Newsgroup: it.discussioni.auto
Titolo: [Jeremy Clarkson] Saab 9.3 Review :-D

"Saab 9-3
Too sharp to be cocky
There's no real need for lots of dials in a modern, computer-controlled
car. But they are still fitted, in greater numbers than ever. You still
find oil pressure gauges, volt meters, rev counters and so on. The new
Bugatti has a dial showing how much power you're using, while the
Rolls-Royce Phantom has one showing how much you have left.
But no car I've ever driven has a cockometer, a dial that shows how much
of a penis you look as you drive from place to place.
Take the new Range Rover Sport. If you are black or orange, then it
doesn't make you look like a cock at all. But if you are a white
marketing executive, then your cockometer would be right into the red
zone. You'll be at Defcon 4 of cockishness.
Then there's the new Aston Martin Vantage, and oh dear. Anyone driving
around in such a thing must have placed his or her order long before
they knew how much it would cost, how fast it would go and how much
space there was in the boot.
They signed on the dotted line simply because they wanted to be first to
pull up outside the tapas bar in the new Aston. In other words, they
ordered it only because they wanted to show off. And how cockish is
that? Of course, they've been lucky. The Vantage is a wonderful car, but
unfortunately if you go out and buy one now because you like the way it
sounds and the way it darts into corners like a terrier, it's no good.
We're going to see you and we're going to have you clocked as a cock.
The Mitsubishi Evo is an interesting case study. As a driving machine,
it has few peers. After you step out of that bin liner of an interior
all other cars feel lumpen and fat and unresponsive, so of course it
attracts a hardcore following of die-hard driving enthusiasts.
These are people whose need for speed overshadows all other
considerations, like style and comfort and value for money. So they're
prepared to drive around in a car that has a spoiler big enough to
sunbathe on and an exhaust like the Mont Blanc tunnel, and that means
they're openly flaunting their hobby, in the same way that trainspotters
openly flaunt theirs by standing on a windswept platform, knee deep in
other people's urine, with their Tupperware and their Man at Millets
clothing. People who flaunt their hobbies in public are a bit sinister,
I think.
 A girl in a Mitsubishi Evo is an altogether different kettle of fish.
Because by demonstrating her need for speed, what she's doing is scaring
men away. This means that in all probability she's a lesbian. And that's
not cockish at all
Strangely, however, a girl in a Mitsubishi Evo is an altogether
different kettle of fish. Because by demonstrating her need for speed,
what she's doing is scaring men away. This means that in all probability
she's a lesbian. And that's not cockish at all.
As a rule of thumb, then, any car that wades into battle with nothing in
its armoury except spoilers and sporting pretensions — Evos, Imprezas,
Caterhams and so on — will make a man look like a trainspotter, and any
car that has a long waiting list before it's even on sale will make him
look like a terrible, social-climbing show-off who needs a flashy
keyring to make any sort of headway in life.
Nothing, however, is set in stone. Like fashion in clothing, fashion in
cars is in a state of constant flux. Take the Porsche 911 as a prime
example of this. Back in the Eighties, this was really the only
expensive car that you could realistically buy and use every day. So
it's what City traders from Goodyear Stickleback & Bunson Burner bought
when the seven-figure bonus came through. Never in the field of human
history has so much been done so wrong by so few. The 911 had a cock
rating of such magnitude they were reading about it in seismology
centres as far away as California.
Now, though, there are many expensive cars that you can buy and use
every day: the Aston DB9, the Ferrari 430, the Maserati Quattroporte and
so on. All of these are more current and more stylish, so once again the
911 is bought only by people who appreciate its traction, its steering
and its grunt. Nowadays, 911s are bought for the right reasons, and that
means it isn't cockish at all to have one.
Other cars that fit the bill are the Ford GT — that anti-fit blue and
white oval on the bonnet means you definitely didn't buy it for showing
off — the Mercedes SLK 55, the Audi RS 4, the BMW M5, the proper Range
Rover, the Rolls-Royce Phantom, all small French hatchbacks and, sitting
surprisingly near the top, the Ford Mondeo. It really does hide a
startling bright light under an enormously impenetrable bush.
But the winner here, the least cockish car that money can buy, is
actually the Saab 9-3 estate you see above. If you put a Hummer H2 or a
Dodge pick-up truck at one end of the scale, then this is at the other.
It's not a Hawaiian Day-Glo tank. It's a special forces sniper.
Quiet. Unassuming. And invisible. Until you pull the trigger.
Saab was actually the third car maker to start using turbocharging but
no other has persevered for quite so long. There have been some mistakes
along the way. In the Eighties, for instance, your Saab would get from
40 to 70 faster than a Ferrari Testarossa, but so bad was the torque
steer when that mountain of torque hit the front wheels, you had no real
say where you'd be when 70 was achieved. Oh, and if you put your foot
down in the wrong gear, the lag was so bad, you wouldn't move at all.
That's all ancient history now, though. The car I drove had a brand new
Australian-built 2.8 litre V6 engine that will one day find its way into
various Vauxhalls, Opels and even the next generation of Alfa Romeos. In
the Saab, of course, it's turbocharged to give monstrous potency in the
mid ranges, but now all the drawbacks are gone. Now you can put your
foot down wherever and whenever the mood takes you, and whoomph,
everyone within range will be left wondering why the car they never
noticed in the first place has just disappeared.
It's good this. I really did fear when Saab was bought by the huge
pensions and healthcare company called General Motors that some of the
turbo individuality would be lost. And I was really scared when I found
they were putting the 9-3 on a Vauxhall Vectra platform, but I'm happy
to report that silent forced-induction kick in the back is still there.
And some.
Speed, however, is only part of the Saab's appeal. Style's another and I
have to say this is a good-looking car, in the same way that Benicio Del
Toro is a good-looking man. It's an especially nice place to sit. The
seats are stunning, the dash works like a dream, especially if you know
your way around the cockpit of an F-15, and the steering wheel's half
silver. The only real drawback is the most dim-witted, slothful and
complicated sat nav system I've ever lost my temper with.
You should have seen the route it selected from Notting Hill to London
City airport. An ant with ink on its feet could have come up with a
better solution. And more quickly too. And it was a £1,200 option.
But this, really, is my only complaint. The boot's vast and comes with
another load space under a flap in the floor that is just about big
enough for badly behaved children.
The handling's pretty good, too, considering that under the floor it's a
Vauxhall Vectra. But the best thing is the price. The range starts at
less than £18,000. And even the 2.8 litre Aero model I tested, which
comes with pretty well all the toys, is less than £29,000. You'd
struggle to put a similarly sized, similarly fast German car on the road
for less.
And what if you succeeded? What if you did end up with a BMW or an Audi
estate car? You'd be constantly aware that no cockometer was fitted
because if it was it'd be constantly hovering around Defcon 1. It'd be
constantly reminding you that you'd been a sheep.
The Saab has no cockometer because it doesn't need one. You've
deliberately gone your own way, deliberately bought something that isn't
a BMW or a Merc or an Audi. And in the process you've ended up with
something that's not only a little bit different, but also rather good."
http://driving.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,12529-1868180,00.html
:-)
Ciao,
Wini

LOL, il "cockometer"
Perň, a quanto pare, il V6 australiano sembra interessante :)
-- 
Zotto Sonica V6 MY2002 driver
http://www.g2kweb.it/?85


Su Evo l'hanno bastonato.
Cmq Clarkson č divertente ma sta diventano un po' un vecchio bacucco, a 
talmente tanti pregiudizi sulle auto che le sue recensioni hanno info nulle 
e giudizi inattendibili. 

 e giudizi inattendibili. 
beh pregiudizi a parte (e un'h dimenticata) a me jeremy fa pisciare 
dalle risate con le sue battutine ma soprattutto l'accento con cui le 
dice. quando infama i tedeschi, o gli americani, o ancora i francesi per 
le loro macchine... (tutta gelosia per aver perso l'industria 
automobilistica ed aver ceduto i loro marchi miglori a stranieri)
mi viene in mente lo sfottò che ha fatto al nano che elogiava la morgan, 
costruita ancora artigianalmente con parti dell'abitacolo in legno.
aveva scommesso con lui che in 1 giro di pista riusciva a dargli tanto 
tempo con la noble da potersi fermare scendere e leggere un libro 
intero. e l'ha fatto, leggendo le avventure del piccolo bruco, che poi 
gli ha regalato dicendogli "make sure it doesn't eat your chassis"

"pele" <ste1...@MAILCALDA.com> ha scritto nel messaggio 
news:xc5ef.38080$65.11...@twister1.libero.it...
cut
Sě sě ma sono daccordo, in quanto a intrattenimento top gear č impagabile 
(quando ricomincia?) perň quando scrive lui č un po' pesante. Meglio in 
video. 

 
non l'ho mai letto prima d'ora e ammetto che a metà articolo (o poco 
meno) mi sono rotto e ho smesso lì...
non so quando ricomincia ma dato che l'ho scoperto da poco mi diverto a 
scaricare le puntate e a guardarle...

"pele" <ste1...@MAILCALDA.com> ha scritto nel messaggio 
news:pB5ef.38125$65.11...@twister1.libero.it...

Di solito a Novembre reiniziano le puntate su BBC1... boh! 

 
beh, per Evo tutto quello che va meno di una Elise è un cesso... ;-)
-- 
Il Roncolini
(30, 423)
Arrogante Spider
Psichedelia, ti fai gli acidi e poi sei in acido.
Psichedelia, ti fai le basi e poi sei basico.

 
ma non è la tua!
:-PPPP


 ma non è la tua!
Hai ragione, la mia non è Station Wagon :-P
Ciao,
Wini