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for those moviegoers who complain that ` they do n't make movies like they used to anymore

would have liked it more if it had just gone that one step further

the picture runs a mere 84 minutes , but it 's no glance .

to spare wildlife

breezy , distracted rhythms

two guys who desperately want to be quentin tarantino when they grow up

two guys who desperately want to be Quentin Tarantino when they grow up

an admittedly middling film

seagal , who looks more like danny aiello these days

dope

drug

war movies

it 's a frightful vanity film that , no doubt , pays off what debt miramax felt they owed to benigni .

it's a chilling vanity film that, without question, repays the debt Miramax felt it owed to Benigni.

required to give this comic slugfest some heart

lead a group of talented friends astray

lead a group of talented friends astray

it forces you to watch people doing unpleasant things to each other and themselves

it forces you to watch people do nasty things to each other and themselves

the intimate , unguarded moments of folks who live in unusual homes --

moonlight mile should strike a nerve in many .

vein

that might have made it an exhilarating

should be poignant

haute

it 's the little nuances that perhaps had to escape from director mark romanek 's self-conscious scrutiny to happen , that finally get under your skin

come close to the level of intelligence and visual splendor that can be seen in other films

approaching the level of intelligence and visual splendor that can be seen in other films

some writer dude , i think his name was , uh , michael zaidan , was supposed to have like written the screenplay or something , but , dude

so skeeved out that they 'd need a shower

so left out they need a shower

though the film is well-intentioned , one could rent the original and get the same love story and parable .

although the film is well-intentioned, one could rent the original and get the same love story and parable.

wickedly undramatic

terribly undramatic

to watch too many barney videos

watching too many Barney videos

4ever has the same sledgehammer appeal as pokemon videos ,

the moral shrapnel and mental shellshock will linger long after this film has ended .

the moral outbursts and mental shock will linger long after this film ends.

one-hour mark

ms. paltrow employs to authenticate her british persona

be half as entertaining as it is

come along that turns me into that annoying specimen of humanity that i usually dread encountering the most - the fanboy

come on, it turns me into that annoying specimen of humanity that I most usually dread meeting - the fanboy

, cry and realize ,

tear your eyes away

tear out your eyes

missing from the girls ' big-screen blowout

missing from the girls' blowout on the big screen

in recompense : a few early laughs scattered around a plot

a little-remembered world

to shine through the gloomy film noir veil

a text to ` lick ,

avoid the ghetto of sentimental chick-flicks by treating female follies with a satirical style

avoid the ghetto of sentimental chick flicks by treating female follies with a satirical style

combines improbable melodrama ( gored bullfighters , comatose ballerinas ) with subtly kinky bedside vigils and sensational denouements , and yet at the end

the imagined glory of their own pasts

of menacing atmosphere

what might have been readily dismissed as the tiresome rant of an aging filmmaker still thumbing his nose at convention takes a surprising , subtle turn at the midway point .

the better video-game-based flicks ,

the best movies based on video games,

if a big musical number like ` praise the lord , he 's the god of second chances ' does n't put you off

is almost

of day by concentrating on the elements of a revealing alienation among a culture of people who sadly are at hostile odds with one another through recklessness and retaliation

of the day by focusing on the elements of a revealing alienation within a culture of people who are unfortunately at odds with each other through recklessness and retaliation

wang )

did n't sell many records but

I haven't sold many records but

the under-7 crowd

issue a moratorium , effective immediately , on treacly films about inspirational prep-school professors and the children they so heartwarmingly motivate

issue a moratorium, effective immediately, on sensitive films about inspiring prep school teachers and the children they so warmly motivate

, uncompromising

if oscar had a category called best bad film you thought was going to be really awful but was n't

If Oscar had a category called best bad film, you'd think it was going to be really awful but that wasn't the case.

by movies ' end you 'll swear you are wet in some places and feel sand creeping in others

by the end of the movie, you'll swear you're wet in some places and can feel the sand seeping in others.

sit through -- despite some first-rate performances

stay seated - despite some top-notch performances

none of this is meaningful or memorable , but frosting is n't , either , and you would n't turn down a big bowl of that , would you ?

should come with the warning `` for serious film buffs only ! ''

should come with the disclaimer “for serious movie buffs only!” ''

bitter nor sweet

linklater

if the man from elysian fields is doomed by its smallness

if the man of the Elysian fields is condemned by his smallness

every once in a while , a movie will come along that turns me into that annoying specimen of humanity that i usually dread encountering the most - the fanboy

touched by an unprecedented tragedy

affected by an unprecedented tragedy

includes battlefield earth and showgirls

includes Battlefield Earth and Showgirls

that begins as a seven rip-off , only to switch to a mix of the shining , the thing , and any naked teenagers horror flick from the 1980s

it starts off as a seven rip-off, only to move into a mix of glossy, thingy, and any 1980s naked teen horror movie.

from a television monitor

, assured of the wrong things , and scared to admit how much they may really need the company of others

, assured of bad things and afraid to admit how much they may actually need the company of others

edits

i honestly never knew what the hell was coming next

wendigo wants to be a monster movie for the art-house crowd

Wendigo wants to be a monster movie for arthouse fans

be smarter than any 50 other filmmakers still

talky , artificial and opaque ... an interesting technical exercise

chatty, artificial and opaque...an interesting technical exercise

a brazil-like , hyper-real satire

parts seem like they were lifted from terry gilliam 's subconscious , pressed through kafka 's meat grinder and into buñuel 's casings

genuinely unnerving

really annoying

you come from a family that eats , meddles , argues , laughs , kibbitzes and fights together

you come from a family that eats, mingles, argues, laughs, kibbits and fights together

a strong and confident work which works so well for the first 89 minutes , but ends so horrendously confusing

once again strands his superb performers in the same old story .

once again finds its superb performers in the same old story.

(

is just too easy to be genuinely satisfying

it's just too easy to be truly satisfying

seeking an existent anti-virus

of our most conservative and hidebound movie-making traditions

of our most conservative and hidden cinematic traditions

to give the audience a reason to want to put for that effort

that might have made no such thing

maybe it wouldn't have done anything like that

a piece of mildly entertaining , inoffensive fluff that drifts aimlessly for 90 minutes before lodging in the cracks of that ever-growing category : unembarrassing but unmemorable

occasion

hollywood disregard

contempt of Hollywood

lawrence unleashes his trademark misogyny -- er , comedy -- like a human volcano or an overflowing septic tank ,

Lawrence unleashes his trademark misogyny -- er, comedy -- like a human volcano or an overflowing septic tank,

that is the recording industry in the current climate of mergers and downsizing

is laughingly

is more accurately chabrolian .

at a snail 's pace

at a snail's pace

get weird ,

complaining when a film clocks in around 90 minutes these days

crime drama

's tv sitcom material at best

TV sitcom material at its best

pungent bite

had more to do with imagination than market research

if the essence of magic is its make-believe promise of life that soars above the material realm , this is the opposite of a truly magical movie .

If the essence of magic is its imagined promise of life rising above the material realm, this is the opposite of a truly magical film.