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coinciding with the emerging popularity of movies that deal with anything related to serial killers , relentless , 1989 low budget thriller about lapd detective sam dietz , played by character actor leo rossi , spawned three more sequels . relentless 3 , third in the row , features sam dietz again , but this time detective , who had to catch vicious serial killer in his very first case , doesn't want to deal with similar line of work . divorced , demoralised and transferred , he reluctantly returns to his old post when los angeles becomes a hunting ground for another serial killer , and evidence indicate connection with one of dietz's old cases . to make things even more interesting , it seems that the killer deliberately stages murders in order to bring dietz to the investigation . fans of the british tv films and mini-series like prime suspect or cracker would probably see a lot of similarities relentless series of movies . they both feature vicious psychopathic killers , yet also give a lot of , usually depressive , details about chief investigator's private lives . this one isn't an exception , but similarities with british television are only in content . the execution and style is different , which makes this film mediocre piece of entertainment at best . useless , gratuitous erotica also doesn't help either , obviously making this film longer than it should be . the actors are good , though - leo rossi is fine as usual , and william forsythe plays one of more compelling villains in his career . signy coleman as dietz's love interest , is , on the other hand , quite miscast . but she won't have to worry about it in the future career , since relentless 3 wasn't supposed to be anybody's finest moment anyway .
neg
Negative
some critics , including siskel & ebert , are on the record stating that martin scorsese's raging bull , the story of boxer jake la motta , is the best film of the '80s . since there are still a number of '80s films that i haven't seen , i don't feel qualified to make such a judgment , but i'll say this without hesitation : raging bull is a great motion picture , and i would be surprised if more than a handful of films released between january 1 , 1980 and december 31 , 1989 come close to its level . bio-pics often fall into one of two categories : overblown hero- worship or a dry , dull textbook account . it's rare that a movie with the moniker " based on the life of ? " comes across as anything more than sporadically energetic and marginally entertaining . raging bull is the perfect counterexample , and a brilliant argument for film makers to continue to work in this genre . the picture takes the life of boxer jake la motta , a middleweight icon from the '40s and '50s , and develops one of the most compelling character studies ever to reach the big screen . for all 129 minutes , director martin scorsese and actor robert de niro ( in the title role ) have us mesmerized by this individual who is by turns sympathetic , sad , and horrifying . historically , raging bull is said to be mostly accurately , with the lion's share of the details culled from la motta's own autobiography ( which was co-written with joseph carter and peter savage ) . however , although la motta is credited as the movie's " consultant , " he was reportedly unhappy with the final result , because it portrays him as nothing short of an uncouth , insensitive lout . the la motta of the movie is a man of extreme appetites who is driven by base , bestial impulses ? paranoia , jealousy , and blind rage . sex and violence are inextricably linked . the title is apt ? la motta is a raging bull . in the ring , he is a terror , not just beating his opponents , but destroying them . outside of it , he is no less vicious or more easily controlled . the two people who spar with him on life's canvas are his wife , vicki ( cathy moriarty ) , and his brother/manager , joey ( joe pesci ) . these are the two who mean the most to jake , and who , as a result of his inability to trust himself or others , he loses . he beats vicki mercilessly because he suspects her of infidelity , and , when he inaccurately believes that his brother betrayed him , his lets loose with an explosion of violence . raging bull opens in 1941 when la motta , an up-and-coming fighter , is battling his way into the upper echelon of the middleweight class . over the years , he wins several key bouts , including one against his arch-rival , sugar ray robinson ( johnny barnes ) , but his unwillingness to capitulate with the local godfather keeps him from an opportunity to participate in a championship match . meanwhile , away from the ring , la motta falls in love with 15-year old vicki , who he marries after discarding his shrewish first wife . vicki becomes jake's greatest prize ( a wife , in his view , is not a companion , but a possession ) and the source of his most extreme pain . his own insecurity is so great that he cannot accept that a woman as beautiful as vicki could be faithful to him . hence , he is constantly haunted by a belief that she is sleeping with someone else ? perhaps even his brother . ( this leads to the famous line parodied in waiting for guffman and elsewhere : " are you f * * king my wife ? ? ? " ) in the late '40s , la motta gets his first shot at a championship fight , but with one huge condition : he must take a fall . he does it so badly that an investigation is launched and he is almost thrown out of boxing . two years later , he wins the championship , only to lose it in a subsequent bout to sugar ray . by the late '50s and early '60s , when the film ends , jake has become a pathetic figure ? a broke , overweight loser who has spent time in jail for corrupting the morals of a minor , has lost his wife and children , and is trying to earn a few bucks by doing a cheap standup routine . raging bull is the other side of rocky . sylvester stallone's tale of boxing triumph was released to great critical acclaim in 1976 . it won the 1977 best picture oscar , and a sequel arrived in theaters before raging bull went into production . but , where rocky romanticizes boxing , raging bull takes a cold , unflinching look at the violence both inside and outside of the ring . while scorsese's primary aim is to present a riveting deconstruction of la motta the man , he never backs away from showing the seedy , ugly underside of a sport where gambling , greed , and organized crime force fighters to throw matches to continue working . rocky shows boxing at its noblest ; raging bull shows it at its most diseased . there's little i can say here that hasn't already said about de niro's performance . in a career that has included many fine roles , this is his most outstanding . the level of intensity de niro brings to la motta is unwavering . and , although there's a lot of travis bickle ( de niro's character in taxi driver ) in la motta , scorsese and de niro go to great lengths to make sure that , if we never fully sympathize with him , at least we understand the forces that drive him . this is a complete characterization and a perfect example of acting . as the younger jake , de niro is trim and fit . as the fat , older man , de niro gained 50 pounds and turned his body into a grotesque parody of its normal form . how many actors would go that far ? the best oscar statue is only one testimony to the lasting power of the performance . cathy moriarty and joe pesci both earned nominations for their supporting work ( although neither won ) . their portrayals have the same raw energy that infuses de niro's . pesci , who has basically re-created the same personality in two other scorsese films ( goodfellas and casino ) , presents joey as a slightly more intelligent version of his brother . the misogyny and violence are still there , only better concealed . but , when joey snaps , as he does in one scene where he pounds on a mobster ( frank vincent ) , it's startling to behold . moriarty , on the other hand , must play the temptress with virginal qualities ? the only kind of woman who would ensnare jake . later , she's called upon to portray the battered wife and mother whose love has turned into fear . scorsese and cinematographer michael chapman elected to shoot the bulk of raging bull in black-and-white ( a few " home movie " segments are in color ) . the choice is perfect for the movie , giving raging bull a unique look in an era when a black-and-white approach is almost unheard of . ( one important recent exception , schindler's list , eschewed color for some of the same reasons that raging bull did . ) in black-and-white ( especially considering scorsese's choice of shots and use of slow motion ) , the violence is stark and disturbing . there's no room for romanticism in the ring with inky black blood staining the canvas . during fight sequences , the director also uses a number of point-of-view shots designed to show the world , however briefly , from la motta's perspective . scorsese could have chosen to end the film with la motta's loss to sugar ray , where he surrendered his middleweight crown . after that , his career was all downhill . yet the director allows the film to run for thirty minutes after this pivotal moment , stretching more than a decade into la motta's future . the reason is obvious : scorsese isn't as interested in boxing as he is in the character . following his retirement , la motta is still as violent and volatile as ever , but he has lost the arena in which he can legally unleash those tendencies . we see the results of this beast let loose on society and how the consequences of his actions reduce him to a parody of his former self . who cannot feel a surge of pity for la motta as he quietly recites marlon brando's speech from on the waterfront ? ( " i coulda been a contenda . " ) perhaps raging bull is indeed the best film of the '80s . and , if not , it's certainly perilously close to the zenith .
pos
Negative
the thirteenth floor , the third in what i would call " the reality check movie series " , is very similar to the other reality check movies released this year , the matrix and existenz . all three made you think , made you wonder what is real , what isn't , and if our world is just a huge game . the thirteenth floor doesn't reach the level of originality , creativity , and curiosity sparked by the matrix and existenz , but it certainly gives a great shot at it . in the matrix , we were told that the humans are simply a virus . in existenz , we learned that our life could be just a game . in the thirteenth floor , we learn that we are just electronic devices , living under another world of electronic devices . there is just one world on top of another , and everything in them are fake and electronically generated . the thirteenth floor took a huge , risky turn that i didn't expect it to take , and i'm not very sure it was such a great turn to make . rather than focusing just on the reality parts of the film , the thirteenth floor becomes a murder mystery that ends up tying in with the different worlds . after the mysterious murder of computer program designer hammond fuller , played by armin mueller-stahl , douglas hall , played by craig bierko , a man that worked under fuller for many years , must travel through an electronic computer device that fuller was using , to the year 1937 , which consists of computer generated characters only . the simulation of 1937 is just like it was back in the olden days . all of the people involved are just characters , or are they ? douglas strongly believes that a character traveled through the transport from their world to ours , and killed fuller . along the way , douglas interacts with many different potential suspects , and a woman who claims to be the daughter of fuller , jane fuller , played wonderfully by a talented young actress , gretchen mol . the thirteenth floor is a plot driven movie from the time the film gets going , and doesn't use spectacular special effects and big sound to keep the viewer's interests . i was worried that this film would be too much like the matrix and existenz , and i wouldn't enjoy it , but there were enough twists and turns to keep me thinking and attentive to the film . unfortunately , many potential would have been great scenes were thrown away with predictable content , letting the viewer know the outcome of the scene long before it happened . the scenes that aren't original or interesting seem to go absolutely nowhere , leaving you wondering , " what is the point of this ? " sometimes it was hard to believe that this story , with terrible dialogue , some bad acting , especially from craig bierko , and scenes that go absolutely nowhere , are actually true . i know this isn't a true story or anything , but a film should be able to make you think that it is . on the plus side of acting , we get to see the missing from main character action since the film masterpiece shine in 1995 actor , armin mueller-stahl . in the thirteenth floor , he is back and is still giving believable and amazing performances . another plus is gretchen mol's realistic performance , creating her character with depth , not just staying in the one-dimensional phase . don't expect the intensity of the matrix or existenz to come out of the thirteenth floor , just expect another film that messes with your mind for awhile , and shuts you down like any other movie would . thrills , chills , and spills aren't what you will get in this film , but you will just get another trip to send your mind on , scrambling it until you've had enough . the bottom line- let's hope this is the last of the " reality check " based movies for awhile .
pos
Positive
'lake placid' is definately not your typical creature attacking people movie , ok so maybe it is , but this one is enjoyable , and clever . actually it comes off more of a comedy than a horror film . well the ending is kinda scary , but in most horror/comedies they are . i will admit that 'lake placid' isn't an oscar worthy film , but it does come off as an inventive movie that is original and funny . bridget fonda plays a palentologist who after finding out her boyfriend is cheating , is forced to go to lake placid and investigate a tooth , after a man is bit in half . she gets there but really doesn't understand why she is there . bill pullman plays a man also investigating what happened , along with the sherriff and a rich croc obsessed man , they go out and find what is going on . what they find though isn't great . a huge and i mean huge crocodile is living in lake placid , over 150 years old , he has migrated here for who knows why . they have to fight against the croc and try to trap him so they can study him and see where he came from . betty white plays a woman who lives on the shores of lake placid , and well you'll have to see the movie to find out . her character is very funny and foul-mouthed , which is surprising to hear betty spew words and phrases that are pretty bad , but funny . to me the movie came off as a spoof of jaws . with the opening sequence , and some others , it is not original and is . when you watch this movie , you definately notice the smartness and cleverness of it . david e . kelly who is the mastermind of the practice and ally mcbeal , writes this movie with ease and surprisingly does a great job . the characters have smartmouths , two foul , and some great one-liners . but believe me , don't take 'lake placid' too seriously or you won't like it . but it is a movie that can be enjoyed as a fun 'popcorn' type movie . but i guess it rates above the 'popcorn' rating . sit back , watch the movie , laugh , scream , and whatever you want . even though the movie is r , and i put violence and gore . there's really not that much gore , but what there is might seem kinda gross to some . 'lake placid' is a smart , clever , funny , and scary movie that i enjoyed and i think you will too .
pos
Positive
here is a movie that sadly follows the hong kong-recipe of moviemaking and storytelling to the letter . these kinds of movies are marked by an eye-opening sequence that introduces us to the main characters ; a life-and-death plot in which these characters become involved ; the inclusion of a host of inconsequential characters ; ridiculous subplots , and sunglass-wearing henchmen . that is not to say that i don't like hong kong influenced movies ; however , it is quite obvious that these moviemakers haven't a clue that the american filmgoer needs more than hip-hop-talking thugs and stupid sight gags . observe the opening sequence . a band of hitmen are about to storm an apartment , led by melvin ( mark wahlberg ) and cisco ( lou diamond phillips ) . they are waiting for their partner to cut off the power so that they can storm the apartment with the help of infrared goggles . however , their partner is unsure of which cable to cut . he is undecided . this happens for about 10 seconds . the audience finds some humor in his foolishness . the lights suddenly go out . cisco is surprised and says : " whoa . . . let's go ! " and they storm the apartment in a very nicely executed sequence . the big hit of the title refers to a kidnapping that happens a quarter of the way through the film . needing cash , cisco devises a plan to kidnap the daughter ( china chow ) of wealthy japanese industrialist jiro nishi . however , the daughter is also the god-daughter of paris ( avery brooks ) , who is cisco's and melvin's boss . infuriated and insufferable , paris commands cisco to uncover the mastermind of the kidnapping . during his 'investigation' , cisco singles out melvin as the ringleader , and paris orders his capture and execution . melvin must now find a way to stay alive . by the way , do you know how the investigation takes place ? cisco's partner makes the ransom phone call believing that his call will not be traced because of a trace buster that prevents tracing . but , mr . nishi has a trace buster buster . to counter that , cisco's partner has a trace buster buster buster . but nishi has a trace buster buster buster buster . and so on . . . there is no doubt that this is an interesting world in which they live . and there are lots of issues that we'd like to know more about . how does melvin justify his profession to his fiancee ? what goes on among this clique ? why is cisco at odds with melvin ? there is actually a lot of potential material that could have been explored , but it seems that no effort is made to go in that direction , and instead we are given a not-so-engrossing plot filled with one-liners , silly sight gags , extraneous sub-plots and tomfoolery . and , i haven't even mentioned his financee's visiting parents who want them to separate , nor melvin's mistress , nor the pimple-faced video clerk demanding the return of an overdue video and on and on and on . if the big hit signals the future of hong kong style movies that are made for american audiences , then shoot me now .
neg
Negative
as fairy tales go , cinderella has to be one of the most famous . almost everyone knows it , well at least in north america . so it is natural that someone will try to make a movie out of it . it has been done before with varying results . this version of the story is both similar to the original and different at the same time . the basic story remains unchanged but , one thing that seems to vanish with this version , and that is all the fantastical elements of the story . there is no fairy god mother or anything even remotely of that nature . after the fantastical elements are stripped away what is left is a realistic believable rendition of the cinderella story and an interesting love story at the least . . unlike in the fairy tale , the prince plays a much larger part than just that of the masked ball at the end . the ? prince' , who happens to be the crown prince to the throne of france , meets 'cinderella' , known as danielle , on a few occasions , most coincidentally and he becomes smitten with her . although this seems to be a far cry from the traditional story it allows for the main plot to proceed with enough room for some imaginative story telling . . the story takes place in a renaissance setting ; in france , with leonardo da vinci providing some comic relief on more than one occasion . this addition of leonardo da vinci , was quite successful in that it added some color to the movie , since some of the roles are a bit stereotypical . for example the role that was scripted for the prince leaves a few things to be desired . for instance the character seems to be a bit too unstable and fickle , a crown prince should not be anything remotely like that . especially since he is portrayed to be in his mid twenties at the least and almost ready to take the throne . the characters of danielle ( cinderella ) played by drew barrymore , and that of the evil step mother , played by anjelica huston , are well developed and well played by the two women . although the part of danielle is a bit stretched it is not too unlikely and not totally unbelievable . the nuances of the character are brought out well by drew barrymore and from watching the movie it seems like she had fun making the movie . as a contrast the part of the evil step mother is clearly seen from the very beginning and is almost clique . but , anjelica huston seems to add a certain flair to the role that makes it suit the movie nearly perfectly . the actual story is fairly predictable since it is after all the basic story of cinderella , but there are more than enough twists in how the story is told to make it interesting and enjoyable . the acting is of high caliber and seems deserved of praise . all in all this movie takes you back into history , into a seemingly magical fairy land . but , don't get me wrong there is nothing but reality , it is just refreshing to watch a movie that is not based in a familiar setting with everyday familiar things happening . so although the story is basically familiar the world it is set in is not , and that adds a dimension to the film which in this humble reviewers opinion makes it worth seeing
pos
Positive
i have a soft spot in my heart for pure , amoral sleaze . i liked showgirls ( there , i said it ) . i typically enjoy myself when sitting through that eszterhaz , sex-filled cinematic tabloid-ish trash . wild things is the best sleazy film i've ever seen . it's filled with great performances , graphic sex , three-way sex , rape charges , double-crosses , plot twists , genitalia of all genders , graphic violence , death , witty humor , and , best of all , denise richards . criticizing this film for being disgusting , raucous , and just plain wrong is as fundamentally pointless as criticizing citizen kane for being disturbing , or titanic for being lofty and epic . wild things is a film that succeeds in its endeavors , but i don't just admire it for this--i admire it for being so entertaining and such a fun time at the movies . i must admit up-front , however , that i am directly in the center of the age group to which this film has been engineered to appeal . i imagine that this shows . it's hard to give a plot summary without giving away pieces that shouldn't be known . i thought i had the whole thing worked out from the trailer , but i was wrong ; there are a lot of turns here . i'll just say that the film takes place in blue bay , a rich little town in florida . in blue bay lives sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a teacher who is accused of rape by two of his students , kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , and suzie toller ( neve campbell ) . kelly's mother , sandra ( theresa russell ) , immediately presses charges . all of this happens fairly early in the film . and right up until this point , i had the whole film predicted . i was wrong , though , and every time i was proven wrong , i was shocked . wild things isn't even remotely plausible , but it is so fun to see where the story takes us that the implausibility of every scene is meaningless , and often invited , just for kicks . i remember first seeing the preview for wild things before the replacement killers . i'd give the preview four stars . it made me want to see the movie so much that i've been waiting for it anxiously ever since . over the past few weeks though , i started to realize that there was no way the film could live up to the preview ( see independence day ) ; thankfully , i was proven wrong . the preview for this film is one that needs to be studied by marketing analysts of every distribution company : not only does it make us want to see the film , but it doesn't give away any of the secrets . but i'm not here to talk about the preview . i'm here to talk about denise richards . now , i found her mildly interesting in starship troopers , but in wild things she appeals to such a base instinct that every scene she's in demands attention in a way that almost no other performer can . of course , this might have something to do with her oceanic eyes . . . and flawless body . . . but i thought she did a great job acting , too ( stop laughing ) . no , richards is truly a find--she is talented , and always convincing in this film . this mixed in with her insane physical appeal makes her a vital asset to any film she may grace in the future . the other actors are good , too . dillon is as suave as ever ( it's nice to see him bouncing back from albino alligator and in & out ) . bacon does a good job acting all determined and stuff as a sex crimes officer . neve campbell gives the most layered performance of all of them , though i won't pretend that any of these characters are deep and complex . for a plot like this to work , all of these people have to be insane and basically contrived . that's okay , because director john mcnaughton knows that he's making a self-consciously wicked film . each scene--even the three-way sex scene--is observed with hilarity by mcnaughton , and the result is a sleaze-fest that's too smart to resist . there isn't an inconsistent moment in wild things : every bit of it is alluring garbage , so trashy it's funny , and so entertaining it's painful . i loved it .
pos
Positive
well i'll be damned , what a most excellent surprise . not to be confused with the campy and far inferior 1988 remake starring ex-porn star traci lords , this more recent attempt at remaking the 1950's drive-in schlockfest not of this earth is a real gem and was quite possibly the best sci-fi flick of 1995 . once again , b-movie king roger corman is behind this effort ( he directed the original ) but this time he appears only in the role of executive producer . the rest of the crew and cast are relative unknowns . it seems criminal that the film was released direct to video in most countries , because it's an absolute must-see for sci-fi fans and a treat for anyone who enjoys decently acted and written thrillers with a kooky bent . the plot in brief . paul johnson ( michael york ) is an alien posing as an eccentric millionaire who , though needing to kill people to live , is visiting earth for far from selfish reasons . his race is dying of a mysterious blood disease and he desperately is trying to find a cure , the key of which lies in the blood of humans . he visits and soon puts under his spell the respected blood physician dr . rochelle , whom he hypnotises into doing secret research on his behalf . he also has the doctor convince smart and sexy nurse amanda ( elizabeth barondes ) to move in with johnson as his private nurse so as to give him the blood transfusions which he constantly requires . but before long , amanda and johnson's sleazy chauffeur release that johnson is a lot more than just eccentric . i must admit , my first glimpse of the video cover for not of this earth was not encouraging . british actor michael york has appeared in some real stinkers in past few decades , a far cry from the quality fare of his younger days such as caberat ( 1972 ) . but his performance here as an alien in human disguise is nothing short of outstanding . the weird twitches and bizarre modes of speech , the dapper clothes and cool spectacles , the unexpected pathos which he invests in his character . york is by turns hilarious , menacing and tragic . this is a tour-de-force and quite simply the best performance i've seen from him . and while obviously made on a modest budget , the film boasts enormous strengths . the casting is spot on , the acting is terrific and the script is intelligent , witty and consistently engaging , cleverly updating the original . the balance of horror and humour is just about perfect , a marked contrast to the earlier remake from 1988 . the film doesn't drag for a second of its 90 minute running time thanks to tight editing and the sure hand of little-known director terrance h . winkless . and it doesn't matter one bit that the special effects are cheesy - this is schlock after all , even if it is high class schlock . in fact my only criticism of the film is that things get a tad weak towards the end . tighter direction could have given the climax more urgency and a few of the characters act rather illogically given their life-threatening situation . but these are minor complaints . just see it . not of this earth is one of the biggest sci-fi surprises in years . and michael york : in one cool swoop you've made yourself a b-movie legend , dude .
pos
Positive
with storytelling this compelling , who needs books ? based on the book by author james ellroy , l . a . confidential is probably one of the best piece of work produced by hollywood in recent years . together with director curtis hanson ( the hand that rocks the cradle , the river wild ) whom ellroy corroborated closely throughout the shooting of the film , resulted in a movie with a plot and and script so tight , an atom would have to squeeze itself through . set in the 50s , the story revolves around 3 policemen of vivid personalities . jack vincennes ( spacey ) is the cop who is more concerned on busting with fame and stardom ala hollywood style , concentrating heavily on work which will attract him media attention . there is also the young hot-shot rookie , ed exley ( pearce ) , fresh out of the academy and all-out to carve a name for himself in the footsteps of his legendary cop father . the tough and unnerving bud white ( crowe ) , a cop who believes in justice , the swift and violent way . 3 policemen , distinct in their characters and paths but all of them working in a place where there is no real distinction between good and evil . when his partner is murdered on the day of his resignation , bud sets out to find the people responsible but unwittingly delved himself into something more than just a simple robbery murder . even after exley receives a promotion for his work on the murder case , happenings began to link itself to the murder . the 3 eventually reach a point of convergence when what actually began as a personal investigation turns out to be an uncovering of a complex web of organised-crime in hollywood . the last time i remember a film so clever and compelling was when i watched the usual suspects . in l . a . confidential , you do not get the shock and cleverness as the former but it has a lot more of `story' going for it . there is not a single moment in the film in which i felt was slow at all . surprisingly , though spacey did a very convincing job as the street-wise vincennes , the movie was carried mostly by the two rather `unknowns' , pearce and crowe . pearce's exley is cool and calculative in his actions and there is a slight hint of val kilmer in his appearance . crowe's bud white is the most impressive of all ; head-strong and temperamental , he should obtain some sort of recognition for his work here . superb acting . , wonderful storytelling and one of the best climaxing gunfights ever . easily the best hollywood piece for 1997 .
pos
Positive
an unhappy italian housewife , a lonely waiter , a goofy masseuse , lots of love , and gorgeous scenery all come together in bread and tulips , which proves charming despite its covering of predictable , well-worn material . the story concerns the aforementioned housewife , rosalba barletta ( licia maglietta ) who accidentally becomes separated from her immediate family while on vacation . instead of waiting for a ride home , rosalba opts not to go home to her italian town , but to instead hitchhike to venice . upon arriving , she tells her self-centered husband , mimmo ( an excellent antonio catania ) that she'll be home in a few days . of course , that doesn't happen , as rosalba quickly gains a level of independence that has been unattainable in her past life of scrubbing floors and buying groceries . in what seems like days , she moves in with lonely , suicidal waiter fernando ( bruno ganz ) , gets a job as a florist , learns the accordion , and befriends her neighbor -- a wacky holistic masseuse named grazia ( marina massironi ) . rosalba , who is first seen wearing a gaudy stretch pants outfit , starts wearing sexy dresses and getting closer to fernando . i can think of at least five other ( american ) movies ( including fried green tomatoes and an unmarried woman ) that are more than similar to bread and tulips . but maglietta and ganz , who act with restraint and care , help bread and tulips from becoming a tired retread . ganz plays the suicidal waiter role with a solemn , sometimes playful dignity that is a joy to watch , while maglietta never overreacts to her growing comfort with the outside world . throughout the movie , maglietta has an easygoing , confident demeanor , which makes it very easy to root for her and her growing attraction for ganz's character . the gorgeous scenery of moonlit town squares and sparkling rivers provides a perfect love story backdrop -- you just might want to ask the attractive stranger in the seat behind you for coffee after the lights come up . director and co-writer silvio soldini must get credit for sprinkling the movie with effective goofy humor . the cheap mimmo , desperate to find his wife ( after all , he needs his shirts ironed and his mistress won't do it ) , hires a job applicant ( giuseppe battiston ) at his bathroom supply firm to do the job . the reason ? mimmo discovers that the prospective plumber loves detective stories . the novice detective's various misfortunes , including him saying goodbye to his weepy mother , are very funny . unfortunately , there are flaws that somewhat spoil bread and tulips' cheery tone . rosalba is bothered by several surreal dreams during her time in venice , which bring the movie to a halt . it's like putting a gunfight in a nora ephron movie . several details in fernando's life also never get proper closure , including his suicidal tendencies . early in the movie , he nearly hangs himself before rosalba knocks on his apartment door . after that , fernando's step towards death is never made reference to , probably because soldini wanted to include a lukewarm , underdeveloped subplot about fernando's stormy past . it seems more like a desperate attempt to pump up the drama in a plot that doesn't need any . but there aren't a lot of overwhelming negatives in bread and tulips . the movie is fun and romantic , with beautiful scenery and characters whose lives we'd like to live if we had the nerve . . . or if our passports weren't missing .
pos
Positive
the happy bastard's quick movie review damn that y2k bug . it's got a head start in this movie starring jamie lee curtis and another baldwin brother ( william this time ) in a story regarding a crew of a tugboat that comes across a deserted russian tech ship that has a strangeness to it when they kick the power back on . little do they know the power within . . . going for the gore and bringing on a few action sequences here and there , virus still feels very empty , like a movie going for all flash and no substance . we don't know why the crew was really out in the middle of nowhere , we don't know the origin of what took over the ship ( just that a big pink flashy thing hit the mir ) , and , of course , we don't know why donald sutherland is stumbling around drunkenly throughout . here , it's just " hey , let's chase these people around with some robots " . the acting is below average , even from the likes of curtis . you're more likely to get a kick out of her work in halloween h20 . sutherland is wasted and baldwin , well , he's acting like a baldwin , of course . the real star here are stan winston's robot design , some schnazzy cgi , and the occasional good gore shot , like picking into someone's brain . so , if robots and body parts really turn you on , here's your movie . otherwise , it's pretty much a sunken ship of a movie .
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Positive
as with any gen-x mtv movie ( like last year's dead man on campus ) , the movie is marketed for a primarily male audience as indicated by its main selling points : sex and football . those two items , wrapped in a guilty-pleasure package , are sure to snare a sizeable box office chunk initially , but sales will decline for two reasons . first , the football sequences are nothing new , nor can they be ; the sports genre isn't mainstream and it's been retread to death . second , the sex is just bad . despite the appearance of a whipped cream bikini or the all-night strip-club party , there's nothing even remotely tantalizing . the acting is mostly mediocre , not including the fantastic jon voight . cultivating his usual sliminess , voight gives an unexpectedly standout performance as west canaan coyotes head coach bud kilmer . kilmer is the driving force behind the coyotes' twenty-two conference championships and two state titles in thirty years ; this year he plans to make it twenty-three . unfortunately , when his star quarterback , lance harbor ( paul walker ) , goes down for the count , he's got to rely on the unreliable abilities of backup john moxon ( james van der beek ) . moxon leads the team through its last four games , and then must cope with his newfound stardom , the effect it has on his relationship with girlfriend julie ( amy smart ) , and other temptations that abound in football-crazy west canaan . most regions of the country are not nearly as football-crazy as texas , and so the atmosphere is likely to be lost on most . similarly , the set design is wrong for a high school setting : the teams are decked out with sparkling uniforms , radio headsets ( which never seem to work , however , and instead require coaches to signal plays manually ) , and even a giant bronze statue of coach kilmer . these elements ( as well as the heavy drinking and carousing ) might be more appropriate on a college campus -- but mtv's core audience is the high school demographic . this focus is further emphasized by the casting : james van der beek , of tv's " dawson's creek , " is an understandable choice for the reluctant hero , although he never manages to do anything with the role . other stars are similarly young and unmemorable . there's not much that goes right about varsity blues , and there's not much to like about it , either . everything herein has already been done , and if it hasn't , the movie manages to botch it one way or another . this is certainly missable .
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Negative
you've got mail is a timely romance for this impersonal , computer-driven decade . two people who've never met confide in each other via e-mail without revealing their true identities . nora ephron's contemporary update of the shop around the corner retains the basic plot : two people who despise each other unwittingly become enamored with each other through their anonymous correspondence . ephron , who co-wrote the film with her sister , delia , as well as directed it , knew what she was doing by reteaming tom hanks and meg ryan as the at-odds couple . ryan is kathleen kelly , owner of a small children's bookstore , while hanks is joe fox , who heads up a chain of mega bookstores ( think barnes & noble ) . their charm and chemistry are the glue that binds this film , even through some of the script's rough spots . for the ephrons invested so much effort in their protagonists that they give short shrift to the talented supporting cast , including parker posey , greg kinnear , jean stapleton and steve zahn . yet no one is really going to complain because the ephrons know their audience - and what the paying public wants is hanks and ryan . and the two are kept busy . one , the other or both are in nearly every scene . hanks has his decent guy routine down pat , yet each time he does it , it seems effortless , spontaneous and fresh . ryan smoothly moves between spunky and vulnerable , with a sexy touch of winsomeness added to the brew . their scenes together sparkle , even though they lack the nostalgic romanticism of sleepless in seattle . and the shadow of that earlier hit hangs over you've got mail like dried-up mistletoe . the sparks created by the earlier movie are , by necessity , not evident here . true , these are two people seeking true love , but you've got mail is more comic and less poignant than its predecessor . the ephrons' script is witty and sharp . however , as a director nora ephron is a bit uneven . some scenes drag , while others , especially when hanks and ryan are revealing their souls via e-mail , are crisp and tidy . also , the script gets sloppy toward the end with characters merely disappearing from the story . a nice , romantic soundtrack adds to this date-night special . overall , you've got mail is a lush and cute outing , taking advantage of the star appeal of its two leads . it's a nice holiday movie , one for holding hands and snuggling . committed to lifelong learning through effective communication
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Positive
gere , willis , poitier chase each other around the world the jackal a film review by michael redman copyright 1997 by michael redman when the soviet union imploded , the western countries lost their shadow . with the united states friendly with the russians , we no longer had an entity to blame for the world's problems . this showed up in hollywood films as the communist government was no longer the easy bad guy . it's time to rejoice because we've found our new villain . now it's no longer the russian government who sends killers out into foreign lands , it's the russian _mafia_ . a perfect solution , it combines the dread of organized crime and the still-present uneasiness with the former eastern block countries . best of all , the villains are still foreigners : fear of the other always plays best . so it is a crime lord in moscow that sends legendary hitman the jackal ( bruce willis ) to assassinate a highly placed us government figure in retaliation for the death of his brother during a nightclub raid . the fbi is at a loss as to how to protect the target from someone they're not sure even exists . coming to their rescue is former ira operative declan mulqueen ( richard gere ) who is temporarily released from prison to assist fbi agent carter preston ( sidney poitier ) and russian major valentina koslova ( diane venora ) . mulqueen's ex-girlfriend basque terrorist isabella ( mathilda may ) is the only person who has seen the elusive jackal . ( presumably there is an exclusive international terrorist club somewhere where the three met . ) the film follows two parallel tracks as the jackal prepares for his $70 million hit and mulqueen attempts to locate him while preston makes sure that the irishman doesn't slip away . crossing numerous borders and donning various disguises for both himself and his mini-van , the killer is always one step ahead of his pursuers . being very loosely based on the same book the 1973 thriller " the day of the jackal " , comparison between the two films is inevitable . there is no doubt that the original is the better movie , playing the story for suspense rather than the current action/adventure . as a mystery , " the jackal " has enough holes in it to ruin the tale , but if you can accept it for what it is , there's entertainment to be had . holes ? let's see ? a pivotal clue for mulqueen is so obscure that he must possess psychic powers to pick it up . for a 20-year veteran that can command the big bucks , the jackal is an incredibly poor shot . the final scene between gere and willis occurs in a location that should be mobbed with police , but it's just the two of them . willis' disguises usually look like bruce willis and are just as interesting as val kilmer's in " the saint " . ( and lest you misunderstand , that's not a compliment . ) but the three stars are fun to watch . it's good to see gere in something other than a business suit . willis has a mixed history in picking projects , but his characters are always watchable . poitier is by far the superior actor , but has limited screen time . the problems in logic are flaws , but don't ruin the experience . occasionally there are movies that transcend their blemishes . this is one of them . [the appeared in the 11/20/97 " bloomington voice " , bloomington , indiana]
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Positive
guilt . guilt is something i felt while watching basic instinct for the ninth time ; the penultimate t & a thriller , basic instinct made my last few teenage years worth living . but i know so well that it's a terrible film , made by a terrible director incapable of feeling guilt . verhoeven went on to make the even more offensive showgirls and , on november seventh , 1997 , unleashed starship troopers to innocent moviegoers like me , who cannot control the urge to see giant bug movies . the pic begins with the most unintentional laugh of the year . a simple , white on black title card reads " starship troopers " -my friends and i speculated that the night before the prints were shipped , verhoeven realized he forgot the credits . is this how a hundred million dollar movie should open ? were the rest of the film that subdued . . . starship troopers is about a group of white , blond-haired himbos and bimbos who all have spanish last names . they graduate high school , join the military , and then , rather curiously , decide to travel to an alien planet and destroy all lifeforms on that planet . the story is so incomprehensible , and told so bombastically , it's akin to 129 minutes of someone screaming punishments at you in a foreign tongue . ( aside , club lovers will be happy to know that dance music hasn't changed in the future . ) one plus : starship troopers contains some very funny sequences , specifically the newsreels of the future . hysterically funny , actually . but the cynicism of these reports left me curious as to whether verhoeven felt pessimistic about the story in between . the storytelling lacks focus , to say the least . the politics of the film are scary . the actions of the major female characters are dictated by their out-of-control libidos . there's even a creepy sex scene : the lovely dina meyer makes out , nude , with the sickening van dien while half her face is covered by her opaque sweater , just the way he seems to like it . i use the term sickening because van dien is the least appealing actor i've encountered in a big budget picture ; all chiseled features and machismo , he even barks a eulogy at a funeral like military orders . of course , verhoeven's probably the one to blame , and perhaps i'm jealous because i'm so disgusting . at any rate , a movie called starship troopers shouldn't be about sex . exactly ten years ago , verhoeven made robocop , which was about nothing but skillfully made and oddly moving . and r-rated , despite its goofy premise . maybe it's asking too much for verhoeven to make a pg-movie , then-he's a master of insipid violence . however , ten year old boys would adore starship troopers if they could see it .
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Negative
men in black is an explosive mix of science fiction , action , and comedy that hits the target in every possible way . although another alien movie , men in black succeeds in every way that independence day didn't , and towers above many other movies of its type . the brilliant acting , especially by tommy lee jones as agent kay , is also as good as it gets . director barry sonnenfeld , who was behind the camera for the addams family movies and get shorty , has crafted a masterpiece . the story behind men in black is just as interesting as you would want it to be . the men in black , or mib , are a top-secret governmental agency that is not known to exist . the mib are responsible for " saving the world from the scum of the universe " . a though job , indeed . the film opens with a truckload of illegal aliens ( the human kind ) being transported across the mexico border and into the united states . presumably , these " aliens " are all migrant workers . that is , until the mib show up and begin interrogating them . agent kay selects a particular suspicious worker and takes him away from the other local authorities to discover that he is not an illegal human alien , but a real extra-terrestrial alien . when the alien makes a run for it , agent kay is forced to eliminate the alien with one of the mib's very unique weapons , and after one of the local law enforcement officers witnesses this bizarre occurrence , agent kay is forced to use another very unique device on them . the device , described as " out of state " , eliminates the memory of anyone it is used on . >from here , we are introduced to james edwards , played very well by will smith . edwards , a police officer , is chasing a fleeing criminal . the criminal gives a very good chase , and at one point when edwards confronts him , the criminal pulls out a very different looking weapon that disintegrated when it hit the ground . edwards continues to chase the very athletic criminal to the top of a building , where the criminal informs edwards that he must let him go , because someone is after him . edwards doesn't take this seriously , but when the criminal shows very non-human characteristics and leaps off the building , he begins to wonder . back at the police station , agent kay shows up to ask edwards a few questions . he informs edwards that is was , in fact , a non-human that he was chasing , and that the gun he pulled out was definitely not man-made . he has edwards identify the gun , and asks edwards to come to the mib headquarters the following day . edwards arrives and finds that he is involved in a recruiting process , along with various other men who seem a bit more qualified than he . after goofing up for half of the time , edwards puts on a show at the firing range , and agent kay notes the reason why he feels edwards should be the man to join the mib : he chased down the " criminal " on foot , which is something that no one is supposed to be able to do . in the meantime , an upstate new york farm has a very close encounter . edgar ( vincent d'onofrio ) , owner of the farm , investigates a strange crash landing and is attacked by the inhabitant of the flying object , which presumes to jump inside edgar and use his body as a human transport . the " bug " , as he is called , is an intergalactic terrorist who has come to earth to attempt to kill two ambassadors . and it up to the mib , with newly recruited agent jay ( formerly james edwards ) to exterminate the bug and save the planet from intergalactic war . men in black delightfully combines fast-paced action with often hilarious comedy , which is usually from will smith , although tommy lee jones opens up his comedic personality in this film . the special effects are also very well done and are not the entire source of the plot , as in another big alien film from the past summer . screenwriter ed solomon , writer of super mario bros . and the upcoming x-men film , has surely struck gold with this story . all ages will enjoy men in black . it is an extremely fun film that you will want to see again . although it runs a very quick and speedy 96 minutes , the entire film from beginning to end is a non-stop adventure . the ending of the film , which ties up a few loose ends for one of the main characters , is also very well done . a sequel is already being planned , so there is more to look forward to !
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Positive
kids today , they don't just want to see heartthrob and master thespian freddie prinze jr . loving on the ladies . no , they want to see him doing something that takes a little more in the acting department : namely , playing baseball . through a series of drippy voiceovers , we are informed that there's no better proving ground for major league baseball than the cape cod summer baseball leagues , where college also-rans and hopeful dropouts go to play in the hopes of attracting big league attention . our man freddie has landed a spot as a pitcher on the prestigious chatham a's , where he is hoping for his big break . it's only after he is given ample time to show off his abs and scamper about in a woman's thong ( don't ask ) that we learn what the real story of summer catch will be : that prinze is a poor townie named ryan dunne , struggling to make a name for himself ; that neither his father ( fred ward ) nor brother ( jason gedrick ) pulled themselves out of their blue collar jobs and resent anyone who tries ; and that the local beauty tenley -- tenley ! ( jessica biel ) -- is so far out of his league that he probably shouldn't even bother . . . but of course he makes a play for her . summer catch also makes an abortive stab at another half a dozen subplots -- the jealousy of fellow townie and brazen slut dee dee ( brittany murphy ) , the alienation felt by ryan's non-baseball playing best friend ( gabriel mann ) , or the fat chick fetish of fellow player miles ( marc blucas ) . worst of these is a ludicrous bit involving that '70s show's wilmer valderrama and beverly d'angelo , both of whom appear in the film simply to provide a nutty mrs . robinson-like substory and to remind you of how much better done that was in bull durham . in fact , virtually all of summer catch feels like it's been done better somewhere else . for starters , the film has a major question of identity . it's definitely not a sports movie , and it fails pretty miserably at being a romance . the worst part is the amateurish script ( co-written by an arli$$ writing alumnus and a guy that starred in leprechaun 3 ) , chock-full of phony emotion . by the end , it all becomes a platform for each character to deliver a soliloquy to ryan that he must take to heart . dad is on hand to give fatherly yet drunken advice . coach ( brian dennehy , just loving the fact that he's got some work on the big screen ) is on hand to give the curmudgeonly counterpoint . ryan's catcher ( matthew lillard , playing himself again ) is on hand to tell ryan to " play catch " with him and make fun of the fat fetish guy . ryan's stoner best friend is on hand to give the go-get-'em-tiger-we're-behind-you talk . and the girlfriend is on hand to give heartwarming-nuzzly-follow-your-dreams counsel . before long , you start to wonder : is freddy prinze jr . is capable of having a thought of his own ? don't answer that . the only real joy in the film is found in biel's character , and not just because of the skimpy outfits , which are also usually wet . she's the only one in the movie that is able to do much with her role , taking the rebelling-against-daddy character to at least a passing grade . when she's on screen , the time flies by . when she's not , you realize that for some ungodly reason this movie is almost two hours long . for a pg-13 teen romance ( despite near-constant sexual innuendo ) , one has to ask warner brothers : what were you thinking ? ? ? for her part , biel has fallen so far from her 7th heaven roots that she has almost become denise richards . hollywood is either about to eat her alive . . . or vice versa . either way , good luck , jessica . as for freddie , if he keeps pumping teen romances out at the rate of two a year , prinze's next " summer catch " is liable to be a venereal disease .
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Negative
warren beatty's " bulworth " is a caustic political comedy that doesn't attack any particular political group , but rather the ingrained insincerity that has infected the american political system . some might think this film is vulgar , and in many ways it is . however , as loud and raucous as it is , " bulworth " speaks the truth , which is almost always ugly to hear . beatty , who directed the film and co-wrote the script with jeremy pikser ( " the lemon sisters " ) , stars as incumbent u . s . senator jay billington bulworth , who has one of the best politician names in cinema history . bulworth is a democrat , and in beatty's view , he is symbolic of everything that has gone wrong with the current democratic party . once an ideological liberal ( like beatty still is ) , bulworth has long since succumbed to the materialistic pressures of washington . instead of waging the battles for the impoverished and the downtrodden , which was once the calling card of democrats , bulworth has become another sell-out money hound - if he's not accepting illegal bribes from the insurance lobby or taking campaign contributions from the chinese , he's making wind-bag speeches that start with the amusingly clintonesqe statement , " america is standing on the doorstep of a new millennium . . . . blah , blah , blah . " when the film opens , it is a few days before the 1996 primary elections , and bulworth is sitting at his desk weeping because he realizes how corrupt he has become . in a fit of desperation , he takes out a $10 million life insurance policy from a dirty insurance rep played by paul sorvino ( part of a shady lobby deal to kill a threatening bill in committee ) , and then hires a hit man to kill him , although he doesn't know who the assassin will be , or when the hit will take place . knowing that he will soon be dead , bulworth unleashes his own brand of political rhetoric on the world , which is made up of politically incorrect truths about the state of american politics and the society in general . at a compton church , he tells the group of african-americans that they will have no power in the u . s . unless they " put down that malt liquor and chicken wings , and get behind somebody other than a running back who stabs his wife . " later , in a particularly hilarious sequence , bulworth mixes with the hollywood elite , then insults the quality of their movies and informs them that the only reason he's there is because " my guys always put the big jews on my schedule . " all throughout this physically and politically suicidal escapade , bulworth's chief of staff , dennis murphy ( oliver platt ) , follows behind in a state of constant shock and bewilderment . platt has some of the movie's funniest scenes , as he makes murphy into a politically savvy but nonetheless clueless assistant who is forced to watch his own career teeter at the brink of being flushed down the toilet . his constant half-truth-telling and spin-doctoring to cover bulworth's stampede is equaled in its perversion only by a self-righteous reporter ( nora dunn ) who acts like murphy's refusal to explain bulworth's actions ( something he really cannot do ) is somehow an act of treason . when bulworth decides he wants to live after all , and therefore must constantly evade a grim-looking assassin to be who's trailing him at every turn , he hides out in the ghetto , complete with a stereotypical gangsta wardrobe which he wears to one of his television interviews . at this point , beatty abandons much of the political aspect and dives into a cartoonish exploration of the black inner-city experience . bulworth becomes friendly with a young black woman named nina ( halle berry ) , who he meets at the harlem church rally . she has a tough-talking brother who is deep in debt to a local gangster named l . d . ( don cheadle of " boogie nights " ) , who also becomes involved in bulworth's campaign . some of the scenes in the ghetto ring true , but much of it feels like a lighter version of scenes depicted in more intense inner-city films like " boyz'n'hood " ( 1991 ) and " menace ii society " ( 1993 ) . " bulworth's " chief liability is beatty's insistence on having his character adopt a clumsy style of rap as his new communication device . instead of speaking at political rallies , he breaks into a kind of rhythmless rap style that is a reminder of why almost all hip-hop stars are black . it's hard to tell whether beatty is being humorous by being so bad , or whether he's actually that incompetent . at any rate , the rap sounds more run d . m . c . than snoop doggy dogg , which makes the film seem dated instead of contemporary . beatty would have been better off simply adopting some of the inner-city lingo and working that into his speeches , instead of trying to sound like l . l . cool j . other than that , " bulworth " hits all its targets with wry , hilarious accuracy . the film is like a letter bomb to the democratic party , and even if you don't agree with beatty's liberal message about the unrequited duties of the federal government , it is hard to deny the impact the film has in exploring the monetary and moral debauchery that infests modern politics . unlike " primary colors " which opened earlier this year , " bulworth " doesn't try to tip-toe around the truly painful issues that hit close to home - instead , it takes them dead-on .
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Negative
the plot of big momma's house is martin lawrence in a fat suit and a dress . that's not just the high-concept premise ; it's the fully-realized , all-encompassing plot . such an emphasis is not unheard-of in the world of hollywood summer entertainment . one need merely look back to last summer , when the plot of big daddy was adam sandler being an incompetent surrogate parent . the trap inherent in such an approach is that the high-concept plot idea better be pretty well-realized , or rest on the shoulders of an extremely talented performer , because you can bet there will be nothing else worth a second of your time -- not a developed character , not a provocative theme , not a witty twist . you will get 90-plus minutes of martin lawrence in a fat suit and a dress -- nothing more , nothing less . those who find martin lawrence more than an occasionally amusing screen presence may have a shot at enjoying the one-note dud that is big momma's house . others will simply stare , mouth agape , at its sheer unapologetic laziness . lawrence plays fbi agent malcolm turner , an undercover expert on a stakeout assignment with his partner john ( paul giamatti ) . dangerous convicted bank robber and murderer lester vesco ( terrence howard ) has escaped from prison , and the feds think he's headed for his former girlfriend and presumed-but-never-proved accomplice sherry ( nia long ) . sherry , however , has fled with her son trent ( jascha washington ) , possibly to visit her grandmother hattie mae ( ella mitchell ) , better known as big momma . indeed , sherry appears to be on her way , but big momma is headed out of town without knowing sherry is coming . that leaves master of disguise malcolm to go under very heavy cover as big momma and find out what sherry knows . big momma's house's bloodlines are certainly traceable to mrs . doubtfire -- director raja gosnell edited that film , and the makeup effects were similarly created by greg cannom -- but there's just as strong a whiff of tootsie in the main character's attempt to use his alternate identity to get closer to a woman . unfortunately , big momma's house makes a ridiculous decision neither of those other films made : instead of having the protagonist pose as a completely manufactured character unfamiliar to anyone elses , it places malcolm in the position of playing a friend and family member to several other characters . suspension of disbelief in big momma's house requires you to believe every other person in the film is blind and/or stupid , since no one notices that one big momma looks or sounds absolutely nothing like the other . of course , laughs trumps logic every time , and big momma's house probably still would have worked in spite of its utter disdain for common sense if it had just managed to be funny . and it misses its best possible opportunity for some great farce by ignoring the simple fact that the real big momma is set up as a foul-tempered beast , while malcolm has to be nurturing in order to get the information he wants out of sherry . unfortunately , no one involved appears to have the faintest idea how to deal with the comic gold mine involved in one real person pretending to be another , very different real person , so they fall back on an endless parade of sight gags : malcolm reacting violently to big momma's explosive diarrhea attack ; malcolm-as-momma schooling a pair of cocky teens in basketball ; malcolm trying to avoid detection as various prostheses give way at inopportune moments ; malcolm delivering a baby because big momma is the town midwife ( one of the few sequences that works ) . martin lawrence can be likeable enough at times , but there's no reason to care a whit about his budding romance with sherry because malcolm is never an independently significant character . he's just big momma without the makeup on . i won't waste time commenting on how ineptly the set-up of the escaped convict is employed , since it was clearly a waste of time to the film-makers . there are a few token scenes of lester looming as a threatening figure , but he's ultimately a distraction in a film that's really about its central visual incongruity ( and the accompanying lascivious glances at nia long's posterior ) . i'm never prepared to underestimate how appealing that idea may be to other people -- several million of them apparently found adam sandler as an incompetent surrogate parent appealing -- but i know that when a film-maker tries to throw a concept at me and pretend that it's an entire film , i duck out of the way . the gross implausibility of big momma's house might have been tolerable if it was seasoned with more big , cleverly-constructed laughs . its lack of big laughs might have been tolerable if its characters were at all relevant . big momma's house is ridiculous _and_ not funny . it's just a sad exercise in the jaded presumption that any scene should be considered wacky and hilarious if it involves martin lawrence in a fat suit and a dress .
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Negative
plot : lara croft is british , rich and kicks a lot of ass . she also likes to raid tombs but when the illuminata discover that all nine planets are about to stand in alignment for the first time in 5000 years , and that lara holds the key to time , well , needless to say , they want to nab it from her . oh yeah , lara also likes to sport a lot of tight shirts . . . hummana-hummana-hummana . . . critique : angelina jolie was great in this movie . there were also about three " action scenes " that were pretty cool to look at in this film . uhhhhhm , unfortunately the rest of the movie sucked ! bad dialogue , generic sidekicks and bad guys , a lame mystery , yoda-esque moments with mumbo-jumbo being sprouted about and even some crappy cgi near the end . all in all , this movie wasn't the horror show that some of the early reviews had warned us about , especially since every other scene does feature jolie's torpedoes begging to burst out of her lucky shirts , but it was quite the letdown nonetheless , especially when you consider the major opportunity that the filmmakers had here to create a cool , hip woman hero , based on a popular video game . i don't know , i guess you have to put most of the blame on director simon west , who didn't really tie the whole movie together all that well . the film lacked energy , a consistent pace and well . . . a fun time ! i felt kinda depressed while watching this movie . all that " father " crap was horrible and the dialogue given to poor john voight to recite was just plain embarrassing ( and i'm not even gonna mention his moustache . . . hehehe ) . why have this shite in the movie at all ? ! ? i especially hated the scenes in which some ghost-like figure , friend or child would ramble on about lara croft's father while all the time , i'm not giving one ounce of crap as to what they're talking about . i guess that's called lack of " character development " , right ? that's when a movie builds enough background into the characters on the screen , so that we could actually " get into " it and care about them . i didn't care about anyone in this movie , and was bored during most of its " let's explain why we're doing all this gobbledygook " moments . and even though i thought that jolie kicked some mighty ass ( damn , did she look sexy blasting those guns or what ? ! ? ) , everybody else around her was so goddamn boring ! her butler was a throwaway with no personality , her side-kick was supposed to be funny but just annoyed me every time he said the word " bugger " ( and he says it a lot , trust me ! ) and all of the so-called bad guys just spewed one-dimension ! they had no spark , no energy amongst them , and even though a few of the action scenes in the movie were cool ( see the trailer and you'll know which ones i'm talking about ) , the overall picture was lame and the dialogue and mystical bull-crap just buried it even further . also , for a movie that's supposed to be about all of these exotic locations , i wasn't necessarily impressed by any of its exterior shots , and even less so with its interiors , which all looked like they were shot in the same room . mind you , i won't go as far as to say that it's the " worst movie of the year " ( remember that i actually have to go see freddie prinze jr . movies also ! ) , but it's definitely the worst film that i've seen during this summer movie season ( of course , it's still early and i'm sure there are a few more garbage heaps coming down the pike ) . skip this one altogether and rent any of the indiana jones movies instead . . . trust me , you'll miss the boobs but end your night with some rock-solid porn and it's all good ! where's joblo coming from ? raiders of the lost ark ( 10/10 ) - the mummy ( 8/10 ) - lost in space ( 7/10 ) - the mummy returns ( 6/10 ) - the general's daughter ( 3/10 ) - romancing the stone ( 7/10 ) - wild wild west ( 3/10 ) - mission impossible 2 ( 7/10 )
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Positive
warning : anyone offended by blatant , leering machismo had better avoid this film . or lots of blood & guts , men against men and mano-et-mano stuff . in other words , it's a walter hill film ! with a john milius script ! i always picture these guys getting together and producing a movie between arm-wrestling matches . these films always contain male characters i have a very hard time identifying with , probably due to the likelihood that any meeting between them and me would result in my arm being ripped off and then my subsequent death by beating with said limb . and we got tough guys galore , here ; drug-running banditos by the dozens , all dirty and sweaty and pretty ill-tempered , overall ; a secret task force of army commandos who are in the area to cover-up ( supposedly ) any connection between the government and the drug runners ; and lots of shit-kicking texas dirt farmers who'd as soon shoot you between the eyes as look at you . in particular , we got nick nolte as one hard-ass texas ranger , powers boothe as the drug kingpin , michael ironsides as the leader of the secret army , and rip torn as the local sheriff . torn is the sympathetic figure of the group ; he smiles before shooting anyone . as to women . . . well , i've never seen jane fonda or meryl streep in a walter hill film , and at this rate , i doubt i ever will . women exist here to look good , comfort the man , and get argued over . gosh ! just like the old days . . . frankly , this is a pretty good movie , if you can accept the premise and can take the macho stuff . the cinematography is excellent , the cast of characters is broad and has texture , the script is quite good , and the film lets you keep up with what's happening yourself , without spelling it out to you . i appreciate a film that makes me have to think to keep up . finally , there's lots of sam peckinpah slow-motion shoot-ups .
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Positive
susan granger's review of " two can play that game " ( screen gems ) since the success of " waiting to exhale , " there have been several romantic comedies about african-american professionals . this female revenge fantasy , vivica a . fox plays shante smith , a stunning ad exec who seems to have reached the pinnacle of success : a mansion , a sporty car and an idyllic relationship with a hunky , hot-shot lawyer , morris chestnut . she's at a point in her life when she dispenses advice to her grateful girl-friends ( mo'nique , wendy racquel robinson , tamala jones ) . " when your man messes up , no matter how small it is , " she smugly decrees , " yuh gots to punish him . " so when she catches her hot man dancing at a bar with a smart and sexy rival , gabrielle union , she devises her own version of " the rules , " a 10-day " tough love " emotionally punishing plan to get him back . unfortunately , writer/director mark brown ( " how to be a player " ) breaks the cardinal rule of romantic comedy : you have to like the protagonist - and shrill , self-congratulatory shante smith is a smirking , superficial , spiteful shrew who doesn't realize that rational rules cannot always be applied to love . having her talk directly into the camera gets stale very quickly and the " day one , " " day two " title-card device underscores the tedium . comic anthony anderson scores as chestnut's boisterous best-friend , and singer bobby brown does a cameo as a scuzzy mechanic who's given a smooth makeover by ms . robinson . but the out-takes over the closing credits contain more humor than the film itself . on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " two can play that game " is smarmy if slick 4 , filled with misogynistic attitude and blatant product placements ( coca-cola , miller genuine draft ) but little else . in this r-rated ( for explicit sexual language ) , pseudo-hip battle of the sexes , the audience loses .
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joe versus the volcano is really one of the worse movies made in very recent memory . the strangest thing is that you would think nothing would go wrong with it . it has a solid cast with tom hanks & meg ryan as the lead roles . but you can never judge a movie by its cast . . . if there is one good thing about joe vs the volcano , it is that the plot is original . unfortunately , it is also incredibly stupid . the movie begins with joe ( tom hanks ) going to work . this opening sequence is very boring and slow . it shows joe walking to his office . but on the way , he has to wait in a long line passing by strange and slightly depressing scenery with obnoxious lighting . a sequence like this should take 2 minutes . here , it takes over 5 . . . it is obvious that joe hates his job . at his office , one of his co-workers is meg ryan . oddly enough , she plays 3 different roles in this movie ! ! joe leaves to go to a doctor's appointment . his doctor informs him that he has a " brain cloud . " this means that in a few months , he will die . so what does joe do ? quit his job , of course ! ! when he arrives home , joe meets an old man named graynamore ( lloyd bridges ) . graynamore tells joe that in order to get some important mineral for his company from an island , the natives need someone to sacrifice to their volcano to please their fire god . by a startling coincidence , the boat trip to the island takes a few months . by the time he reaches the island , he will almost be dead from the " brain cloud " anyway , so joe agrees . graynamore gives joe a credit card to buy everything he needs to go on this " great adventure " . joe goes on a date with meg ryan , his co-worker . the day before the boat trip , joe meets one of graynamore's daughters . she is also , surprise , meg ryan . except she looks more hippyish . they both have dinner and the next day , joe gets driven over to his boat . the lady that sails the boat is another one of graynamore's daughters . and , wonder of wonders , she is also played by meg ryan . as they sail to the island , meg ryan tells joe that the natives of the island have a craving for orange soda . after some stupid talking scenes , they also deduce that graynamore had his doctor be the one that joe went to . and that the " brain cloud " thing was made up ! ! they do plently of cheap special effects on the boat voyage . joe goes fishing and catches a hammerhead shark . this is a cheap gag that has been pulled off many times . but , to top it off , the shark is obviously rubber and fake ! ! one night there is a storm . a cheap-looking lightning bolt strikes the boat and everything is cast overboard . fortunately , joe and meg ryan manage to find some of the luggage that joe brought to sail . by pure luck , they get to the island . since the natives like orange soda , they wear soda cans as attire ! ! stupid or what ? ; ) before joe leaps in the volcano , he gets fed . right before he jumps , meg ryan pleads him not to . when joe decides to , she goes in with him because " she loves him " . now this is where the movie should end . but , unfortunately , the " cheesy ending " bug comes in . the volcano blows the couple out and into the ocean where they land on joe's luggage . they float to another part of the island as they watch lava pouring out of the volcano towards the villagers . i give this movie a . see it only if you're a film buff that enjoys a bad movie every now and then or if you really like tom hanks or meg ryan . . .
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saw an advanced screening of the movie sniper last night , and i have to say i wasn't too impressed . this film is about an expert marine sniper , played by tom berenger , who is teamed with a hot-shot-young-no-experience-never-killed-a-man new partner to take out some drug-kingpins and military strong men in panama . sound cliche ? that's only the beginning . billy zane ( memphis belle ) played the rookie , and never seemed to get a handle on his character . he was so contrary and pig-headed in the beginning , you just wanted to smack him . then he goes " crazy " from the pressure , but seems to immediately snap out of it . i'm not sure if the blame should lie with the directing , editing , scriptwriting , or acting . . . but it didn't all come together . i think berenger is a pretty good actor , and he looked great in the part , covered in camo , face painted , stalking through the jungle with his high-power rifle . . . but once again , his character was given some pretty bad dialogue , and didn't react too logically to many of the situations . there was very little logical development in these characters . my biggest problem with this film was it's tendency to put these two snipers in as * many * inches-from-death situations as possible . they began to resemble g . i . joes , the greatest american hero . and of course their almost supernatural accuracy with their guns was called upon to get them out of far too many close calls . now a lot of movies are stamped out of this mold , in fact that's what made die hard so much fun : the super-hero avenger type . so some will enjoy the action hero heroics , but i didn't think it fit with the nice tension that was built up in the earlier scenes , and the " real life " feel of covert operations in panama . a word must be said on the camera work , much of it was very nice . the jungles of panama ( or their stand-ins in this case ) formed a very picturesque background . . . and the drama of speeding bullets was captured using some nice trick photography . many have seen the slowed down " bullet-cam " following the projectile to its target . this was used well in the beginning to show the feverish nightmares berenger gets when remembering the moment of the kill . it was dramatic when used in flashback . . . but it seems the director liked the technique so much he started inserting these shots ( pardon the pun ) into the real time action . . . then it just seemed silly . all in all , not a real dog : there is some nice action , good atmosphere , and pretty photography . but the plot is pretty lame , the acting didn't form a cohesive whole , and far too much thisclosefromdeath heroics .
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so what do you get when you mix together plot elements from various successful sci-fi films such as close encounters of the third kind , 2001 : a space odyssey , apollo 13 and contact ? well , whatever it is , you'd sure as hell hope that it would be a thousand times better than this shoddy attempt at such a melange , considering the disastrous results we're left with here . this is a film that takes a little bit of everything , but ultimately adds up to a lot of nothing ! it's like i said . . . this movie sucks . plot : a rescue crew of astronauts is sent down to mars in the year 2020 , after an unknown energy force leads to a loss of contact with the previous gang of space aviators to visit the red planet . critique : extremely underwhelming is the best way to describe this movie . uneven , would be another . the trailer for this movie actually showed some promise , the buzz around it had been so-so , and even the film itself starts off with a decent first twenty minutes , all leading you to believe that it's actually going to go " somewhere " . but it isn't long before the entire movie downshifts into neutral , features more space walks than anything interesting on the cherry-colored planet , tries too hard to get us into the " pain " of some its characters and unsuccessfully tosses some romance into the mix . in a sci-fi movie ? well , i don't know , much of it just seemed like a bunch of nerdies talking techie jargon for about an hour and a half , only to figure out some big secret in the end , a secret which practically had me yawning with excitement . ultimately , this is a movie that starts off with a decent premise , joins the crew in their " misadventures in space " for the main crux of its journey , and eventually settles down for one of the most anti-climactic endings this side of contact . mind you , if you enjoyed that film's shrug-of-the-shoulders ending , you might just enjoy this frivolous ditty as well . of course , i don't remember contact having such obvious and painfully distracting computer generated effects at its end of story . ugh . what a friggin' mess . films like this generally get me wondering about the brass in hollywood again . didn't anybody recognize the crappiness in this script ? didn't they read the bad dialogue , the cheezy lines , the obvious derivative nature of the work ( mind you , with a director like depalma at the helm , that ain't saying much ! ) . of course , you can't really blame the brass for the inclusion of jerry o'connell in this fine crew of thespians . 'nuff said . neither can you blame them for depalma cranking up the juice on the film's musical score during the last fifteen minutes , presumably in order to wake the audience up ( okay , we get it brian , this scene is supposed to be powerful . . . wow . . . yawn . . . my ears hurt ! ) . so is anything salvageable in this movie ? sure . gary sinise does another great job , as does cheadle , the film doesn't completely bore you as much as it just moves along slowly without anything really interesting happening , and yes , the " sand-twister " effect that you see in the commercial is well done . other than that ? i guess i could say that i admire how filmmakers have become so much more devious in their product placement strategies . . . oops , did i say " admire " , i meant " am disgusted " ! all in all , this movie delivers very little in actual substance , offers two-bit dialogue masked in a lot of sci-fi mumbo-jumbo , pretends to be deep when really it's just sappy , and eventually just settles into an ending which , other than presenting us with a pathetic computer graphic as a part of the story , gives us little more to think about than how we might be able to get our money back for sitting through this rehashed dreck . go see the ninth gate . . . now there's a great movie ! and on a personal note , i think it's time for depalma to stop worrying so much about his proverbial 12-minute uninterrupted film sequences , and start worrying more about how crappy his movies are getting .
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i know what i would do with $4 . 4 million if i found it in a previously undiscovered airplane crash site , especially if i were with jacob and lou . ( huh ? ) well , in any event , that is the situation hank ( paxton ) finds himself in . he and his dim-witted brother jacob ( thorton ) and tubby friend lou ( brent briscoe ) come upon a large bag of cash inside a plane wreck . against his better judgement , hank decides to go along with the idea of keeping it rather than going to the authorities . the rest of the film is a question of who is going to die to keep this a secret , and is it worth it ? a simple wish lies along the lines of very bad things , clay pigeons and even fargo , and is kind of wrapped all into one little dark bundle . oh , and its much better than any of those . sam raimi took a departure from his normal freak-show horror-monkey films and made this stylish and intriguing picture . he really lets the audience sit back and watch the events unfold rather than force them down our throats as many directors prefer to do . i think raimi knew he had a winner on his hands and decided to direct the picture on a natural flowing course . one of the film's components can be linked to a recurring theme in terrence malick's the thin red line . in malick's three hour bore-a-thon , he makes an interesting attempt to link mother earth to his war story . it seemed nothing more than an occasional pretty cut to a field of flowing grass , a small bird , or a flowing body of water . sure , there were obvious metaphorical connections , but there was no subtlty to his efforts . raimi does a fine job of tying in a fox in a chicken coop and birds of prey to signify the future of the characters . i think most viewers may miss the comparison , but it is a very intriguing ingredient in the film . and then there's billy bob thorton , who is proof that the independent film industry is vital to the life blood of hollywood . if it can continute to produce people like thorton , hollywood will be ok . he gives a fantastic and devastatingly deep performance here . it is not as engrossing as his carl childers character in slingblade , but is is just as complex , if not more so . jacob is slow and simple , and yet we so often see him deep in thought . i wondered if he was thinking about things that he would never say ( or didn't know how to say ) or if he was just taking a long time to think about the thing he just said . here he really proves his worth as one of the best character actors in the industry . though the plot is somewhat unoriginal , it has a very appealing new twist in its characters . paxton gives one of the better performances of his career as the straight and serious leader of the group ( a far cry from chet in wierd science ) . perhaps bridget fonda is miscast as his advice-giving wife , but she certainly doesn't do anything ruin the picture . a simple plan can be included in the group of recent small hollywood films that is just dark and pretty un-redeeming . but at least this one has an important message , unlike so many of its counterparts .
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about an hour or so into " the jackal , " a character wandered around as people were being shot at in a big suspense sequence , and one of the audience members in the theatre i saw it in shouted out " i hope she gets killed now ! " at that point it hit me : i didn't care for any of the characters being played by actors i didn't really like . when the sole reason you care about a character being played by sidney poitier in a suspense film is because he's being played by sidney poitier , you know something's rotten in the state of denmark . every year , a couple films like this are released . you know : the cheap , action packed international espionnage film , featuring a semi-promising premise , some big-name actors ( usually bruce willis ) , and the hopes that some audience members will forget the cold war ended several years ago . this was the third one of '97 , following the very lackluster " the saint , " which featured an amoral costume changing bond wannabe ; and the surprisingly fun " the peacemaker , " featuring clooney and kidman trying to stop an almost untraceable villain . " the jackal " tries to mix both elements . and you thought " the saint " was bad . " the jackal " is loosely ( very loosely , i hope ) based on the 1973 fred zimmerman classic that i've yet to see , " the day of the jackal , " which featured ( apparently ) a suave hitman called the jackal , played by edward fox , trying to assasinate charles degaule . well , welcome to the 90s , where a sorta suave hitman , also called the jackal ( bruce willis ) , trying to kill the head of the fbi . . . or is he ? after being hired by a russian mob lord as a bit of vengeance for the murder of his brother ( killed in the opening scenes ) , the jackal romps all over the northen hemisphere , from helsinki to virginia , setting up an elaborate scheme wherein he'll be able to assasinate this person and still get away to live in seclusion . and like the saint , the jackal changes his look over and over and over again to elude people . the agent working on the case , cater preston ( sidney poitier - yes , that sidney poitier ) , working with a russian agent , valentina koslova ( diane venora - lady capulet from " romeo + juliet " ) , gives up early on and meets with an ex-ira man , declan mulqueen ( richard gere , putting up some tight competition between himself and brad pitt for worst fake irish accent of '97 ) who's in a massachusetts jail , but who has apparently seen the jackal , who has been eluding the law forever . soon , he's out working with the two untrusting agents , and trying to help them catch him . there are numerous problems with the film , and which one is the biggest one is pretty impossible to put a finger on . the film is supposed to be a big suspense thriller , but save a couple moments , the film never achieves suspense , or even a sense of intrigue . sure , the big assasination attempt is a bit cool looking and even slightly tense , but every other scene in the film is too short and too dull to register . the film never picks up enough to become a thrilling experience , or even an entertaining one . it doesn't help that the plot is designed to be complex , but falls into so many problems , like plot holes and unbelievable circumstances . the script of " the jackal " is a complete mess , mostly because it can't decide what it wants to focus on . is this a film about a man trying to find redemption by catching a nasty killer ? is it a film about a nasty , amoral hitman who's in everything for the money ? or is it a combination of both ? " the jackal " aims for the latter , but never focuses in on either character . the connection between the two feels completely edited , so much that in a scene when the jackal turns around and notices declan , you wonder how he recognized him so fast . the worst part is the little past they try to give declan , most notably his relationship with an old girlfriend , isabella ( mathilda may ) , given so little screen time that you almost forget her character exists until she pops up every now and then . the supporting characters are worse . sidney poitier is given a completely unplayable role , that of a man who is just stern sometimes , and other times more giving and likable . what is poitier doing here ? he's one of the best living actors ! does he really need to waste his time doing drivel like this ? diane venora's russian character is almost as bad , with a cigarette perpetually in her mouth , and a plastered on expressionless facade . it's not that anyone's bad here ; it's that they have nothing to do . the plot is a joke , feeling like it was pasted together by someone in post-production who dropped each scene on the floor and pasted them together quickly so it could be released on time . the jackal himself is not even much of an international villain . there are several times where he's in a tight situation and makes things worse for himself , the only explanation being that the filmmakers wanted to toss in a cheap thrill . take a scene where he's being followed by some agents into a parking garage : he quickly sprays his car another color , and adds a solvent that if touched kills the person who touched it . doesn't killing someone attract more attention than it does distract ? and does he think dying his hair bottle blond makes him fit in in a public place ? geez ! is there anything good here ? well . . . a couple things . i did like willis's icy expressions ; he may not have been real suave or anything , but some of his looks are worth a chuckle . richard gere has a couple of good moments , making his character as likable as he possibly could have . and a couple sequences are kicky in that kind of proposterous , completely inane but fun kinda way , most notably : a sequence where he tests out a new gun on an annoying gun builder ( jack black ) ; and a bit where he seduces a gay washington man , which has its share of a couple good jokes , most particular a kiss by willis . but none of these elevate the film any higher than it could go ; they're just little distractions along the way to amuse us mildly then toss us back into the world of dullness and stupidity that is " the jackal . " director michael caton-jones ( who directed the far superior " rob roy " ) has made a film that is made very couple months , one that is unentertaining , unintriguing , and pretty much cold , but will nevertheless make money because , hey , the trailers do make it look like it may be fun in that kind of retro-clancy kinda way . every now and then , the filmmakers get it right ( " clear and present danger , " which was enormous fun in that smart kinda way ) , but " the jackal " is an example of when they go completely wrong .
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sometimes i find 19th century british costume dramas a little hard to relate to . it's not the time or the distance , it's the rules and conventions of a social class that deserves resentment rather than sympathy . yet somehow , the movies are all well made and i always get caught up in the story . the wings of the dove fits the pattern . kate ( helena bonham carter ) and merton ( linus roache ) are in love . merton , a newspaper writer , would like to marry kate . but kate's " job " , if you will , is to be a member of the british upper class . her father lost all of her family's money , but a wealthy aunt agreed to take care of her until she married a nice rich man . naturally , a newspaper writer's wages don't count as " rich . " kate leads him on , but she always ends up giving him the cold shoulder , ultimately because he's not marriageable . kate's american friend millie ( alison elliot ) stops in for a visit on her way to venice . at a party , millie catches a glimpse of merton and likes what she sees . kate realizes that if merton were introduced to millie , he might forget about her . it appears that she is trying to spare him from the heartbreak of their inevitable breakup . merton sees what kate is doing and resents her for it . he is still in love with kate , and will accept no substitute . the three of them , along with a fourth friend ( elizabeth mcgovern ) end up on holiday in venice together , where their interactions are quite complicated . let's sum up : millie has fallen for merton . merton has no feelings for millie because he is still in love with kate . kate loves him but can't marry him , so on the one hand she's trying to match him up with someone who will make him happy , but on the other hand she's jealous of them as a couple . a clear solution presents itself to kate when she realizes that millie is very sick - dying , in fact . at this point she decides that merton should marry millie until she dies . millie will leave her money to merton , who will then be rich enough to marry kate . she lets merton know of her schemes and , since it will help him win kate , he reluctantly agrees . kate leaves venice so that the two m's can be alone together . merton finds that pretending to love millie is a lot like actually loving her . he's not sure he can separate the two . kate finds that she's not so sure she really wants her merton falling in love with and marrying anyone else . the brilliant scheme proves to be painful to all involved . without revealing the details , suffice it to say that the situation ends badly . the title refers to the object of merton's vain hope that something might lift him from his predicament . one is left with feelings of regret and despair . what started as such a promising relationship was damaged by greed , anger , and jealousy . an interesting thought struck me after the movie was over , and that is that the wings of the dove almost fits the story line of a film noir . a couple conspires to cheat someone out of their money so they can live happily ever after . their involvement in the deception makes each less attractive to the other , and after a few things go wrong , the whole idea seems like an awful life-ruining mistake . i wouldn't call the wings of the dove a film noir , but the comparison is interesting . as i have acknowledged before , i am not a wonderful judge of acting , but i liked the performances from roache and elliot . roache successfully conveyed his character's ambivalence toward millie : near the end , he hugs her , at first staring into space , as if he's thinking about his plan with kate , then giving that up to fully embrace millie . millie's part didn't require as much range , but elliot gave her the necessary bubbly personality that made her irresistible . i will probably file away the wings of the dove in the same low-traffic corner of my mind as sense and sensibility and persuasion . their settings are far removed from my personal experience - geographically , historically , and socially . still , the movies are well made and the stories inevitably win me over .
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Positive
i remember making a pact , right after `patch adams' , to not be easily be suckered by movies dripping with sentimentality . but darn it , `music of the heart' is just layered with feel-good material and bright characterizations . it's hard to dislike a movie that uses such skill with it's manipulation . in addition , it's also a terrific family film . this is the true story of violin teacher roberta guaspari , who fought the school board to keep the musical program active in a handful of inner city harlem schools . it could also be described as `mrs . streep's opus' . yes , meryl streep brings her dramatic clout to the demanding role of guaspari , and that brings both good news and bad . out of the gate , possibly because of her distracting star power and the rushed writing , it is relatively difficult to identify with roberta's character and grasp her academic point-of-view . she is very strict with her students , but what insight does that create into the story ? slowly but surely , we begin to recognize the intentions of the character , and show admiration for the thoughtfulness and human feeling that streep has once again applied . one thoroughly interesting fact about `music of the heart' lies with the unlikely presence in the director's chair : horror veteran wes craven . after leaving an impression with the `scream' films and the original `nightmare on elm street' , craven has attempted a precarious cross-over to drama . at first , his inexperience with the genre is fairly obvious , but as the film progresses craven finds a surprisingly comfortable niche with directing this material . it doesn't carry the heart-warming courage of `mr . holland's opus' , but `music of the heart' is casually assured and filled with little morsels of dramatic truth . the tag team of streep and craven works better than you would anticipate . yes , oscar could come calling once again for meryl streep , but it's the solid ensemble cast that makes `music of the heart' work . angela bassett displays her usual forceful stamina as janet williams , the principal at an inner city school who initially doesn't hire roberta because of her lack of experience . blue-eyed adian quinn is endearing , as always , playing a new love interest . gloria estefan also delivers in the tiny role of a supportive second-grade teacher , and the three lead actresses together produce a flaming fireball of estrogenic force . it's like a schoolteacher's version of `thelma and louise' , in a restrained but effective manner . the movie tackles more issues than just guaspari's teaching of violin . there's some powerful moments between roberta and her two sons , who must cope when their father leaves them for another woman . in it's dramatic build-up , the movie manages to produce some authentic moments of feeling and warmth . it's a good movie for anyone to see , although missing out on the experience would not be a life-altering decision . it's commendable of wes craven to be attempting such a difficult cross-over , and also for achieving his intricate goal . watching this heartfelt chick flick about morals and musical instruments , who may ask yourself : this is the guy who directed `scream' ? of course , when the third installment of that series comes around in february 2000 ( with craven directing ) , you may find yourself wondering : this is the guy who directed `music of the heart' ? mission accomplished , wes . thankfully , there is no layer of artificial sentiment covering the film . in it's entirety , it's a wholesome and agreeable movie for the whole family , despite the periodic flaws that surface every once in awhile . the child actors are cute and perform up to par , even if some of their problems are clich ? d and predictable in the extreme . the mother who doesn't want her son to be learning `white man's music' , the unexpected casuality . . . basically everything is there . it doesn't strike the perfect chord , but `music of the heart' is highly convincing . the uplifting true story of roberta guaspari could have been told better , but `music of the heart' is still edifying enough to properly divulge her morals .
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Positive
it's tough to really say something nice about a type of person who's so ethnocentric that any humanity they once had is now gone , but by god , " american history x " does it , and for that , i commend it . it not only takes balls but intelligence to make a human being out of a neo-nazi skinhead , a kind of person who dedicates their lives to hating anyone who's not what they are , and this film wisely and miracurously pulls it off . the subject of this film is one of them , but he is worse than one of the blind followers that make up most skinhead members since he is the leader of the pack . he's the one who instigates them to take a firm grip onto their rage , and then in another brilliant stroke , justifies it with political propoganda that makes eerie sense when he speaks . he's so utterly convincing as a public speaker and so firm in his convictions that it comes as a shock when he actually goes through the rehabilitation process . his name is derek vinyard , and he's played by edward norton with so much fire and intensity that when he speaks he's almost as convincing and arresting a public speaker as , say , malcom x . when we first see him , he's clean shaven , with a jet black swastica emrboidered on his left breast , a devlish goatee , and he's attacking the black carjackers outside of his house dressed in nothing but his white boxers and carrying a handgun in his hand that never seems to run out of bullets , at least when he doesn't need them . he so believes in his convictions that he's willing to put his beliefs to the test , even if he knows it will mean a stop in prison , if only for a couple years . " american history x " is about derek , how he became a neo-nazi skinhead , how he rose to power , how he was rehabilitated in prison after murdering two black men in a fit of rage that was less to do with the stealing of his car and more to do with proving himself , and how he tried to save others , namely his younger brother , from making the same mistake . we see him at all of these stages - as a smart teenager , a vicious hate monger , a man having an epiphany , and the man who tries to correct what he's done before - and in all of these , we get a portrait of a man from all sides . or at least , that's the intention . the film's framing device is his brother , danny ( edward furlong , perpetually looking about 13 ) , also now a skinhead , and how his principal , bob sweeney ( avery brooks , who i just found out was or is the captain on star trek's deep space 9 ) , is trying to " correct " him . when the film opens , danny has just written a book report on " mein kampf , " landing him in trouble with sweeney , which causes him to make him write a paper on derek's life and how it has gotten him nowhere . coincidentally , this day is the day derek is released from prison , and when we see him , he's cleaned-up , not as buff , and has a full head of hair . he's just as intelligent , but still very rough along the edges , but he's wisened up . he's no longer controlled by his anger at blacks and jews , and tries to persuade danny , who's becoming what derek was before , to give up his lifestyle . but danny won't . he goes to a large skinhead beer bash , meets with the skinhead leader ( stacy keach ) , and then discovers that derek is as opposed to neo-nazi-dom as he was for it a couple of years ago . the film circles around this , then spins off into non-linear flashbacks , all done in black and white . we mostly see derek at his prime as a skinhead , living in venice beach , organizing vicious and quasi-sadistic raids on local stores that no longer hire the white , middle-class teenagers since they can easily get cheaper illegal immigrants to do the same work , and mouthing off his theories on affirmative action and how illegal immigrants and blacks have destroyed the fundamentals this country was built on . to them , the white man is the one who has gotten the fuzzy end of the lolipop , and he not only speaks elloquently , forcefully , and intelligently , but he backs everything up with political reasons , justifying their rage at least to them . and frighteningly enough , much of what he says sounds true . " american history x " is a collection of really great scenes and moments , rather than a cohesive , great film that flows effortlessly from one moment to the next . in it , there are some of the best scenes i've seen all year . one scene features a dinner between derek's family , and his mother's newest boyfriend ( played with reserve by eliott gould ) , a jewish liberal who quietly disagrees with derek's rightist views , launching the scene into a fit of rage and anger that builds unparalled emotions in the audience ( gould's reaction to derek's final summation is unnerrving ) . another scene uses humor and traditional macho sex talk to build a friendship and a nice connection between derek and a black co-worker ( guy torry ) while folding laundry in prison . and another soon-to-be-classic is actually divided in two : the murder of the two black men that winds derek in jail , which contains a final murder so nasty that it may be the most revoltingly shocking all year . there's much more to appreciate , like the acting , which is uniformly good , with stand-outs coming from avery brooks , beverly d'angelo ( as the long-suffering mother ) , and gould ( who has one horrible line , but other than that , comes off with the best performance he's given in what seems like a really long time ) . norton walks off with the film , though , coming off with such intensity that he reduces anyone not doing an adequate job to rubble . in only the fifth movie of his career , norton has invented himself as one of the most reliable and intense actors of his generation , and maybe the best . there's nothing like it when norton really gets rolling in this movie , spewing out lines with such authority that he commands all attention from the audience , coming off with power similar to that of a young maron brando . that he allows the little emotions to seep through is amazing . sadly enough , this isn't going to be the great portrait of racism that it perhaps hopes to be . it's too unambitious and even a little contrived to really take off as either a powerful statement or an emotional masterpiece . the ending , especially , is pencilled in from other movies , tossed in just so the emotional keyboard can be trounced upon . some of the skinheads are reduced to mere cliches ( kevin smith regular ethan suplee fairs rather annoyingly as the " fat skinhead , " whose lines consist without fail of expressing his desire to eat more ) , and even the dramatic arc isn't as well travelled . furlong's danny never seems to really be learning a lesson , since the flashbacks refuse to show his point of view , and when he decides to make a change by the end ( which was inevitable ) , it doesn't seem like it has actually arrived there . even derek's descent into skinhead-dom doesn't seem justified . though his fireman father ( william russ , the dad from " boy meets world , " and don't ask me how i know that ) is killed by a black junkie , and even before he spoke against affirmative action intelligently , there never seems to be any real back story why derek became so intense about his beliefs . as such , one can see why the director , tony kaye , wanted to have his name removed . sorta . " american history x " is a very good movie , and i was very moved by it , but it could be a lot better , and the problem seems to be that the cut as it is is not up to what he claims to be his potential . somewhere , he claims , there lies a tony kaye cut , and that was to be the true cut until it was viewed by norton , who then ordered another cut , and that is thus . although he aimed for the directing credit to go to " alan smithee , " the resident name for any film that is to be disowned by its director , it wasn't allowed to him , under the grounds that once you disown a film , you can not badmouth it ( but really , that's the macguffin - no one really wanted a film this good to be given the alan smithee sign of disapproval ) . kaye's right in that it's not up to par , even if he's not referring to normal par but rather his own personal par . this will not be a " do the right thing " for the late 90s . yet it still gets its point across intelligently , and backs it up with its story ( its message , that one cannot be so enwrapped in one's own beliefs or pain and suffering will occur , is literally said over the narration , unfortunately ) . and even if it isn't perfect , at least when avery brooks turns to norton after he has been beaten and raped in prison , and asks him if anything he's done has made his life any better , it realy hits a nerve , not only in derek , but also in the audience .
pos
Positive
perhaps the most dramatic changes in the motion picture industry in this decade have to do with special effects . there is no question that action-adventure and science-fiction/action movies are now judged by the character of their light and noise . whereas classic adventure pics of the last twenty years , such as raiders of the lost ark , were made in grand traditional fashion ; contemporary films like jurassic park are multimillion-dollar creations of computer technology . the latest in this visually awesome series of movies , the wachowski brothers' the matrix , is a testament to the skilled use of special effects and its ability to enhance a movie's story . unlike many sci-fi movies which promote themselves as effects-heavy blockbusters but fail to deliver on that promise , the matrix is a carefully constructed special effects event . it runs 135 minutes in length and employs a countless number of computerized tricks which range from gimmick to grandiose , and the quality of the effects remains constant throughout the film's length . contrary to popular trend , the matrix commits itself to being a spectacle of light and sound . in this regard , the movie is something like a card sharp . with its flashy mass stripped away , the matrix would be quite shallow and untalented . the script is characteristically weak , and the dialogue suffers in lieu of a far more innovative visual approach . but , like the card sharp , the matrix wows its audience to such a high degree that actual content is irrelevent . the viewers don't care about what the matrix has to say as long as the next special effects sequence is right around the corner . and right around the corner they usually are , for the script tells a fast-paced , albeit frequently revisited story . as the movie explains , the world as we know it is nothing but an elaborate computer program constructed by an artificial intelligence for the purpose of placating mankind . billions of human beings lie in this dormant state while the intelligence -- the matrix -- " farms " our life energy . only a select group of individuals knows of the " real " world , and a particularly ingenious squad of these rebels is led by ultra-cool morpheus ( laurence fishburne ) . morpheus and his crew recruit a computer expert named neo ( keanu reeves ) , believing he is a prophesied individual who will help them overthrow the matrix and return peace to earth . the cast plays out this story in stylish fashion . the set design is very dynamic , running the gambit between cramped and dreary to bright and airy . the costumes , as well as the actors who wear them , add to the roles . for instance , the manifested antagonists in the movie , a group of " agents " created by the matrix in its computer program , all dress in matching secret servicewear ; the rebel fighters , on the other hand , dress in rich hues of leather . the casting cannot be criticized , for the typically stoic reeves isn't required to say much and laurence fishburne gets plenty of time to be so damn cool . supports in carrie-anne moss , joe pantoliano , and hugo weaving are all effectual . one of the best comparisons to thw matrix is last year's science fiction masterpiece dark city , particularly if one ponders how this same premise would've worked from a different approach . the alex proyas film was far more dark and introspective , requiring a bit of thought before themes became clear ; here , the wachowski brothers have managed to construct a thrill-ride motion picture with little abandon and much noise . the better picture between the two depends on the viewer , but the key to the success of the matrix is that the noise did not get in the way of the fun .
pos
Positive
originally launched in 1978 , this popular film was re-introduced in 1998 to a whole new generation of moviegoers . based on the mighty successful musical from broadway , grease was followed in 1980 with the less stellar grease 2 ( 6 . 5/10 ) , starring a young michelle pheiffer in one of her first feature film roles . plot : high-school musical set in the 1950's showcasing the relationship between the cool danny zuko of the t-birds ( travolta ) and the innocent and pure sandy olsen ( newton-john ) from australia . the film follows the couple and their vivacious friends during their last year at rydell high through song , dance and humour . critique : fun-loving , energetic and innocent look back at times much simpler . this movie effectively juggles a thin romantic story line and the overall experience of the 1950's , with a superb soundtrack and some great dance numbers . admittedly , i am somewhat biased in this opinion , since this film blasts me into my past as a rebellious youth ( grease was one of schmoe's first big-screen experiences , and every other scene sends me reeling into the times of my elaborate grease bubble-gum card collection ) , and the lesser responsibilities that i possessed at that time . but apart from the nostalgic vibe , i was still extremely impressed by this film , as it continued to amuse me , despite my previous dozen or so viewings . this film took john travolta from a dim-witted " sweathog " on tv's welcome back kotter , and transformed him into a movie-star of spectacular proportions ( saturday night fever ( 7 . 5/10 ) in 1979 confirmed that sudden popularity ) . unfortunately for the rest of the cast , his popularity was not terribly contagious , despite their effective showings in this classic movie . on the down side , some of the absolute innocence in this film might bore or turn people off ( like when sandy sings about " drinking lemonade " and " staying out until 10 " with danny in " summer nights " ) , and the plot isn't exactly the most elaborate story-line ever created , but despite these small reservations , this movie carries enough great music and high energy to keep anyone amused through its rapid 110 minute running time ( and believe me . . . i am not a fan of the musicals ! ! ) . make sure to look for a young lorenzo lamas in the static role of the brainless football player , as well as the national bandstand dance contest as one of the film's absolute highlights . and don't forget to buy the popular soundtrack afterwards , so that you could listen to its peppy tunes whenever you're feeling a little blue . little known facts : henry winkler , of tv's happy days' fonzie fame , turned down the part of danny zuko because he did not want to be typecast for the rest of his career . both travolta and conaway were smitten by newton-john during the filming of this picture . conaway eventually bowed out of the woo-fest , and married newton-john's sister a year later ( divorced after five years ) .
pos
Positive
from a major league baseball radio broadcast , featuring play-by- play man harry canary and color man whitey hashbrown , with special guest commentator james berardinelli . hc : as we go to the top of the 8th , we're joined in the booth by film critic james berardinelli , who's here fresh from seeing the new baseball movie , major league : back to the minors , the third in the popular saga taking a lighter look at the majors . nice to see you , jim . as a big baseball fan and a movie reviewer , can you give us the scoop on the new flick ? jb : my opinion : the producers should have stopped while they were ahead , and that was nine years ago . one entry was definitely enough , and i'm surprised there was a third after the anemic showing and low quality of major league 2 . this latest installment has all the earmarks of something that should have been released direct-to-video . it's worse than a mediocre made-for-tv feature . i should also mention that this movie likely won't play all that well in cleveland . now that the real indians are perennial contenders , they have been replaced by the minnesota twins as the cinematic sadsacks . actually , most of the action involves the twins' aaa minor league club , the buzz , rather than the actual major league franchise . hc : sorry to interrupt , jim , but we still have to do play-by-play for the game on the field . leading off this inning is john warren . he steps into the batter's box and takes kent's pitch low for ball one . wh : so , the story's strictly minor league , right ? what's it about ? jb : scott bakula , the guy from quantum leap , plays career minor league pitcher gus cantrell . when twins owner roger dorn , once again portrayed by corbin bernsen , needs a new manager for his aaa team , he offers the job to gus , who is now faced with two daunting tasks : turn the team around and groom hot prospect downtown anderson ( played by walt goggins ) for a promotion to " the show . " with the help of former major leaguers pedro cerrano ( dennis haysbert ) , rube baker ( eric bruskotter ) , and isuro tanaka ( takaaki ishibashi ) , gus gets the buzz on the right track . in fact , he is so successful that he earns the enmity of the jealous manager of the big-league club , leonard huff ( played with over-the-top relish by ted mcginley ) . soon , dorn has arranged an exhibition game that pits gus' overachieving group against huff's overpaid , last-place bunch . wh : can we guess who wins ? jb : the results have all the suspense of watching the videotape of a game when you've already seen the box score . on top of that , none of the mock-ups are presented with much flair . they're not just boring ; they're lackluster . but the major league movies have never been about drama or tension ; they've been about using baseball situations to generate laughs . hc : warren fouls off a fastball . 1 and 1 . wh : are there lots of yuks in this one ? jb : not one , from start to finish . i enjoyed the first major league because it was reasonably fresh and funny . okay , a lot of the jokes were sophomoric , but they made me laugh . the two sequels haven't just been stale , but their humor quotient has been abysmally low . even bob uecker's once-sharp one-liners have turned lame , and they're the closest the film comes to being even vaguely amusing . hc : here's the 1-1 pitch . looooooong drive ? fair or foul ? foul ball ! the count goes to 1 and 2 . wh : does the film at least get the baseball details correct ? jb : yes . there aren't any glaring errors like there were in one of the best-ever baseball movies , the natural . but i'd gladly trade a technically accurate film for one with a good story , believable characters , or even a little genuine humor . heck , the naked gun is a better baseball comedy than major league : back to the minors . wh : it's nice to see old friends one more time , isn't it ? like cerrano , tanaka , and dorn . jb : depends on whether you really care that anyone is back . there aren't any real characters here ? just an assortment of cliched oddballs . yeah , the voodoo hitter , the catcher who can't throw back to the pitcher , the japanese player , and the conceited player-turned-owner have all returned , but who really cares ? they have no depth . notable absences include tom berenger's veteran and charlie sheen's " wild thing . " we don't really miss them , though . hc : breaking ball , low and outside . 2 and 2 . wh : so you're saying that we should give this one a miss ? jb : that's right . to use baseball terminology , it's a three-pitch strikeout . if you're looking for a good movie that involves baseball , try popping the natural , field of dreams , bull durham , or even the first major league into the vcr . actually , this is an oddly-timed release , since baseball fans are likely to be spending more time in parks than in theaters . even the minor league seasons are already underway . don't bother with major league : back to the minors . it's a wretched time- waster . wh : thanks for the advice . jb : you're welcome . hc : and here's the 2-2 pitch . fouled back , right into this booth . hey , jim , heads up ! oops . somebody better get him some ice for that . he may be good at deflecting bad baseball movies , but he needs to learn not to duck into foul balls . odd how warren seemed to aim that ball right at him , almost as if he has a grudge to settle . anyway , back to the action on the field ?
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Negative
brian de palma's snake eyes stars nicolas cage's evil twin , who confusingly uses the same stage name as his talented brother . like a foreign tourist who screams his lines in english to ensure that he will be understood , cage yells with the ferocity of a man with a bad case of caffeine overload . de palma , whose last great film , the untouchables , was crafted over a decade ago seems to have lost his magic . in snake eyes , he manages to elicit some of the worst performances possible out of a skilled cast . only gary sinise rises slightly above the hackneyed material . the rest of the actors become caricatures in this by-the-numbers thriller . ryuichi sakamoto's atmospheric and melodramatic music dominates almost every scene . heavy on the long violin notes , its rhythm is punctuated by thunder . ( the script by de palma and lost world's david koepp sets the action during a hurricane in an attempt to pump up the adrenaline level and the noise . only the latter is achieved . ) cage plays rick santoro , a corrupt atlantic city cop who shakes down criminals to get betting money . the movie takes place over a single evening when a world championship fight is being held . with a flashy , bad wardrobe and a gold cell phone , rick is an obnoxious cop who doesn't know when to shut up . spouting cliched and ridiculous dialog , he screams such lines as , " i was made for the sewer , baby ! " actually the line is more apropos for the movie as a whole . sinise plays kevin dunne , a naval officer who is in charge of the security for the secretary of the navy , who has come to watch the fight . but most people in the film are not who they seem to be , and the thin script makes all of them easy to guess . the plot , which is told in endless flashbacks , concerns the assassination of the secretary through a scheme set up by some malevolent businessmen ? that adjective is , of course , redundant in hollywood thrillers . the flashbacks become repetitious with the same scene shown again and again , sometimes from a different perspective and sometimes not . although a brian de palma film requires a certain amount of gratuitous violence , this one is remarkably tame for the man who became famous when he made carrie . the movie's outline has some promise , but the movie itself is leaden . the film takes itself all too seriously . at best , it is a 1940s-style b movie . a little humor would have helped the script some , but a complete rewrite would have been better . and , although i hate to say it , a different director would have been the biggest improvement . snake eyes runs 1 : 39 . it is rated r for violence and would be acceptable for teenagers .
neg
Negative
american pie acknowledges a cold , hard fact that most movies don't : it is very difficult to get laid . its four virgin heroes are jim ( biggs ) , a chronic masturbator , kev ( nicholas ) , who desperately wants to deflower his girlfriend ( reid ) , oz ( klein ) , a lacrosse player whose approach requires some fine tuning , and finch ( eddie kaye thomas ) , a germphobe ( his crass nickname is hilarious , but i won't spoil it here ) who pays a classmate to spread rumours about the size of his member . jim , kev , oz and finch attend a high school in suburban michigan full of so many impossibly beautiful women it's no wonder they're horny all the time . after a party at their studly friend stifler's ( seann william scott , in the film's sharpest performance ) house leaves them sexually unsatisfied , the quartet make a pact : to " lose it " by graduation-specifically , prom night , which is only a few weeks away . american pie is in the tradition of bachelor party or revenge of the nerds . almost every conversation these characters have revolves around makin' whoopee . all women are there to be ogled . ( alyson hannigan's perky music student is the only memorable female of the bunch . ) situations abound that defy logic only to arouse and/or amuse its core audience , adolescent boys . ( to arouse : nadia's ( shannon elizabeth ) internet striptease-an unexpectedly raucous ( and guiltily pleasurable ) sequence . to amuse : jim's lusty encounter with a hot apple pie . ) what differentiates american pie from those dirty eighties comedies , aside from a very nineties obsession with bodily fluids * , is a cast that's light years more appealing than that of , say , just one of the guys . two more standouts : klein and " sctv " 's eugene levy . klein plays a kind-hearted athlete for the second time in a row , after alexander payne's underappreciated election . i hope to see more of this warm actor with the disarmingly honest face very soon . levy's is the most crowd-pleasing performance , and indeed , it's nice to see him back on the big screen in a role that makes wonderful use of that expressive brow . american pie also wants to emulate the teen flicks your parents _would_ let you watch growing up . it skillfully employs a broad mix of pop tunes , much like john hughes' movies did , and even pays homage to the breakfast club a couple of times , most evidently when the prom band covers simple minds' " don't you ( forget about me ) . " the picture ultimately has a healthy , if obligatory , attitude towards safe sex-even at their most libidinous , american pie's protagonists first whip out a condom . the filmmakers prove that socially responsible raunch is possible . for its familiarity and for its charming leads , i recommend american pie , but the buzz on this film had me expecting something . . . fresher . as far as the new teen cinema goes , it's at the top of the heap . * don't say i didn't warn you about the party scene .
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Positive
one of my colleagues was surprised when i told her i was willing to see betsy's wedding . and she was shocked to hear that i actually liked it . her reaction was understandable when you consider that the film revolves around molly ringwald , who hasn't made a worthwhile film since 1986 . but the fact is , betsy's wedding is also an alan alda film . and while ringwald has been making duds for the last four years , alda has been involved with several noteworthy projects , including crimes and misdemeanors and a new life . written and directed by alda , betsy's wedding is a vibrant slice-of-life , mixing a few dramatic moments into a big bowl of whimsical humor . alda's comic elixir is smooth and refreshing--and a welcome change of pace from the usual summer fare . as bride and groom , molly ringwald and dylan walsh are the pivotal characters in the film , but they are by far the least interesting . walsh is a nonentity , with all the screen presence of a door knob . ringwald is simply unbearable and is easily the weakest link in the chain . she looks hideous with her short-cropped orange hair , red lip-stick and grotesque outfits . she's supposed to be a dress designer , but she looks more like a clown . and to make matters worse , ringwald's performance matches her appearance . thankfully , alda keeps ringwald's screen time to a minimum ; he is far more interested in the colorful periphery characters . the wedding is just a device to bring together the bride's working-class , italian family and the groom's rich , gentile family . ringwald's folks are homey and down-to-earth , with alda as her free-spirited father , madeline kahn as her practical mother , and ally sheedy as her lonely sister . walsh's clan , on the other hand , is prim , proper and ostentatious . when the two families meet and mingle , the movie becomes a story of culture clash , or as one character puts it , " money versus values . " ally sheedy , in a wonderfully understated performance , is one of the film's most pleasant surprises . sheedy expresses more with just her eyes than ringwald does with her entire body . it's anthony lapaglia , however , who seizes the spotlight . lapaglia plays stevie dee , a suave , overly polite mafioso who is formally courting sheedy with old-fashioned chivalry . lapaglia's sincere but dim-witted character is a riot . and what's uncanny is that lapaglia is a dead ringer for robert de niro , with a little bit of alec baldwin thrown in for good measure . lapaglia seems to have attended the de niro school of gangster acting , and his inspired performance is partly a tribute to his role-model and partly a rip-off . i don't know whether to say a star is born or a star is re-born , but i do know that lapaglia's over-the-top performance should not be missed . the scrumptious comic acting , however , extends well beyond sheedy and lapaglia . joe pesci , in particular , sinks his teeth into his role as alda's unscrupulous brother-in-law , a slum lord with mob ties , who is cheating on his wife ( catherine o'hara ) . alda , faced with challenge of both directing and acting , somehow finds just the right comic touch as the bride's financially-strapped father , a carpenter whose dreams are bigger than his wallet . the film adopts alda's psychological point of view as he tries to one : plan the wedding , and two : pay for it . as a filmmaker , alda's style of humor is remarkably restrained and tasteful . and while he doesn't have the comic genius of a woody allen , alda does possess the inspiration to make movies which are ten times more entertaining than the slop which usually passes for comedy .
pos
Positive
mickey mouse had better watch his back -- there's a new critter in town , and he's the nameless animal attraction of " mouse hunt , " dreamworks skg's clever first foray into family fare . although it runs out of steam towards its end , this live-action comedy still boasts enough energized slapstick and inventive set pieces to best disney's entire 1997 non-animated , kiddie-oriented catalog . . . but consider that list includes dismal tripe like " air bud , " " flubber " and " that darn cat , " and it's really not such a difficult feat to pull off . still , throw the two rodents in a boxing arena , and i'll be hoping that the mouse from " mouse hunt " knocks some sense back into mickey . nathan lane ( robin williams' significant other from " the birdcage " ) and lee evans ( last seen as a nervous bellhop in " the fifth element " ) play ernie and lars smuntz , befuddled brothers who have just inherited two unwanted assets from their late father ( william hickey , in his last role ) -- a dilapidated old string factory and a dilapidated old mansion . although lars made a deathbed promise to upkeep the former , he and ernie decide to sell the latter for big bucks after learning it was designed by a famed architect . but there's a lone obstacle in their way -- a single mouse lives within the walls of the house , and he's not about to give up his place of residence without a fight . movies aimed at young audiences are rarely this visually exquisite . the effects blending the talents of 60-some live mice , one animatronic mouse and one computer-generated mouse are pretty seamless . the splendid production design seems to be straight out of tim burton's mind ; the smuntz's architecturally-unsound mansion is like something straight out of " the nightmare before christmas , " and the vortex of bizarre machinery in their factory resembles some of vincent price's warped contraptions from " edward scissorhands . " " mouse hunt " is a pretty dark movie -- even some of the humor can be grim -- but it's hardly ever mean-spirited . the star of the show is neither the top-billed lane nor the titular mouse . it's lanky british comedian evans , whose hysterical bodily antics suggest a cleaned-up jim carrey without the obnoxious overkill ( note a toned-down but nonetheless outrageous impromptu striptease ) ; evans' banter with the ever-affable lane is funny stuff , too , and holds its own against the movie's more flashy physical shtick . vicki lewis ( beth from " newsradio " ) is solid in a supporting role as lars' money-grubbing wife . and in a nifty bit of novelty casting , christopher walken is a macabre delight as a spooky exterminator who takes his job a little too seriously , popping a dropping into his mouth and noting to his tape recorder that the mouse has a " calcium deficiency . " blech . a basically one-joke idea -- a mouse outsmarts a couple of bumbling humans -- is given a rather engaging execution . their sparring is imaginatively realized ( i don't think i'll ever forget the sight of that tiny little mouse making his getaway on a rolling wheel of gouda ) , and although you really never fully root for either side , that's okay -- a warm-and-fuzzy union between the two parties is practically promised from the first frame they share . " mouse hunt " may take a while to get going ( the rather lengthy set-up could test the patience of some of the younger children , although i rather liked it , much in part to lane and evans ) , and the climactic sequence is allowed to play out for a bit too long , but this appears to be one family movie that most members of the family will be able to find agreeable , not unlike the original " home alone . "
pos
Negative
house on haunted hill ( 1999 ) starring taye diggs , geoffrey rush , ali larter , famke janssen , peter gallagher , bridgette wilson , max perlich , lisa loeb , james marsters , and chris kattan . directed by william malone , written by dick beebe , " house on haunted hill " initializes itself to the audience with a scene involving zombie-like mental patients attacking and murdering doctors in the goriest ways possible . one doctor is killed instantly after having a pencil rammed completely through his neck . a nurse has her head forced into a barrel of water . these mobs of zombies presented are like those in previous b-horror flicks , with grunting noises and cadaverous movements . except this time , at the end of the millenium , the film is given the power to show exactly how horrific these creatures can be . in past horror films , the actual murder scenes are left out or not shown forcing the viewer to assume their own nasty bloody deaths for the hapless victims . " house on haunted hill " doesn't want their audience to have an imagination , everything is provided for them to watch and squirm , not think . this nonsense violence thrown out of nowhere is unfortunately the most refreshing part about this film . " house on haunted hill " , which is based on the 1958 film of the same title , introduces a handful of characters as quickly as it can , following the opening blood fest . the film has no intention of providing character development or a laudable plot . the aim here is to scare the audience with chilling , unexpected shots of blood , guts , and mayhem . however , the film is neither scary nor unpredictable . the plot involves five people who are dared to spend the night in a haunted house for one million dollars by an amusement park owner ( geoffrey rush ) . each character is a failure in the external world and acknowledges that they would do anything for that money . since the characters are immediately generalized as either greedy or caring , the expectations of who will survive or not is killed five minutes after you meet them . the problem is that every character is not likable . the two who come closest to being civilized are a womanizer ( taye diggs - who should be doing films a lot better than this with all of his talent ) and a businesswoman who accepts being womanized ( ali larter ) . the characters presented are so annoying and pathetic , that it is hard to cheer for them or scream them . the worst character in this film , or maybe in any film released this year , is chris kattan's watson pritchett . he spends the whole film whining about the spooky house in a tone so irritating and inappropriate , that he unintentionally begins to seem more evil than the house itself . waiting for pritchett to die , was a strenuously difficult act to sit through . the most humorous actor of the bunch is geoffrey rush playing steven price ( an homage to victor price who starred in the original ) . playing the rich man who supposedly organized the party , he plays the role perfectly in a twisted way where it is obvious that he is up to something just by the expressions on his face . however , rush is pretty much wasted in a confusing subplot involving a hateful marriage with evelyn price , played by famke janssen . the main problem is that " house on haunted hill " is not scary . to top off that huge disappointment , every actor was wasted and the script was completely ludicrous . if the annoying characters and hilariously bad dialogue were intentionally underdeveloped ( similar to " deep blue sea " ) , the goal for creating a creepy , suspenseful action film was completely missed .
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Negative
scream 2 has a titillating little scene that lays down the unwritten law of horror movie sequels quite well . during a film-class discussion , windsor college students articulate what these inevitable laws are , and why sequels never live up to the originals . a few rare exceptions are noted , but they left out one . . . scream 2 ! 1996's surprise horror blockbuster scream became an instant hit and developed an obsessive coterie of fans which included almost every teenager in america ! a sequel was unavoidable , but luckily the re-teaming of writer kevin williamson and director wes craven gives us nothing to fear in the way of lost entertainment . in fact , at the risk of sounding sacrilegious to all the adorning fans of scream , i would say that scream 2 might even be the better film ! sidney prescott ( neve campbell ) , the sinuous heroine who survived a series of murders in woodsboro , ca in the original scream , is now two years older and off to college , majoring in theater . meanwhile , tv journalist gale weathers ( courtney cox ) , who covered the murders in the first film , has since written a book about the dreadful events ; a book titled " stab " , which has been developed into a major motion picture . as scream 2 opens , a crowd of overzealous teenagers are piling into a crowded movie theater for the premiere of " stab " , and before long , a young couple are butchered to death , unnoticed in the midst of hysteria . this marks the beginning of a new murder spree as an unknown " copycat " sets out to repeat what's been done . . . and finish what hasn't ! of course the killer is just as obsessed with movies as the killer in the first film , and yes , movies play a huge role in the bizarre psychological outlook the murderer holds as he/she goes about slaying an assortment of gorgeous twenty year olds , but this * is * a sequel , and without deviating from the original groundwork we are still given a fresh outlook on horror movies . this is in large part due to williamson's deliciously written script , which will easily leave you satisfied . as much as the film condemns the use of cliches , it is riddled with them , but it is done so effectively , and with skillful direction by craven , that you're not bound to complain . i will note , however , that the " whodunit ? " did wind up being the first person i suspected , but believe me , i kept changing my mind as i tried to stay one ahead of the movie . all the actors outdo themselves here . we're not talking oscar performances , but cambell , cox , david arquette as dewey riley , and jamie kennedy as randy all give surprisingly satisfying performances that go beyond their last outing . the characters remain true to their roots , and yet show a clear sign of development over the last two years . we can see how the events in the first film has affected them , but we don't lose any of the luster that made them such a delight to watch in the first place . the nice thing about scream 2 is that it doesn't seem off-kilter from it's predecessor . it's a natural , smooth , and believable ( as far as horror films go ) transition from film to film . we skip two years , but there doesn't seem to be any holes or shortcuts taken in connecting the two flicks . it flows so well that you feel more like you're reading chapter two of a book ( long chapters , eh ? ) than just revitalizing a cast of familiar faces . while main characters are usually the only connection in sequels , scream 2's entire plot structure correlates * completely * with the first , making for immediate fondness and absorption . as i said before , scream 2 easily lives up to , if not surpassing , it's precursor . the only reason scream will likely be hailed above scream 2 is because it was the first . this doesn't mean that it overcasts the unique , whimsical humor or overall caliber of it's sequel , it just means that scream will forever be known as the movie that mocked it's own while maintaining it's sought-after qualities . if ever a film followed it's original so well , it would be scream 2 , and it makes this a definite must-see for all those unbridled scream fans out there . scream 2 fits snugly alongside scream , and will hopefully receive as many high remarks . it would top off the series quite well , if it weren't for the fact that two movies don't really make a series . it's unlikely to assume that a scream 3 won't appear in the next few years , but if they do decide to turn this into an undeniably acclaimed horror-trilogy , let's hope they can keep up the fantastic work . like they say , don't mess with perfection . . . but when a money-making smash-hit is almost guaranteed , who's gonna listen ?
pos
Positive
with his successful books and movies , michael crichton is doing well . with early successes with westworld ( 1973 ) and coma ( 1978 ) , and recent films such as jurassic park ( 1993 ) , his films have been entertaining . however , he seems to taken a wrong turn somewhere with sphere . this $100 million mess by good director barry levison ( disclosure ) is dull , long winded , and a huge disappointment . considering the huge budget , the all star cast , and a story by crichton , sphere is majorly disappointing . the film opens with norman goodman ( hoffman ) , a psychologist who thinks he is visiting an airplane crash to console the survivors . however , when he arrives , he his told by supervisor barnes ( peter coyote ) that he is actually investigating an spacecraft . along with goodman is mathematician harry adams ( jackson ) , biologist beth halperin ( stone ) and ted fielding ( liev schrieber . ) they investigate the spaceship , find a massive sphere inside , meet an alien intelligence called jerry , and basically weird crap happens . unfortunately , something went wrong along the way with sphere . the film starts off entertaining enough , but throughout this very long movie , it just gets sillier and sillier . the film jaunts along from scene to scene , never fully explaining what is going on . the actors and directing don't help , either . hoffman is on autopilot ( and almost seems embarrassed ) throughout the movie , churning out dull lines , and probably wondering what the hell he is doing in this movie . stone is useless , displaying no emotion , and fails to convince the audience that she has any feelings for hoffman . the only person who seems to be having fun in this movie is jackson , who's funny as the mathematician who slowly goes crazy and entering the sphere . but he's hardly in it , and by the end of the film he is just as dull as hoffman and stone . the same goes for peter coyote , who hams it up as the officer , but is then killed off halfway through . the director , barry levinson , who directed the better crichton adaptation disclosure ( 1994 ) messes up with the drama and the action . the drama scenes are , quite frankly , boring , and the action scenes suffer from overkill , with levison throwing the camera all over the place ( much like the godawful speed 2 , 1997 ) the writing doesn't help much , either . although crichton is great with plots , he's terrible with dialogue , and practically every line in sphere is a dud . the speech is too simple , i was hoping it would be a bit more intelligent . practically every line is just stating the obvious . none of it is smart . also , where the hell did the budget go ? the sphere itself is impressive , and there's a few nice special effect shots , but where the $100 million went is anyone's guess . there's a giant squid attack in the picture , but not once does the audience see the squid , even though the film has a massive budget . i assume the picture was trying to build up tension by not showing the squid , and if handled correctly it probably would . but the whole scene is done badly , and i was just hoping we could see the stupid squid . finally , the film has no idea what genre to be . levison can't handle his own plot . it leaps from hokey sci-fi , to horror , and finally the shining/event horizon psychological thriller . and , of course , the film is very much like the abyss ( 1988 ) , although in it's defense , crichton did write sphere before the abyss was released ( and is far superior to this rubbish . ) it's not all that bad though . the plot is all right , there's a few jump scenes ( although nothing very scary ) and there's the occasionally interesting bit . but overall , sphere is a big waste of some fine talent , a lot of money , and a potentially good movie . not really worth seeing . overall rating= review by david wilcock
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Positive
" battlefield earth " is the best comedy of the year . it has to be . the other prospect is just too horrifying to consider . bad movie syndrome struck me again , so after witnessing how much " battlefield earth " has been proclaimed a train wreck in both critical and popular circles , i felt the masochistic urge to see the disaster first-hand . is it as bad as advertised ? oh yes , very much so . the plot is incomprehensible . the acting is atrocious . the special effects are mediocre . the action is dull . the implausibilities are legion . the dialogue is cringe-inducing . the whole package is funny when it wants to be serious and irritating when it wants to be funny . i don't even want to continue reviewing this movie ; i'd like to purge the atrocity from my mind as soon as possible , but you probably want to read my thrashing in all its sarcastic glory , so here it is : the premise is basically a rip-off of " planet of the apes , " only minus the apes and philosophical discussion , and plus a race of evil aliens from the planet psychlo . the year is 3000 , the psychlos have conquered earth , and the human population has been enslaved . only a handful of humans escaped to radiation-rich areas to escape the aliens ; they live out their lives in fear . one man , johnny goodboy ( i know , i know ) tyler ( barry pepper ) , ventures to the outworld and is captured by the psychlos . there he confronts the psychlo head of security : a big , ugly , klingon-looking creature called terl ( john travolta ) . pressed into slavery , johnny vows to lead a revolution and take the planet back . meanwhile , terl is faced with his own problems : he has recently learned that he's stuck living on earth ( which he hates ) for the rest of his career because he pissed off his boss by sleeping with the big man's daughter . he decides to give johnny knowledge of the psychlo language and technology ( this is where the plot gets ridiculous . . . ) so the " man-animal " can lead a mining expedition into places the psychlos can't go . terl then plans to keep the mined gold for himself . of course , his plan doesn't work . so many things wrong with this movie -- where to begin ? how about with travolta , whose hollywood clout brought about this , the cinematic version of scientology guru l . ron hubbard's sci-fi novel ? early previews for " battlefield earth , " with constant shots of a makeup-laden travolta cackling like lex luthor , had me ( and several audience members ) remarking , " what the hell is travolta thinking ? " the movie did nothing to stem such remarks . all that ridiculous cackling he did in the trailers is in full force here : terl cackles after nearly every line , and so does every other psychlo . of course , this makes every scene hilariously overwrought , no more so than when the script clumsily stumbles into political commentary . the psychlos are probably supposed to be some kind of satire of corporate america , but ceos generally don't laugh maniacally after denying pay raises to their employees . ( " you were going to be promoted -- but now you're not ! fwahahahahahahahaha ! ! ! ! ! " ) it's no big surprise terl loses to the humans -- he's an idiot . he breaks every kind of supervillain rule in the book . he underestimates his enemies , assuming he'll win just because he's smarter . ( he uses the word " leverage " like some sort of scientologist mantra . ) not content to go the james bond villain route of explaining his plans to the hero , he hooks him up to a machine that gives him knowledge of all the psychlos' language and technology . ( why this machine is even around in the first place is beyond me . ) he then appears shocked that johnny points a gun at him . no wonder this guy never got his promotion . the plot inconsistencies are too numerous to mention . why do the psychlos build an earth base in which both they and the human slaves must wear little breathing apparatuses to survive ? how come the psychlos are wasting their time mining for gold when the doors of fort knox are wide open ? how in the world did all those fighter jets survive sitting in a hangar for 1 , 000 years ? and how do all these previously brain-dead cavemen learn to fly them so quickly ? there's a whole lot more to scratch one's head about in " battlefield earth . " bring a scorecard to track the plot holes . director roger christian shoots " battlefield earth " in the most distracting way possible , tilting nearly every shot sideways for no discernible reason . all the characters appear to be standing on the walls , and it's awfully difficult to watch a movie when you must tilt your head just to watch ordinary passages of dialogue . the action sequences are atrociously edited , every one turned into an endless slow-motion parade that drains all potential excitement . are these things really so hard to construct ? my respect for supposed " lightweight " action directors has grown by leaps and bounds after witnessing in " battlefield earth " how badly an action sequence can be shot . this movie is an absolute headache . it's not just the shot selection and editing ; the movie , quite frankly , makes no sense . for most of " battlefield earth's " running time , i just didn't know what was happening . it didn't have anything to do with me finding the events stupid or illogical ( though they certainly are ) -- i really had no idea what the hell was going on . when i pieced the plot together later , it didn't look any better . here's how much of a disaster this is : " battlefield earth " is already the worst movie of the year , and it's going to take something really , really inept to top it . the only thing we can take comfort in about the film is that no one will be suckered into joining the church of scientology because of it . in fact , i'd think that hubbard's cult would want to distance themselves from this bomb as fast as possible . that'll teach me to give into bad movie syndrome again .
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Negative
apparantly money talks . . . and uses quite a bit of obscenities doing so ! i've always considered myself pretty open about the gratuity a film can possess , whether in language , violence , sex , or what have you . i find that this fact gives me a little more leverage to complain when a movie goes overboard , and money talks definitely does ! it's not so much that the movie swore nearly constantly ( and i mean constantly ! ) , but it swore so much that it seemed overly prominent and way too staged . perhaps if one character were foul mouthed , but in this film , everybody swears nearly every other word . money talks is about a black ticket scalper named franklin hatchett ( played less annoyingly than expected by chris tucker ) . franklin is your typical con-man and ends up with more than one person out to get him . when the plot finally gets underway , there's no less than three people ( or groups ) that want him , dead or alive . the frenchman who's somewhat responsible for franklin's escape from a prisoner-packed bus , a hoodlum whom franklin owes seven grand , and the cops who wrongly suspect him of murder . franklin's only hope : james russell ( charlie sheen ) , an investigative reporter for the local news who's out to prove himself a worthy journalist . james offers to help clear franklin's name if franklin will just allow him an exclusive report to help channel 12 conquer sweeps week . both of these elements are completely lost along the way however , and never do reappear . as expected , the odd couple of franklin and james do wind up friends at the end , which is another wasted element seeing as how they show no signs of becoming friends at any point along the way . there is just nothing original or intriguing about this film , and so many developments are either non-relevant , or just plain forgotten about . money talks is a paint-by-numbers movie that lacks any real involvment with the audience . frivilous dialogue , a predictable , flat storyline , and two-dimensional characters make money talks a reason to save your money .
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Negative
what is freedom ? how does one determine who is free ? in 1839 , those questions were more difficult to answer then they are now . yet , the mistakes of our forefathers must be examined in order to rectify current situations . that is , in essence , what steven spielberg's gripping drama " amistad " is about . through its various dramas , spielberg presents a case about a group of africans , who , after being seized from their home , were forced onto a ship and sent to the united states aboard " la amistad " . on their way there , the slaves , led by cinque ( djimon hounsou ) , rebelled , killing off part of the crew . however , the ship was still directed towards the united states , where the africans were brought to trial under murder . in the court , various factions claim ownership of the slaves , and therefore try to seize them away . the united states government , led by president martin van buren ( nigel hawthorne ) , and secretary of state secretary forsyth ( david paymer ) , try to ship the africans to spain , where an 11 year old isabella ii ( anna paquin ) wants them back . the two spaniards who own " la amistad " want the slaves for themselves . the american ship that found the slaves also wants them . in the midst of this are two abolitionists ( stellan skaarsgard and morgan freeman ) , who want the slaves to be free . they enlist the help of lawyer matthew mcconaughey , who tries to free them . through various legal proceedings , the case appears before the supreme court , where it is argued by ex-president john quincy adams ( anthony hopkins ) . the film itself is a visual wonder . spielberg favorite janusz kaminski sets the film in a dark , somber mood when appropriate , and a visual setting when appropriate as well . at times , the film is very slow , and very methodical . however , spielberg is not at his finest here , because the courtroom scenes have a tendency to lag . the film is , in essence , a courtroom drama , one whose events are oversimplified . the characterization is also weak , displaying weaknesses in building up characters such as the lawyer baldwin ( mcconaughey ) , and especially morgan freeman's abolitionist . but spielberg's finest work in the film , the opening scene , a scene of cinque's family , and the brutal voyage of the slaves to america , is altogether stunning . it is this emotional force that carries the film . mcconaughey is superb as the lawyer defending the africans , hopkins is sensational as the old adams , freeman is outstanding when used ( spielberg vastly under uses his supreme talents ) , and the rest of the cast is stellar . the movie , however , belongs to hounsou . his emotional intensity is brilliant . spielberg manages to make even the slowest scenes sparkle with focus on hounsou , and the film's extraordinary power is simply captivating . the film is flawed , for most of the supporting characters are merely cardboard . but that doesn't matter . the story is a gripping one , and one of extreme importance . kudos to spielberg for finding it , finding the right men for the job , and letting the audience listen to the words of cinque . a good job all around .
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Positive
at one point in this movie there is a staging of an opera that goes completely wrong . but one member of the crowd stands up and cheers , thinking the performance was planned , and applauding it for their efforts . that's " dirty work " in a nutshell . a very different kind of movie . this is not a movie that i can easily review . the critic in me analyzes the structure , plot , acting , characters . . . and tells me this movie is terrible . but the norm macdonald fan in me had me rolling on the floor laughing . this movie plays more like an hbo sketch comedy than a movie . it's a one note concept . mitch and sam need $50000 in order to bribe a doctor to give their father a heart transplant before other more needy patients . realizing they are very good at revenge plots , they open a revenge for hire business , eventually running afoul of a rich businessman played by christopher macdonald ( who after roles in " happy gilmore " and " veronica's closet " seems typcast in this role ) , who sends them to destroy a building that mitch learns is the home of his girlfriend's grandmother , thus leading them to plot against the rich businessman on the night of the grand opening of a new opera house . first the critic in me . the plot is the standard poor guy vs evil rich guy device , where the main character meets the girl of his dreams along the way . here's the catch . none of the characters are sympathetic . they're all selfish jerks who don't care who they hurt in their attempts to do whatever they want . the jokes are juvenile , crude , appealing to the worst elements in people . there's jokes about prostitutes , the homeless , beastiality , anal sex . there's even a subplot that's developed , it seems , only to make jokes about infidelity and incest . and i loved watching it . i was a huge fan of norm macdonald's sarcastic , to-the-point comedy on saturday night live , and this movie is an hour and a half of it . norm macdonald takes a joke , strips it to the core , and tells it like it is with a dry wit . like the scene were he and his friend are learning the ropes at a new construction job . the foreman goes over the basics , which mitch and sam don't understand . how do they get out of it ? by admiting they lied on their resumes , and don't know a thing about construction ! and surprise , they get fired . the characters are incredibly mean-spirited . there's a father who's loud and obnoxious , a gambling addicted doctor played by chevy chase who tells sam of his father's condition by saying " if i were a gambling man i'd put a lot of money on death . " the businessman cole who always has his dog spunky , and does who knows what with it . and then there's mitch and sam , who , thinking they can get $50000 by destroying a building , ponder how their actions would ruin the lives of the residents . " too bad we have to do it , " mitch says . here's a movie where every joke that is executed as it is set up , where you see every punchline coming , where every spot profanity could be used and then is used . at least the film is honest , and makes no mistake that it is anything more than idiotic . but at least it isn't dull , and it isn't predictable . and that's the way it should be . it's sketch comedy , and if you're a fan of norm macdonald , you'll love it . the jokes are crude , the characters are mean to the core , the attitude of the movie is that it just doesn't care . if you don't like norm macdonald , or stupid movies , then you probably won't like this one . the jokes are crude , the characters are mean to the core , the attitude of the movie is that it just doesn't care . so before seeing this one , tune your mindset , and prepare for a slew of norm macdonald humor , gay animal sex , prison rape jokes , uncaring characters , and one last performance from chris farley . the critic in me says ( * ) but i give it an 8 ( * * * ) . i just couldn't stop laughing .
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Negative
imagine this . you're given a sword and a shield and very basic , minimal training . a man you don't know tells you that this will be the last day that you will live . you are thrown into an arena with thousands of spectators wanting to see you die . you frantically monitor several closed doors which , in seconds , will release vicious enemies prepared to destroy you . you watch as the innocent friends you made in the last few days are murdered in cold blood . if you are lucky enough to survive this chaos thrown at you , you know you're going to have to do it all over again tomorrow . eventually know matter how strong or skilled you are , you're going to die . this is the life of a gladiator . you'll never have to be a gladiator and after seeing ridley scott's powerful gladiator , you'll be thankful for that . with his new film , scott has returned cinema to the fascinating age of the ancient roman empire . and like those preceding it , spartacus and ben hur , gladiator has nearly everything going for it - a strong lead actor , a wonderful supporting cast , eye-catching special effects , and a great script . since the two aforementioned films came out before the prime target viewers of gladiator ( teenagers to thirty-year-old males ) were around , a whole new genre may just be reborn and revisited . >from a weak beginning , the film starts off extremely gloomy and inauspicious . rome's best general maximus ( russell crowe ) , who has helped the empire conquer nearly everywhere they have attempted , is currently ( in the year 180 a . d . that is ) waging a war against germania . scott shoots the gory battle in an awkward style , similar to that of saving private ryan but much less effective . it's blurry , in slow motion , and the sound is muted . as soon as this artistic method began , it was hard to tell what was what and who was who . it's a good thing scott stops this after the first twenty minutes or else gladiator would have been torture to watch . instead , the general swears he will get out after this battle . he wants to go back to his family and his crops , he wants a quiet life . but , unexpectedly , he gets anything but that . the dying emperor of rome , marcus aurelius ( richard harris ) , decides to have maximus appointed new emperor of rome once he dies . he asks maximus to restore the republic by giving more power to the senators . all of this does not go well for aurelius' son , commodus ( joaquin phoenix ) who was expecting his father to name him the new emperor . jealous and upset , commodus kills his own father , names himself emperor , kills maximus' wife and son , and attempts to kill maximus . but maximus is able to escape his own death and vows to kill commodus and fulfill marcus aurelius' wishes . now a slave , the only way he can win his own freedom and complete his goal is to become a winning gladiator , who eventually are released for their success . a story of betrayal and promises , gladiator is more than just a mindless action flick . you actually care about the characters , sometimes even the evil villain commodus , who is just a young man as determined to make rome one way as maximus is determined to make it the other way . phoenix plays his character brilliantly . think of commodus as the percy wetmore ( of pant-wetter the green mile ) of the roman empire - a whiny , sleazy , " respect-me-because-my-father-was-a-good-man " brat who hates when he's not the center of attention . every scene we see commodus , he's either crying or he looks like he has just been crying . phoenix has definitely matured as an actor since to die for , and gladiator shows he's more than just river's little brother . crowe is also excellent as the film's grisly-faced hero . maximus is one of the few characters in recent cinema who actually has emotions . this guy actually acts like a anyone in his situation would act , he's no invincible superhero who only blurts out one-liners , he ( believe it or not ) acts like a human being ! the rest of the cast , including richard harris , djimon hounsou , walter hill , derek jacobi , and connie nielsen are also first rate . ridley scott , using outstanding special effects , has brilliantly recreated the roman coliseum , the loudness of the roman mob , and the city of rome in general . the visuals are breathtaking and voluminous , like a cleopatra of the year 2000 . the costuming is also wonderful from the detailed shields and armor to the exquisite dress of the upper-class politicians . gladiator is another movie you have to see on the big screen to get the most out of the experience . along with u-571 , action fans should have plenty to see in theaters this week and should expect much more excitement to come this summer of 2000 .
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Positive
us critic-type people are always shaking our heads and telling everyone that movies aren't thrill rides , but i think that " back to the future ii " is one of the few exceptions . if the original film had the spirit of the 1950s , then this has the spirit of the 80s : full of fights ; chase scenes ; cliff hangers ; special effects ; some detective work ; and of course the vision of the high-tech future . the film picks up exactly where the first film left off , with doc ( lloyd ) , marty ( fox ) , and jennifer ( elizabeth shue ) travelling 30 years into the future , because something bad is going to happen to marty and jennifer's kids . doc tells marty he must take his son's place at an incident that will cause a chain reaction if marty mcfly jr . says yes to griff ( wilson - in one of four different roles ) . whoever said history tends to repeat itself wasn't joking , especially when it comes to the movies . essentially the same chase scene that marty endured in the 50s takes place again in the year 2015 , but it's not as authentically exciting this time because it is so obviously a parody of itself . at the end of the situation marty has changed the course of history for the better , and it seems like everything's copasetic right ? wrong . since when do things go according to plan in the " back to the future " movies ? there are so many minor conflicts and details that effect the plot and the direction of the story i won't even bother to list them all . basically we get to see marty as an old man , his house , his family , etc . we also go back to an alternate 1985 , and then back again to 1955 , with everything happening so fast the film never stops to catch a breath . the films' best aspect is the fact that it actually goes back to the first movie and shows a lot of the action that occurred from another angle . it's difficult to convey the sense of wild and zany fun without describing every little detail . the only thing sacrificed in this film is the suspense . instead of a grand finale , we get lots of little victories . by the end everything is back to normal , but something happens that leads to yet another sequel , but it doesn't seem gratuitous . " back to the future part ii " is a really great adventure movie . it certainly has more originality than other films but it lacks a certain charm that was dominate throughout its predecessor .
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Negative
edward burns tackles his third picture with no looking back , and like his previous two , it is a working-class relationship picture . however , unlike his previous work , the film dwells on a more personal story , and with a female protagonist . and in no looking back , he stumbles , making a slow , boring film without the spark that enlivened his previous work . claudia ( lauren holly ) is a small town waitress who is feeling stifled by her life . she's at a turning point in her life , and feels as if she's going nowhere . her boyfriend , michael ( jon bon jovi ) , is broke and in a dead end job . if she were to marry him , she'd never get a chance to escape this town . enter charlie ( edward burns ) , claudia's old flame . he skipped town several years before , without any explanations . . . even for claudia . he has come back to town to see her , and suddenly she is torn . should she stay with stable michael , and never escape her hometown . . . or should she ignore her instincts and fall for charlie again . part of the answer lies in the character of her mother ( blythe danner ) , who fell for the wrong man . . . and has spent her life pining for claudia's father to return . now it seems that claudia is about to make the same mistakes . at only a little past ninety minutes , no looking back is rather short for its genre . unfortunately , it seems much much longer . the storyline is simple and uninspired , and there's a lack of energy to the whole proceedings , which makes the entire drama rather tedious . edward burns makes a misstep by casting himself in the crucial role as the egomaniacal old flame . there's no one to restrain his ego , which reigns unchecked . he walks into the room and lauren holly swoons . . . yeah , right . lauren holly does what she can with her central character . but we never understand why her character makes such pathetically bad decisions . . . and we never really care . bon jovi is the only sympathetic character in the whole movie . his acting talents are much greater than they might seem , but he is given a mostly bland and ineffective role to work with . there's not much to recommend in no looking back . it's not that the film is bad . . . it's simply boring . there's no zest in any aspect of the film , and no reason to spend ninety minutes watching it .
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Negative
in my review of there's something about mary , i said something to the effect of " laughter isn't everything . " i now need to make a brief addendum to my postulate : laughter isn't everything , unless i'm watching a jim abrahams film . see , spoofs are easy with me . i love movies , and i love movies that make fun of movies that i love . sometimes i'm the only one in the theater laughing . sometimes i laugh so hard that i embarass myself because my laugh is so high-pitched in comparison to my speaking voice ( it cuts right through everyone else's laughter ) . sometimes i laugh so much that my cheekbones are sore by the end of the film . abraham's latest film , mafia ! , induced this kind of hysteria upon me . it's gotten some mediocre reviews , but , hey , i'm the guy who laughs at everything . there may be a lot of jokes that flop in this film , but there are far more that work , and i laughed so frequently that the failed jokes usually occurred as i was recovering from the previous bout of giddy madness . i enjoy films like this because not one second of it is serious or thought-provoking . most lighweight films that pose as comedies try to do other things , like develop characters , shape stories , and other such nonsense . mafia ! has no pretentions about characters or story , and it exists for no other reason than to make people laugh . the film begins on the perfect high note , with a mockery of the opening of casino . our hero ( jay mohr ) is seen walking from a casino and getting into his car , which subsequently explodes and sends him flying through the air against a backdrop of flowing fire . to describe the story of mafia ! is absurd and pointless , but i will mention that it basically follows the framework of the godfather films , with a lot of casino references inserted throughout . along the way , the parodies seem arbitrary , and rarely victimize mob films : pictures like the english patient , forrest gump , and jaws undergo severe and hilarious bashing . movies like this rely on just a few things , but the most important element is direction . abrahams has been down this path many times before ( hot shots ! , top secret ! , airplane ! , and any other film with an exclamation point in the title ) , and so i hold most of the success of mafia ! to his experience . he takes just the right attitude in each scene , and manages to wring at least a bit laughter out of even the most oddly placed references ( one inexplicable moment seems like it wants to make fun of titanic , but it never develops ) . the actors are all energetic , which helps a lot with the tone of the film . mohr ( suicide kings , paulie ) , who is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors , is so good here . he looks like he's having so much fun that he's containing his laughter in every scene ( watch his face in the sequence by the swimming pool ) . he's probably the only performer in the cast who manages to urge laughter without the help of the material . lloyd bridges does a decent imitation of brando's godfather , while pamela gidley is dead-on in a full-blown mockery of sharon stone . the hard thing about writing reviews for comedies is that i'm supposed to give examples of things and be specific . unfortunately , i was so constantly blindsided by laughter during mafia ! that i can't remember a lot of what made me laugh . but that's a good sign : mafia ! is so funny that i wasn't even given time to apply any of the scenes to memory . i laughed so hard that it shut off my brain . i know that doesn't sound particularly complimentary , but when watching a dumb comedy like this , the first thing i want to do is shut off my brain . finally , a film that does this for me .
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Positive
not since oliver stone's natural born killers has there been a movie this incendiary , and not since david cronenberg has a so-called mainstream director been this willing to repeatedly tiptoe the fine line between pointed social commentary and outright social irresponsibility . while fincher's films have never suffered from a lack of shock value ( his major character killings in both alien 3 and seven are fine examples ) , fight club marks the distillation of his pitch-black comedic sensibility ( see 1997's the game ) into something like a definitive statement . jack ( norton , acting as both narrator and protagonist ) is your typical cubicle clone , whose disillusionment is amplified by a seemingly incurable insomnia . on the offhand advice of a doctor , he sits in on group-therapy sessions for everything from blood parasites to testicular cancer . here he meets bob ( marvin lee aday , aka meat loaf ) , a cancer-emasculated eunuch with profound gynecomastia . strangely , the release he finds while sobbing on bob's breasts allows him to sleep at night , at least until a fellow group-therapy " tourist " named marla singer ( carter ) comes along to ruin things for him , forcing a grudging compromise that recalls monty python in its dark hilarity . later , he meets tyler durden ( pitt ) , a soap salesman with a decidedly subversive outlook on life . one night , after his ikea- furnished condo explodes ( don't ask-- you'll just have to see the movie , awright ? ) , he is goaded by tyler into a fight , and damned if it doesn't feel good . it is pure , raw existence , a brief moment of clarity and purpose that makes his dreary workaday life pale in comparison . he moves into tyler's squalid abandoned mansion , and they form the titular organization , an underground therapy group where men bond with bare-knuckle savagery and very few rules , the first two of which are " don't talk about fight club . " armed with charisma and an attractive anti-corporate philosophy , tyler assumes leadership of the burgeoning membership of white-collar slaves and dead-end mcemployees . resentment creeps into jack's heart , made worse by the fact that tyler is also regularly and noisily boffing the hated marla . funded by a frivolous lawsuit , tyler begins molding his devotees into an army dedicated to mischief and mayhem . their initially juvenile pranks ( like pissing in food and putting spike belts on roads ) quickly evolve into something more like sedition , and jack fears that things have gone sour . it is after this point , when you are plenty uncomfortable and wondering just how far fincher will go to say something original , that the film uncorks a disappointing plot twist . it is so contrived-- and so conventional compared to what precedes it-- that everything which follows ( including the ending ) becomes far less interesting . it's a major ( though not fatal ) flaw , and for a director as notoriously unpredictable as fincher , it feels like a cop-out . fight club is going to be misconstrued by a great many people . in the early going , it has a downright dangerous feel ; it seems to be saying that violence and civil disobedience are good for the soul , and this is undoubtedly the message that a few moronic punks are going to take from it . i'll be mightily surprised if imitation fight clubs don't spring up here and there , and i'll be even more amazed if fincher isn't vilified for it by the same humorless witch-hunters that are currently after oliver stone . they needn't bother , because fight club is less a message movie than fincher's elaborate attempt at a joke . tyler durden , for all his dionysian allure , is really nothing more than the logical ( and far less hypocritical ) extrapolation of all those self-help gurus who constantly show up on oprah to preach their me-first gospel of self-actualization . in this context , the joke works , but like the latest columbine joke , some people will get it and enjoy a good laugh , and others won't . hopefully , though , their silly moral outrage won't spoil the joke for the rest of us .
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Positive
while screen adaptations of john irving's novels have been disappointingly uneven , the films have all shared one particular strength : key casting . who can forget john lithgow as roberta muldoon , the transsexual quarterback of " the world according to garp , " or nastassja kinski as susie the bear in " the hotel new hampshire " ? a lot of good casting decisions have gone into the making of " the cider house rules , " an adaptation of irving's poetic 1994 novel about a restless young man called homer wells . among those sound judgments was the decision to have the splendid tobey maguire assume the pivotal role ; the decision to cast michael caine as his mentor and father figure , dr . wilbur larch , the ether-addicted head obstetrician of the st . cloud's orphanage , maine ; and the decision to offer jane alexander and kathy baker supporting roles as his head nurses . then there are the brethren who populate the apple orchard where homer wells finds himself shortly after leaving st . cloud's , including delroy lindo , oscar ? -worthy as the foreman of the migrant work detail that drifts up and down the coast as the seasons take them . there's kate nelligan as the matriarch of the cider house , and charlize theron as candy , the lovely , lonely wife of a wwii bomber pilot ( paul rudd ) sent away on a mission overseas leaving candy to set lobster traps with homer wells , a man who's never seen the ocean before let alone a lobster . am i forgetting anyone ? yes . kieran culkin and paz de la huerta as dissolute orphanage residents who make you sit up and take notice every time they're on the screen . but with " the cider house rules , " the good people decisions don't end with the cast . irving has written his own screenplay in order to get it right this time ( last year's " simon birch , " loosely based on his " a prayer for owen meaney , " was a big-screen example of irving handled sub-standardly ) ; the author appears fleetingly as a stationmaster here . rachel portman , a composer of such sweet and lyrical tenderness , provides a score that's absolutely right for the project--sweet , lyrical , and tender . there's impressive new england photography by oliver stapleton too . last but by no means least is " my life as a dog " director lasse hallstr ? m , who shows enormous skill in pulling this collective together and helping bring irving's marvelously touching story to life . for the many beloved who pass away in " the cider house rules , " it's an extraordinarily life-affirming story . and now , thanks to these talented individuals , it's an extraordinarily life-affirming film .
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bob the happy bastard's quickie review : the odd couple ii grumpy old men , it ain't . hell , my fellow americans , it ain't . walter matthau and jack lemmon team up again for an even more worn out vehicle than any of their films over the past few years . odd couple ii feels terribly generic , where in the first movie , made thirty one years ago , feels like a wonderful tale . that's like repackaging campbell's soup in a generic food can , really . how writer neil simon could've made such a horrible mistake in screen writing is beyond me . throughout the movie , i really didn't laugh once . honestly . i mean , there were dumb situations , yeah , like the cropduster who let these old geezers have it without any notice , but they just really didn't seem funny to me . and that car rolling off the cliff ? the only way i would've seen humor in that is if they were still in it . and the ending gets all super-mushy , too . in the final twenty minutes or so , lemmon meets a girl he thinks is the one , then loses her ; matthau talks to his son ( a wasted jonathan silverman ) about his amrriage to lemmon's daughter ; and , of course , lemmon and matthau have another roomie situation on their hands . ooh , i really gave a lot away there , i'm sure . consider it a hospitable gester , you won't waste your time renting this muck .
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a life less ordinary ( r ) while the extremely peculiar a life less ordinary does live up to its title , a more appropriate moniker would be a movie more misguided , for this confused , confusing attempt at romantic comedy is a most disarming disaster from the talented trainspotting team of director danny boyle , producer andrew macdonald , and screenwriter john hodge . at the core of this strange film is a fairly basic--and , yes , ordinary--premise . after robert ( boyle regular ewan mcgregor ) , an aspiring writer of trashy novels , is fired from his janitorial job at the naville corporation , he kidnaps naville's ( ian holm ) spoiled daughter celine ( cameron diaz ) and holds her for ransom . the joke here is that celine is a willing victim--her father threatened to cut her off financially , so she wants revenge--and that she soon becomes not only an accomplice but the brains behind the scheme , teaching the inept robert a thing or two about kidnapping . . . and , ultimately ( didn't we see this one coming ? ) , love . so far , so mediocre . but mediocre is better than dreadful , which this film is , thanks in no small part to the hodge's contextual frame for the romance . it turns out that god is displeased with the divorce and romantic breakup rate on earth , so the chief of heaven's police , gabriel ( dan hedaya ) dispatches two angels , o'reilly ( holly hunter ) and jackson ( delroy lindo ) , to earth to hook up celine and robert--or lose their angel status . this conceit might have worked if the angel dimension played an integral role in the entire picture . but it could have easily been cut without any clear loss to the film ; as it stands , it is simply a waste of time that distracts from the romance at hand . not that there is much of a romance to begin with . try as diaz and mcgregor may , celine and robert are too one-note to become very endearing characters . celine is rich bitch ; robert is a dullard . as such , it is quite hard for the audience to really connect with these two--then again , they never seem to really connect with each other . when celine and robert start to overtly act on their " feelings , " it comes off more like something scripted than anything natural . but i am not exactly sure if boyle and company's point was romance ; honestly , i am not exactly sure what they were trying to accomplish . boyle juices up the visuals with his characteristic razzmatazz , but it remains just that--energy , not energy in service of a story or even acting . the cast seems lost , especially hunter , whose performance is so adrift as to be baffling . and then there are the many eccentricities splattered onto the film : some violent confrontations involving the angels , who are not exactly angelic--in fact , they end up staging their own ransom scheme ; some mystical hokum in the climax ; and a cutesy claymation epilogue . watching much of a life less ordinary is like being trapped in indie hipster hell , stockpiling quirks in the name of cool . instead , the film just gives quirky a bad name . my best guess as to what the filmmakers wanted to accomplish is an atmosphere of warped womantic ( yes , misspelling intended ) whimsy , which comes through in only one scene : an extended musical number where celine and robert sing " beyond the sea " at a karaoke bar . after a verse or two , the couple are magically dolled up in snazzy outfits and hairdos , and engage in a spirited dance routine on the counter . the scene works not only because of its relative simplicity but also because it does not try too hard , just relying on the innate charm of the leads , allowing them to build a romantic rapport . alas , not nearly enough is built , for this moment comes to an abrupt end . i applaud any attempt to bring something fresh and unique to movie houses , but sometimes even cleverness can reach overkill . a life less ordinary certainly delivers something " different , " but by the time the film was over , i was clamoring for a life more ordinary . " i can accept failure . everyone fails at something . but i can't accept not trying . it doesn't matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart . " --michael jordan
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