With no explanation, label the following with either "hyperpartisan" or "not_hyperpartisan".
Stinkin’ Dinkadoodles! Gupta Patel Slams New Bill Passed To Teach Your Kids Anal Sex In Public School And He’s Fired Up Like A Samosa Fresh Out The Pan! Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information. Everyone knows and loves Gupta Patel – Turtleboy’s crazy Indian Tech Guy and proud convenience store proprietor. He’s never blogged for us before but something caught his eye in the news that sent him reeling. Let’s give him a warm welcome as he has a meltdown about the statehouse deciding to teach kids as young as 12 how to safely take it in the back door! Your uncle Gupta read this one news article last night and choke on his Vodka Slushee! Last Thursday, the Massachusetts Senate passed new sex education package by a 31-6 vote in favor. Look like the usual chutiyas in the statehouse been drinking the same strange flavor KoolAid again. Take a look at this nutty-ass booshit: From New Boston Post— As it did in 2015, the Massachusetts Senate passed a bill nearly entirely along party lines on Thursday dictating how school districts teach sex education; and just like two years ago, the biggest sticking point for the bill’s opponents was the lack of an opt-in stipulation for parents and guardians. Unlike in 2015, however, it is likely this version of the bill will reach the House floor for a vote, but it remains to be seen if lawmakers on the other side of the State House attach the failed parental opt-in amendment touted Thursday by House Minority Leader Bruce Tarr (R-Gloucester). Following the 31-6 vote in favor that saw the only Democratic opposition come from state Senator Michael Rush of West Roxbury, Tarr praised the “robust and healthy debate” that transpired Thursday afternoon but expressed “hope that as it makes its way through the legislative process” that lawmakers outside the Senate will wind up adopting proposals like a parental consent stipulation. The bill’s lead sponsor, state Senator Sal DiDomenico (D-Everett) took issue with Tarr’s opt-in proposal. “This amendment would gut the bill,” DiDomenico claimed, noting that the legislation already features an opt-out amendment for both parents and school districts. “This amendment would effectively take all the work we put together and throw it out the window. “We do not have opt-in for science, math, English — we don’t have any opt-in initiative for any other subjects in our schools — this subject in particular could save lives.” Other Democrats who spoke out in opposition to Tarr’s amendment included state Senator John Keenan of Quincy, Worcester’s Harriet Chandler, and Boston’s Sonia Chang-Diaz. Keenan and Chang-Diaz added that a parental consent requirement would add an unnecessary level of bureaucracy, with Keenan claiming that it “would require school districts to chase down the parents of every single student” while Chang-Diaz noting that “many of my colleagues in the chamber in the minority are avid proponents of small streamlined government.” Chandler claimed that an opt-in provision would result in a “very limited number of people who would be taking advantage of it.” “The alternative of what we’re talking about is our children learning about these behaviors from what they hear on the school bus or read on the Internet,” she added. State Senator Vinny deMacedo (R-Plymouth), responding to Keenan’s point, used student field trips as an example of opt-in protocol. “I don’t think that’s an impossible hurdle to overcome,” he said. “The reality is that asking parents if they’re comfortable with this or not is not a stretch by any means.” Tarr appeared to take issue with the claim linking parental approval to an added layer of bureaucracy. “Well well well, it is interesting that some of these folks have stood at this microphone and suggested somehow that obtaining parental consent is so burdensome that we shouldn’t follow through with this,” Tarr quipped. “Suggesting that the role of a parent should be subordinate to the role of bureaucracy, now that’s a deeply concerning thought.” Tarr also challenged DiDomenico’s claim that an opt-in provision would “gut the bill.” “That somehow this bill is jeopardized by the fact that we might want to involve parents in the decision making — what does that suggest about the priorities of the bill?” Tarr questioned. “It suggests that somehow we ought to subordinate the role of the parent to the role of the state. “It’s also been suggested that we don’t have opt-in provisions for math, science, and other things, well that is true, but we also don’t have opt-out provisions for those things, because they don’t fit the same matter as the subject matter that we’re discussing here.” Conservative organizations, including the Massachusetts Family Institute, are vehemently opposed to the bill over the proposed curriculum’s subject matter, which suggests that instruction regarding sexual aspects such as anal intercourse is age-appropriate for children as young as 12.Some of the instructional material approved by state education officials was created by Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts. “If you have to have an affirmative act from a parent in order to go on a school trip, should you not have to have the affirmative act of a parent to be involved in education that involves morality, subjective judgment, and important health matters?” Tarr said. “I think the matter speaks for itself.” DiDomenico responded to Tarr’s argument by noting he is not looking to subvert the role of parents and countered that he “would put this in the same category as English, math, and science.” “In some respects I’d put it ahead of those subjects,” DiDomenico added. “There are life-ending, life-long consequences, and a critical mistake can change their lives forever.” State Senator Barbara L’Italien (D-Andover) also spoke, mentioning an incident in which her older sister became pregnant during high school. “Getting married at age 17 locked her into a life of virtual poverty,” L’Italien said. “I wish there had been accurate health information when she was a student back in the ’70s, I think her life might have changed dramatically. “There are times when government needs to be proactive, and protective, and this is one of those situations.” Sweet Baby Vishnu! The anal sex education is age appropriate for 12 year old? What fucking version of goddamn Kama Sutra they been reading? The Paul Georgio translation? This Hindu had the very very bad nightmares after reading this news! In my dream, my daughter, Gupta Jr, was back in the grade school. I was watching my favorite American movie “Mansion of Blood” and Mindy Robinson was just about to show all the peoples her hot hot Samosas when my daughter come running through the door, She say “Papa! Papa! I have the question about the sex!” And I say “Yes my little one, I have been preparing for this conversation long time. Ask your papa your questions”. She say “Papa, when will it stop hurting my ass so much?” Your old Uncle Gupta almost had the bad heart attacks! “As it did in 2015, the Massachusetts Senate passed a bill nearly entirely along party lines on Thursday dictating how school districts teach sex education; and just like two years ago, the biggest sticking point for the bill’s opponents was the lack of an opt-in stipulation for parents and guardians.” Really? Uncle Gupta think the biggest sticking point probably gonna be the anal sex. Seriously though. You can opt out of goddamn Pledge of Allegiance in school in Massachusetts without facing the punishments, but you can’t opt out of learning how to send your pork soldier to the battle in Brownsville? “The bill’s lead sponsor, state Senator Sal DiDomenico (D-Everett) took issue with Tarr’s opt-in proposal. “This amendment would gut the bill,” DiDomenico claimed, noting that the legislation already features an opt-out amendment for both parents and school districts. “This amendment would effectively take all the work we put together and throw it out the window. “We do not have opt-in for science, math, English — we don’t have any opt-in initiative for any other subjects in our schools — this subject in particular could save lives.” Ganesha, please take me now, These chutiyas gonna drive this humble Hindu to carnivorism. “Johnny, study the maths and the science good so you can be great physicist someday!” “Susie! finish your English homeworks so you can be excellent writer someday.” Mary! Make sure you don’t miss any of the Massachusetts mandated sex education class so you can be great wide receiver some day!” In the name of heavenly teacher Guru Deva please reincarnate these people as pimples on Kim Kardashian’s face at bukake session after Black Lives Matter rally. State Senator Barbara L’Italien (D-Andover) also spoke, mentioning an incident in which her older sister became pregnant during high school. “Getting married at age 17 locked her into a life of virtual poverty,” L’Italien said. “I wish there had been accurate health information when she was a student back in the ’70s, I think her life might have changed dramatically. Ms. Barbarabhen! Did you really just say “Damn, my sister’s life would be so much better now if only she had taken the rusty trombone in her swamp starfish that one time instead of in her hoo-ha.”?? It Take one real classy lady to say she wishes her niece or nephew had taken a wrong turn down Willy Wonka’s garbage chute. Uncle Gupta don’t think it’s too strange that Barbara L’Italien advocating for taking it from the behind. Nobody gonna want to be looking at this in the face during the hot nookie-nookie session.. Holy mother of Kali! Blowjob from this one probably count as anal anyways. No surprise here really . Both L’Italien and Chandler recently vote to give themselves fat pay hike, so they have lot of experience stuffing the pepperonis in the peoples hot pockets. This one Hindu here don’t know about you, but when I see Hariette Chandler’s face, the first thing that come to mind not going to be anal sex: Sweet baby Hannuman! Her ass probably look like dying Yoda’s forehead. Going to work up her Lincoln Log Factory probably sound like punching a fist into the open jar of Miracle Whip! (Miracle Whip! Two jars for five dollar at my Main South Happy Hindu Mart Convenience Store in Worcester. Next five minute only.) She so old her dunghole probably look like the hopper on a meat grinder after Porketta night. This one Sonia Chang-Diaz though? Would. This Hindu just saying. “There are times when government needs to be proactive, and protective, and this is one of those situations.” I agreeing that government should be protective and proactive. Maybe if they had voted to give the Police the Kevlar Vests instead of giving their fat samosa asses big raise it would have been good start. Educating the 12 years old child about anal sex? Not so much. You know what going to happen in the class full of 12 years old kids when teacher start talking about the anal and oral sex? Gonna be like comedy scene in bad Hindi movie. Maybe not during class, but afterwards they gonna make the fun. “Rectum? Damn near killed him!” joke gonna get old real quick in the cafeteria. State Legislators are calling this bill the “Healthy Youth Act”. That really nice way of putting it. As usual with these “Dheela Lund Ni Olaad” (That my Gujarati language for “Sons of the broken penis”), the devil is in the details…and Uncle Gupta all about the details! One of the textbooks approved in the bill is called “Get Real: Comprehensive Sex Education That Works,” put out by the Planned Parenthood. Book is only available in bundles of 50, and this thrifty Indian man not buying if he can’t find the coupon or get the good deal. I ferret couple passages out on the internets for you. You’re welcome. One lesson teaches the childrens that A dental dam is “placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex”. Then it goes on to say the people can also use the “Non-Microwaveable Saran Wrap”. Papa Gupta spend most of his daughter’s pre-teen years yelling at her to do the healthy things. “Don’t touch that! Do not step in the dog mess! Don’t put the statue of Baby Krishna in your mouth! Wash Your hands before eating! Use the Purell after shaking Senator McGovern’s hand!”. Now, she would have to go to school next day and learn how to toss the big salad?? It’s ok though…. Happy Hindu Mart sell plenty of non-microwaveable Saran Wrap. This handsome Indian TurtleBoy don’t think Saran Wrap company be too happy knowing sex education class teaching the children to use their product to cover the chocolate cannoli. Another lesson talk about using the “ internal condom that is inserted into the anus.” They say it acts as a barrier but warns that “it may slip out of place during vaginal or anal intercourse and may be difficult to insert.” Wait…what you say? I had to call my cousin the Gastroenterologist about this one. Dr. Dharmendra Tubupyeresh. I say “Hey, Dharmendra, you ever hear of such thing?” He say to me “Gupta, you been lighting up the porn hub again? Yes there is such the thing.” He send me over this picture. “Insert two fingers inside the condom and gently push it into the anal cavity. The inner ring can be removed after inserted if desired.” Lovely. 12 year old gonna learn how to shove the ziplock bag up the friend’s wazoo before doing the zoom-zoom in the boom-boom. When Uncle Gupta first read this news, he knew something smell funny…and not just the anal sex! Then this bald prick rears his ugly head and everything make sense… Senator Jamie Eldridge. You might remember him from such blogs as these. This bhenchod one real professional turtle poking man! In my former country he would not have been problem because we would have already kill him already. Notice how he don’t tweet about the content of the bill…only that the Mass Senate GOP (all six of them) oppose it. Let me tell you something, Senator Jamie…nobody going to oppose young adults learning the safe ways to make the sweet nookie-nookie, but not letting parents opt them out? What kind of glass dinka-doodle you been smoking from? This Hindu gets it. Too many kids having the sex at young age… Definitely should be options available to teach healthy sexual practices to children, but if any citizen ever texted the contents of some of these lessons to a child, they would go to the prison. And we all know what happen in prison. Dunghole come out looking like Saarlac sand monster from the Return of the Jedi. Anyway, this Hindu try hard to reach these senators on Twitter but they not responding. Wonder why. Namaste TurtleBoy Nations! May the supple trunk of Ganesha goose your buttocks!
hyperpartisan.