HuggingFaceGECLM/REDDIT_submissions · Datasets at Hugging Face

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TIFU by dropping acid with a girl I met online.

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Slept a A...LOT

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Slept a little too long

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I was going on vacation with my family, and decided I should make some friends online. Started joining Discord servers based on the country I'm visiting; I made a friend, and we agreed to meet up on my first day arriving to the country. We met up at the mall (20km away from my hotel), and it was going fine, we were getting along ok. Before meeting up, I told her about LSD, and downplayed its effect majorly, my only experience with LSD was at very low dosage, and I was ignorant. She was quite curious as she has never had any experience with any drugs, she ended up taking 2/5 of a 300ug tab (I took the rest) . The buildup was nice, and we were just kinda messing around, and giggling. Leaving, and entering the mall a few times, passing security guards while being high. This blissfulness slowly ended when we realised we were only getting started with the trip, not only that, her dad was picking her up, and she was still tripping. She got mad at me, which I don't blame her, but I was too fucked up to think straight. She asked me if she would be ok by the time her dad arrived, and I just said yes because I didn't want her to freak out. She was also worried about how I was going to get back to my hotel, but I told her not to worry. She left, and I only got higher. By this point my memory starts to get hazy, I walked around the outside of the mall, and started talking to random people. I wasn't acting too weird due to there being a language barrier, but then I started peaking. I don't remember how I met Muhammad. I couldn't tell if he was a real person or not at this point, I saw roughly what I can only describe as Arab Jew Kevin Corrigan from Pineapple Express morphed with Rowan Atkinson. I told him I was tripping on acid, and I asked him the same question over, and over again. "Where are we?", "Who are you?", "Who am I?", "Why are you helping me?"He responded with the same answers, and was being really helpful. He led me to a restaurant to meet up with his friends, and their girlfriends. I was making a fool of myself, and his friends were laughing at me, but I think I was being rude, and disruptive. I also couldn't recognise where I was, because it was my first day in this country, and first time at this mall. They fed me some milk, and coffee to try to calm me down, and eventually called me a taxi home. I texted the girl when I got home to see if she was ok, and she said she vomited on her dad's car, and said I lied to her, saying the drugs wasn't that strong. She then blocked me, but I had her instagram, so I told her to text me when she's sober, because I was freaking out too. She's still mad at me, but the fact that I will probably never meet her again, and never talk to her again, really bothers me. I'm also mad I never got to say thanks to Muhammad, he basically saved my ass. TL;DR: Made a friend online who lived in the country I was going to on vacation, I was ignorant, and downplayed the effects of LSD. Met up with the friend at a huge mall, and tripped balls. Met an awesome dude who guided me home. **EDIT**: I told her I took 100ug, and felt fine, which did happened, so maybe if she took 2/5 of the 300ug tab she would just get a head high too (which obviously didn't happen). I just wanted to say sorry, but yeah I shouldn't have contacted her again. I just felt like such an ass, I just wanted to have a fun night, and I ruined everything but yes I was speaking out of my ass, and I regret it a lot. I just can't do anything now to make it up, and it's killing me.

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TIFU by dropping acid with a girl I met online.

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I suppose the FU was months ago, but it only really came to roost a few days ago So I was fired last year, after 6 years in my job - ‘new manager/ face no longer fit’ kind of thing. It was a shock and job hunting was stressful. I did get a job though and I’ve been there 6 months. I really like it, the job is good and the environment and culture are way better than previously. I am still a bit paranoid about losing this job though, knowing how easily it could happen. Something I said in the interview process has now come back to bite me. Everything I said about my job skills and experience was true but I may have over-egged the ‘what do you do for fun?’ question. They think I’m REALLY into sports and outdoorsy things, whatever the weather. I’m not. During the process, they talked about an annual team building challenge/ fundraiser and would I be up for it. Funny how when you’re desperate you really really are up for things like this…. Anyways, there’s this mud obstacle race a few months away, which they’re starting to plan for and they’ve put me down for it. It sounds horrendous, I’m not sure if I’m physically capable as well as being allergic to mud and cold water. I was caught on the hop when they asked me and didn’t want to say I’d made stuff up on my resume. Unfortunately I also confirmed I’m free on the day. So to really fit in with my dream job I’ve got to spend a few months getting fit enough to do this really horrible thing and it’s my own fault. I’m sure I could have got the job anyway but now it will look terrible to pull out. Think positive thought for me Reddit! TL;DR my stupid unnecessary lies during my job interview have (literally) landed me in cold water(and mud) a few months from now.

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TIFU by lying in my job interview and am having to pay for it by doing a mud race

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TIFU when I reacted positively to be catcalled

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Random throwaway. This morning my gf (25) and I (28m) passed a group of young guys (late teens, more or less) as we were walking down the street. One of the guys waited until we had our backs toward the group before shouting "nice ass!" At that moment, my gf turned around and yelled "grow the fuck up!" The loudmouth guy laughed like an evil anime character and said "I was talking to your boyfriend." The whole group was like "OoOoOoOoOoh." My gf looked at me and asked why I was smiling. I didn't even realize I was smiling until she pointed it out. I said no one has ever complimented my ass before. My gf said being catcalled is not a compliment and asked if I was gonna walk away without saying anything. I said if I was gonna open my mouth, it would be to say thank you for appreciating my ass. My gf and I did not see eye to eye about the situation at all and now there is unnecessary tension between us. Tl:dr I got catcalled by a group of random guys in front of my gf. I took it as a compliment, which upset my gf, and now I'm in the doghouse apparently. **Edit:** *The limited information in my post seemed to be more than enough evidence to convince some of you that there was zero possibility that the catcalling was directed at me. Before you file it under concrete facts, please consider the following details: A) one of the guys (not the loudmouth) did have a rainbow/pride face mask, albeit around his wrist, but still, one of them, if not most of them, might not be totally straight, B) I noticed loudmouth guy eyeballing me when my gf and I walked past (and I actually mentioned that to my gf afterwards, but it didn't mean much to her), C) my ass is fucking awesome and it's totally plausible that it attracted the eyes of sex positive young people. That being said, it's also possible that those guys did in fact catcall my gf and used my ass to push her buttons.*

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TIFU when I reacted positively to being catcalled

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TIFU with a OLD talking stage that I was keen on

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genocidenite

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TIFU by trying an Edible for the first time in my life

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TL:DR: Took an edible for the first time in my life thinking it was 10mg. Turned out 200 and had a bad time. So me start with this happened last week. I've been hearing friends of mine casually taking it. They been getting good trips is the right way to say it. Helped them to relax, creative, and be more social-able. Furthermore, my parents are huge stoners. My step dad will have withdraws. Me on the other hand? I've never touched a joint or even a cigarette. I don't do vaping or anything. I don't even drink. In my younger days, I was very close minded on those sort of things and now I'm older and more open minded. I've decided to try it. They give me a gummie. Man was the taste trash. I was thinking a bite here or there right. Taking slow but my parents push me into the whole thing. Me, being ignorant af decides to do it. At first it was great. I gotten the giggles and I become very sociable. I could talk and talk. I'm introverted and don't talk or laugh much. I'm having fun for the first time in a long time. Then I started trippin balls man. I started see weird shit man. One point everything just seemed like it frozen in time. Then it just started going south. I begin having wicked racing thoughts. It was like my adhd and anxiety gone up x10. It was bad man. I couldn't stop thinking or slow down. I started moving my body all over to help cope. I was stomping my feet and flinching and this was the majority of the time now. I tried to lay down to sleep it off but couldn't. Even with my eyes closed I was seeing weird shit. Paranoid. If anyone knows Naruto, it was like being stuck in Itachi genjutsu on Kakashi but in a paranoid state. This lasted until the effects fade off. It was a bad time, I thought I made myself permanently stupid. When I try to think properly it lasted only for a few seconds. I was scared and had to get my cousin to come over and check up on me. My parents? No they were laughing their asses off. I've gain a new fear and ptsd from it. Later I found out it was 200mg. I was thinking it was like, 10 or something. :| 2/10 experience. TL:DR: Took an elible for the first time in my life thinking it was 10mg. Turned out 200 and had a bad time.

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TIFU By trying an edible for the first time in my life

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TIFU by saying “you too”, before the barista told me to have a good day.

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TIFU by accidentally asking someone if they know their own band

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TIFU by accidentally asking someone if they knew their own band

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Background: i always kept my hair short, but recently decided to grow it a bit. So not really used to have median length hair. Last night I deep fried some food for dinner. Afterwords I realized my house smells like oil, so I lighted up some scented candles in each room hoping to get rid of that smell. Two hours later I went my bathroom sink to wash my face. That’s when I heard fire sounds and I saw my hair was on fire in the mirror. That’s when I realized I put a candle right next to my bathroom sink. Next thing I know is me cleaning up burnt hair and charcoal that my hair turned into in my sink.. n my house smells burnt.. Yes there were a lot of burnt hair n charcoal but after I clean myself up and showered I honestly cant tell much difference so I guess that’s good. TLDR: lighting candles in my bathroom n forgot about it, later lead to my hair on fire.

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by lighting candles in my bathroom

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YIFU: I (m33) fucked up and Kissed a girl drunk yesterday

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TIFU by telling my dad my Reddit username

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Tifu by accidentally gaslighting my wife for ten years

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I (32M) have had an inside joke with my wife (30F) for ten years. As it turns out, I’m the only one on the inside. My wife has a small, but dark brown mark on the top of her left iris. It’s pretty hard to see unless her eyes are wide open, but when we were first dating, she mentioned that she had a speck on her eye. I was trying to be polite, so I told her I couldn't really see it. A few days later, the topic of the mark on her eye came up again and she asked if I really couldn't see it or if I was being nice, because to her, it was very noticeable. I playfully said I couldn't see anything. Over the years it became a back and forth where she would insist that I can see it and me denying it– for me it turned into a funny joke. She would take a picture of her iris, zoom in on the brown speck and say “How do you not see that?!” and I would play dumb. Whenever I denied it, I always had a goofy smirk and used a sarcastic tone, hinting that yes, I really can see it. It was just another one of our many inside jokes and I thought of how long to let it ride. I even thought about when was the perfect time to give up the gag – maybe even slip it into our wedding vows… Thankfully I did not do that. Fast-forward to today and we were talking about heterochromia in huskies which led to the topic of my wife’s eye and she was noticeably angry. She took a picture of her iris again and zoomed in and demanded to know if it was some kind of sick joke. She said I was gaslighting her and then it just clicked–I was gaslighting her. She went on to say, it wasn't funny to her at all. It started out as annoying , but she would go around to her friends and family members and ask if they could see the mark. Everyone would say yes but she still questioned if they were just being nice or if I was telling the truth and she really doesn't have a mark on her eye. For years she was tortured with the idea that she might be going crazy over whether or not she actually had a small brown mark on her iris and I realized how big of a fu I made. I immediately fessed up, didn't even try to explain myself, and I apologized as sincerely. To me it was a joke that we were both going to laugh about when I finally caved and admitted it, but to her I was just lying to her for TEN years. I am an idiot. I told her there were no more running gags in the works and that I owe her at least a full day of pampering. TL;DR I pretended my wife didn't have a discoloration in her eye for ten years thinking I was being cheeky, but was actually driving her insane. **Edit:** I feel like I should clarify a few things. 1. I think the use of "insane" in my tl;dr was too strong and gave the wrong impression of how my wife felt. She said she felt frustrated and annoyed, which I totally get. 2. This "gag" was pretty infrequent. It would come up maybe once a year at most, but what annoyed my wife, understandably, was that I kept it going for ten years. 3. A lot of people have asked "how is that a joke?" or "how is that funny?". It was kind of our sense of humor when we first started dating. We use to tease each other by playing dumb about something until the joke ran just a little too long. Dumb stuff like, "Did you eat the rest of the pizza in the fridge?" "Nope, in fact I don't think there was any left". As we got older, we realized how annoying it was and stopped but the eye thing was so infrequent that it felt funny (to me) to keep it running after so long. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure if I really could see it and I thought she knew I could so here we are. **Edit 2:** One additional point of clarity because a lot of people are assuming my wife is seriously bothered by the blemish on her eye—shes not. I initially said I couldn't really see it to be polite because I didn't know her well enough to know if it did bother her. She probably wouldn't have thought about it half as much if I didn't make a big deal about not seeing it.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

public

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TIFU by accidentally gaslighting my wife for ten years

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0.92

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10hzcws/tifu_by_accidentally_gaslighting_my_wife_for_ten/

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snacky99

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10hzd18

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1676233024

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So today is my bday which sparked this memory of one of my more cringeworthy f-ups. 13 years ago my now ex-wife, let’s call her Tanya, planned a big 40th birthday party for me at a bar with a large group of friends. The plan was that I would have a drink with my buddy and then head to the venue to meet the wife and whoever else shows up on time to things. We have a drink or two and walk down to the bar and go inside where we see a small group of friends. We walk over and start chatting and in the group is a woman with a clipboard who is smiling at me in a flirty sort of way, presume she works at the bar. So we are all just shooting the shit and I’m chatting with the flirty gal with the clipboard when after a couple of minutes she looks at me and goes “MY NAME, it’s me, your wife, Tanya.” Unbeknownst to me she had gone to Nordstrom that day and had one of those complete makeovers…fortunately no one else recognized her either but as her husband of 5 years I probably should have figured it out… And then 6 months later she left me for a CrossFit instructor. TL/DR: Wife (now ex-wife) threw me a bday party, got a makeover the day of, and I failed to recognize her and soon after she divorced me

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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TIFU by not recognizing my wife at my birthday party

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0.7

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10hzd18/tifu_by_not_recognizing_my_wife_at_my_birthday/

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[deleted]

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deleted

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

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Interesting Timing

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1.0

null

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some_ads

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[deleted]

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1674329887

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t3_10hzkdx

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deleted

1676233017

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

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Bestfriend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes

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1.0

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[deleted]

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1674330086

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10hznd0

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t3_10hznd0

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deleted

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[deleted]

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by being responsible and cleaning my house

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0.78

null

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some_ads

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[deleted]

null

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1674330211

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10hzp4b

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t3_10hzp4b

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

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18305548

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Best friend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes

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1.0

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[deleted]

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1674330309

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deleted

1676233012

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{}

[deleted]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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TIFU by putting my nail clippings in an almost empty bag of potato chips

None

0

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0.67

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some_ads

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regretteditt

t2_vn8y0g3u

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1674330331

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self.tifu

1674330848.0

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10hzqpt

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t3_10hzqpt

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1676233012

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Bestfriend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes throwaway bc it's better that way TIFU when my best friend (18) and I(19) were on the phone, it was late into the night and we had some tension in the past, and they were dropping hints quite often earlier on, and the question of what we were came up, and one thing lead to another and my best friend asked me out to be in a relationship , I got carried away and said yes. I don't know what I was thinking when I said yes but there were a lot of things, and then they started talking about the long term and I got scared and I started regretting it shortly after. So I called back and said that I'm nervous about the whole thing and whether it would work out in the long term because we were so far apart from each other and we've never met each other irl, and I was not sure if I reciprocated their feelings enough to have the will to make it work, so I said that we should not label it, but I guess I communicated poorly because it didn't get through properly. The next day when I had slept over it, I regretted it a lot because I felt that I would be the leading them on, when it just didn't feel that natural. I thought it would be better to have this clarity between the both of us sooner than later, because it would hurt more, so I told them that in as many words that night. They were in tears. I fucked up big time and I genuinely feel terrible about it, it's as if I raised their heart up above my head and smashed it to the ground into a million pieces. I don't know if I did the right thing and if I didn't, what went on in my mind when I said yes that night when I wasn't sure about it. I made it so miserable for her. I made her cry and my heart felt so heavy, and I apologized and I understand if they cannot forgive me for what I did. I also said I needed some time apart. I care about them a lot but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship and date them. I long to have some sort of closure and hope to be back on terms with them. I dont know what to do next and how do I get over the guilt of how much I fucked up TL:DR best friend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes, regretted it and then told them it won't work out, made them cry, feel terrible

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t5_2to41

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18305548

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TIFU when best friend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes

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0

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0.67

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10hzqpt/tifu_when_best_friend_asked_me_out_i_got_carried/

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virtual97315

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1674330726

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moderator

1676233007

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by making another sign off on a purchase

None

0

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1.0

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10hzwgg/tifu_by_making_another_sign_off_on_a_purchase/

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promo_adult_nsfw

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virtual97315

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moderator

1676233000

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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TIFU by making another sign off on a purchase

None

0

[]

1.0

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i05et/tifu_by_making_another_sign_off_on_a_purchase/

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virtual97315

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1676232997

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Fuck, I’m so slow at times. For the longest time now I’ve had the feeling that I was being done over by a total nit picker at work. I have raging ADHD, but I’ve been taking extra care to dot all my i’s and cross all my t’s. Enter project X. In short we may or may not have to switch suppliers for a certain service. I’ve been trying to line up the new option because I don’t see the old one lasting. This fall, I had to make a big order for some stuff. I knew it would be tight so I pushed it through post haste, in the hopes it’d get delivered before end of budget year. Vendor goes silent but then I’m told it won’t happen until Q1 this year. Shite. This is not the kind of investment you just casually dribble around in your budget. So end of fiscal year rolls around and I haw and hum my way out of signing off on that shit because we’re not allowed to do so unless the goods have been delivered. Now please note that normally this would not have been a problem: this is a trusted vendor that we have had a long relationship with and if it hadn’t been for the aforementioned paranoia, I’d have signed off on it and got on with my life. But this time I made sure to have three witnesses agree that signing off on this thing was ok, because embezzlement is really not something I want to be fired for. It never occurred to me that this might put them in the line of fire as well. Shit. TL;DR I tried to avoid getting in trouble for signing off on a contract payment prematurely, and may instead have dragged the Department PA into the mud pit alongside me.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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TIFU by making another sign off on a purchase

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0

[]

0.64

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i08c5/tifu_by_making_another_sign_off_on_a_purchase/

null

None

promo_adult_nsfw

3

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[deleted]

null

None

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1674337826

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1674340526.0

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10i2om3

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t3_10i2om3

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1

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deleted

1676232922

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

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I gave my dog away due to circumstances and I wholeheartedly regret my decision

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1.0

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some_ads

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[deleted]

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1674338163

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10i2tbt

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t3_10i2tbt

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deleted

1676232918

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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TIFU by wasting $165

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0

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1.0

null

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some_ads

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Alternative-Coast932

t2_vnc6rakl

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1674338727

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0

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10i31fh

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t3_10i31fh

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2

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some_ads

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1676232911

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So. A few months ago, I started work at a new company. I've not been in the UK long, and I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder. My first couple of weeks, I did really really badly, both in terms of performance and befriending my coworkers. I genuinely thought I was gonna get fired, or at the very least fail probation. This got my anxiety worse, which damaged my performance, starting a vicious cycle. I also started getting a reputation as "the weird girl" because my anxiety made me a little awkward. This continued until a few weeks into the job, when two of my coworkers swooped in and took me under their wing. They helped me a lot with a lot of things- getting better at my job, and also helping me feel more settled and less alone. Both of them took a lot of time (including outside working hours)to have pretty long talks with me about my problems. Now, another of key things about these people: 1) They're dating. 2) They're both two of the top performers at the company, at least at the junior level. 3) They're both a few years older than me. Because of this, one of my line managers stared jokingly referring to them as my work parents. I thought this was a pretty well established running joke in the company. Anyway, yesterday I passed probation, with a pretty glowing report. I genuinely don't think I could have done it without the support of my work parents, both in terms of emotional help and practical advice on how to be better. I thought it would be funny to thank them with a card that said "Thank you for being such good parents." Specifically, a card to one that said "To the worlds best dad", and to the other one that said "To my mummy." Yeah. So it turns out that the running joke wasn't actually as widespread as I thought. Turns out, they had no idea it was a thing. Turns out, they got the cards without any context. I think I'll live it down, eventually. But yeeesh. TL;DR- I accidentally implied to my friends at work that I see them as surrogate parents.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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None

TIFU with the way I tried to thank my coworkers

None

0

[]

0.81

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i31fh/tifu_with_the_way_i_tried_to_thank_my_coworkers/

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SomeGuyWithPlotArmor

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1674340031

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self.tifu

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33

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moderator

1676232897

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

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TIFU by sucking my own dick

None

0

[]

0.31

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i3jbn/tifu_by_sucking_my_own_dick/

null

None

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majorjoe23

t2_e32ij

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1674341305

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self.tifu

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10i40ms

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2

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1676232882

13

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This did happen today. I'm an assistant drama coach for a local high school. We've got around a dozen teams competing in the state competition today in categories like improv, readers theater, musical performances and others. The two groups I worked with had their slots first thing in the morning, so I thought I would just spend the day taking in the other shows. The first performance I watched that I wasn't directly involved with was a one-act drama with some salty language in it. But these are high schoolers, and the crowd is mostly parents and other high schoolers, so it's not something audience members will complain about. But we had the students give a warning about adult language and situations before performing. After the performance, the judge said "I can't say I enjoyed that," then launched into a diatribe about how it was impossible to follow the story/determine the setting/figure out the relationship between the characters (the students didn't write it, but the details were all very clear from context). The main drama coach was in the room, and he stood up, motioned for the students to follow him out and said "This isn't constructive criticism." Then the judge launched into the coach, saying this was all his fault, how dare he approve a play with such filthy language and drinking(there's no rule against that and we've been to state with this piece before). We left the room and went on to the next performance. When that was over, I was talking with the coach and some parents in the hall, when the judge came up, stepped on my coach's foot and said "I won't fight you here, but we can go off campus and fight!" A parent quickly pulled out her phone to film, and I did the same. The judge saw my phone and snatched it and ran into the boy's bathroom across the hall. I followed him in and he said "I need to delete this video," which seems silly, since I wasn't the only one filming, so I told him if he gave me the phone I could delete the video. My phone had locked at that point, so he had no way to get into my stuff. At that point an older man with a cane opened the handicapped stall and tried to come out, but the judge pushed him back into the stall, ran past me, and barreled through the main coach. I followed him down the hall, asking for my phone. He stuck it in his back pocket and said 'What phone?" He ran out of the school, and several parents called the police. I went to use Find My Phone, but it was only at about 10% charge, and when I went to Find My Phone it asked for my Apple ID password, which of course I don't remember, because it's saved in my phone! The police got in touch with him, and he claims that he A: Didn't take my phone. B: Took my phone, but gave it back. C: Took my phone, but gave it to a student. D: Didn't take my phone, but instead took the main coach's phone. The main coach and I are both pressing charges (me for theft, him for assault, due to pushing past him and the threats), but my guess is he threw my phone out his car window on the way home. The fun part is we have 90 mutual friends on Facebook. Several friends have reached out to say he's kind of crazy. The exact kind of person you want to have interacting with kids. **TL;DR:** A crazy drama competition judge berated my students and challenged my co-worker to a fight. When I tried to film his erratic behavior, he grabbed my phone and fled the school.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305548

public

None

TIFU by filming a drunk idiot berating my co-worker at a high school drama competition

None

0

[]

0.85

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i40ms/tifu_by_filming_a_drunk_idiot_berating_my/

null

None

some_ads

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calelhthrowaway

t2_dxne04vg

None

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1674341589

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self.tifu

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10i44in

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{}

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t3_10i44in

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12

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First I would like to start off that I got this puppy with my boyfriend of 5 years months ago and we were very happy. My boyfriend was training him and teaching our pup Cale commands and tricks. He was a handful but we both had the time to get him settled. We had a routine for him, hired a personal trainer and were getting him potty trained as he was not taught at the shelter yet. He was showered in affection and was deeply loved. About a month ago our schedules changed and it ruined EVERYTHING. I would wake up at midnight, take him out to potty, put him in the kennel (because he was not ready to be out and about in our home yet, sometimes still had accidents) where he'd have to wait for my boyfriend at 6:00am to go back out to potty, play for about an hour or two, get fed, nap/potty breaks with him till about noonish where he'd be let out for his last potty with my boyfriend going to work at 12:30pm and I arriving home at 5:00pm to let him out of the kennel to give him potty breaks and feed and put back in the kennel before my next shift. This was miserable, on our days off we would go for extensive long walks, hiking, doggy parks and when we ran errands if we could not take him we would drop him off to puppy day care. But we knew, come March, life would be easier. We had a plan for puppy daycare, he would get to play and socialize with other puppies, get fed and be out free not being stuck in a kennel all day. But...then we got a phone call. My boyfriend got a new job, and for privacy sake, we could absolutely not have a puppy with us for this new job or any dog for that matter. We thought long and hard about it; I didn't have any living relatives and my boyfriend's folks did not have the space nor the time for him. So we decided we would post our pup on the net and hope he went home to a good family. And we did just that, a family inquired interest immediately and during it all I was numb. I watched, out of myself, as we met at a public place had Cale meet the family where the children seemed disinterested, where the wife seemed disinterested but the man appeared elated. He wanted a child friendly dog but Cale wasn't used to kids, hell be barked at them when we went out and he was barking at these kids. I watched as my boyfriend gave these strangers our adoption paperwork and finally when my boyfriend handed the guy his leash and the way our dog-no longer our dog- kept running towards our car. I watched what I believe to be a an emotion of confusion on our dog's face. And in that moment I felt not relief that our puppy was with a family that had kids. Not that he was cute and would be taken care of, out of that kennel but infinite DREAD and consuming GUILT. I was devastated. I came home the next day feeling our home empty and dead. My boyfriend and I had arguments about his new job and found out that we were moving out of state, something he failed to disclose to me. We had been having issues outside of that and we decided to break up because I wasn't moving away from the only home I've only known along with my unborn child. My now ex, we agreed, would visit as much as he wanted. He was a good man but we definitely needed a lot to work on if we were going to work out and if we needed time our separate ways than so be it. We were civil and still have feelings of friendship for each other. That was only two days after surrendering our dog and a panic attack overcome me that made me feel alone, devastated and crippled. With us broken up, there was no reason for me to give up my dog. I knew what the plan was before he got the job so knew I could do it alone. I asked my ex to give me the guy's phone number and I texted that I would pay anything for my dog back, that I was sorry for the inconvenience but I only had my baby and Cale and 6 hours later regurgitated the same message only shorter, pleading how I would pay for this dog. And I did not receive a text back. Today I was overwhelmed with anxiety over this and got desperate and I called: no answer and I left a message, still nothing don't know what else to do. I wish we had waited, this was all a mistake and if anyone could give me ideas that would be amazing. I know he is under no obligation to return my dog and I know that for the moment we probably made the right choice but I'll do anything to undo this wrongness. Thank you for reading, please pray for me. TL;DR I gave up my dog due to boyfriend's new job not knowing it involved relocation, we broke up now I'm pregnant and alone and the family we rehomed him with doesn't want to answer my texts. I want him back.

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TIFU my Entrance Exam

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TIFU my Entrance Exams

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TIFU my entrance exams

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This happened about 20 minutes ago, and I'm currently trying not to get killed by my partner or burst out crying or laughing. My partner [F18] and I [M21] have a bit of a competition with wedgies, It started as a playful thing when the other was distracted they would receive the wedgie of their nightmares, this normally results in me jumping like a goat in frantic panic to protect my poor gooch from a wedgie of ass destruction. Or my girlfriend yelping like a wounded goat and jumping what can only be described as 10 ft into the air in a 180° twist that would make gymnastics proud, and everyone having a giggle after the ceremonious "fuck you, you cunt" Fast forward to today, my girlfriend and I are playing around in the bed when she's on top of me cuddling, I see my opportunity for she has made the lethal mistake of wearing a pair of my loose fitting boxers, the stars align, she's unprotected, and I move with the speed of my ancestors racing to a bottle of whisky and I pounce, time slows, I yank as she throws herself back and reaches to stop me but it's too little too late. As the loose fabric rockets up her back with the speed of a cheetah on cocaine running towards a wounded gazelle. My girlfriend screeches more than usual as I start manically laughing, proud of the perfect wedgie. I release her and she falls. It's then I realize that it's not laughing I'm hearing but crying. Turns out I've ripped her poor hole asunder and the gooch has been rendered ruined. Proceed with the immediate regret and standard response of every boyfriend who has hurt their partner whilst play fighting, as the groveling and apologies come pouring forth. As my GF calls for sudacreme I realize that in my efforts to attain the perfect atomic wedgie, that like Oppenheimer, some power was not meant for human hands and the casualties are too high. I must now spend the rest of the night vigorously apologizing and applying sudacreme to my partners ring. Toilet roll might be put in the freezer. TL;DR I gave my partner the wedgie of a lifetime and have torn her holes asunder, Icarus flew too close to the sun. Edit 1: I should make it clear that my girlfriends taint/gooch is safely being cared for, as my mother always said sudacreme can cure anything except cancer, and she is now asleep having had a right good laugh at the comments. Edit 2: spelling, as sad as it is I'm not as good a wordsmith as many of you believe, I am Scottish and we only recently have evolved to say any word past cheers, cunt and which one of you took a shite and didny flush. Edit 3: thanks all for your kind words and criticism, can't please everyone and remember I'm not J.R.R. Tolkien or King I wrote a minor fuckup in a way to brighten people's days and have a laugh not win any writing awards, don't take it too seriously.

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TIFU by giving my girlfriend an atomic wedgie

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Distinct-Ad773

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Tifu by going out with my boyfriend and his friends

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I went to a casino and won about $200, then I lost all my money by being an idiot.

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Forkfour

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By cracking my front tooth at a waffle house

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I lost all my money at a casino by being an idiot.

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Today I had the amazing idea to visit the nearest casino that was near me. I went positive about $200, then dumbass me decided that since I'm getting super lucky, I should try to win some more money, so I go back to play the machines, and I don't pay attention to how much money I have, and before I knew it, I have wasted all my cash. I even wasted more money frantically trying to win some money back and that left me flat broke, I should have just left when I noticed that I was losing more money than I was making. tl;dr: I went from 300$ to $500 to $0, and now I have to explain how I suddenly lost $500, I should have just left when I was winning instead of trying to win more money, but like the dumbass I am, I ruin everything good that happens to me.

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TIFU by losing all of my money at a casino by being an idiot.

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TIFU by going out with my boyfriend and his friend

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Help

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TIFU by mistakenly believing that Reddit user r/showerthoughts was the single greatest philosopher of our generation.

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soccer--girl

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Admittedly, this was back before I did not have a Reddit and knew nothing—and I mean nothing—about it. So, when I saw posts on Instagram from [r/Showerthoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/), I thought it was *a person*. As in, just one person. (Back in the day, almost every account on Instagram that reposted content they stole from other sites removed the handle of the OP, leading me to believe that [r/Showerthoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) was OP's handle). I even followed a few Instagram accounts dedicated to sharing only their posts. Post after post after post of the most profound, thought-provoking things I had ever heard. I genuinely believed there was a solitary person out there just *cranking* out these shower thoughts. I always wanted to meet (and, of course, smoke a bowl with) them. It wasn't until I asked my friend if they had ever heard of the legendary [r/Showerthoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) and they responded with, "Uhhh, you mean the subreddit?" that I realized I might be misunderstanding something. They explained to me what a subreddit was, and it was then that I realized my mistake. We had a good laugh about it. TL;DR Before I knew anything about Reddit, when I saw posts on Instagram from r/Showerthoughts, I thought they were all from the same person, and I considered them an actual genius.

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[deleted]

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by asking out a married woman.

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0.89

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2021koc

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1674354131

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1676232744

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Im a college student that's never dealt with a situation like this so please bare with me. I'd been with my partner for about 4 months at this point but we decided to break up but still "talk" to one another. We were going through a BIG rough patch and I tend to be a person that can't handle confrontation or arguments very well and I dread the thought of being alone and I thought that she didn't love me anymore because she would always just talk to me with these dry cold responses. One day on Instagram im going through stories and I see a person im not really close with but I know of her so I slide up and made a joke about her story. She then as a joke flirted with me so jokingly I did the same. We started talking more and more and actually became close friends until we realized something more was developing. The problem is I wasn't transparent in the beginning because like I said fear of confrontation so I never told her about my s.o. One day my S.O. got suspicious and checked my phone and found I was talking to her and texted the girl. She then gave me an ultimatum of either I block the girl or I don't and I lose her. I knew she already texted her so I was like if she leaves I have no one else and that fear of being alone kicked in so I blocked her. But I honestly fell in love with the girl because she treated me better and we had common interests and we're very similar. I tried to text her to apologize and explain but she blocked me so now I'm back with my s.o.(Who I honestly believe is just waiting for a reason to leave) TLDR: I met a somewhat random person while technically in a relationship, fell in love with her, and ruined 2 relationships at once just because I'm a pussy

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by cheating on my significant other

None

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0.33

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t5_2to41

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18305545

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TIFU by telling my dad my Reddit username

None

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1.0

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null

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[deleted]

null

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1674356717

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by getting with one of my fraternity brothers

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by telling my friend I have feelings for him

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canttaketheshiny

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Tl;dr at the end. I have severe social anxiety. Like, diagnosed and medicated-for anxiety. Part of that has always been what I think of as a "fear of being perceived" (which also kind of goes hand in hand with self-loathing and body dysmorphia - don't @ me, I know I have issues). Whether it be public speaking or just strangers noticing I exist, my brain thinks that that's a reason to trigger a fight or flight response a solid 25% of the time (these days - used to be a lot more like 80%, and life was harder). Anyway, my husband and I decided to take a drawing class together at the local community college. Max seats for enrollment was 14 - I figure, that's a small group, and they'll be focused on their own stuff, I'll be fine no worries. First day, first exercise: draw a self portrait. Okay, fine, I can (poorly) draw a face. Part 2: swap drawing boards with a classmate and have them draw you. So, someone is going to a) see what I've (badly) drawn and b) look at me closely for an extended period while I have to interact with them. Immediate panic attack. Having done this for awhile now, I felt it coming and basically ran out of the classroom to try to get my breathing under control in private. My poor husband has everyone looking at him sideways bc he didn't "pick" me to partner with (which is not the issue) and timing-wise, it sure looks like I stormed off bc of that. Anyway, I'm probably going to drop the class, disappointing myself, and him, yet again (tho he insists it's fine). Tl;dr: TIFU by thinking my mental illness would not impact my ability to participate in an art class with my husband. I was wrong. EDIT: Thank you all so much for your kind words and good advice. 💜 I talked with my husband and I'm going to give it another try this coming Saturday. We're going to go a bit early and talk with the prof. about letting me know general lesson plans, even if just a week ahead of time (no surprises = less anxiety).

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TIFU by venturing outside my box (and embarrassing my husband)

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10i9r2t/tifu_by_venturing_outside_my_box_and_embarrassing/

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TIFU by using the wrong cleaning fluid on the floor at work.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iaa2q/tifu_by_using_the_wrong_cleaning_fluid_on_the/

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rightodude

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I work at a café and today when we were closing up I was told to mop the floors. The floors were looking especially dirty so I asked my shift manager if I should use a different cleaning fluid, I pointed at it and she said "yeah sure if you want". In the past we had used that to clean the hard floors in the kitchen so my assumption was that it was alright for the full café. Being told by my shift manager I could use it was the all clear for me so I started mopping. When I mopped I noticed that the drips from on the mop were making marks on the painted floor. I kept mopping because most of the floor was as completely fine. After finishing a large portion of the floor I realised either the paint was peeling where the floor was most wet, or residue built up from the cleaning fluid. I didn't know what to do so I kept the mop as dry as possible and finished the whole cafe. Now that I'm on my way home from work I'm freaking out because I'm scared that the paint has peeled on part of the floor. Can I be fired for this? I feel like it's my fault even though I was told I could use the cleaning product. I'm only 18 and I've been working at this cafe for about a month TL;DR I’m scared I’m going to be fired because I used the wrong cleaning product which might have peeled paint off the floor.

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by using the wrong cleaning fluid at work

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iacy9/tifu_by_using_the_wrong_cleaning_fluid_at_work/

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TIFU by peeing my pants daily at the gym over the past month

None

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0.67

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iageb/tifu_by_peeing_my_pants_daily_at_the_gym_over_the/

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oldsoul334578

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1674361455

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Obligatory this didn’t happen today/I’m on mobile. So I was doing a solo drive across the country (USA), and I decided that I wanted to go see the Santa Fe National Forest in New Mexico. It was only a slight detour from my original route, and I was making good time, so I decided to go check it out. I looked on the National Parks website, and from what I could tell, this looked like a place where you could park your car, get out, and walk around. I put in “Santa Fe National Forest” into Apple Maps, and off I go. I get to the last part of my route, where the GPS says, “In 10 miles, prepare to park your car near Service Road x”. My SUV has AWD, and I had snow chains in the backseat, so I wasn’t worried. One thing to note is that I’m in an area of New Mexico where the population of the closest town can’t be more than 100. Here’s where it gets interesting. I’m following GPS up this hill, and the road is mostly plowed. I make it about 2 miles into the last 10 mile stretch before I see this pickup coming down the mountain, and pull up next to me. I explain myself to the 2 gentlemen, and they gently suggest I should turn around because the road up ahead isn’t plowed very well. I thank them for the information, and tell them that I’ll turn around now. They keep driving down the mountain, and I go to turn around on the narrow road (mistake #1). I am trying to navigate a 3-point turn when, you guessed it, I slide into the ditch behind me. These 2 gentlemen see this all go down, back up, and kindly ask if they can help. I of course oblige, and dig out my tow hook and tow chain. We get everything attached to their truck and my car, and they start pulling. Miraculously, it only took 2 attempts to get me out of the ditch. I thank them graciously for their help, and apologize for being a dumbass. I give them a $20, because I know they didn’t have to back up and help me. They tell me they would never leave someone stuck. I explain that GPS said the service road was up ahead, and that was when they informed me that I was actually on the service road, but nobody goes up it in the winter (mistake #2). They told me that they had a small property up ahead around the corner, and if I had kept going a little ways, I could’ve turned around there. I am quite appreciative, and they have me follow them down the mountain. I ended up getting out of the area, and after driving around 100 miles to the interstate (I wish I were joking), I was on the road again. So to the 2 nice Mexican gentlemen who helped me out, thank you so much for not leaving me stranded. TLDR; TIFU by following GPS up what turned out to be a service road in the mountains of New Mexico which led to me getting stuck in a ditch, all because I wanted to see a National Forest.

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by getting stuck in the mountains of New Mexico

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0

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0.8

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iavun/tifu_by_getting_stuck_in_the_mountains_of_new/

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Dido-bebe

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1674362376

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t5_2to41

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Tifu by going to party i wasn’t invited to

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0

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1.0

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ib5pb/tifu_by_going_to_party_i_wasnt_invited_to/

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[deleted]

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1676232644

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by existing in my hispanic bfs house

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BiGray18

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1676232642

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as the title says- my boyfriend is Venezuelan. his parents were born and raised there and immigrated over to the US with his older brother. Im white. I recently was invited over to his house as his parents have an issue with my father smoking weed, despite them smoking cigarettes. No problem. the first visit goes okay. His dad tells me to make myself at home and his mom who wasn't feeling well came downstairs for a bit to talk to me. I was happy with myself until he told me after meeting me his mom said he could do better and that she doesnt understand why he likes me since im short, white, skinny, and have no boobs or ass. She's also convinced that my father who is my only real family is a drug addict. Today, I was invited over again. It went horribly. His mom said I stunk like weed (i literally covered myself in perfume before leaving) and glared at me and insulted me to my bf as if just because I dont speak spanish means I cant put 2 and 2 together. Everytime my bf left the room we were in she tried to argue with him about me. She told him I didnt have proper manners because I didnt know the guests were supposed to greet the hosts first as every other house (including other hispanic families!) ive ever been to and my own is the host is supposed to greet the guest and the first time I came over they both greeted me first! I dont know what to do. I love this boy and I'm trying to do everything to comply with what they want. I dont feel comfortable in their house and i ended up crying as he promised me it would be okay. Im at my wits end TLDR; Hispanic bfs mom hates me cause im not perfect in body proportion, my dad smokes, and apparently im rude when they were the ones being rude to me.

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by trying to exist in my hispanic bfs house

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iby1b/tifu_by_trying_to_exist_in_my_hispanic_bfs_house/

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TIFU by giving my gfs cat an existential crisis

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1.0

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ic4d2/tifu_by_giving_my_gfs_cat_an_existential_crisis/

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BubblyBrookieCookie

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1676232632

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My ex (35 male) and I (25 female) broke up in September (after four years together), however we continued to fuck through November, when we finally moved out of our apartment (it was more convenient to wait to move and we decided friends with benefits was okay) He brought his date in tonight to a bar that I and my sister occasionally work at. I worked their full time for two years and recently just started working there as needed. All my friends work there. I work there when they ask me to. We broke up because we have different ideals for our future. We talked about continuing to be friends. This was the fuck up. I thought we could maintain a friendship and eventually see new people. We send each other snaps of our cats daily. We talk a few times a week. Two days ago, he asked me if someone I knew could get him antibiotics because he was sick. He has had ample opportunity to tell me he was seeing people (I even started to suspect even though he denied it). He could have taken her to a different bar. Our town has many different options. I'm not upset that he is dating. I'm upset that out of all the places they went, they went there. I did yoga with their server this morning. The bartender was my sister. This is the one place I go for drinks after work. I said hello. I shouldn't have. She complimented my shirt and was incredibly sweet. I sent a text to him apologizing for making it weird. He said he was worried this would happen. I said maybe we shouldn't continue to talk since he is seeing people. He said no that's fine. I know it isn't fine. I'm probably overreacting. I should have known this would happen. I just didn't expect it to happen in my safe space. He obfuscated the truth in our messages but was probably trying to be nice. But then why did he bring her here? &#x200B; I know this happens every day, but I feel better talking into the void. Thank you &#x200B; TLDR: My ex and I have tried being friends. He brought a date to the bar my sister and I frequent and work at and now I am heartbroken all over again.

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by being friends with my ex of 4 years

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0.35

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ic9s5/tifu_by_being_friends_with_my_ex_of_4_years/

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Xaxxus

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1676232630

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Today we were watching YouTube. We decided to watch a video of the cat island in Japan. One of the cats in the video meowed which caused my GFs cat to immediately look at the TV, and thus see another cat. It ran over and started meowing like crazy watching the cats on TV. I felt bad because it’s an indoor cat and doesn’t have any other cats around, so I switched to a bird video to entertain it. *meowing intensifies* After about 15 min of this we turned the TV off went to the dining table to eat dinner. As we were eating, the cat was standing in front of the blank TV, meowing and trying to get up onto the TV stand. Not sure if it wants us to turn it back on, or if it’s sad because it doesn’t have any cats to hang out with. Judging by the sound of the meows, it sounds like the later. TL;DR watched a cat video on YouTube. Now my GFs cat has an existential crisis/potential YouTube addiction. EDIT: I know we should get a second cat. There’s a few problems: 1. the cat is really old (15) not sure if that would stress him out in his old age. 2. the cat lives with my GFs mom. And she doesn’t want another cat. 3. our landlord doesn’t allow pets, so we can’t bring him to our place and get another cat. He is well loved and gets lots of attention though. I’m currently saving for a down payment so I can actually buy a place (hopefully by end of 2023). We might be able to get a second cat at that point.

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by causing my girlfriends cat to have existential crisis

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0.96

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10icbjx/tifu_by_causing_my_girlfriends_cat_to_have/

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1676232592

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In the last few months, I started fixing up my car little by little. I took it to the same dealership I got it from, about an hour away from my house, and had it tuned up there first, then took it to a body shop owned by a close family friend, and had the exterior fixed, the paint restored, the dents fixed, and got the car to look somewhat like new. The only thing left was the interior, and that is where I f’up. I for some reason, stubbornly wanted to use OEM parts for this personal project. I initially was going to buy the parts I needed from the very same dealership I got the car from, but the prices were a bit too high for me, so I went online and looked for the parts I needed. After some searching, I found a site where the parts are reasonably priced. The store is an auto parts center in the Carolinas, I live in the West Coast U.S., the shipping and handling plus taxes costed around $25, it was good enough for me, so I placed the order. After a week of waiting, the parts were delivered this afternoon. As I was unpacking them, inside the box was a shipping label, and to my surprise, the auto center I ordered the interior parts from, got the parts from a dealership 30 minutes from my house, literally in the same zip code. Basically the parts were procured from the west coast, put in a new box in the Carolinas, and then shipped back to the west coast all in the same week. I could’ve saved $25 in shipping, handling, and taxes if I had just looked around first, instead of going online immediately, and all because for some reason I can’t explain, I wanted OEM parts. TLDR: ordered some parts for my car, only to find out the parts came from a supplier 30 minutes from my house.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305544

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TIFU by ordering car parts from another state, only to find out that the parts came from a dealership/parts center 30 minutes from my house.

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0.92

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10idm8m/tifu_by_ordering_car_parts_from_another_state/

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1674372807

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1674373435.0

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2

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deleted

1676232580

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[deleted]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

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TIFU by binge drinking and taking antidepressants

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0.64

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MementoMori22

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1674375414

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t5_2to41

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TIFU by sneezing so hard I ended up in a hospital

None

0

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1.0

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iep5p/tifu_by_sneezing_so_hard_i_ended_up_in_a_hospital/

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MementoMori22

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1676232556

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Obligatory it happened last night but I’m still in the hospital. The past couple of days I’ve been feeling a little under the weather, nothing bad, but some pain in my head when I coughed or sneezed, I thought nothing of it. My boyfriend was away so I had the apartment to myself, and I had everything ready for a cozy night in to myself. Put on a movie, felt a sneeze coming… aaand BANG. My head felt like it exploded. Everything started spinning. It was so painful I couldn’t do anything but lay down and groan. Called my parents who quickly got there and took me to the ER. I vomited copious amounts and could barely speak. Couldn’t look at lights. They quickly did a ct scan of my head but couldn’t find anything. They say they can’t completely rule out a tiny bleeding in my bran so they’ll do a lumbar puncture. I’ve never had migraines, but it could be that too - but offset by a sneeze? For reference, I am 29F and otherwise healthy, but apparently so frail that a sneeze landed me in the hospital. FML TL;DR: I sneezed, my head felt like it exploded, and they had to check for brain hemorrhaging. Now I’m scared of sneezing. Update a few days later. Turns out it’s been a debilitating sinusitis, where I’ve been in constant excruciating headaches for days. I’ve only felt one worse pain in my life, so this was horrible. Looking a little better now. Thank you all for your well wishes and sharing your stories!

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t5_2to41

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18305543

public

None

TIFU by sneezing and ending up in the hospital

None

0

[]

0.97

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10iesxt/tifu_by_sneezing_and_ending_up_in_the_hospital/

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674386606

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False

0

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10ihj0w

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True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ihj0w

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ihj0w/tifu_by_making_a_dumb_joke/

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null

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deleted

1676232477

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

tifu by making a dumb joke

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

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1674386777

None

1674387049.0

0

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10ihkp2

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{}

False

t3_10ihkp2

True

27

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some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ihkp2/tifu_by_making_a_dumb_joke/

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null

7

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deleted

1676232476

2

None

{}

[deleted]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by making a dumb joke

None

0

[]

0.56

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674389186

None

False

0

False

10ii897

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ii897

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ii897/tifu_by_losing_my_new_job/

False

null

7

False

None

deleted

1676232457

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

tifu by losing my new job

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674390087

None

1674391848.0

0

False

10iih5k

False

True

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None

{}

False

t3_10iih5k

False

8

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some_ads

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null

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deleted

1676232449

18

None

{}

[deleted]

True

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

tifu by losing my new job

None

0

[]

0.72

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674390753

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0

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10iinzj

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t3_10iinzj

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1

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some_ads

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null

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None

deleted

1676232443

51

None

{}

[deleted]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by flying a drone during a wedding's speech

None

0

[]

0.87

null

None

some_ads

7

False

Either-Cell-5033

t2_vdugn5st

None

False

1674393906

None

self.tifu

False

0

False

10ijm5z

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ijm5z

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ijm5z/tifu_when_my_ex_left_his_phone_at_home/

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null

7

False

None

moderator

1676232415

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU when my ex left his phone at home

None

0

[]

1.0

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ijm5z/tifu_when_my_ex_left_his_phone_at_home/

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674394312

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0

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10ijqtm

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ijqtm

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ijqtm/tifu_didnt_show_up_to_an_important_course_related/

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null

7

False

None

deleted

1676232411

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU & didn’t show up to an important course related to my career just to sleep

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674394942

None

False

0

False

10ijxyz

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ijxyz

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ijxyz/tifu_didnt_show_up_to_an_important_course_related/

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null

7

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None

deleted

1676232405

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU & didn’t show up to an important course related to my career just to sleep

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

zamo97

t2_46qyj5jl

None

False

1674395224

None

self.tifu

False

0

False

10ik0zg

False

True

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ik0zg

False

4

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ik0zg/tifu_didnt_show_up_to_an_important_course_related/

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1676232403

2

None

{}

Context: it was a chance for me to have real life experience about situations I may face at work. I needed it to get ready for a job I am taking in 6 weeks (if God wills so). I did it with full consciousness, and now I feel worthless. I may not have a top-tier girlfriend. I feel the urge to indulge myself in junk food & porn. I have already been jobless for years, just studying during my university years. Now a new awful perception of myself is added to my thoughts. I knew all that & still did it. I gave up to the pain of sleeplessness & cold & returned to bed instead of doing the right thing for myself. I spent a lot of time confessing my sorrow about the consequences of my wrong choices & now I’ve added a big fat one. It’s now seated beside my mediocre GPA, with which I denied myself more decent job opportunities that may have elevated my status among my rich colleagues, especially the women of them. **TL;DR: I missed a huge career opportunity on purpose to sleep & I find it so hard to return back on track.**

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU & didn’t show up to an important course related to my career just to sleep

None

0

[]

0.57

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ik0zg/tifu_didnt_show_up_to_an_important_course_related/

null

None

some_ads

7

True

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RaphaelElDiablo

t2_30hfshpd

None

False

1674395937

None

self.tifu

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0

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10ik9d5

False

True

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ik9d5

False

335

1

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ik9d5/tifu_by_sending_a_poorly_thought_out_snap_and/

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null

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1676232395

1520

None

{}

I have know who I’ll call “Beth” for around 2 years now. I met her at school and we’ve just been friends. I tried to make moves early on but after getting shutdown we decided to keep it as just friends. Anyways, onto the story. Following the gym, I decide to head to Chick-fil-A and get some food with one of other friends “Jerry”. While I’m there I’ve been sending snaps to Beth. Nothing crazy just kind of fun, joking around type stuff. Until I send a goofy snap that of Jerry where I say “first date kinda nervous 👉🥺 👈” She responds, saying, “me and my date are just chilling.” She was with her dog. Apparently my brain decided to have a helmet fire because I responded with, “I think your date would be better off with me.” What I was trying to say was that I wanted her dog (I know, kinda dumb, but whatever). What I’m assuming she took that as is that we should be dating, which is not what I meant. After all of that, I have now been blocked on all socials and my number and I’m assuming that’s the end of that. Either she really cares about her dog or I’m just an idiot for not thinking of the double meaning behind what I said. I guess I should think more carefully about the implications of what I send💀 TL;DR: Told a girl who sent of snap of her dog saying “me and my date are just chilling” that “her date would be better off with me.” I wanted the dog, she did not see it that way.

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by sending a poorly thought out snap and ruining my friendship.

None

0

[]

0.89

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ik9d5/tifu_by_sending_a_poorly_thought_out_snap_and/

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674396510

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0

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10ikgqb

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True

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None

{}

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t3_10ikgqb

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1

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some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ikgqb/tifu_by_repeatedly_doing_things_my_gf_doesnt_like/

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null

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False

None

deleted

1676232389

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by repeatedly doing things my gf doesn't like.

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674397200

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False

0

False

10ikp7w

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ikp7w

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ikp7w/tifu_by_washing_down_there_with_dr_bronners_tea/

False

null

7

False

None

deleted

1676232382

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by washing down there with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674397739

None

False

0

False

10ikvy0

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ikvy0

True

1

0

True

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ikvy0/tifu_by_washing_my_hooha_with_dr_bronners_tea/

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null

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deleted

1676232377

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

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TIFU by washing my hooha with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

promo_adult_nsfw

3

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674397921

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0

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10ikych

False

True

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None

{}

False

t3_10ikych

True

1

0

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some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ikych/i_fucked_up_really_bad/

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null

7

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None

deleted

1676232374

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

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None

I fucked up really bad

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674398219

None

False

0

False

10il249

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10il249

True

1

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some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10il249/i_lied_and_tried_to_come_clean/

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deleted

1676232371

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

I lied and tried to come clean

None

0

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1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

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1674398309

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1674416597.0

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10il36b

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t3_10il36b

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11

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some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10il36b/tifu_by_repeatedly_doing_things_my_gf_doesnt_like/

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deleted

1676232370

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[deleted]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU by repeatedly doing things my gf doesn't like

None

0

[]

0.39

null

None

some_ads

7

False

SalamanderDue3131

t2_vnn9er4k

None

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1674398322

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self.tifu

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0

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10il3bm

False

True

False

True

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None

{}

False

t3_10il3bm

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8

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some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10il3bm/tifu_when_i_lied_and_tried_to_come_clean/

False

null

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None

1676232370

0

None

{}

TIFU when I revealed a lie I had been hiding. My roommate is my ex and we were still doing okay, we were very ‘friendly’ with each other and things were fine. But I exposed a lie I had been hiding for what seemed like a few months and according to them turned out to be 9 months! What I lied about: I had continuously fabricated that 1 of my ex-friends were 2 separate people because I had agreed to cut them off because we both felt that they were treating me like a doormat. Nonetheless I didn’t, and I lied about them being 2 separate people. I realize that when they asked questions I would answer them trying to stray away from the fact that they were the same person, but I still continued to lie. I lied about hanging out with them, I didn’t tell them that they came with me to my hometown because I couldn’t afford to go by myself and my grandma was ailing and it was also my mothers birthday. I told them that I lied and they were actually the same person and I had lied because I was scared they would leave (we both have BPD). They took a picture from the exfriends social media and I told them the truth that I took them with me when I went and this is the only lie I’ve told since our early relationship but I told them I didn’t want to lie to them anymore because they didn’t deserve to be lied to. Out side of this I have told them the truth and nothing but the truth, and any questions they have about the situation I also tell the truth. They understandably were extremely upset but I hoped that when I told them I would be able to explain myself and it wouldn’t have gone as bad as it did. They accuse me of either having a relationship, s.x, or leading them on; none of which are true because when I first met them I made it absolutely clear that I only wanted friends because I was working on myself and I refused to even entertain the thought of it and it was never going to happen and I have proof to support that. They also went through my phone and I allowed them to, they took screenshots of whatever they could find and every question about everything I’ve answered honestly. It also became apparent that my exfriend was posting about me on twitter calling me things like their boo which I later grilled exfriend on and told them that this wasn’t okay at all and I want going to reciprocate those feelings. They told me if I had any sense of character left I would cut off exfriend, and I did. I let them know I’ll only be showing up to work until I find a different job, but outside of that that it was best for the exfriend to be away from me otherwise I would probably fuck up their life too. I tried giving them space and we finally had a normal conversation, but I know they are completely heart broken and want me out of the house and out of their sight. I agreed and I told them they could keep the apartment and that I would find somewhere to move to and they later decided they were going to move too. I don’t know how to fix this, I knew they were undoubtedly doing to be upset but I didn’t think it would ballon like this. I’ve tried apologizing and I’ve never told a lie this big and I feel awful about it and agree that it was irrational and stupid for me to lie about in the first place. They are staying at a hotel for the night I believe and have made it clear they don’t want me in the house when they’re not home too and I agreed that I wouldn’t be there without them. I need unbiased help on what tf to do, I’m absolutely shattered but I know that this is my fault entirely. TL;DR I lied about being friends with someone me and my roommate agreed I should cut off, lied about them being 2 different people; and finally came clean about it telling them the complete truth.

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU when I lied and tried to come clean

None

0

[]

0.41

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10il3bm/tifu_when_i_lied_and_tried_to_come_clean/

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674398461

None

False

0

False

10il52x

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10il52x

True

1

0

True

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10il52x/tifu_by_washing_my_hooha_with_dr_bronners_tea/

False

null

7

False

None

deleted

1676232368

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU by washing my hooha with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

promo_adult_nsfw

3

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674398526

None

False

0

False

10il5wh

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10il5wh

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10il5wh/tifu_by_complimenting_my_colleague/

False

null

7

False

None

deleted

1676232368

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU by complimenting my colleague

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

True

False

aquakitty99

t2_vhvo3804

None

False

1674398705

None

self.tifu

False

0

False

10il81x

False

True

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10il81x

False

164

0

True

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10il81x/tifu_by_washing_my_hooha_with_dr_bronners_tea/

False

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7

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1676232366

342

None

{}

I (25 F) shaved my vagina and butthole a few days ago. It gave me razor bumps, ingrown hairs, and maybe some acne. Today I royally fucked up by washing my area down there with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap. Tea Tree is supposed to be antibacterial so it sounded like a good idea at first. I thought it would help the situation down there, instead I gave myself a chemical burn at my perineum. It hurts so bad. Maybe I used too much or washed too aggressively. It burns while doing nothing. It burns even more when I pee. I put some vaseline on the area and it feels ok for now, but OH MY GOD I’LL NEVER USE DR. BRONNER’S DOWN THERE AGAIN. No sexy time for a little while, I hope it heals soon so I can have s3x again. Grrr. Lesson learned. Never again. Today I really fucked up. TL;DR Today I fucked up washing down there with Dr. Bronner’s and it gave me a chemical burn

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU by washing my hooha with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap giving myself a chemical burn

None

0

[]

0.87

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10il81x/tifu_by_washing_my_hooha_with_dr_bronners_tea/

null

None

promo_adult_nsfw

3

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674399039

None

1674399509.0

0

False

10ilc5o

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10ilc5o

True

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10ilc5o/tifu_by_complimenting_my_colleague/

False

null

7

False

None

deleted

1676232362

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU by complimenting my colleague

None

0

[]

0.99

null

None

some_ads

7

True

False

forzov3rwatch

t2_co3n3ca

None

False

1674401270

None

self.tifu

False

0

False

10im5ff

False

True

False

True

False

True

None

{}

False

t3_10im5ff

False

26

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10im5ff/tifu_by_leaving_my_phone_in_an_uber/

False

null

7

False

None

1676232337

263

None

{}

Oh gods, where do I start with this one. So, this happened yesterday. Within the last 24 hours. But the reason I’m telling it now is because it’s only finally resolved and I have my phone back. For context, what made this so bad was, I wasn’t just like. In the city. I took a rideshare to a regional park that’s on a highway that leads up to a ski resort (Galena Creek up towards Mount Rose, iykyk) I get up there with snowshoes and my poles and my backpack full of snacks and water ready to go for my first solo hike, and… panic sets in once I check my pockets to get navigating myself. My phone is gone. And it wasn’t in the snow and it just fell out of my pocket. Nope, back seat of an Uber who had definitely gone by now and I had no way of getting that phone back myself. Where it gets real bad, was resolving the situation. Because I didn’t have a car, and I didn’t have a phone to contact anyone, and I haven’t memorized the numbers of anyone local so I couldn’t call anyone. So I had to snowshoe about a mile, up the highway, falling hard on ice and asphalt at least once, before I could hitch a ride with someone. The undercurrent to all this was that I couldn’t log into anything. Because what do you use for 2FA? Your phone. Which made getting in touch with Uber support 10x harder even though they have a dedicated line for people who can’t log in because they lost their phone. Overall, 5/5 for the driver, 1/5 for the everything else. TL;DR: lost my phone, had to endure a digital lockout and had to do one of the worst hikes ever.

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

None

TIFU by leaving my phone in an Uber

None

0

[]

0.92

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10im5ff/tifu_by_leaving_my_phone_in_an_uber/

null

None

some_ads

7

False

[deleted]

null

None

False

1674403850

None

False

0

False

10in52f

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10in52f

True

1

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10in52f/tifu_by_being_a_disgusting_lying_piece_of_shit/

False

null

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False

None

deleted

1676232306

1

None

{}

[removed]

True

False

t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by being a disgusting lying piece of shit

None

0

[]

1.0

null

None

some_ads

7

False

Mouseries9438

t2_avevty16

None

False

1674405625

None

self.tifu

False

0

False

10inude

False

True

False

True

False

None

{}

False

t3_10inude

False

4

0

False

some_ads

/r/tifu/comments/10inude/tifu_by_eating_my_old_favorite_noodles/

False

null

7

False

None

1676232285

3

None

{}

So basically, I have some sort of sensitivity to ginger. I get ridiculously sick to my stomach any time I eat something with ginger as an ingredient, so I've avoided it for years. I love the flavour it gives dishes though, so I used to eat it a lot until I figured out what it was doing to me. On to the FU, my husband remembered my favorite flavour of noodles from when we were dating and got them for me. I, of course, devoured them like they were the first food I'd had in weeks. I found ginger powder in the ingredients after eating while I was taking notes to try to make a copycat recipe. I didn't realize just how bad it would get, thought I'd just throw up a couple times and be fine. After the kids went to sleep, it started. The sharp pain that felt like my guts twisting around a knife. I thought, maybe gas pains, and waited it out. By the time midnight came around I was curled up in the fetal position crying, shaking, sweating, and I couldn't move because of the pain. Way worse than any of my childrens' births. Eventually it started to fade and I figure it was probably the ginger in the noodles that caused it, it's noon the next day now and I'm still a little sore but it hasn't come back bad like that again, so hopefully that was it. I'm never eating without checking the ingredients again. TL;DR Ginger sensitivity and unknown ginger in food caused the worst gastro pain of my life, will never eat my favorite foods again

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305543

public

None

TIFU by eating my old favorite noodles

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0.8

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10inude/tifu_by_eating_my_old_favorite_noodles/

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feuud

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1676232257

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So today I was chatting with this girl who is also my best friend, on Instagram. She had recently gone through a breakup and we were discussing about that. Also we were discussing about general things happening to us in our day to day lives. She then proceeds to tell me about the workouts and all the physical exercises she had done to look good for her partner. So she asks if I wanted to see the pics of her body redevelopment. I agreed. She then sent her photos in one view in the Instagram app. At that moment something passed my mind and I screenshot the images (they were photos of her in her sports gear, which was very revealing). She asked me about the screenshots, a they showed up in her chat. I was fucked, I apologised, I cried and told her that I was going to show this to her ex and tell him what he lost. She was okay in the chat, and told me not to send the images to him. But I feel a ton of guilt in my mind about the thing I did today. I asked her if this would ruin our friendship, she then replied that this is okay, nothing sort of serious. Now I don't know how I would be able to talk to her and speak to her in the eyes. If you guys have any tips, please feel free to suggest some. It will be of great help. TL;DR

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU as I am on the brink of ruining a very good and a beautiful friendship.

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0.41

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ioq0z/tifu_as_i_am_on_the_brink_of_ruining_a_very_good/

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Typical_Ad_210

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1676232257

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Shitting has always been an issue for me. No matter what anti-constipation measures I take, I still find myself straining and panting like a woman in labour, as I birth my chocolate log. At boarding school we were expected to shit on schedule, every morning after breakfast. Of course we had the ubiquitous school tracing paper to rip up/wipe our arseholes. Personally I feel that timetabled turds is a ridiculous expectation for *anyone*, let alone the chronically constipated, but still I was ushered into a cubicle and told to drop the proverbial kids off at the pool. A spoonful of vile cod liver oil awaited anyone who failed to perform, so naturally I lied and said I had indeed “had passage”, as matron made us call it. The fetid stench of 19 other prepubescent boys defecating covered up my own shitty shortcomings. A cacophony of plopping, farting and flushing was the soundtrack that kicked off our day and helped me conceal my lie. In the evening I would go to the toilet and try to squeeze one out (not in the good way). After an hour of straining and grunting, I would manage to “have passage” about one day in every three. I’m now 45 and every third day remains my current success rate. I generally spend around an hour at a time on the throne. Ordinarily I will shift my weight from side to side every few minutes, to keep the blood flowing. A few times I have stood up then immediately decked it like the queen’s guard on a hot day. Shifting around on the seat periodically keeps these incidents rare, and normally I am vigilant in following my pooping protocol. Today, however, I was too engrossed in my Suguru puzzles to remember to shift my arse every few minutes. Instead I spent an hour stock still, legs pressed against the toilet seat, a lack of blood flow making my legs into little more than hairy pool noodles. I stood up to flush the toilet and immediately wobbled around uselessly. My legs were completely numb. They really didn’t feel they were part of my body, it was surreal. Just like many a horny teen, pre-masturbatorily compressing his own hand for a more luxurious anonymous wank, I too had given myself a “stranger”, albeit accidentally. I flailed about, numbly taking some tentative steps, like a newborn giraffe. Almost immediately, I started to fall, my limp spaghetti legs had clearly had enough. As I fell, I whacked the side of my leg against the bath, somehow knocking the kneecap out of place in a sharp agonising pop. My wife ran in to find a pathetic crumpled heap of a husband on the floor. Trousers and pants round his ankles, cock bobbing up and down with each pained sob, hairy legs splayed out at unflattering angles. Noxious odour filling the room. Worst of all, what she would later describe as “wads of toilet paper atop a mountain of turd” was still clearly visible in the porcelain crime scene. If she questioned her vows at that moment, I don’t blame her. Thankfully she was able to help me manipulate the kneecap back into place, so no medical professionals would be subjected to the sensory smorgasbord of my bathroom at that moment. My kids were not so lucky, running in shortly after their mother. Thankfully they found it all absolutely hilarious, even squabbling over who got to flush the pan (though as usual it took 4 or 5 flushes to shift the brown behemoth anyway). I have no doubt they will delight in relaying the entire story in excruciating detail to everyone they’ve ever met. Luckily I have no dignity left to lose. Right now I am icing my knee, which is still throbbing. I am feeling sorry for myself, even though I’m so lucky to have an amazing spouse who insists she still finds me attractive, despite recent events. At least I “had passage” before I kneecapped myself. I get a three day rest before my next intestinal stirring. TL;DR - legs fell asleep on bog, kneecap paid the price.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU - shat for so long that I dislocated my knee

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1

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0.94

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ioq70/tifu_shat_for_so_long_that_i_dislocated_my_knee/

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ForAnythingElse

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1674408484

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My husband and I aren't from a relatively small town. We planned a fun night out in the neighboring city including going to a bar and a nice dinner. I ended up getting absolutely smashed. At the end of Dinner we decided to stop into the sex shop further down the road. We have been talking about getting some toys to explore/expand some parts of our relationship and this seemed like the perfect time to buy them since our town doesn't have a sex shop. So we are having a an absolute blast shopping around. We find a couple of toys that we're both really excited to try out. Even as hammered as I am I realize we're going to need lube so I go to the lube section and pick one out. We go to the register and make our purchases. We didn't go straight home. We ended up meeting up with some friends at another bar for a night cap I regretted having the next morning. I passed out when I got home and woke up still a little drunk the next morning. I'm a big old horndog when I'm drunk or hungover so when my husband suggested we try out the new toys I was 100% on board since I was a little of both. He gets out the lube and starts getting everything prepped. In it goes and I am really excited. He's admiring my bedazzled back door and asks if I'm okay. The size felt fine but it seemed really really cold. Which seemed really odd because I watched him warm it up. I'm trying my best to breathe through it. I am a bit of a masochist so I'm trying to stay positive by thinking a little discomfort might make things fun. It keeps getting worse and now I feel like it's so cold it's burning. I can't deal with it anymore and I'm starting to worry that maybe my asshole has been torn apart and that's why it's burning. I tell my husband and he gently pulls it out and asks if it might be the lube which he shows me. Y'all... I bought some strawberry flavored heat lube. I'm sure I got flavored on purpose all drunk since my husband likes to eat out and I was thinking that would be nice for him but I completely missed the heat part. I went and took a shower and got everything washed out. I was grateful I wasn't going to have to go to the hospital for a sex mishap but I learned an important lesson. Don't buy lube when you are so drunk you have to close one eye to read. You might skip over important words. I'm also wondering if edible lube is safe for back door play. I think I'll stick to normal lube in the future. Tl;Dr got too drunk and excited about new toys I grabbed "heat" lube and burned my asshole.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305542

public

None

TIFU by shopping for sex toys while I was hammered

None

0

[]

0.86

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ioz9a/tifu_by_shopping_for_sex_toys_while_i_was_hammered/

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[deleted]

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1674412642

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1674445059.0

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[deleted]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

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TIFU by attending my friends "adult" dinner party.

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0.88

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[deleted]

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1674412910

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deleted

1676232190

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305541

public

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TIFU by basically implying evolution is fake

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0

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1.0

null

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