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t3_2lbnao
relationship_advice
Should I [29 M] be bothered by my gf's [27F] of a year facebook convo?
We've been together for about a year. I'm trying to be an adult and accept some of her male friendships. I used to be really jealous in the beginning but I am trying to change. She left her facebook logged in on my pc and me being the Nosy Nancy, I checked it out. 2 days ago, a friend wrote to her.. him: hey i miss my little Cindy! where can she be? her: i miss you too! him: aww her: yeah my heart broke in a million pieces lol him: yeah i have a little sign in my heart that says Cindy was here haha her: aww haha wth every time i hang out with the girls i ask about you him: yeah i ask the girls if youre coming but then you dont :( her: sorry him: bring your BF so we can all meet him blah blah they just went on about random stuff, and getting a group thing together. nothing sexual or hinting about him being an ex. the convo did end up about her telling him that i might be mr. right so i guess thats comforting. I'm not too bothered but is this innocent as it looks or is this inappropriate behavior by my gf? it is just her friend i believe
gf and guy told each other they miss each other. hoping its just platonic
t3_4ea8hu
relationships
Me [19 M] with my crush/friend [18 F] we both like each other but we don't know if we can do anything about it!
I always knew her peripherally. She was the girl that everyone said my friend (#1) had a crush on, but he would never admit it. Then she got involved with someone else (#2), a random guy who eventually became a good friend as well. Then things fizzled out with #2, but everyone stayed friends. #1, #2 and I became good friends. Even planning to move in together next year. Then we all went to a party. I saw a bunch of guys approach her, trying to talk to her, but she waved them off and amazingly, she would come sit with me. We chatted (having never really interacted much before) and danced all night. A few times we came close to kissing but we never went that far. So now I guess you could say I'm smitten, but I'm very aware that maybe its not meant to be. What do you think I should do? Should I tread carefully? One of my other friends (who doesn't know her that well) said maybe she's just the kind of girl that is interested for a little while but can't stick around that long. What do you think?
I like a girl, but she used to go out with one of my roommates for next year (but they're still friends) and I think another future roommate used to have feelings for her. What do I do?
t3_25aa6p
pettyrevenge
New "Credit Card Services" shenanigans.
Every few weeks I get robo-called by a scam organization called Credit Card Services. They promise to reduce your credit card interest rate (as low as zero!) but want to charge about $450 to your credit card to do so. I mess with them by keeping them on the phone as long as possible; they waste time with me instead of scamming someone else (like yer mom). Here's the thing, if you call them what they are, or even come close, they hang up. My new trick is to tell them my phone line is not working well then hang up on *them* at some point during the call. When the call back, I waste their time for a while and hang up once more. Rinse, repeat.
I have too much time on my hands.
t3_3w0vm1
Dogtraining
New owner of a 7 month old Pitbull, just want to run a thought by others
I'm 5 days in and totally hooked on keeping the little guy. So I've gotten quite serious about training. Had PTO to burn this week so he's been my main focus. He's got what I assume are the usual issues. Biting, pulling, not dropping things, etc. Had some success this evening and plan to keep the momentum going bright and early tomorrow but I want to hear any potential criticism before the behavior becomes standard. Using a clicker I've taken the 'Benevolent God' approach. Ensuring I maintain Pack Leader authority but using treats liberally with all manner of behaviors that I want to reinforce. Finally dropped the toy we were tugging at? Click and a treat. Got on your bed? Click and a treat. Walked for half a block without tugging or stopping? Click and treat. In our time together today I've started to see behaviors that appeared frozen in his psyche, begin to drip and melt away. My biggest complaint has been that on walks, after awhile of attempting to correct his tugging, he would begin going after my pant legs and the leash. It has been quite trying to have a session of walk training interrupted by him going into attack mode. Currently, the only negative I can conjure up is overeating. Anyone more experienced have a thought?
My hope would be that in training and walks if he is *constantly* rewarded with treats for the good behavior that he'll simply lose interest in the bad behavior. Is this logic sound?
t3_3paboj
relationships
I (17m) was dating (17f) for 3 months with a strong connection but I messed up
So let me start by saying that I met this girl at work. She is definitely a 10 in my book and I immediately felt a strong connection (most crushes are based off looks). And because she was so beautiful I always kind of whimpered away at any sign of affection. After about a month of just talking I finally built up the courage to ask her on a date and she almost instantly accepted. Now I'm sure everyone knows how awkward first dates can be and mine was no exception. Towards the last couple hours I told her that the only reason I was so quite was because of my feelings towards her. She says she likes me too (awesome)! So after establishing a kinda more than friends relationship we go on dates every weekend but I'm always too nervous to make a move and it feels like she's getting tired of it. So one day we were sitting down talking and I asked her how she felt about us and if she wanted to make it official. She tells me she doesn't want a relationship because of how busy she is with school (I understand). But I couldn't help feeling more and more like a loser because I can't make a confident move so I stopped talking to her outside of work and now things have been really awkward between us for the past few weeks. Don't know if this counts as a relationship but I could really use some advice.
date really nice girl for a couple of months and ask to make official and get shit down
t3_v1zrz
AskReddit
Serious Question: Can dogs be mentally handicapped?
The reason I ask is because my wife and I have a new mixed breed puppy that really acts strange, from what we can tell she is a mix of terrier, beagle, and perhaps daschund. We have a pack of dogs in our household, she is the 5th "family member" we saved from the shelter. It took about a week, but we have a chihuaha/poodle mix, who she immediately bonded with and plays with everyday, he is like her older brother and they pick on each other, biting, rolling, running, growling sometimes. Here are some examples why we think she might have something wrong: She really likes to chew on things, which of course if normal for dogs, whenever she is chewing on something and she rolls over on her back, she will stop with whatever is in her mouth and stare at the wall, us, whatever, with a blank stare, at first we laughed cause we thought it was funny, but last night, she was standing in the middle of our family room and paused and stared in our direction for about 3 minutes. My wife and I both called her, she just stood there like she had no idea what was happening. It reminded me of my grandmother who died of alzheimer's disease. It scares my wife and I because we don't know if she is just spacing out or what. Another thing to share is she still wets her crate/kennel at night. We have had her for over 3 months now, she is potty trained for the most part, my wife is so tired of having to clean up her mess in the morning, which is random and not every night. She is one of the most cuddly, loving dogs I have had, but she is really not that smart from what we can tell.
We have a dog that acts mentally handicapped, is this a common thing for dogs?
t3_2jg8or
tifu
TIFU Farewell everlasting happiness
I live on the second floor of a block of units, only access to my unit is by a set of stairs adjacent to the carpark. There's a smoking hot girl, I'm pretty much in love with, living in the unit next to me. But of course she doesn't know me from a bar of soap. I do shift work and ride a motorbike to and from work. This morning, after a long night I park my bike and don't take off my helmet. An airy surge fills my stomach and I let out two massive farts that could of rivaled any large horn beset upon a mountain top in the Swiss Alps. The relief is instantaneous and well worth the effort. I then look up the stairs to see the live of my life standing two feet in front of me, looking at me with beautiful brown eyes, like I just curb-stomped a kitten. I can't manage a witty remark let alone any words from the English language and I run past her to the sanctuary of my front door. Farewell everlasting happiness.
didn't take off my motorbike helmet, let out two massive farts. Girl of my dreams standing on the stairs right in front of me.
t3_3h5gkk
relationships
My [20M] girlfriend [20F] likes to get friendly with different people when drunk...
Throw away account because reasons. Every time my girlfriend goes out with one particular friend [20F] she always kisses other guys then tells me about it weeks later. She just drops it in the conversation as though it is nothing, and it feels like a punch in the gut when she tells me, and it isn't always one guy either... It makes me feel physically sick. I've been faithful to her throughout the two years we've been together, so I just don't understand why she acts like that when she's drunk. We've talked about it a million times but it always ends with it being brushed under the table, and I stupidly let it happen. I always thought we were both happy in our relationship, and she tells me that she is, but there's always that nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that she could do worse than just kissing. I've asked my friends for advice over the past few months as its been happening, but my thought process always changes. One minute I'm set on leaving her, then the next I'm with her and we're happy as can be. I really don't know what to do. I know I personally can't overlook cheating (is this classed as cheating?), but this is the only part of the relationship that is bad. Agh. Help.
girlfriend goes out with friend and kisses other people regularly. Tells me about it as though it's nothing. It gets to me. I've spoken to her numerous times about it but it just isn't going to go away. What do I do.
t3_2k61ox
relationships
Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 3 years, she has started smoking again
When my GF and I first met, she was a smoker. About six months in, she quit, in part because she'd always wanted to and in part because I told her how it was sometime disgusting to kiss her after she'd had a cigarette. She never smoked a lot, maybe a smoke after work or two, at the most five when we were drinking and she was out with friends, but she never ever hit a pack a week and still hasn't. We moved into her two bedroom apartment last November, and it's been great in general. The biggest issue is that she accepted an incredibly well-paying, very stressful job. She's become the higher income, and I'm comfortable with that mostly. However, she has now begun smoking again, and now indoors. She smokes a cig about three times a week now, in our living room, though it is always by the window with a fan. Even so, the smell lingers. I have asked her to stop and she says that she is super stressed by her job.. I feel like this is pretty valid. She works probably 60 hour weeks, maybe, which I feel isn't that insane, but it's worse than what I deal with. She also takes work calls, texts, and emails off the job and has to respond to them pretty quickly. I do know she has burst out crying once or twice to me when talking about her job, so I know she's seriously not in a great place, stress-wise. That said, I worry about her health and our future. I wanted to live with a woman who was smoke free and want my living room to be a non-smoking area. We live on the fifth floor of a walk-up, so I can understnd why she is reluctant to go down, but it still is an option to me, but I don't want to offend her.
My gf has started smoking again, in doors, and it's annoying. Can I get her to stop or convince her to smoke outdoors?
t3_3sbb4a
relationships
I [22f] walked in on my boyfriend [23m] cheating on me, having trouble with intimacy since then
Hi relationships! Long story short, it was unhealthy on and off for 4 months, decided to be monogamous, that lasted another 4 months, walked in on him having sex with another girl, devastation, we made up. I was unfortunately still in love with him. had a hard time the first few months, were still in contact, tried to be friends, then went no contact for two months. I've seen him a few times since summer, generally on good terms. Still kinda love him? I haven't fallen for anyone else I've canoodled with. Anyway... he is not why I'm posting. Ever since the witnessed-cheating, I have changed in a way I'm not happy with. Before this relationship, I was a very affectionate, open, and loving person. I wore my heart on my sleeve, always willing to love or give people a chance. I believed (and still do, to an extent) that love is a very powerful thing and should be done often. Not necessarily romantically or physically. Just that everyone deserves love and it's one of the best ways to lead a full and compassionate life, doing good unto others, etc etc. I still feel that way. I think love is important, that we should let ourselves love and be loved, that connection is essential. Et cetera. But I scoff at romance. I find love unbelievably far away. I'm not nearly as affectionate as I used to be, except with my family and *very* close friends. I used to participate in poetry readings, but now I'm uncomfortable with how vulnerable that is. I know the remedy for most things is time, but it's been nearly 7 months. I'm happier. I'm keeping busy. I hang out with my friends and do things outside. So what do you think, reddit? Will time heal all? Will it just pass and I'll be fine one day? thank you for reading, any advice is welcome.
Walked in on my love cheating on me, personality/view of romance seems irreparably changed, can't be physically intimate with anyone, find it difficult to connect and share emotionally, how do I get better? Will things get better?
t3_4n1c5c
relationships
Me [37 M] with my wife [36 F] 10 years, would it be okay to pay her back for covering my debt.
Throwaway because I don't want anyone I know personally to see this. Me and my wife met 10 years ago and instantly fell in love and have a great relationship. Before we got married i was in debt 30,000$ in debt and she gave me the money to help pay it off. I've been very grateful and have not ever taken as of her kindness or take her for granted. I recently got a raise and have some money set aside and I've been thinking about just giving it to her. She worked a lot during that time and was stressed out all so that she could help me. And I have been thinking maybe she could use it on something for her or take a trip by herself. But would it be weird or would it rub her the wrong way if I did? Is any of this weird?
I'm thinking of paying back my wife for helping pay off my debt.
t3_12hm2e
AskReddit
Going back in time and impregnating your own mother
My friend and I were having a much heated argument over a few beers last night about time machines. He kept insisting on going back in time and sleeping with my mom so I would call him daddy. This of course would be impossible because my being would disappear in its entirety because it would prevent my own birth. Now if I went back in time and slept with my own mother and managed to knock her up before my birth I would disappear completely, as I was never born. However, since I was never technically born, would she remain pregnant and if so how since I never existed.
Aliens.
t3_2batmm
running
What happened to me this weekend?
I'm a female, 5'5" 140lbs. I'm training for a 50k in October followed by Ragnar in November. Sorry this is so long, I'm a little freaked out and hoping someone has some insight. The training plan I'm following calls for moderate runs during the week, the longest run on Saturday, followed by a semi-long run on Sunday. Two weekends ago I ran 20 miles on Saturday followed by 10 miles on Sunday. It was difficult (as expected) but manageable. I had a step down weekend and then this weekend ran 22 miles on Saturday followed by 10 miles on Sunday. I cramped up a lot during the 22 mile run which is rare for me. I was tired for the remainder of the day (normal for me) but felt mostly okay. Sunday, I woke up and was tired/achey, but got out there for my 10 miles and felt okay. As the day progressed, I felt increasingly shittier until I was completely lacking any energy and was light headed, especially when standing up after sitting. I was very cold, despite it being summer in the desert. I felt queasy yet hungry. I took it easy all day and spent a lot of time laying on the couch, sleeping/resting. In the evening, even though I wouldn't have guessed it, I had a temperature of 101. I went to bed very early and woke up this morning feeling somewhat better, but still not quite right. I decided to come into work today. At this point, I'm feeling a little queasy still, weak, tired, and like I just need to lay down. A couple thoughts: * I donated blood on Wednesday. * Maybe I'm just sick? My throat hurts a bit today and I have kids in daycare so it's very possible.
Extremely weak, queasy, lightheaded, and feverish after 22/10 mile runs over the weekend
t3_2e6f7w
relationships
Me [24M] with my GF [19 F] of 6 months, she's absolutely amazing, but I want to flirt, have random sex etc
In all honesty, I feel I already know the answer to my question, but I am looking for more perspectives, and maybe even just looking to share my thoughts with someone. I met a girl in February this year, and I feel she is absolutely amazing. We moved in together this summer. I feel like more or less everything about her is great. The sex is great, she cooks and cleans if needed without problems, she pays half the rent without problems, she wants to pay her own part of food etc. She doesnt mind if I sit hours playing games, and I honestly cannot find anything negative to say about her. The problem I have though, is that I want to flirt with others girls, which honestly, she doesn't even mind if I do. I'm a flirty guy and I naturally talk to girls in such a way, even if I have no intentions behind it. But I want to do more than that. Random sex, meeting up with girls etc. I always liked that part, the chase if you want, in addition to the companionship. A very good example of "the grass is greener" and "I want the cake and eat it". I know that if I end the relationship, I'll regret it. However, staying in the relationship becomes harder and harder for me, as I want to do those other things as well. I do have a fear that I will end up cheating on her if I keep going like this without a change of mentality. The only possible solution to both issues is an open relationship, as I honestly wouldnt have any issues with her doing stuff with others, but I am fairly sure she wouldnt accept that. I can't say for certain that its the case, but I fear that once I talk to her about that, she will figure out that I have problems with our current relationship. Essentially, I know I have to decide between her or random sex, I simply honestly cannot see what the best course of action is, and also any perspectives and opinions on this surely would help.
I'm in a fantastic relationship, but I also enjoy flirting and chasing girls, and having random sex and that kind of stuff. Think I will cheat on her eventually if this keeps going. I don't think an open relationship is an option. Thoughts on how to deal with this?
t3_1dgj7f
relationship_advice
{25/f} missing old boyfriend {25/m} like crazy. Should I try to get in touch?
Okay it's kinda a long ass story, so I'll try to be brief. I met ex boyfriend at The Boot, a bar in downtown Shreveport, in May of 2011. I was just diagnosed as bipolar a month earlier and have been spotty with my medications which made our 9 month relationship kinda rocky. This is completely and utterly of my own doing and old boyfriend thinks I'm a crazy bitch. And even though I am in another state I can't keep my mind off of him. The way he laughed, the time I blew his mind when I knew something about football, just basically all the good times we had. I dream about him constantly, and I can't come up with the courage to try to get a hold of him. I've tried to find him once, but chickened out on reaching out. I have changed and hope for another shot. What are some ways I can find him on the cheap and how can I prove I'm a changed woman?
I miss my ex boyfriend who thinks I'm crazy. How do I find him and how to prove to him I'm not crazy?
t3_rpwji
Dogtraining
Dog Greeting Manners and Socializing?
I've got a bit of a conundrum. I'm trying to work at teaching my dog proper manners in greeting other dogs. I'm fine with working with my dog. I do my best to only allow my dog to move forward if the leash is loose and having my dog focus on me, rinse and repeat until a calm greeting. My pup's ultimate reward is meeting other dog's. It's other people and their dogs have 0 concept of this though and it has led to some dangerous situations. An example I can think of is there's a huge beautiful Newf in town. He's about 200lbs. His owners walk him on a choke collar (can't change other people's useless ideals there) which has 0 effect on him. If my dog and him see each other the Newf will drag his owner into traffic and across the street just to say hello. So my issue is staying consistent in my training. I can cross a street for most smaller dogs to stay consistent but with these larger dogs I have 0 consistency and give in for the other dog and its owner's safety. There is a secondary issue of if I never let my pup greet these other dogs due to their lack of training my pup wouldn't be socialized. I've introduced my pup to everyone and everything possible thus far. How doe it effect socialization if I stop all greetings (aside from preventing the dangerous situations as exampled above) until I get the calm manners I'm looking for?
How do you cope with others that haven't trained their dogs while trying to train manners whilst maintaining socialization in your own dog?
t3_2nwc9d
jobs
Advice for an education major who no longer wants to be a high school teacher
I am about to complete a hard earned degree in secondary education and and I beginning to have a mild panic attack. Over the last year I have been slowly falling out of love with my chosen field and my student teaching experience, while rewarding in many ways, has really highlighted the elements of the job that I really can't stand. I will continue to mull over my options in regards to teaching, however I wondered if anyone in this sub had any insight into careers that are looking for some of the same skills as teaching? My Skills: Public speaking Strong writing and editing I enjoy working as part of a team Proficient with most technology including Microsoft Office and the full complement of Google apps.
I'm an education major, but I dislike teaching. What can I do with my degree?
t3_3fhxce
relationships
I (21f) don't think anyone will ever love me.
I just broke up with my fiance of four years. He told me he despised being with me, that i was a disgusting slut and if i tried to find someone after this it would only be a forty year old tweaker because no one else would want me. He said that i'm the reason my family was so abusive anf that he understands how crazy i must have made them. This was after i cleaned his house, made him food, and bought his groceries. But i feel lile he is right and that there's a reason no one loved me. There's a reason my family hated me and there's a reason he does too. I don't kniw how to fix myself and i am just so sad and drunk and feel broken.
got dumps. Fiance said cruel things. Believe them and don't know how yo change.
t3_4gfhso
relationships
Me [13 M] and my crush [12 F]. How do I ask her to the upcoming school dance?
Hey r/relationships! So this past Thursday my seventh grade class went on a school trip to Boston, and during this trip my crush ended up breaking up with her eighth grader boyfriend, I'll refer to him as Ian. Now I moved to this school this past year and Ian was my first friend, and what he ended up doing was dating my crush, Lily, so what happened on Thursday night is, according to Lily's friend, he sent her a picture of a pornstar in a quite revealing outfit, with a crude message something along the lines of "if you wear this I'll f*** you". She immediately broke up with him and things were quite awkward between them today as this was the first school day back. Now I've had a crush on Lily all year, but I found out Ian was dating her so I waited. Now she's free and seems to be over him, and is acting quite nice to me, which is very odd. Now the school dance is approaching in May, so I was curious if I should ask her, how, and when? If I left anything out feel free to ask!
Crush broke up with boyfriend through a series of strange events, should I ask her to the dance? If so, how and when?
t3_450rej
tifu
TIFU by telling the truth to my mother.
I should start by saying I am a 14 year old guy and this was actually last week. I am not allowed to play video games during the week and I made the mistake of telling my mom that I played video games at my friend's house on a Tuesday and that I didn't eat at his house. I came home from his house and I ate a chip that made me lose my appetite for an hour. After I ate the chip I said to my sister "I don't feel like eating, I'm going to bed." My sister yelled, "Mom, Tristan isn't eating." My mom came into my room and said, "Why aren't you eating? Did you eat while you were over there?" I told her I didn't have an appetite and no I didn't eat. She asked, "What did you guys do?" I thought I should probably tell the truth because I couldn't come up with a fast lie and said, "We played Minecraft for like 2 hours and then just hung out and talked." She said "Well if you aren't going to eat and break my rules then you can't go over to your friends houses during the week anymore." I told her to go away because I was pissed, I haven't had a best friend for 4 years and we finally became best friends and started hanging out. I have nothing to do at home and the only major fun I have is when I hang out with my friends. After about 30 minutes I went and ate something then and asked, "I ate, can u hang out during the week at my friends now?" She yelled at me some said she was tired and would talk about it later. I haven't confronted her about it yet and am still very lazy.
I told my mom that I played video games at my friends house on a Tuesday (not allowed to play video games during the week) and didn't eat when I got home and now I can't hang out at my friends house during the week.
t3_3penth
relationships
I [18M] got a bad AP test score in programming and just failed a project in computer science. I'm scared because it's what I want to do as a career.
So I have always loved computer science and I love the idea of growing up to do this as computers are basically the only thing I'm good at. Long story short last year I failed my AP computer science test with a score of a 1(The worst score) and I freaked out worrying that I'll never do what I want to when I grow up because of a stupid test. So I ended passing it off as just a dumb coincidence and if I still tried I would make it. So then this year comes along and we are doing our first project in college computer science and I go in for extra help because I'm confused on a method and I figure it out. I just got the score back on it and I got 60% on it. Now I'm worried again. Am I being dumb? Or should I actually be concerned.
I did bad in my class and now I'm contemplating my career choice.
t3_mk1fq
AskReddit
How can I help my boyfriend become independently closer to my friends?
Hello to the sexy people of Reddit, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a couple years and have a kinda odd question about getting him to come out of his shell. My boyfriend is a very quiet person until he gets to know someone, but after a few hours of hanging out with them he'll have them rolling around laughing. He's a great guy who's super intelligent and caring but has a hard time getting closer to new people. When he came to college, he spent the majority of his time studying and basically not being social, so he didn't meet a great deal of people. After we met, he integrated into my group of friends. We are both in our final year of college and I will be graduating soon (he has to stay an extra semester). To be honest, we will probably have to split ways because of whatever opportunities that arise after graduating. The problem is that lately he has made comments that my friends wouldn't want to stay in contact with him after I graduate, but I know that this isn't true. I think his thought process stems from that I'm always with him when we're with my friends and associates being with them only being my friends. I am usually the one to get people together to hang out and he rarely has plans outside of schoolwork to socialize. He has become pretty close with one of my friends because of circumstances where I wasn't there and he hung out with her without me. I really want him to try hanging out with more of my friends with out me, so he can see that they would be friends without me being in the equation. At worst they don't become close. This is where you can help me. How can I help this happen? I don't want to force him into situations where its blatantly obvious I'm trying to set up playdates. hahah. Would you be offended if your SO tried to get you to be closer with mutual friends? Would it be weird to ask my friends to taking him out? Thank you in advance for any advice.
Anyone have any ideas to get my BF to hang out with my friends without me being there?
t3_v3nsf
AskReddit
My ex-boyfriend had issues with his body (Lifetime-movie-issues). Anyone else have a SO that exhibits/exhibited problems/issues typically associated with that of the opposite gender?
My ex-boyfriend, who was not overweight (but still a sturdy guy), was always talking about how fat he thought he was and how he could lose the weight. This was attempted in very unhealthy ways, like trying to eat only 500 calories a day or cutting out ALL carbs. The no carb diet kinda worked for him (he was still on it when we broke up), but he was losing weight in all the wrong ways - his body lost definition, and I hated feeling how, well, squishy his arms were after he lost some lbs. I always tried to get him to workout with me, but he would rather put his body through the ringer than get on a treadmill or lift some weights. Reddit, in what ways have the people you've dated completely floored you by acting in ways that are stereotypically seen/portrayed as belonging to the opposite sex?
Ex-boyfriend acted like an anorexic fifteen year old girl from a Lifetime movie.
t3_12dtmq
AskReddit
Reddit, I want to start living independently and I don't think I can afford to. How does one live on a very little amount of money?
I'm 20. I'm still living at home and going full-time to college. I just landed an adorable little food industry job making 7.75 an hour. My first weekly paycheck will be $115. Weekly I have to take out $20 for gas, put $15 in a savings account, and set aside $25 for my mother. This leaves me with a measly $90 a week. Monthly I am lucky enough to only have to pay my phone bill and for my car insurance which total $105. I want to be able to afford an apartment in the not-so-distant future in a larger city than the one I'm currently in. I don't know if this is possible. The town I'm in right now is so small that there are hardly any jobs available for a 20 year old female with no real marketable skills. I point out the fact that I'm female because I would totally work construction if they would allow women, and they don't, I've checked. My point is that I just need some advice on how the hell I'm supposed to make it out here. Both my mother and my sister are seriously ill and it's been a struggle to start trying to become independent of helping family first. It sounds bad, but this is the first time I've been able to start planning my own future instead of trying to think of how I'm going to take care of my family. I'm totally lost. What can I do?
Need to start planning for future while going full-time to college and working a measly job. Job availability is extremely low. I have no marketable skills. Advice?
t3_3pmyd3
relationships
Me [20M] with my Friend [20F] giving me mixed signals?
So for the past two months this girl that i became friends with has been driving me crazy! Whenever we talk/hangout we always have a blast. Our conversations cover a wide range of topics and both of us are so excited with what we have to say to each other that we interrupt each other mid-sentence frequently. Everything she says and everything i say is very in depth, and we love to analyze people and the way they act like they do. We usually spend an hour or so after class talking in the parking lot (Even when its freezing and we are shaking). But its a different story when we are in class. The other day (and this has happened before recently) she comes into class and sits in front of me but proceeds to not even make eye contact or talk to me throughout almost the entirety of class. Which makes me comb my mind thinking of anything i might have done or said to have upset her. Yes, its obvious that i have feelings for her, but i also highly value our friendship and i would really hate to mess it up by being impulsive and misinterpreting signals. But then the second we walk out of class it's like everything else is exactly as it was, and we have a blast. Could this be her telling me to keep my distance (i am the only one she does this to in class, she has no problem talking to anyone else around her)? Should i be direct and just ask her whats up? Or should i just ignore it and continue on like its nothing?
Friend and i have an amazing time whenever we are together but as soon as we hit class, the mood sinks like a ton of lead bricks in water.
t3_f40b8
books
I have ADD when it comes to read- OO SHINY!
I used to really enjoy reading but I found when I started using the internet (2002) my attention span had become very.........limited. I don't have the concentration I used to have to really sit down and read for a period of time longer then 10 minutes. I haven't read a book in its entirety since 2008 and I read Coraline before the movie came out. I'm back to school now and have I have more time between classes or waiting for people and I thought "This would be a good chance to get back into reading" Does anyone have any tips and tricks for keeping focused while reading? Also if you would like to recommend a good first book for me that would be very much appreciated or at least point me in the right direction as to where to find them (I"m new here :S) I like: Sci-fi, Paranormal, Crime/Mystery, Fantasy, Zombies, Zen/Self help < I'm not sure how to word that one. Anyway thanks for just reading!
I can't focus on reading anymore but want to get back into reading
t3_20cm42
relationships
How do I [22 F] tell my boyfriend[36 m] of two years that I am gender fluid?
Im sorry if this isnt the best place for this. If its not, please tell me a better place to ask. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and we currently live together. How do I tell him that I am gender fluid, or should I even tell him? Its not like its really bothering me to where I feel like I *have* to, but there are times where it would be nice if he knew. I feel like it wouldnt really bother him, but there is still that fear of how he will react and/or if it will make him uncomfortable until he got used to the idea. I know he loves me, but I dont know if he should know this? Or how I would even bring this up to him.
How/Should I tell my boyfriend that I am genderfluid?
t3_39rlmv
relationships
How can I [18 M] suppress jealousy I don't want to feel?
I am in a very loving and committed relationship with an amazing girlfriend [16]. However, I have some lingering feelings for my best friend [17 F]. Both of them know about this crush and it's all fine and understood. The friend is also asexual and has no romantic desires at all. Obviously there is NOTHING romantic between us and never will be. She's simply my closest friend, who I love and admire a very great deal. I just have one problem. A friend of mine fell for this girl. And, obviously, it went nowhere at all. But the mere thought of them together bothered me a great deal more than it should. It was positively painful. I was almost angry at the guy (and besides, she could do a lot better. He's blindingly annoying to the point where my girlfriend refuses to be in the same room as him). I don't WANT to be so unreasonably bloody jealous. I want my blood to NOT boil when I think of her with someone else.
I'm unreasonably jealous over a girl I'm not even with and I don't want to be. Is there any way to suppress this?
t3_2fra6i
relationships
Me 19M with my 18F duration, Long distance and she's homesick
I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and we love each other very much and talk about our futures with one another. She's in her first year at a university while I'm at my second at a university 4 hours drive away. I visited her this weekend for her birthday, which is today, but I had to leave at 5am this morning to catch a bus back to my school. Today is her birthday but she is feeling very depressed and homesick. She rushed a sorority, but feels out of her element, because she does not like the party scene. She has had a tough time meeting friends and her closest friends are her roommate and people that we both know from our high school. How can I make her situation better and turn her day around? I have a hard time being happy when she isn't, and I really want her to lose some of her stress. A lot of the stress is because we had to say goodbye today and I know a lot of it is her homesickness, what can I say/do to make her feel better? Thanks in advance for the advice!!!
Girlfriend homesick/upset the day I leave (her 18th birthday), how do I make her feel better?
t3_2goz09
relationship_advice
Moving in together: 1 bedroom or 2 bedroom? [23F][24M]
After a lot of thought, my boyfriend [23M] and I [23F] have decided to move in together. I know we're young, but we have been together over 2 years and were best friends for a few years before that. We are looking at getting a place right now and have the option between a 1br and a 2br. We can afford the 2 bedroom since we have good jobs with steady income. However, our frugal nature is telling us that we should get a 1 bedroom and live cheaper. Part of me thinks that it would be nice to have a guest bedroom/office/music room (we both have instruments) and a little extra space if we need alone time. The other part of me thinks that it isn't worth paying the extra $200/month for a room we'll hardly use. Those who have experienced moving in with an SO for the first time, what are your thoughts? Have you found that a 1 bedroom is enough? Or do you think it's helpful to have extra space?
What is better for a couple moving in together for the first time? 1 bedroom or 2 bedroom?
t3_1wo2ls
relationships
I [F/28] am recently engaged but worried about leaving my mom [F/65].
I know how stupid this sounds but I can't shake how I feel. I have been with my fiancé for nine years and we have finally gotten engaged. Our families love each other, are excited for our wedding, the imminent arrival of grandchildren etc. I am also excited about finally being able to start a family with someone I've loved for nearly a decade. We have waited for this and talked about it for years and now we're finally doing it. It feels amazing. My mom is excited about planning my wedding with me and seems to have none of the feelings I have explained below - she keeps saying it's a "new phase" in my life and it's time to live my own life. That's all fine but my (single) mom is my best friend, I love her so much as a person and I have always been very close to her. I have lived at home with her on a weekend basis for the past 10 years after I moved out for college. I have not lived with my fiancé alone yet. So we have remained very close for the past 28 years. It has always been me and her. Now, after I marry she will be all alone and I feel tearful about it. I feel like I will miss her so much. I feel like I am leaving her behind. It's not like I can come back on weekends to see her as I will be with my fiancé, even if I do it'll only be for a few hours. Will we grow apart? I am scared that we will.
Newly engaged but feel like I'll grow apart from my mom.
t3_381mnl
tifu
[NSFW] TIFU by letting my boyfriend in
It's a little bit after the weekend, but hear me out. So rewind about 10-12 years. I'm a sophomore in high school, and a gay male with an intense hankering for some dick. I had no idea how to sex, but I knew I liked to be dominated and/or be on the bottom. So around early May, I get a boyfriend who's a good two feet taller than I am and a good three inches longer than me. He's a dominant top, and pretty soon we progress from sensual make-outs in the back of his car (he was a junior who started school late and was 18) to full-blown sex. I was super nervous about this, never having had sex made at me before (inb4 stretch marks). So we pick a time and place. My house, 3pm on a Saturday when my mom was going to be out. So I sneak him in the window (bc there was a cctv camera watching the door at the time to make sure shit like this didn't happen) and we get to undressing. I retreat to the shower to douche while he grabs his lube and wrapper. When I exit, I immediately hear my mother's car door slam in the driveway, and I know she's seen his car. We try to dress at the speed of light and the lube somehow spills. He's still got the condom on but he's deflating fast, and I'm fumbling with my shirt when my mother wrenches my door open to find lube sprayed up the walls and her fifteen year old son half-nude with an eighteen year old whose dick just tossed a condom on the floor.
Got unlucky when I was trying to get lucky.
t3_2pygqt
relationships
My [25F] boyfriend's [28M] exwife [31F] is going to wipe out our entire savings due to a nasty divorce. Reddit, I can use some advice.
So here's some more details to the story. My boyfriend's exwife, X-files, is being an incredibly spiteful child during this process. Both my boyfriend and I have been saving as much as we possibly can because we are expecting and I'm due in June. We had enough in our savings for the medical bills and expenses expected with pregnancy and childbirth, however, X-files is now demanding a large amount of money to move out of the house we refinanced. Of course I expect there to be a settlement during the divorce but this threw us off guard. She is residing in the house we are planning on moving into and are currently paying for. Her name is still on the mortgage due to her reluctance to sign any paperwork. The closing on the refinance is delayed because of her. She has gone back on her word several times now. And has been nothing but a huge pain in the ass. She cannot have any children of her own and does not know I am pregnant. I genuinely fear what her reaction would be if she found out. She is a very unstable person and has destroyed her relationships, friendships, etc. since the divorce. She blames my boyfriend for her disastrous actions (ex: sleeping with her best friend's husband is apparently my boyfriend's fault). Anyway, in order to get her out of the house, she is demanding everything we own (except for the house). She is moving in with her parents which is a fully furnished house and is taking everything in the house just to be spiteful. Why would she need 2 TVs and 3 couches? My question to you, Reddit, is how do I make this large sum of money she is taking from us taxable? We are simply trying to move on with our lives and she's making it her life goal to make our lives miserable. I worked very hard to save what I have and she's going to take it right from my hands, making me unable to pay for medical expenses and a much needed sedan (I have a truck with a small cab).
Psycho exwife is taking us for all we have. How do I make her pay taxes on it?
t3_3lgvyg
tifu
TIFU by making a yo mamma joke.
Contrary to the title, this FU happened 2 years ago. It happened with one of my friends, let's call him Bill. So this happened in French class and it was a normal day.. until we started having a shitty joke contest, and I cracked the first "yo mamma" joke, he just stood there with an angry and sad look so I kept going, after about 5 jokes my other friend, let's call him Jim tells me that Bills mother died 2 days ago. I start saying sorry to Bill and he just says in the saddest voice "it's ok"... Bill did not come into school next day.
Made a yo mamma joke about a dead mother.
t3_2phz1r
relationships
Me [31M] need advice talking to [24F] about what her intentions are right now with
Hi everyone - So a few months ago I ended a really bad relationship. Then about a month ago I started seeing someone new. We're both in school so we haven't has much time to connect, but we've hung out a few times. Sushi twice (first my treat, second hers), and then we volunteered together at a recent Santa parade. Apart from that, we text every few days or so. It's really, really light. What I'd really like help with is language to use to figure out what her intentions are, without scaring her off. She's quite shy and even she admits that she's rather passive, so naturally I'd rather not freak her out. Is is too soon to ask what her last relationship was like? Or is that off the table? Like I've We haven't had a talk about anything more official nor has anything physical happened, but I do get the feeling like she's at least interested. Like I said, she's really shy so I think that accounts for her aloofness. I'm cooking dinner tonight for the two of us, so I'd like to have some conversation with her about it then.
What are good words and questions to use to figure out where someone sees something going, without really grabbing the bull the proverbial horns.
t3_m6yns
BreakUps
i'm reaching out because i don't know where to go from here, please talk to me
r/breakups, Me and my ex are in our early 20s, we were together for about a year and a half. I say ex because I don't know what else to call him. He has asked me for space and time to figure his stuff out. He tried to end things with me several times over the same strange reason (my past before he was in my life). This time he asked me to come get my things from his apt, so I did. We have slept together 3 times since the initial breakup, and I know he went out of town to try and sleep with another girl to make himself feel better. He ended up not sleeping with her. But after this rocky road he says he just wants space, and he wants to talk at some point. He has been coming over to see me because I'm sort of sick. And today wanted to take me to the doctor. But we have not been texting, or being physical in any way since he asked for this space/time. I'm not okay r/breakups, I feel unstable. I don't know how to get my life on track and I feel like this is just his version of a slow breakup. I burst out into tears randomly, and when I think about him at his apartment I just feel sick in my stomach. I want to know what's going on but I don't want to call and ask. Should I move on? Do I consider this a breakup? How can I make the day by day go easier? I could really use some hugs here...I'm a mess. We were going to get married...
Calling him an ex as he has asked for space and time, we've still seen eachother a few times, but only in settings where we did not touch or kiss. How do I know when it's really over? And should I be preparing for that now? I don't know where to go from here.
t3_4kl0c9
relationships
My [20F] boyfriend [22M] didn't invite me to a dinner he's going to with 2 other couples? I feel hurt.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. This weekend, we have spent the majority of our time together (friday night, saturday morning, and saturday night) and we were planning on seeing eachother again later tonight. I texted him asking about what the plan was for tonight, and he told me he was going to dinner with his two roommates and their girlfriends (the gfs are coming up to visit from a different city.) and asked if I wanted to go. He literally asked me this right when they were about to go, probably just because I asked him what he was up to. He said that he was good with being a '5th wheel' because he spent a fair amount of time being a couple with me this weekend and wanted to unwind a bit. I understand we all need our space, but I'm a bit hurt. (PS I'm definitely not accusing him of cheating or anything, Im just hurt he didn't want me there....) Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
my bf is going out with two couples tonight for dinner, and didn't want to invite me because he wanted time to unwind after spending a fair amount of time together as a couple this weekend. i am upset about this, what should i do/am i being unreasonable?
t3_wj98b
AskReddit
What is the craziest story that someone has told you that still has you wondering whether it was true?
My mother grew up in India, which is a very spiritual country. She has told me countless stories of seeing ghosts in her neighbors' houses, children recounting their past lives after being reincarnated, etc. I'm a pretty skeptical person so I've held most of these stories to be fake, except for one. She told me a story about a makeshift ouija board that her siblings and cousins made for fun one night (they were pretty poor). They came in contact with a supposed "spirit" and began asking it questions about when my mother's eldest sister would be wed (she wasn't present that night, nor did she hear about this story until several months later). The "spirit" gave them a specific date of when her sister would be engaged, which was only three weeks away. They all considered this highly impractical because my mother's sister was single at the time. Lo and behold, three weeks later, on the specific date that the "spirit" had given, my mother's sister announced that she was getting married to a man that she had met just two weeks before. I've talked to all of my aunts and uncles and they all claim that this story is true. I don't believe in ghosts or supernatural forces, but this story always made me wonder what really happened.
Supposedly a spirit gave the exact date of when my aunt would be engaged.
t3_q2574
dating_advice
What's going on?
Me 23/F, him 24/M. So I was seeing this guy for a few weeks and all was well, we were really into each other and all that jazz. He asked me one night if we should "make it official" and of course I said yes. Great. We spent a glorious night together having sexy times. Ever since then, yes we still communicate just as much and he messages me throughout the day when hes at work. We have plans for the weekend for me and him and his friends to go out. But his tone has changed. You know when you just feel like something is wrong? Like he doesn't say he can't wait to see me, no more I miss you's, no more sweet talk. He's been talking to me like im his friend when the last month he's been nothing but sweet talking-- not that I want that all the time it's just weird how it all suddenly stopped. He doesn't say goodnight anymore, he won't reply to me for hours when HES the one who primarily messages me. Im not a clingy person so I usually wait for him to message me because he works a lot and let him do his own thing. I've decided in a few days if I still feel this way im going to just flat out ask him if something is bothering him, but does anyone have opinions or advice on whats going on? The only thing I can think of here is: He's told me before we even had sex hes paranoid to get someone pregnant or contract an STD, but we use condoms and we're both clean. The last night I saw him we didn't use one, but im on BC and he pulled out. Later he texted me saying "Im a little paranoid about what happened" and I reassured him that everything would be fine. Other than that I don't know. Maybe because that was the first time he saw me wake up in the morning he didn't like what he saw? lol. Even that morning we had sex and that was the first time I couldn't get him off. For hours... he just wouldn't. I never had that problem with him.
Was just asked to become official with someone after seeing them a while, now hes being weird. Why?
t3_4t8pc9
dating_advice
Girl I'm digging and dating says she's "open to anything."
I will preface this with my own answer: just chill out and have a good time while it lasts and maybe it will last longer than I expect. I'm also going to anticipate those who are going to say "You've only gone on three dates! Stop smothering her! yada yada yada." Yeah, cool. I'm not doing that. I'm just spitballing here. I wouldn't expect anything serious for a long while. I'm 34. She's 39. I have minimal relationship experience and she's been in several relationships including a 10 year marriage. We've gone on 3 really great dates and 1 hookup after the 3rd date. I'm really proud of myself because I'm taking it slow and only texting to set up dates with an occasional "hope things are well" but it's been very, very minimal. I met her on OKC. We had a short conversation about what is expected out of what we want. It happened on the 3rd date. I'm pretty sure we are on the same page. She's cool with me dating other people. I am cool if she does as well. The short conversation did express my feelings as to a hope that anyone I dated for a long while could turn into a relationship if it felt right. I never said I wanted to get serious. I just am cool with a relationship if it turns out we dig each other for a long while. She said that's not what she's initially looking for but she "can't tell the future" (which I thought was odd because I wasn't asking her to) and that she's "open to anything." We are having a good time and, even though I'm dating other people as well, so far, I like her the best although 3 dates isn't enough to know. However, I think we get along really well. When we hooked up, she said she thinks about me from time to time and she tells me all the time that she likes me. That's the best I could hope for a 3rd date and a early morning hookup! Possible
Sorry for the ramble. I guess this is what I am asking: does a woman that says she is open to anything but not looking for anything serious off the bat ever get to a place where that could be a possibility? Have you ever thought you didn't want to get serious and, in the course of time, ended up getting serious? Again, it's cool if not since we've laid out the fact we can date other people. Maybe this is a stupid question.
t3_2h9df8
relationships
My [28M] wife [35F] picks fights with me, takes then too far, then expects me to forgive and forget with no resolution
Married just over a year. 99% of the time we are great. We recently returned from a trip with my wife to visit her family. The whole time she was lovey dovey and affectionate. The day after we got back she had a bad attitude. We had some issues with our power bill that she was working on. She did a spreadsheet and determined we were being charged erroneously. I asked to see the spreadsheet before i called the company so that i could try to understand what was going on before i called. She got defensive and accused me of questioning her, something she often does when i ask questions to her when I really was just trying to understand. The whole thing quickly spiraled and ended up in other subjects and her threatening to divorce me when I got angry and slammed a door. She picked a stupid fight with me out of nowhere for no good reason and kept pushing and pushing me until i expressed my anger by slamming the door, which i acknowledge was wrong, but she refused to accept responsibility for baiting me into it. She tried to tell me that i could just walk away and cool off but its bullshit because she ALWAYS holds it against me in the fight. But then today she acts like nothing happened and when I try to talk about it she just says "were gonna fight from time to time, its no big deal". Then she gets annoyed if i keep trying to talk about it. This is how it ALWAYS is when we fight. She picks a fight, takes it too far, then expects me to act like nothing ever happened. I feel like she makes our fights so much worse than they should be but then she robs us of any opportunity to grow from it. And half the time she tries to seduce me almost as a way to avoid the talk.
Wife is horrible to me during fights, treats me like the bad guy, then expects me to just forgive and forget. What can I do to get her to actually listen to me?
t3_3d83fm
tifu
TIFU by making a girl uncomfortable
Hello! First Fuck up so bare with me :). This happened 3 days ago. Made a friend while playing league of legends (Lets call her K) and we started texting and snap chatting fairly quickly. We talked for 2 months and she was a good friend of mine, but I have a very flirtatious personality and she thought I had feelings for her. I certainly didn't have feelings for her and even if I did I wouldn't pursue anything because she lives in Florida and I live in Canada. K and I are texting and I guess I was being flirty and she said I'm making her uncomfortable and I ask if she would like me to stop talking to her as much and she agrees she could use a break from my "flirting". The next day she snaps me and I didn't reply and a few hours later she sends me another saying "ok then.." I send one back saying "I dont want to make you uncomfortable :)" I even put a fucking smiley boys. Then K sends a Snapchat back saying "im over it fuck off tbh" and yesterday she started talking to me and I asked if I'm making her uncomfortable and she said "yeah please stop talking to me". Today, she texted me and snapchatted me and then said she didn't mean to. what even just happened to me.
Girl said I made her uncomfortable and then got mad because I didn't talk to her.
t3_181bgt
Advice
Framed by crazy landlady?
So, 2 months ago I moved out of a house I was living in with my boyfriend. We lived there for over a year and the lease was up. The rent wasn't late and the house was in great condition when I left. I even repainted the interior (the original color) and power washed the outside. Our landlady wasn't happy when I told her we wouldn't be renewing the lease. She told me that she wanted us to stay until she could get another tenant lined up. We had no heating and no hot water in the middle of December (She said she would get around to fixing them for months) so needless to say, we didn't. Everything was OK until this week, she started sending me text messages accusing me of stealing various items of furniture and electrical appliances. She accused me of stealing things that were never in the house in the first place, like silk curtains, expensive chests of drawers and a brand new steam cleaner. I ignored the messages and put them down to her still being pissed that we left. Tonight she messaged me saying that she had contacted the authorities and was going to show them an illegal drug producing set-up I left in my attic? WTF? I don't do drugs not to mind have some kind of drug production set up in my old attic. This woman is crazy. I'm getting kind of freaked that she set something up in the attic that shes going to blame me for. Do I go to the cops or do I just ignore her? Additional info : She is actually crazy, she threw a cup of coffee at my car when I passed her in traffic last week and screamed at how she would help karma to destroy me. She said she was going to go to my boyfriend at work with printed extracts of diaries belonging to me, in which I apparently wrote about cheating on him multiple times. (We've been together 5 years and there has been no cheating or diaries.) So, anyone out there have a crazy landlord like this and how did you deal with them???
Crazy ass landlady trying to frame me for drug production.
t3_j522n
AskReddit
Legal advice after a crazy night.
Last weekend a couple of high school friends and I got together in Duluth, MN where some of them go to school. We are all 21 and we got a little bit too drunk. Somehow we slowly got separated throughout the night. I was with two of my friends at bar close. We walked out and I realized I had forgot my wallet inside. I turned to go back in and that is the last thing I remember until 5:30 AM. This is when I become aware again and I am walking alone around the streets of Duluth where I have never been before. I get ahold of one of the guys that lives there and he gives me directions to a house in which I can sleep. He picks me up later and asks if I know where the other two guys I was with are. Neither of us have any idea where they could be so we start checking detox and asking other people that we saw out that night. No luck. Turns out they were in jail. They don't remember anything from the night. But it turns out they were seen breaking two windshields with rocks and tipping over motorcycles at 3:30 AM. They both got arrested and are now charged with felony vandalism because the damage was over $1000 dollars. Their case is against the state and not the people who own the vehicles. My question is, why are they against the state and is there any way for them to get this dropped if they just pay the people who's property they damages. They have no priors so I don't understand why they are throwing the book at a couple of drunken idiots. Any advice or similar stories would be greatly appreciated.
My friends got blackout drunk, broke some windshields and are now charged with felony vandalism. Anyone have some legal advice or experience with similar circumstances?
t3_3w6b8q
tifu
TIFU by missing an exam that's worth a 5th of my grade.
This didn't actually happen today, but I'm still dealing with the consequences. Sorry this is so long, but it needs explaining. I'm taking this biology class this semester. All the tests and quizzes are online and my prof posts all the lectures online, so I often wouldn't go to class. This is my first fuck up. Somehow I got it into my head that my fourth exam was due on Monday the 7th. On Sunday night I checked online and it turns out the exam was due on Friday the 4th and I'd missed it. If I had gone to class at all last week, this wouldn't have happened. I checked the syllabus for the class and it very clearly says in bold that you cannot miss an exam, you have to take all four exams. Even says the word **BEWARE!** twice. This is when my stomach dropped. I fucked up big time. That exam was worth 100 points and the entire semester only had 500 points available. I quickly looked at my grades online and I only had 335 which out of 500 is 67%. At my college, to get credit for a class you have to have a 'C' or higher. This doesn't sound like that big of a fuck up, but let me explain. This is my last year in college. I need 18 credit hours each semester, and I need this class in particular to graduate. If I didn't get credit for that class this semester I would have to take an extra class over winter break to have enough credit hours for this semester AAAND next semester I would have to take the class I failed again, which wouldn't count towards the 18 credit hours. Which means I would have to petition to be able to take 21 credit hours (RARELY ALLOWED at my school). Basically made the rest of my year impossible while also having to work full time. I've emailed my professor and I basically pleaded with him to let me take the exam or basically do ANYTHING for 50 more points overall, just enough points to be able to get credit for the class.
I fucked up my entire school year by thinking my exam was on the 7th when it was actually on the 4th.
t3_1xru3b
relationships
I'm [24M] starting to have feelings for my college friend [23F]
We met in Fall semester in senior year of college. We were never that close.. I guess we saw each other at events on campus and had a passing "hi how are you?" sorta relationship. She had a boyfriend since the day I met her. Anyway, fast forward to spring semester, she lived in the suite next to me, so I saw her a lot more, and we had a similar schedule, so we'd get food and hang out a lot more, but AS FRIENDS. We became really close and we're very much alike and I really enjoy this person's company, just as platonic friends. Anyway, I didn't really feel anything for her until lately. We still kept in touch after graduation, but didn't really see her much, until recently. She started a job near my workplace, so we'd sometimes grab lunch and go happy hour after work. There's been obvious tension in the air, and I think I'm starting to want to be more than friends. Anyway, I've drunkenly passed that notion by her a couple times, and she just says she can't because she's in a relationship. So ok, that's cool, I guess I'll just work on getting rid of my feelings and just stay platonic friends with her because well... she's been a really good friend through and through and I'd like to at least keep that. But last week when we hung out, we made out. We've hung out once or twice since that with nothing happening, but we didn't really talk about it, other than me going, "hey so.... about that thing", which she responds with "yeah, we both just had a little too much" and brushed it off. I'm confused. I know, the easy answer is just "STOP SEEING HER," but I don't have many close/long-time friends around and seeing how she's been a really compatible one, I don't want to lose that. P.S. I have no idea what the appropriate flair for this is.
don't know what to do about feelings for this girl i've known for a while now
t3_1plcxu
relationships
Me[22/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] of 3 months, wants "space."
A little history of us both: I'm a bit more experienced and had 3 boyfriends. He has only had 1 girlfriend and has been single for 6 years. I'm a city girl, he's a suburban guy. We went to the same university, had one mutual friend, never talked until after we BOTH graduated. We seem crazy different right? Fastforward..summer begins. -- Everything was has been going perfect with my boyfriend since this summer. Of course, like with any relationship, there were a few problems since we are still getting used to each other, but they were always dealt with as soon as they came up. But now that he's back in school full time and I just started working full time, things have been a bit stressful for us both. Today, he tells me that he feels "smothered." WTF? I didn't even know how to take that because we only hang out during the weekends.. I think this has came up before where he told me that he was just so used to be alone that he had to get used to having me around. But I honestly thought that that phase was over because just two weeks ago, he told me that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me and today he wants "space?" He has mentioned before that he thinks that I have been changing to make him happy and I have NOT changed one bit. The only thing that has changed is that I have a full time job and he is in school full time. I am just so upset because I don't know how to take this. I haven't talked to him since and he hasn't said anything either. I know we have our differences but I thought that we had achieved a middle ground. I know that our relationship is still new and that I shouldn't freak out. At the same time, it's also why I SHOULD freak out. Why is my boyfriend of just THREE months want space? Please tell me that I'm crazy for thinking like this.
My inexperienced boyfriend and I, who is more experienced are totally different people, but we liked each other somehow. Now it has been three months and he wants "space."
t3_4z6l82
relationships
He [26M] convinced me [27F] to say those three words, but left me hanging
I've [27F] known my new BF [26M] for almost a decade, but we just started dating a few weeks ago. Things have been very hot, heavy, and intense as fuck. We've been pretty close to inseparable since we started hanging out again. I've been having love type feelings for him since day one (pretty much), but I've been holding back from saying anything. He just got out of a relationship and it seemed he wanted to take things slow. So I was working with that and holding back. Plus, I was afraid of jumping in too deep too fast with him. We've sort of slipped and called each other "love" endearingly, but hadn't said "I love you". To me, it should be special. Not necessarily reciprocated at that moment, but still a special moment. Last night he asked me several times to say it to him, so I did, against my better judgement. And I got nothing in return. He just wanted me to say it to him, he wanted to hear it. I felt so vulnurable. I had opened up to him in the past, but it had been my choice to show that to him. I was the one who mentally prepared before ripping off the bandaid. This time, he ripped it off. If I had told him when I was ready, even if he wasn't ready to say it back yet, it would be totally different. I'm feeling vulnerable, hurt, and angry at him for convincing me to do that without considering my feelings. I tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't really see anything wrong with it. He doesn't like that it upset me, and believes that anytime I try to talk to him about it it will just turn into a fight. I don't want to fight, I just want him to understand how badly he hurt me by not considering my feelings and how saying that would affect me. Any advice on how to handle this situation?
new BF convinced me to say "I love you" before I was 100% ready, with no response, and doesn't see how this negatively effected me.
t3_2vx5yh
tifu
Tifu by giving into my (now ex) girlfriend
This happened a few months ago A few months ago when I was still with my girlfriend I was really sick. Lasted about a week. Before that me and her hadn't been very intimate for about a month I'd say. One night she comes to visit me while I'm on the recovery end of my sickness. Still wasn't feeling 100% but I was up and about again. She decides it's a good idea to bring up that we haven't been very physical lately. I tell her that I know and that I'm sorry that I'm sick and what not. She gets kinda sad and mentions how no one is home and how horny she is. I was reluctant at first but eventually give in. We start doing the dirty and after about 5 minutes I get the chills and start sweating profusely. I end up passing out. She apparently didn't know what to do so she called 911 and I woke up to them putting me in the ambulance. They sent me home after they checked me out and told me that I should wait until I'm back to full health to have sex again. Didn't make a difference anyway becuase my ex was too afraid to have sex with me after that.
passed out while having sex with my ex
t3_wdp6d
AskReddit
USA Winter Holiday
G'Day Reddit, I'm an Australian who is planning a four week USA holiday at the end of this year and I need your help. I want to know what your favourite places to visit are, what is worth seeing, and any lesser-known places that tourists wouldn't know about. So you know what sort of sights and sounds I might enjoy: I'm 20, a chef, a chronic metal head, big video game fan and a nature/national park lover. I really want to visit the Nappa Valley to sample several restaurants wares, go to Yellowstone and Yosemite, visit universal studios and blizzard and valve HQ. hopefully there will be some heavy metal or rock concerts on through December and January I can go to, if people know of them let me know, info has been hard to find. I have no idea if I can manage that all in 4 weeks. Don't worry about cost, I'll work out what I can afford to do. For accommodation, are there any backpackers/hostels you recommend? Is couchsurfing.net safe and reliable? I've had people say the US is too big to see everything in four weeks, what do you guys think? Should I stick to west coast or east coast? Hopefully that was clear enough. Thanks for any help and information.
Aussie coming to Murica, tell me your favourite places to see, things to do and restaurants to eat at.
t3_352fje
relationships
I'm [35 M] am getting annoyed with a girl I dated [33 F] because she keeps liking my friend's Facebook pics and such
I normally don't let this bother me, but I feel like she's doing it on purpose right now. Recently, had it out with a girl I dated for a bit off and on. I remain friend's with her on Facebook. She remains friends with my friend's on Facebook. I barely notice she's there, I post something and nothing gets said, no likes, nothing.. and vice versa. But then, she goes ahead and likes all my friend's posts and pictures and such. She's not even real friends with them, just facebook friends, and I feel like she is doing to gather attention and to let me know she is still "there". And purposely not liking my stuff makes me feel like she hates me and doing it to punish me, despite me doing absolutely nothing wrong to her. Should I ask my friends to remove her as a friend from Facebook at this point? I don't like being this childish but honestly, her behaviour makes me want her further out of my life as possible.
Girl I dated keeps liking Facebook pics and such from friends.
t3_3h1dqs
Advice
[Student] "Accidentally" took 2 jobs.
So I recently accepted a new job in a town that's half an hour away from where i live. I took it because a friend of mine put in a good word for me. But here is where i fucked up....During the time of my unemployment I was filing a bunch of applications. Wal-Mart, Autozone, Food places ect. I want to save up money to pay bills, repair my vehicle, and get a laptop ready for school this fall. Before My current job, i got a call from Wal-Mart, telling me to come in for the interview, i was happy because it was in my town and just 3 mins from my house. The interview went well i got told to come back for the 2nd interview. I went and did the drug test including and background check. The Manager told me I would be called in 2 days to schedule my orientation. 2 weeks later i did not get a single call. But during that time I also had an interview with this Burger joint, i missed the interview because i thought i got the job at Walmart. Eventually i called back telling the manager I apologize and told him i was in the process of applying for a bunch of jobs. Eventually after all the mess. My impatient self took the restaurant job. I was hired on spot (10 bucks the hour) because of my work history with Chipotle. Now after a week working there. 3 weeks after the interview with Walmart..I get a call this morning from wal-mart telling me they want to schedule my orientation. I am fucked...I am afraid of ruining my work reputation and my buddy who is working at the restaurant with me who put in a good word for me. I want to take the wal-mart job because its closer to my school and house. Walmart will pay me (10.50) for starting pay. Both jobs told me during the interview they are willing to work with me on school scheduling I just need some advice on what i should do.
I took a 2nd choice job thinking i wouldn't get hired from the first choice...
t3_3hou18
legaladvice
What is the Portland law on how many people can be in a bedroom?
So I'm on Facebook asking if there's a place to rent in the Portland housing classifieds. We have a few kids, enough that people think that you cannot put more than 2 kids per room. There seems to be a line in the housing code that they should follow the "2+1" rule for renting. However, when reading the code, this seems to be even more of a guideline than a rule, and is even mentioned as such by the mayor in a PDF I found from a few years ago. With housing so tight and people failing to find housing for one reason or another (and I plan to move my family up in a couple of months. I work in Portland right now), it would be nice to be able to come at this problem to show landlords that this isn't a law but a guideline, and shouldn't be treated as such.
Trying to show that the "2+1" "law" for renting in Portland is a guideline and not law.
t3_4kpb5e
relationships
I(16m) have been put in an awkward situation by two girls(both 16f) I have a crush on
This is my first post and I'm on my phone, so sorry for any errors Basically what happened was that all through out lunch, while I was sitting with them, every once and a while one of them would look at me, then look at the other one and say "my theory is right, I know it" this happened a lot throughout the whole lunch. After lunch I finally learned what their theorys were. Their theorys were that I had a crush on the other one. So girl A thought I had a crush on girl B, and vice versa. I'm kind of in a tough spot, because I said that one was right, and cause I have a crush on both of them. what do I do reddit?
two friends I have a crush on both think I have a crush on the other one. I already said one was right, although not which one. What do?
t3_3pbg70
relationships
I'm [19/M] not attracted to her [19/F].
So, here's the thing: I think I've accidentally led on a girl (X), but I only think of her as a friend. I want to punch myself in the face for accidentally leading X on and not drawing boundaries earlier. There's nothing wrong with her; she made the first move, and I was too stupid to do anything about it. So, now I'm kind of in a hole. I don't feel attracted to X romantically. I'm dreading the inevitable outcome, where I tell X exactly what I'm telling you right now. There's not really much I can do to soften the blow, is there? I want her to continue being who she is, and to just look past my idiocy. I know it's hard for me, but I can't imagine what she'll feel when I tell her this. It's a friendship that I really don't want to lose, but I know that it's the most probable outcome. Reddit, how do I go about this? I'm not one to beat around the bush. I know that this is absolutely something I have to do; is there any way to soften this for her?
I'm an idiot, accidentally led on a girl.
t3_53dryi
relationships
I(14f) had only just broke up with my ex(18m) of 4 years, I met someone after a month. Is this okay?
Edit: not 14f! 18f So my ex and I broke up just over 2 months ago, we'd been dating for quite some time since we were both 14. My ex and I broke up early July because he was not happy with himself and being in a relationship. I was initially upset but I talked to him more about it and I agreed that it was best we broke up. It's been 2 months since then. I met someone a month after the break up and we really got along, we have so much in common and he admitted to feeling the same way for me. Prior to meeting him I didn't plan on getting into a relationship soon. I guess I'm asking if it's okay for me to get into a relationship so soon after a break up, since my ex and I share the same friends I'm afraid they'll think that I left my ex for this new person. And I'm also afraid that I might be making a mistake with just getting into a new relationship. My ex has also come back into my life saying he's made a mistake. I don't want to come back to him at all, I feel like being in a relationship will trigger something in him and do something to hurt me.
Ex and I ended a 4 year relationship and a month later found someone I really get along with. Ex has come back to my life saying he made a mistake. Is it okay to be in a new relationship now?
t3_302mhg
tifu
TIFU by trying to be a help a cop
Sorry about the title. "trying to help a cop" This FU actually happened 8 years ago, I was 8 at the time. Here it is One day after school I went over to a friends house, Eric, to play some video games, and soccer. When we were outside playing soccer, we heard a police siren, and engines screaming down the road. A couple of seconds later a Monte Carlo turns into the small street next to my friends house. Now, Eric's house is at the corner of a small street and a two-lane street. We then realized that they had stopped about a block down the street(Important). Eric then tells me he saw something get thrown out of the cars window, and is lying in the middle of the street. Us being curios , we go check to see what it is. What we find are two small baggies containing something white, like flower. Eric says its drugs, and instantly money signs pop in my head. (Too many crime stoppers commercials). Here is when I fucked up. I said "lets tell the cop, and maybe he will give us a reward" haha, right. After a couple of minutes I finally convinced to come with me and tell the cops, Eric was hesitant. So we fetch the officer, he picks the baggies up and says "crack cocaine." He then gets our information and said we were good boys. After the cops leave, suspect in the cop car, we continue playing soccer. THEN, a swarm of about 20 grown ass men and women- (i'm talking fresh outta jail) approach us saying many bad words, and in this confusion I start hearing "cousin." I realized something, The house they had stopped by.... WAS THEIR FAMILIES HOME!!!!!! As they're approaching, my friend and I run inside and I grab my stuff in a flurry. I didn't even say goodbye. So there I am pacing swiftly towards home with a crowd of gang bangers behind me screaming many,many bad things. I got home scared shitless. I'm surprised I wasn't shot that day. Up to this day, I get the shits when I go down that road.
Tried to be a DEA agent. Nearly got my ass whooped by bangers. Am scared for life
t3_2njqjn
relationships
Home from college, my parents won't let me [18/f] stay overnight with my boyfriend [20/m]
I have a question about how to go about this situation in the best way. I am a college freshman home for thanksgiving break. In high school, when I was not 18 yet, my parents were really strict about my curfew (11pm in my state) and refused to let me stay overnight with my boyfriend. Actually, they would not let me stay anywhere overnight unless they could talk to someone's parents and verify that there are no drinking/drugs/guys there. For some reason they don't want me to stay over with my boyfriend even though my mom knows I am on birth control, just because it's not "morally right". We've been dating for a year and a half. However, I am 18 now and I would like to stay over at a party this Friday. I know that my parents are going to say no initially, but I want to have a fair chance at convincing them. I've been staying over at my boyfriend's apartment every weekend during school anyways. When I would ask them during high school, they would always say that are afraid of their reputation as parents if someone found out I was staying over (honestly who would even ask them in the first place what I'm up to on a Friday night? Or care that I'm staying at a party?). Overall, I just want to know if anyone has had a similar experience with their parents and can help guide me through the process of convincing them to let me stay. I've already tried lying about where I was and it did NOT work (last year). I want to be honest.
I want to stay over at a party coming up this weekend, as a college student on break. My parents are strict and I want to convince them to let me.
t3_2auex4
relationships
I [22F] am pretty sure that my Mother [59F] is depressed and I don't know how to help her.
Alright, so I frequent this subreddit. I am at a loss right now. For the past couple of months, I've been suspicious that my Mom is depressed. She talks about how she's unhappy with her and my fathers marriage, and has also mentioned how divorce would be the 'easy way out'... I had no idea things were that bad between them until she said that.. I know that after my father had heart surgery, his personality flipped and he became way more cold but.. I didn't know to what extent, considering I no longer live with my parents. Also, today while I was over at their house doing laundry, she mentioned how she didn't shower or go to the store yet (it was around noon) because she's depressed, but "whatever". That's when it hit me; I realized that there's little things she had said over the past couple of months that kind of showed that she would feel this way... I have absolutely no idea how to help her... I know that my dad is more than likely oblivious to how she feels.. also, the fact that she works at the hospital in the renal department (and absolutely hates her job as a CNA) probably isn't helping either..
Mother is depressed. I have no idea how to help her.
t3_2dp1u8
relationships
How can I [17 F] help my mom [53 F] with cancer feel better?
Hello! I'm not sure if my question belongs here so I apologize if it doesn't but please bear with me! My mom has breast cancer, and she's currently undergoing chemo that gives her constant stomachaces, constipation, body pains, etc. She is pretty much bedridden and cannot walk/stand for too long and usually spends her time watching movies and youtubing. Right now, she's curled up in bed with another horrific stomach ache and I wish I could help in some way, but I'm scared of getting in the way of her recovery (e.g. with me in the room she may feel hindered and can't sleep etc). Right now all I'm doing is checking up on her regularly and making sure she has warm water and medicine ready for her. What else can I do to make her feel better?
Mom's tummy hurts, what do?
t3_3csune
tifu
TIFU by talking to grandpa
So, my grandfather is a wealthy businessman who loves to go on and on about business and new ideas he has and things like that even tho he has been retired for over 25 years. His favorite saying is "I'm retired but not tired!" On this particular day, I've just finished hosting a bunch of family members at my place and I'm walking my grandfather out to his car. We are talking and just catching up on life when I casually mention that I have a business idea that I've been working on for the past few weeks. After describing it to him, he gets angry that I didn't come to him sooner. He gives me $500 which I protest to (but happily receive as I'm broke as hell!). I run back to my house and start jumping for joy and then I wake up.... I fucking wake up and remember that my grandpa has been dead for a few years now.... And I'm also still broke. This is the second time this has happened... Not gonna lie, that moment of realization is the most depressing thing ever.
grandpa is still dead. I'm still broke.
t3_2oeu2d
tifu
TIFU by spending time calculating my grade instead of writing my paper
So I'm taking a brutal class this semester taught by our universities assistant dean. It also doesn't help that I've been sick constantly and missed class a few times, as well as some assignments. The end of semester is here and today there is a lab write up due. Of course it's on one of the few labs I was sick during. So here I am, attempting to bs a paper that will be read by someone who is paid to see through bs. And I decide to start calculating what my grade is at now. This isn't easy because at the end of the semester she curves the grades. But unless the curve is substantial I'm pretty much going to fail. Doing this took quite a bit of time and I'm now 30 min away from the deadline and there is absolutely no way I can write the paper in that short of time. Hell, I don't know if I could write it at all since I don't really know what we did for the lab. So pretty much I'm going to fail this class.
I'm taking a really hard class and instead of attempting to work on an assignment I calculated my grade to find out how screwed I am ( very screwed)
t3_332prp
relationship_advice
I [M/22] am in love with my ex Gf [F/20] who recently came out as gay. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but it's painful
I broke up with my ex a year ago. During that time we became better friends than we ever were when we were dating, I basically love her more now than I did when we were dating. In this same period she also began to realise that she was gay As much as I love her I know a sexual relationship is impossible and I know I can love her in a way she can't love me back, but I still care for her and she cares for me. Emotionally we still connect even though I know that physically it is not the same. (We never could connect physically properly for reasons that are now clear, this was why we broke up) I need to move on, I cant have relationship with her, but I don't know how I can be in another relationship while she is a part of my life. I don't know how I can move on and have another chance while I am hung up on her. We are best friends, I am the only one she has told about being gay afaik. She is my best friend and I don't want to lose her as a friend but its really painful to be around her. The problem is we broke up physically but not emotionally. We still do almost all the same bf/gf stuff we did while dating minus the sex. How do I detach and not lose how close we are?
My ex is gay. We still care about eachother, but not in the same way. How can I move on but keep her in my life?
t3_3dx5ht
legaladvice
How can I(Texas) get my girlfriend(Ontario) to live with me?
Okay, so there's a lot of backstory here, but the long and short of it is that my girlfriend was in a bad situation with a roommate and moved to what seemed like a comparatively better situation which actually turned out to be worse, so now the only option remaining is to move her down here with me. Her stress level is beyond intolerable and she's very nearly at wit's end. I've spoken with a lawyer who worked for 10 years as a border officer about several options, but I'd like to get a few extra opinions even if they end up being the same. Also, it's been a month or two since I've spoken with that individual so a lot of the finer details have slipped my mind. Basically, she's concerned she won't be allowed entry because she has an overstay on record. The lawyer I spoke with noted that overstays are common and are not an offense that can result in permanent denial of entry to the US. I was curious about that. Please provide ANY possible options if you are able so long as they're reasonable, and relatively inexpensive. K1 Visa is out of the question for that reason.
Saving girlfriend from Canada, need to know everything I need to do to get it done properly.
t3_4q1b76
relationships
Me (30F) doesn't trust partner (31M) to know what he wants
I have been seeing someone for just over two years. It's been incredibly rocky from the start but we knew each other well and we were good friends before we started dating. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine how it went wrong. We both have had a very difficult past with relationships and trust. And we have decided to take a break and think about whether or not we want to continue. Now that I have some space I am getting some much needed clarity. I realize that I don't trust him to know, or to act on what he wants. I don't think he wanted to continue our relationship very early on and did anyway. In his previous relationship he openly admits to staying way past knowing that it was over. I feel resentful and realize that probably many of the problems that were immediately evident were part of this resentment and lack of trust. Isn't this trust in its most basic form? Trusting that someone is being honest about their feelings for you? I love this person very much. And I think there is a lot worth saving. But I don't feel right fighting for it. I feel like I'm taking advantage of someone who has been hurt and doesn't know how to end it themselves . If this basic trust isn't there I feel like there isn't much point in carrying on. Does anyone else have experience with this kind of trust issue?
Currently on break from partner of 2 years. Realized I don't trust him to know what he wants or trust him to be honest about wanting to end it. Am i doing the wrong thing by wanting to fix things between us?
t3_4icyf1
relationships
How can I get my [24M] boyfriend and myself[23F] to be cleaner?
We're pretty solid, going on 5 years and have lived together (more because of financial reasons then a huge relationship jump because we're still in uni) for about 3 years. But I'm going crazy how messy we are as people! And it drives me nuts because it goes beyond what I'm comfortable with but neither of us feel inclined to clean without the other and we work on different schedules, as I'm very early mornings and he's late afternoons. He isn't bugged by the mess but it is driving me nuts and I would love some steps working towards being better, as a couple.
messy couple needs help be not messy
t3_3fl5nb
askwomenadvice
Girl has not seen my facebook msg even if she was seen as active. What does this mean?
Hey all, Thank you for reading this post. I have a situation where there is this girl at work whom i am interested in. She is usually pretty quiet and on the sideline of things. Usually doesnt speak unless addressed upon. I usually initiates convos with her where she usually asks questions back to keep the convo going for a bit. I added her on facebook hoping to talk to her outside of my work. However, it was evident that she did not use facebook very often (checking once every other day?). I started convos with her on there anyway. because of her infrequent use of facebook, it was hard to keep the convo more than just a few lines. Lately, she has been seen active on facebook, but not seen my two facebook msgs (first one sent on 7/18, and second one sent on the 22nd). Does this mean that she is not interested? Thank you for your time!
(shy?) girl is active on facebook but hasnt ready my msgs. What does this mean?
t3_46udc4
tifu
TIFU by converting my gas grill from Propane to Natural Gas
This one actually happened a few hours ago.. Converted my Weber Spirit from LP to natural gas by changing the orifices. A buddy told me that natural gas coming into your house is already regulated, so I figure I'll just give it a shot without adding a pressure regulator. Grill lights, all is seemingly good. I close the lid and watch the heat rise...fast! The temperature needle on the lid thermometer go past the 600F mark. I turned it down, determined to get some burgers grilled for dinner, and start googling regulators and am not paying very much attention. Temperature keeps rising until I hear a loud thud and see: This is my normal grilling spot on LP, which probably wasn't smart either. I was too close to the window for this extra hot grill I was operating. Regulator ordered, grill will be relocated. Oh, and I'll call a glass guy on Monday :|
converted a gas grill without really knowing what I was doing. Cracked my dining room window by leaving the extra hot grill too close.
t3_444oml
relationship_advice
LDR, I(23/F) plan on moving to him(24/M) but we have no idea what we're doing
We've have been together for 3 years and see each other about once a month. Overall we have a very healthy relationship. I've recently started conversations about getting our own place together. Scared him at first, like he thought I was gonna give him an ultimatum or something, he relaxed once he realized I wanted to start having actual conversations about how to make it a reality. Based on various things in our lives(Ex. I'm done with school, he's not. He has a job in his field, I don't.), I think it's best that I move to his state which I'm okay with. He feels a bit selfish about it but agrees with my reasoning. Problem is we both live with our parents and are pretty overwhelmed with the idea of moving out the first time. To live with an SO, no less, which is a stage of relationship neither of us has dealt with before. And in my case, moving to a different state and having to deal with random things like finding a new vet for my cat. It's a lot of new stuff and we're kinda in over our heads.
How do we go from LDR and living with our parents to living together? First apartment info is easy to find, moving out for the first time with an SO is a bit more complicated.
t3_3vg84e
relationships
I (30M) used to be a really confident and sure person, now I'm pretty sure I'm no more than a cowering lackey. How can I get back to where I was?
To shorten what could be a much longer story, I had a few incidents and a lot of bad luck a few years ago that really set me back somewhat in life. Prior to it, I was a really confident person and could articulate myself really well. I was going places in life and I was doing well. After everything happened to me a few years ago, I find that I'm almost just a polar opposite. I feel like being in control of my life and being confident, I'm now just a lackey that virtually can't even find the courage to do anything on my own. It hasn't helped that the jobs I've had in the past few years have put me in a completely subservient role as opposed to a managerial one that I'd had in the past. I've found that it's reached me in so many areas. I can't ever seem to stand up for myself at work, I cower down to anyone, I always feel like there's something I'm going to say or do that's wrong, I'm just feeling so meek and lowly. I know it's affected my life otherwise, my wife has certainly noticed it. Wheras before I was really sure of myself and confident, I can't stop myself from apologizing to her all the time and just cowering to her as well. I know she hates it and I hate it too. I just can't find the courage to act any differently. I've been seeing a few therapists the past few years about this and some severe depression I've suffered as well, but neither talking it out or the forms of medication they've prescribed have really made any tangible change for me. Can anyone recommend how I can get out of this? I want to get back to being the confident and sure person I was before, not this coward I am now.
I took a hit in life that changed me from being a confident person to kind of being a cowering lackey and I could really use some advice on how to change that.
t3_120zf4
relationship_advice
I [18f] met my boyfriend [24m] online. Is the age gap too big?
I met my boyfriend online, we're both normal people that just couldn't find anyone we were in to in our normal daily lives. Firstly, do you think it is acceptable to tell people that we met online? We've been just saying we met through friends, but I know he hates lying. What are people's opinions after hearing someone as young as me (18) went on an online dating site? Secondly, I met him when he was 23, but he turned 24 a couple of months ago. Do you think this age gap is too big? I am still in University and he is working. We have the same maturity level and get along really well. I love him regardless and we have been in a relationship for about 6 months now. I just wanted to know what people thought; some of his friends have been really judgemental, and I want to know whether this would be the general consensus or whether that group is just more conservative.
Same as the title. My boyfriend is 24, I'm 18. Is the age gap too big?
t3_328l8d
relationships
How do I [21M] ask out my friend [22F] on a date after finding out she's into me?
So I confided in one of my friends [person A] a few weeks ago that I like someone else in our circle of friends [person B], who we've known for a few years now. Person A then told person B, which I felt a little betrayed about, but I'm not too bothered as it seems to have worked out in my favour, with person B telling A that she would go on a date with me if I asked. I've never actually asked a girl out, so I have no idea how to approach it, stupid as it may sound. When my friends told me about this, they said I should do it via Facebook messaging, because I probably won't see her for a few weeks now, but it feels a little impersonal to me, and I was wondering what you guys would think about that. Thanks guys!
Friend I'm into is also into me, no idea how to ask girls out, Facebook messaging too impersonal?
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relationships
I[20 M] think I have no interest in other people. How to change this?
I'm M20. I think I have no interest in other people. I don't usually have anything genuine to say when I'm with people. For example, for classmates or coworkers, I usually pretend to be more cheerful than normal, I think hard to come up with something to say, then I throw a bunch of comments that would not be silly or unrelated as much as possible. I believe that since I do not feel genuine interest in others, my body language let others know about this eventually. And it leads to less friends naturally and less social intereactions, which decreases social skills. Kinda vicious circle.
I think I have no interest in other people. How to change this?
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relationships
[18f]Dealing with first love[18m] breakup, help
So it's pretty straight forward. My now ex boyfriend [18m] and myself [18f] had been dating for a bit over 4 years. He broke up with me because he was unhappy in the relationship and he felt that that reflected in his actions towards me to make me unhappy hence feeling that a break up would be best for both our eventual happiness. I respect his honestly and i know that people eventually move on, i just wanted to know what i can do as of now now. He was my first everything and i've been unable to avoid thinking about him. As someone who's never been through a break up of a long term relationship before, i'm unsure of how to get back up. I'm thinking of looking for a job now that i've finished school, also exercising to produce endorphins etc, any other methods that have worked will be greatly appreciated. Thank you
first breakup of long relationship, would like tips on how to get better