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Her: No kids, no tattoos, ran into many curbs, never been to prison LOL. Her: Any more questions? Student:Yeah, what's your deepest darkest secret?

Kidding, but should I be scared to be in a car with you while driving?

These messages break up the usual boring get to know you conversations that usually happen on dating apps and make it more interesting and fun.

Her: Noo Her: I’ve never got a ticket haha Her: What’s your deepest darkest secret?

haha so you just never got caught, got it. My deepest darkest secret is that I secretly find black girls named (Mishal) really attractive, don't judge me;) hbu?

This message is a more fun/ interesting way to pay the girl a compliment instead of just saying that he finds her attractive.

Her: How’s your day going ? Student: Just woke up from a nap, got stories scheduled for next week Her: That’s good babe. Any plans for the rest of the night or just relaxing Student: Just relaxing, prob watch some baseball. Trying to plan this trip with my friends to go to florida at the end of the month Her: Not going with me ?

We can go sometime babe 😘, this one’s for the boys

This message does well to set a boundary, which is important especially early in a relationship.

Student: Long Beach? Her: yes I'm out here Student: Ahh you seem like a Long Beach girl. Her: Now what does that mean? Student: You like the beach, driving boats, and raving. That screams LB chick! Her: I don't know girls out here that like to rave, they're all in the IE!

Haha glad to hear you aren’t one of them.. Tell all these day trippers at the Queen Mary they need to leave ;)Anyway, had to slide into the DM’s to see what that fun bubbly vibe ws all about

This message provides a reason for him messaging her in the first place without coming across as weird or creepy.

Her: And what’s the verdict?

So far so good.. Might have to see in person before giving you the final verdict

This message seeds the idea of an in-person meet up.

Her: Hmm okay Her: Let’s see when that’ll happen

Shoot me your number and we’ll iron out the details

It is good to get the girl’s number and move the conversation off the social media app as this requires a certain level of ivestment from the girl.

Student: Hey Lesli, it’s Javier the cute raver Her: hey hey what’s up Student: Do you drink wine ? Her: Yes I do

Just making sure. My buddy sent me a bottle of Caymus, SO good.Anyway, make sure you saved the number ;)

Her: I’ve actually never tried that wine Her: hmm I did save it but your texts are sending through your email lmao

Lol perfect.. I’ll email you this weekendI might be able to save a little for you

Her: u truly suck at texting Student: What do you mean lol? I was busy, but anyway i’m thinking mini golf and a drive in movie Her: hahahah it’s fine I am too so I have no room to talk. I am usually not this persistent at texting Her: but I like that

It’s ok if you can’t control yourself around meYou just have to be good until Saturday ;)

These messages do well to put the student in the buyers frame, implying she can’t wait to meet up with him again.

Her: BAHAHAHAH STOP Her: you wish 😆 Her: i have seen you a singular time don’t get too excited

Don’t get too excited, coming from the chick that double text me haha ;). But, you’re cute so it’s all good

This is a good method of flirting as it suggests that she is the one who is excited which she might see as negative but ends in a compliment.

Her: I 100% want a psychoanalysis

Analysis: Cute but will slash your tires if upsetHow’d I do

This message is broad and could apply to millions of girls.

Student: Hey Anna I like your style 👌 Her: Hey, I like yours too 👍 and nice hair! Student: Thanks, I wonder how well our styles would mix Her: It could work Student: You don’t sound confident Her: That’s the problem with messages, can’t tell how something is meant to come across

maybe voice notes would be better then so we don’t have a breakdown in communication. Then we might never get to our first date. Wouldn’t that be tragic.

This message is a good excuse to send a voice message. Voice messages are useful because they can humanize you. It is likely the girl is getting a lot of messages on dating apps and other messages but sending voice messages can set you apart from the crowd by doing something most men don’t and by making you more real, not just words on a screen.

Her: (Sent as a voice message) So I’m not a fan of voice notes but I guess I led myself into that. What were you thinking for the first date?

I was thinking you, me, a bottle of wine, laughs, teases, neck kisses, that sort of thing. Vibing and building chemistry

This message is good to use when talking about what will happen on the date. It shows the girl that you are emotionally mature as you want to vibe and build chemistry before anything happens but there is a sexual undertone and there is no ambiguity about it being a date when you mention teases and neck kisses.

Her: Sounds like a lovely evening Her: I could get on board with that Student: Shoot me your number and we’ll organize it Student: Wait, are you a red or white girl first? Her: That cannot be a dealbreaker Her: Unless you drink rose Her: (Gives her phone number) Student: Messaged Student: Hey Anna, it’s Alfie from the thing Student: Don’t worry, not a rosè drinker Her: oh that thing Her: I didn’t think you would be, I bet you’re a red wine drinker though Her: How’s your day been?

I am a red wine drinker, you know me so well already lol

This message implies a level of familiarity and closeness between the girl and the student.

Student: Day has been great, been at uni, then gym, currently making dinner, you? Her: lol Classy Her: That’s very positive for a Tuesday. What do you do at uni? Her: Just been working, going to to the gym soon Student: I’m a classy guy haha Student: Getting my teaching qualification. What do you do? Her: I’m sure you are 👀 Her: Ooh okay, when will you finish? I’m a doctor. Wish I was still at uni 😢

You’ll find out soon enough ;)

This message seeds the date again after setting it up on Hinge.

Student: finish in july. It’s been a stressful few weeks, can’t wait for the easter holidays lol

a doctor? You out here saving lives

This message is a slight exaggeration but pays her a compliment in a more lighthearted way.

Her: When will that be then? 😉 why has it been stressful have you had deadlines? Easter holidays lol I remember those 😭 do you get two weeks off? Haha yes, except when we’re on strike

Depends, what’s your schedule like?

This is a very simple message that begins arranging the date.

Student: Deadlines, placement, kids attacking me, yanno the usual stuff. Yeah a couple of weeks but it’s going to be full of essay writing.

You’ll have to tell me more about that on our date

This message seeds the date.

Her: Potentially free this weekend, then I have quite a bit of free time next thursday onwards, what about you? Sounds fun, how old are the kids, are they putting you in your place… ah, well i have an exam coming up, maybe we could have a productive time together

Potentially?

This message calls out the fact that the girl is being unclear with her intentions. If this kind of thing is called out, you may find a genuine reason for her apprehension in meeting up or just a scheduling issue that can be overcome.

Student: Kids are year 3-6. They try lol but it’s always the small ones you can lift with one finger that act all hard Her: Woman of mystery. When are you free? Well I hope you’re not lifting kids when you’re on placement lol Student: Free maybe saturday & sunday eve this weekend. No lol not about to start wrestling kids Her: Okay, Thursday is probably best for me but that might be too long for you to wait… I could be tempted by this weekend, busy Friday night and Saturday day currently Student: We could do saturday night Her: Where would you fancy going?

Ever been to (name of venue)?

This message baby steps towards the close. You should allow the girl to say yes to each step individually to minimize flaking.

Her: Yeah, only sat outside for drinks though Student: it’s nice there, good wine Her: Sounds good to me, could go there or anywhere in town. Do you live in the center? I’m busy until about 6, could probably make it into town for 7 Student: Sounds good, shall we say 7:30? Living in Prestwich atm. You? Her: Yeah should be ok! Staylybridge if you know where that is lol Student: Great Student: I know the name, think i played football there a few times Her: I didn’t think you looked like the type to play football 😅 Her: You doing anything today?

I’m full of surprises 😉

This sort of message can imply that there is more to you than meets the eye. It can make her more excited to meet you in person.

Student: Got to the gym this morning but just having a chill day before some very intense essay writing starting monday. You? Her: Ahah, better make the most of this weekend then… so I’m currently at the theater lol it’s on for longer than I expected, can we meet at 8 instead? Student: Nice, you’ll have to tell me about it later. 8 works for me Her: cool, I’ll be getting the train to town, gets in at 7:55, wanna meet somewhere near there? Student: That’s fine, can meet at the station and walk over to the venue Her: see ya soon Student: see you soon Her: off the train now where shall I walk to? Student: Uber dropping me off outside the station in 5 mins Her: okay I’ll wait inside

Hey (her name) last night was fun

This is a good message to send to the girl the day after a date to reopen, start conversation and move towards the next date.

Her: Hey (student’s name) yeah i really enjoyed it, even if you did persuade me to let you come back to mine

Not sure I had to persuade you 😉 we should get together again sometime soon

This message contains some callback humor to the date and suggests meeting up for a second date.

Her: Well I tried to play it cool 👀 we should, maybe over the weekend?

Let’s do it, is there a day that works best for you?

This message moves into the logistics of setting up the date.

Her: Not the saturday night but pretty much free otherwise, when’s good for you? You said you might be seeing family? Her: Actually I could do the saturday so yeah any time really from thursday onwards Student: Yeah I don’t think I’m going to see family, need to focus on work so don’t want to take 3 days off that. Shall we do friday? Her: Yeah 3 days is a lot to commit lol. Friday is good with me 😊 have you got anything in mind? Student: Great, shall we go for some food Her: Yes please, town again or? Prestwich? Stayleybridge?

I was going to say town again or is there somewhere you’re dying to show me in Stalybridge? 😉

This message is a slight tease, implying that she wants to impress the student on their next date.

Her: Well there are many hidden gems, maybe one day 😉 let’s do town Her: How was day one of productivity? Student: I’ll hold you to that 😉 I’ll show you some gems in Prestwich in return. Let’s do town this time then Her: So tell me, are you actually a doctor? Student: I’m in school studying to be one.. Soon enough Her: Is that you’re dream job? Student: It is, what about you’re dream job ? Her: To be a painter in Italy, but that will probably never happen so i’m looking for a graphic design job haha

That is a dream, I could be your muse

Her: hahaha sure you can

I’ll expect my first portrait on our date

Her: What’s something on your bucket list?

I bet you use that line on all the cute guys ;)

This is a good message to use if the girl messages first and is particularly good when used on Bumble. It challenges her while also framing you as a cute guy.

Her: A make or break answer really 😂

Always wanted to travel to italy. Been to parts of Europe, a lot of mexico, want to skydive, and maybe add drinks with a cute brunette called (her name), you?

Adding her to your bucket list is just a fun way of saying you’re attracted to her and shows intent.

Her: That’s the exact same as me!! I want to skydive but i’m scared haha. I would love to go to italy one day too Her: She is half blonde I'm afraid. Might want to change that on the bucket list

We could make perfect travel buddies Sounds like the best of both world to me 😏

This message implies future projection of potential activities but the ‘could’ means she still has to win you over. This message passes her slight shit test by staying calm and turning it into a compliment.

Her: Ideal plan right there Her: What are the top 3 places you want to visit? Student: Kenya, Thailand, California, Bali. You ? Her: Thailand, Mykonos, Greece, New York, and Australia. Definitely others, but these are my main ones.

We should do Thailand together. We’ll plan it on our first date

This message begins to seed the idea of a first date.

Her: Don’t have to ask me twice to go on vacation haha. So, whens the date? Student: You free friday ? Her: Yes, what do you have in mind? Student: I know a good wine bar near downtown Her: You’re gonna hate me Her: I’m not a big wine girl lol

Oh (her name), maybe this won’t work after all lol. What’s your go to drink?

This message is challenging and puts the student in the buyers frame.

Her: I really want to know. The devil emoji is enticing. Is it a dirty thought or something about going to hell, I need to know

Well that all depends. Are you the sexually open minded type of girl?

This message gets consent from the girl about moving forward with sexualising the conversation. It asks in a challenging way if she is open to talking about sex on the dating app.

Her: I would say so.. Are you the sexually open minded type of guy ? Student: Mhm, glad you’re as well ;) Her: So am I hearing the shower thought?

Only if you say please

This message gets consent from the girl about moving forward with sexualising the conversation but it also establishes a dominant frame.

Her: Fucks sake, this better be good Her: Please 💜

Me bending (her name) over my bed, grabbing a fistful of her hair and..

The aim of this message is to give her just enough of the sexual fantasy for her to imagine me doing these things to her but also allows her to fill in the blanks if she wants to. It also prompts her to ask for more, allowing you to go deeper into the sexualisation.

Student: Hey (her name) Her: Hey (student name) Student: How’s your Thursday been treating you ? Her: Not bad, just got home from work, exhausted Her: What about you ? Student: Shit.. what do you do ?

Sounds like you could use some stress relief” This message is a good segway into asking for the date. Can usually be followed up with “I hear drinks with a handsome, (something else about their physical appearance, hobbies, job) man does wonders for stressI’m great, just got home from my brothers birthday, but still managed to get a workout in this morning, looking nice and sharp for our date

This message is a good segway into asking for the date. Can usually be followed up with “I hear drinks with a handsome, (something else about their physical appearance, hobbies, job) man does wonders for stress This message dhv’s while also bringing up the idea for the date.

Her: I’m a nurse. Her: The only stress relief tonight is vodka and bed haha Her: Where is home ? Pumping the guns for the bid day ? I assure you i will not be doing the same haha Student: Orange county is home. As long as you pick a cute outfit you should be okay Her: hahaha should be ok ?? Student: It’s all good then Student: So tell me a bit about yourself (her name). Any weird tattoos? Kids? Fun Kinks? Crazy hobbies? Her: hmm I always feel like I’m boring answering these types of questions. I work a lot and let loose a little on the weekend. Lots of little tattoos but all of them mean nothing to me Her: Kinks is a great question but definitely one for real life chat Her: What about you ? Musically inclined I see Student: I like tattoos, are you at the point where you stopped counting ? I have 6. Student: That’s fair, we can discuss kinks on Wednesday. Ya, I play guitar, love reading, writing, and exercising. Her: I think 9-10 but stopped counting. People like you make me feel guilty, creative, healthy, and all. What are your flaws?

I’m a sucker for girls with lots of tattoos. The more the merrier. No flaws here btw haha

This message gives the girl some validation while being curt and succinct.

Her: Ya, lots of random doodles, forget I have them honestly. Completely flawless and perfect huh?

Absolutely. I could maybe do with a few more tattoos if we are being picky

This message is slightly sarcastic but works because it gives false modesty.

Her: A few more for yourself or a few more on a girl? Her: Just re-read, and got it Student: I meant me, but don’t let that stop you from getting more haha Her: Oh trust me, you couldn’t stop me from doing anything

Cute, we’ll see when you’re handcuffed to the bed

This message is bold but establishes a sexual frame and asserts dominance.

Her: Cute, haha fuck off you’re 24. You’re cute Her: But ya, handcuffing sounds right up my alley

i’ll be sure to add handcuffing to tomorrow nights agenda

Her: Oh what else is on the agenda?

You, me, a bottle of wine, laughs, teases, neck kisses. That sort of thing. Vibe and build chemistry

This is a good message to send whenever a girl asks what you will be doing on the date. It shows the girl that you are emotionally mature as you want to vibe and build chemistry before anything happens but there is a sexual undertone and there is no ambiguity about it being a date when you mention teases and neck kisses.

Her: That sounds very nice Her: Tell me a bit more Her: Oh and I don’t drink wine or whisky, anything else is fine

We can swap out the bottle of wine. That and pulling you close and letting our lips touch, but not kiss

This message builds the sexual tension.

Her: Gave me butterflies in my stomach. Can’t wait to see what else you’ve got

Think you can handle all that?

Slightly challenging towards the girl but also gets consent from her.

Her: I enjoy your cockiness Her: How do you know you can handle me ?

Not cocky, just confident. We will have some fun

This message is short and succinct and gets across the student’s level of confidence.

Her: Do you eat the crust on the pizza?

How do you think my hair got so curly

This is a lighthearted response. It’s a common story that eating the crusts gives you curly hair and the student had curly hair. He could have answered the question more logically but this was more fun and opened up another route of conversation as she also had curly hair.

Her: You have a point, however my hair isn’t curly and I rarely eat crust

Hmm, maybe you’re a medical marvel

This is a funny exaggeration of the joke because everyone knows that eating the crusts doesn’t make your hair curly but this message goes along with the joke that was established in the previous message.

Her: In that I survived so long while being this dumb, absolutely! But we definitely need more research on the crust curl situation

I’m sure we can carry out some of that research on our date

It is good to briefly mention the idea of a date when talking to a girl on a dating app as it is the only reason to be on there but so many men have conversations that are too long and lead nowhere.

Her: Strictly for data gathering purposes, correct?

Of course, I don’t want to see any funny stuff from you

This message turns around the idea that it is usually the man who wants to have sex as soon as possible and puts the girl into that frame instead, implying that she just wants to have sex. It can also be powerful, as the man, to deny sex up front as it is usually the girl who will do this.

Her: I can promise to put on my most serious face Her: The issue is the thought of that cracks me up Student: Data gathering or going on a date Her: Me being serious Student: Glad you don’t take yourself too seriously Her: appreciating the utter silliness of everything makes everything a lil better, for sure Her: Couldn’t avoid it anyway tbh Student: Couldn’t agree more Student: So give me the basics. Any kids? Tattoos? Fun kinks? Crazy hobbies? Her: No kids, no tattoos although I do wish I could be cannot, kinks are pretty chill as far as kinks go, and unluckily enough I could say the same about my hobbies! Her: Not really selling myself here, I can see that 😂 Her: Also very sorry, I’m at work so reply times may be random, I apologise Her: But do give me your breakdown Student: What’s stopping you getting tattoos? Student: No kids, 6 tatts, kinks the usual spanking, hair pulling, choking etc, and I play guitar, read, write, gym and run Her: I studied acting and still somehow not given up on the idea, so it’s more or less for employability. We’ll see. Her: What’s the direction those go though? Her: The kinks, that is 😂 Student: I respect you keeping the dream alive, I’m in a similar boat with music Student: They’re interchangeable, did you have a preference? Her: May they come true Her: I mean, you know, I’m as much of a switch as the next guy but that’s cause we’re adults, however I do prefer the other person or people to lead ngl Student: I don’t mind switching from time to time but I definitely prefer taking the lead Her: Oh lucky us

Seems we’ve found our perfect matches

This message can be good when you find something you have in common with a girl and imply that you are perfect for each other.

Her: If only it were that easy huh Her: Had a good day? Student: Great thanks, had a mock interview in uni, went for a run, repotted a couple of plants and cooked dinner, you? Her: Sounds fab! Oddly enough, I’ve also repotted some plants because I had the day off, but chilled most of it Student: Sounds good, always enjoy meeting people who also like plants. How many you got? Her: Never actually counted them Her: Atm I’m struggling to not have them pass out cause of the cold Her: but wbu, how many leafy bois Student: It’s a hard but rewarding life being a plant parent. I’ve got 10 atm just got a Venus fly trap for my birthday last weekend Her: Omg did you name it Student: Do you name all your plants? Her: My friends and flatmate name them for me but we immediately forget the names 😂 Her: There’s a little chopstick that says Felix, that’s the only reliable one, and that chopstick is half buried in the soil of one of the pots. The issue is the pot has two plants in it, no one knows who tf Felix is

Can’t believe you forget your plants names, bet they feel super neglected lolYou like wine btw?

The conversation felt like it was getting too nice/ bland/ boring so this tease creates a small negative spike in her emotions, making the conversation a little more interesting. The conversation had been going on for a while at this point and, generally, you want to move the girl over to texting/ Whatsapp/ iMessage as soon as possible. This message is a good start to the process leading up to ask her on a date.

Her: 😢 Her: Not my go to but I don’t dislike it

What’s your go to?

When you get this response to the wine close it is simpler to ask her what her favorite drink is. Don’t try to force wine on her and don’t overcomplicate things.

Her: Ruuuuuum Her: I don’t really drink all that much though

That’s okay, I’m not a big drinker either. We can still laugh, flirt and build chemistry while being sober

The aim of this message is to establish the idea of a date and create a man-to-woman frame.

Her: Sorry for falling off the face of the earth, went home and it was mad Her: I hope you’ve been ok though

No worries, I’ve been good. Busy but that’s how I like itHow have you been?

Since the girl hadn’t responded in a while, the aim of this message is to show that you are unaffected by her absence with a slight display of higher value that you have other things going on in your life.

Her: I’m very glad Her: I wanna say I rested a bit while at home but that’s a big ol lie Her: I feel alright though, and got a few days off this week so I’m not being thrown straight back into the deep end of insanity and work and all Her: What have you been up to? Student: Fair enough lol where’s home? I’ve had a couple of gigs, started my 2nd placement at uni so that’s been pretty full on and still managed to have a social life as well Her: Home is Bucharest, in Romania. Sounds like you’ve been doing super well! I’m glad Student: wow how come you’re in manchester? Student: Yeah, I’ll tell you in more detail over drinks Student: Thinking hard about that I see Her: It’s been absolutely hysterical, sorry Student: good hysterical? Her: Busy and too much kinda hysterical

Sounds like you could use some stress relief” This message is a good way to move towards a date. Women usually agree with this statement so a good follow up to this would be “I hear drinks with a handsome, (something else about their physical appearance, hobbies, job) man does wonders for stress

This message is a good way to move towards a date. Women usually agree with this statement so a good follow up to this would be “I hear drinks with a handsome, (something else about their physical appearance, hobbies, job) man does wonders for stress

Her: You’re not wrong

I hear drinks with a handsome curly-haired man does wonders for stress” This message is a good reply to “sounds like you could use some stress relief

This message is a good reply to “sounds like you could use some stress relief

Her: is this method peer-reviewed Her: Academia approved Her: Rated on tripadvisor?

Researched, peer reviewed and widely accepted by the scientific community

This message continues her joke.

Her: I’ll have to take your word for it, i suppose Student: You’re a rum girl if I remember correctly? Her: Am indeed

We should split a bottle sometime soon” This message moves forward with the idea of a date and meeting up in person. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ is good to use as it is ambiguous and open to interpretation. It is usually better than suggesting a specific day to meet up as that particular day may not work for her. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ allows for you to open the dialogue of when the date will happen and should often precede the message “What’s your schedule like?

This message moves forward with the idea of a date and meeting up in person. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ is good to use as it is ambiguous and open to interpretation. It is usually better than suggesting a specific day to meet up as that particular day may not work for her. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ allows for you to open the dialogue of when the date will happen and should often precede the message “What’s your schedule like?

Her: Most definitely, the only issue is I’m ont free for the next week or so

No worries, I’m sure our potential romance can stand the test of timeShoot me your number and we’ll sort it

This message can come across as corny but is funny most of the time. It shows the girl that you aren’t overly eager to meet up and you have patience. It is usually best to move a girl off the dating app and get her number.

Her: Romance HAH

Potential romance*

This message shows that you are cool, collected and not sold on her yet by drawing attention to the fact that your previous message talked about potential romance, not romance.

Her: Awful 😂 Her: (phone number)

Messaged

It can be useful to send this message on the dating app after messaging her number. Sometimes texts don’t go through, get lost among others or she exclusively uses WhatsApp when you sent her an iMessage. This message just lets her know you are still interested and that you have followed up after her giving you her number.

Student: You look like my future ex wife 😏 Her: You look like you know how to show a woman a good time Her: As an artist, it’s always seemed right that I marry a musician 🤔 you can be my muse Her: Until we have an expensive divorce and there’s fights over who gets to keep the nicely glazed ceramic plant pots Her: But until that time comes, how’s it going (student’s name)? Student: I definitely enjoy showing women a good time. Love the idea of us being each others muses, it was meant to be Student: I’m great heading to the gym then got some last minute christmas prep to do before I go away tomorrow. You? Her: Got to appreciate a man of musical talent I’m fantastic with a pencil or a paintbrush but the most I could ever play on a guitar was smoke on the water Her: Ooh nice, where are you going away? And good thank you been adding some finishing touches to the ceramics I’ve made for Xmas prezzies, going out for a festive meal with the pals tonight which should be nice Student: I can teach you a little more on our date haha got an air bnb in Rhosneiger til boxing day. Sounds fun, what colour did you paint mine? 😉 Her: Sounds good to me, I’ll trade you in life drawing classes, ah nice I was in an Airbnb in Aberystwyth last weekend was a yurt with a woodfire hot tub was class, haha you don’t strike me as the kind of man who would want a ceramic fairy house incense burner but maybe I’m wrong Student: Isn’t life drawing the one where you pose nude? 😉 Don’t be so quick to judge Sammy Her: It certainly is. I’m intrigued, what's the name of your band? Feel I should check out your sound Student: Sounds like a great first date idea Student: We’re called (name of student’s band) Her: Are you on spotify? Student: We are Student: Where can I see your work since you’re having a nosy at mine? Her: I don’t think you can add photos on here but can add my insta will send some - (her insta)

I’ve given you a follow but I’m not on there much. Shoot me your number as well

They have been on their first date. They went bowling and he beat her in the game. The coach advised he reopen the following day using callback humor relating to the date as this is often the best way to reopen, spark conversation and lead to a second date. Even though they have met in person and you don’t have to put as much work into the lead as before the first date, the student had to keep the lead warm until date number two. This is where the “you picked a cute outfit for our date yet? 😉” works well to reopen the day of the date to check in with her.

hey (girl’s name), you recovered from your crushing defeat yet 😉

This message works as it connects you two in a shared experience. It is also good because it is teasing her about her loss without being too harsh or rude.

Her: I’ve recovered from losing, but throwing the ball behind me… still recovering from that one 😂 Student: They say three times is the charm for a reason, the odds are on your side… Her: Are you saying the next time I play, I’m going to win???

We could find out but I was thinking drinks for our next date

This message works here as, to keep things interesting, it’s usually best to vary the type of dates you take a girl on. It would have been a little weird if they had gone bowling again.

Her: As much as I enjoyed losing to you in bowling, drinks would be a good second date 😉

What’s your schedule look like this week?

The first date went very well so there is no need to do lots of talking/ courting between the first and second date.

Her: Depending on my work schedule, I generally am free most weekdays after 6:30 Her: What about you? Student: I could work with Tuesday around 8pm, how’s that? Her: You wanna do 8pm again? Haha Student: You got a point, we would be missing the end of happy hour Her: Right haha so maybe a little earlier

Let’s do 7:24 then

This message is so specific when arranging the time to be a lighthearted tease.

They have been on their first date. They went bowling and he beat her in the game. The coach advised he reopen the following day using callback humor relating to the date as this is often the best way to reopen, spark conversation and lead to a second date. Even though they have met in person and you don’t have to put as much work into the lead as before the first date, the student had to keep the lead warm until date number two. This is where the “you picked a cute outfit for our date yet? 😉” works well to reopen the day of the date to check in with her.

Awesome, 7:24 at (name of venue) then

This message establishes the overall plan for the date.

Her: See you then haha

Hey (her name), you picked a cute outfit for our date? 😉

You don’t want to set up the date, even a second date, and then not talk the the girl at all before you meet. You need to keep the lead warm. A good way to do this is ask if she picked a cute outfit for their date.

Her: I definitely have a couple of options ☺️

Need help choosing or you gonna surprise me?

This message creates the idea that she wants/ is trying to impress him by what she wears.

Her: I think I’m gonna go with surprise

Keeping the mystery alive 😏

This message creates a flirty tone like she is hiding something explicit from him. It also creates the role play of them being a long married couple who are trying to keep the mystery alive.

Her: Do you happen to need a new gym partner? 😅 🫣 Student: Idk… do you think you can keep up? Her: Possibly 😬 😬 Student: Before I let you spot me give me the basics. Any kids? Tattoos? Fun kinks? Crazy Hobbies? Her: No kids, but I have a dog who is basically my child. Yes tattoos, w another one scheduled in a couple of weeks. And all i do is work bc Iowa is boring 🙃 hbu?

I’m sure we can make Iowa more fun 😏

This message works here because she liked his photo and sent the opening message so there is already some sexual attraction from the girl. However, the message is ambiguous and can be perceived as sexual from the girl or related to some kind of activity. This is a good message to use to hint at the idea of a date.

Her: you think so? Her: got any ideas? Her: was wondering why I ain’t see you anymore 😂 Student: wait… hold up.. You’ve seen me at the gym and didn’t come talk to me Her: Yeaaa i been seen you 😂 1. I get too nervous 2. I ain’t wanna bother you 3. I ain’t know if you single or what so i just assume

alright I’ll give that to you.. But this is what I’m thinking.. You, me, a bottle of wine, laughs, teases, neck kisses, vibing and building chemistry

This message is good to use when talking about what will happen on the date. It shows the girl that you are emotionally mature as you want to vibe and build chemistry before anything happens but there is a sexual undertone and there is no ambiguity about it being a date when you mention teases and neck kisses.

Her: I mean that doesn’t sound too bad 🫣 😉 Student: Hey it’s (student’s name) the cute light skin 😏 Her: oh he’s confident too huhhh

You don’t seem like the type who’s attracted to shy guys

Her: i mean you probably aren’t wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️ Her: what kind of girl do you think i am tho

You seem like a confident girl in general. You have a nice smile btw. You probably intimidate a lot of guys because of your looks which I imagine gets frustrating because deep down you’re actually quite submissive but only for the right guy

Her: ok you’re pretty good, i’ll give it to you

You like wine?” This message is great to use when the vibe in the conversation is good and it is time to move towards setting up the date. Girls usually like wine and, if they don’t you can follow up with “what’s your preferred drink?”. This message should usually come before saying “we should split a bottle sometime soon”. This message can be edited to use something other than wine depending on what fits the conversation. For example, “you like bowling?”, “you like vodka?” or “you like ice cream?

This message is great to use when the vibe in the conversation is good and it is time to move towards setting up the date. Girls usually like wine and, if they don’t you can follow up with “what’s your preferred drink?

Her: depends on the kind

How’s moscato, white wine?

Her: not bad. Is that your favorite? Student: Yes ma’am… risata moscato.. The blue bottle Her: yea that ain’t bad Her: i usually drink stella rose

We should split a bottle sometime soon” This message moves forward with the idea of a date and meeting up in person. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ is good to use as it is ambiguous and open to interpretation. It is usually better than suggesting a specific day to meet up as that particular day may not work for her. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ allows for you to open the dialogue of when the date will happen and should often precede the message “What’s your schedule like?

This message moves forward with the idea of a date and meeting up in person. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ is good to use as it is ambiguous and open to interpretation. It is usually better than suggesting a specific day to meet up as that particular day may not work for her. The phrase ‘sometime soon’ allows for you to open the dialogue of when the date will happen and should often precede the message “What’s your schedule like?

Her: I’m down 😌 Her: What’s your schedule like Her: except i am a lil salty i noticed you at the gym but you ain’t notice me sooo

I’m sure we’ll make up for that on our date 😉 I’m free Sunday or Monday , you?

This message brings up the idea of their impending date. This is often a good message to use when something small but negative has happened such as not noticing her in the gym. The implication is that they will make up for the missed conversation they could have had in the gym during their date.

Her: whatever you sayyy and i work this weekend but might be able to make monday work Student: Alright Monday.. You..me.. And a bottle of wine Her: sounds fun 😉 Her: tell me about you tho

What would you like to know?

This briefly puts the burden of leading conversation on her which is okay to do sometimes

Her: everything Student: Of course.. For you I’d even be willing to give you private lessons 😏 Her: oooo really 😇 Her: we can practice in my pool Student: Sounds like a plan.. Ima teach you all the strokes.. My favorite is breaststroke Her: Interestinggg why’s that

It’s the most efficient way to move through the water, get your mind out of the gutter 😉

This message takes the idea that he is thinking about sex with his breaststroke message and frames the girl as the one who is thinking about sex, stealing the frame in the student’s favor.

Her: My mind wasn’t in the gutter i ain’t got no breasts to stroke anyways 😂 😉

That doesn’t worry me 😉

Her previous message about having no breasts could be an insecurity she has so this message lets her know, in a way that is calm, cool and succinct.

Her: hiii Student: Cute, dyed hair, and nose piercings, what’s the catch? Her: I just chopped my hair super short like 2 hours ago and it looks really bad lol, that’s the catch

well I’m sure you’re still cute ;) but with all these hair changes I hope you’re not going through some kind of mental breakdown haha

This message works as it is a joke/ tease based on the idea that women change their hair when they are going through a tough time.

Her: nah it’s just fun lol Her: i get bored of how it looks n do something else Student: What would you say is your favorite scene in cars? Her: sally and lightening cruise, tractor tipping, the peterbilt moment, when sh-boom by the chords plays, doc whipping around willy’s butte, and when lightning pushes the king to the finish line Student: the scene i can remember is when lightning did a pitstop, guido did it really fast and chick hick crew drop their grills. Her: thats a great scene too Student: so tell me what do you think makes your chicken tender and mozzarella spot the best? Her: it’s just simply delicious. Plus it’s on the beach and it’s the only yorktown pub on this planet Student: getting food and having a beach picnic is always a great first date Her: absolutely

I’ll be sure to add beach picnic to our dates agenda

This message is a good way to seed the date if you and the girl are talking about things you both like.

Her: although beach picnic right now doesn’t sound very fun, tooooo cold Student: that’s not a worry jackets exist, or sit in the car with the heater on, music playing, people watching and the ocean right in front of us Her: THAT’S MY FAVORITE Her: eating in the car from the beachfront parking lot Student: what music do you prefer whilst sitting in the car? Her: Depends on the mood Her: 80% of the time want $uicideboy$ playing Student: I have a 22 hour playlist mainly $uicideboy$, night lovell and pouya Her: but other times I want rock, indie, alt, my party playlist, 2010 pop songs, or country Her: ok marry me then Student: Bruh Student: We share the exact same music Her: it’s meant to be, plus you’re in the navy, favorite branch by far

You have exceptional taste, shoot me your number for romance arrangement purposes

At this point in the interaction there is enough positive back and forth between the girl and the student that he can go for the number close without getting rejected. Also saying she has exceptional taste when talking about the student himself shows a good level of cocky humor.

The student matched with this girl on Tinder. This messaging sequence uses a role play involving the girl and the student being a divorced couple. The girl does ghost part way through so the student has to reopen the conversation. The interaction ends with the student getting the girl’s phone number and moving the conversation off the app.

You look like my future ex wife 😏

This is a playful way to start conversation. It can also lead into fun role plays about you and the girl being married, getting divorced and the reasons behind the divorce.

Her: hahahahahah oh cute Her: Can’t wait to get divorced 😏

We’re getting a prenup and I’m keeping the dog

This message continues the joke from the opener while teasing her by implying that the student will win the breakup.

Her: Nooooo I want the dog 🥺 Her: Can we have shared custody of it Student: No, I’ve seen you kick him after a tough day at work. I won’t allow it Her: That was only 1 time 🙁 Her: Saw you try and put him in the microwave once

He’s a labrador, how on earth would he have fit in the microwave?? This is why it never worked between us (her name)

This message works as a continuation of the joke while also framing the student as the one who initiated the break up, putting him in the position of power.

Her: Hahahahaha i don’t know you’re the one trying to fit him in there!! Her: yeah I’m glad we got divorced Her: You look cool Her: I enjoy your hair Her: Probably doesn't make up for the fact that you kick dogs but it’s still cool Student: I’m going to read between the lines and take the compliment there lol

If you play your cards right I might let you touch the hair on our date 😉

This message is a great way to move the interaction forward/ transition the conversation to setting up the date.

Her: hahahahahha Her: Yeah there’s a compliment in there somewhere Her: and ooooo how exciting Her: How do I play my cards right 🥺 🥺

Let’s start with wine, laughs, teases, neck kisses, vibing, building chemistry and go from there 😉

This message works well to paint a picture of what her experience on the date will be like. You appear emotionally mature, confident and fun.

Her: Hahahahahahaha oh cute Her: Where should we go for wine xxxx Her: So we go for wine and have a laugh, tease each other, kiss each other’s necks, vibe, build chemistry Her: and THEN I can touch your hair ? Her: Sounds like a good deal to me xxxx Student: Where are you based?

Only if there’s chemistry, I’m not that easy 😉

This message comes off high value as you are showing that you are selective with women and it gives her the chance to qualify herself.

Her: I live in (location) Her: Where do you live? Her: And omg yeah don’t worry I’ll bring my tes tube x

I know a couple of good wine places in town if you’re down

This message is a nice way to baby step towards the close. It’s not specific and chilled.

Her: Oh cute !! Her: Yeah I’m always down for some wine Her: Where’s your favourite 🥺 Student: There’s (venue) in (location) and (venue) that’s good Her: Oh cool (venue) is cute I like it in there Her: I’ve never been to the other place though!! Student: Let’s do (venue) this time and (venue) next. Shoot me your number and we’ll get it sorted

Mic check..1..2

This is a good message to use if the girl ghosts or hasn’t replied for a couple of days. It is a humorous way to get her attention without seeming needy.

The student matched with this girl on Hinge. This messaging sequence uses a role play involving the girl and the student being a divorced couple. The girl does ghost part way through so the student has to reopen the conversation. The student then has to sexualise the conversation. The interaction ends with the student getting the girl’s phone number and moving the conversation off the app.

You look like my future ex wife 😏

This is a playful way to start conversation. It can also lead into fun role plays about you and the girl being married, getting divorced and the reasons behind the divorce.

Her: Ahhh I thought I recognised you 😉 Student: We’re getting a prenup and I’m keeping the dog though Her: No you can have full custody of the kids that you begged me for, I’m keeping the dog and the waffle maker

You know the kids won’t leave the dog behind. This is why it never worked between us

This message works as a continuation of the joke while also framing the student as the one who initiated the break up, putting him in the position of power.

Her: It never worked between us because I caught you flirting with that McDonald’s waitress. I will see you in court if you don’t give up the dog Student:I told you there was nothing between us, I kept going back to that particular McDonald’s because they do the best big macs Her: I saw you! You can have her anyway, the dog and I have left the country. You’ll never find us

Shame, the make up sex would have been phenomenalUnless you disagree

This message works here as it continues the joke but opens up a sexual dialogue. This is a good message to send if you have proposed something and the girl hasn’t responded. The message implies you’re entitled and expecting a response from her without getting needy or butthurt.

Her: Not at all but you’ll have to remind me how good the sex was before

You don’t remember the time I dragged you across the bed by your ankles and kissed you passionately, sucking on your nipples nice and slow, until you became nice and wet. You begged me to shove it in but instead I mercilessly teased you with my cock. Finally, when you couldn’t take it anymore, I slid inside you. Your back arched, my hand pulling your hair, your legs collapsed shaking from pleasure

This message works well here because it shows that you understand sex from the female perspective. The descriptive nature of the message shows that you understand that women are turned on by having their mind stimulated rather than their eyes. That it is the build up and teasing, not just putting your dick in and thrusting hard and fast. This will set you apart from most guys on dating apps.

Her: You never fucked me like that! Must have been one of your many side things Student: We need to sort this out Her: Well then fuck me like that and we won’t need to go through this divorce! Think of the children Student: Gladly 😏 Student: Remind me, you like wine? Her: Do you even know me? I love wine Student: Good, we should split a bottle sometime soon Her: I think we should too, do I still get the dog

That depends on how persuasive you are over wine. Shoot me your number and we’ll sort it out

This message works here because it implies that he is still not sold on her and she has to qualify herself on the date but it still moves the interaction forward. Once the girl is compliant and it’s clear she likes you, there is no need for more messaging, just go for the number or organize a date.

Her: Whiskey tim Student: Film, blanket, cup of tea Student: Whiskey wouldn’t hurt either Her: What about cup of tea in the afternoon, whiskey at night?

Read my mind, sounds like a great first date

The aim of this message is to seed the date. It is too early in the interaction to go for the close but it’s good to seed the date.

Her: Let’s check when it will be rain haha Student: in the meantime give me the basics. Any kids? Tattoos? Fun kinks? Crazy hobbies? Her: I’m new to the area, just arrived for a month. I’m a long distance trail runner before I moved here. I don’t have any crazy hobbies, but I love to have a crazy life Her: What about you? Any interesting stories about you? Student: What’s a long journey trail runner? Student: no kids, 6 tatts, and i play guitar in a band, read, write, gym and run too Her: I usually train for the long journey trail race, above 50km Her: Nice profile Student: That’s pretty impressive. How’d you get into that? Her: I tried some shorter races and joined some running clubs, then found that I love long distance, so I started to find some races to practice with my coach back home. But now I can only practice by myself, still finding the way back to training too. Student: I definitely prefer the longer distances but I’ve only gone as far as a half marathon so far. I’ve been meaning to join a running club too actually Her: I love long distance. Put myself totally in the nature from sunrise to sunset. That’s incredible! Her: Wondering if I could try this here

Definitely some beautiful spots I can show you here

This message works well as the girl and student have connected on a hobby but it is now time to start moving towards closing and suggesting they do that hobby together is a great way to do that.

Her: I just found the Peak District is not far from the city. Have you been there?

Yeah been there a few times, beautiful place. Maybe that can be our second date

This message works well here as it shows a sense of cocky humor that you are already assuming there will be a second date before you’ve had the first. It uses callback humor because they have already talked about the first date to remind her that is an unfinished thread but also to seed the idea of a second date.

Her: I would be very happy about that

We should probably organize the first one before that thoughDo you like wine?

This message brings the conversation back on track to organizing the first date. This is a great way to start the closing sequence and you can set up the date from here.