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t3_m41x1 | AskReddit | To those who have experimented with drugs and had only good experiences, how do you address the subject when confronted by younger (18+) family members? | Its known to my family that I experimented freely with all sorts of drugs in college, but I never became addicted and never caused myself or other harm. And yes, I understand that I was lucky.
I attribute my luck mostly to the fact that I educated myself to the risks (to the extent that they were known) beforehand, and that I was always surrounded by very close friends when trying things that I knew could be extremely dangerous (such as taking excessive amounts of LSD).
In hindsight, I don't really believe that what I did was any more dangerous than certain more legal activities where one takes calculated risks with their own life -- various extreme sports for instance.
I do acknowledge that drugs are dangerous, and that its a good idea to avoid them if only because of the legal issue. But my family would much rather me take the hard under-no-circumstances-ever-do-drugs-period line with my younger relations and I don't feel comfortable doing that.
Am I just being stupid? Should I be dishonest about how I really feel and just stick to the politically correct propaganda when my cousins/nieces/nephews ask about my experiences? I'd be really interested in hearing any relevant experiences you guys have had. | Are there ways to communicate my opinions about drugs without regretting it later? |
t3_2jwovs | relationships | My gf[23 F] is depressed over career decisions and I[23 M] want to help but don't know where to begin. | My girlfriend is cheery and happy whenever she's with me. She smiles, laughs and enjoys life to the fullest during our time together or when with her friends.
She's recently lost her job (a job she enjoyed very much) and has been working part time at a coffee shop. I work 9-5 so during the days off, she's alone in the apartment and not doing much. This has been beating down on her for months especially because her friends are doing the jobs they love and being wildly successful. This resulted in a couple calls with crying on my lunch break or just breakdowns on her not going anywhere with her life.
I'm trying my best to tell her we'll work on it together. She tells me that she's just gonna end up working a mediocre job that she doesn't love because she turned down or missed out on larger opportunities through the years. She didn't finish university and feels bad seeing her friends graduate as well.
She had a couple chances to do really extravagant jobs through the years. Due to circumstances (parents preventing her, unwillingness to move to another country), she had to turn them down. There are more factors for why she turned them down but the fact that she missed out on them burns her deep.
I'm not sure where to start because she's normally so strong and seeing her this low and sad triggers me to try and help the best I can. I want to help her get a successful job she loves and get her happy again. I personally don't care much for extreme careers. I just like working and being paid a decent wage. But I want her to have a job she can be proud of. I just want to see her happy.
So, my girlfriend is feeling low and embarrassed over turning down possible dream jobs, not having a stable job at the moment, possibly working a mediocre job she wouldn't like and not finishing school. As her boyfriend, how do I help? | My Girlfriend is not happy with her career/education decisions as well as unemployment and feeling like a bum. I want to make her happy but don't know how |
t3_45jod1 | relationships | I [23F] am having trouble feeling like my [26M] boyfriend has given up. | We have been dating for a year now. Things were good at the beginning of our relationship and he'd do sweet things like buying me flowers or taking me out on dates that we'd plan together.
Since we moved in all that has stopped. Completely. It was as if a switch was flipped. I try to suggest things that we could do together and I cook and clean and give him massages and try to flirt with him to make him feel special but he never wants to do anything except smoke pot and play video games all day. (I should say I'm not against those things I don't smoke but I'm an avid gamer too but there's a point where it's too much!) I've tried and tried to explain that I don't feel wanted or desired by him anymore and he puts more effort in for a day or so and then nothing. I feel like I'm nagging and controlling to ask so often that it's driving me nuts!
It's gotten to the point where I'm not really sexually attracted to him anymore. I work out and I've tried to motivate him to go to the gym with me but he says his anxiety won't let him. I love him and I know it's shallow but he's put on so much weight since we moved in that I just... don't feel attracted to him. It also doesn't help that he won't try to romance me or put me in the mood and that's causing more tension for the both of us.
What can I do to save this?? | Moved in with boyfriend and he's become a couch potato pot cloud and I can't deal with it. Need advice. |
t3_2ouhqw | relationships | Me [32 F] with my ex-fiance [30 M] dated 9 months, separated 2 1/2 years, feel bad he turned into such a loser, | My ex and I broke up 2 1/2 years ago and i'm doing better than him. I moved away to a big city and now I split my time between there and nyc. I'm married to my partner of 2 years, I helped buy my mom a condo so she could be close to her family while she went through chemo-- she beat her cancer btw-- on top of running a successful business with my partner. I also go to school, work freelance jobs and volunteer a lot. I have many creative projects on the side that I do as well. Many people have told me I am successful and have my shit together. I am past the drama and have elevated myself to a good, positive mindset.
Now my wife and I are planning on moving to LA and i'm thinking back on my life and feeling lucky things turned out the way they did. Basically friends tell me he's still doing nothing with his life and working the same low paying job. I feel bad I wasted time on someone so unmotivated and "beneath me" for lack of a better term but I guess it taught me to not settle for less than I deserve. | Has anyone had a similar situation where they felt bad for wasting time on someone... And felt lucky afterwards? |
t3_466bd3 | relationships | I (F16) need advice on if my boyfriend (m18) and I should break up | We've been together for almost two years, and he's the first serious relationship I've ever had. Things are almost perfect, we like the same things, he makes me laugh, and he knows me better than anyone else. But the thing is, I'm only 16 and I don't know if I want to be seriously committed at this age. I want to experience new people and new things, but I feel like I'm in too deep at this point. We talk about growing up together, but that makes me nervous.
I'm afraid if I end things with him that it will be a huge deal to everyone around me. My family will talk about it, my friends won't stop talking about. It might sound selfish, but I want to be able to experience new relationships, but still have him to come back to if things don't work out.
I don't know what to do. I've told him these feelings before. We've almost broken up twice, and I think that if I put him through it again, he'll never forgive me.
Please give me advice! | Don't know if I should end things to experience new things |
t3_4p15nk | relationships | Me [42 M] with my GF [44 F] 6 months, Need to break it off but don't know how or if it's permanent | I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months and she is very upset about it. I am not sure what I am supposed to do. Do I keep in contact with her? Limit it to texting? What is the right thing to do? She is crying everyday. Asking me why and such. I care for her but need to clean up my life after making a mess of it. I am keeping the door open in my mind but don't know.
How I got here needs an explanation.
I am currently married but we have been separated for sometime. Think open relationship gone bad for over 5 years. We are on good terms, in fact even love each other but at this point there is no intimacy. Reconciliation is unlikely. I'm not even sure hard work would fix things but either way it seems to daunting that we both don't seem willing to make that commitment.
I suffer from anxiety and I keep losing my shit over all this. So much so I stopped being emotionally connected to my girlfriend and just felt trapped. to her credit, she never made me feel pushed and was very reasonable. I broke up with her because I couldn't stand the turmoil between breaking up my family and continuing this life of dating while living at home. I was being torn in two different directions.
So I went from one mess to another because I am stupid. I do care for this girl I am dating but feel as though the stress has eroded my feelings. When I ended it I felt like a weight was off my shoulders which helped my anxiety. I guess my goal is to figure out my life. | Broke up with GF, how to handle her grieving? |
t3_31hgzp | tifu | TIFU by cleaning myself with poop. | I live in an on-campus apartment with three other guys. We are all track athletes, and one of my them was only in school to compete (Ryan). After the fall term he had to leave because he was unable to compete anymore due to bad grades.
He didn't take a lot of his stuff home with him, so he said we could take whatever we found. One of such items was a bath pouf (that squishy netted thing that you use as a wash cloth) which was left in our shower. I am a huge fan of bath poufs, and mine fell apart recently. I grabbed his, washed it, and made it my own (it was pretty new too).
It is now deep into the spring term, so I've been using it for months now. Today when we were driving one of my roommates brings up that he was glad Ryan left that pouf here or else he wouldn't have had anything to clean the bathroom with (We were clean guys, and he cleaned the bathroom every two weeks). I yell, "What?! I've been using that in the shower since I left!"
Everyone then starts laughing uncontrollably as he says he scrubs the inside of the toilet with it too. I was mortified and very curious as to why he kept putting it back in the shower. He replied, "I guess I didn't know where else to put it."
And that's when I realized... I f***ed up. | Washed myself daily with a pouf that was used to scrub toilets. |
t3_itece | AskReddit | 4.1 GPA through high school, my parents cannot get help me get a loan for my second year, and I'm stressed out beyond belief. | My first year of college was great; I met many new people and friends, and really found an awesome group of runners to hang out with. As the year winded down, I became more and more worried as to how I was going to afford my second year, though. With my tuition for my first year at $14K, my second year is going to cost me a little less, at $12K, yet I still am at a loss as to how to get a loan for this.
For my first year, my grandfather got the loan for me. Unfortunately, my parents have had some economic hardships and are in no position to get a loan of any kind; my father has had two brain surgeries (1 ruptured aneurysm and 1 non-ruptured) and three heart surgeries. We have never had exuberant amounts of cash, and recently it seems to only be getting worse. Honestly, I cannot wait to get back to school to escape all of this again and not have to worry about it. My problem is that I seem to have less and less hope every day as I sit here wondering if I'll even be attending college this coming fall.
I have recently come to the realization that I need to work rather than run Cross-Country and Track for the school this year, and thankfully I am able to not only keep my current job (at Gamestop), but also work at the one in town during the school year. I will also be keeping my Freelance Writing jobs, but nonetheless, I still am without a loan.
**My question to the community is what should I do?** I am honestly at a loss and feel that if I do not attend college again... Well, to be honest, I feel like a failure... I feel that I have something to live up to being Class President and Student Government President, XC and Track Captain, and the founder of a Triathlon team for my Alma Mater. I am pretty depressed about this and I just cannot seem to find the right answer, as every time I think I have one, the world says "No," and pushes me back again. | I seemingly have no way to get a loan for college, what should I do? |
t3_sqib9 | dating_advice | Advice for a shy guy on talking to girl | I'm 19 y/o and in college. There's this girl in my class and we both know that the other exits but we've never spoken in person. We've attended many of the same parties, hung out in the same smaller group, etc. and during those times I would always catch her glancing a me. We seem to do the back and forth staring thing every time we're in the same room. She's really shy so she hasn't ever come up to me but the same thing goes for me. Every time I try to approach her I get all choked up and can never think of the right thing to say. I really want to talk to her and just impress her but I just can't find the courage. Have you guys ever had this happen? What should I do? | There's a girl I like but have been to shy to talk to her. What should I do? |
t3_4xr7ky | tifu | TIFU by not applying to University | So to start with you'll need some background information. I finished my A levels this summer and results day is 4 days away. Most people my age are going to university and a few are working. I chose to work... I was adamant from the start of A levels I wasn't going to go to university, so I didn't set up a UCAS form or research anything.
So two months down the line and my job is aweful, I work 46 hours a week in a factory bored beyond belief, an my alternative is to do an apprenticeship, which will pay me £110 a week and give me a poor qualification after 4 years.
So now I have 3 days to find a University course and hope my A Levels will just about fit me in... And yes I have checked it is still possible to get in. | I didn't bother applying for university and now I have to go as my job is horrible |
t3_zbkfw | relationships | (25 m)needs advice on complicated situation with (24 f) | Ok so here's the back story. I'm 25m, my wife is 24 f. We were married 3 years ago. Been together another 2. We separated about 3 months ago (stress over money led to infidelity on her part and that led to several fights between us). We both started seeing someone else after separating.
Today we met up to discuss the impending divorce and after a long(I'm talking 6 hours or so) talk we realized that we still love each other and that both of us have grown up a lot in the last few months. (Basically forced to because of living situations)
Now my question. Should we try to give it another shot? I'm thinking of basically dating and not jumping back into full fledged married life right away. Also, is the fact that we have both now been with someone else while we were separated going to cause problems down the road? | wife and I separated, saw other people, fell back in love, want to give it another shot. Good idea? |
t3_va4pe | AskReddit | What are the best groceries to provide a homeless guy for about $20? | There's this homeless guy on the corner of my street that I see out begging just about every day. I recently lucked into some money, so I wanted to help the guy out a bit. (I'm trying to do something good with %10 of any "bonus" money I come into, instead of blowing it on booze or video games). I worry that if I just give this guy $20 he might blow it on booze or cigarettes (not trying to judge the guy, but it is a possiblilty).
So what can I fill a plastic bag with that will help the guy out most, considering it's something he'll have to carry around with him (no place to store stuff), considering the shelf life of the food and its nutritional content? Doesn't have to be just food; think of this as a homeless survival kit, if you will. | What types of food will help a homeless guy survive the longest? |
t3_1s4cga | pettyrevenge | Revenge against parking spot thief | Yesterday as i drove to the shops for my lunch break, after 10 mins of circling (damn xmas shopping rush) i found a person walking back and they pointed me to the back so i followed them to the back lane, and waited for them to get in and go with my blinker on. As they reverse out, this asshole reverses full bore from the intersecting lane, almost hitting them and steals the spot. I then got out and told him it was my spot and to move, which he just kept saying "ive waited half an hour, over and over" and half-ran away, so i called him a cunt and moved on to find a new spot.
On to the justice part, today as im leaving the shops from lunch ad get to my car, who do i notice waiting in the lane? yep, the parking thief/cunt from yesterday. So i sit there, wait a bit, see another car turning into the lane so i reverse out, infront of the cunt/thief, blocking him and wave the lady in to take the spot, she does, i proceed to flip the thief off and drive back to work.
All in all today feels glorious. | guy steals my parking spot yesterday, i blocked him today as i left to let someone else get the spot. |
t3_2znrla | tifu | TIFU by calling someone a dick | This happened literally just minutes ago.
I was entering my apartment building from the front door. We have a glass front door and then the elevator room has another glass door leading into it which you can see out the front door. As I'm going in, there's a man standing waiting for the elevator.
We make eye contact, which generally then allows you to assume "okay if the elevator comes, he'll hold it for me in the 2 seconds extra it takes to get it."
So as I'm walking through the lobby, the elevator chimes and the door opens. The man enters the elevator.
As I swipe my key on the reader to unlock the door, the elevator doors begin closing. This process is pretty loud and by this point most people hold the elevator for you to come in.
I enter the room right as the elevator doors close. Frustrated, I mutter pretty loudly "What a fucking dick," hoping he hears me on his way up. I press the button to call the next elevator.
Turns out the elevator didn't go anywhere, and the doors open, with this guy giving me a funny look. Apparently he didn't push his floor button fast enough.
So I stand there awkwardly for 30 seconds, which felt like an hour, until the elevator gets to my floor. | Called someone a dick, ended up feeling like a dick. |
t3_2rwjmp | personalfinance | Used car buying strategy - maybe it will help you! | I have seen a lot of car buying questions on this sub and was hoping I could offer some helpful advice from my last purchase.
I am not an expert when it comes to cars so when it came to buying a new (used) car, I was a bit anxious at the process. So please point out the fallacies in my process if you see them. It seemed like everyone has a horror story about buying a used car, and my last car purchase before this one went less than stellar. However this time around I decided to approach it statistically rather than emotionally.
I created a scatter plot in Google Drive of both price vs. mile and price to age to give a better visualization of local price distribution.
[Here is a price to mileage chart I made for Toyota Highlanders](
[Another, miles per year vs price](
The first step was to figure out my needs - I was interested in an SUV, reliable, AWD, and preferably looking to spend between 9-18k. Then find the models which satisfy that. I ended up with Highlander, 4 Runner, Element, and Xterra after looking at reliability scores.
After that you do you price research & build your database. Look at craigslist, dealers, private sales, autotrader, whatever. Each data point you can get adds value to the whole chart.
[spreadsheet setup](
After you have 40+ data points, a parabolic curve tends to emerge. The trick is to buy a car either outside of the normal distribution (on the inside) or as close to where the curve flattens out. This can process can dictate your decision, or simply give you confidence to pull the trigger when you find a good deal.
I ended up going into a dealership and found a '07 Highlander which was advertised slightly under my distribution curve, and was able to confidently negotiate the price even lower, knowing full well I was getting a good deal. I ended up very happy with my purchase. I am happy to share more or answer questions. | Charts! |
t3_2phf62 | relationships | Why can't this ever happen to me? | Why can't this ever happen to me?
*It's a windy Friday afternoon, I'm on the train, feeling sad because at my age of thirty, I'm still alone and I'm tearing up and streaming tears on the train. This guy sits across from me on the train - he's about five feet eight, dark brown hair, bright, green eyes, maybe with or without glasses, he has his messenger bag across his chest, he's handsome but he's very much a nerd like I am. He sees me looking sad, teary-eyed. He finds me attractive and he comes over to me and says how he notices me looking sad and crying and he had to come over to say something and find out what was wrong. I tell him how I feel unfulfilled at my age of thirty. How I feel so empty because I can't seem to find "the one" and something must be wrong with me because I can't find this and maybe I'm not pretty enough or I'm so nerdy which is why I can't find "the one" and I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. He scoffs and smiles ans says that he thinks I'm incredibly pretty and that it isn't me and that it's probably that I'm just having bad luck. He offers me out for coffee. We go out for coffee and we have a great time and he asks me out on a date and I accept - and neither of us realize that our meeting was fate-planned and he doesn't realize that he's looking at the woman he's going to marry and spend forever with and I don't realize I'm looking at the man I'm going to marry and spend forever with.*
Why can't something magical like that ever happen to me? I don't think that would ever happen to me....I have this strong feeling and fear that I'm going to die - alone.... | I meet the guy I'm going to spend forever with? |
t3_4v743g | relationships | My [26 F] married former coworker/boss [31 M] who I had a crush on tried to sleep with me last summer. Can I still ask him to be a reference for job applications? | He wasn't really my boss, just someone who was higher up than me but not completely like a boss if you know what I mean. We worked together for about three years. From the moment I met him I was incredibly attracted to him. While we were working together I always thought there was sexual tension between us, he seemed to say flirty things to me and try to be around me as much as possible. He was really helpful with work stuff, talking me up to everyone and giving me credit for things I didn't do which helped me get a promotion.
We went out of town for a work trip last summer. We ended up hanging out together and being immature the whole time we were there. One night when we were both drunk and it was late he came back to my hotel room. We didn't have sex. We were both really trying to restrain ourselves since he is married and instead ended up just talking and watching TV and cuddling. Though at one point he tried to kiss me, and I said "What are you doing," to which he said "nothing" and tried to play it off.
About six months after he wound up getting a new job (a better one). We don't see each other much but will text each other occasionally. We've never mentioned that night in the hotel room. I think that makes it more awkward because it feels like we crossed a line more so if we pretend it didn't happen. Though other times it feels like since we didn't actually do anything maybe it's just not a big enough deal to ever mention again.
Now I'm applying for new jobs. He's definitely one of the best people I could use as a reference but I feel like it could be awkward. DO you think I should ask him? | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_4x7w85 | relationships | Me [22F] with two guys [23M] one year, [23M] friends for many years, one big giant mess. | Hey reddit,
I recently returned from a study abroad in Europe, I spent the entire year in Italy. Before I left I had been casually dating this guy, we definitely had feelings for each other but we suck at expressing ourselves and we both knew I was leaving anyway.
So during my time in Europe we "broke up" I guess. We still talked but we could date other people and bla bla bla. I guess I figured we were over, he was pretty cold to me when I was out there and I just tried to suck it up and get over him... So imagine my surprise when I come back and he says he's sorry and wants me back..
Sooo meanwhile an old friend (other 23M) moves to town. There was always something between him and I. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I met him recently and we drunkenly kissed..
I'm so confused reddit, I'm not the type to post about my personal life but I could use someone to talk to. | Two guys I like a lot, I don't know what to do. |
t3_4sxzwr | relationships | Should I (M28) pay for towing a friend's (M28) car which broke down while I was borrowing it? | Last week my car was totaled and a close non-romantic friend of mine loaned me his old Mercedes while the settlement gets worked out. This was a massive help to me since I can't afford a rental right now, and I was helping him by exposing it to potential buyers as he put it. Problem is after a week the starter failed and we ended up having to abandon the car at a gas station to be towed back to his house soon.
So I am unsure if I should be on the hook for the towing expense. On one hand it wouldn't have been out on the road if it wasn't for me borrowing it, but on the other hand I would not have borrowed had I known it was so close to breaking down (which he may not have known either).
Obviously money is an issue for me at this time or I would have been glad to help regardless. He hasn't even mentioned or asked but I still feel dirty about leaving him with a tow bill when he was only trying to be a good friend. We have been homies for years so I know we'll be cool no matter what but I would like the communities input. | Friend loans me a car that breaks down a week later, should I pay for towing? |
t3_dwwz8 | AskReddit | A dumb question on security bills... | Hi Reddit!,
Sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm in a little dilemma:
I'm working on a CAPM (Capital Asset Pricing Model), and I'm using the treasury bills issued with 28 days to maturity. I of course, need to match these values (every 28 days) to the daily values of the shares. I naturally can't do it with a linear approach (i.e. dividing the bond between 28 will give me the exact same value over and over, clearly wrong), and I have thought of integrating some sort of Markov Chain with nested bandwith levels so that I know the end 'price' and limit outliers (something that is wrong as well, because I will more than likely get a different value than the actual daily price).
What is the correct way to do this?
Another question (of less importance): Would you use a stochastic volatility model or an EGARCH if you try to model an asset that you believe will burst in a bubble in the near future?
bg | How do I adjust 28 day values for treasury bills to get daily values? |
t3_4nz28u | relationships | Our neighbor [50's-M] keeps complaining about music from our [20's] apartment. We live in artist's lofts, management took his side. | **Background:** My husband and I moved into an artist's loft about two weeks ago. He is a musician and we were told that the apartments were made to dull sound between the walls so that he can play with others and practice without disturbing neighbors.
**Issue:** Early last week we got a noise complaint that our management said came in at 8p regarding piano noise. My husband had been playing keyboard, and I was home doing some work but it wasn't distracting me from progress(louder music always is), but my husband agreed to not play that late anymore. Today we got a complaint at 1PM while my husband was home working on some stuff. Management came to the door and basically told my husband that he can't play keyboard in our apartment anymore because our neighbor is complaining.
Now, I completely understand that loud music is a no in an apartment, even lofts specifically designed for artists. But my husband is practicing piano in the middle of the day, which we were expressly told and encouraged to do, and we can't help but think that this is a bit ridiculous. What should we do? | We live in an artist's loft, but management and neighbor don't want us playing piano. |
t3_axama | relationship_advice | I cannot get over my best friend/ex, please help, RA | I dated my best friend one an off for about 4 years. I was always the doting one in the relationship and he was generally emotionally unavailable, but I loved and cared for him deeply. After our last official break up we continued to spend all of our time together and occasionally hook-up, but it was really basic, unromantic sex. More than anything, i would call him my closest, dearest friend.
After about 2 years of this, I met someone else and my Ex was devastated. He called and emailed all the time and all of a sudden wanted to be this caring, romantic boyfriend. But at that point, I only saw him as my best friend. This went on for 6 months (during which I was very caring, understanding and patient), until he met someone else. He wanted to break-off contact, which I understood completely.
After about 2 months, I emailed him just to check in and he wrote back saying he missed me. 2 months after that, I called him (I shouldn't have, I know)--I knew he wouldn't pick up and I didn't leave a voicemail. He called back and left a voicemail that was unbelievably vitriolic and said, among other things, that he said he never wanted to speak to me again.
That was 6 months ago, Reddit, and I'm still unbelievably upset. I don't know if it's just jealousy or a true longing, but I just miss my best friend so much. I can't get over it and I think about him every day. I would not, however, try to contact him again for fear of his response or lack thereof. But I thought I would be over it by now and I'm still just so upset. It's making me truly miserable. What can I do? | Remained BFF for 2 years after breaking up. When I met someone - still friends. When he met someone - haven't spoken in about 8 months. Now I'm really sad. |
t3_40zy5c | relationships | My [25f] ex [27m] won't stop posting whiny, annoying and complaining statuses about his life and our friends. | My ex, James, dumped me and I immediately moved out of his place at the beginning of this year. We were together just shy of 5 years, living together few years. I don't know how long because I just slowly moved in over time.
I really don't have any hard feelings towards him anymore, once I figured out my loving situation, I felt a huge relief like I was free. Our relationship turned to shit about 6 months prior, so as soon as I realized I can now be myself and live the life I want instead of what he wants helped me so much. I saw him a few days ago, hugged him and said thank you for all the good times and knowing when to call it quits. I truly love him as a person, just not as a boyfriend.
My problem is that James's personality is very loud and obnoxious, to put it nicely. I'm opposite, quiet, reserved. It took me like 2 weeks to tell anyone outside my family about the break up. I found out he told so many people within minutes of me packing a bag and leaving. He immediately starting whining about having a shit week on Facebook, crying out for help while he was going through a difficult time. That part sucked because he wasn't the homeless one with no furniture to her name.
James's comments started out sad and pathetic, but slowly grew to straight out complaining that none of his friends are there for him. He is literally calling them assholes right in front of them. We share so many friends, and they are the nicest people I know. I love them and I have nothing bad to say about most of them. I'm resisting the urge to tell him to just shut the fuck up already and move on. Or saying that when 1 person is an asshole to you, they're the asshole, but when everyone is an asshole, you're probably the asshole!
I want to stay friends with him because there's no avoiding him, I just don't know if I can keep my mouth shut. Should I say something? | ex is vaguebooking pathetic and fairly rude things about our friends. What do? |
t3_slj9w | AskReddit | Raising Awareness (and hopefully money) for the Adult Congenital Heart Association! | Just wanted to post this and ask for your support!
I was born with multiple congenital heart defects that basically made my heart backwards (cool right?) and thought this would be a great place to spread some awareness about the subject. over a million adults are living with congenital heart defects in the U.S. right now, and the number is rising every year. Thanks to breakthroughs in medical research and surgeries people are able to lead healthier, more normal lives every year!
I've recently become a member of ACHA and have found it to be a wonderful resource for people living with congenital heart defects. I and my girlfriend are doing the first annual walk in Boston to support ACHA and the Children's Heart Foundation this year and would love some help raising money for our team (Since it's just us).
Even if you just visit their page I'm sure they would love the support.
Here's a [link] to my donation page, if you feel so inclined. If not, thanks for reading anyway!
P.S. [Here's a picture of my cat in a bowtie for extra luck!]( | I have a backwards heart and could use some help raising money for a good cause. |
t3_3aryik | relationships | Me [21 M] with my [20 F] gf of 1 year, think she may have cheated | Recently my girlfriend went on an Israel sponosred trip, its like birthright or soemthing like that. After she got back things seemed weird. I know she wasn't drinking during the trip and was with her sister, but I still think something might have happened - a guy who was on the trip joked about them being a couple on her facebook page by saying "we look like a great couple" and she said "definitely".
i am crushed. I didn't think this girl would cheat on me but I can't think of another explanation. It's really out of character for her, she just doesn't say things like that jokingly. through the rest of the pictures i can see that this guy has posted a lot of other stuff on her pictures and seemed to be all over her on the trip. | gf may have cheated on trip |
t3_3cj6aj | relationships | My boyfriend refuses to move in with me even though I'm pregnant. | Hi!
My 23 year old boyfriend and I (female/32) have been dating 11 months now. I'm 18 weeks pregnant. I know it's been fast but we are in love. He's treated me better than any other guy I've been with and we're happy and love each other in way I never thought I could love another man. He's also great with my 14 year old daughter for a previous relationship, who lives with me.
For the past 10 months, he's stayed at mine nearly every night, but never officially moved in (I didn't ask him to move in). When he finished his work at 5pm, he'd go to his mom's (who lives nearby), get a snack, have a shower and get ready and come down to mine for about 7.30. He'd then go back there in the morning to get showered/ready for work. All of his clothes, products etc are at his parents.
Here's the thing, three months ago when I discovered my pregnancy, we decided we'd move out of my rental apartment and back in with my mom for a year (who lives on the same street as me) to save money. My mom was going to give us the whole top floor of her big house. We'd have our own kitchen, living room, bathroom etc. It would be like our own apartment. Two weeks ago, we moved in. we got the place all newly decorated, got us new furniture. For the first few days he couldn't bring his stuff around because I was putting away all mine and my daughters stuff. But every day since he's had an excuse why he can't move in "my stomach hurts, I'm not feeling well, I'll do it at the weekend", ""Ugh I'm exhausted I'll do it tommorrow". He hasn't even packed a single thing up at his mums house! He still goes there after work for a few hours and first thing in the morning. We're still very much in love and stronger than ever so he's not hesitant, I just don't know why he wont move in! What should I do reddit? | My boyfriend and I got our first apartment together two weeks ago, he's still not moved in. Help! |
t3_tgee9 | relationships | Boyfriend is going to start traveling 4-5 days a week for work... | My boyfriend (mid 20's) and I (also mid 20's) have known each other for over a year, but just started dating 3ish weeks ago.
He has a great opportunity at work, but this will cause him to be traveling 4-5 days week, pretty much Monday - Thursday for the next 2 months. I know travel can be a strain on relationships, especially new ones, but I'm really excited for him. This is a great opportunity at work, and he's going somewhere I love so hopefully I can visit while he's there. So my question for you RA is if any of you have/had any experience with these situations or have any suggestions that I can use to keep things moving along. | Newish boyfriend (friends for a year before dating) is starting to travel 4-5 days a week for work. Tips or suggestions to keep things exciting/not stressful during this time |
t3_nf97w | AskReddit | Why aren't we up in arm about McCain-Levin the way we are about SOPA when McCain-Levin is potentially so much more destructive to our liberties? | I've been reading the many posts about SOPA on Reddit. I've also been reading the relatively few posts about McCain-Levin. I noticed that as SOPA has waxed and waned Redditors posted links about who to call, were giving updates on the volume of calls going into Congress about the bill, and giving blow-by-blow descriptions of how the fight was going.
McCain-Levin is potentially much more destructive to our civil liberties. It allows for indefinite military detention of Americans on American soil. If/when the bill takes effect, the government could declare Occupy a terrorist movement, like the UK has flirted with, and allow the military to lock folks up for as long as they like. This is much more devastating to our civil liberties than SOPA. It allows dictator-style "disappearances" and such.
I am in my mid-40s, so I am a little older than many of you, but I am in the tech industry and I see a lot of young folks coming through. I do not buy into the things many older folks say about the youth being lazy, etc. I have a positive impression of the people coming out of college today. But I see the difference in response to these two bills, and I say WHAT? It makes me wonder if what I am hearing from the older generations is right: that the youth really only care about being able to pirate porn over the Internet and that the larger more important issues elude them. I don't want to believe this, but this situation makes me wonder.
So, the youth have proven themselves to be a force to reckon with in the SOPA debate and Occupy. Why did you not turn that power to do battle with the McCain-Levin bill, which challenges rights far more important than downloading LOTR from Pirate Bay. | Why the vehemence and activism among youth about SOPA but not McCain-Levin which attacks a much more basic freedom? |
t3_1dm8yr | AskReddit | Is a mobile phone contract, performed over the phone, binding the company to what was agreed upon? | My contract with Vodafone Australia is nearly up, and I tried to upgrade my phone to a Samsung Galaxy S4. I called the necessary phone number to do the upgrade, and started speaking to a guy about what plans I could get it on.
I asked if I could remain on my current plan (The new ones are quite expensive) and the VF sales rep said that I could, and amazingly, the phone was turning up as $0 per month extra!
I happily accepted this offer, and the rep went through all the terms and conditions. I agreed to everything he said, and thanked him for the awesome deal.
The conversation ended and we both went on our happy ways.
About 45 minutes later however, the same rep called me back and said there was a mistake. I could not get the phone on my old plan for $0, it would be $35 p/m instead.
He also added that there was an extra charge of $270 left on my account (even though I was in my free upgrade period). There was a whole bunch of transfers between departments, and a lot of "only that other department can answer that question."
What I really want to know though, is whether the first agreement that we came to was (even though it might have been an error) legal and binding.
The final person I spoke to said they would get back to me with a final answer within a maximum of 48 hours, this was 72 hours ago. | Vodafone gave me an upgrade over the phone with a great deal, then they called me back to stop that deal |
t3_gxd4r | needadvice | Help! My Dad is leaving our Family after visiting non-licensed psychiatric help. Hates things he used to love. | My Dad is walking out on our Family. Brief: He is 50 and was going through what we considered a mild mid-life crisis. It began with vivid dreams that he was making connections to in his waking life. He is an engineer/scientific mind who now believes he can no longer live in our home if he wants to be the person he was always meant to be. He is even saying things like we are all critical and he can't stand our negative energy. He also wants to go live in the forest alone to concentrate on his inner self.
Even more alarming, he sought guidance from a non-licensed psychiatrist with an MA in Pastoral Counseling, and an interest in Reiki (she is an Advanced Pranic Healer) in recent years she has become an Integrated Energy® Therapy Master-Instructor. She has what I would call "recruited" him to pay a lot of money to go to a persons house once a month and seek counseling over skype with a Kabbalah instructor in California. He is also attending the Interfaith Spiritual Church on weekends.
This stuff is fundamentally changing him, and he no longer enjoys the things in life that he once loved (Hockey, Meat, Friends). He can't stand criticism and takes any questioning of these spiritual healers as negative energy he doesn't want to be around. He left tonight and doesn't plan on coming back anytime soon. Anyone have any guidance? | My dad is going through a mid life crisis and seeking spiritual healing help. He is leaving his family behind in search of a new him. |
t3_2dlt47 | askwomenadvice | I need an insight from ladies on my game. Kinda desperate now | Probably gonna get downvoted to shit for this. BRING IT ON!
So I am 24. Never had a girlfriend. Always had bad luck with them. I always get the friendzone or "You're not my type". I Have concluded that the reason that i am getting this is a nice way of saying "Oh I can do much better than you"
Last week I was hanging out at a bar for my friend's 21st b day. for the weekend we went bar hopping on a friday night and a saturday night again. There were a good many that we ran into. I dont visit bars/clubs often because of my work schedule, but now I thought that it would be the perfect time to try to strike up a conversation and maybe meet a girl and get a number.
The first two women that I held a conversation with claimed to be taken. One had a ring on her middle finger and claimed it to be a wedding ring. Not saying she was lying, but when I was about to leave, she was flirting with another guy who didnt have a ring on.
After that encounter we jumped 2 or 3 bars. By now, my buddy was starting to feel a buzz and it was around 12:00am. on the 4th bar, I finally was starting to have a good time again and was drinking a little more. I still didnt feel too much as I used to be a heavy drinker for 2 years. (was 2 months clean before this. Took some classes and have it under control now! :) ) I walk up to a gorgeous girl who just finished dancing and walked to the bar. As soon as I say "Hey there!" She turns around and asks "what do you want creep?" At that point i raised my beer to her and walked off. My confidence is shot. I know I am not the best looking in the world but still. Not the first time this has happen but still.
Any advice ladies? | I have no game. What do women want? HALP! |
t3_4mgh7t | offmychest | I can see the end. And it's bleak and empty. | I just started dating a guy - the first relationship I've been in in four years. He's really great, even though sometimes I wonder how we ever get along. And the sex is *really* good. But we both graduate college in December, and he's doing an internship starting this summer. He has an apartment up here in our college town, but he's living with his family an hour and a half away for the most part. As for me, my "five-year plan" is to graduate, through-hike the Appalachian Trail, and move out of the country to work and save up for grad school. Our relationship has a fixed end point, even if I'm not exactly sure when that point is, and I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm not sure that he's someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I'd like more than six or eight months to figure that out, if we last that long. Most, if not all, of our collective friends have graduated and are leaving. Change is happening all over the place, and I've never been any good at coping with it. I don't want to look back and wonder what we could have been if we'd had more time, or wish that we could have been more. I've never entered into a relationship with a deadline before, and while I wouldn't go back and undo it, I wish like hell we'd met earlier. | being an adult sucks. |
t3_117qs2 | AskReddit | My friends Mom died 36 hours before her wedding. What can I do to help? | My friend was supposed to get married a few weeks ago. The Thursday before her wedding her mom who had come in from across the Country was not feeling well and stayed in the hotel room while we ran some last minute errands. Later that evening her dad went back up to the room to see how his wife was feeling. She was cold and asked him to cuddle with her and they fell asleep. My friend went up about 30 minutes later to check on her and found that she wasn't breathing. She did CPR on her until the paramedics came but it was too late. The wedding was supposed to be on the Saturday.
They obviously postponed the wedding and she has been out of town for a couple weeks for the funeral and to be with her family. She is coming home later this week.
We've raised a bunch of money for her to help with expenses but I am wondering if there is anything else I can do to help her cope with this loss? I've never had to deal with something like this personally so I am at a loss on how to support her through this.
Any suggestions would be amazing. | My friends Mom died 36 hours before her wedding and I don't know what to do to help her through this. |
t3_1ij1i2 | relationship_advice | Me[19/F] got dumpped bymy boyfriend my [20M/] after a year and 2 months of dating and 2 years of being best friends. | My Boyfriend and I were best friends for 2 years before we started dating.
My ex and I had a strange friend affair . While I was dating my first boyfriend, he(my recent ex) claimed to be in love with me and would show up at my door at all hours of the night to console me while being in love with me. My recent ex then started dating this girl for a year and a half. He claimed he was going to marry this woman and that he was the happiest man of all. Since we were both in relationships he(recent ex) confessed how he did have feelings for me before his girlfriend. I then break up with my boyfriend at the time and realize that i'd really rather be dating my recent ex.
We eventually reached a point where we were both single. ( I had left another man for him) and we start dating. I lose my virginity to him which was a MASSIVE deal to me and I'm convinced that this man is going to be my husband
Slowly the man I love slowly began to die. He stopped caring about my feelings, he stopped saying thank you, he stopped showing me he loved me, he started smoking more weed, started ditching me for his new friends. It hurt
Reddit i gave this man everything, i cooked, i cleaned, i did his chores, i helped pay his bills and payed for dinner, i supported everything he ever wanted to do because i just loved him so much
He then left me. I wanted to take a break because I was so tired of his selfishness and I wanted him to realize what life would be like without me. He ended up saying how he, "couldn't do it any longer" and that a break up is whats needed.
He hasn't msged me or called me or even spoken to his friends about our break up. He has gotten over me and its only been 2 weeks.
I guess I'm asking why it is i've been so easily forgotten. My ego is really hurt and I want to know what to do next. | My ex boyfriend of a year and 2 month (who was also my best friend for 2 years) dumped me and is already over it and its been 2 weeks. How am I so easily forgotten? |
t3_41sicz | legaladvice | Can I confront my employer about unfair pay/ discrimination? (Southern California) | For the last three years I've been working for a small biotech company getting paid a really low wage. About six months ago I asked for a new position and to transfer departments (they needed help). My transfer was approved but I did not receive a raise. I thought huhhh, this is in no way a lateral transfer but I'll give it a few months, maybe I need to prove myself first.
Over the past six months I had far exceeded my department director's expectations by developing a new product in addition to several other projects. My annual review was fantastic (5/5) and he recommended me for a "significant" raise. I asked for a 30% raise because that would place me on the low side of my new position's pay range.
Now about a two months ago the small biotech company I'm working for was bought out by a huge biotech company. About a week ago I asked if my raise had been approved. It was not... surprise! I was told I asked for too much and that I might be able to get a 10% raise. Now in my opinion what I'm currently getting paid is a joke and I believe it to be unethical on this company's part. Based on my research (glassdoor & salary.com), I should be making $15,000 a year more than I'm currently making. I'm pretty certain this large biotech company pays that much or more for people with my job description.
My question is what can I do? I'm a female and I live in CA. A new fair pay law recently passed that says females and males in similar roles need to be making similar wages. I want to know if I can confidently approach my boss/HR with this law? Any advice would be appreciated! I know I should probably quit but I've been boned for too long to just roll over. | i transferred to a higher responsibility position with no raise. Six months later I ask for fair pay (30% raise) and was denied. What can I do? |
t3_2hql8n | offmychest | I can't stand you. | I haven't hated many people in my life. But you. You're one of them. And you know what's sad, I don't think you can help your behavior. But even knowing that, and trying to give you a break, I just can't stand you anymore.
Working with you is like torture. Of 4 of us, you are the only one who can't get things done. You are the only one who has the "worst" days. You are the only one who sees the "worst" clients. See a pattern here? Maybe it's YOU.
We've all tried to give you tips to help you out. And you either don't listen or don't get it. And it's obvious you aren't going to change anytime soon.
You ask for help, but don't actually take it. You have some confidence in yourself, obviously, to be able to make yourself believe you know better than those who have been here long before you. But then you ask 4 or 5 people if you did the right thing after the fact. Why should we continue to help you? When all you do you throw it back into our face?
Even on my days off, there you are. Blowing up my phone to tell me about your horrible day and to ask me a "favor." Screw that. I'm not a child and I'm definitely not your assistant.
You're on your own sweetheart and I hope you screw yourself face first into the ground. | Suck it wench. |
t3_2zg26r | relationships | Me [19 M] with my gf [21 F] wondering If she should talk to her cousin about how she felt about her wedding. | Okay so a little context here I have been dating my gf for 1.5 years now and we talk about everything. Last summer we attended a wedding of her cousin, which i'll call Shelly for this stories sake. Now Shelly and my gf are/were very close growing up and were best friends until Shelly went away for college. This is understandable as Shelly is a decent bit older.
When talking to my gf she stated that she was a little salty about the wedding itself as when they were younger Shelly promised her she would be in the bridal party due to how close they were. Come the wedding time she is told by her mom from the aunt (Shelly's mom) that there is going to be no bridal party just about S and her fiance. Normally only her family would have gone, but her younger sister was going to be on a trip to Europe so she would be more or less alone is terms of age group at the wedding. A few weeks before the wedding Shelly messages her on FB and tells her that she can bring a guest to the wedding if she would like, thats where I came in here.
Once the wedding day itself comes and we are all seated we look up to the alter and what do you know three groomsmen and three bridesmaids. She didnt say much at the time towards it, but now has expressed her anger towards the situation to me in private. She feels like she is over it and being able to bring me was a compensation from Shelly for not having her in the bridal party. I told her I feel like she should tell Shelly how she feels/felt to get it off her chest and let her know that it wasnt right in her book and that she felt decently hurt by the lie/deceit that happened. Not saying she should atone for the actions in place, but at least apologize and talk out their feelings so there is no long term resentment from her. What do you guys think about this, am I right should she talk with Shelly, or should I drop it and allow her to be "over it" in her words? | Gf got lied to by cousin on her wedding day by saying no bridal party when there was one, says she is okay but I think they need to talk about it still. |
t3_shjkb | AskReddit | Its 4am, it's my birthday, and I feel like I'm going crazy | So I've had a pretty weird year so far.
My father whom I hadn't spoken to in 4 years died earlier this year.
I moved to another state to work, and while I've been successful, I've realized I have no social life, and I miss out on major family events.
And to top it all off, while visiting friends in my old college town, I met an amazing girl after being single for two years and I'm not sure if she fell for me in the way I fell for her (which is ok, because expecting that is crazy, which in turn makes me feel even crazier)
I just feel like I'm going fucking nuts. I want to be successful, but can't unless I stay here. I want to pursue this girl, but I have no idea if she feels the same way. And if I move back home I run the risk of setting myself back in my career.
How do you guys deal with things like this? Normally I'd have a drink and wait till I get tired and go to bed, but I know this is one of those nights I'd have to really booze myself to sleep and to be honest, that shit gets old fast. Any life tips or similar stories would be appreciated. | life has been crazy, plenty of opportunity, but none of it lines up. |
t3_1phfmm | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex-ish [20 F] of one and a half years, reading the signs | This girl and I used to date. Were great friends before the dating. But things ended when another guy asked her to be in a relationship. It was fair, I guess, we never had a relationship talk, but it did hurt. She knows it hurt.
Fast forward a year and I moved on, we remained good friends after a short period of distance, now that guy is gone (idk the situation of how it ended), and we've been hanging out a bit again.
The other day we partied together. Now comes the questions. She was drunk and talking to me real close-like. Faces real close, so that I could smell her breath. I have long been resigned to a friendship with this girl and was caught off guard. So I chose not to make a move because I was drunk and wanted to think things out rather than make a drunk spur-of-moment decision. So would you ever talk to a guy face to face like that if you knew you had once hurt him without wanting anything further? (That's a crap sentence) I realize that this is only one signal and its stupid to overanalyze it. So a better question might be: how should I approach this situation? Should I push things slowly and plum for more signals? Or should I outright just ask her whats up? Just looking for opinions. Thanks all! | Past friend hurts dude and now shows interest. How do I approach this? |
t3_skyxv | loseit | So, /r/loseit, at 350lbs., I have entered a contest - 60 days to lose as much fat as I can - and I'm vlogging the whole thing. | So, all the details!
Basically, I have a history of weight issues. I used to weight well over 400lbs, and back in 2005 I went and saw a nutritionist, and on her plan I dropped to as low as 278lbs. Since then, I have fluctuated up and down over time, but never any higher than around 360lbs. I've ranged from her pseudo-paleo diet, to vegetarian, to vegan, to stressed out / fast food.
My friend works at the local crossfit gym, and she convinced me to enter a team contest wherein prizes are given out after 60 days to the following categories:
* Most inches lost
* Most fat lost (percentage)
* Best improvement in overall look
* Grand Prize winner (combination of all three)
* Team that loses the most fat
Cash prizes consist of 1/5 of some $800-$1000 for each category.
I am currently on day 5, and am down significant weight already. This morning I weighed in at 336.5lbs, indicating that I had a lot of water / food / junk in my system when I first weighed in, which was also in the middle of the day (as opposed to my after I first wake up and evacuate weigh time)
The interactive part is that, for both fun and accountability, I have created a YouTube channel where I am vlogging all contest related stuff as well as some personal vlog type stuff that spills in. Feel free to check it out, which I guess is the whole point:
Thanks! | Entering 60 day fat loss competition at starting weight 350, vlogging the process (see link above) |
t3_3bnm10 | relationships | I [15 M] don't know how to talk my lady friend [15 F] | I've had this crush on a girl for the past 6 months, and she knows that I do have a crush on her. We're really good friends and recently we've begun to get closer to what I hope is a relationship.
We're going to town together on what you might call a date to watch a film and just chill around town. We're quite close and relatively comfortable in each other's company. That said, there are always the inevitable awkward silences and moments whenever we talk.
Any tips on what to talk to her about, and how to fill in the awkward silences so that it doesn't get horrifically awkward and she considers going on another one with me? | I'm going into town with my friend, with whom I hope to get together with, and I have no idea what to say to her, or how to fill in the masses of awkward silences that always come up whenever we chill out together. |
t3_1gxo2w | relationships | (m/22) fallen for a (f/22) but work schedules have gotten in the way. | So I met this girl at a local bar a few weeks ago. Got her number and we have been texting and hanging out quite a bit. The highlight is that we spent all day together yesterday, cuddled, kissed briefly and at one point we went to a bar and somebody asked if i was her boyfriend and I believe I caught her nodding yes. She is truly an incredible girl andI feel like a million bucks that she is into me thus far.
I have this crazy deadline at work coming up and I won't see her for 8 straight days. I feel like I am coming off a high on drugs and I am having bad withdrawal. I feel clingy, depressed, sad and having bad anxiety that I will loose her.
Can you guys talk some sense into me? She definitely likes me but I'm trying to figure out how to behave during this time to keep her interested and not show that this so screwing with my emotions that I can't see her. | really fallen for a girl and now in have to work a ton for 8 days and idk how to behave |
t3_9mfiy | relationship_advice | There's a guy who is really obviously moving in on my girlfriend, and it's making me uncomfortable. | She and I have been dating for nearly six months now, and she's just as obviously into me as I'm into her. The guy in question is one of a group of friends she's been hanging out with since she moved away for college. She already has more guy friends than girl friends by far, but up until now they've all been very respectful of the fact that she and I are definitely in a relationship that's pretty rock solid.
The guy I'm worried about (we'll call him Jim) talks to her online constantly, and in one of their more recent conversations, he expressed his feelings for her. She rejected him outright, but he's still been talking to her a lot, telling her things about his life that most people wouldn't tell someone they met a month or so ago. (She told me all of this herself, by the way -- I didn't find out by checking her IM history or anything.)
I'm not worried that my girlfriend is going to be unfaithful, and Jim hasn't done anything to suggest that he might be unstable enough to try and force her into doing anything. Still, though, his (verbal) intimacy with her is putting me on edge. I don't like it.
I don't want to be the asshole boyfriend who chooses who his girlfriend can or cannot hang out with, but barring asking her to stop replying to his IMs, I'm not sure what to do in this situation. | A guy my girlfriend knows has told her that he has feelings for her and talks to her constantly about really personal stuff. What do I do? |
t3_1ij8hn | tifu | TIFU by scorching my nipple | So I was down in the bathroom drying my hair, which takes a rather long time because my hair is pretty long. To pass the time, I turned on some music. Specifically, House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance, which is super upbeat and energetic. Because the song is so great and one of my favorites, I started sort of dancing around while drying my hair.
Well, the hairdryer was a regular Conair. The "nose" of it is plastic, but about a half inch inside is a metal grate (don't know the proper terms). The plastic doesn't get hot, so you could put the hairdryer nose-down on your hand and not get burned.
Then I was dancing around to this great song, using the hairdryer as a microphone ... when my hand slipped. I lost my grip on the hairdryer and it fell toward my exposed boobs as I wasn't wearing a shirt (didn't want my wet hair to soak my dry shirt before I went to bed). I swear it happened in slow motion.
The hairdryer came forward, nose forward, and somehow landed directly on my boob. My nipple made contact with the extremely hot metal grate and I swear I heard my flesh sizzling. I screamed and stepped back while swatting the dryer away. It smashed to the floor and the back popped open.
Of course, my mother was in the house at the time and came down to see what the noise was. Through tears, I managed to gasp out "I'm okay!" she was suspicious, but there's no way in hell I'm admitting what really happened. | fried my milk factory. Read the post. |
t3_1b9g2d | BreakUps | My girlfriend [19f] and I [20m] recently broke up and I'm not sure what to do. | Never really done this type of thing before but I'm at my wits end with this situation and it's make me feel like shit.
My girlfriend [19f] and I [20m] recently broke up after 10 months because she felt that it wasn't like we were boyfriend and girlfriend anymore.
I've been feeling really stressed the past month or so and didn't really feel like I could talk to her and I'm imagining got a lot more distant than usual. I felt like I couldn't really talk to her as I'm her first boyfriend she would tell her friend about everything which I really wasn't comfortable with (and I couldn't just tell her to stop telling her friend anything).
I am in love with her although I haven't told her and I feel like we broke up for essentially nothing and it could have easily been avoided if we had just talked about it, at the time we broke up I was just too stunned to even really reply.
I really don't know if she feels the same about the situation as I do, I don't know if I should just talk about it because I don't want to ruin any chance of a friendship.
I am her first proper boyfriend so everything for her has pretty much been a 'first' and I felt that she didn't really know how to act in a relationship, this meant she talked to her friend a lot who really liked to meddle.
I really have no idea what to do and I really don't want to lose her, we were brilliant together and I'd really like for that to continue.
Does anyone have any advice for me? | Was feeling quite stressed, didn't have anyone to talk to. Girlfriend feels like we weren't BF&GF anymore. What do? |
t3_4g0xae | relationships | I (32F) am getting some unexpected money, would it be crazy/wrong to keep it from my husband (33M)? | My husband and I have been together for 5 years, very happy together and we have no real financial issues. We disagree on stuff occasionally but always come to a resolution.
I am about to change jobs and just found out that my accrued vacation time is going to be paid out to me. The total is a little over $10,000. The money is totally unexpected, we keep a close eye on our budget and don't have any specific need for it.
The idea popped into my head to keep it a secret from my husband. Not for any negative reasons, I just like the idea of having a happy secret that I could surprise him with down the road. Maybe I could plan a surprise trip, or maybe we would get hit with an unhappy surprise bill down the road and I could say, "surprise! I have money that can solve all of this for us!" The idea would not be to hide it permanently, just until we need it for something or I can think of a great, fun way to use it.
Is this a terrible idea? It seems exciting and fun to me but I'm guessing not everyone sees it that way. | I want to keep a $10,000 unexpected windfall from my husband as a surprise to present him with down the road. Fun surprise or bad idea? |
t3_2abb6l | relationships | Me [28 F] with my M [31 M] one night, married | I met this guy at a bar and had the best night of my life with him. Things were more comfortable and amazing than anything I have ever experienced. After a crazy night with a lot of sex I left in the morning with no goodbye. Realizing shortly after I didn't want to just let this go, I went back to exchange contact information. When I went to do so I noticed he now had a wedding ring on his finger. I called him out on it and left in a rage.
Four days later I receive an email via social media from him - he had clearly taken the time to look me up as I did not supply any personal information. He voiced intense interest in me, his displeasure in his marriage and outright said I want to leave my wife. After a number of innocent messages were exchanged, where I explained my disgust and told him I was unwilling to be in any contact with someone who was married he implied he was going to leave his wife, asking me my feelings and how I felt towards him. I told him I was not going to reply to such a question as I did not want my actions or words to effect any decision he may or may not make.
I don't know what his decision will be, but I feel bad even thinking about him. I have never had such chemistry with anyone I've ever met, but I know it is an extremely fucked up situation. What do I do? | Had sex with man who was married, once I found out he told me he wanted to leave his wife and wondered how I felt about him. |
t3_4fengn | personalfinance | Question about taxes for an Independent Contractor. | Hi all and thanks in advance. Google didn't answer my question so I was hoping one of you may be able too.
My wife is an independent contractor as a side job, and is wondering what the requirements are as far as paying taxes go. She was told by other contractors that she should pay quarterly, but since she has made less than $2,000 this quarter, she was wondering if she still has to do quarterly taxes on such a small amount. If she wants to just pay yearly would there be any penalties on an amount that small?
Thanks! | Is there any amount in which you don't have to pay quarterly taxes as an independent contractor? |
t3_2cdg7k | college | Advice for highschooler? | Hi r/college This post might not be the best place to post it but any advice would help me thanks! So, I am becoming a high school senior this fall and I have been doing college searches throughout the summer and starting some idea on what to write for my college application essay. First of all, I have a GPA of 3.09 unweighted, ACT score of 28, and AP Biology score of 3 and I am planning to major in forensic science and more into pathology as well. I know that this isnt good scores for "asian" american, but I was wondering what kind of colleges would fit for me and any colleges would be fine. Thanks for the helps!! | What kind of colleges would accept a student of medium scores in ACT, GPA majoring in forensic science? |
t3_4zj0uq | relationships | I don't like my (25M) friend's (26M) girlfriend (22?F). How do I hope with keeping him a friend? | Anyway, I don't like her. I don't need to go into any details. That's my opinion, and of course I have no justification to act on anything and I've never said anything about it. They've been dating for years and years now, and just got a place together. I think she genuinely makes him happy. She gets drunk and randomly slaps him sometimes, and I know you're all gonna scream abuse on this sub, but I dont see it as my problem either, and I've only seen it happen twice. He's a big boy and I believe he's handled it.
Anyway, I miss just hanging out with my friend. I've noticed that as we get older, it's harder and harder to get friends to spend time away from girlfriends. I guess its mostly fine, since I am friendly with all the other girlfriends in our circle. I just don't like this one. This girlfriend generally has mixed relations within our circle. Some don't mind her, other feel like me.
How to deal? Miss my buddy quite a bit. We used to do lots of things together, but she's usually there when we hang out, and it would it, for me. | I don't like spending time with a close friend anymore because if his girlfriend, which I don't like very much. How to deal and keep the friendship? |
t3_2r2rvg | tifu | TIFU by apologising to a teacher | This happened during math class when there was only ten minutes left until everyone could leave, we were solving an equation with an asshole teacher when I accidentally dropped my pencil. I quickly went to pick it up and sit back down, but the teacher was in the middle of explaining how to solve the question so he decided that I did it on purpose so I could be rue to him and told me "Why are you interrupting, could you explain the question? if not shut up and return to your seat or stay in after class ."
At this point I was getting pissed so without thinking I said "Sorry it was an accident". The teacher then decided to take offence to what i just said and send me to isolation and keep me in after the day ended. | Dropped my pencil and picked it up so teacher said shut up then I apologised and got put in detention. |
t3_1g6far | relationships | Help! I pick broken relationships and I crave attention! How do I stop? (25f) | I don't know why I keep putting myself through this... (25/female)
I was in an incredible 5 year relationship and my boyfriend left me for another girl completely out of no where. We talked about getting married and children so I was completely caught off guard by all of this. I honestly didn't have a very hard time getting over him because I know I deserve better than that and I would say I'm a pretty tough person (not manly, just not very emotional).
Now 5 years later, I'm still single and can't manage to find/stay in a relationship.
Every guy I meet I think they are going to leave me (even when things are great). And every relationship I'm in starts off really good and strong then completely crashes... I try everything in my power to keep the relationship going even when it isn't working.
Currently, I've been seeing a guy (28) for 3 months. Technically we are FWB but we don't sleep with other people... We went from seeing each other 3 times a week and now I only see him once every 2 weeks (he's very busy) and I'm not cool with it, but I'm still stuck to him. The prior relationship, we were FWB for 10 month and I was crazy about him... Didn't work out because I moved out of the country temporarily, but we are still friends and I'm still crazy about him. What do I put up with this?
When I'm not in the presence of the person I'm dating I crave attention from other guys (not physical just talking and acknowledgment). I feel like I've developed a small attention whore persona in a way, I'm not loud and obnoxious in anyway, I just want the attention on me. I hate that I'm like this and I can't stop.
I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations. Don't have the money to go to a therapist either :( I'm open to any questions or suggestions!
-Is there something I'm doing wrong?
-Is there a way I can get over this?
-Why do I keep doing this to myself when I know I deserve better? | I love trying to keep a broken relationship going and I always want attention... I know it's unhealthy, how do I stop? |
t3_1labsc | relationships | Me[20M] with my now ex-fiance [20F] 5 years, she needs her space, so what do I do? | Hi everyone,
I don't want to get in to too much detail. She broke up with me because I have had a bad temper and frequent lashing out at her. I don't blame her, I guess.
This whole thing's been a wake-up call and now I'm going to counseling for the first time (something she suggested before, but I didn't do it, which could have saved things).
I'm dealing with things okay, but the worst thing is that from after work until I go to sleep, I literally have nothing to do. I go to the gym, run, swim, but I can only do those for so long.
And when I'm idle, my mind goes to thinking about her and everything we could have done.
Any suggestions? Anyone else out there in a similar situation? I try to pass the time by playing League of Legends and other games, but it's not working. | No more girl = too much free time = lonely and bored. |
t3_qhutg | relationships | I've decided to break up with GF, but I want opinions on whether it's acceptable to do so while she's abroad | I'm 25 M dating a 25 F for about 8 months; we don't live together. It's been a decent relationship, some problems here and there, but I've finally decided we just aren't right for each other. So I need to break up with her.
Here is the problem. She's currently in Africa for a med school rotation (we live in the US). She's been there for two weeks and has another three weeks to go. I was feeling uneasy about our relationship before her leaving, but the last two weeks alone has allowed me to reflect on our relationship and realize I really don't want to be with her.
Not sure how relevant it is, but a sort of co-decision I was making while deciding whether to break up was to accept an offer from my company to move overseas for a couple years. So while breaking up with her, I'll also be informing her I'm packing up and leaving mid-April.
Is it acceptable to break up via skype? We've been skype-ing 2 or 3 times per week so far. On the one hand, I feel like a scumbag breaking up over the internet when I can do it in person after she gets back. On the other hand, it just doesn't seem fair to her or me to go through the motions for the next 3 weeks when we're talking or emailing - saying I miss her, that I love her, etc. It's basically outright lying to her.
So what are your thoughts? Thanks. | We're on different continents for a few weeks, acceptable to break up over video chat? |
t3_oe6w3 | loseit | Oh Taco Bell... | Hey there r/loseit. I've been lurking this subreddit for a while, and I find myself closing the page when I've read through everything, and reopening it to realize that all the links have already been clicked through.
I lost 13 pounds last year and actually made it to 149 before I gave in to the stress of finals and started eating terribly, and stopped going to the gym. I gained it all back. I decided to start fresh this year and I've lost about four pounds since I started on the 1st. Today, I gave in again. I went to Taco Bell.
I was trying to fall asleep last night, when I kept imagining a warm, heavy, grilled stuffed burrito held gently between my hands. I could smell it, and taste it, and as much as I tried to imagine the weight of it ending up as an extension of my already expansive stomach, I couldn't kick the feeling of wanting it *so very badly*.
I told my mom I was going out to eat with a friend. I was already regretting my decision, but the shame of having already set up the lie made me crave it even more. Like always, I ordered more than I could eat. I scurried to my car, where I bathed in the smell of my burrito-hot-boxed car, and went to town on it. I got about a third of the way through before I thought of you guys, and how disappointed I knew you all would be. Now, the burrito and its friend are sitting in a bag in my room, and I can't justify eating them nor can I throw them away.
I have a problem that I've never admitted to before. I need to stop hiding what I eat and lying about it to my family. | The way I think about food is very nearly pornographic. |
t3_2mon8g | relationships | Help me (24/F) let go | About a week ago, I ended things with my boyfriend because he wanted an open relationship and I didn't. He was my first relationship, both sexual and emotional and one of my best friends. We were compatible in every way except for the fact that he wanted this open relationship. It's hard to imagine that I will ever find someone I am this compatible with again. I see good-looking guys on the street and don't find myself attracted to them. Guys at work will make me laugh and I don't find myself feeling any fondness for them. All I want is him.
I think I made the right choice. I didn't want the open relationship and was emotionally honest. That being said, I cannot let go of the fantasy that he will change his mind. He was very, very sad and upset when I ended things, so now I keep imagining scenarios in which he realizes that he does not want to lose me. Part of my realizes that's stupid, but another part of me thinks back on all we shared and how happy we made each other and does not think it's impossible.
Even if he did call me and tell me he changed his mind, I don't even know how I would or should react. Sometimes when I think about it, I imagine us starting over again and taking it slow. Sometimes I imagine us not getting back together after all.
Ultimately though, what I want is to let go of this fantasy. I don't want to look and feel better and think "If only he could see me now." I want to feel better for me. I want to stop thinking that he will change his mind. I want to close the door fully but I don't know how. | Help me let go of the fantasy that my first love will come back to me. |
t3_3a4wp8 | relationships | I[18M] really like a girl [16F],Need advice on the first step. | I'm lost.
I've started talking with a girl last friday. I've met her in 2013 but I've not talked to her since 2014. She messaged me last friday, asking me how I was doing and so on, we started talking about our lives.
Since last week I've picked her up from her school 3 times and drove her home, she invited me inside all of those times, where we used to sit for 3-4 hours talking and giggling. I've met her parents, she told me that they liked me. Whenever I leave her house she gives me a hug.
Everytime we talk, she stare deeply into my eyes, and so do I. I miss her whenever I'm not with her. My stomach is filled with butterflies, I really like her.
I don't want to text her / call her too often , because it may look like I'm trying hard.
I'm 18 years old, she is 16, I've never had a relationship, I need some advices on what to do next. I don't want things to go wrong. | I really like a girl, Don't know how to go for the first kiss. / Afraid of getting rejected. |
t3_2u4xun | relationships | I [29M] fucked up and broke up with my girlfriend [28F] of 8 years last summer, I really miss her now and want her back. | We were together for 8 years. I met her in college. Some years were great and some years were bad. I broke up with her last summer because we were arguing a lot and I decided we both deserved better. We had talked about getting married sometimes. I know she wanted to, and I did too, but I for some reason felt like I couldn't commit.
It hurt for a long time. I thought the hurt would go away. But I still miss her and the more I think about it the more I realize I made a mistake and I think I was just running from commitment. Which sounds ridiculous now because we were together for so long, but I guess I was afraid of feeling trapped.
I have tried dating around. I thought a rebound girlfriend would help me. It did when I was younger. But every girl I'm with now just makes me think how little they are like my ex. And how much I miss her. And even though we fought a lot, how perfect we were. She always put up with me.
We don't talk any more but I know through friends that she misses me. She doesn't have a new boyfriend yet either. Should I try contacting her again? I really can't think of living my life with any other woman but her.
What do I do? If someone has gone through this can you please tell me what to do to fix this? | I stupidly broke up with my long term girlfriend of 8 years and I realize what a huge mistake I made and I want her back. I really fucked up and I want to make it up to her and be with her again. |
t3_3l5w05 | relationships | Me [19/F] just found out my ex [18/M] of seven months, cheated on me three times while we were together. | We we're together seven months. In that time he cheated on me three times, the third time I actually knew about (until now) is the reason we broke up. (He cheated on me with his ex)
We've been broken up for nearly two months now and I'm talking to someone new. But it still makes me angry, and at the same time really really sad. How could he do that? Was everything a lie? Should I even let it upset me? How stupid am I?!
And just like that, the shirt you gave me that meant so much to me, becomes just another shirt hung up in my wardrobe. | I've just found out my ex cheated on me three times, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. |
t3_k2udw | AskReddit | Is the Real World as bad as it feels like it's going to be? | Hi Reddit, recent college grad here. The last few months I've been working on an application to the Peace Corps, but just yesterday I was offered a job at an IT consulting firm. The pay is extraordinary, and everyone I know is pushing me towards taking it. The thing is, I feel like my life as I've known it for the last 21 years will come to an end. I don't want to become another "job I hate for shit I don't need" guy. I guess my question is: how different is the working life from college / high school life? | College graduate scared of entering workforce. Help. |
t3_pf3rd | AskReddit | So I think someone just stole my social security number. | Sitting here at the office when I get a call from an 866 number regarding a job application. Except I haven't applied for a job in about 10 months now. Automated voice asks "is this derp derpington, (Not actual name obviously)." I say yes, then i'm transferred to a woman. Phone interview starts, I ask the lady how they have my personal info, of which she stated my social, date of birth, and both of my email accounts accurately. She says I had applied for a position online. Long story short I think someone has my info, ran a credit check nothing came up. What the fuck should I do? | Think someone stole my identity to get a job. What steps do I need to take to make sure this person isn't going to wreck my credit? |
t3_4u7tbd | tifu | TIFU by hunting Pokémon and then having a bath | I posted this a few days ago, but for some reason it was removed and was told to post it on the weekend because it's NSFW, which slightly baffled me, so here it is.
So, at the moment in the UK we are having a horrendous heatwave. Last night, myself and a few of my chums went out hunting for pokemon and walked around for a good 5 hours or so.
I returned home and decided a nice hot bath was in order to soothe those long neglected muscles of mine. I immersed myself in the water whilst browsing reddit, as you do, before promptly dozing off due to the aforementioned extreme exercise.
I woke up 3 hours later in a cold bath and noticed my lovely iPhone resting on my chest. Half asleep, I threw the extortionately priced piece of plastic on the floor, got into bed and went back to sleep.
Woke up today with stomach cramps and managed to only shit myself a teeny weeny bit (thanks, IBS) before making it to the toilet. I noticed my phone still lay on the floor of the bathroom and thought yes, a bit of browsing while I shit my life out. Lo and behold, the phone wouldn't turn on. After cleaning my arsehairs thoroughly and taking the stupid thing apart, I realised what had happened.
As I said, we're having a serious heatwave at the moment. Turns out when it's hot outside and you run yourself a nice hot bath you sweat a lot. Who'd've thunk it, right? Whilst I was sleeping in the bath and my phone was resting on my chest, it appears that my sweat soaked through the stupid plastic casing and into the bones of it. FYI, iPhone's are not sweat proof. | didn't drop my phone in the bath, destroyed it anyways AND I shat myself. |
t3_1oiqcn | relationships | Me [32M] need to end things with my girlfriend [23F] of 1 month because there's someone else. How honest should I be when breaking it off? | I spent much of this year dating several women casually, and decided to commit to my girlfriend, let's call her A, about a month ago. Things have been good, but not great. I haven't felt a lot of chemistry with her and we don't seem to have much of an emotional connection. I realize I may have committed to her too quickly, and that's all on me.
Before I committed to A, I had been dating another girl (29F), let's call her B. I had strong feelings for B, but she had not expressed interest in a relationship, and we went our separate ways when I decided to commit to A. However, B and I met for coffee a week ago, and she said wants to be in a relationship with me. We had a very long talk about things, and after thinking it over, I decided that I want to end things with A and pursue things with B.
I am seeing A tomorrow to end things, and I am wondering what is the best way to go about it? I want to be honest with her, but I also don't want to hurt her. Should I be honest and tell her there's someone else, or should I make up another reason for breaking up with her? | I need to end a month-long committed relationship because I met someone else. How honest should I be about the other person (if at all) when I end things with her? |
t3_1sco4i | tifu | TIFU by thinking a guy calling me was one of those annoying recording phone calls | This actually happened a couple months ago, but I guess I forgot to write about it. It probably wasn't that bad of a fuck up, but I still feel like a complete asshole for it.
First a little back story: A few years ago I was visiting my family in the US (I grew up and live in Brazil), a woman fighting for gay rights on the street coerced me into registering myself and to make a donation. As a bisexual, I am all for gay rights, but I've never been a big fan of people on the streets just insisting on you to register and give them money, but since I am a push-over, it was exactly what I did.
Since I live in Brazil, I just gave my grandparent's address. Which was probably not the best idea since they are kinda homophobic.
Fast forward a year or so, and I am visiting my grandparents again. I am in a hurry to go out to do something, and the phone rings for me, which is odd since I don't live there.
I picked it up and hear a very electronic voice on the other side: "Hi! We are calling you on behalf of the Gay Rights Blablabla Association to...". I really really thought it was one of those recordings, and panicked because I didn't want my grandfather to find out, so I yelled out "OH MY GOD!" and immediately hung up.
My dad, who was the one who originally picked up the phone looked at me a bit surprised and just said: "Why did you do that?" and I explained him that I didn't want them calling me there because of my grandfather and stuff and I wasn't in the mood to deal with those electronic messages. He then told me it was actually a guy named Steve. I immediately felt like a complete asshole for doing so and could never call the number back and had no idea what the association's name was.
So I am sorry for being an asshole Steve! If you are out there reading this, I am sorry! If anyone knows a Steve working for some kind of gay association, please tell him I am sorry!
Thank you for listening! | yelled "OH MY GOD!" and hung up on a gay's rights activist because I thought it was a recorded phone call, feel like a complete asshole for it. |
t3_379zev | college | I know this is a terrible idea. I just want to know how terrible it is. | Long story short I was accepted into a small liberal arts college with the highest scholarship they offer and, on top of that, I am excused from all general education requirements. This is fantastic for me and it is wonderful that I have this opportunity. So, naturally, I want to take advantage of this opportunity.
Now, the terrible idea is coming. Since third grade I have been wanting to become a chemist. So I plan to major in chemistry. My degree would be ACS certified also, and I would graduate with honors if everything goes well. (If I cannot find a suitable project or if I do not qualify I can graduate without honors without problem.) On top of this, I have been the top mathematics student at my school since kindergarten. I excel at mathematics and everything just seems to click. I know it is different in college and I want to experience that difference so I plan to also major in it with honors if possible (again, not definite). A double major is not terrible for most people and I should be fine. With the two majors and zero general education requirements I have 36-48 credits (48 is overloading, 36 is without overloading) and I plan to fill those up with music courses. I have played piano for 16 years of my 18 year lifespan, so music is important to me. Would it be worth it to consider self designing a third major in music? It only adds 12 credits I was not originally planning to take and if need be I have the ability to go for a fifth year. | Triple major. Chemistry (ACS, maybe honors), mathematics (maybe honors), music (self-designed). Able to be completed in 4 years while overloading. Have the ability to go for 5. How screwed am I? |
t3_429xae | tifu | TIFU by linking a girl the trololo song. | Heyo, this happened last night.
A little background. I'm a bit socially awkward, because i was bullied in the past, and i have a bit of social anxiety, and it's a bit hard for me to talk to girls ergo, the fuck up.
I met a girl about two weeks ago, let's call her (Ashley) I kind of liked and figured she liked me as well when i went out with some friends, i talked to my friend about me, in a way directed at her to see her reaction and she seemed interested.
We liked each others random posts on Facebook, fast forward to last night, she hit me up with a message on fb, saying I look like a guy from some band when he was young, needles to say, i panicked. So i tell her "Right?, Nobody believes me when i tell i look like him." She thinks that everybody tells me that, i come clean admitting i don`t know the guy, she asks me if i am making fun of her. I say that maybe a little, "But you were so hyper i though i would join in." She says : "The fuck, Anon. :))))".
And here is the fuck-up. I link her the trololo song, and say "life is too short to be sad","Serious, not sad". She saw my messages and didn't reply since. About 3 hours later i say: "Soo, What's up? Did i offend you? I panicked." Still no reply.
Whenever i think about what i said i cringe. :) | Could have kicked it off with a girl, but i panicked and ruined it with my internet meme game. |
t3_2ko1bs | relationships | Me [22F] with my SO [21] 2 years, he said some things that really turned me off today. | I don't really want to get too deep into our relationship but we've been together for two years and get along great. I am 22 and he is 21. He never seemed to be a misgoynist although he did make comments about girls calling them 'sluts' that would upset me every so often but I brushed it off even though I don't think it's okay.
Three things happened today:
1.He saw a someone post a picture of a guy dressed as Ray Rice with a female doll tied to his side. He found it funny, I found it abusive. His reasoning was 'why is it okay for people to dress as fictional killers but not real people?' i.e Freddy Kruger, Jason and so on..
2.I saw a picture here that had someone asking their friend to borrow their hijab so they could dress as ISIS for Halloween. I found that offensive and boyfriend said there wasn't anything wrong with that as Muslims are in ISIS. That upset me.
3.He watched the go pro New York woman video. He laughed and called it the most stupid video ever and said that if the woman hadn't been catcalled once that entire day she would have probably gone home upset. Also said that it definitely wasn't harassment and if she didn't like it she should have told the men to stop.
I love my boyfriend and no, there's no changing his mind on this. I'm really really turned off by his attitude on these three things though and I feel as if it may be a deal breaker. We spoke about it and he wouldn't take my opinions seriously and ended up teasing me and laughing. Is this too little to end a relationship on? Am I overreacting? I know not everyone will share the same views as I do but I do expect my SO to and if he doesn't, not to bash my views. I'm sorry if this is all over the place as I am still a bit upset. | boyfriend finds offensive things funny, I don't. |
t3_1dbh4x | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, have you ever avoided a consequence by sheer luck or had a close call but got off scott-free? | Have you ever been facing a consequence that would change your lifestyle or future and somehow gotten out of it? I recently finished a probation sentence and during the meeting my PO asked if I was going to piss clean. I was not positive that I was clean but I hadn't smoked weed for at least 4 weeks. When he asked me I told him that I would pass and that I would rather save my money than take a test test that I would pass. He asked me one more time if I would pass and I said I would again. I got out of the test and was off probation at the end of that meeting. | Talked my way out of a piss test that could've potential failed. |
t3_2lo2rw | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 3 months, don't understand why she wants to go out | I realise I might not be understanding something vital here.. but, as far as I know, people go out to mainly meet new people, and girls get all dressed up and stuff to find a potential mate.
Now, what if i'm dating this girl and we have cuddled and kissed and it's going all good, but she still goes out with her girls - all dressed up, has drinks.. and doesn't even text me once in the entire evening. I might be missing something here. Or I might be a drama queen or smth. It's just that I don't want to waist time on this girl, if she's not serious about me.
As a guy, I see it being quite pointless to go out and do all of this, if there is already a person I'm in a relationship with. That makes me start thinking if I am not just the backup plan, while she is looking for someone better. I get mad just imagining this being the case! But at the same time, there might be other reasons why she does that.. like meeting new people or whatever.. but then again - you don't need to wear tiny skirts to meet new friends (which is what she did).
All I need is an objective view on this, because my judgement might be clouded by the emotions I'm feeling towards her. | A girl I've been seeing for a while is dressing up and going out without me and I'm struggling to understand why |
t3_itvpq | AskReddit | How can I explain evolution to a good friend that believes in Genesis? | My friend is a really nice guy and he loves to party and stuff, but last night he was not too happy when someone said that evolution is real. He went on about how if it were real then why haven't we evolved yet? or why are there still monkeys and stuff. Like he's a real nice guy and whatever, but I don't want him making a fool of himself telling people that the garden is real and all that stuff. Also, last night we were all drunk (yes we drank on a Monday night, Whateves) and I said: "I think it's funny that God created light the first day but didn't make a light source until the 3rd or 4th day hahaha". And he gave me a death stare. | How do I explain evolution without angering my friend for disputing his beliefs? |
t3_3cot1c | relationships | My (33f) mom (56) has been taking ambien for over 5 years | I'm worried about my mom's dependency on the drug ambien. She began having sleep problems after her bout with cancer and began taking ambien to help her fall asleep. She gets it as often as she can, and I know she's willing to be dishonest with doctors to get what she wants, but I don't know how she gets it prescribed so much. She used to take other pm medications to help her while waiting when she couldn't get it, but I recently found out my uncle (who lives with her) is getting a prescription to give her.
I know she's not taking it recreationally, she truly does only take it to sleep, but I also know she had a meltdown one night when she couldn't get it.
I know she likely has some mental health issues related to her cancer and I'm unsure if the drug dependency is making matters worse.
How big of a problem is ambien used continuously for years? Should I be focused on helping her get help with her ambien use, or her other mental health issues (which she adamantly refuses are problems, and doesn't believe in counseling)?
My brother seems to think all the problems are linked with the drug addiction (my sister-in-law keeps saying intervention time), but the more research I do I feel that many of her issues point to her needing she help with depression instead. | mom's dependant on ambien to fall asleep and depressed |
t3_x8hqk | relationship_advice | Is this too clingy? | My boyfriend is a geek and he has always been a bit of a flirt.. But no girls are usually into him. He's wanted me for about 2 1/2 years now and we've been together for technically 2 months, but been official for one month. He is right now going on about some model girl he saw today and how she is "the most beautiful/attractive girl I have seen in person in a VERY long time" and it kinda stung. Is this too clingy? He also talks about this other girl who he has conversations with on Facebook all the time and how she's trying to get in his pants and stuff and how she flirts with him and I stay cool about it all and make it seem like it doesn't bother me, but it does. And he's told me he flirts back and stuff. At the beginning of our relationship, we were talking about when we liked each other before and stuff and when I asked about those "other girls" he talks about he said he was just trying to make me jealous at that time (it was maybe a year ago? And also a bit recently this year). He said he wasn't going to do that any more/he didn't have to do that any more.. So I'm kind of at a loss here... I feel like I'm being WAY too clingy by letting this bug/hurt me. He has no clue that I feel this way at all because I don't want to come off as some crazy psycho bitch. He will randomly bring up girls he sees at bus stops and such here and there... Is he trying to get rid of me? Is he trying to make me jealous? Is he just telling me these stories about these amazing girls? I don't know, but it's making me feel really shitty about myself, like I'm not good enough for him to be honest. Is this all way too clingy? Please let me know. Thanks! | My boyfriend talks about other girls and how amazingly beautiful they are and it's starting to make me feel bad about myself, like I'm not good enough or something. Is this too clingy? |
t3_2v2jq8 | relationships | I [20M] can't seem to get over my crush [18F] and I don't know how to proceed. | First, a little recap. Basically, about three months ago, I went out on a date with my year-long crush. Unfortunately, I was an idiot. I didn't communicate well, was wrecked by nerves, and said a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have said, effectively ruining any chance I had of starting a relationship with her. On her side, the timing was off. She just may not have been ready for a relationship.
This hurt at the time, put I seemed to have pulled through. We are still good friends, which is more than I could have hoped for after our awkward encounter. We text regularly (we go to different universities) and everything has been good for a while.
Unfortunately, I've "relapsed" I guess you could say. Lately, every time I talk to her or exchange pictures via Snapchat all my feelings I had for her keep rushing back. It makes me feel bad, because I should be able to move on but I haven't. **I can't break contact with her** because she is still a good friend and I value that more than anything. I know that's what a lot of people would tell me to do, but...I just can't.
Should I tell her I still have feelings for her and that we need to work something out? I'm afraid that would damage our friendship and make me look needy. Is there anything I can do to get her out of my head? Thinking of her makes me feel happy, but after the fact I'm frustrated because I haven't moved on.
I still believe that we would be good together. A lot went wrong that night on my end and I feel like I could do so much better given a second chance. But I also think that too much time has passed for her to consider giving me a second chance. I just don't know where to go from here, whether I should tell her I still like her or try and purge my feelings away somehow. Thanks. | I haven't been able to move on from a screwed up date and get over a crush. I don't know if I should tell her about it or somehow force myself to get over it (I have no idea how). This is all new to me. |
t3_51xkvv | relationships | Me [22F] with BF [24M] of 9 months. He's starting to sound really serious about our relationship and all my friend say that this early it's a red flag. | Basically the title. I love my boyfriend more than anything and anyone and he seems to feel the same. We've been living together for the majority of our relationship and we've known each other for a few months before we got together. I'm really happy and to be honest I can't imagine my life without him, although I don't feel confident enough to say this out loud yet.
However, my boyfriend apparrently has the courage to say such things, because lately he's been very casually mentioning a very distant future with me. He told me he'd like to always be together and started joking about having kids. He also casually joked that my name sounds nice with his surname.
I am quite happy to hear that, regardless of whether we actually will stay together or not. I love him and the idea seems nice. All I care about is that this sounds like I make him happy.
However, as soon as my friends heard about this, both from me and him (for example mentioning future work after he graduates, having a dog etc.) they all decided that it's a red flag, that he's dependent, needy and naive and that it's too soon to say such things.
Tbh I don't see it, but I may be blinded by the honeymoon phase or just inexperience in serious relationships.
Do you think this is a red flag? If so then what do I do? | boyfriend says stuff that sounds like he wants to stay together forever. I am happy to hear that, but my friends claim that since we've been together only 9 months, saying things like this is an extreme red flag and that I should run. What do, reddit? What do? |
t3_37hl8o | relationships | My [F34] ex husband [M33] is dying. I'm not really sure what my place is. | We were together for 12 years and we divorced 3 years ago. Anyway, I moved on, remarried about 6 months ago to a wonderful man. Yesterday I received a call from my ex's mother and she said that he has been fighting cancer for a while now and she thinks I should go and see him.
I went almost immediately. When I got there, we hugged for 5 minutes or so, not saying anything. He looked so skinny. I asked him why he didn't call me and he said that "he didn't want to bring me down.... like [he] always [does]". I remember in one of the last conversations that we had, that I told him that I was too good for him, that he just brings me down. We were in the middle of a divorce, emotions were running high, but I guess he must have taken it to heart. He was really upset and crying. He was also on something, I assume morphine. After that he just kept asking me to go "please go, please go." Eventually he called the nurse, who came and asked me to leave.
I feel horrible and I don't know what to do. I didn't speak to his doctor because I was only there for 10 minutes, if that. Later that night I called his room and after I said that it was me, he hung up. His mother said that "this might be it." I don't feel right, just leaving things the way they are, but that seems to be what he wants. He doesn't have any siblings, never really had friends and as far as I know, he's not dating anyone. So it's just his mom that's there. What should I do? Keep trying to see him or leave him alone? | My [F34] ex husband [M33] is dying. I'm not really sure what my place is. I went to see him but he asked me to leave. |
t3_o8guo | offmychest | Just ventin' my mind | Okay it's late at night, got to get up early tomorrow but can't catch sleep, so here is the story:
I am a pretty normal 16 year old boy, atleast that is what I used to think. This opening of my mind happened when I started seeing a therapist about me constantly being down, low-self esteem, and this one girl that drove me crazy (and not in the remotely good way)
No, she cut (past tense) herself, she thought nobody loved her and all that, when I met her I was nice to her, this apperently meant a lot to her and we became best friends, well that was when she was feeling well, ifnot then i would feel powerless and frustrated for not being able to help her. After realising that her problems were too big for me to handle I suggested she should go into therapy and she agreed. Skip ahead a few weeks. I had a girlfriend that I really loved, the other girl didn't seem to like that an awful lot (probably because of her massive obsession with "the only guy that has ever loved me") so she was quite relieved when I got dumped (i of course were not) Me, being in a vonarable position looking for love, turned to my best friend. We dated for a while, then my therapist said something I still don't really understand, "She is obsessed with the image she has created of you in her head, not you" and my therapist advised to break off contact (we are in the same classes so that is impossible). I broke off contact, felt quite better for a while and now I'm back were I started: broken, no self esteem and a giant frustration.
That isn't all, I also never have had a social life (mainly because I never had an example) which doesn't make my life all that fun. So lately these problems of mine took over and now I can't sleep, because of the despair and frustration.[b] | I'm a pussy who can't sleep because of a few problems[/b] |
t3_1v0qld | relationships | Earlier today I [29 M] broke up with my gf [27 F] of two years. I did it in a particularly hurtful way (unintentionally!) to a particularly vulnerable person. My sense of freedom has quickly worn off. How do I cope with the guilt--how much is appropriate? | It should be noted that she has naturally low self-esteem (history of sexual assault, anorexia). I wanted to do this kindly, but I couldn't have done this worse if I'd tried.
The breakup was a shock to her. During the breakup conversation, she pointed out that: I had been telling her I loved her all week, and I recently said I was serious about marriage, and that we spent five wonderful days together for new years (we're long-distance relationship), and I told her I loved her and made love to her. She kicked me out after 15 min telling me she thought I wasn't even behaving like the real me.
Why the shock? Because we're long-distance, I was really INTENTIONALLY trying to avoid indicating that anything had changed until I saw her. | I crushed the self esteem of a girl with chronically low self esteem. How do I cope with the guilt -- how much is appropriate? |
t3_4dpqzm | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] 2.5 years, he told me he cheated on me when he was on vacation | My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Tonight, I bought him balloons and a card stating that I loved him and I was happy he got into a school he had applied for. He started crying, hugged me and said he didn't deserve me. He proceeded to talk about his issues with porn and that I was perfect. After that was spoken, he told me he cheated on me with a random in LA.
I am at a loss.. It makes sense now, since we had sex twice since he came back. He wasn't able to keep hard the first time, and the second time he had no issue.
I don't know where to go... This all happened mere hours ago. I walked out without saying anything. He called an hour after I left.
Do I give him another chance? Do we try to work on our problems? I don't understand. My feelings are crestfallen. Should I call him tonight? I'm so lost. Can you ever trust anyone after that? | Boyfriend of 2.5 years cheated on me with a random on vacation, confessed it to me in a state of guilt. What do I do? |
t3_1lxa1f | relationships | She[23f] is having her 2nd ACL surgery in 2 weeks. I[22m] can't be there for her. Advice please! | So my friend tore her ACL and is having surgery in 2 weeks, but I can't be there for her because she is 315 miles away. Her dad and dog will be there.
We are not official BF/GF, but I want to send her flowers for her to look at in her apartment after the surgery. I am going to see her in 1 week for the weekend.
Should I give her something when I see her, or have flowers delivered to her apartment? If when I see her-what do I give, since the flowers probably wouldn't survive another week? If delivered-how do I do it so they arrive when she's there?
I wish I could be there for her! :( | I don't know if I should give her something in person, or have flowers delivered to her to see after surgery. |
t3_1r4okp | pettyrevenge | Tailgate me? Teamwork pays off. | I'm on a four-lane highway in the left hand lane, going about 70mph, which was 15 over the speed limit. The highway is pretty empty, save me, a car about 200 yards ahead in the left lane, and a car fast approaching me from behind.
Despite NOBODY being in the right lane, this woman rides so close to my bumper I can see what color lipstick she is wearing. The right lane is completely open. If 15mph over isn't fast enough, she can get over and pass me. The car in front of me gets over to the right lane, and suddenly, I had an AMAZING idea.
With the woman still attached to my rear bumper and refusing to get over, I catch the car in the right lane and slow to meet his speed at about 60mph. It's a younger male, in his 20s, driving a newer Mustang. I honk to try to get his attention, and finally he looks. I motioned my thumb back, he saw the woman, nodded, I pointed at me and him, and then made an "ease off" motion with my hands. He laughed for a few seconds and gave me the thumbs up.
We slowed it down to 45mph on the 55mph highway, hit cruise, and stayed beside each other for the next HOUR while the lady is angrily switching lanes back and forth, tailgating each of us, making obscene gestures, and pointing at her cell phone. Finally, the guy beside me honked, pointed to an exit and waved. I thumbs up'd the guy, mouth'd "Thank you", and he turned off.
The woman behind me SHOT by with middle finger out the window, and I can literally hear her screaming through my closed window. Mission accomplished. | Lady tailgates me, I work with some awesome guy to go slow and block her from passing us for the next hour. |
t3_o1j8p | AskReddit | My ex-boyfriend stole my spare key and pawned my laptop. | My ex and I broke up back in July, since then he occasionally sleeps on the couch because he does not have a place to live or a job. A couple of weeks ago I went out of town for the weekend, he had stayed over the night prior. I got back Sunday and saw my $1,200 gaming laptop and a $120 messenger bag were gone. I then looked in the desk where I keep my spare key, it was gone too. He did not leave with a backpack or anything, he had taken my spare and came back over the weekend and took the laptop and bag. I spent a week trying to hunt him down, him avoiding me etc. He doesn't have a phone. I found out where he staying so my cop friend went over there once a day but he would never answer. I finally caught him leaving one morning. He said he would go get the laptop and contact me in a hour. He would not tell me where he was going or let me give him a ride. I got a call from an investigator this morning saying she had records that it was pawned, so he apparently went to buy it back since he knew the heat was on. I did get my items back. I also retrieved his backpack from a mutual friend which had a smartphone in it that was not his. I took it, called the owner and the guy said it was stolen from a local bar my ex frequents. My bike was also stolen 1 month ago, now I'm wondering if that was him too. I recovered it last week, it was supposedly in an unpaid storage unit. We have had no contact since I got my stuff back, should I just drop it or press charges? | My ex is a thief and liar. Should I go ahead and press charges even though I got my stuff back to help stop his petty thefts? Or let it go? |
t3_1bm8nb | relationships | Me (35F), my mother (70F), and trying to avoid a violent sister (38F) who lives with her. | I live 3 hours away from the rest of my family; I was planning on taking a day trip to see my mom and other family members soon. I haven't been up there in almost a year.
My mentally ill, violent sister has recently moved in with my mom (that's a whole other mess). I would really, REALLY like to avoid seeing her if at all possible -- our last contact involved her screaming obscenities in my face; she also has a physically abusive history towards myself, her significant others, and other family members.
My mom can't drive at the moment, so I can't really ask her to come to me. I'm afraid that if I drive to her house to pick her up, it would lead to a confrontation with my sister.
I want to tell my mom all of this, but she has the idiotic habit of telling my mentally ill sister everything (yeah, we're a dysfunctional family), so I'm also afraid of this starting even more family drama and setting my sister off into another violent episode.
Any ideas on how to handle this? | want to see my non-driving mom, but want to avoid a violent sibling who lives with her. |
t3_2oukwt | relationships | Today, I (19m) found out my girlfriend (17f) lied about her age. | She's actually 16. We met online and her profile said 16. But shortly after knowing her a while, we decided to go out, and her birthday was two weeks after mine. On her birthday, she turned "17".
7 months later, some psychotic girl told me that she's 15. I replied saying she's actually 17 and when my girlfriend saw this, she told me to block her and to not talk to her. I didn't think much on it because this girl likes to starts problems. But shortly after, my girlfriend told me the truth about her age. She's really 16, and she lied about her age at first, and when we started liking each other a lot more, she could never tell me her actual age because she was afraid I'd dump her in a heartbeat.
Honestly, I'm not really mad. Just a little shocked knowing she's a year younger. I still love her just the same but she's freaking out and is really sorry. I told her I wasn't mad or anything. But she now thinks she's a high risk for me because of our age.
She now can't sleep and is stressed out to a point where she's crying. Apparently she's been dealing with a lot of shit lately (finals at school, tonsils removed and her meds aren't working to ease the pain, ex boyfriend sending early Christmas presents, people butting into our relationship, etc.)
Is there any way I can make her feel little better. I already told her I'm not mad. What else can I do? | my girlfriend lied about her age, im not mad, she's stressed out now with lots of things going on, and I want to help her feel better. |
t3_wcgsv | relationship_advice | [20/m] How soon is too soon? | Hey, folks.
So, there's a girl that I really like. "Judy".
But up until about 2 weeks ago, Judy's had a boyfriend. Recently, she broke up with him because she didn't feel the same about the relationship after almost 2 years. She told me within an hour of the breakup and since then, we've gone to dinner and a movie. We've hung out and gone to dinner before (yes, while they were together), and this experience didn't feel particularly different. Not sure what that means.
Basically, I'm here because I really want to tell Judy how I feel, but I'm afraid it's too soon after the break up. However, in the past, I've sacrificed chances at relationships with other girls because of how I've felt about her. I think there is another chance on the horizon, but I really just want to be with Judy. I know that if the opportunity comes up with the other girl, I won't take it unless I know where I stand with Judy. | I want to tell a girl just out of a relationship how I feel because I'll squander opportunities with other people until I find out how she feels about me, but I don't know if it's too soon after the breakup. Help? |
t3_4jn7mb | relationship_advice | Though I like where we are, I (26/f) don't want him (43/m) to get the wrong idea. | I've been working with and playing music with him for a while now and we have recently started hanging out outside of music and work...more recently have gone out on a few dates. It's been great; we always have a great time, we've been keeping work and outside life separate, and it's been nice having him as a cuddle buddy (no, nothing more than that though kisses have been stolen).
The issue comes where last time that we were out he started giving me the googly eyes when I "wasn't looking" (not oogling eyes, but squishy-feels eyes), and I know that whatever this is has already negatively affected a friendship of his, misplaced jealousy being the cause. To top it off, I can feel my interest in him only growing. I just don't want anything to change. All in all, I know I'm not ready for anything like this to progress. I'm still struggling with some residual heartache and my life is in a transitional stage; I'm too distracted and can't afford the distractions. I really don't want to lose the projects we have going or the awkward date things. I just know my heart's not ready for anything of the sort *right now* and I don't want to tangle his heart strings because of my own bullshit. Maybe if we could keep it comfy casual but I don't know how realistic or fair that is | Do I tell him outright we aren't going any further along with details and risk making everything terribly uncomfortable or do I just begin distancing myself? |
t3_4ilyrc | tifu | TIFU by almost snapping my neck and killing myself. | I actually cannot fucking believe I'm alive right now.
So, this happened about an hour ago. I just got out of school and was chilling with my friends, watching random shit on the TV. Then, my friend (we'll call her Erica) was like, "Hey Kate, why don't we go skateboarding?" So I said yeah and we went out to the big hill by my house. This is where the FU starts.
So, Erica, two other friends of mine, and I start riding. We start coming to the bottom of the hill and I forgot about the bigass pothole right in front of where I was riding. I couldn't react in time and swerved to the right as fast as I could. I hit the pothole still and hit my upper back on a tree. It missed my neck by about an inch. I ended up with pretty bad bruising, a sore back, and a sore neck. I really don't know how I'm fucking alive right now. | I almost broke my neck skateboarding with some friends and don't know how I'm fucking alive. |
t3_2k9qt3 | tifu | TIFU by dying my hair | This just happened not even three hours ago. I guess it started last week when I bleached my hair a few shades lighter. I was going for a progressive blonde (going blonde slowly over time) so as to let certain people get use to my hair color change as I work in a very professional field that does not welcome drastic image change for staff. Well. I used the same bleaching products... except I accidentally used too strong of a developer of the same brand. I left 40 volume developer in my hair for as long as I would the required 20 volume. I thought everything was fine until I went to rinse, only to find giant clumps of my hair clogging the shower. So much of my hair fell out that I had to shave off the little remaining of my twenty inch long hair. I am now bald. | Left strong hair dye in my hair and had to shave my head. |
t3_ochbg | AskReddit | How long do you spend interested in someone for a relationship? When is the threshold to move on? | Dear Reddit,
I'm currently an 18-year-old male with a developed interest in a girl for roughly two years now. We've went out a couple of times with groups of friends and alone as well and I've gotten to know her quite well. Amongst these events, there were subtle skinships and hints between us; at least to what I analyzed. Having graduated high school, some rough events happened between one of my friends and I, who didn't know we liked the same girl and shook the relationships, so I wasn't able to ask her out. This happened right before post-secondary education, as my interest and I separated ways to a three-hour time zone difference. We still chatted through means of technology, keeping in touch with each other as I sustained my attraction. Lately, this Christmas holiday, we got together again frequently and I've noticed that she's changed: becoming more shy, sensitive to touch and individualistic. Upon the beginning of the new term, I've found a time where I'm on a long break right before Valentines and booked a visit to see some friends; coincidentally at the same university that she goes to. Seeing this as an opportunity, I was thinking of asking her out, but I'm questioning whether the mutual attraction will still be there or not. Have I waited too long for something to happen? (Two years). | Liked girl for two years now, thought we had mutual attraction, time went by and am confused whether the time and distance would sustain attraction or not. Questioning if I missed my chance by letting time pass by too long. |
t3_1bbwma | loseit | Pants exchange? | I don't know if this idea has been put fourth before or if this is the place to post this, but I bought new jeans in January and then lost 25 pounds over the next two months. In two months from now, or whenever the next 25 come off, I'm probably gonna need to buy new pants again. Its kind of a pain in the ass.
Then it occured to me: everyone on this sub is losing weight and going through pants and shirts and what not. Everyone is a different starting size and at a different point in their weight loss journey.
What if we started some sort of pants exchange? If you were a 24 women's but are now a 22 and someone else was a 22 now 20, why not just trade around?
I'm thinking it could work sort of like the Amazon wish list sub Reddit where there are requests and "looking to give" kinds of things.
Again, this may already be a thing and this may not be the place to post this, but if I get some positive feedback, I might go ahead and make the sub.
Just wanted some input first. | tired of buying pants? Why not tradsies? |
t3_36n9my | relationships | Me [33 F] with my Ex [38 M] 1.5 years. Am I just a romantic, or does anyone believe in "choosing" to love anymore or is all just based on how you feel? | I don't want to be long and I'm not going to go into the nitty-gritty details, as I don't feel it is particularly necessary for my question. It's a simple question: am I incorrect that I believe there are points in a relationship that you "choose" to love someone; you don't always "feel" like it? That isn't to say those feelings don't come back. Everyone has "off" times. When I feel depressed, I make a choice to find a way to be happy in some way each day, even though I don't feel like it. I "fake" it for a while, but then one day I realize I really do "feel" happy again. I have always believed it worked the same for relationships.
To provide a little background, this is the second time my ex broke up with me because, while we mesh and get along very well, and work together great, and yes, he "loves" me...he just doesn't "feel" it. Does anyone make a choice to continue to love someone anymore? Or is everyone just out for the "feels"? Am I incorrect in my thinking because on the days I don't feel like it, I make the choice to continue to love them and commit to them?
I don't know - maybe some of you have relationships where you "feel" like it all the time. I haven't experienced it yet - is this what we are "supposed" to be working for? | Apparently I don't get relationships. Does anyone base relationships on their choice to love and commit to a person or is it all based upon feelings now? |
t3_3g1p01 | relationships | Me [24M] found out my GF is not 30 but 38 and married with a daughter after 3 months. | Really don't know what to think of this.
I met this girl on an online dating site. It said she was 30 and she confirmed it when I asked her in person.
We dated for about 3 months then I decided to search her on facebook to add her. I see her profile not active at all but it says she is married.... what?! I send her a text right away just straight up asking her if she is married. She says yes.
She is Asian and been living in North America for the past 5 years. She said she has been wanting a divorce for the past 5 years but her abusive husband back home doesn't want and is threatening to kill her daughter which is the only reason she is still married. She said she doesn't love him and hasn't spoken to him since February. She said she never done this before and feels terrible and guilty and is very sorry. She said really cares for me ( it showed she was amazing to me) but if i don't want to see her anymore she understands.
I then asked her if she is really 30 and she said no she is 38.
I really like her but this is a total shock to me and I don't know what to think or do. | Found out GF is married to an abusive husband threatning to kill her child if she leaves him. |
t3_24va6n | relationships | Me [22 F] with my crush [22 M] duration - Flirting Advice Needed | I have two days left with him before we leave for summer break where we live hours apart from one another. Last Saturday was the first time it became obvious we both have mutual feelings for each other, but with summer so close nothing major was going to happen.
However, because he made the first move last Saturday, I want to be able to show him I reciprocate the feelings and am not just being nice. Tonight is his birthday and we'll be going out to dinner together, along with a bunch of his friends (14 people total). Most of our friends are super happy for us and are rooting for it to happen. However, 4 people that are coming to dinner are not as supportive and purposefully butt-in to prevent anything from progressing.
I know I'm not going to be able to snag a spot next to him at dinner because their personalities are bigger than mine and I don't want to get aggressive and "claim my territory" because I know there are no romantic feelings between him and these specific girls.
I feel like time is running out with him for the time being. And I want to end the semester on a good note because he is one of the most genuine, caring, and funny people I've ever met in my entire life. I am also horrible at being forward, but I know I have to step up my game. So, what are some cute ways I get his attention from across the table or on the walk there? | Need cute ways to reciprocate flirting when being by his side isn't necessarily an option. |
t3_14bd30 | relationships | She [23f] told me [25m] we may have had someone else's abortion. | We hooked up with each other and other people before we started dating. Early in the relationship condoms and birth control failed and we had an abortion.
About two years later we're together but now long distance, and last month I visited her. There, she tells me she hooked up with someone right before we became serious in a less than safe manner and it may have not been my pregnancy (and dealing with that ain't cheap). I felt that as we weren't together at the time I had no right to be mad, but the notion that it was someone else's and that it was hidden from me over all the heartbreak really fucked with me. Everything went on ice immediately and I left at the end of the weekend in a huge cloud of awkward.
She's coming to visit me in four days and I don't know if I can deal with it. | Learned way after the fact I may have covered someone else's abortion, not sure I can make eye contact with my girlfriend. |
t3_1u3vay | relationship_advice | My boyfriend (26m) and I(21f) have drunkenly decided to break up the past two nights. | Sorry if this doesn't flow very well, I'm on my cell phone.
We have been together for two years and have always been open about everything. I have always known he doesn't want children and he has always known that I do want children. However, I don't want children for another ten plus years. So we decided to stay together until then. Being that we're so young, the chances of us staying together that long are slim. I would never press him to change his mind because I do not want him resenting me, our children, or himself.
Two nights ago we were drinking at home and he told me that he feels like we have no future, naturally, I understand. We decided we still want to stay together, but he wants to be in an open relationship. We've talked about it before, we both think it would be fun/beneficial. I know that right now I can't emotionally handle it though. I'm pretty confident in myself but I'm still a jealous girlfriend. Not overly jealous, but I mean I still have feels. He wants to start the open relationship now because he feels like he's just going to get older and unattractive. He said he understood how I felt and would be patient with me. So we're not rushing into anything.
We both love each other very much, we're each others best friend. But it has been awkward since then and I feel like he's unhappy or weary.
Any advice that you guys can share with me? Will it only get worse from here? | my wonderful relationship of two years is starting to crumple over a disagreeance regarding children. Something that shouldn't be a problem for ten plus years. Are we just kicking a dead horse? |
t3_2uavn7 | running | The plague of ITBS | Hi all. I got hit with ITBS in my right leg while training for a half marathon in October. It was a bummer, but I accepted that I was probably pushing it too much in terms of mileage, not doing the rights things in terms of stretching+conditioning, etc. etc.
I essentially took off from running from November through January after seeing a sports medicine doctor, while also doing a lot of cross-training, Theraband exercises, and foam rolling.
As of this past week, I've started to train for a marathon in May. First few runs went great, but during a very casual jog yesterday the ITBS in my right leg flared up in full force. **Not only that, it felt just as painful as it did in October**. I'm feeling despondent about this right now. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to overcome this injury? I've done a lot of research already, but at this point I'm willing to try just about anything. | I was diagnosed with ITBS this past October, took time off and tried to deal with it, it's come back now and I have no clue what to do |
t3_oy0kk | AskReddit | 1 The non-profit I just started volunteering for wants to start using reddit. What's the best way to go about this? | So I recently started volunteering for a Bay Area non-profit that wants me to help out with their social media platform. I'm learning a lot as I go along, and having the power of statistics at my fingertips is fun. So far they're set up on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, but they hadn't really heard of Reddit until I brought it up.
Being a year+ Reddit user, I know that Reddit is an absolutely huge community, and one that can be a valuable resource for anyone interested in connecting with a lot of people. Of course, I also know that people dislike being marketed to, and Reddit certainly has a history of crying foul when they think they've being used. Quite reasonably, in my opinion. The last thing that I want is to be seen as a spammer.
Thus, I wanted to get some tips from the greater Reddit community as to what the best way to go about this would be. I've made an account for the content to be posted through that should make its origin clear, but I'm interested in hearing other Redditors' opinions on good practices in this situation, as well as any suggestions for the content itself.
If anyone's curious, the non-profit is [Home Energy Magazine]( | Non-profit wants to make use of Reddit. How do I do that without being a spammer? |
t3_nax32 | AskReddit | Asthma anyone? | I've been have trouble breathing on and off since September. I went to the ER in September and they said I had severe bronchitis.
Flash forward to yesterday I still have trouble breathing (but its not that bad) and yesterday morning it got worse.
I went to a local walk in DR office and they think I might have asthma.
I was blowing a 340 average on the peak flow meter and I should be doing 480. But my blood oxygen level was 100.
This makes no sense to me. If I'm not breathing right or enough how can my levels still be 100?
He said he didn't see any signs of bronchitis.
I am going to try and call a lung dr today for an appointment but I just wondered what everyone else thought really having asthma.
Thanks in advance. | trouble breathing, might have asthma but my oxygen level is 100%. |
t3_36d5gs | relationships | My husband [M30] might've done something unsavory with my best friend's [F27] underwear. | It's a long weekend here in Canada, so last night my husband [M30] and I [F27] had my best friend Megan [F27] over for a BBQ & a hot-tub. After dinner, Megan used our bathroom to change into her swimsuit. I waited for her, and when she opened the door I saw her clothes folded in a pile on the bathroom counter.
We got in the hot-tub and my husband joined us about 10 minutes after. We stayed in for about an hour, then came inside and watched a movie, still in our towels and bathing suits. Megan & I must've fallen asleep on the couch halfway through the movie - I vaguely remember waking up around midnight to my husband covering us both with blankets.
Around 2AM, I woke up and went to the bathroom. I noted that my husband was still awake, as the light in his office was on. This in itself wasn't usual - on the weekends he's a night-owl.
At 6AM, I woke up again VERY dehydrated. This usually happens when I have too much to drink. I went to the bathroom to get a glass of water, and this time Megan's teal booty shorts were on the top of her pile of clothes. I am 100% certain they were NOT on the top of the clothes pile when I went to the bathroom at 2AM.
My husband has a thing for panties. When we have sex, sometimes he'll grab the panties I was just wearing, hold them to his nose and inhale deeply. Given the timeline, I think my husband took her panties into his office, masturbated with them, then replaced them. Right now, all I can say for certain is he moved them.
Megan woke up and left 20 minutes ago. My husband is passed out snoring in our bed. I am just sitting here at a loss, thinking WTF I should say when he gets up. This is the first time anything like this has happened. We have had zero problems with infidelity in our relationship. We've been together 6 years, married for 2 years. | Pretty sure my husband [M30] took my best friend's [F27] underwear and masturbated to/with them. |
t3_1hvf10 | relationships | Me[26M] struggling to move on after a bad breakup | About 3 years ago I went through a very bad breakup with my girlfriend of 5 years. She cheated on my with my best friend at the time, and then began dating him after the breakup.
It took me a long time to rebuild my confidence and to start hanging out with friends/going to parties/socializing in general after the breakup. Over the past 6 months I've been feeling like I'm ready to start dating again.
Since then, I've been successful in meeting a few girls, but have serious issues following up. Most recently, I met a girl at a party a couple weeks ago and got her number. I didn't end up calling her, and once again I saw her this past weekend. We hit it off again, and again I expressed interest in seeing her again. However, something is holding me back from actually taking the next step and I cant seem to figure it out.
I do have her on facebook as well, but whenever I see her online I just kind of freeze up. It's weird because in person I don't seem to have any issue interacting with her, or other girls for that matter, but once it gets to the point of being 1 on 1, I freak out and don't do anything about it.
I'm unsure how to move forward but I can't even figure out whats holding me back. | Struggling to start close relationships after a bad breakup. |
t3_120ozq | AskReddit | My fiancee and I are having one of her friends move into our apartment temporarily for a few months. What things should we do to protect ourselves? | My fiancee has a friend/ex-coworker that is having a rough time in her relationship and she needs to get away. We have some established trust with this friend and shes always been nice, but I have no plans on getting walked on or having our trust abused(hopefully).
Previously she has borrowed some cash and repaid us, I gave the ultimatum to sign a contract that she would pay us back by a certain date and she fulfilled that contract without incident. Living with us for a few months to help her get back on her feet is something I am ok with, but I want to be fully prepared. We will not be putting her on the lease or making her pay rent, this is fully on us. I am curious for others that have helped people out in a time of need of what preparations/documentation/talks etc. that you have had to protect yourselves from bad things happening.. any help is appreciated! | adopting a friend for a few months and want to protect ourselves, what are you recommendations? |