Newsgroup: it.hobby.scacchi
Titolo: Pokemon & Chess

How Pokemon Showed Me That Chess is Evil
I realized the truth. Chess is very much like Pokemon! 
CBN.com - 
A satirical essay on reactionary Christian parenting 
By Mike Nappa 
I can’t believe how blind I’ve been. All these years I thought the
game of  chess was just an innocuous form of entertainment for kids
that also helped  build logic skills. But recently I’ve received
several urgent emails sent to  Christians all over warning me of the
dangers of the currently popular games  and toys in the Pokemon line.
And I’ve read articles by respected Christian  leaders telling me
plainly that Pokemon is of the devil.
Then, all of a sudden, I realized the truth. Chess is very much like
Pokemon! 
That means chess must be a Satanic plot against my kid too!
Think about it. For starters, kids playing Pokemon (as I’ve been told)
are  encouraged to become all-powerful Lords over their collection of
Pokemon creatures---something  that’s unhealthy because it gives them
a desire to become gods over their characters. 
The same is true in chess! A child who plays that game not only
becomes a Lord  over his or her chess pieces, that child literally
becomes a king of kings (the  white king or the black king, whichever
side the child is on). That must mean  that children are being taught
to put themselves in the place of Jesus, the one true King of kings!
That’s not all. In Pokemon, all the characters possess at least one
strange  power that they use during the game. Guess what? The same is
true in chess!
I mean, every single chess character has at least one strange power!
Take the  knight for example (and by the way, isn’t a knight a bloody
and violent image  for a kids’ game?). In chess, the Knight has this
strange power to attack other  pieces by moving in an L shape on the
board. And did you notice that the L shape  represented by the
knight’s move is also the first letter of the name Lucifer---which 
is another name for Satan? That must mean the knight is literally
walking in  Satan’s path!
And then there’s the bishop---it can only move in crooked paths on the
board,  and then only on a certain color path as well. This is
obviously a wicked and  racist representation of all clergymen (and
clergywomen), and an insidious attempt  to make kids think that church
leaders are all crooks and bigots! And the queen? 
 She’s the most powerful character on the board, and she goes both
ways---diagonal  and straight. Plain and simple, that’s a ringing
endorsement of a homosexual/bisexual  lifestyle! (Remember AC/DC?)
There’s more. In Pokemon, the characters have contests where they
fight until  one of them faints. In chess, the characters don’t simply
have contests---they’re  in mortal combat! Each chess piece is intent
on obliterating the chess characters of the opposite color (which can
only be another violent racist agenda, I’m  sure). And when a chess
piece loses a fight, it doesn’t simply faint, it is  KILLED and
FORCIBLY REMOVED to a chess-carcass laden purgatory outside edges 
 of the board!
And you know what? In Pokemon, kids are encouraged to make their
characters  evolve into stronger characters. Yep, you guessed it. Same
thing happens in  chess---only worse! If a player loses a queen, that
player can evolve a pawn  into a queen by getting it all the way
across the board. What’s worse, in order  to evolve that pawn into a
queen, the player must reincarnate the dead queen  out of its
purgatory on the side of the board. That means both Satanic Darwinism 
 and demonic New Age philosophy are both endorsed and encouraged for
the child  chess player!
And here’s the really bad part. The same company that makes
occult-based card  games also makes Pokemon cards. That means Pokemon
players will inevitably move  up to harder, occultic games like Magic:
The Gathering and such. Get this: Chess  is a board game. That means
kids who play chess will inevitably move up to harder,  occultic board
games like Ouija! And what’s worse, the makers of Ouija have also made
chess sets! My hard-earned dollars spent on a chess game for my son 
 must have been immediately spent to create thousands and thousands of
Ouija  games! How could I have been so ignorant!
Kids today are so obsessed with Pokemon that they’re taking toys to
school  and playing with them there. Well, I’ve recently found out
that entire CLUBS  of chess players are cropping up in schools
nationwide---with the support of  extremely liberal, non-Christian
teachers, I’m sure. And these so-called clubs  do nothing for hours
but PLAY CHESS! How obsessive can these kids be? There 
 are even chess TOURNAMENTS played in cities and states all
over---even in Japan  and the rest of the world!
Also, the makers of Pokemon incite worldly consumerism akin to
idolatry by  making a bunch of different products and (gasp) selling
them in stores. Just  like the Pokemon makers, the makers of chess
games make all kinds of chess idols---even  expensive chess sets
carved out of marble and some made of GOLD---and they have 
 chess books and chess key rings and chess T-shirts and chess clocks
and more! 
 They’re doing nothing but inciting worldly consumerism in kids by
making all  those chess products and (gasp) selling them in stores! We
adults are even susceptible  to this sinful travesty---my very own
brother-in-law actually has a chess shrine  (he calls it a game table)
where he displays an entire set of ornate marble  chess pieces!
I recently read in the newspaper about a church in Colorado Springs
that held  a Pokemon Burning Service. They built a bonfire in the
parking lot and had all  their kids toss their Pokemon toys into it.
Then, as an obvious sign of their  spiritual discernment, the church
leaders led the kids in chanting Burn! Burn! 
Burn! while the flames consumed those evil-incarnate products.
So, I think that’s what I’m going to do here. I’ll hold a Chess
Burning Service  at my church and make sure all the truly righteous
Christians and their kids  dump all those evil games in the fire. I’ll
even sneak into my brother-in-law’s  house and smash his marble chess
set too. (He might press charges now, but he’ll  thank me in heaven.)
After all, if Pokemon is so obviously evil, the game of chess must be
too. 
That’s what my Christian brothers and sisters keep telling me, and
they wouldn’t  lie Would they?
NOTE: 
 The views expressed in this editorial essay are not necessarily 
 those of CBNnow or the Christian Broadcasting Network.

 How Pokemon Showed Me That Chess is Evil
Non dobbiamo meravigliarci piu' di tanto quando ci capita di ascoltare (in
questo caso leggere) le masturbazioni mentali di qualche pazzo, specialmente
quando questi farnetica su temi religiosi. Da che mondo e' mondo tali tipi
sono sempre esistiti e sempre esisteranno. Ieri elucubravano sulla fine del
mondo, oggi uno di loro se la prende con gli scacchi, domani.... chissa?
Buon Natale anche a loro!
Franco

Buon Natale anche a loro!
A onor del vero questo ha composto il tutto con intenti satirici, ma
e' stato tanto bravo e realistico da dare i brividi...

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