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Social Hackathons EFELIA 5

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [18M] with gf [18F] of 1.5years in a LDR, dont know if it will work out POST: So we both are our eachothers' first partners and first kiss/sex experiences too. We started dating when we were in a same school and it was for 10 months. Then she had to move to another city 3hours away, with her family. It went fine first and we visited every 2 weeks. But now it seems we will be in a LDR for a long time to come, for 4 years unless i or she decides to change our studying plans. I want to go to med school and there is no med school where she lives, and she can't move away from her family because, well, she is so close to them. I just can't live with the idea of living in another cities for years. And i can't think of life without her... Also we come from very different families, it seems like we do everything differently, from the foods we eat to the way we spend our free time, and it tends to lead to arguments... I sometimes wonder if she is not the one even though i love her... I dont even know what im thinking anymore, i just cant stand being apart from her or losing her. TL;DR:

Cant stand the idea of being many years in a LDR with my gf, but cant also think of life without her... Reddit, what do ?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20f], my bf [m19] watches my friends on Webcam sites POST: Okay so back story, I have some female friends who are camgirls and are quite popular on a famous cam site. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now, we're moving in together in a few months. I told my bf about my friends that cam, I can't remember why but it came up months and months ago. Shortly after that I found out he had been watching their cam shows and looking on their twitter profiles a few tines a day. I work all evening which is when he does this. I confronted him about it and he said he was just curious. I let him off and he said he'd never do it again. Over the past 6 or so months, literally eevery month I find out he's been on their twitter or camming page again and he always says he'll never do it again. Wtf sshould I do? I love him but this is killing my self confidence and makes me think that I'm not good enough for him. How can I have him stop? TL;DR:

I have some attractive female friends who are online camgirls. My boyfriend found their twitter and camming page and watches them a lot when I'm at work. What can I do, how do I make him stop?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19 M] with my ex-gf [18f] 2 years,how do i move on from a perfect relationship destroyed by circumstance? POST: I met my ex-gf in the summer of 2013 through friends and we quickly began texting 24/7. Come October 2013 we were officially a couple and going out and went strong through my senior year (her junior year) and then on to my freshman year at a nearby community college. When she graduated she elected to go to a teaching school about 45 min away, not too far and even my sister went there. However, both never seeing each other and lack of communication led to several big fights where we almost broke up. In addition, I was very insecure(but worked on it and improved) about several issues and relied on my ex-gf too much when she already had a lot on her plate as it was. Eventually, she told me she was very unhappy not only with the current state of our relationship but also how little she saw me and how we were just growing apart. She couldn't continue to be in this any longer and couldn't see it improving. I understand this is common in relationships such as ours and she wouldn't give us one more shot even though i practically begged. The toughest part of this break up was that i relied on her for a lot and it wasn't as if we hated each there or anything. We still love each other A TON. She apologized to me a hundred times and basically said I was all she could ask for but it was too much for her and she needed to find her own happiness and not rely on me. When were in person together nothing could have been more perfect. I love her with all my heart and would do literally anything to save this, absolutely anything. Unfortunately, i don't think anything i can do anything to fix it. So, what I'm asking is: - anyway to save this at all? - How do i stop texting her and stop viewing her as my girlfriend? how do you go from 2 years with such an amazing person to never talking to them again? I'm sick of crying i could use some help. Sadly enough, normally i would say get a new hobby, but I already work, go to school full time and play too much golf. Thanks in advance. TL;DR:

!Perfect relationship until ex-gf left for college. Cant rely on me anymore for her happiness and needs to fix herself. Can get over it and can't stop thinking about her and texting her. need help.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: Is there any hope? POST: I'm in dire need of financial advice. I'm 28, and have been able to stay gainfully employed since 16, keeping secret and separate my lifelong issues with Bipolar, GAD, and cyclical severe depression. I have always been proud of this separation until a few weeks ago when things spiraled worse than usual. My job, where I have been for two+ years was understanding and gave me some time off to get balanced. I thought it would be a good chance to rest, see my therapist and psychiatrist, make enough side money for bills, and figure stuff out so I could get back to work. I have spent the last three weeks as a prisoner of my mind and have done little more than sleep and panic, let alone make any money. I need 700 dollars to pay rent by the fifth. My family and credit/loans aren't an option due to the fact that my only family I can contact are worse off than me and are the ones who destroyed my credit by using my information for loans when I was younger. What can I do? TL;DR:

couldn't work due to mental/personal problems, need $700 for bills, can't use family or loans. Is there any hope?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19F] with my boyfriend [20M] for a year+, Am I too clingy? -and if so, how do I remedy this? POST: During the school year, we spend a lot of time with each other (i.e. studying in the same room, hanging out with friends, etc.) so I don't really feel too needy and everything's good. During breaks, however, is where the real issue lies. I know that he loves me and he has acquiesced in texting me more often, responding to fb messages etc (with the stipulation that he'll try more only at night) --but only because I explicitly requested so. Most of the time, he's busy hanging out with his best friends and his family, which I don't really have at home (I know, I'm a lonely soul...). Although many of my friends know him or of him and usually ask about him, I have yet to meet his friends and family. I try not to bother him too much though, or get in the way of his fun. Regardless, sometimes I feel like I'm imposing on him too much. I.e. I went paintballing with some friends the other day, and had a lot of fun. I know it's something he's wanted to do, and I hadn't seen him in a week, so I invited him to come visit me -only to be told that he'd rather go with his friends only. Alternatively, I offered to clear an entire day in my schedule to drive down and visit him, but he said maybe...and then no, so now I have a free day for nothing. Is this an indication that I overvalue spending time with him? I feel like I enjoy it much more than he does -and to be honest, I don't want to be like some puppy dog at his beck and call if he doesn't want me there. Am I being too clingy? And how do I fix this issue; because it definitely doesn't feel good! TL;DR:

Boyfriend doesn't value time together over breaks as much as I do, which makes me feel pretty lonely. How do I fix this?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Is it weird that I (F/23) want to bang a guy (m/24) who is like a cousin to me? POST: So I kind of grew up with this guy (m/24) who is a good family friend- he and his sister are often thought of as "cousins" in my tight-knit family. When we were younger (13/14) he was obnoxiously into me and always trying to kiss me/get me to be his gf/ etc.. at the time I didn't really know how to handle it so I always pushed him away but I always sort of liked the attention... he was actually my first kiss and when my actual cousins knew what had happened I kind of acted like I really didn't like him at all.. I was kind of a bitch about it.. ANYWAYS... now we are older and every time I see him he gets hotter and hotter. I just spent the weekend hanging out with him a little and I couldn't stop thinking about getting him alone. At one point he playfully bit my shoulder and I was so close to just locking my door and having my way with him. I know that we aren't related AT ALL, but I was wondering if I should even be entertaining the thoughts that I'm entertaining. I'm pretty sure I dont want an actual "relationship" with him, so how fucked up would if be if I just did stuff with him? I mean it doesn't seem like a good idea since he's at EVERY FAMILY FUNCTION? oh geez, I feel creepy... TL;DR:

I want to bang my "Cousin" who isn't really my cousin at all but is treated as one in my family... is this a horrible idea?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: NSV: small but significant for me! POST: This might seem silly, but when I went to the gym today and opened my gym bag I realized I had forgotten to pack a sports bra for my workout. My gym is about 25 minutes from my apartment (it's right by work so I literally have no excuse to not go because it is NOT out of the way) so there was really no way for me to go home and grab a sports bra to use. A couple weeks ago, I would have just said "oh fuck it, I can't work out without a sports bra. I'll just go home and eat a small dinner tonight so I don't go over my calories," but today I stood there for a second and was disappointed because I had actually been looking forward to working out after a long work day. Then I decided that working out in my normal bra once wouldn't hurt and I would just suck it up for today, changed, and went out and burned 830 calories. I feel great that I didn't let myself take the easy way out and I also feel great post-workout! TL;DR:

forgot sports bra, normally would have just gone home and not worked out, but sucked it up and got a great workout in. Feels great!!

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Aking for Advice/Help tracking down my stolen items POST: I'll probably put more info in later, but I at least want to get my main point in here first as I need to leave for class soon. Anyways, last week my apartment was broken into and the place wasn't trashed or stripped of everything but between myself and my roommates we lost about $3000 worth of electronics and other small item. The theif left a lot which makes me feel like it was a quick deal (he came in through the window). I am at the point of accepting that I won't get my stuff back but I had a major breakthrough Of the items stolen was my xbox 360, and the day after the break-in my friend informed me that my account wa being used as he had seen my gamertag online. I got a hold of microsoft and gave them my information (account name, gamertag, and xbox serial number) and they created a report to go to their special division devoted to tracking this information. I gave the info to my local police department with the number to call microsoft with. This number i specifically for law inforcement and I was told all they needed to do wa fill out a request and this person could be tracked through the IP which they used my xbox to get online. I turned this in Wednesday evening (3 days after the break-in) and the officer I talked to was very understanding (a prior military man himself) and said they would definitely look into this with the new information. The biggest concerns I have i that the PD is fairly small and that they might not act soon enough. I have covered all my personal info, protecting my credit card, etc., but these are the questions I have: 1. has anyone had any experience with the police tracking down stolen goods through IP usage? 2. how quickly will the police act on tracking down my item? 3. is there anything else I can do to assist the police in any way? That's all I have for now TL;DR:

my xbox got stolen and the thief got online with it and I am working with the police and microsoft to track them down

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: Living with my older sister is awful. POST: So after I moved from South Carolina to Texas, I moved in with my older sister. She and I had always been close but never lived together because she is my half sister and lived with her mom. Things were good for the first few weeks, no bitching, no yelling, just letting people be chill and work. But recently she's gone a bit crazy. I work 40-50 hours a week at a restaurant down town, and on top of that I go to Culinary school, which for anyone whose not been isn't sitting in a desk for 8 hours. You're in front of a stove, that's hot, sweating, and working really hard. I don't have a lot of time for social things, or house work because when I get off work I'm exhausted. All my sister does is leave passive aggressive notes everywhere or text me saying "THANKS FOR DOING ______. MEANS A LOT" instead of just asking me to do things. She only works 35 hours a week and doesn't go to school. Spends all her time smoking weed and drinking with her boyfriend and it's expected of me, the one who works and goes to school full time to pick up the slack. I'm not saying I'm completely right and that I couldn't do more housework and plan my day around that accordingly, but I feel as if she just asked me instead of being passive aggressive about everything she doesn't like, things would be a lot better. I mean hell, I forgot to lock the door when I left for work while she was here, and she blew up my phone at work, in an open kitchen, when I work above a 500 degree flattop cooking at a fine dining resturant in one of the biggest food cities in the country. Is it unreasonable to see if she can just leave me alone about it, or even just be nicer about asking for help? TL;DR:

Sister is being passive aggressive towards every little thing that needs doing in our apartment and always blames me, even though I'm never here.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Guy I'm seeing (19/m) has been ignoring me (19/f) POST: I met a guy at a party about 2 months ago and we have been chatting via facebook and catching up randomly ever since, I have not slept with him yet. We had been discussing me going to his house (a few towns over) when suddenly he started ignoring me. I messaged him last wednesday and he has seen it but not replied since and has been online. I am pretty shitty at this internet stuff so I don't really know if this is his way of distancing himself from me or what. I hate the idea of him thinking I'm desperate and needy if I send him another message now but I do actually like him and I'm not really sure what to do TL;DR:

Is this his way of ending whatever the fuck we had going on or am I being too self conscious? I'm so frickin bad at this

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Should I date the friend of a friend I once dated? POST: So here's the back story. Brandon (26M) and I (25F) have been friends since our freshmen year of college. Last year, about 6 months after he got out of a LTR, we ended up hanging out more one on one. This led to some sexual tension building up, which we eventually gave into and both agreed to see where things would go. After a few months he ended up deciding he needed time to himself, to be single since he hadn't been single since he was 18 . Only a few our mutual friends knew we were "more than friends". One of Brandon's good friends from high school, Steven (25M) asked me out on a date about month after things ended with Brandon and I. I'm almost 100% sure Steven had and still has no idea that Brandon and I had been more than friends. When Steven initially asked me out, I was still getting over Brandon so I told him honestly that I wasn't looking to date anyone. Later in the summer until the beginning of this new year, I ended up dating two other guys, both of which didn't work out. The last one ended just after the new year which was when Steven reached out to me again and said that we should hang out. We went to dinner and I had a good time. Since he called it a hang out and I hadn't seen him in a few months, and I had just gotten out of my last relationship, I treated it as a "catch up" dinner. After that dinner, he asked to hang out again. When I agreed, he then went ahead and called this "hang out" we have scheduled for this weekend a date. Now since I just got out of a relationship, once dated his good friend, and I am not sure the chemistry is there, what should I do? Part of me wants to go on a few dates and see if anything develops but it's a bit of a sticky situation with him being in my group of mutual friends and the fact that I once dated his good friend and he doesn't know that. I also don't want to lead him on because he is a genuinely nice guy who doesn't have a lot of experience with girls. Reddit, what do you think I should do in this situation? TL;DR:

Should I date the good friend of a friend I once dated? He doesn't know that I dated his friend last year, and I have some emotional baggage I'm dealing with as I just got out of a relationship.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [18F] with my 5m boyfriend [18 M], he won't stop being overly-friendly with a girl he knows likes her POST: My boyfriend and I are both freshman at the same small college. We have been dating since around November, but hooking up since August. Recently, he started talking to a girl in one of his classes (a class of 6) and started seeking her help with some of the homework. A couple of weeks ago we were at a party where they were talking separately, and she told him that she thought he was attractive. I don't believe she knew that I was dating him, as we're a pretty low-key couple (as in we don't really do PDA and things like that). The problem is that he continues to flirt with her, although unintentionally. Until recently he had been calling her bae and babe. I told him that it's unfair to both me and her to call her those names because it's sending the wrong message, so he's stopped doing that. He's since told her that he's not interested in her romantically and that he's happy in his relationship with me. He's told me that he's not attracted to her in any way, but would like to be her friend (she's a cool cat, I don't blame him). The way that he talks to her about meeting up on party nights would make it easy for her to think that he likes her as more than a friend. I read over his texts the other day and she was saying things like "You don't know me, babe" to which he replied "But I want to get to know you," her response was "But you're dating someone else." I know that he meant wanting to get to know her as like a hanging out at a party type deal, but I don't know how she took it. However, I still feel threatened by her presence in his life. My boyfriend has told me that he's not good at not coming off as flirty, which I know. He's one of those guys that always seems like he's flirting when he's not, so I understand the confusion on her part. He's oblivious. And so even though I know nothing will happen (he's assured me multiple times), part of me still worries. What should I do? TL;DR:

Boyfriend kind of flirts (but doesn't mean to) with a girl he knows likes him. She could be taking it the wrong way.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: /TIFU By protecting my goalie. POST: So to start this off I'm just gonna clarify that this happened when I was 13 years old, everyone else writes TIFUs when the TIFU happened like 7 years ago so I'm gonna go ahead and board the bandwagon. The sport in this story happens to be hockey, I have played hockey my entire life growing up and always played as a forward. For some reason that year I just grew a whole bunch. like 5 inches idk I was taller then everyone on my team by the end of the year. Fast forward through the year and my coach notices I'm not as explosive as a forward and decides "hey let's throw him on defense for the series clinching game against our rivals from Wasaga Beach" sure enough I'm out there for my first shift and I see this cheeseball of a forward just whipping around everyone one the ice. He manages to completely undress me and just Flys around me with an open shot on goalie. My goalie manages to make a killer save but here is where the TIFU happens. I was mad that the little cheeseball made me look stupid on the ice, I was mad that there was now four people smashing my goalie in the arms and legs with their sticks just because he had the puck covered, and this is where I snapped. I decided I was gonna teach that cheeseball a lesson and maybe scare his cronies off. I started skating from my blue line and with the force of a Bruce Lee front kick I fucking smashed into that little piece of old cheddar cheese, smashed into him so hard his helmet flew off and he went airborne towards his one teammate who very violently crumbled to the ground when they collided. Cheeseball was out cold, the guy he smacked into had a busted wrist, the guy that fell landed on his OTHER teammates leg and broke his ankle. I was escorted off the ice almost immediately and suspended for the remainder of the playoffs :(. TL;DR:

Freaked out on a small human, knocked him out, broke the guy behind hims wrist, broke the guy behind that guys ankle, was promptly suspended for rest of playoffs after my first shift on defense.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Need help. After my third major relationship failing, I'm not sure how to begin again. POST: Well, I'm a 26 year old Male Plumber. My Dad passed when I was 14 so I don't have him to confide in. I have only had 3 major relationships since age 18. They have all failed horribly, and I'm beginning to think that I'm totally at fault here. I have spawned 2 daughters from said relationships, and it's been a difficult journey for everyone I'm sure. My latest and most dear lover decided to leave me a single father, with only my Mother to help me with the load of having an 11 month old to rear. I really miss having somebody here with me. As much as I try not to, I still think about her every second of the day, and I'm not ready to let go yet. It's for sure over between us, and she doesn't know I feel this way about her, and it doesn't matter anyways. I just have a bad case of the blues, and I was hoping someone here could shed some light on tactics, or behavior modification that would assist me in getting over her? I still have 90% of her belongings here, and with very little contact, I don't know if she will get it anytime soon. I can't look at this stuff anymore, so I'm moving it to a closet after I consolidate most of it to save room. I made an OKC account after a recommendation from my friend. The username I made is craigers26 if anyone wants to know more about me, and I took time to be really honest, so it's legitimate.. I know it will get better with time, I'm just dealing with a lot of anxiety, and heartbreak after finding out she is dating someone already. How can I stop this? Every song I hear reminds me of her, and I just can't get over the fact she doesn't want to be with her child anymore either. I need help shaking these bad feelings after a Long relationship gone sour. I also would like some advice on how to go about beginning to date again. Use the info on my OKC account to make a call. Just give me advice you think would help! TL;DR:

So Dating_Advice, after many failed relationships, what's your go to method for kicking the blues? How should I go about dating again? Should I wait for the sake of my child?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me[16f] and mom[40sf] - Recovery POST: Wanted to put up a quick post about how I'm doing. Told Doc about mom's behavior they called DFACS or CPS or something but someone is helping me. I've been on heavy meds for quite a bit anasty infection had been growing in my lower intestine and cause me to get worse but I'm getting better now but I almost had to lose part of my intestines it was so bad. I don't know what's going to happen now since they arrested my mom for abuse/neglect. Things are really fuzzy and scary so sorry for the lack of clear understanding and whatever and stuff I just don't know what to do with myself ever since the police came. People were asking for some words about what was going on and this is the first time I've been able to even move in quite a few days ever since I took a bad turn but I'm doing better with my medical issues I had now. I'm really afraid for what's going to happen now since mom is in jail... TL;DR:

bad infection in intestines nearly killed me, mom arrested, scared for what's going to happen when I'm completly better

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: My Father-In-Law Is Scared To Get Up POST: Backstory: My in-laws are moving to be closer to us. They have actually been staying in our house for the last five-plus weeks: The plan was, be here when our second child is born on Valentine's Day, then return home to finish packing, then come back and move into new house. However...shortly after our daughter's birth (but before they returned home), my 65-year-old father-in-law has what we are terming 'an episode'. He was out with my 63-year-old mother-in-law when, for whatever reason, he passed out twice...falling on his leg, breaking it in three places. Then in a follow-up visit with the orthopedist, he announced "I don't feel well" and went completely blank for 45-seconds...an incident that led to four days in the hospital. He has a walker, his leg is healing, the doctors found nothing seriously wrong with him...and he won't get out of my recliner. Meanwhile, my MIL got their old house packed up and sold and has been back for a couple of weeks to help. But they're supposed to close on the new house Wednesday - and he won't even get in the car to go to the closing. My MIL and wife are working on him but he's intransigent. Apparently, he's afraid of falling or passing out again due to the stress. How can I help spur him along? I want to say something like "You married your wife 33 years ago. This is the most important day of the rest of her life. She wants you there, you go." I want to give him a 'be a man' talk - but I'm smart enough to know it's not really my place. Any help would be appreciated. TL;DR:

65-year-old has had a fall and a hospital stint; is reasonably healthy now but refusing to get up or go outside.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Relational Lockdown POST: Info: me, F(25), husband M(24), married one year and together two. We did just start counseling, so that's not really relevant advice for us. Question: What to do with an unresponsive husband? Background: My husband and I were married about a year ago and it's been a tough year to say the least. We moved 3 times, I went through a major depression/PMDD/PTSD, and we're now in a town where we do not know anyone else (i.e. no in-person support network for either of us). In the last several months, our disagreements have become increasingly hurtful and bitter. It has gotten to the point now where my husband, in addition to calling me names, will throw out phrases like "you are incapable of understanding," or "I hope someday you can understand this truth." Of course, without context, those might sound innocuous. But I feel that they display something much deeper and dangerous. He will say those things and then shut down. Sometimes for days at a time. To me, this displays a huge issue that he is unwilling to see me as equal (essential to a healthy relationship), and that he is too proud to communicate for the sake of understanding, and rather communicates for the sake of putting me down. Couple this with other statements like "I don't respect you," and "your words mean less than nothing to me," I feel at a complete loss for how to communicate with him to improve where we are right now, since he won't take my words seriously. So, people with relevant experience (the locked out and the locker-out), what do I do? How have you dealt with being the recipient of situations like this, or, conversely, why do you behave this way and what would help you out of it? TL;DR:

I am afraid my husband does not respect me, and he won't communicate needs/expectations to me when I ask. What do you suggest?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: (M24) with highly stressed gf (20) POST: So we are in a long distance but serious relationship. She is studying foe her finals and projects and is really insistent in needing addional space. This is normal around midterms and finals and I usually just back off ad she says until things settle down. However this time around shes had a lot of recent stressors on top of school so I don't know if I should do my normal routine which is send her occasional text to let her know I'm thinking of her or if I should find something to do to give her a good suprise that isn't invasive to her study times. I would have no idea where to start with something like that. TL;DR:

girlfriend stressed out and concerned normal behavior of letting her just focus on school may fall short of what she needs. Any advice?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Need some help interpreting a thought I had today. POST: Ok. So my girlfriend [18f] and I [19m] have been experimenting with our sexuality and just sex in general. In previous conversations she has expressed to me that she would like to try pegging, which I was very happy about, she also expressed to me that she enjoys guys cross dressing. That one I wasn't to keen on and I still am not, but I decided that I would be willing to do something like that for her. She is also pansexual (important background info. If ya don't know what it is a quick google search will help). I've expressed to her that I don't want to be emasculated and have no desire to be a woman and she knows that. I hadn't given the topic much though afterwards. It dawned on me today though that and this is gunna be simplified if she wants me to dress like a woman, and have sex with me like a woman (I mean this as in penetrative sex where I am being submissive and penetrated, the whole pegging part). The combination of all these things makes me feel like she would rather me be a woman sometimes. She has told me she has no desire for that but part of me just can't shake the feeling like she does. What do you think? Thanks for reading any advice helps. Have a wonderful day! TL;DR:

The girlfriend wants me to play the part of a woman in the bedroom but is telling me she has no desire for me to be a woman. How should I interpret/ handle this?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: For over ten years, my life was completely out of whack POST: For much of my adult life, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I was unmotivated and depressed. I was fired from job after job for reasons ranging from answering my cell phone to accidentally destroying a fifty thousand dollar machine. Life was a haze and I didn't know what to do about it. I was ambitious but nothing ever seemed to work out. When I finally held on to a job for long enough to get health coverage, things started to change quickly. First I was diagnosed with diabetes- then with hypothyroidism. I am medicated for both of these conditions now but am still burdened with all of the failures that went before. Now that I have cleared up at least some of the underlying issues, I would like to try to live up to my potential. However, with bad employment history, worse credit, and mediocre grades in college (though I do have my Bachelor's) I am anxious and discouraged at the thought of explaining all of this in an interview. I would like to go to graduate school eventually. I wonder though if the medical factors are enough to reassure a skeptical interviewer that I am an intelligent, motivated, and competent person? TL;DR:

I had a series of failures earlier in my life, and then found out that I had some untreated illnesses which contributed. How do I move on?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [34F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of a year, are talking about living together-- move into my place or move somewhere new? POST: Hi there!! I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for just over a year now and we are talking about moving in together. I live on my own and he doesn't, so he already spends a lot of time here. I love having him here, he's thoughtful, mellow and just wonderful to be around. This is my first place that I have ever lived in by myself, and I've made my home really sweet, cozy and have decorated it with all my taste. When I think about moving in with him, I picture it being in a new place, where we can both decorate and carve out our own spaces. However, my place is pretty big for a one bedroom, and moving is such a pain in the butt. He would like to move in here, and he's super mellow about the decorations, etc. I would prefer to get a new place together, but I feel like it would be so much less stressful than moving. I would love to hear about people's experiences doing both-- moving into a new place together or moving into one of your places. I've already brainstormed how we can make this place feel newish for both of us-- me getting rid of a lot of clutter, moving around furniture, making spaces for him in here, etc. I would appreciate any feedback! Thanks! TL;DR:

Boyfriend and I have been together a year now, talking about living together. He wants to move into my place, I prefer to get a new place. Thoughts and experiences from others please?!

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I've [24M] been dating [26F] for two years. Got drunk and went to a strip club even though I knew it would hurt her. Now I feel like I should break up with her because she deserves better. POST: I don't know what I'm expecting to get out of this post, my head just feels clouded right now. I asked her in the past if she would be okay with me going to a strip club, she said no and we got into a fight about her being insecure for me asking. I went anyways, and even though I didn't have sex with anybody it feels like I cheated on her. I did something I knew she wouldn't be okay with. I told her about it when I got home that night and she obviously got upset with me and said it's going to take a while for her to trust me. I'm a little surprised at how well she handled it, and it seems like she'll be able to move on, but I just feel so incredibly guilty lately. I was drunk when it happened, but don't want to use that as an excuse for what I did. A part of me feels like if I really cared about her, I wouldn't have made that decision even if I was drunk. I love my girlfriend more than anything and want her to be happy. I worry that if she stays with me, she'll feel insecure because of what I did, which she doesn't deserve. She says she doesn't want to break up but I think she would be happier with somebody else. TL;DR:

I went to a stripclub and I feel too guilty to stay in the relationship even though I love my girlfriend and she forgave me.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: I was almost charged for animal cruelty. What is the most ridiculous or inexplicable "crime" you have been, or almost been convicted of? POST: The story behind this: I was attending a small community college that was on a bad side of town and surrounded by a lot of homes. Right next to where I normally parked was a house with about 5 chained up pit bulls. While I was finishing up my morning class, I decided to drive home for a quick nap and come back for my afternoon classes. As I was walking to my car, I see a huge crowd and a few police officers standing around a car. To my luck, it was MY car. Some how, one of the dogs from the house had broken off half its chain and wrapped the chain around my tire about four times. The poor dog was screaming out of fright and the chain was cutting into it's neck. After the campus cops asked me a few questions, they told me I was probably going to be charged for "using a dog as an alarm system (cruelty), starving a pet, not having proper pet identification, and not properly taking care of it". It was almost impossible to explain that it wasn't my dog and that I had no idea how it got chained up to my car. I had to wait three hours for Animal Control to come get the dog. Once they arrived, they recognized the dog and explained to the cops that if it had been my dog, it wouldn't have acted so defensively towards me. If it weren't for the Animal Control, I probably would have been charged for the crime and been fired from my job, seeing as how it involved me taking care of animals. TL;DR:

I was almost charged for animal cruelty for a dog somehow chaining itself to my car. Animal Control saved my ass.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: All I want to do is flick the bean, how do I go back to enjoying sex? POST: So here's the problem: About a year ago I made a breakthrough in masturbation techniques and figured out how to give myself mind-blowing orgasms. I realized that I wasn't even having them before, but now I'm having them and I'm LOVING them. Good, right? Great! But the problem is...nobody else can give them to me. I've tried to teach men how to do it but nobody has managed, and sex in general has become very dissastisfying for me. I still enjoy getting him off but I don't get off. The only way I can is if I do it myself, and I have performance issues so they're minor orgasms at best if a man is present. It seems like I've just raised my standards much too high. How do I lower them? Should I stop fapping? TL;DR:

Men can't give me orgasms because I know exactly what I want and only I can do it. How do I lower my standards so I enjoy sex more?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [22M] girlfriend [22F] won't seem to accept that I don't like going out when I'm on-call. POST: We've been dating for 3 years and living together for the last year now. I've been working as a community nurse for a little over a year now - with the job comes being on call (only one night a week). Anything that comes through after 4:30 falls onto me - whether it's new orders, a new referral, or a patient calling our after-hours pager. Most nights are quiet, some will have patient's calling out every hour or two. I don't like going out when I'm on call. Whether it's for a bite to eat at a restaurant, for a night cruise, or even to go grab a slice of pizza. I'm sure other nurses do but I don't feel comfortable doing it. We're required to answer the page within 30 minutes but realistically it should be within a few minutes - our pager is a big bulky iPad. I'm always worried that I'll be out and get a page. It's just one of those things I prefer - staying home when I'm on call. I've explained this to her more times than I can count yet she'll still try and nudge me into going out. Tonight she wanted me to go and grab a slice of pizza with her. I had to say no several times and even say "I've said this more times than I can count, I really appreciate the offer but I don't like going out when I'm on call." All I got back was a "fine, see ya in a bit." TL;DR:

Our relationship is otherwise great but my girlfriend just can't seem to understand I don't like leaving the house when I'm on-call. I've talked to her about this several times already. Am I being irrational here?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [21/M] vividly dreamed of cheating on my [21/F] girlfriend of 3 years last night, and could use some advice. POST: Hi /r/relationships. I made a throwaway for obvious reasons. A little background about me: My girlfriend and I are in college right now, we have been dating for several years, and friends before that. We have been extremely happy together and have had quite frank conversations about the future, we intend to marry when we graduate, and I have been looking around at rings. I have not been attracted to another woman while in this relationship. Like everyone else, I have found other women good looking, but have never been emotionally attracted to someone. However, last night I dreamed I cheated on my girlfriend, and it was very detailed. The person whom I "cheated" with is a friend of mine at school as well, though we have only known each other for a year or so. I remember very vividly what we did, and how we did it, and the regret and shame I felt after it happened, and I felt the same when I woke up. My girlfriend and I don't have any troubles besides the occasional fight. She's my best friend, and I care for her more than anyone and desperately want to spend my life with her, which is why this disturbed me so much last night. That, and how vivid this was. I remember where I was, what both myself and the person I was "cheating" with was wearing. Once again, this is someone I know, and now I feel guilty, ashamed, and a little awkward and nervous about seeing this friend again since I have thought of them (even subconsciously) in a very sexual way. Thanks everyone, any advice is appreciated. TL;DR:

In a happy, monogamous relationship, dreamed quite vividly about cheating last night with a friend, now disturbed and need advice.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Told SO that he isn't romantic and I accept it. Now he says I insulted him. POST: Me, f/24; SO m/27. Together for a year and some odd months. His youngest brother got married on Saturday. His brother and new wife wrote their own vows and I was surprised that his brother came up with such beautiful things to say about her. Today I mentioned that I never thought his brother had it in him and that he said some lovely things. I said that if for some reason we got married, I had no interest in writing our vows, partially because he does not have a romantic bone in his body. I thought that it would come as a relief to him that he didn't have that kind of pressure anymore but instead, he says that I've insulted him. Now, the SO and I have always had different views on marriage. I see it as something romantic and wonderful. He sees it as something outdated and not necessary. He has said that he wants to spend his life with me, etc. and that he would marry me to make me happy. I've always struggled with that in particular, like if I was forcing him into it. We've also had issues with him being a bit cold and not romantic. After some time of agonizing over this issue, I have accepted that he is just not the romantic type and told him so this morning, saying that I've accepted that he isn't romantic and that's okay with me now. How does that turn into an insult? Should I apologize or something? TL;DR:

Told non-romantic boyfriend that it's okay that he isn't like that, and now he says I've insulted him.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by calling my brother a wizard POST: Now before you start to make strange claims about what i called my brother, acknowledge the fact that he fits the whole "neck-beard" stereotype perfectly. A bit of background onto why I called my brother a wizard before the actual story; He turned 30 today, he spends 32 hours a week playing WoW, his weight is over 230 lbs, he is unmarried, has never been in a relationship, and he is a virgin. Now what i have said so far seems really mean and rude, Im not gonna lie to y'all it is a little harsh. However take into account the internet legend of how wizards are made. Once every three decades a man shall arise, and this man shall bear the title of wizard. Should their virginity remain untouched for the many years, then their power shall be released! (thanks for that 4chan) Now onto the story! I went down to florida to vist my brother since his birthday was today and since he's enamored with technology and the crevices of the internet I figured I would call him a wizard for the rest of the day. About 2 hours after I came to his house we went out for lunch and I accidentally referred to him as "Grand wizard of virginity" (how the hell could something like that slip out so casually?!) as the waitress was handing out our food. She gives my brother the creepiest stare and his face starts to turn redder than my ass after his april fools prank (thats a story I have told on this sub before). After we finished eating he gave me the angriest and most embarrassed glare I have ever seen. My brother has now locked himself in his room for the past 2 hours and all I hear is frantic typing on a keyboard and the sounds of him yelling "DAMMIT HEAL THE FUCKING TANKS AND STOP LETTING THE DPS PEOPLE GET HIT". TL;DR:

Called my brother a grand wizard of virginity in front of a cute waitress and now hes yelling at people while playing world of warcraft

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by trying to light a cigarette POST: I was at a party out at a friend's house. Decent sized event; bonfire, beer pong, barbecue, heavy drinking; the type of thing I'd typically avoid like the plague but a buddy of mine and his girlfriend really want to go so I do. I only knew the friend and the couple that I rode with, and I'm designated driver, so naturally I'm bored as shit and not talking to anyone. I begin to pretty much chain-smoke, as I am wont to do in situations of extreme boredom The male of the couple has had a couple of mixed drinks so he's a wee bit toasted and we get to chitty chatting. I pull out another cigarette to light. He asks for one, which I obligingly give to him. He then gets a brilliant idea. He dares me to try and light my cigarette in the campfire. Remember at this point, that I am completely sober and my friend is the drunk one. I figure it'll add some excitement to this party if I give it a shot, so I pop the cigarette into my mouth and begin to bend over the fire. I lean in closer and closer inching my way towards it, until at the last second I remember that my hair is longer than I usually keep it. I flinch back and pull my hair back and begin to lean in once more. As I finally get close enough to the fire to light my cigarette, a plume of fire bursts up and catches me right in the face. Out of panic, I let go of my hair which drops into the fire and catches along with my now burnt eyebrows and eyelashes. I stand straight up realizing I'm on fire. All those years of schools teaching you "Stop, Drop and Roll" are nice, but they don't really do shit for you when you're actually on fire. I take off running, thinking maybe if I run fast enough it'll blow the fire out... It doesn't. I finally catch eye of a small kiddie pool that my friend has set up and throw myself into it face first. The fire is now out. Worst part of all, my face caught but my cigarette didn't so I didn't even succeed in the dare. We left the party shortly thereafter TL;DR:

I lit my face on fire trying to light a cigarette in a campfire and put it out in a kiddy pool.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: He broke up with me... POST: We never had the perfect relationship, but it was always really, really worth it. Over the summer, we didn't get to see each other much, but I didn't care, nothing could change the way I feel about him. Not even after about a month ago, when he broke up with me, over text... The reason being we had a few arguments over things, mostly him being jealous over me hanging out with a guy friend... He claimed that he wanted me, but not the relationship. After over a year of being with me, he just walks away like it's nothing. We were seriously close, okay? And now, he has completely cut me out of his life. Now that summer is over, and I have to see him again everyday, it kills me to look at him and see him be okay. It wasn't like he just gradually drifted off. One day it was "I love you," the next it was, "I can't deal with you anymore." (He did say that he still loved me though, but I'm not sure if he still feels that way now...) How could he change his mind so quickly? I'm not trying to sound like the psychotic ex-girlfriend here, but... Is there anyway I can change his mind about this? I can't take my mind off of it, and the pain is overwhelming. I miss him horribly, and I just want one more chance. Someone help, please, I have nowhere else to turn... TL;DR:

I dated a guy for over a year, but over the summer he dumped me over a fight. Is there any way I can get him back?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by potentially losing my dream job. POST: I received the letter regarding an interview for a position for a company that I've revered since high school. Leading up to the interview I've quit smoking weed in preparation of a drug test. I went to the interview and in my opinion, I bombed horribly. I got lightheaded the moment the interview started and all the answers that I've prepared for went right out the window. Judging by the expressions of the interviewers, they just wanted to go to lunch since my interview was scheduled at 11. I left the interview with a very low morale and convinced that I blew my chances of getting my dream job. Three weeks have passed with no word and I've lost all hope, so on Saturday my friends come over and we started playing destiny and sparked a few blunts (this was the first time I've smoked weed in 2 months). When all of a sudden the fedex man knocked on the door holding a thick envelope with the distinguishable logo of my dream company. I immediately ripped the envelope and along with a company t-shirt I got a letter essentially saying after much consideration and over hundreds of candidates, I got the fucking job! I ran into the house and started celebrating with my friends. Then on queue, an attached page fell on the floor regarding a required criminal background check and drug/alcohol test in 4 days. My heart sank and here comes the panicking. So I'm currently sitting here at my current job chugging gallons of water and cranberry juice just hoping that by tomorrow at 12:30, I'll miraculously be able to squeeze out some clean piss. I took a home test last night and it came out positive. fml TL;DR:

Didn't hear back from my dream company. Started smoking weed then ended up getting job in which I have to take a drug test.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [19/F] is living near an ex [20/M next semester and I need advice POST: Backstory: I meet this guy (we will call him Brandon) due to him being a friend of my friend's boyfriend. The two friend groups hung out pretty often. We started hanging out because we had really similar personalities and he seemed like a nice guy. We started by dating and now after the fact, I realized he was using me completely. I never slept with him or anything, but I honestly feel like he broke it off because I wouldn't sleep with him. We did end up doing some stuff and I honestly still feel guilty about being pressured into it. The problem: Brandon is living with my friend's boyfriend this coming semester. They applied to our apartment complex after we did. We received our room assignments recently and I found out from my friend that they are going to be living a building across from us. I haven't hung around him since he broke it off (he has an internship so I didn't see him much anyway). I just know that our groups are going to be hanging out a lot because we live so close. I'm really wondering how to handle this situation because honestly just the sight of him kinda makes me sick. Thanks for the advice. TL;DR:

I'm living near my ex, who I feel used me. How to deal with any interactions when hanging out with friends

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [M30] met and falling for a girl [f30] who has HSV2 (Genital Herpes), is it worth the risk. POST: I recently met a really amazing girl [Dating for 2 months] who is positive for herpes, she was very upfront with me about it. We have been intimate a couple of times and I have practiced as safe of sex as is possible with her. She has had it for several years and has previously passed it to former partners. I have been researching it for a few weeks and what little information is available it sounds like transmission rates with precautions are fairly low. There is so little information and previous Reddit post on this topic for something that 1 out of every 6 Americans reportedly has. If I didn't think this relationship could go somewhere I wouldn't be sticking around, but we have a lot in common, we are both looking for the same things, and we click really well. I have read some stories on forums about long term couples where one is infected and the other is not. At the same time I have read a lot of horror stories about easily passing the virus. I am completely disease free and get tested every few years, I am really scared of getting it and having to rejoin the dating community with this over my head. I have the feeling if I end things because of this I will be thinking what if for a very long time if not the rest of my life. Does anyone have experience in this situation, I know I need to make up my own mind but hearing other redditors experiences with this type of stuff will be very helpful. Sorry for the throwaway, I think i'm more embarrassed than her about this. TL;DR:

Met a girl with herpes, I think it can go somewhere but I am really scared about catching the virus and needing to date again.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I'm [24/m] clueless on what I should do about my 6 years relationship with my gf [24/f]. Please give some advices... POST: So I have been in a serious relationship with this girl since high school. She is my first and only love. We had our differences, but we managed to go past 3 breakups (each lasted no more than a week!) and enjoyed each others company for last 6 years. Last year, after college I moved to USA for higher education and she stayed back. For the last couple of months we have been talking about the future of our relationship and getting married etc. After lots of discussion I can see there are bunch of problems ahead of us: 1. I would love to stay back in USA and get a job. If we get married, my gf will not be able to work here until I get a green card or citizenship. And we both want that she should not become a housewife. 2. There is a possibility for her to get a job in USA if she does a masters here. But she is doing her PhD in our home country and does not want to do a masters again. I failed to convince her that doing a masters will open up several job opportunities for her. Her parents do not like me and they want her to break up with me. But at some point she said to me that it will not be a problem for her to go against her parents. 3. I am not sure if this should affect our relationship! She has a sister who is physically disabled and my gf is worried that if she comes to USA, she will not be able to take care of her sister if any complicacy arises at some point. 4. Now the easiest solution that I can think of is for me to go back to my country and get settled there. Which is what my parents would like me to do too!! But I do not want that for myself. I dreamt of a better lifestyle, better opportunities. Going back to my country is the last resort for me if nothing works out as planned here in States. TL;DR:

What would you do if your gf for 6 years does not want to move to a new country with you because of her family problems?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [16M] having troubles defining the relationship with her [18F] POST: I recently started talking to a senior at my school, we texted for a few days then after school last Friday I asked what she was doing on Saturday, and long story short we ended up going out to dinner and playing putt putt, took her home and kissed her for our first time, and then went home and she texted me for a little bit about how great of a night it was and thanked me for everything etc etc. Then at work on Sunday she texted me asking me how my day was and I told her it wasn't going to well, but would be better if I got to see her, she told me she was free later that night then she came over around 7. We watched a movie, made out a little bit, (okay, a lot a bit) then layed out on the deck for a little bit and just talked, my parents came home around 9 and she met them and talked to them for a little bit then we drove around for a while and then she went home, texted me later that night again saying how much she's loves hanging out with me and had a really great time, etc etc. Fast forward to this week so far, couldn't ever really hang out at all through the weekdays, due to her new job, and my baseball schedule/work. Only thing I'm really worried about is our communication, she's the worst at texting back (hopefully just due to being busy) takes about 1-2 hours sometimes, but when she does actually text back it's longer flirty messages, so not like she's trying to be short with me. I know it's obviously way too early to be trying to get into an actual relationship, but what should I be trying to do regarding our conflicting schedules, and does it sound like her feelings are matching mine? I really like this girl and she's so much fun to be around, really need your help reddit. TL;DR:

Girl I recently started talking to said she really likes being together, but she's terrible at ever texting back and never really has time to hang out. Not sure what her feelings are towards me either...

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24/F] with my bf [27/M] of a year, I feel like I don't feel passionate about my relationship anymore and I don't know if this is normal. POST: I've been dating my bf for a year now. He's a great guy, but we've had some issues lately that have caused me to feel less than excited about things. My bf is overweight and a poor dresser, and although this didn't bother me as much in the beginning of our relationship, it really started getting to me around March so we had a really honest talk about it and I told him that I was worried about his health and I wanted him to take pride in his appearance. I'm slim and I dress well most of the time so I feel like he should put in some effort too. Since then, it's been a conversation that we've had many times and although he's lost about 20 pounds since then, it still feels like pulling teeth to get him to pay attention to his appearance. His responses to me about this- and at just about everything we talk about- are almost always him sitting in silence and feeling bad about himself. I understand that weight and general appearance are delicate issues, but I feel like all I ever do when I talk to him is to make him feel bad, and as a result it doesn't seem like we're having a discussion, only me giving a lecture. He has a hard time communicating when he feels badly about something and says that he needs time to process things before he can respond to them. Things like his dress and his weight are slowly improving but I still feel like the only reason they are is because I hound him for it, and not because he legitimately wants to look attractive. He's even stated that the only reason he cares if he's attractive is because he wants me to be happy. Unfortunately all of this is having a negative effect on my sex life, and I'm finding that I'm simply not attracted to my boyfriend right now even though he's an awesome guy. I recently developed a small crush on a guy that I work with that isn't helping things at all, and I'm feeling increasingly trapped. I want to save my relationship and be happy with the person I'm with. Is this something I can fix? If so what do I do? TL;DR:

Feeling loss of passion in my relationship due to various issues, including my boyfriend's lack of communication with me and lack of attention to his appearance.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My single mother friend F24 has an eating disorder and is lonely - how do I know when to stop pushing? POST: So I happened to post an instagram photo while I was out and about. I noticed a few hours later it had a comment from an old friend. It had been over a year since I'd seen her. We knew each other in high school and were quite close. She dated two of my friends and neither break was too civil, but in all honesty I saw no reason to be mean to her just because the relationship had ended. So we stayed in touch hung out, and when my relationship ended she was kind enough to have me over to talk and be consoling and even tried to help me find a new job. So part of me has always felt that should she ever be in a similar predicament I should do the same as not many friends were forthcoming during that period in my life. Her message said she'd seen me in town, and we should hang out. She lives right down the street from me. I managed to get her new number and we began texting. She told me she'd split up with baby's father and was living alone and that she'd developed an eating disorder (she'd always been incredibly svelte). So I said well let's hang out. I've made a few attempts, during the afternoons but she works. So I suggested after work. She suggested her lunch break but I work around that time unfortunately. When I said about after work she said that she has her son, and I said look it's no worry about him and I even offered to take care of him if she wanted a few hours/night off. I really don't want to push her or be too ott, but I'm conflicted because sometimes I think in these scenarios you need someone to pull you out of the mire. Is there a way to strike a balance? TL;DR:

friend who is a single mom and has issues. Trying to help her but don't want to be pushy or OTT. Striking a balance.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: [19M] Wondering what my next move should [19F] POST: Background: I recently started FB messaging a girl I used to have classes with in first semester of college. During the first semester she had a boyfriend. But they broke up and its been a couple months since its happened. When we first started talking again that was one of the first things that she told me. More recent: We would talk every so often on FB. Out of the blue a couple days ago she gave me her number and told me to text her instead. So I did. We started talking some more and now we have been meeting up at the school's library. She found out that I have started to workout and is all of a sudden working out now as well. Do you think this a coincidence or is something a foot? I do like this girl, but Im nervous that I will do something to screw up or push her away. I also find that when I do talk to her I get nervous and run out of things to say.. TL;DR:

Started talking to a girl again that I met in first semester. She Gave me her number, told me she is single. Found out I am working out and is now as well. Not sure how to proceed

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (21F) Ex (22M) just moved away, and I'm jumping into something new (22M). Bad Idea? POST: For the past year or so, one of my good friends (22M) and I have been getting a lot closer. At the start of the summer, he and I started dating and everything was going really well. We had the same relaxed attitude, similar interests, focus on fun, and it finally seemed like this was going to be a relationship that was worthwhile. I'm young, dated casually, never really put much effort into dating and just let it happen, so when this guy and I got together it was the first time I felt seriously about someone. Summer is going by well, we're getting closer, enjoying ourselves. Things start going south in his life, unrelated to us. Basically his funding got cut for school, his job fell through, and where we live isn't exactly a prosperous area. In the same week, other friends of mine and his who had been planning all summer to move across the country have a situation fall through and they're looking for another roommate. Problem, meet solution. So obviously my boyfriend (who is the adventure type) takes up the opportunity, and decides to move north with the others. I honestly can't say I blame him for going, I would do the same in his position. We were only together a few months, so naturally we broke up when he left and we're trying to stay friends, but it is tough. Meanwhile, an ex-boyfriend (term used loosely) from high school recently started chatting me up and I can't help myself but enjoy the attention. I feel bad because my ex, who I was / am really into but can't reasonably see myself with any time soon, only left a couple weeks ago and I know I'm just rebounding. But at the same time, this blast from the past makes me laugh, it's a great distraction, and normally I don't really see the harm in a little flirting. I'm just scared he won't see things the same way, and maybe I'm trying to justify some sketchy behaviour. Hence asking unbiased redditors like you beautiful people. What are the boundaries here? At what point am I just being a tease and am I being unfair to my summertime ex? TL;DR:

Ex-boyfriend from the summer moved across the country couple weeks ago and an old flame is back. Trying to figure out if I'm alright to be flirty or if I'm being a tease

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Brother's a Functioning Schizo Who Gets Babied; I'm a Struggling Art Student Who Wants Help, but is Ignored. Input? POST: Background: *Me: 18, girl, artsy fartsy type, "misunderstood", youngest of three *Bro: 24, brilliant typical student A's all around, a now functioning schizophrenic, diagnosed at 22 *Family: science and math oriented, good grades, loving parents, smart sister (she's 22), all supportive of each other Question Build Up: *My mom likes to favor my brother over me because when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia he needed a lot of help to do basic things. I was completely okay with this then, hell he needed the help. I could get through high school without help I had friends. But she continues to help him with everything now, even though he's fully functioning, going to school for his PHd, has a full-time job, and is basically living as well as anyone could have ever hoped. He does not need this help. I would like help now, I need it now. College is hard, the school bills are piling up, having boyfriend issues, and I can't keep up. *I've talked to my mother and sister about this before. Every time I try asking my mom for help, or bring up the issue of my brother she just brushes it off as sibling rivalry. My sister tells me I'm just making this 1st world problem a problem because I crave attention, and just to deal with it. (She's a very willfully strong individual) I'd talk to my dad, but he doesn't really "do" these kinds of talks. Actual Question: My question is how do I deal with my functioning schizophrenic brother being favored/babied over me? And what else does reddit think about this situation I'm in? TL;DR:

brother's a function schizophrenic and get's babied by parents, I'm jealous because I want to be babied. How do I deal with this?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [28F] with my boyfriend[35m] of 9 months, I have repetitive emotional distance that has happened in every relationship and I'd really like to change this, help! POST: Hello, this is my first time posting so I hope I do this right.I have been with my boyfriend who is the kindest, most patient, supportive man I have ever met and I am slowly starting to tear us apart. Background: Since about age 22 I've never had a relationship last more than a year or lived with anyone. Every time I date someone around the 8th month mark or sooner I start to nit pick, feel annoyed at nothing (really), decreased sex drive, feel less affectionate (if at all) and just experience a general distance from my partner. I start to in my head turn who was once a good friend and lover into this person who is almost my enemy. I saw this behavior pattern and sought counseling and was single for quite sometime, thinking I had solved it I returned into the dating world and met who when I am in my right state of mind the person I could marry. Sometimes when my boyfriend talks I feel like he's trying to teach me and feel annoyed. I try to in my brain take a step back and realize he is just sharing some of what he is reading/learning which is awesome really!!! I just get overly defensive about everything and get an attitude. I can see myself doing this and I can't stop it because my feelings are so strong. My boyfriend is hardworking, tentative, responsible and even working full time does helps with house chores anytime I ask or even when I don't! I am in school full time and work and he is nothing but supportive of my school work and study group times. Also, my family loves him! And here my brain is trying to form disconnect and it's working. I am starting to feel less affectionate and he notices and I feel like he deserves much more and I am sad I don't naturally feel like I want to give it to him. Even with all this hurricane inside my head I always try to remind him how amazing he is and how thankful I am for him and his support and try to do stuff to be supportive back, I still feel a disconnect. Has anyone else ever experienced this? Insight would be amazing. Thank you TL;DR:

Repetitive old thought patterns are destroying my relationships with the man of my dreams and I don't know how to make it stop.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: r/AskReddit, I'm a 19 year old about to make plans to change my life entirely, may I ask for your help? POST: So... a little background story to start this post off: I'm a 19 year old Chinese student planning to move back to the States for my 3rd year of college. I was born in HK and am currently attending a community college here for the time being. Now, the HK educational system is quite different compared to the one in the States. The credits from the 2 years of CC will not fully transfer to the 3 year University, instead it will transfer only 1 year and I'll be returned attending year 2 of 3 the next year. I've previously lived in the States for over 10 years, attempting to acquire citizenship with my parents. Due to a complete fuck up from our lawyer, he basically screwed us by not alarming us that our Visa was done thus rendering our process useless. We stayed an extra year afterward to finish my HS education and we moved back. **Now here's my dilemma:** I want to move back to the States where all my friends and sister are, but I'm worried about my difficulties in providing sufficient funding for school. My parents can and may provide some sort of help with money, but they have enough on their plate and I want to try to do this on my own. Now knowing that r/AskReddit has people from all over the place, I wanted to ask for some options or steps I can take in maybe acquiring some kind of financial aid or work opportunities? **BTW:** I am working and saving money atm for the move, I work like every weekend and go to school on the weekdays. And school here is hard enough where I'm not sure I would get in even if I was lucky next year. **Here are some information that might be helpful:** * I plan to move back to California, Los Angeles * Once I finish CC, I would have my Associate degree * I plan to study Psychology * I'm looking into Cal Poly or any other Cal states schools that are cheaper than UCs * Also plan to move onto post-grad studies after acquiring my BA TL;DR:

Chinese student that went to from 4th grade-HS in the States trying to move back for College. Looking for help for financial aid programs that are probable. Willing to work if possible.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by volunteering for a fundraiser half marathon without knowing the run route. POST: Last Saturday I volunteered to be a worker for a half marathon race fundraiser. After I checked in I was driven to the last water point, at a T intersection about 2 km from the finish, so I was told. But I was told nothing else and I asked no further questions. Within 15 minutes a pack of very fast runners begin to approach. Their leader yelled to me "Which way?" Well, I had no fucking idea. I could either guess left or right. But, the road they were to turn on was a one-way road. So I directed them in the direction of the one-way, towards downtown. I had a 50-50 chance of directing them in the correct direction. I guessed wrong. For the next 30 minutes or so I directed runners in the wrong direction until one of the race organizers drove by and caught me in the middle of directing another group downtown. We spent the next hour sending vans downtown finding runners and bringing them back like lost kids at a park. TL;DR:

I directed the first 40-60 half-marathoners in a race in the wrong direction (when they were 2km from the finish) causing them to run around aimlessly.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [27M] here with my buddy's [28M] cousin [21F], I met her at my buddy's wedding, how should I let him know? POST: My good friend just got married recently and I was one of his groomsmen. It was an amazing wedding and everyone had a ton of fun, aided by copious amounts of alcohol. A few days after the wedding, Julie added me on facebook and we said hi. From what I remember, we met at the wedding, and took a few shots together, took some pics at the photobooth together, and danced together a bit too. We started chatting on facebook, with a bit of flirting, and her hinting at how i started off as a gentleman and as the night went on became less and less so. Basically, it ended up with us making plans to hang out this Sunday. I'm taking her out kayaking and to have lunch together. Anyone have some suggestions on if, when, and how I should let my buddy know about this? TL;DR:

hit it off with my friend's cousin at his wedding a week ago, how do I let him know I'm interested in his cousin?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [M22] accused my SO [F19] of cheating on me. Help me with her reaction. POST: I [M22] accused my SO [F19] of being unfaithful to me. She reacted offensively, when I presented her with questions of messages she had received. Without giving any details, she's been on a trip where the have "been together" (don't know if sexually) with a guy, and this second person was jealous of them "being together". She also was asked to "come sleep in my bed" by the first guy, but only rejected because the second guy was there. Should I trust her when she just says 'no'? Or should she be able to explain the messages to me? She just dodges my questions and only answers 'no'. TL;DR:

Accuses SO of being unfaithful after "being together" with another guy on a trip. She dodges my questions when asked to explain in details.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: I (19M) am trying to talk to a friend from high school (19F) to start a relationship. How do I do this? POST: We're both freshmen in college, and we go to different schools in the area. We both commute. We live on the same street, and we always got along well on the bus going to and from school. I went to her graduation party over the summer and that's one of the last times we spoke (the rest was just a few times on Facebook and once at the mall where she works). I just got out of a "thing" I had with another girl that ended on a note that kind of left me feeling like finding a connection with someone is all I need to satisfy myself. So, I'd like to develop a similar connection with this girl, and whatever comes of it, comes of it, but my issue is starting to talk to her again. I don't have her #, so if I talk to her it would be via Facebook. The reason I like her is because she was always someone that I liked not just for looks (which is rare, considering I don't like too many people's personalities). She is cute, though. How would you suggest going about this? TL;DR:

I want to start some relationship with a girl from high school that I knew and lives close to me, but I don't know how to go about this. It seems that I usually hit roadblocks here, from past experience.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23M] broke up with my ex-girlfriend [21F] of 1 year, two weeks ago. Her POST: I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago. It wasn't sudden, it was something that we had talked about over the last month. She was absolutely devastated though, and completely heart broken. As much as I still care about her and remember all the great times we had, it was something that I needed to do. When we broke up she said that she loved me more than anyone before, and wouldn't be able to easily get over it. Knowing that she has struggled with a lifelong battle of depression, I wanted to make sure that she was doing okay by checking in with her friends. To my surprise I find out that she had started dating a heavy drinking and druggy kid she knows and removed all of our pictures together on social media outlets just days after the breakup. I don't feel good about this. I got to know her very well, and I loved her for a long time, but this, its not right. I am very worried about her. TL;DR:

ex-girlfriend with a history of depression seems to be rebounding in a very worrying way. What can/should I do?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Information on old Japanese child show. Please if you're Japanese read this. Noppo and Gonta できるかな Dekirukana POST: Hello reddit. There's this show called できるかな Dekirukana, featuring Noppo and Gonta. I have found LOTS of info and videos of that show, but nothing about a segment (so far I think that it was a segment of the show) fetured in the show. There were some kids on it, I'm mexican and here (Mexico) they here called Kiko, Kika, and Taro. I vaguely remember about this kids, going out playing on swings, then finding some snails due to rain before that same day and keeping them as pets, this is just one time, they did a kaleidoscope (I think) and some other crafty stuff on the show. Please reddit if you have ANY information on this segment specifically I would really appreciate it. It's been bugging me for over a year now and I can't find any info on that. A video would be greatly appreciated. TL;DR:

Info of a segment on japanese kid show called できるかな Dekirukana, about some kids doing fun stuff, one time playing with snails.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, what is the one meme you simply can not tolerate? POST: For me, Overly Attached Girlfriend is by far the dumbest thing to pass through AdviceAnimals. I really just don't see the appeal of this meme. It just feels like nothing more than the most extreme and obscure situations, in an otherwise unlikely relationship for most redditors. I'm a normal guy who has dated plenty of women and have a wonderful girlfriend who I have loved and been with since high school. I don't understand how the population of r/AdviceAnimals, who already seems like Karma-whoring side of reddit, would be able to connect with a relationship such as OAGF. I always thought r/AdviceAnimals was like reddit's single bedroom apartment for Forever Alone. Meme's used to last for months in trend and the really good ones are still around occasionally. Perhaps I'm just put off because I don't connect to the meme controlling the entire subreddit. But I don't really see how all these redditors do! I know I'm making this too big, but I feel really disconnected from the reddit "hive-mentality". I guess the point of all this is I wonder if it's really only me defecting, or if reddit is indeed showing tears in it's community. But now I'm rambling... If you could help me psychologically validate my thoughts, please tell me your least favorite meme. TL;DR:

I seriously doubt that most of reddit can relate to a Overly Attached Girlfriend... ಠ_ಠ

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I[23M] just found out my good friend [29F] was hooking up with her best friend's[28F] ex [27M] for at least a year behind her back POST: So I found out today my good friend Brittany[29F] who I have/had (I don't know anymore) feelings for was hooking up with her best friend[28F] Jen's ex Mike[28M] for at least a year behind Jen's back. All 3 of them have been best friends for years and this is a world changing discovery for me. Brittany and Mike for the most part just seemed like best friends, but looking back there are obvious signs that this was happening that I missed. Mike apparently called things off in a moment of clarity somewhat recently when he realized what he's been doing. I'm really good friends with all 3 of them and I know it would tear Jen apart to know that this happened. Since I've known all 3 of them Jen occasionally gets jealous when Mike starts to see other girls, and the fact that her best friend was hooking up with him would probably break their friendship apart. I realize my feelings for Brittany may complicate matters but I'm really torn on how to proceed. Let them continue to act like nothings happened between them? or let Jen know because this is something that feels extremely dirty and wrong. This is also leading me to question my feelings for Brittany because I thought I knew her, and this is something so contradictory to the person I thought I knew that I don't know how to feel anymore. TL;DR:

Girl I like was hooking up with her best friends ex for at least a year behind her back. Tell her best friend or just ignore it?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend [20 M] thinks I [22 F] should tell him about all of my friends personal issues (aka secrets). POST: I am a naturally personable person and have a large group of friends. Almost all of these friends come to me for advice and input on their personal issues. I would consider myself to be the main advice giver in the group. My boyfriend of two years, whom I live with, has fallen in well with my friend group and is now friends with many of them as well. When I told him about how many of them come to me for advice on their personal, and often private, problems he demanded that I tell him what they told me. When I told him that I can only tell him certain things because many of my friends confide in me and may not be comfortable with him knowing their secrets he got very upset. He thinks that I need to tell him everything they tell me because "I'm his girlfriend and I'm not allowed to keep secrets from him" I calmly explained that I never keep any of my own secrets from him and will always tell him if the information effects him directly or if my friends are okay with him knowing about it, but that I can't tell him my friends secrets if they are uncomfortable with anyone else knowing the information. He isn't satisfied with this response and still feels like I should be telling him everything they confide in me. Part of the reason I don't tell him everything is because he is more judgmental than I am and even if my friends haven't specifically said I can't tell anyone else, I don't think its fair to share information with him that he is just going to judge them for. Am I wrong for wanting to keep my friends private information from him? TL;DR:

I'm the "advice giver" of my friend group and my boyfriend demands I tell him everything people talk to me about.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [19 M] long distance GF [18] of 3 months suddenly wants space POST: I've been together with a girl for soon 3 months in a long distance relationship. We used to talk almost all the time either via text or skype. Then suddenly, around 2 weeks ago she said that she wants some space. I'm extremly anxious all the time now and can only think about why she wants space. I've even asked her what's wrong and she just says "I don't know myself, I want to find out". I can't help but feel like she has found someone else in her hometown. I haven't sent a message these last days and she has just sent me 1 snapchat, which I replied to. I'm extremely worried because I don't want to lose her. I've been depressed for a couple of years and she is the only person who actually makes me happy when we talk. I really want to make this work out. She uploads a lot of pictures to her Snapchat story but barely sends me any. The weirdest thing is that she used to be pretty clingy and then suddenly became the exact opposite. What should I do? Should I continue to give her space until she finally wants to talk to me again or should I bring up that it's an issue for me, that I feel terrible? Or should I do something else? TL;DR:

My long distance GF suddenly wanted space. She used to want to talk all the time. She doesn't say why she wants space.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with my bf of 6 months [27M]. I have breast implants, thought he could tell, but found out he hates breast implants and can't tell mine are fake. Should I tell him? POST: This happened 1 week ago but was deleted. I have had breast implants since I was 19 as a gift from my parents, theyre both in plastic surgery. I'm glad I did it but I don't want any other surgeries. Mine turned out great and natural looking but I thought it was obvious by fondling them they're not real. So a few days ago about 6 months into our relationship my boyfriend pointed out a woman's chest at the bar that was obviously done not so greatly and said, "That's gross, I hate fake tits, you're so lucky to have beautiful ones like you do". He is a very conservative guy to begin with and has a lot of beliefs like that but I really still thought he could tell. He's had a decent amount of girls before me too so he should know what breasts feel like. Should I tell him and risk ruining his opinion of me? TL;DR:

thought bf knew about my implants, but he doesnt and says he hates fake breasts. should i/how do i tell him?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/running TITLE: 5K to 10K in 6 weeks?! Please help! POST: Hi there! So here's the scoop: I am pretty new to running but I started out with a fairly good level of fitness. I am a yogi, a swimmer, I have an active job, etc. My stats are F/5'5"/129lbs if that helps. At present I can comfortably run a 5k at about 28-30 mins, depending on the route/day. I don't have any race experience but am running my first timed 5k this Saturday. I'm interested in running a 10k mid October and I'm wondering if that's realistic for me at this point. I have my eye on the <55 minute category because I'd rather be able to take my time and enjoy it. I have time to train/cross-train every day and I have great self discipline when it comes to exercise. Runners of reddit, what are your thoughts? Is this something I can try? How many times a week will I need to run? Any other tips or words of advice? Cautionary tales? I'll take anything. TL;DR:

I am a new runner, comfortably running a 5k in 30 min, wondering if I can train for a 10K in 6 weeks.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [36M] of 1 year. He has anxiety and depression and retreats when he's feeling bad. POST: My boyfriend and I have been through a rocky patch, where we had some pretty bad arguments. He suffers from depression and anxiety (has done for years) and has pretty bad panic attacks fairly frequently. Lately his anxiety has been so bad that he's avoiding anything that he sees as a potential trigger. Unfortunately, now sometime's that's me. Because of our past arguments he worries that we might argue again and trigger another panic attack. It's difficult for me because he then speaks to me less or sounds a bit 'off', and I end up worrying that he's angry with me. I am really struggling with getting him to communicate when he's struggling. This is taking a toll on both of us. I just want to get it through to him that he needs to communicate more. TL;DR:

Boyfriend has anxiety, some of it because of me. Am doing my best to support him, what can I do to get him to communicate more?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [17M] talking to [16F] , Where texting about her problem today "It doesn't matter goodnight" is she mad or does she not care to explain more into? POST: *Some background information* Okay so i have know this girl for three years recently I have grown an attraction for her. She had liked all three years we know each other but I didn't like her in till now. I got her to be a wrestling manager. I am wrestler that's why. *The main story* She goes and vents to me that she is getting scolded for talking to wrestlers during practice. That how it only makes her want to talk to do it more. * I get this part* Then later she was saying how she took the coach's boys for a photo shoot . I wasn't sure because if she meant a wrestler or the coach's actual kids -his sons are on the middle school team-. I just guessed and said so you took Jake and his little brother. She then replies with "It doesn't matter Goodnight" Now I am just trying to figure out if she is mad or just doesn't want to talk about it. Reddit Please help me. TL;DR:

Texting girl that I liked talk about her problem today and ask a question she says "it doesn't matter Goodnight". Need help to find out what that means.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (f/23) mother (f/56) is dying of moderate-late stage alzheimers and my boyfriend (m/28) doesn't understand the stress. POST: My mother was diagnosed with early onset dementia 5 years ago, she exhibited symptoms years before that in her mid to late forties. My father (53), sister (29) and I have all banded together the past 4 years to rotate caregiving. It's becoming too much as her disease progresses and we have moved forward with placing her in a memory care facility the first week in May. Nothing is changing right now one of us always has to be with her. On top of this we have a family business and we juggle all these things and different roles each day. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years, he sees my mother and understands her condition but what he doesn't see is the tremendous stress and guilt I am constantly under. I feel distracted, my libido is suffering, I feel depressed, crabby and irritated. I don't feel like myself. I feel like I've been grieving my mother for 10 years and she's still here and alive. When my boyfriend prompts me for how I'm feeling I tell him all these things and he replies "I don't understand what your stressed about, I don't have stress so I don't know you feel. I don't know what to say." He makes it sound like I have a choice to be stressed about my situation or not. I know he's worried about me, he calls my dad alot to talk and tell him he is concerned. We are all worried about each other. What will our life look like after May? Sometimes I think it'll feel like freedom other times I think how can I live my life enjoyably knowing she's stuck in a place like that. Any advice on how I can better explain to my boyfriend how this is affecting me? Or how it feels when a loved one is living in a home? TL;DR:

Mother is dying and moving to assisted living , my boyfriend doesn't understand why I'm stressed all the time. I worry what my life will look life after its all done.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Started seeing a girl [21] and all of a sudden its gone [m21] POST: I met a girl in one of my classes, and she had everything: she was nerdy, loved the outdoors, was witty, and was quite good looking. We hit it off for the first couple of classes (ours met once a week), and had quite a bit of time to talk during the course of class, as it was an outdoors one. We started to hang out on our own one night when class was canceled, and things escalated quickly (3 weeks ago). We started seeing each other every day, and did normal couple stuff - hikes, lunches, drinking, sex, etc. We'd even kiss goodbye in public. Fast forward to last week. Her tone started to change in text messages, and I started to feel like I was bothering her just to ask if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. We grabbed lunch a few times, but then I went away for a weekend trip, and didn't get to see her until 2 days ago. We met in our shared class as usual, but our interaction seemed a bit forced, and a bit awkward. Did we(or just I) jump into things too quickly? Should I just relax, and take it easy? I feel like if I don't do something, we'll never get to the point where we could have something between the two of us. Maybe it just isn't meant to be, but she is awesome, and I'd hate to lose her over something stupid. Also, I feel kind of bad posting this here, reading about everyone else's long relationship issues, but I'd just like some advice. TL;DR:

Jumped into something w/ a girl from class, it seemed to be going well but then it just disappeared. Not sure how to act.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: [advice + progresspic] My experience so far (SW:195lbs CW:159 GW:160) POST: Hello fellow losers. Let me start by saying until i started dieting *properly* in July, I had been trying to lose weight pretty much since I was 13 (I'm 20 now). Every attempt up until now had failed horribly, and actually probably resulted in me gaining weight. I know 195lbs doesn't sound too bad, but for my height, it is very overweight - nearly obese in terms of BMI. This is the difference in my face from July - January. What really made a difference for me in my journey this time around, was educating myself properly on diet. By that I don't mean reading about the best types of diets and success stories, I mean learning about what your body does with the calories, carbs, fats, sugars, proteins, etc. that it consumes. From this I critically evaluated, how is my diet in comparison to this model? This is when I realised where I had been going wrong, although my general diet wasn't too unhealthy, I was WAY over doing my sugar intake, in terms of cups of tea alone (2 sugars in each cup) I was probably over on my recommended sugar intake, and on top of that were sweets and fizzy drinks (I didn't drink/eat loads of these tbh). Once I knew sugar was my main issue (I actually think I was addicted), it was very easy for me to lose weight. I lost 35lbs in pretty much 4 months and it didn't really feel like I had to do much. Weighing myself everyday was essential too, it meant that I could physically track my progress on a smaller scale and setting small goals. I believe seeing your progress is enough motivation to keep you going. TL;DR:

Why are you fat? What type of food/drink are you consuming that contributes? Do the research! Evaluate yourself.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining TITLE: [Help] Older rescue with general anxiety/neurotic behavior. POST: New to this sub, thanks in advance for any help. Nora is a medium sized mixed breed rescue, she's roughly 8 years old and I've had her for about 7 years. She was abandoned and had terrible separation anxiety, which she no longer has issues with. She has been a great dog. She is well behaved in the house, gentle, and very responsive. However, she still suffers from general anxiety and neurotic behavior. She will often exhibit obsessive behavior such as licking, "nibbling" on her blanket or bed, and barking. Sometimes she can work herself up to the point where she seems out of control; her heart rate gets high and she barks obsessively. I've learned to live with it and mitigate it as much as possible. I can rub her belly and speak softly to her and that helps. It also seems to help if I make her do some easy tricks like "sit" and "lay down," it seems as if it helps her gain a little control over herself. I know this is generally frowned upon, but I experimented with a shock collar for barking. It actually seemed very helpful, she didn't seem frightened and it seemed to prevent her from working herself up into a frenzy. I was living in an apartment at that time and the barking was a major issue. I recently moved into the country so I haven't been using the collar. Exercise helps, but doesn't completely solve the problem. Her anxiety is at its worst at the dog park; she is much more comfortable around people than other dogs. About a year ago I rescued a second dog (a young pitbull), and that has helped her social anxiety a bit. The first few months were a little rough, but now they cuddle and groom each other regularly. Overall, she seems like a very happy dog, but I know the anxious episodes can't be fun for her. Now that she is getting older I worry about her heart, and to top it off she has a genetic heart murmur. Any advice? TL;DR:

Dog exhibits anxious and nervous behavior. We have made some big progress, but she still has doggie panic attacks fairly regularly. Any advice or tips would be much appreciated.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (24F) have a higher sex drive than my partner (30M) of two and a half years. POST: I have known that my partner and I have had mismatched sex drives for about two years now. As soon as the "honeymoon" period was over. We have discussed it; we have argued; we have hurt each other by our frustrations with it, more so my frustrations with it, and today we still have no resolution. We love each other deeply and my needs are met in every other way, but in the boudoir. I don't want to hurt him by bringing it up all the time because, I know I have in the past. He has tried so many times to explain to me why he can't get into the mood as easily as I can and I try to accept it, but the truth is that I end up going to bed angry and frustrated. I feel so frustrated! I have tried to "please" myself, but it isn't the same. When we do have sex it has become repetitive and routine. It has to be in the weekend, roughly 3 times a month and its mostly the same positions. It is rare that I am satisfied. I don't want anyone else. We have had some amazing times together and more than that we have an amazing partnership. He is my best friend, he takes care of me and he has his quirks that I am desperately attracted to. I feel like I've come to a halt here. I don't know how else to approach this topic with him. I want more excitement and more passion. Furthermore, I want the both of us to want that. TL;DR:

How do I approach my boyfriend about wanting more passion in our sex life and more sex without hurting him by bringing up an old issue?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 F] with my BF [22 M] 1 yr, BF's rabbi won't shake hands with women and it really bothers me POST: Quick backstory-- my boyfriend of +1yr is Jewish, but not super religious. He attends Jewish holiday celebrations held at the home of our campus' rabbi. The rabbi is Orthodox-- his wife covers her head with a wig/dresses modestly and he doesn't shake hands with women. As a feminist, the whole not-shaking-hands thing really pisses me off. And the best thing? HE'S OUR NEW NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. He's super welcoming and always gathers students in his home. I avoided having to meet him today (I called my mom and literally walked away from the conversation) but sooner or later I'm sure I'll run into him. My boyfriend says it's just a religious thing that has nothing to do with sexism, but I feel very angry about this. Overall, I don't even want to speak to the rabbi. Any people out there more educate on Judaism who can tell me if this is sexist?? Am I in the wrong here or is it okay that I feel insulted?? TL;DR:

boyfriend's rabbi won't shake hands with women- is this sexist? Am I wrong in not wanting to meet him or do I need to just get over it

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: 25/m Feeling like I'm losing the "chase" with 23/f - Compiling a rules set for myself - Any advice? POST: 25/m Been dating 23/f for 3 months including lot's time with her family. We kicked it off so well the first month. Her family loves me we haven't squabbled about a single thing and have genuinely appreciated each other's company through this time. Thanksgiving came and things got physical between us fast. She isn't the friends with benefits kind of girl, but the heat was turned way up and the development of "relationship" has grown stagnant in it's place. The last week has been this weird hell where we don't think the relationship is at a point of "love" but all physical indicators would otherwise say so and I have been struggling to somehow play catch-up for the things we never sorted out between us. This "catch-up" has turned me into the one doing the chasing. She acts different when I'm with her, she rarely communicates with me unless I am trying to arrange dinner or something and the time I get to be with her has become noticeably less than ever. Within these few days chasing has become so incredibly destructive that I need to take some desperate measures if I hope to save this. I came up with a set of rules for myself that **I will** follow. If I do not follow them, I am certain of the ends of this relationship. Stop texting her more than she texts me Always end the conversation **Have fun** **Stop worrying** Does anyone have any good, simple, black and white rules to add to this? Does anyone have any advice on how to lean back into sorting the personal "relationship" part back out without becoming too clingy? This is also something I will only do in person, face to face. And... Has anyone else out there lost the "chase" and recovered it? I'd love to hear your story. I really could use some hope. Thanks! TL;DR:

Got caught in the passion trap and lost touch with developing a lasting relationship. Trying too hard to re-initiate that development and now I am chasing her and she isn't chasing me. Need to do something about it fast.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Okay Reddit were all relatively anonymous here! When/where is the most embarrassing time you've shit yourself as an adult/teen and either magically got away with it....or didn't. POST: Let me start with a stinky old tale. On a camping trip in the absolute middle of nowhere (remote island of north of Malaysia). Me and a Bunch of friends from school sharing a tent and naturally we had to poop in the jungle after digging a hole. One day I was hit by the stomach cramps of doom and I had no choice but to take a dump during the day. Unfortunately the jungle was not massively thick and just as I began to part with my Siamese twin of a poo somebody shouted 'HEY ARE YOU SHITTING!? HAHAH' I immediately pulled my shorts up and shouted NO! Back. Unfortunately I was and... I still was. I had no option but to hide the poo pants in my tent as nightfall was my only time to dispose of them. Unfortunately the next day they were discovered and all my friends in the tent were screaming AHHH SOMEONE SHIT THEMSELVES!!! Naturally I decided to scream that too thinking it would absolve me as a suspect. Everyone denied that they were the owners of my stinky poo pants naturally... So I decided to get each one of my 3 friends separately during the day and told them all the same story. 'Dude we shouldn't tell anyone about this because 'he' (i actually chose the guy who discovered my poo pants) definitely is the guy who shat himself.. I know. So lets just leave him alone okay? He seems really upset about it, he told me not to tell anyone' They all agreed and i got away as the phantom pooper. TL;DR:

shat myself, hid undies unsuccessfully, played all my fellow tent friends off against each other and got away with it.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20F], My boyfriend [20M] has a lot of friends who hang out at our place, I don't POST: I [20 F] live with my boyfriend [20 M] of 10 months. We are both attending university. He has high school and college friends who visit regularly. I like all of his friends and join their conversations, etc., but always in a subpar way. I feel like a third or sixth wheel, depending on how many people are over. I even made a new friend this past semester (French exchange student) and invited him over. He now comes over regularly, but even he is now more my boyfriend's friend than mine. My best friend lives two hours away and I only see her once or twice over school breaks. I have friends from classes and my job (tutoring) but no one who would come over if I asked them to hang out. I feel like I am mooching off of my boyfriend's friends for social interaction, and while they are all nice and I like them, they wouldn't consider me a good friend. I have no problem making friends. I have a problem making good friends who are interesting and who are interested in me. I am surrounded by people and am very lonely. I don't know what to do about this. **I am not resentful of my boyfriend for this. I want help with the friends issue. My romantic relationship is fine. TL;DR:

I feel like I'm mooching off of my boyfriend's social interactions. I have friends, but no good friends. What am I supposed to do?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, should I give a piece of my mind to a girl that has told a rather immature lie to a co-worker of mine? POST: First, some back story. I recently studied abroad, and during the course of this trip I got quite close to one girl in particular. She has a boyfriend, but this did not stop her from being more than receptive to my advances. During one of our many conversations, she basically told me that she had fantasized about a scenario in which she was single and could do what she wanted with me. I'm a decent guy, I'm not a slimy bastard. As the trip progressed, we had more and more interactions where got closer and closer. We eventually made out. Then we discussed what would happened when we got to the states. I said that we should probably call it quits and just forget about it. I knew that chances of going out with her were unrealistic. She asked whether we could give it a shot as friends in the states. I didn't want to, but I eventually agreed. Now we're back in the states, and like I predicted it didn't work out. We tried hanging out a couple of times, but it was awkward and kind of tense whenever we did. It all culminated in a date to the movies. After that she completely shut down. She disappeared. She stopped texting me, and she stopped responding to my texts. Finally, I got her to come to my place to talk about it. After a while, I told her that I was personally calling it quits. I couldn't do it anymore. I'm not the other guy. She agreed and apologized. Today, a co-worker of mine told me that she knows my former love interest. Apparently, she is telling people that I was hounding her during the summer, and she had clearly told me that she was not interested. My dilemma here is that I do not appreciate that she is painting me to be some kind of desperate, or pathetic guy who begged for her attention. My first reaction was to write her an email asking her to stop lying about what occurred. Should I do it? TL;DR:

I had a fling with a girl during the summer, and now she's going around telling people that I was hounding her for attention. Want to give her a piece of my mind. Politely.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26 M] caught my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 months with another guy a couple weeks ago POST: It's been 2 weeks and I'm still hurting. This is the first girl after my really traumatizing breakup with last ex to make me feel like not every girl is out to break my heart. I know for a fact that she is with him now and all that she said to me meant nothing. It hurts more than it should. I've heard all the typical advice like, "you'll find someone else", "she was just young and doesn't know what she wants", "she'll do it to him too", and "you deserve better". I'm thinking that because I am getting older that I'm just looking for something serious and she wasn't. I just need advice on how to really get her out of my mind. I've put myself out there for a rebound but I just can't sleep with another person so quickly like she could. How do I begin to move on and have hope in females again with this continuously happening? I know I'm not perfect and probably came off too strong to her but she chose a guy that is very unattractive and his personality was only appealing to her. TL;DR:

Caught my short term girlfriend with another guy and am still having trouble getting over her. especially knowing that they are together right now

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, what would be the appropriate payback. POST: My wife and I are in the process of selling our condo and buying a house. Everything has been going really well with the purchase of the house, but the lady buying our condo have been trying to scam us for every dime she can. First, she asked for quite a bit of money off of our price, and she wants money towards closing costs (this I know is totally valid in this economy). Then she has an inspection on the condo and expects us to drop the price by 100% of the cost to repair the "old" furnace and AC, both of which still work fine. She's also done a couple of other things where she has tried to bleed us for even more money. We really want to sell, and as much of a battle as this has been, we're forced to comply with a lot of shit. Now we want to do something really passive-aggressive to make us feel better. What does Reddit suggest? TL;DR:

Selfish bitch wants every last dime off the price of our condo, and we want payback. What should we do?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [F 20] got left behind by my [25 M] boyfriend's family when they went to go to a cabin this weekend. POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and are in a good solid part of our relationship. Recently I have been having internal conflict about if I should address it to him or not. Here is a summary. His family has a cabin 45 minutes away from his home. I don't have a car so he usually picks me up (he knew this going into the relationship). His family (mother, father, and sister) were going to spend labor day weekend at their cabin. He has contiously asked me if I want to go. I have said yes multiple times. However, he found out earlier this week he wasn't sure if his sister wanted me at the cabin. I had told him if she doesn't want me there, I'm okay with that. I can always go another time. He told me his mom wanted to leave by 2pm to go to the cabin. I told him I think I will be able to make it I have a class during that time. Around 12 I mention I might be coming out of class late and I will call him when I get out so he isn't waiting on me. I later check my phone after my lab/class and see multiple calls and texts with the last one saying "Sorry I have to go". I'm annoyed and was bummed. However I spent my friday hanging out with my suitemate and roommate. Should I ask him to spend more time alone? I don't want to be left behind again but don't want to schedule my whole life around him and his family. Should I break up with him? Do I need to talk to him about my feelings? TL;DR:

Boyfriend leaves me behind to go on a trip with family. Should I bring up my annoyance with the issue or let it slide?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: She wants me to wait for her. Am I being stupid? POST: Hey reddit, So here's the deal. I really like this girl and she says she likes me back. We talk and txt all the time and we have gone on a couple simple "dates" to the caf for lunch and dinner. (I'm in college btw) But anyhow, the problem is that she is currently in a relationship with another guy. She met him when she got to school, (shes a freshman I'm a sophomore) and they have been sorta together since then. He doesn't ever take her on dates or eat dinner with her or basically try to make any time for her other than being at a party. She told me the other day that she knows he is wrong for her and that I am right for her. But the thing is, she says she is afraid to break up with him because she has been with him since she came to school. She tells me it is just "a matter of time" and that she just needs "to get over the attachment" that she has to him. I really really like this girl and I think I understand what she is going through but I really wanted to know what you guys think. Am I being stupid by trying to wait for this girl and its never going to happen or does it make sense that she is just working up the courage to end it? TL;DR:

I like a girl who has a lame boyfriend, she likes me back, she hasn't ended it with him. What do I do?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My[23f] boyfriends[24m] coworkers got a prostitute POST: Sorry about the name, I used a friends old throwaway Over the weekend my boyfriend went out with some coworkers of his. He only started working with them about a month ago, and this was the first time they went out together. He is away in another city for an internship this summer. Everything has been great with us, I was really feeling like I was trusting him and feeling secure even though he is away, but then this happened. I don't think he thought it was funny or anything, but the way he told me seemed rather casual. He said he thought it was pretty weird because the woman literally approached them on the street while they were waiting for the train. I told him I thought the whole thing sounded disgusting and that she probably had a pimp who controlled her life. (I know, sort of cliche, but I this was after he said that he thought the girl worked alone, felt the need to tell him the chance of that was basically zero.) I'm happy he was honest and told me about it, but I'm left feeling a pit in my stomach. Like these are the people he is going to be with the rest of the summer? Should I just let it go and he happy he was honest or take this as a show of his character? When I told my friends they said he was a creep for even being there when it all happened, and with how he was pretty casual about it. TL;DR:

my boyfriend went out with coworkers and said coworkers got a prostitute. Sort of creeped out over the whole thing. He was honest but was his attitude about it a red flag?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: Am I [17 M] Shooting Myself in the Foot by Quitting My Job? POST: I've been working the same retail job for about a year now. It was fine at first but since we got new supervisors 5ish months ago I've began to hate it. I really want to quit, but I'm worried about not having an income. I wanted to max my Roth IRA this year but I won't be able to if I quit because I won't have 5k in earned income. Or maybe I should just not bother because I will be taking out student loans in the next 1-2 years.. The other thing is I'm starting university in September and since I'm an engineering major I don't even know if I'll have time to work. This job is making me miserable but I want to be smart with my money and cutting off my income just worries me. My parents will help me pay for the things I need but I still don't know what to do. Any thoughts ? TL;DR:

I hate my retail job and want to quit, but I don't want to miss out on all that sweet compound interest w/ a Roth IRA.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Boyfriend (30M) and I (21F) just broke up, bought a plane ticket for his best friends wedding, should I forget it or go? POST: My boyfriend of a year and I mutually decided it was time to split. Last week I purchased a $500 non-refundable plane ticket to his best friends wedding. I'm not in the position to throw $500 around like that, and the airlines have been of no help to reimburse me. I have decided of course that I will not be attending the wedding. However, I haven't traveled much and wonder if I should just make the best out of it and go solo? We would be on the same departing and returning flights though. Is that weird? Or should I just cut my losses emotionally and financially? TL;DR:

bought an expensive plane ticket with now ex-bf, wondering if I should go and have a solo trip and experience something new, or forget about it all together?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [21 M] am having a hard time giving my girlfriend [21 F] the space she needs on our break. POST: Hi. So my girlfriend and I both have recently moved apart for the summer, She is 6 hours away for an internship, and I am home for the summer working and taking classes. We have been dating 3 years, but we started dating the first month of college and both have little dating experience. We were also each others first (not something that particularly matters to either of us anyway). After recently turning 21, she told me that she needed some space apart this summer to try and discover herself a little more and feel some independence. Now, during school we are a pretty clingy couple and spent a majority of our time together. We have both expressed the last year that we're interested in taking it further after college (marriage), and our families have flat out said they'd like to see us engaged. I think the main issues is her not so much just wanting to experiment with other guys, but a fear that she is just dependent on me because she is afraid of being alone. I have a feeling that if I give her the space she needs, she will most likely come back to me. We are both really heavily invested in each other and I think she just needs to see that when she's away from me she'll realize just how truly important we are to one another. The problem is, I can't help but smother her with texts and calls. I don't like feeling jealous, but it would hurt my feelings if she was messing around with other guys. I know she would hold no grudge if I did the same since we're on break, but I am having trouble shaking my jealousy issues. I know that if I can accept the temporary break, she'll come back to me and we'll be stronger than ever. We have both done stupid things in the past (we've both made out with other people and done some flirting), but we always move past it because deep down we're both pretty in love. How can I get myself to accept this as the best solution? Thanks. I've just been struggling with it all and it feels good to talk about it. TL;DR:

Girlfriend of three years and I are apart for the summer. She wants to go on break to make sure she can stand on her own and isn't completely dependent. I'm having trouble letting her go

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Considering studying Economics undergraduate. Are prospects good, or will I end up waiting your table? POST: I'm 1 year away from writing my IB exams (Maths & Physics on HL) and enrolling to college. I am changing my mind about the major probably about once a week, and damn, I'm confused. Currently my plan consists of picking Economics, but I have no idea whether prospects are good after taking it. I consider myself a rather enterpreneurial *(worst word ever)*, but will I actually learn useful stuff? What do people usually do afterwards? Before Economics I considered Engineering, but having a hard time understanding even the most basic concepts in Physics, so will probably pass on that. In Reddit I trust. TL;DR:

One year away from going to college, considering Economics. Is it worth it, money-wise? Will I learn useful stuff?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU my butthole POST: this happened two years ago. so,i was having a shower and remembered a video in a "site" that was about a guy fingering his butthole so,i said "imma try it out" then i couldn't,too tight,so i didnt have lube,so i saw a shampoo or hair conditioner that said "extraordinary oil"so i said "oil can be used as lube,so i put some in my middle finger,and put it in,"it worked!!" i thought,and that l was followed by tremendous pain,like my butthole was on fucking fire,so i got my finger out but it stil really hurt,so i got on all fours and tried to make the cold water get in there so i'll feel better,it didnt do shit,"it still hurts"i thought,so as i was getting up the faucet FUCKING PENETRATED MY FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! i slowly got it out but the pain was unbelievable,i screamed for 10 minutes while cold water was raining down on me,after that i finished showering with tears in my eyes and then after like 20 mins i had to take a 2 foot long shit.it didnt end well for me :(.my butthole will never l be the same TL;DR:

put shampoo in my butt,it hurt like fuck,tried to make it better by a faucet in my shitter,i cried on the floor,then shat a log that's two foot four

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I(16/M) need help from experienced people. stuck between 2 girls POST: I know i am very young and to older people it may seem obvious to people with more experience but thats why im here. 2 weeks ago i broke up with my girlfriend (16/f) of 11 months for someone else but i will just refer to her as girl B(15/f). i talked to her for a long time and ive always been her friend and weve always talked about our problems but she started to like me and i started to like her. the smart thing to do would have been to realize where this was heading but i did not. she really kinda pressured me into breaking up with my girl friend who i cared very much about and i still do. and thats my problem. the more time goes by i start to miss my ex more and more and like Girl B less and less. she told me she misses me to but doesnt know if she wants to get back together because i hurt her very bad and she has seen me around school with girl B and people have told her ive been talking to girl B for a long time. obviously this upset her. i miss her alot and not a day goes by where i dont think about her. shes the only person ive really been able to be myself around and without her i feel really useless and empty and like life has no meaning. even soccer which is like my life has become unsatisfying.i want her back but Girl B really wants to date and i dont want to hurt feelings. im stuck. all serious comments are appreciated! this is the shortened version of my story but id really appreciate some good advice. TL;DR:

dont know what to do stuck between my ex who i still have feelings for and my friend who is awesome but idk if i can get past my feelings for my ex.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me (25 f) with my GF (26 f) of 5 years. Going to sleep at night I doubt our relationship but every morning wake up totally happy and in love. POST: Typed on mobile, please forgive formatting and spelling errors! My girlfriends name is Jessica and we just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. We have been talking about marriage for a while now but I have always been the more hesitant one and Jessica knows this. I just felt too young. She on the other hand would get married in a heart beat. Sometimes I feel that way too. For a few months I'll go marriage crazy, looking at rings, pinning wedding stuff on Pintrest, talking with Jessica about it all. Evetitably after all that I will do a 180 and feel unsure about getting married and feel that way for a few month and the cycle continues. The marriage stuff seems to be a macrocosm of the day to day feelings I have. Like the title says, throughout the day I'm happy, and very lovey about Jessica. Then we go to sleep at night and her snoring keeps me up and I can't stop myself from thinking only negative things about our relationship. Sometimes convincing myself we should break up. Then I wake up the next morning and don't hold those feelings anymore. This is my first ever serious relationship. I don't know if these feelings are normal. Is this what people experience before they decide to break up? Am I just being scared of commitment? We are very co-dependent as well. Maybe it's a mental health thing on my end, I don't know. The snoring really annoys me and maybe it's just putting bad feelings in my head while I can't sleep from it? I guess I should note that I've always had depressed feelings at night while I try to sleep. In high school I would sometimes cry myself to sleep thinking about my parents divorce even though that happened when I was in 1st grade. I have been able to brush off the break up thoughts I feel at night as just being part of the irrational depressed thoughts I have at night. TL;DR:

I cycle through completely opposing feelings towards my girlfriend. All day I feel happy and content, at night I can only think about the bad things and wanting to end it.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What do i want for my birthday? POST: Long time lurker, spend more time reading than anything. My girlfriend of a year and her family, as well as my own family, has asked me constantly this week what I want for my birthday (June 3). When I tell them I dont know, I really mean I have no clue. I'm your average (going to be)28 year old guy, gf, full time job, part time job, drives an average car, is a techy gadget person, but I buy all the things I want/need. Any thing maybe out of the ordinary that i should be 'asking' for for my birthday? TL;DR:

My bday is coming up, dont know what to tell people I want when they ask me what to get me.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21] M with my "friend" [20 M] who thinks I'm his best friend-- but I don't like him & avoid him POST: I'm going to talk about my "friend" – let's call him Michael – how I want to avoid but I'm not sure how. We used to be good friends when we first met, and we were friends for a year. However, I'm not sure if he changed or I just got to know him more, but as time went on, I felt like he was more and more of a person that made me feel uncomfortable. Michael never really listens to me and is always concerned with saying what he wants to say. When I was going through a tough time, I told him about it; however, it just ended up that he told me to brush it off and started to talk about he's been able to achieve. I've talked to him about putting words in other peoples' mouths and not really listening to others, but he's also super defensive and thinks his opinions are the end-all-be-all. So at this point, I'm trying to avoid Michael, but he still makes a lot of effort to call me his "best friend." I live really close to him so it's a little bit difficult to avoid him, and I don't know what to tell him when he calls me his best friend – when obviously I don't feel the same. TL;DR:

My "friend" is a person who never really listens to people and I want to get avoid him. However, he still calls me his "best friend" and I don't know how to respond

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Wife (31F) says I (32M) don't have any dreams or goals for my life, and she is ready for divorce. How can I change? POST: My wife and I have been together for 12 years (married for 4), and now she is saying she is seriously considering divorce because I don't support her in her life and career goals. She hypothesizes that I don't support her because I don't have any real dream or unifying goal for my life. The things I do have goals for have to do with fitness (I go to the gym 5 days a week), financial (I am debt free for the first time in 8 years), educational (I'm teaching myself spanish), but she says that none of those things are a dream, just small goals or hobbies. I wish I had an answer to the question "what dream do you have for your life?", however, there are a lot of people I know who I respect a lot that don't have a unifying goal for their existence, and I still consider them successful. Maybe not Richard Branson successful, but I feel like they lead happy lives. I know I don't have a ton of context here, but the guts of it is that if I don't develop a dream or goal for my existence, I'm pretty sure my wife will end our marriage. How does one even go about doing that? She keeps asking me questions like "how do you not just know this already?". I don't know how to fix this, or even if I should, because I feel like she's asking me to be someone I'm not, in a way that won't make me happy. On the other hand, wouldn't having a goal for my life make me happier? I am usually pretty content with myself and my life, but would it get better? TL;DR:

My wife says I need to have a dream or goal for my life so I am motivated by something other than the fear of losing what I have. She wants to leave.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Does the TSA put everyone through the full-body scanners? POST: I'm flying tomorrow, and it's been a long while since I've been to the airport. Last time I flew they just randomly selected people to put through the scanner, but from the stuff I've been reading lately it sounds like EVERYONE is going through the full-body scanner or they elect out for the pat downs. I'm a little freaked out because I do not want the radiation/ picture of my naked body gawked at by thugs, nor do I want to be groped in front of an entire fucking airport. I was also planning on wearing a long skirt, but now I'm thinking I should just wear shorts so they don't have even more of an excuse to think I'm hiding something. I used to love flying, and now I'm just freaking out. :/ Fuck TSA. TL;DR:

Has the TSA replaced all the metal detectors with full-body scanners, and how have your experiences been with airport security?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: $6,000 was taken from us in 2010. Is there anything I could do? POST: Okay well, I dont know many details, so Im apologizing in advance. Back in 2010 we were expecting near $6,000 for our tax refund. We really needed the money, but were surprised when we got only around $700. We were in a tough situation with our bills, and the money kind of helped. Anyway recently we looked into it. The IRS said that we got the money, but we didnt, after arguing for a bit we took it up with Liberty Mutual. They said that we would have to talk to their bank, and they just give us whatever the bank issues us. We called the bank and they said they never issued our check, and they still have our money. This was GREAT news because recently weve been living paycheck to paycheck. Well, now theyre telling us that we DID get the money, and that the checked was cashed. Weve been looking up and down for our tax refund papers from 2010 and have had no luck. Is there anything we could do about this?(I dont know much detail because Im the 16 year old son, I thought maybe Reddit could help) Thanks! TL;DR:

Bank said they had our tax refund money from 3 years ago, then took it back and said we recieved the money and the check was issued and cashed. Now I dont know what to do.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 3 months are having trouble getting her religious parents to accept me. POST: Hello all, using a throwaway account to get some information/advise. I am a very non-religious person who was of course raised into Islam. She is a somewhat conservative Christian but her parents are very conservative on the topic. Since she is in town for school and they are in another state, I have not yet had the chance to get to know them or even speak with them overall. At first I wast told that they are pretty supportive, but now we are on very thin ice because she doesn't want to hurt me but then again doesn't want to feel like she is disrespecting them. I don't want to just sit around and hope for the best either. I want to help them understand that I will not get in the way of her faith. TL;DR:

My girlfriend's parents are religious, i'm not. I don't know what to do in order to get their assurance.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Should you plan your career and wait for opportunities that align with it, or take great opportunities as they come, even if they're not in the direction you forsaw? POST: I'm a civil engineer-in-training. I decided a few months ago I was going to try to develop a career in X. Or then, maybe I just wasn't happy where I was at the time. I quit my job, sought out all the opportunities in that area, and some of them look bright...but things are moving very slowly in general right now. Recently I've been sought out by a local organization. They're public so amazing benefits, very secure, etc. They want me to fill a new position they're putting together because I came very highly recommended by my former employer. The problem? Not civil engineering -- not even close. I've been out of school for a few years now and the longer I'm out of the engineering realm, the harder it is for me to get back into it. Still, it's a very attractive opportunity. The position is largely undefined and part of my role would be to develop it as I see fit. So then. How does one become successful? Should you map out where you want to go and stick with it? Bypass opportunities that don't align and wait for something to come up so you can gradually take yourself through a steady career development? Or do you take things as they come and hope for the best? TL;DR:

An opportunity came up that will take me in a very different direction than what I studied/planned for. Do I pursue it?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [25 M] and an ex of mine [19 F] recently got back in touch, I want this girl bad. POST: Not even going to lie, I'm afraid I'm getting oneitus with this chick. She's an old girlfriend of mine, we saw each other a few years ago only for a week or two, we both immediately hit it off and I liked her a lot but then I found out I was a few years older than her, so I broke it off. It's been a few years since I've seen her, saw her at my college the other day and got her number. Texted a few times, asked her to be my valentine, haha, and met up with her Sunday for coffee and gave her some flowers. We talked for a bit, and I'm desperately trying not to get too attached too fast, she's incredibly intelligent, we have the same views on a bunch of different ideals, I feel comfortable around her, **I want this girl, bad**. I have 2 questions. 1. I haven't dated in a while, so I'm super hesitant about what to do. I'm pretty sure she likes me or is interested, so that takes a little pressure off, but should I just ask her out to the movies sometime soon? Buy her dinner? Should I refrain from texting her everyday? 2. I have three months to see if we can hit it off. I graduate then, so after that, I might move out of state. I feel an incredible amount of pressure to see if she'd like to be my girlfriend before then. Honestly, I would stay in town and just go to college here if we ended up being together, she's *that* special to me, and I think she's worth it, she's truly one in a million. How do I balance my future when suddenly everything could change? Should I just see how things progress, and if we end up together, stay in town/not even mention that I was considering moving? TL;DR:

Ran into an old ex of mine that I'm already crazy about, trying hard not to focus on her too much but DAMN I want her, bad.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Defaulted student loans, Department of Education is taking money out of my paychecks. How do I get myself out of this hole I've dug? Where do I start? POST: So after going to college and living on my own I started to have really serious problems with depression and anxiety for the first time in my life, and I did not deal with it well. I am starting to recover my mental health due to health care being provided by my job, however I dropped out of college three years ago and I have never done anything about my student loans. It has become such a point of anxiety for me that reaching out for help, even if it is to strangers on the internet who probably won't read this anyway, is insanely painful and embarrassing. However, the only way I can relieve myself of this last demon is to just start digging myself out of this hole, so that is what I'm trying to do. Problem is I have absolutely no idea where to start. On August 13th the DOE sent me a letter informing me that they intended to start collecting my defaulted loans by Treasury offset, and said that if I acted within a certain amount of time I could avoid offset by calling them and setting up satisfactory arrangements to repay my debt. Of course, I never did that, I let them start taking money out of my paychecks (a little over 10%, which is like $180 a month) and I've just been living poverty-style since then. So should I still call them? Is it going to be too late? Should I talk to a lawyer? Am I going to be in trouble with the law? I just really have no idea where to start. TL;DR:

$12k in defaulted student loans, DOE is taking money out of my paychecks and debt collectors are calling me every day. Ready to turn my financial life around but where do I start?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19M] and Girlfriend [19F] just ended a 3 year relationship. do you think she'll eventually miss me and come back? POST: to keep this as short as possible. we dated for 3 years, and lived together for 1. our lease is almost up and money issues started to cause problems. we have "broken up" (more like just separated for a few days) about 3 or 4 times, each time it turns into a pretty vulgar screaming match, and then one of us goes and stays with a freind for a few days, then we forgive each other and continue on. usually we say some really not-so-nice things to each other during these disputes, and at the end of it we talk it out and admit that we didn't actually mean it and we were just upset. this time, she kicked me out of our house because of money issues, but it doesnt look like its going to pan out like it usually does. its been 2 weeks now and everytime i try and talk about things with her it ends up horrible. Im upset at this situation, im sad that this is the way it is, and im not sure what to do. im having a hard time grasping the fact that this could legitimately be the end. my big question is: do you think she'll eventually calm down and at least let me plead my case and possibly work this out? or do you think its time i just let go? TL;DR:

girlfriend and i got in fight worse than usually and she left me. will she eventually miss me and let me talk it out with her?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: Paying Off 7.21% Loans vs. Borrowing Less at 6.84% Next Semester POST: Hi all, long time reader but first time user here. Feel free to direct me to a different thread if this has already been covered, but I couldn't find anything. My boyfriend is going into his third year of law school (current loan balance = absurd, interest rate = 7.21%) and has been using his summer associate money to pay off that balance. However, I wanted to make sure that he shouldn't be saving that money so he can borrow less for the upcoming year instead. Though the 2015-16 interest rate is dropping to 6.84%, the origination fee is 4.29%. He will have an additional $12,000 to put toward loans by the end of the summer. What should he do? TL;DR:

Would you rather pay off old loans with 7.21% interest and borrow that money at 6.84% with a 4.29% origination fee <OR> keep the old loans and borrow less at the new rate?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by having phone sex with my mom. POST: Background: I'm a 20 year old woman. I live with my parents. I'm also a phone sex operator. I specifically do female domination phone calls, which includes all sorts of kinky stuff like verbal humiliation and punishment and making the guy on the other end of the phone do terrible things to himself. Yes, not only do they consent but they pay for me to tell them to punch themselves in the balls. So today I'm taking calls. On the website I use, they route your calls to your cell phone. The caller never sees your real cell number, just the 1-800 number on your profile. I'm in the middle of a call, and this guy wants me to direct a CBT session. CBT = cock and ball torture. I've been on the phone with him for about half an hour now and the CBT has progressed from some punching/squeezing to he's now sticking sterilized medical needles in his cock and balls. As I'm telling him what to do, I do the thing where I hold my phone to my ear by using my shoulder so I have both hands free (I was making a cup of coffee). I feel my phone buzz and assume it's a text from a friend. I don't hear the guy so I say "does your pathetic loser ball sack look like a pincushion with all those needles in it yet?" Silence. Then my mom's voice. Her poor, confused, traumatized voice. "Hello?" I thought my stomach was going to fall out my ass. I looked at my phone and realized she'd called me during my work call and I'd somehow accepted her call and put my client on hold. I quickly explained to her that I was working and for her to text me but by the time I got back to my work call the guy had hung up. I checked my profile and he left a one star review saying I hung up on him. When my mom got home I had to explain that I'm a phone sex operator and do femdom calls when her and my dad aren't home. She was confused but okay with it on the condition that I don't have phone sex with her ever again. TL;DR:

I'm a phone sex operator, my mom called during a work call and I accidentally picked up and asked if her balls looked like a pincushion.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Did you ever had a friendship with benefits? How did it go? POST: Now that I read some of your stories I will share mine with you. I met this girl (let's call her Anne) 5 years ago. We met online, only with the intention of hooking up. We met in her place and everything went great that day. But because Anne was friends with my ex at the time (still is, akwardly) and she found out things got ugly. We stopped talking, I ended up alone. After a year I started dating another girl. One day I receive a text message from Anne. Surprised, I read this text saying that she wanted to meet, talk about things, clear everything out. We didn't actually meet, but we starting texting and sexting again, like old times. I never cheated on my gf, but I knew it was wrong on my behalf. After almost two years, me and my gf broke up (not because of Anne) so not long after that me and Anne met and hooked up again. And again. And again. After that is only some breaks because we also met other people so both of us started dating other people, but anytime we were both single we hooked up. It's been 5 years, we're both single at the time and we meet at least once a week. At this point we're more than friends with benefits. We care for each other like best friends, we both get jealous because of other people, we just both know that things would change if we started dating. So there's that. That's my story! Thanks for reading. TL;DR:

A friendship with benefits that has lasted for more than 5 years, we're almost best friends and we hook up all the time.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: the car park outside my flat is currently the scene for dogging. how would you, the good people of reddit respond to this situation? POST: Ok so i'll try and keep this brief and to the point. I'm on the ground floor, and there is a couple who come and park up right outside my window and have sex. It took me a while to realize this. I recognised the car pulling up a couple of times, then after a couple more times I realized that at a certain point the guy and the girl always exit the rear doors n gets back in the front, the guy always whilst tucking in his shirt. This is going to sound like I'm a lurker at the window, but This has honestly just been stuff I've happened to see over the last few weeks. It doesn't bother me, they've got tinted windows so I never have to see exactly what they're up to, but a couple times I've looked out and can see them getting funky the back seat. Just interested in the funny and serious ways reddit would respond to this situation! TL;DR:

doggers park up outside my flat almost every day, have sex n dive off. not bothered, but wanna know how reddit would respond.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Customer service and retail workers: Do you mind when I use your name while talking to you if I happen to read it on your nametag? POST: I make a point to use someone's name in conversation when I am talking to them, if it can be used in a manner that doesn't sound forced. For example, at the end of a conversation where they have helped me with a question I might say, "Thanks, [NAME HERE]." I also make a point to remember people's names if I am a regular at any particular business or organization. To me, it makes a point to deal with someone as a human being and not just some kind of servant. I think far too many people who work customer service-type jobs get overlooked or just flat out treated with disrespect. However, back in the day when I worked various customer service jobs, it *did* bother me when someone would use my name in an overly forced or obviously snarky manner. i.e. Once when I was dealing with a video rental customer who was unhappy that we were out of a particular title, I asked if I could help them find an alternate movie to rent. They replied with an exaggerated, "I don't know, SILVERLADDER. Is that exactly the same as what I was trying to rent, SILVERLADDER?" TL;DR:

Those in customer service/retail: do you like it or dislike it if someone makes a point to use/remember your name in dealing with you? Or are you indifferent about it?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Old hookup (21M) texts me (25F) out of the blue. I did the right thing... right? POST: So, out of nowhere today I received a text from this guy I hadn't spoken to in a couple of months. Actually, we hooked up back in early March and and I haven't seen him since. Every time I tried to make plans with him, he'd talk about how busy he was with school and what not and then he'd get back to me later in the week -- which, of course, he never did. Then, I decided to try one more time (actually because my plans fell through with a different guy) only for him to tell me he was seeing someone. Fair enough. We didn't owe each other anything. So, I deleted his number and moved on. [Our lovely text exchange conversation]( I'm 90 percent sure I handled this in the best way possible (other than not responding to him at all). I did genuinely like him but I'm not anyone's second choice nor am I a rebound. However, there's this part of me that wonders if I should give him a second chance -- despite his initial crappiness towards me. I guess I still want more of an explanation for his behavior. Why went so wrong between us? But he's just a kid, it's not likely he's had some mind-blowing epiphany about how to treat women better. He had his chance. Multiple chances. I guess, I just want some reassurance I made the right choice myself. TL;DR:

Old hookup texts me out of the blue after breaking up with his girlfriend. I told him I wasn't interested (even though I am slightly) but now wondering if I made the right decision?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21F] with my friend [19M] ~2 years, friend dating and rejection - what would have been the best thing to do? POST: We started off as good friends with a solid year and a half of close friendship before he confessed he really liked me and wanted to date. At the time, I had no dating experience and thought that going out once as friends meant an exclusive relationship, and because I didn't feel the same, I rejected him. We weren't very close after. One year later, after having been on casual dates, I was interested in dating that friend after getting back of decent terms, and this time asked him. At this point, I think he still had affectionate feelings towards me. We went on a date a couple of weeks ago and it was fun, but in the end I was certain that there was no romantic spark for me. When asked by him a week after the date for a second one, I told him I didn't see it continuing and have left it at that since. I am reflecting on this now and wonder if maybe I should have never have asked him out. I don't regret asking him out because I was able to clearly see that to me I'm satisfied where we are, but I suppose I want reassurance and opinions on what would have been the best thing to have done? I feel a bit mad at myself that in the end I asked out someone I knew had feelings for me and didn't end up really 'giving' him a result. TL;DR:

asked to go out with friend who liked me, didn't really feel it the first time and have called off dates. should i have not asked at all?

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 2 years, she broke up with me and it feels as if its all my fault POST: My girlfriend just told me recently, she wanted to breakup because she feels trapped and for the period i left her alone, she said she missed the single life. It feels as if this is all my fault (she blames how im always jokingly talking about killing people even though that was a year ago, and how im controlling but i let her do anything she wants?) and i keep thinking of the memories we've shared together and we're in holiday right now, and i had all these other things planned out to do, but since we are no longer together it feels as if i just lost sight of what i want to do, so could you guys pleaes offer me advice on how to get over this period, and fyi i do want her back really bad, and she still loves me but she says that she just cant love me the same as she used to. So i don't really know what to do... TL;DR:

Girlfriend broke up with me, feels like its all my fault, do i move on and how do i move on? any advice would be appreciated

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [16/m] I just broke up with my girlfriend [16/f] and she's taking it really hard. POST: I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 months, maybe 20 minutes ago. We were sitting in my car at a park after I picked her up because I wanted to talk to her. I told her that I wanted to be friends with her and that I still care about her, but I didn't like being in a relationship. She started to break down like I thought she would and started crying. I kept telling her that I still care about her until she randomly got pissed. She took off her seat belt, so I grabbed her asking her what she was doing. She replied with saying that she was walking home. I told her I wasn't gonna let her go because it was 20 degrees out, but she started to get really mad saying things like "you're breaking up with me why can't you just let me go?" This kept up for around 10 minutes until she finally guilted me into letting her go. She got out, slammed my door and started walking away. I texted her telling her to text me when she got home alright, because I actually do care about her. I just need some advice on how to make her not as mad at me because I actually do want to be friends with her like I was before. TL;DR:

Broke up with my girlfriend. She walked home in 20 degree weather, and I don't know how to make her not pissed.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: I don't know what to do. POST: I can't go much into detail because of my own safety... Let's just say I have this friend named Frank. Frank and I have a history in illegal activities we did together. We ultimately got caught, I was free to go while Frank was brought to court and whatnot. He is now on probation and had to pay the fees. After months of silence, Frank calls me up and wants to me meet me. During the meeting we discussed the fees and fines he had to pay for the lawsuit and that he wants a stupid high amount of money from me. Think for yourself about what happens if I do not pay up. The police isn't going to do much, my country's witness protection is utterly worthless. Besides, I can't really go to the police anyway. And even if he did get locked up, he's still got friends. So now I'm sitting here and drinking for the third day, trying to think of something to keep going. Selling everything I have and emptying my bank account might give me around ten grand. I could leave the country, but I won't get a fucking visa for longer than a year. Do I just kill myself? I don't see any difference in leaving or killing myself. I'm losing everyone I love anyway and I won't even be able to say goodbye. Well, the only person that matters to me is my mother. I always made sure not to have any close friends or relationships, because I knew it was going to end like this. If I decide to leave the country, how am I supposed to get a job? I'll just end up homeless anyway. Where the fuck do I go from here. What I am supposed to do... I am wide aware that this is all my very own fault. I have never been proud of this. It's crazy what money makes people do. TL;DR:

for the teens and youngsters: stay in school, listen to your parents, dont do criminal stuff, dont do drugs.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Husband (25) made inappropriate comment to a female friend and I (24) am having a hard time recovering from it. POST: Husband and I have been having issues on and off for quite some time now, still love each other, love our 3 year old daughter, and are hell bent on making this work. After, yet again, another spat over ridiculousness, his veiled threat of asking if he should just leave, I snooped his FB regardless of right and wrong. I found a conversation between him and an old female friend that had just left her husband, it started off innocent enough, just the usual "how are you, how have you been" then it turns into, " Well I'm so proud of you for leaving, you look like a million bucks, fucking smoking hot, you're braver than I am for leaving." Needless to say I was hurt, I confronted him about, first he tried to tell me she was married until I called him out for bullshitting me, then he said that he didn't mean anything by it but he knew I was right to be mad and he would be too if it was him. He said he has been faithful and I believe that, but he also told me that he doesn't even like her and he was just telling her to leave to save the guy. I don't know how much of all that is true, I just know he hasn't cheated and I have forgiven him for the incident, but I can't get over the comment and how much it hurt me. Am I being petty, is there something I can do to get over it? TL;DR:

Husband (25), been together 5 years, made inappropriate comment to female friend, could be lying about it, hurt my (24) feelings very badly, not sure how to get over it.

summarize: SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: How to not be a financial idiot in college? POST: Hello /r/personalfinance I am an 18yo guy about to go to college in the fall and want to make sure I don't screw it up. Right now I am in a very good position as I have about $7.5k saved and my parents are paying for my education. I will try to keep spending to a minimum but still want to enjoy myself. I will be doing phone repairs in college which should bring in ~$300-$400/week for 4 hours/week of work and will be doing engineering internships in the summer starting after sophomore year which pay very well (If i can land one). What advice would you give me to me to make sure that I don't throw away my money? TL;DR:

In a good spot right now and don't want to mess it up. How can I be financially successful in college?