Newsgroup: it.arti.fantasy
Titolo: Reasons why it would suck to live in Middle-Earth

Reasons why it would suck to live in Middle-Earth
1. You cannot throw a stone in Middle-Earth without hitting something
that has a thousand years of legendary history behind it. Furthermore,
once you have thrown the stone and hit the thing (whatever it is)
someone nearby will immediately do one of the following:
    Take the next fifteen minutes to tell you every detail of the 
     thousand years of legendary history behind whatever it is
     Sing you a song covering the same history
      Simply pause and look vaguely, heroically sorrowful, as 
      if remembering some past tragedy (which you will get to 
      hear all about from someone else in a little while)
2. Many things have different names in different languages, or in
different cultures. This is understandable. However, when referring to
such a thing, you cannot simply use one name; you must use them all,
as in: "Here we come to the Mistywind River, known to the Elves as the
Wyziwig, and to the Dwarves as the Rootintootin."
3. Singing is not only encouraged; on many occasions it is mandatory.
Furthermore, during moments of high emotions you may be expected to
compose an entire ballad - from scratch - on the spot.
4. Only one woman in any one place (city, town, or elven gathering) is
allowed to have a name. All other women must either be referred to by
their occupations (maidens) or by their race (Elves). Exceptions to
this rule may be made if a Woman with a Name travels to a place where
there is already a Woman with a Name. It is understood, however, that
such exceptions are only temporary, and one of the two women must move
away before the year is out.
5. The majority of the Women with Names are figures of unsurpassed
beauty and grace, whose every word is a song, whose every motion is a
dance. This would appear to be a good thing; however, these women are
normally Spoken For, and a man unfortunate enough to fall for one of
these women will be obsessed with her for the rest of his life,
condemned to long for her from a distance.
6. There are a wide variety of dangerous people and things running
about, but you are not allowed to talk about them. It is unclear what
will happen if you do refer to one of these horrors in passing, but
the rule is firm. This can make it very difficult to warn people
properly ("The evil that cannot be named is coming!" "Um ... which
evil? The big dark evil that cannot be named, or the slimy fanged evil
that cannot be named?").
7. The ground itself has remarkable acoustical qualities. No matter
how lightly you step, a person located at any distance need only put
an ear to the ground to hear you. One imagines that any
ground-dwelling creatures must be completely deaf from the noise.
8. In moments of stress you may expect to find yourself speaking words
you cannot understand, in a language you do not know. Fortunately,
this is no cause for embarassment, as it seems to happen to everyone.
-- 
Dreams bring the future! 
It's a shout from the soul / Let'go, passion!
Someday we'll bring peace back in our hands.
Let's go Gekiganger 3!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Ataru Moroboshi (Rocco Pier Luigi) - Brigate Takahashi 
Conan (Incredible Tide) - GURPS - Axis & Allies - AD&D 3a ed.
 
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/4748

 away before the year is out.
ROOOOOOOOOTFL :°°°°°°)
questa e' veramente grandiosa ^_______^
Gorgon il patryn che quasi quasi lo forwarda in it.fan.scrittori.tolkien
*eg*

 *eg*
Fai fai, noi siamo gente tollerante ^______-

 Reasons why it would suck to live in Middle-Earth
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e mi tocca anche ammettere che e' tutto vero...
ecco...non hai rispetto per i sentimenti di un povero falchetto 
tolkeniano...
;PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
-- 
Skree Nahan
il falco
******************************
...l'ultimo battito d'ala
poiche' uguale e' il dono 
nell'eternita' e negli istanti
******************************
IAFA#49 ICQ#36956954
http://members.xoom.it/LocandIAF/

 ;PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
gia'^__________________^
hehehe magari e' quello che a me piace........
fangorn
--
"the road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began
Now far ahead the road has gone
And I must follow, if I can."
IAFa #38