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34,521
whole family speaks different language feel left dad started dating spanish woman doesnt know english everyone speaks spanish normal feel left dad took time learn spanish pretty much talk two little brother spanish
self.depression
34,522
stopped med expect know different everyone stopped med week ago seroquel amp remeron often depressed versus hypomanic im sure expect right panic symptom come back full force im sure losing sleep depression hypomania new
self.bipolar
34,524
day like really emphasize miserable everyones celebrating people know brandishing far theyve come theyre gon na take control upcoming year bring blessing get life im ive slept day ive stuck bed day im probably gon na sleep try forget im living useless life ive year havent moved im fucking miserable nothing changed nothing probably
self.depression
34,525
people think youre slow unintelligent often people think slow even online wonder happens anyone else anxiety make u appear slow unintelligent edit certainly know anxiety making think people think slow unintelligent gotten comment way people treat way talk treat like treat child kid treated horribly peer could tell different also called slow asked retarded excuse word thought doesnt bother anymore idea anxiety give people impression legitimate disability people thought even happy calm bam would get asked question would start obsessing would wonder wrong made think get comment online slow side
self.Anxiety
34,526
weird relationship friend around time recently ive trying really mean deliberately friend making really big argument nothing want temporarily dislike die whatever reason hopefully wont feel bad die dont really want sad die seems like pretty good plan
self.depression
34,528
seriouspowers make le boring extremely bad anxiety power go get worse worse think due getting bored lead thinking advice tip keep mind busy would life saver
self.Anxiety
34,531
broke fiancee depression im gon na end deleted
self.SuicideWatch
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matter much progress make backslide forgot pick prescription sent refill pharmacy wasnt close running pharmacy said resent havent able get psychiatrist office past several day switchboard big confusing im medicine ready give make matter worse overworked monday worked late cancel appointment counselor dont even want reschedule disappointed last appointment supposed talk emdr didnt bring scared doesnt even seem worth im medication whats point want cry really well compliant treatment first time life im scared get psychiatrist office theyre going lecture much shit going know cant handle without treatment know cant talk way longterm forced stay hospital month ago dont know sort wonder would better let go shit someone notice serious appear highfunctioning need someone take care feel like cant take care thanks reading
self.bipolar
34,533
normal consoled probably going one mess post im super well right remember one time life ive consoled anyone little kid scared death surgery undergo mom would tell would go stead could ive never anyone mom dad brother friend notice aknowledge bad ive felt talk even hug hold single time meltdown anxiety attack ive wanted kill part one talk either ive read online source sound like consoled pretty common like people notice youre good act something totally happens real life even experienced people give advice mentor something havent experienced much guidance guess literally time anyone taken time properly teach anything acquaintance teaching play dota could play played company got sick game one play anything dont want play dota im sick making constant effort regarding getting help mental health one ever offered help ask year convinced imagining thing trying special snowflake something theyre even paying much hate envious everyone hear sound like thing fall friend lap without trying much able enjoy isnt depressed socially anxious mess like able see thing want achieve life excited everything shes planning dream job talk way getting prettier roommate instantly clicked roommate ive ever avoided never talked although suppose eventually mirrored right back friend mentioned person even talk frequently seems uncomfortable talk depression offer support blame much always offer every support shes asked humored weighty conversation topic realized every day trying convince dont enough reason kill yet might something look forward start therapy cant enjoy almost anything used love one nothing spend day vortex depressive anxious thought make inner dialogue dream pursue im probably unemployable barely even item want ive never job one internship arranged despite best effort summerjob hunting last three year think reason havent attempted suicide yet know fact would either cripple point ill unable attempt im unable get help case suppose would still die would dehydration hunger instead else id succeed without anyone even knowing contemplating theyd find maybe month two even thats much contact people well also never want brother care mental health cant sole reason continued existence like time wish robot could turn one would sad always possible turn back least theory im tired feel broken wish couldve boringly average mostly happy kid instead thing killing future see unless get lucky die something else dont think ive told anyone ive told psychologist occasional suicidal thought thanks read im sorry whiny one talk ive found last year needed get thing even internet stranger also im kill today felt suiciderelated depression subreddit
self.SuicideWatch
34,534
asked question class today im sophomore college whole life plagued anxiety talking professor plan every word say asking question ask today class raised hand asked question former planning hadnt even realized id done professor halfway done answering question face got hot yay small win
self.Anxiety
34,535
welcome wednesday mid week check posted goal sunday find herehttpswwwredditcomrbipolarredditcommentsuygsgoalsettingsunday somewhere amongst comment
self.bipolar
34,536
dream many year understand year kept dream chased someone something would never get though would fast would keep chasing would fight back would always win would end exhausted wake guess dream symbolic representation feel life always stressed always anxious always like chased nothing bad really happens honestly dont know much worse get willl damn body eventually cortisol maybe thats reason feel like want die time want sleep relax thought fear worry chasing anymore dont even know depression anxiety maybe desperation lack joy hopelessness also fact life outright terrifies contribute
self.Anxiety
34,537
loneliness death friend immediate family jehovah witness shun tell want jw anymorei nothing life love girlfriend heart sometimes dont know feel samemaybe hard time communicating emotionsmaybe im needy lack human interaction friend family cant take anymore go work go home eat sleep rinse wash repeat even back high school could never make friendsmaybe uninteresting waste space birth remember last time ive someone could completely open honest mental health struggle lack happiness feel like im dragging lifeless body every year thing waiting death feel like person shouldve never existed mistake honestly dont think anything ever change isolation loneliness ive felt since becoming teenager becoming soul crushing life draining saddest thing im still afraid even attempt try kill myselflast month convinced try overdose pain medication bought pill everything end couldnt go
self.SuicideWatch
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explain depression mental illness rather certain feeling caused event feel like sort missing certain body part need use day everyday cant use even demanded always feel lack able thing normal people especially arm paralyzed way look like use extent certain limit isnt fully functional give appearance functionality
self.depression
34,540
anyone else struggling concentrating med helped want ask doctor want know others experienced
self.depression
34,541
offence every fucking day another thing depressed like end
self.depression
34,542
dealing endless thought recently last couple month havent able get much sleep mind start racing soon lie could ill tired feel like could fall asleep standing soon get bed commit actually sleeping mind go wild mostly stuff im frustrated something feel unjust something silly never anything important get point ill become wide awake give trying sleep altogether wondering anyone else dealt looped almost obsessive thought like hell stop im tired time feel like zombie
self.bipolar
34,544
released psych ward week lot med im undesirable side effect story comment wasnt sure post ill try title say released psych ward day suicide attempt put several anti depressant hypertension med im male causing issue start unable finish doctor told give week see body get used med anyone experienced problem eventually go away
self.depression
34,545
feel like born wrong world deleted
self.depression
34,546
considering depression medication scared crossposted rgettingoverit realized people sub thought might get info long post skip last paragraph dont want read ive dealing depression anxiety year come go especially bad last year lot come many shitty thing happening since kid thing looking since went back school january found much better place live finally heat bug landlord neighbor arent creepy got new job work around school schedule pay isnt good people really nice im still trouble dont know sleep hour day either binge barely eat anything isnt inbetween dont class work appointment cant cancel spend day bed home wreck ill clean really well minute like cant move anymore rarely cook showering overwhelming day taken two hour put together post even overwhelming im hesistant take medication teenager tried taking antidepressant medicine made numb sleepy stare wall five hour straight numb emotional response anything including good numb instead adjusting dose trying something different doctor wrote medical record much better like mother told word concern meant nothing tried adjust year giving im afraid happen ive changed doctor since offered prescribe something havent agreed yet recently tried counseling instead tried asking teenager well doctor referred preacher doctor failed mention part sat hour bible verse thrown face town live actual therapist one place worked got learn firsthand exactly much place laugh face patient privacy option driving mile reach nearest therapist gone two therapist several session didnt help much ive read many side effect antidepressant permanent really dont want taking medicine im sure else ive done thing change life better recently picked violin hobby ive always loved music even much like difficult get bed practice anyone tell experience medication depressionanxiety side effect ever go away know side effect part medicine sign something need adjusted work would say seeing therapist necessary long take see improvement isnt improvement point say isnt working thank anyone took time read
self.depression
34,548
life death knowing answer question thing holding back
self.SuicideWatch
34,549
walk around tear day suck miserable ive anxiety depression mostly doesnt help im getting divorce cry smallest emotional thing anyone else issue
self.Anxiety
34,550
ever change see laying decade without changing little bit
self.depression
34,551
anxiety loved one dying often cry fit thinking parent boyfriend dying thought difficult block im one right wake every day thinking someone could gotten car crash parent year real life left may boyfriend wont take care doesnt kill even im excited death terrified everyone el wish could take life im forced experience pain death sorry rant thought time time im going play video game get mind going bed
self.depression
34,552
slipping depressive episode feel yesterday thinking comparison bipolar depression like swimming ocean minding business life good ocean warm life make sense sudden ocean change wave bigger dive pounding surf motion seasoned swimmer still ahold nerve getting tired continues next thing know current holding try make way shore logically swimming parallel beach fighting current youve learned year ocean brings back try wave help noone understand keep swimming exhausted gasping air water sand getting eye wave take pound sea floor scraping side starting panic sure going make sea float make get big breath air make swim parallel ocean lull forgotten begin ocean end survival mode pounding set pause make shore exhausted tripping get collapsing towel exhausted weary made sun warms skin slowly panic start fade sunshine warms soul remember feel light belly get warmer warmer blanket ray comfort found beautiful day blue sky alive grateful feel like
self.bipolar
34,554
ever feel stuck life sometimes feel strange mind try distract book movie right end find back empty reality wish could get away thought sometimes guess living doesnt work way
self.depression
34,555
sometimes dont realize bad anxiety doc say theray pet oops title correction therapy pet beyond thrilled excited idea talked roommate totally cool get paperwork doc show apartment manager waive pet deposit monthly fee problem deciding lovely pet get p know sure itll puppy
self.Anxiety
34,556
could someone ever love eliminate variable expectation social standing career prospect others perceive feel good add variable back equation feel inadequate unattractive worthless could another human ever love answer easy couldnt
self.depression
34,558
started prozac today also quit smoking unhealthy drug habit already guilty medication hope dont high comfortable escape want sober rest life never power
self.Anxiety
34,559
work politics shitty men make want drink death deleted
self.SuicideWatch
34,561
much wrong feel like talent motivation invest time learning skill im incredibly drained matter little cant enjoy anything anymore selfworth nobody value dont like mother couldnt care le anyone would feel died dont friend see regularly job dull dragging sometimes wish girl feel least people would pretend care feel really jealous towards girl think pretty people would know exist whole paragraph mess im sorry wasting time snippet feel wrong
self.SuicideWatch
34,562
anybody else who shame family hurt lot hear something like family member heat fight mom told shame family knew side family dont really care hearing loud made feel absolutely crushed later meet know really feel know talk behind back failure im sure wrong something family expected cousin graduating university good job im lying bed depressed person care much others think dont want feel guilty something didnt choose
self.depression
34,563
wouldnt matter exist respect love im ghost shadow say something meaningful mean nothing someone else say exact thing mean lot family friend little interest say never felt sad lonely even tell fact voice isnt heard even exist matter live die tried talk seem disagree say care think theyre lying make feel better hard live want family say feel say im wrong stomp everything care dont know goodfornothing man important people life doesnt care
self.SuicideWatch
34,565
remove negative people life always see little tidbit article overcome depression bitch im negative person life theyre problem wouldnt want friend withdate cold stone like either remove life
self.depression
34,566
anxiety come wave every year year feel pretty good people usually describe upbeat happy person would consider outgoing extrovert people know every year get crippling anxiety cropped point medicated decided go med none year really common theme age gone far greater hardship determine root problem anyone else cyclical anxiety
self.Anxiety
34,567
intentionally starving hurt friend feeling sunday night leaving party without word intentionally starved yesterday intended cut deep could last night roommate moved doesnt know starve cut made eat noticed scar wrist talked late went bed without cutting im even mad ate starving really worry dont feel depressed right also dont care live die feel detached
self.SuicideWatch
34,568
anyone else klonopin see like mention klonopin sub actually find addition latuda help maintain mood really well keep anxiety bay keep feeling hypomanic latuda make feel really hypo taking milligram klonopin night keep really good rest next day might pop half feel like need middle day really help havent felt symptom mania since started taking day anyone else help
self.bipolar
34,569
whats bullshitter like work mine asks something matter answer go superior say answer told act like knew along making sure also self confessed best worker apparently he better people year experiencehes ask shit load basic question think praise asking question obviously good thing reason dont ask question already know im say word day work get looked
self.Anxiety
34,570
maniahypomania ive never sure difference mania v cause effect reaction thanks taking time hour ago called mom lunch wish happy birthday tough surgery last week ball air however conversation typical hear backstory beyond shes lyme year avidly try destroy ask go straight shes feeling good doctor dont call back doctor wont see wont see doctor medicine causing problem symptom shes taking medicine z also problem x want mri metal stim pack back cant eat another type food water house messed something well water supply shower broken dish dont get clean laundry getting ruined done electric house everything bad father want travel cant money finally sit silence second non stop pace call minute immediately felt blanket regret disappointment surrounding seeing tonight thursday previously arranged minute away though go unable find solution problem head wont stop like need even sake peace relax feeling familiar like im water spinning draining slowly bath tub adrenaline kick im fully awake alert taste mouth body shake slightly ear get warm red im pulled feeling cant get furniture solution cant put mind mom negligence acceptable take curtain anxiety paranoia roll solution ball thats story right sorry book hour since got phone know well get always im really trying tell feeling mindset mania regular reaction mom bad shape birthday wonder thing get happy excited dont know difference thank reading providing insight oh diagnosed bpd type everything ive seen make big type
self.bipolar
34,571
depressed ive lost sex drive older guy came realization sex drive dead im deeply depressed wife unhappy taking personally feel guilty im deserves better addition job work bone im home late hour every day doesnt pay well enough give enough time go see somebody address disorder feel trapped dont know fix anyone know situation get better else ill lose everything
self.depression
34,573
new art subreddit hi everyone morning created sub reddit rmanicart artist writer poet photographerssong writer post want love seeing everyones creativity think one stop subreddit would sick
self.Anxiety
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share sadness people around deleted
self.depression
34,575
today worst today worst car broke mom wont watch dog anymore im homeless hate ive got cold im going alone forever tomorrow worst change life growing debt continue ignore
self.depression
34,576
get space anxiety trigger live throwaway account note going tell go rraisedbynarcissists finding support caused yearlong rift family cant afford since live currently edit nearly master degree field job since last company went ive lived family life anxiety let little lived away typical stuff dad make money mom rule house break living job fell four year im back living family advice current problem room also guest room whenever family visit displaced room sanctuary get ultra nervous taken away live open living room also get anxious family visiting dont anything common dont believe anxiety andor believe really crazy stuff often look family pet people house choose go im really anxious anything happening pet care animal also would never choose pet way back mom decided get pet opposed told love wont ever make take care theyre course look often elderly constantly worrying dying im alone able help ease pain plan involving extended family including family road trip especially holiday vacation planned without knowing mom tell people without asking first blame wanting gonot excited tell youre rude dont care family past whenever bring anythign thats bothering mom either immediately dismisses didnt thatsay get defensive saying im trying hurt would tell anecdote well bla bla bla live give unwanted extraneous advice rather discussing concern past ive pushed harder point actively standing ground saying mom gotten extremely emotional angry cry say feel attacked doesnt listen fact situation since moving back ive ill extended period time dont remember last time slept well ate well day row cant remember last time woke didnt want sink oblivion rather face day wondering might happen tldr basically everything family house decided mom im along ride lot weird belief dont share fact opinion arent true get space away constant anxiety feel sicknervous get job move also cant control space eating better starting exercise daily start therapy mom isnt thrilled two week advice working around situation would seriously appreciated
self.Anxiety
34,578
im diagnosed symptom cant fucking handle anymore know long please someone read need advice get currently medicated ive put antidepressant isnt case im prescribed lexapro ml valium ml phenergan ml melatonin ml sure matter im also yasmin birth control medication everytime start antidepressant sends mania depression dont need antidepressant problem mood extreme rapid cycling right im extremely depressed cant get bed every single task extremely difficult feel like everything hard cant deal anything everything pushing edge anger ruining every aspect life keep verbally abusing friend im starting get bad boyfriend even though understands try get hurt cant handle guilt anymore smallest thing send pit rage im blinded anger im going thinking he horrible thing come back sens feel horrible saying doesnt care thought distorted always fucking changing opinion boyfriend happened hasnt who good who bad cant handle rapid cycling anymore im preparing hypomania come wont get sleep already due insomnia hypomania amazing first bit im creative selfesteem boost higher ever sexual desire increase feel sexy feel like anything one stop pure bliss ecstasy eventually lack sleep kick im mentally physically exhausted much stopping push chest keep going vision im going fix horrible world go introverted happy non stop talking brain going million mile hour psychosis fucked extreme paranoia delusion think microchip brain back neck control sexuality personality let people read mind read ill hear people talking radio see thought top head im certain everyone get many different voice satan believe manifest inside dark voice tell im going die spend rest day hospital therapy hospitalized time many psychologist counselor psychiatrist therpiststhen there tell kill torture thomas tell who get stay away rose tell thing paranoia prevents anything ive job offer ive decline thought set depression come back fucking sink ill cry tiniest thing want left alone get angry suicidal bad past self harm suicide attempt im easily frustrated overwhelmed something doesnt go plan completely lose shit stress cant go near food find gross get extremely anxious stressed get dirty practically burn shower scrub ob thing horrible cant stand anxiety cant stand anymore much feel like im never going able life cant cope even whats point even living cant life much im width end mother thing borderline personality disorder whereas boyfriend suspect schizophrenia bipolar youve read long thank advice would appreciated im sorry literally paragraph mind rushing it rushing sorry spelling error please help
self.bipolar
34,579
reason live people dont care anymore literally spend every day bed cant fucking stand seeing people know graduated high school still stand head laughed reason powerful people told would better dead told nobody life cared except attempted commit suicide three different time last two year alone would ask pm know people last two day usually ive banned online counseling site offended listener telling truth reason alive everyone want dead nobody give one shit another im alive people tell dead laugh expect get common theme im suicidal right
self.SuicideWatch
34,580
hh podcast jordan peterson talk anxiety talk theory cause anxiety dont goal want achieve always anxious feeling like never get anything accomplished etc talk much helped httpsyoutubevxltqhdlhghttpsyoutubevxltqhdlhg
self.Anxiety
34,582
dae start worry youre ill anything get legitimate symptom actually im hypochondriacgermaphobeemetophobe anxiety surround getting sick mainly minor viral illness like cold flu stomach bug sometimes ill day im convinced im going get cold ill actually get symptom like right im scared im going get cold ive much many different people weekend feel really crappy tired body ache bit throat feel odd bit nasal drip even feel like fever dont thermometer worst im busy lot obligation dont want miss dont handle sick even cold well normally cant continue normal daily routine miss class work socializing etc start think last time sick get convinced felt way meaning id actually sick think mind playing trick think oh gosh may sick dont feel well etc worse feel get sinking feeling body never tell im actually sick time im last real sickness cold year ago beginning last october even though ive thought getting sick dozen time really day ruiner genuinely feel ill even though may anyone else anyone found something work stop
self.Anxiety
34,583
ever feel suicidal hear success story see someone close achieve something happens meet similar goal want rgetmotivated thread also trigger emotion also could completely normal someone would bring hypothetical positive outcome conversation hey man never know blank happen feel anxious want end im trying recover serious trigger try stay away feel good content realistic call method combat besides therapy med cant afford exercise already
self.SuicideWatch
34,584
advice anxious international traveler ive diagnosed gad panic disorder seven year ago spent many seven year finding right med therapy manage pretty well still certain trigger really get anxiety going traveling one wife want plan trip japan want go really really already feel anxiety growing im well traveled never anywhere super foreign keep super irrational thought hate standing hate someplace language might issue fear getting lost foreign place keep telling nothing like happen especially since large tourist area like tokyo kyoto like im hanging rural spot local go im daily anxiety med doctor gave benzos use emergency dont want spend trip hopped drug havent therapy think im going make appointment wanted see anyone technique tool getting anxiety international travel anything help
self.Anxiety
34,587
seasonally affected know soon light change ok give way end deep depression doesnt lighten light change im noticing depression starting amotivation difficulty organizing keeping thing together head game feeling need go bed directly work around ish recently ive finding little thing people friend family say piss end like friend email post facebook awesome mom going caribou eat fruit cap dont need capped friend posted child amazon wishlist facebook hinted itd nice bought thing bos making little pointed comment supervision seem jab best work friend coruns school counseling program like insinuating doesnt job attempting elicit certain response tldr noticing little thing getting irritation going along usual suspect depressive symptom change light yall know mood shifting like little hint clue see
self.bipolar
34,588
scared start medication im thinking going back medication help get semester seasonal depression gad us take lexapro dont really like dependent medication make weak cant deal anxiety naturally silly im anxiety anxiety medication come family doesnt really believe medicine unless life death dont want dependent like feeling living naturally also want medication help im scared sideeffects withdrawal symptom im scared feeling feeling genuinely honestly im scared using medication cope world im also scared go semester depression anxiety
self.Anxiety
34,589
idk else like dont want kill girlfriend broke rather thing stopping im like well might well also im really tired dont affect friend family know really dont care anymore cant deal suffering life let deal suffering death
self.SuicideWatch
34,591
uk car insurance provider suggestion hi rbipolar bipolar fiancee type looking get insurance uk car aiming buy skoda yeti somewhere k budget ive licence year fiancee year respectively live zone london dont car claim bonus problem one year restricted driving licence dvla utter wanker cheapest quote weve found moneysupermarketcom k anyone know specialist insurance provider bipolarorguk mindorguk help thanks advance
self.bipolar
34,592
anyone else lose sleep thought time youll old body fail deleted
self.depression
34,593
joined milthought would good family nearly everyday want take benchmade knife pocket cut wrist dont really know itll fuck kid
self.SuicideWatch
34,594
coming term piece shit deleted
self.depression
34,595
inevitable im going kill today tomorrow eventually one day ill decide ive enough put gun mouth pull trigger ive gone depression thought beat come back hate even though sometimes retain sense pride whatever unimportant thing still dont love one day ill finally end endure
self.SuicideWatch
34,597
afraid never finding love building family life coming together ever wanted loving relationshipmarriage child strong nurturing side im honest loyal woman family everything year age see obtaining goal dont even friend many nice acquaintance one really spend time far career education living situation everything set mind thankfully come relatively easily however fulfilled main goal always loving doting wife mother always come first dating horrible im discovering often many men lie cheat abuse girlfriend look recent headline news ive abusive relationship scar ive tried best keep optimistic sunny hinder finding better relationship future problem im growing tired tired feeling unwanted tired chasing dream find increasingly hard obtain often think would easier kill rather going life feeling miserably lonely unloved clock ticking towards th birthday dont want continue living pain giving beginning next year least find happy dating relationship possible seriously considering ending life thanks letting vent
self.SuicideWatch
34,598
hey im new wanted ask question anyone go whole range within week ie presume brief period hypomania depressive stage anxious eventually normal swing back round im denial dont want anything wrong ive remember past two massive depressive period childhood one cant remember much last one physically ill mil like remind body definitely manic episode managed keep check presume anxiety irrational fear repercussion poor credit rating normally contain getting new pet thing huge distraction access money dread think drinking go literally want drink time never wanting touch also get suicidal drinking bit like feel manic episode think dk youve made shame youve done well remember anyway still dont know lot illness recently referred see mental health team every week kept fobbing bipolar mentioned im bipolar anyone uk pretty much stacey eastenders point reference facepalm never act suicidal thought health anxiety also anyone forget lot eg literally washed changed daughter shes literally min couldnt remember change nappy wash brush hair one see hair brushed remember forget eaten went toilet work struggle much get anxious cant face go back sick look im given question im feeling better good heart get ashamed cant manage struggle get ready go im struggle deadline adherence everything timed accidentally got new job completely different sector im looking people dementia actually look people barely manage look im treading water poorly ive four kid elder three teen theyve help much partner im terrified another massive depressive episode spend another year struggle talking doctor glad finally meet clinical psychologist who assigned also cbt doesnt seem work anymore cant take hold thought turn make dealing impossible whoop sorry dissertation
self.bipolar
34,600
deal weighted feeling ive never really talked people depression im sure anyone else feel combined feeling weight gut emptiness always sometimes stronger normal day crushing anyone know way possibly help deal ive tried exercise fresh air reading book hobby doesnt seem quiet
self.depression
34,601
personality repulsive going written terribly apologize advance say im insecure would understatement im neurotic train wreck person hate much constantly pester friend ask still like though know im really accomplishing making start loathe even quicker nobody like around someone negative constantly selfdeprecating get feeling people deal pity im annoying unintelligent painfully unfunny cant imagine tiresome must interact nothing say sound good type like im recovering lobotomy painful even read really dont know fix dont know someone likable anxiety roof time spent complaining like total brat using outlet find vent people dont want speak anymore reply sparse im one seems put effort interaction dont want like anymore dont want alive knowing despite effort fix seems personality always going repulsive every single way feel hopeless seems like there nothing friend never going like much like
self.depression
34,602
life goodnow symptom obvious hello new college horrible experience im making friend like havent since kid bump everything overall good however clearly see im episode severity well im dealing body basically horrible processing may remember post month back stayed away heavy medication take small amount use mindfulness monitor symptom worked relatively well moment fucked curse subreddit im place dont feel thats good enough since situation better want le bothered bipolar im interested adjusting treatment come summer tip finding better psychologist psychiatrist hopefully partnered worked together starting new medicine research thing lot feel comfortable id love starting point
self.bipolar
34,604
know anymore hi another account somewhere forgot login haha thats okay wanted check sort outlet since dont really get chance ever put thought new year happy way hope achieve wish spent eve alone choice im year old im home winter break currently first semester college havent really spent time anybody since back though parent two older brother parent dont necessarily best relationship bad one either kind mutual understanding boundary give want dont intrude personal life kind deal know brother theyre year older like dont like spending time justthey never really make available reach oldest brother called minute clock struck wish happy new year asked said nothing course told couldve called nice sentiment theory dont know reach someone thats never really reachable guess right im feeling lonely ive realized ive feeling way dont anyone talk people thought friend becoming le friend people needwant convenience dont anyone guess thats nothing new thought thing changed living better life college speaking tuition suck still high school everyone like nooo youll get money pay school dont worry practically give money student go apply scholarship apply apply apply like two opposite end spectrum one really walk sort process need go order pay college kinda throw mean thankfully managed get sorted bad figure eventually ill pay loan haha love going college fun feel like different person confident selfassured one dont figure money wont able go parent havent really paid single lick towards schooling want go school mom even took account use something else mean asked take say mother im considering calling quits next semester maybe go community college bit transfer work job time save itll like put work get nice school drop effort gone dont know always seems like there wall way whenever want something lot lot decision make lot people please lot people never satisfied never good enough always fall short even though put need would nice know someone like
self.depression
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introduction hey friend long time lurker first time poster elsewhere ive worked really hard therapy meditation mindfulness medicine every thing think based worked time ago got worse rather better better older growing experience came new set blow lost partner father died lost job finally lost meditative practice feel nothi fear sadness cant repel lie mind tell grind teeth nightly story failed one love worst acted atrocity occasion never bad seems enough lose many loved one even helpless explain much loss im beginning learn manage bitterness pain dream proof enough self hatred dont know move forward withoufh small saving id broken completely norther dallas texas god never thought id end scream help mind dawn dusk
self.Anxiety
34,607
limited experience far betterhelp online therapy deleted
self.depression
34,608
broke depressed girlfriend say doesnt know live worst person two day decided break girlfriend deal depressionthe last two year broke decision last month said try howeverfor almost e month felt stand anymorei feel bad love herbut depression many problem creates taken toll month thought say always seemed wrong knew would odifficult said need brave true feel result day told like big crisislike huge panic attacki called family yesterday talked phone cry saying something meanthat period tried overcome problem like gave big hit decisionshe said worst person deal loneliness closest person doesnt know live right feel badlyi even thought telling break even though dont want itbecause love heri totally scared gon na hurt feel guilty everything happened scared confused really dont know react situation
self.depression
34,609
im time low im afraid deleted
self.depression
34,610
need help first time reaching help way diagnosed doctor feel completly broken think killing everyday dont know anymore
self.depression
34,611
afraid go hospital thing rough year im scared go hospital work high stress job sale worried leave everything ruined worked meanwhile go nut
self.bipolar
34,614
deserve thought constantly running rampant mind good day today family still want end life end day life good spot thing great family girlfriend high school etc cant ever happy dont know bad would never happy think ive good person life obviously thing wrong want end right
self.SuicideWatch
34,615
calm storm year half ago long pyschotic episode followed bp diagnosis several month depression take year college ive back school almost year everything thats happened medication extreme emotion level social isolation extended time ive found interesting place anyone else find constantly maneuver conversation avoid long intense topic past specifically related bipolar ch
self.bipolar
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life seems meaningless people deal life cant see future im young thought alive even year seems like work goal dont find enjoyment anything tried many medication nothing seems help feel broken abnormal compared everyone else want thing life feel like im destined kill wasnt pain id cause family wouldve done already anyone else feel way deal
self.SuicideWatch
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lonely know im lonely friend lonely time
self.SuicideWatch
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fck help got drunk watching big brother finale boyfriend russian vodka made insane trying get bf drink le helping drink im rlly smart went insane writing insane abusive father fb veiled post couldnt take feeling like would come loved one ruined mom life spend many day trapped car stalked mother every move memory insanity hit pretty hard evening point breaking downbeing semisuicidal get feeling im hell lot get none goal accomplished learning drive fucking hard many month trapped car hour day year ago wont go away still raw remembering hearing thing mother went feel like shit cant fix memory shit come back one huge block painful
self.bipolar
34,619
there nothing fight help people dangerous level mild level want hear want say id rather pm thats thing understand let thread die
self.SuicideWatch
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severe anxiety made song ive felt past month song mean lot ive struggling anxiety year past month worst ramped extreme level really hard cope led taking bad measure drug usage im posting hope others relate dont want anyone else going alone youre alone disclaimer song raw emotion nsfw hope song reach lot alone fight anxiety together httpsoundcloudcomvendettaunconsciousproddowntime
self.Anxiety
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anyone tip help overcome fear singing home basically singer little kid year got lot attention got asked involved musical hell even got paid unfortunately super scared sexuality im gay wanted disassociate singing associated singing gay year involved heavy heavy heavy smoking daily decided follow passion take risk try singing obviously year nothing kind forgot sing insane amount junk throat due smoking wasnt helping either despite though able get wellranked music school throat finally cleared able comfortable manipulate vocal reassured many many people talented vocalist thing dont practice well hardly sing car whenever im driving mph im stop sign light lol home though practice window closed door locked im bathroom fan even heavily hold back scared sing loudly possible day told id record singing song locking bathroom hour managed get second singing decent volume im holding back much thats also kind convinced bathroom soundproof hear literally nothing im there huge party going outside go bathroom cant hear anything dunno sing hear thought saying omg neighbor hear mess last without thought popping like second even tell annoyed theyd knock door leave note good come doesnt help guess fact know im trying convince anyone tip
self.Anxiety
34,622
wish could end right second deleted
self.SuicideWatch
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hate disease im sick starting thought pretty healthy past year managed graduate college get good paying job build home get better job seniority security state pension find husband raise son hate everything thats gone wrong life fault got addicted abusing adderall fault facing criminal charge well constant pain past year resulted painsomnia triggering mixed state suicidal tendency top let go job year wasnt able work full hour required due pain everything could possibly gone wrong im finding starting like year ago time family support barely take care realtor coming tomorrow take picture show weekend im ready move want healthy want enjoy life like used want family friend destroyed im sad son would want prison treatment one problem im scared moving telling one im going leave behind rock star performance job leave behind ex husband didnt deserve deal disease would like leave horrible memory mistake behind
self.bipolar
34,627
want die im better around want validation kill deleted
self.SuicideWatch
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im still college future dad yeah im still college unprotected sex gfim becoming dad soonwere ready yet
self.depression
34,629
living life like ghost whole life ive felt like ghost kind floating picture maybe better analogy jellyfish trying control going failing miserably couple day birthday big nothing show still closer achieving dream still stuck dead end job whole life always lead believe would succeed seen none dont even want birthday id like skip year mom would never allow like oh ive never depression birthday yeah mom every dream ever wanted come true pretty much none want give want sleep peace ghost die
self.depression
34,630
even though friend feel really alone sat floor bathroom friend downstairs holding entire bottle pill trying get take couldnt bring really fucking wanted dont want start new year need end
self.SuicideWatch
34,631
dont feel like matter im trying honest think nothing negative thought time feel like hate maybe help kind people around really good job bos like good conversation even shake sometimes anxiety really good imagination creative good cook food fun make excellent social activity cant make career dream doesnt mean cant pursue hobby guy matter every one dont president matter live
self.depression
34,632
beauty felt like needed share something feel like everyone benefit regardless life well youve done youre wealthy youre feel like loser ok beauty amazing thing temporarily numb problem found anywhere music video game sky dont like life take moment find beauty something bored tonight felt like taking drive around town night time almost winter degree fahrenheit there frost window car foggy im driving empty street small town see dim streelights fog thought absolutely beautiful made take step back realize there important thing life wealth glory small thing really hold key happy life
self.SuicideWatch
34,633
bipolar ruining yet another relationship im ive year old boyfriend year half good together many way he seeking therapy getting diagnosis starting med hospitalised med starting new med becoming mostly stable take care patient bandage occasional depressive self harm love world back fight every day better person relationship thanksgiving night tiny little fight nothing bicker fight totally shut put wall totally withdrawn distant whole next day finally got open going broke cant handle hot cold hurt im extreme he pain long time im taken aback destroying disease affecting something else life refuse let excuse take full responsibility behaviour action still bipolar make hard great strong partner guess im looking support maybe advice people overcome instinct freak extreme put defence learn communicate calmly take long hard look better without losing important person life im tired feeling like im weaker disease
self.bipolar
34,634
dont know feel weird sensation ive never like im sad happy neutral anything feel urge laugh cry stay without anything try faking laugh end wanting cry hurt never get go downhill forever med dont work want completely alone im shutting friendship dont want yet want alone dont feel like deserve loved dont understand anybody would able like fuck please id love anybody least respond please
self.depression
34,635
failing school depression anxiety failing class gym dont want play teacher creep im scared everytime go gym teacher say pair want die inside one want partner english class slam poem short stpries class need express feeling dont know teacher always asked make happy shrug stay silent science math cheated two always searching answer yahoo asking google guess cant find failing parent dont let try im always chore dad drug dealer sick anger issue call constantly fat ugly useless retarded cock sucker name mom drunk everyti get home work drunk always try get attention ny sister say saying im annoying always want attention burst long story short life going hill gave idea fix besides killing im grade friend family hate issue want kill end dont dont know whats life parent dont think always saythink bright side bright side dont know one
self.SuicideWatch
34,636
forced tell someone something dont want anxiety anyone else quite literally forced tell someone something dont necessarily want tell much anxiety feel guilty end able tell help
self.Anxiety
34,637
suicide well last night tried kill obviously didnt work would rather go detail
self.depression
34,638
please tell efficient way help depression youre clearly able tell work ive dealing year half take lexapro help little know way
self.depression
34,639
update wife story start httpswwwredditcomrbipolarcommentscunhowdoimakeitthoughthiswithmywife wife leaving far cordial moment still sharing bed cant deal told today couple counseling dont know expect edit shes sure shes going leave cross finger im trying convince spend christmas anniversary together see new med stuff remind good time
self.bipolar
34,641
feel like waste day smoke weed course im skipping class mother paying rent dont job im failing class im single people still like dont know there something wrong
self.depression
34,642
coming term bipolar happy made right choice possibly getting control caution long rambling pm welcome anyone want make supportive friend also enjoy writing reading long message today day finally accepted bipolar disorder diagnosis start lithium tonight happy antidepressant making sick time see gradually losing touch reality drifting depression productive hypomania possible mania maybe already maniac id like share randomness especially turbo going head thats pouring word every second one real life share think also result bipolar monster inside head long rambling description liberating realization remember watching shameless saw ian lying day bed didnt even string chord saw clip youtube last month psychiatrist highly suspected bipolarand still scene felt foreign even though cut contact everyone spent day bed without ability call sick feeling utterly guilty didnt remember maniac hypomaniac dont feel guilty inability get bed feel grateful psychiatrist perceived time smug hostile jealous thus wanting put lifelong medication stupid paranoia fixed appointement another psychiatrist see different psychiatrist month either medical appointment system poorly designed country cant figure use properly discussion bargaining one specialist depression bipolar disorder wrote prescription antidepressant kind look saying well honey cant convince well see inevitably come back admit youre wrong take good care see soon asked something rage smiled smirk ok going prescribe something rage make sleepy sure hesitated smirk continues knowing desperately needed rage control ok going give antipsychotic along mild antidepressant happy get want also started contest going win doctor patient antidepressant started stop cry everyday thing start getting better got strange still denial day waking feeling energized forced fall asleep prove maniac easy seroquel started ring faint bell caught ordering two three people portion food overstuffing every morning must funny sight knew much could bring order right amount ability simply hmmmm maybe bipolar realized writing novel thinking great novel best novel th century psychiatrist refilled prescription asked wether excessive thought feeling like movie going said written page weekend writing different scene nonstop time hit someone mildly bicycle blamed looking maybe mention also female somehow make little le unacceptable obviously getting way monster realization fuck losing control novel great novel hey productivity grandiosity time didnt recognize think lost bag transportation card glove buy recharger cable seriously fuck go bag morning find disappearing moment arriving work sad ipad mini old there many memory ok lithium mood stabilizer accept lifelong friend stupid delusional reject love turbo spinning inside excruciating headache fixed new appointment enjoyed last day developing mania despite headache completely stopped caring work including walking personal laptop spend nice afternoon coffee shop writing novel started socializing coworkers cracking inappropriate joke inappropriate politically dangerous country lol thinking back first experience mild antidepressant two year ago enjoyed much every morning take lie bed enjoying high normally depressed people dont get high antidepressant still miss high time high headache havent sex month due depression best sex dream especially antidepressant make masturbation dull part wish growing mania continue could go meet people real sex party fun lonely wanted post using main account dont care much anymore hey ashamed talking sex want sex even though become ashamed irresponsible behavior filter came back still thread thats keeping sense sanity using throwaway wondering lithium hope solidify sanity thread get result blood test tomorrow see wether kidney take lithium end grateful professional saw nice patient really took time listen explain thing completely denial fuck fucking stupid still hope ill one day finish novel
self.bipolar
34,643
people always go better option waking headache staying night excessively eating friend basic training texted asked wanted grab grub veteran day shocked someone noticed existed weekend people usually forget agreed meet pm texted friend asked ready see contemplating response imessage never writing back could many reason text back know guy likely someone else invited enjoyed better
self.depression
34,644
want die clich wish gut overdose ibuprofen die liver kidney failure least die way sooner im tired daily life thing get day best friend cat music every day wake disappointed didnt die wake face another day sometimes id get dressed next day going bed dont cry able even get dressed dont anything sad im homeless didnt lose someone nothing want die even littlest thing hurt
self.SuicideWatch
34,645
last two month mind clinging thought giving daily panic attack im going mention simply second place advice give accept thought accept dont want medicationsupplement would guy recommend sort thing something lower anxiety alltogether like xanax something would make reaction le brain would let go like ltheanine think magnesium would help advice would appreciated edit mean literally thing think little break mind wont let go even manage go bed calm wake hook right back edit isnt normal ive mild anxiety whole life never affected long intensely
self.Anxiety
34,646
job feel like torture used love job think logically lot grateful sitting feel like im teeth pulled every second think moment quit breaking point imagine going bos telling realize ridiculous would seem im cant quit good job feel horrible people work depression
self.depression
34,647
scared alone thought anyone else experience figured way around sometimes thing arent going right head get nervous left alone thought wont realize ill avoid listening music driving falling asleep without tv background ill keep netflix running dont hear thought think harm good need work thing head anxiety time avoid bring panic attack im really good working nothing artist best work done getting lost music subconsciously distract lot want try fight anyone found solution work thought process etc im currently medicated depressionanxiety diagnosed borderline personality disorder cant afford therapy yet im seeking advice anywhere see therapist
self.Anxiety