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The last few decades have seen an increasing demand for enterprise software applications that can streamline supply chain processes and provide lean manufacturing capabilities. At the other end of the supply chain, companies have been moving towards outsourcing their product distribution in order to keep sales overhead in check without sacrificing revenue.
These recent trends have resulted in a unique dilemma. While companies can produce products more efficiently, they have little knowledge regarding what to produce, for whom and when. They now have better visibility into their supply chains but they lack the same kind of visibility into their often-fragmented demand chain (more…).
The current economic slowdown and huge inventory write-offs resulting from this lack of visibility have highlighted the need for a systematic way to predict and manage demand. New technologies provide the capability to extend supply chain visibility that can support a truly dynamic collaborative internal environment; but companies are looking beyond sources within the enterprise, such as sales and promotions groups, to include customers in the demand management cycle (1).
1. Reshaping relationships with channel partners to ensure accurate demand forecasts. Manufacturers should implement a closed-loop process for gathering, analyzing and filtering demand forecasts from channel partners. The demand management system should be tightly integrated with management systems for entitlement and other benefit programs for channel partners. This would help to ensure that just-in-time manufacturing is performed for the right products, in the right quantity, at the right time (more…).
2. Basing inventory allocations on real-time demand forecasts that incorporate information from all channels—both direct and indirect.
This increases revenues by targeting allocations to those channels and locations that are the most effective sellers (more…).
3. Ensuring that your own house is in order.
According to Andy De, director of solutions marketing for i2, demand management solutions are most effective when paired with other supply chain applications. Says De, "Having an accurate picture of demand is irrelevant if you don't have a supply chain that can meet it." In addition to cooperation from other supply chain partners, in order to achieve the benefits of a truly dynamic collaborative environment, companies need to get their internal demand management processes in order (3). For example, the promotions group in a company responsible for creating and driving demand is often disconnected from the operational group that produces the product and as a result ends up spending money promoting a product that operations cannot deliver. Ensuring that the different groups that have a stake in the demand process are connected is important.
4. Ensuring the presence of accurate intelligence along with collaboration and automation.
New technological developments have enabled real time flow of information within and across enterprises leading to better forecasts and an enhanced ability to respond rapidly to customer requirements. The downside to these automated processes is that they could be transferring bad information. Despite sophisticated statistical methods, it is impossible to eliminate market uncertainty from the forecasting process. Customers' purchasing departments have every incentive to inflate estimates. It is important to have people in place who can analyze the forecast to see how it fits in the total market so that the company builds to actual end-unit demand rather than estimates that have been distorted as they travel through intervening layers (4). Providing greater supply chain visibility to downstream supply chain partners will eliminate their need to overstate forecasts.
5. Choosing demand management applications that address the unique challenges faced by the specific business. Many existing applications fail to fulfill the specific demand management needs of companies. Some enterprise applications support fixed pricing strategies but their solutions cannot easily maintain dynamic forms or manage prices across channels. Other applications are limited in terms of other demand management challenges. Certain customer relationship management systems, such as those from Siebel Systems or KANA, assist sales personnel but lack insight into price sensitivity and supply chain capacity and are therefore of little value in terms of deciding which orders to take and which offers to recommend.
In the near future, companies are likely to embrace three continuous demand management strategies that incorporate feedback loops from downstream processes and market conditions: I) linking forecasts based on causal variables, like economic indicators, to current sales activity and field-level orders to create market sensitive demand forecasts that set corresponding capacity and inventory recommendations; II) linking capacity to changes in demand so that companies can optimize service levels, safety stocks, and inventory levels, even in conditions of sudden demand variability; III) adjusting price and contract terms to changing market conditions (5).
Lavey, P. (2001, September). Best practices in enterprise relationship managment. KMWorld.com.
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Features Opinion PC PS3 Retro Xbox 360
The 8-Bit Playlist: Show Me Your Tunes Edition
On Jan 09, 2017, by Austin Flynn
The 8-Bit Playlist is back and ready for round two in this special, no holds barred edition! Challengers from across the globe have argued about which fighting game has the best tunes to throw fists to, and Power Up Gaming is more than happy to settle the score once and for all.
Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes (2000, Arcade)
Composer(s): Tetsuya Shibata, Mitsuhiko Takano
Favorite Tracks: River Stage, Swamp Stage, Desert Stage
Album Duration: About 30 minutes
Played: Yes
With Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite recently being announced at PlayStation Experience, it seems only fitting that Marvel vs. Capcom 2 should make an appearance here. An eclectic mix of songs with jazz, salsa, rock and electronic roots, I'd be lying if I said this is a typical album that a fighting game might have, as rock and metal seemed to (and still do) dominate the genre.
Infamous for the "Gonna Take You For a Ride" lyric that repeats over and over on the character select screen, MvC2 might not be the most popular choice, but all in all it is quite a treat. Sure, it might be odd to hear trumpets, jazz drums and a soulful singer belt out bluesy tunes while Spider-Man goes toe-to-to with Ryu, but once you let the beat do its thing, it's not long before you're rocking to the rhythm and unleashing your most devastating hyper combos on your friends.
It's also this uniqueness that sets MvC2 apart from other fighters. Because so many fighting games use heavier rock or electronic elements to induce a sense of urgency, it's novel to hear something a little more smooth in the arena. Who knew jazz could be so tough?
Songs like River Stage and Swamp Stage are perfect examples that show a few quick lyrics might very well have a place in the heat of battle; a trait that, again, not many other fighting game songs possess. So whether you're ready to throw some rocket punches while playing the legendary three-on-three fighter or just going for your daily jog, MvC2 is sure to get you ready for some action.
Super Smash Bros. Melee (2001, GameCube)
Composer(s): Hirozaku Ando, Shogo Sakai, Tadashi Ikegami
Genre: Remix, Compilation
Release Date: November 21
Favorite Tracks: Fountain of Dreams, Big Blue, Fire Emblem, Break the Targets, Opening Theme
Album Duration: About 2 hours
Played: Far Too Much
Having just celebrated its 15th birthday, SSBM makes it on the list not only because of its original album release, but also the orchestral score, Smashing… Live!, that was released shortly after (I got mine in a copy of Nintendo Power). This is going to be another controversial pick as 1) Super Smash Bros. is filled almost entirely with existing or remixed works from Nintendo IP and 2) Many people will state that Super Smash Bros. Brawl has the superior soundtrack.
While it is true that many of the songs in Melee aren't original to the title, I would argue that many of them are improved with their inclusion in the series – a hard task considering how renowned Nintendo games have been in terms of musical quality. And, yeah, I'm willing to admit that Brawl has the better soundtrack (one of the few things that Brawl did better), but just because I'm mentioning Melee now doesn't mean its sequel won't make an appearance somewhere down the line *wink* *wink*.
As far as Melee goes, though, each track takes a beloved Nintendo tune and gives it an edge – a little extra kick that puts you in the driver's seat of the slugfest that is Super Smash Bros. Not only is it an impressive accomplishment to successfully remaster so many classics, but it's downright miraculous that they were able to take happy- | 0.205882 | -0.242723 | -0.674899 | -1.127309 | [
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go-lucky songs like Princess Peach's Castle, Dr. Mario and my personal favorite, Fountain of Dreams, and turn them into the pugnacious pieces they are now.
If you're ever in a Nintendo mood and need to kick some ass, this is the album to go with. After all, you can't falcon punch people to any old Nintendo song. It's gotta have some spice!
Street Fighter 3rd Strike (1999, Arcade)
Composer: Hideki Okugawa
Genre: Drum n' Bass, Hip Hop
Release Date: May 12
Favorite Tracks: Jazzy NYC '99, Spunky, Killing Moon, You Blow My Mind
Album Duration: Around 1 hour
Played: Briefly
Here's an album that'll make you want to pick fights in the club. Although many of the iconic Street Fighter tracks came from the hit that propelled the series to fame, Street Fighter 2: The World Warrior, Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike brought a new sense of freshness to the table. It traded in the SNES sound for an album that sounded more like… well, music. And at the time hip hop and drum n' bass were popular choices which perfectly fit the almost graffiti feel of SFIII.
What I mean by graffiti feel is that you can almost imagine each track playing in the backdrop of an inner city skate park. Sure, given its name Street Fighter has always been about the rough and tumble, but Street Fighter III took that persona and made it cool. From the class act that is Dudley to the Brazilian basketball player turned to the hadou, Sean, there's just an extra feel of hipness that the rest of the series hasn't been able to live up to, and that's just as apparent if you listen to the soundtrack.
Take the track Spunky as an example. They could have easily just left it at the high-pitched synth tune that plays from the beginning of the track but instead they throw in a snappy drum back beat to speed up the pace, and a few more electronic additions to fill the song out in an almost cyberpunk kind of style. Compare that quickness to the more laid back theme for Dudley, You Blow My Mind, which slows the pace down and throws in some piano. While both tracks harbor the ability to make you want to get up and dance, they achieve that feel in very different ways. So even though each song doesn't conjure thoughts of a different country like SFII, it still manages to give each character their own distinct personality through the use of different instruments. I also think this album is just more enjoyable to listen to whenever, whereas most of the other Street Fighter soundtracks tend to lose some of their appeal outside of their respective games.
Guilty Gear X2 (2002, Arcade)
Composer(s): Koichi Seiyama, Daisuke Ishiwatari
Favorite Tracks: The Midnight Carnival, Meet Again, Holy Orders(Be Just or Be Dead), Haven't You Got Eyes In Your Head?
Album Duration: About 1 1/2 hours
Played: No
If you are looking for a hard-hitting OST and none of the smoother or friendlier albums listed above quite suit you, look no further than Guilty Gear X2. This album was in direct competition with many other fighting game soundtracks that use heavy guitar work as the backdrop for their action, but GGX2 always seemed to edge them out in some way or another. It must be something about the late '90s/early 2000s that produced consistently killer soundtracks.
From start to finish, this album contends with some of the best metal bands in terms of riffs and will even have you thinking of Castlevania with songs like Holy Orders (Be Just or Be Dead) and Writhe in Pain. But no matter what, this album reminds you of, you'll always be ready for a scrap with a symphony of guitars so intensely majestic it's enough to make Brutal Legend feel inadequate. This game is so metal, in fact, that one the characters in the game, Eddie, is named after Iron Maiden's mascot, Eddie the Head.
Anybody who's into guitar solos, heavy metal or | 0.363394 | -0.057589 | -0.916476 | -0.919199 | [
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Amandus Louis Bernhard Olesk (* in der Landgemeinde Kavastu, Kreis Tartu, Livland; † 19. Februar 1932 in Tartu, Republik Estland) war ein estnischer Jurist und Politiker.
Frühe Jahre
Lui Olesk wurde als Sohn der seit 1869 verwitweten Helene Marie Norrmann (geb. Reinwald, 1844−-1919) geboren. 1883 wurde er von dem Landwirt Peeter Olesk als Kind angenommen.
Lui Olesk besuchte von 1895 bis 1902 das renommierte Hugo-Treffner-Gymnasium in Tartu. Sein Abitur legte er als Externer in Narva ab. Ab 1902 studierte er Rechtswissenschaft an der Universität in Tartu. Er gehörte dem Verein Studierender Esten (Eesti Üliõpilaste Selts) an. Nach seinem Studium war Olesk als Anwalt in Tartu tätig. Gleichzeitig engagierte er sich auch bei der Zeitung Postimees.
Politik
Früh zog es ihn in die Politik. 1905 war er einer der Mitbegründer der Gruppe der Radikalsozialisten. Gleichzeitig wurde er Herausgeber der Zeitung Vaba Sõna ("Freies Wort"). Nach dem Scheitern der Revolution von 1905 wurde Olesk 1906 inhaftiert. Die Jahre zwischen 1908 und 1910 musste er in der Verbannung in Wologda verbringen.
Von 1910 bis 1917 war er dann wieder als Anwalt in Tartu tätig. Ab 1917 gehörte er dem Stadtrat von Tartu an und war dessen Vorsitzender.
Während der deutschen Besetzung Estlands waren Lui Olesk und seine Frau von April bis November 1918 von den deutschen Machthabern inhaftiert. Erst mit dem Zusammenbruch des deutschen Kaiserreichs kamen sie wieder frei. Olesk organisierte dann schnell die Wiederherstellung der Rechtsordnung im Süden Estlands. 1918/1919 war er Vorsitzender des Friedensgerichts von Tartu-Võru.
Mit der Gründung der unabhängigen Republik Estland machte er schnell politische Karriere in der sozialdemokratischen Estnischen Arbeitspartei (Eesti Tööerakond). Ab April 1919 war Olesk Mitglied der Verfassungsgebenden Versammlung der Republik Estland (Asutav Kogu). Von April bis Oktober 1919 war er 1. Stellvertretender Vorsitzender der Konstituante.
Im August 1919 wurde Lui Olesk zum Generalstaatsanwalt der jungen Republik berufen. Im Oktober 1919 trat er als Gerichtsminister in die kurzlebige Koalitionsregierung unter seinem Parteifreund Otto Strandman ein. Von Oktober 1920 bis Januar 1921 war Olesk Innenminister sowie Arbeits- und Sozialminister in der Regierung von Anton Piip. Anschließend gehörte er bis Ende 1921 dem Parlament (Riigikogu) an.
Nach seinem Ausscheiden aus dem Parlament war Olesk wieder als Anwalt sowie journalistisch tätig. 1923 wurde er kurzzeitig Chef-Redakteur der Zeitung Vaba Maa ("Freies Land") und 1925 der Zeitschrift Vaba Sõna.
Daneben war Olesk im Kultur- sowie im Wirtschaftsleben aktiv, unter anderem von 1928 bis zu seinem Tod als Vorstandsvorsitzender der Versicherungsgesellschaft Oma.
Familie
Lui Olesk war seit 1905 mit der Frauenrechtlerin und Politikerin Minni Kurs-Olesk (1879–1940) verheiratet. Da beide für die strikte Trennung von Staat und Kirche eintraten, wurde die Ehe ohne kirchliche Trauung geschlossen, ein Skandal für die damalige Zeit. Das Paar hatte vier Töchter.
Minni Kurs-Olesk gehörte wie ihr Mann als Abgeordnete der sozialdemokratischen Estnischen Arbeitspartei 1919/1920 der Verfassungsgebenden Versammlung der Republik Estland an. Sie blieb in der gesam | 0.100417 | 0.19489 | -0.313802 | 0.285235 | [
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WeWorks Slumping IPO Valuation Isnt Investor SoftBanks Only Major Problem
fortune.com 09/13/2019 08:48:27
SoftBanks week went from bad to worse, after public investors and California lawmakers separately turned down the lights on some of the firms shiniest startups.
First, SoftBankurged WeWork to shelvean initial public offering after investors recoiled. If WeWork acquiesces, the move would staunch an important source of capital to one of SoftBanks biggest bets. Then on Tuesday night, the California Legislaturepasseda labor bill that could force gig economy companies to incur substantial new employment costs and dramatically reshape their business models.
SoftBank has put more than $10 billion into WeWork and is a key financier of businesses in the gig economy. Its the biggest investor in Uber Technologies Inc. and also holds large stakes in food delivery startup DoorDash Inc. and dog-walking app Wag Inc., all of which are built on contract labor.
This weeks events didnt have a substantial impact on shares of SoftBank Group Corp. or Uber, but the implications will play out over the coming months and years. For WeWork, the company must decide whether to get its now-diminished IPO back on track with a possibleoverhaul of its corporate governanceor to seek capital elsewhere. Meanwhile, Uber and DoorDash are teaming up to fight California lawmakers with awar chestof $60 million between the two of them and a proposal to put an alternative referendum before voters on next years ballot.
SoftBank and its three-year-old Vision Fund have a lot riding on the gig economy. It led a$535 millionround in DoorDash and kicked$300 millioninto Wag last year, investments designed to legitimize the business model Uber helped pioneer. Uber is the largest of the lot and as such, has the most to lose. Analysts expect additional costs would top as much as $500 million a year to cover overtime pay and other entitlements for California drivers. If other states follow Californias lead, that number could quickly increase.
Tony West, Ubers chief legal officer, said the company expects to continue to respond to claims of misclassification in arbitration and in court as necessary, just as we do now.The new law says people whose jobs are in the usual course of a companys business must be considered employees. West contends that drivers arent in the usual course of Ubers business because its a technology platform. Uber has warned shareholders in securities filings that a reclassification of workers would adversely affect its business.
SoftBank will need to weigh all of these issues when it reports an estimated value for the Vision Fund to investors for the quarter, which ends this month. SoftBank marked up the funds value to $82.2 billion in the last reporting period ending in June. It may be difficult to justify continued paper gains.
Of the $10.7 billion SoftBank has committed to WeWork, about $4 billion is from the Vision Fund. SoftBank had been steadily writing up the value of that stake. Now, as part of IPO planning, WeWorks financial advisers are pegging the companys valuation at about the same price as the Vision Fund paid in 2017 and half what SoftBank Group paid in January. As for Uber, SoftBank holds about 13% of its stock, which is down 27% since the end of June.
The WeWork IPO and gig economy law are two points of uncertainty at a time when SoftBank needs to show stability. The Japanese conglomerate unveiled plans this summer to raise a second, larger Vision Fund to bankroll technology companies.
The goal is to amass $108 billion. Some $38 billion will come from SoftBank, and as much as $20 billion will arrive in the form of loans from SoftBank to employees taking stakes in the fund. That still leaves $50 billion from outsiders, who need to be convinced that SoftBank is a reliable steward of their money.
More must-read stories from Fortune:
The bull and bear case for investing in Apple before the debut of its streaming service
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Drought is a growing concern in many parts of the world. In South Africa, which has faced such critical water shortages that the city of Cape Town nearly ran dry, signs with the tag line 'Water is our lifeline' can be seen everywhere. The lack of water has become such a problem that some grape growers who need to irrigate are even questioning the long-term viability of their crop. This is not just a South African problem – agriculture is the greatest user of water globally, and drought is an increasing threat in many countries. Yet one region, the McLaren Vale in South Australia, had the insight three decades ago to put a water plan in place to ensure sustainability.
McLaren Vale calls itself one of the most sustainable wine regions in Australia, whose grapes are irrigated with water from aquifers, dams and reclaimed water from nearby water treatment plants. To have access to non-dam water, licences are required. In 1991, a group of farmers got together and lobbied the government to impose water restrictions, one of the first initiatives of its kind in the country. A moratorium on further water licences became official by the 2003/2004 growing season. A limit of 1.1 megalitre (ML) of water per hectare was set, in a region where farmers had used up to 3ML per hectare. Jock Harvey, a consultant and vineyard manager at Chalk Hill, helped put the scheme together. "It took a while for growers to adopt this change," he said. "Farmers were getting a lot of money for their crop at that time. Chardonnay now worth A$1,000 ($713) a tonne was A$2,000 in 1989". But in the long run, Dudley Brown, owner of Inkwell Wines, thinks the move was good for everyone. "Once the water got limited, people naturally produced smaller crops, resulting in more flavours in the grapes. It raised the quality and reputation of the wines," he said.
This was just step one of their strategy. Groundwater was depleting, and salinity was increasing, limiting the establishment of new vineyards. The future for sustainable farming was also in question. In 1997 a group of 15 growers got together and founded the Willunga Basin Water Company (WBWC), a pipeline system to supply reclaimed water for irrigation to McLaren Vale farmers. They bought the rights from the Christies Beach Wastewater Treatment Plant, which produces about 10GL per year. The group invested a total of A$7m and got contracts for 40 years of water. By 1999, everything was up and running. "It was that quick because it was done privately, with no help of the government," said Harvey, who was involved. This opened up land for new plantings and contributed to the boom of the late '90s. "It also allowed irrigators to replace mains water [A$3,500 per ML] with reclaimed water [A$1,200 per ML]," he adds.
The WBWC sources approximately 6GL of treated wastewater each year. The system comprises 120km of underground pipework and at peak capacity can deliver 8,160ML of water over a typical 120-day irrigation period. The company currently supplies water to 215 customers, representing 45% of the growers.
If a producer wants to connect to the pipeline, there is a one-time fee. Antonia Stevens, financial controller at the WUA, says it costs an average A$7,500 per ML to get set up. It is paid upfront and covers the capital cost to connect. If there is no pipeline in the area where the vineyards are located, the WBWC will consider installing pipelines as long as enough growers within the same region are willing to connect and buy water. Afterwards, growers buy a water allocation for the year. Prices vary according to how much is purchased, but it works out at about A$1.16/kilolitre, according to Stevens.
Using reclaimed water for irrigation has a positive impact on the environment. Not only does it take pressure off the underground water, but the other big advantage is that a large quantity of wastewater is no longer going to the ocean. Dudley Brown of | 1.246835 | 1.756318 | 1.317952 | 0.286536 | [
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] | 1,334,793 | 0 | C4 | 7 | 9 |
Inkwell says that barely treated wastewater running off the Gulf Saint Vincent was destroying the adjacent coral reef. "This gulf is skinny and does not have a high water flow, so the nitrogen accumulates. It kills seagrass and underground habitats start dying," said Brown. Another problem, he said, is oestrogen going into the water. "Women are on the pill and the oestrogen in the urine is hard to filter out, so it goes to the sea, disturbing fish reproduction." He said the reclaimed water system has reduced ocean pollution by 60%.
WBWC's establishment has ensured the industry's sustainability; as Stephen Pannell of S.C. Pannell winery said, one of the biggest problems Australia faces is water security. But with this system, he feels secure. The WBWC saved Gemtree Wines from what could have been a tragedy, said owner and biodynamic viticulturist Melissa Brown. The aquifer where the winery is located is under stress, with the water becoming salty and the flow rate decreasing. It doesn't have water licences attached to every parcel and can't get more. For a while, it was able to transfer a water licence to increase supply, but only temporarily under Water Board rules. "I can't imagine which position we would have been in should the WBWC have refused to connect us to the system," she said.
The WBWC is a privately owned company, which means profit is important. However, Elly Alford, business development and client services manager, said that even though pricing is not regulated, the company has a focus on sustainability. "Reasonable pricing is key if you want people to buy," she said. Melissa Brown said that water is still very expensive. "It adds an extra cost of A$4,500 per acre. But we can't take this into account when we finalise the price tag of our wines." What is driving an increase in price is the high cost of power, which Dudley Brown said is increasing by about 2-3% a year.
What if a winery or grower runs out of water once they have purchased an allocation? They can't get more – and if they don't use all of it, they still need to pay for it. "Humans naturally want to make use of their investment. It's easier turn the tap on, than off," said Stephen Pannell. But this might not encourage producers to preserve precious water if they over-purchased.
Currently, the WBWC has access to 12.5GL but has space to store 6.5GL. Developing storage facilities to house water in the winter and meet demand is a priority, says Alford. The company has applied for government funding, but will go ahead whether it gets the funding or not. Further to that, a total of A$2m has been invested allowing for an expansion into McLaren Flat to the east of the McLaren Vale Township. The infrastructure will enable further expansion into Blewitt Springs, which has no supplementary water supply. WBWC also has other business prospects, both in Australia and further afield, in New Zealand.
Global water scarcity is a story that's just beginning, and as growers from around the world become thirsty, they will need to find solutions. McLaren Vale has the largest reclaimed water network in Australia and 100% of all irrigation is coming from a sustainable resource other than river water. One can only hope other regions look at this model closely and follow Elly Alford's mantra: If you like wine, flush twice.
While droughts are common in countries like South Africa and Australia, farmers who are normally immune to these kinds of crises found themselves grappling a severe drought in 2018. According to The Guardian, state of emergency were declared in Latvia and Lithuania, while more than 50 wildfires raged in Sweden. The drought affected Scandinavia, Scotland, Ireland, the Baltics, the Netherlands and parts of Germany, while large areas in the US were subject to abnormal dryness and severe to exceptional drought conditions. Drought affected regions included Oregon, Washington and parts of California.
Wine grapes are exquisitely sensitive to changes in environment, including water stress and there are numerous projects underway to tackle the issue: the trialling of different grape varieties; the breeding of dr | 0.819496 | 1.151085 | 0.754907 | 0.207194 | [
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The Cable: Iran sanctions bill coming to Senate floor again Iran sanctions bill coming to Senate floo...
Iran sanctions bill coming to Senate floor again
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) is bringing the Johnson-Shelby Iran sanctions bill to the floor for a second time today in an attempt to pass the bill by unanimous consent, without a formal vote. The Johnson-Shelby Iran Sanctions, Accountability and Human Rights Act of 2012 is a new set of sanctions that would punish ...
| May 17, 2012, 1:43 PM
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) is bringing the Johnson-Shelby Iran sanctions bill to the floor for a second time today in an attempt to pass the bill by unanimous consent, without a formal vote.
The Johnson-Shelby Iran Sanctions, Accountability and Human Rights Act of 2012 is a new set of sanctions that would punish any entity that provides Iran with equipment or technology that facilitates censorship or the suppression of human rights, including weapons, rubber bullets, tear gas, and other riot control equipment — as well as communications jamming, monitoring, and surveillance equipment. It also calls on the Obama administration to develop a more robust Internet freedom strategy for Iran and speed new assistance to pro-democracy activists in the country.
The legislation, named for Senate Banking Committee heads Tim Johnson (D-SD) and Richard Shelby (R-AL), would formally establish that U.S. policy is intended to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon, and would require the administration to report extensively and repeatedly on its efforts to increase diplomatic and financial pressure on the Iranian regime.
In March, Reid attempted to pass the bill by unanimous consent, meaning that the bill would pass without debate or vote if no senators objected. Reid said there simply wasn't enough time to debate the bill or consider amendments, such one by Sen. Mark Kirk (R-IL) that would have added even more sanctions to the legislation.
But Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) objected to unanimous consent in March because he wanted to offer an amendment explicitly stating that the bill does not authorize the use of military force against Iran, forcing Reid to shelve the bill. Now, two months later, Reid has come up with a strategy that he thinks will get the bill through the Senate without an objection and to a conference committee, where it will be reconciled with a similar bill passed by the House last December.
Reid, Johnson, and Shelby have been working on a "manager's package" to add to the Senate bill that would address Paul's issue and incorporate the Kirk amendment (find the text and a detailed summary here), but the Kirk language will be added as a non-binding "sense of the senate," rather than as binding provisions of law.
The text of the latest version of the manager's package, obtained by The Cable, can be found here.
"They basically took the binding provisions of the Kirk amendment and significantly reduced it to a 'sense of Senate,' leaving out key details to get Senate Democrats and Republicans to agree to move the bill forward for unanimous consent adoption," said Mark Dubowitz, executive director of the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies. "Senate Democrats were only willing to let this language come in as a sense of the Senate and then defer to the conference committee to negotiate."
The Kirk amendment contained new provisions that would impose sanctions against any insurance company underwriting a sanctionable activity by the government of Iran, extend sanctions to all Iranian financial institutions, declare the Iranian telecom and technology sector a zone of electronic repression, sanction any international company selling technology services to the Iranian regime that could be used to censor the Internet or be used for repressive purposes, and sanction satellite companies that are allowing the Iranian government to jam international broadcasts such as Voice of America.
Three Senate aides told The Cable that the Senate was expected to bring up and pass the bill on Thursday. The Senate goes on another recess next week and a new round of international discussions with Iran over its nuclear program begin on May 23 in Baghdad.
When the Congress does get back to work next month, the Senate bill will be conferenced with the House's Iran Threat Reduction Act. That bill does not contain the extra sanctions found in the Kirk am | -0.118731 | 0.462141 | 0.017277 | 0.443919 | [
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«Ice» es una canción grabada por la cantante y compositora Kelly Rowland, con el rapero Lil Wayne. Fue lanzado el 24 de agosto de 2012. Originalmente fue el primer sencillo del cuarto álbum de estudio de Rowland, Talk a Good Game, sin embargo, no hizo el corte final del álbum. La canción fue escrita por Rowland, Sean Garrett, Noel Fisher y Wayne, mientras que la producción fue dirigida por Garrett y Fisher. "Ice" es la tercera colaboración entre Rowland y Wayne.
«Ice» es una canción midtempo R&B, que cuenta con un ritmo atronador, castañetas y luz sintetizador riffs. En la canción, Rowland instruye a su amante masculino sobre cómo utilizar correctamente un cubo de hielo sobre su cuerpo desnudo. "Ice" recibió críticas positivas de los críticos de música, que elogiaron su sexy voz.
Antecedentes
Tras el lanzamiento de su tercer álbum de estudio, Rowland comenzó a trabajar en su próximo cuarto álbum de estudio. Ella dijo: "Yo estoy en el estudio. Man, que ha sido tan divertido. Me hubiera gustado que algunos de mis fanes podrían estar ahí para eso... [lo] he grabado un montón de momentos para mis fanes". El 30 de junio de 2012, un adelanto de dos minutos de "Ice" se filtró en Internet. La versión completa filtró en Internet el 3 de julio de 2012, con Rowland tweets: "Bueno, supongo que has oído #ICE... Gracias por el amor y apoyo, pero estoy feliz de que lo ama como yo.!». El 7 de agosto de 2012, Rowland dio a conocer el arte de la cubierta para la canción. La imagen muestra una ventana de vapor en la que se inscribe el título de la canción. "Ice" fue enviado a la radio urbana en los Estados Unidos el 14 de agosto de 2012, según el primer sencillo del próximo álbum de estudio de cuarto de Rowland, que en el momento estaba destinado a ser titulado Year of the Woman. Fue lanzado a través de las tiendas iTunes desde el 24 de agosto de 2012.
Composición
"Ice" fue escrito por Rowland, Sean Garrett, Noel Fisher y Lil Wayne, mientras que la producción fue dirigida por Fisher y Garrett. La canción cuenta con la voz invitada de Wayne, quien previamente colaboró con Rowland en "Motivación". "Ice" es un mid-tempo lento R&B canción, también consideró "una balada melódica", que cuenta con un ritmo atronador, el dedo encaje y ligera sintetizador riffs. Un miembro de la cabina de DJ escribió que Rowland "utiliza un sintetizador -impulsada y batir purificador-friendly de detalle productor para establecer el estado de ánimo, dejando que el mundo sepa que el amor de su hombre es tan bueno que le da escalofríos".
Líricamente, la canción, Rowland instruye a su amante masculino sobre cómo utilizar correctamente un cubo de hielo sobre su cuerpo desnudo.
Recepción de la crítica
"Ice" ha recibido críticas positivas de la mayoría de los críticos de música. Erika Ramírez de Billboard revista escribió que "La canción liquidación lenta cuenta tanto la Sra. Kelly y Lil Wayne elevar de nuevo la temperatura cuando a puerta cerrada". Rap-Up elogió la voz de Rowland, escribiendo, "La diva del R&B derrite el Sean pista Garrett-escribió con su sexy voz. MTV Reino Unido estuvo de acuerdo, por escrito "Las características únicas sexy voz impecable de Kelly elevación de la temperatura ambiente, mientras que Weezy lo enfría con su flujo frío". Siguiendo los mismos pensamientos, Chris Eggersten de Hitfix escribió que "'Ice' es una | -0.485804 | -1.477557 | -1.877712 | -1.332817 | [
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It is well and truly winter time here in Tassie.
Driving down from the home dome on Mount Nelson the other morning, Brunyfire noted how the acclaimed Bridgewater Jerry's icy fingers reached across the city below……. …….. and was reminded once more of winter's grip. I was on my way to my new favourite breakfast cafe in Battery Point, the Jam Jar Lounge Cafe. The dreary bleakness of the surrounding cottage gardens around Battery Point at this time of year – classic little stone, whaler's cottages that form the distinctive character of this area – was very evident. Gardens that are usually a riot of colourful traditional British style cottage garden flowers and trees, where this time shrouded in drabness.
However, amongst the greyness, the dried up sticks and the soggy dead leaves of this dormant time, there was a surprising splash of colour.
Persimmons. I'd been aware of these curious looking fruits since the late 90s after returning from a conference on the occasion of the IAC's (International Academy of Ceramics) 37th General Assembly in Nagoya and Saga, Japan. As part of the activities, we members were invited to the beautiful home and workshop of Sakaida Kakiemon XIV (1934-2013) in Arita. Sakaida Kakiemon XIV, was a legendary master of Arita porcelain and a living national treasure of Japan (he died of cancer at 78 just a matter of weeks ago). He began working with ceramics after graduating from Tama Art University's Faculty of Art and Design in 1958 with a degree in Japanese painting. Following the death of Kakiemon XIII, he assumed the name of Kakiemon in 1982.
Sakaida Kakiemon XIV was an original descendent of Sikaida Kizaemon (1596-1666) who was popularly credited with being one of the first in Japan to discover the secret of on-glaze enamel decoration on porcelain, known as 'Akae'. He was bestowed the name 'Kakiemon' by his overlord at the time for perfecting a design of twin persimmons (kaki: persimmon) and for developing the distinctive palette of soft red (in addition to yellow, bleu and turquoise green) that typified the colour of the persimmon.
Finding myself in a quiet street with an overloaded tree that was overhanging a nearby fence on my way home, I chanced a quick forage and was caught red-handed when the owner of the house came out to deposit her rubbish in the outdoor garbage bin. Somewhat red faced, I asked if it was OK to pick a few, and the owner was most generous in not only letting me pick a basketful, but also high-lighting which were the ripest for eating. They are an intriguing fruit……. ………looking more like tomatoes than apricots, and with a weird internal structure whose 'seeds' are referred to as 'pits'. And the pits is what my first impression of its taste was! Persimmons are sometimes compared to apricots or plums in flavor and texture, and when fully ripe are supposed to have cinnamon, clove, and sweet undertones. Seems a bit overoptimistic a description to me! I've tried these, and suspect the fruit I tasted might not have been ripe enough, as the prevailing sensation I had with my first tasting experience was one of a lasting dry furriness – a weird sense of tongue numbing astringency!
The two most common varieties of persimmons appears to be the Fuyu and the Hachiya and it is the latter that I'm pretty sure is what I'd harvested. The key difference between the two is their level of astringency which is due to the amount of tannins that they contain.
The following warning information was found on wikiHow: If you eat the Hachiya type of persimmon before it's completely ripe, you will find it bitter and chalky, and have the strongest mouth puckering experience of your life. It will numb your lips and tongue for a short moment. However, you can avoid this by soaking the persimmon in salt water for a minute before you eat it. The salt will remove most of | 1.22492 | 0.327396 | -0.209658 | -0.518263 | [
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in Everyone has an Opinion
Was Priyanka Chopra unprofessional by leaving Bharat?
by Pankaj Kumar Sinha PUBLISHED: August 6, 2018, 4:15 pm UPDATED: April 4, 2019, 6:47 am
Priyanka Chopra's much publicized move by dropping out of 'Bharat' at the eleventh hour for whatever reason has been the talk of the town for a while now. At the trailer launch of 'Loveratri', Salman Khan did not express his real feelings about this move, when asked by a reporter and briefly said that he has been busy with a lot of things and is not reading the paper, and will call back the reporter when he reads the paper!
Why is 'Bharat' so important?
'Bharat' is a big film which starts from India's pre-partition and tells a story in a period of fifty years. It is an official adaptation of a 2014 South Korean film 'Ode To My Father'. The first schedule of the film has been wrapped up as at today. The next schedule will be shot in Malta. 'Bharat' stars Salman Khan, Jackie Shroff, Tabu, Disha Patani and Sunil Grover. The film is an emotional saga about relationships and is very special to Salman Khan. It is one of the biggest films releasing next year. He will be playing a character aging from 21 to 65 in the film. After delivering powerful emotional scenes in 'Bajrangi Bhaijaan' and 'Sultan', more is expected from him.
Was Priyanka Chopra a good fit for this role?
According to various reports, it was Priyanka Chopra, who wanted to be part of this film. It was initially planned for Katrina Kaif. Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif were last seen in 'Tiger Zinda Hai'. To pull bigger crowds, the makers thought a fresh pair would be better. Priyanka worked with Salman ten years ago in 'God Tussi Great Ho'. Priyanka Chopra's star value saw a big jump after her stint in Hollywood and she has been constantly in the news after her engagement to Nick Jonas. 'Bharat' requires a good actress and the combination of Salman-Priyanka seemed fantastic on paper!
Is Katrina Kaif the best fit for 'Bharat'?
Katrina Kaif has been signed and she was the original choice. After working with Ali Abbas Zafar in his debut film 'Mere Brother Ki Dulhan' and then 'Tiger Zinda Hai', there is no doubt that they both share a certain working relationship, which can positively work in favour of 'Bharat'.
Was there a clash between Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra?
Yes, there is a clash but it is related to their thinking process! In the past, it has been reported that Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra never shared good relations, despite doing a few films together. It is more of old school versus new school. Of course, Salman Khan's ego has been bruised after this sudden move, but he has matured over the years, not to express it publicly! Witty answers are just publicity stunts!
So, was Priyanka unprofessional?
Priyanka Chopra has reportedly bagged the role as the female lead opposite Hollywood actor Chris Pratt, in the upcoming movie 'Cowboy Ninja Viking'. To be directed by 'Game Of Thrones' fame Michelle MacLaren, the movie is being produced by Universal. Actors do leave films after signing it but doing it at last moment is the most unprofessional thing to do. Indian filmmakers and producers still work on the basis of relationships with actors than complete professionalism. The big corporations have not changed this situation as such. Actors in the film industry will need to understand their commitments after signing it and it is more important than the character they play. Many times, actors know their film is not going anywhere during the making and film will flop at the box office but they continue with same energy and act as complete professionals to finish and market the film.
Priyanka Chopra has disappointed a lot of people with her decision to drop out, even though we all know that it is not easy to bag a Hollywood movie. Can she do the same thing in Hollywood? | -0.123183 | -0.994088 | -1.154883 | -1.144218 | [
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] | 1,334,814 | 0 | CommonCrawl | 16 | 20 |
Rebranding China
Contested Status Signaling in the Changing Global Order
Xiaoyu Pu
SERIES: Studies in Asian Security
Security Studies / Asian Security
Security Studies / Global Security
China is intensely conscious of its status, both at home and abroad. This concern is often interpreted as an undivided desire for higher standing as a global leader. Yet, Chinese political elites heatedly debate the nation's role as it becomes an increasingly important player in international affairs. At times, China positions itself not as a nascent global power but as a fragile developing country. Contradictory posturing makes decoding China's foreign policy a challenge, generating anxiety and uncertainty in many parts of the world. Using the metaphor of rebranding to understand China's varying displays of status, Xiaoyu Pu analyzes a rising China's challenges and dilemmas on the global stage.
As competing pressures mount across domestic, regional, and international audiences, China must pivot between different representational tactics. Rebranding China demystifies how the state represents its global position by analyzing recent military transformations, regional diplomacy, and international financial negotiations. Drawing on a sweeping body of research, including original Chinese sources and interdisciplinary ideas from sociology, psychology, and international relations, this book puts forward an innovative framework for interpreting China's foreign policy.
Xiaoyu Pu is Associate Professor of Political Science at the University of Nevada, Reno. He is also a Public Intellectuals Program Fellow with the National Committee on U.S.-China Relations.
"Xiaoyu Pu offers a thoughtful analysis of China's competing status-signaling behavior while at the same time advancing the study of status to new and exciting territories."
—T. V. Paul, James McGill Professor of International Relations, McGill University
"In Rebranding China, Xiaoyu Pu offers an innovative and insightful analysis of the various and often contradictory ways that a rising China portrays itself on the international stage. This is a must read for anyone interested in China's foreign relations and China's domestic political development in the reform era."
—Thomas J. Christensen, Columbia University
"Xiaoyu Pu has written an original, insightful and creative book. Rebranding China elegantly explains China's otherwise contradictory images of itself as both a greatpower and a developing state."
—M. Taylor Fravel, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
"In this short and well-written monograph, Pu contributes many novel insights to both China studies and status politics studies....a must-read for anyone interested in China's foreign policy, status politics and international hierarchy."
—Biao Zhang, International Affairs
"In this excellent, pathbreaking piece of scholarship, Pu...pushes us to consider non-material motives for state action and view signaling as more than just a means of communicating intentions and resolve....[This] is an impressive piece of scholarship, one which contributes simultaneously to theoretical work on signaling and status as well empirically to our understanding of the sources of PRC behavior on the international stage."
—Todd H. Hall, Journal of Chinese Political Science
"Rebranding China sets out to debunk the notion that the rising China is desperately—even recklessly—committed to improving its status in the world. The book's greatest success is to remind readers of an important point that is sometimes overlooked: rising powers have complex incentives, some of which point toward reassuring or even system-strengthening behavior."
—Steven Ward, Cambridge Review of International Affairs
"Xiaoyu Pu's timely and important book on China's use of 'status signaling' is a welcome contribution. He argues that the origins, manifestations, and implications of 'status signaling' need to be examined to better understand China's external behavior.Pu's willingness to look inside the 'gray box' of Chinese foreign policy motivations and processes will stand up well over time."
—Evan S. Mederio, Political Science Quarterly
"Rebranding China is an engaging work that not only pushes the boundaries of theoretical knowledge on status in international politics; it is also an original development of a budding research area—the so-called logic of positionality—that deserves greater attention in IR. In relation to scholarship on China's foreign policy, the book's discussion of the developing country role is a welcome addition to current conversations that tend to harp on China's rising status."
—Hoo Tiang Boon, | 1.854971 | 1.190479 | 1.749113 | 1.606731 | [
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The Premier Site for Russian Culture
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Biographies Russian Artists 20th Century Turn of the Century Art Nouveau Philippe Maliavine
Philippe Maliavine
Born: 1869, Kazanka (Samara Province)
Died: 1940, Nice (France)
Movements:
Émigré Art
Painter, draughtsman, teacher. Born in the village of Kazanka in Samara Province (now Orenburg Region) in a family of poor peasants called Andrei Malyavin and Domna Klimovna (1869). Studied at the icon-painting studio of the Monastery of Agiou Panteleimonos on Mount Athos in Greece (1885–91) and under Pavel Chistyakov, Vasily Petrovich Vereschagin, Carl Wenig and Ilya Repin at the Imperial Academy of Arts in St Petersburg (1892–99). Painted Impressionist portraits of peasant women (from 1894) and such fellow students as Konstantin Somov (1895), Igor Grabar (1895) and Anna Ostroumova-Lebedeva (1896). Awarded the title of artist (1899). Married fellow student Natalia Novak-Savich and bought a small estate near the village of Aksinino in Ryazan Province (1900). Member of the World of Art (1900) and the Union of Russian Artists (1903). Visited Paris (1900, 1906). Academician of painting (1906). Lived and worked in Aksinino, where he painted Fauvist pictures of the local peasant women (1900–18). Moved to Ryazan (1918), where he worked for IZO Narkompros and taught at the State Free Art Studios (1919–20). Moved to Moscow (1920), where he sketched portraits of Vladimir Lenin, Leon Trotsky and Anatoly Lunacharsky in the Kremlin (1920–22). Travelled with a one-man show to Berlin and Paris, where he decided to emigrate (1922). Lived in Paris, Malmö and Nice (1920s–30s). Painted portraits of ballerina Alexandra Balashova (1924), singer Nadezhda Plevitskaya (1929), King Gustav V, Prince Eugen and Princess Ingrid of Sweden (1936) and director Ernst Fischer of the Malmö Konstmuseum (1939). Arrested by the Gestapo in Brussels and accused of espionage (1940). Released and forced to return to Nice by foot (1940). Died in Nice and buried at the Cimetière russe de Caucade (1940). Contributed to exhibitions (from 1895). Contributed to the exhibitions of the Moscow Society of Lovers of the Arts (1895–96), Society of Travelling Art Exhibitions (1895, 1900–01), Imperial Academy of Arts (1899), World of Art (1899–1903, 1906, 1911, 1921, 1922), 36 Artists (1901), Berlin Sezession (1903, 1904), Union of Russian Artists (1903–06, 1910–12, 1916, 1922, 1923), Sergei Diaghilev's Exhibition of Historical Russian Portraits at the Tauride Palace in St Petersburg (1905), Exposition de l'Art russe at the Salon d'Automne in Paris (1906) and Russische Kunst-Ausstellung at the Kunstsalon Schulte in Berlin (1906), Association of Artists of Revolutionary Russia (1922), Die erste russische Kunstausstellung at the Galerie Van Diemen in Berlin (192 | 0.618154 | 1.480561 | -0.144191 | 0.443919 | [
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Young & Hungry
Gather 'round, would-be chefs. Let's bake up a sitcom today! First, take a Disney comedy out of the fridge. Let's see, what do we have here ... oh, perfect! A little Jessie will do just nicely. Now, dump it in a bowl and mix in a heaping cupful of CBS' departed Two and a Half Men. Make sure it's not too fresh, now. It really needs to have aged a bit, preferably in the sun for, say, a year or two. Now, kneed and beat and froth the whole works up something fierce and garnish with just a dash of Julia Child or Rachael Ray to suit your taste. And what do you have? Young & Hungry, a dish just perfect for—well, no one.
Yeah, maybe next time Two and a Half Men could be replaced in the recipe with some high-gluten wheat germ or something. Alas, it's too late for this ABC Family series, a tart and tawdry cookie-cutter sitcom that seems just as confused as its main character, Gabi Diamond.
Oh, Gabi knows what she wants to do: cook. As a young San Francisco food blogger, her professional life revolves around food. Now she has a new gig—serving as the personal chef for wealthy tech wizard Josh Kaminski. But it's not just the occasional steak being broiled between the two: Gabi and Josh are in, shall we say, a relational stew. The pair got drunk and slept together early on, and after some relational difficulties (including the need to deal with Josh's fiancée), the two are now an item—the chef's choice, if you will.
Not that the two have a lot of alone time onscreen. Josh's other employees are always jostling for their turn in the spotlight too. There's Elliot, his personal assistant and walking gay stereotype. Yolanda serves as the requisitely sassy maid. And Gabi's flirty roomie, Sofia, fills the BFF slot.
Starring Hannah Montana alum Emily Osment and produced in part by Disney vet Ashley Tisdale (who makes a cameo as a lesbian editor attracted to Gabi), Young & Hungry has a bit of a Disney sitcom vibe—if Disney characters were prone to curse, sleep around and run screaming from any sort of end-of-the-episode moral. Its two-camera, setup-and-punchline delivery feels very familiar to shows in the Mouse House, and even the structure of the episode titles ("Young & Ringless," "Young & Lesbian") have the same gimmicky feel as those we've seen for years on Disney.
But these ABC Family characters are, in comparison to Disney's stable of tempered teens, old and randy. Gabi and Sofia are twentysomethings into the bar and dating scene, and any sort of morals they might've absorbed in their growing up years from the likes of Disney have been scrapped in favor of cocktails, canoodles and the occasional very adult use of whipped cream.
Admittedly, Two and a Half Men goes further down the sleazy slide than this series does. And it does stress the value of friendship and loyalty in its own little way. But given the involvement of Tisdale—who, in the High School Musical movies and a host of other Disney properties was both hilarious and clean—Young & Hungry leaves me feeling uncomfortably bloated and craving something fresh.
July 18, 2018: "Young & Bullseye"
Gabi and her boyfriend, Josh, go on an awkward and competitive double date with Sofia and her new beau, Nick. Elliot and his friend Alan, coach Yolanda through a date after she pretends to be someone she's not.
Gabi and Sofia make out with their boyfriends and talk about moving in with them. Gabi and the gang make multiple jokes about sex, sexual contact, homosexual relationships and strip clubs. Girls wear shirts revealing cleavage. Someone jokingly threatens to kill their friend. A couple lies about their professions. Two guys compete to see who the better man is. People drink hard liquor, wine and beer. God's name is misused twice and other profanities include "d--mit," " | 0.010361 | -0.977972 | -1.360318 | -0.982933 | [
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EHNAC Overview
Officers and Commissioners
Site Reviewers
Accredited Organizations
New Applicants
Re-Accreditation
Applicant Agreement
Cloud-Enabled Services
Data Registry Accreditation Program
DirectTrust Privacy and Security
EHNAC Privacy and Security
e-Prescribing
Health Information Exchanges
Healthcare Networks
Management Service Organizations
Practice Management Systems
Trusted Network Accreditation Program
Cloud-Enabled Accreditation Criteria
Confidentiality Measures
International Accreditation
Non-Compliance Notification
Sample Project Plan
Why EHNAC
EHNAC looks to fill HIPAA, Meaningful Use compliance gaps
As featured on HealthIT Security
By Patrick Ouellette
When looking at future Office for Civil Rights (OCR) privacy and security audits, it's important to focus not on 2013, but 2014 after the HIPAA omnibus rule has gone into effect. The Electronic Healthcare Network Accreditation Commission (EHNAC), a federally-recognized, independent accrediting organization, told HealthITSecurity.com at HIMSS13 that it can provide assistance in this area.
EHNAC Executive Director Lee Barrett said that the expansion of HIPAA responsibilities has increased the need for many healthcare organizations to look toward outside sources for guidance and security testing. EHNAC has been in conversation with OCR since the HIPAA omnibus rule came out and has been mapping the OCR audit protocol to its own criteria. While Barrett says that EHNAC has identified a large number of similarities, he thinks the audits shouldn't be limited to solely HIPAA. "What's different is OCR aligned their standards strictly to HIPAA protocols," he said. "We do the same, but have taken it a step further and gone out with best practices."
In response to the HIPAA omnibus rule, EHNAC's advisory group has taken all of the rule's new provisions, mapping those to their own criteria, and will come out with another release of its criteria to come out in tandem with the HIPAA omnibus September enforcement date. Since HIPAA now includes responsibility for the line of business associates (BAs) and covered entities, there's a greater focus on penalties and breach notification has taken on a broader perspective, Barrett said EHNAC offers unique experience.
"More organizations are going to look for third-party review to objectively evaluate their policies, procedures and controls," he said. "A big part of our accreditation model is around privacy and security so we think many organizations will want to interact with us before OCR comes into audit them."
HIPAA concerns
Many healthcare organizations have taken a pretty minimalist approach to HIPAA to this point. According to Barrett, plenty of organizations aren't aware of the omnibus rule at this point and don't realize that it's not just going to be a checklist anymore. Instead, the key is to receive on-site visits from outside bodies.
Many organizations have asked, with an accreditation, why do you have to do an actual site audit and why can't we just do a self-attestation? My answer is that in 50 percent of the cases where we've gone to an accreditation, if I go by a self-attestation I would say they look like they have all the stuff in place. When we go into an organization and they tell us about their role based access, for example, we want to see their actual controls and who's responsible for what. Often times, they don't have an answer. These are things organizations often don't think about and the omnibus rule takes it to a whole new level and the exposure is higher.
Barrett attended a recent HIPAA summit and because the omnibus rule doesn't go into effect until September, OCR said it won't do any audits until the rule goes into effect. It seems as though the OCR thinks that without the rule being in effect, people would get confused and it won't be doing audits to any great extent this year. With 2014 audits looming, the industry has a transitional year to get compliant.
Direct Trusted Agent Accreditation Program (DTAAP)
A big part of Stage 2 Meaningful Use compliance once January 2014 rolls around will be direct messaging security and privacy. EHN | -0.400028 | 0.322024 | 0.838603 | 0.5974 | [
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Q: HTML form automatically tries to validate and doesn't wait for the submit button to be clicked I have this HTML form:
<form onclick="return validateForm();">
<h1 style="color:whitesmoke;">Register</h1>
<h2>Please enter your details:</h2>
<br />
<input type="email" name="email" placeholder="example@email.com" />
<input type="password" name="password" placeholder="Password" />
<br />
<input type="text" name="FirstName" placeholder="First name" />
<input type="text" name="LastName" placeholder="Last name" />
<br />
<div style="position:relative; top:10px;">
<label>Birth Date: <input type="date" id="birthday" name="DateOfBirth"></label>
</div>
<br />
<input type="number" placeholder="Age" min="10" max="120" name="age" style="width:15%;" />
<br />
<label style="position:relative; right:20px; top: 10px;">
Gender: <input id="setD_male" type="radio" name="gender" checked>
<label for="setD_male">Male</label>
<input id="setD_female" type="radio" name="gender">
<label for="setD_female">Female</label>
</label>
<br />
<div style="position:relative; top:10px;">
<input id="checkmark" type="checkbox" /><label> I agree to the terms and regulations.</label>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<input type="hidden" name="error" value="">
<button type="submit" id="Register" name="Register" class="submit-button">Register</button>
</form>
and this JavaScript:
var checkbox = document.getElementById("checkmark");
var button = document.getElementById("Register");
button.disabled = true;
checkbox.addEventListener("change", function () {
button.disabled = !checkbox.checked;
});
function validateForm() {
var error;
var email = document.getElementsByName("email")[0].value;
if (!email.endsWith(".com")) {
alert("Email has to end with '.com'");
return false;
}
var password = document.getElementsByName("password")[0].value;
var FirstName = document.getElementsByName("FirstName")[0].value;
var LastName = document.getElementsByName("LastName")[0].value;
var DateOfBirth = document.getElementsByName("DateOfBirth")[0].value;
var age = document.getElementsByName("age")[0].value;
var gender = document.getElementsByName("gender")[0].value;
if (
email === "" ||
password === "" ||
FirstName === "" ||
LastName === "" ||
DateOfBirth === "" ||
age === "" ||
gender === "" ||
email === null ||
password === null ||
FirstName === null ||
LastName === null ||
DateOfBirth === null ||
age === null ||
gender === null
) {
error = "nullRegistration";
window.location.href = "systemMessagesjsp.jsp?error=" + error;
return false;
}
if (
!Register(emailAddress, password, firstName, lastName, DOB, age, gender)
) {
error = "CantCreateUser";
window.location.href = "systemMessagesjsp.jsp?error=" + error;
return false;
} else {
alert("successfully signed in");
return true;
}
}
When I debug it, I can see that upon entering this page on my browser, the function "validateForm()" is being called, and also called again when I click the submit button. Why is it being called upon entering ?
I tried debugging it and I could see that upon entering the page, it jumps straight into validateForm and does all of the code inside of it, where instead, it should only perform the code inside of it if the user hits the submit button at the bottom of the | -1.865067 | -1.789127 | -0.329336 | -1.223559 | [
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-1.280789552429359
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Welcome back readers! This post is gonna be a short one and it will only have a few bits and not much knowledge of sandboarding included in this one but it will have some news that's relevant to the blog and for some resources to the blog for time to come!
You would have seen its first pictures and full capability on the 2015 Session: Holywell Bay post where I had a set of 9 photos of the sand dunes at Holywell Bay. According to the smart technology on the photos that tell me the model of the camera when I upload the photo, the sports camera is an SP5K Series Digital Camera, exposure time is 1/2,000 seconds (0.0005), F-number is f/2.8, photos taken are up to 12 mega pixels and the ISO speed rating is 50. I personally have no clue what those numbers mean but my mind works in the form that if I can see the photo clearly, it looks good to me.
For the video aspect of the camera, it's a powerful toy! The camera can record up to 60fps in 720p HD or 30fps in 1080p HD. On the maximum (32GB) storage card the camera can take, just over 6 hours of film can be captured in 720p and it's just over 5 and a half hours in 1080p.
If you're familiar with the video of me on Holywell Bay on a couple of posts back, then you would have noticed that I captured that video whilst I was on the dune and I done it with the new sports camera itself! The video above was shot in the 60fps in 720p mode and it made good quality despite being in a hard shell case made of plastic, covered in sand & in mid session.
Also, the many photos which you can see on the blog that I've taken and made creative commons for re-use can be taken on this very 'small but mighty' sports camera too! It's more of a fun toy than a sophisticated camera!
On this part of the post in particular, I'd like to remind you that I'm an independent blogger and for this camera I have not personally been asked or requested to use this camera for the purposes of advertising or publicity. I bought this camera for my personal use and I genuinely believe this is the 'one toy in the box' that you need with you wherever you go! Plus, when you buy this camera you don't get a HD camera with a protective shell & a power lead with the instruction manual in a box; You get whole array of stands, switch support, ribbon, tape, adaptor for computer transfer, plug charger, camera lens wipe and much more packed in the little box of fun! Did I mention this camera supports WiFi connectivity? Yeah, because uploading sports clips to the Internet became a whole lot easier; forget the use and cost of cyber cafes, mobile data where you can just upload over a WiFi connection!
How much will it cost & how can I buy it?
The link to buy the camera will be included here, the camera cost me £45 ($68 rounded to the nearest dollar as of 6th September 2015) plus shipping to the UK (which will vary depending on location) that took an extra £5 to get to me.
This camera may vary in cost depending on which colour you want to buy, the 3 prices for the 6 available colours (White, Black, Blue, Pink, Yellow & Gold) and the prices varied from £45 to £47 (as of 7th September 2015).
It's important to note that the maximum data memory card that this camera will accept is only 32GB so if you have a 64 or 128 gigabyte SD card, they will not be compatible. Since I believe this is the camera that may suit your needs (It certainly fitted my needs and ticked all my boxes) Let it be your camera by clicking on the link below!
Maybe in the future when this blog does get a decent following and/or money starts to come in, I may start a competition where a new and boxed version of this camera can be won, but this is still an idea.
Next time on the blog!
Thanks again for always reading my latest blog post, also a warm welcome to those who I've recently recruited via my Facebook advertising campaign for the blog and the Sandboarding Nation Facebook page! Please like the Facebook page | -0.279668 | -0.64402 | -0.87653 | -1.564339 | [
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Q: jQuery automatically register event handler(s) to user actions on elements that are added to DOM by Ajax response For ajax web application that has many screens and navigations, to attach event handlers for div or links or buttons, we can code like :
//Using $.on inside Ajax success handler
$("#container").on("click", "#selector", function(event){
});
*
*This approach will NOT work if container doesn't exists in the DOM. To make it work, will have to use document or body as the container, the performance may not be good.
*There could be many lines of code in Ajax success handler. To organize better, can move the code to a function and call that function in Ajax success handler. But we have to make many register event functions for all permutations and combinations.
*Register functions code cluttering.
*If event handler was already registered, registering again will cause two even handlers. So we have to un-register and register (OR attach only if not attached already) - Not sure about performance problem.
Any alternatives ?
I am thinking of following :
*
*Maintain a map of container, target, and click event handler in one place for a module.
*In ajaxComplete global event handler, if xhr.responseHTML has the container, attach event handler to target elements (attach only if not attached already).
$(document).ajaxComplete(function(e, xhr, settings){
for(ind in clickEventListeners){eventlistner = clickEventListeners[ind];
if($(eventlistner.container,xhr.responseHTML).length > 0){
$(eventlistner.target).on("click",function(){
eventlistner.processor(this);
});
}
}
});
Pros : All event handlers documented in one place for a module. No code cluttering in for each ajax success handler.
Cons : I am not sure if any.
Please advise if any suggestions.
A: Updated
Binding an event to an element that will be dynamically added requires placing the listener on the document, not the element as of version 1.9+. From Jquerys api you can find this line:
"Event handlers are bound only to the currently selected elements; they must exist on the page at the time your code makes the call to .on()."
Therefor binding the event to the document and placing the selector afterwards will allow this listener to actually be recognized.
$(document).delegate( "#selector", "click",
or
$(document).on( "click", "#selector",
Example: http://jsfiddle.net/2HA7d/
In previous Jquery releases the live() function could have been used which actually placed the listener to the document allowing this to function exactly as you would think:
$("#selector").live("click",
Example: http://jsfiddle.net/q3jYB/
The second example functions the same as the first example.
As the element does not exist yet, javascript is unable to add an event listener for the element you are looking for. So, when trying to add a listener for dynamically added elements and you are using a newer jquery version (1.9+) and using on() or delegate(), add your event listener to the document as seen in the first Fiddle provided.
Edit:
as Will I AM stated in the comments, adding the event listener to the container if possible is also a very viable option and may improve performance
Sources:
https://api.jquery.com/on/
http://jquery.com/upgrade-guide/1.9/
How does jQuery .live() work?
Hope this helps.
A: I was in similar situation like you, try this, this works great on my end!
*
*First in master file I bind event handler like this:
$('body').bind( 'gridloaded', function(e,f) { my logic } );
*In ajax files that are dynamically populating my DOM tree at the end I add trigger where needed and element id I'm on, like this:
$('body').trigger('gridloaded', $(this).attr('id') );
onClickButton: function(){
$("body").trigger("gridloaded", $(this).attr('id'))
}
I'm loving this approach because it's clean: no matter how long the ajax call takes it will always trigger only one event at the right time.
A: Binding an event handler to document or body might not be a good idea if its already present in DOM.
But if elements are generated dynamically (like | -1.076134 | -0.994983 | 0.314869 | 0.116146 | [
-1.0049112634246047,
-1.1473575080404756
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-0.6019400171689522,
-1.3880259643639186
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0.6382395514901934,
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A Modest Proposal (Part One–The Need and The Plan)
Posted on December 3, 2011 by Eric Kouns
The New Testament book of James is all about the relationship between faith and works. The author was the brother of our Lord and the first 'pastor' of the church in Jerusalem. An exceptionally wise man, it was James who, as moderator of the "Jerusalem Council" (Acts 15), brought forward a proposal that averted a rift between leaders of the new Christian movement which could have permanently damaged the church from its infancy.
In the "open letter" which bears his name, James made it clear that true faith always expresses itself in good works. What we believe has to affect the way we behave or there is reason to question the genuineness of our belief. He said it this way in chapter 2, verses 14-17.
What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
It is in the spirit of "Pastor James," then, that I have the temerity to bring forward a proposal to address a potentially damaging rift between our faith and our works in the ACNA.
We have before us a challenge from the Archbishop to plant 1000 new Anglican churches during his five-year term as leader of the denomination. When I was ordained a priest last May, I was commissioned to plant one of those churches. Now, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I certainly don't claim to have the wisdom of James. But it seems to me there is something missing from this equation, namely the part that enables the progression from vision to reality.
When I was asked recently how the effort to plant a church in Grandview Heights was progressing, I replied, "We have everything we need for this new church… except money, people, and a place to meet. Oh, and I live thirty miles away, have been unemployed for three years, and have no means to relocate to the community wherein we hope to plant the church." That attempt to couch my response in humor, as lame as it was, nevertheless illustrates the dilemma we face in ACNA. There is no strategic plan in place to provide the resources necessary to turn the Archbishop's challenge into reality. At least, if there is, I'm not aware of it.
I'm growing a bit weary of good-hearted people wishing me well and assuring me of their support for my endeavors. (Remember, I told you that sooner or later I would annoy you. Perhaps it's today.) Frankly, it has begun to remind me of the fellow James described in the passage above. You know, the guy who looked at the naked and hungry man and said to him, "Go in peace; be warmed and fed." Nice sentiment but practically useless. That's where my proposal comes in. I believe this could benefit the entire ACNA, but to make my point here, I will frame it in terms of my own diocese, the Anglican Diocese of the Great Lakes.
I propose that every parish in the diocese set aside ten percent of its gross revenues each year for the next several years and deposit those funds in an account, administered by the office of the Bishop and exclusively for the purpose of financing church plants in the diocese.
Those funds would then be disbursed according to a schedule which would underwrite 100% of the new church's costs for the first year of its existence, two-thirds in the second year, and one-third in the third. The goal would be self-sufficiency, or something close to it, for the new church by the third anniversary of its launch.
I can't imagine there is any parish in the diocese that is living so close to the edge of insolvency that trimming 10% of its budget for the purpose of supporting church planting would drive it over the brink.
I will address this matter more fully in my next post. (If I still have any readers, that is.)
This entry was posted in ACNA, mission and evangelism, stewardship, vision and tagged funding for | 1.26875 | -0.171518 | 1.049111 | 0.269627 | [
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Pardon the trite pun. Also, this might not be as interesting as can be, but keeping notes like this will hopefully help me on those comprehensive exams.
I've not read all the books on my list that take place in the city yet, but I'm almost to that point. I've been thinking a lot about the class I took in 2011 about the American City (which was taught by a member of my committee). That course focused a lot on theories of spacial orientation and on 19th Century American Lit. We read How the Other Half Lives and Sister Carrie, as well as several works that made it onto my list–Twenty Years at Hull-House and The House of Mirth.
One aspect of the city in literature that I think is crucial is that it ties the plot to the confines of a specific place. While some works of American literature focus on the vastness of rural areas in a way that can obscure the specificity of location, often when a text takes place in a city it features places and landmarks that are real and with which the reader may have experience. That's why, for example, we have literary tours of Holden Caulfield's New York.
In this way, the city posed an important figure for naturalist and determinist writers, such as Theodore Dreiser, because as an environment it was rich with opportunities for describing the urban landscape and people's interactions with it and each other. Sister Carrie opens with pages and pages of descriptions of Chicago and it is in this urban setting that Carrie is seduced not only by men but by the things of the city. (Carrie Bradshaw has to be named after Sister Carrie, right? Please? Google saves the day.) Similarly, in The House of Mirth, Edith Wharton focuses initially only on the richest people in New York City, detailing urban life through nights at the opera and tableau vivants. When the protagonist, Lily Bart falls into poverty, however, the reader sees, for the first time, the working class. Lily goes from being an object of beauty who is looked upon and circulated in the marriage market to being a worker who creates beautiful objects (hats) and looks but is not seen. The novel works beautifully as an example to teach Marxist and proto-feminist analysis. The city, however, functions as a setting for the consumption of goods but without the sharp attention to the way that environment determines/influences behaviors and "fates" found in Sister Carrie.
Likewise, in The Great Gatsby, the city is the playground where the rich go to make money, to drink, and to have their affairs. In between their safe Long Island egg and the fast and loose city is a wasteland of the ash of industrial waste. It's significant that the woman Tom keeps and Daisy kills lives in this ash. The rich are hollow and careless and ultimately the poor pay for it. The Bonfire of the Vanities riffs on this more than a little, but in Tom Wolfe's novel the Valley of Ash is the Bronx, the only part of the city that is really described in specific detail. While Sherman McCoy and his lot live in lavish pre-war apartments on Park Avenue (omg that view…), the Bronx is described as a jungle. (That seems terribly racist, and it's supposed to be, as Sherman McCoy and his mistress Maria jump to conclusions about the young black men they encounter in a way that is chillingly similar to current everyday interracial encounters and the Trayvon Martin case.) In The Bonfire of the Vanities, the city is represented less by landmarks than it is by institutions, namely Wall Street (which is a landmark, I realize, but it's bigger than that), the justice system, and the press.
On the other hand, the city also functions as a setting that enables anonymity in a way that benefits certain people and characters. Nella Larsen's Passing opens with a scene in which the main character takes a break for a cup of tea in a restaurant she would not be allowed to dine in if she weren't passing as white. In that novel and, to a lesser degree in Quicksand, the crowds of the city allow for greater latitude in racial and gendered identities in a way that is not possible in rural contexts or small town where people know more about those around them. In this way, the city also functions as an escape or a freeing space. In that vein, the city works as the backdrop for many a rags to rich | 1.630344 | 0.954116 | 1.094763 | 0.709259 | [
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Noreen Renier re-creates the method she used to lead Williston police to this water-filled limestone quarry, where they found the body of Norman Lewis, who had been missing for two years.
WILLISTON - Police had run out of leads in their two-year search for Norman Lewis. They had done everything they could to locate the 76-year-old man who disappeared with his truck, but left everything else, including his wallet, behind in April 1994.
The lack of leads was one reason why Investigator Brian Hewitt was willing to listen to a psychic's opinion on what might have happened. He was attending a police conference in Orlando when psychic Noreen Renier gave a demonstration.
Hewitt realized police had no leads left to follow and mentioned Renier to the Lewis family. Figuring that police had done about all they could Joe Lewis paid Renier's $650 fee.
In less than an hour, Renier - who had never been to Williston and was working from her Orlando home - told police she had a strong sense that Lewis would be found a few miles from his home in a water-filled area near railroad tracks.
That information led divers to a lime rock pit outside Williston, but then-police Chief Olin Slaughter was puzzled because there were no railroad tracks visible. While divers were searching in the pit, nearby workers uncovered something else - an abandoned railroad track. Hours later, Lewis' body was found inside his truck at the bottom of the pit.
"I don't think we ever would have found him (Lewis) without her help," Slaughter said. Using psychics is not something new for police, but it is often used as a last resort in cases that appear unsolvable, according to Professor Ron Akres, director of the University of Florida Center for Studies in Criminology and Law.
"The track record for psychics is about chance," Akres said. "The stories that come out about psychics in police work are the successful ones. If you keep doing something over and over, eventually it will hit and that is what happens in those cases."
Renier said one of the frustrating aspects of her work is calculating how often what she describes as her mental images of a victim or suspect are accurate.
"Most of the time, the police will take what I give them and then I never hear anything again unless it's a big case like with Mr. Lewis," Renier said.
Police are interested in knowing more about how psychics work. Renier has been invited to lecture at several departments in Florida, including the Sarasota Police Department, as well as at the FBI National Academy in Quantico, Virginia. However, no major research studies have been done on psychics assisting police.
"That's because what they do is non-verifiable," Akres said. "You can never prove something doesn't exist, so then the question is what does it take to prove that psychic powers do exist? I'm not denying that some people may be psychic, but I wouldn't use one."
Renier, 60, is unfazed by skeptics. She anticipated running into lots of them when she moved to Williston several months ago. Until last fall, Renier had never been to the Levy County community. The drive into town from Gainesville along State Road 121 is what convinced her to relocate.
"It was just so beautiful and so peaceful," Renier said.
Now living in a small, three-bedroom home off State Road 121 with her cats and two dogs, Renier has maintained a sense of humor about her unusual occupation.
"I knew you would call. That's why I left the answering machine on," Renier's voice says on her answering machine. Renier has told a few of her close friends about her occupation but it is not something she uses to open conversations.
"I understand the skeptics and I used to be one - everyone should have some skepticism," Renier said. "I used to think of psychics as someone with a big nose and a wart."
The first psychic Renier met "didn't even have a pimple." Renier was working at an Orlando hotel 20 years ago when that psychic rented a room for a demonstration.
From that encounter, Renier said she began exploring her own mental abilities and discovered psychometry - picking up information from an inanimate object.
Psychometry, she says, is what she used to determine where Lewis would | 0.356546 | 0.782216 | 0.328818 | -0.283164 | [
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Newland is a tiny village that sits on the banks of the North Toe River in the Blue Ridge Mountains of northwestern North Carolina. Located in Avery County in what is known as "High Country," this area is comprised mostly of small towns of less than 1,000 permanent residents, yet it is one of the most desirable tourist destinations in the southeastern United States. Newland is near many of the most popular North Carolina attractions such as Grandfather Mountain, Linville Falls and Linville Gorge, the Tweetsie Railroad and the Pisgah National Forest. It's also in the center of ski country, including Sugar Mountain, North Carolina's largest ski resort. Sugar Mountain boasts a 1200-foot vertical and has 20 trails and 8 lifts spread out over 115 acres. Besides downhill skiing, there are trails for snowboarding and snowshoeing, and a special tubing park. Newland offers many other recreational opportunities, as well, with 9 hiking trails, 6 waterfalls, whitewater rafting, horseback riding, fishing and golf. Avery County is host to the Highland Games and Gathering of the Scottish Clans each year and Newland village is near other mountain resort towns such as Banner Elk and Beech Mountain.
The closest airports in the area are the Tri Cities Regional Tn Va airport (TRI) located about 37 miles northwest of Newland in Bristol Johnson Kingsport, Tennessee, the Hickory Regional airport (HKY) located approximately 38 miles southeast of Newland in Hickory, North Carolina, the Wilkes County airport (UKF) located roughly 47 miles east of Newland in North Wilkesboro, North Carolina, the Greeneville Greene County Municipal airport (GCY) located around 50 miles west of Newland in Greeneville, Tennessee, the Asheville Regional airport (AVL) located about 56 miles southwest of Newland in Asheville, North Carolina, and finally the Shelby Municipal airport (EHO) located approximately 60 miles south of Newland in Shelby, North Carolina.
Ghost Town in the Sky Maggie Valley NC 76.5 mi.
Paramount's Carowinds Charlotte NC 85.1 mi.
Cherokee Fun Park Cherokee NC 88.6 mi.
Santa's Land Cherokee NC 88.6 mi.
Jeepers Concord NC 89.0 mi.
Paramount's Carowinds-Water Works Pineville NC 90.5 mi.
Emerald Pointe Water Park Greensboro NC 119.3 mi.
Village of Sugar Mountain Golf Course Banner Elk NC 5.9 mi.
Hawksnest Golf & Ski Resort Seven Devils NC 7.0 mi.
Tillery Tradition Country Club Mount Gilead NC 12.0 mi.
Grassy Creek Golf & Country Club Spruce Pine NC 14.3 mi.
Boone Golf Club Boone NC 16.8 mi.
Willow Creek Golf Course Boone NC 16.8 mi.
Elizabethton Municipal Golf Course Elizabethton TN 23.5 mi.
Mount Mitchell Golf Club Burnsville NC 23.7 mi.
Buffalo Valley Golf Course Unicoi TN 24.1 mi.
Country Acres Golf Club Lenoir NC 25.4 mi.
Lenoir Golf Course Lenoir NC 25.4 mi.
Quaker Meadows Golf Club Morganton NC 25.5 mi.
Green Oaks Golf Club Concord NC 26.6 mi.
Rocky River Golf Club at Concord Concord NC 26.6 mi.
Roan Valley Golf Estates Mountain City TN 27.4 mi.
Silver Creek Plantation Morganton NC 27.7 mi.
Magnolia Golf Club Magnolia NC 28.6 mi.
Mountain Aire Golf Club West Jefferson NC 29.8 mi.
Hawksnest Golf & Ski Resort Seven Devils NC 7.1 mi.
Ski Wolf Laurel Mars Hill NC 39.2 mi.
Cataloochee Maggie Valley NC 76.5 mi. | -0.577573 | 0.464603 | -1.197999 | -1.449228 | [
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Home Entertainment Film & TV Taste of Taiwan II: Timelapse With Love
Taste of Taiwan II: Timelapse With Love
By Vision Times Staff
Photographers Henrik Matzen and Jonas Hoholt have released the hyper-lapse film 'A Taste of Taiwan II,' and it's even more vibrant than the first. (Image: YouTube/Screenshot)
Photographers Henrik Matzen and Jonas Hoholt have released the hyper-lapse film A Taste of Taiwan II, and it's even more vibrant than the first. Their love of Taiwan — the heart of Asia — is obvious; whether it's scenes of nature or cityscape, the pair capture the spirit of Taiwan beautifully.
"A Taste of Taiwan II is made with love and passion throughout one year of Henrik traveling back and forth several times between Denmark and Taiwan to shoot, and finally peaking in April 2019 when Jonas went to Taiwan for the first time together with Henrik for 10 days to shoot the final scenes together," the team said.
Photographers Henrik Matzen and Jonas Hoholt have released the hyper-lapse film A Taste of Taiwan II, and it's even more vibrant than the first. (Image: YouTube/Screenshot)
Henrik is from Denmark. For him, Taiwan was love at first sight — the country felt like home the moment he stepped into what was then Chiang Kai Shek Airport. That was 13 years ago in 2005, and he's kept going back for more.
"It is very hard to describe, but I just felt like I had been here before… Only Taiwan somehow makes me feel calm and relaxed," said Henrik in an interview with My Kaohsiung. "Except having a passion for photography, you also need extreme patience to endure," he says about creating time-lapse photography.
For A Taste of Taiwan II, Henrik shot more than 100,000 photos from all over Taiwan during a period of one year, then picked out around 25,000 of the best in their original full-length sequences. The film's background music was specially tailored by composer Joona Lätti. Finally, Jonas edited and perfected everything post-production.
For A Taste of Taiwan II, Henrik shot more than 100,000 photos from all over Taiwan during a period of one year. (Image: YouTube/Screenshot)
A gift for Taiwan
"Taiwan is my second home," says Henrik with a smile — a place with many unforgettable memories."A few years ago, two police officers chased me in Kaohsiung. They asked me not to run. I thought: 'God, have I done something wrong?' After they caught up with me, they said with a smile: 'Welcome to Kaohsiung, welcome to Taiwan,'" he recalls.
"Welcome home" has become a greeting used often by his Taiwanese friends. Henrik says the film series is his gift of love for Taiwan. The first Taste of Taiwan was published on Facebook at the end of May 2018 and quickly gained popularity. The team had spent three months shooting around 70,000 photos. What they captured highlighted the beauty and vibrancy of several tourist locations, as well as some hideaways; they shed new light on scenes that many locals had come to take for granted. "Going up the mountain, I felt that I might not be able to make it," said Henrik, recalling his experience of shooting from high altitude.
Henrik says the film series is his gift of love for Taiwan. (Image: YouTube/Screenshot)
In just 30 seconds of time-lapse, the scene drifts from Sun Moon Lake to Lianchitan, Xiangshan to Foguang Mountain, Kaohsiung Port to Taipei Nangang, from dawn to dusk — each segment took hours of patience to capture, and a lot of thought went into each angle of light or dark.
"The film is beautiful; thank you for everything you've done for Taiwan," commented a local Taiwanese about the film. "Thank you very much for showing me my hometown — the most beautiful place in the world — and also to the world's people through the film," said another. "Memories reverberate" and "Suddenly missing Taiwan" were some comments made by international visitors to Taiwan.
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HomeSportsColumnsShipping Kessel the right move for the Pens
Shipping Kessel the right move for the Pens
July 2, 2019 The Duquesne Duke Columns, Sports Comments Off on Shipping Kessel the right move for the Pens
AP Photo | Alex Galchenyuk, pictured with the Arizona Coyotes, is the key returning piece in the Penguins' Phil Kessel trade. Galchenyuk, a 25-year-old winger, scored 19 goals and 41 points with the Coyotes in 2018-19.
AP Photo | Alex Galchenyuk, pictured with the Arizona Coyotes, is the key returning piece in the Penguins' Phil Kessel trade. Galchenyuk, a 25-year-old winger, scored 19 goals and 41 points with the Coyotes in 2018-19.
Jacob Hebda | Staff Writer
Following the Penguins' hasty exit from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Pittsburgh general manager Jim Rutherford hinted that some big-time changes may be in store.
It didn't take long for hockey enthusiasts to speculate who Rutherford was alluding to — Phil Kessel.
The right winger, who won two Stanley Cups in his four years with the Penguins, was widely thought to be on the trading block. Now, those rumors have come to fruition.
Kessel, who joined the Penguins in 2015 via a trade with the Toronto Maple Leafs, is now headed west to join the Arizona Coyotes. He will be reunited with former Pittsburgh assistant coach Rick Tocchet, now head coach of the Coyotes.
It wasn't a straightforward path to Glendale, though. Back in May, Rutherford allegedly attempted to send Kessel to the Minnesota Wild, but the right winger rejected the move per his no-trade clause.
It seemed as though Kessel would remain a member of the Penguins, and Rutherford even said as much in recent weeks. Rutherford admitted he had a deal in place with Minnesota, but that Kessel denied it.
However, Rutherford eventually found a suitor in Arizona. Kessel was clearly okay with joining the Coyotes, perhaps thanks to his well-documented warm relationship with Tocchet.
Whatever Kessel's reason for approving the decision was, the transaction still marks the end of an iconic era for the Penguins. Kessel was essential to back-to-back championships.
In every year with Pittsburgh, he played all 82 games of the regular season. He scored at least 20 goals every year. He notched 40 assists or more in all but one year. In the two Cup runs, he posted 18 goals and 27 assists.
With that being said, it was time for Kessel to go. He is still a talented player, but there was a stale feeling surrounding the Penguins, and him especially, following their last two playoff disappointments.
Kessel went the month of February without scoring a goal. He had a plus-minus of minus-19 for the year. His defensive hustle was an area of concern. His relationships with Rutherford, and especially head coach Mike Sullivan, have been shaky at best.
Furthermore, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Kris Letang are edging toward the end of their respective primes. Kessel is, too. Keeping an aging core together could have spelled trouble for the Penguins. Older stars are expensive, and their production can decline steeply without much warning.
It was smart of Rutherford to ship Kessel out of town. He made it clear that as valuable as Kessel has been, the Penguins can't maintain roster consistency if they want to win another Cup soon.
What makes the decision even better is the key player Rutherford got in return — Alex Galchenyuk.
Galchenyuk, the former third-overall pick in the NHL Draft, is a very "Penguins-esque" player, if you will. He's a skilled forward with sizable potential and solid speed.
However, after a 30-goal season in 2015-16, Galchenyuk hasn't scored even 20 in any of the ensuing three seasons. He has, | 0.120962 | 0.087452 | -0.70153 | -0.629146 | [
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K1 Galeriensonntag am 27. Januar
Posts > Rosalind Fox Solomon to receive ICP Infinity Award
Rosalind Fox Solomon to receive ICP Infinity Award
This Year the International Center of Photography honours Artist Rosalind Fox Solomon with the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 35th annual ICP Infinity Awards on the evening of Tuesday, April 2nd.
Rosalind Fox Solomon was born in 1930 in Highland Park, Illinois and currently lives in New York City. She is celebrated for her portraits and her understanding of human suffering, ritual, survival and struggle, which is repeatedly visible in her work. The photographs move back and forth between the personal and the universal. Her talent lies in her ability to interpret and photograph both the social elements of the places she travels to and the obsessions and fears that travel with her.
Rosalind Fox Solomon has been associated with the Sander family for decades. Already in 1978, Gerd Sander showed her work in his Washington gallery. She lived in Washington DC for a period in time around 1977, while her husband was an Administrator of the General Services Administration. She photographed artists and politicians there, including Louise Nevelson, Eva Le Gallienne, William Christenberry and Tony Smith.
Solomon sees photography as a medium and not just as an art form: object and content play an equal role. The gallery Julian Sander picks up on this essential aspect of her work by presenting the photographs as a space-consuming installation, which makes the works tangible in their front and back.
Her series Carnival 1980, which is a compelling example of her humanistic-documentary work as well as a visual manifestation of her seen reality with all its consequences, was shown by Gallery Julian Sander in a solo Exhibition in 2018.
She is the recipient of a Guggenheim Foundation Award, a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship, and grants from the American Institute of Indian Studies from 1981 to 1984. Fox Solomon has had residencies at the Banff Center, Blue Mountain Center, the MacDowell Colony, and the Corporation of Yaddo. Bruce Silverstein represents Fox Solomon in New York, where she has had four solo gallery exhibitions. Her work is in the collections of more than 50 museums around the world, including the Bibliothèque Nationale de France, Paris; George Eastman House, Rochester; Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York; Museo de Arte de Lima; Museum of Fine Arts, Boston; Museum of Modern Art, New York; National Gallery of Art, Washington; National Gallery of Canada, Ontario; Photographische Sammlung, Cologne; San Francisco Museum of Modern Art; Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam; and the Victoria and Albert Museum, London.
visit: ICP Rosalind Fox Solomon
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Die Galerie Julian Sander bleibt vom 12. August bis zum 6. September geschlossen. Wir eröffnen die Saison am Freitag, den 6. September mit unserer Jubiläumsausstellung zu DC Open: John Cohen…
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Wir freuen uns, dieses Jahr an der ersten K1 Sonntagsveranstaltung teilzunehmen. Wir möchten Sie ganz herzlich dazu einladen, die Gelegenheit zu nutzen und unsere aktuelle Ausstellung Alfredo Srur: Retrospective zu besuchen! Die Galerie ist…
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] | 1,334,859 | 0 | CommonCrawl | 0 | 3 |
Teacher Advocate
A place for educators and parents to share ideas –
Mistakes are Good! by Cindy Donaldson
We Need Change Now!
How Important is Education?
Do We Teach Important Information?
Boy's Brain Drain
Madeline Levine, Psychologist States…
New Educational Trends
Even Teachers Burn Out! Brain Drain!
The Busy Educator
Schools as Factories of Students
Self-Initiated Cognitive Activity by Nicholas Meier
Support Change Now?
The Truth About Boys and Girls
Encouragement for All!
For All Educators and Parents, too!
What Do We Teach Our Children?
Inspiring Teacher Interviews!
Written in 2013…How to Help Boys Succeed…
Watch for upcoming release of my book "Seven Steps to Help Boys Love School"
Urban School Reform Needs HELP NOW!
SCHOOL IS B A C K! YIKES?
How is YOUR Attitude?
Children and Their Brain Memory
"Raising Creative Thinkers"…NOW!
Amazon Reviews of "7 Steps to Help Boys Love School"..5 stars!
Busy Educator :)
CAN'T WE ALL LOVE?
CHECK OUT THIS LINK!
What Can Animals Teach Us? Kindness!
Classroom Practices Inventory
Project-Based Learning Engages All!
Earlier Literacy Skills Are Easy!
ED FOUNDATION
Graduation Rate Still Has Gaps!
Leadership is Key!
Neuroscience and Education
Learning Opportunities!
One Size Does Not Fit All!
Parent's Voice
Parent/teacher relationships
Special Quote by Carl Jung
Special Ways to Write!
We Need More Music for Brains!
"So many cuts to music education are particularly ironic given the growing body of research that underscores how music engages many of same areas of the brain involved in language processing, memory, and other critical thinking skills essential for academic success. Music also appears to benefit kids socially and emotionally." (GreatSchools.org)
Here are seven areas where studies have shown the benefits of music to kids' education and development:
Multiple studies indicate that the brain processes music and language in similar ways, and that music training benefits the development of a variety of language-related skills, from vocabulary building to phoneme processing. The Neurosciences Institute reports that its research has "revealed a significant degree of overlap between music and language processing," and in a 2005 study, researchers at Stanford University found that mastering a musical instrument improves the way the human brain processes parts of spoken language. The findings suggested that students who are struggling with language and reading skills could especially benefit from musical training.
The benefits of music training appear to extend to memory, too. A study by researchers at The Chinese University of Hong Kong found that children with musical training showed better verbal memory than their peers. "When these children were followed up after a year," the study's authors wrote, "those who had begun or continued music training demonstrated significant verbal memory improvement." In other words, memorizing music pieces correlated with improvements in non-musical memory, too. The enhancement of working memory in young adults via music training was further validated in a 2018 study by researchers at York University.
The correlation may stem from particular ways that music "challenges" young minds. Takako Fujioka, a scientist at the Rotman Research Institute in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and co-author of a study that found musically trained children showed greater improvement on memory tests throughout the course of a year than their non-musically trained peers, explains that playing music "requires the brain to solve the problems of how to allocate attention and memory toward complex tasks."
If you've ever tried to read even a simple piece of music — or bang a drum in time to a beat, you know that music requires you to preform mathematical processes (like division) on the fly. But research has also shown a link between music education and success in school math. A study by The Royal Conservatory of Music in Canada, for example, concentrated on the effects of arts education on elementary school students, and found that students in the arts program "scored significantly higher on mathematical tests of computation and estimation" than did students in a control group.
Dr. Frank Wilson, a neurologist and an authority | 0.619866 | 1.482352 | 2.565783 | 0.246215 | [
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<?php
class ControllerExtensionPaymentCardConnect extends Controller {
private $error = array();
public function index() {
$this->load->model('setting/setting');
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$this->load->language('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$this->document->setTitle($this->language->get('heading_title'));
if (($this->request->server['REQUEST_METHOD'] == 'POST') && $this->validate()) {
$this->model_setting_setting->editSetting('payment_cardconnect', $this->request->post);
$this->session->data['success'] = $this->language->get('text_success');
$this->response->redirect($this->url->link('marketplace/extension', 'user_token=' . $this->session->data['user_token'] . '&type=payment', true));
}
$data['breadcrumbs'] = array();
$data['breadcrumbs'][] = array(
'text' => $this->language->get('text_home'),
'href' => $this->url->link('common/dashboard', 'user_token=' . $this->session->data['user_token'], true)
);
$data['breadcrumbs'][] = array(
'text' => $this->language->get('text_extension'),
'href' => $this->url->link('marketplace/extension', 'user_token=' . $this->session->data['user_token'] . '&type=payment', true)
);
$data['breadcrumbs'][] = array(
'text' => $this->language->get('heading_title'),
'href' => $this->url->link('extension/payment/cardconnect', 'user_token=' . $this->session->data['user_token'], true)
);
$data['action'] = $this->url->link('extension/payment/cardconnect', 'user_token=' . $this->session->data['user_token'], true);
$data['cancel'] = $this->url->link('marketplace/extension', 'user_token=' . $this->session->data['user_token'] . '&type=payment', true);
if (isset($this->request->post['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'])) {
$data['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'] = $this->request->post['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'];
} else {
$data['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'] = $this->config->get('payment_cardconnect_merchant_id');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_api_username'])) {
$data['cardconnect_api_username'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_api_username'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_api_username'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_api_username');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_api_password'])) {
$data['cardconnect_api_password'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_api_password'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_api_password'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_api_password');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_token'])) {
$data['cardconnect_token'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_token'];
} elseif ($this->config->has('cardconnect_token')) {
$data['cardconnect_token'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_token');
} else {
$data['cardconnect_token'] = md5(time());
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_transaction'])) {
$data['cardconnect | -1.963684 | -1.871496 | -1.920828 | -0.568908 | [
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] | [
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] | 1,024 | [
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] | 1,334,872 | 0 | Github | -1 | -1 |
_transaction'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_transaction'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_transaction'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_transaction');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_site'])) {
$data['cardconnect_site'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_site'];
} elseif ($this->config->has('cardconnect_site')) {
$data['cardconnect_site'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_site');
} else {
$data['cardconnect_site'] = 'fts';
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_environment'])) {
$data['cardconnect_environment'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_environment'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_environment'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_environment');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_store_cards'])) {
$data['cardconnect_store_cards'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_store_cards'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_store_cards'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_store_cards');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_echeck'])) {
$data['cardconnect_echeck'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_echeck'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_echeck'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_echeck');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_total'])) {
$data['cardconnect_total'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_total'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_total'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_total');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_geo_zone'])) {
$data['cardconnect_geo_zone'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_geo_zone'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_geo_zone'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_geo_zone');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_status'])) {
$data['cardconnect_status'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_status'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_status'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_status');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_logging'])) {
$data['cardconnect_logging'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_logging'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_logging'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_logging');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_sort_order'])) {
$data['cardconnect_sort_order'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_sort_order'];
} else {
$data['cardconnect_sort_order'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_sort_order');
}
$data['cardconnect_cron_url'] = HTTPS_CATALOG . 'index.php?route=extension/payment/cardconnect/cron&token=' . $data['cardconnect_token'];
if ($this->config->get('cardconnect_cron_time')) {
$data['cardconnect_cron_time'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'), strtotime($this->config->get('cardconnect_cron_time')));
} else {
$data['cardconnect_cron_time'] = $this->language->get('text_no_cron_time');
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_order_status | -2.484161 | -2.075627 | -2.390032 | -1.07333 | [
-2.6211282696431417,
-2.3471931838433897
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-2.2618527120430616,
-1.8894019671306401
] | [
-2.5066993199863004,
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4882
] | 1,334,872 | 1,024 | Github | -1 | -1 |
_id_pending'])) {
$data['cardconnect_order_status_id_pending'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_order_status_id_pending'];
} elseif ($this->config->has('cardconnect_order_status_id_pending')) {
$data['cardconnect_order_status_id_pending'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_order_status_id_pending');
} else {
$data['cardconnect_order_status_id_pending'] = '1';
}
if (isset($this->request->post['cardconnect_order_status_id_processing'])) {
$data['cardconnect_order_status_id_processing'] = $this->request->post['cardconnect_order_status_id_processing'];
} elseif ($this->config->has('cardconnect_order_status_id_processing')) {
$data['cardconnect_order_status_id_processing'] = $this->config->get('cardconnect_order_status_id_processing');
} else {
$data['cardconnect_order_status_id_processing'] = '2';
}
if (isset($this->error['warning'])) {
$data['error_warning'] = $this->error['warning'];
} else {
$data['error_warning'] = '';
}
if (isset($this->session->data['success'])) {
$data['success'] = $this->session->data['success'];
unset($this->session->data['success']);
} else {
$data['success'] = '';
}
if (isset($this->error['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'])) {
$data['error_payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'] = $this->error['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'];
} else {
$data['error_payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'] = '';
}
if (isset($this->error['cardconnect_api_username'])) {
$data['error_cardconnect_api_username'] = $this->error['cardconnect_api_username'];
} else {
$data['error_cardconnect_api_username'] = '';
}
if (isset($this->error['cardconnect_api_password'])) {
$data['error_cardconnect_api_password'] = $this->error['cardconnect_api_password'];
} else {
$data['error_cardconnect_api_password'] = '';
}
if (isset($this->error['cardconnect_token'])) {
$data['error_cardconnect_token'] = $this->error['cardconnect_token'];
} else {
$data['error_cardconnect_token'] = '';
}
if (isset($this->error['cardconnect_site'])) {
$data['error_cardconnect_site'] = $this->error['cardconnect_site'];
} else {
$data['error_cardconnect_site'] = '';
}
$this->load->model('localisation/order_status');
$data['order_statuses'] = $this->model_localisation_order_status->getOrderStatuses();
$this->load->model('localisation/geo_zone');
$data['geo_zones'] = $this->model_localisation_geo_zone->getGeoZones();
$data['user_token'] = $this->session->data['user_token'];
$data['header'] = $this->load->controller('common/header');
$data['column_left'] = $this->load->controller('common/column_left');
$data['footer'] = $this->load->controller('common/footer');
$this->response->setOutput($this->load->view('extension/payment/cardconnect', $data | -2.467725 | -2.362128 | -2.450902 | -1.249573 | [
-2.6540004799391124,
-2.2814487632514493
] | [
-2.4480780844992722,
-2.276177740693539
] | [
-2.57771406869706,
-2.324089966158633
] | [
-1.2079511849182785,
-1.2911950335023707
] | 1,024 | [
512,
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395,
1272
] | 1,334,872 | 2,048 | Github | -1 | -1 |
));
}
public function install() {
if ($this->user->hasPermission('modify', 'marketplace/extension')) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->install();
}
}
public function uninstall() {
if ($this->user->hasPermission('modify', 'marketplace/extension')) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->uninstall();
}
}
public function order() {
if ($this->config->get('cardconnect_status')) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$order_id = $this->request->get['order_id'];
$cardconnect_order = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getOrder($this->request->get['order_id']);
if ($cardconnect_order) {
$this->load->language('extension/payment/cardconnect');
if ($cardconnect_order['payment_method'] == 'card') {
$cardconnect_order['payment_method'] = $this->language->get('text_card');
} else {
$cardconnect_order['payment_method'] = $this->language->get('text_echeck');
}
$cardconnect_order['total_formatted'] = $this->currency->format($cardconnect_order['total'], $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
$cardconnect_order['total_captured'] = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getTotalCaptured($cardconnect_order['cardconnect_order_id']);
$cardconnect_order['total_captured_formatted'] = $this->currency->format($cardconnect_order['total_captured'], $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
foreach($cardconnect_order['transactions'] as &$transaction) {
switch ($transaction['type']) {
case 'payment':
$transaction['type'] = 'Payment';
break;
case 'auth':
$transaction['type'] = 'Authorize';
break;
case 'refund':
$transaction['type'] = 'Refund';
break;
case 'void':
$transaction['type'] = 'Void';
break;
default:
$transaction['type'] = 'Payment';
}
$transaction['amount'] = $this->currency->format($transaction['amount'], $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
if ($transaction['status'] == 'Y') {
$transaction['status'] = 'Accepted';
} else if ($transaction['status'] == 'N') {
$transaction['status'] = 'Rejected';
}
$transaction['date_modified'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'), strtotime($transaction['date_modified']));
$transaction['date_added'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'), strtotime($transaction['date_added']));
}
$data['cardconnect_order'] = $cardconnect_order;
$data['order_id'] = $this->request->get['order_id'];
$data['user_token'] = $this->request->get['user_token'];
| -2.02395 | -1.846427 | -1.753436 | -0.664184 | [
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] | 1,334,872 | 3,072 | Github | -1 | -1 |
return $this->load->view('extension/payment/cardconnect_order', $data);
}
}
}
public function inquire() {
$this->load->language('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$json = array();
if ($this->config->get('cardconnect_status')) {
if (isset($this->request->post['order_id']) && isset($this->request->post['retref'])) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$cardconnect_order = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getOrder($this->request->post['order_id']);
if ($cardconnect_order) {
$inquire_response = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->inquire($cardconnect_order, $this->request->post['retref']);
if (isset($inquire_response['respstat']) && $inquire_response['respstat'] == 'C') {
$json['error'] = $inquire_response['resptext'];
} else {
$this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->updateTransactionStatusByRetref($this->request->post['retref'], $inquire_response['setlstat']);
$json['status'] = $inquire_response['setlstat'];
$json['date_modified'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
$json['success'] = $this->language->get('text_inquire_success');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_no_order');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_data_missing');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_not_enabled');
}
$this->response->addHeader('Content-Type: application/json');
$this->response->setOutput(json_encode($json));
}
public function capture() {
$this->load->language('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$json = array();
if ($this->config->get('cardconnect_status')) {
if (isset($this->request->post['order_id']) && isset($this->request->post['amount'])) {
if ($this->request->post['amount'] > 0) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$cardconnect_order = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getOrder($this->request->post['order_id']);
if ($cardconnect_order) {
$capture_response = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->capture($cardconnect_order, $this->request->post['amount']);
if (!isset($capture_response['retref'])) {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_invalid_response');
} else if (isset($capture_response['respstat']) && $capture_response['respstat'] == 'C') {
$json['error'] = $capture_response['resptext'];
} else {
$this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->addTransaction($cardconnect_order['cardconnect_order_id'], 'payment', $capture_response['retref'], $this->request->post['amount'], $capture_response['setlstat']);
$total_captured = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getTotalCaptured($cardconnect_order['cardconnect_order_id']);
| -2.139003 | -1.907308 | -1.887857 | -0.846686 | [
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-1.774801737926818
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-1.8777115456910016,
-1.8980014738940758
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] | 1,334,872 | 4,096 | Github | -1 | -1 |
$json['retref'] = $capture_response['retref'];
$json['amount'] = $this->currency->format($this->request->post['amount'], $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
$json['status'] = $capture_response['setlstat'];
$json['date_modified'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
$json['date_added'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
$json['total_captured'] = $this->currency->format($total_captured, $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
$json['success'] = $this->language->get('text_capture_success');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_no_order');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_amount_zero');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_data_missing');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_not_enabled');
}
$this->response->addHeader('Content-Type: application/json');
$this->response->setOutput(json_encode($json));
}
public function refund() {
$this->load->language('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$json = array();
if ($this->config->get('cardconnect_status')) {
if (isset($this->request->post['order_id']) && isset($this->request->post['amount'])) {
if ($this->request->post['amount'] > 0) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$cardconnect_order = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getOrder($this->request->post['order_id']);
if ($cardconnect_order) {
$refund_response = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->refund($cardconnect_order, $this->request->post['amount']);
if (!isset($refund_response['retref'])) {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_invalid_response');
} else if (isset($refund_response['respstat']) && $refund_response['respstat'] == 'C') {
$json['error'] = $refund_response['resptext'];
} else {
$this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->addTransaction($cardconnect_order['cardconnect_order_id'], 'refund', $refund_response['retref'], $this->request->post['amount'] * -1, $refund_response['resptext']);
$total_captured = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getTotalCaptured($cardconnect_order['cardconnect_order_id']);
$json['retref'] = $refund_response['retref'];
$json['amount'] = $this->currency->format($this->request->post['amount'] * -1, $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
$json['status'] = $refund_response['resptext'];
$json['date_modified'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
$json['date_added'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
| -2.215704 | -2.05414 | -2.212495 | -0.84571 | [
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-2.139002518635578
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-2.039814767960656
] | [
-2.354524858463244,
-2.070465863620206
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12
] | 1,334,872 | 5,120 | Github | -1 | -1 |
$json['total_captured'] = $this->currency->format($total_captured, $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
$json['success'] = $this->language->get('text_refund_success');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_no_order');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_amount_zero');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_data_missing');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_not_enabled');
}
$this->response->addHeader('Content-Type: application/json');
$this->response->setOutput(json_encode($json));
}
public function void() {
$this->load->language('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$json = array();
if ($this->config->get('cardconnect_status')) {
if (isset($this->request->post['order_id']) && isset($this->request->post['retref'])) {
$this->load->model('extension/payment/cardconnect');
$cardconnect_order = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->getOrder($this->request->post['order_id']);
if ($cardconnect_order) {
$void_response = $this->model_extension_payment_cardconnect->void($cardconnect_order, $this->request->post['retref']);
if (!isset($void_response['authcode']) || $void_response['authcode'] != 'REVERS') {
$json['error'] = $void_response['resptext'];
} else {
$json['retref'] = $void_response['retref'];
$json['amount'] = $this->currency->format(0.00, $cardconnect_order['currency_code'], false, true);
$json['status'] = $void_response['resptext'];
$json['date_modified'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
$json['date_added'] = date($this->language->get('datetime_format'));
$json['success'] = $this->language->get('text_void_success');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_no_order');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_data_missing');
}
} else {
$json['error'] = $this->language->get('error_not_enabled');
}
$this->response->addHeader('Content-Type: application/json');
$this->response->setOutput(json_encode($json));
}
protected function validate() {
if (!$this->user->hasPermission('modify', 'extension/payment/cardconnect')) {
$this->error['warning'] = $this->language->get('error_permission');
}
if (!$this->request->post['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id']) {
$this->error['payment_cardconnect_merchant_id'] = $this->language->get('error_merchant_id');
}
if (!$this->request->post['cardconnect_api_username']) {
$this->error['cardconnect_api_username'] = $this->language->get('error_api_username');
}
if | -2.314321 | -2.136509 | -2.26322 | -0.987485 | [
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] | 1,334,872 | 6,144 | Github | -1 | -1 |
Baby Jessica
March 26, 1986 (age 33)
Jessica McClure
Jessica McClure Morales
Who Is Baby Jessica?
Falling Down the Well at 18 Months Old
"Couldn't cage me then, why should it cage me now?""You'll always be what you are remembered as."
Baby Jessica Biography
Jessica Morales, also known as "Baby Jessica," became famous in 1987, when she fell down a well in her aunt's backyard at 18 months old. She remained trapped for 58 hours.
Jessica McClure Morales, also known as "Baby Jessica," became famous in 1987, when, at 18 months old, she fell down a 22-foot well in her aunt's backyard. She remained trapped in the well for 58 hours, while America watched on CNN, before being rescued.
Remembered worldwide as "Baby Jessica," Jessica McClure Morales was born March 26, 1986, in the oil city of Midland, Texas. She was born to teenage parents, Reba "Cissy" McClure and Lewis "Chip" McClure, who had fallen on hard times in the depths of the Texas oil bust of the mid-1980s.
The first 18 months of Baby Jessica's life passed without the world at large taking much notice. Then, on the morning of Wednesday, October 14, 1987, she suddenly became the most famous child in the country. Jessica's aunt Jamie Moore ran a daycare center out of her home, where that morning Jessica was playing with four other children in the backyard under the supervision of her mother, Cissy, who briefly went inside to answer a phone call, leaving the children momentarily unattended. Minutes later, she heard the kids screaming and rushed back outside to find that her daughter had disappeared. She soon discovered that Baby Jessica had fallen into an eight-inch diameter well and become trapped deep down in its shaft.
How exactly Baby Jessica fell into the well remains unclear. According to her mother, the opening had been covered up by a heavy rock to prevent just such an accident. "I didn't know what to do," Cissy McClure later recalled. "I just ran in and called the police. They were there within three minutes, but it felt like a lifetime."
Baby Jessica remained trapped in the well, 22 feet below ground and only 8 inches wide, for the next 58 hours, while frantic rescue crews attempted to save her life and the entire nation watched transfixed as the drama played out on television. Because she had fallen so deep into the earth -- beneath layers of rock harder than granite -- and because the diameter of the well was so narrow, the rescue mission was extraordinarily difficult.
Using a large rat-hole rig, a machine normally used to plant telephone poles in the ground, rescue teams drilled a 30-inch wide, 29-foot deep hole parallel to the well. They then began the difficult process of drilling a horizontal tunnel between the two wells about two feet below where Baby Jessica was trapped.
In the meantime, rescue workers pumped oxygen into the well and attempted to maintain constant communication with Baby Jessica, who moaned, wailed and for a while even sang nursery rhymes to pass the time. "After listening to her for so long, I could tell her moods," a detective on the scene recalled. "At one point she was singing. At another point, when a jackhammer started up, she didn't say any words but used kind of a huffy little voice. You could tell it was an angry voice. I would say 80 percent of the time she was either crying or making some kind of noise we could hear. When we weren't calling words of encouragement, we'd tell her to sing for us. I'll never forget her singing 'Winnie the Pooh.'"
The entire rescue ordeal was covered live on CNN, the nation's first -- and at that time only -- 24-hour news network. For only the second time in American history (the first being the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger a year earlier) the entire nation watched literally around-the-clock as a dramatic news story unfolded live on | 0.566064 | 1.405355 | 0.554544 | -0.539399 | [
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television.
Dubbed "everybody's baby," Baby Jessica tugged at heartstrings of millions of viewers; thousands of strangers sent her family flowers, toys, cards and money. Donations, totaling in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, were set aside in a trust fund for her to inherit at the age of 25. In fact, many point to CNN's coverage of Baby Jessica's rescue as a turning point in the history of news media, the genesis of the era of the 24-hour news cycle.
Finally, on the evening of October 16, 1987, Baby Jessica was lifted safely out of the well. The Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph of her rescue, snapped by Scott Shaw, shows Baby Jessica cradled in the arms of a paramedic, her head wrapped in white gauze, her arms caked in dirt, her bleary eyes just barely open. Over the next few years, Baby Jessica underwent 15 surgeries to treat all of the complications from her three days trapped without food or water inside the well. She ultimately did regain full health. Chronic but controllable rheumatoid arthritis, a missing small toe on her right foot and a prominent diagonal scar across her forehead are the only permanent physical signs of her ordeal.
Once she grew older, Baby Jessica could not remember anything about her three days trapped in a well in her aunt's backyard or her lengthy recovery. She did not even learn her own story until she was five years old and saw an episode of Rescue 911, recounting the story of a baby girl's rescue from a well three years earlier. Moved to tears by the story, she asked her stepmother (her parents had since divorced) what the girl's name was and learned it was her.
Ever since those dramatic three days in 1987, Morales has lived an extraordinarily ordinary life. She graduated from Greenwood High School outside Midland in 2004, and in 2006 she married a man named Daniel Morales. She has two children, Simon and Sheyenne, and stays home to care for them. On March 26, 2011, her 25th birthday, Morales gained access to her trust fund, worth approximately $800,000, which she plans to save for her children's college education.
Morales does not often speak about her rescue, and in a recent interview she insisted it has had very little impact on her life. "Couldn't cage me then, why should it cage me now?" she asked rhetorically. And while people who recognize her by the scar on the forehead still call her "Baby Jessica," Morales says the name does not bother her. "Like they told Lil' Bow Wow, you'll never get rid of the 'little' part," she said. "Cause you'll always be what you are remembered as."
https://www.biography.com/personality/baby-jessica
Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have put their NYC SoHo penthouse on the market for nearly $8 million after buying a $20 million apartment twice the size in Tribeca. The 3-bedroom, 2.6K square-foot apartment has 10-foot ceilings and a private wraparound terrace.
Actress Jessica Alba shot to stardom with her role on TV's 'Dark Angel.' She also played Sue Storm in the Fantastic Four' movies.
Jessica Lange is an award-winning American actress best known for her roles in 'King Kong,' 'Tootsie,' 'Grey Gardens' and 'American Horror Story.'
Actress Jessica Capshaw is best known for playing lawyer Jamie Stringer on 'The Practice' and Doctor Arizona Robbins on the popular drama 'Grey's Anatomy.'
Jessica Chastain is an award-winning actress who gained widespread attention for her work in films like ''The Help,' 'Tree of Life' and 'Zero Dark Thirty.'
Sarah Jessica Parker is an award-winning TV and film actress whose starring role in the series 'Sex and the City' catapulted her to stardom.
Jessica Tandy
Jessica Tandy was an English-born U.S. actress well known for her role in Broadway's Foxfire and her Oscar-winning performance | 0.834563 | 0.733869 | -0.042741 | -0.893185 | [
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6 Fascinating Facts About Oxytocin, the "Love Hormone"
BY Jessica Hullinger
The hormone oxytocin is often referred to as the "love hormone" or the "bonding hormone" because of its observed effects on our relationships. It's released by the hypothalamus during physical intimacy, and during breastfeeding to facilitate mother-child bonding. It also helps us trust one another—as Irina Conboy, associate professor of bioengineering at UC Berkeley, puts it, "this is the hormone that makes your heart melt when you see kittens, puppies and human babies." But it's not that straightforward, and many of oxytocin's effects seem to contradict the presumption that it turns us into blubbering piles of love. Here, a look at some of the many things this molecule can do.
1. It helps turn off fear.
Earlier this month, researchers at the University of Bonn Hospital discovered that oxytocin inhibits the brain's fear center. In the study, scientists induced fear in subjects by showing them a series of images, 70 percent of which were accompanied by a small electric shock to the hand. Half the subjects then received an oxytocin nasal spray and were shown the same images again, but without the electric shock. Those treated with oxytocin were less afraid of the shock, and the areas of their brains associated with fear were less active. The finding suggests oxytocin could be used to treat anxiety disorders in the future.
2. It may be the cause of your mommy issues.
Oxytocin has been shown to influence how men remember their mother's affection toward them as children. While under the influence of the hormone, men with strong attachments and happy memories of their mother had these memories heightened, and recalled being closer to her as a kid. This was to be expected, but researchers were surprised to find oxytocin did not enhance positive memories for men who were less attached to their mothers. Instead, the hormone brought bad memories to the forefront, causing men to remember their mothers as less caring. "The fact that oxytocin did not make all participants remember their mother as more caring, but in fact intensified the positivity or negativity of the men's pre-existing memories, suggests that oxytocin plays a more specific role in these attachment representations," says researcher Jennifer Bartz, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine.
3. It makes us cheaters and liars
In one study, participants were asked to predict the outcome of a coin toss and self-report their accuracy. Correct guesses resulted in money, which would be split between team members. Predictably, a financial reward encouraged participants to lie about their success rate. But a dose of oxytocin made them lie even more, and without hesitation. "This is the best evidence yet that oxytocin is not the 'moral molecule,'" said Carsten de Dreu from the University of Amsterdam, who co-led the study.
4. It makes your dog like you more.
Humans aren't the only animals affected by oxytocin. One study suggests the hormone makes dogs more friendly toward their owners. Researchers administered oxytocin to 16 adult dogs of different breeds and watched their behavior, paying specific attention to "bonding" behavior like sniffing, nudging, licking, and playing. "We found that after receiving the oxytocin spray, dogs displayed more affiliative behaviors and paid more attention to their owners than during the controls," said the study's lead author Teresa Romero. The substance may someday be useful in helping abused dogs trust their new, loving owners.
5. It helps heal age-related ailments.
As mice age, the amount of oxytocin in their blood decreases. But what does that mean for their health? Researchers injected oxytocin under the skin of elderly mice with damaged muscles and discovered the muscles healed much faster than those of mice left untreated. "The action of oxytocin was fast," said Christian Elabd, the study's co-author. "The repair of muscle in the old mice was at about 80 percent of what we saw in the young mice." Researchers aren't sure yet when oxy | 0.764709 | 1.401773 | 1.317952 | 0.205894 | [
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_Great Expectations_ , Charles Dickens
© 1983, Can Sanat Yayınları Ltd. Şti.
Tüm hakları saklıdır. Tanıtım için yapılacak kısa alıntılar dışında yayıncının yazılı izni olmaksızın hiçbir yolla çoğaltılamaz.
1. basım: 1983
7. basım: Eylül 2013, İstanbul
E-kitap 1. Sürüm Ocak 2014, İstanbul
2013 tarihli 7. Basım esas alınarak hazırlanmıştır.
Kapak tasarımı: Ayşe Çelem Design
ISBN 9789750720208
CAN SANAT YAYINLARI
YAPIM, DAĞITIM, TİCARET VE SANAYİ LTD. ŞTİ.
Hayriye Caddesi No. 2, 34430 Galatasaray, İstanbul
Telefon: (0212) 252 56 75 / 252 59 88 / 252 59 89 Faks: (0212) 252 72 33
Sertifika No: 10758
CHARLES DICKENS
BÜYÜK UMUTLAR
ROMAN
İngilizce aslından çeviren
Nihal Yeğinobalı
Charles Dickens'ın Can Yayınları'ndaki diğer kitapları:
_Oliver Twist_ , 2007
_İki Şehrin Hikâyesi_ , 2011
CHARLES DICKENS, 1812'de İngiltere'nin Portsmouth kentinde doğdu. Babası hapse düşünce okuldan ayrılıp bir fabrikada çalışmak zorunda kaldı. Bu dönemde işçi sınıfının yaşamını ve sıkıntılarını yakından tanıma fırsatı buldu. Babası dönünce eğitimini tamamladı. Önce bir avukatla, sonra liberal bir gazetede çalıştı. _Mister Pickwick'in Serüvenleri_ (1837) adlı ilk romanı çok tutuldu. Ardından gelen _Oliver Twist_ önce yayın yönetmenliğini üstlendiği bir dergide tefrika edildi. Bunu _Nicholas Nickleby, Antikacı Dükkânı_ ve _Martin Chuzzlewit_ izledi. _Bir Noel Şarkısı_ (1843) olağanüstü bir başarı elde etti. _Dombey and Son,_ Dickens'ın romancılığında bir dönüm noktası oldu. _David Copperfield_ 'da _,_ toplumsal sorunlardan çok kendi deneyimlerine ağırlık veren Dickens, _İki Şehrin Hikâyesi_ ve _Büyük Umutlar_ 'la zirveye çıktı. Dickens'ın yapıtları, gerçekçi biçemin, düzyazı ustalığının, mizahi bir dehanın ve benzersiz edebî karakterlerin en önemli örnekleri olarak değerlendirildi. Dickens, 1870'te öldü | -0.07045 | -1.303866 | -0.941839 | -1.04439 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 0 | Book | -1 | -1 |
.
* * *
NİHAL YEĞİNOBALI, 1927'de doğdu. Arnavutköy Amerikan Kız Koleji'ni bitirdikten sonra New York Eyalet Üniversitesi'nde edebiyat öğrenimi gördü. _Genç Kızlar_ adlı ilk romanını, Vincent Ewing adını verdiği sözde Amerikalı bir yazarın imzasıyla 1950'de yayımladı. Kitap hâlâ basılmaktadır. Ardından _Sitem, Mazi Kalbimde Bir Yaradır, Belki Defne, Gazel_ adlı romanları ve _Cumhuriyet Çocuğu_ adlı anı kitabını yayımladı. Yeğinobalı, çok sayıda yazarın yapıtlarını çevirdi.
# 1
Soyadımız Pirrip, adım da Philip olduğundan küçüklüğümde bu iki adı bir arada söylemeye bir türlü dilim dönmez, anca "Pip" diyebilirmişim. Böylece adımı "Pip"e çıkarmışım, herkes de beni "Pip" diye çağıragelmiş.
Soyadımızın Pirrip olduğuna babamın mezar taşı tanıktı; bir de köy demircisiyle evli olan ablam Mrs. Joe Gargery. Babam ile annemin kendilerini de, resimlerini de görmemiş olduğum için (çünkü o günler, henüz fotoğraflı günlerden çok uzaktı) onları gözümün önünde canlandırdığım zaman beliren ve mantıkla zerrece ilişkisi olmayan görüntüler mezar taşlarının esinleriydi. Taşının üstündeki harflerin biçimlerine baka baka babam kısa, tıknaz yapılı, koyu renk kıvırcık saçları olan, esmer bir adammış gibilerden bir garip inanca kapılmıştım _._
"Ve Georgiana, yukarıda adı geçenin karısı" diyen cümlenin biçimi ve akışındansa annemin çilli, hastalıklı, mıymıntı bir kadın olduğu gibi çocukça bir sonuç çıkarmıştım.
Ana babamın mezarlarının yanı başında, eşit aralıklarla dizili duran, her biri de yaklaşık yarım metre uzunluğunda olan o beş tane küçük taş kutuya gelince... İnsanların yaşayabilmek uğruna giriştikleri evrensel çabadan, daha başlangıçta vazgeçmiş olan beş minik kardeşimin kutsal anısıydı bunlar. Ben de taşlara baktıkça bütün bu küçük kardeşlerimin sırtüstü, elleri ceplerinde olarak doğmuş ve yaşadıkları sürece ellerini ceplerinden hiç çıkarmamış olduklarına sarsılmaz bir inançla bağlıydım.
Köyümüz ırmak boyunda, bataklık bir yerde kurulmuştu. Irmağın dönemeç yaptığı yörede, denizden otuz, k | -0.178997 | -1.545601 | -1.403434 | -1.14942 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 1,024 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ırk kilometre uzaklıktaydık. Şimdi düşünüyorum da çevremdeki şeylerin nitelikleri konusunda en canlı, en geniş kapsamlı izlenimi edinmem, soğuk bir günün ikindi saatine rastlar. İçinde bulunduğum, bu dikenlere boğulmuş, ıssız, bakımsız yerin kilise avlusundaki mezarlık olduğunu, "Bu köyde oturanlardan Philip Pirrip ile Georgiana'nın –yukarıda adı geçenin karısı– ölmüş, bu mezarlıkta gömülmüş olduklarını; ve yukarıda adı geçenlerin yavruları Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias ve Roger'ın da ölmüş, bu mezarlıkta gömülmüş olduklarını kesinlikle anlayıp öğrendim.
Gene kesinlikle anlayıp öğrendim ki, mezarlığın gerisinde uzanan, kanallar, setler, set kapıları, köprüler, tümseklerle dilimlenmiş, tümseklerin üstünde otlayan sığır sürüleriyle beneklenmiş olan ıssız, pusarık, yabanıl düzlük, 'Bataklık' denilen yerdir: Bataklığın gerisindeki o alçak, kurşuni çizgi ırmaktır; delice saldıran azgın rüzgârların ini olan o yabanıl, korkunç uzaklık ise denizdir. Bütün bunlardan korkmaya, bu yüzden de tir tir titreyerek ağlamaya başlayan şu küçük çıkın ise, Pip'tir."
"Kes zırıltıyı be!" diye müthiş bir sesin gürlemesiyle birlikte, kilise sundurmasının yanındaki, mezarların arasından bir adam fırlayıvermişti. "Kes sesini, yoksa gırtlağını keserim senin, küçük şeytan!"
Kaba saba, boz paçavralara bürünmüş, bacağının birinde kocaman bir demir parçası sürüyen, korkunç bir adamdı bu! Ayakkabıları paramparça, şapkasız başına eski püskü bir bez dolamış bir adam. İliklerine dek ıslanmış, tepeden tırnağa çamura bulanmış, taşlardan, kayalardan bacakları yara bere içinde kalmış, dört bir yanına dikenler yapışmış, sırtındakiler çalı çırpıya takılmaktan lime lime olmuş bir adam. Soğuktan titreyerek topallaya topallaya yürüyen, gözlerini devire devire homurdanan bir adam.
Üşümekten dişleri birbirine çarpan çenemi tutup yüzümü şöyle bir kaldırınca tüylerim diken diken olarak yalvardım:
"N'olur kesmeyin gırtlağımı, efendim! N'olur yapmayın!"
"Adın ne senin?" dedi adam. "Çabuk söyle!"
"Pip, efendim."
Adam yüzüme dik dik bakarak, | -0.308774 | -1.903727 | -1.644377 | -1.325013 | [
-0.24679591347379062,
-0.37075153979817843
] | [
-1.6315514514220404,
-2.175902540140195
] | [
-1.46684049957875,
-1.8219142431325477
] | [
-1.0986936336516573,
-1.551332060327659
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"Ne dedin?" diye sordu. "Doğru dürüst konuş, bakayım! Evin neresi? Parmağınla göster."
Kiliseden bir buçuk kilometre kadar uzaklıkta, rüzgârdan kelleşmiş kızıl ağaçların arasındaki düzlükte kurulu olan köyümüzü gösterdim.
Adam beni şöyle bir ters ters süzdükten sonra tuttuğu gibi baş aşağı çevirerek ceplerimi boşalttı. Bir parça ekmekten başka bir şey çıkmadı ceplerimden. Gözlerimin önünde kilise gene yerli yerine dönünce (adam öyle güçlüydü, beni de öylesine birdenbire ters döndürmüştü ki, kiliseyi de tepetaklak hale getirmişti; kuleyi ayaklarımın dibinde görmüştüm bir an); dediğim gibi kilise gene eski durumuna dönünce, kendimi bir mezar taşının üstüne oturmuş, tir tir titrer buldum. Adamsa cebimde bulduğu ekmeği, kıtlıktan çıkmışçasına mideye indiriyordu.
Dudaklarını şapırdatarak, "Seni köpoğlusu!" diye söylendi. "Amma da tombul yanakların var be!"
Gerçi o sırada yaşıma göre cılız, çelimsiz sayılırdım, gene de yanaklarım tombulmuş demek!
Adam başını bana gözdağı verircesine sallayarak, "Tanrı canımı alsın ki yiyesim geliyor yanaklarını," diye söylendi. "Şöyle şapur şupur, ne de güzel yenir ya."
Tanrı vere de böyle bir şey yapmaya, diye içimden geçirdiğim dileği, adama olanca ciddiliğimle söyledim. Beni oturtmuş olduğu mezar taşına sıkı sıkı sarılmıştım; hem düşmemek, hem de ağlamamak için.
"Sen bana bak hele," dedi adam. "Annen nerde senin?"
"Şuracıkta, efendim," dedim.
Adam irkilerek o saat bir koşu kopardı; birkaç adım koştuktan sonra durup arkasına baktı.
O zaman ben çekinerek, "İşte, şurda," diye açıklamada bulundum. _"_ 'Ve Georgiana...' Benim annem o işte."
Adam, "Yaa," diye döndü, yanıma geldi. "Annenin yanı sıra yatan da baban mı yoksa?"
"Evet, efendim," dedim. "O da o. 'Bu köyde oturanlardan.'"
"Vay anasını..." diye, adam dalgın dalgın söylendi. Sonra, "Kimle oturuyorsun sen?" diye sordu. "Diyeceğim, iyiliğim tutar da sağ bırakırsam kimin yanına gideceksin? Sağ bırakacağıma daha karar vermiş değilim ya, o başka."
"Ablam var, efendim. Mrs. Joe Gargery. Demirci Joe Gargery'nin | -0.113766 | -1.746152 | -1.621551 | -1.170231 | [
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karısı, efendim."
Adam, "Demirci ha," diyerek kendi ayağına bir göz attı.
Bir bacağına bir de bana birkaç kez kötü kötü baktıktan sonra üstünde tünediğim mezar taşına adamakıllı sokuldu, beni iki kolumdan kavradığı gibi arkama doğru yatırabildiğince yatırdı. Gözleri olanca keskinliğiyle gözlerime dikilmiş, benim gözlerim de çaresiz, ürkek, onun gözlerine takılıp kalmıştı.
Adam, "Sen hele bir bana bak, bakalım," dedi. "Canını bağışlayacak mıyım, yoksa bağışlamayacak mıyım, sorun bu. Eğe denen şey nedir, bilir misin sen?"
"Evet, efendim."
"Kumanya bilir misin?"
"Evet, efendim."
Adam her sorudan sonra, daha bir umarsızlık ve tehlike duygusu aşılamak için olacak, beni daha da arkaya yatırıyordu.
"Eğe bulup getireceksin bana," dedi, bastırdı beni arkaya doğru, bastırabildiğince. "Kumanya getireceksin," dedi. Daha da yatırdı. "Yoksa, yemin ederim, yüreğinle ciğerini deşerim ha, senin."
Beni gene geriye doğru ittirdi. Ödüm kopmuştu. Öyle başım dönüyordu ki ona sımsıkı sarılarak, "Eğer dik durmama izin verirseniz belki içim dışıma çıkmaz; o zaman sizin söyledikleriniz daha iyi aklıma girer sanıyorum, efendim," dedim.
Bu kez adam beni öylesine bastırdı ki, karşımdaki kilise, kulesinin tepesindeki rüzgârgülünün üstünden takla attı sanki. Derken adam beni gene kollarımdan sımsıkı kavramış olarak taşın üstünde doğrulttu. Kanımı donduran şu sözlerle konuşmasını sürdürdü:
"Sen şimdi yarın sabah erkenden bana bir eğe ile biraz kumanya getireceksin. Topunu birden alıp bana, şu karşıki eski cephaneliğe getireceksin. Bu dediklerimi yapar da ağzını açıp kimselere, şöyle bir adam gördüm, demezsen; değil beni başka herhangi birini gördüğünü kimseye sezdirtmez, çıt çıkartmazsan canını bağışlarım senin. Yok, hele becerme söylediklerimi ya da dediklerimden biraz dışarı çık, istersen nah şu kadarcık bile çıkayım de, o zaman ciğerinle yüreğin deşilip kızartılıp yenilecek... Şimdi sen beni yalnız sanıyorsun ya, gelgelelim işin içyüzü hiç öyle değil. Benimle birlikte gizlenen genç bir adam var ki, Tanrı vermeye, onun yanı sıra | -0.457726 | -2.19739 | -1.773726 | -1.287293 | [
-0.35705478550819086,
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] | 1,334,895 | 4,096 | Book | -1 | -1 |
hani ben, zemzemle yıkanmış gibi kalırım. Benim şu ettiğim lafları duyuyor şimdi, o genç adam. Kendine özgü yöntemleri vardır onun; oğlan çocuklarının yüreklerini, ciğerlerini deşip çıkarmakta birebirdir. Ondan saklanmaya çalışmak da boşunadır. İstediğin kadar kapını kilitle, sıcacık yatağına gir yat; hatta büzül iyice, yorganı başına çek... Tehlikeyi atlattım, gayri ele geçmem sanırsın ama boş! O genç adam usulcacık, sürüne sürüne gelir, seni bulur, deşiverir karnını. Dahası da var; demin bile sana ilişmesin diye ben ettim gönlünü, hem de zorlukla. Göbeğim çatlıyor onu senden uzak tutmak için. Anladın ya! Ee, ne diyorsun şimdi bakalım?"
Ne diyeceğim? Ertesi sabah istediği eğeyle, toparlayabildiğim üç-beş lokma yiyeceği alarak erkenden cephaneliğe getirip ona vereceğimi söyledim.
Adam, "'Sözümde durmazsam Tanrı Baba beni çarpıp canımı alsın,' de," diye buyurdu.
Böylece yemin ettim. Bunun üzerine o da beni taştan aşağı indirdi.
"Sakın ha, unutayım deme yapacağın işleri," diye son bir uyarıda bulundu. "O dediğim genç adamı da hiç aklından çıkarma. Hadi, şimdi, koş evine git."
"H... hayırlı geceler, ef... fendim," diye kekeledim.
Adam gözlerini çevresindeki o soğuk, rutubetli bataklıkta gezdirerek, "Amma da hayırlı gece ha!" diye söylendi. "Kurbağa olmak varmış... ya da sülük!"
Bir yandan da o titreyen gövdesini dağılıp gitmekten korurcasına iki koluyla sımsıkı sararak topallaya topallaya, kilisenin alçak duvarına doğru yürüdü. O, yeşil tümsekleri bürümüş olan çalıların, ısırgan otlarının, fundaların arasından, dikenleri sakına sakına yürürken bana öyle geldi ki mezarlardaki ölüler de onu bacağından tutup çekivermek için uzanıyorlardı. Adam dikenlere değil de, ölülerin ellerine takılmamak için öyle sakına sakına yürürmüş gibi göründü çocuk gözlerime.
Kilisenin alçak duvarına vardığı zaman bacakları tutuk, ağrılıymış gibi bir hantallıkla öte yana atladı, sonra bana bakmak üzere döndü. Onun döndüğünü görünce ben hemen yüzümü köyden yana çevirip bacaklarımı var gücümle işletmeye giriştim. | -0.338222 | -2.089952 | -1.674812 | -1.353628 | [
-0.3652728380821834,
-0.3111706586367324
] | [
-2.0326522536354177,
-2.1472524828392396
] | [
-1.6595948175079545,
-1.6900297098125658
] | [
-1.3120059956483938,
-1.395249844232486
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Biraz sonra bir daha dönüp baktım. Adam ırmaktan yana gitmekteydi. Kendi kendini hâlâ kollarıyla sarmıştı. Yağmurdan sular kabardığı ya da gelgit dalgaları bastığı zaman yürünebilsin diye bataklığa serpiştirilmiş duran kocaman taşların birinden öbürüne atlaya atlaya yürüyordu.
Şu sırada bataklık ufka paralel uzanan uzun, kara bir çizgiydi, ben durmuş adamın ardından bakarken. Irmak da uzun, düz bir çizgiydi ama ne o kadar engin, ne de öylesine kara. Gökyüzü ise alçak, öfkeli, kızıl çizgilerle kapkara çizgilerin birbirine karışmasından oluşmuştu. Bütün bu manzara içinde dikine duran iki tanecik şey vardı ki bunlar da ırmak kıyısındaydı: Biri, gemicilere yol gösteren deniz feneriydi. Direk üstüne dikilmiş bir fıçıyı andıran, hele yakından bakınca pek çirkin görünen bir yapı. Öteki dikey nesneyse eski bir darağacıydı. Üzerindeki zincirlere bir zamanlar bir korsanı bağlamışlardı.
Deminki adam aksak adımlarla bu darağacına doğru ilerliyordu şimdi. Eski çağların o korsanı dirilmiş de kendini gene zincire vurmaya gidiyormuş sanırdınız. Bu düşünce tüylerimi diken diken etti, kanımı dondurdu. Yakınlardaki sığırların da başlarını kaldırarak ona baktıklarını gördüm. Acaba onlar da aynı şeyi mi düşünüyorlar, diye merak ettim. Demin sözü geçen o korkunç genç adamı görebilir miyim diye dört bir yana göz gezdirdimse de hiçbir ize, belirtiye rastlamadım. Ama içime gene bir korku düşmüştü. Koşmaya başladım; eve varıncaya dek de hiç durmadan koştum.
# 2
Ablam Mrs. Joe Gargery benden yirmi yaş büyüktü. Beni, "kendi elcağızıyla" büyütmüş olması yüzünden hem kendi gözünde, hem de komşular arasında büyük bir saygınlık kazanmıştı. Küçükken bu "kendi elcağızıyla büyütme" deyiminin ne anlama geldiğini pek kestiremez, bulup çıkarmaya çalışırdım. Ablamın sert, ağır elli olduğunu, benim kadar, kocasının da bu elin tadını tattığını bildiğimden, ikimizin de ablamın "kendi elcağızıyla" büyütülmüş olduğumuzu sanırdım.
Güzel, alımlı bir kadın değildi ablam. Şöylesine ki, Joe Gargery ile de "kendi elcağızıyla" evlenmiş olsa g | -0.484435 | -1.946702 | -1.644377 | -1.278188 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 6,144 | Book | -1 | -1 |
erek, diye içimden geçirirdim.
Joe sarışın bir adamdı. Düzgün tenli yüzünün iki yanına sarkan sarı büklümlü saçları vardı. Gözleri öyle kararsız bir mavi renkteydi ki, her nasılsa kendi aklarıyla karışmış sanırdınız. Yumuşak başlı, iyi huylu, geçimli, biraz saf, çok sevimli bir insandı. Bir çeşit Herkül gibiydi, hem güçlülükleri hem de zayıflıkları yönünden...
Kara gözlü, kara saçlı olan ablam Mrs. Gargery'nin yüzüyse öylesine kıpkırmızıydı ki, kimi kez kendi kendime, acaba yıkanırken sabun yerine rende mi kullanıyor, diye merak ettiğim olurdu. Uzun boylu, iri kemikliydi. Üzerinde her zaman, kaba bezden yapılma bir önlük bulundururdu. Bu önlük, arkasındaki iki ilmikten geçen bağcıklarla bağlanırdı. Önlüğün üst yanı ise üzerine her zaman topluiğneler, dikiş iğneleri saplanmış olduğu için, dört köşeli, zırha benzer bir göğüslük biçimindeydi. Ablam, hep önünde bu önlükle dolaşmaktan kendine büyük bir övünme payı çıkarır, kocasını da sürekli kınama fırsatı yaratırdı. Bana kalırsa ablam bu önlüğü hiç takmasa da olurdu ya, yok ille takacaksa, akşamları çıkarmasına ne engel vardı, anlayamazdım!
Joe'nun demirci dükkânı evimizin yanı başındaydı. Evimiz de yöremizdeki evlerin çoğunluğu gibi tahtadandı. O akşam koşa koşa eve döndüğümde demirci dükkânını kapanmış buldum. Joe tek başına mutfakta oturuyordu. Joe ile ben dert ortağı olduğumuz için sır ortağıydık da. Kapının mandalını kaldırıp başımı içeri sokar sokmaz tam karşıda, ocağın köşesinde oturan Joe'nun bakışlarıyla karşılaştım. Joe hemen bana bir sır verdi:
"Ablan on, on iki kez çıkıp seni aradı, Pip'ciğim. Şimdi de dışarıda, on üçüncü kezdir seni aramakta."
"Sahi mi?"
"Evet. En kötüsü gıdıkçı da elinde."
Bu kara haberi alınca gözlerimi ocaktaki ateşe dikerek yeleğimin düğmelerini burup bükmeye başladım. İçime bir ağırlık çökmüştü. Gıdıkçı diye andığımız şey, ucu mumlu bir kamıştı. Beni tepeden tırnağa gıdıklayıp durmaktan yıpranmış, üstüne cilalıymış gibi bir parlakl | -0.33651 | -1.928796 | -1.707783 | -1.478494 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 7,168 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ık gelmişti.
Joe, "Hop oturdu, hop kalktı," diye anlatıyordu. "Sonunda gıdıkçıyı kaptığı gibi hışımla dışarı fırladı. Yaa, böyle oldu işte." Bir maşa aldı, ocağın önündeki parmaklığın arasından közleri karıştırarak o da gözlerini ateşe dikti. "Fırtına gibi fırladı dışarıya, inan olsun. Tam 'kameti artırdı,' bu kez."
"Çok oldu mu gideli?" diye sordum.
Joe'ya hep, iri yapılı bir çocukmuş gözüyle bakar, onu kendime yaşıt tutardım.
Joe başını kaldırıp duraladı. Felemenk işi saate bakarak, "Bu son gidişi beş dakika oluyor Pip'ciğim," dedi. Sonra, "Geliyor!" diye haykırdı. "Koş kapının ardına, dostum. Köşeye saklan!"
Onun dediğini yaptım. Ablam kapıyı ardına kadar açıp da köşeye bir şeyler sıkışmış olduğunu anlayınca durumu hemen kavradı. Gıdıkçıyı da keşif kolu niyetine ileri uzattı. Sonunda beni tuttuğu gibi kocasından yana fırlattı. Kocasına karşı bir mermi olarak çok kullanırdı zaten beni! Joe ise beni kıvançla yakalayarak hemen ocağın köşesine sıkıştırdı; o uzun, iri bacaklarını önümde siper gibi gerdi.
Ablam tepinerek, "Nerelerde sürttün, beni böyle korkudan, kaygıdan, meraktan çatlatana dek, ha?" diye bağırıyordu. "Söyle diyorum, yoksa bir değil, elli tane Pip olsan, bir değil, beş yüz tane Joe Gargery'nin elinden çeker alırım seni!"
Köşedeki iskemlede büzülmüş oturduğum yerden, yaşlı gözlerimi ovuşturarak, "Mezarlıktaydım," diye hıçkırdım.
Ablam, "Mezarlıktaymış," diye dudak büktü. "Ben olmasaydım, sen çoktan boylamıştın o mezarlığı, hem de kazık çakmıştın oraya! Kim büyüttü seni kendi elcağızıyla, ha?"
"Sen büyüttün," dedim.
Ablam, "Neden yapmışım sanki?" diye yaygarayı bastı. "Hangi akla uymuşum da yapmışım sanki?"
Ben hep hıçkırarak, "Bilmem," dedim.
Ablam, "Ortada bir bilmeyen varsa o da benim," diye bağırdı. "Şimdiki aklım olsa dünyada yapmazdım, inan olsun! Sen doğdun doğalı şu önümdeki önlüğü bir Tanrı'nın günü çı | -0.572094 | -1.789127 | -1.641841 | -1.408257 | [
-0.5857905821509838,
-0.5583970735710087
] | [
-1.8607519098296845,
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kardımsa kör olayım. Gargery gibi bir demirci parçasının karısı olmak yetmezmiş gibi, bir de sana analık etmek varmış yazımda!"
Ben hâlâ üzgün üzgün ateşe bakıyordum ama düşüncelerim dağılmıştı. Bataklıktaki o bacağı demirli, vahşi adam, sözünü ettiği o gizemli genç adam, yiyecekle eğe sorunu, beni barındıran evde hırsızlık yapmak üzere vermiş olduğum söz, şu anda cehennem ateşini andıran alevler arasından yükselerek gözümün önünde dalgalanıyordu.
Ablam gıdıkçıyı yerli yerine koyarak, "Hıh," diye burun kıvırdı. "Mezarlıkmış! Siz ikiniz de o mezarlığı hiç aklınızdan çıkarmasanız yeridir."
Oysa ikimizden birisi o mezarlığın adını bile anmamıştı. Gene de ablam, "Yakında ikiniz bir olup beni yollayacaksınız o mezarlığa," diye söylendi. "Bensiz ne yapıp edeceğinizi görmek isterdim, doğrusu!"
Biraz sonra ablam sofra hazırlığına başlamıştı. Joe bacaklarının arasından bana doğru şöyle bir baktı. Sanki, ablamın sözünü ettiği üzücü koşullar altında ne yapıp edeceğimizi o da gözünde canlandırmak istiyordu. Sonra, böyle fırtınalı durumlarda huyu olduğu üzere, o kıvır kıvır sapsarı saçlarıyla şakaklarındaki tüyleri çekeleyerek karısının gidiş gelişlerini mavi gözleriyle izlemeye koyuldu.
Ablamın ekmek dilimleyip üzerlerine yağ sürmekte pek ustalıklı bir yöntemi vardı ki hiç değişmezdi. Önce, sol eliyle tuttuğu bir somun ekmeği önlüğünün göğüs kısmına bastırırdı. (Bu önlüğün göğsüne batırılmış duran topluiğnelerden, dikiş iğnelerinden birinin ekmeğe, oradan da bizim ağzımıza girdiği de olurdu.) Sonra ablam bıçakla bir parça (çok değil) tereyağı alır, ilaç karıştırıp macun yapan bir eczacının ustalığıyla bıçağın iki yanını da kullanarak somunun üzerine güzelce sürerdi. Daha sonra bıçağı somunun kenarında şöyle bir silip temizleyerek testereyle kesercesine somundan kalın bir dilim kesip ayırırdı. Ne var ki bu dilimi somundan ayırmadan önce ikiye bölerdi. Dilimin bir yarısı Joe'nun payına düşerdi, öbürü de bana.
Bu akşam karnım çok aç olduğ | -0.625511 | -1.892983 | -1.560681 | -1.28209 | [
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u halde payıma düşen ekmeği yemeyi bir türlü göze alamadım. Bataklıktaki o korkunç tanışımla onun kendinden bile korkunç olan ortağı için yedekte biraz kumanyam bulunması gerektiğini düşünüyordum. Ablamın elinin pek sıkı olduğunu, mutfakla kilerde yapacağım kötü niyetli araştırmaların belki de hiçbir sonuç vermeyeceğini biliyordum. Onun için, kendi tereyağlı ekmek dilimimi pantolonumdan içeri sokup saklamaya karar vermiştim.
Bu amaca erişmek uğruna harcanılması gereken çabanın nasıl insanüstü bir şey olduğunu az sonra anladım. Yüksek bir damdan aşağı atlamaya, derin sulara kendimi bırakmaya karar vermekle birdi bu! Hiçbir şeyin farkında olmayan Joe da işi büsbütün güçleştiriyordu. Dediğim gibi dert ortağı olduğumuz için kafadarlığımızı belirlemek üzere her akşam dilimlerimizi ısırmakta bir tür yarışa girişmek aramızda bir alışkanlık, bir gelenek olmuştu. Hiç sesimizi çıkarmadan dilimlerimizi birbirimize gösterip çalım satarak birbirimizden hız alır, lokmalarımızı daha bir gayretle ısırıp yutmaya başlardık.
Bu akşam da Joe birkaç kez kendi diliminin nasıl çarçabuk küçülmekte olduğunu bana göstererek her akşamki dostça yarışmamızı başlatmaya yeltendi. Ne var ki her bakışında beni, bir dizimde sarı çay kupam, öbür dizimde el sürülmemiş ekmek dilimimle, öylece oturur görüyordu.
Sonunda planımı gerçekleştirmenin artık kaçınılmaz olduğuna, bunun için de durumumuzun elverdiği en akla yatkın olanaktan yararlanmam gerektiğine karar verdim. Joe'nun bana baktıktan sonra başını çevirdiği bir saniyeyi fırsat bilerek tereyağlı ekmeğimi pantolon bacağımdan aşağı itiverdim.
Joe'nun benim bu (sözümona) iştahsızlığıma sıkıldığı anlaşılıyordu. Kendi ekmeğini dalgın dalgın şöyle bir dişledi, ama onun da iştahı kaçmış gibiydi. Lokmayı ağzında her zamankinden çok döndürüp dolaştırarak çiğnedi, çiğnedi, sonunda hap gibi yutuverdi. Bir lokma daha ısırmak üzereydi... tam iyice dişlemek için başını şöyle yana çevirmişti ki, bana takılan gözleri ekmeğimin yok olmuş olduğunu gördü.
Onun, ekmeğini tam ısı | -0.473477 | -1.889402 | -1.444014 | -1.31981 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 10,240 | Book | -1 | -1 |
rmak üzereyken böyle zınk diye durup merakla, tasayla gözlerini açarak bana bakması öyle belirgindi ki ablamın dikkatinden kaçmamıştı. Ablam hemen elindeki çay bardağını masanın üzerine bırakarak, "Ne oldu gene?" diye çıkıştı.
Joe başını bana doğru ciddi ciddi sallayarak, "Bana bak, arkadaş," diye sitemli bir azarla konuştu. "Pip'ciğim, iki gözüm, pişman olursun sonra. Boğazına tıkılır. Çiğnemeden yutuverdin, be cancağızım!"
Ablam deminkinden daha sert, "Ne oldu, diyorum size?" diye sordu.
Ağzı bir karış açık kalmış olan Joe, "Pip'ciğim, şöyle bir öksürüp birazcığını çıkartabilirsen iyi olur," diye mırıldandı. "Evet, belki yola yönteme sığmaz, ayıp kaçar ama insanın sağlığı da her şeyden üstündür, Pip."
Bu sırada lafları arada kaynayınca zıvanadan çıkmış olan ablam, Joe'nun üstüne atıldığı gibi yan sakallarından tutarak kafasını arkadaki duvara birkaç kez vurdu. Bense köşemde oturmuş, suçlu suçlu bakınıyordum.
Soluk soluğa kalmış olan ablam, "Şimdi belki söylersin ortada neler döndüğünü, seni gök gözlü koca öküz!" diye bağırdı.
Joe umarsız bakışlarla karısına baktı, sonra ne yapacağını kestirememiş gibi ekmeğinden bir lokma ısırdı, sonra gene bana baktı. Lokmasını avurduna tıkarak odada ikimiz yalnızmışız gibi ciddi, içten, konuşmasını sürdürdü:
"Pip'ciğim, bilirsin, biz senlen canciğer dostuz, senin gizlini saklını dünyada ele vermem. Vermem ya, gene de a benim canım..." Joe sandalyesinin ayağını yere sürttü, gözlerini önce indirdi, sonra gene benden yana baktı. "O ne görülmedik yutuştu öyle!"
Ablam, "Ekmeği çiğnemeden yuttu ha!" diye haykırdı.
Joe karısına değil de, hep benden yana bakarak, "İnan dostum, senin yaşındayken ben de yalamadan yutuculardandım," diye ekledi. Kendi lokması hâlâ avurdunda tıkılı duruyordu. "Çocukluğumda çok yalamadan yutucu görmüşümdür, gelgelelim seninle boy ölçüşebilecek gibisini bugüne dek görmedim doğrusu. Pip'ciğim, şükret ki tıkanıp kalmadın da hâlâ sağsın."
Ablam üzerime atladığı gibi beni saçımdan kavrayıp havaya kald | -0.517992 | -1.803452 | -1.728073 | -1.298999 | [
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2741
] | 1,334,895 | 11,264 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ırdı.
"Gel de ilaç iç," dedi.
Hepsi bu. Gene de bu sözlerin nemene tüyler ürpertici olduğunu siz gelin de bana sorun. O günlerde bir tıp canavarı, katran suyu denen nesneyi en eşsiz şifadır diye yeniden ortaya çıkarmıştı. Ablam da bu suyu, tadı ne denli iğrençse etkisinin o denli şifalı olduğuna inandığından, dolaptan eksik etmezdi. Bana da öyle çok içirirdi ki, gezdiğim yerde yeni boyanmış çit direkleri gibi kokular saçtığımı bilirdim. Bu akşamki durumumun ivediliği ise en azından bir litre ilaç almamı gerektiriyordu. Ablam bunu sanırım ben daha rahat edeyim diye, kafamı kunduracının onardığı bir pabuçmuşçasına koltuğunun altına sıkıştırarak boğazımdan aşağı akıttı.
Joe yarım litreyle kurtuldu. Zavallıcık, ateş başında düşüncelere dalmış, lokmalarını ağır ağır çiğneyerek yutmaktan öte bir şey yapmamakla birlikte ablamın elinden kurtulamadı, çünkü ablam üzerine heyheyler gelmiş olduğunu söylüyordu.
Kendimden pay biçerek söyleyebilirim: İlacı içmeden önce bir şeyciği yoktuysa bile sonradan Joe'nun üzerine heyheyler gelmiş olması kaçınılmazdı.
Bir erkeğin ya da bir çocuğun kendi vicdanınca suçlanması pek ağır bir şeydir. Beri yandan vicdanda taşınan gizli yükle pantolon paçasının içinde taşınan gizli yük birleştiği zaman çekilen işkence, kalıbımı basarım ki çok ezici olur.
Ablamın evinden bir şeyler çalmak zorunda oluşumun utandırıcı düşüncesi (bu utancı Joe'ya karşı duymuyordum çünkü eve hiçbir zaman onun evi gözüyle bakmazdım) ile elimi her dakika, mutfak içinde ufak tefek işlere koşturulduğum zamanlarda bile, pantolonuma gizlediğim ekmek diliminin üstüne bastırmak zorunda oluşum beni neredeyse deli ediyordu!
Bir yandan da, bataklıktan beri esip gelen rüzgâr ocaktaki közleri harlatıp yalazlandırdıkça, dışarıdan o bacağı demirli adamın sesini duyar gibi oluyordum. Bana gizlilik yemini ettirmiş olan adamın sesi, ertesi sabaha dek aç gezemeyeceğini, karnının ille bu gece doyurulması gerektiğini söylüyordu sanki. Derken bambaşka bir korku doluyordu içime: Ya ellerini benim ciğerlerimle yüreğime daldırmaktan öylesine güçlükle alı | -0.550179 | -1.792708 | -1.657059 | -1.436872 | [
-0.36664251351118216,
-0.73371552848285
] | [
-1.710339108999668,
-1.8750769384801622
] | [
-1.67481226366026,
-1.6393048893048803
] | [
-1.3120059956483938,
-1.5617375414006707
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] | 1,334,895 | 12,288 | Book | -1 | -1 |
konan o genç adamın huyu baskın çıkarsa? Ya saati şaşırıp yarına dek beklemesi gerektiğini unutarak ciğerlerimle yüreğime hemen bu gece el koymaya kalkarsa? Hani dehşetten insanın tüyleri gerçekten diken diken oluyorsa, o gece benim tüylerim dikenleşmiştir sanıyorum. Gene de kim bilir, korku kimsenin tüylerini diken diken etmez, belki de?
Noel arifesi olduğundan ertesi gün için hazırlanan pudingi Felemenk işi saate göre yediden sekize dek bakır bir değnekle karıştırmak bana düşmüştü. Bacağımdaki "kösteğe" karşın bu işi yapmaya çalıştımsa da, bu uğraş ekmek dilimini bacağımdan aşağı kaydırıp duruyor, ben de bununla bir türlü başa çıkamıyordum. Çok şükür bir ara bir fırsatını bulup sıvıştım da vicdan yükümün bu bölümünü çatı arasındaki odamda bırakabildim.
Pudingin karıştırılmasını bitirmiş, gidip yatmadan önce son bir kez ocağın köşesinde sırtımı ısıtıyordum ki, birden, "Dinle, Joe," dedim. "Büyük topların sesi miydi o?"
Joe, "Evet," dedi. "Mahpuslardan biri daha tüydü, desene!"
"O ne demek, Joe?" diye sordum.
Tüm açıklama işlerini kendi üstüne alan ablam, ters ters, "Kaçtı demek, kaçtı," diye yanıtladı. Yanıt verişi de katran suyunu içirişine benziyordu.
Ablam başını dikişine eğdiği sırada ben Joe'ya, ağzımı sessizce oynatarak, "Mahpus nedir?" diye sordum.
Joe ağzını özenle ezip büzerek öyle ayrıntılı bir karşılık verdi ki bir tek "Pip" sözcüğünü çıkartabildim.
Sonra Joe yüksek sesle, "Dün gece de bir mahpus kaçmış, akşam topundan sonra," diye anlattı. "Toplar atıp haber verdilerdi. Baksana, şimdi de bir başka mahkûmu haber veriyorlar."
"Peki, topu atanlar kim?" diye sordum.
Ablam işinden başını kaldırıp bana çatık kaşla bakarak, "Şu çocuğu da Tanrı bildiği gibi etsin," diye araya girdi. "Sanki çocuk değil, sorgu melaikesi! Soru sorma bana, yalan söylemeyeyim sana."
Düşündüm ki ben soru sormakla kusur işlesem bile o, bana yalan yanıt verebileceğini söylemekle kendi kendine terbiyesizlik etmiş oluyordu. Neylersiniz ki ablam hatırlı konukların dışınd | -0.726867 | -2.007583 | -1.697638 | -1.548731 | [
-0.5857905821509838,
-0.8679437205247286
] | [
-1.9968396820092231,
-2.0183272249849398
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-1.588580068797195,
-1.806696796980242
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-1.6085622062292224
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299
] | 1,334,895 | 13,312 | Book | -1 | -1 |
a kimseye terbiyeli davranmazdı.
Bu arada Joe ağzını binbir güçlükle ardına dek açıp "Dua"ya benzettiğim bir sözcük biçimlendirmeye çalışarak merakımı daha da törpülemişti.
Ablamdan dayak yemediğime dua mı edeyim istiyordu? Bunu sorarcasına ona ablamı gösterdimse de Joe hiç oralı olmayarak ağzını yeni baştan yayabildiğince yaydı, sağa sola oynattı, dudaklarının arasından iyice vurgulamaya çalıştığı bu sözcüğün biçimini söküp attı.
Ben de, "Ablacığım," diyerek en son çareye başvurdum. "Zahmet olmazsa söyleyiver, nerden atılıyor bu top?"
Ablam, "Tanrı iyiliğini versin e mi, çocuk!" diye bağırdı ya, aslında bu söylediğinin tam tersini dilediği anlaşılıyordu. " _Hulk_ 'lardan1 elbet, ayol!"
Ben Joe'dan yana bakarak, " _Hulk_ nedir?" diye fısıldadım.
Joe, "Ben demedim miydi?" gibilerden dargın dargın bir öksürdü.
Ben, "Kusura kalmayın ama, _hulk_ nedir?" diye sordum.
Ablam elindeki iğne ipliği benden yana uzatıp başını sallayarak, "Al sana, bu velet böyledir işte," diye mırıldandı. "Sorusunun bir tekine karşılık vermeye gelmez, ardından on tane daha sorar çünkü. O dediğimiz bir çeşit yüzen zindan demektir; bataklıkların gerisinde demir atarlar."
Korkumu içime gömerek pek üstünde durmamışçasına, "Kimleri koyarlar ki zindan gemilerine? Ne yüzden koyarlar?" diye sordum.
Artık "nah şurasına" gelmiş olan Mrs. Joe yerinden fırladığı gibi, "Geberme e mi, yumurcak!" diye bağırdı. "Ben seni kendi elcağızımla şu boya getirdimse herkesi kulağından kurut diye getirmedim! Yoksa dünya âlem beni övüp göklere çıkarmak bir yana, ayıplar, be! _Hulk_ ' lara katilleri kapatırlar; hırsızları, kalpazanları, her türden kötülük işleyenleri kapatırlar, anladın mı? Onları kötü yola ilk iten şey de yerli yersiz soru sormaktır. Hadi şimdi, marş marş, yatağa!"
Geceleyin yatmaya giderken elime tek bir mum bile verilmezdi. Hele o gece karanlıkta üst kata tırmanırken bir yandan kafam karıncalanıyordu, çünkü ablam son sözlerine, parmağındaki dikiş yüksüğüyle tepemde dümtek çalarak tempo tutmuştu; beri yandan da _hulk_ 'ların bizim oralarda dem | -0.69331 | -1.767639 | -1.73061 | -1.166329 | [
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ir atmalarının benim için ne büyük kolaylık olduğunu düşünüyordum. Öyle ya, yerli yersiz soru sormakla ben de kötü yola düştüğüme, bu gece de ablamın evinde hırsızlık edeceğime göre, kendimi sonunda _hulk_ ' larda bulacaktım, yüzde yüz. Apaçık bir şeydi bu.
Şimdi uzaklarda kalan o geceden bu yana kaç kez düşünmüşümdür; korkunun baskısı altında çocukların nasıl sinsileşebileceğini bilenler pek azdır. Korku bir kez çocuğun içine düşmeyegörsün: Akıldışı olması bir şey değiştirmez.
O gece ben de ölesiye korkuyordum; ille de yüreğimle ciğerimi isteyen o genç adamdan, benimle konuşmuş olan bacağı demirli adamdan, korkunç bir söz vermek zorunda bırakılmış olan kendi kendimden. Kudreti sınırsız olan, gene de her sığınışımda beni iteleyip tersleyen Mrs. Joe'dan da bir kurtuluş umudu göremiyordum. Gizli korkumun verdiği sinsilikle, o gece benden istenen en akıl almaz istekleri yerine getirebileceğimi, şimdi bile düşündükçe kanım donuyor.
O geceyi uykusuz geçirdim. Arada bir dalar gibi olsam da, bahar selleriyle kabarmış ırmak boyunca _hulk_ ' lara doğru sürüklendiğimi görür gibi oluyordum. Heyula bir korsan, darağacının önünden geçtiğim sırada elindeki boruyla bana seslenerek, "İşi sürüncemede bırakacağına hemencecik kıyıya çık, şuracıktan sallandır kendini, kurtul!" diyordu.
Uykum gelse bile dalmaktan korkuyordum. Tanyeri ağarmaya yüz tutar tutmaz aşağı inerek kileri soyup soğana çevirmek zorunda olduğumu biliyordum çünkü. Geceleyin yapılacak iş değildi bu. Hafif bir sürtüşle ışık yakabilmenin yolu daha bulunmamıştı o zamanlar. Işık yakacaksam, çakmaktaşını çeliğe sürtmem gerekirdi ki bunun gürültüsü de korsanın zincir şakırtısından geri kalmazdı.
Sabaha karşı, küçücük penceremin dışındaki o koca, kara kefen kırçıllaşmaya yüz tutar tutmaz kalkıp aşağı indim. Merdivenin her basamağı, basamak tahtalarındaki her çatlak, "Tutun, hırsız var! Kalk, Mrs. Joe, yetiş, hırsız var!" diye ardımdan bağırır gibiydi.
Mevsim gereğince her zamankinden çok daha dolu, zengin olan kilerde ayaklarından asılmış duran bir tavşan, ben tam ar | -0.517992 | -1.803452 | -1.52771 | -1.356229 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 15,360 | Book | -1 | -1 |
kamı döndüğüm sırada göz kırpmış gibi geldiğinden ödümü patlattı. Ne dönüp tavşana bakacak, ne dikkatli bir seçim, ne de başka bir şey yapacak zamanım yoktu, çünkü boşa geçirecek zamanım yoktu. Biraz ekmek, biraz peynir kabuğu, yarım kavanoz dolusu _mince_ _meat_2 (bunları, akşamdan kalma ekmek dilimimle birlikte mendilime sardım), testideki brendinin birazını cebimde gizlediğim bir şişeye boşalttım. Testiye de, içindekinin eksildiği anlaşılmasın diye, mutfak dolabındaki sürahiden su ekledim. Üstünde birkaç kıymık et kalmış bir kemik, bir de yuvarlacık, iyice kabarmış, içi bol jambonlu bir pay aldım. Payı nerdeyse almadan gidiyordum. Gelgelelim yüksek bir rafın köşesine kaldırılarak gizlenen şeyin ne olduğunu merak edince şeytan dürtmüşçesine çıkıp baktım; etli payı gördüm ve "Umarım bugün yarın kullanılmayacaktır da yokluğu bir süre anlaşılmaz," dileğiyle onu da aldım.
Mutfaktan demirci dükkânına açılan bir kapı vardı. Bu kapının sürgüsüyle kilidini açtım, Joe'nun araç gereçleri arasından bir eğe yürüttüm. Sonra bu kapıyı gene bulduğum gibi kapadım; akşam koşarak eve döndüğüm zaman kullanmış olduğum sokak kapısını açtım, ardımdan kapadım, gene koşaraktan, sisli bataklıkların arasına daldım.
1. (İng.) 1852 yılına kadar suçluları taşıyan eski gemilere verilen ad. (Y.N.)
2. (İng.) Tart, pay gibi hamur işlerinde kullanılan; kuru üzüm, ince kıyılmış elma, baharat vb. ile hazırlanan bir tür iç malzeme. (Y.N.)
# 3
Hem kırağılı, hem de rutubetli bir sabahtı. Rutubetin dışarıda, küçük yatak odamın penceresine yapışmış durduğunu görmüştüm. Geceleyin sabaha dek dışarıda ağlayan ecinniler pencere camını mendil niyetine kullanmışlardı sanki. Şimdi de rutubetin ortalıktaki seyrek otların, çıplak tümseklerin, ağaçların üstüne serilmiş durduğunu görebiliyordum; yapraktan yaprağa salkımlanan kalın, kaba dokulu bir örümcek ağı... Yol üstündeki parmaklıklarla kapıların hepsi nemden yapış yapıştı. Sis de öyle bir yoğundu ki yol üzerinde, bizim köyün y | -0.711801 | -1.828521 | -1.611406 | -1.253475 | [
-0.5227855124170409,
-0.9008159308206988
] | [
-1.6029013941210848,
-2.054139796611134
] | [
-1.6900297098125658,
-1.532782766238741
] | [
-1.012848414799312,
-1.4941019144260956
] | 1,024 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 16,384 | Book | -1 | -1 |
olunu gösteren o direğe çakılı tahtadan eli ancak dibine varınca seçebildim. Üzerimden sızan rutubet damlalarıyla bu sisler içindeki el, beni zindan gemisine doğru iten bir heyula gibiydi.
Bataklıklara varınca sis daha da koyulaştı. Ben kıpırtısız duruyordum; son hızla oraya buraya koşuşturan ben değildim de çevremdeki her şey son hızla benim üstüme koşuyor sanırdınız. Bu da, zaten rahat olmayan bir vicdanı daha da rahatsız eden bir şeydi. Köprüler, hendekler, kemerler, sisin içinden birdenbire yanı başımda belirerek açıkça, "Bu çocuk bir başkasının etli payını çaldı; durdurun şunu!" diye bağırıyorlardı sanki. Gene birdenbire sığırlar bitiveriyordu önümde; bel bel bakan gözleri, burun deliklerinden saçtıkları buharlarla, "Hey! küçük hırsız!" diyorlardı. Boğazında boyunbağına benzer bir beyazı olan, (duyduğum suçluluk duygusunun etkisinden mi nedir) papazlara benzettiğim bir kara öküz bu arada beni öylesine uzun, dik bir bakışla süzdü, küt biçimli kafasını öyle bir ayıplarcasına iki yana salladı ki kendimi tutamayarak, "Elimden başka bir şey gelmezdi, efendim," diye hıçkırdım. "Kendim için çalmadım, yemin ederim..."
Bunun üzerine öküz başını eğip burun deliklerinden bir buhar bulutu üfledikten sonra, arka bacaklarını şöyle bir savurup kuyruğunu sallayarak ortadan yok oldu.
Bu arada ırmağa yaklaşmaktaydım. Ne kadar hızlı koşarsam koşayım ayaklarım ısınmak bilmiyordu. Buluşmaya gittiğim adamın bacağındaki demir gibi, soğuk da benim bacaklarıma çakılıydı sanki... Cephaneliğin yolunu iyi biliyor sayılırdım. Bir pazar günü Joe ile gitmiştik oraya. Joe, kâğıtlarım çıkartılıp ona resmen çırak olduğum zaman bu kırlarda nasıl gezip tozarak ne "âlem"ler yapacağımızı anlatmıştı. Ne var ki siste yolumu şaşırdığımdan sonunda cephaneliğin iyice sağına düşmüş olduğumu gördüm. Bu yüzden de ırmak boyunca, çamurların berisindeki gevşek taşlarla gelgit direklerinin arasından geri dönmek zorunda kaldım. Son hızla yol almaya çabalıyordum. Cephaneliğe çok yakın olduğunu bildiğim bir hendeği tam aşmış, ardındaki yamacı tam tırmanmı | -0.626881 | -2.039815 | -1.753436 | -1.39525 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 17,408 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ştım ki karşımda, yerde oturmuş bir adam gördüm. Sırtı bana dönüktü. Kollarını kavuşturmuş, uykudan ağırlaşan başı durup durup önüne düşüyordu.
Ona hiç haber vermeden yaklaşıp kahvaltısını götürürsem daha çok sevineceğini düşünerek usulca ilerledim, omzuna dokundum. Dokunmamla yerinden fırlaması bir oldu. Ne var ki dünkü adam değildi bu; başka biriydi.
Öte yandan bu adam da kaba saba paçavralara bürünmüştü; ayağındaki koca demir parçası yüzünden topallıyordu; soğuktan nerdeyse donmuş, sesi boğuklaşmıştı. Kısacası her şeyiyle öbür adama benziyordu, yalnız yüzü başkaydı, bir de başında geniş kenarlı, yassı tepeli fötr bir şapka vardı. Bütün bunları tek bir bakışta gördüm, görecek başka fırsatım olmadı çünkü. Adam bana bir küfür, bir de yumruk savurdu. Yandan salladığı bu cılız yumruk beni ıska geçtiyse de onu sendelettiğinden neredeyse yere yıkıyordu. Derken adam koşmaya başladı. İki kez tökezledi, sonra sislere karışıp görünmez oldu.
Yüreğim ağzıma gelerek, "Bizim genç adam olsa gerek bu," diye düşündüm.
Neremde olduğunu bilseydim ciğerim de korkudan sancırdı sanıyorum.
Neyse, az sonra cephaneliğe vardım. Bir gün önceki adam gene oradaydı, işte; kendi kendini gene kollarıyla sarmış, bir aşağı bir yukarı topallayarak beni bekliyordu. Bütün gece kollarını hiç çözmemiş, dolanıp durmaktan hiç vazgeçmemiş sanırdınız. Soğuk iliklerine işlemişti besbelli. Bir an, donup kaskatı kesilerek ayaklarımın dibine düşüverecek sandım. Açlıktan da gözleri dönmüştü. Eğeyi elimden alıp otların arasında kaybolduğu zaman bana öyle geldi ki tuttuğum çıkını görmese eğeyi kıtır kıtır yiyebilirdi.
Bu kez elimdekini almak için beni baş aşağı çevirmedi; ayakta, dik olarak bıraktı, çıkınımı açıp ceplerimi boşaltayım diye bekledi.
"Şişedeki nedir, evlat?" diye sordu.
"Brendi," dedim.
Adam _mincemeat_ 'i çok garip bir yöntemle, elinden kapan varmışçasına, hapur hupur atıştırmaya başlamıştı bile; içkisinden birkaç yudum almak için yemeğe ara verdi. Bir yandan da soğuktan öyle zangırd | -0.441975 | -1.846427 | -1.791479 | -1.153322 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 18,432 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ıyordu ki şişenin boynunu, birbirine çarpan dişlerinin arasında kırmadan tutabildiğine şaşıyordum.
"Sizi sıtma tutmuş, galiba," dedim.
"Bana da öyle geliyor, evlat," dedi.
"Kötüdür buraları," diye ekledim. "Bataklıkta dolanıyorsunuz; sıtma yatağıdır buralar. Romatizma da yapar."
"Korkma; bu illetler yakama yapışıp canımı almadan önce karnımı doyururum ben! Birazcıktan şu yukarıki darağacına sallandıracaklarını bilsem gene karnımı bir sıkı doyurmaktan caymazdım. Hem şu körolası titreme nöbetinin de canına okuyacağım, bak görürsün."
_Mincemeat_ 'i, kemiğin üzerindeki etleri, payı, hep bir arada tıkınıp duruyordu. Bir yandan da bizi saran sisleri kuşkulu gözlerle süzmekten hiç geri kalmıyor, çoğu zaman duralayarak (geviş getirmesini bile durdurmacasına) çevreye kulak kabartıyordu. Şimdi de ırmak yönünden duyduğu ya da duyar gibi olduğu bir tıkırtı, bataklardaki bir hayvanın soluması üzerine neredeyse yerinden sıçrayarak düşercesine, "Adamı aldatmazsın ya sen?" diye sordu. "Gammazlık etmedin, başka birini getirmedin ya?"
"Yok, efendim, Tanrı canımı alsın ki!"
"Kimseye haber verip peşine de takmadın ya?"
"Yok, yok!"
"Peki," dedi adam. "İnandım sana. Zaten benim gibi bir sefile tuzak kuranlarla birlik etmen, şu körpe yaşına yaraşmazdı ki; canavarlık olurdu... benim gibi, peşimde kovalayanlardan kaçmak uğruna ecel terleri döken, zaten yarı ölmüş bir sefil!"
İçinde, duvar saati gibi çarklar varmış da saat başına çalmak üzereymiş gibi boğazında bir tıkırtı oldu; adam o kaba saba ceketinin yırtık yeniyle gözlerini örttü.
Bu zavallılığı içime dokunmuştu. O sırada etli payı yemekte olduğunu görerek yüreğimi pekleştirdim ve, "Afiyet olsun, efendim. Beğendiğinize sevindim," dedim.
"Bir şey mi, dedin?"
"Hoşunuza gittiğine sevindim, diyordum da."
"Sağ olasın, evlat; canıma değdi."
İri bir hayvan olan köpeğimizin yemek yiyişini çok seyretmiştim. Şimdi köpeğin yemek yiyişiyle bu adamınki arasında belirli bir benzerlik bulunduğunu gördüm! Adam da hart diye, keskin dişlemelerle koparıyordu lokmalarını, t | -0.195433 | -1.74257 | -1.735682 | -1.018701 | [
-0.12147061172040406,
-0.26939555805227017
] | [
-1.4381635646405908,
-2.046977282285895
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-1.7508994944217882,
-1.720464602117177
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260
] | 1,334,895 | 19,456 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ıpkı bir köpek gibi; sonra da lokmayı hemencecik, çiğnemeden yalayıp yutuyordu. Bir yandan da sislerin arasından biri çıkıp yemeğini elinden kapacakmışçasına yan gözle sağa sola bakınıp duruyordu. Bu tehlikeyi kafasına sardırmış olduğu için yemeğinin tam tadını çıkaramayacağını düşünmekten kendimi alamadım. Bu yemeği bir paylaşan olsa hırlayarak onu da dişlemeye kalkabilirdi. İşte bütün bu yönlerden bizim köpeğe pek benziyordu.
Bir süre, söylemek istediğim şeyin yersiz kaçabileceğini düşündükten sonra, çekinerek, "Ona bir şey kalmayacak diye korkuyorum," dedim. "Bundan başka hiçbir şey alıp getiremem artık."
İşte bu gerçeğin kesinliği yüzünden, ona çok yediğini dokundurmak gereğini duymuştum!
Dostum, payın gevrek kabuğunu çıtırdatarak yemeyi o saat keserek, "Ona kalmayacak ne demek?" diye sordu. "O da kim ki?"
"Hani şu genç adam. Hani sizin anlattığınız; sizinle birlikte gizlenen."
Adam kahkahaya benzer boğuk bir ses çıkararak, "Haa, şu," dedi. "O mu? Öyle ya. Kumanya istemez o."
"İster gibiydi oysa," dedim.
Adam çiğnemesini durdurarak beni inceden inceye, hem de son derece büyük bir şaşkınlıkla süzdü.
"Gibiydi mi? Ne zaman?"
"Şimdicik."
"Nerede?"
"Şuracıkta," diye elimle gösterdim. "Biraz ötede; başı önüne düşmüş uyukluyordu. Siz sandım önce."
Adam beni iki yakamdan kavrayarak gözlerimin içine öyle bir bakış baktı ki eski niyeti yeniden depreşti de beni boğazlayacak diye korkmaya başladım.
Tir tir titreyerek, "Üstü başı sizin gibiydi, hani biliyorsunuz, yalnız kafasında şapka vardı," diye açıkladım. "Sonracığıma... şey... işte..." Bu konuya kabalık etmeden değinmek için elimden geleni yaparak ekledim: "Ona da tıpkı sizin gibi, hem de aynı amaçla bir eğe gerekiyordu. Dün geceki topları duymadınız mı?"
Adam kendi kendine, "Demek gerçekten top sesiymiş," diye mırıldandı.
"Şaşılacak şey! Nasıl bilemezsiniz? Biz taa evden duyduk. Evimiz buradan çok daha uzakta. Üstüne üstlük de içerideydik."
"Bak anlatayım, evlat," dedi adam. "İnsan bu kırlarda, yorgunlukt | -0.32384 | -2.089952 | -1.621551 | -1.309405 | [
-0.41321147809714004,
-0.23446883461280177
] | [
-2.1042773968878064,
-2.075627339586851
] | [
-1.6595948175079545,
-1.5835075867464263
] | [
-1.3432224388674283,
-1.2755868118928533
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an başı dönmüş, soğuktan canı çıkmış, boş mideyle dolaşırken gece boyu kulakları vınlar durur, toplar atılıyormuş gibi gelir adama, ona sesleniyorlarmış gibi gelir. Duymak ne demek? Askerlerin kendini kuşattıklarını resmen görür; havaya kaldırılmış meşalelerin ışığında al al ışıyan üniformalarıyla... Numarasının okunduğunu, adının çağrıldığını duyar, tüfek şakırtıları arasında komutlar yükselir: 'Hazır ol. Silah çak. Tam üstüne nişan alın, çocuklar!' Eller yapışır yakana! Oysa hiçbir şey yoktur ortada. Anasını sattığım, dün gece bir bölük değil, yüz bölük gördüm ben, peşime düşmüşlerdi; yaklaştıkça yaklaşıyorlardı düzenli adımlarla, rap rap rap, yere batasıcalar... Top seslerine gelince, kaç kez güpegündüz sisler dalgalanıyormuş gibi geldi, top gümbürtüsünden... Neyse, sen şu adamı anlat bana." Dostum bundan öncekileri ben orada değilmişim de, kendi kendine konuşurmuş gibi söylemişti. Şimdi bana dönerek, "Dikkatini çeken bir şey var mıydı görünümünde?" diye sordu.
Bildiğimi kendim bile doğru dürüst bilmediğim bir şeyi anımsayarak, "Yüzü pek kötü yara bere içindeydi," dedim.
Adam kendi sol yanağına avucunun ayasıyla acımasız bir şaplak vurarak, "Bu yanı mı yoksa?" diye sordu.
"Evet; o yanıydı."
"Nerede o?" diyerek dostum son kalan birkaç lokma yiyeceği o boz ceketinin içine, koynuna sokuşturdu. "Hangi yana gitti, göster bana. Tazı gibi peşinden gidip paçasını aşağı alacağım onun. Tanrı şu acıyan bacağımdaki demiri kahretsin! Evlat, uzat şu eğeyi bana, gözünü seveyim!"
Sislerin öteki adamı hangi yönde yuttuğunu gösterdim; o şöyle bir başını kaldırıp o yana baktı. Ama pis kokulu ıslak otların arasına çökmüş, ayağındaki demiri deliler gibi törpülemeye başlamıştı bile. Beni de, demirin sürtünmesinden berelenip kanlanmış olan kendi bacağını da unutmuş gibiydi. Öyle ki bacağını, elindeki eğe gibi cansız bir nesneymişçesine tartaklıyordu. Bu çılgın telaşını gördükçe ondan gene korkmaya başlamıştım. Evden bunca zamandır uzak kalmış olduğum için de korkuyordum. Artık git | -0.381709 | -1.896564 | -1.672276 | -1.236566 | [
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mem gerek diye söyledim ona; oralı bile olmayınca, en iyisi sessizce sıvışıp kaçmak, diye düşündüm. Son baktığımda iki büklüm, başını dizinin üstüne eğmiş, var gücüyle ayağındaki kösteği eğeliyor, bir yandan da mırıl mırıl hem bu kösteğe, hem de kendi ayağına lanetler okuyordu. Sislerin arasında son kez durup kulak kabarttığımda eğenin hâlâ demire sürtünüp durduğunu duydum.
# 4
Eve döndüğümde, mutfakta beni tutuklamak için bekleyen bir jandarma bulacağımdan hiç kuşkum yoktu. Ama görünürlerde jandarma filan olmadığı gibi yaptığım hırsızlık da henüz ortaya çıkmamıştı. Ablam Mrs. Joe, eteği belinde bir hamaratlıkla kendini Noel Bayramı'nın hazırlıklarına kaptırmış, Joe'yu da, ayağı takılıp faraşı dökmesin diye kapı dışına çıkarmıştı. Çünkü ablam ne zaman evinin yerlerini kazırcasına ovup temizlemeye başlasa, ters bir alın yazısı Joe'yu eninde sonunda faraşın içine iterdi.
Vicdanımla ben eşikte belirdiğim zaman ablam, "Hangi cehennemdeydin sen?" diye bayramımı kutladı.
Noel ilahilerini dinlemeye gittiğimi söyledim.
Ablam, "Neyse, bambaşka bir maymunluk da yapabilirdin," dedi.
Ha şunu bileydin, diye geçirdim içimden.
Ablam, "Ben de bir demirci parçasının karısı olmayaydım o zaman böyle her gün, önümde önlüğüm, köleler gibi didinmek zorunda kalmazdım da, belki ben de gidip ilahileri dinlerdim," dedi. "Noel ilahilerini pek severim. Bu yüzden midir nedir, gidip dinlemek bir türlü nasip olmaz."
Faraş önümüz sıra ortadan çekildiği için Joe'cuk mutfağa girmeyi sonunda göze almıştı. Elini bir yatıştırma, barışma işaretiyle, şöyle bir burnunun üstünden geçiriyordu ki karısı ondan yana bir bakıştır baktı. Gözlerini öteye çevirdiği zaman da Joe iki parmağını gizlice birbirine çaprazlayarak bana gösterdi. Bu bizim aramızda Mrs. Joe'nun huysuz ve kızgın olduğu anlamına gelirdi. Ablam da her zaman kızgın ve huysuz olduğu için Joe ile ben kimi zaman haftalar haftası (çapraz bacaklı Haçlı heykelleri gibi) parmaklarımız üst üste binmiş durumda gezerdik.
Domuz budu salamurasıyla çeşitli sebzeler ve bir çift fırınlanmış | -0.620032 | -1.796289 | -1.502348 | -1.253475 | [
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hindi dolmasından oluşmuş ağzınıza layık bir bayram yemeği yiyecektik. Daha bir önceki sabahtan mis gibi bir _mincepie_3 yapılmıştı (üzümle cevizlerdeki eksilmenin anlaşılmamasını da buna borçluydum ya), puding çoktan kaynamaya konmuştu. Bu ayrıntılı hazırlıklar yüzünden bizim kahvaltı araya karıştı.
"Dünyada bir enayi ben kalmadım," diyordu ablam. "Önümde bunca işim dururken bir de siz ziftlenesiniz diye sabah sabah sofralar kurarak sonra da bulaşıklar yıkayacak değilim ya!"
Böylece evde kahvaltı eden bir erkekle çocuk değil de zoraki yürüyüşe çıkartılan iki bin askermişiz gibi, ekmek dilimlerimiz ellerimize tutuşturuldu. Çekmeceli dolabın üstündeki sürahiden, yüzlerimizde suçlu, özür dileyen bakışlarla süt yudumlayıp çarçabuk yuttuk.
Bu arada Mrs. Joe temiz, kar gibi perdeler asmış, ocağın bacasının önündeki fırfırı çıkartıp yepyeni, çiçekli olanını takmıştı. Sonra koridorun karşısındaki küçük, yasak konuk odasını açtı. Ancak önemli olaylar hatırına açılan bu oda, yılın geri kalan günlerini gümüş kâğıtların serin sisleri arasında geçirirdi. Bu gümüş kâğıtlar, şöminenin üzerindeki topraktan yapılma dört küçük köpek biblosunu da gözden gizlerdi. Ağızlarında birer çiçek sepeti tutan bu kara burunlu, pamuk gibi apak köpeciklerin dördü de birbirlerine tıpatıp eşti. Ablam temiz mi temiz bir ev kadınıydı; ne var ki temizliğini pislikten daha tedirgin edici, daha sevimsiz yapıp çıkmakta da pek hünerliydi. Temizlik imandan gelir, derler ya... kimi kişiler de ablamın temizlik konusunda gösterdiği hüneri din konusunda becerirler.
İşi başından aşkın olduğu için ablam kiliseye temsilci yolluyordu. Kısacası Joe ile ben gidiyorduk. İş kılığıyla Joe, tam işinin eri, sırım gibi bir demirci ustasıydı. Bayramlıklarını giydiği zamansa hali vakti yerinde bir korkuluğu andırırdı. Giydikleri üstüne oturmaz, eğretiymiş gibi durur, derisini tırmalayıp kaşındırırdı. Bugün de dışarıda kıvançlı Noel çanları çalınırken, Joe odasından bayramlık işkence takımlarını giymiş olarak çıktı: içler acısı bir tablo.
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13
] | 1,334,895 | 23,552 | Book | -1 | -1 |
Bana gelince... ablamın gözünde ben, Çocuk Bürosu'ndan birinin getirip bıraktığı genç bir suçlu filan olmalıydım; yasa denilen yüce kurulun hışmına uğramış, buna göre çekilip çevrilmesi gereken biri. Mantık, din, ahlak kurallarına aykırı olarak, dahası, en yakın dostlarımın beni caydırmak için verdikleri tüm öğütleri kulak arkası ederek, ille de dünyaya gelmekte direnmişim gibi davranırdı bana hep. Yeni bir takım diktirteceği zaman bile terziye, ıslahevi üniformasına benzeyen ve kollarımla bacaklarımın rahatça oynayabilmesini kesinlikle önleyen, cendere gibi bir şeyler dikmesini söylerdi.
Bu yüzden şimdi düşünüyorum da Joe ile benim birlikte kiliseye gidişimiz, iyi yürekli kişilerin içlerini parçalayan bir görünüm olsa gerekti. Gene de dışarıda çektiklerim, içimi kemiren kuruntuların yanında hiç kalırdı. Ablam ne zaman kilerin yakınından geçse ya da mutfaktan dışarı çıksa duyduğum korkunun büyüklüğü ancak, elimin yapmış olduğu iş karşısında usumun kapıldığı pişmanlıkla ölçülebilirdi. İşlediğim gizli günahın yüküyle ezilmiş, bu günahı açığa vurursam kilise beni o korkunç genç adamın öcünden koruyabilecek güçte midir ki, diye kara kara düşünüyordum. Evlenme bildirileri okunduktan sonra papaz efendinin, "Şimdi gerçeği söyleyeceksiniz!" diye seslendiği sırada benim ayağa kalkarak, "Sizinle arkada bir görüşme yapmak istiyorum," dememin yerinde ve uygun olacağını kafama takmıştım. Böyle aşırı bir çıkışı gerçekten yapsaydım, kilisemizin küçük cemaatini kim bilir nasıl bir şaşkınlığa uğratırdım!
Kilise yazmanı Mr. Wopsle, tekerlekçi ustası Mr. Hubble ile Mrs. Hubble, bir de Pumblechook Amca (Joe' nun amcasıydı ama ona ablam el koymuştu) Noel yemeğine bize geleceklerdi. Pumblechook Amca bize en yakın kasabada oturan, kendi sürdüğü özel paytonu olan varlıklı bir darı tüccarıydı.
Yemek, saat bir buçukta yenecekti. Eve döndüğümüzde sofra kurulmuş, ablam hazırlanmış, yemek hazırlanmakta, sokak kapısının (başka zamanlarda hep kapalı duran) kilidi konukların geçebilmesi için açılmış, her yer süslenip püslenmişti. Hırsızlık konusuna da | -0.338564 | -1.885821 | -1.768653 | -1.43427 | [
-0.18995438317034208,
-0.48717395126307306
] | [
-1.946702081732551,
-1.82493933820349
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-1.8878565097925388,
-1.6494498534064175
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-1.3796416226229686,
-1.4888991738895898
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] | 1,334,895 | 24,576 | Book | -1 | -1 |
hâlâ değinildiği yoktu.
Yemek saati, içimi rahatlatamadan gelip çattı, sonra konuklar sökün etti. Mr. Wopsle'ın, eski Roma yontularını andırır burnuyla geniş, çıplak, parıl parıl alnının yanı sıra davudi bir sesi vardı. Kendisi bu sesle öylesine övünürdü ki bildiğiniz gibi değil! İşin doğrusu, hele bir, "Hodri meydan," deyiverseler dua okuyup vaaz vermekte papaz efendiye taş çıkartıp onu çatır çatır çatlatacağını en yakın arkadaşları bilirlerdi. Dahası, papazlık herkese açık (yani rekabete) bir meslek olsa, bu alanda kendini gösterebileceğine inandığını, Mr. Wopsle kendisi söylerdi. Papazlık herkese açık bir meslek olmadığından Mr. Wopsle, önceden de söylediğim gibi, kilisemizin yazmanıydı. Bunun acısını da sesinin var gücüyle çektiği "amin"lerden çıkarırdı. Okunacak olan duayı bildirirken dizeleri ille baştan sona okurdu. Ama önce bakışlarını kilisedekilerin üzerinde uzun uzun gezdirerek, sanki, "Kürsüdeki dostumuzu dinlediniz; şimdi de benim okuyuşumu bir dinleyin hele; bakalım nasıl bulacaksınız," demeye getirirdi.
Sokak kapısını (her gün yaptığım bir şeymişçesine) konuklara ben açtım. Önce Mr. Wopsle'a, sonra Mr. ve Mrs. Hubble'a, en sonunda da Pumblechook Amca'ya açtım. Not: Benim onun yüzüne karşı "Amca" demem, en ağır ceza korkutmacalarıyla yasaklanmıştı.
"Mrs. Joe," diye söze girişen Pumblechook Amca, iriyarı, orta yaşlı, zor nefes alan, hantal bir adamdı. Balığa benzeyen ağzı, donuk, fırlak gözleri, kafasında diken diken duran kızılımsı kumral saçlarıyla, biraz önce boğazlanmış da yeni yeni kendine gelmekteymiş sanırdınız... "Şu kutsal günler adına size bir şişe beyaz İspanyol şarabı getirdim, hanımefendi; üstüne üstlük bir şişe de Porto şarabı getirdim, hanımefendi."
Her Noel günü gelip kendini (hep bu sözlerle) görülmedik, duyulmadık bir matahmış gibi bizlere sunması bir gelenek olup çıkmıştı. İki şişeyi de iki elinde jimnastik güllesi taşırcasına tutardı.
Her Noel günü ablam da, tıpkı şimdi yaptığı gibi, "Ah, Pum-ble-chook Amcacığım! Ne zahmetler ettiniz böyle!" derdi.
Gene her Noel günü P | -0.401569 | -1.778383 | -1.692566 | -1.371838 | [
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umblechook, gene şimdiki gibi, "Ayıp ettin, hanımefendi, verecek senden iyisini mi bulacağım?" derdi. Sonra da, "Ee, iyisiniz ya, umarım?" diye sorardı. "Ya bizim ufaklık nasıl, bakalım?" Ufaklık dediği bendim.
Böyle günlerde yemeğimizi mutfakta yer, sıra elmalarla portakallara, kuruyemişlere gelince konuk odasına geçerdik. Konuk odasının uğradığı değişim de, Joe'nun iş kılığını çıkartıp bayramlıklarını giyince uğradığı değişikliğe benziyordu.
Bugün ablamın pek bir neşesi üstündeydi. Zaten kendisi Mrs. Hubble'ın yanındayken başka zamanlara oranla daha güler yüzlü, tatlı dilli olurdu. Mrs. Hubble'ı gök mavileri içinde ufak tefek, kıvır kıvır, keskin hatlı bir kadın olarak anımsarım. Benim bilemeyeceğim kadar eski bir geçmişte, kendinden çok yaşlı olan Mr. Hubble ile evlendiği için, o gün bugündür toplumdaki genç kızlık rolünü sürdüregelmişti. Mr. Hubble'ı ise dik omuzlu, gene de kamburcana, tatlı tatlı talaş kokan yaşlı bir adam olarak anımsıyorum. Bacaklarını ayırabildiğince ayırıp durmak zorundaydı. Öyle ki boyumun kısa olduğu küçüklük günlerimde onunla kır yollarında karşılaştığım zaman bacaklarının arasından uçsuz bucaksız kırlar, çayırlar görürdüm.
O sabah kileri soymuş olmasam bile bu üstün topluluğun arasında kendimi yadırgardım sanıyorum. Yok, sofranın en ucunda, masanın sivri köşesi bağrımı delerek sıkışıp kalmış olduğumdan değil; Pumblechook'un dirseğiyle gözümü oyup durmasından değil; konuşmama izin verilmeyişinden değil (zaten konuşmak istemiyordum ki) payıma hindi bacaklarının en sert derili, pürüzlü uçlarıyla domuzun yaşarken bile övünç duymuş olamayacağı, adı anılmaz, dip bucak yerleri düşmüş olduğundan da değil. Yok, bunların hepsi vız gelirdi bana, yeter ki beni rahat bıraksınlardı. Ne gezer! Bir dakika bile rahat bırakmıyorlardı beni. Lafı döndürüp dolaştırıp bana getirmeseler, durup durup beni iğnelemeseler günaha girerlerdi sanki! Bütün bu iğneli laflarla öylesine canım yanarak delik deşik oldum ki arenada şansı yaver gitmeyen bir küçük İspanyol boğasına döndüm, diyebilirim | -0.678929 | -1.875077 | -1.682421 | -1.444676 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 26,624 | Book | -1 | -1 |
.
Sofraya oturur oturmaz işkence başladı. Mr. Wopsle geleneksel şükran duasını öyle bir tumturaklı okudu ki tiyatro sahnesindeymiş de _Hamlet_ 'teki hayaletle Kral III. Richard rolünün dinsel bir bileşimini yapıyormuş sanırdınız. Duayı Mr. Wopsle, hepimizin "minnettar olmamızın gerektiğini" belirten pek yerinde bir dilekle sona erdirdi. Bunun üzerine ablam gözlerini bana dikerek alçak, dargın bir sesle, "Duydun mu?" dedi. "Minnettar olacaksın."
Mr. Pumblechook da, "Hele seni kendi elcağızlarıyla büyütenlere karşı özellikle minnettar olacaksın, evlat," dedi.
Mrs. Hubble başını iki yana salladı, sonumun kötü olacağı şimdiden içine doğarmış gibi yaslı yaslı beni süzerek, "Çocuklar minnet duymasını neden hiç bilmezler dersiniz?" diye sordu.
Bu ahlak sorunu sofra başındakilerin çözümleyemeyeceği kadar karmaşık olsa gerek ki herkes susuyordu. Sonunda Mr. Hubble ters bir sesle, "Yaradılıştan kötüdürler de ondan," diye kestirip atarak bilmeceyi çözdü.
O zaman hepsi, "Pek doğru," diyerek benden yana çirkin, anlamlı bakışlarla baktılar.
Joe'nun ev içindeki önem ve ağırlığı, konuk olduğu zamanlar, olmadığı zamanlara oranla daha da düşerdi. (Gerçi durumundaki düşme payı yok denecek kadar azdı ya, neyse.) Gene de Joe bir fırsatını bulabildiği zaman bana kendince yardım ve avuntu eli uzatmaktan geri kalmazdı. Sofra başındayken bana yardımla avuntu sunmasının yolu ise tabağıma bol bol et sulu sos koymaktı. Sofrada varsa elbet. Bugün bol bol sos olduğundan konuşmanın bu aşamasında Joe benim tabağıma yarım kilo kadar sos koydu.
Daha sonra Mr. Wopsle papazın Noel vaazını oldukça sert bir dille eleştirerek her zamanki gibi, "papazlık herkese açık bir meslek olsa" kendisinin nasıl bir Noel vaazı vereceğine değindi. Masadakilere bu vaaz taslağının konu başlıklarını anlatmak lütfunda bulunduktan sonra bugünkü vaazın çok kötü seçilmiş olduğu görüşünü belirtti. Hele ortalıkta Noel konuşmalarına konu olacak durum ve olaylar "böyle" kaynaşıp dururken papaz efendinin kilisede yapmış olduğu konuşmanın hiç mi hiç bağışlanamayacağını ekledi.
Pumblechook Amca, "Her zamanki gibi pek doğru buyurdunuz; tam üstüne bastınız, bayım," dedi. "Ortalı | -0.671395 | -1.45607 | -1.555609 | -1.367935 | [
-0.42553855695812887,
-0.9172520359686839
] | [
-1.366538421388202,
-1.5456012795191738
] | [
-1.5530726944418152,
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] | [
-1.2625799605515888,
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] | 1,334,895 | 27,648 | Book | -1 | -1 |
k vaaz konusu olacak sorunlarla kaynıyor, yeter ki insan bu sorunlara kancayı takmaktan çekinmesin... Zaten bize gereken de bu ya. Kancan elinde hazır olduktan sonra, vaaz konusu için ne diye uzaklara gidesin?" Kısa bir düşünce sürecinden sonra Mr. Pumblechook, "Şu domuz etine bakın, yeter," diye ekledi. "İşte size dört dörtlük bir konu! Konu mu arıyorsunuz, domuz etine bakın!"
Mr. Wopsle, "Pek doğru, efendim," diye yanıtladı. Sonra (konuya beni karıştıracağını ben zaten biliyordum), "Bu domuz etinden çocukların alabileceği nice nice yaşam dersleri vardır," diye ekledi.
Ablam sert bir parantez içinde, "Can kulağıyla dinle sen bunları," diye fısıldadı.
Joe tabağıma biraz daha sos koydu.
Mr. Wopsle en davudi sesiyle, "Domuz," diye konuşmasını sürdürürken beni öz adımla çağırırcasına çatalını, kıpkırmızı kesilen yüzüme doğru kaldırmıştı. "Domuz denen hayvan eski zamanlarda hayırsızların yoldaşıymış. Domuzların pisboğazlığı bizlere oldum olası çocukların oburluğuna örnek olarak gösterilir." (İyi be, diye düşündüm; domuz etinin yumuşacık, ağızda dağıldığını daha demin söyleyen kendisi değildi sanki!) "Domuzlarda insanı iğrendiren bir huy erkek çocuklarda daha da iğrençtir."
Mr. Hubble, "Kız çocuklarda da öyle," diye araya girdi.
Mr. Wopsle biraz sinirlenerek, "Elbet kız çocuklarda da öyle, Mr. Hubble," diye karşısındakinin sözlerini onayladı. "Ama aramızda kız çocuğu yok ki."
Mr. Pumblechook sertçe benden yana dönerek, "Hem zaten otur kalk, Tanrı'ya şükretmekten geri kalma," dedi. "Ya dünyaya domuz olarak gelseydin?"
Ablam, "Geldi zaten," diye kesinlikle konuştu. "Bundan daha domuz bir velet gelmemiştir dünyaya."
Joe tabağıma biraz daha sos koydu.
Mr. Pumblechook, "Dört bacaklı domuzlardan demek istiyorum," dedi. "Eğer dünyaya o türden bir domuz olarak gelseydin şimdi burada olabilir miydin ki? Ne gezer..."
"Bu biçimde olmadığı sürece," diye Mr. Wopsle başını tabaktaki domuz etinden yana salladı.
Sözünün kesilmesine hiç gelemeyen Mr. Pumblechook, "Ama ben o biçimi demek istemiyorum, bayım," dedi. "Benim demek istediğim, şimdi böyle kendinden hem yaşça, hem akılca üstün kimselerin arası | -0.773436 | -1.606483 | -1.347637 | -1.572143 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 28,672 | Book | -1 | -1 |
nda gülüp söyleyerek büyüklerinin konuşmalarından yararlanabilir miydi? Böyle bir eli yağda, bir eli balda, lordlar gibi yaşayabilir miydi? Ha? Sorarım size? Elbette ki hayır!" Gene benden yana döndü: "O zaman sonun ne olurdu, biliyor musun? Malın piyasadaki fiyatına göre, üç-beş kuruşa elden çıkarırlardı seni. Derken, sen samanların arasında debelenirken kasap Dunstable gelip seni tuttuğu gibi sol koltuğunun altına sıkıştırır, sağ eliyle önlüğünü kaldırıp yelek cebinden bir çakı çıkarır, oracıkta kanını akıtıp canını alırdı senin. O zaman da böyle ablanın kendi elcağızıyla, gül gibi büyütülmeyi zor bulurdun sen, küçükbey, zor!"
Joe bana biraz daha sos vermeye davrandıysa da ben almaktan çekindim.
Mrs. Hubble, ablamın dertlerini paylaşmak amacıyla, "Ah, kardeş, sen kaç türlü eziyetlerle bu yaşa getirdin onu," diye baş salladı.
"Eziyet mi?" dedi ablam bir yankı gibi. "Eziyet mi dedin?" Sonra benim, onun başına açtığım bütün dertlerin tüyler ürpertici bir listesini çıkarmaya girişti: Tüm hastalık sabıkalarımı, işlediğim tüm uyumsuzluk suçlarını, üzerinden düştüğüm yüksek yerlerle içine yuvarlandığım alçak yerleri, kendisinin bana, "Geber," deyip de benim salt onu çatlatmak için bu sözü tutmadığım zamanları, kendi kendimi kaç kez yaralayıp berelediğimi birer birer saydı, döktü.
Eski Romalılar burunlarıyla birbirlerini nasıl sinirlendiriyorlardı kim bilir? Belki de sonunda öyle dirliksiz bir toplum olup çıkmaları bu yüzdendir. Onları bilemem elbet, ama benim yaramazlıklarımla kusurlarımın sayılıp dökülüşü sırasında Mr. Wopsle'ın o eski Romalı burnu öylesine sinirime dokundu ki, içimden onu bağırtana dek bu burnu çekmek geldi.
Öte yandan o zamana dek bütün çektiklerim, içime bundan sonra düşen korkunun yanında hiç kalırdı. Ablamın konuşmasını bir sessizlik izlemiş, bu arada herkes dönüp bana bakmıştı. (Bu bakışların öfke ve ayıplamayla dolu olduğunu bildiğimden yerin dibine geçmiştim.) Gelgelelim gerçek işkence kısa süren bu sessizliğin kesilmesiyle başladı.
Mr. Pumblechook sofradakileri usulca deminki konuya doğru yönelterek, "Gene de," diye fikir yürüttü. "Sa | -0.665232 | -1.842846 | -1.553073 | -1.361432 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 29,696 | Book | -1 | -1 |
frası bol olduğu söylenen domuz eti... biraz... ağırcana sayılır; öyle değil mi?"
Ablam, "Bizim brendiden biraz buyurmaz mısınız, amcacığım?" dedi.
Ulu Tanrım, işte, en sonunda, olan olmuştu! Pumblechook Amca sulandırılmış olduğunu anlayacak, ortalık yerde söyleyecek, benim de hesabım görülecekti! Örtünün altından yemek masasının bacağına iki elimle yapışarak başıma gelecekleri bekledim.
Ablam testiyi almaya gitti, elinde testisiyle geldi, Pumblechook Amca'ya brendi doldurdu. Ondan başka içen yoktu. Pis adam, bardağını elinde evirip çevirip duruyordu. Sapından tutup kaldırıyor, ışığa tutup bakıyor, sonra gene masanın üstüne bırakarak çektiğim işkenceyi uzatıyordu. Bu arada ablam ile Joe da çabuk çabuk sofrayı toplayarak payla pudinge yer açıyorlardı.
Gözlerimi Pumblechook'tan ayıramıyordum. Masanın bacağına iki elim ve ayağımla sımsıkı yapışmış oturduğum yerden, karşıki sefil yaratığın kadehiyle oynadığını, eline alıp gülümsediğini, başını arkaya atarak brendiyi dibine kadar içtiğini gördüm.
Bir saniye sonra sofradakiler anlatılmaz bir telaşla dövünmeye başlamışlardı. Çünkü genzine brendi kaçan Pumblechook Amca yerinden fırlamış, kesik kesik öhö' lerle, ürkütücü bir öksürük dansı yaparak fırıldak gibi dönüp duruyordu. Derken kapıdan dışarı fırladı, az sonra da onu pencereden gördük: Şiddetle sendeleyip yüzünü korkunç biçimlerde buruşturarak içi dışına çıkarcasına öksürmekteydi. Aklını oynatmış gibiydi.
Ben masanın bacağını bırakmıyordum. Ablam ile Joe dışarıya koştular. Nasıl yapıp ettiğimi bilmiyordum, ama Pumblechook Amca'yı öldürmüş olduğumdan hiç kuşkum yoktu. Ben de yarı ölü bir durumdaydım. Joe ile ablamın, amcayı sapasağlam geri getirdiklerini görünce rahatladım. Pumblechook Amca odadakileri, kendisine karşı çıkan varmış gibi ters ters süzüp sandalyesine çökerek tıkanık, hırıltılı bir solukla tek bir sözcük söyledi:
"Katran!"
Testinin içine katran suyu boşaltmışım, demek. Amcanın gitgide kötüleşeceğini biliyordum. Masayı, şarlatan zamane medyumları gibi, örtünün alt | -0.717279 | -1.645876 | -1.619015 | -1.410858 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 30,720 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ındaki el ve ayaklarımla gizlice ittirdim.
"Katran mı?" diye ablamın ağzı şaşkınlıktan bir karış açık kalmıştı. "Ayol katran nerden girmiş oraya?"
Ne var ki şu sırada mutfakta koşulsuz egemen olan Pumblechook Amca artık katranın lafını bile duymak istemediğinden elinin şahane bir hareketiyle konuyu kapadı, sıcak suyla cin istedi. Derin düşüncelere dalarak içime korku salmaya başlamış olan ablam şimdi sıcak suyu, cini, şekeri, limon kabuğunu getirmek, sonra da hepsini karıştırmak için koşuşturup duruyordu. Hiç değilse şimdilik yakayı kurtarmıştım. Hâlâ masanın bacağına sarılmış duruyordum, ama bu sarılışımda şimdi şükran duygusunun ateşi vardı.
İçimdeki korkular yavaş yavaş yatıştıkça masanın bacağını bırakıp pudingin ucundan yemeye giriştim. Mr. Pumblechook da puding yiyordu. Herkes puding yemekteydi. Sonunda puding bittiği zaman sıcak, şekerli cinin dost etkisi altında Pumblechook Amca'nın yüzü gülmeye başlamıştı. Ben de günü olaysız atlatacağımı ummaya başlamıştım ki ablam Joe'ya dönerek, "Tabakları değiştir," dedi.
Demesiyle gene masanın bacağına sarılmam, masa bacağını can yoldaşım, dert ortağımmışçasına bağrıma basmam bir oldu. Başıma gelecekleri, bu kez işimin gerçekten bitik olduğunu biliyordum.
"Tadına bakmanızı istediğim bir şey var," diyerek ablam en kibar gülümseyişiyle konuklarına döndü. "En sona sakladım, çünkü Pumblechook Amcamızın ağzına layık bir armağanı bu! Öyle bir sevindirdi ki bizi, sizin de tadına bakmanızı istiyorum."
İste isteyebildiğin kadar. Avuçlarını yalayacaklarını ben biliyordum!
Ablam ayağa kalkarak, "Söylemeden edemeyeceğim," dedi. "Etli bir pay. Hem de domuz etinin en lezzetli yerlerinden yapılmış, baharatlı pay."
Sofradakiler övgü sözleri mırıldandılar. İnsan soydaşlarının hayranlığını fazlasıyla hak etmiş olduğuna inanan ve (tüm olup bitenlere karşın) neşesi yerinde olan Pumblechook Amca, "Biz elimizden geleni ardımıza komayız, hanımefendi," dedi. "Hele şu senin dediğin paya bir yumulalım, bakalım."
Ablam payı almaya çıktı. Ayak seslerinin kilere | -0.550864 | -1.441745 | -1.431333 | -1.314607 | [
-0.6460563010269292,
-0.4556714163961016
] | [
-1.423838535990113,
-1.4596511076163075
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-1.46684049957875,
-1.3958257508679905
] | [
-1.3796416226229686,
-1.2495731092103246
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doğru ilerlediğini işitiyordum. Mr. Pumblechook'un bıçağını kaldırıp dengelediğini gördüm. Mr. Wopsle'ın o Romalı burun deliklerinin, tazelenen bir iştahla kabardığı gözümden kaçmamıştı. Mr. Hubble'ın "baharatlı, etli payın üstüne olmadığını, hiç de ağırlık yapmadığını" söylediği kulağıma çalındı. Joe'nun, "Sana da ayırttım, Pip," dediğini duydum. O gün bugündür hâlâ kesinlikle bilemem: O tiz korku çığlığı yalnızca içimde mi koptu, yoksa herkesin duyabileceği gibi yüksek sesle mi haykırdım? Dayanacak gücümün kalmadığını, kaçmak zorunda olduğumu düşünüyordum. Masanın bacağını bırakarak can havliyle koşmaya başladım.
Ne var ki sokak kapısından ileri geçemedim. Çünkü orada kendimi elleri tüfekli bir sürü askerle çevrilmiş buldum. Askerlerden biri bana doğru bir kelepçe uzatarak, "Hey, bastığın yere baksana sen! Gel buraya bakayım!" dedi.
3. İngilizlerin geleneksel olarak Noel'de pişirdikleri tatlı pay. Haçlı Seferi'nden dönenler sayesinde tarife kıyma, meyve ve baharat da eklenmiştir. (Y.N.)
# 5
Kapı önünde birden, dopdolu tüfeklerin dipçikleriyle rap rap yere vuran bir sıra askerin belirivermesiyle sofra başındakiler apar topar yerlerinden fırladılar. Tam o sırada eli boş, ahlar vahlar halde mutfaktan dönen ablam da zınk diye durup yaygarasını yarı yerde keserek şaşkın şaşkın bakakalmıştı.
Ablam kaldığı yerde bakadursun, teğmenle ben mutfağa girmiştik. Durumun ivediliği benim aklımı biraz başıma getirir gibi olmuştu. Teğmen şimdi sol elini benim omzuma atmış, sağ elindeki kelepçeyi buyur edercesine sallayarak odadakileri süzmekteydi.
"Özür dilerim hanımefendiler beyefendiler," diye söze başladı. "Demin kapıda bu küçük şeytana da söylediğim gibi (söylemiş olsaydı bari!) Kral adına bir suçlunun peşindeyim. Demirci ustasını istiyorum."
Herhangi birinin Joe'yu istediğini duyunca siniri oynayan ablam hemen, "Demirci ustasını neden istiyorsunuz ki?" diye terslendi.
Hanımlara nasıl davranılacağını bilen, tatlı dilli, çenebaz teğmen, "Hanımefendi," diye yanıtladı. "Bana kalsa demirci ustası | -0.628251 | -1.724664 | -1.373 | -1.297698 | [
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nı, hanımıyla tanışmanın onur ve kıvancını tatmak için arıyorum, derdim; ama Kral adına konuştuğum için demirci ustasından ufak bir iş istemek zorundayım."
Teğmenin bu yanıtı odadakilerin öyle hoşuna gitti ki Pumblechook Amca yüksek sesle, "Bravo!" diye bir aferin çekti.
Bu arada Joe'yu seçmiş olan teğmen, "Bak usta, bu kelepçenin başına bir kaza geldi," dedi. "Birinin kilidi dönmediğinden birbirine geçiremiyorum. Hemen de gerekli olduklarından bir zahmet bakıverir misin şunlara?"
Joe kelepçeye bir zahmet bakıvererek bu iş için ocağı yakması gerekeceğini, onarımının da bir saatten çok, iki saatten az bir zaman alacağını bildirdi.
Tasasız bir adam olan teğmen, "Öyle ha? Hemencecik başlayıverir misin öyleyse?" diye sordu. "Ne yaparsın, Kral'ın işi işte. Ha, usta, adamlarımın elinden gelecek bir şey varsa söyle, sana yardım etsinler."
Böyle diyerek adamlarını çağırdı. Erler birbiri ardından odaya girerek silahlarını bir köşeye yığdılar. Sonra ne yapacaklarını bilemeyerek ortalık yerde kalakaldılar. Asker işte; ellerini önlerinde kavuşturuyor, derken omuzlarını duvara dayayıp dizlerini büküyor, kemer ya da mataralarını gevşetiyor, daha olmadı kapıyı açıp kafalarını yüksek boyunluklarının üzerinden uzatarak dışarıya, avluya tükürüyorlardı.
Bütün bunları tam olarak kavramaksızın görüyordum, çünkü korkunun işkencesiyle kıvranmaktaydım. Neyse ki kelepçenin bana takılmayacağını, askerlerin şimdilik daha baskın çıkıp payı geri plana itmiş olduklarını gördükçe aklımı biraz başıma toplamaya başlamıştım.
Teğmen, Pumblechook Amca'ya dönerek, "Lütfen saati söyleyebilir misiniz?" dedi.
Öyle ya, Pumblechook Amca'nın saat sorulabilecek, verdiği yanıta da güvenilebilecek bir adam olduğu üstünden akıyordu.
"İki buçuğu biraz geçiyor."
Teğmen biraz düşünerek, "Geç sayılmaz," dedi. "Burada iki saat beklemek zorunda bile kalsak gene iyidir. Bu yöredeki bataklıklardan ne kadar uzaktadır, sizin köy? Bir buçuk, iki kilometreden çok olmasa gerek, hesabımca?"
Ablam, "Bir buçuk kilometre kadardır," dedi.
"İyi iyi. Alacakaranlık bastığı sırada kuşatırız | -0.676189 | -1.785546 | -1.380608 | -1.371838 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 33,792 | Book | -1 | -1 |
onları. Karanlık basmadan hemen önce, diyor aldığımız komutta. Yetişiriz."
Mr. Wopsle üstünde durmazcasına, "Kürek mahkûmları ha, teğmenim?" diye sordu.
"Öyle," diye yanıtladı teğmen. "İki tanesi birden. Hâlâ bataklıklarda olduklarına yüzde doksan inanıyoruz. Karanlık basmazdan önce kaçmaya kalkmazlar. İçinizde bu mahpushane kaçkınlarını gören filan var mı?"
Benim dışımda herkes yürekten, hayır, dedi. Bana sormaksa kimsenin aklına gelmedi.
Teğmen, "Bu kadar çabuk kuşatılacaklarını hiç akıllarına getirmemişlerdir, sanırım," diyordu. "Haydi bakalım, usta, başlamaya hazırsan Kral'ın işi seni bekliyor."
Joe ceketiyle yeleğini, boyunbağını çıkardı, deri önlüğünü takarak dükkâna geçti. Askerin biri dükkânın tahta kepenklerini açtı, öbürü ateşi yaktı, bir üçüncüsü körüğü çalıştırdı. Geri kalanlar çok geçmeden harıl harıl yanmaya başlayan alevlerin çevresinde toplandılar. Joe çekiciyle tik tak, örse vurmaya başladı. Bizler de hepimiz onu seyrediyorduk.
Biraz sonra başlayacak olan kovalamacanın uyandırdığı ilgi yalnızca herkesin dikkatini bu konu üstünde toplamakla kalmamış, ablama da görülmedik bir cömertlik vermişti. Fıçıdan erler için koca bir sürahi bira doldurdu, teğmene de bir bardak brendi isteyip istemediğini sordu.
Ne var ki Mr. Pumblechook hemencecik, "Ona bir bardak şarap verin hanımefendi!" diye araya girdi. "Şarabın katransız olduğuna ben kalıbımı basıyorum."
Teğmen ona teşekkür etti; içkilerini katransız sevdiğinden, zahmet olmazsa bir bardak şarap içeceğini söyledi. Eline verilen bardağı Kral'ın sağlığına ve Noel onuruna kaldırarak bir yudumda içti, sonra hafifçe dudaklarını şapırdattı.
Mr. Pumblechook, "Şarap da şarap hani, değil mi, teğmen?" diye sordu.
Teğmen, "Ben size bir şey söyleyeyim mi, bence bu şarabı siz seçmişsinizdir," dedi.
Mr. Pumblechook, şöyle karından bir kahkaha atarak, "Neden acaba?" diye sordu.
Teğmen elini onun omzuna vurarak, "Sizin zevk sahibi olduğunuz belli de ondan," diye yanıtladı.
Mr. Pumblechook gene deminki gülüşüyle, "Demek öyle ha?" dedi. "Hadi, dikin bir bardak daha!"
"B | -0.63236 | -1.77122 | -1.553073 | -1.343222 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 34,816 | Book | -1 | -1 |
irlikte içeceğiz," diye karşılık verdi teğmen. "Anca beraber, kanca beraber. Şerefinize, sağlığınıza, mutluluğunuza, daha nice mübarek yortulara. Varan bir. Varan iki. Şu kadeh şıkırtısı dünyanın en tatlı müziğidir, inan olsun! Dilerim Tanrı'dan bin yaşına dek yaşarsınız da şimdiki gibi her şeyin iyisini seçmekten hiçbir zaman şaşmazsınız!"
Teğmen bu bardağı da bir dikişte yuvarladı. Bir üçüncü bardağa dünden hazır gibi duruyordu. Bakıyordum da bizim Mr. Pumblechook şarabı armağan olarak getirdiğini çoktan unutmuştu. Şişeyi ablamdan aldı, coşkun bir neşe içinde kendi malıymış gibi herkese sunmaya başladı. Bu arada bana bile pay düştü! Bizim Mr. Pumblechook ilk şişeyi öyle bol keseden dağıtmıştı ki ikinci şişeyi getirsinler diye seslendi, bunu da ikincisi gibi bonkörce dağıttı.
Onların demirci dükkânındaki ocak başına üşüşmüş, böyle neşeden kırılıp geçtiklerini gördükçe, bataklıklardaki perişan dostumun bu Noel yemeğine ne güzel bir çeşni kattığını düşünmekten kendimi alamıyordum. Askerlerin getirdiği heyecanlı haberden önce konuklar bunun yarısı kadar bile eğlenmiyorlardı. Oysa şimdi hepsi de "o iki cani"nin yakalanması için sabırsızlandıkça, körük bile kükreyerek sanki mahkûmları çağırıyor; ateş mahkûmları yutmak için yalazlanıyor, dumanlar uçuşarak onları kovalıyor, Joe'nun çekici onlar için takırdıyor, alevler fışkırıp yatıştıkça, kızgın kıvılcımlar sıçrayıp söndükçe duvarlarda oynaşan isli gölgeler sanki hışımla onlara başlarını, yumruklarını sallıyorlardı. Öyle ki benim o yufka yüreğime, dışarıdaki solgun ikindi güneşi bile onlar yüzünden solup sararmış gibi geldi... Zavallı sefiller...
Sonunda Joe'nun işi bitmiş, çın çın öten örs sesleriyle alevlerin kükremesi dinmişti. Joe ceketini giyerken, gözünü de pekleştirmiş olacak ki içimizden birkaçımızın askerlerle birlikte gidip insan avına katılmamızı önerdi.
Pumblechook Amca'yla Mr. Hubble, hanımların yanında kalıp pipolarını tüttürmek istediklerini ileri sürerek evde kaldılarsa da Mr. Wopsle, Joe giderse kendisinin de | -0.69468 | -1.785546 | -1.806697 | -1.499305 | [
-0.4337566095321214,
-0.9556029479806493
] | [
-1.9323770530820732,
-1.6387139657472791
] | [
-1.786406868777168,
-1.8269867251833163
] | [
-1.6501841305212688,
-1.3484251794039341
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gideceğini söyledi. Joe gitmeye dünden hazır olduğunu, ablam izin verirse beni de yanına alacağını söyledi. Ablam bu kovalamacaya, sonunda neler olup biteceğini merak etmeseydi kalıbımı basarım ki dünyada izin vermezdi. Şimdi ise yalnızca, "Oğlanın kafası tüfek kurşunlarıyla paramparça olursa benden medet umma," koşuluyla Joe'nun istediği izni verdi.
Teğmen hanımlarla her zamanki gibi nazik bir biçimde vedalaştı; Pumblechook'tan da kırk yıllık can dostundan ayrılırcasına ayrıldı. İçkiler su gibi akmayıp da ortalık daha bir kurak olsaydı, Mr. Pumblechook'a bu kadar ısınabileceğini pek sanmıyordum ya... Askerler tüfeklerini alarak sıraya girdiler. Mr. Wopsle ile ben ve Joe geriden gelerek, bataklıklara vardıktan sonra hiç konuşmayalım diye sıkı emir almıştık.
Ayaza çıktık; düzenli olarak yürümeye başladık. Ben bir ara Joe'nun kulağına eğilip belki de davaya ihanet ederek, "Ben onları bulmasınlar istiyorum, Joe," diye fısıldadım.
Joe da, "Bir şilinine bahse girerim; çoktan kaçmışlardır, Pip'ciğim," dedi.
Köyden bize katılan olmadı. Hava zehir gibi soğuk, ha yağdı, ha yağacaktı; ortalık kararmaya başladığından insan bastığı yeri görmekte güçlük çekiyordu. Herkes içeride, sıcacık ateşinin başında Noel'i kutlamaktaydı. Işıklı pencerelere koşuşup bakan birkaç yüz görüldü, ama kimse dışarıya çıkmadı. Yön levhasını geçmiş, dosdoğru mezarlık yönünde ilerliyorduk. Burada teğmenin bir el işareti üzerine birkaç dakika durduk. Adamlardan birkaçı mezar taşlarının arasıyla sundurmaya baktı. Hiçbir şey bulamadan geri döndüler; kilise avlusunun yan kapısından bataklıklara daldık. Şimdi doğu rüzgârıyla birlikte iğne gibi acıtan bir tipi bastırmıştı. Joe beni omzuna aldı.
Issız, iç karartıcı bataklığa iyice açılmıştık artık. Benim daha sekiz-dokuz saat önce buralarda gezdiğimi, mahkûmlardan ikisini de gördüğümü yanımdakiler akıllarının uçlarından bile geçirmezler, diye düşünüyordum ki birden yüreğim ağzıma gelerek, ya onları bulursak, yardım ettiğim mahkûm da askerleri oraya benim getirdiğimi sanırsa, diye içime bir korkudur saplandı! Daha önce hiç akl | -0.635099 | -1.814196 | -1.624087 | -1.345824 | [
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ıma gelmemişti bu. Mahkûm bana gammaz olup olmadığımı sormuştu; ona tuzak kuranlarla birlik olmanın canavarlık sayılacağını söylemişti. Ya benim hem gammaz hem de gerçekten canavar ruhlu olduğuma, onu ele verdiğime inanırsa?
Bu soruları şimdi kendi kendime sormanın bir yararı yoktu, elbet. Joe'nun omzunda, bataklıktaydım. Altımda Joe, hendekleri usta bir avcının çevikliğiyle atlıyor, bir yandan da Mr. Wopsle'a, geride kalmasın, düşüp o Romalı burnunu kırmasın diye, cesaret verip duruyordu. Askerler önümüz sıra düzenli aralıklarla yelpaze gibi açılmış ilerliyorlardı. Sabahleyin benim de geldiğim, sonra sis yüzünden yitirdiğim yolu izlemekteydik. Ya bu akşam sis basmamış ya da rüzgârda dağılmıştı. Günbatımının alçak, kırmızı ışığı altında deniz feneri, darağacı, cephaneliğin tümseği, ıslak kurşun renginde olmakla birlikte açıkça görünüyorlardı.
Joe'nun geniş omzunda oturduğum yerden, yüreğim onun çekiçleri gibi vurarak gözlerimi dört bir yanda gezdiriyor, mahkûmlardan bir iz arıyordum. Gelgelelim onlarla ilgili ne bir iz, ne de bir ses vardı. Mr. Wopsle hırıltılı solukları, sümkürmeleriyle kaç kez ödümü koparmıştı ya, artık onun çıkardığı sesleri, kovalamacamızın konusundan ayırt etmeyi öğrenmiştim. Bir ara eğenin hâlâ işlediğini duyar gibi olduğumu sanarak fena irkildim; neyse ki koyun çıngırağından başka bir şey değilmiş! Koyunlar otlamalarını bırakarak bize utangaç utangaç bakıyorlardı. Rüzgârla tipiden kaçınmak için başlarını çeviren sığırların bakışlarıysa, bu belalardan bizi sorumlu tutuyorlarmışçasına öfke doluydu. Bunlardan ve günün can çekişmesinin her ot sapına yansıyışından başka, bataklıkların ıssızlığıyla tenhalığını bozacak hiçbir şey yoktu.
Askerler eski cephanelik yönünde ilerliyor, biz de onların biraz gerisinden geliyorduk ki birden hep birlikte durduk. Çünkü rüzgârlı yağışın kanatları bize devasa bir bağırış iletmişti. Bağırış gene duyuldu. Ses, doğu doğu yönünden, uzaklardan geliyordu ama güçlü, devasa bir sesti. Yok, seslerin karışıklığına bakılırsa, birkaç ba | -0.550864 | -1.93954 | -1.684957 | -1.283391 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 37,888 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ğırış birden yükseliyor gibiydi.
Teğmenle en yakınındaki askerler bu konuyu fısıldaşırken biz onlara yetiştik. Fısıltılara biraz kulak verdikten sonra (yargısına güvenebileceğimiz) Joe ile (güvenemeyeceğimiz) Mr. Wopsle onlara hak verdiler. Ayaküstü kesin kararlar vermesini bilen teğmen hiç çıt çıkarmadan yön değiştirmemizi, erlerin, "dörtnala" bağrışların geldiği yana koşmalarını buyurdu. Böylece sağımıza düşen doğuya doğru yola koyulduk. Joe öyle bir koşuyordu ki yerimden kaymamak için boynuna sımsıkı tutunmak zorunda kalıyordum.
Gerçekten koşuyorduk şimdi. Joe, "Doludizgin!" dedi ki bu onun, bütün bu olay boyunca söyleyeceği tek söz olacaktı. Yokuş aşağı, yokuş yukarı, çitlerden atlayıp hendek sularına dalarak çalılıkları yarıp geçerek... nereye bastığına aldırış eden yoktu. Bağırışın yükseldiği yere yaklaştıkça, birden çok ses olduğu daha iyi seçilebiliyordu. Kimi kez bağırışlar kesiliveriyor, o zaman askerler de duruyorlardı. Bağırışlar gene yükseldiğinde askerler eskisinden daha büyük hızla o yana yöneliyorlardı... biz de peşlerinden.
Bir süre sonra bağırışlara öylesine yaklaşmıştık ki seslerden birinin, "Katil var!" diye, öbürünün de, "Mahkûmlar, kaçaklar burada!" diye bağırdığını duyduk. Seslerin ikisi de bir boğuşma içinde kesilir gider gibi oldu, sonra gene yükseldi. Şimdi askerler, askerlerle birlikte Joe, ceylan gibi koşuyorlardı.
Gürültüye iyice yaklaştığımızda en önden teğmen, hemen peşi sıra da iki askeri atıldılar. Sonra hepimiz onlara yetiştik. Askerlerin tüfekleri omuzlarında, hazır durumdaydı.
Bir hendeğe atlayıp boğuşmaya katılmış olan teğmen soluk soluğa, "Teslim olun, ikiniz de!" diye bağırıyordu. "Tanrı kahretsin sizi, ne azgın köpeklersiniz be! Bırakın birbirinizi de teslim olun, hadi!"
Havaya sularla çamurlar sıçrıyor, sövgüler savruluyordu. Derken birkaç asker daha hendeğe, teğmene yardım etmeye indiler, biraz sonra benim mahkûmla ötekisini ayrı ayrı dışarı sürüklediler. Mahkûmların ikisi de kanlar içinde, soluk soluğa, hâlâ sövüp sayarak boğuşuyorlardı. Ama ben ik | -0.71591 | -1.878658 | -1.489667 | -1.284692 | [
-0.6953646164708847,
-0.7364548793408475
] | [
-1.8679144241549235,
-1.8894019671306401
] | [
-1.4516230534264445,
-1.5277102841879726
] | [
-1.4212635469150148,
-1.148119668748462
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] | 1,334,895 | 38,912 | Book | -1 | -1 |
isini de bir bakışta tanımıştım.
Benim mahkûmum yüzündeki kanları o partal kol yenleriyle sildi, parmaklarının arasında kalmış olan saç tutamlarını silkeleyip atarak, "Bakın ha!" dedi. "Ben enseledim onu. Size onu ben teslim ediyorum. Bunu sakın unutmayın, ha!"
Teğmen, "Bu konuda kılı kırk yarmanın gereği yok," dedi. "Sana da pek yararı dokunmaz; aynı yolun yolcusu değil misin? Şu kelepçeleri verin bana!"
Benim mahkûm açgözlü bir gülüşle, "Yarar umduğum yok ki!" dedi. "Şu durumun verdiği yarar yeter bana. Onu ben yakaladım. O da bunu biliyor. Bu kadarı bana yeter."
Öteki mahkûm korkunç durumdaydı. Eskiden yüzünün yalnızca sol yanı yaralıyken, şimdi tepeden tırnağa yara bere içindeydi. Soluğu tükenmiş, konuşamıyordu bile. Ayrı ayrı kelepçelediler onları. İkinci mahkûm düşmemek için yanındaki askere yaslandı. Sonunda konuştuğu zaman ilk işi, "Haberiniz olsun; beni boğmaya kalkıştı," demek oldu.
Benim mahkûm, ötekinin yüzüne tükürürcesine, "Boğmaya çalışmak ha?" diye konuştu. "Çalışacağım da beceremeyeceğim ha? Ben onu enseledim, sonra da teslim ettim. Hepsi bu. Bataklıklardan kaçmasını ben önledim onun. Yalnız önlemekle kalmadım, kaçmış olduğu yerden sürükleye sürükleye taa buraya kadar getirdim. Sayın baylar, şu gördüğünüz alçak canavar yüksek bir beyefendidir. İşte _hulk_ 'lar benim sayemde gene kibar beyefendilerine kavuştular... Boğmak mı onu? Değerdi doğrusu. Ama ben tuttum geri getirdim. Kendim ele geçmek pahasına!"
Öteki hâlâ hırıltılı bir sesle, "Beni... ö... öldürmeye k... kalkıştı... Si... siz de tanıksınız," diye soluk soluğa konuşuyordu.
Benim mahkûm teğmene dönerek, "Dinle beni," dedi. "Tek başıma kaçtım hapishane gemisinden. Bir deneyeyim, dedim; oldu. Kaçtığım gibi bu bataklıktan da uzaklaşabilirdim; bacağıma baksana, bu kadarcık demirle kolayca sıvışabilirdim bu mezar gibi dondurucu bataklıklardan... eğer "onun" da buralarda olduğunu öğrenmemiş olsaydım. "Onun" da özgürlüğe kavuşmasına göz yumacaktım ha? Benim keşfettiğim yoldan "onun" da yararlanmasına izin verecektim | -0.557027 | -2.093534 | -1.560681 | -1.364033 | [
-0.5474396701390185,
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] | 1,334,895 | 39,936 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ha? Bir kez daha mı? Yook, efendim, öyle yağma yok!" Sonra benim mahkûm, kelepçeli ellerini hırsla hendekten yana sallayarak ekledi: "Şu hendeğin dibinde öleceğimi bilsem ellerimi gene çekmezdim boğazından; sımsıkı tutardım ki, siz gelip onu orada bulasınız diye."
Ondan ödü koptuğu açıkça belli olan öbür mahkûm, "Beni öldürüyordu nerdeyse," dedi gene. "Siz yetişmeseydiniz işim bitikti."
Benim mahkûm, hırsla, "Yalan atıyor," diye dişlerinin arasından konuştu. "Yalancı doğmuş, yalancı ölecek. Yüzüne baksana, apaçık yazılı değil mi orada yalancılığı? Doğru söylüyorsa gözümün içine baksın, bakalım. Hadi, erkekse yapsın, bakalım."
Öteki bu sözleri küçümseyerek gülüyormuş gibi yapmaya çalıştı. Ne var ki titreyen dudaklarını belirli bir ifadeyle toparlamayı beceremeden askerlere baktı, bataklıkla gökyüzüne baktı, ama bir türlü öbür adama bakamadı.
Benim mahkûm, "Görüyorsunuz ya?" diye konuştu. "Alçaklığının derecesini görebiliyorsunuz ya? Gözlerini nasıl benden kaçırıyor, bakışlarıyla nasıl sizlere yaltaklanıyor, görüyorsunuz ya? İkimiz yan yana yargılanırken de böyleydi işte! Bir kez bile bana bakmadı."
Çatlak dudaklarını oynatarak gözlerini dört bir yanda dolaştırıp duran öteki, sonunda benim mahkûma şöyle bir göz atarak, "Neyine bakayım senin?" diye mırıldandı.
Bunun üzerine benim mahkûm öyle bir kudurdu ki askerler araya girmese öbür adamın üstüne atılacaktı.
O zaman öbür adam, "Ben size demedim mi?" dedi. "Fırsat bulsa beni öldürecek demedim mi ben size?" Korkudan titrediği gözle görülüyordu; dudaklarında sulu kar gibi beyaz, tuhaf köpükler belirmişti.
Teğmen, "Yetti bu gevezelik," dedi. "Yakın şu meşaleleri!"
Tüfek yerine bir sepet taşımakta olan bir asker bu sepeti açmak için yere diz çökünce benim mahkûm ilk olarak çevresine bakındı ve beni gördü. Hendeğin kıyısına geldiğimiz zaman Joe'nun omzundan inmiş, bir daha da yerimden kıpırdamamıştım. Göz göze geldiğimiz zaman ben heyecanla onun gözlerinin içine baktım. Ellerimi şöyle bir açarak başımı belli belirsiz salladım. Su | -0.687147 | -2.05414 | -1.631696 | -1.436872 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 40,960 | Book | -1 | -1 |
çsuz olduğumu elimden geldiğince anlatabilmek için bana baksın diye beklemekteydim zaten. Benim söylemek istediğimi kavrayabildi mi, bilmiyorum. Benden yana hiç anlayamadığım bir bakışla baktı. Her şey hemencecik olup bitmişti. Ne var ki adam bana bir saniyecik değil de bütün bir gün baksa bundan daha büyük bir dikkat gösteremezdi. O yoğun dikkati yaşam boyu unutamayacaktım.
Sepetli asker çok geçmeden ışık yakıp üç-dört meşale tutuşturmuş, bunlardan birini kendine alıp öbürlerini arkadaşlarına dağıtmıştı. Önceden karanlık basmak üzere gibiydi, ama şimdi meşaleler yanınca ortalık birden kararmış, biraz sonra ise karanlık daha da yoğunlaşmış gibi oldu. Hendek başından ayrılmamızdan önce dört asker bir halka oluşturup durdular; havaya ikişer el ateş ettiler. Biraz sonra hendeğin gerisinde, biraz ötede başka meşalelerin yakıldığını gördük. Irmağın karşı yakasındaki bataklıkta da meşaleler yanmıştı.
"Oldu," dedi teğmen. "Arş, ileri!"
Yola düzüldükten kısa bir süre sonra ileride bir yerden, kulağımın zarını patlatırcasına üç pare top atıldı.
Teğmen benim mahkûma, "Sizleri gemiden bekliyorlar," dedi. "Geldiğinizden haberleri var. Boşuna çırpınma, dostum... Kapayın şu arayı."
Mahkûmları birbirlerinden ayrı yürütüyorlardı. İkisinin de çevresi ayrı muhafızlarla sarılıydı. Ben şimdi Joe' nun elini tutuyordum. Joe da meşalelerden birini taşıyordu. Mr. Wopsle köye dönmekten yanaydı ama Joe işin nereye varacağını görmek istediğinden biz de askerlerle birlikte yürüyorduk. Yolumuz oldukça düzgündü şimdi. Çoğunlukla ırmak boyunu izliyor, arada birkaç hendeğin çevresinden dolanıyorduk. Hendeklerin hemen her birinin üzerinde minicik bir yel değirmeniyle bir de set kapısı vardı. Başımı çevirdiğim zaman ardımız sıra gelen öbür meşaleleri görebiliyordum. Bizim elimizdeki meşalelerden yere kocaman kıvılcımlar sıçrıyordu; bunların da yolun üzerinde kâh parlayıp kâh duman dumana tüttüklerini görebiliyordum. Bunların dışında hiçbir şey göremiyordum, kapkara karanlıktan başka. Meşalelerimizin ziftli alevleri çevremizdeki havayı biraz ısıtıyordu. Tüfeklerin arasında aksak adımlar | -0.583051 | -1.835683 | -1.621551 | -1.323712 | [
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-0.6350988975949392
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] | 1,334,895 | 41,984 | Book | -1 | -1 |
la ilerleyen mahkûmlar da bundan hoşnut gibiydiler. Onların topallaması yüzünden hızlı ilerleyemiyorduk. Öylesine bitkin durumdaydılar ki dinlenebilsinler diye iki-üç mola vermek zorunda kaldık.
Bir saati aşan bir yolculuktan sonra kaba saba tahta bir kulübeyle iskeleye vardık. Kulübede muhafızlar vardı. Parola sordular, teğmen yanıt verdi. Kulübeye girdiğimizde bizi tütün ve badana kokusuyla gürül gürül yanan bir ateş, bir de lamba karşıladı. Bir sıra tüfek, bir davul, bir de alçak tahta karyola vardı ki üstüne bir düzine askeri birden sığdırabilecek gibi görünüyordu. Sırtlarında kaputlarıyla yatakta uzanmış yatan üç-dört asker pek ilgilenmediler bizimle. Şöyle bir başlarını kaldırıp uykulu uykulu baktıktan sonra gene yattılar. Teğmen raporunu verdi, bir kayıt defterine bir şeyler yazdı. Sonra, öteki mahkûm dediğim adamın gemiye muhafızlarıyla birlikte önden gönderilmesine karar verildi.
Benim mahkûm ilkinden sonra benden yana hiç bakmamıştı. Kulübede beklerken ateş başında durmuş ayağının önce birini, sonra öbürünü ocağın siperine dayayarak düşünceli gözlerle, saatlerdir çektiklerinden ötürü onlara acıyormuşçasına bu ayakları seyrediyordu. Derken, durup dururken teğmene sordu, "Gemiden kaçışımla ilgili söyleyeceklerim var," dedi. "Kimse benim yüzümden töhmet altında kalsın istemiyorum."
Teğmen kollarını kavuşturmuş, serinkanlılıkla onu süzerek, "İstediğini söyleyebilirsin ama burada olmaz," dedi. "Nasılsa bu iş sona ermeden önce her şeyi söyleyip dinlemeye bol bol fırsat bulacaksın."
"Biliyorum ama bu iş başka. Açlıktan ölmeyi hiç kimse bile bile istemez. Daha doğrusu ben böyleyim. Geçen gece şu ötedeki köyden... hani kilisesi bataklığın hemen dibinde olandan, biraz kumanya edindim kendime."
"Çaldım, demek istiyorsun," dedi teğmen.
"Nerden aldığımı da söyleyivereyim size. Demircinin evinden."
Teğmen, "Bakın hele!" diyerek Joe'ya baktı.
Joe, "Bak hele, Pip!" diyerek bana baktı.
"Birkaç lokmacık bir şeydi, bir yudumcuk içki, bir de pay işte."
Teğmen Joe'ya doğru eğilerek gizlice, "Payınız çalındı mı gerçekten?" diye sordu.
"Tam siz geldiğiniz sırada karım b | -0.54607 | -1.864333 | -1.598725 | -1.228762 | [
-0.6789285113228996,
-0.41321147809714004
] | [
-1.82493933820349,
-1.9037269957811178
] | [
-1.5480002123910466,
-1.6494498534064175
] | [
-1.1090991147246687,
-1.3484251794039341
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unu söylüyordu, galiba. Öyle değil mi, Pip?"
Benim mahkûm benden yana hiç bakmayarak gözlerini dalgın dalgın Joe'ya dikti.
"Yaa," dedi. "Köyün demircisi sensin demek. Öyleyse senin payını yemişim, kusura bakma."
Joe, "Önemli değil," dedi. Sonra aklına ablam gelmiş olacak ki, "Ben kendi malımı kimseden esirgemem," diyerek durumu düzeltti. "İşlediğin suç neymiş bilmiyorum. Ama ne olursa olsun açlıktan ölmeni istemezdik, zavallı, sefil kardeşçik... istemezdik değil mi, Pip?"
Adamın gırtlağında bundan önce de duymuş olduğum o çark gene tıkırdadı ve adam bize sırtını çevirdi. Kayık geri gelmişti, mahkûmun muhafızları hazırdılar. Onun peşi sıra, kaba kazıklarla taşlardan yapılmış iskeleye yürüdük, kendisi gibi mahkûmlar tarafından çekilen kayığa bindirildiğini gördük. Onu görünce ne şaşıran, ne ilgi gösteren, ne sevinen, ne üzülen ne de tek bir söz söyleyen çıktı. Yalnızca birisi köpeklerine buyururcasına, "Hey, asılın bakalım," diye komut verince kürekler suya daldı. Meşalelerin ışığında kara _hulk_ 'u görebiliyorduk... kıyı çamurlarının biraz ötesinde, cehennemlik bir Nuh'un Gemisi gibi... Dört bir yanı demir parmaklıklarla çevrili kocaman paslı zincirlerle bağlanmış duran bu gemi, benim çocuk gözlerime tıpkı mahkûmlar benzeri prangalıymış gibi göründü. Kayığın gemiye yanaşmasına, benim mahkûmun yandan yukarı alınmasına, karanlıklara karışmasına baktık. O zaman meşalelerin uçları suya fırlatıldı, tıslayarak birer birer söndü. Bana öyle geldi ki benim mahkûm için de her şey sona ermişti.
# 6
Yaptığım hırsızlık suçundan böyle hiç umulmadık bir biçimde sıyrılıverişimin yarattığı duygular gerçi beni bir açıklama yapmaya itmedi; gene de içimde ufak bir iyilik tortusu bırakmış olduklarını ummak isterim.
Yakalanmak korkusu üzerimden kalktığı zaman ablama karşı bir sorumluluk yükü, herhangi bir pişmanlık sızısı duyduğumu anımsamıyorum. Gelgelelim Joe'yu seviyordum. O çocukluk günlerinde Joe'yu sevmemin başlıca nedeni sevmeme izin vermesiydi belki de, sevgili Joe... O söz konusu olduğunda vicdanımı yatıştırm | -0.633729 | -1.953865 | -1.849813 | -1.347124 | [
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ak pek öyle kolay olmuyordu. Durmadan, ona gerçeği tümüyle söylemem gerektiğini düşünüyordum. Hele onun eğesini aradığını ilk görüşümde bu düşünce bana adamakıllı yük olmuştu, gene de hiçbir şey söylemedim. Söylersem onun gözünden düşeceğimden korkuyordum çünkü. Joe'nun güvenini yitirmek, bundan böyle ömrümün sonuna dek geceleri ocak başında ona, tek can yoldaşım, arkadaşım olan bu adama uzaktan bakmak korkusu ağzımı dilimi bağlıyordu. Joe gerçeği öğrenirse, artık ocak başında otururken ne zaman o sarışın sakalını sıvazladığını görsem, hırsızlık konusunu düşünüyor sanırım diye karamsarlığa itiyordum kendimi. Joe gerçeği öğrenirse, diyordum içimden, sofraya bir gün öncesinden artakalmış bir et yemeği, bir pay geldiğinde, şöyle bir baktığını bile görsem, "Benim kilere gidip bunları tırtıkladığımı sanıyor," diye kuruntu yapmaktan kendimi alamam. Joe gerçeği öğrenirse, diye düşünüyordum, bundan böyle bu çatı altında paylaştığımız yaşantı boyunca ne zaman biranın koyu ya da sulu olduğundan dem vursa, katrandan kuşkulandığına inanırım ve yüzüme kan hücum eder...
Kısacası doğru olduğunu bildiğim şeyi yapmaya cesaret bulamıyordum; nasıl ki daha önce de yanlış olduğunu bildiğim şeyden kaçınacak cesareti gösteremeyişim gibi. O sırada dış dünyayla hiçbir alışverişim yoktu; davranış yolumu çizerken kimseyi örnek alıyor değildim. Hiçbir yerden öğrenmediğim, Tanrı vergisi dehamla kendi yolumu kendim bulup seçtim.
Zindan gemisinden biraz uzaklaştığımız zaman uykum bastırdığı için Joe beni gene omzuna aldı, eve kadar taşıdı. Joe için çetin bir yolculuk olsa gerekti. Çünkü yorgunluktan bitkin düşen Mr. Wopsle öyle huysuzlanmıştı ki papazlık herkese açık olsaydı, sanırım benimle Joe'ya da ayrım tanımaksızın tüm geziyi aforoz ederdi! Sıfatı resmî olmadığı için yalnızca oturup dinlenmekte direndi. Ipıslak toprağın üzerinde öyle çok oturdu ki, eğer bu yaptığı şey idamlık bir suç olsaydı, sonradan, mutfakta paltosunu çıkardığı zaman pantolon kıçında görülen kesin kanıt, onun asılmasına y | -0.767957 | -2.28334 | -1.908146 | -1.525318 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 45,056 | Book | -1 | -1 |
eterdi.
Bu arada ben, mışıl mışıl uyuduğum sırada yere bırakıldığım ve uyanınca kendimi sıcak, aydınlık bir yerde, konuşup duran sesler arasında bulduğum için mutfağın zemininde küçük bir ayyaş gibi sarsak sarsak dolaşmaktaydım. Ablamın, iki kürekkemiğimin orta yerine bir yumruk indirerek, "Nah! Bu çocuk gibisini de görmedim!" diye bağırmasının yardımıyla kendime geldiğimde baktım, Joe odadakilere mahkûmun itirafını anlatıyor, onlar da adamın kilere nasıl girmiş olabileceği konusunda çeşitli düşünceler yürütüyorlardı. Mr. Pumblechook'a kalırsa adam önce demirci dükkânının damına tırmanmış, oradan evin damına geçmiş, oradan da, yatak çarşaflarını kesip ekleyerek yaptığı urganın yardımıyla mutfak bacasından içeri girmişti. Mr. Pumblechook hem dediği dedik hem de özel payton sahibi bir adam olduğundan herkes onun düşüncesine katıldı. Gerçi Mr. Wopsle çok yorgun insanların kötü yürekli çekemezliğiyle, deliler gibi, "Yok, olamaz!" diye bağırdıysa da, hırsızlık konusunda kendince bir kuramı, sırtında da ceketi bulunmadığından kimse ona aldırış etmedi. Bu arada kurulanmak için arkasını ocağa vermiş durmakta ve pantolonunun kıçından buharlar tütmekte olduğunu söylemeden geçemeyiz ki bu durumdaki bir adamın çevresinde güven uyandırması elbette beklenemez.
O gece bundan başka bir şey duyamadım, çünkü biraz sonra ablam şu uyurgezer durumumla herkesin göz zevkini kaçırdığımı söyleyerek beni ensemden kavradığı gibi yukarı, yatmaya çıkmama (kendi elcağızıyla) öyle bir yardım etti ki ayağımda elli tane kundura varmış da ellisi birden merdivenin basamaklarına çarpıyormuş sanırdınız. Biraz önce anlattığım duygular ise ertesi sabah daha yataktayken başladı; mahkûmlar konusu uzun uzun konuşularak tükenip kapandıktan, ancak kırk yılda bir değinilir olduktan çok sonralara dek sürdü gitti.
# 7
Mezarlıkta dolaşıp ailemizin mezar taşlarını okuduğum zaman taşların üzerindeki yazıları zar zor sökebiliyordum. Bu yazıların çok basit olan anlamlarını bile doğru dürüst çıkartamıyordum. Örneğin, "yukarıda adı geçen" sözlerini ben babamın | -0.646056 | -1.925215 | -1.644377 | -1.386145 | [
-0.7611090370628253,
-0.5310035649910334
] | [
-1.9610271103830288,
-1.8894019671306401
] | [
-1.8117692790310107,
-1.476985463680287
] | [
-1.5617375414006707,
-1.2105525551865313
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] | 1,334,895 | 46,080 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ahiretteki yerinin pek yüksek olduğuna yoruyordum. Ölmüş olan akrabalarımdan birinin taşında, "aşağıdaki" diye yazsaydı o kişi konusunda çok kötü inançlar besleyeceğimden hiç kuşkunuz olmasın.
Din dersinin bana yüklediği inançsal sorumluluklar konusundaki düşüncelerim de açıklığa kavuşmuş değildi. Bugün gibi aklımdadır: "Doğru yoldan yaşam boyu ayrılmayacağım," diye ettiğim yeminin beni, köyün hep aynı yolundan geçmeye bağladığına, tekerlekçi ustasının ya da değirmenin oradan saparak yolumu değiştirmemin yasak olduğuna inanırdım.
Büyüyünce Joe'nun yanına çırak girecektim. Bu mertebeye ulaşmadan önce de ablamın deyimiyle bana "yüz verilmeyecekti", yani şımartılmayacaktım. Bu nedenle yalnızca Joe'nun el ulaklığını yapmakla kalmıyor, komşulardan birine bahçedeki kuşları kovalamak, taşları toplayıp atmak için yardımcı gerekirse bu görevlerle de ben onurlandırılıyordum. Ancak bu yüzden herkes benim çalışmak zorunda olduğumu sanıp da ailemizin saygınlığına leke düşmesin diye ablam bir kumbara alıp ocağın rafına koymuştu. Bütün kazancımın bu kumbaraya atıldığını da herkese yaymıştı. Anladığım kadarıyla kazandığım paralar günün birinde Bütçe Açığı'nı kapamak gibi bir uğurda harcanacaktı; öyle bir şey. Kesinlikle bildiğim tek şey varsa paralardan benim elime zırnık geçmeyeceğiydi.
Mr. Wopsle'ın büyük teyzesi köyde bir akşam okulu işletiyordu. Sizin anlayacağınız kendisi dar gelirli, bol illetli, gülünç kocakarının biriydi. Her akşam saat altıyla yedi arasında bir oda dolusu çocuğun gözleri önünde uyuklardı; onlar da buna bakarak aydınlanabilmenin uğruna, haftada iki pens para sökülürlerdi.
O, küçük bir kiralık evde oturuyor, Mr. Wopsle da üst kattaki odada kalıyordu. Biz öğrenciler onun odasında, o gümbür gümbür sesiyle, yaman bir tarzda bir şeyler okuduğunu, arada bir de bastonuyla yere vurduğunu duyabilirdik. Mr. Wopsle öğrencileri yılda dört kez "sınavdan geçiriyor" diye bir masal vardı. Oysa kendisinin sınav günlerinde yaptığı şey, gömleğinin kol ağızlarını katlayıp saçlarını kabartarak bize Mark Anton | -0.466629 | -1.756895 | -1.499812 | -1.219657 | [
-0.7419335810568426,
-0.19132405859934082
] | [
-1.7819642522520567,
-1.7318266519753847
] | [
-1.4871304277818242,
-1.5124928380356668
] | [
-1.1377141876754504,
-1.3016005145753822
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y'nin, Caesar' ın ölüsü başında verdiği nutku okumaktan ibaretti. Bunu da her zaman, Collins'in, _Ode on the Passions_ 'u (İnsan Tutkuları Üstüne Övgü) izlerdi. Ben Mr. Wopsle'ın bu şiirde özellikle "Öç" bölümünü okuyuşuna bayılır, kan lekeli kılıcını gök gürültüleri arasında fırlatıp atmasına, savaşı lanetleyen trompeti kahreden bakışlarla alıp öttürmesine biterdim.
O zaman toydum daha. Sonradan, "insan tutkuları"nı yakından tanıyıp da Wopsle ve Collins'le karşılaştırdığım zaman ikisi de bu karşılaştırmadan oldukça zararlı çıkacaklardı.
Mr. Wopsle'ın büyük teyzesi bir yandan bu eğitim kurumunu işletedursun, aynı odanın bir başka köşesinde de ufak bir aktar dükkânı işletirdi. Kaç çeşit mal bulundurduğundan, neyi kaça sattığından haberi yoktu, ama bir çekmecede sakladığı küçük, yağ lekeli bir not defteri vardı ki fiyat kataloğu yerine geçer, bütün alışverişi de bu kutsal kitaba bakarak Biddy çeker çevirirdi. Biddy, Mr. Wopsle'ın büyük teyzesinin torunuydu. Mr. Wopsle'ın nesi olduğu bilmecesine hiçbir zaman akıl erdiremediğimi açıkça söylemek zorundayım. O da benim gibi öksüzdü; benim gibi onu da birileri "kendi elcağızıyla" büyütmüştü. Bana kalırsa Biddy'nin en göze çarpan yönleri gövdesinin en uçlarıydı, çünkü her zaman saçları tarak isterdi, elleri yıkanmak, pabuçları da topukları yukarı çekilerek onarılmak... Bu betimlemeyi olağan günlere özgü olarak ele almalıyız. Çünkü pazar günleri Biddy kiliseye noksanları giderilmiş, gerekli ayrıntıları eklenmiş olarak gelirdi.
Büyük teyzeden çok Biddy'nin yardımıyla, ama en çok kendi kendime, hiç yardımsız, dikenli bir çalılıktan geçercesine alfabenin bir yanından girip öbür yanından çıktımsa da her bir harften yemediğim tırmık, çekmediğim acı kalmadı. Alfabeden sonra sayı denilen o dokuz eşkıyanın eline düştüm. Haydutlar, kılıklarını değiştirip tanınmaktan kaçınmak için her akşam yeni bir yol buluyorlardı sanki! Ama en sonunda, sözgelişi yarı kör gibi el yordamıyla okuyup yazmayı, toplayıp çıkarmayı, en aşağı köşesinden yakalayabildim.
Bir akşam oc | -0.258096 | -1.767639 | -1.340028 | -1.097393 | [
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ak başındaki köşemde küçük karatahtamı dizime koymuş, kan terlere batarak Joe'ya bir mektup yazmaya çabalıyordum. Bataklıktaki insan avının üzerinden eksiksiz bir yıl geçmiş olsa gerekti, çünkü aradan uzun zaman geçmişti, mevsimlerden gene kıştı, hava dona çekmişti. Alfabe kitabımı, sırasında danışabilmek için ayağımın dibine, ocağın önüne koyarak bir-iki saat içinde kitap harfleriyle şu leke dolu mektubu yazmayı başarabildim:
sEvgİLİ JO UmRım iyyAzdıM bnu UmRım sna da YAKıNDa öretÇem ozzamn BİZ Çok mUTlu olcez 2miz JO Hele BEN sna çrak GİRincE 2miz nE ALEMler yApceZ JO inAN bnu İlle bşARacğm sEvgİLER piP.
Joe ile mektup yoluyla haberleşmek için zorunlu bir neden olduğu söylenemez, çünkü kendisi şu sırada yanı başımda oturuyordu, hem de ikimiz yalnızdık. Gene de ben bu yazışmayı karatahtasıyla birlikte uzattım; Joe da bir bilim mucizesi alırmışçasına aldı.
O masmavi gözlerini koskocaman açarak, "İnan olsun, Pip, iki gözüm," diye şaştı kaldı. "Amma da bilgin olup çıktın, ha, değil mi, Pip?"
"Umarım, Joe," diyerek onun elinde tuttuğu karatahtaya bir göz attım. Yazılarım gözüme biraz inişli çıkışlı görününce tasalanır gibi oldum.
Joe, "Bak bir J var," diyordu. "Yusyuvarlak da bir O! J ile O, Pip, Joe yazmışsın sen."
Joe'nun bu tek heceli sözcükten öte hiçbir şeyi yüksek sesle okuduğunu duymuş değildim. O pazar kilisede "Dua Kitabımızı" kazara baş aşağı tuttuğum zaman Joe' nun bunda bir sakınca bulmadığını da görmüştüm. Şimdi elimdeki fırsattan yararlanarak iyice öğrenmeye karar verdim: Joe'ya okuma yazma öğretirken en baştan mı başlamak zorunda kalacaktım?
"Hele bir de sonrasını oku, Joe," dedim.
Joe tahtayı bir şeyler ararcasına ağır ağır süzerek, "Sonrası mı?" dedi. "Biir, ikii, üç. Niçin, Pip'ciğim, üç J var burda, üç de O, üç J-O, yani üç tane Joe var, Pip."
Joe'ya doğru eğildim ve satırları işaretparmağımla izleyerek bütün mektubu okudum.
Bitirdiğim zaman Joe, "Hayret doğrusu!"dedi. "Sen gerçek bir bilginsin."
Alçakg | -0.45978 | -1.853589 | -1.369195 | -1.378341 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 49,152 | Book | -1 | -1 |
önüllü bir babacanlıkla, "Gargery'yi nasıl yazarsın, Joe?" diye sordum.
"Hiç yazmam," dedi Joe.
"Tut ki yazdın."
"Tutulacak yanı yok bunun," dedi Joe. "Ama bak, okumaya bayılırım."
"Gerçek mi, Joe?"
"Bay-yılırım hem de. Elime şöyle güzel bir kitap, güzel bir gazete versinler, güzel bir ateşin başına oturtsunlar, başka bir şeycikler istemem." Joe, "Ulu Tanrım!" diye dizlerini hafifçe ovuşturdu. "İnsan sayfada bir J harfine, önünde de bir O harfine rastlayıp da, 'Bak, işte J-O Joe yazıyor,' dediği zaman ne tatlı şeydir okumak!"
Bu sözlerden anladım ki Joe'nun eğitimi de tıpkı buharlı icatlar gibi henüz emekleme çağında. Konunun peşini bırakmayarak, "Sen hiç okula gitmedin mi, Joe, benim gibi çocukken?" diye sordum.
"Gitmedim ya, Pip."
"Neden hiç okula gitmedin Joe, benim gibi çocukken?"
Joe eline maşayı aldı; düşünceli olduğu zamanlar huyu olduğu üzere, alttaki demirlerin arasından ateşi ağır ağır karıştırarak, "Anlatayım, Pip," dedi. "Benim babam, içkiye pek düşkündü. İçkiyi aşırı kaçırdığı zamansa fena döverdi, hiç acımadan. Zaten bir de benim dışımda başka bir şeycik dövmezdi. Örsü demeye getiriyorum. Beni kıyasıya dövüşündeki hırs da Pip'ciğim, dükkânındaki örsü hiç dövmeyişiyle eşitti. Dinliyor musun, iki gözüm, anlayabiliyor musun?"
"Evet, Joe."
"İşte bu yüzden anacığımla ben kaç kez babamdan kaçtık. Kaçtığımız zaman anam çalışmaya giderdi. Bana da, 'Joe,' derdi. 'Tanrı'nın izniyle seni okula göndereceğim bu kez, oğlum,' derdi. Gerçekten de yazdırırdı beni okula. Gelgelelim babamın yüreği öylesine iyiymiş ki bizden ayrı kalmaya dayanamazmış. Bu yüzden her seferinde peşine koca bir kalabalık takar gelir, bizim kaldığımız evlerin kapısında öyle bir çıngar çıkarırdı ki, ev sahipleri ne yapsınlar, bizimle ilişkiyi kesmek zorunda kalırlardı, bizi onun eline teslim ederlerdi, Pip. O zaman babam da bizi alıp gene eve götürür, örs niyetine kullanırdı. Bu da, anlarsın ya, Pip'ciğim..." Joe ateşi dalgın dalgın karıştırmaktan vazgeçerek bana baktı. "Bu da bizim okul durumlar | -0.332401 | -1.882239 | -1.474449 | -1.283391 | [
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-0.4611501181120966
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] | 1,334,895 | 50,176 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ını aksatırdı biraz."
"Elbet ya, zavallı Joe."
Joe maşayı parmaklığın üstüne yargıç tokmağı gibi birkaç kez vurarak, "Gene de, Pip yanlış anlama sakın," dedi. "Doğruya doğru, eğriye eğri, herkese hakça davranıp kimsenin günahına girmemek için, ne yalan söyleyim, babamın yüreği de yufkaymış ki ne yufka! Anlıyorsun, değil mi, Pip?"
Anlamamıştım ama bunu Joe'ya söylemedim.
Joe, "Yaa, işte böyle," diye anlatmasını sürdürdü. "Evdeki aş tenceresini birinin kaynatması gerek, Pip, yoksa tenceredir bu, kaynamaz, anlarsın ya."
Bunu anlamıştım, anladığımı da söyledim.
"Bundan ötürüdür ki Pip'ciğim, benim işe girmeme babam ses etmedi. Ben de şimdiki mesleğimde çalışmaya başladım. Aynı zamanda babamın da mesleğiydi bu, çalışmış olaydı kendisi. Yaşıma göre iyi çalışıyordum Pip, inanasın buna. Zamanla babama da ben bakmaya başladım. Mosmor inme inip sizlere ömür olana dek ben baktım ona. Niyetim mezar taşına şöyle yazdırmaktı."
> Her ne kadar sert idiyse bileği
>
> Bilesiniz, yufka idi yüreği.
Joe bu yazıtı öyle özenerek, gözle görülür bir övünçle okumuştu ki, "Sen mi yazdın bunu?" diye sordum.
"Ben yazdım ya," dedi Joe. "Hem de kendi kendime. Bir çırpıda çıkarıverdim. Çekicin bir tek vuruşuyla bütün bir at nalı yapmaya benziyordu. Öyle şaşırıp kaldım ki! Hiç ummazdım, kendi kendimin böyle bir şey yapabileceğimi. Doğruyu söylemek gerekirse kendi yaptığıma inanasım bile gelmiyordu. Dediğim gibi, Pip'ciğim, niyetim bunu babamın mezar taşına kazdırmaktı. Gel gör ki şiir dediğin şey para tutar; nasıl kazdırırsan kazdır. Küçük de olsa, büyük de olsa para tutar şiir dediğin. Kazdıramadım bu yüzden. Mezarcılara verdiğim bir yana, elde kalan para annem için gerekliydi. O da hastaydı, bir deri bir kemik kalmıştı. Babamın ardından pek dayanamadı, sonunda da göçtü, selamete kavuştu, zavallıcığım."
Joe yaşaran mavi gözlerini en olmayacak bir yöntemle, maşanın tepesindeki topuzla ovuşturarak sildi.
"Ondan sonra bir yalnızlık geldi ki bana | -0.417321 | -1.978933 | -1.573363 | -1.457683 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 51,200 | Book | -1 | -1 |
, burda tek başıma oturmak! Derken bir gün ablanla tanıştım. Biliyorsun, Pip," dedi Joe, kendisine hak vermeyeceğimi önceden biliyormuş gibi gözlerimin içine bakarak konuştu: "Senin ablan çok iyi, çok esaslı kadındır."
Ona inanmadığımı belirtecek biçimde gözlerimi ateşe dikmekten kendimi alamadım.
"Aile üyeleri ne düşünürse düşünsün, dünya âlem ne derlerse desinler..." Joe bundan sonraki her sözcüğün ardından maşayı parmaklığa vurarak, "Senin ablan çok-iyi, çok-esaslı bir-kadın-dır!" diye konuşmasını bitirdi.
"İyi ki sen öyle düşünüyorsun, Joe," demekten öte ne söyleyeceğimi bilemedim.
Joe lafımı ağzıma tıkarcasına, "Ben de öyle!" dedi. "Böyle düşündüğüm için de hoşnutum, Pip... Bir parça deri kızıllığı, orda burda biraz kemik iriliği... ne önemi var bunların benim gözümde?"
Ben de, "Senin için önemi yok madem, başka kimin için önemi olacak?" diye bilgiç bilgiç başımı salladım.
"Elbette," diye Joe sözlerimi onayladı. "Tam üstüne bastın, diyordu. Ablanla tanıştığımda, seni nasıl kendi elcağızıyla yetiştirdiği dillerde geziyordu. Herkes, ne iyi kadın, diyordu, ne büyük sevap işliyor... Ben de herkesle bir, öyle der oldum. Sana gelince..." Joe çok sevimsiz bir şey görmüşçesine yüzünü buruşturarak, "Nasıl ufacık, sıskacık, huysuz bir şey olduğunu bilseydin," diye ekledi, "İnan bana, dönüp kendi kendinin yüzüne bakmazdın, Pip."
Bu sözler hiç işime gelmediğinden, "Sen bana aldırma, Joe," dedim.
"Elimde değildi ki aldırmamak!" diye Joe sevecenlikle karşılık verdi bana. "Ablanla birlikte gezmeye başladığımız zaman, kiliseye giderken ya da o benim dükkâna gelmeye razı olduğu zamanlarda, 'Küçümenciği de getir, zavallıcığım,' derdim. 'Tanrı'nın garibanı yavrucağız,' derdim ablana, 'Yanımıza o da sığar elbet; benim dükkânımda ona da yer var,' derdim."
Ağlamaya başlayıp özürler dileyerek Joe'nun boynuna sarıldım; o da maşayı elinden atıp boynuma sarılarak, "Canciğer dostuz değil mi Pip, ölünceye dek?" dedi. "Ağlamasana, iki gözüm Pip'ciğim."
Bu kısa aradan sonra Joe anlatmasını bıra | -0.355343 | -2.147252 | -1.62916 | -1.462885 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 52,224 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ktığı yerden sürdürdü.
"Uzun lafın kısası, işte böyle Pip. Durum vaziyetler böyle olduğundan işte hepsi bu! Bana bak Pip, beni eğitmeyi sen üstleneceksin ya... bak, peşin deyivereyim de günah benden gitsin: Kafam kalındır benim, odun gibi kalındır, ha... Bir de bizim baş başa çalıştığımızı ablan pek görmese iyi olur. Senin anlayacağın, samanın altından yürütmeliyiz suyumuzu. Neden mi samanın altından? Onu da deyivereyim, Pip."
Maşayı gene eline almıştı. Elinde maşa olmasa derdini anlatabileceğini sanmıyorum.
"Ablan hükümet etme sevdasındadır, Pip!"
"Hükümet sevdası mı Joe?"
Afallamıştım çünkü bu sözlerden hayal meyal çıkardığım anlam, ablamın Savunma ya da Maliye Bakanlığı filan gibi bir şey uğruna Joe'dan boşanmış olmasıydı (ki bu düşünceye umutla sarıldığımı da itiraf etmeliyim).
"Hükümet etme sevdası," dedi Joe. "Yani şunu demeye getiriyorum ki seninlen benim başımızda hükümet kurup bizleri yönetmek, iki gözüm."
"Haa!"
Joe, "Senin ablan evinin içinde okumuş adam sevmez," diye sözünü sürdürdü. "Hele benim okuyup yazmamı hepten istemez, çünkü ayaklanmamdan korkar. Hani komutana başkaldırmak gibilerden, anlıyorsun ya?"
Bir soru sormak üzereydim; "Neden..." bile demiştim ki Joe beni susturdu.
"Dur bir dakika. Ben senin ne diyeceğini biliyorum Pip, ama biraz sabır! Ablanın durup durup başımıza dediği dedik, çaldığı düdük olup çıktığını yadsıyacak değilim. Bizi kündeye getirdiğini, tepemize yaman bindiğini de yadsıyacak değilim. Senin ablan hele bir hışımla kameti artırmayagörsün, Pip..." Joe kapıdan yana bakıp sesini alçaltarak, "Böyle zamanlarda eli maşalının ta kendisi olduğunu dürüstlük adına itiraf etmek zorundayım, dostum; acı ama gerçek!"
Joe, "eli maşalı" derken bir değil bin kadından söz edercesine konuşmuştu.
"Neden ayaklanmıyorum, öyleyse? Sözünü kestiğimde bunu soracaktın, değil mi, Pip?"
"Evet, Joe."
Joe, "Çünkü," dedi. Sonra sakalını sıvazlayabilmek için maşayı sol eline aktardı. Böylesine dinginliğe büründüğü zamanlarda ben ondan tüm umudumu keserdim. "Çünkü senin ablan kafalı | -0.320416 | -1.925215 | -1.52771 | -1.400453 | [
-0.24405656261579312,
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] | 1,334,895 | 53,248 | Book | -1 | -1 |
kadındır, hem de çok kafalı."
Joe'yu duraksatabilmek umuduyla, "O da nesi?" diye sordum.
Gelgelelim Joe'nun betimlemesi hazır beklemekteymiş. Joe bana dik dik bakarak, "Ablan işte," diye ters yönden bir yanıtla yolumu kesiverdi.
Sonra gözlerini indirip gene sakalını sıvazlayarak, "Bense kafalı değilimdir," diye ekledi. "Sonra, Pip... buna çok ciddi kulak vermeni özellikle dilerim, iki gözüm... zavallı anacığımı düşünür dururum hep; ömrünce çalışıp didinmiş, saçını süpürge etmiş, gene de hiç rahata ermemiş, gün görmemiş bir kadın... hiç gitmez anamın çektiği çileler gözümün önünden. Bu yüzden kadına acı çektireceğim diye öylesine ödüm kopar ki Pip, bir yanlışlık yapıp onu inciteceğime, başka yanlışlık yapıp kendim incineyim, bin kat iyidir. Bu arada keşke incinen yalnız ben olaydım. Pip, keşke şu gıdıkçıdan koruyabileydim seni. Çekilecek ne varsa hepsini ben çekebilmek isterdim. Her neyse işte, işin olanı biteni, uzunu kısası ve de dosdoğrusu bu, Pip'ciğim. Bundan böyle kimi kişilerin pek kusuruna bakmayacağını umarım, iki gözüm."
Yaşımın küçüklüğüne karşın, o geceden sonra Joe'ya karşı yepyeni bir hayranlık beslemeye başladım sanıyorum. Gene eskisi gibi ikimiz eşittik, eşit olmasına da, o geceden sonra oturup Joe'ya bakarak düşündüğüm dalgın zamanlarda, Joe'yu kendimden üstün gördüğümü anlar oldum.
Joe ateşe odun atmaya kalkarak, "Bu arada," dedi, "bak, bizim emektar Felemenk işi saate! Sekiz kez vurabilmek için ıkınıp sıkınmaya başladı bile! Ama bizim hanım daha görünürlerde yok. Umarım Pumblechook Amca'nın kısrağı buzda kayıp düşmemiş ola."
Ablam ara sıra, pazar kurulduğu günlerde Pumblechook Amca'yla çarşıya çıkar, ona evi için gerekli olan, ancak kadın kısmının akıl erdirebileceği alışverişlerinde yardım ederdi. Pumblechook Amca bekârdı çünkü; evdeki kâhya kadına da pek güvenmezdi. O gün de pazar kurulmuş olduğundan ablamla Pumblechook Amca gene alışverişteydiler.
Joe ateşi yeniledi, ocağın önünü süpürdü, sonra kapıya gittik, bakalım nal seslerini duy | -0.751521 | -2.011165 | -1.826987 | -1.579947 | [
-0.8295928085127633,
-0.6734498096069045
] | [
-2.190227568790673,
-1.832101852528729
] | [
-1.9487262944017611,
-1.7052471559648714
] | [
-1.6033594656927168,
-1.5565348008641648
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abilecek miyiz diye. Kuru soğuk bir geceydi, rüzgâr bıçak gibi kesiyordu, yerler bembeyaz, sert bir kırağıyla kaplıydı. İnsan bu gece, bataklıkta, açıkta kalsa ölür, diye geçirdim içimden. Sonra yıldızlara baktım; insanın soğuktan donarken yüzünü göğe çevirmesi, gene de bu sayısız parıltılı yığınlarda hiçbir acıma, hiçbir yardım bulamaması kim bilir nasıl acı gelir, diye düşündüm.
Joe, "İşte kısrağın nal sesleri!" diye bağırdı. "Çın çın ötüyor, kurban olduğum!"
Don tutmuş yoldaki nal sesleri her zamankinden daha ahenkli geliyordu kulağa, çalgı sesi gibi. Kısrak da her zamankinden daha hızlı, canlı adımlarla yaklaşır gibiydi. Ablam inebilsin diye bir sandalye çıkardık, pencereyi ışıklı görsünler diye ateşi deşeledik, her şeyin yerli yerinde olduğuna emin olmak için mutfağı son bir kez gözden geçirdik. Biz bu hazırlıkları bitirdiğimiz sırada onların arabası da kapı önünde durdu. Gözlerine kadar sarınıp sarmalanmışlardı. Ablamı hemen indirdik. Mr. Pumblechook da inip kısrağın üstüne bir örtü örttü, sonra hepimiz birden mutfağa doluştuk. İçeriye bizimle birlikte dolan soğuk hava, ateşin bütün ısısını üfürüp götürmüş gibi oldu.
"Bir bilseniz!" diyerek ablam şalını, pelerinini heyecanından acele acele çıkardı, başlığını da bağcıklarını çözmeden başından arkaya, omzuna doğru itti. "Bu çocuk eğer ki bu gece şükredip elimi öpmezse başka ne zaman öper, bilmem!"
Ben, neye şükredeceği konusunda zerrece bilgisi olmayan bir çocuğun takınabileceği kadar minnet dolu bir tutum takındım.
Ablam, "Tek dileğim, başına vurup da burnu büyümesin," diye ekledi. "Ama ben malımı bilirim. Nerede o günler!"
Pumblechook Amca, "Hanımefendiye sökmez ki!" dedi. "Böyle şeylere göz yummaz o, insanı hemen yerli yerine oturtuverir."
Hanımefendi mi? Hangi hanımefendi? Joe'dan yana baktım, dudaklarımı hafifçe kıpırdatıp kaşlarımı kaldırarak bu soruyu sordum. Joe da benden yana bakmakta, kendi dudaklarının, kaşlarının kıpırtısıyla bana o da sormaktaydı: "Hanımefendi?" Ablam onun bu bakışını yakalayınca | -0.499501 | -1.778383 | -1.58858 | -1.334118 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 55,296 | Book | -1 | -1 |
Joe'cuk böyle zamanlarda huyu olduğu üzere hemen uysallıkla başını eğip elinin tersini burnunun üstünden geçirdi, sonra karısına baktı.
Ablam "Ee?" diye çıkıştı. "Böyle bel bel neye bakıyorsun gene? Yangın mangın mı var, ha?"
Joe inceliğinden neredeyse kırılarak, "Hani kimi kişiler," diye dolaylı yoldan dokundurdu. "Hanımefendi gibilerden bir söz ettiler de..."
Ablam, "Hanımefendiyse, hanımefendi demeyelim mi?" dedi. "Miss Havisham'a beyefendi mi demek istiyorsun? Gerçi sen kiim, onun karşısına çıkıp konuşmak kim, ya, gene neyse."
"Kasabadaki Miss Havisham mı?" diye Joe sordu.
"Köyde de mi bir Miss Havisham var yoksa?" diye ablam onu tersledi. "Miss Havisham bizim oğlan gitsin onun evinde oynasın istiyor; o da gidecek elbet. Gitmesi kendi iyiliği için," diye ablam benden yana öyle bir baş salladı ki bunun karşısında kim olsa hemen çevik, atılgan bir oyuncu olup çıkardı. "Hele bir gidip oynamasın orada, ben ona gösteririm!"
Kasabadaki Miss Havisham'ın adını duymuştum. Çepeçevre bütün köylerde Miss Havisham'ın adını duymayan yoktu ki zaten. Dünyalar kadar zengin, asık suratlı bir hanım olduğu, hırsızlar girmesin diye kapısı penceresi sımsıkı kapatılmış, kocaman, karanlık bir evde, dünyayla ilişkisini kesmiş olarak yaşadığı söylenirdi.
Joe şaşkınlıktan ağzı açık kalarak, "Vay canına!" diye mırıldandı. "Bu hanfendi bizim Pip'i nerden tanır ki?"
Ablam, "Mankafa!" diye bağırdı. "Pip'i tanıdığını nerden çıkardın?"
Joe gene deminki inceliğiyle, "Hani kimi kişiler," diye dokundurdu. "Pip'i evine, oynamaya çağırmış, dedilerdi de..."
"Ne olmuş yani? Bu hanım Pumblechook Amcamıza sormuş olamaz mı, bildiği iyi bir çocuk var mı diye, hani gidip orada oynayacak? Pumblechook Amcamızın belki bu hanımdan mülk kiraladığını, arada kira ödemeye, oraya gidebileceğini de mi almaz senin o kalın kafan? Arada diyorum, bak. Yılda dört kez, iki kez demiyorum ki kafan karışmasın diye. Arada, diyorum. O zaman da Miss Havisham, amcamıza sormuş olamaz mı, gidip orda oynayacak iyi bir çocuk biliyor mu diye? Sayın amcamız da, hep bizim iyiliğimizi düşünür, bizi esirger ya, sen bunun farkı | -0.569354 | -1.746152 | -1.504884 | -1.258678 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 56,320 | Book | -1 | -1 |
nda olmasan bile Joseph," diye ablam Joe'dan yana, dünyanın en değerbilmez, en vurdumduymaz yeğenine bakıyormuşçasına bakarak, derinden kınayan bir sesle ekledi: "İşte bu amca o zaman Miss Havisham'a, nah bizim şu zıpçıktı oğlanın sözünü etmiş olamaz mı? Uğrunda şunca yıldır gönüllü köleler gibi saçımı süpürge ettiğim şu bizim oğlan!"
"Dillerin dert görmesin!" diye Mr. Pumblechook araya girdi. "Ne de güzel söyledin, hanımefendi, tam can alacak yerinden yakalayıp üstüne bastın. Aferin sana! İşte, Joseph, şimdi durumu biliyorsun."
Zavallı Joe elinin tersini, özür dilercesine burnuna sürtedursun ablam, "Yok, Joseph," diye konuşmasını sürdürdü. "İçinden ne düşünürsen düşün, sen durumu daha bilmiyorsun. Bildiğini sanıyorsun belki ama hiç bilmiyorsun, Joseph, Pumblechook Amcamızın önerisini bilmiyorsun çünkü. Bilmiyorsun ki, Miss Havisham'a gitmesiyle bu çocuğun başına devlet kuşu konabileceğini, kim bilir, geleceğinin sağlama bağlanabileceğini akıldan çıkarmayan amcamız, eksik olmasın, hemen bu akşam çocuğu kendi arabasıyla kasabaya götürüp gece kendi evinde yatırmayı, yarın sabah da kendi elcağızıyla Miss Havisham'ın karşısına çıkarmaya gönüllü oldu. Yaa!" Sonra ablam birden telaşlanıp başlığını çıkararak, "Tanrı benim cezamı vermesin, e mi!" diye bağırdı. "Burda durmuş bu alıklara laf anlatacağım derken Pumblechook Amca'yı bekletiyorum. Kapıda kısrak soğuk alacak, çocuk desen tepeden tırnağa kir paslara belenmiş!"
Böyle diyerek ablam kuzu görmüş atmaca gibi üstüme atladı. Yüzüm tahta leğenlere bastırılarak, kafam su fıçılarının muslukları altına tutularak sabunlarla öyle bir yoğruldum, çitilendim, öylesine kazınarak silinip durulandım, havlularla kurutulup tartaklandım ki, inanın, kendimden geçer gibi oldum. (Sırası gelmişken şunu belirtmek isterim ki insan yüzünün üzerinden acımasızcasına geçen bir nikâh halkasının pürüzlü etkisi konusunda, yeryüzünün tüm uzmanlarından daha bilgili olduğuma inanıyorum.)
Yıkanma ayini sona erdikten sonra, eski zamanlarda tövbe getiren günahkârlara çuval giydirdikleri gibi benim sırtıma da kaskatı ketenden temiz pak çamaşırlar geçirildi. En dar, en korkunç takımı | -0.359109 | -1.638714 | -1.530247 | -1.214455 | [
-0.3926663466621586,
-0.32555225064121934
] | [
-1.6315514514220404,
-1.645876480072518
] | [
-1.4059707149695275,
-1.654522335457186
] | [
-1.2079511849182785,
-1.2209580362595427
] | 1,024 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 57,344 | Book | -1 | -1 |
mın içine tıkıştırıldım, elim kolum sımsıkı kasılmış durumda Pumblechook Amca'ya teslim edildim. Kendisi beni bir jandarma resmîliğiyle teslim aldı, sonra, deminden beri vermek için can attığını bildiğim demeçle bana veryansın etti:
"Evlat, bütün dostlarına otur kalk, dua et, hele seni kendi elcağızlarıyla büyütmüş olanlara!"
"Sağlıcakla kal, Joe!"
"Sen de sağlıcakla git, Pip, iki gözüm!"
Şimdiye dek Joe'dan hiç ayrılmamıştım. Hem duygularımın hem de sabun köpüklerinin etkisiyle, arabaya bindikten sonra bir süre yıldızları göremedim. Zamanla yıldızlar birer birer göz kırpmaya başladılar bana. Gene de, Miss Havisham'ın evinde oyun oynamaya ne diye gönderildiğim, orada ne gibi bir oyun oynamak zorunda olduğum sorusuna hiçbir ışık tutmadılar.
# 8
Mr. Pumblechook'un dükkânı yakın köylerin pazaryeri olan kasabanın High Sokağı'ndaydı, darı ve tohum tüccarlarının dükkânlarına yaraşan unlu, baharatlı bir kokuyla doluydu. Dükkânında böyle küçücük, sayısız çekmeceleri olduğu için Pumblechook Amca da çok mutlu bir adam olsa gerek, diye aklımdan geçti. En alttaki birkaç çekmeceyi açıp da kahverengi kâğıtlara sarılmış duran çiçek tohumlarıyla çiçek soğanlarını görünce, acaba güneşli günlerde bunlar zindanlarından kurtulup fışkırarak renk renk açmak isterler mi ki, diye merak ettim.
Bu düşünceler kafamı kurcaladığı sırada, kasabaya gelişimin ilk sabahıydı. Bir gece önce beni hemen eğik çatılı bir tavan arasında yatmaya çıkarmışlardı. Karyolanın bulunduğu köşede çatı öyle alçalıyordu ki, kaşlarımla kiremitler arasında yarım metrelik yer ya vardır, ya yoktur, diye tahminde bulunmuştum.
İşte bu sabahın bu erken saatinde de, dükkânda tohumlarla fitilli kadife arasındaki garip akrabalığı keşfetmekteydim. Çünkü Pumblechook Amca ve yamağı fitilli kadife giymişlerdi. Nedendir bilmem, tohumların havasıyla kokusu fitilli kadifeye, fitilli kadifenin havasıyla kokusu da tohumlara öyle bir sinmişti ki ben hangisinin hangisi olduğunu ayırt edemiyordum. Kafam bu tür düşüncelerle dolu olduğu için biraz sonra Mr. Pumblechook'un işini, karşı kaldırımdaki semerciyi süzmek yoluyla y | -0.494707 | -1.524114 | -1.454159 | -1.235266 | [
-0.33787932950220817,
-0.6515350027429243
] | [
-1.3951884786891575,
-1.653038994397757
] | [
-1.269013699598777,
-1.6393048893048803
] | [
-1.3172087361848994,
-1.1533224092849679
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ürüttüğünü fark ettim. Semerci de zanaatını, araba yapımcısını gözlemek yoluyla uygular gibiydi. Araba yapımcısına gelince, onun ekmeğini taştan çıkarma yöntemi, ellerini ceplerine sokup fırıncıyı gözlemekti. Fırıncı kollarını göğsünde kavuşturmuş, donuk gözlerle bakkala bakıyor, bakkalsa dükkân kapısında durmuş karşıki eczacıya doğru esniyordu. High Sokağı'nda zanaatıyla uğraşan tek kişi saatçiydi sanırım. O, büyüteç takılı gözünü küçücük masasından hiç ayırmıyor, iş gömleği giymiş köylülerden oluşan bir seyirci topluluğu da dükkânının önünden hiç eksik olmuyordu.
Mr. Pumblechook ile ben saat sekizde, dükkânın ardındaki odada kahvaltımızı ettik. Yamak, çay kupasıyla tereyağlı ekmeğini dükkânın önündeki bir bezelye çuvalının üstüne koymuş oradan yiyip içiyordu. Mr. Pumblechook'un arkadaşlığından hiç hoşnut kalmadım. Birincisi, o da ablam gibi beni açlıkla terbiye edip cezalandırmak gerektiğine inanmış olsa gerek ki ekmeğimin üzerine elinden geldiğince az tereyağı sürmüştü. Sütümün içine de öyle bol sıcak su karıştırmıştı ki hiç süt koymasaydı daha dürüstlük etmiş olurdu. Bu yetmezmiş gibi Mr. Pumblechook aritmetikten başka laf da etmiyordu. Daha ben, terbiyede kusur etmemek amacıyla, "Günaydın," der demez o şişinerek, "Yedi kere dokuz kaç eder bakayım?" diye sormuştu! Nasıl yanıtlayabilirdim, kuzum, böyle yapyabancı bir yerde aç karnına, bu yollu sıkıştırılınca? Karnım açlıktan zil çalıyordu, ama ben daha birinci lokmamı yutamadan Mr. Pumblechook kahvaltı boyunca sürüp giden bir toplama işlemine başladı:
"Yedi?.. Artı dört?.. Artı sekiz?.. Artı iki?.. Altı daha?.. Bir de on?.."
İki işlem arasında bir lokma, bir yudum yutabilmek için çırpınıyordum. Mr. Pumblechook ise rahatça koltuğuna kurulmuş, kafasını hiç çalıştırmadan, kusuruma bakmazsanız açgözlü, obur diyebileceğim bir iştahla domuz pastırmalı sıcak çörekleri tıkınıyordu.
Bütün bu nedenlerden ötürü saat on olup da Miss Havisham'ın evine gitmek üzere yola çıktığımız zaman sevindim. Anc | -0.526895 | -1.703177 | -1.515029 | -1.223559 | [
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ak, bu hanımın karşısına çıktığımda ne yapacağımı kestiremediğim için tedirgindim. Bir çeyrek saat sonra Miss Havisham'ın evine geldik. Burası görünümüyle insanın içini karartan eski bir tuğla yapıydı. Kapısı bacası demir parmaklıklarla sarılıydı. Pencerelerden kimileri örülüp kapatılmıştı. Geri kalanların da alt yanlarına paslı demir parmaklıklar çekilmişti. Evin önünde bir avlu vardı; o da demir parmaklıkla çevriliydi. Bu yüzden çıngırağı çaldıktan sonra, birisi gelsin de kapıyı açsın diye bekledik. Bahçe kapısında beklediğimiz sırada ben içeriye şöyle bir göz attım. (O dakikada bile Mr. Pumblechook, "Artı on dört?" diye soruyordu ya, ben onu duymazlıktan geldim.) Evin yanında büyük bir bira fabrikası bulunduğunu gördüm. Fabrika işler durumda değildi, uzun zamandan beri işlemediği de anlaşılıyordu.
Bir pencere açıldı; duru bir ses, "Adınız?" diye sordu.
Yol arkadaşım buna, "Pumblechook," diye yanıt verdi.
Ses, "Peki," dedi, pencere kapandı, biraz sonra da avluya, elinde bir anahtar destesiyle bir kız çıkarak bize doğru ilerledi.
"Bu da Pip," dedi Mr. Pumblechook.
Kız, "Bu da Pip, demek," diye mırıldandı. Pek güzeldi, pek de kibirliye benziyordu. "Gel bakalım, Pip."
Mr. Pumblechook da geliyordu ya kız bahçe kapısını örterek onu durdurdu.
"Mmm," dedi. "Miss Havisham'la görüşmek mi istiyorsunuz?"
Bozulmuş olan Mr. Pumblechook, "Eğer kendileri benimle görüşmek istiyorlarsa," dedi.
"Ah," diye yanıtladı kız, "Ne var ki o sizinle görüşmek istemiyor."
Bunu öylesine tartışma kaldırmaz, kesin bir biçimde söylemişti ki Mr. Pumblechook, durum çok ağırına gitmiş olmakla birlikte gık diyemedi. Yalnızca (bir suç işlemişim gibi) beni sert bakışlarla süzdü; paylarcasına, "Evlat, terbiyeni takın; seni kendi elcağızlarıyla büyütmüş olanların yüzünü kara çıkarma," diye konuştu, sonra gitti. Ben hâlâ, birkaç adım sonra geri dönerek, "Artı on altı?" diye soracağından korkmuyordum desem yalan olur. Neyse ki geri gelmedi.
Genç kılavuzum bahçe kapısını kilitleyip önüme düştü, avluyu geçerek eve doğru yürüdük | -0.268711 | -1.807033 | -1.489667 | -1.347124 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 60,416 | Book | -1 | -1 |
. Avlu taş döşeli, tertemizdi; yalnız taşların aralıklarında otlar bitmişti. Bira fabrikasına giden bir yol vardı. Bu yolun ayrıldığı yerdeki tahta kapı açık duruyordu. Geride tüm fabrika, ta arka avlunun duvarına dek açık duruyordu. Her yan bomboş, ıpıssızdı. Zaten soğuk olan rüzgâr burada, dışarıdakine oranla daha bir soğuk eser gibiydi; fabrikanın bir yanından girip öbür yanından çıkarken ıslığımsı sesler çıkarıyordu, açık denizlerdeki gemi direklerinin gıcırtısı gibi...
Kız benim fabrikaya baktığımı gördü. "Orada şimdi yapılan sert biraların hepsini içsen bile gene de başın dönmez, çocuk," dedi.
Ben utana sıkıla, "Doğru söylediniz, küçükhanım," dedim.
"Sakın şimdilerde orada bira yapmaya kalkışma, çocuk; ekşi olur sonra, öyle değil mi?"
"Öyle gibi küçükhanım."
Kız, "Zaten kimsenin bira yapmaya kalkışacağı yok ya," diye ekledi. "O günler geçmiş artık. Fabrika dersen böyle bomboş işlemeden duracak, taa ki yıkılana dek. Sert biraya gelince, mahzenlerdeki tüm fıçıları boşaltsan Çiftlik Köşkü'nü sel gibi bira basar."
"Bu evin adı Çiftlik Köşkü mü, efendim?"
"Evin adlarından bir tanesi, çocuk."
"Demek çok adı var, ha, küçükhanım?"
"Bir tanesi daha var. Öbür adına _Satis_ diyorlar. Grekçeymiş, ya da Latince mi, İbranice mi, yoksa üçü birden mi, öyle bir şey; daha doğrusu benim için hepsi bir. Yeter anlamına geliyormuş."
"Yeter Köşkü," dedim. "Pek tuhaf bir ad, doğrusu küçükhanım."
"Öyle," dedi kız. "Ne var ki anlamı derinmiş. Böyle bir köşkü olan kişi dünyada başka şey istemez, demeye getirmişler adı taktıklarında. O günlerde insanlar çok az şeyle yetiniyorlarmış anlaşılan... Her neyse, sen sallanma da yürümene bak, çocuk."
Böyle iki lafın biri, hem de insanın hiç de gururunu okşamayan bir umursamazlıkla bana, "çocuk" deyip durmasına karşın kendisi de ben yaşlardaydı. Ne var ki kız olduğundan, güzelliğinden, kendine güvendiğinden ötürü benden büyük göstermesi doğaldı. Bana bir tepeden bakışı vardı, yirmi bir yaşındaymış, hem de bir sultanmış sanırdınız!
Eve yan bir | -0.224881 | -1.660202 | -1.593653 | -1.009597 | [
-0.5200461615590434,
0.07028394833942239
] | [
-1.7175016233249067,
-1.6029013941210848
] | [
-1.5429277303402782,
-1.6443773713556489
] | [
-1.171532001162738,
-0.8476614027652539
] | 1,024 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 61,440 | Book | -1 | -1 |
kapıdan girdik. (Koskocaman olan ön kapının önüne çifte zincir gerilmişti.) Dikkatime ilk çarpan şey bütün sofaların karanlık oluşuydu. Sonra kızın kapı ardında yanar bıraktığı mumu gördüm. Kız mumu eline aldı. Art arda sofalardan geçip bir merdiven tırmandık. Buraları da karanlıklar içindeydi. Yolumuzu yalnızca şamdanın ışığı aydınlatıyordu.
Sonunda bir oda kapısına geldiğimiz zaman kız, "Gir," dedi.
Ben de kibarlıktan çok utangaçlıktan, "Önce siz buyurun, küçükhanım," dedim.
Kız buna, "Gülünç olmasana, çocuk; ben gelmiyorum," diye karşılık verdi.
Sonra bir dudak büküşüyle yürüyüp gitti. Daha kötüsü, şamdanı da alıp götürdü.
Diken üstündeydim; az buçuk korkuyordum da. Gelgelelim kapıya vurmaktan başka yapabileceğim bir şey olmadığından kapıya vurdum; içeriden girmemi buyuran bir yanıt geldi. Ben de içeri girdim ve kendimi, şamdanlarla güzelce aydınlatılmış, eni konu geniş bir odada buldum. Odaya hiç gün ışığının girmediği belliydi. Gerçi eşyalardan çoğunun biçimiyle amaçları bana o zaman yabancı idiyse de bunun bir giyinme odası olduğunu gene eşyalardan çıkardım. Köşede, ipeklere sarılı, aynası yaldız çerçeveli bir masa göze çarpıyordu. Bunun kibar bir hanımefendinin tuvalet masası olduğunu ilk bakışta anlamıştım.
Masa başında oturan kibar hanımefendi olmasa bu gerçeği böyle ilk bakışta anlar mıydım, bilemeyeceğim. Bir koltukta, dirseğini bu masaya, başını da eline dayamış olarak, görüp göreceğim hanımefendilerin en acayibi oturmaktaydı.
Tepeden tırnağa ağır kumaşlara bürünmüştü; atlaslar, danteller, ipekliler, hepsi de bembeyaz. Ayakkabıları beyazdı. Saçına uzun, beyaz bir duvakla gelin çiçekleri takmıştı ya, saçları bembeyazdı. Boynunda, ellerinde takılar ışıldıyordu, masanın üzerinde de başka takıların parıltısı vardı. Sırtındakinden daha az tantanalı olan bir sürü giysilerle yarıaçık bavullar dört bir yana saçılmıştı. Hanımefendi giyinmesini daha bitirmemiş olsa gerek ki ayakkabılarından bir tekini giymişti; öbür tek masanın üzerinde, elinin yanında duruyordu. Duvağı başına yar | -0.633729 | -1.724664 | -1.52771 | -1.083085 | [
-0.6981039673288821,
-0.5693544770029987
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-1.7819642522520567,
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] | 1,334,895 | 62,464 | Book | -1 | -1 |
ım yamalak iliştirilmişti; saatiyle kösteğini henüz takmamıştı. Bunların yanında tülden bir yakalık vardı. Hanımefendinin mendiliyle eldivenleri, bir demet çiçekle bir dua kitabı, karmakarışık, masanın üstüne atılıvermiş duruyordu.
Bunların hepsini ilk bakışımda görmüş değildim, elbet. Gene de o ilk dakikalarda, sanılacağından çok şey seçebilmiştim. Beyaz olması gereken her şeyin çok önceleri beyaz olmakla birlikte şimdi donuklaşmış, solarak sararmış olduğunu görebiliyordum. Gelinin kendisinin de sırtındaki gelinlik gibi, masadaki çiçekler gibi buruşmuş olduğunu, çukura batmış gözlerinin parıltısı dışında cansız durduğunu görebiliyordum. Gelinliğin genç bir kadının yuvarlacık gövdesine otursun diye dikilmiş olduğunu, şimdi sardığı gövdeninse eriyerek bir deri bir kemik kaldığını görebiliyordum.
Bir gün beni panayırda mumdan yapılma bir heykeli görmeye götürmüşlerdi. Mum heykel bilmediğim, önemli bir kişinin tabut içinde yatışını canlandırıyordu ve tüyler ürperticiydi. Bir gün de bataklıktaki eski kiliselerden birinin mahzeninden çıkartılan bir iskeleti görmeye götürmüşlerdi. İskelet, şatafatlı bir giysinin pul pul dökülen kalıntıları içindeydi. Şimdi ise o mumyayla iskelet birleşip yaşayan bir çift göz edinmişlerdi ve bu kapkara, parıl parıl gözler bana bakmaktaydı sanki!
Masa başındaki hanımefendi, "Kimsin sen?" diye sordu.
"Pip, efendim."
"Pip mi?"
"Mr. Pumblechook'un bulduğu çocuk, efendim. Hani oynamaya gelen."
"Daha yaklaş, yüzüne bakayım. Sokul şöyle."
Hanımın gözlerinden kaçınarak yaklaşıp karşısında durduğum zaman çevremdeki şeyleri daha ayrıntılı olarak seçme olanağını buldum: Hanımın saatinin dokuza yirmi kala durmuş olduğunu, bir duvar saatinin de dokuza yirmi kalayı gösterdiğini fark ettim.
"Yüzüme bak," dedi Miss Havisham. "Sen doğduğundan bu yana güneş yüzü görmemiş olan bir kadından korkmuyorsun ya?"
Utanarak itiraf edeyim ki ona, "Hayır," yanıtının kapsadığı koskocaman yalanı söylemekten hiç çekinmedim.
O ise iki elini birden göğsünün sol yanına bastırarak, | -0.309031 | -1.678108 | -1.209412 | -1.084386 | [
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"Ellerimin altında ne var, biliyor musun?" diye sordu.
"Evet, efendim." Aklıma bataklıktaki o korkunç genç adam gelmişti.
"Ne var, peki?"
"Yüreğiniz."
"Kanayan bir yürek!"
Miss Havisham bu sözleri iyice vurgulayarak söylerken gözlerinde bir heyecan yalazlanmış, dudaklarında böbürlenmeyi andıran garip, ürpertici bir gülümseyiş belirmişti. Ellerini bir süre göğsünde tuttu, sonra ağır bir yük kaldırırcasına yavaş yavaş indirdi.
"Yorgunum," dedi Miss Havisham. "Oyalanmak istiyorum. Büyüklerden bıkkınlık geldi. Oyna!"
Zavallı bir çocuğa dünyada bundan daha güç bir görev yüklenemeyeceğini ileri sürersem sanırım en inatçı, en dik kafalı okuyucular bile bana hak vereceklerdir.
Miss Havisham, "Kimi zaman delice şeyler tuttururum ben," diye konuşmasını sürdürdü. "Şimdi de bu deliliği taktım aklıma: Çocukların oyun oynamasını seyretmek istiyorum." Sağ elini, "Hadi, hadi," diye sabırsızlıkla salladı. "Oynasana, ne duruyorsun; hadi, oyna, oyna!"
O dakikada, oyun oynamazsam ablamın bana "gösterecekleri" gözümün önünde canlanınca aklım başımdan giderek odanın içinde Pumblechook Amca'nın arabası gibi dört dönmeyi düşündüm. Ne var ki bu girişimi göze alamayarak caydım, öylece durduğum yerden Miss Havisham'a bakakaldım. Miss Havisham benim tutumumu inatçılığa yormuş olsa gerek ki bir süre birbirimizi iyice süzdükten sonra, "Aksi, söz dinlemez bir çocuk musun sen yoksa?" diye sordu.
"Yok, yok, efendim. Size çok acıyorum. Şu sırada bir oyun bulup oynayamadığım için de üzgünüm. Çünkü benden hoşnut kalmadığınızı söylerseniz ablam dünyayı başıma yıkar. Anlıyorsunuz ya, oynayabilsem seve seve oynardım. Gelgelelim, öyle yabancıyım ki burada, her şey öyle tuhaf, öyle yeni; çok güzel, gene de insana üzüntü veriyor..." Çok ileri gitmekten, gitmiş olmaktan korkarak sustum. Gene bakıştık.
Miss Havisham konuşmamızdan önce gözlerini benim üzerimden ayırarak üzerindeki giysiye, aynalı masaya, en sonunda da aynaya vuran kendi yüzüne baktı.
"Onun için çok yeni, benim için çok bildik," diye mırıldandı. "Onun için yabancı, bense hepsini ezberlemişim! Ama ikimiz i | 0.183282 | -1.728245 | -1.395826 | -1.088288 | [
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] | 1,334,895 | 64,512 | Book | -1 | -1 |