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anxiety destroying past month anxiety made impossible function type music played public sung speaker trigger anxiety matter small quiet reduce tear physically unable talk communicate self harming blunt force like hitting hitting head wall barely leave room cant go outside go public place past day anxiety gotten bad point music trigger self harming thought along line cutting finger havent self harmed like im scared might ive waking long scratch shoulder ive keeping nail short im really scared might something therapy medication arent option dont know deal anything none usual coping technique controlling breathing humming kinda stuff worked im completely lost

self.Anxiety

dont seem like mental illness think lot people misunderstand high functioning anxiety depression friend im shy one id actually consider outgoing im always trying make new friend make people laugh take solo back packing trip friend really see someone fearless freespirited make opening mental health issue kinda difficult cant see acting way lot anxiety depression issue around romantic relationship also depersonalization issue want alone often think fact outgoing positive time friend dont realize struggle quite bit day

self.Anxiety

im fail class first time life dont motivation fix dont know im fail college inorganic class still time final week could still pas get cant seem find motivation study dont know depression lot shit happened last semester dont know

self.depression

birthday hour want end happy birthday

self.SuicideWatch

living rural area able legally drive bringing actually drive willing freaking state jerk around oh went mental hospital two week suicidal almost year ago brings tell need medically evaluated cant get drive get medically evaluated everything mile away im going ram car person start driving chill would call taxiuber since damn far away everything would cost probably around dollar per trip

self.depression

reminder death taking toll dont understand mind im undergrad part time job attending workshop get film funding submit video script two week minute long amazing opportunity yet im anxious fucking lead hopelessness go work fear rejected ive closed emotionally afraid vulnerable criticized potential romantic partner miss intimacy always put strong front want cry kill quit smoking weed cigarette three month ago ive lost friend used see regular basis dont want smoke drink much feel lonely even want talk problem feel like burden person feel spill everything therapist ive seeing regularly month ive improvement overall mood le extreme want sleep hour retreat head dream different thing fantasize day ago dreamt cat died two month ago dear professor mine committed suicide four week ago dont know turn grief something productive hard trying control something like grief dont want relapse dont want go back engaging casual sex make feel worse vulnerable take care many responsibility thought could never tell close friend pity disappointment abandonment lt thing happen tell whats happening life

self.depression

every single day think wish could normal dont even know like look others think great must regular problem like missed bus coffee order wrong u mind instead go deep dark corner make story scenario mind simply tell u worthless look around feel people staring u reason lay bed feeling guilty laying bed depression bad cant get somehow day slipped away manic state world conquer isnt possible wish normal didnt bipolar sorta like

self.bipolar

miss ex tearing apart didnt work best friend shes still life distance dont know take

self.depression

mania finest know im manic planned next month every hour ive slept hour

self.bipolar

hopefully someone relate also might large post ive treating depression somewhat successfully year month ago missed one dose trintellex take night woke took one didnt help ive spiraling control since depression manifest lack motivation uneasy future also physically suffer bout fatigue varying degree extreme severe lethargy ive kind test done one found anything wrong saying need le stress life dont started tm treatment last week hoping stimulating prefrontal alleviate depression cause strange episode doctor prescribed adderall week ago worked bit ended needing stay functional feel like explain part easier think graph x axis high bottom represents energy fatigue level axis severity symptom say go need stay positive im im ok function believe adderall thing keeping problem affect adderall tapering day im forced take know miracle drug know cure know band aid much ask last longer maby long enough tm treatment take hold brain function normally im tired im illusion people dont bad way maby job told shouldnt come back untill get better im sure dont know entail know care think thing bother knowing whats wrong know im depressed would hard trintellex stop working sudden able cope stressful situation wasnt episode believe high functioning depression unmotivated lazy played video game binge watched anything first tried adderall felt like went felt like felt motivated wanted get thing done wanted active bad day today wanted talk situation think made feel little better thanks reading anyone make

self.depression

give abstain period hyper sexuality im hypersexuality problem tend indulge urge wonder make worseif try ignore im anything unsafe irresponsible wonder increase kind feeling always honored calm tip

self.bipolar

bpd v bipolar ii diagnosis feel conflicted therapist psychiatrist conflicted whether bpd bipolar ii see side im upset fact could bpd feel absolutely hopeless resilient therapy due lot wall still always hoped medicine fixall solution found medicine may even work ive latuda month started lamotrigine replace latuda feel absolutely hopeless ive depressed episode week continue depressed longer idk ill dont think ive medication long enough know work

self.bipolar

morning anxiety struggling year thought maybe someone similar issue every morning exception morning wake early wake panic attack necessarily triggered specific event thought seeing happens right wake right lot anxiety caused recent decision take gap semester college wake panicked prior going year point also tendency wake hour alarm anyone tip prevent would really like able sleep past sunrise

self.Anxiety

good morning good morning time started writing name toods year old abused mentally emotionally life sexually assaulted different time close family friend bullied heavily throughout schoolcareer used therapist literally everybody ever met mature age great advice give graduating high school becoming stagnant two year afterwards seeing didnt get college plan life high school got raise dog father bought whim self harmed first time scratched nail back hand tore skin told mother immediately afterwards upon father find first thing told thats fucking stupid like father eight emotionally abandoned diagnosed anxiety due incident happened messing pant control overall really bad day got therapy didnt help th grade groped brother ex best friend thirteen time ten knew groomed roleplaying extremely explicit sexual message shoved hand pant forced give handjob groped september year immediately told mother numerous therapist throughout life reason starting hit right back august finally moved abusive home apartment brother best friend weird wake dish done father came home cringing someone speaking flinching front door opened someone walked hall upon graduating h got psychiatrist ive two year love he made realize thing didnt notice medicated weekly visit im non toxic environment yet feel though im getting worse worse self harmed tonight cutting mutilated shaving razor pair scissors get said razor cut le centimeter long im tired ive getting worse night terror bad wake cry shaking sweating recently wetting im hyper sexual sex repulsed time ill self harm masturbating im sore bleeding im fucking tired time want die fucking badly cant cant would hurt many people couldnt yet im stuck fucking shell body dont feel anything depression dont feel joy excitement happiness everyday oversleep sort depression episode meet new people overshare didnt realize girlfriend told didnt realize making people uncomfortable im fucking tired im rambling dont want emit hospital im fucking tired type tired sleep cant fix body ache constantly cry stay night cry time cant sleep night terror group friend brother mother love know tell often room discord chat post negative stuff keep posting negative negative thing get even worse aspiring artist cant seem anything right eye know im young know im allowed make mistake every time make mistake make fucking tired im fucking tired im well tonight threw razor decided post shouldnt self harm goal psychiatrist janurary thanks holiday either way good morning cant sleep dont want sleep want die edit changed highschool school career

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please want pain stop sadness loneliness grief long capable loving wont go away must take much effort die

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believe root anxiety feeling inadequate challenge deleted

self.Anxiety

best advice hi name omar im really depressed sad find best way deal depression focus try bedroom

self.depression

idiot friend told somebody something shouldnt feel terrible deleted

self.Anxiety

boyfriend killed common friend blocked thinking drink sleep since soulmates fell love first day last major problem life solved recent found broke month suicide together year really loved problem u breaking sort misterious reason last yearhe instantly monts day ghosting jealousy paranoia except fact faithful loving tried lot time talk somewhat suffering lot last year thinking sort stuffmaybe hiding something cheating gay etc nonsense broke last time seemed happy last month breakup partying takin extasywith shy introvert good guy smoking alcohol saw weekend stayed help low pillsparties talked separate life got along well bein honesthe started new relationshiplaughed loved like old time happy life told finally fell love someone got bit detachedwhen met always wanted get back together fight love also insisted finding someone new din fight like last month decided break decided day place kill made love nightday knew faked good sort chose spend last day intimate funny hugged tight long last time saw last person see day later left place found killed cop found exit bag inert gas helium devastated also thought mental psychosis sort haunt sort said goodbye wanted leave good place dissapeared answered message saying ok well vacation get back business anything wrong move maybe love much always forgave manage forgive hurting find solution together without drama also sort problem money work family amazing beautiful loving man

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anxiety rhythm body experience symptom thats highly prevalent im highstress period exam ive struggling long time feel somehow learn navigate adjust area ill much better taking challenge life ive researched far wide topic well talked psychiatrist havent gotten anything detailed enough satisfy convince mind ok part life time day anxiety follows rhythm throughout pattern terrifyingly consistent go like morning anxiety mind sort still affected sleep thus really awake enough care problem day forenoon anxiety mind gradually wake start reacting every anxious thought arises mostly uncertainty thus escalating anxiety body noon anxiety anxiety reached maximum cant concentrate likely cry rage need get chair wander around aimlessly call friend etc try make room inside away work also feel like avoidance even temporary relief suffering cant usually eat lunch anxiety around pm anxiety point anxiety subsides almost flick switch think clearly perspective typically take positive attitude im different person cant understand tormenting past hour anxious thought seemed scary minute hour ago still theyve lost power peace mind rest day anxiety earlier bout anxiety exhausted start eating comfort food dont want exercise want enjoy bliss giving fuck bestowed upon god know reason funny thing day like say okay bad survived know let remember tool know hit tomorrow nothing changed next day fall every single time going cycle every day tiring despair irritability stress depression creates lose sight purpose im higher wish quitting nothing worth level torment pattern consistent lead believe problem something rhythm human body along line certain point pm body produced enough feelgood hormone subdue anxiety could adjust time hormone kick earlier day mean med whatever could skip torture session maybe naive idk whole subject anxiety relates cycle human body seems hard find research talking professional know cortisol level follow rhythm way knowing thats whats happening youve followed along far thank id appreciate input matter want take control thing try let go feel like boat anchor around neck going stressful time

self.Anxiety

doctor misunderstood suicidal ive seeing psychiatrist depression holiday relationship strain news celebrity suicide brief moment last week thought dwelled suicide situation however ive always strong mind matter miserable dark thought get know never take action end life pretty immediately moment knew ever felt dark enough get point action would join buddhist temple learn monk pretty happy satisfied revelation unfortunately shared moment psychiatrist think suicide risk prescribed antipsychotic insisting call every night know sure theyre trying safer sorry making want stop seeing psychiatrist cause want help depression deal suicide worry cause really suicidal

self.depression

much wrong like although think real person would count real outside tricked terrible wording title box welcome rant anxiety wanted write subreddit brought lot supportfriends information last week ive used reddit im hoping there something said whats read go ive asocial life like never talked anyone age cause noticed different social energy level also mean there nothing talked found interesting call judgemental thats energetic back grade school knew quiet time hated feeling like annoying someone knew perceived annoyingweird light guess didnt many friend never felt like missing right im feel ridiculous stupid feeling like made bad friend since like decided give chance turned fear confrontation made toxic relationship anyway ive acted like basically everyone know even family ive never extra emotional unless anger thats usually strongest emotion frustrating ive never taken step become closer anyone gained personality year still dont talk like live inside head noone really know except last year weve lot death curse family underlined bad relationship always cry tell everything alright otherwise since im big emotional lump human cry much funeral part whole grief period form protection noone know enough cant dmfeel insecure led hardship end led knowing want like major university study russian wouldnt thought werent insecure atm depressed try harder anything else im stressed scared change im second year never hobby long anyway piano frustrating quit yr horseback riding exciting dancing worsening low selfesteem body like writing though mdd helpful keeping away stress get person irl tldr feel like im missing hunk personality need someone talk feel alone embarrassed many thing arent remotely important jsut feel awful lot time advice hug helpful

self.Anxiety

ive given life hi first time posting site made account specifically post dont know im posting maybe tell story im male suffered depression since throughout shitty life ive bullied weight abandoned know sound like generic teenage loser film lol suffering depression alone never told soul plan suicide year told father first expected kind shock worrying reaction got telling get job ignoring next month left go live mother little background father mother got pregnant came closet gay left since used fragile state benefit mocking berating private dont want get wrong idea dont hold resentment towards leaving told last straw long line issue longer talk dont regret later told mother sent see psychiatrist next day diagnosed depression shocking know prescribed medication therapy also went support group teach act normal society throughout entire process ive lost family friend made college stopped talking including best friend people thought would support gone one havent accepted job ive applied part time included im running place apply degree useless im broke mother still supporting keep telling much give saying making worse ive told life school came easy dont mean sound entitled anything treated outcast wasnt allowed move advanced class treated like shit almost classmate high school internalized college never went class never took internship serious club read anything hear read dont younger make mistake like want successful need thought useless thing another reason made fun year issue abroad credit didnt transfer managed graduate also retook couple class failed grade replaced failing grade ive lived life thinking thing would get better im toxic ive somehow pushed away anyone thought cared including girl thought loved people left mother little brother sister resents abandoning father world full people dont care sadistic there hope someone like yesterday argument stepfather told useless much waste money space told going kill relieve everyone told house left go dont know ended driving mile away entire time considering kill without pain mother called concerned decided day later told happened upset defending stepfather dont know anymore dont think want die dont want exist world dream gone dwindled winning lottery moving wood left alone there hope though dont know else anyway thanks reading made far

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want die iam yo everything seems fine hey guy let introduce name paul live germany girlfriend parent divorced dont much money problemsthe question want kill answer dont know talked many people thought depression havent want die school give much pressure iam good schooleverything feel emptyim intersted anythingeverytime go want kill even morecan anyone help give advicewould good u read point good day

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ruined life advice would appreciated hopeless situation warning story super depressing embarrassing honestly flat weird dont know anyone react feel like pretty unique situation absolutely hope kind jumbled mess im gon na write much possible without thinking hopefully make sense ok problem really started left school honestly clue wanted everyone huge expectation somewhat well school ranked th year honestly didnt feel smart mostly bullshitted exam found shortcut give examiner wanted anyway end year feeling like im actually good enough good uni course ended feeling like choose course would make money also felt like follow passion ended choosing film degree actually lot enjoyment film high school business degree totally passionate felt like le embarrassing degree studying film would probably never get job ended choosing film moved away home ended living friend friend began studying point always major depression social anxiety body image issue unique right living people bearable fun old friend high school living city wed hang average maybe every two week rest time mostly home constantly felt judged two people living sibling way already really close always felt like judging didnt anything day besides occasionally work fast food place watch movie laptop sometimes would go drive nowhere make think something living situation nothing common two people felt embarrassed saw time wasnt anything life anyway back subject uni beginning felt like even supposedly easy degree wasnt good enough classmate much experience film seemed know exactly getgo meanwhile overwhelmed hard make friend ended going optional lecture really felt like wasnt learning anything constantly comparing others seemed much better aforementioned mental illness obviously didnt help lot embarrassing thing happened year here one stand one first class split group three tutor said group three exception froze ended odd one entire class able get group three one left tutor said right thats sorted end class said didnt group asked could join one make four basically said wouldnt make exception id sort solution extremely embarrassing problem never show class obviously failed thats one example countless embarrassing misadventure got first year uni real highlight year occasionally hanging friend high school actually end couple somewhat good friend uni although never anything outside uni here summary year outside high school hated living people mostly hated uni felt inferior classmate didnt really learn anything mostly lazy try book would chapter ruined life end year obviously pretty depressed felt like needed fresh start decided change course business degree decided move away entirely new city great idea thought start fresh make new friend lol already knew friend high school lived city felt like might okay find somewhere stay initially wanted move bunch stranger share house increase likelihood making friend end well good friend social anxiety ended taking found choosing place could live avoid awkward social interaction experienced living people last year great choice right could go wrong alone dangerous thought time sound like stellar idea moved place started uni happened next weird actually made couple good friend uni werent class together hung outside uni went party ok time even dont know managed pull close friend happened meanwhile actual course content daunting said never passionate business showed well area scraped others semester ended cram entire course content brain week exam passed exam soon brain immediately forgot everything learnt till point basically problem last year however time wasnt going give rather didnt want give thought would embarrassing give degree second time h friend close graduating successful life golly gon na complete degree even completely hate literally future prospect thats uni going wasnt enjoying wanted finish anyway avoid embarrassment clue would without changing subject remember friend made earlier well first one ended leaving course wasnt passionate enough ironic right still stayed close one got job fast food place embarrassing needed money spent way much time also made really close friend work friend hung almost every week great first people told gay oh god havent even mentioned till point lol yeah thats great thing add list he closeted homo one also gay also ended kinda ruining entire self esteem making hate first gay experience thats whole nother story seriously story long wouldnt able fit ill say key event making hate anyway even though alone home bunch really good friend work hung one friend uni wasnt enjoying uni kept occupied gave vague goal work towards life word liveable enjoyable liveable functioning here happened next thing really made think god whoever fucking developed skin condition wont go detail affect face kinda like acne first thing people notice look slowly surely became worse would hang people someone would point malicious way mind wow okay face really really red skin condition slowly became bane existence constantly thought every hour every day still there cure way guess skin condition comment person guess correct answer receive nothing could deal first went drained already body image problem still able somewhat function society however skin condition appeared slowly stopped everything going public nightmare constantly felt like everyone looking judging hanging friend always made feel inferior every single moment interacting person agonising constantly could feel judging skin performing simple task like going clothes shop hard slowly stopped going social event face getting bad lived thing could alone thought thought told kill failure life ugly freak something mental breakdown called mum told suicidal skin ruining semblance life im lucky really caring mum dropped everything came city help sort life organised therapy trip dermatologist here went dermatologist help said skin condition incurable basically wasting ton money nothing therapy mum organised guy specialised body dysmorphic disorder hated felt like going psychology motion giving strategy made sense paper didnt actually work real life honestly tried apply strategy social occasion would always end freezing spending every single moment self conscious skin quit therapy told mum felt better lie gone trouble help said constantly worried didnt want here everything began really fall apart couldnt concentrate uni brain constantly filled negative thought everyone looking youre freak theyre judging theyre uncomfortable around kill became impossible focus already didnt like degree cherry top even wanted try best couldnt lecture tutorial took place pitch black room would able function reality face face others impossible feat quit uni well really quit took leave absence working sitting home sometimes thing friend friend slowly became drift apart would ask something would make excuse skin looked particularly bad day uni friend kept saying catch didnt want see see horrible face eventually people stopped asking day sitting home working least working making money right nope turn living really really expensive managing took leave absence uni unable get extremely helpful government allowance studying away home basically working nothing slowly losing saving paying extremely expensive living situation couldnt find anyone take place would keep paying rent yearly contract eventually end year almost money lease moved moved grandparent house town two hour away city got job almost never give hour im old thats im living grandparent nothing ive lost friend one person regularly message old friend high school job job hoped would distract life one shift every couple week im literally nothing life dont know thing im passionate playing tennis however playing tennis make skin condition twenty time worse hobby talent money friend life mum visiting soon shes going see im hopeless go new year eve nobody birthday next week twenty first plan im even suicidal anymore im apathetic ive accepted im always going miserable ive accepted im failure mind cloud real thought emotion anymore im drifting day blur dont know fuck anyway there abridged version life story real pickmeup huh feel like there much could write many life event shaped person forced situation im life feel like complex web bunch life event emotion mental illness lost friend thing vaguely connected invisible thread anywho advice would appreciated thanks guy tldr money friend passion live grandparent im nothing life wut

self.depression

alcohol induced anxiety ive never anxiety life something new worrisome went cruise week ago got pretty hammered first time life im pretty sure something close alcohol poisoning threw six hour shake figured one time bad night drinking shook new year eve come around get pretty buzzed drunk didnt spin dizziness hour finishing drinking started get nauseous shake couldnt get sleep hyperventilating little struggled shake bad feeling despite hydrating eating breakfast next day pretty rough feeling stomach figured drank much didnt pace recently bourbon dinner hour dinner feel starting freak depite fact know handle one shot bourbon feel pretty helpless cant drink anymore without sick think horrific experience cruise messing mind making feel like im going sick even though shouldnt anyone suggestion relationship symptom ive help greatly appreciated

self.Anxiety

lonely night considering suicide need someone talk im gon na alone tonight dont think handle thought worse worse last couple week self medicating doesnt help one really want talk someone hour get work anyone want

self.Anxiety

psych ward poetry awake every morning moan groan society deemed insane longer covered filth fettered chain except course chemical restraint nonconsensually shot muscle vein burning pain longer carry pump full geodon conscious thought gone

self.bipolar

diagnosed bipolar february since lithium previously dexedrine xanax seroquel prn well mood still wasnt stabilized added rexulti latuda seroquel night long think would take get med many med change

self.bipolar

last year odds broke insurance etc managed admit need help depression finally get dr try med umpteenth time cost month pocket absolutely change plus month later let try different med right always thator im enough well point cant continue wretched disease posing thought relationship life seriously loss ive tried extensive meditation ssri host med drug quit alcohol completely almost two year regular exercise first etc nada nothing hell live like call living

self.depression

committing suicide tonight iv reached final straw cant go anymore im year old fucked last time family longer talk reason go im serious ending life tonight family see im sorry

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naming coping long road exhausting gad still ahead fond extremely helpful use analogy naming state mind anxiety think leader real self analogy like treating anxiety shadow mean treat state mind like shadowed anxiety still still thought im crazy main leader thought process instead anxiety take running thought way thinking really take fear factor help let thought slide away noticed gone share inner battle help guy

self.Anxiety

leave positive impact ending life want life make others happy really hate though simply cant put living possible im thinking ending life really soon get need thing im probably gon na spontaneously disappear every community im want everyones last memory positive one make sure last thing people hear something good think back theyll happy sad im gone

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hate life im good type thing dont know else im point ive cried sleep three night row cant even say truly sleep ive slept total maybe two hour wonderful little boy reason havent gone thru anything he still baby wouldnt even remember mom seems care argue time lost one person could talk feel like option end think pain wont feel anymore honestly make happy dont know anymore

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birthday gon na type long sob story dont really feel like ill tldr today bday ive felt like shit awile tharapymeds aint doin shit ima kill tonight chose birthday family remember day isnted thanks reddit made final day almost tolerable

self.depression

dodid survive college im set go back school next month back school mean ive completed grand total two week college since graduating high school closer get starting freaked feel one hand feel like option living home toxic seems like best way move life want learn new thing prepare career ultimately independence hand im worst cold foot imaginable barely made high school attendance biggest issue know go havent able finish book year idea focus studying like think im relatively smart lack commitment focus course emotional stability top bipolar ive struggling disordered eating ocd tendency mixed general anxiety adhd hypomanic enrolled class thought none mattered im trying honest im loss im running time decide im really ready advice story empathy anything would greatly appreciated thank taking time read woe

self.bipolar

love love bf year f april said going colorado clear mind said great went sleep woman met work conference flew colorado day affair broke saying doesnt feeling doesnt love feel horrible got back together undiagnosed time thought sex love addiction maybe maybe may make say he sorry still see something eye right eye change whole demeanor he sad he energetic he mess see im hurting energetic sympathetic head family house end may said stopped talking girl said huge mistake june he bit better taking trip utah colorado arizona great one day middle trip stop talking get super irritated get argument one day next two day he back normal said needed sleep hungry sure july great time tell might mood disorder therapist tell get appointment see pdoc waiting august say want work sex love addiction want alone work lie went see girl weekend flew call monday saying he sorry say need help love he scared addiction im damage control head buddhist retreat clear mind come back zen peaceful said feel emotion since finally waited month enters pdoc say youre depressed prescribes anti depressant lexapro wrong hell break lose two week he asshole irritable moody doesnt want talk next thing know curled ball corner fml talking shoot head end aug headed couple psychologist therapist get lexapro go lamictal mg rise sept couple therapy great med working say im suppose feel say moment clarity he mg say think im going tell pdoc leave mg im like ok work work great month he nice sympathetic nice man saw hope oct great beginning month toward end job getting stressful tell let meditate let breath seems work oct th happens say he going he bipolar pill month doesnt feeling say want alone work recovery doesnt see marrying child pack stuff car im crushed crushed right away think lamictal therapeutic dose doesnt listen day fly see girl didnt know till middle week wtf problem say feel feeling feeling doesnt feel start talking conspiracy theory celebrity sex scandal hilary covering he everywhere face eye everything different take pregnancy test im pregnant im sure made manic said could dont see horrible kick spoke pdoc started raising dose lamictal going go also gave xanax calm nerve nov still manic tell abort baby doesnt want child im fucking losing calmed bit still adamant doesnt want life he worried want life going spend time next week birthday im crushed plan mania year lost im starting really think didnt love feel abandoned get new life new life growing doesnt care advice

self.bipolar

going friend wedding bed thinking wont situation like hair suck hairdresser sick week sure dress choice travel dress cramp social anxiety wont able conversation probably look stupid partner know everyone since school also afraid fun chatting friend stay around smile face able say one word pls help friend wedding survival suggestion

self.Anxiety

vivid dream lamactillamotrigine started taking lamotrigine week half ago got ta say done wonder far depression ive experienced vivid dream life bad good anyone else take experience thing result drug stop time

self.bipolar

chicken amp waffle eating lunch earlier today chickenampwaffles started chocking food time slowed life flashed thought goner struggling last breathe completely unexpected surrounded plus people sooo fucking embarrassing btw prior moment fantasized dying hand full time year hasnt best year lot terrible low ups moment realized life precious delicate moment gone forever without showing warning understand possibility taking life would brainless decision could ever make thankful didnt matter bad shit may life know shit tough know pain hurt nothing hurt bad gone forever today probably best day year didnt die death chicken waffle dont want push idea anyone anything hope help someone help one person ill glad ig post httpsinstagramcompbdwcnbdgbny

self.depression

imagine shouldnt feel way yet escape dream job amazing wife pay bill time still money left end monthetc exercise eat well maybe could use sleep certainly go bed early enough yet dont feel happy put every opportunity criticize every slipup even small error mean nothing smart enough good enough hideous dont know got maybe giant mistake one folk fell crack faked made time feel isolated world shelled moment feel like wife roommate best never tell really feel always meh indecisive always dismissed saying agreeable dont experience high low much highest point seems middle lowest somewhat never low dont many friend would love friend dont one feel like losing arent really interested hearing seeing see facade tell interesting person wouldnt blame either way never much say anyway told really wanted say please dont go really enjoying around would get creeped even though love friend still get anxious regret making plan leading point see yet always want thing dont want answer phone even friend family isolate much possible apology incoherent ramblings random stranger internet feel like slipping farther point longer play part dont want play happy anymore want exist without black hole within cloud hovering want think positively able forgive mistake made punish belittle want social make new friend able go somewhere make real connection people read far apologize also commend thanks maybe getting head beneficial effect

self.depression

dont want die want pain stop deleted

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strategy time hi depression episodic like mine recently yr episode im early maybe episode life strategy use time build defense hit currently conscious need better job battening hatch

self.depression

want kill scared die deleted

self.SuicideWatch

anyone feel tense like release anxiety thats trapped body feel like heavy cinder block want relax weightless

self.Anxiety

relapse hi think im relapsing im extremely anxious awkward depressed since remember last year ive figured problem mother narcissist screwing whole life anyway ego death trip hell back solo pilgrimage around australia hell lot alcohol year ago ive started confident content started working jiu jitsu feel might slipping away im starting miss jiu jitsu class hardly going gym eating bad food getting harder get bed im starting drink im bit scared week ago walking tall feeling great feel ugly disgusting sometimes freak pace around house work courage leave front door errgh

self.Anxiety

want fall asleep next someone never wake want feel loved much ask

self.SuicideWatch

hello hi wanted post hi reason im good week little bit bad week im feeling sad hi

self.depression

mind someone battling anxiety someone battling mental health depression anxiety cant tell pleased find subreddit havent diagnosed professional doctor tested read people bout experience aforementioned completely relate spent hour reading watching video tedx talk spoke lot people used outgoing lackluster giving regard others thought young child didnt care thought invincible somehow senior year university started battle mental health depression anxiety started become worried lot becoming depressed process would go leave home would take everything personal attack thought taking life time simply wondering even fortunate alive life shouldnt hard thought couldnt shake mentality didnt anything bedridden better part two year one college year graduated became negative worried pleasing people making lasting impression would never go wasnt wanted tried avoid social setting invited simply wouldnt anything didnt feel contribution setting would often sulk mope thought creating hypothetical situation scenario head didnt understand stayed cooped home bed never leaving would starve job wasnt making money became angry world would never reach anyone thought would bothering someone el time wasnt worthy time would happy people reached far long story short im still dealing trident problem thread certainly motivate help get back track im road recovery im done depressed still beat sometimes remember im human earth people le fortunate could find happiness reason live couldnt selfish body mind life precious precious

self.Anxiety

got called n word today hurt true live small town black people mile around fit stereotype im lazy im stupid im working grocery store checker went known sjw college got useless degree wont get better job ive anti depressant long time ive built enough tolerance dont work feel depressed time sometimes sleep day shift start afternoon doctor wont increase dosage take im sleeping sit around writing shitty fiction cleaning insult day thought coworker mine cared problem always seemed sympathetic vented getting job wanted earlier asking saw new star war movie say get back work fking nr completely serious right front people old man customer laughed like tell tearing work afterward went bathroom cry think may mild autism guess didnt pick sign getting annoyed talking time many occasion approached ask talked way said seriously annoying know need sort reality check already give every day night current situation fking friend im lazy po nr

self.depression

anybody else feel sad checking others snapchat story especially weekend everyone like parade fake life make seem like party every night youre home bed watching people fun

self.Anxiety

benzo withdrawal else experiencing benzo withdrawal dose valium cut really feeling today

self.Anxiety

seems like enough throwaway obvious reason feel air around grow stale dark knowledge set upon ive truly enough point ive tried hard ive tried everything ive succeeded embarrassing time time cant live like anymore disease clutching brain like lifedraining parasite making hurt others im overdue runtofthelitter wasnt meant survive long im finished long ago man fuck

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think time return heart pacing hand start shake go rushing bathroom go find somewhere safesomewhere eye shall judge watch feel safe feel see something regular life cant thought like others halt step claw skin make rethink everything see trust thought thing know never leave never fail certain comfort never truly lonely voice always talking shit judging judging around end day sleep warzone mind called ceasefire know never leaving love

self.depression

lost best friend month ago suicide feel like im losing genuinely hold together anymore im teetering brink insanity havent done anything past week due complete lack motivation sitting room talking make even suicidal im tired calling useless garbage doesnt deserve loved deserve treated way friend family ignore cry help therapy doesnt help help given cant possibly fathom ill stay alive much longer miss one truly cared hanged went home house gave ominous hint didnt call police fast enough save feel failed family hismy friend nobody truly know much meant havent able get real sleep get vivid picture corpse five month everybody expects get pain still hurt much happiness temporary low like feel like solution rope around neck morbid want see cry like losing thanks reading horrible thought

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want share diagnosis someone recently diagnosed help cope dont want risk family finding bipolar found friend close family diagnosed recently bipolar diagnosed year would dearly love reach offer support able share everything ive learned also make feel le alone like safe resource someone understands empathizes said nobody talk thing havent shared diagnosis family intention know everybody different theory best decision given family dynamic big thing first diagnosed fear couldnt trust might say manic depressed might share secret unintentionally felt super untrustworthy hard time trusting faced prospect sharing deeply personal secret someone might able keep secret dont know im really worried might family someday theyre unstable mood tell good idea history irrational erratic behavior make nervous person always misunderstood isolated want able tell person didnt fall hole isolation fact closer someone ever knew dont want jeopardize boundary risk yes know plenty way offer support help resource without sharing personal mental condition im mostly asking last step sharing secret please feel free suggest alternative

self.bipolar

anyone else pretend theyre conversation someone head depression know probably sound crazy sometimes fantasize talking someone depression ive never opened anyone wish could

self.depression

im strong enough live never im know havent really lived yet thats point cant ive year therapy there help problem im weak sensitive little bitch never change nothing left worth living nothing actually care im worth nothing anyone simple life wasnt

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