Newsgroup: it.cultura.single
Titolo: Nutell story

Spero vi giunga nuova.
Saluti
Lana
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STORY OF THE NUTELL (From the book of the Genesi)
Once upon a time, many, many, many, ma'na cifra of many years ago, at
The
beginning of the initiation of the mond, there was the caos.
One day, God (God is the name d'art of Dio), God, who was
disoccupated, had
a folgorant idea and so God created the nutell.
And God saw that the nutell was good, very good, very very good, good
'na
cifra.
The mangiation of God was long, He manged one million of barattols of
nutell
sfrutting the fact that God has not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff
too
much nutell...
And after this mangiation, God invented the Water Closed Run, the cors
in
the gabinet, and some nutell's derivates like the red bubbons, the
panz, the
cellulit and ceter, and ceter.
After di which (dopodiche') he invented Adamo ed Eva and all the
paradise
and he diss to Adamo and Eva: "Now you have all the Paradise, you can
do
everything, very tutt: you have the permission to eat, to drink, to
kiss, to
scop; nothing lavor, nothing affit, nothing concors of impiegats,
nothing
cod alla post, nothing IRPEF, ILOR.
Only very ozious life: television, telenovels, football, moviols,
process of
Monday, appell of Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and ceter, and
ceter.
You have gratis restaurants, cinemas, theaters, all the Paradise is
yours:
air-conditioned, autom riscaldament, moquette, parquett, tresset,
bidet,
omelette, eccet, eccet...
There's just one thing, remember, in tutt the Paradise just one thing
absolutely prohibited. Come, come to me in the giardin: this is "the
Nocciol", the alber of the nutell.
Only this alber of the nutell is prohibited, because I like the nutell
very
much, very very much, much 'na cifra and I want all the nutell, tutt
the
nutell for me."
During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva were very happy. Adamo said:
"What a
cool! ('Cool' is not in Italian 'freddo', no, 'What a cool' means 'Che
cul')
All the Paradise is nostr!" And everyday, ognigiorn, they discovered
something new. A lot of scoperts, many scoperts, many many scoperts,
'na
cifra di scoperts.
One day the scopert of the hot water, one day the scopert of the
spaghettis,
one day the cigarettes, and ceter, and ceter.
But one day, a trist day, a very very trist day, trist 'na cifra,
Adamo and
Eva fecer the scopert of the first colazion. And after the scopert of
the
cappuccin, the scopert of the aranch succ, the scopert of the
cornetts, they
understood that something was mancant.
"Eva!" said Adamo "Don't you think that qualcos is mancant here,
proprio
here, 'ncopp this fett?" "Second me" Eva risposed "'ncopp the fett you
have
to metter burr and marmelade."
"No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade schif myself. I want 'ncopp
this
fett something very particular, very very particular, particular 'na
cifra.
What do you think about the nutell?" "No, Adamo you are scording that
the
Signor said that's vietat!"
"Yes, I remember, but only a little assaggiation, don't succed
nothing!" And
Adamo sces in the cortil where the alber of the nutell was and he pres
a
small barattol and spalmed the brown cream on the fett and assagged
the
nutell.
Adamo and Eva don't ebber the time to exprimer the godiment that the
tuons
and fulmins apparved in the ciel and one voice said: "Potevamo stupirv
you
with special effects, but I'm God, not Fantagod! Adamo, Eva, come
here!
I'm very incazzed with you, very very incazzed, incazzed 'na cifra!
How did you permit to tocc the nutell? Didn't you remember that it was
prohibited?" "Cazz !" esclamed Adamo "It was prohibited!
"Oh, sorry, God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na cifra, God, I really
really
was completely scordat..."
"Don't do that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I can see everything, very
tutt,
and I know that you and the woman have deliberatament assaggiated the
nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very castig for your peccat.
But
siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can choose, you have two scelts:
Scelt
number 1: nothing nutell for ever and ever in the secols of the
secols,
amen!" "Nooo!" Eva was piagnucoling "It's a thing very tragic, very
very
tragic, tragic 'na cifra!"
"Aspett!" said God "Don't be frettolous woman... Scelt number 2: you
can
take the nutell, no problem, let's prend, prend, but for you is the
cacciation out of the Paradise. You will have to lavorar with the
sudor of
your front, you will zapp the terr, you'll have mal of schien and,
like this
don't bastass, everytime you will mang nutell, the malediction of the
brufols, of the mal of panch, of the cacarel will be cadent on you."
"Ale'!"
esclaimed Adamo "Thank you God, thank you, we don't interess the
cacciation
dal Paradise, the important is to have the nutell! Goodbye! Ciao,
ciao!"
And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this original peccat and this
malediction cadded on lor and on lor discendents, and on the
discendents of
the discendents. Infact, tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all
the
ragazz that per aver one fett of pan and nutell they scalan the
mountains
they stay in a tend al fredd and al gel and ceter, and ceter.
But the final pensier of tutti noi is "It's meglio faticar and soffrir
with
the nutell piuttost che the Terrestr Paradise senz the nutell."
....and here finisch the story!

Lana
Smemoranda di qualche anno fa, vero? ;)
-- 
Max's Fantasy Art Studio
http://www.maxbert.com
(no ".ARGH" in email)

Smemoranda di qualche anno fa, vero? ;)
Non lo so. Arrivata da quel nutelladipendente che e' mio fratello.
Ciao
Lana