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CSSRS-Suicide

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KAIST-IC-LAB721 4

Its not a viable option, and youll be leaving your wife behind. Youd Pain her beyond comprehension.It sucks worrying about money, I know that first hand. It can definitely feel hopeless, as you seem to be Tired aware of. Your wife might need to chip in financially. I know time is an issue, but even 10-15 hours a Asthenia could alleviate a lot of the pressure. In the meantime, get your shit together - write that resume tomorrow. No excuses, get it done and send it out. Whether you believe in some sort of powerful being or force governing things or not, things really do work themselves out. This is a big test for you, and youll pull through. Just try to stay as positive as you can and everything will work out.

Supportive

It can be hard to appreciate the notion that you could meet someone else who will make you happy when you are so deeply in love with your boyfriend. Your desires are set on him and not much else will make you happy at the moment. But over time the mind has a way of dealing with loss, this is a proven fact in psychology. Over time, one day you will arrive at a level where you again feel at peace and can start feeling comfortable at looking into new relationships.It is certainly uncomfortable dealing with your current situation but do understand that with some time and patience the Pain will go away and you will get through the difficulties that many US students are encountering with debt, unemployment and undervalued degrees.These are problems that many of us are facing right now, you are not alone. It is crushing to face all these difficulties at the same time, but getting through them is what is going to make us stronger, smarter and more emotionally aware than any generation that came before us. ', 'The voice is just a voice. People can praise you, people can hate you but it doesnt change who you are. Think about it. People can come up to you and say you are awesome, but does that change you in any way? No. It is a psychological thing.Think about how absurd it is what you are saying here. A little voice is telling you to kill yourself, so youre actually going to do it?If I went up to a random person and told them to kill themselves, they would probably walk away from me.You should persevere. You do so by not identifying with it. It might always be there, negative feelings and thoughts always present themselves to us when we are vulnerable. But a voice is just a voice, it is not us, and we only suffer under its rule when we allow it an ear.This happens to everyone, it is just a matter of depth. Suicidal people have invested a lot of energy into "I" thoughts, such as "I am worthless, I am miserable". And you breathe life right into them by doing that, and they come back to sap more life. Let them starve!Any insult against you is worthless unless you give it credit. It is like a cheque that bounces at the bank.So dont give into your negative thoughts and feelings. Stop giving them credit. This is hard in the beginning, and hard over time, but you know you can actually be content and live a decent life if you take this seriously. Stop giving the "I" so much credit.', 'You indeed sound Tired bipolar. Bipolar is when you take things to such extremes. It is a terrible illness. I suffered it myself at one point, and have taken lithium and a variety of other medications to deal with it. Its not so bad. It helps. But ultimately the problem is a psychological one. Youre going to have to feel your way around your body and understand your own psychological profile, your triggers and so forth.What is also Tired important to note that bipolarity is a two way street. You might have these extreme moments of aversion (the knife carving incident), but what people dont realize is that you also have your moment of desires, or what I mean by that is, you go way too far into the things you love.If you were just a bit more indifferent about things youd stabilize a great deal, I think, having had the illness. Obviously stop taking drugs and stuff like that if youre taking them, but also stop staying up so late, or doing whatever it is you do to an extreme. Live a balanced life. Bonus points if you find that life boring. Acclimate to that and make it your new norm, a stable life is a happy life. Live a stable life where you are relatively indifferent to most things, you will enjoy your accumulated efforts over the years and you will be pleased. Do NOT go into extremes of Pain and pleasure, which is essentially what you are doing. Leave well enough alone.', 'You will always come back so much stronger afterwards. Ive been cheated on in at least one or two long term relationships, sometimes I dont know if the girl was faithful in one of the relationships, I digress... it is extremely painful, you will suffer for months on end but when you come out of it you will be better than you were before, hardened by fire. Then you will meet somebody worth your time. The person Im going out with now is the best person Ive ever gone out with by far... the experience will prove that you are worth someone who is loyal and awesome.', 'You should never allow yourself the space to feel those feelings. They are not some sort of natural feeling as people say they are. Any sort of feeling that started back when you were a teenager aught to be called into question. We all have many stupid feelings as a teenager. The problem is when those follow you into adulthood.I know people who are over 26 years old and engaging in the exact same habits that they were since they were 13. I mean thats just sad. When are they going to grow up and move on? Why do people get stuck with such old sufferings?Life is Tired hard, it is a constant improv but there are different ways of looking at it. Not everything is "bad". Just because youre suffering doesnt mean you need to take it so deeply to heart. I mean come on, you have a family that loves you. I avoid a lot of problems because I try not to focus on myself so much. I think of what I can do for others. This might sound egotistical in itself but really you have to understand the notion behind it. When we think with our mind, we always become Tired miserable. We never become happy through the way we think. Nothing is ever perfect or good when our mind has a say in it.But when youre trying to help others, its through the heart. And it feels good to help them. It makes one happy.I always recommend in these difficult times that people stop placing so much importance on their mind. Never allow negative thoughts inside your mind. Protect yourself with positive emotion. If robbers were pounding on your door, would you open the door to them? No. But then Suicidal thoughts come, and they are just as bad as murderers and those who want to harm your wife and family. Why do you allow them space?It is Tired important for you to manage your mind. If you have difficultly conjuring positivity in your interior world, then you need to step back and question why that is? What is holding you back from being a happy person?Quite often you will find it is these "old friends", these thoughts you identify with so much and feel to be so real. Its almost like they understand you.Well you made them with your thoughts, they subsist on your energy that they gain from you eating your food. Its entirely personalized.That is why it is so difficult to stop identifying with the thoughts. But you have to realize, they are coming to you, so theyre not you. Theyre just thoughts. Youre in control. You dont need to feed into that destructive cycle. Force the negative thoughts out, constantly demand that they stay out. Cultivate positivity, love your wife and child, do things to make them happy. Absorb that in.Positivity drives the negative thoughts out. Negative thoughts when accepted destroy the positivity. Its a real dragon and tiger scenario, but you need to stick on the good side. Never give the enemy an inch. Theyll take a mile. Retire your old way of thinking. It is a failed way. It has done you no good. Open your mind up, embrace positivity. Have a revolution, insist on embracing life. Well all die, sooner or later but lets have a part in bringing happiness to this planet while we can. We need people like you to help us, to come and help others. You are strong, youve made it this far. But you made a mistake, you leave the door open to that old enemy. Close it, close it every time and bar it off. You are not that thought of suicide. ', 'I was like you once, I was miserable and broken. Almost ended up with my life completely ruined, I lived way too dangerously and almost lost my freedom, ex long term girlfriend and everything I loved. I turned my life around, picked up the pieces and built a new life out of it. Now my life is exciting, I am talking to a beautiful new gal, am progressing well in my studies and everything is looking up. Do not identify with the down times in your life. It always seems like it will never get better but thats not true. Eventually good things do happen, but we all have to do our part too.', 'Dont be so hard on yourself man. Ive lived on my own for only like five months and Im 27. It is extremely expensive to do that sort of thing nowadays. Back in the day, you used to be able to build a house out of logs and a guy your age could have 6 kids already. Nowadays many are lucky to buy a house by the time they are 50.Dont get all tied up in with this society. It will burn you out. It doesnt care about who you are inside, it just cares with what you can do. Mechanical labor.Be OK with taking some time for yourself. Stop dating for a while. Be OK with taking some time to relax. You are too wound up. You arent going to find happiness by "doing things". No matter how big the check list or how many things you check off, that does not necessarily mean you will have lived a Tired successful life.Instead, take some time to get to know yourself. When you lay down to have a nap, dont completely go to sleep, just rock back and forth a little bit to barely stay away, and just feel yourself in the bed, just be aware you are there and keep doing that over and over again. Feelings will come to you and thoughts will come to you but you will become more aware of them. Just really feel them and get to understand them.You can change how everything is. The reason you have all these girls cheat on you is because you cannot see them for how they are. Youre not able to see their real values, youre not able to see who they are by just looking into their eyes.Take some time and read some philosophy from ancient Greece, appreciate some fine art, read Wikipedia.Its OK to take time. If you just go out there again like a wild animal, you will be in a wild chaotic abyss of angst, Fear and listlessness. ', 'Just be. Look at how you are thinking here:"Ive never been good at anything. I suck at school, sports, art..everything. I have considered suicide on and off pretty much since I was 13(Im 20 now). I never had friends Tired long, they always decided they didnt like me and stopped talking to me."Each of these thoughts is self enforcing. They were created by you and fed by you. And they will cease to exist when you stop feeding into them. It is a negative thought cycle.No self respecting person accepts negative thoughts, negative emotions or negative people. Try to see the good in everything, to watch nice things and be around people who give you positive feelings.If your boyfriend is just sticking around for the money... well then, that doesnt sound Tired positive, does it? Only you can know if he contributes positive value to your life.But how foolish it is to assume that by going through the same psychological cycles that things would improve. Life works in cycles. Everyones goes to work, goes home and watches TV. That is hardly unusual nowadays.The difference is, people can deal with that because they dont think negative thoughts about themselves. You have to close the doors to all negativity, it is up to you. When you open the doors to negative emotion, then it will sap you greatly.Spend some time around your mother. See the positive in your relationship with her. She can teach you a lot. But you have to be willing to learn.

Ideation

Hi, so last night i was sitting on the ledge of my window contemplating whether or not i should jump. My dad had just choked me and told me that i should get out of the house, and earlier he had called me a bum. To me it seemed as though there was no reason to keep living, the people that are supposed to care about you the most dont. But one thing echoed in my mind, and that was something one of my best friends had told me: you dont help yourself. And reading through your post made me feel like thats also the case for you. Maybe instead of cutting things out, add some things into your life. Go outside, take a deep breath, and talk to somebody new. I dont know your financial situation, but if you can take lessons, join a gym, take classes, the most important thing is you do something for YOU. Be a little selfish, take yourself out to eat in your favorite restaurant once in a while. Try some new food, but do something. If you do read this, please know a lot of people feel pain, youre not alone. <3', 'if you want to, please pm me', 'There are always people that want to listen and help, you just have to find them. You found me, a random stranger who happened to click on this subreddit and this post the night after he almost committed suicide in order to find help. I realize that its difficult to change the mindset of how it all seems to be hopeless and bleak but theres one thing that i can ask, and thats: do you help yourself? Youre working for a fortune 100 company, but was that what you wanted to do? Do you have hobbies to take your mind off things? Are you taking classes in things that interest you or spending time doing things you enjoy? If not then please start. Maybe this is the time to start joining a gym, playing a sport, reconnecting with old acquantences if you still have any contact information of old friends, just make sure to do something for yourself.', 'Please listen, nobody makes the best decisions all the time. Theres no way to be perfect, and right now i dont doubt that it seems like there is no way out from that black pit, but committing suicide wont help that, i dont know what your exact situation is but there is a way out. Consider all of the decisions you can make this moment, and know that dying isnt the only decision. I probably cant do much more then tell you what you already have heard countless times: things get better. But its only the people that keep living that get to experience it.

Behavior

I tried to kill my self once and failed badly cause in the moment i wanted to do it i realized that i want to live! I still have Suicidal thoughts and i often question myself why i even carry on! to be honest i cant give you a catch-all conclusion for that prob. But what really helped me was changing my life rapidly like 360 degrees! i started doing sports although ive always been a loonly gamer... i also made some friends and i managed to get a girlfriend whom i really love! To come to a point this might be no reasons for you to live on... I can only tell you that you have to figure out yourself if theres something worth living! In my point of view it can only get better cause if you kill yourself its already over! Why not see what comes next is my personal attitude since a while !All the best', 'Keep your head up! I know that feeling you got right now but there is always a reason to carry on! Suicide is never a proper solution! There are so many people who really like you as you wrote yourself friends and so on whom are worth living on for! Even if life can be a real asshole sometimes there is always a second chance! When did you stop giving yourself a second chance? Dont give up hope! I belief you can find someone who loves you the way you are ! you just have to carry on! Try to talk to friends or your parents if you feel down! Explain to them that you feel so loonely! This helped me alot! Just carry on i beliefe in you! All the Best PAul ', 'Hang in there i know that feeling! I know the Feeling hopeless you feel right now so well! Ive also experienced challenging stuff in the past months! I have been in hospital for like 5 months in the past year! In addition to that i was struggeling hard in school due to my ilnesses! Furthermore i did attempt to kill myself like 4 years ago... But all of this shit has only made me stronger has made me to the person i am right now! Today im at university... i mean not everything is perfect now but what i figured out is that there is always something worth carrying on! I now have new friends and moved out from my parents house! its a good feeling to live alone although im still dependent on my parents in some ways cause im a student! Sport and playing guitar really helped me to deal with my all day depressions... always when i notice that i fall back to me depressive patterns i go to the gym or play my favourite song on guitar (even if i cant play it to well)! somehow this reminds me that there is always smth that makes me feel better! Just carry on and dont be afraid of rapidly changing smth. in your life! Sometimes change is what you need to get on and find yourself!', 'I know exactly how it feels to be under constant Pain. Ive experienced intense Pain which kept me from even getting out of my bed for more than a year... the Pain was mostly caused by a nerve which was injured... furthermore my doctors told me that it was partly produced on a psychological basis. I had to take extremly strong painkillers for a long period of time which lead to a easily recognizable twist in my character... i was frequently aggressive aswell as feeling Drowsy and Anxiety most of the time. In addition to that i felt so much hatred for the rest of the world because i felt it was so unguilty that i had to suffer such Pain while other people whom were also my age (im 18 btw.) where at good health. Today im nearly 19 and after several extremly Exhaustion hospital treatments ive overcome the worst Pain. What i want to tell you is that you can overcome all that! There will come better times! Now im in a happy relationship im selfconfident again and ive managed to recognize that my character consists of more than this period where i was sick! Ive also thought of commiting suicde frequently because my childhood wasnt that nice either... i was buillied frequently and my mother suffered from breast cancer... all in all it was a really hard time.. i had no friends and with 15 i tried to commit suicde. but today i know that its no good solution! If you commit suicide you give away the chance to become happy again.. to meet people who like you the way you are and who understand what youve been through! I know it often seems as if the Pain would never end but believe me im convienced better times will come you can make it if you only hold trough! Never give up on yourself ! you are more than just Pain! You have overcome so much by now keep going otherwise all the struggeling would have been useless! Always remind yourself that there are still things you want to experience when your healthy again! YOu can make keep your head up!!!

Attempt

Hi NEM3030. What sorts of things do you enjoy doing?', 'Personally, I always welcome music suggestions with open arms. Nothing like losing yourself in music, escaping for even just a few moments.', 'I am only a bit older than you, and oh, its maybe not useful, or comforting, but you have my support. Rarely is a day where I dont suffer from thoughts of self-harm... I hope your days get steadily better. I really do. Best of luck to you.Edit: Hobbies. That really keeps me going. I hope improving a skill will make things brighter for you too. ', 'I too, am a lady, and I agree with Ray_adverb12s advice 100%. I feel the exact same as you, only I am a female. :(', 'My little brother possibly killed himself and let me tell you, its been months and I havent gone a day without sobbing and considering suicide and feeling like my ribs were splitting apart. Please /u/Holy_Panda, dont end your life, or your brother may Tired well end his. He will never, ever get over it. Grief will color his world grey for the rest of his life. ', 'You are such a brave person for going through all this... Stay strong. <3

Ideation

Since I dont know what DBT is, would you mind explaining it to me a little bit more? I am really sorry to hear that someone who is supposed to be helping you is actually really mean to you. Thats definitely not right and not fair. Are there people other than that person who you can talk to? Im honestly not sure why they shunned you and it sounds like you dont know, either. But Im not sure if that would have anything to do with tomorrow.Your plan sounds really Pain for you. Just to make sure I understand, you have 30 ish cuts on each arm, so 60 in total? Im Tired concerned for your safety, throwaway_lives. What symptoms are you having?', 'Wanting to wake up and have your life to have been a bad dream sounds like you are Tired scared. Hitting rock bottom is also not a pleasant thing to experience. Is the DBT lady the one who conducts the therapy sessions with you?', 'It sounds like you are feeling really scared. So much so that you want to kill yourself. Im concerned about your safety. Especially since you said that youve been carrying out a plan for suicide. Is there a chance that we could talk about it?', 'Yeah, I bet that would make you really tired. 9 days in a row is a lot of days to work! I can hear that youre feeling a lot better. If you ever need any support, you can always message me. Like I said, my schedule is really sporadic, but I will get to you in time.', 'Have you shared the thoughts and feelings youve been sharing with me with your therapist and care coordinator? Even though your care coordinator has been mean to you, I would hope that she would be willing to help you.Im super concerned about your safety right now. Youve said that youve reopened the wounds. Are they Bleeding? I want to keep talking to you, but Im concerned about your wounds. Did you open them up by picking at the Scab of skin or with a knife or something similar? I can hear that it is hard - almost impossible - for you not to try self-harm. But I am concerned because I want to keep talking with you as long as possible.', 'I hate it when managers do that. It really sucks. :C I used to have a manager that did that to me and I felt Tired frustrated because I was doing the best that I could. It sounds like it was a good time for you and it sounds like youre feeling refreshed. ', 'I can understand why it would be hard to talk about if its taboo.Yeah, when no one is listening, its easy to feel ignored. I dont really know what all youve done, but I do know that its hard to meet new people. I also kind of feel the same way, that were all alone in the world. But I think thats why we need each other sometimes. Its hard to feel alone all the time.Okay. Take care until then.', 'Have you tried to tell her that you feel that shes being mean to you? Because, well, it is her job to help you. She might not even realize that shes being mean to you, if that makes sense. If you tell her that sometimes she makes you feel like vermin, maybe she will realize that she has done wrong things to you.Okay. Is the knife still there with you? Like I said, I really am concerned about your safety. And I want to keep talking with you until you dont want to talk anymore or you need to go to sleep. And Im Worried that the knife might get in the way of you staying safe while talking to me. I really just want to listen to you. And I can hear that you feel that you dont deserve it, but I feel that everyone deserves a listening ear when they need it.', 'Okay. Thank you for being honest with me.', 'Im sorry to hear that you had a bad night. Life is Tired frustrating, so I hope youre holding out okay.Im glad to be here. I know that my schedule is pretty fucked up, but I want to listen to you when I can. Thanks for the compliment. I think its pretty amazing that youre willing to be honest and open with an internet stranger.', 'Okay. I just didnt want you to think that I disappeared on you in the middle of our conversation. I really like the name Hope. Thats really cute. She sounds like shes been a good kitty to you through all of this. Not being able to open up to people around you who may be important to you sounds Tired lonely. I think youre strong for taking care of yourself through this all. Since I am Worried about your safety, Im wondering if theres a service in your area that you could reach out to to help you with the burden for now. Im not sure if seeing a therapist or going to a doctor would be an option for you. Im Worried that something might happen to you while Hope is alive and she wont have anyone to care for her anymore.', 'Sorry. I ran out to buy some cigarettes. Im back now. ', 'Sometimes you just get that little headbutt from your kitty and thats enough. I know that feeling. It sounds like the Spasm have been Tired Pain for you. I cant imagine what its like to have them. That seems Tired scary to me. Are there people who you talk to in your life that know about the Spasm? Like I said, it sounds Tired scary to me and like something that would be Tired difficult to deal with on your own. Im concerned about your well-being.', 'And, again, are the wounds Bleeding at all, a little, or a lot?', 'I like your cat already! King isnt really noisy, but hes definitely an asshole. He lives up to his name. Haha. The thing I love about animals so much is that they always seem to know when Im sad and want to comfort me. Is that the same experience youve had?I wonder if Hope would miss you at all if you were gone. I hear that Hope is a great support for you right now. But I think it might be worth it to find some support while shes still alive. It sounds stressful that your mom is looking for a new job and all, too. ', 'I know that this is kind of silly, but my favorite app game I like to play is 2048. You mentioned that you like strategy, so I think that you might like it. Im too addicted to that game. Do you find that those distractions help you?You know, at the beginning of the conversation, I heard that you were in a lot of Pain. Im just wondering, how are you feeling now?', 'Im sorry its taken me so long to reply. My schedule has a tendency to be really sporadic. Wow, yeah, when you said that they make you feel like youre dying, that sounds so scary to me! I dont know how severe they are, but they sound Tired severe to me. Im Worried something might happen to you while youre having a Spasm and your cat would be Worried about you. I know that you said that it didnt really worked out when you tried to talk to people about it before, but is there a person in your life who you would be comfortable reaching out to? It sounds like youre incredibly brave to deal with something so scary completely on your own.Also, I feel really weird calling your cat "your cat". Do they have a name? My cats name is King. Haha.', 'It sounds like that was Tired beneficial for you. It sounds like you had fun. It also sounds like you have a Tired tough time ahead of you. That sounds kind of intimidating.', 'I am honestly not sure what the A&E is or what their procedure might be. But that sounds really frustrating to me. I can understand why you feel like they dont want to help you. It sounds like youre Exhaustion from getting the runaround by A&E and stuff like that. I can hear that youre in Pain and Exhaustion so much that you want to kill yourself, but you said that theres a part of you that still wants to be helped. I can definitely see that part of you. Its the part of you that led you to post here and talk to the people on this thread. And, while I cant guarantee that they wont notice your wounds, I think that youve already waited months to get the appointment, just showing up would be giving that part of you that wants to live a chance. I am still Tired concerned about your safety, especially since you said that some of your wounds are infected. Would you mind talking to me about your plan a bit more? And the wounds? ', 'Yeah, rejection is a Tired hard thing to deal with. And I can understand that saying anything to her really makes you feel like youre putting yourself out on a limb. Whatever happened a long time ago between one of the therapists, have you managed to talk about it during a session? It sounds really unfair that they would still hold it against you.Thank you. Im not there with you, so I was naturally concerned. Thank you for being honest with me about what youve been going through. I think that it does take a lot of courage, even to post on the internet, to talk about Suicidal thoughts and self-harm. Im really glad that you were willing to talk to me.I really dont know if words can or will change anything, either. But, I just want to offer you support. If you want to stop talking at any time, I understand. I also want you to know that, when we stop talking, you can still PM me at any time. It might take me a hot minute to get back to you, but I will when I can. ', 'That sounds Tired frustrating. Especially since quitting a job or asking for days off is not an option for most people. It doesnt sound like its much of an option for you. ', 'Yeah, I think that animals understand people a lot. Sometimes more than other people. As strange as this might sound, I think your cat has been really great support to you. I understand why you would love your cat so much. Thinking about suicide all the time does sound really exhausting. And you mentioned having Spasm, which sounds really stressful to me. Has there been something in your life that has caused you to want to kill yourself?', 'Yeah, I think its pretty fun, but admit that its not for everyone. Yeah, having things kind of spring up on you can be really hard to deal with. Yeah, it does seem like making yourself not feel the Pain would make you feel empty. Having all that work, too, sounds Tired strenuous. ', 'Im sorry to hear about Socks passing away. I know that animals are different. But I am glad to hear that you love your cat and she loves your cat, too. It sound like youve been going through so many emotions. I am concerned about your safety. When you are feeling lonely, are there things that you try to do to keep your mind off of these things?', 'It sounds like your inability to meet people is a source of great Pain and frustration for you. And it has caused you to feel Tired alone. Thats Tired understandable. And Im glad that you posted and are talking to me, even though you are in Pain and isolated.', 'Its okay. I didnt mean to worry you. I can tell that you are scared. It sounds like some of the symptoms that you are going through arent good. Im not a paramedic or anything, so dont take my word on it. Would you say that DBT works for you? You said that one of them was mean to you, so are there other counselors/therapists available? Someone in that position who is supposed to help being mean is pretty disgusting IMO. You dont deserve someone being mean to you when you are vulnerable. ', 'It sounds like you really love your cat. And I totally understand that love. I love my cat, too. I dont think youre crazy for being concerned about your cats well-being. It also sounds like youre in a lot of Pain. If you dont mind sharing and want to talk, Im really curious about whats been on your mind lately.

Supportive

No matter what you ever think, there will be people who care. Whether they are people like me, who youve most definitely never talked to before or seen, or even heard of, or the people youve known your whole life that youd never give a second glance to. Never. Give. Up. You have a wonderful life ahead of you, I promise. If God thought your life was done and not worth living anymore, He would kill you. You dont need to kill yourself. Please just be strong. If you ever need someone to talk to, Im here. ', 'I hope you didnt do it..', 'Try to forget about it? If not, melting ice on your skin might ease your mind. Just dont go overboard with anything. Best of luck!', 'I can understand why you dont want your parents to know, but I really think you should tell them. Id think they would find out sooner or later, especially since you have to tell the doctor. You could write it down and show them if that makes you more comfortable. Good luck, were all here for you. ', 'I hope you have a Tired lovely birthday. <3', 'Dont listen to your mom, just do whats best for you. It sounds like you need treatment anyway. Stay strong and dont give up! Many people would care if you killed yourself. Including me. ', 'Why not? You can only get better from here. Seek help before you give up entirely, please.', 'How did you feel in those 4 years? I bet it was better than how you feel now. You could do something in the place of cutting, like...snapping a rubber band against your wrist. If you ever need someone to talk to, Id be more than happy to talk to you. Dont give up.', 'This is awesome.', 'Im here.', 'Im proud of you.', 'Hey, hang in there. Every second that passes is another second closer you are to feeling happy, and another second youve survived feeling depressed. Youre right to think about how your girlfriend would react, because letting go of your Pain would just transfer it to her, and everyone who loves you. Concentrate on the things that you like to do, even if there arent Tired many, and push the negative thoughts out of your head. Its like learning a language: over time you begin to speak so fluently that you dont have to train yourself to think in the language, you just automatically do. The same goes for being happy. Over time, it will come naturally. Until then, just keep trying. I wish you the best!', 'Hang in there. Youll be happy that youre still alive in a few years. ', 'Im here for you as well, and Im more than willing to listen to you. Feel free to message me<3 You arent alone. Dont give up. ', 'Doing something I love and thinking, "Why would I ever want to take this away from myself?" That, and because suicide just transfers your Pain to a lot more people. Just isnt worth it.', 'Aw I like that show. And this is Tired nice of you :D', 'You are a lovely human being.', 'You dont deserve it at all...', 'I was kind of questioning if I wrote this. Sounds exactly like me.If you ever need anyone to talk to, Im here. ', 'Just try it! Youll recover with a good attitude. Dont give up.', 'You can talk to me any time.', 'I care. Everyone here cares. Dont forget that.', 'I love you and I hope you make the right decision--life. I guarantee you will find something worth living for in a matter of time, and at least you could get a pet puppy or something like that, someone that needs you as much as the people you dont even realize that need you. If you ever need someone to talk to (or rant to), feel free to message me. Im not some kind of psychiatrist but I do care more than you know. ', 'I really like it.', 'Suicide is never the only option. You arent a burden at all. You need to understand that you *will* get through this if you just wait long enough. Many people care a whole lot about you, and would hate to see you go. I know there are things in life that you dont want to do, but you cant forget about the amazing things that happen every single day. To me, it is worth it to just get a few minutes of happiness out of the day. Youre a strong person, keep it that way. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. Dont give up just yet.', 'I hope you didnt do it.', 'Dont think youre hideous, I can assure you that you arent. Please dont give up now. At the most, snap a rubber band against your wrist. It cant kill you. Cutting yourself can. If you ever need someone to talk to, Im here. ', 'I would suggest doing something healthier in place of cutting when you get the urge to do it. Draw on yourself where you would cut, melt an ice cube on your skin (which could give you the Pain satisfaction without the damage) or even something completely unrelated like drawing your feelings, writing, chewing gum, squeezing a Stress ball. Get yourself accustomed to a new habit that is healthier and instead of getting the urge to cut, you will get the urge to do the new thing. I hope this helps, Im also on reddit a lot if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to message me anytime. ', 'Im so sorry your fiance was such a jerk. That mustve Pain way too much. You cant give up, though. If you kill yourself, youre also killing a baby that could have a wonderful life. You could have a wonderful life as well. What if you meet a new man? What if you make a new friend? There are tons of things that could happen to you that you havent even given a second though to, but would make your life so much better. Dont give up, I know you can get through this. ', 'I agree with both of you in different ways. Although Depression is not something that you can simply tell yourself to get over, you do have responsibilities outside of it. Maybe spending time with your son will even help cheer you up, I dont know, but you cant forget about him. He hasnt forgotten about you.

Supportive

Dont see it as failing at killing yourself, theres a reason why you lived. Theres something for you here on Earth. If you need someone to talk to you can come to me and Ill talk to you. Okay? People have to be there for other people, and you need someone there for you. We can talk and help you through these tough times. ', 'It almost seems like life really isnt worth the living anymore. But you shouldnt end you life. What if suddenly the economy flips for the better in a month or so? Then you may have a chance. But if I were in your situation, I would try to find what made Multiple sclerosis happy. I would most likely pack up stuff one day, leave my house and dead beat job and just drive. Not saying to run away from your problems, but it may be healthy to just get away from the bullshit for a while. Hang in there, life is the only thing we have for sure. ', 'Maybe you should let your family and friends know, reach out to those around you. Ive been there where you want to die but everythings fine. So I know where youre coming from', 'Okay, Ill check up on you every so often. And feel free to message Multiple sclerosis about anything.', 'Well I hope your arm gets better. As for you wanting to be gone, youd be robbing yourself of the only real thing anyone has for sure. Im not sure what youre going through but you can talk to me. Of course when your arm feels better. But dont make a dicission like this without trying everything possible to save you. ', 'Sounds like to me you need help. You should probably just go to the psychiatrist because they can help you. I didnt think they could, but I went and got help and I feel so much better now. Sometimes money cant be an issuing in saving yourself.', 'Thats bound to happen, parents dont like letting go of their little kid who need a handle to hold walking across the street. But Im sure youll get through it, just try to calm him down and if that doesn work give him some space and time to cool off', 'Whats the point in going through life putting all your love towards something that will never return the feeling? Maybe if I up and leave the place Im in because every corner is just another memory of my mind and heart being broken. Although I have no way to leave right now, so Im just trying to work on getting out and maybe Ill find somewhere I can call home. I feel like such a dick for saying it, but the people who are in my life and who love me just dont seem like enough because I cant fully connect with any of them. Even the person who is my best friend, I still feel really distant and detached. I feel like I bring everyone down when Im with them, or at least when they ask me whats wrong and demand to know. They can tell somethings off with me even when Im trying to hide it but I just feel like a burden because I cant over this pain.', 'So first things first, its considered "healthy" to think about killing yourself. But not plan it out or anything, just like "Oh I fucked up I really wish I were dead right now." because it shows that you are capable of admitting mistakes. Now on the school thing, you need to tell your dad whats up. If you do what he always says, hell control you all your life. Youve got to tell him "Hey, dad. Look I love you, but I dont want to go to YOUR school and do whats be for ME. Because thats not whats best for me, its what YOU think is best for me." Youve got to make some of your own choices. Dont plan out a suicide though, that wouldnt solve anything. Besides this has a solution to it. Just speak your mind to your father, work up the courage. Yeah, itll be hard but Im sure youve got support. Be true to yourself, be who you are.', 'Honestly, man Ive been there. The BEST solution possible, is to forget girls for a while. For the "cant get my mind off her" thing, thats always a little tricky. Find something that takes complete interest for you (preferably not music because that usually just ignites thought of the missed person) and just completely let it take hold of you. For me a few months ago it was books and helping my friend with his video game walkthrough channel on YouTube. I just helped him edit the audio/visual and I stopped thinking about the girl. For you what it seems like, is youre confiding your life and happiness way too much into another person. You need to find the love for life FOR yourself and BY yourself. Eventually, youll find that girl whos meant for you. But you need to work on yourself first, and stop putting so much of your heart into another people. Dont give too much of yourself to somebody too fast.', 'xD I really needed that. Im going through some stuff and dwelling on the past. That spider, oh the face at the end made me laugh pretty hard.', 'All I can say is hang in there. Find something you love, something that you can take and actually try to make a living with. Life is all we really have for sure. Im sure theres someone you know who disagrees with you and would listen to you if you open up to them. Maybe lay off the booze, they dont help. Ive been down that road, all you get is a hangover and you feel worse about yourself the next day. Drugs don help either, they may feel like they do but then you start noticing stuff about yourself when you are high. When I was strung out on drugs, I was an embarrassment and I failed most of that year of school. I lost three months last year to drugs and cant remember what happened, my friends just said I made a lot of bad decisions and made a lot of people hate me. So just find something about yourself you love. Think of what hobbies you are into, what talents you have, what you are really good at. And dont say that you arent good at anything, because thats bull. Everybody is good at something, its just a matter of how you choose to use it. ', 'You start feel like theres something wrong with you after awhile. You wonder why people would do such a thing to someone who truly cares. Why would they take advantage of it, use it, and then forget about you like some broken toy. Im sorry that youre going through such Pain experiences. Ive been going through the same thing in life too, but dont stop caring. Never stop caring. People are going to Pain you and that sucks so much, but somewhere theres someone who needs someone to care. Who has no one else who cares and your kind hearted ways will help them so much. Dont allow those who Pain you lead you to change how and who you are. Then they win. You may feel stupid for continuing to care, but you arent. It takes a lot more strength to pick yourself up and continue to care more than it does to give up and become like everyone else. This world needs people who care, we need you. Youll find people who will appreciate your ways. Keep strong.', 'Thats beautiful! You ever think about pursuing a career as an artist? I think youd make it with that type of talent, keep the pen and pad close to you because you really have something amazing there.', 'I feel like a dick for responding with your broken arm and all, but "one less person to deal with"? If I didnt honestly want to help you I wouldnt have commented on your post. And Im sure your friends do care but they are just trying to avoid the issue because they probably think getting your mind off all this will be better. Most people think that helps, but talking about a situation is what really helps. Thats why you should really talk about it with someone.', 'Dont do it! It wont solve anything, wouldnt you rather be able to look back and say "I did it, I stuck through and survived" instead of having a tombstone say "rest in peace"? And you even think about saying "No one would care if I die." well youre wrong because I just read your submit and well I care. Keep fighting through your classes, and fuck the people who say being a writer/editor isnt a real job. Those people are needed in almost EVERY line of business! You would be an important person in society for those skills. Other words, things would get published and have errors and then people would get confused and would be lost. Being an editor is line being a lighthouse on a dark, rainy night. Finding a job is hard though, yes and for that Im sorry I dont know were to begin to help. But dont kill yourself, that would be terrible. Keep hope and love in your heart. Do things that make you happy, and for your own sake you should really think about moving. At least to a nicer place in town, if such a thing exists. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me you want. Just dont give up. :)', 'You say you want to be appreciated, well you pointing out that without you your family business would probably go belly up. That is something special right there. As for your family, perhaps you should try getting closer to them and attempt to become comfortable with opening up to them. Family is important, I didnt want to open up to my mom about wishing I were dead either but then I talked about it. And the sense of relief I felt from it was a reason to live in of itself. Just start having out with your family and get closer to them, that may help with the loneliness. As for the partner situation, keep your head up and be yourself. Although worrying about the partnership situation AFTER you handle the Depression period. Dont put your faith and hope into a person just because theyre your partner and you want to be with someone. We all want love, but we need to learn to love ourselves and love life first before we can work on finding someone to spend your life with. ', 'Yeah! That last paragraph had the spirit. Dont beat yourself up for other people leaving. Thats life, people came into your life and people go out. As for that one person you go to who you say you "basically torture with your sadness" just go to them to hang out and be with somebody. Im sure you arent torturing them, but if you do feel that way just talk to them about other issues, like how their day was (just an example; not implying that you never ask that) but hopefully you get the jist of what I am saying.

Ideation

The reason I have faith in our species ability to spread and survive is that homo sapiens have surpassed themselves over and over again throughout their existence. The species does not stop toiling in its growth for my grand hopes or your bleak existential questioning, rather it utilizes these ideas to bolster its rapid acceleration of ability and the scope of its influence. I believe humanity (it can still be called humanity at that point) will do things unimaginable by the likes of you or me, as it has a billion times previous. Colonization of other planets is not so far out of our grasp as to warrant the need to invoke faith. I take it almost as fact that we can accomplish something as small as relocation of our species.Terraforming too, is something I find small potatoes in the grand scheme of human invention and achievement. Look at the world around you, we have practically covered the surface of our planet with an asphalt mesh of roads. We have dammed rivers, created lakes, and cleared forests. Soon we may colonize the moon, which is little more than a dusty rock ball that happens to have a few ice-water caches within its craters. I consider theres a chance that our species will ultimately be wiped out, just as I consider theres a chance that when I compete I will be destroyed by those better than me, that when I leave my house I will get mowed down by a careless vehicle etc. However this does not stop me from striving to achieve my goals anyway, and I want you to know that ignorance regarding the point of our existence is no excuse for not continuing said existence. We may not matter to the universe, but as far as I can tell nothing does, the only being that cares about my existence is other humans around me. I wont exist in 100 years Ill bet, but that doesnt mean that there is no meaning to the lifetime I find myself occupying now.From what I can gather of you, you have a thirst for knowledge. I daresay discovering new ideas of the world *makes you happy*.You say yourself that you would have ended it long ago if not for your endeavors in knowledge. I want to ask you, have you ever tried living for another person? Have you recently sought to gain happiness by providing joy to another? I myself Tired much enjoy gaining scientific knowledge, but I find making others happy and the pursuit of flow, the state of ones skill level meeting ones challenge, the things that make me the most happy. I also gain great pleasure from stories, relating to the trials of a character and his achievements, hopes and failures.I can try to prescribe these activitys for you, but if the pursuit of knowledge is truly what can stimulate action from you, if it gives you a reason to act and to have goals and to watch yourself achieve them then perhaps you could try to live your life furthering humanitys understanding of the universe. You also have a penchant for philosophy (which is ultimately the school of thought that your ideas lie in, merely borrowing from physics to explain them). Maybe you could try to find your solution within philosophical texts.My point is that you have a capable brain, and I judge you as being far from unimportant, both to our species and to myself. The universe cannot disagree, as unfortunately for it it has no means (to our species knowledge) of observing our existence.I want you to know that I responded to your post because it stimulated my mind, and not because I had the need to stop you from dying. Your existence has meaning with me for a quality you are lucky to possess, not just because you are another faceless member of humanity and I have some broad sweeping principle idea that no humans should commit suicide. Your existence holds meaning with me, and with others, and so I bid you temporarily excuse its lack of meaning with you and the universe.If you commit suicide now, it will be too late. I already have felt your existence affect my life, and because of that your own existence will have a hand in shaping my future existence, which will shape the existence of many others, inanimate or not. You cannot stop yourself from having existed, only from continuing to exist. You lost the chance to not affect the rest of universe during conception, and now you have no choice but to continue affecting it, one way or another. That said, I challenge you to the pointless task of living a full life and going out in a blaze of beautiful glory, having positively touched the lives of many others (just as you have already touched my own) and having achieved a goal that holds a grand measure of importance to *you*. You say that you cannot commit suicide until you are sure that it is the answer, and I say that just because you or I cannot know the point of our existence does not mean that there is not one. I say that until you experience the the wonder of pure joy resulting from having filled another with joy, that until you have achieved something that is important to the unique individual human being that is you, that until you have lived a Tired fulfilled existence that you cannot accurately judge whether there is a point to it or not, at all.I leave the rest up to you, I have given you my surest reasoning as to the point of continued existence and you have the choice of believing it, or denying it and nitpicking at my interpretation in order to fulfill the world view you have previously indicated you have or Fear may be true of the universe... or you can simply take a small part or two of what I have said and use it to shape a new view. I invite you to live gloriously, pointlessly, and awesomely and this invitation will not expire.', 'The thing is, black holes dont swallow space around them like a vacuum, they have a limited size gravitational field and masses outside of that field are unaffected. What I mean is, a black hole will not simply pull all objects towards it, only the ones within the reach of its gravitational force. Furthermore, Wikipedia states "In 1974, Stephen Hawking showed that black holes are not entirely black but emit small amounts of thermal radiation.[24] He got this result by applying quantum field theory in a static black hole background. The result of his calculations is that a black hole should emit particles in a perfect black body spectrum. This effect has become known as Hawking radiation. Since Hawkings result, many others have verified the effect through various methods.[74] If his theory of black hole radiation is correct, then black holes are expected to emit a thermal spectrum of radiation, and thereby lose mass, because according to the theory of relativity mass is just highly condensed energy (E = mc2).[24] Black holes will shrink and evaporate over time. The temperature of this spectrum (Hawking temperature) is proportional to the surface gravity of the black hole, which for a Schwarzschild black hole is inversely proportional to the mass. Large black holes, therefore, emit less radiation than small black holes."So, black holes dont last forever, they actually lose mass over time! Furthermore, given the length of time we have until our sun becomes a red giant and the earth becomes uninhabitable, humans have a large fighting chance of being able to populate habitable planets surrounding other stars. If life is designed to perpetuate life, through means of natural selection as well as through survival during celestial travel via [panspermia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panspermia), as well as through the eventual evolution of cognitive function, which grows into scientific reasoning and technological advances eventually leading into a species gaining the ability to inhabit other worlds, then the destruction of our solar system will not mark the end of life. It may mark the end of humans, theres no way to tell... but I can tell you confidently that we wont take it lying down. When species compete with each other to adapt and be the fittest for survival, the real winner is always biodiversity for earths biosphere as a whole. A variety of species in many areas living many different ways increases the likelihood of life continuing, in any form, by reducing the risk of any single catastrophic event occurring.I guess my point is that life will strive to continue, and singularities dont last forever. If you follow the big bounce theory then all mass and energy would continue to exist following the next big bang, should the universe return to a singularity once more. There is a point to our lives as humans, and we will continue to struggle to claim our place in the universe. Please dont give up hope. Im sorry my answer is more science-y and less therapeutic. If you feel you need some engaging discussion with someone who is willing to put forth the effort into actively seeking to understand your ideas, Im more than willing to talk via PM or right here in the comments. ', 'New stars are made all the time, whilst old ones burn out. Sentient life with the ability to travel to and inhabit other planets (especially with the ability to terraform them precolonization) can manage to survive the appearance of a black hole occurring within its home solar system, and in theory survive like this providing it the ability to survive most celestial disasters. A universal cataclysm may be enough to take out a species or group of species living in such a manner, but we dont know enough about the end of the universe, or the possibilities of life experiencing extra-dimensional travel in order to truly say with any confidence what could happen. I find myself perplexed with my ideas surrounding life, for if it is designed (I use this word in the least literal sense possible) to survive cataclysms and disasters and black holes and the impact of other celestial bodies and continue to multiply and diversify and survive, I wonder at its purpose. Surely there is a reason... I find myself drawn into some ideas I picked up when reading a short bit of Raymond Kurzweils The Singularity is Near. I strongly suggest reading that book for a taste of his Tired interesting and stimulating ideas on evolution, both in the biological world and the inorganic world. I should go back to it myself. Alas, I will have to continue this discussion tomorrow, like yourself Ive had a few drinks tonight, and more than my fair share of hoots this afternoon. Dont lose hope friend, and I hope you can find a measure of solace in the knowledge that having a human being like yourself in the gene pool, who can actively ponder the philisophical dilemma of humanities ultimate universal fate is evolutionarily genius, and nothing but a boon for our species. You truly belong in humanity, and we are better for your presence.

Supportive

A book is usually what I do when Im getting down, but it doesnt work when I start getting panicky. Ill try the carbs, the caffeine doesnt work because Ive gotten it in a movie theater and had a soda with me...', 'A few reasons. I feel backed into a corner mostly. And Im Tired of being Tired of everything. If that makes sense.', 'Thank you! I understand its a sad thing. But I also want people to realize that there can be humor in anything and its the best way to deal with this. Its how I would do it. ', 'I really dont want to ask for help. Id rather not let anyone know Im having these kind of issues.

Ideation

Dont do it man. Seriously this is making me sad. I dont know you but I feel like youve got something to offer. Everyone does. Maybe not now, maybe next year, but some time. You will figure it out. My dad killed himself in his 70s. We all miss him dearly. He didnt think anyone wanted/needed him anymore and his body was failing. If he only knew how much we Pain now many years after.

Indicator

Whats up? Tell me. Im here for you. ', 'Wow. I cant imagine how heavy this must be on you. Cancer is bottom line, scary. I can tell you love your family so undeniably much. You care, and that shows tremendous strength. You are stronger than you know. I believe in you! (Im going to guess youre a male?) Two years, with your girlfriend. Both of you, have stuck together for a solid amount of time. Shes still with you, by your side, and you by hers! Its okay to be afraid, its being human! Being 16, is hard. You need to focus on what will get you ahead, school, education. Focus on having fun, and leaving people that drag your beautiful soul down. Be strong for those who cannot be strong enough for themselves. Remember, I love you. ', 'When I feel blue, I re-arrange my belongings. Living room too. I take down any decorations (cheesy, I know) and refresh them with others. I clean inbetween intervals and blare some fucking jams. Open your windows too. Make the space new, but make it your own. ', 'Do you enjoy school? Any hobbies? Sports? How is your girlie doing? Does she know the intense Pressure youre under? Have you ever talked to someone about your anxiety? (Doesnt necessarily mean a therapist either.) Would you like to PM instead?

Supportive

I wish I could give a shit about what would make it to the front page. I have been there and got nothing. Same as my life. I do have a gun.', 'I thought I was talking about it. I am not on a ledge or something, but I do have my .357 in my lap.', 'No. I made sure she got an education and she knows how to get a job. I also have recently bought her clothes to make her more attractive. She has told me she only loves me because I buy her things.

Behavior

I have one question for you: whatre your interests? Specifics, please.', 'YOU ARE NOT IN PRISON! My God, you are not in a federal (maximum-security) prison. Could you even imagine it? What if someone, for example, planted something crazily illicit on your hard drive, and you were sentenced to 5-10 years for it? THAT would make me want to kill myself. That anguish you feel toward the world is fuel. Your impetus for changing our current global situation rests in your despair. You CANNOT kill yourself. We simply cannot afford it. You are currently (and luckily, too) only constrained by your mental faculties. You are lucky enough to live in a society that lets you speak freely! You can even invent new ideas that change the world. Embrace your liberty!Please let me know about your progress in changing our planetary circumstances. You are our hope! Enjoy!', '"Make a living?" Do what you love. Get MORE education. If you love something, money will follow. You just have to love it more. Go get your MA. Then your Ph.D. Teach it! Research it! What areas of history are your favorite? I specialize in prehistory.', 'Do you know what death is like? Every time I feel like ending it, Ill imagine a true hell: being stuck in my body. I imagine after my heart stops and brain ceases to function, being able to see my dead body. I imagine seeing my family discovering my dead body... What if thats what awaits you when you kill yourself? Death *may* actually be worse than being alive. ', 'I know what you mean. I think about blowing my brains out frequently... I just think about the immensely sweet relief that Ill feel when my constant Anxiety and Fear no longer exist. All of my issues will disappear, and thats all that matters. Why is suicide bad, again? If I am in a certain position in life that is *horrific*, then why should I continue? I am a chemically normal person. That Fear I mentioned above is a result of my bad decisions. I will soon lose my freedom, one way or another. ', 'You didnt get accepted to any Masters program? Did you form a strong bond with that one history teacher?', 'Why dont you, instead of killing yourself in Italy, do something else in Italy? Something interesting...', 'Wait! I hope youll read this comment before you do anything crazy...Life exists outside of the constraints that the universe has set for you. Your bad parents, your horrible upbringing, and your despicable circumstances are all things of the past. All you need is 24 hours of motivation. Purchase a plane ticket and leave everything else behind. I hope, sincerely, that you dont kill yourself. ', 'Like /u/regretnope said, theres certainly no need to rush this. Why not wait and talk? Whats the worst part about your life?', 'You, my friend, are not defined by your job. You are defined by your actions. Blowing your brains out will certainly leave a mark on your loved ones. I am here for you, man.', 'You love coding. Is it something you occasionally look up on Wikipedia or YouTube, or do you actually know how to code?', 'Oh, my god. Do you actually LOVE history? Im getting my degree in Anthropology. I love Anthro. I went into it because I cant wait to get a Ph.D in my favorite subject.Do you LOVE history? And that whole stereotype about liberal arts degrees being "useless" is really stupid. If you want me to go into it, I will.', 'So glad to hear youre alive, dude. Im always here to talk (seriously). ', 'Dude! Your daughters life will NOT be better without you. I want to make that clear. That is seriously the most true thing Ive ever said in my life. Leave your SO if things arent working out. You WILL get partial custody of your daughter, and she will grow up knowing her dad. You are not defined by a job, and getting fired from a job is something everyone goes through. Youll find a new job, and youll get back on your feet. What are you up to, currently?', 'Your most prominent thought might be, "how will I ever find another like her?" That is the most poisonous of thoughts. I know you thought she was perfect, and I know you thought that youll never get another like her, but you will. Dont worry. ', 'I know how difficult it is to sit there and watch the days pile up. "Oh, look. Its another day where I didnt do anything." The more the days go by, the harder it gets. The first thing you need to do is *forgive yourself*. ', 'I looked at your post history, and it seems youre a marijuana user. Wont you miss that? Then again, that could simply be what is helping you cope.In my mind, there are two types of suicide: reactionary suicide and clinical suicide. The latter exclusively involves a mental Illness such as depression, while reactionary suicide can involve a mental Illness, but it also involves the happening of some tragic event(s). Which describes you?', 'You mention legacy; what is its use? The way you touch and help people is timeless. It is what people will remember you for. You literally must *not* kill yourself. Life is not about "destiny." Your destiny has not been written. Any impediments that you currently face can be washed away with ease. Every wasted dollar, broken relationship, and wasted time can be easily redeemed. Enjoy your new life!', 'Please dont do anything drastic. Break-ups are *always* difficult. Those feelings youre feeling are completely normal, and you shouldnt feel bad about them. How old are you? Your life may seem valueless at this point, but it really isnt! Your spouse does not define you, and you are so much more than that. Seriously. One day, eventually, youll finally see the collection of your ambitions and aspirations manifest themselves into a... perhaps... career (or some other venue). Please dont give up hope!I am always available (no, seriously, I am). Please dont be afraid to message me, buddy! Im here for you!', 'Whats your degree in? How old are you?', 'How much aid do you need for a Masters program?', 'You are more than your test scores. You have a lot to offer, friend, and you are just getting started. One day, 40 years from now, youll remember those days when you felt suicidal, and youll be happy. Youll be happy that overcame everything. What are your interests?', 'I hope I can put it in a Tired direct way: there is *nothing* worse that you could do for your daughter than killing yourself. Please stay with us. Everything youve done is forgivable. Whats something youre ashamed of?', 'Yep. Identical to me. Dont know what the hell to do. ', 'You dont know me, but I certainly care about you. I would donate my time, if I physically could, to getting your life back on track. Since I cant physically be there, I could help you get your life back on track via other means. You have a lot to offer, whether you know it or not, and itd be a genuine shame to see you go. People *do* care. If you acquire just a *little* motivation, you can do amazing things. ', 'You are at a Tired young and fragile time in your life. How can your friends be "moving on" when youre all in high school? You have *so* much time to do absolutely *whatever* youd like, and its even better because you have no impediments encumbering you. Youre not blind, youre not going to prison, and you have both of your hands. The world is yours to mold, so jump in! You have all the time in the world, so dont worry. ', 'Whats your dream? Forget realistic.', 'Your best friend is clearly not your friend. He is crazy. Please do not even consider killing yourself. I have been through a lot myself, and I am always here for you. Please message me as much as you want. ', 'What are you going through? How could you end your life when you have so much to offer? Think about your many interests; you havent even explored them, yet! You have many duties, and drinking bleach will only be a blight on your obituary. Your obituary is yet to be written. You have no limits. Dont waste your life away. ', 'What about Masters programs at other schools?', 'Im here for you. I can text, call, Skype, whatever. No judgements. Please PM me if youre interested. Hang in there. ', '>doing it for "myself" seems pointlessDont do it for yourself, then. And certainly dont regard human life as a "game," almost as if theres a single way/process to win it. Seeing yourself as a "resource Hungry animal" is not a correct way to think. It isnt healthy, either. Being able to form sentences like you did in your post means you have *tremendous* value. That value translates extremely plainly into the real world. If you can form sentences, then there is no doubt that you have mental faculties that can analyze, plan, and decipher information in a meaningful way. There are billions of humans who are struggling to survive. Turn your "waste of a human" self into a person whose mere existence transcends borders, nationalities, and prejudices. *Help others*. You will, in turn, help yourself my giving yourself an unprecedented amount of worth. ', 'You arent worthless. No one is "worthless." What are your interests? I can personally train you in a few things. You wont drag her down with you if you dont let it happen. Your daughter needs you, and you are already doing her many favors by simply being in her life.

Ideation

You are not alone, my dear. You have two parents who, from what you said, love you unconditionally. Please please please dont kill yourself. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. At 24, you have SUCH a life ahead of you! This situation is temporary. It really sucks and I feel for you. But as bad as it seems, it will get better. Trust me when I say that it will get better. You have the desire to be more mentally healthy, right? You have the power to change your way of thinking. I know the spiral of starting to believe your negative thoughts. Your brain is LYING to you. You are a wonderful and unique human being with so much to give back. Every day, look in the mirror and name 5 good things about yourself. It will feel silly at first, but something about looking at yourself and saying, e.g., "I am caring." will get you to eventually believe it. Feel free to PM me anytime you need a lift from the darkness. ', 'No life is accidental; especially not yours. I want so much for you to live. I want you to get away from those poisonous people. I want you to start seeing a psychologist (avoid a psychiatrist if you can. they seem more interested in doling out pills than giving you real skills to combat your negative thoughts.). I want you to accept and love yourself for who you are. I want you to get through this and come out the other side. Think of all the young people in similar situations that you can help. You are not alone. You are beautiful. Please dont end your life. ', 'Could you join a support group? Im not sure where you live, so I dont know the resources you have. I found talking to people in similar situations really helped. I would try looking into a psychologist; sometimes a change in therapist is good. Have you asked for help? I know that seems like a silly question and if that came across negatively I am so sorry. I just know that, for me, asking for help was the hardest part. Once I did, I found that so many people wanted to help me. Concerning the license, could you get a bike? Even an old crapper from the thrift store is a start. Exercising will also stimulate those good endorphins and hopefully have you feeling better. I feel ya on the job front. Times are tough and your situation is tougher. Go into every business and put in applications. Once you have a job, its easier to find a better one. The social interactions with your colleagues can also help you feel less isolated. Try not to let your Fear of acceptance deter you. I like to listen to "I Am What I Am" from La Cage Aux Follies when Im feeling bad about myself. Back on the subject... all that I have said above will help you escape the prison of your mind. I can see how moving to a more enlightened area will help you. The reality is that, for now at least, youre stuck where you are. So, work on escaping from those negative thoughts. If someone knocks you down (figuratively), get back up. Because we both know that A. you dont deserve that treatment and B. they are full of shit. You are a good person, worthy of love. I have a mental method my psychologist taught me to build myself up; would you like to give it a try? I really hope my words helped you.', 'Look in the mirror and say 3 positive attributes you have. It will feel silly at first, but its important that you maintain this every day. Im on my mobile right now. When I get home Ill write more.

Ideation

No you are not bothering anyone. View it like this: if you were bothering, would there be a subreddit only for people like you? ', 'Thanks :)', 'Nobody will say that to you if you dont have anybody to talk to', 'I dont think it would be a good idea to make it pay-to-visit. I think it would scare away a lot of people who need help. We could make it ad-based, it wouldnt make much money but enough to power the servers.And the real-life-meeting wont work in the first weeks, because if there are just for example 1000 people who use that website they wont be all over the world. We already have luck when there are two who speak the same language.Im trying to start now but I cant promise anyhting.I just need a name to start, any suggestions?', 'I need it because of the chat function. But even when everybody only brags about the good moments in their lifes, I realize that I havent got any of this good moments', 'Im sorry that Im only able to give the two standard answers, but from my experience they really help:At first, if you dont do already, talk about everything. Everything you want to talk about (or even dont want to talk about)My other recommendation is the butterfly project: http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ for example she could do it with your name.I hope I could help a little bit. Take care of each other :)', 'Please tell us youre still there. Talk with us! Please...', 'Please tell us you are still alive! Nothing in this world is bad enough to kill yourself! Talk to us, it will help!', 'First of all: why would you want to do that? There are many things worth living for. Do you have any specific problems? Do you want to talk about them with the community / me?There is no easy way to die and even when its easy for you, its horrible for other people.', 'yes that would be a nice idea but it requires a lot of work, I hope Ill start tomorrow after school. Do you have any ideas for a name? I am sorry to say that but I see follwing problems in this idea, although I would like to work with it:1. A domain costs money, around a few $/month and the free servers are likely to crash every few days.2. Then, how should they contact? I owuld suggest adding multiple options like skype/reddit/phone/kik/etc.3. What about privacy?4. Maybe there are some idiots who want to harm other - already self-harming - people.5. I would need somebody to do the translation as my English isnt as good as it should be.What if, instead of meeting, we just offer a country based, skype/reddit/etc. adress book so that everyone in for example Germany gets the skype ID from somebody else in Germany?', 'I just found out that there already is an app for that: TalkLife on Google Play (didnt check on App Store)', 'Hey :)I think Im in a smiliar situation as you. Do you have any reasons for being depressed? I know this question sounds dumb since there arent always reasons when you have a Depression, but if you have reasons, feel free to talk about it, the community and I will listen to you.And take a look on the positive sides: You wrote that a lot of people think your Depression gets better, so there are people who care about you. You should pick one or two of them and just talk openly about your problems and you will probably see how much they care about you. And if (what I hope you dont do) really kill yourself, they will be destroyed and maybe get a Depression themselves. Do you want the people who care about you fell the way you feel?Now for the self-hamring part: I too have been self harming for months. I suggest you the butterfly project: http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ It has really helped me although I cant promise that it helps everybody but its definitiely worth trying it.Tl;dr: Talk about your problems :)', 'I dontt know why, this song always cheers me up alittle bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqgHosrqJ8o', 'Thank you, that are great names :)', 'Hello :)do you have reasons for thinking like this? did anything happen that makes you think like this? do you want to talk about it? The community and I will be here for you.:)', 'At first: thank you for seeking help on here. Do you have any reasons for your suicide thoughts? you should talk about the reasons, the community and I will be here for you.Just dont do anything you will regret later.:)', 'yeah but I see them in their successful moments and realize I havent got any successful moments', 'My problem is not that people on social media are cunts, they are much more successful than me and that makes me feel bad', 'carry her to the next car and drive her to the hospital. if you are not stron enough ask f.neightbours to help you. Or just call 911', 'Just dont kill yourself. You have something to live for: Your cat! Just imagine what it would be like to her if her best friend wouldnt be there anymore. She couldnt stand this, so just dont do it.', 'You really should tell her mother, she has to know what happens to her daughter ', 'iOS too, online too: http://talklife.com.au/

Behavior

oh, doh.I had someone tell me similar recently, so took it seriously.', 'Hes calling out someone for promising "it will get better," while still acknowledging that sometimes things do get better. Hes hardly the worst kind of person.', 'Few posts here fall into that category. Its to be expected of a suicide board. If you cant deal with the reality of being powerless to help a truly Suicidal person, you shouldnt be posting here. And why would you remove anonymity when the primary reason people post on here instead of calling a hotline is so they can be safe from the cops?', '> And then one day I picked up a camera. I havent made any money off it yet, but it is the one thing that gives me a reason to carry on. I want to escape from my life. I still cant stand my own skin, but as long as I can take a few pictures today, Im happy.I was looking into canceling a preorder I have pending for a camera and buying a tank of Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas to do myself in with not a minute ago. Logged onto reddit and saw this. Eerie.', 'It does pay out if youve had your policy over 2 years.', '"Hey faggot, go start a revolution?" How is that supposed to help anyone? The whole irony of the Suicidal mindset is the willingness to pay the ultimate price for nothing at all.', 'Thats pretty standard, really. I dont know about your friend and dont mean to belittle your friendship, but an outpouring of sympathy after a death doesnt necessarily mean people knew much about the deceased or had any real concern for them while they were alive. Or perhaps they did but it was too long ago. People for the most part are quite blind to others, and communal grieving is a powerful, cathartic thing that mostly exists for its own sake. To someone Suicidal who really feels friendless, the thought of old acquaintances taking real notice of them is often part of the appeal. In their minds theyre more useful dead than alive.', 'The suicide rate is not low. Dont forget its 12 of every 100K *per year*. Thats a Tired narrow timeframe. People have a lifetime in which to commit.Heres a rough attempt at a clearer estimate for the US. The suicide rate now is about 35K a year. The average person who suicides is in his/her early 40s and so was born at a time there were about 3.5 million births a year. That would put the suicide rate at about 1% over a lifetime. Even with the present 4.1 million a year birth rate, its 0.85%.Thats far too many suicides, and certainly many more deeply unhappy people who make it to the end. Its epidemical.', '> I fell in love with a beautiful person, someone who was there for me and wanted to walk with me through all the difficult times.Im amazed a Depression person can actually find a romantic partner who tolerates and helps. I have a couple online friends I can confess to, but maybe not enough to really get me out of myself. I get the sense that people generally only want to see me happy or dead, and that Im insufferable otherwise.I may be mistaken but remember reading that one of the big dating sites, that makes you take a personality test, does not offer matches for anyone who scores too high on depression. That Depression people have to go it alone and heal themselves before love is even possible. Probably true for most.

Ideation

Im interested, since youve pretty much described my life. Im a guy, so not so many men willing to have sex with me, but the emptiness/friends of obligation is Tired familiar. Id Tired much like to hear more of your story.', 'The apathy, too. Only reason I didnt kill myself tonight is because I procrastinated until I thought I might be discovered.

Behavior

No need for thanks it just makes me happy that it maybe helped someone else.', 'I would never wish muchless wish someone to take my burdens. I just wanted you to know you arent alone', 'Im twenty three years old and my body (as told by doctors) is that of a sixty year olds within due to an accident I was in. I was hit by a truck when I was eleven and Ive been battling Depression since. My nana the one and only person in my world that understood died Oct 1st 2002 and I was hit on Apr 15th 2003 when my birthday was on May 28th. It sucked massively and since that age I was homeschooled but I had to teach myself. No teachers. No friends. No nothing.. my mom had taken to hitting me a lot and really breaking me down physically, emotionally, and everything the year my Nana got Illness and we were taking care of her and that was when I was 9. My bio father has been in and out of my life and Ive been Illness since I was two years old. My dad didnt want me cause I was a Illness kid and have done nothing but get worse. Ive been raped and many other things I cant go to college due to seizures and I cant do what my heart desires.. Im so sorry for your Pain but you are NOT alone in it, yes its all different to everyone but the common is that we understand.I know it seems your life is hopeless and isnt going anywhere. I know youre ignored and not heard but I hear you and I feel you. As much as it would be freeing what happens when right before you hit it blinks in your mind STOP.. Ive downed a bottle of pills before, i used to cut, used to choke myself but never could finish it no matter how bad I wanted to no matter how badly I needed to because at the end right before blanking out my brain would scream stop. Music helps, art helps, writing helps, just you gotta find your release and until then talk to me message me. Tell me how you feel and Ill listen Im right here. Ill hear you..

Attempt

Live for others you say?', 'My trigger. Well, I cant drink alcohol. I know it, but then, I have so much fun then I want to drown. I drink little now, but I drank today, when Ive had an issue. How can you not drink, when its your culture, when the reality is youre outside if you dont?', 'my whole life is a semi-stage of Depression mixed with periods of good times. at the moment i want to neck myself but my commitments in life prevent me from doing so. i continually say ill get past this point and then it wont matter, then some fuckhead mate has a wedding, or a family member has an important event and i defer. fuck the world.', 'for some reason, people like different shit, its good in that way.', 'Does one truly beat depression? Ive gone a fair while without a major depressive stint but still get some massive blue days.', 'One day I hope to get to NY, until then I will hold on for that hug.', 'Works for some people, doesnt work for others. Ive always played sport, exercising at least three times a Asthenia and some of my biggest lows have been after a session. ', 'dog is real though.', 'Yeah theyre the best', 'Ive never had anyone. ', 'http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154323/a-beautiful-sadness', 'i went and got really drunk and told some people at work a few days later where i was then told to go see a doctor who put me on Lexapro which got me seriously high for a few days.', 'i got totally fucked up one night, had sex with this girl, she was fucking amazing, i almost missed my flight home, wasnt sure how the fuck it all happend, got her number some how and then proceeded to text. there was no proof to anyone this chick existed or myself besides being that fucked up that in my mind i had sex with her, she came to visit me from 3500ks away, if she hadnt got off that plane, i would not have typed this.', 'got my first when i was 31. lasted 8 months maybe. then got a second, which lasted maybe the same. both of these birds some how accepted me for who i am, i dont know how, i honestly dont and it kills me trying to think that maybe there is another bird out there for me.ive figured that once chicks reach their late 20s theyre looking to build a nest, find women that are in that age range, late 20s-early 30s that are single and need to build a nest. ', 'Woody Allen movies are actually a reason not to live. ', 'Its hard to say really, being in debt has been a slight issue, loss of close friends, the lack of socialising and standing still in my job. ', 'I disagree/agree with some of distroid advice. Medication is fucked but it helps, consult a learned person if it isnt working. Dont take up bowling it is shit. Take responsibility for your life, dont make excuses. You can control certain aspects in your life, the things you cannot control, do not worry or depress about. Because you feel shit, it isnt bad, feel that shit, understand it, question it. Listen to shit self help tapes, while they are shit, they give you something to think about, they also help with asking yourself questions. Dont give up.', 'you saved yourself.', 'I was on 375mg. Worst shit ever, felt like a drug addict coming off, guess I was. Took about three months after getting off for the withdrawal symptoms to go away. When I first started using it went away for a weekend and forgot my meds, almost didnt get let on the plane home. ', 'your friends never get over it. one of my best mates, who i lived with at the time, killed himself while i was overseas, our other housemate, who is also a great friend found him hanging in his room. you dont get over that.', 'you can be isolated in a crowd. surrounding yourself with people who you feel are like rats or stink or just give you that feeling, that whatever you do, you cant fucking escape and you try and claw at the surface and youre stuck, youre stuck in this stench of life and misery and these roaches, they just swarm all over you and all you can do is breath in this stale fucking air, used by these parasites that you will never be able to shed. ', 'motion picture sound track kills me', 'my mother died from motor neuron disease, shit was real. she couldnt speak and would write stuff like, dont you love me? fucking killed me. i dont know how it relates, but it fucking sucks, whole family was fucked up for a serious amount of time, watching your mum die over a couple of years gave me serious mares.', 'I thought Id found someone but she rejected me once she became aware that I was Depression. Sympathy sex was okay. ', 'i was in the same boat bud, still am to a degree. the only contact i had with girls was drunken intercourse, late 20s it started to change, girls want to settle down in their late 20s, theyll settle for guys like us real easy if you show em you care.', 'its called livejournal.', 'its much better to text her at 3 or 4 in the morning when drunk.', 'Nice patronising.', 'all i can offer is maybe doing one thing every day that you dont want to do. stuff you procrastinate about. stuff that you think is not worth doing but then it gets you doing something.', 'youve just got to visualise it. ', 'I went through a serious bad trot, told my mates about it, they didnt really give a fuck, a year or so later, another mate of ours killed himself, I was overseas at the time, at the wake and afterwards, they were like we should take this as a warning, you know after what you went through and now Pete, we should look out for each other. Ive hardly heard from or seen these guys in the last three years, everyone disappeared.', 'most of the people i roll with wouldnt know half the shit i like, so i guess it is hard to know, ive found though the key with people who question me is to not give a fuck. ', 'seeing a way out of Depression is pretty hard, but there are generally steps to take, some work, some dont. i would just try to do one thing a day that i didnt want to, regardless of how small, it got me slowly into a better frame of mind where life stopped being chore.these days, i rarely have a dark day, though they still happen and its never likely to last more than a day. im aware of it when it happens and dont let myself get sucked in.', 'I thought it was a decent film, fucked up, but decent.', 'This is something I forget but keep trying to live by. I try to accept that I am without being, I still have far to go. Thank you for reminding me.', 'it is only when i get drunk that i really want to neck myself. i rarely drink now but when i do, most of the time i want to neck myself.', 'Id suggest not pilling out. Its not a great experience to wake up to and if you almost do the job but not quite you could be in a worse situation or leave it up to someone else to make the decision.', 'its a tough gig. i feel a bit AA about saying i havent had a rough day since last year, which seems almost as long as i can remember without feeling off. im not really sure how it all change, my financial situation isnt any better, my circle of friends hasnt Fatigue or decreased, i dont have a relationship, the only real thing that has happened is that i dont drink as much, well stuff all now and im more committed to being fit which has now turned around where i used to go for a run or do some exercise and i would experience some of the worst lows ever afterward and now i do it, i dont feel great, but i feel good. i honestly dont know how things have changed when on the outside nothing really has. all i can say is, keep to the things you like doing and the only self help tape that has done anything for me was one by steve chandler and it was really only one point it. doing something everyday, like stuff you procrastinate over about not doing. that motivated me for a short period.', 'do i need any explosions or guns firing?', 'thats pretty depressing actually.', 'yeah, the scales will be the icing.', 'im crashing out dude, will talk later.', '>What happens tomorrow, or what has happened yesterday or the day/week/month/year before, mean abso-fucking-lutely nothing.live for the moment eh. existence is futile.', 'maybe a cloud with a silver lining?', 'I got told to play video games. I dont see how the fuck that helps.', 'Things went like this, from 2007 to late 2008, work related back injury, anti-depressants, found out my mother had a terminal illness, got a small payout, move back home to be close to family and start a business with bro/sister, they didnt pay me but used my settle on the business/supporting myself, stopped taking meds, moved away, mother died same weekend, quit my next job, moved in with a good friend, doing serious credit card damage, friend kills himself, our close group of friends fall apart, couple months later, 30k in the hole and have been working ever since to get free again, of which Im still 15k from.', 'Just read the catcher in the rye a few hundred times, didnt work for me but Im still alive right? ', 'They prefer to call it Radelaide', 'What is the context? ', 'ive never had a sustained relationship, i dont think ive ever had sex when i havent been drunk or come down from a big night, while being Depression fucking sucks, like butters says, id rather experience a loss than never experience a gain or that other shitful quote it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ', 'theyll bake a cake at some stage, banana cake to exact.', 'woody allen movies are on my not to watch list, so i dont know. killing yourself would be a terrible idea. i need some tips on screen writing, help me out. i want to make a short film with holden caulfield playing a game of checkers with jane gallagher, how do you think i should approach it?', 'my opinion would be dont take any medication involving SSRIs or SNRIs, like efexor because that shit is fucking chaos to get off.', 'The hardest part is not knowing why you want to die. I had this beautiful girl on top of me today, last night I was with her as well but I was Depression as hell and told her I didnt want to be with her that night. She came around today and I still felt like necking myself, I dont know why, why the fuck would want to neck yourself when someone says they adore you? ', 'I really liked this bird, had seen her on and off for a few months, had a really bad Asthenia and was on the edge. Saw her and she took me in, sympathy sex and then shut me down the next day after dropping me at the hospital. Im still here. Good times I guess. ', 'in the pits too.

Ideation

I hope you both can read this. Reading both of these things and seeing you respond to each other is totally just crushed me. It is so sad to see other people caught in between caring so deeply for others and caring so little for themselves that it actually becomes detrimental in itself. Clearly, you both have huge hearts and you are full of emotion and it would really suck a lot if you guys werent able to share that with the world anymore. And I know you both probably arent concerned about my opinion on the matter, as you stated above, but I think you want someone to share it with you anyway, or else you would have posted in the first place. You deserve everything. All the greatness to be had in your life is for you, and you deserve it. ', 'The only thing that can make this situation as bad as you really see it is if you completely give up. You are clearly smart, and you are clearly talented, and whether or not you can pay rent in a couple months will not change that. Your family loves you because you are those things, and they will always be more proud of your accomplishments than they will be disappointed in your setbacks. Life is scary as shit. Just remember that you can do whatever you want. You just got to commit. You have put a lot of effort into school, maybe its time to see the world or something? Or move a new place? I dont know. Even when it feels like there arent any options, there definitely are.

Supportive

> I know sometimes you will have days when you literally cant bear to move... thats me every day.Please dont belittle my depression. I have had this every year since I was 16, and its awful. I was told I am also likely to have it for the rest of my life. We unfortunately both suffer a lot, so please dont act like its a competition. (Forgive me if Im misinterpreting your comment.)', '>Internet people to the rescue!:)What are you studying? I was just talking to my advisor how Im Feeling nervous about how much work and Pressure there is in grad school (but he thinks I should go), and how I want to go somewhere close to home. His response: "Dont worry about it being close to home, you wont even have time to see anyone!" ...Way to help me with that first concern.', 'Let us know how it goes/went.', 'I just searched reddit for "forever alone" because thats how I feel. Maybe sharing my story will help...?Ive been feeling really alone at college lately and have gone out just once this entire semester. I forced myself to contact someone tonight and he told me to meet him and his friends at a frat house at 11. I showered, put on makeup, got all dressed up, and headed over there. I texted my friend and got no response. I went inside, asked around, couldnt find him. There was barely anyone there and the few who were were all freshmen. I left, still hoping to get a response. I drove to the bar where a lot of people hang out, but it looked pretty deserted so I didnt go in. Theres 24 hour grocery store around the corner, so I went in and picked up milk and candy for trick-or-treaters... *Forever alone.*But guess what? Tonight, were alone together.', 'Please look at [the post I just wrote](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/csrba/just_so_you_know_that_theres_a_good_chance_that/). Like you, I was a teenage girl with a great life (supportive family, caring friends, good grades, promising future) and was still Depression and suicidal. Now Im neither Depression nor suicidal, and Im grateful every day that I didnt kill myself a few years ago when it seemed like the only option.You say your OCD and Anxiety are self-diagnosed -- have you told anyone about your problems? It was Pain and difficult for me to do that, but its necessary. Please seek help.', 'Thanks. Im going to send an email to my professors now, just letting them know that Im Illness and going to be out of class. I just dont want them to know why, but Im afraid not explaining sounds suspicious.What do you mean by "back on track"? Are you back in school? My biggest Fear is not finishing college because of this. Not finishing is really not an option for someone from my family/area/background, and I want it for myself, too. I really love learning normally. ', 'How do I keep from losing friends at work?', 'Dont listen to douchebag casperrosewater. Its perfectly normal to need your parents to help you right now. However, they might not really understand the severity of the situation or want to face it right now. Try again to see if theyll find someone, if not, you call. Its tough and the mental health system is difficult, but youll find treatment. Dont give up.', 'Yeah, always.

Ideation

Its hard online. Its just like trying to sell yourself like a product on amazon so image is way more important. I think you need to meet someone in real life, so go out a little more. Go to the gym, work on yourself. Most of us are ugly. Probably the girl you showed your picture to is ugly, she probably just had a little more good traits but shes probably still no more than average. Its Tired shallow of her. ', 'Im sorry. Were you in a band?', 'As a BPD myself, my thoughts on this are that most people in the medical field (especially non-doctors) worked for their special 2 or 4 year degree in helping people so they can feel accomplished themselves. These people are good at school, thorough, competent with positive outlooks who usually have no idea how to be truly compassionate. The ones who make it through school (most of the time with a tough time) get out and have a little more compassion or are truly just blessed with seeing the world in someone elses shoes and understanding. It\'s not often you come across medical proffesionals like this. Most of them don\'t get past the "helping people" part in their mind. When they are 18 applying for college they go in with the mindset, "I\'m a normal person so I can just help all the crazy people by just being normal around them."', 'Feeling much better today. I just hate when you never know when the Suicidal thoughts are coming. ', 'Hope it ends well at least. Youre going to regret some things, but its true, some of the Pain of life are going to fade away right before your eyes. My thoughts are whatever lies ahead is just a repeat of a repeat and that youll be born again, and if thats true I hope you decide to stay longer next time. ', 'What a bummer. I really cant imagine your life. Is there anything youve ever thought of that would improve your quality of life? Something you never tried?', 'I cant say a lot of people can even imagine the Pain you are going through right now. There are still somethings I could suggest you might enjoy, like music, meditation and reading. Thats what I enjoy. I go to a course in miracles sometimes. They are really a loving group if you can find one around your area and attend. However, I also have Influenza-like Illness and can shit in a toilet on my own. To be honest, you make me feel so lucky as selfish as that sounds. Ive been so Depression lately and you make me feel like a ridiculous spoiled child. I dont know if telling you committing suicide is a bad or good idea because Im pretty Suicidal myself. A lot of people are, a lot of healthy people who have everything going for them, they end their lives everyday. So where does that leave you? I dont know. I dont know your situation enough and who is there rooting for you everyday besides the care giver, loving you and making sure you have what you need. Just continue to be as strong as you are, because its true youre much stronger than most to endure what you have to. And when times get tough, accept death is really just around the corner for all of us, so why not try and make the most of what you have left?', 'My mom tried to commit suicide twice in two years. Overdoses sent her right to the ER. Both times I thought she was dead, but the second time I really thought that. She had a stroke, couldnt talk or move, tubes down her throat, glazed over eyes, Watery eye Bloating symptom white skin, and pretty much brain dead, but somehow she snapped out of it and we somehow forgave her again. It was almost like someone out there gave her a second chance. The doctors said it was just another miracle. My sister also went to college for therapy because she wanted to understand more of my moms bipolar constantly being in and out of the mental wards all of our lives, but she eventually got Tired of it, switched to writing major and just got her associates. You cant live for your mom. You just cant. Youre too young and shes taking your life away and she really doesnt want that for you, she just doesnt know what else to do. Take care of her but remember you have your own life. Remind her of all the accomplishments shes made. A 600k house? A bmw? her own business? Those are HUGE feats barely anyone these days can accomplish, whether she lost it all or not. Remind her how proud you are of her and the great things she has done. I dont mean to say I had it worse but my mom was collecting Disability and a professional drug and alcohol addict almost all her life. They say, true freedom is getting everything youve ever wanted and then losing it. If thats true, remind her shes free of the burdens that the business and her divorce could have caused her. She can make a new dream and start all over now and if she can get back to dreaming and working towards those dreams, she might just take off after them again and feel better. ', 'Must have been nice. You cant play at all now? If you dont mind me asking how did this happen?', 'Dont let the rapists take control of what you need to do to fight them. They might send around the video anyway if you tell the cops or not, but the longer you wait the less the cops can do and the more scared and harder it will be. Please dont be ashamed. Someone needs to be punished here so do not let it go. Go to a trust-able person and work with the cops on what to do next.

Ideation

Try and get her to seek a therapist.They will help her.

Supportive

Thank you so much for the advice. The only real problem I guess I have now is that I told my Dad that my Suicidal thoughts and tendencies had gone away and now I need to have my parents get me to a therapist. Dont want to seem like a liar again...', 'So heres why I want to do it:Ive been Suicidal since I was in second grade because it (being Suicidal) runs in my family. I started really thinking deeply about it in fourth grade but nothing ever happened. Last year was easily my worst year and my best year all wrapped up in a big ball of deadly emotions. It was my best year because I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I was Suicidal. It was my worst year because I tried to kill myself three times that same year. After talking to my parents I felt this wave of happiness and clarity that made me feel like I really did belong here. Lately, however, the feeling are coming back and theyre stronger than theyve ever been before (other than the times that I really tried to kill myself.) I try to make people laugh everyday because it makes me feel like even if Im doomed to a life a despair and Feeling unhappy if I could bring a smile to someone else face I could at least feel like Im benefiting somehow. Recently I feel like an empty shell of my former self. I feel like no matter how hard I try to stay happy, the world keeps shooting me back down to reality. But reality sucks...Just recently I moved from a school where I knew almost everyone and could have easily made friends with anyone I wanted. Everyone in my grade respected me, anybody else looking at my life from the outside would think that my life was great. That I had no pain, no suffering constantly going through my head, but they were wrong. I cried myself to sleep almost everyday last year and decided that I couldnt go on living this way anymore. I wanted to move in with my Dad and start school over there. I felt like a fresh start was something that would clear up my entire life and allow me to live Stress free. I was wrong, nobody knows me for who I really am. Im living a fake life in a fake shell of who I really am and it sucks. I cant move back because then my grades would drop again, but if I stay here any longer I feel like everyday Im getting closer and closer to my fourth attempt at suicide. I could go on for a while about the reasons I want to end my life because theyve been building up since I was in fourth grade, however Im 15 and have school tomorrow so I cant tell my full story just yet. Anyways, theres an extremely rough outline of my story up until now... thanks for caring...', 'Thank you for doing so, Ill add this to the arsenal, the fight carries on...', 'Well the way I try to think about it is that there wouldnt be good people without assholes. Without assholes good people would just be people, and without good people assholes would also simply be known as people. I take solace in knowing that at the end of the day everything adds up to zero. Meaning that for every asshole out there, there is someone whos as much of a good person as they are an asshole. For every negative person, theres a positive person of equal value...', 'I did have a therapist for a couple of year but it didnt really seem to help the problem.', 'Thank you so much for the advice, Im sorry for your losses. I guess one of my problems is that, in my journey of a thousand miles, every time I take a step forward I seem to take two steps back. I see everyone else around me practically sprinting to the finish and I still have yet to cross the starting line...', 'Sure, what exactly is the topic? PM me if needed.', 'Yeah Im a drummer, helps me when Im Stress out. Also a nice form of exercise... ', 'Will do, lets hope this works. Kind of out of options...', 'I really just want to know how be happy again.', 'True, even if most days it doesnt feel like it, we always take SOMETHING away from everything that happens to us...', 'Aannnnnnnd I failed... again. Apparently pills just cause stomach Muscle cramp and Common cold chills...', 'Maybe on the outside...', 'I dont know, I feel like Im doing everything right and then the world punishes me for trying...', 'Greetings other other me.', 'As someone who thinks about suicide on a daily basis, a really helpful personal philosophy for me is that were all going to die eventually so why bother rushing it? If anything, this time we have right now should be spent showing life that were not its bitch, no matter how much it throws in our way.', 'I can kind of relate to the school thing. I switched schools as a form of suicide/rebirth. I wanted to start a new life as a new me, but now Im stuck in an even worse spot than I was in before...', 'Student...', 'Knowing me Id spend all the money on lithium. I need more lithium in me than the energizer bunny could ever dream about...', 'Sorry if this is unrelated, but may I ask how you got over your depression? I feel like Ive tried everything...', 'Anything that people will remember me for after Im gone. Ive done some things in my life that younger me never thought I would have accomplished, but none of it keeps the memory of me alive for Tired long. Im a musical prodigy (according to others) but that doesnt really get me anywhere I want to be. I cant make a career out of that to allow the memory of me to continue on...

Attempt

To update you guys friend called police in me got send to hospital. Im home now some one want to talk?', '15 here pm me please. Had a relationship that went south after she moved to England ', 'They use it as a threat to keep you alive. Im Im the same boat as you with my girlfriend I tell her and they threaten to call the police. It keeps you alive thats all I can say.', 'Exact same position as you. Gf cheated when she moved to England. Im 15 got Skype? Pm me! Also attempt suicide last Thursday', 'Remove that message of your number should have pmd it. You dont want bad people harassing you because trolls do pass through here.', 'Pm me your number or Skype or email or something!!!! I want someone to talk to too :) Im 15', 'Im trying to hold on dude tomorrow might be it', 'I tried before it didnt scare me away. I reattempted and again after that. Crying a lot right now.', 'If you know its Psychotic disorder than you know it isnt true.', 'Not my first love :) but thanks for trying to help. No just get home a sleep in the bathroom because I cant stand my family. And no with her I cant stand anyone l. I shut the lights and lay there to pretend Im dead its a lot simpler to just do it :', 'Same position as you and I would love to talk :)', 'Pm me again ', 'Im 15 wanna talk pm me ur number or Skype or something. I cut and have attempted suicide ', 'Dont give me that its just the constant let down of people around me to the point where Im done.I failed the first time in killing myself I wont fail again.', 'I have stuff I like doing and its fun and all but underneath Im dying inside so its not enjoyable and the meds arent working Im hopeless.', 'If you like rap the amazing lyricist who has passed now, Capital STEEZ was obsessed with the number 47. A great inspiration and a schizophrenic. All of his songs relate to it and sadly killed himself on 12/23/2012 which adds to 2047. Really interesting guy.', 'Still need Skype friend?', 'But that isnt how the system works, as much as you would like to believe that people who need help get help. In reality unless they can see it 100% you arent getting shit, especially with schizophrenia. If you know you need help but its all in your head you need to express to the less known that its a real problems so an act of someSort might be necessary. It isnt disgusting, the world isnt perfect. ', 'Dude you got Skype. Im in the same position as you. I build computers too. :) Edit: tried to end it last Thursday Im always free to talk. Life is worth it

Attempt

So your place could use a cleaning, I dont think that makes you evil. The good thing is that you acknowledge your feelings, again we cant control the way we think.', 'Im sorry that youre going through all that. But Id have to disagree when you say that you are selfish. You clearly care about your mom, and want dont want to make her life difficult. Killing yourself will not do that. You talk about missing chances and opportunities, but thats the great thing about life, there will always be more. Hang in there, I know you can do it. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Please reconsider, lets talk about this. Why do you want to die?', 'No problem, happy to do it. Yeah, studying can get a little overwhelming especially with your family bugging you. Stick with it man.', 'Its hard to show Feeling unhappy in front of the ones we care about. Its good that youre all there for each other. You and youre brother might both do better if you acknowledged your Feeling unhappy and leaned on each other. Just be happy is the worst kind of advice, from people who dont understand. Im sorry I have to go now, can I talk to you tomorrow?', 'I know youve heard it gets better before, but it bears repeating. I know its hard to meet new people, but if you keep at it eventually youll actually find some worth meeting. If you feel like talking to other people who might have similar problems might I suggest /r/introvert? Keep your chin up, and feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.', 'Im sorry that youve had to go through all that you have, but from what Im reading here I see a strong young man with a lot of potential. Working and school are tough enough, but finding the time to regularly work out and hold your family together? Props to you man. And when did it become pretentious to read? Fuck whoever told you that. Youre clearly a strong, smart man. I think you can fight your dark side, and overcome your problems to go on and do great things. Stay strong, I believe in you.', 'It sounds like you have a lot of energy and passion, but because of that you can sometimes make bad decisions. Its completely natural to do stupid things in hopes of love, but you need to remember that your health and wellness come first. By no means are you a monster.', 'You can believe that if you want. But trust me, theres no way anybody who has gone through what you have isnt.', 'If it matters to you, it matters. And the way you feel matters to me as well. It might not be my place to ask but have you two considered a marriage counselor? And are you seeing a therapist? A good one can make all the difference in the world. ', 'To include your therapist. Please at least talk to him before you consider doing anything Injury of muscle.', 'Im sorry I think Im missing the point.', 'Theres no need to apologize. Your expressing the emotions of a clearly caring and intelligent mind. It would be impossible to put that into a couple short sentences. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not please consider it, they might make all the difference in the world helping your transition. Youre right school can be tough, and people can be assholes. But you know what fuck them. It might seem like a long time now but in a couple of years youll never have to see any of them again. It sounds like you get a lot of Stress about your weight, if you are interested in getting in shape might I recommend /r/fitness? But dont worry what other people think of it, if they dont like it, again fuck them. Stay strong man.', 'I would really recommend making it clear to someone close, what you are going through. This doesnt have to be something you do alone. And you say that youre tired, that youve been trying for a long time. That means youve come a long way, and that means you are strong.', 'What makes you say you have an evil soul?', 'That sucks, do you have a court date set up? Do you have anything in mind that you would like to try for? It doesnt sound like youve had Tired good counselors, thats a terrible argument and how is it supposed to make you feel better? Just because a sprained ankle isnt broken, doesnt mean it doesnt Pain. At best that would only make you feel guilty. I would urge you to keep looking for a counselor that works well with you.I know its hard not to compare yourself to others but, it really wont help. No matter how well anyone does in life, there will always be someone doing better at certain aspects. Try to focus on what you need, and where you want to be. ', 'They stand by you because they care about you. And so do I. Stay tough, I know you can do it.', 'You just need to keep looking. There are groups everywhere trying to help people. You clearly want to help people and thats a good thing.', 'Thats tough. Im sorry that youre going through all of this. Thats terrible that your family treated you like that, but please dont let that stop you from accepting compliments and knowing youre a great person. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Hang in there, there are people who care. If you need to vent some more, Ill be here.', 'Please dont be so hard on yourself, holding grudges is something we all do. Some people just hide it better than others. Are there other options? You might not be quite where you want academically, but it seems to me like youve come a lot farther than many, many other people. And you should be proud of that.Dont count your break ups before they hatch. There might still be time to patch things up with this girl, dont make decisions you cant take back over something that hasnt happened yet. Youre a bright talented individual, dont let anyone tell you different. ', 'Im sorry youre going through all of that. But you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Stay strong, I believe in you. There are people who care.', 'Im sorry Im confused. Whats all ending?', 'Being out of our comfort zone is well uncomfortable, you shouldnt have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Why are things going badly at home?', 'It might seem like a really long time, but compare that to the permanence of death. Even if it takes a long time to get to the light at the end of the tunnel, isnt that better than nothing? I seriously urge you to have an honest discussion with your parents, make it clear that you need help. Theres a whole world out there waiting for you, and its full of people who care.', 'Im sorry you have to worry about your mother as well as yourself. But do you think its better to withdraw, or to try and work on your relationships? Good luck, stay strong I know you can.', 'You cant blame yourself for panic attacks. Its not like you decided you wanted to have them. Thats good that youre willing to give it a try. Let me know how it goes! Hang in there, I know you can do it.', 'Please? I know you can do it. For your kids. I know its not much, but Im here and I care.', 'Im sorry you are going through such a rough patch right now. Are you seeing a therapist to help you with this? Hang in there, I know you can do it. There are people who care.', 'Please, please reconsider this. Im sorry that things are hard right now, but youve seen that it can get better. There are going to be ups and downs in life. But without the downs how could we appreciate the ups? You were strong enough to come back from the edge before. I believe in you, and know you can do it again. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Be physically close to her. If you really are worried, dont leave her on her own. But more importantly talk to her about it. Good luck, I hope your sister is ok.', 'That is a tricky one. You can do something about it, it just takes energy and drive. I believe you can do it. ', 'That must suck, Im sorry to hear that youre going through that. Its good that you recognize cutting for what it is and are fighting the urges. Is there anything specific that brings on these feelings? Stay strong, I know you can get through this.', 'Jesus man youve clearly had a hell of a time. Im sorry to hear about everything youve gone through. However you shouldnt feel like the guy you were describing is better than you in any way. Youre staying true to yourself in the face of adversity and that takes guts. I guess the only advice I have is to keep seeking out people who will be supportive of you. There are people who arent going to judge you and like you just the way you are. Also maybe try running, the sense of accomplishment and endorphins always make me feel good, plus it might help you get to a weight you want to be at. Good luck, and hang in there.', 'Im sorry things are so hard right now. But believe me, there is no way to quietly disappear from peoples lives, the only way to ensure theyre not traumatized is to stay with them. Dont Stress about being "normal" we cant control the thoughts we have, only how we react to them. Youre clearly a good, caring person, youre loved ones are lucky to have you. Ill be here if you want to talk. ', 'Hey, that sounds hard. But there is always hope. Have you sat down with your mom and gone over how you feel, and what you are upset about in a clear, organized manner? Stay strong, I know you can do it, there are people who care.', 'Dont worry about the downvotes, messed up people like to troll here. By no means is your situation hopeless, and no one wants you to kill yourself. Its good that you are so actively seeking treatment. Im sorry you havent found one that works yet, but the only way to find one is to keep trying. Youre obviously an intelligent, driven individual. Im sure you can do it.', 'Thats tough. But you need to learn from your grandpa and not make the same mistakes. I believe you can get better. Glad your side is ok.', 'Thats hard man. Its always difficult to be the one people depend on. But you have no reason to be disappointed in yourself. Your clearly a good person who is willing to put the needs of his family over your own Pain. Have you talked to a therapist? Take care of yourself, Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'You are not useless. No matter what anyone one says, you are a good, strong, caring person. Even if you dont believe it.', 'Thats good to hear! Are you feeling any better about it?', 'Im sorry, that sounds hard. No one is worthless, you are not taking up space that someone else can use. You are unique. Are you seeing a therapist? Stay strong, there are people who care.', 'Man thats shitty, but hopefully youll be able to get it expunged.Its hard to find a good counselor, but it can really pay off. In the meantime Im no therapist, but if you just want to vent Ill be here.Mechanics is a useful skill. Thats rough about the call backs, but Im sure youll do well.', 'Anytime, happy to do it. Youre right, it is hard not to think about all the bad things that happen in the world. But just because there are people who have it worse doesnt mean you cant feel bad about your own problems. It must have taken a lot of strength to get off drugs. Hang in there man, were all pulling for you. ', 'Thats good that you have that loyalty. Its understandable that its difficult to return to normal after an incident like that, but you have to work at it. I know you can do it. Are you taking any bipolar medication? You seem like a good person, going through a rough time. Hang in there, I believe in you.', 'No one can understand exactly what youre feeling, but a twin is the closest possible thing. Please listen to your brother so you can stay in his life. Youre right things dont magically just change, but they can get better over time. ', 'Youre clearly Tired strong. Youve come this far, I believe you can keep going. Thats good that youve got a therapist. Especially one that you like. What does your husband say when you tell him how you feel?', 'Hey there, sorry to hear about what youve had to go through. First of all, please consider seeing a doctor. If youve been Illness for a Asthenia you should strongly consider getting medical attention. Also have you considered talking to these people that you feel you have let down? This negative perception could all be in your head. Also sometimes it just feels better to get everything out in the open. Stay strong, I know you can do it. ', 'Hi! Sorry that youre going through all this. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Hang in there, Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Look at what you just said. Youre able to work, take care of your kids, and work on your marriage, all while you are struggling with this. If you dont call that strong, Id hate to see what you called me. The Exhaustion can be bad, but think of your kids. I know you can pull through.', 'No problem, anytime.', 'Wouldnt you rather have help for your Pain, and risk losing your gun?', 'Youve probably heard this first part before, so sorry about that but here it goes. Are you seeing a therapist? If you arent you really should consider it. Youve clearly got a Tired good mind, even if youre being a little hard on yourself. It sounds like most of the advice people have been giving you is all some form of self change. I disagree with that. I would suggest that you work on being comfortable with yourself. Youre clearly well spoken and Sharp Pain minded. I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned your ability to make humorous sarcastic statements. Why dont you concentrate on doing that around others if youre uncomfortable? People love a good dry sense of humor. It also sounds like you feel listless and need something to keep you grounded. Your clearly well read and eloquent. Have you tried writing? ', 'That has to be hard. I know people who struggle with Anxiety as well as Depression. Is your side ok?', 'How do you know theyll take your gun away?', 'Im sorry to hear about that. Please dont let how bad things are right now cause you to make a decision you cant take back. Eventually things will get better. Are you seeing a therapist? Hang in there, there are people who care.', 'Im sorry that youre going through this. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Stay strong there are people that care about you. ', 'First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Its perfectly natural to feel upset and betrayed when your friend starts ignoring you. But your right man girls can be tricky, everyone gets a little awkward around them now and again. Dont hate yourself at all, but especially not because of how you feel, or how youve tried to express it. You cant keep feeling guilty about what you did in the past. Eventually we move on and meet new people. We keep up with the ones we care about, and the ones who dont keep up with us arent worth caring about.', 'No one lives up to their full potential, its just something that happens in an imperfect world. But that doesnt mean we shouldnt keep trying. Its good that you have plans and dreams. Youre clearly Tired intelligent and talented, Im sure you can achieve them.', 'I am by no means a financial expert but Im sure you can get some advice over at r/personalfinance. Its always worth it to continue struggling. It sounds kind of goofy but theres nothing like the pride that comes from knowing that you gave it your fucking best, left it all on the field and earned what you have. Its easy to feel like youre all alone in the world but just remember there are people out there who care about you.', 'If its not too much to ask, do you mind explaining what happened with him? And although it might not seem like much there are people here who are neither uncaring or cold, who care about what happens to you. ', 'What do you mean trouble?', 'I believe in you, I think you can.', 'Feeling directionless is never fun. Sometimes its hard to find something inspiring, or something to be passionate about. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Also I dont buy the whole "right to feel bad" argument which you referenced. We all have our own capacity for Feeling unhappy, which will effect us in a completely unique way. Regardless of whether or not weve "earned it" in the eyes of others. You have no reason to feel bad about feeling bad. ', 'Im sure youve heard it a million times, but let me say it too. Im so sorry for what happened to you and your family. It sounds like you get a lot of Stress from worrying that you wont be able to live a "normal" life. But you also mention that there are distractions, even if they are only temporary. What if you focused more on those types of activities? Maybe then if you are involved in something you enjoy, you will meet people who share common interests and make social interaction easier. RyanBDawg is right, support groups could be Tired useful to you. And if that is too difficult there will always be people here who care. ', 'Please stop and reconsider. You sound like a Tired smart person with a lot of potential. You mentioned that there were several points in your life when you picked up the pieces and started doing well for yourself. I know its hard but you can do it again. Fuck your friends, dont let the actions of shitty people convince you to take your life. Your better than them, and the best revenge is to live well. In the meantime please consider talking to a professional about this.', 'She sounds like a good woman. What wouldnt be fair would be to make a decision you cant take back, without her ever knowing about how you feel. Hang in there, I know you can do it.', 'Hey, Im sorry that youre going through all of this. Why would you say you dont deserve anything? Your worry about the people who care about you shows that you are a good caring person. Stay strong, I believe in you. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Yeah that can be hard. But 4 days is a lot of time, Im sure you can do it. Just remember to take breaks and not let it overwhelm you.', 'Please reconsider talking to them. What if they can help you? This isnt something you should have to go through alone.', 'It sounds like youve had a hard time. I hope things pick up for you soon. Are you currently talking to a counselor about these feelings? Stay strong, I believe you can pull yourself through this.', 'No mind is beyond repair. Im sure you can get through this.', 'Youre clearly a good, caring person. But please dont let your feelings for your girlfriend cause you to do something drastic. There are always temptations in life, we just need to be strong. I believe in you, I know you can do it.', 'Seriously wifi in a graveyard? How many bars? Honestly though its good that you acknowledge doubt. If for no other reason just keep going because why not? I believe that its still Tired possible for you to have that kind of life. Dont ever feel bad for the way that you feel. You cant change your emotions, only how you respond to them. But were here to help. ', 'Why would it be naive to think life can get better? I believe you can get through this. Are you seeing a therapist? Things may look dark and be hard right now, but no one is destined to be unhappy forever. Hang in there, were all pulling for you.', 'The important thing is that youre still hanging on. I know it seems like a long time now but soon youll be an adult and can make your own decisions. In the mean time keep reaching out to get the help you need in whatever way you can. There are people out there who care. ', 'Please at least wait until you can talk to him first. Do you have the number to his office? ', 'Im sorry to hear how hard things have been for you. Life can get pretty overwhelming sometimes, but I believe you can handle it. Why dont you try making a list of what you have to do, and just work your way through that? Maybe that will help you to feel less overwhelmed. As to how to tell an interviewer youre on probation I would recommend starting with that information. If you have to tell them anyway, you might as well be upfront about it, so you can explain yourself. Hang in there, you sound like a Tired strong person. I believe you can get through this.', 'Even if it just helped you organize your thoughts, you wouldnt have written this for nothing. The inevitability of death can frighten us all. But that doesnt mean we shouldnt do what we can, with the time we have.YOU are awesome. Stay strong, Im pulling for you.', 'That must be hard. But why do you think youre a failure? No one can succeed at everything all of the time. Depressions tough, but I hang in there I know you can.', 'It might sound stupid, but why do you keep watching the movie?', 'Im sorry to hear how hard things have been for you. Its perfectly natural to feel trapped when so many things have gone wrong, but does not mean that life can not get better. Are you sure youve been charged with anything? Thats usually something they make sure isnt ambiguous. Can you transfer any credits from your previous school experiences to a new one? Also are you currently seeing a counselor? Your 20s are not over, they have only just begun. Dont judge yourself by what your friends are doing, you need to focus on whats best for you. You seem like a tough, strong, driven individual. Hang in there, I know you can do it.', 'Im sorry that youre family is being hard on you. But you need to make your feelings clear to them, so they can help you.You dont have to do anything you dont want to, but I would recommend talking to a school psychologist. They want to help you, thats what theyre there for.You dont need a person to tell you whats wrong and whats right. Youre clearly a good, giving person. Lean on your friends a little, friendship is a two way street. But either way if youre doing things that make you uncomfortable, simply stop doing them. Stay strong, there are people out there who care.', 'Im so sorry that you have to go through this. But take the Pain you feel right now, and imagine if your family had to feel it again for you. Except worse because you were cut down in your prime. If for no other reason stay for them. I believe you can do it.', 'You can do it. I believe in you. There are people here who care.', 'Anytime', 'First of all the amount you clearly care about your loved ones is amazing. I would urge you to talk with them about how you feel. Im sure they want to help you. Suicidal urges are hard to fight especially on your own. Please reconsider and get the help you need, this isnt a burden you have to carry alone. ', 'Hey there. Im sorry to hear about whats been happening to you. Youre clearly a caring individual with love for your daughter. If you dont have anything else to keep fighting for, fight for her. She needs a parent, and it sounds like your fiancee is in no condition to be there for her. Breaking bad is a good show, Im sorry it invokes Pain memories though. Do you just watch that, or do you enjoy dramas in general? Stay strong, there are people who care. Ill be here if you want to talk. ', 'Ok, sleep well. Please take care of yourself.', 'Yeah Im really bad about studying as well. Youre right it definitely helps when theres someone to keep you on task.', 'I think it has to do with only thinking from their perspective. From their point of view it would be selfish of you to take yourself away from them forever. They dont understand how you feel, and thats why they think that its you who is being selfish. However they are right, it is a Injury of muscle action. As you can attest things can get better, and you can come back from the brink, but not if you go through with suicide.', 'Its completely understandable to have difficulty talking about your emotions, especially with your family. That being said please, please be honest with them. The support of a family is invaluable. And trust me, little hints are not going to do the trick, even if they are picking up on them its quite possible they are unsure and dont want to make you feel uncomfortable. Talk with them, be straightforward, and most importantly find a good therapist.', 'I think its better to keep fighting, and I believe you can do it. Are you seeing a doctor about your Pain?', 'Thats shitty. You shouldnt be judged by the actions of others. Keep your chin up, there are people who care. In the mean time you can vent to me.', 'Have you looked into some sort of government assistance? Depending on where you live, that could be an option.', 'You cant let fears of a hypothetical future affect your decisions in the present. It sounds like your Tired aware of possible problems with alcohol. Please dont start drinking to deal with bad thoughts if you know that it will end badly. May I ask why youre unwilling to seek help? If youre uncomfortable with a 1 on 1 therapy session there are many support groups out there.', 'Bro hug for being a fellow, shy accident child, interested in science, but still not great at math. Cant say that I have your talent in music though. Im sorry that your dad treated you so shitty. But please dont let that color your view of your friends. Dont worry about what you "deserve" to feel. Your emotions are your own. Hang in there man, youre clearly a smart, intelligent man. I believe you can pull through this. There are people out there who care. ', 'Haha I like you too. How are things going now?', 'You absolutely do not sound like a weirdo. How could the desire to be understood sound ridiculous? It sounds like you have a perfectly normal desire, but its hard to express it in a standard way.', 'Its tempting to view suicide as a release. But we have no way of knowing what happens after death. Most likely we just stop and theirs nothing. I dont know what you believe, but isnt the potential for good in your life better than just nothing?', 'Please dont do it. There are an infinite number of other options left for you. Does your dad know you feel this way? Maybe hed lay off if you told him. Either way dont let him get you down too much. Youre not a disappointment, and youre not a waste of anything. Youre clearly an intelligent, talented individual. I believe you can get through this, Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'That must feel awful to have your best friend turn on you, Im sorry you had to go through that. But please dont let that Pain make you take your own life. Im sorry to have to disagree with you but there is always hope, and there are people who care about you. Im sure you know many but at the Tired least, I care about you and so does everyone here. Feel free to PM if you want to talk about your friend or anything else.', 'Cant or dont?', 'A noble thought. Have you considered finding a way to channel it into helping your community? ', 'Good luck! Let us know how it goes. Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'You dont have to give up. You can do it, I know you can. Please stay with us, well help you through this.', 'Do you mind if I ask why youve purposefully estranged yourself? Good luck with surgery. Dont give up on humanity just yet, people might be have some bad qualities, but that doesnt make them evil. Hang in there I know you can.', 'Be careful, dont do anything rash. Im sorry I have to go now. Can I talk to you tomorrow?', 'Please consider trying again, its hard to find a therapist that you like. But the difference between one you like and one whos just ok can make all the difference in the world. Stay strong, were all pulling for you.', 'Please dont do it. Youre family would not be better off in the long run, or the short run. Stay for your kids, they need their mom. Stay strong, youve come this far, I believe you can do it.', 'Thats a shame. The fading in and out can be tough. But at least there are ups to go along with the downs. Anything in particular thats making it worse?', 'You dont have to fight alone. There are people who care. It might not seem like much, but the people on here want to help you. Stick with it, Ill be here if you want to talk.', 'In my experience people who are overly self-critical are usually much better people then they are willing to give themselves credit for. The flip side of this is that they can be unnecessarily hard on themselves. Theres a difference between being realistic about your life and goals, and being overly self-critical. I believe youve got the drive and talent to be the person you want to be, without being so hard on yourself.', 'Its entirely possible for you to get all the friends and girls you want. It just takes some time. I know its hard but you just need to keep picking yourself up. You can do it, I believe in you.', 'Short answer, no. The only way to keep your family from having to go through that is to keep on living. Why would you think youll be alone forever? You seem like a genuine, caring, intelligent person. Youre clearly in a lot of Pain, but please dont let the actions of this other person make you take your own life. Do you mind me asking what happened there? Also it might not seem like a lot, but youre not alone now. I care about you and so does everyone here.', 'If she says she forgives you, then trust her in that. Dont look for a problem that might not be there. Dont be ashamed, this is clearly a complicated and confusing time for you. You just need to find out for yourself what the answer is. You can do it, I believe in you.', 'Congratulations for getting off drugs. Im not going to argue that many people try to avoid thinking, and there are problems in the world. But there is good as well, and there are people who think and want to help. If were all just waiting to die, whats the rush? Enjoy your distractions, while you can. Enjoy your girlfriend, and enjoy your music. Even if thats all we have, I still think its quite a lot. Stay strong.', 'Anytime. Seriously, anytime you need someone to listen feel free to message me.', 'Hey man, Im sorry you had to go through all of that. It cant be easy having to deal with all of that. But youre clearly strong, you can pull through this. I know you can. In the mean time Ill be here if you need to talk.', 'Youre clearly an intelligent person with a way with words. You admit that you know it must get better, why not work towards that? If youre having trouble finding something to do, to keep life interesting might I suggest writing or poetry? You honestly do have a way with words. Dont give up, Im pulling for you. ', 'Thats great! Im happy to hear that youre doing better. And Im happy to keep talking to you. Have your finals started yet? ', 'Yeah math is tough, good luck with that.', 'Languages were always one of my hardest classes as well. Props to you for choosing math, I just never had a good grasp on it. Im happy to keep replying, of course Im not annoyed. Good luck with your Dutch exam.', 'Let us get to know the real you. Im sure youre a great person. Its hard to tell over the internet, but we wont have that problem if you stay with us.', 'Im sorry to hear about all that. But Im curious as to why you think you are a failure. I wish I was smart enough to stumble into Princeton. You are clearly an intelligent person with many interests. I truly believe that you have a lot of potential and can do great things. Its perfectly natural to feel Stress about the possibility of employment, especially in the current job market. But please dont let that cause you to do something you cant take back. Stay strong, Im here if you want to talk.', 'Why would you think you dont deserve to live? It looks to me like youre a talented person who just made some mistakes. It sounds like you just need support to stop smoking, try being honest with your family, Im sure theyll want to help you. Have you tried any support groups, or drug programs? You mention there are things you still want to do, there is plenty of time for you to do them. I believe this is a problem you can solve, and certainly not worth killing yourself over. Stay strong, there are people who care.', 'But youve clearly got drive and ambition. If you can quit hard drugs you can do anything. And it might not seem like much but you still have people who support and care about you here.', 'Wouldnt it be better to alter your plan just a little? ', 'First off, in no way shape or form do you sound stupid and whiny, so you can cut that shit out right now. Anything that is important to you is important. Not to mention Suicidal thoughts and abusive relatives are anything but trivial. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Also do you mind me asking how old you are? You might have other options besides living with your grandmother.Hang in there I know you can do it. Youre obviously a strong, caring person. Pet your dog for me, Ill be here if you need to talk. ', 'Your family is probably trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation, that doesnt mean they dont care about you. They care about you so much they will completely forget about you yelling at them. Stay strong, I know you can do it.', 'Dont hate yourself. You are not hopeless. Youre going

Indicator

Thanks for the effort, but you missed the point. I just wanted advice on how to push away any thought of offing myself that might be comforting. I dont need reassurance that I can make more friends when I move, thats not a problem. Its not that I feel isolated either. I enjoy the quality time I spend with myself, and I have plenty of great friends. "We are all alone at times ... get over it" isnt much help, its not even close to the problem.If you have >advice on how to dismiss these sort of thoughts I would greatly appreciate it.

Ideation

Pretty sure weve dated in the past. When I read your screed what I see most of all is the word "I." It is abundantly clear to me that the only thing you have to focus on is yourself and you hate this with an unbridled passion. Yet you turn deeper inward which makes you hate *more.*What have you done to make the world a better place lately?Whom have you helped?How have you changed your environment for the betterment of those who come after you?You speak of patients. Im guessing your ability to improve the livelihood of those you work with professionally is being hampered by your inner experience and this isnt helping your well-being either. Its time to reset the clock.Take a working vacation. Plant trees for a Asthenia. Join the Peace Corps. Do *something* wherein you are out of your comfort zone, doing things you dont know how to do, for people you do not know. Ctrl-Alt-Delete your day-to-day and see what changes. It seems like you have nothing to lose.', '>But that advice you gave wasnt always valid. Nowhere did I say it was. It was advice for exactly one person. One person who clearly was not considering his situation rationally, yet was considering his behavior rational. The key to such situations is to illuminate the irrationality of that behavior - I even gave examples of when it might be rational. Yet you steadfastly refuse to see this.>I feel like itd be pretty rational. Ill consider doing an X-post shortly.Ive already seen some of your situation. You have professional training, you have a daughter, you have a whole lot to live for. It is *not* rational to conflate "Im in a shitty job market" with "I should just kill myself.">What you said was untrue, no matter who you said it to.What I said was "youre not thinking rationally." Thats as true as true can be. When a 21-year-old with a viable social network says "I have no future" it is not a rational statement. Ill say for the umpteenth time - there are rational times to contemplate suicide. I delineated a few in my response. My advice to the OP was that **HIS** situation was not rational. Yet you keep saying "thats not true for me, and its not true always."###NO SHIT.So let me reiterate - this entire thread is a full-stop, all-hands-on-deck attempt by every interested and disinterested party to influence the behavior of the **SUBMITTER.** Thats not you, thats not anyone else, and its anything but universal. I stand 100% behind everything I said, and I stand 100% behind the notion that were you to commit suicide, it would not be a rational act, either.But Im not going to continue to debate here, in this thread, whether or not what I wrote for *him* makes sense for *you* because right here? Right now? This isnt about you.You wanna make it about you, submit something. Until then, go pester someone else.', 'Totally, d00d. Break some shit. When I was good and Depression, and good and *angry,* I used to take glass jars into the canyon and destroy them with nunchucks. Good times.', 'Been there, done that, man. Im going to tell *you* what nobody told *me*:Teenagers arent in their right mind.Serious. It isnt a psychological thing or anything - its pure anatomy. Your brain is rewiring a crapload of neurons in your teens and that process makes you think truly stupid things are good ideas. Youre drowning in an overdose of hormones that your body needs but your mind really doesnt. Youre being overwhelmed from a biochemical standpoint AND a neurological standpoint *as well as* having to spend multiple hours a day with beknighted idiots suffering through the exact same bullshit as yourself.I wont even get into whatevers going on in your life because its inconsequential to the problem: *youre in a short-term medical crisis that is entirely chemical.* Itll get better, just like zits, just like excessive sweating, just like errant boners in math class.Trust me. Youll have a much better handle on this stuff when you can think straight. Bookmark this link. Set a date on your calendar. Come back in a year and tell me whats changed and whats stayed the same. Suicide is forever. 17 is just a year. You might not be un-fucked in the head by 18, but Ill wager youll be on your way.', 'So what do you do if suicide is the rational, logical choice?*You recognize that your perspective on "rational" and "logical" is completely and utterly blown.*Ill get back to being nice in just a minute, but for this brief sentence **SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!**Know who else was a college dropout from a small village in Eastern Europe? [Nikola Tesla.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_tesla)Know who pumped Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas and parked cars before getting rich enough to not really care when Eddie Griffin crashed his Ferrari Enzo? [Daniel Sadek.](http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aTqNSIm9G.To)Know who dropped out of High School and lived with her mom in a car? [Hilary Swank.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilary_Swank)You know the difference between a college grad and a college dropout? The former thinks his $100,000 slip of paper will help him get a $30k a year job. The latter is just as hopeless, but better off financially.* * * Look. You cant "logic" your way out of Depression. You cant "argue" your way out of Emotional upset situations. You also cant "logic" your way into them. I read your headline and was expecting "I have terminal cancer" or "I just committed capital murder and theyre going to catch me" or "[My arm has been crushed by this boulder for five days and Im starting to drink my own urine."](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston) But no, your "rational, logical" choice is "I have a loving family, a spectacular command of the English language, a roof over my head and Ive managed to turn a temporary setback into a life-ender."Know what drives friends away? Depression. Know what makes things appear hopeless? Depression. Know what keeps us from thinking straight? Depression. Know what blows our perspective all to fuck? Depression.Know whats an organic, biological disorder? Depression.Your parents "barely cope" with you being gay. That means they havent thrown you out of the house, even though youre a friendless, disappointing college dropout who likes teh cock. You have absolutely *nothing* to lose by saying "Mom, dad? Im really Depression. I thought about killing myself. But Im starting to realize that really Im just feeling trapped and as if my life is at a dead end. Can you help me? Can you give me ideas as to what to do? Because the long life I have ahead of me does not seem like its worth living right now and Ill do anything to change that."You also said "almost" no friends. That means you have at least a couple. Nows the time to test those friendships. Know what a friend is? Someone you can obligate with your troubles because you know theyd do the same for you. Go to your closest friend and say "Im sorry Ive been such a drag to be around lately, man, but Im really Depression. Id love your help to bring me out of it" and see what happens.It seems to me that you have more of a social network than a lot of people contemplating suicide. It also seems to me that if you really *could* think clearly about this, you wouldnt be contemplating suicide. *And if I can get you to recognize that youre* **NOT** *thinking clearly, your healing can start.*Know who else wasnt likely to "have offspring?"[Oscar Wilde.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_wilde)[Alan Turing.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing)[James Randi.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Randi)Theres a world of difference between "offspring" and "legacy." Dont let yours be "the kid who thought the world ended after he couldnt cut college."', 'Depressions a bitch, man. The worst part is what youre experiencing isnt entirely related to whats going on around you - a whole bunch of it is a biochemical imbalance.This might get better on its own - mine did. Well, after I moved and completely changed my life. But itll get better faster if you enlist outside help.Youre sick. You can either tough it out like an idiot or you can enlist whatever health is around you. I dont know if you have benefits through work but if you do, consult a psychiatrist or counselor.Good luck, and stick around. Were here for you.', 'What would your friends say if you told them about the 9mm?Try it. See what happens. ', 'All right then.What, exactly, would make you happy? Dying is not an option. Presume youre annoyingly immortal. What do you satisfy yourself with?Douglas Adams wrote about an immortal man in one of the Hitchhikers books. This man, so annoyed with immortality, tooled all around the universe insulting people in alphabetical order. Would that give you purpose?You are filled with self-hatred, yet you are also filled with hatred for the rest of the world. Have you considered becoming a super-villain?Because in all honesty, what I see is a lot of excuses as to why *you* cant change, and why *the rest of the world* isnt worth your effort. Youre stuck in a rut and quite comfortable to sit there bitching about things.', 'There will be other girls. They will all be better than this one.You are not alone. We are listening.You arent going to be this sad again. Youre young. That sounds flippant, and Im sorry. The fact of the matter is that biologically speaking, your bloodstream is being hammered by so many different hormones that half of the moods you feel dont have anything to do with you at all.It will get much better, trust me. And someday soon, you will be able to use this Pain you feel right now to reach out to someone else... someone who is feeling what you can only remember.Hang in there, bud. Take it from me - the Pain youre in is giving you a far greater ability to appreciate joy than those whose lives have been easy.', '>Im self taught, though with a fair bit of experience and skills.Even better. All hail the auto-didact for he is best at bootstrapping.>I dont have a daughter in anything but a financial sense, I have no involvement in her life, nor do I expect to ever have a good relationship with her, what with the whole her-mother-being-the-symbol-of-all-that-is-evil bit.Sounds like youre letting the bitch win. Why would you want to do that? Did you ever think that maybe your daughter *wants* to know her father and that by taking your standpoint youre actively abetting her mothers schemes?>However for me, even in a good job market I have no real financial independence and cant even afford a small apartment. Thats still a long goddamn way from "I should off myself." Hell, dude, buy a surplus school bus, put a franklin stove in it and live in it. Plenty of my friends set up 1500sqft domiciles for less than $1000.>Every time I get a raise or a better paying job, she somehow learns of it immediately and my support payments go up a couple of weeks later.Itty boo. Start doing handicrafts on the side. Wash dishes under the table. Not all income is *declared* income and when youre talking about "killing yourself" or "bouncing a few nights a Asthenia under the table" there really isnt any parity of thought.>I dont actually have much of anything to live for, my life for over six years now has been one endless day of hell. Ive had it up to here with hearing about my obligations to other people who all so casually dismiss any towards me. Slaves have a duty to escape.run to fuckin mexico, then. >No trust me, go back and read it, thats not what you said.I know what I wrote, and I know who I wrote it to. It wasnt to you.>Heres a suggestion: relating to people as fellow human beings rather than objects to be manipulated might be a better approach.Self-involved much? Ive spent the afternoon swapping tales with YOU, SPECIFICALLY, despite the fact that you were completely unknown to me before getting insulting and condescending to a total stranger. "objects to be manipulated?" Youre the one who keeps asking for peoples help just so he can shut down any idea they come up with to continue to stew in your own juices. Heres MY suggestion: If you want help, ask for it and listen to peoples responses. Imagine what sort of life youd have if you followed through with all of them to their completion, rather than just shutting things down so you dont have to venture out of your comfortable cage. "slaves have a duty to escape." Youre so adamantly opposed to change it astounds me. Yet when you crank about people who "casually dismiss obligations towards me" you ignore the fact that youve got a living, breathing daughter - THAT YOURE PAYING FOR - that you arent even bothering to consider.', 'Go for the divorce. Its reversible.', 'Nowhere did I say "man up." What I said was "So what do you do if suicide is the rational, logical choice?You recognize that your perspective on "rational" and "logical" is completely and utterly blown."I further advised the kid >You have absolutely nothing to lose by saying>"Mom, dad? Im really Depression. I thought about killing myself. But Im starting to realize that really Im just feeling trapped and as if my life is at a dead end. Can you help me? Can you give me ideas as to what to do? Because the long life I have ahead of me does not seem like its worth living right now and Ill do anything to change that.">You also said "almost" no friends. That means you have at least a couple. Nows the time to test those friendships. Know what a friend is? Someone you can obligate with your troubles because you know theyd do the same for you. Go to your closest friend and say "Im sorry Ive been such a drag to be around lately, man, but Im really Depression. Id love your help to bring me out of it" and see what happens.>It seems to me that you have more of a social network than a lot of people contemplating suicide. It also seems to me that if you really could think clearly about this, you wouldnt be contemplating suicide.>And if I can get you to recognize that youre NOT thinking clearly, your healing can start.Now Ill ask again - you feeling like killing yourself? Then make a post explaining why. Quit second-guessing what I say to someone *other* than you and then saying "your advice doesnt work for me." cuz you know what? no shit. *thats why I didnt write it to you.*', '...yeah, thats cuz youre Depression. Look - whos the professional here? Whos had eight years or more of school to learn how to deal with people with mental illness? Whos the one making over a c-note an hour to try and help people who cant help themselves? How could your therapists inability to help you come back on *you?* Thats like blaming the car when its water pump keeps leaking rather than blaming the mechanic.You hired a professional. That professional isnt up to snuff. If this were your car we were talking about, you wouldnt say "Bad car! That mechanic worked *so hard* to make you run better and what thanks does he get?"Youd hire another mechanic.Which do you think is more complicated - a car engine or your psyche? Thats why they get the big bucks. it also means that just because one person cant help you doesnt mean *no person* can help you. Give it another go with someone else. Its not like you have anything to lose.', 'Yours is a problem of chronic overwork and chronic underappreciation. These are short term problems. Yours is a Injury of muscle solution.You say you hate your family and have no problem leaving them to rot. Have you thought of doing that? Just drive away? Drop the car off at the nearest lot, take your $300 for it and hop on a Greyhound to anywhere else?Try that first. If it makes you feel better, keep trying. Take care of *you* for a change - maybe that means panhandling, maybe that means day labor, who knows. If it makes you feel worse, then you *do* care about your family and you care about leaving them in the lurch. And they need to know that theyre killing you. And that you cant carry them any more.You need change. That much is clear. But "change" does not mean "death."', '>My parents have already dealt with my Depression in high school. Many tears were shed and many melodramatic moments had. They would not care for it again. I wouldnt if I were them.Im sure. Riddle me this, though, Batman - you think theyd rather deal with burying you? You think theyd rather wonder for the rest of their lives if they could have said something different, done something different, their baby might still be here?>As for my gayness, they never accepted it. They do realize rationally thats its not something a person can be blamed for and that its not a choice. But theyre religious so they cant be fine with it.Again, theres a world of difference between "dont accept it" and "dont care if you live or die.">When I say I have "almost" no friends I mean that I have acquaintances. Currently only two Im sort of close with. Theyre apparently dating now, good for them. Anyway, one is a Depression loser who hasnt had a girlfriend in years, has no friends and gave up on life. The other is a bipolar punk girl who has shit of her own to deal with. They know I am Depression but they think Depression is a normal condition.Sounds like all three of you could stand to support each other a little.>I agree with the poster who attacked you below. Listing all those famous people really does nothing.Hey, man. Youre the one who said life was over. Im just pointing out that people who had it far shittier than you went on to do great things. If youre going to insist that your life is "over" Im going to insist you have no perspective on the matter. Yeah, they had lucky breaks. Yeah, they made friends in high places. Yeah, they were ready to stoop really low in order to go high. How is that any different from you? Youre what? 21? Do you *really* think that there are no more opportunities waiting for you? How can you even begin to defend that?>I think what you fail to see is that this is a life ender.Damn right. Ive been on this world roughly double the amount of time you have and you know what? You arent thinking straight. You have no fucking clue what lies ahead for you, so quit pretending that its all bullshit from here. http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DwjmkCbDwsNA', 'Youre not an outsider. Youre just deeper in the valley than the rest of us.Hell matter to you until the end of your days. If you give it a shot, though, youll discover that the world is *full* of people who will matter to you. If you hate the stares you get, why dont you take out the piercings? Wear a hat? You never know - change can be good.Do something for me tomorrow. Go out, completely unchanged. Take a walk in the park or something. For every weird look you get, smile. Smile as big as you know how. I guarantee you most people will smile back.We all feel like complete outsiders. Yet none of us are. I feel you from all the way over here, and I really wish you didnt Pain so much. If I could hug you, I would.', 'There are people who firmly believe that high school is the best time of their life. Theyre generally correct: they will spend the rest of their days remembering the glory of Homecoming, thinking about the adulation basked upon them by nerds and geeks (not) as they made their tyrannical rounds about the small pond that shall forever define their lives.There are people who firmly believe that High School is the worst time of their life, and they too are generally correct. For unlike the jocks and popular kids and well-adapted drones that make up the Alpha class of any creche, their potential is unlimited and their boundaries are undefined. It is only through reaching for that which is beyond that greatness can be achieved.Everyone has a nightmare relationship somewhere in their past. Know and understand that in order to appreciate the full spectrum of life, one must know black as well as white. Those who have not seen things as dark as you have cannot truly appreciate the brights - yours is a costly and consuming gift that you had no choice but to accept, but now that it is yours, make the most of it.Good luck. And please dont bring up Twilight again.', 'Lets just go ahead and read the [whole exchange](http://i.imgur.com/UDOxL.png), shall we?Now - I sent you here. I dont wanna see anybody shoot themselves. My family has dealt with suicide plenty.I also dont want to pick a fight in /r/suicidewatch. This is hallowed ground as far as Im concerned. These are good people, and they dont need our petty bickering getting in the way of healing and help.I will say this:*A casual snide comment from a stranger youve never met is about the stupidest reason to off yourself Ive ever heard.*Take a deep breath. Watch the sunset. Listen to some Beach Boys records (dont have any? Congratulations, now you have a quest!). The fact that youd consider (or pretend to consider) shuffling off this mortal coil to gain the upper hand in a petty discussion with someone youve ever met should clue you in to the fact that youre not thinking straight. If youre going to die to spite somebody, for fuck sake pick someone more important than *me.*Ill also make this point - youre still externalizing your problems, whatever they may be. Youre looking for reasons from others, youre looking for motivations from others, youre looking for excuses from others. What do *you* think about it? Just *you?* Not me, not anybody else, not whoever you feel has wronged you or righted you. Just *you.*Yeah, I get it. *You* feel like killing yourself. Well, heres this asshole who thinks youre a whiney-ass titty baby (you are) who wants to make your problems the worlds problems (you do) and I *still* think you should stick around.Everybody has off days. We dont make them better by getting other peoples permission or encouragement to kill ourselves. We make them better by coming up with a better, more sustainable revenge than eating a gun to show your resolve on the *internet.*If youre serious about this, pick up the phone and call one of the numerous suicide hotlines in the sidebar. Hell, PM me and Ill give you my phone number. You know how everybody makes fun of that kid who offed himself over [Dungeons and Dragons?](http://www.tabula-rasa.info/Roleplaying/RoleplayingMyths.html) Youre gonna make that mutherfucker look like Rambo.Dont kill yourself. But above all, dont kill yourself over a tedious exchange with a total stranger that consumed maybe ten minutes of the day. On the "stupid ways to die" scale thats somewhere between "scratched a mosquito bite until it went septic" and "blew his head off because the gym teacher gave him detention" like my buddy Tims big brother did in 8th grade.', '>Btw, listing a bunch of famous people who had it bad is pretty fucking rude.Fuck off. You see a bunch of famous people who had it bad. I see a bunch of famous people who didnt used to be famous and who had the same challenges as the OP. One of us is trying to help. The other is being a jerk.>Not having a degree is a big deal.I mix TV for a living. The supervisor on one of my shows - the guy that hires me - didnt graduate high school. Dont tell me what to do - you clearly have too narrow a worldview to evaluate anything I have to say.', 'Pay attention, though, tardling, thats not the situation were talking about here, which is what I spent a ridiculous amount of time pointing out.By the way, when did it become *de rigeur* to throw flames in /r/suicidewatch? I mean, the kids already dead. What the fuck point is there in being a rank prick with absolutely zero reading comprehension when I **wasnt even talking to you?**', 'Boxing.Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.Mui Thai.Find something physical, **full contact**, that will allow you to Pain and be Pain.The exercise will do you good, as will the violence. From there, you shall find peace.', 'Who says you have to "make it?" Know why I didnt link to the millions of people who had shitty childhoods who are now leading happy, fulfilling lives?cuz if you think you need to be Hilary Swank to be happy, youve got other problems than Depression.', 'You dont suck, you dont feel listened to. Some people *never* work through their issues with their parents - and one of them was our president for eight years.Im not going to tell you *not* to kill yourself. Actually, yeah I am - would you expect anything less? But perhaps more importantly, dont kill yourself because you have a shitty therapist.You need to find a better therapist. The person who has been working with you has clearly done all he can - maybe thats because hes not Tired good at his job, maybe its because youre a tough nut to crack. Either way, will you do me the favor of trying a different therapist for a while before you do anything Injury of muscle?', 'My uncle committed suicide in 1952.I was born in 1974.I had to deal with my mom freaking out every time I didnt call home on time because that meant Id killed myself......and the fact that she figured by the time you hit 38, youve seen twice what you need to see (since her brother died at 19)......because my fucking uncle, who died 22 years before I was even born, couldnt hack Harvard.Suicide is a dick move. Youre fucking up the lives of people who arent even living yet.', 'Then ask *me*, dont say "what youre telling that kid is wrong." By the way, you didnt say "I feel like killing myself because my parents dont fully accept the fact that Im gay and I feel trapped in Eastern Europe with no education." You said "Conniving baby mamma who I begged not to have my child and ruin my relationship with the woman I loved did it, then takes most of my income. I have no money, no realistic prospects for a family or good education, no chance of ever pursuing my dreams. Fed up with unrewarding, slave-like existence and need alternatives."Those two experiences dont meet at any single point. And, having read your link, it seems that you arent at all interested in getting advice - youre interested in shutting down a whole bunch of reasonable advice so that you can continue to feel sorry for yourself.So - are you feeling like killing yourself? Then we should talk about that. You should make a post and we can talk. This is a Tired supportive forum for stuff like that. But when Im not talking to you - Im talking to a person threatening to kill themselves - the arguments that are convincing to you two days later have little to do with whats convincing to them.And hey - I spent the weekend thinking the kid was dead. Turns out he isnt. So maybe it worked.I care a lot more about what *he* thinks than what *you* think.

Ideation

Then maybe returningt there might be the first step. You should be w/ the family of your choice, not w/ people who clearly dont want the best for you. You should take care of yourself for a while and while doing that maybe also put some distance between you and that girl - it might help you to put things into perspective. Stay strong!', 'No matter whether you believe in fate or God or anything: that misfiring gun was a SIGN and Im really thankful for it. I hope you can use this extreme experience to your advantage!', 'Scumbag brain... Sees something beautiful and uplifting: yanks the tear ducts wiiide open...', 'Please dont feel guilty. You have a disease and it is so strong that even your partners love cant seem to stop it. Its not your fault and its not an unusual thing to happen. Maybe its really for the best if you outsource the job of taking care of you. That could take the feeling of guilt off your shoulders and also relieve your partner of some of his responsibility. You have two great things working for you at the moment: the fact that amazingly human beings care for each other unconditionally and are even able to forgive the worst-seeming things. Plus, the will to live that you expressed in your last paragraph. Its there, its true. Cling to these things with all the strength you still have, thats all you have to do, the other things are out of reach at the moment, you can care about them once you feel better. Get well soon!', 'Its unfair that many people can just leave their beds w/o problems. It may seem like a miracle to you, it sure does to me sometimes. But everyones got special challenges in life and even those who jump our of bed wearing a bright smile each day might be confronted w/ difficulties once they enter a car, make a cake or whatever. Even if not, even if their life seems perfect, they are bound to encounter some rocks on the road eventually. So this is your challenge. Its one of the nastier ones, no question about that. But life functions Tired strangely and so I think you should try to hold on, try to take on day after another, try to battle against all the rocks that are in your way. I know its worth it and Im pretty confident youll find out the same if you just hang in there.

Supportive

Came back home about 2 hours ago...', 'It is true that there are people in this world who can love. It is also true that millions of people dont find any love or comfort all their lives and suffer. I cant do that, i cant live a hurtful life. I think i have given this world a fair chance. Waited 22 years, given a chance for people to be fair with me. Luckily I dont owe anything to this world or the people here, i can leave in piece. I just want to die somewere where nobody will find my body. Or be able to identify it. I dont think anyone has earned the right to mourn me. I still love that girl, and will do anything for her. But she has decided to take me off her life. More precisely, she has decided to net be there when im suffering and be there with me only when she needs me.', 'I just want some peace. I cant stop crying, i just want to die...', 'Im just an insignificant toy for people to use and throw away. Nobody gives a damn about me. I hate this pathetic life. ', 'I have spent a significant amount of time in beautiful places. Himalayas, oceans, villages, hills... It just doesnt matter or make any difference.', 'We live in the same house. Thats why i have to move far away to die. Im not emotionally capable.', 'Im really Tired of sharing my story with so many people on the internet. I hope youll be the last person and ill put myself out of this misery. Im a 22 year old male from India. When i was a kid, just like any other kid, i was immensely attached to my parents. Specially to my dad. He meant the world to me. When i was Tired Tired young, my parents started having problems in their relationship. I didnt know the reason. But a time came when my mother decided to leave and take me with her. She found a job secretly and took me away. But things went bad, she couldnt get the job she was hoping for. She was broke. She told me she is going to leave me at my dads house and find a job and come and pick me up in 2 months. I didnt understand why dad had another house. When she left me at his door and i went in, it hit me. He was already married with a daughter 4 years older than me. I stayed there for 2 and a half years. In these two and a half years i was harassed by my step sister. I was scared to even use the washroom when i needed and urinated myself. She told everyone that i was a thief. She used to talk about my mom insultingly. It was Pain, but not something i couldnt handle. What broke me was my dads response to all this. Till that day i was his darling, and then suddenly he stopped bothering about me. He believed whatever his daughter had to say. Never believed me. Being ditched by the person i loved the most was extremely Pain. I was around 10 years old when all this happened. Its Tired traumatic. I dont even remember a lot of details.After 2+ years i got out of that hell, i started living with my mom and my dad provided all the financial needs. But he never loved me. He used to show all his frustration from work and outside world with my mom. He didnt treat us like a legitimate family. He didnt give us any dignity. For the outside world he was not my father. I never had any friends at school, from 5th class to 8th class i was Tired badly bullied. After that i slowly started recovering. I became this model guy to everyone around me. Wise, intelligent, ambitious, all that shit... But i was alone, broken in the inside, just waiting to explode. And last year i met this girl. Not somebody i would consider good looking, but i fell in love with her. She held my hand and took my heart. Se was the first person i shared my story to. I thought finally my life is about to see some happiness. But it didnt last even for a couple of days. I loved her immensely, she didnt. She was bi-polar. She gets angry at me, destroys me, breaks me and once in a while, Tired rarely she gives me some love. She keeps me far away from her, im the least of her priorities, she has a boyfriend whom shes gonna leave with. Im just there on the side, when she needs me. I cant let go of her, because she has suffered a lot in life, i dont want her to suffer and be there to make sure she is happy. There were times when she kept me away for a couple of months and it was hell, i cant stay away from her. She will come to me only when she wants me. Otherwise im a disturbance to her sleep. Now probably youll just give me advice to leave her and find the love that i deserve, thats what she also tell me. To find the love I deserve. The thing is Im Tired of this world. Where people cant even love. Im done with this.', 'its ok', 'Im exactly where you are now. 22yo. Male, the person I loved doesnt even care how her words and actions Pain me. I come from a Tired disfunctional family. And I just want to opt out. Feel like a coward for only thinking about it. Going to be in a university in a few months... The worst part is I dont know how to help you, I feel pathetic. Im Illness. I can pray to the universe to take care of you. Love you from a thousand miles away, but dont know any real way to help you.', 'Im Illness of life. Yesterday i again got into what i call the "suicide preparation mode"... This generally lasts for almost a month, where i make up my mind well enough to attempt suicide, plan everything meticulously and take the plunge. This time i wont fail. Theres no way i can fail by jumping off a high rise.', 'Im so sorry this is happening to you. Everytime i hear something like this, i wish i could be of help. But im incapable. I dont want to help anyone. I just want to die peacefully... fast.', 'Thats why i have been alive this long. THere were times when i was just about to kill myself and stopped. She will respect my decision. Once its made. You know what, my mom doesnt have anyone in this world who loves her, not even me. Im incapable of showing my love to her. Im mentally that damaged. I know for a fact that she is alive just to care for me. She is suffering a Tired Pain life for me. If Im gone shell either leave all this and live life the way she initially wanted, or shell also quit. I would be happy if her beautiful soul is out of its misery.', 'I wanted to die in a way such that my death wont be much of a mess for anyone. I went to a seashore about 700 kms away from where i live. I threw away my phone, licence and any things that will identify me. I wrote a letter to my mom requesting her not to search for my body or bother to perform any last rites. I asked her to stay away from all her insensitive family members and lead a peaceful life. I asked her to not tell anyone that im dead. If she has to, just tell them that i died in an accident or something. Kept a note in my pocket saying that Im an orphan and my body organs can be used wherever they are useful. I found a secluded spot on the beach and ran in (I dont know swimming). I dont know how long i was there. I could feel myself being dragged by one current into the ocean, while a current of water passed by towards the beach from above. It wasnt painless. There was no option for me not to breathe air. My body was forcing it self open and gulping in water. I have a high lung capacity. In between i surfaced twice or thrice above the water. Could open my eyes during the whole episode. The waves were hitting me hard. After a period of time i could feel the land just a Oedema of extremity below me. I was thrown back to the beach. I was in shock, im still in shock. Im unable to process anything. During the episode, i was happy, that i was leaving all this shit behind. After i got washed up ashore i was lying there for sometime, two guys were close to me, i dont know where they came from, they were talking about me but didnt talk to me, some people passed by, i searched for my phone, couldnt find it. I had enough money in my pocket to make it home. I lost my spectacles somewhere, my eyesight is around -5, found it Tired difficult to make my way to the bus stand, Im still Tired much wanting to leave all this shit behind, but im a coward, Im not able to bear that much pain. I think shooting myself in the head is the best way to go. But getting a gun in India is impossible for common people. I dont know what to do. If i had a little bit of courage, i would have went back in. But im a fucking coward.', 'Maybe my post history will give an idea. There are just a couple of posts. ', 'I cant. Its not creepy. I just cant. She knows how much i love her. Im writing her a letter about it.', 'may be looking at my post history would help. There are just a few posts...

Attempt

Since I just agreed to assist you for bacon I felt obliged to reply to this.Believe me man, as many times as Ive felt shitty (Never seriously thought about Suicide though) Things have always gotten better. I think you need to just chill, you seem like a cool guy, appreciate the smaller things in life a bit more. The chances that you were even born were astronomical.If you want to talk more just reply! ', 'Woahhhhhhhh, hold up, yes.What is the Disability if you dont mind me asking?There are jobs that you can do from your computer you know.Im not criticising you', 'You sound smart, and you sound like you need a job, which Im sure you could get, if I was going to do anything silly, Id certainly make sure Id had a satisfactory life first. Sounds cliche, but the worlds your oyster. People in a worse situation have came out better.Best of luck. ', 'This is literally the strangest moment in my life. Im a 16 year old boy living in England, I came over the this [/r/](/r/) by chance and now I have the potential to change someones life. In a weird kind of way youve just made my life better. Im going to have to sleep sometime so Im sorry!, but I shall talk tomorrow if you wish.Best of luck in the meantime :) Im sure youre a real good guy.', 'Depends what the reason is. Im only an ear and a brain to you. You can tell me.', 'http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/pcarg/burden/This guy needs some help right now, Im going to have to go.', 'Hey man, you offered bacon. Just kidding, seriously though, anytime. ', 'Thank you for taking the time to thank me and to comment on my comment.IT BEGINS! ', 'Hey, so I just came over to this sub-Reddit to have a look around and to try and educate myself on how other people feel. Your post was the first I saw. I clicked on it and read.Whatever you do dont Pain yourself, It is such a big mistake. Think of how amazing it is that youre here, not to sound to cliche but your left hand is made from particles of a different one from your right!Think of all the beautiful places and things that you can experience. Its a giant word out there. Maybe you should take a few months break and explore. Do whatever youve ever felt like doing. At this moment in time nothing should matter more to you than being happy.I really hope you read this and hope that it makes a difference.Im sure that there are many people to talk to, either on line, by call or in real life. Please dont do anything that will harm yourself. Please reply', 'First of: "I think it would be better for everyone" should never be a last resort. If you really felt this way you could always move away.', 'Would you mind telling me what your Pain is? I may not be able to get back to you for 20 or so hours, but please hold on. Hell, try and hep some people in your own situation. You may feel better. Im sure potentially saving a life would be one of the most rewarding things possible. Do it for everyone that cares about you, look at some pics of yourself as a child, think of back then. What would that boy think of your situation?', 'You are that boy. Practice for a marathon, do some sports, Damn, try bungee jumping, you may as well try them right?', 'If you really feel like this, then I suggest you just leave her for a while, and go and do some things you find fun. I mean if youre really that tempted by death then I think you should go have some fun while you can right? Im sure your girl friend would be so upset if you Pain yourself. I honestly wish I was better at this, I just came to this place today and dont know how to say. I feel that I have to try and help some people. Think of the simplest thing that makes you happy and keep thinking about it.Looking at your recent posts you seem like a really nice guy, Im sure that youre at least adding some value to their life. ', 'You just answered your own problem man.You say to her: "Whats up?"When she says that nothings up you tell her what you just said."Its better to talk to someone than hold it in."

Supportive

Yes that is true, but our parents are the only people who will honestly be there for us and love us no matter what. Maybe tell them youve been struggling and that you need a little help and just come clean? It might even help you more than you think... Sure they will be mad but that will blow over. Never doubt yourself in anything... You sound like a Tired intelligent individual and I bet you could do wonders in school. This is just a learning lesson and youll go back with a vengeance! Goodluck to you! I am here if you ever need to talk. Goodnight :)', 'Maybe you think about it because it does provide relief thinking that all your problems could be solved and go away with just one action... Doesnt mean you truly want to do it. Just seems like a Sharp Pain and easy end to the Pain.', 'My coping mechanism was watching my friend commit suicide and what it did to all of our/her friends and mostly her family.. You dont think much of any of this while youre battling Depression but it affects the people in your life that you thought didnt care more than you would ever imagine. Which is what has gotten me to try and fight this disease before it gets worse. Although most times it feels like Im fighting a losing battle.', 'Is there a specific reason why you couldnt pass the other classes which led to the probation/suspension? If you would like to talk we can do it here or PM.', 'Why do you feel like youre a disappointment to everyone around you? Im sure everyone here has felt this type of way but its not worth your own life.', 'Ahh, I had that exact problem. I am a horrible writer or at least that is what I tell myself. I am not creative nor interested in the subject so it is also one I struggle with. What Ive learned however is that you just have to tell yourself to suck it up and write something. As soon as you turn in that first paper it gets easier and easier throughout time. Who cares if you get a low grade... You will learn from it and improve for the next paper. Is english your only problem? I was on academic probation and then suspension and I just decided to cover it up by saying I needed a break from school to figure out what I truly wanted in life. I have been on a "break" for about a year now and it honestly did me good. Maybe this is what you need and will put things into perspective for you. If anything it is an excuse you can use with your parents and say you would just like to work for a little bit until you figure out what it is what you want to do with your life.', 'Someone I knew committed suicide and it led me to feel the same way... Why couldnt i work the courage up to just do it too? I still dont know til this day and Im trying to figure it out. Maybe theres a reason... who knows. Sometimes it just feels like youre not cut out for this life but theres nothing you can do about it. ', 'What is making you think of suicide or feel like life is working at a tough job?', 'I always struggled with english as well until I finally found a professor that changed that. How have your english professors been? Also, what is distracting you? What exactly is it that you struggle with when writing?

Ideation