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bookcorpus_compact_1024_test

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text stringlengths 3.57k 5.54k	concept_with_offset stringlengths 3.48k 11.1k
sandinistas , maybe ; we 're only a few klicks from the nicaraguan border . they could be any guerrilla faction . that damned pablo sold us out . '' jane did n't waste time worrying about pablo 's duplicity ; she was too tired to really care . getting information out of this man was like pulling teeth . `` southwhere ? '' `` limon , eventually . right now , we 're going due east . '' jane knew enough about costa rica to know what lay due east , and she did n't like what she 'd just been told . due east lay the caribbean coast , where the rain forest became swamp land . if they were only a few kilometers from the nicaraguan border , then limon was roughly a hundred miles away . in her weariness , she felt it might as well have been five hundred miles . how long would it take them to walk a hundred miles ? four or five days ? she did n't know if she could stand four or five days with mr. sunshine . she 'd known him less than twelve hours , and she was already close to death . `` why ca n't we just go south and forget about east ? '' he jerked his head in the direction from which they 'd come . `` because of them . they were n't turego 's men , but turego will soon know that you came in this direction , and he 'll be after us . he ca n't afford to have the government find out about his little clandestine operations . so ... we go where he ca n't easily follow . '' she did n't like it , but it made sense . she 'd never been in the caribbean coastal region of costa rica , so she did n't know what to expect , but it had to be better than being turego 's prisoner . poisonous snakes , alligators , quicksand , whatever ... it was better than turego . she 'd worry about the swamp when they were actually in it . with that settled in her mind , she returned to her most pressing problem . `` when do we get to rest ? and eat ? and , frankly , attila , you may have a bladder the size of new jersey , but i 've got to go ! '' again she caught that unwilling twitch of his lips , as if he 'd almost grinned . `` we ca n't stop yet , but you can eat white we walk . as for the other , go behind that tree there . '' he pointed , and she turned to see another of those huge , funny trees with the enormous buttressed roots . in the absence of indoor plumbing it would have to do . she plunged for its shelter . when they started out again he gave her something hard and dark to chew on ; it tasted faintly like meat , but after examining it suspiciously she decided not to question him too closely about it . it eased the empty pains in her stomach , and after washing a few bites down with cautious sips of water , she began to feel better and the rubbery feeling left her legs . he chewed a stick of it , too , which reassured her in regard to his humanity . still , after walking steadily for a few hours , jane began to lose the strength that had come with her second wind . her legs were moving clumsily , and she felt as if she were wading in knee-deep water . the temperature had risen steadily ; it was well over ninety now , even in the thick shelter of the canopy . the humidity was draining her as she continued to sweat , losing water that she was n't replacing . just when she was about to tell him that she could n't take another step , he turned and surveyed her with an impersonal professionalism . `` stay here while i find some sort of shelter for us . it 's going to start raining in a little while , so we might as well sit it out . you look pretty well beat , anyway . '' jane pulled her cap off and wiped her streaming face with her forearm , too tired to comment as he melted from sight . how did he know it was going to start raining ? it rained almost every day , of course , so it did n't take a fortune-teller to predict rain , but she had n't heard the thunder that usually preceded it . he was back in only a short while , taking her arm and leading her to a small rise , where a scattering of boulders testified to costa rica 's volcanic origin . after taking his knife from his belt , he cut small limbs and lashed them together with vines , then propped one end of his contraption up by wedging sturdier limbs under the corners . producing a rolled up tarp from his backpack like a magician , he tied the tarp over the crude lean-to , making it waterproof . `` well , crawl in and get comfortable , '' he growled when jane simply stood there , staring in astonishment at the shelter he 'd constructed in just a few minutes .	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["man", 1157], ["mans", 1157], ["manned", 1157], ["men", 1157], ["soon", 1180], ["come", 1199], ["came", 1199], ["afford", 1261], ["government", 1284], ["find", 1289], ["little", 1310], ["clandestine", 1322], ["operation", 1333], ["operations", 1333], ["easily", 1371], ["follow", 1378], ["sense", 1423], ["never", 1438], ["coastal", 1468], ["region", 1475], ["expect", 1526], ["well", 1552], ["wells", 1552], ["prisoner", 1582], ["poisonous", 1594], ["snake", 1601], ["snakes", 1601], ["alligator", 1614], ["alligatoring", 1614], ["alligators", 1614], ["quicksand", 1626], ["whatever", 1637], ["worry", 1682], ["worried", 1682], ["settle", 1748], ["settled", 1748], ["mind", 1760], ["minding", 1760], ["return", 1775], ["returnest", 1775], ["returned", 1775], ["problem", 1804], ["get", 1824], ["rest", 1832], ["eat", 1842], ["frankly", 1858], ["attila", 1867], ["may", 1877], ["mays", 1877], ["mayest", 1877], ["bladder", 1892], ["size", 1901], ["new", 1908], ["jersey", 1915], ["get", 1931], ["got", 1931], ["catch", 1959], ["catches", 1959], ["catched", 1959], ["caught", 1959], ["unwilling", 1974], ["twitch", 1981], ["twitching", 1981], ["twitchest", 1981], ["lip", 1993], ["lipped", 1993], ["lips", 1993], ["almost", 2014], ["stop", 2042], ["yet", 2046], ["white", 2070], ["behind", 2109], ["tree", 2119], ["treed", 2119], ["treeing", 2119], ["point", 2141], ["pointed", 2141], ["turn", 2158], ["turned", 2158], ["see", 2165], ["another", 2173], ["huge", 2187], ["funny", 2195], ["tree", 2201], ["treed", 2201], ["treeing", 2201], ["trees", 2201], ["enormous", 2219], ["buttress", 2230], ["buttressed", 2230], ["root", 2236], ["roots", 2236], ["absence", 2253], ["indoor", 2263], ["plumbing", 2272], ["plunge", 2306], ["plunged", 2306], ["shelter", 2322], ["start", 2342], ["started", 2342], ["give", 2360], ["gave", 2360], ["hard", 2379], ["dark", 2388], ["chew", 2396], ["chews", 2396], ["chewest", 2396], ["taste", 2411], ["tasted", 2411], ["faintly", 2419], ["meat", 2429], ["examine", 2451], ["examining", 2451], ["suspiciously", 2467], ["decide", 2479], ["decided", 2479], ["question", 2495], ["closely", 2511], ["ease", 2531], ["eased", 2531], ["empty", 2541], ["pain", 2547], ["pains", 2547], ["stomach", 2562], ["stomachs", 2562], ["stomaching", 2562], ["wash", 2582], ["bite", 2594], ["bites", 2594], ["cautious", 2613], ["sip", 2618], ["sips", 2618], ["water", 2627], ["begin", 2639], ["began", 2639], ["feel", 2647], ["rubbery", 2670], ["feeling", 2678], ["left", 2683], ["leave", 2683], ["leg", 2692], ["legs", 2692], ["chew", 2704], ["chews", 2704], ["chewest", 2704], ["chewed", 2704], ["stick", 2712], ["stickest", 2712], ["reassure", 2742], ["reassured", 2742], ["regard", 2756], ["humanity", 2772], ["still", 2780], ["walk", 2796], ["walking", 2796], ["steadily", 2805], ["lose", 2842], ["strength", 2855], ["second", 2885], ["seconded", 2885], ["wind", 2890], ["move", 2913], ["moving", 2913], ["clumsily", 2922], ["wade", 2959], ["wading", 2959], ["knee", 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["wedging", 4140], ["sturdy", 4149], ["corner", 4173], ["corners", 4173], ["produce", 4185], ["producing", 4185], ["roll", 4194], ["rolled", 4194], ["tarp", 4202], ["tarps", 4202], ["backpack", 4220], ["backpacking", 4220], ["magician", 4236], ["magicians", 4236], ["tie", 4246], ["tying", 4246], ["tieing", 4246], ["tied", 4246], ["crude", 4270], ["lean", 4275], ["leans", 4275], ["waterproof", 4301], ["waterproofed", 4301], ["crawl", 4319], ["crawled", 4319], ["comfortable", 4342], ["growl", 4358], ["growls", 4358], ["growled", 4358], ["simply", 4375], ["stood", 4381], ["stand", 4381], ["standest", 4381], ["stare", 4397], ["stared", 4397], ["staring", 4397], ["astonishment", 4413], ["construct", 4446], ["constructest", 4446], ["constructed", 4446], ["minute", 4468], ["minutes", 4468]]
if you want to leave , do n't let the door hit your ass on the way out . without waiting for a reply , decker turned and carried her through the foyer and down the hall . shock still pinged through her . why did he give a rip about owen wanting to talk to her ? even with the uncertainty , she could n't hold in a smile . he wandered back to the bedroom and set her on her feet . rachel 's head raced as she shut the door and whirled on him . `` i do n't know whether to thank you from the bottom of my heart or ask you if you 're psycho . do you have any idea how long i 've wanted to set owen on his butt ? '' `` i 'm sure a while . it 's obviously long overdue , since the prick seems to think that you should ask , 'how high ? ' whenever he tells you to jump . '' `` you did that for years , did n't you ? '' `` probably longer than i should have . '' `` then he deserved what he got . you 're no longer his , and you do n't have to do a damn thing he says . '' `` but i 'm not yours , either . '' and that was the confusing part . she did n't really expect him to care about her problems with owen , but he 'd made sure that her demanding ex did n't walk all over her . `` you did n't have to stick your neck out there . '' i was n't about to let him treat you that way . '' those words made her liquefy into a puddle of goo . it made her want to fling aside her robe and plaster her nak*d body to his . asserting myself with him is something i 've struggled with for years . i just do n't like confrontation . '' and every time she 'd tried , owen had done his best to make her feel petty and regret it . `` then i 'll take care of it for you . '' his words took her aback . `` i-i do n't expect you to stay and listen to whatever owen is droning on about . it will be long and dull and probably sanctimonious . if you want to take a rain check on the pancakes , i 'll let you off easy . '' decker clenched his jaw . `` i 'm not in a hurry to leave , rachel . and i 'm not thrilled with the idea of leaving you alone with a man who does n't know how to draw the line between you two , much less be polite . i 'll blend into the background if you want , but i 'd like to stay . one of the truths about being a protector for a living is that your instincts are well honed . i do n't like him being here . why is n't he in florida ? '' what did decker think owen would do to her ? he was annoying , but harmless . `` let 's put some clothes on and find out . '' he gave her a hot , lingering stare . `` or take them off and deal with him a lot later . '' rachel sent him a playful swat . he was good for her ego , but she should n't keep owen waiting . not only was it rude , but he 'd make her pay for it eventually , when decker had gone for good . within minutes , rachel found undergarments , jeans , and a red , scoop-neck t-shirt in her closet at the back of her bathroom and dressed . she ran a brush through her hair and applied a little lip gloss . she was n't getting prettier than this without makeup , and that would take too long . emerging back into her bedroom , she saw decker fully dressed in last night 's clothes . his five o'clock shadow had grown thicker , darker , making him look more disreputable . that should n't turn her on . she 'd never been attracted to the bad boy . rachel could n't deny that she 'd made an exception for him . she smiled at him and found herself blushing as she remembered everything they 'd done last night . as if he could read her mind , decker grinned back . `` and get this over with so we can come back to bed . '' hand in hand , they made their way down the hall , decker leading her through the narrow corridor . she had no idea why he had n't bailed when she 'd given him the opportunity , much less why he 'd stayed and seemed determined to stake his claim in front of owen . it was kind of unnerving ... but it was mostly nice . he 'd defended her and was now standing by her side during what she feared was n't going to be a fun conversation . not at all what she 'd imagined when she 'd invited decker over last night , but she had to admit that she was pleasantly surprised .	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this is all we can spare , im afraid , so if you have to use them , make every shot count . hunter accepted the weapons with some trepidation . i ... uh ... hey . ham said you could shoot . but ive never shot at people before . chapter twenty-five hector and hamilton were positioned at two front windows watching as a black helicopter appeared over the treetops and began circling overhead . its armed , hector said as they watched it continue to circle . suddenly a large private jet swooped in , barely missing treetops on their approach . but theyll be lucky they dont careen into the trees at the other end of the runway . hector ran to a back window to take a look . landing wont be the problem as much as taking off , hamilton called back to him . like you say , the trees are close to both ends of the runway . if they take off . depends on how this plays out . the sleek white private jet managed to set down on the lengthy earthen runway with only feet to spare then carefully turned around and taxied back before parking near hamiltons helicopter . moments later , two figures emerged . really not good , hector muttered , watching the plane slowly work its way back along the runway . he watched for the circling helicopter but it either landed out of view or took off . he rejoined hamilton curiously watching the activity outside . and i wonder where john is . he watched the two men approach the cabin . theyre practically asking us to shoot at them . yeah , hamilton said thoughtfully . whered that chopper go ? havent seen it since the jet landed . check in back again in case we have more visitors . hector hurried to the back window , scanning the trees for any sign of movement while hamilton kept watching from the front . its davenport , he called back to hector , but i cant tell who the other guy is yet . he 's keeping his head down . daniel davenport was dressed in casual slacks and a buttoned shirt . he wore sunglasses and walked with a swagger , obviously confident and pleased with the situation . his companion , though , was husky looking , dressed in dark clothing , including a black baseball cap , and dark sunglasses . hamilton studied them . over-confident , as usual . you see anything back there ? he called out to hector . but they may have more men on the plane , he said . hamilton merely nodded without a reply . a waiting game began . eventually , davenport yelled toward the cabin . you might as well come out before anyone gets hurt ! hamilton stayed quiet and watched . he continued to watch then got an uneasy feeling . somethings wrong , he said . and , if i didnt know better that other guy reminds me of ... dirk . but you killed him , hector said , now back at the front . i didnt confirm the kill . a moment later , john emerged from the cellar . i heard the chopper and saw the jet . he asked , joining them , then took a good look . is that dirk ? i thought ... yeah . so did i , hamilton said . he kept watching but asked , did our friends make it out okay ? i didnt see them , john said . you didnt pass them on the fire road ? hamilton kept watching . okay , you both take the tunnel and get out . ill stay here and keep them distracted . see if you can find the others . hector hesitated with a frown . just do it , hamilton said . but hector reluctantly said , okay . he motioned for john and they disappeared into the cellar . daniel called out to hamilton again . theres something i want you to see ! another man , also wearing black , appeared dragging a woman with him . hamilton stiffened . janet , he whispered . youve got two minutes to come out here or she dies ! janet bit her captors hand and screamed , dont do it ! she wriggled loose and began to run . a shot rang out and he feared the worst . ive got five more waiting in line , ham ! five more of your precious friends ! its up to you or their deaths will be on your head ! hamilton said nothing . are you some kind of fool , ham ! youre heartless ! well kill them all and then well come get you and kill you too ! daniels voice raised in pitch and he double-checked his automatic weapon . hes nervous , hamilton said to himself then smiled and looked up at the loft . you got thirty seconds ! hamilton reached for a wire above the front door jamb and attached it to an eye-bolt on the door itself . next he grabbed the last clip of rounds and shoved it in a pocket before scurrying up the ladder to the loft . at the far end , he carefully slid a bolt , silently raised a trap door to the roof , and climbed out .	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the pause seems to go on forever before she answers . it 's a `` yes '' mingled with sobs . it 's too late ... i sit on the edge of her mattress not knowing what to do . nights ... they 're the hardest . '' i 'm not going to rat you out or anything . '' i chance a look at her face and the fear is evident . i refuse to focus on her in her thread bare tank and panties . `` you 're not renting this place , are you ? '' i surmise aloud . i think i 've known this for some time but just did n't want to admit it . admitting it makes it real . making it real means i 'm stuck ; i ca n't walk away now , realizing what i know . please do n't tell anyone ! '' she 's frantic , on the edge of mania . i scoot closer in hopes of easing her . not too long after i moved into my first group home , the baseball my father gave me when i was seven , got stolen . it was one of the few personal items i owned . a staff from the group home tried to comfort me when i discovered it was missing by hugging me and patting my hair . i attempt to mimic the same gestures for emily , because it 's the only comfort i know . she clings to me like a lost swimmer gripping a buoy in an endless sea . finally , she quiets and the knot in my stomach comes back . i know i have to find out what 's really going on . i need to press her for more information since it seems i 'm intent on helping her . we sit in silence for quite some time , and i can tell she 's nervous about telling me what 's going on . i do n't want to force her . as i wait , i realize it 's the first quiet night i 've had since she moved in . i really do n't want to make assumptions because things are n't always what they appear . however , as i sit playing protector to this girl , scenarios run rampant through my mind . she has very few clothes . irregular bathing does not bother her . she is careful , but trusting - not at all shy . she 's young and alone ; she has no furniture and no utilities . all evidence points to her being parentless and homeless . _ do n't get involved . _ no matter how many times i recite the mantra in my head , it 's useless . this life is n't suited to girls who are alone , no matter how equipped they are to deal with the shit life flings at them . women are taken advantage of in the blink of an eye when the opportunity is given . i make a mental note to be sure emily does n't suffer the same fate , particularly by my hand . i 'm sitting on emily 's mattress , my head against our shared wall . she 's leaning into my side , quiet , in what i hope is peaceful sleep . after thinking this situation over for a while i shake my head , realizing i 've already talked myself into this , into helping emily ; i find it nearly impossible not to now . eventually , i drift off with determination and the realization i 've opened a big-assed can of worms ... for both of us . hours later , my inner alarm clock wakes me . there is a little drool on my shoulder and it 's kind of gross . i lay homeless girl down on her bare mattress and make note to bring over an extra set of sheets . who knows where she even got the mattress ? i 'm sure it 's infested with who-knows-what . i may be poor , but i like clean . there are some things that should n't be bought in used condition . shoes , underwear , and mattresses quickly spring to mind . during my run , i think about the upheaval i 'm getting myself into , and the reality of the situation is weighing heavily upon me . as a kid , i was lucky enough to be moved to a safe place where all my basic needs were met . i never had to fend for myself in the physical sense ; emotionally , though ? i run an extra two miles trying to process everything . i decide this is my chance to pay it forward . i ignore my mantra as it only serves to confuse me further at this point . the fact remains i 've already gotten involved , and i try to rationalize how much trouble one small girl can really be . part of me feels like it 's none of my business what her personal situations is , but if i 'm going to help her , then i want some basic information . she does n't have to tell me her life story , but i need to know her circumstances . after i get home from work and knock on the bedroom wall , i chuckle to myself thinking it may as well be a shower curtain for all the privacy the thin , flimsy wall provides .	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the woman stumbled , and who could blame her ? brant matthews , womanizer extraordinaire , had struck again . maybe she could suggest he have that printed on his business cards . all at once she realized phillip had spoken . `` sorry , phillip . `` i said she 's my new physiotherapist . '' ah , so this was serena . they 'd spoken on the telephone . but why had brant chosen her as his date ? `` phillip , you did n't , '' she said for his ears only . `` fix them up together . '' i thought it would do serena good to be asked out by someone like brant . he did n't mind . '' oh , that poor girl . why were men so insensitive at times ? `` that 's exactly why he 's wrong for her . '' his brows drew closer together . `` she 'll know people will be wondering what brant sees in her and that 'll make her feel even worse . '' `` i was only trying to help , '' he said a touch defensively . kia 's heart softened . it 's just that ... '' how to explain the mind of a shy , insecure woman ? it was n't easy delving into her own past and reliving her inadequacies . `` merry christmas , kia . '' without warning , brant was beside her , his lips brushing against her cheek in a gesture that meant nothing yet everything . kia 's pulse almost fell over itself as his warm hand touched her bare shoulder and she caught a whiff of his masculine scent . then he moved away and held the chair out for his date . `` serena , this is kia , phillip 's personal assistant . '' `` we 've spoken on the telephone , '' kia said with a smile as the woman sat down opposite her . the other woman gave a wavering smile in return , and empathy stirred within kia , helping her recover from the shock of brant 's greeting . `` serena 's a lovely name , '' kia said , wanting to put her at ease . serena smiled tentatively . `` it suits you , '' brant said before kia could respond . serena blushed , looking quite pretty . he sat down and handed her a glass of champagne . `` not too many women are as restful as you to be around , serena . '' kia saw his eyes flick toward her . was he saying she was n't restful to be around ? it wasn 't her fault he wanted her but could n't . `` some men are n't restful to be around either , '' kia pointed out , not willing to let him get the upper hand . he eased back in his chair , confident but with a dark look in his deep blue eyes that sent shivers down her spine . `` are you saying that some men disturb you , kia ? '' was he asking if he disturbed her ? `` people only disturb you if you let them . i do n't ever intend to let any man disturb me . '' his eyes slid across to phillip at her side , then back to her again . they hardened , reminding her that from the day he 'd met up with her outside the hospital room after he 'd returned from his trip , this man had grown more and more hostile toward her . he hid it well , but she knew it was there . she could only assume that because phillip had been going home after a date with her , brant blamed her for the accident . and that was totally unfair , but she was n't about to challenge him over it or he might start delving into her and phillip 's relationship and discover the truth . how it had all started when phillip had begged her to be his partner at a business dinner with people who knew his ex , lynette . things had snowballed after that and now they were out of control . glancing at brant , she saw a muscle pulsating in his lean cheek . then , as if he 'd had enough of her , he turned away to talk to one of the others . she felt a spurt of anger at his dismissal . was this the way he treated women when he had enough of them ? did he use them to amuse himself , then get rid of them once they 'd passed their use-by dates ? so why did she feel surprised ? did she think she was any different just because she shared in this intense physical attraction ? schooling her features , kia sipped at her champagne and watched the couples dancing out on the floor . she could hear phillip talking about going home to queensland to be with his family for christmas . it reminded her of her own plans to fly south to adelaide to spend christmas with her mother and stepfather . she was looking forward to having some downtime with her family . she badly needed time away from the office-and the men who ran it .	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`` take off your dress , lass , '' he said , as he tossed aside his tunic . completely bewildered , mairin sagged onto the edge of the bed . he wanted her to undress ? he was busy pulling his boots off , but it was her duty to undress him . he did n't have the right of it at all . thinking to instruct him on his error , she rose and hurried over to stay his progress . for a moment , he halted and stared at her as if she were daft. `` 't is my duty to undress you , laird . 't is the wife 's duty , '' she corrected . i should undress you in our chambers . '' ewan 's gaze softened and he reached out to cup her cheek . duncan cameron 's army approaches . i do n't have the time to woo you with sweet words and a soft touch . '' his forehead creased and he grimaced . `` it will have to be a quick bedding . '' before she could question him further , he began tugging at the laces on her dress . when he did n't immediately have the bodice undone , he pulled impatiently . `` laird , what are you doing ? '' she gasped in surprise when the material ripped and fell over her shoulders . she tried to lift the dress back up , but ewan pushed downward , leaving her in only her undergarments . `` laird , '' she began , but ewan hushed her by taking her shoulders and pressing his lips to hers . as he maneuvered her to the bed , he managed to divest her of the rest of her clothing . his trews hit the floor , and she felt something hot and hard brush against her belly . when she looked down and saw what it was , her mouth gaped open and she stared in horror at the jutting appendage . he captured her chin and directed her gaze upward again . as his mouth covered hers , he lowered her to the bed until she lay on her back and he hovered just above her , his arm pushed into the bedding to prevent his full weight from bearing down on her . `` spread your legs , mairin , '' he rasped against her lips . confounded by the entire experience , she relaxed her thighs and then squeaked in dismay when ewan 's hand slipped between her legs and stroked his thumb through the delicate folds . his mouth slipped down the side of her neck . chill bumps raced over her shoulders and to her br**sts as his lips fastened against the flesh just below her ear . it was oddly exciting and it stirred breathless feelings of ... she was n't sure how to describe any of it . `` i 'm sorry , lass . '' his voice was heavy with regret . she frowned as she gripped his shoulders . his body moved over hers , covering her with his heat and hardness . it did n't seem appropriate to offer apology in the middle of loving . she felt him , hard as steel , as he probed between her thighs . it took a moment for her to realize what he was probing with . her eyes flew open and her fingers dug into his skin . `` ewan ! '' he thrust forward , and the hazy euphoria she 'd experienced just moments before disappeared as pain tore her in half when he ripped through her body . she cried out and pounded his shoulders with clenched fists . tears slipped down her cheeks and he swept them away with his mouth as he rained kisses over her face . `` shhh , lass , '' he crooned . `` i 'm so sorry , mairin . we must finish this . '' he moved tentatively , and she hit him again . he 'd torn her in two . `` i have n't torn you apart , '' he said gruffly . `` be still a moment . the pain will go away . '' he withdrew , and she flinched as her body tugged tightly at him . then he pushed forward again , and she whimpered at the fullness . a shout in the hallway made her go rigid . ewan cursed and then began moving again . she lay there in shock , unable to process or put a name to the uncomfortable sensation that welled within . once , twice , and once again he pushed into her , and then he tensed against her and held himself so still that she could hear the violent thud of his heartbeat . just as suddenly , he rolled away , and she felt sticky wetness between her legs . not having any idea what it was she was supposed to do next , she lay there trembling as her husband hurried to dress . after he pulled on his boots , he returned to the bed and slipped his arms underneath her . maybe now he would offer the tender words a husband was supposed to say after loving . but he simply picked her up and cradled her in his arms for a moment . then he carried her to the bench in front of the fire and set her down .	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`` he wanted to make sure i knew that it was n't about that . '' `` after a few weeks of dating for real , '' i said . `` he told me that he knew it was crazy ... but the craziest part was , i felt exactly the same way . i was ready to take a leap of faith . '' `` what made you decide to have a short engagement ? '' `` well , neither one of us is particularly romantic . i did n't want a big fuss and he did n't either . so we figured there was no reason to let things drag out forever . '' `` how did your parents feel about the relationship ? '' `` my parents and i are n't ... close . i invited them to the wedding , but they would n't travel . daniel 's parents have passed away . '' `` well , that takes care of my last question . '' the interviewer looked up , smiling a little bit . finally showing his human side . i just kept breathing . more questions came after that . about the wedding , the number of people in attendance , about who took care of the finances and what t.v . shows we watched together every week . he asked to see my keys , examining the one i said was for daniel 's apartment . i wondered if he was trying to match them up from memory . he wanted to know if i 'd met any members of daniel 's family , so i told him about lindsey and ray . i answered a long string of mundane questions about our home life - the number of bedrooms and bathrooms , when the garbage pickup came , and the color of the carpet . finally , he released me . i walked back out into the waiting room slowly . daniel jumped up out of his chair when he spotted me . i hurried over to him ; he pulled me close and kissed me swiftly . `` we survived , '' i said . i had to bite my tongue until we got back home , although i was dying to compare whatever answers we could remember . john was driving , and he did n't know the truth . as soon as the door closed behind us , i turned to him and blurted out : `` did they ask you if you came onto me at our first meeting ? '' `` i said that i was flirting with you , but being subtle about it . `` i said that i thought maybe you were , but i was n't sure . '' he pressed a quick kiss to my forehead . `` i 'm sure everything will match perfectly . there 's really nothing to worry about . '' `` when will we find out ? '' `` i should get a letter in a few months , '' he said . `` if we do n't hear anything between now and then , we 're to assume everything 's going smoothly . which i 'm sure it will . '' `` i 'm glad you 're so confident . '' he laid his hands on my shoulders . i know this is n't the easiest thing in the world , with all the waiting , but everything will be just fine . '' i smiled , and then looked away for a moment . i wanted , very badly , to say something about the honeymoon . about the fact that we had n't really touched each other since . about the fact that i wanted , more than anything , for him to grab me and take me like i knew he really wanted to . i knew he did , even if he was n't showing it . `` we had a good time on the honeymoon , '' i said , finally . `` yes , '' he said , a little hesitantly . `` and i 'm not talking about the moon walk . '' `` maybe we should n't - '' `` what - talk about it ? '' i touched the side of his face . `` do it ? `` maddy , '' he said , a little hoarsely . so i was getting to him , at least . `` we 're going to feel what we feel , '' i said . `` whether we act on it or not . '' `` all the same , '' he said . `` all the same ? what kind of counter-argument is that ? '' `` stop acting like a character in some victorian loss-of-virtue novel . '' he laughed , and then leaned down to kiss me . `` you 're very persuasive , you know that ? '' he said when he broke away . `` that 's very naughty . you know i ca n't resist . '' `` why would i ever want you to ? '' i wound my arms around his neck , smiling . `` i do n't know if you realize what you 've unleashed . '' he had such a wicked grin on his face . `` go upstairs and wait for me . '' `` but you better make it worth my while . '' i turned and skipped up the stairs , two at a time . `` oh , i will , '' he shouted after me . i stood in the middle of the bedroom for a moment , trying to decide how to present myself . the obvious thing would be to undress completely - or at least partway .	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`` your role on this mission has become more complicated . i have something you need to see . '' thorpe reached for the envelope on his desk . he toyed with it between his long fingers , as if considering , then held it out to logan . `` a man wearing shades and a dark hoodie paid misty to give this to you just after tara 's public submission . when she could n't find you because you were ... busy , she found xander , who found me . she said this dude gave her the creeps . by the time i got it , too many people had touched it to bother dusting it for prints , so you can touch it . none of the security cameras got a good look at the guy 's face . we already checked . do you know what the hell this is about ? '' with a frown , logan took the envelope and ripped it open . clearly , thorpe had already been into it himself . for the moment , logan shoved down his irritation and withdrew the piece of paper inside . have you forgotten my warning ? stay away from tara . horror froze logan 's entire body . his mother 's killer was still keeping tabs on him a dozen years later ? he sucked in a breath , then turned to look at his cherry , who watched him expectantly . this was a complication they fking did n't need . thorpe 's and bocelli 's silent gazes settled on him . they were leaving the next move to him , allowing him to bow out if he wanted . no way was he making the same mistake he 'd made a dozen years ago . at sixteen , he could n't begin to protect tara . at twentyeight ? this time , he 'd handle everything differently . whoever this motherfucker was , logan could n't wait to take him apart . he handed the note to tara . quickly , her eyes scanned the page , then she gasped . `` your mother 's killer is back ? '' logan nodded , feeling his back teeth grind . `` this reads like his work , yeah . '' `` what do you mean , 'back ' ? you 've received notes like this one before ? '' bocelli asked . logan grabbed tara 's hand because he needed to feel her , then met her boss 's gaze and told him about his mother 's murder and the subsequent fallout . `` it 's a complication , but not a problem . `` we may have to rethink this , edgington . this is someone determined , who 's followed you for years and watched your scene with tara tonight . he may follow you to florida . '' `` from everything you 've told me , fantasy key is n't easy to get into , '' logan argued . no way was his involvement in this mission going to unravel now . he could n't send tara in without an experienced dom to protect her-and he refused to let this ahole come between him and the woman he loved a second time . `` it 's not , '' bocelli conceded . `` we had to pull a lot of strings to bypass the six month waiting list . '' `` we may have another alternative . '' thorpe rose and crossed the room , opening the door , only to stop short . i could n't make myself stop . '' thorpe was going to suggest that his best friend replace him ? thorpe led him in , and xander leaned against the wall , brow raised . `` you assisted edgington during the scene , '' bocelli said . the fed extended a hand and introduced himself . after the pleasantries , bocelli briefed xander on the base facts of their mission to fantasy key . xander listened without expression or comment . `` i could definitely help . i worked there off and on for three years . '' logan stared at his pal . he did n't talk much about his past . he 'd grown up in l.a. and left home young-and refused to say why . logan knew a few things about xander 's past , like the fact that he 'd worked at a bdsm resort , but details had been nonexistent . `` the private resort you topped at ... that was fantasy key ? '' xander turned to bocelli . `` i still have friends there . if there 's something bad going down , i 'd like to help . '' thorpe turned to bocelli . `` that 's a plus . and your agent needs a strong , experienced dom she can trust to lead her through the resort 's activities and hopefully attract the notice of the scumbags behind the illegal activity . xander can do that . and he does n't bring an extra threat to the table , like edgington . '' logan 's first response was towering rage . after angling for nearly two days solid to accompany tara on this mission , no way was he backing down in favor of his buddy .	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if we were at my place , i could light a fire for us and and my brother would be there too . that would be the epitome of awkward if he were to catch us like this . i laughed , leaning back into the warmth of his arms . yeah , well , theres that . maybe he could go hang out at your parents house for a couple days . he leaned his chin against the top of my head . im not ashamed of us . nolan knowing we were in a relationship set me on edge , but ethan was right . if my family or nolan didnt understand , then that was on them . i didnt think that would be the case , but i couldnt be sure . i leaned back in his arms , but he spun me , pressing me to the wall . he bent his head and kissed me , gently swiping his tongue over my lips . ive wanted to tell you that forever now . i wrapped my arms around his neck , taking in the sculpted beauty of his bare chest . i couldnt believe he was this ripped . he was gods gift to women . youre not too shabby yourself . well , we have a few hours until weve got to get ready to see your parents . i guess ill have to give you a reminder of last night , so youll have a better description than not too shabby , huh ? alls fair in love well leave the war part out . he picked me up and spun us toward the bed in a naked tornado . merry christmas , sweetheart . a mischievous grin brightened his blue eyes , and we collapsed back into the bed . this time i was on top . authors note thank you for reading the witch who cried wolf ! i originally started on a version of this novella last year , but i wasnt quite sure how id put what was in my head on paper . eventually , i placed the book on the backburner . however , these characters kept demanding to have their story written . once i started working on it again , i couldnt stop . the story just came together . i hope youve loved this book as much as i do . if you did , please consider leaving a review at the retailers website or even goodreads . also , if youre interested learning more about my books , sign up for my newsletter at my website and connect with me on twitter and facebook . http : //www.sarahmakela.com http : //www.twitter.com/sarahmakela http : //www.facebook.com/authorsarahmakela http : //www.goodreads.com/sarahmakela about the author sarah mkel loves her fiction dark , magical , and passionate . she is a paranormal romance author , but she 's written all over the romance spectrum with cyberpunk , sci-fi , fantasy , urban fantasy ... even a sweet contemporary romance ! a life-long paranormal fan , she still sleeps with a night light . in her spare time , she reads sexy books , watches scary movies ( and ghost adventures ) , and plays computer games with her husband . when she gets the chance , she loves traveling the world too . excerpt for cold moon rising with jacob this close , it took every ounce of focus to keep my thoughts on the impending exam . more than once , i caught myself staring at his lips wondering how soft theyd be as they kissed my skin . i only hoped he didnt notice my glances that might make things highly embarrassing . think youre up for a break , kelly ? he shut his textbook and quirked his lips to one side . weve been going at it for a while now . my notecards toppled from my hands , and i jerked back , caught off-guard by his words . uh , yeah ... if wed really been going at it , i wouldve refused to take a break . want something else to drink ? maybe a coffee or coke ? the amused twinkle in his emerald green eyes melted my insides . maybe studying on my bed hadnt been the best idea . however , the dinette set would barely be enough room for one of our textbooks , let alone ... water . jacob leaned over me , brushing his palm over my exposed knee as he reached for the fallen study cards . its kind of hot in here , isnt it ? with him this close , it was like a sauna in here . i wanted to touch him , show him that all of this flirting was more than i could handle . if i didnt do something to him soon , i might explode . as if on cue , he turned to face me . our lips were barely inches apart , and i saw flecks of gold in his green eyes . i didnt have the strength to sit by and not take this chance . not if it meant this brief encounter would pass by forgotten . the moment our lips touched , a spark of lust ... desire ... chemistry burned its way inside me . one brush of lips wasnt nearly enough . my body thirsted for more kisses . jacob froze in place , and i wondered for a split second if what i felt was only me .	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karen was weeping by then , crying for her mother to dial 911 . she pleaded with her daddy not to hurt her mother . her dad did n't listen , and neither did anyone else . it was at this point that the bathroom door opened , and the stranger who had been her father walked in . maureen stood inside the bathtub , her back flattened against the wall . karen tried to stop him . she threw herself in front of him and held on to his legs , but he moved forward , dragging her with him . karen tried so hard to get him to stop , but he would n't . her mother screamed , and karen watched as her father lowered the knife , plunging it into her mother 's heart . when he drew out the blade , it was coated red with blood . her father had killed her mother . she screamed and screamed and screamed . `` karen ... karen ! '' bright lights blinded her . karen 's heart beat like a race car piston . her skin felt cold and clammy , and her forehead was damp with sweat . the soothing , gentle voice belonged to her grandmother . karen clung to her , holding on as tight as she could as the image of her mother 's bloody body faded from her memory . karen started to sob . she hated it when she cried , but she could n't make herself stop . `` sometimes i do n't think it 's a dream , '' she whispered . `` sometimes i think it all really happened . '' `` what happened , honey ? `` no , '' she said emphatically , and shook her head . did n't want to tell her grandmother about the knife and the blood and the hate . her grandma 's arms were wrapped around her , and she swayed gently back and forth . maureen stared at the television screen in the hotel room . it was like a thousand other hotel rooms she 'd stayed in for these business trips . she was restless and not the least bit tired , although she 'd been on the go since early that morning . by all rights she should be exhausted . she decided to take a long , hot shower and soothe her aching muscles . in addition , she wanted to think over the things that thom had said to her . forgive brian ? clearly the man did n't know what he was talking about . his wife had died . forgiving her for dying could n't be compared to the craziness she 'd been subjected to in the years she was married to brian . thom did n't know the half of it . she told him about the infidelities and troubles her ex-husband had holding a job . what she had n't gone into were the brushes with the law , the get-rich-quick schemes . the stealing . only what he 'd taken had n't been from strangers . he 'd robbed his own wife and daughter . maureen 's blood pressure rose just thinking about it . shaking her head , wanting to throw off the ugly thoughts , she undressed and turned on the shower . the water pressure left a lot to be desired , so she cut the shower short . dressed in her robe , a towel wrapped around her hair , she moved back into the room . the pad by the telephone had moved and was on the bed . had someone been in the room ? she checked the door and found the chain securely in place . she picked up the pad and found call karen scribbled on it . generally maureen did n't call her parents when she was out of town . they had a number where she could be reached , and if there was an emergency , they could phone her . it was late , after ten , and her parents were sure to be in bed . their sleep habits had changed now that they were older , and they retired earlier . call karen . maureen did n't know who had left the message or how it had gotten into her room , but she was n't messing with fate . she sat on the edge of the bed and reached for the telephone . `` maureen , is that you ? i ca n't believed you called . '' her mother 's voice greeted her , sounding worried and distraught . `` i was just trying to decide if i should phone you . '' maureen 's heart constricted with fear . `` it 's karen . she 's had another one of those dreams . '' `` it would help if you talked to her . '' a moment passed before her daughter got on the line . maureen could tell that karen had been sobbing ; she also knew how much the twelve-year-old hated to cry . the kid was scared out of her mind and worried about maureen . karen asked , and sniffled . `` do you hate my dad enough to kill him ? '' paul felt as free as the breeze . the letter of resignation was typed , copied , and ready to be mailed to the list of church elders . and to think he 'd managed all that without leta 's help .	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to his lordship , john grey , at mount josiah plantation , in the colony of virginia my dear friend , i can not begin to express our gratitude for your kind behavior in sending a draft drawn upon your own bank , as advance payment against the eventual sale of the objects i confided to your disposition . mr. higgins , in delivering this document , was of course most tactful-and yet , i gathered from his anxious demeanor and his efforts at discretion that you may perhaps believe us to be in dire straits . i hasten to assure you that this is not the case ; we will do well enough , so far as matters of victuals , clothes , and the necessities of life . i said that i would tell you the details of the affair , and i see that i must , if only to disabuse you of the vision of rampant starvation among my family and tenants . beyond a small legal obligation requiring cash , i have a matter of business in hand , involving the acquisition of a number of guns . i had been in hopes of acquiring these through the good offices of a friend , but find that this arrangement will no longer answer ; i must look further abroad . i and my family are invited to a barbecue in honor of miss flora macdonald , the her**ne of the rising-you are familiar with the lady , i believe ? i recall your telling me once of your meeting with her in london , whilst she was imprisoned there-to take place next month at my aunt 's plantation , river run . as this affair will be attended by a great many scots , some coming from considerable distances , i am in hopes that with cash in hand , i may make arrangements to procure the requisite weapons via other avenues . in re which , should your own connexions suggest any such useful avenues , i should be grateful to hear of them . i write quickly , as mr. higgins has other errands , but my daughter bids me send herewith a box of matchsticks , her own invention . she has schooled mr. higgins most carefully in their use , so if he does not burst inadvertently into flame on the way back , he will be able to demonstrate them to you . your humble and ob't . servant , james fraser p.s . i require thirty muskets , with as much powder and ammunition as may be possible . these need not be of the latest manufacture , but must be well-kept and functional . `` 'other avenues ? ' '' i said , watching him sand the letter before folding it . `` you mean smugglers ? and if so , are you sure that lord john will understand what you mean ? '' `` i do , and he will , '' jamie assured me . `` i ken a few smugglers myself , who bring things in through the outer banks . he 'll know the ones who come through roanoke , though-and there 's more business there , because of the blockade in massachusetts . goods come in through virginia , and go north overland . '' he took a half-burned beeswax taper from the shelf and held it to the coals in the hearth , then dripped soft brown wax in a puddle over the seam of the letter . i leaned forward and pressed the back of my left hand into the warm wax , leaving the mark of my wedding ring in it . `` damn manfred mcgillivray , '' he said , with no particular heat . `` it will be three times the cost , and i must get them from a smuggler . '' `` will you ask about him , though ? at the barbecue , i mean ? '' flora macdonald , the woman who had saved charles stuart from the english after culloden , dressing him in her maid 's clothes and smuggling him to a rendezvous with the french on the isle of skye , was a living legend to the scottish highlanders , and her recent arrival in the colony was the subject of vast excitement , news of it coming even as far as the ridge . every well-known scot in the cape fear valley-and a good many from farther away-would be present at the barbecue to be held in her honor . no better place to spread the word for a missing young man . he glanced up at me , surprised . `` of course i will , sassenach . `` i think you 're very kind , '' i said , kissing him on the forehead . `` if a trifle reckless . and i notice you carefully did n't tell lord john why you need thirty muskets . '' he gave a small snort , and swept the grains of sand carefully off the table into the palm of his hand . `` i dinna ken for sure myself , sassenach . '' `` do you not mean to give them to bird , after all ? '' he did n't answer at once , but the two stiff fingers of his right hand tapped gently on the tabletop . then he shrugged , reached to the stack of journals and ledgers , and pulled out a paper , which he handed to me . a letter from john ashe , who had been a fellow commander of militia during the war of the regulation .	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her mind was weaving through unfamiliar images , one right after another ... ... she closed her eyes and felt pain for the first time ... opened them . forced herself to concentrate . steering wheel ... the car ... she was in the car ... dark outside ... `` oh god ! '' with a rush , it all came back . the curve ... the deer ... swerving out of control . squinting through the blood in her eyes , she focused on the backseat-kyle was n't in the car . his safety seat was open , as was the back door on his side of the car . through the window she shouted for the figure who 'd awakened her ... if there had been a figure . she was n't quite sure whether he had been just a hallucination . but he was there , and he turned . denise blinked ... he was making his way toward her . later she 'd remember that she was n't frightened right away , not the way she should have been . she knew kyle was okay ; it did n't even register that he might not be . he 'd been strapped in-she was sure of it-and there was n't any damage in the back . the back door was already open ... even in her bewildered state , she felt certain that the person-whoever he was-had helped kyle out of the car . by now the figure was at the window . `` listen , do n't try to talk . you 're pretty banged up . my name is taylor mcaden , and i 'm with the fire department . i 've got a radio in my car . i 'm gon na get you help . '' she rolled her head , focusing on him with blurry eyes . she did her best to concentrate , to make her words as clear as possible . `` you have my son , do n't you ? '' she knew what the answer would be , what it should be , but strangely , it did n't come . instead he seemed to need extra time to translate the words in the same way that kyle did . his mouth contorted just a little , almost sluggishly , then he shook his head . i just got here ... ... it was then-while looking in his eyes and imagining the worst-that the first jolt of fear shot through her . like a wave , it started crashing and she felt herself sinking inward , as she had when she 'd learned of her mother 's death . lightning flashed again , and thunder followed almost immediately . the rain poured from the sky , and the man wiped his forehead with the back of his hand . `` my son was in the back ! the words came out clearly , forcefully enough to startle the man at the window , to awaken the last of her deadened senses . `` i do n't know- '' in the sudden downpour , he had n't understood what she was trying to tell him . denise struggled to get out of the car , but the seat belt across her lap held her fast . she unbuckled it quickly , ignoring the pain in her wrist and elbow . the man took an involuntary step backward as denise forced the door open , using her shoulder because the door had crumpled slightly from the impact . her knees were swollen from smashing into the console , and she almost lost her balance as she stood . `` i do n't think you should be moving- '' holding on to the car for support , she ignored the man as she moved around the car , toward the opposite side , where kyle 's door stood open . in disbelief , she bent inside to look for him . her eyes scanned the floor , then back to the seat again , as if he might magically reappear . blood rushed to her head , bringing with it a piercing pain that she ignored . kyle ... `` lady ... '' the man from the fire department followed her around the car , seemingly uncertain of what to do or what was going on or why this lady who was covered in blood was suddenly so agitated . she cut him off by grabbing his arm , her eyes boring directly into his . a little boy ... brown hair ? '' the words were tinged with genuine panic . `` he was in the car with me ! '' `` no , i- '' `` you 've got to help me find him ! he 's only four ! '' she whirled around , the rapid movement almost making her lose her balance . she grabbed hold of the car again . the corners of her vision faded to black as she struggled to keep the dizziness at bay . the scream came out despite the spinning in her mind . pure terror now . concentrating ... closing one eye to help her focus ... getting clearer again . the storm was in full fury now . trees not twenty feet away were difficult to see through the rain . it was absolute darkness in that direction ... only the path to the highway was clear . the highway ... she could feel her feet slipping in the mud-soaked grass , she could hear herself drawing short , rapid gasps as she staggered toward the road . she fell once , got up again , and kept going .	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i just resented the way she expected me to take you to the cleaners . she made me think of that half-million dollars and it felt so damn wrong . '' she thumped the cushions with a fist . `` i should have stood strong , let the company go under if that 's the way things had to be . `` whoa , whoa , slow down a second . '' he cupped her shoulders and turned her to face him fully . he might have some issues of his own he would like to press with her , but no way in hell was he going to let lauren doubt herself this way . damn jacqueline for cutting such a wide swath through this amazing woman 's confidence . `` let 's unpack these thoughts one at a time . first , the creep stole from you . that happens to the most competent , smart people in the business world all the time . hell , even entire cities get ripped off . second , we are attached through this baby , which means we have to work together and help each other . if my ass lands in the fire , i damn well expect you to come help me . he tapped her chin . she nodded , her smile a little steadier this time . `` i do hear you , and i have to admit i like what you 're saying . '' `` and lastly- '' this one was for his own satisfaction , as much as hers `` -quit giving a crap what your mother thinks . i do n't want her upsetting the mother of my kid . '' her hands cupped either side of his neck as she cocked her head . `` that point 's not quite as reasonable as the first two , you know . '' yeah , and he felt a bit like a hypocrite since he 'd let his father 's opinion matter for most of his life . `` maybe when it comes to you i 'm not as reasonable as i would like to be . '' `` now come to bed . '' her smile was slow , sensuous and full out this time . `` god , woman- '' he slid an arm around her shoulders , his knuckles skimming the side of her breast `` -you have a one-track mind . '' she nibbled along his jaw . `` are you inviting me to make out again ? '' truth be told , he wanted something more from her right now . `` i 'm asking you to sleep with me . '' she yawned her agreement , her voice offhand , totally missing the significance of what he was trying to say . she was already walking toward the cabin , her head tucked under his chin . he tried to tell himself it was his impatience kicking into overdrive . yet even as they slid under the covers and she tucked close against his chest , jason could sense she was holding a part of herself back . playing out fantasies was fine for her . but after the way she 'd been burned in the past , he was beginning to see that lauren ran like hell from the messiness of real life . long after jason drifted off to sleep , lauren stared at the moon and stars playing around in the sky just beyond the portal . the gentle rocking of the boat would have lulled her to sleep on any other night , but now ? too much turmoil churned inside her.tugging the comforter more securely over them , she tucked her leg between his , tangled up in the sheets , and savored the warm , bristly weight against her . if only they could stay on this boat , maybe move a little farther out to sea where her cell phone would n't pick up a signal . these middle-of-the-night calls from her mother were n't anything new , and she should have expected it . after all , there had to be fall-out for not telling jacqueline about the baby . she 'd just hoped this time ... squeezing her eyes shut , she mentally kicked herself for expecting too much from her mother . she should know better after all these years of ups and downs . how damn stupid to get emotionally wrecked because she wanted to pick out nursery decorations with her mom . to talk about baby names , even . instead , she 'd been given the name of a divorce lawyer . she was fairly damn certain she was n't going to name her kid horace-after her mom 's current favorite attorney . lauren tucked herself closer to jason and his arm slid around her waist in his sleep . sighing , she snuggled even nearer , taking some of the comfort she had n't been able to let her guard down enough to accept earlier . keeping things light was much better in the long run-it meant her heart would n't be as broken when they had to say goodbye . `` damn it , jason , a subject is supposed to be still . you 're making this so much more difficult than it has to be . but he did n't think he was cut out to be a nude model . of course , given he was the subject and the canvas , staying motionless was a little tougher than normal .	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as for selling the property , you had little choice . the medical bills had to be paid . '' `` i would think you of all people would understand this , rafe . you may despise women , but you obviously adore your parents and siblings . it does n't matter how much you or my mother or anyone else tells me that it 's not my fault , i still feel responsible . i ca n't seem to make that feeling go away . '' `` would you be here now if you did n't feel responsible ? '' she looked at him as if truly considering her words . i 'm not here because i feel guilt over causing the wreck . i 'm here because whether it was my fault or not , i have the chance to make my mother 's life a little bit better . she always sacrificed everything for me , and now it 's my turn to do the same for her . this has nothing to do with whether i 'm responsible or not ; this is about making my mom 's life a little bit better . '' `` and if i tell you i want your total submission ? '' he felt himself holding his breath as he waited for her response . when a genuine smile flitted across her face , he fought not to join her with his own grin . `` then i 'd tell you that you 'll be sorely disappointed . '' ari took a few bites of her meal , but when his attendant came back , she gave her the tray , then leaned against the seat and looked back out the window . it did n't take her long to fall asleep , her features relaxing as she involuntarily let down her guard . rafe found that he could gaze at her for limitless amounts of time and be perfectly content . frustrated with himself , he opened his laptop back up and forced himself not to think about ari for the next couple of hours . he had her where he wanted her - now he needed to focus on other priorities in his life . chapter three `` ari , we 're here . startled awake , ari opened her eyes to find rafe peering down at her . darn , his little foreplay on the jet had zapped every ounce of her energy . she moved her neck , then winced as she felt the pinch . sleeping while sitting up in a seat - even a chair as comfortable as the one on rafe 's jet - was murder on the muscles . `` we 're in new york ? '' `` yes , we 're pulling up to the hangar now . it 's seven , so i thought we 'd grab a bite to eat before reaching the hotel . '' ari 's nerves twisted into a tight coil when he mentioned the hotel . she knew what he expected , and it was n't a cold night in their room . what in particular was on the horizon ? she had a suspicion that her obedience training would begin without delay . excitement was n't what she expected to feel coursing through her , but that 's exactly what it was . rafe had a way of turning her body to jelly ; say what she would , being with him was n't the end of the world . ari 's biggest fear in these precious last moments of freedom was of falling in love with him . he 'd been more than honest in setting forth his feelings about their relationship . it was about sex and only sex for him - nothing more . yes , she 'd be a fool to fall for him . if he continued acting like an irredeemable jerk , it would be much easier for her to despise him . it was the moments of kindness he exhibited that scared her . she could n't resist his tenderness . `` i 'm going to use your bathroom for a minute , '' she said as she stiffly rose to her feet , grabbing her clutch before making her way to the back of the jet . as the large aircraft cruised to a stop , she had to hold on to the counters as she moved . she was thankful the jet stopped as she closed the bathroom door . she understood now why you were n't supposed to leave your seat until the aircraft had come to a complete stop - it was difficult to remain standing . taking her time , ari knew rafe was probably glancing at his watch every fifteen seconds , but she did n't care . she needed to pull herself together , so she washed her face and reapplied her makeup before choosing to join him again . as she made her way out front , she was impressed that he did n't seem irritated . the jet 's door was already open and he waited there at the top to escort her down . she could refuse the arm he was holding out to her , but that seemed petty , so she accepted it and walked down the steps , feeling the warmth of his side so close to hers . immediately , the biting wind of new york sneaked up her skirt and sent shivers through her body . it was much colder in the big apple than back home .	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`` we brought you teriyaki chicken with rice and veggies , '' rachel said as she pulled containers from the white sack . maryellen 's appetite had been almost nonexistent for weeks . jon had to coax her to eat at every meal . but all at once she was ravenous . `` that sounds fabulous . '' rachel handed her a filled plate and a pair of chopsticks . maryellen sat cross-legged on the sofa while her two friends arranged ottomans on the other side of the coffee table . the three of them dug into their lunch as teri explained that it was from a new take-out place on the outskirts of cedar cove . they all proclaimed the food to be delicious and worth getting again . teri had been considerate enough to leave a menu with maryellen . `` for when you guys just want to order in . '' `` i think i should cut your hair short , '' teri said next . `` really short . you 've got better things to do than fuss with your hair . '' it was all she could do to get it combed every day . `` jon wo n't like that . '' `` hey , he is n't the one who has to wash it and brush it , '' teri said . maryellen could imagine how he 'd react . the last time she 'd had more than a trim was soon after katie 's birth . until then , maryellen had worn her dark hair long and straight , reaching the middle of her back , much as it did now . jon had never actually said he did n't like her new style , but she could sense that he 'd been disappointed . he often told her how much he loved her long , glossy hair , how beautiful he found it . `` okay , what do you mean by short ? '' teri 's dark eyes twinkled . `` i hope you realize i ca n't afford this , '' she felt obliged to remind her friends . `` that 's not your concern , '' rachel was quick to tell her . `` and , '' teri added , `` included in the fee was a more-than-generous tip . '' maryellen asked , although she could guess . `` your fairy godfather , '' rachel told her . `` that 's all i 'm going to say . '' just as maryellen had thought . her new stepfather , cliff harding , had arranged this . `` like i said , '' rachel scolded , drawing two fingers across her mouth , `` my lips are zipped . '' the next two hours were such a pleasure . teri washed her hair in the sink , and while she cut , dried and styled it , rachel worked on her nails . god bless cliff for this-and so much else . ever since her mother and cliff had met , she 'd been impressed by what a loving , thoughtful man he was . `` tell me the latest gossip , '' maryellen said as the two women continued their beauty treatment . `` well , '' teri said , sighing deeply , `` the biggest news is that nate olsen 's back in town . '' nate was the young warrant officer rachel had been seeing . her friend had an ambiguous relationship with a widower named bruce peyton , which had gone on for three-or was it four ? -years . then this navy man had entered her life . maryellen wondered which one rachel would eventually choose . `` nate and i are dating casually , that 's all . '' maryellen doubted the `` casual '' part but did n't comment . `` what about bruce ? '' she asked , knowing how close rachel was to bruce 's daughter , jolene . she brushed off the questions , sounding a bit impatient , but maryellen suspected rachel 's feelings for bruce went deeper than she realized . teri said , expertly wielding her scissors . `` rachel has two men on the line and i have n't hooked a single one . '' `` you should 've put in your bid at the bachelor auction , '' rachel teased , referring to the charity event at which she 'd `` bought '' nate . `` those men were far too expensive for my pocketbook , '' teri muttered , still clipping . long pieces of hair fell to the floor . she bent to gather up maryellen 's hair . `` want to donate this to make a wig for a cancer patient ? '' maryellen felt good about giving to someone in need-especially since she 'd received so much herself . a few minutes later , teri switched on the television to check the weekend weather . `` hey , '' she said , stepping back from the screen as the local news broadcast concluded . `` there 's a big chess championship coming to seattle . '' `` do you like chess ? '' it 's a lot like checkers , is n't it ? '' rachel and maryellen exchanged looks . `` well , not really , '' rachel answered .	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`` when i discovered that gordon had been unfaithful , i told him that unless he would be faithful , i would not welcome him intimately . '' shock crossed caleb 's face , followed by determination . `` i will do everything i can to make sure you never regret being with me . '' trust did not come easily for her , but carlotta had no doubt he meant every word . she whispered coyly . and the only words i want to hear from you are about what feels good . and feel free to scream . '' her folds not only hummed to life , but screamed with need . then he ripped her panties from her hps with big , urgent hands . she was still gasping when he pried her thighs open and cupped her mound with his huge , bare hand . his skin was hot , and his touch was a shock . her back bowed and electricity raced down her thighs , then up again to settle under her slick , needy folds . gently , he ground the heel of his palm against the most sensitive nerves . sensations soared up , then up again , and up some more . `` so wet , lottie . '' he parted her folds with his fingers , then toyed with that button of nerves , a gentle circle that had her mewling . `` that feel good , baby ? blindly , she clutched at him and nodded , lifting her hps in supplication . oh , he was going to give her an orgasm , and with so little effort . the promise of the pleasure just out of reach was a stunning , welcome surprise . `` that 's it ... let it build . let it feel so good . you 're getting close , are n't you ? so damn hot , baby . now look at me , lottie . i want to see your face when you- '' her eyes flew open as the ecstasy rushed in , converging right between her legs , then exploded in a torrent of astonishing bliss that flooded her entire body . her womb pulsed . her body blazed . the power of it was enough to light up mexico city . long and breath stealing and amazing , the orgasm dazzled . his hot blue stare locked onto her eyes , taking her captive and refusing to let her go . vaguely , she realized that she was screaming and her voice echoed through the empty house . then she was freefalling in the aftermath , but she need not have worried . caleb was there to catch her , with his arms around her , pressing his lips to hers . `` god , that was beautiful , baby . '' his harsh , trembling whisper made her smile . `` it felt ... like nothing i have ever known . '' she batted her lashes shyly , feeling rosy and damp and beautiful . his blue stare pinned her in place . `` no man has ever made you come with his hand ? '' she blushed furiously and could n't quite meet his stare . `` with his hand , his mouth , his ... anything . chapter 5 `` if i have my way , it wo n't be the last time , '' caleb drawled . amazing that no man had ever managed to make her come . well , on the other hand , maybe it was n't . not gordon anyway . he was an asswipe of the first order , clearly . anyone else she 'd slept with did n't matter . if caleb had his way , he would be her last lover-and her best . because for him , she had been like a spark plug , firing quickly and powerfully . he wanted to see that again . caleb inched down her body , spreading kisses as he descended . fuck , she smelled so good . her arousal perfumed the air , and the olfactory high was making him dizzy . god knew it had made his cck steel hard long ago . then he reached between her legs , pried her open with his thumbs , and let his tongue drown in her sweetness . carlotta gasped , clutching at his head . `` tasting you , lottie . i want you to come on my tongue . '' she panted , writhing as he laved her clit , then sucked it into his mouth . `` men do this ? '' obviously not the men she 'd been with . had they all been fucktards in bed ? whatever ... corrupting her would be so much fun . his blood surged at that thought , and he settled supine between her legs , putting one on each shoulder . jesus , she was more intoxicating than a fifth of scotch . his body hummed as he sucked her clt into his mouth and soaked in her little cries . she thrashed under his mouth and his hands , totally lost to passion . her heart might be guarded , but her body was wide open . caleb hoped like hell that carlotta letting him touch her flesh meant that he was beginning to earn her trust . maybe after this , he 'd get behind her walls , too-and closer to that heart . `` caleb ... '' she arched as she panted his name . her p**sy gushed for him .	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well maybe something , yoshi said solemnly . what do you think will be different ? well , its hard to say exactly . for starters , her hair may be different . ive read in several gossip magazines that girls often cut their hair when they are sad . melissa may have chopped all her hair off . gabriel exhaled sharply , relieved , and then said , i dont care if she has buzzed all her hair off , she will look just as beautiful to me . and dont believe everything you read in gossip magazines . not all american girls are like the starlets you read about . women and america are really misrepresented by those kinds of magazines . hey i like my tattletale weekly ! ive learned a lot of useful stuff about popular culture from them , yoshi said . wait until we get to her house before you judge my information sources . she could have a purple mohawk for all you know . i doubt it , yoshi . yoshi did not offer any further opinion . instead , he sat silently in the passenger seat of gabriels rented jeep cherokee as they drove up melissas street . how can you possibly be calm at a time like this , gabriel asked and grabbed yoshi by the arm . hey , eyes on the road ! you dont want to see her for the first time in five months wrapped around a tree do you ? yoshi was quiet for a second then added , im happy for you . im happy youre finally going to get to see her . gabriel could not stop smiling as he drove up her hill . his face began to hurt from doing so as her house came into view . he slowed to a near crawl as he approached and felt a familiar feeling of excitement surge in his stomach before he noticed that her bedroom light was on . eager to see her , he parked the cherokee four houses away . is this her house ? wheres the big tree you told me about ? no , this isnt it . we passed it . were going to walk to her house , cross her property and climb the tree to her window . wouldnt the front door be easier ? but im guessing her father is home and would not be too thrilled to see me after what happened last time i was here , how i just took off and left melissa to deal with the police and everything . and how i hurt his daughter . when you put it that way , i can see why youd want to avoid him . hes probably not a big fan of yours , yoshi replied . it sounds like the tree is the best route . they both climbed out of the jeep cherokee and began walking up the steep incline of melissas street . each residence was uniform in construct , only subtle variations in choice of shutter color or siding hue differentiated them . composed predominantly of working-class residents , the members of the blackstone drives community dutifully maintained their property . gabriel noticed that each lawn they passed had been mowed , flower beds were meticulously upheld , and shrub shapes were maintained . the overall landscape was neat and orderly , a refreshing departure from the unpredictability and , at times , unruliness , that defined the environment of his previous habitat . all the houses are exactly alike , yoshi commented . kind of , gabriel agreed . is that how all neighborhoods are in america ? no , not all , but who cares , really ? look over there , look what this neighborhood has thats unique , gabriel said pointing to the eastern-facing houses that bore odd numbers . beyond the odd numbered houses , the sun hung low in the sky , almost disappeared into the horizon , its vanishing light a faint glow in the west . sunsets for one side of the street , sunrises for the other . interesting , yoshi said but didnt seem interested in the least . gabriel believed his friend would have been happier in a less suburban setting , one with tall buildings and bright lights . but yoshis entertainment was not his foremost thought . furthermore , he was far too distracted to entertain such thoughts . everything around him shimmered and thrived . the air smelled sweet and green with hints of lemon grass and lavender scenting it . everywhere he looked , something bloomed . daffodils , tulips and magnolia lined driveways , cherry blossoms and early azalea blooms made debuts in front yards . blackstone drive flourished with signs of spring . gabriel , like the street he treaded upon , was awash with hope and vitality . and then he saw her house . the light of her bedroom lamps cast a faint golden glow onto the garage that shelved below it . he felt his breath catch in his chest , couldnt believe he was actually standing underneath her room , that he would hold her in his arms in a matter of minutes . he looked beside the house and smiled . the mature oak looked bigger . though he was sure it hadnt gown taller in the last five months , he knew it grew wider .	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`` i have nothing to say to you , '' i answer finally . i start to brush past him , but he grabs my arm in an effort to get me to stay . i look at him sharply , straight in the eye , a get-your-fking-hand-off-me look , and he loosens his grip . i guess he learned his lesson the other night . fiona pops ups behind him , her face cautious and sullen . `` please , '' cris adds . `` you need to hear this , but i do n't think we should talk about it in here . '' `` fuck you , '' i tell him abruptly , pushing past him to the dining room . `` you 're such a dick , '' fiona snaps after me . i just keep walking until i find my mom and i pause to kiss her on the forehead . `` i love you , but i wo n't come here when he 's here . '' she protests and grabs at me , but i walk past her , out into the yard and to my car . i ignore the way fiona yells after me angrily , the way cris stares at me as i leave , and the disappointed expression on my father 's face . i ignore it all . because i 'm dominic fking kinkaide and nothing bothers me . nothing touches me , because i wo n't let it . against my will , my eyes sting and i know they 're red . i rub at them and then fire up the engine . even though it 's only nine p.m. and sin 's party will be going full force soon , i head back there ... because i do n't have anywhere else to go . there 's about a million cars lined up on sin 's property when i get there , and i almost want to turn around and drive back out . instead , i park in the garage and make my way into the house , picking my way through the dark . i wind through the crowded rooms , making my way around the perimeter toward the staircase . as i reach the bottom step , i feel someone watching and i glance to the side . jacey is standing still in the middle of the room , dressed in her uniform , letting a party guest lick salt off of her forearm for a tequila shot . she 's heavily made up tonight : thick mascara , red lipstick . she smiles up at him with those red lips , a fake smile , and as she does , she catches sight of me . she freezes in shock , although , what the fuck ? i 'm the one living here temporarily . i belong here , she does n't . suddenly , a guy comes rushing up to me , someone i do n't know . a very drunk someone . `` dude , can you sign my shirt for my girlfriend ? if i take home your autograph , i 'll get laid for a month . '' he grabs at my arm and i shake him off in annoyance . if you were lucky enough to get invited here , then you should know not to approach anyone for autographs . '' i 'm not usually so rude to fans . but my mood gets the better of me . the guy stares at me , stunned , and i continue on my way . as i do , i feel jacey 's gaze . she pulls her arm away from the guy , sets down her tray of shots , and makes a beeline for me . i turn my back on her , intent on continuing up the stairs without acknowledging her , but she wo n't have it . she grabs my arm , forcing me to look at her . `` that was pretty harsh . '' i glance down at her , into her brown eyes , and find her to be sincerely concerned . i must look seriously rattled if she noticed that something is wrong . she barely knows me . her fingers are warm on my arm , and for a minute i waver . she 's warm and soft and concerned . i know what that might turn into . a wild night that will make me feel better . women are all the same : they want to fix what is broken and they 're willing to do anything to accomplish that . i never talk about my past or anything at all about me , but women can still sense that i 'm f**ked up . what they do n't understand ... is that i 'm unfixable . i stare down at her again , shaking my head . but she looks at me again , really looks at me , her brown eyes probing mine . because something about her makes me think that it does somehow matter to her , and not just because i 'm dominic kinkaide . everything i 've seen of jacey is wild and untamed ... she works for saffron , pushes cops around , gets dressed in parking lots , and lets men lick salt off her body for tequila shots . yet at the same time , she seems warm and real . i have n't forgotten how she shoved her way in between cris and i and shielded my body with her own . she 's a puzzle . jacey looks confused by my question .	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she is adamant that until i understand my part in what went wrong between us , i ca n't really embrace another relationship . '' rachel sucked in a breath . the last thing she wanted to do was talk about her past in front of her current squeeze , even though they had almost no likelihood of sharing a future . she 'd love it if there were possibilities for her and decker ; last night had been incredible-everything she 'd fantasized about and more . he was still something like a dream this morning . but real life was n't a fairy tale , and she was n't expecting happily ever after . `` owen , i think we 've said everything important between us . '' `` tell me ... was i truly insensitive to your feelings ? '' what a catch-22 . if she said no , owen would know she was lying . if she said yes , it would spark an unpleasant discussion . good gravy , sometimes she hated her pathological need to do the right thing . we discussed this at the end , if you 'll remember . '' explain it again . '' `` you were always very absorbed with your work , owen . before i even left the room , you were already pondering atomic particles or quantum entanglement or whatever the project of the moment was . when i entered a room , most of the time , i was n't even sure you knew i was there . '' owen inhaled stiffly . i 'm sorry if you thought otherwise . not everyone understands my work . but carly does . she finds it as engrossing as i do . '' then she ought to be a regular barrel of fun . maybe you two have more in common than we did and- '' `` let 's cut to the chase , '' decker interrupted . `` if carly wants you to understand how you f**ked up the first time , let me clue you in . you were self-absorbed , dumbass . dude , it 's not always about you . '' decker scowled across the room at owen . `` you did n't care if you gave rachel pleasure or made her feel loved . you were more interested in your job than your wife , and that 's never going to make any woman with a drop of passion in her blood or an ounce of love in her heart happy . '' owen sputtered angrily , then gaped at her with his face full of betrayal . `` you 've spoken to him about us ? '' `` you 've spoken to carly about our marriage , '' she pointed out . adjusting his shirt , owen stiffened righteously . `` yes , but we 've been dating for some time now . we 're contemplating a future together . if i 'm not mistaken , you can measure the time you 've known this obnoxious lothario in hours . rachel , i do n't know what you 're thinking , but he 's using you for sex . then he 'll leave you . i thought you respected yourself more than to act like a ... cheap floozy for someone like him . '' she reared back as if he 'd slapped her in the face . `` i was thinking about experiencing all the orgasms i never got when i was married to you . and decker might not have phrased it nicely , but he 's absolutely right . i did n't feel valued , owen . i do n't think you ever truly loved me . if you came here for advice , i 'll give it to you . start by caring about something besides work . romance is important . sex is more than a bodily function . do n't make her feel like an interruption or your dirty necessity . you did that to me all the time , you ... the enormity of what she 'd just said hit her . had that really just spewed from her mouth ? her mama had taught her that if she did n't have anything nice to say , she should n't say anything at all . but if he 'd come here for the truth , why not give it to him ? clearly decker was rubbing off on her ... `` what she said , '' he added with a proud smile . `` i 'm speechless , '' owen admitted , looking stupefied . `` i did n't know you felt that strongly about frivolous things like flowers and intercourse . i married you because i thought you were far too sensible to care much for such inane things . '' and honestly , you would n't have cared how i felt , owen . and i 'll tell you the truth . carly probably cares about those things , too , because she 's a woman , not a robot . if you want to keep her , you need to figure out how to meet her halfway . '' `` i never meant to hurt you , '' he offered . i just hope you 're ready to be a better man and partner with carly . '' he simply sat there , looking disoriented and lost in thought . rachel had never seen that expression on his face . he was actually worried about losing carly .	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when grace returned to the cedar cove branch , she had to admit she was giving cliff 's suggestion that she retire due consideration . one way or another , she 'd been working her entire adult life . after the girls were born , she 'd taken night classes at olympic community college . later she 'd transferred to the university of washington for her library science degree . upon graduation she 'd been fortunate enough to be hired by the local library . those early years had been good for her and dan . he 'd helped with the children and given her his support as she went back to school . despite their financial constraints and the problems that haunted dan , grace knew he loved her as much as he could love anyone . it was once maryellen and kelly started school and grew older that his dark moods became intolerable . they hung over their marriage and family life and had grown progressively worse until the end , just before he 'd disappeared . it was difficult to think about her marriage to dan and not feel a sense of grief and loss . grace did n't understand why he was lingering in her mind on such a busy day . loretta , another librarian , stepped into her office . `` there 's a gentleman out front who 'd like to see you . '' `` did he give you his name ? '' `` no , he said he 's an old family friend . he came to apply for a library card . '' in that instant grace knew it could only be will jefferson . `` he seems friendly , '' loretta added . it was inevitable , grace supposed , that she 'd see will again ; it was going to happen sooner or later . squaring her shoulders , she followed loretta out of the office . sure enough , will jefferson leaned indolently against the counter , as though he had all the time in the world . when he saw grace , he smiled and straightened . olivia 's older brother had been a strikingly handsome young man , and the years had n't changed that . he still had a rakish , self-assured air . as a teenager , grace had the biggest crush on will . back then , he barely knew she was alive , which was probably why she 'd been so flattered when he 'd shown interest in her after dan 's death . will bestowed on her the warmest of smiles . `` you look wonderful , as usual . '' he was smooth , always had been . so you 're here to apply for a library card ? '' she was n't going to exchange pleasantries with him , nor was she willing to make him feel welcome . if he wanted a library card , he could get one without her assistance . `` i was n't sure if you knew i was in town , '' will continued , obviously undaunted by her curtness . `` i heard about it . '' `` i assume olivia told you . '' grace did n't respond . `` yes , as a matter of fact , there is , '' will said with all the charm at his disposal . `` how about having lunch with me ? we 've got a few things to discuss and it would be good if we cleared the air . '' this was exactly what grace could never allow . in case you 've forgotten , i 'm married . '' `` i 'm not asking you to lunch as a date or to upset your husband . it just seems that if the two of us are going to be living in the same town , it might be best to talk about what happened . i know you have regrets and for that matter , so do i . '' he sounded sincere and for a moment grace wavered . `` cliff is n't the jealous type , is he ? '' `` of course not , '' she said , refusing to let him imply that cliff was possessive and unreasonable . `` but i have nothing to say to you . your sister 's my best friend and other than that , we have nothing in common . '' `` all right , '' will murmured . `` by the way , i 've rented an apartment on the cove , near waterfrontpark . '' somehow she was n't surprised to learn that he 'd be living five minutes from the library . `` i 've always been a voracious reader , '' he said . in other words , he was informing her that he planned to be a frequent visitor to the library . `` let me know if there 's anything you need , '' she muttered , `` and i 'll have someone on staff see to it . '' she wanted it understood that she would n't be at his beck and call whenever he decided to check out a book . it felt satisfying to show will jefferson that she was completely over him , and had been for a long time . unintentionally , he 'd taught her some valuable lessons about herself . painful lessons . furthermore , she was n't going to risk her marriage over him , and the sooner he realized that , the better . `` nice to see you again , will , '' she said casually .	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i also set up a day of shooting for a tag heuer commercial while you 're there . you love their watches . '' `` i do n't even wear a watch , '' i grumble into the phone , pouring a cup of coffee with one hand as i stand completely nude in the middle of my kitchen . `` you will for a million dollars , '' tally says cheerfully . `` it 's an easy day 's work for you . their vp of marketing is a good friend of mine and i owed him a favor . just do this for me , please . '' but you know i hate endorsing shit , '' i growl . `` unless porsche needs a spokesman , no more endorsements . `` deal , '' tally replies . `` your plane will be wheels up tonight at seven pm . amy ca n't make the flight with you , but she 'll meet you there . they 're going to work her into the promos at the same time so they can wrap it all up in two days . '' i 've got to be on a flight in eight hours . sighing , i gulp at my coffee . `` so much for a vacation , '' i sigh again in resignation . i can practically hear my manager smile through the phone . `` your brothers have a show in amsterdam . i 'm going to arrange for you to swing through there on your way home . you might not catch the show , but you can visit your brothers for a day or two . i know you have n't seen them in a while . '' because of their world tour , i have n't seen them in months . i had actually been looking forward to their show in chicago next month just so i can have the chance to see them . we 've always been close , but our hectic schedules prevent us from getting together as much as we 'd like . `` i 'll be on the plane at seven . i ca n't trust you to stay out of trouble over there . '' he laughs and i 'm not sure if he 's kidding or not . `` oh , by the way , '' he adds . `` i sent you a gift . it should be there any minute . i figured your house needs cleaned before you leave . '' `` i 've got a housekeeper , '' i remind him . `` not like this , you do n't , '' he answer cryptically , and then hangs up . i barely have time to finish my cup of coffee before my doorbell rings . i pad over the marble floors to answer it , only bothering to pull on a pair of pants before i do . i 'm still shirtless when i open the door and find two gorgeous college-aged girls standing in front of me . blonde , pert , big tits . i grin , a slow grin that the public knows and loves . both girls grin back . i lift my eyebrow . they both giggle . `` we 're from naked maids , '' one of them tells me . `` we 're here to clean your house ... .naked . '' i ca n't help but grin again at the mere thought . leave it to him to find something like this . he always looks out for me ... on every level . `` good , '' i tell them , ushering them in . `` the only problem is ... my house is already clean . can we find something else for you to do ? '' they look at each other slyly as i lead them through the house to my living room . `` we 're not supposed to do anything else , '' the taller one says . `` but you 're dominic kinkaide . we 'll break the rules for you . '' `` that 's perfect , '' i tell them . `` because i 'm a rule breaker . i 'd like for you to clean her , '' and i point at the other girl . they are n't even fazed . she nods with a mischievous look in her eye and they move to the center of the room and drop onto the plush rug . i situate myself on a sofa , my legs sprawled out as i watch . god , i love to watch . hands , lips , tongues and fingers move together , rubbing , stroking , sucking . my dick hardens and i pull it out , stroking it with my fingers . the girls look up . the shorter one asks , her lips glistening . they turn back to each other , burying their tongues in each other 's mouth as their hands move everywhere . their fingers slip in , out , wet . they moan softly as they suckle each other , constantly glancing over their shoulders to see if i like the show . i finish up within a few minutes and lay sated on my couch as they finish each other off . they look up at me as i get to my feet . `` anything else you want us to do ? '' one of them purrs . `` maybe clean up the kitchen ? '' their faces are astonished as i walk away and do n't look back , headed for my shower . i guess they do n't get that request very often .	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so in the fall of 2009 , when she had the opportunity to meet him at starbucks and discuss her dissertation , she was eager to see if their meeting could turn into dinner and possibly a visit to lobby . she would be on her best behavior , but she would be alluring . hopefully , he would stop resisting her . in preparation for her meeting , she spent six hundred dollars on a black bordelle chemise , along with garters and black silk stockings . she disdained the matching panties . every time the garters pulled across the surface of her skin , she felt inflamed . she wondered how it would feel when professor emerson released her stockings from their bonds , preferably with his teeth . unfortunately for christa , paul and julia had chosen to inhabit the same starbucks at the same time . christa knew without doubt that any impropriety on her part would be eagerly watched and noted by her fellow students . the professor would know this too , and thus be far more professional than usual . so when christa confronted paul and julia , she was beyond pissed . she wanted to insult the two of them so they would leave before the professor arrived . she did her damnedest to make sure that happened . nevertheless , her attempt at intimidating her fellow graduate students went horribly awry . professor emerson arrived earlier than expected and overheard her . `` miss peterson . '' gabriel pointed toward an empty table far away from paul and julia and indicated that christa should follow him . `` professor emerson , i bought you a venti latte with skim milk . '' she tried to hand it to him , but he waved it aside . `` only barbarians drink coffee with milk after breakfast . have n't you ever been to italy ? and by the way , miss peterson , skim milk is for wankers . or fat girls . '' he spun on his heel and walked over to the counter to order his own coffee while christa tried valiantly to hide her rage . damn you , julianne . you and the monk . christa sat in the chair that professor emerson had pointed out , feeling almost defeated . almost , for from her vantage point , she had a lovely view of professor emerson 's ass in his gray flannel trousers . rounded like two apples . two ripe , delicious apples . she wanted to take a bite out of them . at length , the professor returned with his own damn coffee . he sat as far away from her as possible , while still technically sitting at the same table , and gazed at her harshly . `` i need to speak to you about your behavior . but before i do , let me make one thing clear . i agreed to meet you here today because i desired a coffee . in the future , we will meet in the department as we normally do . your transparent attempts at engineering social engagements between the two of us will be unsuccessful . `` one word from me and you 'll be finding yourself a new dissertation director . '' `` in the future you will address me as professor emerson , even when speaking of me in the third person . `` yes , professor emerson . '' ohhhh , professor . you have no idea how much i want to scream your name . professor , professor , professor ... `` moreover , you will refrain from making personal remarks about my other students , especially miss mitchell . now christa was beginning to seethe a little , but she kept her reaction to herself . she placed all the blame on julia . she wanted to drive julia out of the program . she simply was n't sure how to do that . `` finally , anything you hear from me about another student or person connected with the university will be deemed to be confidential , and you will not repeat it or else you will find yourself another dissertation director . do you think you are intelligent enough to comply with these very simple instructions ? '' she bristled slightly at his condescension , but truth be told , she found his grumpiness sexy . she wanted to tease it out of him . to seduce him into doing unspeakable things to her , to- `` any more abuse directed toward ma students will be brought to the attention of professor martin , the department chair . i believe you are well aware of the regulations governing the behavior of graduate students . i do n't need to remind you about the prohibitions against hazing , do i ? '' `` but i was n't hazing julia , i was- '' `` no sniveling . and i doubt that miss mitchell gave you permission to use her first name . you will address her properly or not at all . '' christa bowed her head . threats of the sort he was making were not sexy . she 'd worked very hard to get into the phd program at the university of toronto , and she was n't about to let it all slip through her fingers . not for some pathetic little bitch who had something cooking with the professor 's research assistant . gabriel saw her reaction but said nothing , slowly sipping his espresso . he felt no remorse and was beginning to wonder what else he could do to make her cry .	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i do n't even know why we 're fighting about this . i was amused by her jealousy , but i 'm not amused anymore . i need to be inside her , and i need it now . one touch and she 'll fking know she 's every woman to me . inside our room , i toss her on the bed and jerk off my t-shirt , then i reach out to get rid of her clothes . she flails and kicks at me , her face still streaked with tears as she edges back . i trap her in my arms and hold her gaze with mine , my heart pounding as my hunter instincts kick in full gear in preparation to make her mine again . stop being ridiculous , '' i tell her , meaningfully squeezing her face . i haul her onto my lap , and she quietly starts crying . every soft sob rips me in two . i may not remember what i did when she was gone , but i remember the emptiness of her like a curse on me . maybe i fked up , but all i probably did was try to fill the void she left in me which nobody can ever fking fill but her . `` how well did you think i 'd cope when you left ? '' i ask her , hurting like a son of a bitch at the reminder . `` did you think it would be easy on me ? `` i 've left everything for you . '' she looks straight at me , hurt as if i did her bodily harm . a pained groan leaves me as i squish her to me , quietly rasping , `` i 'm the realest fking thing you 're ever going to have . '' she still looks up , and those hurt , tear-filled eyes of hers claw me like talons . `` it should 've been me all those times , '' she says tearfully . she sobs harder , and my chest f*king hurts for the both of us . to see , '' i quietly tell her . maybe i wish i had n't said that , but she hurts me and she does n't know it . i 'm strong physically but she guts me . what she does guts me , and her pain-caused by me-guts me most of all . as she cries herself to sleep , her sobs softening gradually until all that 's left is a hiccup in her soft breaths , i breathe her hair and hold her tighter than ever . i never ever want her to leave . not even for a night to sleep in diane 's suite . i do n't remember what i did when she left me , i was so out of it . but it does n't matter , nothing mattered but that she was n't with me . when she 's sound asleep , i start stripping her clothes , leaving her panties for last , pulling them down her leg and tossing everything aside . i stand up to strip myself too , then i get back in bed , nakd. i 'm so fking hard my balls hurt , but brooke shivers in her sleep and searches for my body heat , innocently rolling in her sleep to press closer to me . `` that 's right , i 'm right here , '' i say and wrap my arms around her . i drag my nose along her nape , petting her during the night , scenting and licking her . `` i only love you . you 're mine , and i 'm yours . nobody will ever have me but you . '' she 's tangled in bed with me two mornings later . yesterday morning , she was quiet and angry at me , but this morning i 've finally appeased her , and she 's relaxed and in my arms . her dark hair is spread behind her pillow and she 's resting on her stomach , her face buried in my chest while i at last pull in a good breath . hell , i felt like such an unwanted piece of shit yesterday , every breath felt like i was pulling in water . i got punched last night at the fight so she would stop ignoring me and touch me . she would n't touch me and i could n't fking stand it . she had no choice but to touch me after the fight . she was worried about me , tending to my cut lip up to the point she realized i took the hits on purpose . then she was all fire and anger , ordering me into the shower so she could rub me with her oils after . i like to let her think she can order me around . i carried her into the shower with me and told her she would fking love me if it killed us both . jesus , i 'm so fking greedy when it comes to her . `` you coming to the gym ? '' i quietly ask , massaging her butt with the palm of my hand .	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`` let me take you out to dinner , and we can talk over an idea i have for making sure you 're safe until the trial 's over . '' she closed the laptop on her desk and tucked it in a case . `` i have end-of-the-year grades to finish . '' i have half of a leftover panino waiting in my refrigerator at home . '' she might be a more poised woman now , but there was no missing the old celia stubbornness . she 'd dug in her heels , and it would take serious maneuvering to budge her . `` fine , then you leave me no choice . i 'll talk now . this threat against your life is real . in my line of work- '' his real line of work , which only a handful of people knew about `` -i have access to security sources you ca n't imagine . you need protection beyond anything the local police department can provide and more than your father can buy . '' `` you 're being overly dramatic . '' `` drug lords , celia , have unlimited funds and no scruples . '' he 'd taken the fall for those types as a teenager to keep his mother safe . and it was his own fault for putting himself in their path by working in that club as a last-ditch effort to make enough money to support celia and their baby on the way . `` they will hurt you , badly , even kill you , in hopes of swaying your father . '' `` do you think i do n't already know this ? '' her jaw flexed as she clenched her teeth , the only slip in her carefully controlled composure . he saw his opening and took it . `` fine , mr. know-it-all , '' she said with a sigh , sweeping back her silky hair from her face . clasping her arms , he stepped closer , willing himself not to cave to the temptation to gather her soft body close against him and kiss her until she was too dizzy to disagree . although if he had to use passion to persuade her , then so be it . because one way or another , he would convince her . `` let my bodyguards protect you . come with me on my european tour . '' two go on a european tour ? celia grabbed the edge of her desk for balance and choked back her shock at his outlandish offer . not after eighteen years apart , with only a few short letters and a couple of phone calls exchanged in the beginning . they 'd broken up , drifted away from each other , eventually cut off contact completely after the baby 's adoption was complete . back at the start of malcolm 's music career , she 'd been in her early twenties , under the care of a good therapist and going to college . she 'd dreamed of what it would be like if malcolm showed up on her doorstep . what if he swept her off her feet and they picked up where they 'd left off ? but those fantasies never came to fruition . they only held her back , and she 'd learned to make her own realities-concrete and reasonable plans for the future . even if he had shown up before , she was n't sure then or now if she would have gone with him . her mental health had been a hard-won battle . it could have been risky , in her fragile state , to trade stability for the upheaval of a life on the road with a high-profile music star . but it sure would have been nice to have the choice , for him to have cared enough to come back and offer . his ridiculous request now was too little , too late . celia hitched her floral computer bag over her shoulder and eyed her office door a few short steps away . `` joke 's over , malcolm . of course i 'm not going to europe with you . thanks for the laugh , though . i 'm heading home now rather than stick around through my planning period since , for the first day in forever , i 'm not slated for bus duty . you may have time to waste playing games , but i have grades to tabulate . '' his hand fell to rest on her bare arm , stopping her . hair prickled . goose bumps rose . and damn it , desire stirred in her belly . after all this time , her body still reacted to his touch , and she resented the hell out of that fact . `` you 're never serious . just ask the tabloid reporters . they fill articles with tales of your charm on and off camera . '' he angled closer , his grip firm , stoking long-buried embers . `` when it comes to you , i 've always been one hundred percent serious . '' and was n't that an about-face for them ? she used to be the wild , adventurous one while malcolm worked hard to secure his future . or at least , she 'd thought he 'd been serious about the future-until he 'd ended up in handcuffs , arrested . her breath hitched in her throat for three heavy heartbeats before she regained her equilibrium . `` then i 'll be the rational one here .	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an affair with franco would n't hurt anyone as long as she remembered his passion-profit-and-no-promises offer was temporary and kept her heart safely sealed off . for the first time all night she smiled . `` thanks , madeline . `` hey , that 's what friends are for . '' stacy savored the word and nodded . when she left monaco behind she 'd have friends , good memories of sex instead of only bad ones , and for the first time in her life , she 'd have a nest egg and soon , a home of her own . and she 'd be an ocean away from the man who threatened her equilibrium . `` everybody needs to take a nap today , '' candace said as she entered the sitting room for breakfast and their usual planning session friday morning . she placed her cell phone on the coffee table . candace was the only one of the women who had one that worked in monaco . their u.s. cell phones were useless here . `` because franco 's taking us to jimmy'z tonight . he says the place does n't start rocking until after midnight . '' stacy 's heart skipped a beat . she 'd wondered when she 'd see him again . wednesday night he 'd left her with a vague , `` i will be in touch . '' because she refused to waste a day in paradise sitting in her room and waiting for him to call , she 'd spent yesterday exploring monaco-ville , the oldest section of monaco , alone . her suitemates had other commitments . she 'd looked over her shoulder countless times as she watched the changing of the palace guard , wondering if she 'd run into franco , but he 'd have no reason to visit tourist spots like the prince 's palace or the wax museum . he 'd probably seen it all before . besides , he was probably at his office ... wherever that was . filled with a mixture of anticipation and dread , she 'd returned to the hotel late in the afternoon . but there 'd been no message from franco . stacy had shared a quiet meal at a sidewalk cafe with candace and then gone to bed early , only to toss and turn all night . how could she miss a man she did n't even know ? she blamed her uneasiness on not wanting to violate the terms of their agreement by being unavailable . it definitely was n't a desire to see him again . the warmth between her thighs called her a liar . `` typical of a guy , '' candace continued , `` he was stumped when i asked him what we should wear . '' stacy reached for one of her three guide books , looked up the club and read aloud , `` 'jimmy'z-an exclusive dance club where the jet set hangs out . dress code-casual to formal , but wear your designer labels . ' '' stacy did n't own any designer labels . `` you three can go shopping after we tour the oceanographic museum and the cathedral this morning , '' candace said . `` but i have an appointment with the stylist for a practice session on my wedding-day hairdo . '' `` same here , '' amelia offered . stacy could n't afford anything new , and she refused to let candace keep buying things for her . `` i 'll find something in my closet . '' and just like that franco undermined stacy 's concentration for a second day . every tall , dark-haired man she spotted in the distance friday morning made her pulse spike , and no matter how impressive the sights , she kept thinking about franco and the night ahead . had it not been for her lack of sleep for the past three nights she would n't have been dead to the world when the suite doorbell rang later that afternoon . shoving her hair out of her eyes she stumbled groggily into the sitting room , opened the door to a hotel staff member . `` a package for ms. reeves , '' he said . `` i 'm stacy reeves . '' she accepted the large rectangular pewter-colored box and the man turned away . i 'll get a tip . '' `` it 's been taken care of , mademoiselle . stacy closed the door and leaned against it , her exhaustion totally eradicated . only franco would send her something . she pushed off the door and carried the package into her room . with trembling hands she plucked at the lavender ribbon and opened the box . a folded piece of ivory stationery lay on top of the lavender tissue paper . she lifted it and read , for tonight . but the handwriting was the same as that on the card included with franco 's flowers . she inhaled a shaky breath and pushed back the tissue paper to reveal a pile of teal garments , the same shade as the mediterranean sea outside the hotel windows . she pulled out the first piece , a soft , silk camisole , and laid it on the bed .	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my lady place has n't been trimmed in so long it looks like malcolm gladwell 's hair . small woodland creatures probably make their home in there , and while i did ( thank god ) shower this morning , it 's not like i thought my cobwebs would need to be cleaned out today . he 's breathing slowly against me , body curled up and over mine , hovering and so ... male . being wanted like this by a man who is the undisputed leader in any given room full of penises is a turn-on , and my mind shuts off as the body takes over , his fingers making that all too easy as he finds my throbbing center . oh , he really is a god after all . the way he strokes me , slow and deliberate , as his tongue works in concert with his fingers , my mouth and sex both wet and wild , brings me to the edge so fast . the car pulls away from the curb and i giggle as we lurch , his erection pressing into my hip . his face is dark with want . i 'm wet with need . we 're a match made in limo . i undo his pants and reach in to grip him , the sharp hiss of air sucked in through his teeth my reward . i pull his pants down enough to look and see what i never got a chance to gaze at before we were so rudely interrupted by the bee who nearly killed shannon . thick and veiny and big , skin soft and vulnerable . `` i did n't break your penis after all , '' i say . i can see a tiny puncture mark with a fading bruise , though , just an inch or so away from the base of him . if i 'd been just slightly off ... `` no , you did n't . but maybe you will tonight . in the best of ways . '' his hands roam over my back , skimming the surface of my skin , then pressing with more urgency . i laugh , a sound of anticipation . `` are you evaluating me ? am i aesthetically pleasing ? '' he asks in a throaty chuckle . `` do you have your app ready to write up your review ? '' my answer is to release him and push him back against the seat . i throw one leg over his lap and straddle him , settling over his unleashed self , the thin cotton triangle of my panties the only thing keeping us apart . `` you 're part of a new project . the shopping for a billionaire project . '' i wiggle just enough to make him groan . his hands slide under my shirt , cupping my brsts , and with a grace that makes me moan he unclasps my bra and wraps those big , strong palms around my brsts . i make a noise of contemplation . six out of ten . '' he arches one eyebrow , clearly displeased . i do n't do six . '' i wiggle against him , the shaft sliding along my nub , making my next words come out with a quaking tone . `` no , you 're no six . '' i close one eye and slide up , shivering . `` maybe seven ? '' his abs tighten , shaft lifting just enough to make little light bursts appear , somehow making an entrance in my open-eyed vision . let 's go for ten , '' he insists . the snap of my panties registers for a second as a sharp , cutting pain against one hip as he rips them off me . all that separates us now is something deeper than decency . declan senses it , too , and shifts just enough , reaching into his back pocket for his wallet . the condom appears and he puts it on as i watch his hands , his face , marveling at the unreality of the moment . yet it feels more real than anything i can fathom . he guides me back into his lap and i settle my thighs around his hips , his tip at my entrance like a beacon , mutual throbbing making a pulse that joins two rhythms . and then he 's in me , kissing my neck , pulling my shirt up over my head , bra hanging from a door handle and he thrusts up into me , thumbs on my ni**les , my body burning for more . the thrill of his fullness in me , of the movements as he kisses me , slow , languid kisses so lush and patient . the kind of kiss you give someone when you mean it . when you want to be with them . when they 're enough . `` i have wanted you since the first time we met , '' he says , serious and breathing hard , his hands on either side of my face , eyes lasered in on mine . a shock of hair falls over his forehead and the day 's beard gives him a rakish look , even as he 's tender and loving . `` you rivet me , shannon . you make me want you more than i want to be in control , and no woman has ever done that .	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i think about you all the time , but whenever i do , i feel like a scumbag . '' his sensual lips twisted . `` are you really going to make me answer that ? '' she forced her lungs to expand with air . i ... think about you too . and i always wonder what michelle would think , which makes me feel guilty , but i ca n't stop myself . she 's with someone else now and seems really happy , so i do n't feel so bad anymore . '' i do n't want to go back to missing you so much . '' then he did what she had been fantasizing about from the moment he 'd touched her : he slid his hand farther along her cheek , into her hair . past her ear . until his fingers threaded deep and tight into her locks and he palmed the back of her head , bringing her closer until their lips hovered a breath away from each other . she made a whimpering sound she hated herself for , and his other hand came up to smooth her hair away from her face . trapped against him like this , she was powerless . his breath on her lips , his scent filling her nostrils . the warmth of his hands and his lean body against her . but it was the hard column of his erection pressing into her abdomen that left her in ashes . it was all the evidence she needed , all the encouragement . she transferred all her weight to her tiptoes , the subtle movement all it took to fit her lips against his . her heart leapt for joy with the simple , soft contact , and she reveled in the silky scratch of his goatee . the brush of his warm , dry lips opening against hers . but it felt too tentative , too cautious . she wanted to-hell-with-the-world passion . she wanted him to feel all the things she was feeling , the delight and the terror . how could she break the dam ? she meant to lift her arms to put them around his neck , but where they went was under his shirt , to the hot , hard flesh beneath . his muscles tensed beneath her touch and , taking that as a good sign , she did n't retreat but explored further . tracing the ridges of a six-pack and well-defined pecs . he stiffened and moaned as her fingers passed delicately over the circlets of his nipple rings , and that was all it took . the hand at the back of her head fisted in her hair and she had the crazy thought that this was a jekyll and hyde kiss . demure and passive one minute . monstrous the next . his mouth claimed hers in a burning rush , and she bent back beneath the onslaught , buffeted by sensations that had her gasping against him every time she could come up for air . his tongue invaded her mouth and coaxed hers into a sinuous dance behind her teeth . she pulled her hands away to clutch fistfuls of his t-shirt and wrenched it upward , desperate to finally bare his flesh to her sight . `` take this off , '' she pleaded against his mouth . he broke the kiss to peel off his shirt in one fluid motion , tossing it on the couch as she marveled at the tv-lit expanse of skin he revealed . it would take hours to lie down and inspect the detailed markings on his arms . she would love to have that kind of time with him . smoothing her hands over his skin , she wondered if he noticed how they trembled . when she dared a glance at his face , his eyes were closed , his head tilted back . the star on his left pectoral was a beacon for her lips , and she leaned forward and brushed it delicately . his hand clenched again in her hair and the hard line of his jaw rubbed over the top of her head . she flickered her tongue across his skin , savoring his answering groan . the rush of power was heady and intoxicating , and she gasped when he pulled her head back by her hair to brand her lips again with his . oh ... jesus . she 'd been kissed before , but never like this . there had been the guy who tried to swab her tonsils and the guy who seemed to be trying to draw blood with his teeth and the guy who did it just right , but did n't make her feel ... this . brian 's taste invaded her mouth , sensuous and dark and everything she had ever imagined . no , it was more . his tongue touched and teased hers until she melted away and leaned her knees into his in an effort to remain standing . the liquid ache between her thighs had drained all strength from the waist down . she needed him to catch her before she fell . she was sliding ... his arms swept down around her waist , strong and solid . `` i got you , '' he murmured , one hand sweeping down to cup her ass and lift her against him . she took the welcome opportunity to wrap her legs around him , grinding her crotch against his erection . it felt huge .	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then , she would go on with her life . it was n't the end-all , and she was too strong to wallow in pity . `` the ball is being held by a longtime friend of the royal family . it is to honor the fallen soldiers of our land , and is quite a big event each year . it would be a disgrace if some member of the royal family did not attend , which is why the king was so upset when he did n't think he 'd be able to make it . by bringing you here , he is announcing to the country that you are a very important part of his life , '' nico said as the car arrived in front of a stately residence . it was impressive in its old-world charm , made from stone like that used at the castle , and from exquisite marble . the driveway was lined with a canopy of lush trees , and it wound around a fountain showcasing two cupids dancing within its waters ' mist . though rachel had grown up with more money than most , she still found it all a little intimidating . this was different from what she knew . it was a world of ancient bloodlines , of authority and prestige - a world that was n't hers . rachel cast off the thoughts as she accepted nico 's hand and climbed the steps with him . soon , she 'd see adriane , soon she 'd know whether she was giving their relationship a chance , or running away . either way , she 'd be out of the quandary she 'd been in since the day he 'd told her she 'd be his wife . as they walked inside the large ballroom , rachel clung tightly to nico 's arm and looked around with insecure doe eyes , wondering where adriane was . the crowd parted , and suddenly he was there , throwing his head back and laughing at something his companion must have said . the king looked so carefree for a moment that she was rendered motionless . as if he could sense her , he turned his head , and their gazes locked . without a word to the man he 'd been conversing with , adriane moved swiftly through the crowd , his eyes never breaking contact with hers , not for even the briefest of seconds . an unsatisfied ache flared within the recesses of her womanhood as he reached her side , his gaze drifting down the feminine lines of her body . she felt as if he 'd touched her , for his look was so intense as his eyes drank in her revealing but elegant golden gown . when his gaze returned to her eyes , his expression was unreadable , and rachel wondered if she 'd just made an idiot of herself . she suddenly wanted to turn around and flee . `` my deepest apologizes for not accompanying you on your ride here . i only just arrived , '' he said as he held out his arm . did she take it and swiftly move forward on her mission , or did she bolt the way she so wanted to do ? `` nico has been a fine escort . thank you , nico , '' she said , impulsively leaning over and kissing the man 's cheek . much to her amazement , the king 's always confident adviser blushed deeply as he looked down and cleared his throat . `` the pleasure of escorting you here was all mine , '' he murmured before looking back up and smiling . `` thank you for bringing her safely , nico . you may take the rest of the night off , '' adriane said . rachel wanted to grab the man and prevent his departure , suddenly feeling safer in his presence . but the moment the words left adriane 's mouth , nico obediently turned and left her alone with the man who wanted to marry her . they were silent as adriane led her to the center of the room , where couples were floating around the floor in a traditional viennese waltz . without a word , he pulled her into his arms as the music enveloped them . rachel melted against his chest ; they spun slowly in a circle . `` i do n't know if i can last this entire event . the way you look in that dress has taken my breath away . i want nothing more right now than to take you back to the palace , carry you to my room and slowly peel the fabric away from your flushed skin and reveal your curves in all their glory . i want to bury myself inside you , and then , when it 's all over , i want to begin again , and pleasure you all through the night . '' rachel could n't say a word as she looked at the raw hunger on his face , in his eyes , and in the tenseness of his mouth , and felt his arousal pressing insistently against her stomach . after several heartbeats , she nodded her head . for a moment , he did nothing , as if he did n't know what she 'd just said to him with her silent gesture .	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this had probably contributed to the mystique that surrounded him . it did n't hurt that he was six-three , solidly built and exceptionally good-looking . heads turned anytime he walked into a room ; he commanded that kind of respect and attention . her first day on the second floor , mr. dempsey had arrived at work soon after she did and colette , standing in the corridor between his office and her own department , had greeted him . those four words would forever change the course of her career-and her life . he walked past her , with only the slightest acknowledgement of her greeting . it was then that she noticed everyone in the room watching her . she waited until christian dempsey was inside his office , then gazed around her . people simply stared . jenny , her boss , had a coffee mug half raised to her lips , her expression one of disbelief . mark taylor stood in front of a filing cabinet , shaking his head . `` why 's everyone looking at me like that ? '' jenny set the coffee down on her desk and answered in a hushed whisper , `` no one talks to mr . `` no one , '' mark reiterated . colette could n't imagine why not . he was flesh and blood like everyone else . wishing him a good day was just the polite thing to do . but when she asked about it , she did n't get a satisfactory response . jenny sputtered , `` because he 's ... because . '' and mark said , `` well , he 's very busy , you know . '' none of which , in colette 's view , justified the staff 's awed-or was it fearful ? -reaction . an hour later , she was summoned to mr. dempsey 's office by his assistant , who came to ask if she was the person who 'd greeted him that morning . her fellow workers cast her sympathetic looks as colette rose from her desk and followed dempsey 's assistant into the inner sanctum . glancing over her shoulder , she noticed that jenny was biting her lip . mark waved as if to bid her farewell . karen christie and the others shrugged mournfully . colette had n't known what to expect ... except the worst . christian was working on his computer when she was ushered into his office . his assistant announced her name and left her standing there . mr. dempsey did n't look up . consequently , colette felt like some minion called in , awaiting his notice . her mouth had gone dry and she resisted blurting out that she loved her job and did n't want to lose it . in nervous agitation she clenched her fists at her sides . when he finally deigned to glance in her direction , his eyes held hers . `` are you the one who spoke to me ? '' she probably should 've apologized but she could n't make herself do it . the thought of losing her job because she 'd been polite to her employer was ridiculous . and yet ... she and derek had made an offer on a house and needed her income to qualify for the loan . everything would fall apart if she was fired . `` why did i wish you a good morning ? '' she repeated , wanting to be sure she understood the question . he gave her a half nod . `` well , '' she murmured , `` i was just being courteous . '' `` are you new to the company ? '' `` i 've worked here for two years . '' her throat felt scratchy but she refused to let him see how nervous she was by clearing it . dempsey 's was currently the largest seattle import company and one of the biggest on the west coast . he frowned as if he did n't believe her . colette squared her shoulders . `` i received a promotion from customs clearance on the fifth floor to working as a customs broker . '' he studied her in silence , and when he spoke , she found his question surprising . `` is that a wedding band on your finger ? '' `` i was married a few months ago . '' anything she said might be considered crossing the line between professional respect and what could be perceived as excessive familiarity . `` peter is leaving my employment and i 'm looking for a personal assistant . colette slapped her hand over her heart in astonishment . `` what about hr ? should n't they be sending you people to interview ? '' only ... '' `` i prefer to hire my own assistants . now , are you interested ? '' at that point , she should have asked any number of questions ; instead , she nodded . peter will train you . i do n't know what you 're earning per hour , but from this point forward you 'll be salaried . '' he named a figure that was three times more than her current rate . colette nearly fainted . `` thank you , '' she managed to mumble . before leaving , she almost curtsied , such was christian 's effect on her .	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jocasta had no knowledge of what dougal mackenzie or the unknown man had done with their chests ; hector cameron had put the two chests he brought away into a hole in the floor of his bedroom , an old hiding place made by his father to conceal valuables . hector meant to leave it there until the prince had reached some place of safety , where he could receive the gold , and use it for the furtherance of his aims . but charles stuart was already in flight , and would not find a place to rest for many months . before he reached his final refuge , disaster intervened . `` hector left the gold-and me-at home , and went to join the prince and the army . on the seventeenth of april , he rode back into the dooryard at sunset , his horse lathered to a froth . he swung down and left the poor beast to a groom , while he rushed into the house and bade me pack what valuables i could-the cause was lost , he said , and we must flee , or die with the stuarts . '' cameron was wealthy , even then , and canny enough to have kept his coach and horses , rather than giving them to the stuart cause . canny enough , too , not to carry two chests of french gold in his flight . `` he took three bars of the gold from one of the chests , and gave them to me . i hid them under the seat of the coach ; he and the groom carried the chests awa to the wood-i didna see where they buried them . '' it was midday of april 18 , when hector cameron boarded his coach , with his wife , his groom , his daughter morna , and three bars of french bullion , and headed hell-for-leather south toward edinburgh . `` seonag was married to the master of garth-he declared early for the stuarts ; he was killed at culloden , though of course we didna know it then . clementina was widowed already , and living with her sister at rovo . '' she took a deep breath , shuddering slightly , unwilling to relive the events she recounted , unable to resist them . `` i begged hector to go to rovo . it was only ten miles out of the way-it would have taken no but a few hours-but he wouldna stop . we could not , he said . too big a risk , to take the time needed to fetch them . clementina had two children , seonag the one . too many people for the coach , he said ; it would slow us too much . `` not to bring them away , then , i said . only to warn them-only to see them once more . '' `` i kent where we were bound-we had talked of it , though i didna ken he had things in such readiness . '' hector cameron had been a jacobite , but was also a keen judge of human affairs , and no man to throw his own life after a lost cause . seeing how matters were falling out , and fearing some disaster , he had taken pains to engineer an escape . he had quietly put aside a few bags of clothing and necessities , turned what he could of his property into money , and secretly booked three open passages , from edinburgh to the colonies . `` sometimes , i think i canna blame him , '' jocasta said . she sat bolt upright , the light of the candles gleaming from her hair . `` he thought seonag wouldna go without her husband , and clementina wouldna risk her bairns at sea . perhaps he was right about that . and perhaps it would have made no difference to warn them . but i knew i shouldna see them again ... ... '' her mouth closed , and she swallowed . in any case , hector had refused to stop , fearing pursuit . cumberland 's troops had converged upon culloden , but there were english soldiers on the highland roads , and word of charles stuart 's defeat was spreading like ripples near the edge of a whirlpool , moving faster and faster , in a vortex of danger . as it was , the camerons were discovered , two days later , near ochtertyre . `` a wheel came off the coach , '' jocasta said with a sigh . `` lord , i can see it now , spinning down the road by itself . the axletree was broke , and we 'd no choice but to camp there by the road , while hector and the groom made shift to mend it . '' repairs had taken the best part of a day , and hector had grown more and more edgy as the work went on , his anxiety infecting the rest of the party . `` i didna ken then what he 'd seen at culloden , '' jocasta said . `` he kent weel enough that if the english took him , it was all up wi ' him . if they didna kill him on the spot , he 'd be hangit as a traitor . he was sweating as he worked , and more wi ' fear than with the heat of his labor .	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it 's going to be torture . there 's so much to do and take care of ! '' `` c'mon , you 'll look gorgeous . '' `` and i 'll be there . '' `` yes , you 'll be there . '' `` laughing at me and the brown monstrosity jess picked out for me to wear . '' `` cathy thinks jess missed her true calling in fashion . '' those two had been like a monster with two heads when wedding-dress shopping for jess . `` think of it as practice . '' he ran his thumb over the ring on my left hand . it always gave me tingles when he did that , to know he was part of my future . that he wanted to be a part of my future . your mother and sister have gone off the deep end . did you see what they want me to wear ? '' i shuddered as i thought about the eighteen-yard train and lace sleeves . `` the dress weighed four hundred pounds . '' `` i 'm not allowed to see the sketches , remember ? '' `` you seem to be holding your own though . cathy was grumbling about flowers and ribbon last week . she 's horrified by your lack of concern for texture . '' `` do n't get me started on the ribbons . what a stupid way to spend money . i mean , what are we going to do with all of those ribbons afterward ? '' technically the queen was footing a large chunk of the bill , but i did n't care . `` and they 're still using the whole church thing against me . i used a lot of my leverage when i insisted on getting married outside . we should 've eloped . '' `` the wedding needs to be what you want , too . '' he tilted my face up to look in my eyes . `` in the end , no matter our titles , this wedding is about us . we could run to vegas right now if that 's what you want . '' i pressed my lips to his and sighed . loved him more than i ever thought possible . he 'd become the stable point of my universe-part of my family . `` but your mom might behead me . '' `` i would n't let her . '' he tilted his head to deepen the kiss and i shifted so i could run my hands through his hair . i breathed in his smell and reveled in his taste , the knowledge that he was mine like an aphrodisiac . his phone beeped and he pulled away from me with a frown . he took it out of his suit pocket and turned it off without looking , his eyes focused on mine . i sighed , trying to not be frustrated . he stretched his legs out in front of him and pulled me close again . `` might have been important . '' i turned my face up so i could kiss his jaw . he never ignored something serious , but we tried to keep normal office hours as much as possible . otherwise we would go insane trying to keep up with everything . `` the only thing important right now is what i plan on doing to you tonight . '' he turned his head so he could capture my mouth in a slow , teasing kiss . when i leaned back to slide my hands under his suit jacket i smiled up at him . `` we have to be up early for our flight to minnesota . jess will kill me if i 'm late . '' he slid his hand up to grip the back of my neck and ran his lips over the pulse point below my ear . `` because i do n't plan on letting you get much sleep . '' i think i can cope . '' i leaned forward to bring my lips back to his , but the car stopped and i realized we were at the hotel . `` can you behave yourself until we make it to our room ? '' his eyes ran down my face and along my cl**vage . `` i can make it to the elevator , but no promises past that . '' i felt my lips pull up in a grin . `` i like it when you 're naughty , prince yummy . '' `` hold on to your tiara , duchess . '' part one `` there is only the right to recover what has been lost and found and lost again and again : and now under conditions that seem unpropitious . but perhaps neither gain nor loss . for us , there is only the trying . the rest is not our business . -t. s. elliot , from `` east coker '' chapter one an early evening rain had fallen . in the encroaching darkness , the streets of seattle lay like mirrored strips between the glittering gray high-rises . the dot-com revolution had changed this once quiet city , and even after the sun had set , the clattering , hammering sounds of construction beat a constant rhythm . buildings sprouted overnight , it seemed , reaching higher and higher into the soggy sky .	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["mothered", 613], ["motherest", 613], ["sister", 624], ["go", 634], ["goest", 634], ["gone", 634], ["deep", 647], ["deeply", 647], ["end", 651], ["ends", 651], ["endest", 651], ["see", 665], ["shudder", 708], ["shuddering", 708], ["shudderest", 708], ["shuddered", 708], ["think", 721], ["thinkest", 721], ["thought", 721], ["eighteen", 740], ["eighteens", 740], ["yard", 745], ["yards", 745], ["train", 751], ["lace", 760], ["sleeve", 768], ["sleeving", 768], ["sleeves", 768], ["weigh", 791], ["weighest", 791], ["weighed", 791], ["four", 796], ["hundred", 804], ["pound", 811], ["pounds", 811], ["allow", 836], ["allowed", 836], ["sketch", 856], ["sketches", 856], ["remember", 867], ["rememberest", 867], ["seem", 884], ["seeming", 884], ["hold", 898], ["holding", 898], ["though", 914], ["grumble", 936], ["grumbles", 936], ["grumbling", 936], ["flower", 950], ["flowers", 950], ["ribbon", 961], ["last", 966], ["week", 971], ["horrify", 990], ["horrifying", 990], ["horrified", 990], ["lack", 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["tilting", 1490], ["tilted", 1490], ["face", 1498], ["eye", 1520], ["eyed", 1520], ["eyes", 1520], ["matter", 1548], ["mattering", 1548], ["title", 1559], ["titles", 1559], ["run", 1601], ["vegas", 1610], ["right", 1616], ["rightest", 1616], ["press", 1660], ["pressed", 1660], ["lip", 1668], ["lipped", 1668], ["lips", 1668], ["sigh", 1686], ["sighest", 1686], ["sighed", 1686], ["love", 1694], ["loved", 1694], ["ever", 1715], ["everest", 1715], ["possible", 1732], ["become", 1747], ["stable", 1758], ["point", 1764], ["universe", 1779], ["universes", 1779], ["family", 1797], ["mom", 1815], ["moms", 1815], ["may", 1821], ["mays", 1821], ["mayest", 1821], ["might", 1821], ["behead", 1828], ["beheadest", 1828], ["beheading", 1828], ["let", 1855], ["lets", 1855], ["head", 1883], ["deepen", 1893], ["kiss", 1902], ["kisses", 1902], ["kissest", 1902], ["shift", 1916], ["shifted", 1916], ["hand", 1940], ["hands", 1940], ["hair", 1957], ["breathe", 1970], ["breathes", 1970], ["breathed", 1970], ["smell", 1983], ["smelt", 1983], ["smellest", 1983], ["revel", 1995], ["reveling", 1995], ["revelling", 1995], ["taste", 2008], ["knowledge", 2024], ["aphrodisiac", 2061], ["phone", 2073], ["beep", 2080], ["beeps", 2080], ["beeped", 2080], ["pull", 2094], ["pulled", 2094], ["away", 2099], ["frown", 2120], ["frowns", 2120], ["take", 2130], ["took", 2130], ["suit", 2149], ["suited", 2149], ["pocket", 2156], ["pocketing", 2156], ["turn", 2167], ["turned", 2167], ["without", 2182], ["look", 2190], ["looking", 2190], ["focus", 2209], ["focused", 2209], ["try", 2237], ["tryed", 2237], ["trying", 2237], ["frustrate", 2258], ["frustrated", 2258], ["stretch", 2273], ["stretched", 2273], ["leg", 2282], ["legs", 2282], ["front", 2295], ["close", 2322], ["important", 2359], ["jaw", 2408], ["jaws", 2408], ["jawed", 2408], ["jawest", 2408], ["never", 2419], ["ignore", 2427], ["ignored", 2427], ["serious", 2445], ["try", 2460], ["tryed", 2460], ["tried", 2460], ["keep", 2468], ["keepest", 2468], ["normal", 2475], ["office", 2482], ["hour", 2488], ["hours", 2488], ["otherwise", 2520], ["go", 2532], ["goest", 2532], ["insane", 2539], ["everything", 2573], ["plan", 2628], ["tonight", 2652], ["capture", 2696], ["mouth", 2705], ["mouthed", 2705], ["slow", 2715], ["teasing", 2725], ["lean", 2746], ["leans", 2746], ["leaned", 2746], ["back", 2751], ["slid", 2760], ["jacket", 2791], ["jacketed", 2791], ["smile", 2800], ["smiled", 2800], ["early", 2838], ["flight", 2853], ["minnesota", 2866], ["kill", 2883], ["late", 2899], ["lates", 2899], ["slid", 2912], ["grip", 2932], ["neck", 2952], ["necked", 2952], ["pulse", 2984], ["ear", 3003], ["let", 3041], ["lets", 3041], ["letting", 3041], ["slept", 3060], ["sleep", 3060], ["sleeps", 3060], ["sleepest", 3060], ["cope", 3084], ["coped", 3084], ["forward", 3106], ["forwardest", 3106], ["forwarding", 3106], ["bring", 3115], ["car", 3149], ["stop", 3157], ["stopped", 3157], ["realize", 3172], ["realized", 3172], ["hotel", 3193], ["behave", 3213], ["behaved", 3213], ["behaving", 3213], ["room", 3251], ["roomed", 3251], ["along", 3292], ["elevator", 3339], ["promise", 3357], ["promises", 3357], ["past", 3362], ["feel", 3379], ["felt", 3379], ["pull", 3392], ["grin", 3405], ["naughty", 3441], ["naughtier", 3441], ["naughtiest", 3441], ["prince", 3450], ["yummy", 3456], ["hold", 3469], ["tiara", 3486], ["tiaras", 3486], ["duchess", 3496], ["recover", 3548], ["lose", 3567], ["lost", 3567], ["find", 3577], ["found", 3577], ["condition", 3629], ["conditions", 3629], ["unpropitious", 3652], ["perhaps", 3666], ["neither", 3674], ["gain", 3679], ["loss", 3688], ["rest", 3735], ["business", 3755], ["elliot", 3771], ["east", 3786], ["coker", 3792], ["chapter", 3803], ["evening", 3824], ["rain", 3829], ["fall", 3840], ["falls", 3840], ["fallen", 3840], ["encroach", 3861], ["encroaching", 3861], ["darkness", 3870], ["street", 3884], ["streets", 3884], ["seattle", 3895], ["lay", 3899], ["lie", 3899], ["lain", 3899], ["mirror", 3913], ["mirrored", 3913], ["strip", 3920], ["strips", 3920], ["glitter", 3943], ["glittering", 3943], ["gray", 3948], ["grays", 3948], ["high", 3953], ["rise", 3959], ["risen", 3959], ["rises", 3959], ["dot", 3969], ["dotted", 3969], ["com", 3973], ["comest", 3973], ["revolution", 3984], ["change", 3996], ["changed", 3996], ["quiet", 4012], ["city", 4017], ["even", 4028], ["evens", 4028], ["sun", 4042], ["suns", 4042], ["sunned", 4042], ["set", 4050], ["hammer", 4079], ["hammering", 4079], ["sound", 4086], ["sounds", 4086], ["construction", 4102], ["beat", 4107], ["constant", 4118], ["rhythm", 4125], ["rhythms", 4125], ["build", 4137], ["building", 4137], ["buildings", 4137], ["sprout", 4146], ["sprouted", 4146], ["overnight", 4156], ["overnights", 4156], ["seem", 4168], ["seeming", 4168], ["seemed", 4168], ["reach", 4179], ["reaching", 4179], ["high", 4186], ["soggy", 4212], ["soggiest", 4212], ["sky", 4216]]
will you please stop bitching at me for once ? '' `` we 're on a budget . we agreed - `` `` oh . we 're on a budget . '' `` we agreed that - `` `` we have money to feed pat . we have money to buy pat a new wardrobe . we have money to buy pat a home gym . we have money for pat 's medications . well then , the way i see it , we have money for a new fucking television set too . '' i hear my mother 's footsteps exit the family room . just before my father turns up the game again , i hear her stomp up the steps to her bedroom , where i know she will cry because my father has cursed at her again . and it 's my fault their money is stretched . i do sit-ups on the stomach master 6000 until it is time to run with tiffany . when i finally go upstairs , i see that dad 's television set is one of those new flat-screen models they advertised when we watched the eagles play houston , and it is literally almost the size of our dining-room table . it 's huge ; only the center third rests on the end table , making it look as if it is balanced very carefully , as if the whole thing might topple when the heater vents begin to blow later this fall . even still , while i do feel bad about mom , i have to admit that the picture quality is excellent and the speakers set up on stands behind the couch fill the house with sound , making it seem as though the college football game is being played in our family room - and i start to look forward to watching the eagles on the new set , thinking the players will almost appear life-size . i stand behind the couch for a second , admiring my father 's new television , hoping he will acknowledge my presence . i even say , `` dad , did you get a new television ? '' he is mad at my mom for questioning his purchase , so now he will sulk . he will not talk to anyone for the rest of the day , i know from experience , so i leave the house and find tiffany jogging up and down the street . tiffany and i run together , but we do not talk . when i return home , tiffany keeps jogging without even saying goodbye , and as i jog up the driveway to the back door , mother 's car is gone . the `` pat '' box by 11:00 p.m. my mother has not returned home , and i start to worry because every night at 10:45 p.m . i 'm supposed to take pills that help me sleep . it is n't like mom to foul up my medication schedule . i knock on my parents ' bedroom door . when no one answers , i push the door open . my father is sleeping with the small bedroom television on . the blue glow makes his skin look alien - he sort of looks like a big fish in a lit aquarium , only without gills , scales , and fins . i walk over to my dad and shake his shoulder lightly . i shake him a little harder . he says without opening his eyes . he is lying on his side , and the left side of his mouth is smashed into the pillow . `` mom 's not home yet . still , he does not say anything . do you think we should call the police ? '' i wait for a reply , but only hear my father snoring softly . after turning off the television , i leave my parents ' bedroom and go downstairs to the kitchen . i tell myself if dad is n't worried , i should n't be either . but i know it is n't like mom to leave me alone without telling me where she will be , especially without talking to me about my medications . i open the kitchen cabinet and take out the eight bottles of pills that all have my name printed on the labels . so many long , depressing drug names are on the labels as well , but i only know the pills by their colors , so i open all the lids and look for what i need . two white-and-reds for sleeping , and also a green one with a yellow stripe , but i do not know what the green one with a yellow stripe does . maybe antianxiety ? i take all three pills because i want to sleep , and also , i know that is what mom would want me to do . maybe mom is testing me . since my father talked down to her earlier today , i really want to please mom even more than on regular days , although i am not sure why . i lie in bed wondering where mom could be . i want to call her cell phone , but i do n't know the number . maybe she had a car accident ? maybe she had a stroke or a heart attack ? but then i think a police officer or a hospital doctor would have called us by now if any of those things had happened , because she would certainly have her credit cards and license on her . maybe she got lost while driving ?	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583], ["cursed", 583], ["fault", 617], ["faulting", 617], ["stretch", 642], ["stretched", 642], ["sat", 653], ["sit", 653], ["stomach", 672], ["stomachs", 672], ["stomaching", 672], ["master", 679], ["time", 701], ["run", 708], ["tiffany", 721], ["finally", 738], ["go", 741], ["goest", 741], ["upstairs", 750], ["dad", 767], ["flat", 810], ["screen", 817], ["screening", 817], ["model", 824], ["models", 824], ["advertise", 840], ["advertised", 840], ["watch", 856], ["watched", 856], ["eagle", 867], ["eagles", 867], ["play", 872], ["playest", 872], ["houston", 880], ["literally", 902], ["almost", 909], ["size", 918], ["table", 943], ["tabled", 943], ["tabling", 943], ["huge", 956], ["center", 974], ["third", 980], ["rest", 986], ["rests", 986], ["end", 997], ["ends", 997], ["endest", 997], ["look", 1020], ["balance", 1041], ["balanced", 1041], ["carefully", 1056], ["whole", 1074], ["wholes", 1074], ["thing", 1080], ["may", 1086], ["mays", 1086], ["mayest", 1086], ["might", 1086], ["topple", 1093], ["heater", 1109], ["vent", 1115], ["vents", 1115], ["begin", 1121], ["blew", 1129], ["blow", 1129], ["blowest", 1129], ["later", 1135], ["fall", 1145], ["falls", 1145], ["even", 1152], ["evens", 1152], ["still", 1158], ["feel", 1176], ["bad", 1180], ["mom", 1190], ["moms", 1190], ["admit", 1208], ["picture", 1225], ["quality", 1233], ["excellent", 1246], ["speaker", 1263], ["speakers", 1263], ["stood", 1280], ["stand", 1280], ["standest", 1280], ["stands", 1280], ["behind", 1287], ["couch", 1297], ["couchest", 1297], ["fill", 1302], ["fills", 1302], ["house", 1312], ["sound", 1323], ["seem", 1340], ["seeming", 1340], ["though", 1350], ["college", 1362], ["football", 1371], ["play", 1392], ["playest", 1392], ["played", 1392], ["start", 1425], ["forward", 1441], ["forwardest", 1441], ["forwarding", 1441], ["watch", 1453], ["watching", 1453], ["think", 1490], ["thinkest", 1490], ["thinking", 1490], ["players", 1502], ["appear", 1521], ["life", 1526], ["lifes", 1526], ["stood", 1541], ["stand", 1541], ["standest", 1541], ["second", 1571], ["seconded", 1571], ["admire", 1582], ["admiring", 1582], ["hope", 1619], ["hoping", 1619], ["acknowledge", 1639], ["presence", 1651], ["say", 1664], ["sayest", 1664], ["get", 1687], ["mad", 1719], ["mads", 1719], ["question", 1745], ["questioning", 1745], ["purchase", 1758], ["sulk", 1780], ["sulking", 1780], ["sulkest", 1780], ["talk", 1799], ["anyone", 1809], ["rest", 1822], ["day", 1833], ["experience", 1858], ["experienced", 1858], ["left", 1871], ["leave", 1871], ["find", 1890], ["jog", 1906], ["jogs", 1906], ["jogging", 1906], ["street", 1929], ["together", 1958], ["return", 1995], ["returnest", 1995], ["keep", 2016], ["keepest", 2016], ["keeps", 2016], ["without", 2032], ["say", 2044], ["sayest", 2044], ["saying", 2044], ["goodbye", 2052], ["goodbyes", 2052], ["jog", 2067], ["jogs", 2067], ["driveway", 2083], ["back", 2095], ["door", 2100], ["car", 2116], ["go", 2124], ["goest", 2124], ["gone", 2124], ["box", 2144], ["boxed", 2144], ["return", 2185], ["returnest", 2185], ["returned", 2185], ["worry", 2213], ["worried", 2213], ["every", 2227], ["night", 2233], ["suppose", 2262], ["supposed", 2262], ["take", 2270], ["pill", 2276], ["pills", 2276], ["help", 2286], ["helpest", 2286], ["slept", 2295], ["sleep", 2295], ["sleeps", 2295], ["sleepest", 2295], ["like", 2312], ["foul", 2324], ["fouling", 2324], ["medication", 2341], ["schedule", 2350], ["knock", 2360], ["knocks", 2360], ["knockest", 2360], ["parent", 2374], ["parents", 2374], ["answer", 2411], ["answeres", 2411], ["answerest", 2411], ["answers", 2411], ["push", 2420], ["open", 2434], ["slept", 2458], ["sleep", 2458], ["sleeps", 2458], ["sleepest", 2458], ["sleeping", 2458], ["small", 2473], ["blue", 2506], ["glow", 2511], ["glowest", 2511], ["skin", 2526], ["alien", 2537], ["sort", 2547], ["look", 2556], ["looks", 2556], ["big", 2567], ["bigs", 2567], ["fish", 2572], ["fishes", 2572], ["fishest", 2572], ["lit", 2581], ["light", 2581], ["aquarium", 2590], ["gill", 2611], ["gills", 2611], ["scale", 2620], ["scales", 2620], ["fin", 2631], ["fins", 2631], ["walk", 2640], ["shake", 2665], ["shoulder", 2678], ["shouldered", 2678], ["lightly", 2686], ["little", 2709], ["hard", 2716], ["say", 2726], ["sayest", 2726], ["says", 2726], ["open", 2742], ["eye", 2751], ["eyed", 2751], ["eyes", 2751], ["lay", 2765], ["lie", 2765], ["lain", 2765], ["lying", 2765], ["side", 2777], ["sidest", 2777], ["left", 2792], ["mouth", 2810], ["mouthed", 2810], ["smash", 2821], ["smashed", 2821], ["pillow", 2837], ["yet", 2862], ["anything", 2897], ["think", 2912], ["thinkest", 2912], ["call", 2927], ["police", 2938], ["wait", 2950], ["waitest", 2950], ["reply", 2962], ["snore", 2996], ["snoring", 2996], ["softly", 3003], ["turn", 3019], ["turning", 3019], ["downstairs", 3087], ["kitchen", 3102], ["kitchens", 3102], ["tell", 3111], ["either", 3165], ["alone", 3215], ["tell", 3231], ["telling", 3231], ["especially", 3265], ["talk", 3281], ["talking", 3281], ["cabinet", 3337], ["eight", 3360], ["bottle", 3368], ["bottled", 3368], ["bottles", 3368], ["name", 3399], ["print", 3407], ["printed", 3407], ["label", 3421], ["labels", 3421], ["many", 3431], ["long", 3436], ["longs", 3436], ["depress", 3449], ["depressed", 3449], ["depressing", 3449], ["drug", 3454], ["name", 3460], ["names", 3460], ["color", 3530], ["colors", 3530], ["lid", 3555], ["lids", 3555], ["need", 3580], ["needest", 3580], ["two", 3586], ["twos", 3586], ["white", 3592], ["red", 3601], ["reds", 3601], ["also", 3625], ["green", 3633], ["greens", 3633], ["yellow", 3651], ["stripe", 3658], ["maybe", 3731], ["antianxiety", 3743], ["three", 3762], ["test", 3872], ["since", 3883], ["talk", 3900], ["talked", 3900], ["early", 3920], ["today", 3926], ["really", 3937], ["regular", 3982], ["regulars", 3982], ["day", 3987], ["days", 3987], ["although", 3998], ["sure", 4012], ["lay", 4024], ["lie", 4024], ["lain", 4024], ["bed", 4031], ["wonder", 4041], ["wonderest", 4041], ["wondering", 4041], ["cell", 4086], ["phone", 4092], ["number", 4123], ["numbering", 4123], ["accident", 4154], ["stroke", 4179], ["heart", 4190], ["attack", 4197], ["officer", 4233], ["officering", 4233], ["hospital", 4247], ["doctor", 4254], ["doctoring", 4254], ["doctorest", 4254], ["call", 4272], ["called", 4272], ["thing", 4305], ["things", 4305], ["happen", 4318], ["happened", 4318], ["certainly", 4348], ["credit", 4364], ["card", 4370], ["cards", 4370], ["license", 4382], ["get", 4405], ["got", 4405], ["lose", 4410], ["lost", 4410], ["drive", 4424], ["driving", 4424]]
while bending across her to secure her seat belt , she reached out and grabbed his head , catching him off guard and pulling until her lips whispered over his . shane tried to pull back , but the sweet taste of lia 's mouth on his tongue melted his resolve . he pressed harder against her until she let out a cry . only then did he remember her cut and bruised lip . `` much more should happen , shane . i know you want me , and i - it 's just that my lip is throbbing , and my head is about to explode , '' she responded , cringing . shane gently shut the door , hoping to minimize the sound , and rushed around to the driver 's side . jumping into the car , he started the engine and made his way more carefully back down the gravel road . he wanted to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible , but did n't want the jarring road to make her feel worse . halfway down the road , lia 's hand crept over to his thigh , making him hit the gas too hard and causing him to swerve into a bush before he managed to gain control over the vehicle again . `` if you want us to make it to town in one piece , do n't do that , lia , '' shane groaned through his tightly locked jaw . he was worse than slime to be lusting after his best friend 's sister , especially when she was not only hurt , but also obviously drugged . shane figured there was a special place waiting for him in the depths of hell if he did n't pull himself together . he did n't want to ask , but he needed to know whether the men had done anything other than rip her clothes and slug her in the face . trying to hold back the bile rising in his throat , he looked over before speaking . `` lia , did they ... um , did i get there in time ? '' he asked hoarsely , unable to say what he feared . it took a moment for her to understand , then her eyes widened as she seemed to realize the amount of danger she 'd placed herself in . `` yes , you did , shane , '' she whispered before turning away . the fear in his gut would n't dissipate . what if she was lying to him out of embarrassment ? `` you know you can tell me the truth , right ? '' when lia did n't respond , shane looked over and found her passed out against his seat . with new urgency , he floored the gas as soon as he was on solid pavement again . he could n't reach the hospital fast enough . chapter five ari did n't want to feel the sweet anticipation of what was to come , but she could n't control her hormones . she wanted to hate rafe , she even planned to hate him , but as he opened the door to their suite , all she felt was lust - pure unadulterated lust . how far she 'd fallen from the prim , repressed , bookish female she 'd been not a year ago , someone who 'd worried that she might be frigid . he 'd opened a door that she could n't shut no matter how hard she tried , and now it seemed her appetite was insatiable . the clicking of the hotel room door made her jump . they were all alone for the first time since she 'd set foot on that jet . nerves began to take complete mastery over her body as she made her way across the entryway into the huge living room area . her tiny apartment would n't fill even a quarter of the space of the giant suite . ari understood rafe 's desire to have the best in life , but was n't this a bit pretentious for a temporary visit ? yet the huge windows were calling her name as she made her way across the plush carpet , and she could n't contain a gasp at the view . especially after her mother 's grave injuries and then near-fatal cancer , this was a place ari had thought she 'd see only in the movies . and yet , here she was , almost in touching distance . she noticed a telescope to her right and quickly put the eyepiece over her eye , clueless to what she 'd see , but not caring . she just wanted to feel truly in new york city for the first time . ari squinted as she peered out at the park and to her delight saw a few people strolling down the walk , several couples walking hand in hand , and a group of kids with glow sticks all over their clothes performing a dance . she wanted to run down the stairs and join in , but she knew there was no way rafe was leaving the room now . ***** rafe watched with amusement as ari 's enthusiasm for a city he 'd been to numerous times practically leaped off her . she pivoted from one foot to the other , and held on tightly to the telescope as she did her best to see everything at once . after pouring himself a glass of bourbon , he sat on the couch and watched her play with the telescope until she was satisfied with the settings .	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`` poor jason , he was so emotionally distraught over what happened to you . his concern even manifested itself physically . '' `` the poor boy was ghostly white . coach singleton had to stop him from practicing , he missed school one day and i sent him home early once . i was really worried for him . '' did he tell you we talkedright here , like you and i do ? '' `` well , it 's difficult for boys to show vulnerabilityi know , it 's silly , but none-the-less , the truth . honestly though , i think the entire schoolcommunity was afraid for you . '' no one outside of a few people even knew me except for as jason 's girlfriend . `` i 'm nervous about class . '' i nodded , but hesitated . `` i know this is difficulti ca n't begin to imagine what it was like for you , but i know my students and they only want to help . '' it 's the stares , the questions , and well the assumptions . '' `` i guess there will be all of that . '' `` do you remember when you first started school here last year ? '' i replied , puzzled by the question . `` were n't there , stares , questions and assumptions ? '' `` sure , i guess , but i did n't care then . '' ms. moore 's concern was slowly replaced with a broad smileit lit up her face . `` you have come so faropened up so much since we first met . now then , it 's perfectly natural for you to be apprehensive , but like i said , i think i know my students pretty well . are you afraid you 're not ready yet ? '' `` i do n't know , i guess that 's part of it . '' i 'd been so focused on dealing with the human element i had n't really though much about dealing with well , the human element . `` tell you what , if you begin to feel like it 's too much , you just excuse yourself from class and come and see me . '' i followed her lead and we both stood . it was obvious she wanted to hug me , but refrained . `` i 'm so glad you 're okay , izzy . you 've become such an important part of our school and well , an important part of my life . '' i gave her a quick hug being careful not to touch any skin or make my strength apparent . ms. moore started crying . `` thanks again , '' i said , `` see ya . '' jason and cathy were waiting in the front office , alex had joined them , and beyond the windows , a small crowd had gathered in the hallway . `` it 's okay , '' jason said , putting his arm around me . ms. moore was standing in her doorway and nodded . jason and i started toward the door , with cathy and alex right behind us . the kids stepped back as jason opened the door . i could n't help myself and looked for the closest escape route , just in case , as we stepped into the hallway . a kid i did n't know said . and an echo of welcomes began from those around us . jason was right , everyone was smiling . i looked at the first kid that spokea girl . jason made a small gesture with his hand before wrapping his arm around my shoulder . as if it were some kind of signal , the kids started drifting off in different directions . even so , everyone we passed , welcomed me back . i got my books , and we started for mrs. burns classmy first period . `` that guy so did her , '' a voice behind me muttered , `` and i bet she wanted it . '' i turnedit was dillon . he glared at me like he knew i heard him and did n't care . `` you 'll be here after class ? '' `` yep , no place i 'd rather be . '' there were only a few students inside . `` okay , see you after class . '' i took a breath and walked into the classroom . * * * i sat back in the bleachers and recapped my first day back at school . i managed just fine as far as my thirst went , but i kind of knew that would be the case . like i said , if i could manage jason humanity would be no problem . the kids were nice , maybe too nice , but i was grateful . i figured in a few days , everything would fall back into a normal routine . i looked up when i heard footsteps on the bleachers . `` cathy , what are you doing out here , you 'll freeze . '' she waited until she reached the top and sat down next to me before she replied . `` alex said i might want to see some of practice . '' i bet coach singleton was glad to see you back . '' `` yeah , everyone 's been extra nice . '' `` sounds like there 's a 'but ' in there . '' `` oh hey , here they come . 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i drew up the paperwork and everything , and then he got sicker . i guess he thought he would tell you when you all got together . but he didnt have time , grace murmured , putting her key back into the envelope . he wanted you all to be together again , riley said with a nod . i think thats most of it . and he wanted you all to have the house . lets eat , he suggested . then ill tell you the rest of what i know . chapter 3 when maddy woke the next morning , it took several long moments to orient herself . she was in serenity falls again . after almost ten years , years in which shed been too afraid to return , she was here . she walked to the mahogany dresser in graces guest room and grabbed her brush off the top , examining herself in the round mirror . she lifted the ends of her chocolate brown hair and frowned . not enough time to get her hair cut . after shed sold the house , shed come here as quickly as she could . maddy settled her nerves by winding her hair into a long braid that flopped over her shoulder . serenity falls may feel like home , and one of her closest friends still lived here , but it didnt mean her history here didnt still hold painful memories . maddy started to turn , but her eyes caught on a photograph at the corner of the dresser . her lips curved in a smile . it was a picture of her , kara , and grace the first summer after the three of them had met . one of the greatest summers of her life . shed also met mr. moore , graces grandfather and shed discovered the youth center , her home away from home . and thus had been the beginning of the new madisonor maddy lynn as her new friends often called her . madison from the broken home , daughter of an alcoholic father , had become maddy , a young woman who wanted more for her life than what she was seemingly destined for . how strange that destiny had brought her back to serenity falls . back to grace and her charming brother riley . and an unexplained silver key the smell of bacon wafted into the room . maddy left her memories and uncertainties in the room and joined her friend in the tiny kitchen . sunday morning buffet , grace told her , offering a contagious smile . memory crept in , warming her heart . sunday morning buffet had been a tradition a full decade ago . every sunday morning , kara and maddy would join grace and grandpa moore at his house for breakfast . theyd each help fix something and then theyd eat an eclectic meal before the four of them would head off to the youth center together for volunteer day . she seated herself at the round table next to the window and eyed the wide spread grace had put together . fruit and toast , grace said pointing , and eggs , bacon , and pancakes . you went all out . as if it were natural to pick up where theyd left off . she set a glass of orange juice in front of maddy . so eat a lot because somehow just the two of us have to finish all this . maddy unfolded her napkin . its weird having breakfast without kara here . grace speared a piece of cantaloupe with her fork . its been a long time since weve done this . maddy tried not to let the guilt get to her . shed been in touch with both grace and kara over the years but keeping up their friendship had been toughand keeping up traditions impossible . she said shed come , though , grace continued . if she knows grandpa moore wanted her here , shell come . im sorry i wasnt here for the funeral . grace met her eyes and ran a hand across her tousled blonde hair . she looked like a little girl despite her gray slacks and soft black sweater . pink slippers peeked out from under the table . i know what you were dealing with , grace replied . it had already been over a year . and there went the guilt again . why couldnt she have been stronger ? grace wouldnt have fallen apart like she had . maddy , grandpa knew what was going on in your life . like riley said , thats probably why he didnt tell us sooner about the house . and you being here for the funeral wouldnt have bothered him . its being here now that he wouldve wanted . but for you , maddy protested . and , you know ... grandpa knew it was his time . he was fine with it , so we were , too . maddy tried a smile but her lips wouldnt move . she couldnt accept it as easily . after davids death , loneliness had crept up on her with claws that dug in and held tight . shed only recently started to believe she could move on , that life went on . and now grandpa moore she swallowed and asked grace , why did grandpa moore want the three of us to have the house together ?	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a hot denial sprung up inside her , settling between her legs , and she wondered if she was fending him off or just baiting the bear . `` you 're my guards . you 're supposed to keep my body safe , not touch me . you are n't my guards . i 'm firing you right now . you ca n't talk to me like that . '' `` we are your guards , according to tal . he signs our paychecks . and i 'm going to talk to you this way a lot from now on . we 're not going to let you dismiss us anymore . there 's something between all of us . chemistry like this does n't happen often , and i 'll be damned if i let you keep shoving that aside just because you 're too scared to see where it leads , princess . '' dane 's voice sizzled over her skin , an unavoidable reminder of the heat scorching through her . landon was suddenly behind her , his voice a hot whisper on the nape of her neck . `` i ca n't just walk away from it . i want you to work with us to make this whole thing good . '' alea stifled a moan bubbling in her throat at the feel of them so close . `` there 's no 'thing . ' '' she 'd meant for that statement to come out in a firm voice , but it just sounded breathy and sensual . they were n't touching her , but for the first time , she wanted them to . she 'd lost it last night when coop had grabbed her just before ... what if she 'd kept her head ? what if they took everything really slowly ? maybe she was n't totally broken and her body could actually respond if they told her what they planned to do , prepared her mentally first . `` there 's more than a little something between us , baby , '' coop said , sitting up now , his previous laziness shoved aside . `` it 's real , and we 've all been dodging it . dane 's words sounded like a vow . `` so now i 'm going to tell you exactly what i want to do . '' the desire shimmering from those blue eyes made something in her belly jump and tighten . if what he had to say was half as hot as his face suggested , she would n't be able to handle it . i 'll sit back down . '' `` ah , we 're back to bargaining . '' dane 's hair was just the slightest bit shaggy , and she loved the way it curled around his ears as he looked down at her . `` i think we have another couple of minutes before takeoff , so i 'll elaborate . first , i want to look at your brsts , alea . i want you to take your shirt off and show them to me . i want you to cup them with your hands and offer them up . '' she shook her head even as the heat inside her surged . `` he 'll tell you how beautiful they are , '' landon continued . we 'll sit and watch them for a minute because none of us will be able to take our eyes off you and your gorgeous , full brsts . '' they 're small . '' why was she talking about herself ? she should be shoving them away and firming up boundaries . but no , she was standing there and arguing over the size of her brsts . and practically feeling dane 's hands on her , even though he was n't touching her . they 're the perfect size , baby . they 'll fit right in the palm of my hand . i do n't think i 've ever seen brsts as beautiful as yours . tell me something , princess . did cooper get his mouth on those nples last night ? '' she shivered , remembering everywhere cooper had put his mouth . `` i barely touched her brsts . i just ate that psy like it was the tastiest treat i 've ever had . '' cooper edged closer to her . `` you tasted so good , baby . i 've had a hard-on ever since , and no amount of masturbion satisfies my cock . the idea of cooper touching himself while he thought of her sent another wave of arousal through alea . she actually wanted to touch him , to see and feel him all over . their words were turning her into a woman she did n't know , one who ached to do and feel everything they murmured in her ear . would they let her explore without asking for anything in return ? men seemed geared to take from women . these three had proven they could be polite and kind , but she was sure in the bedroom , dane , lan , and coop would be like other men . but ... what if , like coop 's mouth on her , that could actually feel good ? `` i want to suck your n**ples , alea . '' lan 's voice was softer than she could ever remember . `` i 'll be so gentle .	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an expression of relief filled his eyes . `` i found a body . '' nic grabbed a pencil and a sheet of paper . `` out on the old highway . anderson homestead . '' nic and i exchanged glances . `` where sheriff stephenson 's body was found ? '' exactly where his body was found . '' `` a second body ? left in the same place . '' `` not left . the grave was dug up . '' `` grave desecration , '' i muttered , and smacked myself in the forehead . my only excuse for not seeing the connection earlier was that i 'd been focused on finding an ojibwe warrior 's grave , not that i would have known what one looked like even if i 'd seen it . `` the reason the sheriff was at the old anderson place was that there 'd been a report of a grave desecration . '' i turned toward the mountain man . `` but we did n't see anything disturbed . '' from the paw prints in the dirt , i 'd say dogs . '' but doubtful . `` they probably could n't help themselves , '' he continued . `` the body was pretty fresh . '' `` you mean skeleton , '' nic said . definitely a body . newly dead . i 'd say no more than a week or two . '' `` could you guess at a cause of death ? '' `` i 'm thinking the large , gaping knife wound at the throat had something to do with it . '' `` i 've seen a few . '' nic and i exchanged glances again . i really did n't want to know where this guy had seen death by knife wound to the throat . `` we need to get another me from ... anywhere , '' nic muttered . `` we have to find out who was in the grave . '' `` a woman , '' mountain man stated in a dry , clinical tone . `` native american . pretty old . '' nic muttered at the same time i kicked the desk . mountain man stared at us as if we 'd lost our minds . nic ushered him to the door . `` we 'll send someone out as soon as - `` `` we find someone , '' i said . nic closed the door and turned to me . `` i guess an ojibwe warrior is n't necessarily a man . '' i 'm betting it 's cora . '' `` lydia said she passed away . '' there 'd been no mention of throat cutting - an item that would have topped my list in any conversation about a dead grandmother . `` lydia said a lot of things , '' i pointed out . `` we 'd better talk to her . '' gramma passing away is a whole lot different than gramma getting her throat slit and being buried in the woods . '' `` why would dr. watchry insist there 'd never been a murder in fairhaven ? '' `` perhaps cora did n't die in fairhaven . '' `` who knows anymore ? '' `` did you get a read on lydia ? '' `` she seemed nice enough . '' `` i meant , did you bump against her when you passed or at least shake her hand ? '' `` you think she 's a - `` `` someone is . '' i went over the meeting with lydia in my mind . never thought to . '' nic 's face hardened . `` let 's go touch her now . '' `` that was a bust , '' i muttered . we 'd gone to lydia 's without calling first - no reason to give her a heads-up - but she had n't been there . so we 'd driven to the crime scene . mountain man 's description had been correct . ancient native american woman with a throat wound . lots of paw prints . but not from a dog . there were also old bones mixed in with the earth , which led us to believe the grave had not been cora 's originally . had she even been there when the sheriff was killed ? had he been killed because he found her ? nic spent a lot of time on his cell phone asking hypothetical questions of fbi contacts . he 'd even managed to get a hold of basil once . the new sheriff promised to find another me , somewhere , and send him to the crime scene . he also promised to send someone to deal with the doctor 's body . then as soon as nic got to the interesting questions - bam - basil 's cell phone went out . when nic tried to call him again , all he got was a busy signal . we drove into fairhaven as night threatened . a car was parked in front of the cabin . i caught sight of lydia walking around the far side of the building . `` looks like she got your message , '' i said , as we followed . `` miss kopway , '' i greeted , just as she knocked on the back door . i went to the front , but no one answered , so - `` she shrugged . nic and i climbed the porch and i offered my hand .	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please , rose . i 'm not all that into it either , but my mom 's making me go , and i 'd really like it if you were there with me . '' elite and bloodline were warning words to me . `` will there be other dhampirs there ? '' he then added quickly , `` but i made arrangements for some people you 'll approve of to be there . it 'll make it better for both of us . '' if ever there was an esteemed bloodline , hers was it . i just ran into her at the medical center . her reaction was about like yours . '' it also piqued my interest . i wanted to talk to her more about what had happened during her visit to dimitri and knew she 'd been avoiding me because of it . if going to some silly royal ritual or whatever it was could get me to her , then so much the better . `` people you 'll like . '' be mysterious . i 'll go to your cult meeting . '' that earned me a return smile . `` hardly a cult , little dhampir . it really is a way to pay last respects to the people killed in that fight . '' he reached out and ran a hand along my cheek . `` and i 'm glad ... god , i 'm so glad you were n't one of them . you do n't know ... . '' his voice caught , the flippant smile trembling for a moment before stabilizing again . `` you do n't know how worried i was . every minute you were gone , every minute i did n't know what had happened to you ... it was agony . and even after i heard you were okay , i kept asking everyone at the medical center what they knew . had they seen you fight , did you get hurt ... '' i felt a lump in my throat . i had n't been able to see adrian when i 'd returned , but i should have sent a message , at least . i squeezed his hand and tried to make a joke of something that really was n't funny . that i was a badass ? '' they could n't stop talking about how amazing you were in battle . word got back to aunt tatiana too about what you did , and even she was impressed . '' i started to ask more , but his next words brought me up short . `` i also heard you were yelling at anyone you could to find out about belikov . and that you were beating down the guardians ' doors this morning . '' i ... look , i 'm sorry , but i had to -- '' `` hey , hey . '' his voice was heavy and earnest . `` look , it 's not like i did n't expect this if he came back . '' i glanced back at him hesitantly , studying his serious expression . i remember what you said before ... . '' he nodded , then gave me another rueful smile . `` of course , i did n't actually expect any of this to work . lissa tried to explain the magic she used ... but good god . i do n't think i could ever do anything like she did . '' `` do you believe he 's no longer strigoi ? '' lissa said he 's not , and i believe her . and i saw him from a distance out in the sun . but i 'm not sure it 's a good idea for you to try to see him . '' `` that 's your jealousy talking . '' i had absolutely no right to sound accusing , considering the way my heart was all tangled up over dimitri . `` of course it 's jealousy , '' said adrian nonchalantly . the former love of your life comes back -- from the dead , no less . that 's not something i 'm really excited about . but i do n't blame you for feeling confused . '' `` i told you before -- '' `` i know , i know . '' adrian did n't sound particularly upset . in fact , there was a surprisingly patient tone in his voice . `` i know you said him coming back would n't affect things between us . but saying one thing before it happens and then actually having that thing happen are two different things . '' i asked , kind of confused . `` i want you , rose . '' he squeezed my hand more tightly . i 'd like to be like other guys and say i want to take care of you too , but ... well . when it comes down to it , you 'd probably be the one taking care of me . '' `` some days i think you 're in more danger from yourself than anyone else . you smell like cigarettes , you know . '' `` hey , i have never , ever said i was perfect . you 're probably the most dangerous thing in my life . '' `` adrian -- '' `` wait . '' with his other hand , he pressed his fingers over my lips . it 'd be stupid for me to think that your old boyfriend coming back is n't going to have any effect on you .	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`` i think he assumed it would take longer for you to pick out your dress and shoes . '' in the midst of the quiet we heard `` annette ? '' the blue-haired girl waved from across the small space . `` what 's up , linnette ? '' she replied while never pausing in her work . `` i can go ahead and start her pedicure while you 're setting her hair if you want , '' she said in a tiny , timid voice . unless you would like that , ms . `` i 'm fine with however you all want to handle it . '' i smiled reassuringly at linnette , finding her shyness brought out my nurturing side to forefront . she deftly rolled my hair , something i did n't expect her to do . granted , i did n't really go to the salon other than for highlights and a trim , so this was all new to me . `` is it too late to change my mind ? '' i know she heard the apology in my voice loud and clear . she stopped rolling my hair and waited for my direction patiently . `` since you 're curling my hair , can i switch from a chignon to something a little more glamorous ? something like how women wore their hair in the 40s or 50s ? '' `` ah , vintage . yes , we can definitely do that . would you like to keep your hair down or up ? '' `` how about we do something ala marilyn monroe from the 50s ? curls all around , with this side pinned back and your bang teased up a bit ? '' i could n't quite picture it but it sounded like something i 'd like . `` go for it , annette . '' `` will do , ms. adams ! once i 'm done rolling your curls , it will need time to set , so i 'll have my sister start on your pedicure if that 's agreeable with you . '' `` actually sisters . linnette , minnette , and i are triplets . she punctuated her question with a playful wink . `` now that you mention it i 'm not sure how i missed it ! '' annette smiled in reply and resumed sectioning my hair . settling into the chair , i relaxed beneath her capable fingers . i imagined how lovely it would be to have someone do my hair everyday . highlighting it was my one concession to vanity . typically , i left it down , pulled back in a low chignon , or a high ponytail . i rarely curled it and usually only for weddings . this however was nice . no wonder the obscenely wealthy carried such a large staff . there was always someone capable of making life easier . getting spoiled is so easy when you have people like annette spoil you ... i have no idea why gabriel keeps saying i 'm spoiling him . nothing i did would be able to compare to this ... between annette 's gentle fingers and the soft music piped in overhead , my eyelids drifted closed . it seemed like only a few seconds had passed before i felt pressure on my knee . my eyes flew open and i jerked forward . `` i told you these girls were the best . '' i mumbled , disoriented and groggy from my nap . he laughed and whispered , `` did you already forget about me , emma ? '' i 've never been able to forget you ... '' my brain had obviously turned to mush to admit that . `` i mean , huh , well ... '' `` looks i got here right in time . '' gabriel 's gaze lingered on mine before he turned to address annette . `` is she ready to go to linnette ? '' annette squeezed my shoulder . `` when linnette is done , minnette will do your makeup . you 'll then come back to me , okay ? '' i nodded and stood up a little too quickly . the room swam and turned dark . gabriel reached out and steadied me . i just got up too fast . '' the deep concern in his voice warmed me even as it made me feel disconcerted . he looked me over , seemingly looking for something that would prove to him that i truly was okay . `` here , let me help you over to linnette . '' gabriel did n't give me a chance to pull away as he wrapped my arm around his . his solicitousness made me feel like precious porcelain . i still did n't know if i liked it or not . was i being cared for or being treated like a fancy piece ? i wish i could just accept what he did without always being so damned suspicious of it . if he was a regular guy , someone more like me , i know i 'd already be gone off the deep-end for him . gabriel guided me into another plush seat before pulling over a chair to sit next to me . linnette , much shyer than her sister , did n't say much . she carefully pulled my dress up and then draped a lightweight blanket over it , presumably to keep it dry from the footbath .	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he hadnt walked into the forest thinking they would walk out with her sister alive , but she did . if she had doubts , she wasnt letting anyone know it . most of all herself . he had to admit she might have a lot more to hang her hopes on than he had thought in the beginning . julius was holding out on them . a line of soldiers emerged from the forest as they did every day . they walked up the path and wound their way through the huts . three days now , he saw them leave . a few left to hunt for food and they returned , but most would leave and not return . the camp was emptying fast . the new arrivals surprised him as they walked slowly past in their combat boots and fatigues , their heads down shielding their eyes from the rain . they carried ak-47s , their hats pulled low over their eyes . as the last soldier drew parallel to their hut , he looked up at them and stopped . it was hard to make out a face under the hat , the rain dripping off it . the soldier moved closer , stopping in front of jc as she moved back . they stared at each other , and then the soldier spoke . hello , josephine . eighteen jc didnt move at first , and then her hand reached up and slowly pulled the soldiers hat off . her own face looked back at her . she could feel the tears run down her cheeks . just like that , her sister walked back into her life , as if it was the easiest thing in the world and none of the past mattered for anything . she flung herself forward , holding her tight . she knew it , never doubted it for a second . she had her back . they would go home and angelina would stay this time . she felt her soul relax . her sister was here and she was alive and life as she knew it would go back to normal . slowly , angelina pulled away . it was the last thing jc had expected to hear . i shouldnt have come , she echoed . thunder rumbled down on their heads and the wind shifted , bringing the rain in under the roof . come inside , jc said , walking her toward the hut . angelina hesitated , pulling back slightly before relenting . a puddle formed on the dirt floor around her . she dropped her pack on the ground and propped a machine gun against the wall . jc stared at it , wondering about its presence and handed angelina a towel , her eyes still on the gun . simon waited outside under the roof while angelina changed into dry clothes and jc , suddenly nervous , busied herself making tea . the portable stove wouldnt light . she tried again , lighting a third match . her hands were shaking badly and she gave up , folding her arms and watching her sister . her emotions raged between insane happiness and tearing anger . why had angelina not looked happy to see her ? she knew happy when she saw it , and her sister was not happy . she watched her dry her hair on a towel , and wondered why she seemed so different . maybe it was the way she moved so slowly , almost deliberately . she had always been in constant motion , her eyes direct . maybe it was her eyes that had changed the most . there was a look in them she hardly recognized , a hard , calculated look . angelina looked around the hut , at the rain , at simon , but never at her . she could fix it , she told herself . she could fix anything now . they would find a way through it together , whatever it was that angelina was dealing with . what had julius done to her ? why did she carry a gun ? simon came in , took the matches from her numb fingers , and lit the stove . he boiled water and rummaged in his pack for tea bags . taking some tin cups , he asked angelina how much sugar she took . no sugar , she said . at least that hadnt changed , jc thought , as angelina held the towel out for her to take . she reached for the towel and stopped suddenly , staring at angelinas hands . they were covered in blisters , the skin red and purple from burns . my god , what happened to your hands ? jc made a move toward her , but angelina moved away , dropping the towel on a sleeping bag . you probably know some of it or you wouldnt have found me . not enough to know why you arent happy to see me . josie , dont , she said , using jcs childhood nickname . she sighed , smiling weakly . luck , and a couple of little guys showed us the way . pygmies , she nodded . they could track an ant through this place . angelina accepted a cup of tea from simon , and jcs eyes returned to her sisters hands as they wrapped around the cup . what happened , angelina ? give her a minute , simon frowned . she paused , took a sip of the tea , and stood looking out at the rain . i guess it all started at the camp in goma .	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i was such an idiot , i actually thought his father would marry me when i told him i was pregnant . '' she paused to take another drag on her cigarette . `` could n't do it , though , 'cause he already had a wife . '' `` anson is n't like that . '' `` one thing i 'll say about anson . he 's got his daddy 's brains . sure as hell did n't get 'em from me . '' allison badly wanted this evening to be special for anson . `` it would mean a great deal to anson if you 'd come to the party . '' she loved anson , so she was willing to put aside her own preferences . if , despite everything , he wanted his mother there-and he did-allison would try to persuade her . `` party , is it ? '' she cocked her eyebrows as she flicked the lit cigarette onto the dirt road . `` a farewell party , '' she elaborated . cherry shook her head . `` you wo n't need me for that . '' `` anson would like you there , '' she said . `` please , mrs.-cherry . '' again his mother declined , shaking her head . `` what could be more important than sending anson off to his new course ? '' she asked , not understanding how his mother could feel so little pride or concern . allison glanced up as a car came toward the trailer , leaving behind a trail of dust . she recognized shaw 's old ford malibu . he dropped anson off , waved to allison , and pulled out again . they 'd see him later at the party . `` sorry i 'm late , '' anson said , smiling at allison and then his mother . `` i was just inviting your mother to join us , '' allison said pointedly . `` and i was just telling your girlfriend i got better things to do than go to some rich man 's house and make nice . '' `` it wo n't hurt my feelings if you 'd rather stay here , '' anson said , not meeting his mother 's eyes . `` i did n't figure it would , '' cherry told him . allison felt him stiffen at that response . then he turned deliberately away . `` come on , allison , let 's get out of here . '' `` bye-bye , '' cherry said with a flippant wave . she moved inside the trailer and pulled the door shut . as soon as his mother was gone , anson cast allison an apologetic look . `` how long did i keep you waiting ? '' `` a couple of minutes , that 's all . '' `` did she get on your case ? '' `` me and the military . '' anson released his breath . `` she blames you . '' allison was n't worried . cherry could blame her , for all she cared . `` the military 's my way out , allison , '' he said as if he needed to explain his motivation . `` without it i would n't have a chance of getting an education . cherry does n't seem to grasp that . '' anxious to leave now , she tugged at anson 's hand . they both climbed into the car and allison left the trailer park . she drove cautiously to avoid the kids and dogs playing in the dusty roads . `` is your family expecting us right away ? '' `` i ... i suppose . he sent her a quick , secretive smile . `` can we go to the waterfront for a moment ? '' anywhere in particular ? '' a slow , happy grin spread across his face . allison did take her eyes off the road then . she knew a good place down lighthouse road and went in that direction . the tide was out , so she pulled onto a stony area near the beach , glancing around to make sure it was as deserted as she 'd expected it to be . anson got out of the car and allison did , too . when he joined her , he took her hand ; together they walked the short distance to the water . a log had drifted up onto the shore and they stepped over it , making their way along the pebble beach . a pair of long-legged herons waded in the shallow water and seagulls cawed overhead . `` i 'm sorry you had to wait for me , '' anson said again . `` i know what my mother 's like . '' allison did n't want to waste their last day discussing his mother . `` i planned to be back sooner , but i needed shaw to take me someplace . '' anson reached inside his pocket and removed a small jeweler 's box , which he flipped open . inside was a silver ring with a single blue stone . a sapphire , allison guessed . anson stared down at it and then at her . `` i wanted to give you this before i left . '' her throat instantly clogged with tears . `` oh , anson . '' `` i want you to have something from me to wear so you wo n't forget me . ''	[["idiot", 19], ["think", 40], ["thinkest", 40], ["thought", 40], ["father", 51], ["fathered", 51], ["fathering", 51], ["marry", 63], ["married", 63], ["tell", 78], ["told", 78], ["pregnant", 97], ["pause", 113], ["paused", 113], ["take", 121], ["another", 129], ["drag", 134], ["cigarette", 151], ["though", 181], ["already", 201], ["wife", 212], ["anson", 226], ["like", 238], ["thing", 261], ["say", 271], ["sayest", 271], ["get", 295], ["got", 295], ["daddy", 305], ["brain", 315], ["brained", 315], ["braining", 315], ["brains", 315], ["sure", 322], ["hell", 330], ["hells", 330], ["get", 342], ["allison", 367], ["badly", 373], ["evening", 393], ["special", 407], ["mean", 436], ["meanest", 436], ["great", 444], ["deal", 449], ["come", 473], ["party", 486], ["love", 501], ["loved", 501], ["willing", 528], ["put", 535], ["aside", 541], ["preference", 561], ["preferences", 561], ["despite", 576], ["everything", 587], ["mother", 610], ["mothered", 610], ["motherest", 610], ["try", 645], 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before , when gary deployed and it was just me and nathan at home , we could manage . i mean , we missed him , me especially . but nathan seemed largely unaffected . gary left about a month after nathan started college . he didnt do well his first semester , and i wondered if nathan was worried about me being home alone . nathan called me in october . he was flunking all his classes . rita ran a hand through her hair again , and scrubbed her face with her hands . i encouraged him to stick it out for a whole semester . work with a tutor , get some help . he agreed to try , but he never turned his grades around . when he came home for thanksgiving , he never went back . one whole semesters tuition down the drain . shed never had to worry about grades with jasmine . if anything , she worried her daughter was too much of a studier her nose always in a book , never noticing life was passing her by . which is why , if she were honest with herself , she was pleased jaz was going to paris , despite the fact it meant a summer away from leslie . once he was home , i noticed some problem areas . he wasnt the same kid as he was in high school . he kept to himself more , never opened up or confided in me . my friends told me thats typical for a young man who is developing independence . but more things . he stayed up till all hours of the night , and slept in past noon every day . never left his room , other than to shower and eat . never saw his friends . and he had no purpose in life no school , no job , no means to support himself . no longer a kid , but not yet a man , living in his mothers house . leslie pushed her empty dish away . rita hadnt started hers yet . when i suggested he go look for a job , it started world war iii . granted , its not like job opportunities abound in summersville . but he couldve at least looked for something . finally , i gave him a job here . i didnt give him a choice . i told him if he wasnt going to school , hed have to work , period . thats when i started noticing strange kids dropping by . kids id never seen before , and theyd only stay a few minutes and leave . he uses his earnings from the restaurant money i pay him for drugs . the weight of her story was taking its toll . leslie reached over and placed her hand on top of ritas . i think he picked up the habit while he was away at school . which explains why he flunked out . for all i know , marijuana is just the beginning . what if hes ventured into more addictive drugs and hes letting the addiction run his life ? or ruin his life . what does your husband say about it ? rita lifted her head and looked into leslies eyes . i havent told him , she whispered . leslie was shocked . rita shook her head and looked down . its sort of the military wifes code . you dont tell your man any bad news . hes got it bad enough over there . he faces danger and loss of life every day . i either need to fix this on my own , or itll have to wait till he comes back . leslies head was reeling . she couldnt imagine ritas reality . military wives staying so strong on the home front to protect their men on the battlefield . she doubted if she herself would have the strength . but it was obviously nearly killing rita . but rita , you cant fix this on your own . this is nathans problem . he needs to fix it . rita blinked . you can encourage and urge him . but you cant overcome a drug addiction for him . he needs to come to the conclusion his life stinks the way it is , and he needs to do something about it . rita sat still , her eyes widening . you just said something that gave me a whole new perspective . he needs to come to the conclusion that his life stinks so much , he needs to do something to change it . leslie watched her new friend , her face shedding its dread and beaming a little . but guess what : his life doesnt stink . i take care of everything for him . rita grabbed her fork and dug it into her slice of peach pie . he doesnt go to school because he flunked out of college . he doesnt have a job , so i give him one and a paycheck . he has no bills so he spends his money on drugs . he doesnt pay rent he lives with me scot-free . she stuck the sugary treat in her mouth and chewed on it , smiling . leslie looked at her expectantly . from ritas tone of voice youd think she was happy about these revelations . or maybe she was happy shed finally figured out the problem . rita dropped her fork , got up and took steps back and forth in front of the table while she worked this out . its a mothers job to love her child .	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it 'd be kind of like you did at the pep rally , but faster , more energizing . '' `` so i just have to stand there and hold my hand out , right ? '' `` for you coach , anything . '' `` you still driving that sweet malibu ? a 66 is n't it ? '' `` yep , a 66 . it was my brother 's idea , but it 's a nice car . '' `` nice , you kiddin ' ? i had one when i was in schoolreally loved that car . '' the fondness for his old car shown in his expression . the bell rang and he looked up to address the entire class . `` okay , do n't forget the homework and we have a quiz tomorrow on basic html code . '' `` you 're welcome to drive it sometime , coach , '' i said as i logged off and gathered my things . `` careful , i just might take you up on it . '' `` i 'm serious , anytime . did you ever figure out who changed my computer logon settings ? '' coach scratched his head . `` you know , the kids these days are pretty sharp when it comes to computers , but there are always traces left behind , almost like fingerprints . '' `` well i 'm glad you figured it out . '' `` truth is , i did n't . i ca n't figure iti 'm pretty good at this stuff , but i could n't find a trace , not oneeven called in a colleague from the school board computer support staff to have a look and best he could tell , your account was hacked from outside the school . '' `` now do n't get your britches in a bunchoh , excuse me , i did n't mean that the way it sounded . '' `` well , i do n't want you to worry . the computer support folks down at the board of education are looking into it . '' `` you 'll tell me what they find ? '' `` you bet , and do n't worry that pretty little head of yours over it . i 'm sure it was just some random hacker playing around . '' `` you wo n't say anything to jason ? '' `` no , this is just between us although i think ms. moore is going to want to send a letter home to your folks explaining the situation and the steps we 're taking to provide a safe environment for our students . '' `` that 's not really necessary . i better get going , i do n't want to be late for calculus . '' `` calculus ? whew , you go girl . '' i headed out into the hallway and an anxious jason . `` no , coach just asked me to do something for the team . '' `` cool , what ? '' `` he wants me to stand at the gate with my hand out so you guys can run past and bump your helmet 's against my hand as you take the fieldfor luck he said . '' `` awesome , that ought to fire the guys up . '' `` that 's what he was saying . he said everyone is going to be extra prepared for you now , because of friday 's victory . '' `` you mean shellacking , but he 's right , we 're going to be the team to beat . '' `` we better hurry , '' i said . we ran down to the corner , and then split up to go to our individual classes . i got into calculus just as the bell finished . mr. mathews looked a little annoyed , but i think he liked me and did n't say anything . my thoughts drifted back to what coach said as mr. mathews went over some problems that i understood . i had only considered that what had happened with my computer was either dillonalthough i doubted he was smart enoughderrick certainly wasn'tor someone else in school . but now , as i thought about it , there was another possibility . it seemed extremely unlikelycathy would have warned me , but i could n't rely entirely on cathy . `` yes , '' i looked up to an empty classroom . `` the lunch bell rang , '' mr. mathews said , `` do you have a question on one of the problems ? '' `` no , i understand these . '' `` well , i 'll see you after lunch . '' jason was waiting outside the door and immediately picked up on my anxiety . `` seriously , i know you better than that . '' i stroked his bristly cheek . `` i 'm fine , just wondering how your mom is going to take me being involved in your pregame ritual . i did n't think of it when i agreed . '' `` you should n't let her get to you like that . '' `` you did n't argue with her when you got home saturday , did you ? '' `` no , i promised you i would n't , besides , i ca n't think of anything else to say . i guess she 's just going to have to come around to this on her own , unless ? 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he pressed her closer until she felt his jaw graze against her cheek . she stifled a shudder . `` monsieur , may i remind you that i 'm a married woman . i do not dally . '' thank god for ryan 's sense in telling this man that she belonged to michael . `` madame , you are as prudish as the english . we frenchmen never allow a husband or a wife to deter us from the greater pleasures in life . indeed , madame , husbands exist in order to provide for their wives , while wives exist in order to dote upon their husbands . it 's a symbiotic relationship . but , when it comes to passion , decadence , and unadulterated sex-the kind that makes you writhe between the sheets ... then , madame , it 's not a husband you need , but a lover . '' alexandra could feel her stomach roil . never before had she thought herself more close to being violently ill. had it been michael who had spoken such filth , it might have stirred her , but to find herself so shamelessly affronted . few things agitated her , but this ... this was beyond all sense of decorum . `` might i offer my services ? '' the count whispered as his wet tongue swiped against her earlobe . this was by far , more than she was willing to endure . and yet , she had to remember her primary goal in attending this evening . pulling back slightly , she gazed up at the man who 'd just declared her to be nothing but a slab of meat . she batted her eyelids to the best of her ability and prayed to god that she would not vomit . `` to answer your first question , i am here this evening as a guest of monsieur le docteur . he 's my brother , monsieur . '' the count raised an eyebrow , surprise clearly evident upon his face , but then he narrowed his eyes and looked at her more closely as if he hoped to read her like an open book . `` i 've enjoyed several interesting conversations with him , i must admit . '' he swept her in a wide circle and tightened his hold on her hand . `` his imperial majesty is quite taken with him , you know , but then , he admires all men who 've studied at the sorbonne . he 's a great advocate of higher learning , you see . '' alexandra spotted the trap immediately . she did n't know why this man was deliberately trying to set her up-the only thing that mattered was that he was and that could only mean one thing . he suspected her of something or he suspected william . fortunately , her brother had been farsighted enough to mention this detail when they 'd last spoken . `` i fear you must be mistaken , my lord , '' alexandra smiled as they glided to a halt . she placed her hand on bertrand 's arm and allowed him to lead her off the dance floor . `` i 'm quite certain that he studied at leiden . '' `` ah , yes , i do believe you are correct . one must admire him for managing such a feat . after all , it ca n't have been easy for him to study in a foreign language . '' bertrand 's eyes glittered like those of a wolf preparing to spring a trap . `` i do n't believe monsieur le docteur speaks dutch . '' alexandra 's smile tightened . this man was clearly trying to prove that william was n't who he claimed to be . it worried her to no end . her brother 's situation was clearly more precarious than she 'd imagined . `` my lord , the last i heard , medicine is taught in latin-a language which my brother happens to be quite proficient in . '' `` well done , madame , '' the count exclaimed . `` you do appear to have passed the test . alexandra let out a small sigh of relief . her head was feeling rather dizzy from the strain of it all . she 'd been ready to make a dash for it the minute the count had caught her out . thank heavens she 'd managed to remain calm . `` i do apologize for questioning you like that , but you must understand that his imperial majesty 's safety is of the utmost importance . having never seen you before , i was naturally concerned . '' `` i completely understand , '' she muttered as she glanced about , hoping to spot michael , william , or ryan ... anyone who might save her from her current companion . bertrand led her out onto a small deserted balcony . the cool breeze that wafted against her was a refreshing change from the oppressive heat in the ballroom . `` might i ask you a question now , monsieur ? '' she stared out over the place de la concorde , her back ramrod straight and her chin held high . she was about to risk everything with one simple question .	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`` that will be more than enough . '' she kicked off the stupid heels she 'd put on to clack around the apartment as little mrs . how had she let herself get duped into this ? and now she had to put on the `` perfect wife '' act at a party with all his friends and coworkers ? heck , maybe she would go ahead and have a cry . that way she could get it out of her system and grin like a loon all night on the arm of the lying gavin spencer . after bree 's odd behavior that morning , gavin decided to go home and pick her up so they could arrive at the party together . he worried that she felt overwhelmed by her new life , and he felt guilty for announcing his dramatic career change so soon after their wedding . he probably should have given her a bit more time to get comfortable . and given that some of his coworkers were a bit testy about his announcement , he decided it might be better if they went to the party together so she did n't show up and get grilled by anyone before he got there . `` you look gorgeous , as usual . '' he had to pause for a moment , just to take in the vision of bree standing in their apartment door . her ankle-length dress , covered in tiny black-and-white stripes , flowed over her curves like water down a waterfall . i did some shopping today . '' her green eyes glittered hard as she gazed at him . or possibly he was just imagining it . all the upheaval in his professional life must be making him testy . bree seemed taller than usual , and a glance down confirmed that she wore sleek black-and-white pumps that added about three inches to her already impressive height . `` lucky i 'm over six feet or i 'd be standing in your shadow . '' `` now that i 'm married , i do n't have to worry that no one will dance with me because i 'm too tall . '' she did look gorgeous . her height served only to emphasize her greek-goddess good looks , especially with her magnificent ringlets cascading over her shoulders . she must have spent hours getting ready . now that he thought about it , she 'd been dressed to the nines even for their dinner at home last night . `` you do n't have to look breathtaking every minute , you know . it 's okay to relax and wear whatever feels comfortable . '' she cocked her head , which sent her curls tumbling over one breast . `` do you think i should wear that dress i had on when we met ? '' `` okay , maybe not that one . but i do n't want you thinking you have to dress up all the time . '' i just dress how i like . '' she lifted her chin , tall and proud . `` as long as it 's for your own pleasure , it 's all good with me . '' who would n't want a woman who looked as fantastic as this ? he could n't understand why no one had snatched her up before him . her father must be nuts to think she needed his help in finding a husband . he 'd transferred the money , though . gavin had seen it in the new account he 'd opened just for this purpose . one million dollars-seven fat figures-right there on the screen of the computer under his name . could life get any better than this ? he extended his arm to bree , who threaded hers elegantly through it . `` let 's go take the world by storm . '' the iron grille restaurant on the first floor of the agency building throbbed with music , and waiters in white tie swirled through the crowd with trays of hors d'oeuvres . `` oh , gavin ! '' he grimaced at the site of nutty marissa barreling toward him on her high heels , stringy blonde hair flying . he certainly would n't miss her . `` go on , tell me in secret . which clients are you stealing , darling ? '' `` marissa , i believe you 've met my wife , bree . '' marissa glanced at bree , managing to look down on her , despite the fact that bree was several inches taller . `` congratulations on your big catch , darling . '' then she turned her evil gaze back to gavin . `` or should i be congratulating you , sweetheart ? i hear bree 's from old money . '' bree 's mouth dropped open . even he was rendered speechless . `` marissa , you 're lucky you 're a talented logo designer , or no one would put up with you . '' `` so true ! '' `` but come on , who are you stealing ? or are you the infamous mole everyone 's been hunting for all year ? '' he was in danger of losing his cool if he did n't get away from this woman . `` bree , let 's go find a drink . i 'm starting to need one . '' bree looked panicked-not surprising . marissa had that effect on people .	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he loved that she was unapologetically feminine , and yet she had a strong personality and she did n't take shit lying down . she was going to be a challenge . a welcome challenge , and a change from the women he was accustomed to . she may very well keep him on his toes over the coming weeks . he wanted to spoil and pamper her shamelessly . let her indulge in all the girlie delights she wanted . he wanted to see her smile-be the one who made her smile . he wanted that shine in her eyes to come from him . if that made him a selfish , egotistical , self-serving bastard , he could live with that . he took hold of both feet and pushed forward , doubling her legs and then spreading them as he knelt between her thighs . she was splayed wide open to him , the soft , pink flesh of her psy glistening in the low light . resting one foot against his shoulder , he reached and trailed a finger down the seam of her psy and then slid it inside , feeling the snug tissues hug him . he wanted inside her so badly he was about to come . he leaned down and licked from her entrance to her clt in one rough swipe that had her bowing off the bed . her cry escaped . an urgent demand for satisfaction . he could sense that she was at the end of her patience , and that was fine with him because he could n't hold off another second . moving in closer , he grasped his erection and fitted it to the mouth of her psy . for a moment he toyed , sliding it in and out the barest inch until she growled at him in frustration . a smile curving his lips , he eased forward , inch by inch , enjoying the thrill of her enveloping him and pulling him deeper . `` you 're such a damn tease , '' she said crossly . `` god , gabe . he let her legs fall and then leaned over her , angling himself so he could thrust deeper . he kissed her , still smiling . `` so demanding , '' he mocked . she reached up , grasped his head and yanked him down into a forceful , demanding kiss that firmly proved his point . he plunged through her wetness , sliding past swollen , tight tissues until his hps met hers . `` fuck me , what you do to me , '' gabe said in a tortured whisper . she wrapped her legs around him , hooking her ankles at his ass . she lifted herself upward , wanting more . hell , he wanted more . planting his hands on either side of her head , he began to pump in and out . he pushed and undulated deep , holding himself there at the deepest possible point before sliding back out , retreating , only to advance again in an erotic , tantalizing rhythm . `` tell me what you need , '' he managed to grit out . `` how close are you , mia ? `` you , '' she said simply , that one word tearing to the very heart of him . he did n't have to tell her to give him her eyes . her gaze was solidly fixed on him , sweet and understanding , the glow of arousal warm in her depths . he sped up his thrusts , plunging , rocking against her . she fluttered and convulsed around him . he felt the start of her orgasm as she rippled along the length of his cck and then squeezed him so tight that it initiated his own . the rush was nothing he 'd ever experienced before . the ultimate adrenaline surge . the first jet of semn erupted from his body , painful and so intensely pleasurable that he lost sense of everything but his dick diving into her over and over . she was limp on the bed , her eyes on him when she came-as her chest rose and fell in rapid succession . even when the last of his release had left his body , he still fked her , not wanting that feeling to go away . her arms circled his shoulders and her hands rubbed up and down his back , her nails lightly scouring his flesh . he moaned and shuddered from the toes up . he pushed inside her and stayed , lowering his body so it rested atop hers . he slid his hands underneath her ass , pulling her tighter against him , not wanting to lose that connection . if it were up to him , he 'd remain a permanent part of her , his dick wedged in her psy . there was no better feeling on earth . `` mmm , that was decadent , '' mia said in a sleepy , completely satisfied voice . he had nothing to say because there were n't adequate words to convey just how wrecked he was right now , and he did n't want her or anyone to know just how vulnerable he felt at the moment . he kissed her temple , careful not to move so he remained inside her . he was n't leaving her until he had to . it was twisted , but he liked the fact that she was apparently every bit as possessive of him as he was of her .	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i swear to you , kira ... his voice broke with emotion . i swear to you i will do whatever it takes to avenge you . i will do whatever it takes to help make you better . soon , he heard malcolm return with the doctor . the two sailors hovered close by as he inspected her , checking for broken bones and other wounds . soon , he was shooing them both out for the sake of her privacy . malcolm and marcus sat in the hall , time seeming to stretch on endlessly . i 'll do whatever it takes , marcus thought . whatever it takes to fix this . whatever it takes to fix what i 've broken . marcus felt a bitter sense of hopelessness overcome him . do you really think you can come back from this ? do you really think she could ever love you again ? you fed her to the wolves . captain ... are you alright ? malcolm 's voice broke through the haze and marcus looked up to find the warmth of a hot tear racing down his cheek . what have i done , malcolm ? * * * long after the doctor had gone , marcus found himself wide awake , standing watch over kira 's room . he slept in the floor , a couple of make-shift blankets forming a temporary bed . malcolm had been kind enough to make a pallet in the front room , but marcus wondered if the older man had managed to get any sleep either . the doctor had confirmed marcus ' fears . kira had been badly wounded , several of her ribs broken and he 'd hinted that internal injuries were probable . kira would need to be in bed for several months in order to recover . marcus tried to push away the grief he felt . he 'd wanted to rescue her . from the first moment he 'd laid eyes on her in that dirty little street , he 'd felt the undeniable urge to take her in his arms and offer her his protection . now , he had failed bitterly . the one thing kira deserved to have , safety , had been ripped from her completely . he tried restlessly to get some sleep , but his mind continued to race for many hours . eventually , as morning started to seep in , he gave in to exhaustion . * * * it was late morning when marcus woke . memories of the night before hit him like a ton of bricks and he jumped up to check on kira . she seemed to be resting , the purple spot on her eye spreading across her face . whatever it took to nurse her back to health , he knew he would do it . he just prayed she would wake up . malcolm stuck his head in quietly . i 'm going to make soup . marcus nodded , grateful for the calming presence of the even-headed sailor . he knew malcolm had to be upset , but he was as quiet and useful as ever . for quite some time , marcus sat in a chair by her bed , waiting for her to wake up . he prayed , he cursed himself , he ran back through everything he 'd said before . still , none of it could change what was . finally , close to noon , kira 's eyes started to flutter softly . marcus sat up straight as an arrow , hoping that she would come to . she let out a soft , painful moan , her broken ribs clearly obstructing her breathing . marcus winced as he watched her struggle to breath , the beginnings of consciousness bringing her great pain . at last , her eyes fluttered open , a look of confusion filling them . marcus whispered , looking for signs of recognition in her gaze . her eyes slid shut once more , a painful sound escaping from her mouth as she tried to adjust her position on the bed . with a gentle touch , marcus reached forward and put his hand on her arm . kira 's eyes shot open , a terrified look of panic permeating them . she yanked her body to escape his touch , then let out an excruciating yell as pain tore through her body . ahh.. ! she began to sob brokenly , her face stinging from the tears flowing over wounded skin . marcus watched as the broken creature in front of him shook violently , clearly terrified of his presence . it felt like the pain of a knife , stabbing him deep in the heart . i 'm sorry ... marcus said , moving his hand away . her huge eyes were staring at him now , a look of utter fear filling her . # # # connect with evelyn james do n't miss updates on the next book in the gorgeous rogues series and news on other books and giveaways . like evelyn james ' facebook page by clicking here . something wild a reckless and real prequel by lexi ryan smashwords edition copyright 2014 by lexi ryan copyright 2014 by lexi ryan all rights reserved . cover 2014 sarah hansen , okay creations for lexis midnight readers . sharing my writing with you is a guaranteed bright spot in my day . acknowledgements as always , i thank my family first .	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["endlessly", 458], ["think", 504], ["thinkest", 504], ["thought", 504], ["fix", 531], ["fixes", 531], ["break", 581], ["broke", 581], ["broken", 581], ["feel", 595], ["felt", 595], ["bitter", 604], ["bitterest", 604], ["sense", 610], ["hopelessness", 626], ["overcome", 635], ["overcame", 635], ["really", 655], ["think", 661], ["thinkest", 661], ["come", 674], ["back", 679], ["ever", 726], ["everest", 726], ["love", 731], ["fed", 751], ["feed", 751], ["wolf", 769], ["wolves", 769], ["captain", 779], ["alright", 799], ["haze", 841], ["hazes", 841], ["look", 859], ["looked", 859], ["find", 870], ["warmth", 881], ["hot", 890], ["tear", 895], ["teared", 895], ["race", 902], ["racing", 902], ["cheek", 917], ["cheeks", 917], ["long", 959], ["longs", 959], ["go", 985], ["goest", 985], ["gone", 985], ["find", 1000], ["found", 1000], ["wide", 1013], ["awoke", 1019], ["awake", 1019], ["stood", 1030], ["stand", 1030], ["standest", 1030], ["standing", 1030], ["watch", 1036], ["room", 1054], ["roomed", 1054], ["slept", 1065], ["sleep", 1065], ["sleeps", 1065], ["sleepest", 1065], ["floor", 1078], ["couple", 1089], ["shift", 1103], ["blanket", 1112], ["blankets", 1112], ["form", 1120], ["formest", 1120], ["forming", 1120], ["temporary", 1132], ["bed", 1136], ["kind", 1160], ["enough", 1167], ["pallet", 1184], ["front", 1197], ["wonder", 1224], ["wonderest", 1224], ["wondered", 1224], ["old", 1237], ["man", 1241], ["mans", 1241], ["manned", 1241], ["manage", 1253], ["managed", 1253], ["get", 1260], ["slept", 1270], ["sleep", 1270], ["sleeps", 1270], ["sleepest", 1270], ["either", 1277], ["confirm", 1304], ["confirmed", 1304], ["fear", 1319], ["fearest", 1319], ["fears", 1319], ["badly", 1341], ["wind", 1349], ["wound", 1349], ["wounding", 1349], ["wounded", 1349], ["several", 1359], ["rib", 1371], ["ribs", 1371], ["hint", 1395], ["hinting", 1395], ["hinted", 1395], ["internal", 1409], ["injury", 1418], ["injuries", 1418], ["probable", 1432], ["need", 1450], ["needest", 1450], ["month", 1482], ["months", 1482], ["order", 1491], ["orderest", 1491], ["recover", 1502], ["try", 1517], ["tryed", 1517], ["tried", 1517], ["push", 1525], ["away", 1530], ["grief", 1540], ["rescue", 1573], ["first", 1594], ["firstest", 1594], ["moment", 1601], ["lay", 1612], ["lays", 1612], ["layed", 1612], ["layest", 1612], ["laid", 1612], ["eye", 1617], ["eyed", 1617], ["eyes", 1617], ["dirty", 1638], ["little", 1645], ["street", 1652], ["undeniable", 1680], ["urge", 1685], ["take", 1693], ["arm", 1709], ["arms", 1709], ["offer", 1719], ["protection", 1738], ["fail", 1760], ["failed", 1760], ["bitterly", 1769], ["thing", 1785], ["deserve", 1799], ["deserved", 1799], ["safety", 1816], ["rip", 1834], ["ripped", 1834], ["completely", 1854], ["restlessly", 1876], ["mind", 1909], ["minding", 1909], ["continue", 1919], ["continued", 1919], ["race", 1927], ["racing", 1927], ["many", 1936], ["hour", 1942], ["hours", 1942], ["eventually", 1955], ["morning", 1968], ["start", 1976], 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2420], ["nodded", 2420], ["grateful", 2431], ["calm", 2447], ["calms", 2447], ["calming", 2447], ["presence", 2456], ["even", 2468], ["evens", 2468], ["head", 2475], ["headed", 2475], ["sailor", 2482], ["upset", 2516], ["quiet", 2538], ["useful", 2549], ["quite", 2569], ["chair", 2603], ["chairing", 2603], ["wait", 2624], ["waitest", 2624], ["waiting", 2624], ["curse", 2667], ["cursed", 2667], ["run", 2684], ["ran", 2684], ["everything", 2708], ["say", 2719], ["sayest", 2719], ["said", 2719], ["still", 2734], ["none", 2741], ["change", 2760], ["finally", 2779], ["noon", 2795], ["flutter", 2829], ["fluttering", 2829], ["softly", 2836], ["straight", 2861], ["arrow", 2873], ["hope", 2882], ["hoping", 2882], ["let", 2915], ["lets", 2915], ["soft", 2926], ["painful", 2936], ["moan", 2941], ["moans", 2941], ["moanest", 2941], ["clearly", 2967], ["obstruct", 2979], ["obstructing", 2979], ["breathing", 2993], ["wince", 3009], ["winced", 3009], ["watch", 3023], ["watched", 3023], ["struggle", 3036], ["breath", 3046], ["breathest", 3046], ["beginning", 3063], ["beginnings", 3063], ["consciousness", 3080], ["bring", 3089], ["bringing", 3089], ["great", 3099], ["pain", 3104], ["last", 3114], ["flutter", 3135], ["fluttering", 3135], ["fluttered", 3135], ["open", 3140], ["look", 3149], ["confusion", 3162], ["fill", 3170], ["fills", 3170], ["filling", 3170], ["whisper", 3194], ["whispered", 3194], ["look", 3204], ["looking", 3204], ["sign", 3214], ["signs", 3214], ["recognition", 3229], ["gaze", 3241], ["gazes", 3241], ["slid", 3257], ["shut", 3262], ["sound", 3290], ["escape", 3299], ["escapes", 3299], ["escaping", 3299], ["mouth", 3314], ["mouthed", 3314], ["adjust", 3337], ["position", 3350], ["gentle", 3377], ["gentler", 3377], ["touch", 3383], ["touching", 3383], ["reach", 3400], ["reached", 3400], ["forward", 3408], ["forwardest", 3408], ["forwarding", 3408], ["put", 3416], ["hand", 3425], ["arm", 3436], ["shoot", 3456], ["shooted", 3456], ["shot", 3456], ["panic", 3489], 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4029], ["evelyn", 4041], ["jameses", 4047], ["miss", 4059], ["update", 4067], ["updates", 4067], ["next", 4079], ["book", 4084], ["gorgeous", 4100], ["series", 4114], ["news", 4123], ["newses", 4123], ["book", 4138], ["books", 4138], ["giveaway", 4152], ["giveaways", 4152], ["facebook", 4183], ["page", 4188], ["click", 4200], ["wild", 4222], ["wildest", 4222], ["reckless", 4233], ["recklessest", 4233], ["reis", 4242], ["real", 4242], ["prequel", 4250], ["lexi", 4258], ["ryan", 4263], ["edition", 4282], ["copyright", 4292], ["right", 4349], ["rightest", 4349], ["rights", 4349], ["reserve", 4358], ["reserved", 4358], ["reserving", 4358], ["cover", 4366], ["sarah", 4377], ["hansen", 4384], ["okay", 4391], ["creation", 4401], ["creations", 4401], ["lexis", 4411], ["midnight", 4420], ["midnights", 4420], ["reader", 4428], ["readers", 4428], ["share", 4438], ["writing", 4449], ["bright", 4481], ["brights", 4481], ["day", 4496], ["acknowledgement", 4515], ["acknowledgements", 4515], ["always", 4525], ["thank", 4535], ["thanks", 4535], ["thankest", 4535], ["family", 4545]]
the music started again , and the `` royal '' couple walked onto the dance floor , soon to be joined by others . without conscious thought , bethanne moved toward grant . he slipped his arms around her as if they 'd never been apart . as if they were still a couple . the two of them against the world . `` i ca n't thank you enough , '' grant whispered as he drew her close . `` you worked as hard as i did . '' `` i was n't talking about redoing mom 's prom night . '' bethanne was n't sure what he did mean , then . `` i want to thank you for being the incredible woman you are , for giving my life meaning and for offering me hope that there 's a chance for the two of us again . '' she smiled up at him and closed her eyes as she allowed the rhythm of the music to carry her . their steps matched easily , smoothly , as innate as breathing . they used to dance together like this , but that was in another lifetime ... . twenty-eight max scranton pulled his motorcycle into the driveway of the home he 'd once shared with kate and their daughter . he had n't been here in more than three years . this was the first time he 'd come back to monterey since climbing on his harley . he 'd never intended to stay away this long , but there 'd been no reason to return . until he 'd met bethanne . time lost all meaning as he sat on the bike in his driveway and stared at the house . he 'd expected a flood of grief and regrets , but he felt almost nothing . no guilt , no heartache , no melancholy . his overwhelming emotion was sadness for what no longer existed . the life he 'd known here was gone . he 'd handed the business over to his brother and had lost touch with the majority of his friends . shutting down the engine , he climbed off the bike and removed his helmet . the key to the house was hidden under a fake rock near the front door . his brother and rooster routinely stopped by to check on the place and give him updates , although he was n't all that interested . he 'd wanted to put the house on the market , but that would 've meant returning and cleaning it out . he 'd found the task too daunting . the car pulling in behind him took him by surprise . rooster . he should 've realized his friend would show up . rooster looked quite different in slacks and a shirt with a button-down collar than he did in his leather vest and chaps . max wondered what ruth and annie would think if they could see rooster now . they probably would n't recognize him ; the biker bore little resemblance to the successful advertising executive he was for most of the year . rooster got out of his car and closed the door , the sound reverberating in the stillness of the late afternoon . his friend joined him on the porch . max had phoned rooster a few hours earlier , when he 'd arrived in town . they 'd parted ways the week before because of rooster 's business commitments . he should 've known his friend would n't leave it at a simple call . max did n't bother to respond to the obvious lie . `` okay , i was n't . i figured you might need some company . '' rooster 's skeptical look revealed his doubt . max studied the locked door as he considered his reply . he was n't ready to face this alone . he appreciated the fact that rooster was with him , although he 'd be hard-pressed to admit it . he finally inserted the key and opened the door . for an instant he stood there paralyzed . moving forward required an effort so great he began to sweat . he went in and , after three steps , again stood motionless . noticing that rooster was watching him intently , max advanced another step . the house was exactly as he 'd left it , exactly as he remembered . directly in front of him was a stunning view of the pacific ocean through the floor-to-ceiling windows . white leather furniture was tastefully displayed ; a black grand piano rested in one corner of the living room and a huge natural-rock fireplace took up the far wall . the original artwork was worth ten times what kate had paid for it . she 'd always had an eye for talent . max heard the hesitation in his friend 's voice . he did n't know what he was supposed to think , what he should feel . closing his eyes he tried to remember what it was like when he 'd lived here with kate and their daughter . he 'd always love kate , but she was gone and he was alive . he had n't realized how much life he was capable of until he 'd met bethanne and discovered he could feel again , love again . `` this is a beautiful house , '' rooster commented . `` kate loved it , '' max said .	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509], ["meanest", 509], ["incredible", 566], ["woman", 572], ["womans", 572], ["give", 593], ["giving", 593], ["life", 601], ["lifes", 601], ["meaning", 609], ["offer", 626], ["hope", 634], ["chance", 657], ["chanced", 657], ["chancing", 657], ["smile", 697], ["smiled", 697], ["close", 718], ["closed", 718], ["eye", 727], ["eyed", 727], ["eyes", 727], ["allow", 742], ["allowed", 742], ["rhythm", 753], ["rhythms", 753], ["carry", 775], ["step", 793], ["steps", 793], ["match", 801], ["matching", 801], ["matched", 801], ["easily", 808], ["smoothly", 819], ["innate", 831], ["innates", 831], ["breathe", 844], ["breathes", 844], ["use", 856], ["used", 856], ["together", 874], ["like", 879], ["another", 910], ["lifetime", 919], ["twenty", 932], ["eight", 938], ["max", 942], ["scranton", 951], ["pull", 958], ["pulled", 958], ["motorcycle", 973], ["driveway", 991], ["home", 1003], ["homing", 1003], ["share", 1021], ["shared", 1021], ["kate", 1031], ["daughter", 1050], ["three", 1092], ["year", 1098], ["years", 1098], ["first", 1119], ["firstest", 1119], ["time", 1124], ["come", 1135], ["back", 1140], ["monterey", 1152], ["since", 1158], ["climb", 1167], ["climbing", 1167], ["harley", 1181], ["harleys", 1181], ["intend", 1204], ["intendest", 1204], ["intended", 1204], ["stay", 1212], ["away", 1217], ["long", 1227], ["longs", 1227], ["reason", 1257], ["reasonest", 1257], ["return", 1267], ["returnest", 1267], ["meet", 1285], ["meeted", 1285], ["met", 1285], ["lose", 1306], ["lost", 1306], ["sat", 1328], ["sit", 1328], ["bike", 1340], ["biking", 1340], ["stare", 1367], ["stared", 1367], ["house", 1380], ["expect", 1397], ["expected", 1397], ["flood", 1405], ["grief", 1414], ["regret", 1426], ["regrets", 1426], ["feel", 1440], ["felt", 1440], ["almost", 1447], ["nothing", 1455], ["guilt", 1466], ["guilts", 1466], ["heartache", 1481], ["melancholy", 1497], ["overwhelming", 1516], ["emotion", 1524], ["sadness", 1536], ["long", 1555], ["longs", 1555], ["exist", 1563], ["existest", 1563], ["existed", 1563], ["know", 1586], ["knowest", 1586], ["known", 1586], ["go", 1600], ["goest", 1600], ["gone", 1600], ["hand", 1615], ["handed", 1615], ["business", 1628], ["brother", 1648], ["brethren", 1648], ["touch", 1667], ["touching", 1667], ["majority", 1685], ["majorities", 1685], ["friend", 1700], ["friends", 1700], ["shut", 1711], ["shutting", 1711], ["engine", 1727], ["climb", 1740], ["climbed", 1740], ["remove", 1765], ["removed", 1765], ["helmet", 1776], ["key", 1786], ["keyed", 1786], ["keyest", 1786], ["hide", 1810], ["hides", 1810], ["hidden", 1810], ["fake", 1823], ["rock", 1828], ["near", 1833], ["front", 1843], ["door", 1848], ["rooster", 1874], ["routinely", 1884], ["stop", 1892], ["stopped", 1892], ["check", 1904], ["place", 1917], ["give", 1926], ["update", 1938], ["updates", 1938], ["although", 1949], ["interested", 1980], ["put", 2002], ["market", 2026], ["mean", 2053], ["meanest", 2053], ["meant", 2053], ["return", 2063], ["returnest", 2063], 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when he reached the bottom step and looked for her , she was standing by the dimmer switch , still wrapped in the quilt . `` i wanted to make sure you were safely down before i did this . '' she reduced the light from the bedside lamps , and the constellations in the drapes and bedspread began to glow . `` geraldine must have showed you how that worked . '' we came up here at night so i could get the full effect . i thought it was lovely . '' she unwound the quilt and laid it on a nearby chair . even in the faint light , she was spectacular . `` not as lovely as you . '' a new surge of desire added a rasp to his voice . he dropped the clothes to the floor . there were other ways to pleasure each other , ways that would n't cause her discomfort . his cck stiffened . `` you seem to have reloaded . '' she walked toward him with confidence , as if she belonged here among the glowing constellations . her name was luna , after all . premonition ran a finger up his spine , and he trembled . until now , he 'd missed the connection . her name was luna , and he was fascinated by the night sky . a true scotsman never discounted such things . but a wise scotsman would n't mention it , in case this bonny lass might think he was daft and run in the opposite direction . he preferred having her move toward him , her brsts swaying gently with each step , her eyes alight , her mouth curved in a saucy smile . she stopped when she was inches away , and predictably , grasped the handle he 'd so conveniently provided . he could n't think at all when she was fondling his wee man . she cupped his balls with her free hand . `` virgins do n't usually do that , either . '' `` but you were twenty minutes ago . '' his breath caught as she began a slow massage . `` that 's hardly enough time to learn how to treat a chap 's family jewels . '' `` as i said , i 've had years to think about this . i 've also done some reading and watched a few x-rated movies . i just never had someone to practice on . '' `` that makes me one lucky bastard . '' `` which is better for a blw jb , sitting down or standing up ? i 've seen it both ways . '' his laugh had a strangled quality because he really could n't breathe properly while she played with him as if she 'd discovered a new squeeze toy . i 'd better sit on the bed . '' before he fell down . the pleasure was that intense , partly because he knew she 'd never touched anyone else this way . `` then back up a couple of steps and you 're there . '' `` you 're not going to let go , are you ? '' she kept a firm hold on him as he retreated to the bed . when he lowered himself to the mattress , she dropped to her knees and gazed up at him . `` tell me if i 'm doing this right , okay ? '' he nodded , but wondered if he 'd be too overcome by the experience to say a word . holding his cck in her fist , she slid her mouth over the tip and began to suck gently . he prayed to all the gods he knew that he would conduct himself in a way that would n't shock her . `` you ... can take more in . '' obligingly , she did that . holding her lips tight , she moved slowly up and down . meanwhile he went back to his football stats to keep from coming immediately . he had no idea if she was prepared for what would happen . he should warn her ... then she flattened her tongue against the front ridge of his penis and put added pressure there . where in bloody hell had she learned to do that ? he groaned and tried to remember where he 'd left off on the stats . his brain whirled and he began to shake . he was going to warn her about ... what ? `` when i ... when i come ... `` clutching the base of his cock , she gradually slid her mouth upward . when she lifted her head , she wrapped both hands around his shaft and held him the way a rock star cradled a microphone . `` when you come ... her voice was low and sexy . he glanced down and noticed her n**ples had tightened into tiny buds of desire , which meant this exercise was good for her , too . it meant she might want to do it again , but only if he made sure there were no surprises . he combed his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her head as he gazed into her eyes . `` you do n't have to swallow . '' `` bless your heart , '' she said softly as she continued to caress him . `` thinking of me . '' `` i wo n't be offended . '' `` but the thing is , i want to swallow . '' `` you might not like- '' `` the taste ? 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he looked so normal sitting there in front of me . if only he were a normal boy i could break up with and walk away from . the questions spilled out of my mouth . and leif started to open his mouth again when an angry sneer took its place . that most definitely did not look like the leif i knew . what had i said to set him off and , ohgod , do n't let him morph into a horrid demon . he roared and the buggy came to a stop . i took in my surroundings as leif stood up and jumped down from the buggy leaving me alone . the street lights were dim and the nice lit up mansions and busy streets we 'd been on earlier were gone . this was downright creepy . a hand grabbed my arm and i jerked around and screamed but it instantly died as dank pulled me up into his arms . `` it 's okay , '' he assured me and i let out a choked sob of relief . `` shhhh , i got you . `` yes , he bolted instead of facing me . he 's out-ranked pagan . nodding into his chest i wrapped my arms around his waist and inhaled his scent . i did n't care that he 'd hurt my feelings earlier . i 'd over-reacted . i just wanted to leave this place . `` let 's go home , '' he whispered in my ear . chapter nine dank `` you wo n't end this if you stay here huddled over her like some damn guard dog , '' gee grumbled from the chair that sat in the corner of pagan 's bedroom . i did n't even take the time to sneer at her . i could n't take my eyes off pagan as she lay sleeping in her bed . she was here with me and she was safe . the rage inside of me from having her snatched away right under my nose boiled . i 'd been lax in my dealings with these spirits but no more . they 'd messed with the wrong guy . the next soulless creature they sent near pagan would be ended . i would n't wait around to see what its intentions were . i would just end its existence . i 'd be starting with kendra . she would n't be another missing person . unlike the weak spirit lord i could make sure no one remembered her . i would n't have to wait until their souls all forgot she existed . it would be a clean excision . kendra should have vanished when leif did . it bothered me she was still around although she 'd caused no stir since his departure . i 'd watched her but she 'd acted as if she were the flighty air-headed cheerleader she had always been . not once had she approached pagan or tried to flirt with me in order to upset her . at least she had more sense than the one who created her and knew to leave me and mine alone . `` you have that 'i 'm going to kick someone 's ass ' snarl on your face , dankmar . gee demanded . i 'd almost forgotten gee 's presence in the room . she 'd been here when we returned worried about pagan . that was one thing i could say about gee . she was loyal to a fault , and pagan had managed to snare gee 's loyalty . now getting rid of her was the problem . `` kendra needs to go . soulless creatures have no place here and i do n't want her near pagan . '' the bitch should 've gone back when leif did . i 've been watching her at school and she is n't causing a problem but the fact remains she 's there . leif left her there for a reason . '' for once we agreed . but then when it came to pagan 's safety gee was always on board . pagan muttered in her sleep and rolled over onto her back . i watched in awe as her eyelashes fluttered against her high cheekbones . the plump bottom lip i adored was sticking out just a little as if she were pouting . dark silky locks of her hair fanned out around her on the pillow . everything about her was incredible . `` puhlease stop looking like a love sick puppy . it 's annoying as hell , '' gee teased . `` so , i 've gone from a guard dog to a love sick puppy . what is it with you and your canine descriptions ? '' gee laughed softly , `` i do n't know . maybe i need a dog . '' `` yeah , like that 's gon na happen . a transporter with a dog as a pet . where you going to board him while you 're working ? on cloud nine ? '' `` well , are n't you a barrel of laughs ? for your information i figure if they will let death have a human i can at least have a dog . '' i started to respond when pagan 's eyes blinked slowly and she opened them . i could see her pupils dilate as she tried to focus .	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as i hugged his pillow to my chest , i was wondering if i 'd finally pushed him away for good . if i did , i only had myself to blame . * * * the sun was rising when i awoke . flipping over on my back , i gasped when i saw stefan sitting on the side of the bed , leaning forward with his head in his hands . his clothes were wrinkled and his handsome face looked weary . i wanted so badly to touch him , but i was too afraid he 'd leave . `` hey , '' he repeated . his deep voice was husky and sounded tired . `` stefan , i should n't have run last night . i freaked out and did n't think . '' i plucked at the comforter with my fingers . glancing up at him , i reached out and covered his hand with mine . if i could go back and do it over again , i would . i 'll never run again . '' he squeezed my hand and pulled it away to trace the pendant around my neck . `` you are still afraid , vackra . '' everything i thought i knew has been turned upside down . not to mention i do n't always handle change well . '' i grabbed his hand and held it against my chest . `` this is my screwed up mind you 're dealing with . i 'm afraid of losing you , stefan . i 'm afraid kian will try to kill me or worse , kill you . '' `` i will never leave you , josephine , '' he assured me . `` no relationship is perfect and i have told you time and time again that we are in this together . you can not just run off and not talk to me . '' i guess i needed time to think and i did n't go about it in the right way . '' `` i thought you had left me , josephine . '' he lay down beside of me with his head on my pillow , our heads touching . his fingertips lightly stroked my face and his eyes swept over my face , as if committing it to memory . `` i would n't leave you , stefan . i just needed to leave reality for awhile . i had a few cups of espresso at chelsea market . '' `` you were in a coffee shop in chelsea ? you drowned your sorrows in over-priced tiny cups of coffee ? '' i nodded and huddled against his broad chest , which was now as warm against me . `` you befuddle me , josephine , '' he sighed softly . `` no more running from me . you not only ran from kian , vackra . you ran from what we have . '' he gestured between us , raising his eyebrows sternly . `` no more running , '' i agreed vehemently . he nodded and finally , his arms embraced me , overwhelming me with his ferociousness . it was like coming home , erasing all of my doubts and quieting the voices in my head . i peeked into his mind , and the fear and confusion he felt was overpowering . his thoughts were like mine last night , chaotic and conflicted . `` i spent the night staring out the windows , reflecting back over the last few weeks . i wondered if i made the right choice in finding you and exposing you to this life . i feel as if you never truly heard all the things i said to you , '' he said impassively against my hair . `` and not with your ears , with your heart . perhaps i have not told you what you needed to hear . '' `` stefan ... '' `` let me finish , '' stefan continued quietly . `` yet i am selfish . i realized that i would have continued to search for you regardless . i was on a mission to find you , the only thing i 've known for two centuries . there will never be another for me except you . however , i will let you go . i love for the first time in my long life , and i will not force you to give up who and what you are because i think i know what is best for you . '' craning my neck , i regarded him in a new light and with different eyes . possibly stefan was right . i 'd never really listened to him , not with my heart . it was if someone flicked on a light bulb in a dark room and i could see the light . stefan lifsten , in his almost 1,000 years on this earth , had said he 'd never loved anyone until he met me . he was willing to sacrifice it all to let me go . i single-handedly did the worst possible thing to him . i ran from him . he assumed the worst , figuring i 'd had enough and taken off . in his mind , i proved his theory right . what did i know about love ? i 'd never loved a man in a romantic way until stefan . most of my relationships failed even before they had a chance to begin . stefan and i were both stumbling through a relationship , a millennia old vampire and a hybrid vampire .	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`` if i do this , what 's in it for you ? deke said once you were hoping i 'd stick around for marriage and babies . '' he had the good grace to flash her a sheepish smile . `` i 'd love those things , and i think you 'd be perfect in our lives . but ultimately , if you disagree , i think you can at least help make deke whole . besides being my cousin , he 's also my best friend . '' and he did n't have to say that he loved deke as both a family member and a friend . concern and caring softened his dark gaze . kimber did n't need to think twice . `` then fill me in on the details . chapter 13 the summer afternoon baked inside jack 's swamp hideaway . deke 's shirt clung to his skin . it was humid , hot . and not just the weather . in deference to the heat-or just to drive him insane-kimber drifted around the kitchen dressed in a little white robe , so thin it was damn near see-through . auburn hair streamed down her back in soft waves that begged his fingers to tease them . the air of no-nonsense , afraid-of-nothing challenge that she wore like comfortable clothes turned deke on . that same quality infused her gaze now . half of him respected the hell out of her for it ; the other half wanted to show her exactly why she should lose the bravado and be very afraid . unfortunately , kimber was n't just unique , daring , or smart . she was downright mouthwatering , too . her peaches and cinnamon scent lingered every time he got near her . it made him hungry , hard . and he was getting damn weak . blowing out a shaky breath , he walked into the attached den to escape kimber 's come-hither stare and the temptation she represented . it was going to be a long few days or weeks until jack and logan could get to the bottom of the colonel 's bomb-setting freak . and until then , for her protection , deke knew that he , kimber , and luc were n't leaving this place . her sudden , sweet laugh carried across the room and snagged his attention again , latched onto his cock . resisting the urge to watch her was impossible . with a curse , deke turned back . she talked to luc , who , shirtless and smiling , chopped something deke assumed would be part of dinner eventually . and kimber was lapping up his every word , flirting , her gaze licking at the bulge of his shoulders , the solid slabs of his pecs . in return , luc nuzzled her neck , whispered something in her ear . kimber shivered and curled against his cousin . goddamnit , he did n't need this ! he did need this-sex-her . the reality was , she did n't need it . it was up to him to be the grown up and exercise control . save her from herself and what she only half understood . deke turned away and flipped on the tv , determined to distract himself and the erection screaming for her . whatever kimber and luc did , they could do alone . it was no big deal to him . if they wanted to make google eyes at each other , fine . but all through seinfeld , deke kept glancing over his shoulder . luc and kimber together ... it was n't fine . it was twisting his stomach , whipping up fury . the same old lies he 'd been telling himself were n't working anymore . luc finished chopping whatever green stuff he 'd been making into edible pieces and set it in a bowl . he stored it in the fridge , then closed the door with a sway of his h*ps and a salacious smile for kimber . if that was n't enough to make deke want to break something , luc drew her into his arms , his fingers making their way down her narrow back to the soft curve of her hips . then he kissed her , a sexy linger of lips on her neck , a slow layering of his mouth over hers . kimber melted , molding against him , arching her head back into his waiting hand and baring more of her graceful neck . luc took full advantage of her tempting skin under his lips and nibbled at her . she moaned in his arms . deke 's balls hurt . even his fingers hurt . he looked down to see that he was practically crushing the remote control . in the few minutes since they 'd distracted him , seinfeld had ended , replaced by friends . damn it , he could n't take this . with a curse , deke flipped off the tv and bounced to his feet . he opened his mouth to say ... what ? not say , do . march across the floor , drag kimber into his arms , and carry her off to the bedroom . his mind spun with that fantasy .	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["streaming", 920], ["back", 934], ["soft", 942], ["wave", 948], ["waved", 948], ["waves", 948], ["beg", 960], ["finger", 972], ["fingers", 972], ["tease", 981], ["air", 996], ["airs", 996], ["airing", 996], ["nonsense", 1011], ["afraid", 1020], ["nothing", 1031], ["challenge", 1041], ["wear", 1055], ["wore", 1055], ["like", 1060], ["comfortable", 1072], ["clad", 1080], ["clothe", 1080], ["clothes", 1080], ["turn", 1087], ["turned", 1087], ["quality", 1115], ["infuse", 1123], ["infused", 1123], ["half", 1143], ["respect", 1160], ["respected", 1160], ["hell", 1169], ["hells", 1169], ["show", 1219], ["exactly", 1231], ["lose", 1251], ["bravado", 1263], ["unfortunately", 1298], ["unique", 1327], ["daring", 1336], ["smart", 1347], ["downright", 1367], ["mouthwatering", 1381], ["peach", 1401], ["peaches", 1401], ["cinnamon", 1414], ["scent", 1420], ["scentest", 1420], ["linger", 1429], ["lingered", 1429], ["every", 1435], ["time", 1440], ["get", 1447], ["got", 1447], ["hungry", 1477], ["hard", 1484], ["get", 1505], ["getting", 1505], ["weak", 1515], ["blew", 1525], ["blow", 1525], ["blowest", 1525], ["blowing", 1525], ["shaky", 1537], ["breath", 1544], ["breathest", 1544], ["walk", 1556], ["walked", 1556], ["attach", 1574], ["attached", 1574], ["den", 1578], ["escape", 1588], ["escapes", 1588], ["come", 1603], ["hither", 1610], ["stare", 1616], ["stared", 1616], ["temptation", 1635], ["represent", 1651], ["representest", 1651], ["represented", 1651], ["go", 1666], ["goest", 1666], ["going", 1666], ["long", 1679], ["longs", 1679], ["day", 1688], ["days", 1688], ["week", 1697], ["weeks", 1697], ["logan", 1718], ["logans", 1718], ["get", 1728], ["bottom", 1742], ["bottoming", 1742], ["colonel", 1757], ["bomb", 1765], ["bombest", 1765], ["set", 1773], ["setting", 1773], ["freak", 1779], ["freaking", 1779], ["protection", 1817], ["know", 1829], ["knowest", 1829], ["knew", 1829], ["luc", 1856], ["left", 1873], ["leave", 1873], ["leaving", 1873], ["place", 1884], ["sudden", 1897], ["sweet", 1905], ["laugh", 1911], ["carry", 1919], ["carried", 1919], ["across", 1926], ["room", 1935], ["roomed", 1935], ["snag", 1947], ["snagged", 1947], ["attention", 1961], ["latch", 1977], ["latched", 1977], ["onto", 1982], ["ontos", 1982], ["cock", 1991], ["cockest", 1991], ["resist", 2003], ["resistest", 2003], ["resisting", 2003], ["urge", 2012], ["watch", 2021], ["impossible", 2040], ["curse", 2055], ["cursed", 2055], ["talk", 2087], ["talked", 2087], ["shirtless", 2112], ["smile", 2124], ["smiling", 2124], ["chop", 2134], ["chopped", 2134], ["assume", 2157], ["assumes", 2157], ["assumed", 2157], ["part", 2171], ["parting", 2171], ["dinner", 2181], ["eventually", 2192], ["lap", 2217], ["laps", 2217], ["lapping", 2217], ["word", 2235], ["lick", 2265], ["licking", 2265], ["bulge", 2278], ["shoulder", 2295], ["shouldered", 2295], ["shoulders", 2295], ["solid", 2307], ["slab", 2313], ["slabs", 2313], ["pec", 2325], ["return", 2337], ["returnest", 2337], ["nuzzle", 2351], ["nuzzles", 2351], ["nuzzled", 2351], ["neck", 2360], ["necked", 2360], ["whisper", 2372], ["whispered", 2372], ["ear", 2393], ["shiver", 2411], ["shivering", 2411], ["shivered", 2411], ["curl", 2422], ["curls", 2422], ["curled", 2422], ["goddamnit", 2453], ["sex", 2499], ["reality", 2517], ["exercise", 2594], ["control", 2602], ["save", 2609], ["understand", 2660], ["understanded", 2660], ["understood", 2660], ["away", 2679], ["flip", 2691], ["flipping", 2691], ["flipped", 2691], ["tv", 2701], ["distract", 2726], ["erection", 2751], ["scream", 2761], ["screams", 2761], ["screaming", 2761], ["whatever", 2780], ["alone", 2821], ["big", 2837], ["bigs", 2837], ["deal", 2842], ["google", 2881], ["googles", 2881], ["eye", 2886], ["eyed", 2886], ["eyes", 2886], ["fine", 2907], ["keep", 2946], ["keepest", 2946], ["kept", 2946], ["glance", 2955], ["glancing", 2955], ["shoulder", 2973], ["shouldered", 2973], ["together", 2999], ["twist", 3037], ["twisted", 3037], ["twisting", 3037], ["stomach", 3049], ["stomachs", 3049], ["stomaching", 3049], ["whip", 3060], ["whipping", 3060], ["fury", 3068], ["old", 3083], ["lay", 3088], ["lie", 3088], ["lain", 3088], ["lies", 3088], ["tell", 3107], ["telling", 3107], ["work", 3132], ["wrought", 3132], ["working", 3132], ["anymore", 3140], ["finish", 3155], ["finished", 3155], ["chop", 3164], ["chopping", 3164], ["green", 3179], ["greens", 3179], ["stuff", 3185], ["edible", 3215], ["piece", 3222], ["pieced", 3222], ["pieces", 3222], ["set", 3230], ["bowl", 3243], ["bowling", 3243], ["store", 3255], ["stored", 3255], ["fridge", 3272], ["close", 3286], ["closed", 3286], ["door", 3295], ["sway", 3307], ["swayed", 3307], ["salacious", 3335], ["enough", 3377], ["break", 3404], ["broke", 3404], ["draw", 3425], ["draws", 3425], ["drawn", 3425], ["drew", 3425], ["arm", 3443], ["arms", 3443], ["way", 3474], ["ways", 3474], ["narrow", 3490], ["curve", 3513], ["curved", 3513], ["hip", 3525], ["hips", 3525], ["kiss", 3542], ["kisses", 3542], ["kissest", 3542], ["kissed", 3542], ["sexy", 3555], ["linger", 3562], ["lingered", 3562], ["lip", 3570], ["lipped", 3570], ["lips", 3570], ["slow", 3591], ["layering", 3600], ["mouth", 3613], ["mouthed", 3613], ["melt", 3639], ["meltest", 3639], ["melted", 3639], ["mold", 3649], ["molding", 3649], ["arch", 3671], ["arching", 3671], ["head", 3680], ["wait", 3702], ["waitest", 3702], ["waiting", 3702], ["hand", 3707], ["graceful", 3739], ["take", 3755], ["took", 3755], ["full", 3760], ["advantage", 3770], ["advantaging", 3770], ["tempt", 3786], ["temptest", 3786], ["tempting", 3786], ["nibble", 3818], ["nibbling", 3818], ["nibbled", 3818], ["moan", 3838], ["moans", 3838], ["moanest", 3838], ["moaned", 3838], ["ball", 3866], ["balls", 3866], ["hurt", 3871], ["hurts", 3871], ["hurting", 3871], ["even", 3878], ["evens", 3878], ["look", 3907], ["looked", 3907], ["practically", 3943], ["crush", 3952], ["crushest", 3952], ["crushing", 3952], ["remote", 3963], ["remoted", 3963], ["minute", 3992], ["minutes", 3992], ["since", 3998], ["distract", 4017], ["distracted", 4017], ["end", 4042], ["ends", 4042], ["endest", 4042], ["ended", 4042], ["replace", 4053], ["replaced", 4053], ["friend", 4064], ["friends", 4064], ["take", 4094], ["bounce", 4152], ["bounced", 4152], ["foot", 4164], ["feet", 4164], ["open", 4176], ["opened", 4176], ["march", 4225], ["marching", 4225], ["floor", 4242], ["drag", 4249], ["carry", 4282], ["bedroom", 4305], ["mind", 4316], ["minding", 4316], ["spun", 4321], ["spin", 4321], ["fantasy", 4339]]
`` she arrived after i did , '' brad said . cherry shrugged and nodded . mandenauer stood at the window . something in his voice made me join him . there , behind the crowd that still peered in our direction , stood the big , black wolf . i could swear the thing was staring right at me , and as he did , the totem i 'd forgotten shifted and slid across my chest . the sound seemed to break the inertia . as we watched , the wolf melted into the trees . mandenauer asked . but i was already heading for the front door . we nearly ran into the emts as we left the house . i paused to tell them what had happened and what needed to happen . i stressed the latter . `` this guy needs that vaccine , '' i insisted . `` make sure he does n't go home without it . '' they nodded , but i had my doubts . this was still america , last time i checked , and mel did n't have to accept the vaccine if he did n't want to . i only hoped that cherry was as bitchy with him as she had been with me . i had a feeling she would be . mandenauer and i retrieved our rifles . he glanced at the crowd , then jerked his head toward the back of the house . `` we will take the long way around . '' he frowned at my gun . `` a winchester . '' `` where is the one i brought to you ? '' i like my own gun . i missed that wolf last night . i wo n't with this . '' he contemplated me for a moment , then shook his head . `` as you say ... he continued around the side of the house . the forest had spread into the backyard , as forests will . the lack of moonlight , the heavy cover of the branches , contributed to a near complete darkness . mandenauer threw me a bandolier of bullets . once again , i had to catch them or eat them . `` throwing things at me . '' i looped the bandolier over my shoulder . `` besides , i like my own ammo . '' i shook the box i 'd taken from the safe . bullets rattled , their number a comforting weight in my palm . `` mine are better . '' `` they were made for wolves . '' i fingered the shiny bullets in the bandolier . at least they were the right caliber . i expected him to scoff , if not laugh . instead , he narrowed his eyes and cocked his head . he opened his mouth to say ... i 'm not sure what ... and a long , mournful howl split the darkness , so close both of us jumped . mandenauer headed into the forest . with no moon to light the trail , we were forced to use a flashlight . flecks of blood on the dirt , a bush , a branch revealed the wolf that had bitten mel must have been cut by the window glass . but were the black wolf and the kamikaze one and the same ? the thought that we were following one wolf , with another following us , made me twitchy , and i longed for a nice , safe tree stand . mandenauer was another story . his step was spry . he was damn near skipping . i could feel the excitement rolling off him like a vapor . he stopped dead on the trail and i nearly bumped into his back . mandenauer stiffened , then slashed his hand across his neck in a violent gesture . i lifted one hand in surrender . okay , okay , i 'll shut up . i lowered my hand and spread it open and out indicating the question i 'd already asked : what ? he flicked a long , bony finger to the left , then to the right . the trail split here . he knelt and so did i . when he turned the light to the right , splatters of blood shone in a black wavering line across the dirt and leaves . he sniffed once , twice , then moved the beam to the left . a large , fresh pile of feces sat in the center of that trail . that appeared to be the wolf equivalent of `` na , na , na , na , na . '' mandenauer 's hand tightened on his rifle . he glanced at me and for the first time i saw true emotion in his eyes . he jabbed a finger at himself , then pointed down the trail to the left . he pointed me to the trail on the right . that sounded like a really , really bad idea . pointed again to the divergent trails . two of them , two of us . we had the guns . so why was n't i impressed ? in the end , i went to the right and mandenauer to the left . through sign language - every time i tried to whisper , he made that creepy throat-slashing movement - i understood we were to meet in an hour back at the house . if one of us found a wolf , he or she should shoot it . the other would hear the shot and follow the sound .	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436], ["tree", 451], ["treed", 451], ["treeing", 451], ["trees", 451], ["ask", 470], ["asked", 470], ["already", 490], ["head", 498], ["heading", 498], ["front", 512], ["door", 517], ["nearly", 529], ["run", 533], ["ran", 533], ["emts", 547], ["left", 558], ["leave", 558], ["house", 568], ["pause", 579], ["paused", 579], ["tell", 587], ["happen", 610], ["happened", 610], ["need", 626], ["needest", 626], ["needed", 626], ["happen", 636], ["stress", 649], ["stressed", 649], ["latter", 660], ["guy", 674], ["need", 680], ["needest", 680], ["needs", 680], ["vaccine", 693], ["insist", 709], ["insistest", 709], ["insisted", 709], ["sure", 724], ["go", 739], ["goest", 739], ["home", 744], ["homing", 744], ["without", 752], ["doubt", 794], ["doubts", 794], ["america", 819], ["americas", 819], ["last", 826], ["time", 831], ["check", 841], ["checked", 841], ["mel", 851], ["accept", 874], ["hope", 923], ["hoped", 923], ["bitchy", 949], ["feeling", 1000], ["retrieve", 1042], ["retrieved", 1042], ["rifle", 1053], ["rifles", 1053], ["glance", 1066], ["glanced", 1066], ["jerk", 1093], ["jerks", 1093], ["jerked", 1093], ["head", 1102], ["toward", 1109], ["back", 1118], ["take", 1149], ["long", 1158], ["longs", 1158], ["way", 1162], ["ways", 1162], ["around", 1169], ["frown", 1185], ["frowns", 1185], ["frowned", 1185], ["gun", 1195], ["winchester", 1213], ["bring", 1248], ["brought", 1248], ["like", 1267], ["miss", 1289], ["missed", 1289], ["night", 1310], ["wo", 1317], ["contemplate", 1352], ["contemplating", 1352], ["contemplated", 1352], ["moment", 1368], ["shake", 1381], ["shook", 1381], ["say", 1406], ["sayest", 1406], ["continue", 1423], ["continued", 1423], ["side", 1439], ["sidest", 1439], ["forest", 1465], ["spread", 1476], ["backyard", 1494], ["forest", 1507], ["forests", 1507], ["lack", 1523], ["moonlight", 1536], ["moonlights", 1536], ["moonlighted", 1536], ["heavy", 1548], ["heavies", 1548], ["heavier", 1548], ["cover", 1554], ["branch", 1570], ["branchest", 1570], ["branches", 1570], ["contribute", 1584], ["contributed", 1584], ["near", 1594], ["complete", 1603], ["darkness", 1612], ["throw", 1631], ["threw", 1631], ["bandolier", 1646], ["bullet", 1657], ["bullets", 1657], ["catch", 1687], ["catches", 1687], ["catched", 1687], ["eat", 1699], ["throw", 1718], ["throwing", 1718], ["thing", 1725], ["things", 1725], ["loop", 1745], ["looping", 1745], ["looped", 1745], ["shoulder", 1776], ["shouldered", 1776], ["besides", 1789], ["ammo", 1810], ["box", 1831], ["boxed", 1831], ["take", 1842], ["taken", 1842], ["safe", 1856], ["safes", 1856], ["safed", 1856], ["rattle", 1874], ["rattled", 1874], ["number", 1889], ["numbering", 1889], ["comfort", 1902], ["comforting", 1902], ["weight", 1909], ["weighted", 1909], ["weightest", 1909], ["palm", 1920], ["palms", 1920], ["palmed", 1920], ["palmest", 1920], ["well", 1941], ["wells", 1941], ["wolf", 1975], ["wolves", 1975], ["finger", 1991], ["fingered", 1991], ["shiny", 2001], ["shinier", 2001], ["least", 2037], ["leastest", 2037], ["caliber", 2065], ["expect", 2078], ["expected", 2078], ["scoff", 2091], ["scoffs", 2091], ["scoffed", 2091], ["laugh", 2106], ["instead", 2116], ["narrow", 2130], ["narrowed", 2130], ["eye", 2139], ["eyed", 2139], ["eyes", 2139], ["cock", 2150], ["cockest", 2150], ["cocked", 2150], ["open", 2171], ["opened", 2171], ["mouth", 2181], ["mouthed", 2181], ["mournful", 2237], ["howl", 2242], ["howls", 2242], ["howlest", 2242], ["split", 2248], ["close", 2272], ["jump", 2290], ["jumps", 2290], ["jumped", 2290], ["head", 2310], ["headed", 2310], ["moon", 2341], ["moons", 2341], ["lit", 2350], ["light", 2350], ["trail", 2360], ["force", 2377], ["forced", 2377], ["use", 2384], ["flashlight", 2397], ["fleck", 2406], ["flecks", 2406], ["blood", 2415], ["bloods", 2415], ["blooded", 2415], ["dirt", 2427], ["bush", 2436], ["bushed", 2436], ["branch", 2447], ["branchest", 2447], ["reveal", 2456], ["revealed", 2456], ["bite", 2481], ["bitten", 2481], ["must", 2490], ["musts", 2490], ["cut", 2504], ["glass", 2524], ["kamikaze", 2567], ["thought", 2598], ["follow", 2621], ["following", 2621], ["another", 2645], ["twitchy", 2676], ["long", 2691], ["longs", 2691], ["longed", 2691], ["nice", 2702], ["tree", 2714], ["treed", 2714], ["treeing", 2714], ["stood", 2720], ["stand", 2720], ["standest", 2720], ["story", 2751], ["step", 2762], ["spry", 2771], ["damn", 2785], ["damned", 2785], ["feel", 2814], ["excitement", 2829], ["roll", 2837], ["rolling", 2837], ["vapor", 2858], ["stop", 2871], ["stopped", 2871], ["dead", 2876], ["bump", 2909], ["bumpest", 2909], ["bumped", 2909], ["stiffen", 2946], ["stiffens", 2946], ["stiffened", 2946], ["slash", 2961], ["slashed", 2961], ["hand", 2970], ["neck", 2986], ["necked", 2986], ["violent", 2999], ["gesture", 3007], ["lift", 3018], ["lifted", 3018], ["surrender", 3040], ["surrenders", 3040], ["surrenderest", 3040], ["surrendering", 3040], ["okay", 3047], ["shut", 3067], ["lower", 3082], ["lowers", 3082], ["lowerest", 3082], ["lowered", 3082], ["open", 3109], ["indicate", 3128], ["indicating", 3128], ["question", 3141], ["flick", 3180], ["flickest", 3180], ["flicked", 3180], ["bony", 3194], ["finger", 3201], ["kneel", 3267], ["kneels", 3267], ["kneeled", 3267], ["turn", 3297], ["turned", 3297], ["splatter", 3332], ["splatters", 3332], ["shine", 3347], ["shone", 3347], ["shined", 3347], ["line", 3372], ["left", 3399], ["leave", 3399], ["leaves", 3399], ["sniff", 3412], ["sniffed", 3412], ["twice", 3425], ["move", 3438], ["moved", 3438], ["beam", 3447], ["large", 3469], ["fresh", 3477], ["freshest", 3477], ["pile", 3482], ["feces", 3491], ["sat", 3495], ["sit", 3495], ["center", 3509], ["appear", 3539], ["appeared", 3539], ["equivalent", 3565], ["na", 3574], ["nas", 3574], ["tighten", 3628], ["tightens", 3628], ["tightenest", 3628], ["tightened", 3628], ["rifle", 3641], ["first", 3678], ["firstest", 3678], ["see", 3689], ["saw", 3689], ["true", 3694], ["emotion", 3702], ["jab", 3726], ["jabs", 3726], ["point", 3761], ["pointed", 3761], ["sound", 3845], ["sounded", 3845], ["really", 3859], ["bad", 3872], ["idea", 3877], ["divergent", 3910], ["trail", 3917], ["trails", 3917], ["two", 3923], ["twos", 3923], ["gun", 3961], ["guns", 3961], ["end", 4003], ["ends", 4003], ["endest", 4003], ["go", 4012], ["goest", 4012], ["went", 4012], ["sign", 4067], ["language", 4076], ["languaged", 4076], ["every", 4084], ["try", 4097], ["tryed", 4097], ["tried", 4097], ["whisper", 4108], ["creepy", 4130], ["throat", 4137], ["slash", 4146], ["slashing", 4146], ["movement", 4155], ["understand", 4170], ["understanded", 4170], ["understood", 4170], ["meet", 4186], ["meeted", 4186], ["hour", 4197], ["find", 4236], ["found", 4236], ["shoot", 4268], ["shooted", 4268], ["hear", 4294], ["hears", 4294], ["shot", 4303], ["follow", 4314]]
but this stunning pleasure-pain ... she could almost hate him for giving this to her , making her vulnerable , but she needed him too much . `` please , sir , may i have another ? `` will you consider your safety more carefully in the future ? '' she would have said anything for his next touch . `` will you trust me to take care of you ? '' he rubbed his hot palm across her ass . his body jerked , and kata heard the whistle of his hand as it whipped through the air . she braced herself , but nothing could prepare her for the final blow , again in the center of her right cheek . an inferno blasted across her skin . tingles sparked from her reddened flesh down , brutally invading her psy . need coiled tighter . she hovered on the edge of an orgasm that was both terrifying and essential . without it , she 'd die . `` please , hunter , sir . please ... '' her entire body jolted , shuddered , pinging with a towering , unrelieved desire she 'd never felt in her life . without warning , he released her wrists , lifted her , then rolled her over . her sore rear rested on his chafing denim . she hissed at the sharp sensation , wishing it was enough to send her over . it only sent her higher . kata lifted her frantic gaze to him . the unmistakable lust in his eyes added more fuel to her fire . every moment , every breath , teemed with his possessive fury . hunter settled a palm on her knee , then slowly slid it up her thigh , his thumb achingly close to her psy . she whimpered and thrust her hps to him . `` will you ever forget that ? '' his thumb grazed her slick flesh , whispering just over her hard , demanding clit . `` no , '' she mewled . `` will you ever disobey me like this again ? '' to feel these million racing sensations again ... this sublime journey into another realm where hunter put this mind-blowing stamp of possession on her ? for that , she 'd do nearly anything to please-or provoke-him . she closed her eyes , sinking into the drowning pool of need . `` look at me , kata . '' the second her eyes fluttered open , he murmured , `` now come . '' then he slapped her mound , right above her clit . it was everything she 'd ached for and needed . kata let loose a guttural scream as pleasure drew up , in , blood swelling her flesh until she exploded in ecstasy . her body jerked as she unraveled . and hunter forced his hand between her legs again , circling her clit , prolonging the staggering clenching of her womb , until she could no longer think or breathe or do anything but feel rapture pour over her . though he had yet to be inside her , she felt utterly possessed . he grounded her , became her reality . in the haze of pleasure , his body , his arms , were the only things that seemed real to her . she met his gaze helplessly , losing herself in the commanding blue fire of his eyes . needing something to hang on to , she grabbed his shirt and silently pleaded with him . in response , he shoved two fingers into the tight clasp of her sex , his thumb working her sensitive nub , and shoved her over another towering cliff of pleasure . after kata eked out the last whimper of need , she opened her eyes . hunter leaned over her , knuckles brushing her cheeks and wiping her tears away . yes , and she still sobbed as the power of their shared moment hit her all over again . hunter had taken her apart and turned her inside out , opened her up in a way that left her both terrified and exhilarated . though limp and weeping in his lap , she felt inexorably tied to him , body and heart , in a way she 'd never been connected to anyone in her life . gently , he dried her tears again , then lifted her , setting her on her knees between his thighs . `` i need you , honey . '' kata glanced up into his tight , flushed face . his need was apparent and compelling , just like the hard bulge beneath his zipper . as she basked in afterglow , the urge to please him totally sank into her bones . for some reason , she knew she would not breathe easily again until he was every bit as satisfied as she . the feeling was foreign and illogical but undeniable . with trembling fingers , she worked his zipper , looking to him for approval . desire flared in his eyes . hunter 's heavy breaths punctuated the rasp of his zipper as she lowered it . as she worked his jeans and briefs down , hunter stood . kata shifted at his feet , squarely onto her knees , and stripped his garments down his lean legs . he kicked them across the room as he tore off his shirt , leaving his muscled chest , washboard abs , and every amazing inch of his cck bare .	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from what i read on the internet , i was dehydratedwhich made total sense , but i still needed at least one more pint . i finally had to give up , it just was n't going to happen tonightmaybe in the morning . i drank the rest of the pitcher of water and waited for mom to go to bed . once i was sure she was asleep , i headed downstairs for another energy drink , my cooler and some more ice . i lined the cooler with a towel to keep the ice from making any noise when i poured it in . the energy drink helped , so i sat down at the table and started on another one . sometime later , i was awaken by a slight tapping at the kitchen window . i tiptoed to the back door and let him in . `` i 'm here for the bloodyou do n't look so good . '' i 'm sorry , but i could n't get the last one tonight , i 'm going to get it in the morning . i have two upstairs , but the other two are at school . '' `` coach let me use his frig . '' `` you want me to get it tonight ? '' `` no , no need for you all to put yourselves through that . i 'll get it tomorrow after school and meet you at your place with all five pints . '' tink nodded . `` you finalize a plan of action yet ? '' tink picked up on my disappointment . `` do n't worry , we will come up with something . '' i reached out to pat him on the shoulder for supportnext thing i know , tink is laying me down on my bed . i need to set the alarmyou would n't know how to '' tink glanced at the digital clock and shook his head . `` that 's okay , i can manage . '' i rolled over and set my alarm for four-thirty in the morning just in case i needed extra time . i had to be able to draw the blood this time . `` tink , could you get the cooler from downstairs ? '' by the time i drug out my makeshift cooler from under the bed , tink was back with the cooler . i carefully unwrapped the sweatshirts and retrieved the bag of blood . tink opened the cooler and i set the bag on the ice . tink took my sweatshirts and the bag of water to the window . he tossed the water and wrung out the sweatshirts . the cold air shot through me like a knife . `` i 'll see you tomorrow afternoon . '' tink nodded and stepped out onto the roof , pressed the window closed and then jumped . i dropped my head back onto my pillow . i hate that i 'd delayed izzy 's rescue , but we had to get this right , i doubted that there would be a second chance . * * * the alarm sounded in the dark room . i slapped the silence button as quick as i could . i made a quite trip to the bathroom , drank two glasses of water and ran hot water over my wriststhere was one more place to try to get a vein . once back in my room , i got out the medical stuff from under my bed . i was lucky this time and hit the vein on the back of my wrist on the second try . while i was lucky to hit it , the blood drained very slowlytoo slowly . while i waited , i drank my last energy drink . i had to lay down , sip it and concentrate on staying conscious . i could literally feel the energy draining from my body . this was what elizabeth had warned me about . i kept having to shake my head to remain conscious and when the bag was only three-quarters full i had to stop . i was n't worried about what might happen to me , but if i messed this up and did n't get the blood to the faulkners , izzy would n't be rescued and she had to be rescued . once i was finished , i got dressed and went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth . one look in the mirror confirmed i 'd never get past mom , so i snuck downstairs . it was tough going , i just could n't control the spinning . before i headed for the rover , i wrote mom a note . 'i will probably be late this afternoon , but do n't worry even though i know you will . we 'll be safe , i promise . luv , jason ' i made it to the rover , but once behind the wheel driving looked impossible . there was no other choice , so i shook off as much of the delirium as i could and started the engine . the light in mom 's room came on before i got the rover in gear , but i managed to navigate the driveway and head toward school . i hated leaving mom like that , but she knew how important this wasshe would n't have given me so much rope if she did n't trust me . i was definitely lucky in the parent department . on the way to school , i ran off the road at least twice and i 'm pretty sure i ran a red light .	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now jade was already past the need for a nursery , and she and stephen would n't have any more children . the thought inexplicably depressed her , just as the entire day had been an emotional maelstrom for her . after the wedding reception , she and stephen had headed back to his estate and put a very tired jade to bed . jade had promptly fallen asleep in her new bedroom , down the hall from hers and stephens . there had n't been time to move all their possessions from the coral gables house to stephens place before the wedding , but since shed already paid the current months rent , she knew she had some time to move out though she 'd given notice shed be giving up the lease . with any luck jade would settle right into their new routine . she 'd still drop jade off at preschool , and tiffany would pick her up and babysit until megan or stephen got home from work . her thoughts were interrupted by stephen 's appearance in the open doorway of the connecting bathroom . his eyes were shadowed in the low lighting afforded by her bedside lamp , and though she could n't read his expression , her breath caught . she dropped the bouquet of roses onto the bed . `` even if i did . asking you would be like asking a wolf to shepherd a lamb . '' he flashed a smile and sauntered into the room . `` are you a lamb ? '' `` you 're dressed in white ... but not devoid of sin from what i recall . '' she tossed her hair , and moved to the bureau to remove her watch and earrings . `` spoken like a true scholar of the subject . '' `` what do you want , stephen ? '' `` in a word , you . '' a tremor went through her at his words , despite her best attempts to steel herself against him . `` do i already need to remind you this is a marriage in name only ? '' 'i 'm a patient man . i 'm willing to wait for the pleasure of seeing you in that lingerie i sent you earlier in the week . '' he moved up behind her and his hands clasped her shoulders . she stared at their image in the mirror in front of her . she could feel the imprint of his body behind her the male heat emanating from him and branding her . she picked up his masculine scent , one she recognized from four years ago and one which predictably awakened her senses . he bent his head to nuzzle her neck , and her body reacted to remembered passion , as well as the image of the two of them together in the mirror . his dark good looks were a perfect foil for her red hair and pale creamy skin . his hands stroked up and down her arms , his mouth caressing the curve of her neck , then the shell of her ear ... and the wisps of hair at her temple . always teasing her . her ni**les hardened , thrusting against the fabric of her gown . she felt herself succumbing to him with mind-numbing ease , pulled under by a seductive undertow . she turned in his arms , breaking free and intent on telling him off but his mouth claimed hers before she could speak . his lips moved over hers , taking control of the kiss , slipping past her barriers to touch her tongue with his and invite her to duel with him . mate with him . her defenses came crashing down as the past stormed back to greet them in all its passion and unfettered need . his mouth moved over hers with greater urgency , and his hands roamed her back , bringing her closer to the flame of his desire . she felt his erection press against her . sexual need ate at her . it was even hotter than before . even hotter than she remembered . she felt his hand at her back , tugging the zipper of her gown downward . with a last desperate effort , she pulled her mouth from his and pushed away from him . he took deep breaths , his eyes dilated from arousal . her breaths matched his and she ached all over . especially in her heart . she hugged the sagging bodice of her dress to her . he reached for her again , and she took a step back . `` you ca n't deny we both want it . '' 'i 'm wise enough to know now that wanting does n't mean having '' they locked eyes , and she watched his expression shutter . `` one of these days , you 're going to realize you 're not the only one who 's changed in the past four years , '' he said evenly . they both stood there for a moment , not moving , before he strode out of the room . she watched him leave , fighting to slow her pulse . then she turned toward the vanity table to pick up her brush-and the broken pieces of her shattered four-year-old control . stephen arrived home on monday to relieve the babysitter . he and megan had decided to try out staggering their workdays as much as possible so that one of them would almost always be with jade and they 'd use their babysitter only to fill in small gaps .	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its her agency and her boss , daniel explained patiently . the best pr agency in the whole of the us , actually , and probably in the world , just so you know . the one you hooked up with ? i dont know how you handle this , bro , lyndsay said . handle what , exactly ? their bullshit , what do you think ? you know , her asking about susan like she cared about pregnant women . what does she know about having babies ? probably as much as you do , daniel pointed out without malice . look , she was trying to be nice . make a conversation . people do that , you know ? immortals , too . why are you judging her , without knowing anything about her ? i know shes immortal , what else do i need to know ? you liked her when you first met her , daniel reminded . right up to the point you found out she wasnt a mortal . dont you think people deserve a chance before they are written off ? i happen to know her much better than you and i can tell you now she is a decent person . ive worked with her for over six months and shes been great . lyndsay sighed . fuck , have you got a crush on her or something ? dont be ridiculous , sis . shes my business associate . id appreciate if you remembered that the next time you speak to her . ok , im sorry , ok ? i just know how much shit we get from them . its hard not to think of them all as assholes . well , please try . but only because its for you , big bro . amaranthine made her way back to the hotel room . her own room , the one she had rented out under her name but didnt spend a minute in it until now . her and daniel did it everywhere they stayed reserve two hotel rooms but stay in only one . it was their routine , their way of keeping their relationship officially professional . even if they didnt care about people guessing that there was something going on between them , they werent quite ready to make it official , either . until now , amari hadnt given it much thought , she was too busy enjoying her time with daniel and juggling work and their relationship . but meeting lyndsay was a strange wake up call . the topic of his family came up then and again in various conversations , so she knew that apart from his brother gerry , he had two sisters and a little niece . he never spoke about them at length , but it was obvious he was close to them . she never met any of them apart from gerry , and she didnt expect to , either . the way she saw it , they belonged to a different world , a world daniel occasionally visited on his own , but he always came back to her and that was his real life . for her , he was a part of her world , the world of immortals , even if he wasnt biologically immortal . his biological status didnt matter at the moment , the moment they lived in . she knew that one day theyd have to face it , discuss it , make a decision . but all she wanted now was to delay this moment as long as possible . for once in her life she allowed herself to be spontaneous , to feel real emotions , to trust someone entirely and completely , and not restrict her desires in any way . daniel brought out the whole new side of her that shed kept hidden all her life , or maybe didnt even know she had . until the day he came and saved her life , giving her another chance to live it to the full . she took that chance and even if she knew deep inside that their relationship could only last so long , she refused to think about it and they never discussed it . they avoided the topic so carefully that they almost managed to convince themselves that it didnt exist . but now it was brutally catching up on them , and amari knew that the time of denial was coming to an end . they cant go on like this forever , without acknowledging and facing the inevitable truth . the truth that the life choices they made and the values behind them were so fundamentally different that they could never be together . she knew he wanted children , something she considered unthinkable . to bring a new life into this planet and take full responsibility for it ? responsibility for the whole other being , at the same time giving up her own life and condemning herself to ageing and , ultimately , death ? it was beyond her imagination . not to mention she would never violate her fathers will . why , oh why did his sister have to come and force them to think about the differences between them ? why couldnt they have more time together to just enjoy each others company ? eikos mental signal snapped her out of her reverie . it was time to go to the meeting , which , to make things worse , she had to chair . she quickly went over to daniels room , gathered her things and dumped them on the bed back in her own room . she went back again , making sure that any evidence of her staying there with daniel was erased .	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but he also could n't spend his life eating rolls of antacid and wondering if she 'd made it through the day alive . even if he cut himself out of her life , she would always be there in his head , as she was now , earpiece or not . kelly had become a part of him no amount of distance could slice free . which left him with only one option . ethan crumpled the note from samantha in his hand . he would decide after the meeting if kelly needed to know the results of what he learned . for now , he would get through this assignment . do whatever it took to keep kelly alive . then come hell or high water , when the clock struck twelve on kelly 's cinderella mission , hatch would have two resignations on his desk . chapter 14 kelly raced up the stairs to ethan 's apartment , too jazzed to wait until supper to meet him as they 'd arranged . every step pumped her excitement from work up another notch . she planned to entice ethan out of whatever had brought on his bad mood and celebrate . god , she loved her job . the whole day at aries trying out equipment had been a blast . she 'd worked the ops-support end for two years , all but salivating when others donned the high-tech tools of their trade . aries had the best of the best , thanks to their unlimited black ops budget . nowhere in the world were operatives better outfitted . and now she was one . what would hatch have for her next ? restless energy charged through her . she wanted the next days to whiz past . would ethan 's walls come down or double in height ? her feet faltered on the landing . kelly punched in the code to ethan 's alarm and let herself inside . he 'd said he needed time to shower and change . well , she planned to surprise him in the shower and change his attitude . the silent apartment greeted her . strolling through the kitchen , she trailed her fingers along the rim of his coffee cup where his mouth had rested . a poor substitute for the man 's kiss , especially when she would likely spend another lonely night in his bed while he sacked on the couch if she did n't make some headway . no answer , not even the sound of a shower . a tingle started up her spine , a newly developed sixth sense she 'd developed over the past two weeks . he 'd left her alone . he rarely did that anymore , always insisting they stick together . overprotective lout . so what was he doing now ? kelly bolted away from the table and up the stairs to the computer loft . time to use some of those skills he 'd taught her . dropping into his chair , she clicked through the grounds surveillance commands until she found him . and delmonico 's ambassador pro-tem , samantha barnes . his former girlfriend . sitting on a lounger together by the indoor pool , ethan beside the cool beauty , his head ducked close to hers . those old insecurities kicked in with a vengeance . samantha barnes was everything kelly had once dreamed of being . the stunning redhead was brilliant , confident and an acting ambassador of an important american ally in an unstable region . kelly halted the green-eyed monster in its tracks . ethan may have cut a wide swath through the female population , but always one at a time for as long as she 'd known him . she trusted his innate sense of honor enough to know he would completely set her free first . and he had n't done that . she clicked through computer keys to try and up the volume , but ethan had chosen to talk by the swishing hot tub . if she had higher tech skills in this arena , she could probably weed through the interference . why was he meeting with samantha so late when she should be resting up for the major embassy function in the works ? samantha 's job as ambassador pro-tem to delmonico . kelly straightened . while samantha did n't know about ethan 's aries status , she did know he had intelligence connections . the meeting was business . relief threatened to swamp her . more emotion than she wanted right now when she did n't know how ethan felt . kelly stared at the computer screen , taking in the two heads bowed close together , deep in conversation . she might not be jealous . but she was mad as hell . tangible and a lot less painful than what she 'd experienced when he announced he 'd be sleeping on the sofa . how dare he pull a stunt like this ? kelly considered racing down there and simply entering the meeting as if she 'd been called to participate . except he might leave before she arrived . her eyes slid to the telephone . ethan 's first lesson in field craft drifted through her mind . sometimes the simplest answers worked the best . he always carried a cell phone in his pocket . kelly reached for the receiver , never taking her eyes off the computer screen .	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he spoke in arabic , the same language that would bind piper to them in mere minutes . it was a language she did n't understand in the least , making everything so much easier , especially since her consent was n't required for thirty days . by then they would have wrapped her in pleasure and luxury , and she would never leave them . `` thank you both for coming and for your discretion . my brothers and i would love to keep this quiet until the actual wedding day . if the press got hold of this , our bride could be hurt , and we would like to avoid that . '' he spoke in arabic as well . `` we all agree . and no matter what khalil says , she 's a perfect queen . i 've found her to be incredibly intelligent , and she has an endearing manner . she can be taught to deal with the press . '' fucking khalil . he cursed the day his cousin had been elected to a seat in parliament . he 'd been a pain in tal 's ass ever since . `` is his chief objection that she 's a commoner ? '' tal knew what his real objection was , that she would ensure the al mussad line continued to rule . but khalil needed a logical argument , so he 'd tried to invent one . `` i believe he 's upset that she 's an american . some suggest they already have too much influence here . between black oak oil and your security team , you surround yourself with americans , your highness . '' `` and americans have saved our asses time and time again . i 'm not going to let my cousin 's bigotry influence my security force or my choice of a bride . as for going into business with black oak , no one complains when the shareholder checks come in . '' there were some in bezakistan who lived off shareholder checks alone . it was a moot point . `` can we finish the ritual quickly ? i have a bride to claim . '' the other men laughed , and the prime minister nodded . his cck hardened at the thought of piper nakd in his bed , spread out for his pleasure . not that it spent much time in a relaxed position anymore . since piper had come to the palace , tal found himself in a constant state of arousal . he glanced back and found his brothers each watching piper with a hungry look in their eyes . she was in for an interesting night . he reached out , gesturing for piper to come forward . both of his brothers tensed , well aware of the gravity of the moment . `` piper , my dear , come here . i would like for you to meet his honor , judge nejem and you 've met prime minister al feid . '' her smile was wide with none of the easy pretension of a longtime socialite . `` it 's so good to see you again , prime minister . and your honor , it 's a pleasure . '' judge nejem took her hand in both of his , his eyes getting a little misty . `` she reminds me of my own sweet girl , '' he said in arabic . kade stepped up . `` sorry , habibti , the judge only speaks arabic , but he 's pleased to meet you as well . he says you remind him of his daughter . she 's a lawyer following in her father 's footsteps . '' piper blushed . `` please tell him he honors me . '' the judge spoke the queen 's english with a perfect accent , but now he merely nodded and played his part . tal kept piper 's hand in his while judge nejem spoke to the brothers , intoning the ancient words that would bind them together . `` princes of the desert , do you take this woman as your concubine with the promise to make her your wife in thirty days should she assent ? do you promise to make her the center of your world , the sun that warms your family ? do you promise to protect her and ensure her happiness ? '' kade stepped forward , placing his hand on piper 's shoulder . he was solemn as he replied in his mother tongue . `` i do so promise . '' piper looked around as though figuring out something important was happening . she frowned , but remained silent . `` i do so promise , '' rafe said , pressing a kiss to her temple . his throat felt almost unaccountably swollen . he had to push the words out . the judge squeezed her hand . take your concubine . bind her to you . make her long to be your wife . i will be back in thirty days for her answer . the best of luck to you all . '' he let piper 's hand go and nodded , turning and walking out . `` uhm , did i offend him ? '' the prime minister laughed , the sound booming . `` absolutely not , dear . he welcomed you to bezakistan . he was honored to meet you . your highness , please let me know if i can help you in any way . 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`` keep studying spirit with her and then ... do whatever else you were doing the last time you were in college ... . '' `` drinking and skipping classes , '' said nathan . `` art , '' said daniella . `` adrian took art classes . '' somehow , i could imagine him as an artistic type . it fit his erratic personality . `` then this would be perfect . you could pick it up again . '' he shrugged and finished his second glass of wine . this college would probably have the same problem the last one did . '' `` adrian , '' growled his father . `` it 's okay , '' said adrian breezily . he rested his arm casually on the table . `` i do n't really need a job or extra money . after rose and i get married , the kids and i 'll just live off of her guardian paycheck . '' we all froze , even me . i knew perfectly well that he was joking . i mean , even if he harbored fantasies of marriage and kids ( and i was pretty sure he did n't ) , the meager salary a guardian made would never be enough to keep him in the luxurious life he required . adrian 's father , however , clearly did not think he was joking . daniella seemed undecided . me , i was just uncomfortable . it was a very , very bad topic to bring up at a dinner like this , and i could n't believe adrian had gone there . i did n't even think the wine was to blame . adrian just liked tormenting his father that much . the awful silence grew thicker and thicker . my gut instinct to fill conversation voids was raging , but something told me to stay quiet . the tension increased . when the doorbell rang , all four of us nearly jumped out of our chairs . the housekeeper , torrie , scurried off to answer it , and i breathed a mental sigh of relief . an unexpected visitor would help ease the tension . torrie cleared her throat when she returned , clearly flustered as she looked from daniella to nathan . `` her royal majesty queen tatiana is here . '' all three ivashkovs stood up abruptly , and a half second later , i joined them . i had n't believed adrian earlier when he said tatiana might come . from his face , he seemed pretty surprised now too . but sure enough , there she was . she swept into the room , elegant in what must have been business casual for her : tailored black slacks and jacket with a red silk and lace blouse underneath . little jeweled barrettes gleamed in her dark hair , and those imperious eyes peered down at us all as we offered hasty bows . even her own family followed formalities . `` aunt tatiana , '' said nathan , forcing what looked like a smile onto his face . i do n't think he did it very often . i 'm on my way to meet with priscilla but thought i 'd stop by when i heard adrian had returned . '' `` i ca n't believe you 've been here all day and did n't come visit . '' her voice was cool , but i swear there was an amused twinkle in her eyes . she was n't someone i thought of as warm and fuzzy . the whole experience of seeing her outside of one of her ceremonial rooms was totally unreal . adrian grinned at her . he was clearly the most comfortable person in the room right now . for reasons i never understood , tatiana loved and spoiled adrian . that was n't to say that she did n't love her other family members ; it was just clear that he was her favorite . it had always surprised me , considering what a scoundrel he was sometimes . `` aw , i figured you had more important things to do than see me , '' he told her . `` besides , i quit smoking , so now we wo n't be able to go sneak cigarettes out behind the throne room together . '' chastised nathan , turning bright red . it occurred to me then that i could have based a drinking game around how many times he exclaimed his son 's name disapprovingly . `` auntie , i 'm sor -- '' tatiana held up a hand again . `` oh , be silent , nathan . no one wants to hear it . '' being in the same room with the queen was horrid , but it was almost worth it to see her verbally bitch-slap lord ivashkov . she turned back to adrian , face thawing . `` you 've finally quit ? i suppose this is your doing ? '' it took me a moment to realize she was speaking to me . until that point , i 'd kind of hoped she might not have even noticed me . it seemed the only explanation for her not screaming at them to remove the rebellious little blood whore . her voice was n't accusatory , either . it was ... impressed . `` w-well , it was n't me , your majesty , '' i said . my meekness was a far cry from my behavior at our last meeting .	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many are sung in church today . masculine hands gracefully flipped through the pages , stopped , and pointed . this is one of the fascinating things about the bible . his boyish grin illuminated the love hed once had for this book . whenever you read l-o-r-d in capital letters it means gods special name , yahweh . though his people constantly rebelled against him , they refused to write or speak gods name out of fear . his head tilted back and wide brown eyes gawked . im not afraid of god . if youre not scared hell strike you dead , then show me the other song . she smirked as he stuttered . her point had hit home . joni , its psalms not songs , and im not scared . an older version of sara wearing a comfortable-looking gown and robe stared at the bible in jonis lap . the intruder gasped . moisture swelled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks . joni winced and closed her eyes , pretending to be anywhere but here . beside her , james groaned . mom , its not what it looks like . joni swallowed the odd lump in her throat . she closed the bible and stood . the words of apology wouldnt pass her lips . youre reading the bible . the smile removed ten years from jamess mothers face . jonis just curious . he claimed her hand and pulled her toward the door . mrs. preston laughed softly . this is isaacs girlfriend ? i thought he had a play date at the park . james tugged joni out the door . nice to meet you , dear . jamess mother called behind them . blinking mutely , joni allowed him to lead her down the stairs . outside in the night air , he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the truck . climbing in through the drivers side , she found her voice . i cant believe your mom saw me in your room . i feel like im sixteen again when paul caught me swiping a drink of daddys bourbon . trembling hands covered her face as she sunk down in the seat . joni , its okay . youre a hero in her eyes . he pried one hand away and grinned . he started the truck and backed out of the driveway . her favorite jeans . i promise shes not mad . she heard me reading the bible . its like her dream come true . by now shes picturing a halo around your head and wings on your back . she traced the gold-embossed lettering on the black leather book . james stopped for a traffic light and kissed her . i forgot my pants in your bathroom . ~~~ although isaac was four , james had been a father for less than seven months . during that time , convincing him to go to sleep hadnt gotten any easier . james glanced at the digital hotel clock on the end table . according to the schedule mrs . dawn insisted isaac adhere to , bedtime was forty minutes late . tomorrow , the millwrights wife would have to deal with his crankiness . james tucked the covers under isaacs chin and kissed his soft cheek . he crossed the short distance to the mini fridge and grabbed his second longneck of the night . reclining on the empty bed , he twisted off the cap and swigged . two beers was his limit , unless hed had a particularly rough day , then he upped his ante to three . flipping through the channels revealed the same old , same old . he let the news anchor rattle on while he reached for his phone . over two hundred miles and nine weeks separated him and joni . would she wait that long ? or would trent convince her otherwise ? james didnt want to wake her if she was asleep , so he texted . her reply whispered in his ear as if she was in the room . my big brother is a pest . greek life is not what i thought . frat boys could be trouble when they didnt get what they wanted . he should know ; he used to be one of them . you want me to tell him to leave you alone ? thanks but he finally took no for an answer . me and marla went to your church weds night . they werent as lively as the tent people but everyone was nice . including your mother . she insisted we sit with her . thanks for the bible . i read it every night . i love the notations you made along the sides . helps me to understand the meaning . hed forgotten about the notes hed made during sermons . for a brief moment , his mind wandered back to the night in his room when theyd read the bible . his arm around her . her breath on his cheek . the one thing he missed most from his christian days was the time he spent alone in the word . did joni feel a connection with god as she read ? knowing she read his words along with gods drew james closer to her .	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im wearing heels today , so his face is level with my crotch . he reaches out , and deliberately pushes my skirt up my thighs . higher , higher , until its bunched around my waists and im totally exposed to him , the silk of my panties already damp between my thighs . vaughn teases a finger around the band , pulling them down . i shudder at his touch . he looks up at me with a smirk . wear these when i fuck you . then without another word , he leans in and grasps the front of my panties in his teeth , yanking them down and letting them fall in a heap around my feet . then he takes my ankles in each hand , lifting my feet free of my panties and pushing them apart so im spread wide to him . hold on , he says . lock your knees so you dont fall . i gasp for air , reaching up to cling onto the edge of the bookcase . i should say something , do something . i cant believe im doing this : naked from the waist-down in the back aisle of the law library . anyone could come looking for a book back here . anyone could see me like this , him kneeling between my thighs , his hands sliding up the inside of my legs . so totally hot . in our game of bluffs , vaughn is totally winning right now . i close my eyes and tilt my head back . no , watch , he orders . i snap my eyes open again . i want you to watch me lick your pussy , he says , his eyes still fixed on mine . he slips his hand between my legs and lightly strokes over my wetness . i gasp , my whole body trembling at his touch . i want you to watch me fuck you with my tongue . pleasure crashes through me . already my body is shaking as vaughn teases me , rubbing softly around my entrance , over my clit , back down lower again . say it , he orders . his thumb swirls around my clit again , but its not enough , im already aching , desperate for more . saying it would be admitting defeat , waving a white flag before plummeting into a totally new universe . but as i hesitate , the pressure against me eases and i stifle a cry . vaughn is waiting , watching me with that detached , powerful gaze . my whole body is beating with impatience now , swaying towards his hand . if i say it , hell win . i look down at him , just inches from me and i feel another surge of anticipation . touch me , i gasp . please , i need your mouth . vaughn dips his head and licks up against me , hot and wet against my clit . i cry out , clamping one hand over my mouth to muffle the sound as his tongue laps and probes , over and over , an agonizingly sweet pressure . hes ravenous , devouring me , sucking at the tender flesh , then licking lower , swirling around my entrance and plunging his tongue deep inside me . my legs give way , i sink against him , but he just pulls my legs around his neck , lifting me up as if i weigh nothing and slamming me back against the bookcase . his tongue plunges deeper inside me and god , i can feel the wave already , cresting higher , lightening in my veins . suddenly , a shiver rolls down my body that has nothing to do with vaughn : a shock of unease , like someones watching us . i glance around , my heart racing , but were alone in the stacks . i cant see anyone , and -- oh ! vaughn shifts me , licking back up to my clit , and fuck , now hes plunging two fingers deep inside where his tongue once was , stretching me , curving up higher , fucking me in a relentless rhythm as his tongue laps at my clit . i forget everything , i cant take it , the sensation crashes over me , its too much . i struggle in his arms but his grip on me wont let up . he laps harder , faster , forcing a third finger into my aching channel as he takes my clit between his lips and sucks , hard . i shatter with a cry , coming , coming , coming over his lips , his wicked tongue until im spent and gasping in his arms . twelve vaughn i set her down and straighten up . thats two , i tell her casually , yanking her skirt back down . keely blinks at me with those wide eyes , looking like her whole world just turned upside down . shes sexy as hell , all mussed up and blushing . i cant help myself , i shove her back , kissing her hard so she can taste herself , my mouth slick with her delicious juices . damn , i could have eaten her all day . sweet and tight and gushing wet for me . i cant wait to feel that pussy clench around my cock , tight as a goddamn vice . enough fucking around , i say her , holding her chin up .	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["shaking", 1597], ["rub", 1627], ["rubbing", 1627], ["softly", 1634], ["entrance", 1653], ["entrancing", 1653], ["clit", 1668], ["clits", 1668], ["lower", 1686], ["lowers", 1686], ["lowerest", 1686], ["thumb", 1725], ["thumbed", 1725], ["swirl", 1732], ["swirls", 1732], ["swirlest", 1732], ["enough", 1774], ["ache", 1794], ["ached", 1794], ["aching", 1794], ["desperate", 1806], ["say", 1824], ["sayest", 1824], ["saying", 1824], ["admit", 1846], ["admitting", 1846], ["defeat", 1853], ["defeatest", 1853], ["wave", 1862], ["waved", 1862], ["waving", 1862], ["white", 1870], ["flag", 1875], ["flagged", 1875], ["plummet", 1893], ["plummeting", 1893], ["new", 1912], ["universe", 1921], ["universes", 1921], ["hesitate", 1941], ["pressure", 1956], ["pressured", 1956], ["ease", 1973], ["eases", 1973], ["stifle", 1986], ["cry", 1992], ["wait", 2012], ["waitest", 2012], ["waiting", 2012], ["watch", 2023], ["watching", 2023], ["detach", 2045], ["detachest", 2045], ["detached", 2045], ["powerful", 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4015], ["muss", 4036], ["mussing", 4036], ["blush", 4052], ["blushes", 4052], ["help", 4066], ["helpest", 4066], ["shove", 4083], ["kiss", 4102], ["kisses", 4102], ["kissest", 4102], ["kissing", 4102], ["taste", 4128], ["slick", 4153], ["delicious", 4172], ["juice", 4179], ["juicing", 4179], ["juices", 4179], ["damn", 4186], ["damned", 4186], ["eat", 4207], ["eaten", 4207], ["day", 4219], ["tight", 4237], ["gush", 4249], ["gushest", 4249], ["gushing", 4249], ["wait", 4274], ["waitest", 4274], ["clench", 4300], ["clenched", 4300], ["cock", 4315], ["cockest", 4315], ["goddamn", 4336], ["vice", 4341], ["hold", 4387], ["holding", 4387], ["chin", 4396]]
a year or two ago , when seth was still in high school ? '' gram lets out a throaty chuckle . i insist she take a breather in the family room while i store the groceries . she does n't give me hell , like usual , but goes willingly . it 's so obvious that she 's dead tired , so i try hard to remain as quiet as feasibly possible so i wo n't bother her while she rests . unloading the bags is a monotonous task that reminds me of my time bagging groceries at the store up the street when i was in high school . i 'm grinning by time i finish because i have images of cart-racing with my co-workers and an even more vivid picture of racing wardrobe racks on the set of echo falls with vickie , the other wardrobe assistant . if i ever got the nerve to do something like that , tomas would shit a few bricks . the digital clock on the stove catches my eye . i 'll be with kylie soon , and there 's a chance - albeit not a very strong one - that i 'll know what to do to make sure this house stays in gram 's possession . speed walking into the living room , i say , `` hey , i 'm going to - `` but i stop short . my grandmother is asleep on the couch , snoring , her chest rising and falling . `` head out with a friend , '' i whisper . turning to leave , i notice a balled up piece of paper in the corner of the doorway . i stoop down and pick it up , unraveling it . it 's the grocery receipt from gram 's massive shopping expedition . but it 's not the amount of money she has spent that makes my heart beat faster . it 's the city and state the groceries were purchased in . bowling green , kentucky , which is an hour drive from nashville . it 's the halfway point between here and the prison in lexington that houses my mother . honestly , i want to feel denial or shock or even anger - god knows i 've experienced all three emotion and often at once when it comes to mom in the past . as i fold the receipt into tiny , even squares , though , the only thing i feel is a sharp pang in the middle of my chest . kylie arrives early - a quarter 'til seven , when i 'm finishing up the last touches of my makeup - in the giant silver cadillac suv . she must not have gotten my message because she parks halfway up the drive and gets out of the car . as she practically skips toward the house , and into the path of the motion detection lights , i decide she looks like the stay puft marshmallow man in her blindingly white parka and with her short , black and blue hair poking out from beneath a slouchy white crochet hat . tennessee 's not that cold . she pauses in the circular walkway , tilts her head up until her dark eyes meets mine , then smiles and waves . feeling myself flush from head to toe at being caught , i wiggle my fingers back at her . why the hell is she so friendly when she hardly knows me ? a moment later , she stops flapping her hand and disappears under the covered wraparound porch . i should 've stopped her because of gram ! suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought of my grandmother answering the door and having to face down lucas 's assistant , i speed down the steps . my feet hit the final stair just in time to hear kylie complimenting gram on how beautiful the house is . my grandmother 's not giving her accusing looks or asking her politely to leave , so i 'm caught off guard . then i realize that kylie was n't in court yesterday . gram apparently has never had the chance to meet her , but now that she has , she 's charmed . kylie 's praise is making her blush hardcore . lucas 's assistant 's sugary act is really starting to freak me out . `` um , gram , this is kylie , she 's - `` there 's no way i can introduce her as lucas 's assistant . i shoot kylie a pleading look . `` a friend from high school , '' she effortlessly adds . when gram looks away for a split second , kylie winks one of her brown eyes at me . it 's heavily lined in metallic blue liner . `` i 'm in town before heading off for vacation in a couple days and hooked up with sienna online . '' my grandmother 's eyebrows draw together , and i can tell she 's trying to place whether she 's ever met kylie before . i can read the emotions on gram 's face as she thinks back to graduation and homecoming dances and piano competitions . coming up with nothing , she lifts her shoulders slightly and shakes her head , her gray hair springing around her face .	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2464], ["hair", 2469], ["poke", 2476], ["poking", 2476], ["beneath", 2493], ["slouchy", 2503], ["crochet", 2517], ["crocheting", 2517], ["hat", 2521], ["hatting", 2521], ["tennessee", 2533], ["cold", 2550], ["pause", 2563], ["pauses", 2563], ["circular", 2579], ["circulars", 2579], ["walkway", 2587], ["tilt", 2595], ["tilting", 2595], ["tilts", 2595], ["dark", 2622], ["eye", 2627], ["eyed", 2627], ["eyes", 2627], ["meet", 2633], ["meeted", 2633], ["meets", 2633], ["smile", 2652], ["smiles", 2652], ["wave", 2662], ["waved", 2662], ["waves", 2662], ["feel", 2672], ["feeling", 2672], ["flush", 2685], ["toe", 2702], ["toeing", 2702], ["catch", 2718], ["catches", 2718], ["catched", 2718], ["caught", 2718], ["wiggle", 2729], ["finger", 2740], ["fingers", 2740], ["back", 2745], ["friendly", 2786], ["hardly", 2802], ["moment", 2822], ["later", 2828], ["stop", 2840], ["stops", 2840], ["flap", 2849], ["flapping", 2849], ["hand", 2858], ["disappear", 2873], ["disappears", 2873], ["wraparound", 2902], ["porch", 2908], ["stop", 2931], ["stopped", 2931], ["suddenly", 2962], ["nauseous", 2979], ["thought", 2994], ["answer", 3022], ["answeres", 3022], ["answerest", 3022], ["answering", 3022], ["door", 3031], ["face", 3050], ["lucas", 3061], ["step", 3099], ["steps", 3099], ["foot", 3109], ["feet", 3109], ["hit", 3113], ["final", 3123], ["stair", 3129], ["stairs", 3129], ["hear", 3150], ["hears", 3150], ["compliment", 3170], ["beautiful", 3192], ["beautifulest", 3192], ["give", 3236], ["giving", 3236], ["ask", 3265], ["asking", 3265], ["politely", 3278], ["guard", 3314], ["realize", 3331], ["court", 3359], ["courtest", 3359], ["courting", 3359], ["yesterday", 3369], ["yesterdays", 3369], ["apparently", 3387], ["never", 3397], ["meet", 3420], ["meeted", 3420], ["charm", 3464], ["charmest", 3464], ["charmed", 3464], ["praise", 3482], ["blush", 3502], ["blushes", 3502], ["hardcore", 3511], ["sugary", 3542], ["act", 3546], ["acted", 3546], ["really", 3556], ["start", 3565], 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the holiday decorations up on the shops and restaurants should have helped hunter get in the spirit . nah , he was more depressed than ever . he drew in a deep breath and broached the one subject he dreaded most . `` did the final divorce papers come to dad 's house ? '' `` just asking , since they did n't come to my barracks . the only thing i received was a letter telling me that my request for married housing on base had been approved . i guess when i told the navy i 'd married , they thought i 'd want a real house . '' he wished so fking badly that he could share it with kata . `` you 'll figure it out , '' logan drawled . `` after christmas , yeah . '' no way was he dealing with it now . it would only depress him more . `` i 'm home for two weeks this time . i told my new co that he 'd better not call me once unless the world was coming to an end . '' `` i hope he lives up to that . '' hunter snorted , despite his misery . `` he did n't seem eager to give me a reason to shoot him . '' you 've gained a hell of a reputation for being hard on a co. '' logan drove for a minute , then exited the freeway , stopping at the first red light . `` you 've asked me about everyone except kata . '' god , even hearing her name hurt . he knew now why logan could n't stand to be reminded of his ex-girlfriend . sucking in a sharp breath , hunter tried to pass off the question with a shrug . `` i assume that someone would tell me if something 's not right with her . '' logan turned right , away from the colonel 's . `` i cooked a little something up for you . this place belongs to a friend who 's away for the holidays . '' that grin worried the crap out of hunter . since when did logan let anyone close enough to actually call friend ? the only people who remotely qualified were all the hard-core folks at that bdsm club he frequented . logan stopped the car beside the curb of a nondescript little house about six blocks from his family . `` got a surprise for you inside . merry christmas , bro . '' when he got out of the car and grabbed the duffel in the back , hunter followed reluctantly . `` if you 're trying to set me up with one of your pain groupies , please do n't . just let me see dad and everyone else- '' `` sorry . '' logan darted for the door and fished the keys from his pocket . he slung the duffel in hunter 's direction , then tossed him the keys . hunter caught them reflexively . `` i 'll be back for you by dinner . if you 'd rather stay in , just text me . '' hunter turned on his brother and stormed down the concrete walkway , toward the jeep . `` damn it , i do n't want this . '' logan got in the car and locked the door , rolling down the passenger window . with that , he drove off . he 'd be furious if it did n't take too much energy-something he had n't been able to muster much of in the past six months . shaking his head , he stalked into the house . a female lived here , he knew the instant he hit the threshold . the decor did n't give that fact away as much as the smell . vanillascented air fresheners were the top note . musky amber and lilies hit him next-a scent that made him freeze in his tracks . kata ? it was her scent , but she could n't be here . maybe he 'd finally lost his mind . heart pounding ridiculously fast , he closed the door behind him and stalked through the house . he was going to find out what was happening here and get some fking peace . the cozy living area was filled with buttery tan leather and wrought-iron tables , which led into a kitchen with earth-toned paisley patterns and cherry cabinets . the scent he sought had weakened , so hunter turned , wending back the way he 'd come , until he found a hallway . he inhaled more of the gorgeous smell . god , it was stronger here , perfect . for the first time in what felt like forever , he had a raging hard-on . he tried to will it away . two bedrooms down either side of the hallway proved empty and lacking the scent he craved . the corridor dead-ended with a closed door . the master bedroom ? likely , he 'd find it empty , and this strong scent the work of a candle or something , but ... that did n't keep his heart from beating like mad , his hope from soaring . hunter gripped the knob and shoved the door open . inside , he found a dom 's paradise . it was a shadowed room filled with toys , tables , and restraints galore .	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he was a good bodyguard/chauffeur , and this mess - the one time mike had found himself in trouble with the law , ever - proved dom was a loyal , good guy . mike would pay , though . somehow , some day . all thanks to lydia . `` hey , dom , '' he asked as they climbed into a rented suburban . `` can you find someone 's personal phone number ? '' `` can tom brady throw a pass ? '' `` lydia charles . i need her cell number . she works for me , so it should be in company records . '' `` consider it done , mr . the closest muscle movement dom had to a smirk flittered across his thick , wrinkled lips . ha ha , '' mike mumbled . mike leaned back against the tan leather and took a deep breath . bernie 's masterpiece was still dried into his hair . dom 's nostrils began to twitch , and mike opened his mouth to explain . he was done managing and explaining and protesting and adjusting . time to get back to being in charge . and that would start with one phone call . chapter ten mike put his hands under lydia 's shirt as they kissed , fingers and palms gently caressing her back . `` your skin is so soft , '' he whispered into her mouth and she helped him to slide the blouse up over her head and toss it onto a nearby chair . she could see the waiting bed over his shoulder , but there was no rush . dreaming of this moment for too long meant that it was better to let it unfold slowly , his hot hands burning her brsts , beading her nples , sending a trail of fire to her soaked psy . she followed his example , her fingers deftly undoing each of his buttons in turn , working her way down , the backs of her hands brushing against his tight chest and muscled abdomen . when the shirt fell off him and landed at her feet , she could n't resist stealing a glance down at his magnificent upper body , lithe and tanned , muscles rippling as he slid his hands back up to her bra clasp and the white softness of her brsts burst forth onto his chest like heavy cream splashing onto a bronze platter . and then she stared brazenly , as if it were all hers . mine for now . perhaps - she hoped , mine forever . as his fingers pebbled her n*ples and his tongue explored hers , her hands continued on , unbuttoning and unzipping his pants , sliding across tight flesh and finding his even-tighter cock , ready and throbbing , needing to be in her . soon enough , yes . for now , she wanted to hold him in her hand and to exert control over his deep pleasure . he groaned and kissed her urgently , his hands practically tearing off her remaining clothes and also his own , realizing she had struck a nerve . so much for the slow unfolding . mike 's strong arms picked her up almost effortlessly and laid her down on the warm bed , pouring himself next to her and looking into her eyes with a little smile . he inventoried her curves with eyes and hands that seemed to make a map of her body in his mind , cck leaping as she sighed when he brushed her mons . so open , so free - so bold , his willingness to look and explore made her momentarily self-conscious , but the desire in his eyes wiped all that away . he kissed her ear , jaw , neck and br*sts , lingering there for some time , the feeling almost unbearably good and triggering a clenched build-up in her clt that screamed for release , until he seemed to remember himself and his mouth and tongue resumed their progress down her stomach and straight into her womanhood . where she needed him most . she moaned with pleasure and gratitude , her hands finding his shoulders and neck and hair as he roamed her body , caressing her hips , thighs , stomach and the space between her br*sts , a valley of goodness and passion . he sighed deeply , the sound telling her that he was not just giving pleasure to her body , but also receiving almost as much pleasure from it . until this moment it had always only been her body . but now it was also his , and she wanted him to do with it- wait , what was that sound ? the doorknob turned and slowly opened , revealing jeremy , who stood there openly looking at them , a broad grin on his face . tousled brown waves and intense brown eyes lasered in on the two nude bodies , entwined in each other and the bed clothes , a vulnerable , private sight . he removed his shirt and pants , rushing to join their nakd state , tall and lean and ready for anything . she caught a glimpse of his dimpled ass and practically swooned , her juices flowing into the mouth of mike , who was not objecting and had simply resumed going down on her as if his friend 's presence were the norm .	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`` would you care to join the table ? '' helen stiffened at that solicitous voice near her ear . she was n't at all fooled by it . the man was an ogre . he was as cruel as they came . and she 'd be damned if she was going to display her present state before all - a state he was wholly responsible for , she knew . she realized how neatly he had set her up when they 'd had finally finished and gathered everything together to leave . he had n't even bothered to try to prevent her from seeing what lay beneath the blanket when he picked it up . as he 'd refolded it , helen had stood squinting in horror at the compressed patch of posies beneath . then , she had recalled the way he had fussed over laying out the blanket . he had snapped it out several times over the ground , picked it up and turned it over to snap it out one last time before being satisfied . no doubt the side upon which they had sat had been covered with the essence of posies . hence her violent reaction . oh , lord holden was an evil one , all right . even his offer to return to the keep when she had begun to sneeze had been staged . he had asked her before presenting his sack of food from the village tavern . had helen known about that , she surely would have agreed to return to the keep at once , knowing that her plot had been foiled . but , nay , he had elicited her assurance that she would stay before revealing his master stroke , leaving her little choice but to remain and pretend to eat her own rancid food . helen tugged her arm free from his guiding hand , then shook her head . `` nay , i think i shall just go lie down and rest , thankyou , '' she announced stiffly . she waited for him to disappear , relieved when , after a hesitation , he released her arm and stepped away . `` what a gentlemen , '' she sneered as she listened to his footsteps move away toward the trestle tables . heaving a sigh , she squinted hard in an effort to see where she was going and made her way in the general direction of the stairs . she had only taken a few steps when she heard the pitter-patter of hurried footsteps approaching . she breathed with relief . `` aye , dear . lord holden said that you might be in need of my assistance . is something wrong - oh , dear lord ! '' the woman gasped , apparently having caught a glimpse of her face . `` help me upstairs and i shall explain . '' just let me fetch duck - oh , lord holden is sending her after us now . there was a rustle as her aunt moved several feet away to meet ducky , then a brief murmured conversation before a rustling announced nell 's return . she took helen 's arm to lead her to the stairs . `` what is happening with the marriage negotiations ? '' helen asked as they started up the stairs . i am delaying them as much as possible , '' her aunt murmured , then tightened her hold on helen 's shoulder . `` that is what you want , is it not ? '' i shall need more time . he has discovered this one . '' `` i do not know how , '' she admitted on a sigh as they reached the top of the stairs and started along the hall toward her bedchamber . `` i first began to suspect he knew on his first night here , and i am positive he knows now . '' how did you end up like this ? '' aunt nell 's voice was full of concern as they reached helen 's room and she escorted her niece inside . `` he did not hit you ? '' helen grimaced with displeasure . `` he had us picnic on a patch of posies . '' `` but why did you allow it ? '' `` i did not know they were there , '' helen admitted with vexation as she eased over to lie on the bed . `` i was distracted , and he placed the blanket over them . actually , he wiped one side of the blanket over them repeatedly and , well , then he turned it over and laid it over them . i sat right down without realizing , and could not figure out why i was reacting so . '' her admission was bitter . `` but when you began to sneeze and your eyes began to irritate you , why did you not ask him to bring you back to the castle ? '' `` i wanted to force him to eat those pastries and bad cheese ere we returned , '' she admitted with disgruntlement . `` by the time i realized that he had fouled up that plan , too , it was too late . i was stuck there . '' `` how did he - `` helen waved her aunt impatiently to silence . she had no desire to even think about the humiliation that morning , let alone explain it . she was more interested in other things . `` we have a traitor in our midst . '' aunt nell cried .	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humble , gentle , the perfect choice of a mate for a preacher 's daughter , only ... only she 'd dined on pancakes most of her life and she was ready for some salsa . there 'd been a trace of hot sauce in patrick . that was what attracted her to chet , she realized now . he 'd been daring and fun and he 'd made her laugh . he 'd also badly wounded her pride . `` i 'll get your jacket for you , '' michael offered . `` i would n't want you to a catch a chill . '' he took her navy blue wool coat from the rack and held it open for her . michael was a gentleman and chet was a rogue . if she had a lick of sense , she 'd cultivate the relationship with michael and thank god there were still men like him in this sick and decaying world . since the house of pancakes was only two blocks away , they decided to walk . monica buried her hands in her pockets and struggled to keep her attention on what michael was saying . his voice was a low monotone and she had trouble concentrating . a car drove past , the same sick green color of chet 's impala , and she whirled around , wondering if it could possibly be him . her heart leaped into double time at the prospect . if it was chet , it would do him good to see her with another man . if he 'd come to apologize , as well he should , then she would accept nothing less than his pleading for forgiveness . she held her head high , refusing to allow him to think he 'd left her floundering in the wake of his crass behavior . but the sight of the car had been fleeting and she could n't be entirely sure it was him . more than likely it was n't . men like chet costello did n't know how to apologize . it was andrew 's night out with his friends , and leah schlepped into the living room , carrying a book and a cup of coffee . the house was lonely without her husband . the contrast between her life and that of pam , who struggled to squeeze in a few moments for herself , struck leah once more . what she needed was a hobby , leah decided . something that would take her mind off the fact that she did n't have a child . something that would occupy her time so she did n't dwell on how hollow her life was . perhaps she should do volunteer work . there were any number of worthy causes that would welcome her attention . maybe when the holidays were over , she decided . she read the first chapter without much enthusiasm . finally , she put the book down and wandered into the kitchen for a refill on her coffee and stopped abruptly in front of the sink . in the bay window she 'd arranged a row of cacti she 'd carefully nurtured over the years . andrew teased her that if she forgot to water them , it would n't matter . five thick pink-and-turquoise pots each held a different variety of cactus , and each one had sprouted a flower . in the last hour . a variety of pink , red , and white blossoms had appeared as if by some miracle from the time she 'd finished the dishes and wandered into the living room , until now , no more than an hour later . it was n't that she did n't notice . one might have gone undetected , but not five . she could have sworn not a single one had been blooming an hour earlier . unexpected tears pooled in her eyes , the moisture hot and unwelcome . she brushed them away from her cheeks with the back of her hand . `` it seems everything in this house is fertile except me , '' she murmured aloud , and headed blindly toward the living room to await her husband 's return . sitting on the kitchen counter , her knees crossed , her foot swaying like a too-fast pendulum , mercy heaved a gigantic sigh . getting those flowers to appear had n't been an easy trick . she would have preferred african violets any day of the week over cacti ! everything she 'd done for leah had backfired . the flowers were supposed to be a sign of hope . a way of telling her that all was not lost and that there was someone out there who 'd heard her prayer and was working hard to see that it was answered . well , it was back to the drawing board . perhaps what shirley had suggested about leah experiencing joy before she could find her peace was what it would take . first mercy had to figure out a way to manage that , but if she could coax cacti into bloom , then anything was possible . `` shirley . '' goodness shot across the darkened family room of jody and timmy potter 's house in a vapor of speed and excitement . `` give me five , '' she cried , holding up her right hand for the other angel to slap . what a difference a few earth hours could make . for the first time since goodness had accepted this assignment she was making progress . monica and michael had gone to lunch together .	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["goodness", 4287], ["shoot", 4292], ["shooted", 4292], ["shot", 4292], ["across", 4299], ["darken", 4312], ["darkened", 4312], ["family", 4319], ["jody", 4332], ["timmy", 4342], ["potter", 4349], ["vapor", 4369], ["speed", 4378], ["speeding", 4378], ["excitement", 4393], ["give", 4403], ["cry", 4426], ["cried", 4426], ["hold", 4436], ["holding", 4436], ["right", 4449], ["rightest", 4449], ["angel", 4474], ["slap", 4482], ["slaps", 4482], ["slapped", 4482], ["difference", 4502], ["earth", 4514], ["earths", 4514], ["earthest", 4514], ["hour", 4520], ["hours", 4520], ["accept", 4580], ["accepted", 4580], ["assignment", 4596], ["progress", 4620], ["lunch", 4659], ["lunched", 4659], ["lunches", 4659], ["together", 4668]]
radcliffe watched the man swagger off into the trees with distaste , then saw charles sigh and glance down at the damp puppies that were presently climbing all over each other in an attempt to crawl up his sodden pant legs and gain his attention . `` poor darlings , '' charles murmured , bending to scoop up two more of them. `` 't is all right.that nasty old man wo n't hurt you anymore , '' the lad assured them , cuddling them close to his face , then he caught the raised eyebrows radcliffe was giving him . frowning at him slightly as if his behavior were all radcliffe 's fault , charles glanced toward the two pups still on the ground , then back to him with arched eyebrows . `` do you suppose you could pick up those two ? '' radcliffe blinked at that . `` well , i can hardly carry all six of them by myself , can i ? '' his eyebrows drew down with unpleasant suspicion . `` why would you want to , anyway ? you do not plan to keep those mutts , do you ? '' `` what else did you think i would do ? '' the boy asked with open amazement . `` i can hardly leave them here for that farmer to kill later . '' `` well , you are certainly not bringing them back to my home , '' radcliffe said with a snort . stokes 's smile of greeting as he hurried down the hall toward the open front door two hours later turned into a gasp of surprise as six little brown fur-balls suddenly erupted around his feet . yipping excitedly , they flew past radcliffe , dashing wildly if a bit clumsily every which way into the entry , legs flying out from beneath them on the polished marble floor as they tried to sniff everything at once . his mouth was still agape a moment later as each and every one of the creatures suddenly froze . tails stiff and quivering excitedly , they lifted their noses upward and sniffed the air briefly , then made a mad dash down the hall toward the kitchens . charlie cried , leaping past a pained looking radcliffe and charging after the pups , scooping one after another up into her arms . she grabbed up the last one just as it reached the kitchen door . turning then with the squirming bundle of bodies caught awkwardly in her arms , she started back down the hall , relieved when a laughing beth hurried into the house and to charlie 's side to assist her with them . `` poor darlings . '' beth laughed , taking three of them and cuddling them against her chest . `` they must be hungry again . '' `` i do not know how that is possible , '' radcliffe sniffed , irritation marring his expression as he pushed the door closed with a decided crash . `` they acted more like pigs than puppies at the picnic . after all the food they ate there , they should be full for a week . '' charlie rolled her eyes at that and beth laughed . `` hardly , my lord . they were adorable at the picnic . quite a hit . why , every woman in attendance descended on you and charlie when you came out of the woods with the little wonders . they considered both of you to be quite the heroes , once the story of how you rescued them unfolded . '' charlie 's lips quirked at radcliffe 's disgruntled expression as he finished removing his gloves and slapped them against his butler 's chest . the action finally startled the servant out of his stunned state . he closed his mouth and quickly caught the gloves , then accepted the hat radcliffe shoved at him . radcliffe had not stuck long to his refusal to take the pups home with them . they could hardly leave them there in the clearing to be killed . when charlie had pointed that out to him and left the problem as to what to do with the animalsup to him , he had quickly realized there was little other solution but to return home with them temporarily . he had made that as clear as glass . this was a temporary situation and one he did not appreciate . charlie was to find a home for the beasts as quickly as possible . and they were not to be allowed to make a nuisance of themselves . charlie had promised to keep the pups in her room and out of the way until she found them homes , then happily helped him carry thelittle fur-balls back through the woods to the picnic . as beth said , the women in the party had descended on them at once when they had reappeared with the pups , cooing and sighing over the furry little monsters . charlie had been more than aware of radcliffe 's discomfort under the avalancheof attention and had not been surprised when he had extricated himself from the crowd and slipped off to join a group of older men to watch the foofaraw from a safe distance , leaving charlie to deal with the attention and the puppies both . not that she 'd had much difficulty with the puppies . she 'd had more than enough volunteers to aid in minding and feeding the little creatures .	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["beneath", 1548], ["marble", 1576], ["floor", 1582], ["try", 1596], ["tryed", 1596], ["tried", 1596], ["sniff", 1605], ["sniffed", 1605], ["everything", 1616], ["mouth", 1636], ["mouthed", 1636], ["agape", 1652], ["moment", 1661], ["creature", 1706], ["creatures", 1706], ["froze", 1721], ["frozen", 1721], ["freeze", 1721], ["freezing", 1721], ["tail", 1729], ["tailed", 1729], ["tails", 1729], ["stiff", 1735], ["quiver", 1749], ["quiverest", 1749], ["quivering", 1749], ["lift", 1773], ["lifted", 1773], ["nose", 1785], ["nosed", 1785], ["nosing", 1785], ["noses", 1785], ["upward", 1792], ["sniff", 1804], ["sniffed", 1804], ["air", 1812], ["airs", 1812], ["airing", 1812], ["briefly", 1820], ["mad", 1838], ["mads", 1838], ["dash", 1843], ["charlie", 1887], ["cry", 1893], ["cried", 1893], ["leap", 1903], ["leaps", 1903], ["leaping", 1903], ["look", 1925], ["looking", 1925], ["charging", 1948], ["scoop", 1974], ["scooped", 1974], ["scooping", 1974], ["another", 1992], ["arm", 2009], 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["remove", 3134], ["removing", 3134], ["glove", 3145], ["gloved", 3145], ["gloves", 3145], ["slap", 3157], ["slaps", 3157], ["slapped", 3157], ["butler", 3181], ["action", 3203], ["finally", 3211], ["startle", 3220], ["startled", 3220], ["servant", 3232], ["state", 3257], ["quickly", 3291], ["accept", 3325], ["accepted", 3325], ["hat", 3333], ["hatting", 3333], ["shove", 3350], ["shoved", 3350], ["stick", 3383], ["stickest", 3383], ["stuck", 3383], ["long", 3388], ["longs", 3388], ["refusal", 3403], ["take", 3411], ["clearing", 3488], ["kill", 3501], ["killed", 3501], ["point", 3528], ["pointed", 3528], ["left", 3553], ["leave", 3553], ["problem", 3565], ["realize", 3634], ["realized", 3634], ["solution", 3666], ["return", 3680], ["returnest", 3680], ["temporarily", 3707], ["clear", 3735], ["clearest", 3735], ["glass", 3744], ["temporary", 3767], ["situation", 3777], ["appreciate", 3807], ["appreciates", 3807], ["find", 3829], ["beast", 3851], ["beasts", 3851], ["allow", 3908], 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grinning drowsily at the sight of his denim-clad ass as he walked across the room to retrieve his phone , she snuggled into the corner of the couch and laid her head on the arm . without him under her , it was a little chilly . damn , he had a nice back . nice shoulders . the ink only accentuated the lines and contours . she wanted to lick every- macy did n't know what alerted her to the change in atmosphere , but she sat up almost without conscious thought . maybe it was his demeanor as he checked the phone display , maybe there was a barely perceptible stiffening of his muscles she sensed even from across the room . maybe it had simply taken some time for it to sink in that a call at an ungodly hour when everyone should `` know better '' was never a good thing . whatever it was , she knew before he lifted the phone to his ear that it was bad , and the urgency in his voice when he answered confirmed it . `` steph ? his nana . he listened for a moment before darting toward his room . macy leaped to her feet and followed , heart racing . just ... no ! i 've got to be there . i 'll be all right ... yeah , well , dammit , i should n't have let you talk me into coming home in the first place . i 'm on my way , all right ? he was already snatching clothes out of his closet and tossing them on the bed when he threw the phone down on the mattress . it bounced and hit the floor ; macy stooped to pick it up . what the hell should she say ? what should she even ask ? he had all but forgotten her presence , though she understood that completely . finally she blurted the only thing that really mattered to her at that moment . he paused long enough to rub his eyes hard with his thumb and index finger . from several feet away , she could see the trembling of his hands . let me help , '' she tried again , hoping to get some constructive response that way . `` there 's nothing you need to do . i 'll drive you home and head out . '' `` seth , listen to me . i know you 're upset , and i know all you 're thinking about is getting to her , but you 've been awake all night , and you do not need to be on the road right now . '' he grabbed a duffel bag from the closet and carelessly shoved a handful of t-shirts into it . you could- '' `` baby , i 've got enough raw adrenaline pumping through me right now to never need to sleep again . i got this , okay ? '' `` at least let me call brian . maybe he can go with you or something . '' `` hell no , i 'm not gon na bother him with this . '' `` you know he 'd want to help . '' which is exactly why i 'm not calling him . '' `` then let me go with you . or even get you a plane ticket . `` you driving would n't be any better than me . and i appreciate the offer , but you know i 'll have been able to drive to oklahoma in the time it would take me to get through all that bullshit at the airport . '' dammit , she was n't making a single dent . he did n't even look at her , just spouted his retorts as he continued his frantic packing . `` seth , can you honestly tell me your nana would want you to put yourself in danger ? '' then he dropped the shirt and bent over the bed , holding himself up with his fists , breathing deeply . she stepped forward and smoothed her fingers over his shuddering back . `` just a few hours ' sleep and i bet you 'll be good as new . '' `` there 's no fking way i could sleep right now . '' any little thing could set him off again . she knew that , but she had to ask . swallowing her anxiety , she said , `` what happened to her ? '' `` a stroke , they think . '' standing straight , he picked up the shirt and whipped it down into the bag with a violence that made her step back . `` son of a motherfucker . '' `` do n't blame yourself for not being there . you said yourself she wanted you here . '' `` so let 's think about this and- '' he surged into action again . `` no , fk it . `` then i am going with you . '' the way he brushed her words off as if she did n't mean them stung her . `` we can take shifts and keep each other awake . i know i 'll be in the way once we get there , but we 'll figure something out . i only want you to be safe . catching his arm , she made him look at her . the raw pain in his eyes stole her breath for a second . `` macy ... '' `` you wanted to be there for me back then . i want to be here for you now . ''	[["grin", 8], ["drowsily", 17], ["sight", 30], ["sighted", 30], ["denim", 43], ["clad", 48], ["clothe", 48], ["ass", 52], ["walk", 65], ["walked", 65], ["across", 72], ["room", 81], ["roomed", 81], ["retrieve", 93], ["phone", 103], ["snuggle", 118], ["snuggled", 118], ["corner", 134], ["couch", 147], ["couchest", 147], ["lay", 156], ["lays", 156], ["layed", 156], ["layest", 156], ["laid", 156], ["head", 165], ["arm", 176], ["without", 186], ["little", 218], ["chilly", 225], ["damn", 232], ["damned", 232], ["nice", 248], ["back", 253], ["shoulder", 270], ["shouldered", 270], ["shoulders", 270], ["ink", 280], ["accentuate", 297], ["accentuated", 297], ["line", 307], ["lines", 307], ["contour", 320], ["contours", 320], ["contouring", 320], ["lick", 341], ["know", 366], ["knowest", 366], ["alert", 379], ["alerted", 379], ["change", 397], ["atmosphere", 411], ["sat", 425], ["sit", 425], ["almost", 435], ["conscious", 453], ["thought", 461], ["maybe", 469], ["demeanor", 489], ["check", 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1543], ["understood", 1543], ["completely", 1559], ["finally", 1569], ["blurt", 1581], ["blurted", 1581], ["really", 1608], ["matter", 1617], ["mattering", 1617], ["mattered", 1617], ["pause", 1651], ["paused", 1651], ["long", 1656], ["longs", 1656], ["enough", 1663], ["rub", 1670], ["eye", 1679], ["eyed", 1679], ["eyes", 1679], ["hard", 1684], ["thumb", 1699], ["thumbed", 1699], ["index", 1709], ["indices", 1709], ["indexes", 1709], ["finger", 1716], ["several", 1731], ["away", 1741], ["see", 1757], ["tremble", 1771], ["trembling", 1771], ["hand", 1784], ["hands", 1784], ["help", 1798], ["helpest", 1798], ["try", 1813], ["tryed", 1813], ["tried", 1813], ["hope", 1828], ["hoping", 1828], ["get", 1835], ["constructive", 1853], ["response", 1862], ["nothing", 1893], ["need", 1902], ["needest", 1902], ["drive", 1922], ["seth", 1957], ["listen", 1966], ["listens", 1966], ["upset", 1995], ["think", 2029], ["thinkest", 2029], ["thinking", 2029], ["get", 2046], ["getting", 2046], ["awoke", 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["spout", 2953], ["spouts", 2953], ["spoutest", 2953], ["spouted", 2953], ["retort", 2965], ["retortest", 2965], ["retorts", 2965], ["continue", 2981], ["continued", 2981], ["frantic", 2993], ["packing", 3001], ["honestly", 3030], ["tell", 3035], ["put", 3070], ["danger", 3089], ["drop", 3110], ["dropped", 3110], ["shirt", 3120], ["bend", 3129], ["bent", 3129], ["hold", 3152], ["holding", 3152], ["fist", 3178], ["fists", 3178], ["breathes", 3190], ["deeply", 3197], ["step", 3211], ["stepped", 3211], ["forward", 3219], ["forwardest", 3219], ["forwarding", 3219], ["smooth", 3232], ["smoothed", 3232], ["finger", 3244], ["fingers", 3244], ["hour", 3291], ["hours", 3291], ["bet", 3309], ["new", 3332], ["set", 3420], ["swallow", 3484], ["swallows", 3484], ["swallowing", 3484], ["anxiety", 3496], ["say", 3507], ["sayest", 3507], ["said", 3507], ["happen", 3526], ["happened", 3526], ["stroke", 3550], ["think", 3563], ["thinkest", 3563], ["stood", 3577], ["stand", 3577], ["standest", 3577], 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`` put the women with him , '' viktor said to one of his men . he shivered when the man 's blank stare shifted to jessica . `` we figure out something special for mr . piggy . '' `` no , '' jessica said and struggled in the thug 's hands . kace tensed and rushed forward with all his might . another thug stepped in front and nailed him in the stomach . he dropped to the ground and watched as they sat jessica next to meg . alyssa was next . the two women shivered at the table while meg and finn continued to play it cool . when kace turned his eyes on finn , he winked at him and then looked back to viktor . `` so , vic . '' the blood from his nose had seeped into his mouth and coated his teeth when he smiled . `` i hear boris is on his way . i 'm sure stefano must be so proud of the work you 're doing . '' the russian 's face fell , and kace 's stomach twisted . he did n't know what angle finn was going for , but taunting the angry russian did n't seem like the best idea . `` he be happy after tonight , '' viktor said , his black eyes fixed on finn . `` one less problem . '' finn laughed loudly . dale glared at him and then turned to viktor . `` where are your men ? '' kace watched as viktor turned to look at the door and then back to his men . `` you two go look , '' he said to the men next to him . they trudged slowly to the back door and disappeared when the door closed with a click . kace looked over at jessica . the man who had grabbed her stood firmly behind the three women . he narrowed his eyes on kace when he noticed him staring . `` i will say dale , '' finn spoke , pulling all eyes back to him . `` i 'm surprised my brother is n't here . '' `` he 's on a ship with loads of witnesses . '' `` he was always good with the alibies . '' he shifted in his seat , and dale jumped . `` although , i 'm a little insulted at who he 's picked to carry out his plan . '' finn wrinkled his nose . dale 's face filled with rage as he raised the gun to finn 's head . `` you really should n't taunt him like that . '' all eyes turned to liam . the barrel of his gun was pressed against viktor 's head . the thug near the women cursed in russian . kace yanked his gun from his holster and pointed it at the thug near jessica . `` took you long enough , '' finn said to liam . liam sighed loudly . `` that 's what happens when you leave all the work up to me . '' finn laughed as he stood . liam looked over at the russian thug near the women . `` move the f**k away , '' he said . his face contorted as he stared at the man . `` or my cop friend is going to make you move . '' the man stared back apparently weighing his options . `` pretty sure there is n't a win with this , '' finn said . `` boris is n't a fan of loose ends . from what i hear , you do n't want to get on his bad side . '' the thug moved slowly around the women , his eyes fixed on the gun and kace , waiting for the opportunity . kace followed him without hesitation . `` i suggest you move over there with your new friends , '' finn said to dale . dale 's face flamed as he moved away . his gun still pointed at finn as he made his way to the russian . liam pushed viktor to the other man and steadied his gun . `` seems like this did n't go at all like you were told it would , '' finn said to viktor . `` was n't as good a plan as ennis might have told you . '' `` we will see , '' viktor said and smiled . `` if you think there 's still a payday after this , i 've just drained all the money . '' finn grinned when they turned to look at dale . `` he 's lying , '' dale said , pale . `` you 'll find out soon enough , '' he said to dale . his cousin glared at him complete hatred . this standoff had to end before someone got hurt . `` as far as i can tell , '' kace said to viktor . `` there is really only one person responsible for all the problems . '' he glanced to dale and then back to viktor . `` fuck you , '' dale said and spat on the floor . viktor looked to his associate and then to the back door . `` and what about my men ? ''	[["put", 6], ["woman", 16], ["womans", 16], ["women", 16], ["viktor", 37], ["say", 42], ["sayest", 42], ["said", 42], ["man", 60], ["mans", 60], ["manned", 60], ["men", 60], ["shiver", 74], ["shivering", 74], ["shivered", 74], ["man", 87], ["mans", 87], ["manned", 87], ["blank", 96], ["blanks", 96], ["stare", 102], ["stared", 102], ["shift", 110], ["shifted", 110], ["jessica", 121], ["jessicas", 121], ["figure", 136], ["special", 158], ["mr", 165], ["piggy", 173], ["struggle", 216], ["struggled", 216], ["thug", 228], ["hand", 237], ["hands", 237], ["tense", 251], ["tensed", 251], ["rush", 262], ["rushed", 262], ["forward", 270], ["forwardest", 270], ["forwarding", 270], ["another", 299], ["step", 312], ["stepped", 312], ["front", 321], ["nail", 332], ["nailed", 332], ["stomach", 351], ["stomachs", 351], ["stomaching", 351], ["drop", 364], ["dropped", 364], ["ground", 378], ["watch", 390], ["watched", 390], ["sat", 402], ["sit", 402], ["next", 415], ["meg", 422], ["megs", 422], 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869], ["know", 887], ["knowest", 887], ["angle", 898], ["go", 913], ["goest", 913], ["going", 913], ["taunt", 932], ["taunting", 932], ["tauntest", 932], ["angry", 942], ["seem", 963], ["seeming", 963], ["like", 968], ["good", 977], ["best", 977], ["idea", 982], ["happy", 999], ["tonight", 1013], ["black", 1042], ["fix", 1053], ["fixes", 1053], ["fixed", 1053], ["less", 1075], ["problem", 1083], ["laugh", 1101], ["laughed", 1101], ["loudly", 1108], ["dale", 1115], ["glare", 1122], ["glared", 1122], ["look", 1222], ["door", 1234], ["go", 1275], ["goest", 1275], ["trudge", 1331], ["slowly", 1338], ["disappear", 1371], ["disappeared", 1371], ["close", 1392], ["closed", 1392], ["click", 1405], ["grab", 1461], ["grabbed", 1461], ["stood", 1471], ["stand", 1471], ["standest", 1471], ["firmly", 1478], ["behind", 1485], ["three", 1495], ["narrow", 1515], ["narrowed", 1515], ["notice", 1548], ["noticed", 1548], ["stare", 1560], ["stared", 1560], ["staring", 1560], ["say", 1576], ["sayest", 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no way was keith going to let isabelle spend even one hour in jail . i 'm sure there were witnesses there who can verify that 's what happened if it comes to that . '' grant gave him a hard , glittering stare . `` if you went to lavine 's first , why are n't you dead ? '' `` assuming there is someone killing these people , perhaps they got the wrong date for me . lavine adopted me days before you came . maybe that 's the date he 's using for me . '' keith waved off grant 's suspicion with a negligent flip of his hand . `` listen , mathews will know soon enough that i was n't around and he 'll clear my name . i suggest you focus on your problem . do you remember where you were on those days ? '' trouble is , it 's classified , so i ca n't say . '' `` is there anyone who can ? '' grant let out a deep sigh as if even trying was futile . i can give you the number for colonel monroe . he met keith 's gaze , and for a moment , keith wanted to free grant right now . the poor man was suffering so much . he probably did n't even realize why . grant said , `` if monroe ca n't help , then i 'm completely f**ked , 'cause i wo n't give out classified information . '' chapter fourteen dale heard isabelle scream , the tortured squeal of crushing metal and glass , followed by her silence . panic made his voice crackle . there was no answer , but he could hear the sound of screeching tires and realized she 'd been in a car accident . fear congealed in his stomach as he screamed her name again . he had no idea where she was , but he was already on his way to his car to go find her , keeping the phone pressed to his ear for any signs she was okay . dear god , please let her be okay . dale had just shut the car door when he heard voices on the other end of the line . said a man in a concerned tone . someone groaned , and he prayed it was isabelle . at least if it was her , she was still alive . `` an ambulance is on the way , '' said the man . dale 's tires squealed as he sped down the street toward her school . maybe she was on her way home and he 'd see the accident along the way . came isabelle 's voice from far away . a loud scratching noise filled the phone before the man spoke into it . `` her name is isabelle carson . `` highway sixty-five , just south of forty-four . do n't try to come here , though . highway 's jammed . '' there was no way dale was just going to sit around and wait to see if she was okay . it was isabelle , though she sounded groggy . just a little shaken up . '' relief made him shake hard enough that he had to pull his car over or risk having his own wreck . dale heard sirens in the background . `` i think i 'm going to need you to come get me as soon as we 're finished with the accident report . my car is ... totaled . '' `` i 'll call soon , '' she said loud enough to be heard over the wail of sirens . the line went dead and dale did n't move . he 'd almost lost the best thing in his life , and all it took was a split second . isabelle would be gone and he 'd be on his own again . no isabelle . a tap on his car window made him jump . he looked up , and angela was standing there with the sun lighting her blond hair . dale blinked , sure it was just another trick of his overactive imagination . when she did n't go away , dale rolled the window down . `` heya , dale , '' she greeted with a smile so sweet it made his chest ache beneath the hammering of his heart . he asked because nothing suave or cool leapt to mind . `` i live in that house . '' she pointed to the beautifully landscaped two-story house across the street from where his car sat . `` i saw you pull up and just sit here . he was n't , but he also was n't about to admit it to the girl of his dreams . he wiped his face , checking for any traces of tears . when they came away wet , he knew his humiliation was complete . there was one girl in the world he wanted , and she had to be the one who saw him cry like a baby . she said , sounding more concerned by the moment . might as well tell her and get it over with . `` my foster mom was in a wreck . '' i mean , i talked to her for a minute , but she sounded bad . she asked me to pick her up . 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`` because rumor has it you 're a cold-hearted son of a bitch and wo n't care who asks you not to bulldoze that house . you 'll still do it . '' he huffed out a gruff laugh . few people around here are . are n't you afraid of losing your job ? '' `` i 'm a temp , reece . i start and finish jobs all the time . i 'll find another one . '' but no boss will be as good to work for as me . '' i turned on a smile . `` speaking of which , i have n't signed a contract yet . who should i speak to for the paperwork ? '' `` but i 'd like to get it sorted soon , before we both get too comfortable . '' you 've taken notes in my meetings , made plans to fix ally 's mistakes and even watered the plant . '' at my raised brows , he gave me a wicked smiled . `` i snooped around your workspace while you were at lunch . '' `` i do n't play fair , cleo . cold-hearted son of a bitch , remember ? '' i stood abruptly and fixed him with my most serious glare . he could do whatever he liked to try and intimidate me or control me , or whatever it was he was trying to do , but it would n't work . in essence , i did n't work for him , i worked for ellen and i was employed to stop his serendipity bend project before the bulldozers showed up . doing that was far more important than playing his games . `` have my employment contract on my desk by the morning , '' i said and stalked to the door . somehow he reached it first . he blocked the doorway with his formidable body . being so close to him was like being on the edge of a black hole . all my bravado was sucked out of me by his compelling presence . the woman in me just wanted to reach out and touch his abs beneath his shirt . but we did n't touch , just stared one another down . i prayed he could n't see the anxiety in my eyes . `` you do n't order me about , '' he said in a low voice that rumbled up from the depths of his chest . i nodded primly . as your employee , i would never dream of doing such a thing . would it help if i said please ? '' he seemed uncertain how to react to my sweet turn . his gaze softened and he lowered his arm . `` you can get me another coffee before you leave for the day . '' `` you should n't drink so much coffee . `` but i would n't dream of telling you what to do . it 's your health . '' i lowered my lashes , hoping for the smoky , sexy look that he 'd perfected . i brushed past him , holding my breath in the hope that if i did n't breathe in his scent , i would n't be affected . my insides flipped as my arm touched his . there might have been clothing between us , but i felt the jolt of my body 's awareness as surely as a lightning strike . i did n't look back to see if he 'd felt it too . i hurried to the little kitchenette and made him a coffee . i took it into him but he did n't look up from his papers . i left his office , shut the door , and settled back at my desk . it was past five , but i did n't plan on leaving yet . not only did i have a lot of reece 's work to do , i also needed to follow ellen 's techniques for ingratiating myself . that meant working extra hard , harder than any pa he 'd had before . i called becky and let her know i would n't be home for dinner . she said she 'd make something that i could heat up later . she was used to me not coming home until all hours . three hours later , reece emerged from his office . he was rubbing his hand over his face so did n't see me straight away . the brief moment in which he thought he was alone told me more about reece kavanagh than anything else so far . he was tired , yes , but troubled too . the way he lowered his head and the groaning sigh were a sure sign that he had something on his mind . i wished i could alleviate the pressure for him . the moment of vulnerability shattered when he drew his hand away and spotted me . we both stared at one another , neither speaking . i tried to search for something to say and failed . i could n't even muster a smile . the urge to take his face in my hands and brush away the shadows with my thumbs was overwhelming . i dug my fingers into the leather of my seat . `` you 're still here , '' he said lamely . he gave a small shake of his head and shoulders as if he were shrugging off his problems . the shadows lurking in his eyes vanished , replaced with the familiar coldness that he seemed to wrap around himself when he needed to be the big bad boss .	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["compelling", 1586], ["presence", 1595], ["woman", 1607], ["womans", 1607], ["reach", 1634], ["touch", 1648], ["touching", 1648], ["abs", 1656], ["beneath", 1664], ["shirt", 1674], ["stare", 1711], ["stared", 1711], ["pray", 1739], ["prays", 1739], ["see", 1756], ["anxiety", 1768], ["eye", 1779], ["eyed", 1779], ["eyes", 1779], ["order", 1801], ["orderest", 1801], ["low", 1832], ["lowed", 1832], ["voice", 1838], ["rumble", 1851], ["rumbles", 1851], ["rumbled", 1851], ["depth", 1870], ["depths", 1870], ["chest", 1883], ["nod", 1894], ["nodded", 1894], ["primly", 1901], ["employee", 1920], ["never", 1936], ["dream", 1942], ["dreamt", 1942], ["dreamest", 1942], ["thing", 1964], ["help", 1980], ["helpest", 1980], ["please", 1997], ["seem", 2012], ["seeming", 2012], ["seemed", 2012], ["uncertain", 2022], ["react", 2035], ["sweet", 2047], ["turn", 2052], ["gaze", 2063], ["gazes", 2063], ["soften", 2072], ["softens", 2072], ["softened", 2072], ["lowers", 2087], ["lowerest", 2087], ["lowered", 2087], ["arm", 2095], ["coffee", 2130], ["left", 2147], ["leave", 2147], ["day", 2159], ["drank", 2188], ["drink", 2188], ["drinking", 2188], ["much", 2196], ["tell", 2241], ["telling", 2241], ["health", 2276], ["healths", 2276], ["lash", 2301], ["lashes", 2301], ["hope", 2310], ["hoping", 2310], ["smoky", 2324], ["sexy", 2331], ["look", 2336], ["perfect", 2357], ["perfectest", 2357], ["perfected", 2357], ["brush", 2369], ["brushest", 2369], ["brushed", 2369], ["past", 2374], ["hold", 2388], ["holding", 2388], ["breath", 2398], ["breathest", 2398], ["hope", 2410], ["breathes", 2436], ["scent", 2449], ["scentest", 2449], ["affect", 2475], ["affected", 2475], ["inside", 2488], ["insides", 2488], ["flip", 2496], ["flipping", 2496], ["flipped", 2496], ["touch", 2514], ["touching", 2514], ["touched", 2514], ["may", 2532], ["mays", 2532], ["mayest", 2532], ["might", 2532], ["clothing", 2551], ["feel", 2575], ["felt", 2575], ["jolt", 2584], ["jolted", 2584], ["awareness", 2608], ["surely", 2618], ["lightning", 2633], ["strike", 2640], ["back", 2662], ["hurry", 2702], ["hurried", 2702], ["hurryed", 2702], ["hurrying", 2702], ["little", 2716], ["kitchenette", 2728], ["take", 2759], ["took", 2759], ["paper", 2810], ["papers", 2810], ["left", 2819], ["leave", 2819], ["office", 2830], ["shut", 2837], ["settle", 2860], ["settled", 2860], ["five", 2895], ["fived", 2895], ["plan", 2916], ["left", 2927], ["leave", 2927], ["leaving", 2927], ["lot", 2959], ["also", 2991], ["need", 2998], ["needest", 2998], ["needed", 2998], ["follow", 3008], ["technique", 3028], ["techniques", 3028], ["ingratiate", 3045], ["ingratiated", 3045], ["ingratiating", 3045], ["mean", 3065], ["meanest", 3065], ["meant", 3065], ["work", 3073], ["wrought", 3073], ["working", 3073], ["extra", 3079], ["extras", 3079], ["hard", 3084], ["hard", 3093], ["pa", 3105], ["call", 3133], ["called", 3133], ["becky", 3139], ["let", 3147], ["lets", 3147], ["know", 3156], ["knowest", 3156], ["home", 3176], ["homing", 3176], ["dinner", 3187], ["heat", 3238], ["heats", 3238], ["heated", 3238], ["later", 3247], ["use", 3262], ["used", 3262], ["come", 3279], ["coming", 3279], ["hour", 3300], ["hours", 3300], ["three", 3308], ["emerge", 3336], ["emerged", 3336], ["rub", 3369], ["rubbing", 3369], ["hand", 3378], ["face", 3392], ["straight", 3419], ["away", 3424], ["brief", 3436], ["briefing", 3436], ["moment", 3443], ["think", 3463], ["thinkest", 3463], ["thought", 3463], ["alone", 3476], ["tell", 3481], ["told", 3481], ["anything", 3524], ["else", 3529], ["tired", 3551], ["yes", 3557], ["trouble", 3572], ["troubling", 3572], ["troubled", 3572], ["way", 3586], ["ways", 3586], ["head", 3606], ["groanings", 3623], ["sigh", 3628], ["sighest", 3628], ["sure", 3640], ["sign", 3645], ["mind", 3679], ["minding", 3679], ["wish", 3690], ["wished", 3690], ["alleviate", 3708], ["pressure", 3721], ["pressured", 3721], ["vulnerability", 3759], ["shatter", 3769], ["shattered", 3769], ["draw", 3782], ["draws", 3782], ["drawn", 3782], ["drew", 3782], ["spot", 3808], ["spotted", 3808], ["neither", 3853], ["try", 3872], ["tryed", 3872], ["tried", 3872], ["search", 3882], ["say", 3903], ["sayest", 3903], ["fail", 3914], ["failed", 3914], ["muster", 3940], ["musters", 3940], ["musterest", 3940], ["urge", 3959], ["take", 3967], ["hand", 3988], ["hands", 3988], ["brush", 3998], ["brushest", 3998], ["shadow", 4015], ["shadowed", 4015], ["shadows", 4015], ["thumb", 4030], ["thumbed", 4030], ["thumbs", 4030], ["overwhelming", 4047], ["dug", 4055], ["dig", 4055], ["digs", 4055], ["digest", 4055], ["finger", 4066], ["fingers", 4066], ["leather", 4083], ["seat", 4094], ["lamely", 4138], ["small", 4156], ["shake", 4162], ["shoulder", 4188], ["shouldered", 4188], ["shoulders", 4188], ["shrug", 4212], ["shrugging", 4212], ["problem", 4229], ["problems", 4229], ["lurk", 4251], ["lurks", 4251], ["lurking", 4251], ["vanish", 4272], ["vanishest", 4272], ["vanished", 4272], ["replace", 4283], ["replaced", 4283], ["familiar", 4301], ["coldness", 4310], ["wrap", 4333], ["wraps", 4333], ["wrapping", 4333], ["big", 4377], ["bigs", 4377], ["bad", 4381]]
rhett 's plastic plate held his favorite diced foods . elena left them . mitch reached for the bottle and corkscrew . the dark hairs on his wrist beneath his snowy shirt fascinated carly as he worked the cork free . `` after we finish with the jeweler , you need to call your parents . i 've arranged for the jet to pick them up thursday morning and carry them back sunday . since we ca n't leave town until the end of the year unless it 's business-related , we wo n't have a honeymoon . '' a honeymoon . time devoted to nothing but discovering each other 's minds and bodies . she had n't given it a thought , but now that he 'd planted the seed she realized she 'd love a week of mitch 's undivided attention . desire made her shift in her seat . i would n't want to leave rhett anyway . '' he popped the cork without spilling a drop-the sign of experience-and then filled the flutes with bubbly gold champagne . after wedging the bottle back in the ice , he lifted his flute . may our marriage be everything we expect it to be . '' `` to us , '' she echoed and tinked her rim against his . the chilled liquid slid down her throat like nectar . carly found an appetite that had been awol since yesterday morning . she set down her glass and attacked her lunch . the shrimp and crisp veggies tasted divine . she 'd been too nervous to eat breakfast today . she had no trouble replacing the calories they 'd burned now . `` rand will be my witness . you can invite one of your own or use your parents , '' mitch said fifteen minutes later after she 'd practically inhaled her meal . `` the fewer people who are a part of this , the less likely it 'll turn into a circus . and unless you intend to quit your job you 'll need to warn them at work that they might need to beef up security until the media storm blows over . '' no , i 'm not going to quit . `` paparazzi enjoy exploiting the rich and famous . '' a warning prickled her skin . `` i 'm neither . '' she chewed over the disturbing news . it would n't be the same as before . she was n't young and naive , and mitch was n't going to hang her out to dry to save his own reputation . was she making a mistake to bring rhett into a world where the media watched and waited for fodder ? she was giving him what marlene had wanted-his birthright . `` we 'll apply for the marriage license first thing in the morning . '' `` what about my clients ? '' `` reschedule an hour or two . and while you 're at it , take thursday and friday off . '' `` mitch , i ca n't . `` your parents will be here and you have a wedding to plan . '' she mentally pictured her schedule , trying to guess who could be shuffled and who could n't . rhett finished his lunch and his eyes grew droopy . carly was glad of the excuse to escape . mitch showed her below deck to a stateroom as posh as the one in the manor . he 'd taken care of every detail from diapers to rhett 's favorite stuffed gator . she changed rhett and tucked him into the crib . he immediately went to sleep , taking away her excuse for hiding out . it was almost two o'clock , so she made her way back upstairs . the engines quieted as she returned to the living area . before she could ask who , she spotted another boat bumping alongside . but it was n't the harbor patrol , which often stopped boats to check for safety issues . the crew of the other yacht linked the boats , and a distinguished-looking older gentleman wearing a goatee and carrying a briefcase came aboard . mitch greeted him at the door and gestured for him to enter . `` carly , this is mr. belmonte , our jeweler . he has a selection of rings for you to look over . '' surprised once again , she glanced out the windows on either side of the room . the closest landmass was at least a mile away . `` we 're in the middle of the bay . '' `` it 's the best way to ensure privacy , '' mitch said as if he shopped in such odd places on a regular basis . she 'd assumed they 'd dock at the back door of the jewelry store ... or something . `` good afternoon , ms. corbin . i have chosen a number of designs based on mr. kincaid 's description , but if none of them pleases you i have more back at the shop . '' after shaking her hand , belmonte placed his briefcase on the coffee table and flipped it open . carly nearly fell over backward .	[["plastic", 16], ["plate", 22], ["plating", 22], ["hold", 27], ["held", 27], ["favorite", 40], ["favoritest", 40], ["dice", 46], ["dicing", 46], ["food", 52], ["foods", 52], ["elena", 60], ["left", 65], ["leave", 65], ["mitch", 78], ["reach", 86], ["reached", 86], ["bottle", 101], ["bottled", 101], ["corkscrew", 115], ["corkscrews", 115], ["dark", 126], ["hair", 132], ["hairs", 132], ["wrist", 145], ["beneath", 153], ["snowy", 163], ["shirt", 169], ["fascinate", 180], ["fascinated", 180], ["carly", 186], ["work", 199], ["wrought", 199], ["worked", 199], ["cork", 208], ["free", 213], ["finish", 234], ["jeweler", 251], ["need", 262], ["needest", 262], ["call", 270], ["parent", 283], ["parents", 283], ["arrange", 300], ["arranging", 300], ["arranged", 300], ["jet", 312], ["jetting", 312], ["pick", 320], ["thursday", 337], ["thursdays", 337], ["morning", 345], ["carry", 355], ["back", 365], ["sunday", 372], ["sundays", 372], ["since", 380], ["ca", 386], ["cas", 386], ["left", 396], ["leave", 396], ["town", 401], ["end", 415], ["ends", 415], ["endest", 415], ["year", 427], ["unless", 434], ["unlesss", 434], ["business", 449], ["relate", 457], ["relates", 457], ["related", 457], ["wo", 465], ["honeymoon", 486], ["time", 510], ["devote", 518], ["devoted", 518], ["nothing", 529], ["discover", 545], ["discovering", 545], ["mind", 565], ["minding", 565], ["minds", 565], ["body", 576], ["bodied", 576], ["bodies", 576], ["give", 596], ["given", 596], ["thought", 609], ["plant", 638], ["planted", 638], ["seed", 647], ["seeded", 647], ["realize", 660], ["realized", 660], ["love", 672], ["week", 679], ["undivided", 701], ["attention", 711], ["desire", 720], ["shift", 735], ["seat", 747], ["anyway", 788], ["pop", 803], ["popped", 803], ["without", 820], ["spilt", 829], ["spill", 829], ["spilling", 829], ["drop", 836], ["sign", 845], ["experience", 859], ["experienced", 859], ["fill", 875], ["fills", 875], ["filled", 875], ["flute", 886], ["fluting", 886], ["flutes", 886], ["bubbly", 898], ["gold", 903], ["golds", 903], ["champagne", 913], ["wedge", 929], ["wedged", 929], ["wedging", 929], ["ice", 956], ["iced", 956], ["lift", 968], ["lifted", 968], ["flute", 978], ["fluting", 978], ["may", 984], ["mays", 984], ["mayest", 984], ["marriage", 997], ["everything", 1011], ["expect", 1021], ["echo", 1060], ["echoed", 1060], ["tink", 1071], ["tinks", 1071], ["rim", 1079], ["rimmed", 1079], ["chill", 1105], ["chills", 1105], ["chilling", 1105], ["chilled", 1105], ["liquid", 1112], ["slid", 1117], ["throat", 1133], ["like", 1138], ["nectar", 1145], ["find", 1159], ["found", 1159], ["appetite", 1171], ["appetites", 1171], ["awol", 1190], ["yesterday", 1206], ["yesterdays", 1206], ["set", 1224], ["glass", 1239], ["attack", 1252], ["attacked", 1252], ["lunch", 1262], ["lunched", 1262], ["lunches", 1262], ["shrimp", 1275], ["shrimps", 1275], ["shrimped", 1275], ["crisp", 1285], ["crisping", 1285], ["veggie", 1293], ["veggies", 1293], ["taste", 1300], ["tasted", 1300], ["divine", 1307], ["nervous", 1333], ["eat", 1340], ["breakfast", 1350], ["today", 1356], ["trouble", 1377], ["troubling", 1377], ["replace", 1387], ["replacing", 1387], ["calorie", 1400], ["calories", 1400], ["burn", 1415], ["burns", 1415], ["burned", 1415], ["rand", 1429], ["witness", 1448], ["invite", 1465], ["invites", 1465], ["use", 1488], ["say", 1517], ["sayest", 1517], ["said", 1517], ["fifteen", 1525], ["minute", 1533], ["minutes", 1533], ["later", 1539], ["practically", 1564], ["inhale", 1572], ["inhaled", 1572], ["meal", 1581], ["people", 1603], ["part", 1618], ["parting", 1618], ["less", 1637], ["turn", 1656], ["circus", 1670], ["intend", 1694], ["intendest", 1694], ["quit", 1702], ["quits", 1702], ["quitting", 1702], ["job", 1711], ["jobbing", 1711], ["warn", 1732], ["work", 1745], ["wrought", 1745], ["may", 1761], ["mays", 1761], ["mayest", 1761], ["might", 1761], ["beef", 1774], ["beefs", 1774], ["security", 1786], ["medium", 1802], ["medias", 1802], ["mediums", 1802], ["media", 1802], ["storm", 1808], ["blew", 1814], ["blow", 1814], ["blowest", 1814], ["blows", 1814], ["go", 1844], ["goest", 1844], ["going", 1844], ["paparazzi", 1867], ["enjoy", 1873], ["enjoyed", 1873], ["exploit", 1884], ["exploiting", 1884], ["rich", 1893], ["famous", 1904], ["warning", 1919], ["prickle", 1928], ["prickled", 1928], ["skin", 1937], ["neither", 1955], ["chew", 1971], ["chews", 1971], ["chewest", 1971], ["chewed", 1971], ["news", 1996], ["newses", 1996], ["young", 2053], ["youngest", 2053], ["naive", 2063], ["hung", 2097], ["hang", 2097], ["hangs", 2097], ["dry", 2112], ["drier", 2112], ["drying", 2112], ["save", 2120], ["reputation", 2139], ["mistake", 2166], ["mistook", 2166], ["mistaken", 2166], ["bring", 2175], ["world", 2194], ["watch", 2218], ["watched", 2218], ["wait", 2229], ["waitest", 2229], ["waited", 2229], ["fodder", 2240], ["give", 2257], ["giving", 2257], ["marlene", 2274], ["birthright", 2300], ["apply", 2318], ["applyed", 2318], ["license", 2343], ["first", 2349], ["firstest", 2349], ["thing", 2355], ["client", 2400], ["clients", 2400], ["reschedule", 2419], ["hour", 2427], ["two", 2434], ["twos", 2434], ["take", 2467], ["friday", 2487], ["wedding", 2570], ["plan", 2578], ["mentally", 2596], ["picture", 2605], ["pictured", 2605], ["schedule", 2618], ["try", 2627], ["tryed", 2627], ["trying", 2627], ["guess", 2636], ["shuffle", 2658], ["shuffling", 2658], ["shuffled", 2658], ["finish", 2693], ["finished", 2693], ["eye", 2716], ["eyed", 2716], ["eyes", 2716], ["grow", 2721], ["growest", 2721], ["grew", 2721], ["droopy", 2728], ["glad", 2745], ["excuse", 2759], ["escape", 2769], ["escapes", 2769], ["show", 2784], ["showed", 2784], ["deck", 2799], ["stateroom", 2814], ["posh", 2822], ["manor", 2846], ["take", 2860], ["taken", 2860], ["care", 2865], ["every", 2874], ["detail", 2881], ["diaper", 2894], ["diapers", 2894], ["gator", 2929], ["change", 2943], ["changed", 2943], ["tuck", 2960], ["tucked", 2960], ["tucking", 2960], ["crib", 2978], ["immediately", 2995], ["go", 3000], ["goest", 3000], ["went", 3000], ["slept", 3009], ["sleep", 3009], ["sleeps", 3009], ["sleepest", 3009], ["take", 3018], ["taking", 3018], ["away", 3023], ["hide", 3045], ["hides", 3045], ["almost", 3065], ["way", 3099], ["ways", 3099], ["upstairs", 3113], ["engine", 3127], ["engines", 3127], ["quiet", 3135], ["return", 3151], ["returnest", 3151], ["returned", 3151], ["area", 3170], ["ask", 3193], ["spot", 3211], ["spotted", 3211], ["another", 3219], ["boat", 3224], ["boated", 3224], ["bump", 3232], ["bumpest", 3232], ["bumping", 3232], ["alongside", 3242], ["harbor", 3270], ["harbors", 3270], ["harborest", 3270], ["patrol", 3277], ["often", 3291], ["stop", 3299], ["stopped", 3299], ["boat", 3305], ["boated", 3305], ["boats", 3305], ["check", 3314], ["safety", 3325], ["issue", 3332], ["issues", 3332], ["crew", 3343], ["yacht", 3362], ["yachting", 3362], ["link", 3369], ["linked", 3369], ["look", 3409], ["looking", 3409], ["old", 3415], ["gentleman", 3425], ["wear", 3433], ["wearing", 3433], ["goatee", 3442], ["goatees", 3442], ["carry", 3455], ["carrying", 3455], ["briefcase", 3467], ["come", 3472], ["came", 3472], ["aboard", 3479], ["greet", 3495], ["greeting", 3495], ["greeted", 3495], ["door", 3511], ["gesture", 3524], ["gestured", 3524], ["enter", 3541], ["mr", 3565], ["selection", 3610], ["rung", 3619], ["rang", 3619], ["ring", 3619], ["rings", 3619], ["look", 3635], ["surprise", 3655], ["surprised", 3655], ["glance", 3680], ["glanced", 3680], ["window", 3696], ["windows", 3696], ["either", 3706], ["side", 3711], ["sidest", 3711], ["room", 3723], ["roomed", 3723], ["close", 3737], ["closest", 3737], ["landmass", 3746], ["least", 3759], ["leastest", 3759], ["mile", 3766], ["miles", 3766], ["middle", 3797], ["middles", 3797], ["middling", 3797], ["bay", 3808], ["good", 3831], ["best", 3831], ["ensure", 3845], ["privacy", 3853], ["shop", 3886], ["shopped", 3886], ["odd", 3898], ["place", 3905], ["places", 3905], ["regular", 3918], ["regulars", 3918], ["basis", 3924], ["assume", 3941], ["assumes", 3941], ["assumed", 3941], ["dock", 3954], ["jewelry", 3986], ["jewelries", 3986], ["store", 3992], ["good", 4019], ["afternoon", 4029], ["ms", 4034], ["choose", 4058], ["chosen", 4058], ["number", 4067], ["numbering", 4067], ["design", 4078], ["designs", 4078], ["base", 4084], ["basest", 4084], ["based", 4084], ["description", 4114], ["none", 4128], ["please", 4144], ["pleases", 4144], ["shop", 4177], ["shake", 4196], ["shaking", 4196], ["hand", 4205], ["place", 4223], ["placed", 4223], ["coffee", 4251], ["table", 4257], ["tabled", 4257], ["tabling", 4257], ["flip", 4269], ["flipping", 4269], ["flipped", 4269], ["open", 4277], ["nearly", 4292], ["fall", 4297], ["falls", 4297], ["fell", 4297], ["backward", 4311]]
if she were any other woman , i 'd have done that and more by now . she 'd be shirtless and skirtless , and i 'd be well on my way to f*king her to the finish line , if she was anyone else . but she 's not just anyone . she 's tru . she was my best friend , and is , and always will be way more than a quick fuck , irrespective of what my cck is saying right now . it 's the most fking confusing feeling i 've ever had in my life . and i do n't do confused . i want something i take it , or i make it happen . but i just ca n't do that with her . i fix my eyes on her face , avoiding the temptation to look at her legs again or her tits for that matter , and give her the respect she deserves . `` water would be great , thanks , '' she says . her cheeks redden again . did she used to blush this much when we were kids ? `` you sure you do n't want orange juice or something ? '' he shows his face a few seconds later . i bet the nosey bastard has been stood by the door listening in . `` can you get tru a glass of water and i 'll have an orange juice , please . '' stuart nods , smiling at me , then goes off to get our drinks . nosy fker has been listening in . i 'm feeling restless . i need a smoke but i do n't want to light up in front of her for some unexplained reason . `` so , this is a little crazy , huh ? '' she casts a glance at me , pressing her gorgeous pouty lips together . i want to kiss them , see them around my dick ... `` so how have you been ? '' i 'm music journalist now , obviously ... '' she mumbles . she seems really uncomfortable around me . maybe she 's not as happy to see me , as i am her . `` you always were a good writer , '' i encourage . `` yeah , those stories you used to make up when we were little , and then you used to make me sit and listen to you while you read them back to me , '' i chuckle . she was such a cute thing when she was younger . her face goes bright red . `` oh god , '' she groans . `` and of course you always loved music so it makes sense the two went together . you still play the piano ? '' she was amazing on the keys . i could sit and listen to her play for hours when we were younger . i stopped- '' she pauses . i fell out of it , you know , '' she adds sounding really uncomfortable now . `` well obviously you do n't know . '' she gestures to my guitar . i smile at her , but i 'm not feeling it . why is she so uncomfortable around me ? i thought she might be pissed at me for stopping contact , but not uncomfortable . it 's not the whole me being famous shit is it ? she was the one person i would never have expected that from . tru thanks him for her drink . apart from her ? i look at tru in question . `` no , we 're good thanks , '' i say dismissing him . i have a drink of my juice . `` so i 'd ask how you 're doing but ... '' she gestures around at our surroundings . i force a laugh , and rub my hand over chin . leaning forward , i put my drink down on the table and rest my forearms on my legs . the girl i loved , still love , does n't appear to have missed me like i 've missed her . the one girl that has meant so much to me for so long , the one i had to let go of , but never forgot , and have been too afraid to find , looks like she 'd rather be anywhere but here with me . so yeah , i 'm absolutely fan-fking-tastic . i wonder why she came ? probably forced to by her editor . i feel like such a dumbass . i 've been here freaking out like a fking idiot over her , and she 's just indifferent to me . `` i 've followed your music career , '' she says out of the blue . now i am surprised . i would n't have thought she cared to . music is my job . '' so it 's not because it was me , but because of who i am . `` but that 's not just why , '' she adds . i was really proud watching you on tv and reading the articles about your music , and when you set up your own label - i was like , 'wow ' ... and i 've got bought all your albums , of course and they 're really brilliant . '' one minute she 's acting like she could n't give a shit about seeing me . the next she 's tripping over her words , trying to give me the impression she does . easiest way to find out - ask her .	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bella groans while she presses her face into the cushions of the couch , trying to stifle the sounds . when i ease up again a little she comes forth with a much better suggestion . `` i have a more or less see-through top alice brought me from spain . the black one i usually wear with a tank top underneath ? '' that rings a very dim bell , but it sounds sufficient . `` you will wear that top underneath the corset , but of course without a bra or anything else . '' bella slumps at hearing my words and the clear implication that while theoretically dressed , her tits will be quite on display above the underbust corset , but of course she does n't object . `` you told me you got a suitable skirt ? '' `` yes , sir , a short wrap around one with a tie at the waistband . '' `` you will wear that . no stockings or hose , and i want you barefoot . '' increasing the force behind the spanking one last time i add , `` and you will wear a leather collar so everyone sees at once that you 're my beautiful sub . '' my last slap is by far the hardest , hard enough to be painful for me , too , and bella screams loud for a second or two . she instantly relaxes when i let go of her and rub her aching butt gently . now unrestrained she brings her hands underneath her head , cushioning her face as she eases herself further into my touch . i 'm impressed that she 's taken the spanking so well , and the devious part of my mind is quite gleeful about the fact that tomorrow her ass will be sore still and might bear a few light bruises . those thoughts only worsen the ache in my cock , and i decide it 's about time to ease that strain . `` up you go , '' i nudge her lightly , and bella flops off my lap into a crouch , a lot less gracefully than before . her near silent groan when she stretches makes my dick jump , and i nod down at the bulge in my jeans . `` do something about that . '' bella licks her lips , then looks a little sheepish as she kneels down before me , reaching for the button on my fly . her mouth is hot and wet when she takes my cck in , one of her hands wrapped around my shaft , the other gently massaging my balls . i thread my hands into her hair to ease her into the right rhythm but otherwise let her work as she sucks me off , her red ass as much of a visual turn-on as my cck disappearing between her lips . it does n't take her long to make me come deep down her throat , and i just smirk at the face she briefly makes at the taste of my jizz . i think between the two of us , i 'm the one who minds less , which kind of adds to the fun for me . once she 's done packing me up again i pat the couch next to me , making her crawl closer where she curls up as i hug her , still buck nakd and clearly content . i kiss her hair softly as i turn on the tv , and we spend the evening like that . i still have to grin everytime she re-arranges herself and emits a low groan or gasp of discomfort , but she never complains , and i love her even more for being what she is , even though she sometimes still seems to need some reassurance - my perfect woman . chapter 15 i can tell that bella is incredibly nervous when she straightens before me for a last inspection . she is absolutely stunning and i hate myself for being so dumb to actually think - even for a moment - that it 's a good idea to go to the party . because i really need to fk her , right now , and i know that if i give in we wo n't even get out of our bedroom for the next hours . sometimes i really wonder why i 've ever been proud of my self-restraint , too . normally bella is all for understated make-up , but just like with our last scene , today she has put real effort into her appearance . her hair is freshly washed and cascades down her shoulders in shining , brown curls , a few strands gathered at the back of her head to keep them clear off her face . her eyes look even more expressive than usual with the heavy dark makeup , and her lips shine with the softest of pink hues . that i notice all this is my effort to keep from staring at the rest of her body too much , i have to admit , but she did a great job that actually deserves to be admired - i 'm just not the right guy for that . what 's more distracting is what she 's wearing , just what i told her to yesterday . the short-sleeved dark top is so sheer that i have no problems watching her nples harden under my scrutiny , where her br*sts are slightly supported by the corset stopping right underneath them .	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i can only assume it has to do with the mistletoe arrangements . he has been terribly finicky about them . sebastian felt the corner of his mouth perk up . there , thats a start . i suggest you gentlemen have a drink of champagne and find some ladies to dance with . we have an excellent selection . she winked , making sebastians mouth tick up further . maybe mr. beckett will find his smile . with that , they were dismissed . what is the matter with you , bass ? you werent so egg-headed on the continent as to insult our hostess first thing upon entering her home , jude chided under his breath as they squeezed past the throngs and into the ballroom proper . i know , sebastian replied . jude just sighed , prompting sebastian to slap him on the back . i promise , i will try to find a bit of holiday spirit . look , he said , pointing across the elegant room . isnt that parkhurst ? i havent seen him since we left university . their old school chum stood with a group of young men , centered around someone . sebastian could see the swish of ivory silk skirts but nothing else . judes face broke out into a grin . whos he standing with ? parkhurst , old man ! a chorus of greetings came their way as jude leapt forward to hail old friends and make new . and in that moment , sebastian decided to be happy . jude and lady winterson were right : he was here now , why not try to make the best of it ? try and find a smile and some christmas cheer . yes , he missed custard house and his family . yes , he missed the country , and his friends , and even little susie westforth running wild over the hills on her horse . but right now , there was wine to be had ( as he grabbed a glass off a passing tray ) and friends to reacquaint himself with ( as he clapped parkhurst on the shoulder ) , and apparently , a young lady that had captured everyones attention . home would wait a few more days for him . it would not have changed . that was the last thought he could remember before parkhurst turned to greet them , allowing sebastian a peek at the young lady that was the center of all this male attention . he saw her all at once , but in that moment , it was as though his mind could comprehend her only in small pieces . dark , silky hair , done up in intricate falling curls that touched against creamy soft shoulders . her dress clung to the curves on her slim frame , making a man acutely aware of what was seen and what was unseen . hooded eyes sparkling in the candlelight , a knowing smile painted on a full-lipped mouth that offered a hint of promise hope for whispered conversation full of double meanings . and her voice it was as familiar to him as a song , but somehow , hed never heard it this way before . hello , sebastian , susannah westforth purred . little no more . chapter three have you spotted them yet ? lucy frost , lady winterson , said in a rushed whisper . spotted who ? philbert replied , distracted . she had found him in an intimate alcove just off the ballroom , blessedly empty , fussing with the mistletoe again . making sure it hung perfectly , in the middle of the garland that decorated the close space . he just arrived ! young mr. beckett . julia wrote me to be on the lookout for him , should he ever decide to return from abroad . and of course , he chooses tonight of all nights to do so ! lucy could feel her face blush with giddy excitement . she knew that after all these years of hosting the christmas ball , she should be used to the rush of excitement , merriment , and joy it gave her , but instead it came unbidden anew , making her feel young again . but philbert was looking down on her with concern . your face , my lady . youve become quite flushed . he put out his hand to feel the side of her cheek , shocking her with his touch . i , ah i am merely pleased , is all . she felt herself flushing more from his touch and told herself she was relieved when he put his hand down . mr. beckett is here , miss westforth is here , and i am certain sparks will fly between them . that is , once we put them together . philbert glanced over her shoulder into the ballroom beyond . i fear there is little we need to do for this couple . she followed his gaze to where she could see miss susannah westforth , the most sought after young lady of the past season , surrounded by a sea of young men , giving sebastian beckett her hand to bow over . startled , he did so .	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while he was gone , ruth decided she had to find out how much her family knew about her grandmother 's war exploits . she opened her purse and rummaged for her cell phone . paul brought the coffee and set her plastic cup on the table . ruth glanced up long enough to thank him with a smile . `` i 'm calling my parents . '' paul nodded , tentatively sipping hot coffee . then , in an obvious effort to give her some privacy , he moved to stand by the rail , gazing out at the water . her father answered on the third ring . `` dad , it 's ruth , '' she said in a rush . `` well , ruthie , this is a pleasant surprise . i 'll get your mother . '' her father had never enjoyed telephone conversations and generally handed the phone off to ruth 's mother . `` wait-i need to talk to you , '' ruth said . that was her dad , too . he did n't like chitchat and wanted to get to the point as quickly as possible . `` i went over to see grandma this afternoon . '' we 've been meaning to get up there and see her and you . i do n't know where the time goes . thanksgiving was our last visit . '' ruth was n't sure what to say . her grandmother seemed fragile and old , and ruth had never thought of her as either . she 's the same , except-well , except she might have lost a few pounds . '' ruth looked over at paul and bit her lip . `` i ... brought a friend along with me . '' `` your roommate ? `` lynn blumenthal . no , this is a male friend . '' that caught her father 's attention . `` someone from school ? '' `` no , we met sort of ... by accident . his name is paul gordon and he 's a sergeant in the marines . we 've been corresponding for the past four months . but paul is n't the reason i 'm phoning . '' ruth dragged in a deep breath . `` like i said before , i was visiting grandma . '' `` with this marine you 're seeing , '' he reiterated . ruth did n't dare look at paul a second time . nervously , she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned forward , lowering her voice . `` grandma was in france during world war ii . her father paused . `` were you aware that she was a member of the french resistance ? '' `` my father mentioned something shortly before he died , but i never got any more information . '' `` did n't you ask your mother ? '' `` i tried , but she refused to talk about it . she said some things were better left buried and deflected all my questions . do you mean to say she told you about this ? '' `` yes , and , dad , the stories were incredible ! did you know grandma was married before she met grandpa sam ? '' this statement was greeted by a shocked silence . `` her husband 's name was jean-claude , '' she added . `` a frenchman ? '' she frowned as she tried to recall his surname from the poster . `` he was part of the movement , too , and grandma , your mother , went into a gestapo headquarters and managed to get him out . '' the question was obviously loud enough for paul to hear from several feet away , because his eyebrows shot up as their eyes met . `` yes , dad , your mother . i was desperate to learn more , but she got tired all of a sudden , and neither paul nor i wanted to overtax her . she 's taking a nap now , and paul and i are on the ferry back to seattle . '' ruth thought she heard her father mutter something like `` holy mother of god , '' then take a long , ragged breath . `` all these years and she 's never said a word to me . dad did , as i told you , but he did n't give me any details , and i never believed mom 's involvement amounted to much-it was more along the lines of moral support , i always figured . my dad was over there and we knew that 's where he met mom . '' `` did they ever go back to france ? '' they did some traveling , but mostly in north america-florida , mexico , quebec ... '' `` i guess she really was keeping the past buried , '' ruth said . `` she must realize she 's getting near the end of her life , '' her father went on , apparently thinking out loud . `` and she wants us to know . i 'm grateful she was willing to share this with you . still , it 's pretty hard to take in . my mother ... part of the french resistance . she told me she was in school over there . '' ruth did n't want her father to think helen had lied to him . `` then how in heaven 's name did she get involved in that ? '' `` what made her start talking about it now ? 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she let out a sigh of contentment and felt a smile tug at her mouth . `` i should have done it while we drove , but i could n't reach you , and i did n't think it would be a good idea for you to lie down in my lap . '' it sounded like a lovely idea to her , but right now she was n't exactly thinking clearly . her head was fogged with warmth and a resonant hum of power . his touch was intoxicating , lowering her inhibitions and making her forget what was really important . a moment later , he pulled away and all those tingly feelings were gone . she mourned the loss of his touch , but said nothing . `` you 'll need to sleep now . '' besides , i do n't have time to waste . she moved to slide out of the truck , but iain 's big body blocked her way . his expression was hard and demanding . `` you will sleep or i 'll find a way to make you . what i did is temporary , and i only did it so you would n't be ashamed of your weakness . do n't make me regret that decision . '' arguing with him would have been foolish , so she decide to patronize him . he followed her inside , tracking her footsteps all the way to her suite . on the way , she considered the wisdom of inviting him inside , but her decision was taken from her hands when she found joseph waiting for them outside her suite . the look on his face was grim , and his shoulders sagged with weariness . `` nicholas said you 'd just arrived . i thought you 'd want to be in on this . '' jackie followed behind , both curious and apprehensive about what was going on . with every step she took , some of the bubbling energy zinging through her began to fade . iain was right . whatever he 'd done was n't going to last long . they filed in to find joseph 's office already filled with people . helen and drake were standing in one corner , their heads close together , in quiet conversation . nika sat on a corner of joseph 's desk with madoc hovering over her . he seemed pale , and , if she did n't know better , afraid . tynan lounged in joseph 's chair , his elegant fingers steepled under his chin . he was by far the prettiest person in the room , including the women , but jackie admired him about as much as she had the demons who 'd held her hostage . any creature that lived on the blood of others was not to be trusted . `` shut the door , '' ordered joseph as he walked in . iain was the last one in , and he closed the door behind him . jackie found herself inching toward him , seeking some kind of comfort in a room where none was going to be had . `` two hours ago , i was contacted by henry mason . synestryn tried to take his ten-year-old daughter tonight . '' jackie swayed on her feet as the meaning of his words sank in . a child-a little girl-had been attacked by the demons . iain 's arm slid around her shoulders , steadying her . she could n't help but lean against him . it made her a weaker person , but the horrors she 'd seen in those caves came slamming into her , reminding her of just how much danger this child was in . asked tynan , rising to his feet . joseph 's nostrils flared with anger as he nodded . `` autumn was one of the girls we rescued the night we found jackie . '' that little girl had been in that same system of caves ? jackie had probably seen her , though she had n't known her name . there had been so many of them coming and going . after a while , she 'd stopped wanting to know about them . all she needed to know was that it was her job to keep them as safe as she could for as long as she could . over and over she 'd let them down . they 'd been raped , killed . she had n't been able to stop it . `` we 're leaving , '' announced iain , his grip tightening around her . `` this is too much to ask of her right now . '' iain was talking about jackie-about her discomfort . she was so used to being on her own that it felt odd to have someone else defend her . she looked up at iain and took his hand . her fingers threaded through his . they were thick and strong , callused from swordplay , and so incredibly warm . `` i 'm okay , '' she reassured him . `` you 're pale , shaking , and scared out of your mind . and i ca n't let it stand . '' `` autumn is smart . she snapped a photo of the synestryn that tried to take her , '' said joseph . `` with her phone . henry sent it to me . 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pushing back the tears that threatened at the thought of marrying a man she did not love when the man she truly desired had declared himself eager to court her , she stabbed a piece of chicken with her fork . it was a fate she would have to accept . social standing would make it difficult for the duke of kingsborough to show any interest in making her his duchess , and it was unlikely he 'd wish to once her father spoke to him . if he still wanted her after discovering that she was nothing more than the daughter of a carriage driver , he 'd want her as his mistress . it was disheartening to consider , but in this instance she had to agree with her mother-being realistic was of far greater importance than being romantic . chapter 12 as was to be expected , mr. roberts appeared at precisely three o'clock the following day , dressed in a moss green velvet jacket and a pair of dark brown buckskin breeches with newly buffed hessians to match . `` miss chilcott , '' he said , bowing toward isabella as he entered the parlor . `` you look lovely today . i see that you took my suggestion of tying a cerulean blue ribbon in your hair to heart . '' he did not smile as he said it but managed to maintain the perfectly bland expression that isabella had come to expect from him . the ribbon had been her mother 's suggestion , since isabella had no recollection of him having mentioned any such thing-probably because he 'd said it during one of her woolgathering moments . and although she hated having ribbons tied in her hair ( they always got in the way or came loose to dangle in one 's eyes ) , she had submitted herself to her mother 's command . it was vital that she got mr. roberts to offer for her as soon as possible , and given his character , this was more likely to be accomplished if isabella showed herself to be agreeable . `` yes , '' she heard herself say as they took their seats on the sofa across from her parents . `` i believe it was very sound advice . '' with a nod of approval , mr. roberts 's gaze slid sideways . `` ah , the infamous apple pie , '' he said . `` it looks even better than i remember . '' isabella stifled a groan while her mother did the honor of serving them all a slice and pouring tea . `` i trust you have all been well since i last saw you , '' mr. roberts said , following a bite of pie with a sip of tea . `` very much so , '' isabella 's mother said . her voice was completely level , and she even managed what looked to be a genuine smile . there was absolutely no trace of the tension that was surely strung as tight as a bow inside her . `` and you , mr. roberts ? has business been good for you this past week ? '' `` it has been acceptable-not too busy and not too slow . '' he set his cup on its saucer , leaned back against the sofa and folded his hands in his lap , saying nothing further . isabella reached for the pie . she 'd already had one piece , but she felt the need to occupy herself with something , and eating pie-even though it was apple and she 'd grown quite tired of that particular flavor-felt like a useful way to accomplish this . but just as she picked up the knife , mr. roberts said , `` not that i mean to pass judgment , miss chilcott , but i do wish you would have a care for your figure . '' her grip on the knife tightened . would it be so terrible if she stabbed the man to death right there on the sofa ? feeling her mother 's eyes upon her , isabella took a calming breath , set the knife aside and turned her head to look at mr. roberts directly , saying , `` i was actually hoping that you might like to go for a stroll with me after tea . '' this had been her parents ' idea , for they had deemed it safer for isabella to be out of the house in case the duke stopped by . it would also offer her a bit of alone time with mr. roberts , which was meant to encourage him in his pursuit of her . mr. roberts nodded thoughtfully as he plucked a piece of lint from his jacket . `` yes , that would be most agreeable-the weather is ideal for a stroll about town . perhaps we can find a new pair of gloves for you . '' `` that 's very thoughtful of you , but i already have a perfectly good pair . '' his grimace was so subtle that isabella probably would n't have noticed it if she 'd been sitting a little further away from him . the message was clear-he did not approve of the gloves she currently owned , which caused her to wonder what else he might disapprove of and , more to the point , how much of herself she 'd have to change in order for him to find her acceptable .	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anne marie was n't sure how to phrase the question . teresa bit her lip as if considering how to respond . `` not really ... what makes you ask ? '' `` there were a number of hang-ups on my personal phone . i just wondered if it was something to do with the bookstore . '' `` okay , i was just curious . it 's a bit odd , that 's all . '' anne marie collected her mail and turned away . `` wait a minute , '' teresa said , stopping her . anne marie turned back . `` there was someone here earlier in the week . he asked to speak to you regarding a private matter . '' a private matter ? `` did he leave his name or number ? '' i asked , and he said he 'd contact you later . '' again , this was all rather odd . teresa 's eyes narrowed slightly . `` no , not that i can recall . '' a smile wavered on her lips . `` actually , he was pretty hot . '' `` def ine hot. `` `` tall-about six-one , maybe six-two . he 's nice-looking . very nice-looking . '' `` dark hair ? or blond ? '' he seemed anxious to talk to you . do you know who it might be ? '' `` what about your hang-ups ? that might 've been him . is there a number on caller id ? '' anne marie exhaled loudly . `` it came up no data . '' `` then i guess we 'll have to wait and see if he comes by again . '' that was her thought , too . well , a tall , dark and handsome stranger apparently wanted to meet her . chapter 6 honey , knitting is so much more than just plain obsessive compulsive behavior ... it 's the healthiest addiction i know ! -antje gillingham , owner of the knitting nest in maryville , tn lydia goetz it 's my habit to check each room before retiring for the night . brad was already in bed , reading michael connelly 's latest suspense novel . as i walked through the house , i checked the locks and turned off the lights in the kitchen . then i looked in on cody , who was fast asleep . chase , my stepson 's golden retriever , slept on the braided rug next to cody 's bed . when i opened the bedroom door a crack , chase-ever vigilant-raised his head . seeing me , he lowered his head again . all was well in the house and in my world . i had a new feeling of anticipation , a sense of excitement that stayed with me . it had begun the day i received a call from evelyn boyle regarding our approval as adoption candidates . just as i entered our bedroom , the phone rang . `` good grief , who 'd be calling after ten o'clock ? '' brad asked as he set his book aside . i reached for the telephone on my bedstand , half expecting this had to do with my mother . `` oh , lydia , it 's evelyn boyle . i apologize for contacting you this late . '' my gaze automatically sought out brad 's . it did n't seem possible that they 'd have an infant for us so soon . nevertheless my heart raced . `` listen , i would n't ask if i had any alternative . '' `` i have a foster child-a girl . it 's an emergency case and i need a home for casey for two nights . '' this was the very thing margaret had said would happen , the very thing she 'd warned me about . `` two nights , '' i repeated , the hesitation in my voice impossible to disguise . `` casey is attending summer school and unless she f inishes , she wo n't be able to go on to the eighth grade in september . sending her back to seventh grade would be a disaster . she 's only twelve and this is a diff icult year for her . '' `` i thought summer school just started . '' a friend of cody 's had gotten behind in math and was now attending a summer program that had recently begun and would go through the month of july . `` well , yes , but if casey can spend tonight and possibly tomorrow night with you , that 'll give me the necessary time to f ind her another long-term foster home . '' i bit my lip , uncertain what to say . `` two nights , lydia . it would make a world of difference to casey . she really ca n't miss a single class . '' `` i 'll need to discuss this with my husband . '' `` ah ... i could stay on the line . '' `` you 're sure this is only for a couple of nights ? '' `` okay , i 'll ask . '' i held the receiver against my shoulder . `` it 's evelyn boyle ... . she has a twelve-year-old girl who needs a bed for the next two nights . 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his warm breath disturbed some tendrils of hair at her temples . with her arm around his neck and her hand holding his far shoulder , she felt his muscles flex and move as he effortlessly carried her up the stairs . she focused her gaze at his collarbone and bit her lip . the temptation to kiss along his jawline , just shadowed with stubble , was disturbing . when they mercifully reached the second floor , he put her down , being careful to support her with one hand until she 'd had a chance to plant the crutches he handed back to her . the second floor had five bedrooms , and two were not furnished at all , she soon discovered . `` i have n't had a chance to do anything about those , '' he said almost apologetically . `` it 's been years since i bought the place , but i 've let the decorating sort of languish . '' they paused outside the third door . `` this is the master bedroom , '' he said as he opened the door . she was n't sure what she 'd been expecting , but it was n't the sight that greeted her . antique furniture in a rich rosewood filled the room , which was dominated by a king-sized bed . cream-colored bedding , upholstery , and drapes offered a sharp contrast to the wood finish . the result was breathtaking . quentin liked antiques ? and if looks were anything to judge by , he was fairly knowledgeable . she was , no , stunned . `` this was in your apartment ? '' he grinned at her shocked tone . `` hey , do n't sound so surprised . the word 'taste ' and i are not completely incompatible . '' `` sorry , it 's just i pictured something ... er ... . '' `` -with leather and lots of mirrors ? '' he supplied with a chuckle . an involuntary smile rose to her lips . embarrassed that he 'd been able to guess her thoughts , she changed the subject . `` i had no idea you liked antiques . '' `` at harvard , i 'd sometimes go for a drive to take a break from cramming for exams . occasionally i 'd come across an antique show , or just someone 's yard sale . '' `` i 'm just surprised because you did n't seem to give any thought to the decor in your office , '' she offered . but that 's not personal space , it 's work space . i figured those guys at the architectural firm knew what they were doing . i sure paid them enough . '' she picked up the clock on the bureau . its elaborate woodwork marked it as a victorian-era piece . `` this is just charming . '' `` i have a great collection of clocks and timepieces , '' he said as he came up to stand next to her . `` i suppose the watch museum in geneva is your favorite museum ? '' `` i 've visited several times , when i can spare time on a business trip . '' `` yes , i visited it on a trip to europe during college . '' `` this furniture i picked up through an antiques dealer . except for the bed frame . that i bid on anonymously at an auction . '' `` yes , it 's impressive . '' she went over to the bed and gave it an obligatory pat . `` do you know the age ? '' `` dates from the 1890s . '' `` did you need to restore it ? '' he had walked up behind her as she skimmed her fingertips over the headboard . `` no , it had been kept in great shape . '' she was very aware of him and the tension coiling within her . trying to keep the conversation going , she went on , `` intricately hand carved , i see . '' was it her overly-sensitized senses , or had the timbre of his voice deepened a notch ? she kept her gaze focused on the headboard . `` must have been expensive . '' he was very close now , his breath disturbing her hair , and blocking her means of escape . `` yeah , but i liked the intricate carving . '' his hand settled over hers on the headboard , guiding the tip of her index finger over the swirling indentations and protrusions of the smooth wood . she was melting like butter in the sun with the heat emanating from him . her gaze fixed on his hand covering hers , unable to look away or slip her hand from his as he continued to move their hands over the headboard . `` you can tell he took his time , '' he said huskily '' everything needed to be perfect , and so he created something astoundingly beautiful . '' just when she thought she could n't stand any more , he dropped his hand from where it covered hers . before she could exhale however , his hands settled on her shoulders and he nuzzled her neck . `` perhaps the craftsman did n't work alone . '' he was smiling , his eyes crinkling in amusement . `` as an expert on antiques , i can assure you , he did n't . 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at the hearing , they 'll lay out all the evidence they have , and a judge -- or , well , someone acting as a judge -- will decide if you should have a trial . the trial makes it official . that 's where they pass the verdict and dole out the punishment . '' `` why 'd they take so long for the hearing ? why 'd they make me wait in that cell all day ? '' he laughed , but not because he thought it was funny . `` this is fast , rose . it can take days or weeks to get a hearing , and if you do go to trial , you 'll stay locked up until then . '' `` will they move fast on that too ? '' no monarch 's been murdered in almost a hundred years . people are running wild , and the council wants to establish order . they 're already making huge plans for the queen 's funeral -- a giant spectacle that 'll distract everyone . your hearing is also an attempt to establish order . '' `` the sooner they convict the murderer , the safer everyone will feel . they think this case against you is so solid , they want to rush it through . they want you to be guilty . they want to bury her knowing her killer is moving toward justice , so that everyone can sleep easy when the new king or queen is elected . '' `` but i did n't -- '' i let my denial go . ahead of us , the building that housed the courtroom loomed . it had seemed forbidding the first time i 'd been here for victor 's trial , but that had been owing to fear of the memories he sparked in me . now ... now it was my own future on the line . and apparently not just my own future -- the moroi world was watching and waiting , hoping i was a villain who could be safely put away forever . swallowing , i gave mikhail a nervous look . `` do you think ... do you think they 'll send me to trial ? '' one of the guards held the door open for us . `` will they really put me on trial for murder ? '' walking into the courtroom was one of the most surreal experiences of my life -- and not just because i was the one being accused here . it just kept reminding me of victor 's trial , and the idea that i was now in his place was almost too weird to comprehend . entering a room with a troop of guardians makes people stare -- and believe me , there were a lot of people packed in there -- so naturally , i did n't skulk or look ashamed . i walked with confidence , my head held high . again , i had that eerie flashback to victor . he too had walked in defiantly , and i 'd been appalled that someone who had committed his crimes could behave that way . were these people thinking the same thing about me ? on the dais at the front of the room sat a woman i did n't recognize . among the moroi , a judge was usually a lawyer who had been appointed to the position for the purposes of the hearing or whatever . the trial itself -- at least a big one like victor 's -- had been presided over by the queen . she had been the one to ultimately decide the final verdict . here , the council members would be the ones to decide if i even reached that stage . that 's where they pass the verdict and dole out the punishment . my escort took me to the front seating of the room , past the bar that separated the key players from the audience , and motioned me toward a spot next to a middle-aged moroi in a very formal and very designer black suit . the suit screamed , i 'm sorry the queen is dead , and i 'm going to look fashionable while showing my grief . his hair was a pale blond , lightly laced with the first signs of silver . somehow , he made it look good . i presumed this was damon tarus , my lawyer , but he did n't say a word to me . mikhail sat beside me as well , and i was glad they 'd chosen him to be the one who literally did n't leave my side . glancing back , i saw daniella and nathan ivashkov sitting with other high-ranking royals and their families . adrian had chosen not to join them . he sat farther back , with lissa , christian , and eddie . all of their faces were filled with worry . the judge -- an elderly , gray-haired moroi who looked like she could still kick ass -- called the room to attention , and i twisted around to face forward again . the council was entering , and she announced them one by one . two sets of benches had been arranged for them , two rows of six with a thirteenth in back raised . of course , only eleven of the spots were filled , and i tried not to scowl . lissa should have been sitting there . when the council was settled , the judge turned to face the rest of us and spoke in a voice that rang through the room .	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we understand you have a working knowledge of data base management . could you clarify please ? doris had suddenly reappeared with a fresh carafe of coffee , which she placed by laura , and just as quickly disappeared again . laura responded to rogers question by first refilling their cups to buy a few seconds while her mind raced , then responded as forthrightly as she could : its true i have some experience in data base management . my husband sold and managed commercial/industrial insurance and loss prevention policies , and i ran the office end of things in our home . mostly , it was recording the insured assets , location , information like that . he handled claims and so on , but i did all the prep work . as you probably already know , i didnt handle the cash flow . i am embarrassed to admit that was an area i didnt have under control , and worse yet , i never allowed myself to suspect . but , im sure youre not interested in the blame game . to repeat , yes , i have data base management experience , but i wont lie to you . i dont know if i can handle an operation of this size and complexity . i can tell you that i understand the need for confidentiality . what you might consider is facility coding so whomever manages the data base only knows some parameter is out of its limits and can bring it to your attention , but doesnt know the name of the actual facility . it might be a little cumbersome , but from a data management standpoint , its just data and whatever you name it , its just still data and the system doesnt care . anyway , its a thought . i guess my answer is i think i can but truthfully , im a little nervous . ryan winced slightly at the words my husband . as good a businessman as he was , his exact thoughts at that moment were on a far different track , and the sharp reminder of the existence of lauras husband snapped him back to reality . he chided himself mentally ; this was no way to be thinking . he had certainly seen his share of beautiful women , some articulate and well educated , some very interested in furthering their interests in him , yet none had held his attention like this woman . she was much like his mary , yet different in many respects , and married . that point ryan fixed in his mind so he would be ever mindful of the fact . in the meantime , roger had forged ahead in the interview , unaware that ryan had been mentally absent for a few moments . roger considered lauras very candid response and respected her cut to the chase approach . other things aside for a moment , we know some really good consultants . if we brought in a consultant to help set things up , establish an interface network , things like that , would you like to discuss further managing the data base for us ? other things aside , yes , i would . i should mention before we go any farther that no job or position at windmere is considered to be any more important or any less important than any other . if i need to be a bartending ceo , or help dennis get the grounds in condition , or franz make airport runs , i do it . im telling you this so if you are asked to serve dessert at 2 am to some potentate to help out doris or marie , it would be because the task needs done , not because anyone else is more or less important to the organization . we will never ask you to do anything you believe to be illegal , immoral , or against your will , or dangerous to your being . about the fattening aspect , thats doris problem . windmere considers people to be individuals . employment agreements , where possible , are tailored to the person . for instance , we are aware that for you to attend a 2 am meeting would require childcare services . we do try to not surprise people with those events , but we do have some really heavy hitters for clients who like to have their way . occasionally , things just happen , and we cope . the other issue of financial significance has to do with where you live if you decide to stay . some staff , like dennis and franz , and mrs. hamilton , live at windmere . others , such as myself and doris , live in conyerville or close by . it matters only to determine the starting pay level , that is , do you need to pay rent or not . i will tell you also , in case you were wondering , our allowance for housing is not the same as we charge a client for an equivalent unit . so , would you care to tour while thinking this over ? your kids are probably wondering what happened to you by now anyway . please , potty break first . i mean.sorry , that just sort of came out . ive been around little kids a lot the last few years . i guess it didnt sound very mature or adult . roger enjoyed a good laugh at her discomfort . our kids have been out of the house for probably twenty years now , and we still refer to it as a potty break .	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there are a thousand different , but more importantly palatable coffeehouses in the greater seattle area , but frescos is a tradition for pip and me . weve been meeting here ever since we were poor , struggling students and their drip coffee was all we could afford . i see my best friend arrive , looking immaculate as ever . her hair is swept back into a classic chignon and her pantsuit is perfectly creased in all the right places . i look like a tramp in my cuffed-up jeans and my long-sleeved t-shirt . pippa breezes through the caf , grinning at marcus the barista , who will have her regular double espresso on the table precisely sixty seconds after she sits down . she dumps her louis vuitton onto the bench beside me and slumps down into a seat . morning , stranger . its been a week since ive seen her ; thats a lifetime for us . she gets comfy , giving me a wink . whats so urgent it couldnt wait until after id finished with my twentieth slightly deranged patient later on today ? pippa opted for psychology instead of medicine . we graduated at the same time ; shes been certified by the board of psychiatric medicine for the last fourteen months . she works out of an office downtown , dealing with patients who have been sentenced with mandatory therapy in one form or another . a lot of violent offenders walk through her doors . she could easily have chosen to work with prozac-happy , depressed housewives but she wanted more . said it felt better to help those who really needed it . i stare into the bottom of my empty coffee cup , suddenly doubting whether i should tell her anything that happened yesterday . butbut i think i need to . shes my best friend , but shes also always been able to see things from an unbiased point of view . if i told you i had a patient who had an issue they needed to talk through , youd already know i was talking about me , right ? okay , well , i wont bother with that spiel then . marcus drops her coffee off . she sips at it , raising one eyebrow at me . would save some time , yes . okay , well i just need to spit it out . i had sex with a guy . she spits her espresso back into the tiny cup . pips thought im going to be the last virgin standing for a long time now . it wasnt recently . it wasit was two years ago . the incredulous look she was sporting a second ago turns into something much colder . she puts her coffee down , staring at the tabletop . it wasntit wasnt something to sit around and dissect over a tub of ice cream , pip . it wasnt something i was exactly proud of , either . my god , you werent raped were you ? but this is the part where i either tell her the whole truth or i go for a watered-down version . im a complete coward in the end . she would never think badly of me for what i did but i just cant bear the shame of admitting it . i sold my virginity for information . information that i didnt even get , which means i sold it for nothing . i didnt know the guy . ii was drunk and we did it in the dark . i couldnt have even told you what he looked like until yesterday . pip closes her eyes and presses her fingertips into her forehead . please dont think im a slut . sloane , jeez she groans . i dont even know where to begin with this . how about after the judgmental part ? i would never , ever judge you . im justi just wanted something special for you . yknow , romance , red roses , champagne , fireworks i should have known she would never judge me . i push my bagel crumbs around on the plate sitting in front of me , pouting . oh , there were definitely fireworks . none of the other stuff , but definitely fireworks . she sighs and then reaches across the table , removing the plate so she can hold my hands in hers . so this has been playing on your mind for two whole years and you didnt tell me why ? because it wasnt exactly normal sex , if you get me . pippa looks like she doesnt understand , and then realization dawns on her face . soyou let some guy screw you and he was into some freaky stuff ? and wait , you said you didnt even know what he looked like until yesterday . he came into the hospital . his friend tried to kill herself . i need another coffee for this . she orders one for herself and one for me , and when she comes back she has more questions prepared . his voice is quite distinctive . i practically came out and asked him if he was the guy and , well , he didnt deny it . okay , so aside from the obvious conversation we should not need to have about you making smart choices , why are you chewing your nails off over this guy ? you havent heard a peep out of him since this happened ? sohe kind of kissed me . and it was kind of while i take a deep breath .	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she stood there a long moment wondering what she 'd missed , but seeing his determined look , she sighed and did as he said . when she was done , he went to the gun rack just inside the back entrance and pulled a pistol off the shelf . he shoved in a clip , pocketed two others and then reached for yet another gun . after giving it equal treatment , he donned a shoulder holster and tucked away both pistols . he glanced her way and then crossed the room , took her hand and started toward another section of the house . she shook her head to rid herself of the cobwebs that seemed to cling to her brain . she could n't imagine what on earth had spawned this reaction . `` rio , where are we going ? '' they took a short flight of stairs down into what appeared to be the basement . to her surprise , he stopped and pushed a button and elevator doors opened . her mouth gaped as rio ushered her inside . he hit another button and the elevator started down . she tried not to think of down , because down was below the ground . like way below . she had the sudden hysterical thought that he was taking her somewhere to execute her . when they stepped off , they were surrounded by complete darkness . as her eyes adjusted , she could make out dim lighting ahead . rio tucked her hand in his and guided her toward the distant glow . it took a moment for her to figure out that the light was coming down from a long tubelike opening in the ceiling of a tunnel . it was cool and kind of damp , like a cave , and she supposed that was indeed what they were in . man-made but a cave nonetheless . she shivered , though she was n't at all cold , and rio automatically pulled her in close to his side as if to share his warmth with her . men who did those kinds of things for a woman did n't turn around and shoot them , right ? what would he care if she was cold ? if she were dead , she 'd be plenty cold . she coughed to cover the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out . she 'd well and truly lost her mind . rio was n't going to kill her . he 'd had ample opportunity . moreover , it was uncharitable of her to think it , given how good he 'd been to her . hell , he 'd risked his life . his team had risked their lives . and here she was being a complete wuss because he was taking her down some dark tunnel god knows how many feet underground . they continued a ways down until she was certain they were away from the house . she also honed in on the fact that they were gradually working up in elevation . in the distance a faint noise made her brow wrinkle in concentration . she could n't quite make out what it was . it was a dull roar that got a little louder with every step they took . then she saw a small sliver of light from behind a boulder . there was a marked difference in the air . a lot of water . rio pulled her toward the light , and she realized it was an opening in the rock , well hidden from view . as she looked out , she saw that they were coming out behind a waterfall . transfixed , she followed rio , her stare riveted to the beautiful water cascading from the rock above and plummeting to the pool below . they were standing in a large hollow behind the falls , and there was a small footpath leading around the edge and away from the falling water . rio smiled and then directed her toward the path . she put her back to the rock and inched her way out so she did n't get soaked by the spray . once outside , she gazed around at the tranquil paradise that surrounded them . it 's my own private getaway . i come here often when i need to pull myself back together . '' pull himself together ? this was a man who looked permanently cemented together . he was n't someone who had so much as a crack , certainly not any she 'd seen . calculating and ... confident . that was the word escaping her . he was confident but not in an arrogant a**hole kind of way . he clearly knew he was competent-no , not competent . that made him seem merely adequate . he was certainly beyond simple competency and adequacy . her gaze stroked over him , taking in every detail . his demeanor , his silent strength and his composure . there was something magnetizing about him and she could n't even put her finger on what made it so . her gaze fell to the guns at his sides and then she frowned as she turned in a circle , surveying the jungle canopy that seemed a barrier to the rest of the world . a world that suddenly did n't seem so idyllic . not when she knew that evil was out there . rio tugged her farther down the path , spiraling down to the ground level , where the pool rippled and then led out to a small river cutting through the terrain . the tunnel leads to the back of the waterfall .	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she had always been good at reading me ; it was one of the things that came with being best friends for so many years . chewing the inside of my cheek , i replayed last night in my head for the millionth time , wondering if at any point i could have been drugged . i had never wished for that to be the case so badly in my life . slapping the plastic room key i held against the palm of my hand , i glanced at the ring i still wore , deciding that not everything was from a drug-induced hallucination . the ring was tangible evidence of that . fingering it , i slipped it over my knuckle repeatedly while i continued to think . after everything that had happened with delvin last night , the ring had loosened on its own . id left it in place with a mild hope that the connection it had with my mother still held , because regardless of how i felt about her last night , i still hoped for another chance to speak with her sometime soon . inhaling deeply , i made my way back down the metal stairs . i gripped the handle of my suitcase and pulled the heavy hotel door open . one of my wheels got stuck in the track of the door , and i fought to get it free while struggling not to become crushed by the door . a hand reached out and took control of the suitcase for me , pulling it away from the door with ease . glancing up , i locked eyes with a bell boy who couldnt have been much older than me . he flashed me a smile i was sure he thought made him look slick and debonair , but it didnt have the effect on me he was hoping for , because the only thing i could focus on was the shimmering deep red swirled together with a bright shade of orange surrounding him . his eyes trailed over me as the red flecks of glitter darkened and spread through the orange even more . letting the door click closed , i reached for my suitcase with a polite smile . he rolled my suitcase to his side , his wide smile never once dimming . let me help you down with this . i smoothed my hands along my jean-clad thighs . why was he looking at me like a lovesick puppy ? did you have a nice stay ? my friend and i had a great time . the red was now practically dimming out the vibrant orange i figured was his usual aura color . it hit me thenthis entire thing was real . i hadnt been drugged or dreaming , and everything my mother had said had been real . doubt crept back into my mind , because i wasnt sure if the succubus part was true . i couldnt seem to wrap my mind around it . sure , obviously i could see auras , but that didnt mean the other part was real . i licked along my bottom lip and brought my eyes back up to meet with the bell boys . he was staring at me as though i were a slice of chocolate cake he couldnt wait to devour . when we paused in front of the elevator , i pushed the down button and then crammed my hands into the back pockets of my jeans . would it be horrible of me to test it out , to kiss him and see if there was a repeat sensation from last night ? the memory of how i had felt crashed through me the same way i supposed an addict felt when craving another hit of their drug of choice . the doors to the elevator opened , revealing it empty . after we stepped inside , the bell boy pressed the ground floor button and the doors slipped closed before us . if i was going to do this , now was my chance . there would be no better moment and no better candidate than this guy , who i would never in my life see again . allowing this reasoning to fuel my actions , i erased the miniscule distance between us and pressed my lips against his . a heady haze instantly floated through me as the spicy sweet taste of a fireball candy filled my mouth . while it wasnt as intense a flavor or sensation as it had been the night before , it was still absolutely amazing . the elevator jerked to a stop and the doors slid open with a ding . i released the bell boy , feeling the euphoric dizziness from what had been transpiring between us dance through me . my fingers touched my parted lips as my heart picked up pace inside my chest . i gripped the handle of my suitcase and jerked it free from the dazed and confused bell boys hand before hightailing it out of the elevator . i was a freaking succubus . thank you for reading kiss of awakening , i hope you enjoyed it ! please consider leaving an honest review at your point of purchase . reviews help me in so many ways ! if you would like to know when my next novel is available , you can sign up for my newsletter here : http : //eepurl.com/vvrsb also , feel free to reach out and tell me your thoughts about the novel .	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i have a couch in the office anyway . despite feeling the length of the day and the two hours of sleep over the last forty eight hours i got , i dont want to complicate this more than it already appears to be developing . mia , please . this conference call is very important to me and i would hate to be distracted worrying about you going home alone at this late hour . other than brushing my shoulders and hand , he has done nothing out of line all night and he has helped me tremendously over the past few weeks . i wasnt sure if it was even him that i was concerned about or the strange dreams i had the other evening and waking up the way i did . alright , ill stay , but if you dont mind , ill just grab the afghan from your chair over there and stay here . his features turn disapproving as he glances at the couch . you know that you will be sore from this in the morning and you would be much more comfortable in one of the queen sized beds upstairs , but it is better than my worrying about you going home and im sure that it is quite a step for you , so i wont push my luck . he hesitates but then kisses the top of my head . i have to go and make that call , but at least let me grab you some comfortable pillows and a coverlet before i do , hopefully they will at least make the couch bearable . he returns , placing the items on the couch . thank you for such a nice evening . thank you for the covers . i hope your business goes well . spreading the covers out like a sleeping bag , i rest my head on the pillows . the fires red embers flare before extinguishing . the next thing i know someone is calling my name . jonathan is standing near the couch with a tray in his hands . sitting up , i look at my watch , its almost noon . swinging my legs to the floor , he sits beside me . i figure waffles are always a safe bet he says placing the tray before me . there is maple syrup or strawberries and cream . handing me a mug , try this . taking a sip , the coffee is the smoothest ive ever tasted . thank you , but you shouldnt have let me sleep so late . i have to be a work at four and im sure that my taking over your living room inconvenienced you . the past few days must have caught up with me . thats exactly why i wasnt going to disturb you , you need your rest . besides , you looked very beautiful adorning my couch this morning . he brushes a stray lock of hair out of my eyes . it is very well , thank you . it took everything i had when i came out of the office not to pick you up and carry you into one of the spare rooms so that you would be more comfortable , but i didnt want you waking up somewhere else and getting the wrong impression . i would not have appreciated waking up somewhere else . after you eat , ill take you home so you can get ready for your shift . i can call a cab , really . i have probably already upset your plans for today . i have business in the city anyway . arriving at my apartment , he turns to me . would you be terribly upset if i did something ? i guess that depends upon what it is . he leans across the seat and my heart spikes , i want to back away , but am frozen . he kisses me on the cheek , at least he didnt move toward my lips or linger . thank you for having dinner with me and staying , it was a very nice evening . i had a very nice time . he gets out and opens my door . good-bye i run upstairs , shower and get ready to go to the hospital . i notice that there is a missed call on my phone and hit reply . mia , hi , im glad you got back to me , salvatore said he would be happy to meet with us tomorrow morning if that still works for you . im working until eight . is nine oclock good for you ? ill meet you at the studio . i arrive to a typical day of broken bones , sutures , and two teams in surgery . janet catches me in the hall . julian said he covered your shift so that jonathan could take you out . i sigh knowing how she is going to blow this out of proportion , but if i hedge shell know and make more of a big deal of it . he took me to his house for dinner on the patio . and ... we talked about the auctions that amanda backed me into . she hits me on the shoulder . please tell me that you are lying . he took you to his house and you talked about benefits and not the preferred kind . mia , he is sexy , rich and very interested in you . why do you think he has been helping you so much ? i just dont want to get involved . no you would much rather be alone and lonely for the rest of your life while the world moves on .	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so i said , with a quick suck at her ear lobe . was that the first time ? she nodded , shuddering when my thigh slid deeper between her legs . you never tried it on your own ? of course i tried . she brushed hair away from her face and kissed the back edge of my jaw , then moved toward my ear . i tilted my head back to give her better access . youve read about it ? i was unreasonably turned on by the thought of her propped up on a pillow in bed , holding a dirty book in one hand and getting to know herself with the other . i knew what was supposed to happen . alas , im not as good with my hands as you are . that , and so much more you want me to ? while you watch ? she looked both horrified and intrigued . youre adorable when you blush . it makes me want to say dirty things , just to watch your cheeks turn pink . is that what youre doing now ? she propped herself on one elbow and frowned down at me , her hair brushing the cushion beneath us . or were you serious about me andmyself ? i laughed and ignored her question . that said , your cheeks arent the pinkest part of you . her flush deepened , and i rose to kiss her heated forehead . well , they might be now . how could any of those other assholes have been content to screw her without truly fucking her ? without feeling her clench , and writhe , and hearing her cry out ? what was the point , if she didnt like what they were doing ? if she couldnt even remember it ? they were idiots , every one , but they didnt matter anymore , and i was kind of glad she couldnt remember them . and even more glad that she would damn well remember me . finally , when her flush had faded and her skin had started to cool , allie sat up and reached for her clothes . that might interfere with some classes dont go now . dont go tonight . she laid one hand on my chest , while mine snaked over her bare waist and pulled her closer . you really want me to stay ? you think if i go home , ill drink . yes , but thats not why i want you to stay . i wasnt sure if she believed me , but she didnt argue . her hips shifted against me , and i couldnt hold back a groan . i was so hard it almost hurt . she pulled away and reached for the bulge between us , smiling . well , at least let me no , i said , and she looked up in surprise . thats not why i want you to stay either . i told you , tonights about you . but the rest of the truth was that i hadnt been with a woman in a long time , and id never wanted anyone like i wanted allie . i wouldnt last ninety-seconds if she tried to touch me . but i wasnt done touching her . so i stood and lifted her , and her arms slid around my neck while i wrapped her naked legs around my waist . then i took her to my bedroom . chapter six allie i woke up in noahs bed , with his arm wrapped around me , wearing nothing but a sheet . my head didnt hurt . my mouth wasnt dry . i didnt feel like puking . id woken up in strange beds before , but never with the guy still next to me . never without a hangover . never with noah . hed asked me to stay . warmth spread through me on the heels of that thought . i wasnt sure what to do the morning after , since searching for clothes and stumbling out onto the sidewalk werent necessary . should i go back to sleep ? make coffee ? i turned to face him slowly , trying not to jostle the mattress , but his eyes were already open by the time i found them . noah smiled and brushed a strand of hair from my forehead . i drew the same conclusion . sunlights a dead giveaway . i hadnt seen eight a.m. in months . and suddenly i was miserably aware that i needed a toothbrush . you have class today ? i sat up , holding the sheet to my chest , and he sat with me . not until eleven . not till fall . got ta be at work in an hour , though . i didnt even know what he did for a living . though after last night , i knew exactly what he didand what he didnt dofor fun . golds fitness . no wonder he looked like he lived at the gym . he shrugged , and i watched muscles shift beneath his skin like a snake watching its charmer , fully aware that if i didnt look away soon , i might never be able to . but i have unlimited access to the equipment , and since im full time , theres medical . you go to school and work full time ? and have insurance ? and knew exactly how to make a girl scream , and when to hand her a pillow to scream into . what are you , a grown up ? i only take nine hours a semester , and i dont go summers .	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he savored the look of them as he continued to slowly undo the buttons on her top , noting that her breathing was increasing with anticipation . hell , his was too , and his normally loose sleep pants were growing tight around the groin . if his dick grew any harder , it 'd start poking her in the stomach . at last , the damn buttons were done . emily had n't said a word as he worked on undressing her , just stood there , silent and utterly still . `` you know , '' he said as he brushed the fabric off her shoulders . `` for someone that says they 're not scared , you 're sure quiet . '' `` just thinking , '' she said softly . well now , any time a woman was thinking while a man undressed her was n't a good thing . `` if you 're tattooed or pierced anywhere that might surprise me . '' so she was picturing him naked ? `` got some more tats but no surprising piercings . do n't want anything that punches a hole getting near my junk . '' she giggled , the sound surprisingly shy . `` that disappoint you ? that my dick does n't have as many ornaments as a christmas tree ? '' i was just , you know , wondering . '' `` if i get one , you 'll be the first person i show , deal ? '' emily laughed again . at least she no longer had that uncomfortable look on her face . her eyes were dancing with merriment , the liveliness back in her expression . he wanted to keep that look there . so he kissed her again , pulling her against him until her bare brsts brushed against his shirt . and goddamn , he could feel her hard , tight little niles through the fabric of his clothing , and it made him ache all the more . `` god , you 're pretty . '' she smiled up at him , her eyes closed , and pressed her brsts against his chest . hard in all the right places . '' her hand slid along his shoulder . `` i 'll show you all my hard places as soon as we get these pajama bottoms off of you , '' he murmured . emily grinned again and pulled one of his hands to the waist of her pants . `` let 's get to it , then , shall we ? '' both of his hands went to her flannel pajamas and he shoved them down her hips . she wore a pair of cute polka-dotted cotton panties underneath that clung to her curves just right . nothing ultra-sexy , but clean and sweet and pretty ... and still made him long to strip them off of her . emily could probably wear nothing but a towel and he 'd think she was a goddess . her hands dragged over his chest , clawing at his shirt , and even as he pushed at her panties and lowered them down her hips , she found his niles and flicked her fingertips over them through the material of his shirt . a jolt raced through his body at that . `` do you like to be touched here ? '' she asked , rubbing her fingers on those twin sensitive spots . `` i like it anywhere you touch me . '' she slid a hand down his front and cupped his aching cock . he groaned and dragged her against him , pulling her toward the bed . her clothes were around her knees . emily giggled as he picked her up and she twined her arms around his neck , kissing his jaw , his neck , anywhere she could reach . when he set her on the edge of the bed , she kicked her legs , sending the rest of her clothes skittering across the wooden floor . then she was na*d and soft and all his . `` are you going to get undressed ? '' she asked him , tilting her head a little . `` or am i the only one that gets to be naked ? '' `` if my pants get any tighter , i 'm going to start losing circulation . '' she giggled again and put her hands on his belt , tugging him toward her . let me help with that . '' her fingers expertly worked on the tie to his sleep pants . with quick hands , she pushed the soft fabric down his hps and his briefs followed behind . she wiggled her eyebrows at him and stood up , tugging his shirt over his head in such a way that her br**sts rubbed up and down his chest with her movements . he groaned at the feel of her skin against his . `` it 's only a tease if there 's no prize at the end . if there is , it 's not teasing , just anticipation . '' damn , she was a sexy little flirt . jericho let the rest of his clothing drop to the floor with hers and kicked it aside . then they were both naked , and her hungry gaze moved over him , her hands skating along the planes of his stomach , following his tattoos . `` i like , '' she breathed , her fingers dancing across the tribal covering his shoulder . `` this must have taken forever . 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["liveliness", 1329], ["back", 1334], ["expression", 1352], ["keep", 1372], ["keepest", 1372], ["kiss", 1403], ["kisses", 1403], ["kissest", 1403], ["kissed", 1403], ["pull", 1423], ["pulling", 1423], ["bare", 1454], ["shirt", 1488], ["goddamn", 1502], ["feel", 1518], ["hard", 1527], ["little", 1542], ["clothing", 1585], ["ache", 1608], ["ached", 1608], ["god", 1630], ["pretty", 1647], ["prettiest", 1647], ["smile", 1663], ["smiled", 1663], ["close", 1691], ["closed", 1691], ["press", 1705], ["pressed", 1705], ["chest", 1735], ["right", 1759], ["rightest", 1759], ["place", 1766], ["places", 1766], ["hand", 1780], ["slid", 1785], ["along", 1791], ["shoulder", 1804], ["shouldered", 1804], ["soon", 1851], ["pajama", 1874], ["pajamas", 1874], ["bottom", 1882], ["bottoming", 1882], ["bottoms", 1882], ["murmur", 1910], ["murmurest", 1910], ["murmured", 1910], ["grin", 1926], ["grinned", 1926], ["pull", 1943], ["pulled", 1943], ["hand", 1960], ["hands", 1960], ["waist", 1973], ["let", 1995], 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they were in the moment together , something he 'd anticipated but still found wonderfully unexpected . sable placed her hands over his and directed them to her brsts , pressing the hard , tight tips deep into his palms . `` sable ... '' he groaned , his eyes closing as he kneaded the brsts he 'd dreamed of for years , awed by how full they were despite how lean she was . bending over , he lowered his head and took her in his mouth . derek trapped a ripe nipple against the roof of his mouth and suckled her , his cheeks hollowing on every drawing pull . sable begin to quiver and then progressed to outright shaking until her legs gave way and he held her suspended in his arms , arched over his forearms , his mouth working her toward orgasm . `` do n't ... '' she gasped . `` do n't make me come like this . '' arching her hips , she ground her psy into the root of his shaft , her short nails digging into his biceps . `` give me your cock . '' tightening his grip on her torso , derek leapt , pinning her against the bulkhead , their feet dangling as he plunged into her creamy psy and sank his fangs deep into her throat . she screamed in surprised pleasure and pain , bucking against him in a way that made rational thought impossible . her tight cunt clung to his aching shaft , warm and welcoming . her legs encircled his hips , pulling him inside with the physical strength he so admired . she melted around him , his cck clenched in a slick fist and bathed in the juices of her arousal . and she tasted liked heaven . sable had never called him by his first name before and somehow the simple familiarity touched him in a way he had n't experienced in centuries . raw , carnal need burned through his veins as her blood gushed down his throat , settling heavy and insistent between his legs . he slid out of her , his cck drenched with her cream , and she whimpered , a soft sound of protest that urged him to fk her with slow , deep plunges . her moan reverberated through the metal confines of his ship . derek gripped her thigh , opening her so he could fk her p*sy with steady , rhythmic pumps of his cock . damn you , he thought , awash in pleasure he knew would be addicting . the feel of her cunt as he circled his hps and screwed deep into her was dizzying . he felt drunk on her , intoxicated by her taste and scent . her left cheek rested against the cool bulkhead , giving him access to her lovely throat and the elixir that flowed in the veins just beneath the surface . her eyes were closed , her mouth parted . `` derek , '' she said softly , her voice slurred . `` you feel so good ... '' he was glad they had two days , because it would take at least that long before he had his fill . he tore his mouth from her throat with a curse . his jaw clenched tight , derek abandoned his leisurely pace and fked her like the animal he was , pounding into her tight , hot psy with such force he shoved sable up the bulkhead and onto the ceiling . the sensations were too much , coming on too fast-her full br*sts pressed to his chest , her cunt milking his cck rhythmically , her breath gusting across his ear as she moaned his name in a primal chant of mindless pleasure . `` take me , '' he growled , offering his throat to her . his eyes slid shut as her fangs pierced his skin , flooding him with heat and burning desire . he was going to come , he could n't hold it back . his balls drew up tight , heavy with the semn he was about to empty inside her . he reached out with his calling , establishing a mental connection . normally he kept his thoughts to himself when his orgasm was upon him . he considered it a personal moment , not something he shared beyond his outward appearance of pleasure . sometimes he eavesdropped on his partner 's thoughts , just to make certain he was pleasuring her as much as possible , but his release was his own . but this joining was different . he was so profoundly satiated by the act of fking sable that he felt almost ... grateful . and he hated that he was so aroused , his balls rock-hard , his swollen cck aching , that he was n't going to sate her in return . in seven centuries , he 'd never finished before his partner . so he decided to share his pleasure with her , hoping she would find some satisfaction simply from giving so much of it to him . he also wanted to know her , to see into her thoughts and ascertain the pureness of her motives , because suddenly he did n't want to be just another f**k to her .	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like he 'd given up his dreams for this woman who had pretty much burned all her bridges when she 'd told him he had never satisfied her in bed the way chad did . he ought to put her out onto the street . because he still loved her . maybe not like he 'd loved her a year ago , but he loved her just the same . it was a feeling he would probably never lose . he kind of loved ricki , too . or at least the memory of her when they were both seventeen and chasing a dream . tricia sniffled . he felt himself weaken . why did stuff like this always happen ? a woman would cry , and it would twist up his insides . like he needed to do something about it when he was in the presence of a distressed female . he stared hard at the glittering tears in tricia 's eyes , but this time the only thing that crossed his mind was how jane had come out to the alley earlier that night and given him a place to rest his head . he could n't think of any other woman who had ever done that for him . it had felt so good resting his head against her shoulder . it had felt as if that little gal had enough strength to actually hold him up for a small space of time . neither tricia nor ricki could have managed that . they did n't have such strong shoulders , he reckoned . `` oh , clay , what am i going to do ? '' tricia dissolved into sobs . he crossed the carpet and sat down on the couch and took her into his arms . it felt good to have her there . not mindless and out of control like having jane pressed up against him . the kind of nice he was looking for . tricia blubbered against his shoulder . the feel of her , even rounded in pregnancy , kind of turned him on . not the way jane turned him on down in his sexual parts . but in a manly way that had more to do with being a good person than being a rutting bull . he could be happy with tricia in his life . he could go for having babies , too . he wanted a whole passel of kids . and tricia would make a good momma , too . there was only one bad thing about this scenario . tricia was crying over someone else . that pretty much made this a nice fantasy . even if he wanted a mature and stable woman to marry , he also wanted that woman to love him . it was n't enough for him to love tricia , and tricia just to need him in return . he did n't want to settle . he wanted the whole shebang : the mature , stable woman , the marriage , the kids , and love , too . in short , he wanted his soulmate . and he just was n't certain she had arrived yet . the next nine-thirty bus from atlanta came on monday . so maybe there was still hope . haley rhodes touched her new necklace to make sure the little camel was showing . granny said the little green charm looked pretty against the yellow of haley 's sunday dress . granny said it had been nice of jane to give her the jewelry . of course , granny did n't know that the necklace had belonged to jane 's peckerwood boyfriend or that haley had dug it out of the trash . haley knew better than to tell granny the entire truth of how she had sweet-talked jane into giving her the necklace . besides , she liked jane and did n't want to get her in trouble . jane was way more interesting than the last babysitter . like for instance , in addition to maybe being a floozy , jane did n't go to church , just like daddy . jane must be angry at god , too . haley sat on a folding chair in the fellowship hall , her feet tucked up under her as she sipped on a cup of apple cider . she was keeping an eye on things , which was hard because the sorrowful angel was being a poop-head . the angel was hovering across the room at the long table where miz randall sat , instead of hanging around near the doughnut table at the opposite corner where jeremiah jones and lizzy were standing . haley needed to have eyes in both sides of her head to keep track of both the angel and her older sister . she really kind of wanted to spy on lizzy and jeremiah , but haley needed to keep an eye on the angel , too . and then there was uncle clay , who had come to church and played the organ just like always . right now , the sunday school teacher , miz bray , was giving him dirty looks from her place by the coffee station . granny said uncle clay was in big trouble on account of the fact that he had broke daddy 's nose . daddy had two black eyes . daddy said uncle clay had apologized , but granny said that was n't enough . granny said uncle clay was acting like an idiot .	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["goest", 1865], ["baby", 1883], ["babies", 1883], ["whole", 1909], ["wholes", 1909], ["passel", 1916], ["kid", 1924], ["kids", 1924], ["momma", 1961], ["mommas", 1961], ["bad", 1992], ["scenario", 2018], ["cry", 2038], ["crying", 2038], ["else", 2056], ["fantasy", 2100], ["mature", 2129], ["stable", 2140], ["marry", 2155], ["married", 2155], ["also", 2165], ["love", 2191], ["need", 2264], ["needest", 2264], ["return", 2278], ["returnest", 2278], ["settle", 2306], ["shebang", 2336], ["marriage", 2379], ["short", 2418], ["soulmate", 2443], ["soulmates", 2443], ["certain", 2473], ["arrive", 2489], ["arrived", 2489], ["yet", 2493], ["next", 2504], ["nine", 2509], ["thirty", 2516], ["bus", 2520], ["atlanta", 2533], ["come", 2538], ["came", 2538], ["monday", 2548], ["mondays", 2548], ["hope", 2580], ["haley", 2588], ["rhode", 2595], ["rhodes", 2595], ["touch", 2603], ["touching", 2603], ["touched", 2603], ["new", 2611], ["necklace", 2620], ["necklacing", 2620], ["sure", 2633], ["camel", 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lindy callaghan demanded of her brother as she walked into the small kitchen of the two-bedroom apartment she shared with her husband and steve . steve kyle ignored her until she pulled out the chair and plopped down across the table from him . `` no , '' he admitted flatly . he could see no reason to hurry . he already knew what carol was going to tell him . he 'd known it from the minute they 'd walked out of the king county courthouse , the divorce papers clenched in her hot little hands . she was remarrying . well , more power to her , but he was n't going to sit back and blithely let her rub his nose in the fact . `` steve , '' lindy insisted , her face tight with impatience . `` it could be something important . '' `` you told me it was n't . '' `` sure , that 's what carol said , but ... oh , i do n't know , i have the feeling that it really must be . it is n't going to do any harm to call her back . '' methodically steve turned the page of the evening newspaper and carefully creased the edge before folding it in half and setting it aside . lindy and rush , her husband , could n't be expected to understand his reluctance to phone his ex-wife . he had n't told either of them the details that had led to his and carol 's divorce . he preferred to keep all thoughts of the disastrous relationship out of his mind . there were plenty of things he could have forgiven , but not what carol had done - not infidelity . as a lieutenant commander aboard the submarine uss atlantis , steve was at sea for as long as six months out of a year . from the first carol had n't seemed to mind sending him off on a three-to-four month cruise . she even used to joke about it , telling him all the projects she planned to complete when he was at sea , and how pleased she was that he would be out of her hair for a while . when he 'd returned she 'd always seemed happy that he was home , but not exuberant . if anything had gone wrong in his absence - a broken water pipe , car repairs , anything - she 'd seen to it herself with barely more than a casual mention . steve had been so much in love with her that the little things had n't added up until later - much later . he 'd deceived himself by overlooking the obvious . the physical craving they had for each other had diluted his doubts . making love with carol had been so hot it was like a nuclear meltdown . toward the end she 'd been eager for him , but not quite as enthusiastic as in the past . he 'd been trusting , blind and incredibly stupid when it came to his ex-wife . then by accident he 'd learned why she 'd become so blase about his comings and goings . when he left their bed , his loveless , faithless wife had a built-in replacement - her employer , todd larson . it was just short of amazing that steve had n't figured it out earlier , and yet when he thought about it , he could almost calculate to the day when she 'd started her little affair . lindy 's voice cut into his musings , and he lifted his gaze to meet hers . her eyes were round and dark with concern . steve experienced a small twinge of guilt for the way he 'd reacted to his sister and rush 's marriage . when he 'd learned his best friend had married his only sister after a dating period of a mere two weeks , steve had been furious . he 'd made no bones about telling them both the way he felt about their hurry-up wedding . now he realized his own bitter experience had tainted his reasoning , and he 'd long since apologized . it was obvious they were crazy about each other , and steve had allowed his own misery to bleed into his reaction to their news . i 'll return carol 's call , '' he answered in an effort to appease his younger sibling . he understood all too well how much lindy wanted him to settle matters with carol . lindy was happy , truly happy , and it dismayed her that his life should be at such loose ends . `` soon , '' steve promised . the front door opened , and rush let himself into the apartment ; his arms were loaded with christmas packages . he paused just inside the kitchen and exchanged a sensual look with his wife . steve watched the heated gaze and it was like throwing burning acid on his half-healed wounds . he waited a moment for the pain to lessen . lindy asked , her silky smooth voice eager and filled with pleasure at the sight of her husband . `` good , '' rush answered and faked a yawn , `` but i 'm afraid it wore me out . '' steve playfully rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and stood , preparing to leave the apartment .	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["period", 3242], ["periods", 3242], ["mere", 3252], ["week", 3262], ["weeks", 3262], ["furious", 3287], ["bone", 3309], ["bonest", 3309], ["bones", 3309], ["feel", 3349], ["felt", 3349], ["wedding", 3378], ["realize", 3396], ["realized", 3396], ["bitter", 3411], ["bitterest", 3411], ["experience", 3422], ["experienced", 3422], ["taint", 3434], ["tainting", 3434], ["tainted", 3434], ["reasoning", 3448], ["since", 3471], ["apologize", 3482], ["apologized", 3482], ["crazy", 3515], ["allow", 3556], ["allowed", 3556], ["misery", 3571], ["bleed", 3580], ["reaction", 3598], ["news", 3612], ["newses", 3612], ["return", 3627], ["returnest", 3627], ["answer", 3658], ["answeres", 3658], ["answerest", 3658], ["answered", 3658], ["effort", 3671], ["appease", 3682], ["young", 3694], ["youngest", 3694], ["siblings", 3702], ["understand", 3718], ["understanded", 3718], ["understood", 3718], ["settle", 3767], ["matter", 3775], ["mattering", 3775], ["matters", 3775], ["truly", 3812], ["dismay", 3836], 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her thoughts tumbled backwards to yesterday 's arrival . when clint had stopped the wagon at the back of the house , rose marie was clinging to his side . he had looked stricken when she fell out of the wagon , and though he had glanced at jessica , he 'd stayed to help rose marie . and the way they had peered into each other 's eyes . it was all becoming clearer now . her mind warred withindoubts versus logic . he hugged me hard , and held my hand to his heart . a friendship gesture ? but , she had to admit , that did n't seem likely anymore . her emotions sank right back into the same grief she had struggled to push away . have n't i learned anything , lord ? suddenly she needed air . she jumped up , thanked the doctor , and fled the house . filling her lungs with the crisp mountain air she soon found herself at the place of solitude and peaceher rock by the stream . * * * with his upper back against the bunkhouse , johnnie raised his knee and braced a boot to the wall . he draped a forearm across his thigh and looked up to appreciate the starry night , his thoughts on jessica and how his regard for her had deepened . he was drawn to her like eyes to a sunrise . mostly , he guessed , out of admiration for the deep character she 'd so fully developed in her young life . and something else ; he was utterly fascinated by her steadfast devotion to god . then he thought of rose marie . how could two women be so different ? when he 'd walked rose marie to her cabin tonight she 'd been obstinate , and highly opinionated . that slip of a woman was a tumultuous , fiery puff of self-absorption . her exterior was admirable , but she flat rubbed him the wrong way . and she was grossly manipulative to boot . not that she 'd been successful with him . he could n't be manipulated . thoughts of his past clouded his mind until the sound of muffled footsteps against the dirt road brought him back to the here and now . he pushed off the wall and peered around the corner . in the glow of the moonlight he saw jessica heading for the stream . it had become a regular event , his being on hand to comfort her . he took off after her , watching to make sure she remained safe . he followed close , not to interrupt but to listen in case she needed him . at the water , he saw her settle on her favorite rock , then look to the heavens . once johnnie drew near , he heard a portion of a prayer she was offering up . and , jesus , my heart is broken . has clint come to tell me he wants rose marie ? '' her voice was small and sad . `` johnnie is so sweet and attentive . is it him you want for me ? if that 's the case , turn my heart toward him . only , please make it clear . and please , please heal clint . hope rose up in johnnie . `` jess , it 's going to be okay . '' startled , she pitched forward and started to slide . johnnie rushed to catch her by the elbows and lift her off the rock . he pulled her into a hugthis time not merely for her comfort . he reached up and pulled his hat off , dropping it on the rock she had vacated . he raised her chin with his thumb , resting his fingers lightly at her neck . her eyes went wide , and he wondered if she would resist . he urged her chin up more in a confident move he was n't quite feeling . he tried to read her eyes . they looked tentative , unsure , but they did n't say no . slowly he bent his head to take her lips with his . * * * jessica 's heart screamed for her to stop while her confused mind said go . she reminded herself that this might be what god wanted . so she let it happen . the kiss was special . but as wonderful as it was , an essential response from her was missingno racing heart , no drowning desire . no life-sustaining meshing of souls . the kiss had made something excruciatingly clear . she loved johnnie , but not in the same way she loved clint . he must have sensed her hesitation since he drew back . he put a palm tenderly to her cheek while he studied her face . to search for the hope that she returned his affection ? all she felt was pain . she knew the moment he read it on her face . `` so , that 's my answer , '' he said in a quiet voice . i 'm so sorry , johnnie . even as she said those words , she thought of the very same words clint had said to her . instantly she bore the crush of that revelation . so this was how clint felt . he loved jessica as a friend and did n't want to cause her more pain . was that why he 'd come back to the ranch ?	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a boy who will get in his car and drive to see me . a boy who is n't afraid of what everyone else is going to think when they see us together . a boy who thinks i can improve his mental health . one of the lunch ladies actually laughs when tiny gets all gleeful about the empanadas that they 're serving in celebration of latino heritage week ( or maybe it 's latino heritage month ) . she calls him sweetie when she hands it to him , which is pretty funny , since i 've spent the last three years trying to win her over enough to stop getting the smallest piece of pizza from the tray . when we get to the table , derek and simon are already there - gideon 's the only one missing . since i have n't warned them about our special guest star , they look surprised and petrified when we walk over . me : derek and simon , this is tiny . tiny , this is derek and simon . tiny : lovely to meet you ! simon : ermm ... derek : nice to meet you , too . tiny : i 'm will 's boyfriend . from evanston . okay , now they 're looking at him like he 's a magical beast from world of warcraft . derek 's amused , in a friendly way . simon is looking at tiny , then looking at me , then looking at tiny , in a way that can only mean that he 's wondering how someone so big and someone so wiry can have sex . gideon : there you are ! gideon seems to be the only person in the school who does n't seem shocked by tiny 's appearance . without missing a beat , he leans his other hand out to shake . gideon : you must be tiny . tiny looks at the hand gideon has on my shoulder before shaking the hand that gideon 's offered . he does n't sound too happy when he says tiny : ... and you must be gideon . his handshake has to be a little firmer than usual , since gideon actually winces before it 's through . then he leaves to pull up an extra chair to the table , offering tiny the place where he usually sits . tiny : now , is n't this cozy ? the smell of his beef empanada makes me feel like i 'm locked in a small , warm room full of dog food . simon , i fear , is on the verge of saying something wrong , and derek looks like he 's going to blog about the whole thing . gideon starts asking tiny friendly questions , and tiny keeps giving one-word answers . gideon : how was the traffic getting here ? tiny : fine . gideon : is this a lot like your school ? tiny : meh . gideon : i hear you 're putting on a musical . tiny : yup . finally , gideon gets up to buy a cookie , allowing me to lean over to tiny and ask me : why are you treating him like someone who dumped you ? tiny : i 'm not ! me : you do n't even know him . tiny : i know his type . me : what type ? tiny : the wispy cute type . i think he knows he 's gone a little too far there , because he immediately adds tiny : but he seems really nice . he looks around the cafeteria . tiny : which one 's maura ? me : two tables to the left of the door . sitting by herself , poor slaughtered lamb . scribbling in her notebook . as if sensing our glance , she looks up in our direction , then puts her head down and scribbles more furiously . derek : how is the beef empanada ? in all my years here , you 're the first person i 've ever seen finish it . tiny : not bad , if you do n't mind salty . it 's like someone made a pop-tart out of beef jerky . simon : and how long have the two of you been , like , together ? tiny : i dunno ? four weeks , two days , and eighteen hours , i think . simon : so you 're the guy . tiny : what guy ? simon : the guy who almost lost us the mathletic competition . tiny : if that 's true , then i 'm very sorry . simon : well , you know what they say . derek : simon ? simon : g*y guys always put dicks before math . me : in the whole history of the world , no one has ever said that . derek : you 're just upset that the girl from naperville - simon : do n't go there ! derek : - would n't sit on your lap when you asked her to . simon : it was a crowded bus ! gideon comes back with cookies for all of us . gideon : it 's a special occasion . me : dicks before math . gideon : that makes no sense .	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in fact , he had every intention of hanging on to this potential cash source as long as he could . hell no , i dont want a divorce . i didnt abandon her at all ; i just had a little streak of bad luck and needed a few days to recover ; thats all . im here now to claim my husbandly rights . besides who do you think you are interfering in our private business like this ? youve got no rights.. i am senior judge harry comstock . this is my jurisdiction , as i already explained to you ; maybe you werent listening . well , listen up now : did you abandon this attractive young lady and two minor dependent children with no funds , no utilities , no housing , and no nothing ? did you do that or not , and i warn you , i consider perjury to a very serious contempt of court act . respond now . richard was beginning to sense he was in a net and didnt like it a bit , but neither did he see much of a way out . she might have taken it that way ; shes not very smart . mr. nessing , i find your comments unnecessary ; simply respond yes or no to the question . did you abandon this attractive and intelligent young woman with two nearly infant dependent children , or not ? harry was starting to lard it on , which did not go unnoticed by either roger or ryan . laura had picked up on the attractive in harrys initial question , and wondered just how far he would go when the intelligent was also added , and her two children were now nearly babes in arms , or at least the transcript would read that way . one look at harrys face and she realized he was well into the game phase of all this and enjoying it immensely . richard was starting to squirm a bit . if you say so , then yes , i guess it looked like i abandoned her . and two infant children ? come on judge , these arent infants , theyre five and six years old for gods sake , not babies . where do you get off anyway , making this stuff up ? richard was bristling at the chaffing he was getting from this judge ; it was not a wise thing to do . mr. nessing , did you abandon these people or not ? simply answer yes or no , now . okay , it looked like i abandoned them , but i came back yesterday so i didnt really abandon them after all . sorry , times up on abandonment . finding for laura nessing on her request for dissolution of marriage to richard nessing . ms nessing , do you wish to waive the one year probationary period . yes , your honor , i do . probationary period is waived , final decree of divorce is granted you are no longer married to this man . maybe harry comstock sensed more than she realized , or maybe roger had filled him in , but when he granted the decree he didnt look at laura , he looked at ryan williams , and a slight smile appeared . next issue before the court is custody of the two minor children of this marriage , jackson nessing and amanda nessing . ms nessing , since you filed for custody , are you prepared to share that custody with your former husband ? and are you prepared to grant visitation to your former husband ? do you seek any support for these minor dependent children , financial or otherwise , from this person ? having set the stage for the next step , judge harry now turned to richard nessing . mr. nessing , it is my understanding there is an offer on the table at this time from the plaintiff . for the sum of $ 10,000 , payable here and now in the form of a cashiers check , you agree to not contest these actions now or in the future . should you agree and subsequently violate the agreement you will be required to refund the payment along with interest at the going rate from this date forward , and will be found guilty of contempt of court . richard now realized that he had not only lost a wife , about which he cared not one way or another , but he was about to lose the only hold he had over her to extract future money . the prospect of being hemmed into the choice angered him . and before he thought things through , he started to rise out of his seat and his mouth came open . judge , this is pure bull s**t. you got no right to take my kids away , money or not . those are my kids and.. shut up , mr. nessing , and sit down before the sheriff here seats you . i find your choice of scatological references to be appalling , out of order , and contemptuous of this court to the tune of 30 days in the county jail , suspended pending your return to this county in the future . harry delivered the sermonette like a practiced preacher , and indeed it was one of his favorite pronouncements from the bench . richard suddenly found himself with the choice of possible future revenue , or the money he badly needed right now to save his own hide .	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and since when do you spend an entire evening talking to a woman ? normally , youd tell me something . did you take her to bed ? alex couldnt help the lazy smile that lifted the corners of his mouth . technically , it was the couch , he thought . i said drop it , d. alex picked up his cup and began to leave the room . i have to go to my parents for brunch at noon , so if you want to hit the gym , i have to dress . but drop it . alex rolled his eyes as he went up the stairs , though darian missed it . he had no intention of sharing last night with anyone , not even his best friend . sure , in the past hed thought nothing of giving darian some of the details , but this time , he intended to keep the relationship between himself and angel private . they were so intimatewith words , with their bodies , with their mindssharing it with anyone else was unthinkable . he felt like hed known her all his life despite just meeting her and not knowing much about her . he looked forward to finding out more , as slowly as necessary . he dressed , reluctant for more of darians third degree . alex ran a comb through his thick midnight mop and chose to forego the tedium of shaving . he rubbed his shadowed jaw and smiled . if he saw angel later , hed want to shave just before . when i see her , dickhead . its going to happen , avery , alex admonished himself , glancing in the mirror one final time before leaving his room . when alex was halfway down the flight of stairs , he looked up to see darian twirling a scrap of blush silk around the index finger on his right hand . in her rush out last night , angel must have forgotten her panties . a hot flush infused beneath the skin of his face and neck . alex knew his face would give him away . lookie , lookie , here ! darian teased . alexs heart pounded inside his chest in panic as he quickened his pace down the rest of the stairs , eager to snatch them away and wipe the smug grin off his friends face . these are very sexy , alex . the woman attached to them must have melted your cock off , he said . alexs voice was ice cold and hard . whoa , hold up , dude . darian held both hands in front of him in an effort to ward off alexs advance , the panties dangling from one hand . i found them on the floor . whats your probl alex grabbed the panties and scowled at him . i said give them to me , darian ! sucking in his breath , he moved quickly into his den and opened the lower left drawer where the red file was hidden . he ran his fingers over the fine material and lace , remembering how hed peeled them off angel , before leaving them in the drawer and returning to the living room . alex gathered the keys for his audi from the coffee table . are you seriously not going to tell me about those panties ? shit , theyre sexier than hell ! dude , its killing me ! i cant believe angel gave in on the first date . man , youre my hero . she didnt give in . alex grimaced when he said it , revealing more than he intended . darian burst out happily . i think i just came in my shorts . alex ran his hand across his jaw in exasperation . they were out of the apartment and taking the elevator down to the garage when he made the decision that he would drive separately from his friend . i had no intentions of sex last night . i respect her , and i didnt want her thinking that whitneys twisted description of me was correct . of course whitneys description was right . youve been an unemotional prick and you know it . well , i never gave a shit before . the mighty alex avery is being led around by his dick when he said itd never happen . if that isnt classic , i dont know what is . well at least it was a happy dick . fucking ecstatic ! ***** angel threw her dictation recorder down on her bed and flopped back on her pillows as her stomach rumbled . it was after seven and shed been poring over the case files for the past eight hours . once becca and jillian left after a late breakfast , shed turned off her phone and immersed herself in the task of analyzing the tests and listening to the interviews again and again . mark swanson was an evil bastard . he was well known and had a successful chain of dry cleaners that his grandfather had started fifty years earlier . he was connected with important people and his businesses were located all over the greater chicago area . everyone knew his smarmy face because it was plastered all over the advertising for swanson cleaners . angel shuddered just thinking of that face . he was guilty as hell and she knew it in her gut . she had a sixth sense about scum like him , but she didnt have a thing to pin on him .	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and , even if i knew exactly where liams chamber was , i wouldnt go there . i knew he was somewhere in the wing of the castle that housed some members of the guard , those with no families , but that was the extent of my knowledge on his location . the west wing , i thought . those of the guard who were married were given living arrangements in a part of the castle that wasnt actually connected the rest of the castle , but still inside the walls . those quarters were set off to the west side of the castle , a tiny little village all to itself . minutes ticked by and then the same urgent knock sounded at my door . this time , i jerked the door open fully . the same footman stood , silver plate outstretched as if he came equipped with some kind of letter-that-needed-to-be-sent radar . how did you -- ? my question was silenced by the knowing smile on his thin lips . tis my duty to know , princess . he answered my unspoken question , then bowed and spun , one continuous and graceful movement than sent him gliding down the hall . moments after id shut the door , a timid knock sounded . this was a knock i had become familiar with in a few days time . it was matties knock and i smiled as i opened the door . i said , extending a hand to each of them and pulling them into the room with me . they both bowed slightly and i noticed for the first time the thick linen bag that leyona had sprawled carefully over one arm . it is your dress , milady . leyona said when she noticed me staring at her burden , barely contained excitement lacing her words . i inhaled , suddenly excited , much more than id thought id be . i asked as though i wasnt allowed to look . before they could respond , another knock sounded at my door . this one was confident , almost urgent . i crossed the floor to the door once more , wondering when id become so popular . soleil standing on the other side of the thick wood was the last person i expected . she smiled warmly at me , then her eyes fell upon my ladies . a moment alone with the princess , dears ? it was phrased as a question , though i was pretty sure everyone in the room knew it was more of a command than a suggestion . mattie and leyona both bowed quickly , begging pardons and whispering apologies . they hadnt done anything wrong , its just that soleil had this presence about her that evoked a fear and/or respect kind of response from people . she watched the girls leave , only looking to me once the door was closed behind them . let us have a seat , princess . she gestured to my sitting area and i went and sat obediently . soleil followed , stretching herself comfortably across her seat . she reminded me of a cat , the way they seem to be under the impression that they own the world . i thought we should have a little conversation . i looked at her , feeling self-conscious . she interlocked her long fingers as she studied me . your magic is quite powerful , you will require a great deal of training to realize its full potential , but i daresay you may be the most powerful enchantress i have ever encountered . shaking my head , i looked down to draw circles around my mark . i dont think soive only done a few things . dont you think i wouldve done more if i was , you know , very good at it ? your magic manifests in times of great fear , without any conscious effort on your part . the mere fact that you have been able to channel it into something useful speaks volumes about your talent . most untrained enchantresses or warlocks end up making very large messes , their magic leaking out in useless bursts with no real purpose . she smiled at my obvious confusion before continuing . and you have not even bonded yet . i felt my eyes grow to the size of saucers . no , i imagine you have not . it goes by many names , bonded , linked , matched , tethered . tethered . now that rung a bell . tethered , and what does that entail exactly ? i asked , feeling like i kept falling deeper into the rabbit hole . bonding or becoming tethered , if you prefer is like finding the key to a door locked inside of yourself . it is a feeling of finding your place in the world , a feeling of being complete , of finding the piece of yourself that was missing . it happens with anyone who finds their soul mate , it just means a little more for you . it will unleash your true potential as an enchantress . she spoke the words with a reverence , a longing that was normally absent in her tone . i could feel the pain swirling through the air and my heart ached for her . have you , did you tether , um , bond ? i instantly regretted the words , feeling like i was prying . soleil didnt seem to mind , her eyes staring out the window as she smiled . i was , but that was a long time ago .	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`` the dark followers have been searching for them for centuries . they 're some of the strongest guardians . they usually take care of the stronger bloodlines because of the solidity of their magic . they 've done an excellent job keeping their location a secret . '' `` until i led them straight to them , '' i said through a strained whisper , my tears falling in a heavier abundance . he put his finger under my chin , tilting my head to meet his stare . i could see smoke coming from the direction of the village . we have to go help them ! '' aster kept driving toward brazil , never slowing . she looked into the rearview mirror , letting her eyes connect with mine . `` mom and dad got them out . '' a new sense of fear shot through me . `` what if some of those monsters attacked mom and dad ? they could be hurt and needing us . '' tallis smiled as aster responded . `` they 're perfectly fine . mom is an incredible seer . she can see every move before they make it . dad can drain someone without touch . he 's the only drainer known to have mastered that ability . all other drainers need touch . mom and dad are even stronger together . their soul mate linkage gives her the power to show him what she sees the instant she sees it . it 's almost as if he 's a seer , too . they 're pretty amazing to watch . '' her confidence in them gave me a little reprieve , but i still worried . i would never forgive myself if anything happened to them . before i knew it , we were in brazil . there was absolute pandemonium . rioting and brawling were going on all over the place . it had been so normal earlier . i asked , feeling dumbfounded by the chaos . tallis responded with one word in a solemn tone , and i had no idea what it meant . `` kao . '' he looked around , warily assessing the scene . finally , he noticed my quizzical look as he helped me out of the jeep . `` kao is the son of graven . he 's ayla 's counterpart . where she brings serenity , he brings chaos . he 's not gone either . i can feel his presence . '' he studied the crowd more furtively . `` we 'll have to walk from here . there 's no way we can drive in this mess . '' aster grabbed different things from the jeep and shut the door . we started shoving our way through the crowd . i bounced off some people , barely keeping my balance , but tallis kept me afloat amongst the craziness . he kept his hand on me at all times , never letting me get out of his grasp . he halted suddenly , and i slammed into him from behind . i looked up and watched as the color drained from his face . i followed his gaze and saw a lean young guy standing on top of a building . he was glaring right at us . he was incredibly tall , and his attire was all black , just as his eyes were . he dropped from the building to his feet without even bending his knees . people seemed to spread , making a path for him , as he headed toward us . aster stepped in front of me and tallis . it had to be kao . three or four more women and men followed him . it was an entourage of putrid smelling dramians . the stinging sensation of guilt flooded me yet again . i wanted to rewind time and start the day all over , make the decision to stay and face my problems instead of running away and putting everyone in the line of fire . `` stay behind me , '' tallis whispered , his eyes never leaving kao . suddenly we were joined by ash who somersaulted down from a building above . `` well , this is just peachy . '' her light tone was laced with dread . her eyes scoured the landscape as she seemed to be sizing the dramians up . then we were joined by gear , olivia , jaslene , alvin , everett , chris , jay , and ayla . everyone stood fearlessly , ready to face whatever these demons threw at them . kao stopped walking as a dust storm started sweeping through . i looked at gear . he caught my gaze and shook his head , letting me know it was n't him . iris and george came into view with desmond , allaysia , and edmond following close behind . iris was quick to challenge kao . `` if you think you 're ready for this , then let 's get started . '' her eyes sparked with power and a fearlessness that made me shiver . she was so strong in so many ways . they crossed over to join us , adding to our line of power , while i stood there , shielded and helpless . tallis pulled me tightly against his back . i should n't have been thinking about how good he smelled , but i could n't help myself .	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when she followed with the salads , she saw that he 'd taken a forkful to mrs. mullinex . `` cassie says the stuffing did n't turn out to her liking . mrs. mullinex gave it a dainty taste . `` perfection , '' she said . `` you 're being modest , cassie . '' mr. oliver stood . `` what 's a turkey dinner without stuffing ? '' `` i did n't want to ruin anyone 's diet , '' cassie said , searching for an excuse , any excuse , to get the stuffing off the table . mr. oliver raised his hand . `` i 'm on a low-carb diet myself . '' `` then you wo n't want any of the stuffing , '' cassie said thankfully . `` i thought i 'd make an exception , this being christmas and all . '' `` oh ... '' `` let 's all help , '' mrs. mullinex suggested cheerfully . `` we can bring out the rest of the serving dishes . we should n't leave all the work to cassie . '' cassie sent a pleading glance in simon 's direction . he , however , was looking elsewhere . chapter 14 simon says : a good matchmaker stays in the background , just like santa 's little helper , then swoops in at the opportune moment . c assie could n't swallow a single bite as she carefully studied her guests enjoying their turkey with all the trimmings . every time she saw a forkful of stuffing heading toward someone 's mouth she had to restrain herself from leaping to her feet and yanking it away . simon revealed no such concern . mrs. mullinex had him engaged in a lengthy conversation . judging by the attention he paid her , anyone would think she was the wittiest , prettiest woman on the face of the earth . every once in a while , the older woman released a girlish trill that sounded , to cassie 's somewhat jaundiced ear , like a songbird strangling on too much seed . `` mighty fine dinner , '' bob told cassie , eyeing her with far more appreciation than his meal . she quickly looked away and offered mr. oliver more beans . more salad . mr. oliver asked . `` you probably have plenty of leftovers . no need to let 'em go to waste . '' `` that 'd be a shame , '' bob threw in . `` i 'd be happy to come over and help you finish them a few times a week . '' cassie felt it was important to set him straight right away . `` since i work and there 's only me to cook for , i generally do n't go to this much trouble . '' generally-like never ! bob glanced at mr. oliver , whose plate was heaped high with large portions of mashed potatoes and gravy . `` i thought you said you were watching your weight ? '' `` low-carb 's the only way to go . '' he reached across the table for the butter , which he slathered on a roll . `` cassie , dear , '' mrs. mullinex said in the same high-pitched bird voice she 'd used since meeting simon . `` it 's been such a long time since i made gravy . does yours always have these lumps in it ? '' cassie stiffened her shoulders at the frightening thought that the ring might have slipped into the gravy . then she realized her neighbor was denigrating her gravy-making skills , although she was n't sure why . her gravy was flawless , and if there were any lumps , which there were n't , it was a fluke . `` no , i added them for your benefit , '' she answered in an equally saccharine voice . simon 's gaze narrowed . mrs. mullinex blinked as if gauging whether or not to be offended . `` i 'm joking , mrs. mullinex , '' cassie said , feeling slightly guilty . `` i apologize if there are lumps in the gravy . '' `` you can put lumps in my gravy anytime you want , '' bob told her . he winked at her , then jiggled his eyebrows . the man was old enough to be her father . `` i believe i 'll have some more of that stuffing , '' simon said . cassie sprang from her chair and grabbed hold of the bowl . `` i was going to take it back to the kitchen . '' `` gim me that when you 're finished , '' mr. oliver said , grinning broadly . `` ah ... '' cassie looked helplessly at simon , who gently pried the bowl from her hands . `` i 'm not sure there 's enough . '' `` there 's plenty for everyone , '' simon said and took a huge spoonful before passing it across the table to mr. oliver . `` let me hand it around . '' `` does n't anyone want to save room for pie ? 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`` it must 've given your ego a real thrill to have two women in love with you at the same time . '' he let the comment slide . `` i 'd settle for just one , '' he said quietly . the fire popped , then briefly flamed , spreading a warm glow arouhnd the room . scott watched as chrissie threw aside the blankets and leaped to her feet . he could n't imagine what he 'd said that she found so offensive . you think you can bring me back to lake abbey , stir up a few old memories and then weasel your way back into my life . well , i 'm here to tell you it is n't going to happen . '' `` chrissie- '' she covered both ears and started to hum christmas carols . `` i 'm not listening . nothing you say will make one bit of difference . '' if she did n't look and sound so silly , scott might have let the moment simply pass . climbing down the ladder , he marched over and sat on the sofa next to her . gripping her shoulders , scott looked her directly in the eyes . `` nothing i can say will make any difference ? '' `` then try this one on for size . i love you , chrissie harris . i 've loved you half my life . '' chapter six duke porter waited until he knew scott and chrissie had landed safely on lake abbey before he left the midnight sons office . as he walked through his front door , taking off his wet jacket , he inhaled deeply . the scent of sage and his favorite chicken dish filled the house . he could hear sounds of laughter from his youngest daughter , sarah lynn . `` are scott and chrissie okay ? '' tracy asked , carrying a chicken casserole to the dining-room table . `` yes and no , '' duke told her , helping himself to a black olive . sarah playfully slapped his hand . `` you 're supposed to wait for dinner . '' `` sorry , i forgot , '' he said , and winked at his middle daughter who stood a short distance away , a frown of disgust on her face . shortly after turning fourteen , leah had , without any warning , completely lost her sense of humor . almost overnight , his fun-loving outgoing daughter had turned into a morose and sullen teenager . from experience , he knew it was a stage . his oldest daughter , shannon , had forged a path through the troubled teen years , so he knew what to expect . or so he liked to believe . `` what do you mean scott did and did n't land safely ? '' `` he landed , '' duke explained , `` only it was n't in hard luck . '' leah asked , her brown eyes wide with concern . his fourteen-year-old had a major crush on scott o'halloran . `` i presume so . he thought he could beat the storm system coming our way , but he could n't . so he decided that , rather than risk it , he 'd touch down on lake abbey . '' `` chrissie 's with him . '' leah slouched in the kitchen chair and pouted . `` some women have all the luck . '' tracy returned to the dining room with a pitcher of water and placed it in the center of the table . when she looked up , her eyes connected with duke 's . `` how long will they hole up there ? '' `` overnight , i suspect , perhaps longer . tracy 's bold smile triggered a responding one from duke . leah asked , glancing first at her mother and then her father . `` nothing , '' tracy muttered . `` never mind , '' duke said . `` oh , puh-leeze , '' leah groaned , and rolled her eyes . she nudged her younger sister . `` cover your eyes . mom and dad are going mushy on us . '' tracy called their oldest daughter , a high-school junior , from her room . shannon appeared , looking so much like tracy that even now it took duke by surprise . when he 'd married tracy , he 'd envisioned a houseful of rough-and-rowdy sons ; instead , he had three beautiful daughters . not once , not for a single second , had he been disappointed . his life was full and he deeply loved his wife . in fact , marriage was the best thing that had ever happened to him . they all sat down together and joined hands for grace . before the completion of the `` amen , '' duke had reached for the serving spoon and leaned toward the casserole . his wife cast him a disapproving glance , which he ignored . `` did i hear someone mention scott and chrissie ? '' `` he 's stranded with chrissie up at lake abbey , '' leah complained . `` can you imagine getting stuck in a storm with a hunk like that ? why ca n't it happen to me ? 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