Taranosaurus/bash-org-archive.com · Datasets at Hugging Face

qid stringlengths 2 7	score stringlengths 1 5	quote stringlengths 14 6.99k
#841280	3484	<Xikaze> I believe my mom finally realized that calling my brother a son of a bitch was fairly stupid on her part
#65700	20	<fro> get dub war vs panacea - strike it.mp3 too, you'd like that <fro> when I say 'like' I mean it will make you cry <fro> and not in a good way
#65674	177	<Deke> i want impossible creatures <[Fang]> go to a cheap strip club <Deke> .. <Deke> they sell computer gamers at strip clubs now?
#65672	125	<Shinji> You get martin luther king day off because it's symbolic of black people not working
#65677	566	[12:10] <KeeperX> Uptime: 1w 6d 30m 27s 74ms [12:10] <KeeperX> that is what you can do with windows uptime, boys and girls. [12:54] <KeeperX> HOLY SHIT, THE COMPUTER'S ON FIRE!
#65693	1070	<@Blaxthos> can anyone see this ? <@heath> no <@jsb> no <@Blaxthos> good * Blaxthos heads to the women's locker room
#65230	239	<Nimduin> Holy fucking shit. <Nimduin> http://www.mclaren4sale.com/main.html <Match> Bet you could get that girl you're always talking about in that car. <sede> Yeah, the bitch couldn't dodge me in that sweet ride, I'd wear her like a hood ornament
#65222	250	<Minion> I think I might have genital herpes. <Minion> Holy fucking shit <Minion> Why does herpes.com have a dating service? <Minion> "I got genital herpes! Better go spread it!"
#65225	617	<stout> :D\-< <stout> :D\|-< <stout> :D\|> <stout> :D\|-< <stout> :D/-< <stout> :D\|-< <stout> :D\|> <stout> :D\|-< <stout> :D\-< <stout> :D\|-< <stout> :D\|-< <stout> :)\|-< <stout> :\|<-< <stout> =(<-<
#65655	187	<Tramtrist> anyone seen vaun?(fucko?) <Tramtrist> someone post on vn and tell him to get in here pzl (plz) <Mardom> i saw him giving sexual favors to men <Tramtrist> k <Tramtrist> anyone not a complete tard see him? <Mardom> haha <Mardom> good luck finding one of those in here <Tramtrist> yeah ;/
#65256	-69	NotSpudBoy : http://www.bash.org/?5259 FishingForCoins : haha FishingForCoins : What's this? NotSpudBoy : Just a site with a whole bunch of chat quotes. FishingForCoins : ... FishingForCoins : http://www.bash.org/?1964 NotSpudBoy : God we're geeks.
#841903	410	<ZS-Hawk> When I turned 18, I got a gillette mach 3 in the mail from the air force I think. I opened it up in front of my parents, and my dad says "ooh, nice razor! I'm going to do to that one what you do with mine!" and before he could finish his sentence, I said "noo! Don't shave your balls with my razor!" and before he could think, he laughingly said "no, I mean beat it on the sink until the blades are all crooked!" <ZS-Hawk> About 10 minutes of my mom giggling and my dad realized what I said, but I was out the door. It never came up again.
#65530	831	<lav> pandas are black and white, lamer <lav> that bear is solid grey <Zhuzhen> hey Lav, join #avaxx for a sec. <lav> ok? <Zhuzhen> no one in there? <Zhuzhen> yeah, that's the room of people that care.
#65595	837	<MrFixIt> kekekekekekekeke zerg rush ^____^ <MrFixIt> That's all the Korean I know
#65605	199	<druid> orgies, are they like birthday parties? <Deimos> what? the older you get the less fun they become? <druid> Deimos: it's like some old couples try to spice up their dimming sex life with nudism <druid> but end in a situation "can you please remove your saggy breast from my coffee
#65579	176	[+]Kamz\|gawne> i wont talk to you unless ur keyboard drivers are open source
#65618	121	<Baker> They look like they wouldn't exactly be intulectials though :D
#65215	387	<DoctorRiff> i hear that every year the piro comes out of his hole in the ground and if he sees his shadow we will have 6 more weeks of delayed comics
#65174	104	<an_ass733> How do you tell if your roommate is gay? When his dick tastes like shit.
#64779	313	<@TreeSquid> i wonder what percentage of people jerk off at work.... <@TreeSquid> i know i used to <SLiVeR> I never did <cokey> i used to <cokey> when i worked at the daycare....
#64802	733	<Thom> How can a guy be offended by male nudity? <Thom> Did you have trouble showering? <Thom> OH FUCK OH FUCK ITS A PENIS
#64854	177	<Gobi> know what's better than pasta? <Feat> pornography <Gobi> more pasta! <Gobi> ...and that <Feat> porn pasta? <Gobi> porno-getti <Feat> ravi-hole-ey <Feat> hmm <Gobi> hmm indeed <Gobi> heh heh heh <Gobi> we could market to all the college dropouts in Canada and make billions off their unspent student loans!
#841699	342	<timtim> the recession is worse then a divorce, i've lost 50% of my assets and still have my wife
#65175	281	<Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D with your geeky friends.
#65120	4721	<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had <lasombra> tumult ? <tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine <tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth) <tumult> he says bullshit <tumult> i tell him to fuck off <tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times <tumult> sits back down <tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care <tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk <tumult> from my lip <tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say <tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?" <zyko^> what did she do? <tumult> punched me in the face
#65024	-150	<SteamedHams> anyway i have a question about the US <+firehawk> sure man <SteamedHams> if you drop a watermelon off the empire state building, does it get eaten by negroes before it hits the ground?
#65112	228	<Turd_Ferguson> static he is also a digital gangster <static> digital gangster? <static> wtf does that mean? <static> he haf a digital crew of thugs? <static> a shit load of 1's and 0's?
#64252	223	<_anarchy> heheh <_anarchy> about time <Night`> took me a while, because i am special <_anarchy> indeed <jokes> Night, special isn't the word =) <Night`> but it is the euphemism
#64327	907	<IgnusDei> i hate my BROTHER <IgnusDei> and MY SISTER <Hyperian> i love your sister <IgnusDei> no you wouldn't <IgnusDei> oh sure the sex is great at first <IgnusDei> but then she's such a bitch
#64445	754	<timmo> i remember when my art teacher the first day of class <timmo> first day of highschool <timmo> made us write a a one page essay <timmo> on <timmo> "WHY PORN IS NOT ART" <timmo> i think thats what set the mood for me hating him for the rest of my highschool career <timmo> so i wrote one on why i thought porn was art <timmo> and got 0 for it <timmo> i shrugged it off though <arse-poet> so why was porn art <arse-poet> according to your essay <timmo> i dont know <timmo> i think it had something to do with airbrushing <arse-poet> lol <timmo> i cant really remember <jestuh> lol
#64168	52	<EvilN> i still dont get why water cooling doesnt fry the circuitry.
#64347	574	<power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril Lavigne CD? <power> dammit <power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating <bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail the seven seas?
#843808	229	< bluehat> the more I think about it, the more I realize I don't really need a perfect world to be happy < bluehat> I'd easily settle for one where it is physically impossible for a bathroom to run out of toilet paper < andrewjb> careful what you wish for < andrewjb> you may get that, but have to reuse the same sheets of toilet paper
#64745	389	<egg> I said I was back with Cake. I never said there was enough for everyoone <Diet_Crack> IM ETHIOPIAN.. POOR, HUNGRY, NOW GIVE ME CAKE <kooshy> didn't napster teach you anything about sharing? <egg> Yes. <egg> Don't.
#64169	244	Mace\|brb has quit (COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.)
#64328	244	<Jester{work}> butt sex is like spinach , if you're forced to eat it when you're a kid you wont like it as an adult.
#64732	796	[StrikeBot] 65. Who sought to create The Great Society? [StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__ [Chevelle] bhudda [Video] Lando Calrisian [MinuS] lando calrisian
#64184	107	<DigiBree> my uncle once took a huge length of dental floss and i asked him what he was doin with it...and he said he was going to floss between his bum cheeks......then he went into the bathroom :/ <Rake> lol thats just fucked :P
#63811	2157	<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale, and my girlfriend followed me in. All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D, and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?" <crunchyfish> I don't know, man. That's pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?
#63755	29	Dr SpaZZo: LOLOOLL in the locker room at school Dr SpaZZo: Theres this fat, mentally retarded kid who always asks us for pennies Dr SpaZZo: and someone today gave him a quarter Dr SpaZZo: so he started asking for quarters Dr SpaZZo: On Monday someone's going to bring in a 500 dollar monopoly bill, and maybe some houses
#64166	4	<imbezol> one thing about dvorak though... you never make typos because you're watching the screen all the time and never the keyboard
#64096	809	<clippy> 11:21pm up 42 days, 49 min, 2 users, load average: 0.03, 0.04, 0.00 <clippy> do you know how long it took me to get that uptime? <Apollo-> clippy: About 42 days
#64123	271	<filefly> and she asked me "should i be worried?" i said "no, you wanna know what i think?" <filefly> so i told her <filefly> "...and the prospect of finding her perfect educational institution threatens to overwhelm her tiny brain" <filefly> which normally would've made her laugh <filefly> had i not left the letters "i" and "n" off of "brain" * filefly bashes head on desk repeatedly
#842650	386	<Helen> Well my husband never yells at me <Helen> Neither he swears nor say rude stuff to ppl <Helen> And he almost never stays late by computer <Helen> And he never cheats on me and never goes to that horrible drinking places like pubs and stuff <Helen> Isn't he great?! ^_^ <DialSoft> Hmmmm.......... <DialSoft> Try poking him with a stick <DialSoft> He seems pretty dead
#64118	716	<DunSnukIn> im starting to think aol isnt as good as they say
#64099	407	<Meyowith> 875 sparks one piston does <Meyowith> on a v8 <Meyowith> doing 7000rpms <CrazySpence> pfft <CrazySpence> my hard drive does more RPM than that <CrazySpence> lol <Meyowith> but how much torque does your harddrive have <Meyowith> :P <nataku> more than a HONDA <Meyowith> HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHHA
#64125	142	<qta> hi ircop can you help me? * qta is away (AutoAway After 10Secs.)
#63886	215	<Maksim> bash: rtfm: command not found
#64138	20	<Espresso> you should wipe it down with some alcohol and shit just to be safe <nas> you should give the same advice to your roommate when he gets back <Espresso> naw, i was careful to stay on my side <nas> of the bed?
#63497	264	[\|313\|GTSR] i just rememberd i have test tomarrow [\|313\|GTSR] i hate HS (rAzor) You'd better pray it's not a spelling test. :
#63248	322	<[33rd-A]Ruger> i've actually considered assassination in order to get a girl <Logic_BomB> your into necrophilia too eh?
#63352	102	<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now <Spacer> she works as a teacher <Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo <Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean <Spacer> so she went to the head of year <Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes <Spacer> but they were all clean still <Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out <Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside <Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor <Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl <Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean <Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out" <Spacer> so she walks off <Spacer> and the smell goes <Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom <Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties" <Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old :P
#63088	529	<JosephSpiros> just got Cable Modem <JosephSpiros> I'm going a bit insane <JosephSpiros> OMG <JosephSpiros> CABLE MDOEM MEANS <JosephSpiros> I CAN WAKE UP AT ANY TIME <JosephSpiros> AND JUST BE ONLINE <JosephSpiros> :D:D:D <RangerRick> haha <RangerRick> and more importantly... now your porn can MOVE! <JosephSpiros> I KNOW!
#63093	345	<`RaSh> how do i install linux i got the cd and i dont see the setup.exe or install.exe
#842161	2153	<Skail[IRON]> I get a girlfriend-free evening, tonight. <Skail[IRON]> All evening. <Skail[IRON]> :D <Skail[IRON]> I'm thinking I'm going to sit on the couch in my underwear, drink beer, and watch porn. <Driedsponge> You don't do that WITH your girlfriend? <Skail[IRON]> No, she makes me drink wine.
#63320	958	<tragic> i would seriously pay money, like... movie ticket prices (per incident), if there was a device that allowed people to teleport from one place to another during irc conversations. it would be all like <tragic> <aZnb0i002> MAN FuK U ILL CUM 2 UR hUouSE and RaPE ur MOM biTCH ill FUCK you uP! <tragic> <john> oh seriously? warp <tragic> <john> hi <tragic> <aZnb0i002> oh, hello there sir. i think you were talking to my brother a minute ago. however, he left me to give you his sincerest apologies and sends word that he hopes your mother is doing exceptionally well today
#63091	209	<sic_> where the fuck could i find some decent fucking wallpaper <C4thY> home depot <C4thY> hahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahahhahhahhahah you walked right into that one dipshit
#63148	1820	[@\|Asriel] I just got a crazy telemarket call [@\|Asriel] an autoglass repair shop, asking if we had any damaged auto glass we'd like a free quote on [@\|Asriel] I wondered if that was a variant on "is your refrigerator running" [@\|Asriel] if I had broken glass, I'd do something about it [@Mono] lol [@\|Asriel] not sit around hoping someone will call me up [@\|Asriel] 911 doesnt call you up randomly "We were wondering if anybody happens to be dying, traped, giving birth, or breaking into your home at the moment" [@\|Asriel] "I'm so glad you called, there's a guy holding a gun to my face" [@Mono] rofl
#63087	875	<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n films to wank over <riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.
#63505	349	<Nugget> hint: if you're going to mispel a word, choose a word that isn't "illeterate" <Nugget> your dumb.
#63086	447	< PrincessLeia2> :q < PrincessLeia2> oops < TonicBH> what kind of face is that? < PrincessLeia2> not a facey, I was trying to quit vim %(
#63068	1	<AlSkapone> It sounds like someone has sand in their Vagina.
#63074	78	<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc <MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james <doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P <MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines its not shock <doggie^> rofl <MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom matrix <MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible <MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass <MS^Zealot> etc
#63070	96	<@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i find Myst install directions with my computer stuff <@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1
#63076	133	<Affinity> yo <Affinity> asl? <ReGnIF> hey sup? <ReGnIF> 16 m jhb u? <Affinity> man i was gonna ask, can i ReGniF you backwards.... <ReGnIF> thast my surname
#262353	14025	<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike <goatboy> what? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> er? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> and? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> ... <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> i dont get it <MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL. <goatboy> bastard
#842604	1131	lml-mike: i love to speak just after people saying : "...or not" lml-mike: it's compatible with EVERYTHING people says Quinten: you arent gay lml-mike: ... lml-mike: almost everything
#63084	598	(doggie^): i would type that word, but i cant spell it (doggie^): the one about getting pleasure from other people's misery (slippy^): anal sex?
#63064	130	< Scribble> Must be interesting to live with the animal that ruined your life. < Scribble> ... < Scribble> Ask any married guy.
#63085	170	<ecoli> my cock is so big whenever i try to stick it in a girl, it overwrites EIP and she core dumps on my bed. :(
#63067	184	<+N-Bomb\|Super_Pants> You know what I find funny... <+N-Bomb\|Super_Pants> Companies like Sony <+N-Bomb\|Super_Pants> Who produce the copy protected CDs... <+N-Bomb\|Super_Pants> Yet also produce things which can crack it <@ketsugi\|scanning> like marker pens? <+N-Bomb\|Super_Pants> CD-R drives <@ketsugi\|scanning> close enough
#63077	175	<mindstorms> i do what i please and i please who i do.
#62899	40	*** You were kicked by Carrot_Top (1 800 c-a-ll att)
#62907	110	<MoeFugger> shit, when i go back to my high school, i feel like r kelly at the playground <PhD> are you sure thats not the elementry school you frequent? <MoeFugger> :\|
#63048	3237	<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...
#62902	333	<MaNiAk> damnit <MaNiAk> damnit damnit <MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit <Psyko> lol <Psyko> what kinda porn? <MaNiAk> not even porn <Andaru> German Scheisse <MaNiAk> www.maniak.tk <MaNiAk> yea <MaNiAk> its lolita porn * Psyko pretends he's not interested <Psyko> ew lolita porn <haylo> Thats horrible. * haylo clicks * Psyko clicks as well
#841294	364	<+ajrez> same job when i moved across the street the cubes were lower, typical gray, and huge, 8x10 or something <+ajrez> at that location i ran some 2x4s up to 7' and covered my cube with camoflage netting <+ajrez> so in the middle of this giant room filled with cubes there was this bunker in the middle of it <+ajrez> CEO would give tours to investors... "and that over there is the security team" "ohhhhhhh" /knowing nods/
#62981	702	<DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it. <DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella <open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.
#62922	265	<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist
#62988	1763	<RushMore> fuck yuo <RushMore> fuck yuo <RushMore> fuc kyou <Diablo1399> okay rushmore, you've tried to say "fuck you" 3 times now and you still can't get it <RushMore> twice <RushMore> the seconds was a repeat of the first <Diablo1399> whatever, you're still retarded <RushMore> fukc you
#63054	205	* kurt[A] is now known as kurt * kurt was away, and is back from: life <Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?
#63049	255	* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the wind <moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over <moktod> brb * moktod hides under desk
#62882	938	<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink <@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor <+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy
#62814	1347	<Hawkeye> Spiderman reminds me of adolesence. One day a teenage guy wakes up with muscles, hair in new places and the ability to spray white sticky goo around the house.
#62810	294	<Kcred1176> you have to be circumcised to their magazine <cmn22> ????? <jrock81> easy killer <Mooky13> what? <Kcred1176> subscribed <Kcred1176> sorry
#62874	605	<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::... ..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::
#62851	37	<Tikola> i still dont understand how that <3 can mean great or better or fabulous or what ever.. greater than
#830555	4029	<Avery> I called AOL tech support once <Avery> I was hungover <Avery> and couldn't find my pants <Avery> so I called them <Avery> the lady told me to look under the kitchen table <Avery> andthere they were <Avery> how she knew that is beyond me
#62886	688	·Kersus· ... - ..- .--. .. -.. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .-- .... --- .-. . ... ·cronO· morse code? ·Sudhra· .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / -.. --- -. - / ..- -. -.. . .-. . ... - .. -- .- - . / .. - ·Kersus· .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- .. .-.. . ... --..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- --- .-. . ·iggz· I can't believe you two are ACTUALLY talking in morse code
#62847	117	<Muzzle79> i'm so poor that we make the koolaid with water, then steal a bunch of sugar packets from restraunts so that we can add sugar to each glass... <Astanix> lol <Astanix> awesome * Muzzle79 is serious.. i've done it before.. <Muzzle79> lol <Jerki1989> im so poor i cant even afford to go to the restraunt to steal sugar.... <Muzzle79> by restraunts i mean <Muzzle79> arbys
#62842	314	<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?
#62799	497	<Gudrow> being a virgin at 25 is one thing, being a FEMALE virgin at 25 is...unheard of...except in cases of gross physical deformity <Al> I don't know any 25 year old male virgins either <Gudrow> you're sitting in a channel full of people who are well on their way <Al> Gudrow: good point
#62877	1540	<Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said "COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me" <Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing <APE_> is she hot? <Dilbert> yes <Dilbert> my sister is very hot <Chris_Walken> .................... <ragnarok2040> ............ <ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org <Dilbert> why?
#62798	1080	<looooly> hello , I have a problem and i need help <looooly> ? <voidnull> ok. don't ask your question, though. 'cause we can read your mind. <looooly> really .so whats my problem <voidnull> ??? <voidnull> I think your problem is you're having difficulties understanding sarcasm.
#62789	208	<Charles> I've got mock exams network <Charles> oops .... *next week <Neil> now theres an example of someone who spends too much damn time on the computer.
#62790	102	<FlipTopBx> damnit, last night i fell asleep with my space heater on. <FlipTopBx> i had three boxes of Cracker Jack, each with the contents fused together into a sort of super-popcorn. <nitrifik_> neat <nitrifik_> eat them <FlipTopBx> heh. that would be the obvious thing to do. i'm not in the process of trying to "thaw" them out.
#62749	276	<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper", which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit. <fluffy> .... <Massive_Potato> ...what the hell <MishimaYukio> Well, I mention it because, well, if God didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he wouldn't have invented bloopers. <fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years <DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio
#62695	252	<HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common? <HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in
#830989	1010	babygrl168572: oh so ur kalling me ignent i see MeatCutterDrummer: I don't think I need to after that statement
#62707	226	* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla all the time: <choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" \| less; } <rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links http://bash.org/\?$1 } <martin> You lazy addicted fucks. * martin adds it.

#841280

3484

<Xikaze> I believe my mom finally realized that calling my brother a son of a bitch was fairly stupid on her part

#65700

20

<fro> get dub war vs panacea - strike it.mp3 too, you'd like that <fro> when I say 'like' I mean it will make you cry <fro> and not in a good way

#65674

177

<Deke> i want impossible creatures <[Fang]> go to a cheap strip club <Deke> .. <Deke> they sell computer gamers at strip clubs now?

#65672

125

<Shinji> You get martin luther king day off because it's symbolic of black people not working

#65677

566

[12:10] <KeeperX> Uptime: 1w 6d 30m 27s 74ms [12:10] <KeeperX> that is what you can do with windows uptime, boys and girls. [12:54] <KeeperX> HOLY SHIT, THE COMPUTER'S ON FIRE!

#65693

1070

<@Blaxthos> can anyone see this ? <@heath> no <@jsb> no <@Blaxthos> good * Blaxthos heads to the women's locker room

#65230

239

<Nimduin> Holy fucking shit. <Nimduin> http://www.mclaren4sale.com/main.html <Match> Bet you could get that girl you're always talking about in that car. <sede> Yeah, the bitch couldn't dodge me in that sweet ride, I'd wear her like a hood ornament

#65222

250

<Minion> I think I might have genital herpes. <Minion> Holy fucking shit <Minion> Why does herpes.com have a dating service? <Minion> "I got genital herpes! Better go spread it!"

#65225

617

#65655

187

<Tramtrist> anyone seen vaun?(fucko?) <Tramtrist> someone post on vn and tell him to get in here pzl (plz) <Mardom> i saw him giving sexual favors to men <Tramtrist> k <Tramtrist> anyone not a complete tard see him? <Mardom> haha <Mardom> good luck finding one of those in here <Tramtrist> yeah ;/

#65256

-69

NotSpudBoy : http://www.bash.org/?5259 FishingForCoins : haha FishingForCoins : What's this? NotSpudBoy : Just a site with a whole bunch of chat quotes. FishingForCoins : ... FishingForCoins : http://www.bash.org/?1964 NotSpudBoy : God we're geeks.

#841903

410

<ZS-Hawk> When I turned 18, I got a gillette mach 3 in the mail from the air force I think. I opened it up in front of my parents, and my dad says "ooh, nice razor! I'm going to do to that one what you do with mine!" and before he could finish his sentence, I said "noo! Don't shave your balls with my razor!" and before he could think, he laughingly said "no, I mean beat it on the sink until the blades are all crooked!" <ZS-Hawk> About 10 minutes of my mom giggling and my dad realized what I said, but I was out the door. It never came up again.

#65530

831

<lav> pandas are black and white, lamer <lav> that bear is solid grey <Zhuzhen> hey Lav, join #avaxx for a sec. <lav> ok? <Zhuzhen> no one in there? <Zhuzhen> yeah, that's the room of people that care.

#65595

837

<MrFixIt> kekekekekekekeke zerg rush ^____^ <MrFixIt> That's all the Korean I know

#65605

199

<druid> orgies, are they like birthday parties? <Deimos> what? the older you get the less fun they become? <druid> Deimos: it's like some old couples try to spice up their dimming sex life with nudism <druid> but end in a situation "can you please remove your saggy breast from my coffee

#65579

176

[+]Kamz|gawne> i wont talk to you unless ur keyboard drivers are open source

#65618

121

<Baker> They look like they wouldn't exactly be intulectials though :D

#65215

387

<DoctorRiff> i hear that every year the piro comes out of his hole in the ground and if he sees his shadow we will have 6 more weeks of delayed comics

#65174

104

<an_ass733> How do you tell if your roommate is gay? When his dick tastes like shit.

#64779

313

<@TreeSquid> i wonder what percentage of people jerk off at work.... <@TreeSquid> i know i used to <SLiVeR> I never did <cokey> i used to <cokey> when i worked at the daycare....

#64802

733

<Thom> How can a guy be offended by male nudity? <Thom> Did you have trouble showering? <Thom> OH FUCK OH FUCK ITS A PENIS

#64854

177

<Gobi> know what's better than pasta? <Feat> pornography <Gobi> more pasta! <Gobi> ...and that <Feat> porn pasta? <Gobi> porno-getti <Feat> ravi-hole-ey <Feat> hmm <Gobi> hmm indeed <Gobi> heh heh heh <Gobi> we could market to all the college dropouts in Canada and make billions off their unspent student loans!

#841699

342

<timtim> the recession is worse then a divorce, i've lost 50% of my assets and still have my wife

#65175

281

<Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D with your geeky friends.

#65120

4721

<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had <lasombra> tumult ? <tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine <tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth) <tumult> he says bullshit <tumult> i tell him to fuck off <tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times <tumult> sits back down <tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care <tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk <tumult> from my lip <tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say <tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?" <zyko^> what did she do? <tumult> punched me in the face

#65024

-150

<SteamedHams> anyway i have a question about the US <+firehawk> sure man <SteamedHams> if you drop a watermelon off the empire state building, does it get eaten by negroes before it hits the ground?

#65112

228

<Turd_Ferguson> static he is also a digital gangster <static> digital gangster? <static> wtf does that mean? <static> he haf a digital crew of thugs? <static> a shit load of 1's and 0's?

#64252

223

<_anarchy> heheh <_anarchy> about time <Night`> took me a while, because i am special <_anarchy> indeed <jokes> Night, special isn't the word =) <Night`> but it is the euphemism

#64327

907

<IgnusDei> i hate my BROTHER <IgnusDei> and MY SISTER <Hyperian> i love your sister <IgnusDei> no you wouldn't <IgnusDei> oh sure the sex is great at first <IgnusDei> but then she's such a bitch

#64445

754

<timmo> i remember when my art teacher the first day of class <timmo> first day of highschool <timmo> made us write a a one page essay <timmo> on <timmo> "WHY PORN IS NOT ART" <timmo> i think thats what set the mood for me hating him for the rest of my highschool career <timmo> so i wrote one on why i thought porn was art <timmo> and got 0 for it <timmo> i shrugged it off though <arse-poet> so why was porn art <arse-poet> according to your essay <timmo> i dont know <timmo> i think it had something to do with airbrushing <arse-poet> lol <timmo> i cant really remember <jestuh> lol

#64168

52

<EvilN> i still dont get why water cooling doesnt fry the circuitry.

#64347

574

<power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril Lavigne CD? <power> dammit <power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating <bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail the seven seas?

#843808

229

< bluehat> the more I think about it, the more I realize I don't really need a perfect world to be happy < bluehat> I'd easily settle for one where it is physically impossible for a bathroom to run out of toilet paper < andrewjb> careful what you wish for < andrewjb> you may get that, but have to reuse the same sheets of toilet paper

#64745

389

<egg> I said I was back with Cake. I never said there was enough for everyoone <Diet_Crack> IM ETHIOPIAN.. POOR, HUNGRY, NOW GIVE ME CAKE <kooshy> didn't napster teach you anything about sharing? <egg> Yes. <egg> Don't.

#64169

244

Mace|brb has quit (COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.)

#64328

244

<Jester{work}> butt sex is like spinach , if you're forced to eat it when you're a kid you wont like it as an adult.

#64732

796

[StrikeBot] 65. Who sought to create The Great Society? [StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__ [Chevelle] bhudda [Video] Lando Calrisian [MinuS] lando calrisian

#64184

107

<DigiBree> my uncle once took a huge length of dental floss and i asked him what he was doin with it...and he said he was going to floss between his bum cheeks......then he went into the bathroom :/ <Rake> lol thats just fucked :P

#63811

2157

<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale, and my girlfriend followed me in. All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D, and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?" <crunchyfish> I don't know, man. That's pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?

#63755

29

Dr SpaZZo: LOLOOLL in the locker room at school Dr SpaZZo: Theres this fat, mentally retarded kid who always asks us for pennies Dr SpaZZo: and someone today gave him a quarter Dr SpaZZo: so he started asking for quarters Dr SpaZZo: On Monday someone's going to bring in a 500 dollar monopoly bill, and maybe some houses

#64166

4

<imbezol> one thing about dvorak though... you never make typos because you're watching the screen all the time and never the keyboard

#64096

809

<clippy> 11:21pm up 42 days, 49 min, 2 users, load average: 0.03, 0.04, 0.00 <clippy> do you know how long it took me to get that uptime? <Apollo-> clippy: About 42 days

#64123

271

<filefly> and she asked me "should i be worried?" i said "no, you wanna know what i think?" <filefly> so i told her <filefly> "...and the prospect of finding her perfect educational institution threatens to overwhelm her tiny brain" <filefly> which normally would've made her laugh <filefly> had i not left the letters "i" and "n" off of "brain" * filefly bashes head on desk repeatedly

#842650

386

<Helen> Well my husband never yells at me <Helen> Neither he swears nor say rude stuff to ppl <Helen> And he almost never stays late by computer <Helen> And he never cheats on me and never goes to that horrible drinking places like pubs and stuff <Helen> Isn't he great?! ^_^ <DialSoft> Hmmmm.......... <DialSoft> Try poking him with a stick <DialSoft> He seems pretty dead

#64118

716

<DunSnukIn> im starting to think aol isnt as good as they say

#64099

407

<Meyowith> 875 sparks one piston does <Meyowith> on a v8 <Meyowith> doing 7000rpms <CrazySpence> pfft <CrazySpence> my hard drive does more RPM than that <CrazySpence> lol <Meyowith> but how much torque does your harddrive have <Meyowith> :P <nataku> more than a HONDA <Meyowith> HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHHA

#64125

142

<qta> hi ircop can you help me? * qta is away (AutoAway After 10Secs.)

#63886

215

<Maksim> bash: rtfm: command not found

#64138

20

<Espresso> you should wipe it down with some alcohol and shit just to be safe <nas> you should give the same advice to your roommate when he gets back <Espresso> naw, i was careful to stay on my side <nas> of the bed?

#63497

264

[|313|GTSR] i just rememberd i have test tomarrow [|313|GTSR] i hate HS (rAzor) You'd better pray it's not a spelling test. :

#63248

322

<[33rd-A]Ruger> i've actually considered assassination in order to get a girl <Logic_BomB> your into necrophilia too eh?

#63352

102

<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now <Spacer> she works as a teacher <Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo <Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean <Spacer> so she went to the head of year <Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes <Spacer> but they were all clean still <Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out <Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside <Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor <Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl <Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean <Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out" <Spacer> so she walks off <Spacer> and the smell goes <Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom <Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties" <Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old :P

#63088

529

<JosephSpiros> just got Cable Modem <JosephSpiros> I'm going a bit insane <JosephSpiros> OMG <JosephSpiros> CABLE MDOEM MEANS <JosephSpiros> I CAN WAKE UP AT ANY TIME <JosephSpiros> AND JUST BE ONLINE <JosephSpiros> :D:D:D <RangerRick> haha <RangerRick> and more importantly... now your porn can MOVE! <JosephSpiros> I KNOW!

#63093

345

<`RaSh> how do i install linux i got the cd and i dont see the setup.exe or install.exe

#842161

2153

<Skail[IRON]> I get a girlfriend-free evening, tonight. <Skail[IRON]> All evening. <Skail[IRON]> :D <Skail[IRON]> I'm thinking I'm going to sit on the couch in my underwear, drink beer, and watch porn. <Driedsponge> You don't do that WITH your girlfriend? <Skail[IRON]> No, she makes me drink wine.

#63320

958

<tragic> i would seriously pay money, like... movie ticket prices (per incident), if there was a device that allowed people to teleport from one place to another during irc conversations. it would be all like <tragic> <aZnb0i002> MAN FuK U ILL CUM 2 UR hUouSE and RaPE ur MOM biTCH ill FUCK you uP! <tragic> <john> oh seriously? *warp* <tragic> <john> hi <tragic> <aZnb0i002> oh, hello there sir. i think you were talking to my brother a minute ago. however, he left me to give you his sincerest apologies and sends word that he hopes your mother is doing exceptionally well today

#63091

209

<sic_> where the fuck could i find some decent fucking wallpaper <C4thY> home depot <C4thY> hahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahahhahhahhahah you walked right into that one dipshit

#63148

1820

[@|Asriel] I just got a crazy telemarket call [@|Asriel] an autoglass repair shop, asking if we had any damaged auto glass we'd like a free quote on [@|Asriel] I wondered if that was a variant on "is your refrigerator running" [@|Asriel] if I had broken glass, I'd do something about it [@Mono] lol [@|Asriel] not sit around hoping someone will call me up [@|Asriel] 911 doesnt call you up randomly "We were wondering if anybody happens to be dying, traped, giving birth, or breaking into your home at the moment" [@|Asriel] "I'm so glad you called, there's a guy holding a gun to my face" [@Mono] rofl

#63087

875

<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n films to wank over <riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.

#63505

349

<Nugget> hint: if you're going to mispel a word, choose a word that isn't "illeterate" <Nugget> your dumb.

#63086

447

< PrincessLeia2> :q < PrincessLeia2> oops < TonicBH> what kind of face is that? < PrincessLeia2> not a facey, I was trying to quit vim %(

#63068

1

<AlSkapone> It sounds like someone has sand in their Vagina.

#63074

78

<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc <MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james <doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P <MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines its not shock <doggie^> rofl <MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom matrix <MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible <MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass <MS^Zealot> etc

#63070

96

<@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i find Myst install directions with my computer stuff <@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1

#63076

133

<Affinity> yo <Affinity> asl? <ReGnIF> hey sup? <ReGnIF> 16 m jhb u? <Affinity> man i was gonna ask, can i ReGniF you backwards.... <ReGnIF> thast my surname

#262353

14025

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike <goatboy> what? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> er? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> and? <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> ... <MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy. <goatboy> i dont get it <MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL. <goatboy> bastard

#842604

1131

lml-mike: i love to speak just after people saying : "...or not" lml-mike: it's compatible with EVERYTHING people says Quinten: you arent gay lml-mike: ... lml-mike: almost everything

#63084

598

(doggie^): i would type that word, but i cant spell it (doggie^): the one about getting pleasure from other people's misery (slippy^): anal sex?

#63064

130

< Scribble> Must be interesting to live with the animal that ruined your life. < Scribble> ... < Scribble> Ask any married guy.

#63085

170

<ecoli> my cock is so big whenever i try to stick it in a girl, it overwrites EIP and she core dumps on my bed. :(

#63067

184

#63077

175

<mindstorms> i do what i please and i please who i do.

#62899

40

*** You were kicked by Carrot_Top (1 800 c-a-ll att)

#62907

110

<MoeFugger> shit, when i go back to my high school, i feel like r kelly at the playground <PhD> are you sure thats not the elementry school you frequent? <MoeFugger> :|

#63048

3237

<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...

#62902

333

<MaNiAk> damnit <MaNiAk> damnit damnit <MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit <Psyko> lol <Psyko> what kinda porn? <MaNiAk> not even porn <Andaru> German Scheisse <MaNiAk> www.maniak.tk <MaNiAk> yea <MaNiAk> its lolita porn * Psyko pretends he's not interested <Psyko> ew lolita porn <haylo> Thats horrible. * haylo clicks * Psyko clicks as well

#841294

364

<+ajrez> same job when i moved across the street the cubes were lower, typical gray, and huge, 8x10 or something <+ajrez> at that location i ran some 2x4s up to 7' and covered my cube with camoflage netting <+ajrez> so in the middle of this giant room filled with cubes there was this bunker in the middle of it <+ajrez> CEO would give tours to investors... "and that over there is the security team" "ohhhhhhh" /knowing nods/

#62981

702

<DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it. <DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella <open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.

#62922

265

<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist

#62988

1763

<RushMore> fuck yuo <RushMore> fuck yuo <RushMore> fuc kyou <Diablo1399> okay rushmore, you've tried to say "fuck you" 3 times now and you still can't get it <RushMore> twice <RushMore> the seconds was a repeat of the first <Diablo1399> whatever, you're still retarded <RushMore> fukc you

#63054

205

* kurt[A] is now known as kurt * kurt was away, and is back from: life <Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?

#63049

255

* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the wind <moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over <moktod> brb * moktod hides under desk

#62882

938

<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink <@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor <+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy

#62814

1347

<Hawkeye> Spiderman reminds me of adolesence. One day a teenage guy wakes up with muscles, hair in new places and the ability to spray white sticky goo around the house.

#62810

294

<Kcred1176> you have to be circumcised to their magazine <cmn22> ????? <jrock81> easy killer <Mooky13> what? <Kcred1176> subscribed <Kcred1176> sorry

#62874

605

<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::... ..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::

#62851

37

<Tikola> i still dont understand how that <3 can mean great or better or fabulous or what ever.. greater than

#830555

4029

<Avery> I called AOL tech support once <Avery> I was hungover <Avery> and couldn't find my pants <Avery> so I called them <Avery> the lady told me to look under the kitchen table <Avery> andthere they were <Avery> how she knew that is beyond me

#62886

688

·Kersus· ... - ..- .--. .. -.. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .-- .... --- .-. . ... ·cronO· morse code? ·Sudhra· .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / -.. --- -. - / ..- -. -.. . .-. . ... - .. -- .- - . / .. - ·Kersus· .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- .. .-.. . ... --..-- .- -. -.. .. .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. .-- .- .-.. -.- ..-. .. ...- . .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. -- --- .-. . ·iggz· I can't believe you two are ACTUALLY talking in morse code

#62847

117

<Muzzle79> i'm so poor that we make the koolaid with water, then steal a bunch of sugar packets from restraunts so that we can add sugar to each glass... <Astanix> lol <Astanix> awesome * Muzzle79 is serious.. i've done it before.. <Muzzle79> lol <Jerki1989> im so poor i cant even afford to go to the restraunt to steal sugar.... <Muzzle79> by restraunts i mean <Muzzle79> arbys

#62842

314

<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?

#62799

497

<Gudrow> being a virgin at 25 is one thing, being a FEMALE virgin at 25 is...unheard of...except in cases of gross physical deformity <Al> I don't know any 25 year old male virgins either <Gudrow> you're sitting in a channel full of people who are well on their way <Al> Gudrow: good point

#62877

1540

<Dilbert> hahah today was so funny.... me and my sister were watching TV, and i wanted her to change the channel so i said "COME ON!" and she goes "Dont 'come on' me" <Dilbert> then she didnt get why i burst out laughing <APE_> is she hot? <Dilbert> yes <Dilbert> my sister is very hot <Chris_Walken> .................... <ragnarok2040> ............ <ragnarok2040> i hope she doesn't check bash.org <Dilbert> why?

#62798

1080

<looooly> hello , I have a problem and i need help <looooly> ? <voidnull> ok. don't ask your question, though. 'cause we can read your mind. <looooly> really .so whats my problem <voidnull> ??? <voidnull> I think your problem is you're having difficulties understanding sarcasm.

#62789

208

<Charles> I've got mock exams network <Charles> oops .... *next week <Neil> now theres an example of someone who spends too much damn time on the computer.

#62790

102

<FlipTopBx> damnit, last night i fell asleep with my space heater on. <FlipTopBx> i had three boxes of Cracker Jack, each with the contents fused together into a sort of super-popcorn. <nitrifik_> neat <nitrifik_> eat them <FlipTopBx> heh. that would be the obvious thing to do. i'm not in the process of trying to "thaw" them out.

#62749

276

<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper", which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit. <fluffy> .... <Massive_Potato> ...what the hell <MishimaYukio> Well, I mention it because, well, if God didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he wouldn't have invented bloopers. <fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years <DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio

#62695

252

<HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common? <HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in

#830989

1010

babygrl168572: oh so ur kalling me ignent i see MeatCutterDrummer: I don't think I need to after that statement

#62707

226

* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla all the time: <choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; } <rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links http://bash.org/\?$1 } <martin> You lazy addicted fucks. * martin adds it.