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t3_2g9a1e | legaladvice | Dad wants me to take inheritance so he doesn't lose VA benefits? | Hello
Last year my dad had a stroke so I moved to Texas to help him out. I have always visited him about once every year or every other year but I haven't lived with him since I was 4. He still has some minor problems but he is fully functional. He is a Vietnam Vet and receives benefits for such.
About 6 months ago my grandmother (his mother) passed away. She has apparently left him an inheritance. Yesterday he asked me if I would be okay with putting the inheritance in my name and into a bank account with my name on it. His reasoning was that if he had all this extra money he would lose (his estimate) $30,000 in VA benefits.
Am I wrong in thinking this just sounds like fraud to get around something? It doesn't really sound like something I should do nor be apart of. I am currently living in his house with him but I do have the means to move out if I need to as I make $40,000 a year. If I did do this what kind of trouble could I land in? | Dad has inheritance but wants me to take it in my name so he doesn't lose benefits worth 30k. |
t3_1gfak6 | relationships | [27f]I have had a crush for 5 months while in a 4+ year LTR with[31m]…current relationship has issues that have been addressed but nothing seems to be changing…what gives? | The title says it all. I am a 27 year old female in a 4.5 year long term relationship with a 31m who I love and care deeply about. Our relationship has never been absolutely perfect (whose is?), but we have been able to manage our issues well. Earlier this year we started having frequent quarrels/disagreements/arguments and shortly after I found myself with a crush on someone else.
I know crushes are normal, but I took it as a sign that it was time to address the serious issues we have in our relationship (dead bedroom; little spark/romance, future goals, and family issues). It is now 5 months later, I still have the crush (although I would NEVER act on it) and our issues have not been fixed. In fact, my partner does not seem to think that our issues are as big as I have made them out to be.
He currently lives at home and I live with roommates. His answer to our issues is to move in together. We had been planning to move in together when my lease is up, but I do feel that our issues (especially our dead bedroom), should be addressed before we move in together and are locked into a lease.
We get along well, I love him, and I can't imagine him not being in my life….we are best friends. I am trying my best to fix our relationship, but he seems to think the cure all is to just move in together? Is this a good idea? Is couples therapy better? Is this relationship just expiring?
Any advice or suggestions are appreciated… | In a long term relationship with SO. I have had a crush on someone else for 5 months...I took the crush as a sign that issues in my current relationship need to be addressed but SO other does not think that are issues are as big as they seem. |
t3_r3e74 | relationship_advice | I can't stand my mother | My mother is completely negative all the time. I see her at all family events (ie. my kid's birthday parties, holidays, etc...) and every single time she walks in and sours things with her petty comments, bad mood and pointless criticism.
I recently had my daughters birthday costume party at my house and she walked in the door and without saying anything else she said, "what kind of outfit is that? It looks silly" to my wife. My wife went to her room for a bit and cried.
She is in a stupid feud with her twin sister and when she found out that I was going to her nephew's wedding (my cousin, whom I have no issue with), she went crazy about how disloyal I was to her and how disrespectful I am to her feelings. I just don't want to see a family feud spread.
She is always like this and it isn't just with me. She even ruined my brothers engagement party by screaming at him for not coming straight home for a private family party immediately after popping the question. He just wanted to spend some time with his fiancé happy in the moment.
Every family event that is supposed to be happy always ends for me with a general sense of sadness. I have had enough.
I don't want to invite her to things anymore but feel badly excluding her as she is still my mother. My wife avoids her. Even my children, whom she has also been pretty heavy-handed with don't seem to want to spend time around her.
I don't know why she is like this. She had a tough childhood, but her attitude is ruining her relationship with her children and family. She is just so *bitter* about everything.
Obviously I need to speak with her about this, but I'm not sure what to say or how to say it in a way that will not make her defensive. Did I mention she has a trigger temper and is incredibly sensitive? Yeah, this won't be fun.
But I want to work things out, so please help me. | How do I salvage my relationship with my mother and get her to mellow out so she stops ruining family events? Any tips on having that kind of talk with her that won't just lead to more fighting? Anyone else deal with a family member that makes everyone unhappy? |
t3_wjouk | loseit | Is my cross-trainer is lying to me? | 6'4 - 280lbs / 192cm - 130kg here. I decided to shed the kilo's and got myself a cross-trainer a few months ago, for working out at home. I am using it a few times a week now. But there is something that bugs me about it:
Like most exercise machines, it has a calorie-counter to see how much you've burned - but I think it's way off. I did 45 minutes yesterday at 120BPM - and it tells me I burned 400 calories. Can that be right? It's a little disheartening if it takes that much to burn so little. | What does a guy like me burn on a cross-trainer? |
t3_1dj2mv | AskReddit | 100k+ income or 70k in debt... what would you choose? | Reddit I want your opinion. I just got accepted to a top 3 engineering university but I have no way to pay for it. I am finishing my associates degree in engineering science and on a whim I applied for a few jobs that I was qualified for but will obviously pay less than an engineer. I was offered a position that I would enjoy (my first real job really) and it pays around 50k. My wife also works and makes 55k. We live in the midwest and have no debt so this would be a pretty good income for us. What would you do? Take the job and dont look back or take on the 70k in debt (20k a year for 3 years plus interest) and try to get a job in the engineering field. | no debt, got a job offer, combined income over 100k, do this or go in debt to be an engineer. |
t3_2i1gws | relationships | My ex (23f) is attacking me(23m) on her blog | My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago with her believing I cheated on her the entire relationship even though I havent. While I havent cheated, she believes due to the fact that I
* Had dinner with my ex and didnt tell her( She had said it was ok that I can have lunch or dinner with my ex)
* Believed I cheated on her and got some girl pregnant or had intentions to cheat because I deleted a text message( I was asking about a girl I dated before her lying about the abortion she had through a friend. My ex believed that there was no pregnancy at all.)
Since the breakup, we kept mainly in contact everyday thru text messaging and phone calls lasting hours. I was confused and thought that we were going to get back together like we did before(broke up before due to the dinner) On Sunday,I asked if we were going to get back together and she said no, which I then tell her we can't be friends at the moment.
A couple days later, I contact her to tell her that I can possibly get my job back, she agrees to let me stay at her place in the city.( I moved my job to her city while we were together and left after we broke up)
About a couple minutes later after that call, she starts attacking me passive aggressively on her blog. | Broke no contact to get my job back, she starts attacking me,Why is she doing this? |
t3_4vx4zn | tifu | TIFU by accidentally drinking poisonous motor oil | I was working on my wifes small all-wheel drive SUV this weekend. It was a 95 F day with 90% humidity, and I was guzzling water and iced tea all day. I changed the gear oil in the rear differential. The normal color of the special gear oil is a light amber shade, but with 75k miles on this oil, it had changed to a dark cherry-cola color. In order to inspect it, I poured the oil into a emtpy Dr. Pepper plastic bottle, and put it on the work bench for later visual inspection for debris or anything out of the ordinary. Regarding the empty Dr. Pepper bottle- about 6 months ago I went from being a 3 soda a day addict to maybe one a month, in the process dropping 15 lbs. Out of habit I usually have 2-3 emtpy clear plastic bottles saved up for holding automobile fluids for inspection, hence the reason I still had this particular empty bottle. Many hours later, dying of thirst, I spied the Dr. Pepper bottle on the work bench and decided "wow, that would really hit the spot right now". A small part of my brain said "wtf, I do not remember bringing a bottle of Dr. Pepper out to the garage", but the other part of my brain that had been addicted to Dr. Pepper for years said "shut the fuck up and drink it !". I drank it. The moment I took a drink I knew I had fucked up and immediately spit it out- into my teenage sons face who happened to have come out to ask me a question and was in spitting range. I wiped my mouth out with a clean shop rag, ran inside and proceeded to wash my mouth out 5-6 times with dishwashing detergent. Fortunately my son did not get any into his eyes so he just needed to wash his face 2-3 times. - Today I learned that GM Versatrak gear fluid tastes horrible; the phrase "harmful or fatal if swallowed" just might apply to me; and that Dawn dishwashing detergent tastes far better in comparison. - After a visit to the emergency room, I realized my doc had a sense of humor when she quipped "All those times your mom threatened to wash out your mouth with soap, and you finally did it yourself." | Pepper : accidentally tried to poison myself with used gear oil that looked identical to Dr. Pepper, had to get treated in the ER |
t3_4b6xbn | relationships | I [20F] slept with occasional fling [21M], but found out that my friend [20F] liked him. | So, me and this guy have been occasionally sleeping with each other for the past 2 years. By occasional, I mean like every few months. I used to really like him but now, I'm okay with our fling. We have some mutual friends but both of us are pretty private people, so the fling was kept pretty down low.
Last night, a bunch of us went out and I guess we weren't being as private as we used to be (making out on the dance floor). Suddenly, he pulled me aside and told me that one of my friends (20F) used to/maybe still is into him, and she told him a few months ago. This came out of the blue for me. And then he basically put it in my hands to decide whether we should hook up, like he was down if I was down. The mixture of horniness and drunkness drove me to agree to sex.
So I realized I fucked up by sleeping with someone that my friend was into (didn't know when we were making out but I did when we had sex). I feel like I need to apologize to her, but I don't know if she knows I know she liked/likes? him, and she might not appreciate that her privacy was broken. What can I say? What should I do? I really value my friendship with her so I really want to apologize. | Slept with fling, found out that my friend likes him. Realized I fucked up, what can I do/say to her? |
t3_1p5v93 | relationship_advice | [23M] needs support on how to move on from someone you love after they choose something over you. [x/Post /r/relationships] | My girlfriend [19F] of ten months and I recently broke up. It has been a couple of months coming and we were fighting daily and it seems like nothing I did would get through to her.
She began going to clubs without me and met a 35 year old club promoter who began inviting her out right before we hit the breaking point.
Her best friend's aunt owns a famous nightclub in NYC. Said best friend was her counsel during our hard times and they want nothing to do with me so I can't ever attend.
I have not been perfect by any means, I have some very serious issues regarding trust which she knows about, and I tend to be very hurtful when she does something which upsets me.
The promoter I mentioned above began inviting her a lot, and I began to ge
t a little weary letting her go out alone (plus the friend that hates me) with another guy. So I asked her to delete his number. She told me she did.
I realized that was a lie about a week later when I asked her if he was still in her contacts and she said no repeatedly to my face and I discovered him there later on.
She now is completely immersed in a club scene. She's actually on her way there now. And I'm a loser without a girlfriend who's ex left him for parties.
I just need to not let my hatred for what she's done here fade, I get soft and she takes advantage immediately.
Thanks for reading my story | Girl left me for a partying lifestyle, want to either die or firebomb the club.. I won't really, but I need help coping. |
t3_3kggzl | legaladvice | Cheque it out - Last name, Divorce Decree, & Photocopied State ID/Social Security Card | Location: Portland, OREGON
Alright! I hope this belongs here, and if not please direct me to where I need to go. I'll keep it short and sweet because I know your time is precious.
I have a check written in my previous married last name, however my bank account is with my current name so it does not match. I lost the divorce decree papers that the bank says they need for me to deposit it, I have provided them photo copied ID and Social Security of my married name but the insist I need the original paper documents.
I have tried just about everything! I've called vital records but they need the county I got a divorce in and I totally forgot since it was so long ago, my marriage partner is completely ignoring me, they are the one who set up the divorce I just signed the papers.
I just really need to cash this check as it is a large sum and I am in need of serious financial help, I NEED to cash this ASAP. I would have the cheque be rewritten with the proper last name however that could take 3 months and they still need my original papers too. | I need to cash a cheque that is written with a different last name, which means I need to get my divorce decree but I have no idea what county I was divorced in. Please, any help or advice with this would HIGHLY appreciate you don't even know! Thank you in advance for anyone who takes the time out of their busy lives to help another desperate soul. |
t3_q2wvl | AskReddit | I just finished watching 'The Terminal' again! What crazy/funny airport stories do you have Reddit? | Not really at the airport, but just about when the airplane was leaving the terminal. In any case, so everyone is settled in and this guy comes running to his seat and buckles up. Clearly, pissed drunk! As the flight is about to hit the runway, he gets frantic and calls for the stewardess, so we have this pretty looking attendant, asking him what the fuck happened?
This guy says he doesn't have a passport, which gets the lady all worked up. We head back to the terminal, and all this while they help him find the damn passport. They eventually work out he is drunk as fuck, and the passport was in his hand luggage. They find this out just as we reach the terminal!
So while we were waiting, this guy starts making loud sexist jokes about the attendants and abusing other Asian passengers on the flight. This goes on for a while, and gets quite annoying! So one of the passengers, asked him to STFU. Nope! He calms down for about 5 min, and just as we are about to hit the runaway he starts a fucking litany of expletives! The attendant in-charge comes by and warns him again, but this idiot decides to fucking abuse her as well.
So back to the terminal again, and airport security is called! So while we waiting, 4-5 of the passengers, walk up to his seat and beat the fuck out of him! The same attendants were trying to defend him, and asking the passengers to get back to their seats. Airport security comes in, and they get the whole story from the attendants.
After about a minute or so, we have another senior security personnel, telling the passengers that everything's OK but we need to speak with the passengers who hit him.
Nobody says a word but everyone smiles, and he leaves with a smile too.
The awesome part of the whole narrative – this trip was my first on a flight and outside the country! The next few ones were so fucking boring! | – drunk on flight, passenger misbehaves, other passengers beat the shit out of him, my first flight |
t3_2xf1k3 | relationships | Me [29/F] with my friend/or more? [31/M] unclear relationship, sexual tension or genuine affection? | So a few months ago a guy from my past and I got back in touch. We never really dated, never slept together, so it was easy reconnecting and being friends. Lately we've been talking about our dating lives, breakups, etc. without getting into too many details, and recently we started joking about sex, including if we were ever to hook up.
Then he started opening up to me about his sexual past... which I thought was a little strange because it blurs the lines from flirty chit chat to more actual intimacy...
So my question is, obviously the relationship is evolving past "just friends", but is his revealing his sexual history just sexual tension, or is it more about trust and intimacy? | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_503rqu | relationships | My (24/F) boyfriend (25/M) came inside me even though I told him to pull out. | My boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year. We've been been having sex for longer than that. Going by the title I know it doesn't seem this way, but he's a really good person. We're very good at communicating things to each other, with words, actions and whatever else. Sexually speaking he knows my limits. He knows my preferences. The same is true vice versa.
Two weeks ago, though, he and I were having sex in his car ... regrettably without a condom ... and he came inside me without asking. He's never come inside me before, not without me telling him to. In fact he always waits and asks for what I'm comfortable with. Just so you know, I'm not on birth control at the moment, and I told him that earlier in the night when he said he didn't have a condom. We agreed he would pull out, which I know isn't safe still, but it's better than not pulling out.
I took a test, quite a few actually, and although I'm not pregnant, I now feel at odds with my boyfriend. He did something he shouldn't have done. He usually shows immense control when it comes to ejaculating. He obviously knows when it's approaching, but he went ahead and came inside me anyway and now I don't know how I feel about our relationship. It *could* have been a mistake but it was a big one, and although he and I have discussed it (he's sorry and he was equally if not more worried about the consequences) I don't know if I can comfortably have sex with him again. He broke my trust in a major way.
Am I overreacting? | boyfriend came inside me even though I told him to pull out. He panicked just as much as me but now I don't know if I can have sex with him and trust him in that way again. Am I overreacting? Will this pass? |
t3_4dfthg | relationships | Me [24M] with my gf [21F] of 5 months - My trust issues even worse now | Please read my first post [here](
Well it just got worse.
A few months ago she told me about some guy she hung out with just as friends, lets say his name is Chris. She said she and Chris were just friends, because at the time she was indeed in a relationship with Fred.
She split with Fred because things weren't working out.
Anyway, I was on my gf's laptop and saw screenshots of her talking to some guy along with a Skype screenshot of her talking to him on video camera, named Chris, in an explicit sexual manner, dated at the same time she was going out with her Ex Fred.
This is a massive red flag to me, what's stopping her from doing the same to me? Should I approach her about it? I know she will get mad for me invading her privacy (even though we both have access to each others things, and these pics were literally in her 'My pictures' folder so its not like I read all her emails and invaded her privacy.) I know she is just going to deny it. I cant deal with that kind of of emotional trauma if she ever did that to me. Thoughts please. | Found out my current GF was talking to other guys in a sexual manner when she was still with her ex, how to proceed? |
t3_224hdc | relationships | I [15 M] need advice on getting over my ex-girlfriend [15 F] whom I dated for nine months | It has been about 8 months since my eighth grade girlfriend and I broke up, and I am having a significant amount of trouble moving on.
My ex first caught my eye in sixth grade, and we became very close that year, which eventually lead to a romantic relationship. Right before seventh grade we broke up, and stopped talking for a few months. Towards the end of seventh we rekindled our relationship, and ended up dating again for the majority of my eighth grade year.
Our relationship in eighth grade was by no means perfect, as we both had serious issues communicating a lot of our feelings to one another. Ironically, she was incredibly easy to talk to, which is the reason I think it has been such a hassle to get over her. The two of us connected on a very deep level emotionally, so naturally our breakup was pretty hard on me from the beginning (it was mutual, and due to too much distance during summertime). But it seems as if every month it gets worse and worse.
Right after we broke up I made a HUGE mistake and hooked up with her best friend. Her best friend and I continued to have an on and off thing for a couple of months, until I called it off completely. In this time, I tried to initiate a new friendship with my ex on multiple occasions, but it never worked out, due to various conflicts.
Now I find myself, once again, longing for my ex. It seems hopeless trying to get over her, but I know I have to. I really just need some advice on how I should go about doing that.
Another thing that may be contributing to this difficulty is that a few of my closest friends are obsessed with my ex and talk about her A LOT, so advice on dealing with that would be helpful as well. | I am having a hard time moving past my ex-girlfriend as well as the regrets I have from all the mistakes I made both during and after our relationship. I want to know how I can get over a girl that I had such a unique and deep emotional connection with, and how to deal with some of my closest friends being obsessed with her. |
t3_4cw5ba | relationships | Me [20 F] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 6 months, she got the job I wanted. | Hello,
I wanted to put this across to get some outside view and help from strangers. So my girlfriend and I applied for the same job quite a bit ago but since then we have been told that she got the job and I didn't.
Now I understand that she is very well suited for it and I'm honestly really happy for her since she has the best personality suited to the said job but I can't help feel a bit sad and bitter on the inside since I was the one who brought up the possibility of getting this job in the first place. I now feel jealous of her since she will be gone for a while and will have amazing stories to tell and also make the money also.
So /r/relationships how do I get over this feeling and feel better about myself? I really love her and she's amazing and she is so deserving of this job.
Thank you | my girlfriend got the job, I didn't and I feel jealous. How can I help myself? |
t3_o59vi | AskReddit | I do not know what to do about my boyfriend.. Help, Reddit. | So.. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. We are both in college, graduating soon, and have always been a serious couple. I am his first girlfriend ever and he's never so much as kissed anyone else, as opposed to me having more experience. I feel like the next step is marriage, but I am extremely hesitant, not solely because of his lack of experience either. You always hear "when you know, you know," as in you are sure when you've met "the one." At times, I am really sure, but there's always a hinderance of doubt and I don't know what this means. Reddit, should I listen to this doubt at all? | Serious boyfriend. Some doubt whether he's the one or not. What to do? |
t3_3f5hv2 | relationship_advice | He (24M) still has pictures, and I'm(24f) assuming masturbates to, his ex girlfriend | We've been dating for about two and a half years. We live together outside our home town away from both our families. He spent his whole life savings getting me up here and has been a great boyfriend with minor bumps in the road.
The first time I saw the pictures I was devastated, this ex of his cheated on him and strung him along for a long time before he caught her. They had dated all through high school, and he's had 3 girlfriends his whole life (I'm the third) so I know he's the type to get really attached to his girls. He assured me he hadn't looked at them for awhile and that he would delete them immediately (and showed me as he deleted them). I felt bad for snooping.
The next time I caught wind of the pictures I was more angry than anything. See, the pictures are on his Google drive and I looked through his "recent" list, there they were, also further looking at the information details, they had been deleted then restored the very next day. I did not confront him about this because I was very ashamed at myself for snooping especially when I had told him I wouldn't do it anymore. I asked him casually about the pictures and if he deleted or knew how to restore pictures, he "assured" me they were gone and he didn't even know how to restore them.
Today I snooped again, and I don't know what to do at this point. I'm mad at both of us, the pictures had been looked at again YESTERDAY along with a bunch of random hentai I know he doesn't want me to know he's in to (I could care less but he's sensitive)
The pictures I'm talking about are hundreds.. Of screen shots of old Skype calls, videos, folder after folder.. Things I never wanted to see.
I KNOW he's not cheating on me, but I feel like my trust has been betrayed. On the other hand, I have lied to him by snooping yet again, do the ends justify the means? Do I confront him yet again? How will I know he's not lying? | bf has hundreds of photos of masturbating ex gf that he lied about deleting twice, that I found by snooping when I told him I wouldn't anymore. |
t3_2pm16m | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] duration, 2 years, 3 months | I've been with what has seemed to be the perfect girl, but oh, wait. I'm only 17. I've been with my girl, Tristam, for a good long while. I enjoy every day we spend together, it's like being complete. Just having that best friend and girlfriend all in one. We sit around and watch Youtubers, movies, play games. When we have the money, we will go on dates.
In this time we've been together, there was one break up. She didn't know what she wanted, freedom or me. I am not a big party goer, or drinker. We smoke weed pretty much every day and I've stuck with weed because I have an alcoholic father, so you know that story.
she also has an ex, Kyle. Just hearing that name infuriates me. When she chose me over all of that, I told her if she was to ever talk to Kyle again, we'd be over with. She began talking to him recently, didn't tell me either. I found out today, had a panic attack. Imagine, putting that much of your teenage life into one girl and she ruins that by shitting on your trust.
I called her and she said that she hasn't been cheating on me, she just wants to be friends with him. I simply don't want any sort of contact between the two. It kills me. So, I see a few options here. Leave her, talk more, or compromise. | More than anything I don't want a compromise, I wouldn't be happy at all in the relationship. A relationship needs trust and the happiness of the two. She ruined both, should I give her this last chance or just say fuck it, fuck you? |
t3_47l6ou | tifu | TIFU by accidentally launching a DoS attack on my school | This FU actually happened a couple hours ago, and it's a pretty bad one.
**A little backstory:**
I go to a fairly large high school (~3,000+ students) that assigns iPads to all students. This obviously strains the WiFi enough already, but on top of that our tech department is now entirely made up of volunteer teachers after the last IT guy quit this year. Ever since he left, our WiFi has been noticeably more unreliable. Not unusable, just some slight packet loss.
Now, between the internet and the LAN is a content filter. This blocks sites such as imgur, tumblr, 4chan (obviously), iFunny, and others that some of my peers enjoy. I've dabbled enough in their network that I know that the filter server is at a different address than their domain controller and WiFi authentication server.
**The Fuck-Up:**
So, I loaded up NMap today to see if I could find the SSH port they use, and run a scan. Now, the first fuck-up is that when I started the scan, I set it to "intense" instead of "regular."
The second fuck-up is that I didn't put the filter's address in the box, I put the domain controller's.
So the scan gets about 60% done and suddenly the internet cuts out. I'm thinking I overloaded my own laptop or something, but then everyone starts complaining that the internet is down. I turn on my phone's hotspot and try to get to the school's website externally, but it's returning an NXDOMAIN error.
I check my scan's settings and realize my fuck-up. **I basically just Denial-of-Service attacked the domain controller for the entire school district.**
The reason the controller couldn't handle the traffic was because there were already so many devices connected.
Everywhere, people are talking about how the school's internet is down, and at lunch we had to [write our lunch codes down] on paper instead of typing on the keypad. Tomorrow we have parent-teacher conferences as well, so teachers are trying to enter in grades. This will probably be seen as an intentional attack. | Tried to open up the school WiFi for everyone, ended up doing exactly the opposite. |
t3_3e5si4 | relationships | My[20F] family has been constantly questioning my boyfriend [23M] of four and a half years when we're going to get married. I feel like he may run for the hills. | In 2010 I began hanging out with my now boyfriend, John, pretty often -at least twice a week. By 2011 we began to have feelings for each other I met his family and he met mine. In March my father passed away john was there to help me through it. A few months later john and I officially started dating it was a big deal to me that he was able to meet my dad.
Fast forward to 2012 his grandmother -his best friend- passes away and I was there for him and his family. He tells me how much she liked me and thought I was a good fit for the family.
Within the past year one of my cousins has had a baby and another met her partner and got married in a six month span. John and I joke that we should be married with six children based on how quick my cousins are.
John graduated university this year and now has an awesome job but he will have to move out of state early next year for more than half a year. Because of this I think everyone is holding their breath for him to pop the question, I mean the subject comes up during any family gathering.
He and I have talked about our future. I told him that if he does want to marry me he has to ask my mom and grandparents first. We've looked at wedding rings and what we would make our entrance song. And we've talked about baby names. Then comes last night and he says he won't marry me until I finish school. And we move in together. This sort of hurt my feelings seeing as that I won't finish school for another 2 years. And the part that hurt wasn't that we won't be married but that I won't even be asked. And by that point my grandparents may not be here to be apart of it. I'm not really sure how to handle this do I drop it like he has or try to talk about it. | Boyfriend and I have been with each other through deaths in our families and births. Now my family and I are wondering if we're going to get married. He tells me not for another two years at least this hurts my feelings because my grandparents ( who he is suppose to ask permission from) may not be around then. |
t3_25mr6z | relationships | My SO [22 M] and I [21 F] relationship completely destroyed but I always catch myself coming back | We've been together for about 3 1/2 years now. We are in long distance about 700 miles away. He's always been very controlling/manipulative about a lot of things. Doesn't like when I go out or hang with friends, hold a conversation with guys who are my friends, etc.
Things hit rock bottom when we both ended up cheating on each other. I slept with someone while he slept with 3 girls. After coming to me and telling me he felt bad, he confessed his 'love' towards me and all. However, I found out he was still hooking up with one of the girls from before and I believe still is even though he tells me he doesn't. My gut just gives me a feeling it's still going on.
I find it really hard to let go because since it is long distance, things could be a lot different between us if we could be together more. That's why I'm always coming back to him. However, after something like this happened, I don't know if things will ever change.
I don't want to continue to live my life being paranoid and in fear that this stuff will continue to happen while he plays with my head. How can I just learned to move on with my life without him? | Relationship 3 1/2 years, both cheated. He continued/continues to sleep with the one girl after saying how much he loves/cares about me. I want to let go but just don't know how. |
t3_20uzmx | relationships | Me [23 M], my ex [22 F] packed up and left me for nothing | I have been dating my now, ex for 2 years. We have had our ups and downs but I definitely feel I have done alot to correct the things she didn't like. She cheated on me one time and I frogave for it even though it was a shitty reason, I just loved her so much.
So basically, one day she just calls me and tells me she wants to break up from out of the blue. She just said she had a weird feeling about us but could not put a finger on it yet she made the decision to just end it. I was baffled and hurt and whenever I asked her for a reason why she just said she didn't know and that something was off. I feel like I was pretty much broken up with for nothing. I did everything for her, each time a problem arose I addressed it immediately.
I feel like shit and get really angry when trying to speak to her about it as everytime her answer is she is unsure why she broke up with me. If she had given me a reason I could live with it but I cannot stand the fact that she has no reason besides it feels weird. I feel like she just left me for nothing. | My Ex broke up with for apparently no reason except she was feeling weird. She cannot give me a straight answer as to why she left me. I did everything and then some for her and I feel like I just got bullshitted. |
t3_plbr5 | relationships | boyfriend may have issues with my fraternity | Throwaway account because boyfriend is also redditor.
I am f/22 and boyfriend is same age. We have been together for 2 years now. I am in a co-ed fraternity and I'm worried my boyfriend is uneasy about some of the stuff we do. My fraternity is probably 2/3 male and 1/3 female, and we are all engineers. For example, we like to throw kickbacks at each other places so I enjoy doing some brotherly bonding that includes drinking. I think my SO may be jealous even though he tells me that he is not the jealous type. I was in the fraternity before we met so I figured he would understand that we do have parties. We go to school in different cities so we don't see each other as much as we like, maybe 2 weekends in a month if we are lucky. He was also angry at me for not telling him that I went clubbing with them during our annual retreat until I got back from it which was the day after. I went with 10 girls including me and only 3 guys. My previous boyfriend broke up with me, partially because I was in the fraternity which is why I tried to make it clear to him that I was in one when we started out.
In the beginning when he was able to hang out for longer periods, I invited him to some of our parties and dinner thing and he enjoyed hanging out with everyone. Now that he's been concentrating on school, he's not around to partake in a lot of the events.
So reddit, how do I make my boyfriend more comfortable about it? I've told him that they are just my brothers and I have no intentions of dating any other guys. Also, how can I get him to feel less angry when I want to go out and do stuff with them? This is my last year at college so I want to make the most of it in case I move far away for work. | boyfriend doesn't seem to like that I go out with my fraternity and makes me feel guilty that he can't go sometimes since he goes to a different school. |
t3_4ckbrb | relationships | Im [28m] a lot more attractive now than when I first met girlfriend [29f] of 3 years. Play the field or stay in relationship? | When I met Amber I was skinnyfat and broke. Fast forward to today and my career has taken off beyond my wildest dreams. Im making craploads of money. Last summer a bodybuilder friend of mine introduced me to HGH and steroids. Ive done a few cycles since and my body is amazing.
I get A LOT of attention from women. Which is bittersweet as I used to be treated like I was nonexistant. Horny thoughts bombard my mind all day.
My gf Amber has pretty much stayed the same as when I met her. Shes not very ambitious and average in looks. I feel comfortable around her but I have this strong urge to see what else is out there, all those sexual opportunities I didnt have before are here now... but I also feel guilty and selfish thinking this way.
And I feel worse knowing that a year ago we were planning to possibly get married and start a family. My parents like her and her parents adore me. I get along with her siblings etc. It would suck to have to build all that up again.
But still... | Who I am has changed dramatically since I met my gf. Wondering if I should break up with her and see what else is out there. What would you do? |
t3_2i8s7m | tifu | TIFU by quoting a movie. | This happened back when I was a Junior in high school.
All growing up I was a history nut, from the ages of 5-20 I wanted to be a history teacher and that is what I spend most of my free time working towards. By my Junior year of high school I had already amassed quite a lot of knowledge and was your typical know it all when it came to history.
My junior year of HS rolls around and I am in AP US History and our teacher is dark skinned, she may have been black, I can't remember. One day we are talking about race relations in the US and the topic of Affirmative Action comes up. As my teacher goes on to describe it and sees if anyone knows what she is talking about I blurt out "Oh yeah, Affirmative Blacktion." For those who aren't aware of what that is from, it is a quote from American History X. I immediately turn bright red
and stammer "uh uh sorry that was from a movie." Everyone else in the class had the classic glazed over look that kids get in history so no one said a word but my teacher was never friendly to me after that. | referred to Affirmative Action as Affirmative Blacktion in front of my black teacher. |
t3_3ax76s | relationships | Would it be ride if me (25/F) and my SO went to the fair alone while visiting family? | Me and my SO are going to visit my family in another state, I visit about once a year for around a month at a time, but this will be my SO's first time he's been able to visit in like 5 years! He will only be staying for 10 days while I stay the remainder of the month.
Anyways there is this state fair that I always used to go to as a child, and it conveniently falls on the days me and my SO will be visiting.
I'd absolutely love to go but my sister is already saying she doesn't want to go, and my parents can't go because they are old.
Do you think it would be horrible if me and my SO went alone? I feel guilty because it would probably be a whole day event, and we'd be leaving my family behind, and it's my family we came to visit.......but......the fairrrrrrrrrrr.
What to do? | Too lazy to write here. |
t3_2rs60p | relationships | I [19M] think I got manipulated by girlfriend [19F] of two years... | Yesterday I posted here with a different account some of the things my girlfriend does which I think are wrong; everyone that commented agreed with what some of my friends had already told me, that she is emotionally abusive.
Last night I went to her house and I got in trouble for "not replying quick enough or putting enough effort into my replies"
This prompted me to bring up some of the stuff that I had issues with, mainly her saying things to me like "Oh are you going home to talk to your other girlfriend?" and also about her going through my private messages.
She could tell I was very angry and I honestly felt like ending the relationship then, anyway we put on a movie and watched it in silent then she started saying things like "You don't have to be with me" "I'd kill myself if you left me" "I bet you can't give me a good reason as to why I shouldn't just die" shit like that...
She then wanted to have make up sex and so we had sex, but for some reason I felt really guilty about it? I felt like it was just sex with no emotions or feelings.
I stayed there over night but honestly just wanted to come home the whole night, I really don't know what to do... I don't know if I should end the relationship or not? Or how to go about it? | First serious relationship, no idea how to react to what's happening. |
t3_14komj | relationships | How do I end an FWB relationship? | So I (21M) have been friends with this chick (20F) for a 4 months now. A few weeks ago we got drunk and hooked up and have been hooking up just about every time we've gotten drunk since. Its starting to get weird now and for many reasons I decided its time to end the sex part of our relationship. The problem is shes really cool and I like being friends with and hanging out with her. How can I cut off the sex without ruining our friendship? I don't want to be a dick about it but I know I don't want to hook up anymore. | I want to stop hooking up with a friend and go back to being just friends. |
t3_3ooa1h | relationships | I [22F] think my husband [23M] of 1.5 years just told me that I took his virginity. Not sure how I feel | No earth shattering relationship drama here, but I'm confused. When my husband and I met, we had sex after about a week. He told me that he hadn't had sex in about 4/5 years. As we got to know each other better, I asked him more about his sex life, because I like sharing this kind of stuff. He said that he'd slept with two girls before me (in HS). He also said that sex with them was awkward, especially with his ex gf from High School, because she was very religious.
We've always had a great sex life. He seemed a little inexperienced/rusty in the beginning, but he's great and always takes charge.
So it took me by surprise when I learned today that I gave him his first bj. He was joking around, saying that I'm the nicest girl ever and the only girl who's ever given him a bj. I was shocked. I didn't know that. I asked more about his sex experiences in HS because now I was curious. Well, aparently he's only had sex with one girl, but he was ashamed to admit that to me so he said it was two. Also, this one girl only wanted to have anal sex with him, because she was religious, and I guess she thought that that wouldn't piss god off as much. My husband says that they only had sex a handful of times, and that it was awkward and 'forced' (not as in non-consensual, just with no passion.
I feel really weird about this - did I take his virginity then? Is it okay if I'm a little annoyed, because it feels like he lied to me? I just feel superweird about this. Of course not like 'I want a divorce!' W
weird, just weird. | = husband didn't have PIV sex till he met me. I feel weird because he didn't tell me/lied/witheld the truth. How should I look at this situation? |
t3_3e93ld | Advice | Am I wrong and unfair? | Recently I started talking CASUALLY to an ex of mine. We see each other every other day so it became awkward so I cleared the air. Yesterday, we went on this big rant on how he missed me and wants to be with me and said he loves me... I said no to a second chance cause I don't trust him ( he's a cheater. I LOATHE cheaters) and he said I'm not being fair and giving him a second chance. That I'm obligated (!) in giving him a second chance. Am I in the wrong and should I give him a second chance? I understand everybody deserves a second chance but I fear of being hurt again by him. | Ex boyfriend wants a second chance and I refuse due to my trust issues. Am I being unfair? |
t3_546ohb | legaladvice | [CA] Possible consequences of welfare shenanigans. | Several months ago, my wife and I had a large fight which resulted in my expulsion from the home via restraining order for 10 weeks. I have since resolved (most) of the issues with my wife, but one thing continues to plague both of us.
While I was out of the home, she filed the necessary paperwork to begin receiving benefits from the State. This included CalWorks, a cash benefit, as well as CalFresh, effectively food stamps. She also is receiving assistance for tuition and books at school.
When she signed up for everything, she truthfully advised the social worker that we had 2 kids, and that she was making zero income. The benefits she is receiving were calculated based on those figures.
Now that I am back home, she is terrified that she is going to get into trouble for taking unauthorized benefits. She told them as soon as I moved back in that I was there, but at the time, we were still working out what would happen with out relationship, and I moved back in purely to avoid having to pay rent at two locations. Nesting is the term, I believe.
To this day, our relationship is still strained, and we still fight. So much so that she has expressed to me that she still has moments of doubt about where we are going. That is something for /r/relationships though. What I'm wondering is what kind of trouble she could get in to, if any? She has admitted to the social worker that I am back in the house, but I don't know if she formally filed any paperwork alerting them to the change in status. The circumstances regarding our relationship are the same now as they were then: I live there, and we are amicable, but we are more roommates than partners. | My wife started receiving benefits while I was kicked out of the house, and now I've moved back in. The State was informed, but took no action at the time. What kind of trouble could she get into? |
t3_1m9mse | AskReddit | Crime-solvers of Reddit help me to spot/stop a thief. | Okay so in my army unit there seem to be a lot of robberies going on during the evening. People have lost their wallets, keys, phones and even earphones.
What I need is a pattern to track him down / catch him and subsequently refer him to my superiors.
My most promising lead is a daily list (containing roughly 50 soldiers) of who sleeps inside the unit each night (since we are based close to our home every soldier sleeps inside the camp once every two nights or so) then find what days these past few months property has been stolen and compare the two.
The only problem is that to gain access to the list as well as to who was robbed when, I need permission from my officer and since I am not an expert in crime solving I d appreciate extra tips and suggestions so I can present a more solid case and catch him
My thought is after reaching down to just 2 or 3 soldiers set a bait with my iPhone (leave it somewhere easy to be spotted) and have both an outside friend tracking it on the map to observe movements, but also have a soldier who will be supposedly sleeping but carefully watching from a distance and nail him.
Here it is then... Any suggestion is deeply appreciated.
P.s.1 People have tried searching for their phones online, but with no luck.
P.s.2 I seriously doubt the thief will have access to this information since almost no one in my country has even heard of reddit.
P.s.3 there is chance that there might be more than one perpetrators so this complicates things even more. | someone is stealing things from our unit and I want to track him down! |
t3_r95y1 | AskReddit | My SO and I babysit a friend's kids while she works, she accused us of bruising her 2 month old son. What would you do? | Just like the title says. We've known her for about two years, she used to live next door. She has a 5 year old son and a 2 month old son. The 5 year old can be a hellraiser but he's a good kid. The 2 month old is..a baby. He does baby stuff. He's pretty relaxed, unlike a lot of babies I've seen. Doesn't cry a lot, etc. We treat him with kid gloves, obviously. He's a baby. We're gentle.
Tonight, she calls and says to me, "I hate to lose a babysitter but there's a bruise on the baby's back that wasn't there yesterday."
This pissed me off, and I repeated what she said back to her, absolutely shocked and confused. I then handed the phone to my SO, who asked her a few questions, then hung up. She called the woman back a few minutes later, explaining that we were both very offended that she would accuse us like that. She claimed that she didn't mean to make it an accusation, and now that she's thought more about it, she thinks it happened when she put him in the sink for his bath, that the sink stopper might have done it.
What would you do? Would you keep babysitting? Would you tell her to find someone else? | friend accuses us of bruising her baby while we were babysitting, then backs down when confronted, what would you do? |
t3_hkgyu | AskReddit | Marijuana and the law, how should I react? | I smoked a joint with my friend around 11 near the canal. It was a secluded area with good visibility so we could dispose and pull out cigarettes if need be. Everything went fine, but as we were walking back, we passed by a lamp-post and out of a box on the top, a recorded message played and said something like:
"You have been photographed doing illegal activities, you photo has been recorded and you will be prosecuted, please leave the premises now..."
Turns out we were accoss the water from an apartment building... I guess it was their land and they must have had a camera. Was the recorded message just used to scare us away? or could there be consequences? | after smoking weed, a friend and I were yelled at by a box on top of a pole telling us we were photographed, will be prosecuted and should leave. |
t3_g1qqz | AskReddit | Help reddit, my computer was hacked | Hey reddit,I've been browsing reddit for over a year now and never bothered to make an account but I have a question. One of my friends sent me a file and then I opened it and it said "error 000x" and my anti-virus went crazy. Then I was browsing and my drive kept opening by itself and the camera turned on :S. Then a message popped up saying "whattup dawg?". I ran netstat and it said that a computer called "akmei" was connected. My regedit and task manager were disabled along with anti virus and security center and i couldnt shut down so I pulled the plug, put it into safe mode and I ran a system restore to yesterday.
How do I know that he still isn't watching my desktop and whatnot? Task manager runs fine now as does everything else. How do I 100% know that he can't do this again. Obviosuly I won't accept anything from him again but how do I know that he won't remote desktop me in a week from now. | Someone hacked my computer and I need to know that its safe. |
t3_25eodt | relationships | my [m 22] gf [f 20] has started texting her old hookup again | Recently, my gf has started messaging and snapchatting her old hookup again. She's about to head away for the school summer break and it's bothering me that she's talking with him so much. I asked her about it and she said I should just trust her and that she loves me and not him. Is it unreasonable for me to be this agitated ? She says he's just her friend but they've only met once and hooked up. | Gf is talking with an old hookup and making me anxious. |
t3_12wee4 | AskReddit | What can you do to help (or stop feeling hopeless about the inability able to help) a parent that is heartbreakingly depressed? | I just got off a fairly long phone conversation with my mom and she broke down crying (which resulted in me doing the same). This is not an abnormal thing, for as long as I can remember my mother has always been a very emotional person with scars from her past (alcoholic father, death of a sibling + parents, sexual abuse, etc.) that cries often. She recently left my father for about a year and returned. She has picked up drinking wine which she had never done before. When I brought this up to her tonight on the phone, she started crying and said it's because she feels alone. This led to her saying that she feels stupid ("all of you kids are so smart") and that she can't do anything. She has extremely low self confidence and it breaks my heart. She has been convinced that my father doesn't love her, help her, care about her, for years. I could go on and on.
All of my friends, along with the friends of my siblings, loved my mother to death growing up. She is extremely generous and loving but deep down I worry that she doesn't know how to find that happiness, self-fulfillment and peace and this worries me. I feel so helpless and I couldn't stop crying after I got off the phone with her because I don't know what there is to do. | My mom is depressed and has extremely low self-esteem. What can I do to help her? |
t3_1p4yp9 | loseit | A lot lost and now I'm a little lost. | I've been lurking in loseit for a while (25/M/5'10) and have been using it to get motivation and tips from others to help me find success with my own weight loss. I have something to share which was my motivation for loosing weight and now has put me in a place where I need some help.
About a year ago I met someone online. I had a few dates with this person until he told me how great and wonderful I was but he decided to see someone else. The positioning of his rejection seemed to me that he was rejecting me for my weight, which was 242 at the time.
Over the course of the last year I have dropped my weight to 180 for a 62lb loss. I was happy with myself even though I could still be more little in the middle.
I decided to try dating again and met someone who I found great comfort being around and to be a wonderful person in general. Things were progressing along swimmingly until recently. After a great date in the park with dinner and drinks things started heating up. About ten minutes in he stopped, looked at me with the saddest face, and said, "I'm not physically attracted to you and I don't want to continue this relationship." I was crushed. We talked for about an hour afterwords. As far as breakups go it couldn't have gone better. He said something that resonated with me. He said it more delicately but the gist of it was "I think you are attractive but I can't get passed your body."
Now to what brings me here. I've been working hard to get to this point in my weight loss. I just started yoga and have been feeling great. The end of this wonderful romance has made me question myself and my body. I'm disappointed in myself for not trying harder or not seeking out help when I needed it. I have some lack of motivation today for a combination of having my love life snuffed out in a single sentence and a disappointment with my body. I don't know where to go from here. | I got rejected for being overweight. I literally worked my ass off (-62lbs) only to be rejected for the same reason a year later and now I'm struggling to find a direction and motivation. |
t3_13w51w | legaladvice | BK, Relief from Stay, and Selling the Loan | Here is a situation I've come across and am interested to hear about the legal ramifications. Not looking for "official" legal advice, just thoughts on the situation.
BK declared in 2011. The bank obtained a relief from stay in April 2012 and since that time Borrower has been calling them trying to get the ball rolling on the foreclosure process. Borrower's ex is unwilling to do a Short-Sale or work toward a DIL for some reason; they are now officially divorced and the only alternative (because it's the only one she is willing to move forward on) is foreclosure.
Borrower just found out that the bank has sold his loan to another bank. The process is likely to start all over again with "what can we do to modify this loan for you" and that will take months to wade through. Good times.
My question is this: If the Borrower's old bank was the one who pursued the relief from stay under the terms of the BK, can that relief from stay just be essentially transferred to the new bank and new servicer? I understand that the relief from stay allows the old bank the ability to pursue options with respect to moving forward with foreclosure, but can they just sell the troubled loan to another company with the relief from stay in place? | BK, relief from stay obtained by old bank. Old bank sells loan to new bank. Relief from stay still in place? |
t3_i4sb0 | AskReddit | Is it bad form to only order water at the bar? | I keep a pretty active social life as of late, which involves a lot of going out to bars, in particular to a local dive where I've gotten to know the regulars well. I don't want to change the socializing, but I'm also approaching 30, and feeling that I need to take some steps towards bettering my health. Don't get me wrong, I love going out and drinking and everything, but alcohol isn't that conductive to my current goals. I've been looking at the keto diet lately, and I've read that drinking while on that diet can be pretty painful, so I'd prefer to attempt sobriety; getting a coke or something in lieu of beer isn't ideal either, because of the carbs.
Is it really a huge social faux-pas to hang out and not drink? Would it be smart to still toss the bartender a couple bucks at the end of the night for his/her trouble (I know most of the bartenders at the establishment I frequent, and know they only make money from tips)? | Can I keep my social life while improving my waistline? |
t3_1kna2q | relationships | How do I [21/M/Gay] tell my straight roommate [25/M] that I care about him? | I'm 21, gay and have been living with two straight male roommates for over a year now. One of them [25/M] I've grown really close to. He's a lot like me (introverted, works in tech) and one of the few people in my life who I really care about.
I've thought about my feelings a lot and discussed them with my therapist. I'm not romantically interested in him (he's definitely not my type), however I do have feelings of some kind. I care about him a lot and wish we were closer than we are.
How do I express this to him without seeming weird? I'd like him to know that I care and hopefully get some feedback from him about where I stand, as he's hard to read. | How to tell my straight roommate I care about him? |
t3_4a4pbi | relationships | I [20M] wanted a break with my GF [ 19f] of 1.2 years, now I need help to get her back | My gf and I had broken up about a month ago for constant fighting to, IMO over pretty mundane stuff. We hadn't fought before then really, but we are at different schools about 5 hours apart and the distance finally got to us.
Initially it was just a break, she needed space and so did I. However, I tried to reconcile things last week. She said she didn't want to do distance, saying it made her always miss me and held her back socially. But kept sending mixed signals like she wants to date in the summer around may and how she still feels about me. The discussion ended on poorer terms than I would of wanted. Largely due to me.
I don't know what to do. I personally can't take a pause, I feel like Ill lose the intimacy we had and maybe even her. She's has gone the entire year but bails when we are so close to being together for the summer.
Should I continue giving her space for a few more weeks then speak to her again? If so what line should I take? I don't want to sound desperate. | had break with GF after fighting too much over long distance. She does but doesn't want to get back together. Not really in contact with her. Ended on poor terms. |
t3_29wwdv | relationships | I [19F] tend to go into a depressive state whenever I am apart from my SO [19M]. | My SO and I have been together for 5+ years and whenever he leaves I go into a depressive state. I should mention that he and I are long distance most of the year because of university; just at home for the summer. He is leaving for vacation for about a week and although I know it's only a week, I feel like a dog who thinks their owner has died. I want to be happy and distracted during this time. At university it's very difficult, but after a few weeks I can get use to it. I'm going to try to hang out with my best friend most of the time. Any other advice to kick this feeling once and for all? | I get depressed when I'm away from my SO. Advice for distraction and happiness? |
t3_3aejuh | tifu | TIFU by waking up in the middle of the night for a drink. | So this happened last night and I'm still fucking furious. Ive been dating this girl for a few months and she lives with me. Things have been going smooth or so i thought. SO last night being i had the late night thirst i wake to see my driveway light on, which isn't uncommon as my gf is a night owl and smokes out side. I grab my glass and peek and the door to see what shes up to. Low and fucking behold there's some strange dude in my driveway with his cock in my gf's mouth. Now i figured if this was unwanted she would have pushed away. Oh no, I watched in horror as she sucked this dude dry while he fucking filmed it. I cant even fucking comprehend the events that took place last night. | went for midnight drink, and saw my gf servicing a random stranger in my drive way |
t3_1528ek | relationships | Please tell me i am doing the right thing here? | Me boy 21 here girl 20
Been together for 4 years now , the first year at age 17 we both cheated on each other , then one year went good , then one year in the army where we hade a long distance realtionship (skype) , she broke up whit me 2 times that year over the phone. then i came back and lived at here perents house for six months and then moved out in a shitty apartment on a farm cuz she got here horses there and i hate the place now after moving here and it has now gon six months , and in that last year she has broken up whit me 5 times.
but when she breaks up whit me it gos like this every time , she gets mad , breaks up , i say ok , then she realise that she actually CAN loose me and begin to sweet talk , play the i'm sick card,talk about how its going to be difrent and then have sex.
the girl is cool , she smokes weed whit me , she love to game , and is cind of nerdy , cute and fucks like a god.
But am very atheist like and she is down whit healing and shit.
She is bad as fuck whit oconnomy , dont hve a real job , and is compleatly uncapebal of cleaning up after here.
but im so so tierd of the breaking up stuff and now i have had enough , but i dont have the bals to say "i want to break up" .Are realy sceard of what to do next , so mouch history whit here family , where can i move? , how is it beeing single?
am i right ending this?? | ! Me M21 GF20 , 4 years rollercoaster relationship , am i right ending it? |
t3_2mx7ce | relationships | Me [24 M] with my maybe now ex [21 F] less than a year, just a general quick question. | This wont take long, ill give a brief summary of the relationship and then ask the question, I think this is the right subreddit, if not my apologies.
We have been "together" for around 8 months now, we dont see much of each other because she is busy so much (she has a kid and a very busy job). She said I was her boyfriend fairly early on but we havent seen much of each other so Ive never really felt it.
So basically in 8 months ive seen her twice. I think you can see why I never really felt it.
Anyway the question: earlier today we were talking about this kind of thing and she doesnt think its fair to me to "have" to wait even though I said im okay with that.
She suggested having a "break" and thats something Ive never encountered before. I went along with it because I striaght out told her that if she wanted to end it I would respect her choice and I meant that, I really have a lot of respect for her intelligence.
I get what it means, she wants to be apart for a month or two (her words) and then see how we feel, but given how we almost never see each other this seems more to me like a break up than anything. Am I wrong in thinking that?
Cause this sounds to me like just a very slow way for her to break things off. | Girlfriend I rarely see wants to go on a "break". Am I right in thinking that she is just breaking up with me in slow motion? |
t3_2h22s4 | relationships | [update] Longtime best friend (F28) is cutting me (M28) out of her life | [Original post](
This is from a while ago but I'm bored and figured I'd get some opinions on it. So I was on Facebook when I noticed Jane had changed her profile picture to one of her and her mother. I remembered her saying (while we were still talking) that her mother wasn't doing well and just as I had assumed, I went to her page and saw that her mother had passed away.
I did what I thought was best and sent her a text and here's how the conversation went:
Me: Hey Jane. I wanted to offer my condolences for your mom's passing. I'm sorry to hear that she's gone but glad that she isn't suffering anymore. If you'd like someone to talk to I'm around.
Jane: How did you know my mom passed away?
M: I was in my messages on Facebook and I saw that your profile picture was of your mom. I remembered you saying that she wasn't doing well and I checked your profile.
J: Oh, I was just wondering.
M: Again I'm sorry to hear that but hopefully she's in a better place now. Let me know if I can do anything please.
J: There isn't anything I need.
M: Okay.
J: What did you expect me to say?
M: I didn't expect any answer specifically, just letting you know I'm here.
And it was left at that. Originally I felt that it was good she was talking to me, but since then I feel like I probably crossed the line, even if my intentions were genuine. | I attempted to console Jane considering her mother's recent passing, questioning her reaction to it |
t3_40euch | relationships | Me [19 M] with a girl I met in college [21 F] I like her, but I won't see her and I'm not sure what to do | Okay, I'll be pretty brief, met a girl in college, started to like her. However, I'm taking a leave of absence this semester so I can figure out off campus living. We met just days before the end of the semester and it turns out we worked at the same International summer camp (in different areas, and will likely both work there again this summer. So here's the thing, I can't seem to get her out of my head. Something about her, I don't know - clicked - for me, but I have no idea what she thinks. I don't live near the college, so I can't do too much about it. Should I try contacting her through Facebook? My old roommate is a mutual friend, could I ask him to do anything. I really want to give this a shot, I've never had a girlfriend or even been on a date and I've never met a girl who likes me. I have no idea what, if anything will come out of this. I mean she's pretty and probably out of my league, like I said I don't even know her that well. But I want to see if this goes anywhere. Maybe I'm just being selfish - I did just meet a girl that I really thought liked me, only to find out she didn't, or maybe I'm just desperate for a girlfriend - to prove that some girl would even give me a chance. All I know is I feel the need to do something, but I really don't know what. Please help. | Met a girl, can't stop thinking about her, won't be able to see her in person until maybe this summer or September. I can use Facebook or a mutual friend, not sure what's best - still not sure what to say. |
t3_2gf90d | offmychest | Feeling too bad to think of a title. | Don't even care enough to elaborate or make some clever writing so I'll just leave this all here to seep in. I'm too tired and sad to write more than the fact that I hate myself. Everything. Who I am. How I act. How I look. What I do. All of it.
I can't help but feel so alone. Watching everyone else live life to the fullest and when they do have problems they keep on going. I feel stupid and that neither me or my loneliness even matter. Sometimes I just want to stop feeling. Better to have nothing than everything you don't want right? | I hate myself and want to go away. Forever. |
t3_2jee60 | tifu | TIFU by mishearing a student | I teach in Australia, where it is normal for schools to have a 'no-hat-no-play' policy (so in Spring and Summer time, students must wear a hat at break times). My school also has a strict response to bad language. So here I was, on yard duty, on the first day of term after our spring vacation, getting kids to put on their hats and guiding those without them into a sheltered area. I sprung one hatless student on the handball court, and when he told me he'd forgotten his hat, I said he needed to move off the court into the shade. Under his breath he muttered, "For fucks sake."
I HATE responding to things like this. I actually don't give a shit. But I'm not meant to let stuff like that go. So I march him up to his classroom teacher, and start to tell the story of what happened. The kid hangs his head in acceptance that he has done something wrong, but when I tell his teacher, "And then he mumbled under his breath, 'For fucks sake'", this kid turns white and freaks. "I didn't say that! I didn't! I said, 'It's the first day'!" He was telling the truth.
So after apologising to him profusely, I have my fingers crossed that this kid didn't go home and say to his parents, "A teacher dropped the F-bomb in front of me today". | Accused a kid of saying fuck, by saying fuck. He didn't say fuck. Which made me think, 'Fuck.' |
t3_iysil | AskReddit | Question to any Redditors employed in aerospace, aeronautical engineering fields.. | I have always been interested in science and tech since I was little and more specifically airplanes and rocket ships (who isn't right?). After highschool, I did a Bachelor's degree in Political Science and then went to college and did a certificate in Commercial Aviation / aeronautics. THEN, I did my pilot's flight training receiving my commercial single-engine pilot's license.
I am now incredibly in debt with student loans and am no closer to achieving my goal of working at NASA (or any private aerospace firm for that matter).
I need your advice to help me find a decent college / uni program that can help me break into this field. I'm currently looking into doing a college computer science program or doing another bachelor's degree, this time in computing and Information Systems.
I am hoping some of you who are already working in the field can point me in the right direction and give me some guidance on what to do!
Background: I have BA (political science), Certificate in Commercial Aviation, a private and commercial pilot license, and am currently teaching basic computers and accounting at a local community college. | I want to get a job working in the aerospace technology field and don't know where to start. Ideas will be much appreciated! |
t3_36sn0d | legaladvice | Group Home causing problems, anything I can do? | I live a pretty rural area of central Massachusetts. About a year ago the house across the street was sold to a company that provides services for youth and adults with "behavioral challenges". There was some uproar with some of my neighbors, enough that the company hosted an info session explaining how nobody would be able to tell that it's a treatment/residential facility, and that in fact since it's in a residential zone they cannot have an impact.
Fast forward one year and there is daily noise from residents and employees such as yelling, loud music, beeping cars. They seem to have quarterly meetings where there are typically 15-20 cars parked all the way into the street.
At least once a week police/EMS make a trip to the house to deal with an out of control resident. I've seen residents in various states of undress, in the middle of the road yelling that they would throw themselves in front of the next car to drive by, sitting in my front lawn, swearing, etc.
I'm pretty patient and understand that everyone needs a place to live, but this place seems to be getting worse by the day. When I spotted my 5 and 7 year watching the latest outburst/police activity from the window I decided I need to figure out what my options are.
Is there anything I can do, with the town/state or in a cival case to motivate this company to get things under control or move? | Residential treatment house causing problems, what options do I have legally? |
t3_23cfmo | relationships | Me [30 M] with my Long distance GF [25 F] for 10 years, I love her but I can't keep this up any more. | We meet in 2003-2004 in a chat room. We hit it off and quickly fell in love. The problem? She lives in an other country. I'm From the US and she's in Canada. She refuses to move in with me in the US because she has family their. And i refuse to move because I have a house, job, life and family here.
But after 10 years, I want more. I want kids. I want someone to call me Daddy. I want to to have a wife live with me in my house. She does too but we can come to therms with moving to each others places. We've meet already btw. A lot of times. I travel from New york to Vancouver once every two years.
I just don't know any more. Is it worth leaving the women i love to find an other close by to start a new life? One that I want? | I Met a girl online. We've been dating for 10 years but neither one of us want to move in with each other. What do? |
t3_201r3k | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 1 year, do I have the right to be annoyed at him for staying out late with his/our friends? | My live-in boyfriend and I used to have the same friend circles that were largely co-ed... a healthy number of girls and boys. This friend group has since drifted apart and I am now one out of two girls in the friend group, the rest are eight boys that my boyfriend and I get along very well with.
The other girl in my group is in a relationship with someone that occasionally but very rarely hangs out with us, so now most times she is off hanging out with his friends, leaving me to be the only girl in the group. I generally get along with boys more than I do with girls, due to growing up a little bit of a tomboy until the age of fourteen (I climbed trees, ripped dresses, dressed in baggy boys clothes, had short hair etc etc).
That being said, my boyfriend and I had a talk about me finding more girl friends and maybe hanging out with the boys less for it to be healthier as the boys sometimes could not have 'man' talks with a girl around. I completely understand, even though I do not mind, and am used to these chats (that revolve around cars technology and women).
So sometimes I go off and have alone time or hang out with some of my other friends from the gym that I do not see very often.
I have no qualms with him going out with these boys for dinner/drinks, but this past week it has been 3 nights in a row. The rest of these boys are single, and my BF is the only one in a relationship. I want to tell him that staying out until 2am and coming home only when I text him is not ok, as it is making me feel as if i'm his mom. I do go out for drinks as well, but I come home at a reasonable time. Needless to say, I am annoyed. How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable? | BF stays out late with friends til 2am for 3 nights in a row. Am annoyed. Am I being unreasonable? |
t3_3c5vbk | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] of 2.5 years, Can I bring up his weight gain? | Hi reddit!
I'm hoping I cant get some advice. Overall, I feel my relationship is healthy and loving. however, in the past year my boyfriend has put on a lot of weight and it is effecting our relationship. I'd say at this point he can be seen as obese. I believe he may have a binge eating disorder.. I want to be supportive, but being 100 pounds with a fast metabolism, I don't always consider my food choices. I'm able to eat a lot of sweets, pasta, rice and snacks. I know this can be discouraging because he often has bites or at least half of what I prepare or buy to eat.
He has lost weight successfully in the past so it's not a matter of ignorance on how to maintain himself. when I met him he was eating healthy, gym everyday and running half marathons.. he was fit and handsome with an extremely attractive face.
I feel horrible saying this but I have lost some attractiveness for him.. he doesn't look the same, his sex drive is non existent and his clothes don't fit. my friends and family are starting to make remarks to me about his weight gain and I feel terrible.. I've asked if he's experiencing depression but he said no.
I'm worried that due to his neglect to himself ( and sexual neglect) ,I will become resentful and fully lose interest... I really want him to know that this is starting to cause a strain in our relationship, but I don't know how to bring it up.. or if I even should. | boyfriend gained a lot of weight.. can I bring this up kindly without hurting feelings? |
t3_4ozydg | Dogtraining | House-soiling issues with an 11 year old dog. | Hello,
I'm unsure whether there is a questions thread or whatnot where I can ask the question I have so I made a post instead. Growing up, we had two dogs for the better part of 10 years and recently had to lose one to illness. Our current dog is an 11 year old Pointer mix who was never properly house-trained during those 10 years and has therefore developed house-soiling habits. Growing up I never really paid attention to it as I figured my dad whom had read a few books on the matter had claimed we could fix these habits. I've recently come to understanding that everyone in the house has simply given up on fixing this issue and it annoys me. With a new dog coming into the picture later this summer and a lot of free time this summer I'd like to fix this issue.
The dog, Ella, has habits of peeing on a training pad at the front door anytime we leave the house or when we go to bed. When she notices we go upstairs to get to bed in the evening, she will within 5 mins, pee on her pad, regardless of whether she's been out for a walk or in the backyard in the past hour. When we leave for extended periods of time(4+ hours) she will poop in the living room creating quite the unpleasant smell for a few hours.
A relative dog trainer has proposed changing where the training pads are to putting them beside the backdoor, and then gradually showing her to go outside. I've attempted to move the training pad and she will generally move her soiling area to where the pad is however, I'm uncertain on how to go about showing her to go outside or rather how to not pee in the house as I don't believe her issue is a lack of understanding that outside=toilet but rather that her issue stems from the lack of understanding that inside=/= toilet.
Any tips or help in how to break this habit? Will a new dog pick up this habit if the older dog does it?(our 1st dog did not) I'm sorry if the text is long. | Dog has been with us for a long time, has always peed and pooped in the house, on a training pad while we were away or upstairs in our beds. |
t3_329xdu | relationships | My [24 M] Girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years texts the son of her boss.. A lot. | Small back story first me and my girlfriend had lived up north for our first year together and it was great and her parents moved her down south for her fathers job we were in a long distance relationship for a good some of time until I decided to move down here to continue our relationship without being 1000 miles away from each other. I easily picked up a new job that is a great opportunity for me.
In that time she has been friends with the son of her boss we shall name him Chris(M26). Chris lost his brother last year and has been difficult for everyone involved including my girlfriend since she was close friends with him.
For the last several months her and Chris have been texting more and more. he works nights so she spends a lot of time when i get home from work texting him. From what I know of they have only hung out two or three times but he lives in the same complex as us. She does not let me even touch her phone and gets aggravated whenever I even go near it. She says he 99% of the time just complains about his life and how his baby Mama from several years ago wont be with him. In my head I feel its just him throwing a pitty party to fish for compliments. She promises that she is just friends and if I question it she accuses me of not trusting her..
I have an outstanding job down here but its difficult to say I would stay down here if things didn't work out with me and her. I don't know what to do in this situation and am unsure if I am just a horrible person for being nervous about how often they talk.
Hopefully someone has a suggestion. | GF texts bosses son more then I think is normal. Has been going on for a while. |
t3_4h0noh | relationships | Me [17 F] with my ICT Teacher [35? M], I have been avoiding him and his lessons | I study [UK] A levels, and I have A* A* A predicted grades, I have stopped going to school as I see no point, I just sit at home and do past papers. I came into school today and he saw me, and asked where I had been for 2 weeks, I lied saying I was unwell, and he knew I was lying. He said that I should come to lessons as we have started doing past papers, and that "if I'm not coming to his lessons, he is personally offended"
In our last few lessons, we have done past papers, crosswords, fll in the gaps exercises, and once been sent home as he had no work ready. | I am not going to lessons, teacher is offended. |
t3_2w8851 | relationships | Help! (25F) Extremely traditional parents are putting major strain on relationship | I (25F) have been exclusively dating a wonderful guy (30M) for 7 months. We are very happy together and can see a future together.
The problem is that we both still live at home and my extremely tradional and conservative parents are getting in the way of our relationship. They won't allow overnight sleepovers, they feel they must be home if he comes to my house, etc. I am lucky that he is pretty understanding about all of it, but sometimes it does get to him, rightfully so. I mean, he's a 30 year old man. He wants to be in an adult relationship, not treated like he's still in middle school.
I was wondering if anyone else has ever been in this situation, has any advice or insight for me. It would be greatly appreciated as I am having trouble balancing my relationship with my parents and my relationship with my boyfriend. | How do I deal with traditional parents while still maintaining a normal, adult relationship with BF? |
t3_4wgzxu | relationships | 33F wondering if it is still possible to find true love beyond your 20ies | I have been single for 7 years after things ended with a great guy. It was because of the long distance but even worse, various deaths and other tragedies in my family, a resulting depression from it and just in general a life that had been tough up until this point.
I have worked through this and for the last few years have finally been happy. I am living the life the way I want it now, have projects, friends, hobbies, travel etc. But what I haven't been able to find is a genuine man who really is available for true love.
Yes, I know, most people want relationships and love, but that doesn't mean they're truly ready to find their soulmate, stick with her or him to the end, be each others best friend, be completely vulnerable with each other etc.
It just feels like every guy I date has some major hang ups concerning relationships and that's why they're still single in their 30ies. Like they don't want committ, they want the player's lifestyle, or they have some racist or other views I cannot deal with. Or an addiction problem, mostly alcohol. Most guys I meet also seem to have someone somehow, either just sleeping with them, texting them etc. No one is truly available.
I feel like my difficult life has made me miss the chance to meet a guy who is interested in the same thing I am: committment, marriage, children, have a good, stable, drama free, drug free life, being kind to each other, making each other happy, being content just to watch a good movie together, have a nice dinner, tell each other all the stories, be there for each other through the good and the bad days... well you know you get my drift.
BTW: No, I am not saying it is impossible to get married at my age or just to find someone. This is never hard I guess. My issues is to find someone who is just as romantic and ready for the big deal just like me and doesn't have any major hang ups as described above. | Well I guess I am just asking: Are there any males out there more or less my age who have the same issues? Will I ever find someone who shares my values or is it too late? What do you think? |
t3_36zwu1 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my Bf [23 M/F] of almost 6 months, need help getting his birthday present. | Oi,
So I've only been dating this guy since December, we opted out of celebrating valentines day. But on my birthday, he got me a gold necklace with my name in hieroglyphics, we spent the day in bed getting stoned and drinking beers - aka exactly what I wanted.
Now his birthday is fast approaching; it's next week! And the day of his birthday is also going to be the last day of exams for him (and marking the day he's done with his bachelor's degree).
Now...I already ordered him a special edition addidas shoe.And I don't think we'll be able to have any birthday sex (which is fine..it can wait a few days i guess) but I feel like I should be doing more? Any suggestions? Ideas? He doesn't want to plan what to do on his birthday and he planned mine... So I want to make sure he has fun? He's a total hippie, chakra-aligning crystals nut. So a night out to a bar might not be the best idea. Help?! | i'm an idiot and don't know what to do for my bf's birthday. |
t3_jgt3g | AskReddit | Reddit, a friend "came out" last night...sort of. What are some experiences, suggestions, and sources of information for reacting in the most respective and supportive way possible? | Reddit, an early 20s male friend confided in my fiancee last night that he does not feel sexual attraction to women. He never had a girlfriend growing up, and recently attempted two relationships with women. Both relationships involved physical intimacy (and the loss of his virginity), but lasted less than a month each. I think these failed relationships provided him with the insights he needed to assess his sexual/relational desires accordingly.
Many in our group of friends suspected he was gay, but also assumed he needed more time to process who he was. Additionally, he comes from a very conservative Catholic family, which my fiancee and I assume did/does not help matters either.
After confiding in my fiancee, he said that my fiancee could tell me. He has yet to say anything to me personally, and I want to be as supportive as possible whether he finally confides in me personally or not.
I'd like to be clear, he didn't actually come out to say he was attracted to men, just that he is not attracted to women. Whether or not he is still processing his attraction to the sexes I do not know, so hopefully that is an additional piece of information to help you.
Any experiences (especially from any brave homosexuals of Reddit who can give me some insight), suggestions, and/or sources of information will be greatly appreciated! | A friend said he is not attracted to women (but didn't say he was attracted to men), and I'm trying to learn how to best be supportive through this life event. Please just spend the time to read this. I think it'd be really helpful for more of the "uninitiated" to become informed as well. |
t3_16scf2 | relationships | I'm [m25] and she's 24 and I don't think I can handle being in an open relationship with her anymore | We started off as friends with benefits about 6 months ago. This is probably the longest FWB I've had in the past 3 years. Usually these relationships only last 1-3 months at most. I've never developed any emotional attachment to my previous hook up buddies and now I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. I for once actually care. I've tried hooking up with other girls since we're in an open relationship but I simply feel too guilty even after just making out with another girl. Before, I had no problem fucking two different girls in one day but I actually feel bad. Like I'm doing something wrong when in reality I know I'm not. She has given me the permission to go and sleep with whoever I want.
This has been the most drama filled friends with benefits relationship I've had. About every month she wants to break it off, so we do but then we always end up resuming where we left it off. Well in the past few weeks I've been thinking really hard about how I feel about her and I would really like to date her exclusively. Last night definitely reaffirmed it when I tried hooking up with another girl and I just kept thinking about her and like I said before I've never felt guilty about hooking up with other girls before until now and the worst is we are in an open relationship. I finally have what I always wanted. Someone I can hang out with and I get to have a great time and she also lets me see whoever I want. But the problem is I don't want that anymore. I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle the thought of her being with someone else. I definitely know that shes the only girl I want to be with at the moment.
I also know she really doesn't want a relationship. This is her first friends with benefits she ever had. I can tell she really enjoys the freedom of being able to do whatever she wants and not be constricted to only one person.
Anyways, judging from old patterns I can only wonder when she wants to just be friends again. I'm torn between ending it now before I become even more attached than I already am or should I just stick it through and see what will come of it. | In an open relationship of 6 months, can't decide whether or not to end it now because I've become too attached. I'm 25, shes 24 |
t3_1z100w | relationships | Cheating - would you want to know? | If your SO cheated behind your back with other women/men, would you want to know? Or be left in the dark?
If you knew of someone that fucked with other girls behind his girlfriend's/wife's back, would you tell the SO that didn't know?
Background to my question that I hope to get some kind of insight into:
My SO and I split up [both mid 20's].
We are together again now. While apart, she left her FB logged in on my computer, and like an asshole, I read her messages. Discovered some guy messaging her sexual flirty things and that his girl was out of town etc...she went with it (damn, still hurts to think about).
I don't think my SO knows that I know...
I contemplate emailing the guys SO very subtlety...I don't know though, I know what it's like to be on that end, and I don't want to hurt someone. But I also don't want to sit back knowing this coward can get away with this shit. I'm torn.
What would YOU do? | if your bf / gf was fucking with people behind your back, would you want to be told? Would you tell if you knew? |
t3_33oedk | relationships | Me [35 M] with my wife [35 F] of 11 years, I keep screwing things up, and then screwing up again by not working on fixing it. | My wife and I have been together for about 15 years. I've done some stupid things, and have hurt her feelings many times in the past. The biggest things are that I am unreliable. She can't count on me at all. My wife is willing to continue our relationship, and I want to work on fixing these past mistakes. Even though, we are very close to divorce (her words), she and I have been talking every night before bed about the problems we've had, and how I can learn to make things better.
The problem is that we've done this before, and we work on things every night for a couple weeks, and after things go back to a sort of normalcy, I stop bringing it up. We go back into a routine and we don't talk about the problems and when I do something else to hurt her, everything comes flooding back, and we have to start over at square one. How do you continue to work through things, without letting things slip back into a routine where it's not discussed? I genuinely want to work through all these things, but we get busy, or tired, and sometimes it's a whole lot easier to not fight it out. It's my responsibility to bring this stuff up, she can't bring it up all the time, because I'm the one who's doing the stupid things that hurt her. She is amazing, and tries, but she's ready to end it with me if we can't get through our backlog, and make things better. | We fight, then try to work it out and I get lazy and quit bringing it up, and working on it. |
t3_efmzn | AskReddit | Reddit, I need to vent for a minute...Has this happened to anyone else? | I just got a ticket from Parking Services at my University. I live off campus and ride my bike everyday so I don't have a parking permit. This morning, I woke up late and it was snowing outside, so I decided just to drive to campus and park at a meter. I paid for the meter, and after class I still had 10 minutes left in the meter, yet I had a ticket at the window.
After confronting (politely) the lady at the parking services office about the ticket I find out that students, even students without permits, can't park at the meters. Turns out the parking nazi's cross reference licence plates with the university database to find out if you are a student or not (I had a parking permit last year, so I assume that's how they have my licence plate in the database).
If I had know I was going to get a ticket anyway, I wouldn't have fed the fucking meter....
Does anyone else have crappy stories about parking services? | I got fucked with a ticket for a bullshit reason |
t3_1z80wq | self | I told the girl I've had a crush on since August how I feel about her and she didn't even know. | So there's this poetry slam coming up on Tuesday that I'm participating in. I wanted to use either this poem or another, but I wanted her to read it or I wanted to read it to her before anybody else saw it. So I was practicing reading it today in front of the whole class. Obviously everyone knew it was a love poem. My teacher, whom I told this poem was about the girl I've had a crush on, told her to come up to the front of the class so she could see if it was easier for me to read it to one person. Me, a social anxiety valedictorian, thought I was going to screw this up royally, but I took a deep breath, and I read it to her exactly how I wanted to read it to her. It was perfect. One of the best feelings in the world. The best part is, after I read it to her, who was like face to face with me, told me it was a sweet and beautiful poem. This is one of the best days of my life. There's nothing better than pouring your heart out to your crush and acing it, and her saying everything you said was lovely. I hope she comes and watches me perform. That would make my day. I might tell her soon that it's about her. It felt so good to tell her how I feel. | I read a poem about my crush to my crush telling her how I feel about her and she doesn't even know it's for her |
t3_2uzrmd | dogs | My dog barks a lot, and it's starting to become a problem. Training tips would be much appreciated! | My sweet girl is an 8 month old corgi-chihuahua. She doesn't have a problem with barking when she is inside the house, but the second we let her out the door to potty/get fresh air, the shrill yips just do not stop. Sometimes she's barking at a leaf, sometimes at someone across the street, sometimes at nothing.
But it's becoming a problem because we live in a sort of town home next to a lot of other families with kids. She barks SO LOUD at the kids that she scares them. She's small and cute, but man, her barks sound mean. And when she barks, the hair on the back of her neck stands up. She really loves kids, and is very sweet and well behaved with them (we have a 3 year old), but she sounds like she wants to attack them and I don't blame them for being wary.
It's also a huge problem when I try to take her for a walk. No one in sight and she's fine, but if she sees a person she goes crazy and it's embarrassing.
I've heard of a sort of "muzzle leash" that you can use to train them while walking that yanks their head down when you tug. But I'm not sure what to do about when she's in the yard.
If anyone has had experience in this situation, I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE advice!! Thank you in advance. | Cor-chi barks nonstop, scares kids and is embarrassing. Help. |
t3_lqh4i | AskReddit | What is the point of the Occupy Wall Street? | First time poster but long time lurker! As a someone with an extensive Finance background I am struggling to understand the point of the Occupy Wall Street movement. The government did "bailout" the banks however, they simply invested money into a system and received a return on investment in return. Yes, Wall Street CEOs get paid tremendous amounts of money but they also have a very high risk/high reward job. If they are successful they should be rewarded as such. If they fail they should be pushed out like many are. Shouldn't the correct focus be on Washington and their failure to prioritize correctly? We have leaders making decisions on sectors of our country that they have no experience. Having a lawyer make business decisions of the country is the equivalent of having a mechanic perform surgery. Help me understand because right now I dont feel as if those within the movement understand the whole picture. | What would be considered a victory for Occupy Wall Street? What would be the impact to society and our living standards in the US? |
t3_k2in4 | AskReddit | Need swimming advice | I'm an adult that recently learned to swim. I'm trying to do laps using the crawl stroke for a cardio workout. My problem is that I can't get into a good breathing rhythm. Everything goes fine for about half a lap but then I find a need to take a breadth before I'm at my 3rd stroke. At that point I either complete the remaining strokes faster which then causes my whole tempo to increase causing the next breath to be required even sooner, this inevitability builds on itself until I'm swimming as fast as I can, lose all form and become exhausted within a couple of iterations; or I break my stroke and just take a breadth when I need it, but when I do this I find it also breaks my rhythm and it's not long before I look like an injured seal flopping about. Any advice is appreciated.
Also, this is probably related to poor breathing, but after swimming for a lap or two I notice that I have to burp a frequently. I would think this would mean I'm breathing too much? Not sure what to make of it since my main problem is my body screaming for more air. | I can't get into a breathing rhythm while swimming laps. |
t3_103e42 | AskReddit | So i changed from a total nerd to a good looking guy. Changed my behaviors to the better. But is still don't do well with the girls. What does reddit think i do wrong? | Throwaway account.
I guess this kind of questions have come by many times. But hey, why not give it a try? Anyway I just have to get this written of me.
Allright. for about 1 year ago i had long hair, dressed in sweatpants and an ugly t-shirt, showered only once a week, was bullied and didn't have many friends. (i was not fat btw, as maybe my username may suggest)
I finished primary? school and went to high school last year (well i guess, I actually live in Sweden and here it's called "gymnasium") Anyway, i was 16 and wanted a new start.
So i did. Asked around for clothing advise, got a new haircut, changed my behaviors, (Example: i now shower at least once every day, and i enjoy it) and got me some (good) friends.
However the girls, damn. I have tried many times, failed many times, never once succeeded. Hell, i haven't even kissed a girl yet.
I attend at parties, make great fun. But can't get to those girls. Once i came close, but it ended with my friend taking both girls into a bathroom and kicking me out (yes that did fucking hurt, but i didn't want it to ruin my party, so i took a new beer and started dancing)
And there have been similar things like that, when my friends made it with the girls i flirted with. (whoa not so good friends after all huh?)
Anyway. What is the next step for me to do? How can i improve myself more?
I have done the whole makeover thing, changed my behaviors to the better, got my own style and started a whole "new" life at college.
Oh, I'm 17 btw. | was a nerd, got a makeover, still doesn't work to get any girls. |
t3_hlr7z | AskReddit | Verizon CSR looking to transition into IT networking & security - best course? | i am currently your neighborhood Verizon CSR. Its a average job that pays the bills. I get to deal with tech all day long so I am happy. Tech has always been my passion but now I feel I want to push it from passion to career.
I am interested in moving towards networking and security. Prior to this position I used to work part time while in college as a computer consultant for a friends company, built PCs, hooked them up to Windows networks, configured routers and the sort. Nothing enterprise wise though.
But I am wondering, even though I do not have a degree in Information Technology or Computer Science nor do I have any certifications, I wonder...
Should I at least attempt to get an Associates in Information Technology with a bunch of certifications for networking and security? And if so which ones? | I understand it is usually more so about experience than it is about traditional degrees and certifications, but since I do not have any true experience with only just networking or security, I was wondering what is the best course? |
t3_2q6nd0 | tifu | TIFU by going to the gym | So like most tifu's this wasn't today, but actually yesterday. I decided I would go to the gym with my boyfriend who is pretty fit and works out quite often. I thought I was doing great. I was keeping up and I was trying to do it all just how he did it.
We decided that in addition to free weights and cardio we would try all the machines so he could teach me how to use them.
So here I am at the leg press. I am doing 110 no problem. My boyfriend decides to bump the weight up to 150. Again it's no big deal. So he says want to try and max out? I say sure. Not really knowing what it means. He puts the weight higher and higher and now I'm at 270 and can't go any higher.
We decide to move on and do the rest of the machines and by the end I am still feeling great.
Later that night I was kind of sore when sitting down or having to squat down to pick something up.
Today I woke up and I was like sweet jesus everything hurts. My legs are barely functioning. I can barely move and I have to get up and go meet my grandparents for lunch. God damnit. | I went to the gym with my boyfriend thought I was doing great. Next day I can barely move. Send help. |
t3_3iu0rt | relationships | Me 30 M with my co-worker/'friend' 26 F, she is kinda a jerk to me | right,
this seems like a strange question to be asking as a beyond fully grown adult but it's one situation i really don't deal with very well. i'm the type of person that just does their own shit and gets along with everyone, or tries to anyway.
i've been in my job for a couple years and there is a group of current and former colleagues where we all hang out from time to time. there is a bunch of friendly joking and it's usually fine and fun. because of the nature of the industry i am usually the only man in the social group, which i'm ok with whatever i just act normal.
one particular person has a tendency to go over the line with 'jokes', a bit with everyone and it feels like with me in particular. like the type of comments where people listening might be half-laughing and half-saying 'woooah'.
i'm quite capable of holding my own in the shit-talking stakes, but i don't really like coming back with equally harsh things because it's not me. i usually just laugh it off or ignore it. i would like to say it has no effect on me at all but i have mental health issues so it kinda does. i try and rationalise it (flirting? nothing? insecurity? genuine dislike?) but really i just don't want to deal with it.
is there a way to politely tell someone to step off? any recommendations? like i said, this really isn't my strong suit. i'm good at being friendly and if i hurt someone's feelings i feel like shit. someone doing it seemingly on purpose doesn't click in my mind. | 'friend' can be a real jerk, why and what to do |
t3_3vf8b4 | tifu | TIFU by wrecking my ex's car. | This happened last week. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because things weren't really working out and after a month of grief and animosity, we decided to be friends again (we were friends for years before we dated). The day went well. We went to the park, I helped him out with work and delivered some materials about an hour away. We checked on his Mustang in the shop. Then he suggested to go to a bar and I be DD.
"Okay!" I said. I felt comfortable with that. Nothing was gonna happen. He wanted some drinks. For an hour, we sit talking non-stop about anything and everything. Honestly it really felt good to be his friend again. After a bit we were ready to leave and he went to the restroom before we left. While he was gone, the bartender came to me and told me some guy was buying me a drink.
I politely declined and said I was DD, and because of my nice self, I walked over to the guy who bought the drink and thanked him anyway.
Ex comes out of bathroom sees this and gets upset. I quickly leave and apologize and tell him that someone buying me a drink wasn't in my control. I'm freaking out at this point. He says it's okay, but it hurts him a bit that it happened the first time we hung out. Understandable. But I'm still having an anxiety attack.
While all of this was happening, I was getting in the car and starting to back out. I drive right into a hitch on a truck. It cut his car pretty bad.
I start panicking. He says it's okay don't worry about it. Just go. He tells me don't pay for it but he's obviously mad.
He tells me to take him home and I did. Haven't heard from him since, except for a picture message that he sent me of the damage. | hung out with ex as friends after a month. Take him drinking. Wrecked his car. |
t3_1en6bz | relationship_advice | I (M 26) need to find a way to stay away from my best friend (F 24) who am madly in love with | she is amazing, great we get along so well, we hangout a lot, text a lot and all that, I love her more than I love anything in this world (as a friend) and then am also in love with her, I realized this a while back when she told me she was in love with her coworker (M 28), for a second my body stopped feeling things and I still am in a shock, she is so into him, everything I though she feels toward me she feels toward him, now don't get me wrong her I want her to have everything she wants, If love for her is to be with someone else by all means I couldn't be happier for her, BUT! I can't stand and watch, I just can't I know it is immature and I should be more grown up than this but these feelings is keeping me a prisoner, I can't even focus on other girls I just keep throwing them out of my life even though they are amazing girls, so I need to stay away from her, without telling her how I feel that is not an option, how do I kill this friendship? | In love with his best friend, she is in love with another dude, I need to stay away from her without telling her why |
t3_sps8f | AskReddit | Time for a new cell phone/ carrier. Suggestions? | I've just finished serving my 3 year sentence with Rogers and want to shop around for a new carrier. I was with Bell before this stint with Rogers found my Rogers phone basically gets a signal no where compared to Bell. I've been thinking of going with Koodo because they're supposed to be cheap but I don't know anyone who has a plan with them. So I really have two questions.
1. What cell phone carrier does reddit recommend? (I live in Halifax if that's relevant)
2.What type of phone should I go with. (I currently have an Iphone 3GS and don't know if i want to go with the 4s or some type of android.)
Have a good day reddit. | Need a new phone/ phone company (live in Halifax). Suggestions? |
t3_3hxuwa | tifu | TIFU by throwing a squirrel | This didn't happen today, but a few years ago.
So a few years ago when I was in high school I walked into my house and there was a squirrel sitting on my couch. He looked at me with an expression of pure terror, and bolted. I called my father and explained to him what I saw, but he just said "bullshit" and hung up the phone. Figuring I was the only one to be able to do anything about this I grabbed some gardening gloves and proceeded to get to work on removing the squirrel from my house. After roughly 45 minutes and various squirrel catching methods I managed to trap it under a box. I reached in, grabbed the sucker by its neck, and proceeded to run to the door. I swung open the door, and chucked the squirrel as hard as I could out of my house. My momentary victory was cut short by 2 factors. First: I failed to anticipate how aerodynamic a thrown squirrel could be and how far it could fly in the air. Second: at the exact same moment my elderly next door neighbor was walking her dog in front of my house. As you might have guessed the squirrel collided square in the hips of my neighbor. She, her dog, and the poor squirrel all flipped a shit. I slammed the door and pretended I wasn't home as she banged on my door for a few minutes.
None of my family believed me until we received a strongly worded letter from her a few days later. | Squirrel in house. Pegged defenseless elderly neighbor with the squirrel. She hates me. |
t3_20lmve | relationships | What can my girlfriend (F 21) and I (M 22) do when we're hanging out that isn't watch TV or have sex? | We've been together for 3 years and have watched a lot of TV over that time.
Most of the time we hang out we'll watch something together or play video games. We're both really busy and stressed so it's great to be able to relax with each other. Lately though, I've been feeling like it's become all we do.
We've just finished catching up on Adventure Time and rather than starting another series right away I think it would be fun to do something else for a change, since we seem to just do our default thing and watch TV shows.
We already play video games together so ideally we could find something less digital to do. Or at least something that we could bond and talk while doing.
Thanks! | We've fallen into a TV watching routine. What can we do to branch out and do other fun things together? |
t3_3x3ij9 | relationships | I [26F] keep want to call my boyfriend [30M] of 7 months the wrong name [personal issue] | Throwaway because he reddits.
I've been dating my AMAZING boyfriend for the last 7-ish months. Met online and he is the best thing to happen to me in a long time. He's actually my only second serious relationship.
My problem is that in my head, I keep wanting to call him by my ex's name. For example, we'll be cuddling and I'll want to say "Love you [ex]" instead of my boyfriend's name. (For context, my first boyfriend and I broke up almost 6 years ago and dated for less than a year. Also, my boyfriend's and my ex's names are not similar in the least!!)
This is really starting to bother me. I took time off dating because my ex was such a royal eff up, and I had to learn what I wanted before I could date again. There's no way in HELL I'm still pinning for him, so why do I keep wanting to say his name? Am I really making more of a deal of this than it really is? | I keep wanting to call my current boyfriend by my ex's name and it's driving me crazy! Is it really a huge deal or am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? |
t3_3pokdy | dogs | [Help]Feeding quantity | My yorkie was on Royal Canin Junior for Yorkshire terriers for 14 weeks when I switched her to Acana small breed puppy for the last 2 weeks. She is about 16 weeks old. On Royal Canin she used to graze on her food all day and she usually ate less than the recommended daily dose and was obviously never hungry. With Acana she eats each of her 2 daily meals in 15 seconds and is hungry all day.
On RC she gained 100g per week. On Acana she has gained 40g in weight in almost 2 weeks.
According to the feeding charts for both products:
RC 92g per day, 378 calories.
Acana 40g per day, 151 calories
No wonder she is hungry. RC gives 2.5 times more calories per day than Acana.
Now I am worried that I am under feeding her, since she is very hungry all day. Today I upped her Acana to 60g per day as a middle ground. Why is there such a large difference in recommended daily calories? The RC instructions is less granular and breed specific so I trust it more. Based on that I should feed her 100g Acana per day. Suggestions or comments on how to proceed? Is it better to overfeed while she is still a puppy rather than risk malnutrition while she is growing. I could always reduce later should I notice she picks up weight?
Her expected adult weight is +-3.8kg.
Please don't make this about which food is better.
Note: I just got the horrible feeling that I misread the Acana feeding chart, thinking the stated amount is per portion and not per day. However I just checked the package and the chart states it is a 24h dose, so I was correct in dividing the stated dose by 2 for each meal. However maybe they made a mistake. Their website does not state if it's per day or per portion and they have not yet responded to an email I sent earlier. | Switched to Acana from Royal Canin. RC recommended dose is 2.5x as much calories per day vs Acana. Dog is hungry all day on Acana as a result. Am I underfeeding my puppy on Acana? |
t3_4hbrio | relationships | Crush used the n-word in a joke | Both I [20 F] and the crush [20 M] are white. Known each other around 3 weeks. Been on 1 date, talking every day.
He made a joke using the n-word and it wasn't even funny. Personally, I just avoid the word since it's disrespectful but he said it shouldn't matter that he said it since no black people heard the joke.
This essentially boils down to a difference in views on social issues. My real question is do I:
* attempt to change his views via debate (attempting to change people is shitty and we could end up arguing)
* come to terms with our differences (despite the fact I'm a very socially aware, political person and I find it hard to divorce myself from that. Also disrespecting black people could be a sign he might not treat me with respect in the future)
* or just give up on anything romantic happening and just be friends | do I forgive insensitive joke or forget about my crush? |
t3_36i69g | relationships | Me [17M] getting too attached to online girl [16F] | I basically met this girl online, and we hit it off straight away. We texted every day and stayed up until 4am every night. There's even been two occasions where we stayed up until 6am on a school night and I ended up missing school. There have been a few skype calls as well, and this connection we have is great but...
It's only been a month and I'm incredibly attached to someone I've never met, and it's bugging me. When I'm trying to study I'm thinking about her. I just think about her a lot, and since it's exam season there's nothing I can really do to occupy my mind other than study, which is just hard. I don't know what to do.
We've always talked about taking breaks in talking because it was getting ridiculous but it never happened - until now. We haven't really texted properly in 3 days and I guess it's because she's feeling this too and wants to distance herself maybe as I know for sure she has feelings for me too. However it sucks, so much, and I just want to talk to her, but I keep stopping myself.
We've set up to meet after exams so that we're stress free but I want to meet her sooner. It's TWO months. I've gotten incredibly close with this girl and not talking to her just makes me feel shit, but I do want something with her in the long term, so should I just stop talking to her for a while, and if she texts me, then so be it?
It's not like I don't have any friends or I don't speak to any other girls but this girl in particular I've just grown to like so much, shit. I just don't know. | Gotten too attached to online girl, having break in talking, want to talk to her but not sure if getting too attached online is big mistake. |
t3_3k917u | relationship_advice | Girl (15/f) in class calls me 'her bitch' | Hi,
So today, in class, a girl who i know called me 'her bitch', not harassing, just for fun. And i reacted like : okay haha.
Then later on she called me again bitch and a bit later she explained what it means.
Then some minutes later (the lesson takes 1,5 hour so.) She called me her bitch again, and i replied for fun, no you're my bitch. And then she asked so what should i do for you. I didnt 'command' her because i was kinda overwhelmed. When the lesson was almost over she called me her bitch again and i replied with something like okay haha (again).
-- now, what does she want? I have been thinking about it and what i could come up with, that she wants me to ask her what i should do for her. Any advice on this x) does she likes me or is it more like a friendzone thing. xD | A girl in class calls me bitch and i think she wants me to ask her what i should do for her. |
t3_2o61jv | relationship_advice | Does this mean I (26 M) don't have any friends, or does everyone hate me? | So I lost my phone a couple of days ago, and with that happening I got a free flip phone. This sadly meant that all my contacts are gone, and I have no numbers for anybody I know. With this being the case I went to Twitter and Facebook to let all my friends know that I lost my phone and needed peoples numbers and asked for them to send them my way.
So far I've had 7 likes on my post on Facebook, but yet no numbers have been sent my way. Does this mean no one wants to be my friend? Does everyone hate me and just playing nice and pretending to be my friends?
Also, the people that liked my status aren't just acquaintances.
So reddit what could this mean?
Thanks for all the replies and people that took a second to look at this by the way! | Lost phone and made a post on social networks saying I needed numbers. People saw posts and liked them, but nobody has sent me any numbers. Does everyone hate me, or do I have no friends? |
t3_2y3iww | relationships | Found out GF(24) used to be a sugarbaby and have sex with older men for money. Should I be honest when I(M26) dump her or make up a different reason to spare her feelings? | I've been in a 8 month relationship with Sarah, and things have been going well, with her saying she's crazy about me and I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had. Two weeks ago during a house party with a few of our friends the subject of sex comes up and since we are all pretty drunk and lacking inhibition I find out from one of Sarah's roommate's that she used to be an active member on seeking arrangement, basically a site for sex workers to find johns. I'm completely disgusted and any romantic feelings I had towards Sarah have evaporated. She was too drunk to realize that I know about her past but she has noticed me being more distant. I haven't had any desire to have sex with Sarah since then since I am repulsed by the thought that she view sex like a commodity and sell herself to strangers. I've made up excuses every time we are about to have sex, like saying I'm stressed from work but I'm getting tired of bullshitting and just want to get out of this relationship. I'm also annoyed by the fact that she never told me about this since she is a smart girl, she definitely knows this would be a dealbreaker for a lot of men but hid this from me, essentially taking away my autonomy to decide whether or not I was willing to accept having to date a former sex worker.
I'm planning on breaking up with her in a couple of days and currently think I should just be honest and tell her the reason why. However, after talking with some of my friends, they say I should make up a bullshit excuse and say the chemistry died, since telling her I'm breaking up with her because of the past will just make her feel like shit over something she cant change. I feel like this is somewhat disingenuous and gentle honesty is the best policy, but since the relationship will be over anyway I feel like my friends have a point and I may be kicking her when she's down for no reason. I would appreciate some advice. | found out girlfriend is a former sex worker and planning on dumping her, wondering whether to be honest or not |
t3_1iqyas | relationships | Girl [19F] cheated on her boyfriend [19M] with me [19M], I like her, but don't know if I should take it farther. | I went to this party and this girl cheated on her boyfriend with me. I didn't know she had a boyfriend at the time because she never talks about him. They were together for 2 years. We continued to see each other and became FWB. As time went on, I started to get feelings for her and so did she.
Now she broke up with her boyfriend because things weren't working out and she had a had time balancing me, her boyfriend and her friends. I can tell she wants to move past FWB and actually be in a relationship, but I don't know if I should trust her.
We spend a lot of time together and we are usually texting when we're far apart. I don't ask her about her past relationships so I don't know how she acted before that. She's the type of girl that will never get married and wants to enjoy every aspect of life including the sex, she has already had multiple partners (10 guys and 2 girls) Do you think she would cheat on me or can people change? | Girl cheated on boyfriend with me, now we have feelings for each other, should I trust her? |
t3_330ldt | relationships | She [20F] told me [21M] to think about us, and the more I think about it the less inclined I am to carry on with it. Need some perspective from you guys. | So I've been seeing this girl for a month now and she's wonderful in almost every way, except she hates everything about herself (note: she is not depressed, she is incredibly insecure). Now me on the other hand: I'm easygoing and rarely get angry or annoyed by people, I go out of my way to make others happier, and I don't like to think about my own emotions (this last part is important later).
Today I decided that we need to talk about her insecurity because its starting to pervade into every conversation we have, and she told me that she doesn't want to change her personality for a relationship. This is fine by me, I've known her for a month and I have no place telling her who or what to be. But she was visibly upset by this conversation and asked me what exact traits I liked about her. On the surface of it, I think she's pretty, smart, driven, and lots of great things. But that wasn't the type of answer she was looking for- "I like you because you're so unique and rare personality-wise for XYZ traits, there's lots of pretty and smart girls". So I agreed to go back home and seriously introspect on it because it wasn't something I'd ever thought about.
Now I'm sitting here thinking this.
I do like her and I still can't put words to *why* I do, but the more I think about her personality, the more I realize that she isn't ready to be in a relationship yet. If I go through with this and commit to being with her, I feel like our relationship will be more about her finding herself and me going along for the ride. | I don't think my potential gf is ready for a relationship yet cause she needs to be less insecure. opinions on the dilemma? |
t3_3wkq3x | relationships | My (25F) best friend (25F) is about to become a single mother | My best friend is about to become a single mother. The father is someone she had a very casual sexual relationship with for a few weeks and he has essentially decided not to participate in her pregnancy/ his daughters life. Although he's been very self pitying and hurtful towards her, he was pretty clear upon finding out and she decided to go through with the pregnancy anyway.
However, she is having a very difficult time emotionally and dealing with lots of feelings of rejection from him. Myself, her entire family and the rest of her friends are very supportive but she oftens calls/ texts me crying that she doesn't understand why he has rejected her and their child. She is very angry and hurt. She's already a week past her due date, emotionally drained and exhausted. I don't want her to look back at this time with any regret or sadness and I don't want her to miss out on these last few days of pregnancy/ the birth of her daughter because she's too upset and can't see past her situation.
If theres anyone who can offer any advice on how to handle this situation, I would really appreciate it! I know nothing I say can fix it but I've never been in the situation she's in and I want to help her. Thank you so much! | Best friend about to become single mother, need advice on emotional support |
t3_24p7im | relationships | How do I [21M] support a close friend [21F] whose SO of 2 yrs just passed away recently? | I love this close friend of mine. She entered into a relationship with a Guy[23M] without telling her friends about it. It just so happens that I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy ... that knows the Guy. So I know something was going on between her and the Guy. I didn't notify anyone that I knew what was going on. The Guy gets into an automobile accident and dies. My close friend is just devastated. I was thinking of taking advantage , but then I thought I wouldn't want to become the "rebound" while she is still grieving and healing. So I would just want to support her in any way I can without letting her know that I knew of the relationship. How do I do this? | Close friend's secret SO of 2 yrs passed away. How do I support her without letting her know I know about the relationship? |
t3_3pipak | relationships | Me [19 M] am having problems keeping a stable emotional level around people. | Hey guys,
So I am someone who's very dependent on emotion/energy to dictate how I act around people. Sometimes I can be 'in the zone' and talk to anyone, and have a great conversation. Usually, when I am like this I am very hyper and I am dictating the flow of the conversation -- I talk fast, and I am fun to be around. Other times I am quiet, soft spoken, awkward, and kind of a grouch. What can I do to stay energetic all the time?
Sometimes, depending on what people say to me, I can get incredibly quiet when talking to people. For example, yesterday I was hanging out with three of my friends, and I was talking about buying a house. All of a sudden, my friend Jason cut me off and had a conversation with Emily. I tried to continue talking to my friend Sam, but at the end Jason said "no one was listening to you." That hurt me, and made me quiet for the rest of the time. Am I being too sensitive? What can I do to not be as sensitive? | Cannot keep a stable emotional level during discussions. Small things people say to me affect me more than they should. What can I do to combat this? |
t3_2wocks | relationships | I [27m] broke up with my ex [27m] of 2 years. I mulled it over for months, yet it's still killing me. | I wasn't so sure I wanted to be with my ex anymore. We dated for 2 years and eventually I had to break it off. We were both at a busy time in our lives and I feel like the relationship wasn't getting the time it deserved and I had to end it. Even though I comtemplated the break up for a few months before actually pulling the plug, it still hurts me 2+ months later.
If I was the one that broke up, why is it still killing me inside? How can I over come this? I feel bad enough putting him in this position, but hell, he's probably going to be over it faster than me, at this rate. | Broke up with an ex of 2 years since it wasn't working out, yet I still like complete crap almost three months later. |
t3_30z98j | relationships | Me (21M) her (20F) been together for 4 almost 5 years... sexted a girl ONE time, feel very guilty | Since the 1 time thing that I REGRET TO THE FULLEST! she doesn't know... and I don't want her to find out... but if she does idk what she will do... I feel so horrible... this happened 2 months ago while I was away and it was maybe tops a 1 hour convo and i was horny... i wanna go to the doctor im that bent outta shape about it... thr messages were bad... but it wasn't SUPER terrible... never said I would meet up for it... cause I never said any detail or what not but I know it's still very bad... and what may seemingly be worse, but I was trying to make it better...I know this seems like a complete lie and way to get out of it, but I messaged her via Facebook cause I wanted to meet up with her so I could delete the messages (she didn't think or know I was going to delete stuff, only reason I would of went)... This is the honest to god truth... after that I never went to meet her, I was to scared and what not, I took the next step and blocked and deleted her from every single Avenue possible... I did this cause I don't wanna be reminded and I don't want her to message me or my SO again... I'm not sure if she will say something to my girlfriend im leaning towards no because its been so long and they are not friends, but I hope not... I've never had such bad anxiety before, I love my girlfriend with all my heart... I don't know what to do? Need advice... yes I know I did wrong, but I know it well never ever happen again... FYI we are not sexually active me and my SO (Just finger sometimes) | sexted a girl ONE time, feel extreme guilt, and don't want my SO to find out... |
t3_40dc9x | relationships | My co-trainer[16f] wants a relationship with me[18m], I don't. How do I tell her no without causing a drama. | So as the title says I am a sports trainer for children. I only got the job recently and I really like it.
When I started I got this girl assigned as a co-trainer who I didn't know before. After a few days she
asked me on a date and I said yes. On said date I found out that I don't like her personality, maybe the age difference has something to do with it. So I made an excuse and went home.
The next few weeks when she asked me to meet again, I made up excuses and eventually I told her the truth, that I think she's a nice person but I find her too immature.
She said, she understood and the next few weeks, everything was fine until she started asking to meet me again.
This time I can't tell her that I don't want to be with her because she says its not as a date but just as friends(even though I barely talked to her outside the training).
Also I'm afraid that she will make a scene at the sports club (and i really don't want my friends there to know that I went out with her for a few reasons ).
So r/ relationships what do you think I should do? | I want to let a person who I have see every week to know I don't like her |
t3_3e34yi | relationships | Is it bad that I (M17) don't want to leave my girlfriend (F18) due to the fact I don't want to be an asshole? | Call me Dan(17M), and call the girlfriend Beatrice(F18) So I've been dating this girl for about 8 months and she is great. We met in a class and hit it off well. We were friends first and both believed we felt something and we got together. In the beginning I felt well,but as time went on, she was not what I wanted because she was very sensitive, controlling, mercurial, and we're just on different pages. I like offensive humor and she gets offended by some of it. I like being active, she doesnt, etc. At one point, I got depressed and I just wasn't myself and my friends noticed.
They told me to leave her because she was clearly why I wasn't myself because she controlled me alot and was very spiteful. But I don't want to leave her because I guess I have attached to her to some extent. Also, I will feel so bad because she won't have anyone to lean on. She has very big insecurities and I make her not focus on them. I've made her happy and made her feel better about herself. All of that will go down the drain. She will self-loathe so much and I just don't want to hurt her like that.
There are a plethora of double standards in the relationship, so if I left her, I'd be an asshole, and her friends would hate me, while if she broke up with me, her friends and her will be relieved to have made a "thoughtful" decison. I don't want her family and friends to dislike me if I were to leave her and I don't want to hurt her, but I want to finally focus on myself for once. I want to be happy and enjoy my prime young adult years, but she will presume I'm selfish and egotistical. I just have this fear of people hating me. Maybe I'm spineless/hypocrite, but I just care about her. I appreciate all advice. Be as real as you can. | i thought I was interested in a girl, soon really wasnt, got depressed, don't want to leave girl due to fact of her possiblely hurting/hating herself, and her friends/family may loathe me, need help |
t3_3wj5tx | relationships | 27 [f] needs help with crush 30 [m] | So I like this guy, 30, and we've been talking for a month and hanging out for a few weeks. I'm so full of doubts and anxiety when it comes to him and I hate it.
I made the mistake of being the aggressor. I message him, I ask him about hanging out. Of course, it seems to be dwindling. I'm trying the "do not message him" approach but I fear I messed it up. He's not good at communicating or sharing feelings so I never know where he stands.
Yesterday I asked him if he wanted to hang out on Monday and I got no response. I'm expecting a "sorry, my phone died" or some excuse.
I need advice. I don't want it to end... I really like the dude and I feel he does like me but I got stuck in this stupid pattern and I need to know how to get out of it. How do I bring it back? How do I turn it around so he chases me? I know i should have never chased him but I was crushing hard and liked talking to him. | girl likes crush and chased him too much. Needs help getting him back |
t3_1qmlcs | relationships | I [22 M] work abroad a do not have a permanent home, how do I meet women? | I work a monthly rotation in remote locations around the world. The months when I work, I have zero chance of meeting any women. The other half of the year I spend in hostels either traveling or relaxing in some random country. Needless to say I dont stay anywhere long enough to have a girlfriend, let alone close friends for that matter. People I meet while in hostels tend to be couples, groups of friends, or significantly older than me.
I did meet a great Dutch girl a few months ago and we have been keeping in contact with texting. But we recently became friends on Facebook and I found out she has a boyfriend. I am just starting to feel like I will be alone as long as I am in this job, but I love it too much to quit.
Any tips for meeting women while traveling? | 22 M working abroad. No permanent home, in a different country every month. Is it possible to build a lasting relationship with a woman? |
t3_fvklv | AskReddit | Approached by this Smokin Hot Drunk Chick | Ok so I'm walkin home from my workout (downtown Chicago) and I see this cute girl gettin in a taxi. nbd, right? Wrong! She has the taxi driver go 30 feet and pulls up right next to me. I didnt think it was that same chick so I kept walking only to have her fucking tap my shoulder a moment later and introduce herself. Did I mention she was cute? She was a knockout... Like a hotter version of [Karen from the Office.] And she was dressed just like her. Super sexy, I know.
Too bad she is like blackout drunk... and it's only 7:30pm. Major turn off. Ok she had a bad day, whatever. We walk towards my apartment (arm in arm, kinda weird) and we have some laughs and she makes idle hints about going home with her. Booya. Unfortunately my place isnt really an option (my roomates are home with bronchitis watching movies and our place is pretty open. I don't need inside-joke-meme starting "Scumbag roomate: Goes to gym - brings home drunk skank"), and she keeps forgetting that we're going back to her place.
As I contemplate the situation, she's waiting for me to take the lead. But then out of no where she runs forward, nearly knocking over 5 people, and jumps in a taxi. At this point I'm confused beyond belief. I got this family looking at ME to explain why this crazy chick tried to close line their daughter. I pause just long enough for the taxi to drive away. I chased the car a few blocks before losing this beautiful blacked out Karen forever.
I'm no Rico Suave and nothing like this has *ever* happened to me, I'm curious what Reddit would have done? I feel like I'd be taking advantage of this drunk chick (plus I've read one too many false rape stories on this fucking website) so I was a little apprehensive about the situation. | I'm Jim and I turned down a drunk Karen with no Pam backup. |
t3_oh3cs | AskReddit | My law school assigns "student mentors" to minority students. Am I the only one that has a problem with this? | I understand the idea of affirmative action, and that there is an emphasis placed on "diversity" in many law schools. Every day, we get emails offering paid internships that are only available to minorities. Though it seems unfair to me as a white guy, I respect that it is providing valuable opportunity to some students who, statistically, may have had less opportunity than I have, simply based on the color of their skin.
But, when I see a "minority mentorship program"... a program in which every minority 1st year student is assigned a 3rd year mentor whether they sign up for the program or not, red flags start to go up for me. First of all, it obviously places those students at a competitive advantage simply because of their race, but furthermore, it seems extremely condescending to assume that they would need a "mentor" to succeed.
In law school, everything is graded on a curve... everybody could know the material, but the teachers need to assign ~20% As, ~20%Cs, and the rest Bs... in that we're all being compared to one another, I find it really troubling to put certain people at advantages based on race. We're not going to approach the "post-racial" society that so many dream about while we still support discriminatory practices.
So tell me, does this seem unfair, or am I just looking at this the wrong way? | My law school assigns all minority 1Ls a 3L "mentor" whether they want it or not. Seems unfair to me as a "non-minority", and condescending to the minorities... at least to me. What do you guys think? |