Newsgroup: it.fan.tv.friends
Titolo: [emmy flood] [semi-ot] highlights

You know, we're supposed to believe that watching the Emmys on TV is
the next best thing to being there, but damn — last night's live
broadcast of the 54th annual award ceremony sure didn't make it easy. 
During his opening monologue, host Conan O'Brien joked that, in hopes
of sending ratings through the roof, NBC had asked him to become
smitten with someone in the audience right then and there. He balked,
of course. Then, as the opening strains of "Total Eclipse of the
Heart" began to play, he caught sight of Jennifer Aniston blowing him
a kiss — and, a moment later, a surprisingly game Brad Pitt glowering.
So, on O'Brien quickly moved to alluring Garry Shandling and a
cut-away clip of the faux beaux sharing a romantic horseback ride on
the beach. (Later, Shandling cracked that the bit was so gay, Sean
Hayes would have refused to do it.) After that, the evening only got
wilder and crazier. If you were expecting the same old, same old from
the black-tie back-slap and made the mistake of tuning out, read on
for TV Guide Online's rundown of all the highlights. It's the second
best thing to being there. No, really!
The f---ing excellent Osbournes skit. Before the show even began, the
First Family of reality TV turned up in a pretaped goof that found
O'Brien waking up so bleeping late at Casa Osbourne that, in order to
make it to the Shrine Auditorium on time, he had to borrow metal-god
duds from Ozzy and, scarier still, let Kelly apply his make-up. (It
could have been worse: He could have been forced to accept a loaner
outfit from Kelly. When the world's creepiest Cabbage Patch Kid
eventually took to the dais with her clan, she resembled nothing so
much as the long-lost love child of Dolly Parton and Stephen King.)
The widespread sexual tension. We know it was hot in L.A. (we caught
Kelsey Grammermopping his brow during NBC's pre-kickoff coverage), but
this was ridiculous. Sex and the City director Michael Patrick King
thanked boss Darren Star for asking him "to be his Sex partner," then
added, "That's a euphemism!" Moments later, in her first trip to the
podium, Stockard Channing called West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin "the
sexiest man in Hollywood," period. Finally, once he'd claimed his
trophy from his onetime Law & Order colleague Jill Hennessy, Michael
Moriarty sighed, "I haven't seen that gorgeous lady for years." Now
there's somebody who wouldn't mind crossing Jordan.
The clever script. Who needs Bruce Vilanch? Emmy did just fine without
him. In one inspired gag, O'Brien used an overhead camera to reveal
the intricacies of the kudofest's seating arrangements, pointing out
not only the area reserved for "parasites and sycophants," but also
the small block of chairs set aside for "black people who watch
Frasier." (Our favorite throwaway line: Introducing Michael Chiklis,
O'Brien said, "Coincidentally, I was chickless throughout most of my
twenties." Later, upon being handed his statuette by three Sex and the
City femmes fatales, The Shield cop himself cracked, "So much for
being chickless!") In another bit that packed unexpected bite, a
sparring match between pseudo-antagonistic co-presenters Robert Wuhl
and Frankie Muniz culminated in the Arliss funnyman offering the
17-year-old wiseacre four ominous words of warning: "E! True Hollywood
Story."
The cleverer ad libs. A number of actors proved (again, in some cases)
that they are even better at delivering their own zingers than those
of high-paid writers. Following a victory sprint worthy of Roberto
Benigni, Everybody Loves Raymond's Brad Garrett cracked, "I just hope
this award breaks down the door for Jewish people who are trying to
break into show business." Subsequently accepting her prize, Raymond
castmate Doris Roberts chuckled, "This is what happens when you're
young and sexy." And finally, after Ray Romano delivered a
good-natured spiel about his mother's disappointment over his
(soon-to-end) status as an also-ran, Garry Shandling offered his
empathy, saying that he, too, had done time in the loser's circle.
Only when he went home to Mom, she told him, "And your dinner goes to
Kelsey Grammer, too."
The golden girls. Heather Locklear turned heads by spilling forth from
a low-cut cocktail dress (hey, whad'ya expect from the megababe
formerly known as Amanda Woodward?), but she seemed about as appealing
to co-presenter Simon Baker as algae in the Melrose Place pool — the
Guardian hunk couldn't possibly have stood any further away from her
and remained on camera. For real glamour, we looked to a couple of
women of a certain age — Cloris Leachman and Vanessa Redgrave — both
wrinkled, refined and utterly radiant. (For heaven's sake, Redgrave
got so many close-ups during the three-plus-hour love-in that we can
only assume that someone in the control booth heartily agreed with
us.)
Sincerity? What? In Tinseltown?! And they said it wasn't for real. As
Oprah became the first recipient of the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award,
significant other Steadman pulled a full-on Chad Lowe — tears rolling
down his cheeks, lower lip trembling... the works. Equally believable
was the thousand-watt smile flashed by disgruntled West Wing actor Rob
Lowe as triumphant co-star John Spencer crowed, "Look at my compadres
— they are so happy for me!" (Why did we buy Lowe's enthusiasm? If
he'd been a crafty enough performer to fool us, he would've gotten a
nomination himself. Ouch.) Toward the end of the affair, dark-horse
contender Michael Chiklis blew his tough-guy image, choking up as he
clutched his Emmy and blubbered, "We all have a place inside us that
allows us to dream of a moment like this." (Had he not come off so
darn earnest, we would've been listening for the bandleader to cue up
that schmaltzy American Idol single.) Yet it was Ray Romano who
distinguished himself as the most forthright fellow in the house by
offering heartfelt thanks to his agents and managers — or, as he
called them, "all those people who take my money."
-- 
j./A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1
Still alive (very alive) on Monday at 20:03:27 - 
http://www.iftf.it

later, a surprisingly game Brad Pitt glowering.
ma che simpatico siparietto :)
-- 
'it should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door.
 I'll give you two.'