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Saibo-creator

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bookcorpus_compact_1024_test

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`` this is perfection , ' i said . `` is every day going to be like this ? ' dimitri rested his hand on my cheek and then moved down , tipping my chin up . `` not every day but most days . ' our lips met , and the warmth and light in the room paled compared to what burned inside me . `` i was wrong , ' i murmured when we finally broke the long , languid kiss . `` this is perfection . ' he smiled , something he was doing an awful lot of lately . things would probably change once we were back out in the world . even if we were together now , dimitri 's guardian side would always be there , ready and watchful . `` what 's the matter ? ' with a start , i realized i 'd begun to frown . unbidden , adrian 's words had come back to me , that the next time i was in bed with dimitri , i should think about others who were n't so lucky . `` do you think i ruin lives ? ' the smile changed to shock . `` where would you get that idea ? ' `` there are just a lot of people whose lives are still kind of a mess . my friends , i mean . ' `` true , ' he said . you want to fix everyone 's problems . ' dimitri kissed me again . `` roza , ' he said , `` it 's normal to want to help the people you love . but you ca n't fix everything . ' `` it 's what i do , ' i countered , feeling a little petulant . `` i protect people . ' `` i know , and that 's one of the reasons i love you . but for now , you only have to worry about protecting one person : lissa . ' i stretched out against him , noticing my injuries really were constantly improving . my body would be able to do all sorts of things soon . `` i suppose that means we ca n't stay in bed all day ? ' `` afraid not , ' he said , lightly running his fingertips along the curve of my hip . he never seemed to get tired of studying my body . `` they come first . ' i brought my mouth back toward his . `` but not for a little while . ' `` no , ' he agreed . his hand slid up to the back of my neck , tangling in my hair as he drew me closer . `` not for a little while . ' i had never attended a royal coronation before , and honestly , i hoped i never would again . i only wanted there to be this one queen ruling in my lifetime . eerily , the coronation was kind of a reverse of tatiana 's funeral . custom dictated the monarch-to-be spend the first part of the coronation day at the church , presumably to pray for guidance , strength , and all that spiritual stuff . i was n't sure what custom did in the case of atheist monarchs . probably they faked it . with lissa , who was fairly devout , i knew that was n't a problem and that she was probably legitimately praying she 'd do a good job as queen . after the vigil , lissa and a huge procession walked back across court to the palace building , where the crowning took place . representatives from all the royal families joined her , along with musicians who were playing much more cheerful tunes than they had for tatiana 's procession . lissa 's guardians -- she had a fleet now -- walked with her . i was among them , wearing my finest black and white , including the red collar marking me as a royal guardian . here , at least , was a notable difference from the funeral . tatiana had been dead ; her guardians were for show . lissa was very much alive , and even if she 'd won the council 's vote , she still had enemies . my colleagues and i were on high alert . not that you 'd think we needed to be , not with the way the onlookers cheered . all those who had camped out during the trials and election had stayed for this fanfare , and more had shown up still . i was n't sure when there 'd ever been this many moroi in one place . after the long and winding walk , lissa made it to the palace building and then waited in a small antechamber adjacent to what served as the moroi throne room . the throne room was almost never used for modern business , but every once in a while -- like a new queen being sworn in -- the moroi liked to pull out ancient traditions . the room was small and could n't hold all the witnesses from outside . it could n't even hold the entire procession . but , the council and highest-ranking royal members were there , along with some select invitees of lissa 's . i stood off to the side , watching the glamour unfold . lissa had n't made her grand entrance yet , so there was a low hum of conversation .

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470], ["change", 477], ["back", 495], ["world", 512], ["even", 519], ["evens", 519], ["together", 539], ["guardian", 565], ["guardians", 565], ["side", 570], ["sidest", 570], ["always", 583], ["ready", 600], ["watchful", 613], ["matter", 637], ["mattering", 637], ["start", 654], ["realize", 667], ["realized", 667], ["begin", 678], ["begun", 678], ["frown", 687], ["frowns", 687], ["unbidden", 698], ["adrian", 707], ["adrians", 707], ["word", 716], ["words", 716], ["come", 725], ["next", 752], ["time", 757], ["bed", 770], ["think", 800], ["thinkest", 800], ["lucky", 835], ["ruin", 860], ["ruinest", 860], ["live", 866], ["life", 866], ["lifes", 866], ["lives", 866], ["smile", 880], ["change", 888], ["changed", 888], ["shock", 897], ["get", 922], ["idea", 932], ["people", 970], ["whose", 976], ["still", 992], ["kind", 997], ["mess", 1007], ["messed", 1007], ["messing", 1007], ["friend", 1020], ["friends", 1020], ["mean", 1029], ["meanest", 1029], ["true", 1041], ["fix", 1071], ["fixes", 1071], ["everyone", 1080], ["problem", 1092], ["problems", 1092], ["kiss", 1111], ["kisses", 1111], ["kissest", 1111], ["kissed", 1111], ["normal", 1160], ["help", 1176], ["helpest", 1176], ["love", 1196], ["ca", 1209], ["cas", 1209], ["everything", 1228], ["counter", 1267], ["countered", 1267], ["feel", 1277], ["feeling", 1277], ["little", 1286], ["petulant", 1295], ["protect", 1310], ["protectest", 1310], ["know", 1331], ["knowest", 1331], ["reason", 1364], ["reasonest", 1364], ["reasons", 1364], ["worry", 1414], ["worried", 1414], ["protect", 1431], ["protectest", 1431], ["protecting", 1431], ["person", 1442], ["stretch", 1466], ["stretched", 1466], ["notice", 1493], ["noticing", 1493], ["injury", 1505], ["injuries", 1505], ["really", 1512], ["constantly", 1528], ["improve", 1538], ["improving", 1538], ["body", 1548], ["bodied", 1548], ["able", 1562], ["abled", 1562], ["sort", 1578], ["sorts", 1578], ["soon", 1593], ["suppose", 1608], ["mean", 1619], ["meanest", 1619], ["means", 1619], ["stay", 1634], ["afraid", 1663], ["lightly", 1689], ["run", 1697], ["running", 1697], ["fingertip", 1712], ["fingertips", 1712], ["along", 1718], ["curve", 1728], ["curved", 1728], ["hip", 1738], ["hips", 1738], ["never", 1749], ["seem", 1756], ["seeming", 1756], ["seemed", 1756], ["tired", 1769], ["study", 1781], ["studying", 1781], ["first", 1810], ["firstest", 1810], ["bring", 1824], ["brought", 1824], ["mouth", 1833], ["mouthed", 1833], ["toward", 1845], ["agree", 1905], ["agreed", 1905], ["slid", 1921], ["neck", 1947], ["necked", 1947], ["tangle", 1958], ["tangling", 1958], ["hair", 1969], ["draw", 1980], ["draws", 1980], ["drawn", 1980], ["drew", 1980], ["close", 1990], ["closer", 1990], ["attend", 2043], ["attended", 2043], ["royal", 2051], ["coronation", 2062], ["honestly", 2084], ["hope", 2094], ["hoped", 2094], ["queen", 2157], ["queens", 2157], ["queenest", 2157], ["queening", 2157], ["rule", 2164], ["ruling", 2164], ["lifetime", 2179], ["eerily", 2188], ["reverse", 2227], ["reversed", 2227], ["tatiana", 2238], ["funeral", 2249], ["custom", 2258], ["customs", 2258], ["dictate", 2267], ["dictated", 2267], ["monarch", 2279], ["monarchs", 2279], ["spend", 2291], ["spends", 2291], ["spendest", 2291], ["part", 2306], ["parting", 2306], ["church", 2342], ["churching", 2342], ["presumably", 2355], ["pray", 2363], ["prays", 2363], ["guidance", 2376], ["strength", 2387], ["spiritual", 2412], ["stuff", 2418], ["sure", 2435], ["atheist", 2474], ["fake", 2505], ["faked", 2505], ["fairly", 2538], ["devout", 2545], ["know", 2554], ["knowest", 2554], ["knew", 2554], ["problem", 2577], ["legitimately", 2616], ["pray", 2624], ["prays", 2624], ["praying", 2624], ["good", 2641], ["job", 2645], ["jobbing", 2645], ["vigil", 2672], ["huge", 2691], ["procession", 2702], ["walk", 2709], ["walked", 2709], ["across", 2721], ["court", 2727], ["courtest", 2727], ["courting", 2727], ["palace", 2741], ["build", 2750], ["building", 2750], ["take", 2776], ["took", 2776], ["place", 2782], ["representative", 2800], ["representatives", 2800], ["family", 2828], ["families", 2828], ["join", 2835], ["joinest", 2835], ["joined", 2835], ["musician", 2862], ["musicians", 2862], ["play", 2879], ["playest", 2879], ["playing", 2879], ["much", 2884], ["cheerful", 2898], ["tune", 2904], ["tuning", 2904], ["tunes", 2904], ["guardian", 2965], ["guardians", 2965], ["fleet", 2984], ["fleeting", 2984], ["among", 3021], ["wear", 3036], ["wearing", 3036], ["fine", 3046], ["finest", 3046], ["black", 3052], ["white", 3062], ["include", 3074], ["including", 3074], ["red", 3082], ["collar", 3089], ["collared", 3089], ["mark", 3097], ["marks", 3097], ["marking", 3097], ["least", 3138], ["leastest", 3138], ["notable", 3154], ["difference", 3165], ["dead", 3206], ["show", 3236], ["alive", 3264], ["win", 3289], ["council", 3301], ["vote", 3309], ["enemy", 3333], ["enemies", 3333], ["colleague", 3349], ["colleagues", 3349], ["high", 3368], ["alert", 3374], ["alerted", 3374], ["need", 3408], ["needest", 3408], ["needed", 3408], ["way", 3433], ["ways", 3433], ["onlooker", 3447], ["onlookers", 3447], ["cheer", 3455], ["cheered", 3455], ["camp", 3482], ["camped", 3482], ["trial", 3504], ["trials", 3504], ["election", 3517], ["stay", 3528], ["stayed", 3528], ["fanfare", 3545], ["show", 3566], ["shown", 3566], ["ever", 3611], ["everest", 3611], ["many", 3626], ["moroi", 3632], ["windings", 3674], ["walk", 3679], ["wait", 3734], ["waitest", 3734], ["waited", 3734], ["small", 3745], ["antechamber", 3757], ["adjacent", 3766], ["serve", 3781], ["served", 3781], ["throne", 3801], ["almost", 3835], ["use", 3846], ["used", 3846], ["modern", 3857], ["business", 3866], ["new", 3908], ["swear", 3926], ["sweared", 3926], ["sworn", 3926], ["like", 3948], ["liked", 3948], ["pull", 3956], ["ancient", 3968], ["tradition", 3979], ["traditions", 3979], ["hold", 4019], ["witness", 4037], ["witnesses", 4037], ["outside", 4050], ["entire", 4086], ["rank", 4137], ["ranking", 4137], ["member", 4151], ["members", 4151], ["select", 4187], ["invitee", 4196], ["invitees", 4196], ["stood", 4218], ["stand", 4218], ["standest", 4218], ["watch", 4245], ["watching", 4245], ["glamour", 4257], ["unfold", 4264], ["unfolded", 4264], ["unfoldest", 4264], ["grand", 4295], ["entrance", 4304], ["entrancing", 4304], ["yet", 4308], ["low", 4329], ["lowed", 4329], ["hum", 4333], ["hummed", 4333], ["conversation", 4349]]

they were gathered at the stern of the yacht , watching the fog roll into shore . they had searched the entire ship , then gone back through it again , opening every closet , cupboard , and access panel . `` he 's got to be here . '' `` perhaps , '' said the emperor , `` we should go ashore and set bummer on another trail . '' at the mention of his name bummer yapped and worked his head out of the emperor 's pocket . tommy scratched his ears . the emperor unbuttoned his pocket and bummer leaped out , bit tommy on the ankle , and shot through the hatch . `` follow him , '' the emperor said . `` he 's on the trail . '' he ran through the hatch , followed by the animals and tommy , limping slightly . five minutes later they were standing on the diamond-plate floor of the engine room . bummer was scratching at the floor and whining . `` this is stupid , '' barry said . `` we 've been through this area three times . '' tommy looked at the section of floor where bummer was scratching . there was a rectangular seam , ten feet long by three feet wide , sealed with a rubber gasket . `` we did n't look under the floor . '' `` it 's water under the floor , is n't it ? '' tommy got down on his knees and examined the seam . `` troy , give me one of those swords . '' troy lee handed him a fighting sword . tommy worked the tip under the rubber gasket and the blade sank into the seam . `` get that other sword into this crack and help me pry it up . '' troy worked his sword into the seam and they counted to three . the edge of the panel popped up . the other animals caught the edge and lifted . the floor panel came up , revealing a coffin-length stainless-steel vault two feet below the floor . bummer leaped into the opening in the floor and began running around the vault , leaping and barking . `` well done , little one , '' the emperor said . tommy looked at the animals , who were holding the floor panel up on its edge . `` gentlemen , i 'd like you to meet the owner of this vessel . '' drew let go of the floor panel and jumped into the opening with the vault . there was just enough room in the opening for him to move sideways around the vault . `` it 's on hydraulic lifts . and there 's a shitload of cables running in and out of it . '' `` open it , '' troy lee said , holding his sword at ready . drew pulled at the lid of the vault , then let go and knocked on the side . `` this thing is thick . really thick . '' he reached up and took troy 's sword , worked the blade under the lid , and pried . the sword snapped . `` christ , drew ! that sword cost a week 's pay . '' `` sorry , '' drew said . `` we 're not going to pry this baby open . not even with a crowbar . '' tommy said , `` lash , how 's our time ? '' `` forty minutes , give or take five . '' to drew , tommy said , `` what do you think ? how do we get it open ? a torch ? '' `` too thick . it 'd take hours to get through this . i say we blow it . '' `` common items you can find in your own kitchen . someone 's going to need to go back to the store and get me some stuff . '' cavuto watched troy lee 's toyota turning around , put down his binoculars , and quickly backed the cruiser into a driveway behind the shower buildings . he hit the redial on his cell phone and the gate guard answered on the first ring . `` saint francis yacht club , gate . '' `` this is inspector cavuto again . i need to know the registered owner of the sanguine two . '' `` i 'm not supposed to give out that information . '' `` look , i 'm going to shoot some guys in a minute . you want to help , or what ? '' `` it 's registered to a dutch shipping company . ben sapir limited . '' `` have you seen anyone coming to or from that boat ? there was a pause while the guard checked his records . `` no , nothing since it came into harbor . except that it fueled up last night . man , that baby 's got some fuel capacity . '' `` a little over three months . came in on september fifteenth . '' cavuto checked his notebook . the first body was found on the seventeenth of september . `` those guys you had me let in are causing trouble . they took a boat . '' `` they 're coming back through the gate . let them do what they want . cavuto disconnected and dialed the number of rivera 's cell phone . rivera answered on the first ring .

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436], ["ear", 445], ["ears", 445], ["unbutton", 470], ["unbuttoned", 470], ["leap", 499], ["leaps", 499], ["leaping", 499], ["leaped", 499], ["bit", 509], ["bits", 509], ["ankle", 528], ["shoot", 539], ["shooted", 539], ["shot", 539], ["hatch", 557], ["follow", 569], ["run", 631], ["ran", 631], ["follow", 660], ["followed", 660], ["animal", 675], ["animals", 675], ["limp", 695], ["limps", 695], ["limping", 695], ["slightly", 704], ["five", 711], ["fived", 711], ["minute", 719], ["minutes", 719], ["later", 725], ["stood", 744], ["stand", 744], ["standest", 744], ["standing", 744], ["diamond", 759], ["plate", 765], ["plating", 765], ["floor", 771], ["engine", 785], ["room", 790], ["roomed", 790], ["scratch", 814], ["scratched", 814], ["scratching", 814], ["stupid", 859], ["barry", 870], ["area", 910], ["three", 916], ["time", 922], ["times", 922], ["look", 940], ["looked", 940], ["section", 955], ["sectioning", 955], ["rectangular", 1018], ["seam", 1023], ["seams", 1023], ["seamest", 1023], ["ten", 1029], ["foot", 1034], ["feet", 1034], ["long", 1039], ["longs", 1039], ["wide", 1058], ["seal", 1067], ["sealed", 1067], ["rubber", 1081], ["gasket", 1088], ["look", 1109], ["water", 1145], ["knee", 1206], ["knees", 1206], ["examine", 1219], ["examined", 1219], ["troy", 1238], ["give", 1245], ["sword", 1268], ["swords", 1268], ["lee", 1282], ["lees", 1282], ["hand", 1289], ["handed", 1289], ["fighting", 1304], ["sword", 1310], ["tip", 1333], ["blade", 1371], ["sink", 1376], ["sank", 1376], ["get", 1399], ["crack", 1432], ["help", 1441], ["helpest", 1441], ["pry", 1448], ["pried", 1448], ["prying", 1448], ["count", 1512], ["countest", 1512], ["counted", 1512], ["edge", 1532], ["edges", 1532], ["pop", 1552], ["popped", 1552], ["catch", 1582], ["catches", 1582], ["catched", 1582], ["caught", 1582], ["lift", 1602], ["lifted", 1602], ["come", 1625], ["came", 1625], ["reveal", 1640], ["revealing", 1640], ["coffin", 1649], ["length", 1656], ["stainless", 1666], ["steel", 1672], ["vault", 1678], ["vaults", 1678], ["two", 1682], ["twos", 1682], ["begin", 1759], ["began", 1759], ["run", 1767], ["running", 1767], ["around", 1774], ["well", 1816], ["wells", 1816], ["little", 1830], ["hold", 1905], ["holding", 1905], ["gentleman", 1951], ["gentlemen", 1951], ["like", 1963], ["meet", 1975], ["meeted", 1975], ["owner", 1985], ["vessel", 2000], ["draw", 2010], ["draws", 2010], ["drawn", 2010], ["drew", 2010], ["let", 2014], ["lets", 2014], ["jump", 2047], ["jumps", 2047], ["jumped", 2047], ["enough", 2103], ["move", 2139], ["sideways", 2148], ["hydraulic", 2189], ["hydraulics", 2189], ["lift", 2195], ["lifts", 2195], ["shitload", 2221], ["cable", 2231], ["cables", 2231], ["open", 2269], ["ready", 2320], ["pull", 2334], ["pulled", 2334], ["lid", 2345], ["knock", 2384], ["knocks", 2384], ["knockest", 2384], ["knocked", 2384], ["side", 2396], ["sidest", 2396], ["thing", 2412], ["thick", 2421], ["thickest", 2421], ["really", 2430], ["reach", 2452], ["reached", 2452], ["take", 2464], ["took", 2464], ["pry", 2523], ["pried", 2523], ["prying", 2523], ["snap", 2543], ["snapping", 2543], ["snapped", 2543], ["christ", 2555], ["cost", 2580], ["week", 2587], ["pay", 2594], ["pays", 2594], ["payest", 2594], ["sorry", 2608], ["go", 2645], ["goest", 2645], ["going", 2645], ["baby", 2662], ["even", 2678], ["evens", 2678], ["crowbar", 2693], ["lash", 2719], ["time", 2737], ["forty", 2751], ["take", 2774], ["think", 2828], ["thinkest", 2828], ["torch", 2862], ["hour", 2899], ["hours", 2899], ["say", 2927], ["sayest", 2927], ["blew", 2935], ["blow", 2935], ["blowest", 2935], ["common", 2953], ["commons", 2953], ["commonest", 2953], ["item", 2959], ["items", 2959], ["find", 2972], ["kitchen", 2992], ["kitchens", 2992], ["need", 3019], ["needest", 3019], ["store", 3043], ["stuff", 3065], ["cavuto", 3077], ["watch", 3085], ["watched", 3085], ["toyota", 3104], ["toyotas", 3104], ["turn", 3112], ["turning", 3112], ["put", 3125], ["binocular", 3145], 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i need you ... '' my throat feels so swollen i can only nod as i watch him reach into his jeans and pull out a platinum credit card . `` use it , '' he whispers . i suppose melanie would die if a man gave her a credit card , but i do n't want to go on a shopping spree or something . i do n't want ... anything but my life . i want our baby to be all right . i want my new life , on tour , with him . `` brooke , '' he warns , and i feel him tuck the card into my palm . `` i want to see charges . daily , '' he warns . he looks down at me with half a grin , his black hair standing up more than usual , his scruff even darker this morning because he did n't shave , and how can you love someone so much that it burns through you ? i love the way his sooty lashes frame his blue eyes , and the exact slant of his eyebrows . i love his hard forehead , cheekbones , and jaw , and how his mouth manages to look both plump and soft , but firm and strong . raising my arm , i drag the tips of my fingers along the square line of his jaw . `` when i came back , i promised myself i 'd never leave you . '' `` i promised myself i 'd never let you go . what else do you expect me to do ? '' his eyes are dark and tortured , and i know he did n't sleep . he paced all night , curling and uncurling his fingers as he asked me if i felt any pain . i felt little stabs in my heart , and said , no cramping . he returned to bed to gather me close , kissing me like he wanted to devour me . i remember every movement of his tongue on mine . the temperature of his breath on my face . and how many times he tore his lips away , kissed my forehead , and disappeared into the bathroom . because we 're not allowed to make love either . so our last night together , we spent kissing . and the several times he took a cold shower , i spent crying into my pillow . now he brushes loose strands of hair behind my forehead , his eyes holding mine . `` we 're going to be all right , little firecracker , '' he whispers to me . he runs his gaze down my body and spreads his hand open on my stomach . the proprietary gesture makes my heart burn with love . he rubs me softly through my cotton shirt , looking down at me with tender blue eyes . `` of course we do , '' i say , with a sudden surge of determination . `` it 's just two months , right ? '' `` and it 's not like we ca n't communicate in other ways . '' sitting up , i rest my forehead on his shoulder , and he slides his hand around my waist as i massage his muscle . `` let your body rest . ice yourself after your workouts . warm up properly . '' he buries his face in my neck and pulls me closer , and i hear us both scenting each other with the deepest breaths possible . his hand clenches on my hip bone , and suddenly he licks my neck , his voice guttural when he rumbles in my ear , `` i ca n't let anything happen to you , brooke . i had to bring you back . '' `` i know , remy , i know . '' i run my fingers through the back of his head because he sounds so tormented . `` we 're going to be all right , all three of us . '' `` that 's the point of all this . '' `` and like you say , we 've got this . `` damn right we do . '' `` you 'll be back before we even have time to feel sad or miss each other too much . '' i 'll be training and you 'll be resting . '' when we fall silent , we stay close and embracing for a long time , and i can almost hear the minutes ticking by , like little bitches intent on ruining my life . remington scents me again , as if he wants to get enough of my scent to last him two months , and almost frantically , i do the same , inhale his scent and close my eyes , feeling his shoulder muscle under my fingers , so strong and solid , as i start to massage him lightly again . `` i left some arnica oils in your suitcase . if you have any muscle soreness or any pain . '' `` are you still seeing blood ? '' he asks quietly , and when i nod , he brings me to his lap , where i cuddle closer and press my temple into his jaw . `` every time a cramp starts , i feel like it 's going to come out of me . '' he strokes his hand down my back and presses his lips to my forehead . `` i know it 'll kill you not to run . stay off your feet for me . '' `` not as much as it would kill me to lose our baby , '' i whisper . i 've run my whole life .

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he visited for two days and we talked . he 'd come to see how i was adjusting to life back in america . '' ruth had wondered about that , too . `` i had n't done very well . my parents owned a small bakery and i worked at the counter , but i had no life in me , no joy . now that i was free , i felt i had nothing to live for . my husband was dead , and i was the one who 'd killed him . i told this american soldier , whom i barely knew , all of this . i told him i preferred to die . i told him everything-not one thing did i hold back . he listened and did n't interrupt me with questions , and when i was finished he took my hand and kissed it . '' the tears came again , spilling down her cheeks . `` he said i was the bravest woman he 'd ever known . '' `` i think you are , too , '' ruth said , her voice shaky . `` when i 'd finished , sam told me he was part of d day , '' helen said . `` his company was one of the first to land on omaha beach . he spoke of the fighting there and the bravery of his men . he 'd seen death the same way i had . later , in the midst of the fighting , he 'd stumbled across the body of his own brother . he had no time to mourn him . he did n't understand why god had seen fit to spare him and not his brother . `` this lieutenant asked the very questions i 'd been asking myself . i did n't know why i should live when i 'd rather have died with jean-claude-or instead of him . '' she paused again , as if to regain her composure . `` after that , sam said he 'd needed to do a lot of thinking and praying , and it came to him that his brother , his men had sacrificed their lives so that others could live in freedom . god had spared him , and me , too , and it was n't up to either of us to question why . as for jean-claude and tim , sam 's brother , they had died in this terrible but necessary war . for either of us to throw away our lives now would be to dishonor them-my husband and sam 's brother . '' `` he was right , you know . '' `` sam left after that one visit . he wished me well and said he hoped i 'd keep in touch . i waited a week before i wrote the first letter . sam had n't given me many details of his war experiences , but deep down i knew they 'd been as horrific as my own . in that , we had a bond . '' `` so you and grandpa sam wrote letters to each other . '' `` for six months we wrote , and every day i found more questions for him to answer . his letters were messages of encouragement and hope for us both . oh , ruth , how i wish you 'd had the opportunity to know your grandfather . he was wise and kind and loving . he gave me a reason to live , a reason to go on . he taught me i could love again-and then he asked me to marry him . '' helen drew in a deep breath . `` sam wrote and asked me to be his wife , and i said no . '' ruth asked , hardly able to believe it . `` i could n't leave my parents a second time ... . oh , i had a dozen excuses , all of them valid . '' `` how did he convince you ? '' in those days , one did n't hop on a plane or even use the phone unless it was a dire emergency . for two weeks he was silent . no letters and no contact . when i did n't hear from him , i knew i never would again . '' this was the reason her grandmother had smiled when ruth told her she had n't heard from paul . `` i could n't bear it , '' helen admitted . `` this soldier had become vitally important to me . for the first time since jean-claude died , i could feel . i could laugh and cry . i knew sam was the one who 'd lifted this heavy burden of pain from my shoulders . not only that , he loved me . loved me , '' she repeated , `` and i 'd turned him down when he asked me to share his life . '' helen smiled at the memory . `` i sent a telegram that said three words . then i boarded a train and five days later , i arrived in washington state . when i stepped off the platform , my suitcase in hand , sam was there with his entire family . we were married two weeks later . i knew no one , so he introduced me to his best friends and the women they loved . winifred and clara became my dearest friends . they were the people who helped me adjust to normal life . they helped me find my new identity . ''

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when tony did n't jump at his command , enrique sighed heavily and muttered under his breath in spanish . `` have a seat , '' he continued in his native tongue . `` we need to talk , mi hijo . '' they did , and tony had to admit he was curious-concerned-about his father 's health . knowing might not have brought him home sooner , but now that he was here , he could n't ignore the gaunt angles and sallow pallor . `` how sick are you really ? '' tony continued in spanish , having spoken both languages equally once they 'd left san rinaldo . `` no sugar coating it . i deserve the truth . '' `` and you would have heard it earlier if you had returned when i first requested . '' his father had never requested anything in his life . the stubborn old cuss had been willing to die alone rather than actually admit how ill he was . of course antonio had been just as stubborn about ignoring the demands to show his face on the island . `` you and your brothers have stirred up trouble . '' a great big i told you so was packed into that statement . `` do you have insights as to how this leaked ? how did that reporter identify duarte ? '' his middle brother was n't exactly a social guy . `` nobody knows , but my people are still looking into it . i thought you would be the one to expose us , '' his father said wryly . `` you always were the impetuous one . yet you 've behaved decisively and wisely . you have protected those close to you . `` i am past needing your approval , but i thank you for your help . '' `` fair enough , and i 'm well aware that you would not have accepted that help if shannon crawford was not involved . i would be glad to see one of my sons settled and married before i die . '' his gut pitched much like a boat tossed by a wave . `` your illness is that bad ? '' an uneasy silence settled , his father 's rattling breaths growing louder and louder . `` should i call a nurse ? '' or his assistant ? he was n't sure what alys reyes de la cortez was doing here , but she was definitely different from the older staff of san rinaldo natives enrique normally hired . `` i may be old and sick , but i do n't need to be tucked into bed like a child . '' you 're here for my help . '' and he had the feeling his father was n't going to let him forget it . they 'd never gotten along well and apparently that had n't changed . `` if that 's all then , i will turn in . '' his father polished his eighteen-karat gold pocket watch with his thumb . `` my assistance comes at a price . '' shocked at the calculating tone , tony sank back into his chair . he should have suspected and prepared himself . `` i want you to stay for the month while you wait for the new safety measures to be implemented . '' he made it sound offhand but already he could feel the claustrophobia wrap around his throat and tighten . the dali art mocked him with just how slippery time could be , a life that ended in a flash or a moment that extended forever . `` is it so strange i want to see what kind of man you have matured into ? '' given enrique had expected tony to break their cover , he must not have had high expectations for his youngest son . `` if i do n't agree ? you 'll do what ? feed shannon and her son to the lions ? '' `` her son can stay . i would never sacrifice a child 's safety . the mother will have to go . '' tony studied his father for some sign enrique was bluffing ... but the old guy did n't have a `` tell . '' and his father had n't hesitated to trust his own wife 's safety to others . what would stop him from sending shannon off with a guard and a good-luck wish ? `` she would never leave without her child . '' tony restrained a wince . `` that is not my problem . are you truly that unwilling to spend a month here ? '' `` what if the restraining order comes through sooner ? '' `` i would ask you to stay as a thanks for my assistance . i have risked a lot for you in granting her access to the island . '' true enough , or so it would feel to enrique with his near agoraphobic need to stay isolated from the world . `` and there are no other conditions ? '' a salt and pepper eyebrow arched . if shannon decides to leave by the weekend , i could simply go , too . what 's the worst you can do ? cut me out of the will ? '' he had n't taken a penny of his father 's money . `` you always were the most amusing of my sons . i have missed that . '' his father 's smile faded and he tucked the watch into a pocket , chain jingling to a rest . `` your word is sufficient .

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before he could think about it he slammed the door , causing the pictures on the wall to shake . lucas leaned against the door and willed his body to return to normal . he had n't felt so much desire for a woman since his college days . even then he knew he 'd possessed more control . if she had n't broken their eye contact he may have ended up taking her right there on her desk , just a few short feet away from hundreds of employees who could 've walked in at any moment . it was most definitely time to go work out and expend some of his pent up energy . he went down in his private elevator , avoiding amy the rest of the day , choosing to communicate through email only . it seemed to be much safer that way for the both of them . chapter two time flew by quickly for amy as she learned her new job . lucas was away the most of the time and communication was done through email . joseph stopped by the office a few times to help her with things and they ended up chatting for hours . lucas fired the blond receptionist , which thrilled amy as the woman had shot daggers at her every time she came in and out of the office . amy had wanted to shout at her that she was n't interested in the boss and she could have at him but somehow she 'd managed to maintain her composure . the new receptionist was a great guy and with the boss gone , when she had spare time , she would sit there with him chatting about everything . she 'd only been working with him for a few weeks and he was quickly becoming her best friend . her buzzer sounded . `` amy darling , it 's lunch time . i need to get out of this place before i go insane . let 's head out for some far too greasy pizza and soda , '' came tom 's energetic voice through her speaker . give me five minutes to finish this email for mr. anderson and then i 'm all yours . '' amy came out of her office and tom threw his arm around her waist as they headed for the elevators . the door came open just as he was leaning down towards her in what would seem like an intimate moment to an observer , which was what lucas saw as he stepped through the open doors . `` what 's going on here amy ? '' `` have you forgotten this is a place of business ? i 'm gone a few weeks and you think you can parade your boyfriends in and out of here ? what if i 'd been a customer ? '' the barely suppressed ire in his voice surprised amy . tom smiled to himself , turning so his new boss could n't see . he could instantly tell the boss was jealous . well , this is certainly interesting he thought to himself . he decided to have a little bit of fun , `` hello mr. anderson , ms. harper and i were just stepping out on our lunch break . we already set the phones and will be back in one hour . '' with that he pulled her into the elevator and they were gone . before lucas had time to react the doors shut , leaving him stunned and more than a little angry . he almost followed them down so he could drag her back up to the offices . only years of tightly managed control had him staying where he was . what he really wanted to do was pitch tom out of a window and haul amy into his arms . he 'd avoided her as much as possible in hopes that he would get over his infatuation but the way she looked at him did n't help . he could see it was a mutual attraction and she was fighting her growing feelings for him as much as he was fighting his for her . he sat there stewing the entire hour they were gone , not getting any work done . he just paced from one end of his office to the other , waiting impatiently . `` you know you let him think we were sneaking off for some illicit affair during our lunch hour . i 'm going to catch hell for that , '' amy tried to say as sternly as possible as her and tom sat down . he had such a sour expression on his face at seeing you locked in the arms of my beautiful self , '' he chuckled . amy had been fighting her attraction to lucas from the moment she 'd met him . she knew he wanted her but she also knew it was a really bad idea to get involved with her boss . she was n't one of those women who slept her way to the top . she was n't even close to being one of those corporate barracuda women anyway . she was working hard so that one day she could provide a stable home for the family she 'd always wanted . she would never bring a child into the world without first making sure she could give that child the best possible home life . `` you were holding out on me you know . i had no idea the boss was hot for your body , '' tom continued . `` he is n't hot for my body , '' she said . `` he just likes to be in control of everything , including his employees .

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he just wanted to make things easier for her , especially since her sister and niece had moved in , but instead it felt like he was pushing her away . the only things shed let him do was stuff for abby and she still seemed grudging , like the only reason it was okay was because it meant something to summer or her niece . he watched her shoulders slump with fatigue and some invisible burden and his heart ached for her . stepping behind her , he let his hands rest on her shoulders . she looked up at him and for just a moment , heat and want and something that looked like longing flashed in her eyes , but she tamped it down so fast it made him doubt hed seen it at all . she nodded , sitting up straighter . he moved his hands with her , unwilling to break contact . her skin was warm through her blouse and he felt the cool slide of silk under his hands . without a thought except to ease some of the tension she carried , he pressed his thumbs into the soft skin at the base of her neck and started to rub . she stiffened under his hands and then melted into his touch . he moved back and forth across her shoulders , working out the knots with the soft pads of his fingertips . when he slid his hands under her hair , the warmth of her body and a fresh wave of the spicy floral scent she wore threatened to swamp him . inhaling slowly , willing his body to behave , he cupped her jaw with his fingers and pushed his thumbs into the hollow at the base of her skull . her head tipped back to rest in his hands and her red lips parted . he rubbed small firm circles at the place where her spine met her head , and she let out a noise of pleasure so similar to the ones she made when they made love , his cock sprang to life . my god , that feels good , she said on a breath . he kept up a steady pressure with his hands , ignoring the pressure in his body . you looked like you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders . not the whole world . a small smile played across her lips and he stopped fighting and bent to kiss her . he forced himself not to makes demands , just the soft brush of his mouth against hers . when she opened for him , welcoming him , he groaned in pleasure , teasing and tasting her tongue with his own . please , let me take you out tonight , he said when they pulled apart still breathless from the kiss . let me take you out for dinner and then stay the night with me . just one night , please . her eyes looked sad but she nodded with a small smile and his heart felt lighter than it had in days . jude brought max with him when he went to pick up autumn . he knew shed worry about her sister staying by herself and abby loved the big black dog . the little girl met them at the door and max sat so she could wrap her arms around his neck , a feat she accomplished without even bending down . hey abracadabra , hows it going ? fine , she said , keeping one arm slung around the dog . you look good , too . jude laughed but the sound caught in his throat when he saw autumn coming down the stairs . she wore a red dress in some kind of clingy fabric that hugged every curve of her lush body . her black heels made her legs look like they went on forever . dark long lashes rimmed impossibly blue eyes and shed painted her lips to match the color of her dress . soft curls framed her face in a sexy halo that made her look like shed crawled out of bed and slid into the dress . she watched him , a small crease forming between her brows , and he knew she was waiting for him to say something . he wanted to , but his mouth had gone dry and he wasnt sure he could speak . beautiful , he croaked and then coughed to clear his throat . said summer , coming in from the kitchen . hello there , dr. southerland . he told her over and over to call him jude , but she never did . hed finally given up . when she first came home from the hospital , shed been quiet and awkward around him . but living with autumn was good for her . shed put on weight and her cheeks had gotten some of their color back . she still looked like shed blow away in a stiff breeze , but she was definitely better . hey , summer , you guys going to be okay if i whisk your sister off for the night ? i could come back after dinner if you want , said autumn . dont be crazy , said summer and something meaningful passed between the sisters . autumn nodded and turned her attention to jude . she asked , plastering a too bright smile on her face . can max stay ? asked an eager abby . if its okay with your mom . i was kind of hoping you could watch him for me . abby looked at summer who nodded her approval . thank you so much , she said , squeezing the dog . jude saw something wistful and sad pass across autumns face . come on , gorgeous , he said , catching her in his arms .

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i was entitled to a little amusement . royce ran a hand down his face . he pushed out a deep breath and peeked at me over his fingers . `` are you sure that is n't your list ? '' `` but i fit none of the requirements for mr . `` not my list , '' i said again , still grinning . `` i ca n't believe this is happening , '' he muttered . `` are you absolutely one-hundred-percent positive it is n't yours ? '' `` yeah , '' i answered again . `` but you love lists . '' `` that 's why i was the designated writer . for the twins . '' just fucking wonderful . i stood a chance of winning the list 's owner . now , well- shit . '' in a flash , i froze , losing my burst of humor . i did n't want to contemplate such an event . my mind would n't let the thought die , however . i gulped back the sudden lump in my throat . `` since you 're so fascinated with that list , '' i said , judging my words carefully . i gazed down at my shoes , using one to scrape the toe of the other . `` you might be interested in knowing that kera , one of the twins , sent you an application . she 's smart and beautiful and she 's looking for love . '' rigid with an emotion i did n't want to name , i waited for his reply . his tone did n't reveal a hint of his inner thoughts . nor did his now blank expression . `` i 'll put hers at the top . '' sometimes , to properly stalk her prey and learn its habits , a tigress must stealthily approach , watch and gauge before exploding into a rush of amazing speed and attacking . with carefully timed maneuvers , she can deliver the killing blow without her prey ever knowing she was there . i glanced up from the rack of black , brown and navy-blue dress suits . all were ankle length , plain and would conceal every inch of skin , protecting it from a man 's naughty gaze . when i saw my cousin 's selection , i frowned . `` i am not wearing that ... that ... x-rated napkin . '' mel gave the green minidress she held a once-over , even brushed her fingers down the split bodice . `` the hem wo n't cover the edge of my panties and the bodice opens to my belly button . you might not know this , but i 'm not planning to make a few extra bucks on the side while i 'm gone . '' it was wednesday night and we were hitting the bargain department stores instead of the nightclubs-mel liked penny beer-all for the sake of my upcoming trip to colorado with royce . apparently , a new shipment of green clothes had arrived only the day before . when mel and kera learned of this , they had demanded we go shopping . being the meek , mild woman that i am , i relented . and my capitulation had nothing to do with wanting to look good for royce . did the old `` fingers crossed '' thing still work ? `` try it on , at least , '' mel persisted just as the bluejay in my purse erupted in a series of beeps . `` and for god 's sake , turn that thing off . '' scowling , i dug inside my purse and pounded the stupid thing front and back . it beeped every hour , reminding me of my upcoming trip . royce , the diabolical son of the devil , had programmed it in such a way that i could n't turn it off or turn down the volume . too , the screen continued to flash crap like , `` you 'll have fun on our trip , i promise . '' once the beeping stopped , i surveyed mel 's choice of ho-wear again . `` i 'd feel better covered in body paint . '' `` now there 's an idea , '' she said with a sly grin . i rolled my eyes , but could n't stop my own grin . `` even if i was willing to parade around like a living porno ad , i do n't want to wear anything green . i 'd just look like a lumpy bowl of pea soup . or worse , an overused snot rag . i do n't care how much royce likes the color . kera held up a conservative mint-green pantsuit . `` it 's fifty percent off . '' `` and it 's still green , '' i said , my voice heavy with exasperation . did they never listen to me ? `` sister dear , '' mel said , `` she 's flying to colorado -with royce powell , i might add-not a summit for sexually repressed librarians . '' `` think ski bunny , '' mel said . `` sexy , '' she continued . uninhibited . '' `` i 'm not trying to seduce him , '' i told them . `` oh , please , '' both said in unison .

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the yolandas yummery series the great brownie taste-off , book 1 magical cakes of love , book 2 the aroma of love , book 3 macarons of love , book 4 [ spring 2015 ] other works of fiction diary of a hollywood nobody hollywood after dark : 3 tales of terror i want you : seduction emails from a narcissist love me , need me : a narcissist 's tale the narcissist chronicles : the whole story north of sunset notes from nadir out of the blue satan 's casting call south of sunset sweet dreams the wilkes house haunting table of contents introduction chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8 chapter 9 chapter 10 chapter 11 the winning brownie recipe about the author introduction it all began with an author 's nightmare . i merged two genres , chick lit and horror , but my story was too dark and it was removed from all online bookstores . when i rethought my story , i did far more than rename it sweet dreams . i found myself drawn further into the world of bakeries , sweets , suspense , and romance . best of all , the far lighter tale had nicer characters and i had a blast writing and researching the story ! on the cover , you 'll see two stacks of brightly colored macarons . after they were photographed , guess who had to eat them ? i did n't plan to write a series of romantic tales . in fact , if it had n't been for jennifer donoghue , a book reviewer at the wonderful a life bound by books blog , i probably would n't have . upon reviewing my novella , she wrote , `` brenda nevins is the renowned best selling author of the 'yolandas yummery ' series . i would love to read more about yolandas yummery . after reading about it in sweet dreams i would love to read more and i wonder if the author has considered making it a series of its own . '' i was pleased with jennifer 's review and especially with her interest in the yummery books . when writing sweet dreams , i had a vague idea about what the story behind each of the yummery titles entailed . which brings me to the great brownie taste-off . it 's one thing to want to own a bakery , but quite another to actually open one up , especially considering all the time and costs that are involved . owning and operating a successful bakery , especially for someone so young , is a very daunting task . how did yolanda carter ever manage to get the yummery she has dreamed about for so long ? chapter 1 yolanda carter took a bite of the red velvet cupcake . the sweet swirl of cream cheese frosting dissolved first in her mouth , followed by the rich chocolaty goodness of the cupcake . yes , this batch was just fine , but a smattering of red or blue sugar pearl sprinkles would help the cupcakes stand out even more . sprinkles were always good to have when bringing in cupcakes for fun food friday . employees and volunteers loved the tradition of sharing different types of food every week . it had been going on at the crown street cat shelter for years , and yolanda was always happy to bring in her freshly baked cupcakes , layer cakes , or brownies . since it was february , but an appropriately gorgeous sunny day with temperatures promising to soar into the mid-80s , she thought that cool turquoise sprinkles would be a nice touch . she reached up into the wooden spice rack that sat on her counter and found the sprinkles , which she gently shook on top of each swirled cupcake top . she loved that the triple level rack contained only decorations and her most used and loved vanilla extracts , rather than the twenty-four herbs and spices that came with the housewarming present from her parents . yolanda baked far more than she cooked and while she still had the standard spices , they were kept in a cupboard next to the stove . for a second she admired the array of cupcakes sporting their perky blue buttons of sugar . a glance at the chalet-style cuckoo clock above the back door indicated that she was running late . she gulped down the rest of the cupcake and carefully placed the decorated cupcakes in the plastic carrier . should n't have this much sugar in the morning , she thought , knowing she 'd have to be careful with what she ate the rest of the day . picking up the carrier , she held it in front of her as she left the kitchen and hurried through the small living room and over to the front hall table . yolanda was of average height and had an extra ten pounds on her hips that would n't go away , even if she went for daylong canyon hikes or rode her bike countless miles along the beachside bike trails . she had warm hazel eyes and long straight chestnut brown hair pulled back into a ponytail . she wore old baggy jeans she 'd bought at the buffalo exchange resale shop , pairing it up with an oversized purple batik shirt made by her artsy mother . dressing casually and comfortably was her daily working attire . she thought about her upcoming day . missy wakefield , her boss , would be there , as would sid , the new college student along with a couple of volunteers . tomorrow would be another cat adoption day so there was more work than usual . she had to make sure there were plenty of adoption forms and copies of the kitten and cat tips booklet . yolanda was proud of the fact that she had helped her boss write and take cute photos of some cats and kittens to enhance the booklet .

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`` hello , i 'm maryellen . and i 'm so glad you 're going to be joining us , '' she said , smiling broadly . mary jo smiled back . she 'd never expected this kind of welcome , this genuine acceptance . tonight would be one of the most memorable christmas eves of her life . now , if only her back would stop aching ... . 13 `` officer , let me explain , '' linc said , doing his best to stay calm . his brothers stood on either side of him , arms raised high in the air . the deputy , whose badge identified him as deputy pierpont , appeared to have a nervous trigger finger . the second officer was in his car , talking into the radio . `` step away from the vehicle , '' pierpont instructed , keeping his weapon trained on them . the three brothers could 've been playing the children 's game , mother , may i as they each moved forward one giant step . `` what were you doing on private property ? '' pierpont bellowed as if he 'd caught them red-handed inside the bank vault at fort knox . `` we 're looking for our sister , '' mel blurted out . `` she ran away this morning . `` she 's about to have a baby , '' linc said , feeling some clarification was required . the deputy asked , his tone none too friendly . `` because , '' linc said , fast losing patience , `` this is where we thought she 'd be . '' the second officer approached them . his badge said he was deputy rogers . `` we had two separate phone calls from neighbors who claimed three men were breaking into this house . '' `` we were n't breaking in , '' mel insisted , turning to his brothers to confirm the truth . `` i looked in the window , '' linc confessed , shaking his head . pierpont snickered . `` so we got a peeping tom on our hands . '' `` there 's no one at home ! '' linc shouted . `` there was nothing to peep at except a crazed cat . '' `` i tried to open the back door , '' mel said in a low voice . `` well , because ... '' mel glanced at linc . as far as linc was concerned , mel was the one who 'd opened his big mouth ; he could talk his own way out of this . `` go on , '' rogers prodded . `` i 'd be interested to know why you tried to get into this house when your brother just told us you were searching for your sister and that you knew there was no one here . '' `` okay , okay , '' mel said hurriedly . `` i probably should n't have tried the door , but i suspected mary jo was inside and i wanted to see if that elderly couple was at home or just hiding from us . '' `` i 'd hide if the three of you came pounding on my door . '' again this was from deputy rogers . `` what did i tell you , jim ? '' pierpont said . mel 's comment seemed to verify everything the officers already believed . `` why do n't we all go down to the sheriff 's office so we can sort this out . '' `` not without my attorney , '' linc said in a firm voice . he was n't going to let some deputy fresh out of the academy railroad him . `` we did n't break any law . we came to the rhodes residence in good faith . all we want ... all we care about is locating our little sister , who 's pregnant and alone and in a strange town . '' just then another car pulled up to the curb , and a middle-aged man stepped out , dressed in street clothes . `` now you 're really in for it , '' pierpont announced . `` this is sheriff troy davis . '' as soon as sheriff davis approached , linc felt relieved . troy davis was obviously a seasoned officer and looked like a man he could reason with . the sheriff frowned at the young deputies . they both started talking at once . `` we got a call from dispatch , '' pierpont began . `` two calls , '' rogers amended . `` from neighbors , reporting suspicious behavior , '' pierpont continued . `` the middle one here admits he was trying to open the back door . '' mel leaned forward . `` just checking to see if it was locked . '' linc groaned and turned to his brother . `` why do n't you keep your trap shut before we end up spending christmas in jail . '' to his credit , mel did seem chagrined . `` sorry , linc . linc appealed directly to the sheriff . `` i understand we might have looked suspicious , peeking in windows , sheriff davis , but i assure you we were merely trying to figure out if the rhodes family was at home . '' `` are you family or friends of ben and charlotte 's ? ''

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i ran into mom at one of the draw poker machines . i asked , a little doubtfully . yes , mom said , as she deposited her last quarter . my family did no know how to gamble . we never knew when we were supposed to stop . actually i always came to vegas with the attitude that i knew that i was going to lose . i knew i was going to lose big . that was the main reason why i stuck to the nickel machines . imagine what id lose if i went to the dollar machine no thanks ! ! ! my mom got off of the stool and grabbed my hand . so tell me how youve been . and dont say fine . we trolled through the casino searching for gina . i see gina and derrick and now juan and adrian . then i look at you and dad . i cant see myself marrying anyone . i know ive only been in two relationships but i mom placed her other hand over my hand , which she was already holding . sandy , dont compare yourself to other people , especially with your father and me . your father and i married out of love and we divorced out of love . we passed the black jack table . you might not understand until you have kids and they move away i didnt move away mom , my voice was shaky and cracking , you two moved away from me . you didnt give me the chance to move out . i never realized i was angry . actually i felt as if i were dumped . both of my parents dumped me onto my sister and sped away . i knew i was supposed to be mature about it maybe even appreciative that my sister took me in but i was angry . i felt like i had no control over my life . i just kept going on from day to day going and moving with the flow of things but not ever getting the chance or opportunity to make or create my own waves . at the same time i felt a tremendous amount of guilt or feeling of failure because i couldnt live on my own at twenty three years of age . in a couple of years you would have , my mom mumbled sadly . we didnt look at each other really . we kept walking and she was still holding my right hand with both of her hands . we just wanted two different things and we didnt want to hold each other back . anyway , we get along even better now than when we were married . we are both independent minded people and we were both tired of needing permission from someone to do what we wanted to do . sandy , do you have any idea what it is like to have worked all your life and not be able to do what ever you want ? to have to keep answering to someone else ? call it ego , call it pride , call it selfishness call it being fed up i just felt like i earned the right to do what i wanted for a change . i love your father and i always will . there has never been any question about the love we have for each other . her eyes were glistening and she looked into my eyes hoping to see understanding . she wanted me to forgive her for leaving my father . i stopped walking and she stopped too . we were standing in front of the gift shop . do you think you two will ever get back together ? no , she said without a moments hesitation . we both like where we are living . we both like our arrangement . i asked , suddenly feeling a little queasy . she and gina had the same smile . he decided on january , march , july , september and november . i shook my head and narrowed my eyes . i had no idea what she was referring to . i didnt have to say anything because she knew i didnt understand . those are the months that he visits me and i visit him on the other months . we stay with each other for a few days and then go away from each other for a while . we never get lonely and we never get bored . so basically they were having an affair with each other . i didnt like the whole idea . i guessed my feelings were expressed on my face because my mother patted my hand and said , all that matters , sandy , is happiness . we are both getting older and have different things we want to do on our own without having to answer to someone else . we want to spread our wings a bit and fly . they just used each other for sex and then went on with their lives . he left his wife in georgia and then just used me to satisfy his sexual needs . kevin he was a hard one to figure out but in the end that was all it was about . sex wasnt it ? no no not with kevin . if he werent a racist i would still be in love with him . i could almost feel his touch , his hug , his kiss his love inside me . i felt my heart beginning to break all over gain . i felt this numbness all over my skin . i scratched my arm with my nails but couldnt really feel the scratch . every once in while , i had that feeling of numbness on my skin .

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considering both of those gifts are extremely varied , that covers most of it , she sounded like she was reading from a vampire text book on the subject rather than recalling a passed down history of her kind . and then theres the demon gift , she broke eye contact . it sombered the mood . a gift like that has real power . real power ? like picking up a car ? zack , i can pick up a car , she sighed . she crawled closer and pulled him over to her with one arm . she leaned into his shoulder , think bigger . a gift that can stop bullets ? he threw the idea out there . she shook her head , no , that would be an alteration gift . the ability to control the elements ? weather and fire , something like that maybe ? he tried a little harder . bigger , she buried her head into his arm . im talking about the power to control the minds of a thousand people at once , or the ability to lift entire land masses on command . you mean demon gifts can lift islands ? no , i said entire land masses , not islands . they have the potency to overturn continents if they choose to do so , she gravely informed him . that kind of power doesnt exist . even if it did , why wouldnt they have used it already ? he asked fervently . blood , they need oceans of it to use that level of gift . she was suddenly quiet . he knew what an ocean of blood looked like . it seemed too eerie that she would mention such a gruesome thing . the memory of his recent dreams came back to him . it was too similar . are you alright zack ? she felt the change in his skin . i was just thinking of what that would take . he became pale . hundreds of thousands of people would have to die to let them evolve that far , to let them accrue that much power . she turned him to face her . then she pushed him back on the couch and propped herself above him again . that sounds terrible , he responded as he tried to not stare at her seductive body . a twinge of pain rang through his head . a flash of the red ocean came from his memory . theres a catch too . the demon gifts ability isnt the worst part . they absorb their hosts in time . she eased her grasp of his shoulders . these are abilities were talking about right ? not actual demons ? he worried over the thought . her head was so close to his heart . her words were terrifying but his pulse raced as she came closer . demon gifts are abilities , zack , not people . they have grown with each incarnation , with each vampire they appear in , taking on new attributes as they evolve . the longer a vampire lives and drinks blood , the more powerful the gift becomes until it asserts dominance . it forces the vampires mind out and controls the body directly . in essence , it kills the vampire host . that is why they are called demon gifts . they embody terrifying power , but are considered curses by everyone , since they come with the ultimate cost . he didnt want to accept it but he had to . there were too many things that she had said that made sense to him . that she had shown him . eventually he gave in . she let him up . he thought about his situation , considering everything youve said , what does that make me ? youre a vampeal zack , just like me . she stared at his deep brown eyes . she knew he was far more than just another vampeal . just without the strength and agility , he added . eventually it will come . youve already begun to heal . it was hard for her to think as she continued to stare into his eyes . her mind wanted to be with him . there was something about him that drew her in . she still wore his glasses . she pointed to them and tapped on the edge of the frames . it was a clear reminder that his vision was now perfect . he had been revitalized to a better state of being . he had energy , boundless energy . he felt as if he could run a marathon without breathing . there was a sensation of strength that he had never known before . he decided to test it a little and have some fun while doing it . kyli , he said in a devilish manner . she was receptive to his forward advance . she looked into his eyes and became farther lost in them , thinking of how nice it would be to let things continue as they were , to let them simply have a few years together alone before the contract was up . she indulged in the fantasy for a moment . she was distracted for a second . in a quick motion he used all his might to lift her up and try to throw her over the couch to display his newfound power . she saw it coming but was still flung up into the air about a foot above him . she spun with a twist into another handstand on the couch as she came down . her knee knocked the nearly empty cup out of his other hand . it spilled on the hardwood floor . the other leg kicked him flat on his back . she never fell . she merely pivoted and gymnastically took advantage of the situation . to her , it was effortless as she spun around .

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he glowered at christa , who sat with professor pacciani , before taking the seat between julia and professor picton . gabriel did n't speak as he pulled his meisterstuck 149 fountain pen and a notepad out of his leather briefcase . his body language was decidedly cross . julia tried to concentrate on the lecture , which was on the use of the number three in dante 's divine comedy . the subject matter and delivery of the presentation could only be described as contravening the geneva conventions on cruel and unusual punishment . worse still was being next to gabriel and feeling his anger radiating through his handsome three-piece suit . out of the corner of her eye , she saw that he was taking copious notes , his elegant script uncharacteristically forceful and angular . there was tension around his mouth and a familiar crease between his dark brows , behind his glasses . julia was disappointed in him , but she was n't angry . she knew it was consonant with his character to be the avenging angel . there had been times when she welcomed that aspect of his personality , such as when he 'd beaten simon senseless after he 'd attacked her . but she did n't like fighting with him , especially in public . she certainly did n't enjoy the sight of him losing his temper and causing a scene in front of so many important people , even if katherine defended him . his love for her and his desire that she succeed likely fueled his anger . you 're his first serious and committed relationship . you should cut the guy some slack . she wanted to touch him but was wary of how she might be received . certainly , she did n't wish to interrupt him . she imagined him peering at her over the rims of his glasses , his expression censorious . such a reaction would cut her deeply . it had been a long time since she 'd seen him truly angry . julia thought back to their explosive interactions in his dante seminar , when she 'd challenged him about paulina . he 'd been furious until his anger shifted to passion . now was not the time to think about passion . she 'd wait until they were back in their room at magdalen before she reached out to him . otherwise , he might decide to make up with her and drag her into a corner for conference sex . ( conference sex was a peculiar compunction of certain academics . it should be avoided at all costs . ) the next lecture was as torturous as the first . julia feigned interest while her thoughts fixated on one point . if gabriel had listened to her , christa would have been forced to spin her web of slander without a large , focused audience . now julia would have to mingle with the other attendees knowing they 'd witnessed the embarrassing display . she was shy to begin with . christa had magnified her unease a hundredfold . despite their falling out , julia would have preferred to spend the day at his side , especially during lunch and the frequent tea and coffee breaks . but they 'd agreed the night before to circulate among the conferencegoers , giving julia the opportunity to network . she forced herself to make small talk , allowing professors marinelli and picton to introduce her to their old friends , while gabriel mingled on the other side of the room . he was obviously on a charm offensive-trying to speak to as many conferencegoers as possible . from the glances julia received , it was clear he was speaking about her . women flocked to him . no matter where he was , there were always one or two women standing near him . to his credit , he suffered their attentions patiently without encouraging them . julia focused on her own interactions , but she could n't help but keep apprised of where he was situated and with whom . she also marked christa 's position , but she was never far from professor pacciani . julia found the fact curious . pacciani 's eyes seemed to follow her and on one occasion , she was certain he winked . but he made no attempt to approach or speak with her . he seemed content to remain at christa 's side , despite her occasionally flirtatious behavior with other men . julia sipped her tea as she listened to professor after professor regale her with tales of their latest research projects , longing for the end of the day . during the final lecture , gabriel noticed julia squirming in her seat . she 'd been doing so for an hour , as if she were in desperate need of the ladies ' room . gabriel had been nursing his irritation with christa for hours , fanning the embers with myriad justifications for his words and actions . he was in the middle of composing a self-righteous speech that he intended to deliver to julia when they were back at magdalen , when she stunned him by passing a note . thank you for defending me . i 'm sorry she mentioned professor pain . gabriel reread the note twice .

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["embers", 4482], ["myriad", 4494], ["myriads", 4494], ["justification", 4509], ["justifications", 4509], ["word", 4523], ["words", 4523], ["action", 4535], ["actions", 4535], ["middle", 4558], ["middles", 4558], ["middling", 4558], ["compose", 4571], ["self", 4578], ["righteous", 4588], ["speech", 4595], ["intend", 4612], ["intendest", 4612], ["intended", 4612], ["deliver", 4623], ["stun", 4683], ["stuns", 4683], ["stunned", 4683], ["pass", 4698], ["passing", 4698], ["note", 4705], ["thank", 4713], ["thanks", 4713], ["thankest", 4713], ["defend", 4731], ["defending", 4731], ["sorry", 4747], ["mention", 4761], ["mentioned", 4761], ["pain", 4776], ["reread", 4793], ["rereads", 4793], ["rereading", 4793], ["twice", 4808]]

before him was a vast sea of endless blood that was turbulent . it broke upon the beach . the form of a person appeared far out near the edge of the breaking tide . it walked to the shore . the female was covered in thick blood . it masked any real detail to her body . the figure appeared to be made from the blood it was soaked in . the naked female apparition walked up to him . as he stared at her body , he could tell it resembled kyli . the shape of her face , the length of her arms and legs , even the curves of her hips . this thing was meant to entice him , to incite him to action . its feet stepped to the edge of the breaking tide . he came closer to see its face . its eyes were open yet glazed over from the flowing blood that constantly dripped down its skin . he could feel its stare . the blood specter spoke . the words were mumbled , garbled with drowned blood that poured out of its mouth . it was too difficult to make out . its right hand reached to him , a wet trail tracked its motion in the sand . it placed its hand on his neck . the blood coated his chest , he couldnt resist . at the same time , it was warm , soothing , inviting . finally , you open your heart , a dark voice echoed through to his core . he could feel sharp wet fingertips pierce his skin . remember the pain . it will make what is to come much easier , the voice spoke calmly to him . it was sure of itself in a way that he disturbingly had to admire . he managed to say as his throat was clasped tight . the dark presence paused . it breathed slowly into his right ear , i am a choice . chapter fifty five back to reality zack snapped awake . kyli had softly struck him across the cheek . there was a solid pain on the left side of his face . she had nearly fractured his jaw to rouse him . the sound drew the attention of the people around them . they were stunned that she hit him out of nowhere . she smiled back at everyone and then checked his face . there was thankfully no bruise . she put her arm around him and grinned . the people staring went back to listening . the 5th symphony was still playing from almost the same moment he had slipped into the daydream . zack , let go . youre crushing my hand , she whispered calmly . his fingers were piercing the back and sides of her hand . a few of the tips were buried halfway to his knuckles . they drew blood that spilled out on to the carpet . he stopped , tenderly pulling his fingers from her hand . he gently applied pressure , im sorry . it was clear to her . he had made contact with the demon . ill heal in a minute . she said nothing for a moment , then whispered into his ear , do you enjoy the show so far ? he thought about the dream . the vision of her blood soaked body biting into him . he faked a slow nod and stared at her . he reached his arm around her and pulled her tight . she wasnt sure how much he had picked up from her mind . im just sorry okay . just know that , he squeezed her tight against him . he quietly sat through the rest of the concert in peace . he didnt know what the daydreams were exactly . they seemed painful enough to be real . they were too disturbing to have actually happened . he wanted to explain why he had pierced her hand but he wasnt sure if she would believe him or not . he sat calmly as he mulled over the haunting images that played in his mind . demetrius del marin had no intermission to his concert . it was a straight two hour sequence of songs with little interlude between them . he played everything from variations on symphony number seven to selected bits from rachmaninov . she explained there was a heater under the table of goblets that kept the blood from coagulating long enough to play through the concert . eventually by the midpoint the blood began to die . when that happened , the pitch of each note was altered . it was a change that affected the entire second half of the performance . she told him that the first section of the show was all classical pieces to accommodate for this . the latter half was filled with original works by marin himself , all with their tones chosen with this altered sound in mind . when the last note rang off marins finger , everyone had been lulled silent . each person was nearly put into their own state of bliss . all zack wanted to do was stay awake . he hoped to ward off any more dreams . he was still gravely distraught by the vision he had . with the concert over , she pulled out a small vial from inside his blazer pocket . she unscrewed the top and poured a small amount on her hand . the rest she put in her mouth . she turned to him and kissed him . she forced the blood into his mouth . milky enough for you ? she poked fun to lighten the mood .

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1541], ["breathes", 1541], ["breathed", 1541], ["slowly", 1548], ["ear", 1567], ["choice", 1583], ["chapter", 1593], ["fifty", 1599], ["five", 1604], ["fived", 1604], ["back", 1609], ["reality", 1620], ["zack", 1625], ["zacks", 1625], ["snap", 1633], ["snapping", 1633], ["snapped", 1633], ["awoke", 1639], ["awake", 1639], ["softly", 1657], ["strike", 1664], ["struck", 1664], ["across", 1675], ["cheek", 1685], ["cheeks", 1685], ["solid", 1705], ["left", 1722], ["side", 1727], ["sidest", 1727], ["nearly", 1756], ["fracture", 1766], ["fractured", 1766], ["jaw", 1774], ["jaws", 1774], ["jawed", 1774], ["jawest", 1774], ["rouse", 1783], ["sound", 1799], ["draw", 1804], ["draws", 1804], ["drawn", 1804], ["drew", 1804], ["attention", 1818], ["people", 1832], ["around", 1839], ["stun", 1864], ["stuns", 1864], ["stunned", 1864], ["hit", 1877], ["nowhere", 1896], ["smile", 1909], ["smiled", 1909], ["everyone", 1926], ["check", 1943], ["checked", 1943], ["thankfully", 1975], ["bruise", 1985], 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`` i 'd have had a fight on my hands with him for you though . you were just his type . '' `` yep , exotic , smart ... `` jonny was gorgeous ... '' i grin . he chastises , slapping my behind through the covers . `` but not as gorgeous as you , of course ! '' i like that he 's talking about jonny with me , with such ease now , and no sadness . he presses his forehead against mine and closes his eyes . i bask in his contentment , feeling it like it 's my own , as i breathe him in . `` who was your first girlfriend ? '' i ask , tracing my finger over the tattoo on his chest . i know he never had one back in the uk . so she was definitely an american . i hate that i do n't know this stuff about him . `` i was never your girlfriend . '' he opens his eyes and stares into mine . i 'm surprised at the intensity of his gaze . `` but to answer your question , little miss interviewer , '' he grins , moving back . `` you 've never had a girlfriend ? '' `` i 'm not shitting you . i 'm being completely serious . '' `` sorry , i just find it a little hard to believe - jake wethers has never had a girlfriend - what about all the models and actresses ? '' `` and did you see any pictures of me with them for any longer than a week ? '' i rake through my memories , cringing at the images that flash through my mind of jake with other women . wanting to change the subject , i say , `` okay , seeing as though i 'm in interviewer mode , i want to ask - if you , jake wethers , had to pick one song as your title song to describe yourself , what would it be - and it ca n't be one of your own , '' i quickly add . `` hurt , '' he answers without hesitation . it makes me hurt inside he picked that song . he lets out a light sigh . `` some people said reznor was writing a lyrical suicide note , others said he was writing about finding a reason to live . i think it 's both ... it just depends on which side you 're looking at it from . '' `` and which side are you looking at it from ? '' he stares at me from a long moment . ... a reason to live . '' my insides start to tremble . `` reznor 's version or johnny cash 's ? '' i ask quietly , trying to conceal the pain from my voice . and in this moment i just want to magic up all the power in the world to soothe his pains away . `` because i have a few things in common with him , '' he answers , opening his eyes . `` the drugs ... the women ... hanging out for the girl of my dreams . '' i take a sharp breath in . tears instantly prick the backs of my eyes . he touches my face , his thumb smoothing over my lips . `` you 're my june , tru . '' `` except i ca n't sing , '' i say trying to make light of the moment . `` well , yeah there is that , but you can play a mean tune on the piano . '' i tilt my head to the side , forcing a smile i do n't really feel . `` oh , without a doubt , i ca n't get no satisfaction . '' i push the smile into grin trying to take us back to moments ago . `` do i detect a hint of sarcasm there , bennett ? '' `` mmm , '' i press my lips together . `` well , i 'll just have to see what i can do about that . '' then he 's flipping me over onto my back and kissing my neck . `` hmm , '' he murmurs , running his tongue over my skin . `` why have you never settled with anyone for longer than a week ? '' he lifts his head and stares down at me with such an intensity it makes my insides ache . `` because i was waiting for you . '' he tucks my hair behind my ear and kisses me gently on the lips . `` i just wondered if it was because of your past ... you know - your dad ? '' `` why you 're afraid to have a relationship . '' i feel him stiffen under my hands , and i know i 've said the wrong thing . `` i 'm not afraid of having a relationship . '' he sits up abruptly leaving me cold . `` i 'm trying to have a relationship with you , but you seem to be having a pretty fuckin ' hard time letting go of your current one . you asked before if i 've ever had a girlfriend - no . but you do n't ask if i want one . because i do - you . i want you in my life all the time .

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she might as well have worn a neon sign saying kiss me . the barest brush of his lips against hers , and yet it had been electric . noelle had leaned into him , her hands clenching on the lapels of his coat , and he 'd rested his forehead briefly against hers , the gesture tender and yet possessing a bittersweet sorrow she still did n't understand . she swayed against him and he steadied her , setting her apart from him . she should have known then . should have seen that no male as potently masculine and deeply attractive as ammar tannous would stop with a kiss . would date her and not sleep with her . marry her and turn away on his own wedding night . the simple truth-the only truth-was that he 'd never really desired her , never mind loved her , and he 'd regretted their relationship entirely . he simply had n't possessed the consideration to tell her so before it was too late . she rolled onto her side , tucking her knees up into her chest , hating that she was raking up all these painful memories now . she 'd stopped recalling them years ago , although it had taken a great deal of determined effort . one saturday about three years after her marriage had been annulled she 'd gone out with her parents for lunch at a swanky restaurant overlooking the seine and said firmly , 'i 'm over him now . but let 's not talk about him ever again . ' they 'd obliged , clearly relieved to know she was finally moving on , even though they 'd been angry and heartbroken on her behalf when the marriage had ended . in retribution , her father had severed all ties with tannous enterprises , and in rather childish pique noelle had been glad . no one had ever mentioned ammar tannous to her again ; none of her colleagues or friends even knew she 'd once been married to him . it had been so long ago , and neither her family nor ammar 's had ever wanted that kind of publicity . noelle certainly was n't about to offer the information . it was as if the marriage had never happened . she could almost convince herself it had n't , until now . until ammar had died in the helicopter crash that had killed his father , and then came back to life . resurrected not just himself but all the memories and feelings she 'd thought she 'd buried completely . she hated feeling anything for him now , even if it was only anger . yet in the pale morning light she also regretted the way she 'd acted last night , like a child in a tantrum . he 'd had a near-death experience , for goodness ' sake , and had been very ill. and she 'd loved him once , or thought she had . could n't she , in gracious and compassionate understanding , have listened to whatever he had to say ? that would have surely shown him she did n't care any more . maybe he 'd only wanted to apologise for what had happened all those years ago . an apology she was n't sure she 'd accept , but still . it might have been nice to hear it . sighing , noelle rose from the bed . if ammar approached her again , she decided , she 'd listen to him . maybe a conversation could give her some proper closure to their whole sorry relationship , for she had to admit that she had n't found it yet , despite many desperate attempts . she surely would n't be feeling so restless and edgy now if she had . half an hour later , dressed in a slim grey sheath dress and black patent leather heels , her hair twisted into a sleek chignon , noelle hurried out of her apartment on the top floor of an eighteenth-century mansion towards the metro . she was running late and she barely registered the narrow , near-empty street , the only person an older woman in an apron slowly sweeping the porch opposite . then she felt a hand clamp hard on her shoulder , something dark thrown over her head , smothering all sight and sound and , before she could even think to scream , she was bundled into a car and speeding away . chapter two noelle stirred slowly to life , like a swimmer coming up to the surface of the sea . consciousness glimmered , a twinkling , faraway thing . she reached for it , desperate now to seize it , and opened her eyes as if weights were attached to her lids . she lay in a bed and all around her was dark with shadows , and in the distance she heard the drone of an engine , could feel the thrum of it through her body . she was on a plane . panic shot through her as she struggled to make sense of what had happened , what little she could remember . she had been walking to work and someone had grabbed her . thrown a blanket or bag over her head and taken her in a car . she 'd kicked out at her assailant and her fingernails had connected with someone 's face , raking along a cheek .

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this year he appeared driven and serious , like a man on a mission . he emitted an i-can-handle-anything-you-throw-at-me vibe that she found quite sexy . what could have happened over the past twelve months to change him so drastically ? but a lifetime of being her sisters ' sounding board and problem-solver was a hard habit to break . her momma claimed it was because paige was `` a born fixer '' who could n't stand to see others out-of-sorts . paige knew better . she hated unanswered questions and the unexpected chaos that usually accompanied them , so she tended to probe where others would n't dare to go . trent 's gaze met hers across the linen-draped , crystal-topped tables . her heart blipped erratically . cold water splashed over the rim of her glass , wetting her fingers . she set down the goblet before her unsteady hands gave away her agitation . trent waved off the maitre d ' and made his way to the table alone . heads turned as he crossed the room . the women were no doubt as drawn as paige to his charismatic black-suited form . the men were probably envious . who would n't want a body that looked as though it had walked off the cover of a fitness magazine ? trent possessed powerful shoulders , lean h*ps and all the good bits in between capped by a drool-worthy gorgeous face . his attitude was n't the only thing that had changed . she 'd thought him handsome before , but they had n't had this potent attraction that hit her like a triple-shot of espresso each time he came near , making her skittish , breathless and her heartbeat irregular . if they had , then maybe things would have turned out differently and her walk on the wild side would n't have fizzled like a dud firework . she had to admit the combination of his attitude change and their sudden sizzle had snagged her curiosity . there was nothing she liked better than a puzzle , and trying to figure him out was going to be more interesting than the crosswords she did alone on her treadmill each night rather than face the scary vegas singles scene alone . excavating the cause of trent 's transformation should keep her entertained during this duty lunch . afterward , once he 'd satisfied himself by making whatever amends he believed he needed to make , she 'd go her own way and relegate him and the memory of that miserable night to the past . if she did n't , she 'd never find the courage to try again , and she really had to do that before her sisters decided to make good on their threat to visit vegas . trent lowered himself into the seat across from her . a faint whiff of his cologne drifted across the table to tease and tempt her . had he changed cologne ? funny , she 'd forgotten the scent and taste of a jaw she 'd kissed . as big of an impact as he 'd had on her year you 'd think she would n't forget any of the details . `` so how 's the airplane biz ? '' she asked even before he 'd unfolded his napkin . `` still profitable despite the economy . how has event managing been ? '' she mentally rolled her eyes at his deflection . apparently , he wanted to chitchat before getting to the point of the conversation . two of her sisters were that way . the other two blurted out information like avalanches . before you knew it you 'd been buried under too many facts and had to dig your way to the point . `` it turns out i 'm good at event management since i 'm used to juggling multiple crises simultaneously . '' his focus sharpened . `` a trait we share . '' `` probably because we both worked in our respective family businesses with our siblings . but unlike home , now i get a paycheck for handling catastrophes instead of a soggy shoulder , and i do n't have to loan anyone my favorite earrings to cheer them up . '' amusement flared in his eyes , jump-starting her pulse . `` remind me which part of the south you 're from . '' had he forgotten everything she 'd told him ? `` south carolina-a very small town on lake marion about halfway between charleston and columbia . '' `` are any of your siblings still there ? '' kelly , my oldest sister , left for a while , but she came back . '' single , two months pregnant and dumped by her lover . tongues had wagged , making starting over all that much more difficult for heartbroken kelly . failure in a small town provided entertainment for the gossips-something paige had learned firsthand when david had dumped her after seven years together . it had n't been one of her finer moments when she 'd taken the cowardly way out and run clear to vegas to avoid being fodder for the rumor mill .

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she did n't want someone else . he did n't respond , but that was okay . she could tell that regardless of whether he 'd allowed someone to take his blood , the idea did not repulse him . in fact , if the thick bulge of his erection was any proof , he liked the idea . hope shifted , sliding herself so she stroked him as she inched up his body . she kissed his jaw , his earlobe , just beneath . and then she kissed his neck , parting her lips and sucking his skin against her teeth . logan 's arms wrapped around her , holding her tight . a low rumble of warning vibrated in his chest , but she could n't tell if he was warning her to stop or warning her not to . the idea of pushing him far enough to find out the answer was too alluring to resist . hope nipped his hot skin . logan let out a sound of torment that gave her pause . his voice was rough as if he 'd spent a week screaming . i only want to make you feel the way you make me feel . '' `` i used to think so , but not anymore . the longer i 'm with you , the more my preconceived notions fly out the window . the idea of tasting your blood does n't even bother me . she scraped her teeth along his neck . `` you belong to another . '' if i choose to give myself to someone else , that 's my business . you do n't get to decide who that person is . or is n't . '' `` i ca n't want you , hope . '' she ground her crotch against his erection , eliciting a groan from both of them . `` clearly you can . and do . '' `` sex or me biting you ? '' `` you do n't want me to tell you the truth . it only makes you angry . '' `` what makes me angry is that you actually think the truth is i belong to someone else . you 'll give yourself to another man and be glad we resisted . '' `` now you can see the future ? '' `` no , history . i 've seen this course of events before . you 'll meet eric . you 'll fall in love with him . his rough edges will fade away and the two of you will be happy together . '' `` i 've seen it happen over and over . i can not take that happiness away from you . not for one night of pleasure . '' `` assuming i believe you , which i do n't , why ca n't i have both ? '' `` our world is not like the humans ' world . traditions . '' `` no one has to know but us . '' i 've worked for centuries to see the continuation of my race . i would give my life for you , but i ca n't offer theirs . i ca n't risk the life of a child we might conceive . '' `` i 'm protected . `` if you take my blood you might . i would n't have the control to fight you . i 'd take you . i 'd spill my seed inside you . you could conceive . '' we can go buy condoms . '' `` i can not risk it . and any child we would have would be doomed to a life of humiliation and starvation . the thought of making a child suffer doused her lust . she scrambled away , pulling the blanket tightly around herself . you do n't know any of that . you 're just trying to frighten me . '' logan pulled his shirt down and sat up . i wish we could have our liaison and no one would come to harm , but that 's not the way our world works . that dream we shared was all we 'll ever have . '' in my dreams ? '' `` though i wish i had n't been . `` i 'm glad you were there , '' said hope . `` if that 's all we can ever have , then it 'll have to be better than nothing . '' we must finish our bargain and go our separate ways . '' wanting logan was hard , but loving him and knowing there would never be anything between them was torture . she needed to have him out of her life before she was so deeply in love with him she 'd never find a way out . she lowered her voice , unable to put any enthusiasm in the words . hacksaw found the address of hope 's photography studio . the master 's presence inside his mind propelled him forward , burning inside him as a punishment for his failure . he 'd lost the master 's woman . the bloodsucker who guarded her still lived . but the night was young and the master 's hold on hacksaw was strong . his guidance would lead him to victory , so hacksaw did n't even try to fight it . not that it would do any good if he had . a bell tinkled as he walked into the posh studio . ornately framed portraits lined the walls .

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she had at first been fearing that mark might have charmed her landlady and would try to enter her room with her , but somehow , this seemed ridiculous to her now . all she wanted was to look upon that kind , wrinkled face and listen to mrs. grindle chatter away effortlessly . she had a feeling though , that quite some talking on her sideanything but effortlesslywould be warranted . as soon as she had opened the door , she was enveloped in a hug that almost knocked her off her feet and brought a prickling of fresh tears to her eyes . mrs. grindle pressed her to her ample bosom for a quiet minute , held her away at arms length , looker her over and clucked disapprovingly . my dear , how can you frighten me so ? look at your gaunt face and your red eyes ! i was worried out of my wits ! if you hadnt opened the door this time , i would have asked mr. beckhursthes the village policemanto break the door in and check whether youre still alive . the old ladys voice was shaking audibly and cathy cringed with guilt . i just needed some time alone . youre anything but fine , my dear . have you been starving yourself ? now you sit down right here and dont move a finger . aunt grindle will hurry down and get you something to eat . before she could reply , mrs. grindle had pushed her down onto the couch in a no-nonsense manner and was shuffling out of the room with surprising speed . she waited without moving , her heart pounding in her chest for fear that this might be a trap and that her landlady would return with mark in tow or said policeman . when aunt grindle came back , though , she was loaded with a loaf of brown bread , a banana , a tub of yoghurt and a packet of sausages . she didnt let her protest , nor did she let her get up to cut the bread into slices and fry the sausages . only when the young woman was chewing away on the improvised meal did the old lady calm down somewhat . she sat down next to her and for a while was content watching her eat . finally , sitting up straighter , she broke the silence . i know we villagers tend to be rather snoopy and you townsfolk like to keep to themselves . however , there is something we should talk about . she held up a hand when cathy opened her mouth to answer , not quite knowing what to say but willing to appease her companion . as you probably know , i heard about what happened at the shop . bertha , the cashier lady , told me so over the phone that same day when you never came back to pick up your groceries and she got worried what might have happened to you . i will not judge you , but i need you to answer some questions truthfully . here , mrs. grindle fixed her with a stern look that reminded her of a school teacher she had been quite scared of in her childhood . a nod was her only answer , though inside her head , a panicked voice was asking her to not reveal a thing , pack her belongings and leave before the situation got ugly for all . why did you scream atthat man ? what has he done to make you scold him so ? she could break down sobbing now and confess her story of suffering or she could coldly tell the old lady to keep out of other peoples business . in the end , she did neither . that was my husband , she said , adding with a coolness that surprised herself , hopefully to be my ex-husband soon . mrs. grindles eyebrows rose so high that they disappeared into her white hairline . for a second , she stared in astonishment almost palpable . are you quite sure , my dear ? the old landlady finally asked . why couldnt she stop being so inquisitive ? ! well , i should know what my own husband looks like , now shouldnt i ? cathy snapped despite herself . aunt grindle held up both hands in defense and seemed to ponder something . cathy , i know this doesnt make sense to you , but i promise ill explain myself in just another minute . just one more thing : do you by chance have a photo of your husband with you ? having no idea why the old lady wanted a photo , cathy shook her head , deciding better not to snap at her again and hear her out . it was then that she remembered that she did have a photo . she went to her handbag that was hanging by the door , fished out her embroidered cloth purse and took out the small picture of mark that she had been carrying in it ever since their engagement . it was one of those photos he dealt out to the press when the time was ripe for another magazine interview with the nations rising star on the real estate sky . her husband was portrayed in a bust-sized black-and-white shot , in black suit jacket , white shirt and dark tie . he looked younger than his age of 37 and terribly handsome .

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her long hair swirled about a face that was simply perfect . straight , uncompromising brows , direct hazel eyes and a wide mouth of such delicious rosy-red that he fought the urge to kiss it . then he saw that she was upset . his gaze dropped to the infant seat . `` dylan is n't well . i 'm taking him to the medical center . '' connor did n't ask questions . `` we 'll go in my car . '' when she looked like she wanted to protest , he added , `` if i drive you can look after dylan . '' once he 'd made sure she and dylan were comfortably ensconced in the back seat of the maserati , connor pulled out his cell phone and made a call , before climbing into the driver 's seat . `` this is n't the medical center i meant , '' victoria said sharply fifteen minutes later . connor felt the impact of her accusing gaze on the back of his head , but he did n't shift his eyes from the road ahead . `` i called a friend who 's a pediatrician . he 's meeting us at his rooms-he understands the background . '' chuck had known michael , and knew connor had been named guardian of his child . chuck even knew the truth about dylan 's paternity . `` if it 's necessary chuck will admit dylan to starship , '' he said , referring to the well-known children 's hospital . `` his name is charles drysdale , if that 's any better . we play squash at the same club . '' a stab of pain pierced connor at the thought of visiting the courts without michael . `` and he 's one of the best pediatricians in town . you 'll be charmed-most women are . '' charles-or chuck-drysdale had twinkling eyes and a way of putting patients at ease within minutes of meeting him . victoria liked him at once . `` tell me what you noticed , victoria , '' he asked when she 'd taken dylan out of the infant seat and sat down with him on her lap . victoria shifted guiltily in the chair , all too conscious of connor hovering anxiously behind her . `` dylan has been a little crabby for a couple of days . '' connor came closer and scowled . `` you never let me know . '' `` i thought he was missing his parents , '' she said defensively . `` he 'd certainly notice that , '' chuck said . `` so two days ? that 's how long he 's been crabby ? '' victoria thought back to how demanding the baby had been over the weekend , how only holding him had settled him . `` maybe a little longer-from friday perhaps . the funeral was on thursday and he seemed fine then . chuck made a note on the pad in front of him . `` did you notice anything else ? '' `` li called me at work earlier . dylan had a temperature and- '' `` who is li ? '' connor paced closer . victoria shrank into the chair . `` she 's one of the caregivers in the day care center . '' `` day care center ? what 's dylan doing in a day care center ? '' connor 's eyes glittered with the kind of rage she 'd never seen . `` we 've never discussed putting dylan in a day care center . '' `` connor , save it for later . let 's see what 's wrong with the baby first . '' the doctor rose to his feet and crossed the room to an examining couch . he gave victoria a sympathetic smile . `` why do n't you bring dylan here ? '' victoria felt totally wretched as she laid dylan down on the bed . every doubt she 'd ever had about mothering crashed in on her . `` i 'm not doing a good job , am i ? '' most new mothers feel a little frazzled and uncertain when their baby becomes ill. '' he asked some more questions while he examined dylan . finally he said , `` have you ever had chicken pox , victoria ? '' `` chicken pox ? that 's what dylan has ? '' `` certainly looks like it . it 's not common for such young babies to get chicken pox , but it does happen , and the symptoms fit-the temperature , not drinking ... and see here ? '' she stared down to where he pointed to a small pink dot on dylan 's chest . he indicated another spot , this one with a small scab . `` i saw that-i thought it was an insect bite . but should n't there be more spots ? '' some cases only have a few spots here and there . '' lifting her head , she said , `` but i thought chicken pox spots were watery blisters . '' `` that one , '' he gestured to the pink dot , `` will blister soon . then it will scab over . ''

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my bag barely touched the ground as i sprinted across campus , glad that claire had parked my car in the middle lot to be spiteful . i thought of al the possibilities for his sudden disappearance , but my mind kept returning to the hel i 'd gone through just a week before . jared did n't have a history of warning me that he was going to end our relationship . by the time i reached my car my lungs were frozen and aching . i fumbled with my keys and ripped the door open , heaving my bag to the passenger side . the tires squealed as i pul ed out into the street , cursing every stoplight that cost me precious time . i pul ed up to jared 's loft and took a deep breath . his escalade was n't parked in front , but i tried the door , anyway . i kept my eyes on the doorknob as i waited , wil ing it to twist open . dogs barked down the dark street and i suddenly felt uneasy . until that moment , i had n't realized how safe i felt with jared ; the al ey had never seemed frightening before . i walked back to the beemer , defeated . he would have cal ed if it was anything other than the worst scenario . he had either broken his promise not to leave me , or he was in danger . after twenty minutes and stil no cal from jared , my lungs began to feel less satisfied with every breath and my eyes wel ed over with tears . a knock resounded on my window and i jumped . claire 's flawless face was on the other side . i 'm here to let you in . '' i stared at her for a moment , dumbfounded . her explanation did n't make sense , but the knowledge that he had sent her to let me in the loft extinguished half of my fears . i asked , fol owing her down the al ey . you worry too much , '' she said , her annoyed expression obvious even in the dark . she led me up the iron stairs of the entry way , and then opened the door to let me inside . i ran up the stairs to the loft and col apsed into the bed . an overwhelming feeling of relief tore through me , and i did my best to weep quietly to avoid further ridicule from claire . i dried my eyes as i heard her light footsteps climb the stairs and stop beside the bed . `` wow , '' she deadpanned , chomping on a wad of gum too big for her petite mouth . claire sighed and sat down on jared 's side of the bed . i froze for a moment , bracing for an obnoxious comment from her . i shot a confused glance her way . `` w ... what are you doing ? '' `` i 'm supposed to sit with you , '' she said , sounding bored . `` sit with me ? go take a shower , wil you ? i sniffed again and ambled to the shower , too baffled to argue . claire never missed an opportunity to make me feel like an idiot , but surely she could understand my tears . i hurried through my nightly routine , anxious that every noise outside the bathroom was jared returning home . when i finished , claire was downstairs . i slipped on one of jared 's t-shirts . it was a poor substitute , but it would have to do until he came home . with impeccable timing , she returned as i slipped under the covers . she looked away from me , suddenly uncomfortable . `` that 's jared 's favorite shirt . '' i looked down and noticed the dead giveaway : it was ratty and worn . the dark grey heather cotton was thin , and i smiled as i made out the faded words across the front ; it was from a red hot chili peppers concert four years ago . i looked up at claire who showed signs of a slight grin . `` my dad took him to that concert , '' she mused , sitting on the bed beside me . `` you look like him , '' i said . gabe had light blonde hair as wel , and claire had inherited his ice blue eyes . those eyes instantly glazed over with anger . you ... , '' she stopped herself , `` just go to sleep , nina . '' fal ing asleep with claire sitting over me like a prison guard was n't likely , so i turned my back to her , focusing on jared . i wondered what it was that he was doing , and wondered why he had n't cal ed . i opened my mouth to ask claire , but given her mood i thought better of it . the clock switched from p.m. to a.m. as the numbers changed to midnight . jared stil had n't cal ed , and i was almost worried enough to ask claire to cal him . at that moment , claire stood up and walked over to the railing . the outside door slammed , footsteps echoed up the iron steps , and then the front door opened and closed quietly . claire 's eyes fol owed the footsteps up the stairs until jared came into view . the sight of him shocked me .

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`` you 're the one who kept me waiting , kitty-cat , '' clyde said fondly . `` i told you i was ready any time , anywhere . '' ally gulped . `` and you certainly backed up that boast , poopsie . ally , this man is a marvel . such stamina . '' `` you bring out the beast in me , '' clyde said . `` hey , is there any more coffee ? '' ally wondered if betsy kept a travel mug around somewhere . ally was ready to travel . a girl could only be expected to deal with so much information . `` yeah , i 'd love a cup of coffee , too . '' ally spun around . sure enough , mitchell stood in the kitchen doorway . i always get up by seven . '' `` but it 's still dark out ! '' she could n't believe that her escape plan was already compromised . she also could n't believe that he had on dress slacks , a dress shirt , a tie , and his same ugly sport coat . surely he knew that it looked ridiculous in general , and especially ridiculous in porcupine , alaska . `` does n't matter if it 's dark or light . as you pointed out , i 'm a creature of habit . i like routine . '' he glanced at her backpack . * * * chapter ten the minute he 'd heard ally 's alarm coming through the bug under her bed , mitch was wide awake . it felt as if he 'd been asleep all of two hours , and no light shone through the ice and snow coating his window , but apparently ally was getting up . and that meant he was , too , dammit . he 'd just started to feel warm . he hit the button that lit up the dial on his watch . seven already . she might be trying to sneak out of the lodge without him , and he could n't allow that to happen . he shoved back the covers . pulled them up again , shivering . okay , so his room was colder than a meat locker . jaw clenched to keep his teeth from chattering , he climbed out of bed and grabbed his wrinkled dork clothes-slacks , shirt , tie , and jacket . ugly though they were , he could n't get them on fast enough . he 'd promised himself as a kid in chicago that he 'd never live in snow country again . yet here he was , his nuts drawn up tight against the arctic air as he tried to get his pants on before his penis froze up and dropped off . he needed other clothes . warmer clothes . he needed long underwear , thermal-lined sweats , and heavy-duty sweaters . hell , he needed his leather biker jacket and chaps . this dopey outfit he was wearing did n't work in alaska . he 'd suspected that , but he had n't dared modify it and tip off ally that he was someone other than who she 'd thought . so down the stairs he went , feeling the cold air climbing his pants legs while he listened to the conversation in the kitchen to make sure ally had n't left yet . furthermore , clyde was still in residence , and he and betsy were to the sickening pet-name stage . mitch braced himself and walked to the kitchen doorway . big surprise , ally was n't glad to see him . and she definitely had plans for the day because she had her backpack with her . on the one hand , he wanted them all to be snowed in so she could n't take off on a shooting expedition , which would mean he 'd have to go with her . on the other , he 'd love to have a tropical heat wave that would melt all that godawful white stuff by noon . `` nobody 's going anywhere until we do some shoveling , '' betsy said . `` open the front door , there 'll be a wall of snow to meet you . open the back door and step out , and you 'll sink crotch-deep in drifts . right , poopsie ? '' mitch winced , both at hearing clyde 's nickname tumbling from betsy 's mouth and remembering how much he hated to shovel snow . besides , no way was he going to aid and abet ally 's plan to leave the lodge . `` that 's right , kitty-cat , '' clyde said . `` i pried the front door open this morning when i went out in the hall to pick up the loose change i dropped last night . and there 's nothing there but solid white . we 'll have to go out the back way and tunnel in . '' `` or not , '' mitch said hopefully . he chose to ignore clyde 's reference to loose change on the hall floor , because he did n't want to think about how clyde had spilled his money from his pockets . `` i 'll bet you have a chess set around here somewhere , or wait ! the four of us could play some poker . the snow will melt sometime , right ? ''

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`` chicken enchiladas are my favorite , too , '' she said , and smiled up at the hostess as she handed them huge menus . joy read over the selections , made her choice , and set the menu aside . chips and salsa had already been delivered to the table , along with a container of bottled water . their waitress came for their orders and left soon afterward . `` i want to apologize for throwing myself at your feet and begging you to take me to the game with you , '' ted said , and sipped from a glass of iced tea . this night was one she would long remember , she suspected . it was a first date and prom night all rolled into one fantastic evening . he 'd spend this time with her , but every night from here on out he 'd be with blythe . joy would take what she could get . `` my grandmother was absolutely delighted when i told her we were going to dinner , '' ted told her . `` so she said . '' joy suspected catherine goodwin would enjoy the role of matchmaker . unfortunately it would n't work with her and ted , since ted was already seeing someone else . from what she surmised , catherine 's grandson and blythe were close to becoming engaged . their food arrived on huge ceramic plates . joy dipped her fork into the beans and cheese . `` i hope i have n't caused you any problems , '' ted surprised her by saying . `` with any male friends . '' the question made no sense . `` think about it , joy . another man , especially someone you were dating on a regular basis , might be offended that you opted to take me to this game and not him . '' there 's no male friend lurking around the corner . '' this was a subject joy had hoped to avoid . ted set his fork beside his plate and stared at her as if he found the information puzzling . you 're young , attractive , and fun . why are n't you dating ? '' `` listen , '' she said , sorry now she 'd even answered him , `` i wo n't ask you questions about your personal life and you do n't ask me , agreed ? '' `` agreed , '' he responded after a moment , but he seemed taken back by her outburst . actually she was surprised , too . usually she was n't confrontational , but she was living out a fantasy , and she did n't want it ruined by him analyzing her sorry lack of a social life . as it was , her two older brothers and her father were constantly foisting eligible friends off on her . there just was n't anyone she wanted to date . well , maybe ted , but he was already involved with blythe . now that she was on a date with him-albeit one and only one date-she did n't want him ruining it with a promise to fix her up with one of his good buddies . `` i apologize , '' she whispered , her eyes avoiding his . `` no , no , '' he said quickly , `` the fault was mine . it 's just that- '' he stopped abruptly . `` if you 're going to suggest a friend you want me to meet , please do n't . '' no , i was n't thinking of introducing you to any of my colleagues . '' it was absurd that she was so pleased to know that . when they 'd finished their dinner , they headed for the forum . by the time they arrived , the facility was quickly filling up . joy was amazed at the different perspective one got at the court level compared to sitting in the stands . `` this is fabulous , '' ted said as they settled onto the folding chairs on the sidelines . he twisted around and looked into the row upon row of seats behind him . `` i ca n't believe i 'm here . promise me one thing , '' she said . it was a long shot , but she was covering her bases . `` if you ever meet my dad or my brothers , which i realize is highly unlikely , whatever you do , do n't mention this , all right ? '' ted said , and laughed . `` so there is someone who would have given his right arm for these tickets . '' but family . it would have only caused problems . besides , i was the one who won that silly drawing . i do n't know how , mind you , but it was my name they pulled out of that giant barrel , and i love basketball as much as my father and brothers . '' applause erupted when the two teams ran onto the polished wood floor . soon the players were taking practice shots , tossing the ball back and forth to each other . joy was close enough to hear the whoosh of the balls as they passed from one pair of hands to another . she craned her neck back to watch the men who raced past her . `` i do n't think i ever realized how tall everyone is . '' `` me either , '' ted agreed . within a few minutes the game started , and the action was nonstop . whatever inhibitions joy had experienced at the beginning of their evening vanished as the lakers took the floor .

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jolene stared at michael , mouthed please . we 're staying , he mouthed back . conny moved down to the center of the bed , opposite her family , and pulled back the covers . jolene saw betsy flinch at the sight . her daughter edged toward the door . jolene gritted her teeth as long , dark fingers began slowly unwrapping the elastic bandage . `` it 's in a figure-eight pattern , see ? that 's how you wrap it back up , keeping it tight to help with the swelling . '' then the bandage was off ; beneath was a soft white gauze . she clutched at the blanket in her left hand , squeezed the fabric in her fist . michael put his hand over hers , held it . she saw her half leg for the first time , and it made her sick to her stomach . it was huge and swollen . tears flooded her eyes , and she fought to hold them back . `` i have to go to the bathroom , '' betsy said , grunted really , and ran out of the room , slamming the door behind her . `` it looks like a football , '' lulu said , frowning curiously . michael looked at jolene ; she saw her own emotions mirrored in his eyes : fear , loss , sadness , pity . `` come on , jolene , '' conny said . she drew in a shaky breath and slowly , slowly bent forward , picking up the new gauze conny had put beside her . `` carefully , '' conny said , putting his hands over hers , showing her how to bandage it . her skin was taut and sensitive ; swollen ; not hers , somehow . bile rose in her throat ; she swallowed and forced herself to keep going . for betsy and lulu , she thought , over and over . act like it 's nothing , like it does n't hurt and make you sick . be their mom again . she wrapped her leg back up tightly , placed the small silver hooks in place , and then sat back , her eyes stinging as she yanked the blanket back up . `` beautiful job , '' conny said . `` practically perfect . '' he looked down at lulu . `` you and your mom are so brave . '' `` we 're soldiers , '' she said . `` well , i 'm just pretend . '' conny smiled . and now , young lady , i need to get some things to help your mom exercise . you want to help me get them ? '' when they were gone , jolene flopped back into her mound of pillows , exhausted . michael asked , leaning over her . she did n't have the strength to deal with him right now . she felt so weak and vulnerable , and in that split second when their gazes had met , she 'd imagined love . nothing could scare her more . she 'd given him her heart long ago , and for so many years , and then he 'd crushed it . with her body so broken , she could n't let anything else be hurt . `` why are you even here , michael ? you know we 're over . '' she struggled to sit back up , hating how she looked doing something so simple , all off-balance and breathing hard . `` do n't lie to me , michael . '' i learned a lot while you were gone , jolene . about you ... about me ... about us . i was an idiot to tell you i did n't love you . she wanted it to be true , wanted it so badly she felt sick with longing . but she was broken now , and michael had always had a keen sense of duty . it was one of the things they 'd shared . he would n't let himself walk away from his wounded wife , no matter how much he wanted to . `` we 're back , mommy , '' lulu said , coming back into the room with conny . `` and conny says we get to play catch ! '' jolene drew in a tired breath . she wanted to say , really ? with one hand ? wo n't it be more like fetch ? keeping silent felt like a minor triumph . she managed a small , hopeful smile . `` okay , lulu , '' she said . `` i love playing catch . * * * michael stood by jolene 's bedside . she had fallen asleep almost immediately after her pt session . he was hardly surprised . today he 'd seen the woman who flew helicopters . he stared down at her scabby , bruised face . always , from the beginning even , when she 'd come into his office that first day , he 'd seen jolene as a powerhouse , a woman with steel in her spine . he saw her vulnerability now . maybe for the first time ever she needed him . it surprised him how much that meant to him , how much he wanted to be there for her . `` have i lost you , jo ? ''

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ro did as she was told and pulled the maserati right in front of the building . ro got out of the car and made her way with stiff steps to the optometrists office . blake shook his head ruefully at ro and followed . the optometrist , ms. kimberly young , was available and so ro took the eye exam and got a new prescription that she could use for glasses and for contacts . ms. young recommended the contact lens brand acuvue 2 , and happened to have a few boxes of them in stock with ros new prescription . ro paid for her eye exam and a few boxes of contact lenses with cash ( blakes money ) . ro took off her glasses , folded them and put them into her pocket . she then borrowed some of the eye doctors contact solution so that she could put her new contact lenses into her eyes . from the optometrists office , ro and blake walked down rodeo drive ( blake floated ) and the ghost pointed out a cell phone store to ro next . he told the medium to get the samsung galaxy s4 phone , which cost $ 619.99 ! ro almost fainted at the price but did as she was told . after that , blake took ro to the armani store and the prada store , and chose several stylish outfits for her to wear - outfits that would make her claim of being a stylist much more believable . he chose a lot of black and white outfits , and a few outfits that had some dark blue in them to bring out rosalies stunning eyes . sequined bra tops , lace-up corsets , tank tops with rhinestones , tight leather pants , short shorts and more . rosalie blushed at some of the items blake thought shed be getting into . im going to look like a prostitute ! afterwards , loaded down with five bags in each hand ro staggered down the street back to blakes maserati . the ghost had his hands behind his head as he strut down the sidewalk next to rosalie and was whistling a little tune happily to himself . blake wasnt gay , but he sure loved shopping . ro became irked by his carefree behavior as she huffed and puffed down the street . hey , are those muscles of yours just for show ? why dont you help me with these bags ? ro complained . blake stopped in his tracks and raised an eyebrow at ro . i would if my hands wouldnt just pass through the bags . ro blinked and then realized what she had just asked a ghost . she kept forgetting that blake white was dead ! she was soinconsiderate and heartless . the mediums blood drained from her face . blake , im so- ro began to apologize . but blake raised his hand , signaling for her to quiet . it doesnt really bother me that you keep forgetting imwell , its better like this . the singer smiled lopsidedly at her . ro smiled softly . ro and blake made their way back to the singers silver and black maserati . ro struggled to fit all of the bags inside the car and then got into the drivers side seat . blake phased into the passengers side seat . ro started the car and pulled out into traffic . they began to make their way back to blakes penthouse suite . meanwhile , rockstar joey bones was cruising in his sporty , yellow and black lamborghini murcielago - driving down rodeo drive at top speed while trying to escape the paparazzi that were currently in pursuit of him . joey was wearing a pair of yellow and black wayfarer sunglasses on his face , a pair of lmfaos yellow and black zebra print pants and a black t-shirt . joey swerved around a car that was in front of him and moved in front of it only to have to break suddenly because the car in front of him had just come to a stop at a red light ! joey was already running late for erotic corpses scheduled interview with chelsea handler , for the chelsea lately show that would air on the e ! network . he had to get his butt over to the digital media center , on 12312 west olympic boulevard a.sap . joey was extremely nervous about this interview since he was sure that chelsea was going to bring up blakes death . joeys hands clenched around his steering wheel at the thought . and then- bonk . joey felt the car behind him run into his beautiful baby ! joeys eyes widened in concern and horror . joey emerged quickly out of the drivers side door to go inspect the damage to his bumper . meanwhile , back to ro and blake when the yellow and black car abruptly swerved in front of ro and then suddenly had to break , ro tried to step on the brakes as fast as possible , but she just wasnt fast enough . the maserati ran right into the sports car from behind .

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`` without question , '' he told her , smiling . he led her onto the dance floor , curling her into his arms as bing crosby 's `` white christmas '' suddenly drifted through the speakers . she smelled wonderful , he thought . like a lemon pound cake-which was probably not all that complimentary , but delicious all the same . `` i 'm quite flattered . you 're not half bad yourself . '' `` half bad ? '' he remarked , his eyes rounding as he sent her into a twirl . `` clearly i 'm not trying hard enough . '' `` yes , but you 're steadily improving , '' she told him , `` and that 's what 's important . '' he wanted to take her right now , silas thought . he wanted to flip that ridiculous dress up over her h*ps and slip into her from behind . he wanted to feel her br**sts pebble against his hands and suck on her neck while he pounded into her , her sweet ass cradling his groin . he cast her a brooding glance . he 'd even let her leave the hat on . she saw him watching her and a wary smile shaped her mouth . he purposely licked his lips , allowed his fingers to slip along the side of her breast . she gasped , her gaze finding his . `` i 'm thinking about fried chicken and the likelihood of having some right now . '' she swallowed hard and he watched as her pulse fluttered wildly at the base of her throat . he was suddenly so hard he could scarcely think of anything else . red was her color . she 'd put it on her lips as well , and the image of her mouth encircling him , sliding along his dick , was so vivid he actually stumbled over his own feet . `` right damned now . '' with a nonchalant shrug he 'd remember forever , she threaded her fingers through his and tugged him toward the door . delphie was so shocked at herself she did n't know what to do . one minute she 'd been enjoying silas 's quick but unsolicited rescue from her grandmother-he could n't have said anything better had she scripted the line for him herself-and their ensuing dance . the next , he 'd mentioned fried chicken , and her sex had started throbbing right along with her frantically beating heart . who gives a damn about the wedding ? delphie thought , and her br**sts grew heavier and heavier with need . she just wanted to have the honeymoon over and over again . with silas . she led him downstairs to a little-used bathroom and she 'd no more than closed the door before she felt him behind her , lifting her dress , his hot fingers against the backs of her thighs . a thrill whipped through her . she bent over and parted her legs , then cast him a glance over her shoulder . `` i want you so bad i can barely think straight , '' he said , making the confession as he slid a finger against her slick folds . she gasped and wiggled against him . `` it 's the fur on the dress , is n't it ? it 's sort of got a porn-star quality . '' he laughed into her ear , then suckled her neck . she heard the telltale sound of a condom package tearing , the whine of his zipper and a second later she felt him pushing against her nether lips . her mouth opened in a soundless gasp and she felt her muscles clench , readying for him . she arched her back and bent forward , giving him better access . with a guttural groan of masculine satisfaction , he slid into her . the breath hitched out of her lungs and she tightened around him and pressed her hands against the door . he slid out and pushed again and she could tell that he was holding back , that he was afraid of hurting her . but that was n't what hurt . `` do n't be gentle , '' she said , clenching her teeth against the need hammering against her . `` take me how you really want me . '' he gave a startled little laugh and then bent forward and breathed into her ear . `` i do like the fur , '' he said . and you look good in red . like santa 's sexy little helper . '' he grabbed hold of her h*ps and pounded into her . it was wild and manic , hot and dirty , and to her immense surprise , she found she really wanted it that way . he did this to her , delphie thought . he made her want him like this . he pistoned in and out of her , harder and faster , then faster still . she absorbed his thrusts and worked herself against him , arched her head back when it got to be too much and he bent forward and bit her shoulder , a light nip , but she liked it so much it made her vision blacken around the edges . he reached around and massaged her clit , upped the tempo and nipped at her neck .

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jamie wiped the hair out of his eyes , panting . `` bad as wolves , '' he said . `` i 'd told colum about that pack already ; they 're the ones that chased cobhar into the loch two days ago . best he has them shot before they kill someone . '' he looked down at me as i knelt next to the fallen priest , inspecting . the rain dripped from the ends of my hair , and i could feel my shawl growing sodden . `` they have n't yet , '' i said . `` bar a few toothmarks , he 's basically all right . '' father bain 's soutane was ripped down one side , showing an expanse of hairless white thigh with an ugly gash and several puncture marks beginning to ooze blood . the priest , pasty-white with shock , was struggling to his feet ; plainly he was n't too badly injured . `` if you 'll come to the surgery with me , father , i 'll cleanse those cuts for you , '' i offered , suppressing a smile at the spectacle the fat little priest presented , soutane flapping and argyle socks revealed . at the best of times , father bain 's face resembled a clenched fist . this similarity was made more pronounced at the moment by the red mottling that streaked his jowls and emphasized the vertical creases between cheeks and mouth . he glared at me as though i had suggested that he commit some public indecency . apparently i had , for his next words were `` what , a man o ' god to expose his pairsonal parts to the handling of a wumman ? weel , i 'll tell ye , madam , i 've no notion what sorts of immorality are practiced in the circles you 're accustomed to move in , but i 'll have ye to ken that such 'll no be tolerated here-not sae long as i 've the cure of the souls in this parish ! '' with that , he turned and stumped off , limping rather badly and trying unsuccessfully to hold up the torn side of his robe . `` suit yourself , '' i called after him . `` if you do n't let me cleanse it , it will fester ! '' the priest did not respond , but hunched his round shoulders and hitched his way up the garden stair a step at a time , like a penguin hopping up an ice floe . `` that man does n't care overmuch for women , does he ? '' i remarked to jamie . `` considering his occupation , i imagine that 's as well , '' he replied . after lunch , i sent my patient back to bed to rest-alone , this time , in spite of his protestations-and went down to the surgery . the heavy rain seemed to have made business slack ; people tended to stay safely inside , rather than running over their feet with ploughshares or falling off roofs . i passed the time pleasantly enough , bringing the records in davie beaton 's book up to date . just as i finished , though , a visitor darkened my door . he literally darkened it , his bulk filling it from side to side . squinting in the semidarkness , i made out the form of alec macmahon , swathed in an extraordinary get-up of coats , shawls , and odd bits of horse-blanket . he advanced with a slowness that reminded me of colum 's first visit to the surgery with me , and gave me a clue to his problem . `` rheumatism , is it ? '' i asked with sympathy , as he subsided stiffly into my single chair with a stifled groan . the damp settles in my bones , '' he said . `` aught to be done about it ? '' he laid his huge , gnarled hands on the table , letting the fingers relax . the hands opened slowly , like a night-blooming flower , to show the callused palms within . i picked up one of the knotted appendages and turned it gently to and fro , stretching the fingers and massaging the horny palm . the seamed old face above the hand contorted for a moment as i did it , but then relaxed as the first twinges passed . `` like wood , '' i said . `` a good slug of whisky and a deep massage is the best i can recommend . tansy tea will do only so much . '' he laughed , shawls slipping off his shoulder . `` whisky , eh ? i had my doubts , lassie , but i see ye 've the makings of a fine physician . '' i reached into the back of my medicine cupboard and pulled out the anonymous brown bottle that held my supply from the leoch distillery . i plunked it on the table before him , with a horn cup .

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still , this seemed like the kind of trouble thigh-bolt would start . but how on earth would he know ? they 'd seen each other only twice , and there was n't a chance that thigh-bolt could have deduced the truth from those two meetings . but what about the break-in ? clayton thought about it before rejecting his idea . he 'd been in and out in twenty minutes , and he had n't even had to jimmy the lock , since the guy had n't bothered to lock the front door . and nothing had been missing , so why would thigh-bolt even have suspected someone had been inside in the first place ? and even if he 'd guessed chat someone had been in the house , why would he draw the connection to clayton ? he could n't answer those questions to his satisfaction , but the theory that thigh-bolt had had something to do with this little wrinkle seemed to fit . he 'd had nothing but problems since thigh-bolt had arrived . so he figured thigh-bolt was high on his list of folks who probably should have minded their own business . which gave him one more reason to finally fix the guy . he was n't going to get too caught up with that now , though . he was still feeling pretty good about how he 'd salvaged the conversation with beth . it could have been a fiasco . the last thing on earth he 'd expected when she 'd called him over was for her to ask him about his involvement in her previous relationships . but he 'd handled it well . not only was he able to muster a plausible denial , but he 'd also made her think twice about thigh-bolt . he could tell by her expression that he 'd brought up a number of issues she had n't considered about thigh-bolt ... and best of all , he 'd convinced her that it was all in ben 's best interest . maybe she 'd end up dumping him , and thigh-bolt would leave town . yet another of beth 's relationship problems would be solved , and thigh-bolt would be out of the picture . he drove slowly , savoring the taste of victory . he wondered whether he should head out for a celebratory beer but decided against it . it was n't as if he could talk about what happened . talking was what might have gotten him into trouble in the first place . after turning onto his street , he cruised past a number of large , well-maintained homes , each sitting on half an acre . he lived at the end of the cul-de-sac ; his neighbors were a doctor and lawyer . he had n't done too badly , if he did say so himself . it was only when he turned in the driveway that he noticed someone standing on the sidewalk in front of the house . when he slowed , he saw the dog poised beside him and he slammed on the brakes , blinking in disbelief . he jammed the car into park . despite the rain , he stepped out of the car and headed directly for thigh-bolt . when zeus snarled and began to creep forward , clayton stopped short . thigh-bolt raised a hand and the dog froze . he shouted , making his voice heard over the rain . `` waiting for you , '' thigh-bolt replied . `` i think it 's time we had a talk . '' clayton did n't like the sound of that , but he was n't about to be intimidated by the guy . `` what i know is that you 're loitering . in this county , that 's a crime . '' `` you wo n't arrest me . '' part of him considered doing just that . thigh-bolt continued to stare at him as if daring him to prove it . clayton wanted to wipe that expression off thigh-bolt 's face with his fist . but ever present cujo was there . `` like i said , it 's time for us to talk . '' his tone was even and steady . `` i 've got nothing to say to you , '' clayton fumed . if you 're still out here when i reach the porch , i 'll have you arrested for threatening a deputy with a lethal weapon . '' he turned and started up the walk , toward the door . `` you did n't find the disk , '' thigh-bolt called out . clayton stopped and turned around . `` the disk , '' thigh-bolt repeated . `` that 's what you were looking for when you broke into my house . when you went through my drawers , looked under the mattress , checked the cabinets . '' `` i did n't break into your house . '' he squinted at thigh-bolt . `` yes , '' he said , `` you did . last monday , when i was at work . '' `` prove it , '' he barked . `` i already have all the proof i need . the motion detector i had set up in the fireplace turned on the video recorder . it was hidden in the fireplace .

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`` hiring a gardener would break harry 's heart . harry loves this garden , and the house , too . he used to work on things all day long . kept him fit until the last year . now he ca n't breathe well enough to walk across the room . dash hired a man to do some weeding , and harry nearly 'bout had a fit . '' she let go of a long breath . `` well , i do n't have much to complain about . fifty-one years of happiness is more than most of us get , i reckon . '' perhaps dash was n't selfish at all . and the old lady did n't need or want any kind of affirmation of what was , after all , a platitude . fifty-one years of happiness were more than many got , but if one was left behind , it would still never be enough . she rocked a long moment in silence . `` i do like a man who knows when to keep his mouth shut . '' `` it was intended as such . and more so , given what you 've been up to this evening . '' `` ah , i was wondering when you 'd get to that . shall i pack my bags and take myself off to the peach blossom motor court ? '' miriam laughed and turned her head . the yellow porch light caught a glimmer in her dark , myopic stare . her eyeglasses were perched on the top of her head , and the twin indentations on either side of her nose told him that she was probably blind without them . he was utterly blind without his contact lenses . but there were times when leaving them out and letting the world blur would give him a moment of inner peace . `` no , i do n't think i 'll send you off to the peach blossom . that would put you at lillian bray 's mercy . '' `` lillian bray ? '' she 's the chair of the christ church ladies auxiliary , a member of the town council , and the chair of the garden club . now there is a woman who takes gardening seriously . her gladioli are legendary . '' he said politely , as if he were sitting down to tea with great-aunt maude . and she 's on your side , if you must know . '' `` well then , i will have to seek her out and enlist her work on my behalf . '' there was a sour note in miriam 's voice . `` i take it you 're not keen on my building a factory here in last chance . would it change your mind if i told you it would employ two hundred people ? '' `` not if it means disturbing the angels who 've been watching over this town for a hundred and fifty years . '' `` you know about the angels , do n't you ? '' `` oh , yes , caroline was very thorough with her briefing . i told her we needed to get the angels on our side . '' miriam huffed a laugh . `` lord a'mercy , you are a funny man . but honey , that may be harder than you think . '' the factory will create jobs . if the angels are interested in protecting the town , would n't they see that ? '' but you see , the angels are probably on the side of the environmentalists . and even if they are n't , i 'm thinking elbert 's angels are more interested in having people learn their bible by playing golf than helping with the unemployment situation . and that 's why we formed our committee . the golf course could easily save the town . it is a marvel , and well , there is only one golfing for god , and there are factories everywhere . '' i wonder if it would be possible to move the golf course . '' `` move it ? '' yes , all the statues and whatnot . '' the old woman leaned forward . `` hugh , honey , have you seen the golf course ? '' i gather caroline is trying to schedule something for tomorrow . '' `` you know , i would n't count on rocky being entirely on your side on this . '' `` oh , do n't worry , i 'm not counting on her . '' `` she 's conflicted , of course . i 'm certainly not above using her local knowledge . but i 'm not foolish enough to trust her . '' `` if you do n't mind my saying so , i think you had better count on the fact that you are n't going to get that land . you 'd have to convince god , and he 's on elbert 's side , i believe . '' `` that 's too bad for the people of last chance , is n't it ? because i 'm very close to losing my patience . i could very easily return home to the uk , marry lady ashton , and forget about this project altogether . '' miriam turned and pulled her glasses down and rested them on her nose . they were thick trifocals , upturned at their corners and decorated with rhinestones .

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kevan could see the pain in josephs body . it convulsed with each wave of energy that surged through him . she knew if she didnt stop eve quickly , shed kill him , and kevan couldnt let that happen . help me , kevan ! eve begged . you can do it honey ; see it in your mind . eve squeezed her eyes shut , focusing on kevans voice and what she was telling her . slowly , after what felt like hours , a picture began to form in her mind . it was so hard , to think beyond the pulsing burn to know the truth that dominated everything . she liked the surging power rippling through her body , but deep down she knew if she didnt stop , shed kill the sorcerer , and she didnt think she could live with that . in the distance , she could hear kevan telling her to think of it like a puzzle , start with one piece then move on , so she did , thinking only of moving first one finger then the next . it was so hard , the battle continued to rage between the two parts of her body , fighting her every step . kevan gasped with relief when she finally saw one of eves fingers move . she continued to talk to her quietly , encouraging her keep going , assuring her that she was winning . finally , eve inched her way to gaining the upper hand , and slowly one knuckle , then a finger at a time , released the sorcerers arm , and control was hers again for a second before she collapsed to the floor . kevan cradled her drained sister in her arms . eve , talk to me , are you okay ? eve struggled to a sit up , looking around the room , faces staring back at her . then it all came flooding back , the harm of what she had done . oh my gods , what have i done ? she sobbed , as she grabbed onto kevans arm . she pleaded , needing to know , and crawled towards the stunned joseph , but he moved away from her . he didnt want another lesson from the human today . hes fine , kevan assured her . kevan wanted to know , as she pushed eves hair out of her eyes , soothing eves mind even as her body still shook from the aftermath of what had just happened . i dont know , eve cried , grateful for kevans help . i just knew he was lying about something , but i dont understand what happened to me . roderic , she saw him getting to his feet . dont worry about me , im fine , he told her , as he moved towards her . she looked at niall , then down at hands that understood healing instinctively , but had almost betrayed her by taking a life . i wish i knew , niall told her . ive never seen anything like that before , but if i were a betting man , which i am , that trick had everything to do with your powers ! i know what happened , and i refuse to let this level of power go unleashed and untrained ! joseph croaked forcing them all to pay attention to him , reminding everyone he was still pompous . leave me alone , im fine , he snapped , pushing rhiannon away , struggling to his feet , his body swaying as he fought to take control again . its your powers ; theyre beginning to manifest themselves . you need to learn to control them quickly , or youll kill someone . niall stepped into the animosity building around joseph , but kevan broke the tension with exacerbation of his attitude . would you get off your soap box , weve already told you were not going anywhere with you ! kevan advised him . you cant scare us into changing our minds . kevan , stop , eve whispered . i know we all agreed we didnt want anything to do with what he was offering . but im changing my mind . if what i did to him has to do with these so-called powers , im willing to take his help . i dont want to ever experience anything like that again . we need to know how to control our new powers , whatever they might be . i thought i was going to kill him , and nothing i did would stop me . kevan , you got through to me , but i cant do that again . i have to be to be able to control what rides inside . eve felt sick at what she had almost done to joseph , flinching over what flashed through her mind . trust me ; you dont want to ever do what i almost did . i dont want you to have to go through it . kevan looked from eve to joseph , then back to her other sisters , wondering when shed been appointed as the one making all the decisions for them . fine , you can train us , she snapped at joseph , her voice echoing her resignation , but her attitude spoke volumes , telling him that she really didnt like this . finally , youre seeing reason . joseph accepted her answer , but in the back of his mind , something nagged at his brain .

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i 'd caught a few of the headlines that had been coming out since this whole mess exploded . i tried to avoid them as much as i could , for my sanity 's sake , but i 'd caught daniel looking at a few of them online - stuff like thorne in disgrace from the tabloid rags , while the serious business outlets ran multi-page stories dissecting every aspect of his life history that they knew . this was so ... personal . i had a horrible , crawling sensation on the back of my neck . i nearly jumped out of my skin when i heard the door buzz . i advanced towards it cautiously , finally reaching the peephole and peering out . there was a young woman standing in the hallway . i hardly recognized her at first , until i realized that it was the same girl from his last interview - but with her hair pulled back severely , and wearing a sharp suit and standing with her shoulders drawn back . i was determined to turn and walk away , but a part of me was morbidly curious to find out how much she knew - and how . and besides , she was reaching for the buzzer again , and i did n't want to find out what was going to happen if she woke daniel . the girl was taken slightly aback . `` oh , hello , '' she said , looking me up and down . i was wearing some baggy yoga clothes i 'd pulled on after rolling out of bed , no makeup , and had n't bothered to brush my hair . i could n't wait to see how they 'd describe me in the inevitable sidebar blurb . i just had to make sure the visit did n't warrant an entire article . `` what brings you here on this beautiful morning ? '' i asked , with the most wan smile i could muster . she kept standing there , a few feet away , looking at me like she thought i must smell bad . `` i ... is mr. thorne home ? i was just hoping to get few comments from him on the recent events . '' `` and he 'd love nothing more than to relive the nightmare for your readers ' entertainment , i 'm sure , '' i said , smoothly . `` but daniel 's sleeping at the moment , so you 'll have to come back some other time . or , better yet , do n't . '' her eyes were sharp and unforgiving . part of me was thrilled that i was right about her previous behavior all being an act designed to put daniel off his guard , but i had to admit - if only to myself - that there was something a tad bit intimidating about her . maybe it was just the complete transformation from innocent young reporter to the hard-nosed journalist i now saw in front of me . `` well , that 's just fine . '' her lips were slightly pursed . `` i 'm going to write the story either way . i just thought it would be better to get it from the horse 's mouth , but i can fill in the blanks on my own . '' `` that sounds an awful lot like a threat , '' i said . she was peering over my shoulder , like she thought she was going to see him lurking behind me . `` oh , it 's not a threat at all , '' she said , finally retreating . `` it 's just a statement of fact . thank you very much for your cooperation , mrs . *** a few days passed , and i 'd almost forgotten about the encounter . so far , she was the only one who actually had the proverbial balls to come to the apartment . daniel 's phone had stopped ringing off the hook since he put his tech guys on the task of blocking the numbers of every single journalist he had in his contacts , which made things almost preternaturally calm . if i let my mind wander , i could almost forget for a moment that we were a household in crisis . as i walked into the living room one day , daniel actually looked up at me . that was either a good sign , or a bad sign . probably bad . `` you did n't tell me someone came here . '' the statement was vague enough that i could have played dumb , but there was n't any point . `` i did n't think it was worthwhile , '' i said . `` you were asleep and i was n't going to wake you up . he silently spun his computer around so i could see the screen . it was a gossip blog , an offshoot of one of the big papers . it was headed off with a giant picture of me , obviously snapped from the other side of the street while i was headed home from yoga . i looked like a complete mess , of course . underneath was the text - not long enough to qualify as an article , really , as i 'd suspected . but they still managed to spin it into something . i could n't bring myself to read the whole thing from top to bottom , but the words that jumped out at me were bad enough : ... disheveled and disgruntled , refusing to wake mr. thorne for a comment on the current events .

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then he settled next to her in bed once more and pulled her in close to him . `` do n't we have to leave ? '' my team will notify me when it 's safe . '' she stirred and frowned . `` are we safe here , just us ? '' she felt him smile against her neck . `` yes , soph , we 're safe . i would n't risk you or our baby . i 'll know if anyone steps within ten feet of our door . '' i did a lot while you were taking your bath . sleep now and do n't worry about anything . '' she sighed as some of the postcoital euphoria faded . it was hard not to worry when she faced so much uncertainty . she still had n't told him everything , and when he knew , he might not want anything to do with her . he hated her father , and if the apple did n't fall very far from the tree , she could n't imagine sam being overjoyed with spending time with her , loving her or allowing his child to be raised by a monster . fear churned in her stomach until she was sucking deep breaths through her nose to quiet the nausea . he could n't , he would n't take her child from her . nothing of the sort was going to happen . she just had to be careful , pick the right time and make sure her uncle never got close . and the last she could n't do without sam . chapter 17 sam woke to a warm , sweet body sprawled across him and a tiny pitter-patter thumping him in the side . it took him a moment to process that it was his child kicking him . he smiled and slid his hand down sophie 's spine , down to cup her plump little rear as he lay there soaking up the utter domesticity of the scene . his woman , limp and sated , draped across him in a possessive manner that gave him a ridiculous sense of satisfaction , and his child , waking him up with a tiny foot to his gut . if the little imp was anything like her mama , he was in for a hell of a ride . as he continued to caress her behind , she stirred and murmured something against his neck before burrowing deeper into his arms . `` shower , '' she muttered . but god , i do n't want to get up . '' he tightened his hold on her , content to stay just like this . he raised his hand from her hip to check his watch and then lazily trailed his fingers down to the cleft of her ass . chill bumps raced across her back , and he soothed them away with his palm . for a long moment , she lay there , the only sound her soft breathing against his neck . he 'd liked it five months ago and he liked it now . finally she shoved herself up , and her blond hair spilled over his chin . to his surprise , she leaned down and kissed him . it was n't a tentative brush but a hot , open-mouthed kiss that sent a surge of electricity through his body . she drew away , and her pupils dilated until there was only a thin ring of blue around the black . she laid her palm over his jaw and let her thumb glide across his lips . `` why 'd you tie me up before ? '' `` that time in the hotel . you tied me up . '' his chest shook as laughter escaped . maybe i 'm a kinky bastard . she seemed to think about it as she cocked her head to the side . he leaned up and kissed her quickly on the mouth . `` then maybe i 'll do it again sometime . '' her eyes widened and went even darker . oh yeah , she 'd liked it . the thing was , he did n't really know why he 'd done it . at the time he 'd wanted her completely at his mercy , and the idea of her tied to his bed had been a huge turn-on . not that he needed much encouragement around her . `` okay , i 'm really going to take a shower now , '' she said . she tried to push away , but he caught her against him and then rolled with her until he was over her , staring down into wide swirls of blue . his c*ck ached like a son of a bitch , and when she squirmed , the tip brushed through swollen , damp folds . he groaned and pushed , forcing his way through tight , liquid heat . she gasped and surged upward . `` oh fuck , '' he whispered . `` this is going to be quick . '' he thrust and felt his skin peel away , leaving him raw and exposed . he needed to be gentle , now of all times , when she was still sleepy and unprepared , but her channel hugged him , had a stranglehold on his cock . her nails scoured his back and then dug in . he thrust and rocked , and she opened her legs wider to take him . when she whispered his name in sweet , husky acceptance , he lost it . he came apart while she held him .

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there was one down by the creek where i grew up , and if i concentrated hard enough i could remember the exact feeling of the leaves brushing against my skin when i sat underneath it . my heart actually leapt into my throat , which was , quite frankly , embarrassing . i called out , my hand frozen in midair . `` maddy , can i come in ? '' it was lindsey . she came in and shut the door quietly behind her , walking in and sitting gingerly in the armchair by the window . i shrugged , staring at my drawing . the landscape needed a lot more detail , but ... `` it 's good that you 're drawing , '' she said , making a vague gesture towards the easel . i nodded , still only looking at her from the corner of my eye . `` i know it seems bad now , '' she continued , crossing and uncrossing her legs . `` but everything will get straightened out . the trick is to not let yourself get overwhelmed . do n't think too far into the future - let someone else handle that for you . danny 's been talking to his attorney . '' `` do n't worry , '' lindsey said . `` i 've met this one - i recommended her , actually . the thing about daniel is that he ... '' she considered her words for a moment . `` ... he does n't exactly have , uh , the gift of discernment . especially when it comes to people 's characters . i know it probably does n't seem like it , most of the time , but he trusts too easily . '' `` i guess i could see that , '' i replied , adding a few more branches to my tree . he had , after all , trusted me with a marriage of convenience when he hardly knew me at all . for a while , lindsey was quiet . when i finally met her eyes , i could tell she wanted very badly to say something , but she could n't quite bring herself to do it . it was n't like her to hold back . whatever it was , she must have an awfully good reason for not wanting to say it . and for once in my life , i was content to let sleeping dogs lie . *** daniel 's lawyer was a brusque middle-aged woman with short brown hair and - i imagined - an equally short temper . her mouth was set in a permanent frown . i did n't think i could stand to work with someone like that , but daniel seemed to appreciate her businesslike attitude . i 'd met her briefly a handful of times , but this was the first time she 'd been to the apartment . daniel had consulted with her already , a few days after the phone call , but it was going on a week now and brokerage had made next to no progress on their `` forensics . '' they 'd apparently decided to proceed with the case as if that evidence might never surface . on the plus side , several of daniel 's original key investors agreed to pour some more money into the company , enough to keep manufacturing going and prevent it from going into the red while this whole mess got sorted out . the lawyer , ms. greenlee , stayed for quite a while , going over paperwork with daniel and reviewing his options for going forward . she was recommending that he petition the judge to have his assets un-frozen , as a first order of business . despite the fact that it had been enacted very swiftly , she informed us that it might take several weeks for a reversal to process , so it was best to start it sooner rather than later . `` we need to establish that you 're not a flight risk , '' she said , sipping at a glass of water , eyeing daniel from over her half-moon reading glasses . `` that means you need to look calm at the hearing . you need to be assured of your own innocence and you need to meet his eyes and answer all his questions honestly . `` yes , '' he said , actually looking slightly cowed . come to think of it , i could actually appreciate this lawyer quite a bit . `` it 's very , very important that you keep your story straight , '' she said . `` i know - you did n't do it - but that does n't mean the facts wo n't change in your memory from time to time , and that will look like dishonesty to him . establish the facts and stick to them , do n't let yourself waver . '' daniel was nodding , scribbling in his little notepad . the lawyer shuffled her papers a bit . `` with someone of your means , there 's always that concern . that you 'll just head off somewhere and disappear . now , luckily , you 've got one thing going for you - despite your dual citizenship , canada would still extradite you at the drop of a hat , so you 've got no shelter there , and they know that . '' `` is there anything else i can do to make myself seem more stable ? '' `` well , the rest is pretty common sense - do n't book any plane tickets or boat charters or anything like that . ''

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one was a vampire , which is odd because i have n't seen a vampire in these parts in twenty years or more . but it seemed like they knew something about the pup to want him so much . `` i do n't know how i outran them , pure adrenaline is my guess . but i bunked down with a friend , and the next day i had wards put on the cave . now i ca n't take the pup outside to play , but as you can see , he 's been known to wander off if my attention strays . i put him in a cage at night or when i have to shower or something , but he figured out the latch . that 's how he ended up at your place . '' fiona looked horrified . `` you keep him locked in a cage ? '' it 's like a play pen that you put a baby in . he 's got toys and food and stuff . z pointed over to the corner where the cage sat . `` i 'm going to have to figure out a better way to lock it so we do n't have a repeat of today . '' fiona got up and went to the living area to take a better look at the cage , then turned back to z . `` you should also maybe do something about the sharp edges . '' he smiled , a brilliant , milk-commercial smile . i knew you were going to be beneficial . '' her lips curved downward at his justification for kidnapping , but she was intrigued by the fact that z was playing the role of surrogate father . if he 'd take a child not of his species in and care for it , he could n't be too bad a guy . `` i need to go back out , though . i 'm sure they 'll have something at the hardware store i can use to secure him . can you watch him while i 'm gone ? '' he pulled the black t-shirt over his head . `` are you going to drug me again when you get back ? '' z rolled his eyes . `` do n't be goofy . i know you are n't going anywhere . '' `` that 's the big bad outside out there . i do n't need a lock to keep you in . '' fiona shot him a glare . what he said was true , but it still pissed her off that he was so smug about it . there were legitimate things to fear out there , especially with her gift . inside was safer . the panther could think she was crazy all he wanted , but he did n't have to live her life or avoid the dangers that she did . and since he could defend himself without spell books and fifteen minutes of prep time , he had no right to judge her . `` so , now that you 're here , will you help me ? '' despite his semi-evil behavior , his warm brown eyes sort of made her brain go all fuzzy . he could ask her for almost anything , and it would be hard to say no - especially given that she was already here , and it was easier just to stay at this point . is there anything you need from town ? '' fiona shook her head , not being able to think of anything at the moment . she watched him slip through the opening in the cave and out into the big bad outside . she followed his path as he disappeared from view . he 'd obviously done work on the stone , as the opening was n't a natural one . from the main den , there was a narrow hallway that opened to the outside . the opening was covered by some large , natural plant life that grew in the hard earth next to it . climbing down looked treacherous , but it was no more than a couple of stories to the ground . she imagined someone walking by would never guess there was a cave in the rock . well , except for the fireplace , but fiona guessed the chimney had been made to blend as well . she watched z maneuver himself down to the ground and shuddered to think how he 'd gotten her up there while she was unconscious . perhaps he 'd had help from the doctor . once he reached the ground , he pushed back a large stone to reveal another hewn-out piece of rock large enough to house his motorcycle . he replaced the stone and pushed the bike through the trees . the pup 's cold , wet nose pressed under her elbow . he looked in the direction z had gone , his tail flapping fifty times a second . you get out the door , and i ca n't chase you . '' saying it out loud sounded and felt ridiculous , and once again she was reminded of what a silly and debilitating phobia she had . would she leave the pup to get hurt or be taken because she could n't face going out into the forest ? *** once z cleared the trees , he put on speed . he wanted to get fiona out of his mind , and there was nothing like the wind in his hair from a fast ride to clear his head .

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`` absolutely not , you fiend ! '' she grinned , snatching the box away from him and keeping it out of his reach . once again she looked inside at the filigree pendant and matching earrings , each with a bold sapphire in its center . `` i thought you might like to wear them this evening , '' he told her . `` they 'll bring out the color of your eyes . '' michael barely refrained from rolling his eyes-at himself . when had he ever churned out such romantic drivel before ? she 'd turned him from a carefree womanizer into a lovesick puppy in no time at all . `` thank you , '' she said on a whisper of breath . `` i 'll cherish them forever . '' and then she reached for him , her hand curling about his neck and pulling him ever so gently toward her . michael felt his heart stop . or was it beating so fast that he could no longer feel it ? either way , he was quite certain that he was about to expire from anticipation . she was about to kiss him and as far as he could tell , she was n't aiming for his cheek . no , this would be a proper kiss-the first of its kind since they 'd been caught by ryan . he sucked in a breath at the very moment that her lips touched his . it was as if an explosion of energy burst through him at that very point of contact . alexandra began to pull away , but michael was n't about to end their intimate encounter , this gift that she 'd bestowed upon him , so swiftly . with lightening speed his arms were about her , pressing her against him as he crushed her lips with his own . she stiffened , no doubt uncertain , but desire must have finally won her over . at any rate , she clung to him with an almost desperate hunger , as if she planned to gobble him up alive . it thrilled him to no end , filling him with a feverish need of his own . he brushed her lips with the tip of his tongue , begging for entry , and was quickly rewarded with her surrender . `` god , alex , '' he murmured against her mouth . he knew he was hard for her . hell , he could feel himself straining against the seam of his breeches . if only they could ... no , he must n't think of it . but it was of the utmost importance that they return to england as soon as possible so that they could get married and end this madness once and for all . how he hoped to survive that long , god only knew , but she was a lady after all-not some hussy he could simply take for a tumble . he had to stop himself from thinking along those lines . releasing her swollen lips , he set his mouth against her neck , licking ever so gently while she shuddered and moaned in response . oh , there was no doubt about what she wanted . her eyes were glazed over , her skin pink from blushing and her n**ples were impossible to ignore as they puckered beneath her nightgown . he pulled her against him in a tight embrace , his hands steadying her as he leaned into her . oh god , if you only knew how much i want you . '' she whimpered slightly at the sound of his words . `` my blood 's on fire ... please tell me you feel the same way . '' her breath came raggedly as if it was almost too difficult for her to speak . `` what you did before ... the way you touched me ... i ca n't get it out of my mind . i find myself wanting more . but not with just anyone , michael . with you ... only with you . '' her honesty almost undid him . he took a deep breath , inhaling her sweetness before drawing away from her . `` we have to wait , '' he told her in an even tone that spoke of monumental restraint on his part . `` this is not the proper time or place for this , and i 've already insulted your brother once . but once we 're back in england and married , you have my word that i 'll indulge you as often as you please . '' she nodded , her disappointment evident upon her face , and he 'd never felt more frustrated in his life . there was some measure of consolation to be had however . that much had just been made abundantly clear . she might not care about him the way he cared about her , but she wanted him . chapter sixteen that evening , michael and ryan waited in the parlor for alexandra to appear . `` i do n't understand why it 's taking so long , '' michael muttered . `` you and i have to share mr. bell between us , yet we managed to be ready half an hour ago . '' `` you of all people ought to know how long it takes a woman to ready herself for a ball with as many sisters as you have . '' but that does n't mean i understand it . ''

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he ignored the looks and questions of others as he made his way through the hall to the stairs . he warded off his own men , determined not to stop until genevieve was well out of the sight of others . when taliesan met him at his chamber door , her face stricken with worry , he gruffly told her to be off and to ensure no one came to his chamber door . he knew the lass was only concerned about genevieve , but he also knew that genevieve would want to be away from the prying eyes of others , and he would fulfill that wish above all else . as soon as he shouldered his chamber door closed , he placed genevieve on his bed and seated himself at her side . he touched her swollen bottom lip and thumbed away a smear of blood . the fresh wave of tears nearly slayed him . 't was true enough he was a disaster around female tears . they made him feel helpless to fix whatever was the matter , and god only knew he 'd do anything to remedy a lass in distress . her lips trembled and her voice was a near-whisper , so that he had to strain to hear her . `` naught that has not been done before . '' as if she were resigned to her fate . it only infuriated him all the more . he wanted to go kill the bastard all over again . his death had not been long or painful enough . his fingers curled into tight fists as he sought to control the rage working within him . `` you 'll not suffer such again , '' he said fiercely . `` i vow it , genevieve . you will never be made to give anything but what you choose to give freely . '' she turned her face away , but not before he saw a silver trail of tears leak from her eyes . he lowered his head and pressed his lips to her temple . `` i am sorry i was not there sooner . '' she turned , her eyes a wash of vibrant green , shiny with moisture and a silent plea . `` will you ... '' she bit her lip and stifled whatever it was she was going to ask . he touched a finger to her unmarred cheek and let it trail downward in a comforting caress . `` what is it you ask , lass ? you have to know if 't is within my power i 'll do it for you . '' faint color suffused her cheeks , and she looked suddenly nervous . instead of answering , he leaned forward , rolling onto his side next to her . he gathered her in his arms and pulled her in tight to his chest . he stroked her hair and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. `` 't is the truth i 'd like nothing more . '' she burrowed further into his chest as if seeking the warmth and comfort he offered . she clung tightly to him , and he was just as content to hold her just as tightly in return . for the longest time , he lay there with her in his arms , her head tucked underneath his chin . her breathing slowed and she seemed to relax , the tension and fear leaving tightly coiled muscles . he knew there was still the matter of her injuries to attend to , but he was loath to break the intimacy that had bloomed between them . no matter what the lass may have done in the past , he could not bring himself to hold any of it against her . she had done what was available to her in an effort to free herself from the reality of rape and abuse . he 'd consign no lass in such a situation to punishment or retribution . it pained him to imagine his own sister , rorie , in such a predicament . he 'd hope that any woman in genevieve 's position would be resourceful enough to think of a way out , just as she 'd done . even if the result had been eveline 's being abducted and terrorized . it was still an issue . mayhap not for him , as his mind was already made up where the lass was concerned . but there was the problem of graeme and the armstrongs , neither of whom would have any love for genevieve when it was revealed what she 'd done . but he 'd not leave her to fight this battle alone . it may cause him a great deal of trouble with his kin and the newly forged alliance with the armstrongs , but he 'd not leave genevieve to suffer alone . she deserved a champion when one had long been denied . there was no one to stand up for the lass . he stroked the soft tresses of her hair as tenderness overcame him . it pained him to imagine what her existence had been for the last year , but if he had any say in the matter , she 'd never suffer such again . regardless of the consequences for him . chapter 25 bowen 's head came up as a loud knock sounded at his door . genevieve stiffened and pulled away , her eyes wary .

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peter must have turned off her alarm because the next thing carol knew it was eight-thirty . sitting up , she waited for an attack of nausea . she 'd slept without waking even once . she was astonished that she had n't heard peter roaming about . he was usually as noisy as a herd of rampaging buffalo . perhaps he 'd overslept as well . in case he had , she threw the sheets back , sat on the edge of the bed and shoved her feet into slippers before wandering into the kitchen . the minute she stepped inside , it was obvious that her son had been up and about . a box of cold cereal stood in the middle of the kitchen table , along with a bowl half-filled with milk and crusts from several pieces of toast . posted on the refrigerator door was a note from peter , informing her that he 'd phoned the hospital and talked to her supervisor , who 'd said carol did n't need to worry about coming in . he proudly added that he 'd made his own lunch and that he 'd find a ride home from track practice , so she should stay in bed and drink lots of fluids . in a brief postscript he casually mentioned that he 'd also called grandma pasquale . carol 's groan had little to do with the way she was feeling . all she needed was her mother , bless her heart , hovering over her and driving her slowly but surely crazy . no sooner had the thought formed in her mind than the doorbell chimed , followed by a key turning in the lock and the front door flying open . her mother burst into the house as though carol lay on her deathbed . `` carol , '' she cried , walking through the living room . `` i 'm feeling much better , mama . '' get back in bed before the undertaker gets wind of how you look . '' `` ma , please , i 'm just a little under the weather . '' `` that 's what my uncle giuseppe said when he had the flu , god rest his soul . his wife never even got the chicken stewed , he went that fast . '' she pressed her hands together , raised her eyes to the ceiling and murmured a silent prayer . `` peter should n't have phoned you , '' carol grumbled . she certainly did n't need her mother fussing at her bedside , spooning chicken soup down her throat every time she opened her mouth . `` peter did the right thing . at the moment carol considered that point debatable . `` now back to bed before you get a dizzy spell . '' her mother made a shooing motion with her hands . mumbling under her breath , carol did as angelina insisted . not because she felt especially ill , but because arguing required too much energy . carol might as well try to talk her mother into using canned spaghetti sauce as convince her she was n't on her deathbed . once carol was lying down , angelina dragged the rocking chair into her bedroom and sat down . before another minute had passed , she was busy with her knitting . several balls of yarn were lying at her feet in case she wanted to start a second or third project in the next few hours . `` according to peter you were sick in the middle of the night , '' angelina said . eyes narrowed , she studied carol , as if staring would reveal the exact nature of her daughter 's illness . she shook her head , then paused to count the neat row of stitches before glancing back at carol , clearly expecting an answer . `` it must 've been something i ate for dinner , '' she suggested lamely . `` peter said you were looking at parts of a toilet no one should see that close up . '' her teenage son certainly had a way with words . `` i 'm feeling better , '' she said weakly . `` your face is paler than bleached sheets . uncle giuseppe has more color than you , and he 's been in his grave for thirty years . '' carol leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes . she might be able to fool just about anyone else , but her mother knew her too well . angelina said not a word , patient to a fault . yes , her mother knew ; carol was sure of it . she kept her eyes closed , afraid that another searching look would reveal everything . oh , what the heck , angelina would find out sooner or later . `` alex asked me to marry him last night . '' carol tried to keep her voice even , but it shook noticeably . `` ah , '' her mother said , nodding . from the time you were a little girl , you got an upset stomach whenever something troubled you , although why you should be troubled when this man tells you he loves you is a whole other question . '' carol did n't need to hear stories from her childhood to recognize the truth . `` so what did you say to him ? ''

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pushing my typewriter aside , i rise to my feet and begin pacing in my small cabin . on the carpet , my own light footsteps are soundless and catlike . however , my ears are filled with the cacophony of mens boots smashing the thin layer of ice above the snow , again and again , in an offensive rhythm . i wish they would turn away and go back to their own homes ! i wish they would magically turn into tiny chipmunks , scurrying along on their business . i like chipmunks . from what i understand , they are quite adorable . as the male voices approach , i can begin to make out their wordsthey already sound rude and detestable , and not nearly as charming as chattering chipmunks . i swear , liam . if you made me come all the way out into the godforsaken boonies for nothing , im going to be pissed . i could have been relaxing at home with my girl this weekend . come on , owen ! you wanted a special candidate , and shes the one . but what if she doesnt agree to join the study ? asked the one called owen . why wouldnt she agree ? countered the man called liam . there are virtually zero health risks ! almost every blind person weve approached has been excited at the idea of being able to see again . there were a few hold-outs ... but they were nutcases . yeah , some of these patients with lca can be real wackos , owen said . being blind messes with their heads . my eyebrows knit together in a deep frown as i eavesdrop on this conversation . why did it have to be doctors ? could it not have been jehovahs witnesses or bible salesmen coming to knock on my door instead ? could it not have been girl scouts peddling cookies , or some disaster relief fund requesting donations ? anyone but doctors ! are there any people on the planet as two-faced as doctors ? they pretend to care about you , acting sweet and condescending , and as soon as your back is turned , they reveal that they are only self-interested . i havent had such a scowl on my face in a long time , and my muscles are already beginning to hurt . my name no longer matches the one on my records . lca , or lebers congenital amaurosis , is the disease i was born with , and it bothers me that these nosy physicians know about me and my medical history . a knock finally sounds at the door . im looking for helen . miss helen winters ? that is not my name anymore . i consider remaining quiet and pretending that i am not home , but they could come back later . it might be better to send them away with a definitive negative response to whatever offensive query they have for me . they probably just want to poke around inside my eyes and use me as a guinea pig . my father worked for pharmaceutical companies for years , and i know all about the unpleasant nature of such experiments . i knew a few kids with my disease when i was younger . many of their parents put them through dozens of stressful surgeries and failed research trials , to no avail . i was lucky that my parents saved me from all the heartache of hoping and being disappointed . asks the man again . sorry to intrude on you like this , unannounced . my name is dr. liam larson , and this is my partner dr. owen philips . we are currently leading a team conducting some clinical trials with groundbreaking gene therapy gene therapy ? i had not been planning to speak , but they caught me off-guard . my voice sounds strange and awkward ; i have not used it in so long . i am a bit embarrassed that my throat feels like a rusty instrument . were looking for candidates between the ages of 23-26 to test a modification to an existing drug that has shown great promise . if you agree to join this study , theres a chance that we might be able to give you the ability to see . would you like to open the door and let us tell you more about our research ? my mind has begun racing as i stand frozen and rooted to the spot . i place my fingers against my lips to keep from making any strange noises . i dont want to betray how i feel by breathing too erratically , so i try to clear my head and settle my nerves . i have read about recent gene therapy research conducted for my disease , and it was extremely fascinating . many people were able to regain their sight after the experiments , but there was no confirmation on whether it was permanent , or whether other problems would not arise . still , i feel an incredible rush of excitement , and my imagination runs away with me . what if i tried ? what if it worked , even for a few days ? what if i could see all the things i have never seen ? i could see my sister , whom everyone declares to be stunningly beautiful . i could see my father , and finally know what he looks like when he releases that bellow of deep , booming laughter .

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ashley climbed the rear entrance steps toward the only real home she 'd ever known while crickets chirped . at least the press could n't get too close to her in the gated backyard . she panned her flashlight around the lawn and did n't see anyone lurking in the bushes . rubbing a hand over the creamy colored clapboard , she thought of the hours she 'd spent developing the business with her sisters . a deep breath later , she pushed on the door . it stuck until an extra jolt of her shoulder nudged it loose . the acrid pall nearly choked her . who would have thought the smell could linger so long ? soot mingled in the air , hanging on the humidity like whispery spiderwebs . no doubt , even walking through her shop would be messy , so ashley tied her hair through itself into a loose slipknot . a quiver of dread fluttered to life . she squashed it before it could rob her of the drive she needed to face the damage . a soaked rug squished beneath her shoes as she padded down the hallway . pausing at her office , she tapped the door open , sighing to find all intact . a film of black residue smudged the surfaces of desks and shelves , but just as matthew had promised , no fire damage . she would come back to it later . first , she needed to confront the worst . each step bubbled gray water from beneath her shoes , the squelching sound weakly echoing memories of matthew 's leather loafers pounding down the hall as he 'd carried her . around the corner waited the main showroom . the horrid sense of helplessness returned , crawling between her shoulder blades like a persistent bug she could n't swat away . above all , ashley hated feeling powerless . she shook off the wasted emotion . time to take control and face the nightmare so she could wake up and get her life back . ashley plowed around the corner and into a broad male chest . she jumped back with a scream , slipping on the squishy rug . but it was n't the paparazzi . matthew filled the doorway . apparently she would be talking to him sooner than she 'd expected . `` hold on a minute , darlin ' . '' matthew gripped her shoulders , his voice rumbling into the silence . `` matthew , of course it 's you . '' shuddering with relief , she instinctively sagged against him-then stiffened defensively . he pulled her firmly against him anyway until she could only hear the steady thrum of his heart pulsing beneath her ear . his musky scent encircled her , insulating her from the fiery aftermath . her skin burned with a prickly sensation , almost painful . a rush of heat deep in the pit of her stomach made her long to melt against him , press her br**sts to his chest until the ache subsided , or exploded into something magnificent . ashley flatted her palms on his chest and shoved . matthew squished back a step , hands raised in surrender , his flashlight casting a dome of light . `` i saw you crossing the yard and i came in through the front . '' now that i can breathe . '' it was n't fair that she felt like death warmed over and he looked so damned good . even in khakis and a polo shirt , he rippled with power . still , she felt tired and cranky , and his appeal left her edgy and vulnerable . she did n't like it-and she still had to tell him they were engaged after all . `` you said you were coming to check out the damage . '' he absently scratched behind his ear , then stopped . `` i thought you could use some help . '' miffed with herself for losing her temper , ashley reined in her wayward emotions . she 'd never used anger to get her way before . she could n't see any reason to start now . must be nerves from what she had to tell him . she 'd wanted a good night 's sleep to brace herself , but so much for wishes . `` i apologize and you 're right , i did need to speak with you . we can talk while i do my walk-through of the place . '' for the first time since she 'd slammed into matthew , his poster-boy-perfect mask slid . hire a clean-up crew and spare yourself some heartache . '' `` i 'm not going to clean the place yet . actually , i ca n't until the insurance company completes its assessment . the whole room loomed like a black hole , void of color . boards over the window even kept out much of the streetlights from lending any relief to the drab grays . maybe she should have waited until morning after all and seen the place in the light of day . surely the dark made everything seem worse than it was . she 'd hosted so many beautiful pre-wedding events here in the past , imagining celebrating her own engagement someday . what a crummy , crummy way to get her wish .

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370], ["business", 383], ["sister", 400], ["sisters", 400], ["deep", 409], ["deeply", 409], ["breath", 416], ["breathest", 416], ["later", 422], ["push", 435], ["pushed", 435], ["door", 447], ["stick", 458], ["stickest", 458], ["stuck", 458], ["extra", 473], ["extras", 473], ["jolt", 478], ["jolted", 478], ["shoulder", 494], ["shouldered", 494], ["nudge", 501], ["nudges", 501], ["nudged", 501], ["loose", 510], ["looser", 510], ["acrid", 522], ["pall", 527], ["nearly", 534], ["choke", 541], ["choked", 541], ["smell", 580], ["smelt", 580], ["smellest", 580], ["linger", 593], ["lingered", 593], ["long", 601], ["longs", 601], ["soot", 608], ["sooted", 608], ["sooting", 608], ["mingle", 616], ["mingled", 616], ["air", 627], ["airs", 627], ["airing", 627], ["hung", 637], ["hang", 637], ["hangs", 637], ["hanging", 637], ["humidity", 653], ["like", 658], ["whispery", 667], ["doubt", 689], ["even", 696], ["evens", 696], ["walk", 704], ["walking", 704], ["shop", 721], ["messy", 736], ["messier", 736], ["tie", 753], ["tying", 753], ["tieing", 753], ["tied", 753], ["hair", 762], ["slipknot", 799], ["quiver", 810], ["quiverest", 810], ["dread", 819], ["flutter", 829], ["fluttering", 829], ["fluttered", 829], ["life", 837], ["lifes", 837], ["squash", 852], ["squashing", 852], ["squashed", 852], ["rob", 875], ["robs", 875], ["robbing", 875], ["drive", 892], ["need", 903], ["needest", 903], ["needed", 903], ["face", 911], ["damage", 922], ["damaging", 922], ["soak", 933], ["soaks", 933], ["soaked", 933], ["rug", 937], ["squish", 946], ["squishes", 946], ["squishest", 946], ["squishing", 946], ["squished", 946], ["beneath", 954], ["shoe", 964], ["shoed", 964], ["shoes", 964], ["pad", 978], ["padding", 978], ["padded", 978], ["hallway", 995], ["hallways", 995], ["pause", 1005], ["pausing", 1005], ["office", 1019], ["tap", 1032], ["tapped", 1032], ["open", 1046], ["sigh", 1056], ["sighest", 1056], ["sighing", 1056], ["find", 1064], ["intact", 1075], ["film", 1084], ["black", 1093], ["residue", 1101], ["residues", 1101], ["smudge", 1109], ["smudged", 1109], ["surface", 1122], ["surfaces", 1122], ["desk", 1131], ["desks", 1131], ["shelf", 1143], ["shelves", 1143], ["matthew", 1165], ["matthews", 1165], ["promise", 1178], ["promised", 1178], ["fire", 1188], ["come", 1212], ["back", 1217], ["first", 1237], ["firstest", 1237], ["confront", 1262], ["bad", 1272], ["worst", 1272], ["step", 1284], ["bubble", 1292], ["bubbled", 1292], ["gray", 1297], ["grays", 1297], ["water", 1303], ["sound", 1349], ["weakly", 1356], ["echo", 1364], ["echoed", 1364], ["echoing", 1364], ["memory", 1373], ["memories", 1373], ["leather", 1395], ["loafer", 1403], ["pound", 1412], ["pounding", 1412], ["hall", 1426], ["carry", 1443], ["carried", 1443], ["corner", 1467], ["wait", 1474], ["waitest", 1474], ["waited", 1474], ["main", 1483], ["showroom", 1492], ["horrid", 1505], ["sense", 1511], ["helplessness", 1527], ["return", 1536], ["returnest", 1536], ["returned", 1536], ["crawl", 1547], ["crawled", 1547], ["blade", 1575], ["blades", 1575], ["persistent", 1593], ["bug", 1597], ["bugged", 1597], ["swat", 1616], ["away", 1621], ["hate", 1648], ["hateed", 1648], ["hated", 1648], ["feel", 1656], ["feeling", 1656], ["powerless", 1666], ["shake", 1678], ["shook", 1678], ["waste", 1693], ["wasted", 1693], ["emotion", 1701], ["time", 1708], ["take", 1716], ["control", 1724], ["nightmare", 1747], ["nightmares", 1747], ["wake", 1765], ["wakes", 1765], ["woken", 1765], ["plow", 1806], ["plowed", 1806], ["broad", 1841], ["broads", 1841], ["male", 1846], ["males", 1846], ["chest", 1852], ["jump", 1865], ["jumps", 1865], ["jumped", 1865], ["scream", 1884], ["screams", 1884], ["slip", 1895], ["slipping", 1895], ["squishy", 1910], ["paparazzi", 1945], ["fill", 1962], ["fills", 1962], ["filled", 1962], ["doorway", 1974], ["apparently", 1987], ["talk", 2008], ["talking", 2008], ["soon", 2022], ["expect", 2043], ["expected", 2043], ["hold", 2053], ["minute", 2065], ["grip", 2097], ["shoulder", 2111], ["shouldered", 2111], ["shoulders", 2111], ["voice", 2123], ["rumble", 2132], ["rumbles", 2132], ["rumbling", 2132], ["silence", 2149], ["course", 2174], ["shudder", 2200], ["shuddering", 2200], ["shudderest", 2200], ["relief", 2212], ["reliefs", 2212], ["instinctively", 2232], ["sag", 2239], ["sagged", 2239], ["stiffen", 2266], ["stiffens", 2266], ["stiffened", 2266], ["defensively", 2278], ["pull", 2290], ["pulled", 2290], ["firmly", 2301], ["anyway", 2320], ["hear", 2346], ["hears", 2346], ["steady", 2357], ["thrum", 2363], ["heart", 2376], ["pulse", 2384], ["pulsing", 2384], ["ear", 2400], ["musky", 2412], ["scent", 2418], ["scentest", 2418], ["encircle", 2428], ["encircling", 2428], ["encircled", 2428], ["insulate", 2445], ["insulating", 2445], ["fiery", 2464], ["aftermath", 2474], ["aftermaths", 2474], ["skin", 2485], ["burn", 2492], ["burns", 2492], ["burned", 2492], ["prickly", 2507], ["sensation", 2517], ["almost", 2526], ["painful", 2534], ["rush", 2543], ["heat", 2551], ["heats", 2551], ["heated", 2551], ["pit", 2567], ["stomach", 2582], ["stomachs", 2582], ["stomaching", 2582], ["melt", 2604], ["meltest", 2604], ["ache", 2664], ["ached", 2664], ["subside", 2673], ["subsided", 2673], ["subsiding", 2673], ["explode", 2687], ["exploded", 2687], ["magnificent", 2714], ["flat", 2731], ["palm", 2741], ["palms", 2741], ["palmed", 2741], ["palmest", 2741], ["shove", 2765], ["shoved", 2765], ["hand", 2804], ["hands", 2804], ["raise", 2811], ["raised", 2811], ["surrender", 2824], ["surrenders", 2824], ["surrenderest", 2824], ["surrendering", 2824], ["cast", 2849], ["casts", 2849], ["casting", 2849], ["dome", 2856], ["domed", 2856], ["lit", 2865], ["light", 2865], ["see", 2876], ["saw", 2876], ["cross", 2889], ["crossing", 2889], ["yard", 2898], ["yards", 2898], ["come", 2909], ["came", 2909], ["front", 2930], ["breathes", 2958], ["fair", 2979], ["fairs", 2979], ["fairest", 2979], ["feel", 2993], ["felt", 2993], ["death", 3004], ["warm", 3011], ["warmed", 3011], ["look", 3030], ["looked", 3030], ["damn", 3040], ["damned", 3040], ["good", 3045], ["polo", 3073], ["shirt", 3079], ["ripple", 3092], ["ripples", 3092], ["rippled", 3092], ["power", 3103], ["still", 3111], ["tired", 3128], ["cranky", 3139], ["appeal", 3156], ["left", 3161], ["leave", 3161], ["edgy", 3170], ["vulnerable", 3185], ["tell", 3233], ["engage", 3255], ["engaged", 3255], ["say", 3279], ["sayest", 3279], ["said", 3279], ["come", 3295], ["coming", 3295], ["check", 3304], ["absently", 3336], ["scratch", 3346], ["scratched", 3346], ["scratching", 3346], ["behind", 3353], ["stop", 3376], ["stopped", 3376], ["use", 3405], ["help", 3415], ["helpest", 3415], ["miff", 3427], ["miffed", 3427], ["lose", 3451], ["losing", 3451], ["temper", 3462], ["rein", 3478], ["wayward", 3493], ["emotion", 3502], ["emotions", 3502], ["never", 3517], ["use", 3522], ["used", 3522], ["anger", 3528], ["way", 3543], ["ways", 3543], ["reason", 3581], ["reasonest", 3581], ["start", 3590], ["must", 3601], ["musts", 3601], ["nerve", 3611], ["nerves", 3611], ["night", 3670], ["slept", 3679], ["sleep", 3679], ["sleeps", 3679], ["sleepest", 3679], ["brace", 3688], ["braced", 3688], ["much", 3710], ["wish", 3721], ["wishes", 3721], ["apologize", 3738], ["right", 3756], ["rightest", 3756], ["need", 3769], ["needest", 3769], ["speak", 3778], ["spoken", 3778], ["talk", 3801], ["walk", 3820], ["place", 3841], ["since", 3871], ["slam", 3886], ["slammed", 3886], ["poster", 3912], ["boy", 3916], ["perfect", 3924], ["perfectest", 3924], ["mask", 3929], ["maskest", 3929], ["slid", 3934], ["hire", 3941], ["clean", 3949], ["cleans", 3949], ["crew", 3957], ["spare", 3967], ["heartache", 3991], ["go", 4014], ["goest", 4014], ["going", 4014], ["yet", 4037], ["ca", 4055], ["cas", 4055], ["insurance", 4079], ["company", 4087], ["companys", 4087], ["companying", 4087], ["complete", 4097], ["completes", 4097], ["assessment", 4112], ["whole", 4124], ["wholes", 4124], ["room", 4129], ["roomed", 4129], ["loom", 4136], ["loomed", 4136], ["hole", 4154], ["void", 4161], ["color", 4170], ["board", 4179], ["boarding", 4179], ["boards", 4179], ["window", 4195], ["windows", 4195], ["keep", 4205], ["keepest", 4205], ["kept", 4205], ["streetlight", 4234], ["streetlights", 4234], ["lend", 4247], ["drab", 4270], ["drabs", 4270], ["gray", 4276], ["grays", 4276], ["maybe", 4284], ["morning", 4321], ["see", 4340], ["seen", 4340], ["day", 4370], ["surely", 4379], ["dark", 4388], ["everything", 4404], ["seem", 4409], ["seeming", 4409], ["bad", 4415], ["worse", 4415], ["host", 4443], ["hosted", 4443], ["hostest", 4443], ["many", 4451], ["beautiful", 4461], ["beautifulest", 4461], ["pre", 4465], ["wedding", 4473], ["event", 4480], ["events", 4480], ["past", 4497], ["imagine", 4509], ["imagining", 4509], ["celebrate", 4521], ["celebrating", 4521], ["engagement", 4540], ["someday", 4548], ["crummy", 4564], ["wish", 4593]]

`` what are you looking for ! '' baz demanded again , snarling through his teeth like an animal . this was something simon had learned about baz in six years : he could turn from peevish to dangerous in half a heartbeat . but simon still had n't learned not to rise to the bait . `` rabbits ! '' `` i 'm looking for rabbits . '' baz looked confused , caught mid-snarl . `` six white hares . '' there are six white hares on school grounds , and they lead to something- '' `` to what ? '' `` and i do n't suppose , '' baz said , leaning against the pole , resting his forehead on the wood , `` that you know who sent it . '' simon wished he could stand and face baz without tipping the boat ; he hated the way baz was talking down to him . `` you really think that , '' baz scoffed , `` do n't you ? you really think that the only way to sort out whether something is dangerous it to barrel right into it . '' `` what else would you suggest ? '' `` you could ask your precious mage , for starters . you could run it past your swotty friend . her brain is so enormous , it pushes her ears out like a monkey's-maybe she could shed some light . '' simon yanked on baz 's cloak and made him lose his balance . `` do n't talk about penelope like that . '' the punt wobbled , and baz recovered his cool stance . have you talked to anyone ? '' `` six hares , is it ? '' `` how many have you found so far ? '' `` so you 've got the one in the cathedral and the one on the drawbridge- '' `` you know about the hare on the drawbridge ? '' simon sat back , startled . `` that took me three weeks to find . '' `` that does n't surprise me , '' baz said . `` you 're not very observant . do you even know my first name ? '' he started pushing them through the water again-pushing them toward the dock , simon hoped . `` it 's ... it begins with a t. '' `` it 's tyrannus , '' baz said . so the cathedral , the drawbridge , and the nursery- '' simon clambered to his feet , pulling himself up by baz 's cloak . the punt bobbed . `` the nursery ? '' baz lowered an eyebrow . this close , simon could see the purple bruises under baz 's eyes , the web of dark blood vessels in his eyelids . baz shrugged-practically shuddered-away from simon and out of the boat . simon jerked forward and grabbed a post on the dock to keep the boat from floating away . `` come on , '' baz said . cath realized that she 'd started doing simon and baz 's voices-at least doing the version of their voices that she heard in her head . she glanced over at levi to see if he 'd noticed . he was holding his cup with both hands against his chest and resting his chin on top , like it was keeping him warm . his eyes were open but unfocused . he looked like a little kid watching tv . cath turned back to her computer before he caught her watching him . it took longer to put the boat away than it had to get it out , and by the time it was tied up , simon 's hands were wet and freezing . they hurried back into the fortress , side by side , both of them pushing their fists into their pockets . baz was taller , but their strides matched exactly . simon wondered whether they 'd ever walked like this before . in six years-six years of always walking in the same direction-had they ever once fallen into step ? `` here , '' baz said , catching simon 's arm and stopping at a closed door . simon would have walked right past this door . he must have a thousand times-it was on the main floor , near the professors ' offices . baz tried the handle . he pulled his wand out of his pocket and started murmuring . the door came open suddenly , almost as if the knob were reaching for baz 's pale hand . baz just sneered and strode forward . the room was dark , but he could see that it was a place for children . there were toys and pillows , and train tracks that wound around the room in every direction . `` it 's the nursery , '' baz said in a hushed voice . as if children might be sleeping in the room right now . `` why does watford need a nursery ? '' `` it does n't , '' baz said . it 's too dangerous here now for children . but this used to be the place where the faculty brought their children while they worked . and other magical children could come , too , if they wanted to get an early start on their development . ''

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1137], ["yank", 1155], ["yanks", 1155], ["yanked", 1155], ["cloak", 1171], ["cloaks", 1171], ["lose", 1189], ["balance", 1201], ["talk", 1218], ["penelope", 1233], ["punt", 1257], ["wobble", 1265], ["wobbled", 1265], ["recover", 1285], ["recovered", 1285], ["cool", 1294], ["stance", 1301], ["talk", 1319], ["talked", 1319], ["anyone", 1329], ["many", 1372], ["find", 1387], ["found", 1387], ["far", 1394], ["get", 1417], ["got", 1417], ["cathedral", 1442], ["hare", 1503], ["drawbridge", 1521], ["sat", 1536], ["sit", 1536], ["back", 1541], ["take", 1567], ["took", 1567], ["three", 1576], ["week", 1582], ["weeks", 1582], ["find", 1590], ["surprise", 1621], ["surprised", 1621], ["observant", 1670], ["even", 1684], ["evens", 1684], ["first", 1698], ["firstest", 1698], ["name", 1703], ["start", 1719], ["started", 1719], ["push", 1727], ["pushing", 1727], ["water", 1750], ["toward", 1776], ["dock", 1785], ["hope", 1799], ["hoped", 1799], ["begin", 1824], ["begins", 1824], ["tyrannus", 1855], 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`` of course i agree ! '' with their attorneys present , they made decisions about a number of other issues , and sharon quickly wrote up an agreement . zach 's attorney reviewed it , and then both zach and rosie signed it . by the time she left the courthouse , rosie felt as if she 'd been pummeled by wave after wave in a stormy sea . strange as it seemed , her heart actually ached . for weeks she 'd dreaded this day and at the same time longed for it , just so the divorce would finally be over . now she was n't sure what she felt , other than this deep pain that threatened to overpower her . nine-year-old eddie was shooting baskets when rosie pulled into the driveway at 311 pelican court . in a little more than a month , school would start again . perhaps then their lives would return to some semblance of routine . eddie caught the basketball and held it against his side as he waited for her to park the car in the garage . his sad dark eyes watched rosie as he stepped aside so she could drive past . fifteen-year-old allison was in the kitchen , microwaving a hot dog for lunch . she turned and stared at rosie , eyes glittering defiantly . she resembled zach so much just then . eddie asked , following rosie into the kitchen . he continued to hold the basketball . the microwave beeped and allison removed the steaming wiener , devoid of a bun . as if it had suddenly lost its appeal , she set the plate on the countertop and studied rosie . `` there 's been a ... minor complication , '' rosie announced . she did n't believe in hiding the truth from her children , especially when it involved something that would affect them . eddie asked , pulling out a kitchen chair . he balanced the basketball on the table , one hand supporting it . allison crossed her arms and leaned against the counter , pretending to be bored ; still , she did n't leave the room as she so often did . with effort rosie managed to show a bit of enthusiasm for judge lockhart 's decree . `` well ... you guys wo n't be moving in and out of the house every few days , after all . '' allison and eddie shared a look of surprise . trying to sound positive , rosie explained judge lockhart 's decision and briefly outlined how the switch would work . `` you mean dad 's going to live here ? '' eddie asked as if he did n't quite understand . rosie did n't blame him for being confused . confused and irritated by this turn of events . add miserable to the mix , and it pretty much described the way she felt about life in general . `` your father will be at the house part-time , '' rosie said , so there would n't be any misunderstanding . she 'd agreed to turn what had been her sewing room into a spare bedroom for his use . the sewing machine could go in the master bedroom without a problem . `` oh , '' eddie said . he seemed disappointed , but then his eyes lit up as he realized he 'd have his father back , if only half the time . `` i think it 's cool ! '' `` i do n't , '' allison shouted . `` as far as i 'm concerned , this entire divorce is bogus . '' with that she stormed out of the kitchen . rosie watched her daughter go , wishing she knew how to reach her . she wanted to put her arms around allison and hug her and assure her that everything would be all right , but the girl would n't accept any kind of closeness . at least not from her ... `` do n't worry about allison , '' her nine-year-old said . `` she 's really glad about dad coming home , even if it 's only for a few days at a time , but she would n't let you know that for anything . '' two sweat dripped down grace sherman 's face , and the intense heat of the mid-july afternoon plastered her t-shirt to her skin . she dipped her roller in the tray and smoothly spread light-yellow paint across her bedroom wall . she was a librarian and , despite all the books she 'd taken out on home maintenance , she was n't much good at renovations and repairs . dan had always insisted on looking after the house . alone at age fifty-five , grace found that life continued to thrust her into unfamiliar and challenging situations . `` i hope you appreciate what a good friend i am , '' olivia lockhart said from behind her . she , too , worked at covering the dingy white walls with yellow paint . cautiously , olivia-her lifelong friend-moved around the furniture pushed into the middle of the bedroom , protected by old sheets . `` you volunteered , '' grace reminded her , using her forearm to wipe the perspiration from her brow .

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12 mary jo had n't intended to spill her heart to grace , but the older woman was so warm , so sympathetic . before long , she 'd related the whole sorry tale of how she 'd met and fallen in love with david rhodes . by the time mary jo finished , there was a pile of used tissues on the table . `` you are n't the only one who 's ever loved unwisely , my dear , '' grace assured her . `` i just feel really stupid . '' `` because you trusted a man unworthy of your love ? '' grace asked , shaking her head . `` the one who needs to be ashamed is david rhodes . '' `` he is n't , though . '' `` no , '' grace agreed . `` but let me repeat a wise old saying that has served me well through the years . '' she dabbed tears from the corners of her eyes and blew her nose . `` time wounds all heels , '' grace said with a knowing smile . `` it will with david , too . '' mary jo laughed . `` i guess the reverse is true , as well . i 'll get over david and his lies ... . '' her voice trailed off ... . `` is everyone in cedar cove as nice as you and cliff ? '' the question seemed to surprise grace . `` olivia-ms. griffin-certainly is . '' mary jo sighed and looked down at her hands . `` that firefighter-what 's his name again ? '' `` mack mcafee . he 's new to town . '' what mary jo particularly remembered was that he had the gentlest touch and the most reassuring voice . she could still hear it if she closed her eyes . the way he 'd knelt at her side and the protectiveness of his manner had calmed her , physically and emotionally . `` his parents live in town , '' grace was explaining . `` roy mcafee is a retired seattle detective turned private investigator , and his wife , corrie , works in his office . '' she recalled seeing mr. mcafee 's sign on harbor street . what a fascinating profession . she suspected mack 's father got some really interesting cases . maybe not , though , especially in such a small town . maybe she was just influenced by the mystery novels she loved and the shows she watched on television . `` i suppose i should change clothes before dinner , '' grace said , rising from her chair with seeming reluctance . `` i 've enjoyed sitting here chatting with you . '' `` me , too , '' mary jo told her . it 'd been the most relaxing part of her day-except , of course , for her nap . mary jo figured this was her signal to leave . `` i 'll go to the apartment . '' i know mack said you should rest , but cliff and i would really like it if you joined our family for dinner . '' `` where is cliff ? '' she asked , glancing over one shoulder , assuming he must be somewhere within sight . `` he 's out with his horses . they 're his first love . '' grace smiled as she said it . mary jo had noticed the way cliff regarded his wife . he plainly adored grace and it was equally obvious that she felt the same about him . mary jo gathered they 'd only been married a year or two . the wedding picture on the piano looked recent , and it was clear that their adult children were from earlier marriages . then , without allowing herself to consider the appropriateness of her question , mary jo said , `` about what you said a few minutes ago ... have you ever loved unwisely ? '' grace sat down again . `` i married young and then , after many years together , i was widowed . i 'd just started dating again . it was a whole new world to me . '' `` were you seeing cliff ? '' he 'd been divorced for years and dating was a new experience for him , too . i 'd been married to dan for over thirty years , and when another man-besides cliff-paid attention to me , i was flattered . it was someone i 'd had a crush on in high school . '' `` did cliff know about him ? '' you see , this other man lived in another city and we e-mailed back and forth , and he became my obsession . '' grace 's mouth tightened . `` i knew all along that he was married and yet i allowed our internet romance to continue . he said he was getting a divorce . '' `` it was a lie ? '' `` oh , yes , but i believed him because i wanted to . and then i learned the truth . '' `` did cliff find out about this other man ? '' `` yes-and as soon as he did , he broke off our relationship . '' you nearly lost cliff ? '' `` as i said , i 'd learned the truth about will by then and was crushed to lose cliff over him . i was angry with myself for being so gullible and naive . i 'd lost a wonderful man because of my foolishness .

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but that didnt last long . at last i pulled away . * * * i could always tell when shaun was up to something . his grin gave him away . he showed up one thursday night at my apartment . come on , harleigh . didnt you already ask me that ? and i didnt get an answer . come on , were gon na be late . he was practically pulling me out the door . it wasnt until we were both in his truck driving toward town that i asked again . so can you tell me now ? well , youre always talking about how you want to meet my friends from work , right ? and you never let me meet them . well , tonight is your lucky night . its their bowling night . youre taking me bowling ? dont you remember what happened the last time we went bowling ? i cremated you . i destroyed you . you only bowled a 53 . and now youre going to take me bowling in front of your friends ? i think you dreamed that up , harleigh . you know it happened . i have no recollection of it . then ill just have to give you a reminder tonight . * * * i held the cup of orange juice for him so he could sip out of the straw . shaun , ive been thinking . youre not supposed to think . ive been thinking that once you get checked out of this place , you should move in with me . well , i could keep an eye on you . and mike wouldnt be far away either . and its kind of the next logical step , isnt it ? the next logical step of what ? i walked toward the window so he couldnt see my face . i mean we practically live together anyway . why not just make it official ? harleigh , stop . i want you to come live with me . shaun no , harleigh , you dont have to take care of me . mike already said he wants me to move in for a while with him . i walked over to the bed and took his hand . shaun , im not talking for a while . im talking for good . * * * rose and i were driving home from doing some weekend shopping . rose , i think im going crazy . im pretty sure you arent going crazy . look at what i bought . i pulled out the bridal magazine . he asked you and you didnt tell me ? no , he hasnt asked me . thats why im crazy . he probably hasnt even thought about it . harleigh , i seriously doubt that . you think hes thought about it ? i know hes thought about it . * * * mike and i were at shauns apartment , starting to pack up some of his things to start moving them into my place . i couldnt believe we were going to do this . i couldnt believe we had waited this long . i was in the bedroom , and i could hear mikes voice coming from the living room . now , harleigh , remember im just gon na be a couple doors away if you guys need anything . we dont even have him home yet . but when you do when i do , im gon na give you a key so you can come over whenever you want . i know youre going to take good care of my brother . im gon na try my best . i had finished packing the clothes in shauns dresser and closet . i started to clean out his desk . in his top drawer , i saw it : a little black jewelry box . i knew i shouldnt open it . and there it was , the ring , my engagement ring . harleigh i kept crying . harleigh mikes voice was now in the bedroom . he took the ring out of my hand . i dont think you were supposed to find this . lets just pretend you didnt see this , ok ? he was going to propose to me ? he was going yeah , harleigh , he was . and i told him i couldnt even imagine marrying him . harleigh he was going to propose to me , mike , and i ... mike took me in his arms and let me cry . * * * i was on the phone with drew . he was having relationship problems with beth again . it seemed like they were fighting more than they werent . shes so into commitment , harleigh , and that scares me . maybe its a guy thing or something . why are you with her then ? i like spending time with her , you know ? yeah , but i dont have sex like that with my other friends . drew sorry . its just all physical for me right now , but she wants more . you should want something more for yourself whether its with beth or someone else . youre so lucky to have what you have with shaun . youll find someone , drew . im giving up . because thats what i told myself after i broke up with ron . yeah , look at you now . way to make me feel better , little sister . * * * it had been building up in me .

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plating everything onto the first dish he found in the cabinet , he tossed on a banana from the counter , grabbed a couple of forks , and poured them each a glass of juice . as he made his way down the hall , he heard rachel stirring . val darted to his mistress , and by the time decker entered the bedroom , she was cuddling with the little fur ball . she looked up at decker with sleepy dark eyes and rosy cheeks . a little smile played at her lips . barely concealed by the sheet , rachel looked a bit rumpled and a lot sated . she was probably the most beautiful woman he 'd seen , not because she was perfect or belonged in a magazine . because he had put that look on her face . because she looked like his . oh fuck , he was in deep . i did my very best to make it edible , too . '' `` you mean it wo n't taste like something the school cafeteria sells ? '' it might be worse , since i do n't really cook . but i get points for effort , right ? '' she smiled at him , looking really happy . and what did it say that seeing that expression on her face gratified him ? i can trade those points in on ... favors , ca n't i ? '' she flirted coyly from under her lashes . he set the plate on her nightstand and bent to nuzzle her neck . `` hmm , suck your n**ples like candy . or spend lunch between your legs . feeling your mouth all around my cock ? i know , how about spending the afternoon inside you . '' `` for that , i 'll give you lots of points . '' then she shifted her gaze away . `` i 'd love for you to spend a little more time with me if you 've got it . decker kissed her cheek and handed her the plate . here 's where he had to lie to rachel again . and f**k all if he did n't hate that . it was her life , after all . but he hated to take away her upbeat attitude about the world . he did n't want to be the one to make her afraid . his role was to protect her , shelter her . he might not be mr. happily-ever-after , but by damned , keeping her safe and unaware of the danger was a job he could do well . `` i 'd love to , beautiful . in fact , i 'd love to spend a lot more time with you today , especially since you probably have to return to work tomorrow . '' if he had n't managed to solve this by tomorrow morning , no f**king way was she stepping foot outside this house without him . he 'd think of something to keep her near him . `` actually , i 've got next week off for fall break . i 've been looking forward to this time to finish unpacking my boxes and get my garden ready for the winter before the weather turns cold . i have a feeling this florida girl might find the chillier winter here a bit of a shock . '' she popped a bite of egg into her mouth and moaned . `` i do n't even know if this is good , but i 'm so hungry , i 'll say it 's delicious . he plopped down beside her , relieved as hell . she was off for another week . with any luck , he 'd have this wrapped up pronto . after that ... well , he 'd have to decide what came next . somehow , he did n't picture wanting to walk away from her . which meant that someday he was going to have to come clean about his lies and pray she did n't hate him . plucking the toast off the plate , he took a bite and washed it down with juice . the shit was n't half bad . nice to know he had n't poisoned her with his lousy cooking . he hoped his next lie went over half as well ... `` well , as soon as i move my stuff from the santiagos 's place into a motel , i 'll come back and take you to dinner . `` why are n't you going to stay with your friends ? '' `` they 're newlyweds , and i 'm in their way . i need to find a place of my own since it looks like they might put roots down here for a while . while i look , there 's a motel down the road ... '' he rattled off the name of a flea-infested , rent-by-the-hour place he 'd passed a few times . rachel looked appropriately horrified . `` that 's murder central . i have n't been in lafayette that long , but it 's mentioned all the time on the news . lots of body bags . '' `` why not somewhere else ? there are much better places ... '' `` if there 's a bed and a shower , that 's all that matters to me . it 's just for a few days , tops . '' biting her lip , rachel looked at him uncertainly . `` why do n't you stay with me until then ?

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for a few seconds aleksandr did n't trust himself to speak . her pain was closer to the surface than ever before , almost visible beneath the facade she 'd erected . `` i 'm never too busy for you , ms. conrad , '' he said , bowing his head slightly . her features seemed perfect to him , her beauty so flawless it was chilling . he noted that her creamy skin was flushed but her eyes dark and clear as they studied him with equal interest . `` i thought it might be a good idea if we talked , '' she suggested haltingly . `` about my work ? '' not answering , she stood and moved away from him , carefully placing herself in the shadows where it was more difficult to read her expression . `` tell me how your experiments are progressing , '' she said , her hands clasped behind her back . he sensed her reserve-and her tension . aleksandr was well aware from the notes he 'd received from her that julia had read and understood his weekly reports . nevertheless he humored her . the additives he 'd been working on for conrad paints had impressive capabilities . his first innovation had been a simple one . once an exterior surface was painted , if the owner wished a different color at some later date , all he or she needed to do was wash the surface with another solution , one that would be available only through conrad industries . it was an approach that would work on homes , cars and lawn furniture . his second innovation had been just as successful so far . he 'd developed a blend of chemicals that , when applied to a surface , would completely remove the old paint . no more scraping or heating it . a spray of the solution would dissolve it away with a minimum of effort , without harmful effects or harsh chemicals to damage the environment . aleksandr gave julia a detailed description of his most recent experiments . he regretted that he would n't be with conrad industries to see his work come to fruition , but there was nothing more he could do . he was sorry to be leaving america , especially since there was still such poverty and upheaval in his homeland . he paused , awaiting her response . `` you 're very close , then . '' `` within a few months , '' he guessed . her brows arched with what he assumed was surprise and delight . both emotions quickly left her expression as she looked away . her eyes avoided his , and aleksandr wondered privately how many hearts she 'd broken . she held herself distant , the unattainable prize of many a man , the untouchable dream of loveliness . she spoke with a casual familiarity , although as far as he could recall , it was the first time she 'd addressed him by his first name . `` we have a problem ... as you know . '' she moved toward him , her eyes wide , and when she spoke again it was in a whisper . `` we 're too close to lose everything now . i ca n't let it happen . my brother ... came up with a solution . '' aleksandr 's mind churned with confusion . she could n't possibly be considering jerry 's suggestion that they get married , could she ? only a day earlier she 'd scoffed at her brother for even mentioning something so preposterous . alek had n't been given a chance to comment . `` i 've been thinking about jerry 's idea , '' she continued demurely , glancing over her shoulder at him as she returned to her desk . `` it seems marriage is our only solution . '' aleksandr was n't fooled by her demeanor ; there was n't a shy , retiring bone in that delectable body of hers . julia conrad was too proud and stubborn to play the role well . but there was no limit to her determination . `` of course you 'd be well compensated for your ... contribution to conrad industries . even more than we 're currently paying you . we 'd be happy to double your salary . naturally it would n't be a real marriage , and when you 've finished with your work , we 'd obtain a quiet divorce . if you 're agreeable , i 'll have jerry draw up a prenuptial agreement for us to sign . '' aleksandr was convinced that if there 'd been any other way to solve the problem , julia would have opted for it . she was offering him a pretend marriage , followed by a discreet divorce . he frowned , disliking the fact that she was trying to bribe him with money . his wages were already far beyond what he could ever hope to make in russia . much of what he earned now he sent to his family , while he lived as frugally as possible . `` i understand there are several members of your family still in russia , '' she said cautiously . `` we might be able to help them immigrate to the states if we did decide to go ahead with this marriage . ''

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he 'd never been in this position , on the outside , practically begging to be let in . kinley stepped up behind law , peering out from behind his back . `` are you sorry you kidnapped me ? '' if i had n't , you would n't be here . i 'd be a lot sorrier about that . i think you would , too . '' `` are you sorry that your dog raped mine ? '' he was n't about to take that . `` no , your dog led mine into sin . he has a thing for bows . she used it against him . '' he caught the faintest hint of a smile from her . `` i 'll admit , she 's a flirty thing . so if you 're not apologizing for kidnapping me or very likely turning my dog into a single mother , what are you sorry about ? '' `` for being rude to you . '' `` well , it 's probably rude to offer sex in exchange for putting away a dangerous criminal . i 've already told law that i 'll help out . i 'll give you everything i know . '' kinley curled her arms around his buddy 's torso as though she found comfort in being close to him . they were already bonding as a dom and sub should . and dominic almost choked , wondering if he was too late . he wanted to worry about her , be responsible for her . comfort and care for and pleasure her . he and law should be a team when it came to kinley . god , how good was this woman ? law had a shit-eating grin on his face . `` baby , i think he 's sorry about a whole lot of other things . '' `` i 'm not going to make him beg . i forgive him and i hope we can be friends . '' `` i think that 's what he 's most sorry about , '' law explained . `` he 's really f**king sorry he 's on the wrong side of this door . he wants in and he 's not sure how to ask since he 's never had to . '' kinley stared at him , her eyes wide , her lips parted . he wanted to kiss her desperately . `` do you truly want to come in , dominic ? '' i want to give you the knowledge you asked for . i want to teach you what it means to submit to a man , to trust him enough to place your body and your pleasure in his hands . i want to help show you just how high you can soar . and i want to share you with law and riley , though riley might not come around . even if he does n't , i want to be a part of your training , kinley . for as long as we 're here , i want to be your master . '' `` i had n't exactly hit her with the kinky stuff yet , dominic . let 's start with sex before we get to the spankings . '' he could wait until tomorrow to tie her up as long as he was in her bed tonight . `` i want in , kinley . she shared a glance with law , then stepped back . for a second , he thought she would decline . then she opened the door wider . law eased away , allowing dominic to enter the room . he stared at the woman he wanted more than his next breath . `` call me 'sir , ' kinley . '' with gnawing hunger and hope , he reached for her hand , ready to start her lesson and see where their future led . chapter ten kinley took dominic 's hand , her heart thumping in her chest . `` it 's a quirk of mine , pet . '' he stood over her , looking down into her eyes as he tangled his fingers in her hair . law moved in behind her , his chest brushing her back . the thick line of his erection pressed against her backside . you 're better with the whole talking thing than i am . i was struggling with how to explain what we want . '' they wanted sex , right ? kinley knew what she wanted-to be right where she was , crowded by them . they took all the space surrounding her , as they enclosed her , protected her , covered every inch of her skin with theirs . she reveled in the sensation . law 's hand cracked against her bottom . a sharp pain flared across kinley 's butt . `` damn , those little rhinestones are hell on a man 's hand , '' he complained . she whipped her gaze over her shoulder and blinked at him . he 'd spanked her . actually spanked her . then after he slapped her backside , he 'd cupped and felt it . and heat burst across her skin , making her tingle and aware . dominic cupped her chin and brought her attention back to him . `` what do you call me in the bedroom ? '' she answered him readily because all she could think about was how her bottom practically hummed . `` if i forget to call you sir , law will spank me ? '' `` now you 're getting the gist . ''

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he captured her hand and kissed it , nibbling on her fingers . tomorrow starts the rest of our lives together . i meant every word , sherry , my love . ive been waiting for you and now that youre here , ill never let you go . now that ive had a taste of you , i dont think ill ever want to go anywhere . he growled and rolled so that he lay on top of her , letting her feel a little of his intimidating weight . good thing you said that , but im still going to have to punish you for doubting my sincerity . the devilish smile in his eyes stilled any worries she mightve had about a guy his size wanting to punish her . tomorrow , he punctuated his words with nibbling kisses along her throat and down to the fresh marks on her shoulder , you can wear the red leather number and ill paddle your pretty ass til it matches . her breath caught and her imagination took flame . i think im going to like my punishment a little too much . i can always punish you for that later . with a wink , he slid inside her and together they rocked the world until morning . between love bites and shattering completions , he told her a fantastical story about being a werewolf and leading a pack of his kin . she didnt believe a word of it , but late the next day , he proved it to her , then made love to her again . and they lived happily ever afterred and her big bad wolf . ( return to table of contents ) dunvegas : alien attack by jody wallace if i were an alien whod escaped area 51 , where would i go ? miranda mellons raised the binoculars to her sweaty face and inspected the military base from atop tikaboo peak , the closest legal vantage point to the groom lake facility . all she could see was a cluster of white warehouses encircled by the thin , tan lines of desert roads . nothing else but twenty-six miles of sand , bushes , and mountain ranges . no signs of life , much less the military masses searching for alien life . but thered been no mistaking the signal shed picked up with her dads old radio less than twenty-four hours ago . her father , an ex-military survivalist , had taught her well , and she knew what the coded message meant . loose foo . an alien had escaped . it was the day theyd all been waiting for . she was determined to be the one to locate the et , to prove herself to the other dream team members who humored her out of respect for her fathers memory . she had to decide on a plan of action . others might be hiking up tikaboo even now , at least the ones spry enough to handle the terrain . shed beaten them here because shed neglected to relay the message until shed been en route . hey , theyd pawned off the shit nevada outpost job on her while they handled the exciting aspects of extraterrestrial huntinganything besides monitoring a radio . she should benefit at least a little . after all , it was her father whod started the dream team , a faction of et hunters and conspiracy theorists that had spanned the globe since before the internet . theyd all thought area 51 was a dead zone . no way would the government hide anything or anyone here since it was so well known . miranda buzzed with excitement , and also the several energy drinks shed consumed on the trip . the others had more contacts than she did , more resources . but she had two things they didnt havethe first and most relevant being proximity . not that it was doing her any good . didnt smell anything . shed been up tikaboo enough to know what was usual , too . her second ace in the hole hadnt helped yet , eitherher souped-up gamma wave scanner . the others had scanners , but not like hers . she didnt plan to tell them about the modifications until she confirmed they worked . unfortunately , the main unit was too heavy to carry up the mountain , and she hadnt detected anything on the handheld . hell , if she were an alien whod escaped area 51 , the first thing shed do would be blow the place . barring that , shed hightail it as fast as she could towards the closest human establishment where she could blend in . might that be rachel ? only 100 people lived there and half of them were crazy . nope , still too small . by hook , teleportation , pick-up truck or crook , the alien would head for las vegas . let the other dreamers scour the desert around the et highway . miranda was going straight to sin city to extend the hand of human friendship to their stellar kin . ~*~ what the heck was going on at dunvegas ? miranda dragged her heavy luggage behind her through the parking garage , dodging a pile of horse crap . horse crap ? it was one thing for the garage to be full , but it was another for it to be full of such a freaky assortment of vehicles . everything from jeeps to chariots filled the spaces .

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2155], ["foos", 2155], ["locate", 2267], ["et", 2274], ["ets", 2274], ["prof", 2285], ["prove", 2285], ["dream", 2312], ["dreamt", 2312], ["dreamest", 2312], ["team", 2317], ["teamed", 2317], ["teaming", 2317], ["member", 2325], ["members", 2325], ["humor", 2337], ["humors", 2337], ["humorest", 2337], ["humored", 2337], ["respect", 2356], ["father", 2372], ["fathered", 2372], ["fathering", 2372], ["fathers", 2372], ["memory", 2379], ["memories", 2379], ["decide", 2399], ["plan", 2409], ["action", 2419], ["may", 2434], ["mays", 2434], ["mayest", 2434], ["might", 2434], ["hike", 2444], ["hiking", 2444], ["even", 2460], ["evens", 2460], ["least", 2475], ["leastest", 2475], ["spry", 2489], ["enough", 2496], ["handle", 2506], ["terrain", 2518], ["beat", 2532], ["beaten", 2532], ["neglect", 2565], ["neglecting", 2565], ["neglected", 2565], ["relay", 2574], ["relays", 2574], ["relayest", 2574], ["en", 2605], ["ens", 2605], ["route", 2611], ["routed", 2611], ["routeing", 2611], ["hey", 2617], 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`` a-ok , '' she breathed . `` all systems are go . '' she nodded and checked the dashboard . everything normal , all gauges and dials green . the digital clock showed that she was on schedule . her attention shifted back to the road ahead . her eyes still constantly searching for every possible shred of cover , she kept the car speeding steadily towards the frontier . blanche had been working this run for years ; driving agents through enemy territory , watching for machine guns mounted on pick up trucks , taking the quickest route across the border . she was used to being the last resort , of being the only way through , of being a woman talking , preening her hair , acting naturally . oh yes , suzie told herself , blanche dubois was a driver for the government . mostly night work , ferrying anonymous men through the small hours from interrogation centres or discrete nightclubs to safe houses and sometimes to disused airfields . sometimes clients sat in the passenger seat and blanche pretended to be their secretary , mistress or gaoler . other times they sat in the back and she was just the chauffeur , acting deaf , blind and dumb , although she had long ago discovered how to memorise conversations that officially didnt even exist . blanche , suzie told herself with satisfaction , is an expert driver . she can carve her way through the brussels traffic without anyone even noticing her presence , let alone hooting aggressively or following her along the avenue de tervueren at 8am , flashing their lights and shouting when shes only trying to get the kids to school on time . not that she has any kids at all . she doesnt even want any . that whole hormone trap just did n't attract her at all . years ago , faced with the spectre of pregnancy and childbirth , she ran hotfoot into the comforting arms of her career . thats how she kept her rock-hard concave stomach and her sanity . and passed her advanced driving test , of course . suzie narrowed her eyes , keeping them peeled for enemy agents in the belgian countryside . blanche knows how to do a handbrake turn , she told herself . blanche says its easy once you know how . you just spin the power steering into full lock while simultaneously hauling on the handbrake in order to avoid being followed by sinister agents or watchers - if that ever happens on the way to junior ballet . or at least , when blanche is working under-cover or er , body-guarding an arabian oil princess whose daughter just happens to be taking junior tap lessons at the bsb in tervueren . or when shes just pretending to take someone to junior ballet - because blanche doesnt actually have to taxi kids around to dance lessons , private coaching , tea parties , sleepovers , pony-clubs , football matches or school play rehearsals . oh no , not blanche . suzie licked her lips slowly . blanche was a woman of steel nerves and extraordinary driving skills , a woman with reactions so fast that she could swerve to avoid a bullet . but nothing troubled her that sunday . her hands , like lilies waving their heads on her delicate wrists , moved lightly over the controls , just as her narrow , finely arched feet stepped lightly over the pedals . she steadied the suspension round sharp corners , kept the tyres intact over the hostile nails at the dutch-belgian border , steered the vehicle safely through the enemy lines and right onto the ring road before she truly relaxed . all was secure , all threats left behind , no danger lurked under the orange streetlights of brussels . in the passenger seat , lyndon yawned in the sudden light and blinked out of the window . `` i didnt mean to go to sleep . '' `` ill hand this over to you now , '' whispered blanche urgently , and suzie pulled herself together . when she looked down at her hands on the steering wheel , they were her own ; her own short fingers , neatly clipped nails , slightly wrinkled skin , plain wedding band . she was just ordinary suzie lysle , driving her sleeping family home after a day out at the coast . `` dont worry , '' she chirped . `` nearly home . '' chapter one `` hang on a minute , '' said suzie , shifting the phone to her other ear . `` the kids are playing up again . '' she put her hand over the receiver . `` petya ! '' she called over the din . `` pe-t-ya ! im on the phone ! '' she walked into the sitting room and kicked the door shut , drowning out at least some of the racket from the kitchen . `` sorry about that , barbara . ive already had a word with her today ... '' `` poor cow ! '' `` yes , i know , and im very sympathetic but i dont pay her to let my kids scream the house down while she makes long emotional phone calls in moldavian and hangs out of the window smoking gauloises . '' `` homesick , is she ? ''

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it was one of the most painful admissions of her life . but she knew she owed it to her parents to give them the news herself rather than have it catch up with them through the grapevine . `` oh , eva ! '' her mother said , before hurrying over for a hug . her father looked relieved , but he asked gruffly , `` are you okay ? '' she 'd driven directly to mill valley from the the last supper club . when she 'd arrived , she 'd found her parents ensconced in their living room , where they 'd obviously retired after dinner . her mother , it had pained her to note , had been flipping through a bridal magazine . her father had been watching a news show on television . now , eva pulled away from her mother 's embrace and faced her father . carter is n't going to be your son-in-law . '' `` happy does n't describe what i 'm feeling at the moment . '' `` elated ? '' `` griffin has n't told you ? '' she said , feigning surprise . `` is n't the hired gun supposed to let his principal know the news first ? '' though griffin had told her yesterday he 'd come to her first with his evidence , she was surprised he had n't immediately followed up with a call to marcus . he 'd left before she could ask him to let her break the news to her father herself , assuming her pride would have let her make such a request . her father had the grace to look a little uncomfortable . `` he has n't said a thing . '' `` surprising since you ordered him to have carter investigated , '' eva responded coolly . `` in the first place , no one orders griffin- '' `` marcus , is this true ? '' her mother interrupted , looking shocked . her father shifted his focus to her mother . `` what else was i supposed to do , audrey ? he was about to marry into this family . and do n't second-guess me , because eva just admitted i was right ! '' eva sighed inwardly . `` about carter wanting to marry me for my money , mom . '' `` oh , eva ! her father muttered a few choice words . she did n't want to bring up that , on top of it all , carter had been cheating on her . griffin 's silence had given her an out , and she was n't above using it now . `` what would you like us to tell everyone , eva ? '' her mother asked quietly . `` just tell them carter and i decided to break up . she 'd thought about the issue on the drive over to her parents ' place , and realized there were only a few people she wanted to share the whole truth with . fortunately , because her engagement to carter had n't yet become official-there 'd been no ring , no party and no public announcement-there would be fewer questions . she also knew the last thing carter would want to admit was that he 'd been dumped by the heiress to the tremont fortune because he 'd been cheating on her . now she faced her father squarely . `` i got rid of carter , but you 're my father and i ca n't change that . '' her father went still . `` so i 'm just here to say , '' she continued , `` do n't interfere in my life again . '' `` evangeline- '' `` and to use griffin slater , of all people . '' `` i never understood your aversion to griffin . '' `` you know , i 've never quite understood it myself . after all , '' she said sarcastically , `` he 's done me a favor by taking on the role for the tremont heir that i 'm not inclined to-or should i say , i 'm not capable of ? '' `` i never said you were incapable . '' `` you did n't have to , '' she responded . her father looked stormy , while her mother simply seemed distressed . `` the reason i never pushed you toward tremont reh , '' her father said , `` is that i wanted you to be able to choose your own path and follow your own dreams . '' the admission was a balm to raw feelings . still , she was n't letting him off the hook as far as griffin was concerned . `` you may never have pushed me toward tremont reh , but you 're happy to push me at griffin , '' she accused . `` not because of tremont reh , '' her father replied stubbornly , `` but because he 's a good man . '' `` stop it , the both of you , '' her mother said , then turned her head toward her . `` eva , i hope you 'll spend the night here . i hate to think of you being alone right now . '' she was grateful for her mother 's invitation , but she had one more thing to say to her father . `` well , know this .

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he glared at her , and i noticed the fresh , raw scratches down his cheek . seeing the quiver of her lips , though , he mastered his temper with an effort , and spoke reassuringly . `` dinna mind , lassie . you 'll have no trouble over it . i 'll lock the door behind us , and ye can tell everyone in the morning what 's happened . no one shall hold ye to blame . '' ignoring this , mary thrust her feet hastily into her slippers and ran toward the door . where d 'ye think you 're going ? '' startled , jamie swung around after her , but not soon enough to stop her reaching the door . she stood in the hallway just outside , poised like a deer . `` if you do n't take me , i shall run down the corridor , screaming as loudly as i can . jamie stared at her , his hair gleaming copper in the candlelight and the blood rising in his face , obviously torn between the necessity for silence and the urge to kill her with his bare hands and damn the noise . mary glared back , one hand holding up her skirts , ready to run . now dressed and shod , i poked him in the ribs , breaking his concentration . `` take her , '' i said briefly . he gave me a look that was twin to the one he 'd been giving mary , but hesitated no more than a moment . with a short nod , he took my arm and the three of us hurried out into the chill darkness of the corridor . the house was at once deathly still and full of noises ; boards squeaked loud beneath our feet and our garments rustled like leaves in a gale . the walls seemed to breathe with the settlings of wood , and small , half-heard sounds beyond the corridor suggested the secretive burrowings of animals underground . and over all was the deep and frightening silence of a great , dark house , sunk in a sleep that must not be broken . mary 's hand was tight on my arm , as we crept down the hall behind jamie . he moved like a shadow , hugging the wall , but quickly , for all his silence . as we passed one door , i heard the sound of soft footsteps on the other side . jamie heard them , too , and flattened himself against the wall , motioning mary and me ahead of him . the plaster of the wall was cold against the palms of my hands , as i tried to press backward into it . the door opened cautiously , and a head in a puffy white mobcap poked out , peering down the hall in the direction away from us . it said in a whisper . `` is that you , albert ? '' a tickle of cold sweat ran down my spine . a housemaid , apparently expecting a visitation from the duke 's valet , who seemed to be keeping up the reputation of frenchmen . i did n't think she was going to consider an armed highlander an adequate substitute for her absent lover . i could feel jamie tense beside me , trying to overcome his scruples against striking a woman . another instant , and she would turn , see him , and scream the house down . i stepped out from the wall . `` er , no , '' i said apologetically , `` i 'm afraid it 's only me . '' the maidservant started convulsively , and i took a swift step past , so that she was facing me , with jamie still behind her . `` sorry to alarm you , '' i said , smiling cheerily . `` i could n't sleep , you see . thought i 'd try a spot of hot milk . tell me , am i headed right for the kitchens ? '' the maid , a plump miss in her early twenties , gaped unbecomingly , exposing evidence of a distressing lack of concern for dental hygiene . luckily , it was n't the same maid who had seen me to my room ; she might not realize that i was a prisoner , not a guest . `` i 'm a guest in the house , '' i said , driving the point home . continuing on the principle that the best defense is a good offense , i stared accusingly at her . `` albert , eh ? does his grace know that you are in the habit of entertaining men in your room at night ? '' this seemed to hit a nerve , for the woman paled and dropped to her knees , clutching at my skirt . the prospect of exposure was so alarming that she did n't pause to ask exactly why a guest should be wandering about the halls in the wee hours of the morning , wearing not only gown and shoes , but a traveling cloak as well . `` oh , mum ! please , you wo n't say nothing to his grace , will you ? i can see you 've a kind face , mum , surely you 'd not want to see me dismissed from my place ?

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as the ghastly miasma had risen up round him , he 'd sat bolt upright in bed , only to find her staring at him , a look of indignant horror on her face . she 'd said , in a voice of offended majesty . 'really , michel . ' 'you know it was n't me ! ' lillie 's mouth had dropped open , outrage added to horror and distaste . she gasped , gathering her small pug-dog to her bosom . 'you not only fart like a rotting whale , you attempt to blame it on my poor puppy ! cochon ! ' whereupon she had begun to shake the bedsheets delicately , using her free hand to waft the noxious odours in his direction , addressing censorious remarks to plonplon , who gave michael a sanctimonious look before turning to lick his mistress 's face with great enthusiasm . 'oh , jesus , ' he whispered , back in the present , and sinking down , pressed his face against the rail . 'oh , god , lass , i love you ! ' he shook , silently , head buried in his arms , aware of sailors passing now and then behind him , but none of them took notice of him in the dark . at last the agony eased a little , and he drew breath . he 'd be all right now , for a time . and he thanked god , belatedly , that he had joan - or sister gregory , if she liked - to look after for a bit . he did n't know how he 'd manage to walk through the streets of paris to his house , alone . go in , greet the servants - would his cousin jared be there ? - face the sorrow of the household , accept their sympathy for his father 's death , order a meal , sit down ... and all the time wanting just to throw himself on the floor of their empty bedroom and howl like a lost soul . he 'd have to face it , sooner or later - but not just yet . and right now , he 'd take the grace of any respite that offered . he blew his nose with resolution , tucked away his mangled handkerchief , and went downstairs to fetch the basket his mother had sent . he could n't swallow a thing , himself , but feeding sister joan would maybe keep his mind off things for one minute more . 'that 's how ye do it , ' his brother ian had told him , as they leant together on the rail of their mother 's sheep pen , the winter 's wind cold on their faces , waiting for their da to find his way through dying . 'ye find a way to live for just one more minute . and another . ' ian had lost a wife , too , and knew . he 'd wiped his face - he could weep before ian , while he could n't in front of his elder brother or the girls , and certainly not in front of his mother . he 'd asked , 'and it gets better after a time ; is that what ye 're telling me ? ' his brother had looked at him straight on , the quiet in his eyes showing through the outlandish mohawk tattoos . 'no , ' he 'd said softly . 'but after a time , ye find ye 're in a different place than ye were . a different person than ye were . and then ye look about , and see what 's there with ye . ye 'll maybe find a use for yourself . 'aye , fine , ' he said , under his breath , and squared his shoulders . 'we 'll see , then . ' to rakoczy 's surprise , there was a familiar face behind the rough bar . if maximilian the great was surprised to see him , the spanish dwarf gave no indication of it . the other drinkers - a pair of jugglers , each missing an arm ( but the opposing arm ) , a toothless hag who smacked and muttered over her mug of arrack , and something that looked like a ten-year-old girl but almost certainly was n't - turned to stare at him , but seeing nothing remarkable in his shabby clothing and burlap bag , turned back to the business of getting sufficiently drunk as to do what needed to be done tonight . he nodded to max and pulled up one of the splintering kegs to sit on . 'what 's your pleasure , senor ? ' rakoczy narrowed his eyes ; max had never served anything but arrack . but times had changed ; there was a stone bottle of something that might be beer , and a dark glass bottle with a chalk scrawl on it , standing next to the keg of rough liquor . 'arrack , please , max , ' he said - better the devil you know - and was surprised to see the dwarf 's eyes narrow in return . 'you knew my honoured father , i see , senor , ' the dwarf said , putting the cup on the board . 'it 's some time since you 've been in paris ? '

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i just wanted them to enjoy the gift , bud said . the sentiment is perfect , but we have to be completely open and honest with each other , cass said . do you understand why im asking that of you ? bud hung his head and admitted , i apologize . from now on , we talk everything through . so let me change the subject . what was lupe doing , going south ? '' `` she went to help her brother apply for a visa . '' `` well , then , cass . `` at no small effort on your part . he was n't sure , but he thought he detected a look of admiration in her eyes . `` guess what happened , '' bud said . `` but first , will you make me a cup of coffee ? '' cass went to the kitchen and started a pot . he followed her as far as the dining room table and took a chair . from mary elizabeth . '' cass 's heart raced as if she 'd run a quick sprint . she gripped the edge of the countertop and smiled as she said , `` in that case , do you want cream in your coffee ? '' tonight that sounds good for a change , '' bud said . she carried in two mugs and set them on the table . `` how does it feel to be free ? `` i made a decision . i took care of some financial details on david 's behalf . hes old enough and it was time . the offshoot of all that was that i gave mary elizabeth notice . i gave her time to sort things out for herself , but i let her know that i 'm not going to be her handyman husband by remote control any more . cass 's hands relaxed their grip on her coffee mug . her narrowed eyes opened a centimeter . in the dim dining room light , she watched bud 's face , his neck . his quickened pulse was visible , even from the chair beside his . his blue eyes hinted a glint of mischief . `` and do you know what happened ? even before , '' he said . `` mary elizabeth met someone . '' cass finally chuckled . `` and it gets better . the someone , the man , is an expert in oil painting restoration . works for the pettibone foundation , as in oil and limitless funds for art and antiquities . he found her a job . '' `` mary elizabeth ? cass shook her head , barely believing . she wears power suits with the appropriate amount of fluff at the neckline , the whole show . '' `` power suit . is that like the suit you were wearing when i met you ? you need to exude more testosterone to were a suit like mine . anyway , you know about my secret society of seniors . juliann told me she took you to meet them . and ill always visit them , you know . '' cass touched his face . he closed his eyes and leaned into her caressing fingers . `` you 're sweet not to say i told you so , cass , but you did tell me that mary elizabeth would move forward if i cut her loose . now for the next news . i gave notice to leonard . cass set her coffee down so hard that liquid sloshed over the lip of the cup onto the tabletop . she dabbed it with a napkin . maybe i could work at the feed & grain store , or hire on with a man i met from reed point . he needs someone who 's handy with a blow torch . '' she rose from her chair and put her arms around his shoulders . i 've wanted you so much . but it had to be all of you . '' lord knows i tried all the half measures i knew . i could n't see any other way to get you to marry me . '' `` you 're asking ? '' he stood and took her in his arms . `` of course i 'm asking . he looked like a stunned boxer trying to evade the next blow . `` what will we be to each other , you and i ? bud took her hands in his . `` i 'll be the one you trust when everything outside of you and me gets shaky . there 'll be no doubt between us . we 'll wake up every morning in each other 's arms , and we 'll sort out every disagreement before we go to bed at night . i 'll be your partner and your lover . and that 's what i want from you . '' `` then i 'll marry you , bud . and love you . just love you . she embraced him , kissing his neck and then his mouth . a flood of warmth washed through her . the touch of his tongue to hers felt like an electrical charge that coursed through her , weakening her . he drew back gently . `` come over here , '' he said , guiding her down the hall . he went to the guest room pulled a thin , wide cardboard container away from the foot board of the bed . `` open this one first , '' he said .

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`` i 'm so glad you 're not seriously hurt . '' `` i 'll probably have a bruise on my butt . fortunately , i 'm not dating anyone right now , so i 'm the only one who will see it . these slacks are a mess , though . somebody must have been tracking dirt in here , and now it 's all over the back of my pants . '' charlie came to the end of the hall where he had a view of denise , who was facing away from him . she was shorter than eve by a good four inches , and her dark hair was cut in a no-nonsense style not unlike charlie 's . she held a red leather jacket folded precisely over her arm like a maitre d 's towel . under the jacket she 'd worn a navy suit , and sure enough , the slacks had dirt smears all over the seat . he was probably responsible for that , too , because he 'd been the one who 'd left his boots on when he 'd come to see about eve 's back door . denise brushed at the dirt . `` at least they 're washable . i can change into something else and toss the whole suit in your washing machine . '' eve glanced toward the hallway where charlie was standing . `` the washing machine 's out of commission , right now . but i can run it down to the press 'n ' go . they can have it back in- '' `` that 's silly , '' denise said . `` that 's why i buy washable clothes , so i wo n't have to spend the money on dry cleaning . what do you mean , your machine 's out of commission ? do n't they have repair people in this town ? '' eve sent charlie a look of apology . `` well , here 's charlie ! charlie shepherd , i 'd like you to meet my sister , denise . '' denise spun around . you did n't say there was ... '' denise took in charlie 's bare chest and bare feet . then she glanced back at her sister , who wore what was obviously a man 's flannel shirt . `` eve , you could have warned me . '' `` she did n't have time , '' charlie said , coming forward . `` this was completely unexpected . '' he extended his hand to denise because she looked like the kind of woman who liked to shake hands . although she was attractive , her features were a little too sharp for anyone to describe her as pretty . but intelligence shone from her blue eyes . charlie could believe that she 'd cut a wide swath on wall street . denise had a firm handshake . and some of her prickly behavior seemed to disappear as she continued to gaze at charlie . `` eve said something about a break-in . i guess it 's a good thing you stayed with her , then . '' he was slightly encouraged by that show of sisterly caring . `` i 'm also the one who suggested the beads , '' he said . no reason for eve to take all the heat on that score . `` but i was the one who knew denise was coming at ten , '' eve said . `` i should have set my alarm . '' `` i have one on both my watch and my cell , for what good that did . '' charlie tried to imagine either of them thinking of setting an alarm in the state they 'd been in . first had come the unbridled lust , and then the sleepy collapse into each other 's arms . he 'd never slept so deeply in his life . denise glanced around at the beads scattered all over the hall . `` so you think someone is trying to steal the design for your ... what did you call it , again ? '' `` and we do n't have any proof that 's what they 're after . but someone broke through the back door while i was in new york this week and last night someone ... '' she paused to take a shaky breath . `` someone was in the house when we came home from my mother 's bakery , '' charlie said . denise 's eyes widened . `` we heard them leave . '' charlie decided there was no reason to give denise the lurid details . `` there was a click , like the front door closing , '' eve said . `` we both heard it . '' are you sure you did n't imagine it ? '' `` we thought so at first , '' charlie said . `` but when we checked the front door , it was unlocked . eve 's sure she locked it when we left for the bakery . '' `` well , you ca n't trust that information , charlie . '' denise glanced at her sister with a patronizing smile . `` this one would forget her head if it were n't attached . she 's the original scatterbrain . '' charlie 's jaw tensed .

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3826], ["unlocked", 3859], ["lock", 3884], ["locked", 3884], ["ca", 3937], ["cas", 3937], ["trust", 3947], ["information", 3964], ["patronizing", 4027], ["smile", 4033], ["forget", 4060], ["forgot", 4060], ["head", 4069], ["attach", 4093], ["attached", 4093], ["original", 4115], ["scatterbrain", 4128], ["jaw", 4148], ["jaws", 4148], ["jawed", 4148], ["jawest", 4148], ["tense", 4155], ["tensed", 4155]]

basically what jace did was use the broad spell to bind the people together . the hidden spell then declared jace the king of the unseelie court in this new dimension and broke all his ties to the real crown . then jace created a treaty that ended the war . a treaty that require a blood oath and sacrifice . with each slice of jace 's knife and each offered piece of his flesh he forgave the beast races for their part in the war . then he would offered his own royal flesh and blood as payment for the unseelie court 's part in the war . then when gwenn combined the elements and set them on fire jace said another silent spell that renounced his role as king of the unseelie court in earth and placed his power back to the council . if i had n't shared jace 's mind , i might have misunderstood his reasons . i might have thought he 'd been devious or self-serving somehow . jace kept it a secret because he felt love for me and our unborn child and compassion for the people of earth . he would have lied to keep her true sacrifice hidden . he never wanted others to know how much he cared . he never wanted to see shame in his father 's eyes for his foolish decision to give up so much for people who should have meant nothing to him . jace was convinced that he would be the laughing stock of all unseelie court if they ever found out he relinquished his chance at the crown for an unborn child , a jinn and the people of earth . what jace saw as a weakness however , i knew was a strength and i would make it my life 's mission to prove to him that he is more worthy than anyone else . chapter 42 point of view jace i watched as gwenn threw her power forward and the bowls burst into flames . then just as i expected the rest of the altar started to catch on fire . gwenn obviously didnt focus her magic on just the bowls . she just cast her power and blasted everything . based on the flames that now consumed the entire alter clearly i was right . the altar would be destroyed . i looked over at hestia with guilt clearly written on my face as the beautiful alter burned to a crisp . i had expected to see disappointment or even suspicion written on her face but was somewhat shocked when a look of pride shone brightly in her eyes . the moment she noticed i was looking in her direction a huge smile light her entire face . then hestia shocked me to my core . she paid homage to me by lifting her fist and pounded it into her chest in the region of her heart . that was considered the most outward expression of respect , honor and dignity a jinn could do . to pay homage for a jinn is an act reserved for times of great valor or honor . most of the time it is only ever used when a lower ranking jinn is showing respect to a higher ranking jinn . such as a warrior to a cast leader or all jinns to a king or queen . on very rare occasion a jinn will use it to acknowledge a great act of valor in battle . to my knowledge a jinn has never shown such respect to a member of the unseelie court , even a king or queen . i found tears springing to my eyes that hestia would show me such a homage for doing what needed to be done . it wasnt as if she knew the truth about the spell . no one knew and i intended to keep it that way forever . despite my heart beating ten times too fast and my soul singing in joy at hestia praise i managed to keep my face cool and serene . i smiled back and repeated her actions by pounding my fist to my chest back towards her . then to utter confusion every jinn present in the room dropped to one knee and paid homage to me just as hestia had done . then i watched as one by one every other person in the room including priam , castor , gwenn and medic dinlas dropped to one knee as well and paid homage to me . chapter 43 point of view jace im sorry jace . i never thought to tell you . i looked over at ceres with my nose crinkled in anger and my cheeks flaming red . even though i only recently found out ceres is my father hes still guilty . ceres raised me equally with my mother as her favorite consort . so as far i was concerned it was as much his fault as it was hers . if i had known the consequences of claiming the crown i would not have done it openly . how could i not know that the moment i claimed the unseelie court throne my body would begin radiating magic and my skin tone would phase between all of the elements . everyone in the room but me knew the truth . they saw my royal blood as i phased through the royal colors over and over again . i must have cycled a dozen times until i renounced the throne in yet another spell and gave my royal power back to the people of earth through their elected council .

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she pranced around , jabbing at an imaginary boxing opponent , intoning in a sing-song voice , float like a butterfly , sting like a bee . give over , muhammad ali . the only bees thatll be doing any stinging round here will be the ones that arrive next week in their new hives . halley lowered her fists . cool , do we get some of those dinky white spaceman suits with the silly hats ? id love to learn how to make honey . well , the bees do all the work making honey . we just have to collect it and eat the stuff . so maybe i could be a bee-farmer ? halley suggested . an apiarist ? i dont want to be a negative nelly but i dont think so sweetie , darcy patted her arm . remember , the last time a bee flew into your apartment and you made me catch it and put it outside . you just stood there and did that girl thing . darcy waved her hands tremulously either side of her head to give a visual on what the girl thing had looked like . halley protested , before she considered for a moment , yeah i did kinda , didnt i ? so bee-keeper is out . but there must be something else . tell you what -well sit down this evening over a glass or two of liquid inspiration and see what we can come up with . meanwhile , how about we take a tour of the village and check out the hot local talent ? darcy shook her head despairingly . from what shed seen , the hot local talent was either : middle-aged and married like bertrand , or still in short pants and at school . there was a distinct lack of males in the village that were either old enough or unmarried enough to be potential date material for halley , but she didnt say so and they went for a walk anyway . she figured the fresh air and exercise would do her friends libido more good than spying up the local talent . of course , she thought as they walked , there was gabriel . she hadnt described her boss and the owner of the chateaus physical appearance to her friend . not sure where halley had got the impression that he was an old man she wasnt about to say anything that might change her view . knowing halley , shed jump to conclusions and want to know every little detail of their working and personal relationship details that darcy did not want to discuss . setting her wine glass on the low table darcy looked over at halley , ive just had an idea ! oh goody , halley beamed a bright smile . share with the class , why dont you ? after i collected connor from school this afternoon , we went for a hot chocolate . theres a chocolatier in bourg-montfort that does a whole bunch of chocolate stuff you know , hand-made chocolates and truffles of course ; but as well as those she makes her own chocolate sauces and chocolate ice-cream and hot chocolates and all sorts of sinfully delicious chocolaty-related num nums . thats very nice . as you know , i like chocolate . i did that course last summer on chocy making . it was yummy i think i gained five pounds in less than two months . but your point would be ? there was a poster on the window advertising for staff . reckon its been filled yet ? halley looked down at her p-js and then her sleeping daughter , suppose its too late to go and see if its still available at this time of night ? theyll be shut by now . youll have to wait til morning but if youre keen , we can go first thing and see if theres still a vacancy . i know the sign only went up today or yesterday because i was there on wednesday afternoon . the shop had quickly become a favourite after-school-treat spot for darcy , connor and rosie and they visited several times a week for ice-creams and hot chocolates . its diminutive owner , aptly named mademoiselle petit , had taken a shine to rosie and was always giving her extra treats for the children . even if it is unfilled reckon theyd want me ? halley looked as if she was having a minor crisis of confidence , not something darcy had ever seen her do before . darcy held up her fist , unfurling her fingers one at a time as she spoke , come on girl . you have a management degree , youve worked for years in the hospitality industry , youre great with people , speak fluent french and mandarin and youre really good at making chocolates . she waved her open hand , waggling fingers , whats not to love ? she grinned at her friend , the only problem i can see is that you might have to dumb it down a little or theyll think youre overqualified . halley straightened up momentarily before visibly sagging once more , you dont think im being stupid giving up my salary and all the perks of being a hotel manager ?

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maybe it was time to scrap that plan and turn up the heat . `` i support several charities besides the haynes foundation . i came from nothing . it 's my duty to give back . '' the sun beat down , reflecting off the sidewalks , glass storefronts and car windshields , driving shards of pain through his head . `` that 's a really nice thing to do , toby . '' the approval in her soft voice made him feel ten feet tall and bulletproof . he wanted to kiss her so bad he could n't see straight . hell , he wanted to drag her into the nearest hotel and lose himself inside her long enough to forget the races he was missing and the fear that he might not be back in the car for chicagoland . amelia took his arm and steered him toward a shop . `` the sunlight 's bothering you . you need to buy some sunglasses before you get a headache . '' nurse mode . as much as he hated hospitals-and he 'd seen the inside of several-it was disgusting how easily her efficient take-charge demeanor turned him on . but it was more than a sexual turn-on . amelia looked out for him . in the casino , the elevator , the pool , here . how long had it been since a woman-including his mother-gave a damn about him except for what she could get out of him ? but he did n't dare let himself come to like or expect it , because in the end she 'd let him down the way women invariably did . he should cut his losses and push her away . not until he 'd relieved this itch . and he intended to start scratching it . `` i want my five minutes . '' toby 's words stopped amelia in her tracks . her hotel key card flipped out of her hand and tumbled , as if in slow motion , to the carpeted hall floor . adrenaline raced through her veins , flushing her skin and quickening her breaths . buying time , she took advantage of toby 's slowed reflexes and knelt quickly to retrieve the card before he could . and then she straightened ever so slowly before meeting his gaze . she tried to gauge his mood by his tone and failed , tried to guess what her penalty would be from his expression with no better luck . his set jaw and level gaze gave nothing away . nor had he said anything on the drive back to monaco to hint at his intentions . in fact , he 'd been unusually silent . she wanted to fabricate an excuse for why this was n't a good time , but the creative side of her brain was too busy running amok considering what he could do with five minutes to come up with logical reasons . making that wager had been stupid . stooopid . she did n't gamble , did n't bet . heck , she 'd never even joined the nurses ' pool to buy lottery tickets . but she 'd foolishly made an exception by wagering with toby because she 'd believed winning a sure thing . and now she would pay for her recklessness . `` i , um ... guess you could come in . i do n't know if my roommates are in or out or- '' `` my room . '' her mouth opened , but she could n't speak and could barely drag a breath into her constricted chest . he strolled down the hall , extracted his key from the pocket of his khaki pants , unlocked his door and pushed it open . a tilt of his head indicated she precede him . wobbly legs carried her forward . doubt sucked each step like deep mud . entering cautiously , she scanned his sitting room , noting the earthy tuscan colors that were so different from the lighter , more feminine decor of the suite she shared with candace and the bridesmaids . she halted beside the cognac-colored l-shaped leather sofa separating the sitting and dining areas . a wide balcony and a door leading to the bedroom were the only exits-neither a viable means of escape . he stopped behind her , close but not touching . she dampened her lips and focused on the blue sky beyond the glass balcony doors . `` what 's my penance ? '' `` eager , sugar ? '' the words were low , barely audible , like the rumble of thunder in the distance . the fine hairs on her body rose as if an electrical storm crackled nearby . `` eager to get back to my room , yes . '' she clutched her purse tighter . the lace edging the scooped neckline of her teal top rasped against her skin like a calloused fingertip with every shallow breath , and the hem of her denim skirt teased the back of her thighs like a lover 's caress . she 'd been wearing this outfit for eight hours . why had it suddenly become a source of tantalizing friction ? because toby was right . she 'd fixated on that night , her mind rutted in a treacherous path that could only lead to trouble .

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maybe he was simply trying to freak us out since we made a public spectacle of him and his son ? '' caroline 's shoulders sagged . she was sure she 'd figured it out . `` april is sinister enough , but i doubt she 's smart enough to be the mastermind of any operation . she 's just plain mean . '' cade leaned forward and stared into her eyes . `` enough about her . `` yeah , because i have n't been in the spotlight enough over the last few weeks . '' `` you 've been through a lot this summer . how do you intend to spend your semester off ? '' caroline stared at different focal points on the walls as she really thought about the answer to that question . i think i would like to learn everything i can about the area . i would love to learn the language you speak sometimes with your friends , that way i 'll know when you 're talking about me . '' she winked and he playfully shook his head , smirking . `` i would also love to learn how to cook some of this delicious food you guys have down here , and i 'm definitely in love with the coffee . '' `` sweet caroline , i will make it my mission to see that you accomplish your goals . '' once the word spread caroline was staying for the long run , eddie hosted a party in her honor . he called it a fais dodo and said it 's a southern louisiana tradition anytime there 's a celebration . the house overflowed with people she 'd never met , but somehow they all seemed to know her . cade stayed by her side the whole night . april opted not to attend caroline 's homecoming party , most likely because she was anything but excited about her return . she claimed to have not been feeling well and stayed in her room . claire was surprisingly the life of the party . eddie had rented a karaoke system , and claire quickly became the entertainer of the evening . her beautiful voice prompted massive applause in which she relished after each song she sang . cade stayed true to his word and brought his cousin , josh , to meet claire and they immediately hit it off . eddie kissed caroline 's cheek . a handsome man , he had a very distinguished look about him , especially when dressed nicely in this relaxed setting . he practically glowed with happiness . `` how are you enjoying your party ? '' cade excused himself so she and eddie could talk . i ca n't get over the lights and decorations . it 's a great surprise . i am feeling very special . '' his infectious smile lit up his whole face . you are very special to many people around here . '' she raised her glass to her lips . `` yeah , '' she mumbled , `` except april . '' listening to claire sing a faith hill song , caroline had at least four different people she did n't know approach her and ask if she and cade were a couple . one elderly lady even asked if they 'd set a date yet ! caroline would n't mind being his girlfriend someday , she looked forward to it , in fact , but frankly she was perfectly happy to be single and free for a while and able to do whatever she wanted . caroline was in no rush to jump into another serious relationship . cade sidled up beside her and whispered in her ear . `` need some fresh air ? '' the fresh air was thick with moisture , but a revitalizing breeze rustled through the trees . they strolled to the duck pond . chirping crickets harmonized with the bullfrogs and lightening bugs blinked across the lawn . `` that 's convincing , '' he said as he kissed her hand before helping her off the path to cross the grassy area . `` why does everyone think i have to be with someone to be happy ? why ca n't i just be single for a while without someone poking a nose in my business telling me about a friend or cousin they can set me up with ? i 've been through enough mistakes and drama lately . '' cade 's eyelids flickered with disappointment . `` present company excluded , '' she mumbled . he enclosed his comforting arms around her and gave a little squeeze , but did n't let go . `` i know you 've been through hell , and , believe me , i wish there had been something i could have done to make it easier for you . '' with one finger he brushed a strand of hair from her forehead . `` i also know that you are in no rush to jump right into another relationship . '' she nodded , and , when he did n't continue , she looked up into his eyes . `` what i want you to know is that i am a very patient man . i will be here for you always , for anything you may need or want . i want to be with you , together , as a couple . but i want to make sure you 're ready before it happens . i 'm here for the long haul , so do n't worry about me .

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4469], ["ready", 4523], ["happen", 4541], ["happens", 4541], ["haul", 4571], ["hauls", 4571], ["worry", 4589], ["worried", 4589]]

i 've played along with your king-of-the-hill routine for expediency , and mainly because i really did n't care that much when we started , but i 'm running this show now . in a couple of days , the cycler is going to kill her and put his plan in motion to enslave us all . would you like to run an election to see which one of us should lead , or will you let someone with a little more life experience take over ? '' the vampire king growled but backed down . `` fine , '' he said between clenched teeth . cain did n't wait for cole 's agreement . he knew the wolf was on board . after all , jane was already headed back to the demon dimension . he 'd want to get back to his mate as quickly as possible . `` oh , and anthony , i need you to come with me to collect your traitor . '' `` you seem to think you 're the biggest badass here , and i ca n't get into a church . besides , i thought you 'd want some personal time with the rogue priest , considering he 's made a bigger fool out of you than anyone else . '' the vampire king glared , but finally conceded . `` just do n't kill him . i have a lot of aggression to get out , '' cain said . the two of them shared a smile for the first time . despite their rocky beginnings , cain could see promise in him , even if he was a half-breed . *** cain hated that he had to rely on a vampire to get hadrian out of the church . it was complete bullshit that a vampire was allowed inside , but a demon was n't . the tiny sliver of shiny human inside the vampire made him still okay ? still acceptable in the eyes of the man upstairs ? cain snorted in disgust . anthony was every bit as evil as he was . `` have something you 'd like to share with the class ? '' `` just go get him . '' the vampire shrugged and went inside . cain stood by the door , hating that he could n't go in there and kick an ass yet . there was a chance anthony could end up on the wrong end of the stake , then what ? or hadrian could . then they were out the one informant that could possibly help them find tam before it was too late . he felt the stirrings of an emotion he had n't felt in awhile . what if she had n't been taken yet ? what if she was fighting for her life , and here he was staking out the vampire priest 's church like an imbecile ? twenty minutes later , anthony had an unconscious hadrian in his arms . `` he wo n't stay out for long . '' i do n't need long . '' the portal point was only a few blocks away . *** cain stood over hadrian , his anger and fear for tam simmering underneath a mask of calm indifference . but he would n't show any of that to his captive . on the surface he would be cold , empty . he had to maintain control for tam 's sake . the vampire priest slumped in a set of chains , still unconscious . the demon looked over at the table filled with instruments of torture . something inside him jumped with glee over the idea of having not only a half-breed , but a former holy man in shackles . hadrian opened his eyes slowly , swaying a little as his feet sunk into sand . his gaze darted around the cave , the smallest hint of fear in his expression when he saw the demon . he tugged at the chains , but they held strong . luc had done a good job installing them . `` it 's about time you rejoined us . i 've got some good news and bad news . unfortunately , it 's the same news , '' cain said . `` here in the demon dimension , you ca n't go dead for the day . so if you thought you just had to hold out a few hours before you got a break from me , sorry to disappoint . '' he felt the demonic fire burn in his eyes and he rolled right into the only question that mattered . `` where is tam ? '' hadrian looked at the ground , his jaw set in determination . `` hey , i love torturing people . i do n't get to do it enough . you see , most of my time is spent in a pretty woman 's bed seducing the life right out of her . it 's a bit more low key than what i 've got planned here . you can imagine my excitement over the change of pace . i like to be gentle with the ladies , you see . so i 'll ask again nicely . where 's tam ? '' `` she 's with jack , '' hadrian said . it earned him a hard punch in the jaw . `` do n't be clever . i 'm sure the difficult task of thinking is a strain . you 're obviously not very bright to do what you 've done . '' cain wanted to shred the vampire like paper , peeling strips of skin off one at a time . the vampire would probably survive it .

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phone calls at all hours , trips here or to my house in new orleans when i take the damned thing off the hook . '' she felt his very un-kevin-like smile against the top of her head . `` and you put up with this ? '' she liked this new side of him , so different than anything she 'd ever seen or heard about him . she knew he was distracting her , knew he 'd chosen the topic to keep her mind occupied with something other than her fear . but that made him only more interesting-as a person and as a potential lover . her fingers itched for her camera , the need to record this unexpected side of him nearly overwhelming . but it was way too dark to photograph him , no matter how good her flash was . not to mention that she 'd have to leave the safety of his arms to do so , something she was n't yet ready to contemplate though she shied away from the knowledge . glancing around the still-dark studio , she shuddered before she could stop herself . she hated this stupid fear , hated that it still had the power to control her . it had been ten years since sandra had died . and while the first few years were a jumble of fear and hate , confusion and loneliness , she 'd slowly pulled out of the tailspin her sister 's murder had thrown her into . years passed and she began to go days , weeks , sometimes even months without feeling the crippling grief that literally brought her to her knees . but something always happened . a newspaper article , a movie preview , a blackout . and she would realize , once again , just how tenuous her grip on sanity really was . the pattern was her mantra at times like these . if she did it long enough , the shaking would stop . kevin tensed and felt his heart rate double . serena was all but convulsing in his arms and she was doing it without a sound . but the quiet made her agony all the more frightening . she was breathing-slowly , methodically , as if every breath was a matter of life and death . he raised a hand to smooth her sweat-soaked hair from her face , astounded to realize that he was n't quite steady . he could n't stand this , could n't handle her pain or his total inability to make it better . pressing her tightly to his chest , he locked his arms around her and waited for her to calm . but the shaking only got worse . finally , finally , her heart rate slowed and her breathing became less mechanical , more natural . he buried the questions racing through him , ignored his need for answers as he searched for something harmless to say . painful seconds passed before he decided to return to their previous conversation . `` why do i put up with an agent who manipulates me , you ask ? have you met steve ? '' he kept his voice light with effort . `` i know he can be a little ... '' her voice shook , but she latched on to his conversational lifeboat like a drowning victim . `` neurotic ? as vicious as a great white that 's scented blood ? '' he was grateful the shaking had stopped , unsure of how much longer he could have handled her terror without losing it himself . `` i was going to say persistent . but your descriptions fit too . '' she forced a laugh , but it was strained . perhaps because you do n't strike me as totally sane either . '' `` i am in perfect mental health , cher . '' his voice held outraged indignation , but he could n't hide the thread of laughter beneath . `` which is why you keep a neurotic , insane , man-eating shark as an agent ? '' `` he 's the best in the business . besides , would you want to fire him ? '' `` you know , i get a totally different story from steve . he warned me to watch out for you . something about you being grumpy , surly , and a people-hater with violent tendencies ? '' serena studied the small part of kevin 's face she could see as lightning exploded all around them . `` yeah , well i 've been on my best behavior the last few days . i get much worse . '' `` stick around awhile and you 'll see for yourself . '' * * * silence reigned for a few minutes , even as fierce bursts of thunder continued to shake the studio violently . serena knew she should move away-she 'd taken advantage of kevin 's hospitality long enough-but she did n't want to go . he probably had other ideas , though . the heat was becoming unbearable in the studio , even with the furnace in the corner dying down . the bayou was not a comfortable place to be without air-conditioning most months , but august was especially hot and sticky . sweat slowly slid down serena 's neck , pooled between her br**sts . she should pull away from kevin , give both of them some much-needed breathing room . at least they 'd both be a few degrees cooler .

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chapter four thursday was busier than usual at the diner . lana struggled to keep up with the orders and the customers . her late night was wearing her down . she 'd settled herself into a system with her two jobs , and going out to dinner with kent had disrupted that . by four she was exhausted and ready to go home . instead , she finished her shift at the diner before making her way across the city to the anderson corporation building . her feet ached , but she refused to give in . her hair was tied in pigtails down either side of her shoulders . it was seven at night when she got inside . she 'd missed lunch and was hungry . ignoring the pangs , she grabbed the cleaning trolley , smiled at the security guard before making her way over to the elevator . she pushed the trolley inside , pressed the button for her floor and waited . wiping the sleep from her eyes , she pulled the trolley onto the floor . the light inside kent 's office was on . nibbling her lip , she wondered if she should go and talk to him . shaking her head , she went around gathering the used sweet packets and bits of screwed up paper from people 's desk with a trashcan in her hand . she did n't look at the family pictures as she made her way around the large office . her feet hurt even though she wore flats . she 'd never worn high heels and doubted she 'd ever be able to walk in them . picking up the duster she made her way through the office once again cleaning down the desks and putting everything away neatly . `` you 're not even going to acknowledge my presence ? '' lana turned to see kent leaning against his office doorframe . i need to get this place clean . '' getting the office clean meant she could clean and then go home . she liked the thought of getting home and having a bath . a bath sounded like the best thing in the world . kent moved closer to her . `` we went out to dinner . you 've been cleaning for an hour , and you 've nothing to say . '' staring at her hands on the duster , heat filled her cheeks at his assessment . `` how about hello ? or 'how are you doing ' would be good , '' he said . he 'd moved close enough for him to reach out and lift her chin up with a finger underneath . `` hello , mr anderson . `` call me kent . we 're past formal names . '' `` kent , '' she said . she 'd called him kent last night . in the office it did n't feel right calling him by his name . `` i need to clean . '' `` yes , i 'm exhausted . i need to get this place clean so i can go home . '' tears filled her eyes as her emotions got the better of her . kent smiled , taking the duster from her . `` i 'm going to help you get this place finished , and then i 'm going to drive you home and we 're going to eat together . '' `` you really should n't do that . you 're paying me to clean . '' she tried to take the duster from him . `` no , i pay the cleaning company . you 're exhausted , and i 'm looking forward to having dinner with you again . '' i get my own way all the time . you may as well give up . '' lana could n't help but smile back . are you sure you know what to do with that ? '' `` i 've watched you using it for months . i think i can handle it , '' he said . pleasure travelled up her spine at the knowledge . they worked together around the office . watching kent in his expensive business suit working a duster was one of the best sights she 'd seen all year . he went around the desk and occasionally grumbled . `` i 'm going to ban personal items , '' he said . personal items are great . they allow people to bring their family to work . i bet if you took their personal items away , they 'd work slowly . '' she turned the vacuum on and started buzzing around the office . when they were finished , lana took the duster away from him . `` maybe you 're in the wrong profession , '' she said . `` i 've watched the best . '' she smiled at him enjoying his compliment . `` right , why do n't you put this away and meet me down at the parking lot ? '' kent turned to her , cupped her cheek and leaned down . the air whooshed out of her at his nearness . `` and you better be there within ten minutes . if you do n't i 'll take you over my knee and give you what for . '' are you going to tell the press ? i can see the headline now , notorious billionaire threatens to spank his cleaner , '' he said . `` one , i would n't go to the press .

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