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last year my insurance was fantastic. i could go to any counselor in my network and i had zero copay. it was great. i just got a new job this year which i'm happy about but my insurance is terrible. they won't pay for any of my counseling sessions until i pay a $1500 deductible first. after that, they will only pay 50% of the counselor's fee. seeing a counselor now would cost me $500 a month. that's more than my car payment. i just can't afford to see a therapist anymore. is anybody else in the same boat? any advice? thanks | i can no longer afford to see a counselor for my depression | 7yrnpt | i am a therapist and sadly had the exact same thing happen to me. 2 options that i would recommend, first look around and see if you can find a therapist willing to work with you on a sliding scale. usually small private practices will take your income into account and offer to see you for a certain amount of sessions at a lower rate before slowly increasing up to their usual rate. these therapists and/or agencies can be difficult to find but they're out there. another option is seeking out group therapy for depression. group therapy is often used by people in your situation because it's generally much more affordable than individual therapy sessions. some people even find it more helpful. best of luck! [-the web shrink](WEBLINK) | depression | 7yrnpt |
okay, so from my understanding, to say 'i love you' means that you care for that person and that you want to see them happy. you wouldn't hurt them and its more surface feelings that come from infatuation, whereas 'im in love with you' is more intense and passionate. you feel that for someone you cannot live without. what does love mean when a one person tells the another person that they love them? (considering they are at the start of a romantic relationship ) would you say 'i love you' to someone you met online and spoke to for a few weeks if you only enjoyed talking to them? or would you say 'i love you' if you started developing feeling for that person? if you 'love' someone, would you still sleep with someone else? thanks in advance! | difference between loving somone and being in love with them? | 6wr4pw | "in love" means love plus sexual feelings | relationship_advice | 6wr4pw |
i can't stand it when the stereo/tv volume, thermostat setting, or cooking time for a food is an odd number. please share something about yourself! | quirk alert!: i h-a-t-e odd numbers. respond with one of your quirks! | v439f | here's another. i think almost everyone up to 10 years younger than me is older than i am. it is really weird when someone calls me sir. i am now older than my parents were when i was born and i still feel like a kid in a lot of ways. | aspergers | v439f |
i'm writing a book and i'm attempting to be realistic. would a therapist ask a patient to leave if the patient began screaming at them? do therapists ever use their home as their office? if threatened with violence would a therapist throw away their professionalism and yell back at the patient? | question about a situation | ck8urq | as others have said, context is important here. i had a kid pull a butcher knife out when i was in his home but i knew he was just being dramatic so i wasn’t worried. on the other hand, a coworker was violently murdered by a patient when she went home for her lunch break. a good therapist would stay professional and never scream back. our focus would be in this order 1) assessing for safety of the person (do they need to be hospitalized?), 2) maintaining our own safety through perhaps getting up and moving closer to the door or establishing a larger perimeter of personal space, and 3) role modeling a therapeutic response while descalating. | askatherapist | ck8urq |
sorry for the slightly long history here - having some odd issues right now and was wondering if anyone could shed some light on what is going on. i'm 30 - female, no medications. it isn't diagnosed but i've had a few rounds with severe depression in the past, as well as episodes of hypo-mania. the depression sucks, but i've gotten better at handling it, haven't had a bad episode in a few years now. the mania, is generally amazing and i have zero desire to have it treated. it isn't severe so at worse i usually get a whole lot of coding done and maybe come off as a little over-intense to coworkers. i usually go a few days without sleep and then back to whatever the hell normal is. i switched jobs about six months ago to an ostensibly better job - way less stress, insanely better pay. everything has been great, except i've been alternating between going out of my mind with boredom and being in a bit of a half asleep haze. that finally let up about a month ago and i've been feeling better - although nearly unbearably restless. the mode i've been in has been somewhat good - doesn't feel like depression at all. if anything i've been in that energetic, elevated, and over-animated mode that i associate with hypo-mania. the only difference is that my emotions seem to be gone entirely. it is hard to explain exactly because it seems so contradictory but i feel like i'm revving out of control because i've got all that drive and energy with absolutely no capacity or reason to direct it. i've experienced some brief periods of disassociation in the past - where it felt like i was somewhat watching someone else and the thoughts and feelings were theirs not mine. this is so different now though - it is like they are gone completely. i can't claim that it is entirely bad - as far as i can tell even the things that make me scared or anxious don't even register anymore. the complete lack of motivation is a lot more troubling though. i've always been (untreated) but pretty much textbook add but my distractability and inability to even want to work on a task is beyond what i've encountered before. i can't even stay focused on my own goddamn daydreams at this point. i'll mention that i've been mentally very clear, no confusion although obviously the distractability means that i'm not functioning at 100%. my ability to communicate is all over the place but doesn't seem impaired overall - nothing that wouldn't be explained by my normal scatterbrained nature. the restlessness is driving me a bit mad - exercise helps but nothing seems to get rid of it. i've never been the postergirl for being in touch with my emotions but the length of time they've been gone and the completeness of it is a bit disconcerting. | complete loss of emotions and motivation | 1v1yoz | it sounds like you've done a lot of self-diagnosing, and that can always be dangerous. it sounds like it's time to see someone. a psychiatrist or therapist would be the best place to start. tell them how you're feeling, see what they suggest, and go from there. | mentalhealth | 1v1yoz |
i know i have to do work, and i know i'm actually good at my work, but for some reason i avoid it and feel some anxiety about getting started. in the past i would put it off until i absolutely needed to get it done, but now i'm working on a much longer term project that has no fixed deadline, so i'm afraid i'm going to put it off until it's meaningless and i've failed. this was one of those things i hoped would fall away after i'd put some distance between me and the smoking, but apparently i'm going to need a little more powerful weed killer to get this one. any suggestions, techniques, or anything else you've learned? thanks everybody, all your posts and comments have been so helpful to me, and i love this sub like you can't imagine. | 78 days in -- anyone have any suggestions for procrastination, work anxiety, and a fairly toxic avoidance of things i know i need to do? | 771oyh | .you need to see a therapist my dude | leaves | 771oyh |
i had been dating my bf (m/23) for almost 7 years when i (f/21) had a 6 month affair. we were serious, committed and living together. he felt the relationship was fine but i wasn't happy. not with myself nor the relationship. i loved him, but i just wasn't happy and i wanted more from the relationship. it wasn't until the affair ended that i realized all the mistakes i made and everything i could have done to fix the relationship. it's been 3 months since he found out and broke up with me. we're in this strange place where we still work/live together half the time, but don't really talk. he said if i want any chance of getting back together, i'd need to follow his guidelines: not go out to places like bars/clubs, tell him where i'm going all the time, tell him who i'm with, not have friendships with other guys, etc. so of course i did. i love him more than anything and now realize the affair was me acting out because of personal issues, not because of him... i recently found out he's started dating other girls and even though i knew that was probably going to happen, i started having anxiety attacks. this whole situation has taken such a huge toll on both of us. i miss him so much. i've never been so regretful and miserable in my life than i have been the past 3 months. have you ever had an affair? what did you and your partner do after? how did you handle it? what helped/didn't help? any advice or stories you could share would be so helpful... thanks for reading this long one. | have you ever had an affair? what happened after? | 5km7by | everyone is different when it comes to broken trust. reach out every now and again. you never know..... | relationship_advice | 5km7by |
hello r/ocd, my fiance has been struggling with what we're both pretty sure is ocd now. she had a therapist appointment today, and i believe the therapist confirmed my fiance's theory. we had a big fight tonight, and afterward she really explained the extent of this problem to me for the first time. until this point i thought her ocd problems were fairly mild, but tonight i learned that she spends hours making mental lists and thinking through the exact process needed to do a lot of simple tasks. it's caused a lot of fights when i don't make a choice or act in a way that that falls in line with what she expects/needs to happen. she's at her wits end trying to care for our 10 month old daughter while i'm at work. please provide any advice you can for someone who is largely new to what real ocd is, and needs to care for a significant other suffering through it. thank you. edit: thanks for all the kind words so far. since it's a general consensus in the advice, i will state that both she and i have been going to a therapist for a few months now, both in individual (for each of us) and group sessions. the most recent session left us with the advice to find a general practitioner about getting medication for her. this is the next step we need to act on. (on a side note, any advice on how to overcome anxiety about making doctor's appointments would also be a big help, as it's something we both struggle with.) | fiance with ocd | 4rt1wc | buy and read "the imp of the mind" and "loving someone with ocd". the first is a good overview of what ocd is in its various forms, the other will help you know how to respond to her symptoms and develop your compassion even more than you currently have. also, if your fiance is comfortable, go to a session with her to get on the same page. | ocd | 4rt1wc |
32, female, hispanic, 160 cm/61 kg i’ve been on 200 mg of desvenlafaxine for around two years now. yet i’ve been having several symptoms for a while that i’ve just learned are characteristic of lack of dopamine. i used [this](WEBLINK) and [this](WEBLINK) as guides and i 100% match the symptoms. **psychological symptoms:** • anxiety - the paralyzing type of anxiety • depressed mood - check. i just feel like breaking down in tears at any moment. • aggression - i’ve never acted on it, but i have thoughts of violence over the smallest slights and it scares me because i’ve always been very peaceful. • impulsive behavior - my poor poor bank account. • insomnia - can’t sleep without benzos • irritability - i used to be a very calm woman. now literally anything can send me over the edge. • low self-esteem - can it go lower than zero? • poor appetite - haven’t been eating almost anything other than cookies and soda. occasionally i try to force myself to down a fish so i can have some protein. • poor memory - i can no longer have spoken conversations because it takes me forever to remember words. **psychological disorders:** • eating disorders - i have found myself unable to improve my eating habits, almost like it’s beyond my power. • obsessive-compulsive disorder - i compulsively pick on my skin, specially on my legs. • panic disorder - on a good time, 2-3 a week, but it can happen several times a day. • post-traumatic stress disorder - haven’t been diagnosed with that. • social anxiety disorder - i’m this close to becoming agoraphobic. **physical symptoms:** • carbohydrate cravings - i literally can’t stop myself from eating stupid candy. i’ve been trying to go on a keto diet for a couple months now but i feel like i’m simply unable to stay off the carbs. i didn’t even like candy that much before. • weight gain - 11 kg since february. • fatigue - hell yeah • nausea - i feel like there’s a bit of background nausea/stomach discomfort at all times. i’ve kind of got used to it. • digestive or gastrointestinal motility problems, such as irritable bowel syndrome and constipation - i have ibs-c. i can easily go a week without pooping and i have a lot of intestinal cramps. so…what do i do now? why am i taking the highest dose of an snri and still having problems with lack of serotonin? any help is appreciated. | [32f] i’ve been on ssri and snri medications for the past 9 years, yet i show all symptoms of lack of serotonin. | cnfox1 | there are no symptoms of lack of serotonin. there are symptoms that are treated with serotonergic medications, but that’s not the same thing. you’ve left out a key question: is desvenlafaxine helping? if it’s not, it’s not. there are other ssris and snris our there. if it is, you wouldn’t be alone in needing augmentation. that’s something to discuss with your psychiatrist. | askdocs | cnfox1 |
i stole this idea from /r/fitness. they do a "moronic monday" thread, where everyone is allowed to ask dumb questions. this is the same sort of idea - if you have a question that you've always wanted to ask, but never felt comfortable starting a whole thread about it, ask it here. if you just want to reach out, say "hello," or let people know that you've been lurking, go for it. if you want to make a general statement or observation, say thanks, or get something off your chest, have at it. if you're thinking about quitting but haven't mustered up the courage or resolve, tell us about it. anyone can ask, anyone can answer. throwaways are fine. ------------ man, so many new faces around here, i can hardly keep up! why not take a moment to say hello & introduce yourself? i'll go first: *"hi, my name is offtherocks, and i'm an [irc-aholic](WEBLINK).*" that'd be a lot funnier if it weren't true. if you're not the friendly-type & don't like being cordial, then why not take a moment to tell us all to f- off? better, post a picture of something [cute & fuzzy](WEBLINK). that'll probably go over better. and if you're feeling creative: > send a haiku to, ambivalent_fanatic, on reddit dot com happy monday, everybody! | modest monday - lurkers, n00bs, and irc-aholics, let's hear it | yjhxe | there's a quote from the big book that's been resonating with me lately, and i can't readily find it online and don't have access to mine, so i'm paraphrasing. but the essence is, "i have to put my sobriety before my friends, because if i didn't have my sobriety i wouldn't have my friends. i have to put my sobriety before my job, because if i didn't have my sobriety i wouldn't have my job. i have to put my sobriety before my family, because if i didn't have my sobriety i wouldn't have my family." helps me keep my priorities straight. | stopdrinking | yjhxe |
hi! as the title says, i'm having a spot of relationship trouble. my girlfriend has been with me for five months, and i think we get along really well. she's gorgeous, caring, sweet, bubbly, and is into gaming like i am, which is always a nice thing. a small issue she's quite self-aware of is that she suffers from insecurity, anxiety, and a constant fear of being judged/mocked, due to a rough life involving lots of bullying at school and an unstable mother. this in itself does not bother me and i try my best to support her. what does bother me a little is that i'm starting to feel a bit... intellectually starved in the relationship. there are a number of reasons for this. - difference in interests. i'm into it, software development, coding, etc, which is something that bores her to tears (like, last time i offered to show her some stuff i do at work she just flat out said she's not interested). she studied environmental science, which she rarely ever talks to me about. i'm also a very competitive gamer, but she stays well away from competitive gaming due to being too sensitive to toxic players, etc. - her anxiety makes her feel singled out / judged / attacked whenever we discuss something which we don't agree on. i'm only ever after a discussion (not an argument), which is often quite tough to form on subjects we agree 100% on, but when we try and talk about subjects we may have different views on, she quickly clams up and says she's not up for talking about it since it's too much for her, no matter how hard i try to phrase my statements as opinions and not as accusations. that's a wish i obviously always respect. - her childhood bullying has made her very sensitive to banter/joking around. when we first started dating, i used to jokingly use sarcasm, make light of silly mistake she made, call her endearing (or at least what i intended to be endearing) names, etc. i quickly realised that she never took this kind of banter well, so i've been avoiding it. - she doesn't seem really interested in talking about stuff that requires any form of intellectual stimulation. anything philosophical, scientific, or even remotely technical will just fly past her head. she'll laugh it off and change the subject to something affectionate like "you're so cute when you nerd out". she seems quite perfectly content with just cuddling with me every day and talking about our day, how we've been feeling, etc. i'm up for doing that, but it starts to feel mundane after a while. i feel like she's a person who i would quickly fall into a predictable routine with, and that makes me quite sad. i would love nothing more than to nerd out with her on things, go on deep discussions on subjects we may have different views on, have her open to learning new things from me, have her teach me things, etc... and the issue is i'm just not getting any of that with her right now. a lot of it is due to her anxiety, but there also seems to be a general disinterest on her part to engage in anything that requires a certain level of intellectual commitment. i respect that choice, and don't want to force her into something she's not, but at the same time it's also making me feel rather bored or not intellectually challenged at times. i want to talk to her about it, but this is a very very sensitive subject for her. she opened up to me a month ago about her previous (and first) relationship, and said that one of the reasons her ex left her is because he felt she never wanted to engage in interesting conversations with him. she has since become very self-conscious and worried about that with me, and seeks validation and comfort from me nearly every day on subjects like this. she also often expresses her insecurity when she sees me spending long lengths of time with other friends (especially in online games), or when i don't invite her for a particular thing i'm doing with my friends that she herself is also interested in. i enjoy my time with her but i've become less and less motivated to invite her to things because, for one, i'm always on edge that something a friend of mine says to her might offend her or make her feel sad (she is very sensitive to criticism or many forms of joking around), and, secondly, because she just never shows any interest in long discussions i have with my own friends, often changing the subject to something less intellectual like "who else here is hungry". is the relationship doomed? how can i approach her on such a sensitive subject without instilling a bunch of worries in her? is it even reasonable for me to talk to her about this, or at least tell her how i feel? thanks! | i [22/m] am not feeling intellectually stimulated with my girlfriend [24|m] of 5 months | 5ok6e4 | not every relationship is based on intellectual compatibility. my parents were the happiest couple i've ever known. they shared a ton of stuff, but not intellectual things. bottom line: it wasn't vital to my dad that my mom had that. but it might be to you. key: you have to know what your most major needs are in a relationship. | relationship_advice | 5ok6e4 |
been sleeping from approximately 5am-2pm these past 2 weeks since school is out and i won’t actually do anything (eat, get ready, go out) till like 5pm background: i’ve talked to my dad multiple times about seeing a psychologist for multiple issues, he just agrees but doesn’t really help further to find one my question is: isn’t an extremely shifted sleep schedule, or even lack of sleep (i didn’t even sleep at all tonight, it’s 7am) a completely clear sign that something is wrong? or even suggesting i need a psychologist in the first place? why don’t people worry until it’s too late? idk if this makes sense, was just wondering why humans tend to not reach out for the correct reasons (i know i’ve definitely done this towards friends who’ve shown clear signs of struggle) | why don’t people closest to you notice signs? | bohutl | it's possible he's waiting for you to be more direct. mental health is a really touchy subject for some people. he may be afraid of upsetting you by talking about it. i'm curious. if you know that you need it, why are you waiting around hoping that your father picks up on the signs? why not just go get help or be straight forward with him and say "this is what i need and i need you to help me figure out how to get it." | mentalhealth | bohutl |
would you refer the client to someone else? would you go out of your way to make sure they never suspect it? | what would you do if you found yourself attracted to a client? | eorxmd | i'd first and foremost talk about it with my supervisor or in a supervision group. every decent therapist continues to get supervision throughout their career where they'll talk about their cases with 1 person or a group (generally without giving out identifying data) in order to get feedback. i'd talk about my attraction and about the case to make sure that my attraction is not turning into stronger feelings or impacting my ability to help them. if it was, at that point i'd discuss this with the client and transfer. if it wasn't, i probably wouldn't even bring it up with the client. | askatherapist | eorxmd |
ever since i graduated high school (grad student now), i've always had problems being a sociable and outgoing person. during my freshman and sophomore years no one from my high school went to the same college as me, and as a result i had almost no social interaction. although this got slightly better during junior and senior year, all the people who i was getting close with graduated, and now i'm back to square one with having no friends, save for a few people who are also staying in college with me. ​ what's worse is growing up, my siblings have always been much more outgoing than me and i'm always comparing myself to them. i know this isn't the best metric to use, but to show a comparison, they're both sitting at 1k+ instagram followers while i have close to 150. they're also constantly getting messages from their friends while my phone just sits there with nothing most of the time. ​ i've tried reading a few books and watching a few youtube videos about becoming more outgoing, but those have barely helped. i've been trying to sit down and analyze what i do when talking to other people. my biggest problem by far is that i run out of things to say, or i can't come up with a response to something. for things that i like or for school/work in general i can talk for days, but when it comes to small talk my head just goes blank. getting into situations where i talk to people isn't too difficult, but usually when i'm talking to them theres a lot of awkward pauses just because i have no idea what to say. i know this is a far fetched attempt, but can anyone offer some advice? my biggest fear is that i'll have graduated and have no one i can call a close friend | need help becoming a more social person | axni7i | play a table top rpg like dnd | needadvice | axni7i |
my bf and i have been together 4 yrs, we don't live together, no kids, we are both professionals w busy lives lately we have been having some arguments over many things. maybe for the last year we have been doing okay but not our best. we don't have sexual intercourse since 5 months ago. i know he likes me because we get excited when we play around and he does have oral sex w me but that's about it, heck he even tells me i love this part of your body etc. i asked him why we don't have sex as we used to. he used to want me all the time. he says he is not as interested, when he feels things between us are not good, the thought of our issues get in his brain he says. it's like a turn off he says. im a very private person so i can't ask anyone. i have done my research and have broken it down to: 1. he's being honest abt how he feels about sex 2. he's cheating 3. he's gay what do you think is going on? | sex life, question for men: 28 yo female/ 28 bf | 6geu93 | don't wrack your brain. just go to couples therapy | relationship_advice | 6geu93 |
i haven't drank in over 5 months and it's confirmed to me completely now: alcohol made me totally suicidal. in fact, it's a wonder that i didn't off myself in one of my alcohol infused stupors. i used to think of killing myself every single day and thought i was just a suicidal person. well, i'm absolutely not. not as long as that demon isn't coursing through my veins. i remember i also used to cry almost every single day. no longer. incidentally, i'm crying right now remembering this horror. i'm not saying i'm without problems or worries or cares, but my burdens are nothing compared to what they were on alcohol. i absolutely cringe at some memories of me ranting in despair (one time to someone i barely knew) about how i planned on ending my life. do you know how awful it was to wake the next day knowing that everyone i knew would hear about this? or what it was like running into that person later and feeling such shame, embarrassment, and humiliation about my "confession?" i feel such bitter hatred for alcohol and such compassion for those who've been through this (myself included). also, the people i told were clueless of what to do or say and i wish so desperately that i could take that all back. please, if you're drinking and having these thoughts and have wondered if it is indeed caused (or at least exacerbated) by alcohol give yourself some time and quit drinking. see for yourself how much worse it was once you're free of it. i've almost left this life and my kids and family behind because i was so damaged from drinking and felt i had no options. i know some of you have experienced this before and my hope is to encourage prevention for those who haven't. trust me, you don't want to go through this... it's also far too easy to actually end it by mixing alcohol and other drugs (rx or illegal) even unintentionally. but that's another story. i've never talked about this with any of the people i laid this all on since those occurrences. i remember with certainty doing it 3 times but who knows, i've had so many blackouts it could've happened many more times. truly humiliating. it's weird that i bust out so openly to who knows how many total strangers yet it's taboo and too uncomfortable to do with those closest to me. i want it behind me. i've had a few urges to drink now and then but then i think of these memories, and it's a powerful reminder that i never want to experience that again. it hurt me so badly. thanks for listening and sorry if i depressed you. | i don't want to die anymore | 791mgl | thank you for this reminder. when i walked into my first meeting last november it was literally a choice between life and death... and it wasn’t an easy one. i’ve always felt it wasn’t even a conscious decision, but some deep animal will to live that walked my ass in the door. but it’s easy to forget those days after some time. i can’t tell you how much i needed to remember that. i won’t drink with you today. | stopdrinking | 791mgl |
i started painting a month ago and it's become a fast obsession, do you have a talent you'd care to show off? | we trend to like to show off our work, can i see yours? | q0wpf | well, i made an [online social skills guide](WEBLINK) that i'm pretty proud of. i also do some [creative writing](WEBLINK) | aspergers | q0wpf |
i know many people come on this subreddit to share good news about how long they've stayed sober or what the benefits have been but today's post won't be like that. so if you're not in the mood you may want to scroll past. i've tried a few times to quit but always relapse. the most recent time was monday. with every cell of my being i wanted to quit and even my husband said i seemed more sure of it this time. but then yesterday, once the hangover and shame had worn off, i started to become scared of a life without my security blanket. i felt a great sense of loss for who i am with my booze crutch - confident, funny, snarky, fun and lively. without it i feel shy, self-conscious, unsure, and boring. i feel like no one would want to hang out with sober me because i'm too afraid to relax and be myself in front of most people. so when my best friend texted yesterday and asked to grab a drink after work, i felt a pang of excitement and anxiety. i told him i may just get a soda water and bitters and i actually did, at first. but then i caved and got my regular vodka soda. after a couple of those i started to feel more "myself" (as in the buzzed version of myself). we started laughing and joking more, and having a better time than when i was just drinking my soda water. i don't know what to do. i certainly have been down some very dark and dangerous paths because of alcohol and i can see a future where it slowly ruins my life. i know it can only get worse. but i don't know how to moderate and giving it up completely is fucking terrifying because i do it for social reasons and we are social animals by nature. i did have a great time on wednesday sober with my family for my dad's b-day. i laughed until i cried in fact...maybe because i'm more comfortable with them and know they'll always love me no matter what? when i did sober up for a couple months last year i felt great except i felt super left out and lonely (and kind of bored tbh). i wish moderating were easier! just my thoughts for the day. sorry for the pity party. | alcohol has become part of my identity | dpqzjx | i feel you. i have ugly-cried (more than once) over the loss of my "good buddy" alcohol. (he actually was a pretty shitty "buddy" but you know what i mean.) i just started therapy again for my social anxiety, which has reared its ugly head bigtime without my normal crutch. but dammit, i am not going back to drinking. i think of it like a toxic relationship - the sex was so good, we had so much fun together, when it was good it was great, bla bla bla. but when it was bad, it was so bad. my head knows what's best for me even if my heart hasn't caught up yet. | stopdrinking | dpqzjx |
even if they're people who agree with me on almost everything, i always find something trivial to burst into anger about. no one wants to be around me because of this behavior. i'm often able to hold it in around people but there's this sort of "breaking point" where i can no longer hold in my hatred and anger towards a person or group of people, and i just start acting really hostile to them, and it gets gradually worse. i just stormed off from a group of friends and implied i wouldn't come back, but i think they're glad that i did. no one cared to come and talk to me after that. | i can't keep any friends because of my anger issues | 60suy6 | no time to elaborate but mindfulness meditation can help with regulating this sort of explosiveness if you practice regularly | anger | 60suy6 |
(this got long... tl;dr: walked out of therapist’s office after ~12 weekly sessions that felt inconsistent and disorganized, jumping around to different approaches without going in-depth. i felt ill-prepared to do a task therapist pushed me to tackle. failed that task, and was met with criticism i felt was unnecessary and tactless. was told that my anxiety is normal, yet somehow so severe that therapy can not help me unless i am medicated. hoping to find a therapist who clicks better with me, and make a path of progress.) i’ve heard many times that you gotta work with different therapists and find someone who clicks well with you. makes sense. still, this experience of leaving this therapist has me feeling guilty, stressed, and questioning myself, and i just need to get it off my chest. after not seeing a therapist for ~1.5 years, i began seeing this doctor weekly a few months ago. my first impression of her was her demeanor, the word “brusque” comes to mind. i’d never gotten this vibe from a therapist, but figured maybe i need someone a bit tough who won’t coddle me. i expressed to her at our first session that i am seeking help with anxiety and depression, specifically to learn coping mechanisms for when my anxiety impedes me from doing important tasks, like taking steps to move forward in my career. i get overwhelmed, and “cope” by avoiding. i do other tasks that feel productive but avoid the important life stuff. told her i was interested in cbt, she said great let’s do that. but working with her wasn’t the step by step path that hoped it’d be. so we start cbt stuff- as homework, i started a journal of negative feelings, recording them, recognizing cognitive distortions. but after a couple of sessions she stops all that and shifts our focus to breathing exercises. then another time, she says medication is something i should consider, when previously she said medication is more of a last resort if therapy isn’t helping. i'm not against medication, but she knows i’ve tried many in the past that haven’t helped, some with significant side effects, so i'm trying to focus more on therapy now. around session 8, she says let’s create a “treatment & recovery plan”, something she’s been “meaning to do with me for a while”.. then at our last few sessions, she shifts the focus to dbt, and gives me some worksheets, explaining some of it may not apply to me, but that it might be good for mood regulation. i go along with everything- she’s the professional, i want to be receptive to whatever may help. each time she switches to a new thing she seems to abandon the previous thing, so i get the sense she decided they were not working. i feel i could have benefited from practicing cbt more (and i should have voiced this) during our sessions, she learns that i have very low self esteem, i constantly beat myself up, am self-defeating. she asks me about my past, trying to find a reason for my low self esteem. my past isn’t perfect (whose is?) but no outrageous trauma on which to place blame for my mental shortcomings. she insists in a few separate sessions that i just have to stop thinking negatively. i express that having persistent negative thoughts is not a choice i make, and was hoping that therapy would help me learn to cope with them so they are manageable. her advice is more about having strength of will to overcome these thoughts. i’m like..how though? she actually snapped her fingers to illustrate stopping the bad thoughts. i can’t just flip a switch like that and so i feel i have already failed, am incapable.. worthless. (catastrophizing, black and white thinking) then at our 2nd-to-last session, the homework she assigned for next time was tackling a task that triggers my anxiety: beginning to build a website (as mentioned earlier, a task to move forward in my career). i express to her that i’m not sure i’m equipped to handle the emotions that arise. she says “you seem like a functioning, smart person, you have a job. you just have to commit and really push yourself in baby steps. you should have a fire under your ass.. if this is something you really want,” she says, knowing i have internal battles over whether i really want this career path, if working on it triggers so much anxiety.. but i supposed this was that tough love, something i probably need to hear. my homework is to work on the website for a mere two hours total over the next two weeks. (normally i see her every week but she was going to be away the following week.) anyway, i fail. each time i approached the task, i tried to cope with my anxiety and panic with breathing exercises and cbt logic, but i fell back to my poor coping mechanism of just avoiding it without making notable progress. i do feel like a sham of a person just typing this. could i have tried harder? yes. however, i do well in other areas over those weeks (probably to make up for the guilt) such as pushing myself to eat on a regular schedule, pushing harder to do mindfulness meditation/breathing exercises twice daily, and i begin an exercise regimen, hoping these things will help with my anxiety in general. the meditation and breathing exercises are a nice break, but the anxiety comes back in full force afterwards when approaching the task. i am keeping at it, i get that it takes time. so yesterday i see her for the first time in two weeks. i tell her about eating better, exercising, breathing exercises/meditation. she says great, asks if i put in the two hours on my website and i say no, explain how i tried and failed, and start getting down on myself about it. now she begins to speak with me in a tone of frustration (or so it truly seemed to me, maybe i have a victim complex, this has me questioning reality). she says she can’t understand why i have such low self esteem, since i have supportive people around me, am physically capable, and function well enough to hold a job. now i feel myself start to panic- racing heart, shaky limbs, tense muscles. i feel invalidated hearing this. all the time i beat myself up with thoughts like this. i am staring at the floor feeling attacked. i tell her (not for the first time) that i wish i had a reason for my anxiety, but i don’t, and does that mean my feelings are not legitimate? she says “absolutely not, of course your feelings are legitimate!” ok… i have an urge to leave. my legs feel like they might just carry me out of here. she continues, saying that everyone has anxiety and what i am feeling is normal. i try to interject but she continues, saying she feels she is doing a disservice to me if i have this level of anxiety and am not on medication. that i’m not trying hard enough and need to commit more. that i’ve been slacking on the homework, and yet in the same breath recalls back to the cbt journals (??) she reiterates that she feels she’s doing a disservice to me. i feel defeated, i feel like i’m taking crazy pills trying to follow her line of reasoning. i get up and go toward the door while thanking her for her time, apologizing, asking her to please cancel our future sessions. i’m careful to speak quietly and politely, terrified of seeming overly dramatic, i just wanna leave. on my way out the door she said “i’m sorry you feel that way”. “thank you” keeps coming out of my mouth stupidly as i close the door behind me. part of me feels awful for walking out, like i made her feel like she failed. i exit the building and cry in my car. going round and round in my head like: how could she be so heartless- no, i’m overly sensitive, incapable of meeting reasonable expectations- i failed, i’ll never get better, what’s the point- no, she didn’t handle it professionally, said things she knows i constantly beat myself up about- well, she’s right, i’m my own worst enemy, i hate myself.. etc. i calm myself down, call my best friend who kindly lets me vent and we talk for a bit, and then i’m ready to drive home. now i’m all fucked up.. not sure which of us came up short here. maybe both of us. maybe i couldn’t handle the tough love and just want to be coddled, maybe i’m lazy and don’t want to put in effort. but i know i do want to put in effort. i just want a therapist who will stick to one consistent treatment. surely that’s reasonable? someone who will push me to practice skills to create good habits (like the cbt journaling). who will be understanding when i fail (is that coddling)? i get enough criticism from myself for failing, i do not need it from a therapist too. is it unreasonable to want my hand to be held that much? to have my feelings of anxiety be validated, while also recognized as damaging, and learning to manage them? part of me worries i’m asking too much, wanting to be coddled and tough-loved simultaneously. but part of me is like, no, you'll find an understanding yet firm person to teach and guide you. you deserve to start breaking these chains so you can live better. i really needed to get this off my chest. i feel guilty for taking like two hours to write and edit it, but there’s no need for me to feel that way, because it was therapeutic and now i can wash my hands of it. if you’re reading this, thank you. if you want to share your thoughts or experiences, please do. thank you again and hope you have a pleasant day! | walked out on my therapist, need to get it off my chest (long) | 8sczkh | hey there.. for me, what i really need for my anxiety is to have someone validate and love me while also keeping strong boundaries and setting some containment. it sounds to me like the skipping around to different techniques and the lack of linear concrete tasks was really disregulating for you. i also think there is some truth, probably, in you taking things to heart that aren’t necessarily that harsh? but nevertheless, you may need to start with someone who is more about unconditional positive regard, so that you can replace your inner critic with a more kind voice and then the tough love after that. tough love can be difficult to take when you’re already making yourself feel like shit - it just feels like piling on. i’m sorry you had that experience, and i do hope you’ll look around for someone who’s a little more experienced and a little more kind :) | anxiety | 8sczkh |
i'm wondering how many sd people have read the book allen carr's book "the easy way to stop drinking." i'm looking for a book to help motivate me and i'm wondering if this is a good one. | allen carr | 42pl9t | it's decent and has been mentioned here quite a bit. it has some great points, like fully appreciating what alcohol does for you will actually help you stay clean and that there are ways to avoid willpower battles. it's not add great as advertised though so you'll need to augment. it's still a good read and imo more important than any 12-step book. | stopdrinking | 42pl9t |
i am very new to dating and feeling nervous. i have no idea if i am good looking, i am not really willing to find out by posting an image of myself online. how can i find out if i look normal? i have a symmetrical clear face. i am 23 years old, have recently lost alot of weight, got contact lenses, got some elevator insoles (makes me 3 inches taller - 5ft7 to 5 ft10). i have never been on a date, but am joining some clubs and will be going to bars regularly. how can i find out if i am worth dating? i have been told that women are more picky than men, and i am worried of constant rejections. | how important are my looks when it comes to dating women? | 5qk8sq | old but true saying. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. just be yourself. in baseball, if you make an out 70% of the time, you make it into the hall of fame. just takes one. rejection is over-rated. all it means is that for some unknowable reason, someone doesn't think we're the one. go on okcupid with that in mind. it's free and well run. don't even think about it if someone's not responding. just takes one. for any of us. | relationship_advice | 5qk8sq |
i’m not even sure how to describe what’s happening. i 40m am divorced with three kids 7 9 11, we have a 50 50 schedule and equal custody, the kids go to school in my school district, their mother 41f moved 40 minutes away. she says she’s moving back, she moved secretly 6 months ago under the assumption the children would change schools with her. judge and pc disagreed. high conflict divorce, mother refused to share them, married 12 years, rocky the last two, 6 month trial separation, two years of court battle, divorced now officially for about two years. i asked for the divorce because of how their mother treated me and her anxiety and control issues. we have a parent coordinator as a requirement i requested. two years in it’s still high conflict. the pc recommended we talk to this therapist/parenting coach who focuses on families interrupted by mental illness. the therapist says she doesn't provide any therapy as you might think of it but is instead a parenting coach. i knew something was off right away with the way she said it. turns out she never meets with clients together only one on one. she said what we say to eachother is private and not shared but she isn't there to provide therapy only parenting advice. she says she does this because she doesn't want to be dragged into court but will give reports to the pc. so far her advice seems to be let the children's mother make all the decisions my question however is is this ethical? to talk to us separately? she's clearly using info that we say with the other person. i've posted this in more detail elsewhere. WEBLINK | is it ethical for a therapist to treat two people in a high conflict post divorce relationship but not at the same time and place? | h0hljp | this depends on exactly what her role is. is she licensed ? is she contracted through the courts? if she said she is not providing therapy , there may be no ethical obligation. people who call themselves "coaches " often don't have any oversight or specific code. also , even a mental health professional is not necessarily practicing unethically by seeing you both. for example, if you had an evaluation for parenting, the psychologist would likely meet with you both, which is standard. | askatherapist | h0hljp |
hi all. i have been struggling with seemingly mysterious health issues for about five years now.. insane exercise intolerance, exhaustion, relentless fatigue, alcohol intolerance, dairy/gluten/sugar/caffeine intolerance.. and have generally just had an awful time. never feel rested or energized. “flu-like” after even simple workouts.. and the list goes on. two months ago i started working with an endocrinologist who said i have a slight thyroid issue. he put me on testosterone, progesterone, a host of different supplements (iodine, b complex, d3, pregnelone, nac, quercetin, dhea, and a few others). i have been told that this will take a good amount of time to start improving how i feel, but i am still very confused about whether my condition is manageable with my current protocol or if i really need to be on thyroid medication for this. i definitely do not feel better two months in, but i am wondering if it will just take time or if i am wasting my time and should get on meds. can anyone with knowledge about this help me out? it has been wearing on me. i feel like a 90 year old trapped in a wretched 30 year old body. is there a difference between a “slight thyroid issue” and hypothyroidism as a chronic and incurable disease? do you start medication only when the issue is at a certain level? so lost here. not sure if i can post a photo but my tests results showed: tsh: 3.69 t4: 1.22 tsh index: 5.33 t3, free: 3.2 rt3: 156 t3/rt3 ratio: 2.05 free testosterone: .28ln total testosterone: 27n growth hormone: .30ln cortisol: 18.1 these are the main numbers but i can share more if needed. i am a 30 year old female. any help is so very appreciated! | newley diagnosed thyroid problem. looking for help. | 9ojx9r | your endocrinologist sounds looks like a quack just based on choice of treatment. that is not evidence-based. quercetin is not approved for anything; most of that treatment; nac is approved and shows evidence for some uses, but not any endocrine disorders that i'm aware of. also, if the t4 you are showing is free t4, there is no evidence of hypothyroidism. if it's total t4, there's something off, but that's not the standard measurement for hypothyroidism. there is argument about "subclinical hypothyroidism," but the latest large study found no benefit to treating it. again, i don't doubt that something is wrong, but it looks like the doctor treating you is not following good medical evidence and shows hallmarks of often expensive quack medicine. i urge you to seek a second opinion. | askdocs | 9ojx9r |
my 9 year old got mad his sister took his toy. he grabbed his scissors and chopped his eyebrows in chunks. he lied that he did it and said they're just like that, i did get him to later admit it. i had a talk with him that there are different ways to handle anger but also that if he wanted to change the way they look, he could have come to me. a few days later he cut his eyelashes down on both eyes. i am having a hard time on how to handle this. hes so beautiful, i am so sad to see him do this to himself. i would love any advice on this. hes not an angry boy, very loving but he gets mad at his 4 year old sister a lot. | angry 9 yr old cutting eyebrows and eyelashes in secret. | cj7e13 | if you came to my office with this story, i'd ask a lot about him and your family to determine if a diagnostic process would be advisable. i would need to understand the why and how of this behavior before i could give concrete advice. it's up to you whether you want this kind of conversation, if so, try finding a therapist/psychiatrist specialising in children. | askatherapist | cj7e13 |
hi r/relationship_advice. first time posting here, still really new to reddit in general (3 weeks-ish). i'll try to keep this short. 2016 absolutely wrecked me. i feel like i went from having it all to having basically nothing (and i've been homeless before. 2014 still wasn't this bad in comparison). a relationship of mine [19/f] became untenable after a year back in april, because i realized the person did not appreciate anything i did for them and they would rather yell at me when other people fell through instead of accepting my advice and help. i learned in the process that it is not a good idea to date someone who you act as a mentor figure towards. that person then proceeded to spread lies about me on social media, yes, *that* familiar story. that would have been easy to deal with because the internet is not my life, but i had to move shortly after that. twice. in three months. fairweather friends fell through, and long-time friends became distant. the online rumor mill got worse, and, long story short, i cannot go back to the websites on which i once had many friends. and, not that i ever really had any "friends" through my job, but i was also fired from my job of 7 years (for reasons i will not disclose) back in october. i got a new job two weeks later, but it's a completely different environment--i went from retail to chipotle. i get along with my coworkers, but it feels like they have a social circle i can't get into for whatever reason. i have lived in this current position since august. the only upside to my social life is that i have a new girlfriend [20/f], someone who has remained my only regular-contact friend throughout everything. but at my age, i know it is unhealthy for a relationship when one partner has nobody else to talk to. i'm an outgoing person, really. but after the barrage of hits to my life over the past year, i'm kind of in a daze, and lately i find myself feeling heartbroken, even though i do have a loving girlfriend. it's unfamiliar to me to be in a position where i can honestly say i have no friends. i don't have a lot of money, so i can't really go out to bars, or anything like that. i kind of just... go to work, go home, and on off days, i go to the store and then go home. **tl;dr 2016 wrecked my social life. outgoing person with no money, no car, new job, and no friends. sad! what do?** | [25/unsure about gender?] trouble making friends | 5oez0k | find a therapist; it will help | relationship_advice | 5oez0k |
my wife is super fit and attractive, but low body fat, 2 kids, and genetics have caused her breasts to shrink to much smaller than they were back before she had kids (and she had more body fat). for some reason, she seems to be mentally anchored to her former cup size, c, and keeps buying bikini tops with that cup size. the result is that the cups gape open and allow a view of her breasts and nipples from the side or if she bends over. i am embarrassed for her when she wears these tops because i know that other people occasionally get a glance of a breast and nipple. the frustrating thing to me is that she would still look really hot in a bikini that is made for athletic-build women who don't have fake breasts. i have not mentioned anything to her about this issue yet because i have always assumed that i would have about a 1% chance of success and a 99% chance of hurting her self-esteem and making her self-conscious about her body. is there any way that i can bring this up to her without making her feel bad about her body?! | how do i [m35] tell my wife [36] that her bikini top is an ongoing "wardrobe malfunction" because it's too big for her breasts? | 5kffte | 1% is 1%....just have to make your best call | relationship_advice | 5kffte |
i've been in psychotherapy for about 6 months. it's been helpful, but there have been a couple of therapies that i have been skeptical of. the first one is internal family systems. when i'm having issues with rumination he'll say there are different parts of me and that i should have conversations with the different parts of me. so i'll have these conversations with myself as these "different parts" of me. the second is he's into sufism. sometimes he'll have me close my eyes and he'll say a prayer that's in arabic (were both white americans). he's also an enneagram enthusiast. i got the chance to ask another psychologist if that stuff was normal when i was getting an assessment done. he just responded saying that most psychotherapists take a eclectic approach and that those therapies, although strange, are probably harmless. | are these normal practices during psychotherapy? | 61n8fd | let's just say that i wouldn't expect a psychotherapist in the uk to practice like this... | mentalhealth | 61n8fd |
ok, quick rundown. i am an 18 year old female with really bad anxiety. i've been having what i think is severe globus sensation. it started after some incredibly bad dry mouth from meds i am taking for the anxiety. however, i am afraid that my throat might be closing up. is it possible? | bad globus sensation. should i see a doctor? | 6rwn1n | still alive? as you probably know, it's your anxiety doing this. what dose of mirtazapine are you on at the moment? ever tried to learn some cbt techniques for anxiety (www.llttf.com)? | askdocs | 6rwn1n |
i know that aa has helped millions and will continue to help millions more but there are other ways to stay sober without aa. i found reading to be a great comfort. i was able to lose myself in a book for hours on end. i was able to deal with the day knowing at night it was going to be escaping into a novel. i also connected to a few songs that were very powerful for me. that smell, aint no grave, i was wrong, fight the good fight, dogs, coming back to life, in the long run, just to name a few. i would memorize these lyrics so i could recall whenever i needed to hear them. when i started reading again i really connected to the count of monte cristo. i had a trauma happen to me and all at the time all i could think about was revenge. this book helped me deal with revenge as i read about edmond's life. crime and punishment was another book that helped me. i liked how it dealt with morals but i won't say anymore incase anyone is going to read it. i hope this has helped anyone who doesn't like aa as well as those who attend aa. d | aa is not the only way. | uyny8 | >in the long run one of my favorite lyrics/pieces of wisdom ever is from "already gone," also by the eagles: well i know it wasn't you who held me down heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key | stopdrinking | uyny8 |
hey guys. currently on the sober train after many failed attempts. got to thinking about this the other day: i’d describe myself, probably along with many others, as having been a “functional” stoner. graduated early with several internships and decent grades. been employed and doing pretty well at work since i left college. fairly regular exercise routine and social life etc. all this is pretty good for a daily user, yeah? i used to pride myself on being a functional stoner. but the other day, i just thought...is that really all i aspire to, all i want to be in this life? “functional”? why not: successful, accomplished, passionate, loving, driven, excited, vibrant, etc? why just stop at getting by or doing “pretty well” all things considered? if this is how i’ve managed with daily weed use, i can only imagine where i’d be without it. but it’s never too late, so here’s to a fresh start. | random thought on being a “functional” stoner | hmwi18 | excellent thought. thank you for sharing. | leaves | hmwi18 |
you all know it. human progress is due to antisocial risk taking behavior. first you may think, oh my god that is so wrong. but why is it that all american presidents for the last 200 years except for 2 has had psychopathic traits? for normal people, feelings get in the way of progress. i inherently believe empathy is a weakness, so in other words : we need less emotions not more. if we want to progress and evole our species that is. other might argue that cluster b personalities hurt other people. but alas, cluster b personalities only target people with too many emotions that can be manipulated. which backs up my claim that emotions is weakness. if you are devoid of emotions no cluster b personalities will prey on you. i have met many people with antisocial personality disorder in my life but they do not prey on me. the answer as to "why" is obvious. because there is no emotions to prey/manipulate on. | narcissists and psychopaths is what makes the world progress | 4a1fi8 | >but why is it that all american presidents for the last 200 years except for 2 has had psychopathic traits? that requires some evidence. >human progress is due to antisocial risk taking behavior is risk taking inherently "antisocial?" that being said, it is somewhat inaccurate to conflate antisocial traits with antisocial personality disorder (or narcissism or psychopathy). >but alas, cluster b personalities only target people with too many emotions that can be manipulated that seems like a pretty big overgeneralization. borderline and histrionic personality disorders are fairly driven by the individual's pain and warped image. antisocial pd is such a diffuse category that it captures a wide range of individuals; it should not be conflated with psychopathy. like it or not, emotions are a large part of human experience- including optimal human experience. emotions are involved in learning and even are a component of helping our brain make decisions. | mentalhealth | 4a1fi8 |
sorry this is long. hoping that maybe someone can share their experience. my main question is if anyone has had a hysterectomy and kept their ovaries. since a lot of us do not ovulate and have low progesterone would you have to take progesterone still to lower your chances of other problems like breast cancer. here is my back story from events recently and thanks to those that respond in advance. i am 40 years old with no children. was diagnosed with pcos about 10 years ago. i recently went to the doctor with heavy periods and spotting after sex. i wasn't on progesterone because i thought my periods had regulated somewhat (every 32 to 25 days) had a vaginal ultrasound done that showed for the first time ever no cysts on my ovaries. my lining however was 12mm. when i talked to the doctor he wanted to do a endometrial biopsy and when he went in to do it found a large polyp in my uterus. he barely touched it and it started bleeding. he thought that was the cause of my spotting and heavy bleeding. they were to call and schedule me for a d&c and polyp removal a couple weeks out. the day they scheduled me, later i got another call that the biopsy came in and the doctor wanted me to come in to go over the test results. he told me that it came back complex with atepia, he said since it's precancerous and it was a small sample that there is no guarantee that cancer isn't already present in my uterus. he gave me 2 options. a hysterectomy or a referral to an oncologist gynecologist because he would not feel comfortable treating me with that high of levels of progesterone. i know we are all at a higher risk of cancers but this has all happened so fast and it was a shock. me and my husband have been doing a lot of research and after seeing statistics of those that chose to treat and those that had a hysterectomy, i am choosing the hysterectomy, which scares the crap out of me. if anyone has any similar experience they would like to share i am all ears! | biopsy came back and i need a hysterectomy. wondering if anyone else with pcos that's had one could share their experience. | 9gevr0 | no similar experience but wishing you all the best. ❤️ | pcos | 9gevr0 |
i have trouble falling asleep because my mind is racing super fast and even when it's not and i've taken my anxiety meds (which usually calm me down quite a bit) *and* melatonin, every little thing distracts me. the other night my roommate was eating carrots in the living room and i could hear it and i had to text her and ask if she could move to her room. i felt so bad but every time i was about to slip off into sleep her biting into another carrot would wake me back up. | trouble falling asleep | ao4xwb | i've never slept so well in my life since i started taking adderall, so long as i don't take a dose after say 2:00pm, then i'll be up until the early morning, but still sleep like a baby once i actually get tired. what's always been helpful for me is either having the television on. usually re-runs of something i've seen so many times i don't care to stay up to watch it or really pay attention, just something to focus on just enough that i don't pay attention to my anxious thoughts. some good headphones and either music or podcasts can be your best friends too. my friend turned me on to the low-fi hip hop beats playlist on spotify. not even a big hip-hop fan by any means but this helps me sleep. | adhd | ao4xwb |
i resent my counselor. i feel like i really opened up to her and she didn't give me any feedback really. i did 12 sessions with her and talked with her about many facets of life. she really helped me the first like 8 sessions. she began to disregard stuff i was saying and i sort of fell apart in my life at that time. ever since then the sessions didn't go anywhere. i felt like she didn't give me any advice or feedback. she ended by asking a question that really angered me because i felt she was being patronizing by asking it. i didn't feel like going back after that. i just feel like i shared a lot about myself. more so then i ever did with anyone. it doesn't feel like it was worth it. i feel like i would be better off having never done it. to think there is a permanent file on my record about everything i told her that some important person can later look on and pity me, infuriates me. i knew my life wasn't all it could be but some of her reactions to the things i was telling her makes me think my life is pathetic compared to other...normal people. she gave me the feeling that i'm just a sad person and she said i don't look happy. all these things just piss me off. i know this is vague. anything helps. thanks all. | resent counselling | gypu1b | fwiw, regardless of whether i was sticking with my therapist or trying a new one, in your shoes, i would make sure to tell my therapist that one of my main goals is to receive feedback and specific advice/strategies to use. lots of therapists do not operate that way, so it's helpful to make those expectations clear. | askatherapist | gypu1b |
my anxiety tends to center around my stomach. i have emetephobia in addition to a general anxiety disorder, so it's not unusual for me to have nausea or weird stomach cramps that are just anxiety. however, i've been insanely bloated for six months now, having a lot of pain in my lower stomach (nothing stabbing or throbbing, just achy pain, kinda similar to period cramps or how you'd feel after an intense ab workout), and am more nauseous/quick to heartburn than usual. there are some other symptoms as well, and i finally made a doctor's appointment, but it just got me wondering... i've been avoiding this for six months because, well, it's probably just my anxiety, right? my fiance ended up getting mad and made me make an appointment because he'd rather me be safe than sorry. and i agree with him. i was just wondering if anyone else experiences this? i know avoiding doctors because of anxiety is common, but i'm not scared of the doctor. i just don't want to waste anyone's time and tend to assume all of my symptoms can be tied back to my anxiety. anyone else? **tl;dr - i don't avoid doctors due to fear of the doctor or office, i avoid them because i tend to assume everything wrong with me is due to anxiety. anyone else do this?** | does anyone else avoid doctors, not because of fear of going, but because you think all of your symptoms are actually just anxiety-related? | hl8jje | you're freaking me out because i could have written this entire post (except the person getting upset with me for not going to the doctor is my boyfriend). yeah, that's how i feel to a tee. i figure everything links back to my anxiety and i'll just be using up the doctor's time and my money to find nothing helpful, then i'll feel stupid. | anxiety | hl8jje |
i'm an introverted by nature. and i hate small talks to my core. just don't know how they work or what to get from it. i want to socialize more, meet new people, make new friends, i do have a job but i'm also opening a business now where small talks are very important. how do i deal with this situation...? please help. i tried to have conversations with someone in my way but the person got angry and started swearing me. the other one was having small talk i didn't get much still. bad experience. | i just can't stand small talks. how do i socialize...? | hrrjlx | so, some tips about talking to people from a fellow introvert. this doesn't always come naturally so it's a good skill to practice and like any skill, it gets better the more you try. first, know that not everybody will want to talk or have a long drawn out conversation with you, especially strangers. this is fine. learn to become comfortable with not talking to everyone, its okay to be on the quieter side. sometimes you'll also start a conversation and it doesn't really go anywhere. this is normal too, don't get discouraged. not every conversation will be a "productive" one in terms of forming a relationship with that person. it's a bit like fishing, sometimes you won't catch anything, sometimes you'll just get a small conversation, and rarely you'll get a big one that you'll keep talking about. also, don't force yourself to keep talking to someone who doesn't wanna talk to you - watch their body language to see if they're interested. second, most people like to talk about themselves (up to a point). this is especially true for things they're interested in. ask questions about them and really listen and respond to their answers. don't grill them with a lot of questions, and don't get overly personal, just be genuinely curious and show interest in what they're saying. share your own experiences if they're relevant, but otherwise do a lot of listening to their experiences. third, find common ground. i think the best way that i become friendlier with someone is having a shared purpose or activity or topic we can talk about, so when i'm thinking of that topic i'll go "oh this made me think of you" or "oh what do you think of this". sometimes this is a shared hobby, sometimes it's something as simple as a funny inside joke. i like meeting people in settings where we're both doing something at the same time (playing games maybe, or maybe they're a classmate or coworker, or maybe we're both at the same event), so that way we can talk about what's currently happening in that moment and there's more to "do" than just chat about ourselves. | advice | hrrjlx |
ok. so, i am a junior in high school. i recently developed a crush on this stunningly amazing looking girl, (who precarious to this situation is actually quite outgoing on social media, which i of course read and find that she's pretty amazing) but there's one problem. she's the most shy, quiet, socially anxious person on the planet. i've only heard her speak on 3 occasions in the past year. she sits alone during breaks and when there's a social event, she sorta just stands next to a group of people listening and looking around. my question is, how do i approach her, and how do i get to a point where she feels comfortable enough to at least reply with one word answers to questions i have, or even better, to the point where i can ask her out with a fighting chance? edit: i made this account a long time ago, so don't let my name make you think i'm some troll or that i'm immature. i was when i made this account, but i've realized what an idiot i was a while back. edit: if this info makes any difference, she admits she is an introvert and that she's very shy on social media all the time. edit: sorry, more background info. i've "known" her since elementary, but i've never really talked to her. like at all. she knows of me, and we have a class together (band), she doesn't have any close friends, i know many of her interests. thought i should include all that in case that makes a difference in advice. | how to approach the biggest introvert on earth? | 5px59f | you're describing shyness and possibly anxiety. no way of knowing if she's an introvert. just chat, go slow... if she's receptive a bunch of times, ask her for coffee. | relationship_advice | 5px59f |
age: 21 sex: male weight: 41 kg height: 5'8" i'm 20kg underweight. never been to a doc, always thought it was normal until a few years ago. tried to gain weight myself but lacked the discipline to stuff myself with so much food everyday, so it never worked out. finally decided to consult with a dietician. she gave me a whole diet program and everything, and i'm going to be following it until i gain the first 10kg. in that program, i have to take vitamin d3 (indrop d oral ampoule) once every week for 4 weeks. one ampoule consists of 200,000 iu. it sounds way too much to me since on the label and online it says to take about once every 6 months in the winter and the recommended vit d daily is anywhere from 400 - 4000 iu online. also somewhere i was reading that it's easy to od on taking vitamin d orally without feeling side-effects instantly. i won't see her until next week, so i was wondering if she's given me the correct amount according to my weight or maybe she meant something else. will be thankful for any help from the cool docs around here. side note: i've also been given other supplements and vitamins (and some homeopathic and herbal medicines), but they seem to be alright. she says to take 2 tablets of biotin / day instead of one which is the recommended. however, that doesn't seem too crazy so i'm not worried about it. just a bit concerned how my body will react with such a sudden change in nutrition. | dietician prescribed me way too much vitamin d3? | bkvqds | that is a bizarre dosage. a typical dose for someone with vitamin d deficiency would be 50,000u weekly for 4-8 weeks, then switching to 1000-2000u daily. | askdocs | bkvqds |
hey guys, honestly i don't really know where to start - this is my first time posting here and i don't know what to expect out of this. but i'll start with a little backstory: i started having feelings for this girl about 3 years ago when we were working together - she was 17, i was 19. i told her how i felt, and she basically said she'd rather be friends (i was also with someone at the time). we continued to work together, and became best friends about a year later. i stopped thinking of her as someone i really liked, and more as my best friend. this summer while at a staff gathering she pulled my aside and told me that she liked me back then when i told her i did - but she wasn't ready. one thing led to another and i fell for her.... hard. we began a committed relationship july 27, and i couldn't have been happier. we had tons of time to hang out, and everything was fantastic. i was with the love of my life. school started and we were both super busy. she was stressed, and was new to relationships (this is/was her first one) i was understanding (to my knowledge) but she linked her stress with our relationship. she called me one morning and told me basically that she would rather hang out with her friends and make time for them, than me.. and that she just didn't want to have a boyfriend. i told her to take her time and think, and we talked later that day. she said she was being unreasonable and still loved me - and couldn't imagine being without me. she said she wouldn't do that again to me - and that she wouldn't be saying it if she didn't want to be with me for long term. things were again great for about a month leading into today. she had been acting a bit distant - no more i love you's, so i asked her if everything was alright. she said no - and she wanted to think about things (same thing as before). i called her, trying to figure out what was wrong and she said that her lifestyle just wasn't meant for a boyfriend, and that she doesn't think it's what she wants. the only thing that is making her not want to end it is the pain she'd cause me and the loss of her best friend. the way i interpreted that is basically that she doesn't think that i'm worth making the effort of being in a relationship for anymore. and i understand that.. it's just her wording. because she said she was still happy with me and everything that's going on. so i'm confused. she is also going away to her friends university this weekend - and as much as i doubt she's doing this to have "freedom" while she's away it is in the back of my mind. basically - i'm coming here almost knowing that i'm losing the love of my life and my best friend. all i'm looking for is the proper approach to the situation, and anything i should bring up when we finally talk. i don't want to keep her in something she doesn't want, nor something she isn't going to be happy with. **tl;dr**: girlfriend said that she doesn't want a boyfriend - and is stressed about our relationship for the second time as much as she is happy in it. this is her first relationship. looking for advice/an approach to take when we talk. | [22/m]unstable relationship | 77n0j0 | she doesn't want to have a boyfriend but she enjoys spending time with you. you have to accept it for what it is, or not. | relationship_advice | 77n0j0 |
i want to preface this by saying that my boyfriend is a wonderful man. i love him and absolutely want to live out my life with him. he needs help. he began therapy not too long ago and i really thought his rage would have been a topic by now, but it hasn't. he is extremely non-confrontational and fairly quiet. he does not express his anger on a regular basis so when it does come out it is explosive. the biggest issue is that he does not feel there is any value in working it out in therapy because his rage is valid (the people he hates are scum/they should be hated) and that his feelings will not change. however, he has gone as far as punching a hole in the wall which is unacceptable. any advice on how to address this with him? i would love to hear advice from people with anger problems and how therapy helped you. | how can i get my boyfriend to address his anger problem? | 6qbsey | has he ever made you afraid due to his anger? | mentalhealth | 6qbsey |
hey guys and gals. i need help and i know i do. the downside is i live with my family and since suicidal intention is a mandatory 72 hour hold there's no way i can hide it from them. so how do i tell them? | how do you tell your family? | 510o4b | i get it i think, you are asking how you can open up and be honest with your family that you are going to get help? also, is this voluntary or involuntary? let me give you some tips: 1. there's generally a difference between involuntary and voluntary admission into a facility. in my state, involuntary is 72 hrs (as in, you don't want to go and are refusing) given certain criteria. a voluntary admission has different criteria and has a different time span. it doesn't have to be 72 hours, and sometimes it can be more, if they feel like they can get you some good help. 2. telling a family is always very difficult, especially if you are a minor. from my experience, i always suggest an open, up front conversation where you simply say "i'm feeling really down and i'm not sure i can guarantee my safety. i want to go to a place where i will be safe to get through this." they will ask questions, but you will have time to respond to them. don't overwhelm yourself because they may feel overwhelmed and pressure you with questions. 3. support organizations are amazing and help loads of people and their families. nami is a great one, especially for families. | suicidewatch | 510o4b |
i have been dating my current gf for over five years. we live together. there has been three or so times in our relationship when she has seen messages that i have sent to other girls that were deemed "inappropriate" or "flirting." not like sending naked pictures, but making sexual type jokes, for example. in the past i had promised to stop, but i suppose my nature is very "open" and i could be said to have little filter on things that i say, especially when (in my mind) i'm simply joking. i have never cheated on my gf, nor do i have any intentions on physical contact with another woman when making those inappropriate comments. however, i understand how this habit of mine has caused my gf to lose a lot of trust in me, and now we are on the verge of splitting up because of it. i do care for my gf very much, and i have taken what i believe to be steps to avoid this in the future - deleting phone numbers, deleting my facebook account, etc. i want to be a better partner, one that she can trust. she has said that she won't make a decision on our future until i can answer her one question: "why?" i have struggled greatly to answer this. i feel that i genuinely don't know why i say inappropriate things. i have scheduled an appointment with a counselor, but as that's not until the middle of next week, i have come here for any advice. if i have already screwed up enough to ruin the relationship, i understand, but regardless i want to know what might cause somebody to struggle to resist the urge to be "inappropriate." | [28/m] dating my gf [27/f] for over five years. i have a habit of flirting/making inappropriate comments to other girls and it has caused serious issues in our relationship. | 5ql3a2 | who deemed what inappropriate?? please be specific. thanks. | relationship_advice | 5ql3a2 |
what can i do....in regards to this relationship. # my brother consistently looks at me like he hates me. we both live at home, i am generally the nicer one. he is very anti social, no friends, and has seemed unhappy depressed and angry most of his life. i can relate to the antisocial no real relationships bit, but i guess i act more cordial than he does. i can hold my own and be extroverted if i need to be. but like just a few minutes ago i pass him in this house, he is two years older btw, and i mention something to him....just an antidote about my workday last week and meeting a radio dj we both used to listen to. i first asked him a question about how his school was going, then after started to tell him the story. he looks at me like i am scum of the universe. like he freaking hates me. but then sort of begrudgingly sort of gives me , "oh cool"...."ha". and then proceeds to not talk further. he talks very monotone and just has this shit look on his face if you try and engage him in anyway. some background...he was my bully growing up. abusive type older brother, he was always picking fights, and often just totally abusive and cruel. we eventually grew up but he still seems to be an asshole. and he is that way toward everyone it seems. i dont talk to him or engage nearly as much as i would normally to someone i live with. because he is this way....i often will not talk and just walk by. but it gets really trying and annoying. he has once or twice brought of his personality and said 'he knows he is antisocial at times, but its not personal.' maybe not....or maybe he just acts this way toward everyone so its indeed not specific or personal to one person but all people! i kind of dont buy the not personal.....like he is saying, its just neutral. anyway....anyone ever known or lived with this.. any advice. | my brother consistently looks at me like he hates me. | c4f9ps | my best guess (and it is just a guess, as i don’t know your brother and haven’t assessed him) is that he may dealing with some issues and/or mental health symptoms that you aren’t aware of. while some degree of social withdrawal/general assholery is to be expected in teenagers, it does seem like his behavior is on the more extreme end of that spectrum. teenage boys in particular often outwardly express any kind of distress as anger, as our society doesn’t teach boys that it’s ok to feel sad or scared or some other type of “weak” emotion. we could make a million guesses at what’s happening in his life that has led to his angry and antisocial behavior, but frankly it isn’t your job to figure it out. you aren’t responsible for his emotional well-being - that is for him and your parents to manage. and i get that it isn’t something you can realistically ignore or avoid all the time, since you live in the same house. have you ever talked to your parents about how he treats you, and how it makes you feel/the impact it is having on you? they need to hear that, and maybe need to hear it again if you’ve brought it up in the past. you might also think about asking them to get you in with a therapist for yourself. it can be really good to have someone to talk to who isn’t involved in the situation, and who’s focus is entirely on providing you with support. it couldn’t hurt to try! i hope things get easier for you. | askatherapist | c4f9ps |
hey /r/leaves, i don't really post on here often. i've been working in my sobriety primarily on my own, which has not only been lonely, but seems to also be getting shaky. i'm getting cravings and those thoughts of "why not?" i'll have the thoughts and know the reasons why i shouldn't smoke but still feel really down. i've just been sad lately, sadder than usual. i'm sober for four months on saturday and i'm not sure if anxiety about that has anything to do with it. i have some stuff going on, i volunteer with kids and go to school and do poetry biz, but i feel kind of empty at the moment. i'm not sure why i'm posting, maybe this is more of a journal i should be keeping. it's nice that this community exists on reddit, somewhere hiding beneath the dankmemes. i open the sub and i get inspired. thanks for being here, /r/leaves, even if i'm not always posting here. i'll be sober for four months on saturday. i'm going to go to an ma meeting friday. i'm going to make a delicious steak before that. i guess, things feel so regimented in my sobriety that i don't know exactly what fun is anymore, or just in this past week. i'm not sure where this ramble is going, i need to get it out and share it. i worry about myself like i think a lot of people in sobriety might. i'm looking for a higher power to confide in but i need to be going to meetings. that word, "need," has been fucking me up, also just reading the news. it's important to care, but i care too much or not enough, don't do enough, want to be protesting more, want to be in the world more but don't know how. i don't mean i'm one who hates going out, though i do spend so much time playing video games. i hike and go to readings and play music but i just don't know where protests are. if anyone has any info on protests in the denver area, i would really appreciate it. again, thanks for being here /r/leaves. what in the world did i just write? | feeling defunct days before my four month | 53xkkn | it's normal to get "itchy" around birthdays. hang in there. glad to hear you are going to a meeting, we can do together what we cannot do alone. | leaves | 53xkkn |
hello, i am currently in my first year of my mhc masters program and am beginning my practicum this semester. my girlfriend and i were talking about the hours i'd work in the future since my site closes decently late (8:00) on weekdays and if that is to be expected going forward. i had assumed as much as i imagine most people cant leave work to go to therapy, but then i realized i wasn't really sure. so my question to you all is: what hours do you work generally through the week? i imagine it is different if you are in private practice vs hospital vs community settings, but i also know that it is probably difficult to get a full client schedule working 9-5 during the week. do you work full days on saturday generally? and if you work late-ish nights and/or saturdays, how do you balance that with family time? thanks in advance | weekly work schedule? | asvxri | i work in substance abuse outpatient at clinic. i get to choose my own hours, and choose to work 3 evenings 12-8 give or take, and thursday and fridays i do 8-2 or 11-3. i my coworker only does days, takes tuesday’s off, and works saturdays. i used to work saturdays but stopped because i wanted my weekends for myself, friends, family | askatherapist | asvxri |
by "feel," i mean the way anxiety is affecting your perception of reality and your surroundings in general. for instance, it takes a tremendous amount of focus and energy for me to even momentarily feel connected to my surroundings. i'll suddenly realize that there are trees surrounding me, beautiful clouds in the sky, the warmth of the sun. because of this, i think i have anxiety to blame for this "zoned-out" feeling that i experience daily. i am asking for everyone else's feelings that they experience day-today, be it a face-value feeling like "i feel like i think too fast," or "my nervous tics cause me to lose my mind on a daily basis." the more detail, the better, however much any of you are willing to share! | how does anxiety make you feel, aside from what you would call your "natural" disposition? | uja8n | i'm on medication so i can't answer about how i currently feel with my anxiety but when my anxiety was at it's highest, i would say that i felt everything was falling apart/the world was going to end at all times. | anxiety | uja8n |
i am an 18y/o with some vastly different things going on. i have a sober date, five separate misdemeanors, and have experimented with coke,shrooms, and prescription opiates but mostly just smoked a ton of weed and drank almost every night, which went from a partying to be cool type of thing to a dependency. on the other hand, i just graduated with a 90% average for all four years, and have a division 1 athletic scholarship to play in college next year. after my fifth misdemeanor (minor in possession of alcohol), which occurred a little over 2 months ago, i have decided to stop putting getting fucked up, which i have done successfully since march 29. to do so, i have had to isolate myself from all of my friends --- literally all of them. i do not know anyone who doesn't at the least go to parties, and for the past two months, i have thrown myself head first into a loneliness fueled depression. i do not know what to think of myself, as i am without the vices i once had. i used to drown out these feelings with drugs, but i refuse to be that weak this time. since i just graduated high school, it is hard to find people who i can build genuine friendships with -- as most people are going their separate ways and are ending friendships rather than beginning them. i just want some advice from people the have gone through the loneliness/cutting ties stage of getting clean. i know i am young, and this is what worries me the most. i am going to college and know that i will not always stay away from alcohol, but i want to do the legal thing from now on (no drugs and no drinking until 21), in fear of permanently screwing up my future. i am fortunate that the "mr.hyde" portion of my life has not interrupted the "dr.jeckyll" portion yet. i am determined and think i can make it, but some support would be cool. this is my first reddit post ever...so please, be gentle haha. | ncaa d1 commit with a recent sober date (18 y/o) | 27rgrn | as a guy who had a d1 commitment broken by the wreckage of addiction i can tell you there's not a day when i don't miss playing the sport i love at a competitive level. however, getting sober at 17, i had to recognize the importance of sobriety in comparison to the importance of sport. i think it's worth taking an honest look at yourself in regards to addiction, because if we know anything in recovery it is that we get worse never better, even with a substantial amount of clean time. as for the isolation, go to a meeting, get a sponsor, get a home group. it may be strange, but at 18 years old i was hanging out with 40 year old dudes and having an absolute blast. being afflicted with addiction at an early age and finding recovery forces us to grow up a little bit and get outside of the normal comfort zone of an 18 year old kid. i'm sorry that you're feeling the way you feel, and i empathize with that greatly. however, for me nothing changed until i made a change and started working the twelve steps with a sponsor as well as going to meetings. i live a life today that is absolutely incredible and i don't have to worry about a drink or a drug, and more importantly i don't need a drink or a drug to be myself and have a good time. i wish you the best of luck. | redditorsinrecovery | 27rgrn |
my dad seems to always berate me because we don't share the same taste when it comes to drinking alcohol for example (it's not only alcohol). so this morning we were on the car with my brother (who loves to drink) and they were talking about a family member who seems to have offered some wine at their place (idk, i wasnt really following). anyway, he starts saying well you know it'll be just us because your brother does not drink wine. (fyi i do drink, it's just that i dont make it a big deal out of it like he does). so it really made me feel bad, because he does that with everything. if you don't follow his footsteps then you're just not cool (at least it seems that way to me). and it really pisses me off, because who doesnt want to be accepted by your own dad! like, if you dont laugh at his jokes then you're a boring person or how he goes on about how he is so smart cause he remembered this or that. if you give your opinion on something, then he tries to outsmart (or downplays) you or tell you what should or shouldn't have done. the sad part is that when he is wrong, i just feel bad for him but i don't act the same way as when he thinks i'm wrong. it has gotten to the point where i have simply stopped talking to him at all, but i know that's not healthy. do you guys have any advices? | i'm [24/m] having problems with my [59/m] dad. | 5mscbd | if he's unpleasant to be around, then limit your contact as needed | relationship_advice | 5mscbd |
direct me to a different reddit if this isnt quite right. so yea im going out with a mate tonight and a girl ive kinda been keen on for a while is also going. its a good time to get talking to her etc. so the problem is im terrible at trying to get conversations going with girls and i last time a similar situation happend i kinda just didnt talk to her the whole night. i want to avoid this so im asking for any tips regarding conversation the more the better and also some tips at how to maybe approach this differently? am i over thinking it? ive heard framing is a good tactics? tl;dr: im blew the last chance to talk to a girl would need help on how to approach a second opportunity | need help with an chance with a girl | 8wh7ae | wow, i'm gonna simplify it for you. find a common interest, whether it's a certain tv show, type of music, sports, video games, hobbies. whatever. just figure out what you have in common and talk about it. it's as simple as that. you're definitely overthinking it. if you go in with all this other advice, whatever you're going to do is likely to appear scripted. that will make you look like a weirdo. so.... be natural, find a common interest. talk about that. if you can get out of your head and stop overthinking, you might actually have fun. if you have fun, it's more likely she'll have fun. at that point, it's not a long stretch to get her number so you can ask her on a date in the future. | socialskills | 8wh7ae |
is there a similar psychotropic to trazadone, but not a benzo (i develop quick tolerance to it)? i'm already on gabapentin, cymbalta, and welbutrin every day for anxiety. i use xanax or vallium for episodic, prolonged moderate to severe panic attacks. for several severe level anxiety disorders and also slight sleep aid (sometimes my wellbutrin causes insomnia). thank you. yes, under the care of doctors. | similar psychotropic to trazadone? | 5xi70a | what's your medication history (ie what have you tried before and ideally at what dose)? | askdocs | 5xi70a |
hey. so its not diagnosed but i think i have bipolar disorder. its bad. when i'm in a high state i'm really excitable and loud and just. maybe a little over-exuberent. when i'm down is even worse. i just can never stop crying. my mind will purposefully pull out everything i hate about myself and just repeat it over and over to the point that i'm emotionally abusing myself. the issue is is it leaks out and i end up emotionally abusing the girl i love. i feel like i'm letting her down, and i know she loves me i'm just scared of pushing her past her limit. i've never self harmed, but every time i'm down it i can't help but picture doin it and worse to myself. i really need help. | i need some help | 78ftoz | sounds more like emotionally unstable personality disorder. but you'll actually need to see someone if you really want an answer. | mentalhealth | 78ftoz |
lately i noticed a part of behaviour that is starting to become a problem. if a female (im a male) raises her voice or yells at me i will respond with aggressive anger. not to the point of violence but with highly aggressive speech. this happend with my girlfriend and my colleague that is 20 years older then myself (shes 56) today my girlfriend pointed this out to me and told me she get afraid of me in that situation. i dont want her to feel like that i need to try resolve this. i think if i want to do that i need to understand how i became this way in the first place, but i cant remember any specific event in my life that would trigger this pattern. can anyone relate to this problem or perhaps point me in a direction on how to understand my issue better? | anger triggered by yelling | g7c1ph | i have some ideas . (explanation at top, tools on bottom) first, in general, when treating anger , the way you got to this point does not matter as much as the underlying beliefs that justify the yelling . identifying these beliefs can help . for example a belief could be "if a person yells at me, i can yell back." or "if a woman raises her voice , i need to put her in her place. " perhaps something in your past led to this belief , but the belief is what keeps you stuck. the long-term solution is to get involved in a men's dv group ( yes, they cover verbal abuse, not just physical ). they can work with you to break down each party of how you got here and what needs to change. i have a very short-term suggestion. i know this is advice giving, but his is a common tactic that helps . 1. pay attention to your intensity . on a scale from 1-10, 1 is asleep on a beach , 10 is the most angry you have ever been . at what intensity do you yell at your partner? let's say you start to yell at intensity 7. then, you can take a time out at intensity 5-6. time out rules: announce it, make it about you, set a reasonable time limit, leave . use the time to lower intensity and make a plan ..return as planned. of course there is more to it, but that is the crash course free version! | askatherapist | g7c1ph |
i used to be in an intensive outpatient program until about eight months ago. at the time i closed, i began secretly dating one of my social workers from that place. we have kept it a closely guarded secret for obvious reasons. i am going to start seeing a new therapist in a private practice, and i’m wondering: if i told my new therapist about this relationship, would she keep it confidential? she works with my prescriber who still works in my past outpatient program part-time. i don’t want to risk my partner’s job by telling a therapist, so if there’s even a chance that my new therapist won’t keep it confidential i’ll just keep it to myself. | would a therapist keep this confidential? | eby6ae | if you're in the united states and the relationship didn't start when you were a minor (rules vary as to whether this would be reportable or not state by state if you're not currently a minor), then you are covered by hipaa and they would legally have to keep this confidential unless you've signed paperwork stating they can reveal information about your therapy to said person. as a therapist i'm worried for you and just hope you're not being taken advantage of. doing what your partner did is the number 1 reason therapists/social workers lose their license to practice and at times can face steep fines and possible jail time and there's a very good reason for that. | askatherapist | eby6ae |
i'm scared my partner is about to have a mental break again. since we've been together, this will be the 2nd or 3rd break she's had so i know what to look for. she's been talking to herself (she's saying she is talking out loud answering her own questions). she is thinking i am cheating on her (i'm not - nor would i). she is thinking i am going to lunch with people (again, i'm not). she is leary of our neighbors thinking they are sneaking into our house (they aren't). i'm at a loss as to what to do. she is on medication, and she needs to call her psychiatrist, but she won't. i honestly think she needs her meds adjusted, but i'm afraid she will get worse. the last time all this happened she had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital. the difference now is that she has a job, whereas before she didn't so she had plenty of time to think and dwell. i am nervous she will lose her job if her mental break gets too severe. i'm scared for my own mental health in trying to help her. i'm thinking of reaching out to her psychiatrist myself but not sure what she will do if anything. bottom line, i am worried this will turn into something worse. i know what to look for this time around though so that is good. i am worried i will lose my job if i have to leave work. have any of you dealt with this? if so, how did you get through it? i feel alone and that i have no one to discuss this issue with other than reddit. | i think my partner is about to have a mental break | dbhy7w | sounds like she is experiencing some level of delusion: still functional but you are noticing the signs. here are some tips: 1. did you get a release of information signed with her psychiatrist? if not, get that asap. otherwise you won't be able to call and talk with them. the psychiatrist may be able to convince her to come in for an appointment. 2. how has her sleep and eating fluctuated recently? a lot of times disturbed sleep can exacerbate symptoms of psychosis. 3. is she taking her medication as prescribed? not cheeking it or otherwise not using it? same general time each day? that will be important information for the psychiatrist. 4. do you know if she formulated a plan with the psychiatrist should her symptoms return? having that available to follow may convince her to seek out help. getting her in to see the psychiatrist for an evaluation would obviously be the best case scenario. if you feel like the symptoms escalate and she is becoming a threat to herself or others, getting law enforcement involved to assess and possibly take her back to the hospital may be the next best thing. | mentalhealth | dbhy7w |
hi i drove a sub compact car for a few days and did a few hours of solid driving. since then my tailbone is really sore. it bothers me mostly when im sitting and go to stand up it hurts. when im standing i dont feel anything and when im laying down i only feel it slightly. yesterday it started feeling better but this morning it came back. i also feel a little sick this morning so maybe i have aches and pains from a cold/flu making the tailbone pain worse. do you think i could have done serious damage to my coccyx. should i wait a few days? again the pain is only bad when im sitting and go to stand up, then it goes away. but i dont know if i should get it looked at now. thanks age 41 sex m height 6 ft weight 185 race caucasion duration of complaint a few days location (geographic and on body) tailbone, lower back any existing relevant medical issues (if any) no current medications (if any) none | tailbone coccyx pain after driving a car for a few days. | 5kyl0w | you'll survive. time is a great healer. also paracetamol/acetaminophen. | askdocs | 5kyl0w |
let me start by saying that i (35 f) am unable to discuss this with my husband (33 m) because he is very sensitive to this situation. so sensitive that he didn’t introduce me to his mother for a year and a half into dating. last week, my mil went away for the day and asked me to come over and let her dog out during the day. my hubby happened to be home for the day and and went with me. thank god he did. i have never seen so much stuff before in my life. not just stuff, but actual garbage. sure, i’ve been over there a few times in the 7 years we’ve been together, but it’s been a good 6 months and i feel after my last visit, she maybe tidied up a bit before hand as we have two very small kids. there was a walking path through the house and we had to step over animal feces and urine. our daughter is four and mentioned how much of a mess the house is and my husband immediately snapped at her. she mentioned a while back that she wanted to host xmas dinner at her house this year, i’m not really too sure what to do, first of all there are so many things for the little ones to get into, not to mention the health and safety aspect of the animal urine and feces all over the place. the odor is overwhelming. i don’t want to hurt her feelings and my husband would be very embarrassed and hurt if i mentioned anything to him about not wanting to go. honestly, i don’t feel like it’s the best environment for small children to be in and i can’t see how anyone else would. how do i begin to talk about this with my husband without offending anyone? | my mil is a hoarder and wants to have a holiday dinner at her house | 9isfsx | hoarding is an anxiety disorder and a good therapist can do wonders. your husband needs to help his mother seek help. some educational information about hoarding may help. do not take your children there! | relationship_advice | 9isfsx |
hello community, i'm seeking some insight into what my options are for working on my communication issues with my boyfriend. we have been together for a year. he is a teacher (dealing with burnout) and i am a therapist in training. it has come out recently that he has some mixed feelings about my profession. the main thing that seems to bother him is that i like to communicate about feelings. he doesn't like to share his feelings with me. he has been opening up more about his loving feelings. but when he is upset, frustrated or sad he totally shuts down. i pretty much share all of my feelings, so when i share when i am feeling anxious, sad or frustrated he also shuts down. it makes me feel very lonely and unsure if this relationship is going to work for me in the long-run. i love him. i love to travel and go on adventures with him. when things are good they are really good. but i have found that any mention on my part about things not being "goooood" sends him into a drawn out episode of silent brooding that i have no insight into-because he will not talk to me. the reason why breaking up hasn't come up is because when things are good, we openly talk about committing to each other long-term. but i must say that this communication issue is causing me to have some doubts. i have suggested that we seek some couples counseling and that seems to also cause him to go into one of his stonewalling fits. i don't think he has yet to give me a solid answer as to whether or not he would be open to going to a counselor with me. so what do ya'll think? should i give up and move on? is there something that i am missing here? hmmmmm.... small update: my boyfriend agreed a few days ago to be available to have a phone conversation about our communication dynamics on saturday (yesterday). he tried to pull some shit and told me over facebook that his phone was "missing." i called bs on that one and called him on facebook lol. he was shocked but he took the call. anyway, instead of bringing up what i was talking with him about earlier this week i explained to him some of the communication dynamics i was noticing between us and i asked him if he had any ideas for how to remedy them. he surprised me by suggesting that we arrange to have a weekly check-in. so right now we are going to make time every sunday afternoon to have a serious conversation about how our communication is going. i feel good about trying this out. i'll keep everyone updated about how it goes. thanks for your suggestions. | 28f with a 36m boyfriend who stonewalls me. i'm near my wits end with this crap. | 6ykoz6 | if you can afford it, find a gottman certified marriage therapist (obvs don't have to be married) | relationship_advice | 6ykoz6 |
- i have been married for 6 years. my wife worked hard when i was injured in the army. i still got paid during my rehabilitation so i continued to bring breed home. she supported me for 2-3 years. during that time though i didn't take the easy road. i also raised our son, who is 5 years old. i'm 29 now. we married at the age of 22 and 23. - lately we have been fighting a lot. she wants more kids, i don't want more kids. it has been really nasty. we have 2 dogs, 1 cat, and i am just feeling so suffocated. i feel like i'm maxed out. my wife says she has been waiting for 2-3 years where i have kept pushing it back. - i did an excel spreadsheet budget and on our current incomes we would retire at the age of 65, comfortably. i do not want to be working 6-7 days a week just to get financial independence early. am i being selfish ? - i tell my wife, i want financial stability. there is no rule saying you have to have kids before the age of 30. she is fixated on the age of 30-31 latest. she is pretty uneducated. as am i. i keep saying go and study and improve your wage so we can afford it. she gets defensive. goes on suggesting, why can't you work 6 days a week and extra hard? i respond by saying, frankly i don't want another child right now. in addition, i'm about 1/3 through a degree. - i have been wanting my wife to loose weight for years and just get on board the whole financial independence thing. but she just didn't listen. i'm sure i have faults too and i'm talking one sided here. nevertheless, the whole kid thing is draining my life. the cost of living isn't cheap where i live. housing is basically unaffordable unless you want to be heavily indebted. she does a lot for me. i love her. but i'm just getting so exhausted. | am i a bad husband ? | 5kd65l | this is complex; go to marriage counseling | relationship_advice | 5kd65l |
i was just thinking about how exhausting waiting for the election results for 5 days has been for everyone in the us, when many of us were expecting to get election results on election day. it's kind of like the us collectively got a taste of what adhd is like. my brain wants results from whatever it is i'm doing now, and when it takes longer, like maybe an hour, it's just so exhausting waiting to see the fruits of my labor. so, americans just got a taste of what adhders go through literally every hour. it's just continual exhaustion (apart from when we get lucky and hyper-focus). | americans collectively got a taste of what it's like with adhd | jq0np2 | i thought you were talking about the whole presidency. i’m thinking it’s not a coincidence that i got diagnosed during the trump administration. i could probably compensate for it before trump was living in my brain rent free. | adhd | jq0np2 |
i'm a 21 year old part time college student, and i've been lurking for awhile but never posted before. i've never been diagnosed with aspergers, but my previous 2 therapists (both psychiatrists, though i'm not currently taking any medications) have told me they think i have it. in middle school my psychiatrist said i had ocd and add, but never mentioned aspergers, which is why i'm somewhat skeptical of the current diagnosis (since it keeps changing), although i do have many of its symptoms (ritualized patterns of behaviors, sensitivity to certain fabrics, nosies, and temperature, social awkwardness etc.) and scored a 38 on the aq test. since i'm afraid of getting the wrong diagnosis again, i want to be 100% sure i have aspergers, so i've been looking into formal diagnosis options. i read the [faq for new readers](WEBLINK), and saw they recommend seeing a neuropsychologist (it specifically says not a psychiatrist --another reason i'm skeptical of my psychiatrists' diagnosis) that specializes in autism spectrum disorders, but unfortunately i can't find one that's covered under my insurance. i also saw on the [global and regional aspergers syndrome partnership's website](WEBLINK) they recommend getting tested through a research program if you don't have (decent) insurance. i'm considering getting one of the tests listed in the nyc area at the aforementioned website. what do you all think? will the tests i get there be as thorough as if i got them through a regular neuropsychologist? has anyone else been diagnosed through a similar program? how has everyone else received their diagnosis? thanks, and sorry for my poor writing skills | what does everyone think of diagnosis through research project? | uy14l | lol... sorry for the essay... here goes: tl;dr diagnosis is a complicated issue, and the purpose of your diagnosis might determine where you would want to get it. training clinics often provide very high quality care, and you should definitely try it if you don't have other options. ======================== i was not diagnosed through a research program, but i am an aspie who is currently studying psychology. i am assuming that by "research program" you mean a psychology training clinic, where doctorate students practice psychotherapy and testing, and conduct research, under the supervision of a ph.d. with several years, if not decades, of experience. this, as opposed to participation in a particular research study or non-academic autism institute. i would say there is reason to believe that a research program at a university would provide you a considerably more thorough analysis than an independent practitioner would. independent practitioners, while they have certain ethical guidelines they must follow, have quite a bit of liberty in how they approach testing and diagnosis. they could give you a battery of several tests with interviews to determine your diagnosis, or they could just chat with your for 50 minutes, and give you a verbal diagnosis after your first session. a training clinic, on the other hand, is not only bound by ethical guidelines, but by the policies of the university. students must answer to faculty. faculty must answer to administration. everyone in a training clinic has much more motivation to give you thorough consideration than most independent practitioners. that being said, a training clinic may be less inclined to give you an official statement saying that you have asperger's syndrome, simply because, although the treatment may be world class, the people treating you are doctorate students... not doctors. sometimes, especially if you request it, you may be lucky enough to meet with, or even be evaluated and treated by, one of the ph.d. supervisors. they may be more willing to give documentation of a diagnosis, or the university may have strict policies already in place about who can give such official statements, if anyone can at all. that being said, and contrary to popular belief, most professional psychologists and counselors don't actually like giving official diagnoses at all. it tends to make patients feel like they are trapped in their diagnosis, or defined by it. it can be counterproductive when actually treating certain issues and labeling groups of symptoms doesn't really change the reality of a problem. additionally, it can bite them in the ass if they misdiagnose someone and that person ends up hurting themselves or someone else later on. that being said, most indepent practitioners (but not training clinics) are bound to give you a diagnosis on your first visit. this is absolutely ridiculous, but it is how things work. insurance usually won't pay a dime to a practitioner until they write something valid in the diagnosis box of an insurance form. considering how slow insurance companies can be in paying practitioners, most of them don't want to delay payment further by putting no diagnosis or a vague one. some practitioners, however, will use the ol' "adjustment disorder" diagnosis, as it is considered a relatively short term, general, and vague disorder that doesn't carry with it as much stigma as say, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, or even asperger's. this frees the practitioner from a lot of the pitfalls of diagnosis and allows them to continue psychotherapy and treatment for symptoms, regardless of what the group of symptoms may be called. chances are, if you have been using insurance already, they have probably already put "asperger's" in the diagnosis box, which will stay with you for the rest of your life. that is about as official of a diagnosis as it gets. according to insurance companies, you may have add, ocd, and as at this point. other than on insurance claim documents, official, written diagnoses don't really exist accept for expressly called for purposes (like claiming disability, legal reasons (like a criminal defense), or requesting equal opportunity accommodations from your school or workplace). i, on the other hand, found an independent psychologist who specializes in asperger's disorder and hounded her for a very long time to write me an official letter declaring my asperger's diagnosis and summarizing the test results and symptoms that led her to make the diagnosis. that way, the insurance company isn't the only one who has a record of my diagnosis... tl;dr diagnosis is a complicated issue, and the purpose of your diagnosis might determine where you would want to get it. training clinics often provide very high quality care, and you should definitely try it if you don't have other options. | aspergers | uy14l |
was sober for almost 3 years after the first stint in rehab, then got cocky and distanced myself from aa, thought i would never drink again. one time away by myself on a business trip slowly became a year and a half struggle to stop back to square one to try and build the foundation up again for a clean start, and hopefully my last time in treatment, and a sustainable life in recovery thanks everyone | back in rehab, again. what the fuck | 5wrv39 | there's no way you are at square one. you have experience, motivation, knowledge of a better way and most of your final process figured out. patch the holes, full the gaps and develop a habit of self and supported inventory on a regular basis to check for future leaks. your clean time brought you back and will be a framework for the future; it just wasn't quite enough. you got this. | stopdrinking | 5wrv39 |
i'm going to start off by saying i don't have any of the "stereotypical" things normally associated with ocd (obsessive hand washing or the need to count everything) however, i do often feel that some of the most normal, day to day things, things will cause bad things to happen to me and those i care about...and it seems to be getting worse. one example is: i often feel that if i listen to certain music (sometimes entire bands) that bad things will happen. which band/songs i'm "allowed" to listen to changes from day to day and oftentimes the music can be positive/upbeat. another example is: i play world of warcraft, and with the coming expansion i'd like to play a tank character, but i suddenly feel like if i do, something bad will happen in my life (this one i think may be caused by me becoming rather sick shortly after deciding i want to play a tank and now i associate that with getting sick) a third example is: i always, always have to put my left shoe on first whenever i go anywhere. this first started a few years ago with the just the shoe thing, which i could deal with, but now i feel this has grown to having such a negative effect on my life and i'm just not sure where to go or how to get help...i don't really make much money so i can't afford too many psychiatrist visits and i'm not really sure if my health insurance through work covers it. i never have a clear feeling as to what the bad things that are going to happen are, and honestly i feel so sure that they will happen that i can't seem to force myself to just listen to the songs i want, or put on whichever shoe i happen to grab first, or anything like that. | does this sound like ocd? if not what should i consider looking into? | 4wemd7 | hello! it is illegal to give any sort of diagnosis online. if you would like to find an answer please see a doctor and or psychologist. if you can't really afford one, look to see if there are any community psychology clinics in your area. i know of one in my area that give therapy appointments for $2-55 depending on income, search if there are any similar in your area. best of luck! :) | mentalhealth | 4wemd7 |
thank you all for helping me achieve sobriety! i love you all. iwdwyt | in 7 minutes i will be 30 days sober! | d9w4n0 | congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉 that's a huge accomplishment. in therapist school we'd be told to normalize relapse at this point, but i'm actually just excited for you 😁 | stopdrinking | d9w4n0 |
i've been taking 100mg daily and my psychiatrist just told me to increase my dosage to 150mg. can it cause any side effects? i haven't had any serious side effects for 100mg except the weight gain but it might not be because of that bc my appetite hasn't changed at all and for some weird reason i've been gaining weight. so is 150mg a lot?? | is 150mg of sertraline a lot? | eza4ki | no, that's still within normal dose range. it can have side effects—any medication or change can potentially have side effects—but usually if you tolerate a lower dose well an increase doesn't cause sudden new problems. | askdocs | eza4ki |
i don't have a history of bad experiences with animals. i don't feel this way towards humans. animal cruelty or torture does not have the effect on me as it seems to have on other people. seeing a video of a person being murdered makes me upset, sad, horrified, and all that, but the same done to an animal provokes no special feeling. what gives? where should i go for answers? is this even a big deal? | quick question: i have no feelings for animals whatsoever, what might this mean? | 1t008v | i don't think i've ever seen videos of animal abuse, so i don't know how it would make me feel. i like animals and i've owned animals and treated them well, but i don't have nearly the compassion that most of reddit seems to have. i think that the most compassionate and "right" feelings are voted up by the majority, creating a false consensus effect on how people feel about animals. i see stuff like "i'd choose my dog over my boyfriend any day!" and just think "well that's weird." and i do think it's weird- i don't think it really represents the majority of the world. to most people, animals are animals. not people. i don't think anything is wrong with you. | advice | 1t008v |
21, male,5"10,indian, 3 days, no real medical history,methylprednisolone prescribed for sore/inflamed throat.i was prescribed the methylprednisolone 4mg 21 tablets pack over 6 days where you take 6 pills the first day then 5 the next and 4 and so on. im on the 2nd day of the course and i feel much better already, do i need to keep taking medicines and finish the course or can i stop taking it in the middle? | methylprednisolone 4mg | 89umxf | that seems like a hefty dose of steroids for a sore throat, but i'm not your doctor and don't know the reasoning. it's not dangerous to stop steroids suddenly after only a couple of days. (it *is* dangerous after about a week due to suppression of your body's natural corticosteroid production.) it might mean the problem that you started taking steroids for would come back because it hasn't had sufficient time to heal. if you can, call your doctor and ask this question. the worst thing to do is to not finish, have something go wrong, and then need more medical care from a doctor who's unhappy with you. | askdocs | 89umxf |
23/m spain so 3 months ago i got a job as an accountant on a big company because i finished my financial studies. i sent my resume to a lot of companies during 5 months but only one got real interest on me, one of the biggests on the list. it's a nice place, good salary and there are even some nice people. but i hate it, there is a shitload amount of work to do you guys cant even imagine. everyday is just a torture in the office, i have like 500 unfinished things right now and it doesnt matter how hard i work there is always more and more. oh and my boss is a #@~. i'm not the kind of person who can manage all this stress. why not just leave it? well, i'm spanish, i live on the country where there is a 50% of youth unemployement so it's a little bit frowned upon to quit your job if you're young. my dad got fired 1 year ago, and we need the money because we currently have 2 mortgages. my mother is really, really happy that i got this job in this big company. i love her but in the past i let her down so many times that quitting this job would cause a big dissapointment on her again, and i promised myself last year to not dissapoint her anymore. the first days i told everyone how good the job was (because i felt that way) but now i wish i could take those words back. atm everyone is still thinking that i love the job and everytime someone asks me about it i lie. and yeah, this is affecting me on a personal way. everyday i get off the work i'm not in the mood to do anything, like i don't go out with friends, i don't socialize anymore. i just want to rest so i can have some energy for the next day. i tell myself the next day is gonna be better but no, it never happens. i feel like i stumbled on a trap. edit: wow guys this blew up haha, thanks, thanks for the responses and the support, maybe this is just another step in my adult life. i'll try to stay some more time and if things doesnt improve at all then i'll start looking for other positions. i really needed to get this off my chest and wow, thanks for listening. edit2: alright i'm sorry i'm not responding everyone, it doesnt mean that i don't apreciatte your messages. i'm gonna have some good sleep as one of the posts recommended. gnight guys, thanks for all the help. | i hate my job but i can't quit | 4mt130 | keep your head up man. i'm there with you. i have a college degree, and had a good position in research after graduating, but the lab ran out of funding. i was searching for a job, but many places required me to get a car to travel. so the only position i could find is a busses position at a restaurant. 8-10 hour shifts of backbreaking work making minimum wage until i can get a car to use my degree. it sucks, but that's how adult life is. | offmychest | 4mt130 |
not sure if this is the right place to ask this or not, but here goes... medical: 34m, 5'9", 185 lbs. caucasian. only thing i take daily is levothyroxine for my hypothyroidism. i've been having issues where are snap at my wife and lose patience with my children too much. nothing physical and i'm not concerned in the least bit about it becoming that. its not rage or even close to it, just general irritability. its become a weekly/biweekly during the worse periods and obviously this is straining my relationship with my wife. its worsened over the past few years. i don't feel like i've lost my love for my wife or children at all. i still very much want to be around, and right now i'm terrified and i need to do something about it (wife mentioned separation today, and i completely broke down). i should mention that my father appears to have the same irritability as i do. i've noticed it with how he interacts with my mother and his grand children when they're not being 100% great. so, i have two questions. first, i have a terrible memory. its absolutely horrendous. this has been a fact of life for me as far back as i can remember. i remember next to nothing before high school except small bits and pieces. the same goes for high school to be honest. college days are also very blurry. i went to iraq and barely remember any of it. i can remember some important events though they are always very hazy. like the day i married my wife. my wife will tell me stories of her childhood and what she can remember and her memory is far, far better than anything i am capable of. this is a problem for my mother and her father. they also share my hypothyroidism. in addition to the memory problem, i have always had issues with procrastination. it was so bad during my college days that it cost me a four year degree, i still have problems, like making sure bills get paid on time. i'm easily distracted. there are too many days at work or on side projects where i find myself going to reddit, youtube, looking up random things on wikipedia, fortunately, the good days at work make up for the bad ones. i will start side projects and never finish them because i get bored and then distracted by things like video games. i can be fidgety, but it comes and goes. i find that i have trouble recalling what people say to me even 10 minutes later. for instance, i was part of a group interviewing a candidate at work. my coworkers didn't have issues recalling the interview, but i had a very hard time recalling what was said when we discussed afterwards with my manager (an hour or two later). there are times when i'm in a group meeting and someone will be talking to me, and i listen, but its almost like i'm not listening. sometimes its because my mind is wandering and other times its just like it goes in one ear and out the other. also, the irritability i mentioned earlier. i have an uncle, on my father's side, who has adult adhd. he takes medicine for it. however, i'm no where near as hyperactive as he is. so, i'm hesitant to say its that. i really have no idea. i mentioned the adult adhd today to my wife, but she came back and mentioned my ability to hyper focus on something i'm doing with programming (web developer by trade, self taught). and, to a point, she is right. i can be very focused for weeks on a project. however, i lose steam and become bored. every time. side projects never finished, or at work, losing focus / code quality loss (not a horrible quality loss, but to me its noticeable). question 2: should i be seeing my gp or should i start somewhere else? this irritability problem needs to get fixed, and i desperately want to try and find any answers. | question regarding irritability | 5lps1i | this doesn't sound like adhd, but it could be a number of things including depression. see a gp in the first instance and go from there. | askdocs | 5lps1i |
day 23 here and today i took possession of a bag of weed for my brother in law who lives with me and helps out on my farm. it is a thank you gift as he enjoys his smoke and it isn't a problem for him. i sat with him whilst he had a smoke, i could smell it, i could almost taste it .... and yet i'm ok. i can do this. i wasn't sure how it would be but it's ok ... i don't want to smoke weed anymore. the addict in me does but my voice is louder. i feel like today is a breakthrough. i've been tested and i've scored gold 😁 | can i hold a bag of weed and not use any of it? pass up a spliff doing the rounds? yes i can 😎 i believe i just leveled up. | b7bo3o | if you have a bunch of levels already it's a win. with less than a year of sober actions and risk catching, this sounds massively misguided and really scary. each person's sobriety is their own thing but this smells just like the addiction trying to convince you it's gone. relapse usually comes on the back of three conditions which means proximity/access alone is never the problem by itself. congratulations because each win is a win but this set off my spidey sense. | leaves | b7bo3o |
in his words he says he gets a 'buzz' from being around other girls, like a shot of adrenaline and that it can get overwhelming. he was out last night and then messaged and called me crying because he'd kissed some other girl. he tells me he doesn't want to lose me and that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone else, although he admitted to having frequent urges to be with other people. i am the first person he's been with sexually and i can understand that the whole being with only one person scares him thing because i used to feel the same way. it just bugs me how easily he can go kiss someone or whatever else without a second thought. i mean he let her grind on him, it was bloody obvious she was flirting with him and he claims to not to have thought anything of it at the time. we are also in a long distance relationship at the moment and he tells me that missing me also makes it harder for him to say no. i'm scared that this will start to become a frequent thing. i've never really been a jealous person but i'm slowly starting to become one and i don't like it. i can't trust him anymore. but i love him. | my boyfriend (m/19) has a really strong desire to be with other people and i (f/19) don't know what i should do. | 6rxxrs | if he doesn't want to be in a rel. there's nothing you can do. | relationship_advice | 6rxxrs |
have had relpax on hand for a long time for whenever a migraine coming on. was put on zoloft a couple of months ago, didn't realize these were contraindicated until after taking both this morning (migraine started while sleeping, first in months if not a year+). is this something that should have a wait and see approach for the serotonin syndrome with a trip to urgentcare if it happens, or is this bad enough to warrant waiting in the er anyways because problems are inevitable? also have lupus, so cellcept/plaquenil/etc are also involved, but none of those seem to have contraindications with relpax. | serotonin syndrome - how likely is it following zoloft/relpax combination? | 4xo8yp | as our esteemed pharmacists have said, serotonin syndrome is very unlikely. common things are common, and rare things are rare. its heen two months now so its looking pretty safe for you. | askdocs | 4xo8yp |
i am a 15 year old male living in the uk. i have repeatedly experienced a sort of light vibration in the upper left area of my head, above the hairline. while i have noticed it happen occasionally throughout the last few weeks, i always assumed that it was me feeling the blood pulse through my head. but yesterday i checked if it actually matches up with my neck pulse, and it's way faster. it doesn't happen all the time, usually when i am sitting down. i have not been diagnosed with depression although i do have mild autistic traits. i am getting paranoid that there is something else instead my head, like an insect lavae. i need an explanation. help! | what is this vibration on my head?! | 5j187v | i have no idea, but it doesn't sound sinister. will probably go away once you distract yourself from it. | askdocs | 5j187v |
wow. i can't believe the way this year is beginning for me so far, and i'm hoping many of you are thinking the same. there are some bad things going on, but they're a little more in the background. right now i can only focus on what's right in front of me... i do feel really bad about that. so, i'm asking you guys... do any of you have any resolutions, plans, hopes, desires for the new year? personal, social, political, global? just what will this year be? and make sure we talk about how we will manage to stay healthy this year. because we will. | happy new years!!! | abs6lp | my resolution is to attempt to understand what's happening with my mental health. also, to quit drinking. i've been sober before so i have coping mechanisms. as for the mental health, that is proving more difficult because doctors think i'm not manic enough to warrant mood stabilizers or referral. *sigh* | bipolarreddit | abs6lp |
i was reading that link that is stickied about why women with pcos have anxiety. and i noticed this part: "for the study, published today in the proceedings of the national academy of sciences, researchers exposed pregnant rats and their fetuses to testosterone, which mimics the effects of pcos in humans. as the researchers expected, these rats' offspring showed more anxious behavior — they were more reluctant to venture into the unprotected open arms of a maze — than those rats that hadn't gotten the testosterone treatment." only one comment mentions the testosterone exposure causing anxiety in the *offspring*. everyone else just talked about their own issues with anxiety and depression. i don't want the excess androgens in my body to negatively impact a child. and then there was the study about autism. these hormones can make people anxious and unstable, so it's obviously not ideal to have a baby swishing around in there for 9 months. it just doesn't seem worth it to me to possibly expose a fetus to hormones that might mess them up. if i have a daughter, she may very well have pcos. i wouldn't wish that on anyone. i just feel really weird about the whole pregnancy thing. i keep reading about fertility treatments, clomid, ivf. it seems so weird to force our bodies to reproduce. if i'm at a point where androgens are preventing me from ovulating or being fertile naturally, i don't think i should ignore that. my body is obviously saying something is going on that means i should not be someone's choice for birthing their children or carrying a fetus. like maybe, just maybe, this is not a good body to carry a baby! and then i think about, what if i lived in some more primitive or less advanced time, and all of my symptoms were obvious and untreatable. i'm covered in hair, have a beard, and am balding. my body is unfeminine. i am sending all kinds of signals to the opposite sex that i am not fertile, not attractive (it's tough--but i don't think anyone naturally favors a beard on a woman), and not healthy. if my body is sending these very obvious signals that i am not a healthy, fertile woman, maybe it's for a good reason. maybe i shouldn't be procreating and continuing this. i really feel alone in thinking this. it seems like everyone does whatever it takes to get pregnant. i've just been feeling so weird about it all. like humans seek out healthy, fertile humans to make babies with. pcos is not that. i know some people have very mild, weak pcos, and i think that's really different from being visually masculinized and anovulatory. if you have a few hairs here and there but still ovulate, i guess it's really different. | i don't really think we're supposed to have kids. everything seems to scream no | 3wyghm | yeah, i can totally see that from an evolutionary standpoint pcos basically means that for one reason or another, we (or the woman, or the patient, etc.) aren't "meant" to reproduce. this is not just the "200 years ago" argument, but it also reflects the fact that our bodies are [b]stressed[/b] in a way such that our reproductive function has been compromised... so if we are *this* stressed, maybe we aren't going to be as well-equipped to successfully raise healthy children. ... deal with the stress first, and then reproduce. that's partly why i'm looking into therapy and yoga and stuff :) | pcos | 3wyghm |
hey all, so i was prescribed 25 mg lamotrigine on monday, and so i've been on it for 4 days. my question - only 4 days, only 25 mg. am i ok to cold turkey this? | going off lamotrigine | 4yhcb9 | why were you prescribed this and why do you want to stop? | askdocs | 4yhcb9 |
**tl;dr: should i be upset that my close, non-adhd friends are abusing adderall as a study drug? looking for advice/shared experience/sanity check** hey everyone, first order of business: love/super grateful for this subreddit; long-time lurker, first-time poster, etc. now, i'm hoping you guys can help me think through this -- i've been really conflicted about it for a while, and i'm not sure how to feel or what to do, if anything. so, here's the situation: i'm currently a sophomore at a big, competitive/stressful college. two of my pretty good friends -- both of whom know i have adhd and have heard me talk about some of the difficulties of managing it while at school -- have recently been abusing adderall (not mine) in order to pull 12 hour study sessions pre-final exams. when i first found out about this, it made me really, really upset, but i found it very difficult to articulate exactly why. i'm using this post to kind of think out loud/work through my feelings about this in a space where i can get a sanity check/advice from people who have maybe dealt with something similar or at least understand where i'm coming from. so my feeling more broadly about stimulant abuse for an "academic edge" (which is incredibly common at my school, unfortunately) is that my medication gets me to a nt's productivity level unmedicated; why is it fair that they get to make the playing field uneven again? but also, these are **good** friends of mine. i've confided in them, they've confided in me; i think of them as good people, and as people that i can trust, and i feel like in doing this they've betrayed me in some way. i just feel like they should know better -- it's one thing if it's stupid frat boys that i don't know snorting adderall (still sucks, but what can you do), but these are my friends. i know saying it's a "betrayal" is pretty strong language, but i can't help but feel that in abusing the meds for something as (comparatively) trivial as being able to study for 12 hours instead of, like, 8, when i need my meds to basically hold every aspect of my life together somehow makes light of how difficult adhd can be. i also feel like when regular people use stimulants like this, they start to think that that is what adhd people use stimulants for, too -- like they might be the ones missing out on some advantage while people with adhd get a leg up. i think part of my frustration also comes from how complicated my relationship to my medication was/is. i struggled a huge amount with feeling like i was deficient in some way for being dependent on my medication; i would take "breaks" to try and prove to myself that i didn't need it and inevitably end up feeling like a failure; my first medication made me incredibly unhappy (so many panic attacks! no emotions!), etc -- i can't count the number of times i've wished that i didn't have to be on stimulants to live the life i want. so for them to just casually take adderall and be super productive without dealing with any of the shit surrounding the label of a diagnosis and the stigma of being medicated just really rubs me the wrong way, and makes me feel sad. i don't want them to think after doing adderall for a little bit that it's some magical pill that makes you into a productivity machine and fixes everything, because that's just so not true. also note: i'm no doctor but i know pretty much for sure that one of these friends does not have undiagnosed adhd; i've been to enough libraries with her/seen her work to be fairly certain. there is a possibility that my other friend could have undiagnosed adhd; i'm less angry at her, for obvious reasons, but still think that if she's struggling enough to start paying for illegal stimulants, she should go get a diagnosis (she has the means) i don't know, is it crazy to expect them to understand how hurtful this was? should i talk to them about it? (the more i think about it, i'm not actually sure that they would understand -- also, clearly whoever they got their adderall from doesn't give a shit about it, so maybe i am making too big a deal of it?) i don't know!! please help, am i overreacting? sorry for the length, any advice/input/stories/support would be really appreciated. | how to handle my non-adhd friends using stimulants (college) | a51p8t | “i just want you to know that, by abusing this medication, you make it more difficult for those who legitimately need it to access it.” | adhd | a51p8t |
i get so anxious thinking about the future because i feel i am held back to so many ways and could never be a professional. school is difficult for me but maybe picking the right career would help a lot. | what is your career? | 3kknwo | i am an outpatient therapist....go figure :p | anxiety | 3kknwo |
spent the night out drinking and dancing, people were smoking inside, but i didn't smoke. this is a major victory for me! i wanted to bum a smoke on more than one occasion throughout the night, but i didn't. i remembered how shit i felt when i caved during my previous quits, i never want to feel that again. i also figured out that you don't need cigarettes to have fun while out. i focussed my attention on the music, dancing and on conversation. i still need to get used to doing nothing with my mouth and hands besides drinking, though. | got drunk, had fun, didn't smoke | 6tenb2 | congrats! that's one of my hardest situations, too. drinking and cigarettes. must feel great to have overcome that! keep it up! | stopsmoking | 6tenb2 |
i've always been an advocate of therapy. if any of my friends or family were going through persistent hard times or sadness, i would recommend talking to a professional. i've only ever had good experiences, and i really thought it couldn't hurt. my stance on this has changed recently. i'm in the process of looking for a new therapist, and in my area it's hard to find one available after my work hours. i suffer from anxiety and depression, and i was looking for a person i could speak to in order to gain a more positive perspective - to not feel like i'm doomed for failure, to be more okay with not knowing or having control over everything, to be able to trust in myself and my abilities, and in my friends and loved ones, and to make the kind of changes i feel are long overdue... the strength to make that leap of faith and believe that things will work out in the end. maybe not quite that positive, but i wanted to not be crippled with panic over something i feel anxious about. during my evaluation, the person went through the plan i planned on carrying out in the near future, step by step, and went through all the negative, worst-case-scenario what-ifs. the person questioned every decision i planned. the person questioned a lot of decisions i made in the past, and also the way i live my life right now. all of these negative things are things i've thought about before, being that i am someone who struggles with anxiety and depression. what this person said made sense, but it added another negative voice in my head - one that's supposed to be unbiased and honest and offer me a grounding perspective. all of this took place in the span of 50 minutes. of course, there was more to the session than this. i'm sure whatever method was being used on me, might work for someone else, but it definitely didn't in my case. i thanked the person, and left the building, and had a panic attack (it's been some months since my last one). i just wanted to share my recent experience, as i noticed a lot of posters here wonder if they should see someone, or many commenters suggest therapy. i still would definitely recommend seeking professional help as an option for anyone who feels they might need it or even if they just want someone to talk to. but i also think it's worth mentioning that finding a good fit with a therapist is not easy. tldr: therapist employed tough-love (maybe?) and cut the anxious and depressed patient down by being a negative sound-board, and never brought the patient back up again. patient proceeded to become a panic-induced puddle of tears, and self medicated with taco bell. | terrible therapy session was a big eye-opener | 4h0wxd | it's always hard to hear this happening, as a counselor myself. unfortunately, just like any other profession, there are going to be duds (or worse) but with counseling, the impact is often greater. keep trying and don't hesitate to interview the therapist over the phone before meeting them!! | mentalhealth | 4h0wxd |
my wife and i have not had sex in almost 10 years. she refuses to touch me in any intimate way. she wants to live as friends. this drives me crazy and i'm made to feel i'm wrong. should i accept this? is this normal? should i stay? | 56/m sexless marriage | 6ouumx | 1-have her see her gyn. sometimes tiny amounts of testosterone works great. 2-marriage counseling 3 if none of above work, talk about you seeing others | relationship_advice | 6ouumx |
i'm actually a bit worried about this. sometimes it irritates me so much just the sound of people talking. i just want to scream: "shut up!" even when they're trying to have a conversation with me. don't get me wrong, i can listen to music all day long and i enjoy it, i can stand the sound of cars passing by, i can even stand dogs barking, the sounds of birds, of the rain, i love sound, but when people talk, not all the time, but many, it irritates me so much, it's like if my ears were itchy, i want to cover them, i want to run away. it's honestly so desperating. people talking, chewing, breathing, it's something that my brain doesn't take very well. yesterday i was having dinner with my parents and we were having a conversation and all of sudden i jumped off the chair and walked a little bit away with a disgusted face because of the noises they were making. they started to ask me: "what happened?", they were very worried and i didn't know what to say, i obviously knew what happened but i didn't want them to feel bad. my dad said: "i think she tripped with the stairs" and that was like the perfect excuse, i agreed with that. i'm really worried because it's not that i hate people or anything, i want to hear them, yesterday we were having a decent conversation but this came over to ruin it. i really do want to listen to people but just describing my feelings seems like i hate people and that's not it. basically right now i feel better being alone because of this, but i don't want to be alone. this is the weirdest thing. | help: i can't stand people talking. | 636o9y | i would suggest seeking a therapist. you are aware of your problem and the issues it causes in your life, and a therapist can help you sort through that. | mentalhealth | 636o9y |
read (the expanse, this naked mind) play games (dishonoured 2) follow a tv series (the expanse, dirk gently, so many more) play piano clean up after myself bookwork moderate what i eat enjoy time with my partner (he cottons on, i get defensive and angry, bullshit ensues) sexytime (see above) sleep well wake happy and thankful get to work on time get through the next day without a drink hmmm why did i want that drink again? | things i can't do after a relaxing drink | 5zaopv | i could watch all the tv i wanted... except i never remembered what i'd seen. can't tell you how many times since sobering up i've been surprised to rewatch episodes and realize i had no idea what had happened. here's to recapturing the evenings! | stopdrinking | 5zaopv |
i'm sick of dealing with this alone and wanted to see if you fine people have ever dealt with anything remotely similar. i'm happily married (that should be the end of this, right?) to an awesome woman i met in college, we get along great most of the time, etc. etc. life is pretty good. in my head, this should be the end of story right? wrong. growing up, literally since about kindergarten, i had this huge crush on a classmate of mine. kind of a family friend, small town so we spent lots of time together, we were "best friends" through grade school/middle school, whatever. two possibly important details about me that i think has allowed this to have a more f***ed up hold: 1. growing up i had this weird relationship with religion, kind of an "if you pray really hard for something, it's bound to happen." i know this is idiotic now (you probably can't sit on your ass 24 hours a day and pray for money and have it appear, right?) but growing up this was where my head was at with this girl, so literally probably every night from about 5 years old to 16 or so and then off and on until 18 i was praying for this girl to want to be my girlfriend/like me back/whatever. in short i feel like i habituated myself to kind of wanting this to happen. 2. i'm ridiculously private with my personal life, and my family (mom, cousins, aunts, etc.) a lot of times made fun myself and cousins picking on us having crushes on people. i was adamant that no one (even my best dude friends when we'd talk about this stuff) ever find out about mine, so i never talked to anyone about it or gave myself a chance for an "idiot, you actually have to do something to make it happen," until things were too late. fast forward into middle school (like 6th grade) and she's got a crush on me and i know it (she told me over aim... ha, those were the days) and i'm scared to tell her i like her back but we stay super close. 7th grade she moves away, we still talked all the time... she gets older starts dating other people here and there and then in high school she visited a couple times where there clear chances/signals (now that i'm not a complete idiot with women) to make a move. after that it was kind of this ridiculous terrible timing with our breakups. she'd be broken up when i was dating someone else and vice versa. we ended up going to college in different places (guessing we would have ended up together if we'd gone to the same place, not saying that would be awesome or not) but our last conversation before she started getting serious with the guy she ended up marrying (kind of a side family friend from another place) was her basically asking me what i thought about it. again, i'm like, idiot, she was telling you to say "not until i get a chance take you out it's not." she gets married young, i'm already dating my future wife, and now we're both married. please don't think the fact that nothing ever actually happened romantically between us is lost on me. i feel like a relatively intelligent guy in other areas of my life and this makes zero sense to me. here's the real kicker, this shit doesn't screw me up too bad during the day. there have been times where i'll think about what could have been when shit gets rougher with the wife (which i think is probably pretty normal), but it would be fine and good but for the fact that i swear every other night i dream about some scenario where we end up together. it's like this unconscious emotional affair that i want to get rid of but can't. i'm hoping "talking" about it will help. thanks for the time and please post any and all advice or berating below. tl;dr kind of having an unconscious emotional affair with an old 'what could have been' that i want to get rid of but can't. | [27/m] feel like a ridiculous head case: happily married but i can't get over/feel like i've "conditioned" myself into an unhealthy inability to let go of this 'what could have been' | 68m0gu | sometimes these sorts of things mask underlying depression... or sometimes a little fantasy is just fun and a stress reducer....or sometimes it speaks to unresolved issues in your marriage | relationship_advice | 68m0gu |
a specific event i participate in gives me bad anxiety so my dr. gave me a prescription of .5mg klonopin to take ahead of time. i'd take one a couple times a week, tops. **am i playing with fire here? is it safe to take one every few days or so?** i've never been addicted to a drug (i've taken opiates for kidney stones before and was fine afterwards). all the talk i found on google makes me nervous to even take one klonopin. thanks. | klonopin - too risky? | 4rktr8 | benzodiazepines are relatively safe drugs medically, but from a clinical guidelines perspective at least where i live they are not generally considered first line treatments for anxiety disorders except in the case of specific phobias that are encountered very rarely. without knowing the whole story, of course you should go with what your doctor says and it's not unreasonable - but i wonder if you've tried/could you afford any kind of psychotherapy to help you find other ways to cope with your anxiety? | askdocs | 4rktr8 |
obviously someone who has been abused can get traumatised from it, but can the abuser get traumatised from what they have done? | is it possible for someone to get traumatised from performing a violent act? | 6f3f2s | "perpetrator trauma" is the term of art for this, and yes, absolutely. | mentalhealth | 6f3f2s |
so i just shared this on someone else's post, but i need to write this here myself. i don't know why i'm up in my head about this right now. my sponsor says i need a chip on my shoulder or something, but i still struggle with this no matter how much step work i do. my doc was weed. that's it. no coke, crack, heroin, pills, not even alcohol (although i would drink if i had nothing else available). i've never broken a law worse than driving under the influence. i've never been arrested. i've never sold drugs. i've never been homeless, or broke, or any of that. as a kid, all the way through high school, i was as straight laced as they come. i was also truly socially awkward, and was bullied like crazy. i hated my life, and wanted to be "popular", so i turned to alcohol and weed in college. i quickly found that weed was all i really wanted, and ditched the alcohol after a while. at first, weed let me feel cool at parties. but for the overwhelming majority of my active addiction, i just sat at home, alone, not having any human contact, getting high. i was lonely and miserable. the few people in my life, like my parents, i pushed away to protect my getting high (they staged an intervention for me at one point). lies and manipulation of the people around me was my way of life. i worked throughout most of my addition, it was how i justified everything. on my 26th birthday some big shit went down, and i had a total emotional breakdown and threw away my career. i spent the next 8 months with nothing, feeling like a failure, trapped in a bubble of misery i didn't think i could get out of. then i went to na. i cried, i begged for help, i didn't feel like i belonged, and everyone there loved me and picked me up and helped me to recovery. today i have been clean 2 years, 3 months, and 24 days. i'm so blessed for that. yet sometimes i still feel the need to play this tape through, i still sometimes struggle with feeling like the only person in the room with a story like mine. there's no marijuana anonymous where i live, unfortunately. i love na, but in early recovery i lived in an area with ma, and those meetings helped keep these thoughts at bay. i hate /r/leaves, everyone there seems so casual about quitting. "oh, yeah, i'm just gonna stop now." well good fucking for you, some of us didn't have that luxury. anyway, i'm not sure where i'm going with this. i know i belong here, and i'm never giving up my seat. | pothead in recovery | 7696w9 | i don’t know how to help you, i also feel weird in na sometimes, although my story is different from yours. my mom just got out of inpatient for “just weed.” | redditorsinrecovery | 7696w9 |
female, 28, vegetarian, no family history of anything significant, non smoker was getting blood work—needed testing for hiv, so decided to also purchase cbc differential and 14 metabolic panel since it was cheap and i was getting blood drawn anyway. everything was within normal limits except for alkaline phosphatate. i got an alert notice and it was flagged at 38. normal range is 39-117. i have a feeling it has to do with being a vegetarian. my diet isn’t the best. should i be worried and book an appointment with a dr asap? | bloodwork done just for the heck of it, alkaline phosphatate low, why? | 9m02m6 | it's normal. alk phos is mostly measured to look for elevated values. there are a few conditions that produce low values, but none that come to mind where the low value is the suggestive sign. moreover, the thresholds for normal lab values are almost always set conservatively. 1 point below normal is still normal. nothing to see here. | askdocs | 9m02m6 |
okay i know this sounds crazy. i’ve been with this guy for almost 3 years now. he’s always tried to avoid me going near his belly button. apparently he has a fear that it’ll poke his insides or whatever. anyways, he fell asleep, and i can’t seem to sleep tonight. i usually hug him from the back, so i would rub his stomach. i went over his belly button and felt something scratchy. so eventually i thought oh hey why not check it for once. i stuck my finger in and oh my god it was crusty. the smell was even worse. i thought at first oh my god did i rip some scabs off or something? is he alright? but when i used my phone to shine some light, it was crusty and flaky and absolutely disgusting with the texture of brown sugar and the smell of extreme sharp cheese. i also found some brown/black stones. how do i bring this up to him? i always thought he would at least keep it clean when he showers, but he actually does not wash his belly button. edit: i’m not gonna reply to rude people. | boyfriend [21m] won’t clean his belly button. what should i [24f] do? | cgjotv | show him a video of an umbilolith removal and inform him that this is why you are concerned. tell him that you understand it can be a sensitive area to touch, but that regularly cleaning it can help. if he refuses, ask him to please inform him physician at his next physical for them to determine if it is endangering his health. regardless, his hygiene habits can absolutely influence physical interactions with you. there is no law that says you have to plug your nose and bear it to preform fellatio when you find him unhygienic. communication is going to be the key on that one though. | relationship_advice | cgjotv |
male, 5'10" 180lbs, non smoker, have been diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder on the dsm iv... autism spectrum on the dsm v. also diagnosed prominently with anxiety.. depression, adhd, and ocd. \(adhd since 1'st grade, the rest have mostly accumulated when i turned 18\) i live in downtown pittsburgh, pa. a bad neighborhood.. and i'm currently prescribed with 20mg of paxil. i've been taking the 20mg of paxil for a few weeks now and i'm unable to achieve an orgasm anymore and also i'm extremely fatigued.. like downright exhausted during the day, no loss of sleep. other than those side effects, the paxil has been a **little** helpful. but when **any** situation occurs where i feel unsafe or uncomfortable\- the medicine seems to completely lose it's helpfulness. this leads me to believe than benzo's would be better suited for me. such as xanax, valium, or klonopin. i asked my doctor about putting me on xanax during our very first meeting, but she was completely opposed to the idea, because of the addictiveness. i also think she wanted to kill two or three birds with one stone, as in the depression and ocd that i've heard paxil is also supposed to help. \* also, i was inspired to post this tonight because i was experiencing major tooth pain and took a hydrocodone pill that i was previously prescribed. i feel this is important to mention, because for the first time in many months, i felt happy, relaxed, motivated, and calm. i felt cured. i've been on many ssri's and none of them have seemed to help: celexa, prozac, zoloft, i believe lexapro as well. also strattera as a supplement. \* \*\* i have also done some research and i'm aware that combining a pain\-killer and a benzo is dangerous and i would never make the mistake of combining the two. the opioid i took tonight was a very rare circumstance\- as i \(was\) feeling immense pain \*\* any advice, suggestions, or feedback would be greatly appreciated. thank you. | which ssri or benzo do i need? | 8k1de5 | fatigue and loss of orgasms might get better after the first few days, but they're common paxil side effects and unlikely to get much better if you're still having those problems after a few weeks. you've been through the ssris and nothing has been great? there are other anti\-anxiety and antidepressant drugs out there. opioids can definitely make you feel better. unfortunately, that's not sustainable. benzos are a little more sustainable, but still not a first choice because of addiction potential and long\-term risks. | askdocs | 8k1de5 |
ok this is kind of pointless but i'm curious what another therapist will think of this? she started practicing in another state after working with me for awhile and i wasn't feeling 100% authentic with her anyways so i found a new therapist. then the first therapist added me on facebook and followed my instagram, i didn't think it was weird but someone i know who is going to school to become a therapist rn was like "that is super weird". ​ she messaged me something like "i'm so glad i can connect with former clients on social media, how are you doing?" on instagram and i had a very brief conversation with her. she also sent me something about covid-19 mental health resources. then she unfollowed me and i feel like it was deliberate lol. ​ like does this make any sense to anyone why would you try to have a little internet friendship with a former therapy client and then randomly cut them off?? it seems like she's not sure if she's supposed to be doing it or not??? any rules around this? i'm not concerned or anything i just genuinely don't get it. | why did my old therapist follow me and unfollow me? | g8udim | i can't possibly know what she was thinking. my best guess is you were on her mind (i often think about former clients) and then after she followed you she realized - or was told that is a slippery boundary and thought better of it. | askatherapist | g8udim |
i'm wondering if anyone has experience with an so who has an extremely different temperament than you. i (31/m) have an so (33/m) who is a pretty calm guy about 80% of the time. every once in a while, though, out comes this grumpiness/anger that seizes him. i can predict it sometimes - when he's hungry or overly annoyed. other times it comes out of nowhere - like the other day i had a hard time shutting a window and accidentally pushed it off its track. he got suddenly angry, fixed it in about 10 seconds, and then went into what i call "shut down mode". after these bursts of anger, he completely walls up. he usually stops talking to me, goes to bed or just focuses on his computer or something for about 24 hours. i am quite different. i have a very calm temperament - something i've worked on for a long time. i don't anger easily, and i have a very strong 'don't sweat the small stuff' policy. my boyfriend, however, can get set off by pretty minor things. when i am truly angry, i am definitely one who wants to confront the issue head on and solve it there and then. my boyfriend needs at least 24 hours before he's ready to address an issue. i am thankful that his grumpiness doesn't manifest itself in anything abusive - i actually don't mind that he needs more time than me to recover and have learned to just give him space (even though i really want to talk his ear off). it's more that i feel stressed when something small upsets him so much that he needs to be away from me for 24 hours. we have done some positive things toward solving this issue. we gave his "angry" personality a name, and now he can sometimes give me a warning. in a joking way, he'll say "if i don't get some food in me soon, geoffrey's gonna show up." but still, there are quite a few times when it comes out of nowhere and blindsides me. these angry bursts aren't that common either - maybe once or twice a month, and other than that, we don't argue. | my (31m) so's (33m) gets "anger bursts" over small things, and it confuses me | 77dmtc | he needs to figure this out. therapy would help | relationship_advice | 77dmtc |
i have been really good friends with this beautiful girl for the better part of 10 years. she has always been in a relationship since ive known her, one of them lasting 7 years. even though she had a boyfriend she has always been really flirty. not only with me but with pretty much every guy... she says its part of her sarcastic bubbly personality. we would drink and i could tell there were strong emotions for each other, wanting something more but couldn't because of her relationship. about 4 months ago her and her boyfriend broke up we decided to give it a try. we've just been taking it slow, hanging out more often, going on little dates, just had sex for the first time last week. i really like this girl, i find myself thinking about her all the time. before her i felt a vast nothingness of no emotions and she makes me feel all emotions but im not sure if she feels the same way back. plus every day i argue with myself if i can trust her because that is a huge thing for me. she tells me she doesn't want to make anything official because she might be getting back together with her ex. says she wants to be single for a while and just be her.. she deletes all her text messages every day.. like i mentioned she is super flirty with guys and she has a lot of guy friends that ive never even met (that she tells me try to hook up with her). the only thing i've really got to hold on to is the fact she was in a 7 year relationship, we've wanted to hook up with each other many times during that period and she never did until they broke up. i don't know im just so confused! | [27/m] having trust issues with girlfriend (26/f) | 5vqq2i | for now, trust is moot, because she's saying she doesn't want a rel. ; which means she wants fwb. if down the road, you both decide to have a committed rel. doesn't sound like she cheated on her ex, so if you both decide to have a committed ltr, than it should be ok. | relationship_advice | 5vqq2i |
this is the third time i have broken my streak(9days,6days,7days).but now,im coming back with full force,im gonna make this streak go upto atleast 100now and i wont surrender to fapping again.the 6-7 days i didnt fap gave me a lot of confidence and i dont want go back to that shitty condition of fapping 4-5 times a day.plus,i feel like i got a girl to like me aswell and become good friends with her. wish me luck guys,im aiming for a solid 100 this time and i wont give up! | i have had enough! | bn3skb | how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time. 100 is good goal, but keep the focus on one day! | nofap | bn3skb |
hi, guys. as some of you know, i'm divided about aa and i occasionally post things here so i can see what more experienced aaers think about them. i'm not trying to bash aa; i just want to make sure i've come to a good decision if i'm gonna hop aboard the program (i don't have a sponsor, i'm not working the steps, but i do go to meetings). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "that's what people don't understand about 12-step - by convincing people they'll always be helpless addicts, they set them up to fail. not knowing how to beat addiction on their own, they enter a cycle of relapse followed by dependency on aa group support. eventually they become aa lifers. like big religion, aa fosters fear of drinking which makes it only more likely that a drink will lead to relapse. religious people say if you slip up, the devil will get you. then people who get fed up with those religions, where do they have to turn but "the devil?" they think they're rebelling against the religion, but they're still taking part in it, just worshipping the bad god instead of the good one. their world view is still dominated by the same religion. aa works the same way. the paradigm is a lifelong struggle for sobriety vs disastrous relapse. the god is the struggle for sobriety, the devil is the disastrous relapse. this mindset motivates people into disastrous relapse the same way bible-thumpers motivate people to become satanists. the relapse isn't a departure from aa, it's part of it. if you can get out of that mindset, throw the entire aa paradigm aside and discover or rediscover your own power, you might find yourself having a drink and not relapsing. it's not hard to do, unless you believe it is." | how would you respond to this statement about aa? | 1am3qj | rather be an aa lifer than living under a bridge or dead. i think wherever this quote came from the person picked what they wanted for their point from the text, no matter how out of context it may be. if i'm being entirely honest, i am fuckin' scared of relapse. i don't see me not being scared of relapse for a very long time. does this mean i cower in my room all day for fear of an alcoholic death, hell no. however, i know should i pickup a drink today that is a very real possibility. i also think that the "helpless addicts" remark is less fact based and more incendiary. if we were just helpless addicts then we wouldn't have the ability to appeal to the higher power of our understanding. yet, we see repeatedly that no matter how long we take off, if we are alcoholic, we will find the exact same lows as our drinking took us before. so again, i'll sacrifice an hour a night 5 times a week if it means that i don't put another scar on my neck. not to mention the other perks other than the "lifelong struggle for sobriety", such as the people and the better way of living, i can tell you that i am ten times the person i was when i was drinking. | stopdrinking | 1am3qj |
my girlfriend knows a guy who's really big into watching them although he's an active member of the army. i was just wonder if that was legitimate or not. also, can the condition's symptoms be trigged by universal means or does it vary based on that person's traumatic event? | can people suffering from ptsd watch horror movies and have it be okay? | 2a3yxn | it's kind of skeevy that you're trying to decide whether or not someone's ptsd is legitimate... but long story short, people get triggered by different things, and some people even seek out things that trigger them as part of the reenactment aspect of ptsd. | ptsd | 2a3yxn |
hi 👋 ive lurked for a while looking at inspirational posts wishing that was me writing that if not drank for a year...well i’m finally going to take charge of my life and stop being a slave to addiction. short intro, i’m a mum of three gorgeous boys one of which isn’t a year old. i didn’t drink a drop during pregnancy but once i had him - boom 💥 i stupidly had that first drink thinking i will be able to moderate now. a mistake we have all made i’m guessing. i now drink pretty much every evening, amount vary’s could be a glass of wine/bottle, bottle plus spirits on weekends. however i remember how great i felt whilst being pregnant, how my shocking memory improved, how i dealt with stress, the amazing sleep, the general feeling of proper happiness! determined to get that back...hopefully with the help of you guys to get me through the rough times. i know i can do it and have the drive to see it through so let’s do this! eek scared and excited at the same time | lurker for ages finally taking the plung | 8m0esx | hi. mum of 3 boys here . my drinking became more frequent after my third child and i think lots of parents find this. i found parenting so great, and so tough, and my mental health was poor during and after the pregnancies. the drinking seemed like stress relief but only made it harder. 29 days booze free now, things are still tough at times, but better without the demon drink . you can do this. good luck. | stopdrinking | 8m0esx |
i've suffered from dissociation (depersonalisation / derealisation) and severe intrusive thoughts for years now, 45 mg of mirtazapine + 225 mg of venlafaxine (effexor) doesn't help. i've even overdosed to 300 mg (and even as large as 375 mg if i remember correctly) instead of 225 mg despite not knowing whether i should or not as my doctor for some reason has stopped contacting me. she hasn't answered my emails or calls for months, for no reason. although from day one i had a feeling she disliked me a lot. i also have delusional(?) thoughts about my friends and family abandoning me at some point. i am very anxious around them and i even have difficulty looking them in the eye and i might stutter while speaking to them, etc. this happens to me every day. it's good if i can hold one 5-minute conversation with them. it doesn't get any better, this has been going on since 2015, since 2014 with some. i feel like i need to say the right words or i feel like if i offend them they won't ever talk to me again. every new day i meet them it's like they're complete strangers and i'm very anxious around them, afraid of them abandoning me. i also notice that at the most severe forms of this i lack empathy completely yet i still have these fearful thoughts of abandonment. could this be some form of psychosis? perhaps even schizophrenia? i really need help from someone. i believe i cannot go on like this for much longer. | could this be schizophrenia or psychosis? | 6whnxg | doesn't sound like psychosis at all, more like severe anxiety. | askdocs | 6whnxg |
[findings from a study on the mdma experiences of adults on the autism spectrum - alicia danforth](WEBLINK) | findings from a study on the mdma experiences of adults on the autism spectrum - alicia danforth | 2p6d37 | abstract courage, connection, and clarity: a mixed-methods collective-case study of mdma (ecstasy) experiences of autistic adults by alicia lynn danforth this exploratory inquiry analyzed subjective experiences autistic adults reported after they took the drug 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (mdma), also known as ecstasy, in nonclinical settings. applied thematic analysis of interview content was utilized to create a comprehensive account of emergent themes of clinical relevance from 24 participant and 2 third-party observer interviews. a score of 32 or higher on the autism-spectrum quotient was required as a screening measure for enrollment. demographic data were collected through a secure, globally available website, and 3 self-report assessments of social orientation were administered (the empathy quotient, the interpersonal reactivity index, and the cambridge friendship questionnaire). participants from 13 countries submitted data, including 100 mdma/ecstasy- experienced individuals (76% males; 24% females) and a 50-participant mdma/ecstasy-naïve comparison group (54% males; 46% females). participants’ ages ranged from 21 to 74 years. mdma has well-documented acute effects that promote pro-social attitudes such as caring, trust, and concern for the well-being of others in typically developing populations. findings from this study suggested that mdma-assisted therapy may be an effective catalyst for intra and interpersonal change in the broad domains of courage, communication, connection, communion, and clarity. in addition, participants reported accounts of lasting transformation and healing from conditions such as trauma and social anxiety that are common in autistic populations. no participants reported long-term adverse outcomes as a result of using mdma/ecstasy. an independent samples t-test showed that the mean autism-spectrum quotient score of the mdma-experienced group was significantly lower than the mean autism-spectrum quotient score of the mdma-naïve group, t(148) = 2.61, p = .01. significant differences between the 2 study groups were not shown for mean scores on the other assessments. however, qualitative findings supported a strong case for future randomized, double-blinded, placebo controlled pilot studies of mdma-assisted therapy with autistic adults who present with social adaptability challenges. | aspergers | 2p6d37 |
many of us are depressed because we are deprived of reward. we are not stimulating ourselves the way we were meant to. we are stuck in a perpetual groundhog day with no excitement. we don't enjoy anything. we don't feel interested in anything. there is more depression in the first world than the third world. why? because people in the third world have to fight for something. they have to struggle. in the first world, we have so little struggle many of us simply get chronically bored. the way we get better is by training our brain to feel pleasure again. we have to do things we don't want to. we have to force ourselves to try and talk to people and date even if we don't want. put ourselves through school even if we don't want to. i'm still stuck being bored. i haven't been able to succeed at my own theory yet, but i know that has to be the key. i'm not depressed, i'm chronically bored. it may take years, but i have to try everything possible to feel pleasure again. i'm only 17; so my options are very limited. but as opportunities open up, i have to take them; even if i don't want to. | in depression, the reward system is key | 6sg7bl | very well written. i plan on writing an article in my blog soon all about this. i like to have my clients think of their depression as a psychic parasite living inside them. it tricks our minds into thinking that we won't/don't enjoy all of the things that are good for us (that would reduce/eliminate the depression) and tells us to do the things that will feed it ie. stay inside, oversleep, cancel plans with friends, not eat, etc. if you want to kick the depression out you really need to force yourself to go against some of your depressed instincts or automatic thoughts. | mentalhealth | 6sg7bl |