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Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Alone on Christmas DayI try not to let it get to me, as there are people out there in far worse circumstances than I am on Christmas Day. I hate that this day is associated with family, a normal thing that every one has.. apart from me.
This time of year is supposed to be cheerful, enjoying the time with those close to you. Christmas Day (for me) is a reminder that I'm alone, that I don't have a family and that I'm fucking miserable. The loneliness is killing me and it feels like theres nothing I can do. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | am i just ungrateful? MILD tw for sh
got my mom a ton of gifts, some handmade... and in return she got me a pair of socks and razor blade refills... and nonetheless i thanked her a bunch this morning but tonight she was like “aren’t you going to thank me again?”
so yeah, it was an odd christmas.
also im coming up one year sh free and i was like oh that’s... ironic. not that she knows that tho. she only wrapped the replacement blades for me because she had no other gifts im guessing. i’m glad i’m in a good enough mental place that that didn’t make me lose my sh!t
i hope your christmas was less weird than mine lmao | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Rock bottom is really beginning to feel like home....I don't even know where to start. I genuinely don't care to see tomorrow. In the last year, I've been cheated on by my soon to be ex husband. After a rough night at his work with a 18yr old waitress hitting on him, my now ex best friend told me they'd been cheating for four months. I found out in late February 2020. In the beginning of February, I met someone (I'm polyam/enm) who quickly fueled emotions and feelings inside me I'd never felt before. I'd felt whole for the first time in my 27 years of living.
Then Covid hit. I decided to stay with him. I couldn't stand to be quarantined with my husband. I spent time on and off in between places. I loved being with my new partner (NP).
Recently, I've really hit a mega depression. I'm financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically failing. I can't seem to keep my head above water. Between financial issues, having DID, severe Complex PTSD, politics, and the common SAD, I can't seem to keep my nose above water. To add on top of it, I feel completely worthless, or of no value. I feel completely unwanted by everyone in my life. Recently found out my grandma blames me for my marriage issues. Found out my other grandma is near her death bed. I can't do this anymore.
I honestly don't care to see tomorrow. I really don't. I won't do anything and I'm physically safe, but I don't want to be here... I feel so alone... People touch me and I can't feel them. I'm scared. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Being me up to date Heya,
I've been away from here, for 4 month now, and back since 5 days...
And, I've got some questions...
Any new important names I need to now?
Any new memes?
Any new rules?
Any important events?
Anything else worth mentioning, what happened in the last 4 months?
Thank ya'll :) | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | DAE use Reddit or social media in general to distract yourself from reality and then drown in an enormous amount of guilt afterwards? I feel like social media helps to reduce stress to a certain extent by distracting you from whats going on and it helps you zone out but, as soon as you leave it you are overcome by this insane amount of guilt because at the end of the day it's a distraction.. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | my knees hurt so bad feels weak | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Some of you might not like this I had a nightmare that my mom found out that I had reddit, I haven't told her because I am LGBTQ and not out and I am on some subreddits related to that. Reddit is my safe haven and without it I would be so much more depressed than I am now and would feel even worse. Thank you for making it worth my while staying here. All of you, you are appreciated. <3 | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I kissed the scars on her skin I still think ur beautiful and i dont ever wanna lose my best friend | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Holding it by a thread.I'm a stay at home dad during the day and a medical pot grower at night. I am married with two kids so while my wife works at a dispensary I am home with the kids, the oldest we have is almost 3. My days consist of waking up to a hungry baby and three year old, while my wife gets ready for work, she wakes them with her non stop alarms and banging around in the mornings so no matter how late I'm up caring for the grow I am up at 7 am every morning. While I take care if the babies in the morning I'm bitched at about how I either am not doing a good enough job with the kids,house, or maybe because I was gone too late last night so I must have been cheating.Throughout the day she will blow up my phone asking who has been over and constantly asking if I am cheating. I've noticed random people suspiciously driving slowly past my house clearly trying to see into it. I have never been dishonest with her or ever even received a complement from any women since we've been together so idk why she is always thinking I'm cheating. When she gets home I get complaints about what I made for dinner or something I might have missed cleaning or even if the kids are wet after her being home for an hour without me changing them. Or I'm ignored while she is in her phone till she falls asleep. Then to my lonely grow room to wallow in my pathetic depression. I just feel worthless and dead inside, I've lost the only people I feel like that has ever loved me this year and I'm not sure why I deserve to be in so much pain. I'm sick of this path I'm going down and what's making it even harder is that I know my babies won't be taken care of well if I'm gone but I can't be the dad I should be. I'm worthless and I can't do anything right, I destroy everything I touch, everyone and everything I love dies and goes away. I try so hard to make friends to have anyone to talk to but every time I have someone around my wife is mean or they just disappear like I did something to make them angry. I don't know what's wrong with me I've worked so hard to make everyone around me happy but I feel as if they all would rather me gone.
I dont know what to do anymore, I don't think I am able to hang on anymore, I have no one and no where to go and I don't know what to do. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I used to tell myself to ride it out until the sun appeared again. Now I'm older, and no sun reappears. It feels as if everything is over for good.Well, there are always reasons to feel down, and I'm used to being depressed for a good part of the time. I accepted that as part of being alive and being me. Tried to enjoy the better times, while talking myself out of being suicidal with a promise that the mood would clear and that things would be okay again for a while.
But it's been over two years since I've seen the sun, and by that I mean a flash of genuine, unclouded enjoyment or happiness. I laugh and joke, but it's just a layer over the the thick gunge of depression and feeling things are over.
I think it's something to do with getting older. Things healed themselves when I was in my 20s. Heartbreak subsided, disappointments raged and were forgotten. Life was more forgiving, chances abounded. Now, aged 39, I really genuinely feel that things can only get worse, and that mistakes made can't be fixed. Mentally, I am suffering a decline, and fear this can only get worse. I know I'm not old, but I feel it. It's not only to do with not having achieved goals, but about watching what I'd built up over years erode before my eyes. Two years ago, I was a very busy professional woman in what I thought was a happy marriage. I had friends, or so I thought, and a purpose in life which I now can't remember. I was depressed a lot of the time, but worked anyway and was passionate about it, loved my husband, was mobile and active and even felt fulfilment occasionally. I really didn't hope for more, and counted myself lucky as a social misfit and depressive, to have anything or anyone in my life.
Well, it's amazing to me how things can go utterly wrong in such a short period of time. I quit my job as my husband and I had been having a long distance relationship because of jobs, and something had to give. We wanted to start a family, and had been talking about it ever since we got together 15 years ago, so I was willing to take a chance and see what was in store for me in a new environment. I trusted fate because I had married a really wonderful man, and how could love not prevail?
Then the trouble began. Initially, I made the long distance move with a sense of happy anticipation. I was tired, but ready to bulld a new life. But things didn't go as planned. Our marriage began to go very badly, I became depressed, he didn't understand and just made it worse through what I felt was extreme cruelty, and worst of all, he refused to even talk about the subject of a child. He rejected sex continually so as not to get me pregnant, said I could never be a good parent, etc, and my self-esteem dwindled. I became too depressed to look for work, and within a couple of months I was suicidal. And have been more or less ever since.
I spent the past two years trying to revive our marriage and sex life in spite of my illness. I really think I put a good face to things. My husband, I feel, has been very passive and negative. It was exhausting to have to drag a marriage along practically alone, as well as deal with depression. I went for therapy, took meds (a nightmare) did yoga...and am in the same situation, if not worse.
Now, my husband regrets what he did and said, he's come out of this bad phase and is really trying to be nice, i'm trying too, but things are ruined between us. After all the rejection, I am no longer attracted to him, though I was crazy about him before. I no longer feel fit enough mentally to have a baby, and time is short. I feel much too depressed to work, though I've made job applications without success. I hide at home the whole day, ashamed of the state I am in. I'm an invalid. My former friends are, of course, on another planet where people actually live instead of rotting alive. My parents are narcissistic, my extended family difficult.
To make things worse, I met a man ten years younger with whom I fell hopelessly in love. I've never been attracted to anyone in that way, urgently and passionately, body and soul, but I never told him as it would not have been right. He brought a few moments of joy into my life. He liked me too, but saw I was unavailable...and maybe he didn't realize my age at first, as I look young. We became friends, but now even he has pushed me away as he has some big problems of his own. Now, I obsess about him a lot. I've become a creepy, sexually frustrated woman in the space of two years. I've never shed so many tears - well, the tears shed over my husband and shattered dreams probably tally up to that...it would be interesting to compare the litres.
Everything I loved is gone. Marriage falling apart, dreams of children and family fading, self-esteem and body confidence gone, no work in sight, friendship rejection by extraneous crush gave the last punch. I can't imagine ever being in a relationship with a man apart from my husband, but our marriage is falling apart. I can't imagine ever working again or being independent. My husband will never throw me out, and I'll end up as a burden on him, letting him work while I rot. I can't stand being around people. Life has nothing more to offer, I'm tired of trying.
Tl;dr Things look bleak and I am trapped. This could continue for the rest of my life. I just want out. Sorry for the uncontrolled rant. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Can you talk to a psychologist without being reported for suicidal thoughts?Need to talk to someone but don’t want to be reported. Not in a place to talk about it with wife. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | u/JessicaTheGrenadier Yummy | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Call me a lone cactus Because I'm both sad and horny 😔😔 | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | 12All I want to do is die. I haven't been happy in years and my self harm has already gotten to the point where I should be getting stitches (but I'm not). I hate school. I have to listen to the other kids talk about how 'AMAZING' trump is and how lgbtq+ people shouldn't exist. I'm taking high school level classes and I have social anxiety, and it's killing me.
My mom smokes and drinks and when she's drunk she tells me about how useless and mean and selfish I am. I've already tried to kill myself multiple times. I'm so close to doing it again. I guess the worst part is that I'm only 12. My 13th birthday is in November. Happy halloween, hopefully I'll be dead soon.
Sorry, I know you guys will either not read this or only respond because you want to 'save' somebody. Nobody cares until you're on the brink of death- other than that, I don't matter. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | What should I do? I have a test today and I want to cheat. I have all the notes prepared and I haven't even studied. But the moment I started to answer with notes on, I felt guilty. What do I do? Is this normal? | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Trying to help a suicidal friendI’m not sure if this was the right place to post this, but it seemed appropriate. A person I met online a few weeks ago has been saying some very concerning things about wanting to kill himself. He’s bulimic and eats less than 1000 calories a day, and a couple of days ago he started uncontrollably shaking due to low blood sugar (at least, that was his assessment). I’m not certain on all of the details, as he doesn’t want to talk about his personal life beyond the obvious cries for help he makes on a daily basis, but I have made a few educated guesses- everything from here on should be taken with a grain of salt. He lives with his parents (who don’t appear to like him very much by his account), has no job, and essentially no education. He feels like a leech with nothing to contribute and genuinely believes the world would be a better place without him. He said his parents would get over his death in a year and would have more freedom and money without him leeching. He used to be extremely overweight and lives in fear of becoming that way again. Unfortunately I can only talk to him online (and he doesn’t like to show his face at all and he hates his voice). I don’t know much about him or what his specific thoughts are but I want to help him any way I can. I genuinely believe he may do it. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Phone case: noun A $60 piece of plastic to glue a popsocket to and protect your phone from drops | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | How long does it take to die from starvation?Hello everyone
I’m currently 100 pounds I believe I’m trying to kill myself im not sure but I have been eating one meal everyday I don’t like my body I have stretch marks all over u can already see my bones from my back so might as well just end the process | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I saw this video on TikTok and the comments where cringe
It was on TikTok and it said 250 million kids are forced to work in a sweat shop keep in it said 250 MILLION KIDS ARE FoRCED to work in a sweat shop , then it goes to saying that it is 239 million kids and 11 million grown women because people where saying 239 million where men kids, so basically they made shit up saying the video said 239 million kids and 11 grown adults when it was always 250 million kids, and if the person who made the TikTok wanted to say it was 239 million kids and 11 million girls they would have said 239 million kids and 11 grown women are forced to work in work shops, and girls in the comments are like men are stupid they mean 11 million grown women” like y’all acting like you can’t read because it clearly says 250 million kids not 239 million kids and 11 grown women lmao. And girls use statistics only when it’s in their favor it seems because all the girls in the comments of the video said it said 239 million kids and 11 grown women, like what y’all are the people who didn’t care that 7% of the people who kept and watched Jews at the Holocaust was women even though they treated the people worsts than the men because the other 93% where men and no one was going saying that the statistics where different because the Holocaust was bad and nobody should have them done like that, they also when you bring up how men are more likely to be murdered they go like “ WeLl It’S oThEr MeN” like ok still it’s a negative and you try to make it right | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I need some help So these this boy i have sat next to in at least one class since year 7 and I can’t tell if I like him as a friend or more.
For some information, we joke around a lot and tease each other.
Also how do I know if he likes me? | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Sick of failing at life, I want out.Friends, family, pets, therapy, nothing seems to work. My brain is still fighting against me and my heart is still broken. I want to die, I just don't know the best way to do it.
I'm exhausted from doing this for years. Being on a roller coaster that I can never get off, where life gives you a high moment only to come crashing back down and remind you that you're worthless and can never stay at the top.
I want to be done with it all. I want my emotions to not rule my life. The pain to end. I'm a burden to everyone around me and a stain on humanity. Happiness and good fortune were not meant for people like me, I should never have been born. My death would correct that mistake. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I’ve lost almost every reason I had to keep livingI’ve thought about ending my life so many times over the years, but I’ve always had something stopping me. I knew if I did it while I was in high school my mom would most likely be the one to find me. I couldn’t do that to her especially since we had both found my dad after he died. I live on my own now in a completely different state. For the first few months I used little things to keep me going but I just can’t handle this anymore. I live alone, I don’t have any close friends, and my self esteem is at such a low that I can’t even bare the thought of leaving my house for groceries or work. I’ve tried my best for so long to remind myself of all the good things I have going for me, but I know that any happiness I experience is short lived and my reasons to continue have all disappeared. I want to end things but I’m scared. I don’t want to die alone and I don’t want to fail at my attempt whenever I end up following through. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | COMMENT FOR AN AWARD I keep getting them and its just such a pisstake to take time and award summin else | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Social experiment People will like this because this is nothing and has no reason what so ever | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | This girl has been looking at me since the start of school this year Since the start of junior high this year, I've noticed this girl looking at me everytime I accidentally glance over her. We've made accidental eye contact in class, in the cafeteria, outside at recess. I have no idea if it's just coincidene or what it is.
I've also tried to contact her trough Snap, which didn't work out what so ever. You see, she was hanging out with a guy that was bullying me the whole 7th, 8th and 9th grades (the guy is just a general asshole, I've heard his friends talk shit behind him even). Anyways cutting to the chase: I was snapping with this girl, she replies with pics of that dude sitting opposite to her, we go trough a nice conversation, untill the dude swoops her phone, starts calling me names and stuff. Right as I thought I got rid of him, he ruined everything again. After the incident I've not dared to speak with her ever again.
I also asked about this from my friend. She said that when a girl is sending pics of another dude to me might be a sign that she's not into me. Then again, what is the staring about?
Any of y'all got any ideas? Coincidence or a sign? | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I feel like something really bad is going to happen to me soon, and my cats feel it toofor a few weeks now, I feel this feeling, weight, it feels like I'm going to die, I don't know how to explain, I don't know if it's because my crises got worse and I'm just thinking about bad things, I tried suicide not long ago and worrying about everything, I'm afraid, I normally wouldn't be afraid of death, but you know, this feeling is being really bad, my two cats got closer to me these days, they watch me all the time and lie down with me, it may seem crazy but I think they feel it too :( my anxiety and insomnia are attacked, i don't know what to do | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Why will you not kill yourself today?I'm feeling suicidal. Can't remember why I'm alive. Currently 54 users online. All of you people- tell me why have you not killed yourself today? Why are you still alive?
Edit: Wow this blew up. Didn't expect so many responses. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Friend contemplating suicide, need help ASAP.On of my friends have been contemplating suicide for several months now and I think he's at his limit. He's said he's though of several methods with things around his home. He's getting shit from his parents saying that his Dad calls him "worthless" because he gets bad grades and he says "it sheds a bit of his humanity away" whenever the dad gets angry at him, his mother is hardly around because she's a Jehovah's Witness and he says he can't find help. Its gotten to the point where at this moment, I'm afraid that he has ended his life at this very moment and I don't know where to go. Please Redditors, help me with this situation and we maybe able to save a life. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | My mom has covid. Fuck. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | cataclysmive been actively sabotaging my own life - i doxxed and threatened to kill all of my friends, so i have none. the only connection i have with anybody outside of my family (which i never liked anyway) is a teacher from my high school, but i can't contact her. the more and more america turns into a police state, the more my thoughts of killing a politician or senator intensify. if i had a gun, i would have killed someone already. i havent been able to contact my counselors for about a week. im really worried | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Today I learned.... Jehovahs witnesses has been labeled as a cult and is seen as an evil organization by some people even. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | What movie would be at least half as long had the main character not been a fool? I have no idea tbh but theres gotta be some good answers lmao | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | My $5 mouse finally gave up after almost 4 years. Couldn't believe it would last this long. A wire loosened, causing its fate. Unfortunately, that means I have to use my trackpad and can no longer play games.
However, my $1 headphone is still going strong after 3 years. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | i call this the “V” ahem. 🌕🌘🌒🌕🌕🌘🌒🌕
🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌖🌑🌔🌖🌑🌔🌕
🌕🌕🌑🌓🌗🌑🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌘🌒🌘🌒🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌘🌒🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌗🌓🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌖🌔🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕 | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I'm adulting!! So today, I cleaned up my depression room, I did my laundry, made a doctor's appointment and a dmv appointment to take my learner's permit test! I know it doesn't seem like that much but I'm really really proud of myself and I thought I'd share:) | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Y’all ever just think about the origins of the Universe? Incoming existential crisis. I’m going to apologize in advance for how I may make you feel by making you think about this. Don’t read if you don’t want to.
So the origin of the universe is kinda fucking insane and makes little to no sense if you think about it. Like, the Big Bang happened, but what was before that? Where did it all come from? It had to come from somewhere, so where? It couldn’t have just, always existed, you know? It’s just, you’d think there would be a way to explain it, but there isn’t. I don’t get it, I honestly don’t know if anyone ever will get it. Even black holes are fucking insane. Information can’t be destroyed, but black holes destroy information. We have absolutely no idea what goes on inside of one because of that. Anti-matter should also exist in the universe according to math, but it isn’t here. The CMB gives us an insight into the beginning, after the Big Bang, but what was before it? Was it a singularity? If so, where did the matter from that singularity come from? Was there another universe before it, that all succumbed to gravity and fell back into itself? If that’s the case, how many universes have gone through their life cycles before? How many will come after ours is gone? How many intelligent species have existed in these universes, and how many are in our own? So many questions that I will likely never get the answers to. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Just spoke to a suicidal friendI don't know if this is the right place to go, but I'm not too sure where to turn. I just spoke to one of my best friends who has just split up with his girlfriend after roughly 4 years (the first serious one of his life). We're both pretty young (17 y/os) so not only does he have little experience with this sort of pain, but I have little experience with dealing with helping him out in this case.
He's considering committing suicide (I know he considered committing suicide before he had this girlfriend). He also told me that his grandmother (who he is very close to) may have lung cancer, which is also causing further distress to him. He told me he wanted to get out of the country and just get away from everything. I tried to assure him that life would look better in the future, but I'm really not sure what to do. This is where you come in. Advice would be very welcome. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Don’t know where to startI have had depression for a while, 4 years. Before COVID I would cope by going to live-action events that would give an adrenaline boost and force me to see people. It was my main hobby, I would enjoy every weekend traveling through my country, running, playing and being with friends.
Ever since COVID this has been gone, and I don’t know what to do really. I am failing as a person, sometimes I can’t event get out of bed and the only thing keeping me day to day is feeding my cats. I try to study but is like my body won’t listen to me, and I get called lazy and screamed at for this. I get extremely clumsy and forgetful and money is tight. The only thing I can stick to is excersise because it makes me feel good. But once that is gone I would go back to felling like shit.
I don’t get support from my mother (when I tell her that I am depressed and need help she just calls me lazy) and my country does not offer great support either, plus COVID has made medical centers imposible to reach to.
If I wasn’t in the picture things would be so much better, I would not suffer and my family won’t struggle financially to keep a lazy person. The only reason I haven acted upon this urge to end it all is because I am still deciding the least painful way to do it. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I really don’t know how to cope anymore and I’m thinking about ending it all tonight.I really can’t do it anymore. I am so fucking confused what my emotions mean and half the time I can’t even feel anything. It’s like my emotions just cut out. And then my therapist is a fucking asshole, all she wants is to get paid and never actually does anything. I have tried asking for a new therapist but my therapist always says she is the best one for me. I have been cutting and I just keep going, I only do it on my hips so no one can see but it is getting harder to stop myself from doing it elsewhere. I don’t want anyone to know so they can stop me, I just want to be done. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, I just want it over. No one cares I have tried to say things even to friends and all they say is how much worse their life is going to be. They don’t care about the fact that I’m gone they’re just using guilt against me. Whenever I try to say something anymore even to my sister all she says is, “don’t say that it’s not a joke” uh yeah I fucking know that I wasn’t joking. I just want to be done with it all and experience the next great adventure. I’m not afraid of what comes after I’m afraid of dying I know it will be painful and I’m not sure how I want to do it yet. Please someone help me before I get lost in my thoughts and do it. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Just help pleaseI don't like living without her. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | i'm not suicidal, but i'm definitely having an existential crisis.How does one deal with the knowledge that the universe will one day end? I find no solace in the idea that we should try to do the best we can while we're alive.
Let me stress: not suicidal, just on the verge of pulling a Chris McCandless. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Today Is the Day...Today is the day that I have decided to end it. Nobody cares about me. Nobody will miss me except my mom but at least I won't be a burden on her anymore. People I thought were my friends have abandoned me. Act like I don't exist anymore. I reach out and and get no response. I'm the black sheep . The one everyone avoids. No friends. No job. No money. No home. About to be evicted in a few days. And now no life. Crazy how when I had my shit together that I was always the one to help people. To lend them a shoulder to cry on. An ear to listen to their problems. Some money to help them out through a tough time. I never asked for anything in return. I just loved being there for others because I knew that they needed someone to make them feel like they were worth it. Now I need someone and there is nobody there for me... It really is a dog eat dog cold world...
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Tonight I take my last $20 and buy some cheap vodka, some pills and head up to the roof top of my building and I'm going to jump and hope this 10 story fall does it. It will probably be messy but oh well. I doubt I'll feel anything. Bright side is that at least I get to go out on my terms. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | RELATIONSHIPS DONT EXIST hello I have to announce something, the truth. people who are in relationships are aliens from outer space, peace out my beach hippies. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | My apologies for the wall of text. I didn't revise it to make sense.I don't even know where to start this.
I want to die. For the first time in a long time, I've cried. I sat at my computer looking up poisions and just started crying. I don't know what to do. If you want a backstory, read below. I just wrote it all out because I don't what to write. I didn't write it to make sense.
I'm 16/male. Pretty average age to be suicidal, right? It's sounds awful to say that, but it's true. Part of the reason I'm feeling so fucked right now is because it seems everybody is. Since the school year started, I've had one "acquaintance" (who I hadn't talked to in two years) kill himself, three other friends attempt it, and three more cut themselves. I don't know why I hang out with these people if they make this seem like commonplace to me, but I digress. New friends would be great, but I've never been much of a social butterfly and that hasn't helped since I've been so... I don't even know the word. Depressed? since the start of the school year.
In late August, I fell in love for the first time. It was with one of the most amazing girls I've ever known (by far the hottest out of our group of freinds), and despite both our faults, it worked. For two days. Those were by far the best two days of my life, and I do not regret having them at all. At the end of the second day, we went to a party together. This girl, let's call her M, got completely trashed, and I got a little to high for my own liking, but that wore off pretty quick. I had never had a girlfriend and she was the second girl I'd even kissed, but I wasn't stupid. We ended up in the host's parents bed room, and ended up making out for a few hours. Apparently I wasn't bad at it. Things progressed, and I realized that M was going to try to fuck me that night. I had to much respect for her and for myself to be able to lose my virginity to a drunk girl that I wasn't even dating, and I had gotten the idea that she was only doing it because she was drunk. Whether or not her only was getting frisky because of the liquor is up for debate, but in my mind I was doing a very scummy thing and had to call it off halfway through, because I was disgusted with myself and couldn't get an erection. M, being a year older than me and far more "experienced", didn't understand what was going through my head, and ended up ending our un-offical "relationship". My friends still give me shit for that. I let my first girl, who was the hottest girl almost any of us knew, slip through my fingers because I *couldn't get hard*. That's not how I see it, but the insults still sting more than they mean them too.
I was heartbroken over that for weeks. On and off we hated each other. Eventually, when we got back to talking, I found out that she started cutting herself again. I knew she had and eating disorder a few years back before we met, and she cut herself around the same time, but it freaked me out. I am very sensitive to cutting, because at the end of 8th grade I had been admitted to the adolescent psychiatric ward of my local hospital. As anyone who has seen those places knows, it's full of suicidal kids who cut and binge and purge and are so amped up on meds some of them can barely talk. I kept it together throughout the entire thing (leading to me release after 11 days, most kids were on there for months), but I had shared rooms with mutilators, seen a girl get sexually assaulted by the hospital police, and saw three people actively try to kill themselves. It definitely had a lasting effect on my psyche, but I kept that mostly buried for as long as I could. Seeing M fall into that same pattern of behavior fucked me over big time. I started becoming an insomniac because of the added stress coupled with everything else I had going on. I just couldn't stand the thought of waking up in the morning and finding out M had killed herself, or was in the hospital for trying to OD, or something along those lines. Between me and Ms mutual friends, I think we had a minor impact on her just by talking. We were unable to get her to get any clinical help, but I did the best I could. I was able to put the thoughts to rest, but not before becoming "that creep who freaks out whenever I do anything" in M's perspective.
I had a few other freinds start doing the same things. I don't know how to cope with it. I don't understand it. I've never had any intention of self-harming, sans suicide. I can't grasp the concept of wanting to cause yourself pain, but that doesn't mean I can't understand trying to escape it.
Because of this episode with M and my other friends, I became an insomniac, as I said before. I had a brief phase where I was beginning to think I might has inherited schizophrenia, because I was extremely paranoid about everything amongst having some thoughts that I just couldn't shake. These included suicide. That eventually passed, and I'm just chalking it up to stress and lack of sleep. However, this greatly impacted my social life, and I forgot how to interact. I'm at the point now where I do not talk at all in school, I have maybe two friends that I see regularly, and I don't know what to say to anyone new. Even if I had an interest in a girl (or guy, I don't even know. 16's a pretty strange time with hormones, too), I wouldn't know what to do with them. I feel like a mute, and I've been thinking recently about stopping talking. I don't know why, but I just feel like it would be a good choice. It feels right. I don't how to interact with my friends any more. I can't think of anything to say, and I don't often want to see anyone.
I'm bored in school. It's not that I don't like learning. Learning is what I excel at, and everything else I'm terrible at in comparison (that's not to say I'm bad at other things; I'm just a fantastic academic learner.) I've set up my schedule to graduate early from highschool by a year. I'm talking a full schedule of straight honors classes, 4 of which are a grade a head, two of which are AP. Learning is what I'm good at, and what I love. But it's too fucking easy. My GPA is something like a 95%. I shouldn't be able to do that. Everyone I talked to told me that this should be difficult. I sleep through class, I do less than an hour of homework most night, I don't study for tests, and I still manage to get straight As. I don't cheat, I do the work, and I'm good at every subject. I'm not challenged. I know for a fact that I could go to class one day a week and be able to get these same grades. My daydreams during class do not consist of leisure, they are about math and science. I have constant thoughts of just walking out of the class, because it is just so much fucking bullshit that I have to sit behind a desk, not paying attention, just because I am told to. I don't know what to do with this, and despite the fact that I should be grateful for my gift, despite the fact that I know it means I'll have a great future, it makes me want to kill myself. It makes me so anxious that I come home at the end of the day just shaking. I feel like I'm a major league baseball player thats playing around with a kindergarten little league team.
I like chemistry, biology, and medicine. Combine those, and you get pharmacology. I like drugs. It's been a hobby (borderline obsession) of mine to just spend a little bit of free time researching drug action. This has been going on for years. I don't know why I do it, but I want to make a career of it. That being said, I've found it hard not to abuse. Especially with this fucking depression, I see that drugs have enormous potential to take away my social anxiety, to take away my depression, to help me excel further in school, and to just be fun. I don't know how many people know that I've experiment with various drugs. I'm getting the feeling that people are beginning to see me as a junkie, and I'm tempted to become one. If I'm so bored in school, I'm thinking that popping a point of MDMA or drinking a bottle of DXM before school will at least entertain me in my own head. I don't give a shit any more about whether or not it effects my life, because I know that I've got my own potential.
I'm paradoxically motivated. I'm working to get a job, I'm getting straight A's, I'm working hard to get into a good college, I'm working out. I want to kill myself.
I want anti-depressants. I'm smart enough to know that they *can* help, and I might just need that little help a long with some therapy to get me out of this. I don't know if I could just go in to my doctor and ask, or if I'd have to try to kill myself first.
I hate therapists. I've been in a mental hospital, been to various consulers at various ages, and all of them have just made me loathe the entire scene. I've had one guy I ever liked, and he's the same guy my mom see's, but I was only able to schedule on visit. I went in once, tried to email a few times after, and got no response. I don't want clinical help, but I'd do it if I had to.
I haven't spent a day in the past few months where I didn't have a thought about killing myself. At first it was just fleeting, but now it's down to the point where I can't got 6 hours without thinking about for 10 or 20 minutes. I've got a lot of shit going on that's out of my control, and I've broken my options down to suicide, becoming a junkie just to have some fun if nothing else, or running away. I am more than confident that I could do all three with the same ease that I live the life I'm living now.
I want to know there's another option out there.
I don't want to hear the "you're life is beautiful, you're a fucking flower in a sea of wonder" bullshit.
I don't know what I'm expecting out of this, but I just want my life back. I want friends, I want to be happy, I don't want school to suck.
| suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Other Teenagers: Accidentally got a girlfriend Me: Accidentally got gonorrhea.
PS: Congrats on getting a gf | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Anyone else go to ebay and search cheeto to laugh? Its so funny because there's people selling cheetos for thousands of dollars and I can't stop laughing now. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | How do I even start my suicide noteI have been planning this for a while now. So no one can stop me. Nothings getting better. I have planned my suicide, everything about it, how, when, where, time, everything. But I don’t want to leave without leaving a note. I know I’m going to hurt people when I leave but I’m just hurting them more by staying here. I don’t want to leave people questioning themselves asking themselves if they were the ones who drove me to kill myself or if they could have done something differently to stop it. I want to set the record straight and let them know it’s not their faults. But I don’t know how to start my note. Can you help me please? I know that is weird to ask. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Not sure if this is allowed but I’m here if anyone wants to talkI’m 33/female and I’m not gonna give you corny lines like it gets better. Life fucking sucks yo. Lol. And I hate cops so I’m not trying to pull any shady shit either. I just know how it feels. And I’m in a dark place right now and I know the only thing that’s gonna help me feel better is helping someone else feel better. Some people made me feel like absolute shit today when I did nothing wrong. Kicked me while I was in my lowest point. I want to die, but I’m not going to kill myself.
On another note - WHY does the phone autocorrect it to milk myself 😅
Anyway. I’m gonna be online a little while longer tonight. If anyone wants someone to just listen, I’m here. I’m not biased. Not religious. Just an unemployed girl who’s alone. With a dog. If I don’t answer, I’ll be back online in the morning. I am here for you. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | sooner than I thought18F. this is my first reddit post. I have nobody, not even my own family. I have no friends. I have a significant other who makes me happier than I have ever been in my life but I cannot tell him about any of the issues I'm having. I am causing too many problems for him. I do not deserve him. I am living in an unfamiliar state across the country and do not have the first idea about how I could get treatment, and besides, I have no health insurance and no job. I also refuse to take SSRIs. I wish there was a way to get rid of the pain besides suicide but it is my only option, I am doomed and stuck in a downward spiral and I cannot stand this feeling for much longer. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Anyone wanna compare sizes? ;) My Minecraft world is 14 megabytes | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | How are you? Important to know Hello kind stranger! Ho are you? Do you wann tell me about yourself? | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | how long has it been since it snowed for you? its been about 2 years for me :/ idk im just curious how long its been for some people | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I hate Egypt i hate this place I hate Egypt i hate everything about it and everyone in it i hate its streets i hate it's education system i hate the government i hate how they think i hate how they're living
Every dream i had is destroyed by Egypt
Every wish every fantasy they destroyed it
All hope for things to get better is shattered
All plans go in vain
I hate everything about it and i can't even kill myself because i am religious
Running away will never help either
I have my Dutch passport
Travelling to another country will not help i still belong to this trashass land and this community full of assholes
I was born here. I am Egyptian.
I will for my whole life think Egyptian and live Egyptian
Even if i was on whatever land
This is who i am and i hate it i will never find love i will never be happy i will never do what i love i will never have good internet i will never enjoy video games i will never make a movie i will never be a teacher i will never have a pet i will never go to parties i will never do anything and i blame Egypt. Egypt's effects will stay on me forever like a trauma i also blame my family for not running away when they had already had the Dutch passport it wouldn't be better but i would have appreciated them trying
I hate Egypt i hate life | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I need help. I can't cope anymore and there is nobody to talk toPlease. I feel desperate.
I get an overwhelming urge to cut my throat and/or wrists at every opportunity..
I nearly do, until I consider my family. Every day is a struggle weighing up the pros and cons. Please help me | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | The more the time the worse it getsBroke up with the love of my life. I swear it's been one and a half days and it's getting worse with time. I miss her so much. I miss texting her at the morning and night. Texting her throughout the day. Talking on the phone at night. There's no reason for me to use Facebook anymore. She is completely gone and it was my fsult and can't do anything about it. It's the worst feeling ever. So much pain and it gets worse when I reminisce about the good times. The good times of my life was with her. Today I dreamed about her at night. When I woke up I felt utterly terrible. My life is completely fucked. I feel bored, sad, unmotivated. I feel like a zombie. I don't even care about finishing school. Everything is black and white. I don't have a therapist nor a psychologist and I don't think they could help me. The only thing that could help me is her. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Boys, tell me about time u felt sexually harassed For me, some guy publicly complimented my ass in high school | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I just want to end itI wanna commit suicide, I contemplated it before and nearly did it about 3 months ago. I wanna do it because I moved from another country, I hate my stepmother, I lost almost all chance of getting into an Ivy League school because of the move and the recent climate surrounding acceptance, I'm fat and can't seem to get rid of it even after exercising for 2 hours a day and eating well, I was born into the worst economic depression the world has ever seen in modern history, I have friends but they are either half a world away or feel fake, I haven't even kissed a girl, I hate myself, constantly am anxious and only made my new friends by accident, I know the reason I don't dream is because my mind hides them from me because I have had nightmares that made myself sleep in my room with a knife because even though I knew it wasn't real I just couldn't and I feel as if I've already reached the peak in my life even though I'm not even in high school yet | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I miss himMy friend, my life long crush that I was to scared to act on, is dead. He was hit and died on impact. I miss, him, and I know if I’m gone I can see him again. I’ll be happy and peaceful if I’m gone. I just want to go home and be with everyone I’ve lost. It’s so much easier than this place I’m stuck. I miss him so goddamn much. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | my grandmother probably will pass in a year Guys, don't know where to start. Just a couple of minutes ago I overheard a conversation, my mother, with my brother.
Really don't know where to start, it is my favorite grandmother, and she has cancer for a year. Last year she had and surgery and chemotherapy and everything were fine until now. She was yesterday at the hospital and had some sort of observations or Idk how to call it. Nothing wrong for her, but my mother works at that hospital and knows much more
So, I am not completely sure if it is true what the title says, but anyway, the cancer is progressing, and the point is why I am posting it to this subreddit, is that I am a teen, and maybe had the same situation and can give me some advice?
P.s I am going also post it later on r/advice and maybe Christians, cuz idk really what to do ;( | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Gave it 6 months now I am back here... fmlI tried, I really did! I found someone (call him John) who had the skills and interest to help me fix my business to hopefully get it back up and make some money. TWICE he had his own little mental breakdowns and has left me stranded in a worse place then when he came on board. He was very cruel and said things that were horribly offensive, probably knowing my state of mind. I thought i was being nice and let him stay with me rent-free. Nothing physical, just business but he was a half-wreck as well. We both thought we could have a mutually beneficial arrangement.
I can't try again. This six months was hard and I am financially, physically and emotionally spent.
At this point I have said out loud that unless a ridiculously large amount of money comes my way by 9 pm this Wednesday, (Oct 19) then I will act out my plans. Nobody around here knows yet as I am not 'crying out for help', mainly because there is nobody to whom I can cry.
I have spent a good deal on therapy over the past six months and although my therapist is quite good and is sincere in her concern for my well being, her satisfaction, alone, is not a good enough reason for me to persist in this form here on earth.
I had an acquaintance who said that the only reason he didn't take his own life is that it would destroy his parents and family. I can tell you the opposite is true for me. My parents do not like me and have banned me from their presence and my siblings would love my share of the parents' estate before they would be sad at my departure and in fact would be the recipients of my not too shabby estate since I have no offspring.
Since the last time I was here, I have ordered and thoroughly planned my minimalist funeral without ceremony or memorial. As I have been paying for it in installments, my wishes must be fulfilled by the undertaker. I have sold almost all of my belongings.
Each week I convinced myself to hang in because John promised he would be able to do the few things I can't afford and can't do myself and it will be great. He made some lofty promises and finished the work to about 90% on Saturday. I saw it. In the end, he had a fit and deleted the entire site and now I have no money or knowledge to reconstruct it. That's it.
At 9 pm last night, he wiped out the last four months of our efforts, knowing full well how devastating it would be to me. My brain is so mushy that i can't even figure out how to buy a cheap custom website from Asia to replace it. I have some screen shots only.
I can only imagine that he wanted to see if his actions could push me over the edge. I say YES... defeated... I am thoroughly defeated and as I am not expected anywhere before Nov 11th, I suspect my corpse will be reeking before anyone notices that I am not around.
I don't even know why I am posting this. I will post again on Wednesday after 9 pm. Please do not PM me with platitudes and such. I am done with that too. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Nothing matters anymoreI have told people so many times how badly I'm feeling, and they don't believe me. They think I'm joking, they think I'm making it up, they think I won't really hurt myself. People say I can talk to them anytime, I write emails, I text them, I try to reach them, I go days and weeks and months without hearing from them. There is nothing keeping me here, and I can't imagine going through the rest of my life being this depressed and lonely. I see no other choice than to end this as soon as possible. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Why is there blue cheese next to my name Please help me I'm scared | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | The fact that I'm still breathing should offend you.I have no business being alive.
I don't think I can stand to waste another day here. I've been pushing everyone away so that I can finally die without them caring. I hope I've done a good enough job, I don't want to hurt anyone but myself. I fucked up my life. Everyone I went to high school with have jobs, cars, people who love them. I have nothing. I'm just a waste, nothing that will be missed. Every time I try to get my life on track, shit goes bad. I keep getting knocked down, and this time I don't have the strength to get back up. I wish I could give my life to someone who could make something of it, someone who isn't pathetic like me. Unfortunately, I can't. All I can do is end it and hope that whatever comes next, if anything, isn't so bad. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | git commit die are we friends fingers crossed | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | kill myselfim 52 years old and sick of life and living im going to end my life | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | iI will go through long periods of being normal and functional and not having any symptoms or negative thoughts.
Then I am thrown into the negative/unhealthy thoughts and my symptoms start coming back. This is one of those times where it has come back. When I am functioning and “normal” and I look back on myself when i am not being normal, it’s like looking back on a different person. Looking back I know how crazy and annoying and weird the things i think are.
Now that i am back in this mindset I feel crazy. But mostly i’m frustrated. I am beyond frustrated I am like this. On good days I can convince myself i’m normal and i was just going through a phase. However, in times like this i am reminded that i am sick and this will always happen. I am not normal. It feels like a hidden sickness that I have to work so hard to hide from everyone. I am disgusted and disappointed in myself. I wish I could always feel “normal”. Now day to day I am exhausted and I feel alienated and alone. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I'm invisible, I don't think anyone will notice if I goI really hope I succeed this time, this time I'm going to jump, all I have to is jump and I can be freed from my ill mind. I feel so unstable it's unbearable, I feel out of my own control. Suicide is the only way I can control my life now, I want to do what's best for me. No one listens, no one cares. I don't know it just hurts. My heart hurts, my soul is tired. I don't want live like this anymore. I feel so alone. I have nobody, I'm 17 yet I feel like a ghost. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I don't wanna be 18 How am I gonna scare creepy fucks out of my dms now? I'd just say "I'm a minor" and sometimes they fuck off
What am I gonna do now? | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Hey ladies, if you like big penises, then you’ll like my... PERSONALITY
and if you like small penises then you will like my penis | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I have to find another home for my cat, because I don't know what will happen to her if I die.This is all I can think about yesterday and today. I don't know what will happen to her when I lose this. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Anyone else not tell anyone or show any signs of your depression?I haven't told a single person how I feel and I've never mentioned anything relevant at all to depression or anxiety. I completely hide my emotions. I've never went to a doctor, never took meds or had a single therapy session, not even one friend or any family member knows how I feel. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I built a website that will help small resturants and cafes to generate digital menu for free. I'm super happy for this. QR Menuu (www.qr-menuu.com) allows resturants and cafes to create and customize your digital menu in just three steps for free.
I hope it will help small resturant owners strugglilng during the hard times of COVID-19 | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I have to go work at 4:00 in the morning during the weekend # nothing to see here, go on with your day
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Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Is this how I get free Karma? Check the icon next to my username... | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I've set a goal to help motivate myselfI need something to help motivate myself. I've spent the last 2 months feeling basically lost, and it's about time I change that. In the next 6 months I intend to save at least $10,000; obtain some sort of employment that will provide me with at least $35,000 in income annually; have surgery to repair my hip; have my heart diagnosed and treated; and get myself in shape again including regaining a 6-pack, cutting my body fat to no more than 10%, and increasing my total weight to at least 210 lbs. If I can accomplish this goal, then I intend to reward myself with a trip out of the country. I love to travel, and I've always wanted to do more of it. I always have a reason not to though whether it be financial or otherwise. For once I'm going to put aside any and all reasons not to go, and I'm just going to go for it! I will spend New Years Eve in another country no matter what it takes... preferably with someone to accompany me. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I wish he would ask me out. I’ve liked this guy I’m friends with for months and god, I wish he would just ask me out. He’s so nice and my perfect teenage dream, I’ve never crushed so hard on someone in my life. He doesn’t use his phone much and I always feel like we’re drifting, but then he finally looks at his phone and I’m roped right back in. I’m always scared I’m being clingy but I can’t tell if he likes me, and I get so excited just by talking to him. | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Tonight I finally end it, but before I go I want to have a conversation.A real one, without the mask I wear to appear socially acceptable to society. I want to speak my mind without fear of rejection and without worrying about whether or not I might offend someone just by existing. I get it - I'm not what people expect. But other than being "different" I haven't done anything wrong.
Tonight I end it but before I go, please talk with me. It can be about anything. I just want to have a conversation where I don't have to lie at least once before I die. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | If it ever comes down to it, I know how I'll do it.So it's back to this. Where I constantly think about everything that's wrong with me.
Unlike my friends, I don't have an amazing social life.
Unlike my friends, I don't do sports.
Unlike my friends, I don't have a single girl on my phone, much less had a true girlfriend.
Unlike my friends, I didn't have to suffer losing all of my friends 3 times already.
Unlike my friends, Nature wanted me dead. A statistic.
I don't care about the violin anymore. It's not like anyone is going to care about Orchestras pretty soon anyway, with many of them starting to shut down and the only people attending are old people. All the Band members say our orchestra sucks and no one cares about us, and I used to argue with them about it, but now I just don't care anymore.
And this freaking physical disability I was born with, left me with scars and minor scoliosis. That's real great, out of the millions of different, better people my parents could've made, it's me. The defect. And living in this society, where everyone seems to be so obsessed with how beautiful humans have to look, I'm the sore thumb that sticks out. Fat, stretch marks on my belly, wearing a mohawk which sometimes is off-center, my Mom's stupid face on mine. People constantly make of fun of me on how weak I am...
...but I'm going to show them. They'll know how strong I am. When they'll see just how I decided to end my pitiful existence. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Power Rangers Samurai was the best one Agree or be incorrect filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | In 26 hours it will be 1 year since I attempted suicide and I don't really feel any different1 year ago I was at Rock bottom and nothing was going good or right. After my attempt I went to therapy which helped and got some more friends, made more memories, found something to study in University (going next fall), my life is on track and I should graduate 2 years earlier than everyone else, I * almost went on my first date, and nothing bad has really happened. But I feel about the same as I did a year ago. I feel sad, empty, and hollow inside. Crying helps sometimes it feels good to get it off of your chest but I just dont care about it anymore. I think I might try again tomorrow but I'm not entirely sure. Don't know what else to say sorry. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I'm really tired of thisI wanna reach out I really do I really fucking do wanna get help but it's hard and I'm just giving up on trying to now at this point, I have gotten help in the past, I got anti depressants and a counselor but the meds didn't work and the counselors just left me not even saying that they were leaving, they just gave up on me I'm really that much of a burden am I. I'm tired I'm so tired mentally and physically I'm tired of being told to get help and that things get better. most of all I'm tired of being left and abandoned from people that I had the guts to talk about my problems to and then it gets thrown all back at me, I give up all my work was for nothing my dad doesn't even try to understand me he just says he does but in truth he doesn't and then says that everything's just in my head and that I'll get better. my mom hasn't tried to talk to me after my 1st suicide attempt. none of my relatives cared, I'm done with everything, I've been alone my whole life and had no one to talk to I've been groomed and been touched by one of my grandpa's friend and talked about it once and just was laughed at and haven't talked about it since. everyone gave up on me I guess it's time for me to do the same, I'm 14 everyone calls me mis except my family and I'm tired of life and been waiting for 6 years for everything to get better and nothing has it's just been getting worse. I'm a mess | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | My last hopeGoning to visit the doctor tomorrow to get some anti depressants. If they don't help me i don't know what will. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Paracetamol OverdoseJust wondering how much it hurts, probably should’ve asked before but kowabunga or whatever | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Right eh going to bed If anyone has really low standards and wants a friend I’ll get back to you in the morning | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | I am here to make a post since apparently people I know can't imagine tho... hilarious couldn't be me | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | 22 and feel like a major burden and just going down hill.I over think things and feel the worst pain in my chest when I get depressed. I have become more depressed over the past few months and have decided to just end my life.
I'm afraid to, but I feel like it's the best thing to do. I'm unsure when. I want to do it within a week, but I'm just afraid to.
I have writen down reasons to live, how I feel, and a suicide note. I have these saved on something that no one will ever be able to access or know what todo.
I don't know why I'm saving them. Just to have them I guess.
I plan on going up to the mountains and speeding off the road. It's be best way to do it. It will look like an accident and my family won't think it was suicide. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Can anyone relate ?So I recently cut off all the people i considered "friends", and it is for several reasons. I have already lost plenty of friends in the past, and it has hurt me although it shouldnt. I am 22 now, and I'm just fed up with always being there for people when theyre feeling down but them not really even hearing me out when im going through shit. I hate that the only time I hang out with people is when we all drink, which alcohol is indeed ruining my mental health as well because I am an alcoholic. There are plenty of other things that make me want to cut off all these people but those are the two main things, also because i want to cut them off before they cut me off and i do think it will happen because theyre really not good people. What I plan is to let life bring me to better things through me going to the gym more often, and finally starting college again next semester. I'm hoping i might meet new people or get into better hobbies. I have also decided to stop smoking and drinking since i dont enjoy it at all anymore. i do also want to get a new job soon but feel as though i am not ready but we will see what happens. Anyways, im hoping anyone can give advice or share similar experiences where they just cut off a bunch of people, thanks for letting me share :) | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | why is it so hard to dielike i didnt give my consent to be born in the first place this is bullshit i wish i could just swallow every pill possible in the pantry and itd just turn off my everything instantly agh | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | wait girls.... hear me out ur gamer bf fricks u while u wear his headset and all his friends listen and degrade u😃 ..... yea | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | nobody knows mePlease help me. I'm so lonely that I can't fucking breathe. I can barely see. It hurts so much. I never let anyone know me and now I am absolutely alone. I'm young, pretty, everyone wants to fuck me but nobody wants to know me. Once my looks go nobody will want anything to do with me. I wanted to be an artist, but I'm not brave enough. I want to disappear. It's already starting. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Why can't I just kill myself NOW?I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want ... ah. I want to die. And I have the plan. But damn it. Waiting so long becomes frustrating.
I want to wait a year. Just to fulfill a stupid dream. But right now ... waiting for that year seems like forever. I´m going to sleep ... maybe I'm lucky and I won't open my eyes in the morning. (: | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Best friend is suicidal, I feel helpless.My best friend moved a few years ago and now we live in separate states. We have stayed very close. Lately her life is going downhill and she told me the other day that she plans to commit suicide if things don't turn around.
I am obviously very worried so I told her family, who still live near me. They seem unconcerned. They have given up hope on her and told me to stop taking responsibility for her life and be supportive but ultimately let her do whatever she wants to do.
No, fuck that. She needs HELP. I am the only one who hasn't given up on her and I can't do anything to help. I live 2,000 miles away. She doesn't have a reliable phone so our contact is sporadic and mostly on her terms.
What the hell do I do?
Edit: We are both over 18, I live at home and she lives independently. To be honest I don't even know where she lives at this point in time. She is not in school and she is not working at the moment. She doesn't have any friends where she lives now. Her family is collectively unsupportive, so that means her aunts/uncles will follow suit if the parents are unsupportive of helping her. She does not go to church or do anything social. There is truly no one else I can think to contact to help her. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Hey girl, are you antimatter produced in a hadron collider? Because you're hot as fuck but I doubt you'll stay around me for long
~~Ok these are starting to get depressing~~ | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Ever lie on your bed just chilling and all of a sudden, you remember you have to wash the dishes and you know your parents are about to come home any time soon? | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Can't think of a title. Suicide. Depression. Rant. Idk.I honestly don't know what I'm doing here. I never make the existence of my depression or suicidal tendencies known to anyone. I guess anonymous online is the only way I can get this off my chest and talk to real people.
First off, I imagine this will be long, just a warning and an apology. After typing: and a rant. Sorry.
I want to kill myself. A lot. Right now. But this post at least postpones it for a bit. Because as badly as I want to kill myself, I feel like I'm not justified in doing so. I feel like I don't have a reason to be depressed, but I am.
Now story time. If your still here, thanks I guess. So part of the reason that I've wanted to kill myself is because I have been very depressed for nearly three years now. Three times I have been at a point like this where I'm on the brink, and in the past have chosen life. Because "it will get better" or "look a year down the road, things will get better." Well, been there, done that, and life has only really gone down hill. Partly because my depression has been destroying my life.
Part of the reason I feel like I don't have any reason to be depressed is because generally speaking, I guess life is "good." I'm in high school now, my family is okay financially, I have a couple of friends, and I've always been the straight A student with initiative. I'm part of the school band, jazz band, and marching band. My family is nice I guess, my parents care to an extent, I have a job that pays, though it sucks. I'm pretty good in the computer science field which is were I want to study, and I guess I'm by definition "smart."
So why the heck do I always feel like crap? I don't have any reason to be. Idk. Maybe it's because I've never bothered to worry about my mental and emotional health. Always figured I could tough it out in the end. I over exert myself, try to do to much. Lose sleep, push myself too hard mentally, because I will technically live through it. 18-20 hours of working on something because I should be able to handle it. But I'm always depressed, I overextend. My grades suffer because I can't keep up, feeds my depression nothing is getting better.
Then there's social life. I've never been much of a social person, because I don't get the desire for social acceptance, or at least don't need it. But I've always been an introvert. I'm not the awkward nerd, just the "mean" one, because I'm sarcastic, pessimistic, and a bit cynical I guess. In realizing this a long time ago, I strived to be a nice person. Be better, put others before me. Rarely got me anywhere and got me burned more often than not. But hey, I tried. So I only have a few friends, who are still pretty distant. And though I don't crave social acceptance, being alone for years is just crushing.
And then there are some people that seem to actively try to make my life miserable. Like spreadsheet rumors for whatever reason. I don't get it. I guess f-ing up my life, making people berate me and think I'm a terrible person rather than just ignoring me like in the past. All so they get a few minutes of social attention. People are such hypocrites.
And then there's just people in general. Sorry to everyone. But so much of the human race is scum. They're rude, offensive, selfish, and prideful. Just try to be nice when talking to a stranger.
There's also the whole "no reason to exist argument." What's the point when all I'm doing is jumping hoops to make a paper look nice so when someone looks at it for 30 seconds to decide whether or not to admit me to college when they're tired and distracted by the prospect of errands after work. Then years going through college to get another paper to make me "qualified" for some job to slave away to earn enough money to live an okay life and survive, even if there are a few happy moment. Maybe have a family. But ultimately be forgotten and nothing matters. And I know it's about the journey, but the journey has been stressful hell for the past three years, with only depression as company. And I'm religious I suppose, so I guess I should have a perspective on things and whatnot.
And now I'm sitting here. Typing this, having had the last straw. It's stupid but it hurts. One of my "coping methods" is to play video games. I know it's escapism a lot of the time and I don't do it as often as most high schoolers that do play them. And I an attempt to still be that nice person, I let my siblings play my smash bros game when I wasn't around, giving them another chance to actually out stuff away when they're done and be careful. Low and behold, they didn't put the stuff away, again, and long story short the left out game disc was snapped in half by my ~~baby~~ toddler brother. Petty thing to be the last straw? sure. But only after a long, terrible, depressing day, thinking I could come home and have maybe an hour of peace before I had to get up and do the same routine and jump the same depressing hoops again.
Still reading? Sorry, it's all stupid. But I can't take it anymore and just want to die. End it all. I know it was a rant and this and that, but hey, I'll post this anyway because throw away account and waiting for responses can maybe postpone killing myself. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Looking for a specific Meme/Tweet, please let me know if you've seen it It was this screenshot of a tweet where a guy was treating porn stars with statistics like actually sports players. It had like squirt percentage, other stats, it said she played in the BBC conference which was the toughest conference.
It was really funny and I want to see it again, but I can't find it. Thank you if you let me know where to find it! | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | hiii anyone down to chat? it’s past midnight and i’m super bored. anyone wanna chat or something? i have discord if that’s easier, either way is fine by me. also i’m super fucking depressed and angry but i don’t wanna talk abt it :) dm me pls and look in my bio for info abt me | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | some stan account on twitter is getting cancelled for not posting about jungkooks birthday lmaooo i hate these people so fucking much istg | not suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Im So SorryI'm sorry, I'm about to vent my feelings. I'm not like everyone else. I didn't get abused as a kid, I didn't get raped or anything and Im still ending myself. My whole life I've been alone. Since elementary school I saw how fucked up the world was, all the events of that time, the wars, the people, my parents arguing and leaving me by myself until it was night because they worked so much and expecting so much for my future, so I woulsnt be like them. Im sorry I can't meet their expectations. No matter my grades, no matter how hard I tried they only talked about how I could be better, I can't remember them asking anything on how I felt about this. On top of this no one would talk to me at school, I was bullied and the teachers yelled at me, I don't even know what for. My family is religious and I thought myself to be too. I didn't hate it at first but my father being a pastor would drill it into my head, I knew the religion wasn't the bad part but recently when I tried to tell them how I feel, my life and all the other struggles I've been having he said to me "If only you were more subservient to God, you wouldn't be like this". It hurts, im so weak, I try not to be affected by my parents but that line hurts so much. My friends kept telling me to talk to my parents and school did and society did so much that for some reason I thought it would work. I wished it went differently, I wish they cared about my feelings, my emotions. Me as a human. Im so selfish, I just wanted someone to love me for who I am. Im so scared for my younger brother. I love him so fucking much Im afraid he will turn out like me. The only person who knew is a close friend of mine who I told a few days ago when she reached out to me. She's also Christian and truly believes I will stay live, she doesn't wave religion at me like a weapon but she has been talking to me when Im breaking down (like right now), she treats me no differently and holy fuck I want to tell her how much I've been in love with her for the longest time. June 30, thats when I become 18 and that's the day Ive decided on. Ive been spending my time tying loose ends but today when my mom came in and started yelling at me about alot of things I wanted to tell her to fuck off and what Im going to do but then suddenly she changed and was telling me how much she loved me and talked about my future and everything. Ive planned this for so long I put minimal effort into everything so im going to a community college and I didnt apply for any scholarships like that but when she was talking to me I couldnt tell her, Fuck. I went on reddit and just wanted to see what subreddits there are on this and Im here now. My first time on this subreddit and Ive spent the whole day reading each post and sitting in my bathroom with the vent on bawling my eyes out. Im sorry, I dont want this to be a pity party but I just needed to vent today and I feel so bad that you guys who have so many damn problems in your life and im over here being a wimp. All I can do is read your stories and cry because I cant really do anything to help, and I dont know you but know until the end of june there is a skinny asian dude crybaby who loves the fuck out of you guys. If I remember Ill make a post to talk to you all when I OD. | suicidal |
Below is a reddit post. Label it as "suicidal" or "not suicidal". | Unpopular opinion How many people you have kissed doesn’t matter, how many people you’ve cheated on and how long your relationships generally last do | not suicidal |
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