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#61930 | 324 | <iota> i think my son is prejudice
<HgR`Your_Dead> [ iota ] why?
<iota> i brought him a black vantriliquist dummy home from
work and he ripped it's legs off
<iota> the really bad part is i picked him up and made his
mouth move and went can a nigga get a wheel chair
|
#61972 | 291 | <BonzoBoy> An honorary degree is like a nerf dildo.
<ramoth4> nerf dildos can be fun....sort of
<Equinas> i use a nerf whip
<Equinas> it's part of the Bondage for Beginners set
|
#61898 | 102 | <FIFpe> Dude, can you ask Andrew to look for my wallet when he
gets home
<FIFpe> Cause I need it hard
<Qinop> yeah
<Qinop> he has it hard
<FIFpe> THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY
<FIFpe> Tell him to stick it...in his mail-box, and I"ll pick
it up on the way to church
<Qinop> we don't have a box, we have a slot
<Qinop> actually it's more like a chute
<Qinop> so we will stick it in our "door"
<FIFPe> sweet
|
#61852 | 379 | <PuBeNeMy-> bahaha
<PuBeNeMy-> jaymee just walked by the bird
<PuBeNeMy-> and it yelled
<PuBeNeMy-> SLUT
<cvc> although it does sound funny
<Matt^^^> PuBeNeMy-: have you been teaching the bird dirty
words?
<cvc> nah, he's been teaching the bird to be a judge of
character
|
#61810 | 334 | <i386> http://www.bash.org/?21858 <----- ROFL!
<illusi0n> haha
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?7755 <---- ABHHHAHHAH! :D SO SO
TRUE!
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?4395 <--- muahah, Linux Conf 2003
<i386> http://www.bash.org/?31318 <--- hehe, reminds me of
atomic
<BenZor> ^^____ HAHA SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LAME FUCKING
BASH.ORG LINKING N00b, WE'RE ALL FUCKING ADDICTED AND HAVE
SEEN IT BEFORE
|
#61891 | 263 | <rawb-> Hey nyisles
<rawb-> Wat doez your nick mean?
<nyisles> it means Niles
<rawb-> nile, like that ocean?
|
#61903 | 213 | (+RC-Cola): it'd be awesome if like there were people
breakdancing
(+RC-Cola): and you just got your boner out and spun like a
top on your boner
(+RC-Cola): and held your feet behind your head in a
suplex-style arc
(+Mr_Legacy): RC: you just might be retarted.
(+RC-Cola): oh my bad
|
#828823 | -107 | <Aenima> if i close my thighs forever......... will it all the
remain the same??????????
<Alerik> nope..someone will use a pry bar when you hit the
morgue
|
#61808 | 247 | <rone> please speak in whole sentences. thanks.
<rone> because this
<rone> is fucking annoying
<rone> to read.
|
#61780 | 261 | <Volt9000> My friend asked me to be in his movie
<Volt9000> I think Im gonna do it
<Volt9000> I must admit my acting skills aren't the greatest
<Volt9000> But I do have SOME acting experience
<tsingtao> <Volt9000> I've managed to convince my whole school
that I'm straight!
|
#61795 | 150 | <Andrew> The EX in NeoEX stands for Extra
XtremeAnalPenetration.
<NeoEX> It's funny cause it's true.
|
#61662 | 788 | <b1u3> when i was in like 5th grade, a DARE cop came to visit
our class
<b1u3> he was going through his whole deal like 'yes im a real
police officer, and this is a real gun on my belt, and if you
try to grab it im trained to break your arm upon reflex' and
of course we had a doped up kid with ADD in our class who only
heard 'this is a real gun, try to grab it'
|
#61781 | 159 | <Alberto> "The New Year tradition is offensive to many ethnic
groups."
<Rev> In order to not offend the Chinese, do you think they
should call it "Happy New Time Unit" for the sake of political
correctness?
<Alberto> Yep
<Destruya> Well, now that the holiday season is over, we can
get back to only caring about ourselves.
<Destruya> YAY SELFISHNESS AND THE AMERICAN WAY
|
#61671 | 190 | <luciphur> think i'll go to kfc and get some blue pepsi
<luciphur> love that shit
<luciphur> and some chips and a kernel burger too
<luciphur> i mean, colonel
<luciphur> lol, got linux on the brain
|
#61798 | 733 | *** f0r-1- has joined #photoshop
<f0r-1-> hi
<djahmar> hi
<f0r-1-> How it hanging?
<f0r-1-> :D
<Anapaest> from here to iowa
<f0r-1-> WHEEE! so, where are you from?
<Anapaest> iowa :(
|
#61806 | -31 | * Rach is happy yet pissed off
<Rach> bloody bitch
* Rach goes to kill becca
<keot> here's a spoon
* metolhead touges Rach's spoon
|
#61680 | 430 | <Charlemagne> monkey? what kind of racial slur is that?
<Mercenary9> A primitive one.
|
#61580 | 19 | * Nark thinks about sniffing some girls coochie to get high
<Nark> bahaha that would kick ass, 'let me get a 50c rock of
booty'
|
#829456 | 3469 | <TB> I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life
Line.
<TB> I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB> I told them I was suicidal.
<TB> They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck
|
#61370 | 201 | <Fredu|mega_sad> vodka would keep us warm
<k2tu> so would stroh 80 :P
<dr_dna> so would not drinking outside in freezing
temperatures
|
#61490 | 214 | <Tenchimaru_Draconis> Put one of those small headphone covers
on your N64 Joystick. It doesn't hurt as much, is nice and
soft, protects the joystick a bit, and your joystick doesn't
get all sweaty after several hours of yanking it around.
|
#61513 | 1293 | <Scibert> Three @s for the IRCops under the sky
<Scibert> Seven for the Op Lords in their channels of stone
<Scibert> Nine for Mortal Chatters doomed to die
<Scibert> One for the Dark Peer on his Dark Throne
<Scibert> In the land of Ping where the Netsplits lie.
<Scibert> One @ to rule them all
<Scibert> One @ to find them
<Scibert> One @ to bring them all
<Scibert> And in the darkness, bind them
<Scibert> In the Land of Ping, where the Netsplits lie.
|
#61470 | 695 | <P1E> greetings, IRCMonkey
<IRCMonkey> Hi, I'm just wandering here, irc 1st timer!
<P1E> there's first time for everything I guess
<P1E> =]
<IRCMonkey> :-))
<IRCMonkey> Good bye! See you!
<-- IRCMonkey has quit (Client Quit)
<P1E> wow, that was, er, short
<CharlieG> the first time usually is
|
#61535 | 1383 | <Slime> I saw a headline on the newspaper today: "Horrific
Rape in Alley", or something.
<Slime> I was like "Is there any other kind of rape?"
<Slime> "HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED"
|
#61348 | 836 | <Bruns> I got used to people calling me 'Miss' or 'Maam' on
the phone when doing support
<Bruns> then they apologize like crazy after I tell them my
name
<Bruns> "Oh, I'm sorry sir. Its just that..."
<Bruns> "...That I sound like a girl. I know. Thanks for
reminding me."
|
#61444 | 630 | <Cloudy_Bear> hey you know how on the simpsons when they
scream, their tongues kinda vibrate?
<Cloudy_Bear> well anyway, I was practicing doing that in the
bathroom
<Cloudy_Bear> and this girl like walks in and is like
"uhmm.... hi..?"
|
#61351 | 350 | * @PsykoDave eats his King Sized Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle
<@GregTG> Wow dave.
<@GregTG> That's a long way to go for a synonym of "cock"
|
#61533 | 29 | <DarxusZzZ> it's like it's not reading the resolv.conf
<kuruption> Darxus, you're running linux?
<DarxusZzZ> on this machine? no, on the one I'm trying to
fucking install gentoo on? yes
<kuruption> i have a FAQ for you on how to resolve that
problem.... www.freebsd.org
<kuruption> hahaha
|
#61362 | 228 | <ruckuz> but then again i was really poor as a child. good
thing i was a boy otherwise i wouldn't have had anything to
play with
|
#826453 | 2072 | <cannibal> Im playing tetris, and why won't the square pieces
spin like the others?
<therion> ...
|
#61341 | 17 | <Clay> cs is like the eqivalent of eminem every 13year old
loves it
|
#61147 | 323 | <Dark_Ayanami> Popups have been around since the dawn of porn.
Prehistoric, pornographic cave paintings would interrupt
primitive man's masturbation with other paintings popping up
hawking larger genitalia/clubs/wheels/fires.
<Dark_Ayanami> Then the first man would bash the new painter
with his club (a primitive version of a mouse) and get back to
"work".
<Dark_Ayanami> This is the first demonstrated case of "popup
rage".
|
#61129 | 744 | <Paden> some of you people have the smallist ego in the world
and you get your jollys off buy ban/kicking someone well thats
sad you pick on me becouse i have bad grammer and can't spell
good well you need to look you're fag ass in the mirror and
look at a dumb fuck who has no life and will never have one
and the only girlfrien you ever had was palmla handerson ans
her 5 friends
<Alarach> guess that's not me.
<Minion> smallest
<Minion> jollies
<Minion> grammar
<Alarach> because
<Venkmen> because
<Venkmen> grammar
<Alarach> your
<Paden> fuck you
<Minion> haha
<Venkmen> your
<Paden> fuck you
<Alarach> girlfriend
|
#61227 | 177 | <Tont0> TCP/IP illustrated needs a swimsuit issue
|
#61272 | 165 | <Yora> *dryly* you arent paying for it and the company doesnt
make money off you playing, what would you call it?
<FireIsFun> Grand Theft Data
|
#61127 | 201 | <aweigh> Physical pain?
<aweigh> Sign me up.
<WussyBoy> Pain can be fun, but certainly not in a sexual way
<aweigh> Obviously you've never had a donkey punch.
<Galvatron> ...that was in no way appropriate
|
#61085 | 243 | <Oolong> <Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet =
convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning,
and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know
jack about you
<Oolong> he forgot convinced they're japanese
<Oolong> "aya, Britney Spears no kawaii desu nyo! ^O^^^O^O^^O^
"
|
#61110 | 605 | <Ralp> Does it pop up a window that says "WARNING!! Your
computer is currently broadcasting an IP address! With this
IP address hackers can immediately begin attack your computer!
Click here to enlarge your penis!"
|
#61239 | 364 | <maff> i know how to curb your childs videogame addiction
<maff> buy them a mac
|
#61317 | 276 | * [TxC]-LaSeK is back from having hot sex. I was gone for
3secs
|
#827518 | 3405 | <kinzey> i want to go out with a girl
<kinzey> and lay in the field
<kinzey> real romatic like
<kinzey> and just stare at the full moon
<kinzey> and she'll say something along the lines of "the
moon's so beautiful tonight"
<kinzey> and i'll just be like
<kinzey> "that's no moon... THAT'S A BATTLESTATION!!!"
<kinzey> and then run to the car and leave her ass there
<Chris> wow
|
#60932 | 149 | <voltstfu> :(
<voltstfu> you suck :(
<voltstfu> i hope you have a hernia that spills into your
testicle sack
<voltstfu> and then when they operate
<voltstfu> and resituate the intestinal tract behind a screen
of iron mesh in your abdomen
<voltstfu> ...
<voltstfu> fuck it, i think the hernia is bad enough
|
#60997 | 220 | <Godsey> I want to beta test EverQuest 2 and get paid for it
<etrigan> oh i'd do that but so would tons of gamers :/
<Godsey> I'm highly qualified :)
<Godsey> I am fat and have BO
|
#61064 | 96 | <aleks_> anybody know of a linux app that performs an
operation similar to windows XP's "bridge network"?
<@Lion-O> aleks_: first of all, what does that thing do ?
<PufF-> its a cheat to get around the 'hassle' of subnet'ing
<@Lion-O> aleks_: oh, then I have a solution. Cheat and ask a
real admin to set it up for you, then take the glory. I guess
the app would be called "mail".
|
#61023 | 845 | <Waynebo> Today was haiku day in English class!
<Waynebo> My haiku was Guy in front of me/ Does not know he is
asian/ Karate chop him
<Waynebo> The guy in front of me's haiku was Guy behind of me
/ Wants to karate chop me/ I am very scared
|
#61025 | 80 | I like 2eat tape: when i was in 4 th grade there was this
awesome 5 grader matthew podawski, i rememeber, and he used to
ride his bike to school and mis match socks and and i really
wanted to be his friend but he was so weird and he thanked me
for the offer but was like "one friend in the world is enough"
he then transfered schools
|
#61020 | 147 | <Aurican> i remember when GavJCD tried to nuke me...word nuke
in a private msg....he eventually flooded himself off
|
#61048 | 474 | <RS-Ryan> crap.. i'm having a blonde moument, what's IGMP
again?
<Not_RS_Webby> shit beats the fuck out of me
<Not_RS_Webby> im drunk
<RS-Ryan> God you Cisco support techs suck
|
#60985 | 168 | <ex0> i think i'm crazy
<ex0> i talk to myself in real life
<ex0> ... i'm like a real life gollum
<ex0> minus the fugly
<ex0> plus 7 inches
|
#60996 | 379 | <Realfloat> why does gcc makes exe files?
<Apollo-> *blink*
<Apollo-> maybe because it's a compiler?
|
#827006 | 5223 | ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come
save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece
to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a
mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you
do.
|
#60930 | 390 | <@jwz> yeah, apparently I was getting shafted by perl's
distinction between returning a single value, and returning a
single value.
|
#60866 | 586 | <@dustin> tonight is not my night
<@Patrick> ?
<@dustin> i was putting on some socks..and when i was pulled
the sock up, my hand slipped and hit my nuts..then i fell over
cause it hurt so bad and when i fell i hit my head on the
counter
<@dustin> :(
<@Patrick> wheres the fire?
<@dustin> ermm?
<@Patrick> why were you pulling your socks up so fast
<@dustin> i wanted to get back on irc
|
#60807 | 74 | <Russell> he told me to max out the damn card, but I would
have felt guilty as hell if I did, so I just ordered 5 games,
an S-Video cable, memory card, LOTR extended version, 2 cable
extensions, and B&W with expansion
|
#60805 | 684 | <mutey> whats the lowest priority in linux?
<smcn> mutey: ease of use
|
#60865 | -95 | <Bop|Kat> you know what they say about black guys!
<Mondo> yeah
<Mondo> they steal shit
<Bop|Kat> shut up!
<Bop|Kat> my dads black!
<Mondo> im only screwin round :P
<Bop|Kat> I was only kiddin too
<Bop|Kat> My dad is white
<Bop|Kat> he's an arsehole tho
<Mondo> so he might as well be black ?
|
#60889 | 875 | (@Cypher) a hornet just flew inside :/
(Owen) OMG CALL A SWAT TEAM
|
#60846 | 391 | 1:35a (mdxi) twenty-three hours of logs for this month and
already 9 searches for "legolas porn" and 2 for, even more
disturbingly, "gimli porn"
1:35a (mdxi) some days i think we should all just go back to
fidonet
|
#60822 | 415 | <Hinkey> shrooms dont give flashbacks
<Hinkey> acid does
<Threeboy> you now what has the worst flashbacks?
<Threeboy> mother fucking 'NAM man.
|
#60904 | -609 | <Squiggle> Also:the bottom ones [on bash.org] are some of the
best
<Squiggle> They're all about niggers
<Squiggle> Niggers = funny
<Sulzanti> Not if you have to be in smelling distance
|
#60831 | 800 | ·[steev]· i used to date this chick, she used to strip naked
and rub up and down against me to get me off the computer, it
was like, damn it, im busy
|
#828460 | 2191 | <+DethFromAbove> rmuser she is not ugly
<+DethFromAbove> she is fat yeah
<+DethFromAbove> but I saw past that
<+DethFromAbove> I don't know what to call that
<+DethFromAbove> I'm not sure if it's love or what
<@rmuser> gravitational lensing
|
#60566 | 42 | *** Cav has left #rice
*** Cav has joined #rice
<Cav> whoops
<Cav> wtf did i click then
<Narcolepsy> "wrong button"...
<Narcolepsy> It's like the 'wrong hole' error of IRC..
|
#60708 | 756 | * Hitler has entered #world
* Hitler sets mode: -judaism
* Hitler was kicked from #world by Bullet (NO NAZIS)
|
#60568 | -48 | <decay`> wanna know whats good about 12 year olds, you put
them in a shower and slck there hair.. it makes them look 8
|
#60523 | 1144 | <fcastle> I HAD A NIGHTMARE
<fcastle> IT ALL STARTED NORMAL
<fcastle> 10101010
<fcastle> 10110011
<fcastle> THEN ALL OF A SUDAN
<fcastle> 1100102
<snooz> GAAAAH
|
#60633 | 463 | <perlplexer> perldoc .eh
<perldoc> .eh is western sahara
<perlplexer> hmm, i was expecting Canada
<deus> unfortunately no registrar exists for .eh
<deus> or i would get aboot.eh
<deus> and start irc'ing in #ontario and #vancouver from
what.is.this.all.aboot.eh
|
#60643 | 463 | <Sarin_Died> I forgot to turn off the alarm on my alarm clock
last night, so the radio turned on at 10:30am thismorning
<Sarin_Died> and I hear a car commercial saying "Attention,
would the person with the late 1980's station wagon with fake
wood panels please move your car, you are blocking 7 parking
places" and I got up thinking DAMNIT I have to move my car
|
#60525 | 1060 | <Hostility> so let me get this
<Hostility> ur in a room with ur comp
<Hostility> typing on a keyboard... not with ur fingers
<Hostility> but with ur face
<Hostility> with nothing on but a hat?
<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> y6esw
|
#60660 | 2197 | <Mank> Happy New Year.
<Mank> 666 + 1337 = 2003
<Anders> So the Antichrist is to arrive this year in the form
of a preteen hacker?
<Chris_A> It's the Ap0cA1yp53!!!!111
<Mank> a11 uR j3suz r b3lonG 2 US!!!!!!
|
#60700 | 624 | <hobbit> omg... the reporter on the news just said 'they saw
the suspect busting off a nine mm'
<dis^> hah
<hobbit> thats kinda unprofessional..
<DSLDemon> lol
<hobbit> using slang in a news report..
<DSLDemon> yup it is
<dis^> yeah it is
<dis^> sounds good though
<hobbit> <reporter> And then it was said that he Popped a cap
in one of his own niggahs... he then proceded to roll with his
homies and down a 40
<dis^> lol
<dis^> cool
<hobbit> <reporter> Back to you in the studihizzy
|
#60763 | 388 | * lavhoes is now known as Jesus
-RPGServ:#pvponline- <Roll for Jesus [1d20]: 12>
<Jesus> JESUS SAVES!
|
#826487 | 55 | [Gnimish is working out how to go home to usa from austria for
christmas]
* Gnimsh is frustrated by airlines
<PeterPowell> lol
<PeterPowell> dont fly?
<Gnimsh> should I swim back?
<Gnimsh> take a train?
<Gnimsh> DRIVE?!
<sari> boat?
<Gnimsh> wrong season
<Gnimsh> I looked on 3 different sites.
<PeterPowell> why not stay where you are..?:p
<Gnimsh> visa's up on the 25th of july
<Gnimsh> if they deport me for free, sure
|
#60471 | 220 | <TripleRach> But really I could never find abortion acceptable
because I don't know I have all this maternally love stuff and
I want to have lots of kids someday
<ksennin> TripleRach, I can help you.
<ksennin> I happen to be producing upwards of 1,000 sperms per
second.
<TripleRach> ...
<ksennin> Hypothetically, I could double the world's
population in a couple of weeks.
|
#60291 | 2073 | <Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you
lookin' for a good time"
<Boogieman> and she said "yes"
<Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
<Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
<Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say
|
#60371 | 520 | * Stan (Stan@dhcp024-209-052-025.neo.rr.com) has joined #
techfreax
<Stan> what's c++?
<hypnetric> it's a rap artist
<Stan> he's good?
<hypnetric> lives in chicago
<Klone> He's almost as good as Java.
<hypnetric> yeah java owns
<Stan> do i compare to any of them?
<Klone> No, dude. Java is hardcore.
|
#60459 | 337 | <MikeSweetser> FWIW, 1/1/2003 is essentially the 20th
anniversary of the Internet.
<MikeSweetser> Basically, the day that ARPANET switched its
protocol to TCP/IP.
<kuribo> MikeSweetser: in unrelated news, 1/2/2003 is the 20th
anniversary of warez :)
|
#60314 | 414 | <@psychotik> luckily i bought my booze tomorrow
<@psychotik> er
<@psychotik> yesterday
|
#60365 | 307 | * Joins: Unix (Unix@ppp1146.nsw.padsl.internode.on.net)
-> [Unix] VERSION
[Unix VERSION reply]: mIRC v6.03 Khaled Mardam-Bey
<BenZor> rofl @ Unix.
<Unix> ?
|
#60353 | -21 | <Exor[B-A]> gay
<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> yes exor you are good to see you came to
terms
<Exor[B-A]> fk me
<Exor[B-A]> ;\
|
#60297 | 306 | <kierabee> though the idea of 'talking dirty' with you does
numb my brain a little
<ian_> OK, I'll start so you can get the hang of it. "I
slowly remove your top and spread hummus around your armpits,
inhaling the intertwining BO and chick-pea aroma"
<kierabee> that's great
|
#60398 | 215 | <|ReN|> reality is the 30 frames per second your little mind
can comprehend.
|
#60361 | 1340 | <[zc]snuggles> my sister is 13
<[zc]snuggles> I found porn on her compueter =/
<[asm]ryan> man porn?
<[zc]snuggles> NO AND TAHTS THE THING
<[zc]snuggles> LESBO PORN
<[asm]ryan> HAHAHAH
<[zc]snuggles> hell I copied it to my computer before deleting
it
|
#50891 | 13655 | <Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said
there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red
like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness
with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue
back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^
|
#827480 | 1862 | <anon> Right now i'm watching this porno
<anon> Asian dude gets on bus full of white highschool girls
and gets raped
<anon> I've been on a school bus before and this didn't
happen. I'm beginning to think that porn isn't based on true
stories.
|
#60290 | 1356 | <Imaginos> damn
<Imaginos> my neices cat ran away
<Imaginos> i said it went to kitty land, so she wants to know
where kitty land is
<Imaginos> i bring up my browser
<Imaginos> type in www.kittyland.com
<Imaginos> and then closed it as fast as humanly possible
|
#60271 | 426 | <@Pimp-Jojo> mc... i saw a guy in a wheelchair begging for
money and playing a flute
<@Pimp-Jojo> couple of hours later i saw him gettng chased by
the police on foot
<@Pimp-Jojo> i mean wtf
<+_Mc_> still doesnt beat my tramp with the cardboard cutout
banjo
|
#60280 | 168 | <joshwil> CREED frontman Scott Stapp was reportedly "high out
of his mind and could not sing" at the band's Chicago show at
Allstate arena Sunday night (Dec. 29), nearly falling down
numerous times during the performance.
<Deathlove> Jac, God told him to get wrecked.
<CactusJac> He drank too deeply from the blood of Christ I
guess.
|
#60174 | 20 | <Torey>Lets have a party for people over 500 lbs, and then
laugh at all of the fat asses that show up
<Icedpyre> I don t think that the supports in my house would
hold that, we could do it outside though
<Icedpyre> and pretend that we are running a pig farm
<Icedpyre>oh man .you and I are going to hell
<Torey> no dude, I read the bible there is nothing in there
that states THOU SHALL NOT MAKE FUN OF FAT PEOPLE WHO SHIT ON
THEMSELVES
<Icedpyre> phew, I guess your right
|
#60182 | 261 | <Caveman> fuck...father in law had company this past
weekend...including his friends like 17 or 18 year old
daughter
<Caveman> and da bitch didnt even use the bathroom with the
hidden cam
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#60249 | 525 | <ke1th> i go into the bank..
<ke1th> and the teller says
<ke1th> please sign here
<ke1th> so, i get the pen
<ke1th> and sign
<ke1th> ke1th kennedy
<ke1th> and hand it back to her
<ke1th> as she looks as me strangely.
<ke1th> and i'm wondering wtf did i do now.
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#60268 | -20 | <CactusJac> STEVEL = WELL I FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED BUT I KNOW IT
FUCKING PISSED ME OFF AND THERE WAS SOME GREASEBALL IN THE
BACK ROOM WHO LOOKED LIKE THIS JOKER, SO I GUESS MY ADVICE IS
TO WATCH YOUR STEP IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, BECAUSE
ALL BETS ARE OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR GODDAMN HOUSE IN THE
MORNING, AND YOU FORGET TO BRING YOUR WALLET OR WEAR PANTS,
AND THE FUCKING COPS PULL YOU OVER BECAUSE YOUR EYES AREN'T SO
GREAT ANYMORE
|
#60200 | 75 | <cjj> DUDE! remember that uber fine hunnie 5'4 110 pounds
hazel eyes c cup i told you about?
<Bi0hazard> the chick who got naked?
<cjj> no no :) that is kayli! im talking about "vanessa" well
she turned out to be uber nasty! 5'4 210 pounds !!! im done
meeting girls off the internet!
<cjj> i had to like run to the milkshake shop and lead a trail
of shakes away from my house
<cjj> than i made a quick gettaway in the car and left her ass
like 5 miles from her home
<cjj> grrr brb kayli just called :P maybe i wont retire from
this net pimping just yet
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#60165 | 421 | <Poo> Imagine my surprise when Jim said the Hamtaro girl was
hot and I was weirded out cause she was a 5th grade girl
<Poo> Then I found out he was talking about the hamster
|
#60158 | 16 | <[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> <Harm> anyone have an example ipfilter
config they're willing to share?
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> #linux
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> lo
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> l
<Hat> <[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> how do I save a linux file again
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> lol fuck you
|
#827929 | 1777 | Seppukakke: You know, in the Old Testament, God was full of
Wroth and Vengeance. You did bad stuff, he rained brimstone
down on your ungrateful ass or harrassed your people with 7
plagues.
Seppukakke: In the New Testament, its like he has turned over
a new leaf, you don't hear some much of the nasty things he
did to his people (because if you believe in it, everyone on
earth is his creation)
Seppukakke: You know what happened around the time between the
New Testament and the Old Testament?
Seppukakke: He got laid.
|
#60181 | 291 | <Suave|Away> Oh, and don't DnD tonight.
<cow> dnd
<cow> ?
<cow> oh
<cow> yer
<cow> no way
<cow> !
<funnel|getreddy> dnd?
<Suave|Away> Either Dungeons and Dragons, or Drink n Drive
<Suave|Away> Either way, you're a bloody idiot
|
#60155 | 147 | <Spazz> I saw the sign
<Spazz> and it openned up my eyes
<Spazz> I saw the sign
<[IX]Korup> i saw your mom, and it openned up my eyes, i saw
your mom. talk about scary. big fat and hairy.
<[IX]Korup> i remember saying that to my brother back in the
day
|
#60151 | 147 | <DooD> why is it that it's always the biggest, ugliest,
burliest men that get gender reassignment surgery?
<DooD> i could see getting surgery if you're like, 5 foot 3
and look kinda like a girl...
<DooD> but all these 6'4" 250 pound men with stubble and a
voice deeper than james earl jones going "i feel like a woman
trapped in a man's body" ...
<suzu> if you're already feminine cute looking
<suzu> you wouldn't need the surgery
<DooD> suzu: sure you would
<DooD> get rid of the optional material
<suzu> no way
<suzu> cuz the pretty feminine ones
<suzu> would think "i'm so fucking sexy"
<DooD> would think "im so fucking sexy it's ok to have a
penis" ?
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#60140 | 503 | <DeeCee> they made white chocolate so little black kids could
get messy too
|