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my wife's aunt, let's call her brandy, is a hopeless alcoholic - i've never seen her sober. she's never married, in her 60s, and lives in a mid-sized town about an hour away from dc. about 12 years ago she was charged with drinking and driving without a license. as a result, she's spent 5 years in prison. actually, she has had many such charges - she often spends her nights in jail for drunk in public charges, and all the police know her by name.we're not sure how she affords cigarettes and alcohol, but we think she's using her snap benefits. brandy currently lives in the basement of her sister, my mother-in-law. neither of them are satisfied with the arrangement. brandy smokes in the house and falls asleep, brings random homeless people over who steal things, and often rants about how much wants to go back to dc and find work as a drywaller. we're all sceptical since brandy doesn't do well with authority, and has trouble finding and keeping work. my mother-in-law has kicked her out before, but brandy has ended up with black eyes or most recently, a broken arm. now my mother-in-law feels helpless - she worries about brandy's safety and ability to take care of herself. my wife and i are having a second child, and my mother-in-law has agreed to move in with us to help with the kids. however, we are unsure of what to do about brandy. she refuses to go into a treatment program. my wife and i have talked about just giving brandy what she thinks she wants and dropping her off at a shelter in the dc area. we don't know what we can do to help her, all we know is that we can't let her live with us, and things can't stay as they are. any advice is appreciated. thanks in advance. | what to do about my alcoholic aunt? | 734lkd | unfortunately she has to realize for herself she needs help. the reality is this could kill her. but it also isn't your job to make her better. i don't mean for that to sound harsh. you can tell her you care, she needs help, and that you're there for her i'd and when she meets determined criteria: (is sober for xx days, is in a treatment program, etc.) you will support her if you can. addiction is an awful awful thing and hurts everyone involved. i hope that she gets better soon. | advice | 734lkd |
i’m watching my friends’ dogs, rabbit and fish while they are away on a camping trip. last night my partner read the direction on the fish food container instead of the directions our friend wrote down and overfed them by mistake. i caught it a few minutes later and we scooped out all the extra food right away but this morning they are acting really lethargic and ignored the regular amount of food i put in when i got up. (also scooped that out when they didn’t eat.) is there anything i can do? i’m freaking out. 😞 (side note: my partner is also close friends with the people i’m pet sitting for and was told he could assist. i didn’t just invite him over sneaky like.) | petsitting emergency! please help | ccprlh | one gluttonous meal is probably okay. it's probably like that one holiday dinner you look forward to, eat too much, and feel fat and happy and sluggish for the next day. | advice | ccprlh |
i really just need to know if i'm blowing this out of proportion and being super clingy. i reconnected with an old crush from highschool about four months back, and we've been a couple for three. i'm in school and he works full-time. we have really conflicting hours so we can see each other twice a week at most. as of this past month we can only see each other once a week. i've never blown this kid off, every time we're supposed to see each other i make sure my schedule's free. he's blown me off quite a few times, which means we wont see each other until the next week. now, relating to the title, sometimes he'll slip that he went to his friends house during the week, or after work on the weekend when he's always to tired to do anything with me. i get he wants time with just his friends, i want that too. however, last night, i went over to his friends house for our usual one week hangout. i was there for maybe an hour before one of his friends wanted to take him to a bar (which whenever i invite him to one, he says he doesn't like them and they're too expensive.) he asked if i could get picked up early around eight. i got there at seven, if i knew i was going to have to leave in an hour i wouldn't have driven two cities over. that was all i saw him this week. i asked him if he's into me, if he actually wants this. i'm a pretty laid back person, if you thought you were into and you're not just tell me so we can try to part on good terms. he insisted he was, but i still feel shitty. he's in some sort of stage where him and his friends are experimenting with drugs. he does coke with his friends every week, sometimes twice a week. i was okay with it at first, i'd rather him get his curiosity out of the way when he's young, but now i'm concerned if it's going to become a problem. it's probably another reason he'd rather be around his friends more, since i don't usually partake. does this sound like a problem, or is this nothing? it's hard to have a conversation about any of this, because we're always with his friends. i don't want to ruin any good vibes, but i'm getting really insecure of myself over this. am i being a psycho girlfriend or is what i'm feeling at all justified? | [21/f] my boyfriend [20/m] chooses his friends over me, possibly drugs too? | 69yihl | leave him if he won't get his act together | relationship_advice | 69yihl |
i feel like i have something wrong with me. i posted another thing on r/medical but forgot my log in info for that account, as it was a throwaway - so while i won't elaborate on that entirely, i didn't get anyone to respond. my situation has become worse. it started in august. my head exploded. like i heard an explosion followed by loud static in my head. it's happened several times since then. i started having visual hallucinations shortly after. i guess that's what it was/is. i'll be driving or sitting, or doing any other number of things, and my room or the road will "jump", like in a film when it shows a tape ripping and the picture moving up the screen. that's what it looks like for me. well..now it's progressed further than that. almost every night i get sad. or really happy. i don't know. i just know that i end up crying for several hours, wondering why i can't be a crow. yes...a crow. i get so sad that i'm not flying, and never will be and i get overwhelmed and sad. i then feel like if i kill myself i'll turn into a crow. now..i'm not going to do that. i know it won't happen, and i've got a lot of great things going on in my life now, so i don't want to hurt myself, but those are my thoughts. i catch myself and think "slow down. what are you thinking?" and i stop myself. i don't know what is going on. i also hear bells and chimes. so far, no voices, nothing like that, just strange thoughts and noises. could this be an onset of schizophrenia or another mental illness? i'd like to get help, but i really can't afford to see a therapist in my area, and i've already told 2 medical doctors this and they simply didn't believe me and administered a drug test. i'm clean. i don't even drink alcohol. so, any thoughts? i appreciate them all. | could i be schizophrenic? | 131zba | hi, licensed mental health counselor. you could go to an emergency room and tell them about the intrusive suicidal thoughts you've been having. i will warn you, if you do this, 80% chance you will be admitted to a psych hospital. not a bad thing, you'll get a psychiatrist and a social worker, group therapy, staff support, etc. probably keep you there under a week. even if they don't send you to stay at a hospital, they'll help you get set up with some outpatient treatment, possibly either a structured day program, which is basically like being in a hospital except you go home at night, or maybe just giving you numbers for psychiatrists. i know this isn't telling you if you have schizophrenia or not, but never trust any diagnosis that comes from the internet. | mentalhealth | 131zba |
i'm not sure if this constitutes a problem i should see my gp about. i haven't done anything about it for such a long time probably because it's a bit embarrassing and also i just don't have the time normally. age: 22 sex: f country: australia height: 162 cm (5'4") weight: 86.5 kg (191 lb) race: mixed (caucasian polynesian) complaint: intermittent abdominal pain and tenderness, gas, diarrhea/constipation, lots of mucus in stool, general feeling of unwellness/fatigue. seems to flare up randomly then go away. doesn't seem to be linked to diet as i've changed it multiple times and it doesn't seem to affect the symptoms. no visible blood in stool though it is weirdly orange tinted. history: no smoking, alcohol or recreational drugs. one sexual partner with physical and hormonal contraception. history of starving myself and binge eating, though not so much of the starving anymore. diet at the moment is paleo diet (trying to get down to a healthy weight) which i have had success with in the past. 10 kg of weight gain over the past 3 months. currently no exercise. so far as i know my blood work is fine, no anemia or malabsorption issues etc. duration of complaint: 8 years or so, worse in the last 2 years. location: pain/tenderness is in the umbilical region. hurts when palpated and feels a bit firmer than the rest of the abdomen. any existing relevant medical issues: i binge eat if i'm not on my medication. not sure if relevant, but appendicitis in feb 2016 - removed through laparoscopic surgery. doc said they couldn't visually see that the appendix is what was causing my symptoms but said there was blood present in the abdominal cavity. i was menstruating at the same time so it may have been backflow. current medications (if any, this includes recreational drugs): vyvanse 50mg once daily since july 2016, lexapro 10mg once daily since march 2014. | should i go to my doctor for this? | 52re71 | i'm surprised you've not mentioned it to your gp given your other medical problems. but yes you should tell your doc. could be many things. | askdocs | 52re71 |
i found out back in june that my testosterone levels are pretty high. i’m assuming that’s why i put on muscle so easily. does this happen to anyone else with high testosterone levels? | does anyone else put on muscle very easily and quickly? | 9krllv | my mom also has pcos and had very high testosterone when i was younger. she worked in an industrial kitchen, hauling around 50 lb bags of flour and such regularly. she got \*guns\* from that job. honest to god, gigantic biceps. she went from being very heavy to just being extra curvy over time there. she had this deceptive squishy mom body but could put her arm out to the side with her fist up- and you can see her chicken wings (arm skin) wobbling but then she'd flex. literally biceps the diameter of baseballs. we said if (totally joking) that my mom and dad got in a fight she would own him. and he's worked in construction his whole life, so have some muscle tone with that 6 month pregnant looking man belly. | pcos | 9krllv |
most evenings/nights i get very inspired. maybe to start something new, cleaning the house, making a schedule for the week, working out, change your bed, you know those things that are a bit harder to get motivated to do. sometimes i do some of it. but most nights i can’t do them so i have to resist it, but hey. that’s a great idea for later! and then the next morning when i wake up. it’s like my head is reset. every single bit of motivation i had before i went to sleep. it’s gone. like, it’s so hard to even get up in the morning when i feel like i’ve lost all that motivation. anyone that can relate? and if yes, do you have any useful tools or tips to make it easier to keep that motivation? | my motivation “restarts” when i sleep | i01x3w | i can relate but the other way around. i have motivation in the morning and if i don't jump on it, throughout the day it just slowly diminishes and by 2-3pm... nothing gets done. | adhd | i01x3w |
i don't even know if i'm posting this in the right place but right now i don't really care. title sums things up, i (m, 27) hate so many things about myself. i'm fat, lazy, socially inept, and have zero self esteem. i've never had any sort of romantic or sexual relationship and i still live with my parents. i know what needs to change in my life, lose weight, think positive, move out etc. i lie awake at night thinking of everything that i need to change and how i could go about doing it. i've formulated plans, written lists, set goals, even tried to enlist some of my small circle of friends to help. in the end nothing really starts let alone sticks. i know everything is in my control yet i can never seem to motivate myself to start. even writing all this down is making me realise how pathetic it sounds and just filling my with anger at myself. if anyone can offer any advice or has been in a similar situation before i would love to hear your stories. i feel so defeated by life and by my own lack of willpower, i just need a way forward. | i hate so much about myself, i know things need to change but i have no motivation to start. | hivxuw | consider going vegan! living a more compassionate life by avoiding meat and dairy is a huge mood and energy booster. it’s also very compatible with getting healthier. i find animals to be the greatest teachers. | socialskills | hivxuw |
anyone here have wls due to pcos? if so did you lose the weight quickly or slower than average. i'd love to gain some insight before having a vsg. thanks everyone! | pcos and weight loss surgery | 97ifld | my personal concern wouldn't be so much that you wouldn't lose weight - you're practically malnourished so that feels like a certainty, even if it may be slower. my concern would be gaining it back if the underlying hormonal imbalance that caused weight gain in the first place isn't actually addressed or managed. | pcos | 97ifld |
made my first appointment with a therapist. was hard, not really a "feelings sharer". anxiety the whole ride there as i'm sneaking out of work, thinking of all the things i want to say/am scared to say. confusing office, get there, can't find the office. call to say maybe i missed the office. therapist says i never heard back from you, didn't think you were showing, so i'm not there...... therapist calls me 10 minutes later and says sorry i missed your email confirming. smh. offered to meet another time. i was polite but said i don't think this will work. did i overreact by thinking if you can't pull it together enough to follow this procedure how tf are you gonna be attentive? | god spoke | epu17n | hum....yeah that’s not the best start to a therapeutic relationship. i hope you’re able to find another one and that it has a better start! | askatherapist | epu17n |
goodbye r/depression. in my lowest point i reach out on this subreddit, while staring at a bottle of pills....and i get down voted. i had thought that even one person cared enough to say "hey, it'll get better" i would stop my plans. instead you firmed them up, proved that the monster in my head is right. plans moving forward. nothing left to save. edit: still here. appointment with my therapist today. still have crushing doubt. haven't been able to eat in days. not sure what will happen in the future, but for now i'm still here. | goodbye | 45wz1r | there are sh*tty people everywhere. please don't let them win. please reach out for help and support. | depression | 45wz1r |
i was never the type to talk about love or whatever; especially with other people. i met shaun* summer of 2016. he and his friend went to tokyo for vacation. as with any other summer thing, ours seemed to be just what it was --- a fling. throughout the months however, we still communicated via whatsapp and would sometimes do voice and video calls. the chemistry was awesome and i was infatuated soon after. being the type of person that i am, i eventually expressed what i felt and he said he likes me but only as a friend and nothing romantic. it initially crushed my infatuated heart and soon got over the 'feeling'. i went out on dates with other men while he and i still communicated every so often. everything seemed to be okay. a part of me wanted to see him. i don't want him to think i am still that into him (because at this rate, i honestly still do not know if i were) so i looked to do something "official" in europe. i found one and soon found myself traveling to europe. i told him my plans. also told him my free days in berlin. i was thinking maybe he and i could hang out a night together in that new city. thankfully, he said yes. but i was still hesitant and i remember i'd only believe it when he arrives. and he did. we spent four wonderful days together exploring berlin and getting to know each other more as friends... and now, i'm at the crossroads. what do i actually want from this? sex is still awesome. chemistry was still on point, even more. i know he still isn't into me romantically but i am not thinking of that too. i just wanna express what i feel for him. my 'love' for him which is more than friends but less than the romantic love. i think it's that type of affection that even when i'm old, i'd still have --- for him. i am so confused. i just had to write this. is it even possible to just love someone unconditionally and without expectations? some are saying that having no expectations is impossible but that's what i feel. i really do not expect anything to come out of this. | loving unconditionally | 5zpt01 | you can have feelings without expectations if you are 100% clear on this. 99% won't work! feelings and expectations go hand in hand for most people. | relationship_advice | 5zpt01 |
let me know in the comments why you chose what you chose, i’m curious [view poll](WEBLINK) | how do you feel about covid masks? i personally love that i can cover up half my skin but i know it can cause problems for some other people like more acne | jjzwvx | i absolutely wear one. i love being able to cover half my face (for picking and for social anxiety) but hate how much more acne it causes | compulsiveskinpicking | jjzwvx |
hiya! i'm kim kupiainen. a game production student in kajaani university of applied sciences. we're making a game (project lighthouse) with the premise to give coping tools and mechanisms for people with depression through a game. here's our first vlog. if you're interested in finding out more. please join our discord and spread the word. i'll be checking out reddit for a hour or so now. so if you have any questions, i'm open to answer them. we're students, so we're not getting money through this. we're interested in learning more about serious gaming. video is in finnish. however i added english subtitles to help understand what's up in this video. [WEBLINK](WEBLINK) discord channel currently is entirely in finnish, but we'll add channels for the english speaking persons, so you can talk there and share experiences and be a part of this community. | building a game that's supposed to give depressed people coping tools | ezw4ix | this is awesome! i'm a therapist who runs therapeutic d&d groups for kids/teens as part of a side job. there are groups of therapists all over the u.s. who are starting to do this thing and it's really beginning to take off! i'm so happy to see that this is spreading! good luck! | mentalhealth | ezw4ix |
age: 18 height: 5 foot 10.5 inches sex: m weight: 70kg race: white past/current medical issues: underactive thyroid(just got told this on the phone today about 10 minutes ago), adhd so i donated blood a couple of weeks ago and 1.5 weeks following that i had a blood test. the test came back and apparently i have an underactive thyroid. i forgot to tell the doctors that i had donated blood during the test and was wondering if this could be a false positive because of this. i do have a fast metabolism and i take supplements every morning ( not that i need to) so i should get enough vitamins etc. if someone could also explain why it shouldn't make any difference or why it does that would be great. | can a blood donation affect blood tests? | ae67na | blood donation does not make a significant difference to thyroid function, especially days following the test. you replace lost blood much quicker than that. | askdocs | ae67na |
i've been aware that my girlfriend has suffered from depression in the past, but more recently she has disclosed that she had been hearing and seeing things. last week she told me about a recurring character called "the red man" who apparently looks like something out of hellraiser, and i was even more worried when tonight she told me that god had spoken to her directly, and that he (with a capitalised h) talked her out of taking an overdose. i don't really have any experience or much knowledge on this subject, and wondered if anybody has gone through similar things, or has recommendations with how to deal with this kind of behaviour? i explained to her that people often have religious experiences at their darkest moments, and that it was most likely her subconscious, but generally (despite being a hitchens loving atheist) i've been kind of humouring her, because i don't want to take it away from her if it's bringing her comfort and preventing a suicide attempt (although my firm assessment is that it is an idle threat, i'm not taking risks with her safety)....but at the same time i'm worried that reinforcing the delusion could perhaps lead to more dangerous consequences. she has often gone through fits of rage, and although she has never hurt anybody, she has graphically described things which they "deserve". i have talked her into seeing a counsellor but she's on a waiting list to be seen which could take weeks. i'd be extremely grateful if anybody has any advice or general suggestions for ways to handle this safely and get her the help she needs. i'm the uk btw. thanks for reading this. | concerned about my girlfriend's potentially dangerous delusions | 1w2ste | she sounds to be experiencing a psychotic episode. whether that be due to severe depression or something more severe such as schizoaffective disorder is speculative over the internet. however, psychosis is not something to take lightly, nor is it something that can be treated just with talk therapy. she needs to see a psychiatrist for this asap, as psychosis can escalate quickly. | mentalhealth | 1w2ste |
throaway for obvious reasons. i’ll try to keep this short. my boyfriend and i have been dating for a bit over a year and things have been going really well. good communications, similar interests/humor, amazing sex life, date nights and new activities to keep things interesting etcetc. then again, if all was great i wouldn’t be posting here. in february i was fairly stressed with work for a project and during this time he mentioned wanting to talk, i asked what it is, but he said we should do it after i am done with the project/am less stressed and while i was a bit wary about that because i rather sort out things when they come up first i eventually accepted that. once i was done with the project i asked him at different times but he still avoided the topic until one night. basically, he told me he is not sure if he sees a future with me which absolutely blindsided me. we spend the evening talking and crying and i just thought we would break up there and then but then he did a 180 insisting how he does not want to break up, loves me, and he never really managed to see a future with anyone. this may be also the point to mention that he deals with (more or less) untreated anxiety and has been taking some acne meds that are known to screw with your mind (not sure about the name but apparently that is a thing and potential side effects are depression). he also had a similar thing 1-2 months ago when he questioned everything about his job and started pondering if this is the ‘right’ job, if he really wants to work there etc. don’t get me wrong, i totally understand thinking about career choices and am pretty career focused myself but this was something different, especially cause it is obvious how much he cares and likes his job (we spend a lot of time talking about these things and ‘objectively’ nothing changed about his job causing these doubts and it is also back to normal at that front). anyhow, long story short, i was super upset about the talk but for him just talking about it helped him thinking it through and realizing that he really wants this (his words) and he has been nothing short of amazing since then and also talking about future things so it felt we were back on track. i was still hurt but was trying to work through it and believe that it was an anxiety thing and he is truly committed to me and wants to make things work. so things were good until about 2 weeks ago when he was quite badly struggling with anxiety again. this happened before and fairly often is the thing when he wakes up and just feels off and we talk about it and he usually then needs some alone time which i totally understand and respect so i leave. only thing is, since that talk i myself get fairly worked up over it in regards to him changing his mind again and he being anxious equals him not wanting to be with me which makes me feel profoundly insecure. so i guess bottom line here is that part of my trust is gone and this i feel also makes it harder for me to be compassionate about him struggling with anxiety and i want to fix this. so, reddit, any advice on how to deal with this? general advice of reestablishing trust and helping a partner with anxiety would also be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance! tl;dr: boyfriend got anxious about our future together but since then seem to have gotten over it, i am trying to move on but still struggling to fully trust him/our relationship | boyfriend (28/m) got very anxious about our future together, i (26/f) am still trying to recover from it all | 6827lx | after a year he should know he wants a future with you. this is a huge red flag. | relationship_advice | 6827lx |
i've been lurking around here for the better part of an hour(probably more than that..)reading up on medications(for me, vyvanse), appetite tips, advice, and forming a perspective of this community. liking what i've read for the most part i decided to make an account just for this sub as a way to connect with others like me. i was wondering what you all do as a profession or job?do you do something that allows you to express yourself creatively, or do you work purely for money and have other forms of creative outlet? does your medication, way of life, help or hinder your chosen job, profession?and lastly, do you enjoy what you've chosen? | what is your profession/job? | 2629k3 | i work as a therapist at a community mental health agency. in many ways my job helps me express my creativity, particularly since i basically have free reign with what i want to do with my clients during individual or group sessions. along those same lines, one of the things that i think helps me excel at my job is that there's rarely a dull moment. i've found that with my adhd i can tend to get bored easily, which can quickly lead to be doing a horrible job, getting in late, etc. having an active job when i'm up and around the office all the time taking to all different sorts of people helps tremendously. sadly, however, i'm not currently on meds, which i've realized i sorely need. i lost my insurance when i graduated graduate school. my current pcp said that she doesn't want to prescribe me anything without an official diagnosis, but i hope that that may have changed, as she's gotten my records from my psychiatrist at university. | adhd | 2629k3 |
i am generally extremely happy with my life. usually, i am thinking about something happy, and i suddenly remember that life is temporary. the worst part for me is when i realize (again) that i will stop existing forever one day. for example, thoughts like "i will never get to hug my sister again if one of us dies," hit me. the idea that people stop existing in their minds when they die is horribly disturbing to me. i have no idea what to do because i'm a very logical person. i know there's nothing i can do about dying, and i just want to be happy. but i can't stop this from happening. | sometimes it hits me really hard that i will die one day. when this happens, i can't think about anything else and am consumed with crippling dread. what should i do when this happens? | 77c8gr | you need to shift your attention away from your thoughts, because on the scale you’re considering, the dread is appropriate: everybody dies and all our human attachments and ambitions are lost. thinking about it won’t help. still, you are alive, and the quality and conduct of your life has value and meaning to you and everyone you come in contact with. that’s available now. fear death? live now. go hug your sister or at least call her. cherish the life you have. | needadvice | 77c8gr |
i took a week off. i hadn't been sleeping well and wanted to catch up, and actually eat and see what it was like. i've been medicine compliant for close to a year and wanted to take a break. it was awful. i wasn't productive at work, my sleep schedule completely went out the window, and all i managed to do was play mobile games and doodle on innumerable post it notes. i'm glad it was a slow week at work, but i still have so much to catch up on. i'm never going off my meds again. | i took a week off my meds. | 91i1zd | i am currently in the middle of week 3 with no meds! it's a long story, but i went off mostly because i'm tired of being made to feel like a criminal for taking meds that help me function. and i'm tired of constant med checks for a med that i've taken consistently with no issues for 6 years. and also i guess i like to make impulsive choices, like go off my meds (\*eye roll\*). never again. i can almost feel my brain searching for stimulation. | adhd | 91i1zd |
got any sources to prove this? ive been toking for almost 15 yrs. never daily, but these days im at my highest, a couple times a week. also battled depression for a long long time. whats the link. because i take days off i figure it is not such a big deal. but | wait a minute does weed cause depression? | 3y2ds2 | weed doesn't typically cause long term mental health issues. what happens is after smoking weed for so long you start to lose the boundaries of mental health and sobriety and sort of forget what's normal sober and what's normal high | leaves | 3y2ds2 |
so, i've been looking up various personality disorders, and i stumbled upon histrionic personality disorder. looking at the list of symptoms, i'm now genuinely concerned that i have this disorder. below are the symptoms that i have, to varying degrees. would anyone happen to have any information on this disorder? any advice that you would be willing to share? constantly seeking reassurance or approval • excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotion • excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval • tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are • self-centeredness, uncomfortable when not the center of attention • low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification • rapidly shifting emotional states that appear shallow to others • opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details • being easily influenced by other people • blaming failure or disappointment on others | i think i may have histrionic personality disorder. help!? | 28jqxt | diagnosis is a complicated process with many potential pitfalls. a licensed clinician (doctor/therapist) has to take a full patient history in order to make any diagnosis. personality disorders are even more difficult to diagnose. don't trust diagnoses given over the internet, and don't rush to self-diagnose. if you have concerns about your mental health, talk to a professional. you can start by speaking to your primary care doctor, who can refer you to a mental health provider, or you can call your insurance company to see what providers are available in your area. | mentalhealth | 28jqxt |
the past two days my [the inner corner of the eye (the skin surrounding the eye, not the the eye itself)](WEBLINK) is mildly inflamed, and is very sore/painful to the touch, and hurt a snap amount when blinking. it's very slightly red and a decent amount larger than the inner corner of my other eye. i'm pretty sure its just an infection, but i don't know if i should do anything outside of washing it twice daily and waiting. thanks. edit: was a stye | inner eye inflammation (99% sure not a stye) | 6kd7iq | why are you sure it's not a stye? discharge or what? styes sometimes swell up and don't ever come to a head | askdocs | 6kd7iq |
my psychiatrist is gonna be adding wellbutrin to my medications in exchange for my mood stabilizer. i was just wondering, would the side effects that are present in both zoloft and wellbutrin be double the intensity? for example, would increased sweating be twice as bad because they both cause it? | wellbutrin + zoloft | vtonr | not necessarily. different meds have different side effects. | depression | vtonr |
i'm a 16 year old male teenager who suffered from atypical autism in early childhood. with the help from my family, psychologist and high iq(i'm not bragging here), i guess i don't have it anymore. i am sometimes socially awkward though. i sometimes feel really happy, confident and energetic, but this doesn't last forever. on the next day, i may feel hopeless, guilty, sad and unmotivated but i also feel spoiled because i don't really have a reason to be sad, which makes me feel even more guilty. i made some research and found out my symptoms match with cyclothymia. i don't know if i really have a condition or i'm just trying to turn myself into a special snowflake. should i talk to my psychologist about my concerns or am i just being edgy? other things: 178 cm height 81 kg weight i smoke 5-10 cigarettes a day and sometimes drink (though usually not binge). i also spend money a lot, i really don't know how or why. | how can i find out if i have cyclothymia? | 75yco9 | nothing wrong to ask your psychologist, who knows you much better than we will. | askdocs | 75yco9 |
31 year old female in houston tx. i have anxiety and depression. lower back pain. my meds are olanzapine 5mg, paroxetine 60mg, trazadone 50mg, diazepam 10mg, vyvanse and marijuana prn. due to back pain i added meloxicam 15mg and tramadol 50mg which i have been on for 2 weeks. today i added baclofen 10mg. i read the medication attachment for baclofen and noticed it was not to be mixed with olanzapine and strangely weed. dr. google mentioned serotonin syndrome and of course i have every symptom. is it safe to assume that if i was in imminent danger it would have been red flagged by pharmacist? or dr. brown (back dr.) as he was aware of my current medications. my back really hurts! i injured it picking up legos. feels like a ball of muscle wrapped around every nerve in my body pressed up against my spine. i really want to take the muscle relaxer to see if it helps. but i also enjoy living so... | possible drug interactions? serotonin syndrome | ahgmd1 | actually olanzapine and diazepam are the single riskiest combination, i think, although at a low dose of olanzapine less so. olanzapine is in general an unusual choice for depression and anxiety; it has a lot of side effects. that's a significant enough number of meds that a pharmacist might have more expertise. the ones likely to cause serotonin syndrome in combination are the ones you've been on for at least a couple of weeks. serotonin syndrome is largely a spectrum. you didn't say what symptoms you have or for how long. could you? | askdocs | ahgmd1 |
i read mcts are easier to metabolize, and wondered what others might be. | which chemical substance in food are easy to metabolize in humans? | 524exs | why does it matter to you? | askdocs | 524exs |
this month i have been feeling groggy, anxious, depressed and just all around bad and couldn't figure it out. i went to the pharmacy to refill my prescriptions, turns out they gave me the wrong prescriptions this month. i was taking pain killers all month and not in low doses. the thing that really gets me is how little she seemed to care like it wasn't a big deal. i have seizures due to anxiety and my seizure threshold is really low and she gives me pain meds instead of my anxiety ones and says its not a big deal strait to my face. i'm beyond pissed off. i had an episode last night that i'm not sure if it was a seizure or not... thanks a lot. i'm seriously thinking of calling a lawyer. | i finally found out why my anxiety has been so bad this month... (xpost from /r/anxiety) | 1t7adp | she acted like it was no big deal to make you think it wasn't a big deal, and thus not call a lawyer. if she freaked out and started crying and apologizing... you'd know this was lawyer time. lawyer up. | offmychest | 1t7adp |
i could’ve come straight home from work and smoked bowl after bowl for hours on end but i’m choosing more for myself. instead of smoking weed tonight i did the following: - four loads of laundry - finally folded last months laundry - played with my dog - made chicken tacos 🌮 - exercised - listened to music - cleaned my room - texted my family - took a long shower - did a face mask - tried a new face oil - learned how to do gua sha facial massage 💆 - remember to put on my scar cream - planned my meals for tomorrow (roasted beets, grilled portobellos, buffalo cauliflower bites, and yogurt sauce) - got over my bad day at work without smoking the old me would’ve tried to convince myself i could’ve done all of this high but the reality is i would’ve sat there. here’s to choosing more for myself tonight for a happier tomorrow. goodnight friends | day 5: what i did instead | epxcgr | i wish i could be this productive | leaves | epxcgr |
my boyfriend and i started dating back in september almost immediately after we first met. it was great at first but now i am somewhat having second thoughts. he is very interested in having sex every time we see each other and even though i have brought it up he doesn't seem to really notice it. going along with this, he is also very immature which makes me very annoyed at times because he seems to not think carefully and can be very selfish and has even cried on multiple occasions because i was too busy to reply within an hour. (we are both full time students with 5+ classes and extracurriculars. i don't text during class either) i understand i am his first relationship so he is very naive and overly emotional, but it's very taxing to be his entire world all of the time. i feel like it would be difficult to break up, however, since he is so emotional and we also share a lot of mutual close friends. i do not want to break up but i want him to understand he needs more than just me in his life to make him happy. | not sure if i [m19] should break up with my bf [m18], please help | 5mnhwj | he's very needy. you have to establish limits you're comfortable with. if he can't abide by them, it's probably over. | relationship_advice | 5mnhwj |
i want to get therapy for a number of issues. if there are any therapists here i would like to ask how i should prioritize what kind of therapy i should seek? i know many therapists specialize, but i am hoping a therapist would be able to cover several bases. 1: i need to learn to hold a job. i can't. i would like a therapist to help me work successfully and to build my executive function so as to become a better employee. 2: i have to learn how to deal with my anger. anger management is paramount. 3: marriage counseling. i am in a marriage that is basically sexless and it's torture. and this is not because of my unemployment. even when i had a job she was not interested. every time i think she has turned around she ends up going right back to the way she used to be, not interested. there are also other issues that should be dealt with. so can one good therapist cover all of these? or should i seek a specialist. i would imagine in the worse case scenario i might have to split it into two, career coach and marriage counseling. i'm sure the anger issue could be covered under each of the above. hopefully one therapist can cover the career and marriage issue, i'm not sure. thanks for your help. | what kind of therapy should i get? | a95xuh | you shouldn't ever have the same therapist for marriage counseling as you have for your own personal issues. the same goes for your partner. for marriage counseling to be most effective, the person should be completely unbias towards either you or your partner. you can definitely find a therapist to help you work on the work-related and anger issues. every therapist works differently, even therapists that ascribe to the same modality. you may just have to shop around until you find one who seems like a good fit. i tell folks to give it 3-4 sessions with a therapist. by that time if you don't have a feeling that you're getting something out of therapy and will continue to see progress, immediately look to find another therapist. | askatherapist | a95xuh |
my partner and i are both 24 years old, and have been together for two and a half years. we have no children, and we live together. recently, i caught him having an affair with a coworker. he cut it off and was genuinely remorseful, and together we decided to get to the bottom of things and resolve any issues that may have led to the affair. we are getting him treatment for depression, and he has promised to open up to me about his issues. in being open, he admitted to not being attracted to me, and to having started the affair because he was much more attracted to his coworker. he called his affaire "the whole package," and (when i pressed him for things i could improve to change his lack of attraction to me), said she had better hair because it was thicker, and a better waist (even though, it looks to me as if she has no waist) because it was about the same size as her hips. mine is "too extreme." he asked me to change my hair cut and color (which i did, and was a little sad to bleach my natural hair), and to gain weight so that he could be more attracted to me, and we determined that his "ideal woman" has a body fat percentage of about 25-30. i am 5'5", 114lbs, and have a 36-24-36 figure. my current body fat percentage is 13. i've always had an athletic build, but i've worked hard to maintain an optimal size for my own health and preferences. i don't want to lose my partner; i love him and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together. i don't want him to never be attracted to me. but at the same time, i'm worried about sacrificing my health (and all that hard work) for him...what if it's not enough anyway? according to his preferences, i'd be borderline overweight. i don't want to risk losing him, or push him into another affair because he needs to feel attracted to the person he's having sex with, but i'm scared to gain that much fat. what if, as i have kids and age, i get even bigger and my health is totally wrecked? i had anorexia as a teenager (my mother restricted my caloric intake because she didn't want me getting "fat like [her]") and have only come to be happy about the way i look over the past couple years, largely thanks to my partner...but then i come to find that he's not been happy with the way i look? ugh. i've been the same size for the duration of our relationship, but he says he didn't feel this way before. i love this man, and other than this one indiscretion, he has always been good to me. he has never before given me reason to doubt his love, and i can tell he feels bad asking me to change. but i don't want to lose him or leave him unsatisfied. he is attracted to other girls my size/shape, too, which confuses the heck out of me. has anyone else ever been in this situation? what should i do? | my partner [m/24] needs me [f/24] to gain weight in order to be attracted to me, but i'm not sure i should. help! | 1avlur | omg please get out of this relationship and far away from this person. this is so incredibly unhealthy it was hard to read. | relationship_advice | 1avlur |
hey guys. tonight me and my boyfriend got into a pretty big argument, because i told him he smelt, yeah, you read that right. he's 28 years old and i'm 21. we've only been together for 1.3 years but we're already living together. i think this is partially due to the fact that i was in a long term, 4 year relationship before him and i was looking to cling on to someone. pushing that aside, i do love him now and we are happy (for the most part) before me, he had never had a serious girlfriend. i've been living with him now for about 2 months. a few times before this i noticed he had bad body odour when we would cuddle and such, and sometimes bad breath. i would politely mention it to him and he wouldn't be too offended, however tonight was a different story. for the past 3 days he has been wearing the same t shirt. he hasn't once put that t shirt in the washing machine for me to wash and he has been back and forth to work in it, as well as to his parents and friends houses. the only thing he hasn't done is sleep in it. i don't understand why he would do this. he showers twice a day usually, so why would he want to put dirty clothes back on over his clean body? tonight, he came home and he was in the t shirt again. i don't know why but a part of me had faith that he would take a fresh one and change at his parents place. so i said to him whilst we were watching tv "hey, i've noticed you've had the same t shirt on now for about 3 days. why haven't you worn a fresh one and put that one in the laundry?" i could tell instantly i had made him uncomfortable as he went super quiet and wouldn't look at me. so i persisted and i said "you know i always do the laundry every day, in the past you have complained of bad body odour and that's probably why - because you don't look after yourself properly." i was trying to be as polite as possible but i felt he was totally disrespecting me by refusing to make any eye contact. if anything he looked as though he was sulking. he finally responded to me and said "i'm not putting my clothes in the laundry every single day like you do, that's wasteful of water." i agreed with him, but i only agree with wearing jeans, trousers and hoodies/jackets twice or three times in a row - not t shirts and underwear. you know, items of clothing that are very close to your skin all day every day. he is also the type of guy that sweats alot and very easily. i got angry after this because i just felt like he was acting out like a child would. so i said to him "you really need to sort yourself out and look after yourself better. this isn't a joke to me, you know how important and respectful hygiene is" - instead of taking my point on board he has stormed off to bed. i have no idea what he was like in the past, but from how he behaves now sometimes there's no wonder that he never managed to find a girlfriend until i came along. he's incredibly nice looking and used to do modelling, so i think his failings in the romantic world have been to do with things such as hygiene and maturity issues. i went upstairs to see if he had calmed down about half an hour ago and he basically let me know that he wanted to be alone. i feel as though i've not done anything wrong here. i tried to be polite and he sulked like a teenager. he basically told me to go and sleep in the spare room, so that's where i am tonight haha. what do you guys suggest about this? i guess i'm kinda pissed off as it's all so ridiculous. would you guys be annoyed too? thank you. | i feel bad for telling my boyfriend that he smells | 5mnjl6 | in a rel. you have to speak up about what bothers you. if he has poor hygiene, his days with you are likely numbered. | relationship_advice | 5mnjl6 |
hi, everyone, i actually just joined reddit to find a community to help me with this issue. i have hit a wall lately and i need some help with what i think may be depression stemming from communication issues within in a relationship (i don't actually know what is wrong to be honest which is why i am trying to find help). the process of trying to find someone has been awful and i have never felt so lost and alone before. about three months ago i realized i needed to get serious about this problem and seek out the help of a therapist. my boyfriend of 5 years would like to take part in this process with me as we struggle with communication and it is the root of a lot of problems. he acknowledges that we would both benefit from this process together. we live in a very expensive state in the us and while i am lucky to have a good job, i don't have much of an expendable income left over to pay for a therapist out of pocket after my monthly rent and bills. my health insurance will cover 80% of the cost of therapy which is why i need to stay in-network. i have been using my insurance provider finder tool and psychology today to research therapists in my city that are within my network, but i cannot seem to find anyone who is accepting new clients. i have been searching in my free time (breaks and evenings) for the past three months and have been repeatedly told time and time again that, "sorry, i am not taking new clients at this time." i started this process so hopeful and i have now resorted to crying after each rejection. i feel like we are becoming more desperate for help but there is no one to help us that we can afford. we have looking at mft but have exhausted the resources in my network (all rejections unfortunately). we looked at out of network options, but really can't afford the per session rates being advertised. what else can we be doing? where else should we be looking? are we narrowing ourselves too much by looking at mft? we aren't religious, so faith based therapy is not a good fit for us. on a separate note, this has caused me to do some in-depth research into why i am having an issue finding a therapist in-network. i am really beginning to understand how going through our insurance is holding me back, i just can't afford this without it; it feels like a painful catch-22. | struggling to find a therapists in network and feeling just so lost and alone, advice appreciated! | buxy5b | you don't need to go to an mft for couple's counseling. licensed psychologists, licensed professional counselors, and licensed clinical social workers can all provide marital/couple's counseling. they're just as trained as lmft's and probably easier to find. your other option is to find larger agencies in your area that accept your insurance. many of them won't advertise on psychologytoday. one way is to type mental health therapy into google maps in your area and research which companies pop up and call them to see if they take your insurance. | askatherapist | buxy5b |
drinking exactly the same amount of wine that earlier gave me a splitting headache, i now wake up next morning in good shape. this has happened gradually over the last 5 years, i've hardly had any headaches at all lately. i don't really miss these headaches, but i'm curious: is there any known alteration in your brain that could cause this? i assume that headaches related to alcohol are caused by swelling of blood vessels that increase pressure on nerves. why should that stop happening? i'm male, in reasonably good shape, blood pressure a bit too high, 70 years old. happy new year! | i've lost my hangovers | 5lgmzj | firstly, how much wine are you drinking? | askdocs | 5lgmzj |
i want to get to know people. i have hobbies, but i tend to only talk about the hobby. is it strange if i ask people what's going on in their lives? what are their dreams, ambitions, wishes. what made them happy. what made them think... i just don't want to touch on any sensitive spots. i know i have a few events lately that hurt me a lot that i don't want to think about right now. | in/after a hobby/activity, is it weird to ask people how they are and find out what's going on in their lives? | 97910m | nope. not at all. that's how you turn acquaintances into friends. just try not to go too fast all at once or they'll feel like they're being interrogated. | socialskills | 97910m |
this girl who i like and am sleeping with doesnt like me the way i like her. she just wants to be fwb but i really like her. i cant just stop seeing her cause we're coworkers and good friends. when she doesn't text me back i get anxious and when she hangs out with other guys or i think too long about how she doesn't like me then i get panic attacks. what do i do? | my friend with benefits give me awful anxiety/panic attacks | 6uf7xy | if you're interested in being in a relationship and she's not, value yourself enough to move on. you're going to have a hard time finding someone else (and possibly better) while you have a fwb hanging around. if it turns out she wants more, great! but it sounds like you need to have the discussion. if she doesn't, i'd recommend cutting off all unnecessary contact (obviously you have to see her at work). it's important to have clear boundaries. best of luck! [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | mentalhealth | 6uf7xy |
long story short, i just got out of a 3 year relationship and was about to get married this september. found out in just april that my fiance was cheating with his ex for over a year. through that madness of that whole relationship ending i reunited with my first love. i started thinking that maybe this whole thing happened for a reason because even when i was in other relationships i always thought back to my first love and deeply missed him but i tried to bury those emotions. however, i found out that while we were not technically dating on 4/20 of this year, we were having sex and he was telling me he loved me...while at the same time sexting his other ex. how do i handle this? does he get off on a technicality? i want so badly to just say okay he was just being dumb but at the same time i feel like it may not be the best way to start a relationship.... any advice would really help. | [24/f] back with my first love after 8 years of no contact. did he cheat? | 6fnnnc | you guys last knew each other when you were 16. your engagement fell apart less than two months ago. how about you take a breath and grieve a little? | relationship_advice | 6fnnnc |
age 36, height 5'10, weight 185lbs., race white, duration 13 years, no other medical issues, non-smoker. i take turmeric and fish oil daily, which have a significant positive impact on the pain level, and when these aren't enough, i take 220mg naproxen as needed. i have unmistakable symptoms of, not rheumatoid, but degenerative arthritis in all of my synovial joints (feet, ankles, knees, hips, spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands, sternal region, and one of my si joints). the symptoms are strictly mechanical: pain with physical stress, stiffness, and crepitus. i do not have the systemic symptoms associated with ra. this came on 13 years ago and has been slowly worsening over time. although the pain in any one joint is no more than 2-3 on a 10 scale, having that pain everywhere is nothing short of miserable. the limitations it imposes have forced me to restrict my lifestyle and employment in ways that make me very unhappy. it pervades and controls everything i do. i am aware of it at all times, and my life revolves around managing it. i already know that under the current standard of care, there is nothing medicine can do to meaningfully treat my condition. what i need is to get it documented for fmla purposes. it has taken a turn for the worse this year, and while i have yet to miss a day of work because of it, there have been a few days when i’ve had serious trouble fighting through the pain. i also need a doctor’s approval to violate dress code (for some reason, my joints seem to hurt less when not covered by clothing, and i would benefit from being able to wear shorts at work). to date, since 2006, i have seen 19 doctors in specialties including primary care, podiatry, orthopedics, neurosurgery, pm&r, and rheumatology. still not so much as a diagnosis. instead of helping me, they have trivialized my complaints and dismissed me as a hypochondriac. there are two factors complicating my situation: first, i have the oa independently in many joints at a young age (36), giving the situation the superficial appearance of being the systemic rather than degenerative type of arthritis. as a result, my interactions with medical professionals always follow the same pattern: looking at the superficialities, the primary care doctor always wants to refer me to a rheumatologist, who then wants to order the same worthless blood panel that always comes back normal. when the rheumatologist finds nothing systemically wrong, he dismisses me, often suggesting some form of psychiatric treatment, which is deeply insulting. second, the degree of cartilage loss is still so mild that most joints still appear normal on standard radiological studies like x-ray and mri, which are not sensitive enough to detect oa until significant joint damage has occurred. in 2014, i asked the rheumatologist i saw to order a bone scan rather than more blood work. the radiologist report stated that i have “mild radiotracer uptake in the knees, hips, feet, ankles, shoulders, acromioclavicular joints, elbows, wrists, hands, and sternomanubrial joints, is likely degenerative.” the indifferent rheumatologist still dismissed me as being “in remarkable health.” this scan is now five years old and my condition has deteriorated significantly since. due to the recent worsening, after five years of avoiding doctors and l, i just made another attempt at getting my condition documented for fmla. like every one before him, the pcp referred me to a rheumatologist, and ordered mris of three of the more painful areas: my neck, l shoulder, and sternal region. the neck mri showed mild loss of disc height at two levels and mild degenerative changes in the facets at three levels. the shoulder mri showed mild degenerative changes in the ac joint only, but not shoulder. the sternum mri appeared normal, even though it isn’t. the rheumatologist wanted to order more blood work and i refused. he said that he was unsure whether the imaging i was enough to justify fmla intermittent leave, but he would try. he wrote a letter to my employer that he does not believe my condition is serious enough to justify any kind of special leave. i saw another pcp a few weeks later; he tried to me to a rheumatologist, and after i said i will never see another one again, he reviewed the scans himself and said he didn’t think fmla documentation is warranted. what is it going to take to get acknowledgment from the medical community that there is something serious going on? | 13 years of serious joint pain with no acknowledgment from the medical community. what is it going to take to get my condition documented? | cs4lwy | you don't want to listen to your doctors. you also don't want advice here, and you have insulted doctors in general and posters here specifically for trying. i think there's nothing further to be said. | askdocs | cs4lwy |
but i'm too embarrassed. embarrassed at the thought of people i know finding out somehow. embarrassed at the thought of going in and telling them what i'm there for. i've always liked to think that i don't care what people think, but apparently that isn't the case. and that's a bummer. | i'm a 40 year old guy and i really want to get my belly button pierced. | burxdb | you only get one life and a belly button piercing is a harmless way to express yourself and be a little rebellious! i say go for it! | offmychest | burxdb |
conversations with me tend to be very one-sided. whether responding to a question or someone else's statement, my response tends to be very brief. i think "yep," "ok," and "mm-hmm" are probably the most common things i say in conversation. i try to think of things to say but i can rarely come up with anything. my mind just seems to go blank. does anyone have any tips on how i can be more talkative? | how to give more than one-word answers? | 1a1soe | i wrote a [guide to conversation](WEBLINK) which focuses a lot on your responses. it might be helpful for you :) | socialskills | 1a1soe |
well things escalated, just 1 week after we ended a break. she told me to never contact her again. throwaway, but a i want to contact her, because ist worth it. now the question is how. she is hurt, and i dont know how to approach the situation. i could either drive to her place ( 300 miles away) or send her a letter, or a mail. i do feel i am better with words written in the usual context, but i also understand that this would be better personal. yet on the other hand this might feel like an intrusion into her privacy even more if i just show up at her house, or might lead to even more awkwardness. thankful for every different perspective on the subject. questions welcome. thank you | my ex [27/f] told me [23/m], after a breakup in a fight last week to never contact her again, what do i do? | 67axpw | give her space and call in a week | relationship_advice | 67axpw |
i'm a 35 yo male, currently in therapy with depression and social anixety, i have the most anxiety interacting with women due to being harased when i was 12, i think i'm wrongfully internalizing messages, i would never consider doing anything like harrasment or assualt, but when ever i hear or read about some guy doing that i feel sick to my stomach, like since i'm a guy, it's my fault. on an intelectual level, i know how wrong this line of thought is, but i feel what i feel. should i just avoid anything like that? i plan on bringing this up with my therapist tommorow. | is it possible to internalize messages that aren't meant for you? | es44ee | to me it sounds like real empathy and having a natural reaction to the memories it bring up. you’ve been in that situation of being harassed and know how painful and uncomfortable it is. when you see someone doing it to someone else it brings back the feelings you had when it was done to you. | askatherapist | es44ee |
every. single. day. crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch finish one bag of chips, open another. crunch crunch crunch crunch smack smack smack slurp smack smack i’m about to fucking lose it | coworker won’t stop eating | ao9k83 | i once had a coworker who would bring a whole bag of baby carrots to meetings and eat them all- crunching and munching for at least an hour straight. this happened many times. i've never met anyone with less self-awareness. | offmychest | ao9k83 |
my left ovary is polycystic, and i have a cyst on my right ovary. and my doctor prescribed me with pills for 3 months. i've just started my 2nd pack of diane 35. i'm on a strict diet, been eliminating dairy, exercising about 2-4 times a week. is it inevitable to gain weight while i'm on the pill? and is it normal to feel bloated? | has anyone had experiences gaining weight with the pill (diane 35) even with a healthy lifestyle? | 7vuio4 | yep. gained weight pretty much immediately after going on the pill, then struggled mightily just to maintain being overweight for the remainder of my years on it. also killed my sex drive and (some) made me an emotional wreck. so much happier and healthier without the pill. | pcos | 7vuio4 |
i just feel like i could be happier, but i can’t really elaborate on why. i’m not depressed, i like my job and my life. there are just many minor things that i wish i could deal with better that i have trouble putting my finger on. would it be wasting the therapists time to just go in there and be like “hey, i just feel a bit off and want to be a better version of me. what can i do?” | is it beneficial to go to a therapist when there is nothing wrong in particular? | d8kcpa | i personally love when clients are coming into therapy for this reason. first off, there is something "...wrong in particular". you don't feel like you're living up to your potential best/happiest life and would like to. the only time i believe it isn't beneficial to be in therapy is if you can't identify what it is you're hoping to get out of therapy or the client has met all of their goals and can't identify any new ones. it sounds like you have a goal for yourself. you want to use therapy to find a way to be happier in general and deal with the stresses in your life better. if i a client came to me and said that, i'd be thrilled to work with them. | askatherapist | d8kcpa |
for a while now, i have been feeling as if most of my friendships are falling apart because everyone else just focuses on sex,drugs, or drama. i have tried to relate to them to keep the connections we used to share, but it seems practically impossible as i have little to no interest in those things, and mostly get shut out. so, what do i do? | is there more to friendships? | cdxr4m | real organic friendships start out by people having common interests and hobbies. you don't have to be friends with someone to enjoy spending time with them engaging in a shared hobby. this is how friendships start. doing these things with acquaintances who are not quite at friendship level. you do however have to have a shared hobby or two and enjoy spending time with someone (at least most of the time) for them to be your real friend. sometimes when people grow and their interests diverge, friendships fade. nothing you can do about it but grieve the loss of the friendship and put your energy towards finding more like-minded people. | socialskills | cdxr4m |
my spouse (mid 30s) has told me that she is ready to begin therapy to work through issues that have continually popped up over the course of her life with her step mother & step brother (i'm not a therapist, but i think both meet the classic definition of being narcissists). they are currently out of contact (for about the last ~6 months) and my wife lives with anxiety of having to deal with them in the future. for as long as we have been married, i've always thought that it was a good idea for her to go to therapy to work through these issues. however, now that the time has come, i almost have a knot in my stomach because of the anxiety of her having to deal with this stuff and not knowing how it will all turn out. part of me feels that her never seeing them again is probably the best outcome...but i know she has to be the one that decides how/if the relationship goes forward.....but i also feel like it will be likely i have to deal with the fallout if she tries to re-engage. any thoughts, recommendations, comments? we have a very strong marriage, but man....in-laws are hard. (edit - for added context, her biological mother died with she was 2 and the step mom and her two children entered the picture when she was 4). | spouse in therapy for non-marriage issues | dvv9zu | >we have a very strong marriage, but man....in-laws are hard. yes they are. my, albeit biased recommendation, would be to support your spouse however best you can in this process--specifically i wonder if they would be open to you participating in therapy with them. | askatherapist | dvv9zu |
i went to my 7am meeting this morning to grab my 90 day coin because my sponsor was going to be there and i was hoping to talk to her after the meeting to tell her that i want to find a new sponsor. she’s been extremely hard to see in person (i’ve tried twice in the last two weeks) and i know we both regularly attend the thursday morning speaker meeting. i’m tired of holding onto this information now that i know what i want to do and i just wanted to tell her in person versus over the phone. i got there 25 minutes early but she came dashing in at 3 minutes of. oh well. then she whispered to me that she had to leave at 7:30. ughhhh. okay. whatever. so it came time to the coins, and i was the only one to get one. yay me!! however, as luck would have it, our speaker was a no-show and the chairperson said “lucky you! you will be our speaker today!” and he then moved on to the other portions of the meetings after the coin portion. my sponsor then whispered to me quite forcefully across another person sitting between us “you will pass” “you will pass. you are not ready. pass.” i didn’t think much but all i remember hearing in the rooms was you never turn down an aa opportunity when asked. and then i was annoyed because, if any of you remember my sponsor, this is the one who won’t let me do my steps, who took 3 years to do her own steps, and is just very full of telling me what she wants my program to be and not what i need it to be and how sick i feel. (see my previous post under my profile if interested) so then when the guy asked me to speak, i said, “i’m sorry, i’m not ready yet, so i’m going to pass today.” he kind of hesitated and almost sighed. he then asked for someone else to share. and after about 30 seconds someone else volunteered. but at the end of the meeting that chairperson came up to me and told me ‘you should call your sponsor bc no one turns down an aa opportunity when asked” and walked away before i could say anything in response. i’ve been feeling upset and resentful all day. my sponsor can’t answer my calls because she’s at a conference. not that i want to really talk to her anyway. i went to another meeting and shared there but it didn’t really help. and i just feel like the stupid new kid. and i just want to drink. i know it’s dumb. but i just feel like i don’t fit in with the club. like i did the wrong thing. and it was my sponsor who told me not to. ugh. i just feel stupid. thanks for listening. i will not drink but it’s just all these awful feelings. | 92 days today but i feel like i got called out at a meeting today... | bs9k9k | your sobriety comes first. if i were in that situation, the advice i know people in the program would tell me is to just get a new sponsor immediately if i felt that way. one that has worked the steps and understands that the steps are the program. i have been told “i needed to do the steps to get better, not get better before doing the steps.” worrying about someone else’s (sponsors) feelings is secondary at this point. especially given the fact that you feel like drinking. this is your life. find another sponsor and send your old one a text that you are moving on if thats the only way you can get in touch with her. your life is too important. wishing you the best! | alcoholicsanonymous | bs9k9k |
so i just got a nice new job about 4 weeks ago. i was excited about it and it seemed to be a great jumping off point for my career. my boss was well respected outside our corporation, she had a lot of successful meetings and awards, and was seemingly on a path to success where she was going to drag me along. well, as the time has passed i realize that she is not at all who people think she is. i took an amateur psychopathy test on her behalf and it spells her out to a t. what pushed me was an event today when she flew off the handle and screamed at a long term co-worker over an incredibly innocuous comment. i have seen small events like this happen, but not to this level. it was full on bullying and disgusting behavior. i will add that i have been having some strong second thoughts about taking the job after a few incidents that have involved me, and older employees who have worked for her are beaten down and choose not to fight back, which i can understand. right now i am feeling like i made a big mistake, taking a job without the full knowledge of what i was getting into. i will spend the weekend applying to jobs to find an escape route. i know that getting her fired will be very difficult because of her seniority. | lost respect for my boss, relatively new employee | 2hl7p7 | start hunting for a new job now before you have a big gap on your resume. no need to even put this job on there you've been there so little time. get out now. | advice | 2hl7p7 |
my parents think there is something wrong with me, and they want to send me to a counselor. i read a bit on different mental illnesses and sociopath, psychopath i see similarities. i read about how they have no remorse, selfish, can't feel anything but anger. i always have anger breakouts when little little things don't go my way. besides that i can't keep a real bond with pretty much anyone. i can't stand my father who i try to ignore as much as i can. i am 17 a junior in highschool. i do have a few friends, but most of them i just can't stand and they annoy the fuck out of me. i hate seeing people happy, and i hate using words that "humans" use. i can't really explain it, but seeing people say things taste good or feel good makes me angry. i have had a few girlfriends, but can't keep them very long. i don't ever have a real relationship with them besides sexual stuff. then i become bored of them and hate them. i can however feel empathy for animals, but only animals. i can watch people die and feel nothing, but the moment an animal gets hurt i feel awful. the only time i have felt guilt was when i bought a friend lunch. i don't know why i felt so awful about that 5$ even though i have plenty of money, but it gave me this weird feeling of i shouldn't have done that for weeks. i can never tell the truth lying about the littlest things and the biggest things. i have lived in lies to my friends/family for years keeping the smallest details the same throughout the year. i don't know what's wrong, but would like to know before i go to counseling/family counseling. thanks. | going to a counselor, what do i need to know about me? | 4zaa70 | hey, these are all reasonable concerns, unfortunately it is against the law to diagnose someone over the internet, if you were looking for answers before hand. therapy should be centered around you and what you want to do. i would tell everything that you wrote down here to your therapist. address your concerns and be open about everything. also hear what the therapist has to say, if they give you anything to work on or tips to help, it would be in your best interest to listen to them, regardless if you think it may be silly or not. remember therapy is about you and you will only grow and learn with what time and effort you put in. best of luck! | mentalhealth | 4zaa70 |
so we have been talking around 2 months. today i told her that id lied about my job because i was embarrassed about what she would think and at the start i didn't think anything would happen between us. i've apologized, told her everything and that i really want to work to rebuild the trust in the relationship. she told me she doesnt know how ill show her she can trust me and she needs space.. does anyone have any advice? i have made a massive mistake here. i haven't felt this way about someone in a while :( | (22/m) admitted i lied to her | 5vbej2 | give her space and check in in a week | relationship_advice | 5vbej2 |
i was just in a relationship with a girl for 1yr, the breakup was weird, she told me she was feeling obligated to be alright for me (both of us had a very rough year emotionally) and that she couldnt focus on her artistic side because i would take up all of her thoughts, i tried to wait it out for a few weeks until she decided to actually end it (the week after we made it to 1yr). i ended up having a pretty big depression and she just seemed to be fine with all of it, even mocking the fact we broke up sometimes, i ended up finding a girl to talk to which helped me alot with all of this, althought i still really loved my ex. a few weeks back my ex invited me to her house and well yeah, she told me we could do this atleast once a week and that she still felt something for me. a month later we are kinda dating, i say kinda because she doesnt want to make it public right now, saying she doesnt want other ppl to judge our relationship or act different around us just because we were dating (which happened countless times). should i wait for her? | idk what to do about this | 66jyml | patience is a personal decision. if you're madly in love , i'd give it a month and see of she;s on the same page. | relationship_advice | 66jyml |
full context: WEBLINK i know i made a post like this awhile ago but i have a doctors appointment in 2 days and this is pretty much the only chance i'm going to get. i'm 16 y/o and i have intrusive sexual thoughts about children which i don't think i'm aroused by, which could be ocd, but i am very aroused by cartoon/anime child porn (lolicon.) i cut myself everyday because of it and i often think of killing myself. what kind of therapist do i need? i don't want to ask my parents due to the nature of the issue so i want to ask my doctor in private. what do i bring up to him? what do i ask for? how much should i bring up with him? what resources does he have to help me find a therapist? what kind of therapist should i get/ask for? if i do get say, some kind of therapist dealing with sexual stuff, will my parents be able to find out it's of a sort of pedophilic nature? if i do somehow get a therapist and they're not qualified or capable of dealing with my issues can they or will they be able to refer me to someone better suited for me? i just don't know if my doctor can help me get or is suited to help me find a therapist. i don't know if i should get an ocd therapist or some kind of sexual therapist, but even if it somehow by the grace of god is ocd and not pedophilia, i'm still aroused by lolicon and it pains me so much i just want to castrate myself because of it. so i still want a therapist that can help me deal with that part of it. | how do i ask my doctor for a therapist? | h0c3tn | if you don't feel safe saying what your thoughts are, you can say "intrusive thoughts. " that gets the point across without being specific. focus on your distress and how it impacts you. | askatherapist | h0c3tn |
hi all, im making this post for my mom. we don't have health insurance so going to the doctor is something we really can't do, but we wanted to hear some opinions. my mom is in her 50's, about 125 pounds and 5"5'. she's very active, she works in a large store where she unloads the truck and is on her feet all day/lifting heavy things. she also barely eats, she's been doing this for years. after working hard she'll come home and maybe eat an egg and she'll be okay after not having anything at work. she's been like that since i can remember. the only medical thing that i know is some family members have had cancer. alzheimer's does not run in the family. the problem is her memory/brain. it's gotten really bad in the past few months. she'll forget stories i told her and important info i tell her just days or hours after. the most recent thing is today, she went to the store by herself with a list and managed to forget some things and buy the wrong things. she's very upset about it. she took a week to get something out of her car because she just kept forgetting, even with reminders. she's never forgotten where she is or who she is out or anything, which is why i don't think it's alzheimer's. i can provide anymore info if needed, i'd just like some opinions. thanks | something wrong with mom's memory/brain | 5kyd1y | she needs assessed. could be loads of things - other medical illness, other psychiatric illness, alcohol/drug misuse - but a checkup is in order. [memory loss](WEBLINK) | askdocs | 5kyd1y |
my son was born mine months ago and i've noticed a difference in how i was treated by my husbands family immediately (he was 11 lbs 8 ounces because my blood sugars were so high even with management). things have really gone south since then. i can't functions and everyone comments on my parenting and gives me looks. i thought maybe i was depressed. but my paranoia has skyrocketed. i've been to several docs who changed my meds but nothing works. would psychosis last this long? i have moments of clarity though. right now i feel like im torturing myself and just need to die. i want my children to be treated like everyone else but my husbands family just won't do that. i have no family of my own so i have no one to turn to. i'm desperate. i'm in so much pain because i tried my best but just can't be a good enough mother. i dreamt since i was a child about being a mother and doing my best but it's just not falling into place. am i psychotic? i'm in so much internal pain. if i see a doctor i know they'll have to put me away, letting them take the kids. i'm too far gone. how do i reel it in enough to get go a doctor with out losing my children? | postpartum psychosis | 2s2s62 | i would suggest talking to a therapist sbout what is happening in your life. medication in cunjunction with therapy will be most effective. | mentalhealth | 2s2s62 |
i recently ended an fwb relationship with a girl. we both started off as an fwb because we both broke up around the same time and we wanted to fill the void of loneliness and having someone there. we didn't date because we were so torn from our previous so and we had a negative view of being in a relationship. we both wanted to do things bf/gf do while not actually being in a relationship (going on dates, making out, sex, and being there for each other). it was all good until recently where one night i had this thought of me just using her as an object and "someone i go to cure my loneliness and boredom" and i just felt so shitty. i really didn't want to end this relationship because i honestly cared for her. she has a great personality and fits my ideal type. and i didn't want to lose her to some other guy who is gonna hurt her again. she also told me the day i ended it that she felt the same way. basically we caught feelings for each other. but i honestly don't know what happened to me but the conversation ended up me ending the whole relationship because of me feeling shitty and wanting to tell her how i felt. i felt good for about 10 minutes because i was able to tell her how i felt, but i felt a wave of regret and loneliness right after. the feeling of loneliness that i hated and didn't have just came rushing towards me. she is sad and i am sad. i wish i can rewind time and either correct how i said things or just not say it at all. i really want to see her again and give her a hug, but at the same time, i don't know if i'm in the position to ask her since i was the one who ended it. does anyone have any recommendations for me on what to do and correct this fucking situation? i just miss her so bad and i want to start it again. | i (24m) ended an fwb relationship with a girl (23f) and i regret it. any help? | gzjkga | if you cared for her and she’s your “ideal” type. what kept you from discussing your feelings for her, work through healing your past relationship (with a therapist), and being in a relationship with her instead of “using” her? | relationship_advice | gzjkga |
it’s that day again. guess what day it is? happy hump day, everybody! what's up wednesdays are when we sobernauts celebrate the sober life, see how our sd family is doing, and support each other. share your good, your bad, and your ugly (or your pretty, or your future, or whatever else is on your mind) with us below! ----------------------------------------- **the good:** i have always been in such dread of the impending winter gloom that i have never fully appreciated autumn. this year, for some reason, i am loving it. perhaps seeing the leaves turn so beautifully in the adirondack mountains has finally made me appreciate the loveliness of fall. **the bad:** i’m working so hard at various editorial projects that i haven’t really had any time to relax. (when you’re a freelancer, it’s only ever feast or famine.) **the funny:** [this is how i feel on some days.](WEBLINK) | what’s up wednesday | dc4fub | the good: i'm on day 65 and feeling mighty proud of it. the weather here has finally dropped below the 100s. i've got an exercise class tonight that i'm looking forward to. the bad: i've had a pretty draining past couple of days. i'm hoping today is a bit more relaxed. the future: i am going to treat myself to something on day 75! not sure what yet, perhaps a new dress. :) | stopdrinking | dc4fub |
i am trying to make more friends this semester as i spent my freshman year pretty isolated with high school buddies and close friends of my girlfriend. there's a girl in one of my classes who is really sweet and i think we would be good friends. she's in my girlfriend's sorority, but they barely know each other (which is part of the reason i want to get to know her better, because i am only friends with my girlfriends best friends and not others, i want to expand my social circle). what are some ideas to hang out plantonically? i don't want it to seem like i am asking her out because i am not, i just want to get to know her better as a person. all ideas appreciated | ideas to hang out with a girl platonically? | 9khvx3 | if you don't want her to get the wrong idea about you wanting it to be platonic, hang out with her with either your girlfriend present and/or in larger groups of friends/event/party type atmosphere. | socialskills | 9khvx3 |
**\*suicide trigger warning\*** **last year, two days after my college graduation, my mom attempted suicide. it was almost a year after her first attempt.** it’s been seven months and i can’t forgive her. the whole family, my mom and dad’s side attended my graduation. i could tell from the moment i saw her she was depressed again. she had gained weight and her demeanor was just… blank. over the next 24 hours there were several things for which she was obviously upset with me - including not hugging her *immediately* after i left the auditorium, to spending the night with my siblings who had driven 4-9 hours away to see me. the next day we drove back to her house in another state so i could spend mother’s day with her. that night she left the house. she spent the night at a hotel, got into the bathtub, overdosed on a cocktail of drugs and was found unconscious by a maid the next morning. she was on a ventilator for two weeks. she almost died. and to reiterate - it was mother’s day. two days after my college graduation. i can’t forgive her. based on the timing and her obvious anger with me, she made me the focus of blame. it was the worst day of my life. as a child, i was infatuated with her. stuck to her hip. she was a loving and kind mother. then she went off the rails. and now, she’s different. manic. making bad decisions. she only talks about herself. she treats me and my sister like we’re her friends - like we are the sensible ones, like we are obligated to be her sole emotional and social support. but we’re both in our early 20’s and trying to figure our own lives out. but really, what hurts the most is how she made it about me. i changed after that day. i’m getting over it and i know it wasn’t “because” of me but damn… how could she do that to me? i felt like i aged ten years over that weekend. i blamed myself for so long and whatever positive perception i had of myself of being a kind, good person, it’s gone. it’s all gone. a piece of me has died. i struggle to be happy and optimistic. i struggle to care too deeply for people. and worst of all, i struggle to love myself. i don’t know how to get those feelings back. we talk and i care for her, but on some level i hate her because she took away my innocence, my self-love, ability to trust people and so much more. thank you for reading, if anyone does. | last year, on mother's day, my mom attempted suicide. | aiuyrq | oh girl, i don’t know you but you have a good head on your shoulders. you are right to be upset and hurt. what she did wasn’t okay and it’s okay for you to grieve the experience you didn’t get, of celebrating you and your accomplishment. i’d be happy to talk more if you’d like . pm me :) | offmychest | aiuyrq |
i just wanted to share the news with someone. i have self harmed for 11 years and after getting on an antipsychotic medication, the need is gone. i'm happy. thanks for reading edit: thank you everyone for the sweet comments! | i haven't self harmed in 50 days | 63pyvd | hey you, yeah you, i'm proud of you! i'm sure it's been a struggle, but you are doing well! don't look back <3 :) | offmychest | 63pyvd |
i am not referring to swearing at eachother such as "what the fuck", or "im fucking pissed". i am talking about people who call you names directly when mad or when confronted with something that they don't like. i am asking this because i just broke up with a guy who during the span of our long distance relationship called me quite a few colorful names. among them were "dumbass bitch, bitch, the c word a few times, idiot, retarded bitch, whore (when he was suspecting me of cheating), referred to me as a slut) among those things he took cheap shots at my character anytime he got really upset. in my opinion i believe these things are absolutely unacceptable and i should have gotten out a lot sooner. i want to be with a man, not a baby who has to express himself in such a way. it got to the point where i started doing the same thing back to him and i feel awful about it. so what do you think folks? unacceptable and do you consider this emotional abuse? | is name calling ever acceptable in a healthy relationship? or is it emotional abuse? | 5on0dr | name calling is never acceptable. it is emotional abuse. (i'm a therapist) | relationship_advice | 5on0dr |
maybe this is old news to most of you, but even if so i'm hoping there are at least a few of you as oblivious as i am. if you work on your laptop in public- at a coffee shop, in the library, at a populated workplace- decorate it with stickers that reflect your interests. it's a great way to catch the attention of people who share them. i always get excited when i see someone with a display related to something i'm into. especially if it's a bit niche. but graphic clothing can be considered tacky and bumper stickers aren't so convenient. so with laptop stickers, not only might someone who shares an interest of yours want to approach you, they'll have an easier time doing so because you're providing a built-in conversation starter. | something i just thought of: put stickers on your laptop! | ce0bzt | i love the idea, in fact, mine has quite a few. a few pieces of advice: make sure that the stickers will be right side up to the people sitting across from you. this means that when it’s closed, they’ll probably look upside down. view them as if you were sitting across from your laptop with it open. put them on your laptop case not on the laptop itself. mine, for example, are on a speck case rather than directly on my macbook. no shilling, just being transparent. resale value, people. pick stickers that look cool but also are ones that are recognizable. when you open your laptop you’re not going to be seeing the stickers. these stickers are not actually for you— they are for people you wish to interact with!! this isn’t the place for a limited edition special holographic collector’s sticker. | socialskills | ce0bzt |
tw all the way, you can skip and read the tl;dr here: tl;dr: i have sexual triggers but no memory of a sexual trauma. my therapist told me the triggers might come from my childhood trauma. now i don't know how to feel. is this common? so i have those triggers like * going to the obgyn * having sex * mention of sexual assault and the like, in rl or tv ect. * being in a (public) situation that may or may not result in me being assaulted, e.g. speaking to a stranger/ walking alone alongside stranger(s). my thoughts just spiral till i am convinced they want to assault me. that results always in panic/ distress and can result in heavy panic attacks/ disassociation. furthermore i sometimes feel the urge to get rid of my sexual organs, like ripping them out of me because they feel rotten and disgusting and i feel like carrying a dead weight. i do struggle with urges of self harm too, because i feel the need to "cut it out", don't know what it is, but it doesn't belong there and i just feel it. this one may be related to another trauma tho. i do not have a memory of being r*** before but minor assaults. i do not remember 60% of my life. i told her my triggers and she asked about my family and there was a lot "only" verbal and psychological abuse, so i just never linked it together because i have other triggers too that "fit" childhood trauma "better". my therapist told me that my "sexual triggers" might come from my childhood trauma. and i just... i can't breathe. i feel so invalidated and i just wanted to ask are there people having "sexual triggers" from verbal/psychological abuse? as i have no clear memory of a distinct event i'm not bound to the idea there *has* to be something that happened i don't remember. but as a part of working on myself i tried to understand my triggers and separate them between 3 traumas, and one was the possible sexual trauma. i don't know how to feel about this and i think i need help. does someone have triggers that don't really match their trauma? is this common? | so my therapist invalidated me today? am i wrong about this? | ewmv6o | where there's smoke, there's fire, as the saying goes. the ambiguous facts would seem to point to past rape or sexual assault experience. however, you dissociate, and do not recall any such experience, and in the absence of such memory it isn't clear that it must have occurred; it is at least possible that there is some other explanation, though personally i find that rather implausible. a cautious therapist might be concerned about giving you ideas that can't be proven, or even participating in the generation of false memories. in my experience, however, what you are describing is overwhelmingly likely to be post traumatic stress secondary to sexual abuse you do not remember due to the dissociation. verbal and physical, non-sexual abuse does not produce the sort of symptoms you describe. | ptsd | ewmv6o |
here's a interesting topic that i'm currently dealing with. (do excuse my sloppy typing, at the moment, i'm just waking up) why is america leading high with depression and anxiety? i'm a in-between being asocial man (not too much of a people person) to social person (the only time where i'm forced to be social is at employments) i was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in 2016 and was forced to be hospitalized by my psychiatrist at the time. i realized when growing up, i couldn't never fit in, feel right at home when interactions with others as i got stuttering, weight issues, heavy bullied in school and lack social deeds, i was in special education classes, which admitting that it's hard for me to meet people and lack the motivation. i realized i'm coming down with depression over time from events in my life. but i do paid off all of my bills and i need to be social more but i don't know how. anyways, back on topic from my personal sentiments, i think what leads americans to have have anxiety problems and depression, is lack of face to face conversation, not enough social events for young people, everybody seems be on social media (lol even myself) and people too busy with stress and worrying with bills and money. i was recently talking to foreigners from around the world and it's quite interesting that they don't have mental health facilities where they're from and i wonder from my viewpoint that america isn't a country for trying to be social. that's all for now. thank you for reading this. | why is america leading high in depression and anxiety? | 7d5mbv | my short opinion that i could rant and rave about for hours is the way our culture shamed asking for help and being vulnerable. this encourages limited emotional expression unless you are exploding and can’t hold it in more. for me it’s all about our culture. there are so many variables i could go on and on. | mentalhealth | 7d5mbv |
my friends wedding, and my brother was supposed to give the toast, but he was already drunk by the time of the toast, so i was handed a glass of champagne and asked to take his place. so..... somehow as if in a dream, i saw myself do this, i put the glass down, picked up a glass of water, and toasted, in front of 200 people with a glass of water. it's weird, and im not bragging, i feel like as if a brick fell off a building and for some reason, i moved to the left, and it missed me. i don't feel proud, just relieved, relieved and lucky. today is day 5 for me. | i was asked to give the toast at a wedding, yesterday. | 8koup1 | well done. weddings can be tricky...between frees bars, toasts etc its not easy. good work indeed.. | stopdrinking | 8koup1 |
so a few years ago when i just turned 17 (19 now, turning 20 in a few months) i had this friend who we will just called j. he was 21 at the time and i really just felt bad for the guy... he always told me that he couldn't connect with people his age so he always was friends with people younger than him. for the beginning of our friendship he was dating this drop dead gorgous girl who ended up becoming miss maryland teen so it wasn't like he was some socially awkward penguin that didn't know how to speak to people. they broke up and he began to have an interest in me. we'd often hang out at his house, he still lived with his parents so most of the time we'd be just sitting in the family room watching some movie. i've had no interest in him other than a friendship and he was well aware of that. he's put his face in mine and kissed me a few times but i'd put an end to it quickly. nothing over the top really would happen. well, one night i was at a party and we ran out of beer and stuff so i called j to see if he could buy us some considering he's of legal age. he came to the house i was at with the stuff and stayed for a bit. he didn't drink at all and just sat there and talked to all of us. after i realized i was smashed i thought i should go home and go to sleep. since j hasn't had anything to drink, and he was my friend i asked him if he could take me home, instead he brought me to his house. i thought it was strange but didn't really care considering i was extremely drunk. i just plopped down onto the couch and shut my eyes. i woke up to him kissing me and touching me, and i kind of just blew it off and pushed him away and said i was tired. he kept on trying and this is when it mostly turned into a blur... i don't know if i was trying to block it out or if i was too drunk to remember but i know we ended up on the floor in the other room and i know we had sex. the most i remember from during sex was when i tried pushing him off but he held himself there and then i gave up and just let it happen. i know if i was sober i wouldn't have let that happen. i'm just still so confused... the next morning when i woke up i pretended like nothing happened until i got home because i didn't want to cause a scene in front of his mom. once i got home i took a shower because i felt so dirty and just cried... i wasn't sure if it was my fault that it happened or not. after that he messaged me and told me that what he did wasn't to just get in my pants but that he cares about me and wanted to be with me and i just ignored all the messages. he said that i was the one that asked if he had a condom, so that means that i was okay with us having sex but i don't remember saying it... this is starting to get really choppy and i'm sorry about that i'm just not good at typing really long stories. even after that though, i still spoke to him. i mean we never hung out again but he drove me to work a couple times, got me a job, and we would speak on facebook sometimes. i'd never get near him though... one time at the mall like a year ago he put his arm around me jokingly and i got this really sick feeling. i feel emotionally scarred about all of this but i don't know if i have reason to. can i actually call this rape? i would never go to the police about this because i don't want to ruin someone's life but i just want to be at peace with all of this. | was i raped? or was i just being stupid? | 18t3hp | it sounds like rape to me-- but the most important thing is your own reaction, and from your own reaction i think it sounds like rape to you too. | rapecounseling | 18t3hp |
any tips on keeping the relationship from getting stale? been with my significant other for a year and i want to keep the spark going. we've moved in together and things have gotten a bit routine. | relationship getting stale?? | 6hg1tm | everything gets familiar. being in love means loving beyond the newness. life is routine. you just have to stay focused on each other. be interested. do lots together. life isn't a honeymoon. | relationship_advice | 6hg1tm |
asking for my father. 58m, caucasian, 5ft 9in, smoker, diabetic (diagnosed recently but been for a while now), alcoholism, high blood pressure. he went to the doc for the first time in years recently and his blood pressure was 200/110. hes now on lipitor or some similar hbp med i'm sorry i dont know exactly. also apparently he has one kidney smaller than the other? oh and he lost around 30lbs in the past 3 months with no effort so we both were kind of expecting something bad, hoping it was "stress". so hes been putting off going to the doctor cause he knew something was wrong. he went, got referred to urologist, been pissing blood, they did a scan he had a huge tumor and a smaller tumor so they did emergency surgery. according to stepmom they "scraped into the muscle" to see if they "got it all" and i guess they're waiting for follow up. how likely is it that this is secondary to colon cancer? ideally, this has convinced him to agree to a colonoscopy. tbd on that. also, obviously no one can diagnose without all the info but is "into the muscle" indicative of stage 3? appreciate any and all info and thank you to all the docs who engage in this sub. with healthcare and insurance the way it is you guys really are doing amazing things for strangers on the internet when you provide insight and empathy. cheers. | discovered bladder cancer, likelihood of colon cancer? | aco1kd | it's relatively rare for tumors to metastasize or locally extend to the bladder, and smoking is the number one risk factor for primary urothelial cancers. so it's more likely that this is a bladder cancer, but it's not impossible for it to be colon, prostate, or even other kinds of malignancy. | askdocs | aco1kd |
hey guys, i pick at my acne pretty obsessively, but have been really good about it the last couple months. the areas, however, that aren't necessarily seeing imprivement, are these 5 scars right above my eyebrows (one right in between, then two on either side across the brows). they remain red spots, while the rest of my skin heals normally. these are areas i picked at repeatedly off an on over a span of 6 months. they aren't scabs, they're relatively smooth skin, but there's some obvious red color to them that i need to know how to get rid of. when will they return to the color of the rest of my skin? is there something i can do to speed up the process? thanks | had some questions about my facial scars | 9804fq | hi! i recommend, in general, checking out r/skincareaddiction. some really great advice over there! a few high points on helping discoloration heal: 1) use sunscreen every single day! find one that doesn't make you break out. at least spf 30. i use biore watery essence spf 50, which you can buy on amazon. 2) try incorporating a chemical exfoliant (specifically, an alpha hydroxy acid - aha) into your routine. don't use it on broken skin, though. check out the ordinary's lactic acid (theordinary.com) or pixi's glow tonic (which you can find at target in the us). both of these are pretty good starter acids. lactic acid is the most gentle, in general. i also love the ordinary products because they're so affordable! 3) hydrate your skin well. check out r/skincareaddiction for good moisturizer recommendations. i personally love the ordinary's plant-derived squalane and natural moisturizing factors (i put the squalane on first, then the nmf). 4) try a product with niacinamide. again, i use the ordinary's niacinamide + zinc. i apply 3 drops in the morning, before my squalane + moisturizer. | compulsiveskinpicking | 9804fq |
had anyone had a hormonal imbalance that caused excessive urinating at night? i thought it was the spironolactone but discontinued that months ago and it’s still happening. i’ve read up on nocturia and saw it can be hormonal. i’m on loloestrin fe. anyways it’s annoying and interrupting my sleep! anyone else? thanks! | nocturia | csrk7d | have you ever tried berberine to help with levels? i eat pretty well and walk daily. i liked the pdf you shared it was informative. i’ll certainly consider switching from loloestrin...just worried because it has been the only one that hasn’t affected mood, usually bc historically makes me so irritable and moody! anyways thanks! | pcos | csrk7d |
my buddy began talking to an extremely cute woman he works with and after finding out she's single thought it would be a good idea to introduce us. he showed her my facebook pics and she told him i was super cute. he did the same with me and i find her very attractive. we all 3 met for drinks last weekend and she's great; super funny, fun, personable, the whole package. she ends up inviting both of us out with her old friends to nye party. i tell her i already have plans to go to a party but can meetup after. come nye, i show up 40 minutes before midnight and we wait in line to club with 15 of her friends, my friend, and me. we go to the bar, and of course she gets served first, but stays behind me to wait. at this point a very attractive woman looks me up and down and introduces herself, shakes my hand and asks my name and why i look so sober. i see my "date" watching the interaction out of the corner of my eye so i'm as polite as i can be to attractive new stranger. however the moment i introduce myself, my "date" grabs my hand and pulls me away and says "their about to start the countdown!" which they do i change hand direction so our fingers are interlaced and we countdown and she promptly kisses me. it was great. i go back to get drinks because i don't like to dance hip-hop and by the time i finally return to her and her friends on the dance floor everyone is talking about going to one friends office down the block. we buy some cheap champagne at a store and while we're in line another attractive girl asks me if i would like some gum. i say yes and chat with her a few seconds and say thank you while still chatting with my date and her friends. we get to the office and it gets a bit spotty because ive had too much to drink and champagne hits me hard. i remember talking to my date throughout the night and at one point her best friend's new boyfriend, who she didn't enjoy and i just met, tells me in the bathroom that my date really likes me. fast forward to 3am-ish and my date asks if i have her number. i say no and again, i'm spotty but cant recall asking her for it. she leaves and i leave about 30 minutes after. pizza guy arrives with pizza at last, and i let him in, return to the party for a couple slices and. like i said, my memory is spotty. come thursday i drive to my friends job to print off some paperwork he asked me to help him with and approach her desk to ask for her number and explain how embarrassed i am for drinking too much. i sense her attitude towards me has changed. i couldn't place my finger on it... anywho i ask her out sunday for some bowling with my friends and she syas she isnt scheduled to work yet and she can attend. i felt like this was a setup for a cancellation and sure enough, a couple hours ago she texted me: " hey i just found out i have to work tomorrow so i can't make it bowling. maybe some other time." i respond "bad luck, are you free this week?" her: "possibly. i'm super-busy at work because school is starting, but i'll have to see" me: "no worries, i understand. i'm sure you already have plans tonight but can you spare an hour for coffee?" her: "sorry i'm spending time with my 3 week old niece" then i chat bit about her niece and that brings us to now to me, this is a woman that is uninterested in me. i have 3 thoughts: 1- she feels through my actions on nye and how i asked her out with friends, then did not contact after confirming bowling that i am not that interested in her. 2- she did like me but my actions nye and drunkess has turned her off and she has moved on. 3- she simply has to work sunday please give me any thoughts you have, guys and ladies. tl:dr met great girl through mutual friend, everyone tells me she's into me, kiss at midnight, grab her number 48 hours later and ask her bowling with friends and she says yes, now she's been "scheduled to work" sunday evening. is she still into me? | great girl, but now this leaves me scratching my head... | 1ufrt5 | any number of things... what first comes to mind is that she genuinely liked you, but something happened to make her change her mind. could have been anything really-- i had a similar situation about 15 years ago, and the guy i really liked/had gone out with a few times, etc, made some comments about gay people that were bigoted and off putting. i decided i had misjudged him, and gave him the cold shoulder after that. (in hindsight i should have said why.). but, for me, that's what this situation brings to mind. i would just say to her, straightforwardly, "hey, i'm just curious if i did anything or said anything that upset you. i really enjoyed spending time with you, and thought the feeling was mutual, but now i'm getting the sense that it's not. i just wanted to check in about that, and it's ok if you'd rather just be friends." see how she responds. | relationship_advice | 1ufrt5 |
i've been seeing him most weekends and we talk every day. we were not exclusive, but i didn't/haven't slept with anyone since meeting him. i know he was talking to other girls, and there is significant evidence to suggest he either did or was going to, and i told him its whatever i just don't want to know. we literally spent the entire weekend together, and then i don't hear from him since wednesday. i know he is active on social media, but barely, and i don't know what to do. | why would a guy (20/m) who you've been seeing and talking to every day suddenly stop talking to you (20/f)? | 681q48 | impossible to know another's brain. most of the time they don't even know | relationship_advice | 681q48 |
i've been seeing my current therapist for about 9 months and i don't think it's working out, she's great to talk to but offers no actual help, then she went awol for a month and now the final straw is that i found they've been charging both me and my insurance. anyway all that to say how to i end it with her? just the thought of it is giving me panic attacks. thanks | dumping a therapist, any tips? | 2c9but | psychologist here. you don't owe your therapist anything and can just walk away if you want to. it would be nice if you would make clear that you are leaving and if you want why. you can request a list of alternative therapists too. i belong to several lists and we write each other for who has skills and room for clients all the time. the ideal thing from the therapist pov is to do a termination session or two to say goodbye and review progress and for the therapist to make recommendations. but this is not required. | bipolarreddit | 2c9but |
i'm not very sure about how detailed i want to get---i'm at a point in life where i feel like i have a lot going on. but one thing weighing in my mind is the fact that i will be 29 this year. i have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now, and we don't talk about marriage. he says he only sees getting married if we're having kids...even though that is a goal. it's always been a very odd topic because he came from more financial stability than i did. i mean i pay my own bills and all that jazz but--/there is this strange undertone when you date someone who presumably has more than you do. i can't explain it...but 4 years later and i still feel really strange when i'm not feeling like i'm meeting him 50%. that's a different topic. really. his younger brother met his now wife ironically at the same time he and i met. they were married this past august. most of his friends are married...i kind of asked a few times why it isn't something we speak of...and he'll say of course he would, but then we drop it. it's never been a conversation. i hate to ponder relationships past, but i even had high school boyfriends that would dream with me about a future, marriage and even kids names...anything future oriented is a very odd topic. ...i love this man. we don't fight or have true problems or anything, but i don't feel like i have any reason to believe we have a future (we do live together for a little under a year...before this i had my own apartment) we live together and lately i just fear that i pour all my time into fixing this home and doing things for him, and he is just going to waste all my fertile years there are obviously so many loose ends t this story... but after all this time, do i have any right to want more? i'm not saying ultimatum status or anything...but after all this time, i think i shouldn't have to feel weird to ask or inquire...right?! i went through some horrid heartbreak in my early twenties and i believe i have become a tad more of a person to just go with the flow to avoid turmoil... i'm rambling now. we've been together for 4 years, we live together, and all of our friends are getting married. he has never mentioned marrying me. not one time. i have brought it up and he kinda gave me an "of course" to shut me up, but i don't think i can even picture his mouth saying that word... help... | 4 years and no future | 5mows2 | if someone doesn't know what he wants after one year, he'll never know. 4 yrs is way too long to wait for a commitment. | relationship_advice | 5mows2 |
i'm worried i might have it, and i need a bit of reassurance here. bit of background: i have been diagnosed with ptsd and severe depression episodes with psychotic symptoms when i was 16. i was then diagnosed with bpd when i was 21. the doctor thought c-ptsd is a more close fit for me, but that wasn't in the medical handbook. i'm now 23, i seem to be getting more unstable as i'm getting older, my hallucinations are getting stronger, same with the delusions, paranoia and mood swings. i don't really get effected by my ptsd anymore, though i am very jumpy still and i still have a very bad temper. i still get periods of low mood but can go for a few weeks without one but sometimes my low mood can be severe and carry on for weeks. i used to be high-functioning for a bit but now i'm becoming more low-functioning. please can someone explain the difference between the 2 conditions? i'm not asking for a diagnosis, just some reassurance that i'm probably overthinking. sorry if this came off as rude and thanks for your help. | hello, can someone tell me what is the difference in symptoms between psychosis and schizophrenia? | a17lyv | therapist here, and i agree with the above definition. psychosis is a symptom- typically an impairment in thinking that alters your perception of reality, such as hallucinations and delusions. schizophrenia is a mental illness, with psychosis as a symptom. many different mental illnesses (and other medical illnesses as well) can present with psychosis as a symptom. mental health related psychosis is more common in adolescence as the brain is still developing and neural pathways are more flexible. i would definitely consult with your doctor and/or therapist to find a way to better manage your psychotic symptoms. | mentalhealth | a17lyv |
hi all, i'm a male, 24 years old, 5ft9 and 75 kgs. i've searched all over google but couldn't find a definitive answer. was hoping one of you could clarify for me. does nitroglycerin inhibit/induce the metabolism of other drugs, specifically diazepam? if so, how and which ones? as far as i found it does not inhibit any of the major enzymes, and i found no other mention of potential interactions. edit; thank you for the big response. i feel i should give some more information. i was diagnosed with heart disease 1,5 years ago. for the last 6 months, i've taken the exact same drugs/supplements: i was diagnosed with heart disease 1,5 years ago. for the last 6 months, i've taken the exact same drugs/supplements: - nicorandil 20mg x2 daily - ranolazine (ranexa) 500mg x2 daily - bisoprolol 2,5mg x2 daily - omega 3 fish oil x 2 daily - vitamin a, b, c, e supplement x 1 daily - n-acetylcysteine 600mg x2 daily - magnesium malate 2000 mg daily i do not drink grapefruit juice. aside from these drugs/supplements, i was prescribed 2mg xanax daily 1,5 years ago as they suspected my symptoms were due to a panic disorder. as soon as it was clear that it was heart disease, i started a taper to get off xanax. over the course of 5 months i gradually tapered down from 2 mg's xanax daily to 1 mg. at that point, i was switched from 1mg xanax to 8mg diazepam over the course of 1 month (november). i tolerated the switch without any problems other than ringing ears. in december i was on 8 mg diazepam daily (4x2mg every 6 hours) without tapering down, to adjust to the diazepam. i take my medication on a fixed schedule. i'm 100% positive i never miss a dose or take a dose twice, as i prepare my doses for a few days at a time. i do not drink any alcohol, soft drink and i do not smoke. in the first 4 weeks of 8mg diazepam daily and no more xanax, everything felt pretty stable, with some mild withdrawal symptoms but overall far better compared to xanax alone. one week ago, out of the blue, i felt extremely sedated by the exact same doses i was taking before. nothing has changed regarding my diet, medication, lifestyle,.. the only thing i can think of that isn't planned out and used 'as needed' are nitroglycerin patches, which i use at random, maybe 2-3 days a week. my main concern is obviously that i don't want to go backwards in my taper. however, i do not understand what would cause me to feel this sedated while nothing has changed. thank you. | nitroglycerin drug metabolism interaction | efgpbv | how much diazepam are you prescribed? | askdocs | efgpbv |
as the title says i was laid off on may 31st after 19 years with the same company. i was also diagnosed with adhd about 6 months ago but have been unmedicated due to medicine not being approved by a combination of my primary care and a psychologist. i have been waiting for my wife's insurance to kick in so i can go back to therapy. every day for the past two weeks i have been having total breakdowns daily, usually it comes from being completely overwhelmed with too many simultaneous tasks and my brain having to make order of all of them before i proceed and not being able to. i just come to a complete stop. i have made no progress since my last day of work to obtain new employment. a couple of networking meetings with acquaintances but that is about it. any tools or strategies for some temporary relief for my overwhelmed adhd brain until insurance kicks in again? | laid off after 19 years | c4bfo5 | i obviously can’t say anything diagnostic or make treatment recommendations based off of a reddit post, but you might consider that your recent emotional disturbances aren’t just due to adhd. being laid off after 19 years at the same company is a huge life event, and it will likely take some time to process and understand what kind of impact it may be having on you. difficulty concentrating, lacking motivation, and feeling sad/down are also symptoms of depression. again, i of course could never diagnose you, but it does seem relevant that these feelings/symptoms have increased and become more disruptive to your life since you left your job. i would encourage you to be as kind, patient and gentle with yourself as you can, recognize that you’re going through a major change in your life, and consider that there is probably going to be a period of adjustment to this change, during which you may experience a variety of emotions - and that all of this is perfectly normal and to be expected. even positive life changes, like getting married or having a child, are to some degree disruptive and stressful. humans like habit and predictability, and find change difficult. i think getting back into therapy would be to your benefit. while you are waiting, perhaps you could let trusted friends and family know what you’re experiencing and ask for support. at the very least, that will mean that you aren’t alone in this, and that knowledge alone can be a huge comfort. as far as concrete steps you can take right now, there are self help type workbooks that you could use. a common technique therapists use to address motivation and encourage behavioral changes is called behavioral activation. it’s a component of cbt, or cognitive behavioral therapy. i’ve not personally used a workbook specific to this topic, but it might be worth looking into. i did a quick search and found this one: WEBLINK | askatherapist | c4bfo5 |
anyone else with a long relationship find it hard to converse with your partner been with my gf a year now and sometimes i literally have nothing to say not because i dont want to talk im quiet to begin with and i just have nothing to say. advice anyone ? | long relationships | 5swj1j | everyone has a different degree of talkativeness. it does not mean that the relationship is in trouble. you just have to find a middle ground that's good for everyone. | relationship_advice | 5swj1j |
history in the past 18 months: abused phenibut at doses of 10-20g / day. was hospitalized twice. the first was a 5-day stay that i barely remember at all. the second i was put in the er, then the icu, then a psych ward until i stabilized. i have abused alcohol in the past 18 months at extreme doses for a period of three months. the extreme substance abuse stopped 8 months ago. in the past 4 months, i have been taking phenibut at a single 2g dose per day. i have been taking kratom as well at a dose of 10-15g per day. i ceased phenibut use 5 days ago and had a panic attack. i had gabapentin on hand, and took 800mg. this helped. i went to urgent care for advice. they just said "well, if the gabapentin helped you, keep taking that discontinue the phenibut." so that's what i did. 800mg when i felt the anxiety coming on. the next day i had an overwhelming panic attack. i went to my psychiatrist, explained situation and he gave me clonidine and vistaril. i had another panic attack and went to the er that night. at the er i requested baclofen for a proper substitute for the phenibut, they refused and gave me xanax. i began taking gabapentin the next day - 800mg every 4 hours up to 4000mg/day. i took it every 4 hours because i didn't want to risk a panic attack even coming on. i took the xanax once or twice since then and that helped as well. so here i am, day 5. for the most part i am ok. i have a general uneasiness through the day and a bit of social anxiety (not normal for me). i continue to take kratom as it helps my mood (plus i am probably physically addicted by this point and i don't want to compound the withdrawals). does anyone have a timeline when i will be back to normal? should i begin tapering off the gabapentin already? i am wary of using the xanax because my gaba receptors are probably so shot from my phenibut abuse. will the xanax give me rebound anxiety? should i try to get a longer-acting one like valium or lorazepam? ******tl;dr lots of gaba-a and gaba-b abuse over the past 18 months. i'm scared of discontinuing my medication and facing the damage i've done to my brain. i'm not sure who to talk to about it.**** what type of doctor would be able to help me with this? no one i've seen seems to know anything. i have state-provided insurance** i am anxious in general, i'm anxious about tapering off gabapentin but i'm also anxious about if/how they're affecting me if i keep taking them. i don't have a solid plan and thats my biggest issue. | polydrug abuse / withdrawal - who can i see? not many doctors know anything about phenibut / kratom | 52ity7 | depends where you live. your gp should know the most appropriate way to access addiction services? edit: i'm an addiction psychiatrist in the uk. you would be appropriate for my service, and id be working with you in the community with the rest of the multidisciplinary team (rather than as inpatient). | askdocs | 52ity7 |
i am 20 years old and a few days ago i had sex with a woman 12 years older than me that i barley knew. (32 years old.) turns out she had a husband. and 2 kids. afterwards i became paranoid that he would find out somehow and track me down. every unknown phone call i got scared me to death. finally today i started getting an unknown phone call, again and again and again. i freaked out, i was afraid to answer. so what did i do? i went straight to at&t and changed my phone number. why?!? i fucked up. later i find out it was just my mother calling from the on-star phone in her car because she left her phone at the house today. wtf? so i text everyone in my phone that i have a new number, and my reason? i said i had been getting too many sales calls and just wanted a new number. not a new phone just a new number... how do i explain this to people? i'm feeling like my life is over now. i just had to get that off my chest. i must be the world biggest dumbass. i doubt anyone believes my story and now everytime i look at my phone number its going to remind me of today and how fucking stupid i am right? also i can't change my number back because ive already told everyone about my new number. any advice would be great. thanks.. | had sex with a married woman..changed my phone number.. my life is falling apart | 1p3mcy | why are you still freaking out? it's done. and changing your number due to spam is a great excuse. why would you need a new phone? you wouldn't. | offmychest | 1p3mcy |
just as a older sister not a relationship. i wanna talk to her about my problems and go out with her. i’ve never asked her to go out (i don’t want to make awkward). i want her trust me. | how to get close to my cousin? | 8gkde2 | you've answered your own question. if you've never asked then the first step is to ask her if she'd like to hang out with you. | socialskills | 8gkde2 |
i got diagnosed with adhd in middle school/high school years by my pediatrician at the time. yes i was on medication as well. but its been over 5 years since i have taken medicine or seen an adult physician about it. i moved to a new city since then and i am in my third year of college and over the years my gpa, my relationships, and my work situations have suffered tremendously. i finally got around to making an appointment with a doctor in a few days and i was wondering if since its been so long since i’ve taken medicine and been diagnosed if i’ll have to be re-tested? thanks!! | will i have to get re-tested to get medication again? | ae2s3m | probably not retested but if you can get a hold of your old test records or medical records, your doc would probably find it helpful. | adhd | ae2s3m |
na and aa doesn't work out for everyone. and not everyone needs it to stay clean and sober! so what are some ways you guys keep yourselves motivated, and things you do that help you stay clean and sober, without meetings, a sponsor or a big book? | alternatives | 6uilmq | small goals. therapy. discipline. focus. good friends who know my history. strong foundation. gratitude. staying busy. self acceptance. i give you the following info because i count myself lucky for not getting into harder drugs/letting things go longer (i.e. what works for me may not be enough for you):i knew i was an addict when i could t quit smoking pot no matter what i did. my mom is an alcoholic, runs right through her side of the family. i drank heavily when i drank but never had a problem stopping/not drinking when i chose to. i didn't like where i was, but i was functioning and was very successful at whatever i chose to do. then after being on adhd stimulant medication for 5 years (and a lot of life stress) i started abusing the hell out of it, failed some grad school classes, and decided to take a medical leave of absence to get this shit handled. 94 days in treatment, 6 months outpatient, meetings nearly everyday for about a year. then school started again and i didn't have much time left for meetings. the solid foundation makes a huge difference for me. i feel completely secure in my sobriety, even though i recognize how fragile it is. | redditorsinrecovery | 6uilmq |
hello r/pcos, my girlfriend suffers from pcos. i want to cook her some food which will help her lose weight. i recently got a crcok pot and i've been looking at a few recipes. are there any low carb recipes that you use the crock pot for? atm i am thinking about a [curry chicken]( WEBLINK) without the potatoes and with cauliflower. | what are some good slow cooker/crock pot recipes? | 3kqn69 | beef stew without potatoes might be really good! :) | pcos | 3kqn69 |
i posted before for advice on asking a girl out. but i never thought she'd say yes. i've known her for a few months now and finally grew half a pair and finally asked her. tonight is our first date going to a restaurant. since we're in college in the middle of nowhere and my parents absolutely refuse to let me drive even though im a senior and the girl just moved here so she has no car either my friend is kind enough to drive the both of us. anyways im really nervous, anxious w/e.... my head is like stuck in a loop i don't think i'll be able to walk right when i see her. holy shit what do i do and any tips lol | m21 super nervous/anxious for first date that's in 6 hrs and i don't know what to do | 5s8erd | think "one thing at a time." memorize a list of a few topics so you don't fumble in crunch time | relationship_advice | 5s8erd |
there is a lot more to this but it's too much to write, but if you'd like me to fill you in to have a better understanding of my siyuation, inbox me. i tried to make this as brief as possible to kind of have an overall idea of what i'm going through. so i'm in college and last year i got involved with this guy. he kissed me on the day we started talking and i've been with him ever since. in between all this time, we've been intimitaly involved with one another and i have grown very fond of him. however, him and i are not exclusive, we're more 'together in private'. i also came to find out before that he is the player type and that got me worried. but it wasn't until a few months ago did things start to get rocky. he hangs out a lot in my dorm and i heard a few conversations (not intentionally listening) he would have with girls and they were very flirtatious. he said things that broke my heart beacuse i heard him say things like 'babe' and 'i love you' over the phone, yet he's intimately involved with me. he also spends a lot of time with me. so i find the whole situation confusing because i don't know what he's doing. last semester, i was depressed for almost a month because i was trying to understand where we stood and just when i was prepared to quit, he bounces back and gives me the attention we had before, and it seemed like he wasn't with the girl he was talking to anymore. but i'm still unsure about him. he will flirt with girls infornt of me and i wonder if he even cares about how i feel and if he's just using me because i'm always there for him. my roommate has had brief conversations with him about me and she told me that he wasn't sure about me because i am 'too nice'. this really sucks because i really do care about him and i've done so much for him already (feed him, let him sleep over, hang out, let him use my things, helped him with his work...) and i feel like it was all wasted. i'm honestly at this point where i'm even scared to get into a relationship becasue this pain that i feel coming from someone that i really thought genuinely liked me hurts too much. so my question reddit is whether i should keep going, should i try to see if this could lead to something or should i just end it all? even though i have never been in a relationship at my age, i am not the type of person that would ever cheat or try to be with multiple people at the same just to have my options open, and that's what i feel like he's doing to me. i feel like an option and i'm really devasted because i almost consider him to be my boyfriend, but with the heartbreak that i'm feeling, i don't know if i want to be in a proper relationship. tl;dr - guy i like and have been 'unofficially' with for almost a year is causing me to wonder if he cares about me at all. should i end it or see if anyhting does happen? | i [20/f] don't know how he [24/m] feels about me after everything we've bee through. what should i do? please help! | 69cn7g | you want exclusive? or for him just not to rub your nose in it? | relationship_advice | 69cn7g |
how do you.deal with getting tempted to drink coffee or energy drinks ? my sleep isn't the greatest and i'm often tempted to drink a lot of caffeine, but i also know caffeine can make things worse for adhd and anxiety. it's a vicious cycle, curious how people manage. | caffeine consumption | brbhri | generally, if you're not medicated, caffeine makes things substantially better for folks with adhd which is why so many of us self-medicate. prior to starting meds, i drank 4-6 cups of coffee a day and smoked about a pack of cigarettes. this calmed me down and helped me focus. usually whenever i see people who do this sort of thing in my practice, it's an indicator that someone likely has undiagnosed/unmedicated adhd. since starting adderall i can't drink more than one cup of coffee if i drink any on the days i'm taking my meds. i don't really feel the urge or need, even though i still love coffee :-d. i drink it on the weekends when i take days off of my meds in order to avoid building a tolerance. | adhd | brbhri |
can we file a case against them or do something for this? | i was misdiagnosed for being a bipolar ii by a senior psychiatrist in a very reputed hospital specialized in brain. i don't trust those money making morons anymore. ever happened to you? | 2g3jyy | well honestly it depends on the details of what happened whether or not you have a case. i | depression | 2g3jyy |
hello. im a 16 yr old girl who has suffered from severe depression, generalized anxiety disorder, & suicidal ideations for most of my life. i have recently fallen back into a dark mindset and feel as if im spiraling out of control. every small thing is triggering to me & i need to get to my therapist & talk it out w her. i work this weekend (at a fast food place) & there is no way i will be any help at work. my last few shifts i’ve had panic attacks & was crying constantly. is it possible for a therapist to write you a note excusing you from work for the weekend? if i felt like i could tell my management that it is a mental health related issue & have them take it seriously, i would but ik i’d get in trouble. | can a therapist do this? | eqmh0r | depending on where you are the management is not legally allowed to punish you for mental or physical health issues. in the us it’s called americans with disabilities act. though in some work environments it’s best to just get out of there and find somewhere that will be better. food service is stressful and as someone who has worked in restaurants (actually have a culinary degree) the people you work for aren’t the most understanding and the way they treat workers is pretty awful. this is why i left that industry. retail isn’t much better, but there’s less stress. i also left that industry and went back to school for a career in mental health. so i get what it’s like working for people that expect the job to be your number one. i remember a manger trying to tell me i couldn’t take vacation to go see my 90 something year old grandmother. i told them if they wanted to fire me to go ahead because she was 1000x more important to me than that job. it’s ok to advocate for yourself and have priorities outside of the job. you need to be your priority right now. i know that’s hard when you depend on the income, but it’s not worth your health. <3 | askatherapist | eqmh0r |
that is all. but it is the truth. | doing drugs is a very effective way to forget how happy you used to be | f7zh4k | i didn’t used to be happy, though. i’m still not, but i didn’t used to be either. the drugs gave a temporary reprieve from the sadness. | leaves | f7zh4k |
serious question. i’m 17 m currently starting my last year of highschool. i have reacurring dreams of committing mass murder and fantasise about torture. over my time at school i’ve been called cold hearted and heartless, my friends say i don’t have emotions, when isis became relevant videos of their executions would be passed around while others looked away i laughed this also true with other violent scenes in movies i.e. church scene kings man which i find funny while others don’t. people at my school are scared of me. i’m just writing down what i can think of but should i be concerned? | should i be concerned | 7p70zs | i think seeing a mental health provider would be good and could help your sort this out. you could speak confidentially about what is happening to you as long as your dreams are dreams and you aren’t planning to kill anybody. however before disclosing this information talk to the provider about how they see their mandated reporting and tarasoff duties. because while most good clinicians recognize thoughts and dreams are just that- inexperienced providers might freak and report you. however it seems like you’re concerned enough that you’re curious and open to feedback from others which i think speaks to the fact that you do have feeling in there. there’s a good reason you are the way you are and it might be worth it to see what those reasons are. take care! | mentalhealth | 7p70zs |
my relationship is very sexed up. we shove, slap, choke, push each other's faces against walls, and call one another some pretty blush-worthy names. don't get me wrong. we're not constantly a pair of bunnies; however, if at least one us is hot and ready... the other will soon follow suit. it's go time. and this will normally go on for a few hours at a time. if i have not made it clear enough, we have very rough sex. that's all fine and dandy, but my vag is not indestructible. sometimes it hurts too much because of the previous session and i just can't do it. i need the r&r. the problem is, my boyfriend will try to get things going between us and when i tell him i really can't at the moment, he'll proceed to be miffed at me. he either: a) says something passive aggressive: "you need to learn to keep up" b) tries anyway (only when i've persistently whined and complained about the pain will he stop) after that's all said and done, he's distant. his vocabulary dissolves into monosyllables, he won't touch me. he will completely ignore what has just gone down. i don't know, it's as if i'm stepping on his pride when my lustiness doesn't outweigh the raging pain in my lady region. what can i say to get him to understand how and why his behavior during these types of situations is not okay? | how do i say no to my defensive, overly sensitive boyfriend? | 2a0zf0 | it does sound as though he's being rather jerkish about this. personally, i'd take my power back and be very blunt and assertive with him. granted, if you do this he will likely blow up and try to get control of the situation back in his favor, assuming that if he gets upset enough you will back down. if you go this route, stand your ground at all costs. he seems to have forgotten (or not care) that your body is yours. you do not need to continuously explain that it hurts, no means no. period. if he becomes passive aggressive and says things like "you need to learn to keep up" tell him if that's how he feels, there's the door, because you are intimate with him by your choice alone. you are not property, and it really bothers me that youre being treated as such. he tries anyway after you tell him no? absolutely unacceptable. he has no respect for you or your body. the reason he becomes distant is because he didnt get what he wanted and is trying to "punish" you for it. i've been in a very similar situation, which is why i probably seem so upset about this. please understand my frustration is 100% towards how he treats you, and not towards you. if he is the kind of person i'm imagining he is, this suggestion wont likely work but i will offer it anyway: before you guys get in a heated moment try discussing the issue with him. before he tries to make a move, and before things get intimate. explain your concerns and be very direct about it. "i've noticed you get frustrated with me when i dont want to have sex with you sometimes, and when i say it hurts and i dont want to, you either disregard what im saying or become passive aggressive followed by becoming incredibly distant. what are your thoughts on that?" i'd also take this opportunity to explain to him your body is yours and you dont ever have to be intimate with him if you dont want to. please pm me if you ever want to discuss this further. i sincerely want to help, and i've been in a relationship like this before. i understand the feeling of not knowing what to do - and how no matter what you do in this situation its "wrong" in his eyes. my heart goes out to youm | relationship_advice | 2a0zf0 |
my boyfriend’s father and his stepmom started seeing a counselor (i don’t have his name so i’m unsure of his degree) together for issues in their marriage. he also sees each one individually. i thought this strange because my experience has always been my therapist won’t see us alone. now his stepmom has asked for him (my boyfriend, 33) and his stepbrother, 20, to see the same guy together. his stepmom has a long history of self medicating for depression, she suffers from undiagnosed mental health issues dealing with delusions, paranoia, and narcissistic behavior and this is her first time seeing a counselor, a few months ago we cut ties with her because of her delusions. i’m wondering if this normal or crossings the line of ethics for the counselor to be seeing the whole family in this manner.? | ethics question | ddabc4 | it's not crossing the ethical line in and of itself. whether it's good clinical practice is really something that a lot of us in the field are split on. some believe that it's good practice because that way they can get a better understanding on the family dynamic as a whole. others such as myself would almost never do this because i believe that it's my role to support and be on the side of my client when working with them. doing this i'd essentially have to keep bouncing back and forth and play multiple sides. given extra and i'm sure conflicting information/opinions, it would be nearly impossible to do this. if i lived in a small town where there were very few therapists and it would be extremely difficult for each member of the family to see someone different, i might consider this, understanding that while this isn't best practice, it's better than the burden it would cause the family to maybe have to travel substantial distances to see someone else. thankfully i work a large city where there are enough therapists that this is never a problem. also.... she can ask for anything she wants. that doesn't mean he's going to do it. | askatherapist | ddabc4 |
one of my triggers is sunny 60/70 degree afternoons - i want to head to the nearest restaurant/bar with a patio for a glass of chilled white or an ice-cold beer - especially after a long workday. to combat this craving, i started experimenting with different healthy (ish) juice recipes and figured if it works for me, maybe someone else would benefit, too. for each of the recipes, i prepare the herbal tea ahead of time and let it chill for a bit in the fridge, then throw the cleaned fruit into a blender, strain it into a pitcher and then mix in the other ingredients. experiment with the amount of tea based on how sweet/ripe the fruit is. *melon mint* 1 watermelon juice of 1 lemon or lime 2-3 cups mint/rooibos/chamomile/vanilla tea (i used adagio’s foxtrot) 1/4 cup sugar *pineapple melon* 1 cantaloupe 1 cup pineapple juice 2 cups water (or substitute your choice of herbal tea - a ginger tea would likely taste great) 1 lime 1/4 cup sugar *strawberry* 1 pound strawberries 1 lemon 2 cups lavender chamomile tea 1/4 cup sugar these recipes were inspired by local restaurants’ daily agua frescas; i decided to mix fruit juices with teas instead of water and was surprised at how awesome it tasted! the herbal teas add a depth/complexity like what you’d find in a mixed drink, which is why it’s worked so well for me. hopefully these concoctions will help others as they’ve helped me enjoy the sunny weather without alcohol! | refreshers for sunny days | 8ktnnd | lovely. i will try these. i agree the juices etc often need depth. hydration is king | stopdrinking | 8ktnnd |
43/m. life long poly addict. most recently (1 yr) graduated from the highly sought after crack addiction (classy, right?) to the esteemed and prestigious meth addiction. i only thought i knew what addiction was.... i've been stim free for 21 days now. personal record :). anyhow..... today, while cleaning, i came across a "bullet". you know know, a snuff dispenser. now this wasn't just any bullet either. this particular one had a mixture of mdma, methamphetamine and heroin. ......there's still a decent amount left........ .......definitely enough for a couple of hits at least..... ...... smash that shit! get it the fuck away! i'm not saying i'll never use again....... i'm just not going to use today........ | i did something today... | cywx50 | fuck yes!!! every sober second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and years all count!!! not today is all you need to focus on! so fucking proud of you!!! | addiction | cywx50 |
throwaway account because i'm a disgusting human being. where do i start. me \[m18\] and my girlfriend \[f15\], this is our first relationship. (id ask you to ignore the age difference, in germany this relationship is legal and even tho there is a \~3 years difference, we still go the same classes, both 11th class. shes also quite mature so we are almost on the same mental state too, this story isn't influence by the age difference). we both love each other and are about 2 months into the relationship. we also started to explore the sexual side of things. that's where i messed up. we didn't have sex yet but we did everything around it. i have now proceeded to keep on going, while doing this kind of activities, twice. both times it was me trying to make her feel good, not me. both times she asked to stop or take a brake and while i did that i got back to where i left of after a couple of seconds. she has asthma and not very healthy so getting her too excited or doing too much of anything makes her feel bad afterwards overall. the last time i did it i already said that that i was sorry, and i truly am. i don't know what happened this time but i just ignored it. i do not want to prove that what i did was right or not wrong but some things should still be said. both times my gf has proceeded to play along and enjoy it, i think if the signs were clearer i would have stopped but it is not an excuse, i should have stopped right away. after i talked to her the next day she brought up the point. she referred to it as a mistake we both are responsible for and that shes not angry or mad about it, but she still says that something should change. this already happened the second time, i really don't know what i should do. i know what i did is wrong and i cannot stand myself at the moment, i just feel like the most disgusting human being i know. i really dont know how to handle all of this, i just need someone to tell me what to do. i will now go to sleep and try to think about what i did. | i did a mistake, twice | fv4n60 | this isn’t to shame you, but this is blunt to try and push the points. if she says stop and you keep going that’s not for her pleasure (“to make her feel good”) that’s 100% for your pleasure if it was for her you wouldn’t have kept going. she should not be taking some or any of the responsibility in this. she said stop and you ignored it twice. do not let it happen a third time friend. that is not ok. you seem to care about her so show her you care by respecting her body and her words when she says to stop. if anything think of a few years down the road if you two aren’t together and she is more grown up. then she realizes how you sexually assaulted her and she comes after you legally (trust me this happens. i have clients who have been legally charged for sexual assault years after the incident). you are 18 years old you’re not a child, you need to learn control over yourself. | advice | fv4n60 |
i'm 5'10" 110lb female and recently i've been exposed to alcohol. i ended up drinking over 8 bottles that night, and i continued to drink a few bottles through the morning and afternoon. i'm afraid i might get alcohol poisoning, so for my size how much is too much? i didn't black out during the night and i thought i was in good control of myself, but my stomach wasn't too happy about the quantity of alcohol i drank. still there's a bit of pain in my stomach. it feels like i'm really really hungry and my stomach is curling up into itself. i asked my friends what their level off is and they said 8 beers. but they're over 200lb and males. i'm not sure when i should stop. | i'm not an alcoholic, but i want to know how much is too much. | 1hathy | it's so relative i have a hard time believing anyome here can tell you. i'm a 5'8" 170 male and my cut off was when i physically could not intake more or when i ran out so i was around 24 beers a night. so there's really no way for us to tell you because it's so circumstantial. | stopdrinking | 1hathy |
he checked himself into va inpatient treatment this weekend. i was able to visit him yesterday after calling ahead and talking to his nurse, but it was a surprise to him when i came in (i thought the nurse would have told him i was coming in). it was nice to see him, but the visit seemed to make him feel homesick. i'm definitely an anxious person myself, so i've been thinking/worrying about him. the dilemma i'm having is that i'm not sure how often i should be visiting/calling. i really want to talk to him everyday, but i'm not sure if that's what's best for him. any advice on calling/visiting, or any questions i should be asking the nurse before visiting again? | my husband voluntarily committed himself | btykcy | i would also suggest talking to his therapist for suggestions about visitation. | askatherapist | btykcy |
28, f, 5'1, ~110 lbs, white, usa current medications: klonopin prn to sleep (usually 0.5 mg 3x a week), vitamins hx: trauma (child abuse)...been diagnosed in the past with depression, ocd, ptsd, cptsd, but current doc is unsure. issue: i had been on lexapro for 20 years and quit cold turkey (i know, i know). withdrawal passed, and it's months later. i've been dealing with severe suicidal ideation, and through my therapist, it's come to light that i've had mild psychotic (mostly paranoid) episodes at different periods throughout my life. schizophrenia runs in my family (aunt, grandmother), but any psychosis i have is very, very mild (assured repeatedly by therapist and psychiatrist). several weeks ago, i tried zoloft, but had a terrible reaction (hallucinations, increased suicidal ideation). last week, i tried getting back on the lexapro, but had severe nausea and dizziness. i live alone and felt it was dangerous to be that dizzy. my psychiatrist prescribed me abilify 2mg to take over the next long weekend. would abilify work alone on depression? does it work for ptsd? my doctor hasn't decided on a diagnosis for me, saying it's either "major depressive disorder with psychotic features" or "ptsd with psychotic features." i suffer from a great deal from anxiety and insomnia as well--would the abilify help with that? i would really, really not like to be hospitalized. i've avoided it so far in my life, and right now my insurance situation is not the best. my psychiatrist isn't readily available, so i'm hoping for a second opinion from the internet before risking more bad side effects. thank you! | abilify alone for depression/ptsd with psychosis? | 6vn4x3 | it's hard to say - i suspect your history will require a nuanced approach due to its complexity - so i can't say if it's right for you or not. nevertheless it isn't unusual to try antipsychotic monotherapy to manage symptoms. sorry for the vague answer! | askdocs | 6vn4x3 |