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t3_ute8t | AskReddit | Consistently, one of my roommates will ask another roommate a question and the answer they get is completely beside the point. | Example:
Its as if I asked, "How's the weather?"
And you replied, "There are puddles on the ground"
oookk... sure it's related to the topic of weather but that doesn't really answer my question.
This happens all the time to me with them. Whether it's my conversation or I'm listening to their conversations I constantly notice these strange events. It's as if they're stupid or something but I refuse to believe that.
Example of a conversation my roommates had that I overheard:
Matt: "the fitness plan says we are supposed to eat 3 times a day within 8 hour periods"
Katt: "How is that different from what we are already doing?"
Matt: "Well by keeping food within 8 hour periods we should be stabilizing our metabolism"
This conversation angered and frustrated me because the meaning of Katt's question seems to have been completely disregarded. Matt's appropriate response should have compared the similarities to their previous meal plan and the one he was suggesting. They are already eating within 8 hour periods a day, that's what Katt was saying. | The people around me don't seem to fully comprehend the intention of questions often asked to them. Am I right to feel frustrated with them? |
t3_4xuhhg | relationships | Guy (40/M) who previously rejected me (37/F) years ago says he only rejected me because he was scared and wants me back? | Many years ago I was friends with a guy who showed all the signs of being really into me romantically and I felt the same but then once I showed how I felt he seemed to change his mind and dissapear. Recently I have met up with him again by chance and all the old feelings came back and and he feels the same. I expressed some doubt but he claims he was just scared witless by his feelings back then and did a runner and has always regretted it since.
I'd like to believe him but is this a plausible story, do me ever really reject a girl they really do like and have feelings for because they are scared or they like her too much etc? | Old flame who previously rejected me claims he always felt he'd made a mistake and regretted it saying he only split due to being scared. Can I believe him on this, do men really reject women they really like? Conventional wisdom says no but perhaps it does happen? |
t3_4upq6x | tifu | TIFU by going to the emergency room. | So, after reading [this fuck up] I knew I had to post mine.
Back in March, I woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning to a terrible stomach ache. After a couple of hours, it was almost unbearable. I called the hospital and they told me since the pain seemed like appendicitis, I should treat it as an emergency and come in, so I did.
I shouldn't have.
After being poked with IV's, having several blood tests done, a CT scan, and the rest of my day being spent in the hospital, the doctor came in with the results.
I had to poop. That was all. I've received over $7,000 in hospital bills because I had to take a shit. I could have easily bought a cheap over the counter medicine. I don't think I'm ever going to the hospital again. | Went to the hospital thinking I had appendicitis, just had to take a shit. I'm still getting hospital bills. |
t3_1vi2cw | relationships | Is it even worth it anymore? Desperately need advice and guidance | Hi reddit let me first apologize for the wall of text, but I come to you in search of answers so here it goes I (18m) am still in love with my ex girlfriend who is of the same age. We got together sophomore year and she had a pretty carefree idea of relationships until she met me we where together for the rest of high school up until about November 2013.
I will admit we both had our fair share of mistakes but our love kept us going through it all I might sound ridiculous for saying this at a young age but I truly honestly love this girl from the bottom of my heart and pray for the day I get to slide that ring on her finger.
Ok here's the problem since we broke up we stopped talking completely and I just found out she has a boyfriend which was a huge shock to me I literally died inside. In my honest opinion I feel as if this guy is a complete rebound for the time being and I honestly don't even worry about it because recently we've talked and she told me she still loves me and wants us to work in the future.
So here is the big questions am I stupid to believe this or should I better myself and wait for her? I know she will be worth it because before all this we talked about our future and how amazing it will be but I don't know if I should even wait for her, what if she doesn't come back? I'm heartbroken and need help | girlfriend of three years left and now has a new bf that seems like a complete rebound because she still tells me she loves me and wants us to be together in the future, am I stupid to wait? Should I not even believe her? |
t3_12eey2 | relationship_advice | I [20F] have been on 2 dates with a Chinese guy [20M] who speaks English as his second language. He told me he loves me after the second date. Advice? | So we have been on two dates and everything is looking great, due for a third tomorrow. However tonight as he was going to bed he told me he was in love with me and he loved this feeling. He only moved to this country (Australia) around 2 months ago so his English isn't perfect, ergo I think he might have just been trying to say "I really like you," but it came out wrong. The feeling he is talking about might be the honeymoon phase. My question is; how do I determine whether he actually believes he is in love with me after just 2 dates, or if this is just an awkward language/cultural translation and he doesn't actually mean it this way? | Chinese guy tells me he loves me, I think (hope) he mistranslated. What should I do? |
t3_2bd30p | relationships | Me [20 M/] with my girlfriend [22 F] of a few months, I'm having trouble accepting her sexual past. All the guys she has been with? How do I get over this? | My girlfriend and I were FWB for about 2 months, and recently started dating. I got out of an emotionally / mentally abusive relationship with an ex girlfriend. She helped me through it all, and talked to me about everything. We became really good friends during our FWB deal. But she is only my second sexual partner, aside of my ex girlfriend, she has had 10 before me, leaving me to be number 11. For some reason I have always been really against having a girlfriend with this many sexual partners, but she is really awesome, mentally stable, supportive, makes good money, her family is awesome, she is everything I want in an emotional partner, but when I start thinking of all the guys she has been with I get a nervous / disgusted / insecure / angry feeling. I know this isn't healthy for a relationship, And I want to fix it, but there are just some things that stick out in my mind all the time, and nag, and harp on me, like the fact she got an abortion 3 years ago, or all the sexual activities she has done. Or how she tells me her ex boyfriend used to "fuck her brains out". We're a really open couple and talk about all this stuff, but I just get bothered by it all, I know jealousy can be fatally toxic in a relationship, and I really don't want my insecurities to take a toll. Shes told me before I'm the only guy she could imagine a future with and it doesn't scare her to think of it, and she says I make her happier than anyone ever has, and how I have changed her life and turned it around, and its all good to hear, but my insecurities always come back to mind. How can I get over this? How do I accept her past, and either ignore it, or forget about it? | Girlfriend has had more sexual partners than me, it makes me insecure and I feel bothered / annoying / angry because of it. How do I fix this? |
t3_1c7wm3 | jobs | Need help. What am I doing wrong? | Hey there. I've been out of work for many months, living with my parents. I have applied to a ridiculous number of positions near my home, or on campus but have yet to receive any real offers.
Background: Full time 3rd year computer science student. I don't have a car. Bus to school. My grades for CS are very good (around 3.8), but overall 2.9 GPA (I partied way too much during my gen eds). Have had many jobs in the past, but have never really left a good impression. Been fired from several jobs for non-serious, yet legit reasons (being late a few times, making a mistake on a credit card receipt). Basically, I have almost no acceptable work references, nearly nothing useful to put on a resume, and I can only really work within a 5 mile radius of my house, or on campus because of a lack of transportation.
What I'm looking for: Literally anything that isn't fast food. I have been turned down by everyone from CS internships to gas stations. My parents are pretty poor, and they don't like me living with them because I stopped going to their church, and they have essentially given me an ultimatum to leave their house. Awesome. | College student. Must get a job or be kicked out by my parents. Have terrible work history, decent grades, no solid references, and can only work locally or on campus because no car. |
t3_bee6o | AskReddit | Question about Prednisone and Seroquel | So long story but my girlfriends mom got prescribed way too much prednisone for a rash and it set off this crazy series of manic behaviors (she was doing stuff like leaving messages on her machine that was just her going, "They're playing hells bells on the radio.....AWESOME".)
Her dad told her that they put her on Seroquel to help get over the effects andthat it wan't bipolar disorder, but there's a history of bipolar disorder. I don't want to stir the pot, and an I'm only an EMT and all I know is that Seroquel is a serious antipsychotic and it's a good sign your patient has mental health problems. I don't know if I believe that they would prescribe Seroquel to just level someone off a heavy dose of prednisone. Any MD's know if Seroquel can be used like this off label? | Girlfriend's Dad said her mom's erratic behavior is because of too much prednisone and now her mom is on Seroquel supposedly to level her off. Plausible story? |
t3_1yetox | relationships | Should I [24/M] try and help my Ex [24/F] a job? | We met while she was in school and after she graduated, she moved back to her hometown for better job prospects. I told her that I would follow her there, but she told me that I needed to "have something else there" besides her. I floundered for a bit finding a job that I would want, and after growing apart from the long distance, she broke up with me about four months ago. In total, we dated for 13 months when were together and another 8 months long distance (with semi-regular visits).
I took the breakup pretty hard. We've had limited contact and it's always been very "planned" and non-spontaneous (we're both walking on pins and needles around each-other). For the first two months, it was me (regrettably) initiating the conversations. I learned that she was dating somebody else right before Christmas. I made a new years resolution to try and move on.
Last week, she contacted me out of the blue. I *again* made a stupid mistake and picked up. She started telling me that she was extremely depressed (on zoloft) and that the job (which she moved back for) wasn't panning out the way she wanted. She told me that she had applied to a job by me and was planning on visiting sometime March/April. We did not talk about us.
Since the breakup, I've been working on my networking skills. I've realized since our conversation that I actually know someone who might help her get a job by me. I want to put the two of them in touch, but I can't figure out *why* I do. I care about her and I don't want her to be in a shitty professional situation - but she's still dating someone else. She broke up with me. It's...complicated. =/
Question - Do I put the two of them in touch? How is she going to interpret this? Am I overthinking this? | Do I help my long distance ex who is dating someone else find a job? |
t3_4j5fr3 | relationships | I (31M) saw my wife (26F) on cam and have no idea what to do. | I am crushed and mad as hell at the same time and don't know what to do. I work nights in a warehouse and sometimes it gets really boring and tonight I decided to check out a cam girl site that I've been checking on and off for about a year. I was just scrolling through the first page and I see my fucking wife fingering herself on CAM WTF!!!!! She's completely naked and showing her entire body in our guest bedroom in the basement. I am completely mortified, what if a family member or a friend sees her on that fucking site.
I don't know how to confront her, if I tell her I saw her on that site she will be pissed and turn it back around on me. The only reason she knows about that site is because she caught me on it a year ago and I swore I would never get on it again. I cant lie and say my friend saw her on it cuz she knows all my friends and it will make things really weird.
What makes me even more confused and crushed is that I never thought she could do this. She wont even get intimate with me with the lights on because she's insecure about her body.
Please help!!!!!!!!!! I cant talk to anyone else about this obviously. BTW I'm 31 and she's 26, we've been married 4 years. Also this is a throw away account incase it matters. | My wife is a cam girl behind my back and I need to know how to confront her without her using it against me because I was on the cam site. |
t3_n3cv1 | relationships | Reddit, any advice for three college girls living with an 80 year woman on how to handle this delicate situation? | So for various reasons I had to find an apartment this year on short notice and ended up signing a lease for a room in a 4 bedroom apartment with strangers. When I first moved in, 2 other girls in their early twenties were living in the other two rooms on the second floor, where my room also is. About a week after I moved in, an 80 year old woman moved into the room on the first floor. Considering I live in an almost exclusively college-aged building and neighborhood, this was a little weird and unexpected, but not really a huge deal.
The problem, unfortunately, is that she is incontinent and smells strongly of urine. To compound matters, she has basically turned the entire living room into an extension of her bedroom and spends all day sitting in there. When I accidentally made the mistake of sitting of "her" coach, I quickly found the entire cushion was soaked through. The smell permeates the entire first floor of our apartment. Initially we tried to address this by leaving air fresheners all over the first floor and keeping the windows open. While this didn't completely mask the smell, it helped enough that we could at least go downstairs. Now that it's winter in Wisconsin, we've had to close our windows and the smell is unbearable. It's gotten to the point where we hardly ever use the kitchen or living room, and can basically never have people over.
My other roommates and I have decided we need to finally find some way to address this with her but have no idea how to bring it up. On the few occasions where we've tried to talk about other concerns with her (such as leaving half eaten meat and dairy products in our dish cabinet for days on end) she became very hostile and defensive. I know there are some things you just can't control as you age and I want to be sensitive of her situation, but the rest of us are paying rent too and have been forced into a fairly impossible living situation.
Reddit, is it really possible she doesn't already know about this? Whether she does or doesn't, how could you ever go about bringing this up to someone? I feel really uncomfortable about potentially embarrassing her and would greatly appreciate any advice you can give! | Elderly woman lives in our apartment and is incontinent. The entire apartment smell like urine. Is there any way to sensitively bring this up or fix the problem? |
t3_3341kx | self | Venting about grill troubles. Advise? | I know I don't need a girlfriend, but gosh darn dang I sure do want one. I'm not very picky on looks, but I am on personality/interest. I've only had strong enough feelings for a girl once to ask her out and it was a girl I had been friends with on and off from elementary school to now first year of college. I started liking her romantically junior year some time but I didn't let on or ask her to prom because I'm a dumb. I finally asked her out to lunch recently and although it was kinda akward I thought it went well. I asked her on a second date and she said she'll text me when she's in town again. Then like a week later I check facebook out of bordum and she had just put up that she's in a relationship with another guy. I haven't said anything to her since then and neither has she. I kinda prepared myself for something like that to happen but it still bothers me more than I would like. I guess it would since it's the first time I tried dating someone and it ended badly after seeming like it would lead somewhere. I tried stuff like Okcupid, but most everyone on there is weird or something, exspecially since I'm from Georgia. | First time I ask someone on a date at age 19 and it goes from promising to failure. Shit sucks, brah. |
t3_1ew89d | relationships | My father [50m] is ditching me [18f] for his new girlfriend. | My parents divorced last year, due to him cheating online. My dad then became very needy of talking to me and would ring me multiple times a day, show up unannounced almost every day, and want to do things multiple times a week. It got to the point where i couldn't take most of his calls as being a young mother, most of the time was spent caring for my daughter and i wasn't able to come to the phone at all hours of the day.
He then met someone, waited a long time to tell me he had met her, i had already known however due to facebook.
The phone calls have stopped, unannounced visits have stopped, and so has wanting to do things.
The thing i'm more annoyed about though is that my 18th birthday was in april, i saw him for his birthday around a week or two before my birthday and he had promised to take my boyfriend and i out for dinner for my birthday.
Nothing since then, he's told me he's going to take us out week after week, i hear nothing and have to ask him over facebook and i get told it's cancelled and we'll do something next week because he has "bills" or something. Then i see photos of him and his girlfriend at a concert on facebook. Or he's forgotten about our plans and just made plans over them, such as this week, i asked him if we still had plans to go to dinner, and i get "Oh no sorry, we have dinner plans with other people."
My question here is, is this relationship really worth continuing? He's always put himself first in our relationship, i thought he had changed, but i guess he hasn't.
What should i do? | Father keeps cancelling birthday plans on me in favor of his girlfriend and friends. What should i do? |
t3_2ljco8 | relationships | Me [17F] confused about my feelings for my Boyfriend[17 M] and relationship of 2.5 years | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years, He has been my first everything and he is very dear to my heart. I truly do love him.
We're both in our last year of high school and I have been feeling very sad/ confused/ fed up. I have been feeling very confused about whats going to happen to us. I haven`t been 100% happy with our relationship for a couple of months but I do still love him. I feel like the relationship is starting to feel like an old married couple. I do kinda wonder what it would be like to be single, but my heart hurts when I think about losing him in my life or potentially seeing him with another girl.
I started to get angry with him over little things that I would have not gotten angry about before. Things like not texting me "good morning" every morning, or when he falls asleep when we cuddle etc. I do feel quite bad when I do get angry at him for little things like that, but I have no clue where this anger is coming from and it feels so real.
I do tend to have some pessimistic/ depressive thoughts and I do suffer with anxiety. And losing my boyfriend tends to flair up my anxiety quite a bit.
Thanks for the help! | Girl confused about whether to stay in relationship with boyfriend when she still loves him to death, but is really bored with it. |
t3_1jco5q | dating_advice | confessing to the girl I like | I[27m] wants to tell [23f] that I like her. Problem is confidence I suppose. I would like to hear a woman's perspective on the situation. Her (lets call her Y for simplicity) and I have known each other for about six or seven months, meet at work.
One night, our peers decided to go to a bar for a few drinks(5-6 hard liquor), Y and I, somewhat hit it off, clearly lots of physical attraction, all our coworkers know about it. Though she is the one who initiated it, which caught me off guard, she is the shy-bookish type.
That was about two months ago, we've been seeing each other about once a week since, but the problem is, its usually with co-workers as well. Only recently three weeks ago, I manage to get Y to spend time with me alone. It goes well, but if feels like, we're just hanging out and catching up (whole lot less touching).
*there's more to the story, will post more when I'm at lunch | I like someone, should I confess? also she is moving across the nation by the end of August. |
t3_439zl1 | relationships | My (26F) Maid of Honor (26F) has hurt my feelings repeatedly and I'm not sure how to ask her to step down. | So, my best friend and I are both engaged. I've been dating my fiancé for three+ years and have known him my whole life; she has known her fiancé for about 7mths. This is mildly important later on.
Her and I have had some problems, basically her putting guys ahead of me (cancelling plans, never responds, not setting boundaries, letting her guys talk to me negatively, etc). Since we both got engaged, I honestly didn't know if I wanted her as my MoH because we seem to be growing apart and her fiancé has been so negative towards me and my fiancé. But she has been my best friend for 10 years and I consider her and her family MY family. I wouldn't know who else could fill her role.
I view her fiancé as very controlling, which is a completely different topic- but as a result I hardly talk to her/see her. Since they began dating I've only seen her once alone, and she was on her phone with him nearly the whole time.
She hasn't been involved in my wedding planning at all, nor has asked about it. Her wedding isn't going to be for another year and a half- so she doesn't want to start planning yet even though I make sure to ask if she needs anything (she also asked me to be her MOH).
I bought my dress yesterday and sent her a picture. I was very self conscious about the fit in the tummy- but my aunt and mom assured me that it only looked that way because of it being cinched to stay up. And I plan on losing some weight and wearing spanx. Instead of telling me I looked nice, or anything positive- she basically mirrored all my self criticisms and added "I hope your ordered a bigger size". Then the conversation moved to her wedding and her life again. All of the joy I felt about finding my dress was squished by her negative comment.
A lot of other stuff has happened to make me reconsider her place in this wedding, but this is already stupid long. Has anyone else had this issue, and how did you handle it tactfully? | Best friend and Maid of Honor hasn't been a good friend. I'm considering asking her to step down, and possibly cutting her out of my life. |
t3_539c22 | relationship_advice | [18/m] I need advice with my crush [18/f] dating someone else | I've been texting with this girl, lets call her Naomi, and recently they've been getting progressively more sexual. It started with her saying she wants so smoke (weed) with me, but she used to smoke with her boyfriend and they would always have sex after. Then a day later or so she makes innuendos and plays it off as 'oops i sound crass, haha.' It goes one step further and in the middle of me being in a workout she sends a picture of herself in a bra. I was about to ask her out, but then yesterday (about 3 days after the bra image) she tells me she's going out with a girl. Now, Naomi did tell me she was bisexual, but didn't know what to take of it. I don't know what to do in this situation, should I try to progressive the texts and start sexting, or should I wait until she no longer dates this girl, or should I do something else, i'm not sure. Please help | Crush has been getting progressively sexual and was about to ask her out, then she goes on a date with a girl (she noted early in getting to know her that she's bisexual) I don't know what to do, please help :( |
t3_pec4f | relationships | Should I break up with her to avoid possibly hurting her? | So I've been with my girlfriend for over three months now, but we've been liking each other since around July. I'm a senior in high school, and she's a junior. I'm planning on moving away to San Fransisco for college after summer. (I live close to L.A., it's about 5 hrs away) she's a really sweet, innocent girl, my closest friend, best girlfriend I've ever had, and I'm her second boyfriend, ever. I really like her,(not too sure if I love her, I've wanted to say it a couple times but try to avoid it) but I'm not sure if we can make it through a long distance relationship. How I see it, there's two options: stay together and try against the odds, or break up with her to avoid any stronger hurt feelings. What do you think? | I'm moving far away in a couple months, should I try a long distance relationship, or break it off before it gets too strong? |
t3_1dbejn | relationship_advice | Following breakup, I (M/20) have some unsettling feelings. | So, I'll try and make it brief. After a year and a half of tumultuous (but at times really wonderful) dating, my girlfriend and I broke up. This is a lot less about the intricacies of the relationship and more about a startling discovery I've made of myself. For years, I was petrified of women cheating on me. I had no history of it, but I always made a huge fuss about it, and was prone to worrying and making relationships too serious and dragging them down with these worries. During this last relationship, I cheated on her. I was caught, and we broke up. This was last fall, and I vowed I would never allow myself to do this again, as it was beneath me, etc. I begged for forgiveness and was after some time apart, was taken back. But after a little while, I started texting girls who I used to see. I don't know why. My girlfriend found some texts, and we broke up for good. She deserves better than this piece of shit.
I understand that cheating and shit like this is immature and really despicable. I really hate myself for all of this, and I've vowed once again never to do this. But as a reader of this sub, I'm all-too familiar with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mantra. I worry that I won't be able to change. There's clearly something wrong with me and I don't know how to change. I feel like I have no self-control.
Really looking for any advice on how to control myself in the future. It really should be simple just not to be a huge douchebag, but apparently I struggle. Will this go away if I find someone I truly love and am open and honest with? Was it situational or dispositional? | I cheated on my girlfriend and have poor self-control, how do I learn to not be an incredible asshole? |
t3_44xgjg | running | half-marathon | hello /running/
i've been running for around two months time now, a couple of days a week (2-4 times). the last two weeks i've run 4-5 km each run. this has been done purely as a hobby (plus it's supposedly good you), and i've done no reading/researching until a couple of days ago. now i've given myself the idea, that i want to complete a half-marathon. i'm going traveling start-july, so i have about 5 months; is training for a half-marathon doable (and adviseable) in this amount of time? i have looked at a couple of training schedules online, but i'm confused as to whether they assume i've completed previous schedules (e.g. 5k, 10k training schedules) (which i haven't), or if there are ones that start at my current level of fitness/running capeabilities. if so, what training programs would /running/ recommend? i wouldn't want to injure myself by progressing too quickly. | is (semi)couch to half marathon in 5 months do- and adviseable, with no previous races run? |
t3_1yafva | relationships | Asked me out even thought she rejected my promposal? | Similar thread from before, I like this co worker. We both go to the same school, (I'm grade 12, she's grade 11) and she got really emotional. Her face went all red and was in near tears. She said some guy had asked her in school that very day. (explains why she had a rose on her that day at school which she had said a friend had given to her.)
She hugged me continuously throughout our shift that day and at the end of that shift while we were in the storage room she asked "You want to do something for valentines?" I hesitated but declined, saying "it was too forced." now at the time, I thought she was doing it because she felt bad for me. Then 90% of my friends have called me an absolute retard and have suggested I kill myself for not saying yes!!!!!!!!
She knows I like her, previously, I had told her I wasn't going to spend money on girls I don't like (yet I promposed with half a dozen roses and a rice krispise that she likes.)
What's even more depressing is that I asked another girl today to prom and she ended up taking 40 mins of my fucking time and couldn't make up a decision.
BOttom line: Should I ask this co-worker out over march break or has the opportunity came and went? | I asked a co worker to prom att he beginning of our shift, she said no but she asked me out at the end of our shift. I declined as I thought she was saying it to make me feel better for rejecting me but most of my friends have said she meant it seriously. Was wondering if I should take a go and asking her out again (if that one counted) for march break????? |
t3_ilw1j | AskReddit | Would you rather be a farmer or a programmer? | True story. I'm a young (18 years old) person facing this almost laughable decision.
I'm a student with definitely above average marks who's going to go study mathematics at university. I also love programming and have been learning programming by myself since I was 13 or so. My objective would be to either do research, or do some interesting and well-paid job at a IT/software company.
Now, on the other side. My father is a farmer and he would like to see me continue its job. He already owns everything I would need: The fields, the machinery, some forests...
I live in Spain, which hasn't any big IT/software/research companies. I've been thinking about potentially emigrating but that's a whole different matter. I don't even know if I'm as valuable as I believe...
On the farmer side, I'm worried about the energy crisis... I've potentially got 60 years more to live and lots of things can happen to me and my loved ones. Peak oil, global warming, population growth, population ageing... all of those things are happening and I fear the possibility of a huge crash. What's obvious is that things must change. What's debatable is by how much.
I think I can do both while I'm at university. But after I finish I don't think they may be compatible. Perhaps I'll have a clearer idea by then...
There's so much uncertainty and so many possible regrets. So reddit, did someone have a similar experience? Am I missing anything here? | Young student faced with deciding whatever he should be a farmer or a programmer/mathematician. Fears crap job and energy/population crisis. Needs help deciding. |
t3_23sjf6 | weddingplanning | Wedding Insurance | Our venue is very specific in what they want for our wedding insurance. Our venue is requesting we get the lowest possible deductible, a policy in the amount of $1,000,000 for property damage, liability, and wedding host liquor liability. They are also asking that we have additional insured named to the policy. We tried going through our renters insurance but they could not add on the things our wedding venue wants. I have done a Google search for wedding insurance but I am not sure if any of these online sites are reliable. Have any of you guys used an online wedding insurer that was good, relatively cheap, and could meet all of our venues specifics? Any help would be much appreciated! | Got any good wedding insurance places? |
t3_4zzomu | relationships | Me [20 M] with my Girlfriend [20 F] of 2 years, is this relationship toxic? | I feel like this post is going to become a random strung out stream of consciousness rant because I'm very distraught right now but I'll try my best. Please bear with me.
The relationship was great for the first year and both of us were happy. We had some fights but nothing too major. Slowly as it progressed the fights kept recurring and slowly got worse and worse.
My SO has an issue with most of the people I talk to. I've tried my best to modify what she had a problem with but the fights kept recurring. She kept holding it against me and made me feel as if I was a womaniser of some sort when in fact I'm quite the opposite. Sometimes I'd think about our relationship and feel like I've done something wrong to her or cheated on her because of how often this allegation was brought up. (Casually and seriously, she'd often say things like "haha don't get too drunk tonight and have sex with another girl" repeatedly.)
Another related thing she'd do is always make me feel like I'm at fault. I feel like we've never had a fight because of anything she's done. I only started fights maybe once or twice in the 2 years and she has started them frequently. This has led to me feeling as if I owe her for being with me even though I'm "faulty".
I haven't been happy for a few months and hit rock bottom recently. Not sure how to go about this, I still have feelings for her but I don't have the energy to keep fighting. Please advise and don't be too harsh if I've said something wrong, I'm not in a good frame of mind.
cheers | Unhappy, unsure. |
t3_3wg2r6 | relationships | [Dating] How do I [27M] politely tell her [23F] that she should change/improve her kissing technique? | Like the title states, I'm just not sure how to bring up the subject without seeming rude or making her feel super self conscious. We've been pretty casual for a few weeks now, and I really dig her personality. She's gorgeous and has a great sense of humor, but the poor girl is bad at kissing. She does this whole "let me keep my lips closed" the whole time.
She's mentioned to me that she really hasn't had a long term relationship before, and I think that this might be a contributing factor? On the other hand I've had a couple long terms and dated quite a few. Ignoring the kissing part, she's a catch, so I'd love to make this work. Any ideas reddit? | Dating new girl, she's bad at kissing, how do I bring it up politely? |
t3_42eifs | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [25 M], together 3 years, is upset that I won't post a kissing picture of us on Instagram? | My boyfriend is upset that I won't post a kissing picture of us on Instagram.
At first, he simply kept asking me to post a picture of us together as he thinks me not having a picture of us implies that I am single or don't really love him or am not committed, or in his words "embarrassed" of him.
The only reason I didn't is because a lot of people follow me, and a lot of people I don't really know, and I, personally, don't feel comfortable sharing my private life with others. Also, I think it's kind of childish.
But, I wanted to make him happy, so I kept sending him some nice pictures of us together as options to post, just sitting or something. He kept saying he looks ugly in all of them, so I kept sending more, and he still didn't like any of them.
Then, he sent me his 5 picks. I didn't like the way I looked in any of them, except in one where we were kissing, but to me, that's REALLY too much to share. I have professional contacts on Instagram too, and I don't really want them seeing my boyfriend's tongue down my throat.
I told him I liked the kissing pic. He started insisting I post that one. I said I'd find another one, but he kept insisting to post the kissing one.
I didn't want to, and posted another one of us finally. An older one, when we first started dating 3 years ago--just sitting together side by side and smiling. He says he is happy now, but I can tell he is still dissatisfied.
What do you think? Should I appease him and post the kissing picture too? Am I overthinking it? Or is his demand silly? | boyfriend upset that I won't post a kissing picture of us on Instagram |
t3_35ozuw | tifu | TIFU by being too perfect | Apologies if my formatting or grammar is incorrect I'm on the phone, It's 3am and I'm still a bit tipsy.
Writing this cause I just need it off my chest
Happened today so I guess brownie points. So let's start with this girl I met in my last year at college. She approached me (I ain't the most confident guy) and we hit off pretty well. Before I know she got up close and we were dating.
Everything fit perfectly, I did everything I could to keep her happy.
You know the take her out on dates, lunch, chocolates, flowers everything.
Damn i even quit on my job cause I didn't get to meet her after hours.
She calls me her Knight in a shining armour.
There were issues with me being insecure, particularly in the start but eventually because male best friend who openly denies he likes her but I got used to it.
And oh she stayed quite a distance away so the only time we got was at college and after college was done I used to take time out fr work and studies to see her at least once a week.
In all we had a very stableish relationship.
Never once had a fight that wasn't defused. Cause we spoke out our differences.
Yesterday she called me at 1am.
And said the words.
I asked her for the reason, all she said was I'm too perfect for her. I deserve better. And that she's not afraid to let me go cause she knows I'm always gonna hang around for her.
She also said she doesn't wanna see me or meet me anymore. And she doesn't feel the same way about me.
I guess perfection fucked me over. | knight in shining armour gets kicked in the balls. |
t3_1k5j9c | relationships | I think I have separation anxiety? M&F 19-20 together for 2 years. | I [19F] think I have separation issues.
Whenever my bf [M20] leaves for work or to go back home I start to feel very sad. I get tired, depressed, and I just kinda loose interest in everything.
It starts to happen about a hour before I know he is leaving. I wasn't always like this though. We have been together for 2 years, and I've only started this the last year.
The only medication of any kind I'm on is birth control. I do have stress issues, I have a bit of a tragic background. He came into my life at a shakey time and made things better for me.
Does this sound familiar? I don't think I should be that sad. He knows I get sad too, and I feel bad. I know its okay to miss him, but once he is gone for maybe 1 week & 1/2 I tend to just stay in my room and sleep.
Any ideas what is up with this? | I think I have separation issues with my boyfriend. When he leaves I get sad, the longer he is gone the deeper I slip into depression. What is this? |
t3_48vz99 | relationships | I [25 M] made my GF [25 F] of 9 months feel like I think she's an idiot. How can I avoid doing it again? | For her studies, my GF is doing a project in which a lot of the work is in my area of expertise. As you might expect, she's been asking me for help a lot, and I've been trying to help as much as I can.
Unfortunately a lot of the time I don't really enjoy helping her all that much. I sometimes feel like she doesn't really understand what she's doing, and is just putting things together in a way that works without understanding why it works. I'll readily admit that I have some (unwanted) elitist attitudes when it comes to my field. I wish I didn't but I do, and they make it harder for me to help her.
In any case, today she was telling me how it wasn't possible for her to do something, and without really thinking I replied something along the lines of "of course you can do that, all you have to do is this other thing". Usually you would be able to do the thing she wanted to do, but in her particular case, she was correct that you can't do it.
She later told me that the way I responded really made her sad, that it made her feel like I thought she was an idiot. Of course I didn't want to make her feel that way, but I guess my response really projected that attitude. Instead of assuming that she had done her research, and thinking for 2 seconds about what she was telling me, I assumed that she was missing something really basic and was just wrong.
How can I change my own thinking to be less judgmental and more supportive of my SO? | GF is asking for help in a project in my field a lot, and I feel like she doesn't understand what she's doing. How can I be less judgmental and more supportive? |
t3_eb5v1 | needadvice | Following my passion: working with the forefather of a field (x-post from AskReddit) | Alright Redditors, I need your help.
After spending the majority of my life interested in applying principles from my various studies to human interactions, I discovered a field that directly studies that interest. Basically, I found my passion on a chance video from ted.com (yay for the interweb).
First, I caught hold of a phrase in a video about advertising - Behavioral Economics. Then I researched it, read everything I could about it, contacted professors at local colleges, and even spoke to the forefather of it himself - Dan Ariely:
It's been a few months since we spoke, but I want to pursue a Ph D. in Behavioral Economics. I also want to continue my career. So, my questions/comments:
1) I believe that creativity and effort most often allow individuals to side step standard 'sacrifices' for what they want. You're welcome to say that it cannot be done or that I clearly don't want it enough if I won't give up my career, but realize that I'm only interested in solutions, not road blocks. I will read your comments but I won't bother arguing and it's unlikely to change my mind.
2) I want to perform a study of Behavioral Economics as it applies to my field, process automation. I have a pretty clear picture of the studies I would like to pursue, what I am seeking is advice on how best to present them to Dan to sell him and/or other behavioral economics professors into agreeing to allow me to pursue and publish remotely and/or as a part of my greater job function.
3) How to actually knock out prerequisites, work remotely from the institutions I want to be associated with (Dan is at Duke, I live in Houston and my research would be best carried out here)? have any of you heard of Ph. D's being granted to people doing research in industry? I've researched it and found examples, but I have no clear indicators whether it's feasible and/or common in Economics.
I'll be around until about noon CST if anyone has more detailed questions, I know I left a hell of a lot of detail out.
Thanks!
CD | I have a chance to work with some of the smartest people in the world, help me close the deal, plan successfully, and execute on it. I promise I'll share the research with Reddit if I succeed at funding it. |
t3_2rag43 | tifu | TIFU by underestimating how sensitive my balls are | So I have had eczema all my life and recently it has starting spreading towards the area which only the side of my right hand has touched. Anyways after scratching it raw I decided it would be a great idea to relieve the itching by by numbing the feeling with cold water. So off to the shower and I discovered how crazy shrinkage can be though it did the job. So after ten minutes of relief a tingling sensation came over the area and I had the worst pins and needles anyone could possibly suffer. Then I had the brilliant idea that vicks vaporub could stop the pins and needles and maybe the itching. The good news was that it stopped the pins and needles, but the bad news was that it replaced it with a burning that hell's fires would be jealous of. So for the last hour I have been lying down in the shower in agony trying to scrub every bit of the vaporub out. | Got pins and needles on my balls and put vicks vaporub on them |
t3_369xf1 | relationships | I like very dangerous girls. This has been slowly escalating and I really don't know what to do about it. | Throwaway. I am 20-something in uni right now for context.
I like dangerous girls. Girls who are 'normal' and nice until you upset them. At which point they will take a weapon and really hurt you with it. They can't be afraid of serious injury, even death. I know, a lot to take in at once. I don't actually want to die or face serious harm, but the feeling that they *would* do that to me excites me.
I've had 3 gfs in my life so far. I'm at a top school, so I don't get with dumb girls. I don't have a lighter way of putting that. They were all very attractive. But shortly after I told them what i liked, they bailed. I've tossed out my morals one by one in search of females who can meet my desires (which is really just me keeping them happy, less I face bad stuff). I am *not* into any weird sexual stuff. I do not support where people lavish girls with expensive stuff either. I just want to keep them happy, and if they get peeved, give them the opportunity to do what they want (violently) till they are happy.
I know this isn't healthy. I wish I could say it stopped there. Referring back to how I would go far for these types of females: I've sought out bad people to get close to girls like this. My family has CEO friends. I've reached out to them. I know some of them have weird kinks. I've contacted 'bad' people too. In areas around NY. If you don't know who I'm referring to, please don't ask.
I don't know what the hell to do. I want this type of female, but they don't seem to exist. Call me psychotic, whatever you want. But is there a sub for people like this?
If anything I would liken it to Autassassinophilia. Except I wouldn't want to die. Just to come within an inch from it. And weapons, injuries....those are nice, too. | I would like to be with a girl who would choose to seriously harm/kill me at the drop of a dime. I've gone through MANY hurdles to find someone like this to no avail. Is there a place for people with fetishes like this (if you could call it that), or should I see a head doctor? |
t3_345jy4 | relationships | Me [21M] with my gf [20F]: Going on summer break. | So I've been seeing this girl for about a month in college now. I know it's still early but we've been pretty close over this time. Anyway, our summer plans do not take us anywhere close to each other so we're deciding not to "date," saying how we'll see each other in 4 months when school starts back up. We still said we want to keep in touch as well.
My question is, how should my mentality be for this. I really like this girl. We've both kind of said we'd basically wait and pick back up where we left off when school starts, but a lot can happen in 4 months. Just any advice really is appreciated. | Infatuated with girl I've been seeing for a month, won't see her for 4. How should my mentality be for this. |
t3_1gldyh | relationships | Can't tell if [m32] likes me [f22] | I've been seeing N for about 2.5 months. We only see each other every two weeks or so because our schedules are so busy. (He is really social and likes to go out a lot.)
He's been super sweet.. taking me out to nice dinners, drinks and paying for everything. He even donated $100 to my kickstarter. He's invited me to get together's with his friends and I've even met his ex gf who he's really, really close with.
However.. I can't tell if he is playing it cool or is plain not that interested. He often goes away for weekends and usually we have 3-5 days that we don't talk. He's not much of a texter, and unless we are making plans he doesn't really respond to my messages. We slept together only once (at my insistence) because I'm leaving to go away for the summer.
He tells me that "wow.. you're super hot" and "super fun," but that's pretty much it. He always says "we should get together soon!" but I notice that he goes out to bars 3-5 times a week and also posts to other girls encouraging them to get a drink together.
He's not really that interested, is he?
I should also add I met him through two friends who now absolutely hate the fact that I'm seeing him and I don't understand why. | I've been seeing a sweet guy casually for almost 3 months but I can't tell if he's into me. |
t3_g5yrv | relationship_advice | How does a couple successfully arrange their finances when they are in completely different economic/social classes? | I would really appreciate some good, creative solutions.
My boyfriend (29) and I (23) are moving in together in two months. I come from a lower class family and I don't have much to offer except an awesome ability to get stuff done. He comes from a well-off family and has a history of being financially taken advantage of by previous SOs. I have worked my way through college (graduating in May) and I have no clue what my economic situation will be like. He has many degrees and is a successful engineer.
I absolutely agree to signing a prenuptial agreement if/when we get married and we have been considering a pre-move-in agreement, as well. I want to help pay bills and I will be taking total responsibly of my college debt. He is really sweet and says he wants to support me however, there definitely seems to be an unequal division of power when making this legal agreement. How do I avoid feeling the obligation of agreeing to "his way" because I don't have assets or a career?
I understand that most pre-nups say that what is his/hers prior to marriage remains but after it is 50-50. But I'm curious about how others have dealt with situations similar to this. Not just pertaining to pre-nups but also splitting expenses and so forth.
How can we go about discussing this difficult topic without creating resentment? This relationship has great potential. We are strong believers in discussing these "what ifs" and debating honestly about these dreaded relationship issues but, Reddit, it seems that he and I might be too stubborn to debate about this one alone. Please let me know what has worked for you. | He is well-off, I am not. How can we go about discussing this difficult topic without creating resentment? How do I avoid feeling the obligation of agreeing to "his way" because I don't have much to offer financially? How does he avoid the uncomfortable feeling of obligation to be generous to his potential wife? What has financially worked or not worked for you and your significant other? |
t3_lyebw | AskReddit | After reading up on the Judge William Adams' abuse story and watching the youtube video I was flooded with memories from my childhood of abuse. Fellow redditors who have experienced this, how has it affected your life? How have you learned to cope? TL;DR included. | Quick thing I need to say up front,
**I am not the most grammatically correct person but I do what I can, I Am Sorry.**
The title to this post pretty much says it all. I saw the link on reddit, read up the articles up and down, and checked out the video on youtube. After watching the video I closed my lap top, buried my face in my hands and wept. I repressed these feelings for the longest time
I am a 21 year old male. While growing up my parents divorced and my mother remarried. I haven't seen my father since I was 2. I remember now all the years I was beaten violently: with belts ( belt buckles included ), wire hangers, water hoses. I remember being slung around as a child and hitting the walls, the counters. My mother watched as this happen and readily encouraged it. She is manic and bipolar. The verbal abuse still rings in my ears, all of it. From when I was a child to even today she still is verbally abusive and she knows it. I remember being sexually assaulted when I was young and telling my parents repeatedly. I remember the last time I cried and told them, right before they beat me for "lying" to them and about this person. I remember the look on their faces when they told me this.
After loosing my job and my vehicle breaking down I was forced to move back in with them in order to still remain in college. I put on a smile when I see them to hide the palpable hate I have for both of them. The same smile I wore to school, the same smile I wore when people asked me if I was okay. My parents, they know what they did. They know I wont forget. I honestly would rather have stayed in prison this whole time than to end up where I live now. I have no other options. ( By the way, I got locked up for possession of marijuana.) | I don't want sympathy but I appreciate kindness. I want to know, fellow redditors, how do you cope with abuse? Have you noticed it's affect on your life? How can you get rid of hate, when all you know is hatred? |
t3_3r2o5g | relationships | My (20, M) girlfriend (20, M) gave some guy her number in a club | Hello reddit,
So yesterday I went so a club with a couple of friends and my girlfriend.
Everything went great but then she talked to some guy and she gave him her number.
When I confronted her she said that I could not forbid her anything and that she is just going to exchange text messages with him and will not meet him.
I am wondering now why the hell she gave him her number if they will not meet.
What will she talk about?!
So I told her that I think we should talk about boundaries when we both are sober.
What do you think?
Thanks and have a nice day! | gf gave some guy her number and claims she is only going to talk to him via text |
t3_3e9wl8 | relationships | Me [21 M] just broke up with my GF [19 F] of close to three years, thought I knew why but now I feel unsure | A few months ago I began feeling doubts our relationship. I was getting interested in dating other people and the thought of being with some us felt appealing. I felt bad staying in a relationship I wasn't fully committed to so I explained it to her and we broke up.
We decided to take a break from each other, no talking or being with each other for a few weeks but we thought eventually we might try to become friends again.
A few weeks after the initial break up we remember we had pretty nice concert tickets we had bought a few months prior to all this happening, we didn't want them to go to waste so we decided to go as friends.
We ended up hooking up the night of the concert and we decided we were going to try to work on the relationship and entered this gray area of kind of together. We hung out and talked and had sex but it still felt slightly different. About two weeks ago I started feeling like it wasn't going to work out. For the last week we barely talked or hung out. Then we sat down and talked it out and I ended it completely.
That was a week ago and ever since I've felt hollow and numb and depressed about the situation. Before when we broke up I think the idea of us possibly getting back together floated around my head but this seems so much more concrete and it feels weird knowing we might not ever be together again.
I just don't know if I selfishly made a terrible decision or what and didn't really have anyone else to talk to about it. | Thought I wanted to break up with my GF. Did break up and now I feel miserable, don't know if I made the right choice. |
t3_uum12 | BreakUps | Ended a long term long distance and just need someone to say it's okay. | [x-post from r/relationships] (RANT) My boyfriend of 3+ years and I just broke it off...and I have no right to complain because I'm the one that ended it. But it's not like our relationship was bad...in fact it was wonderful, perfect, and everything I had ever wanted but we'd been long distance and I felt like I needed a change and all at once I just opened my mouth and told him I wasn't coming home that I wanted to stay and teach and travel and when he offered to come with me I just couldn't say yes I just couldn't because I've never been out on my own or just done something for myself and I ended it.
And now I just sit and think all the time about how I feel like I've made a huge mistake and I get so upset because I'm just alone. I'm not made to be alone. I'm a girlfriend it's who I am and now I'm without my other half and it's all so confusing because on the one hand I love him and I miss him and I just want to go home and say I'm sorry and go back to reality but on the other hand, I've got a chance to go out into the world and live the kind of life that other people look at and say 'wow I wish I was her' and I want that, I do, I want it badly.
I know this was just a ramble but basically what I'm asking for is for anyone else out there whose ever had a breakup from circumstance and not because a lack of love to tell me it'll be alright. | I broke up with my long term long distance boyfriend that I still love to go find myself; feeling remorseful and looking for others with a similar story who got through it. |
t3_4cr6np | relationships | Me [24F] concerned about my sister's [21F] boyfriend(?) [32M] and his fiancee/her girlfriend(?) [26F?] | My sister 21/f has lived for about two years with an engaged couple who I think are 32/m and 26/f from my snooping on Facebook and asking around. They've been engaged since this past fall and seem to be getting married in about a year from now. I'm concerned for her because she kind of acts like he's her boyfriend and his fiancee is her girlfriend or something?
They've been seen in public being really close to each other in every combination you can think of with him/his fiancee, him/my sister, my sister/his fiancee, and I actually saw her kiss his fiancee on the lips when the three of them were getting in their car leaving a restaurant in town around Easter, which is what made me finally decide to post this.
He's way too old for her, and her living with a couple like this is just super weird. Everyone in our family talks about her and how they think he's going to kick her out or something once he gets married. Also, she works basically part time at a retail store and he works doing something at home (she won't tell me anything other than "he works on the computer"), but apparently he's got the money to fix her car when it messes up and pay all of their bills, and that just seems like something he could hold over her head.
I don't really know what to do here because she won't listen to anybody, and I am very concerned for her. | My sister 21/f moved in with 32/m and his fiancee 26/f, and they seem to have some kind of weird three-way relationship, but I'm afraid for her. |
t3_133lt4 | offmychest | Why can't I feel anything? | Most people look at me and think I have a good life. Maybe I do. I live in a nice house with two loving parents who I usually get along with. I have a nice phone, an xbox, my dad plans to give me his car in a year when I'm old enough to drive. I get decent grades, I have a lot of good friends.
But despite all this, I'm missing something. Sometimes I feel like I'm the antagonist billionaire in a movie who cares about nothing but profits. I just can't feel anything. Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes I'm happy, when I'm talking to friends, or having fun at a party, but it's just a blur. Day after day of success has made me numb to a feeling of joy. It only returns a few times each day. I don't usually feel sad, but it's the second of three emotions I can feel. I get choked up, my eyes get heavy, and I get a feeling in my stomach. Other than that I feel fear. Fear of death, or failing my final exam. I don't love anyone. I don't know that I ever will. I can't feel.
That's it. That's fucking it. I've only told a few friends about it and they aren't like me. They feel things. They experience anxiety and love and anticipation.
Why can't I? Why can I only feel the most bland of feelings?
Reddit, What is fucking wrong with me? | I have everything most people want, but the only thing I want is something I'll never have, |
t3_41w7sb | relationships | Me [28 M] with my partner [26 F] 5 years, I work on computer in day to make a living from home, she thinks its ok for her to sit on Facebook during this time. | I work from home. 9am - 6pm. During this time I treat it like a job away from home. I'm a software engineer. So I ask her not to bug me to do housework, and as she doesn't work at the moment during the day time she could get some things done around the house.
Only fair right? I make our income, and whilst she's at home we agreed she would do most of the housework. Although I do help out.
Except she doesn't. During the time I'm working she will sit on Facebook on her phone. She may do a tiny bit of housework, but most remains undone.
Feel like walking out as I feel used. I don't find it fair that I bust my balls to get the things we need and she just scrolls through Facebook.
Am I right to be annoyed? | I work 9 hours a day from home. My partner doesn't work, yet sits on her phone all day on Facebook. Do I have a right to be annoyed? |
t3_2l6u4q | relationships | Me [M25] wanting to move on after losing virginity to her. [F24] | Hello!
So I've been in a relationship for three years and she is the first person for me to ever have sex with. It was alright, at best.
But here is my problem: I love her dearly but now that I have broken down this barrier, gained way more confidence, and am getting complimented on my looks way more often from random people. I want to try different sexual partners. I keep having urges to explore whats out there and I cannot get it off my mind. No matter how much I say I love my current SO, it is ALWAYS there. The urge to explore more is REALLY strong.
What do I do?
(I've talked to her about an open relationship but this is out of the question.) | Broke my virginity and now want to have sex with different people, but still love current SO. |
t3_2e8ae1 | relationships | Me [22 M] and my ex [20 F] are dating again, but have some resentment issues | So this girl and I dated for a little over a month and it was GREAT, we had a lot of chemistry, in bed and otherwise. And honestly I had never felt so connected to a previous gf right off the bat.
Issues surfaced because I decided to visit one of my best (female) friends in another city for valentines day. Keep in mind I bought the tickets before meeting the ex. I had let her know from the beginning and repeatedly asked her if she wanted me not to go (she said I should go). I also made several things to make up for it.
Travel day comes, and she decides to brake it off BC of jealousy issues and BC she is having "family problems". I felt blindsided because I felt I had done everything to avoid this, and felt like she encouraged me to go.
A few months later we start talking again and dating. The topic of the breakup comes up when I tell her I really resent her for what she did, to which she replies that I "screwed us up". Her reasoning being that i should have stayed instead even though I repeatedly told her I was willing to do that if she asked. I am honestly shocked that she could think that, am I truly at fault for not reading her mind? Or was I just really dense in not assuming that was what I should have done?
Now I don't know whether I should still try to work things out with this girl. I still really like her. | Ex and I break up over me visiting a girl even though I offer to stay and she refuses. Few months later we date again and she still resents me because I should have known to stay in the first place. |
t3_uujj8 | relationships | Girlfriend on vacation with her friends. How do I cope with the jealousy? | **So, my girlfriend is on her trip to Alanya now. Surronded by her friends, who love drinking and parties, she is going to spend a week there.**
I feel so shitty. I cry almost constant even if I try to do different things to keep it out of my head. Yesterday I was at the cinema with my friends, only thing spinning in my head was this. I can't focus, can't sleep and I look like shit now. Should it really be this hard?
Please, any tips or something. I have turned to my friends, but they are not to much help.. None of them have really had a relationship at all, they are more like the 'party-elite'..
She has not give me any reason to not trust her, but I just get so worried sick.. I really need help folks.
Useful information: Me 21 years and she is 20. We have been together for 4 months. (Known each other longer tho.) | Girlfriend on vacation and I can't go on without feeling jealous and thinking the worst. |
t3_272z4c | relationships | My (20F) SO (21M) of 4yrs moved 30hrs away without discussing it with me... am I overreacting for being upset? | Okay so my SO and I have been in a relationship for 4yrs, he's great and I love him very much. We have always been able to communicate openly in our relationship, which is why we get along so well.
We both just finished our 3rd year of university. During 3rd year he was looking for a co-op placement for a 16 month term. We had discussed him possibly moving away to another city within our province, which would make it easy for us to drive/bus/train to visit each other frequently. He applied to many positions in our province, however he also applied to some out of province - without telling me.
As it turns out, the first job he gets an offer for is 30hrs away. They gave him around 24hrs to decide whether or not he was going to accept the job. That night we went to his parents house to discuss with them. His father told him he should accept it immediately, while his mother and I suggested he slept on it as he had other job interviews in the upcoming week in our city and other cities within the province. During this conversation, his father repeatedly shuts down any suggestions other than "Accept it!!".
Ultimately, without really sitting down and having a discussion about how this was going to work, he accepted the offer that night and that was that. When we talked about it later, he told me that he assumed that I would just pack up and move there with him - something that we had never discussed. He moved to the other province a month ago and won't be back home until fall of next year.
I understand that 16 months isn't the end of the world and that we are young and we both need to make decisions that will benefit our future and careers, but I can't help but feel upset that he did not include me in this huge decision. There's not much we can do about it now, but this has been really bothering me for the last few months.
Any advice on how to let this go or from anyone in a LDR would be appreciated! | My (20F) SO (21M) of 4yrs moved to another province 30hrs away for a job without discussing it with me. How do I let it go and make our new LDR work. |
t3_27hlyk | loseit | Not so Day 1: Long time lurker, first time poster | Hey /r/loseit,
I wanna let you guys know that I've lurked here for a while and you redditors are an awesome inspiration. I'm a US Army soldier and was struggling with meeting tape an PT last year after a deployment, where i was particularly miserable and suffered some health effects.
Since getting back from that I've worked to where I'm at now, where I weigh the same but I'm cutting the fat. I workout frequently and enjoy running all sorts of obstacles races and plain foot races.
Just last week I noted my XL t-shirts were too baggy and I tried on a L and it was a perfect fit...so that was cool. /r/loseit has been a pretty good source of inspiration/information through all of that.
Looking at another deployment soon, hopefully it doesn't affect me as bad as the first one, but we'll see. I'm continuing to work towards my goals and I'm gonna try to actually post here more after this because of how helpful this sub has been to me recently.
I have a buddy thats in really poor health because of his weight and I want to help him. But he's not interested in seeing a doctor or loosing weight, I'm going to try to displace my want to help him here with folks that are trying and want help... | You guys are awesome, I'm going to try to post here more. |
t3_2f6696 | relationships | I (21F) don't think ill ever trust my boyfriend (20M) of 1.5 years. | My current boyfriend makes me so happy and always makes me laugh and feel loved.
But he had a shady past with girls and he's lied to me a few times just in everyday things but also in things regarding other girls and has tried to hide things. I found things in his phone once and almost left him because of it but I gave a chance (this was after already having a fight a few months prior about him lieing).
Now, I question whether every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie or not and tbh I dont see this getting any better, but I dont want to end it with him. Im not an over protective gf normally but he makes me crazy, I dont trust him with anything or anyone.
The worst part is, he hasn't done anything major lately to spark these thoughts...they just never go away.
What can I do? | boyfriend has lied in the past and I dont think I will EVER be able to trust him. |
t3_1p4wxt | relationships | I (F22) can't stand my sisters (F15) scumbag boyfriend (M17). How do I handle this? | Basically my younger sister has been with her boyfriend for a year and a half. Recently, he cheated on her with another girl from their friend circle. She decided to stay with him (but is no longer friends with the girl).
Normally, I wouldn't judge this. I can understand as well as anyone that sometimes relationships are hugely complicated on the inside, and a bystander wouldn't understand what's really at play. However, I have *never* liked this guy. Normally I'm an excellent judge of character, as I tend to get a pretty good feel for people early on. In fact I've never really been wrong about a first impression. From the first time I met him, he came across as a scumbag. Since then he's proven himself to be deceitful, conceited, manipulative, and not loyal at all. He in no way deserves to be with my younger sister- shes kind, passionate, and faithful.
Hearing that he cheated on her was the last straw for me. I've always been friendly and polite towards him, but now I have no interest in him being anywhere near her. Inevitably I'll be seeing him fairly often- he comes over a lot, and I can't stop her from having him in our house. She of course has forgiven him, and is so infatuated that she won't hear a word against him. It's unlikely that anything I say will help her to see him for what he really is. We live with my father, who she has chosen not to confide in (understandable, they don't have a close relationship and he's rarely around).
How do I handle this? Do I continue to be polite and civil? Do I make it clear that he's unwelcome in our home? I want to tear him to shreds for what he did and make it known that I don't trust him, but I don't want my sister to be further hurt by this situation. Do I just ignore him? | sisters boyfriend is a little shit, how do I handle being around him? |
t3_wl141 | AskReddit | What's the most pathetic thing a customer has said/done to you in order to save money? | I was working at a fast food joint. Typical busy Friday when a group of bros come in. Normally, I wouldn't notice or care, however they were being incredibly obnoxious, rude and condescending to the other patrons. As they stood in line, I heard them loudly whispering about "Flirting with the fatty," as she'll be "grateful for the attention". I looked at them with contempt as they shuffled closer, high fiving one another for ther cunning plan and snickering at how clever they were.
The leader of the bunch came up and ordered, staring deeply into my eyes and telling me how beautiful I was, as his friends looked on laughing their asses off. I smile and enter their order into the system, and rung up their total. He then slyly hands me some paper with a phone number written on it, presumably a fake, and goes. "Can't we work out a little deal? Maybe give us a discount?" He smirked and stood their waiting for me to fall all over myself.
I looked back at him and simply said, "I may be fat but I still have standards." He looked back mortified and grumbled some profanities as he handed me the correct change. | If you're going to try to get a discount, don't be fucking stupid about it |
t3_cb4l1 | AskReddit | So, I've been phished -- now what? | I was recently searching for a job and my aunt decided to "help me out" (by sending me over 9000 links a day to job postings). One of the links she sent me struck me (on first glance) as a local jobs-posting site. The frontpage seemed just to be a registration form. Seconds later (after hitting Submit), I realized that I'd just given a decent amount of my info (name, email, address, password that I use on a few websites, and quite possibly phone number) to...??
I'm still kind of pissed that my aunt would send me a fucking phishing site (and more importantly, that I'd trust, for even a few seconds, a website that she'd sent me). She, predictably, acted completely oblivious when I told her what'd happened.
Anyway: In the past few days, I've been receiving increasingly creepy emails -- someone seems to be signing up for services (all free, thus far) with my email address, and (most recently), they contacted the government of the city in which I used to live (I received an email answering an inquery I'd never made about trash pickup).
What do I do? | Someone has my personal information and they seem to be trying to scrape more and more of it. What can I do about this (if anything)? |
t3_tlsjj | AskReddit | Reddit, I need to know if this is legal? | My landlord came into my apartment to do some work on the plumbing (I live in an apartment in his basement). I am getting ready to move next month so I had a lot of my things out on the counters/tables to get it sorted and packed. My landlord noticed my collection of medieval weaponry, a couple of maces, daggers, a sword, and a small ax.
Well, after noticing this collection of weaponry he became extremely furious and told me to leave. He told me I was no longer allowed to be in his apartment, and that I no longer had until June 1st to leave. He told me I have until tomorrow at noon to be out of the apartment.
Is this legal of him to do? I made copies of the lease agreement and it says nothing against my collection, as long as I did not hang anything on the walls, which I did not. I am not necessarily interested in getting into a legal battle with him or anything, I just want to know if it's legal for him to kick me out over two weeks earlier than my predetermined date. The weapons are legal in my state, I have double checked that as well. | My landlord saw my collection of my, completely legal, medieval weaponry, he kicked me out of my apartment over two weeks sooner than my actual moving date. |
t3_3bcz7r | tifu | TIFU by only wearing boxers | So it's summer now, and with it comes the heat. And so, when I'm at home I usually just wear boxers and an old t-shirt and lounge around on my side on the couch. This is where the fuck up starts. It's 12 something and I just woke up, ate breakfast and began playing Witcher 3. I noticed my brother wasn't home and my parents were at work so I got in a comfortable position with my dong slightly showing on the bottom of my boxers. About an hour later, my brother comes home, with his girlfriend who was wearing a crop top with some short shorts. Being the horny little weirdo I am I can't help but think, "Dang that's nice." It seems that I wasn't the only one who thought that. In mid conversation, my brother and his girlfriend look down at me, in confusion and disgust, then I realize. My boner was lifting up my boxers and giving her a good view of my whole package. She whispered some things to my brother and left. My brother calls me a creep and leaves. Needless to say, I don't think she'll be coming round here anymore | I flashed my brothers girlfriend |
t3_3bapw1 | relationships | Controlling SO (M25) driving me (F22) insane. | I'm at the end of my rope with my boyfriend of 2 years. I feel like he isn't happy unless he's controlling as much of my life as possible. I had reservations even entering our relationship in the first place because my previous long term relationship was with a very aggressive and controlling man. He promised me he would be different.
I am so exhausted from his manipulative ways. Every positive opportunity I am offered turns into an argument with him. Offered an extra shift at work? He gets angry because he's jealous that I get to "go" to special events when he doesn't (I work in events)! Long standing plans to go out with friends? He'll decide to make "surprise" date night plans for us just because he KNOWS I have dedicated that night to spend with friends. When I don't back down from plans with my friends he insists on coming and driving us both, then sulks all night and decides to go home after an hour. He then demands that I leave with him because he "doesn't want to drive alone."
The above is just the tip of the iceberg, it would take me forever to get it all out. I have learnt my lesson from being pushed around in my last relationship, I am NOT letting myself become that person again. There is a difference between loving someone and controlling them. I tell him this every single time this monster side of him rears it's ugly head and then he cries and says he wants to kill himself because what I've said to him hurt his feelings.
Anyone got any hints to quash his manipulative behaviour? I love him but I can't stand being under the thumb anymore. I just want him to show me the same trust and support that I show him. | controlling boyfriend cannot comprehend that he is controlling. Help? |
t3_2tprhf | relationship_advice | Should I [23F] take a job at my boyfriend's [27M] startup? | Context:
We've been going out for just under 6 months, and everything is going really well. I'm concerned that taking a job working directly with him will put a strain on the relationship, but on the other hand this is basically my dream job.
We actually met over a freelance project, and have on-off worked with each other on various small pieces of work. I feel it has the potential to work out, but I'd like to hear what people think. Also, if I do decide to go ahead with it, what are the main issues/concerns/potential pain points I should make sure to clarify before I jump into something like this?
Thanks in advance! | got offer for dream job at boyfriend's startup. Not sure if working together will ruin relationship. |
t3_kzfe0 | AskReddit | What is the best line someone has said to you after a one night stand?(Obvious ill go first message.) | At a bar with friends, my friend invited a girl he was hooking up. The girl he invited brought a friend I thought was very attarctive, and me being shy said nothing to her the entire night. After the bar we headed back to my friends house where I was deeply dissappointed in myself for not attempting to talk to said hot girl. My friend makes one phone call and his girl and her hot friend show up at the house to drive us to said hot girls house. Being very drunk hot girl and I end up in her bed hooking up. I had said a combined three sentences to that girl all night and was very proud by the end of it all. The next morning she said "It was nice to meet you." and we left. I have been seeing this girl ever since. | It was nice to meet you. |
t3_1lsrpd | relationship_advice | [20/f] attractive with bf, wants to know how to make male FRIENDS & avoid getting hit on/awkness. | I have been with my long distance bf for 3 years and I love him and I'm faithful. I hate getting hit on when he's not around(which is most of the time), but I also wish I had more guy FRIENDS. My question is... what if a guy starts talking to me and even though I'm not interested because I'm in a committed relationship, I'm still interested in being friends... how do I let them know that? What is the best way to make it very clear I am committed to my boyfriend but in a friendly way?
I go to a community college and it is not the best environment for making friends... So I was excited when this nice guy started talking to me in class, we had great small talk and at the end of class he asked for my number so that we could compare homework assignments. Right when he asked for my number should I have mentioned I have a bf? I didn't because it was just friendly conversation and I thought if I said it out of no where it would be weird. Even though he was just being friendly I feel like he might be interested in me.... I really want a new guy friend! But I also don't want a guy friend with tension because he's attracted to me. So what is the best way to feel out a guy and see if he genuinely wants to be friends or just wants to get in my pants? | I'm a hot 20 year old in a committed long distance relationship who wants more guy friends! How do I shut guys down who hit on me while still seeing if they would like to be just friends? |
t3_23u00u | relationships | Girlfriend [22F] of 6months has stopped feeling like sex with me [20M]. Is this just the honeymoon phase ending or something different? | It feels like the honeymoon phase is over- we have had a few fights and we both aren't exactly brimming with joy everytime we hang out- to be honest we get a little bit bored and we recently needed a week apart (where she kept messaging saying she missed me).
So she arrived back and I was assuming we'd have steamy 'good to see you again i've missed you sex', but no, she's just not in the mood. It's been a few days and she still doesn't feel like it. She's not distant or unhappy (it seems), she just doesn't want sex.
I'm planning to talk to her if this keeps up for another week, as it feels like our intimacy is dying and slipping away because of this. I'm sure there is a heap of (potentially heartbreaking) reasons she might not want sex, but I wanted to get you guys opinion before I launch into a talk with her. | Girlfriend hasn't felt like sex in a while, is this just the honeymoon phase ending or something more serious? |
t3_33auxf | relationships | I [22F] am becoming bored in my 2 year relationship with my 23M boyfriend. I have to plan out everything we do. How do I suggest ways to fix this? | He's never been the type of person to plan couple activities. His idea of a great evening is ordering take-out and watching tv, which I do enjoy, but that's all he seems to want to do. We never go out, unless one of his out-of-town friends comes up and 12 other people go. I suggest going out, and he'll mutter some agreement, then never mention it again. Literally everything else that we do, I have to plan out. Every vacation, day-trip, even a drive to the next town. He mentioned a vacation trip one time, talked about it for a bit, but then nothing ever came from it. ***HE HAS TALKED ABOUT GOING PUTT-PUTTING FOR OVER A YEAR.***
I hate having to plan everything, but I also hate doing the same thing all the time.
Even when I suggest watching a new movie together, he'll say he doesn't have an interest in that movie, which I get, but I've sat through his crap before. I'm tired of having to do things alone (movies, going for walks, random drives, hikes, swims).
Our relationship is just come home, cuddle, eat, maybe watch a show, watch him play video games, sometimes have sex, sleep.
To give you an idea: even my birthday gift last year was some after-thought gift a week late. He plans nothing. This was after months of talking about "I have to plan your birthday" | I'm becoming bored with doing nothing, his passiveness about activities, and having to plan every little thing. How do I suggest solutions without having to say the dramatic "I'm bored with you."? |
t3_2k80eg | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 7 years, she needs time | So let me start off by saying that I am now in a much better place than when this began about a week ago. I have gotten a lot of solid advice from friends and family.
We, like all couples, have had our issues in the past. It has always been small things however, never anything on the scale of cheating or violating one another's trust. And we have never been afraid to talk things out or tell each other how we feel. And we have always said that if one of us isn't happy, that we would never want to force the other to stay.
That being said, she dropped a bomb on me last week where she needs time and space to think about what she wants. Now, out of the 7 years we have been together, roughly 5 have been long distance. Not across the country long distance, but between 2-4 hours apart. So we typically see one another once to twice a month minimum during the stretches where we are apart - with the occasional exception to this trend due to outside circumstances. And we are currently living about 2 hours apart. We have not lived together either, however the other two years we did live in the same small town.
We have still been talking regularly, however about the little things in life. How our days are going, what's going on with other people in our lives, work, etc. But she does not want to talk about us at the moment. And as I'm sure you can imagine, that is all I want to talk about.
I've tried to stay strong - and so far have done a fairly good job I think (apart from the first day/night where I was not in a good place mentally). I'm trying to let her have her time and space. But every day is an internal struggle with myself. And I know it's beyond my control and the ball is in her court, but this has been one of the longest and most difficult weeks in my life.
I guess I'm just looking for some support. Thanks for reading. | Girlfriend of seven years needs time and space; we're still together; she does not want to talk about us at the moment. |
t3_1km72g | relationships | My[27M] girlfriend[23F]of one year is messy, potential hoarder. What can I do? | I had my own 1br bachelor pad, kept it real nice and tidy and most of all CLEAN. She came over many times and knew I was a neat freak.
I moved in with my girlfriend and her best friend in a house that her parents recently moved out of. It was mostly empty at the time.
I have lived with them for about a year now and knew that these girls were messy but assumed they would clean up from time to time. I was wrong.
Without going into detail, they cover every surface with clothes, mail, unfinished beverages, dishes, makeup, hair products, trash, etc.
They went to a summer camp for about a week not too long ago and I had the entire house made spotless. They ruined it within 2 days.
My girlfriend is the biggest contributor to the mess. I have talked to her about the problem, and also try to help her by catching her leaving stuff around at the exact moment she does it. (I'll tell her to toss the shirt she just removed in the hamper instead of on the floor, for example.)
She does not deny that she is messy, but gets upset with me when I "boss her around" and point out the things she is doing.
We are a great couple, and I want to be in this relationship for the long haul. Once we have our own place the mess won't be as bad but this still needs to be addressed.
To those of you with a messy significant other, what successful methods have you used? | My girlfriend of one year makes a mess of the house, doesn't clean up, what do I do? |
t3_2srio7 | relationships | Me [23F] and [39M] giving me hot and cold signals. I don't know whether I should tell him. | So there's this guy I'm really close to even though I've only known him for a little over a year. I don't know how to romantically approach guys or anything like that. I can always tell when my other friends are crushing / being hit on but I can never do so for myself.
He tends to initiate the daily texts even when he's on holiday or with his friends, cheers me up when I'm feeling down, encourages me to be my best, etc. He buys me a lot of stuff when he sees something that reminds him of me, and I do the same as well.
I am aware that we have a significant age gap and I know I'm far from mature but we're both on similar wavelengths when it comes to our lifestyles, ideals, etc. We hang out together and sometimes with his friends (and members of his family) too. Every time we're together he always makes me laugh and we tease each other a lot. And I realize from time to time that he likes to rest his knee against mine, even though he has a lot of chair space to himself.
He sometimes would tell me about girls who hit on him and he's not interested. He's confided in me about his past relationships and warned me of guys I should watch out for. Occasionally he says that he and his bros should help me find a guy. And our interactions are strange. He'd hug all his friends (girls and guys) and I'd do the same, but we don't do that to each other. It's never been our thing, and we always have an awkward wave at the end of the night. And one day one of his friends said she couldn't see him without me by his side and I freaked.
Because of the hot/cold vibes I can't tell if he likes me or not. And telling him feels like such a risk because I might destroy an amazing friendship. And I've never confessed to a guy before, so I'll probably shit myself doing that and be a blubbering mess :/ I'm not a flirty person, so it'll probably be like dropping a bomb on him too. | I crushed on someone for the first time in my life (on an older person too!) and it sucks because I don't know what to do. Leave it or go for it? |
t3_3yzwqn | Advice | (M/19) I need advice on how not to be such an asshole. | I need some advice on how to not be an asshole to people. Its not what you think, im generally a nice guy. I dont bully people for things they cant help. But i find myself always trying to argue my point with people regardless if im right or wrong. I have a really hard time accepting the fact that someone else is right. I have a fairly bad case of OCD so when im working i try tell everyone what to do and im 90% sure people hate me because of it. I know the way i treat people isnt the nicest or right, but i literally cant/dont know how to change and i dont know why. Im incredibly judgemental of people who dont have/show any common sense. I thought id make a new years resolution trying to be nicer to people, its the 1st day and ive already stuffed that up.
I honestly feel that the way i treat people is why i dont have many friends or can build very strong personal relationships with people. If anyone has advice on ways i can change even a little would be great. | having ocd and common sense makes me an asshole and everyone probably hates me. |
t3_186d9n | relationship_advice | [24/f] I'm tired of having the same fights with my fiance [37/m], but he keeps doing the same dumb crap. What do I do now? | My fiance and I have been in a million fights about him giving away the only time we have with just each other to his other friends. I work or go to school multiple evenings a week, and he has his 2 sons 40% of the time. We rarely have time to spend a few good hours together in a row.
This evening he got home around 6:30 and I thought we were going to have the rest of the evening together. We go to the gym, and as soon as we get there he announces that he has to go to his house (which he is renting to a friend of his and still stays at sometimes) to snowblow the driveway. He left three hours ago, and his friend checked in on Facebook with him at a restaurant that he had just told my fiance has a great beer selection.
I knew when he left that he was going to end up hanging out with his friend all night. I could have told him to come right back, but then he would have insisted that was the only option. I know I didn't say anything so that he would confirm my expectations. He did, and now I'm angry and hurt. We have fought about this so many times before, and our fights always get explosive and overblown. Whenever he is criticized, he gets defensive and mean, and then ultimately ends up agreeing he was a dick. Then nothing changes.
How the hell do I get things to change? I'm so tired of this. I know I struggle with my own pride and wanting him to figure shit out because I matter and not because I said to. We've been fighting a lot lately, and I don't know how I can remotely say something with it not being a huge argument. | My fiance keeps doing things that we have had major arguments about, and I don't know how to go about getting the point across any differently. |
t3_4i3yzp | loseit | NSV: A failure this week made me realise how far I've come | My NSV actually comes on the wings of defeat. On Tuesday I totally binged, like, really bad, plus I'm working the back shift this week and it's screwing with my schedule. As a result, when I went to the gym the next day I failed miserably. Possibly one of the worst days I can recall recently at.
But, this lead to me realizing three victories I have had that I wouldn't have realized without this off day.
1) I have come SUPER far on my journey. I'm 35lbs down, and even though I failed my routine the other day, I still wouldn't have even been able to do it half that well a few months ago. So it may have been an off day for me considering the stage I'm at now, but it showed me that I really have come so far.
2) It showed me how important maintaining good eating habits really is. One bad day like that made me bloated, sick, and caused me to seriously under perform. Lesson learned!
And 3) I have had a total shift in attitude. A few months ago if I failed as poorly as I just did, I probably would have given up and relapsed into old habits. But now? Now I'm even more determined to continue to improve and impress myself even more than I have. This time getting healthy is about ME. I want to prove to myself that I can do it, and it's working.
So even if you have a shitty day, week, or month, remember that you're still miles ahead of where you would be if you never even tried. So pull yourself back together and keep going. One successful day won't end in perfect results, just like one bad day won't ruin everything you've worked for. | Having an absolutely terrible day with both diet and exercise didn't kill my motivation, it made me realize how much I've improved and showed me why what I'm doing is important. |
t3_k7adt | AskReddit | My wife and myself are both going to be outsourced by the end of the week by an "All American Company"... | She has worked for them for five years, I have worked for them for eight years. We both do different computer related support roles for this retailer, and we were bought out six months ago by a firm who was going to expand us.
Instead, they have made countless promises, cut wages, stopped hiring, and starting today I just found out I have to train associates in India who are being brought in to do my job for $3.25 an hour.
I am making about $15 and know five times as much as they do.
I know about burning bridges and how that isn't the professional thing to do, but if EVERY SINGLE position in the company is being eliminated and shipped overseas, does it matter?
I don't want to break the law here, but this is a publicly traded company that just recently got a TAX BREAK from the local government because they promised to keep jobs in the area.
They also don't care about the customers, the existing business, or anything, just the bottom line.
This is our whole families source of income, and one of the highest paying jobs in the rural area we live. When we lose our jobs this Thursday or Friday the rage will be enormous.
What is the most vile thing I can do to a publicly traded company and not end up in prison? | I want to set fire to the CEO's baby |
t3_jszul | AskReddit | How do I get motivated for college? | I am currently in college after graduating high school a few months ago. I am not a dumb person. Up until the end of sophomore year of high school, I was always one of the smarter kids in class. I learned easily and gave a shit. I got mostly A's and some B's and occasionally a C. Towards the end of my sophomore year, I started to become a slacker and stopped giving as much of a shit. I wasn't as motivated and my outlook on school negated more and more as time went on. I got a C- in math because I hated it and it made me feel like shit every day because I refused to pay attention for some reason. Junior year, I basically failed Pre-Calculus (well, my teacher passed me with a D) both semesters, I was failing Chemistry at one point second semester (I was planning on dropping it, so I didn't try, but they ended up not letting me) and I didn't read my books on time in English. Senior year, I still don't give a shit and don't pay much attention in class, but it doesn't really matter that much because my schedule was easy and I didn't reallt have to try that hard. Now I'm in college, like I said, and I still have a shitty work ethic. I don't want to put effort into subjects I don't care about/have no interest in. I was supposed to read a chapter out of my anthropology book, which I'm not going to do because maybe we really won't have to (yeah yeah yeah...) and I really don't want to. I am dropping my stats class tomorrow because I don't want to go through math class again because it drives me insane and frustrated the shit out of me when I get behind (which is because I don't pay attention). **I am aware that I sound like a complete loser**, but that's how I feel. I can't seem to get it through my thick skull that I need to succeed at this. Maybe it's because I don't have an end goal (I don't know what I want to pursue for sure).
Is all this normal? How do I get motivated and give a shit? Do I have ADD? Do I need adderall? Is college not for me? | I used to be good at school but I stopped giving a shit and now I'm in college and am fucked. |
t3_asv4u | AskReddit | dear REDDIT, why do people whistle? | nobody does it well. listening to someone whistle is most often like listening to some asshole who doesn't actually know the words, or that asshole who raps out a beat on his desk, then misses a beat
in fact, i have only heard about one or two people in my whole life who can actually make music with whistling worth listening to.
every other asshole who whistles is off-key, gets the melody wrong, and sounds worse than a 5 year-old's first violin lesson
what's worse is that whistler's do it non-stop, seeming to sense that no one will ask them to stop.
as a society, we don't tolerate people bursting spontaneously into song in the workplace.
what about whistling gives people the idea that the rest of would just love to hear them listening? | quit whistling; you suck at it. |
t3_1qjygs | personalfinance | Post 86 After Tax Contributions | Many people advocated the following:
1. 401(k) up to the company match
2. Max Roth 401(k) (or traditional I don't want to debate that now)
3. Finish maxing out 401(k)
4. Max HSA contributions (if an HSA is the right choice for you again don't want to debate that now)
Now let's say I've done all of that. And lets say my company allows me to contribute to a Post 86 After Tax account [up to $51,000 MINUS all employee & employer contributions to 401(k)]
Can someone explain to me what the benefits of this After Tax account are versus a normal taxable account?
How about the disadvantages?
___________ | We talk about lot about 401(k)s, IRAs, and even HSAs but I haven't read anything on this subreddit about After Tax Contributions (Post 86 specifically) |
t3_1d0ynw | pettyrevenge | Poopie Toothbrush: Petty revenge on my own kid | Some back ground: Me, twenty something mom going through divorce.
Her: 7 years old copping the attitude, "But I don't have to do that at dad's house". (For every thing I ask/tell her to do)
So, our place had one small bathroom for the entire house. Sink hanging off the wall with mirror/medicine cabinet just above it, toilet right next to sink. Shower/Tub directly across from said sink/toilet arrangement. Teeny, as in two people wouldn't fit in there.
So everyone has to keep their bathroom stuff put away. The medicine cabinet was equipped with a toothbrush holder and that is where they were supposed to go. My daughter, feeling entitled, refuses to put her toothbrush away and leaves it on the edge of the sink every time she uses it, because she doesn't have to put it away at DAD's house.
I try to explain to her why we don't leave our toothbrushes out: poopie water from toilet getting on it, germs from everyone else using the bathroom, it's in the way, etc...for weeks we go back and forth about her refusal to open the cabinet and put her own damn toothbrush in there!
Finally I am fed up and tell her, "If I find your toothbrush on the sink one more time I am going to scrub my butt with it." She gives me an incredulous look. "I mean it", I say.
I walk her to the bus stop, come back up to the house, yep, her toothbrush is laying IN the sink.
"Oooh! You little shit, I'll show you!"
Bring in the Hershey's Chocolate Syrup and proceed to coat the bristles, not too much but just enough.
I wish I had a picture of the look on her face when she found her toothbrush. Classic! It was all I could do to keep from laughing my ass off. (Cause that just would have been mean.)
She never left her toothbrush out again. She's an adult now and I only just recently told her that it was actually Chocolate. She mock hit me in the arm and then we cracked up. | My kid refuses to put her tooth brush away, I make her believe I scrubbed my butt with it. |
t3_2rkmj9 | relationships | Me [19 M] not sure if I should pursue a relationship with a recently met inexperienced girl [18F] | I met this girl around a week and a half ago and we've been on one date. It was fun and she was great to hang around and just have a laugh with. The problem is, I feel like she is kinda 'sheltered' for lack of better words. What I mean by this is that I feel she's still quite a 'good girl' and hasn't experienced much in the way of relationships or just life in general. For example she was telling me how until a week before I met her she had an extremely early curfew and her parents were still quite strict about it. I do like her, but I'm just not sure if a relationship with a girl of this type would ever work out for too long. | Should I pursue a relationship with a girl who is inexperienced and quite shy about a lot of things with strict parents. |
t3_2xmx59 | running | Amino energy before runs? | I did my first ever 7 mile run yesterday and felt like I could go miles and miles further when I was done. The person I run with was extremely exhausted by the end of it and started to slow down a lot the last two miles. We've run 4-5 miles a handful of times and I'm the one that is normally cursing the world at the end of it while she could keep running.
I thought this was pretty weird since she is much better at getting the other days of running and other cardio in training for a half marathon while I am normally too exhausted after lifting to do the full amount on our plan.
On the 7 mile run I figured I needed a boost before hand so I had some amino energy, and sure enough by the end of the run I felt like a million bucks. I was also pretty pumped to set a personal best for distance in one run though too. I was wondering if the reason I felt so much better even though I ran 2 miles further than ever before was the amino energy, the excitement from setting a personal best, a mix of both, or neither? | How helpful is amino energy in 'longer' (7 miles which I know is child's play to some on here) versus the adrenaline of setting a personal record by two miles? |
t3_r621i | AskReddit | Concerned about my friend's health, nowhere to turn. | I'm typing this shaking right now, so bear with me.
My best friend of my entire life, birth to now, just called me to say his mom left his dad. But it isn't that simple, as in a regular divorce.
His mom has a very obscure mental disorder, an offshoot of bipolar and schizophrenia. The medication she takes restricts her episodes to occurring every few years and they change each time. We think this is one of them, she was having some physical symptoms, but nothing we could point to. She flat out left his dad, but I don't have all the reasons now.
The plot thickens, as they have 3 sons. The youngest my friend, is 18. The other 22, another 25. The 25 year old has the same disorder as his mom, and is at home recovering from the first episode he had, triggered by a separate family issue. It is very much so within the realm of possibility that my friend has the same disorder, and I'm worried for his mental health.
He's expressed that he is distraught over the leaving, but feels mentally normal. I need to know how to help him. I guess that the best course of action would to not speculate on the disorder and help with the issue at hand, the grief of his parents splitting. Could somebody with experience in helping people, or dealing with divorce, please help me? I don't know what to say to him. Please, anybody, with anything help me. He's my best friend and it's killing me to see him like this.
Shit, I started crying now... Dammit. | read the whole thing, it's important. Friend's mom abruptly left his dad, friend may have rare mental disorder. I need advice on helping him with grief in this. |
t3_15yg9c | relationship_advice | My sister from Germany's kids have been taken into foster care. | My divorced 23 year old Sister (on my Stepdad's side ) who lives in Germany has 2 daughters, aged 2 and 4.we'll call her Mary. She's been dating a man for a few months and has become pregnant with twins with her new man.
Mary and her ex are currently in a custody battle, with the usual stuff flying back and forth, he claims she treats the children like animals, leaving them in their own filth and refusing to change their dirty clothes - she claims he threatens to kill her and the kids whenever he gets angry, hard to tell who is telling the truth and who is lying in these situations.
Mary's sister sides with the ex, they've got a strained relationship, always trying to make the other seem like a bad mother so her testimony is suspect.
Anyways, on to the dilemna, Social Services have stepped in and taken Mary's children, according to Mary they will be in care until a decision is made on who the kids will live with, is this a likeley scenario in Germany, or is it more likely that she is actually an unfit mother? Mary doesn't seem to be doing anything towards regaining custody of her kids, after 2 weeks she finally told me she'd arrange an appointment with a lawyer, she has no clue what her rights are in this situation and doesn't seem to be in any hurry to fight for her children - she just bought a new house with her new man, in preperation for the twins arrival.
We are ignorant as to how the German custody system works, as we live in the UK but we need to know whether or not my Mother and Stepfather can step in and request custody, does anybody have any experience with the German social care system?
Ideally we want the kids to go back to their Mother, as we have no evidence that she is an unfit mother, but if it is permanent and not temporary and she is just lying to save face, we have a loving home waiting in the UK for them.
I am a 21 year old female, my Husband wrote this for me because I have dyslexia. | German sister loses kids to Social Services; We need to know if it is temporary or if she has really lost full custody due to neglect, so we can make our next move. |
t3_2hjkf6 | relationships | I [20/M] am feeling like my SO [20/F] of almost 2 years and I have been drifting apart and I have no idea what to do. | I [20/M] am feeling like my SO [20/F] of almost 2 years and I have been drifting apart and I have no idea what to do.
A little background info, I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years. I met her my first day of college, hooked up with her for about 2 weeks then asked her out. I have not been single in school since then. In the beginning of our relationship she was always physical, sexual and fun. Things began to shift towards a relationship that was cold and just not the same as time passed.
Both of us are struggling with mental health issues. I have been struggling with some pretty bad depression since middle school and she has been dealing with her own issues. As school went forward, both of our mental health situations regressed. We both gained weight, (something that she is very upset with) and spent all of our time together in our rooms. We stopped being sexual or physical at all really unless I initiated it. I am the one to go in for a hug or a kiss and she never initiates sex anymore.
I am assuming things have gotten to this point for many reasons: She is very self-conscious about her weight and is having body image issues, her mental health situation is less-than great, she has a chronic illness, and the real kicker is that I have been struggling with some infidelity issues which probably shattered her self-esteem as well.
She is very introverted and struggles to make friends and she spends almost all of her social time with me and my friends. Her father recently passed and I have been the only real "steady" thing in her life.
I feel so guilty for wanting sex when she doesn't. I am ashamed of cheating but it is still on my mind because I am very sexually driven. I've been reconsidering my sexuality recently (I think I might be bi), and that doesn't help that I want to explore. I feel like I should be there to help because that's what I've always done but I also want to explore new things. I'm so confused, what do I do? | We are drifting apart but I am conflicted about leaving. What should I do? |
t3_2h6zj7 | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [29M] for 4 years. Not sure if I need a diagnosis or a kick in the head. | I need something from r/relationships, and while I'm starting this post out hoping it's positive encouragement, I'm not sure what it will end with. I will try to keep this as concise as possible, but please feel free to ask if I need to further elaborate. My boyfriend is a wonderful
Guy, but he really struggles with these few issues, and I'm at my wits end. He works full time, has his own place, and generally has his shit together. However, he will change sometimes into someone I don't know. It's as if he disassociate from the situation, begins to mix up his words, forget what he had said, and more often than not, will become verbally abusive, specifically towards me. Obviously these episodes come in a much larger scale when he drinks, so he's cut they out of his life. I think the things that perplex me the most about these episodes are the fact that he doesn't remember them the next day, and while I can see a shift in behavior, there's never exactly a sole trigger. Certainly, stress plays a huge role.
Reddit, please help. What's wrong with him? I love him so much, but these episodes have turned me into an anxious mess. I struggle to focus in school and at work, and feel myself pulling away. I just want to help him. | boyfriend summers from dissociative episodes. |
t3_3e5fpp | AskDocs | Pain from Abdominal Adhesions | Howdy,
I'm nearly 35, female, 5ft 3in, 235lbs, caucasian.
26 years ago, my appendix ruptured. I had a very high fever (104F). I was on a respirator for 2 days, in the ICU for 10, and in hospital for 2 weeks. They had to cut open my ankle to find a vein for an IV. The surgery was very invasive.
I've had a nagging intermittent pain in both my right and left upper abdominal quadrants. As a dumb teen, I compensated for the pain with 8 to 12 ibuprofen in a sitting, 3 times a day. I stopped after being caught by my parents, taking the medication for about two weeks. Since then on, I've had peptic ulcers and IBS. I have GI upset when taking NSAIDs and Tylenol.
In the past year, I'd had increasing RUQ pain, reflux, heartburn, and nausea. Following a ultrasound, they found that my gallbladder was full of stones. A month and a half ago, I had my gallbladder removed.
Since then, the nausea has not gone away. The pain from the incisions has gone away, but the LUQ and RUQ pain remains.
I've maintained a low fat, bland diet since before my surgery. I am not on pain medication (I took oxycodone for two weeks following the surgery).
My doctors have put me on Librax 3x daily, and Protonix 2x daily.
I was sent to a GI specialist for an upper endoscopy, but the Doctor said no abnormalities were found.
My menstrual cycle has been unusually heavy and painful, especially in the upper abdomen.
My family doctor had prescribed the new medications, but said that adhesions are probably the cause. My surgeon said he did not want to proceed with any surgical treatments, unless it is life threatening.
What options do I have to reduce the pain and nausea? I don't want to continue taking narcotics, as they make me drowsy and constipated.
I'd like to manage my pain and nausea. My quality of life has suffered greatly since my recent surgery.
Any assistance is greatly appreciated! | Adhesions = pain and nausea = life sucking. |
t3_u61m5 | AskReddit | A friend and I convinced my younger brother that doughnuts actually grow on trees with doughnut holes being the seeds, and that there are badgers in restaurants that eat kids that don't eat their crusts. What funny thing(s) have you convinced someone gullible/ignorant of? | Full story:
At a restaurant one time my friend and I noticed my brother wasn't eating his crust and so we came up with the story (out of earshot of parents) that there were badgers (probably from a Redwall overdose) in the roof beams that would drop down to eat kids that refused to eat their crusts. He continued to protest that it wasn't true, but started eating the crusts, lol.
A couple weeks later my friend and I at a different restaurant decided to convince him doughnuts grew on trees. We went on and on about it, talking about how they only grow in South America and doughnut holes are the seeds, etc, and how we heard about it from a guy who did an assembly at our high schools. Eventually, unable to come up with another argument he proclaimed "oh yeah, I remember now, that guy came to my school too!"
Needless to say there was much mirth to be had. What are some of your hilarious deceptions? | See title of post. |
t3_26hpou | relationships | Is my [21/F] ex [20/M] ever going to realize my value ? | My ex is extremely happy without me. I was his first everything, and I made him feel like he was the greatest man alive. Now he really thinks he is the most amazing thing ever. His ego is extremely inflated, and to be honest, I am way out of his league, from what I hear.
I've been so great to him so when is he going to realize, if ever, that he should have gave me that chance I literally begged him for? I was sooo good to him, and he thinks I loved him because he is the greatest catch, but I just genuinely loved him. I took this guy out of the friend zone because I thought he was a good guy, but he thinks that he mastered his skills of talking to girls thats why he got me, and that he is great in bed..but I taught him everything he knows. A close friend told me that he's going to crash and burn and that I shouldn't have even "lowered my standards" when I gave him a chance, because I built him up so much, and now in his eyes, I'm not even good enough for him.
I know I need to move on, and what he's feeling shouldn't matter, but It really hurts because i'm still in love with him. | I was his first love, and he completely unappreciated me. Is he going to ever realize that the grass is not greener on the other side? What does it take for guys to learn the value of a good girl, and regret taking us for granted? |
t3_54mn0x | relationships | Need advice on meeting my wife tomorrow | My [37M] wife [37F] (married since 13 years, together since 15) asked me to leave the house 2 month ago - reason: she tells me she lost all feelings towards me after our son's birth 10 years ago. Both kids daughter 6 and son 10 stayed with her. We had some contact since but the last two weeks we barely sent any messages to each other, yet I have been talking to both my kids on phone regularly.
Tomorrow I am flying to them for 4 days. As the contact to my wife has become less in the past weeks I think that that is a sign for loosing our relationship. She has not started any chat, always only replies to my messages. Has not called only responded to my calls.
I am not sure how to behave when we will meet. Do I hug her or just say hello? Do I show my feelings that I am sad and want our family back together or do I play the "life is good" part? Should I bring her a gift? (Since I left I sent two boxes with presents to them, my wife said thank you but without any comments or sign of joy). Sent her flowers on our 13th wedding anniversary, got only a thank you message in whatsapp. Should I try to talk to her about our relationship or should I leave this topic out as she always tells me not to pressure her. | wife asked to leave family 2 month ago, tomorrow will be first time I will meet wife and kids again - need advice how to behave towards my wife to make the best impression |
t3_qqee9 | AskReddit | My father will lose his fight with cancer soon. I want to make a documentary video for friends/family/my future kids/self. Where do I start? What should I ask him? | Hi Reddit! Here's a quick rundown of my situation... I am m/25, only child, work in DC
My father, Hank, got news yesterday that treatment for his Multiple Myeloma is not taking hold. The doctors said his current grueling hospital treatments are going to the about 5% effective at combating it and he has decided to sign a DNR, switch to strong pill chemo, and go home. The doctors don't have a time frame, but he is still cogent enough to talk.
I will be visiting him on Tuesday (3/13) and I wanted to have a long conversation with him. I got an idea from a friend on my TF2 forums (he deserves much karma, but I'm not sure if redditor) to tape the conversation documentary style and preserve it for future generations.
I'm in DC, he is in the New England Area. Before I leave, I'm going to go to Best Buy and pick up a video camera. I've never used a video camera before, but I'm decent with technology. I have no filmmaking experience, my family was never really good with photos or video.
What I really need right now is a list of good questions to ask him and I don't know where to start. Can anyone give me any questions or tips for doing this? Time is an unknown factor right now... doctors aren't giving a time frame, but thankfully he won't pass away urgently. (Doctors say miracle might happen, but I'm not going to cling to that) | See title |
t3_37pcar | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [18 F] of about 2 months. We also dated for a year about one year ago. She hasn't gotten over me sleeping with other girls while we weren't dating. | We dated for a year, I broke up with her before we went to college. We go to the same college. We are now dating again, with new feelings for each other.
While we weren't dating, about 9 months, I had short lived relationships and a few one night stands. She had month long flings with several guys, and slept with them all.
She claims it's worse for me to have slept with girls I wasn't very emotionally invested in (nor were they emotionally invested in me), than for her to have slept with the many guys she had flings with.
I no longer get (as bad of) an ache in my stomach when I'm reminded of her past relationships, but she certainly cringes when she catches the slight hint of my past. I normally can ease her worries, but I have no idea what I could tell her that would make her feel better.
I want her to feel better. This isn't a sexism debate.
Thank you. | My GF still feels ill about my past with other girls. |
t3_2it1cd | Advice | Should I buy a new phone? | I have a htc one m7 unlocked, I rooted the phone and flashed CM10 on it, also I just dropped it and the screen is cracked.
I honestly am tired to mess with my phone so I'm not going to buy any screen replacement to try to repair it
I was going to pay the phone repair place to fix my software to put it back to stock
They told me it's going to be 200$ for the whole thing, and with 220$ I can buy a htc one on ebay...
should i buy one on ebay and sell this one on craigslist or should I wait for christmas with the cracked screen and get a brand new One Plus One and sell my phone on craigslist? | = 200$ to fix my phone, too much - selling it on craigslist - should I buy the same htc one for 220$ or wait for christmas and get a one plus one for 100$ more? |
t3_qivfo | AskReddit | A garage, a cat, and a skunk. Now what? | Last evening I got home and had just opened the garage door when I saw a black and white animal streak into the garage. I'm pretty sure it was a cat because I think the white was on the side. But there was a strong smell of skunk around.
I'm guessing the cat got sprayed and ran in there to try to get away. It was burrowing behind a shelf when I walked in there. I could hear it but not see it. The poor thing wouldn't come out, so decided to go inside for a while and let it calm down. I did shut the garage door too.
2 hours later I checked but couldn't find the animal, so I opened the garage door and left it for 30 minutes, then shut it. This morning, I can't tell if the animal is in there or not. I really hope it isn't planning on staying to die.
I don't want to put food out to see if it gets eaten, because I don't want to effectively adopt another cat (or possibly a skunk). Any ideas? | animal, probably cat sprayed by skunk, hiding in my garage. |
t3_341195 | relationships | Feel like I'm (20F) losing attraction to my boyfriend (21M)... HELP? | We've been together for over 3 years. We are quite young but I feel like on the whole we have a rock solid relationship, we hardly ever argue and get along really well. (especially compared to other couples I know)
The problem is that I feel like he is my best friend.... and I love him so much, but I don't feel much sexual attraction to him any more. I feel unsatisfied in our sex life, I have much less desire for sex with him than I used to and when we do have sex its not as good..
I was considering breaking up but I don't think realistically I could do that. I couldn't do that to him, he is so in love with me and I can't even entertain the thought of breaking his heart. I feel like I would also be very upset, he is my partner and closest friend in every way - there is still no one I have felt this strongly about. I have pictured breaking up and I think I would regret it so strongly. I don't think its the solution...
I don't know what to do. I wish I felt the same as I did three years ago, or even a year ago. I want to work through this and heal the relationship, I don't want to give it up.
How can I feel more attracted to him again? Is this normal for a relationship of this length? I don't know how to fix this | sexual attraction to bf waning, don't want to break up but want advice on how to move forward together |
t3_4f93cr | relationships | I [16 M] have no idea how to make a move with my Girlfriend [16 F] | Sorry for the teenager post but I'm not too sure where else to say this.
Basically, I have never been in a relationship before in my life. I am somewhat socially inept but I've been improving over the past year. Me and this one girl had been talking for several months, it was clear we liked eachother, so I got the nerve to ask her out- she said yes!
The problem is I really have no idea how to make a move. We've been flirting on and off for a while and she's totally down to make out, but she's the type where she doesn't initiate anything. Its pretty much all up to me but I don't really know how- so I don't start anything and she leaves kinda upset. | How to make a move when you're completely clueless? |
t3_ffp82 | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, What are some cool "grandpa" stories that you have? | After seeing [this post] and thinking about my granddad, I wanted to hear some of your granddad stories. That way you could all remember and honor your granddads because granddads fucking rock.
I'll share one. My "pa" lived next to a lake and a large creek system. In the winter, the lake's water level would drop significantly. One winter, it was extremely low (you could see the middle of the lake), and my cousin and I were staying with pa. My cousin is about 6 years younger than me, and we, both being young boys, wanted to go exploring. Pa said to just be back by dark. We went off stomping through muddy creek beds and even found our way out into the middle of the dried up lake. We had the best time ever. We did stay out too late however, and Pa had to come looking for us. It was sundown before he found us, and we were covered in mud from head to toe. Pa was probably the maddest I'd ever seen him, but he was still our granddad, ya know? He chastised us for disobeying him, got his point across, and generally made us feel like shit with just one statement of disapproval, then it was over. Pa didn't have to ground us, or beat us. He just said that we pissed him off, took us to the house, got us clean and made us supper. He had every right to be completely mean to us over that, but he didn't he was just Pa, and I loved him for that. I miss Pa. | Tell me about your granddad. Mine was fucking awesome. |
t3_33ytnt | relationships | My husband wants friends, but only female friends. | I accidentally (yes, for real) stumbled upon the "meet me app" on my husbands phone.
He claims that he was using it to try and meet friends in our area. (He is a stay at home father and in general doesn't have any pals) For the most part, his replies to other people were innocuous, but he recently posted about getting a cock ring and wanting to test it on someone (and we did later that night).
When I confronted him about the app he explained that he wanted to make friends, but specifically, female friends- but only since he hasn't had any female friends since college (which is when we got together). I desperately want to believe this since I know he gets pretty lonely around here with just our toddler to keep him company. He deleted the app at my insistence, but I know that doesn't mean much.
I want to believe that he is innocent and I'm freaking out, but at the same time, I subscribe to the Steve Harvey school of thinking about heterosexual friendship.
I'm an incredibly jealous and territorial woman (we're both in late 20s, been together for 10 years), so the fact That he even wants "girl-friends" gets me riled. | am I over reacting? Can men and women just be friends? Why do married men want to *find* female friends? Am I about to be cheated on??? |
t3_2erstg | relationships | Me [28 M] and GF [28 F] have been dating and living together for 2 years, today she wants to end in because we are not engaged yet. | I met my GF in the same company I work at. After a few long months of pursuing, we finally started dating. Only after a few months of dating, she moved in to my apartment. As our relationship got more serious, she started asking when we would get married. I have always told her that it was too early and that we needed to get our things in order.
We've been very close and happy until this morning when she finally broke down and told me that if I don't want to get married, there is no need for her to be in the relationship. I do not consider getting married - not with her, not with anyone else. I love her very much but she is giving me an ultimatum that I don't think I can say yes to. I don't want to be pressured into marriage.
I am pretty sure, you guys read this sort of dilemma every single day but never have I thought I'd be in it.
I am torn, heartbroken and speechless. I do want to keep what we have without the pressure of marriage. I guess, I am going to have to let her go, if this isn't going to work for her anymore.
What do you think? | GF [28 F] of 2 years breaking up with me [28 M] because I do not want to get engaged. |
t3_3itmri | relationships | Me [21 M] dated with my ex [20 F] for 2 years, have been broken up for about a year and a half now, still talk time to time but I want her back. | Her and I started dating before my senior/her junior year in high school. I went to college in a different state for my first year and a half and I broke up with her when I was home over break halfway into my freshman because the long distance thing wasn't gonna work for us and I thought it was for the better.
When I came home that summer we started hanging out, going out to dinner, and having sex just like before. I never wanted to make things official again because I would just be leaving for school again in a few months. I continue this with her til the day I left for school. A few weeks of little contact when I'm at school and she texts me to tell me that she has a new boyfriend and that she is sorry. I was really mad about it at first and thought it was wrong of her, but then again I never put strings on anything when I came home that summer.
Now to the present. A year and a half into college (last Spring) I transferred to a university much closer to my home therefore much closer to her. We have hung out once since then (last Fall maybe), I took her to dinner and we just chatted and hung out with my dog (he's much better with the ladies than I am). When she was leaving my house I kissed her and she didn't pull but I could tell there was nothing to it (if that makes sense). She told me some lines about how she is too busy with school/work/etc etc etc to be dating anyone and brought up things that I mistreated her when I left for school, old issues.
We still talk now time to time, mostly casual stuff about work and school. She is open to making plans though, but assures me her schedule is really busy. What is my best plan of action to make her fall for me again or should I just be done with it? | Dated a girl for 2 years. Broke up because I moved away to college. I transferred to a school closer to home (for unrelated reasons). We are both single again. I want her back. |
t3_507dap | relationships | My [27F] ex-boyfriend [28M] is now my co-worker. His sister [25F] threatened to destroy my life if I don't stay away from him. | My ex and I were together for about 1.5 years. We broke up 4 years ago.
He's autistic. He's not low functioning but he struggled with communication and social interactions significantly. I tried my best during those 1.5 years but it was so difficult. I loved him and wanted the best for him but being with him had become very difficult. So I left. He didn't want us to break up and told me that he'd try to change but he had promised me that too many times before. I don't blame him, it's a disability, but I couldn't stay in that relationship. I knew he'd be hurt so I suggested that he'd get help dealing with it.
Anyway, we didn't remain in contact. At that time I was friends with his sister but she never talked to me after I broke up with him.
Last week I started a new job. I had no idea he's working at the same place but I saw him there. We didn't talk much, only that I started working here. It's a big company and we work in different departments, we won't run into each other regularly.
Today his sister called me and asked to have lunch. I agreed. Well she freaked out completely on me. I had never seen her like that. It was like she hated me in every imaginable way. She told me I shouldn't talk to my ex, I shouldn't even look at him, I shouldn't try to enter his life and if she learns that I've done anything to get close to him she'll make sure my life is a living hell and that I have no idea what she's capable of.
I was shocked at her level of anger and asked if something had happened to him and she told me that I left so I don't have a right to ask questions. She repeated the threats.
I'm still in shock. My mom thinks I should go to the police although I don't think she's a violent person. She was angry. I don't know what to do here. | I left my autistic boyfriend 4 years ago. Now we're coworkers at my new job and his sister came to me and threatened to make my life a living hell if I don't leave him alone. |
t3_379lx1 | relationships | I'm [18 M] getting shit from my friends and my girlfriend's [16 F] friends for dating a 16 year old. | Seriously?!! We actually are pretty deeply in love, and it's not like i have a position of authority over her... we met at a dance show!
If it was a 26 year old guy dating a 24 year old girl, no one would bat an eye. We are in a purely consensual relationship and one of her friends has called me a pedo... WTF? Even my friends give me shit for it, though most of the time they are joking. But it's really annoying and at this point I'm not going to tell anyone I have a gf...
Is it really that wrong for an 18 year old to date a 16 year old? | I'm technically an adult and I'm dating a minor... big whoop. |
t3_23y9x7 | loseit | [F, 5'5", SW: 165, CW: 159] I dropped 3.44% body fat over the course of the semester; my triceps skin-fold went from 19mm to 13mm!! | So I'm a Kinesiology major, and one of my classes this semester was a Physical and Motor Fitness Assessment. So lots of training was done to hit specific physical goals; for example, based on body weight I needed to leg press 355, I had to vertical jump 22 inches, and run a 21.0 200m dash (I got a B with 21.5 seconds), and many more diabolical things.
It's a tough course.
At the start of the semester we did a body composition lab, taking measurements and skin-folds to assess our risks of developing health problems as we age.
**My original numbers:**
Height- 5'5"
Weight- 165 lbs
Triceps- 19mm
[Iliac Crest] 16mm
Thigh- 18mm
Waist- 29 in.
Hips- 41 in.
[Body Fat Percentage] *21.12%*
**My new numbers:**
Height- 5'5"
Weight- 159.1 lbs
Triceps- 13mm
Iliac Crest- 14mm
Thigh- 16mm
Waist- 29 in.
Hips- 41 in.
Body Fat Percentage- *17.68%*
*****
I'm in shock.
I was always the kinda lazy basketball player, always somewhat out of shape for the season. I could play entire games without sitting, but I wasn't as good as I could have been. I was able to get away with it due to good fundamental skills, unfortunately. I've never trained for anything like I have for this class. I assume it's because I'm getting a grade... | I dropped 6 lbs and went from 21 to 17.7% body fat, I feel like an athlete! Some clothes fit better and some look humongous!!! |
t3_28088g | relationships | How can I [18M] make her [18F] stop feeling guilty about being with me? | I have been friends with Amy since the beginning of this year (we both just graduated high school). About a month back, I started going out with Mary, one of Amy's best friends. When I told Amy about Mary and I, she confessed that she was starting to become interested in me. The next few times Amy and I hung out, she came on to me, and it ended pretty close to sex before Amy stopped due to guilt.
Amy is clearly very into me, and since the summer started we have gotten really close and I have realized she is the one I want to be with. The only problem is, she's leaving in two months, while Mary and I will be attending the same university. Amy feels bad for ruining what I had with Mary, but honestly my relationship with Mary hadn't been very satisfying for me and she didn't seem interested in anything serious (not that it went on long enough to really judge it).
Since then, I have stopped seeing Mary very much and I see Amy all the time. Whenever I initiate anything sexual, she is super into it at first, then her guilt kicks in and she tells me to stop initiating anything. She is, for some reason, still ok with sleeping together and basically grinding all night. There have been multiple occasions where I probably could have successfully initiated sex, but despite really wanting to, I don't because I know how guilty she will feel afterwards.
Is there a way I can stop making Amy feel so guilty about the situation? I just wish I would have never started anything with Mary so this could work out. | Girl feels guitly about our relationship because I recently had a thing with her friend. |
t3_3vp8j7 | relationship_advice | In a LDR and I [24/f] have serious FOMO. Wish I was there with my [25/m] boyfriend! Who can relate? | My boyfriend and I are both extroverts and the fact that he is always going to shows and festivals etc. is one of the things I love about him. We both love DOING stuff but I am away at school in a much, much smaller city. I have only been here for three semesters too so I don't know a whole lot of people. He grew up in the city he lives in (I'm going to move there when I'm finished with school in May) so he knows a ton of people and there's always a party to go to.
I haven't been anywhere for longer than 2 years since I was 15. It's hard to establish real lifelong friendships in such a short span of time... I can't wait to settle down in a place with him. I really envy him for still having so many childhood friends (btw they're my friends now too) but it is so hard to hear about all the fun he is having without me. I know he really wishes I could be there with him all the time but it still bums me out.
We get into these "nothing-fights" a lot on the weekends. They'll be about one thing when they really have more to do with the fact that I am just having such a hard time on the other side of the "fence" (this is the kind of epiphany that happens when I am thinking rationally). It's not his fault and I think he tries to understand but I still feel lonely. | Can anyone relate? I don't want my own insecurities to effect this relationship. I don't think my personal issues are going to drive him away because we just love each other too much and we're happy, but how can I better cope with the distance? I would just love some words of encouragement! I can't keep burdening him with my problems... Thanks. |
t3_38xows | relationships | Me [25 F] with a wonderful but non romantic fiancé [30 M]. I need help before it ruins our relationship. | I have never submitted to this sub, so I'm a little nervous. I hope it do this right.
I have to start off by saying that my fiancé is a very wonderful and kind man. We have been together almost 3 years. But he does not know how to be romantic, and it's hurting our relationship.
I am a very romantic person, I go out of my way to make gestures. It is getting to the point I am wondering if I can marry somebody that doesn't show love as much as I do. If I bring this up to him, he usually says something like "I brought you home flowers a few months ago!" or "we show love differently". Although I do appreciate him bringing me flowers or a chocolate bar every few months, I feel he's not really trying. Yes, we do show love differently, but I make it a point to show him love the way he likes. I am not a high maintenance girl. He doesn't have to do anything huge to make me happy
I am starting to become very sad knowing that almost any romance we have had is from me planning it out. I want to be able to talk to him without him becoming defensive. I don't want this to ruin our relationship. Thank you for your help, reddit. | My fiancé isn't romantic and I need help talking to him before our relationship becomes sour. |
t3_2ztor9 | Parenting | Daughter watches too much "crap" on Youtube, need tips for merging between learning and having fun. | I need advice with helping my 8yo daughter make a better use of her time. Right now, most of her free time goes to watching fanmade videos and watching a bunch of My Little Pony videos. And then playing video games on the PC. I can see these things taking their toll over her brain. She's kinda addicted and her grades became lower because during exams she's not concentrated but instead she's thinking about the things she watched on youtube.
I need help with maybe some sites or youtube channels that could occupy her but be more productive for her. She likes science, so I'm looking for any kids-friendly science show I could get for her. She likes stories. So if there's any youtube channel with good stories for kids that could enrich her vocabulary or expose her to good storytelling and literature. I'm a real big fan of finding productive habits to do for fun in your free time. So how can I merge learning with fun? I'm in a really busy period atm so I can't always be with her teaching new things. She'd have to do a lot of it during her free time alone. | I need good youtube channels, sites, entertainment that could occupy my 8yo daughter but help her develop in some way. |
t3_z44ax | AskReddit | Parents of Reddit: Why did you think it was appropriate to purchase your child and/or teen a laptop and/or iPhone? | I'm a parent of two kids. My wife and I have made a pact that we will, under no circumstances, buy our kids laptops or goddamn iPhones while they are children, and even when they are teens (college, perhaps). I see the value in each item in this modern era, but they are just luxuries which aren't needed to function on a day to day basis. Furthermore, if your argument is that kids need to be/feel connected to their friends or the world, what's wrong with just buying them a simple cell phone, or only allowing them to use the home desktop PC? I would also argue that both devices are huge distractions and aside from an educational benefit (learning resources, calculators, word processors etc), they serve no other purpose to a kid or teen other than games and facebook. | Seeing way too many 5th graders with iPhone's, overhearing way too many fights between teens and parents about proper laptop usage. I think it's ridiculous. |
t3_wbopo | AskReddit | So depressed, now I find myself unable to eat, anyone have ideas on how I can make my body let me eat? | I have been very depressed lately, I was recently discharged from the navy for a concussion and migraines, which started my depression as I was training for one of the hardest jobs in the military and was doing surprisingly well. Ended up moving home. Now I'm extremely lonely, I have random Hookups... As in I've slept with 7 people in the last two months, but every time it makes me feel worse than before. I just want someone to care about me, and now I find myself unable to eat, and when I try to eat I become physically sick and my body won't let me keep my food down. I'm starving but every time I eat I get nauseous and vomit not long after. I am a pretty physically fit person, so this is also ruining my workout routine as I usually intake about 3-3.5k calories a day. How can I get over people not caring about me, or how can I get my food to stay in my stomach? Can reddit give me some help? | medical discharge, dream crushed, now just want someone to care about me, random sex makes me more depressed, now I can't eat. |
t3_qtfv7 | AskReddit | Need sex advice: Can't cum with a condom, gf won't return oral sex (nsfw) | My current girlfriend is the only girl I've ever had penetrative sex to orgasm with. We've been having sex using the pull-out method, but the other week I got a little excited and didn't pull out in time. Now, even though she's on the pill, she insists on me using a condom. The problem is that I simply can't have an orgasm in a condom, I've never been able to, and I have rarely been able to stay hard long enough to put one on.
This problem is made worse by her unwillingness to return oral sex. I go down on her frequently, usually multiple times in one night and then again in the morning for good measure, but she never returns the favor. I don't know if she has any particular reason other than perhaps it just grosses her out, but I feel like I'm being left hanging.
So my current situation is that I can't get oral from my girlfriend, and I also can't keep it up while wearing a condom, so I'm left finishing myself off when she leaves.
The condom thing is more important to me. I feel like this is a bigger issue, since I feel like I should be more aroused than I am, and seeing that most guys don't seem to have a problem maintaining and finishing with a condom. Is there a way for me to enhance my arousal, or make myself more sensitive?
The oral thing is still important too, is it something that I should be able to just ask her about? | can't keep it up in a condom, but girlfriend won't perform oral on me, so I'm not getting off even after I've gotten her off multiple times. |