Newsgroup: it.fan.tv.friends
Titolo: Review e Script

Immagino che molti di voi abbiano sul proprio pc i riassunti e gli
script di tutte le puntate di tutte le stagioni.
a me interesserebbero detti files...
perlomeno potreste ripostare almeno quelli relativi alla puntata 10x12
che non ritrovo tra i vecchi messaggi salvati.
(poi mi mancano le prime 7-8 stagioni, pero' quello e' un altro
discorso :))
----
bye, rambis.

che non ritrovo tra i vecchi messaggi salvati.
vuala' :)
1012 - TOW Phoebe's Wedding
Titolo italiano:
Scritto da: Robert Carlock & Dana Klein
Trascrizione inglese: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
Joey: Uh, hey.
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step
dad's in prison.
Joey: (afraid) Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, uhm... listen he was supposed to get a weekend
furlough, so he'd come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called
and... uhm... well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard
just couldn't wait till Monday.
Joey: So he can't come?
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and...
well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Joey: Seriously?
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I
mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your
wisdom...
Joey: I am pretty wisdomous.
Phoebe: So... what do you say?
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to
me.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has
difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO
YOUR ROOM!
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A
waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's
driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok?
So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it
doesn't matter to me!
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the
microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right,
look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Monica: You don't know military time?
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught
that.
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Phoebe: Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred
and...
Monica: (screaming) Six o'clock!
Phoebe: Ok.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said
it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard
it is to make an ice sculpture?
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just
want a simple wedding.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make
this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the
harpist should wear white.
Phoebe: What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums.
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Phoebe: She did? Why?
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really
say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
[Scene: The wedding rehearsal dinner.]
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal
dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat
them.
Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Phoebe: Rehearse it!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs
him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Ross: That is why!
Mike: Yeah.
Phoebe: So Rach.
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies
and weddings don't mix.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs,
you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your
see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Joey: Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?
Mike's mother: Yes, we are.
Joey: Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh?
Mike's father: How's that?
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the
other hand it's hard to let go.
Mike's father: Who in God's name are you?
Joey: Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just
trying to be nice for the kids!
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea
what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked
us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Rachel: Uh... November?
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs...
Phoebe: What's up?
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the
wedding yet.
Chandler: Heh.
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an
embarrassing long pause)
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I
can leave!
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and
his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it
helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Ross: Oh, man!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and
Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they
continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Chandler: Thank you.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out,
that has pork in it.
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in
this wedding.
Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things.
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Chandler: Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's
our rehearsal for tomorrow.
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I
just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't
make it.
Chandler: What happened?
Ross: Who cares, AND?
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys...
(Ross stands up)
Ross: I'll do it!
Chandler: (standing up too) M-Me-me-me!
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics
the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this
decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose.
(he leaves)
Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to
Mike's next groomsman.
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Ross: Please, you're going down!
Chandler: You are going downer!
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they
hug)
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow,
right?
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Joey: Oh, hey, my pleasure. (he suddenly becomes very serious) So what
are your intentions with my Phoebe?
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I
understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't
that kind of unstable?
Mike: No more so than acting.
Joey: Strike two!
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move
in with you, dad?
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and
they run toward her.)
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in
your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so
much!
Chandler: Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh
okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you
today.
Rachel: (excited and clapping her hands in front of her face) Goody,
what is it!
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have
to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Rachel: What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike
appears)
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike!
(to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna
keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches.
Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the
bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits
and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight.
So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike
and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend
Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I...
(Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her
speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up
with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because...
(Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important...
she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up
with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just
brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite,
you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to
mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and
look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok,
uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping
cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to
know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming
CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY
WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was
twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes
CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO
THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her
glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him
and he puts down his glass.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey's having breakfast; Phoebe enters the
room carrying her wedding dress.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Happy wedding day!
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central,
all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom
and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room
for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going
to be corsages!
(Monica enters the room)
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress
and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point
is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if
you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then
here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you
the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably
return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and
calls to return)
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won
awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
(Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Monica: Hi.
Ross: Where's Rach?
Monica: She's in her room, why?
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm
not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like
some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the
room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Rachel: What d'you want?
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it
already is!
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle
with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler
he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils!
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is
listening amused.]
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with
the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Monica: I know.
(Mike enters the room).
Mike: Hey.
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word
"lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Mike: (thinks a moment) Orchids?
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
(Joey comes out from his room)
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: Joseph.
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He
starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried
to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me...
(shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my
recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa
Personal."
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important
to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important
thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear!
Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is
nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Joey: (almost crying) That was ME!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel
walks in.]
Rachel: Hi
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you
pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose
me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the
couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits
opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of
everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You
know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat
exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean,
this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the
only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings
are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: All right fine, I pick you.
Chandler: (Getting up and raising his fist in victory) Y-Y-YEEESSS!
Make "groom" for Chandler.
Rachel: (not amused by his pun but forcing a smile anyway) Oh my...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica
is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is
stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches
calls) Hello?
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk.
Mike: Yes. Yeah and thanks for all the wedding night advice. (walks
away) That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see
everybody tonight?
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica: Bye.
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in
the doorway)
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in
the hall?
Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here?
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to
the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she
can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why
is this happening to me?
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your
tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler
walks in.]
Chandler: How's it going?
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm
alert for the wedding.
Chandler: (smiling to himself too) That's what I was doing too.
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun
tonight.
Chandler: You too.
Ross: Oh, I will.
Chandler: Me too.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards
the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Chandler: I'm not supposed to tell you.
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
(Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in
looking very unhappy)
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both
stare at Rachel)
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me
together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Chandler: Rach, Rach, knock knock.
Rachel: Who's there?
Chandler: I'll tell you at the wedding.
Rachel: Uh.
(Mike walks in.)
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you
guys to pick.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I
thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog.
Chappy.
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
(all eyes turn to Rachel)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have
to go with the dog.
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at
the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but
the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of
her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes
from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take
care of everything.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what?
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow
storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels.
(Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way
in from New Jersey!
Joey: I don't think they are.
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the
wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather
girl.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be
able to get married today.
Phoebe: I know.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted
to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Phoebe: What?
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't
ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding
you've always wanted!
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do
it?
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
[Scene: Outside. They are a bunch of people arranging chairs,
shoveling snow and making other preparations.]
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE
CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and
the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay,
who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground)
ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Mike's mom: Michael!
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi!
(kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't
something you approve of...
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look
at them forever.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her
drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle
all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding?
Mike: I guess.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just
take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY
THROAT IS EXPOSED.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then.
Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay
we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He
can't make it.
Mike: Oh, no!
Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying
to ride the subway? Huhuh...
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone
else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Chandler: (quickly) I'll do it.
Ross: I'll...
Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves
Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah...
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me.
(they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he
gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler
and Monica enter.)
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you
away.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Hi new dad. (Chandler waves)
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you.
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait,
wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on
my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set
in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at
2300 hours.
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an
instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley.
A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and
Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Ross: It's the dog.
(we cut to Monica)
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where
is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow.
Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central
Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
Chandler: Ready?
Phoebe: (nervously) Okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh no. Wait.
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which
is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at
one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip
and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly
hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her
shoulders.)
Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold?
Phoebe: I don't care... I'll be my something blue.
Chandler: You look beautiful.
Phoebe: Thank you.
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here,
There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their
seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows
with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When
Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her
bridesmaids.)
Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing?
Phoebe: Na-ah.
(the music ends)
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness
this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so
I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect
for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish
them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
(one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey)
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or
a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something
was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have
everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the
ring on Mikes finger)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous.
You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I
can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with
you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have
nice eyes.
Mike: I love you too.
Ross: Uh Joey...
Joey: Yeah?
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
Phoebe: I do.
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Mike: I do.
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a
coat, I'm freaking freezing.
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays
"The Wedding Song")
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler and Joey are
walking up the stairs.]
Chandler: That really was an incredible wedding.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna
come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the
most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was
talking to.
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking
Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign
on for this.
THE END
-- 
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