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Texted another girl.
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1.0
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305518
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TIFU by writing off radiation exposure as psychosis
None
0
[]
0.32
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nus47/tifu_by_writing_off_radiation_exposure_as/
null
None
some_ads
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[deleted]
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1674954206
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some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nuvza/texted_another_girl/
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deleted
1676226566
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305518
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None
Texted another girl
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0
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1.0
null
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some_ads
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[deleted]
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1674954360
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1674985398.0
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t3_10nuxxd
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10
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deleted
1676226564
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[deleted]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305518
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None
TIFU, Texted another girl for 3 days.
None
0
[]
0.28
null
None
some_ads
7
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False
askmeificarendall
t2_tjcw6
None
None
None
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1674955159
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self.tifu
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10nv7jh
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t3_10nv7jh
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some_ads
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moderator
1676226556
1
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305516
public
None
TIFU when I realized every comment I’ve ever made on here was public
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nv7jh/tifu_when_i_realized_every_comment_ive_ever_made/
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some_ads
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Historicaljoker
t2_vaim6hpk
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None
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1674957436
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self.tifu
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10nvybs
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{}
False
t3_10nvybs
True
1
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True
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nvybs/i_tifu_by_trusting_this_woman_at_a_club_blonde/
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null
7
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None
moderator
1676226534
1
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305516
public
None
I TIFU by trusting this woman at a club (blonde long hair, not tied, down to her back )
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nvybs/i_tifu_by_trusting_this_woman_at_a_club_blonde/
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None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
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[deleted]
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1674960686
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10nx0oi
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t3_10nx0oi
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some_ads
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null
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deleted
1676226501
1
None
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305516
public
None
Messed up and saw lots of dirty chats on my bf’s Reddit
None
0
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1.0
null
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promo_adult_nsfw
3
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ThrowRAggffhhsne200
t2_vqgkdydi
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1674961417
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self.tifu
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10nx9e1
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t3_10nx9e1
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1676226494
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This happened about an hour ago. But a little context to explain it even though it really doesn't help my case. Me(m21) and my Ex(f21) broke up about two years ago. I broke up with her for selfish reasons and at the time I was too young to really understand the full ramifications of what I was doing. We proceed to try and be friends afterwards but she started doing things that fucked with my head like hang out with my family when I wasn't around and trying to fuck my best friend and she dropped out of college and started drinking a lot. At the time I really wanted to be there for her but not even three months later I got into a relationship with someone who did not like my ex and so I kinda just obeyed her jealous tendencies and ignored my ex and pushed her out of my life really hard. A year and a half pass (6 months ago ish) and I hear from a mutual friend of my ex that she still seems very interested in being in my life. I ignored this at the time because of my girlfriend's jealousy. Fast forward to recently I did DMT and it revealed to me that my current girlfriend is definitely just a rebound that lasted way too long because we were codependent. It also revealed that I was not at all over my ex because of how quickly I fell in with my current girlfriend. So in my sudden awakening to my life and current situation I decided I wanted to get back in touch with my ex as I had always felt we left things in a really weird spot. So I asked a mutual friend to ask her if we could talk and she said she wasn't in a headspace to hear from me. Now this is where I should've left it but a little over an hour ago I called my ex twice in a row using *67 because I thought she might just hang up if she saw the number. So I made the even worse decision to call her twice from my job's phone number. (Completely clueless still) She didn't respond either time so about forty minutes after that I just called her with my number and she picked up and she was not happy. She asked if it was me who had called her earlier and I told her the truth and she told me that I was being creepy asf and gently let me off the phone without giving me a chance to say anything other than I'm sorry which she said didn't cut it. And she is right. Now I'm sitting here and I feel so many different things. First off what I did was creepy asf and I can't imagine how weirded out she must've been about it and somehow none of that occurred to me until after she hung up. And I feel like an asshat weirdo now. Like how could I not have realized that before. Secondly I feel relieved. I've spent the last two years of my life silently hoping there was a chance something could work out in the future again. And now I know it won't. I don't believe there is anything I could do to remedy how she already feels about me. So I fucked up and I'm devastated and shocked with myself, but at the same time now I can move forward with my life. I really don't want to let her go but now I know I have no reason to hold on. TL;DR I called my ex a bunch of times using *67 and my job's phone number and then finally with my number and she picked up and said I was a creep for that and she's right.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305516
public
None
TIFU by calling my ex
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0.46
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nx9e1/tifu_by_calling_my_ex/
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some_ads
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[deleted]
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1674963460
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10nxwsq
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t3_10nxwsq
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1
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some_ads
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null
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deleted
1676226473
1
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305516
public
None
I slept over without my parents permissiond
None
0
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1.0
null
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some_ads
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KKTT_ihopeidontdie
t2_vnr5yimy
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1674963691
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self.tifu
1674979690.0
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10nxzh2
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t3_10nxzh2
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18
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1676226472
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TIFU cuz i slept over without my parents permission So a bit of background of my family. It's a typical Asian family, like girls aren't allowed to go through night time, cant go private with boys, being obedient and stuff like that. So u can figured out that girl going sleep over is a no. But last night i went partying with my close friends. I was like half sober, i can definitely go home but all of my friends were knock out and i cant leave them there. So i had to text mom i cant go home tonight. And she ofcourse sent a long message telling i was selfish, irrogant and basically being irresponsible. So i was too scared to read all those so i turn my wifi off, called the cab for my friends and we stayed together at one of my friends apartment. After i take care of everyone, when everyone was starting to get sober, i started getting drunk. I mean i only drank like 5 shots but i stopped right there. So i think the drunk kinda slowly coming. I went to bed and the next morning mom called me asking if i go home or not. I said i go home and i did went home. But no one including my parents and my brother at home. So now im waiting in fear not knowing what's gonna happen to me after they got home. I know i'm wrong, i am calm and willing to take the consequences but im still scared. I wanted to crash the truck on my way back home not to face all of this. TL:DR I sleep over at my friends home without my parents permission, they got pissed but now when i'm at home, they're not here and i dunno what's gonna happen I'll update after they got home. Update1: they got home at 12p.m, but i was sleeping so they didn't say anything. But my room door was closed now so i dont know what to do.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
public
None
TIFU cuz i slept over without permission
None
0
[]
0.44
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nxzh2/tifu_cuz_i_slept_over_without_permission/
null
None
some_ads
7
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[deleted]
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None
None
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1674964776
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None
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0
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10nyb9d
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False
True
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False
None
{}
False
t3_10nyb9d
True
1
0
False
some_ads
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null
7
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None
deleted
1676226461
1
None
{}
[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
public
None
TIFU by not reading the credits to a porn movie
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
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lalama6
t2_atc3w2j2
None
None
None
False
1674965493
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None
self.tifu
False
0
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10nyjcv
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False
t3_10nyjcv
True
1
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True
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nyjcv/tifu_by_looking_at_my_bfs_reddit_chats/
False
null
7
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None
moderator
1676226455
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
public
None
Tifu by looking at my bf’s Reddit chats
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nyjcv/tifu_by_looking_at_my_bfs_reddit_chats/
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
True
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1674966211
None
None
False
0
False
False
10nyrc7
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10nyrc7
False
62
0
True
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nyrc7/tifu_by_not_reading_the_credits_to_a_porn_movie/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226448
638
None
{}
[deleted]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
public
None
TIFU by not reading the credits to a porn movie
None
0
[]
0.94
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
False
False
informationskills
t2_cw1szgri
None
None
None
False
1674966935
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10nyz88
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
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False
None
{}
False
t3_10nyz88
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nyz88/top_10_countries_military_spending_military/
False
null
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None
moderator
1676226440
1
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
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None
Top 10 Countries | Military Spending | Military Budget By Country
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nyz88/top_10_countries_military_spending_military/
null
None
some_ads
7
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False
teriij
t2_149vk0
None
None
None
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1674968170
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
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10nzcbf
False
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None
{}
False
t3_10nzcbf
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nzcbf/tifu_put_it_in_park/
False
null
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None
moderator
1676226429
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
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False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
public
None
TIFU Put it in Park
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nzcbf/tifu_put_it_in_park/
null
None
some_ads
7
True
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Dirnol
t2_doegr
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None
None
False
1674968286
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10nzdi0
False
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False
False
True
True
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False
None
{}
False
t3_10nzdi0
False
3
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10nzdi0/tifu_by_putting_up_a_snowflake_wall_for_the/
False
null
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1676226429
18
None
{}
My wife and I just bought our first house in 2022 and since we don’t have a lot in the way of decorations yet we’ve been getting creative with things we can make ourselves. For Halloween, I printed out hundreds of little bats with my Cricut and put them on the wall with blue tack. It went so well that I wanted to do the same thing for Christmas with snowflakes. I had started to work on an easily printable snowflake design when my wife showed me these bags of snowflakes from [Big Hobby Store] that looked perfect, and they were 60% off. I ended up buying 5 bags for less than $15 and the wall decoration turned out great! The fuck up is that I didn’t test the adhesive snowflake backing on the wall before I committed to putting up roughly 600 of them. It turns out the adhesive is awful and trying to pull off the snowflakes takes all the paint off the wall with them. I’ve tried Goo Gone, scraping, dish soap, and finally steam which works better but takes roughly 2 minutes per snowflake of applied steam to remove. So today I have rented a pressure steamer and am slowly trying to unstick them from the wall with minimal paint damage to try and avoid completely redoing the entire wall. Tl;dr Test your adhesive before using it on your wall or you’ll never love Christmas again
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305515
public
None
TIFU by putting up a snowflake wall for the holidays
None
0
[]
0.85
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10nzdi0/tifu_by_putting_up_a_snowflake_wall_for_the/
null
None
some_ads
7
True
False
throwaway_20202222
t2_n40vovvi
None
None
None
False
1674970961
None
None
self.tifu
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0
False
False
10o06f1
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True
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True
True
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False
None
{}
False
t3_10o06f1
False
15
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False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o06f1/tifu_by_trying_to_take_care_of_nether_acne/
False
null
7
False
None
None
1676226403
36
None
{}
This story starts about an hour ago when I got out of the shower, when I had noticed a particularly large white bump on my privates. So I did what any idiot would do and wanted to see if I could just.. pop it, like a zit. After a few uncomfortable minutes of attempting different angles I knew I wasn't going to be able to get it out using just my fingers. So, I pulled out my acne/manicure kit and grabbed an acne removal needle. After poking at what I had mistaken for acne I found it was actually completely solid. It was at this point I started growing more worried and started looking for answers online and couldn't find anything to match what I was looking for, so I ventured onward.. by grabbing the dead skin removing knife from the kit and trying to cut out this massive bump. So after 40 minutes of craning my neck, bleeding all over a rag I sat on and going through way more rubbing alcohol and swear words than I should have; I finally managed to remove what was actually an ingrown hair which was at one point infected, and the remaining pus had solidified. TLDR: I tried to remove what I thought was a zit and instead played operation where the sun doesn't shine in an attempt to remove an 3/4 inch ingrown hair with old rock hard pus which I now know is called a skin abcess. I'd post a picture if I could.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
Tifu by trying to take care of nether acne
None
0
[]
0.88
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o06f1/tifu_by_trying_to_take_care_of_nether_acne/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1674971468
None
None
False
0
False
False
10o0bo6
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o0bo6
True
2
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o0bo6/i_think_i_just_accidentally_tasted_my_own_cum/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226400
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
I think I just accidentally tasted my own cum. What is wrong with me?
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
CumTastingThrowaway
t2_423m9vbcy
None
None
None
False
1674971689
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10o0dx0
False
False
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True
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t3_10o0dx0
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
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TIFU by accidentally tasting my own cum.
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0
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0.38
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o0dx0/tifu_by_accidentally_tasting_my_own_cum/
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some_ads
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deleted
1676226356
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[deleted]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
Tifu by looking into my gf synced contacts on her computer.
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0.68
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deleted
1676226347
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[deleted]
True
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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None
TIFU for laughing at my American friend who is learning Korean
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0
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1.0
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Ttttthhhhhh
t2_c5jnkpza
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1674979621
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1676226333
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
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18305511
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None
by trying to clean my boyfriend’s comb
None
0
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1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o2k0s/by_trying_to_clean_my_boyfriends_comb/
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t5_2to41
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TIFU by trying to clean my boyfriend’s comb
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
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TIFU by scarring a cat out of my backyard. TW, Cat death.
None
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1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o35jb/tifu_by_scarring_a_cat_out_of_my_backyard_tw_cat/
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deleted
1676226313
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{}
[deleted]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
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TIFU by sexting a stranger from chat
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0.7
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Main_Classroom_784
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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TIFU by scaring a cat away. TW Cat death.
None
0
[]
0.5
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o38nf/tifu_by_scaring_a_cat_away_tw_cat_death/
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[deleted]
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deleted
1676226313
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
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I don’t know what to do
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1.0
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Suka_Blyad_
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TLDR: I bought a 10 foot long dryer vent and was sizing it up outside Home Depot where I bought it to make sure it would fit my trucks exhaust, which admittedly without context could easily looks like I’m gonna go home, plug it in my exhaust, feed it through my window and y’know, some older gentleman seen me doing this and the looks of absolute terror on his face was like nothing I’d ever seen, I explained the situation and we had a laugh about it though and I thanked him for his concern So this wasn’t actually today it was a few months back in the fall but I was telling a buddy of mine this story and he said I should post it here So for context I had a nasty wasp/hornet infestation in my shed, it was only one nest but you couldn’t even open the shed door without being swarmed and I needed my lawnmower to cut my grass Since I couldn’t see where the nest was or get close enough to spray it without being viciously attacked and I really didn’t want to call and pay somebody to do it me and my moms boyfriend came up with the idea to simply smoke them out then spray the nest once the coast was clear, which is exactly what I did and it worked perfectly As mentioned we decided the best way to do this was to buy a dryer vent that would fit my trucks exhaust, back up to the shed, slide the vent over my exhaust and the other side into the shed, I’d still have to crack the door a bit but i figured if I was careful I’d get away without a sting and I did Once all that was done just sit and wait while occasionally revving my truck a bit, then move in for the kill once I was sure they were smoked out, once the nest was sprayed just let the shed air out and problem solved All in all it worked perfectly but after I bought the vent I wanted to make sure it would fit my truck even though I measured and was pretty confident, so I nonchalantly walk to my exhaust and am sizing up the vent to the pipe, I look up and a few parking spots over there’s an older man looking at me with absolute horror, he then starts approaching me asking what the hell im doing, saying you don’t have to do this and just sit down and we can talk about whatever’s bothering me The thought never even crossed my mind that this is actually a way people kill themselves until he started talking, I felt so bad I made him panic like that, I explained the situation and showed him texts between me and my moms boyfriend just to reassure him this isn’t what it looks like, we had a good laugh and I was very thankful for his concern and made that clear then we went our separate ways But I can’t stress enough I have never seen a look of horror like that on someone’s face before I felt awful
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by making some random guy outside Home Depot think I’m going to off myself
None
1
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0.97
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o39hc/tifu_by_making_some_random_guy_outside_home_depot/
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Immediate_Bee7022
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1674982476
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10o3a4j
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t3_10o3a4j
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1
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null
7
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None
moderator
1676226312
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by throwing up
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o3a4j/tifu_by_throwing_up/
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
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Immediate_Bee7022
t2_42eu6xbvg
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1674982570
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self.tifu
1675205879.0
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10o3b0h
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False
t3_10o3b0h
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31
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1676226311
35
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I (F18) and my bf(M19) have been dating for around 8months 5 of those we have been in an physical relationship, before we got together he thought he was gay he now identifies as bisexual with a preference for men, I am also bisexual and prefer men. Now here’s where I fucked up, a few months ago he said he wanted to explore men I ended up throwing up from working myself up over him breaking up with me. Although I don’t do well with polyamory we said it could be possible but didn’t talk about it again. Until last night we were on the phone and he brought it up again I once again got worked up and worried and threw up, he now thinks I’m disgusted with him I’m really not and I even laid out some ground rules if he was to explore polyamory. I just don’t know what to do I don’t want to loose him and I love him more than anything. Update: We decided to end things after a very long conversation we are both very torn up about it but it needed to happen I still love him so much so no one hate on him, just thought I’d give you the update. TL;DR
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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None
TIFU by throwing up
None
0
[]
0.71
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o3b0h/tifu_by_throwing_up/
null
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some_ads
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letheix
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1674984776
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10o3vj1
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t3_10o3vj1
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1
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some_ads
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moderator
1676226294
1
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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None
TIFU by misperceiving a pistachio.
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o3vj1/tifu_by_misperceiving_a_pistachio/
null
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some_ads
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[deleted]
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1674986619
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10o4c5z
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some_ads
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deleted
1676226280
1
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{}
[deleted]
True
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by yelling at one of our drivers at work
None
0
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1.0
null
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some_ads
7
True
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Starving_orphans11
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1674986645
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self.tifu
1675053440.0
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10o4cem
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t3_10o4cem
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823
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1676226280
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This odd memory occurred roughly 4-5 years ago when I was still in high school. At the time, I 15-16M was with a small group of friends. We were all sophomores and had just started to explore the world of marijuana. It’s a Friday or Saturday night in the summer and like any other degenerates at the time we figured, what better way to spend the evening than smoking a little Mary J and walking around town? After our little sesh, around 8PM ish, the munchies set in, so we figured we’d make our way to McDonald’s to hangout and grab some food. Once we got there we ordered and sat down at a booth This is where the fuck up starts- When we sit down it’s pretty obvious that other than an older couple seated nearby (think mid 60’s early 70’s) we are the only people in the McDonald’s, and we are acting like very high children While waiting for our food, I realize I need to pee so I head to the bathroom. I go in and head to a urinal which conveniently had a bit of a partition wall giving a bit of extra privacy between the urinal and stall portions of the mens room. While I’m peeing I start to hear the weirdest sound and at first I wasn’t able to even tell if I was just high, or actually hearing something/someone else In the bathroom with me. My curiosity gets the best of me and I peek my head around the mini partition wall only to lock eyes with a man (easily in his 30’s or 40’s), presumably with down syndrome, masturbating with the stall door wide open. He was really going at it and when I caught him he got scared and started screaming. I ran out, also extremely scared and very high, and unfortunately, told my friends loudly that “ a R******* was jerking off in the bathroom” Well, as soon as I said that the only other people in the McDonald’s- the old couple - immediately burst into tears and run into the bathroom to take care of who I can only presume to be their adult son. I know that it was completely wrong for me to have used those words, despite me being quite shaken up by what I walked in. But man, the way that the mom reacted to what I said has stuck with me forever, just a look of sheer terror and exhaustion. TL;DR Walked in on an adult Down Syndrome man masturbating in McDonald’s bathroom and caused family chaos by sharing my experience to my high friends in a derogatory manor :( Edit: just to clarify a few things 1) I was in no means traumatized by this event, I was already joking about it later the same night with my friends and after the initial shock I understood that the guy was mentally handicapped and I’d never hold it against him 2) Seeing his parents reactions to what I said affected me much more than the incident itself. I really was only a kid at the time, but the instant switch from calm to panic in their eyes definitely taught me a lot about how my words affect others and also made me respect how much parents of disabled children do exponentially more
True
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by investigating a sound in the McDonald’s bathroom
None
1
[]
0.93
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o4cem/tifu_by_investigating_a_sound_in_the_mcdonalds/
null
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promo_adult_nsfw
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[deleted]
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TIFU by having sex with gf after a few drinks
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Zealousideal_Sound_2
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TIFU by having sex with gf after a few drinks It happened 5 years ago and the story ain't funny at all, so ima tell another story that happened at the same time that was (a little) funny, just before. I (M20) and my gf at that time (F20) (europe, (not english speaker)) wanted to go in my grand-parent place during holliday as there is beach near there and we could do alot of fun activity near that place. But we had barely no money (students) and thought it could be fun to find a job in that periode near that place. We tried to do many calls (as we weren't near before arriving) but all failed. My grandma wanted to help us and went to multiple restaurants and asked if they wanted 2 young people to be barman or waitress. One was looking for two, houra ! But they had one rule. No couple (as they had an issue before where they had to fire one, but the other left too). And my grandma.. told them.. we were cousins ! So we had to fake being cousins and not couple during 2 months. Tbf it was a lot of fun, trying to kiss each others while no one looked, or just hold hands when coming the morning. At this point we were pro (or thought we were). We did 1.5 months, no one told us anything. Me and my gf agreed it could be cool to finally told them we were actually a couple and not cousins. The restaurant was familly owned. A couple of ~60yo and their son (and his wife) around 30yo. The mother was the coolest with us, so we told her first. We start to explain here, that we are a couple and she answers that she known. That she actually seen us kissed multiple time. She laughs and as it went good we go tell the others. Others didn't know but it all went well aswell. So we explain everything again, but the mother stop us and say "ohhh you are not cousins ??". We were like wtf, she told us she known we were a couple. Then she tells us she known we were a couple, but still thought we were cousins ! that back in here time, it was "normal" (wich is even funnier, as she lived in the north of my country, which is mocked for having alot of incest (like alabama)). We all had a good laugh, others took the reveal well, and told it was funny that they were tricked like that by an old lady (my grandma) and that we had to fake being cousins and not couple. Well that's the end for this first story. Ain't the best, but good very good memory/fun of it. Now the bad one. So, as said, we were living at my gp place during the holliday, and were working at that restaurant aswell. We worked the week-end, but monday we were free instead. So every monday we visited place near by, go to restaurant and often drink alcools. We often (always) have sex after drinking alot as it opens both of us (mentally) and both let it go. But one time it went differently.. we both were drunk, we start having sex when we came back home. Everything goes well, we start kissing, remove our cloths, doing preliminary. Both enjoy it alot. I then do penetration, but there is the problem. We did it alot before, we were together for 3 years already at that time, what I mean is, it's not our first time. So, I do penetration, and from my point of view, it all looks fine, she looks like to enjoy it, she is wet, she moans, etc.. Problem is, she was not. This time she didn't want to do penetration. She just wanted preliminary. But she was too drunk, and couldn't tell me to stop. She told me the next day, crying. And I didn't know what to do or what to answer. We both are very different in how we like to be treated when you feel bad. I like to be left alone, and she likes to have someone to talk to. When I have issue, I want someone that have answer and can help. While she don't care about help/answer and just want emotional help. And I know I acted like an idiot, because I tried to help her the way I would like to be helped. Which obviously didn't help her.. Our sex life drop after this. She had trauma. And I was scared to rape her (again). When it happened I had no idea what was going on.. And it's not like a drunk excuse "I couldn't control myself". Nah, I had full control, I just had no idea she wasn't ok. We lived together for another 3 years. Then decided to seperate (it went really well). But we were just too different. She achieved to heal her trauma after a year or two (atleast partially). We tried to talk about it multiple time, and it was always very weird. Because, we both agreed it was a rape, but in the meantime, that I did nothing wrong in that moment and that I couldn't know what was happening. After the incident we always asked each other if the other was ok with it before each step. Which was weird at first then become normal after, even exciting. Found another gf a few months after we broke. She had CNC kink. It obviously didn"t work out for me. I now am with another gf since 2 months. We both are in line sexually wise, and ask each other if we are ok at each step. We also both LOVE space and science ! I love her and am very happy. I haven't talk to my ex since about a year now, so dunno how she ended out. I just hope she is happy. Never told this story to anyone, even closest friend, as I am scared on how they would react to this story. Is there something more I could have done ? Knowing none of us set-up boundary nor safe word. I wish everyone happy moment and not to live such story (both side). TL;DR pre-mini story: had to pretend with my gf that we were cousins instead of a couple to get a job together. One of the boss found out we were a couple but thought we were still cousins. TL;DR main story: had sex with my gf after a few drinks as usual, found out the next day she didn't want to but was too drunk to express it.
True
False
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by having sex with gf after a few drinks
None
0
[]
0.81
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o4z0l/tifu_by_having_sex_with_gf_after_a_few_drinks/
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
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MousseInevitable4589
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1674990188
None
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self.tifu
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0
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10o58ml
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False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o58ml
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o58ml/abandonment_issues_32f_33m/
False
null
7
False
None
moderator
1676226254
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
Abandonment issues 32f 33m
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o58ml/abandonment_issues_32f_33m/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1674993742
None
None
False
0
False
False
10o656s
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o656s
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o656s/tifu_by_having_an_arm_wrestle_with_my_best_friend/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226225
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305513
public
None
TIFU by having an arm wrestle with my best friend.
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1674993967
None
None
False
0
False
False
10o67ci
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o67ci
True
1
0
True
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o67ci/tifu_by_having_a_threesome_with_my_girlfriend_and/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226223
1
None
{}
[removed]
False
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305513
public
None
TIFU by having a threesome with my girlfriend and my best friend
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
False
False
Singaya
t2_8sp6o
None
None
None
False
1674994301
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10o6anj
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o6anj
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o6anj/tifu_by_not_observing_safe_designerdrug_protocol/
False
null
7
False
None
moderator
1676226220
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305513
public
None
TIFU by not observing safe designer-drug protocol
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o6anj/tifu_by_not_observing_safe_designerdrug_protocol/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
Singaya
t2_8sp6o
None
None
None
False
1674994999
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10o6hq0
False
True
False
False
False
True
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o6hq0
False
6
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o6hq0/tifu_by_comically_stupid_misuse_of_designer_drugs/
False
null
7
False
None
None
1676226215
0
None
{}
So by way of foreshadowing, I have this recurring dream where I drop acid and suddenly realize I have to be somewhere and can't get out of it. I spit out the tab but have no idea how much was already absorbed, it's a relief to wake up not on acid. So I'm drinking, watching videos, and happen across two tabs of AL-LAD, an old favorite that I thought was all gone. How much to take? I'd smoked some psilocybin analogue the night before, tough to know. Did one tab, nice but didn't cut it. 90 minutes later did the other tab but the law of diminishing returns was setting in fast. Unless . . . Smoking psilocybin powder is wasteful and unpredictable but it hits very fast, worth a try I thought. So I emptied the baggie into my pipe and took a solid hit, . . . next thing I know I'm gagging and sputtering; WTF happened?! I'd dislodged the screen and sucked a huge pile of ash and god knows how much 4-AcO-DMT right into my mouth. By the time I realized the gravity of the situation it was too late. Managed to spit out some of it but this time it wasn't a dream . . . reality was gone and the benzo I keep for emergencies was lost in a sea of hallucinations. But, that's the beauty of psychedelics, eventually I peaked out and it was awesome. Woke up feeling fine, but that could've been very, very bad. TL;DR unintentional heroic dose of hallucinogenics.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by comically stupid misuse of designer drugs
None
0
[]
0.39
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o6hq0/tifu_by_comically_stupid_misuse_of_designer_drugs/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1674996905
None
None
False
0
False
False
10o70o7
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o70o7
True
1
0
True
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o70o7/tify_by_having_sex_with_gf_after_drinks/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226199
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFY by having sex with gf after drinks
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675002617
None
None
1675002827.0
0
False
False
10o8xaa
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o8xaa
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o8xaa/tifu_by_driving_into_my_sisters_car_and_planning/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226141
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by driving into my sisters car and planning to stay silent.
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
True
False
SkeletalBabe
t2_sncyldx2
None
None
None
False
1675002924
None
None
self.tifu
1675090093.0
0
False
False
10o917v
False
True
False
False
False
True
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o917v
False
124
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o917v/tifu_by_driving_into_my_sisters_car_and_planning/
False
null
7
False
None
None
1676226137
354
None
{}
TIFU by driving into my sisters car and planning to stay silent. So this literally just happened, and I don't know what to do. I 17f is learning how to drive so I can get my licence in 3 months when I turn 18. Just for clarity I know how to drive and I've been doing so around my neighbourhood comfortably with my dad in the drivers seat. Today he decided that I was ready to learn how to park the car (the garage is big enough for two cars so my 22f sisters is on the right). Everything was going okay until for some reason I panicked and stepped on the gas a little too hard and I hit the brakes just in time so I only left a few scratches but they're noticeable. My dad says I should keep quiet until she brings it up. She went out with my mom and they're not back yet. Do I keep this to myself or tell her either way I'm scared. Edit/Update: When my sister came home told my dad that I was going to say something. He told me that I should leave it alone for some reason but i told her anyway she was angry but not at me she said I was just learning so it's okay (She was mad about the scratches). I told my sister that my dad didn't want me to say anything and she said she was glad I said something in the end because she would have been mad if I kept if from her. TL;DR I was learning how to park my car for the first time and I scratched my sisters car. I don't know if I should tell her or not.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by driving into my sisters car and planning to stay silent.
None
0
[]
0.9
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o917v/tifu_by_driving_into_my_sisters_car_and_planning/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
Neptune_enjoyer
t2_asqfkubx
None
None
None
False
1675004652
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10o9pbh
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o9pbh
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o9pbh/tifu_by_going_to_play_football_with_my_friends/
False
null
7
False
None
moderator
1676226117
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by going to play football with my friends
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10o9pbh/tifu_by_going_to_play_football_with_my_friends/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675004692
None
None
False
0
False
False
10o9pvu
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10o9pvu
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10o9pvu/did_i_fu_by_being_a_man/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226117
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
Did I fu by being a man?
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
RetroRedditor
t2_ipilq
None
None
None
False
1675006079
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10oa8ql
False
True
False
False
False
True
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oa8ql
False
18
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oa8ql/tifu_telling_a_friend_i_need_space_because_i/
False
null
7
False
None
None
1676226101
8
None
{}
I (26M) have been seeing a close friend (26F) for the past few months and hanging out together. Last month, I told her I had feelings for her and asked her out on a date. She said it needs more time and she sees me as a friend right now, but we agreed to meet again in a month. Fast forward to today, I took her out again and we had a good time. But ultimately, I decided to message her later that it's really hard for me to be the same type of friend with her that I have been, and that my feelings are difficult to separate from our friendship right now and I need some space. She made a little joke asking if the food we got was that bad, and then told me no problem, she understands. I feel like I fucked up, but I felt like I had to make a choice. What makes me feel worse is that I did this to her after she gave me a gift for my birthday earlier on the same day. We've been close friends for 4 years now, and we always texted/talked to each other every day until now. We would often be able to read each other's minds, and say/think the same exact thing constantly. I care about her a lot and I don't want to hurt her, but I also can't hide how I feel and torture myself. When I dropped her off, I asked when we could meet again, she said probably the end of next month because she's seeing a friend in 2 weeks and working other weekends. I respect her and her feelings, but I couldn't help to think of how 2 weeks is Valentine's Day weekend.. Even if her friend is a another girl or a guy. I also didn't feel I wanted to wait another month to see her again TL;DR: I told my closest friend I wanted to date her, but I was soft rejected. I tried to hang out with her as a friend again, but I couldn't shake my feelings. I ultimately told her after we met that I needed space, and I tried to say it in the most sincere way without hurting her (no ultimatum or anything. Just that I need time and it's hard to see her as only my friend). I miss her very much, and I don't want to hurt her. I feel like I fucked up because we had such a close connection with each other, but I felt I had no choice. I don't know how long it will be before I can talk to her again, which is what hurts me the most
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU Telling a friend I need space because I still have feelings for her
None
0
[]
0.75
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oa8ql/tifu_telling_a_friend_i_need_space_because_i/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
Colinian18
t2_106b4x
None
None
None
False
1675006602
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10oafsl
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oafsl
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oafsl/tifu_by_buying_too_much_crypto/
False
null
7
False
None
moderator
1676226095
0
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by buying too much crypto
None
0
[]
0.5
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oafsl/tifu_by_buying_too_much_crypto/
null
None
some_ads
7
True
False
Colinian18
t2_106b4x
None
None
None
False
1675006943
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10oakja
False
True
False
False
False
True
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oakja
False
163
1
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oakja/tifu_by_buying_too_much_crypto/
False
null
7
False
None
None
1676226091
36
None
{}
Disclaimer: This actually happened a few days ago. I recently got into crypto and have gotten a little ambitious. Well, I put most of my paycheck into the markets, had a few bills go through and my account went into the negative. I figured it would sort itself out as I get paid weekly and I didn't want to sell any coin or anything. Well, It hasn't been a week yet and I have already made a fool out of myself again. I went to a new barber and he only took cash. No debit, no credit, only cash. So, I had to rush and pull the cash out getting hit with a fee at the atm, and again at the gas station. Lesson learned. Keep cash on hand. I won't be making that mistake again (hopefully) and plan to put, and keep, a little more in the account for safety. 10 or 20 is cutting it close, 40 or 50 would probably be better. (Don't laugh, I'm broke af) ​ TL;DR - Put all my money into the crypto market to squeeze that extra little bit of profit. Ended up getting hit with an overdraft fee, and two ATM fees instead.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by buying too much crypto
None
0
[]
0.58
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oakja/tifu_by_buying_too_much_crypto/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675008459
None
None
False
0
False
False
10ob61k
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10ob61k
True
0
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10ob61k/tifu_by_trying_to_dance_with_girls_at_this_club/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226073
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by trying to dance with girls at this club
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
weedgay
t2_36vrrv4p
None
None
None
False
1675009827
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10obpbb
False
True
False
False
False
True
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10obpbb
False
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10obpbb/tifu_by_dreaming_about_a_holiday_dinner/
False
null
7
False
None
None
1676226056
11
None
{}
This happened in 2021 after the first bit of lockdowns. My family is very big on holiday dinners, every year for every major holiday I drive to another town where my aunt lives to eat and catch up with everyone. My aunt makes a huge dinner for everyone and she is a great cook. It's tradition, it's been the same turkey dinner since I was a child and it is my favourite part of being alive. After missing Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter dinner I was missing that part of life. I got a box of stove top stuffing to relieve the pain and later that night I went to bed. Here is where I fucked up, I was having a beautiful dream where I was sitting at the dinner table with my family and my aunt walked up to see how my food was as I grunt and nod my head. I was rudely awoken from this dream by my girlfriend hitting me and calling me disgusting and started yelling that I was moaning my aunts name in a sexual tone. I quickly jolted out of bed and began to explain I was dreaming of turkey dinner while my girlfriend looked at me disturbed. I still don't think she believes me. ​ TL;DR - I had a food dream and was sexually moaning my Aunts name in my sleep, my GF thinks I'm having sexy family dreams.
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by dreaming about a holiday dinner
None
0
[]
0.92
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10obpbb/tifu_by_dreaming_about_a_holiday_dinner/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675010797
None
None
False
0
False
False
10oc307
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oc307
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oc307/tifu_by_being_really_immersed_in_my_writing/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226045
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by being really immersed in my writing.
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675010971
None
None
False
0
False
False
10oc5d3
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oc5d3
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oc5d3/tifu_by_cheating_on_my_partner/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226043
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by cheating on my partner
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675011085
None
None
False
0
False
False
10oc70e
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oc70e
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oc70e/tifu_by_cheating_on_my_partner/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226041
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by cheating on my partner
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675011106
None
None
1675044614.0
0
False
False
10oc7ay
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oc7ay
False
0
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oc7ay/tifu_by_finally_managing_to_continue_writing/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226042
0
None
{}
[deleted]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by finally managing to continue writing.
None
0
[]
0.4
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675011236
None
None
False
0
False
False
10oc925
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10oc925
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oc925/tifu_by_cheating_on_my_partner/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226040
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
public
None
TIFU by cheating on my partner
None
0
[]
1.0
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
[deleted]
null
None
None
None
False
1675011795
None
None
False
0
False
False
10ochn5
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10ochn5
True
1
0
True
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10ochn5/tifu_by_being_too_excited_about_an_email/
False
null
7
False
None
deleted
1676226033
0
None
{}
[removed]
False
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
public
None
Tifu by being too excited about an email
None
0
[]
0.5
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
False
False
laurenash_
t2_myttl41g
None
None
None
False
1675012112
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10ocm76
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
{}
False
t3_10ocm76
True
1
0
False
some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10ocm76/tifu_by_accidentally_cheating_on_my_boyfriend/
False
null
7
False
None
moderator
1676226029
1
None
{}
[removed]
True
False
False
t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
public
None
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my boyfriend
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ocm76/tifu_by_accidentally_cheating_on_my_boyfriend/
null
None
some_ads
7
False
False
laurenash_
t2_myttl41g
None
None
None
False
1675012741
None
None
self.tifu
False
0
False
False
10ocvn2
False
False
False
False
False
False
True
False
False
None
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TIFU by accidentally cheating on my boyfriend
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Tifu by having sex after a divorce
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Tifu by having sex after a divorce
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Tifu by meeting a younger girl after a divorce
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TIFU by accidentally cheating on my boyfriend
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This was last weekend, but the consequences only became clear yesterday. A little context before the actual incident. Two years ago I went through a breakup with someone I loved very much, who had been my friend for years before we started dating. The relationship ended with her telling me that I wasn’t strong enough to give her the support she needed, I wasn’t successful enough to be her long-term partner, and if we were together she would always wonder if she could have found someone better. Those words honestly fucked me up. I made a commitment that no one was ever going to throw me away for being weak or unsuccessful again. Over the last two years, I’ve pushed myself personally, physically, and professionally. I went to therapy and studied attachment theory to understand why I struggle in relationships. I went to the gym five days a week at 5am and gained 20 pounds of good weight. I changed jobs, earned promotions, and almost tripled my income. This has all been very rewarding, but also very lonely. I lost most of my close friends in the breakup, and I’m in my mid-thirties so making new friends is hard. I live alone, and basically grind everyday. Last year I finally decided to try dating again, so I got on the apps. It’s rough out there. A lot of false starts, ghosting, etc., until two months ago I really clicked with a girl. We’ve been seeing each other most weekends since. This brings me to the fuck up. Last weekend we were having one of those lazy, early-relationship-pillow-talk Sunday mornings. At one point I went to get up to make coffee, and while I was sitting on the edge of the bed she hugged me from behind and rested her cheek against my upper back. I am 6’ and 190 pounds, I am not used to being held like that, and I was not prepared. In that moment all the isolation and tension and effort of the last two years washed away, and I felt overwhelmingly safe and relaxed and at peace. In the most fundamental way, I wasn’t alone. It was such an intense feeling of relief that I started shaking and got tears in my eyes. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her I just hadn’t felt so happy in a long time. The rest of the morning seemed pretty normal, we made out for a while, had coffee, and she went home. On Monday I sent her a text to ask about plans for the following weekend. I didn’t hear back, which was unusual. On Wednesday I asked what was up, and she responded that work was super busy and she’d get back to me soon. Then yesterday I woke up to a super long text, explaining that she doesn’t see a future for us, it’s too much pressure being responsible for someone else’s happiness, and she needs to be with someone whose “cup is already full”. I texted back asking if we could talk, but that was left on read. I get where she’s coming from. It’s just so frustrating. I've made so much progress the last couple of years, but on some level I still crave that feeling of intimacy, and it seems like the only way to get it is to not need it. I tried to write a wise conclusion here but it’s all a jumble so I’ll just leave it at that. TL;DR - Had a moment of genuine vulnerability, got dumped.
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TIFU by experiencing overwhelming happiness
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Tifu by being rusty
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This is an actively ongoing TIFU. I'm not gonna be vulgar, but I will be frank about the human body be warned. To set the scene a little, I had my first and only other kidney stone about a decade back. Woke up that day and was just very unsure what was wrong with my body but knew I was in pain and had to but couldn't pee. After a few hours I went to the hospital, they did their thing and sent me home. For a long time I was much better about drinking water. I'd drink a little of cranberry juice (like the real stuff not cocktail) and even developed a bit of a taste for it. Time went on, and the pain and horror from that day faded from my mind. Its really the last 6 months or so that I've stopped drinking a glass of cranberry a day to appease my anxiety and vague fear. About a week ago, I started thinking about it again. Like the thought has crossed my mind 1-3 times a day. Not obsessive, just "wow it would really suck if that happened" in a weird remember-y way and moving on after I tell myself how much healthier my fluid intake is than it used to be. So I hope you can all appreciate this cruel cosmic joke with me, as I sit here waiting to pass a stone. I'm 99.5% sure it's a kidney stone even though things played out different today. I usually pee first thing when I wake up, and this morning I didn't have to. Went about my day until I was hit really hard with the urge to pee. Except I didn't have a lot, which I didn't think about as I reflexively flushed before I finished. Then things started to register, "wait that colors not right", and "okay that actually hurts" or "hold up is that blood?" "Fuck I've gotta pee again". That was about 20 minutes ago. I haven't been able to get more than a few drops at a time. Definitely have (a small amount of) blood coming out. My therapist is gonna hate it when I tell her my anxiety was right. I don't know why this is so funny to me but I think it's just how I'm coping. I really need to pee. Tl;Dr started having random anxious thoughts about getting a kidney stone at some point in the last few days. I ignored that fear, and now I'm trying to pass a stone. Idk what listening to that fear would have fixed but there's a weird irony to it I can't seem to get past. Send help
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TIFU by ignoring the random paranoia of having a kidney stone over the last week
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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oddts/tifu_by_ignoring_the_random_paranoia_of_having_a/
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In 2019 me and my wife started our green card process when we we about to have our first child. We had all of our paper work accepted and were interview approved in February of 2020. Then, came along Trump and his ban on immigration into the USA so we were dead in the water until he was gone. About a month after Biden became president we were given an interview date in May we couldn't make so had to pass on it thinking that it wouldn't be that hard to get a 30 minute interview at the Guangzhou consulate. Unfortunately, China's covid zero policy meant that the Guangzhou consulate was understaffed and everyone who could get out of China was trying to at the moment in time. So, in 2022 when all hell was breaking lose in Shanghai I took a job in Mexico thinking that it would be easier to get an interview in Mexico since there were no interviews in Guangzhou every time I checked for over a year at that point (they were doing like 2 a day, but getting them was almost impossible). So, in July, we went to the USA, and then to Mexico. The job in Mexico turned into an absolute quagmire and they screwed up my wife's and without that the consulate in Juarez wouldn't take us. The final nail in the coffin was when my student's poisoned me after I caught them cheating and we still weren't in the country legally. So, we headed back to the USA for a bit. My wife got pregnant on the way from China to the USA. We're both an older couple and waiting longer for the second child is not really the best option. So, while we were in Mexico the Guangzhou consulate opened up a bunch of appointments. So, we took one and my wife flew back to China in October thinking that if she stayed in the USA she could have potentially overstayed her tourist visa and been unable to get a green card later on. In a normal process they interview you and give you a green card that same day. unfortunately, my wife has a master's in computer science and thanks to Trump again. . .I hate him if you haven't figured that out. They have to "thoroughly vet" her. Which is a process where they don't tell you how long it will take, what will happen, or where her information is being sent. Under normal circumstances this means waiting a few months. In this case it's a bigger deal because she is pregnant and due at the end of March. In China, laws on giving birth are insane. Until a few years ago single women could not give birth and register the child as a citizen. If a single, pregnant woman showed up at a hospital they would just turn her away or make her get an abortion. For our first child to be born my wife needed my passport to register at the hospital months early. Now, I think she can register at the hospital. . . (I think. . . .) but I don't think she can get a birth certificate. In order to get a birth certificate the mother and father of the child have to be present at the hospital within 30 days of the child's birth. Without that birth certificate child number 2 can't become either Chinese or American thanks to the laws of both countries. Currently, I don't have a Chinese visa and I'm trying to get one, but the Chicago visa office for China hasn't gotten back to me. Things that complicate me going back to China are as follows: my mom is getting back surgery to prevent paralysis, my dad has Parkinson's and can't really take care of her on his own after the surgery, I have one child here with me, and I work full time. I teach Science Chemistry and if my wife is unable to get her green card then we will have no choice but to go to another country so that I will be educating foreign students in STEM subjects. My f=wife has a degree in computer science, but she is garbage at computers and only wants to run a small daycare here in the USA since she's actually really good with small children. She's super tiny and so little kids think she's like the adult who is one of them. Anyways, I could have kept my wife here in the USA until she gave birth and then had her go back to China to do the interview, but I f#$%ed up by thinking that going to China would be the best option to get the green card so we could be a family in the USA, but now my second child will be stateless. Some extra facts here. I have tried contacting all the consulates in China. They are completely ignoring my messages. I tried going through my representative and Senator. They got very generic responses from the consulate in December. I know the consulate screwed up initially, because we sent in the required documents they asked for on November 22nd and on December 5th I got an email from them asking for us to send in that paperwork even though I have a confirmation email from them when the item was received on November 22nd. TL;DR I sent my pregnant wife to China and now my future child might end up stateless.
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TIFU by sending my pregnant wife to China
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Tifu by leaving tiktok open
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Tifu by leaving tiktok open…
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TIFU by leaving tiktok in my phone & letting my parents see it
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https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oeouk/tifu_by_leaving_tiktok_in_my_phone_letting_my/
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This happened today. My partner and I are temporarily living at my parents’ second home and they come and stay here at the weekends. Today I had some documents on my laptop that my dad wanted to see which were too large to send via email so I put them on a memory stick. Straight forward right? Well I gave it to him and he plugged the memory stick into his MacBook. After a few minutes he said “I can’t find the files” so I walked over and had a look. I’ve never really used macs so I asked “is there something called documents or computer?” So he opened up a documents folder. Then I saw it. It seems it showed whatever photo he had previously opened. Time stood still. My eyes burned. When he realised he turned the screen away and closed it but it was too late. Those couple of seconds felt like hours. We didn’t say anything. He just continued looking for the folder and it appeared after he removed and reinserted the usb. He sat there for another 10 mins on his laptop while I was cringing into oblivion. I sat elsewhere and pretended I saw nothing. But I didn’t. I am scarred for life. Traumatised. It was a photo I hope he took to send to a doctor. Nobody would want to see that. It was a photo of an area of a man’s body and he’s straight so I can only assume it was himself. Thank fuck it’s Sunday and he left. TLDR: I was helping my dad put files onto his laptop and he accidentally opened a photo of his arsehole and balls which is now burned into my memory.
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t5_2to41
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TIFU by helping my dad transfer files to his laptop
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TIFU Choosing the empty car on a busy train
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UPDATE: TIFU by kicking my father down the stairs
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1676225941
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This happened yesterday in NYC. I took the A train uptown from 59th St as I always do coming home from work. It was relatively busy for a Saturday and there were lots of folks on the platform and already on the train. So, when the car the pulled up closest to me (in the middle of the train) was nearly empty, I was pretty stoked to get a seat. Stepping onto the car, I noticed all of the windows were open, which is weird for a cold January day. Then, as the doors closed behind me, I smelled it. I imagine it would have hit me sooner, but masks delay these things I guess. The smell was a putrid mix of primarily urine with notes of vomit and a distinct fecal finish. “Oh no,” I thought. My eyes dart around the car to find the source of this olfactory abomination. The first thing I find is one of the benches has been… used. This long seat was defiled. It, and the floor around it, were covered in what was unmistakably bodily, but not immediately specifically identifiable. The smell is making me wretch in my mask. I find a seat. I realize that I am now trapped in this car on the long stretch on the express like between 59th and 125th. That’s when I notice the man who without a doubt was responsible for the state of the car. He is drunk and unshowered. He is stumbling (dancing) to music only he can hear around the car. Stomping through his own mess and tracking it throughout the car. By some feat of gravity defiance, the man does not fall over when the train lurches to the side. I am not completely alone on the train with this man. There are others who made the mistake of getting on this empty car on a packed train. We were all greedy, foolhardy. 125th approaches. I weigh my options: I can leave this car and run to another. There’s a small chance I don’t make it to the other car and miss the train. There’s a large chance I don’t get a seat. The alternative is me quite possibly being alone in this car on my way to Dyckman/200th. The man is now banging on the windows. I decide to risk it. I dart out the door as soon as it opens and one of my fellow passengers has made a similar choice to me. Two people on the platform attempt to get into the car. We tell them they don’t want it. We tell them not to. They do not listen. Me and my new compatriot make it onto the next car on the train, now without seats but considerably more comfortable. We laugh when we realize why we’ve moved cars. We are brothers. 145th St comes. The two people we told not to go on that cursed car now enter our car. They avoid eye contact with my friend and I. We tried to warn them; they, as greedy as we once were, saw the promise of an empty car on a busy train and took it. But everything in life has its cost, and they realized that empty car was indeed empty for a reason. We all learned something on this day. TL;DR Got on a subway car that was empty for a reason. Didn’t realize until too late.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
public
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TIFU Choosing an empty car on a crowded subway
None
1
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0.97
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ofh9q/tifu_choosing_an_empty_car_on_a_crowded_subway/
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[deleted]
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1676225939
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
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UPDATE: TIFU by kicking my father down the stairs
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fatbussy777
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10ofkux
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
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TIFU by kicking my father down the stairs… UPDATE!!
None
0
[]
0.11
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ofkux/tifu_by_kicking_my_father_down_the_stairs_update/
null
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[deleted]
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1675020817
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10og9e7
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t3_10og9e7
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1676225917
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
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TIFU by letting my dad use my one-of-a-kind Xbox controller
None
0
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0.5
null
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some_ads
7
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[deleted]
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None
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1675020908
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1675023491.0
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10ogarr
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deleted
1676225915
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[deleted]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
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TIFU by letting my dad use my Xbox controller.
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0
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0.41
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[deleted]
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1675021392
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10oghzz
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{}
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t3_10oghzz
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some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oghzz/tifu_buy_accidentally_buying_sugar_free_werthers/
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deleted
1676225909
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{}
[deleted]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
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TIFU: buy accidentally buying sugar free werthers originals.
None
0
[]
0.38
null
None
some_ads
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[deleted]
null
None
None
None
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1675025088
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10oi26r
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t3_10oi26r
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null
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deleted
1676225861
1
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
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tifu by ruining the relationship with my best friend with sex
None
0
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1.0
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Reddituser7503
t2_3pq2836s
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1675026655
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10oiqje
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{}
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t3_10oiqje
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some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oiqje/tifu_by_leaving_tiktok_open_and_letting_my/
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1676225841
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
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None
TIFU by leaving tiktok open and letting my parents see it
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oiqje/tifu_by_leaving_tiktok_open_and_letting_my/
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some_ads
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atommotron
t2_15fujv
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1675026733
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10oirsb
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t3_10oirsb
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some_ads
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null
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1676225839
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
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None
Tifu by adding sir when I said thank you at drive-thru.
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oirsb/tifu_by_adding_sir_when_i_said_thank_you_at/
null
None
some_ads
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ChurchBathThrowaway
t2_vqq3k1ae
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1675026831
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self.tifu
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10oit97
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{}
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t3_10oit97
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18
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some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10oit97/tifu_by_masturbating_at_church/
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null
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moderator
1676225838
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{}
[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by masturbating at church
None
0
[]
0.28
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oit97/tifu_by_masturbating_at_church/
null
None
some_ads
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Suitable-Variation82
t2_q388vp7v
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None
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1675028148
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None
self.tifu
False
0
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10ojdc8
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{}
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t3_10ojdc8
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some_ads
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1676225821
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{}
Apologies as my formatting is on mobile. After my usual call to my family who will be visiting me in the U.K. soon (mum in the summer and dad in the fall), I decided to book our tickets to the theme parks we were planning to visit. I was in London, and thought I did enough research to confirm that everything was manageable and all in London. I booked the one resort, no problems. Then the other. This where I messed up though. When I was finding out the best times to get on the train, I found that the one resort was not in London…at all. Google maps had mistakenly picked Alton Grove instead of Alton Towers. Option One: I now have to buy a £51.70 bus ticket (per person), and we would lose 2 hours of park time, cutting it to 4 hours instead of 6. It would probably be only about 4 or 5 rides we can ride as the lines are *supposedly* 60 minutes long. Oh and these are the 2 day tickets so I would probably need to find lodging and my family would need to skip a night at their already booked hotel for one in a completely different area. There is also two busses we have to take after the train, and I’m not sure if they accept contactless as my friend had a problem down in Surrey with contactless, so that should be fun (I don’t have an oyster anymore since it was the same price as my contactless). Option Two: My mum doesn’t want to go due to prices anyhow now, so I have to convince my dad to go when he arrives. Sadly, to change the ticket date I need to have extenuating circumstances and I’m not sure what that means. I can only hope that they accept my grovelling of changing the dates so my dad can go instead. (Advice is appreciated though if anyone has experience changing dates or using the buses in Stoke on Trent). TL;DR I booked a 2 day ticket to somewhere that takes 4 hours by train and now have to explain to my family why they have to pay more or explain to the theme park why I have to change the date.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
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TIFU by buying a ticket
None
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0.2
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ojdc8/tifu_by_buying_a_ticket/
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Insanityforfun
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10ojjqh
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some_ads
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moderator
1676225816
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
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TIFU by ordering Girl Scout Cookies and realising I might have face blindness
None
0
[]
0.89
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ojjqh/tifu_by_ordering_girl_scout_cookies_and_realising/
null
None
some_ads
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Overall_Cream2907
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1675030731
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self.tifu
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10okg54
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t3_10okg54
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1
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some_ads
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1676225788
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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None
By soiling myself at the gym
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10okg54/by_soiling_myself_at_the_gym/
null
None
promo_adult_nsfw
3
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Overall_Cream2907
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1675030844
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self.tifu
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10okhxs
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t3_10okhxs
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12
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some_ads
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1676225787
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Right I know it’s stupid before I get all the comments. This lately my life has been a little hectic, I’m waking at 5am getting ready to go to work which is about a 3 hour trip to and from (yeah I know it’s a slog but it pays well and I really enjoy what I do) i’m going to the gym daily and meal prepping then getting home at about 21:30 each night, I have recently tried holding in my bowel movements continuously because I take a long while getting the job done and I’ve sort of just brushed it off until today I woke up and the pain was unfathomable anyway I done the usual of brushing it off as I have done from the past 1-2 weeks and next thing u know I’m squatting and I get to my last rep and I thing my body sort of just realised he needed to let that sucker loose and dropped a giant ass doogie in my underwear, thankfully they were tight fitting however that just caused me to essentially smush it all around and paint my ass like a Icelandic mud bath, I had to instantly shower at the gym and dispose of my shorts and boxers and cancelling my gym membership. I truly feel awful for the individual that has to replace the trash bag with my stinking boxers and shorts sizzling away inside of, I think it’s safe to say I will never be returning. TLDR; I shat my pants at the gym by avoiding shitting due to time constraints
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
Tifu by soiling my pants at the gym.
None
0
[]
0.74
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10okhxs/tifu_by_soiling_my_pants_at_the_gym/
null
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promo_adult_nsfw
3
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Independent_Pair7607
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1675032522
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1675034382.0
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10ol6st
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t3_10ol6st
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some_ads
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null
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1676225766
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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None
TIFU by reporting three girls to the principal for threatening to jump me. PLEASE HELP!!!!
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ol6st/tifu_by_reporting_three_girls_to_the_principal/
null
None
some_ads
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Buggyboy05
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1675033187
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self.tifu
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10olgdg
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some_ads
/r/tifu/comments/10olgdg/tifu_by_slashing_a_random_persons_tires/
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moderator
1676225758
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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None
TIFU by slashing a random person's tires
None
0
[]
0.14
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10olgdg/tifu_by_slashing_a_random_persons_tires/
null
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some_ads
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TeetotaylorSwift
t2_vqkzfr8n
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1675037087
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10on0ma
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/r/tifu/comments/10on0ma/honeymoon_nashville_tn_unlimited_whiskey_leslie/
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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Honeymoon, Nashville TN, Unlimited Whiskey, Leslie Jordan, Flowers for Algernon, Projectile Vomiting, Alcohol Poisoning, Food Poisoning, Taylor Swift, Grand Theft Auto, Feral Cat, Property Damage, No Divorce
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10on0ma/honeymoon_nashville_tn_unlimited_whiskey_leslie/
null
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some_ads
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TeetotaylorSwift
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1675037212
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10on2e3
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t3_10on2e3
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6
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some_ads
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1676225710
0
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Happy Sunday. Y'all! ​ TL;DR: Went on Honeymoon to Nashville TN to see Taylor Swift and eat chicken. Got too drunk at distillery tours and got food poisoning from undercooked chicken. Puked on a security guard and got kicked out before the show started. My FIL's car got stolen. I accidentally let a feral cat into the B&B and destroyed a woman's home. Spent rest of weekend sick in the guest cottage hiding from the host. Wife did not get an annulment or file for divorce. ​ So, this story actually took place years ago, pre-pandemic. Our friends still joke about it and they encouraged me to share it to reddit, so here we go... ​ It was late summer 2018 and my wife and I had just gotten married in a beautiful ceremony that miraculously went off without a hitch. All of the stress we were both under ensuring a successful event had evaporated. We were on the final leg of our honeymoon, the part which I was most proud of arranging (and certain she would love. ​ I had grand plans of whisking my beloved girlfriend away to the bustling city of Nashville, Tennessee for a romantic weekend getaway filled with lip-smacking hot chicken, foot-tapping country music, and good ol' southern hospitality. I had booked us a charming Bed and Breakfast, and also managed to acquire two VIP tickets to see Taylor Swift - my girlfriend's favorite artist. So, when I packed up our hotel room in Huntsville, Alabama to drive the final two hours to our destination I was riding high, my guy. Her parents had even allowed us to borrow their exceptionally comfortable, exceptionally costly car for the trip as it was, after all, our honeymoon. ​ The concert was that evening, and we would arrive in Nashville around noon so we would have some time to kill. I figured we would go shopping, walk around downtown, grab some local food, Ya know, tourist stuff. Little did I know, my significant other had other ideas, ideas that would have made even the most seasoned drinkers quiver in fear. Or salivate in excitement - I don't know - I'm a Pepsi guy. ​ "Darling, I've heard that Nashville is the mecca of whiskey, with more distilleries per capita than any other city in the world," my girlfriend gushed, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I want to visit every single one of them and sample their unique blends." she beamed, quoting the back of a pamphlet she held. Ever intrepid, she surprised me by informing me that she had already booked us a 6 location distillery tour - operated by some company that shuttles people from place to place in a big goofy trolley - on Groupon. And so it was. ​ As a self-proclaimed teetotaler, I was more than a little apprehensive. However, in the spirit of love, I agreed to go along for the ride, hoping to broaden my horizons and surprise my girlfriend with my newfound appreciation for the drink of the gods. Now I'm not actually a full-on teetotaler or straight-edge boi (is sXe a thing still?) - it's just that for the past few years I probably haven't consumed alcohol on more than a couple occasions per year. I don't have addiction issues or any idealogical issues with alcohol or people drinking it - I just...dear lord this is so lame please forgive me...I just prefer Pepsi. Also teetotaler is a fun word, you don't want to know how many times I have muttered it under my breath while writing this. ​ We arrived at our B&B address in Nashville and were greeted with a wave from the enthusiastic, exceedingly endearing southern lady. She seated on a white-painted wooden swing suspended from the ceiling of the expansive wraparound porch. Beside her on a glass table were two large glass pitchers of what was unmistakably freshly brewed tea and freshly squeezed lemonade. I felt like I was in a Desperate Housewives episode or something. To my wife's chagrin, I immediately accepted her offer to fix us some sandwiches for lunch. As she was putting them together, she went over the wifi passwords, parking situation, and house rules for our stay. ​ She informed us that parking was free, but first-come-first-serve, on the street and that we would be staying in the guest house out back separate from the main house. She then warned us that she tends to go to sleep very early, and that she is a deep sleeper. So from about 8pm on we would be on our own till morning. For our convenience, she would leave the sliding glass door that opened up to the patio/backyard/our lodging unlocked if we needed any toiletries, towels, or wanted snacks. We thanked her and took our sandwiches back to the room with us to eat while we figured out where we were supposed to meet for our upcoming tour. She should never have told us about the snacks, but that comes later... ​ Much to our surprise, the pickup location was only a 7 minute walk away from our B&B so we unpacked the car and hung out for a little before walking to the pickup point. We were picked up, and our fateful tour was underway. ​ It began at the first distillery, where we were met by a knowledgeable tour guide who regaled us with the history and process of whiskey making. He resembled beloved American Horror Story actor and all-around icon, dearly departed, fellow Tennessean Leslie Jordan. He sounded uncannily like him and his charismatic disposition and clearly genuine passion for whiskey were contagious, I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised by the sophisticated aroma and smooth taste of the samples. My girlfriend was in a state of bliss, and I found myself caught up in her enthusiasm. ​ Before I knew it, we had visited five distilleries, each one offering a unique twist on the traditional whiskey, from honey-infused to maple-wood aged. My girlfriend was like a kid in a candy store, and I was having a blast too. ​ As my bouncy buzz gave way to my impending inebriation, things started to go south for me. At the sixth distillery, I started feeling lightheaded and dizzy. I tried to play it cool, but with each sip, I felt like I was spiraling into oblivion. I was becoming clumsier, my voice higher, and I felt like I was literally becoming less intelligent. I had to abort my back-and-forth banter with our Leslie Jordan look-alike tour guide because my contributions to the group conversation were progressively deteriorating. Aggressively excessively, impressively unimpressively, repressively regressively, progressively depressively, digressively degressively, deteriorating. Sorry, once I started I could not stop... ​ My wife later informed me that I had made slurred out some long-winded, convoluted word salad comparing the effects of alcohol consumption to...regrettably, the plot of Flowers for Algernon. I capped my ramblings off with a proposed toast to Charly - the story's main character. Thankfully, I have no memory of the apparently audible groans my request elicited, nor did I notice that no one joined in my cheers. I wasn't dangerously drunk, but I was on my way there. My girlfriend, who had been having the time of her life, noticed my rapid decline and proposed we take a break and grab some early dinner. We left the tour, skipping the final stop. ​ On our way to the concert, I started feeling nauseous again, and I knew I was in trouble. As soon as we got in line to enter the concert, I puked all over a security guy, and I was asked to leave. My wife, being the amazing woman she is, took charge and called a rideshare to take me back to our bed and breakfast. Irate, Mr. Security Man shut down any idea of my girlfriend just going in without me - she was guilty by association. ​ We found a quaint little café that looked like it was straight out of a fairytale and ordered some food. I got my hot chicken and some water in me and things were looking up. Our waitress brought us over a couple of large whiskey shots on the house to congratulate us on our union. Feeling better and not wanting to make her feel bad, we raised our glasses and took the shots, My stomach was instantly in knots and I lost the remainder of my appetite. I was back in the danger zone, fighting to stay afloat. We paid our tab and quickly stopped back at the B&B to drop our leftovers off and get ready for the concert. ​ After a quick rest for me and a little pregaming for my wife, we were off to the concert. Taylor Swift. Her favorite artist. Her first time seeing her perform. The concert her friends were so jealous of. That she had been psyched for for months. The number one highlight of a month full of highlights. The climax of our story. I thought about telling her to go alone, but by this point I was a lot more put together than I had been - my speech and general bodily coordination had improved promisingly. I was still feeling dizzy, but I didn't want to disappoint her on our honeymoon. I knew that if I didn't go, memories of our honeymoon would forever be marred by my callous abandonment. I could already hear the voices of my wife's friends telling her how selfish I am. Not today, Satan! I told myself foolishly. ​ On our way to the concert, I started feeling nauseous, and I very nearly asked the driver to take me back to the safety of the cottage. But it passed. Like completely. We joined hundreds of other Swifties in line and my wife hugged me, pecked me on the cheek, and whispered in my ear that she loved me. I was elated. All was right with the world again. I almost blew it, but we were back baby! The line was moving at a pretty decent clip, and we were almost inside the venue when, out of nowhere, my mouth absolutely flooded with saliva. ​ I turned to the side in shock and disgust while what felt like a liter of spit fell out of my mouth. Simultaneously, I was hit with a wave of nausea so strong he thought I was going to pass out. As I doubled over, I felt the pressure building inside me. Like molten lava the bile rose up in my throat, replacing the saliva. I tried to turn away from the people around me, but it was too late. With a loud, guttural retch, I sharply turned and projectile vomited through my hands all over the unsuspecting security officer in front of me. ​ The putrid smell of stomach acid filled the air as whisky and hot chicken came spewing out in an arc, drenching the sidewalk and peppering the poor fellow. The man staggered back, horrified at what I had just done, as the crowd around him erupted in a chorus of disgusted gasps and cries of "eww!" I was promptly kicked out and my wife, red with shame, was guilty by association. No T-Swift for her. We got out of the queue, both mortified beyond measure. We were silent for a few minutes in shock. I expected her to be mad, but this angel of a woman just asked me if I was okay and if there was anything she could do. We got back in an uber and went to the B&B to call it a night. ​ But our adventure wasn't over yet. When we arrived back at the bed and breakfast, we found out that our car had been stolen. My wife, being the strong and independent woman she is, and me, being the weak and dependent man I am, called the police herself. Then the insurance company. Then her parents. I was positive that her dad was going to kill me, but he was surprisingly cool. After a solid rest session I was hungry, and I decided to check the leftovers from the café. That's when I saw the raw chicken, and I realized that the hot chicken from the cute café was undercooked, and I hadn't been able to tell because of my intoxication. ​ I remembered the kind host mentioning that the main house's kitchen was always left unlocked for cottage guests if they needed something after hours. So, I decided to take her up on this offer. When I got there, I was greeted by a big adult cat meowing at the door. I opened the door and the cat darted inside. I quickly found some chips and goldfish in the cupboards and made my way back to the cottage, leaving the cat inside. I felt that I had done a good deed by letting the lil feller in for the night because it had been thundering out. The rest of the night went by without incident. ​ The next morning, there was a knock on our cottage door, and the host asked if we had let a cat into the main house. I sheepishly said yes, and it turned out that the cat was a feral tomcat and caused absolute mayhem overnight, resulting in $1500 in damages. She didn't have the $1.500 dollar number right then, I only found out about that a week or so later. She said that the cat tore her place up and scratched her when she shooed it out, and asked if I would pay the damages willingly. I acquiesced immediately. ​ Honestly, she must have taken pity on us after seeing us talk to the police about the stolen vehicle and given us a honeymoon disaster discount. $1,500 dollars was extremely generous for the level of destruction that tomcat wreaked. There was a lot of "spraying" involved, and a lot of shredded leather furniture and soiled oriental rugs. The host looked sad for the rest of our stay, and neither party - my wife and I - or her - looked each other in the eyes for the rest of our stay, ​ I went to sleep feeling fine but woke up with the most spectacular bout of food poisoning known to man. The remainder of the trip was spent in bed, with me alternating between sweating and shivering, oscillating between hugging the toilet and curling up in the fetal position. My wife stayed by my side and took care of me. I don't deserve her. ​ Our dream honeymoon had turned into a nightmare and it was all my fault. The memories we made, both good and bad, will stay with us forever, and I wouldn't have wanted to spend that wild weekend with anyone else but my amazing wife. l learned a valuable lesson - to be cautious of what I eat and to limit my alcohol intake, especially when traveling. And maybe, just maybe, I'll stick to one or two samples at the distilleries and avoid hot chicken in the future. ​ We were actually able to start laughing about it by the following week - so don't worry about us guys :)
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU: Honeymoon, Nashville TN, Unlimited Whiskey, Leslie Jordan, Flowers for Algernon, Projectile Vomiting, Alcohol Poisoning, Food Poisoning, Taylor Swift, Grand Theft Auto, Feral Cat, Property Damage, No Divorce Edition
None
0
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0.5
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10on2e3/tifu_honeymoon_nashville_tn_unlimited_whiskey/
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BruhImSoTired111
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
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TIFU by throwing my tentacle dildo across the room at my roommate
None
3
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0.91
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10on8jb/tifu_by_throwing_my_tentacle_dildo_across_the/
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promo_adult_nsfw
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[deleted]
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deleted
1676225702
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
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TIFU by buying 5000 MTG cards.
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1.0
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Powermetalbunny
t2_gm392uhc
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1675038123
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1676225700
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So.... I (29f) have many hobbies that I partake in. One is the construction of costumes, cosplay accessories, props etc... and another is collecting Magic the Gathering cards. A couple of towns over from where I live there is a lovely little tabletop, board and card game shop that I like to frequent and inside this shop is a consignment case. Now this consignment case started off as a way for their patrons to give their armies, cards, used bord games and the like a second life. The seller puts a price on their item, the store puts it in the case and then another customer comes along, buys it, the store keeps 10% of the profit as a consignment fee, and the rest of the funds go to the seller in the form of store credit. It essentially works like an exchange program. Now, I'm a fiend for board and card games, but I can't justify spending hundreds of dollars to expand my collection when I could be spending that money to you know.... live.... specifically in California. This system works quite well for me however, since all I have to do is make something interesting or nerdy enough for someone else to want to buy it and then spend the store credit on whatever I want. I've carved dozens of ornate wands out of tree branches, sewn costume jewelry out of ribbon and beads made all kinds of horn and ear headbands and blah, blah, blah. Usually it sells within a couple of weeks and my latest haul from selling 4 fox ear headbands was just under $70. Cool, let's get some cards! So then my dumb ass noticed that they have a bulk blind box of 2500 MTG cards, pre-owned in varying conditions for $50 and guess what else? Buy one get one free! Cool! I could have saved that extra credit for several brand new draft boosters or a new board game, but the thrill of a 5000 card pull was just too tempting. Gotcha games and cards WILL be the death of me. So I bought two bulk boxes of MTG cards, one draft booster packet and a box of sleeves and only paid $9 out of pocket for the whole shebang. Then on the drive home it hits me.... Where the fuck am I going to put all these cards? Will I need to buy MORE binders? Also how much is it going to cost to sleeve all of the little buggers? (if I keep them all) I'm also very OCD about the way I sort my cards and put them in the binders, so how long is this going to take me? The answers are "Yes," "a lot (just under $650 for that many sleeves)" and "way too long." This could go on forever.... TL;DR: I spent $9 on something it's going to cost me about $700 to store safely.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by buying 5000 MTG cards
None
0
[]
0.73
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10onf40/tifu_by_buying_5000_mtg_cards/
null
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some_ads
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Miserable_0ne
t2_vqrslb59
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1675038357
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self.tifu
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10onidf
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t3_10onidf
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some_ads
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1676225696
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9 days ago, I tried a trial version on LucidChart. It requires your credit card number to use it. So I'm a desperate student who needs to settle an assignment for diagramming. So I inserted my debit card info and promise myself that I would cancel the trial version once it was almost 2 days before the trial ended or so. A few days later, I forgot to cancel the subscription. I accidentally subscribe for 1 year until 28 Jan 2024. It charges me USD94.50 which huge amount of money since I live in Malaysia so the conversion rate is too damn high. I want to refund the money back by emailing their email. Still today I still don't get any response. I really did a grave mistake because I am dumb to give my privilege to a company that offers a trial version with credit card info. Does anyone here know how to get a refund from LucidChart? when I google it, it says there is no refund policy. I'm begging someone can enlighten me to get my money back TL;DR: use the trial version of Lucidchart but requires credit card info. Forgot to cancel the subscription and now I paid accidentally USD94.50.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU when you paid USD94.50 annual subscription after using a free trial at lucidchart
None
0
[]
0.5
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10onidf/tifu_when_you_paid_usd9450_annual_subscription/
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anduin_stormsong
t2_5751h8h8
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1675039257
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10onuoy
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1676225686
3
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Let me explain. Currently at college, and the place I'm currently staying at, which is owned by my aunt has a bathroom that has no toilet. Just a bucket and a faucet. Now why is that the title? Well on some days, when my tummy goes bad, especially on midnights and when I'm lazy, I just remove the cover on the drain and go shit in it and then flush it with water, hoping it goes down somewhere else. Why do I not find the nearest comfort room with a toilet? The toilets here don't have lights, and considering a bad tummyache, I don't exactly have time to walk around and get ready for all that, so yeah. Now I didn't know where the pipes led, and I have a few neighbors as well. I assumed the drains also led to septic tanks as well, hence I was confident doing it multiple times. On good days, I don't do that though. It's just that there are times where u have to go and you don't exactly have the luxury to get a flashlight ready, especially in the middle of the night. Today I got woken up by my aunt (who's also managing the place 'm staying) because my neighbors complained that surprise, surprise, my actions have resulted in them smelling the aftermath of my actions. The drain where my turds actually flow passes through their area and sometimes it gets stuck. The pipes aren't deep underground. It's a classic third-world country setup where the pipes are all exposed and they just kind of dig a small canal where water can go out. They let it pass a few times since well, they assumed it was a dog's doing. But repeated instances of my actions have actually clogged the drainage on the area where they're staying and it was stinking up the place. The neighbor staying in the area where my turds got stuck understood why, since they also assumed the drains flowed to septic tanks, the only exception being, they didn't do what I did. So after I helped them out with my own mess, I was told to just never do it again. But oh man, was that really embarassing as hell. I'm just glad I'm moving out somewhere that's far more accessible to my trips to college. And has lights and a toilet in their comfort room. TL:DR: Flushed shit on drain, shit clogs up surrounding neighbor's drain and gets stuck near their place, stinking up the place around them.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
TIFU by discovering my drain had no septic tank
None
0
[]
0.72
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10onuoy/tifu_by_discovering_my_drain_had_no_septic_tank/
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poo_munch
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1675039320
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1676225686
39
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Obligatory this happened several years ago but I was reminded of it by the recent post about a guy investigating mysterious sounds in a McDonald's bathroom. Like many productive teens I worked a mind numbing job enslaved to that sinister clown. One day my boss came back into the kitchen and said he had an extra job doing some cleaning in the kids playground and that whoever did the job for him could have free meals at that Macca's for a week. Naturally the promise of free food and not having to do my actual job for a bit was a tempting offer and I accepted. That was the fuck up, as I entered the playground a very upset woman with her arm round a young lad with down syndrome hurried out of the restaurant with a look in her eyes that conveyed a thousand apologies at once. As it would turn out, what I was set to be cleaning as a 5m skid mark that said down syndrome lad had left curling it's way from the top of the curly tube slide to the bottom. Now, that's not so bad u/poo_munch you might say, just go to the top of the slide and pour water down. Yeah, tried that one, I was too big to actually get through the playground to the top of the slide so I had to slowly inch my way up the curly slide with a dam of paper towels to stop the shit water from cascading down the slide into me. All in all I spent about an hour in that shit stained tunnel and left with a profound appreciation for what Andy Dufresne went through at the end of Shawshank redemption. The real kicker was after I was done my boss added the caveat that I would only get free meals when on shift and the fucker hadn't rostered me on for the rest of the week. Tldr: Accepted a bonus job from my McDonald's boss for free food and got stuck scrubbing shit out of a slide and then got no free food.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305512
public
None
Tifu by accepting a bonus job my from boss
None
0
[]
0.86
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10onvj1/tifu_by_accepting_a_bonus_job_my_from_boss/
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[deleted]
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deleted
1676225630
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[removed]
True
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
public
None
TIFU by not understanding what the nurse wanted me to do with my urine sample
None
0
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1.0
null
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some_ads
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Lumpy_Structure_9760
t2_voyx8593
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1675045145
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305511
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TIFU by not understanding what I was supposed to do with wipes for a urine sample
None
0
[]
1.0
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oq0co/tifu_by_not_understanding_what_i_was_supposed_to/
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dresserfuloftreasure
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1676225594
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TIFU by laying my head down in front of my friend. So my best friend(m 18) of six years and me(nonbinary 18) were hanging out today for his birthday. To be honest we haven’t hung out much in person, outside of class or work, because we mostly just chill on discord. We’ve only recently been able to hang out together one on one, since he just got out of a 4 year long relationship with someone that would have been upset by it. Today it was his birthday and I wanted to hang out with him to just chill for a bit. We got some food and just hung out in my car for hours(because there’s nothing to do in town and our houses are both too chaotic for decent conversation). This guy is someone that I rarely get tired from talking to, unlike most people, but I hadn’t slept much last night so I was pretty tired. We had been talking for a long time, and I genuinely felt like I was gonna fall asleep. This is where I fucked up. I put my forehead on my center console. Without thinking my friend started playing with my hair. At first it was just absent minded, but eventually he started goofing around and parting my hair in silly ways. I don’t know why this freaked me out. We’ve flirted with each other as a joke for YEARS. It’s never been anything more than that before today. And it’s not like him touching me is a new thing either. We’re both fairly physical with each other all the time(leaning on each other or grabbing onto each other), but I guess I hadn’t realized just how touch starved I’ve became since I started taking online classes. My heart rate skyrocketed, so to make a distraction I lifted up my head and shook my hair in his face as a joke. We joked about me messing up his hard work before I put my head back down. He then whispered, “God, if you wanted me to play with your hair more you should just ask.” I honestly froze for a while and he just continued messing with my hair. Eventually, I picked up my head and sarcastically said that he should “buy me a drink before he tries to make me fall in love” with him, to point out the obvious nature of the situation. He just laughed at me and said something along the lines of “we established a long time ago that you love me” (which is a long standing joke of ours about how we never directly say we love each other.) Nothing changed afterwards. It wasn’t awkward or weird. We just continued on as if nothing happened, yet I can’t get it out of my head. Six years of this, and yet somehow I’ve caught feelings after one small gesture. It was also made worse by the rest of our usual flirty comments the rest of the night. At one point I was inches from his face because of a joke we we’re making. He only noticed something weird was up when I hesitated instead of doubling down like I normally do. I guess I was still distracted by what happened earlier. Either way he called me out for acting “tame” and said I really must have been tired. I barely catch feelings for men and yet I’m standing here, dazed and hating my own heart. The worst part is, I know he probably doesn’t feel the same. Even if he did, it wouldn’t matter. He just got out of a long relationship a couple months ago, and definitely doesn’t want another any time soon. This whole thing probably means nothing to him and now I’m overthinking. I just want to get rid of these thoughts so I don’t ruin the best thing that has ever happened to me. TLDR: I laid my head down and let my best friend play with my hair, now I’ve caught feelings and am rethinking my six year long friendship.
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
public
None
TIFU by laying my head down in front of my friend.
None
0
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0.36
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10oqyi8/tifu_by_laying_my_head_down_in_front_of_my_friend/
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[deleted]
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deleted
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[removed]
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t5_2to41
r/tifu
18305510
public
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TIFU by telling my wife I thought our sex was boring
None
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promo_adult_nsfw
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