Unnamed: 0
int64 0
34.8k
| text
stringlengths 9
21.6k
⌀ | label
stringclasses 4
values |
|---|---|---|
34,648 | exam think fail think best end deleted | self.SuicideWatch |
34,649 | edging towards hypomanic episode worried one thing particular deleted | self.bipolar |
34,650 | shooti choose medication xanax trazodone amitriptyline hey everyone looking general experience med given trazodone insomnia caused add anxiety night im low dose idea actually help still take small dose xanax night brain wont relax enough let sleep ive prescribed amitriptyline ringing ear anxiety cause warning though interaction trazedone potentially dangerous need figure wean wean trazodone begin amitriptyline xanax overkill mean people said benzos cause alzheimers long term better idea med stay try get experience | self.Anxiety |
34,651 | want die im sorry never thought would feel like dont actually want stop living right want die make stop cant anymore feel like im really anymore im sorry | self.SuicideWatch |
34,652 | breathing issue hello struggling breathing issue since around age first didnt know causing parent took asthma test lung xrays know causing eventually learned anxiety causing issue feel though need take breathsyawn get air even though enough air constant state breathing awareness hyperventilation air hunger happens last week time dont anything specific particularity anxious moment besides everyday anxiety anyone else suffer well currently taking anxiety medicine dabbled past never long enough see effect | self.Anxiety |
34,653 | people disappoint every single friendship ive made deteriorated toxic relationship eventually needed abandon asshole current friendship got feel like slowly heading route destined friendless people really selfish coldhearted im going give middle finger go life solo cause im verge | self.SuicideWatch |
34,654 | hearing everyone talk endorphin kickfeeling significantly betterafter working yet experience discouraging working severely depressed point crippled hard enough fighting year year life listen dont give ups keep family friend watching everyone elseguys girlsgetting healthy happy fit body want want discouraging cant stress enough anyone else experiencing problem anyone solved | self.depression |
34,655 | relative recently made attempt thanksgiving told one cousin early twenty hospital overdosing large amount painkiller people pulled aside tell said drunken accident believe messaged ive struggled depression im need anyone talk also said saw doctor therapist college found antidepressant thats helped wanted find someone talk question could help responded didnt really confirm suicide attempt didnt deny implication either said meant lot considering talking doctor maybe trying medication would message want help anything anything else saydo close family usually see talk holiday gathering feel like start texting feel like trying keep eye annoyed also confused situation rest relative tried tell accident sure actually believe father didnt seem act different asked drive cousin apartment afterward found odd would think knew suicidal would wanted time talk make sure okay got home alright would wanted stay relative something wasnt alone unsure talk let know think suicide attempt already know trying hide anyone advice please post dont really experience situation read talking tip assessment guide right since arent close im unsure trying talk would good | self.SuicideWatch |
34,656 | anybody else think reddit social medium bad u im trying oh humanity fucked maybe youre unhappy dont know totally disconnected world though either | self.depression |
34,657 | dont know get hole deleted | self.depression |
34,658 | youve felt helpless hopeless amp unchangeable yr know fault allowing drunk amp letting something happen made quit job amp leave hometown everyone know everyone believe wasnt raped deserved | self.SuicideWatch |
34,659 | everything could ask feel terrible everyday deleted | self.Anxiety |
34,660 | bother keep trying life objectively worthless meaningless came conclusion attempt losing inceldom completely futile wanted make new friend new semester uni cant even make male friend either since even guy dont want seen anywhere got called fucking junkie addict weirdo ignored group member tried say hi lecture dont even ever use drug look sickly due illness summer made lose weight make look gaunt there noone life take initiative talk whoever try speak either ignores give shallow uninterested response nothing matter anybody play classical piano high level nobody play used really good shape nearly died summer lost speak language fluently learning th noone talk graduated bachelor degree trying finish master degree next year nobody care dont particularly enjoy anything try make something point never anyone share nobody care apparently ugly deserve care anyone world even job teaching assistant first time introduce self class girl laugh make fun right front face hear talking behind back day finally girl talking seemed like interested asked said yes turn joke stood next time went class girlfriend laughing even business event professional setting people give weird look im sick every day grow hateful towards people especially girl everything shallow never part fit anywhere even try making way life get ridiculed constantly nobody give shit accomplish wont ever someone care accomplishment never mean anything anyone let honest smart enough accomplish something great anyway im trying keep busy know dont occupy time constantly break self destruct dont even buy thing like anymore know destroy anyway get suicidal depressed really dont know life except work dont enjoy atleast keep alive wondering anyone else went something similar managed find purpose somehow feel live hanging thread day think wouldnt even mattered died last summer appendix ruptured noone would even care except parent | self.depression |
34,661 | therapist said liked week really brightened day worried time like idea dreading appointment every week | self.depression |
34,662 | cant send email todo list month daily procrastinated former landlord didnt give deposit back obvious lie basically claim used electricity reality hooked several house illegally power meter including hot tubhes basically trying scam deposit anyway cant send email cant even bear work wording painful work there many worry try next considering shocked dont know deal think email every day feel mad distract something else escape going month im embarrassed need help reframing think something | self.Anxiety |
34,663 | parent trying get kill long story short mother offering help kill | self.depression |
34,664 | germany severe depressed year deleted | self.SuicideWatch |
34,665 | control never know anxiety thing cant control kinda brought net neutrality deal already wrote couple letter posted make super anxious cant enjoy anything else work anxious big looming issue cant control advice deal anxiety kind issue done everything | self.Anxiety |
34,667 | misbehaving class giving impression dumb unintelligent due trying hide anxiety sorry found reddit helpful last question asked related anxiety question ask one anybody else give impression dumb say really stupid thing due anxiety feeling insecure often say stupid thing like example asked day female blackbird exist idiotic know full well knowing blurt thing without thinking say thing distract away anxiety hide also misbehaving loud certain class school find difficult struggle anxiety misbehave say stupid unintelligent thing like mentioned earlier argue teacher basically arsehole fuelling anxiety believe everybody think im dumb hate due bad behaviour people also believe act dumb attention get annoyed really isnt case wish didnt act like dont want people know im anxious mess act stupid misbehave instead cant control really getting want well school get good grade currently gcse avoid people disliking really hate like know deep im really stupid im actually bad kid anybody advice deal relate sorry really stupidweird question thanks anybody read lol | self.Anxiety |
34,668 | anyone else get utterly consumed scenario happening head completely fabricated ive really bad day today im feeling edge im constantly utterly petrified manage though know come always im imagining something happen know couldnt never happen something really bad cant get obsessive irrational thought head | self.Anxiety |
34,670 | feel like life already im yr old girl severe bipolar ptsd im failing school verge dropping havent gone school week im depressed suicidal anything anymore cant even simple thing like watch show go outside even thing enjoy like draw write exhausting feel extremely alone dont trust therapist dad refuse take back psych get new medication well mania drawing everyday cleaned lot social month everything went back shit month feel like im verge suicide cant think positive anymore hurt badly one person make happy girlfriend feel like burden mental health wish would go away get worse get older try pretend doesnt bother keep break down leave house collapsed middle class floor started uncontrollably cry yelling cant help feel hopeless pray get murdered im scared kill getting point im third time trying post ghdfhh | self.bipolar |
34,672 | confusing partner hey guy first post boyfriend recently moved together weve dating year im noticing mood swing interrupted lifestyle im depressed really struggle chore make morning drag im manic im place creative flurry hypersexuality mention strange bout paranoia really confusing ive tried explain disorder based brain chemical fluctuation isnt one triggering thankfully therapist willing take u session talk believe help u come solution another thing mention started lamictal month ago giving short term memory problem noticed right bat far know biggest issue condition lack memory severe enough point get trouble feel obligated take care meremind told dont want pressure say memory problem gotten little bit better time im hoping temporary anybody experience memory issue mood stabilizer way possibly go | self.bipolar |
34,673 | decided go sleep hour birthday fuck im going make throwaway account two year havent celebrated birthday two year celebrating holiday ive away family due army go friend friend fuck im gon na go bed rest hour ever want tiring as emotionally physically mentally draining job dont get wrong love army youll start realize people back realize got nobody youll realize birthday holiday another day week | self.depression |
34,674 | even apply retail job ive worked restaurant briefly didnt work quit havent motivated find new job depression go school job fair saw part time walgreens people booth felt intimidating im hesitating apply near location nearby seem bad review possibly due unruly staff unruly customer im afraid customer service associate painful job always hear story help speak stranger ruin view people start hate everyone try look something retail dont know else find though like im incompatible everything | self.Anxiety |
34,675 | im tired living want grab dad gun end ive completely given hope aim gun towards roof mouth effective le painful choice rather oding unless caliber small idk im tired everything depression anxiety stress constantly building found girl met online lied going away something today found recent picture fb prom party posing guy picture weve known year mutual feeling go away time earlier year havent contact ended lie told feel like ive used emotional gratification like didnt really feeling said hell shes told quite lot personal stuff really got along shared many interest hobby would chat almost everyday take care thing back earlier year extremely hard open anyone year emotional abuse parent crushed selfesteem dust especially since im fat ugly still amazes couple year ago went never getting close anyone anymore somehow got know healthy started better eating healthy working etc also motivated finish first step becoming counselor remembering day chatting online fun together kept going ive lost hope really want kill since im burden family dont want put debt get grad school stress thati want die | self.SuicideWatch |
34,676 | tell bos truth hello friend monday attempted suicide struggling mixed episode week overdosed pretty much pill worst lithium though regular hospital day psychiatric hospital day bos know hospital doesnt know think especially doesnt know couldnt use phone two problem problem one apparently call talk regular hospital dont remember really messed dont remember first day idea told im assuming lied since cant remember lie going keep problem ive worked year im honestly pretty tired lying dont think want tell im bipolar maybe say depression there le stigma regular depression nowadays dont know anyone experience go | self.bipolar |
34,677 | thoughtful gift get girlfriend anxiety panic attack deleted | self.Anxiety |
34,678 | ever problem sudden rage day last week problem would become extremely angry short amount time really small thing like entered email password incorrectly try wanted put fist wallliterally furious minute fine | self.bipolar |
34,679 | motivation school antidepressant therapy dont work deleted | self.depression |
34,680 | jive simply judging tone guess who phone teeth left pick bone im apathy buzzard drone baby brother could jive pedant trite contrite contrived upped dose many time freed soul enslaves mind simply judging tune know heard news gold crimson fade blue eye wide open year soon bloodshot eye know who swinging cutting ball bumping line lift make cry little sister dance whip boy transe taking vantage youthful bliss fault ignorance | self.bipolar |
34,682 | night terror im sure addressed yet duplicate post im sorry definitely anxiety severity long time im point ive terrible nightmare basically every night anyone dealt dealing please let know cope thanks everyone | self.Anxiety |
34,683 | shared story something wonderful happened would mind sharing story december difficult month subreddit became sanctuary especially hard moment first thank helped realize alone sort therapy shared video recent challenge facebook felt completely vulnerable almost removed response love encouragement began pouring empowering brought sense hope havent people part life began private messaging sharing story mental health challenge realized talking openly challenge helpful start journey management invite hear storyhttpsyoutubexjinutvca share story comment kind challenge currently facing far come suffering right begin dbt partial inpatient program january th im trying make every day leading date thank everything subreddit provided allowing pursue selflove sense peace long road im told today feel present capable | self.bipolar |
34,684 | school transfer request denied dont want go back old school cant catch study feel like burden family people around im loser always get bullied day posed would go kill decided go school next day told parent felt sick people school sent message asked like dont wan na see u one classmate created facebook page spread rumor convince student hater sent photo hanging man different kind knife choose etc decided go school next day see last time leaving home went upstairs grab bottle pill put bag kissed cat hugged parent think good plan day remember felt glad people school treated way didnt get upset knew going die told parent something school would go home around pm went restroom take opioids drug bag walked school decided sit tree school yard one quiet area school think nobody would notice sitting right remember extremely bad headache didnt know fell asleep everything like blur heard someone calling name moment realized going die felt bad couldnt end stayed hospital day parent knew everything happended day acting weird act like im little girl cant anything alone ask permission use scissors hate ive prescribed antidepressant take going bed doctor said would make feel better ive taking day dont think going help parent contacted school day teacher school said sorry ive hard time thats nobody care parent sent transfer request school district denied cant catch study im staying home nothing classmate studying fun school want study dont want go back meet bully hate teacher well dont know dont want burden parent die today everything great im tired cant go done deserve life unfair | self.SuicideWatch |
34,685 | severe anxiety passive suicidal thought hey ive really struggling passive suicidal ideation recently past year half ive trying cope severe anxiety issue anxiety problem appeared nowhere one day since ive bouncing medication medication little success im lucky antidepressantantianxiety medication might work bit perhaps anywhere two week month medication always seem stop working anxiety depression return im terrified ill never find medication work life always unrelenting hell anxiety im tired fighting realized immediate family boyfriend dog basically one cared id kill instant dont like couldnt live nonexsistence would preferable going life haze trying ward panic attack thing cant help think would goddamn easy take pill go sleep never wake occasionally selfharm im severe anxiety attack adult seems like incredibly stupid immature thing often feel compulsion punish awful human pain help focus anxiety attack vastly discouraging thing aspergers syndrome work part time im social security income medicaid health insurance seems mental health care considered nonessential service lot medicaid insurance policy mental health resource take insurance area underfunded overworked pay pocket psychiatrist currently see im seeing sort therapist psychologist havent able find one take insurance honestly lack keep looking help feel though im stuck sort limbo yeah im going attempt die want die feel like ive run hope option | self.SuicideWatch |
34,686 | sexually depraved homeless drug addict cant really see anything else future doesnt sound bad write actually sound funny wait | self.depression |
34,687 | recently asked could live life would assuming would exact life without hesitation said absolutely person asked seemed surprised answer decided probe usually dont open trust rarely given week decided humor asked would like know would best answer side note gamed together hit pretty well important strongest bond ive made life due gaming asked give rundown reason wouldnt want relive life type person reason mind constantly parent divorced focused relationship kid stepfather who part life year would drink heavily every night make sit kitchen table hour nothing listening tell worthless didnt dare speak walk away also told like kid happened every day damn near decade wasnt happening always grounded room chore wrong id get hit thrown stair one given chore pool fun watching sister step sibling use trimmed grass along fence line scissors ruler two inch high six inch done everyone tired swimming always told maybe could swim time also jet ski five year youngest couldnt wait till could go lake age sold remember said always grounded spent lot time looking window watching neighborhood kid play wishing could go rare occasion go always played neighbor next door friend year remember room learned draw played toy read comic stepfather artist would always tell drawing garbage rare occasion complimented would tell people taught everything knew toy comic usually self funded id spend every weekend dad mowing lawn sun sun since old enough push mower id go garage sale buy old comic toy collectible found collection one thing proud kid vast worked hard one weekend came home dad saw shelf used sketchbook bare found closet full toy comic collectible card empty got ta love surprise garage sale house cleaning sister step sibling room remained untouched mother never stood tried family therapy step father made joke therapist cried mom determined victim everyone got alone time therapist except youngest knew everyone could victim also knew garbage therapist told mom stepfather wanted hear keep getting business learned stuff feeling even therapist didnt care hear moved new bigger place problem moved u note collectible old comic worth lot money duplicate action figure painted differently worth quite bit well day dont know much got know could paid student loan money could gotten selling item onward time father every weekend summer place one hell garbage person fianc idea fun get trouble everything every time kid would cry fault even wasnt fault one favorite past time dragging carpet hallway making back one giant rug burn one occasion remember guest dinner decided minute arrived cry bathroom house dad barged told quit pussy felt like didnt belong mom treated badly didnt belong father reason shitty relationship started end father spent time job thing got sold mom quit mowing yard mowed mowed buy new video game beaten previous one lived bad part town every friend made ended joining gang best friend father fucking cat thing progressively got worse mom friend highschool one going almost exact thing going parent still together treated like shit escape eventually ended hanging moved father remained school seriously shitty girlfriend one multiple boyfriend one went dare depression time high self esteem time low bullied every day counselor knew begged anything would snap like twig always done stuffed feeling grade started slipping father would embarrass front aunt uncle waving report card around ask retarded genuinely meant met girl crazy eventually cheated friend remember guy forgave figured girl like based past experience saw growing one night taking dinner asked drop park drove turned around hoping get answer night felt doggy bag park bench saw walking across field slapping got home message answering machine foster parent asking beat hell told side story miraculously believed told stay away daughter response wouldnt problem worked foster brother scary fucking people got paid good money quit job built computer got heavily online gaming six month road girlfriend past showed father house still scarred honestly thought telling gay asking leave highschool thing lot better girl figured truly happy eventually moved together let friend slept ex move well got hooked drug sever tie found health problem wanted kid start trying happened fast got engaged also friend beginning also daily contact year ended apartment raided serious crime shocked found sever tie well couldnt continue friend starting family leading marriage father uncle divorced talked child support making sure well educated could potentially happen ignorant naive simply said cant go thought ending id setting fail night wedding informed still love ex pregnant child figured normal actually good past relationship wasnt till married found open relationship never made aware everyone around knew married wearing promise ring working overnights going guy picking father house would tell married never know mentioned didnt deny felt robbed occupied caring newborn daughter time went second one way got depressed found boy didnt want fuck like everyone fucked didnt want fail went depression med changed became asshole looked fight blew everything woke pool sweat every night strong suicidal urge stopped taking doctor told maybe person meant statement made torture lifetime thing never done hated pill son born nervous distant far longer fine thing felt like track went college truly happy third kid last year took job outside field polished skill free time land better job future job took secure guaranteed paycheck overtime every week family house kid could go better school system worked hard sacrificing healthcare save money didnt want kid wife fought year progressively getting worse depression distance grudge time met believed person meant felt thing never felt presence everything else blurred never cheated although close couldnt go know worst feeling world still thinking dreaming person year youve stopped talking knowing dont think finally landed job field worked hard could get dream job made depression non existent month wife told took job halfway across country talked ultimately decided wasnt worth shock moved kid stayed finish school performance job started decline relationship wife started decline everything cooking cleaning helping kid homework keep grade stopped gaming stopped drawing neglected health became overweight worst part watching friend college slowly replace someone else shit helped spent money hire babysitter help move new house go helped girlfriend move apartment house afterwards knowing person replacing last one first one leave almost divorcing ultimately deciding didnt want kid dealing thing growing made deal move kid decided move hardest part leaving quitting job felt like would easier knowing walking death get talk kid time im alone depressed ever sleep two hour night try work art body refuse bring whats mind life work six day week brief moment workout break happiness get progress slow every time look mirror see progress flaw overshadow quickly try get fun tabletop game family play doesnt seem like enjoy try game losing best friend tried start collecting comic toy become depressed much could stuff never sold child since found growth ole sackeroo havent told anyone im really planning getting checked obviously there hell lot left major point life would cement decision question would want live tldr really way shorten already basically series reason wouldnt live life hate thing happy ruin happiness alien mind mess also hate thing happened child define adult beyond control like hell yeah say hush hell born hell raised hell im hell ill stay | self.depression |
34,688 | well year since tried killing year ago december st tried kill spent week psych ward lot med lot therapy since therapy helped quite bit ive slowly learned listen take thing one day time far med go anxiety much controllable sleeping med actually work mostly cant complain much dont think im ever going overcome depression ive kind learned live sure beating probably wont happen im way cynical beat im wired there lot life probably wont get experience still dont know change least make good guess im trying say post im sure im happy knowing bug know im better year ago still feel lost dont know go every day haze trot sorry rambling good night | self.depression |
34,689 | anyone relate cant finish anything without getting distracted amount book ive semiabandoned absurd promised would go back promised book cherish haha like promised people bled actual life school work start much motivation zapped soon thing get difficult im frustrated know perfectly capable thing well long ive mentally weak give dont know depression also adult adhd hopefully gon na get checked asking anyone diagnosis small kind relevant detail feel immensely frustrated drained class still havent done homework tomorrow going call therapist see find appointment | self.depression |
34,690 | cant call sick depression day hardest im sitting car trying stuff tear second time today friendly neighborhood librarian exhausting everything hurt even fake smile throw face want scream want cry want end want go home turn light lay bed nothing else there motivation cant normal human im productive member society go car faking hiding mental illness another day | self.depression |
34,691 | ive always thought im biggest disappointment family basically confirmed tonight warning long im sorry probably going long one poor formatting see longest time ive always felt like huge disappointment entire family never helped around house never anything useful dont think ive able connect wih parent relative like sibling top feel like there ever looming shadow telling ill never able beter never able anything useful ive depressed darkest moment life feel like coming back spade little background birthday week ill turning ive graduated degree communication study essentially done nothing parent helped pay school fee ran finanical problem would probably start watsed time school using degree wasted parent money feel like garbage used work nordstrom year half made decent money hated wanted something mattered stay retail forever left job work people special need honestly past summer happiest ive ever felt like something good worthwhile letting kid fun supporting developmental need like anything good happens temporary wasnt permanent job summer im still working organization incredibly part time right work four job small part time respite work kid absolutely love school program get hang kid sort background making sure fun leading program organization worked summer kid adult special need finally working recreational inclusion facilitator let make sure child special need included community activity theyre taking part sound like lot sometimes doesnt pay much dont make much money continue incredibly poor managing fund cant help parent financially still even unexpected car bill le dollar make anxious panic today fucked decided use one dad car instead mine save gas order pick dog surgery appointment drive dont want get much detail well dad wasnt happy spending lot money mostly pay lot thing wont go lectured wasted degree money he annoyed living house barely anything im poor money cant seem help finance even though im working im free loader ill free loading entire life drive idea want top essentially confirmed suspicion ive disappointment essentially said using car today straw broke camel back think fault fact dont know thing fuck im disppointment hurt hear timerelieving dont even know im trying say anymore know im bad place feel incredibly pathetic one else really talk besides random faceless people internet im sorry long post dont even know anyone read thisi probably wouldnt though nice get wellthanks reading guess back best thats nothing absolutely nothing | self.depression |
34,693 | feel frustrated everytime wish commit suicide im scared actually despite strong temptation | self.depression |
34,695 | manic episode medication feel social better mood crazy stuff guess could say im beingnormal ive taking medication steadily could hypomanic maybe medication controlling craziness maybe im good mood manic idea | self.bipolar |
34,696 | advice older people deleted | self.bipolar |
34,697 | goodbye dont want depress anyone alcohol kicking cant help wanted say love gene gone void hope wont happen live well dont naive like cry help please dont answer thread good people like u shouldnt bothered thing like love | self.SuicideWatch |
34,698 | probably could done read rsuicidebereavement hate opened stupid sub think kill family isnt going sad awhile rather theyll carry pain rest life bullshit maybe distance something make hate wont sting long cause theyll used picture | self.SuicideWatch |
34,700 | im sixteen depressed think fair say im depressed ive got insomnia year always feel tired depressed dont many friend ive got anxiety even simple thing scaring shit lock room cry everyday im obssesed ficional world make feel better time ruining life live poland small village everyones religious feel bad dad make go church stuff cant feel like trash like nobody respect mom know stuff told visit doctor couldnt afraid live cracow roomates fine help forget shit come back weekend feel terrible cant get bed spend day cry think death everyday cant enjoy simple thing there always black scenario head feel fucked brain doesnt work anymore feel empty terrible every second life tried take med insomnia didnt work im scared go doctor sure im gon na go parent need help dont know find nobody notice everybody assume im teenager fine mood im literally screaming help nobody anything sorry mistake english first language | self.depression |
34,701 | emsam prescribed antidepressant wanted know anyone personal experience info general mg patch worn arm leg chest back thanks | self.bipolar |
34,702 | dont know happening im worried struggling life deleted | self.Anxiety |
34,703 | put anything im generally thought optimistic person lot friend big social life feel really fake put facade school seem normal come home tend collapse depressed phase find incredibly hard form deeper connection people age so past however hard try leave friend leave everyone leaf point even try form relationship even try work even try nothing seems ever improve put realize one even talk unless initiate get boring get lonely find hopeless put let try anymore | self.depression |
34,704 | feeling lost unsure go almost four month since suicide attempt remember getting hospital feeling much better hopeful positive existence almost four month since tried take life thinking maybe would easier continuing live four month come gone yet still find lost unsure go ask help mean go hospital always seems intense option last resort people even hospital still cant find happiness allow free depression im hostage bed sleeping escape way feel body completely numb existence nobody seems really understand feel continue think im okay without showing sort support go | self.depression |
34,705 | bipolar depression ive diagnosed depression well thing something upset even med like right go straight suicidal ideation thinking plan right anyone feeling like | self.SuicideWatch |
34,707 | go say need help go doc also go im phisically ill speak exactly dont want think im get med something like drugabuse also dont want tell history entire hour especially avoid mental breakdown doc know since kid never really talked thinl could really become awkward could accidently say wrong thing anyone help im germany way also dont know even kind doc go | self.depression |
34,708 | ive never depressed high school friend jealous sex going party awkward quiet kid pretty much went school went home would practice guitar alone room time friend formed band didnt last long ended forming new one wasnt interested new band due screaming vocal kept practicing religiously fast forward year band gaining large amount traction k view music video went music school thinking would one made music im graduated job prospect im even sure want music anymore im trapped since parent already paid music school money go back profitable degree im feel like completely missed prime didnt go party high school college got first girlfriend last year music school male couldnt get much experience dating live parent trying find freelance job trying music video game usually lead nothing friend always great life hasnt even worked super hard successful band making music even told happened knew guy knew guy feel trapped missed partying dating everything else everyone experience youth pursue dream dont even want anymore matter music always compare friend success job almost year havent done much going network video game audio job friend currently hang sister girlfriend feel like loser im trapped due making wrong choice life wish wouldve gone college gotten degree computer science audio programming job wish wouldve partied dated high school college cant stop thinking past much im much change situation making thing worse | self.depression |
34,709 | anybody else feel like making shift reality dont control one like whole life ive sad situation feeling sorry wishing thing different wishing thing would stop hectic crazy time felt like life destined driven ground want compare motorcycle ive spent life back motorcycle holding dear life afraid taking control choosing destination wall mind im afraid passing training wheel necessary get balance life im afraid others perceive see riding training wheel great look back bike holding dear life training wheel come many different form one open transparent social situation making intention explicitly known like training wheel im afraid let sexual energy perceived however letting go completely social situation training wheel get balance deliberate le scary speak mind im pretty bad explaining feel though training wheel personal cant applied exactly person expose mind block discovering path like handle grab onto though still scary seems doable thought laying bed idk even good sub needed write thank read far hope help least one person think situation better light | self.Anxiety |
34,710 | deal school stress due date need get schoolwork done always put stress point anxiety attack throwing sometimes triggering manic symptom hearing seeing thing room im stressing much | self.bipolar |
34,711 | asking help nearing midnight perfect time gloomy around house tough day already year consecutive string rough month melting together year depression dont want anymore though dont want midnight gloom exhaustion bare minimum around apartment want smile feel happiness want least okay would step hell im ive trying make little change walk dog little eat little le etc etc help exhausting trying keep everyday time friend told started antidepressant ago theyve really made difference guess question go asking pcp primary care physician im always nervous im good talking thing issue im good boxing ignoring box ready burst want help clue go start ask want okay even okay | self.depression |
34,712 | question regarding medication hey guy im whole load medication including diazepam citalopram name also take lorazapam stress muscle relaxant really help need top im wondering much stress choose handle taking lorazapam know addictive thats | self.depression |
34,713 | think choose read influence anxiety level ive read lot thing past month support group selfimprovement ideology advice book find general attitude read induces either relief anxiety read something encourages lay perfectionism accept feel relief able tackle problem read story people unfaithful treacherous degree worthless kind anxious story obsessive anxiety come back end overthinking misery may sort duh moment feel like keeping open different viewpoint helpful keeping open make become inundated worry catastrophization dont want fall delusional feeling invincibility grandeur also dont want fall anxiety selfdoubt much crippling potential doubting death nearly much undergraduate much effort past week finding virtuous median fooling narcissistic grandeur also loathing doubting failure selfpity riddle age suppose anyone insight good idea censor thing induce anxiety provides benefit already mainstream news since love negativity tldr sensitive anxiety inducing story well anxiety relieving reassurance dont want delusional overly anxious stop reading potentially stressful thing | self.Anxiety |
34,714 | think lamictal actually helping rocky road adjusting feel really good | self.bipolar |
34,715 | anyone recommend informative book aimed person whose loved one bipolar probably tell title bipolar im looking kind book help fiance learn illness live he already incredibly supportive havent really serious episode since weve together id like help prepared worstcase scenario he nerdy type inquisitive doesnt need simplistically written hed probably actually enjoy learning science behind bp im really looking something help cope crazy doesnt get overwhelmed stress resource exists id love know | self.bipolar |
34,716 | technique help best anxiety attack deleted | self.Anxiety |
34,717 | want start already screwed life ohio family going move arkansas could hopefully change better person nothing came im stuck ohio ill live mistake failure | self.depression |
34,718 | time passing feel feel like sometimes look back thing happened whether earlier day farther back usual exciting feel distant mei dont fully know word use describe mean ampnbsp guess super weird question reflecting memory feel like feeling moment physical sensation whatever come back | self.depression |
34,719 | would like stop wanting relationship advice one biggest source stress always lack romantic partner ive close call thought people showing sign interest always wrong nothing ever actually took lost valued friendship trying turn romance stress partner always interfered every aspect daily life making everything else seem le important comparison recently fell love first time girl fell love tried kill complicated reason didnt talk almost year year think finally started feeling alright partner wasnt happy per se realized starting enjoy old hobby work learning new thing instead constantly stressing didnt focusing thing like said thing didnt make happy wasnt fulfilling life least wasnt constantly miserable got thing done ive started talking girl visited week first time nearly year half everything went really well lot stuff got resolved overall amazing visit ever since mental state going downhill im falling back thinking every aspect life worthless unless someone share nobody want share even bother anything want feeling gone old therapist always harped letting go feeling arent useful desire family never done anything hurt anything | self.depression |
34,720 | dad owns auto body shop convinced brother going get cancer title say dad owns body shop brother voiced concern past working dad always laughed due fact brother didnt work long relatively speaking here post made auto body subreddit detailing would dad hello everyone dad owns body shop grew working painter helper slowly started painting part friend car especially first learning paint booth would always wear mask would protection normally sprayed booth sometimes would little job garage would mask either would rarely use latex glove mixing paint spraying unbeknownst time offer little protection would routinely get paint paint thinner clear coat hand would regularly get home paint nosein ear also sanded car primarily wetsanded car never wore glove mask wetsanding would sometimes used da project dont think ever sanded body filler worked maybe summer would sporadically visit childhood im early stop thinking longterm repercussion mainly cancer ive asked multiple doctor experience long term concern pretty dismissive feel like see young guy assume worked long enough damage side note grandmother died mesothelioma jury whether got asbestos exposure dad shop anyone opinion whether ton irreversible harm line thinking always dad small business owner like brother painting car day day sanding electric sander brother worked possibly summer end june end august totaling maybe year worth work bullshitting around decent amount time running errand dad also painting summer believe doctor auto body worker he asked doesnt really face much risk brother worked enjoyed working painting car used visit kid concern health would somewhat rarely go dad shop summer school pretty much follow around day went office dealing customer back garage talk employee back theyd commonly using electric sander stuff car im convinced im going get cancer dust flying around im even paranoid fact would commonly hug dad got home work hangout shortly would get home work logic lot first responder got cancer aftermath twin tower wouldnt likely get visiting dad shop really hope im wrong thinking people work entire life automotive industry construction industry potentially dangerous industry entire life negative health effect pretty much didnt visit think brother stopped painting january make even worse im hardly contact dad cheated mom made family life miserable past year mom house foreclosure refuse pay courtorder alimony great brother get die year settled career life complete piece shit fuck get thought head point like even give fuck job anything since im gunna die anyway think lot anxiety stem fact started first job college massive change fact ive found thing freak course turned nonissue definitely possible im overreacting looking something worry im aware probably seems like incoherent ramble apologize im slightly drunk lol id really really appreciate advice anyone take time read tldr dad owns auto body shop brother used visit brother worked convinced going die year supposed settled career life | self.Anxiety |
34,721 | think ride bike navigating life like trying ride bike med like training wheel imagine told keep training wheel bike whole lifethat absolutely crash without training wheel make hard tip expense greater speed agility freedom would think ride bike | self.bipolar |
34,722 | real problem yet feel like shit deleted | self.depression |
34,723 | going commit suicide next year wanted know something want deleted | self.SuicideWatch |
34,725 | like im always finding reason feel like shit | self.depression |
34,726 | dont know life thing ive ever valued life math keep comparing someone ludicrously better happier successful funadamentally idea life math become painful thing ever good life find merely frustrating find unable get anything done im math program school math program suffocating cant breathe math student dont like talk math theyre learning theyre great people though im going spend four year wasting time learning nearly nothing coursework get piece paper vastly umdervalues ive multiple suicide attempt life minor one every month major attempt every year experience psychiatry awful first psychiatrist dr wassim george farid soliman bureaucratic inconsiderate stepped saw life got worse kicked prescribed harmful medication collect commission blackmailed taking dont want talk psychiatrist feel broken need help like math | self.depression |
34,727 | god damn im fucking done suck everything give fucking quit cant handle world im god damn weak dont want go school cant fucking havent even registered class start hour need go beg let shit im freaking god damn im running time keep digging deeper lie want cry day cant even cry anymore lay bed day imagining better world better never come im scared ill always disconnected dont want let family need keep going school fuck im gon na fail either way im gon na get kicked dont know even worse keep getting told need go get job family aready view stupid let job prof everyone think im lazy come see real shit others deal problem head sick lazy fuck even matter cant put feeling word everytime think thing looking get shit want erase history everyone else would much better god damn im drain good people die im still around take instead im debating driving school hour try get class know ill fail driving fucking bridge im sorry taking attention away everyone else worse pathetic confused as needed someting get feeling im gon na blow scream | self.depression |
34,728 | stable burnt sluggish mentally physically month many med want feel better manic bp yo pretty much since came last mania late ive settled blank foggy mild depression enough energy force absolutely necessary appointment college class etc otherwise pretty much watch sitcom netflix eat sleep ambition motivation dead countless therapy psychiatry appointment since much progress except med added im glad im functioning mania bad ive gone hospital past feel powerless get happier think may med take lithium morning evening lamictal synthroid hypothyroidism latuda amantadine melatonin prolixin klonopin everyone support say need force create life want etc feel like im running empty full apathy le energy everyone else around hopefully finishing school year get job hard still dont know want career pivotal point life feel like im sleeping also lot anger bipolar done like med weight gain low selfconfidence without many friend want keep fighting feel like brain walled success first post since found community reddit id appreciate anyones perspective | self.bipolar |
34,729 | month sober im day alcohol free good especially lithium well keppra epilepsy guy ever abused even drank alcohol medication go | self.bipolar |
34,730 | please someone help long ive without person talk im dying loneliness friend family abuse point want leave bruise online suicide help line isnt working cant talk anyone without breaking cry terrible anxiety cant chat online prevention hotlinw always busy closed school counsler isnt helping cany say anything dad would get taken away jail abuse dont want anything dying heart attack already dont want hurt mom going way lot dont want anything happen even hate ignores two sister dont give shit like gang call hit older brother threatens kill ended choking family like dont talk ruin life probably im bitch rough im girly try kill nothing im failing school parent wont take help see therapist cant take anymore almost whole life probably wont kill im scared die | self.SuicideWatch |
34,731 | say fuckin kill he right im alone hotlines havent helped crisis text line didnt help much direct quote go fuckin kill cunt man loved anything world hear repeat head want stop im scared he right really good anything im useless fuck everything touch im scared he right im tired cant keep | self.SuicideWatch |
34,732 | im going thing life im po guess deleted | self.depression |
34,733 | psychosis thought day watching movie movie said hell isnt place beautiful confusion brain immediately said thats way telling im hell position psychotic thought something people would actually consider | self.bipolar |
34,734 | someone take time day read feeling alone unwanted deleted | self.SuicideWatch |
34,735 | feel alone empty tired feeling way want fucking stop | self.Anxiety |
34,736 | life suck die alcohol help mellows give something look forward day reason work afford alcohol reason look forward tomorrow alcohol cant drink dead feel pain go get drunk repeat stay sober work never know thing might change always tomorrow alcohol look forward work | self.SuicideWatch |
34,737 | describe bipolar literally talk brain fact continue living incessant thought ending life best option toss smile im work dont want deal question yes know thing swing back bleak moment everything room dark except reflection screaming worthless yes medicated danger something needed say didnt know say | self.bipolar |
34,738 | hear ive alone long im afraid get close anyone | self.depression |
34,739 | afraid prostate cancer hello woke today discomfort penis peed immediately felt like needed go persisted throughout day went doctor urine culture came back negative uti doctor said symptom could precursor actual uti gave med help im freaking prostate cancer symptom uti prostate cancer similar wasnt uti could cancer | self.Anxiety |
34,740 | jealousyenvy one main symptom anyone else see someone good time family get jealous see happy couple get jealous basically see one moving life nothing get extremely fucking envious | self.depression |
34,741 | heart hurt sorry advance rambling lot chest get im high school senior almost friend im emotionally manipulative relationship girl threatening kill break dont know make happy anymore relationship unfulfilling infatuation adoration thing ive feeling recently either unhappiness anguish want tear heart sore want good friend best friend love dearly online one busy try think way pas weekend none make happy everything small distraction ultimate unhappiness feel lethargic recently made friend someone reddit think theyre ghosting shame really thought cool person quite bit common honestly enjoyed talkingplaying game know life get better really fucking suck right sleep schedule ruined one turn dont need advice friend im lonely school people talk homework answer small circle friend extremely toxic im beginning pull away im alone feel like cutting know make arm wrist uglier feel like cry cant want friend share music thats reddit friend started ignoring cant listen music hobby make think ive feeling like since freshman year high school although truly given hope got fight parent month ago slashed forearm anger sadness went er social worker said im probably extremely clinically depressed im socially awkward point im even uncomfortable talking parent dont know tell anything dad retired dont want ask therapist cost money want friend feel like im sociopath cant make friend cant relate anyone ive tried hard cant make real life im shy try make reddit website end cutting matter week im hoping university let meet better people similar personality feel like disappointed always join club extracurriculars hope make friend never work want die feel like life wont get better ill always alone longing friend appreciate concern read edit idea would get much support even though said didnt want advice guess wrong comment much appreciated really help keep trucking | self.depression |
34,742 | told friend something personal told others deleted | self.depression |
34,743 | anyone help get better understanding social anxiety boyfriend social anxiety explained little bit also first post reddit usually dont post thing community stuff like personally kinda get scaredshy talk people example whenever boyfriend go grocery shopping need buy meat dont ever go butcher case get meat usually get already packaged one side butcher case mentioned talking reason still feel uneasy another example would making phone call absolutely h e making type phone call legit start shaking even hear voice especially job follow ups phone interview feel like anybody get nervous talking phone dunno whats weird though dont get anxious ordering food restaurant fast food something like except ordering pizza phone cant either lol also used get anxious going event place technically go alone always wanted someone go kinda hard make friend unless said person would talk first im usually one introduce right bat introvert social anxiety overthinking thank taking time read thank advance help | self.Anxiety |
34,744 | help support long distance friend depression deleted | self.depression |
34,746 | consider killing two day ago came depression close friend still havent told close friend know time right told hard handle needy personality didnt appear nowhere past month nothing depressed coming socially adept socially incapable really hard deal take every conversation serious cant tell one joking serious cant tell someone ignoring busy abstain taking medication pretend know im strong enough defend day becoming worse worse used hang close friend online couldnt meet everyone day play video game pc us service called discord attention may needy personality came depression started avoid ignore made another voice chat server invite dont doubt practically hard play game day without communication like jumping fight blind im suicidal thought perhaps stop nope like im stuck dimension think existence impact world without hard stand thought taking destroying far happiness felt past day today went workout first time month yesterday finally able play group friend today happened like im jumping back hole desperately try climb finally see light hole close fall stop pretending okay even closest friend tell im annoying im needy tell need support even light hold onto think im burden stop falling back pit try ever hard get back guess answer always scared take step considered step find easier easier want take life maybe worth trivial thing dont know find still reason within wall text im sort situation amusing yet time sad death physically thought action killing death mentally want give life wrong feel much conflict | self.SuicideWatch |
34,747 | anyone else first diagnosed depression find bipolar experience ssri maniahypomania like debating wether tell therapist im questioning diagnosis put straight jacket | self.bipolar |
34,748 | built life around wife leaving deleted | self.SuicideWatch |
34,749 | stability may sound utterly ridiculous anyone ever get bored stability | self.bipolar |
34,750 | boyfriend lay bed breakdown dont know anyone would love dont even like emotional breakdown something earlier boyfriend tried calming tried holdinghugging told get away said doesnt love he find someone else grabbed told im beautiful love im heart continued trying push kept holding tighter led bedroom laid bed held fell asleep got asked okay told yes asked sure got annoyed screamed yes | self.depression |
34,751 | deal friend abandoning deleted | self.depression |
34,752 | im falling low depression running rampant ever since started university havent wellmentally adhd well feel like understand le peer im learning slower im struggling stay together general want course much worked hard get feel like never work hard enough life despite much people tell ive worked hard painful confessionlast night self harmed havent done since teenager painful last time still scar remind mistake theyre faded ill fresh one remind stupid im getting close wanting go leaving behind wonderful family friend feel selfish way know action hurt everyone love nothing helping anymore hide behind fake smile day everyone seems believe real im going see doctor problem doubt theyll anything give pat back say chin need someone listen im okay im breaking dangerously fast | self.SuicideWatch |
34,753 | ever fantasize someone beating shit deleted | self.depression |
34,754 | feel like im going life hard mode everyday task hard worst part getting bed | self.depression |
34,755 | father icu im trying keep mind firefighter emt truck driver construction worker many many thing grew adopted parent father died he quadriplegic almost whole life since he always always positive one day heard complain big independent survivalist type guy kept much could always sharp smart last night called asking thing eventually got comfortable possible went back bed woke aid come help already waiting another nurse look decide weather need call well soon took look knew snot coming nose couldnt even notice completely incoherent calling long passed mother immediately got hospital able say love said responded one oldest friend showed since last night hasnt said anything he lucid apparently sepsis blood infection cant stand thought ive since last night needed leave grab thing like mentioned want anything grueling seeing like hate know hell wouldnt | self.depression |
34,756 | much time hour day actually anxious im curious sometimes feel anxiety bad think med really ramp day work may jump couple hour morning couple hour afternoon thats definitely go im generally relaxed home sleep usually pretty good ive day im super tense anxious day work usually im trying get feel much others suffer | self.Anxiety |
34,757 | anyone else ever trouble eating dinner time time go time eat dinner get eat breakfast go work eat lunch get work get part way home get home feel bad get anxious feeling tight chest trouble breathing sick stomach dry mouth feel hungry know need eat get one two bite meal feel like need throw matter ever dinner time weirdest part dont know im tired work body want go sleep instead eat go week ill fine come back sometimes week later sometimes month hell sometimes could almost year happens | self.Anxiety |