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1307Shilpi

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mental_health

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fucked real bad im sorry im sorry im needy weak im sorry hurt im sorry im sorry fucked im sorry want alone im sorry want im sorry fuckkkkkk im sorry im fucking sorry please forgive

self.depression

bailed last minute wedding getting dressed nothing fit ive gained bunch weight worked much stomach hurt couldnt ive cry bed hour know thats run sentence thats fucking life feel like right feel bad skipping seriously deal

self.Anxiety

cant rememeber last time happy deleted

self.depression

highschooler who single ready kill xposted rsuicidewatch cant take living anymore im year old guy th grade without single real friend girlfriend reason live people tell okay alone lonely feel like someone cuddle talk would much happier people tell im smart yet keep stupid thing like staying bed rather going school project work people tell im handsome yet ive one girlfriend met mental hospital losing last best friend mental breakdown saying love girlfriend two month left hospital longer selfharming never even saw touched outside damn hospital everyone else getting job friend easily going school yet barely get bed put much pressure well school yet action completely inconsistent along fact year pretty much determine rest life every night dream arent nightmare theyre girlfriend someone actually love want hug cuddle feel repulsive stupid reason havent killed already parent already lost daughter sister heroin overdose say died would kill live rough life know true dad obviously slowly developing alzheimers emotional abuse mom gotten worse mom precious deserve constantly barraging insult keep pull insecurity try nice everyone try talk girl try smile pretend happy nothing ever work typing struggle thought place really dont want live want press button poof existence without affecting anyone like never lived im posting well im sure belongs

self.depression

anyone remember video wrestler us weird technique reduce anxiety would make weird facial gesture yelling big fight video talking technique would use big fight

self.Anxiety

trying come term got diagnosed year half ago got current partner want understand bipolar diagnosis better ive shunning bit difficulty taking med im finally stage feel like post subreddit ask question want understand better anyone resource advice anything ive really reached much odd comment

self.bipolar

think blankness life feel like sham year old working basically dead end job desire work original plan use undergraduate get professional school cant get verge giving probably dont aspiration field parent pressuring go field felt though option real hobby playing mobile game watching tvnetflixyoutube eating friend relationship feel surface level dont know could muster courage tell extent depression discussed bit piece never fully depth friendship mainly hanging playing video game talking music getting high weed thats find real joy thing anymore activity thing try remind much fuck lack life experience growing currently introvert family almost encouraged becaus feel though didnt know else im sure started im honest would bad gathering social issue event didnt know people would pretend nausea hide washroom whole time man im typing im really ashamed ive become past year ive tried rectify behavior seen improvement dont hide bathroom anymore however im going talk next probably one major reason im sad year life ive never real relationship moment go club try online dating flirt thats extent romantic life introversion feeding depression basically paralyzed mind everytime want flirt switch different mode act shy time try avoid romance reason ive said previous im depressed life come dont like job field ive planning life real hobby passion outside sitting as home developed real skill say confidence key approaching woman selfesteem shot rock bottom never find enough courage bring ask girl date top happens ask say yes go family christian past year probably align b agnostic dont really mesh well family friend since im thinking completely different perspective still live family love much realize helping situation know going take long time save move somewhere speaking moving make terrible financial decision spend money frivolously entertainment food also masturbate way frequently know interferes thing social love life im lb ideal weight age height resolve willpower work ive brace time never ended keeping retainer still crooked teeth feel like fuck every time look mirror something know life get money fix thats thing havent noticed lot thing want start quit ive never able power resolve also rock bottom ive tried working stopping masturbating keeping straight teeth name ive never committed anything dont know wrong cant keep going week befor relapsing going back old way family started notice mad sad ive become real suggestion parent continually push towards field desire pursue know mean well want able live well within mean also know thing would much different growing shoe moving india make better life family said family doesnt understand important mental health someone father treat mother like absolute crap nowadays mother worried indian culture tradition anything father always cared u mother different story see killing mother inside wee christian indian unheard certainly looked upon sad thing mother would rather marriage live day alone type mentality devastates could never possibly resonate hey easy say never relationship hope behaviour isnt condoned regardless could possibly tell extent depression life set live nice comfortable existence however ive managed fuck every possible way long road ive never thought seriously ending thought come multiple occasion know family would heartbroken find something like happened guess there one reason live havent considered therapy drug im probably going go new year begin im seeking road happiness somehow

self.depression

wish fuckin alien kidnaps whatever fuck want

self.depression

support stopping compulsion today hey guy last couple week erp help overcome health related ocd today gave badly compulsion found sensitive spot body thought problematic sign problem start checking red think made wound nail feel sore dry even though know caused something worry going panic attack cause ocd telling didnt already probably something really bad pain wont go away type support welcomed

self.Anxiety

want dead dont want go dying could dead die sleep think would hate almost everything dont think going get better thing stopping im scared hurt whatever method end trying working landing hospital im really scared ill stop scared actually try

self.SuicideWatch

think im going kill suicide thing think im getting closer closer

self.SuicideWatch

question helping friend suffering anxiety hello suffering anxiety although consider shy introverted anxious person time know nowhere near need go want say think star new friend got know suffering anxiety panic attack might either highly sensitive andor autism spectrum asked thing look trigger could anything make comfortable learning go along also process tested see exactly stand work known people anxiety issue past know little bit feel hard rough wondering perhaps could give advice tip do donts like help say get panic attack often new environment experience given responsibility stressed also reflects health way eats much le extent unhealthy worry somewhat dont get wrong though doubt make though strong fighter however would like help make path easier help offer would greatly appreciated p live eu going bed pretty soon reply take going info provided sub tomorrow well

self.Anxiety

question recent issue experienced three time today ever happened one two time life feeling ive accessed memory dream shouldnt accessed waking life escape soon think get feeling sort panic attack feel like dying feel like surreal heart sink vibrate cant think clearly feel like stuck time last second feel like death thinking sort weird memory cant place mind like fragment dream cant hold onto slip away feel electric worst kind way read like panic attack stressful situation happens last short terrifying im good health active subconscious sleep paralysis sufferer many year lot stress prone anxiety nothing ever caused anything like anyone shine light relate clear cut anxiety attack another way explain physical feeling like startled horribly caught time peak startled sense fire

self.Anxiety

overcame anxiety find therapist get medication need saved life barely sideeffects first week tough thing make scared scared getting outside go outside every day scared making social interaction push comfort level day ask product supermarkt day ask someone time etc day go skydiving eat healthy seriously one huge research healthy human brain exercise dont hide dont feel like victim million people struggling happen one go something realize anxiety cured reason dont hear lot people cured anxiety go life dont go platform anymore promised would post beat anxiety feel anxious taking action leaving comfort zone brain thinking surviving survival brain fine laying bed day dont give first week tough youre making change finally dont take life serious mindset helped lot good luck journey time edit became sort popular reply every comment tomorrow party atm

self.Anxiety

im good person hate depression anyone else flip mirror pretend shoot hand constantly

self.depression

wife cheated took kid back august found love life cheated ive psyc ward last month even attempted suicide thats found never loved woke er never came even called havent able see kid month thats whats really tearing fuck apart know there nothing whats happened know thing get better eventually ive focusing trying evolve better man still moment shit hit hard want someone shoot put like would wounded dog

self.SuicideWatch

defying diagnosis poignant new yorker article linda bishop refused acknowledge illness starved death alone farmhouse found article incredibly poignant hate diagnosis also find difficult accept also question insight sometimes wondering arent deluded think article httpwwwnewyorkercommagazinegodknowswhereiam also struck fact linda seemed functional many way far went reclusive period article well raising interesting question insight also raise question consent someone deemed ill enough sectioned sad thing linda order qualify housing assistance needed declare mentally incompetent refused could offered housing without restriction might well alive today edit see documentary made lindas life death god know httpvarietycomfilmreviewsgodknowswhereiamfilmreview link variety review film trailer httpsvimeocom thoughtful description documentary httpswwwnbcnewscombetterwellnessaftermomstarvesdeathquestionsaboutcarementallyilln

self.bipolar

dont know need want make hole wall break hand depending part bathroom wall punch first time ive realised moment irascible anger anxiety explains ive never known deal knew deal depression thought depression know havent spent year developing coping strategy thought wtf

self.Anxiety

tried kill last tuesday havent able stop thinking since last tuesday tried failed kill suspension hanging falling went unconscious ive since told close friend supportive im sure theyre getting tired bothered one asked still felt suicidal thought made promise try time panicked said whatever could wouldnt get worried call cop shit different state first thought came took minute realize whowhere happened disappointment didnt work day still felt depressed interested trying stay alive feeling honestly went away pretty quickly think time know wrong right well itll feel like im unconscious unfeeling dont know two people trust already lied go im going leave note specifically apologizing visited family weekend way soon upsetting considering le week ago accepted id never seeing hometown cant tell parent would hurt much im scared going hospital therapy im uni oddly enough one thing still give fuck class dont know feel cant stop thinking wishing worked side note today made better going sister bday hadnt seen since summer told shouldve hung whole time wanted show belt wearing belt tried kill wanted show tear leather wanted show tried give wanted birthday trying die spite sister sickens could say family fucking scar arm cutting kid sorry nothing ranting ive trying process week thanks reading tldr tried kill last week suicidal thought back already

self.SuicideWatch

brother physically lift got bed

self.depression

unwise reveal bipolar ii local workforceunemployment office unwise reveal bipolar ii local workforceunemployment office say disclosure would never revealed prospective employer may eligible additional career placement service said find hard trusting come disclosing mental illness anyone especially professional realm vote button poll optionscurrent vote count votehttpredditpollcomvotenwenuzplit unwise dont vote votehttpredditpollcomvotepdrmsoqvive done know someone worked well vote instruction click vote register vote note vote count post updated real time new data make poll redditpollcomhttpredditpollcom see live vote count herehttpredditpollcompollisitunwisetorevealmyhavingbipolariitothelocalworkforceunemploymentoffice

self.bipolar

normal thoughtsfantasies wanting die deleted

self.SuicideWatch

recent bout insomnia scared sleep started prozac soon upped dose full pill lost ability sleep normally id wake every two hour like new born extreme anxiety tremor feeling like drank cup coffee sleep luxury week officially get drum roll please consecutive hour sleep waking panic im scared waking anxious im petrified going sleep yet longing ive never insomnia life someone please tell shall pas im scared take medicine im scared ill end hospital

self.Anxiety

know roughly going take life im still sad cant happy instead removed

self.depression

started reduced anxiety weed first year taking citalopram used enjoy getting high evening younger helped take edge however since last year havent able would give horrible paranoi make anxiety worse stopped anyway im week citalopram medication first time antidepressant thought would try small amount last night close friend surprise thought wouldnt enjoy actually felt le anxious chatty loved every minute wanting enjoy wanted share everyone anyone else similar experience

self.Anxiety

final coming spent semester bed man want die

self.depression

frustrating ive struggling mental health problem ive looking answer whats wrong long started realizing symptom matched bipolar lot looking diagnosis long specifically bipolar needed relief reassurance someone knew feeling way finally month im let hard truth doc said ive caught diagnosis much havent realized doesnt actually mean anything really label finally understand medicine treat symptom diagnosis hard truth learn unsatisfied struggling answer month false hope reoccurring thing life time learn lesson pdoc said diagnosis symptom could take year seeing frustrated upset gave least reassurance extremely broad category disorder thats pretty much meaningless said mood disorder otherwise specified hard look back see month struggle got meaningless categorization im currently taking anti psychotic anxiolytic soon antidepressant still thing actually conform ive dying answer get guess need learn take time feel like suicide attempt hospitalization manic episode unexplained make feel fucking abnormal make feel sick sometimes sometimes dont even want wait around done want explanation feel like im fucked reason

self.bipolar

anti depressant help way make worse work effect life

self.depression

bad panic attack right woke one literally woke must dreamed something freaked ativan please kick faster im trying remember nose mouth count coached husband one day cant take advice

self.Anxiety

sunday depression help anybody ever get really bleh mood sunday like youll fine day whole day youre different person seems always sunday sometimes happens random day dont think job like job anyone way combat feeling thing like focus help tia

self.depression

im still suicidal since christmas lost job since couldnt bear going work anymore sure found reason live someone nice enough try talk problem cheered bit decided pay forward see could help anyone else struggling find reason live talking nice girl posted subreddit hope helped still battling demon battling demon obsessive thought ex cant seem let go making think past relationship well ive three dont think much first one even though one lasted longest abusive toxic id like forget one pretty much second one really get second girlfriend really nice quite possibly love life feel guilty ashamed didnt treat well enough feel didnt give enough attention didnt get proper help needed found addicted opiate threatened kill later broken angry year broke bad financial state finding job state proposed work together get top finance pay debt bulk lot student loan debt offered help pay willing work initially agreed week two later said wouldnt help mom told wasnt responsible back rent owed furious told done focused paying back rent managed save quite decent chunk money working forced overtime job didnt go much didnt know lot people lived saved money way worked state year found better paying job back home around time got call friend ironically received call bar gone first date friend told died speedball imagine still abusing morphine mixed cocaine floored written apologize year two later heard suicide attempt tried contact never responded boyfriend show memorial service tried hard hold back tear devastating despite angry year found another dated mom supplying morphine whole time told stealing mom year later died found sobbing work one day everytime think brings tear dont know overdosed purpose cant put past hadnt dated sex year second girlfriend smartphones hit scene finding girlfriend became lot difficult well honestly always difficult im unusual dont find many girl share common ground especially locale met recent girlfriend online pretty overjoyed fell apart quickly lasted month wrote situation previous tldr post sw im still confused tried hard didnt want repeat mistake made last girlfriend still dont know wrong anything never got closure downright cruel shes proud make sense thought treated pretty well wish could meet someone else want think someone else ex pain thinking unbearable point suicide seems like viable option know isnt dont want die contacted second girlfriend best friend today ask memorial stone placed wanted leave rose like one gave first date maybe go tomorrow funny heart make u feel heaven someone love theyre gone go straight hell friend mine suggested become whore new year try sex many woman thats really dont think could avoid becoming attached someone say sex creates soul connection two people definitely believe dont want spread thin give part soul bunch sloots ill probably see one night youd think guy like would valuable commodity doesnt seem like wish could find someone love try hard make thing last people keep telling good looking doesnt seem help much maybe im weird anyway im still waiting something change better hope peace happy new year stay alive refuse defeat

self.SuicideWatch

fubar escape plan diary dead father ive spent lot time debating whether would ever point joining reddit mean story see every often quite intriguing funny dark salty plain sad never bothered til thought id wasting time still think nobody would bother read least read like sad little reward make past new year write current state ad year old father realised im severely depressed today dunno particularly good day particularly bad think bong morning helped pot usually think way much without usually constitutes bad day weird realised majority bad day one havent yet smoked get bad one pot nearly intense drug problem perhaps feeling thing withdrawal perhaps though consider flip side never depressed since event happened summer masked lot smoke heal maybe wasnt healing maybe masking maybe mental health fragile pot help level heard something dr last night dont waste hateful energy somebody dislike meh hate though lot self loathing self hate whatever life plan id patched together year old born destroyed torn two pick focus positive yada yada yada know fuck seriously know logic logical mind attain logical answer someone el problem emotion supersedes logic ive tried everything counter train thought get frustrated frustrated fucking burning tearing twisting pain deep chest matter hard try satiate wont go constant reminder reminder youve lost reminder useless actually reminder kid want reality fucking depressed youve become wont reach youre state social anxiety wont talk fuck want hear shit really even people say dont telling otherwise usually come quite patronising condescending dunno spiral mode guess isnt bad day today im ok im scared go doctor im scared admit need help im fucking terrified theyll restrict time boy easy little share son ex know could go shit social service ever got whiff feel day please assured never day son day without day fill wondering im missing knowing cant asks day turn fucking turn fucking shit take turn see goddamn son still many father get guess brings problem fuck open feel doctor flash could find zombie antidepressant child service door worried mental health wellbeing son id never fucking hurt son ever he thing thats stopped hanging far he best friend much want selfish couldnt christmas dunno im waiting sign maybe courage bad enough day go fuck blindly idea today hasnt bad day yet might post ever might come back tomorrow day shit may even get bad day read proud beat hope doesnt sound condescending reading back make

self.depression

mind dark place right im stressed scared oh god feel like much stuff need need therapy need doctor need sleep better need get better job today sucked

self.SuicideWatch

somebody say hi lonely person lack everything miss human interaction muchsince start everything since mental fucked state took place today went alone drunk usual place tried made smalltalk billiard player play saying like well played least look go hi love despair want themselfs selfharm etc struggle nobody understands one passing goodnight

self.SuicideWatch

tired life bull shit ive honestly thing started get better theyve went hill make wish tylenol would killed back thought hanging daily recently diagnosed bipolar major depressive disorder friend job money ive wish could end

self.SuicideWatch

therapy make worse many issue count need therapy well im also legally obligated therapy every time go feel worse afterwards doesnt matter therapist see dont even know therapy doesnt work

self.depression

landlord seems surprised show goggily pajama basement sunday yes hear music metal clanging hammer furnace midnight weekday yes hear hammering drilling two floor everyone else im trying fucking sleep cope without fucking med strange fucking allergy something cant take anything dont know fuck wrong

self.bipolar

thing care care nothing make feel bad sad like im broken know there thing need choose lay bed almost like sick game seeing long stay guilt feel like deep power get get thing donebut im choosing im choosing stay bed play stupid fucking game know life privileged compared many others know like many feel like reason depressed yet fuck depression

self.depression

thought ok im recently got med bunch bipolar dont turn got felt much better thing im lamictal xanax twice day two med nothing compared decided go xanax got new job start tomorrow cant go xanax wouldnt able much ever since havent using xanax ive felt like going crazy depressed anxious almost feel dissasociative get lost negative thought feel like existence know cant control thought also feel like failure inevitable doesnt help got diagnosed really painful chronic illness month ago ive unemployed month got great job wasnt sick sad time id great worry im going suck lose job move home live boyfriend cant afford apartment need half rent also plan save move small town next year way thing going dont think thats going happen tried prozac decided go med sent suicidal depressed painful couldnt eat couldnt sleep week im still recovering mentally physically traumatized bad reaction prozac told dont need ssri id figure al therapy well cry day feeling depressed sick condition btw get worse stress feel like im going crazy never ever suicidal thought prozac know mind capable thought keep sneaking head dont intention think often id thing get really bad soon may go crazy enough actually try hurt hard stuck inside mind doesnt work ive realized best chance trying another ssri im afraid lost lb withdrawal prozac chronic condition stomach paralyzed couldnt eat didnt want fear getting sick feel like im point thing going get worse dont try find something help worry ill get bad reaction ill quit job move home boyfriend guess come car partner live wood feel like im dragging hardship also top ssri effect stomach mine bad shape really didnt want risk going another sick im sick could hardly talk move nausea lasted week lost lb cant afford happen well dont think could mentally handle unless sedated wanted die much week withdrawal still feel like want exist afraid though dont think im control brain thought much dont want im scared thought okay im start new job tomorrow way intense expected require constant attention cant even take care remember eat issue eating currently cant take care desire try know lot people trouble graduate college man didnt expect full blown mental breakdown want live seems nearly impossible successfully right want confidence depleted confident confidence whatsoever feel like brain doesnt work much ask working brain body everything doesnt work happening deserve etc know life unpredictable cruel cant change im lived essentially quarter life kind sucked control anything distant memory wonder ill ever regain control

self.depression

cant quite gun ammo room cant bring im damn shared die guess im sick living mean whats damn point life never really seems get better keep going like unending purgatory cant ugh top everything else turn im coward

self.SuicideWatch

anxiety disorder depression amp myriad autoimmune disease common physical repercussion sustained selfbetrayal deleted

self.depression

nobody enjoys talking im awkward make people uncomfortable come hate talking dont want alive cant communicate people care

self.SuicideWatch

feel like ill never better ive feeling pretty positive life lately im graduate associate december im making plan afterward hard lonely good day often bad one sad know stressed making plan graduation going dont know want major year school dont know see rest life self harmed tonight hadnt done long time felt like getting better feel like always going lifei always sad struggling lonely find motivation keep going always going like

self.depression

guess im leaving dont think ive felt truly happy nearly three year ive accepted im going make ive tried getting help nothing seems work im shit person havent okay long time im tired pretending im happy everythings fine im tired losing people get close im tired seeing disappointment parent face feel even worse family friend even though feel like dont really know well dont want feel hurt none fault really anyone anythings fault brain doesnt work properly feel like existence waste resource point becoming liability others long run would better die young people still good memory guess tomorrow ill gone

self.SuicideWatch

dont feel happy dont feel first time posting something dont even know start recently life going one way one direction bad im feeling happy mean h im happy like minute gone idk fell alive im listening music im hating routine cant understand im going school im feeling im wrong area got plan future even present wake early go school wait till go home fuckin homework study eat wash dish sleep pm cant go like cant support anymore im starting cry everyday bed normal got friend would never understand dont know im writing feel like worth im ending

self.SuicideWatch

anyone else alone reached community worst anxiety attack ever month ago driving couple reassuring comment really helped time im sorry long post advance year old good job bachelor accounting mba married kid diagnosed depression taken zoloft since teenage high school year never struggled panic attack month ago driving get food something snapped inside head throbbing heart pounding limb went numb entire body shaking could hardly see heart beat hard fast could feel pulse head immediately gripped chest thought heart attack mile apartment found safe place turn around drove back home time didnt realize anxiety attack felt like dying got home started pacing thought hard happening sat googled anxiety immediately knew happening turned reddit community everything found ranxiety relief fast forward couple month later im feeling particularly good wife laid bed one morning watched movie time escaped u eventually afternoon felt great laughing good time finally got decided clean around apartment decided order favorite chinese take treat got truck drove mile familiar anxiety attack hit gambit symptom heart pounding headache tingling limb pulled hardees called wife cry couldnt make told come pick left truck parking lot later called mother brought truck calmed apartment monday went physician explained going explained fast heart rate palpitation chest pain given ekg said nothing looked alarming even though however constantly chest pain find concerned heart rate constantly clutching chest breast hurt im alone place hand chest feedback loop brings anxiety anxiety much worse morning believe feeling rushed like im always hurry move quickly shower straighten get dressed get truck drive work everyday reach office spend atleast minute meditation breathing repeatedly giving hey youre panic attack affirmation head used love drink black coffee even half cup spur anxiety feel physically sick every attack attack feel brand new even though ive experienced chest pain hyperventilation starry vision shakiness irritability sweating feeling impending terror hundred time cant seem simply say another anxiety attack anyone else feel way technique getting attack come im afraid life every morning feel blessed alive previous night certain attack would actually kill

self.Anxiety

dream dream ever sweet rarely dream quite rare occurrence ex set married felt real everything felt right like break never happened still remember feel happiness seeing wearing white wedding dress touching still felt feeling warmth hand could still feel lip mine kiss ever sweet happiness felt immeasurable rained everybody suddenly gone left well alone woke tear streaming face month since left day passed stopped thinking even dream depression still haunt want pain end want suffering end

self.depression

seriously fuck people last month ive lost friend people know reasoning sad depressed time energetic top sometimes people know bipolar anyone else experienced friend relationship starting strain

self.bipolar

light going idk start ive heart made ice light going im planning jump building somewhere cause see good street good people ive seen people lie make sick bought weed smoked wood head cleared thought stuff want someone help hurt inside im tearing thinking dont respond reply within day know good bye

self.SuicideWatch

stressed thing important due mom letting stay home school cant seem get bed feel terrible dont want mom upset know depression still put grade mental health want break cycle also related also adhd medicine gone cant focus school work even got bed

self.depression

think every single night ive depressed long remember entire childhood terrible severely abused emotionally physically one idea went sister died im dont talk people tell feel bottled emotion year absolutely loathe told useless ugly growing nothing ever changed viewed suck relationship hate much cant fathom anyone would want im incredibly ugly self esteem look girl body make want kill ill never able attain tried start eating really well exercising ok month get depressed wonder there even point finally made appointment talk therapist year never talking anyone im scared feel like there point person wont able help part want fix awful thing mind tell part realizes im always going fucked nobody help think woman im going see going think im ugly insane worth helping work shitty part time job nothing sit as play video game spare time im fucking useless graduated high school thats far got life skill dont even know id want know wouldnt good anything id lazy keep think killing every single night past month ive fallen asleep thought slitting wrist strangely comforting know there something wrong wish could normal want girl someone would actually want want good thing compare every girl realize im waste fucking oxygen dont even know im posting guess cry help dont tell anyone thought thank taking time read im sorry wasting time

self.SuicideWatch

trigger warning fear becomingbeing suicidal help ok good month frightening feelingsthoughts life pointless thought came suddenly last week july although partying day ago thought totally unwanted make think actually suicidal make doubt feel intense dread hopelessness appear randomly head feel sick everything seems odd since dealing thought said occured suddenly made think suicide would destiny totally freaked anxiety knew painful instantly felt hopeless thought occured problem everything triggering time future musicit feel like shouldve died freaking went two psychiatrist clear diagnosis yet really dont know recover dealt dpdr month suddenly became anxious time date future etc time thought occured week fav singer died suicide never thought single time lot research suicidebut dont know

self.Anxiety

recent thought posting stuff ive feeling lately want get idk else post input welcomed required im newly diagnosed om lamictal day went gave intrusive thought made feel shitty saw doctor well hospital psychiatrist dropped mg day ive well jot perfect like thought scared much even though havent really anymore im still almost always obsessing scared ill every time gf annoys something im scared ill envision hitting love want getting hard difficult occasionally thought scare know youre doctor wont anything without talking one dose think ill able stop stressing thanks peaceful day

self.bipolar

im pretty sure girl thought girlfriend cheated today deleted

self.SuicideWatch

update tomorrow big day tomorrow go work find want im sure firing frank thats im hoping cant take anymore dont want rehash already posted every day night severe depression anxiety ocd adhd suicidal ideation could function basic level bathing month washing clothes never throwing piece garbage entire time lived house back parent house right mental symptom lifted bit still trouble basic functioning know point im even nervous tomorrow want get psychiatrist year strongly recommended pursuing disability said really good chance plan parent become stable could take year know feeling moment numb probably getting fired best job ive ever mental illness become severe kind everyone else job pursuing dream disabled living parent foreseeable future part though relieved parent home sibling town doctor make feel safe comfortable ill let know happens tomorrow

self.bipolar

talk bf morning something hurt feeling cried havent able calm day worrying leave stupid please help calm im work day know he playing lol cant reply right away he given reason think anything wrong past relationship he never even one leaving im used people deciding im worth multiple therapist told fear abandonment brain trying talk sense im still anxious please help

self.Anxiety

group therapy experience like ive absolutely loving something extremely stupid session monday cant stop thinking think offended one guy group asking insensitive question he group much longer feel bad dont want made trouble group member dont know next week plan act normal like nothing happened feel like apology would make worse im seriously considering quitting group know probably shouldnt treatment perspective generally dont want start habit running away problem im generally curious youve tried group therapy

self.bipolar

ibs anxiety anyone else suffer ibs upfront parent teenager gad ever since quite young would get terrible stomach pain time time seen many doc found cause wasnt got formal diagnosis gad last year made connection pain triggered anxiety morning woke bad episode stomach pain stayed home school still miserable evening online searching found ibs often associated anxiety disorder everything read ibs sound like experiencing course plan speaking medical professional find sure might meantime wanted find others experienced maybe go anything similar maybe give use helpful tip manage symptom currently trying brat diet see help looking fodmap diet

self.Anxiety

college killing im first semester freshman year academically rigorous university im drowning ive pretty much known ive depressed since ive never spoken professional high school accepted unmotivated tendency able coast late assignment lack studying whatever natural intelligence didnt think would college course didnt think much kicking as late assignment arent accepted dont study ill fail attending class much harder one forcing getting bed nearly impossible didnt hand assignment worth grade class c instead b feel completely unmotivated confused whats going come life degree im going get class matter dont try class really new feeling finally consequence im failing anything im going kicked cant getting c class depression gotten much worse probably go school mental health service cant even motivate thanks reading helped type least im cry anymore

self.depression

anxiety new housemate sharing day id love advice first bit history guess since renting ive ever lived people know even ive slight social anxiety year wanting enter common space others wanting cook others definitely better time also two really good housemate im really good friend im also relatively introverted dont like see people much one housemate moved struggled find someone ended someone seemed relatively normal similar interest honestly picking werent great ok one night since shes moved im really really struggling fine begin friendly new housemate grabbing cup tea turn sharer making tea quick conversation went missed engagement party friend pissed suddenly telling partner died day ago know deal im awkward kinda said oh thats awful made conversation exit asap im stuck room worst anxiety dont want go back unfortunately kitchen connected lounge room shes sitting watching tv day tend keep snack food room ive living snack food today obviously cant go id love advice

self.Anxiety

im hypomanic thing saying thing really bluntly everyone go back try say right thing trying second time also failure luckily mostly teetering hypomania maybe ill wake quieter tomorrow hi reddit

self.bipolar

diagnosed adhd top bipolar disorder anyone relate ive diagnosed bipolar disorder type since diagnosed adhd month ago anyone else combination affect feel like new person im treated run big problem could go ill wait see anyone relate see want commiserate bit

self.bipolar

outsider look like together think ive developed depression sound like im year old college educated female think im suffering depression ive always relatively sensitive feel like internally base emotion become melancholy thing used get excited happy feel le sad ive always struggled seasonal depression im able recognize plan maintain symptom definitely take work identifying ive figured way cope like forcing outside even cold making sure get earlier get much light possible etc however october im feeling overwhelming sense sadness im getting concerned series event led point thats kind bother could fix thing surely wouldnt feel depressed emotional sensitive yes thats part isnt normal sensitive self feeling hopelessness adult life mostly disappointing far want im sure road map helping ive always lot friend maintained good relationship people achiever school excelled class high school college formed friendship girl became best friend never knew missing life shared everything lot friend relationship ideal movie like friendship inspired sparked loved long story short proceeded introduce guy ended husband upon introduction entirely focused relationship little time friendship put back burner wondering went wrong wondering introduced begin happy wanted part life felt like didnt need anymore went communicating daily facebook happy birthday throwback photo reposted time year started immersing favorite band hoping replicate friendship bit unhealthy felt like connected lot new people social personal life started revolve around would ob plan going concert around region looked forward road trip id focus band social medium band broke friend made started dwindle spread different direction lastly perhaps biggest blow met thought love life family vacation year ago literally everything wanted guy possessed quality hard come catch since met vacation maintain long distance relationship happy like band probably wasnt healthy situation made happy two year dating traveling back forth broke never heard completely gone erased consequence dating someone far away hadnt anticipated unlike dating someone local chance running chance rekindling reason ever cross path previous people dated high school may happy breaking always mutual connection run in might consider blessing hard pill swallow person spent last two year talking everyday looked forward seeing poofed breakup two year ago started immersing work surely couldnt fail really started focus upped gameand havent even gotten raise small milestone nothing really give true feeling achievement sigh relief dream job want isnt available wont foreseeable future meantime im making le k hustling freelancer thought sure immersing work would get freelance nope indefinite time come hang yes specific position opening id love probably recently started talking new guy really digging first time wasnt focused went wrong ex saw new potential well turn new guy isnt great interested playing game casual sex thankfully gone alone triggered upset ive hung new people ive done dating app thing ive tried expanded social circle made new friend exercise walk immerse work ive kept eye open new opportunity despite nothing seems fill internal void im attractive young woman would even say people admire think im well put together outside world look like world oyster inside feel stuck feel base emotion depression somedays feel le depressed alone point longer normal something emotion tldr im year old girl look like figured im living almost constant state sadness thing disappointed past year early adulthood im kind worn alone feeling normal something year old phase

self.depression

deeply conflicted dont know exactly put word whats going hopefully suffering disorder youll able make sense month ago went deep depressive state completely isolated everyone course isnt anything new time though time period becomes longer longer ive away entire time want go back normal life there one problem fear fear deep every time think returning feel sick stomach fear wont accept understand whats going fear wont see way fear theyve changed time gone list go luckily group friend part tolerated behavior mine month clearly beginning get old gone similar situation whats advice resolve youve read far thank taking time hear sincerely appreciate

self.Anxiety

really need support right edited trouble posting post posted word pasted rest post added sentence clarify time frame past month really difficult depression never leaf going try keep short sweet im f diagnosed depression put adhd med antidepressant instantly manic psychotic episode suicide attempt almost died icu week hospitilized diagnosed bipolar dropped highschool halfway senior year didnt take med properly cocaine habit used xanax bunch horrible thing made choice never forgetwas much extreme pain would cut multiple suicide attempt cleaned life lot healing finally feeling like dog day got unhealthy traumatic relationship manipulative sadistic sociopath moved hometown hour away lived year together isolated abusive psychologically physically emotionally left moved away healing still recovering today solid place new strong supportive healthy relationship kitty good job ive extremely depressed past couple month hard dont want go thing used partner encourages life extent example he friend tonight could honestly dont want go see anyone feel like much effort im tired ive low key depressed month august horrible month work glad already depressed instead getting life together enjoying summer stayed home miserable month work grateful already depressed september started two week felt amazing thought fixed felt amazing job maybe hypmanic two week september meltdown sobbing hard feeling suicidal depressed utterly embarrassed ashamed hadnt felt horrible long time thought lot cutting killing really really wanted die day ended ordering pizza boyfriend came home played muppets christmas musical wanted comforting christmas movie lol passed woke almost feeling hungover like emotionally exhausted like depression added night past couple month ive gained bunch weight clothes dont fit feel like much go work hour week feel like im bad job someone else could better dont deserve want fix life spend much time thinking way attempting going anywhere im really trying stay positive best underlying time sadness im excited anymore moment joy day cried hadnt felt like thay longi feel ugly lazy stupid im friend beautiful cute young working towards dream way dressing cute best self hanging girlfriend traveling working towards goal school tried two class collrge depression insomnia got way bad failed class im really scared go back half closet year ago feel like frumpy mom im working hour week feel like month ive trying fix life go anywhere feel stuck like im wasting life going visit thanksgiving honestly im embarrassed family friend see way feel ugly stress pain show face lack beauty hate looking mirror dont want thing used like go show hike wood want workout im broke afford trainer havent found energy get day willonly day used flip phone ignore social medium watch tv im time ive depressed im finally considering maybe trying medication super psych med point im considering im fucking scared medication trial error hell awful side effect okay med really dont want recently thanks help reddit best friend people instagram share experience bipolari started acknowledge diagnosis abusive ex used ell crazy bipolar dont believe anyone tell u throughout relationship came believe ive trying talk recognize subreddit really helped guy reading people testimonial thinking oh wow gone idea certain behavior came along bipolarit made feel much better alone im starting cry type close friend boyfriend try understand ultimately feel like noone understands feel even hate bipolar disorder feel like pathetic self pitying loser blame problem bipolar disorder shitty person feel like hypomanic yesterday shitty sleep felt amazing yesterday day recklessly spent money didnt anything supposed felt wonderful woke feeling shitty im tired depressed like dont know stop feel trapped like im missing life

self.bipolar

want die im bored existence bored going thr motion every fucking day wake sad anxious shit as day hate feeling way hate depressed time im bored bullied abused harassed ive started fantasize predator idk word use besides predator death think would kill sometimes think death would feel im med anymore since week ago started refusing went horrible withdrawal tourette bad since stabilizer medicine stabilize sorry doesnt make sense tic theyre getting painful depression physically painful though miss ex boyfriend miss friend dont know every fycking person leaf hurt badly fuckimg sad hate living painful way life anyone want talk could somebody pm number also experience dissociative disorder solution please tell currently dissociating stable

self.depression

traveling advice hello ill traveling florida maine visit inlaws play snow le hour severe seasonweather change general tend trigger cycle ive feeling tide change mix dysphoric mildmoderate mania hallucinationsdelusions already two week able get see pdoc increased rexulti another med tweak anything else guy suggest order become completely unhinged anyone else triggered travel andor season

self.bipolar

think im going kill within next couple week sorry jumping back forth life suck im year old guy im sad eveytime go bed feel shitty feel like nobody like dont go outside dont wan na talk anyone got diagnosis social anxiety couple month ago go psychologist every week might talk whats point never tell anyone mental health dont want thought attentionseeker im hypersensetive overthink every social interaction literally dont anything homework play game day fucking hate gained weight face gotten fuckton acne couple friend find hard trust except one almost everything used love feel boring like waste time every morning wake one first thing come mind whats point even try nobody like talk shit behind back last couple month shit beat one best friend got angry im agressive jumpy teacher im always verge tear suddenly begin think failure much shitty person ihave im gay boyfriend last year nice dumped got emotional one day long story feel unclean always feel unclean cant get stop miss time feel wrong everytime feel aroused feel bad make wan na jump bridge thought long time think time end pain selfloathing killing fuck dumb morning havent fallen asleep yet felt like talking someone something sorry mess

self.SuicideWatch

eat youre hungry recently talked someone appetite due lamictal cant find thread want tell person huel brand mix contains everything need carbs protein fat havent tried probably perfect better eating wasting away also way easier original suggestion combine protein powder fat source full fat yogurt avocado flax seed oil peanut butter etc think soylent similar concept havent tried either person hope see take vitamin anyone want comment eat arent hungry need fuel would great happens lot im make huge smoothie sip hour

self.bipolar

self esteem relationship anxiety well first post account sorry advance mobile formatting anyway ive lovely girl month ive never gotten far relationship find preparing look long period time meeting even sucking stomach im want sex im completely inexperienced field dont even take shirt im swimming pool ive struggled anxiety related cleanliness social situation never anxiety like go prepared sexual situation breaking

self.Anxiety

afraid sleep im sure right place post need least get chest anyway vivid nightmare practically every night im tired want rest cant feel real everything distressing cant escape feel like im going crazy

self.depression

happiness choice choose think negatively time wont ever happy im never telling anyone im depressed someone asks whats wrong one best friend told phone wanted hang dont choose feel way dobut many people never understand edit want thank everyone commented nice know people understand im coming

self.depression

im another pit deepest one yet dont know deleted

self.depression

optimistic youre life definitively going get worse deleted

self.depression

im finally going house still miserable hotline speed dial love fiance feel selfish dont know

self.SuicideWatch

screw feel like give screw plan dying soon anyways want help maybe future screw future might well relive past start downward spiral drug self hate there cure even try say get better thats illusion eye least hanging six foot buried six foot seems realistic future

self.SuicideWatch

guy truly alone depression case complicated live country work environment therapy valid option communicate depression others well even could people id come close trusting far meet plus quite busy work objective dont much time chance alleviate stress basically even wanted turn someone wouldnt know start

self.depression

im really kinda done never felt oddly calm contemplating suicide always emotionally turbulent thing dont know whether im desensitised become logical option instead one connected emotion like like thing felt first started self harming example dont know worried either way im everything seems building energy go looking people right im drained care guess im taking note casual manner go away suppose scare asking help even absolutely nothing last time anywho im rambling wanted get chest

self.SuicideWatch

parent physically emotionally abuse go christmas summer break deleted

self.SuicideWatch

parent make feel like shit okay since remember used get disciplined smallest shit accidently broke picture frame got hit head time dad pretty fucking hard always getting yelled talked hit made scared pretty much entire childhood whole time went school never talked anybody literally worried afraid people going make feel bad hurt like home hitting puberty started getting aggressive rebellious skipped school one day dad visited beat as atleast minute like ground slamming head hitting rib whole thing happened dad told principal kicked as next day get called office take picture etcetc ask want press charge anyways im older havent really done much way much anxiety depression really function dont feel like working going school worth dont trust anybody easily stressed kind sleep lot spend day hating life focused defending focus task hand used get really drunk send dad fucked text messeges telling wasnt retarded child abuser id lot farther life telling fucking wish would kill etc etc mom belittler aswell always judging acting like happy somebody dont realize anything first generation europeons guess grew really stressed dont know anything else attacking child issue coped idk wtf going mind anyways saw dad today looked really depressed im sure mom call tell fucked shit say he always high strung surprised hasnt heart attack tbh anyways guess point thread feel bad fucked shit said past recent year even though right tell jealous visit friend family child normal personality isnt intimidated fearing anything etcetc angry violent anxious paranoid individual upbringing living idk feel like shit hurting life feel fucked dont go anything anymore im afraid ill end jail like used teen criminal record pretty flawless stupid misdeoemnors show year ago im insecure hermit who afraid anything ive never platonic relationship ever life im serious never spoke felt anything fear critisism whatnot fast get defensive stupid shit im functional emotional paranoid anxiety ridden high stress level hell lol

self.depression

dont see point really hard make easy end there nothing stress sad mad manic anything right chilling dont reason end

self.SuicideWatch

depression reality im week ive got zero interest past interest used interest computer started losing interest im financially independent zero contact family except mother keep contact friend except ex keep cat ive social contact anyone except two past month im bored traveling simply dont want extensive traveling hate computer flying driving politics gaming shopping normally stay door smoke chill sometimes admin work dont need work im company founder last company failed original staff original remaining company past year done nothing due whole range stuff mental illness overdoses death ive dealt increase wealth since last major project failed however thats unhinged amount accidental young death past year ptsd top realized major project failed misanthropic realized never wanted intimate close anyone family member outside mother betrayed seriously business partner stole dont believe romantic love life friendship idea life feel short death deeply saddens every year birthday reminds everyone love one year closer death depressed living real world

self.depression

dae grace period right wake morning sometimes right ive waken sometimes feel pretty good minute like little grace period depression hasnt hit yet wondering anyone else ever

self.depression

diet magnesium vitamin deficiency talked enough come managing anxiety know long dont know lot people read really want help panic attack end february first day march went doctor blood work done ekg everything said im perfectly healthy workout time week nothing panic day started developing harm ocdintrusive thought recent news event thats going made miserable hopeless sometimes would feel like whats point wasnt depressed felt derealization went cbt instruction online cbt went therapist realized felt better would still get anxiety attack anxiety kept jumping something else solving one problem kept searching cure led learn diet magnesium vitamin magnesium american magnesium deficient deprived even trying lose weight started taking magnesium magnesium citrate better started yesterday made stop stressing unnecessary thing obsessing negative thought slept better night body stopped twitching lot stopped getting anxiety attack throughout day would get maybe min day id move suggest taking mg day check magnesium deficiency symptom cause may solve problem diet body need minimum amount carbs fat protein function play role mood macronutrients also important developing serotonin transferring brain serotonin developed naturally long track diet suggest myfitnesspal app track amount gram protein carbs fat taking daily least meet minimum brain need function properly vitamin many u deprived important vitamin take multivitamin fish oil fish oil omega helped reduce irritation feel le mood swing le instance felt derealization motivated started taking supplement tracking diet sunday havent felt since used feel every day still get anxiety attack gone like week ago heard people never came back even year long made sure ate healthy exercised made sure take time stress also take body long time get deficiency back normal level likely take around month patient people anxiety depression whole life may body isnt efficient come absorbing nutrient know isnt cure everybody hope help others there ton video article online friend anxiety real life example got dont want anyone go anxiety suck feel like hell help even person feel better itd make really happy doctor dont even ask u diet neither therapist thats dont know nutrition dont study wellness explanation doctor ucla forgot name never get blood work done nutrient doctor study medicine thats prescribe cbt helped lot think mix therapy exercise healthy diet remembering take time stress help manage anxiety man long af lol shoutout read whole thing edit also wan na give dog friend family coworkers shoutout surrounding kind supportive people go long way people wont think youre crazy people patient wont judge got negativebad influence people life get away make thing worse good luck everyone everyone dealing something well pull also need someone talk need advice idk whatever message ill best help get

self.Anxiety

im yet like life swirling toilet wont flush deleted

self.SuicideWatch

want die afraid leaving financial burden anyone else worried die leave even issue left behind

self.SuicideWatch

need careful ear anyone track reddit see im massive struggling depressive many yet feel people need ear anything please treat thread dumping ground feeling listen help ill try struggling depressive

self.depression

old habit im probably going try another attempt time soon im definitely getting back old habit unhealthy coping skill fuck doctor say hasnt seen age yet keep filling damn prescription spent half hour cry cutting stomach dont regret wish could nice caring ive clean wasnt worth nice day r whats making feel bad rn guess ppl dont get stupid flufffilled happy ending im going dump back school work maybe least get semester

self.depression

family making big deal christmas thing im sitting cry cant simply leave alone

self.depression

im pathetic cant kill final lmao want badly end right problem fuck ill spend couple day hospital face regular life minus time couldve used study pathetic final day im stuck hospital wont time study ill fail fuck life even already hard knowing fail class could literally determine future sound dramatic specific circumstance basically mean poorly semester ill unable go school ever dream career requires university feel like ive tried hard semester ive studied hard despite depression ive learned everything could felt confident knowledge professor throw curveballs midterm meaning poorly class extremely low average curveballs guess prof fine knowing theyre harming ruining case future student shit im tired many people need life objectively good never feel good happy feel numb time feel need end dont want feel numb want feel nothing want dead attempted suicide failed wish wouldve died day dont think im cut life cant even handle stress school going go work every single day hour feel like way could live neet im happy spent year life depression horrible dont think there anyway could ever happy anyone else feel like

self.SuicideWatch

hurt cut need bleed need control punch wall hand cant move need imagine killing need stare mirror understand ugly truly lie people around need know cant talk therapist cant make tell thing cant face tried write letter desperate find someone enjoy talking sixteen sad sexually confused hate noone want someone talk want feeling someone want talk need someone care dont know endless want die want end would nice

self.depression

hardest year mental health deleted

self.SuicideWatch

need help antidepressant take stress becoming much handle ive already puked several time tonight cant seek professional help due nature profession best however go counselor lose career right im taking mixture lithium orotate st john wort l theanine htp theyre helping tonight im running idea suggestion welcome continue drink comatose review post wake

self.SuicideWatch

want talk friend week ago friend literal lifeline said couldnt deal depression completely understood didnt want dragged ever since gone way avoid wont respond message want talk want say im sorry ever hurt dont know

self.depression

ive realized recently isnt one person could call car broke wanted go see movie shit hurt deleted

self.depression

feel like one doesnt cry deleted

self.depression

share doctortherapist experience bad anxietydepression use anxiety depression interchangeably one seems always follow always bad anxiety example first memory panic attack third grade needed get sharpen pencil would rather starve go grocery store want go doctor dont want treated like drug addict know anxiety talking bad experience doctor last time went doctor painful procedure done asked pain medication doctor told take advil sat hour cry pain share doctor therapist experience good bad want hear

self.Anxiety

anyone regret going pill case medication made matter worse eternally thankful pill appreciate answer depressed people kind package deal personality disorder go depression

self.depression

fucked im dumb time let opportunity slip fucked im gon na kill

self.SuicideWatch

emotion getting numb feeling depressed year ive always thinking killing somewhere heart feel finally got better recently noticed emotion numb sometime think im fine realize little happiness occasional fear ashamed mostly emptiness make feel im worthless thought

self.depression