Datasets:

HuggingFaceGECLM

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REDDIT_submissions

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TIFU by pointlessly protecting someone who sexually assaulted me for years.

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tifu by sending a snapchat bot a dick pick

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tifu by sending a snapchat bot a dick pick

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

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TIFU by accidentally comparing a baby to a dog

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305500

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TIFU by accidentally making a border patrol officer think I called him a liar.

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TIFU by comparing a baby to a dog

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It happened yesterday. My wife and I live in Vancouver and decided to make a day trip to the US for some brunch and Trader Joe's. On our way back, we wanted to stop by the Peace Arch Park and do the very tourist-y thing of jumping back and forth the border and taking dumb pictures. As this was our first time at the park, we asked a patrol officer how it worked if we don't have a paid Park Pass. He told me to go to the end of the parking lot where there are a few 15-minute free parking spots for visitors just passing by. For some reason, I didn't go to the end and thought I could just park anywhere for 15 minutes. As we both get off the car and walked toward the end of the parking lot, I could finally see the spots with the 15-minute markings so I do the routine thing of going back alone to my car to move it into the proper spot. I then caught up to my wife who had already made it halfway to the Peace Arch. After basking in the glory of Peace and Freedom and everything afforded to us between our brotherly countries, we make our way back to my car. As I was prepared to leave, this rather rude officer (not the first one we spoke to) knocked on my window and almost yelled at me, asking me why I was running alone after a woman in the park, but now we are leaving together. At first, this doesn't register as something I did because I was trying to figure out in my little brain if this really just happened. So I told him: "No, I didn't run... what are you talking about?" He repeats that he saw me and that I wasn't being truthful. I repeated again that I wasn't sure what he was talking about until my wife reminded me that I did run after her after parking the car in the 15-minute spot. At that point, I was being asked for identification for what I guess is "lying to a border patrol officer" when it was a mistake so routine it never dawned on me that I was being scrutinized this way. I then explain to him exactly why I ran after her after parking the car "alone" and that we are now leaving together. After going through our passports, he gave them back and "thanked me for calling him a liar". I swear, it was unintentional. I may now be on a list of people banned from entering the US as a result. If any border patrol officer is in this TIFU subreddit, tell me what I did wrong! TL;DR: I unintentionally called a border patrol officer a liar because I didn't remember that I ran after my wife after parking my car at Peace Arch Park.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305500

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TIFU by accidentally making a border patrol officer think I called him a liar.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10pm4pw/tifu_by_accidentally_making_a_border_patrol/

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deleted

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305502

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TIFU by asking my dad for McDonald’s his told me he’d get me

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0.61

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

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TIFU by over feeding my dog 5 meals & now he is too stuffed to move and enjoying just sleeping it off!

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zachtheperson

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[removed]

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305503

public

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TIFU by getting distracted an basically making the pasta equivalent of oatmeal.

None

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1.0

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ReadingIntrovert

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1676224623

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Note: New account so no one in my life (who knows I use Reddit) knows about this So I (M22) am in a 1-2 year relationship with my gf (F20). She is one of the cutest and sweetest people I've ever known, and I am very lucky to have her in my life. Roughly a couple of months ago, she opened up to me about being into domestic discipline. She told me she really likes spanking and would really want to incorporate punishing her into the relationship. Now, honestly, this turned me on and I thought this would spice things up in our relationship. Not to mention that she lately has been doing a bunch of reckless and irresponsible things lately (she mentioned that she did these things so I have reasons to spank her). So, both reluctantly and excitedly, I agreed to start spanking her for things she's done wrong. So these past few months, I started spanking her. Most of the things I spank her for include her being late, lazy to the point of disrupting her priorities, attitude, etc. Most of her 'punishment' sessions were bending her over a table or something and spanking her with clothes on. Because I didn't want to really hurt her, I went easy and made sure I at least got her to feel it. Like I only spanked her until I knew her butt was pretty uncomfortable. Overtime, her punishments escalated. I started hitting harder and started pulling her pants down or lifting her skirt up. The more I did this, the more pain she felt. She was really okay with it and even thanked me for improving her behavior. Our relationship was pretty good. Things were going pretty well (her behavior was improving) until today. Earlier today, while I was at work, she told me she was guilty because she almost set our apartment on fire. She was playing with fire or something and it got out of hand. She managed to put it out and all that, but I made it clear that she was gonna get spanked. She even said, probably out of guilt or shame or something, that I should go hard on her. She told me that I shouldn't hold back, which was what I was going to do. I mean, a huge accident could have happened. I grabbed a hairbrush and a wooden spoon and bent her across my knee. I pulled her skirt up and panties down and started spanking her with the hairbrush. Eventually she was crying and kicking and all that stuff (which I thought was normal). It came to the point where I was using the spoon on her and her butt was bruised badly and she was bawling uncontrollably, begging me to stop. I stopped as she started begging and helped her up. She pulled up her underwear and, without a word, left the apartment. I feel extremely bad and felt like I went too far. I feel like I just ruined my relationship because I didn't know where her limits were. She also never gave or used a safeword because she said she would never need one. I got in contact with her earlier today and she said it was okay. She said she deserved it and I shouldn't feel bad. But I just feel like it isn't alright. I don't know what to do. TL;DR: gf wanted to get punishment spankings and our last spanking session hurt her too much. She said it's fine but I don't think it is.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305503

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TIFU by spanking my gf

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10pnbco/tifu_by_spanking_my_gf/

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FeedTheWrongWolf

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Tifu by calling my kid a cum pet

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1676224607

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For context, I (M21) grew up in a friend group that was formed way before I was even born, with this I mean the parents of my friends and my parents were very close friends and most of our grandparents too. So this means my friends and I attended the same daycare, school and whatnot, but unlike our parents, when it was time to go to college 7/10 of us decided to move from our hometown. Right now we're all in vacation so we returned home and I brought my girlfriend Sara (20F) with me so she could meet my friends and my family. Last friday we all hung out and had a really great time. Sara really liked my friends and they liked her too so I was very happy with how everything was going. Now, what I'm about to tell you will probably make me look like an AH that deserves the worst but please, try to put yourself in my shoes before judging me. Me and my friends have this habit of texting each other as if we are in a relationship. For example: A: Babe, when will you come? I miss u so much :( B: Babyyyy, I'll be there next week! Let's hang out pleaseeee, I can't wait to see you <3 Why do we do that? well, i honestly can't remember but we think it's funny. We do this with the boys and the girls in our group so personally, I never thought it was a big deal until today. Two weeks ago I had a similar conversation with my friend Lila (21F) as the example I wrote above. We rarely text each other but i really wanted to know if she was gonna be here so we all could hang out with Sara. Well, today Sara decided to go through my phone while I was taking a shower and she saw those messages. When I got out she was livid, she told me that she was gonna leave in that moment and that I was the biggest POS ever. I tried to explain to her that my friends and I are used to text like that and that i was definetly not cheating on her with Lila (even thinking something like that makes me nauseous, I mean, she's like my sister). I showed her the messages with my male friends so she could see that it wasn't something I did only with Lila but she didn't believe me, so I told her what could I do for her to believe me. She told me that I had to send Lila a message telling her to fuck off and proceed to block her from all my social media. I was stunned, I mean, I know Lila since I was born and now I had to do something like that? I tried talking to Sara but she started packing her bags while crying, so I accepted her request. Lila texted one of our other friends and told him to tell me that she knows that my GF probably saw our chat and that she hopes Sara can understand the context behind those messages. She even offered to explain it to Sara herself but i don't think she will want to listen. I mean, I understand why Sara feels that way and for the first time ever I see that my group's way of texting may not be as harmless as we thought. Sorry for any misspellings and mistakes I made, English is not my first language. Also, this is a throwaway and the names are changed for obvious reasons lol. **TL;DR:** TIFU by texting my childhood friend (Lila) as I'd text my girlfriend. My actual GF (Sara) saw those messages and made me block Lila from all my social media, which can potentially mean that my friendship with Lila is over.

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305503

public

None

TIFU by texting my friend how I normally would

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0.54

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10pnw12/tifu_by_texting_my_friend_how_i_normally_would/

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FeedTheWrongWolf

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10pnwe9

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1676224607

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He's 13 and very smart and mature for his age and I'm a young parent. He's honestly my best friend. Anyway.... I have some bad adhd. Here's how it happened. The kid was messing with me and I started to say "awe come on" I stuttered and stopped and he said "Were you gonna call me the c word?" "What c word? Cunt?" "No dad the other one." "Cum?" "No c-o-c-k." " Oh, cock." I said and laughed to myself aloud "Why did I say cum?" "idk, why did you say that?" This is where the add comes in. It just started coming out of my mouth "Because, you're a.... Nope. Nope. Nope." I stopped myself initially, sometimes things start to come out and I stop myself. Everyone always insists that I finish. People even tend to get upset if I don't. Even when I assure them that it's something that should never be said and it was just an impulse. That I was right to fight it down and that I'm trying to be a good person. The kid badgered me until finally I said it. "Because you're a cum pet! There ya happy ya little jizz goblin?!"...... Now he's mad that I would call him something so hurtful..... Bro... I didn't want to say it.... Sorry bout the 'jizz goblin' thing. Tldr: it just kinda slipped out I called my 13 yr old kid a cum pet to his face.

True

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

18305503

public

None

Tifu by calling my kid a cum pet.

None

0

[]

0.32

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10pnwe9/tifu_by_calling_my_kid_a_cum_pet/

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some_ads

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[deleted]

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10po3jc

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53

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deleted

1676224602

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t5_2to41

r/tifu

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TIFU by ripping my pants in the mall and accidentally flashing some kids

None

0

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0.93

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Celeste_56

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10poh61

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t3_10poh61

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First of all I’m going to say that English isn’t my native language so excuse me for the mistakes My best friend (F15ish) and me (M15ish) had a beautiful relationship fyi we weren’t dating; at the beginning when I started talking to her I told her that I wanted nothing with her and we were just friends, and we agreed since one of my closest friends since kindergarden told me that he liked her since he told me I respected the bro code and even told him that I had nothing with her and assured him that everything was just friends, and we both keep it that way. In a way we were so close, I told her about my depression and about my SH issues and that I was having trouble with my sexuality, she also told me that she was bi, her depression and much other stuff that I don’t remember, after 1 year we were still so close and even told me that she loved someone; I ask who, and at first she was shy but eventually as we were so close she told me; here is where the problem started I was a little bit jealous, she started to responding me less and less, even weeks passed when she didn’t even say a world to me at first I understood, but eventually I got more and more jealous. Then I confronted her, she told me that she was occupied since at these time we were in high school and she was in a very demanding and private one, I started thinking and I don’t know that happened but I realized that something should have happened since I also was in a very similar highshcool I even would say in a harder one and I still even had time to talk to her, I was thinking that maybe I was too much for her, that maybe I wasn’t worthy to her and that I was a trouble for her, eventually I did nothing but still the thought was still in my head. Timed passed and we talked less and less she obviously had no problem with this but me I struggle I didn’t want to lose her but the fact that she didn’t answered my text made me want to talk to her less and less, even one time I didn’t sent her a single message for 1 week and she said nothing eventualy even she talked to me like nothing ever happened, I was furious and confronted her told her that she didn’t answered me and that it made me feel that I didn’t matter, then she told me that I wasn’t everything in her life and she had other things to do. At the end I told her that it was fine but that I wanted a response for my messages; if it passed 2 or 3 days it was fine but weeks it didn’t seem reasonable for me nor believable that she was that occupied, she told me that it was fine. Weeks passed, and we weren’t in good terms I didn’t talk too much to her since she change nothing, at the end I stopped sending her messages and give up until it was my birthday, she send me a long message were she told me that I was very important to her and that she loved me as a friend, I got furious again not because of the message but because she didn’t answered any of my messages before that and that It didn’t seem like I was valuable to her. It passed 2 o 3 days, and I didn’t even bother responding to her since I didn’t care, but in the reality I did, at the fourth day or something like that she told me that why didn’t I respond to her and that that made her feel that I didn’t care for her, I obviously got very angry and told her that that is the way that she made me feel, she told me that she again wasn’t everything in her life, at the end we compromise and that we both will make efforts for each other, but as you can guess form this text that didn’t happened, she didn’t change she was still answering and that made me very angry, at the end I told her that I wanted her to answer, her response was still that I wasn’t everything in her life and that if I couldn’t understand that we shouldn’t be best friends, so I just blocked her. This obviously is an acc that she doesn’t know about, nor she uses reddit, how ever if you can in some day see this someday Dania, I’m so sorry, my jealousness made me take those decisions that I regret so much, we were something and even the last something that I got with someone regret so much the day that I told her to respond to my messages. As a side note we reconcile last year and we still talk sometimes but it will never be the same, I asked her about her boyfriend and she didn’t answer, I didn’t care since I had other things to do but at the 2 day mark she responded me that she had other things to do and she couldn’t respond to me, I will have to note that she warned me and told me that the only people that she responded fast was to her boyfriend and to her mom, i told her that it was right and that whenever she had a chance we could talk. As another side note this happened a lot of time ago, I’m now 20 atm so idk exactly how she responded nor how I did but you get the general idea. TL;DR my best friend took too much time to answer my messages, so I got angry and made the worst decision of my life by cutting all messages with her

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t5_2to41

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18305503

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TIFU by getting angry for nothing at my best friend.

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0.38

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10poh61/tifu_by_getting_angry_for_nothing_at_my_best/

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So recently I enrolled in an English class. English is not my native language but I'm proficient and I love speaking in English. The the placement interview went really good, the interviewer was very friendly, perhaps a little too much. So far so good, I wanted to make new friends to speak with so mission acomplished. Fast forward to today, about a month after the interview. I went to the front desk to claim my student ID since the place has three-roller gates, just as the ones found in the metro or train and it's annoying to ask the guards to let you in since they have to take your details every time. I'm here doing my thing, waiting for the guy at the front desk to find my ID. Right next to me there's this cute girl and I notice she's been assigned classroom 706, same as mine! I quickly turned and asked her in spanish if she was enrolled in the advanced class I'm taking. She answered she enrolled in second level, as she doesn't know that much English. I turned back to the guy looking for my ID. I'm shy like that. She then continues the conversation in spanish and keeps asking me questions and we keep talking for like 1 minute until.. low and behold, comes the interviewer from the back office and comes close to say hi to me. We start talking in English, like full on conversation, my accent is better than the interviewer so I kinda took advantage to show off a little, without actually making an effort. It just ocurred naturally. I felt bad for cutting the conversation I was having with her so abruptly, but I felt it'd be more rude to stop the guy... anyway. The girl finished her enrollement and went on her way, stopped before leaving, asked me for my name, told me her name is Cindy and said "I hope we see each other again, soon" with a nice big smile. The kind of flirty "I want to get to know you better" smile. I said goodbye to the guy and he went his way. I finished my diligence at the front desk a moment later and rushed behind Cindy to ask for her number or maybe grab a cup of coffe since there was still about 1hr until classes started but couldn't find her. Her classes are on Tuesday and Thursday and mine are on Monday and Wednesday so not likely to run into each other again. Mind you, it's a big building with lots of students, while possible, it's unlikely I can run into her even if I went on a tuesday or thurday. ​ TL;DR: Met a cute girl at a language center, she showed interest in me. A newly made friend came up to me to say hello and made me cut off conversation with the cute girl, she then said goodbye and told me her name, followed by "I hope I see you again soon" but we don't have the same schedule so it's unlikely we will meet again, also there are many students and the building is rather big.

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TIFU by talking to a new friend.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10potwg/tifu_by_talking_to_a_new_friend/

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TIFU By accidentally leaving me and my sisters cash out in the open

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TIFU by committing identity fraud online

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TIFU by committing identity fraud online.

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Disclaimer: I am fully aware that my miscalculations were incredibly foolish. This sequence of mistakes begins with me choosing to flick the bean midday, which was obviously already a questionable choice. In any case, I finished rather hastily without any complications, and began cleanup as per usual. Almost immediately after coming down, I realized that I had a violent need to piss, because I hadn't bothered to before I began clitar hero. Toys in hand, I scurried into the bathroom to drop them in the sink and sit on the toilet. Only, my dumbass decided to have a shit grip on them and I dropped my prized 6-inch silicone pleasure rod into the bowl. Whatever, I thought, I only need to piss, so I'll grab it while the toilet is flushing, so I get minimal toilet water on my hands - and this is where the worst of my mistakes began. For some reason, I made the assumption that the little guy wasn't small enough to fit down the tube, and oh, sweet god, was I so wrong. The way that I stood up and flushed only to blankly watch that thing *schwoop* down the tube was the beginning of my downfall. That motherfucker was *gone,* dude. The water bubbled and gurgled a bit, a sure signal that my Spencer's blue-clear gradient dildo had clogged the toilet. I stood there for a second, still pretty calm, like, "oh shit, I'll go get a rubber glove and just pull it out," except when I stuck my hand down yonder, *I couldn't feel a thing*. After that, my situation really began to set in. Despite the bathroom being mostly my own, as a child in a family of five, someone was bound to come down to use my toilet at least once. And I had clogged it with a *dildo*. With there being no toilet paper floaties or weird particles, someone would get suspicious at some point. So, naturally, I began to freak out. I spent the next hour scouring the ol' Google for something, *anything,* that would help my case. I stooped so low as to google the exact phrase "I flushed my dildo down the toilet help" and I actually did come across a similar (reddit, of course) situation, but it had no advice for my own. Essentially, the only options I came down to having was A) a drain snake and B) completely removing the toilet from the floor altogether. I tried to get that mf out with a drain snake and had no success. With growing panic, I weighed out my choices for plan B. I could either ask my dad for assistance because I've actually never dealt with toilet mechanics before, or I could disassemble my toilet myself, and by GOD I was not about to explain my situation to my highly strict and religious anti-sex father. I don't believe in a God, but my circumstances had me telling him I'd never even jerk off again as long as I could get the stupid toy out and unclog my toilet. After much finagling and girlbossing, I actually got my toilet taken apart just fine. In fact, it was shockingly easy. In any case, I dislodged the sad little dildo from the bottom of the pipe and chucked it in my shower while I reassembled my dumb toilet. Suffice it all to say everything is fine and dandy now. If I were to give you any advice, don't assume your dildo can't fit down a toilet. ​ tldr; i flushed a dildo down the toilet, thus clogging it and sending me into an existential panic. edit: thank you to those who are laughing with me. please refrain from telling me to get a new seal, i already did.

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tifu by thinking that six inches would not fit down the toilet

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TIFU by hooking up with a smoker

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I guess I will begin this post. I’m a 16 year old boy. My dad is 37. My dad, never graduated high school, he lived in a bad neighborhood and got in with a bad crowd. He would then spend a few years in prison. At twenty one, my dad had me with my mom. My dad told me my mom abandoned me, when I tried reaching out to her (he advised me not to) she blocked me on Facebook. At twenty-one, my dad had inherited his parents trailer and a bit of their land so we had a place to stay. Our trailer isn’t a lot, but it’s our home. My dad, due to his criminal record, has to work for a construction company. He’s tried to climb up the ladder in the past years but his criminal record and lack of education stopped him from doing so. I begged him to allow me to get a job but he got angry at me saying he wasn’t gonna have his own child providing for him. My dad regrets his past, but he’s always told me he can’t change it. He’s been the best dad in the world, and I appreciate him so much. He never got into another relationship to take care of me. A part of me feels guilty because he stopped his entire life for me. My dad doesn’t make much money, we have a lot of bills and he has some debts so we don’t have much wiggle room. Last time I got brand new clothes was on my fifteenth birthday. My dad took me shopping at Walmart with his stimulus check. I got a bunch of clothes. However, I guess you could call me a late bloomer and I outgrew most of them. (Mainly the shirts because my shoulders broadened out and it began hurting and stretching my clothes) (I tried stealing some from the lost and found but none fit me) When my dad got home, he made dinner and while we were eating and watching tv I asked him if we could buy a new sweatshirt or two. He gets this really saddened look on his face, to sum up the conversation, he explained that we really didn’t have the money, and how we needed food. and he’d start putting aside some for a few months from now. I got glum and disappointed and went to my room. I don’t blame my father for any of our troubles, he’s a great dad. I’m just frustrated at the situation. That’s when I peaked my head out of my head room. My father was crying. I wanted to approach him and give him a hug but I’ve never been good with emotions that much. I’ve barely seen my father cry. I just went back to sleep. My father had been hellbent on me staying in high school, and I’m a good student, I get mainly A’s, and I intend to go to college. Tomorrow I’m gonna write my dad a note and leave it to him before I go to school. I’m still deciding what I’m gonna say cause I’m still crying a little, but here’s the jist. Hey dad, I just wanna thank you for everything you’ve done for me and all the sacrifices you made. I promise when I’m making a lot of money after college, we’ll get out of this trailer, and move into a big house. You can have all the Xbox games you want and finally have the childhood that was taken from you. I understand that everything you’ve done was to give me the things you never had and I’m eternally grateful. Thank you for everything. I love you dad. Edit 1: I can’t send messages due to the new account but just know I was trying to send everyone a Heart message and a thank you for the advice. The app says I’m not accepting dms bc a glitch. But for everyone who is giving advice I am reading ❤️ Edit 2: I will update, and I don’t think I’m gonna post a Amazon wishlist, it means a lot everyone is asking. ❤️ sorry guys trolls are downvoting everyone. TLDR; I asked my dad when we’re financially struggling for some new clothes and seen him cry

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TIFU by asking my dad for a new sweatshirt

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TIFU by asking a coworker why doesn’t bring his dog anymore

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TIFU by asking a coworker why doesn’t bring his dog anymore

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DefinetlyNotSara

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My employer allows us to bring our dogs to workplace aslong as they’re well behaved and no one in the team has a fear of dogs or an allergy. So my coworker used to bring his big fluffy dog to work. He was always super friendly and got a lot of cuddles and treats from everyone. The last couple of weeks he stopped. Nothing unusual at first, since he doesn't bring him all the time (even though that makes everyone sad) But after it was weeks since I last saw the dog I asked him today in a kinda joking matter why he never brings the dog anymore. He turned silent and seemed really uncomfortable. “I have bad news… The dog… died” I didn't know. I was an unsensitive prick. And have just teared up the wound of someone who lost a pet… I apologized immediately, feeling absolutely terrible. But that didn’t help the awkward silence afterwards (which also lasted for the rest of the workday) So yeah, that’s how I effed up today TL;DR: I asked my coworker why he doesn’t bring his dog anymore, but I didn’t know it died.

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TIFU by asking a coworker why doesn’t bring his dog anymore

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tifu by ccidentally using adhesive instead of lubricant

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tifu by not paying attention

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tifu by, can't even say it's so embarrassing

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