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t3_3hfs6n | tifu | TIFU by using Tinder | Today i fucked up!
So it was friday night, and i was really bored... Now i'm engaged and my girlfriend was at work. so i thought to myself, well it wouldn't hurt to get some female companionship or whatever, not the way you think it. i don't really have that many female friends, and most of them are with my friends. so to the actual fuck up.
i didn't really care about looks or anything, so i swiped or whatever it's called.. i quickly gave up, cause nobody wanted to talk to me, which i can't understand.. i'm a good looking guy. (looking in the mirror and yelling "DAMN" kind of good looking)
anyways i was approached by one of my girlfriends co-worker, and she was going on about, how i could do that to her, and she knew who i was now etc.. i felt really bad about it, because i didn't intent on cheating on my girlfriend.
The co-worker apparently told everyone she knew, and now i'm branded.. that's fucking great.. today i fucked up. | TIFU by using tinder, girlfriend's friend saw me and told everyone. |
t3_2l3mf0 | relationships | Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) of 5 years are taking a break....but we still live together in seperate rooms. This feels weird. How can we make this break work? | I posted this about a week ago for anyone that wants to read a more detailed version of why we went on a break:
We have a lease together until August 2015. We are wanting to take a 1-month break in order to re-evaluate our relationship, decide what our needs are, and try to "fall back in love" with eachother. The sizzle is just gone.
Has anyone here ever taken a break from an SO and still lived with them? If so, what were your rules about it?
Ours are: minimal talking, no sex, no sex with other people, he stays in the spare bedroom. | BF and I taking a break to re-evaluate our relationship, but I'm not sure how to go through with a meaningful break if we are still living together and seeing eachother every day. |
t3_13eshb | relationships | I *Might* be a father again. How am I supposed to handle this? [25M] | I had a fling for about a month with a girl back in September. We had unprotected sex but I pulled out.... which I know isn't perfect. Yesterday, she called me and wanted to talk. Apparently she is pregnant and she is saying I am the father. I don't know if I believe her since our "relationship" was very casual. I don't really want to be the father either.
I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I am married so its really preferable that this isn't my child. My wife and I have been going through a tough period and the fling was borderline cheating. We were apart but still together. So its complicated. Wife and I have been together for 4 years and we have a 3 yo son and an 8 month old daughter together. Since the fling ended my wife and I have been communicating so much better and we are in a good place again. This would fuck it all up.
The girl I had the fling with didn't seem like she was going to have an abortion. She doesn't know I'm married so maybe it changes after that. I guess I would like to not be the father or there not to be a baby. My question is what should my move be? What do I need to be doing right now?
I'm 25/m and this girl is 20/f. My wife is 22/f. | Had a fling for a month. Apparently the girl I had the fling with is pregnant and says its mine. I'm married and have a family of my own already. Not sure what to do. |
t3_4umtkx | relationships | I [19M] want to ask my coworker [??F] out but I never get an opening. Need suggestions.. | I work in retail with someone who I seem to have a good chemistry with and I think she would agree if I were to ask her, but the problem is that we never have a moment where I can do that.
We work in different departments and see each other pretty regularly but theres always customers or coworkers around. I've known her for about 2 months. Is it okay to ask her if she wants to see a movie or something in front of coworkers? Id really rather nobody else be around but its so rare that were alone and so brief. I thought about passing her a note but that seems childish and kinda cheesy. I wouldnt mind asking her out in front of coworkers if I knew she was going to say yes but if she said no or she's busy in front of coworkers Id feel embarrassed.
It would mean a lot to me if I could get at least a few people to give me their opinions on this. Thank you for your time. | How do you ask out a coworker that you almost never are alone with? Is it okay to ask a girl on a date in front of people? |
t3_54u2ik | dating_advice | [M/16] Interested in a girl, but things are really awkward | Okay so for the past 2 or 3 weeks I've constantly been making eye contact with a girl I'm interested in. Almost every time we pass each other in school we make eye contact and it is really awkward. Unfortunately, I have social anxiety and have not approached her. Today she was walking past me talking to her friends and she turns around and says something to me. My brain completely shut down and I didn't say anything. She then awkwardly left and I felt like an idiot. I plan on talking to her tomorrow, but every time I say that I end up chickening out. I'm not afraid of getting rejected, I'm just afraid that I'll have nothing to say. I need some sort of plan so that I don't run out of words when talking to her. Any advice helps. | Awkward eye contact for weeks, I run out of words when I speak. |
t3_34b5gw | relationships | I (22/F) think I have feelings for (25/M). Can't tell if it's mutual (x-post from r/wemetonline) | Heyooo,
So, I met this guy online on a non-dating website 6 months ago. We started talking every day, we've video chatted a few times, and we've exchanged literally thousands of messages to each other. It was gradual at first and in the beginning of our online friendship he said that I was easy to talk to because of the distance between us. I am in the US and he is in the UK.
Now, I'm preparing a trip to see him in two-ish months. He was hinting at it and I went right out with it and told him that I could come and visit him. He said he'd love it if I did.
I'm starting to get feelings for this guy. I get excited when I get messages from him. I get butterflies. It's weird because we've never met before but we've been talking pretty much every single day for 6 months.
I don't know if it's a mutual feeling or not. Could it be completely platonic if we've been talking every single day for 6 months and we've agreed on me leaving to the uk to meet him? Do you think there could be something more there or no?
Most of the messages are friendly type but he has given me a few compliments and stuff like that. I just don't know how to tell if there might be feelings on his end too because I've never communicated to this level with someone online that I've never met. I don't know how to tell or if there are any signs that there might be more there and we're just not saying it.
What are some signs that it is mutual and some signs that it's not? What do you think? | Met a guy online and am getting feelings for him. I am leaving the country to meet him and need some advice on whether the feeling could be mutual or not. |
t3_508jeh | relationships | I[33M] dumped my fiance[33F] and now she won't stop harassing my gf[23F] | My ex and I were together for 2 years before I proposed to her. It came to light one day that she had lied about some things about her past, namely her sexual history.
I was pretty hurt and upset, and tbh it changed how I saw her so I broke up with her and called the wedding off.
After the messy break up, I hadn't heard from her for a few months. In that time, I met a new girl and started dating her.
My ex found out, probably from a mutual friend or something, but either way, she has not stopped harassing my new gf since. She keeps sending her angry, mean messages over text/fb, she'll tag her an old photo of me and my ex. She tried blocking her number and all that, but somehow she manages to message my gf from a new number.
What do I do? Do I go straight to the police or is there any way to talk some sense into my ex? | broke up with ex-fiance, now she's going crazy on current gf |
t3_4k4d8s | relationships | My[26F] boyfriend[24M] won't eat my cooking | Ok, this is really starting to piss me off. My boyfriend NEVER eats my cooking and he never cooks himself. We split the cost of groceries evenly but I will spend hours in the kitchen cooking breakfasts, lunches, and dinners every week. I also wash ALL the dishes afterwards. Once I asked him to take the trash out for me but he got mad and said I caused all the trash in the first place with all my cooking and I should take it out myself.
He doesn't eat my cooking at ALL. he claims that he like it and I always ask ahead of time what he wants to eat for the week but the answer is always "I don't know what I want" or "yeah i'll eat that" but he never does. He eats out 99% of the time. If hes off from work and doesn't want to go out to get food, he'll order pizza or Chinese food instead of eating the shit I already prepared in the fridge.
What should I do, /r/relationships? Should I just make meals for myself from now on? I don't really see that solving anything in the long run but I'm tired of cooking for someone who obviously doesn't appreciate it | boyfriend doesn't cook, clean, or eat my cooking and I'm tired of it |
t3_4tkukx | relationships | I [28 M] suspect my Wife [29 F] of 2 years may be cheating. Need advice. | My wife and I have been growing apart lately (lack of intimacy for about 3 months) and I've noticed a couple strange things that I want some unbiased opinions on.
She goes to the gym 5 days a week for a couple hours. One day recently when she was leaving she said goodbye and then I heard her phone start giving her GPS directions. Why would she need directions to the gym she's been going to for a year? Is it reasonable to believe she had accidentally hit 'go' to somewhere else she was looking up earlier?
The other day in the car I saw an obvious text conversation open and asked (in a friendly way, not accusatory) who she was talking to. She quickly moved her phone and said she was browsing amazon. Multiple other times I've seen her quickly hide her phone or laptop as I've looked over. I've gotten a clear look a couple of times and it was absolutely a text message program.
Mistrust is probably the quickest killer of a relationship and I haven't acted on any of this. I understand the severity of me even suspecting this. All of these could be innocent coincidences but together they've got me concerned.
How I see it I've got a couple of options:
A) Do nothing and let this either go away or eventually explode.
B) Ask her about it directly. I've asked her about the texts in the moment and she's lied, so I'm not sure if this would work.
C) Try getting access to her phone and see if there are any incriminating texts. This one would be risky and would absolutely damage our marriage if she found out. I really, really don't want to fuck this marriage up because of my paranoia. | I suspect my wife may be unfaithful but have 0 proof. I genuinely appreciate any help or advice. Thanks. |
t3_nj1jd | loseit | How do you know when you've "lost it?" | I've thought about posting this for a while. After 2.5 years, I'm 110lbs down. I completed a half-iron triathlon this summer. I ran a marathon--slowly, back of the pack. With lots of lifting I've nearly achieved my 300/400/500 bench/squat/dead goal. From a fitness standpoint, I'm where I want to be.
But I'm still 35 pounds over weight. 22% body fat at 289 pounds. I'd like to be 260 and 12% body fat. I've bounced between 280 and 290 for six months, struggling with motivation decay on my eating. Lots of guilt and regret, then redoubled efforts followed by back-sliding.
**Question**: Is it possible to just take a break for a year or so--coast for a while before trying to get back to it weight loss wise? I'm not losing anything lately and feel pretty upset about it; I'd like to accept not losing anything and just enjoy being fit and healthy. My worry is that this the first step in regaining it all. If anyone has tried this, I'd like to know how it went. | in great physical shape, haven't lost all the weight, want a break. Setting myself up for regain? |
t3_43y3dy | relationships | Me [26 M] with my ex [25 F] broke up and I feel guilty and sad since I initiated it | We had been dating for about six months and things were going reasonably well. I liked her and she liked me. I'd say there wasn't a very intense passion to the relationship, but there was definite affection towards each other. Both of us cared for each other deeply without question.
Yet I felt like something was missing. I wanted there to be passion in the relationship. I was always excited about seeing her and every so often tried my best to escalate things and take it to the bedroom, though she only was comfortable doing so a handful of times (fewer than five times) during the entire course of our relationship. She often made excuses about not wanting to get physical - either she was on her period (I had no issue with this), or she was PMSing or she said she hadn't taken her birth control. She often seemed to have a reason like that and obviously I didn't ever want to be pushy so I always felt compelled to drop it even though this frustrated me greatly.
I feel guilty that something like this was such a sticking factor to me. Almost like it's supposed to be too trivial a reason, but to me it wasn't. I wanted more with her. And even told her about it. She just didn't seem to want anything to change.
I broke up with her recently, telling her that there were some incompatibilities that I couldn't handle anymore but never actually saying what it was because it didn't seem to me like I needed to be that blunt about it. I haven't heard from her since, so I'm not sure how she's even taking this. But I feel horrible, partly because I know I probably hurt her feelings by breaking up so suddenly out of the blue and partly because my heart hurts from having to end things with a wonderful human being.
I haven't reached out to her since then either. But this whole thing makes me sad. I'm usually the one on the receiving end of breakups and it actually sucks to be the one who initiated it. I feel guilty about it and it hurts.
I don't necessarily have a question. I guess I just needed to talk about it. If anyone has any words of advice or wisdom, I'm all ears. | I initiated a breakup due to lack of passion in the relationship even though everything else about the relationship was just fine. I feel horrible about it. Any words of advice? |
t3_2dh0f3 | tifu | TIFU by wearing a wrap dress | The day is still young, so I don't know if I'm done fucking up yet.
Woke up this morning and it was beautiful! Just gorgeous. So I'm wearing a wrap dress that hits right above the knees. In addition to the day being beautiful and sunny, it's also been very windy. And in addition to that, I don't wear underwear (it annoys me).
That being said, I have no idea how many people I have flashed. I tried, oh god I tried to keep my dress in a lady like position, but despite my best efforts, mother nature (bitch) won on many occasions as I walked all over downtown.
On the bright side of my fuck up, my lady parts are freshly shaven, so at least I didn't look like a hairy Amazonian wild woman. | wrap dresses easily unwrap in wind. |
t3_4qo620 | relationships | I[M 26] always have to initiate calls, texts, dates, with a girl [F 23] I met 4 weeks ago. | A co-worker set me up with this girl. She seems nice, but she is very shy. I always have to initiate contact. One week she mentioned to my coworker that I hadn't texted her in a while. Until he told me, I just thought she wasn't interested. We've hung out a couple times since then. I tried to kiss her and she said "no," but she was all right with cuddling on the couch. Calls, dates, and physical affection were all initiated by me. I feel like I should wait and not text her unless she texts me first. But on the other hand, she is pretty shy, and when we said goodbye she said "So, see you later?" Like she wasn't sure I wanted to.
How can I tell if she's into me? If I wait for her to contact me, she might think I'm the one who's not interested. | How can I tell if a girl is just shy, or if she is not interested in me? |
t3_ssxdb | relationships | Frustrated with these people... | So, here's the gist of the situation. Got a girl, who broke with a boy, decided she hated him, then got back together with said boy after about 2 weeks, when he came crawling back.
The girl and I are in a close relationship, and she tried to hide the fact they were back together. Frustrated me pretty badly. I've asked why they got back together, and she said because he deserved a second chance, so I told her I didn't want to see her go through this break-up again (last time, it was quite emotional) and she said she would "deal with it".
She's being very calloused when talking, and just kinda abrasive when we're not talking face to face (ex. texting). Last time, the guy pretty much cheated on her and called her bitchy. I've been nothing but good to her, and yet she still chooses this guy over me. I know, I sound like an egotistical jerk, but I'm really confused right now. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance. if you need more info, just comment. Thanks! | Girl broke up with guy, guy asks to get back together and they. I like her, don't know what to do. |
t3_14e2an | relationships | My gf wants an explenation from me [Both 24] | This is a fight we had 2 times before, it's hard on our relationship, and if she doesn't get an explenation that it isn't going to happen anymore it's the end. Relationship of 2,5 years.
We are 2 outgoing people, we do alot of fun things, together or with friends, we respect eachothers boundaries, and do what we want to do.
Whenever we're out, we tend to hit the bars, and drink. Whenever my girlfriend is out with her friends, she tends to be drunk.
Last week, she had a busy agenda, going out 5 days out of 7. I had to work, the only time i heard her that week was her to tell me, how rought the party was (not mentioning drinks), or that it was very late in the morning, this is on monday, wednsday, thursday, friday, saturday, she doesn't work and only has to do her finals for this year. in my mind i start to think, damn, she's 5/7 drunk. Which is a negative quality, and i get frustrated, building up resentment untill i see her and then it explodes in her face. Telling her i don't love her anymore, think she's a marginal, cause she's always drunk, i want to end the relationship. I regret this now. (i should've told her before, instead of building it up, my bad)
Now, i get the full blaim, she asks me or i don't trust her, she says she can't touch a drink anymore when i'm around, i need help to figure out what's causing the problem.
I have a double feeling about this. | I tought my gf drank too much, build up resentment, exploded in her face. This happened 2 times before, now she wants explenation that it won't happen again. |
t3_rutrl | AskReddit | Isn't it a matter of faith that we are not being lied to about the outcome of a national election? Because honestly, they can claim that *anyone* won, and none of us could say a thing about it. | I understand that this is the only system we have right now, but is it not correct that the outcome told to us can have no correlation whatsoever to how people actually voted?
We, the millions of individuals who voted, have no real recourse for saying what the outcome *should have* been because we are all so disconnected. Is this not true?
So isn't the outcome told to us really a matter of faith? We just have to believe that the people in charge are moral and telling us the truth.
And if you think this is an conspiracy theory, or that I am wearing a foil-hat, then maybe you should open up a book on history and actually read it. | There is no way for us, as individual voters, to really comprehend the logistics of a national election. So... IMO there is an element of faith involved, because we can be told any outcome. |
t3_3fre3a | relationships | Me [24 M] with my BF [27 M]: His housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just for staying there. | I don't think I'm being unreasonable by asking WTF kind of backwards thinking is this:
*I've been with my boyfriend almost 18 months.
*I stay at his house (and he has 2 housemates) for *most* nights of the week
and somehow this justifies me paying for rent and bills.
However:
*I never wash/shower at his house except when I brush my teeth.
*I never use electricity for my own things except for *one* day when I stayed home to do some homework in peace away from my own household - which I realise would raise suspicions - but this was months ago now.
*My boyfriend *assures* me that the cost of bills has not increased since the beginning of our relationship. I get paranoid about our relationship with his housemates, so am often asking him if I'm leaving an expensive footprint but he says no.
*I generally do not use anything that my boyfriend wouldn't have been using anyway.
*Even when I'm around, my bf and I stay in his room, away from the others so as to not make them feel uncomfortable or like they're not free to do as they please in their own home. I am *very* conscious of this.
Generally speaking, I make a conscious effort to not abuse my stay. Admittedly, I do stay til late in the morning sometimes but **only** if I start work later, and this is because I'll sleep later. I do not ever lie in his bed sucking up all the electricity watching TV etc.
I just needed to vent this. I'll talk to him about it tonight, and if refusing to pay up means I can't stay over as much then I'd be willing to compromise but still WTF. | BF's housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just because I stay over a lot. Bills have not increased and I don't use water or electricity anyway. Thoughts? |
t3_vyq1k | BreakUps | So I got dumped by my best friend and all I want is to talk to him about, how do I get away from this circle jerk that is us? | We have been best friends for 3 years, friends is such a stupid concept when it comes to boys and girls though, at least for us. Anyways, he broke up with me b/c he loves when we are together but when we aren't he doesn't see it working. The thing is when we aren't together, he is with his mother, his mother who hates me, even though she has never met me. To her I'm a hood rat (but actually from a good [wealthy] family), Problem is I have tattooes, or atleast that is all he let me understand is wrong.So i guess i have to call a spade a spade, we are done. But the biggest problem for me is that he is my best friend. While I don't want to leave my house or stop crying, the only person I want to see is him, he is my best friend. How do I go from talking to him about everything everyday, to not having him at all? I know no answer will give me solace. I know his feelings are there, he is just scared and even more importantly, scared of 'hurting' his family. I know I rambled but I just lost what was potentially the love of my life to cowardness. I guess all I'm asking is for advice, I know I can get over this, I'm just scared because I don't want too. We have gone down this road so many times, the problem is this time its for real. I thought he was about to tell me he loved me when he broke up with me, surprise bitch! | How do I get over a break-up and talk to people about it when the one person I want to talk to is my best friend, being the guy that dumped me. |
t3_ic8j7 | AskReddit | I want to throw a great party, Reddit. What are some special things that I can do to make this happen? | Alright, so my 19th birthday is next Friday. I live in a college town, renting a house alone for the summer, and I want to throw a great party. I have invited friends from both school (which means they are coming from all over the state) and from home. However, since it's summer, I know that a lot of people won't show. Gas is expensive and for some, it's a far drive, so I understand. I'm thinking music, card playing, beer pong, etc... But what else can I do to make sure that everyone mingles, it isn't lame, and that things stay under control while everyone still has a good time? | How do I throw a kick ass party with a bunch of people who don't really know each other and my house is still standing in the morning? |
t3_2hx6uh | tifu | TIFU by drinking Mountain Dew and playing Slender in study hall. | This happened today, BTW, and I'd like to share with you. I had brought my laptop to school for a geometry thing, and I was using it in my study hall. I have study hall right after lunch, where I had consumed a Mountain Dew Code Red with my sample chicken wings, a piece of pizza, and some junk from ala Carte.
I was talking to a friend about how I was a pussy to play Slender, and he told me to play it, and he would sit with me to calm me. I collected the page with slender in a bunch of trees in the bathroom maze first, then the "Don't look or it takes you" from the oil tankers. I then picked up "Can't run" by some rocks. The whole time, I was shaking and nervous, trying to quit, but my friend told me to keep playing. on my way to find the fourth page, my laptop was under the impression that I had turned around. Slenderman was right FUCKING there! I screamed "Jesus Christ!" and slammed my laptop shut. Everyone in the class looks at me. I explained that I had been jumpscared on caffeine, but still got weird looks. | I played Slender in study hall on caffeine, and screamed like a girl when Slender was behind me. |
t3_4x2ikh | tifu | TIFU by losing my bluetooth speaker | Hey there /r/TIFU, this fuck up happened two day ago, and I'm posting this now because after some phone calls it's confirmed, I lost my bluetooth speaker, (A [Fugoo Tough] for anyone wondering.
That day I met up with two friends because one of them was leaving on vacation the next day, and we decided to get stoned and eat dinner together, to later go to his house to have a little party. Like I always do I decided to bring the speaker beacause we all enjoy having music on while we hang out.
When it was time for dinner we went to a mall here in Madrid, and ate some burgers, which were absolutely delicious. When we left I had to use the bathroom and I stupidly left my speaker on top of the sink. Since I wasn't in the best state of mind I forgot to get it when I left, and we started walking towards my friend's house. After about ten minutes I realized I left it and I ran back to the mall to go look for it, but it was already gone.
I called yesterday morning and today too, but they haven't found anything, meaning that some asshole took it home himself, which was pretty expected since that seems to be a part of Spanish culture.
The worst part about this for me is telling my parents, I haven't done so yet, and though I don't think they'll be particularly angry about me losing it (it was a birthday present), they do know that I smoke, and they will automatically, and correctly, assume that I was high. I really want to tell them because it's eating me up, but on the other hand I don't want them to think less of me. | Lost my bluetooth speaker while high |
t3_1jh4fh | relationships | Why do I [23f], who has an amazing family and loving friends with a good life, hate myself? And how can I get past it? | So this is me... I have a loving and amazing family. I have many loving friends. I have a great social life. It is easy for me to get the guy I want. I've just recently started talking to a really great guy, who really cares about me and likes me. So everythings cool and gravy and dandy so why do I not like myself so much???
I have wondered if it might be because I have been hurt a lot by guys I've dated/talked to. My dad left me when I was 8. I feel as though every man will leave me. (Trying to convince myself that this current guy wont hurt me, but can't really believe it).
Recently after a very devastating breakup, for months I could feel nothing but hate for myself. What's wrong with me that he would leave and never speak to me again? I'm a good person. What part of me could they have hated so much to just throw me aside like I was nothing? It killed me. To clarify, this is not the reason why I started feeling like I didn't like myself. This feeling has been around for years. It is just after this breakup did I feel at my lowest, most terrible low.
So sometimes when I am alone I will sit and want to cry because I don't like myself. And when I try to figure out why, I hate myself more because I truly can't find a reason. I know I'm not a bad person. I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I enjoy making others happy. I've never told any of my friends or family how I feel because they would have no idea either. They would tell me that I shouldn't feel like that. And I know I shouldn't but I can't help it and it is a terrible feeling. So i thought I would post here to see if anyone could relate/help out? | Hate myself for no reason, don't know why, and don't know how to get past it. Makes me sad that I can't seem to really love myself |
t3_3w34hl | relationships | My [16M] father [52M] is displaying weird behaviour. What the heck is going on? | My father has been getting weirder recently. I'm not sure how to put it. Below are some of the weird stuff he has done more frequently as time went on.
- Has temper fits
- Constantly not able to remember the correct word to use in his sentences, or just uses a wrong word that has minor differences in meaning. (E.g. "Why did you... -lock your door?" when he knows i only closed the door but did not lock it)
- He has had a habit of sleeping late (1am-ish) for years. My family sleeps around 11pm usually. Recently he would just casually walk into the bedroom at around 12am and talk very loudly to me/ my mum as if we were still wide awake and were in a conversation with him. He doesnt seem to care that we were already asleep.
- He has suddenly started sleeping early since this week and demanded that I sleep early as well. Note that since its the school holidays in asia, i have been playing csgo till 12am-ish for 1 month now. He has not given a single shit about what time i sleep for the past month.
Any comments about what the heck is going on would be greatly appreciated. Even better if any redditors know someone like this. Is this a symptom of aging /disease or something? | Dad started acting weird. Any explanations would be great. |
t3_fqmat | self | Widening Generation Gaps? | I'm 29. I can remember not having a computer. I didn't have a phone; WE had a phone. Ads on TV were for products that didn't have 30 second long disclaimers about how this product might kill me. You get the picture.
With the exponential increase in technology and the way it's impacting our lives, have we reached perhaps one of the largest generation gaps in human history?
This new generation that was born into social culture and on demand anything is increasingly fixated on technology. Interactions are quantified. Thoughts are instant texts to friends. Everything is instant and you're never alone. To me they're born into the grid or Matrix if you will ;)
For some reason I feel I can't relate to this generation as I can remember how it was before and perhaps think we would be better off living a slower pace (faxes rather than email, stopping for directions instead of GPS, taking the time to write a letter rather than shoot off a quick email). | I'm getting old. Anyone else feel ridiculously disconnected from the generations preceding you? |
t3_38momy | offmychest | I'm worried. | I'm incredibly worried about my younger cousins; I have been for some time, but tonight it's different. Today their father killed himself. Their parents have been separated for some time, and my cousins have been living with their mom and grandma out in the country for a while. I'm not even sure if they know yet.
I suppose what scares me most is the oldest of my two cousins has fairly serious mental health issues. He was diagnosed with depression and ADHD, and has been taking all kinds of medications to treat these diseases for 3/12 years of his life.
The younger of the pair also frightens me. She is intensely emotional, and struggles with expressing them.
It's a long story I suppose.
If anyone has some good advice or experience, I'd love to hear it. I'm wondering if there's even anything I can do. | My uncle killed himself today, leaving behind his ex-wife and two children who struggle with depression and coping with their parents divorce. I need help. |
t3_15wwk3 | relationship_advice | (18/m) Blew chances of telling long term friend (18/f) how I really felt on new years eve. Not sure if I should go for it still. | Typing this on my phone which means this will probably be unintelligible once I have done typing.
I spent this new years with friends from my previous school including the girl I've been chasing for the past 3 years. It was a house party and after screwing up my chances at new years eve by being socially awkward and being my usual introverted self, I tried to redeem myself by getting close to this girl for the rest of the night.
Long story short, we watched a couple movies and when everything had died down, by this time I did have my arm around her and was having a pretty great time, I decided to sleep with my arm around her and try to talk to her and try and see where it went. Of course, I seized up and just couldn't get the conversation going. We slept next to each other for the rest of the night being reasonably sober and when it came to the morning, she couldn't even look me in the eye before she left.
I'm sure there is something there but I'm not sure if she is pissed that I don't try anything or just isn't that into me. I want to actually see how she really feels, but don't know what to say. | not sure if one-night spoon or something more serious. |
t3_3823i0 | tifu | TIFU by scaring the shit out of my friends | So this happened just today. We're in highschool and me and my three friends (lets call them Bob, Steven and Tong) were eating lunch and chilling. We were making fun of Bob as we usually do and then Tong brings up the topic of the Charlie, Charlie pencil game (if you don't know what it is then go on youtube). We all tried it except for Bob and the pencil didn't move. So we all persuaded Bob to join in and I had this amazing thought. What if I just scared the shit out of my friends.
Now, Tong and Bob were paranoid from this game for some weird reason and get scared easily. So when Bob said Charlie, Charlie come play with me, I decided to quietly blow the pencil to 'Yes'. Tong started screaming and ran so fast around the corner. Bob was probably scared as crap because it only worked for him, and Steven and I are just laughing our asses off.
Me and my friends calmed down and we all started trying it for ourselves. Steven, Tong and I tried it and I blew it to 'No' all 3 times. Then Bob tried it again and i blew it to 'Yes'.
My friends were scared shitless. I would be surprised if Tong comes to school tommorow.
**They believe that if it says 'Yes', you have to hide from the paper for three hours or Charlie will find you (I'm not even joking) | Scared the living shit out of my friends playing Charlie Charlie pencil game and I will be surprised if they come to school tommorow. |
t3_1srhkz | relationships | My (23F) emotional immaturity is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend (26m) of 1 year. Where can I find online resources to become more independent and less clingy? | I have an amazing, intelligent, sweet, thoughtful sexy boyfriend who I love. However, lately (due to various reasons) I have been emotionally insecure and find myself clinging to him. I am not giving him the space he needs, I get unreasonably angry with him when he has other commitments, and any tiny thing he does feels like rejection to me. For example, if he says he has to go, can't talk on the phone while at work, etc. Emotionally, I rely on him to solve all my problems, and I know this is not right.
Where can I find info or resources for personal growth so that I don't feel the need to rely on him all the time? | Help me become less clingy and emotionally insecure, because I don't want to lose my amazing boyfriend. |
t3_de2fr | relationships | Am I being unreasonable? | (Throwaway btw.)
I'm 20, female, and have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Today I found out that he smokes weed about twice a week which bothers me on some levels.
Now, I'm expecting a lot of you to say that he can do whatever the hell he wants and I have no control over him (which I don't and I agree with that stand), but when we first started dating I made it clear that I didn't want to be involved with anyone who did smoke, along with many other things. Everyone has their lists on what they want and don't, and being a nonsmoker was one of them.
Through out the beginning of our relationship, he would tell me that he used to smoke but didn't anymore. He said that he had stopped before even knowing me. I didn't find any reason to not believe him so I took his word for it. Didn't turn out to be the case.
So, I guess my problem is that I don't know if I have a right to be angry with him. When I found out, I confronted him about it and he basically confessed and said that I can't control him and that I'm being unreasonable. I seriously just believed that he didn't smoke, because he *told me so*. I'm pretty upset. I'm more upset about the fact that he lied about it for 2 years than anything else. Leaves me thinking that maybe he's lying about other things. | Boyfriend lied about smoking and tells me I'm being unreasonable about getting upset. |
t3_4g8sow | relationships | How can I (21 F) show my SO (28 M) how much I appreciate him? | I'm (21 F) currently going through some hard times. I recently left my abusive home and am now on my own. My parents used to pay for my college housing (tuition was covered by grants) but now I'm basically on my own to figure that out for my last year of school and for after that. Besides schoolwork, I've been trying to get as many hours as I can at work so that I can save up to buy a car, which I will need to get to my summer job. I'm also saving up to be able to afford rent for the next school year, which in my area is unbelievably expensive.
My boyfriend (28 M) has been extremely supportive of everything. He helped me out with my apartment dues for this quarter of school, and also has been helping me look for cars and apartments. He offered me a place to stay during the summer so I could save money. He's also been paying for pretty much all of our dates. I know that he makes a pretty good amount of money and that he can afford doing these things, but I still appreciate it so much.
What kind of things can I do to show him how much I love him? I do my best to make sure he feels loved, like cook dinner for him when he comes over, be affectionate, make sure he's sexually satisfied, etc. But I want to do something special for him that really shows how special he is to me, and how much I appreciate everything he's doing for me. Any ideas? | What kind of things can I do for my SO to show him how much he means to me? |
t3_32186t | relationships | My flatmate [21 M] excessively loud gf, how to stop?! | So I live in a house of 7 people, 3 couples (21M/23F, 21M/19F, 21M/18F) and a single guy (21M). Recently Mr single has found himself a Mrs. And she is LOUD.
We have a big house, But you can still hear her from the other side of the house, from outside, and to make it worse, when they do stay in his room, he has the centre bedroom. They have been caught having sex in our lounge, kitchen, and the main bathroom (kinda forgivable, except for the noise as it backs on the main living area).
Every time we have talked to him he gets all defensive and starts yelling. "Stop attacking her! I love her! Your jealous!". He will not listen to reason. Somehow the other 3 couples have lived together with no one hearing or seeing the others private life (and we are not trying to be quiet). I have had the other girls come and say sorry for the noise last night, and have no idea what the are talking about.
To make it worse, the 4 boys have been BFF since primary school, and so they are like brothers and don't want to break that.
It's at the point were Mr was single, is talking about moving the Banshee in. Any ideas on how to make him see that we just want them to be more considerate and not are not attacking his gf?? | Flatemate is making everyone uncomfortable with his sex antics, and won't listen to reason. Any ideas?? |
t3_2au7ub | relationships | I (20F) am still good friends with my ex (25M). We're both in a relationship, but last night he started trying to sext me. What should I do? | We've been friends since we broke up almost 3 years ago and this is the first time he's tried anything like this. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with it.
He said: "tell me you don't like me talking dirty to you and mean it and I'll stop."
Me: "we both have someone. Regardless of whether or not I like it, its still wrong"
Him: "you should consider your boredom and my own and the little bit of thrill this beings. Besides its nothing but words"
Me: "a couple years ago, I might've believed that. But behind the words is intent. And emotions. And attraction. Words can quickly turn into actions, and even though I might still have feelings for you, I'm not in a position where I can let those feeling manifest into anything more, regardless of how small they may seem."
He then complimented me on how much I had grown since we dated and went to bed. Did I handle this correctly? What else should I do? I don't want to ruin our friendship because of this. Its the first time he's done anything remotely like this. Advice? | ex and I have been friends since we broke up almost 3 years ago. He tried to sext me last night, even though we both have partners. Advice on what to do. |
t3_365915 | relationships | Me [19 F] with my[19 M] 8 months strong, Is it bad that I...? | My boyfriend and I have had a strong relationship we've had are arguments but they go away within a day easily because of our strong communication , but recently we've had a big argument over something that effected me 3 years ago and it's caused him to ignore me for almost two days now and I'm in panic mode.
I understand the whole "men need time alone", and I have given him space but, I'm unsure if I fucked up by sending him a goodnight text to him and a reminder that I loved and missed him.He usually responds to them but this time nothing... | Did I fuck up sending my boyfriend a Goodnight I miss and love you text message after a big argument? |
t3_2vplfm | Advice | I think I suck at my job. | Now I make mistakes sometimes. Usually fine detail mistakes, like a typo in an important place. Or not knowing that someone put training equipment on a truck and I dispatch it on a job. I would say I could tack up one good mistake per month working.
I just came out of a meeting where I was told that mistakes were not acceptable in my position. It was intimidating because I know I will continue to make them.
I have worked the job I have for eight months, sort of. I was in logistics for 7 months. Then got moved to sales as a supervisor in January, which are really two totally different careers. But not to my GM. He asserted that after 8 months I should have all the mistakes out of my system.
Other than that I do very well. My sales are great. My customer service is top rated. I solved or diffused any number of problems daily in logistics. Of course, the one you miss is the one that gets noted, but that's just how it works.
Fact: I'm not detail oriented. I have to write everything down. My mind naturally moves to big picture questions and goes into auto-pilot fog when it's looking at data or double checking numbers. Sometimes I just straight up forget things.
So what is a reasonable expectation for an employee? Is human error okay? Does it just happen? Does my fight to focus on details mean I can't do detailed jobs to meet career standards? I've been guilty before of believing I really suck at life after things people told me, and had some therapy for it. So I really want to know what a fair standard or "norm" is that I can abide by. | Should human error be expected sometimes in the workplace? Is a manager with "no tolerance" for error being unfair or simply having healthy standards for his company? |
t3_4le58z | relationships | My [30 F] boyfriend [25 M] of 14 months, we are considering moving in together in a home that I own. What's the best way to split expenses? | My boyfriend and I are discussing moving in together in the fall when his lease is up. We've been together for just over a year.
We both make a similar salary. He makes about $2K more than I do. We have been discussing how to share expenses and split the bills. We are both open to communication and discussion on this life change.
Expect is a strong word here, but I would expect this would be a landlord-tenant style relationship in the sense that I would cover all household expenses related to home maintenance. Plumbing, electrical, roofing, appliances ... If anything breaks, then that's on me. With regards to bills we both contribute to (water, electricity, internet, etc), I'd expect to split those down the middle. With regards to the monthly payment, I'd also expect to split that down the middle. The reason for that is that it's a reasonable amount that's about equivalent to his current apartment rent. If we were to find a place to rent together, the expectation would be that we'd split a rent payment 50/50. I see the house as a shared space so I think it's reasonable that we share the expense of the house.
On the other hand, I will be building equity in the home and he will not. However, I did put down $60K of my own money when I purchased the house. | Boyfriend and I are considering moving into the home I own. We have almost identical salaries. What is reasonable for splitting the expenses? |
t3_1jhf23 | relationships | Me[19M] pissed off with my [19F] over sickness (long term relationship) | So to keep it as brief as possible I have been dating my SO for coming up 5 years now, every things been great yadayada.
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Two weeks ago I came down with viral meningitis and was administered to hospital for a couple of nights. She became slightly unwell during this time and was unable to visit me which is fine.
--
However,to confirm my meningitis I had a lumbar puncture and following this procedure I have had a case of spinal headaches related to the puncture which has been going on for coming up to 2 weeks now. I have been bed ridden as getting out of bed (sitting or standing) makes me nauseas to the point of vomiting, dizzy and begins my headaches. This is not contagious and every day I am slowly improving but one thing has been bugging me, my girlfriend has not come to see me even once throughout this whole ordeal and blew off plans to have her come for a short visit this weekend.
---
Now perhaps I'm being selfish or what have you but is it wrong to have expected her to visit me once throughout this, I mean she hasn't even been in for 5 minutes just to 'see how I'm going' or anything. She's phoned me maybe 4 times, two of those were to blow off plans and honestly I've had more text contact with a guy friend of mine who lives on the other side of the country.
---
Do I have a right to be angry here? | GF of 5 years hasn't come to visit me in 2 weeks (nearly 3) of being bed ridden, should I be mad? |
t3_2brk60 | relationships | My boyfriend and I have a lot of differences, and it's been getting to me. | I'm 20F, he's 25M.
I'm scared. We love each other a lot, and we both want to someday live together in a big city loft...our dream home. We talk about our future all the time, but we've only been together less than a year. I love being with him, but I fear that we won't be able to move-in together until I'm out of med school. Even then, I don't know if my residency will even be near him or if he can relocate.
My mother made a remark about him to me last week, saying that he "didn't seem intellectual" and that "it would start to bother [me]". I assume she is speaking from her own relationship experience, since my dad was more "intellectual" than she was. This comment has really started getting to me over this past week. That said, my mom and dad definitely didn't have a relationship like ours, since theirs was semi-arranged.
My boyfriend is smart in his own way, but we don't share the same type of intelligence. He doesn't like watching science-themed shows or movies, and lately I've been getting tired of watching his sappy-happy, formulaic feel-good movies. We do try to take turns picking movies, but I can't even pick anything foreign because he can't keep up with the subtitles. This winds up eliminating a ton of my favorites. Plus, if I do pick something he wouldn't like, I feel bad about it the entire time.
Hell, we're not even the same when it comes to neatness. I'm wayyy messier.
That said, we have the best kinky sex in which we both try to accommodate each others' kinks, and he treats me like his princess. We both strive for success in our careers. He's done amazing spontaneously romantic things. He's often said that our differences keep the relationship interesting.
I'm planning to talk with him about all this (albeit not as frankly), but I just need to know what you guys think: is it possible to keep a relationship going with all these differences? Especially one that is going to be long-distance? | We don't like the same kinds of movies at all. We don't agree on whether someday we'd want children. We have differing politics and are going to be long-distance. I want to know if we can work around these things, because I'd really want to. |
t3_2fjez6 | offmychest | It really bugs me that everyone around me is getting married and having kids but me. | Yeah, I know it really isn't that big, and I'm not saying it is. It's just irritating!
I've never actually been "behind" since I've always known I want to study and get married and have kids at a young age and I didn't think I were. I am actually one of the youngest in my class (I study at a university, at my third semester) and my BF and I are planning on having kids as soon as I have got my degree - so... I guessed I was actually quite up front.
But apparently all his friends (who are the same age as us) are all married or engaged or either has kids or plans to. I still stick with my choices about finishing my study first and then having children, but the fact every second conversation I have with my BF is "X and X are getting married", "X and X are buying a house", "I know we are having kids early, but X and X are probably having them before us" - or even when his mother starts to "When are you two finally having kids? I already had them when I was your age".
It irritates me!
This actually also lead to a whole other thing that I have to get off my chest:
I have a really hard time felling happy for others. I hate myself for it, but everytime I hear for example "they are getting married" I am feeling jealous and irritated, but not happy at all. I of course pretend to be happy about it, because I don't want my BF to know what a jealous freak I am, and I really feel ashamed about it. | I am having jealousy problems and I feel ashamed about it. |
t3_1d26n0 | relationships | Am I being ridiculous for being upset that my boyfriend [30M] would rather bring family (that he is not close to) to his graduation rather than me [28F]? | Some background: Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year. We attend different schools 5 hours apart. It was rough in the beginning because of the distance, but everything is great now. We text throughout the day and talk on the phone/skype every night. We see each other anywhere from every two weeks to once a month. We love each other very much. We are both graduating in May and plan on moving to the same city this summer.
To the heart of the matter: He only has 6 tickets for his graduation. I told him I understand if he wants to bring his family. But I can't help but feel hurt that I don't "take precendence" over some of the family members he isnt close with. He doesn't come from the most stable families, and has been on his own pretty much since he was 18. Idk why family members he doesn't even really talk to get a ticket while me, his girlfriend, arguably the one person most involved in his everyday life, doesn't get invited.
In fact, he hasn't even explicitly said he wants me come down there graduation weekend. Every time I bring it up, he says he doesn't know what the plans are. He hasnt told me not to come though. If the tables were turned, he would be the first person I would want at my graduation. Am I wrong for being hurt about not getting a ticket? | Boyfriend would rather have family members he is not close with attend his graduation rather than me, his girlfriend. It makes me sad. |
t3_3c8917 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend[23M] of almost 2 years, he has started telling really small lies, should I be worried? | So far in the past couple of days, I've caught him in two. I don't think he has ever really done this before but I'm not sure.
1. I asked him to pass me chips that we were beside him if he hadn't eaten them all. He responded by saying "don't eat them in the bed" and then "I ate them all". Sure enough, he didn't.
2. I like to open the vent at night all the way so it doesn't get hot but sometimes he doesn't. I went to go open it and he suddenly was like "it's already cold in here" as I was standing up (it's on the ceiling) and he blurts out "I already opened it"
I just worry that since he's suddenly lying about small things, it could be a sign that he's picking up the habit from having to lie about big things or if he would. I have really bad relationship anxiety as it is, so I don't know if I'm just being paranoid.
I tried bringing it up to him, explaining how little lies that damper my trust and he responded with "it was just chips and I didn't feel like looking" and got pretty pissy about it because he doesn't see how it's a big deal.
I know people regularly tell small lies. That it's human nature but this just seems weird to me. It's not even like he's lying about things he's trying to cover up or really keep hidden. It's stuff that there's no way he could think he'd really get away with for more than an hour or two. It's the weird nature of the lies that really makes me wonder. Like they're just causal.
Besides the lies, he seems to be acting normal. | Boyfriend started telling really random lies that makes no sense about things as small as eating all the chips. Being as I have bad relationship anxiety, I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if I should be worried that it's a sign he's lying about something big therefore getting in the habit of lying. |
t3_2e8zan | relationships | My boyfriend (age 22) of 5 months can't handle how many sexual partners I (female - age 23) have had. | I've been with 29 other people, and he brings it up almost every day. I've also had a threesome, which he talks about constantly. He feels like he can't please me sexually (even though I always tell him that isn't so. He is one of the only people I've been to orgasm with, and it's the best sex I've ever had) because I've had so many partners who HE thinks I liked more than him.
We have long discussions on this topic (which turn into arguments) at least once a week. It's so frustrating. He constantly wants to look at my facebook messages because he thinks I must be cheating on him. He doesn't believe that I can want to be in a relationship after sleeping with so many people. I'm not sure how I can get this through his head or if it's even possible. This hasn't just started either; it's been going on basically since the beginning of the relationship.
I'm just not sure what to do. The relationship would be perfect if it weren't for his jealousy and insecurity. I am just not sure if these things can be changed. When we're not talking about this stuff, we have a good relationship. These conversations make me SO angry though! He always threatens to break up with me, says I'm not showing him enough attention in public (wtf?), says that we don't have enough sex (twice a day isn't enough?), says that I don't do enough for him...and then he starts talking about the past again and all the people I slept with. He wants me to delete pictures of past exes on facebook because he doesn't want to see me having fun with other guys. What the hell?
There are just so many red flags, and I KNOW this. I know I should probably break up with him. It makes me mad even typing all this stuff out. I guess I just needed to vent, really.... I haven't told anyone else about this because I don't have many friends. | Dating a crazy guy who thinks I don't pay enough attention to him and can't handle the fact that I've slept with so many people. I should break up with him, right? |
t3_25jw0p | relationship_advice | My [M/27] FWB [F/28] suddenly stopped talking to me. I tried reaching out and got very little in return, think I should just stop bothering. | * | FWB starts ignoring me. Says everything is okay but continues ignoring me. Thoughts? |
t3_2fumiw | relationships | Me [22 M] and my best friend [22F] got into a relationship - I need help | We have been best friends since high school, we talked about everything and everybody and always had a good time together. She was the perfect "best friend", someone who would stay with you, the rest of your life. And then we got even closer. She fell in love with me, I couldnt hurt her so we started to evolve into a couple. The relationship has been official for a few months now, but we have been acting like a couple for over a year. I fear any advice might be too late.
The thing is: I like her, but I want to be single ( - doesn't really have to make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to me)
I am old enough to know, that if I would break up with her I will lose her and our lives will seperate, but I really want her to be a part of mine.
I regret that I was too weak to say "no" to her, for our friendships sake.
But I know she is perfect for me, would be the perfect wife, but I am not ready for this. I now wish I would have met her in a few years, when I would actually be looking for that special someone.
I don't know what to do right now. I am happy when I'm with her, but I feel that there will be an end to the relationship (maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, who knows).
Is there any possible way I wont lose her as soon as this is over? Can we somehow manage to stay friends? Does anybody have any experience or advice for me? | Got into a relationship with my best friend, but I feel that it has a deadline - looking for help cause I don't want to lose her. |
t3_10c3sd | AskReddit | Reddit, as a person who was raised as a Catholic, but never really following or believing in religion itself, which version of the Bible would you consider someone to read? | Putting it out there, I recently graduated with a Biology degree, so I have a fairly good understanding of Evolution and how it shows flaws in what the Bible has said about the earth and civilization. I mean, I know points that sound obviously out of ordinary to me, but I don't know what it really says about it. I have always had my thoughts, being biased against religion itself due to what I've seen and heard since childhood; however, I feel like I should determine the specific positives and negatives so I have my own personal thoughts on Christianity, rather than what is said from random Christians and Non-Christians. Does anyone have a recommendation on which version of the Bible that is most "factual" to what was read to create the Western world that we have today? I know there is the Old and New Testaments, but is there one that is best to read? The one from Crossings, Church or a kids book store? Honestly, when I argue with people about the subject, I think I know what I'm saying, but I honestly don't.
Sorry if it's a stupid question and hopefully I'm not offending anyone because I'm not trying to. I just want to justify my ideas and be able to have a civilized debate/conversation with someone who believes or does not believe in the Christian faith. And if this should be posted in /r/Atheism or /r/Christianity, I'm sorry again, but I feel like those have an obvious biased crowd, so posting in /r/AskReddit made more sense so people who are subscribed to those subreddits can see this, maybe. Cheers! | Person that doesn't know shit about Christianity and wants to know which version of the Bible I should read |
t3_3en8tz | relationships | My Dad [45 M] is maybe cheating with a girl [~30 F] Am I Paranoid? | Hi, I'm [18 M]
So i went on the family computer to print out whatever.
I wen't to the 'logs' to see what site i was on yesterday,
in order to print out whatever.
On the logs i found loads of facebook logs and something
catched my eye. A girls name. Seemed suspicious.
I search her name through the logs and get around ~80 hits.
All going back a good 2-3 months.
I searched the girl up on facebook. She was in her 25-30's
looking very *suspiciously* good. She only had 50 friends.
70% of the friends was people like my dad. the other 30%
was good looking girls like her.
She is not from the same country if that matters.
My Mom and Dad have been married for a good 20 years,
and things looks to be alright with them.
Do i confront my dad about this? Tell my Mom?
I don't wanna set anything in motion if its nothing really.
Do i get my dad's facebook password. Check the messages
and block her from his account? Idk :/
Is my dad cheating or Am I Paranoid? | Found sketchy facebook logs, is my dad cheating? |
t3_4t5ycz | relationships | Me [28 M] with my groomsmen 5 [27-30 M] duration, don't seem to care that much. I think I might be expecting too much? | So I am getting married in a few short weeks to a wonderful girl. I have 5 groomsmen and the bachelor party is already planned. We've rented a cabin and are going up for a night where we will visit a few breweries, and basically get wasted and play video games. My issue is, that like they don't seem to care all that much. Like, I helped pay for the cabin, and that's fine I get it, it wasn't much ($50). But I had to basically convince my best man, that he should help pay for dinner with everyone else. On top of that, we made a FB group and I am like the only one posting about it. They just don't seem to care that much. Am I being a bit of a drama king here? | Friends don't seem to care about bachelor party, am I just being crazy? |
t3_2t51s9 | relationships | My Boyfriend [15m] Broke up with Me [17f] and is spreading Rumors about me. I don't want to break up, Help? | I asked about this before but didnt really get any help :/ My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me last weekend, and now he's spreading rumors about me around school. He's saying that I'm psycho/crazy and a bunch of stuff. What happened that led to the breakup is that some girl was texting him saying flirty stuff, he wasn't flirting back but she wasn't being appropriate at all and she knew he had a girlfriend.
I read some of these texts, I didn't go through his phone or anything. He left it in his room when he was in another and he got a text and I was going to bring it to him but it was from a girl so I just checked it. I didnt respond but I texted her from my phone and asked who she was and why she's texting my boyfriend and she told my boyfriend that i read their conversation and texted her.
Then he asked me about it and I just said I was worried and he said I'm overprotective and crazy and stuff and I got really upset with him and he broke up with me. I want to try to stay together but he pretty much hates me now, and he still talks to this girl, i saw in his twitter messages thing and I don't want them to end up dating or something. What can I do about the rumors and this whole situation? I really don't want to break up and I think he just did it out of anger. | My boyfriend broke up with me for texting a girl that was sending flirty stuff to him, and he's telling prople that i'm crazy and read through his stuff. I don't want to break up at all. |
t3_bg4v9 | relationship_advice | I don't know if I should believe him. | I'm an exchange student in a foreign country and in the group of exchanges there is this guy, he's cute but I didn't really notice him until he helped me out with when I was breaking up with my boyfriend. It's not what it sounds like, he actually advised me to stay with him. And we became friends, not super close.. but yeah, closer.
Then his birthday came around maybe like a month later and we both got drunk and he asked me to kiss him, we made out.. then he left and we didn't talk about it. The next weekend it happened again, but before it did I asked him why, he said because he liked me a lot. We left the club and went to watch a movie, we made out through it and he asked me if I thought I was ready for a relationship, I answered honestly and said no, plus we'd have to go back to our own countries soon, (3 months from now).
We went on a date then back to our countries for Christmas and that was it. But I was the one who suggested we meet.
The day before, it happened all over again, we went out got a little tipsy, and he started declaring his love. It was a little silly, but he kept insisting that the wasn't that drunk (I've seen him much worse) and that he just didn't know how to say this any other way. He asked me out. I was a little taken aback. I said we'd talk about it later.
But the next morning, nothing.
I'm really sick of this cycle. We make out, then we ignore the subject. I want to believe everything he says and believe him that he's using the alcohol as a means to express his feelings. But the sensible part of me doubts it. So I asked him if we could meet up to talk about it as it was silly that we haven't ever talked about it, and he agreed.
My question is, am I silly in asking him to talk about it? Should I just leave it and have some self control around him?
I thought when you like someone you make an effort to try to be with them. He only seems to be interested in me when he's had a few. | This guy only declares love when he's drunk, should I just walk away from the whole situation or find out if he's using the drink as a way to express his feelings. |
t3_2py5xe | relationships | I [15f] am falling for my friend [16m]. It's very complicated. Please help. | I had to get surgery on my finger after a freak accident a couple months ago. I asked a male acquaintance if he would carry my books for me the last two periods of the day until I could do it myself.
This went on for almost 3 weeks. We became very good friends. That's when it got more serious...
He started telling me about his stresses, his home life, and especially problems with his gf. He is currently in a committed (as much as you can be in high school) relationship with a girl I respect.
He told me recently that she doesn't worry that we are friends because we aren't compatible. I feel stupid to confess it upset me.
He keeps playing games with me. He will tickle my back or pull my hair, and will even go along with this joke that he's stalking me. We have 5 out of 7 classes together plus lunch- which basically means I see him all day. It's unbearable.
I don't want to hurt his relationship, but I don't want to be hurt. | taken boy has my affections after becoming my friend, says we aren't compatible but always flirts, is confusing the hell out of me. |
t3_14kl94 | AskReddit | When have you followed the sketchy-sounding advice of your parents whilst knowing the outcome could be messy? (Oh, and, did taking their advice work?) | I have quite a few piercings in my ears, and recently, two of my fully healed lobe piercings - both over 6/7 years old - got infected out of the blue. Oozing pus, crusty scabbing, scabby crusting, the works. Having never dealt with infections like this, I sought the guidance of my mother. What did she advise me to do? "Visit the doctor for antibiotic cream later, but for now, put these in your ears... they won't irritate them as much as other jewelry." She proceeded to go to my dad's tea collection, picked out two tiny sticks of tea, and handed them to me.
Let's just hope this turns out okay... | Mom told me to stick tea into my earlobes. I stuck tea into my earlobes. |
t3_11t1bp | relationships | After almost a year of being together I[21m] can not do just about anything without SO[20f] losing it and berating me for not paying utmost attention to her endless messages and calls. | My girlfriend [20f] suffers from anxiety which she uses as leverage for her to constantly message me whenever I [21m] am not doing something with her, at work or at school.
Anything from going to have dinner with my mother, to going out with my friends on a saturday night. Being a full time student and working full time, I have very little time to myself to begin with, and if she can't be a part of it, she does crazy things to distract or destroy the plans that I do have.
I have quite a tough skin, and can handle most situations thrown at me well. I have let her continually do this, and just shrugged it off as her just wanting to be with me and missing me, but has turned into a game of "what is she going to do this time"
Last night I went to my good friends wedding and out to the reception and then out afterwards and for the entirety of the night she was texting me, calling me, getting angry at me that I'm not answering(If I wanted to sit on my phone all night and talk to her, I would have stayed home) and eventually leads to another fight ending at 5am with me pleading her to stop pushing the issue and to let us go to sleep and talk the next day, to then have her continue and me telling her that I can't handle this anymore and telling her we shouldn't be together anymore.
Talking to her this morning she subtly threatens me that us breaking up is going to send her off the deep end and it will destroy her and that unless I don't want her to ever get better I should not break up with her. I have kept my cool and listened, but I just can't get a hold on what is going on and what to do.
If anyone has any thoughts or insight about how to go forward they would be very much appreciated. | Girlfriend can not let me do anything not involving her without blowing up and uses her anxiety to justify. |
t3_3xj9nt | relationships | Are my (22F) boyfriend's (28M) financial expectations of me fair? | We have been dating for just under a year and living together for 2 months.
Previoisly, I was living alone and paying about $900 a month in rent/utilities/Internet ect combined. Now that we've moved in together, I'm paying about $1500 just for my half. He insisted on such a nice place.
The thing is, he makes twice as much as I do (4k per month versus 8k), so this is a lot bigger burden on me. I accepted that, even though most people I know do it 60/40 in that situation.
Here's the two kickers- he's going away for work for 2 months (during which they will pay his travel) and he doesn't think he should have to pay rent those two months since he won't be here. That means I will have to pay $3,000 a month.
The other kicker- He is moving across the country in about 6 months and really wants me to come with. He will be buying a house there. This was in his plans before he even met me. He expects me to help with the down payment and pay half the mortgage in rent to him, but my name will not be on the house. He will be getting all the equity. Ive mentioned that I probably won't be able to find a job for a few months and that I probably couldn't afford that right off the bat until I'm settled in there... He said I should manage my money better and be able to afford that. I MANAGED MY MONEY FINE UNTIL I MET HIM, AND IM ONLY 22 I SHOULDNT BE MAKING DOWN PAYMENTS.
I don't mind paying some rent, but I think half the mortgage on a really nice house and helping with the down payment is unfair, especially since I would be giving up my job and my life here for him. If I wasn't around he'd be buying the house anyway.
Am I being unreasonable? Or is he? | My boyfriend makes twice what I do but expects me to match his lifestyle and split everything 50/50? |
t3_21lm7w | AskReddit | What's a good way to make some cash apart from my job? | I'm talking maybe doing something from my computer. I am saving up for a PC with a job but I don't get many hours. I live in the UK.
The PC I'm looking for is about £430 plus a game. I have close to £200 from what I earned from this month and am looking to maybe earn some money on the side before next month to be sure I can afford it.
I'm in the dumps right now and It's the only thing I have been looking forward to but I won't be able to afford it without a little effort somewhere else but my temp job as a bartender. | Is there anything I can make some real money doing without getting a new job before next month? |
t3_195edw | relationships | [19M] My girlfriend [19F] always wants to be at home. | Were both university students that live with our parents and have been dating for two years. For the most part things are great and we love each other a lot however since we first started dating I don't get to see her as much as I like because she always wants to be at home with her parents. This isn't just a problem with me, she barely has any friends anymore because she always turns down plans so she can be at home.
I ask her to hang out 2-3 times a week. Most of the time though she just responds that she is going to "stay at home that day". I could understand that if she never got to relax at home but the problem is she is at her house all the time since she has no hobbies, job, or friends.
Sometimes we go swimming, bowling, snowboarding or other things and she has a great time and says we should do that again, but then whenever I ask her to go do them again she turns down the idea.
Therefore usually when we do hang out we end up at either my house or her's. I wouldn't mind this too much except she doesn't like watching movies or TV, playing video games or board games. So there's nothing to do but lie around. Additionally her Parents don't allow sleep overs or staying past 9. | Girlfriend always has a great time when we hang out but barely ever wants to leave her house. When we do hang out at her house she doesn't like doing anything there. |
t3_2edfal | pettyrevenge | Guy was a dick while I was ringing him up | Well, I work at a store that sells protein, vitamins and other supplements so we usually have samples of different preworkouts, proteins, etc - we also give out free magazines.
I greeted the guy and said "hey, how's it going, man?" He ignored it and told me to search his name in the system in a very douchey way and said how he's Anthony **SENIOR**, not junior..and he usually repeats himself (he comes in fairly often) another eight times to make sure I understand because it's a difficult task to
grasp.
He then demanded and said, "give me a magazine" (once again, the tone of this guys voice just made me want to punch him. I enjoy speaking to nice people and am a genuinely kind person myself) and I asked, "what?" He said "lemme get a magazine" and, mind you, they're also directly in front of his face.
Ultimately, he asked if we had any samples and I said "NOPE, nothing good" which was a lie because we just received a whole shit ton. Fuck that guy. Why can't people just be nice? It makes everyone's day better. | Guy was a douche, asked for some store samples, I said we didn't have even though we had a fuck ton...heh hehh |
t3_1iouq4 | relationships | Me[16/M] with my partner (not truely dating) [16/F] of a yearish. Swimming in underwear with other guys? | So i'm a junior in highschool, and my non official girlfriend (also a junior) and i have different friend groups so we never really hang out much and i don't know her friends. so yesterday she told me that she went swimming in just her underwear (a thong and a bra) with a bunch of her friends (guys and girls). Now i'm not sure if the other people were in their underwear but she told me that this was only a week ago. Should i be concerned? Might she do it again? This is the first incident of it but I'm pretty jealous and upset with her. The only reason that she told me this was because I was at a small party and got drunk and decided to take a shower at 4am and 2 girls walked in. So naturally, as soon as i got home i told her what happened and that i felt bad and then she told me this, so she had been keeping it a secret for a week. How should i react to this? | Partner went swimming with friends of both genders in underwear, what do i do? |
t3_fn1ev | self | I can't believe it's been one year already. Thank you for being awesome, reddit. | Since a friend showed me this site, my life has noticeably changed, and you all are partially the cause. But to be sure, I'd like to thank each of my subreddits individually.
Pics: Need I say more? You always provide a laugh and are great for distracting me from my homework.
Reddit.com: My primary source of news. You guys are awesome, and if something important happens somewhere in the world, you will surely cover it.
IAmA: Never have I seen such a wonderful group of people willing to put themselves out there for people to satiate their curiosity. I have learned a lot from you all and I have a new found respect for ALL people.
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU: I hadn't heard of rage comics before coming to reddit, and now they might just be my new favorite art form. Not only is the community hilarious, but the ability for people to take little jokes and run with them is awesome. /r/Inglip was hilarious at first as a single comic and grew to 10,000 subscribers in a matter of days. Awesome.
Atheism: You guys are why I am open about my atheism. (At least as open as I can be as an atheist in Kansas). I was an atheist before I came to this website, but I didn't know it, and I couldn't hold my own in an argument. Thank you for giving me the confidence and knowledge to help stand up for what I think is right.
Minecraft: Sorry guys. Can't talk. Too busy punching trees.
Comics: This may seem a bit odd, but I now follow 7 webcomics. If it hadn't been for you, I probably would never have found Hyperbole and a Half, which is probably my second favorite website on the Internet. So thanks. | You guys rock. I've enjoyed this first year, and I can't wait to see what the future holds. Thanks again. |
t3_3mc2qk | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Ex/Notex/Whateverthefuckishappening [17 F] met yesterday the first time after the breakup | Hey guys!
i have a problem.
PROLOG:
about Three weeks ago my girlfriend with which i had a 11 month relationship broke up with me because she will move away,and cause of her psychological Problems and because she dont know why.
she was for about 3 month in a mental hospital until last week because she has depression and now she will move for 3 month in a Hospital in 2 other cities here in Germany and after that for 3 Month to Iceland
2 days ago i decided to have sex again with an other girl and it was really bad (physical and emotionally)
THE MEETING FROM YESTERDAY
we didnt contact each other since the breakup and she wrote me
via Facebook that she wants to meet me to discuss everything
so we met in my home and discussed a bit and she found out that i had sex with someone else because i had a teared open condom package and there where cigarette fags with red lipstick in my ashtray(i wanted to tell it her later,but whatever) after that she telled me that she also had sex a week before with a friend of her. Then i was jealous and she was also jealous but tried to act like she is not jealous (she confessed it later)
We talked about our future and she meant that she dont know but she cannot be without me and that she cant be in a relationship with me.
After that we spend the day with cuddling,having Sex and watching The X-Files and she said the whole day long that she missed this
THE PROBLEM
Now i dont have any clue how i should react to it and i could think about our future or how i could heal my jealousy, it seems that she cannot be in a relationship with me,but she also cannot be not in a relationship with me. | Girlfriend broke up,met again now she cannot be with me in a relationship and cannot not be in a relationship with me and i an uncertain future |
t3_1973za | dating_advice | I (23m) Met a Girl (22?) She's Really Cool. How Do I Show Interest? | I recently went to a formal dinner party. The night was filled with good eats, dancing, and drinking. Late into the night, a group of my friends went to a diner down the street. I joined in since my date left. There, I met this gorgeous girl. We sat next to each other at the table, conversed, and laughed at social situations around us. I was extraordinarily drunk at the time, but my buddies said I was coherent, and the normal hits and misses of jokes. We left the diner in good spirits. I would like to say I left a good impression, and added her on the Bookface.
Dating is completely new to me. Never did it in high school nor in college. I've become a very blunt, straight forward person. The subtleties involved can be misinterpreted, so I just blatantly say, "I like you." in recent times. This gets me in trouble on occasion. I am trying to wrap my head around introducing myself to her as, "Hey, I'm interested in you more than friends," but not be so front heavy with the message to where it's overbearing. At the same time, I have been friendzoned because of inaction. So what do I do in this case? | Went to diner after a party, met girl, was drunk and charming, want to date, what do? |
t3_44ijxk | relationships | Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of a year, he is deciding whether or not to break up with me | We got in an argument yesterday, it escalated and he didn't speak to me all night. I came over to his place this morning and we tried to work it out but we didn't really get anywhere. He feels like he can't ask for space without me making it a big deal, which is true and something I'm working on, because I tend to feel like if he asks for space it's because he doesn't want to see me and it makes me feel really bad, when in reality he might just be busy or something. Anyway, after talking for about an hour he just got stone cold and lay down on the bed and didn't say anything. He didn't speak to me or even look at me for two hours. I was freaking out and crying and begging him to talk to me and eventually he went to the bathroom and when he came back he told me that he wanted me to leave. I asked if he was leaving me and he said he didn't know and he needed space and time to think and he didn't know when he would have an answer. So I went home and now I'm at home falling apart and I have no idea what to do, we've been happy and enjoying spending time together and I already bought his Valentine's day card and the thought of it ending is making me feel so sad and scared and alone. I've been having bad anxiety issues, and I have midterms coming up and I should be studying but I'm afraid I won't be able to eat or sleep or do anything. Any advice on what to do/how to get through this would be appreciated. | My boyfriend is currently deciding whether he wants to leave me and I am coming apart and I need help. |
t3_3l318z | personalfinance | Stuck with a used car that I am making payments on that is constantly breaking down. What should I do? Trade it in for something newer/more reliable, or continuing repairing and pay off/own the car in 3.5 more years? I don't have anyone really to ask... A bad move on my part. | Hi everyone,
I bought my first non-Craigslist car, a 2005 Honda Civic SI with 79,000 miles on it, from a Honda dealer back in February 2013 for $10,000 + taxes, fees, a shitty warranty that I wish I did not purchase, etc. Everything came out to around $15,000. I put $5,000 down and financed the other $10,000 over the course of 5 years at a 10.9% interest rate. My monthly payment is around $240.
Prior to this I owned a 2003 Toyota Matrix XR which I paid cash for an owned. I should have kept this.
My Civic so far, over the past year, has cost me almost $2,500 in repairs. I've replaced the fuel pump, knock sensor (happening now), rotors, brakes, belts, rack and pinion, and the clutch now has about 107,000 miles on it and is starting to slip pretty bad. It is in the shop as we speak having the knock sensor replaced, and there is also a moaning/squeaking noise when I come out of first gear that I'm sure will be another problem. I feel like the car is going to continue breaking down and unfortunately my warranty does not cover any of this since it is considered "normal wear" on the car.
I think that money could have gone towards payments and I feel kind of dumb for even buying the car (still completely stock, but I wanted something faster than my Martix (idiot move)). My question comes to this. Should I trade it in for something newer (I have pretty good credit of about 750) or pay off the remaining $7,500 I have left and then own the car while I continue to pay for repairs? | Overpaid for a car that is now costing me lots in repairs. Should I trade it in and get something newer/more reliable or continue to fix it and pay it off? |
t3_1dw5nj | AskReddit | What's your best example of beginner's luck? | Could be your own beginner's luck, or beginner's luck from someone else at your expense.
For me, it was about 2 months ago. I was invited to play some poker with a friend and some of his other buddies. Up until that point, I'd never played a single hand of poker in my life but knew the hierarchy of hands and that was about it.
I turned up late and missed the beginning of the game and they'd replaced me with someone else, but I stuck around to hang out. To be honest, I was pretty pleased I wouldn't have to lose any money anyway. Eventually, as people started dropping out, a side game started while the big game went on in the next room. It was a $10 buy-in and I started playing poker for the first time in my life.
I came away with a $37 profit an hour or so later. I think the fact I wasn't experience enough to figure out strategy actually helped me. The others didn't know my style and I didn't know theirs (or mine). I made some dumb mistakes and I got really lucky on some hands, but I just used common sense and tried to weigh up my options as best I could and it worked out. I haven't played since but I'm positive it won't turn out like that next time! | Played poker for first time ever, without really knowing the rules even. Turned $10 into $47 in an hour. |
t3_kyvcw | AskReddit | Reddit- Is Wikipedia really that bad of a source? Or do professors have a misguided understanding? | It is my experience that professors automatically discount a Wikipedia reference as false/uneducated. Granted, it is not anywhere near the validity of a scholarly journal, but I recall seeing a documentary a while ago that showed how hard it was for an average person to actually alter a Wikipedia page. I've heard other places that Wikipedia itself goes to great lengths to make sure their pages have pretty up to date or precise information. Do professors just discount Wikipedia because there is this long established prejudice against this website? Or is Wikipedia truly incorrect in its information? What are your experiences, Reddit? | Is Wikipedia really as bad as professors think, or does it have credibility but no one accepts it? |
t3_395z50 | relationships | Me [26M] worth getting involved with a girl [22F] who is heading back to college in the fall? | I met this pretty cool girl who is home for the summer, has one more year of college. She is really easy to talk to and I enjoy her company a lot. In fact I don't think I have ever met anyone who I was so comfortable with right off the bat. Feels like I have known her for two months, not two weeks.
But she is going to be leaving in the fall to finish up her last year of school, this distance isn't super far but still about a two hour drive away. Not a trip I could make all the time, I have a good career in our current area. She plans on looking for work in this area as well after school but that is a whole year away. Obviously this isn't a relationship yet but I could already see things going that way. I just feel like it might not be the best idea to jump into something that is going to be a LDR right away. Plus what if either of us meet someone great while we are apart, I wouldn't want to hold her back or vice versa? What are your thoughts? Thanks! | Met a cool girl, only home for the summer, worth even trying? |
t3_4jv6j1 | relationships | 21/F UPDATE. I confronted his fiancé. | Link to original post.
First, I just wanted to say thank you to all that replied and sent me personal messages regarding this issue of mine. You all gave me the courage I needed to message her.
After I made the original post I gave him one more opportunity to come clean to his fiancée. I confronted him and told him that the games had to stop. Either he told her or I did. He responded that I was bluffing, a bitch, and she wouldn't believe me.
So I sent her the screenshots of our conversations, and my phone number. I told her to call me if she had any questions regarding what I sent her.
The evidence was on my side, 90% of our recent conversation were filled with "Are you sure you don't have a fiancée?" and him denying it and calling her *crazy*, *obsessed*, and that she needed to *let go*.
I took a huge risk giving her my number. But the news I gave her needed to be discussed over the phone or in person. She called me an hour later. I expected her to be angry with me, possibly cuss me out. Call me a whore perhaps but she didn't. She cried for a long time and when she was able to speak she thanked me.
We talked for awhile about their relationship and about how she caught him talking to another girl in the past but let that one slide for the sake of her childern. This apparently was the icing on the cake. She added me on Facebook and when she broke up with him she went on Facebook and wrote about how she almost made the biggest mistake of her life. She personally tagged me and thanked me again that status. Felt a little weird about that but I rolled with it.
It wasn't two hours after that status was posted his messaged me and called me a stupid cunt. I was delusional and he never liked me. I ruined his relationship.. A load of bullshit. I sent her those messages and we laughed about it.
We may have met through weird circumstances but I may have made a new friend.
I don't regret telling her one bit, she seems like a wonderful person and she didn't deserve what he was doing to her. | Guy tried cheating with me. Sent screenshots to his fiancée, she was thankful that I told her. We bonded over his misery. |
t3_36bftg | tifu | TIFU By almost having a heavy make out session in a moonwalk | This is my first TIFU post, and I didn't technically fuck up, but I almost did. Fate, God, or whathaveyou decided to spare me the embarrassment I almost had to endure. (Also, this happened last night, reddit cliche is cliche.)
So, Me and my girlfriend (Let's call her Jamie) were invited to a Quinceñera (sorry for the butchered spelling, I'm not sure how to spell that word) and we decided to go. There was a lot of food, dancing, and sexual tension between Me and Jamie. So, I look over and discover a place of magic and wonder. A moonwalk, designed for kids that couldn't sit still and were too young to dance to such classics by Nikki Manaj and Lil Wayne and the sorts. So, me and Megan decided "What the hell" and decided to relive the tension with a sweet touchy-feely makeout session.
And nooww, here's where I almost fucked up.
So the plan was to go in at different times, (Five minutes apart) to not seem suspicious to the adults that were there. I go first, so I go in while my girlfriend goes over and pretends to talk with some friends. So I'm just lying on the moonwalk, alone, and browsing reddit whilst waiting for my Jamie-Poo. A few minutes go by, and these two kids that look no more than 8 run in, sit down, and talk to each other. Me, being oblivious, didn't notice these kids. So, I wait, wait, wait, and I'm just like "Okay, she's not coming, I might as well get out." I get out and see two little girls talking about nonsense. If you don't see anything wrong with this picture, I almost had a heavy makeout session with my SO...in front of two kids that aren't even old enough to know how sex works...oopsie. | Almost scarred two 8 yr olds by having a sweet makeout sesh with my SO. |
t3_2884r2 | relationships | My GF [21 F] of 3 years broke up with me [22 M] 3 weeks into long distance via text. | So my girlfriend on and off for 3 years is spending the summer studying abroad while I'm working. Before she left I broke up with her because she chose studying abroad and then moving back with her parents after (halfway across the world) over staying with me. She begged and pleaded to give long distance a chance; and I was convinced it could work so we got back together. This was 3 weeks ago. Last night, she breaks up with me with a few brief texts. On a Saturday night. In shock, I reply back flippantly and that was that. It's been a day and as I've been stewing it's making me more and more upset. Just the DAY before, she was telling me how she loved me and what not.
I can only assume she either cheated or is suddenly caught up in the fervor of partying abroad and wants to sleep around. Either way, it was a cold cold way to end a 3 year relationship. I had no idea she was that kind of person; I really never saw it coming. Should I bother finding out what went wrong, what the situation is? | GF of 3 years studying/traveling abroad abruptly breaks up with me after convincing me we could make long distance work. Should I try to get some closure out of the situation? |
t3_2y6vuf | relationships | Me [28 F] just found a girl in my [26 M] bed | Hi i am new here. About two hours ago, i went to my bf house and found a girl sleeping in his bed. I was so shocked i couldnt even cry. I went over because i was feeling suspicious when he didnt answer my texts and calls. So i found out he had been lying to me. We had just come back from a holiday and he started contacting this girl whom he had known from a long time ago. He said they went for drinks and over drinks both said they liked each other. She was merely staying over for fuck. He kicked me out and told me to leave. The girl left while we were talking and he got super mad at me.
Anyway My bf and i have been together for 4 months and this relationship hasnt been smooth sailing. He found many flaws in me and some i had to admit were reasonable and i tried to change. He said i was not understanding or supportive. But at the same time he was not patient and would get angry at the slightest thing.
Our relationship hit a major turning point when he told me he had given up. He said we just couldnt be togethher in the long run becasue of our fundamental differences in the way we think and communicate. He said i was dumb, not intellectually stimulating. Since then i could sense he was not putting effort and the slightest thing could trigger a breakup.
I love my bf alot and it really hurts. He didnt seem sorry and remorseful. Also how could he like someone so fast? Do you think its just Be momentary feelings because they had known each other for so long. Why only start now? Also did our numerous arguments led to him seeking comfort in another girl?
Will he come back to me or is it over for good? Ithink i might be in denial because i am really hurt. I have never loved anyone this much before. I am trying to move on but it will take time.
Was this whole thing my fault or he is just a player all along?
Please help. | Cheating, moving on |
t3_13ioo9 | BreakUps | I [22M] am going to break up with my girlfriend [20] today and I am expecting an animated reaction | We have been dating for two years and things have been on and off good and bad. Currently they are good, as in the past 1 week, but I would rather end the relationship now instead of when we are fighting. I have thought about this deeply and finally i am settled on ending this.
The problem is that she thinks I am "the one" and is convinced that we will be together forever. Whenever there is a hint of a suggestion that I have some kind of doubt, her emotions change completely and she accuses me of not loving her. I "broke up" with her about one year ago and she hyperventilated and cried for hours. I succumbed to her reaction and continued dating her and things got better. I am now ready to leave this relationship, but i expect the same reaction from her, if not worse. I expect to be yelled at, accused of not loving her, accused of lying, her having an anxiety attack. I don't expect things to be physical, so there is no physical danger.
Any tips on how to 1. "ease" the bad news, and 2. handle her reaction? | Breaking up today with girlfriend of 2 years. History of animated reaction when relationship does not go well. How do I ease her suffering and handle her (almost) inevitable reaction? |
t3_3wis8w | tifu | TIFU by pissing on my friend at an EDM festival [NSFW-ish] | This wasn't today but ill post about it anyways. Last saturday, I was at this EDM festival called Waterzonic with a few mates. I was having a great time, there was water splashing everywhere, I was drinking the whole night and getting high in the parking lot. By around 10 pm I was piss drunk, I was hooking up with this cute girl, seems like a great night so far. Then my drunk brain thought it would be funny to piss on my friend. So I unzipped by shorts and whipped out my donger and started pissing on my friend a little. He got a bit pissed and started punching me in return. I was trying to block his punches cos he was drunk and was punching pretty hard. After he stopped, I was complaining about the punches and shit then I went back to raving and grinding with the girl I was hooking up with. The thing is that I forgot to put my donger back in my shorts so he was raving with me. All my mates were laughing, the girl I was with turned around and laughed too but I was too drunk to care and continued for a while until 10-15 minutes later this stranger came up with me and pointed at my donger. I shoved it back in whilst everyone was still laughing. Again I was too drunk to give a fuck so I just raved on. The girl was cool with it and stayed with me still. But the thing is that my donger was flying and raving with me when probably everyone around saw it. | Pissed on my friend at a concert, got a few punches and forgot to put my dick away. Raved with my dick out for 10-15 minutes. A lot of people saw and laughed. |
t3_2gpn1x | relationships | My [33F] husband [35M] is in treatment for an eating disorder. Please offer me your advice, words of experience, wisdom, anything. | We have been married three years.
After a long and frightening ordeal, my husband has finally admitted that he needs help with his eating disorder. He has been going to group therapy (12-step type) for three months, and individual talk therapy with an eating disorders specialist for six weeks. He is severely underweight and his health has been suffering.
Today, he told me that he is finally committed to doing what it takes to get his weight back up and recover.
Has anyone been through this before? What should I expect?
How can I best help him through this period? Are there certain things I should or shouldn't say?
Any resources or words of wisdom specifically for the partners of those recovering from eating disorders?
How can I best support him?
How should I approach our sexual relationship (which has been nonexistent for a while)? I feel so lost and confused. | My husband is going through the recovery process for an eating disorder, and I could use some advice. |
t3_1ed0wv | relationships | [25M] confused on true feelings of [23F]. | So a girl I've been seeing tells me she's really likes me and acts completely interested in me when we are together, but when we aren't things are so completely different. We have been seeing each other for a little over a month now, and hang out around 2-4 times a week. Every time we see each other we have incredible make out sessions etc.. and she cant keep her hands off me. There seems to be incredible attraction. This I am positive of. She has text me that her mind was blown by our kissing. We've done everything but go all the way, the time we were about to it was 4am so we decided to save it for another night. But she will never text me first and I feel as if she wouldn't text me at all if I didn't do so first. I've asked her about it and she says that she has gotten used to not keeping her cell phone right by her side while living abroad. I know I would text her all day If i didn't feel like it would annoy her.
She also constantly makes plans to see her friends, that she met from abroad, without me and without inviting me. I know I would include her in basically any plans. She has a huge family that she lives with so she is always doing something, and her brother who lives abroad came home for 2 weeks. She has also brought me with her to meet him at his soccer game, which I figure was a good sign. But again she often chooses to make plans without even thinking of me. I know Id love for her to be part of my life. Im not sure what this relationship is, and I feel as if I'm falling for her way harder than she is for me. I've asked her if she is interested in a boyfriend in the future, and she replied with "im definitely open to the idea, but its something that will take some more time. i really like hanging out with you and i want to see where it goes".
Am i loosing my mind? or am I right to believe she doesn't feel the same way? Wouldnt she text me if she really liked me? what on earth do i do? | Me [25M] likes [23G]who says she's really likes me and likes hanging out with me and acts it when we are together, but when we aren't she acts completely differently. Does she or not? What do i do? |
t3_3tdnvc | relationships | I [16M] am dealing with a lot of racial, and social insecurity, nearly to the point of absolute self-hatred. | So, I am a black teenager who for the past few months have been developing a sense of racial and social insecurity. Part of it stems from reddit and other sites on the internet, as I have been seeing a lot of posts on subs such as news, videos, etc. about minorities, especially those of my race causing trouble with a lot of comments seeming to generalize those of my race as all criminals and thugs.
Also, I go to a racially diverse school so there is a lot of social segregation. I am new to the school so I haven't really been able to find any friends. I kind of find myself alone because I have a lot of interests that doesn't really fit the typical interests of my race or even gender for that matter. This combined with my experience on the internet has really made me really insecure about my race to the point where I wish that I were white so I could fit in more. I just want to know about how I could get rid of these feelings of insecurity. | Feeling really insecure about my race due to experiences in both real life and the internet. |
t3_2vhhq9 | tifu | TIFU by trolling people at Barnes&Noble | A few months I bought an iPad dock and it came with a free Apple remote thing. While I was just randomly browsing the internet I found out that it was possible to troll Macbook users with it. Being the idiot I am, I tried it at a Barnes&Noble on an average Sunday afternoon.
I thought it would work out and it would be pretty funny. So first thing I did when I arrived was plop myself down under a table, and scan the room for Macbooks.
First victim: College student with headphones while on facebook.
*presses button*
The college student nearly jumps out of her seat and proceeded to turn off the audio. She didn't know I did it.
LOL
All right, I screwed up with the second guy. I plopped the button down as I pointed towards his laptop.
What I didn't realize that he had his audio on highest volume. So as soon as I plopped the button, extremely loud Metal music channeled through the whole cafe area and probably the whole building.
And then the staff called security.
I left the premises undetected and never went back. | I was a stupid moron, so I trolled some Mac users at a Barnes&Noble. When I trolled them, I didn't somebody had volume on highest setting and I accidentally played really loud heavy metal. Then I left and never went back. |
t3_1fx377 | dating_advice | I think I messed up | Wooo throwaway accounts.
I'm a 17 yo M and I've seen this girl (18) maybe twice a week for the last year on the bus to college(UK) which means we get a good couple of hours conversation every week. Anyway long story short she recently became available about a month ago, we are at the end of college and she added me on Facebook, being awkward I decided to leave a her a message along the lines of "let me know if you wanna go out some time cause I like you" at the end of a conversation we were having. Facebook says she saw the message almost instantly here we are a day later no reply. I guess its time to call it quits? | Asked a girl out on Facebook no reply. |
t3_134v1c | AskReddit | My Sisters being harassed by a violent drug addicted ex boyfriend what can i do to ensure both her saftey and that of my nephew when the police will do nothing to help | So my sister was going out with this guy about 10 years ago, a few years after they broke up he had become addicted to heroin and had also been institutionalized because of acid. in 9 years there was no contact until last year when he started txting and trying to ring my sister.He would ring and threaten her a few times a day which was only made worse by the fact she had a 1 year old child.We live in a small city and she had just moved to a new house unfortunately it turned out that this guy was in a homeless shelter only a 2 min walk away.
The txts and phone calls went on for a few months and i find it incredibly hard to describe the feeling of fear my family felt. My sister spent most of her week either in a police station or on the phone to them trying to get them to deal with the problem, at times she was either told that there was nothing they could do about it or they'd try and contact him and get bak to her. After a month or two of trying the police (and even tear filled conversations with the guys parents) he was finally ended up being arrested over another charge and with the combined complaints from my sister was sent to a mental rehabilitation centre in another part of the country.
Everything was back to normal the last few months an some of us even managed to forget the whole scenario but today while talking with my parents i hear that hes not only out and home but hes back to the threatening phone calls. So my question to the knowledgeable people of reedit is basically just what do i do? every bone in my body is urging for a violent resolution for what hes put me and my family through but anything short of murder would probably result in him murdering my family.Has any one been through anything like this before and if so how was it handled and what was the outcome?
( | ) sisters ex just out of a mental hospital threatening her life, what do i do? |
t3_1t5s7t | AskReddit | How does one go about helping a Homeless Person? | About an hour ago, I was approached in a cvs parking lot by a very recently (according to her story) homeless person. She was hysterical, and manically told me her story with a lot of repetition and without stop. She I guess had come from a pretty wealthy family, always lived a comfortable life, went to college and high school in the suburb where I live. She got married, had a kid and later she had a divorce and didn't receive custody of , moved in with her parents and then had a falling out with her mother that resulted in her current position. Also, she has cancer and some kind of foot problem. I told her to go to a shelter, or call her son, but she said she couldn't because it was pretty much the same as nothing, they didn't have the care she needed, and her son was too independent and didn't care enough. Basically, she was shell shocked because, as someone coming from the upper middle class, she didn't know how to deal with the idea of being on the street, and never expected to be in that position. I don't want to just leave her on the street, but I'm not sure what to do. Should I just call the police? will they take her to a shelter? I've never really dealt with something like this. I need an answer ASAP | I met a (recently) homeless woman who needs assistance and shelter. What can I do to help her get those things or anything in general like right now. (if anyone read the whole thing and can think of a better way to phrase this, lmk) |
t3_1ii3mo | relationship_advice | I (32/m) hooked up with my best friend (30/f) of 15 years this weekend, multiple times, and now I'm not sure where things stand. | throwaway - We dated on and off for 5-6 years when i was 18-24 and since then we had a couple drunk makeouts but never had sex and stayed close friends (for 8 years if you're counting). I don't date much, mostly because I have a lot of insecurities, but we went out for drinks earlier in the week and met up with one of her co-workers and the co-worker and I kind of hit it off. We all hung out again on friday and when it was time to go home she said she would just sleep at my house, which happens on occasion. One thing led to another and we spent the majority of the weekend in bed. Many things were said, but we didn't talk about any long term implications of what we were doing.
I texted her to have dinner on Tuesday and she said she was busy and now I'm wondering if she is rethinking the whole situation. I know I need to talk to her but I am pretty unsure of how the conversation will go. I haven't really stopped thinking about it since. The range could be anywhere from: 'I need some time apart but lets still be friends' to 'this is the start of the rest of our lives together' or anything in between. I think I want it to happen, but its possible the feelings of intimacy are clouding my judgement, its happened in the past.
So essentially, what I am asking is how to keep my mind straight until we speak again, and how to approach the situation to not horribly embarrass myself when we do talk. | i hooked up with my best friend and now i dont know where things stand or how to handle our next conversation. |
t3_1vznwi | needadvice | My 13 year old brother killed our bird out of anger. What can we do to help him? | Here's how it happened:
My mother was scolding him for his mess and told him to do fold some towels. Before there are any suspicions, my mom wasn't scolding him in a demeaning or abusing way; she is just tired of telling him over and over again to pick up after himself. Next thing I hear, he is calling for me from our family room and tells me our sun conure is "sick". When I get to the birdcage I see that our bird is lying on the top of the cage, bleeding from his nose, and clearly struggling to breathe. I ask my brother what happened and he tells me the bird "fell from his cage". I call desperately for my mom and she tells me he is dying. The next two minutes are complete agony as I watch my bird, *who has been one of my best friends for the last 11 years*, die by suffocating on his blood. At this point I'm in tears, and I ask my brother exactly what happened since there is no way falling from his cage would have caused such severe injuries. He finally confesses that he smacked the bird with a towel. There was no point in asking 'why' since he does this kind of stuff all the time.
Our dilemma:
My family and I don't know what to do with our brother anymore. He is an angry middle schooler and has a history of being somewhat violent (i.e., throwing books at his classmates for making fun of him), but this is an entirely new low for him. He has talked to the school counselor and has had regular sessions with a therapist, but I feel they are useless. His counselors have always given him the benefit of the doubt and held us responsible for his behavior. This troubles me as it removes any responsibility or sense of remorse for his actions. Case in point, when my mom talked to him about what he did he said that "it wasn't his fault he inherited his dad's temper". My bird did not deserve to die this way, and I fear that his anger problem could get worse. I will continue to follow his counselors advice and try to understand him, but it's difficult when he rejects advice and gets visibly frustrated when my mom or dad talk to him. | My bird didn't deserve to die in such a gruesome way. What can we do to help my brother control his anger and become responsible for his actions? |
t3_4br4tv | relationships | Me [22F] moved to a small city, my neighbor is obnoxious, should I say something? | Hi!
I recently moved to a small city from the country, so i'm not sure on all the city etiquette. This actually involves my neighbor across the street.
Monday-Friday at exactly 7 am, their ride for work comes to pick her up. A car pulls up and proceeds to beep repeateadly, like 7-10 beeps in a row. If my neighbor is not out in like 40 seconds, this person beeps like that again.
I have longed to wait outside and when they pull up and start beeping, go up to them and ask if they have heard of either calling them on you know, a cell phone, or even ringing the doorbell??
I think its SO rude! It wakes me up! As far as I'm concerned theres no reason to beep so obnoxiously every morning on the dot.
Is this normal and am I overreacting? Should I say something? | Neighbor's ride to work is obnoxiously beeping at 7 am Mon-Fri and it wakes me up. |
t3_1gy97f | relationships | [m24] Arranged a date and it was postponed. Am I wasting my time? | A few weeks ago I met a girl, got a kiss in, got her number and arranged to meet up with her. The day before I was supposed to see her, I realised I'd neglected to give/ask for a time so I messaged her to find out.
Got a reply hours later asking if it's ok to postpone because she had an exam she needed to study for the next week. I said sure, let me know when you're free and she said she had exams for another couple of weeks (now finished)
On Saturday night, I was out and texted her saying if she's in the city we should catch up. She said she was staying in, maybe next week. Replied to say ok, will arrange something during the week.
That's where I am now. I will arrange something during the week but does this seem like a waste of time?
What's confusing me is the list of possible outcomes in my head when I messaged her:
1. no reply
2. no
3. yes
4. no, but... (which is what I got)
If she wasn't interested, would she bother replying or saying no, but... | met girl, arranged date, postponed, attempted to arrange again and was told, no, what about next week? Wasting my time? |
t3_20kzh6 | relationships | Me [22F] with my ex-something [25 M] of 7 months, its been a year, why did this new information hit me so hard? | I dated this guy for 7 months who never called me his gf but would say he loved me and wanted to be exclusive. Caught him "cheating" and I dumped him. He begged and cried but I did not give in as much as I wanted to. Now a year later I am in a great relationship and love him to bits but by my own foolishness I reinstated my facebook and looked my ex up. He isn't "in a relationship" but the girl he cheated with was all over it. I almost started crying and wanted to punch something, I blocked him immediately so I couldn't snoop anymore and closed my laptop.
Now he would not add me on fb when we dated and of course I know he never really cared for me because of all the now obvious signs. What I don't get is why this hurt so much, it felt like someone punched me right in the chest. It's been a year since we broke up, I have an amazing boyfriend (who actually lets me call him that.)
I've been thinking back and about a month ago he texted me out of the blue saying he had dreamed about me and wanted to know how I was (wtf.) He is a complete jerk and I am glad we are no longer together and as I am writing this the hurt and need I felt to cry are subsiding. I guess i'd just like to know why it hurt so bad and is it normal? Do I still have feelings for him? I love my boyfriend and would never leave him. Has anyone else gone through this? | Saw my ex's fb and he's public about the girl he cheated on me with. It hurt a lot even though I have a boyfriend I love now. Anyone else deal with this type of thing? |
t3_4wudhr | relationships | Is this a bad sign for our relationship? (lying about drinking) [18M][17 F] | So my girlfriend and I agreed that we were going to stay together in a long distance relationship when I leave for college in a few weeks.
However, my problem is that she is on vacation this week and we had agreed awhile ago that if we ever go out drinking that we would tell each other so we know we're okay. I found out from her Snapchat that she i guess made some friends our age on the beach and she got completely drunk with them. She says nothing happened but it is a little worrisome to me that she is already breaking our deal to make sure we're safe.
I just don't know how to feel about this and I hope it's not a bad sign | Girlfriend lied about drinking/other guys how should I feel? |
t3_2wkyjo | relationships | Me [15 M] with a girl I kissed [15 F] about a week ago, do I want a relationship with her? | Hello folks,
Let's jump right in. I kissed this girl at a party a week ago. I really fancied her and the day before I really made clear at another party that I liked her. It was the first kiss for both of us, bit misplaced it felt like but it was alright. Before the kiss there was a bit of flirting and we were becoming pretty close friends.
Do I want a relationship with her? I feel like that asking myself that automatically gives an answer (that I do not). She has send signals that she wants to date a bit. So I asked her to do so, but also mainly because friends are pushing me to. I don't feel like I love her, and don't really know if I have to. Maybe that is supposed to come with the dating. I am new to all this and don't really know how relationships work. Also I am having fear of commitment (I think), this because I have had a rough time with losing people around me that I have loved so dearly. Maybe it is not the right time for me to get into a relationship if I am having these issues.
All in all I am a bit confused, don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings and also don't want her out of my life.
Thanks in advance! | I kissed this girl I like, don't have strongest feelings for her. Also got fear of commitment (I think) should I start dating her? |
t3_2h6zi9 | tifu | TIFU by saying "anal cakes" | I was in my grade 11 English class today and the girl beside me said
"Hey does this eraser smell like cotton candy to you?"
So I took a good whiff and it smells like a urinal cake. So I tell her that and my English teacher overhears and says
"What smells like a urinal cake??"
So I tell him about the eraser and he says
"No I have a cold. Can't smell anything"
To which my brain replies
"Don't worry. You'll smell it. Its a very penetrative anal cake!"
Silence.
Every eye in the room and the lizard in the tank is focused on me.. All I can think to say is
"Anal as in....annoying.. Penetratingly annoying" | found an eraser that smelled like a urinal cake. Freudian slipped it to anal cake for my English teacher. |
t3_2tby54 | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [21M] likes to piss me off? | So I'm currently pregnant so its possible I'm reading too much into this but he seems to enjoy making me angry? For example, today we were talking and his best friend has recently started dating a girl that he has a history with. Even though she is dating his friend and we're about to have a baby she is still over him and has tried to hook up with him in the past months. He's told her no but it hasn't stopped her from trying. Recently she's backed off a little and is trying to be more of a friend to him and he says that I need to just "get over it and get along with her." I don't start fights with her or yell at her I just refuse to be her friend or be around her as I have no desire to keep her company. He mentioned that she invited him to come to some child expo with her (while I'm at work) and he said he didn't want to go without me (for fear that she would try something). And I said that was probably for the best because it would've upset me if he went. Then he responded and said that made him want to go with her just to piss me off because I have no right to get upset. I don't understand why he would want to do something like that to intentionally hurt me. It wasn't like I lost it and "forbid" him from going, I just said it would upset me. Am I overreacting and shouldn't have said that or is he just being an asshole because with my hormones I cant tell anymore. | Boyfriend wants to go to an expo without me, but with a girl he has a history with after I tell him it will upset me. |
t3_37v6oj | relationships | My girlfriend's brother [23 M] is being gaslighted by his 1.5 year girlfriend [21 F] | My girlfriend's brother has been dating a girl for about a year and a half now and my girlfriend and her family really do not like the girl. From everything they've told me about her, it sounds very much to me that he's being gaslighted. Her latest manipulation has him seriously looking into buying a house (because he's "immature" for living at home with his parents) and I'm really worried the guy is about to make some huge life mistakes that he'll regret later on. I was gaslighted myself in a relationship several years ago, but I made it out okay with only some credit card debt, some minor psychological trauma, and some serious life lessons learned--I fear he won't be so lucky.
One of the things I remember from my experience was that so many of my friends tried to warn me when I was dating the gaslighter, but part of her manipulations got me in an "us versus the world" and a "they just don't understand our love" mentality. I fear the same thing is happening with my girlfriend's brother when his friends and family try to tell him how toxic his relationship is. My question is--how do you tell someone that they're being gaslighted?
My relationship with the guy isn't very close (I've only been dating his sister for a few months), so I don't think I can be the one to convince him, but do you have any advice for how my girlfriend or her family can? | How do you convince someone they're being gaslighted? |
t3_2zfyq4 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [21 M/F] of 5 months, says "I love you" to me, I feel bad cause I never say it back. | My GF and I have been dating for 5 months now. We were friends for a few months before that. Initially she got a crush on me, and asked me out. The first month or two we dated, our relationship wasn't that great tbh. Mainly because I didn't treat her like a girlfriend. I'd leave and go home after we fucked, showed up over an hour late to our first date, ditch her during out hangouts to go get high with my friends, etc... we had some good times, but overall I felt nothing towards her so I was kind of an asshole.
After some time though, I started to like her and act a lot better and more like her boyfriend and we started having even more fun, and she started to REALLY like me, I know cause she'd tell me that she "really really really liked me" multiple times, and that "I was the best guy she ever dated"
Heres the thing though, she told me she "loves me" but she said that she wasn't "in love" with me. I didn't know how to react so I was just like "ok". But now she always says "I love you" before we go to sleep, or I leave or something.
I never say it back because I still only kinda like her, I'm no where close to feeling like I love her or being able to say it back to her, and honestly, I feel kinda bad about it. I'm afraid that she expects me to say it back sometime soon, and I know that its not gonna come for a while, and I don't wanna hurt her, but everytime she says it I just kiss her or awkwardly nod my head....how should I handle this? Do you think I should tell her to stop saying it to me until I feel I'm ready to say it back, or should I just keep doing what I'm doing? | My GF always tells me she loves me, I can't say it back and I know I wont for a long time. How do I handle this? |
t3_2uwd11 | needadvice | Car crash, whose fault is it? | Hey Reddit, I was in a minor car crash a couple hours ago and I was wondering whose fault it was. Everyone is okay, and the police took down a report. However, they did not specify whose fault it was because they did not have enough evidence. (We were already pulled over to the side). They said if we give it to insurance they will fight over whose fault it was.
Heres what happened:
I was pulling out of a parking lot onto a minor campus road and had planned to take a right. I nudged out and was about to go, but then saw the guy coming left to right. I thought he was going straight, so I stopped. I then saw he put his turn signal on last minute, so I started very slowly (2mph) to move forward to turn right. However, he was going too fast (10mph) to make the appropriate turn and slide right into me. It is snowy out and the roads are covered in snow. His driver side front bumber hit my left side passenger back door.
Was I at fault here because I nudged a little farther out, then stopped? Its not like he turned to avoid me, and I was not in the middle of the main road my any means. I'm pretty sure it is his fault because of his late reaction to the turn and going too fast. Since the cops didn't give a clear answer, I'm turning to you guys. Thanks! | Had a minor accident. Cops didn't give a fault of accident. Turning to Reddit for clarification. |
t3_1asslq | Parenting | Wow, jerk. Just...wow. You cheated children? | So my older two boys are selling $1 candy bars to raise money to go to school-sponsored camp. (FYI: Door to door kid stuff is not taboo in my teeny tiny home town.) They have to sell 270 bars each. This candy is really well known in my area, from a local place, and EVERY group/team/whatever sells them for fundraisers. They are surprisingly big (and delicious) for a buck each. My kids have sold them for various activities for years. Hubs and I are broke right now. We're crawling out from under winter bills, and since we're both self-employed we also have taxes to deal with. So we have been able to buy a few bars from the boys, but not enough to cover the camp cost.
So, the boys went out last night selling, and they're almost at their deadline. Son1 has about $40 left to raise, Son2 has about twice that. They came home and we started counting the bars/money to make sure everything came out even. And we found.....$16 in JOKE one dollar bills. In the boys' defense, it was dusk, and hey, $1 bills look like $1 bills to kids their age. They didn't check which president was on the bill or if it had appropriate water marks and anti fraud strips. They do remember the guy who bought the bars, because you remember somebody who buys 8 bars from each of you. Hubs & I are debating whether it is worth it to confront him over $16. Sorry, rant over, I just had to let that out somewhere. | Asshat cheats kids by using fake money to purchase something for a fundraiser. |
t3_2tn1y9 | tifu | TIFU by breaking up with the best thing that's ever happened to me. | My boyfriend cheated on me a couple months ago and I found out right before Christmas. We had an unspoken break up and I thought that was the end of it.
Last Thursday we both ended up at the same bar where he ended up getting in a fight with a boy for touching me in a way that bothered him. I got scared and embarrassed so I left. A couple hours later he found his way back to my dorm where he cried to me and poured his heart out. We spent the next 4 hours together crying until we fell asleep. And i decided to give him a second chance.
This past Thursday I went to a party with my cousin where I watched her cheat on her boyfriend that she claims to be in love with. This sent me over the edge and my drunk mind decided that if she was capable of cheating then I can't trust anybody. Stupid I know. So I went home and called my boyfriend over at 2am and ended it. I told him I wasn't mad and he didn't do anything wrong. It was a very civil break up and we spent about 2 hours just talking and joking around like we always did.
Now I regret that decision more than anything. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I've just been drinking myself into a coma every night since then. I keep trying to text him but he won't answer. I know I hurt him, but I think I hurt myself even more. | my boyfriend cheated in me. He apologized and so I took him back. I decided to break up with him when I was drunk and now I regret it. |
t3_2hr4z5 | tifu | TIFU by asking a couple if their son was for sale | It was my senior year in high school. I was a part of the National Art Honors Society and was required to help run the school art show award night. At the time, I had gone to school with another particular student for several years. At this time he was in my art class and we had come to talking and started getting into a weird sense of humor.
Anyways, at the award night, I ran into his parents and his much younger little brother. As a joke and in vein with our previous conversations, I asked this student the following question:
"How much? I'm willing to pay anything for your kid."
His parents were in ear shock, gave me a disgusting look. The family then walked away without saying a word. It came off as odd to me and I brushed it off.
The next morning in art class, my fellow student told me that his parents called me a "monster" for asking if their autistic son was for sale. | Asked a married couple if their autistic child was for sale. |
t3_108u19 | AskReddit | Here are two of my favourite British bands at the moment. Reddit, what bands do you love of the current generation from your country? | Here are a couple of bands that I assume (perhaps wrongly) are only really well known in the UK/some of Europe, they're both relatively new (producing music for the current generation) and I would just love to share them to other parts of the world and hear others opinion on them! :D
Mumford & Sons (folk rock):
Their first album "Sigh No more" was a massive success over here and their highly anticipated follow-up album is coming out very soon. Their big hits are "Little lion man" ( and "Winter winds" ( although my personal favourites from the album are "Blank white page" and "Gave you all".
Elbow (alternative rock):
Very difficult to describe as a band, they've been around a while and just seem to keep getting better, their last two albums being absolutely stunning. My personal picks are "One day like this" ( "Grounds for divorce" ( and "Lippy kids" ( although every one of their songs is different and amazing in its own way. They did a concert with the BBC Concert Orchestra, it gives me chills every time...
It really interests me how I listen to these british bands and love them to pieces, but others on the other side of the globe may not have heard of them at all, and vice versa. Please post up here your favourite bands of the current generation that you think are pretty unique to your place of origin! | I love some british bands of this generation |
t3_1sclbp | relationship_advice | I (30/f) turned down a friend (29/m) who asked me out, but we remained friends. Now he's (innocently) ruining my attempts to meet/hang out with other guys. Advice? | A good friend of mine asked me out recently, but I made it clear that I did not have romantic feelings for him and would like to remain friends. He seemed to understand, handled it well, and we remained good friends.
The thing is, he has basically become my unwelcome "guardian angel." For example, the other night we were at a bar with a group of our friends, and any time I started to talk to a guy he was right there, including when I would go outside for a cigarette with another guy (he doesn't smoke). This happened throughout the night, and has happened at other bar outings.
He's a very kind guy, if a bit socially clueless sometimes, so I don't think it's malicious. I also know that I need to talk to him, but I'm having trouble figuring out how to handle this tactfully and without making him feel bad. What should I say to him? | Good friend asked me out, I turned him down. We remained friends, but now he's cockblocking (twatswatting?) me. How do I handle this tactfully? |
t3_123g35 | loseit | Fell off the wagon, trying to get back on. | I was very successful with calorie counting and weight loss last December. I went down about 20 pounds and was fairly happy with my weight. Well, I got comfortable and today my BMI told me I was obese, for the first time in my life. Today I am 5'4" and 186 pounds. I am broken, sad, and utterly defeated. I need motivation and support.
20 pounds of the weight gain is the result of being put on steroids. I was having an abnormal allergic reaction and we could not get it under control, so the doctors had me on and off them. After lots of testing the results of my allergy test revealed I have several allergies, many of them foods. I am allergic to yeast, basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, dill, and all berries.
The allergies put me in a severe depression. My face and body have not recovered from the constant cross contamination and loss of control that comes with trying to get new allergies in order.
Believe me, I am in no means making excuses for myself. I definitely let myself go. So here I am. I need support. Please give me your myfitnesspal names so I can friend you on there. Any advice, ideas, or recommendations you can give me I greatly welcome. | Got fat again, need some help. |
t3_510w6o | tifu | TIFU and got mugged by horses | So this story may sound weird, but it actually happened a few weeks ago. One night, J decided to go camping and get an authentic experience of living an outdoorsy life. so I pack my backpack, get food and shit and get my camp face on. Fuck up no 1: I go to a non-camping campsite. Climbed over a few fences, crawled through some shrubbery to get to
the prime spot. I relaxed, got ready to chill. ate dinner and turned in for the night.
Fuck up no 2:I start playing music to get myself to sleep and suddenly, a bunch of horses or donkeys (it was dark) get drawn to me from nowhere and start making a fuss with their hoofs. They kick at the tent and generally clomp around. Clearly I'm fucking terrified because I've wandered on the set of planet of the horses and happen to be very kickable. I text my friend for advise and she suggests giving them apples. So I toss the apples I had for a snack. And the horses eat them. Then they come back with a presence that just screams "Yo boss man do you have anything for your boys". I hand out the rest of my food , they nibble on that. Then I handed them.out random leaves till they got tired and went away.
Unlike movie characters, I Gtfo'd. | Camped illegally. Got shaken down by horses |
t3_11j7gh | GetMotivated | Anyone else feel a lack of clear direction? How does /getmotivated choose? | Okay, physical fitness and diet are excellent! No argument, these are wonderful things to strive for.
The problem that I have been experiencing is this: my brain is constantly switching between dreams, and each one feels as genuine and real as the other. I don't have 10 lifetimes to try them all, especially since I believe in the virtues of passion and mastery and focus. All these videos and quotes promote a simple (and excellent) message of doing what you love and working insanely hard at it.
Perhaps it's because of the constant exposure to new information and ideas (TED Talks, twitter, etc.) and inspirational videos from a wide variety of people, but I keep beating myself up trying to figure out what to focus on and it's starting to drive me crazy.
* Teach
* Learn to code.
* Promote childhood learning of programming.
* Learning Japanese
* Hone my skills at drawing.
* Getting in shape. Learning a martial art.
* Make video games that push forward the medium.
* Improving education in the deep south where I grew up.
* Become and animator or storyboard artist for Pixar.
* Get involved in technology that helps humanity.
to name a few...
Can anyone else relate to this? Passion and motivation are not the issue for me, it's the feeling of an enormous amount of different options, and so I keep running through this loop of thought:
* I don't want to spend my life sitting at a computer, I want to use my body and encourage others to use their bodies and form real human connections.
* Physical fitness only effects me, and technology and sociology is where it's at for helping the world. | I'm frustrated with wanting to commit my life to something, but having to choose between a life at a computer screen or a life of physical activity. |
t3_3gwx9x | relationships | Am I [F18] an asshole for cutting off my friend [F20] who has aspergers? | So I met this girl let's call her Kay through mutual friends. She seemed cool at first but as I spent more time with her some of her behavior became very odd and uncomfortable. First, she would ALWAYS want to be with me or other people. She seemed to be obsessed with inviting people over to her house all the time. Second, she only had a very limited interests. There were very few things that she wanted to do or talk about. She also became VERY touchy with me in a way I was uncomfortable with. I am not a very touchy person and Kay would always rub my thighs or other contact that made me very uncomfortable. I would try to tell her that I didn't like that but she never changed her behavior. It was around this time that she told me she has aspergers. I understood that she had a harder time with social things than other people, but soon I found hanging out with her insufferable. I started to ignore her and when she confronted me I simply told her I was not comfortable hanging out with her due to her inappropriate comments and uncomfortable touching along with her being generally insensitive. Kay told me that these things were results of her aspergers and she couldn't help them, but I just could not force myself to hang out with someone I had grown to generally dislike so much. I do feel bad though, because I know she can't help the way she is. Was is selfish of me to cut her off for these reasons? | Stopped being friends with a girl because of her behavior caused by her aspergers. |
t3_3f3691 | relationships | my boyfriend [28m] of 7mo. has a wandering eye and tends to flirt with girls in front of me [23f] | my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. we both love each other very much and have talked about marriage/moving in/ect (he is very amazing besides these short comings) but I am get really uncomfortable and doubt him because he looks at girls all the time in front of me and is very obvious about it (double take) he has also tends to flirt with girls frequently in front of me. during these times he treats me like I don't exist. he doesn't seem to understand why I'm upset about it. I know men naturally look at other women. but I still find these actions unacceptable and so disrespectful. it is really taking a toll on the way I feel about myself. I don't really know what to do.
we have talked about it a few times. he's promised to be more aware of his actions and make changes to make me feel better. I haven't really seen much of a change. | my boyfriend likes to look and flirt with other girls in front of me. I feel like I will end the relationship over this if it continues. |
t3_2hdpen | relationships | I (27/F) have a problem with lying. | I lie a lot. With close friends and romantic partners, it mostly takes the form of exaggeration and excuses. I tweak the things that happened to me during the day to make them more interesting or melodramatic or give them a more satisfying ending. I make my problems sound worse than they are and my workload sound heavier than it is. I pretend to be sick, to have had problems with transit/traffic, or that I got stuck on an important phone call -- when I really just don't want to go or I left the house late.
With strangers or casual friends, I sometimes make up stories wholesale. Things that never happened. Experiences I've never had, jobs I've never worked, imaginary ex-boyfriends, even "facts" that I "read" or "heard somewhere."
I can't figure out how to stop myself from doing this. The best I can do is recant immediately, like, "That's not true. I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that," or "It wasn't really that bad. She was perfectly nice about it. I think it was mostly in my head." But I can't prevent myself from telling the lie in the first place.
The lie comes to me more naturally than the truth, even when there's nothing to gain. When somebody says, "Have you ever done [x]?" it's easier for me to say "yes" if I haven't and "no" if I have.
Even though I try not to tell major lies to people close to me, it's still exhausting to keep it all straight and embarrassing when I get caught, and I assume I have a reputation. How do I stop this? | I can't stop telling lies, even when there's nothing to gain from them. How do I stop? |