Datasets:

Saibo-creator
/

bookcorpus_compact_1024_test

Dataset card Viewer Files Files and versions Community

Split (1)

train · 6.16k rows

text stringlengths 3.57k 5.54k	concept_with_offset stringlengths 3.48k 11.1k
`` actually , it 's pretty nice . there 's a lot to do and the school is great . '' ethan eyes me , rubbing his chin . `` something 's got you all wound up . '' `` i 'm completely okay , '' i say in denial . `` although , the excessive questions are a bit much . '' lila peers over at me as she licks froth from her lips . you look upset or something . '' she feels my forehead . `` you 're not getting sick , are you ? '' micha returns to the table and the coffeehouse has cleared out a bit . he grabs a vacant chair , pulls it up to the table , turning it backwards , and then sits down in it . `` so what are we up to for the rest of the night ? '' ethan asks while micha checks his messages on his phone . `` i got to take this pretty lady over here to get her car fixed by you . '' micha nods his head at lila . ethan looks pleased . `` wow , i 'm honored to be the one to fix it . '' micha slides his phone into his pocket . `` we have to swing by ella 's house and pick it up , so meet us at the shop in like a half-an-hour . '' ethan waves the waitress over to give us the check . micha asks me . `` does it sound like a plan ? '' i shrug , distracted by where he went with that girl . everyone takes their coffee 's to-go and we head for the door . i leave mine behind , along with something else , but i 'm not sure what . perhaps a piece of my new identity . *** micha and i do n't speak the entire drive home . it freaks lila out a little and i worry that the more time she spends here with me , the less time she 's going to want to spend with me on campus . when we pull into the driveway that routes the side of my house , there is a painful reminder of another reason i did n't want to come back waiting for me near the garage . lila scoots forward in her seat . i grimace , scowling at the shiny red porsche with ohio license plates . `` now be nice , '' micha warns , his voice dripping with sarcasm . `` but it does n't make him less of an asshole , '' i mutter . `` and he swore when he left , he was never coming back here ever again . '' `` that 's your brother 's car ? '' `` good god , what does he do for living ? '' i press the tips of my fingers to the sides of my nose . `` well , how does he afford a car like that ? '' she requests interestedly . `` it 's not his car , '' i say . `` it 's my mothers . '' micha and i swap an oblique look , recalling the day the car mysteriously showed up in the garage . she never would tell anyone how she got it , and for a while , dean and i expected the police to show up and arrest her for car thievery . it never happened and as time went on , it became like a game to my mother . not just with the car , but with life . we never knew if she was telling the truth or not . after she died , dean took the car . he acted like it was his right and maybe it was . he was n't the one who 'd snuck out of the house that night and left our mother alone . `` and that gorgeous car over there is yours , '' i remind lila , diverting her attention elsewhere . `` you should probably go get it fixed , before ethan wanders off from the shop . '' `` i 'd really like to meet your brother first before i go . '' `` i 'm sure he 'll still be here when you get back . '' actually i 'm hoping he 'll be gone . `` come on , lila , we 'll make it quick . '' micha opens the door . `` we can drop it off and walk back . it is n't too far . '' when i climb outside , he captures my gaze over the roof of the car . `` i think i need to stay . '' my eyes travel to the back door . `` who knows why he 's here and what he 'll say to dad ? and i do n't think dad can handle his crap . '' pressing his hands to the roof , he leans over . `` but can you handle his crap ? '' `` just get her car fixed . she needs to get out before she gets sucked into this place . '' `` this town is n't that bad . '' micha closes the door . `` you used to think the same thing . '' `` i also used to believe my mom would get better , '' i say . `` and look what a crashing disappointment that was . ''	[["pretty", 26], ["prettiest", 26], ["nice", 31], ["lot", 48], ["school", 69], ["schooling", 69], ["great", 78], ["ethan", 89], ["eye", 94], ["eyed", 94], ["eyes", 94], ["rub", 107], ["rubbing", 107], ["chin", 116], ["get", 138], ["got", 138], ["wind", 152], ["completely", 179], ["okay", 184], ["say", 195], ["sayest", 195], ["denial", 205], ["although", 219], ["excessive", 235], ["question", 245], ["questions", 245], ["bit", 255], ["bits", 255], ["much", 260], ["lila", 270], ["peer", 276], ["peers", 276], ["lick", 300], ["licks", 300], ["froth", 306], ["lip", 320], ["lipped", 320], ["lips", 320], ["look", 331], ["upset", 337], ["feel", 365], ["feels", 365], ["forehead", 377], ["get", 402], ["getting", 402], ["sick", 407], ["return", 436], ["returnest", 436], ["returns", 436], ["table", 449], ["tabled", 449], ["tabling", 449], ["coffeehouse", 469], ["coffeehousing", 469], ["clear", 481], ["clearest", 481], ["cleared", 481], ["grab", 502], ["vacant", 511], ["chair", 517], ["chairing", 517], ["pull", 525], ["pulls", 525], ["turn", 554], ["turning", 554], ["backwards", 567], ["sat", 583], ["sit", 583], ["sits", 583], ["rest", 633], ["night", 646], ["ask", 662], ["asks", 662], ["check", 681], ["checks", 681], ["message", 694], ["messages", 694], ["phone", 707], ["take", 726], ["lady", 743], ["get", 760], ["car", 768], ["fix", 774], ["fixes", 774], ["fixed", 774], ["nod", 797], ["nods", 797], ["head", 806], ["look", 828], ["looks", 828], ["pleased", 836], ["wow", 845], ["honor", 860], ["honored", 860], ["fix", 881], ["fixes", 881], ["slid", 902], ["slides", 902], ["pocket", 928], ["pocketing", 928], ["swing", 950], ["swung", 950], ["ella", 958], ["ellas", 958], ["house", 967], ["pick", 976], ["meet", 992], ["meeted", 992], ["shop", 1007], ["like", 1015], ["half", 1022], ["hour", 1030], ["wave", 1047], ["waved", 1047], ["waves", 1047], ["waitress", 1060], ["give", 1073], ["check", 1086], ["sound", 1121], ["plan", 1133], ["shrug", 1146], ["shrugging", 1146], ["distract", 1159], ["distracted", 1159], ["go", 1176], ["goest", 1176], ["went", 1176], ["girl", 1191], ["everyone", 1202], ["take", 1208], ["takes", 1208], ["coffee", 1221], ["go", 1230], ["goest", 1230], ["door", 1255], ["left", 1265], ["leave", 1265], ["behind", 1277], ["along", 1285], ["else", 1305], ["sure", 1325], ["perhaps", 1340], ["piece", 1348], ["pieced", 1348], ["new", 1358], ["identity", 1367], ["speak", 1398], ["spoken", 1398], ["entire", 1409], ["drive", 1415], ["home", 1420], ["homing", 1420], ["freak", 1432], ["freaking", 1432], ["freaks", 1432], ["little", 1450], ["worry", 1462], ["worried", 1462], ["time", 1481], ["spend", 1492], ["spends", 1492], ["spendest", 1492], ["less", 1516], ["go", 1534], ["goest", 1534], ["going", 1534], ["spend", 1551], ["spends", 1551], ["spendest", 1551], ["campus", 1569], ["pull", 1584], ["driveway", 1602], ["route", 1614], ["routed", 1614], ["routeing", 1614], ["routes", 1614], ["side", 1623], ["sidest", 1623], ["painful", 1656], ["another", 1676], ["reason", 1683], ["reasonest", 1683], ["come", 1706], ["back", 1711], ["wait", 1719], ["waitest", 1719], ["waiting", 1719], ["near", 1731], ["garage", 1742], ["scoot", 1756], ["forward", 1764], ["forwardest", 1764], ["forwarding", 1764], ["seat", 1776], ["grimace", 1788], ["grimacing", 1788], ["scowl", 1799], ["scowls", 1799], ["scowlest", 1799], ["scowling", 1799], ["shiny", 1812], ["shinier", 1812], ["red", 1816], ["porsche", 1824], ["ohio", 1834], ["license", 1842], ["plate", 1849], ["plating", 1849], ["plates", 1849], ["warn", 1883], ["warns", 1883], ["voice", 1895], ["drip", 1904], ["dripping", 1904], ["sarcasm", 1917], ["asshole", 1966], ["mutter", 1980], ["mutterest", 1980], ["muttering", 1980], ["swear", 1998], ["sweared", 1998], ["left", 2011], ["leave", 2011], ["never", 2026], ["come", 2033], ["coming", 2033], ["ever", 2048], ["everest", 2048], ["brother", 2083], ["brethren", 2083], ["good", 2103], ["god", 2107], ["live", 2136], ["living", 2136], ["press", 2149], ["tip", 2158], ["tips", 2158], ["finger", 2172], ["fingers", 2172], ["side", 2185], ["sidest", 2185], ["sides", 2185], ["nose", 2196], ["nosed", 2196], ["nosing", 2196], ["well", 2206], ["wells", 2206], ["afford", 2227], ["request", 2261], ["requestest", 2261], ["requests", 2261], ["interestedly", 2274], ["mother", 2330], ["mothered", 2330], ["motherest", 2330], ["mothers", 2330], ["swap", 2352], ["swapped", 2352], ["swopping", 2352], ["oblique", 2363], ["recall", 2380], ["recallest", 2380], ["recalling", 2380], ["day", 2388], ["mysteriously", 2409], ["show", 2416], ["showed", 2416], ["tell", 2456], ["anyone", 2463], ["dean", 2503], ["deans", 2503], ["expect", 2518], ["expected", 2518], ["police", 2529], ["show", 2537], ["arrest", 2551], ["thievery", 2572], ["happen", 2592], ["happened", 2592], ["become", 2624], ["became", 2624], ["game", 2636], ["mother", 2649], ["mothered", 2649], ["motherest", 2649], ["life", 2689], ["lifes", 2689], ["know", 2705], ["knowest", 2705], ["knew", 2705], ["tell", 2724], ["telling", 2724], ["truth", 2734], ["die", 2758], ["died", 2758], ["take", 2770], ["took", 2770], ["act", 2789], ["acted", 2789], ["right", 2811], ["rightest", 2811], ["maybe", 2821], ["snuck", 2862], ["alone", 2916], ["gorgeous", 2939], ["remind", 2977], ["divert", 2994], ["diverting", 2994], ["attention", 3008], ["elsewhere", 3018], ["probably", 3043], ["wander", 3082], ["wanders", 3082], ["really", 3120], ["first", 3152], ["firstest", 3152], ["still", 3195], ["hope", 3247], ["hoping", 3247], ["go", 3262], ["goest", 3262], ["gone", 3262], ["quick", 3305], ["open", 3322], ["opens", 3322], ["drop", 3348], ["walk", 3364], ["far", 3389], ["climb", 3407], ["outside", 3415], ["capture", 3429], ["captures", 3429], ["gaze", 3437], ["gazes", 3437], ["roof", 3451], ["roofs", 3451], ["roofing", 3451], ["think", 3475], ["thinkest", 3475], ["need", 3482], ["needest", 3482], ["stay", 3490], ["travel", 3510], ["know", 3542], ["knowest", 3542], ["knows", 3542], ["dad", 3584], ["handle", 3620], ["crap", 3629], ["crapped", 3629], ["press", 3643], ["pressing", 3643], ["hand", 3653], ["hands", 3653], ["lean", 3676], ["leans", 3676], ["need", 3757], ["needest", 3757], ["needs", 3757], ["get", 3784], ["gets", 3784], ["suck", 3791], ["sucking", 3791], ["sucked", 3791], ["place", 3807], ["town", 3825], ["bad", 3841], ["close", 3859], ["closes", 3859], ["use", 3882], ["used", 3882], ["thing", 3906], ["also", 3921], ["believe", 3937], ["mom", 3944], ["moms", 3944], ["well", 3961], ["wells", 3961], ["crash", 4002], ["crashing", 4002], ["disappointment", 4017]]
grace managed a wobbly smile and whispered , `` you are a prince among men . '' `` it is always lovely to hear it , '' thomas said . `` now , would you care to join the rest of us for supper ? '' grace turned toward the dowager , who was red-faced with rage . `` you grasping little whore , '' she spat . `` do you think i do n't know what you are ? do you think i would allow you in my home again ? '' grace stared at her in calm shock , then said , `` i was about to say that i would offer you my assistance for the rest of the journey , since i would never dream of leaving a post without giving proper and courteous notice , but i believe i have reconsidered . '' she turned to amelia , holding her hands carefully at her sides . she was not sure if it was from shock or delight , but she was shaking . `` may i share your room this evening ? '' because certainly she was not going to remain with the dowager . `` of course , '' amelia replied promptly . she linked her arm through grace 's . `` let us have some supper . '' it was , grace later decided , the finest shepherd 's pie she 'd ever tasted . several hours later , grace was up in her room staring out the window while amelia slept . grace had tried to go to sleep , but her mind was still all abuzz over thomas 's astounding act of generosity . plus , she wondered where jack had gone off to - he 'd not been in the dining room when she and thomas and amelia arrived , and no one seemed to know what had happened to him . plus plus , amelia snored . grace rather enjoyed the view of dublin below . they were not in the city center , but the street was busy enough , with local folk going about their business , and plenty of travelers on their way into or out of the port . it was strange , this newfound sense of freedom . she still could not believe that she was here , sharing a bed with amelia and not curled up on an uncomfortable chair at the dowager 's bedside . supper had been a merry affair . thomas was in remarkably good spirits , all things considered . he had not said anything more of his generous gift , but grace knew why he 'd done it . if jack was found to be the true duke - and thomas was convinced this would be the case - then she could not remain at belgrave . to have her heart broken anew , every day for the rest of her life - that , she could not bear . thomas knew that she 'd fallen in love with jack . she had not said so , not expressly , but he knew her well . for him to act with such generosity , when she 'd gone and fallen in love with the man who might very well be the cause of his downfall - it brought tears to her eyes every time she thought of it . and so now she was independent . an independent woman ! she would sleep until noon every day . she would read books . she would wallow in the sheer laziness of it all , at least for a few months , and then find something constructive to do with her time . a charity , perhaps . or maybe she would learn to paint watercolors . it sounded decadent . no , she decided firmly , she would find friends . she had many friends in the district . she was glad she would not be leaving lincolnshire , even if it did mean that she might occasionally cross paths with jack . lincolnshire was home . she knew everyone , and they knew her , and her reputation would not be questioned , even if she did set up her own home . she would be able to live in peace and respectability . it would be a good thing . not lonely . she would have funds . she could go visit elizabeth , who would be married to her earl in the south . she could join one of those women 's clubs her mother had so adored . they 'd met every tuesday afternoon , claiming they were there to discuss art and literature and the news of the day , but when the meetings were held at sillsby , grace had heard far too much laughter for those topics . she would not be lonely . she refused to be lonely . she looked back at amelia , snoring away on the bed . grace had often envied the willoughby girls their secure places in society . they were daughters of an earl , with impeccable bloodlines and generous dowries . it was odd , really , that her future should now be so well-defined while amelia 's was so murky . but she had come to realize that amelia was no more in control of her own fate than she herself had been . her father had chosen her husband before she could even speak , before he knew who she was , what she was like . how could he know , looking upon an infant of less than one year , whether she would be suited for life as a duchess ?	[["grace", 5], ["manage", 13], ["managed", 13], ["wobbly", 22], ["smile", 28], ["whisper", 42], ["whispered", 42], ["prince", 64], ["among", 70], ["man", 74], ["mans", 74], ["manned", 74], ["men", 74], ["always", 95], ["lovely", 102], ["lovelier", 102], ["hear", 110], ["hears", 110], ["thomas", 125], ["say", 130], ["sayest", 130], ["said", 130], ["care", 156], ["join", 164], ["joinest", 164], ["rest", 173], ["supper", 190], ["turn", 208], ["turned", 208], ["toward", 215], ["dowager", 227], ["red", 241], ["rage", 257], ["grasp", 275], ["grasped", 275], ["grasping", 275], ["little", 282], ["whore", 288], ["spit", 302], ["spitting", 302], ["think", 320], ["thinkest", 320], ["know", 334], ["knowest", 334], ["allow", 376], ["home", 391], ["homing", 391], ["stare", 415], ["stared", 415], ["calm", 430], ["calms", 430], ["shock", 436], ["say", 472], ["sayest", 472], ["offer", 491], ["assistance", 509], ["journey", 537], ["journeys", 537], ["journeyed", 537], ["journeyest", 537], ["since", 545], ["never", 559], ["dream", 565], ["dreamt", 565], ["dreamest", 565], ["left", 576], ["leave", 576], ["leaving", 576], ["post", 583], ["without", 591], ["give", 598], ["giving", 598], ["proper", 605], ["courteous", 619], ["notice", 626], ["believe", 642], ["reconsider", 662], ["reconsidered", 662], ["amelia", 688], ["hold", 698], ["holding", 698], ["hand", 708], ["hands", 708], ["carefully", 718], ["side", 731], ["sidest", 731], ["sides", 731], ["sure", 750], ["delight", 782], ["shake", 804], ["shaking", 804], ["may", 813], ["mays", 813], ["mayest", 813], ["share", 821], ["room", 831], ["roomed", 831], ["evening", 844], ["certainly", 867], ["go", 885], ["goest", 885], ["going", 885], ["remain", 895], ["course", 927], ["reply", 947], ["replied", 947], ["promptly", 956], ["link", 969], ["linked", 969], ["arm", 977], ["let", 1003], ["lets", 1003], ["later", 1049], ["decide", 1057], ["decided", 1057], ["fine", 1070], ["finest", 1070], ["shepherd", 1079], ["pie", 1086], ["ever", 1098], ["everest", 1098], ["taste", 1105], ["tasted", 1105], ["several", 1115], ["hour", 1121], ["hours", 1121], ["stare", 1162], ["stared", 1162], ["staring", 1162], ["window", 1177], ["windows", 1177], ["slept", 1196], ["sleep", 1196], ["sleeps", 1196], ["sleepest", 1196], ["try", 1214], ["tryed", 1214], ["tried", 1214], ["go", 1220], ["goest", 1220], ["slept", 1229], ["sleep", 1229], ["sleeps", 1229], ["sleepest", 1229], ["mind", 1244], ["minding", 1244], ["still", 1254], ["abuzz", 1264], ["astounding", 1290], ["act", 1294], ["acted", 1294], ["generosity", 1308], ["plus", 1315], ["wonder", 1330], ["wonderest", 1330], ["wondered", 1330], ["jack", 1341], ["jacks", 1341], ["jacked", 1341], ["go", 1350], ["goest", 1350], ["gone", 1350], ["arrive", 1432], ["arrived", 1432], ["seem", 1452], ["seeming", 1452], ["seemed", 1452], ["happen", 1478], ["happened", 1478], ["snore", 1513], ["snored", 1513], ["rather", 1528], ["enjoy", 1536], ["enjoyed", 1536], ["view", 1545], ["viewest", 1545], ["dublin", 1555], ["city", 1589], ["center", 1596], ["street", 1613], ["busy", 1622], ["busied", 1622], ["enough", 1629], ["local", 1642], ["folk", 1647], ["business", 1674], ["plenty", 1687], ["traveler", 1700], ["travelers", 1700], ["way", 1713], ["ways", 1713], ["port", 1737], ["strange", 1754], ["newfound", 1770], ["sense", 1776], ["freedom", 1787], ["share", 1845], ["bed", 1851], ["curl", 1878], ["curls", 1878], ["curled", 1878], ["uncomfortable", 1901], ["chair", 1907], ["chairing", 1907], ["bedside", 1933], ["merry", 1959], ["affair", 1966], ["remarkably", 1993], ["good", 1998], ["spirit", 2006], ["spirited", 2006], ["spirits", 2006], ["thing", 2019], ["things", 2019], ["consider", 2030], ["considered", 2030], ["anything", 2057], ["generous", 2078], ["gift", 2083], ["know", 2100], ["knowest", 2100], ["knew", 2100], ["find", 2138], ["found", 2138], ["true", 2153], ["duke", 2158], ["duked", 2158], ["convince", 2185], ["convinced", 2185], ["convincing", 2185], ["case", 2208], ["heart", 2268], ["break", 2275], ["broke", 2275], ["broken", 2275], ["anew", 2280], ["every", 2288], ["day", 2292], ["life", 2317], ["lifes", 2317], ["bore", 2345], ["bear", 2345], ["bearest", 2345], ["fall", 2378], ["falls", 2378], ["fallen", 2378], ["love", 2386], ["expressly", 2434], ["well", 2457], ["wells", 2457], ["man", 2546], ["mans", 2546], ["manned", 2546], ["may", 2556], ["mays", 2556], ["mayest", 2556], ["might", 2556], ["cause", 2579], ["downfall", 2595], ["bring", 2608], ["brought", 2608], ["tear", 2614], ["teared", 2614], ["tears", 2614], ["eye", 2626], ["eyed", 2626], ["eyes", 2626], ["time", 2637], ["think", 2649], ["thinkest", 2649], ["thought", 2649], ["independent", 2688], ["woman", 2711], ["womans", 2711], ["noon", 2740], ["read", 2767], ["reads", 2767], ["book", 2773], ["books", 2773], ["wallow", 2792], ["wallowing", 2792], ["sheer", 2805], ["sheering", 2805], ["laziness", 2814], ["least", 2835], ["leastest", 2835], ["month", 2852], ["months", 2852], ["find", 2868], ["constructive", 2891], ["charity", 2923], ["perhaps", 2933], ["maybe", 2944], ["learn", 2960], ["learnt", 2960], ["learns", 2960], ["paint", 2969], ["watercolor", 2981], ["watercoloring", 2981], ["watercolors", 2981], ["sound", 2994], ["sounded", 2994], ["decadent", 3003], ["firmly", 3029], ["friend", 3054], ["friends", 3054], ["many", 3069], ["district", 3093], ["glad", 3108], ["lincolnshire", 3146], ["even", 3153], ["evens", 3153], ["mean", 3168], ["meanest", 3168], ["occasionally", 3196], ["cross", 3202], ["crossing", 3202], ["path", 3208], ["paths", 3208], ["everyone", 3262], ["reputation", 3303], ["question", 3327], ["questioned", 3327], ["set", 3349], ["able", 3385], ["abled", 3385], ["live", 3393], ["peace", 3402], ["respectability", 3421], ["thing", 3448], ["lonely", 3461], ["fund", 3484], ["funds", 3484], ["visit", 3505], ["elizabeth", 3515], ["married", 3538], ["earl", 3550], ["earls", 3550], ["south", 3563], ["woman", 3599], ["womans", 3599], ["women", 3599], ["club", 3608], ["clubbed", 3608], ["clubbing", 3608], ["clubs", 3608], ["mother", 3619], ["mothered", 3619], ["motherest", 3619], ["adore", 3633], ["adores", 3633], ["adored", 3633], ["meet", 3647], ["meeted", 3647], ["met", 3647], ["tuesday", 3661], ["afternoon", 3671], ["claim", 3682], ["claiming", 3682], ["discuss", 3709], ["discusses", 3709], ["discussest", 3709], ["art", 3713], ["literature", 3728], ["news", 3741], ["newses", 3741], ["meeting", 3776], ["meetings", 3776], ["hold", 3786], ["held", 3786], ["hear", 3815], ["hears", 3815], ["heard", 3815], ["far", 3819], ["much", 3828], ["laughter", 3837], ["topic", 3854], ["topics", 3854], ["refuse", 3894], ["refused", 3894], ["look", 3920], ["looked", 3920], ["back", 3925], ["snore", 3945], ["snoring", 3945], ["away", 3950], ["often", 3979], ["envy", 3986], ["envied", 3986], ["willoughby", 4001], ["girl", 4007], ["girls", 4007], ["secure", 4020], ["securest", 4020], ["place", 4027], ["places", 4027], ["society", 4038], ["daughter", 4060], ["daughters", 4060], ["impeccable", 4089], ["bloodline", 4100], ["bloodlines", 4100], ["dowry", 4121], ["dowries", 4121], ["odd", 4134], ["really", 4143], ["future", 4161], ["define", 4191], ["defined", 4191], ["murky", 4220], ["come", 4239], ["realize", 4250], ["control", 4285], ["fate", 4301], ["father", 4340], ["fathered", 4340], ["fathering", 4340], ["choose", 4351], ["chosen", 4351], ["husband", 4363], ["husbanding", 4363], ["speak", 4391], ["spoken", 4391], ["like", 4440], ["look", 4470], ["looking", 4470], ["upon", 4475], ["infant", 4485], ["less", 4493], ["year", 4507], ["whether", 4517], ["suit", 4537], ["suited", 4537], ["duchess", 4559]]
she came through the `` loudest '' when her emotions were running strong . still , i tried to do what i 'd done before , back when i 'd spied on her and christian . the meditation thing . mental focus like that still was n't easy for me , but at long last i managed the transition , slipping into her head and experiencing the world as hers . she stood in her american lit class , during project-work time , but , like most of the students , she was n't working . she and camille conta leaned against a wall on the far side of the room , talking in hushed voices . `` it 's gross , '' said camille firmly , a frown crossing her pretty face . she had on a blue skirt made of velvet-like fabric , short enough to show off her long legs and possibly raise eyes about the dress code . `` if you guys were doing it , i 'm not surprised she got addicted and did it with jesse . '' `` she did n't do it with jesse , '' insisted lissa . `` and it 's not like we had sex . we just did n't have any feeders , that 's all . '' lissa focused her full attention on camille and smiled . everyone 's overreacting . '' camille looked like she seriously doubted this , and then , the more she stared at lissa , the more unfocused her eyes became . a blank look fell over her . asked lissa , voice like silk . camille tried to shake the compulsion . that fact that it 'd even gotten this far was incredible . as christian had observed , using it on moroi was unheard of . camille , although strong-willed , lost the battle . `` it 's really not that big a deal . '' `` and jesse 's lying . '' `` definitely lying . '' a mental strain burned inside of lissa as she held onto the compulsion . it took a lot of effort , and she was n't finished . `` carly and i are going to study for mattheson 's test in her room . '' `` invite me . '' camille thought about it . `` hey , you want to study with us ? '' `` sure , '' said lissa , smiling at her . camille smiled back . lissa dropped the compulsion , and a wave of dizziness swept over her . camille glanced around , momentarily surprised , then shook off the weirdness . `` see you after dinner then . '' `` see you , '' murmured lissa , watching her walk away . when camille was gone , lissa reached up to tie her hair up in a ponytail . her fingers could n't quite get all the hair through , and suddenly , another pair of hands caught hold and helped her . she spun around and found herself staring into christian 's ice-blue eyes . she exclaimed , shivering at the realization that it had been his fingers touching her . he gave her his lazy , slightly twisted smile and brushed a few pieces of unruly black hair out of his face . `` are you asking me or ordering me ? '' she glanced around , both to avoid his eyes and make sure no one saw them together . worried about what your slaves 'll think if they see you talking to me ? '' `` they 're my friends , '' she retorted . i mean , from what i saw , camille would probably do anything for you , right ? friends till the end . '' he crossed his arms over his chest , and in spite of her anger , she could n't help but notice how the silvery gray of his shirt set off his black hair and blue eyes . `` at least she is n't like you . she does n't pretend to be my friend one day and then ignore me for no reason . '' an uncertain look flickered across his features . tension and anger had built up between them in the last week , ever since i 'd yelled at christian after the royal reception . believing what i 'd told him , christian had stopped talking to her and had treated her rudely every time she 'd tried to start a conversation . now , hurt and confused , she 'd given up attempts at being nice . the situation just kept getting worse and worse . looking out through lissa 's eyes , i could see that he still cared about her and still wanted her . his pride had been hurt , however , and he was n't about to show weakness . he said in a low , cruel voice . `` i thought that was the way all royals were supposed to act . you certainly seem to be doing a good job with it . or maybe you 're just using compulsion on me to make me think you 're a two-faced bitch . maybe you really are n't . lissa flushed at the word compulsion - and cast another worried look around - but decided not to give him the satisfaction of arguing anymore .	[["come", 8], ["came", 8], ["loud", 31], ["loudest", 31], ["emotion", 52], ["emotions", 52], ["run", 65], ["running", 65], ["strong", 72], ["still", 80], ["try", 90], ["tryed", 90], ["tried", 90], ["back", 125], ["spy", 141], ["spied", 141], ["christian", 162], ["christians", 162], ["meditation", 179], ["thing", 185], ["mental", 194], ["focus", 200], ["like", 205], ["easy", 229], ["long", 250], ["longs", 250], ["last", 255], ["manage", 265], ["managed", 265], ["transition", 280], ["transitioning", 280], ["slip", 291], ["slipping", 291], ["head", 305], ["experience", 322], ["experienced", 322], ["experiencing", 322], ["world", 332], ["stood", 352], ["stand", 352], ["standest", 352], ["american", 368], ["americans", 368], ["lit", 372], ["light", 372], ["class", 378], ["classing", 378], ["classest", 378], ["project", 395], ["projectest", 395], ["work", 400], ["wrought", 400], ["time", 405], ["student", 439], ["students", 439], ["work", 461], ["wrought", 461], ["working", 461], ["camille", 479], ["lean", 492], ["leans", 492], ["leaned", 492], ["wall", 507], ["far", 518], ["side", 523], ["sidest", 523], ["room", 535], ["roomed", 535], ["talk", 545], ["talking", 545], ["voice", 562], ["voices", 562], ["gross", 579], ["say", 589], ["sayest", 589], ["said", 589], ["firmly", 604], ["frown", 614], ["frowns", 614], ["cross", 623], ["crossing", 623], ["pretty", 634], ["prettiest", 634], ["face", 639], ["blue", 659], ["skirt", 665], ["velvet", 680], ["fabric", 692], ["short", 700], ["enough", 707], ["show", 715], ["leg", 733], ["legs", 733], ["raise", 752], ["eye", 757], ["eyed", 757], ["eyes", 757], ["dress", 773], ["dressest", 773], ["code", 778], ["guy", 795], ["guys", 795], ["get", 838], ["got", 838], ["addict", 847], ["addicted", 847], ["jesse", 869], ["jessed", 869], ["insist", 920], ["insistest", 920], ["insisted", 920], ["sex", 961], ["feeder", 996], ["feeders", 996], ["focus", 1029], ["focused", 1029], ["full", 1038], ["attention", 1048], ["smile", 1070], ["smiled", 1070], ["everyone", 1081], ["overreact", 1097], ["overreacted", 1097], ["overreacting", 1097], ["look", 1117], ["looked", 1117], ["seriously", 1136], ["doubt", 1144], ["doubted", 1144], ["stare", 1182], ["stared", 1182], ["unfocused", 1212], ["become", 1228], ["became", 1228], ["blank", 1238], ["blanks", 1238], ["look", 1243], ["fall", 1248], ["falls", 1248], ["fell", 1248], ["ask", 1265], ["asked", 1265], ["voice", 1279], ["silk", 1289], ["shake", 1314], ["compulsion", 1329], ["fact", 1341], ["even", 1357], ["evens", 1357], ["get", 1364], ["gotten", 1364], ["incredible", 1388], ["observe", 1416], ["observed", 1416], ["use", 1424], ["using", 1424], ["moroi", 1436], ["unheard", 1448], ["although", 1472], ["lose", 1493], ["lost", 1493], ["battle", 1504], ["really", 1522], ["big", 1535], ["bigs", 1535], ["deal", 1542], ["definitely", 1588], ["lay", 1594], ["lie", 1594], ["lain", 1594], ["lying", 1594], ["strain", 1615], ["strains", 1615], ["burn", 1622], ["burns", 1622], ["burned", 1622], ["inside", 1629], ["hold", 1650], ["held", 1650], ["onto", 1655], ["ontos", 1655], ["take", 1680], ["took", 1680], ["lot", 1686], ["effort", 1696], ["finish", 1723], ["finished", 1723], ["carly", 1734], ["go", 1750], ["goest", 1750], ["going", 1750], ["study", 1759], ["test", 1781], ["invite", 1808], ["invites", 1808], ["think", 1832], ["thinkest", 1832], ["thought", 1832], ["hey", 1850], ["sure", 1891], ["smile", 1917], ["smiling", 1917], ["drop", 1962], ["dropped", 1962], ["wave", 1990], ["waved", 1990], ["dizziness", 2003], ["sweep", 2009], ["swept", 2009], ["glance", 2036], ["glanced", 2036], ["around", 2043], ["momentarily", 2057], ["surprise", 2067], ["surprised", 2067], ["shake", 2080], ["shook", 2080], ["weirdness", 2098], ["see", 2107], ["dinner", 2124], ["murmur", 2159], ["murmurest", 2159], ["murmured", 2159], ["watch", 2176], ["watching", 2176], ["walk", 2185], ["away", 2190], ["go", 2214], ["goest", 2214], ["gone", 2214], ["reach", 2230], ["reached", 2230], ["tie", 2240], ["tying", 2240], ["tieing", 2240], ["hair", 2249], ["ponytail", 2266], ["finger", 2280], ["fingers", 2280], ["quite", 2296], ["get", 2300], ["suddenly", 2336], ["another", 2346], ["pair", 2351], ["pairs", 2351], ["hand", 2360], ["hands", 2360], ["catch", 2367], ["catches", 2367], ["catched", 2367], ["caught", 2367], ["hold", 2372], ["help", 2383], ["helpest", 2383], ["helped", 2383], ["spun", 2398], ["spin", 2398], ["find", 2415], ["found", 2415], ["stare", 2431], ["stared", 2431], ["staring", 2431], ["ice", 2453], ["iced", 2453], ["exclaim", 2479], ["exclaimed", 2479], ["shiver", 2491], ["shivering", 2491], ["realization", 2510], ["touch", 2548], ["touching", 2548], ["give", 2562], ["gave", 2562], ["lazy", 2575], ["slightly", 2586], ["smile", 2600], ["brush", 2612], ["brushest", 2612], ["brushed", 2612], ["piece", 2625], ["pieced", 2625], ["pieces", 2625], ["unruly", 2635], ["black", 2641], ["ask", 2682], ["asking", 2682], ["order", 2697], ["orderest", 2697], ["ordering", 2697], ["avoid", 2740], ["see", 2774], ["saw", 2774], ["together", 2788], ["worry", 2798], ["worried", 2798], ["slave", 2821], ["slaves", 2821], ["think", 2831], ["thinkest", 2831], ["friend", 2889], ["friends", 2889], ["retort", 2907], ["retortest", 2907], ["retorted", 2907], ["mean", 2916], ["meanest", 2916], ["probably", 2959], ["anything", 2971], ["right", 2987], ["rightest", 2987], ["till", 3002], ["end", 3010], ["ends", 3010], ["endest", 3010], ["cross", 3026], ["crossing", 3026], ["crossed", 3026], ["arm", 3035], ["arms", 3035], ["chest", 3050], ["spite", 3065], ["spited", 3065], ["spites", 3065], ["anger", 3078], ["help", 3099], ["helpest", 3099], ["notice", 3110], ["silvery", 3126], ["gray", 3131], ["grays", 3131], ["shirt", 3144], ["set", 3148], ["least", 3195], ["leastest", 3195], ["pretend", 3238], ["pretendest", 3238], ["friend", 3254], ["day", 3262], ["ignore", 3278], ["reason", 3295], ["reasonest", 3295], ["uncertain", 3313], ["flicker", 3328], ["flickered", 3328], ["flickering", 3328], ["across", 3335], ["feature", 3348], ["features", 3348], ["tension", 3358], ["build", 3378], ["builds", 3378], ["built", 3378], ["week", 3411], ["ever", 3418], ["everest", 3418], ["since", 3424], ["yell", 3436], ["yelled", 3436], ["royal", 3465], ["reception", 3475], ["believe", 3487], ["believing", 3487], ["tell", 3502], ["told", 3502], ["stop", 3530], ["stopped", 3530], ["treat", 3561], ["treats", 3561], ["treatest", 3561], ["treated", 3561], ["rudely", 3572], ["every", 3578], ["start", 3605], ["conversation", 3620], ["hurt", 3633], ["hurts", 3633], ["hurting", 3633], ["confuse", 3646], ["confused", 3646], ["confusing", 3646], ["give", 3661], ["given", 3661], ["attempt", 3673], ["attempts", 3673], ["nice", 3687], ["situation", 3703], ["keep", 3713], ["keepest", 3713], ["kept", 3713], ["get", 3721], ["getting", 3721], ["bad", 3727], ["worse", 3727], ["look", 3747], ["looking", 3747], ["care", 3807], ["cared", 3807], ["pride", 3850], ["however", 3874], ["weakness", 3914], ["low", 3933], ["lowed", 3933], ["cruel", 3941], ["way", 3979], ["ways", 3979], ["royal", 3990], ["royals", 3990], ["suppose", 4004], ["supposed", 4004], ["act", 4011], ["acted", 4011], ["certainly", 4027], ["seem", 4032], ["seeming", 4032], ["good", 4051], ["job", 4055], ["jobbing", 4055], ["maybe", 4074], ["two", 4141], ["twos", 4141], ["bitch", 4153], ["flush", 4196], ["flushed", 4196], ["word", 4208], ["cast", 4230], ["casts", 4230], ["decide", 4272], ["decided", 4272], ["give", 4284], ["satisfaction", 4305], ["argue", 4316], ["arguing", 4316], ["anymore", 4324]]
`` we wo n't go in after her alone . i do n't want to fail to save her . but do n't you think the chances of the two of us being noticed are slimmer than the chances of an entire group ? we do n't want to give them time to prepare for our attack . '' `` you ca n't let tori know we 're coming . if she 's been ... compromised , she might give our intentions away . '' `` she 'd never willingly do that . you know as well as i do that they could force her to tell them . they could torture her or go into her mind the way you do . '' nika 's throat moved as she swallowed . i do n't want to do anything that has even a remote chance of hurting her more . it 's probably best if i do n't even know what our plans are , in case she can somehow see inside me the way i can her . '' `` i 'll talk to joseph . we 'll keep you out of the loop . '' `` but you wo n't leave me here . if he promised her , he 'd be bound to that promise . and yet , she was reaching out to him , asking for his trust . it had been a long time since madoc had felt trustworthy . nika had given that back to him and he wanted to do something for her in return . `` i promise i wo n't make you stay here when we go . '' the weight of his vow and what it meant wove around him , chaining him to his word . he was n't sure if he 'd made a good decision or a terrible mistake , but there was no turning back now . angus could n't let this go on any longer . seven months was long enough . he had to find a way to get through to gilda . through the closed bathroom door , he heard the bathwater run , then stop . he did n't bother to knock , knowing she 'd tell him to go away-that she wanted to be alone or some nonsense . instead , he simply opened the door and walked in . she jerked , covering her nakd brsts with her arms . she 'd never done that before , and it was just more proof of how far apart they 'd drifted . he let her see his displeasure in his face as well as shoving it through their link . the mental push was harder than it should have been ; their link had shrunk more even since yesterday . `` i 've seen you nakd a few thousand times . '' her chin went up as she let her arms fall back into the water . angus ignored the lie , sat on the edge of the tub , and began unlacing his boots . there was a hint of fear in her tone , and angus wanted to pound his fists into a wall to vent some of his frustration . `` seven months , gilda . it 's been seven months since you let me touch you . our bond is growing weaker by the day , and now the lives of several young women are in the balance . at least one of them is one of our own , and i 'm damn well not going to be the cause of her death . '' angus shed his clothes and stepped into the tub . gilda shrank back from him , pressing herself as far away as the giant soaking tub would allow . `` are you still letting tynan experiment on you ? '' i 'm just as infertile now as i was last year . '' anger was getting harder and harder to fight with each day that passed . he could n't stop it from coming through in his words now . `` because i jerked off into a cup . tynan checked under a microscope , and nothing has changed . '' `` i told you that if you agreed to these experiments , i was n't going to let you bed me . you know i wo n't force you , but i 'm damn well not going to sit by while our bond fails . i 'm going to touch you , and it has nothing to do with sex . '' water sluiced down her curves . her glorious body was just as beautiful to him now as it had been centuries ago . age and the birth of their children had done nothing to take away from her perfection . angus swallowed , trying to ease the grinding sexual frustration he 'd lived with for way too long . he asked , his voice deceptively gentle . the last thing he felt right now was gentle , and if she bothered to reach out for him through their link , she 'd know it . her chin quivered a moment before she pulled herself together . `` if you touch me , i 'll forget my intentions . you 'll seduce me , and i 'll never be able to forgive myself for giving in . '' `` you make it sound like letting me make love to you would be a bad thing . '' `` i wo n't have another child .	[["wo", 8], ["go", 15], ["goest", 15], ["alone", 34], ["fail", 58], ["save", 66], ["think", 93], ["thinkest", 93], ["chance", 105], ["chanced", 105], ["chancing", 105], ["chances", 105], ["two", 116], ["twos", 116], ["notice", 136], ["noticed", 136], ["slim", 148], ["entire", 178], ["group", 184], ["give", 209], ["time", 219], ["prepare", 230], ["attack", 245], ["ca", 260], ["cas", 260], ["let", 268], ["lets", 268], ["tori", 273], ["know", 278], ["knowest", 278], ["come", 292], ["coming", 292], ["compromise", 325], ["compromised", 325], ["may", 337], ["mays", 337], ["mayest", 337], ["might", 337], ["intention", 357], ["intentions", 357], ["away", 362], ["never", 383], ["willingly", 393], ["well", 420], ["wells", 420], ["force", 450], ["tell", 462], ["torture", 488], ["mind", 512], ["minding", 512], ["way", 520], ["ways", 520], ["throat", 547], ["move", 553], ["moved", 553], ["swallow", 570], ["swallows", 570], ["swallowed", 570], ["anything", 601], ["even", 615], ["evens", 615], ["remote", 624], ["remoted", 624], ["chance", 631], ["chanced", 631], ["chancing", 631], ["hurt", 642], ["hurts", 642], ["hurting", 642], ["probably", 668], ["good", 673], ["best", 673], ["plan", 710], ["plans", 710], ["somehow", 740], ["see", 744], ["inside", 751], ["talk", 791], ["joseph", 801], ["keep", 815], ["keepest", 815], ["loop", 835], ["looping", 835], ["left", 864], ["leave", 864], ["promise", 889], ["promised", 889], ["bind", 910], ["bound", 910], ["promise", 926], ["yet", 936], ["reach", 955], ["reaching", 955], ["ask", 975], ["asking", 975], ["trust", 989], ["long", 1010], ["longs", 1010], ["since", 1021], ["feel", 1036], ["felt", 1036], ["trustworthy", 1048], ["give", 1065], ["given", 1065], ["back", 1075], ["return", 1130], ["returnest", 1130], ["stay", 1168], ["weight", 1200], ["weighted", 1200], ["weightest", 1200], ["vow", 1211], ["mean", 1229], ["meanest", 1229], ["meant", 1229], ["wove", 1234], ["around", 1241], ["chain", 1256], ["chaining", 1256], ["word", 1272], ["sure", 1290], ["good", 1311], ["decision", 1320], ["terrible", 1334], ["mistake", 1342], ["mistook", 1342], ["mistaken", 1342], ["turn", 1369], ["turning", 1369], ["angus", 1386], ["long", 1422], ["longs", 1422], ["seven", 1430], ["month", 1437], ["months", 1437], ["enough", 1453], ["find", 1470], ["get", 1483], ["bathroom", 1530], ["door", 1535], ["hear", 1546], ["hears", 1546], ["heard", 1546], ["bathwater", 1560], ["run", 1564], ["stop", 1576], ["bother", 1596], ["bothers", 1596], ["bothering", 1596], ["knock", 1605], ["knocks", 1605], ["knockest", 1605], ["know", 1615], ["knowest", 1615], ["knowing", 1615], ["nonsense", 1687], ["instead", 1697], ["simply", 1709], ["open", 1716], ["opened", 1716], ["walk", 1736], ["walked", 1736], ["jerk", 1752], ["jerks", 1752], ["jerked", 1752], ["cover", 1763], ["covering", 1763], ["arm", 1795], ["arms", 1795], ["proof", 1856], ["proofs", 1856], ["proofed", 1856], ["proofest", 1856], ["far", 1867], ["apart", 1873], ["drift", 1889], ["drifting", 1889], ["drifted", 1889], ["displeasure", 1922], ["face", 1934], ["shove", 1953], ["shoving", 1953], ["link", 1975], ["mental", 1988], ["push", 1993], ["hard", 2004], ["shrank", 2053], ["shrink", 2053], ["shrunk", 2053], ["shrinked", 2053], ["yesterday", 2079], ["yesterdays", 2079], ["see", 2095], ["seen", 2095], ["thousand", 2120], ["time", 2126], ["times", 2126], ["chin", 2140], ["go", 2145], ["goest", 2145], ["went", 2145], ["fall", 2173], ["falls", 2173], ["water", 2193], ["ignore", 2209], ["ignored", 2209], ["lay", 2217], ["lie", 2217], ["lain", 2217], ["sat", 2223], ["sit", 2223], ["edge", 2235], ["edges", 2235], ["tub", 2246], ["begin", 2258], ["began", 2258], ["unlace", 2267], ["unlacing", 2267], ["boot", 2277], ["boots", 2277], ["hint", 2296], ["hinting", 2296], ["fear", 2304], ["fearest", 2304], ["tone", 2316], ["toned", 2316], ["toning", 2316], ["pound", 2344], ["fist", 2354], ["fists", 2354], ["wall", 2366], ["vent", 2374], ["frustration", 2398], ["touch", 2473], ["touching", 2473], ["bond", 2488], ["grow", 2499], ["growest", 2499], ["growing", 2499], ["weak", 2506], ["day", 2517], ["life", 2537], ["lifes", 2537], ["lives", 2537], ["several", 2548], ["young", 2554], ["youngest", 2554], ["woman", 2560], ["womans", 2560], ["women", 2560], ["balance", 2579], ["least", 2590], ["leastest", 2590], ["damn", 2636], ["damned", 2636], ["go", 2651], ["goest", 2651], ["going", 2651], ["cause", 2667], ["death", 2680], ["shed", 2696], ["clad", 2708], ["clothe", 2708], ["clothes", 2708], ["step", 2720], ["stepped", 2720], ["shrank", 2748], ["shrink", 2748], ["shrunk", 2748], ["shrinked", 2748], ["press", 2773], ["pressing", 2773], ["giant", 2806], ["soak", 2814], ["soaks", 2814], ["soaking", 2814], ["allow", 2830], ["still", 2849], ["let", 2857], ["lets", 2857], ["letting", 2857], ["experiment", 2874], ["infertile", 2909], ["last", 2927], ["year", 2932], ["anger", 2943], ["get", 2955], ["getting", 2955], ["fight", 2982], ["fightest", 2982], ["pass", 3008], ["passed", 3008], ["word", 3064], ["words", 3064], ["cup", 3105], ["check", 3121], ["checked", 3121], ["microscope", 3140], ["microscopes", 3140], ["nothing", 3154], ["change", 3166], ["changed", 3166], ["tell", 3181], ["told", 3181], ["agree", 3204], ["agreed", 3204], ["experiment", 3225], ["experiments", 3225], ["bed", 3258], ["sat", 3329], ["sit", 3329], ["fail", 3353], ["fails", 3353], ["sex", 3415], ["sluice", 3434], ["sluiced", 3434], ["curve", 3450], ["curved", 3450], ["curves", 3450], ["glorious", 3465], ["body", 3470], ["bodied", 3470], ["beautiful", 3492], ["beautifulest", 3492], ["century", 3528], ["centuries", 3528], ["ago", 3532], ["age", 3538], ["aged", 3538], ["birth", 3552], ["child", 3570], ["childs", 3570], ["children", 3570], ["take", 3595], ["perfection", 3620], ["try", 3647], ["tryed", 3647], ["trying", 3647], ["ease", 3655], ["grind", 3668], ["grinding", 3668], ["sexual", 3675], ["live", 3699], ["lived", 3699], ["ask", 3732], ["asked", 3732], ["voice", 3744], ["deceptively", 3756], ["gentle", 3763], ["gentler", 3763], ["thing", 3780], ["right", 3794], ["rightest", 3794], ["bother", 3831], ["bothers", 3831], ["bothering", 3831], ["bothered", 3831], ["reach", 3840], ["quiver", 3908], ["quiverest", 3908], ["quivered", 3908], ["moment", 3917], ["pull", 3935], ["pulled", 3935], ["together", 3952], ["forget", 3988], ["forgot", 3988], ["seduce", 4019], ["seducing", 4019], ["able", 4048], ["abled", 4048], ["forgive", 4059], ["forgived", 4059], ["forgiving", 4059], ["give", 4077], ["giving", 4077], ["sound", 4106], ["like", 4111], ["love", 4132], ["bad", 4154], ["another", 4190], ["child", 4196], ["childs", 4196]]
then you came to me at breakfast and i was too damn close to tel ing you i 'd take whatever i could get . '' `` i was too damn close to begging you to stop punishing me . '' her vision blurred and she turned her head . `` you shut me out . it ... hurt . i hate hurting . he exhaled and leaned into her . `` you 're damned stubborn . '' stung by the truth , she said , `` and you 're rol ing over and exposing your bel y without much of a fight , puppy . '' `` you 've been here before , with charron . of course you 'd be wary of putting yourself out there again and making yourself vulnerable . i 've never had this , and i want it . i ca n't imagine not having it . not having you . '' vash pressed her palm over his strongly beating heart . `` has it occurred to you that i might be seducing you and making you care so you wo n't be able to kil me ? '' `` what kind of ahole do you take me for ? think i could nail you six ways from sunday , then nail you again with a stake ? i let that go before we went at each other in the warehouse . micah 's dead . what you did to him was wrong , because your assumptions about me were wrong . but i ca n't say i would 've acted differently . if i kil you on his behalf , i 'd just be doing exactly what you did to him for nikki 's sake . it 's a vicious cycle that wo n't bring either of them back , but would destroy both of us . '' she nuzzled into his neck , breathing him in . `` some wil ask that question and ascribe that motive to me . more wil think about it . '' `` nooo ... '' she crooned , nibbling behind his ear . `` we have a deal : exclusivity and convenience . you fk no one but me . '' elijah 's hands cupped her shoulder blades , keeping her close . he tilted his head to the side , giving her total access to the thick artery in his neck that carried his life 's blood . such a submissive gesture by so dominant a male-one that came at great cost , she knew-stirred her blood . the hunter in her stretched in anticipation , while the woman in her melted . with perfectly gauged strokes of her tongue , vash expertly plumped his vein . she felt him swal ow hard and she smiled . `` did you know a vampire 's bite can give the sweetest sexual ecstasy ? '' `` why do you think i wo n't let you feed off anyone else ? '' `` i was too far gone to see to your pleasure in vegas . i want to please you , elijah . i got mine in vegas . '' his hands , those warm and wonderful hands , slid down her back and cupped her buttocks , rocking her onto his raging erection . `` and you please me al the time , in so many ways . but if you want to make it up to me anyway , i wo n't mind . '' as she dragged her fangs delicately across his throat , she could n't fail to feel the fine tremors rippling through him . `` you 're an apex predator , and you 're about to be another predator 's snack . '' `` i 'm a man , '' he retorted gruffly , `` who 's about to lie back , relax , and enjoy his woman riding him to a mind-blowing orgasm . '' `` why , you chauvinist , '' she scolded with laughter in her voice . but her smile faded when she pul ed back to look at him . his face was etched into tense lines and his eyes , those jeweled eyes that saw right through her , were aglow . the man could tease , but the beast inside him was struggling with being food for another being . she gentled him with soothing strokes of her hands through his hair . `` you do n't have to do this , elijah . i can take a wrist from someone else . quick and clean . '' `` a woman , if you prefer . we could go to a den . you could f**k me while i feed . it might turn you on to watch- '' `` no , damn you . '' his voice was deep and rumbling , nearly a snarl . he caught her by the back of the neck and yanked her to his throat . `` i'l be the one who gives you what you need . closing her eyes , she sucked in a deep , shaky breath and found her focus . his pleasure was more paramount than her need to eat , because she understood the gift he was giving her and how much it violated the very core of the predator he was . taking pleasure from penetration took time for an alpha male to adjust to . she could n't bear for elijah to regret feeding her . and if she was honest , she would admit she hoped he 'd enjoy it enough to want to do it again .	[["come", 13], ["came", 13], ["breakfast", 32], ["damn", 51], ["damned", 51], ["close", 57], ["tel", 64], ["e", 68], ["ing", 68], ["eest", 68], ["take", 82], ["whatever", 91], ["get", 103], ["beg", 143], ["begging", 143], ["stop", 155], ["punish", 165], ["punishing", 165], ["vision", 184], ["blur", 192], ["blurs", 192], ["blurred", 192], ["turn", 207], ["turned", 207], ["head", 216], ["shut", 230], ["hurt", 251], ["hurts", 251], ["hurting", 251], ["hate", 260], ["hateed", 260], ["hurt", 268], ["hurts", 268], ["hurting", 268], ["exhale", 281], ["exhaled", 281], ["lean", 292], ["leans", 292], ["leaned", 292], ["damn", 321], ["damned", 321], ["stubborn", 330], ["sting", 341], ["stung", 341], ["stinging", 341], ["truth", 354], ["say", 365], ["sayest", 365], ["said", 365], ["expose", 408], ["exposing", 408], ["bel", 417], ["without", 427], ["much", 432], ["fight", 443], ["fightest", 443], ["puppy", 451], ["course", 511], ["wary", 526], ["put", 537], ["putting", 537], ["vulnerable", 593], ["never", 607], ["ca", 639], ["cas", 639], ["imagine", 651], ["press", 700], ["pressed", 700], ["palm", 709], ["palms", 709], ["palmed", 709], ["palmest", 709], ["strongly", 727], ["beat", 735], ["beating", 735], ["heart", 741], ["occur", 762], ["occurest", 762], ["occurred", 762], ["may", 782], ["mays", 782], ["mayest", 782], ["might", 782], ["seduce", 794], ["seducing", 794], ["care", 818], ["wo", 828], ["able", 840], ["abled", 840], ["kind", 868], ["think", 906], ["thinkest", 906], ["nail", 919], ["six", 927], ["way", 932], ["ways", 932], ["sunday", 944], ["sundays", 944], ["stake", 979], ["let", 987], ["lets", 987], ["go", 995], ["goest", 995], ["go", 1010], ["goest", 1010], ["went", 1010], ["warehouse", 1041], ["warehousing", 1041], ["micah", 1049], ["dead", 1057], ["wrong", 1089], ["assumption", 1116], ["assumptions", 1116], ["say", 1155], ["sayest", 1155], ["act", 1173], ["acted", 1173], ["differently", 1185], ["behalf", 1214], ["exactly", 1243], ["nikki", 1273], ["sake", 1281], ["sakes", 1281], ["vicious", 1299], ["cycle", 1305], ["bring", 1323], ["either", 1330], ["back", 1343], ["destroy", 1363], ["destroys", 1363], ["nuzzle", 1391], ["nuzzles", 1391], ["nuzzled", 1391], ["neck", 1405], ["necked", 1405], ["breathes", 1417], ["ask", 1442], ["question", 1456], ["ascribe", 1468], ["motive", 1480], ["croon", 1544], ["crooning", 1544], ["nibble", 1555], ["nibbling", 1555], ["behind", 1562], ["ear", 1570], ["deal", 1590], ["exclusivity", 1604], ["convenience", 1620], ["elijah", 1657], ["hand", 1666], ["hands", 1666], ["cup", 1673], ["cupped", 1673], ["shoulder", 1686], ["shouldered", 1686], ["blade", 1693], ["blades", 1693], ["keep", 1703], ["keepest", 1703], ["keeping", 1703], ["tilt", 1725], ["tilting", 1725], ["tilted", 1725], ["side", 1746], ["sidest", 1746], ["give", 1755], ["giving", 1755], ["total", 1765], ["access", 1772], ["accessest", 1772], ["thick", 1785], ["thickest", 1785], ["artery", 1792], ["carry", 1817], ["carried", 1817], ["life", 1826], ["lifes", 1826], ["blood", 1835], ["bloods", 1835], ["blooded", 1835], ["submissive", 1855], ["submissives", 1855], ["gesture", 1863], ["dominant", 1878], ["male", 1885], ["males", 1885], ["great", 1908], ["cost", 1913], ["know", 1924], ["knowest", 1924], ["knew", 1924], ["stir", 1932], ["stirs", 1932], ["stirred", 1932], ["hunter", 1955], ["stretch", 1972], ["stretched", 1972], ["anticipation", 1988], ["woman", 2006], ["womans", 2006], ["melt", 2020], ["meltest", 2020], ["melted", 2020], ["perfectly", 2037], ["gauge", 2044], ["gauged", 2044], ["stroke", 2052], ["strokes", 2052], ["tongue", 2066], ["tonguing", 2066], ["expertly", 2082], ["plump", 2090], ["plumps", 2090], ["plumped", 2090], ["vein", 2099], ["feel", 2110], ["felt", 2110], ["ow", 2122], ["hard", 2127], ["smile", 2142], ["smiled", 2142], ["know", 2160], ["knowest", 2160], ["vampire", 2170], ["bite", 2178], ["give", 2187], ["sweet", 2200], ["sexual", 2207], ["ecstasy", 2215], ["fed", 2262], ["feed", 2262], ["anyone", 2273], ["else", 2278], ["far", 2300], ["go", 2305], ["goest", 2305], ["gone", 2305], ["see", 2312], ["pleasure", 2329], ["vegas", 2338], ["please", 2357], ["get", 2378], ["got", 2378], ["warm", 2420], ["wonderful", 2434], ["slid", 2447], ["buttock", 2485], ["buttocks", 2485], ["rock", 2495], ["rocking", 2495], ["onto", 2504], ["ontos", 2504], ["rage", 2515], ["raging", 2515], ["erection", 2524], ["al", 2550], ["als", 2550], ["time", 2559], ["many", 2572], ["anyway", 2622], ["mind", 2638], ["minding", 2638], ["drag", 2658], ["dragged", 2658], ["fang", 2668], ["fangs", 2668], ["delicately", 2679], ["across", 2686], ["throat", 2697], ["fail", 2718], ["feel", 2726], ["fine", 2735], ["tremor", 2743], ["tremors", 2743], ["ripple", 2752], ["ripples", 2752], ["rippling", 2752], ["apex", 2785], ["predator", 2794], ["another", 2828], ["snack", 2846], ["snacking", 2846], ["man", 2865], ["mans", 2865], ["manned", 2865], ["retort", 2882], ["retortest", 2882], ["retorted", 2882], ["gruffly", 2890], ["lay", 2915], ["lie", 2915], ["lain", 2915], ["relax", 2928], ["relaxed", 2928], ["enjoy", 2940], ["enjoyed", 2940], ["ride", 2957], ["rode", 2957], ["riding", 2957], ["blew", 2979], ["blow", 2979], ["blowest", 2979], ["blowing", 2979], ["orgasm", 2986], ["orgasms", 2986], ["chauvinist", 3015], ["chauvinists", 3015], ["scold", 3032], ["scolds", 3032], ["scolded", 3032], ["laughter", 3046], ["voice", 3059], ["smile", 3075], ["fade", 3081], ["faded", 3081], ["pul", 3094], ["puli", 3094], ["ed", 3097], ["look", 3110], ["face", 3128], ["etch", 3139], ["etched", 3139], ["tense", 3150], ["line", 3156], ["lines", 3156], ["eye", 3169], ["eyed", 3169], ["eyes", 3169], ["jewel", 3185], ["jeweled", 3185], ["jewelled", 3185], ["see", 3199], ["saw", 3199], ["right", 3205], ["rightest", 3205], ["aglow", 3230], ["tease", 3252], ["beast", 3268], ["inside", 3275], ["struggle", 3294], ["struggling", 3294], ["food", 3310], ["foods", 3310], ["gentle", 3342], ["gentler", 3342], ["gentled", 3342], ["soothe", 3360], ["soothes", 3360], ["soothing", 3360], ["hair", 3398], ["wrist", 3460], ["quick", 3486], ["clean", 3496], ["cleans", 3496], ["prefer", 3528], ["prefered", 3528], ["preferest", 3528], ["den", 3551], ["turn", 3600], ["deep", 3661], ["deeply", 3661], ["rumble", 3674], ["rumbles", 3674], ["rumbling", 3674], ["nearly", 3683], ["snarl", 3691], ["snarls", 3691], ["catch", 3703], ["catches", 3703], ["catched", 3703], ["caught", 3703], ["yank", 3742], ["yanks", 3742], ["yanked", 3742], ["give", 3790], ["gives", 3790], ["need", 3808], ["needest", 3808], ["close", 3818], ["suck", 3840], ["sucking", 3840], ["sucked", 3840], ["shaky", 3858], ["breath", 3865], ["breathest", 3865], ["find", 3875], ["found", 3875], ["focus", 3885], ["paramount", 3919], ["eat", 3940], ["understand", 3965], ["understanded", 3965], ["understood", 3965], ["gift", 3974], ["violate", 4017], ["violated", 4017], ["core", 4031], ["take", 4063], ["taking", 4063], ["penetration", 4089], ["take", 4094], ["took", 4094], ["alpha", 4112], ["alphas", 4112], ["adjust", 4127], ["bore", 4151], ["bear", 4151], ["bearest", 4151], ["regret", 4172], ["fed", 4180], ["feed", 4180], ["feeding", 4180], ["honest", 4208], ["admit", 4226], ["hope", 4236], ["hoped", 4236], ["enough", 4258]]
i 'm just grateful that i still have lead in my pencil . '' colin almost choked on his cheese-filled pastry . `` do n't hurt yourself , son . '' colin swallowed the last of the pastry and wiped the moisture from his eyes . `` by the way , i 'm also grateful that you and luna have n't instituted any rules against fraternizing among the staff members . '' `` would it matter if we did ? '' we 'd just get sneaky about it . '' `` the dynamic around here is better , now that dulcie and i have something going . sexual frustration makes folks cranky . i do believe i suffered from that problem a bit , although i doubt anyone noticed . '' `` i doubt they did . '' colin controlled the urge to laugh . the rest of the staff was overjoyed that prickly hector had been replaced by mellow hector . dulcie seemed quite happy with the turn of events , too . `` it 's all coming together , '' hector said . `` sybil 's ready to take over temporarily when you and luna are in scotland , and janet gets a kick out of bossing around her new recruits in the kitchen . '' `` geraldine would have loved this . '' luna walked over , smiling as she approached . `` what would geraldine have loved ? '' hector swept an arm to encompass a landscape filled with cheerful guests against a backdrop of green grass , flowers , the bright sea , and a magnificent castle . `` she intended to fill this place with family , and when that did n't happen , i do n't think she knew how to correct the situation . '' he gazed at luna . luna flushed with obvious pleasure . `` thank the laird of glenbarra for taking a chance on me . '' colin knew an opening when he heard one . walking toward her , he held out his hand . `` and i want to thank the lady of glenbarra for taking an even bigger chance ... `` he drew her close . `` ah , go ahead and kiss her , '' hector said . `` it 'll do you both good . '' `` i believe it will , at that . '' leaning down , colin savored the sweetness of luna 's mouth for as long as he dared . `` later , lass . '' with a knowing smile , she returned to her guests . hector gave him a sly wink . `` nice to know you have lead in your pencil , is n't it ? '' colin willed his erection to subside . `` except when you 're wearing a bloody kilt . '' hector 's laughter was contagious , and soon colin was laughing with him . yes , he thought , geraldine would have loved this . chapter 1 werecon2012 : howlers challenge woofers exclusive wereworld celebrity watch report by angela sapworthy denver-excitement mounts on the eve of this landmark conference , the first of its kind in werewolf history . a star-studded list of attendees from the far reaches of the globe has been invited by pack leader elizabeth stillman to gather at the elegant stillman lodge in estes park near denver to debate the conference theme , `` our future in a changing environment . '' as readers of wcw know , opinion is sharply divided on the topic . weres have rebounded after being hunted nearly to extinction , but their presence as a significant economic force in all the major cities in the world remains unknown to the human community . honored conference guest and eligible bachelor and scotsman duncan macdowell , younger brother of macdowell pack leader , colin macdowell , wants that to change . in may , he founded werewolves optimizing our future ( woof ) , and his wildly popular blog , wolf whistles , champions his belief that wolves should stop hiding their shape-shifting abilities , openly partner with humans in business , and even consider interspecies mating . obviously human females would rally to that cause if every male were looked like duncan macdowell in a kilt ! but not all weres are ready to climb on board duncan 's tartan-clad bandwagon . this summer the were blogosphere heated up as denver-based kate stillman , granddaughter of elizabeth stillman , launched honoring our werewolf legacy ( howl ) . her well-known dating web site , furthebest.com , celebrates were-were mating as the only way to go . kate , who claims she 's never dated a human , advocates the beauty of tradition and the safety of keeping our secret secure . but is the tide turning in duncan 's favor ? this reporter recently spoke to the wallace brothers of new york , both of whom shocked the were community last year by taking human mates . from all indications , their human brides are blissfully happy . and why not , if they share an address with sexy wolves like aidan and roarke wallace ?	[["grateful", 18], ["still", 31], ["lead", 41], ["leaded", 41], ["pencil", 54], ["colin", 65], ["almost", 72], ["choke", 79], ["choked", 79], ["cheese", 93], ["cheesed", 93], ["cheesing", 93], ["fill", 100], ["fills", 100], ["filled", 100], ["pastry", 107], ["hurt", 124], ["hurts", 124], ["hurting", 124], ["son", 139], ["swallow", 160], ["swallows", 160], ["swallowed", 160], ["last", 169], ["wipe", 193], ["wiped", 193], ["moisture", 206], ["eye", 220], ["eyed", 220], ["eyes", 220], ["way", 236], ["ways", 236], ["also", 248], ["luna", 275], ["institute", 295], ["institutes", 295], ["instituted", 295], ["rule", 305], ["rules", 305], ["among", 332], ["staff", 342], ["staffing", 342], ["member", 350], ["members", 350], ["matter", 374], ["mattering", 374], ["get", 404], ["sneaky", 411], ["dynamic", 440], ["around", 447], ["well", 462], ["wells", 462], ["go", 507], ["goest", 507], ["going", 507], ["sexual", 516], ["frustration", 528], ["folk", 540], ["folks", 540], ["cranky", 547], ["believe", 562], ["suffer", 573], ["suffering", 573], ["suffered", 573], ["problem", 591], ["bit", 597], ["bits", 597], ["although", 608], ["doubt", 616], ["anyone", 623], ["notice", 631], ["noticed", 631], ["control", 678], ["controlled", 678], ["urge", 687], ["laugh", 696], ["rest", 707], ["prickly", 747], ["hector", 754], ["replace", 772], ["replaced", 772], ["mellow", 782], ["mellowing", 782], ["seem", 805], ["seeming", 805], ["seemed", 805], ["quite", 811], ["happy", 817], ["turn", 831], ["event", 841], ["events", 841], ["come", 869], ["coming", 869], ["together", 878], ["say", 895], ["sayest", 895], ["said", 895], ["sybil", 906], ["ready", 915], ["take", 923], ["temporarily", 940], ["scotland", 974], ["janet", 986], ["janets", 986], ["get", 991], ["gets", 991], ["kick", 998], ["boss", 1013], ["bossing", 1013], ["new", 1028], ["recruit", 1037], ["recruitest", 1037], ["recruits", 1037], ["kitchen", 1052], ["kitchens", 1052], ["geraldine", 1070], ["love", 1087], ["loved", 1087], ["walk", 1109], ["walked", 1109], ["smile", 1124], ["smiling", 1124], ["approach", 1142], ["approaches", 1142], ["approached", 1142], ["sweep", 1197], ["swept", 1197], ["arm", 1204], ["encompass", 1217], ["landscape", 1229], ["cheerful", 1250], ["guest", 1257], ["guestest", 1257], ["guests", 1257], ["backdrop", 1276], ["green", 1285], ["greens", 1285], ["grass", 1291], ["grassing", 1291], ["flower", 1301], ["flowers", 1301], ["bright", 1314], ["brights", 1314], ["sea", 1318], ["magnificent", 1338], ["castle", 1345], ["castles", 1345], ["intend", 1363], ["intendest", 1363], ["intended", 1363], ["fill", 1371], ["fills", 1371], ["place", 1382], ["family", 1394], ["happen", 1425], ["think", 1442], ["thinkest", 1442], ["know", 1451], ["knowest", 1451], ["knew", 1451], ["correct", 1466], ["situation", 1480], ["gaze", 1494], ["gazes", 1494], ["gazed", 1494], ["flush", 1517], ["flushed", 1517], ["obvious", 1530], ["pleasure", 1539], ["thank", 1550], ["thanks", 1550], ["thankest", 1550], ["laird", 1560], ["take", 1584], ["taking", 1584], ["chance", 1593], ["chanced", 1593], ["chancing", 1593], ["opening", 1626], ["hear", 1640], ["hears", 1640], ["heard", 1640], ["walk", 1654], ["walking", 1654], ["toward", 1661], ["hold", 1675], ["held", 1675], ["hand", 1688], ["lady", 1722], ["even", 1754], ["evens", 1754], ["big", 1761], ["bigs", 1761], ["bigger", 1761], ["draw", 1783], ["draws", 1783], ["drawn", 1783], ["drew", 1783], ["close", 1793], ["ah", 1801], ["go", 1806], ["goest", 1806], ["ahead", 1812], ["kiss", 1821], ["kisses", 1821], ["kissest", 1821], ["good", 1871], ["lean", 1920], ["leans", 1920], ["leaning", 1920], ["savor", 1941], ["savoring", 1941], ["savored", 1941], ["sweetness", 1955], ["mouth", 1972], ["mouthed", 1972], ["long", 1984], ["longs", 1984], ["dare", 1996], ["dared", 1996], ["later", 2007], ["lass", 2014], ["know", 2034], ["knowest", 2034], ["knowing", 2034], ["smile", 2040], ["return", 2055], ["returnest", 2055], ["returned", 2055], ["give", 2083], ["gave", 2083], ["sly", 2093], ["wink", 2098], ["winks", 2098], ["winkest", 2098], ["nice", 2108], ["know", 2116], ["knowest", 2116], ["erection", 2188], ["subside", 2199], ["subsided", 2199], ["subsiding", 2199], ["except", 2211], ["wear", 2232], ["wearing", 2232], ["bloody", 2241], ["bloodying", 2241], ["kilt", 2246], ["kilts", 2246], ["laughter", 2270], ["contagious", 2285], ["soon", 2296], ["laugh", 2315], ["laughing", 2315], ["yes", 2330], ["think", 2343], ["thinkest", 2343], ["thought", 2343], ["chapter", 2387], ["howlers", 2411], ["challenge", 2421], ["exclusive", 2439], ["celebrity", 2459], ["watch", 2465], ["report", 2472], ["angela", 2482], ["denver", 2499], ["excitement", 2510], ["mount", 2517], ["mounted", 2517], ["mountest", 2517], ["mounts", 2517], ["eve", 2528], ["landmark", 2545], ["conference", 2556], ["conferencing", 2556], ["first", 2568], ["firstest", 2568], ["kind", 2580], ["werewolf", 2592], ["history", 2600], ["star", 2609], ["starred", 2609], ["stud", 2617], ["studs", 2617], ["studded", 2617], ["list", 2622], ["attendee", 2635], ["attendees", 2635], ["far", 2648], ["reach", 2656], ["reaches", 2656], ["globe", 2669], ["invite", 2686], ["invites", 2686], ["invited", 2686], ["pack", 2694], ["elizabeth", 2711], ["gather", 2730], ["gatherest", 2730], ["elegant", 2745], ["lodge", 2760], ["park", 2774], ["parks", 2774], ["near", 2779], ["debate", 2796], ["theme", 2817], ["themes", 2817], ["themed", 2817], ["future", 2833], ["change", 2847], ["changing", 2847], ["environment", 2859], ["reader", 2875], ["readers", 2875], ["opinion", 2897], ["sharply", 2908], ["divide", 2916], ["divided", 2916], ["topic", 2929], ["rebound", 2952], ["rebounded", 2952], ["hunt", 2971], ["hunting", 2971], ["huntest", 2971], ["hunted", 2971], ["nearly", 2978], ["extinction", 2992], ["presence", 3013], ["significant", 3030], ["economic", 3039], ["force", 3045], ["major", 3062], ["city", 3069], ["cities", 3069], ["world", 3082], ["remain", 3090], ["remains", 3090], ["unknown", 3098], ["unknowns", 3098], ["human", 3111], ["community", 3121], ["guest", 3148], ["guestest", 3148], ["eligible", 3161], ["bachelor", 3170], ["scotsman", 3183], ["duncan", 3190], ["macdowell", 3200], ["young", 3210], ["youngest", 3210], ["brother", 3218], ["brethren", 3218], ["change", 3284], ["may", 3293], ["mays", 3293], ["mayest", 3293], ["found", 3306], ["foundest", 3306], ["founded", 3306], ["werewolf", 3317], ["werewolves", 3317], ["optimize", 3328], ["optimizing", 3328], ["woof", 3346], ["woofs", 3346], ["wildly", 3365], ["popular", 3373], ["blog", 3378], ["wolf", 3385], ["champion", 3406], ["champions", 3406], ["belief", 3417], ["wolf", 3429], ["wolves", 3429], ["stop", 3441], ["hide", 3448], ["hides", 3448], ["shape", 3460], ["shapes", 3460], ["shift", 3469], ["shifting", 3469], ["ability", 3479], ["abilities", 3479], ["openly", 3488], ["partner", 3496], ["human", 3508], ["humans", 3508], ["business", 3520], ["consider", 3540], ["interspecies", 3553], ["mate", 3560], ["mated", 3560], ["mating", 3560], ["obviously", 3572], ["female", 3586], ["females", 3586], ["rally", 3598], ["rallying", 3598], ["cause", 3612], ["every", 3621], ["male", 3626], ["males", 3626], ["look", 3638], ["looked", 3638], ["like", 3643], ["climb", 3709], ["board", 3718], ["boarding", 3718], ["tartan", 3735], ["clad", 3740], ["clothe", 3740], ["bandwagon", 3750], ["summer", 3764], ["summering", 3764], ["blogosphere", 3785], ["heat", 3792], ["heats", 3792], ["heated", 3792], ["base", 3811], ["basest", 3811], ["based", 3811], ["kate", 3816], ["granddaughter", 3841], ["launch", 3874], ["launched", 3874], ["honor", 3883], ["honoring", 3883], ["legacy", 3903], ["howl", 3910], ["howls", 3910], ["howlest", 3910], ["well", 3923], ["wells", 3923], ["know", 3929], ["knowest", 3929], ["known", 3929], ["web", 3940], ["site", 3945], ["siting", 3945], ["celebrate", 3975], ["celebrates", 3975], ["claim", 4034], ["claims", 4034], ["never", 4047], ["date", 4053], ["dated", 4053], ["advocate", 4073], ["advocated", 4073], ["advocates", 4073], ["beauty", 4084], ["tradition", 4097], ["safety", 4112], ["keep", 4123], ["keepest", 4123], ["keeping", 4123], ["secret", 4134], ["secure", 4141], ["securest", 4141], ["tide", 4159], ["tides", 4159], ["tiding", 4159], ["turn", 4167], ["turning", 4167], ["favor", 4186], ["favorest", 4186], ["recently", 4211], ["speak", 4217], ["spoken", 4217], ["spoke", 4217], ["wallace", 4232], ["york", 4253], ["yorks", 4253], ["shock", 4276], ["shocked", 4276], ["year", 4305], ["mate", 4327], ["mated", 4327], ["mates", 4327], ["indication", 4350], ["indications", 4350], ["bride", 4371], ["brides", 4371], ["blissfully", 4386], ["share", 4422], ["address", 4433], ["sexy", 4443], ["aidan", 4461]]
i could n't figure it out except that maybe a union strike had ended and everyone was back on the job . whatever had made the animals come back to the woods , i was grateful for the company as i stepped off the porch and looked around . there was the pond ahead of me , but my eyes caught sight of a familiar trail to my right . if my memory served me that led to another clearing like mine , but rather than a house there was a small wood cabin . settlers had built it two hundred years before , but when i had visited with my folks the place was deserted by all but the forest creatures . the trees had grown up all around it and nestled their branches against its walls and atop its roof . i 'd scampered through the door in search of treasures and found a few broken bits of pottery and a fork . i kept and treasured those all these years , and now they lay in one of my boxes awaiting unpacking . they were to be placed in the spot of honor on the mantel . my heart leapt when i thought of what other treasures i could find in that bare cabin and proudly display on my mantel . i did n't have any friends to show off the things , but it would still be neat to search and dig up lost treasures . i hurried down the path with my thoughts full of hidden teacups and pitchers . chapter 5 the path itself was surprisingly well-used , and i guessed the hunters and their prey traveled along the trail regularly . no branches tapped my head , and no brush brushed against my coat sleeves as i walked onward . the trail wound its way up a slight incline , and the trees off the path were so thick that i quickly lost sight of my cabin . onward and upward i went as the day threatened to turn into night . i 'd forgotten how far the old settler 's cabin was from mine , and after a half hour and no clearing in sight i paused to assess the situation . the air was thinner up there , and i doubled over and gasped for the precious life-gas . as i stood there gasping my eyes caught on something stuck to a nearby bush . i grasped the tan , soft object and held it up to the dwindling light . it was a clump of fur like a dog 's , but as soft as a down pillow . it could have come off the dog of a hunter , but the fur had been trapped on was three feet above the ground . the dog must have jumped at something to get its fur stuck that high . there came a faint thwack as metal met wood . i pocketed the fur in my coat jacket and whipped my head from left to right . the noise echoed through the trees again , and i realized it was ahead of me . i tiptoed forward and just around the bend was the meadow i 'd been dreaming about with its quaint settler cabin . unfortunately , my dreams were dashed when i saw that the area had been cleared of all its trees thirty yards from the cabin . the culprit of this atrocity to my childhood memories was a handsome man of thirty who stood near the path . he wore a thick woolen shirt , boots , and dirty jeans , and his unruly brown hair was short and matched his eyes . everything would have been perfect but for his long hair and unruly bear . in his hands was the tell-tale ax , and in front of him stood a tree a foot thick , but with a chewed triangle at the base of the trunk where his ax had bitten into its flesh . at the sight of such carnage my heart sank . my childish dreams were shattered , and all because of this handsome man . this stranger could have been an angel , a god , or other celestial-beings-that-he-was-not . i grudgingly admitted that he was nearly all of those things , but because he had shattered my childhood memories he needed to die . or have a talking to because i was pretty sure some of this damage was my property . i balled my hands into fists and marched up to the ax-wielding fiend . then i remembered he was an ax-wielding fiend and stopped my march five yards from him . he paused in his destruction , shouldered the ax and smiled at me . i swear his teeth shimmered like in those toothpaste commercials . `` people generally call this tool an ax , and i use it to clear the land around my cabin , '' he told me . `` you 're cabin ? '' `` well , that 's what the deed says , '' he replied . `` well , i have a deed that says this cabin is on my property , '' i insisted . the man leaned his ax against the half-cut tree and clapped his hands together . he offered one of them to me . `` you must be the other owner of the johnson property . my name 's adam smith . i ignored his hand . `` what do you mean 'other owner ? ' '' smith dropped his hand , but not his smile . `` mr. johnson 's land had two parcels .	[["figure", 18], ["except", 32], ["maybe", 43], ["union", 51], ["strike", 58], ["end", 68], ["ends", 68], ["endest", 68], ["ended", 68], ["everyone", 81], ["back", 90], ["job", 101], ["jobbing", 101], ["whatever", 112], ["animal", 133], ["animals", 133], ["come", 138], ["wood", 156], ["woods", 156], ["grateful", 173], ["company", 189], ["companys", 189], ["companying", 189], ["step", 202], ["stepped", 202], ["porch", 216], ["look", 227], ["looked", 227], ["around", 234], ["pond", 255], ["ahead", 261], ["eye", 281], ["eyed", 281], ["eyes", 281], ["catch", 288], ["catches", 288], ["catched", 288], ["caught", 288], ["sight", 294], ["sighted", 294], ["familiar", 308], ["trail", 314], ["right", 326], ["rightest", 326], ["memory", 341], ["memories", 341], ["serve", 348], ["served", 348], ["lead", 360], ["leaded", 360], ["led", 360], ["another", 371], ["clearing", 380], ["like", 385], ["mine", 390], ["rather", 403], ["house", 416], ["small", 434], ["wood", 439], ["cabin", 445], ["settler", 456], ["settlers", 456], ["build", 466], ["builds", 466], ["built", 466], ["two", 473], ["twos", 473], ["hundred", 481], ["year", 487], ["years", 487], ["visit", 519], ["visited", 519], ["folk", 533], ["folks", 533], ["place", 543], ["desert", 556], ["deserted", 556], ["forest", 578], ["creature", 588], ["creatures", 588], ["tree", 600], ["treed", 600], ["treeing", 600], ["trees", 600], ["grow", 610], ["growest", 610], ["grown", 610], ["nestle", 639], ["nestles", 639], ["nestled", 639], ["branch", 654], ["branchest", 654], ["branches", 654], ["wall", 672], ["walls", 672], ["atop", 681], ["roof", 690], ["roofs", 690], ["roofing", 690], ["scamper", 707], ["scampered", 707], ["door", 724], ["search", 734], ["treasure", 747], ["treasures", 747], ["find", 757], ["found", 757], ["bit", 775], ["bits", 775], ["pottery", 786], ["fork", 797], ["keep", 806], ["keepest", 806], ["kept", 806], ["treasure", 820], ["treasured", 820], ["lay", 861], ["lie", 861], ["lain", 861], ["box", 880], ["boxed", 880], ["boxes", 880], ["await", 889], ["awaits", 889], ["awaiting", 889], ["unpack", 899], ["unpacking", 899], ["place", 924], ["placed", 924], ["spot", 936], ["honor", 945], ["mantel", 959], ["mantels", 959], ["heart", 970], ["leap", 976], ["leaps", 976], ["leaping", 976], ["think", 991], ["thinkest", 991], ["thought", 991], ["find", 1028], ["bare", 1041], ["proudly", 1059], ["display", 1067], ["friend", 1109], ["friends", 1109], ["show", 1117], ["thing", 1132], ["things", 1132], ["still", 1153], ["neat", 1161], ["neats", 1161], ["dug", 1179], ["dig", 1179], ["digs", 1179], ["digest", 1179], ["lose", 1187], ["lost", 1187], ["hurry", 1209], ["hurried", 1209], ["hurryed", 1209], ["hurrying", 1209], ["path", 1223], ["thought", 1240], ["thoughts", 1240], ["full", 1245], ["hide", 1255], ["hides", 1255], ["hidden", 1255], ["teacup", 1263], ["teacups", 1263], ["pitcher", 1276], ["pitchers", 1276], ["chapter", 1286], ["surprisingly", 1321], ["well", 1326], ["wells", 1326], ["use", 1331], ["used", 1331], ["guess", 1347], ["guessed", 1347], ["hunter", 1359], ["hunters", 1359], ["prey", 1374], ["travel", 1383], ["traveled", 1383], ["along", 1389], ["regularly", 1409], ["tap", 1430], ["tapped", 1430], ["head", 1438], ["brush", 1453], ["brushest", 1453], ["brush", 1461], ["brushest", 1461], ["brushed", 1461], ["coat", 1477], ["sleeve", 1485], ["sleeving", 1485], ["sleeves", 1485], ["walk", 1497], ["walked", 1497], ["onward", 1504], ["wind", 1522], ["way", 1530], ["ways", 1530], ["slight", 1542], ["incline", 1550], ["inclines", 1550], ["thick", 1593], ["thickest", 1593], ["quickly", 1608], ["upward", 1651], ["go", 1658], ["goest", 1658], ["went", 1658], ["day", 1669], ["threaten", 1680], ["threatened", 1680], ["turn", 1688], ["night", 1699], ["forget", 1716], ["forgot", 1716], ["forgotten", 1716], ["far", 1724], ["old", 1732], ["settler", 1740], ["half", 1782], ["hour", 1787], ["pause", 1821], ["paused", 1821], ["assess", 1831], ["situation", 1845], ["air", 1855], ["airs", 1855], ["airing", 1855], ["thinner", 1867], ["double", 1892], ["doubled", 1892], ["gasp", 1908], ["gasps", 1908], ["gasped", 1908], ["precious", 1925], ["life", 1930], ["lifes", 1930], ["gas", 1934], ["gassing", 1934], ["stood", 1947], ["stand", 1947], ["standest", 1947], ["gasp", 1961], ["gasps", 1961], ["nearby", 2007], ["bush", 2012], ["bushed", 2012], ["grasp", 2024], ["grasped", 2024], ["grasping", 2024], ["tan", 2032], ["soft", 2039], ["object", 2046], ["objected", 2046], ["objecting", 2046], ["objectest", 2046], ["hold", 2055], ["held", 2055], ["dwindle", 2078], ["dwindling", 2078], ["lit", 2084], ["light", 2084], ["clump", 2101], ["clumping", 2101], ["fur", 2108], ["dog", 2119], ["pillow", 2153], ["hunter", 2198], ["trap", 2229], ["trapped", 2229], ["three", 2242], ["foot", 2247], ["feet", 2247], ["ground", 2264], ["must", 2279], ["musts", 2279], ["jump", 2291], ["jumps", 2291], ["jumped", 2291], ["get", 2311], ["stick", 2325], ["stickest", 2325], ["stuck", 2325], ["high", 2335], ["come", 2348], ["came", 2348], ["faint", 2356], ["thwack", 2363], ["thwacking", 2363], ["metal", 2372], ["meet", 2376], ["meeted", 2376], ["met", 2376], ["pocket", 2394], ["pocketing", 2394], ["pocketed", 2394], ["jacket", 2420], ["jacketed", 2420], ["whip", 2432], ["whipped", 2432], ["left", 2450], ["leave", 2450], ["noise", 2471], ["echo", 2478], ["echoed", 2478], ["realize", 2519], ["realized", 2519], ["tiptoe", 2550], ["tiptoed", 2550], ["forward", 2558], ["forwardest", 2558], ["forwarding", 2558], ["bend", 2583], ["bent", 2583], ["meadow", 2598], ["dream", 2617], ["dreamt", 2617], ["dreamest", 2617], ["dreaming", 2617], ["quaint", 2639], ["unfortunately", 2669], ["dream", 2681], ["dreamt", 2681], ["dreamest", 2681], ["dreams", 2681], ["dash", 2693], ["dashed", 2693], ["see", 2704], ["saw", 2704], ["area", 2718], ["clear", 2735], ["clearest", 2735], ["cleared", 2735], ["thirty", 2759], ["yard", 2765], ["yards", 2765], ["culprit", 2794], ["atrocity", 2811], ["childhood", 2827], ["memory", 2836], ["memories", 2836], ["handsome", 2851], ["handsomes", 2851], ["man", 2855], ["mans", 2855], ["manned", 2855], ["near", 2880], ["wear", 2899], ["wore", 2899], ["woolen", 2914], ["shirt", 2920], ["boot", 2928], ["boots", 2928], ["dirty", 2940], ["jean", 2946], ["jeans", 2946], ["unruly", 2963], ["brown", 2969], ["browns", 2969], ["hair", 2974], ["short", 2984], ["match", 2996], ["matching", 2996], ["matched", 2996], ["everything", 3018], ["perfect", 3042], ["perfectest", 3042], ["long", 3059], ["longs", 3059], ["bore", 3080], ["bear", 3080], ["bearest", 3080], ["hand", 3095], ["hands", 3095], ["tell", 3108], ["tale", 3113], ["ax", 3116], ["front", 3131], ["tree", 3151], ["treed", 3151], ["treeing", 3151], ["foot", 3158], ["triangle", 3193], ["base", 3205], ["basest", 3205], ["trunk", 3218], ["bitten", 3242], ["flesh", 3257], ["fleshest", 3257], ["carnage", 3288], ["sink", 3302], ["sank", 3302], ["childish", 3316], ["shatter", 3338], ["shattered", 3338], ["stranger", 3393], ["angel", 3418], ["god", 3426], ["celestial", 3447], ["grudgingly", 3485], ["admit", 3494], ["admitted", 3494], ["nearly", 3513], ["need", 3596], ["needest", 3596], ["needed", 3596], ["die", 3603], ["pretty", 3647], ["prettiest", 3647], ["sure", 3652], ["damage", 3672], ["damaging", 3672], ["property", 3688], ["ball", 3699], ["balled", 3699], ["fist", 3719], ["fists", 3719], ["march", 3731], ["marching", 3731], ["marched", 3731], ["fiend", 3759], ["remember", 3779], ["rememberest", 3779], ["remembered", 3779], ["wield", 3801], ["wielding", 3801], ["stop", 3819], ["stopped", 3819], ["march", 3828], ["marching", 3828], ["five", 3833], ["fived", 3833], ["destruction", 3879], ["shoulder", 3892], ["shouldered", 3892], ["smile", 3910], ["smiled", 3910], ["swear", 3926], ["sweared", 3926], ["tooth", 3936], ["teeth", 3936], ["shimmer", 3946], ["shimmering", 3946], ["shimmered", 3946], ["toothpaste", 3971], ["commercial", 3983], ["commercials", 3983], ["people", 3995], ["generally", 4005], ["call", 4010], ["tool", 4020], ["use", 4038], ["clear", 4050], ["clearest", 4050], ["land", 4059], ["tell", 4088], ["told", 4088], ["deed", 4147], ["say", 4152], ["sayest", 4152], ["says", 4152], ["reply", 4168], ["replied", 4168], ["insist", 4249], ["insistest", 4249], ["insisted", 4249], ["lean", 4266], ["leans", 4266], ["leaned", 4266], ["cut", 4294], ["clap", 4311], ["clapped", 4311], ["together", 4330], ["offer", 4343], ["offered", 4343], ["owner", 4394], ["johnson", 4409], ["name", 4428], ["adam", 4436], ["adams", 4436], ["smith", 4442], ["ignore", 4454], ["ignored", 4454], ["hand", 4463], ["mean", 4485], ["meanest", 4485], ["drop", 4519], ["dropped", 4519], ["smile", 4548], ["mr", 4556], ["parcel", 4589], ["parceled", 4589], ["parcelled", 4589], ["parcels", 4589]]
when i got here , it took a lot of persuasion to get past your guards . once i proved i wasnt here to harm you , i went to work on lifting the spell , she explained . im sure i dont have to tell you the spell the warlock cast wasnt an extremely nice one . id already heard about it , so no i wasnt surprised . i focused on something else shed said instead of asking for more information about the spell . i doubted id understand anything she had to say on the subject . eva actually called ? i wasnt aware she could even use a phone . she doesnt seem to be in touch with modern technology . i thought about her reaction to the furby , and wondered what shed do with a smart phone . well , it wasnt really a telephone call . i was getting a little practice in with my scrying bowl and the message came through loud and clear . ive never had something happen so clearly , so i knew it had to be important . you must have very powerful friends . i wonder why she didnt remove the spell herself . shes a powerful being , but she isnt a sorceress . shes actually one of the three fates . it didnt feel like much of a secret anymore , and nadine had already had contact with her . youre friends with the giver of life ? when i looked at her questioningly , she added , thats what eva means . unless the fates have gone loopy and changed their names around , theres only one you could be speaking of . ive heard they like to have fun , but their gifts arent something they mess around with . well , shes pretty loopy , but she claims to be the fate you mentioned . for some reason , she believes were great friends , which i have no memory of . for her to contact a low on the ladder sorceress like me to come and help you , i imagine youre really close friends . usually the gods and goddesses of her days dont even bother with this world anymore , she said . she was sending me to you when we were done with the warlock who attacked me . im a little new to the whole sorceress thing , and she thought you could help me with some training , i explained . i would be honored , she replied . id like to know why you didnt call to me the second you woke up , nate said , entering the room . hi , sugar britches . he hurried over and set the coffee mug hed brought on the bedside table . then he swept me into his arms for a big hug and a million kisses over any bare skin he could find . ill leave you two alone for a little while , i heard nadine say before she exited the room . shackles , im telling you shackles , he said when he finally got done covering me in kisses . i half expected to wake up in them . so , whats the damage ; how long have i been out ? eighty-five hours , twenty-two minutes and six seconds , he replied . so youre telling me you werent really keeping track . im guessing the evil warlocks from the battle were all defeated , i said , wanting to get caught up from the moment i checked out . yeah , we tortured that last one for a little while for what he did to you . we all took a turn at hacking him into little bits before finally burning him up , he said as he snuggled into the bed with me , so he was sitting behind me and i was kind of lying slash sitting on top of him . as he was moving around , he lifted his hand to display a box . remembering the box as my birthday gift from eva , i took it from him and unwrapped it without saying anything . i opened the lid on it and found my phoenix necklace inside . nate asked , sounding like he was shocked to see it . eva just returned it to me , i said , putting it on . the second i did , i started seeing flashes of my past life . i wasnt expecting them and they came hard and fast . when they finally stopped i said , dang it , that isnt fair . thats the necklace i gave to you at our first soul-bonding ceremony . i spent years making it , hoping to get it just right , he said . i know and thats what isnt fair . i wanted us to get married in a few weeks without me remembering you . that sneaky eva tricked me and gave me back all those memories . my vision started to blur a little bit as tears started multiplying . wait , you remember me ? no , im not joking , and dont you be happy about it for even a second , because i most definitely am not . why couldnt she wait and give it to me as a wedding present or something . i swear the next time she pops up , im throwing my most powerful fireball at her , i said grumpily . it was all just a defense mechanism to get the tears to stop .	[["get", 10], ["got", 10], ["take", 25], ["took", 25], ["lot", 31], ["persuasion", 45], ["get", 52], ["past", 57], ["guard", 69], ["guards", 69], ["prof", 85], ["prove", 85], ["proved", 85], ["harm", 106], ["harmest", 106], ["go", 119], ["goest", 119], ["went", 119], ["work", 127], ["wrought", 127], ["lift", 138], ["spelt", 148], ["spell", 148], ["explain", 164], ["explained", 164], ["sure", 174], ["tell", 194], ["warlock", 220], ["cast", 225], ["casts", 225], ["extremely", 244], ["nice", 249], ["already", 266], ["hear", 272], ["hears", 272], ["heard", 272], ["focus", 319], ["focused", 319], ["else", 337], ["shed", 342], ["say", 347], ["sayest", 347], ["said", 347], ["instead", 355], ["ask", 365], ["asking", 365], ["information", 386], ["doubt", 414], ["doubted", 414], ["understand", 428], ["understanded", 428], ["anything", 437], ["say", 452], ["sayest", 452], ["subject", 467], ["subjectest", 467], ["eva", 473], ["call", 489], ["called", 489], ["aware", 505], ["even", 520], ["evens", 520], ["use", 524], ["phone", 532], ["seem", 550], ["seeming", 550], ["touch", 565], ["touching", 565], ["modern", 577], ["technology", 588], ["think", 600], ["thinkest", 600], ["thought", 600], ["reaction", 619], ["furby", 632], ["wonder", 647], ["wonderest", 647], ["wondered", 647], ["smart", 673], ["well", 686], ["wells", 686], ["really", 704], ["telephone", 716], ["call", 721], ["get", 737], ["getting", 737], ["little", 746], ["practice", 755], ["bowl", 779], ["bowling", 779], ["message", 795], ["come", 800], ["came", 800], ["loud", 813], ["clear", 823], ["clearest", 823], ["never", 835], ["happen", 856], ["clearly", 867], ["know", 879], ["knowest", 879], ["knew", 879], ["important", 902], ["must", 913], ["musts", 913], ["powerful", 932], ["friend", 940], ["friends", 940], ["wonder", 951], ["wonderest", 951], ["remove", 972], ["sorceress", 1041], ["three", 1074], ["fate", 1080], ["fates", 1080], ["feel", 1096], ["like", 1101], ["much", 1106], ["secret", 1118], ["anymore", 1126], ["nadine", 1139], ["contact", 1163], ["giver", 1203], ["life", 1211], ["lifes", 1211], ["look", 1227], ["looked", 1227], ["questioningly", 1248], ["add", 1260], ["added", 1260], ["mean", 1283], ["meanest", 1283], ["means", 1283], ["unless", 1292], ["unlesss", 1292], ["go", 1312], ["goest", 1312], ["gone", 1312], ["loopy", 1318], ["change", 1330], ["changed", 1330], ["name", 1342], ["names", 1342], ["around", 1349], ["speak", 1389], ["spoken", 1389], ["speaking", 1389], ["fun", 1426], ["gift", 1444], ["gifts", 1444], ["mess", 1470], ["messed", 1470], ["messing", 1470], ["pretty", 1503], ["prettiest", 1503], ["claim", 1526], ["claims", 1526], ["fate", 1541], ["mention", 1555], ["mentioned", 1555], ["reason", 1573], ["reasonest", 1573], ["believe", 1588], ["believes", 1588], ["great", 1599], ["memory", 1632], ["memories", 1632], ["low", 1662], ["lowed", 1662], ["ladder", 1676], ["laddered", 1676], ["come", 1702], ["help", 1711], ["helpest", 1711], ["imagine", 1727], ["close", 1746], ["usually", 1764], ["god", 1773], ["gods", 1773], ["goddess", 1787], ["goddesses", 1787], ["day", 1799], ["days", 1799], ["bother", 1816], ["bothers", 1816], ["bothering", 1816], ["world", 1832], ["send", 1869], ["sending", 1869], ["attack", 1927], ["attacked", 1927], ["new", 1948], ["whole", 1961], ["wholes", 1961], ["thing", 1977], ["training", 2032], ["honor", 2067], ["honored", 2067], ["reply", 2081], ["replied", 2081], ["know", 2099], ["knowest", 2099], ["second", 2135], ["seconded", 2135], ["wake", 2144], ["wakes", 2144], ["woken", 2144], ["woke", 2144], ["nate", 2154], ["nates", 2154], ["enter", 2170], ["entering", 2170], ["room", 2179], ["roomed", 2179], ["hi", 2184], ["sugar", 2192], ["sugars", 2192], ["britches", 2201], ["hurry", 2214], ["hurried", 2214], ["hurryed", 2214], ["hurrying", 2214], ["set", 2227], ["coffee", 2238], ["mug", 2242], ["bring", 2254], ["brought", 2254], ["bedside", 2269], ["table", 2275], ["tabled", 2275], ["tabling", 2275], ["sweep", 2291], ["swept", 2291], ["arm", 2308], ["arms", 2308], ["big", 2318], ["bigs", 2318], ["hug", 2322], ["million", 2336], ["kiss", 2343], ["kisses", 2343], ["kissest", 2343], ["bare", 2357], ["skin", 2362], ["find", 2376], ["ill", 2382], ["ills", 2382], ["illest", 2382], ["left", 2388], ["leave", 2388], ["two", 2396], ["twos", 2396], ["alone", 2402], ["exit", 2460], ["exited", 2460], ["tell", 2493], ["telling", 2493], ["shackle", 2506], ["shackles", 2506], ["finally", 2532], ["cover", 2550], ["covering", 2550], ["half", 2572], ["expect", 2581], ["expected", 2581], ["wake", 2589], ["wakes", 2589], ["woken", 2589], ["damage", 2624], ["damaging", 2624], ["long", 2635], ["longs", 2635], ["eighty", 2660], ["five", 2665], ["fived", 2665], ["hour", 2671], ["hours", 2671], ["twenty", 2680], ["minute", 2692], ["minutes", 2692], ["six", 2700], ["second", 2708], ["seconded", 2708], ["seconds", 2708], ["keep", 2769], ["keepest", 2769], ["keeping", 2769], ["track", 2775], ["guess", 2789], ["guessing", 2789], ["evil", 2798], ["evils", 2798], ["evilest", 2798], ["warlock", 2807], ["warlocks", 2807], ["battle", 2823], ["defeat", 2841], ["defeatest", 2841], ["defeated", 2841], ["catch", 2874], ["catches", 2874], ["catched", 2874], ["caught", 2874], ["moment", 2893], ["check", 2903], ["checked", 2903], ["yeah", 2914], ["torture", 2928], ["tortured", 2928], ["last", 2938], ["turn", 3005], ["hack", 3016], ["hacking", 3016], ["bit", 3037], ["bits", 3037], ["burn", 3060], ["burns", 3060], ["burning", 3060], ["snuggle", 3092], ["snuggled", 3092], ["bed", 3105], ["sat", 3133], ["sit", 3133], ["sitting", 3133], ["behind", 3140], ["kind", 3158], ["lay", 3167], ["lie", 3167], ["lain", 3167], ["lying", 3167], ["slash", 3173], ["top", 3188], ["move", 3214], ["moving", 3214], ["lift", 3233], ["lifted", 3233], ["hand", 3242], ["display", 3253], ["box", 3259], ["boxed", 3259], ["remember", 3273], ["rememberest", 3273], ["remembering", 3273], ["birthday", 3296], ["gift", 3301], ["unwrap", 3345], ["unwraps", 3345], ["without", 3356], ["say", 3363], ["sayest", 3363], ["saying", 3363], ["open", 3383], ["opened", 3383], ["lid", 3391], ["find", 3407], ["found", 3407], ["phoenix", 3418], ["necklace", 3427], ["necklacing", 3427], ["inside", 3434], ["ask", 3447], ["asked", 3447], ["sound", 3458], ["sounding", 3458], ["see", 3485], ["return", 3508], ["returnest", 3508], ["returned", 3508], ["put", 3536], ["putting", 3536], ["start", 3573], ["started", 3573], ["see", 3580], ["seeing", 3580], ["flash", 3588], ["flashes", 3588], ["expect", 3624], ["expecting", 3624], ["hard", 3648], ["fast", 3657], ["stop", 3685], ["stopped", 3685], ["dang", 3699], ["fair", 3719], ["fairs", 3719], ["fairest", 3719], ["give", 3747], ["gave", 3747], ["first", 3767], ["firstest", 3767], ["soul", 3772], ["ceremony", 3789], ["spend", 3799], ["spends", 3799], ["spendest", 3799], ["spent", 3799], ["year", 3805], ["years", 3805], ["hope", 3824], ["hoping", 3824], ["right", 3845], ["rightest", 3845], ["marry", 3918], ["married", 3918], ["week", 3933], ["weeks", 3933], ["sneaky", 3974], ["trick", 3986], ["tricked", 3986], ["back", 4006], ["memory", 4025], ["memories", 4025], ["vision", 4037], ["blur", 4053], ["blurs", 4053], ["bit", 4066], ["bits", 4066], ["tear", 4075], ["teared", 4075], ["tears", 4075], ["multiply", 4095], ["multiplying", 4095], ["wait", 4102], ["waitest", 4102], ["remember", 4117], ["rememberest", 4117], ["joke", 4141], ["jokes", 4141], ["joking", 4141], ["happy", 4165], ["definitely", 4220], ["give", 4259], ["wedding", 4281], ["present", 4289], ["presentest", 4289], ["swear", 4312], ["sweared", 4312], ["next", 4321], ["time", 4326], ["pop", 4335], ["pops", 4335], ["throw", 4352], ["throwing", 4352], ["fireball", 4378], ["grumpily", 4403], ["defense", 4431], ["mechanism", 4441], ["mechanisms", 4441], ["stop", 4466]]
he 'd operated that way for twenty years . and maybe , if he was really lucky , he 'd get to help axel crack some skulls . aggression sounded nice about now . thorpe yanked the door open . axel plowed in-along with a host of other familiar faces . logan and hunter edgington , xander and javier santiago , tyler murphy , deke trenton , and his business partner , the infamous jack cole . he knew exactly why they 'd come . `` is there some all-male gangbang i have n't heard about ? you boys will have to play without me . logan looked insulted . `` we are not here to fk your ass , dude . '' `` just your mind , '' jack quipped . self-controlled son of a bitch . jack was happily married with a young son . what did he understand about this situation ? any of them , really ? they were all settled . well , except axel , and that guy had layers of shit , so his head of security better not be up in his grill . thorpe opened the door wider and gestured them all back into the hall . tyler scoffed . avoidance did n't help me when i wanted to worm out of the intervention the wives all sprung on me before delaney . damn if they were n't right , too . so i think you should shut the fk up and listen . '' `` yeah , '' deke piped in . `` my cousin luc had to give me some tough love before i was smart enough to get over myself and marry kimber . it 's a valuable mental ass kicking every guy should have . good times ... '' he looked down the hall and frowned . deke stepped aside for luc traverson to enter , who held a plate that on any other day would look and smell divine . since returning to dominion , everything had tasted like dog shit . `` thank you , but i 'm not hungry , '' thorpe said politely . as if he had n't spoken , luc shoved the plate in his hands and shut the door to thorpe 's living quarters behind him . `` i hunted down what passes for a kitchen here and reheated a veritable masterpiece just for you . axel said you have n't eaten a whole meal since you returned . '' the platter under his nose held some sort of veal dish with a red wine sauce , roasted sweet potatoes , and glazed carrots . in a restaurant , this dish would be at least fifty bucks , probably more because traverson made it . thorpe 's stomach revolted . `` i hate it when people lie . '' hunter stepped up and took the plate , carrying it to thorpe 's little bistro table in the corner . the older edgington brother may have been a seal , but thorpe did n't need for anyone to dom the dom . `` i believe i 've spoken . you do n't come into my house and tell me what to do . '' logan gave him a shove toward his brother and the plate . `` we will for your own good because we 've all been there . you said a lot of things i needed to hear before i won tara back . now you 're going to listen . '' xander stood beside him with his arms crossed over his chest , his charcoal suit perfectly pressed . javier had chosen something navy , but the pose was a dead ringer for his younger brother 's . they both looked gravely serious . `` i 'll have to echo logan , '' xander said . `` man up . listening wo n't hurt . `` i do n't need advice . thank you for the effort . '' `` you can dish out the good advice but you ca n't take it ? '' javier challenged with a look that tried to shame him . `` i do n't need advice about anything . i 'm goddamn fine ! i 'm better than fking fine . never been happier . the moment he lost control , he wanted to kick his own ass . he had to get his shit under wraps or he 'd give in to that nagging urge he 'd been fighting to call sean and ask if there was any way he could take back every fking word of good-bye and join them . callie deserved better than him . thorpe drew in a shuddering breath , forcing a lid back onto his temper . tyler shoved him in the chair . `` what a bunch of bs . fucking eat something . '' hunter held him down and shoved a fork in his hand . `` as i said , i do n't like liars . you 're in love with callie . '' `` she is sean mackenzie 's collared submissive . '' thorpe pressed his lips tightly together . and he was just waiting for the day he heard about their engagement . it was coming , he knew .	[["operate", 14], ["operated", 14], ["way", 23], ["ways", 23], ["twenty", 34], ["year", 40], ["years", 40], ["maybe", 52], ["really", 71], ["lucky", 77], ["get", 89], ["help", 97], ["helpest", 97], ["axel", 102], ["crack", 108], ["skull", 120], ["skulls", 120], ["aggression", 133], ["sound", 141], ["sounded", 141], ["nice", 146], ["thorpe", 165], ["yank", 172], ["yanks", 172], ["yanked", 172], ["door", 181], ["open", 186], ["plow", 200], ["plowed", 200], ["along", 209], ["host", 221], ["hosted", 221], ["hostest", 221], ["familiar", 239], ["face", 245], ["faces", 245], ["logan", 253], ["logans", 253], ["xander", 283], ["santiago", 303], ["murphy", 318], ["deke", 325], ["trenton", 333], ["business", 352], ["partner", 360], ["infamous", 375], ["jack", 380], ["jacks", 380], ["jacked", 380], ["cole", 385], ["coles", 385], ["know", 395], ["knowest", 395], ["knew", 395], ["exactly", 403], ["come", 420], ["male", 448], ["males", 448], ["gangbang", 457], ["hear", 474], ["hears", 474], ["heard", 474], ["boy", 491], ["boys", 491], ["play", 509], ["playest", 509], ["without", 517], ["look", 535], ["looked", 535], ["insult", 544], ["insultest", 544], ["insulted", 544], ["ass", 582], ["dude", 589], ["mind", 612], ["minding", 612], ["quip", 630], ["quipping", 630], ["quipped", 630], ["self", 637], ["control", 648], ["controlled", 648], ["son", 652], ["bitch", 663], ["happily", 682], ["married", 690], ["young", 703], ["youngest", 703], ["understand", 732], ["understanded", 732], ["situation", 753], ["settle", 800], ["settled", 800], ["well", 807], ["wells", 807], ["except", 816], ["guy", 836], ["layered", 847], ["layers", 847], ["shit", 855], ["head", 869], ["security", 881], ["well", 888], ["wells", 888], ["grill", 911], ["open", 927], ["opened", 927], ["wide", 942], ["gesture", 955], ["gestured", 955], ["back", 969], ["hall", 983], ["scoff", 999], ["scoffs", 999], ["scoffed", 999], ["avoidance", 1011], ["worm", 1049], ["worming", 1049], ["intervention", 1073], ["wife", 1083], ["wives", 1083], ["sprang", 1094], ["sprung", 1094], ["spring", 1094], ["damn", 1122], ["damned", 1122], ["right", 1145], ["rightest", 1145], ["think", 1164], ["thinkest", 1164], ["shut", 1180], ["listen", 1203], ["listens", 1203], ["yeah", 1216], ["pipe", 1232], ["piped", 1232], ["piping", 1232], ["cousin", 1250], ["luc", 1254], ["give", 1266], ["tough", 1280], ["love", 1285], ["smart", 1304], ["enough", 1311], ["marry", 1340], ["married", 1340], ["kimber", 1347], ["valuable", 1366], ["mental", 1373], ["kick", 1385], ["kicking", 1385], ["every", 1391], ["good", 1414], ["time", 1420], ["times", 1420], ["frown", 1463], ["frowns", 1463], ["frowned", 1463], ["step", 1478], ["stepped", 1478], ["aside", 1484], ["enter", 1511], ["hold", 1522], ["held", 1522], ["plate", 1530], ["plating", 1530], ["day", 1552], ["look", 1563], ["smell", 1573], ["smelt", 1573], ["smellest", 1573], ["divine", 1580], ["since", 1588], ["return", 1598], ["returnest", 1598], ["returning", 1598], ["dominion", 1610], ["everything", 1623], ["taste", 1634], ["tasted", 1634], ["like", 1639], ["dog", 1643], ["thank", 1659], ["thanks", 1659], ["thankest", 1659], ["hungry", 1685], ["say", 1702], ["sayest", 1702], ["said", 1702], ["politely", 1711], ["speak", 1737], ["spoken", 1737], ["shove", 1750], ["shoved", 1750], ["hand", 1773], ["hands", 1773], ["quarter", 1820], ["quartering", 1820], ["quarters", 1820], ["behind", 1827], ["hunt", 1845], ["hunting", 1845], ["huntest", 1845], ["hunted", 1845], ["pass", 1862], ["passes", 1862], ["kitchen", 1876], ["kitchens", 1876], ["reheat", 1894], ["reheated", 1894], ["veritable", 1906], ["masterpiece", 1918], ["eat", 1962], ["eaten", 1962], ["whole", 1970], ["wholes", 1970], ["meal", 1975], ["return", 1994], ["returnest", 1994], ["returned", 1994], ["platter", 2011], ["nose", 2026], ["nosed", 2026], ["nosing", 2026], ["sort", 2041], ["veal", 2049], ["dish", 2054], ["dished", 2054], ["red", 2065], ["sauce", 2076], ["roast", 2086], ["roasted", 2086], ["sweet", 2092], ["potato", 2101], ["potatos", 2101], ["potatoes", 2101], ["glaze", 2114], ["glazes", 2114], ["glazed", 2114], ["carrot", 2122], ["carrots", 2122], ["restaurant", 2140], ["least", 2170], ["leastest", 2170], ["fifty", 2176], ["buck", 2182], ["bucking", 2182], ["bucks", 2182], ["probably", 2193], ["stomach", 2244], ["stomachs", 2244], ["stomaching", 2244], ["revolt", 2253], ["revolts", 2253], ["revolted", 2253], ["hate", 2265], ["hateed", 2265], ["people", 2280], ["lay", 2284], ["lie", 2284], ["lain", 2284], ["take", 2316], ["took", 2316], ["carry", 2337], ["carrying", 2337], ["little", 2360], ["bistro", 2367], ["bistros", 2367], ["table", 2373], ["tabled", 2373], ["tabling", 2373], ["corner", 2387], ["old", 2399], ["brother", 2417], ["brethren", 2417], ["may", 2421], ["mays", 2421], ["mayest", 2421], ["seal", 2438], ["need", 2464], ["needest", 2464], ["anyone", 2475], ["dom", 2482], ["believe", 2505], ["house", 2550], ["tell", 2559], ["give", 2589], ["gave", 2589], ["shove", 2601], ["toward", 2608], ["lot", 2712], ["thing", 2722], ["things", 2722], ["need", 2731], ["needest", 2731], ["needed", 2731], ["hear", 2739], ["hears", 2739], ["win", 2752], ["tara", 2757], ["go", 2782], ["goest", 2782], ["going", 2782], ["stood", 2810], ["stand", 2810], ["standest", 2810], ["beside", 2817], ["arm", 2835], ["arms", 2835], ["cross", 2843], ["crossing", 2843], ["crossed", 2843], ["chest", 2858], ["charcoal", 2873], ["suit", 2878], ["suited", 2878], ["perfectly", 2888], ["press", 2896], ["pressed", 2896], ["choose", 2916], ["chosen", 2916], ["navy", 2931], ["pose", 2946], ["dead", 2957], ["ringer", 2964], ["young", 2980], ["youngest", 2980], ["gravely", 3018], ["serious", 3026], ["echo", 3050], ["echoed", 3050], ["man", 3082], ["mans", 3082], ["manned", 3082], ["listening", 3097], ["wo", 3100], ["hurt", 3109], ["hurts", 3109], ["hurting", 3109], ["advice", 3135], ["effort", 3162], ["ca", 3214], ["cas", 3214], ["take", 3223], ["challenge", 3249], ["challenged", 3249], ["try", 3272], ["tryed", 3272], ["tried", 3272], ["shame", 3281], ["shamed", 3281], ["anything", 3326], ["goddamn", 3341], ["fine", 3346], ["never", 3386], ["happy", 3399], ["happier", 3399], ["moment", 3412], ["lose", 3420], ["lost", 3420], ["control", 3428], ["kick", 3448], ["wrap", 3497], ["wraps", 3497], ["wrapping", 3497], ["nag", 3530], ["nags", 3530], ["nagged", 3530], ["nagging", 3530], ["urge", 3535], ["fight", 3555], ["fightest", 3555], ["call", 3563], ["sean", 3568], ["ask", 3576], ["word", 3635], ["bye", 3647], ["byes", 3647], ["join", 3656], ["joinest", 3656], ["deserve", 3679], ["deserved", 3679], ["draw", 3709], ["draws", 3709], ["drawn", 3709], ["drew", 3709], ["breath", 3732], ["breathest", 3732], ["force", 3742], ["forcing", 3742], ["lid", 3748], ["onto", 3758], ["ontos", 3758], ["temper", 3769], ["chair", 3801], ["chairing", 3801], ["bunch", 3819], ["bunchest", 3819], ["bs", 3825], ["fucking", 3835], ["eat", 3839], ["fork", 3893], ["hand", 3905], ["liar", 3942], ["liars", 3942], ["mackenzie", 4002], ["collar", 4014], ["collared", 4014], ["submissive", 4025], ["submissives", 4025], ["lip", 4054], ["lipped", 4054], ["lips", 4054], ["tightly", 4062], ["together", 4071], ["wait", 4097], ["waitest", 4097], ["waiting", 4097], ["engagement", 4141], ["come", 4157], ["coming", 4157]]
i once caught a glimpse of the contents she scribbled . i saw how she quoted me in every turn of a page . and , further wrote how she considered me to be the single most interesting being to ever have walked the face of the earth . knowing she liked me back , made me less tense and more relaxed when we spoke . she used to wait for me at the school gate in the mornings , even when i was late . she would wait and wed both get punished . in those mornings she stood by the gate i remember it not being the sun , but her face that seemed to shine . i feared the leap the leap of telling her how i felt . it was not fear of rejection or disappointment which i feared but the one of change . my life was simple and safe . the change she would bring might weather and sink my ship of life . was it not fair to read of how one can rip ones heart ? excavating it from ones chest to feed it to the wolves from its safe dwelling of its chest cavity ? with yours being safe and intact in its protective cage . so now and then i would push her away . i regarded my solitude not as a heavy and miserable burden . but more precisely as a safe house where nothing could hurt me ; a peep hole observation of the world outside . but it soon became evident to me that i have not yet lived . i have read of the brutality of war but i have neither witnessed my best friend gasping for air blood entwined with mud on his face nor the smell of piles of men after a war . i have read of magnificent paintings and artists but i have never smelt or painted beauty through my hands . but most importantly , i have read of love undying love . the sonnets of shakespeare , and the poems of landon , however , i have never felt what it was like to wake up next to a dream and feel truly happy . i may get hurt : my heart to bleed but for her it was a chance i would seize . with her , i felt the smoothness of a kiss and the tender softness of a hug . it was beyond the narrative excellence of any book or the beauty of any poetic depiction . while the teacher taught , i only listened absentmindedly . spending continued hours simply admiring her hair , eyes and those small ears she had . i was interrupted by mr. russell who asked me to recite the most interesting thing i read in the past week . i have read the best book ever written by the ten fingers of men , i told them . i read the carvings of her lips . no , not lines that connect the stars but lips ; i assure you , they are lips . i read all corners of a smile , and each one that i read every hair i counted made me be . she stood up and walked up to me like a sexy jaguar in the jungle to kiss while all my peers were starring . i believe this was when i found it . dear reader , there are 206 bones in the human body , all perfectly aligned , with one joining to the other in perfect harmony . that day i discovered my last bone , my last romantic bone . waves of rumor started to perpetuate through the school like a violent wind swaying long and slender grass in the field . that day when i accompanied her home she said , i want you to promise me something . anything i responded still drowned by her kiss . i need you to promise me that you will not fall in love with me this was a strange thing to ask but i could not show my vulnerability thus agreeing to this misunderstood statement . although i knew how late it was , i had already fallen deep and was now just drowning in her . the days that were to follow , my smile hid my teeth and the sadness of my mind . something caught my eye while we were filling forms . fortunate stared hard at the blank space adjacent to illnesses with her pen almost touching to write . after seeing how interested i was she wrote none and passed . for years we loved like the world was fleeting and temporary . each time she said goodbye , my eyes grew teary . and id call god a liar for making her leave . you can hide some things but even hidden secrets find their way through the desert . pieces of me died when i found out she was dying . that devilish cancer , cancering away her blood ! now it all became clear what she hid it from me , why she said i should not fall in love with her . i remember how in the months that followed our smiles were replaced with dismay . i felt varied emotions in my young heart ; yet the feeling the thought that my first love was dying crushed my intangible soul . her mother called my house to tell me of her deteriorating illness ; that they had to take her to the hospital . i reached the room she was admitted in . i was still sweating from scurrying up the stairs . i found her lying there with pale skin and lips . her hair was now gone and hands were almost cold when i touched .	[["catch", 13], ["catches", 13], ["catched", 13], ["caught", 13], ["glimpse", 23], ["glimpses", 23], ["content", 39], ["contenting", 39], ["contents", 39], ["scribble", 53], ["scribbled", 53], ["see", 61], ["saw", 61], ["quote", 76], ["quoted", 76], ["every", 88], ["turn", 93], ["page", 103], ["write", 125], ["writing", 125], ["wrote", 125], ["consider", 144], ["considered", 144], ["single", 164], ["interesting", 181], ["ever", 195], ["everest", 195], ["walk", 207], ["walked", 207], ["face", 216], ["earth", 229], ["earths", 229], ["earthest", 229], ["know", 239], ["knowest", 239], ["knowing", 239], ["like", 249], ["liked", 249], ["back", 257], ["less", 272], ["tense", 278], ["speak", 309], ["spoken", 309], ["spoke", 309], ["use", 320], ["used", 320], ["wait", 328], ["waitest", 328], ["school", 349], ["schooling", 349], ["gate", 354], ["gates", 354], ["morning", 370], ["mornings", 370], ["even", 377], ["evens", 377], ["late", 393], ["lates", 393], ["get", 427], ["punish", 436], ["punished", 436], ["stood", 466], ["stand", 466], ["standest", 466], ["remember", 489], ["rememberest", 489], ["sun", 510], ["suns", 510], ["sunned", 510], ["seem", 537], ["seeming", 537], ["seemed", 537], ["shine", 546], ["shone", 546], ["shined", 546], ["fear", 557], ["fearest", 557], ["feared", 557], ["leap", 566], ["leaps", 566], ["leaping", 566], ["tell", 586], ["telling", 586], ["feel", 601], ["felt", 601], ["fear", 619], ["fearest", 619], ["rejection", 632], ["disappointment", 650], ["change", 687], ["life", 697], ["lifes", 697], ["simple", 708], ["simplest", 708], ["safe", 717], ["safes", 717], ["safed", 717], ["bring", 746], ["may", 752], ["mays", 752], ["mayest", 752], ["might", 752], ["weather", 760], ["sink", 769], ["sank", 769], ["ship", 777], ["fair", 803], ["fairs", 803], ["fairest", 803], ["read", 811], ["reads", 811], ["rip", 830], ["heart", 841], ["excavate", 854], ["excavating", 854], ["chest", 873], ["fed", 881], ["feed", 881], ["wolf", 898], ["wolves", 898], ["dwelling", 921], ["cavity", 941], ["intact", 976], ["protective", 994], ["cage", 999], ["push", 1030], ["away", 1039], ["regard", 1052], ["regarded", 1052], ["solitude", 1064], ["heavy", 1079], ["heavies", 1079], ["heavier", 1079], ["miserable", 1093], ["burden", 1100], ["burdens", 1100], ["precisely", 1121], ["house", 1137], ["nothing", 1151], ["hurt", 1162], ["hurts", 1162], ["hurting", 1162], ["peep", 1174], ["hole", 1179], ["observation", 1191], ["world", 1204], ["outside", 1212], ["soon", 1226], ["become", 1233], ["became", 1233], ["evident", 1241], ["yet", 1267], ["live", 1273], ["lived", 1273], ["brutality", 1304], ["war", 1311], ["neither", 1330], ["witness", 1340], ["witnessed", 1340], ["good", 1348], ["best", 1348], ["friend", 1355], ["gasp", 1363], ["gasps", 1363], ["air", 1371], ["airs", 1371], ["airing", 1371], ["blood", 1377], ["bloods", 1377], ["blooded", 1377], ["entwine", 1386], ["entwines", 1386], ["entwined", 1386], ["mud", 1395], ["smell", 1421], ["smelt", 1421], ["smellest", 1421], ["pile", 1430], ["piles", 1430], ["man", 1437], ["mans", 1437], ["manned", 1437], ["men", 1437], ["magnificent", 1478], ["painting", 1488], ["paintings", 1488], ["artist", 1500], ["artists", 1500], ["never", 1517], ["smell", 1523], ["smelt", 1523], ["smellest", 1523], ["paint", 1534], ["painted", 1534], ["beauty", 1541], ["hand", 1558], ["hands", 1558], ["importantly", 1581], ["love", 1603], ["sonnet", 1630], ["sonnets", 1630], ["shakespeare", 1645], ["poem", 1661], ["poems", 1661], ["however", 1681], ["like", 1718], ["wake", 1726], ["wakes", 1726], ["woken", 1726], ["next", 1734], ["dream", 1745], ["dreamt", 1745], ["dreamest", 1745], ["feel", 1754], ["truly", 1760], ["happy", 1766], ["may", 1774], ["mays", 1774], ["mayest", 1774], ["bleed", 1803], ["chance", 1831], ["chanced", 1831], ["chancing", 1831], ["seize", 1845], ["seizes", 1845], ["smoothness", 1880], ["kiss", 1890], ["kisses", 1890], ["kissest", 1890], ["tender", 1905], ["tenderest", 1905], ["hug", 1923], ["beyond", 1939], ["narrative", 1953], ["excellence", 1964], ["book", 1976], ["poetic", 2004], ["depiction", 2014], ["teach", 2041], ["taught", 2041], ["listen", 2059], ["listens", 2059], ["listened", 2059], ["absentmindedly", 2074], ["spend", 2085], ["spends", 2085], ["spendest", 2085], ["continue", 2095], ["continued", 2095], ["hour", 2101], ["hours", 2101], ["simply", 2108], ["admire", 2117], ["admiring", 2117], ["hair", 2126], ["eye", 2133], ["eyed", 2133], ["eyes", 2133], ["small", 2149], ["ear", 2154], ["ears", 2154], ["interrupt", 2182], ["interruptest", 2182], ["interrupted", 2182], ["mr", 2188], ["russell", 2197], ["ask", 2207], ["asked", 2207], ["recite", 2220], ["thing", 2247], ["past", 2266], ["week", 2271], ["write", 2312], ["writing", 2312], ["written", 2312], ["ten", 2323], ["finger", 2331], ["fingers", 2331], ["tell", 2347], ["told", 2347], ["carving", 2374], ["carvings", 2374], ["lip", 2386], ["lipped", 2386], ["lips", 2386], ["line", 2403], ["lines", 2403], ["connect", 2416], ["connectest", 2416], ["star", 2426], ["starred", 2426], ["stars", 2426], ["assure", 2446], ["corner", 2487], ["corners", 2487], ["smile", 2498], ["count", 2546], ["countest", 2546], ["counted", 2546], ["sexy", 2604], ["jaguar", 2611], ["jaguars", 2611], ["jungle", 2625], ["jungles", 2625], ["peer", 2652], ["peers", 2652], ["star", 2666], ["starred", 2666], ["starring", 2666], ["believe", 2678], ["find", 2700], ["found", 2700], ["dear", 2710], ["dearest", 2710], ["bone", 2739], ["bonest", 2739], ["bones", 2739], ["human", 2752], ["body", 2757], ["bodied", 2757], ["perfectly", 2773], ["join", 2800], ["joinest", 2800], ["joining", 2800], ["perfect", 2824], ["perfectest", 2824], ["harmony", 2832], ["day", 2843], ["discover", 2856], ["discovered", 2856], ["last", 2864], ["bone", 2869], ["bonest", 2869], ["romantic", 2888], ["wave", 2901], ["waved", 2901], ["waves", 2901], ["rumor", 2910], ["start", 2918], ["started", 2918], ["perpetuate", 2932], ["violent", 2966], ["wind", 2971], ["sway", 2979], ["swayed", 2979], ["swaying", 2979], ["long", 2984], ["longs", 2984], ["grass", 3002], ["grassing", 3002], ["field", 3015], ["fielding", 3015], ["accompany", 3045], ["accompanied", 3045], ["home", 3054], ["homing", 3054], ["say", 3063], ["sayest", 3063], ["said", 3063], ["promise", 3087], ["anything", 3111], ["respond", 3123], ["respondest", 3123], ["responded", 3123], ["still", 3129], ["drown", 3137], ["drowns", 3137], ["drowned", 3137], ["need", 3158], ["needest", 3158], ["fall", 3199], ["falls", 3199], ["strange", 3234], ["ask", 3247], ["show", 3268], ["vulnerability", 3285], ["thus", 3290], ["agree", 3299], ["agreeing", 3299], ["misunderstood", 3321], ["statement", 3331], ["although", 3342], ["know", 3349], ["knowest", 3349], ["knew", 3349], ["already", 3381], ["fall", 3388], ["falls", 3388], ["fallen", 3388], ["deep", 3393], ["deeply", 3393], ["drown", 3419], ["drowns", 3419], ["drowning", 3419], ["day", 3437], ["days", 3437], ["follow", 3457], ["hides", 3472], ["hid", 3472], ["tooth", 3481], ["teeth", 3481], ["sadness", 3497], ["mind", 3508], ["minding", 3508], ["eye", 3534], ["eyed", 3534], ["fill", 3556], ["fills", 3556], ["filling", 3556], ["form", 3562], ["formest", 3562], ["forms", 3562], ["fortunate", 3574], ["hard", 3586], ["blank", 3599], ["blanks", 3599], ["space", 3605], ["spaced", 3605], ["spacing", 3605], ["adjacent", 3614], ["illness", 3627], ["illnesses", 3627], ["pen", 3640], ["almost", 3647], ["touch", 3656], ["touching", 3656], ["write", 3665], ["writing", 3665], ["see", 3680], ["seeing", 3680], ["interested", 3695], ["none", 3716], ["pass", 3727], ["passed", 3727], ["year", 3739], ["years", 3739], ["love", 3748], ["loved", 3748], ["fleeting", 3776], ["temporary", 3790], ["time", 3802], ["goodbye", 3819], ["goodbyes", 3819], ["grow", 3834], ["growest", 3834], ["grew", 3834], ["teary", 3840], ["call", 3854], ["god", 3858], ["liar", 3865], ["left", 3886], ["leave", 3886], ["hides", 3901], ["thing", 3913], ["things", 3913], ["hides", 3929], ["hidden", 3929], ["secret", 3937], ["secrets", 3937], ["find", 3942], ["way", 3952], ["ways", 3952], ["desert", 3971], ["piece", 3980], ["pieced", 3980], ["pieces", 3980], ["die", 3991], ["died", 3991], ["die", 4022], ["dying", 4022], ["devilish", 4038], ["cancer", 4045], ["clear", 4098], ["clearest", 4098], ["month", 4203], ["months", 4203], ["follow", 4217], ["followed", 4217], ["smile", 4228], ["smiles", 4228], ["replace", 4242], ["replaced", 4242], ["dismay", 4254], ["dismayed", 4254], ["emotion", 4279], ["emotions", 4279], ["young", 4291], ["youngest", 4291], ["feeling", 4315], ["thought", 4327], ["first", 4341], ["firstest", 4341], ["crush", 4364], ["crushest", 4364], ["crushed", 4364], ["intangible", 4378], ["intangibles", 4378], ["soul", 4383], ["mother", 4396], ["mothered", 4396], ["motherest", 4396], ["call", 4403], ["called", 4403], ["tell", 4420], ["deteriorate", 4444], ["deteriorating", 4444], ["illness", 4452], ["take", 4476], ["hospital", 4496], ["reach", 4508], ["reached", 4508], ["room", 4517], ["roomed", 4517], ["admit", 4534], ["admitted", 4534], ["sweat", 4560], ["sweating", 4560], ["scurry", 4575], ["scurrying", 4575], ["stair", 4589], ["stairs", 4589], ["lay", 4609], ["lie", 4609], ["lain", 4609], ["lying", 4609], ["pale", 4625], ["skin", 4630], ["go", 4663], ["goest", 4663], ["gone", 4663], ["cold", 4690], ["touch", 4705], ["touching", 4705], ["touched", 4705]]
i should have kept hold of my lifes warnings about charming people . experience had told me not to trust them , and i wish i hadnt trusted him . there was something wrong with georgian longue . and he couldnt hide it anymore . i didnt know what the fact about him was , i just knew it existed . and georgian longue knew this too . because he dropped the facade . the smile for a child was redundant now . so he didnt bother with the mask . not that hed done anything wrong in front of me . it was just that look he had given . that was enough for me to know where i stood with him . and , unnervingly , it didnt seem to be an important error to him . but then , why would it ? he had me exactly where he wanted me . id been duped into following him into the 23rd century and there was no way back for me . i was trapped , defenceless and completely at his mercy . the sham wasnt necessary any more . it had done its job . game , set and match to georgian longue . i couldnt begin to believe how many lies he might have told me . my god , what did that mean about michelle ? i honestly didnt want to know . i didnt want my heart twisted into caring for someone who was wrong for me , [ that , my friends , is the story of my life ] . i didnt need to be told . i could see just by looking at her . just plain guilty . i thought shed come here to be with me . she had volunteered for this mission , after all . had i misunderstood her reasons for coming ? i looked at her longingly , and my heart sank . but i couldnt let go . i just couldnt stop feeling for her . and it hurt me so achingly badly . like feeling for a child in pain . the empathy just making you wish you could take the pain away and suffer it yourself to save the child . thats how i felt for michelle . i wanted to take away her guilt and make her happy again . but it doesnt happen that way , not even with real children . her head was hung down , her shoulders were dropped and she couldnt look back at me . [ did that mean she cared for me ? how long would it take me to work this out and finally let her go ? ] she knew as well as i did . as well as georgian longue did . the game , whatever it was , was up . it was clear to me , without any proof but a look , that i was not in the safe hands of the good guys any more . at this point in time , i didnt know who the good guys were . it wasnt the world moving fast this time . my feet were still , but my intelligence had finally woken up . they had me exactly where they wanted me . in no time , a jeep on jets arrived , hovering inches over the road surface . automatically we filed into it . the epiphany that resulted from a single look created an amazing level of order . there was no struggle or protest from me and there was no disorganization in the order of who stepped in first , second and last . with truths like this , there was no need for instructions . logic can reduce us to obedience . everything had its place and we knew ours . i was stunned as i felt the lift of the 23rd century carrying me away to goodness knows where . i had nothing to say and couldnt see the point in saying anything anyhow . but michelle did . she still looked guilty with the pain it had brought her . she only had one thing to say to me . and she had to say it . im sorry , stanley . i looked at her again , deeply into her beautiful hazel eyes , the first thing of beauty i ever noticed about her so many centuries ago , and i still couldnt fathom her . there was something i was missing , something more truthful , but she couldnt tell me what it was . only later would i learn that it wasnt guilt she was feeling , but fear . shed found out what was going to happen to me . chapter ten so , monsieur jefferson , do you want to know why you are really here ? will you tell me the truth this time ? i think you should tell me . there hadnt been much drama to reach this point . although i had put one theory to rest . osmoscience was a nonsense . i should never have believed it in the first place . just as i should never have believed in this charmer either . he took me to a horrible place . no matter how far into the future you go , people will never change . people like me will always be naive and vulnerable . and people like georgian longue , the real georgian longue , will always be the poorest examples of humanity . the kind who cant tolerate others . the kind who justify anything they do solely to make them feel glorious and superior .	[["keep", 18], ["keepest", 18], ["kept", 18], ["hold", 23], ["life", 35], ["lifes", 35], ["warning", 44], ["warnings", 44], ["charming", 59], ["people", 66], ["experience", 79], ["experienced", 79], ["tell", 88], ["told", 88], ["trust", 104], ["wish", 122], ["trust", 138], ["trusted", 138], ["wrong", 170], ["georgian", 184], ["georgians", 184], ["hide", 213], ["hides", 213], ["anymore", 224], ["know", 239], ["knowest", 239], ["fact", 253], ["know", 281], ["knowest", 281], ["knew", 281], ["exist", 292], ["existest", 292], ["existed", 292], ["drop", 349], ["dropped", 349], ["facade", 360], ["smile", 372], ["child", 384], ["childs", 384], ["redundant", 398], ["bother", 423], ["bothers", 423], ["bothering", 423], ["mask", 437], ["maskest", 437], ["anything", 466], ["front", 481], ["look", 511], ["give", 524], ["given", 524], ["enough", 542], ["stood", 571], ["stand", 571], ["standest", 571], ["unnervingly", 600], ["seem", 616], ["seeming", 616], ["important", 635], ["error", 641], ["exactly", 694], ["dupe", 729], ["duped", 729], ["follow", 744], ["following", 744], ["century", 770], ["way", 791], ["ways", 791], ["back", 796], ["trap", 819], ["trapped", 819], ["defenceless", 833], ["completely", 848], ["mercy", 861], ["sham", 872], ["shams", 872], ["necessary", 888], ["job", 919], ["jobbing", 919], ["game", 926], ["set", 932], ["match", 942], ["matching", 942], ["begin", 979], ["believe", 990], ["many", 999], ["lay", 1004], ["lie", 1004], ["lain", 1004], ["lies", 1004], ["may", 1013], ["mays", 1013], ["mayest", 1013], ["might", 1013], ["god", 1035], ["mean", 1056], ["meanest", 1056], ["michelle", 1071], ["honestly", 1084], ["heart", 1127], ["twist", 1135], ["twisted", 1135], ["twisting", 1135], ["care", 1147], ["caring", 1147], ["friend", 1202], ["friends", 1202], ["story", 1217], ["life", 1228], ["lifes", 1228], ["need", 1245], ["needest", 1245], ["see", 1270], ["look", 1286], ["looking", 1286], ["plain", 1306], ["plains", 1306], ["guilty", 1313], ["think", 1325], ["thinkest", 1325], ["thought", 1325], ["shed", 1330], ["come", 1335], ["volunteer", 1376], ["volunteered", 1376], ["mission", 1393], ["misunderstand", 1427], ["misunderstanding", 1427], ["reason", 1439], ["reasonest", 1439], ["reasons", 1439], ["come", 1450], ["coming", 1450], ["look", 1461], ["looked", 1461], ["longingly", 1478], ["sink", 1498], ["sank", 1498], ["let", 1518], ["lets", 1518], ["go", 1521], ["goest", 1521], ["stop", 1543], ["feel", 1551], ["feeling", 1551], ["hurt", 1573], ["hurts", 1573], ["hurting", 1573], ["achingly", 1588], ["badly", 1594], ["like", 1601], ["pain", 1629], ["empathy", 1643], ["take", 1679], ["away", 1693], ["suffer", 1704], ["suffering", 1704], ["save", 1724], ["feel", 1753], ["felt", 1753], ["guilt", 1800], ["guilts", 1800], ["happy", 1819], ["happen", 1848], ["even", 1868], ["evens", 1868], ["reis", 1878], ["real", 1878], ["child", 1887], ["childs", 1887], ["children", 1887], ["head", 1898], ["hung", 1907], ["hang", 1907], ["hangs", 1907], ["shoulder", 1928], ["shouldered", 1928], ["shoulders", 1928], ["care", 2001], ["cared", 2001], ["long", 2019], ["longs", 2019], ["work", 2044], ["wrought", 2044], ["finally", 2065], ["well", 2097], ["wells", 2097], ["whatever", 2161], ["clear", 2192], ["clearest", 2192], ["without", 2208], ["proof", 2218], ["proofs", 2218], ["proofed", 2218], ["proofest", 2218], ["safe", 2258], ["safes", 2258], ["safed", 2258], ["hand", 2264], ["hands", 2264], ["good", 2276], ["guy", 2281], ["guys", 2281], ["point", 2306], ["time", 2314], ["world", 2373], ["move", 2380], ["moving", 2380], ["fast", 2385], ["foot", 2405], ["feet", 2405], ["still", 2416], ["intelligence", 2438], ["wake", 2456], ["wakes", 2456], ["woken", 2456], ["jeep", 2524], ["jet", 2532], ["jetting", 2532], ["jets", 2532], ["arrive", 2540], ["arrived", 2540], ["hover", 2551], ["hovering", 2551], ["inch", 2558], ["inches", 2558], ["road", 2572], ["surface", 2580], ["automatically", 2596], ["file", 2605], ["filed", 2605], ["epiphany", 2628], ["epiphanies", 2628], ["result", 2642], ["resultest", 2642], ["resulted", 2642], ["single", 2656], ["create", 2669], ["created", 2669], ["amazing", 2680], ["level", 2686], ["order", 2695], ["orderest", 2695], ["struggle", 2719], ["protest", 2730], ["protestest", 2730], ["disorganization", 2771], ["step", 2799], ["stepped", 2799], ["first", 2808], ["firstest", 2808], ["second", 2817], ["seconded", 2817], ["last", 2826], ["truth", 2840], ["truths", 2840], ["instruction", 2887], ["instructions", 2887], ["logic", 2895], ["reduce", 2906], ["obedience", 2922], ["everything", 2935], ["place", 2949], ["stun", 2982], ["stuns", 2982], ["stunned", 2982], ["lift", 3001], ["carry", 3030], ["carrying", 3030], ["goodness", 3050], ["know", 3056], ["knowest", 3056], ["knows", 3056], ["nothing", 3078], ["say", 3085], ["sayest", 3085], ["say", 3121], ["sayest", 3121], ["saying", 3121], ["anyhow", 3137], ["bring", 3211], ["brought", 3211], ["thing", 3240], ["sorry", 3288], ["stanley", 3298], ["deeply", 3331], ["beautiful", 3350], ["beautifulest", 3350], ["hazel", 3356], ["hazels", 3356], ["eye", 3361], ["eyed", 3361], ["eyes", 3361], ["beauty", 3389], ["ever", 3396], ["everest", 3396], ["notice", 3404], ["noticed", 3404], ["century", 3432], ["centuries", 3432], ["ago", 3436], ["fathom", 3465], ["fathoms", 3465], ["truthful", 3531], ["tell", 3554], ["later", 3582], ["learn", 3596], ["learnt", 3596], ["learns", 3596], ["fear", 3643], ["fearest", 3643], ["find", 3656], ["found", 3656], ["go", 3675], ["goest", 3675], ["going", 3675], ["chapter", 3701], ["ten", 3705], ["monsieur", 3719], ["jefferson", 3729], ["really", 3770], ["truth", 3804], ["think", 3824], ["thinkest", 3824], ["much", 3867], ["drama", 3873], ["dramas", 3873], ["reach", 3882], ["although", 3904], ["put", 3914], ["theory", 3925], ["rest", 3933], ["nonsense", 3962], ["never", 3979], ["believe", 3993], ["believed", 3993], ["charmer", 4070], ["either", 4077], ["take", 4087], ["took", 4087], ["horrible", 4104], ["matter", 4122], ["mattering", 4122], ["far", 4130], ["future", 4146], ["change", 4180], ["always", 4209], ["naive", 4218], ["vulnerable", 4233], ["poor", 4323], ["example", 4332], ["examples", 4332], ["humanity", 4344], ["kind", 4355], ["tolerate", 4373], ["justify", 4403], ["justified", 4403], ["solely", 4427], ["feel", 4445], ["glorious", 4454], ["superior", 4467]]
the entire thing is soft pink and looks like it was pulled right out of a cloud at sunrise . my hands cover my mouth and a swarm of butterflies start a race in my stomach . im here to help you get ready , miss ray , hannah says with glee in her voice . my eyes jump up to her and a disbelieving chuckle erupts from my chest . we spend a good thirty minutes getting me readyfor what exactly , i dont know . hannah laces me up into the dress and shes well prepared . she whips out a curling iron and with a speed i didnt know was possible , has my hair curled . she also braids some of it up into a complicated up-do , letting the rest cascade down over my left shoulder . she asks , holding up a mirror . its amazing , i say , observing myself . im practically glowing . and i really do look like a princess . but seriously , what is going on ? nope , not spilling the secret . she crosses to my desk and grabs the walkie-talkie . little blue to prince charming , the pumpkin is leaving the cottage . i laugh , unable to hold back a smile . hannah just winks at me as drakes voice comes back over the radio . operation ever after is a go . the line goes quiet again . right this way , hannah says . she props the door open and holds a hand out into the hall dramatically . i give her a hesitant look and take a step toward the door in the glittery heels she provided me . the second i step out into the hall , string music starts softly playing . i look up at the overhead speakers and give a laugh . hannah just grins and loops my arm through hers . she leads me down the hall , around the corner , and i finally figure out that we are headed for the main gym when the doors come in sight . someone with an artistic hand took huge rolls of brown paper and covered the doors , drawing on them to make them look like the doors to some grand castle . two senior boys stand beside them , both wearing suits . when i get closer , they reach for the handles , and pull the doors open for me . the music coming through the overhead speakers is overwhelmed by the actual high school orchestra picking up with a dramatic , dreamy song . they are standing just to either side of the doors in the gym . it takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the dim light , but when they do , tears prick at my eyes . waiting just inside for me , is armando . he wears a tailor fitted tuxcedo , and a smile that could outshine the sun . he extends his arm , and i loop mine through his . armie , i say . but my eyes have shifted to the rest of my surroundings and i dont have any more words . the gym has been transformed into a ballroom . some kind of christmas light chandeliers have been hung from the basketball hoops . even more twinkle lights are strung all along the walls , they crisscross across the ceiling . the entire space is sparkly and romantic . and there must be nearly every student and teacher gathered in the gym . the space is overflowing and packed with bodies . everyone is dressed beautifully , wearing gowns and suits . despite how crowded the room is , there is a perfectly clear path to the middle of the gym . a huge smile starts forming on my face as my eyes look down the line . theres an archway of some sort set up in the center . theres greenery and flowers wound through it . the biggest light chandelier of all hangs right over it . and standing under all of that is drake . my feet pull me automatically toward him , armandos arm still around mine . my smile grows bigger and bigger as i walk toward drake , hundreds of eyes following me as we walk . drakes gaze fixes on me and he cant seem to contain his own grin as i approach . hes dressed in some kind of costume suit . tight white slacks and high black boots . a red suit jacket with gold trim and buttons , and even the shoulder fringe things . dark blue cuffs and a golden sash goes over his right shoulder and loops over his left hip . he looks like he just walked right off the page of a fairy tale . finally , i stop in front of him . armando presses a kiss my temple and walks to the edge of the crowd . i say again through a laugh and an insanely huge smile . the greatest love story ever told , he says . he takes a step toward me , placing a hand on my cheek . i bite my lower lip to keep my face from breaking with the worlds biggest smile . my eyes leave drake for just a few moments and take the scene around us in once again . there are so many familiar faces watching us . i see lake through the crowd not far away . mr. scott smiles brightly . principal riker shakes his head with a smile when i catch his eyes . and then , back a ways ; i see robin , robert , sage , and kale .	[["entire", 10], ["thing", 16], ["soft", 24], ["pink", 29], ["look", 39], ["looks", 39], ["like", 44], ["pull", 58], ["pulled", 58], ["right", 64], ["rightest", 64], ["cloud", 79], ["clouded", 79], ["sunrise", 90], ["hand", 101], ["hands", 101], ["cover", 107], ["mouth", 116], ["mouthed", 116], ["swarm", 128], ["swarmed", 128], ["swarmest", 128], ["butterfly", 143], ["butterflies", 143], ["start", 149], ["race", 156], ["racing", 156], ["stomach", 170], ["stomachs", 170], ["stomaching", 170], ["help", 188], ["helpest", 188], ["get", 196], ["ready", 202], ["miss", 209], ["ray", 213], ["hannah", 222], ["say", 227], ["sayest", 227], ["says", 227], ["glee", 237], ["voice", 250], ["eye", 260], ["eyed", 260], ["eyes", 260], ["jump", 265], ["jumps", 265], ["disbelieve", 294], ["disbelieved", 294], ["disbelieving", 294], ["chuckle", 302], ["chuckled", 302], ["erupt", 309], ["eruptest", 309], ["erupts", 309], ["chest", 323], ["spend", 334], ["spends", 334], ["spendest", 334], ["good", 341], ["thirty", 348], ["minute", 356], ["minutes", 356], ["get", 364], ["getting", 364], ["exactly", 389], ["know", 403], ["knowest", 403], ["lace", 418], ["laces", 418], ["dress", 439], ["dressest", 439], ["well", 453], ["wells", 453], ["whip", 474], ["whips", 474], ["curl", 488], ["curls", 488], ["curled", 488], ["curling", 488], ["iron", 493], ["speed", 510], ["speeding", 510], ["possible", 536], ["hair", 550], ["curl", 557], ["curls", 557], ["curled", 557], ["also", 568], ["braid", 575], ["braids", 575], ["complicatedest", 608], ["let", 624], ["lets", 624], ["letting", 624], ["rest", 633], ["cascade", 641], ["left", 659], ["shoulder", 668], ["shouldered", 668], ["ask", 679], ["asks", 679], ["hold", 689], ["holding", 689], ["mirror", 701], ["amazing", 715], ["say", 723], ["sayest", 723], ["observe", 735], ["observing", 735], ["practically", 759], ["glow", 767], ["glowest", 767], ["glowing", 767], ["really", 782], ["look", 790], ["princess", 806], ["seriously", 822], ["go", 838], ["goest", 838], ["going", 838], ["nope", 848], ["spilt", 863], ["spill", 863], ["spilling", 863], ["secret", 874], ["cross", 888], ["crossing", 888], ["desk", 899], ["grab", 909], ["walkie", 920], ["talkie", 927], ["little", 936], ["blue", 941], ["prince", 951], ["charming", 960], ["pumpkin", 974], ["left", 985], ["leave", 985], ["leaving", 985], ["cottage", 997], ["laugh", 1007], ["unable", 1016], ["unabled", 1016], ["hold", 1024], ["back", 1029], ["smile", 1037], ["wink", 1057], ["winks", 1057], ["winkest", 1057], ["drake", 1073], ["drakes", 1073], ["come", 1085], ["comes", 1085], ["radio", 1105], ["operation", 1117], ["ever", 1122], ["everest", 1122], ["go", 1136], ["goest", 1136], ["line", 1147], ["go", 1152], ["goest", 1152], ["goes", 1152], ["quiet", 1158], ["way", 1181], ["ways", 1181], ["prop", 1207], ["props", 1207], ["door", 1216], ["open", 1221], ["hold", 1231], ["holds", 1231], ["hand", 1238], ["hall", 1256], ["dramatically", 1269], ["give", 1278], ["hesitant", 1293], ["take", 1307], ["step", 1314], ["toward", 1321], ["glittery", 1346], ["heel", 1352], ["heeled", 1352], ["heels", 1352], ["provide", 1365], ["provided", 1365], ["second", 1381], ["seconded", 1381], ["strung", 1415], ["string", 1415], ["strings", 1415], ["music", 1421], ["musics", 1421], ["start", 1428], ["starts", 1428], ["softly", 1435], ["play", 1443], ["playest", 1443], ["playing", 1443], ["overhead", 1471], ["speaker", 1480], ["speakers", 1480], ["grin", 1517], ["grins", 1517], ["loop", 1527], ["looping", 1527], ["loops", 1527], ["arm", 1534], ["lead", 1559], ["leaded", 1559], ["leads", 1559], ["around", 1585], ["corner", 1596], ["finally", 1612], ["figure", 1619], ["head", 1642], ["headed", 1642], ["main", 1655], ["gym", 1659], ["gyms", 1659], ["door", 1674], ["doors", 1674], ["come", 1679], ["sight", 1688], ["sighted", 1688], ["artistic", 1715], ["take", 1725], ["took", 1725], ["huge", 1730], ["roll", 1736], ["rolls", 1736], ["brown", 1745], ["browns", 1745], ["paper", 1751], ["cover", 1763], ["covered", 1763], ["draw", 1783], ["draws", 1783], ["drawn", 1783], ["drawing", 1783], ["grand", 1838], ["castle", 1845], ["castles", 1845], ["two", 1851], ["twos", 1851], ["senior", 1858], ["boy", 1863], ["boys", 1863], ["stood", 1869], ["stand", 1869], ["standest", 1869], ["beside", 1876], ["wear", 1896], ["wearing", 1896], ["suit", 1902], ["suited", 1902], ["suits", 1902], ["close", 1922], ["closer", 1922], ["reach", 1935], ["handle", 1951], ["handles", 1951], ["pull", 1962], ["come", 2003], ["coming", 2003], ["overwhelm", 2048], ["overwhelms", 2048], ["overwhelmed", 2048], ["actual", 2062], ["high", 2067], ["school", 2074], ["schooling", 2074], ["orchestra", 2084], ["orchestras", 2084], ["pick", 2092], ["picking", 2092], ["dramatic", 2111], ["dreamy", 2120], ["song", 2125], ["stood", 2145], ["stand", 2145], ["standest", 2145], ["standing", 2145], ["either", 2160], ["side", 2165], ["sidest", 2165], ["take", 2200], ["takes", 2200], ["moment", 2217], ["adjust", 2227], ["dim", 2238], ["dimmed", 2238], ["lit", 2244], ["light", 2244], ["tear", 2271], ["teared", 2271], ["tears", 2271], ["prick", 2277], ["wait", 2298], ["waitest", 2298], ["waiting", 2298], ["inside", 2310], ["wear", 2341], ["wears", 2341], ["tailor", 2350], ["tailorest", 2350], ["fit", 2357], ["fitting", 2357], ["fitted", 2357], ["outshine", 2399], ["outshone", 2399], ["outshined", 2399], ["outshining", 2399], ["sun", 2407], ["suns", 2407], ["sunned", 2407], ["extend", 2420], ["extended", 2420], ["extends", 2420], ["loop", 2441], ["looping", 2441], ["mine", 2446], ["shift", 2501], ["shifted", 2501], ["surrounding", 2532], ["surroundings", 2532], ["word", 2563], ["words", 2563], ["transform", 2594], ["transformed", 2594], ["ballroom", 2610], ["ballrooms", 2610], ["kind", 2622], ["chandelier", 2653], ["chandeliers", 2653], ["hung", 2668], ["hang", 2668], ["hangs", 2668], ["basketball", 2688], ["hoop", 2694], ["hooped", 2694], ["hooping", 2694], ["hoops", 2694], ["even", 2701], ["evens", 2701], ["twinkle", 2714], ["lit", 2721], ["light", 2721], ["lights", 2721], ["strung", 2732], ["string", 2732], ["strings", 2732], ["along", 2742], ["wall", 2752], ["walls", 2752], ["crisscross", 2770], ["crisscrosses", 2770], ["across", 2777], ["ceiling", 2789], ["space", 2808], ["spaced", 2808], ["spacing", 2808], ["sparkly", 2819], ["romantic", 2832], ["must", 2849], ["musts", 2849], ["nearly", 2859], ["every", 2865], ["student", 2873], ["teacher", 2885], ["gather", 2894], ["gatherest", 2894], ["gathered", 2894], ["overflow", 2932], ["overflowest", 2932], ["overflowing", 2932], ["pack", 2943], ["packed", 2943], ["body", 2955], ["bodied", 2955], ["bodies", 2955], ["everyone", 2966], ["dress", 2977], ["dressest", 2977], ["dressed", 2977], ["beautifully", 2989], ["gown", 3005], ["gowns", 3005], ["gowning", 3005], ["despite", 3025], ["crowd", 3037], ["crowdest", 3037], ["crowding", 3037], ["crowded", 3037], ["room", 3046], ["roomed", 3046], ["perfectly", 3072], ["clear", 3078], ["clearest", 3078], ["path", 3083], ["middle", 3097], ["middles", 3097], ["middling", 3097], ["form", 3138], ["formest", 3138], ["forming", 3138], ["face", 3149], ["archway", 3199], ["sort", 3212], ["set", 3216], ["center", 3233], ["greenery", 3251], ["flower", 3263], ["flowers", 3263], ["wind", 3269], ["wound", 3269], ["wounding", 3269], ["big", 3294], ["bigs", 3294], ["biggest", 3294], ["chandelier", 3311], ["hung", 3324], ["hang", 3324], ["hangs", 3324], ["drake", 3380], ["foot", 3390], ["feet", 3390], ["automatically", 3412], ["still", 3444], ["grow", 3473], ["growest", 3473], ["grows", 3473], ["big", 3480], ["bigs", 3480], ["bigger", 3480], ["walk", 3501], ["hundred", 3525], ["hundreds", 3525], ["follow", 3543], ["following", 3543], ["gaze", 3571], ["gazes", 3571], ["fix", 3577], ["fixes", 3577], ["seem", 3600], ["seeming", 3600], ["contain", 3611], ["containest", 3611], ["grin", 3624], ["approach", 3638], ["approaches", 3638], ["costume", 3676], ["costumed", 3676], ["suit", 3681], ["suited", 3681], ["tight", 3689], ["white", 3695], ["slack", 3702], ["slacks", 3702], ["black", 3717], ["boot", 3723], ["boots", 3723], ["red", 3731], ["jacket", 3743], ["jacketed", 3743], ["gold", 3753], ["golds", 3753], ["trim", 3758], ["trimmer", 3758], ["button", 3770], ["buttoning", 3770], ["buttons", 3770], ["fringe", 3801], ["thing", 3808], ["things", 3808], ["dark", 3815], ["cuff", 3826], ["cuffs", 3826], ["golden", 3839], ["sash", 3844], ["hip", 3901], ["hips", 3901], ["walk", 3932], ["walked", 3932], ["page", 3951], ["fairy", 3962], ["fairys", 3962], ["tale", 3967], ["stop", 3986], ["front", 3995], ["press", 4020], ["presses", 4020], ["kiss", 4027], ["kisses", 4027], ["kissest", 4027], ["temple", 4037], ["walk", 4047], ["walks", 4047], ["edge", 4059], ["edges", 4059], ["crowd", 4072], ["crowdest", 4072], ["crowding", 4072], ["insanely", 4118], ["great", 4144], ["greatest", 4144], ["love", 4149], ["story", 4155], ["tell", 4165], ["told", 4165], ["place", 4213], ["placing", 4213], ["cheek", 4232], ["cheeks", 4232], ["bite", 4241], ["low", 4250], ["lowed", 4250], ["lip", 4254], ["lipped", 4254], ["keep", 4262], ["keepest", 4262], ["break", 4284], ["broke", 4284], ["breaking", 4284], ["world", 4300], ["worlds", 4300], ["left", 4330], ["leave", 4330], ["moment", 4359], ["moments", 4359], ["scene", 4378], ["many", 4422], ["familiar", 4431], ["face", 4437], ["faces", 4437], ["watch", 4446], ["watching", 4446], ["see", 4457], ["lake", 4462], ["far", 4488], ["away", 4493], ["mr", 4498], ["scott", 4505], ["smile", 4512], ["smiles", 4512], ["brightly", 4521], ["principal", 4533], ["shake", 4546], ["shakes", 4546], ["head", 4555], ["catch", 4581], ["catches", 4581], ["catched", 4581], ["way", 4615], ["ways", 4615], ["robin", 4629], ["robins", 4629], ["robert", 4638], ["roberts", 4638], ["sage", 4645], ["kale", 4656]]
a cold , hard knot formed in her stomach as she watched dane stomp across the living room , grab an afghan , and throw it around the girl 's shoulders . surely this girl is n't his lover . asked dane in a pissed-off voice . the girl 's gaze assessed marissa . why is she half-naked ? '' `` why is she half-naked ? why are you half-naked ? '' dane stood about a foot from the girl , his arms crossed , his expression thunderous . he 'd apparently forgotten he was in his boxers . `` do n't pretend , lover , '' purred the girl . `` you can tell her about us . '' you 're just a kid , for god 's sake . '' the girl flung off the afghan and stood . `` i see a little girl playing dress up . '' she sauntered to him and pressed against his folded arms ; her fingers trailed his biceps . he jumped back like she 'd dropped acid on him . `` i 'm old enough , damn it . '' her gaze skittered toward marissa . dane sent her a shut-up look . `` i-i 'll be twenty-three in a couple of months , '' she added lamely . `` get dressed , janey . '' the girl 's lips formed a mutinous pout . lingerie . '' the girl plopped on the couch , pulled up her knees , and put her arms around her legs . it was a position that suggested vulnerability and a need for protection . janey was a girl wanting badly to be a woman . marissa felt a tug of sympathy . she knew well how janey felt . on the table next to the couch were several candles of varying heights and colorsall half-melted . they explained the sweet scents filtering through the apartment . she also noticed two table trays . dinner for two had been arranged carefully . each tray had a dinner plate , dessert plate , utensils , and champagne flutes . the girl had attempted to create a romantic atmosphere . janey obviously had a huge crush on dane . if the frowning , confused expression on dane 's face was any indication , the big galoot was clueless . tears formed in the girl 's eyes . `` i want you to like me . '' dane 's harsh features softened . `` you 're the best softball pitcher at the center . '' `` that 's all you ever see . how good i am at sports . '' her head dipped as if she did n't want dane to see her cry . a shuddering sob shook her shoulders and she tightened into a ball . sympathy flowered into a need to act . marissa stepped forward . `` he thinks you 're beautiful . '' janey looked up . marissa dared a glance at dane . his mouth was opening and closing like freshly-caught fish . she sent him a just-go-with-it look . his answering look said i-will-kill-you-later . `` he was just telling me how beautiful you are . how your blonde hair shines in the sunlight when you 're pitching . '' and how nice you look in your uniform . '' marissa 's smile faltered . `` but , alas , he knows that you can never be his . '' `` i-i ca n't ? '' he 's already made the decision that he must admire you from afar . '' `` because he 's old . '' janey and marissa both looked at dane . `` see the lines around his eyes ? the graying hair ? soon , his gut will start to sag . his muscles will turn to mush . he 'll go bald . '' `` eeeew . '' marissa thought the tiny blood vessel pulsing in dane 's forehead was going to explode , but she pressed on . he could n't know the fragility of a young girl 's self-esteem . better that janey walked away from him than face his rejection . `` you 'll be in the prime of your life . do you really want to take care of a doddering old man ? '' janey swiped her tear-streaked face . `` he 's so nice to me . he treats me with respect . he 's good-lookin ' right now . '' marissa silently agreed . `` it 's not really fair , though . how do you think he 'll feel walking around with a gorgeous young woman ? he 'll be afraid that you 'll leave him for another . he 'll watch you grow more beautiful as he gets older , grayer ... fatter . '' `` f-fatter ? '' janey looked at dane with alarm . `` i-i would n't want to hurt him . '' `` it 's up to you , '' said marissa . `` you can let him go now or be the source of his greatest sorrow in his golden years . '' janey examined dane with a scrunched-up expression . the girl was obviously giving him a mental makeover .	[["cold", 6], ["hard", 13], ["knot", 18], ["knotted", 18], ["form", 25], ["formest", 25], ["formed", 25], ["stomach", 40], ["stomachs", 40], ["stomaching", 40], ["watch", 55], ["watched", 55], ["dane", 60], ["stomp", 66], ["stomps", 66], ["stomping", 66], ["across", 73], ["room", 89], ["roomed", 89], ["grab", 96], ["afghan", 106], ["afghans", 106], ["throw", 118], ["around", 128], ["girl", 137], ["shoulder", 150], ["shouldered", 150], ["shoulders", 150], ["surely", 159], ["lover", 186], ["ask", 194], ["asked", 194], ["piss", 211], ["pissest", 211], ["pissed", 211], ["voice", 221], ["gaze", 240], ["gazes", 240], ["assess", 249], ["assessed", 249], ["marissa", 257], ["half", 275], ["naked", 281], ["stood", 352], ["stand", 352], ["standest", 352], ["foot", 365], ["arm", 390], ["arms", 390], ["cross", 398], ["crossing", 398], ["crossed", 398], ["expression", 415], ["thunderous", 426], ["apparently", 445], ["forget", 455], ["forgot", 455], ["forgotten", 455], ["boxer", 476], ["boxers", 476], ["pretend", 496], ["pretendest", 496], ["purr", 516], ["purrs", 516], ["purred", 516], ["tell", 543], ["kid", 580], ["god", 590], ["sake", 598], ["sakes", 598], ["fling", 618], ["flung", 618], ["see", 654], ["little", 663], ["playing", 676], ["dress", 682], ["dressest", 682], ["saunter", 704], ["sauntered", 704], ["press", 723], ["pressed", 723], ["fold", 742], ["folded", 742], ["finger", 761], ["fingers", 761], ["trail", 769], ["trailed", 769], ["bicep", 780], ["biceps", 780], ["jump", 792], ["jumps", 792], ["jumped", 792], ["back", 797], ["like", 802], ["drop", 817], ["dropped", 817], ["acid", 822], ["acids", 822], ["old", 843], ["enough", 850], ["damn", 857], ["damned", 857], ["skitter", 884], ["toward", 891], ["send", 911], ["sent", 911], ["shut", 922], ["look", 930], ["twenty", 953], ["three", 959], ["couple", 971], ["month", 981], ["months", 981], ["add", 996], ["added", 996], ["lamely", 1003], ["get", 1012], ["lip", 1050], ["lipped", 1050], ["lips", 1050], ["mutinous", 1068], ["pout", 1073], ["lingerie", 1084], ["plop", 1106], ["plopped", 1106], ["couch", 1119], ["couchest", 1119], ["pull", 1128], ["pulled", 1128], ["knee", 1141], ["knees", 1141], ["put", 1151], ["leg", 1176], ["legs", 1176], ["position", 1196], ["suggest", 1211], ["suggested", 1211], ["vulnerability", 1225], ["need", 1236], ["needest", 1236], ["protection", 1251], ["badly", 1284], ["woman", 1298], ["womans", 1298], ["feel", 1313], ["felt", 1313], ["tug", 1319], ["tugging", 1319], ["sympathy", 1331], ["know", 1342], ["knowest", 1342], ["knew", 1342], ["well", 1347], ["wells", 1347], ["table", 1377], ["tabled", 1377], ["tabling", 1377], ["next", 1382], ["several", 1408], ["candle", 1416], ["candles", 1416], ["vary", 1427], ["varies", 1427], ["varied", 1427], ["varying", 1427], ["height", 1435], ["heights", 1435], ["explain", 1478], ["explained", 1478], ["sweet", 1488], ["scent", 1495], ["scentest", 1495], ["scents", 1495], ["filter", 1505], ["filterest", 1505], ["filtering", 1505], ["apartment", 1527], ["also", 1538], ["notice", 1546], ["noticed", 1546], ["two", 1550], ["twos", 1550], ["dinner", 1571], ["arrange", 1597], ["arranging", 1597], ["arranged", 1597], ["carefully", 1607], ["tray", 1619], ["trays", 1619], ["plate", 1638], ["plating", 1638], ["dessert", 1648], ["utensil", 1665], ["utensils", 1665], ["champagne", 1681], ["flute", 1688], ["fluting", 1688], ["flutes", 1688], ["attempt", 1713], ["attempted", 1713], ["create", 1723], ["romantic", 1734], ["atmosphere", 1745], ["obviously", 1763], ["huge", 1774], ["crush", 1780], ["crushest", 1780], ["frown", 1806], ["frowning", 1806], ["face", 1844], ["indication", 1863], ["big", 1873], ["bigs", 1873], ["galoot", 1880], ["galoots", 1880], ["clueless", 1893], ["tear", 1901], ["teared", 1901], ["tears", 1901], ["eye", 1928], ["eyed", 1928], ["eyes", 1928], ["harsh", 1974], ["feature", 1983], ["features", 1983], ["soften", 1992], ["softens", 1992], ["softened", 1992], ["good", 2014], ["best", 2014], ["softball", 2023], ["center", 2045], ["ever", 2074], ["everest", 2074], ["good", 2089], ["sport", 2104], ["sports", 2104], ["head", 2118], ["dip", 2125], ["dipped", 2125], ["cry", 2168], ["sob", 2187], ["sobs", 2187], ["sobbed", 2187], ["shake", 2193], ["shook", 2193], ["tighten", 2225], ["tightens", 2225], ["tightenest", 2225], ["tightened", 2225], ["ball", 2237], ["flower", 2257], ["flowered", 2257], ["act", 2276], ["acted", 2276], ["step", 2294], ["stepped", 2294], ["forward", 2302], ["forwardest", 2302], ["forwarding", 2302], ["think", 2317], ["thinkest", 2317], ["thinks", 2317], ["beautiful", 2335], ["beautifulest", 2335], ["look", 2353], ["looked", 2353], ["dare", 2372], ["dared", 2372], ["glance", 2381], ["mouth", 2401], ["mouthed", 2401], ["open", 2413], ["close", 2425], ["freshly", 2438], ["catch", 2445], ["catches", 2445], ["catched", 2445], ["caught", 2445], ["fish", 2450], ["fishes", 2450], ["fishest", 2450], ["go", 2475], ["goest", 2475], ["say", 2514], ["sayest", 2514], ["said", 2514], ["kill", 2526], ["later", 2536], ["tell", 2561], ["telling", 2561], ["blonde", 2604], ["hair", 2609], ["shine", 2616], ["shone", 2616], ["shined", 2616], ["shines", 2616], ["sunlight", 2632], ["pitch", 2654], ["pitching", 2654], ["nice", 2672], ["uniform", 2697], ["smile", 2719], ["falter", 2728], ["falters", 2728], ["faltered", 2728], ["alas", 2744], ["know", 2755], ["knowest", 2755], ["knows", 2755], ["never", 2774], ["ca", 2796], ["cas", 2796], ["already", 2819], ["decision", 2837], ["must", 2850], ["musts", 2850], ["admire", 2857], ["afar", 2871], ["line", 2959], ["lines", 2959], ["gray", 2989], ["grays", 2989], ["graying", 2989], ["soon", 3001], ["gut", 3011], ["start", 3022], ["sag", 3029], ["muscle", 3043], ["muscles", 3043], ["turn", 3053], ["mush", 3061], ["mushed", 3061], ["bald", 3078], ["balds", 3078], ["balded", 3078], ["balding", 3078], ["think", 3113], ["thinkest", 3113], ["thought", 3113], ["tiny", 3122], ["blood", 3128], ["bloods", 3128], ["blooded", 3128], ["vessel", 3135], ["pulse", 3143], ["pulsing", 3143], ["forehead", 3163], ["go", 3173], ["goest", 3173], ["going", 3173], ["explode", 3184], ["know", 3225], ["knowest", 3225], ["fragility", 3239], ["young", 3250], ["youngest", 3250], ["self", 3263], ["esteem", 3270], ["esteems", 3270], ["esteemed", 3270], ["well", 3279], ["wells", 3279], ["walk", 3297], ["walked", 3297], ["away", 3302], ["rejection", 3335], ["prime", 3364], ["primed", 3364], ["priming", 3364], ["life", 3377], ["lifes", 3377], ["really", 3393], ["take", 3406], ["care", 3411], ["man", 3434], ["mans", 3434], ["manned", 3434], ["swipe", 3452], ["tear", 3461], ["teared", 3461], ["streak", 3470], ["streaks", 3470], ["streaked", 3470], ["treat", 3512], ["treats", 3512], ["treatest", 3512], ["respect", 3528], ["right", 3556], ["rightest", 3556], ["silently", 3582], ["agree", 3589], ["agreed", 3589], ["fair", 3616], ["fairs", 3616], ["fairest", 3616], ["though", 3625], ["think", 3644], ["thinkest", 3644], ["feel", 3656], ["walk", 3664], ["walking", 3664], ["gorgeous", 3687], ["afraid", 3718], ["left", 3737], ["leave", 3737], ["another", 3753], ["watch", 3768], ["grow", 3777], ["growest", 3777], ["get", 3803], ["gets", 3803], ["old", 3809], ["f", 3839], ["fs", 3839], ["ves", 3839], ["alarm", 3883], ["hurt", 3915], ["hurts", 3915], ["hurting", 3915], ["let", 3978], ["lets", 3978], ["source", 4006], ["great", 4022], ["greatest", 4022], ["sorrow", 4029], ["golden", 4043], ["year", 4049], ["years", 4049], ["examine", 4069], ["examined", 4069], ["scrunch", 4091], ["scrunching", 4091], ["scrunched", 4091], ["give", 4137], ["giving", 4137], ["mental", 4150], ["makeover", 4159]]
but beyond that , he knew she liked her feet uncovered and she giggled when he waved her favorite panda-bear teething toy in front of her face . it was so damn little to know . he should know more . he would know more . he would n't be that part-time parent jetting off for months only to find out his child had met a milestone while he was gone . he had options , damn it . and in the morning , he could lose her to a woman who did n't think anything of disappearing for nearly three months . he 'd never known this kind of fear before , not even when he 'd been shot down in afghanistan . the full impact of that crushed his chest until he damn near could n't breathe . he could n't even imagine what kind of hell phoebe must be feeling . his wife had loved this little girl for months . he started to reach for phoebe , but she stepped deeper into the room . she quietly called out to the sitter , gently waking her , smiling her thanks and telling her she was free to go to the guest room across the hall . once the sitter bustled past him and into the other room , phoebe curled up in the corner of the daybed as she 'd done her first night here . watching her distance herself from him , kyle realized he was n't just in danger of losing his daughter , he could also lose his wife . `` i 'm here to pick up my daughter . '' bianca strode into the foyer of the landis mansion , flicking her wavy red hair over her shoulder with a gesture phoebe recognized as calculated to catch male eyes . at least today , kyle seemed oblivious to bianca 's dubious charms , currently encased in skinny jeans and a lime-green tank top . his barely banked anger steamed behind his eyes . nina did n't seem to notice the tension , however , as she patted him on the face with her panda-bear teether clutched in her chubby fist . even as tense as things were between her and kyle , phoebe was relieved to have his support in this standoff with bianca . he 'd called the rest of his family this morning and they would all return within hours . kyle palmed phoebe 's back . `` let 's all step into the living room and talk . there 's a lot to go over from the past few months . '' bianca eyed the wide-open entryway , her deeply tanned fingers gliding over a blue-and-white faberge egg by a crystal vase of lilacs . she strolled deeper into the living room . the whole decor was undoubtedly formal , but in an airy , comfortable way . phoebe feared bianca was seeing dollar signs . but if she 'd only wanted money , would n't she have come to kyle right away ? bianca spun on her spiky green high heel and extended her arms . she gripped nina so firmly phoebe had no choice but to let go . `` are n't you beautiful , and so big ? '' `` yeah , '' kyle muttered , `` they grow . as a matter of fact , they grow a lot if you do n't see them for nearly three months . '' phoebe rested a hand on his arm , wary of angering bianca , especially when they did n't have a clue what she had in mind . do you realize how worried we 've been ? '' `` were you worried about me , or did you just care because of nina ? '' lifting an eyebrow , she hitched the baby on her hip awkwardly . nina squirmed and threw her panda-bear plastic teether on the floor . i 'm back and ready to see my girl . '' kyle stood , feet braced , in the archway between the living room and foyer as if blocking any chance of escape . `` you fell off the face of the earth so completely we thought you might be dead . you still have n't told us where you were . '' i went to the islands with this important director . he said he had a part for me . '' bianca pried nina 's fingers off her giant gold-hoop earrings . `` he lied , the scum , but i got a vacation out of it . mothers need vacations . i 'm all rested now and ready to snuggle with my little girl . '' phoebe resisted the urge to grab nina and run . `` you ca n't just abandon nina for months and think i 'll trust you to take care of her . '' bianca looked back and forth between kyle and phoebe standing close together . `` ah , i see how it is . '' she jostled nina uncomfortably as the baby tried to climb down . `` you 've got kyle now and if you lose the kid , you lose him . i can see how you would n't want to give all that up . ''	[["beyond", 10], ["know", 25], ["knowest", 25], ["knew", 25], ["like", 35], ["liked", 35], ["foot", 44], ["feet", 44], ["uncover", 54], ["uncovers", 54], ["uncovered", 54], ["uncoverest", 54], ["giggle", 70], ["giggled", 70], ["wave", 84], ["waved", 84], ["favorite", 97], ["favoritest", 97], ["panda", 103], ["pandas", 103], ["bore", 108], ["bear", 108], ["bearest", 108], ["teethe", 117], ["teething", 117], ["toy", 121], ["toyed", 121], ["toyest", 121], ["front", 130], ["face", 142], ["damn", 159], ["damned", 159], ["little", 166], ["know", 174], ["knowest", 174], ["part", 245], ["parting", 245], ["time", 250], ["parent", 257], ["jet", 265], ["jetting", 265], ["month", 280], ["months", 280], ["find", 293], ["child", 307], ["childs", 307], ["meet", 315], ["meeted", 315], ["met", 315], ["milestone", 327], ["go", 345], ["goest", 345], ["gone", 345], ["option", 362], ["options", 362], ["morning", 393], ["lose", 409], ["woman", 424], ["womans", 424], ["think", 442], ["thinkest", 442], ["anything", 451], ["disappear", 467], ["disappearing", 467], ["nearly", 478], ["three", 484], ["never", 505], ["know", 511], ["knowest", 511], ["known", 511], ["kind", 521], ["fear", 529], ["fearest", 529], ["even", 547], ["evens", 547], ["shoot", 568], ["shooted", 568], ["shot", 568], ["afghanistan", 588], ["full", 599], ["impact", 606], ["crush", 622], ["crushest", 622], ["crushed", 622], ["chest", 632], ["near", 651], ["breathe", 669], ["breathes", 669], ["imagine", 697], ["hell", 715], ["hells", 715], ["phoebe", 722], ["must", 727], ["musts", 727], ["feel", 738], ["feeling", 738], ["wife", 749], ["love", 759], ["loved", 759], ["girl", 776], ["start", 800], ["started", 800], ["reach", 809], ["step", 838], ["stepped", 838], ["deeply", 845], ["room", 859], ["roomed", 859], ["quietly", 873], ["call", 880], ["called", 880], ["sitter", 898], ["gently", 907], ["wake", 914], ["wakes", 914], ["woken", 914], ["waking", 914], ["smile", 928], ["smiling", 928], ["thank", 939], ["thanks", 939], ["thankest", 939], ["tell", 951], ["telling", 951], ["free", 968], ["go", 974], ["goest", 974], ["guest", 987], ["guestest", 987], ["across", 999], ["hall", 1008], ["bustle", 1034], ["bustled", 1034], ["bustling", 1034], ["past", 1039], ["curl", 1083], ["curls", 1083], ["curled", 1083], ["corner", 1100], ["daybed", 1114], ["first", 1139], ["firstest", 1139], ["night", 1145], ["watch", 1161], ["watching", 1161], ["distance", 1174], ["distancing", 1174], ["kyle", 1198], ["realize", 1207], ["realized", 1207], ["danger", 1233], ["lose", 1243], ["losing", 1243], ["daughter", 1256], ["also", 1272], ["pick", 1309], ["bianca", 1336], ["stride", 1343], ["stridden", 1343], ["foyer", 1358], ["landis", 1372], ["mansion", 1380], ["flick", 1391], ["flickest", 1391], ["wavy", 1400], ["red", 1404], ["hair", 1409], ["shoulder", 1427], ["shouldered", 1427], ["gesture", 1442], ["recognize", 1460], ["recognized", 1460], ["calculate", 1474], ["calculated", 1474], ["catch", 1483], ["catches", 1483], ["catched", 1483], ["male", 1488], ["males", 1488], ["eye", 1493], ["eyed", 1493], ["eyes", 1493], ["least", 1504], ["leastest", 1504], ["today", 1510], ["seem", 1524], ["seeming", 1524], ["seemed", 1524], ["oblivious", 1534], ["dubious", 1555], ["charm", 1562], ["charmest", 1562], ["charms", 1562], ["currently", 1574], ["encase", 1582], ["encased", 1582], ["skinny", 1592], ["jean", 1598], ["jeans", 1598], ["lime", 1609], ["green", 1615], ["greens", 1615], ["tank", 1620], ["top", 1624], ["barely", 1637], ["anger", 1650], ["steam", 1658], ["steams", 1658], ["steamed", 1658], ["steamest", 1658], ["behind", 1665], ["nina", 1681], ["seem", 1694], ["seeming", 1694], ["notice", 1704], ["tension", 1716], ["however", 1726], ["pat", 1742], ["patted", 1742], ["teether", 1786], ["clutch", 1795], ["clutched", 1795], ["chubby", 1809], ["fist", 1814], ["tense", 1830], ["thing", 1840], ["things", 1840], ["relieve", 1888], ["relieved", 1888], ["support", 1908], ["standoff", 1925], ["rest", 1961], ["family", 1975], ["return", 2014], ["returnest", 2014], ["within", 2021], ["hour", 2027], ["hours", 2027], ["back", 2056], ["let", 2065], ["lets", 2065], ["step", 2077], ["talk", 2107], ["lot", 2124], ["eye", 2177], ["eyed", 2177], ["wide", 2186], ["open", 2191], ["entryway", 2200], ["deeply", 2213], ["tan", 2220], ["tanned", 2220], ["finger", 2228], ["fingers", 2228], ["glide", 2236], ["gliding", 2236], ["blue", 2248], ["white", 2258], ["faberge", 2266], ["egg", 2270], ["egging", 2270], ["crystal", 2283], ["vase", 2288], ["vases", 2288], ["lilacs", 2298], ["stroll", 2313], ["strollest", 2313], ["strolled", 2313], ["whole", 2353], ["wholes", 2353], ["decor", 2359], ["undoubtedly", 2375], ["formal", 2382], ["airy", 2399], ["comfortable", 2413], ["way", 2417], ["ways", 2417], ["fear", 2433], ["fearest", 2433], ["feared", 2433], ["see", 2451], ["seeing", 2451], ["dollar", 2458], ["sign", 2464], ["signs", 2464], ["money", 2498], ["moneys", 2498], ["come", 2524], ["right", 2538], ["rightest", 2538], ["away", 2543], ["spun", 2557], ["spin", 2557], ["spiky", 2570], ["high", 2581], ["heel", 2586], ["heeled", 2586], ["extend", 2599], ["extended", 2599], ["arm", 2608], ["arms", 2608], ["grip", 2622], ["firmly", 2637], ["choice", 2658], ["beautiful", 2699], ["beautifulest", 2699], ["big", 2712], ["bigs", 2712], ["yeah", 2725], ["mutter", 2744], ["mutterest", 2744], ["muttering", 2744], ["muttered", 2744], ["grow", 2759], ["growest", 2759], ["matter", 2773], ["mattering", 2773], ["fact", 2781], ["see", 2817], ["rest", 2865], ["rested", 2865], ["hand", 2872], ["arm", 2883], ["wary", 2890], ["anger", 2902], ["angering", 2902], ["especially", 2922], ["clue", 2952], ["clues", 2952], ["mind", 2973], ["minding", 2973], ["realize", 2990], ["care", 3071], ["lift", 3100], ["eyebrow", 3111], ["hitch", 3125], ["hitched", 3125], ["hitches", 3125], ["baby", 3134], ["hip", 3145], ["hips", 3145], ["awkwardly", 3155], ["squirm", 3171], ["squirmed", 3171], ["throw", 3181], ["threw", 3181], ["plastic", 3204], ["floor", 3225], ["ready", 3247], ["stood", 3278], ["stand", 3278], ["standest", 3278], ["archway", 3309], ["block", 3358], ["blocks", 3358], ["blocking", 3358], ["chance", 3369], ["chanced", 3369], ["chancing", 3369], ["escape", 3379], ["escapes", 3379], ["fall", 3393], ["falls", 3393], ["fell", 3393], ["earth", 3419], ["earths", 3419], ["earthest", 3419], ["completely", 3433], ["think", 3444], ["thinkest", 3444], ["thought", 3444], ["may", 3454], ["mays", 3454], ["mayest", 3454], ["might", 3454], ["dead", 3462], ["still", 3474], ["tell", 3488], ["told", 3488], ["go", 3518], ["goest", 3518], ["went", 3518], ["island", 3533], ["islands", 3533], ["important", 3553], ["director", 3562], ["say", 3572], ["sayest", 3572], ["said", 3572], ["pry", 3611], ["pried", 3611], ["prying", 3611], ["giant", 3641], ["gold", 3646], ["golds", 3646], ["hoop", 3651], ["hooped", 3651], ["hooping", 3651], ["earring", 3660], ["earrings", 3660], ["lay", 3673], ["lie", 3673], ["lain", 3673], ["lied", 3673], ["scum", 3684], ["get", 3696], ["got", 3696], ["vacation", 3707], ["mother", 3727], ["mothered", 3727], ["motherest", 3727], ["mothers", 3727], ["need", 3732], ["needest", 3732], ["vacation", 3742], ["vacations", 3742], ["snuggle", 3785], ["resist", 3826], ["resistest", 3826], ["resisted", 3826], ["urge", 3835], ["grab", 3843], ["run", 3856], ["ca", 3868], ["cas", 3868], ["abandon", 3885], ["trust", 3923], ["take", 3935], ["look", 3966], ["looked", 3966], ["forth", 3981], ["standing", 4014], ["close", 4020], ["together", 4029], ["ah", 4037], ["jostle", 4072], ["jostles", 4072], ["jostled", 4072], ["uncomfortably", 4091], ["try", 4109], ["tryed", 4109], ["tried", 4109], ["climb", 4118], ["kid", 4173], ["give", 4231]]
my dentist also believed quite strongly in using nitrous oxide for even routine procedures . i sort of knew what to expect when i was taking those drugs . jesse probably had n't taken so much as an aspirin since he left his parents ' house . the drugs dr. kline gave him were too strong for someone who 'd most likely never even been drunk . the sound it made when dr. kline set the bone made me queasy . i was actually thankful in that moment that i had been sedated when he had to reset my leg . by the time we left the office jesse was n't feeling any pain . he was staring at me like he was dreaming . i was staring back because he was my dream . dr. kline gave me all the instructions for caring for his foot because he was not in a state where he would remember . and then i took him back to my place . he was fine for about the first thirty minutes . he sat on the sofa staring into space and then he turned to me , and asked , `` why did the doctor call you bebe ? '' `` because my real name is bianca . '' bianca . '' `` jade , i think you 're beautiful . '' i love your long hair and the way your eyes look at me , '' he paused . `` who is bianca ? '' why do i call you jade ? '' `` i prefer jade . '' `` my name is jesse . '' i like your name , jesse . '' he did n't seem to be in pain . he also did n't seem to notice that he was at my place . then he started acting funny . i gave him water . i tried to feed him , but he said he had no appetite . he looked around like he 'd realized he did n't know where he was but he did n't say anything about that . suddenly he started to turn green . `` is it really hot in here , jade ? i 'm so hot . '' and then he whipped his shirt off . i swear time stopped . `` my god , jesse , you are beautiful . '' i mean , i knew he was well muscled but my imagination did not do him justice . he was built like a god . every inch of him was muscle . it was all i could do to keep my hands to myself even as he stood sweating and looking like he might faint . `` i 'm a nobody , jade . you 're always good to me and i am just stubborn , '' he paused . `` where is my shirt ? '' `` you just took it off a second ago because you were hot . '' `` its so hot . why is that music so loud ? '' `` what music ? '' `` that music , the music that 's always playing . `` i do n't hear it , jesse , '' i said as i tried to sit him back down . `` oh no , i think i 'm going to be sick , '' he gasped and he tensed up . i took him down the hall toward the bathroom , but when we passed my room he asked if he could just lie down for a while . and there was the man i 'd been dreaming of for sixteen months laying in my bed . he closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a few moments as i watched him . his color got a little better . i got a damp washcloth , took off his glasses and laid the cool cloth across his forehead . i went to the kitchen , got the trashcan and some water just in case he got sick . i gently took the boot off his leg and set it aside . then i sat down on the bed and watched him . he looked like he was asleep but then he suddenly started talking . i began to answer him , but he kept talking , like he was talking to someone else . i have n't ever come here when she was n't here . i do n't know how to get to this place . wish for it . i do n't have that magic . yes , she told me , but that was different , she made it happen . '' he was having a conversation i did n't understand , and i wished i knew what was going on in his head . i was in whatever the dream was that he was having . jesse was pacing a place that looked like what i might have imagined the inside of a cloud to look like . there was a very small , old lady sitting there watching him , but she noticed me and smiled then she pressed her finger to her lips . `` what happened to you , miel ? '' `` that 's what my great-grandma used to call me . is this just because of the drugs the doctor gave me ? '' `` it 's a common term of endearment where we come from . i broke my foot . '' `` and where are you now in your reality ? '' `` i 'm at a friend 's apartment , i think . '' obviously he did not think of me the way i though of him , regardless of what he said in the stock room .	[["dentist", 10], ["also", 15], ["believe", 24], ["believed", 24], ["quite", 30], ["strongly", 39], ["use", 48], ["using", 48], ["nitrous", 56], ["oxide", 62], ["even", 71], ["evens", 71], ["routine", 79], ["routined", 79], ["procedure", 90], ["procedures", 90], ["sort", 99], ["know", 107], ["knowest", 107], ["knew", 107], ["expect", 122], ["take", 140], ["taking", 140], ["drug", 152], ["drugs", 152], ["jesse", 160], ["jessed", 160], ["probably", 169], ["take", 183], ["taken", 183], ["much", 191], ["aspirin", 205], ["aspirins", 205], ["since", 211], ["left", 219], ["leave", 219], ["parent", 231], ["parents", 231], ["house", 239], ["dr", 254], ["drs", 254], ["kline", 261], ["give", 266], ["gave", 266], ["strong", 286], ["never", 323], ["drunk", 339], ["sound", 351], ["set", 378], ["bone", 387], ["bonest", 387], ["queasy", 402], ["thankful", 428], ["moment", 443], ["sedate", 467], ["sedated", 467], ["reset", 488], ["leg", 495], ["time", 509], ["office", 528], ["feel", 550], ["feeling", 550], ["pain", 559], ["stare", 576], ["stared", 576], ["staring", 576], ["like", 587], ["dream", 603], ["dreamt", 603], ["dreamest", 603], ["dreaming", 603], ["back", 624], ["dream", 648], ["dreamt", 648], ["dreamest", 648], ["instruction", 689], ["instructions", 689], ["care", 700], ["caring", 700], ["foot", 713], ["state", 743], ["remember", 767], ["rememberest", 767], ["take", 785], ["took", 785], ["place", 806], ["fine", 820], ["first", 840], ["firstest", 840], ["thirty", 847], ["minute", 855], ["minutes", 855], ["sat", 864], ["sit", 864], ["sofa", 876], ["space", 895], ["spaced", 895], ["spacing", 895], ["turn", 914], ["turned", 914], ["ask", 932], ["asked", 932], ["doctor", 956], ["doctoring", 956], ["doctorest", 956], ["call", 961], ["reis", 994], ["real", 994], ["name", 999], ["bianca", 1009], ["jade", 1034], ["think", 1044], ["thinkest", 1044], ["beautiful", 1062], ["beautifulest", 1062], ["love", 1074], ["long", 1084], ["longs", 1084], ["hair", 1089], ["way", 1101], ["ways", 1101], ["eye", 1111], ["eyed", 1111], ["eyes", 1111], ["look", 1116], ["pause", 1137], ["paused", 1137], ["prefer", 1201], ["prefered", 1201], ["preferest", 1201], ["seem", 1282], ["seeming", 1282], ["notice", 1329], ["start", 1371], ["started", 1371], ["act", 1378], ["acted", 1378], ["acting", 1378], ["funny", 1384], ["water", 1403], ["try", 1413], ["tryed", 1413], ["tried", 1413], ["fed", 1421], ["feed", 1421], ["say", 1439], ["sayest", 1439], ["said", 1439], ["appetite", 1458], ["appetites", 1458], ["look", 1470], ["looked", 1470], ["around", 1477], ["realize", 1497], ["realized", 1497], ["know", 1513], ["knowest", 1513], ["say", 1545], ["sayest", 1545], ["anything", 1554], ["suddenly", 1576], ["turn", 1595], ["green", 1601], ["greens", 1601], ["really", 1619], ["hot", 1623], ["whip", 1677], ["whipped", 1677], ["shirt", 1687], ["swear", 1701], ["sweared", 1701], ["stop", 1714], ["stopped", 1714], ["god", 1726], ["mean", 1766], ["meanest", 1766], ["well", 1787], ["wells", 1787], ["muscle", 1795], ["muscled", 1795], ["imagination", 1814], ["justice", 1837], ["build", 1852], ["builds", 1852], ["built", 1852], ["every", 1871], ["inch", 1876], ["muscle", 1894], ["keep", 1926], ["keepest", 1926], ["hand", 1935], ["hands", 1935], ["stood", 1962], ["stand", 1962], ["standest", 1962], ["sweat", 1971], ["sweating", 1971], ["look", 1983], ["looking", 1983], ["may", 1997], ["mays", 1997], ["mayest", 1997], ["might", 1997], ["faint", 2003], ["nobody", 2022], ["always", 2046], ["good", 2051], ["stubborn", 2080], ["second", 2156], ["seconded", 2156], ["ago", 2160], ["music", 2220], ["musics", 2220], ["loud", 2228], ["play", 2301], ["playest", 2301], ["playing", 2301], ["hear", 2320], ["hears", 2320], ["sat", 2361], ["sit", 2361], ["oh", 2383], ["go", 2407], ["goest", 2407], ["going", 2407], ["sick", 2418], ["gasp", 2433], ["gasps", 2433], ["gasped", 2433], ["tense", 2447], ["tensed", 2447], ["hall", 2477], ["toward", 2484], ["bathroom", 2497], ["pass", 2518], ["passed", 2518], ["room", 2526], ["roomed", 2526], ["lay", 2556], ["lie", 2556], ["lain", 2556], ["man", 2597], ["mans", 2597], ["manned", 2597], ["sixteen", 2631], ["sixteens", 2631], ["month", 2638], ["months", 2638], ["lay", 2645], ["lays", 2645], ["layed", 2645], ["layest", 2645], ["laying", 2645], ["bed", 2655], ["close", 2667], ["closed", 2667], ["breathe", 2689], ["breathes", 2689], ["breathed", 2689], ["deeply", 2696], ["moment", 2714], ["moments", 2714], ["watch", 2727], ["watched", 2727], ["color", 2743], ["get", 2747], ["got", 2747], ["little", 2756], ["well", 2763], ["wells", 2763], ["damp", 2778], ["damps", 2778], ["damped", 2778], ["washcloth", 2788], ["glass", 2811], ["glasses", 2811], ["lay", 2820], ["lays", 2820], ["layed", 2820], ["layest", 2820], ["laid", 2820], ["cool", 2829], ["cloth", 2835], ["across", 2842], ["forehead", 2855], ["go", 2864], ["goest", 2864], ["went", 2864], ["kitchen", 2879], ["kitchens", 2879], ["trashcan", 2898], ["case", 2926], ["gently", 2949], ["boot", 2963], ["aside", 2992], ["asleep", 3068], ["talk", 3105], ["talking", 3105], ["begin", 3115], ["began", 3115], ["answer", 3125], ["answeres", 3125], ["answerest", 3125], ["keep", 3143], ["keepest", 3143], ["kept", 3143], ["else", 3189], ["ever", 3207], ["everest", 3207], ["come", 3212], ["get", 3266], ["wish", 3287], ["magic", 3321], ["yes", 3327], ["tell", 3338], ["told", 3338], ["different", 3366], ["happen", 3387], ["conversation", 3421], ["understand", 3442], ["understanded", 3442], ["wish", 3457], ["wished", 3457], ["head", 3494], ["whatever", 3514], ["pace", 3566], ["imagine", 3618], ["imagined", 3618], ["inside", 3629], ["cloud", 3640], ["clouded", 3640], ["small", 3678], ["old", 3684], ["lady", 3689], ["sat", 3697], ["sit", 3697], ["sitting", 3697], ["watch", 3712], ["watching", 3712], ["notice", 3734], ["noticed", 3734], ["smile", 3748], ["smiled", 3748], ["press", 3765], ["pressed", 3765], ["finger", 3776], ["lip", 3788], ["lipped", 3788], ["lips", 3788], ["happen", 3807], ["happened", 3807], ["great", 3851], ["grandma", 3859], ["grandmas", 3859], ["use", 3864], ["used", 3864], ["common", 3953], ["commons", 3953], ["commonest", 3953], ["term", 3958], ["terming", 3958], ["endearment", 3972], ["break", 4001], ["broke", 4001], ["reality", 4055], ["friend", 4080], ["apartment", 4093], ["obviously", 4118], ["though", 4158], ["regardless", 4178], ["stock", 4207]]
i knew you were all right , mitchell , from the minute i laid eyes on you . i 've almost forgiven you for breaking down my historic door . not quite , but almost . '' `` it 'll be good as new in another day or so , '' clyde said . `` i 'm letting the glue dry . '' `` i have n't heard any complaints about the missing door . '' betsy glanced from mitch to ally . `` i suppose you 've made do . '' ally knew she was blushing and could n't do a thing about it . `` we 've made do , '' she said . betsy nodded . `` in that case , it might be worth a broken door . '' * * * vivian stormed into the fifth wheel , tracking dirt and snow all over the carpet . she unzipped her coat and plopped down on kurt 's unmade bed . `` she 's hopeless . '' kurt put aside his bowl of instant oatmeal . `` you mean she does n't know how to take pictures ? '' let 's not get too deep into this cover story , kurt baby . next thing you 'll be expecting me to know how to take pictures . '' `` i thought you 'd been practicing . '' `` well , yeah , i 've practiced . '' which meant she 'd done zip . probably the only picture she 'd taken had been of his willy . you 're supposed to know how to work all those cameras you bought . she 'll expect that . '' `` i can fake it . '' `` i sure hope to hell you can . '' kurt had a sinking sensation that all was not going according to plan . at least vivian had come out of the top hat alone last night . he 'd been worried she 'd get distracted by the waiter and forget she was supposed to seduce mitchell , instead . `` do n't worry about whether i 'll use the cameras right , okay , kurt ? what i 'm trying to explain to you is that this is n't working because she 's totally uncooperative . '' `` she does n't want to buy the camera equipment yet ! '' `` i guess there 's no rush . once she sees you with yours , she 'll want the same thing . '' vivian popped up and started pacing around , which was n't easy in the cramped quarters . she kept bumping into things . `` she 's not going along with anything . not the coffee-table book , not the expensive cameras . she wants success the old-fashioned way . she wants to earn it . what a ridiculous attitude that is ! '' kurt decided to steer vivian onto a different subject . this one was going nowhere , and she was getting more furious by the second . `` did you seduce mitchell last night ? '' he 's playing footsie with your little miss perfect , and i was stock with my vibrator all night long ! '' she rounded on him and waggled her finger in his face . `` i 'm warning you , i 'm not doing that again tonight . i ca n't be expected to live that way . a vibrator should be reserved for emergencies only ! '' `` you 're absolutely right , viv . '' god , how was he going to keep her on task ? she 'd come up with the idea in no time , but coaxing her to follow through was turning into a nightmare . he was n't crazy about having her on the loose when she was in this kind of mood . `` she wants us to go out and take pictures . so that 's what we 're going to do . '' `` just out , kurt ! into the wilderness ! '' `` was n't that what you expected ? '' `` i expected this to move a whole lot faster , is what i expected . '' they 'd been in porcupine less than twenty-four hours . he decided it would n't be prudent to say that and enrage her even more . `` it 'll work out , viv . once she sees all the cool equipment you have , she 'll want the same thing , and then we 'll talk her into the coffee table book , and more equipment . i was thinking we could get her to buy into a gallery , and- '' `` peanuts ! '' vivian zipped up her coat in one angry movement . `` it 's all peanuts ! '' then she went out the door , slamming it behind her . kurt would have followed , except he was still in his underwear . vivian had n't even noticed . she had n't tried any of her usual tricks , like making him eat all his oatmeal by promising him a blw jb if he licked the bowl clean . sometimes he got the blw jb and sometimes not . granted , when vivian was totally focused on sex , she was unpredictable , but at least he was familiar with that behavior . he 'd never known her to lose all interest in sex .	[["know", 6], ["knowest", 6], ["knew", 6], ["right", 25], ["rightest", 25], ["mitchell", 36], ["minute", 54], ["lay", 61], ["lays", 61], ["layed", 61], ["layest", 61], ["laid", 61], ["eye", 66], ["eyed", 66], ["eyes", 66], ["almost", 88], ["forgive", 97], ["forgived", 97], ["forgiving", 97], ["forgiven", 97], ["break", 114], ["broke", 114], ["breaking", 114], ["historic", 131], ["door", 136], ["quite", 148], ["good", 184], ["new", 191], ["another", 202], ["day", 206], ["clyde", 223], ["say", 228], ["sayest", 228], ["said", 228], ["let", 246], ["lets", 246], ["letting", 246], ["glue", 255], ["dry", 259], ["drier", 259], ["drying", 259], ["hear", 284], ["hears", 284], ["heard", 284], ["complaint", 299], ["complaints", 299], ["miss", 317], ["missing", 317], ["betsy", 333], ["glance", 341], ["glanced", 341], ["mitch", 352], ["ally", 360], ["allied", 360], ["allying", 360], ["suppose", 375], ["blush", 423], ["blushes", 423], ["thing", 448], ["nod", 506], ["nodded", 506], ["may", 535], ["mays", 535], ["mayest", 535], ["might", 535], ["worth", 544], ["vivian", 576], ["storm", 584], ["stormed", 584], ["fifth", 599], ["wheel", 605], ["wheeled", 605], ["track", 616], ["dirt", 621], ["snow", 630], ["carpet", 650], ["unzip", 665], ["unzips", 665], ["unzipped", 665], ["coat", 674], ["plop", 686], ["plopped", 686], ["kurt", 699], ["unmade", 709], ["bed", 713], ["hopeless", 734], ["put", 748], ["aside", 754], ["bowl", 763], ["bowling", 763], ["instant", 774], ["oatmeal", 782], ["mean", 796], ["meanest", 796], ["know", 814], ["knowest", 814], ["take", 826], ["picture", 835], ["pictures", 835], ["let", 844], ["lets", 844], ["get", 855], ["deep", 864], ["deeply", 864], ["cover", 880], ["story", 886], ["baby", 898], ["next", 905], ["expect", 932], ["expecting", 932], ["think", 982], ["thinkest", 982], ["thought", 982], ["practice", 1005], ["practicing", 1005], ["well", 1018], ["wells", 1018], ["yeah", 1025], ["practice", 1043], ["practiced", 1043], ["mean", 1060], ["meanest", 1060], ["meant", 1060], ["zip", 1076], ["zips", 1076], ["zipped", 1076], ["probably", 1087], ["picture", 1104], ["take", 1117], ["taken", 1117], ["willy", 1139], ["suppose", 1158], ["supposed", 1158], ["work", 1178], ["wrought", 1178], ["camera", 1196], ["cameras", 1196], ["buy", 1207], ["buyed", 1207], ["bought", 1207], ["expect", 1224], ["fake", 1248], ["sure", 1266], ["hope", 1271], ["hell", 1279], ["hells", 1279], ["sink", 1311], ["sank", 1311], ["sinking", 1311], ["sensation", 1321], ["go", 1344], ["goest", 1344], ["going", 1344], ["accord", 1354], ["according", 1354], ["plan", 1362], ["least", 1373], ["leastest", 1373], ["come", 1389], ["top", 1404], ["hat", 1408], ["hatting", 1408], ["alone", 1414], ["last", 1419], ["night", 1425], ["worry", 1446], ["worried", 1446], ["distract", 1468], ["distracted", 1468], ["waiter", 1482], ["forget", 1493], ["forgot", 1493], ["seduce", 1520], ["seducing", 1520], ["instead", 1539], ["worry", 1557], ["worried", 1557], ["whether", 1571], ["use", 1581], ["okay", 1606], ["try", 1632], ["tryed", 1632], ["trying", 1632], ["explain", 1643], ["work", 1678], ["wrought", 1678], ["working", 1678], ["totally", 1701], ["uncooperative", 1715], ["buy", 1748], ["buyed", 1748], ["camera", 1759], ["cameras", 1759], ["equipment", 1769], ["yet", 1773], ["guess", 1789], ["rush", 1806], ["see", 1822], ["sees", 1822], ["pop", 1886], ["popped", 1886], ["start", 1901], ["started", 1901], ["pace", 1908], ["around", 1915], ["easy", 1936], ["cramp", 1951], ["cramping", 1951], ["cramped", 1951], ["quarter", 1960], ["quartering", 1960], ["quarters", 1960], ["keep", 1971], ["keepest", 1971], ["kept", 1971], ["bump", 1979], ["bumpest", 1979], ["bumping", 1979], ["thing", 1991], ["things", 1991], ["along", 2019], ["anything", 2033], ["coffee", 2050], ["table", 2056], ["tabled", 2056], ["tabling", 2056], ["book", 2061], ["expensive", 2081], ["success", 2109], ["successes", 2109], ["old", 2117], ["way", 2131], ["ways", 2131], ["earn", 2151], ["ridiculous", 2174], ["attitude", 2183], ["decide", 2209], ["decided", 2209], ["steer", 2218], ["steerest", 2218], ["onto", 2230], ["ontos", 2230], ["different", 2242], ["subject", 2250], ["subjectest", 2250], ["nowhere", 2279], ["get", 2301], ["getting", 2301], ["furious", 2314], ["second", 2328], ["seconded", 2328], ["play", 2387], ["playest", 2387], ["playing", 2387], ["footsie", 2395], ["little", 2412], ["miss", 2417], ["perfect", 2425], ["perfectest", 2425], ["stock", 2443], ["vibrator", 2460], ["long", 2475], ["longs", 2475], ["round", 2492], ["rounded", 2492], ["waggle", 2511], ["waggling", 2511], ["finger", 2522], ["face", 2534], ["warn", 2552], ["tonight", 2592], ["ca", 2599], ["cas", 2599], ["expect", 2615], ["expected", 2615], ["live", 2623], ["reserve", 2664], ["reserved", 2664], ["reserving", 2664], ["emergency", 2680], ["emergencies", 2680], ["absolutely", 2712], ["viv", 2724], ["god", 2733], ["keep", 2760], ["keepest", 2760], ["task", 2772], ["tasking", 2772], ["taskest", 2772], ["idea", 2803], ["time", 2814], ["coax", 2828], ["coaxed", 2828], ["coaxes", 2828], ["coaxing", 2828], ["follow", 2842], ["turn", 2862], ["turning", 2862], ["nightmare", 2879], ["nightmares", 2879], ["crazy", 2898], ["loose", 2928], ["looser", 2928], ["kind", 2954], ["mood", 2962], ["go", 2986], ["goest", 2986], ["wilderness", 3091], ["move", 3162], ["whole", 3170], ["wholes", 3170], ["lot", 3174], ["fast", 3181], ["porcupine", 3233], ["less", 3238], ["twenty", 3250], ["four", 3255], ["hour", 3261], ["hours", 3261], ["prudent", 3298], ["say", 3305], ["sayest", 3305], ["enrage", 3321], ["enrages", 3321], ["enraging", 3321], ["even", 3330], ["evens", 3330], ["cool", 3391], ["talk", 3463], ["think", 3532], ["thinkest", 3532], ["thinking", 3532], ["gallery", 3571], ["peanut", 3592], ["peanuts", 3592], ["zip", 3611], ["zips", 3611], ["zipped", 3611], ["angry", 3636], ["movement", 3645], ["go", 3687], ["goest", 3687], ["went", 3687], ["slam", 3711], ["slamming", 3711], ["behind", 3721], ["follow", 3752], ["followed", 3752], ["except", 3761], ["still", 3774], ["underwear", 3791], ["notice", 3821], ["noticed", 3821], ["try", 3841], ["tryed", 3841], ["tried", 3841], ["usual", 3858], ["trick", 3865], ["tricks", 3865], ["like", 3872], ["eat", 3887], ["promise", 3916], ["promising", 3916], ["lick", 3944], ["licked", 3944], ["clean", 3959], ["cleans", 3959], ["get", 3978], ["got", 3978], ["grant", 4019], ["grantest", 4019], ["granted", 4019], ["focus", 4053], ["focused", 4053], ["sex", 4060], ["unpredictable", 4084], ["unpredictables", 4084], ["familiar", 4115], ["behavior", 4134], ["never", 4148], ["know", 4154], ["knowest", 4154], ["known", 4154], ["lose", 4166], ["interest", 4179]]
though doris moved a bit more slowly these days , she delighted in spending time with claire , and jeremy could n't help but smile whenever he saw a pregnant woman enter the restaurant , asking for doris . he supposed it was to be expected now . three years ago , jeremy had finally decided to take doris up on her offer about the journal and had made arrangements for an experiment under controlled settings . in all , doris met with ninety-three women and made her predictions , and when the records were unsealed a year later , doris had been correct in each and every instance . a year later , the short book he wrote about doris stayed on the best-seller list for five months ; in his conclusion , jeremy admitted that there was no scientific explanation . jeremy made his way back to the living room . after tossing claire 's jacket on the chair beside his , he moved to the window and pushed aside the curtains . off to the side , nearly out of view , was the garden that he and lexie had started after moving into the house . he thought of lexie often , especially on quiet nights like these . in the years since she 'd passed away , he had n't dated , nor had he felt any desire to do so . he knew that people were worried about him . one by one , his friends and family had talked to him about other women , but his answer was always the same : he was too busy taking care of claire to even consider attempting another relationship . although this was somewhat true , what he did n't tell them was that part of him had died along with lexie . when he imagined her , he never saw her lying in the hospital bed . instead , he saw her smile as she 'd gazed at the town from the top of riker 's hill or her expression when they 'd felt the baby kick for the first time . he heard the contagious joy of her laughter or saw the look of concentration as she read a book . she was alive , always alive , and he wondered who he would have been had lexie never come into his life . would he have ever married ? would he still live in the city ? he did n't know , would never know , but when he thought back , it sometimes seemed as if his life had begun five years ago . he wondered whether in another few years he would remember anything at all about his life in new york or the person he used to be . yet he was n't unhappy . he was pleased with the man he 'd become , the father he 'd become . lexie had been right all along , for what gave his life meaning was love . he treasured those moments when claire wandered down the stairs in the mornings , while jeremy was reading the newspaper and sipping coffee . half the time , her pajamas were askew , one sleeve up , her tummy showing , the pants slightly twisted , and her dark hair was poofed out in a messy halo . in the bright light of the kitchen , she would pause momentarily and squint before rubbing her eyes . `` hi , daddy , '' she would say , her voice almost inaudible . `` hi , sweetheart , '' he would answer , and claire would go into his arms . as he lifted her and leaned back , she would relax against him , head on his shoulder , her small arms twined around his neck . `` i love you so much , '' jeremy would say , feeling the shallow movement of her chest as she breathed . at moments like those , he ached that she never knew her mother . jeremy slipped on his jacket and zipped it up . then , heading down the hall with her jacket , hat , and mittens , he went into claire 's bedroom . he placed his hand on her back and felt the quick rhythm of her heartbeat . `` claire , sweetie ? '' `` i need you to wake up . '' he shook her slightly , and she rolled her head from one side to the other . `` c'mon , sweetie , '' he said , reaching for her . he slowly scooped her into his arms , thinking how light she seemed . in just a few years , he would no longer be able to do this . she moaned slightly . he smiled , thinking she was the most beautiful child in the world . her eyes were still closed as she answered , `` okay , daddy . '' he sat her on the bed , slipped her rubber boots over the thick pajamas she 'd worn to bed , and draped her jacket around her shoulders , watching as she slipped her arms into the sleeves . he slid on her mittens , then her hat , and picked her up again . `` we 're going to take a ride , '' jeremy said , carrying her through the living room . as he adjusted her in his arms , he patted his pocket , making sure he had the keys . `` yes , '' he said , `` in the car . '' she looked around , her face showing the youthful confusion that he 'd come to adore . `` but it 's dark , '' she said .	[["though", 6], ["doris", 12], ["move", 18], ["moved", 18], ["bit", 24], ["bits", 24], ["slowly", 36], ["day", 47], ["days", 47], ["delight", 63], ["spend", 75], ["spends", 75], ["spendest", 75], ["time", 80], ["claire", 92], ["jeremy", 105], ["help", 120], ["helpest", 120], ["smile", 130], ["whenever", 139], ["see", 146], ["saw", 146], ["pregnant", 157], ["woman", 163], ["womans", 163], ["enter", 169], ["restaurant", 184], ["ask", 193], ["asking", 193], ["suppose", 217], ["supposed", 217], ["expect", 239], ["expected", 239], ["three", 251], ["year", 257], ["years", 257], ["ago", 261], ["finally", 282], ["decide", 290], ["decided", 290], ["take", 298], ["offer", 320], ["journal", 338], ["arrangement", 364], ["arrangements", 364], ["experiment", 382], ["control", 399], ["controlled", 399], ["setting", 408], ["settings", 408], ["meet", 429], ["meeted", 429], ["met", 429], ["ninety", 441], ["nineties", 441], ["woman", 453], ["womans", 453], ["women", 453], ["prediction", 478], ["predictions", 478], ["record", 501], ["records", 501], ["unseal", 515], ["unsealed", 515], ["unsealing", 515], ["year", 522], ["later", 528], ["correct", 553], ["every", 571], ["instance", 580], ["short", 607], ["book", 612], ["write", 621], ["writing", 621], ["wrote", 621], ["stay", 640], ["stayed", 640], ["good", 652], ["best", 652], ["seller", 659], ["list", 664], ["five", 673], ["fived", 673], ["month", 680], ["months", 680], ["conclusion", 700], ["admit", 718], ["admitted", 718], ["scientific", 747], ["explanation", 759], ["way", 781], ["ways", 781], ["back", 786], ["room", 805], ["roomed", 805], ["toss", 821], ["tossing", 821], ["jacket", 838], ["jacketed", 838], ["chair", 851], ["chairing", 851], ["beside", 858], ["window", 887], ["windows", 887], ["push", 898], ["pushed", 898], ["aside", 904], ["curtain", 917], ["curtaining", 917], ["curtains", 917], ["side", 935], ["sidest", 935], ["nearly", 944], ["view", 956], ["viewest", 956], ["garden", 973], ["gardens", 973], ["gardened", 973], ["lexie", 991], ["start", 1003], ["started", 1003], ["move", 1016], ["moving", 1016], ["house", 1031], ["think", 1044], ["thinkest", 1044], ["thought", 1044], ["often", 1059], ["especially", 1072], ["quiet", 1081], ["night", 1088], ["nights", 1088], ["like", 1093], ["since", 1120], ["pass", 1134], ["passed", 1134], ["away", 1139], ["date", 1158], ["dated", 1158], ["feel", 1176], ["felt", 1176], ["desire", 1187], ["know", 1206], ["knowest", 1206], ["knew", 1206], ["people", 1218], ["friend", 1268], ["friends", 1268], ["family", 1279], ["talk", 1290], ["talked", 1290], ["answer", 1332], ["answeres", 1332], ["answerest", 1332], ["always", 1343], ["busy", 1370], ["busied", 1370], ["take", 1377], ["taking", 1377], ["even", 1400], ["evens", 1400], ["consider", 1409], ["attempt", 1420], ["attempting", 1420], ["another", 1428], ["relationship", 1441], ["although", 1452], ["somewhat", 1470], ["true", 1475], ["tell", 1498], ["part", 1517], ["parting", 1517], ["die", 1533], ["died", 1533], ["along", 1539], ["imagine", 1569], ["imagined", 1569], ["never", 1584], ["lay", 1598], ["lie", 1598], ["lain", 1598], ["lying", 1598], ["hospital", 1614], ["bed", 1618], ["instead", 1628], ["gaze", 1663], ["gazes", 1663], ["gazed", 1663], ["town", 1675], ["top", 1688], ["hill", 1705], ["expression", 1723], ["baby", 1750], ["kick", 1755], ["first", 1769], ["firstest", 1769], ["hear", 1785], ["hears", 1785], ["heard", 1785], ["contagious", 1800], ["joy", 1804], ["joys", 1804], ["joyed", 1804], ["laughter", 1820], ["look", 1836], ["concentration", 1853], ["read", 1865], ["reads", 1865], ["alive", 1888], ["wonder", 1921], ["wonderest", 1921], ["wondered", 1921], ["come", 1965], ["life", 1979], ["lifes", 1979], ["ever", 2000], ["everest", 2000], ["marry", 2008], ["married", 2008], ["still", 2025], ["live", 2030], ["city", 2042], ["know", 2060], ["knowest", 2060], ["seem", 2128], ["seeming", 2128], ["seemed", 2128], ["begin", 2153], ["begun", 2153], ["whether", 2190], ["remember", 2229], ["rememberest", 2229], ["anything", 2238], ["new", 2267], ["york", 2272], ["yorks", 2272], ["person", 2286], ["use", 2294], ["used", 2294], ["yet", 2306], ["unhappy", 2325], ["pleased", 2342], ["man", 2355], ["mans", 2355], ["manned", 2355], ["become", 2368], ["father", 2381], ["fathered", 2381], ["fathering", 2381], ["right", 2417], ["rightest", 2417], ["give", 2443], ["gave", 2443], ["meaning", 2460], ["love", 2469], ["treasure", 2484], ["treasured", 2484], ["moment", 2498], ["moments", 2498], ["wander", 2519], ["wandered", 2519], ["stair", 2535], ["stairs", 2535], ["morning", 2551], ["mornings", 2551], ["read", 2578], ["reads", 2578], ["reading", 2578], ["newspaper", 2592], ["sip", 2604], ["sipping", 2604], ["coffee", 2611], ["half", 2618], ["pajama", 2641], ["pajamas", 2641], ["askew", 2652], ["sleeve", 2665], ["sleeving", 2665], ["tummy", 2680], ["show", 2688], ["showing", 2688], ["pant", 2700], ["pants", 2700], ["slightly", 2709], ["twist", 2717], ["twisted", 2717], ["twisting", 2717], ["dark", 2732], ["hair", 2737], ["poofed", 2748], ["poofing", 2748], ["messy", 2763], ["messier", 2763], ["halo", 2768], ["haloes", 2768], ["bright", 2784], ["brights", 2784], ["lit", 2790], ["light", 2790], ["kitchen", 2805], ["kitchens", 2805], ["pause", 2823], ["momentarily", 2835], ["squint", 2846], ["squinting", 2846], ["squintest", 2846], ["rub", 2861], ["rubbing", 2861], ["eye", 2870], ["eyed", 2870], ["eyes", 2870], ["hi", 2878], ["daddy", 2886], ["say", 2905], ["sayest", 2905], ["voice", 2917], ["almost", 2924], ["inaudible", 2934], ["sweetheart", 2955], ["go", 2998], ["goest", 2998], ["arm", 3012], ["arms", 3012], ["lift", 3027], ["lifted", 3027], ["lean", 3042], ["leans", 3042], ["leaned", 3042], ["relax", 3065], ["relaxed", 3065], ["head", 3084], ["shoulder", 3100], ["shouldered", 3100], ["small", 3112], ["twine", 3124], ["twined", 3124], ["around", 3131], ["neck", 3140], ["necked", 3140], ["much", 3164], ["feel", 3196], ["feeling", 3196], ["shallow", 3208], ["movement", 3217], ["chest", 3230], ["breathe", 3246], ["breathes", 3246], ["breathed", 3246], ["ache", 3281], ["ached", 3281], ["mother", 3312], ["mothered", 3312], ["motherest", 3312], ["slip", 3329], ["slipped", 3329], ["zip", 3354], ["zips", 3354], ["zipped", 3354], ["head", 3377], ["heading", 3377], ["hall", 3391], ["hat", 3413], ["hatting", 3413], ["go", 3437], ["goest", 3437], ["went", 3437], ["bedroom", 3460], ["place", 3472], ["placed", 3472], ["hand", 3481], ["quick", 3512], ["rhythm", 3519], ["rhythms", 3519], ["heartbeat", 3536], ["heartbeats", 3536], ["sweetie", 3558], ["need", 3573], ["needest", 3573], ["wake", 3585], ["wakes", 3585], ["woken", 3585], ["shake", 3602], ["shook", 3602], ["roll", 3632], ["rolled", 3632], ["come", 3677], ["say", 3702], ["sayest", 3702], ["said", 3702], ["reach", 3713], ["reaching", 3713], ["scoop", 3741], ["scooped", 3741], ["think", 3770], ["thinkest", 3770], ["thinking", 3770], ["long", 3834], ["able", 3842], ["abled", 3842], ["moan", 3866], ["moans", 3866], ["moanest", 3866], ["moaned", 3866], ["smile", 3887], ["smiled", 3887], ["beautiful", 3925], ["beautifulest", 3925], ["child", 3931], ["childs", 3931], ["world", 3944], ["close", 3973], ["closed", 3973], ["answer", 3989], ["answeres", 3989], ["answerest", 3989], ["answered", 3989], ["okay", 3999], ["sat", 4019], ["sit", 4019], ["rubber", 4055], ["boot", 4061], ["boots", 4061], ["thick", 4076], ["thickest", 4076], ["wear", 4096], ["worn", 4096], ["drape", 4116], ["drapes", 4116], ["draped", 4116], ["shoulder", 4148], ["shouldered", 4148], ["shoulders", 4148], ["watch", 4159], ["watching", 4159], ["sleeve", 4200], ["sleeving", 4200], ["sleeves", 4200], ["slid", 4210], ["mitten", 4225], ["mittens", 4225], ["pick", 4253], ["picked", 4253], ["go", 4284], ["goest", 4284], ["going", 4284], ["ride", 4299], ["rode", 4299], ["carry", 4327], ["carrying", 4327], ["adjust", 4372], ["adjusted", 4372], ["pat", 4400], ["patted", 4400], ["pocket", 4411], ["pocketing", 4411], ["sure", 4425], ["key", 4441], ["keyed", 4441], ["keyest", 4441], ["keys", 4441], ["yes", 4450], ["car", 4479], ["look", 4495], ["looked", 4495], ["face", 4513], ["youthful", 4534], ["confusion", 4544], ["adore", 4569], ["adores", 4569]]
granted , you could n't base a person 's entire character on one chivalrous act , but it was a pretty good indication he had a heart . `` he knows , and he cares . if anyone is holding back , mom , it 's me . he 's younger than me , he lives here , and apparently he plans to stay here , so ... i 'm not sure how it 's going to turn out . we 're still figuring things out . part of the reason i had n't told you and dad is because i do n't have any answers for you yet . '' her gaze strayed toward the double doors leading back to the treatment rooms . `` and who knows if we need them anymore . '' `` well , let 's think positively , '' gianna said . `` if you want this , fine . you know we 'll support you no matter what . but it seems to me you do n't know what you want , gabriella . if you cared about the path you were on , i 'd have thought you 'd be a little more careful about not sabotaging it . '' `` just so you know , '' she said coldly , `` we took precautions . they simply failed . '' gabby wanted to throw in that she could ask her two sons about that , but god , she did n't even know about brian yet . `` please stop stressing me out . '' gianna wiggled her foot impatiently , staring at the tv mounted in the corner . `` i wish they 'd hurry . you could hemorrhage to death out here and no one would care . '' i 'm going to the bathroom . '' carefully , gabby stood . her mom started to rise with her , but gabby waved her back down . once alone , she checked her pale reflection in the mirror . a wave of nausea took her over , and she struggled not to throw up , hoping she could find a vending machine with some crackers or something . an empty stomach seemed to make it worse , and she had n't eaten all day . her bleeding was n't any worse , so that was a good sign . idly , she checked her cell phone even though she knew she had n't heard it alert her to a call or message . her mother 's question echoed in her head . he seemed to . she 'd love it if he swooped in here and put everyone 's fears to rest , including her own , but that was romantic tripe . she stalled at the mirror because she did n't want to go back out there to her mom 's questions and opinions . a moment later , though , the door opened , and gianna stuck her head in . `` they called you back . '' taking a deep breath , gabby tossed her phone in her purse and followed her out to the waiting area . chapter fifteen the door closed behind the exiting client ian had been working on for the past two hours , and he allowed himself a nice , long stretch to work out the kinks in his muscles . there had been a steady stream of business today , and they 'd had to start putting people on a waiting list or set appointments for later , but right now there were no pressing matters , so he headed back to the break room . brian was in there pouring the fifth cup of coffee ian had seen him drink today , even though it was late afternoon . `` doing all right , brother ? '' ian asked , going to the fridge to get an energy drink . he needed his own jolt . `` ah , god , dude . i need an iv , '' brian said , replacing the carafe with one hand and gulping the black coffee with the other . `` she wanted watermelon oreos last night . i did n't know they even fking made watermelon oreos . but three o'clock in the fking morning , i 'm out looking for them . '' candace 's intense cravings had been a source of amusement for everyone at the studio . not for the first time , guilt ate into him for the secret he was keeping from his boss and good friend . but when was the best time to tell your boss/friend you 'd knocked up his sister ? certainly not when he was half-dead on his feet because of his own pregnant girlfriend 's midnight cravings . `` and you know , i 'm not complaining , '' he clarified . `` she does n't ask me to do this stuff , she just has to say , 'some watermelon oreos would be awesome ' , and i 'm gone . really , i ca n't wait for what she wants next . it 's pretty damn funny . '' ian cranked the tab on his can and drank in lieu of saying more . had gabby had any wild cravings ? he 'd do the same for her , though , if she stayed with him . but that would never f**king happen . dr. asshole no doubt had a mansion on a hill , and ian expected her to shack up with him in his one-bedroom apartment ?	[["grant", 7], ["grantest", 7], ["granted", 7], ["base", 28], ["basest", 28], ["person", 37], ["entire", 47], ["character", 57], ["chivalrous", 75], ["act", 79], ["acted", 79], ["pretty", 101], ["prettiest", 101], ["good", 106], ["indication", 117], ["heart", 132], ["know", 146], ["knowest", 146], ["knows", 146], ["care", 161], ["cares", 161], ["anyone", 173], ["hold", 184], ["holding", 184], ["back", 189], ["mom", 195], ["moms", 195], ["young", 222], ["youngest", 222], ["live", 241], ["apparently", 263], ["plan", 272], ["plans", 272], ["stay", 280], ["sure", 308], ["go", 324], ["goest", 324], ["going", 324], ["turn", 332], ["still", 351], ["figure", 360], ["figuring", 360], ["thing", 367], ["things", 367], ["part", 378], ["parting", 378], ["reason", 392], ["reasonest", 392], ["tell", 407], ["told", 407], ["dad", 419], ["answer", 456], ["answeres", 456], ["answerest", 456], ["answers", 456], ["yet", 468], ["gaze", 482], ["gazes", 482], ["stray", 490], ["strays", 490], ["strayed", 490], ["toward", 497], ["double", 508], ["door", 514], ["doors", 514], ["lead", 522], ["leaded", 522], ["leading", 522], ["treatment", 544], ["room", 550], ["roomed", 550], ["rooms", 550], ["need", 580], ["needest", 580], ["anymore", 593], ["well", 606], ["wells", 606], ["let", 612], ["lets", 612], ["think", 621], ["thinkest", 621], ["positively", 632], ["gianna", 644], ["say", 649], ["sayest", 649], ["said", 649], ["fine", 678], ["know", 689], ["knowest", 689], ["support", 704], ["matter", 718], ["mattering", 718], ["seem", 738], ["seeming", 738], ["seems", 738], ["gabriella", 786], ["care", 801], ["cared", 801], ["path", 816], ["think", 848], ["thinkest", 848], ["thought", 848], ["little", 867], ["careful", 880], ["sabotage", 901], ["sabotaged", 901], ["sabotaging", 901], ["coldly", 950], ["take", 963], ["took", 963], ["precaution", 975], ["precautions", 975], ["simply", 989], ["fail", 996], ["failed", 996], ["gabby", 1007], ["throw", 1023], ["ask", 1045], ["two", 1053], ["twos", 1053], ["son", 1058], ["sons", 1058], ["god", 1079], ["even", 1098], ["evens", 1098], ["brian", 1115], ["please", 1131], ["stop", 1136], ["stress", 1146], ["stressing", 1146], ["wiggle", 1173], ["wiggled", 1173], ["foot", 1182], ["impatiently", 1194], ["stare", 1204], ["stared", 1204], ["staring", 1204], ["tv", 1214], ["mount", 1222], ["mounted", 1222], ["mountest", 1222], ["corner", 1236], ["wish", 1248], ["hurry", 1262], ["hurried", 1262], ["hurryed", 1262], ["hurrying", 1262], ["hemorrhage", 1285], ["hemorrhaged", 1285], ["hemorrhages", 1285], ["hemorrhaging", 1285], ["death", 1294], ["care", 1325], ["bathroom", 1357], ["carefully", 1372], ["stood", 1386], ["stand", 1386], ["standest", 1386], ["start", 1404], ["started", 1404], ["rise", 1412], ["risen", 1412], ["wave", 1439], ["waved", 1439], ["alone", 1466], ["check", 1480], ["checked", 1480], ["pale", 1489], ["reflection", 1500], ["mirror", 1514], ["wave", 1523], ["waved", 1523], ["nausea", 1533], ["struggle", 1567], ["struggled", 1567], ["hope", 1592], ["hoping", 1592], ["find", 1607], ["machine", 1625], ["cracker", 1644], ["crackers", 1644], ["empty", 1668], ["stomach", 1676], ["stomachs", 1676], ["stomaching", 1676], ["seem", 1683], ["seeming", 1683], ["seemed", 1683], ["bad", 1700], ["worse", 1700], ["eat", 1724], ["eaten", 1724], ["day", 1732], ["bleeding", 1747], ["sign", 1791], ["idly", 1798], ["cell", 1821], ["phone", 1827], ["though", 1839], ["know", 1848], ["knowest", 1848], ["knew", 1848], ["hear", 1866], ["hears", 1866], ["heard", 1866], ["alert", 1875], ["alerted", 1875], ["call", 1889], ["message", 1900], ["mother", 1913], ["mothered", 1913], ["motherest", 1913], ["question", 1925], ["echo", 1932], ["echoed", 1932], ["head", 1944], ["love", 1973], ["swoop", 1990], ["swoopest", 1990], ["swooped", 1990], ["put", 2006], ["everyone", 2015], ["fear", 2024], ["fearest", 2024], ["fears", 2024], ["rest", 2032], ["include", 2044], ["including", 2044], ["romantic", 2076], ["tripe", 2082], ["stall", 2096], ["stalled", 2096], ["go", 2141], ["goest", 2141], ["question", 2180], ["questions", 2180], ["opinion", 2193], ["opinions", 2193], ["moment", 2204], ["later", 2210], ["door", 2230], ["open", 2237], ["opened", 2237], ["stick", 2256], ["stickest", 2256], ["stuck", 2256], ["call", 2285], ["called", 2285], ["take", 2306], ["taking", 2306], ["deep", 2313], ["deeply", 2313], ["breath", 2320], ["breathest", 2320], ["toss", 2335], ["tossed", 2335], ["purse", 2358], ["follow", 2371], ["followed", 2371], ["wait", 2394], ["waitest", 2394], ["waiting", 2394], ["area", 2399], ["chapter", 2409], ["fifteen", 2417], ["close", 2433], ["closed", 2433], ["behind", 2440], ["exit", 2452], ["exited", 2452], ["exiting", 2452], ["client", 2459], ["ian", 2463], ["work", 2480], ["wrought", 2480], ["working", 2480], ["past", 2496], ["hour", 2506], ["hours", 2506], ["allow", 2523], ["allowed", 2523], ["nice", 2538], ["long", 2545], ["longs", 2545], ["stretch", 2553], ["work", 2561], ["wrought", 2561], ["muscle", 2590], ["muscles", 2590], ["steady", 2616], ["stream", 2623], ["streams", 2623], ["streamed", 2623], ["streaming", 2623], ["business", 2635], ["today", 2641], ["start", 2668], ["put", 2676], ["putting", 2676], ["people", 2683], ["list", 2701], ["set", 2708], ["appointment", 2721], ["appointments", 2721], ["right", 2743], ["rightest", 2743], ["press", 2770], ["pressing", 2770], ["matter", 2778], ["mattering", 2778], ["matters", 2778], ["head", 2793], ["headed", 2793], ["break", 2811], ["broke", 2811], ["room", 2816], ["roomed", 2816], ["pour", 2845], ["pouring", 2845], ["fifth", 2855], ["cup", 2859], ["coffee", 2869], ["see", 2882], ["seen", 2882], ["drank", 2892], ["drink", 2892], ["drinking", 2892], ["late", 2924], ["lates", 2924], ["afternoon", 2934], ["brother", 2965], ["brethren", 2965], ["ask", 2980], ["asked", 2980], ["fridge", 3002], ["get", 3009], ["energy", 3019], ["need", 3037], ["needest", 3037], ["needed", 3037], ["jolt", 3050], ["jolted", 3050], ["ah", 3058], ["dude", 3071], ["iv", 3086], ["replace", 3114], ["replacing", 3114], ["carafe", 3125], ["hand", 3139], ["gulp", 3151], ["gulps", 3151], ["gulping", 3151], ["black", 3161], ["watermelon", 3210], ["last", 3221], ["night", 3227], ["three", 3296], ["morning", 3327], ["look", 3346], ["looking", 3346], ["candace", 3368], ["intense", 3379], ["craving", 3388], ["cravings", 3388], ["source", 3406], ["amusement", 3419], ["studio", 3446], ["first", 3466], ["firstest", 3466], ["time", 3471], ["guilt", 3479], ["guilts", 3479], ["eat", 3483], ["ate", 3483], ["secret", 3507], ["keep", 3522], ["keepest", 3522], ["keeping", 3522], ["boss", 3536], ["friend", 3552], ["good", 3576], ["best", 3576], ["tell", 3589], ["knock", 3621], ["knocks", 3621], ["knockest", 3621], ["knocked", 3621], ["sister", 3635], ["certainly", 3647], ["half", 3668], ["dead", 3673], ["foot", 3685], ["feet", 3685], ["pregnant", 3713], ["girlfriend", 3724], ["midnight", 3736], ["midnights", 3736], ["complain", 3786], ["complaining", 3786], ["clarify", 3804], ["clarified", 3804], ["stuff", 3846], ["say", 3868], ["sayest", 3868], ["oreo", 3893], ["awesome", 3910], ["go", 3928], ["goest", 3928], ["gone", 3928], ["really", 3937], ["ca", 3944], ["cas", 3944], ["wait", 3953], ["waitest", 3953], ["next", 3977], ["damn", 3997], ["damned", 3997], ["funny", 4003], ["crank", 4020], ["cranks", 4020], ["cranked", 4020], ["cranking", 4020], ["tab", 4028], ["tabs", 4028], ["tabbed", 4028], ["drank", 4049], ["lieu", 4057], ["say", 4067], ["sayest", 4067], ["saying", 4067], ["wild", 4097], ["wildest", 4097], ["stay", 4159], ["stayed", 4159], ["never", 4191], ["happen", 4206], ["dr", 4211], ["drs", 4211], ["asshole", 4220], ["doubt", 4229], ["mansion", 4243], ["hill", 4253], ["expect", 4272], ["expected", 4272], ["shack", 4285], ["bedroom", 4316], ["apartment", 4326]]
her bones felt like they were made of liquid , making her unable to move - to even breathe . she felt the release of his mouth , then the feel of his body moving up her own - the warmth of his skin searing across hers . she wanted to push him away , tell him she could n't take any more , but her hands were still bound . she was all his for the taking . `` you do n't think it 's over , do you ? are you a selfish lover , ari ? '' rafe asked as he settled his weight across her body and his teeth bit down on the soft lobe of her ear . she could feel the tip of his thick shaft pressing against her soft , wet opening . lacking the energy to form words she simply shook her head . he slowly pushed himself inside her , one inch at a time . he pushed deeper and she screamed . this was n't pleasurable . they did n't fit together . it hurts , '' she cried out . he laughed as his lips claimed her mouth , silencing her . he thrust his tongue inside at the same time his arousal pushed fully inside her . ari screamed as she sat up in bed , sweat dripping off her brow . she looked around in confusion , then gasped at the ache consuming her . you 're okay , it was just a dream , '' she said out loud . even her words could n't calm her . why was she fantasizing about rafe ? she had no business having an erotic dream about the man . it had to be from their meeting earlier that day . she 'd felt like a deer in headlights as he waited for her answer . ari was still shaking from the strength it had taken for her to stand and walk from that room . when he 'd leaned over her , his mouth nearing hers , she 'd almost arched her back , moved her body closer to him . she was finding his raw power to be an aphrodisiac . his seduction was hard to resist . she had a great job ; she had a few days to find help for her mom . it would be much easier for her to shun rafe palazzo if he was n't so magnetic . her body seemed to be drawn to him , and that could n't happen . still unable to calm her beating heart , ari stood and walked into her small bathroom . flipping on the light she looked at her flushed complexion in the mirror . she was shaking as if he really had been there stroking her flesh . `` it was only a dream , '' she said again , furrowing her brow at her reflection , as if she could n't believe her audacity to be so turned on . her one and only sexual experience had been in college and it had been horrible . the guy was only concerned with himself and had n't given her body time to prepare . the pain had been excruciating when he 'd thrust quickly inside her . she knew sex could be good , but she figured she was broken . that 's really why she did n't understand her dream . she could understand the end , the painful part , but the pleasure before that . she 'd never in her life felt something so intense and since she did n't have anything to compare it to , confusion swirled around in her head . she wished she 'd never read his papers , filled her mind with such ideas . she did n't want to be tied up with silk scarves . she certainly did n't want him to pleasure only himself and leave her aching . if only she was able to turn off her mind , purge him completely from her system . that would make her life so much easier than what it was right now . though it was still the middle of the night , she did n't think she would find sleep again anytime soon . turning on her shower , she stepped under the warm spray and washed away the sweat her erotic dream had produced . as she passed her fingers over her swollen folds , she flinched . never had a dream made her body ache . pressing her hand tightly against her heat , she tried to push out the ache that still throbbed from her very core all the way down the sensitive skin of her thighs . after a fifteen minute shower , she was no closer to feeling relief so she dried off and climbed back in bed . ari tossed and turned the rest of the night , not finding any solace in sleep . she was hungry , and when a woman craves something , there is no use in fighting it . chapter ten `` ari , would you like to join us ? we 're heading to the temple night club for some sushi and dancing . we must have some girl time before heading home to the husbands and kids for the entire weekend . '' ari smiled at miley , one of her co-workers . she really loved her job . the women she worked with were wonderful and patient as she learned her varying tasks , and now they even included her in going out with them . `` i 'd love to , '' she said , feeling truly good for the first time since her mother 's accident .	[["bone", 9], ["bonest", 9], ["bones", 9], ["feel", 14], ["felt", 14], ["like", 19], ["liquid", 44], ["unable", 64], ["unabled", 64], ["move", 72], ["even", 82], ["evens", 82], ["breathe", 90], ["breathes", 90], ["release", 113], ["mouth", 126], ["mouthed", 126], ["feel", 142], ["body", 154], ["bodied", 154], ["move", 161], ["moving", 161], ["warmth", 185], ["skin", 197], ["sear", 205], ["sears", 205], ["searing", 205], ["across", 212], ["push", 238], ["away", 247], ["tell", 254], ["take", 277], ["hand", 302], ["hands", 302], ["still", 313], ["bind", 319], ["bound", 319], ["taking", 352], ["think", 374], ["thinkest", 374], ["selfish", 414], ["selfishest", 414], ["lover", 420], ["ari", 426], ["ask", 442], ["asked", 442], ["settle", 456], ["settled", 456], ["weight", 467], ["weighted", 467], ["weightest", 467], ["tooth", 497], ["teeth", 497], ["bit", 501], ["bits", 501], ["soft", 518], ["lobe", 523], ["ear", 534], ["tip", 559], ["thick", 572], ["thickest", 572], ["shaft", 578], ["shafts", 578], ["press", 587], ["pressing", 587], ["wet", 610], ["opening", 618], ["lack", 628], ["lacking", 628], ["energy", 639], ["form", 647], ["formest", 647], ["word", 653], ["words", 653], ["simply", 664], ["shake", 670], ["shook", 670], ["head", 679], ["slowly", 691], ["push", 698], ["pushed", 698], ["inside", 713], ["inch", 728], ["time", 738], ["deeply", 757], ["scream", 774], ["screams", 774], ["screamed", 774], ["pleasurable", 801], ["fit", 820], ["fitting", 820], ["together", 829], ["hurt", 840], ["hurts", 840], ["hurting", 840], ["cry", 855], ["cried", 855], ["laugh", 872], ["laughed", 872], ["lip", 884], ["lipped", 884], ["lips", 884], ["claim", 892], ["claimed", 892], ["silence", 914], ["silencing", 914], ["thrust", 930], ["tongue", 941], ["tonguing", 941], ["arousal", 977], ["fully", 990], ["sat", 1027], ["sit", 1027], ["bed", 1037], ["sweat", 1045], ["drip", 1054], ["dripping", 1054], ["brow", 1067], ["look", 1080], ["looked", 1080], ["around", 1087], ["confusion", 1100], ["gasp", 1114], ["gasps", 1114], ["gasped", 1114], ["ache", 1126], ["ached", 1126], ["consume", 1136], ["consuming", 1136], ["okay", 1155], ["dream", 1177], ["dreamt", 1177], ["dreamest", 1177], ["say", 1191], ["sayest", 1191], ["said", 1191], ["loud", 1200], ["calm", 1232], ["calms", 1232], ["fantasize", 1262], ["fantasizing", 1262], ["business", 1295], ["erotic", 1312], ["man", 1332], ["mans", 1332], ["manned", 1332], ["meeting", 1366], ["early", 1374], ["day", 1383], ["deer", 1409], ["headlight", 1423], ["headlights", 1423], ["wait", 1436], ["waitest", 1436], ["waited", 1436], ["answer", 1451], ["answeres", 1451], ["answerest", 1451], ["shake", 1475], ["shaking", 1475], ["strength", 1493], ["take", 1506], ["taken", 1506], ["stood", 1523], ["stand", 1523], ["standest", 1523], ["walk", 1532], ["room", 1547], ["roomed", 1547], ["lean", 1567], ["leans", 1567], ["leaned", 1567], ["near", 1596], ["nearing", 1596], ["almost", 1617], ["arch", 1624], ["arched", 1624], ["back", 1633], ["move", 1641], ["moved", 1641], ["close", 1657], ["closer", 1657], ["find", 1682], ["finding", 1682], ["raw", 1690], ["power", 1696], ["aphrodisiac", 1717], ["seduction", 1733], ["hard", 1742], ["resist", 1752], ["resistest", 1752], ["great", 1770], ["job", 1774], ["jobbing", 1774], ["day", 1795], ["days", 1795], ["find", 1803], ["help", 1808], ["helpest", 1808], ["mom", 1820], ["moms", 1820], ["much", 1839], ["easy", 1846], ["easier", 1846], ["shun", 1862], ["shuns", 1862], ["shunning", 1862], ["palazzo", 1875], ["magnetic", 1901], ["seem", 1919], ["seeming", 1919], ["seemed", 1919], ["draw", 1931], ["draws", 1931], ["drawn", 1931], ["happen", 1966], ["beat", 2001], ["beating", 2001], ["heart", 2007], ["stood", 2019], ["stand", 2019], ["standest", 2019], ["walk", 2030], ["walked", 2030], ["small", 2045], ["bathroom", 2054], ["flip", 2065], ["flipping", 2065], ["lit", 2078], ["light", 2078], ["flush", 2104], ["flushed", 2104], ["complexion", 2115], ["mirror", 2129], ["really", 2163], ["stroke", 2187], ["stroking", 2187], ["flesh", 2197], ["fleshest", 2197], ["furrow", 2254], ["furrowed", 2254], ["furrowing", 2254], ["reflection", 2281], ["believe", 2311], ["audacity", 2324], ["turn", 2340], ["turned", 2340], ["sexual", 2369], ["experience", 2380], ["experienced", 2380], ["college", 2400], ["horrible", 2425], ["guy", 2435], ["give", 2485], ["given", 2485], ["prepare", 2510], ["pain", 2521], ["quickly", 2569], ["know", 2591], ["knowest", 2591], ["knew", 2591], ["sex", 2595], ["good", 2609], ["figure", 2627], ["figured", 2627], ["break", 2642], ["broke", 2642], ["broken", 2642], ["understand", 2686], ["understanded", 2686], ["end", 2727], ["ends", 2727], ["endest", 2727], ["painful", 2741], ["part", 2746], ["parting", 2746], ["pleasure", 2765], ["never", 2792], ["life", 2804], ["lifes", 2804], ["intense", 2830], ["since", 2840], ["anything", 2866], ["compare", 2877], ["swirl", 2903], ["swirls", 2903], ["swirlest", 2903], ["swirled", 2903], ["wish", 2935], ["wished", 2935], ["read", 2953], ["reads", 2953], ["paper", 2964], ["papers", 2964], ["fill", 2973], ["fills", 2973], ["filled", 2973], ["mind", 2982], ["minding", 2982], ["idea", 2998], ["ideas", 2998], ["tie", 3028], ["tying", 3028], ["tieing", 3028], ["tied", 3028], ["silk", 3041], ["scarf", 3049], ["certainly", 3065], ["left", 3117], ["leave", 3117], ["able", 3151], ["abled", 3151], ["turn", 3159], ["purge", 3180], ["completely", 3195], ["system", 3211], ["right", 3276], ["rightest", 3276], ["though", 3289], ["middle", 3313], ["middles", 3313], ["middling", 3313], ["night", 3326], ["slept", 3367], ["sleep", 3367], ["sleeps", 3367], ["sleepest", 3367], ["anytime", 3381], ["soon", 3386], ["turn", 3396], ["turning", 3396], ["shower", 3410], ["showered", 3410], ["showerest", 3410], ["step", 3424], ["stepped", 3424], ["warm", 3439], ["spray", 3445], ["sprayed", 3445], ["wash", 3456], ["washed", 3456], ["produce", 3501], ["produced", 3501], ["pass", 3517], ["passed", 3517], ["finger", 3529], ["fingers", 3529], ["fold", 3552], ["folds", 3552], ["flinch", 3567], ["flinched", 3567], ["hand", 3626], ["tightly", 3634], ["heat", 3651], ["heats", 3651], ["heated", 3651], ["try", 3663], ["tryed", 3663], ["tried", 3663], ["throb", 3704], ["throbs", 3704], ["throbbed", 3704], ["throbbing", 3704], ["core", 3723], ["way", 3735], ["ways", 3735], ["sensitive", 3754], ["thigh", 3773], ["thighs", 3773], ["fifteen", 3791], ["minute", 3798], ["feel", 3836], ["feeling", 3836], ["relief", 3843], ["reliefs", 3843], ["dry", 3856], ["drier", 3856], ["drying", 3856], ["dried", 3856], ["climb", 3872], ["climbed", 3872], ["toss", 3897], ["tossed", 3897], ["rest", 3917], ["solace", 3955], ["solacing", 3955], ["hungry", 3981], ["woman", 4000], ["womans", 4000], ["crave", 4007], ["craved", 4007], ["craving", 4007], ["craves", 4007], ["use", 4035], ["fight", 4047], ["fightest", 4047], ["chapter", 4060], ["ten", 4064], ["join", 4096], ["joinest", 4096], ["head", 4116], ["heading", 4116], ["temple", 4130], ["club", 4141], ["clubbed", 4141], ["clubbing", 4141], ["sushi", 4156], ["dance", 4168], ["dancing", 4168], ["must", 4178], ["musts", 4178], ["girl", 4193], ["home", 4218], ["homing", 4218], ["husband", 4234], ["husbanding", 4234], ["husbands", 4234], ["kid", 4243], ["kids", 4243], ["entire", 4258], ["weekend", 4266], ["smile", 4282], ["smiled", 4282], ["co", 4307], ["workers", 4315], ["love", 4334], ["loved", 4334], ["woman", 4354], ["womans", 4354], ["women", 4354], ["work", 4365], ["wrought", 4365], ["worked", 4365], ["wonderful", 4385], ["patient", 4397], ["learn", 4412], ["learnt", 4412], ["learns", 4412], ["learned", 4412], ["task", 4430], ["tasking", 4430], ["taskest", 4430], ["tasks", 4430], ["include", 4459], ["included", 4459], ["go", 4472], ["goest", 4472], ["going", 4472], ["love", 4501], ["truly", 4534], ["first", 4553], ["firstest", 4553], ["mother", 4575], ["mothered", 4575], ["motherest", 4575], ["accident", 4587]]
the laird frowned but extended his hand down to the younger soldier . `` you lasted longer this time , heath , but you 're still allowing emotion to rule your actions . until you learn to control that temper of yours , you 'll prove an easy mark in battle . '' heath scowled and did n't look appreciative of his laird 's criticism . he ignored ewan 's outstretched hand and scrambled to his feet , his face red with anger . it was then that the laird looked up and saw mairin standing there with christina . his eyes narrowed and she felt pinned by the force of his stare . he motioned for his tunic , which alaric tossed to him from the side . after hastily pulling it over his bare chest , he motioned for mairin to come forward . feeling strangely disappointed that he 'd put the tunic back on , she edged closer , all but dragging her heels in the dirt . she was a grown woman , but in front of this man , she felt like an errant child about to be called to task . a good confession would clear that up . `` come walk with me , lass . she swallowed and snuck a peek at christina , who performed a curtsy in the laird 's direction before turning and heading back the way they 'd come . his teeth flashed into a grin . the flash of humor caught her unawares and she smiled broadly , quite unaware of its effect on the men who saw it . `` very well , laird . since you 've offered me such reassurance , i 'll take the risk and accompany you . '' they walked from the courtyard and took a path that led up the hillside that overlooked the loch . at the top , the laird stopped and stared out over the water . `` my son says i have much to thank you for . '' she folded her hands in front of her , gathering a bit of the material of her gown in her fingers . he helped me as much as i helped him . '' the laird nodded . he brought you to me . '' mairin did n't like the way he said the last . there was too much possession in his voice . `` laird , i must depart today . if you can not spare a horse , i understand . i 'll leave on foot , though i would appreciate an escort to your border . '' he turned to her with an uplifted eyebrow . you would n't make it far , lass . you 'd be tossed over someone 's saddle and spirited away the moment you left my land . '' `` not if i 'm careful . '' `` as careful as you were when you got yourself abducted by duncan cameron 's men ? '' i was n't expecting ... '' faint amusement glittered in his eyes . `` does anyone ever expect to be abducted ? '' tell me something , lass . you appear to be someone who firmly believes in a promise . i 'd wager you expect people to remain true to their word . '' `` oh aye , '' she said fervently . `` and you exacted a promise from my son , is this not so ? '' `` and you expect him to keep that promise , do you not ? '' she squirmed uncomfortably but nodded even as guilt filled her . `` as it turns out , crispen also exacted a promise from me . '' somehow she had just maneuvered herself into a trap . `` i 'd say 't is hard to protect a lass if she 's out running all over the highlands on foot , would n't you say ? '' she scowled , unhappy with the direction this conversation was headed . `` i release you from his promise , '' she declared . shocked , she stared transfixed at the change such a gesture wrought on his features . my , but he was quite handsome . and he looked younger , not as hardened , though she 'd seen the scars , so she knew he was anything but soft . nay , he was a warrior . there was no telling how many men he 'd killed in battle . why , he could probably snap someone 's neck with his fingers . certainly hers . the thought had her reaching up to cover her throat . `` only crispen can release me from that promise , lass . as i 'm sure he told you , a mccabe always keeps his word . '' glumly , she remembered crispen saying just that . she also remembered his vow to her that his father would protect her . she 'd been too bent on self-preservation to really give thought to what that meant . `` are you saying i ca n't leave ? '' he seemed to consider her question for a moment , his gaze never straying from her . he stared until she squirmed under his scrutiny . `` if i knew you had a safe place to go , then of course i 'd allow you to go . to your family perhaps ? ''	[["laird", 9], ["frown", 17], ["frowns", 17], ["frowned", 17], ["extend", 30], ["extended", 30], ["hand", 39], ["young", 59], ["youngest", 59], ["soldier", 67], ["soldiered", 67], ["last", 83], ["lasted", 83], ["long", 90], ["longs", 90], ["time", 100], ["heath", 108], ["still", 128], ["allow", 137], ["allowing", 137], ["emotion", 145], ["rule", 153], ["action", 166], ["actions", 166], ["learn", 184], ["learnt", 184], ["learns", 184], ["control", 195], ["temper", 207], ["prof", 232], ["prove", 232], ["easy", 240], ["mark", 245], ["marks", 245], ["battle", 255], ["scowl", 274], ["scowls", 274], ["scowlest", 274], ["scowling", 274], ["scowled", 274], ["look", 291], ["appreciative", 304], ["criticism", 330], ["ignore", 343], ["ignored", 343], ["ewan", 348], ["scramble", 383], ["scrambled", 383], ["foot", 395], ["feet", 395], ["face", 406], ["red", 410], ["anger", 421], ["look", 457], ["looked", 457], ["see", 468], ["saw", 468], ["stood", 484], ["stand", 484], ["standest", 484], ["standing", 484], ["christina", 505], ["eye", 516], ["eyed", 516], ["eyes", 516], ["narrow", 525], ["narrowed", 525], ["feel", 538], ["felt", 538], ["pin", 545], ["pinned", 545], ["force", 558], ["stare", 571], ["stared", 571], ["motion", 585], ["tunic", 599], ["tunics", 599], ["alaric", 614], ["toss", 621], ["tossed", 621], ["side", 642], ["sidest", 642], ["hastily", 658], ["pull", 666], ["pulling", 666], ["bare", 683], ["chest", 689], ["come", 722], ["forward", 730], ["forwardest", 730], ["forwarding", 730], ["feel", 740], ["feeling", 740], ["strangely", 750], ["disappoint", 763], ["disappointed", 763], ["put", 778], ["back", 793], ["edge", 808], ["edges", 808], ["edged", 808], ["close", 815], ["closer", 815], ["drag", 834], ["dragging", 834], ["heel", 844], ["heeled", 844], ["heels", 844], ["dirt", 856], ["woman", 880], ["womans", 880], ["front", 895], ["man", 907], ["mans", 907], ["manned", 907], ["like", 923], ["errant", 933], ["child", 939], ["childs", 939], ["call", 958], ["called", 958], ["task", 966], ["tasking", 966], ["taskest", 966], ["good", 975], ["confession", 986], ["clear", 998], ["clearest", 998], ["walk", 1021], ["lass", 1036], ["swallow", 1052], ["swallows", 1052], ["swallowed", 1052], ["sneak", 1062], ["sneakest", 1062], ["peek", 1069], ["peeks", 1069], ["perform", 1098], ["performest", 1098], ["performed", 1098], ["curtsy", 1107], ["direction", 1133], ["turn", 1148], ["turning", 1148], ["head", 1160], ["heading", 1160], ["way", 1173], ["ways", 1173], ["tooth", 1198], ["teeth", 1198], ["flash", 1206], ["flashed", 1206], ["grin", 1218], ["flash", 1230], ["humor", 1239], ["humors", 1239], ["humorest", 1239], ["catch", 1246], ["catches", 1246], ["catched", 1246], ["caught", 1246], ["unaware", 1259], ["unawares", 1259], ["smile", 1274], ["smiled", 1274], ["broadly", 1282], ["quite", 1290], ["unaware", 1298], ["unawares", 1298], ["effect", 1312], ["man", 1323], ["mans", 1323], ["manned", 1323], ["men", 1323], ["well", 1349], ["wells", 1349], ["since", 1365], ["offer", 1381], ["offered", 1381], ["reassurance", 1401], ["take", 1414], ["risk", 1423], ["riskest", 1423], ["accompany", 1437], ["walk", 1458], ["walked", 1458], ["courtyard", 1477], ["take", 1486], ["took", 1486], ["path", 1493], ["lead", 1502], ["leaded", 1502], ["led", 1502], ["hillside", 1518], ["overlook", 1534], ["overlooked", 1534], ["loch", 1543], ["lochs", 1543], ["top", 1556], ["stop", 1576], ["stopped", 1576], ["stare", 1587], ["stared", 1587], ["water", 1606], ["son", 1618], ["say", 1623], ["sayest", 1623], ["says", 1623], ["much", 1635], ["thank", 1644], ["thanks", 1644], ["thankest", 1644], ["fold", 1668], ["folded", 1668], ["hand", 1678], ["hands", 1678], ["gather", 1706], ["gatherest", 1706], ["bit", 1712], ["bits", 1712], ["material", 1728], ["gown", 1740], ["gowns", 1740], ["gowning", 1740], ["finger", 1755], ["fingers", 1755], ["help", 1767], ["helpest", 1767], ["helped", 1767], ["nod", 1816], ["nodded", 1816], ["bring", 1829], ["brought", 1829], ["say", 1880], ["sayest", 1880], ["said", 1880], ["last", 1889], ["possession", 1921], ["voice", 1934], ["must", 1954], ["musts", 1954], ["depart", 1961], ["today", 1967], ["spare", 1990], ["horse", 1998], ["horsed", 1998], ["understand", 2013], ["understanded", 2013], ["left", 2027], ["leave", 2027], ["foot", 2035], ["though", 2044], ["appreciate", 2063], ["appreciates", 2063], ["escort", 2073], ["escorted", 2073], ["border", 2088], ["bordering", 2088], ["turn", 2103], ["turned", 2103], ["uplifted", 2127], ["eyebrow", 2135], ["far", 2163], ["saddle", 2212], ["spirit", 2225], ["spirited", 2225], ["away", 2230], ["moment", 2241], ["left", 2250], ["leave", 2250], ["land", 2258], ["careful", 2286], ["get", 2330], ["got", 2330], ["abduct", 2348], ["abducted", 2348], ["duncan", 2358], ["cameron", 2366], ["expect", 2398], ["expecting", 2398], ["faint", 2411], ["amusement", 2421], ["glitter", 2431], ["glittered", 2431], ["anyone", 2460], ["ever", 2465], ["everest", 2465], ["expect", 2472], ["tell", 2497], ["appear", 2530], ["firmly", 2555], ["believe", 2564], ["believes", 2564], ["promise", 2577], ["wager", 2590], ["wagering", 2590], ["people", 2608], ["remain", 2618], ["true", 2623], ["word", 2637], ["oh", 2648], ["aye", 2652], ["ayes", 2652], ["fervently", 2676], ["exact", 2697], ["exacted", 2697], ["keep", 2771], ["keepest", 2771], ["squirm", 2815], ["squirmed", 2815], ["uncomfortably", 2829], ["even", 2845], ["evens", 2845], ["guilt", 2854], ["guilts", 2854], ["fill", 2861], ["fills", 2861], ["filled", 2861], ["turn", 2882], ["turns", 2882], ["crispen", 2896], ["crispens", 2896], ["also", 2901], ["somehow", 2940], ["maneuver", 2964], ["maneuverest", 2964], ["maneuvered", 2964], ["trap", 2984], ["say", 2998], ["sayest", 2998], ["hard", 3009], ["protect", 3020], ["protectest", 3020], ["run", 3049], ["running", 3049], ["highland", 3072], ["highlands", 3072], ["unhappy", 3127], ["conversation", 3164], ["head", 3175], ["headed", 3175], ["release", 3190], ["declare", 3229], ["declared", 3229], ["shock", 3239], ["shocked", 3239], ["transfix", 3263], ["transfixed", 3263], ["change", 3277], ["gesture", 3292], ["work", 3300], ["wrought", 3300], ["feature", 3316], ["features", 3316], ["handsome", 3349], ["handsomes", 3349], ["harden", 3391], ["hardens", 3391], ["hardened", 3391], ["see", 3412], ["seen", 3412], ["scar", 3422], ["scars", 3422], ["know", 3436], ["knowest", 3436], ["knew", 3436], ["anything", 3452], ["soft", 3461], ["nay", 3467], ["warrior", 3486], ["tell", 3509], ["telling", 3509], ["many", 3518], ["kill", 3535], ["killed", 3535], ["probably", 3571], ["snap", 3576], ["snapping", 3576], ["neck", 3592], ["necked", 3592], ["certainly", 3621], ["think", 3640], ["thought", 3640], ["thinkest", 3640], ["reach", 3657], ["reaching", 3657], ["cover", 3669], ["throat", 3680], ["sure", 3753], ["tell", 3761], ["told", 3761], ["always", 3783], ["keep", 3789], ["keepest", 3789], ["keeps", 3789], ["glumly", 3810], ["remember", 3827], ["rememberest", 3827], ["remembered", 3827], ["say", 3842], ["sayest", 3842], ["saying", 3842], ["vow", 3882], ["father", 3905], ["fathered", 3905], ["fathering", 3905], ["bent", 3946], ["self", 3954], ["preservation", 3967], ["really", 3977], ["give", 3982], ["mean", 4009], ["meanest", 4009], ["meant", 4009], ["ca", 4034], ["cas", 4034], ["seem", 4059], ["seeming", 4059], ["seemed", 4059], ["consider", 4071], ["question", 4084], ["gaze", 4108], ["gazes", 4108], ["never", 4114], ["stray", 4123], ["strays", 4123], ["strayed", 4123], ["straying", 4123], ["scrutiny", 4182], ["safe", 4212], ["safes", 4212], ["safed", 4212], ["place", 4218], ["go", 4224], ["goest", 4224], ["course", 4241], ["allow", 4252], ["family", 4279], ["perhaps", 4287]]
she lifted a hand to his cheek , but cole caught her wrist . his eyes flashed back to savannah . he flinched , opened his mouth , then closed it again . savannah 's skin tingled as awareness flooded her . this was who he spent every sunday with ? the scars on abbie 's wrists , the needy way she looked at cole like a child separated from its mother , it struck her like a thump to the head - all the times he 'd looked at her like she was unstable , fear in his eyes that she 'd break down and lose it . did he have some strange calling to save needy girls ? she was n't like this girl , and she resented his careful watch even more now , because it meant memories of abbie were still right there at the surface . he turned to savannah , handing her the keys . `` can you ah , give us a minute ? '' savannah wished she had some place to go - anywhere but inside his house . she wanted to flee somewhere far away from here , but she accepted the keys and ventured up the stairs , too stunned to cry , too shocked to process what she 'd just learned . * cole had gotten rid of abbie and ventured inside to talk to savannah . he needed to come clean about everything-all of it-not spare any of the details . he found savannah hiding underneath the comforter in the guest room , whispering to a squirming mass under there with her . he 'd let her down , and she 'd turned to the dog for comfort . he sat quietly on the edge of the bed . her whispering stopped as soon as the mattress dipped with his weight . `` you do n't have to talk to me . he released a heavy sigh , knowing this conversation was long overdue . `` i first met abbie just after college . she was broken-a project for me-someone i could focus my energy on since i 'd been so powerless to prevent my parents ' deaths . '' cole scrubbed his hands over his face . it was harder than he thought it 'd be admitting all this out loud . `` abbie was a cutter , which i 'd found out later . she was abused as a child . she was a wreck when we first started dating . our relationship was full of self-doubt , jealousy , and at times intense passion . '' cole wished he could see savannah 's expression , get a sense of how she was taking it . but the damned comforter covered her from head to toe . `` we dated for two years , and eventually she got better . later i came to realize that i was n't in love with her - i 'd only been in love with the idea of saving someone . once abbie was well , the intensity behind our relationship all but disappeared . '' savannah pushed the covers down , her face coming into view . he expected her to be crying , but her eyes were dry , curiously gazing at him ; her face relaxed . `` i tried numerous times to break things off with her , but abbie would freak out . so i 'd stay . we hung on that way for another six months until i could n't endure the cycle anymore . i ended it for good . '' cuddles squirmed her way out from the blankets and licked savannah 's nose . she folded the puppy along her side and mumbled , `` keep talking . '' `` i broke up with her and thought i was done . of course , i had n't expected abbie to try and end her life . but that same day , she 'd slashed her wrists . her roommate found her and rushed her to the hospital , and called me on the way . when i saw how truly broken she was-pale and weak in that hospital bed , tubes running everywhere-i knew it was my fault . i 'd vowed to save her , and now she was worse off than she 'd ever been . it ate away at me , and i knew i could n't run again . not when she was so incredibly fragile . `` abbie stayed at the hospital for a few days , she 'd lost a lot of blood , and when she recovered physically from the suicide attempt , she was taken to a psychiatric facility . she stayed there for over a year before she moved back into her own apartment , just down the road from here . we never rekindled our romantic relationship , but all this time-close to five years now-i 've faithfully visited her every week , as a friend , and as her security blanket , i guess . '' tears began to fill savannah 's eyes as she sat stoically . please say something , '' he begged . savannah grabbed her car keys and left . chapter 32 `` what the fk did you do ? '' marissa 's voice shrilled from the phone as he sat at the bar . in cole 's drunken state , it took him a second to comprehend the anger in her voice .	[["lift", 10], ["lifted", 10], ["hand", 17], ["cheek", 30], ["cheeks", 30], ["cole", 41], ["coles", 41], ["catch", 48], ["catches", 48], ["catched", 48], ["caught", 48], ["wrist", 58], ["eye", 69], ["eyed", 69], ["eyes", 69], ["flash", 77], ["flashed", 77], ["back", 82], ["savannah", 94], ["flinch", 108], ["flinched", 108], ["open", 117], ["opened", 117], ["mouth", 127], ["mouthed", 127], ["close", 141], ["closed", 141], ["skin", 169], ["tingle", 177], ["tingles", 177], ["awareness", 190], ["flood", 198], ["flooded", 198], ["spend", 226], ["spends", 226], ["spendest", 226], ["spent", 226], ["every", 232], ["sunday", 239], ["sundays", 239], ["scar", 256], ["scars", 256], ["abbie", 265], ["wrist", 275], ["wrists", 275], ["needy", 287], ["way", 291], ["ways", 291], ["look", 302], ["looked", 302], ["like", 315], ["child", 323], ["childs", 323], ["separate", 333], ["separated", 333], ["mother", 349], ["mothered", 349], ["motherest", 349], ["strike", 361], ["struck", 361], ["thump", 378], ["thumps", 378], ["head", 390], ["time", 406], ["times", 406], ["unstable", 448], ["unstabled", 448], ["fear", 455], ["fearest", 455], ["break", 485], ["broke", 485], ["lose", 499], ["strange", 529], ["calling", 537], ["save", 545], ["girl", 557], ["girls", 557], ["girl", 586], ["resent", 605], ["resentest", 605], ["resented", 605], ["careful", 617], ["watch", 623], ["even", 628], ["evens", 628], ["mean", 656], ["meanest", 656], ["meant", 656], ["memory", 665], ["memories", 665], ["still", 685], ["right", 691], ["rightest", 691], ["surface", 712], ["turn", 724], ["turned", 724], ["hand", 746], ["key", 759], ["keyed", 759], ["keyest", 759], ["keys", 759], ["ah", 775], ["give", 782], ["minute", 794], ["wish", 815], ["wished", 815], ["place", 834], ["go", 840], ["goest", 840], ["anywhere", 851], ["inside", 862], ["house", 872], ["flee", 893], ["flees", 893], ["somewhere", 903], ["far", 907], ["away", 912], ["accept", 941], ["accepted", 941], ["venture", 963], ["ventured", 963], ["stair", 977], ["stairs", 977], ["cry", 998], ["process", 1023], ["learn", 1048], ["learnt", 1048], ["learns", 1048], ["learned", 1048], ["get", 1070], ["gotten", 1070], ["rid", 1074], ["talk", 1111], ["need", 1135], ["needest", 1135], ["needed", 1135], ["come", 1143], ["clean", 1149], ["cleans", 1149], ["everything", 1166], ["spare", 1186], ["detail", 1205], ["details", 1205], ["find", 1216], ["found", 1216], ["hide", 1232], ["hides", 1232], ["underneath", 1243], ["guest", 1270], ["guestest", 1270], ["room", 1275], ["roomed", 1275], ["whisper", 1288], ["whisperings", 1288], ["whispering", 1288], ["squirm", 1303], ["squirming", 1303], ["mass", 1308], ["massed", 1308], ["massest", 1308], ["massing", 1308], ["let", 1341], ["lets", 1341], ["dog", 1381], ["comfort", 1393], ["sat", 1402], ["sit", 1402], ["quietly", 1410], ["edge", 1422], ["edges", 1422], ["bed", 1433], ["stop", 1458], ["stopped", 1458], ["soon", 1466], ["mattress", 1482], ["mattresses", 1482], ["dip", 1489], ["dipped", 1489], ["weight", 1505], ["weighted", 1505], ["weightest", 1505], ["release", 1554], ["released", 1554], ["heavy", 1562], ["heavies", 1562], ["heavier", 1562], ["sigh", 1567], ["sighest", 1567], ["know", 1577], ["knowest", 1577], ["knowing", 1577], ["conversation", 1595], ["long", 1604], ["longs", 1604], ["overdue", 1612], ["first", 1625], ["firstest", 1625], ["meet", 1629], ["meeted", 1629], ["met", 1629], ["college", 1654], ["break", 1671], ["broke", 1671], ["broken", 1671], ["project", 1681], ["projectest", 1681], ["focus", 1710], ["energy", 1720], ["since", 1729], ["powerless", 1752], ["prevent", 1763], ["preventest", 1763], ["parent", 1774], ["parents", 1774], ["death", 1783], ["deaths", 1783], ["scrub", 1802], ["scrubbed", 1802], ["hand", 1812], ["hands", 1812], ["face", 1826], ["hard", 1842], ["think", 1858], ["thinkest", 1858], ["thought", 1858], ["admit", 1877], ["admitting", 1877], ["loud", 1895], ["cutter", 1919], ["later", 1948], ["abuse", 1965], ["abused", 1965], ["wreck", 1994], ["start", 2016], ["started", 2016], ["date", 2023], ["dating", 2023], ["relationship", 2042], ["full", 2051], ["self", 2059], ["doubt", 2065], ["jealousy", 2076], ["jealousies", 2076], ["intense", 2099], ["passion", 2107], ["see", 2137], ["expression", 2160], ["get", 2166], ["sense", 2174], ["take", 2196], ["taking", 2196], ["damn", 2216], ["damned", 2216], ["cover", 2234], ["covered", 2234], ["toe", 2255], ["toeing", 2255], ["date", 2269], ["dated", 2269], ["two", 2277], ["twos", 2277], ["year", 2283], ["years", 2283], ["eventually", 2300], ["get", 2308], ["got", 2308], ["well", 2315], ["wells", 2315], ["come", 2330], ["came", 2330], ["realize", 2341], ["love", 2364], ["idea", 2412], ["save", 2422], ["saving", 2422], ["well", 2452], ["wells", 2452], ["intensity", 2468], ["behind", 2475], ["disappear", 2512], ["disappeared", 2512], ["push", 2533], ["pushed", 2533], ["cover", 2544], ["covers", 2544], ["come", 2567], ["coming", 2567], ["view", 2577], ["viewest", 2577], ["expect", 2591], ["expected", 2591], ["cry", 2608], ["crying", 2608], ["dry", 2632], ["drier", 2632], ["drying", 2632], ["curiously", 2644], ["gaze", 2651], ["gazes", 2651], ["gazing", 2651], ["relax", 2677], ["relaxed", 2677], ["try", 2690], ["tryed", 2690], ["tried", 2690], ["numerous", 2699], ["thing", 2721], ["things", 2721], ["freak", 2758], ["freaking", 2758], ["stay", 2777], ["hung", 2787], ["hang", 2787], ["hangs", 2787], ["another", 2811], ["six", 2815], ["month", 2822], ["months", 2822], ["endure", 2847], ["cycle", 2857], ["anymore", 2865], ["end", 2875], ["ends", 2875], ["endest", 2875], ["ended", 2875], ["good", 2887], ["squirm", 2909], ["squirmed", 2909], ["blanket", 2939], ["blankets", 2939], ["lick", 2950], ["licked", 2950], ["nose", 2967], ["nosed", 2967], ["nosing", 2967], ["fold", 2980], ["folded", 2980], ["puppy", 2990], ["along", 2996], ["side", 3005], ["sidest", 3005], ["mumble", 3017], ["mumbles", 3017], ["mumbled", 3017], ["keep", 3027], ["keepest", 3027], ["talk", 3035], ["talking", 3035], ["break", 3051], ["broke", 3051], ["course", 3098], ["try", 3132], ["tryed", 3132], ["end", 3140], ["ends", 3140], ["endest", 3140], ["life", 3149], ["lifes", 3149], ["day", 3169], ["slash", 3186], ["slashed", 3186], ["roommate", 3212], ["rush", 3233], ["rushed", 3233], ["hospital", 3253], ["call", 3266], ["called", 3266], ["see", 3293], ["saw", 3293], ["truly", 3303], ["pale", 3323], ["weak", 3332], ["tube", 3361], ["tubes", 3361], ["run", 3369], ["running", 3369], ["everywhere", 3380], ["know", 3387], ["knowest", 3387], ["knew", 3387], ["fault", 3403], ["faulting", 3403], ["vow", 3416], ["vowed", 3416], ["bad", 3452], ["worse", 3452], ["ever", 3473], ["everest", 3473], ["eat", 3487], ["ate", 3487], ["run", 3527], ["incredibly", 3566], ["fragile", 3574], ["stay", 3592], ["stayed", 3592], ["day", 3623], ["days", 3623], ["lose", 3637], ["lost", 3637], ["lot", 3643], ["blood", 3652], ["bloods", 3652], ["blooded", 3652], ["recover", 3677], ["recovered", 3677], ["physically", 3688], ["suicide", 3705], ["attempt", 3713], ["take", 3729], ["taken", 3729], ["psychiatric", 3746], ["facility", 3755], ["year", 3790], ["move", 3807], ["moved", 3807], ["apartment", 3835], ["road", 3856], ["never", 3877], ["rekindle", 3887], ["rekindled", 3887], ["romantic", 3900], ["time", 3933], ["close", 3939], ["five", 3947], ["fived", 3947], ["faithfully", 3974], ["visit", 3982], ["visited", 3982], ["week", 3997], ["friend", 4011], ["security", 4033], ["blanket", 4041], ["guess", 4051], ["tear", 4062], ["teared", 4062], ["tears", 4062], ["begin", 4068], ["began", 4068], ["fill", 4076], ["fills", 4076], ["stoically", 4114], ["please", 4123], ["say", 4127], ["sayest", 4127], ["beg", 4152], ["grab", 4171], ["grabbed", 4171], ["car", 4179], ["left", 4193], ["leave", 4193], ["chapter", 4203], ["marissa", 4247], ["voice", 4256], ["shrill", 4265], ["shrilled", 4265], ["phone", 4280], ["bar", 4301], ["drunken", 4322], ["state", 4328], ["take", 4338], ["took", 4338], ["second", 4351], ["seconded", 4351], ["comprehend", 4365], ["anger", 4375]]
hassan was back in bed , his eyes closed . `` is there a way you could pray less loudly ? i mean , should n't god be able to hear you even if you whisper ? '' `` i 'm calling in sick , '' hassan said without opening his eyes . `` i think i have a sinus infection , and also i need a day off . this working business is all right , but i need to sit in my boxers and watch judge judy . do you realize that i have n't seen judge judy in , like , twelve days ? imagine if you were separated from the love of your life for twelve days . '' with his lips pursed , colin stared at hassan silently . hassan blinked open his eyes . `` you ca n't call in sick . your boss works here . she 'll know you 're not sick . '' `` she spends thursdays at the factory , dumbass . you need to pay better attention . it 's the perfect day to call in sick . i just need to charge the emotional batteries . '' `` you 've been charging the batteries all year ! you have n't done anything in twelve months ! '' hassan smirked . `` at least call your mom and tell her to send a deposit to loyola . the deposit deadline is in four weeks . i looked online for you . '' hassan did n't open his eyes . `` i 'm trying to think of a word . god , it 's right on the tip of my tongue . duh-doo-dii . dingleberries , motherfugger . dingle . berries . '' when colin got downstairs , he saw that hollis was up already-or maybe she 'd just stayed up all night-and dressed in a pink pantsuit . `` beautiful day in the country , '' she said . `` high 's only 83 today . but lord , i sure am glad thursday only comes around once a week . '' when colin sat down beside her at the dining room table , he asked , `` what do you do on thursdays ? '' `` oh , i just like to go in to the factory and check on things in the morning . and then around noon i drive to memphis and visit our warehouse . '' `` why is the warehouse in memphis instead of gutshot ? '' `` lord , you ask a lot of questions , '' hollis answered . y'all have interviewed most everyone who works at the factory now . so i 'm gon na start sending you out to the other folks in gutshot , factory retirees , and that sort of thing . i still just need you to ask the four questions , but you might want to stay a bit longer , just to look polite and all . '' after a bit of silence , he said , `` hassan is sick . he has a sinus infection . '' okay , you 'll go out with lindsey . it 's a bit of a drive today . you 're going to see the oldsters . '' `` the oldsters ? '' `` that 's what lindsey calls them . the folks at the nursing home in bradford-a lot of them live off pensions from gutshot textiles . lindsey used to visit those folks all the time before she started , '' hollis sighed , `` dating that , '' hollis sighed again , `` boy . '' hollis craned her neck around and shouted down the hall , `` lindsssseeeey ! get your lazy ass out of bed ! '' and even though the sound of hollis 's thick voice had to carry down the hallway and through two closed doors to reach lindsey , lindsey shouted back moments later , `` put a qua rter in the goddamned swear jar , hollis . hollis got up , put a quarter in the swear jar on the mantel , walked back to colin , mussed his jew-fro , and said , `` listen , i 'll be late . long drive back from memphis . i 'll have my cell on . y'all be safe . '' by the time lindsey got downstairs , wearing khaki shorts and a tight-fitting black gutshot ! t-shirt , hassan was on the couch , watching reruns of saturday night live . `` who are our victims today ? '' `` the oldsters . '' `` that 's cool , actually . i 'm a veteran of that joint . okay , off the couch , hass . '' `` sorry , linds . i called in sick , '' he said . i 've never called her `` linds , '' colin thought . hassan laughed at some joke on the tv . lindsey blew hair out of her face and then she grabbed colin by his upper arm and led him out to the hearse .	[["hassan", 6], ["back", 15], ["bed", 22], ["eye", 33], ["eyed", 33], ["eyes", 33], ["close", 40], ["closed", 40], ["way", 60], ["ways", 60], ["pray", 75], ["prays", 75], ["less", 80], ["loudly", 87], ["mean", 96], ["meanest", 96], ["god", 113], ["able", 121], ["abled", 121], ["hear", 129], ["hears", 129], ["even", 138], ["evens", 138], ["whisper", 153], ["call", 174], ["calling", 174], ["sick", 182], ["say", 199], ["sayest", 199], ["said", 199], ["without", 207], ["open", 215], ["think", 237], ["thinkest", 237], ["sinus", 252], ["infection", 262], ["also", 273], ["need", 280], ["needest", 280], ["day", 286], ["working", 305], ["business", 314], ["right", 327], ["rightest", 327], ["sat", 347], ["sit", 347], ["boxer", 360], ["boxers", 360], ["watch", 370], ["judge", 376], ["judy", 381], ["realize", 398], ["see", 419], ["seen", 419], ["like", 440], ["twelve", 449], ["twelves", 449], ["day", 454], ["days", 454], ["imagine", 464], ["separate", 486], ["separated", 486], ["love", 500], ["life", 513], ["lifes", 513], ["lip", 548], ["lipped", 548], ["lips", 548], ["purse", 555], ["pursed", 555], ["colin", 563], ["stare", 570], ["stared", 570], ["silently", 589], ["blink", 606], ["blinked", 606], ["open", 611], ["ca", 632], ["cas", 632], ["call", 641], ["boss", 661], ["work", 667], ["wrought", 667], ["works", 667], ["know", 687], ["knowest", 687], ["spend", 723], ["spends", 723], ["spendest", 723], ["thursday", 733], ["thursdays", 733], ["factory", 748], ["dumbass", 758], ["pay", 776], ["pays", 776], ["payest", 776], ["well", 783], ["wells", 783], ["attention", 793], ["perfect", 813], ["perfectest", 813], ["charge", 857], ["emotional", 871], ["battery", 881], ["batteries", 881], ["charge", 911], ["charging", 911], ["year", 934], ["anything", 963], ["month", 980], ["months", 980], ["least", 1014], ["leastest", 1014], ["mom", 1028], ["moms", 1028], ["tell", 1037], ["send", 1049], ["deposit", 1059], ["loyola", 1069], ["deadline", 1092], ["four", 1103], ["week", 1109], ["weeks", 1109], ["look", 1120], ["looked", 1120], ["online", 1127], ["try", 1186], ["tryed", 1186], ["trying", 1186], ["word", 1205], ["tip", 1236], ["tongue", 1249], ["tonguing", 1249], ["duh", 1255], ["doo", 1259], ["dingleberries", 1279], ["dingle", 1303], ["dingles", 1303], ["berry", 1313], ["berried", 1313], ["berries", 1313], ["get", 1333], ["got", 1333], ["downstairs", 1344], ["see", 1353], ["saw", 1353], ["already", 1380], ["maybe", 1389], ["stay", 1408], ["stayed", 1408], ["night", 1421], ["dress", 1433], ["dressest", 1433], ["dressed", 1433], ["pink", 1443], ["pantsuit", 1452], ["beautiful", 1467], ["beautifulest", 1467], ["country", 1486], ["high", 1510], ["today", 1527], ["lord", 1538], ["sure", 1547], ["glad", 1555], ["thursday", 1564], ["thursdays", 1564], ["come", 1575], ["comes", 1575], ["around", 1582], ["week", 1594], ["sat", 1614], ["sit", 1614], ["beside", 1626], ["room", 1649], ["roomed", 1649], ["table", 1655], ["tabled", 1655], ["tabling", 1655], ["ask", 1666], ["asked", 1666], ["oh", 1710], ["go", 1730], ["goest", 1730], ["check", 1758], ["thing", 1768], ["things", 1768], ["morning", 1783], ["noon", 1806], ["drive", 1814], ["memphis", 1825], ["visit", 1835], ["warehouse", 1849], ["warehousing", 1849], ["instead", 1897], ["gutshot", 1908], ["ask", 1931], ["lot", 1937], ["question", 1950], ["questions", 1950], ["answer", 1971], ["answeres", 1971], ["answerest", 1971], ["answered", 1971], ["interview", 1996], ["interviewed", 1996], ["everyone", 2010], ["gon", 2053], ["na", 2056], ["nas", 2056], ["start", 2062], ["send", 2070], ["sending", 2070], ["folk", 2097], ["folks", 2097], ["retiree", 2127], ["retirees", 2127], ["sort", 2143], ["thing", 2152], ["still", 2162], ["may", 2218], ["mays", 2218], ["mayest", 2218], ["might", 2218], ["stay", 2231], ["bit", 2237], ["bits", 2237], ["long", 2244], ["longs", 2244], ["look", 2259], ["polite", 2266], ["silence", 2302], ["okay", 2369], ["lindsey", 2399], ["go", 2446], ["goest", 2446], ["going", 2446], ["see", 2453], ["oldster", 2466], ["oldsters", 2466], ["call", 2522], ["calls", 2522], ["nursing", 2554], ["home", 2559], ["homing", 2559], ["bradford", 2571], ["live", 2590], ["pension", 2603], ["textile", 2625], ["textiles", 2625], ["use", 2640], ["used", 2640], ["time", 2674], ["start", 2693], ["started", 2693], ["sigh", 2712], ["sighest", 2712], ["sighed", 2712], ["date", 2724], ["dating", 2724], ["boy", 2763], ["crane", 2782], ["craned", 2782], ["neck", 2791], ["necked", 2791], ["shout", 2810], ["shouted", 2810], ["hall", 2824], ["get", 2849], ["lazy", 2859], ["ass", 2863], ["though", 2895], ["sound", 2905], ["thick", 2924], ["thickest", 2924], ["voice", 2930], ["carry", 2943], ["hallway", 2960], ["hallways", 2960], ["two", 2976], ["twos", 2976], ["door", 2989], ["doors", 2989], ["reach", 2998], ["moment", 3037], ["moments", 3037], ["later", 3043], ["put", 3052], ["qua", 3058], ["goddamned", 3080], ["swear", 3086], ["sweared", 3086], ["jar", 3090], ["jared", 3090], ["jarred", 3090], ["jarring", 3090], ["quarter", 3131], ["quartering", 3131], ["mantel", 3162], ["mantels", 3162], ["walk", 3171], ["walked", 3171], ["muss", 3194], ["mussing", 3194], ["jew", 3202], ["jews", 3202], ["fro", 3206], ["fros", 3206], ["listen", 3229], ["listens", 3229], ["late", 3245], ["lates", 3245], ["long", 3252], ["longs", 3252], ["cell", 3297], ["safe", 3316], ["safes", 3316], ["safed", 3316], ["wear", 3366], ["wearing", 3366], ["khaki", 3372], ["khakis", 3372], ["short", 3379], ["shorts", 3379], ["tight", 3391], ["fittings", 3399], ["black", 3405], ["shirt", 3423], ["couch", 3449], ["couchest", 3449], ["watch", 3460], ["watching", 3460], ["rerun", 3467], ["reruns", 3467], ["saturday", 3479], ["saturdays", 3479], ["victim", 3515], ["victims", 3515], ["cool", 3563], ["veteran", 3591], ["joint", 3605], ["jointed", 3605], ["jointing", 3605], ["sorry", 3649], ["lind", 3657], ["linds", 3657], ["call", 3668], ["called", 3668], ["never", 3703], ["think", 3742], ["thinkest", 3742], ["thought", 3742], ["laugh", 3759], ["laughed", 3759], ["joke", 3772], ["jokes", 3772], ["tv", 3782], ["blew", 3797], ["blow", 3797], ["blowest", 3797], ["hair", 3802], ["face", 3818], ["grab", 3839], ["grabbed", 3839], ["upper", 3858], ["arm", 3862], ["lead", 3870], ["leaded", 3870], ["led", 3870], ["hearsing", 3892]]
his wardrobe now consisted of a few pairs of jeans , boxer briefs , socks and t-shirts . other than the nightmares , he was an easy houseguest to have around . he was neat and tidy , and did more than his fair share of the chores . once he realized that i either skipped dinner altogether or ate a cup of instant noodles after arriving home , he also began cooking dinner for us . other nights he 'd call for takeout so at least we could sit down and eat together . in other ways though , i could tell he was n't entirely comfortable living here . every day he packed up his toiletries from the bathroom , his shaving cream , razor and toothbrush , putting them in the backpack in which he kept his belongings . i told him several times he could leave his things in the bathroom , since i was certainly no neat freak . a few extra things left out would n't have bothered me , not to mention i 'd come to enjoy the smell of his shaving cream and aftershave in the steam filled bathroom after his shower . i had even cleared out a spot in the drawer , but he seemed content with packing them up every day , like he did n't really live here , but was only staying temporarily . we never talked about him moving out and that was just fine with me . i had a feeling that without him and tom my apartment would feel empty and depressing . *** i pulled on my black shift dress , and slipped on a pair of heels . giving myself one more glance in the mirror to be sure my makeup and hair were in place , i headed out to the living room . logan was sitting on the couch with my laptop balanced across his lap . he looked up at the sound of my heels clicking against the wood floor . `` thanks , '' i mumbled , looking down . his face betrayed his confusion and another emotion i could n't quite identify ... jealousy ? `` liz set me up , '' i explained . `` will you zip up my dress ? '' his fingers against my bare back as he zipped up the dress should n't have excited me the way they did . maybe this date would be good for me . i needed to stop fixating on logan . especially since it was clear he was n't interested in an actual emotional connection with me . i grabbed my purse , and logan went back to the computer , not looking up at me again as i gathered my things and headed out . the date was n't as bad as i 'd expected . jason was nice , but something just felt wrong about dating someone who was still an undergrad . rob the cradle , much ? i knew liz never had a problem with dating younger men , and that i looked young for my age so i should n't either . but he was only twenty-two and more interested in keg parties than discussing world issues . i did my best to maintain the conversation , chatting casually with him throughout dinner , and the three glasses of wine i drank certainly helped to loosen me up . after dinner he walked me to my apartment , and when he kissed my hand in the street and asked if he could come up , i could only nod . i was damn curious about how logan might respond to me bringing a man home . if that was jealousy i 'd caught a hint of before , perhaps seeing another man interested in me would force him to face his feelings for me . it might not have been the best plan , but with three glasses of chardonnay down , my reasoning was shot . i lead jason up the stairs and unlocked the door , my heart pounding in my chest . i expected logan to be sitting at the dining room table painting like he did every night , but the apartment was silent and dark . my anticipation died down and was replaced with a sense of dread . i now had an eager man who i wanted nothing to do with in my apartment and logan was n't even here . that or he was in my room sleeping , but it was n't even eleven yet . he never went to bed this early . i flipped on a lamp , and asked jason to wait for me in the living room . i poured another glass of wine for each of us before i settled on the couch . we continued chatting for a little while , but when i saw him focusing in on my mouth as i spoke , i knew he intended to kiss me . i held my wine in front of me like a shield , hoping it would provide a buffer . but jason knew what he was doing . he took the glass from my hands and set it on the coffee table . when he leaned in toward me i was too stunned to do anything but close my eyes and let him press his lips to mine . the kiss was nice , but i felt nothing , no spark , no passion like i did with logan . i put my hands on his chest and pushed him back , breaking the kiss . logan 's groggy voice came from behind me . jason leapt to his feet at the sight of logan , shirtless , tattooed and looking angry .	[["wardrobe", 12], ["wardrobes", 12], ["wardrobed", 12], ["consist", 26], ["consistest", 26], ["consisted", 26], ["pair", 41], ["pairs", 41], ["jean", 50], ["jeans", 50], ["boxer", 58], ["sock", 73], ["socks", 73], ["socked", 73], ["shirt", 86], ["shirts", 86], ["nightmare", 114], ["nightmares", 114], ["easy", 131], ["houseguest", 142], ["around", 157], ["neat", 171], ["neats", 171], ["tidy", 180], ["tidying", 180], ["fair", 209], ["fairs", 209], ["fairest", 209], ["share", 215], ["chore", 229], ["chores", 229], ["realize", 248], ["realized", 248], ["either", 262], ["skip", 270], ["skips", 270], ["skipped", 270], ["dinner", 277], ["altogether", 288], ["eat", 295], ["ate", 295], ["cup", 301], ["instant", 312], ["noodle", 320], ["noodles", 320], ["arrive", 335], ["arriving", 335], ["home", 340], ["homing", 340], ["also", 350], ["begin", 356], ["began", 356], ["cook", 364], ["night", 393], ["nights", 393], ["call", 404], ["takeout", 416], ["least", 428], ["leastest", 428], ["sat", 441], ["sit", 441], ["eat", 454], ["together", 463], ["way", 479], ["ways", 479], ["though", 486], ["tell", 501], ["entirely", 521], ["comfortable", 533], ["live", 540], ["living", 540], ["every", 553], ["day", 557], ["pack", 567], ["packed", 567], ["toiletry", 585], ["toiletries", 585], ["bathroom", 603], ["shaving", 617], ["cream", 623], ["creamest", 623], ["razor", 631], ["razoring", 631], ["toothbrush", 646], ["put", 656], ["putting", 656], ["backpack", 677], ["backpacking", 677], ["keep", 694], ["keepest", 694], ["kept", 694], ["belonging", 709], ["belongings", 709], ["tell", 718], ["told", 718], ["several", 730], ["time", 736], ["times", 736], ["left", 751], ["leave", 751], ["thing", 762], ["things", 762], ["since", 786], ["certainly", 802], ["freak", 816], ["freaking", 816], ["extra", 830], ["extras", 830], ["left", 842], ["leave", 842], ["bother", 870], ["bothers", 870], ["bothering", 870], ["bothered", 870], ["mention", 890], ["come", 900], ["enjoy", 909], ["enjoyed", 909], ["smell", 919], ["smelt", 919], ["smellest", 919], ["aftershave", 955], ["steam", 968], ["steams", 968], ["steamed", 968], ["steamest", 968], ["fill", 975], ["fills", 975], ["filled", 975], ["shower", 1001], ["showered", 1001], ["showerest", 1001], ["even", 1014], ["evens", 1014], ["clear", 1022], ["clearest", 1022], ["cleared", 1022], ["spot", 1033], ["drawer", 1047], ["seem", 1063], ["seeming", 1063], ["seemed", 1063], ["content", 1071], ["contenting", 1071], ["pack", 1084], ["packing", 1084], ["like", 1109], ["really", 1127], ["live", 1132], ["stay", 1160], ["staying", 1160], ["temporarily", 1172], ["never", 1183], ["talk", 1190], ["talked", 1190], ["move", 1207], ["moving", 1207], ["fine", 1234], ["feeling", 1260], ["without", 1273], ["tom", 1285], ["apartment", 1298], ["feel", 1309], ["empty", 1315], ["pull", 1345], ["pulled", 1345], ["black", 1357], ["shift", 1363], ["dress", 1369], ["dressest", 1369], ["slip", 1383], ["slipped", 1383], ["pair", 1393], ["pairs", 1393], ["heel", 1402], ["heeled", 1402], ["heels", 1402], ["give", 1411], ["giving", 1411], ["glance", 1434], ["mirror", 1448], ["sure", 1459], ["makeup", 1469], ["hair", 1478], ["place", 1492], ["head", 1503], ["headed", 1503], ["room", 1526], ["roomed", 1526], ["logan", 1534], ["logans", 1534], ["sat", 1546], ["sit", 1546], ["sitting", 1546], ["couch", 1559], ["couchest", 1559], ["laptop", 1574], ["balance", 1583], ["balanced", 1583], ["across", 1590], ["lap", 1598], ["laps", 1598], ["lapping", 1598], ["look", 1610], ["looked", 1610], ["sound", 1626], ["click", 1647], ["wood", 1664], ["floor", 1670], ["thank", 1682], ["thanks", 1682], ["thankest", 1682], ["mumble", 1697], ["mumbles", 1697], ["mumbled", 1697], ["look", 1707], ["looking", 1707], ["face", 1723], ["betray", 1732], ["betrayed", 1732], ["betraying", 1732], ["confusion", 1746], ["another", 1758], ["emotion", 1766], ["quite", 1784], ["identify", 1793], ["jealousy", 1806], ["jealousies", 1806], ["liz", 1815], ["set", 1819], ["explain", 1842], ["explained", 1842], ["zip", 1860], ["zips", 1860], ["zipped", 1860], ["finger", 1889], ["fingers", 1889], ["bare", 1905], ["back", 1910], ["zip", 1923], ["zips", 1923], ["zipped", 1923], ["excite", 1960], ["excited", 1960], ["excites", 1960], ["way", 1971], ["ways", 1971], ["maybe", 1988], ["date", 1998], ["good", 2012], ["need", 2030], ["needest", 2030], ["needed", 2030], ["stop", 2038], ["fixate", 2047], ["fixates", 2047], ["fixating", 2047], ["especially", 2069], ["clear", 2088], ["clearest", 2088], ["interested", 2110], ["actual", 2123], ["emotional", 2133], ["connection", 2144], ["grab", 2164], ["grabbed", 2164], ["purse", 2173], ["go", 2190], ["goest", 2190], ["went", 2190], ["computer", 2211], ["gather", 2254], ["gatherest", 2254], ["gathered", 2254], ["bad", 2305], ["expect", 2322], ["expected", 2322], ["jason", 2330], ["nice", 2339], ["feel", 2365], ["felt", 2365], ["wrong", 2371], ["date", 2384], ["dating", 2384], ["still", 2406], ["undergrad", 2419], ["undergrads", 2419], ["rob", 2425], ["robs", 2425], ["robbing", 2425], ["cradle", 2436], ["cradled", 2436], ["much", 2443], ["know", 2452], ["knowest", 2452], ["knew", 2452], ["problem", 2476], ["young", 2496], ["youngest", 2496], ["man", 2500], ["mans", 2500], ["manned", 2500], ["men", 2500], ["young", 2526], ["youngest", 2526], ["age", 2537], ["aged", 2537], ["twenty", 2585], ["two", 2589], ["twos", 2589], ["keg", 2616], ["kegs", 2616], ["party", 2624], ["parties", 2624], ["discuss", 2640], ["discusses", 2640], ["discussest", 2640], ["discussing", 2640], ["world", 2646], ["issue", 2653], ["issues", 2653], ["good", 2669], ["best", 2669], ["maintain", 2681], ["maintains", 2681], ["maintainest", 2681], ["conversation", 2698], ["chat", 2709], ["chating", 2709], ["chatting", 2709], ["casually", 2718], ["throughout", 2738], ["three", 2761], ["glass", 2769], ["glasses", 2769], ["wine", 2777], ["drank", 2785], ["drink", 2785], ["drinking", 2785], ["help", 2802], ["helpest", 2802], ["helped", 2802], ["loosen", 2812], ["loosenest", 2812], ["walk", 2843], ["walked", 2843], ["kiss", 2883], ["kisses", 2883], ["kissest", 2883], ["kissed", 2883], ["hand", 2891], ["street", 2905], ["ask", 2915], ["asked", 2915], ["nod", 2954], ["damn", 2967], ["damned", 2967], ["curious", 2975], ["may", 2997], ["mays", 2997], ["mayest", 2997], ["might", 2997], ["respond", 3005], ["respondest", 3005], ["bring", 3020], ["bringing", 3020], ["man", 3026], ["mans", 3026], ["manned", 3026], ["catch", 3066], ["catches", 3066], ["catched", 3066], ["caught", 3066], ["hint", 3073], ["hinting", 3073], ["perhaps", 3093], ["see", 3100], ["seeing", 3100], ["force", 3141], ["feeling", 3166], ["feelings", 3166], ["plan", 3212], ["chardonnay", 3251], ["chardonnays", 3251], ["reasoning", 3271], ["shoot", 3280], ["shooted", 3280], ["shot", 3280], ["lead", 3289], ["leaded", 3289], ["stair", 3309], ["stairs", 3309], ["unlock", 3322], ["unlocking", 3322], ["unlockest", 3322], ["door", 3331], ["heart", 3342], ["pound", 3351], ["pounding", 3351], ["chest", 3363], ["table", 3421], ["tabled", 3421], ["tabling", 3421], ["painting", 3430], ["night", 3454], ["silent", 3485], ["dark", 3494], ["anticipation", 3512], ["die", 3517], ["died", 3517], ["replace", 3539], ["replaced", 3539], ["sense", 3552], ["dread", 3561], ["eager", 3582], ["nothing", 3607], ["eleven", 3728], ["yet", 3732], ["bed", 3755], ["early", 3766], ["flip", 3778], ["flipping", 3778], ["flipped", 3778], ["lamp", 3788], ["wait", 3814], ["waitest", 3814], ["pour", 3851], ["poured", 3851], ["glass", 3865], ["settle", 3905], ["settled", 3905], ["continue", 3933], ["continued", 3933], ["little", 3955], ["see", 3978], ["saw", 3978], ["focus", 3991], ["focusing", 3991], ["mouth", 4006], ["mouthed", 4006], ["speak", 4017], ["spoken", 4017], ["spoke", 4017], ["intend", 4038], ["intendest", 4038], ["intended", 4038], ["kiss", 4046], ["kisses", 4046], ["kissest", 4046], ["hold", 4058], ["held", 4058], ["front", 4075], ["shield", 4095], ["shields", 4095], ["hope", 4104], ["hoping", 4104], ["provide", 4121], ["buffer", 4130], ["buffering", 4130], ["take", 4175], ["took", 4175], ["hand", 4199], ["hands", 4199], ["coffee", 4224], ["lean", 4247], ["leans", 4247], ["leaned", 4247], ["toward", 4257], ["anything", 4293], ["close", 4303], ["eye", 4311], ["eyed", 4311], ["eyes", 4311], ["let", 4319], ["lets", 4319], ["press", 4329], ["lip", 4338], ["lipped", 4338], ["lips", 4338], ["spark", 4398], ["sparking", 4398], ["passion", 4411], ["put", 4441], ["push", 4474], ["pushed", 4474], ["break", 4494], ["broke", 4494], ["breaking", 4494], ["groggy", 4521], ["voice", 4527], ["come", 4532], ["came", 4532], ["behind", 4544], ["leapt", 4561], ["foot", 4573], ["feet", 4573], ["sight", 4586], ["sighted", 4586], ["shirtless", 4607], ["tattoo", 4618], ["tattoos", 4618], ["tattooing", 4618], ["tattooed", 4618], ["angry", 4636]]
the room was spotlessly clean , the tiled floor gleaming , the counters and white cabinets immaculate . `` i 've never been in a man 's house this clean , '' chloe whispered . `` yeah , it 's practically sterile . '' jake walked out of the kitchen , with chloe behind him . the small dining area was as pristine and neat as the kitchen . they passed through it , skirting the square maple table with four chairs aligned precisely opposite each other , and entered the living room . the furnishings were neither expensive nor new , and the sofa , with its matching upholstered chair , had wear marks on the arms , but all was tidy and clean . `` i do n't see evidence of anything other than that george dodd is amazingly neat . '' she moved down the hall and looked into the bathroom , the door open wide . `` and even though that 's unusual for a man living alone , it does n't prove he 's our crazy stalker . '' jake 's voice came from farther down the hall . but i 've got a feeling about dodd . '' he opened and closed doors , glancing briefly into rooms , before joining chloe again . it 's clear no one 's been here for some time , and if dodd is our man , then he 's somewhere in seattle . '' they retraced their steps through the living room , dining room and into the kitchen . chloe stopped him just before he opened the door leading to the backyard . a phone was mounted on the wall next to the refrigerator . the top corner of the fridge door held a narrow pad of paper with a magnetized back . a pencil stub was attached to the pad by a neatly knotted length of fishing line . `` should n't we check the message pad ? i 've read hundreds of mystery novels , and the amateur detectives always check the blank pad for pencil impressions . '' jake half grinned , waiting patiently while chloe went to stare at the pad . she squinted at it , frowning . `` i think he might actually have written something on the pad , then torn off the paper . there seem to be words ... . '' she took the dangling pencil stub and carefully rubbed the lead over the paper . jake bent closer to read the shaded letters . `` sunshine real ? no , sunshine realty . and the rest is a phone number-with seattle 's area code . '' chloe dropped the pencil and ripped off the sheet . `` the phone number for a realtor in seattle ? maybe he used them to find an apartment or a house to rent ? '' `` i 'm betting you 're right . '' he took the paper , folded it and tucked it into his shirt pocket . they left the house , locking the door behind them . jake called gray as soon as they were in the car and on their way out of town . he turned onto the highway and headed north . `` granstrom did n't pan out , but he gave us some valuable information . kenny dodd 's father still lives in mason city . granstrom says dodd blames me for kenny 's death and he left town about eight weeks ago , right after receiving the military incident report . '' chloe listened to jake 's half of the conversation . he lowered the phone to hold it and the steering wheel in one hand while he fished the slip of paper out of his pocket with the other . `` he left the phone number of a seattle realty office on the pad in his kitchen . he read off the number , then glanced at chloe and the corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile . he tore off the note , but chloe saw the impression his pencil made on the pad beneath . '' he looked at his dashboard clock . `` we should be back in town by eight or so-too late to do anything tonight . right , see you tomorrow . '' gray apparently had another question . `` no , she 's staying with me until we figure this out . he rang off , put down the phone and slipped the folded paper back into his pocket . `` you told gray i 'm staying with you ? '' he met her gaze briefly , then looked again at the empty highway stretching ahead of them . `` gut instinct tells me there 's more to this than we know . and i always listen to my gut . '' chloe was silent for a moment , considering . `` i have to admit i 'm more than a little leery about mr. dodd myself . so i 'll accept your offer to be my bodyguard until we find him . '' his mouth curved in a swift smile , filled with more than a little satisfaction . `` but if you 're offering to guard me just to get me up to your apartment alone ... '' she paused . jake sent her a questioning glance . `` you did n't need to go to these lengths , '' she said softly . `` all you had to do was ask me up to see your etchings . i would 've said yes . ''	[["room", 8], ["roomed", 8], ["spotlessly", 23], ["clean", 29], ["cleans", 29], ["floor", 47], ["gleaming", 56], ["counter", 71], ["counters", 71], ["white", 81], ["cabinet", 90], ["cabinets", 90], ["immaculate", 101], ["never", 118], ["man", 132], ["mans", 132], ["manned", 132], ["house", 141], ["chloe", 163], ["whisper", 173], ["whispered", 173], ["yeah", 183], ["practically", 203], ["sterile", 211], ["jake", 221], ["jakes", 221], ["jaked", 221], ["walk", 228], ["walked", 228], ["kitchen", 247], ["kitchens", 247], ["behind", 267], ["small", 283], ["area", 295], ["pristine", 311], ["neat", 320], ["neats", 320], ["pass", 349], ["passed", 349], ["skirt", 371], ["skirting", 371], ["square", 382], ["maple", 388], ["table", 394], ["tabled", 394], ["tabling", 394], ["four", 404], ["chair", 411], ["chairing", 411], ["chairs", 411], ["align", 419], ["aligned", 419], ["precisely", 429], ["opposite", 438], ["enter", 463], ["entered", 463], ["furnishing", 497], ["furnishings", 497], ["neither", 510], ["expensive", 520], ["new", 528], ["sofa", 543], ["matching", 563], ["upholstered", 575], ["chair", 581], ["chairing", 581], ["wear", 592], ["mark", 598], ["marks", 598], ["arm", 610], ["arms", 610], ["tidy", 629], ["tidying", 629], ["see", 657], ["evidence", 666], ["anything", 678], ["george", 701], ["amazingly", 719], ["move", 739], ["moved", 739], ["hall", 753], ["look", 764], ["looked", 764], ["bathroom", 782], ["door", 793], ["open", 798], ["wide", 803], ["even", 817], ["evens", 817], ["though", 824], ["unusual", 840], ["live", 857], ["living", 857], ["alone", 863], ["prof", 883], ["prove", 883], ["crazy", 899], ["stalker", 907], ["voice", 926], ["come", 931], ["came", 931], ["far", 944], ["farther", 944], ["get", 974], ["got", 974], ["feeling", 984], ["open", 1010], ["opened", 1010], ["close", 1021], ["closed", 1021], ["door", 1027], ["doors", 1027], ["glance", 1038], ["glancing", 1038], ["briefly", 1046], ["room", 1057], ["roomed", 1057], ["rooms", 1057], ["join", 1074], ["joinest", 1074], ["joining", 1074], ["clear", 1100], ["clearest", 1100], ["time", 1134], ["somewhere", 1182], ["seattle", 1193], ["retrace", 1212], ["retraced", 1212], ["step", 1224], ["steps", 1224], ["stop", 1299], ["stopped", 1299], ["lead", 1342], ["leaded", 1342], ["leading", 1342], ["backyard", 1358], ["phone", 1368], ["mount", 1380], ["mounted", 1380], ["mountest", 1380], ["wall", 1392], ["next", 1397], ["refrigerator", 1417], ["refrigerators", 1417], ["top", 1427], ["corner", 1434], ["fridge", 1448], ["hold", 1458], ["held", 1458], ["narrow", 1467], ["pad", 1471], ["padding", 1471], ["paper", 1480], ["magnetize", 1498], ["magnetizes", 1498], ["magnetized", 1498], ["back", 1503], ["pencil", 1514], ["stub", 1519], ["attach", 1532], ["attached", 1532], ["neatly", 1555], ["knot", 1563], ["knotted", 1563], ["length", 1570], ["fishing", 1581], ["line", 1586], ["check", 1611], ["message", 1623], ["read", 1640], ["reads", 1640], ["hundred", 1649], ["hundreds", 1649], ["mystery", 1660], ["mysteries", 1660], ["novel", 1667], ["novels", 1667], ["amateur", 1685], ["amateurs", 1685], ["detective", 1696], ["detectives", 1696], ["always", 1703], ["blank", 1719], ["blanks", 1719], ["impression", 1746], ["impressions", 1746], ["half", 1761], ["grin", 1769], ["grinned", 1769], ["wait", 1779], ["waitest", 1779], ["waiting", 1779], ["patiently", 1789], ["go", 1806], ["goest", 1806], ["went", 1806], ["stare", 1815], ["stared", 1815], ["squint", 1841], ["squinting", 1841], ["squintest", 1841], ["squinted", 1841], ["frown", 1858], ["frowns", 1858], ["think", 1871], ["thinkest", 1871], ["may", 1880], ["mays", 1880], ["mayest", 1880], ["might", 1880], ["write", 1902], ["writing", 1902], ["written", 1902], ["tear", 1935], ["teared", 1935], ["torn", 1935], ["seem", 1962], ["seeming", 1962], ["word", 1974], ["words", 1974], ["take", 1992], ["took", 1992], ["dangle", 2005], ["dangling", 2005], ["carefully", 2031], ["rub", 2038], ["rubbed", 2038], ["lead", 2047], ["leaded", 2047], ["bent", 2074], ["close", 2081], ["closer", 2081], ["letter", 2108], ["lettering", 2108], ["letters", 2108], ["sunshine", 2122], ["reis", 2127], ["real", 2127], ["realty", 2150], ["rest", 2165], ["number", 2183], ["numbering", 2183], ["code", 2209], ["drop", 2228], ["dropped", 2228], ["rip", 2250], ["ripped", 2250], ["sheet", 2264], ["realtor", 2300], ["maybe", 2319], ["use", 2327], ["used", 2327], ["find", 2340], ["apartment", 2353], ["rent", 2372], ["right", 2407], ["rightest", 2407], ["fold", 2439], ["folded", 2439], ["tuck", 2453], ["tucked", 2453], ["tucking", 2453], ["shirt", 2471], ["pocket", 2478], ["pocketing", 2478], ["left", 2490], ["leave", 2490], ["lock", 2510], ["locking", 2510], ["call", 2545], ["called", 2545], ["gray", 2550], ["grays", 2550], ["soon", 2558], ["car", 2582], ["way", 2599], ["ways", 2599], ["town", 2611], ["turn", 2623], ["turned", 2623], ["onto", 2628], ["ontos", 2628], ["highway", 2640], ["head", 2651], ["headed", 2651], ["north", 2657], ["pan", 2684], ["pans", 2684], ["give", 2702], ["gave", 2702], ["valuable", 2719], ["information", 2731], ["kenny", 2739], ["father", 2754], ["fathered", 2754], ["fathering", 2754], ["still", 2760], ["live", 2766], ["mason", 2775], ["city", 2780], ["say", 2797], ["sayest", 2797], ["says", 2797], ["blame", 2809], ["blamest", 2809], ["blames", 2809], ["death", 2831], ["eight", 2860], ["week", 2866], ["weeks", 2866], ["ago", 2870], ["receive", 2894], ["receiving", 2894], ["military", 2907], ["incident", 2916], ["report", 2923], ["listen", 2943], ["listens", 2943], ["listened", 2943], ["conversation", 2979], ["lower", 2992], ["lowers", 2992], ["lowerest", 2992], ["lowered", 2992], ["hold", 3010], ["steering", 3030], ["wheel", 3036], ["wheeled", 3036], ["hand", 3048], ["fish", 3064], ["fishes", 3064], ["fishest", 3064], ["fished", 3064], ["slip", 3073], ["office", 3172], ["glance", 3238], ["glanced", 3238], ["mouth", 3275], ["mouthed", 3275], ["lift", 3282], ["lifted", 3282], ["smile", 3298], ["tear", 3308], ["teared", 3308], ["tore", 3308], ["note", 3321], ["see", 3337], ["saw", 3337], ["impression", 3352], ["beneath", 3387], ["dashboard", 3419], ["clock", 3425], ["late", 3480], ["lates", 3480], ["tonight", 3503], ["tomorrow", 3530], ["tomorrows", 3530], ["apparently", 3551], ["another", 3563], ["question", 3572], ["stay", 3597], ["staying", 3597], ["figure", 3621], ["rung", 3640], ["rang", 3640], ["ring", 3640], ["put", 3650], ["slip", 3677], ["slipped", 3677], ["tell", 3729], ["told", 3729], ["meet", 3768], ["meeted", 3768], ["met", 3768], ["gaze", 3777], ["gazes", 3777], ["empty", 3818], ["stretch", 3837], ["stretching", 3837], ["ahead", 3843], ["gut", 3860], ["instinct", 3869], ["tell", 3875], ["tells", 3875], ["know", 3913], ["knowest", 3913], ["listen", 3935], ["listens", 3935], ["silent", 3967], ["moment", 3980], ["consider", 3994], ["considering", 3994], ["admit", 4015], ["little", 4039], ["leery", 4045], ["mr", 4054], ["accept", 4085], ["offer", 4096], ["bodyguard", 4115], ["curve", 4155], ["curved", 4155], ["swift", 4166], ["fill", 4181], ["fills", 4181], ["filled", 4181], ["satisfaction", 4218], ["offer", 4247], ["guard", 4256], ["get", 4271], ["pause", 4319], ["paused", 4319], ["send", 4331], ["sent", 4331], ["questioning", 4349], ["glance", 4356], ["need", 4378], ["needest", 4378], ["go", 4384], ["goest", 4384], ["length", 4401], ["lengths", 4401], ["say", 4415], ["sayest", 4415], ["said", 4415], ["softly", 4422], ["ask", 4453], ["etching", 4480], ["etchings", 4480], ["yes", 4503]]
there 's no way to fix this other than to receive a huge donation , '' emily replied , sighing as she laid her head down on the desk with her arms underneath it for support , tears of anger and frustration finally escaping from her eyes . `` and i do n't have the funds to replace it myself . '' `` i wish i had it to give to you , but i do n't have that kind of money lying around either , '' randi replied wistfully . `` he wo n't give you the money , so i think you should save yourself the humiliation of asking . grady sinclair is n't exactly known for his kindness and generosity . maybe one of the other sinclairs- '' `` he 's the only one in residence . the others are all out of town , '' emily replied glumly , aware that the rest of the family , who all had homes on the amesport peninsula , were unavailable . the last thing she really wanted to do was to approach a man who was known for being rude , antisocial , and condescending . but he was the only sinclair available . so , beast or not , she was asking . honestly , she probably deserved to have the guy slam the door in her face . this was entirely her fault , even though the police had already told her that this exact same scenario had occurred in several businesses in maine in the last several months , but they had n't yet been able to nail the perpetrator . still , had she not been so completely charmed by paul 's flattering attention , the future of the ycoa would n't be in jeopardy . men who look like him do n't exactly fall all over me . i should have been suspicious ! paul used his looks and charm to bowl me over , and it worked because i 'm not used to that kind of male attention . she was tall , her figure too round , and her long blonde hair was usually scraped back into a ponytail . the old pair of glasses perched on her nose did n't help improve on her blandness , and she wore very little makeup because most of it irritated her skin . she had a tendency to just blend into the woodwork , and men usually made her a buddy rather than a girlfriend . `` do n't cry over paul . so what if he was attractive ? he 's a thief and he 's definitely not worth it . i 'd castrate the bastard if i could find him , '' randi said vehemently . `` you obviously were n't his first victim , but i 'd certainly like to make sure you were his last . '' lifting her head , emily swiped at the tears on her face . `` i 'm not upset about him . we only dated for a few weeks , and i obviously did n't even know him . but the kids- '' `` the kids will survive , and we 'll think of something . '' the youth center was the heart of the town of amesport . not only was the sprawling old brick building a refuge for kids of all ages who needed some support and attention , but it was the place where everything important happened , from wedding receptions to weekly events for the senior citizens in the community . everything good that took place in town happened here , and emily would be damned if she 'd let the community down by letting the center go under . the people in this town , from the very young to the elderly , needed this gathering place and the activities and services it offered . she had n't returned to amesport only to end up destroying the very center that she herself had used when she was younger . amesport had always been home to emily . the only time she had been away was to attend college in california . she 'd stayed there for a while after graduation , trying to climb the corporate ladder , before finally realizing that she really did n't give a damn whether or not she reached the top . as the finance manager of a large charitable corporation , emily had thought she 'd feel good about her job , enjoy working in an environment where helping people came first . unfortunately , helping people had n't really been the first thing on the management 's agenda , and she had n't felt good about working for the corporation at all . it had ended up being no different from working for a profitable corporation , the dynamics exactly the same . sadly , the management had been more interested in politics and kissing up to the right people to get their next promotion than helping anyone . when her mom had told her the previous director of the center had retired , emily had come back home to stay . it had been comforting that very little had changed during her absence , except for the fact that the sinclair siblings had all decided to finally claim the peninsula outside of town , land that had been in their family for generations . grady had been the first to build his home there , with all of the other members of the family putting up their own houses after his was completed . as far as she knew , grady sinclair was the only full-time resident on the peninsula , but all five of them had houses there , homes that usually sat empty .	[["way", 15], ["ways", 15], ["fix", 22], ["fixes", 22], ["receive", 49], ["huge", 56], ["donation", 65], ["emily", 76], ["reply", 84], ["replied", 84], ["sigh", 94], ["sighest", 94], ["sighing", 94], ["lay", 106], ["lays", 106], ["layed", 106], ["layest", 106], ["laid", 106], ["head", 115], ["desk", 132], ["arm", 146], ["arms", 146], ["underneath", 157], ["support", 172], ["tear", 180], ["teared", 180], ["tears", 180], ["anger", 189], ["frustration", 205], ["finally", 213], ["escape", 222], ["escapes", 222], ["escaping", 222], ["eye", 236], ["eyed", 236], ["eyes", 236], ["fund", 269], ["funds", 269], ["replace", 280], ["wish", 305], ["give", 322], ["kind", 359], ["money", 368], ["moneys", 368], ["lay", 374], ["lie", 374], ["lain", 374], ["lying", 374], ["around", 381], ["either", 388], ["wistfully", 417], ["wo", 428], ["think", 464], ["thinkest", 464], ["save", 480], ["humiliation", 505], ["ask", 515], ["asking", 515], ["sinclair", 532], ["exactly", 547], ["know", 553], ["knowest", 553], ["known", 553], ["kindness", 570], ["kindnesses", 570], ["generosity", 585], ["maybe", 593], ["residence", 659], ["town", 692], ["glumly", 718], ["aware", 726], ["rest", 740], ["family", 754], ["home", 774], ["homing", 774], ["homes", 774], ["peninsula", 800], ["peninsulas", 800], ["unavailable", 819], ["last", 830], ["thing", 836], ["really", 847], ["approach", 876], ["approaches", 876], ["man", 882], ["mans", 882], ["manned", 882], ["rude", 911], ["antisocial", 924], ["available", 985], ["beast", 998], ["honestly", 1033], ["probably", 1048], ["deserve", 1057], ["deserved", 1057], ["guy", 1073], ["slam", 1078], ["door", 1087], ["face", 1099], ["entirely", 1119], ["fault", 1129], ["faulting", 1129], ["even", 1136], ["evens", 1136], ["though", 1143], ["police", 1154], ["already", 1166], ["tell", 1171], ["told", 1171], ["exact", 1191], ["scenario", 1205], ["occur", 1218], ["occurest", 1218], ["occurred", 1218], ["several", 1229], ["business", 1240], ["businesses", 1240], ["maine", 1249], ["month", 1276], ["months", 1276], ["yet", 1299], ["able", 1309], ["abled", 1309], ["nail", 1317], ["perpetrator", 1333], ["still", 1341], ["completely", 1374], ["charm", 1382], ["charmest", 1382], ["charmed", 1382], ["paul", 1390], ["pauls", 1390], ["flattering", 1404], ["attention", 1414], ["future", 1427], ["jeopardy", 1464], ["man", 1470], ["mans", 1470], ["manned", 1470], ["men", 1470], ["look", 1479], ["like", 1484], ["fall", 1508], ["falls", 1508], ["suspicious", 1552], ["use", 1564], ["used", 1564], ["look", 1574], ["looks", 1574], ["charm", 1584], ["charmest", 1584], ["bowl", 1592], ["bowling", 1592], ["work", 1616], ["wrought", 1616], ["worked", 1616], ["male", 1659], ["males", 1659], ["tall", 1684], ["figure", 1697], ["round", 1707], ["long", 1722], ["longs", 1722], ["blonde", 1729], ["hair", 1734], ["usually", 1746], ["scrape", 1754], ["scraped", 1754], ["back", 1759], ["ponytail", 1775], ["old", 1785], ["pair", 1790], ["pairs", 1790], ["glass", 1801], ["glasses", 1801], ["perch", 1809], ["perching", 1809], ["perched", 1809], ["nose", 1821], ["nosed", 1821], ["nosing", 1821], ["help", 1834], ["helpest", 1834], ["improve", 1842], ["blandness", 1859], ["wear", 1874], ["wore", 1874], ["little", 1886], ["makeup", 1893], ["irritate", 1922], ["irritated", 1922], ["skin", 1931], ["tendency", 1952], ["blend", 1966], ["blending", 1966], ["blendest", 1966], ["woodwork", 1984], ["woodworks", 1984], ["buddy", 2019], ["rather", 2026], ["girlfriend", 2044], ["cry", 2060], ["attractive", 2101], ["thief", 2117], ["thiefs", 2117], ["definitely", 2138], ["worth", 2148], ["castrate", 2167], ["castrates", 2167], ["bastard", 2179], ["find", 2195], ["say", 2215], ["sayest", 2215], ["said", 2215], ["vehemently", 2226], ["obviously", 2245], ["first", 2264], ["firstest", 2264], ["victim", 2271], ["certainly", 2292], ["sure", 2310], ["lift", 2341], ["swipe", 2365], ["upset", 2410], ["date", 2436], ["dated", 2436], ["week", 2452], ["weeks", 2452], ["know", 2488], ["knowest", 2488], ["kid", 2523], ["kids", 2523], ["survive", 2536], ["youth", 2583], ["center", 2590], ["heart", 2604], ["sprawl", 2657], ["sprawls", 2657], ["sprawling", 2657], ["brick", 2667], ["build", 2676], ["builds", 2676], ["refuge", 2685], ["age", 2706], ["aged", 2706], ["ages", 2706], ["need", 2717], ["needest", 2717], ["needed", 2717], ["place", 2767], ["everything", 2784], ["important", 2794], ["happen", 2803], ["happened", 2803], ["wedding", 2818], ["reception", 2829], ["receptions", 2829], ["weekly", 2839], ["event", 2846], ["events", 2846], ["senior", 2861], ["citizen", 2870], ["citizens", 2870], ["community", 2887], ["good", 2905], ["take", 2915], ["took", 2915], ["damn", 2971], ["damned", 2971], ["let", 2985], ["lets", 2985], ["let", 3015], ["lets", 3015], ["letting", 3015], ["go", 3029], ["goest", 3029], ["people", 3048], ["young", 3083], ["youngest", 3083], ["elderly", 3098], ["gather", 3122], ["gathering", 3122], ["activity", 3147], ["activities", 3147], ["service", 3160], ["servicing", 3160], ["services", 3160], ["offer", 3171], ["offered", 3171], ["return", 3194], ["returnest", 3194], ["returned", 3194], ["end", 3218], ["ends", 3218], ["endest", 3218], ["destroy", 3232], ["destroys", 3232], ["destroying", 3232], ["young", 3295], ["youngest", 3295], ["always", 3317], ["home", 3327], ["homing", 3327], ["time", 3352], ["away", 3370], ["attend", 3384], ["college", 3392], ["california", 3406], ["stay", 3422], ["stayed", 3422], ["graduation", 3457], ["try", 3466], ["tryed", 3466], ["trying", 3466], ["climb", 3475], ["corporate", 3489], ["ladder", 3496], ["laddered", 3496], ["realize", 3523], ["realizing", 3523], ["damn", 3559], ["damned", 3559], ["whether", 3567], ["reach", 3586], ["reached", 3586], ["top", 3594], ["finance", 3611], ["manager", 3619], ["large", 3630], ["charitable", 3641], ["corporation", 3653], ["think", 3673], ["thinkest", 3673], ["thought", 3673], ["feel", 3685], ["job", 3704], ["jobbing", 3704], ["enjoy", 3712], ["enjoyed", 3712], ["work", 3720], ["wrought", 3720], ["working", 3720], ["environment", 3738], ["help", 3752], ["helpest", 3752], ["helping", 3752], ["come", 3764], ["came", 3764], ["unfortunately", 3786], ["management", 3857], ["agenda", 3867], ["feel", 3890], ["felt", 3890], ["end", 3951], ["ends", 3951], ["endest", 3951], ["ended", 3951], ["different", 3973], ["profitable", 4003], ["dynamic", 4030], ["dynamics", 4030], ["sadly", 4055], ["interested", 4097], ["politic", 4109], ["politics", 4109], ["kiss", 4121], ["kisses", 4121], ["kissest", 4121], ["kissing", 4121], ["right", 4137], ["rightest", 4137], ["get", 4151], ["next", 4162], ["promotion", 4172], ["anyone", 4192], ["mom", 4207], ["moms", 4207], ["previous", 4233], ["director", 4242], ["retire", 4268], ["retired", 4268], ["come", 4285], ["stay", 4303], ["comfort", 4328], ["comforting", 4328], ["change", 4357], ["changed", 4357], ["absence", 4376], ["except", 4385], ["fact", 4398], ["siblings", 4425], ["decide", 4441], ["decided", 4441], ["claim", 4458], ["outside", 4480], ["land", 4495], ["generation", 4541], ["generations", 4541], ["build", 4577], ["builds", 4577], ["member", 4624], ["members", 4624], ["put", 4646], ["putting", 4646], ["house", 4666], ["houses", 4666], ["complete", 4690], ["completed", 4690], ["far", 4699], ["know", 4711], ["knowest", 4711], ["knew", 4711], ["full", 4746], ["resident", 4760], ["five", 4792], ["fived", 4792], ["sat", 4842], ["sit", 4842], ["empty", 4848]]
what was more irritating was that he knew what i was thinking . `` so ye see , '' he said , watching me . `` i kent byrnes was sure to die , and ye couldna help . yet if ye knew his trouble , ye 'd surely go to him . and then he would die , and folk would maybe not say how strange it was , that both men had died under your hand , so to speak-but- '' `` but they 'd be thinking it , '' i finished for him . the twitch grew into a crooked smile . `` folk notice you , sassenach . '' for good or for ill , they did , and the noticing had come close to killing me more than once . he rose , and taking hold of a branch for balance , stepped out on the gravel and pulled the plaid up over his shoulder . `` i told mrs. byrnes i would fetch away her husband 's things from the mill , '' he said . `` ye needna come , if ye dinna wish . '' the mill loomed against the star-spattered sky . it could n't have looked more sinister if it had tried . whither thou goest , i will go . i thought i knew now what he was doing . he had wanted to see it all , before making up his mind ; see it with the knowledge that it might be his . walking through the gardens and orchards , rowing past the acres of thick pines , visiting the mill-he was surveying the domain he was offered , weighing and evaluating , deciding what complications must be dealt with , and whether he could or would accept the challenge . after all , i thought sourly , the devil had insisted on showing jesus everything he was passing up , taking him up to the top of the temple to gaze on the cities of the world . the only difficulty was that if jamie decided to fling himself off , there was n't a legion of angels standing by to stop him dashing his foot-and everything else-against a slab of scottish granite . `` wait , '' i said , clambering out of the boat . the lumber was still stacked in the millyard ; no one had moved any of it since the last time i had been here . the dark took away all sense of perspective ; the stacks of fresh timber were pale rectangles that seemed to float above an invisible ground , first distant , then suddenly looming close enough to brush my skirts . the air smelt of pinesap and sawdust . i could n't see the ground under my own feet , for that matter , obscured as it was both by darkness and by my billowing ivory skirt . jamie held my arm to keep me from stumbling . he never stumbled , of course . perhaps living all his life without even the thought of light outside after sunset had given him some sort of radar , i thought ; like a bat . there was a fire burning , somewhere among the slave huts . it was very late ; most would be sleeping . in the indies , there would have been the nightlong sound of drums and keening ; the slaves would have made lamentations for a fellow 's death , a festival of mourning to last the week . here , there was nothing . no sound save the pine trees ' soughing , no flicker of movement save the faint light at the forest 's edge . `` they are afraid , '' jamie said softly , pausing to listen to the silence , as i did . `` little wonder , '' i said , half under my breath . he made a small huffing sound that might have been amusement . `` so am i , '' he muttered , `` but not of ghosts . '' he took my arm and pushed open the small man-door at the side of the mill before i could ask what he was afraid of . the silence inside had a body to it . at first i thought it like the eerie quiet of dead battlefields , but then i realized the difference . this silence was alive . and whatever lived in the silence here , it was n't lying quiet . i thought i could still smell the blood , thick on the air . then i breathed deeply and thought again , cold horror rippling up my spine . i gripped jamie 's arm , but he had smelled it himself ; his arm had gone hard under my hand , muscles tensed in wariness . without a word , he detached himself from my grip , and vanished . for a moment , i thought he truly had vanished , and nearly panicked , groping for him , my hand closing on the empty air where he 'd stood . then i realized that he had merely flung the dark plaid over his head , instantly hiding the paleness of face and linen shirt . i heard his step , quick and light on the dirt floor , and then that was gone too . the air was hot and still , and thick with blood . a rank , sweet smell , with a metal taste on the back of the tongue .	[["know", 41], ["knowest", 41], ["knew", 41], ["think", 61], ["thinkest", 61], ["thinking", 61], ["ye", 72], ["yed", 72], ["see", 76], ["say", 89], ["sayest", 89], ["said", 89], ["watch", 100], ["watching", 100], ["sure", 131], ["die", 138], ["couldna", 155], ["help", 160], ["helpest", 160], ["yet", 166], ["trouble", 189], ["troubling", 189], ["surely", 204], ["go", 207], ["goest", 207], ["folk", 249], ["maybe", 261], ["say", 269], ["sayest", 269], ["strange", 281], ["man", 304], ["mans", 304], ["manned", 304], ["men", 304], ["die", 313], ["died", 313], ["hand", 329], ["speak", 343], ["spoken", 343], ["finish", 397], ["finished", 397], ["twitch", 418], ["twitching", 418], ["twitchest", 418], ["grow", 423], ["growest", 423], ["grew", 423], ["smile", 444], ["notice", 461], ["sassenach", 477], ["sassenachs", 477], ["good", 491], ["ill", 502], ["ills", 502], ["illest", 502], ["come", 541], ["close", 547], ["kill", 558], ["killing", 558], ["rise", 586], ["risen", 586], ["rose", 586], ["take", 599], ["taking", 599], ["hold", 604], ["branch", 616], ["branchest", 616], ["balance", 628], ["step", 638], ["stepped", 638], ["gravel", 656], ["pull", 667], ["pulled", 667], ["plaid", 677], ["shoulder", 698], ["shouldered", 698], ["tell", 710], ["told", 710], ["mrs", 714], ["fetch", 736], ["away", 741], ["husband", 753], ["husbanding", 753], ["thing", 763], ["things", 763], ["mill", 777], ["milling", 777], ["needna", 805], ["dinna", 824], ["wish", 829], ["loom", 850], ["loomed", 850], ["star", 867], ["starred", 867], ["sky", 881], ["look", 908], ["looked", 908], ["sinister", 922], ["try", 938], ["tryed", 938], ["tried", 938], ["whither", 948], ["thou", 953], ["think", 983], ["thought", 983], ["thinkest", 983], ["mind", 1070], ["minding", 1070], ["knowledge", 1098], ["may", 1112], ["mays", 1112], ["mayest", 1112], ["might", 1112], ["walk", 1129], ["walking", 1129], ["garden", 1149], ["gardens", 1149], ["gardened", 1149], ["orchard", 1162], ["orchards", 1162], ["row", 1171], ["rowest", 1171], ["rowing", 1171], ["past", 1176], ["acre", 1186], ["acres", 1186], ["thick", 1195], ["thickest", 1195], ["pine", 1201], ["pining", 1201], ["pines", 1201], ["visit", 1212], ["visiting", 1212], ["survey", 1238], ["surveyest", 1238], ["domain", 1249], ["offer", 1264], ["offered", 1264], ["weigh", 1275], ["weighest", 1275], ["weighing", 1275], ["evaluate", 1290], ["evaluating", 1290], ["decide", 1301], ["deciding", 1301], ["complication", 1320], ["complications", 1320], ["must", 1325], ["musts", 1325], ["deal", 1334], ["dealt", 1334], ["whether", 1353], ["accept", 1378], ["challenge", 1392], ["sourly", 1423], ["devil", 1435], ["devils", 1435], ["insist", 1448], ["insistest", 1448], ["insisted", 1448], ["show", 1459], ["showing", 1459], ["jesus", 1465], ["everything", 1476], ["pass", 1491], ["passing", 1491], ["top", 1521], ["temple", 1535], ["gaze", 1543], ["gazes", 1543], ["city", 1557], ["cities", 1557], ["world", 1570], ["difficulty", 1592], ["jamie", 1610], ["decide", 1618], ["decided", 1618], ["fling", 1627], ["flung", 1627], ["legion", 1664], ["angel", 1674], ["angels", 1674], ["stood", 1683], ["stand", 1683], ["standest", 1683], ["standing", 1683], ["stop", 1694], ["dash", 1706], ["dashing", 1706], ["foot", 1715], ["else", 1735], ["slab", 1750], ["scottish", 1762], ["granite", 1770], ["wait", 1780], ["waitest", 1780], ["clamber", 1805], ["clambering", 1805], ["boat", 1821], ["boated", 1821], ["lumber", 1834], ["lumbering", 1834], ["still", 1844], ["stack", 1852], ["stacks", 1852], ["stacked", 1852], ["move", 1887], ["moved", 1887], ["since", 1903], ["last", 1912], ["time", 1917], ["dark", 1944], ["take", 1949], ["took", 1949], ["sense", 1964], ["perspective", 1979], ["stack", 1992], ["stacks", 1992], ["fresh", 2001], ["freshest", 2001], ["timber", 2008], ["pale", 2018], ["rectangle", 2029], ["rectangles", 2029], ["seem", 2041], ["seeming", 2041], ["seemed", 2041], ["float", 2050], ["invisible", 2069], ["ground", 2076], ["first", 2084], ["firstest", 2084], ["distant", 2092], ["suddenly", 2108], ["loom", 2116], ["loomed", 2116], ["looming", 2116], ["enough", 2129], ["brush", 2138], ["brushest", 2138], ["skirt", 2148], ["skirts", 2148], ["air", 2158], ["airs", 2158], ["airing", 2158], ["smelts", 2164], ["smelted", 2164], ["pinesap", 2175], ["sawdust", 2187], ["foot", 2234], ["feet", 2234], ["matter", 2252], ["mattering", 2252], ["obscure", 2263], ["obscures", 2263], ["obscured", 2263], ["darkness", 2290], ["billow", 2310], ["billowing", 2310], ["ivory", 2316], ["ivories", 2316], ["skirt", 2322], ["hold", 2335], ["held", 2335], ["arm", 2342], ["keep", 2350], ["keepest", 2350], ["stumble", 2368], ["stumbling", 2368], ["never", 2379], ["stumble", 2388], ["stumbled", 2388], ["course", 2400], ["perhaps", 2410], ["live", 2417], ["living", 2417], ["life", 2430], ["lifes", 2430], ["without", 2438], ["even", 2443], ["evens", 2443], ["lit", 2464], ["light", 2464], ["outside", 2472], ["sunset", 2485], ["sunsets", 2485], ["give", 2495], ["given", 2495], ["sort", 2509], ["radar", 2518], ["like", 2537], ["bat", 2543], ["fire", 2562], ["burning", 2570], ["somewhere", 2582], ["among", 2588], ["slave", 2598], ["hut", 2603], ["huts", 2603], ["late", 2622], ["lates", 2622], ["slept", 2647], ["sleep", 2647], ["sleeps", 2647], ["sleepest", 2647], ["sleeping", 2647], ["indie", 2663], ["indies", 2663], ["nightlong", 2701], ["sound", 2707], ["drum", 2716], ["drummed", 2716], ["drums", 2716], ["keen", 2728], ["keens", 2728], ["keening", 2728], ["slave", 2741], ["slaves", 2741], ["lamentation", 2770], ["lamentations", 2770], ["fellow", 2783], ["death", 2792], ["festival", 2805], ["mourn", 2817], ["mourned", 2817], ["mournest", 2817], ["mourning", 2817], ["week", 2834], ["nothing", 2861], ["save", 2877], ["pine", 2886], ["pining", 2886], ["tree", 2892], ["treed", 2892], ["treeing", 2892], ["trees", 2892], ["flicker", 2916], ["flickered", 2916], ["flickering", 2916], ["movement", 2928], ["faint", 2943], ["forest", 2963], ["edge", 2971], ["edges", 2971], ["afraid", 2992], ["softly", 3015], ["pause", 3025], ["pausing", 3025], ["listen", 3035], ["listens", 3035], ["silence", 3050], ["little", 3073], ["wonder", 3080], ["wonderest", 3080], ["half", 3099], ["breath", 3115], ["breathest", 3115], ["small", 3133], ["huffings", 3141], ["amusement", 3178], ["mutter", 3208], ["mutterest", 3208], ["muttering", 3208], ["muttered", 3208], ["ghost", 3231], ["ghosts", 3231], ["push", 3262], ["pushed", 3262], ["open", 3267], ["man", 3281], ["mans", 3281], ["manned", 3281], ["door", 3286], ["side", 3298], ["sidest", 3298], ["ask", 3329], ["inside", 3372], ["body", 3383], ["bodied", 3383], ["eerie", 3428], ["quiet", 3434], ["dead", 3442], ["battlefield", 3455], ["battlefields", 3455], ["realize", 3477], ["realized", 3477], ["difference", 3492], ["alive", 3517], ["whatever", 3532], ["live", 3538], ["lived", 3538], ["lay", 3577], ["lie", 3577], ["lain", 3577], ["lying", 3577], ["smell", 3615], ["smelt", 3615], ["smellest", 3615], ["blood", 3625], ["bloods", 3625], ["blooded", 3625], ["breathes", 3662], ["breathed", 3662], ["deeply", 3669], ["cold", 3694], ["horror", 3701], ["ripple", 3710], ["ripples", 3710], ["rippling", 3710], ["spine", 3722], ["grip", 3734], ["smell", 3768], ["smelt", 3768], ["smellest", 3768], ["smelled", 3768], ["go", 3798], ["goest", 3798], ["gone", 3798], ["hard", 3803], ["muscle", 3827], ["muscles", 3827], ["tense", 3834], ["tensed", 3834], ["wariness", 3846], ["word", 3863], ["detach", 3877], ["detachest", 3877], ["detached", 3877], ["grip", 3898], ["vanish", 3913], ["vanishest", 3913], ["vanished", 3913], ["moment", 3928], ["truly", 3949], ["nearly", 3975], ["panic", 3984], ["panicked", 3984], ["grope", 3994], ["groping", 3994], ["close", 4020], ["empty", 4033], ["stood", 4055], ["stand", 4055], ["standest", 4055], ["merely", 4092], ["fling", 4098], ["flung", 4098], ["head", 4127], ["instantly", 4139], ["hide", 4146], ["hides", 4146], ["paleness", 4159], ["face", 4167], ["linen", 4177], ["shirt", 4183], ["hear", 4193], ["hears", 4193], ["heard", 4193], ["step", 4202], ["quick", 4210], ["dirt", 4232], ["floor", 4238], ["hot", 4285], ["rank", 4327], ["sweet", 4335], ["metal", 4356], ["taste", 4362], ["back", 4374], ["tongue", 4388], ["tonguing", 4388]]
`` i 'm thinking i 'd better put it in mama 's surgery , '' she replied , keeping an absentminded grip on jem , who was struggling with single-minded energy to get at the pretty thing . `` nobody touches anything in there . '' that was true enough ; the people who were not afraid of claire fraser personally were generally terrified of the contents of her surgery , these featuring fearsomely painful-looking implements , mysterious murky brews , and vile-smelling medicines . in addition , the surgery had cupboards too high for even a determined climber like jem to reach . `` good idea , '' roger said , anxious to get the jar out of jem 's vicinity . `` i 'll take it up now , shall i ? '' before brianna could answer , a knock came at the door , followed immediately by jamie fraser . jem instantly ceased trying to get at the jar and instead flung himself on his grandfather with shrieks of joy . `` how is it , then , a bhailach ? '' jamie inquired amiably , neatly turning jem upside down and holding him by the ankles . `` a word , roger mac ? '' ye 'll sit , maybe ? '' he 'd told jamie earlier what he knew-lamentably little-regarding the role of the cherokee in the upcoming revolution . had he come to inquire further ? reluctantly setting down the jar , roger pulled out a stool and pushed it in his father-in-law 's direction . jamie accepted it with a nod , dexterously transferring jemmy to a position over one shoulder and sitting down . jemmy giggled madly , squirming until his grandfather slapped him lightly on the seat of his breeches , whereupon he subsided , hanging contentedly upside-down like a sloth , his bright hair spilling down the back of jamie 's shirt . `` it 's this way , a charaid , '' jamie said . `` i must be going in the morning to the cherokee villages , and there is a thing i 'd ask ye to do in my place . '' d 'ye want me to see to the barley harvest , then ? '' the early grain was still ripening . everyone had his fingers crossed that the weather would keep fair for another few weeks , but the prospects were good . `` no , brianna can do that-if ye will , lass ? '' he smiled at his daughter , who raised thick ruddy eyebrows , the twins of his . `` what are you planning to do with ian , roger , and arch bug , though ? '' arch bug was jamie 's factor , and the logical person to be overseeing the harvest in jamie 's absence . `` well , i shall take young ian with me . the cherokee ken him well , and he 's comfortable wi ' their speech . i 'll take the beardsley lads , too , so they can fetch back the berries and bits o ' things your mother wants for lizzie , straightaway . '' `` i go , too ? '' jemmy inquired hopefully . `` not this time , a bhailach . in the autumn , maybe . '' he patted jemmy on the bottom , then returned his attention to roger . `` that being so , '' he said , `` i need ye to go to cross creek , if ye will , and collect the new tenants . '' roger felt a small surge of excitement-and alarm-at the prospect , but merely cleared his throat and nodded . will they- '' `` ye 'll take arch bug along , and tom christie . '' a moment of incredulous silence greeted this statement . `` tom christie ? '' bree said , exchanging a glance of bafflement with roger . the schoolmaster was a notably dour sort , and no one 's idea of a congenial traveling companion . her father 's mouth twisted wryly . there 's the one small thing macdonald neglected to tell me , when he asked if i 'd take them . they 're protestants , the lot . '' `` ah , '' said roger . jamie met his eye and nodded , relieved to be so immediately understood . brianna patted her hair , frowning , then pulled off the ribbon and began to comb her fingers slowly through it , undoing the tangles as a preliminary to brushing it . roger and jamie exchanged a brief but eloquent glance . jamie shrugged , and pulled jem down into his lap . roger rubbed his chin , trying to think how to explain two centuries of scottish religious intolerance in any way that would make sense to an american of the twentieth century . `` ahh ... ye recall the civil-rights thing in the states , integration in the south , all that ? '' so , which side are the negroes ? '' jamie looked entirely baffled . `` where do negroes come into the matter ? '' `` not quite that simple , '' roger assured her . `` just an indication of the depth of feeling involved .	[["think", 16], ["thinkest", 16], ["thinking", 16], ["well", 28], ["wells", 28], ["put", 32], ["mama", 43], ["mamas", 43], ["surgery", 54], ["surgeries", 54], ["reply", 71], ["replied", 71], ["keep", 81], ["keepest", 81], ["keeping", 81], ["absentminded", 97], ["grip", 102], ["jem", 109], ["struggle", 130], ["struggling", 130], ["single", 142], ["minded", 149], ["energy", 156], ["get", 163], ["pretty", 177], ["prettiest", 177], ["thing", 183], ["nobody", 195], ["touch", 203], ["touching", 203], ["touches", 203], ["anything", 212], ["true", 240], ["enough", 247], ["people", 260], ["afraid", 280], ["claire", 290], ["fraser", 297], ["personally", 308], ["generally", 323], ["terrify", 333], ["terrified", 333], ["content", 349], ["contenting", 349], ["contents", 349], ["feature", 382], ["featuring", 382], ["fearsomely", 393], ["painful", 401], ["look", 409], ["looking", 409], ["implement", 420], ["implements", 420], ["mysterious", 433], ["murky", 439], ["brew", 445], ["brews", 445], ["vile", 456], ["smell", 465], ["smelt", 465], ["smellest", 465], ["smelling", 465], ["medicine", 475], ["medicines", 475], ["addition", 489], ["cupboard", 517], ["cupboards", 517], ["high", 526], ["even", 535], ["evens", 535], ["determine", 548], ["determined", 548], ["climber", 556], ["like", 561], ["reach", 574], ["good", 584], ["idea", 589], ["roger", 600], ["rogers", 600], ["say", 605], ["sayest", 605], ["said", 605], ["anxious", 615], ["anxiousest", 615], ["jar", 630], ["jared", 630], ["jarred", 630], ["jarring", 630], ["vicinity", 653], ["take", 669], ["shall", 687], ["brianna", 709], ["answer", 722], ["answeres", 722], ["answerest", 722], ["knock", 732], ["knocks", 732], ["knockest", 732], ["come", 737], ["came", 737], ["door", 749], ["follow", 760], ["followed", 760], ["immediately", 772], ["jamie", 781], ["instantly", 804], ["cease", 811], ["ceased", 811], ["try", 818], ["tryed", 818], ["trying", 818], ["instead", 848], ["fling", 854], ["flung", 854], ["grandfather", 881], ["shriek", 894], ["shrieks", 894], ["joy", 901], ["joys", 901], ["joyed", 901], ["inquire", 956], ["inquired", 956], ["amiably", 964], ["neatly", 973], ["turn", 981], ["turning", 981], ["upside", 992], ["hold", 1009], ["holding", 1009], ["ankle", 1027], ["ankles", 1027], ["word", 1039], ["mac", 1051], ["macs", 1051], ["ye", 1059], ["yed", 1059], ["sat", 1067], ["sit", 1067], ["maybe", 1075], ["tell", 1091], ["told", 1091], ["early", 1105], ["know", 1118], ["knowest", 1118], ["knew", 1118], ["lamentably", 1129], ["little", 1136], ["regard", 1146], ["regarding", 1146], ["role", 1155], ["cherokee", 1171], ["revolution", 1198], ["come", 1212], ["inquire", 1223], ["reluctantly", 1245], ["set", 1253], ["setting", 1253], ["pull", 1281], ["pulled", 1281], ["stool", 1293], ["stools", 1293], ["push", 1304], ["pushed", 1304], ["father", 1321], ["fathered", 1321], ["fathering", 1321], ["law", 1328], ["direction", 1341], ["accept", 1358], ["accepted", 1358], ["nod", 1372], ["dexterously", 1386], ["transfer", 1399], ["transfering", 1399], ["transferring", 1399], ["jemmy", 1405], ["position", 1419], ["shoulder", 1437], ["shouldered", 1437], ["sat", 1449], ["sit", 1449], ["sitting", 1449], ["giggle", 1470], ["giggled", 1470], ["madly", 1476], ["squirm", 1488], ["squirming", 1488], ["slap", 1518], ["slaps", 1518], ["slapped", 1518], ["lightly", 1530], ["seat", 1542], ["breech", 1558], ["breeches", 1558], ["whereupon", 1570], ["subside", 1582], ["subsided", 1582], ["subsiding", 1582], ["hung", 1592], ["hang", 1592], ["hangs", 1592], ["hanging", 1592], ["contentedly", 1604], ["sloth", 1629], ["bright", 1642], ["brights", 1642], ["hair", 1647], ["spilt", 1656], ["spill", 1656], ["spilling", 1656], ["back", 1670], ["shirt", 1688], ["way", 1708], ["ways", 1708], ["must", 1748], ["musts", 1748], ["go", 1757], ["goest", 1757], ["going", 1757], ["morning", 1772], ["ask", 1829], ["place", 1850], ["see", 1876], ["barley", 1890], ["barleys", 1890], ["harvest", 1898], ["harvestest", 1898], ["early", 1920], ["grain", 1926], ["still", 1936], ["everyone", 1956], ["finger", 1972], ["fingers", 1972], ["cross", 1980], ["crossing", 1980], ["crossed", 1980], ["weather", 1997], ["keep", 2008], ["keepest", 2008], ["fair", 2013], ["fairs", 2013], ["fairest", 2013], ["another", 2025], ["week", 2035], ["weeks", 2035], ["prospect", 2055], ["prospects", 2055], ["lass", 2113], ["smile", 2128], ["smiled", 2128], ["daughter", 2144], ["raise", 2157], ["raised", 2157], ["thick", 2163], ["thickest", 2163], ["ruddy", 2169], ["eyebrow", 2178], ["eyebrows", 2178], ["twin", 2190], ["twins", 2190], ["plan", 2224], ["ian", 2239], ["arch", 2258], ["bug", 2262], ["bugged", 2262], ["though", 2271], ["factor", 2305], ["factored", 2305], ["logical", 2323], ["person", 2330], ["oversaw", 2347], ["oversee", 2347], ["overseen", 2347], ["overseeing", 2347], ["absence", 2379], ["well", 2389], ["wells", 2389], ["young", 2410], ["youngest", 2410], ["ken", 2441], ["kent", 2441], ["comfortable", 2474], ["wi", 2477], ["speech", 2492], ["lad", 2524], ["lads", 2524], ["fetch", 2550], ["berry", 2567], ["berried", 2567], ["berries", 2567], ["bit", 2576], ["bits", 2576], ["thing", 2587], ["things", 2587], ["mother", 2599], ["mothered", 2599], ["motherest", 2599], ["lizzie", 2616], ["straightaway", 2631], ["go", 2644], ["goest", 2644], ["hopefully", 2680], ["time", 2699], ["autumn", 2728], ["autumns", 2728], ["pat", 2751], ["patted", 2751], ["bottom", 2771], ["bottoming", 2771], ["return", 2787], ["returnest", 2787], ["returned", 2787], ["attention", 2801], ["need", 2854], ["needest", 2854], ["cross", 2872], ["crossing", 2872], ["creek", 2878], ["creeks", 2878], ["collect", 2905], ["new", 2913], ["tenant", 2921], ["tenants", 2921], ["feel", 2937], ["felt", 2937], ["small", 2945], ["surge", 2951], ["excitement", 2965], ["alarm", 2975], ["prospect", 2991], ["merely", 3004], ["clear", 3012], ["clearest", 3012], ["cleared", 3012], ["throat", 3023], ["nod", 3034], ["nodded", 3034], ["along", 3080], ["tom", 3090], ["christie", 3099], ["moment", 3113], ["incredulous", 3128], ["silence", 3136], ["greet", 3144], ["greeting", 3144], ["greeted", 3144], ["statement", 3159], ["bree", 3187], ["brees", 3187], ["exchange", 3205], ["exchanging", 3205], ["glance", 3214], ["bafflement", 3228], ["schoolmaster", 3258], ["notably", 3272], ["dour", 3277], ["sort", 3282], ["congenial", 3318], ["travel", 3328], ["traveling", 3328], ["companion", 3338], ["mouth", 3360], ["mouthed", 3360], ["twist", 3368], ["twisted", 3368], ["twisting", 3368], ["wryly", 3374], ["macdonald", 3415], ["neglect", 3425], ["neglecting", 3425], ["neglected", 3425], ["tell", 3433], ["ask", 3452], ["asked", 3452], ["protestant", 3493], ["protestants", 3493], ["lot", 3503], ["ah", 3514], ["meet", 3542], ["meeted", 3542], ["met", 3542], ["eye", 3550], ["eyed", 3550], ["relieve", 3572], ["relieved", 3572], ["understand", 3604], ["understanded", 3604], ["understood", 3604], ["frown", 3641], ["frowns", 3641], ["ribbon", 3670], ["begin", 3680], ["began", 3680], ["comb", 3688], ["combed", 3688], ["slowly", 3707], ["undo", 3728], ["undone", 3728], ["undoed", 3728], ["undoing", 3728], ["tangle", 3740], ["tangling", 3740], ["tangles", 3740], ["preliminary", 3757], ["brush", 3769], ["brushest", 3769], ["brushing", 3769], ["exchange", 3800], ["exchanged", 3800], ["brief", 3808], ["briefing", 3808], ["eloquent", 3821], ["shrug", 3845], ["shrugging", 3845], ["shrugged", 3845], ["lap", 3880], ["laps", 3880], ["lapping", 3880], ["rub", 3895], ["rubbed", 3895], ["chin", 3904], ["think", 3922], ["thinkest", 3922], ["explain", 3937], ["two", 3941], ["twos", 3941], ["century", 3951], ["centuries", 3951], ["scottish", 3963], ["religious", 3973], ["intolerance", 3985], ["sense", 4018], ["american", 4033], ["americans", 4033], ["twentieth", 4050], ["century", 4058], ["ahh", 4067], ["ahhs", 4067], ["recall", 4081], ["recallest", 4081], ["civil", 4091], ["civils", 4091], ["right", 4098], ["rightest", 4098], ["rights", 4098], ["state", 4118], ["states", 4118], ["integration", 4132], ["south", 4145], ["side", 4177], ["sidest", 4177], ["negro", 4193], ["negros", 4193], ["negroes", 4193], ["look", 4211], ["looked", 4211], ["entirely", 4220], ["baffle", 4228], ["baffles", 4228], ["baffling", 4228], ["baffled", 4228], ["matter", 4271], ["mattering", 4271], ["quite", 4289], ["simple", 4301], ["simplest", 4301], ["assure", 4320], ["assured", 4320], ["indication", 4348], ["depth", 4361], ["feeling", 4372]]
he would catch this stalker in a matter of days if not hours . he was n't a cocky man , he was just incredibly confident . he 'd been in the military for almost twenty years and those years had taught him well . there were few people in his life he would drop everything for . mark happened to be one of those select men . if it had n't been for mark and his family , his life would have turned out significantly different . they had believed in him and helped him get out of the horrible circumstances he 'd been in , to make a success out of his life . chad shook off the distracting thoughts and stepped through the bunk house 's doors . he spotted the foreman right away , along with a couple of other ranch hands sitting down at a table . he walked up to the men with his usual confidence and introduced himself . `` hi i 'm chad , mark hired me and said to come on down here to get set up , '' chad said , while sticking out his hand . the men eyed him warily , as if sizing up a new cow . the foreman finally stood and chad was impressed with the man 's acting skills . a normal observer would never know they knew each other . `` good to meet you chad , i 'm bob , the foreman here , '' he said and clasped his hand . `` good to meet you as well . '' `` why do n't you get settled in today and get the lay of the land . you can begin work tomorrow , '' bob said , giving chad the time he needed in order to scope out the area and do some snooping through the hands things . once the other men headed back out to do their work , chad and bob sat down and discussed things . bob promised to keep the men away from the bunkhouse between three and five . chad headed out to survey the grounds . he did n't see anything suspicious right off but he did n't have much time and would have to do a more thorough search the next day . he really wanted to go through the hands rooms . he was far more likely to find suspicious items there . at three on the dot he slipped back into the bunkhouse , without anyone seeing him and began searching through the men 's belongings . `` it 's time to get out of here for a while . the guys can take care of the kids . i 'm in desperate need of a pedicure , '' jessica said to emily and amy . `` ooh great thinking jess , i 'll let lucas know and be ready to leave in twenty minutes . i just want to change , '' amy said and then dashed off towards her room . `` that does sound nice . i hate to leave trevor with everything going on though , '' emily added . no one can get through our men , '' jessica reassured her . emily really loved to think of mark as her man . she was n't really sure where they stood but so far things seemed to be just about as perfect as they could get . well , as perfect as things could be while she was being stalked by some unknown psycho . i 'll go change and be down quickly , '' emily conceded and ran up to change . `` be careful and do n't stay gone to long , '' mark said to emily . he knew he would be worried about her while she was out . he also knew she needed some time away from the house . her nerves were fried . `` try not to max out the charge cards , '' lucas teased them . `` i 'm sorry but we can not make any promises , '' amy told her husband with a wink . lucas smiled as they headed out the doors . amy was so much more confident from the woman he 'd met years ago . she was still far too frugal but she finally felt like an equal in the marriage . he 'd drummed into her head money was nothing without love and she finally felt she could go out with the girls , without having to justify every little purchase . he was relieved about it . `` i love that woman , '' lucas said as the three women disappeared down the driveway . `` ditto , brother , '' alex said . `` i 'm right there with you , '' mark added . both brothers turned to smile at mark . they were happy he seemed to have found the one . the fact she came with an instant family was an added bonus . `` i ca n't believe how hard we all fought to hold on to our bachelorhood . what the hell were we thinking ? '' `` seriously , '' lucas agreed . `` i thought falling in love with just one woman would be the end of me but watching you guys with your wives and how happy they 've made you over the years has really put a longing in me for something more . i 've felt like there was something missing . i still was determined not to get married but since emily has stepped into my life i ca n't seem to think of anything else , '' mark said .	[["catch", 14], ["catches", 14], ["catched", 14], ["matter", 39], ["mattering", 39], ["day", 47], ["days", 47], ["hour", 60], ["hours", 60], ["cocky", 81], ["man", 85], ["mans", 85], ["manned", 85], ["incredibly", 110], ["confident", 120], ["military", 149], ["almost", 160], ["twenty", 167], ["year", 173], ["years", 173], ["teach", 200], ["taught", 200], ["well", 209], ["wells", 209], ["people", 233], ["life", 245], ["lifes", 245], ["drop", 259], ["everything", 270], ["mark", 281], ["marks", 281], ["happen", 290], ["happened", 290], ["select", 316], ["man", 320], ["mans", 320], ["manned", 320], ["men", 320], ["family", 365], ["turn", 394], ["turned", 394], ["significantly", 412], ["different", 422], ["believe", 442], ["believed", 442], ["help", 460], ["helpest", 460], ["helped", 460], ["get", 468], ["horrible", 488], ["circumstance", 502], ["circumstances", 502], ["success", 536], ["successes", 536], ["chad", 559], ["shake", 565], ["shook", 565], ["distract", 585], ["distracting", 585], ["thought", 594], ["thoughts", 594], ["step", 606], ["stepped", 606], ["bunk", 623], ["bunks", 623], ["bunked", 623], ["house", 629], ["door", 638], ["doors", 638], ["spot", 651], ["spotted", 651], ["foreman", 663], ["right", 669], ["rightest", 669], ["away", 674], ["along", 682], ["couple", 696], ["ranch", 711], ["hand", 717], ["hands", 717], ["sat", 725], ["sit", 725], ["sitting", 725], ["table", 741], ["tabled", 741], ["tabling", 741], ["walk", 753], ["walked", 753], ["usual", 782], ["confidence", 793], ["introduce", 808], ["introduced", 808], ["hi", 824], ["hire", 847], ["hired", 847], ["say", 859], ["sayest", 859], ["said", 859], ["come", 867], ["set", 891], ["stick", 926], ["stickest", 926], ["sticking", 926], ["hand", 939], ["eye", 954], ["eyed", 954], ["warily", 965], ["size", 980], ["sizing", 980], ["new", 989], ["cow", 993], ["finally", 1015], ["stood", 1021], ["stand", 1021], ["standest", 1021], ["acting", 1067], ["skill", 1074], ["skills", 1074], ["normal", 1085], ["observer", 1094], ["never", 1106], ["know", 1111], ["knowest", 1111], ["know", 1121], ["knowest", 1121], ["knew", 1121], ["good", 1142], ["meet", 1150], ["meeted", 1150], ["bob", 1170], ["bobs", 1170], ["clasp", 1214], ["clasped", 1214], ["settle", 1288], ["settled", 1288], ["today", 1297], ["lay", 1313], ["lays", 1313], ["layed", 1313], ["layest", 1313], ["land", 1325], ["begin", 1341], ["work", 1346], ["wrought", 1346], ["tomorrow", 1355], ["tomorrows", 1355], ["give", 1378], ["giving", 1378], ["time", 1392], ["need", 1402], ["needest", 1402], ["needed", 1402], ["order", 1411], ["orderest", 1411], ["scope", 1420], ["scopes", 1420], ["area", 1433], ["snoop", 1454], ["snooped", 1454], ["snooping", 1454], ["thing", 1479], ["things", 1479], ["head", 1507], ["headed", 1507], ["back", 1512], ["sat", 1552], ["sit", 1552], ["discuss", 1571], ["discusses", 1571], ["discussest", 1571], ["discussed", 1571], ["promise", 1593], ["promised", 1593], ["keep", 1601], ["keepest", 1601], ["bunkhouse", 1633], ["three", 1647], ["five", 1656], ["fived", 1656], ["survey", 1684], ["surveyest", 1684], ["ground", 1696], ["grounds", 1696], ["see", 1713], ["anything", 1722], ["suspicious", 1733], ["much", 1768], ["thorough", 1810], ["search", 1817], ["next", 1826], ["day", 1830], ["really", 1842], ["go", 1855], ["goest", 1855], ["room", 1879], ["roomed", 1879], ["rooms", 1879], ["far", 1892], ["find", 1912], ["item", 1929], ["items", 1929], ["dot", 1957], ["dotted", 1957], ["slip", 1968], ["slipped", 1968], ["without", 2002], ["anyone", 2009], ["see", 2016], ["seeing", 2016], ["begin", 2030], ["began", 2030], ["search", 2040], ["searching", 2040], ["belonging", 2070], ["belongings", 2070], ["guy", 2128], ["guys", 2128], ["take", 2137], ["care", 2142], ["kid", 2154], ["kids", 2154], ["desperate", 2174], ["need", 2179], ["needest", 2179], ["pedicure", 2193], ["pedicuring", 2193], ["jessica", 2206], ["jessicas", 2206], ["emily", 2220], ["amy", 2228], ["ooh", 2237], ["oohing", 2237], ["great", 2243], ["jess", 2257], ["let", 2269], ["lets", 2269], ["lucas", 2275], ["ready", 2293], ["left", 2302], ["leave", 2302], ["minute", 2320], ["minutes", 2320], ["change", 2344], ["dash", 2374], ["dashed", 2374], ["towards", 2386], ["room", 2395], ["roomed", 2395], ["sound", 2416], ["nice", 2421], ["hate", 2430], ["hateed", 2430], ["trevor", 2446], ["go", 2468], ["goest", 2468], ["going", 2468], ["though", 2478], ["add", 2495], ["added", 2495], ["reassure", 2551], ["reassured", 2551], ["love", 2576], ["loved", 2576], ["think", 2585], ["thinkest", 2585], ["sure", 2630], ["seem", 2672], ["seeming", 2672], ["seemed", 2672], ["perfect", 2700], ["perfectest", 2700], ["stalk", 2785], ["stalkest", 2785], ["stalked", 2785], ["unknown", 2801], ["unknowns", 2801], ["psycho", 2808], ["quickly", 2846], ["concede", 2866], ["conceded", 2866], ["run", 2874], ["ran", 2874], ["careful", 2903], ["stay", 2919], ["go", 2924], ["goest", 2924], ["gone", 2924], ["long", 2932], ["longs", 2932], ["also", 3024], ["nerve", 3083], ["nerves", 3083], ["fry", 3094], ["fried", 3094], ["try", 3103], ["tryed", 3103], ["max", 3114], ["charge", 3129], ["card", 3135], ["cards", 3135], ["tease", 3153], ["teased", 3153], ["sorry", 3174], ["promise", 3207], ["promises", 3207], ["tell", 3221], ["told", 3221], ["husband", 3233], ["husbanding", 3233], ["wink", 3245], ["winks", 3245], ["winkest", 3245], ["smile", 3260], ["smiled", 3260], ["woman", 3337], ["womans", 3337], ["meet", 3347], ["meeted", 3347], ["met", 3347], ["ago", 3357], ["still", 3373], ["frugal", 3388], ["feel", 3409], ["felt", 3409], ["like", 3414], ["equal", 3423], ["marriage", 3439], ["drum", 3455], ["drummed", 3455], ["head", 3469], ["money", 3475], ["moneys", 3475], ["nothing", 3487], ["love", 3500], ["girl", 3553], ["girls", 3553], ["justify", 3581], ["justified", 3581], ["every", 3587], ["little", 3594], ["purchase", 3603], ["relieve", 3621], ["relieved", 3621], ["woman", 3688], ["womans", 3688], ["women", 3688], ["disappear", 3700], ["disappeared", 3700], ["driveway", 3718], ["ditto", 3729], ["dittos", 3729], ["brother", 3739], ["brethren", 3739], ["alex", 3749], ["brother", 3817], ["brethren", 3817], ["brothers", 3817], ["smile", 3833], ["happy", 3859], ["find", 3883], ["found", 3883], ["fact", 3902], ["come", 3911], ["came", 3911], ["instant", 3927], ["bonus", 3953], ["ca", 3963], ["cas", 3963], ["believe", 3975], ["hard", 3984], ["fight", 3998], ["fightest", 3998], ["fought", 3998], ["hold", 4006], ["bachelorhood", 4029], ["hell", 4045], ["hells", 4045], ["think", 4062], ["thinkest", 4062], ["thinking", 4062], ["seriously", 4080], ["agree", 4098], ["agreed", 4098], ["think", 4113], ["thinkest", 4113], ["thought", 4113], ["fall", 4121], ["falls", 4121], ["falling", 4121], ["end", 4166], ["ends", 4166], ["endest", 4166], ["watch", 4185], ["watching", 4185], ["wife", 4210], ["wives", 4210], ["put", 4272], ["longing", 4282], ["miss", 4353], ["missing", 4353], ["determine", 4378], ["determined", 4378], ["marry", 4397], ["married", 4397], ["since", 4407], ["seem", 4452], ["seeming", 4452], ["else", 4478]]
it occurred to her that he had a lot of experience in shopping for a woman and she did n't like the jealousy that seized her . until jace wryly commented that he 'd made countless shopping trips with his younger sister over the years . when it became obvious that bethany would n't choose any of the dreadfully expensive items that jace was convinced she needed , he forewent asking her altogether and took charge . he bulldozed his way through the stores , pointing out what he wanted in her sizes and had the saleslady collect them . after outfitting her in all the necessities , from underwear-which was horribly awkward-to bras-equally awkward-to jeans , shirts and dresses she had no clue why she 'd ever need , he then purchased sweaters , two coats-one short and one long-and three pairs of fur-lined boots . `` i do n't want your feet getting cold , '' he told her . she was appalled and at the same time her heart melted at the care he took in picking out every single purchase . by the end of the five-hour marathon , bethany 's head was spinning and jace 's driver had to help carry all the purchases to the car . there was a veritable mountain of bags and boxes in the trunk and they still had to stuff many of them in the front seat . bethany sagged into the seat , bewildered by the way the day had shaped up . yes , he 'd said he was taking her shopping . she figured he 'd buy a coat-since he was so pissed that she did n't own one-and maybe a few items . she 'd never expected an entire wardrobe and enough clothes to wear every day for a month without duplication ! she did n't even want to know what all this had cost . she 'd refused to look at the price tags after she 'd made the mistake of peeking at the first one . she 'd nearly fainted and jace had frowned and promptly directed her gaze elsewhere . jace reached over for her hand and squeezed . i mean obviously , but not even on a smaller scale . most of my shopping-if you can call it that-has been at thrift shops and goodwill stores . '' `` those days are over , bethany . i want you to forget them . '' over until he moved on , got over his ... she was n't even sure what to call his seeming attraction to her . whatever it was would n't last forever and going back to her life would be even harder afterward . before it had been all she knew but now ? jace was giving her a taste of how different things could be . they pulled up in front of a sleek , modern-looking building on the upper west side and jace got out , extending his hand to help her from the car . after instructing his driver to see that the bags were brought up , he directed bethany toward the entrance . once inside , he introduced her to the doorman . evidently jace had already notified him that she 'd be staying in the apartment because it was more a case of formality than introducing a new situation . then jace gave her a tour of the facilities and the amenities offered by the building . she could n't imagine taking advantage of any of them . having an actual apartment was a luxury she could n't even wrap her mind around . to have all of the extra perks blew her mind . she was relieved when they finally got on the elevator and rode up to the apartment . she was frazzled by all the shopping and she desperately wanted a quiet place to decompress . jace unlocked the door and then held it open for her . `` let 's go see your apartment , baby . '' she still could n't comprehend being given an entire apartment . jace was insane . but then she 'd already covered that ground . when she walked in , her breath caught and she stopped dead in the middle of the floor . tears welled and a sob crept out of her throat . jace wrapped an arm around her and squeezed . he dragged out the word in an aching voice that made her heart turn over in a fluttery cartwheel . `` it 's beautiful , jace , '' she whispered . he smiled and kissed her on the nose . `` and you have n't seen it all yet . '' `` i 've seen enough to know it 's perfect . '' the living room and kitchen blended together in one large room with an open concept she loved . but the color scheme was what made it absolutely perfect . done in earth tones , the room-the entire apartment-had a homey , cozy feel that was the epitome of everything she 'd ever wanted in a place to live . and the kitchen was state-of-the-art stainless steel appliances . a chef 's stove . and it looked to be fully stocked with cookware and cutlery . her hands itched to get into that kitchen and cook . `` i 'll show you the rest and by then your bags should be up . ''	[["occur", 11], ["occurest", 11], ["occurred", 11], ["lot", 36], ["experience", 50], ["experienced", 50], ["shopping", 62], ["woman", 74], ["womans", 74], ["like", 95], ["jealousy", 108], ["jealousies", 108], ["seize", 120], ["seizes", 120], ["seized", 120], ["wryly", 143], ["comment", 153], ["commented", 153], ["countless", 179], ["trip", 194], ["tripping", 194], ["trips", 194], ["young", 211], ["youngest", 211], ["sister", 218], ["year", 233], ["years", 233], ["become", 250], ["became", 250], ["obvious", 258], ["bethany", 271], ["choose", 288], ["dreadfully", 310], ["expensive", 320], ["item", 326], ["items", 326], ["convince", 350], ["convinced", 350], ["convincing", 350], ["need", 361], ["needest", 361], ["needed", 361], ["forewent", 375], ["ask", 382], ["asking", 382], ["altogether", 397], ["take", 406], ["took", 406], ["charge", 413], ["bulldoze", 428], ["bulldozed", 428], ["bulldozing", 428], ["way", 436], ["ways", 436], ["store", 455], ["stores", 455], ["point", 466], ["pointing", 466], ["size", 498], ["sizes", 498], ["saleslady", 520], ["collect", 528], ["outfit", 552], ["outfitting", 552], ["necessity", 579], ["necessities", 579], ["underwear", 596], ["horribly", 615], ["awkward", 623], ["bra", 631], ["bras", 631], ["equally", 639], ["jean", 656], ["jeans", 656], ["shirt", 665], ["shirts", 665], ["dress", 677], ["dressest", 677], ["dresses", 677], ["clue", 693], ["clues", 693], ["ever", 709], ["everest", 709], ["need", 714], ["needest", 714], ["purchase", 734], ["purchased", 734], ["sweater", 743], ["sweaters", 743], ["two", 749], ["twos", 749], ["coat", 755], ["coats", 755], ["short", 765], ["long", 778], ["longs", 778], ["three", 788], ["pair", 794], ["pairs", 794], ["fur", 801], ["line", 807], ["lined", 807], ["boot", 813], ["boots", 813], ["foot", 842], ["feet", 842], ["get", 850], ["getting", 850], ["cold", 855], ["tell", 868], ["told", 868], ["appal", 891], ["appals", 891], ["appalling", 891], ["appalled", 891], ["time", 912], ["heart", 922], ["melt", 929], ["meltest", 929], ["melted", 929], ["pick", 960], ["picking", 960], ["every", 970], ["single", 977], ["purchase", 986], ["end", 999], ["ends", 999], ["endest", 999], ["five", 1011], ["fived", 1011], ["hour", 1016], ["marathon", 1025], ["head", 1043], ["spun", 1056], ["spin", 1056], ["spinning", 1056], ["driver", 1075], ["help", 1087], ["helpest", 1087], ["carry", 1093], ["purchase", 1111], ["purchases", 1111], ["car", 1122], ["veritable", 1146], ["mountain", 1155], ["bag", 1163], ["bagged", 1163], ["bagging", 1163], ["bags", 1163], ["box", 1173], ["boxed", 1173], ["boxes", 1173], ["trunk", 1186], ["still", 1201], ["stuff", 1214], ["many", 1219], ["front", 1240], ["seat", 1245], ["sag", 1262], ["sagged", 1262], ["bewilder", 1289], ["bewilderest", 1289], ["bewildered", 1289], ["day", 1308], ["shape", 1319], ["shapes", 1319], ["shaped", 1319], ["yes", 1328], ["say", 1341], ["sayest", 1341], ["said", 1341], ["take", 1355], ["taking", 1355], ["figure", 1382], ["figured", 1382], ["buy", 1392], ["buyed", 1392], ["coat", 1399], ["since", 1405], ["maybe", 1457], ["never", 1484], ["expect", 1493], ["expected", 1493], ["entire", 1503], ["wardrobe", 1512], ["wardrobes", 1512], ["wardrobed", 1512], ["enough", 1523], ["clad", 1531], ["clothe", 1531], ["clothes", 1531], ["wear", 1539], ["month", 1561], ["without", 1569], ["duplication", 1581], ["even", 1600], ["evens", 1600], ["know", 1613], ["knowest", 1613], ["cost", 1636], ["refuse", 1653], ["refused", 1653], ["look", 1661], ["price", 1674], ["tag", 1679], ["tags", 1679], ["mistake", 1709], ["mistook", 1709], ["mistaken", 1709], ["peek", 1720], ["peeks", 1720], ["peeking", 1720], ["first", 1733], ["firstest", 1733], ["nearly", 1753], ["faint", 1761], ["fainted", 1761], ["frown", 1782], ["frowns", 1782], ["frowned", 1782], ["promptly", 1795], ["direct", 1804], ["directed", 1804], ["gaze", 1813], ["gazes", 1813], ["elsewhere", 1823], ["reach", 1838], ["reached", 1838], ["hand", 1856], ["squeeze", 1869], ["squeezes", 1869], ["squeezed", 1869], ["mean", 1878], ["meanest", 1878], ["obviously", 1888], ["small", 1916], ["scale", 1922], ["call", 1960], ["thrift", 1987], ["shop", 1993], ["shops", 1993], ["goodwill", 2006], ["day", 2032], ["days", 2032], ["forget", 2074], ["forgot", 2074], ["move", 2104], ["moved", 2104], ["get", 2113], ["got", 2113], ["sure", 2148], ["seeming", 2173], ["attraction", 2184], ["whatever", 2202], ["last", 2224], ["forever", 2232], ["go", 2242], ["goest", 2242], ["going", 2242], ["back", 2247], ["life", 2259], ["lifes", 2259], ["hard", 2280], ["afterward", 2290], ["know", 2324], ["knowest", 2324], ["knew", 2324], ["give", 2350], ["giving", 2350], ["taste", 2362], ["different", 2379], ["thing", 2386], ["things", 2386], ["pull", 2409], ["pulled", 2409], ["sleek", 2432], ["modern", 2441], ["look", 2449], ["looking", 2449], ["build", 2458], ["building", 2458], ["upper", 2471], ["west", 2476], ["side", 2481], ["sidest", 2481], ["extend", 2510], ["extended", 2510], ["extending", 2510], ["instruct", 2564], ["instructest", 2564], ["instructing", 2564], ["see", 2582], ["bring", 2609], ["brought", 2609], ["toward", 2641], ["entrance", 2654], ["entrancing", 2654], ["inside", 2668], ["introduce", 2684], ["introduced", 2684], ["doorman", 2703], ["evidently", 2715], ["already", 2732], ["notify", 2741], ["notified", 2741], ["stay", 2768], ["staying", 2768], ["apartment", 2785], ["case", 2812], ["formality", 2825], ["introduce", 2842], ["introducing", 2842], ["new", 2848], ["situation", 2858], ["give", 2875], ["gave", 2875], ["tour", 2886], ["facility", 2904], ["facilities", 2904], ["amenity", 2922], ["amenities", 2922], ["offer", 2930], ["offered", 2930], ["imagine", 2970], ["advantage", 2987], ["advantaging", 2987], ["actual", 3021], ["luxury", 3044], ["wrap", 3068], ["wraps", 3068], ["wrapping", 3068], ["mind", 3077], ["minding", 3077], ["around", 3084], ["extra", 3111], ["extras", 3111], ["perk", 3117], ["perks", 3117], ["blew", 3122], ["blow", 3122], ["blowest", 3122], ["relieve", 3150], ["relieved", 3150], ["finally", 3168], ["elevator", 3188], ["ride", 3197], ["rode", 3197], ["frazzle", 3236], ["frazzled", 3236], ["desperately", 3276], ["quiet", 3291], ["place", 3297], ["decompress", 3311], ["decompresses", 3311], ["decompressing", 3311], ["unlock", 3327], ["unlocking", 3327], ["unlockest", 3327], ["door", 3336], ["hold", 3350], ["held", 3350], ["open", 3358], ["let", 3375], ["lets", 3375], ["go", 3381], ["goest", 3381], ["baby", 3407], ["comprehend", 3443], ["give", 3455], ["given", 3455], ["insane", 3493], ["cover", 3527], ["covered", 3527], ["ground", 3539], ["walk", 3557], ["walked", 3557], ["breath", 3573], ["breathest", 3573], ["catch", 3580], ["catches", 3580], ["catched", 3580], ["caught", 3580], ["stop", 3596], ["stopped", 3596], ["dead", 3601], ["middle", 3615], ["middles", 3615], ["middling", 3615], ["floor", 3628], ["tear", 3636], ["teared", 3636], ["tears", 3636], ["well", 3643], ["wells", 3643], ["sob", 3653], ["sobs", 3653], ["sobbed", 3653], ["creep", 3659], ["creeps", 3659], ["creeped", 3659], ["crept", 3659], ["throat", 3677], ["wrap", 3692], ["wraps", 3692], ["wrapping", 3692], ["wrapped", 3692], ["arm", 3699], ["drag", 3736], ["dragged", 3736], ["word", 3749], ["ache", 3762], ["ached", 3762], ["aching", 3762], ["voice", 3768], ["turn", 3793], ["fluttery", 3812], ["cartwheel", 3822], ["beautiful", 3843], ["beautifulest", 3843], ["whisper", 3869], ["whispered", 3869], ["smile", 3881], ["smiled", 3881], ["kiss", 3892], ["kisses", 3892], ["kissest", 3892], ["kissed", 3892], ["nose", 3908], ["nosed", 3908], ["nosing", 3908], ["see", 3935], ["seen", 3935], ["yet", 3946], ["perfect", 3994], ["perfectest", 3994], ["room", 4015], ["roomed", 4015], ["kitchen", 4027], ["kitchens", 4027], ["blend", 4035], ["blending", 4035], ["blendest", 4035], ["blended", 4035], ["together", 4044], ["large", 4057], ["concept", 4083], ["love", 4093], ["loved", 4093], ["color", 4109], ["scheme", 4116], ["scheming", 4116], ["absolutely", 4144], ["earth", 4168], ["earths", 4168], ["earthest", 4168], ["tone", 4174], ["toned", 4174], ["toning", 4174], ["tones", 4174], ["homey", 4218], ["cozy", 4225], ["feel", 4230], ["epitome", 4251], ["everything", 4265], ["live", 4303], ["state", 4331], ["art", 4342], ["stainless", 4352], ["steel", 4358], ["appliance", 4369], ["appliances", 4369], ["chef", 4378], ["chefs", 4378], ["stove", 4387], ["look", 4403], ["looked", 4403], ["fully", 4415], ["stock", 4423], ["stocked", 4423], ["cookware", 4437], ["cutlery", 4449], ["hand", 4461], ["hands", 4461], ["itch", 4468], ["itches", 4468], ["itched", 4468], ["get", 4475], ["cook", 4502], ["show", 4518], ["rest", 4531]]
she was the most beautiful woman he 'd ever made love to . he could barely keep himself from exploding all over her bed , as he continued his journey to her core . he finally reached her sweet womanhood and flicked his tongue over the swollen pink flesh . she was so unbelievably beautiful . the taste of her made his erection pulse painfully , with his desire to sink into her tight opening . he flicked his tongue out and kissed her in the most intimate way a man can kiss a woman , until she was writhing underneath him and moaning out his name . he slipped his fingers inside and discovered she was more than ready for him . he crawled quickly up her body and then locked his lips back with hers . she greedily took everything she could from him . she was rubbing her hands all over his bulging muscles as she squirmed to bring them closer . `` please derek , '' she cried out , when he still had n't united them . he spread her legs apart and then rubbed his engorged member along her folds . the heat from her was making his head light . she was so wet and hot , he could n't play any longer . he grabbed her hps and thrust deep inside her in one quick motion . she cried out , as he filled her up with his full length . he paused for a moment , so he could try and control himself . he would n't be able to give her pleasure if he did n't get himself under control . she wiggled her hps in need and he could n't take anymore . he started thrusting hard , in and out of her , while holding her hps tightly in his hands . their tongues continued to mimic their lovemaking , tangling and thrusting into one another 's mouths , as they both groaned out their intense pleasure . he began thrusting into her harder and faster , as he felt the exquisite pleasure shooting through his body . he felt her own body tensing , as she reached higher , towards her release . she gasped out loud and her mouth opened wide , releasing him . she threw her head back into the bed and cried out as her body started convulsing around him . she gripped him tightly , deep within her womb and he almost lost consciousness as he felt his release shoot deep inside of her tight body . it felt like lightening shooting through him , as his erection continued to pump within her core . she was still gripping him tightly in spasms and he drained every ounce of himself inside her . it was the most intense orgasm he 'd ever felt in his life . his energy had been depleted and he fell against her sweat slickened body . they were both breathing in deep gasps of air . he realized he had to be crushing her and turned their bodies so he was holding her tightly against him , side by side . they were still connected in the most intimate way a man and woman could be and he could n't find the will power to pull them apart . she wiggled , seeming to try and get even closer to him , as if she could n't let him go either . they lay there for several minutes , until their breathing slowed down and the intenseness of their lovemaking began to dim . he knew the moment she realized what she 'd done again , because her lax body stiffened and she began to push him away . he reluctantly let her go and was sorry to feel the connection broken , as she pulled free from his body . he somehow felt empty and he could n't understand it . he 'd never before wanted to stay connected to a woman . he 'd always been the first one to crawl out of bed and leave before she could possibly want to do the after sex cuddling . he realized jasmine was truly the only woman he 'd made love to , instead of just bedding . he 'd never understood the difference until that moment . jasmine was staring at him with wide eyes , filled with shock . she quickly grabbed her sheet and covered herself up and he felt more disappointment . he enjoyed looking at her curvy body and wanted to continue to explore her . `` i ... i ... d ... do n't know why that keeps happening , '' she sputtered to him , as her cheeks filled with color . `` because we have undeniable chemistry , '' he said , with his trademark , cocky smile . he was feeling pretty good at that moment . he had n't planned on starting his day out ravishing her but he could think of far worse things he could 've been doing . `` i do n't sleep with strangers , '' she blurted out . `` we 're not strangers jasmine , so do n't try that crap on me . you were a virgin the first time i took you and from the feel of your body , you have n't taken too many more lovers , '' he said , with far too much confidence . he was laying there in all his nakd glory and her eyes strayed to his still half aroused body part .	[["beautiful", 26], ["beautifulest", 26], ["woman", 32], ["womans", 32], ["ever", 43], ["everest", 43], ["love", 53], ["barely", 74], ["keep", 79], ["keepest", 79], ["explode", 102], ["exploding", 102], ["bed", 119], ["continue", 137], ["continued", 137], ["journey", 149], ["journeys", 149], ["journeyed", 149], ["journeyest", 149], ["core", 161], ["finally", 174], ["reach", 182], ["reached", 182], ["sweet", 192], ["womanhood", 202], ["flick", 214], ["flickest", 214], ["flicked", 214], ["tongue", 225], ["tonguing", 225], ["pink", 247], ["flesh", 253], ["fleshest", 253], ["unbelievably", 279], ["taste", 301], ["erection", 326], ["pulse", 332], ["painfully", 342], ["desire", 360], ["sink", 368], ["sank", 368], ["tight", 383], ["opening", 391], ["kiss", 430], ["kisses", 430], ["kissest", 430], ["kissed", 430], ["intimate", 455], ["way", 459], ["ways", 459], ["man", 465], ["mans", 465], ["manned", 465], ["kiss", 474], ["kisses", 474], ["kissest", 474], ["writhe", 507], ["writhes", 507], ["writhing", 507], ["underneath", 518], ["moan", 534], ["moans", 534], ["moanest", 534], ["moaning", 534], ["name", 547], ["slip", 560], ["slipped", 560], ["finger", 572], ["fingers", 572], ["inside", 579], ["discover", 594], ["discovered", 594], ["ready", 618], ["crawl", 639], ["crawled", 639], ["quickly", 647], ["body", 659], ["bodied", 659], ["lock", 675], ["locked", 675], ["lip", 684], ["lipped", 684], ["lips", 684], ["back", 689], ["greedily", 714], ["take", 719], ["took", 719], ["everything", 730], ["rub", 767], ["rubbing", 767], ["hand", 777], ["hands", 777], ["bulge", 798], ["bulging", 798], ["muscle", 806], ["muscles", 806], ["squirm", 822], ["squirmed", 822], ["bring", 831], ["close", 843], ["closer", 843], ["please", 855], ["derek", 861], ["cry", 876], ["cried", 876], ["still", 896], ["unite", 911], ["united", 911], ["spread", 928], ["leg", 937], ["legs", 937], ["apart", 943], ["rub", 959], ["rubbed", 959], ["engorge", 972], ["engorged", 972], ["member", 979], ["along", 985], ["fold", 995], ["folds", 995], ["heat", 1006], ["heats", 1006], ["heated", 1006], ["head", 1035], ["lit", 1041], ["light", 1041], ["wet", 1058], ["hot", 1066], ["play", 1086], ["playest", 1086], ["long", 1097], ["longs", 1097], ["grab", 1110], ["grabbed", 1110], ["thrust", 1130], ["deep", 1135], ["deeply", 1135], ["quick", 1159], ["motion", 1166], ["fill", 1197], ["fills", 1197], ["filled", 1197], ["full", 1218], ["length", 1225], ["pause", 1237], ["paused", 1237], ["moment", 1250], ["try", 1268], ["tryed", 1268], ["control", 1280], ["able", 1311], ["abled", 1311], ["give", 1319], ["pleasure", 1332], ["get", 1350], ["wiggle", 1386], ["wiggled", 1386], ["need", 1403], ["needest", 1403], ["take", 1425], ["anymore", 1433], ["start", 1446], ["started", 1446], ["thrust", 1456], ["thrusting", 1456], ["hard", 1461], ["hold", 1497], ["holding", 1497], ["tightly", 1514], ["tongue", 1543], ["tonguing", 1543], ["tongues", 1543], ["mimic", 1562], ["mimics", 1562], ["mimicking", 1562], ["another", 1621], ["mouth", 1631], ["mouthed", 1631], ["mouths", 1631], ["groan", 1654], ["groans", 1654], ["groanest", 1654], ["groaning", 1654], ["groaned", 1654], ["intense", 1672], ["begin", 1692], ["began", 1692], ["hard", 1718], ["fast", 1729], ["feel", 1742], ["felt", 1742], ["exquisite", 1756], ["shoot", 1774], ["shooted", 1774], ["shooting", 1774], ["tense", 1822], ["tensing", 1822], ["high", 1846], ["towards", 1856], ["release", 1868], ["gasp", 1881], ["gasps", 1881], ["gasped", 1881], ["loud", 1890], ["mouth", 1904], ["mouthed", 1904], ["open", 1911], ["opened", 1911], ["wide", 1916], ["release", 1928], ["releasing", 1928], ["throw", 1944], ["threw", 1944], ["convulse", 2016], ["around", 2023], ["grip", 2041], ["within", 2067], ["womb", 2076], ["almost", 2090], ["lose", 2095], ["lost", 2095], ["consciousness", 2109], ["shoot", 2138], ["shooted", 2138], ["like", 2183], ["lighten", 2194], ["lightens", 2194], ["lightening", 2194], ["pump", 2251], ["grip", 2292], ["gripping", 2292], ["spasm", 2314], ["spasms", 2314], ["drain", 2329], ["drained", 2329], ["every", 2335], ["ounce", 2341], ["orgasm", 2396], ["orgasms", 2396], ["life", 2424], ["lifes", 2424], ["energy", 2437], ["deplete", 2455], ["depleted", 2455], ["fall", 2467], ["falls", 2467], ["fell", 2467], ["sweat", 2485], ["breathe", 2527], ["breathes", 2527], ["breathing", 2527], ["gasp", 2541], ["gasps", 2541], ["air", 2548], ["airs", 2548], ["airing", 2548], ["realize", 2562], ["realized", 2562], ["crush", 2584], ["crushest", 2584], ["crushing", 2584], ["turn", 2599], ["turned", 2599], ["body", 2612], ["bodied", 2612], ["bodies", 2612], ["side", 2661], ["sidest", 2661], ["connect", 2697], ["connectest", 2697], ["connected", 2697], ["find", 2769], ["power", 2784], ["pull", 2792], ["seeming", 2827], ["even", 2847], ["evens", 2847], ["let", 2887], ["lets", 2887], ["go", 2894], ["goest", 2894], ["either", 2901], ["lay", 2912], ["lays", 2912], ["layed", 2912], ["layest", 2912], ["several", 2930], ["minute", 2938], ["minutes", 2938], ["slow", 2969], ["slowed", 2969], ["intenseness", 2994], ["dim", 3027], ["dimmed", 3027], ["know", 3037], ["knowest", 3037], ["knew", 3037], ["lax", 3102], ["stiffen", 3117], ["stiffens", 3117], ["stiffened", 3117], ["push", 3139], ["away", 3148], ["reluctantly", 3165], ["sorry", 3190], ["feel", 3198], ["connection", 3213], ["break", 3220], ["broke", 3220], ["broken", 3220], ["pull", 3236], ["pulled", 3236], ["free", 3241], ["somehow", 3268], ["empty", 3279], ["understand", 3307], ["understanded", 3307], ["never", 3324], ["stay", 3346], ["always", 3382], ["first", 3397], ["firstest", 3397], ["crawl", 3410], ["crawled", 3410], ["left", 3431], ["leave", 3431], ["sex", 3482], ["jasmine", 3513], ["jasmines", 3513], ["truly", 3523], ["instead", 3567], ["bed", 3583], ["understand", 3608], ["understanded", 3608], ["understood", 3608], ["difference", 3623], ["stare", 3663], ["stared", 3663], ["staring", 3663], ["eye", 3685], ["eyed", 3685], ["eyes", 3685], ["shock", 3705], ["sheet", 3737], ["cover", 3749], ["covered", 3749], ["disappointment", 3792], ["enjoy", 3805], ["enjoyed", 3805], ["look", 3813], ["looking", 3813], ["curvy", 3826], ["continue", 3854], ["explore", 3865], ["know", 3904], ["knowest", 3904], ["keep", 3919], ["keepest", 3919], ["keeps", 3919], ["happen", 3929], ["happening", 3929], ["sputter", 3948], ["sputtering", 3948], ["cheek", 3971], ["cheeks", 3971], ["color", 3989], ["undeniable", 4021], ["chemistry", 4031], ["say", 4044], ["sayest", 4044], ["said", 4044], ["trademark", 4065], ["trademarking", 4065], ["cocky", 4073], ["smile", 4079], ["feel", 4096], ["feeling", 4096], ["pretty", 4103], ["prettiest", 4103], ["good", 4108], ["plan", 4144], ["planned", 4144], ["start", 4156], ["starting", 4156], ["day", 4164], ["ravish", 4178], ["ravishing", 4178], ["think", 4201], ["thinkest", 4201], ["far", 4208], ["bad", 4214], ["worse", 4214], ["thing", 4221], ["things", 4221], ["slept", 4265], ["sleep", 4265], ["sleeps", 4265], ["sleepest", 4265], ["stranger", 4280], ["strangers", 4280], ["blurt", 4297], ["blurted", 4297], ["crap", 4361], ["crapped", 4361], ["virgin", 4387], ["time", 4402], ["take", 4465], ["taken", 4465], ["many", 4474], ["lover", 4486], ["lovers", 4486], ["much", 4519], ["confidence", 4530], ["lay", 4546], ["lays", 4546], ["layed", 4546], ["layest", 4546], ["laying", 4546], ["glory", 4575], ["gloried", 4575], ["stray", 4596], ["strays", 4596], ["strayed", 4596], ["half", 4614], ["part", 4632], ["parting", 4632]]
you knew you 'd be safe here , that i 'd protect you if the shit hit the fan , but for some reason , you never planned on me going face-to-face with rado . '' i- '' `` do n't waste our time with lies . '' his expression was definitely veering toward a scowl . `` just know that if you try to run , you 'll have both of us chasing you down-me and radovich . and you wo n't like what happens if i find you first . '' her breath caught in her chest at the blatant warning in those low , husky words , but she knew she was n't in any real danger from him . he would n't physically harm her-not like rado would . no , ryder was promising a different kind of punishment . one that made her heart pound and her pulse race , while she went warm and wet in places that were eagerly anticipating his possession . it was almost funny , the way he thought he was making some kind of threat , when she was more than willing to take whatever he wanted to dish out . `` if we do this , '' he added , `` then we do it my way . '' the time for being shy was definitely over . taking a deep breath , lily deliberately let go of the sheet , watching his gaze drop as the white cotton slipped down to her waist . her nples pulled even tighter beneath the weight of his stare . `` you 're into control and all that , right ? '' that muscle started to pulse in his jaw again . his nostrils flared as he roughly exhaled . `` focus , lily . '' something hot and hard started to burn in that dark gaze as he slowly brought it back to her face . `` you 'll listen to me or i 'll cuff your sweet little ass to that bed . '' refusing to back down , she drawled , `` you can cuff it anyway , deputy . i 've always wanted to try a little bondage . '' ryder was on her before he 'd even realized he was moving . one second he was sitting in the chair across the room , and in the next he had her trapped beneath him in the center of the mattress , his hands manacling her delicate wrists . his eyes narrowed as he stared down at her triumphant expression . `` you 're pushing me , little lily . '' she gazed up at him with wide eyes , her face flushed with excitement . `` i 'm not little , scott . and if it 'll get you pushing into me , then good . i 'll just keep pushing . he shoved a knee between her legs , forcing them apart , and pressed against the crotch of her panties , letting her feel just how thick and hard he was . he growled , his lungs heaving . `` you still want me inside you ? '' instead of scaring her off , the look in her eyes got hotter ... softer , as if she saw right inside him and liked what she saw . it was like she understood his screwed up emotions even better than he did . he made his tone as snide as possible . `` you really think you can take it , baby girl ? '' her laugh was low and sweet , giving him chills . `` maybe the question is whether or not you can keep up with me . i mean , i 'm younger , which means i 've got more stamina . and i 'm sure as hell not afraid of your dick , scott-no matter how big it is . '' he shook his head and glared . `` for one , you 're too damn young . and your fking life is in danger . you need to stay focused and stop trying to get me in your pants . '' she laughed a little harder , hugging his h*ps with her slender thighs . and if my life 's in danger , then should n't i be enjoying every moment of it while i still have the time ? '' `` do n't say that , '' he snapped , gripping her shoulders and shaking her . `` you do n't know that , '' lily said softly , staring up at him . `` i have every faith you can keep yourself alive-so long as you do n't do something reckless-or i would n't have come here . but we both know the odds are n't in my favor . not if he 's decided i need to die . '' and that right there was why she 'd run to him . because she refused to leave this world before she 'd done everything she could to get her fill of this beautiful , somehow damaged , thoroughly exasperating man . `` you really think i 'll let him touch you ? '' his face was right above hers now , his breath warm against her lips . `` if i stay , i wo n't blame you if you fail . we both know what he 's like . you 're my best shot , but a girl 's got ta be realistic , right ? '' `` i 'd rather tell you what i want to do to you , '' she shot back , knowing she was pushing him . it was like the need inside of her had taken control of her mouth .	[["know", 8], ["knowest", 8], ["knew", 8], ["safe", 23], ["safes", 23], ["safed", 23], ["protect", 48], ["protectest", 48], ["shit", 64], ["hit", 68], ["fan", 76], ["reason", 98], ["reasonest", 98], ["never", 110], ["plan", 118], ["planned", 118], ["go", 130], ["goest", 130], ["going", 130], ["face", 135], ["waste", 180], ["time", 189], ["lay", 199], ["lie", 199], ["lain", 199], ["lies", 199], ["expression", 219], ["definitely", 234], ["veer", 242], ["veering", 242], ["toward", 249], ["scowl", 257], ["scowls", 257], ["scowlest", 257], ["scowling", 257], ["know", 272], ["knowest", 272], ["try", 288], ["tryed", 288], ["run", 295], ["chase", 329], ["chasing", 329], ["wo", 367], ["like", 376], ["happen", 389], ["happens", 389], ["find", 399], ["first", 409], ["firstest", 409], ["breath", 425], ["breathest", 425], ["catch", 432], ["catches", 432], ["catched", 432], ["caught", 432], ["chest", 445], ["blatant", 460], ["warning", 468], ["low", 481], ["lowed", 481], ["husky", 489], ["word", 495], ["words", 495], ["reis", 534], ["real", 534], ["danger", 541], ["physically", 576], ["harm", 581], ["harmest", 581], ["ryder", 618], ["promise", 632], ["promising", 632], ["different", 644], ["kind", 649], ["punishment", 663], ["heart", 689], ["pound", 695], ["pulse", 709], ["race", 714], ["racing", 714], ["go", 731], ["goest", 731], ["went", 731], ["warm", 736], ["wet", 744], ["place", 754], ["places", 754], ["eagerly", 772], ["anticipate", 785], ["anticipating", 785], ["possession", 800], ["almost", 816], ["funny", 822], ["way", 832], ["ways", 832], ["think", 843], ["thinkest", 843], ["thought", 843], ["threat", 877], ["willing", 910], ["take", 918], ["whatever", 927], ["dish", 945], ["dished", 945], ["add", 982], ["added", 982], ["shy", 1036], ["shying", 1036], ["take", 1065], ["taking", 1065], ["deep", 1072], ["deeply", 1072], ["lily", 1086], ["deliberately", 1099], ["let", 1103], ["lets", 1103], ["go", 1106], ["goest", 1106], ["sheet", 1119], ["watch", 1130], ["watching", 1130], ["gaze", 1139], ["gazes", 1139], ["drop", 1144], ["white", 1157], ["cotton", 1164], ["slip", 1172], ["slipped", 1172], ["waist", 1190], ["pull", 1211], ["pulled", 1211], ["even", 1216], ["evens", 1216], ["tight", 1224], ["beneath", 1232], ["weight", 1243], ["weighted", 1243], ["weightest", 1243], ["stare", 1256], ["stared", 1256], ["control", 1282], ["right", 1303], ["rightest", 1303], ["muscle", 1320], ["start", 1328], ["started", 1328], ["jaw", 1348], ["jaws", 1348], ["jawed", 1348], ["jawest", 1348], ["nostril", 1369], ["nostrils", 1369], ["flare", 1376], ["flared", 1376], ["roughly", 1390], ["exhale", 1398], ["exhaled", 1398], ["focus", 1409], ["hot", 1435], ["hard", 1444], ["burn", 1460], ["burns", 1460], ["dark", 1473], ["slowly", 1491], ["bring", 1499], ["brought", 1499], ["back", 1507], ["listen", 1539], ["listens", 1539], ["cuff", 1559], ["sweet", 1570], ["little", 1577], ["ass", 1581], ["bed", 1593], ["refuse", 1607], ["refusing", 1607], ["drawl", 1634], ["drawls", 1634], ["drawled", 1634], ["drawlest", 1634], ["anyway", 1662], ["deputy", 1671], ["always", 1686], ["bondage", 1717], ["realize", 1766], ["realized", 1766], ["move", 1780], ["moving", 1780], ["second", 1793], ["seconded", 1793], ["sat", 1808], ["sit", 1808], ["sitting", 1808], ["chair", 1821], ["chairing", 1821], ["across", 1828], ["room", 1837], ["roomed", 1837], ["next", 1855], ["trap", 1874], ["trapped", 1874], ["center", 1900], ["mattress", 1916], ["mattresses", 1916], ["hand", 1928], ["hands", 1928], ["manacle", 1938], ["manacles", 1938], ["manacling", 1938], ["delicate", 1951], ["wrist", 1958], ["wrists", 1958], ["eye", 1969], ["eyed", 1969], ["eyes", 1969], ["narrow", 1978], ["narrowed", 1978], ["stare", 1991], ["stared", 1991], ["triumphant", 2014], ["push", 2046], ["pushing", 2046], ["gaze", 2078], ["gazes", 2078], ["gazed", 2078], ["wide", 2098], ["flush", 2122], ["flushed", 2122], ["excitement", 2138], ["scott", 2167], ["get", 2187], ["good", 2219], ["keep", 2237], ["keepest", 2237], ["shove", 2257], ["shoved", 2257], ["knee", 2264], ["leg", 2281], ["legs", 2281], ["force", 2291], ["forcing", 2291], ["apart", 2302], ["press", 2316], ["pressed", 2316], ["crotch", 2335], ["pantie", 2350], ["panties", 2350], ["let", 2360], ["lets", 2360], ["letting", 2360], ["feel", 2369], ["thick", 2384], ["thickest", 2384], ["growl", 2413], ["growls", 2413], ["growled", 2413], ["lung", 2425], ["lungs", 2425], ["still", 2448], ["inside", 2463], ["instead", 2480], ["scare", 2491], ["scared", 2491], ["scaring", 2491], ["look", 2510], ["get", 2526], ["got", 2526], ["hot", 2533], ["soft", 2544], ["see", 2560], ["saw", 2560], ["like", 2587], ["liked", 2587], ["understand", 2629], ["understanded", 2629], ["understood", 2629], ["screw", 2641], ["screwing", 2641], ["screwed", 2641], ["emotion", 2653], ["emotions", 2653], ["well", 2665], ["wells", 2665], ["tone", 2696], ["toned", 2696], ["toning", 2696], ["snide", 2705], ["possible", 2717], ["really", 2733], ["think", 2739], ["thinkest", 2739], ["baby", 2762], ["girl", 2767], ["laugh", 2782], ["give", 2809], ["giving", 2809], ["chill", 2820], ["chills", 2820], ["chilling", 2820], ["maybe", 2831], ["question", 2844], ["whether", 2855], ["mean", 2895], ["meanest", 2895], ["young", 2910], ["youngest", 2910], ["mean", 2924], ["meanest", 2924], ["means", 2924], ["stamina", 2947], ["sure", 2963], ["hell", 2971], ["hells", 2971], ["afraid", 2982], ["dick", 2995], ["matter", 3013], ["mattering", 3013], ["big", 3021], ["bigs", 3021], ["shake", 3041], ["shook", 3041], ["head", 3050], ["glare", 3061], ["glared", 3061], ["damn", 3093], ["damned", 3093], ["young", 3099], ["youngest", 3099], ["life", 3123], ["lifes", 3123], ["need", 3147], ["needest", 3147], ["stay", 3155], ["stop", 3172], ["try", 3179], ["tryed", 3179], ["trying", 3179], ["pant", 3203], ["pants", 3203], ["laugh", 3220], ["laughed", 3220], ["hard", 3236], ["hug", 3246], ["hugging", 3246], ["slender", 3272], ["thigh", 3279], ["thighs", 3279], ["enjoy", 3341], ["enjoyed", 3341], ["enjoying", 3341], ["every", 3347], ["moment", 3354], ["say", 3407], ["sayest", 3407], ["snap", 3428], ["snapping", 3428], ["snapped", 3428], ["grip", 3439], ["gripping", 3439], ["shoulder", 3453], ["shouldered", 3453], ["shoulders", 3453], ["shake", 3465], ["shaking", 3465], ["say", 3510], ["sayest", 3510], ["said", 3510], ["softly", 3517], ["stare", 3527], ["stared", 3527], ["staring", 3527], ["faith", 3561], ["faiths", 3561], ["alive", 3589], ["long", 3597], ["longs", 3597], ["reckless", 3633], ["recklessest", 3633], ["come", 3658], ["odd", 3691], ["odds", 3691], ["favor", 3711], ["favorest", 3711], ["decide", 3734], ["decided", 3734], ["die", 3748], ["refuse", 3822], ["refused", 3822], ["left", 3831], ["leave", 3831], ["world", 3842], ["everything", 3872], ["fill", 3898], ["fills", 3898], ["beautiful", 3916], ["beautifulest", 3916], ["somehow", 3926], ["damage", 3934], ["damaging", 3934], ["damaged", 3934], ["thoroughly", 3947], ["exasperate", 3960], ["exasperating", 3960], ["man", 3964], ["mans", 3964], ["manned", 3964], ["touch", 4006], ["touching", 4006], ["lip", 4084], ["lipped", 4084], ["lips", 4084], ["blame", 4116], ["blamest", 4116], ["fail", 4132], ["good", 4181], ["best", 4181], ["shoot", 4186], ["shot", 4186], ["shooted", 4186], ["ta", 4209], ["realistic", 4222], ["rather", 4250], ["tell", 4255], ["know", 4313], ["knowest", 4313], ["knowing", 4313], ["take", 4380], ["taken", 4380], ["mouth", 4401], ["mouthed", 4401]]
what do i tell myself , who just heard the three magic words shes always wanted to hear , that mauricio is lying to her ? only you know what would make you listen , jeremiel said . he stepped back , giving her a little privacy . and her player of an ex-boyfriend who , even now , knowing what she did about him , still played her heartstrings like a fiddle . she put her hand on live-cassies shoulder . listen , cassie said to her live self . i know you just want to be loved . but mauricio ? hes got a long string of other girls in the stable . dont stick your fingers in your ears and pretend not to see the truth in front of your eyes . live-cassie turned and looked right at her , as if , just for a moment , she heard her . hey baby , mauricio said . i got ta drop you back at your car . my mom just texted me and said my little brother got in a fight . got ta go bail him outta trouble , if you know what i mean . live-cassie turned to mauricio , her eyes filled with trust . okay , live-cassie said . youll call me later ? sure i will , baby , mauricio said . you and me , we got our whole lives in front of us to he winked at her , you know . dead-cassie slapped her hand right onto the temple of live-cassies head . didnt you listen to a word i just said ? live-cassie shivered . something wrong , baby ? mauricio asked . nothing , live-cassie said . just a chill . mauricio started up the car and put it into gear . the car pulled away , leaving cassie sitting in the place where only moments before it had been parked . jeremiel stepped forward and extended his hand to help her up . it didnt make any difference , cassie said . if it was that easy , jeremiel said . there wouldnt be any problems in the universe now , would there ? tell us humans to wake up and smell the cappuccino when all we want to do is blunder along ? jeremiel plastered that unreadable expression back onto his face . the annoying one that communicated he didnt have an answer to that question . like i said , jeremiel said . im just here to clean up after the inmates that escape gehenna um hell . if an angel happens to help a human , its just i dont know . cassie stared up at the angel who had , every step of the way , made it clear he was less than pleased to be saddled with her . having just dealt with herself , she was beginning to see why . jeremiel , cassie said . i still dont see any light . and that loud noise ? its getting louder by the minute . it means we dont have a lot of time , jeremiel said . shut your eyes , kid . this trip is going to be a little nastier than the other two . with a flash of light , jeremiel pulled her into that place which existed between . chapter seven this time , he didnt just hold her hand , but pulled her into his chest and held her so tightly that , had she been alive , she probably would have suffocated . that howling noise shed noted earlier grew louder and louder until it felt as though icy shards dug into her flesh wherever she wasnt pressed against jeremiel for protection . just as quickly it was over . jeremiel released her , stepping back to put an arms distance between them so her face wasnt plastered into his pectoral muscles . cassie gasped for breath even though she technically no longer needed to breathe . she looked around and recognized she was back at her house . her present house . the crappy one-bedroom basement apartment which was all her mother could afford , the one where they could hear the family that lived upstairs walking around and arguing all hours of the day and night . her mother sat on the floor wrapped in a snuggli , a glass of jack daniels on the rocks in one hand , a pair of scissors in the other , humming an out-of-tune christmas carol to herself as she cut a roll of green wrapping paper with reindeer on it to fit around a snowman cookie jar . the entire house smelled of cookies , snicker doodles by the scent of it , and a small plate beside her filled with half-eaten cookie crumbs . at least shes happy , cassie said . from the way she sounded when i hung up on her , id have expected shed be in the bathroom slitting her wrists . is that what you would have done ? he wore that blank expression again , the one he used to hide his real feelings . thats none of your business , cassie said . she glanced at her wrists , hidden under a half-dozen braided friendship bracelets .	[["tell", 14], ["hear", 38], ["hears", 38], ["heard", 38], ["three", 48], ["magic", 54], ["word", 60], ["words", 60], ["always", 72], ["hear", 87], ["hears", 87], ["lay", 112], ["lie", 112], ["lain", 112], ["lying", 112], ["know", 135], ["knowest", 135], ["listen", 162], ["listens", 162], ["say", 178], ["sayest", 178], ["said", 178], ["step", 191], ["stepped", 191], ["back", 196], ["give", 205], ["giving", 205], ["little", 218], ["privacy", 226], ["ex", 252], ["exes", 252], ["boyfriend", 262], ["even", 273], ["evens", 273], ["know", 287], ["knowest", 287], ["knowing", 287], ["still", 318], ["play", 325], ["playest", 325], ["played", 325], ["heartstring", 342], ["heartstrings", 342], ["like", 347], ["fiddle", 356], ["fiddling", 356], ["put", 366], ["hand", 375], ["live", 383], ["cassie", 391], ["shoulder", 400], ["shouldered", 400], ["cassie", 418], ["self", 440], ["love", 475], ["loved", 475], ["get", 500], ["got", 500], ["long", 507], ["longs", 507], ["strung", 514], ["string", 514], ["strings", 514], ["girl", 529], ["girls", 529], ["stable", 543], ["stick", 556], ["stickest", 556], ["finger", 569], ["fingers", 569], ["ear", 582], ["ears", 582], ["pretend", 594], ["pretendest", 594], ["see", 605], ["truth", 615], ["front", 624], ["eye", 637], ["eyed", 637], ["eyes", 637], ["turn", 658], ["turned", 658], ["look", 669], ["looked", 669], ["right", 675], ["rightest", 675], ["moment", 710], ["hey", 732], ["baby", 737], ["ta", 764], ["drop", 769], ["car", 790], ["mom", 799], ["moms", 799], ["texted", 811], ["texting", 811], ["brother", 841], ["brethren", 841], ["fight", 856], ["fightest", 856], ["go", 868], ["goest", 868], ["bail", 873], ["bails", 873], ["bailing", 873], ["outta", 883], ["trouble", 891], ["troubling", 891], ["mean", 917], ["meanest", 917], ["fill", 968], ["fills", 968], ["filled", 968], ["trust", 979], ["okay", 986], ["call", 1018], ["later", 1027], ["sure", 1034], ["whole", 1096], ["wholes", 1096], ["life", 1102], ["lifes", 1102], ["lives", 1102], ["wink", 1130], ["winks", 1130], ["winkest", 1130], ["winked", 1130], ["dead", 1155], ["slap", 1170], ["slaps", 1170], ["slapped", 1170], ["onto", 1190], ["ontos", 1190], ["temple", 1201], ["head", 1222], ["word", 1251], ["shiver", 1286], ["shivering", 1286], ["shivered", 1286], ["wrong", 1304], ["ask", 1328], ["asked", 1328], ["nothing", 1338], ["chill", 1372], ["chills", 1372], ["chilling", 1372], ["start", 1391], ["started", 1391], ["gear", 1423], ["pull", 1440], ["pulled", 1440], ["away", 1445], ["left", 1455], ["leave", 1455], ["leaving", 1455], ["sat", 1470], ["sit", 1470], ["sitting", 1470], ["place", 1483], ["moment", 1502], ["moments", 1502], ["park", 1528], ["parks", 1528], ["parked", 1528], ["forward", 1555], ["forwardest", 1555], ["forwarding", 1555], ["extend", 1568], ["extended", 1568], ["help", 1585], ["helpest", 1585], ["difference", 1623], ["easy", 1659], ["problem", 1707], ["problems", 1707], ["universe", 1723], ["universes", 1723], ["human", 1758], ["humans", 1758], ["wake", 1766], ["wakes", 1766], ["woken", 1766], ["smell", 1779], ["smelt", 1779], ["smellest", 1779], ["cappuccino", 1794], ["blunder", 1828], ["along", 1834], ["plaster", 1855], ["plastering", 1855], ["plastered", 1855], ["unreadable", 1871], ["expression", 1882], ["face", 1901], ["annoying", 1916], ["communicate", 1938], ["communicates", 1938], ["communicated", 1938], ["answer", 1962], ["answeres", 1962], ["answerest", 1962], ["question", 1979], ["clean", 2033], ["cleans", 2033], ["inmate", 2054], ["inmates", 2054], ["escape", 2066], ["escapes", 2066], ["gehenna", 2074], ["um", 2077], ["hell", 2082], ["hells", 2082], ["angel", 2096], ["happen", 2104], ["happens", 2104], ["human", 2120], ["stare", 2159], ["stared", 2159], ["every", 2191], ["step", 2196], ["way", 2207], ["ways", 2207], ["clear", 2223], ["clearest", 2223], ["less", 2235], ["pleased", 2248], ["saddle", 2262], ["saddled", 2262], ["deal", 2291], ["dealt", 2291], ["begin", 2324], ["beginning", 2324], ["lit", 2389], ["light", 2389], ["loud", 2405], ["noise", 2411], ["get", 2425], ["getting", 2425], ["minute", 2446], ["mean", 2457], ["meanest", 2457], ["means", 2457], ["lot", 2476], ["time", 2484], ["shut", 2507], ["kid", 2523], ["trip", 2535], ["tripping", 2535], ["go", 2544], ["goest", 2544], ["going", 2544], ["nasty", 2567], ["two", 2586], ["twos", 2586], ["flash", 2601], ["exist", 2662], ["existest", 2662], ["existed", 2662], ["chapter", 2680], ["seven", 2686], ["hold", 2717], ["chest", 2758], ["hold", 2767], ["held", 2767], ["tightly", 2782], ["alive", 2808], ["probably", 2823], ["suffocate", 2845], ["suffocated", 2845], ["howl", 2860], ["howls", 2860], ["howlest", 2860], ["howling", 2860], ["shed", 2871], ["note", 2877], ["noted", 2877], ["early", 2885], ["grow", 2890], ["growest", 2890], ["grew", 2890], ["feel", 2922], ["felt", 2922], ["though", 2932], ["icy", 2936], ["shard", 2943], ["shards", 2943], ["dug", 2947], ["dig", 2947], ["digs", 2947], ["digest", 2947], ["flesh", 2962], ["fleshest", 2962], ["wherever", 2971], ["press", 2989], ["pressed", 2989], ["protection", 3021], ["quickly", 3039], ["release", 3071], ["released", 3071], ["step", 3086], ["stepping", 3086], ["arm", 3106], ["arms", 3106], ["distance", 3115], ["distancing", 3115], ["pectoral", 3174], ["muscle", 3182], ["muscles", 3182], ["gasp", 3198], ["gasps", 3198], ["gasped", 3198], ["breath", 3209], ["breathest", 3209], ["technically", 3237], ["long", 3247], ["longs", 3247], ["need", 3254], ["needest", 3254], ["needed", 3254], ["breathes", 3265], ["around", 3285], ["recognize", 3300], ["recognized", 3300], ["house", 3326], ["present", 3340], ["presentest", 3340], ["crappy", 3359], ["bedroom", 3371], ["basement", 3380], ["apartment", 3390], ["mother", 3415], ["mothered", 3415], ["motherest", 3415], ["afford", 3428], ["family", 3471], ["live", 3482], ["lived", 3482], ["upstairs", 3491], ["walk", 3499], ["walking", 3499], ["argue", 3518], ["arguing", 3518], ["hour", 3528], ["hours", 3528], ["day", 3539], ["night", 3549], ["sat", 3566], ["sit", 3566], ["floor", 3579], ["wrap", 3587], ["wraps", 3587], ["wrapping", 3587], ["wrapped", 3587], ["glass", 3610], ["jack", 3618], ["jacks", 3618], ["jacked", 3618], ["daniel", 3626], ["daniels", 3626], ["rock", 3639], ["rocks", 3639], ["pair", 3660], ["pairs", 3660], ["scissor", 3672], ["scissoring", 3672], ["scissors", 3672], ["hum", 3695], ["hummed", 3695], ["humming", 3695], ["tune", 3710], ["tuning", 3710], ["carol", 3726], ["caroling", 3726], ["carolling", 3726], ["cut", 3748], ["roll", 3755], ["green", 3764], ["greens", 3764], ["wrappings", 3773], ["paper", 3779], ["reindeer", 3793], ["fit", 3806], ["fitting", 3806], ["snowman", 3823], ["cookie", 3830], ["cookied", 3830], ["jar", 3834], ["jared", 3834], ["jarred", 3834], ["jarring", 3834], ["entire", 3847], ["smell", 3861], ["smelt", 3861], ["smellest", 3861], ["smelled", 3861], ["cookie", 3872], ["cookied", 3872], ["cookies", 3872], ["snicker", 3882], ["doodle", 3890], ["doodles", 3890], ["scent", 3903], ["scentest", 3903], ["small", 3923], ["plate", 3929], ["plating", 3929], ["beside", 3936], ["half", 3957], ["eat", 3963], ["eaten", 3963], ["crumb", 3977], ["crumbed", 3977], ["crumbest", 3977], ["crumbs", 3977], ["least", 3988], ["leastest", 3988], ["happy", 3999], ["sound", 4040], ["sounded", 4040], ["hung", 4052], ["hang", 4052], ["hangs", 4052], ["expect", 4081], ["expected", 4081], ["bathroom", 4105], ["slit", 4114], ["slitting", 4114], ["wrist", 4125], ["wrists", 4125], ["wear", 4170], ["wore", 4170], ["blank", 4181], ["blanks", 4181], ["use", 4216], ["used", 4216], ["hide", 4224], ["hides", 4224], ["reis", 4233], ["real", 4233], ["feeling", 4242], ["feelings", 4242], ["none", 4255], ["business", 4272], ["glance", 4300], ["glanced", 4300], ["hide", 4323], ["hides", 4323], ["hidden", 4323], ["dozen", 4342], ["braid", 4350], ["braided", 4350], ["friendship", 4361], ["bracelet", 4371], ["bracelets", 4371]]
its neil shook his head . easier to show you . but once they reached the apartment , neil vanished into his bedchamber . sensing it was better to let him be , robin retired to the other chamber , now shadowy , too quiet , and not familiar enough to be comfortable . still , it was as close to home as could be found . if neils roommates returned , he expected he would be hastily removed to an even more alien shelter . he didnt relish that thought . tired , he took off his suit and put on the nightclothes neil had lent him . but once in bed , he could not yield to sleep . every sound , near or distant , demanded interpretation . the one that kept coming to mind suggested neil was as sleepless as he . rising , robin drew on a dressing gown and crept across the parlor to neils door . low sounds from within were of the impersonal quality hed observed each time neil lit the wall canvas to hear a recitation of the days news . neil was no doubt hoping for some word on the search for joe . robin tapped at the door and a voice betraying not the slightest surprise called out , its open . taking that for an invitation , robin peeked in . on the smaller canvas above a chest of drawers opposite , a reading of the news was in progress . neil , cross-legged on the bed , swung a quizzical glance in his direction . it occurred to robin he had no excuse for the interruption , other than concern , and he wasnt sure that would be well received . might i borrow your clothes brush ? neil broke into a soft laugh . remind me to add advances in dry cleaning to the list of things to go over later . he gave the rumpled blankets a pat and turned his attention back to the metallic case robin had seen earlier , propped open and aglow with what looked like a map of manhattan . neil tapped a number of buttons in quick succession and the view dropped dizzyingly into the city , to halt some distance above the bowery rooftops . embarrassed by the gasp that escaped him , robin still couldnt keep from leaning for a closer look . neil appeared to think it over . youll have to swear you wont tell another soul about it . the view retreated skyward and robin was hard-pressed to contain another gasp . further he went , up and up , until the world was a cloud-draped blue and green ball sitting , small and lonely , in the dark . dear god , he whispered . neil sounded wistful , despite a trace of amusement . all weve got . the lightning rods are right where you said . the view tumbled back to manhattan , landing neatly on the bowery . you can just see a few of them jutting above the roofline . im not so sure about the balloon idea , because the wind and rain will send it all over the place or straight back down before it ever gets high enough to be any use . if weve got a storm brewing and can somehow get a balloon up before the rain starts ... but i think we should get all the necessary parts ready to go , in case the weather refuses to cooperate . how long will the police haunt the bowery ? a few days , minimum . theyll poke around , question people , maybe even show up here when they find out about susans battles with joe . the gaze neil fixed on him was thoughtful , assessing . the police will laugh off that story in victors will , but once they find the photo on joes computer , they can recognize you . ill have to stash you somewhere for safekeeping ... a hotels risky . staying with neighbors , thats a possibility , but youd have to be cautious and sensible . not exactly your strong points , from what ive seen . i could lodge with a friend , robin ventured . you do have some ? grudging good humor curled the corner of neils mouth . one or two , and id like to keep them . the hotels a safer alternative . you might still have to evade the police , but i have a sneaking suspicion youve been honing that skill for a while . startled , robin met a knowing stare , and just as quickly looked away . i cant say im any more skilled at it than the next fellow . i think that depends on whether hes keeping the same secrets . neils tone had turned oddly gentle . uneasy , robin rose . i should leave you to your work . ill say good night . avoiding the gaze he could feel pinned so relentlessly on him , he made it as far as the doorway before neil spoke . you have no one to go home to . the bald statement brought him to a halt . ive no familywell , none that will note my absence . i was six years of age when my mother died , seven when my father was killed at chancellorsville .	[["neil", 8], ["shake", 14], ["shook", 14], ["head", 23], ["easy", 32], ["easier", 32], ["show", 40], ["reach", 68], ["reached", 68], ["apartment", 82], ["vanish", 98], ["vanishest", 98], ["vanished", 98], ["bedchamber", 118], ["sense", 128], ["sensing", 128], ["well", 142], ["wells", 142], ["let", 149], ["lets", 149], ["robin", 164], ["robins", 164], ["retire", 172], ["retired", 172], ["chamber", 193], ["shadowy", 207], ["quiet", 219], ["familiar", 238], ["enough", 245], ["comfortable", 263], ["still", 271], ["close", 289], ["home", 297], ["homing", 297], ["find", 315], ["found", 315], ["neil", 326], ["roommate", 336], ["roommates", 336], ["return", 345], ["returnest", 345], ["returned", 345], ["expect", 359], ["expected", 359], ["hastily", 379], ["remove", 387], ["removed", 387], ["even", 398], ["evens", 398], ["alien", 409], ["shelter", 417], ["relish", 435], ["thought", 448], ["tired", 456], ["take", 466], ["took", 466], ["suit", 479], ["suited", 479], ["put", 487], ["nightclothed", 507], ["nightclothes", 507], ["lend", 521], ["lent", 521], ["bed", 543], ["yield", 564], ["yieldest", 564], ["slept", 573], ["sleep", 573], ["sleeps", 573], ["sleepest", 573], ["every", 581], ["sound", 587], ["near", 594], ["distant", 605], ["demand", 616], ["demandest", 616], ["demanded", 616], ["interpretation", 631], ["keep", 651], ["keepest", 651], ["kept", 651], ["come", 658], ["coming", 658], ["mind", 666], ["minding", 666], ["suggest", 676], ["suggested", 676], ["sleepless", 698], ["rise", 713], ["risen", 713], ["rising", 713], ["draw", 726], ["draws", 726], ["drawn", 726], ["drew", 726], ["dress", 740], ["dressest", 740], ["dressing", 740], ["gown", 745], ["gowns", 745], ["gowning", 745], ["creep", 755], ["creeps", 755], ["creeped", 755], ["crept", 755], ["across", 762], ["parlor", 773], ["door", 787], ["low", 793], ["lowed", 793], ["sound", 800], ["sounds", 800], ["within", 812], ["impersonal", 835], ["quality", 843], ["observe", 856], ["observed", 856], ["time", 866], ["lit", 875], ["light", 875], ["wall", 884], ["canvas", 891], ["hear", 899], ["hears", 899], ["recitation", 912], ["day", 924], ["days", 924], ["news", 929], ["newses", 929], ["doubt", 949], ["hope", 956], ["hoping", 956], ["word", 970], ["search", 984], ["joe", 992], ["joes", 992], ["tap", 1007], ["tapped", 1007], ["voice", 1031], ["betray", 1041], ["betrayed", 1041], ["betraying", 1041], ["slight", 1059], ["slightest", 1059], ["surprise", 1068], ["surprised", 1068], ["call", 1075], ["called", 1075], ["open", 1090], ["take", 1099], ["taking", 1099], ["invitation", 1122], ["peek", 1137], ["peeks", 1137], ["peeked", 1137], ["small", 1157], ["chest", 1178], ["drawers", 1189], ["opposite", 1198], ["progress", 1238], ["cross", 1253], ["crossing", 1253], ["swing", 1279], ["swung", 1279], ["quizzical", 1291], ["glance", 1298], ["direction", 1315], ["occur", 1329], ["occurest", 1329], ["occurred", 1329], ["excuse", 1355], ["interruption", 1376], ["concern", 1397], ["concerned", 1397], ["concernest", 1397], ["sure", 1417], ["well", 1436], ["wells", 1436], ["receive", 1445], ["received", 1445], ["may", 1453], ["mays", 1453], ["mayest", 1453], ["might", 1453], ["borrow", 1462], ["borrowest", 1462], ["clad", 1475], ["clothe", 1475], ["clothes", 1475], ["brush", 1481], ["brushest", 1481], ["break", 1494], ["broke", 1494], ["soft", 1506], ["laugh", 1512], ["remind", 1521], ["add", 1531], ["advance", 1540], ["advancest", 1540], ["advances", 1540], ["dry", 1547], ["drier", 1547], ["drying", 1547], ["cleaning", 1556], ["list", 1568], ["thing", 1578], ["things", 1578], ["go", 1584], ["goest", 1584], ["later", 1595], ["give", 1605], ["gave", 1605], ["blanket", 1626], ["blankets", 1626], ["pat", 1632], ["turn", 1643], ["turned", 1643], ["attention", 1657], ["back", 1662], ["metallic", 1678], ["case", 1683], ["see", 1698], ["seen", 1698], ["early", 1706], ["prop", 1716], ["propped", 1716], ["aglow", 1731], ["look", 1748], ["looked", 1748], ["like", 1753], ["map", 1759], ["mapped", 1759], ["manhattan", 1772], ["manhattans", 1772], ["number", 1795], ["numbering", 1795], ["button", 1806], ["buttoning", 1806], ["buttons", 1806], ["quick", 1815], ["succession", 1826], ["view", 1839], ["viewest", 1839], ["drop", 1847], ["dropped", 1847], ["dizzyingly", 1858], ["city", 1872], ["halt", 1882], ["halts", 1882], ["haltest", 1882], ["distance", 1896], ["distancing", 1896], ["bowery", 1913], ["rooftop", 1922], ["rooftops", 1922], ["embarrass", 1936], ["embarrassed", 1936], ["gasp", 1948], ["gasps", 1948], ["escape", 1961], ["escapes", 1961], ["escaped", 1961], ["keep", 1992], ["keepest", 1992], ["lean", 2005], ["leans", 2005], ["leaning", 2005], ["close", 2018], ["closer", 2018], ["look", 2023], ["appear", 2039], ["appeared", 2039], ["think", 2048], ["thinkest", 2048], ["swear", 2078], ["sweared", 2078], ["tell", 2092], ["another", 2100], ["soul", 2105], ["retreat", 2135], ["retreatest", 2135], ["retreated", 2135], ["skyward", 2143], ["hard", 2162], ["press", 2170], ["pressed", 2170], ["contain", 2181], ["containest", 2181], ["go", 2212], ["goest", 2212], ["went", 2212], ["world", 2242], ["cloud", 2254], ["clouded", 2254], ["drape", 2261], ["drapes", 2261], ["draped", 2261], ["blue", 2266], ["green", 2276], ["greens", 2276], ["ball", 2281], ["sittings", 2289], ["small", 2297], ["lonely", 2308], ["dark", 2322], ["dear", 2329], ["dearest", 2329], ["god", 2333], ["whisper", 2348], ["whispered", 2348], ["sound", 2363], ["sounded", 2363], ["wistful", 2371], ["despite", 2381], ["trace", 2389], ["amusement", 2402], ["get", 2417], ["got", 2417], ["lightning", 2433], ["rod", 2438], ["rods", 2438], ["right", 2448], ["rightest", 2448], ["say", 2463], ["sayest", 2463], ["said", 2463], ["tumble", 2482], ["tumbled", 2482], ["land", 2510], ["neatly", 2517], ["see", 2550], ["jut", 2572], ["jutting", 2572], ["roofline", 2591], ["balloon", 2626], ["idea", 2631], ["wind", 2650], ["rain", 2659], ["send", 2669], ["place", 2691], ["straight", 2703], ["ever", 2728], ["everest", 2728], ["get", 2733], ["gets", 2733], ["high", 2738], ["use", 2759], ["storm", 2781], ["brewing", 2789], ["somehow", 2805], ["get", 2809], ["start", 2845], ["starts", 2845], ["necessary", 2893], ["part", 2899], ["parting", 2899], ["parts", 2899], ["ready", 2905], ["weather", 2933], ["refuse", 2941], ["refuses", 2941], ["cooperate", 2954], ["long", 2965], ["longs", 2965], ["police", 2981], ["haunt", 2987], ["haunted", 2987], ["hauntest", 2987], ["haunting", 2987], ["minimum", 3021], ["poke", 3035], ["around", 3042], ["question", 3053], ["people", 3060], ["maybe", 3068], ["find", 3101], ["battle", 3126], ["battles", 3126], ["gaze", 3146], ["gazes", 3146], ["fix", 3157], ["fixes", 3157], ["fixed", 3157], ["thoughtful", 3179], ["assess", 3191], ["assessing", 3191], ["story", 3230], ["victor", 3241], ["photo", 3277], ["joe", 3285], ["joes", 3285], ["computer", 3294], ["recognize", 3315], ["ill", 3325], ["ills", 3325], ["illest", 3325], ["stash", 3339], ["somewhere", 3353], ["safekeeping", 3369], ["hotel", 3382], ["hotels", 3382], ["risky", 3388], ["stay", 3398], ["staying", 3398], ["neighbor", 3413], ["neighbors", 3413], ["possibility", 3435], ["cautious", 3466], ["sensible", 3479], ["exactly", 3493], ["strong", 3505], ["point", 3512], ["points", 3512], ["lodge", 3549], ["friend", 3563], ["venture", 3580], ["ventured", 3580], ["grudge", 3610], ["grudging", 3610], ["good", 3615], ["humor", 3621], ["humors", 3621], ["humorest", 3621], ["curl", 3628], ["curls", 3628], ["curled", 3628], ["corner", 3639], ["mouth", 3654], ["mouthed", 3654], ["two", 3667], ["twos", 3667], ["safe", 3715], ["safes", 3715], ["safed", 3715], ["safer", 3715], ["alternative", 3727], ["evade", 3759], ["sneak", 3794], ["sneakest", 3794], ["sneaking", 3794], ["suspicion", 3804], ["hone", 3822], ["honed", 3822], ["honing", 3822], ["skill", 3833], ["meet", 3868], ["meeted", 3868], ["met", 3868], ["know", 3878], ["knowest", 3878], ["knowing", 3878], ["stare", 3884], ["stared", 3884], ["quickly", 3906], ["away", 3918], ["say", 3931], ["sayest", 3931], ["skilled", 3951], ["next", 3971], ["fellow", 3978], ["depend", 4001], ["depends", 4001], ["whether", 4012], ["keep", 4024], ["keepest", 4024], ["keeping", 4024], ["secret", 4041], ["secrets", 4041], ["tone", 4054], ["toned", 4054], ["toning", 4054], ["oddly", 4071], ["gentle", 4078], ["gentler", 4078], ["uneasy", 4087], ["rise", 4100], ["risen", 4100], ["rose", 4100], ["left", 4117], ["leave", 4117], ["work", 4134], ["wrought", 4134], ["night", 4155], ["avoid", 4166], ["avoiding", 4166], ["feel", 4189], ["pin", 4196], ["pinned", 4196], ["relentlessly", 4212], ["far", 4239], ["doorway", 4254], ["speak", 4272], ["spoken", 4272], ["spoke", 4272], ["bald", 4315], ["balds", 4315], ["balded", 4315], ["balding", 4315], ["statement", 4325], ["bring", 4333], ["brought", 4333], ["none", 4374], ["note", 4389], ["absence", 4400], ["six", 4412], ["year", 4418], ["years", 4418], ["age", 4425], ["aged", 4425], ["mother", 4440], ["mothered", 4440], ["motherest", 4440], ["die", 4445], ["died", 4445], ["seven", 4453], ["father", 4468], ["fathered", 4468], ["fathering", 4468], ["kill", 4479], ["killed", 4479], ["chancellorsville", 4499]]
not just sexual intimacy , but the tiny things like sharing the bathroom mirror when they were in a rush to get ready for work , trading sections of the newspaper on sunday mornings , having someone to rub the strain from her neck and shoulders after a hard day . suddenly she did n't want to be away from him a moment longer than necessary . she splashed cold water over her face , combed her hair and pulled it back with a clasp on each side , and swiftly changed into jeans and an oversize white shirt . she rolled the sleeves up as she returned to the kitchen . the bacon was frying when she entered the room , and she sniffed in deep appreciation . rome was rummaging in her cabinets , and he emerged with a box of instant pancake mix . `` pancakesand eggs , '' he announced . `` silver-dollar pancakes . '' she shrugged and went along with him , not certain that her appetite was healthy enough for pancakes as well , but his probably was . while he was mixing the batter , she set the table , poured the orange juice , and got out the eggs . `` we 'll have to find a new apartment , '' he said casually . `` neither of ours is large enough to hold all our things . '' thinking to spare him the necessity of spelling out to her that he would n't be sleeping with her , she said ca-sually , `` i 'd like to have a three-bedroom apartment , if we can find one at a reasonable price . it would be nice to have an extra bedroom in case anyone came to visit . '' he went curiously still , but his back was to her and she could n't see his expression . to let him know that she was n't going to dwell on the subject , she said just as casually , `` i 'll have to quit my job . '' his head jerked around , his dark eyes incredulous . `` well , i will . '' `` i ca n't work at spencer-nyle if i 'm going to be married to you . it 's unprofessional , and i do n't think it would work very well , even if mr. ed-wards agreed . '' his jaw set grimly . i ca n't ask you to quit your job for me . i know how much it means to you - `` `` you do n't know anything , '' she interrupted . `` i was think-ing of quitting anyway . '' it was time rome matthews began learning a little about the woman he planned to marry , and the first lesson was to begin breaking it to him , gradually , that she was n't a dedicated , high-powered businesswoman who got the greatest satisfaction of her life from her job . `` it 's just a job , '' she said deliberately . `` i like it , and i 've done my best at it be-cause i do n't believe in only half doing something , not because i 'm devoted to it . i 'd begun thinking of quitting , as i said . after last night , i did n't see how i could go on working with you . '' `` you 'd quit just be-cause we had sex ? '' `` i did n't think i could keep things professional between us at work . '' `` look , i could arrange something - `` `` no , '' she said mildly , not giving him time to finish . `` i 'm not planning to sit on my rear and let you support me , if that 's what you 're worried about . i 've worked too hard to settle into a routine of soap operas , and i would n't have anything else to occupy my time . i 'll get another job . '' `` that 's not it , '' he growled angrily . `` i 'm well able to sup-port you even if you wanted to sit on your rear for three life-times . i just hate the thought of you giving up your job because of me . '' `` it 's the only reasonable thing to do . i 'm notthat attached to it , and you 're an executive ; i 'm not . '' `` you 'll look for another secretarial job ? '' thoughtfully she broke an egg into the skil-let . `` i have some money saved up ; i might go into some sort of business for myself . i could open a dress shop , like every lady of leisure with money and time on her hands does . '' `` whatever you want , as long as it 's whatyou really want . if you want to stay at spencer-nyle , i 'll throw my weight around . '' `` i really think i 'll be happier out of the office routine . i 've done it for a long time now , and i 'm ready for a change . '' after a moment , he chuckled wickedly . `` this is really going to drive max crazy . '' laughing helplessly at him , she shook her head . `` what a fiendish thought ! did you ask me to marry you just so you could force max to get a new secretary ? '' `` no , but it serves him right . '' `` i like him a lot . he 's a hell of an executive .	[["sexual", 15], ["intimacy", 24], ["intimacies", 24], ["tiny", 39], ["thing", 46], ["things", 46], ["like", 51], ["share", 59], ["bathroom", 72], ["mirror", 79], ["rush", 104], ["get", 111], ["ready", 117], ["work", 126], ["wrought", 126], ["trading", 136], ["section", 145], ["sectioning", 145], ["sections", 145], ["newspaper", 162], ["sunday", 172], ["sundays", 172], ["morning", 181], ["mornings", 181], ["rub", 205], ["strain", 216], ["strains", 216], ["neck", 230], ["necked", 230], ["shoulder", 244], ["shouldered", 244], ["shoulders", 244], ["hard", 257], ["day", 261], ["suddenly", 272], ["away", 300], ["moment", 318], ["long", 325], ["longs", 325], ["necessary", 340], ["splash", 355], ["splashed", 355], ["cold", 360], ["water", 366], ["face", 380], ["comb", 389], ["combed", 389], ["hair", 398], ["pull", 409], ["pulled", 409], ["back", 417], ["clasp", 430], ["clasped", 430], ["side", 443], ["sidest", 443], ["swiftly", 457], ["change", 465], ["changed", 465], ["jean", 476], ["jeans", 476], ["oversize", 492], ["oversized", 492], ["white", 498], ["shirt", 504], ["roll", 517], ["rolled", 517], ["sleeve", 529], ["sleeving", 529], ["sleeves", 529], ["return", 548], ["returnest", 548], ["returned", 548], ["kitchen", 563], ["kitchens", 563], ["bacon", 575], ["fry", 586], ["frying", 586], ["enter", 603], ["entered", 603], ["room", 612], ["roomed", 612], ["sniff", 630], ["sniffed", 630], ["deep", 638], ["deeply", 638], ["appreciation", 651], ["rome", 658], ["rummage", 672], ["rummaging", 672], ["cabinet", 688], ["cabinets", 688], ["emerge", 705], ["emerged", 705], ["box", 716], ["boxed", 716], ["instant", 727], ["pancake", 735], ["mix", 739], ["mixed", 739], ["egg", 761], ["egging", 761], ["eggs", 761], ["announce", 779], ["announced", 779], ["silver", 791], ["silvered", 791], ["dollar", 798], ["pancake", 807], ["pancakes", 807], ["shrug", 825], ["shrugging", 825], ["shrugged", 825], ["go", 834], ["goest", 834], ["went", 834], ["along", 840], ["certain", 863], ["appetite", 881], ["appetites", 881], ["healthy", 893], ["enough", 900], ["well", 921], ["wells", 921], ["probably", 940], ["mix", 966], ["mixed", 966], ["mixing", 966], ["batter", 977], ["set", 987], ["table", 997], ["tabled", 997], ["tabling", 997], ["pour", 1006], ["poured", 1006], ["orange", 1017], ["juice", 1023], ["juicing", 1023], ["get", 1033], ["got", 1033], ["find", 1071], ["new", 1077], ["apartment", 1087], ["say", 1100], ["sayest", 1100], ["said", 1100], ["casually", 1109], ["neither", 1122], ["large", 1139], ["hold", 1154], ["think", 1183], ["thinkest", 1183], ["thinking", 1183], ["spare", 1192], ["necessity", 1210], ["spelt", 1222], ["spell", 1222], ["slept", 1263], ["sleep", 1263], ["sleeps", 1263], ["sleepest", 1263], ["sleeping", 1263], ["ca", 1286], ["cas", 1286], ["three", 1324], ["bedroom", 1332], ["reasonable", 1379], ["price", 1385], ["nice", 1404], ["extra", 1421], ["extras", 1421], ["anyone", 1444], ["come", 1449], ["came", 1449], ["visit", 1458], ["curiously", 1481], ["still", 1487], ["see", 1535], ["expression", 1550], ["let", 1559], ["lets", 1559], ["know", 1568], ["knowest", 1568], ["go", 1591], ["goest", 1591], ["going", 1591], ["dwell", 1600], ["dwelling", 1600], ["dwellest", 1600], ["subject", 1615], ["subjectest", 1615], ["quit", 1667], ["quits", 1667], ["quitting", 1667], ["job", 1674], ["jobbing", 1674], ["head", 1688], ["jerk", 1695], ["jerks", 1695], ["jerked", 1695], ["around", 1702], ["dark", 1713], ["eye", 1718], ["eyed", 1718], ["eyes", 1718], ["incredulous", 1730], ["spencer", 1782], ["married", 1815], ["unprofessional", 1845], ["think", 1866], ["thinkest", 1866], ["even", 1897], ["evens", 1897], ["mr", 1903], ["ed", 1907], ["agree", 1920], ["agreed", 1920], ["jaw", 1933], ["jaws", 1933], ["jawed", 1933], ["jawest", 1933], ["grimly", 1944], ["ask", 1959], ["much", 2005], ["mean", 2014], ["meanest", 2014], ["means", 2014], ["anything", 2054], ["interrupt", 2075], ["interruptest", 2075], ["interrupted", 2075], ["ing", 2096], ["anyway", 2115], ["time", 2132], ["begin", 2152], ["began", 2152], ["learn", 2161], ["learnt", 2161], ["learns", 2161], ["learning", 2161], ["little", 2170], ["woman", 2186], ["womans", 2186], ["plan", 2197], ["planned", 2197], ["marry", 2206], ["married", 2206], ["first", 2222], ["firstest", 2222], ["lesson", 2229], ["begin", 2242], ["break", 2251], ["broke", 2251], ["breaking", 2251], ["gradually", 2273], ["high", 2311], ["power", 2319], ["powered", 2319], ["businesswomen", 2333], ["businesswoman", 2333], ["great", 2354], ["greatest", 2354], ["satisfaction", 2367], ["life", 2379], ["lifes", 2379], ["deliberately", 2441], ["good", 2481], ["best", 2481], ["cause", 2496], ["believe", 2513], ["half", 2526], ["devote", 2569], ["devoted", 2569], ["begin", 2588], ["begun", 2588], ["last", 2634], ["night", 2640], ["go", 2671], ["goest", 2671], ["work", 2682], ["wrought", 2682], ["working", 2682], ["sex", 2736], ["keep", 2773], ["keepest", 2773], ["professional", 2793], ["look", 2825], ["arrange", 2843], ["arranging", 2843], ["mildly", 2885], ["give", 2898], ["giving", 2898], ["finish", 2917], ["plan", 2940], ["sat", 2947], ["sit", 2947], ["rear", 2958], ["support", 2978], ["work", 3036], ["wrought", 3036], ["worked", 3036], ["settle", 3055], ["routine", 3070], ["routined", 3070], ["soap", 3078], ["soaps", 3078], ["opera", 3085], ["operas", 3085], ["else", 3122], ["occupy", 3132], ["another", 3160], ["growl", 3203], ["growls", 3203], ["growled", 3203], ["angrily", 3211], ["able", 3231], ["abled", 3231], ["sup", 3238], ["sups", 3238], ["port", 3243], ["time", 3307], ["times", 3307], ["hate", 3321], ["hateed", 3321], ["thought", 3333], ["thing", 3413], ["attach", 3443], ["attached", 3443], ["executive", 3476], ["secretarial", 3532], ["thoughtfully", 3554], ["break", 3564], ["broke", 3564], ["egg", 3571], ["egging", 3571], ["skil", 3585], ["money", 3612], ["moneys", 3612], ["save", 3618], ["saved", 3618], ["may", 3631], ["mays", 3631], ["mayest", 3631], ["might", 3631], ["sort", 3649], ["business", 3661], ["open", 3687], ["dress", 3695], ["dressest", 3695], ["shop", 3700], ["every", 3713], ["lady", 3718], ["leisure", 3729], ["hand", 3762], ["hands", 3762], ["whatever", 3784], ["long", 3803], ["longs", 3803], ["really", 3827], ["stay", 3854], ["throw", 3884], ["weight", 3894], ["weighted", 3894], ["weightest", 3894], ["happy", 3941], ["happier", 3941], ["office", 3959], ["change", 4033], ["chuckle", 4067], ["chuckled", 4067], ["wickedly", 4076], ["drive", 4111], ["max", 4115], ["crazy", 4121], ["laugh", 4135], ["laughing", 4135], ["helplessly", 4146], ["shake", 4165], ["shook", 4165], ["fiendish", 4195], ["force", 4257], ["secretary", 4284], ["serve", 4311], ["serves", 4311], ["right", 4321], ["rightest", 4321], ["lot", 4346], ["hell", 4361], ["hells", 4361]]
it 's clear that chloe performed the operation in a controlled environment like biology class , and did n't just take advantage of a defenseless creature while skulking about the farmlands with her friends , the children of the corn . '' in response to her assurance , he only arched one eyebrow in silent query . lily lifted her chin smugly . `` chloe is what some people would call a gifted child , '' she began in the girl 's defense . `` she 's what other people would call a menace to society , '' he countered , his gaze never flinching . lily was about to speak again , but before she could comment , mrs. puddleduck began to rouse herself . she stood silently , wavered a bit , smoothed out her dress , wavered a bit more , and then made her way to the closet with all the imperiousness of a czarina . well , a czarina who was completely whacked on laudanum , anyway . without a word , she withdrew a suitcase from inside , opened it on the floor , and began to jerk her clothes from the hangers above . she did n't bother to fold them , only tossed them one by one into the suitcase at her feet . even though she knew it would probably be pointless to try to make amends , lily offered , `` in light of today 's , urn , incident , i 'm sure we could talk mr. kimball into giving you a little bonus for your troubles . '' she bit back a derisive chuckle . even publisher 's clearinghouse did n't have enough money to pay a nanny for chloe sandusky . the other woman spun around and glared at her . `` no , thank you , '' she bit out through gritted teeth . `` how about if you just take a little time to think about it , hmm ? '' lily tried further . `` a few days off ? paid , naturally . '' but the nanny shook her head and went back to her packing . `` no , i think i 'll check into that prison matron position i saw advertised in the paper last sunday . that should be an enormous improvement over this place . '' `` well , naturally , you 'd know what 's best for your career . '' the other woman expelled a strangled sound , but said nothing more . `` truly , i wish you 'd reconsider , '' lily tried again . she did not relish the prospect of interviewing potential nannies for chloe . she might spend weeks trying to find someone else . and she had a million other , more pressing , things to do than search for an appropriate companion for chloe . `` let me talk to mr. kimball to see what kind of permanent future arrangements we can make , '' she said . mrs. puddleduck hesitated in her packing . `` i 'm assuming you mean permanent future financial arrangements ? '' `` of course , '' lily assured her . `` significant ones ? '' `` well , you are already earning far more than the average nanny . let 's not get greedy . '' the other woman spun around and thrust her fists upon her ample hips . `` i am not greedy , '' she said . `` and chloe is not a nanny 's typical charge . the girl is a menace . '' `` but a gifted menace , '' lily reminded her . `` nevertheless , if mr. kimball wants me to continue working with her , he 's going to have to make it worth my while . call it hazardous duty pay , if you want . because that 's exactly what it will be . that girl needs a drill instructor , not a nanny . '' `` well , i do appreciate all the work you 've put in with chloe , '' lily said . `` i know it has n't been easy . '' that strangled sound erupted from the nanny again , then she said , `` you might want to tell that to mr. kimball . and do n't forget to include the part about me deserving a bonus . a big bonus . '' `` i 'll do my best , '' lily told her , `` but you know how mr. kimball feels about bonuses . '' mrs. puddleduck 's expression pretty much illustrated her feelings without a word spoken . which was just as well , lily thought , because that kind of language really was n't appropriate coming out of the mouth of a nanny . `` i 'll see what i can do about increasing your salary . and your bonus , as well , '' she added when she saw the other woman open her mouth to remind her . `` i 'll give him one week to ... you know ... see to my needs , '' the nanny stated quite forcefully . then she stared down at her half-filled suitcase with what was obviously much regret . and before lily had a chance to object-happy hour did n't begin until six o'clock , after all-the other woman had left the room . oh , well , she tried to console herself .	[["clear", 11], ["clearest", 11], ["chloe", 22], ["perform", 32], ["performest", 32], ["performed", 32], ["operation", 46], ["control", 62], ["controlled", 62], ["environment", 74], ["like", 79], ["biology", 87], ["class", 93], ["classing", 93], ["classest", 93], ["take", 117], ["advantage", 127], ["advantaging", 127], ["defenseless", 144], ["creature", 153], ["skulk", 168], ["skulkest", 168], ["farmland", 188], ["farmlands", 188], ["friend", 205], ["friends", 205], ["child", 220], ["childs", 220], ["children", 220], ["corn", 232], ["response", 249], ["assurance", 266], ["arch", 283], ["arched", 283], ["eyebrow", 295], ["silent", 305], ["query", 311], ["lily", 318], ["lift", 325], ["lifted", 325], ["chin", 334], ["smugly", 341], ["people", 372], ["call", 383], ["child", 398], ["childs", 398], ["begin", 413], ["began", 413], ["girl", 425], ["defense", 436], ["menace", 486], ["menaced", 486], ["menacing", 486], ["society", 497], ["counter", 515], ["countered", 515], ["gaze", 526], ["gazes", 526], ["never", 532], ["flinch", 542], ["flinching", 542], ["speak", 568], ["spoken", 568], ["comment", 605], ["mrs", 611], ["rouse", 638], ["stood", 658], ["stand", 658], ["standest", 658], ["silently", 667], ["waver", 677], ["wavering", 677], ["wavered", 677], ["bit", 683], ["bits", 683], ["smooth", 694], ["smoothed", 694], ["dress", 708], ["dressest", 708], ["way", 753], ["ways", 753], ["closet", 767], ["closets", 767], ["imperiousness", 794], ["czarina", 807], ["czarinas", 807], ["well", 814], ["wells", 814], ["completely", 845], ["whack", 853], ["whacked", 853], ["laudanum", 865], ["anyway", 874], ["without", 884], ["word", 891], ["withdraw", 906], ["withdrew", 906], ["suitcase", 917], ["inside", 929], ["open", 938], ["opened", 938], ["floor", 954], ["jerk", 974], ["jerks", 974], ["jerked", 974], ["clad", 986], ["clothe", 986], ["clothes", 986], ["hanger", 1003], ["hangers", 1003], ["bother", 1030], ["bothers", 1030], ["bothering", 1030], ["fold", 1038], ["toss", 1057], ["tossed", 1057], ["foot", 1103], ["feet", 1103], ["even", 1110], ["evens", 1110], ["though", 1117], ["know", 1126], ["knowest", 1126], ["knew", 1126], ["probably", 1144], ["pointless", 1157], ["try", 1164], ["tryed", 1164], ["amend", 1179], ["amends", 1179], ["offer", 1194], ["offered", 1194], ["lit", 1208], ["light", 1208], ["today", 1217], ["urn", 1226], ["urns", 1226], ["incident", 1237], ["sure", 1249], ["talk", 1263], ["mr", 1266], ["kimball", 1275], ["give", 1287], ["giving", 1287], ["little", 1300], ["bonus", 1306], ["trouble", 1324], ["troubling", 1324], ["troubles", 1324], ["back", 1342], ["derisive", 1353], ["chuckle", 1361], ["chuckled", 1361], ["publisher", 1378], ["clearinghouse", 1395], ["enough", 1415], ["money", 1421], ["moneys", 1421], ["pay", 1428], ["pays", 1428], ["payest", 1428], ["nanny", 1436], ["sandusky", 1455], ["woman", 1473], ["womans", 1473], ["spun", 1478], ["spin", 1478], ["around", 1485], ["glare", 1496], ["glared", 1496], ["thank", 1519], ["thanks", 1519], ["thankest", 1519], ["tooth", 1562], ["teeth", 1562], ["time", 1608], ["think", 1617], ["thinkest", 1617], ["hmm", 1632], ["try", 1648], ["tryed", 1648], ["tried", 1648], ["far", 1656], ["day", 1672], ["days", 1672], ["pay", 1683], ["pays", 1683], ["payest", 1683], ["paid", 1683], ["naturally", 1695], ["shake", 1720], ["shook", 1720], ["head", 1729], ["go", 1738], ["goest", 1738], ["went", 1738], ["packing", 1758], ["check", 1788], ["prison", 1805], ["matron", 1812], ["position", 1821], ["see", 1827], ["saw", 1827], ["advertise", 1838], ["advertised", 1838], ["paper", 1851], ["last", 1856], ["sunday", 1863], ["sundays", 1863], ["enormous", 1892], ["improvement", 1904], ["place", 1920], ["know", 1959], ["knowest", 1959], ["good", 1972], ["best", 1972], ["career", 1988], ["expel", 2018], ["expelled", 2018], ["strangle", 2030], ["strangles", 2030], ["strangled", 2030], ["sound", 2036], ["say", 2047], ["sayest", 2047], ["said", 2047], ["nothing", 2055], ["truly", 2071], ["wish", 2080], ["reconsider", 2098], ["relish", 2141], ["prospect", 2154], ["interview", 2170], ["interviewing", 2170], ["potential", 2180], ["nanny", 2188], ["nannies", 2188], ["may", 2210], ["mays", 2210], ["mayest", 2210], ["might", 2210], ["spend", 2216], ["spends", 2216], ["spendest", 2216], ["week", 2222], ["weeks", 2222], ["try", 2229], ["tryed", 2229], ["trying", 2229], ["find", 2237], ["else", 2250], ["million", 2274], ["thing", 2305], ["things", 2305], ["search", 2323], ["appropriate", 2342], ["appropriates", 2342], ["companion", 2352], ["let", 2371], ["lets", 2371], ["see", 2401], ["kind", 2411], ["permanent", 2424], ["future", 2431], ["arrangement", 2444], ["arrangements", 2444], ["hesitate", 2498], ["hesitated", 2498], ["assume", 2532], ["assumes", 2532], ["assuming", 2532], ["mean", 2541], ["meanest", 2541], ["financial", 2568], ["course", 2599], ["assure", 2617], ["assured", 2617], ["significant", 2638], ["already", 2674], ["earn", 2682], ["earning", 2682], ["far", 2686], ["average", 2708], ["get", 2731], ["greedy", 2738], ["thrust", 2782], ["fist", 2792], ["fists", 2792], ["upon", 2797], ["ample", 2807], ["hip", 2812], ["hips", 2812], ["typical", 2888], ["charge", 2895], ["gift", 2939], ["gifted", 2939], ["remind", 2965], ["reminded", 2965], ["nevertheless", 2987], ["continue", 3025], ["work", 3033], ["wrought", 3033], ["working", 3033], ["go", 3056], ["goest", 3056], ["going", 3056], ["worth", 3081], ["hazardous", 3110], ["duty", 3115], ["exactly", 3159], ["need", 3193], ["needest", 3193], ["needs", 3193], ["drill", 3201], ["drilling", 3201], ["instructor", 3212], ["appreciate", 3257], ["appreciates", 3257], ["work", 3270], ["wrought", 3270], ["put", 3282], ["easy", 3344], ["erupt", 3378], ["eruptest", 3378], ["erupted", 3378], ["tell", 3443], ["forget", 3483], ["forgot", 3483], ["include", 3494], ["part", 3503], ["parting", 3503], ["deserve", 3522], ["deserved", 3522], ["deserving", 3522], ["big", 3538], ["bigs", 3538], ["tell", 3584], ["told", 3584], ["feel", 3628], ["feels", 3628], ["bonus", 3642], ["bonuses", 3642], ["expression", 3677], ["pretty", 3684], ["prettiest", 3684], ["much", 3689], ["illustrate", 3701], ["illustrated", 3701], ["feeling", 3714], ["feelings", 3714], ["speak", 3736], ["spoken", 3736], ["think", 3776], ["thinkest", 3776], ["thought", 3776], ["language", 3808], ["languaged", 3808], ["really", 3815], ["come", 3842], ["coming", 3842], ["mouth", 3859], ["mouthed", 3859], ["increase", 3916], ["increasing", 3916], ["salary", 3928], ["add", 3970], ["added", 3970], ["open", 4004], ["remind", 4024], ["give", 4044], ["week", 4057], ["state", 4115], ["stated", 4115], ["quite", 4121], ["forcefully", 4132], ["stare", 4150], ["stared", 4150], ["half", 4167], ["fill", 4174], ["fills", 4174], ["filled", 4174], ["obviously", 4207], ["regret", 4219], ["chance", 4250], ["chanced", 4250], ["chancing", 4250], ["object", 4260], ["objected", 4260], ["objecting", 4260], ["objectest", 4260], ["happy", 4266], ["hour", 4271], ["begin", 4285], ["six", 4295], ["left", 4340], ["leave", 4340], ["room", 4349], ["roomed", 4349], ["oh", 4354], ["console", 4384], ["consoles", 4384]]
that is not a bad thing as he pushes me down onto them a moment later , grabbing my head with both hands after he shoves his straining cck into my mouth . while i 'm not exactly out of practice , his forcefulness surprises me and makes me choke . instead of easing up , he holds me hard against him for several seconds while i struggle feebly , then only lets up long enough for me to draw a gasping breath . i love how he shows no mercy and starts ramming his cck into my mouth before i can start sucking on my own , and does n't even ease up when i do my very best to add to his enjoyment . the roughness of our motions does absolutely mean things to the weights still fixed to the connective chain of my nipple clamps , distracting me from the blowjob and giving him an excuse to be even more 'unsatisfied ' with my compliance . `` do you have something here that i can get his hands out of the way with ? he 's struggling too much for my comfort . '' from the edge of my field of vision , i see bella get up but i ca n't concentrate on what she 's fetching as jazz resumes fking my throat . i find out soon enough when the cool steel of a handcuff suddenly bites into my left wrist , then my right , as bella pulls my arms together behind my back . `` does our little fk toy not like being used like this ? such a shame , because i love watching you like this , '' she purrs into my ear , then resumes her place as a spectator . jazz goes right on , obviously enjoying my increased degree of helplessness , and it does n't take long until he shoves his cck into me as far as possible , and keeps my face pressed against his body while he shoots his load down my throat . i try to relax but eventually my gag reflex kicks in again , making me cough and sputter once he lets go , but he does n't show any mercy . he draws me to my feet by grabbing my right elbow , then drags me over to the desk . i grunt loudly when he slams my body against the sturdy wood , the edge digging into my thighs . he keeps holding me right there with one hand in my hair as he draws my head back painfully , exposing my neck to him . i shout again when he suddenly bites down on my shoulder in a weird display of dominance , but i ca n't deny that i get off on that , too . keeping my head bent back and to the side like that , his other hand gropes for the nipple clamp chain , and yanks on it hard when he finally gets a grip on it . my cry is one of real agony . i 'm sure that if he realized just how much he 's really hurting me , it would disturb him , but i 'm quite happy with the fact that it does n't . things get even worse when he does n't detach the first clamp neatly but pulls it off , then pinches my nipple deftly between his thumb and forefinger . i see bella wince but she does n't say anything , remaining sitting with her legs crossed and her fingers laced together over her knee . i manage not to wallow like a baby when he removes the second clamp , but my nples are still throbbing with pain when he pushes me down onto the table , his hand now at my neck to keep me down . he pushes my right knee upwards until it stays pressed into the wooden top , too . the move thankfully raises my ass a little more in the air and my cck is no longer wedged between table and my body . he briefly strokes it as he pushes it in the direction of my raised thigh . more for show than anything else , i try to fight , but i 'm helpless with my hands still cuffed behind my back . instead of slapping my ass for that , jazz grips my still weighted-down balls and pulls them further away from my body while at the same time squeezing them roughly , making me cry out - and go still - again . he keeps up the pressure for a few more seconds , then increases it until i start struggling in earnest . unlike bella , he 's a better judge of how far he can go there , and is quite happy to push that boundary . i 'm panting with relief when he lets go of my tortured balls . his grip on my neck remains even while he opens the bottle of lube with his other hand and pours a very liberal amount down my ass crack . i feel some of it dribble down my painfully extended scrotum , too . before i can wonder if it was just an accident , he resumes kneading my balls deftly , if less painfully than before . he observes , his voice a mean rasp in my ear as he leans into me . he switches from holding my neck to shoving my shoulders into the wood with one forearm pressing horizontally into my shoulder blades . i grit my teeth , trying not to make a sound , but it 's a useless endeavor .	[["bad", 17], ["thing", 23], ["push", 36], ["pushes", 36], ["onto", 49], ["ontos", 49], ["moment", 63], ["later", 69], ["grab", 80], ["grabbing", 80], ["head", 88], ["hand", 104], ["hands", 104], ["shove", 120], ["shoves", 120], ["strain", 134], ["strains", 134], ["straining", 134], ["mouth", 153], ["mouthed", 153], ["exactly", 178], ["practice", 194], ["forcefulness", 213], ["surprise", 223], ["surprised", 223], ["surprises", 223], ["choke", 245], ["instead", 255], ["ease", 265], ["easing", 265], ["hold", 279], ["holds", 279], ["hard", 287], ["several", 311], ["second", 319], ["seconded", 319], ["seconds", 319], ["struggle", 336], ["feebly", 343], ["let", 360], ["lets", 360], ["long", 368], ["longs", 368], ["enough", 375], ["draw", 390], ["draws", 390], ["drawn", 390], ["gasping", 400], ["breath", 407], ["breathest", 407], ["love", 416], ["show", 429], ["shows", 429], ["mercy", 438], ["start", 449], ["starts", 449], ["ram", 457], ["rams", 457], ["ramming", 457], ["start", 499], ["suck", 507], ["sucking", 507], ["even", 537], ["evens", 537], ["ease", 542], ["good", 568], ["best", 568], ["add", 575], ["enjoyment", 592], ["roughness", 608], ["motion", 623], ["motions", 623], ["absolutely", 639], ["mean", 644], ["meanest", 644], ["thing", 651], ["things", 651], ["weight", 666], ["weighted", 666], ["weightest", 666], ["weights", 666], ["still", 672], ["fix", 678], ["fixes", 678], ["fixed", 678], ["connective", 696], ["chain", 702], ["nipple", 715], ["nipples", 715], ["clamp", 722], ["clamps", 722], ["distract", 736], ["distracting", 736], ["blowjob", 756], ["blowjobs", 756], ["give", 767], ["giving", 767], ["excuse", 781], ["compliance", 831], ["get", 878], ["way", 903], ["ways", 903], ["struggle", 927], ["struggling", 927], ["much", 936], ["comfort", 951], ["edge", 970], ["edges", 970], ["field", 982], ["fielding", 982], ["vision", 992], ["see", 1000], ["ca", 1022], ["cas", 1022], ["concentrate", 1038], ["concentrated", 1038], ["concentrates", 1038], ["fetch", 1062], ["fetching", 1062], ["jazz", 1070], ["jazzes", 1070], ["jazzed", 1070], ["jazzing", 1070], ["resume", 1078], ["resumes", 1078], ["throat", 1096], ["find", 1105], ["soon", 1114], ["cool", 1135], ["steel", 1141], ["handcuff", 1155], ["handcuffed", 1155], ["suddenly", 1164], ["bite", 1170], ["bites", 1170], ["left", 1183], ["wrist", 1189], ["right", 1205], ["rightest", 1205], ["pull", 1222], ["pulls", 1222], ["arm", 1230], ["arms", 1230], ["together", 1239], ["behind", 1246], ["back", 1254], ["little", 1275], ["toy", 1284], ["toyed", 1284], ["toyest", 1284], ["like", 1293], ["use", 1304], ["used", 1304], ["shame", 1329], ["shamed", 1329], ["watch", 1355], ["watching", 1355], ["purr", 1384], ["purrs", 1384], ["ear", 1396], ["place", 1421], ["spectator", 1436], ["go", 1448], ["goest", 1448], ["goes", 1448], ["obviously", 1469], ["enjoy", 1478], ["enjoyed", 1478], ["enjoying", 1478], ["increase", 1491], ["increased", 1491], ["degree", 1498], ["helplessness", 1514], ["take", 1537], ["far", 1582], ["possible", 1594], ["keep", 1606], ["keepest", 1606], ["keeps", 1606], ["face", 1614], ["press", 1622], ["pressed", 1622], ["body", 1639], ["bodied", 1639], ["shoot", 1655], ["shooted", 1655], ["shoots", 1655], ["load", 1664], ["loaded", 1664], ["try", 1687], ["tryed", 1687], ["relax", 1696], ["relaxed", 1696], ["eventually", 1711], ["gag", 1718], ["reflex", 1725], ["kick", 1731], ["kicks", 1731], ["cough", 1758], ["sputter", 1770], ["sputtering", 1770], ["go", 1786], ["goest", 1786], ["show", 1809], ["draw", 1830], ["draws", 1830], ["drawn", 1830], ["foot", 1844], ["feet", 1844], ["elbow", 1871], ["elbowing", 1871], ["drag", 1884], ["desk", 1904], ["grunt", 1914], ["loudly", 1921], ["slam", 1935], ["sturdy", 1962], ["wood", 1967], ["dug", 1986], ["dig", 1986], ["digs", 1986], ["digest", 1986], ["digging", 1986], ["thigh", 2001], ["thighs", 2001], ["hold", 2020], ["holding", 2020], ["hand", 2049], ["hair", 2060], ["painfully", 2095], ["expose", 2106], ["exposing", 2106], ["neck", 2114], ["necked", 2114], ["shout", 2131], ["shoulder", 2180], ["shouldered", 2180], ["weird", 2191], ["display", 2199], ["dominance", 2212], ["deny", 2232], ["keep", 2271], ["keepest", 2271], ["keeping", 2271], ["bent", 2284], ["side", 2305], ["sidest", 2305], ["grope", 2339], ["gropes", 2339], ["clamp", 2360], ["clamps", 2360], ["yank", 2378], ["yanks", 2378], ["yanked", 2378], ["finally", 2405], ["get", 2410], ["gets", 2410], ["grip", 2417], ["cry", 2432], ["reis", 2447], ["real", 2447], ["agony", 2453], ["sure", 2465], ["realize", 2485], ["realized", 2485], ["really", 2512], ["hurt", 2520], ["hurts", 2520], ["hurting", 2520], ["disturb", 2542], ["disturbed", 2542], ["quite", 2563], ["happy", 2569], ["fact", 2583], ["bad", 2624], ["worse", 2624], ["detach", 2648], ["detachest", 2648], ["first", 2658], ["firstest", 2658], ["neatly", 2671], ["pinch", 2703], ["deftly", 2720], ["thumb", 2738], ["thumbed", 2738], ["forefinger", 2753], ["wince", 2773], ["say", 2794], ["sayest", 2794], ["anything", 2803], ["remain", 2815], ["remaining", 2815], ["sat", 2823], ["sit", 2823], ["sitting", 2823], ["leg", 2837], ["legs", 2837], ["cross", 2845], ["crossing", 2845], ["crossed", 2845], ["finger", 2861], ["fingers", 2861], ["lace", 2867], ["laced", 2867], ["knee", 2890], ["manage", 2901], ["wallow", 2915], ["wallowing", 2915], ["baby", 2927], ["remove", 2943], ["removes", 2943], ["second", 2954], ["seconded", 2954], ["throb", 2997], ["throbs", 2997], ["throbbed", 2997], ["throbbing", 2997], ["pain", 3007], ["table", 3045], ["tabled", 3045], ["tabling", 3045], ["keep", 3079], ["keepest", 3079], ["upwards", 3121], ["stay", 3136], ["stays", 3136], ["wooden", 3160], ["top", 3164], ["move", 3181], ["thankfully", 3192], ["raise", 3199], ["raises", 3199], ["ass", 3206], ["air", 3231], ["airs", 3231], ["airing", 3231], ["long", 3256], ["longs", 3256], ["wedge", 3263], ["wedged", 3263], ["briefly", 3302], ["stroke", 3310], ["strokes", 3310], ["direction", 3346], ["raise", 3359], ["raised", 3359], ["thigh", 3365], ["thighs", 3365], ["else", 3400], ["fight", 3417], ["fightest", 3417], ["helpless", 3437], ["cuff", 3464], ["cuffed", 3464], ["slap", 3501], ["slaps", 3501], ["slapped", 3501], ["grip", 3530], ["grips", 3530], ["weight", 3548], ["weighted", 3548], ["weightest", 3548], ["ball", 3559], ["balls", 3559], ["away", 3587], ["time", 3623], ["squeeze", 3633], ["squeezes", 3633], ["squeezing", 3633], ["roughly", 3646], ["pressure", 3716], ["pressured", 3716], ["increase", 3756], ["increases", 3756], ["earnest", 3795], ["unlike", 3804], ["unliking", 3804], ["well", 3827], ["wells", 3827], ["judge", 3833], ["push", 3889], ["boundary", 3903], ["pant", 3918], ["panting", 3918], ["relief", 3930], ["reliefs", 3930], ["remain", 3997], ["remains", 3997], ["open", 4017], ["opens", 4017], ["bottle", 4028], ["bottled", 4028], ["lube", 4036], ["lubes", 4036], ["pour", 4066], ["pours", 4066], ["liberal", 4081], ["amount", 4088], ["crack", 4106], ["feel", 4115], ["dribble", 4134], ["extend", 4161], ["extended", 4161], ["scrotum", 4169], ["wonder", 4197], ["wonderest", 4197], ["accident", 4224], ["knead", 4246], ["kneads", 4246], ["kneading", 4246], ["kneadest", 4246], ["less", 4272], ["observe", 4308], ["observes", 4308], ["voice", 4320], ["rasp", 4332], ["rasped", 4332], ["rasping", 4332], ["lean", 4354], ["leans", 4354], ["switch", 4376], ["switching", 4376], ["switches", 4376], ["shove", 4408], ["shoving", 4408], ["shoulder", 4421], ["shouldered", 4421], ["shoulders", 4421], ["forearm", 4452], ["press", 4461], ["pressing", 4461], ["horizontally", 4474], ["blade", 4498], ["blades", 4498], ["grit", 4507], ["gritted", 4507], ["tooth", 4516], ["teeth", 4516], ["try", 4525], ["tryed", 4525], ["trying", 4525], ["sound", 4545], ["useless", 4567], ["uselessest", 4567], ["endeavor", 4576]]
he captured her wrist and pulled it over her head , holding it there as he cupped one of her br*sts and caressed the swell . he stroked lazily with his fingers , tracing soft lines to her nipple . he captured the peak and pulled , gently at first and then sharper . each tug sent a streak of pleasure straight to her core . she squeezed her thighs together and arched farther into his touch . then he lowered his head until his breath blew warm over the puckered bud . she moaned in anticipation , hardly recognizing the breathy , feminine sounds sliding from her throat . warm and rough , his tongue slid sensuously over her nipple , leaving a damp trail to the top of her breast . he released her wrist and lowered his hand to cup her other breast . he kneaded and massaged and then plumped them together . he licked over one nipple and then pressed a tender kiss to the tip before moving to the other . she stared down at his dark head as he suckled . with each pull , her body tightened more until she was rigid beneath him . unable to resist , she thrust her fingers into his long , black hair . she stroked the braids at his temples , pulling when he stopped sucking . with a chuckle , he resumed and she relaxed her hold so that she threaded through the strands , enjoying the slide over her hands . `` i have a mind to taste you again , to feel your honey on my tongue , '' he whispered . she closed her eyes and let her hands fall away as he kissed a path over her belly and lower to the juncture of her thighs . he leaned over on his side , his big hand splayed over her pelvis . he propped himself up on his other elbow and idly toyed with the curls shielding her femininity . it mortified her and fascinated her with equal measure . part of her wanted to squeeze her thighs shut and turn away and the other part wanted to open them to give him easier access . carefully he delved inward and gently parted her flesh until she was open and damp to his touch . with one finger , he stroked down and then back up again to circle the tiny sensitive nub . `` i 'm fair to bursting , lass . i want to bury myself deep inside your warmth . '' her eyes widened at the image his words provoked . she went still beneath his fingers and stared down at him . he tilted his head back so he met her gaze , and the intensity in his eyes made her mouth go dry . his hand left her and slid up her belly to cup her breast and he leaned down to kiss the tip , forming it into a tight peak . then he shifted his body and moved up so their lips were just a breath apart . he touched her cheek with the back of one finger and trailed over her cheekbone to her jaw . `` i wo n't hurt you , lass . you were afraid our wedding night . 't is why i did n't bed you . i 'll be as gentle as a man can be when he 's shaking with want for his bride . '' she opened her mouth to refute his assertion that she was afraid of anything but the protest died as she blew her breath out and closed her lips once more . then he kissed her , his mouth moving with infinite tenderness over her lips . all the while his hands slid over her body , stroking , caressing . somehow he managed to shift over her , his body covering hers like a warm blanket . one muscled thigh wedged between hers and nudged them farther apart . she was so senseless from his kisses that she had n't registered that his very large , very nakd body was pressing tightly against hers , and another very hard , very large portion of his anatomy was prodding insistently at her most intimate flesh . he found her opening and went still as she stretched around the tip of his manhood . her startled gaze flew to his face . she tensed , unable to prevent the unease that gripped her . `` relax , lass , '' he whispered against the corner of her mouth. `` 'twill be easier if you give over . i 'll give you pleasure . `` tell me what to do , '' she whispered back . `` wrap your legs around me and hold on to my shoulders . '' she lifted her legs and twined them around his , sliding her calves up the hairy , muscled wall of his legs to lock them behind his knees . her hands felt small on his shoulders . her fingers barely left dents in the hard flesh . she stared into his eyes and found gentleness there . it comforted her that he worried over frightening her . surely she could find courage . how could she expect him to respect his `` warrior princess '' if she never showed her to him ? `` come to me , husband , '' she said boldly . his hardness found her again , firm against her softness . probing and insistent . she gave a little gasp when he slipped the barest inch inside her body . she stretched to accommodate him but the fullness unsettled her . it was an odd combination of hesitancy and urgency .	[["capture", 11], ["captured", 11], ["wrist", 21], ["pull", 32], ["pulled", 32], ["head", 49], ["hold", 59], ["holding", 59], ["cup", 81], ["cupped", 81], ["caress", 113], ["caressed", 113], ["swell", 123], ["swells", 123], ["swollen", 123], ["swellest", 123], ["stroke", 136], ["stroked", 136], ["lazily", 143], ["finger", 160], ["fingers", 160], ["trace", 170], ["tracing", 170], ["soft", 175], ["line", 181], ["lines", 181], ["nipple", 195], ["nipples", 195], ["peak", 218], ["gently", 238], ["first", 247], ["firstest", 247], ["sharp", 264], ["sharps", 264], ["tug", 275], ["tugging", 275], ["send", 280], ["sent", 280], ["streak", 289], ["streaks", 289], ["streaked", 289], ["pleasure", 301], ["straight", 310], ["core", 322], ["squeeze", 337], ["squeezes", 337], ["squeezed", 337], ["thigh", 348], ["thighs", 348], ["together", 357], ["arch", 368], ["arched", 368], ["far", 376], ["farther", 376], ["touch", 391], ["touching", 391], ["lowers", 409], ["lowerest", 409], ["lowered", 409], ["breath", 435], ["breathest", 435], ["blew", 440], ["blow", 440], ["blowest", 440], ["warm", 445], ["bud", 467], ["moan", 480], ["moans", 480], ["moanest", 480], ["moaned", 480], ["anticipation", 496], ["hardly", 505], ["recognize", 517], ["recognizing", 517], ["breathy", 529], ["feminine", 540], ["sound", 547], ["sounds", 547], ["slid", 555], ["sliding", 555], ["throat", 571], ["rough", 588], ["roughs", 588], ["roughest", 588], ["roughing", 588], ["tongue", 601], ["tonguing", 601], ["slid", 606], ["sensuously", 617], ["left", 643], ["leave", 643], ["leaving", 643], ["damp", 650], ["damps", 650], ["damped", 650], ["trail", 656], ["top", 667], ["breast", 681], ["breasted", 681], ["breasting", 681], ["release", 695], ["released", 695], ["hand", 726], ["cup", 733], ["knead", 763], ["kneads", 763], ["kneading", 763], ["kneadest", 763], ["kneaded", 763], ["massage", 776], ["massaged", 776], ["plump", 793], ["plumps", 793], ["plumped", 793], ["lick", 819], ["licked", 819], ["press", 852], ["pressed", 852], ["tender", 861], ["tenderest", 861], ["kiss", 866], ["kisses", 866], ["kissest", 866], ["tip", 877], ["move", 891], ["moving", 891], ["stare", 917], ["stared", 917], ["dark", 934], ["suckle", 953], ["suckled", 953], ["pull", 970], ["body", 981], ["bodied", 981], ["tighten", 991], ["tightens", 991], ["tightenest", 991], ["tightened", 991], ["rigid", 1016], ["beneath", 1024], ["unable", 1037], ["unabled", 1037], ["resist", 1047], ["resistest", 1047], ["thrust", 1060], ["long", 1086], ["longs", 1086], ["black", 1094], ["hair", 1099], ["braid", 1124], ["braids", 1124], ["temple", 1139], ["temples", 1139], ["pull", 1149], ["pulling", 1149], ["stop", 1165], ["stopped", 1165], ["suck", 1173], ["sucking", 1173], ["chuckle", 1190], ["chuckled", 1190], ["resume", 1203], ["resumed", 1203], ["relax", 1219], ["relaxed", 1219], ["hold", 1228], ["thread", 1249], ["threaded", 1249], ["strand", 1269], ["strands", 1269], ["enjoy", 1280], ["enjoyed", 1280], ["enjoying", 1280], ["slid", 1290], ["hand", 1305], ["hands", 1305], ["mind", 1324], ["minding", 1324], ["taste", 1333], ["feel", 1353], ["honey", 1364], ["honeys", 1364], ["whisper", 1395], ["whispered", 1395], ["close", 1408], ["closed", 1408], ["eye", 1417], ["eyed", 1417], ["eyes", 1417], ["let", 1425], ["lets", 1425], ["fall", 1440], ["falls", 1440], ["away", 1445], ["kiss", 1458], ["kisses", 1458], ["kissest", 1458], ["kissed", 1458], ["path", 1465], ["belly", 1480], ["bellied", 1480], ["low", 1490], ["lowed", 1490], ["juncture", 1506], ["lean", 1532], ["leans", 1532], ["leaned", 1532], ["side", 1549], ["sidest", 1549], ["big", 1559], ["bigs", 1559], ["splay", 1572], ["splayed", 1572], ["pelvis", 1588], ["prop", 1601], ["propped", 1601], ["elbow", 1631], ["elbowing", 1631], ["idly", 1640], ["toy", 1646], ["toyed", 1646], ["toyest", 1646], ["curl", 1661], ["curls", 1661], ["curled", 1661], ["shield", 1671], ["shields", 1671], ["femininity", 1686], ["mortify", 1701], ["mortifying", 1701], ["mortified", 1701], ["fascinate", 1720], ["fascinated", 1720], ["equal", 1735], ["measure", 1743], ["part", 1750], ["parting", 1750], ["squeeze", 1775], ["squeezes", 1775], ["shut", 1791], ["turn", 1800], ["open", 1839], ["give", 1852], ["easy", 1863], ["easier", 1863], ["access", 1870], ["accessest", 1870], ["carefully", 1882], ["delve", 1892], ["inward", 1899], ["inwards", 1899], ["part", 1917], ["parting", 1917], ["parted", 1917], ["flesh", 1927], ["fleshest", 1927], ["finger", 1986], ["back", 2018], ["circle", 2037], ["tiny", 2046], ["sensitive", 2056], ["nub", 2060], ["nubs", 2060], ["fair", 2075], ["fairs", 2075], ["fairest", 2075], ["lass", 2094], ["bury", 2111], ["burying", 2111], ["deep", 2123], ["deeply", 2123], ["inside", 2130], ["warmth", 2142], ["widen", 2164], ["widened", 2164], ["image", 2177], ["imaged", 2177], ["imaging", 2177], ["word", 2187], ["words", 2187], ["provoke", 2196], ["provoked", 2196], ["go", 2207], ["goest", 2207], ["went", 2207], ["still", 2213], ["tilt", 2268], ["tilting", 2268], ["tilted", 2268], ["meet", 2292], ["meeted", 2292], ["met", 2292], ["gaze", 2301], ["gazes", 2301], ["intensity", 2321], ["mouth", 2348], ["mouthed", 2348], ["go", 2351], ["goest", 2351], ["dry", 2355], ["drier", 2355], ["drying", 2355], ["left", 2371], ["leave", 2371], ["form", 2460], ["formest", 2460], ["forming", 2460], ["tight", 2476], ["shift", 2499], ["shifted", 2499], ["move", 2518], ["moved", 2518], ["lip", 2535], ["lipped", 2535], ["lips", 2535], ["apart", 2560], ["touch", 2573], ["touching", 2573], ["touched", 2573], ["cheek", 2583], ["cheeks", 2583], ["trail", 2623], ["trailed", 2623], ["cheekbone", 2642], ["cheekboned", 2642], ["cheekbones", 2642], ["jaw", 2653], ["jaws", 2653], ["jawed", 2653], ["jawest", 2653], ["wo", 2663], ["hurt", 2672], ["hurts", 2672], ["hurting", 2672], ["afraid", 2701], ["wedding", 2713], ["night", 2719], ["bed", 2745], ["gentle", 2770], ["gentler", 2770], ["man", 2779], ["mans", 2779], ["manned", 2779], ["shake", 2805], ["shaking", 2805], ["bride", 2829], ["open", 2845], ["opened", 2845], ["refute", 2865], ["assertion", 2879], ["anything", 2911], ["protest", 2927], ["protestest", 2927], ["die", 2932], ["died", 2932], ["infinite", 3043], ["tenderness", 3054], ["stroking", 3124], ["caress", 3136], ["caressing", 3136], ["somehow", 3146], ["manage", 3157], ["managed", 3157], ["shift", 3166], ["cover", 3195], ["covering", 3195], ["like", 3205], ["blanket", 3220], ["muscle", 3234], ["muscled", 3234], ["thigh", 3240], ["thighs", 3240], ["wedge", 3247], ["wedged", 3247], ["nudge", 3271], ["nudges", 3271], ["nudged", 3271], ["senseless", 3313], ["kiss", 3329], ["kisses", 3329], ["kissest", 3329], ["register", 3357], ["registered", 3357], ["large", 3377], ["press", 3408], ["pressing", 3408], ["tightly", 3416], ["another", 3443], ["hard", 3453], ["portion", 3474], ["anatomy", 3489], ["prod", 3502], ["prods", 3502], ["prodding", 3502], ["insistently", 3514], ["intimate", 3535], ["find", 3552], ["found", 3552], ["opening", 3564], ["stretch", 3596], ["stretched", 3596], ["around", 3603], ["manhood", 3626], ["fly", 3651], ["flys", 3651], ["flew", 3651], ["face", 3663], ["tense", 3676], ["tensed", 3676], ["prevent", 3696], ["preventest", 3696], ["unease", 3707], ["uneased", 3707], ["grip", 3720], ["relax", 3735], ["relaxed", 3735], ["corner", 3779], ["twill", 3803], ["tell", 3866], ["wrap", 3914], ["wraps", 3914], ["wrapping", 3914], ["leg", 3924], ["legs", 3924], ["shoulder", 3962], ["shouldered", 3962], ["shoulders", 3962], ["lift", 3978], ["lifted", 3978], ["twine", 3998], ["twined", 3998], ["calf", 4035], ["calves", 4035], ["hairy", 4048], ["wall", 4063], ["lock", 4083], ["behind", 4095], ["knee", 4105], ["knees", 4105], ["feel", 4122], ["felt", 4122], ["small", 4128], ["barely", 4166], ["dent", 4177], ["dents", 4177], ["gentleness", 4243], ["comfort", 4264], ["comforted", 4264], ["worry", 4284], ["worried", 4284], ["frighten", 4301], ["frightened", 4301], ["surely", 4314], ["find", 4329], ["courage", 4337], ["expect", 4360], ["respect", 4375], ["warrior", 4390], ["princess", 4399], ["never", 4415], ["show", 4422], ["showed", 4422], ["come", 4443], ["husband", 4459], ["husbanding", 4459], ["say", 4473], ["sayest", 4473], ["said", 4473], ["boldly", 4480], ["hardness", 4495], ["firm", 4518], ["probing", 4549], ["insistent", 4563], ["give", 4574], ["gave", 4574], ["little", 4583], ["gasp", 4588], ["gasps", 4588], ["slip", 4604], ["slipped", 4604], ["bare", 4615], ["inch", 4620], ["accommodate", 4667], ["fullness", 4688], ["unsettle", 4698], ["unsettled", 4698], ["odd", 4718], ["combination", 4730], ["hesitancy", 4743], ["urgency", 4755]]
it was easy to forget just how injured she was when she was keeping up his grueling pace and saving his ass in the process . her tone suggested just how much she hated asking , and he also sensed just how close she was to her limit . he retrieved the gps that he 'd been consulting and studied the path they were taking . his lips pressed into a thin line and he stared into the night . we 're making better time than i counted on , which is good . if we can keep this pace , we should meet up with my team at dawn . if we slow or you ca n't make it , we 'll have to bed down , wait for daylight and hope to hell we do n't have to engage . '' he could feel the quiet despair emanating from her . it was like watching a balloon deflate . but then she squared her shoulders , her chin came up a nd she chambered another bullet before setting the safety on the pistol once more . `` let 's go , '' she said in a quiet , firm voice . chapter 6 one foot in front of the other . block the pain . over and over , grace repeated the same instructions to herself . she 'd long since lost count of the many times she 'd stumbled and righted herself , determined not to slow rio . by now she was performing by rote , and only sheer grit was keeping her upright and moving forward . she played this ridiculous game with herself . each time they topped a rise , she told herself she only had to get over the next one . finally she stopped pretending at all and she clenched her jaw and blanked her mind to everything but taking that next step . she retreated deep inside herself , where there was no pain , no exhaustion and no fear . only the knowledge that if she stopped , she died . and this man was risking everything because of a promise he 'd made to her sister . she would n't let him die because she was too weak to keep moving . finally rio stopped , pulled out another handheld device and studied it a moment before raising his head to stare into the distance . cramps rippled through her calves . rio started forward and her finger slid from the belt loop that she 'd clung to for the last few hours . he pulled up and turned , coming back to her instantly . he put his hands on her shoulders and tilted her face to look into her eyes . she made a grab for his arms just as her knees buckled . she would have fallen hard if he had n't held her up . she bit her lip to keep from crying out as cramps knotted viciously , spreading into her feet and toes . both legs were one gigantic cramp . `` tell me what 's wrong , '' rio demanded . oh god , they 're everywhere . '' he eased her down onto the ground and then took both her legs , bending them at the knees and putting both her feet against his legs . he pushed forward , stretching her calves . warm hands massaged and rubbed , easing the tense muscles . at his side , he fumbled for a canteen and handed it down to her . `` you 're not hydrated enough . i should have had you drinking all along . stupid of me not to have seen this coming . '' she drank thirstily , but the longer he stood there , open , exposed and vulnerable as he massaged the cramps from her legs , the more she panicked . `` you ca n't stay here like this , '' she said desperately . `` go , rio . you ca n't be far . go find your team . leave me here and come back . '' `` bullshit , '' he said tersely . `` you go where i go . i 'm not leaving you so shut up . '' even the words so rudely said slid over her like the best kind of comfort . his tone told her that she was safe with him and that he 'd die before leaving her . even as she knew it was what he should do , she was relieved that he had no intention of doing so . he retrieved the canteen and then bent down to grip her free hand . `` on your feet , grace . get off your ass and let 's get moving . put the pain behind you , just like you 've been doing . we have an hour at most until dawn . his words should have infuriated her . she should have dissolved into tears and refused . she should have rolled over and given up . she did none of those things . the harsh resolve in his tone did n't fool her for a moment . there was worry and respect in his eyes , and she knew in that instant that if she did n't get up , he would simply pick her up and carry her the rest of the way . she wrapped her hand around his and allowed him to haul her to her feet . her legs screamed . more cramps rippled down her calves , paralyzing her feet . the strips binding the splint on her broken arm had unraveled and one of the sticks slipped out .	[["easy", 11], ["forget", 21], ["forgot", 21], ["keep", 67], ["keepest", 67], ["keeping", 67], ["pace", 88], ["save", 99], ["saving", 99], ["ass", 107], ["process", 122], ["tone", 133], ["toned", 133], ["toning", 133], ["suggest", 143], ["suggested", 143], ["much", 157], ["hate", 167], ["hateed", 167], ["hated", 167], ["ask", 174], ["asking", 174], ["also", 188], ["sense", 195], ["sensed", 195], ["close", 210], ["limit", 231], ["limited", 231], ["retrieve", 246], ["retrieved", 246], ["gps", 254], ["consult", 281], ["consultest", 281], ["consulting", 281], ["study", 293], ["studied", 293], ["path", 302], ["take", 319], ["taking", 319], ["lip", 330], ["lipped", 330], ["lips", 330], ["press", 338], ["pressed", 338], ["thin", 350], ["thins", 350], ["line", 355], ["stare", 369], ["stared", 369], ["night", 384], ["well", 407], ["wells", 407], ["time", 412], ["count", 427], ["countest", 427], ["counted", 427], ["good", 446], ["keep", 463], ["keepest", 463], ["meet", 490], ["meeted", 490], ["team", 506], ["teamed", 506], ["teaming", 506], ["dawn", 514], ["dawnest", 514], ["slow", 527], ["ca", 537], ["cas", 537], ["bed", 570], ["wait", 582], ["waitest", 582], ["daylight", 595], ["hope", 604], ["hell", 612], ["hells", 612], ["engage", 637], ["feel", 656], ["quiet", 666], ["despair", 674], ["despairing", 674], ["emanate", 684], ["emanating", 684], ["like", 707], ["watch", 716], ["watching", 716], ["balloon", 726], ["deflate", 734], ["square", 757], ["squared", 757], ["shoulder", 771], ["shouldered", 771], ["shoulders", 771], ["chin", 782], ["come", 787], ["came", 787], ["nd", 795], ["chamber", 809], ["chambered", 809], ["another", 817], ["bullet", 824], ["set", 839], ["setting", 839], ["safety", 850], ["pistol", 864], ["let", 883], ["lets", 883], ["go", 889], ["goest", 889], ["say", 903], ["sayest", 903], ["said", 903], ["firm", 921], ["voice", 927], ["chapter", 937], ["foot", 948], ["front", 957], ["block", 978], ["blocks", 978], ["pain", 987], ["grace", 1011], ["repeat", 1020], ["repeatest", 1020], ["repeated", 1020], ["instruction", 1042], ["instructions", 1042], ["long", 1067], ["longs", 1067], ["since", 1073], ["lose", 1078], ["lost", 1078], ["count", 1084], ["countest", 1084], ["many", 1096], ["time", 1102], ["times", 1102], ["stumble", 1118], ["stumbled", 1118], ["right", 1130], ["rightest", 1130], ["righted", 1130], ["determine", 1151], ["determined", 1151], ["rio", 1167], ["perform", 1195], ["performest", 1195], ["performing", 1195], ["rote", 1203], ["sheer", 1220], ["sheering", 1220], ["grit", 1225], ["gritted", 1225], ["upright", 1249], ["move", 1260], ["moving", 1260], ["forward", 1268], ["forwardest", 1268], ["forwarding", 1268], ["play", 1281], ["playest", 1281], ["played", 1281], ["ridiculous", 1297], ["game", 1302], ["top", 1339], ["topped", 1339], ["rise", 1346], ["risen", 1346], ["tell", 1357], ["told", 1357], ["get", 1385], ["next", 1399], ["finally", 1413], ["stop", 1425], ["stopped", 1425], ["pretend", 1436], ["pretendest", 1436], ["pretending", 1436], ["clench", 1460], ["clenched", 1460], ["jaw", 1468], ["jaws", 1468], ["jawed", 1468], ["jawest", 1468], ["blank", 1480], ["blanks", 1480], ["blanked", 1480], ["mind", 1489], ["minding", 1489], ["everything", 1503], ["step", 1529], ["retreat", 1545], ["retreatest", 1545], ["retreated", 1545], ["deep", 1550], ["deeply", 1550], ["inside", 1557], ["exhaustion", 1607], ["fear", 1619], ["fearest", 1619], ["knowledge", 1640], ["die", 1671], ["died", 1671], ["man", 1686], ["mans", 1686], ["manned", 1686], ["risk", 1698], ["riskest", 1698], ["risking", 1698], ["promise", 1730], ["sister", 1755], ["die", 1783], ["weak", 1808], ["pull", 1854], ["pulled", 1854], ["handheld", 1875], ["device", 1882], ["moment", 1906], ["raise", 1921], ["raising", 1921], ["head", 1930], ["stare", 1939], ["stared", 1939], ["distance", 1957], ["distancing", 1957], ["cramp", 1966], ["cramping", 1966], ["cramps", 1966], ["ripple", 1974], ["ripples", 1974], ["rippled", 1974], ["calf", 1993], ["calves", 1993], ["start", 2007], ["started", 2007], ["finger", 2030], ["slid", 2035], ["belt", 2049], ["belts", 2049], ["belted", 2049], ["belting", 2049], ["beltest", 2049], ["loop", 2054], ["looping", 2054], ["clung", 2072], ["last", 2088], ["hour", 2098], ["hours", 2098], ["turn", 2124], ["turned", 2124], ["come", 2133], ["coming", 2133], ["back", 2138], ["instantly", 2155], ["put", 2164], ["hand", 2174], ["hands", 2174], ["tilt", 2202], ["tilting", 2202], ["tilted", 2202], ["face", 2211], ["look", 2219], ["eye", 2233], ["eyed", 2233], ["eyes", 2233], ["grab", 2251], ["arm", 2264], ["arms", 2264], ["knee", 2282], ["knees", 2282], ["buckle", 2290], ["buckled", 2290], ["fall", 2314], ["falls", 2314], ["fallen", 2314], ["hard", 2319], ["hold", 2338], ["held", 2338], ["bite", 2355], ["lip", 2363], ["lipped", 2363], ["cry", 2383], ["crying", 2383], ["knot", 2405], ["knotted", 2405], ["viciously", 2415], ["spread", 2427], ["spreading", 2427], ["foot", 2441], ["feet", 2441], ["toe", 2450], ["toeing", 2450], ["toes", 2450], ["leg", 2462], ["legs", 2462], ["gigantic", 2480], ["cramp", 2486], ["cramping", 2486], ["tell", 2496], ["wrong", 2513], ["demand", 2531], ["demandest", 2531], ["demanded", 2531], ["oh", 2536], ["god", 2540], ["everywhere", 2562], ["ease", 2576], ["eased", 2576], ["onto", 2590], ["ontos", 2590], ["ground", 2601], ["take", 2615], ["took", 2615], ["bend", 2639], ["bent", 2639], ["bending", 2639], ["put", 2669], ["putting", 2669], ["push", 2712], ["pushed", 2712], ["stretch", 2733], ["stretching", 2733], ["warm", 2751], ["massage", 2766], ["massaged", 2766], ["rub", 2777], ["rubbed", 2777], ["ease", 2786], ["easing", 2786], ["tense", 2796], ["muscle", 2804], ["muscles", 2804], ["side", 2818], ["sidest", 2818], ["fumble", 2831], ["fumbled", 2831], ["canteen", 2845], ["canteens", 2845], ["hand", 2856], ["handed", 2856], ["hydrate", 2897], ["hydrated", 2897], ["hydrates", 2897], ["hydrating", 2897], ["enough", 2904], ["drank", 2937], ["drink", 2937], ["drinking", 2937], ["along", 2947], ["stupid", 2956], ["see", 2979], ["seen", 2979], ["drank", 3006], ["drink", 3006], ["drinking", 3006], ["thirstily", 3016], ["long", 3033], ["longs", 3033], ["stood", 3042], ["stand", 3042], ["standest", 3042], ["open", 3055], ["vulnerable", 3080], ["panic", 3144], ["panicked", 3144], ["stay", 3165], ["desperately", 3206], ["far", 3240], ["find", 3250], ["left", 3268], ["leave", 3268], ["come", 3285], ["bullshit", 3307], ["tersely", 3328], ["left", 3370], ["leave", 3370], ["leaving", 3370], ["shut", 3382], ["even", 3395], ["evens", 3395], ["word", 3405], ["words", 3405], ["rudely", 3415], ["good", 3448], ["best", 3448], ["kind", 3453], ["comfort", 3464], ["safe", 3502], ["safes", 3502], ["safed", 3502], ["know", 3568], ["knowest", 3568], ["knew", 3568], ["relieve", 3612], ["relieved", 3612], ["intention", 3637], ["bend", 3690], ["bent", 3690], ["grip", 3703], ["free", 3712], ["hand", 3717], ["behind", 3806], ["hour", 3859], ["infuriate", 3913], ["infuriated", 3913], ["dissolve", 3945], ["dissolved", 3945], ["tear", 3956], ["teared", 3956], ["tears", 3956], ["refuse", 3968], ["refused", 3968], ["roll", 3993], ["rolled", 3993], ["give", 4008], ["given", 4008], ["none", 4026], ["thing", 4042], ["things", 4042], ["harsh", 4054], ["resolve", 4062], ["fool", 4087], ["foolest", 4087], ["fooling", 4087], ["worry", 4122], ["worried", 4122], ["respect", 4134], ["instant", 4177], ["simply", 4222], ["pick", 4227], ["carry", 4244], ["rest", 4257], ["way", 4268], ["ways", 4268], ["wrap", 4282], ["wraps", 4282], ["wrapping", 4282], ["wrapped", 4282], ["around", 4298], ["allow", 4314], ["allowed", 4314], ["haul", 4326], ["hauls", 4326], ["scream", 4362], ["screams", 4362], ["screamed", 4362], ["paralyze", 4413], ["paralyzed", 4413], ["paralyzing", 4413], ["strip", 4435], ["strips", 4435], ["bind", 4443], ["bound", 4443], ["binding", 4443], ["splint", 4454], ["splinted", 4454], ["splinting", 4454], ["arm", 4472], ["unravel", 4486], ["unraveled", 4486], ["stick", 4508], ["stickest", 4508], ["sticks", 4508], ["slip", 4516], ["slipped", 4516]]
kenny rolls her head back , slow and easy . her neck peaks as if calling my lips to bless it . her sleepy eyes send a silent invitation to drown in her kisses . kenny is the heroin and the wine - the choice opiate of the gods , and i want nothing more than to lap her up by the bowlful . `` nope , not pen - just my dad and me . it was the last time he ever made the effort . i keep thinking about how beautiful this place is . in my mind , it 's become this living postcard . '' `` is that why you wanted me to see it ? '' she says it soft , uncertain of what my real intentions might be . i park as deep inside the overgrowth as possible before killing the engine . `` i was sort of hoping to stomp out all those old memories and make some new ones today - with you . '' i reach back and grab the fleece-lined sleeping bag i keep for emergencies . it weighs ten pounds , but you can survive a subarctic winter nestled inside it if you had to . we get out and make our way to the edge . the cliff is blocked off by wood fencing that 's cracked in two places like a car might have tried to plow through , and i know for a fact a couple of them did . a tangerine glow surprises the darkness far in the east and sprays the new day with promise . kenny pulls me in and lays her cushioned lips over mine . `` let 's hop in the back of the truck and start building that memory . '' she dips her iced hand into my sweats , and i take a quick breath . `` sounds like you mean business . let 's give the sun another thirty seconds to show . '' i help her to the hood of the truck then spread the sleeping bag over the roof . `` have i mentioned i 'm afraid of heights ? '' she asks as we climb to the roof . i echo the sentiment . kenny purrs as she washes those pale stone eyes over me . `` hey ... anybody can do the back of the truck , '' she whispers it smooth like a promise . `` but the roof at sunrise ... how would you like to build that memory ? '' `` the roof , '' i muse . `` you , my love , are frightfully brilliant . '' `` and eager to please . '' she peels off her shirt in one lithe move . i pull the sleeping bag over us , slip off both my sweats and kenny 's as though they were one . kenny closes her hand over me and guides me toward my newfound nirvana . i cup her breast and give a gentle squeeze . `` this is my new favorite way to start the day . '' i inhale sharply as she pushes me deep inside her warm body . my hands ride over her smooth skin , and i pull her knees up high to afford maximum entry . i secure her by the shoulders and push in with soft easy waves , trying not to launch either of us off the truck in the process . when kenny walked into my life , she blew all of my bad luck away like dust . kenny is the anti-blair , the one i could love forever and then that would n't be enough . together we were ushering in a new day with all of our explosive passion , the frigid mountain air ca n't cool the fire brewing inside the two of us . kenny peeled away the old memories , the ones born of pain and yearning . she filled in the crevices of my thirsty soul better than my father could have , far better than any of those one-night stands could ever hope to do . this is a new dawn in our lives , the beginning of the best season - the very first bite of sweet , delicious fruit that would satisfy for a lifetime . we ride the waves of our affection , and i hold out until she 's panting , just about to detonate . then i release , and we shake uncontrollably for a few of the most blissful moments that love has to offer . i always want to remember kenny like this - the kiss of a new day , glowing over her skin . `` good or great ? '' i heave the words in her ear through a ragged breath . she plants a wet kiss over my lips . her hair encircles her marble features like a charcoal-colored wreath . her eyes reflect the virginal morning light , clear as cellophane . `` i think we 're perfect kenny . '' i collapse over her just as the sun pierces us with its luminescent joy . we birthed a new memory at sunrise . we made it happen . with kenny all things are possible . weeks sweep by , and the bed and breakfast , much like my mother , is hobbling on its last leg . thank god for molly , crutches , and home health nurses who are willing to pop in every now again .	[["kenny", 5], ["roll", 11], ["rolls", 11], ["head", 20], ["back", 25], ["slow", 32], ["easy", 41], ["neck", 52], ["necked", 52], ["peak", 58], ["peaks", 58], ["call", 72], ["calling", 72], ["lip", 80], ["lipped", 80], ["lips", 80], ["bless", 89], ["blessest", 89], ["sleepy", 105], ["eye", 110], ["eyed", 110], ["eyes", 110], ["send", 115], ["silent", 124], ["invitation", 135], ["drown", 144], ["drowns", 144], ["kiss", 158], ["kisses", 158], ["kissest", 158], ["heroin", 180], ["wine", 193], ["choice", 206], ["opiate", 213], ["opiates", 213], ["opiated", 213], ["god", 225], ["gods", 225], ["nothing", 246], ["lap", 263], ["laps", 263], ["lapping", 263], ["bowlful", 285], ["bowlfuls", 285], ["nope", 295], ["pen", 305], ["dad", 319], ["last", 344], ["time", 349], ["ever", 357], ["everest", 357], ["effort", 373], ["keep", 382], ["keepest", 382], ["think", 391], ["thinkest", 391], ["thinking", 391], ["beautiful", 411], ["beautifulest", 411], ["place", 422], ["mind", 438], ["minding", 438], ["become", 453], ["postcard", 474], ["see", 515], ["say", 532], ["sayest", 532], ["says", 532], ["soft", 540], ["uncertain", 552], ["reis", 568], ["real", 568], ["intention", 579], ["intentions", 579], ["may", 585], ["mays", 585], ["mayest", 585], ["might", 585], ["park", 597], ["parks", 597], ["deep", 605], ["deeply", 605], ["inside", 612], ["overgrowth", 627], ["overgrowths", 627], ["possible", 639], ["kill", 654], ["killing", 654], ["engine", 665], ["sort", 681], ["hoping", 691], ["stomp", 700], ["stomps", 700], ["stomping", 700], ["old", 718], ["memory", 727], ["memories", 727], ["new", 745], ["today", 756], ["reach", 780], ["grab", 794], ["fleece", 805], ["line", 811], ["lined", 811], ["bag", 824], ["bagged", 824], ["bagging", 824], ["emergency", 847], ["emergencies", 847], ["weigh", 859], ["weighest", 859], ["weighs", 859], ["ten", 863], ["pound", 870], ["pounds", 870], ["survive", 892], ["subarctic", 904], ["winter", 911], ["nestle", 919], ["nestles", 919], ["nestled", 919], ["get", 952], ["way", 973], ["ways", 973], ["edge", 985], ["edges", 985], ["cliff", 997], ["cliffs", 997], ["block", 1008], ["blocks", 1008], ["blocked", 1008], ["wood", 1020], ["fencing", 1028], ["crack", 1044], ["cracked", 1044], ["two", 1051], ["twos", 1051], ["place", 1058], ["places", 1058], ["like", 1063], ["car", 1069], ["try", 1086], ["tryed", 1086], ["tried", 1086], ["plow", 1094], ["know", 1115], ["knowest", 1115], ["fact", 1126], ["couple", 1135], ["tangerine", 1161], ["glow", 1166], ["glowest", 1166], ["surprise", 1176], ["surprised", 1176], ["surprises", 1176], ["darkness", 1189], ["far", 1193], ["east", 1205], ["spray", 1216], ["sprayed", 1216], ["sprays", 1216], ["day", 1228], ["promise", 1241], ["pull", 1255], ["pulls", 1255], ["lay", 1270], ["lays", 1270], ["layed", 1270], ["layest", 1270], ["cushion", 1284], ["cushioning", 1284], ["cushioned", 1284], ["mine", 1299], ["let", 1308], ["lets", 1308], ["hop", 1315], ["hops", 1315], ["hopped", 1315], ["hopping", 1315], ["truck", 1340], ["start", 1350], ["build", 1359], ["builds", 1359], ["memory", 1371], ["memories", 1371], ["dip", 1385], ["dips", 1385], ["hand", 1399], ["sweat", 1414], ["sweats", 1414], ["take", 1427], ["quick", 1435], ["breath", 1442], ["breathest", 1442], ["sound", 1454], ["sounds", 1454], ["mean", 1468], ["meanest", 1468], ["business", 1477], ["give", 1491], ["sun", 1499], ["suns", 1499], ["sunned", 1499], ["another", 1507], ["thirty", 1514], ["second", 1522], ["seconded", 1522], ["seconds", 1522], ["show", 1530], ["help", 1542], ["helpest", 1542], ["hood", 1558], ["spread", 1583], ["roof", 1614], ["roofs", 1614], ["roofing", 1614], ["mention", 1636], ["mentioned", 1636], ["afraid", 1648], ["height", 1659], ["heights", 1659], ["ask", 1673], ["asks", 1673], ["climb", 1685], ["echo", 1706], ["echoed", 1706], ["sentiment", 1720], ["purr", 1734], ["purrs", 1734], ["wash", 1748], ["washes", 1748], ["pale", 1759], ["stone", 1765], ["stoning", 1765], ["hey", 1787], ["anybody", 1799], ["whisper", 1846], ["whispers", 1846], ["smooth", 1856], ["sunrise", 1900], ["build", 1932], ["builds", 1932], ["muse", 1973], ["musing", 1973], ["love", 1992], ["frightfully", 2010], ["brilliant", 2020], ["eager", 2038], ["please", 2048], ["peel", 2063], ["peels", 2063], ["shirt", 2077], ["lithe", 2090], ["move", 2095], ["pull", 2104], ["slip", 2136], ["though", 2178], ["close", 2207], ["closes", 2207], ["guide", 2235], ["guides", 2235], ["toward", 2245], ["newfound", 2257], ["nirvana", 2265], ["cup", 2273], ["breast", 2284], ["breasted", 2284], ["breasting", 2284], ["gentle", 2302], ["gentler", 2302], ["squeeze", 2310], ["squeezes", 2310], ["favorite", 2339], ["favoritest", 2339], ["inhale", 2374], ["sharply", 2382], ["push", 2396], ["pushes", 2396], ["warm", 2420], ["body", 2425], ["bodied", 2425], ["hand", 2436], ["hands", 2436], ["ride", 2441], ["rode", 2441], ["skin", 2462], ["knee", 2485], ["knees", 2485], ["high", 2493], ["afford", 2503], ["maxima", 2511], ["maximum", 2511], ["entry", 2517], ["secure", 2528], ["securest", 2528], ["shoulder", 2549], ["shouldered", 2549], ["shoulders", 2549], ["push", 2558], ["wave", 2582], ["waved", 2582], ["waves", 2582], ["try", 2591], ["tryed", 2591], ["trying", 2591], ["launch", 2605], ["either", 2612], ["process", 2647], ["walk", 2667], ["walked", 2667], ["life", 2680], ["lifes", 2680], ["blew", 2691], ["blow", 2691], ["blowest", 2691], ["bad", 2705], ["luck", 2710], ["away", 2715], ["dust", 2725], ["dusting", 2725], ["anti", 2745], ["blair", 2751], ["forever", 2782], ["enough", 2816], ["together", 2827], ["usher", 2844], ["ushering", 2844], ["explosive", 2883], ["passion", 2891], ["frigid", 2904], ["mountain", 2913], ["air", 2917], ["airs", 2917], ["airing", 2917], ["ca", 2920], ["cas", 2920], ["cool", 2929], ["fire", 2938], ["brewing", 2946], ["peel", 2982], ["peeled", 2982], ["bore", 3020], ["bear", 3020], ["bearest", 3020], ["born", 3020], ["pain", 3028], ["yearning", 3041], ["fill", 3054], ["fills", 3054], ["filled", 3054], ["crevice", 3070], ["crevices", 3070], ["thirsty", 3084], ["soul", 3089], ["well", 3096], ["wells", 3096], ["father", 3111], ["fathered", 3111], ["fathering", 3111], ["night", 3163], ["stood", 3170], ["stand", 3170], ["standest", 3170], ["stands", 3170], ["dawn", 3213], ["dawnest", 3213], ["life", 3226], ["lifes", 3226], ["lives", 3226], ["beginning", 3242], ["good", 3254], ["best", 3254], ["season", 3261], ["seasoning", 3261], ["seasonest", 3261], ["first", 3278], ["firstest", 3278], ["bite", 3283], ["sweet", 3292], ["delicious", 3304], ["fruit", 3310], ["satisfy", 3329], ["lifetime", 3344], ["affection", 3381], ["hold", 3394], ["pant", 3419], ["panting", 3419], ["detonate", 3444], ["release", 3461], ["shake", 3476], ["uncontrollably", 3491], ["blissful", 3522], ["moment", 3530], ["moments", 3530], ["offer", 3553], ["always", 3564], ["remember", 3581], ["rememberest", 3581], ["kiss", 3608], ["kisses", 3608], ["kissest", 3608], ["glow", 3631], ["glowest", 3631], ["glowing", 3631], ["good", 3655], ["great", 3664], ["heave", 3677], ["heaves", 3677], ["heaving", 3677], ["word", 3687], ["words", 3687], ["ear", 3698], ["plant", 3735], ["plants", 3735], ["wet", 3741], ["hair", 3770], ["encircle", 3780], ["encircling", 3780], ["encircles", 3780], ["marble", 3791], ["feature", 3800], ["features", 3800], ["charcoal", 3816], ["colored", 3824], ["wreath", 3831], ["wreathest", 3831], ["reflect", 3850], ["reflectest", 3850], ["virginal", 3863], ["morning", 3871], ["lit", 3877], ["light", 3877], ["clear", 3885], ["clearest", 3885], ["cellophane", 3899], ["think", 3912], ["thinkest", 3912], ["perfect", 3927], ["perfectest", 3927], ["collapse", 3949], ["pierce", 3982], ["pierces", 3982], ["luminescent", 4006], ["joy", 4010], ["joys", 4010], ["joyed", 4010], ["birth", 4023], ["birthed", 4023], ["happen", 4067], ["thing", 4091], ["things", 4091], ["week", 4112], ["weeks", 4112], ["sweep", 4118], ["bed", 4135], ["breakfast", 4149], ["much", 4156], ["mother", 4171], ["mothered", 4171], ["motherest", 4171], ["hobble", 4185], ["hobbling", 4185], ["leg", 4201], ["thank", 4209], ["thanks", 4209], ["thankest", 4209], ["god", 4213], ["molly", 4223], ["crutch", 4234], ["crutches", 4234], ["home", 4245], ["homing", 4245], ["health", 4252], ["healths", 4252], ["nurse", 4259], ["nurses", 4259], ["willing", 4275], ["pop", 4282], ["every", 4291]]
he bent and kissed her ear . be right back , love . on the way to the fireplace to throw another block of peat on , he scooped up his mobile and punched a number on speed dial . william rolled his eyes at his cousins mocking tone . sleep in as long as you want . the council will just have to wait . william heard a throaty feminine giggle in the background a split second before owen disconnected . he moved back to the bed and slid under the covers behind her , gathering her close . she sighed and turned into his arms . her husky , satisfied-woman voice washed over the sore place on his shoulder where shed bitten it . it was a spot that would be forever tender , forever treasured . tomorrow , love . zee turned and propped her elbows on his chest , resting her chin on her hands . her silvery eyes studied him for a long moment , gradually turning from sleepy to mischievous . so , you were saying about my not having learned the finer skills ? her pupils slitted and her lip curled in a dangerous smile . then her head disappeared under the covers and headed south . william grinned , but shifted warily . just watch the teeth , love . watch the her mouth closed over him . his back arched involuntarily in almost violent pleasure as his mate went beyond simple choosing and took him on a ride that claimed him as hers alone . with every touch , every stroke , every lick , it was she who captured him , bound him . william gave himself over to it , grabbed the ironwork headboard with both hands ... and held on for dear life . ( return to table of contents ) never too late by xakara the gothic glamour of the dunvegas hotel and casino was lost on gaelle as she headed toward the private elevator to meet evan . it had been a long day and all she could think about was the fact that joel was supposed to be with them . the three of them had planned the trip eighteen months earlier when theyd started their business together . vivify had been joels baby . combining gaelles talents with plant life , evans business sense and immortal contacts , and joels love of adventure , the three had launched an entire line of herbal supplements used to increase preternatural pleasure . it touched on everything from drops to relieve depression , to oils that promoted blood flow to erogenous zones , to creams that when used right , would make even an incubus impressed . joel had built their first greenhouse with his own hands and talked about the day theyd need dozens of warehouses to keep up with the demand once they went national after breaking out at the parapleasures expo . in the first six months , their online business and little boutique shop had boomed to his delight , and it seemed his plans would come to pass . only joel wouldnt live long enough to see it . theyd all known he was on borrowed time . the heart defect hed been born with was a product of his mixed human and daemon heritage . it was inoperable , and as an infant , medical science had given him a life expectancy of five years . alternative medicine and a little preternatural science had added nearly thirty years to that in the end . but finally , at thirty-three , his too-human heart could no longer fuel a more-than-human body and he was gone . it had been a long year without him and she and evan had finally learned to laugh and smile again , but it would never be the same without joel . every smile would be tinged with a touch of sadness . it was supposed to be the three of them . it had always been the three of them . it should have always been so . they were confidants , and co-conspirators , and best friends , and they could have been even more if joel had just lived a little longer . gaelle slowed and looked at the drooping ficus tree tucked into a corner nook beside the elevator . the one there at the start of the day had been proud and vivacious , but over the course of the day had been traded out for this more humble offering . it wasnt a bad tree . the braided trunk was healthy and the branches sturdy , but it seemed nearly as down and depressed as gaelle herself . she walked over and ran a hand across the once-vibrant green leaves . hey little guy , looks like neither one of us is quite in the right mindset for all of this . we should try to perk up for joels sake . shed felt joels spirit for the last few weeks , his vibration getting stronger each time . it was like that the first year after a death if a soul stayed to linger . thered be no way to know if he was sentient and remembered her until he could manifest . not everyone stayed intact when they remained . he might be no more than a strong memory and until she knew , gaelle wasnt getting her hopes up .	[["bend", 7], ["bent", 7], ["kiss", 18], ["kisses", 18], ["kissest", 18], ["kissed", 18], ["ear", 26], ["right", 37], ["rightest", 37], ["back", 42], ["love", 49], ["way", 62], ["ways", 62], ["fireplace", 79], ["throw", 88], ["another", 96], ["block", 102], ["blocks", 102], ["peat", 110], ["scoop", 126], ["scooped", 126], ["mobile", 140], ["mobiles", 140], ["punch", 152], ["punching", 152], ["punched", 152], ["number", 161], ["numbering", 161], ["speed", 170], ["speeding", 170], ["dial", 175], ["william", 185], ["williams", 185], ["roll", 192], ["rolled", 192], ["eye", 201], ["eyed", 201], ["eyes", 201], ["cousin", 216], ["cousins", 216], ["mock", 224], ["mocking", 224], ["tone", 229], ["toned", 229], ["toning", 229], ["slept", 237], ["sleep", 237], ["sleeps", 237], ["sleepest", 237], ["long", 248], ["longs", 248], ["council", 274], ["wait", 297], ["waitest", 297], ["hear", 313], ["hears", 313], ["heard", 313], ["throaty", 323], ["feminine", 332], ["giggle", 339], ["background", 357], ["backgrounding", 357], ["split", 365], ["second", 372], ["seconded", 372], ["owen", 384], ["owens", 384], ["disconnect", 397], ["disconnecting", 397], ["disconnected", 397], ["move", 408], ["moved", 408], ["bed", 424], ["slid", 433], ["cover", 450], ["covers", 450], ["behind", 457], ["gather", 473], ["gatherest", 473], ["close", 483], ["sigh", 496], ["sighest", 496], ["sighed", 496], ["turn", 507], ["turned", 507], ["arm", 521], ["arms", 521], ["husky", 533], ["satisfied", 545], ["woman", 551], ["womans", 551], ["voice", 557], ["wash", 564], ["washed", 564], ["sore", 578], ["place", 584], ["shoulder", 600], ["shouldered", 600], ["shed", 611], ["bite", 618], ["bitten", 618], ["spot", 637], ["forever", 659], ["tender", 666], ["tenderest", 666], ["treasure", 686], ["treasured", 686], ["tomorrow", 697], ["tomorrows", 697], ["zee", 710], ["prop", 729], ["propped", 729], ["elbow", 740], ["elbowing", 740], ["elbows", 740], ["chest", 753], ["rest", 763], ["resting", 763], ["chin", 772], ["hand", 785], ["hands", 785], ["silvery", 799], ["study", 812], ["studied", 812], ["moment", 834], ["gradually", 846], ["turn", 854], ["turning", 854], ["sleepy", 866], ["mischievous", 881], ["say", 904], ["sayest", 904], ["saying", 904], ["learn", 932], ["learnt", 932], ["learns", 932], ["learned", 932], ["fine", 942], ["skill", 949], ["skills", 949], ["pupil", 962], ["pupils", 962], ["slitted", 970], ["lip", 982], ["lipped", 982], ["curl", 989], ["curls", 989], ["curled", 989], ["dangerous", 1004], ["smile", 1010], ["head", 1026], ["disappear", 1038], ["disappeared", 1038], ["head", 1066], ["headed", 1066], ["south", 1072], ["grin", 1090], ["grinned", 1090], ["shift", 1104], ["shifted", 1104], ["warily", 1111], ["watch", 1124], ["tooth", 1134], ["teeth", 1134], ["mouth", 1163], ["mouthed", 1163], ["close", 1170], ["closed", 1170], ["arch", 1197], ["arched", 1197], ["involuntarily", 1211], ["almost", 1221], ["violent", 1229], ["pleasure", 1238], ["mate", 1250], ["mated", 1250], ["go", 1255], ["goest", 1255], ["went", 1255], ["beyond", 1262], ["simple", 1269], ["simplest", 1269], ["take", 1287], ["took", 1287], ["ride", 1301], ["rode", 1301], ["claim", 1314], ["claimed", 1314], ["alone", 1332], ["every", 1345], ["touch", 1351], ["touching", 1351], ["stroke", 1366], ["lick", 1379], ["capture", 1405], ["captured", 1405], ["bind", 1417], ["bound", 1417], ["give", 1436], ["gave", 1436], ["grab", 1465], ["grabbed", 1465], ["ironwork", 1478], ["headboard", 1488], ["hold", 1517], ["held", 1517], ["dear", 1529], ["dearest", 1529], ["life", 1534], ["lifes", 1534], ["return", 1545], ["returnest", 1545], ["table", 1554], ["tabled", 1554], ["tabling", 1554], ["content", 1566], ["contenting", 1566], ["contents", 1566], ["never", 1574], ["late", 1583], ["lates", 1583], ["gothic", 1604], ["glamour", 1612], ["hotel", 1634], ["casino", 1645], ["lose", 1654], ["lost", 1654], ["toward", 1685], ["private", 1697], ["elevator", 1706], ["meet", 1714], ["meeted", 1714], ["evan", 1719], ["evans", 1719], ["day", 1744], ["think", 1768], ["thinkest", 1768], ["fact", 1787], ["joel", 1797], ["suppose", 1810], ["supposed", 1810], ["three", 1838], ["plan", 1858], ["planned", 1858], ["trip", 1867], ["tripping", 1867], ["eighteen", 1876], ["eighteens", 1876], ["month", 1883], ["months", 1883], ["early", 1891], ["start", 1910], ["started", 1910], ["business", 1925], ["together", 1934], ["vivify", 1943], ["joel", 1958], ["baby", 1963], ["combine", 1975], ["combining", 1975], ["talent", 1991], ["talents", 1991], ["plant", 2002], ["sense", 2030], ["immortal", 2043], ["contact", 2052], ["contacts", 2052], ["adventure", 2082], ["launch", 2107], ["launched", 2107], ["entire", 2117], ["line", 2122], ["herbal", 2132], ["supplement", 2144], ["supplementing", 2144], ["supplements", 2144], ["use", 2149], ["used", 2149], ["increase", 2161], ["preternatural", 2175], ["touch", 2197], ["touching", 2197], ["touched", 2197], ["everything", 2211], ["drop", 2222], ["drops", 2222], ["relieve", 2233], ["relieved", 2233], ["depression", 2244], ["oil", 2254], ["oils", 2254], ["promote", 2268], ["promotes", 2268], ["promoted", 2268], ["blood", 2274], ["bloods", 2274], ["blooded", 2274], ["flow", 2279], ["flows", 2279], ["erogenous", 2292], ["zone", 2298], ["zones", 2298], ["cream", 2310], ["creamest", 2310], ["creams", 2310], ["even", 2349], ["evens", 2349], ["incubus", 2360], ["build", 2387], ["builds", 2387], ["built", 2387], ["first", 2399], ["firstest", 2399], ["greenhouse", 2410], ["talk", 2440], ["talked", 2440], ["need", 2465], ["needest", 2465], ["dozen", 2472], ["dozens", 2472], ["warehouse", 2486], ["warehousing", 2486], ["warehouses", 2486], ["keep", 2494], ["keepest", 2494], ["demand", 2513], ["demandest", 2513], ["national", 2537], ["break", 2552], ["broke", 2552], ["breaking", 2552], ["expo", 2582], ["six", 2601], ["online", 2623], ["little", 2643], ["boutique", 2652], ["shop", 2657], ["boom", 2668], ["boomed", 2668], ["delight", 2683], ["seem", 2699], ["seeming", 2699], ["seemed", 2699], ["plan", 2709], ["plans", 2709], ["come", 2720], ["pass", 2728], ["live", 2753], ["enough", 2765], ["see", 2772], ["know", 2793], ["knowest", 2793], ["known", 2793], ["borrow", 2812], ["borrowest", 2812], ["borrowed", 2812], ["time", 2817], ["heart", 2829], ["defect", 2836], ["bore", 2850], ["bear", 2850], ["bearest", 2850], ["born", 2850], ["product", 2869], ["human", 2888], ["daemon", 2899], ["heritage", 2908], ["inoperable", 2928], ["infant", 2947], ["medical", 2957], ["science", 2965], ["give", 2975], ["given", 2975], ["expectancy", 2997], ["five", 3005], ["fived", 3005], ["year", 3011], ["years", 3011], ["alternative", 3025], ["medicine", 3034], ["medicines", 3034], ["add", 3079], ["added", 3079], ["nearly", 3086], ["thirty", 3093], ["end", 3118], ["ends", 3118], ["endest", 3118], ["finally", 3132], ["long", 3188], ["longs", 3188], ["fuel", 3193], ["body", 3216], ["bodied", 3216], ["go", 3232], ["goest", 3232], ["gone", 3232], ["year", 3258], ["without", 3266], ["laugh", 3316], ["tinge", 3408], ["tinged", 3408], ["sadness", 3432], ["always", 3490], ["confidant", 3568], ["confidants", 3568], ["co", 3577], ["conspirator", 3590], ["conspirators", 3590], ["good", 3601], ["best", 3601], ["friend", 3609], ["friends", 3609], ["live", 3669], ["lived", 3669], ["slow", 3701], ["slowed", 3701], ["look", 3712], ["looked", 3712], ["droop", 3728], ["drooped", 3728], ["drooping", 3728], ["ficus", 3734], ["tree", 3739], ["treed", 3739], ["treeing", 3739], ["tuck", 3746], ["tucked", 3746], ["tucking", 3746], ["corner", 3760], ["nook", 3765], ["beside", 3772], ["start", 3814], ["proud", 3840], ["vivacious", 3854], ["course", 3876], ["trade", 3903], ["traded", 3903], ["humble", 3928], ["humblest", 3928], ["offering", 3937], ["bad", 3954], ["braid", 3973], ["braided", 3973], ["trunk", 3979], ["healthy", 3991], ["branch", 4008], ["branchest", 4008], ["branches", 4008], ["sturdy", 4015], ["depress", 4060], ["depressed", 4060], ["walk", 4091], ["walked", 4091], ["run", 4104], ["ran", 4104], ["hand", 4111], ["across", 4118], ["vibrant", 4135], ["green", 4141], ["greens", 4141], ["left", 4148], ["leave", 4148], ["leaves", 4148], ["hey", 4154], ["guy", 4165], ["look", 4173], ["looks", 4173], ["like", 4178], ["neither", 4186], ["quite", 4205], ["mindset", 4226], ["mindsets", 4226], ["try", 4258], ["tryed", 4258], ["perk", 4266], ["sake", 4284], ["sakes", 4284], ["feel", 4296], ["felt", 4296], ["spirit", 4309], ["spirited", 4309], ["last", 4322], ["week", 4332], ["weeks", 4332], ["vibration", 4348], ["get", 4356], ["getting", 4356], ["strong", 4365], ["death", 4423], ["soul", 4433], ["stay", 4440], ["stayed", 4440], ["linger", 4450], ["lingered", 4450], ["know", 4477], ["knowest", 4477], ["sentient", 4496], ["remember", 4511], ["rememberest", 4511], ["remembered", 4511], ["manifest", 4539], ["everyone", 4554], ["intact", 4568], ["remain", 4587], ["remained", 4587], ["may", 4598], ["mays", 4598], ["mayest", 4598], ["might", 4598], ["strong", 4623], ["memory", 4630], ["memories", 4630], ["know", 4649], ["knowest", 4649], ["knew", 4649], ["hope", 4682], ["hopes", 4682]]
`` not a bit of it , mrs. fraser , '' she said . `` the bonnie wee laddie 's caught six mice in here in the past two days . '' she beamed fondly at adso , who had leaped down and was lapping broth as fast as his tiny pink tongue could move . `` yon cheetie 's welcome to anything he likes from my hearth . '' `` oh , has he ? he can come and have a go at the ones in my surgery , then . '' we were presently entertaining a plague of mice ; driven indoors by cold weather , they skittered along the baseboards like shadows after nightfall , and even in broad daylight , shot suddenly across floors and leaped out of opened cupboards , causing minor heart failure and broken dishes . `` well , ye can scarcely blame the mice , '' mrs. bug observed , darting a quick glance at me . `` they go where the food is , after all . '' the pool of broth had nearly drained through the muslim , leaving a thick coating of flotsam behind . i scraped this off and dropped it on adso 's saucer , then scooped up a fresh ladle of broth . `` yes , they do , '' i said , evenly . `` and i 'm sorry about it , but the mold is important . it 's medicine , and i- '' `` oh , aye ! of course it is , '' she assured me hurriedly . there was no tinge of sarcasm in her voice , which rather surprised me . she hesitated , then reached through the slit in her skirt , into the capacious pocket that she wore beneath . `` there was a man , as lived in auchterlonie-where we had our hoose , arch and me , in the village there . he was a carline , was johnnie howlat , and folk went wary near him-but they went . some went by day , for grass cures and graiths , and some went by night , for to buy charms . ye 'll ken the sort ? '' she darted another glance at me , and i nodded , a little uncertainly . i knew the sort of person she meant ; some highland charmers dealt not only in remedies-the `` graiths '' she 'd mentioned-but also in minor magic , selling lovephilters , fertility potions ... ill wishes . something cold slid down my back and vanished , leaving in its wake a faint feeling of unease , like the slime trail of a snail . i swallowed , seeing in memory the small bunch of thorny plants , so carefully bound with red thread and with black . placed beneath my pillow by a jealous girl named laoghaire-purchased from a witch named geillis duncan . a witch like me . was that what mrs. bug was getting at ? `` carline '' was not a word i was certain of , though i thought it meant `` witch , '' or something like it . she was regarding me thoughtfully , her normal animation quite subdued . `` he was a filthy wee mannie , johnnie howlat was . he 'd no woman to do for him , and his cot smelt of dreadful things . she shivered suddenly , in spite of the fire at her back . `` ye 'd see him , sometimes , in the wood or on the moor , pokin ' at the ground . he 'd find creatures that had died , maybe , and bring back their skins and their feet , bones and teeth for to make his charms . he wore a wretched auld smock , like a farmer , and sometimes ye 'd see him comin ' doon the path wi ' something pooched up under his smock , and stains of blood-and other things-seepin ' through the cloth . '' `` sounds most unpleasant , '' i said , eyes fixed on the bottle as i scraped the cloth again and ladled more broth . `` but people went to him anyway ? '' `` there was no one else , '' she said simply , and i looked up . her dark eyes fixed unblinkingly on mine , and her hand moved slowly , fingering something inside her pocket . `` i didna ken at first , '' she said . `` for johnnie kept mool from the graveyard and bone dust and hen 's blood and all manner of such things , but you '' -she nodded thoughtfully at me , white kerch immaculate in the fire-glow- '' ye 're a cleanly sort . '' `` thank you , '' i said , both amused and touched . that was a high compliment from mrs. bug . `` bar the moldy bread , '' she added , the corners of her mouth primming slightly . `` and that heathen wee pooch ye keep in your cabinet . but it 's true , no ? ye 're a charmer , like johnnie was ? '' the memory of cranesmuir was vivid in my mind , as it had not been for many years .	[["bit", 12], ["bits", 12], ["mrs", 24], ["fraser", 32], ["say", 46], ["sayest", 46], ["said", 46], ["bonnie", 62], ["wee", 66], ["weest", 66], ["laddie", 73], ["catch", 83], ["catches", 83], ["catched", 83], ["caught", 83], ["six", 87], ["mice", 92], ["mouse", 92], ["past", 112], ["two", 116], ["twos", 116], ["day", 121], ["days", 121], ["beam", 137], ["beamed", 137], ["fondly", 144], ["leap", 169], ["leaps", 169], ["leaping", 169], ["leaped", 169], ["lap", 190], ["laps", 190], ["lapping", 190], ["broth", 196], ["fast", 204], ["tiny", 216], ["pink", 221], ["tongue", 228], ["tonguing", 228], ["move", 239], ["yon", 248], ["welcome", 267], ["anything", 279], ["like", 288], ["likes", 288], ["hearth", 303], ["oh", 314], ["come", 337], ["go", 351], ["goest", 351], ["surgery", 377], ["surgeries", 377], ["presently", 407], ["entertain", 420], ["entertains", 420], ["entertaining", 420], ["plague", 429], ["plagued", 429], ["drive", 446], ["driven", 446], ["indoor", 454], ["indoors", 454], ["cold", 462], ["weather", 470], ["skitter", 487], ["along", 493], ["baseboard", 508], ["baseboards", 508], ["like", 513], ["shadow", 521], ["shadowed", 521], ["shadows", 521], ["nightfall", 537], ["even", 548], ["evens", 548], ["broad", 557], ["broads", 557], ["daylight", 566], ["shoot", 573], ["shooted", 573], ["shot", 573], ["suddenly", 582], ["across", 589], ["floor", 596], ["floors", 596], ["open", 621], ["opened", 621], ["cupboard", 631], ["cupboards", 631], ["cause", 641], ["causing", 641], ["minor", 647], ["heart", 653], ["failure", 661], ["dish", 679], ["dished", 679], ["dishes", 679], ["well", 689], ["wells", 689], ["ye", 694], ["yed", 694], ["scarcely", 707], ["blame", 713], ["blamest", 713], ["bug", 736], ["bugged", 736], ["observe", 745], ["observed", 745], ["dart", 755], ["darted", 755], ["darting", 755], ["quick", 763], ["glance", 770], ["food", 804], ["foods", 804], ["pool", 833], ["nearly", 853], ["drain", 861], ["drained", 861], ["muslim", 880], ["muslims", 880], ["muslimest", 880], ["left", 890], ["leave", 890], ["leaving", 890], ["thick", 898], ["thickest", 898], ["coating", 906], ["flotsam", 917], ["behind", 924], ["scrape", 936], ["scraped", 936], ["drop", 957], ["dropped", 957], ["saucer", 978], ["scoop", 993], ["scooped", 993], ["fresh", 1004], ["freshest", 1004], ["ladle", 1010], ["yes", 1028], ["evenly", 1059], ["sorry", 1079], ["mold", 1103], ["molding", 1103], ["important", 1116], ["medicine", 1133], ["medicines", 1133], ["aye", 1157], ["ayes", 1157], ["course", 1169], ["assure", 1192], ["assured", 1192], ["hurriedly", 1205], ["tinge", 1226], ["sarcasm", 1237], ["voice", 1250], ["rather", 1265], ["surprise", 1275], ["surprised", 1275], ["hesitate", 1294], ["hesitated", 1294], ["reach", 1309], ["reached", 1309], ["slit", 1326], ["skirt", 1339], ["capacious", 1360], ["pocket", 1367], ["pocketing", 1367], ["wear", 1381], ["wore", 1381], ["beneath", 1389], ["man", 1410], ["mans", 1410], ["manned", 1410], ["live", 1421], ["lived", 1421], ["hoose", 1460], ["arch", 1467], ["village", 1491], ["carline", 1516], ["johnnie", 1530], ["folk", 1548], ["go", 1553], ["goest", 1553], ["went", 1553], ["wary", 1558], ["near", 1563], ["day", 1600], ["grass", 1612], ["grassing", 1612], ["cure", 1618], ["cures", 1618], ["graith", 1630], ["night", 1655], ["buy", 1668], ["buyed", 1668], ["charm", 1675], ["charmest", 1675], ["charms", 1675], ["ken", 1688], ["kent", 1688], ["sort", 1697], ["dart", 1713], ["darted", 1713], ["another", 1721], ["nod", 1749], ["nodded", 1749], ["little", 1760], ["uncertainly", 1772], ["know", 1781], ["knowest", 1781], ["knew", 1781], ["person", 1800], ["mean", 1810], ["meanest", 1810], ["meant", 1810], ["highland", 1826], ["charmers", 1835], ["deal", 1841], ["dealt", 1841], ["remedy", 1862], ["remedies", 1862], ["mention", 1897], ["mentioned", 1897], ["also", 1906], ["magic", 1921], ["sell", 1931], ["sells", 1931], ["selling", 1931], ["fertility", 1956], ["potion", 1964], ["potions", 1964], ["ill", 1972], ["ills", 1972], ["illest", 1972], ["wish", 1979], ["wishes", 1979], ["slid", 2001], ["back", 2014], ["vanish", 2027], ["vanishest", 2027], ["vanished", 2027], ["wake", 2049], ["wakes", 2049], ["woken", 2049], ["faint", 2057], ["feeling", 2065], ["unease", 2075], ["uneased", 2075], ["slime", 2092], ["slimed", 2092], ["trail", 2098], ["snail", 2109], ["swallow", 2123], ["swallows", 2123], ["swallowed", 2123], ["see", 2132], ["seeing", 2132], ["memory", 2142], ["memories", 2142], ["small", 2152], ["bunch", 2158], ["bunchest", 2158], ["thorny", 2168], ["plant", 2175], ["plants", 2175], ["carefully", 2190], ["bind", 2196], ["bound", 2196], ["red", 2205], ["thread", 2212], ["black", 2227], ["place", 2236], ["placed", 2236], ["pillow", 2254], ["jealous", 2267], ["girl", 2272], ["name", 2278], ["named", 2278], ["purchase", 2298], ["purchased", 2298], ["witch", 2311], ["witched", 2311], ["duncan", 2332], ["get", 2387], ["getting", 2387], ["word", 2421], ["certain", 2435], ["though", 2447], ["think", 2457], ["thinkest", 2457], ["thought", 2457], ["regard", 2521], ["regarding", 2521], ["thoughtfully", 2537], ["normal", 2550], ["animation", 2560], ["quite", 2566], ["subdue", 2574], ["subdued", 2574], ["filthy", 2595], ["mannie", 2606], ["woman", 2644], ["womans", 2644], ["cot", 2672], ["smell", 2678], ["smelt", 2678], ["smellest", 2678], ["dreadful", 2690], ["thing", 2697], ["things", 2697], ["shiver", 2712], ["shivering", 2712], ["shivered", 2712], ["spite", 2732], ["spited", 2732], ["spites", 2732], ["fire", 2744], ["see", 2771], ["wood", 2801], ["moor", 2816], ["moored", 2816], ["ground", 2840], ["find", 2853], ["creature", 2863], ["creatures", 2863], ["die", 2877], ["died", 2877], ["maybe", 2885], ["bring", 2897], ["skin", 2914], ["skins", 2914], ["foot", 2929], ["feet", 2929], ["bone", 2937], ["bonest", 2937], ["bones", 2937], ["tooth", 2947], ["teeth", 2947], ["auld", 2996], ["smock", 3002], ["farmer", 3018], ["doon", 3061], ["path", 3070], ["wi", 3073], ["pooch", 3093], ["pooched", 3093], ["stain", 3125], ["stainest", 3125], ["stains", 3125], ["blood", 3134], ["bloods", 3134], ["blooded", 3134], ["cloth", 3178], ["sound", 3193], ["sounds", 3193], ["unpleasant", 3209], ["eye", 3228], ["eyed", 3228], ["eyes", 3228], ["fix", 3234], ["fixes", 3234], ["fixed", 3234], ["bottle", 3248], ["bottled", 3248], ["ladle", 3288], ["ladled", 3288], ["people", 3315], ["anyway", 3334], ["else", 3364], ["simply", 3385], ["look", 3400], ["looked", 3400], ["dark", 3414], ["unblinkingly", 3438], ["hand", 3461], ["move", 3467], ["moved", 3467], ["slowly", 3474], ["finger", 3486], ["fingering", 3486], ["inside", 3503], ["didna", 3527], ["first", 3540], ["firstest", 3540], ["keep", 3576], ["keepest", 3576], ["kept", 3576], ["graveyard", 3600], ["bone", 3609], ["bonest", 3609], ["dust", 3614], ["dusting", 3614], ["hen", 3622], ["manner", 3646], ["manners", 3646], ["white", 3713], ["kerch", 3719], ["immaculate", 3730], ["cleanly", 3768], ["thank", 3787], ["thanks", 3787], ["thankest", 3787], ["amuse", 3817], ["amused", 3817], ["touch", 3829], ["touching", 3829], ["touched", 3829], ["high", 3847], ["compliment", 3858], ["bar", 3881], ["moldy", 3891], ["bread", 3897], ["breads", 3897], ["add", 3912], ["added", 3912], ["corner", 3926], ["corners", 3926], ["mouth", 3939], ["mouthed", 3939], ["prim", 3948], ["primmed", 3948], ["primming", 3948], ["slightly", 3957], ["heathen", 3979], ["heathens", 3979], ["pooch", 3989], ["keep", 3997], ["keepest", 3997], ["cabinet", 4013], ["true", 4030], ["vivid", 4113], ["mind", 4124], ["minding", 4124], ["many", 4154], ["year", 4160], ["years", 4160]]
`` please , '' he repeated , his eyes shining in the darkness . `` you were just dancing . '' `` not slow dancing . i 'll step on your toes and injure you with these heels . or i 'll trip and end up on the floor , and you 'll be humiliated . you 're already angry with me ... '' her lower lip began to tremble more noticeably . he took a step closer , and she pressed herself more tightly against the wall , almost as if she was trying to disappear through it in order to escape him . he took her hand and regally lifted it to his lips . then with a smile firmly on his face , he inched forward , leaning down and bringing his mouth to her ear . julia 's skin vibrated with his nearness and the feel of his breath across her skin . `` julianne , how could i stay angry with someone so sweet ? i promise i wo n't become cross or humiliated . you 'll be able to dance with me . '' his whisper was bracing and soft , sexual and seductive , scotch and peppermint . he took her hand in his , and the same familiar spark coursed across her skin . as he waited for her to respond , he felt her still beneath his touch , and he wondered at the strange reaction she was having to him . it seemed as if his charm was actually working , even though she 'd been shaking a moment before . `` please , professor , '' she breathed , fixating on his shirt front , unwilling to meet his gaze . `` i thought we were supposed to be gabriel and julianne tonight . '' `` you do n't really want to dance with me . it 's just the scotch talking . '' his eyebrows shot up , and he had to bite back a harsh retort . she was pushing his buttons , almost as if she knew exactly which buttons to push and when . `` one slow dance . `` why would you want to dance with a virgin ? '' she whispered , suddenly fascinated by the bows on her shoes . `` not just any virgin , but you , julianne . i thought you might want to dance with someone who was n't about to molest you on the dance floor and take liberties with you in front of a club full of sexually-aggressive men . '' she appeared skeptical but said nothing . `` i 'm trying to keep the wolves at bay , '' he said , his voice low . a lion in charge of wolves , she thought . he had n't made a joke ; he was looking at her seriously , his intense blue eyes boring into hers . `` one dance with me and they 'll know enough to leave you alone . that should be an improvement over the current state of affairs . '' `` if i 'm very lucky , no one will bother you for the rest of the evening , and i wo n't have to guard my charge so closely . '' she bristled at his characterization but relented , realizing that at this stage of his life he was used to getting his way - always . it was n't always that way , though , was it gabriel ? `` what shall we dance to ? '' he persuaded her to reenter the lounge , placing a hand on her lower back . `` i 'll request whatever you want . how about nine inch nails ? maybe a little closer ? '' he grinned in order to indicate that he was kidding . but julia was n't looking at his face , she was watching the floor so she did n't trip and embarrass herself and the professor . nevertheless , as soon as the name of that song left his lips , she froze . he nearly ran into the back of her she stopped so suddenly . through the tips of his fingers he felt the marked coolness of her body and immediately and fiercely regretted ever suggesting that song . he moved to regard her face , and what he saw troubled him deeply . `` julianne , look at me . '' her breathing paused . obediently , she raised her wide brown eyes to his and looked up at him through her long eyelashes . he saw fear and radical unease on her face , and something inside of him twisted . and in poor taste . i would never request that song for a dance with you . it would be the worst form of blasphemy , to expose someone like you to words like that . '' julia 's eyelashes fluttered in her confusion . `` i know i 've been a bit of a - stronzo tonight . but i 'll choose something nice . unwilling to release her for fear she might bolt , gabriel brought her to the dj 's booth and slipped him a bill , whispering his request . the dj nodded and smiled , saluting julia before he searched for the requested song . gabriel walked her to the dance floor and pulled her in close - but not too close . he noticed that her hands , which were so much smaller than his , had begun to sweat .	[["please", 9], ["repeat", 26], ["repeatest", 26], ["repeated", 26], ["eye", 37], ["eyed", 37], ["eyes", 37], ["shine", 45], ["shone", 45], ["shined", 45], ["shining", 45], ["darkness", 61], ["dance", 88], ["dancing", 88], ["slow", 105], ["step", 126], ["toe", 139], ["toeing", 139], ["toes", 139], ["injure", 150], ["injures", 150], ["heel", 171], ["heeled", 171], ["heels", 171], ["trip", 187], ["tripping", 187], ["end", 195], ["ends", 195], ["endest", 195], ["floor", 211], ["humiliate", 239], ["humiliated", 239], ["already", 257], ["angry", 263], ["low", 288], ["lowed", 288], ["lip", 292], ["lipped", 292], ["begin", 298], ["began", 298], ["tremble", 309], ["trembles", 309], ["noticeably", 325], ["take", 335], ["took", 335], ["close", 349], ["closer", 349], ["press", 367], ["pressed", 367], ["tightly", 388], ["wall", 405], ["almost", 414], ["try", 435], ["tryed", 435], ["trying", 435], ["disappear", 448], ["order", 468], ["orderest", 468], ["escape", 478], ["escapes", 478], ["hand", 501], ["regally", 513], ["lift", 520], ["lifted", 520], ["lip", 535], ["lipped", 535], ["lips", 535], ["smile", 555], ["firmly", 562], ["face", 574], ["inch", 586], ["inched", 586], ["forward", 594], ["forwardest", 594], ["forwarding", 594], ["lean", 604], ["leans", 604], ["leaning", 604], ["bring", 622], ["bringing", 622], ["mouth", 632], ["mouthed", 632], ["ear", 643], ["julia", 651], ["skin", 659], ["vibrate", 668], ["vibrated", 668], ["nearness", 686], ["feel", 699], ["breath", 713], ["breathest", 713], ["across", 720], ["julianne", 743], ["stay", 762], ["sweet", 790], ["promise", 802], ["wo", 807], ["become", 818], ["cross", 824], ["crossing", 824], ["able", 856], ["abled", 856], ["dance", 865], ["whisper", 890], ["brace", 902], ["braced", 902], ["bracing", 902], ["soft", 911], ["sexual", 920], ["seductive", 934], ["scotch", 943], ["peppermint", 958], ["familiar", 1008], ["spark", 1014], ["sparking", 1014], ["course", 1022], ["coursed", 1022], ["wait", 1053], ["waitest", 1053], ["waited", 1053], ["respond", 1072], ["respondest", 1072], ["feel", 1082], ["felt", 1082], ["still", 1092], ["beneath", 1100], ["touch", 1110], ["touching", 1110], ["wonder", 1128], ["wonderest", 1128], ["wondered", 1128], ["strange", 1143], ["reaction", 1152], ["seem", 1186], ["seeming", 1186], ["seemed", 1186], ["charm", 1202], ["charmest", 1202], ["work", 1223], ["wrought", 1223], ["working", 1223], ["even", 1230], ["evens", 1230], ["though", 1237], ["shake", 1257], ["shaking", 1257], ["moment", 1266], ["professor", 1297], ["breathes", 1315], ["breathed", 1315], ["fixate", 1326], ["fixates", 1326], ["fixating", 1326], ["shirt", 1339], ["front", 1345], ["unwilling", 1357], ["meet", 1365], ["meeted", 1365], ["gaze", 1374], ["gazes", 1374], ["think", 1389], ["thinkest", 1389], ["thought", 1389], ["suppose", 1406], ["supposed", 1406], ["gabriel", 1420], ["tonight", 1441], ["really", 1467], ["talk", 1521], ["talking", 1521], ["eyebrow", 1539], ["eyebrows", 1539], ["shoot", 1544], ["shooted", 1544], ["shot", 1544], ["back", 1573], ["harsh", 1581], ["retort", 1588], ["retortest", 1588], ["push", 1606], ["pushing", 1606], ["button", 1618], ["buttoning", 1618], ["buttons", 1618], ["know", 1642], ["knowest", 1642], ["knew", 1642], ["exactly", 1650], ["push", 1672], ["virgin", 1748], ["whisper", 1767], ["whispered", 1767], ["suddenly", 1778], ["fascinate", 1789], ["fascinated", 1789], ["bow", 1801], ["bows", 1801], ["shoe", 1814], ["shoed", 1814], ["shoes", 1814], ["may", 1882], ["mays", 1882], ["mayest", 1882], ["might", 1882], ["molest", 1937], ["molesting", 1937], ["take", 1969], ["liberty", 1979], ["liberties", 1979], ["club", 2007], ["clubbed", 2007], ["clubbing", 2007], ["full", 2012], ["sexually", 2024], ["aggressive", 2035], ["man", 2039], ["mans", 2039], ["manned", 2039], ["men", 2039], ["appear", 2057], ["appeared", 2057], ["skeptical", 2067], ["say", 2076], ["sayest", 2076], ["said", 2076], ["nothing", 2084], ["keep", 2109], ["keepest", 2109], ["wolf", 2120], ["wolves", 2120], ["bay", 2127], ["voice", 2152], ["low", 2156], ["lowed", 2156], ["lion", 2165], ["charge", 2175], ["joke", 2224], ["jokes", 2224], ["look", 2241], ["looking", 2241], ["seriously", 2258], ["intense", 2272], ["blue", 2277], ["bore", 2289], ["bored", 2289], ["boring", 2289], ["know", 2340], ["knowest", 2340], ["enough", 2347], ["left", 2356], ["leave", 2356], ["alone", 2366], ["improvement", 2398], ["current", 2415], ["state", 2421], ["affair", 2432], ["affairs", 2432], ["lucky", 2459], ["bother", 2480], ["bothers", 2480], ["bothering", 2480], ["rest", 2497], ["evening", 2512], ["guard", 2541], ["closely", 2562], ["bristle", 2580], ["bristled", 2580], ["characterization", 2604], ["relent", 2617], ["relented", 2617], ["realize", 2629], ["realizing", 2629], ["stage", 2648], ["staging", 2648], ["life", 2660], ["lifes", 2660], ["use", 2672], ["used", 2672], ["get", 2683], ["getting", 2683], ["way", 2691], ["ways", 2691], ["always", 2700], ["shall", 2771], ["persuade", 2801], ["persuaded", 2801], ["reenter", 2816], ["lounge", 2827], ["lounges", 2827], ["place", 2837], ["placing", 2837], ["request", 2881], ["requestest", 2881], ["whatever", 2890], ["nine", 2916], ["inch", 2921], ["nail", 2927], ["nails", 2927], ["maybe", 2935], ["little", 2944], ["grin", 2967], ["grinned", 2967], ["indicate", 2988], ["kid", 3008], ["kidding", 3008], ["watch", 3067], ["watching", 3067], ["embarrass", 3111], ["embarrassed", 3111], ["nevertheless", 3152], ["soon", 3162], ["name", 3174], ["song", 3187], ["left", 3192], ["leave", 3192], ["froze", 3213], ["frozen", 3213], ["freeze", 3213], ["freezing", 3213], ["nearly", 3225], ["run", 3229], ["ran", 3229], ["stop", 3262], ["stopped", 3262], ["tip", 3293], ["tips", 3293], ["finger", 3308], ["fingers", 3308], ["coolness", 3336], ["body", 3348], ["bodied", 3348], ["immediately", 3364], ["fiercely", 3377], ["regret", 3387], ["regretted", 3387], ["ever", 3392], ["everest", 3392], ["suggest", 3403], ["suggesting", 3403], ["move", 3424], ["moved", 3424], ["regard", 3434], ["see", 3461], ["saw", 3461], ["trouble", 3470], ["troubling", 3470], ["troubled", 3470], ["deeply", 3481], ["look", 3502], ["breathing", 3527], ["pause", 3534], ["paused", 3534], ["obediently", 3547], ["raise", 3560], ["raised", 3560], ["wide", 3569], ["brown", 3575], ["browns", 3575], ["look", 3598], ["looked", 3598], ["long", 3625], ["longs", 3625], ["eyelash", 3635], ["eyelashes", 3635], ["fear", 3649], ["fearest", 3649], ["radical", 3661], ["unease", 3668], ["uneased", 3668], ["inside", 3703], ["twist", 3718], ["twisted", 3718], ["twisting", 3718], ["poor", 3732], ["taste", 3738], ["never", 3754], ["bad", 3817], ["worst", 3817], ["form", 3822], ["formest", 3822], ["blasphemy", 3835], ["expose", 3847], ["like", 3860], ["word", 3873], ["words", 3873], ["flutter", 3917], ["fluttering", 3917], ["fluttered", 3917], ["confusion", 3934], ["bit", 3963], ["bits", 3963], ["choose", 4005], ["nice", 4020], ["release", 4043], ["bolt", 4071], ["bolts", 4071], ["bolted", 4071], ["bring", 4089], ["brought", 4089], ["dj", 4103], ["booth", 4112], ["slip", 4124], ["slipped", 4124], ["bill", 4135], ["whisper", 4148], ["whispering", 4148], ["nod", 4176], ["nodded", 4176], ["smile", 4187], ["smiled", 4187], ["salute", 4198], ["saluting", 4198], ["search", 4223], ["searched", 4223], ["request", 4241], ["requestest", 4241], ["requested", 4241], ["walk", 4263], ["walked", 4263], ["pull", 4297], ["pulled", 4297], ["close", 4310], ["notice", 4343], ["noticed", 4343], ["hand", 4358], ["hands", 4358], ["much", 4379], ["small", 4387], ["begin", 4408], ["begun", 4408], ["sweat", 4417]]
i asked as i climbed into the passenger seat of low 's volvo . i 'd been hoping to smooth things over with eva before i left today but she 'd been prickly so i 'd kept my distance . no reason to ruffle her feathers in front of low . `` so you noticed that too ? i 've got no idea what i did to set her off but i got the distinct impression that she did not like me bringing you clean sheets and making up your bed for you , '' low shot me a warning glare . `` you have n't done anything with her , have you cage ? i almost felt like i was betraying eva if i told low the truth . but hell i had to tell someone . low was the best friend i had and she was a female . maybe she could help me figure this out . `` she is n't exactly engaged , '' i began . i saw the diamond on her left hand . '' `` yeah , i know that but the guy who put that ring on her finger was killed in baghdad eighteen months ago . '' low 's sharp intake of breath was followed by an , `` ohmygod . '' `` the guy i thought she was engaged to turned out to be her fiance 's twin . they 're just good friends . '' `` but she still wears the ring , '' low whispered . `` how incredibly sad . when did she tell you this ? '' i wondered if she ever would tell me this . last night , even though it had sent her running , that had been one helluva kiss . even before the kiss we 'd talked and she 'd laughed . not just smiled but she 'd laughed . jeremy did . '' he 's her fiance 's twin ? '' `` that just breaks my heart , cage . '' the ache that throbbed in my chest when i let myself think about eva 's pain returned . `` she is n't the bitch she appears to be . she 's really a lot of fun if you can get past her walls of steel . '' low cleared her throat and shifted in her seat . `` do i take it this means you got past those steel walls ? '' i made her smile and laugh . jeremy said she had n't smiled since the day before josh 's death . '' low reached over and patted my knee . `` if she 's smart enough to let you in , the real you , not the one you share with the females whose panties you just want to get in , then she 's a smart woman . '' `` it ai n't about her panties . '' i replied , reaching down to squeeze her hand . `` no , cage with you , it is about her panties at least a little bit . but i think that maybe this time you want more . '' did i want more ? was it just because she was so damn hard to get ? or did i really want more ? the panties are always on my priority list . '' low shook her head and laughed . live bay is n't the same without you there with us . i even think preston may have shed a tear when you were n't there to sing kid rock 's part of picture when they played it over the speakers while the band was on break . '' `` did he sing sheryl crow and kid 's parts all by himself ? '' `` yes , unfortunately he did . standing on the table with some random stranger 's brush in his hands as his microphone . '' `` bet that was funny as shit , '' i replied . `` or nightmare-worthy . depends on how you look at it . '' ~*~ the one-hour trip with marcus was easier this time . he was n't pissed off the entire trip . probably because low was so damn happy i had n't been fired yet . after he dropped me off , i thought of stopping by the house and talking to eva . her dad 's truck was still gone . she probably would n't be real thrilled about me showing up at her door at nine o'clock at night . might just need to wait until she came to me . before i could get to the far end of the house , i heard the gravel crunch in the driveway as a car pulled in . turning around , i checked to make sure it was wilson . i did n't want just anyone showing up with eva alone in the house . the passenger side to jeremy 's truck swung open and eva jumped out . `` cageisback ! '' she slurred happily . her hand was gripping the side of the door to steady herself . dammit , i told you to wait on me . you 're gon na fall down on the gravel and get hurt . '' jeremy ran around the front of the truck and quickly wrapped his arm around eva 's waist . `` she 's drunk ? '' i asked in amazement as i walked back toward the driveway still not sure i was seeing what it looked like . `` hammered is more like it .	[["ask", 7], ["asked", 7], ["climb", 20], ["climbed", 20], ["passenger", 39], ["seat", 44], ["low", 51], ["lowed", 51], ["volvo", 60], ["hope", 79], ["hoping", 79], ["smooth", 89], ["thing", 96], ["things", 96], ["eva", 110], ["left", 124], ["leave", 124], ["today", 130], ["prickly", 154], ["keep", 167], ["keepest", 167], ["kept", 167], ["distance", 179], ["distancing", 179], ["reason", 191], ["reasonest", 191], ["ruffle", 201], ["ruffles", 201], ["feather", 214], ["feathers", 214], ["front", 223], ["notice", 250], ["noticed", 250], ["get", 271], ["got", 271], ["idea", 279], ["set", 297], ["distinct", 328], ["impression", 339], ["like", 361], ["bring", 373], ["bringing", 373], ["clean", 383], ["cleans", 383], ["sheet", 390], ["sheets", 390], ["bed", 413], ["shoot", 435], ["shooted", 435], ["shot", 435], ["warning", 448], ["glare", 454], ["anything", 486], ["cage", 511], ["almost", 522], ["feel", 527], ["felt", 527], ["betray", 548], ["betrayed", 548], ["betraying", 548], ["tell", 562], ["told", 562], ["truth", 576], ["hell", 587], ["hells", 587], ["tell", 601], ["good", 628], ["best", 628], ["friend", 635], ["female", 662], ["maybe", 670], ["help", 685], ["helpest", 685], ["figure", 695], ["exactly", 728], ["engage", 736], ["engaged", 736], ["begin", 749], ["began", 749], ["see", 757], ["saw", 757], ["diamond", 769], ["hand", 786], ["yeah", 799], ["know", 808], ["knowest", 808], ["guy", 825], ["put", 833], ["rung", 843], ["rang", 843], ["ring", 843], ["finger", 857], ["kill", 868], ["killed", 868], ["baghdad", 879], ["eighteen", 888], ["eighteens", 888], ["month", 895], ["months", 895], ["ago", 899], ["sharp", 917], ["sharps", 917], ["intake", 924], ["breath", 934], ["breathest", 934], ["follow", 947], ["followed", 947], ["think", 992], ["thinkest", 992], ["thought", 992], ["turn", 1018], ["turned", 1018], ["fiance", 1039], ["twin", 1047], ["good", 1068], ["friend", 1076], ["friends", 1076], ["still", 1098], ["wear", 1104], ["wears", 1104], ["whisper", 1132], ["whispered", 1132], ["incredibly", 1152], ["sad", 1156], ["wonder", 1201], ["wonderest", 1201], ["wondered", 1201], ["ever", 1213], ["everest", 1213], ["last", 1239], ["night", 1245], ["even", 1252], ["evens", 1252], ["though", 1259], ["send", 1271], ["sent", 1271], ["running", 1283], ["helluva", 1311], ["kiss", 1316], ["kisses", 1316], ["kissest", 1316], ["talk", 1352], ["talked", 1352], ["laugh", 1371], ["laughed", 1371], ["smile", 1389], ["smiled", 1389], ["jeremy", 1417], ["break", 1476], ["broke", 1476], ["breaks", 1476], ["heart", 1485], ["ache", 1506], ["ached", 1506], ["throb", 1520], ["throbs", 1520], ["throbbed", 1520], ["throbbing", 1520], ["chest", 1532], ["let", 1543], ["lets", 1543], ["think", 1556], ["thinkest", 1556], ["pain", 1574], ["return", 1583], ["returnest", 1583], ["returned", 1583], ["bitch", 1609], ["appear", 1621], ["appears", 1621], ["really", 1643], ["lot", 1649], ["fun", 1656], ["get", 1671], ["past", 1676], ["wall", 1686], ["walls", 1686], ["steel", 1695], ["clear", 1712], ["clearest", 1712], ["cleared", 1712], ["throat", 1723], ["shift", 1735], ["shifted", 1735], ["take", 1762], ["mean", 1776], ["meanest", 1776], ["means", 1776], ["smile", 1829], ["laugh", 1839], ["say", 1853], ["sayest", 1853], ["said", 1853], ["since", 1878], ["day", 1886], ["josh", 1898], ["joshing", 1898], ["death", 1907], ["reach", 1924], ["reached", 1924], ["pat", 1940], ["patted", 1940], ["knee", 1948], ["smart", 1969], ["enough", 1976], ["reis", 2001], ["real", 2001], ["share", 2029], ["female", 2046], ["females", 2046], ["whose", 2052], ["pantie", 2060], ["panties", 2060], ["woman", 2112], ["womans", 2112], ["ai", 2126], ["reply", 2163], ["replied", 2163], ["reach", 2174], ["reaching", 2174], ["squeeze", 2190], ["squeezes", 2190], ["least", 2258], ["leastest", 2258], ["little", 2267], ["bit", 2271], ["bits", 2271], ["time", 2306], ["damn", 2379], ["damned", 2379], ["hard", 2384], ["always", 2444], ["priority", 2459], ["list", 2464], ["shake", 2479], ["shook", 2479], ["head", 2488], ["live", 2507], ["bay", 2511], ["without", 2535], ["preston", 2576], ["may", 2580], ["mays", 2580], ["mayest", 2580], ["shed", 2590], ["tear", 2597], ["teared", 2597], ["sung", 2629], ["sing", 2629], ["kid", 2633], ["rock", 2638], ["part", 2646], ["parting", 2646], ["picture", 2657], ["play", 2674], ["playest", 2674], ["played", 2674], ["speaker", 2695], ["speakers", 2695], ["band", 2710], ["break", 2723], ["broke", 2723], ["sheryl", 2750], ["crow", 2755], ["part", 2772], ["parting", 2772], ["parts", 2772], ["yes", 2799], ["unfortunately", 2815], ["stood", 2833], ["stand", 2833], ["standest", 2833], ["standing", 2833], ["table", 2846], ["tabled", 2846], ["tabling", 2846], ["random", 2863], ["stranger", 2872], ["brush", 2881], ["brushest", 2881], ["hand", 2894], ["hands", 2894], ["microphone", 2912], ["microphones", 2912], ["bet", 2924], ["funny", 2939], ["shit", 2947], ["nightmare", 2980], ["nightmares", 2980], ["worthy", 2987], ["depend", 2997], ["depends", 2997], ["look", 3013], ["hour", 3041], ["trip", 3046], ["tripping", 3046], ["marcus", 3058], ["easy", 3069], ["easier", 3069], ["entire", 3114], ["probably", 3130], ["happy", 3160], ["fire", 3181], ["fired", 3181], ["yet", 3185], ["drop", 3204], ["dropped", 3204], ["stop", 3235], ["stopping", 3235], ["house", 3248], ["talk", 3260], ["talking", 3260], ["dad", 3277], ["truck", 3286], ["go", 3301], ["goest", 3301], ["show", 3360], ["showing", 3360], ["door", 3375], ["nine", 3383], ["may", 3408], ["mays", 3408], ["mayest", 3408], ["might", 3408], ["need", 3418], ["needest", 3418], ["wait", 3426], ["waitest", 3426], ["come", 3441], ["came", 3441], ["far", 3479], ["end", 3483], ["ends", 3483], ["endest", 3483], ["hear", 3506], ["hears", 3506], ["heard", 3506], ["gravel", 3517], ["crunch", 3524], ["driveway", 3540], ["car", 3549], ["pull", 3556], ["pulled", 3556], ["turn", 3569], ["turning", 3569], ["around", 3576], ["check", 3588], ["checked", 3588], ["sure", 3601], ["wilson", 3615], ["anyone", 3644], ["alone", 3670], ["side", 3704], ["sidest", 3704], ["swing", 3729], ["swung", 3729], ["open", 3734], ["jump", 3749], ["jumps", 3749], ["jumped", 3749], ["slur", 3786], ["slurred", 3786], ["happily", 3794], ["grip", 3818], ["gripping", 3818], ["steady", 3849], ["dammit", 3866], ["gon", 3907], ["na", 3910], ["nas", 3910], ["fall", 3915], ["falls", 3915], ["hurt", 3947], ["hurts", 3947], ["hurting", 3947], ["run", 3963], ["ran", 3963], ["quickly", 4005], ["wrap", 4013], ["wraps", 4013], ["wrapping", 4013], ["wrapped", 4013], ["arm", 4021], ["waist", 4041], ["drunk", 4059], ["amazement", 4085], ["walk", 4097], ["walked", 4097], ["back", 4102], ["toward", 4109], ["see", 4150], ["seeing", 4150], ["look", 4165], ["looked", 4165], ["hammer", 4184], ["hammered", 4184]]
i 'm afraid you 're mistaken-no , do n't touch that . he fumbled with her hands , which seemed determined to unfasten his belt . she said something else in the unfamiliar tongue . he did n't understand a word , but he got the sense of it well enough . `` no , i 'm a married man . would ye stop ! '' she laughed , gave him a flashing glance from under long black lashes , and renewed her assault on his person . he would have been convinced he was hallucinating , were it not for the smell . engaged at close quarters , he realized that onions were the least of it . she was n't filthy to look at , but had the deep-seated reek of someone just off a long sea voyage ; he recognized that smell at once . beyond that , though , the unmistakable scent of pigs wafted from her skirts . `` excusez-moi , mademoiselle . '' jamie 's voice came from somewhere behind him , sounding rather startled . the girl was startled , too , though not frightened . she let go of his balls , though , allowing him to step back . jamie had a pistol drawn , though he held it by his side . he raised one eyebrow at roger . struggling for composure , roger shook himself back into some kind of order . `` i thought she was bonnet or one of his men , but evidently not . '' fraser seemed disposed to find something humorous in the situation ; a muscle near his mouth was twitching fiercely . `` qui etes-vous , mademoiselle ? '' she frowned at him , clearly not understanding , and said something in the odd language again . both jamie 's brows rose at that . `` what 's she speaking ? '' his look of amusement tinged with wariness , jamie turned toward the door , raising his pistol . `` watch her , aye ? she 'll no be alone . '' this was clear ; there were voices on the wharf . a man 's voice , and another woman . roger exchanged baffled glances with jamie . no , the voice was neither bonnet 's nor lyon's-and what in god 's name were all these women doing here ? the voices were coming closer , though , and the girl suddenly called out something in her own language . it did n't sound like a warning , but jamie quickly flattened himself beside the door , pistol at the ready and his other hand on his dirk . the narrow door darkened almost completely , and a dark , shaggy head thrust into the shed . jamie stepped forward and shoved his pistol up under the chin of a very large , very surprised-looking man . seizing the man by the collar , jamie stepped backward , drawing him into the shed . the man was followed almost at once by a woman whose tall , solid build and handsome face identified her at once as the girl 's mother . the woman was blond , though , while the man-the girl 's father ? -was as dark as the bear he strongly resembled . he was nearly as tall as jamie , but almost twice as broad , massive through the chest and shoulders , and heavily bearded . none of them appeared to be at all alarmed . the man looked surprised , the woman affronted . the girl laughed heartily , pointing at jamie , then at roger . `` i begin to feel rather foolish , '' jamie said to roger . removing the pistol , he stepped back warily . `` wer seid ihr ? '' `` i do n't think they 're german , '' roger said . `` she '' -he jerked a thumb at the girl , who was now eyeing jamie in an appraising sort of way , as though sizing up his potential for sport in the straw- '' didna seem to understand either french or german , though perhaps she was pretending . '' the man had been frowning , glancing from jamie to roger in an attempt to make out what they were saying . at the word `` french , '' though , he seemed to brighten . he said , in the most execrable accent roger had ever heard . jamie said , still eyeing the man cautiously . the giant smiled and put a callused thumb and forefinger an inch apart . `` un peu . '' a very little peu , as they shortly discovered . the man had roughly a dozen words of french , just about enough to introduce himself as one mikhail chemodurow , his wife iva , and his daughter , karina . `` rooshki , '' chemodurow said , slapping a hand across his beefy chest . roger stared at them , flabbergasted , though jamie seemed fascinated . `` i 've never met a russian before , '' he said . `` what in christ 's name are they doing here , though ? ''	[["afraid", 11], ["mistake", 28], ["mistook", 28], ["mistaken", 28], ["touch", 46], ["touching", 46], ["fumble", 64], ["fumbled", 64], ["hand", 79], ["hands", 79], ["seem", 94], ["seeming", 94], ["seemed", 94], ["unfasten", 117], ["unfastens", 117], ["belt", 126], ["belts", 126], ["belted", 126], ["belting", 126], ["beltest", 126], ["say", 137], ["sayest", 137], ["said", 137], ["else", 152], ["unfamiliar", 170], ["tongue", 177], ["tonguing", 177], ["understand", 201], ["understanded", 201], ["word", 208], ["get", 221], ["got", 221], ["sense", 231], ["well", 242], ["wells", 242], ["enough", 249], ["married", 274], ["man", 278], ["mans", 278], ["manned", 278], ["ye", 289], ["yed", 289], ["stop", 294], ["laugh", 311], ["laughed", 311], ["give", 318], ["gave", 318], ["flash", 333], ["flashing", 333], ["glance", 340], ["long", 356], ["longs", 356], ["black", 362], ["lash", 369], ["lashes", 369], ["renew", 383], ["renews", 383], ["renewed", 383], ["assault", 395], ["person", 409], ["convince", 440], ["convinced", 440], ["convincing", 440], ["hallucinate", 461], ["hallucinating", 461], ["smell", 489], ["smelt", 489], ["smellest", 489], ["engage", 499], ["engaged", 499], ["close", 508], ["quarter", 517], ["quartering", 517], ["quarters", 517], ["realize", 531], ["realized", 531], ["onion", 543], ["onions", 543], ["least", 558], ["leastest", 558], ["filthy", 585], ["look", 593], ["deep", 615], ["deeply", 615], ["seat", 622], ["seated", 622], ["reek", 627], ["reeks", 627], ["sea", 658], ["voyage", 665], ["voyaged", 665], ["recognize", 681], ["recognized", 681], ["beyond", 709], ["though", 723], ["unmistakable", 742], ["scent", 748], ["scentest", 748], ["pig", 756], ["pigged", 756], ["pigging", 756], ["pigs", 756], ["waft", 763], ["wafts", 763], ["skirt", 779], ["skirts", 779], ["moi", 796], ["mademoiselle", 811], ["jamie", 822], ["voice", 831], ["come", 836], ["came", 836], ["somewhere", 851], ["behind", 858], ["sound", 873], ["sounding", 873], ["rather", 880], ["girl", 900], ["let", 953], ["lets", 953], ["go", 956], ["goest", 956], ["ball", 969], ["balls", 969], ["allow", 989], ["allowing", 989], ["step", 1001], ["back", 1006], ["pistol", 1027], ["draw", 1033], ["draws", 1033], ["drawn", 1033], ["hold", 1050], ["held", 1050], ["side", 1065], ["sidest", 1065], ["raise", 1077], ["raised", 1077], ["eyebrow", 1089], ["roger", 1098], ["rogers", 1098], ["struggle", 1111], ["struggling", 1111], ["composure", 1125], ["shake", 1139], ["shook", 1139], ["kind", 1167], ["order", 1176], ["orderest", 1176], ["think", 1191], ["thinkest", 1191], ["thought", 1191], ["bonnet", 1206], ["man", 1224], ["mans", 1224], ["manned", 1224], ["men", 1224], ["evidently", 1240], ["fraser", 1256], ["find", 1280], ["humorous", 1299], ["situation", 1316], ["muscle", 1327], ["near", 1332], ["mouth", 1342], ["mouthed", 1342], ["twitch", 1356], ["twitching", 1356], ["twitchest", 1356], ["fiercely", 1365], ["frown", 1416], ["frowns", 1416], ["frowned", 1416], ["clearly", 1433], ["understand", 1451], ["understanded", 1451], ["odd", 1483], ["language", 1492], ["languaged", 1492], ["brow", 1520], ["brows", 1520], ["rise", 1525], ["risen", 1525], ["rose", 1525], ["speak", 1559], ["spoken", 1559], ["speaking", 1559], ["amusement", 1586], ["tinge", 1593], ["tinged", 1593], ["wariness", 1607], ["turn", 1622], ["turned", 1622], ["toward", 1629], ["door", 1638], ["raise", 1648], ["raising", 1648], ["watch", 1670], ["aye", 1680], ["ayes", 1680], ["alone", 1702], ["clear", 1722], ["clearest", 1722], ["voice", 1742], ["voices", 1742], ["wharf", 1755], ["another", 1786], ["woman", 1792], ["womans", 1792], ["exchange", 1810], ["exchanged", 1810], ["glance", 1826], ["glances", 1826], ["neither", 1866], ["god", 1903], ["name", 1911], ["woman", 1932], ["womans", 1932], ["women", 1932], ["come", 1968], ["coming", 1968], ["close", 1975], ["closer", 1975], ["suddenly", 2008], ["call", 2015], ["called", 2015], ["sound", 2068], ["like", 2073], ["warning", 2083], ["quickly", 2103], ["flatten", 2113], ["flattens", 2113], ["flattened", 2113], ["beside", 2128], ["ready", 2159], ["hand", 2178], ["dirk", 2190], ["narrow", 2203], ["darken", 2217], ["darkened", 2217], ["almost", 2224], ["completely", 2235], ["dark", 2248], ["shaggy", 2257], ["head", 2262], ["thrust", 2269], ["shed", 2283], ["step", 2299], ["stepped", 2299], ["forward", 2307], ["forwardest", 2307], ["forwarding", 2307], ["shove", 2318], ["shoved", 2318], ["chin", 2347], ["large", 2363], ["look", 2388], ["looking", 2388], ["seize", 2402], ["seizes", 2402], ["seizing", 2402], ["collar", 2424], ["collared", 2424], ["backward", 2449], ["draw", 2459], ["draws", 2459], ["drawn", 2459], ["drawing", 2459], ["follow", 2500], ["followed", 2500], ["whose", 2532], ["tall", 2537], ["solid", 2545], ["build", 2551], ["builds", 2551], ["handsome", 2564], ["handsomes", 2564], ["face", 2569], ["identify", 2580], ["identified", 2580], ["mother", 2614], ["mothered", 2614], ["motherest", 2614], ["blond", 2636], ["father", 2680], ["fathered", 2680], ["fathering", 2680], ["bore", 2707], ["bear", 2707], ["bearest", 2707], ["strongly", 2719], ["resemble", 2729], ["resembled", 2729], ["nearly", 2745], ["twice", 2781], ["broad", 2790], ["broads", 2790], ["massive", 2800], ["chest", 2818], ["shoulder", 2832], ["shouldered", 2832], ["shoulders", 2832], ["heavily", 2846], ["none", 2861], ["appear", 2878], ["appeared", 2878], ["alarm", 2899], ["alarmed", 2899], ["look", 2916], ["looked", 2916], ["affront", 2948], ["affronted", 2948], ["heartily", 2976], ["point", 2987], ["pointing", 2987], ["begin", 3025], ["feel", 3033], ["foolish", 3048], ["remove", 3084], ["removing", 3084], ["warily", 3120], ["wer", 3129], ["seid", 3134], ["think", 3161], ["thinkest", 3161], ["german", 3177], ["germen", 3177], ["germans", 3177], ["jerk", 3216], ["jerks", 3216], ["jerked", 3216], ["thumb", 3224], ["thumbed", 3224], ["eye", 3257], ["eyed", 3257], ["appraise", 3280], ["appraising", 3280], ["sort", 3285], ["way", 3292], ["ways", 3292], ["size", 3311], ["sizing", 3311], ["potential", 3328], ["sport", 3338], ["didna", 3361], ["seem", 3366], ["seeming", 3366], ["either", 3387], ["french", 3394], ["perhaps", 3421], ["pretend", 3440], ["pretendest", 3440], ["pretending", 3440], ["frown", 3471], ["frowns", 3471], ["glance", 3482], ["glancing", 3482], ["attempt", 3516], ["say", 3550], ["sayest", 3550], ["saying", 3550], ["brighten", 3610], ["brightens", 3610], ["execrable", 3644], ["accent", 3651], ["accenting", 3651], ["ever", 3666], ["everest", 3666], ["hear", 3672], ["hears", 3672], ["heard", 3672], ["still", 3693], ["cautiously", 3719], ["giant", 3731], ["smile", 3738], ["smiled", 3738], ["put", 3746], ["forefinger", 3778], ["inch", 3786], ["apart", 3792], ["un", 3800], ["little", 3823], ["shortly", 3845], ["discover", 3856], ["discovered", 3856], ["roughly", 3878], ["dozen", 3886], ["word", 3892], ["words", 3892], ["introduce", 3935], ["mikhail", 3958], ["wife", 3980], ["iva", 3984], ["daughter", 4003], ["karina", 4012], ["slap", 4057], ["slaps", 4057], ["slapped", 4057], ["across", 4071], ["beefy", 4081], ["stare", 4102], ["stared", 4102], ["flabbergast", 4126], ["flabbergasting", 4126], ["flabbergasted", 4126], ["never", 4176], ["meet", 4180], ["meeted", 4180], ["met", 4180], ["russian", 4190], ["russians", 4190], ["christ", 4230]]
then , just to drive us crazy , they could have locked the kitchen door after them , but not this one . '' `` i would have recognized the sound of the dead bolt being locked , '' eve said . `` i was n't sure about the door closing , because it was only a soft click , but that dead bolt going in is a much louder noise . '' `` and that could be why they did n't lock it . both of us would have been out of bed like a shot . '' eve remembered the sated , lazy feeling of lying in bed with charlie . `` maybe not quite that fast . '' `` as fast as humanly possible , then . it was only that i was n't sure of what i 'd heard , and i wanted it to be something else . '' she 'd felt so warm and cozy with charlie 's body tucked in around hers . `` you have a nice way of not crushing a girl afterward . '' `` weight distribution . my forearms and my knees can keep approximately half the weight elevated . '' eve did her best not to laugh , but she had to swallow hard . between the scary parts of tonight and the lusty parts , all her emotions were turned up to full volume . `` and since the other half is evenly distributed , '' charlie continued , `` it puts minimal stress on- '' a snort escaped , despite her best efforts . charlie sounded offended . she lifted her head to gaze into his wonderful , intelligent face . `` you are such a nerd . the words were no sooner out of her mouth than she wanted them back . the nerd part was fine , but she could have gone all night without making a comment that included the i-word . his expression registered the impact of that word , too . she could tell he was trying to think of a response that would n't embarrass them both . `` i did n't mean that the way it sounded , '' she said . `` it 's just one of those expressions everybody uses . '' his gaze told her that he did n't buy it . but he smiled like the nice guy he was . chapter eighteen close call , charlie thought as he released eve and went back to the kitchen to get his jacket and put on his boots . good thing they had something to do right now , or no telling what kind of confessions they 'd both make . instead , they could concentrate on this breaking-and-entering situation . by the time he came back to the entryway , eve had on her jacket and boots and was smiling brightly . she was smiling a little too brightly , as if mentioning the word love in connection with him had all been a silly misunderstanding and she was moving past that moment as fast as possible . `` after we check the car , we need to see if anything 's been disturbed in the garage , '' she said . he pretended to be all business , when all he could hear ringing in his ears was `` and i love that about you . '' if she only knew how close he 'd come to blurting out his feelings for her , too . that would n't do either one of them any favors . he tried not to think about the fact that she might be falling for him just as he was falling for her . but he thought about it anyway as they walked out the door . she took her keys and made a production of locking up once they were outside on the porch . he was glad to see she was being extra cautious . he did n't want to contemplate what he 'd do if anything happened to her . she was fast becoming the most important person in his life . hell , what a mess . she was everything he 'd ever wanted-brainy , fun to be with , creative , sexy . he was also aware of her beauty , but that was n't the tipping point for him . he was falling for her because she got him . and he liked to think that he got her , too . they might be-what was that corny term ? he 'd never believed in the concept before , but then he 'd never seriously considered eve as a life partner . and he still could n't do that . because of the way he felt about her , he could never ask her to give up her dream of living in what she considered the ideal little town . he 'd researched the area around hoover dam . there were no quaint little villages there . vegas itself was big , modern , and busy . he found the concept exciting , but she was n't into exciting cities at the moment . sure , the neighboring towns of henderson and boulder were smaller , but they were n't anything like middlesex . new england generated its own brand of cozy little community , and middlesex was a perfect example . if she loved this , he could n't imagine her loving nevada . he could change his plans and stay here , of course . that option had crossed his mind more than once , and he 'd ended up rejecting it every time . the thought of staying in middlesex forever caused something vital in him to start withering .	[["drive", 20], ["crazy", 29], ["lock", 54], ["locked", 54], ["kitchen", 66], ["kitchens", 66], ["door", 71], ["recognize", 133], ["recognized", 133], ["sound", 143], ["dead", 155], ["bolt", 160], ["bolts", 160], ["bolted", 160], ["eve", 182], ["say", 187], ["sayest", 187], ["said", 187], ["sure", 207], ["closing", 230], ["soft", 259], ["click", 265], ["go", 292], ["goest", 292], ["going", 292], ["much", 305], ["loud", 312], ["noise", 318], ["lock", 366], ["bed", 409], ["like", 414], ["shot", 421], ["remember", 441], ["rememberest", 441], ["remembered", 441], ["lazy", 458], ["feeling", 466], ["lay", 475], ["lie", 475], ["lain", 475], ["lying", 475], ["charlie", 495], ["maybe", 506], ["quite", 516], ["fast", 526], ["humanly", 553], ["possible", 562], ["hear", 622], ["hears", 622], ["heard", 622], ["else", 661], ["feel", 678], ["felt", 678], ["warm", 686], ["cozy", 695], ["body", 716], ["bodied", 716], ["tuck", 723], ["tucked", 723], ["tucking", 723], ["around", 733], ["nice", 759], ["way", 763], ["ways", 763], ["crush", 779], ["crushest", 779], ["crushing", 779], ["girl", 786], ["afterward", 796], ["weight", 811], ["weighted", 811], ["weightest", 811], ["distribution", 824], ["forearm", 838], ["forearms", 838], ["knee", 851], ["knees", 851], ["keep", 860], ["keepest", 860], ["approximately", 874], ["half", 879], ["elevate", 899], ["elevated", 899], ["good", 921], ["best", 921], ["laugh", 934], ["swallow", 959], ["swallows", 959], ["hard", 964], ["scary", 984], ["part", 990], ["parting", 990], ["parts", 990], ["tonight", 1001], ["lusty", 1015], ["emotion", 1040], ["emotions", 1040], ["turn", 1052], ["turned", 1052], ["full", 1063], ["volume", 1070], ["volumed", 1070], ["since", 1085], ["evenly", 1110], ["distribute", 1122], ["distributes", 1122], ["distributed", 1122], ["continue", 1145], ["continued", 1145], ["put", 1158], ["puts", 1158], ["minimal", 1166], ["stress", 1173], ["snort", 1188], ["snortest", 1188], ["escape", 1196], ["escapes", 1196], ["escaped", 1196], ["despite", 1206], ["effort", 1223], ["efforts", 1223], ["sound", 1241], ["sounded", 1241], ["offend", 1250], ["offended", 1250], ["lift", 1263], ["lifted", 1263], ["head", 1272], ["gaze", 1280], ["gazes", 1280], ["wonderful", 1299], ["intelligent", 1313], ["face", 1318], ["nerd", 1343], ["word", 1355], ["words", 1355], ["soon", 1370], ["mouth", 1387], ["mouthed", 1387], ["back", 1413], ["part", 1429], ["parting", 1429], ["fine", 1438], ["go", 1464], ["goest", 1464], ["gone", 1464], ["night", 1474], ["without", 1482], ["comment", 1499], ["include", 1513], ["included", 1513], ["word", 1524], ["expression", 1541], ["register", 1552], ["registered", 1552], ["impact", 1563], ["tell", 1599], ["try", 1613], ["tryed", 1613], ["trying", 1613], ["think", 1622], ["thinkest", 1622], ["response", 1636], ["embarrass", 1661], ["embarrassed", 1661], ["mean", 1691], ["meanest", 1691], ["expression", 1770], ["expressions", 1770], ["use", 1785], ["uses", 1785], ["tell", 1804], ["told", 1804], ["buy", 1828], ["buyed", 1828], ["smile", 1847], ["smiled", 1847], ["guy", 1865], ["chapter", 1882], ["eighteen", 1891], ["eighteens", 1891], ["close", 1897], ["call", 1902], ["think", 1920], ["thought", 1920], ["thinkest", 1920], ["release", 1935], ["released", 1935], ["go", 1948], ["goest", 1948], ["went", 1948], ["get", 1975], ["jacket", 1986], ["jacketed", 1986], ["put", 1994], ["boot", 2007], ["boots", 2007], ["good", 2014], ["thing", 2020], ["right", 2051], ["rightest", 2051], ["tell", 2071], ["telling", 2071], ["kind", 2081], ["confession", 2096], ["confessions", 2096], ["instead", 2124], ["concentrate", 2149], ["concentrated", 2149], ["concentrates", 2149], ["enter", 2179], ["entering", 2179], ["situation", 2189], ["time", 2203], ["come", 2211], ["came", 2211], ["entryway", 2232], ["smile", 2282], ["smiling", 2282], ["brightly", 2291], ["little", 2318], ["mention", 2350], ["mentioning", 2350], ["love", 2364], ["connection", 2378], ["silly", 2408], ["misunderstanding", 2425], ["move", 2444], ["moving", 2444], ["past", 2449], ["moment", 2461], ["check", 2501], ["car", 2509], ["need", 2519], ["needest", 2519], ["see", 2526], ["anything", 2538], ["disturb", 2556], ["disturbed", 2556], ["garage", 2570], ["pretend", 2599], ["pretendest", 2599], ["pretended", 2599], ["business", 2618], ["hear", 2643], ["hears", 2643], ["rung", 2651], ["rang", 2651], ["ring", 2651], ["ringing", 2651], ["ear", 2663], ["ears", 2663], ["know", 2718], ["knowest", 2718], ["knew", 2718], ["come", 2739], ["blurt", 2751], ["blurting", 2751], ["feeling", 2768], ["feelings", 2768], ["either", 2809], ["favor", 2832], ["favorest", 2832], ["favors", 2832], ["try", 2843], ["tryed", 2843], ["tried", 2843], ["fact", 2871], ["may", 2886], ["mays", 2886], ["mayest", 2886], ["might", 2886], ["fall", 2897], ["falls", 2897], ["falling", 2897], ["anyway", 2969], ["walk", 2984], ["walked", 2984], ["take", 3008], ["took", 3008], ["key", 3017], ["keyed", 3017], ["keyest", 3017], ["keys", 3017], ["production", 3039], ["lock", 3050], ["locking", 3050], ["outside", 3076], ["porch", 3089], ["glad", 3103], ["extra", 3130], ["extras", 3130], ["cautious", 3139], ["contemplate", 3172], ["contemplating", 3172], ["happen", 3207], ["happened", 3207], ["become", 3238], ["becoming", 3238], ["important", 3257], ["person", 3264], ["life", 3276], ["lifes", 3276], ["hell", 3283], ["hells", 3283], ["mess", 3297], ["messed", 3297], ["messing", 3297], ["everything", 3318], ["ever", 3329], ["everest", 3329], ["brainy", 3343], ["fun", 3349], ["creative", 3371], ["sexy", 3378], ["also", 3392], ["aware", 3398], ["beauty", 3412], ["point", 3449], ["get", 3498], ["got", 3498], ["like", 3517], ["liked", 3517], ["corny", 3584], ["term", 3589], ["terming", 3589], ["never", 3603], ["believe", 3612], ["believed", 3612], ["concept", 3627], ["seriously", 3667], ["consider", 3678], ["considered", 3678], ["partner", 3700], ["still", 3715], ["ask", 3793], ["give", 3805], ["dream", 3818], ["dreamt", 3818], ["dreamest", 3818], ["live", 3828], ["living", 3828], ["ideal", 3861], ["town", 3873], ["research", 3892], ["researched", 3892], ["area", 3901], ["hoover", 3915], ["hoovered", 3915], ["dam", 3919], ["quaint", 3942], ["village", 3958], ["villages", 3958], ["vegas", 3972], ["big", 3987], ["bigs", 3987], ["modern", 3996], ["busy", 4007], ["busied", 4007], ["find", 4018], ["found", 4018], ["exciting", 4039], ["city", 4078], ["cities", 4078], ["neighbor", 4117], ["town", 4123], ["towns", 4123], ["henderson", 4136], ["boulder", 4148], ["small", 4161], ["middlesex", 4205], ["new", 4211], ["england", 4219], ["generate", 4229], ["generated", 4229], ["brand", 4243], ["community", 4268], ["perfect", 4298], ["perfectest", 4298], ["example", 4306], ["love", 4321], ["loved", 4321], ["imagine", 4349], ["love", 4360], ["loving", 4360], ["nevada", 4367], ["change", 4385], ["plan", 4395], ["plans", 4395], ["stay", 4404], ["course", 4421], ["option", 4435], ["cross", 4447], ["crossing", 4447], ["crossed", 4447], ["mind", 4456], ["minding", 4456], ["end", 4489], ["ends", 4489], ["endest", 4489], ["ended", 4489], ["reject", 4502], ["rejecting", 4502], ["every", 4511], ["stay", 4541], ["staying", 4541], ["forever", 4562], ["cause", 4569], ["caused", 4569], ["vital", 4585], ["start", 4601], ["wither", 4611], ["withered", 4611], ["withering", 4611]]
kara rolled her eyes with exasperation . he was so damn adorable when he was trying to defend his right to give them things . `` we are taken care of . we 're both spoiled rotten . '' simon nodded his head sharply as he dropped his fork and napkin on his empty dessert plate . it 's so hard to argue with him . `` your daughter is going to end up being a spoiled brat , '' she warned him ominously , but she was biting back a smile . his dark eyes met hers , and his words were adamant , `` no , she wo n't . she 's going to be as sweet as her mother . she 's your daughter , and she 'll grow up to be just like you . '' how can i argue when he says things like that ? `` can you slow it down a little so we can get into the living room on christmas morning ? '' truthfully , she did n't want to change simon , she just wanted him to realize that they loved him and not the things he gave them . he grinned at her shamelessly . `` maybe if i knew i was getting some heart-wishes for christmas , it might slow me down a little . '' kara smiled back at him , unable to resist his mischievous grin . he still loved those silly little handmade paper hearts she 'd given him when she had n't had the money to buy him an actual gift for valentine 's day . he got one thing he wanted from her for each heart she gave him . sadly , she realized she had n't given him any of the heart-wishes on any holiday since ginny was born , probably because he usually used them to get her naked . `` if you slow it down , you might get some heart-wishes this year , '' she bantered cheekily . `` i 'll stop for the rest of the week , '' he promised . i think you 'll get some in your stocking , if you 're a good boy for the rest of the week . '' honestly , it amazed her that he loved those little pieces of paper so much . he was a billionaire , but nothing had ever made him as happy as getting those little hearts that he could turn in whenever he wanted her to grant his wish . `` we 're only talking about not bringing home presents this week , right ? '' he asked carefully , folding his arms in front of him . she leaned across the table , speaking in a low voice that only simon could hear . just about the gifts . otherwise , i 'd be happy if you 'd be very , very bad . '' his eyes flared , desire swirling furiously in his heated gaze . being good is really hard , '' he answered in a relieved voice . she asked sultrily . `` and i never really wanted you to be that good . '' `` right now , it 's about as hard as it can get , '' he rasped . liquid heat pooled between her thighs and her core clenched with violent need . she 'd been deprived of her raw and hungry husband for too long . `` well , i 'm ready to leave , '' she squeaked eagerly , reaching for her jacket . she could n't wait to get home now . simon 's grin was wicked as he rose and helped her put on her jacket . her cell phone startled her , the muffled ring coming from her small purse . she fumbled with the clutch and pulled out her phone . `` it 's maddie , '' she told simon as she looked at the caller id . she stepped outside to answer the call while simon took care of the bill . by the time she 'd finished , he was just walking out of the restaurant . simon asked in a concerned voice . `` one of the patients from the clinic is in the hospital . it 's serious , and he 's all alone . maddie ca n't leave the babies right now . i have to go , '' kara told simon anxiously . `` you care about this guy , '' he observed unhappily . `` i know you get attached to all of your patients , but you look freaked out . '' she 'd just finished stowing her phone back in her purse , and her head jerked up to look at him , worried about the jealousy and hurt she heard in his voice . she reached out her hand and grasped his forearm . `` he 's not a guy really . he 's seven years old and his name is timmy madden . maddie diagnosed him with type 1 diabetes , and he was supposed to be seeing a specialist , getting a team of professionals to help him . his mother was a prostitute and was never sure who his father was . she evidently never got him the medical care he needed . they found her dead in her apartment near the clinic , and timmy was in a coma . he 's sick and he 's just a child , simon .	[["kara", 4], ["roll", 11], ["rolled", 11], ["eye", 20], ["eyed", 20], ["eyes", 20], ["exasperation", 38], ["damn", 55], ["damned", 55], ["adorable", 64], ["try", 83], ["tryed", 83], ["trying", 83], ["defend", 93], ["right", 103], ["rightest", 103], ["give", 111], ["thing", 123], ["things", 123], ["take", 141], ["taken", 141], ["care", 146], ["spoil", 171], ["spoiled", 171], ["rotten", 178], ["simon", 189], ["nod", 196], ["nodded", 196], ["head", 205], ["sharply", 213], ["drop", 227], ["dropped", 227], ["fork", 236], ["napkin", 247], ["empty", 260], ["dessert", 268], ["plate", 274], ["plating", 274], ["hard", 290], ["argue", 299], ["daughter", 327], ["go", 336], ["goest", 336], ["going", 336], ["end", 343], ["ends", 343], ["endest", 343], ["brat", 367], ["warn", 383], ["warned", 383], ["ominously", 397], ["bite", 418], ["biting", 418], ["back", 423], ["smile", 431], ["dark", 442], ["meet", 451], ["meeted", 451], ["met", 451], ["word", 472], ["words", 472], ["adamant", 485], ["wo", 502], ["sweet", 536], ["mother", 550], ["mothered", 550], ["motherest", 550], ["grow", 592], ["growest", 592], ["like", 611], ["say", 649], ["sayest", 649], ["says", 649], ["slow", 684], ["little", 701], ["get", 715], ["room", 736], ["roomed", 736], ["morning", 757], ["truthfully", 773], ["change", 802], ["realize", 841], ["love", 857], ["loved", 857], ["give", 888], ["gave", 888], ["grin", 906], ["grinned", 906], ["shamelessly", 925], ["maybe", 936], ["know", 946], ["knowest", 946], ["knew", 946], ["get", 960], ["getting", 960], ["heart", 971], ["wish", 978], ["wishes", 978], ["may", 1003], ["mays", 1003], ["mayest", 1003], ["might", 1003], ["smile", 1042], ["smiled", 1042], ["unable", 1063], ["unabled", 1063], ["resist", 1073], ["resistest", 1073], ["mischievous", 1089], ["grin", 1094], ["still", 1105], ["silly", 1123], ["handmade", 1139], ["paper", 1145], ["heart", 1152], ["hearts", 1152], ["give", 1165], ["given", 1165], ["money", 1200], ["moneys", 1200], ["buy", 1207], ["buyed", 1207], ["actual", 1221], ["gift", 1226], ["valentine", 1240], ["day", 1247], ["get", 1256], ["got", 1256], ["thing", 1266], ["sadly", 1321], ["realize", 1336], ["realized", 1336], ["holiday", 1397], ["holidays", 1397], ["holidayed", 1397], ["since", 1403], ["ginny", 1409], ["bore", 1418], ["bear", 1418], ["bearest", 1418], ["born", 1418], ["probably", 1429], ["usually", 1448], ["use", 1453], ["used", 1453], ["naked", 1475], ["year", 1544], ["banter", 1562], ["bantered", 1562], ["cheekily", 1571], ["stop", 1587], ["rest", 1600], ["week", 1612], ["promise", 1629], ["promised", 1629], ["think", 1639], ["thinkest", 1639], ["stocking", 1673], ["good", 1693], ["boy", 1697], ["honestly", 1736], ["amaze", 1748], ["piece", 1786], ["pieced", 1786], ["pieces", 1786], ["much", 1803], ["billionaire", 1826], ["nothing", 1840], ["ever", 1849], ["everest", 1849], ["happy", 1867], ["turn", 1917], ["whenever", 1929], ["grant", 1952], ["grantest", 1952], ["wish", 1961], ["talk", 1986], ["talking", 1986], ["bring", 2005], ["bringing", 2005], ["home", 2010], ["homing", 2010], ["present", 2019], ["presentest", 2019], ["presents", 2019], ["ask", 2051], ["asked", 2051], ["carefully", 2061], ["fold", 2071], ["folding", 2071], ["arm", 2080], ["arms", 2080], ["front", 2089], ["lean", 2109], ["leans", 2109], ["leaned", 2109], ["across", 2116], ["table", 2126], ["tabled", 2126], ["tabling", 2126], ["speak", 2137], ["spoken", 2137], ["speaking", 2137], ["low", 2146], ["lowed", 2146], ["voice", 2152], ["hear", 2179], ["hears", 2179], ["gift", 2202], ["gifts", 2202], ["otherwise", 2214], ["bad", 2259], ["flare", 2280], ["flared", 2280], ["desire", 2289], ["swirl", 2298], ["swirls", 2298], ["swirlest", 2298], ["swirling", 2298], ["furiously", 2308], ["gaze", 2327], ["gazes", 2327], ["really", 2350], ["answer", 2372], ["answeres", 2372], ["answerest", 2372], ["answered", 2372], ["sultrily", 2413], ["never", 2430], ["rasp", 2533], ["rasped", 2533], ["rasping", 2533], ["liquid", 2542], ["heat", 2547], ["heats", 2547], ["heated", 2547], ["pool", 2554], ["pooled", 2554], ["thigh", 2573], ["thighs", 2573], ["core", 2586], ["clench", 2595], ["clenched", 2595], ["violent", 2608], ["need", 2613], ["needest", 2613], ["deprive", 2636], ["deprived", 2636], ["raw", 2647], ["hungry", 2658], ["husband", 2666], ["husbanding", 2666], ["long", 2679], ["longs", 2679], ["well", 2689], ["wells", 2689], ["ready", 2702], ["left", 2711], ["leave", 2711], ["squeak", 2729], ["squeaks", 2729], ["squeaked", 2729], ["eagerly", 2737], ["reach", 2748], ["reaching", 2748], ["jacket", 2763], ["jacketed", 2763], ["wait", 2784], ["waitest", 2784], ["wicked", 2827], ["rise", 2838], ["risen", 2838], ["rose", 2838], ["help", 2849], ["helpest", 2849], ["helped", 2849], ["put", 2857], ["cell", 2882], ["phone", 2888], ["startle", 2897], ["startled", 2897], ["rung", 2920], ["rang", 2920], ["ring", 2920], ["come", 2927], ["coming", 2927], ["small", 2942], ["purse", 2948], ["fumble", 2962], ["fumbled", 2962], ["clutch", 2978], ["pull", 2989], ["pulled", 2989], ["maddie", 3021], ["tell", 3035], ["told", 3035], ["look", 3055], ["looked", 3055], ["step", 3086], ["stepped", 3086], ["outside", 3094], ["answer", 3104], ["answeres", 3104], ["answerest", 3104], ["call", 3113], ["take", 3130], ["took", 3130], ["bill", 3147], ["time", 3161], ["finish", 3177], ["finished", 3177], ["walk", 3199], ["walking", 3199], ["restaurant", 3221], ["patient", 3281], ["patients", 3281], ["clinic", 3297], ["hospital", 3316], ["serious", 3332], ["alone", 3354], ["ca", 3366], ["cas", 3366], ["baby", 3387], ["babies", 3387], ["go", 3412], ["goest", 3412], ["anxiously", 3443], ["guy", 3472], ["observe", 3489], ["observed", 3489], ["unhappily", 3499], ["know", 3511], ["knowest", 3511], ["attach", 3528], ["attached", 3528], ["look", 3567], ["freak", 3575], ["freaking", 3575], ["freaked", 3575], ["stow", 3613], ["jerk", 3663], ["jerks", 3663], ["jerked", 3663], ["worry", 3691], ["worried", 3691], ["jealousy", 3710], ["jealousies", 3710], ["hurt", 3719], ["hurts", 3719], ["hurting", 3719], ["hear", 3729], ["hears", 3729], ["heard", 3729], ["reach", 3756], ["reached", 3756], ["hand", 3769], ["grasp", 3781], ["grasped", 3781], ["grasping", 3781], ["forearm", 3793], ["seven", 3835], ["year", 3841], ["years", 3841], ["old", 3845], ["name", 3858], ["timmy", 3867], ["madden", 3874], ["maddens", 3874], ["diagnose", 3893], ["diagnosed", 3893], ["type", 3907], ["suppose", 3940], ["supposed", 3940], ["see", 3953], ["seeing", 3953], ["specialist", 3966], ["team", 3983], ["teamed", 3983], ["teaming", 3983], ["professional", 4000], ["professionals", 4000], ["help", 4008], ["helpest", 4008], ["prostitute", 4042], ["sure", 4061], ["father", 4076], ["fathered", 4076], ["fathering", 4076], ["evidently", 4096], ["medical", 4122], ["need", 4137], ["needest", 4137], ["needed", 4137], ["find", 4150], ["found", 4150], ["dead", 4159], ["apartment", 4176], ["near", 4181], ["coma", 4218], ["sick", 4231], ["child", 4254], ["childs", 4254]]
`` why macy ? '' silence greeted my question . `` okay , you 're right , i have n't met her yet . although i had n't come up with a way to do it ... `` you have any bright ideas ? '' i asked hannah . `` you want me to meet ms. roth , so it would help if you had a suggestion or two on how to go about it . '' `` i am not making a cold call , so you can forget that , '' i told hannah . i definitely was n't phoning this woman out of the blue ! `` if you want me to meet macy , you 'll need to show me how . '' i nodded my head decisively so hannah would know i was serious . i reached the parking garage . the night-shift attendant knew me . paul had been at the garage from the day i joined the practice . it 'd been a while since i 'd chatted with the older black man . `` staying extra late tonight ? '' `` good night now . '' `` dr. everett , '' paul said as i turned . he smiled and there was a note of approval in his voice . `` i hope you do n't mind me saying this , but you seem better . '' `` you 're healing , '' paul said . `` when you first lost the missus , i was real worried about you . but i can see that you 're looking more alive . your step 's a bit lighter . '' i thanked him with a smile . `` it really does get easier with time . '' i asked , not really believing that was possible . `` it did with me . i lost my lucille three years ago . '' `` i 'm sorry , paul , i did n't know . '' i did n't let on , figured professional men and women like yourself do n't want to hear about my troubles . '' i felt bad that he 'd borne this alone . `` have you ... remarried ? '' `` no , but i got myself a girlfriend . we play bingo at the vfw on saturday nights and she talked me into taking dance lessons . '' he chuckled and shook his head with its patch of unruly white hair . `` if only lucille could see me now . she 'd get such a kick out of me on that dance floor . '' `` you ready for dancing with the stars ? '' `` i do n't think any tv producer 's going to be interested in me . '' `` nice talking to you , dr . `` you , too , paul , '' i said and headed in the direction of my car . i noticed i was smiling when i happened to catch my reflection in the car window . i glanced upward , imagining hannah with a satisfied little smirk on her face . `` i suppose you 're responsible for that conversation , too . '' chapter fourteen e ver since my dinner date with leanne lancaster , i had n't been able to get hannah 's list out of my mind . i 'd entered into this scheme of hers kicking and screaming and now ... well , now i was still fighting it , but my objections were n't as loud . i 'd connected with leanne . i was n't romantically interested in her , but i felt that at some point i could be . i believed the same was true of her . we 'd put no pressure on each other . we 'd both suffered great loss and while that might be a fragile bond , it gave us each a reprieve from loneliness . simply put , i enjoyed the evening with her . the hardest part about being alone is ... being alone . tuesday morning when i got to the office i still felt good , which i attributed to my dinner with leanne . what had helped , too , was my chat with paul , the parking garage attendant . that brief conversation had filled me with hope . like me , he 'd lost his wife , but had been able to move forward in life . granted , with him it 'd taken three years but at least he 'd shown me that this grief , this allconsuming pain , would abate . leanne had reminded me that others suffered , too , that i was not unique in my pain , regardless of how it felt . paul had assured me that , with enough time , suffering became bearable . at noon i found a message from my brother-in-law and returned ritchie 's call while i ate lunch . `` it 's me , '' i said when he answered the phone . `` yeah , i wanted to give you the details for max 's party . '' i reached for a pen and a pad . `` saturday at eleven . steph 's taking max and five of his friends to the arcade and out for pizza afterward . '' `` are we expected to tag along ? '' i asked , grinning , knowing ritchie was a kid at heart .	[["silence", 24], ["greet", 32], ["greeting", 32], ["greeted", 32], ["question", 44], ["okay", 54], ["right", 70], ["rightest", 70], ["meet", 87], ["meeted", 87], ["met", 87], ["yet", 95], ["although", 106], ["come", 121], ["way", 135], ["ways", 135], ["bright", 171], ["brights", 171], ["idea", 177], ["ideas", 177], ["ask", 190], ["asked", 190], ["hannah", 197], ["meet", 222], ["meeted", 222], ["ms", 225], ["roth", 231], ["help", 250], ["helpest", 250], ["suggestion", 274], ["two", 281], ["twos", 281], ["go", 294], ["goest", 294], ["cold", 334], ["call", 339], ["forget", 359], ["forgot", 359], ["tell", 376], ["told", 376], ["definitely", 398], ["phone", 414], ["woman", 425], ["womans", 425], ["blue", 441], ["need", 489], ["needest", 489], ["show", 497], ["nod", 518], ["nodded", 518], ["head", 526], ["decisively", 537], ["know", 558], ["knowest", 558], ["serious", 572], ["reach", 584], ["reached", 584], ["parking", 596], ["garage", 603], ["night", 615], ["shift", 621], ["attendant", 631], ["know", 636], ["knowest", 636], ["knew", 636], ["paul", 646], ["pauls", 646], ["day", 682], ["join", 691], ["joinest", 691], ["joined", 691], ["practice", 704], ["since", 731], ["chat", 744], ["chating", 744], ["chatted", 744], ["old", 759], ["black", 765], ["man", 769], ["mans", 769], ["manned", 769], ["stay", 782], ["staying", 782], ["extra", 788], ["extras", 788], ["late", 793], ["lates", 793], ["tonight", 801], ["good", 814], ["dr", 835], ["drs", 835], ["everett", 844], ["say", 859], ["sayest", 859], ["said", 859], ["turn", 871], ["turned", 871], ["smile", 883], ["smiled", 883], ["note", 904], ["approval", 916], ["voice", 929], ["hope", 941], ["mind", 957], ["minding", 957], ["say", 967], ["sayest", 967], ["saying", 967], ["seem", 987], ["seeming", 987], ["well", 994], ["wells", 994], ["heal", 1018], ["healest", 1018], ["first", 1053], ["firstest", 1053], ["lose", 1058], ["lost", 1058], ["missus", 1069], ["reis", 1082], ["real", 1082], ["see", 1116], ["look", 1137], ["looking", 1137], ["alive", 1148], ["step", 1160], ["bit", 1169], ["bits", 1169], ["lit", 1177], ["light", 1177], ["thank", 1192], ["thanks", 1192], ["thankest", 1192], ["thanked", 1192], ["smile", 1209], ["really", 1224], ["get", 1233], ["easy", 1240], ["easier", 1240], ["time", 1250], ["believe", 1286], ["believing", 1286], ["possible", 1304], ["lucille", 1344], ["three", 1350], ["year", 1356], ["years", 1356], ["ago", 1360], ["sorry", 1379], ["let", 1422], ["lets", 1422], ["professional", 1448], ["man", 1452], ["mans", 1452], ["manned", 1452], ["men", 1452], ["woman", 1462], ["womans", 1462], ["women", 1462], ["like", 1467], ["hear", 1496], ["hears", 1496], ["trouble", 1514], ["troubling", 1514], ["troubles", 1514], ["feel", 1526], ["felt", 1526], ["bad", 1530], ["borne", 1547], ["alone", 1558], ["get", 1609], ["got", 1609], ["girlfriend", 1629], ["play", 1639], ["playest", 1639], ["bingo", 1645], ["bingos", 1645], ["vfw", 1656], ["saturday", 1668], ["saturdays", 1668], ["night", 1675], ["nights", 1675], ["talk", 1690], ["talked", 1690], ["take", 1705], ["taking", 1705], ["dance", 1711], ["lesson", 1719], ["lessons", 1719], ["chuckle", 1736], ["chuckled", 1736], ["shake", 1746], ["shook", 1746], ["patch", 1770], ["patching", 1770], ["unruly", 1780], ["white", 1786], ["hair", 1791], ["kick", 1854], ["floor", 1884], ["ready", 1902], ["dance", 1914], ["star", 1929], ["starred", 1929], ["stars", 1929], ["think", 1952], ["thinkest", 1952], ["tv", 1959], ["producer", 1968], ["go", 1977], ["goest", 1977], ["going", 1977], ["interested", 1994], ["nice", 2013], ["talk", 2021], ["talking", 2021], ["head", 2078], ["headed", 2078], ["direction", 2095], ["car", 2105], ["notice", 2117], ["noticed", 2117], ["smile", 2131], ["smiling", 2131], ["happen", 2147], ["happened", 2147], ["catch", 2156], ["catches", 2156], ["catched", 2156], ["reflection", 2170], ["window", 2188], ["windows", 2188], ["glance", 2200], ["glanced", 2200], ["upward", 2207], ["imagine", 2219], ["imagining", 2219], ["satisfied", 2243], ["little", 2250], ["smirk", 2256], ["face", 2268], ["suppose", 2283], ["responsible", 2303], ["conversation", 2325], ["chapter", 2344], ["fourteen", 2353], ["e", 2355], ["ing", 2355], ["eest", 2355], ["ver", 2359], ["dinner", 2375], ["date", 2380], ["leanne", 2392], ["lancaster", 2402], ["able", 2424], ["abled", 2424], ["list", 2446], ["enter", 2476], ["entered", 2476], ["scheme", 2493], ["scheming", 2493], ["kick", 2509], ["kicking", 2509], ["scream", 2523], ["screams", 2523], ["screaming", 2523], ["well", 2540], ["wells", 2540], ["still", 2558], ["fight", 2567], ["fightest", 2567], ["objection", 2590], ["objections", 2590], ["loud", 2607], ["connect", 2624], ["connectest", 2624], ["connected", 2624], ["romantically", 2661], ["point", 2711], ["believe", 2735], ["believed", 2735], ["true", 2753], ["put", 2772], ["pressure", 2784], ["pressured", 2784], ["suffer", 2820], ["suffering", 2820], ["suffered", 2820], ["great", 2826], ["loss", 2831], ["may", 2852], ["mays", 2852], ["mayest", 2852], ["might", 2852], ["fragile", 2865], ["bond", 2870], ["give", 2880], ["gave", 2880], ["reprieve", 2899], ["loneliness", 2915], ["simply", 2924], ["enjoy", 2940], ["enjoyed", 2940], ["evening", 2952], ["hard", 2975], ["part", 2980], ["parting", 2980], ["tuesday", 3027], ["morning", 3035], ["office", 3060], ["attribute", 3099], ["attributed", 3099], ["help", 3142], ["helpest", 3142], ["helped", 3142], ["chat", 3162], ["chating", 3162], ["brief", 3216], ["briefing", 3216], ["fill", 3240], ["fills", 3240], ["filled", 3240], ["wife", 3285], ["move", 3313], ["forward", 3321], ["forwardest", 3321], ["forwarding", 3321], ["life", 3329], ["lifes", 3329], ["grant", 3339], ["grantest", 3339], ["granted", 3339], ["take", 3362], ["taken", 3362], ["least", 3387], ["leastest", 3387], ["show", 3399], ["shown", 3399], ["grief", 3418], ["pain", 3443], ["abate", 3457], ["abated", 3457], ["remind", 3479], ["reminded", 3479], ["unique", 3533], ["regardless", 3557], ["assure", 3591], ["assured", 3591], ["enough", 3613], ["sufferings", 3630], ["become", 3637], ["became", 3637], ["bearable", 3646], ["noon", 3656], ["find", 3664], ["found", 3664], ["message", 3674], ["brother", 3690], ["brethren", 3690], ["law", 3697], ["return", 3710], ["returnest", 3710], ["returned", 3710], ["ritchie", 3718], ["eat", 3738], ["ate", 3738], ["lunch", 3744], ["lunched", 3744], ["lunches", 3744], ["answer", 3787], ["answeres", 3787], ["answerest", 3787], ["answered", 3787], ["phone", 3797], ["yeah", 3807], ["give", 3826], ["detail", 3842], ["details", 3842], ["max", 3850], ["party", 3859], ["pen", 3884], ["pad", 3894], ["padding", 3894], ["eleven", 3918], ["steph", 3926], ["five", 3949], ["fived", 3949], ["friend", 3964], ["friends", 3964], ["arcade", 3978], ["pizza", 3996], ["afterward", 4006], ["expect", 4030], ["expected", 4030], ["tag", 4037], ["tags", 4037], ["along", 4043], ["grin", 4067], ["know", 4077], ["knowest", 4077], ["knowing", 4077], ["kid", 4095], ["heart", 4104]]
i wanted to talk to him so badly , and i wasnt going to let the shock of his presence defeat me . his dashing smile strengthened . and most recently . reaching into his jeans , he pulled out his phone and set it on our blanket . i guess that explained her earlier questioning . and the dropped call . the girl set me up . that wonderful girl . shaking my head , i stared ahead of us . and i see you brought your sister . chuckling , drake looked over to adele who had made her way to a park bench . she pretended not to watch us , but her gaze kept creeping over in our direction . she wouldnt let me come unless she could . i kind of had to borrow money from her to get here . i didnt have much of a choice but to abide by her demands . you had to borrow money ? drake came from more than enough to handle something as meager as a trip to paris . i knew proof of that by the large check his father gave me . he ran his finger against the material of the blanket . thats what you have to do when you dont have any . did your parents end up cutting you off ? i thought with me gone hed have no problems from their end . did his mom follow through with her threat ? he stopped his finger on the blanket when something from my wrist took his attention , the sunlight gleaming down on the charm bracelet i wore that day . lifting his hand , he ran his finger over the sparkling charms . i had two new ones added since he gave it to me . a silver , miniature eiffel tower was one of those charms , and the other was a cursive letter d. his finger stopped on the d. brushing over the letter with his thumb , he had a small smile on his face . my expression matched his as i watched him study it . he shouldnt be surprised it was there . moving along the charm , he went to the closest one next to itthe l. he was only there a few moments before he moved his hand from the bracelet entirely . his fingers ultimately stopped on the top of my hand . once there , he drew a small circle on my skin and even my scalp felt the tingle from the contact . i fell for a girl , he said , answering my former question . i swallowed hard , staring at where his fingers touched me . one my parents didnt approve of . he glanced up at me from under dark eyelashes . and , i breathed out , they cut you off because of it . he laced his long fingers with mine , watching them mingle together for a long moment before he spoke again . i rose up in surprise , completely shocked by what he said . but even with the abrupt action he didnt let go of my hand . he never parted from me . rising up as well , he held my hand between both of his large ones . i was , uh , thinking a small flat in that building over there . he pointed in the distance across the street . the classic , tan brick building had green shutters on the tall windows . seems fitting since i just signed the papers and gave them the deposit and next six months rent this afternoon . its the reason why i have no money . he grinned , the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth . you mean youre going to . to paris ? that was kind of the point of renting out the flat . that was also kind of the point . i placed my hand on my forehead ; still unable to process he was here let alone moving here . but he was here , and was moving here . i got your letter , lacey . snapping out of my thoughts , i narrowed my eyebrows at him . yeah , and im sorry , but it will never make it to my father . i just cant make myself part with it . im seriously framing it and putting it up in my place . my cheeks blazed , completely embarrassed . some of the things i said i wasnt terribly proud of . id never regret sending it , though . regardless of how mean those things i wrote were that man deserved them for what he did to drake and me . the post office sent it to my dorm by mistake because of the name . im glad they did . the thing seriously gave me hard-on for like an hour . okay , im exaggerating a bit , but it did give me one . i popped my hand to my mouth , snickering . pulling my hand from my face , he brought my hands to his lips and brushed a kiss . i would have come here anyway , though . letter or no letter . you would have ? im so sorry , lace . for letting my father come between us . for dwelling on stupid technicalities . for not when he looked away , his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed hard . for not being there for you when your mother passed . i slid my hand out of his and to his cheek to make him look up at me . he didnt talk to me , just leaned his cheek into my hand with his eyes shut tight . you had to go through that alone . he whispered into my hand , his warm breath touching my palm .	[["talk", 16], ["badly", 32], ["go", 52], ["goest", 52], ["going", 52], ["let", 59], ["lets", 59], ["shock", 69], ["presence", 85], ["defeat", 92], ["defeatest", 92], ["dash", 109], ["dashing", 109], ["smile", 115], ["strengthen", 128], ["strengthened", 128], ["recently", 148], ["reach", 159], ["reaching", 159], ["jean", 174], ["jeans", 174], ["pull", 186], ["pulled", 186], ["phone", 200], ["set", 208], ["blanket", 226], ["guess", 236], ["explain", 251], ["explained", 251], ["early", 263], ["questioning", 275], ["drop", 293], ["dropped", 293], ["call", 298], ["girl", 309], ["wonderful", 336], ["shake", 351], ["shaking", 351], ["head", 359], ["stare", 370], ["stared", 370], ["ahead", 376], ["see", 394], ["bring", 406], ["brought", 406], ["sister", 418], ["chuckling", 430], ["drake", 438], ["look", 445], ["looked", 445], ["adele", 459], ["way", 480], ["ways", 480], ["park", 490], ["parks", 490], ["bench", 496], ["benched", 496], ["pretend", 512], ["pretendest", 512], ["pretended", 512], ["watch", 525], ["gaze", 543], ["gazes", 543], ["keep", 548], ["keepest", 548], ["kept", 548], ["creep", 557], ["creeps", 557], ["creeped", 557], ["creeping", 557], ["direction", 579], ["come", 605], ["unless", 612], ["unlesss", 612], ["kind", 631], ["borrow", 648], ["borrowest", 648], ["money", 654], ["moneys", 654], ["get", 670], ["much", 695], ["choice", 707], ["abide", 720], ["demand", 735], ["demandest", 735], ["demands", 735], ["come", 774], ["came", 774], ["enough", 796], ["handle", 806], ["meager", 826], ["trip", 836], ["tripping", 836], ["paris", 845], ["know", 854], ["knowest", 854], ["knew", 854], ["proof", 860], ["proofs", 860], ["proofed", 860], ["proofest", 860], ["large", 881], ["check", 887], ["father", 898], ["fathered", 898], ["fathering", 898], ["give", 903], ["gave", 903], ["run", 915], ["ran", 915], ["finger", 926], ["material", 947], ["parent", 1032], ["parents", 1032], ["end", 1036], ["ends", 1036], ["endest", 1036], ["cut", 1047], ["cutting", 1047], ["think", 1067], ["thinkest", 1067], ["thought", 1067], ["go", 1080], ["goest", 1080], ["gone", 1080], ["problem", 1101], ["problems", 1101], ["mom", 1130], ["moms", 1130], ["follow", 1137], ["threat", 1161], ["stop", 1174], ["stopped", 1174], ["wrist", 1229], ["take", 1234], ["took", 1234], ["attention", 1248], ["sunlight", 1263], ["gleam", 1272], ["gleams", 1272], ["gleamed", 1272], ["gleamest", 1272], ["gleaming", 1272], ["charm", 1290], ["charmest", 1290], ["bracelet", 1299], ["wear", 1306], ["wore", 1306], ["day", 1315], ["lift", 1325], ["hand", 1334], ["sparkle", 1373], ["sparkling", 1373], ["charm", 1380], ["charmest", 1380], ["charms", 1380], ["two", 1392], ["twos", 1392], ["new", 1396], ["add", 1407], ["added", 1407], ["since", 1413], ["silver", 1441], ["silvered", 1441], ["miniature", 1453], ["eiffel", 1460], ["tower", 1466], ["towered", 1466], ["towerest", 1466], ["cursive", 1520], ["letter", 1527], ["lettering", 1527], ["brush", 1568], ["brushest", 1568], ["brushing", 1568], ["thumb", 1599], ["thumbed", 1599], ["small", 1616], ["face", 1634], ["expression", 1650], ["match", 1658], ["matching", 1658], ["matched", 1658], ["watch", 1675], ["watched", 1675], ["study", 1685], ["move", 1737], ["moving", 1737], ["along", 1743], ["go", 1763], ["goest", 1763], ["went", 1763], ["close", 1778], ["closest", 1778], ["next", 1787], ["moment", 1831], ["moments", 1831], ["move", 1847], ["moved", 1847], ["entirely", 1883], ["finger", 1897], ["fingers", 1897], ["ultimately", 1908], ["top", 1927], ["draw", 1961], ["draws", 1961], ["drawn", 1961], ["drew", 1961], ["circle", 1976], ["skin", 1987], ["even", 1996], ["evens", 1996], ["scalp", 2005], ["scalps", 2005], ["feel", 2010], ["felt", 2010], ["tingle", 2021], ["tingles", 2021], ["contact", 2038], ["fall", 2047], ["falls", 2047], ["fell", 2047], ["say", 2068], ["sayest", 2068], ["said", 2068], ["answer", 2080], ["answeres", 2080], ["answerest", 2080], ["answering", 2080], ["former", 2090], ["question", 2099], ["swallow", 2113], ["swallows", 2113], ["swallowed", 2113], ["hard", 2118], ["stare", 2128], ["stared", 2128], ["staring", 2128], ["touch", 2157], ["touching", 2157], ["touched", 2157], ["approve", 2191], ["glance", 2207], ["glanced", 2207], ["dark", 2232], ["eyelash", 2242], ["eyelashes", 2242], ["breathes", 2261], ["breathed", 2261], ["cut", 2276], ["lace", 2309], ["laced", 2309], ["long", 2318], ["longs", 2318], ["mine", 2336], ["watch", 2347], ["watching", 2347], ["mingle", 2359], ["together", 2368], ["moment", 2386], ["speak", 2402], ["spoken", 2402], ["spoke", 2402], ["rise", 2417], ["risen", 2417], ["rose", 2417], ["surprise", 2432], ["surprised", 2432], ["completely", 2445], ["shock", 2453], ["shocked", 2453], ["abrupt", 2496], ["action", 2503], ["go", 2519], ["goest", 2519], ["never", 2541], ["part", 2548], ["parting", 2548], ["parted", 2548], ["rise", 2565], ["risen", 2565], ["rising", 2565], ["well", 2576], ["wells", 2576], ["hold", 2586], ["held", 2586], ["uh", 2638], ["think", 2649], ["thinkest", 2649], ["thinking", 2649], ["flat", 2662], ["build", 2679], ["building", 2679], ["point", 2703], ["pointed", 2703], ["distance", 2719], ["distancing", 2719], ["across", 2726], ["street", 2737], ["classic", 2751], ["tan", 2757], ["brick", 2763], ["green", 2782], ["greens", 2782], ["shutter", 2791], ["shuttered", 2791], ["shuttering", 2791], ["shutters", 2791], ["tall", 2803], ["window", 2811], ["windows", 2811], ["seem", 2819], ["seeming", 2819], ["seems", 2819], ["fittings", 2827], ["sign", 2847], ["signed", 2847], ["paper", 2858], ["papers", 2858], ["deposit", 2884], ["six", 2897], ["month", 2904], ["months", 2904], ["rent", 2909], ["afternoon", 2924], ["reason", 2941], ["reasonest", 2941], ["grin", 2974], ["grinned", 2974], ["corner", 2987], ["bottom", 3001], ["bottoming", 3001], ["lip", 3005], ["lipped", 3005], ["tooth", 3023], ["teeth", 3023], ["mean", 3034], ["meanest", 3034], ["point", 3089], ["rent", 3100], ["renting", 3100], ["also", 3129], ["place", 3158], ["placed", 3158], ["forehead", 3181], ["still", 3189], ["unable", 3196], ["unabled", 3196], ["process", 3207], ["alone", 3229], ["get", 3289], ["got", 3289], ["lacey", 3309], ["snap", 3320], ["snapping", 3320], ["thought", 3339], ["thoughts", 3339], ["narrow", 3352], ["narrowed", 3352], ["eyebrow", 3364], ["eyebrows", 3364], ["yeah", 3378], ["sorry", 3393], ["part", 3465], ["parting", 3465], ["seriously", 3488], ["frame", 3496], ["framing", 3496], ["put", 3511], ["putting", 3511], ["place", 3529], ["cheek", 3541], ["cheeks", 3541], ["blaze", 3548], ["blazed", 3548], ["thing", 3594], ["things", 3594], ["terribly", 3618], ["proud", 3624], ["regret", 3645], ["send", 3653], ["sending", 3653], ["though", 3665], ["regardless", 3678], ["write", 3711], ["writing", 3711], ["wrote", 3711], ["man", 3725], ["mans", 3725], ["manned", 3725], ["deserve", 3734], ["deserved", 3734], ["post", 3782], ["office", 3789], ["send", 3794], ["sent", 3794], ["dorm", 3808], ["mistake", 3819], ["mistook", 3819], ["mistaken", 3819], ["name", 3839], ["glad", 3849], ["thing", 3870], ["like", 3905], ["hour", 3913], ["okay", 3920], ["exaggerate", 3938], ["exaggerated", 3938], ["exaggerating", 3938], ["bit", 3944], ["bits", 3944], ["give", 3962], ["pop", 3980], ["popped", 3980], ["mouth", 4000], ["mouthed", 4000], ["snicker", 4013], ["snickering", 4013], ["pull", 4023], ["pulling", 4023], ["hand", 4066], ["hands", 4066], ["lip", 4078], ["lipped", 4078], ["lips", 4078], ["brush", 4090], ["brushest", 4090], ["brushed", 4090], ["kiss", 4097], ["kisses", 4097], ["kissest", 4097], ["anyway", 4129], ["lace", 4198], ["let", 4212], ["lets", 4212], ["letting", 4212], ["dwell", 4253], ["dwelling", 4253], ["dwellest", 4253], ["stupid", 4263], ["technicality", 4278], ["technicalities", 4278], ["away", 4308], ["adam", 4320], ["adams", 4320], ["apple", 4326], ["bob", 4333], ["bobs", 4333], ["bobbed", 4333], ["mother", 4401], ["mothered", 4401], ["motherest", 4401], ["pass", 4408], ["passed", 4408], ["slid", 4417], ["cheek", 4453], ["cheeks", 4453], ["look", 4470], ["lean", 4515], ["leans", 4515], ["leaned", 4515], ["eye", 4552], ["eyed", 4552], ["eyes", 4552], ["shut", 4557], ["tight", 4563], ["whisper", 4613], ["whispered", 4613], ["warm", 4637], ["breath", 4644], ["breathest", 4644], ["touch", 4653], ["touching", 4653], ["palm", 4661], ["palms", 4661], ["palmed", 4661], ["palmest", 4661]]
based on the amount of blood coming from the cut on her head , nick decided that releasing her from the seatbelt was more important than keeping her still . he worked his way under her so he could catch her when she fell . even though his shoulder throbbed and he trembled from shock as well as the frigid temperature , he broke into a sweat from the effort it took to free her from the belt . her dead weight landing on him forced his side into the shift handle . nick cried out in pain and wondered if he had broken a rib . through the smashed window on the passenger side , the officer peered into the one-foot space . `` can we get her out ? '' `` it 's not big enough . '' `` not for me , '' he said , gagging on the gas fumes that filled the air . `` but she might fit . '' grimacing at the pain coming from his shoulder and ribs , he shifted her closer to the window while using the sleeve of his new overcoat to wipe the blood off her ghostly pale face . `` babe , '' he whispered , kissing her cold lips . nick put his face down close to hers and went weak with relief when he felt a whisper of air hit his cheek . in the distance , he could hear sirens . `` i want to get her out of here . '' `` the opening is too small . hang tight , senator . rescue is almost here . '' his own head throbbing , he rested it on sam 's chest , comforted by her faint but audible heartbeat . officer montgomery . '' `` did they get the guys that shot at us ? '' `` i have n't heard yet , but i can check . '' nick 's chest ached from the effort it took to breathe . his eyes burned closed , but he fought the blackness , knowing if he had a concussion he should stay awake . he wiped more blood from her forehead . `` montgomery , do you have something i could use on her wound ? '' the patrolman handed him a clean handkerchief . he pressed the cloth to sam 's forehead while talking softly to her . the gas smell seemed to be getting stronger , and nick was convinced the car was going to explode any second . `` you should back up . `` i 'm not going anywhere , '' montgomery said . `` detective gonzales . are you all right , senator ? '' `` i am , but sam 's not . '' `` fire 's here , '' gonzo said . `` they 'll get you out . '' `` someone shot at us , '' nick said . `` we got'em . they crashed on the bridge . '' `` good , '' he said , relieved . why were they shooting at us ? '' `` we think it might 've been a gang initiation thing . extra credit for shooting the famous lady cop . triple extra credit for getting the senator , too . they 're still sorting it out . '' `` fabulous , '' nick muttered . the fire department sprayed flame retardant foam on the car . nick closed his eyes and mouth and covered sam 's face with the handkerchief . in deference to the frigid cold , the emts passed a blanket in to nick . he spread it out over sam and snuggled up to her to share his body heat . `` babe , '' he said , dropping kisses on her face . sparks from the jaws of life rained down on them . nick drew the blanket up to protect her face . twenty minutes later , the firefighters peeled back the side of the car . hands landed on nick 's shoulders . `` take her first , '' he said . `` we need to get you out so we can reach her , senator . '' nick kissed her cold lips . `` the paramedics are going to take me now , but i 'll wait for you outside . '' he had never felt more helpless than he did leaving her unconscious in the car . once he was on a gurney , paramedics swarmed around him , assessing his injuries . he could n't see what was happening with sam . `` i 'm fine , '' he said , trying to sit up . his head swam , his side felt like it had been stabbed with a knife , and his shoulder seemed disconnected from the rest of him . `` whoa , senator . '' one of the paramedics held him down . `` you have to stay still . '' `` we 're taking good care of her . `` gonzo ! '' `` right here , senator . '' `` what 's going on with sam ? '' `` the paramedics are working on her . '' `` did they get her out ? '' looks like they 're stabilizing her before they move her . '' `` god , '' nick whispered . `` do n't let her die . please do n't let her die . if she does , i will , too . '' gonzo placed a hand on nick 's uninjured shoulder . nick wanted to believe him , but the hitch he heard in gonzo 's voice told him he was n't the only one who was frightened for her . they were transported in separate ambulances .	[["base", 5], ["basest", 5], ["based", 5], ["amount", 19], ["blood", 28], ["bloods", 28], ["blooded", 28], ["come", 35], ["coming", 35], ["cut", 48], ["head", 60], ["nick", 67], ["nicked", 67], ["decide", 75], ["decided", 75], ["release", 90], ["releasing", 90], ["seatbelt", 112], ["important", 131], ["keep", 144], ["keepest", 144], ["keeping", 144], ["still", 154], ["work", 166], ["wrought", 166], ["worked", 166], ["way", 174], ["ways", 174], ["catch", 202], ["catches", 202], ["catched", 202], ["fall", 220], ["falls", 220], ["fell", 220], ["even", 227], ["evens", 227], ["though", 234], ["shoulder", 247], ["shouldered", 247], ["throb", 256], ["throbs", 256], ["throbbed", 256], ["throbbing", 256], ["tremble", 272], ["trembles", 272], ["trembled", 272], ["shock", 283], ["well", 291], ["wells", 291], ["frigid", 305], ["temperature", 317], ["break", 328], ["broke", 328], ["sweat", 341], ["effort", 357], ["take", 365], ["took", 365], ["free", 373], ["belt", 391], ["belts", 391], ["belted", 391], ["belting", 391], ["beltest", 391], ["dead", 402], ["weight", 409], ["weighted", 409], ["weightest", 409], ["land", 417], ["force", 431], ["forced", 431], ["side", 440], ["sidest", 440], ["shift", 455], ["handle", 462], ["cry", 475], ["cried", 475], ["pain", 487], ["wonder", 500], ["wonderest", 500], ["wondered", 500], ["break", 517], ["broke", 517], ["broken", 517], ["rib", 523], ["ribs", 523], ["smash", 545], ["smashed", 545], ["window", 552], ["windows", 552], ["passenger", 569], ["officer", 588], ["officering", 588], ["peer", 595], ["peered", 595], ["foot", 613], ["space", 619], ["spaced", 619], ["spacing", 619], ["get", 635], ["big", 665], ["bigs", 665], ["enough", 672], ["say", 704], ["sayest", 704], ["said", 704], ["gag", 714], ["gagging", 714], ["gas", 725], ["gassing", 725], ["fume", 731], ["fuming", 731], ["fumes", 731], ["fill", 743], ["fills", 743], ["filled", 743], ["air", 751], ["airs", 751], ["airing", 751], ["may", 770], ["mays", 770], ["mayest", 770], ["might", 770], ["fit", 774], ["fitting", 774], ["rib", 835], ["ribs", 835], ["shift", 848], ["shifted", 848], ["close", 859], ["closer", 859], ["use", 885], ["using", 885], ["sleeve", 896], ["sleeving", 896], ["new", 907], ["overcoat", 916], ["wipe", 924], ["ghostly", 950], ["pale", 955], ["face", 960], ["babe", 970], ["whisper", 988], ["whispered", 988], ["kiss", 998], ["kisses", 998], ["kissest", 998], ["kissing", 998], ["cold", 1007], ["lip", 1012], ["lipped", 1012], ["lips", 1012], ["put", 1023], ["close", 1043], ["go", 1060], ["goest", 1060], ["went", 1060], ["weak", 1065], ["relief", 1077], ["reliefs", 1077], ["feel", 1090], ["felt", 1090], ["whisper", 1100], ["hit", 1111], ["cheek", 1121], ["cheeks", 1121], ["distance", 1139], ["distancing", 1139], ["hear", 1155], ["hears", 1155], ["siren", 1162], ["sirens", 1162], ["opening", 1217], ["small", 1230], ["hung", 1237], ["hang", 1237], ["hangs", 1237], ["tight", 1243], ["senator", 1253], ["rescue", 1262], ["almost", 1272], ["rest", 1317], ["rested", 1317], ["sam", 1327], ["chest", 1336], ["comfort", 1348], ["comforted", 1348], ["faint", 1361], ["audible", 1373], ["audibles", 1373], ["heartbeat", 1383], ["heartbeats", 1383], ["montgomery", 1404], ["guy", 1434], ["guys", 1434], ["shoot", 1444], ["shooted", 1444], ["shot", 1444], ["hear", 1475], ["hears", 1475], ["heard", 1475], ["yet", 1479], ["check", 1497], ["ache", 1522], ["ached", 1522], ["breathe", 1557], ["breathes", 1557], ["eye", 1568], ["eyed", 1568], ["eyes", 1568], ["burn", 1575], ["burns", 1575], ["burned", 1575], ["fight", 1598], ["fightest", 1598], ["fought", 1598], ["blackness", 1612], ["know", 1622], ["knowest", 1622], ["knowing", 1622], ["concussion", 1645], ["stay", 1660], ["awoke", 1666], ["awake", 1666], ["wipe", 1677], ["wiped", 1677], ["forehead", 1706], ["use", 1758], ["wind", 1771], ["wound", 1771], ["wounding", 1771], ["patrolman", 1790], ["hand", 1797], ["handed", 1797], ["clean", 1809], ["cleans", 1809], ["handkerchief", 1822], ["handkerchiefs", 1822], ["press", 1835], ["pressed", 1835], ["cloth", 1845], ["talk", 1878], ["talking", 1878], ["softly", 1885], ["smell", 1908], ["smelt", 1908], ["smellest", 1908], ["seem", 1915], ["seeming", 1915], ["seemed", 1915], ["get", 1929], ["getting", 1929], ["strong", 1938], ["convince", 1963], ["convinced", 1963], ["convincing", 1963], ["car", 1971], ["go", 1981], ["goest", 1981], ["going", 1981], ["explode", 1992], ["second", 2003], ["seconded", 2003], ["back", 2024], ["anywhere", 2056], ["detective", 2092], ["gonzales", 2101], ["right", 2121], ["rightest", 2121], ["fire", 2174], ["gonzo", 2193], ["crash", 2296], ["crashed", 2296], ["bridge", 2310], ["good", 2323], ["relieve", 2347], ["relieved", 2347], ["shoot", 2372], ["shooted", 2372], ["shooting", 2372], ["think", 2395], ["thinkest", 2395], ["gang", 2420], ["initiation", 2431], ["thing", 2437], ["extra", 2445], ["extras", 2445], ["credit", 2452], ["famous", 2476], ["lady", 2481], ["cop", 2485], ["copest", 2485], ["copped", 2485], ["triple", 2494], ["sort", 2562], ["sorting", 2562], ["fabulous", 2586], ["mutter", 2605], ["mutterest", 2605], ["muttering", 2605], ["muttered", 2605], ["department", 2627], ["spray", 2635], ["sprayed", 2635], ["flame", 2641], ["retardant", 2651], ["foam", 2656], ["close", 2681], ["closed", 2681], ["mouth", 2700], ["mouthed", 2700], ["cover", 2712], ["covered", 2712], ["deference", 2761], ["emts", 2791], ["pass", 2798], ["passed", 2798], ["blanket", 2808], ["spread", 2831], ["snuggle", 2860], ["snuggled", 2860], ["share", 2879], ["body", 2888], ["bodied", 2888], ["heat", 2893], ["heats", 2893], ["heated", 2893], ["drop", 2927], ["dropping", 2927], ["kiss", 2934], ["kisses", 2934], ["kissest", 2934], ["spark", 2955], ["sparking", 2955], ["sparks", 2955], ["jaw", 2969], ["jaws", 2969], ["jawed", 2969], ["jawest", 2969], ["life", 2977], ["lifes", 2977], ["rain", 2984], ["rained", 2984], ["draw", 3009], ["draws", 3009], ["drawn", 3009], ["drew", 3009], ["protect", 3035], ["protectest", 3035], ["twenty", 3053], ["minute", 3061], ["minutes", 3061], ["later", 3067], ["firefighter", 3086], ["firefighters", 3086], ["peel", 3093], ["peeled", 3093], ["hand", 3126], ["hands", 3126], ["land", 3133], ["landed", 3133], ["shoulder", 3154], ["shouldered", 3154], ["shoulders", 3154], ["take", 3164], ["first", 3174], ["firstest", 3174], ["need", 3200], ["needest", 3200], ["reach", 3231], ["kiss", 3262], ["kisses", 3262], ["kissest", 3262], ["kissed", 3262], ["paramedic", 3296], ["paramedics", 3296], ["wait", 3338], ["waitest", 3338], ["outside", 3354], ["never", 3372], ["helpless", 3391], ["left", 3411], ["leave", 3411], ["leaving", 3411], ["unconscious", 3427], ["gurney", 3464], ["swarm", 3485], ["swarmed", 3485], ["swarmest", 3485], ["around", 3492], ["assess", 3508], ["assessing", 3508], ["injury", 3521], ["injuries", 3521], ["see", 3540], ["happen", 3559], ["happening", 3559], ["fine", 3583], ["try", 3605], ["tryed", 3605], ["trying", 3605], ["sat", 3612], ["sit", 3612], ["swam", 3631], ["like", 3652], ["stab", 3672], ["stabs", 3672], ["stabbed", 3672], ["knife", 3685], ["knifes", 3685], ["rest", 3738], ["whoa", 3755], ["hold", 3797], ["held", 3797], ["take", 3856], ["taking", 3856], ["work", 3982], ["wrought", 3982], ["working", 3982], ["look", 4029], ["looks", 4029], ["stabilize", 4055], ["stabilizes", 4055], ["stabilizing", 4055], ["move", 4076], ["god", 4092], ["let", 4128], ["lets", 4128], ["die", 4136], ["please", 4145], ["place", 4211], ["placed", 4211], ["hand", 4218], ["believe", 4273], ["hitch", 4293], ["hitched", 4293], ["hitches", 4293], ["voice", 4320], ["tell", 4325], ["told", 4325], ["frighten", 4372], ["frightened", 4372], ["transport", 4404], ["transported", 4404], ["separate", 4416], ["ambulance", 4427], ["ambulances", 4427]]
i teased down her ribs , lifting both brsts in my hands . i knew her tone ; knew what she was about to beg me to do . i asked , pressing my teeth carefully into her nipple . `` please hand you your tea ? '' she let out an angry little growl . `` touch me between my legs . '' i dipped my finger into the small bowl of honey , and pressed it against her clit , rubbing it across her skin as i pressed my teeth into the delicate flesh of her breast . she moaned , head falling back , and pulled her feet up onto the counter , legs spread wide . crouching , i ran my tongue over her , not teasing , not even able to . the honey was warm from her skin , and tasted fking amazing . `` holy fuck , '' i whispered , sucking gently on her small fold of nerves . her hand ran into my hair , pulling , but not for pleasure . she raised me up to her face , leaning forward to kiss me . she 'd put honey on her tongue , too , and i knew in a hot pulsing heartbeat that i would now associate this flavor with hanna forever . her quiet little moans filled the space between our lips and our tongues , echoing mildly , growing tighter when i reached between us , slid my fingers over her skin , playing where she was slippery and hot . the counter was a little higher than my hips , but i could make it work if she wanted to f*k in the kitchen . `` let me get a condom . '' `` okay , '' she said , pulling her fingers from my hair . i turned , padding in bare feet down the hall , unbuttoning my jeans . i pulled a packet out of the box in my drawer and moved to return to the kitchen , but hanna was standing just inside my bedroom . she was completely nakd , and without saying anything , walked over to my bed and climbed to the middle . resting back on her heels , she sat with one hand on her knee . `` i want to be in here . '' `` okay , '' i said , pushing my jeans down my hips . `` on your bed . '' i got it , i thought . it 's pretty obvious you want to have sex on my bed , what with the nakdness and condom in my hand . but then i realized she was actually asking me something . she was wondering whether my bed was off-limits , whether i was that kind of playboy , who never brought girls home and took them into the inner sanctum of the bedroom . her unspoken questions , uncertainty about what i was giving her that was new and special ? was n't it enough that i was secretly giving her the chance to break my heart ? i joined her on the bed , beginning to tear the condom packet open with my teeth before she reached up and took it from me . `` fuck , '' i mumbled , watching her duck down to run a tentative tongue across the tip of my dick . i just love your fking mouth . '' she kissed the tip , running her tongue up and over me . drawing me into her mouth . `` i like watching you , '' i babbled . i was so fking tight and the vision of her doing this ... i was n't sure i could hold out . `` i feel like i 'm going to come . '' `` i 'm barely touching you , '' she said , clearly proud of herself . i 'm just ... it 's a lot . '' she took the condom and rolled it over me , laid back on the bed . i hovered over her , looking down the length of our bodies before i positioned myself to slide into her . she was so warm , so slippery , and i wanted to last , draw this moment out just a tiny bit longer . i pulled my hps back slightly , tapping my cck gently against her clit . `` will , '' she whined , hps arching up . `` do you realize how wet you are ? '' with a shaky hand , she reached between us , touching herself . `` is that because of me ? plum , i do n't know if i 've ever been this hard . '' i felt my pulse reverberating down my length , pounding . she gripped me then , and inhaled sharply , whispering , `` please . '' her eyes opened and she whispered , `` please ... i smiled , enjoying her sweet , urgent agony . `` does your p**sy ache a little ? '' beneath me , she moved , searching with her hands and hips . i brought her fingers to my mouth , sucked each into my mouth to taste her sweetness . then i reached between us , circling a finger around her slick opening . `` i asked you , does it ache right here ? '' `` yes ... '' she tried to push up , to get even my finger inside but i slid it up and over her clit , making her moan loudly . i dragged my finger back down , dipping into the unbelievable wetness .	[["teased", 8], ["rib", 22], ["ribs", 22], ["lift", 32], ["hand", 57], ["hands", 57], ["know", 66], ["knowest", 66], ["knew", 66], ["tone", 75], ["toned", 75], ["toning", 75], ["beg", 108], ["ask", 127], ["asked", 127], ["press", 138], ["pressing", 138], ["tooth", 147], ["teeth", 147], ["carefully", 157], ["nipple", 173], ["nipples", 173], ["please", 185], ["hand", 190], ["tea", 203], ["teas", 203], ["let", 216], ["lets", 216], ["angry", 229], ["little", 236], ["growl", 242], ["growls", 242], ["touch", 253], ["touching", 253], ["leg", 272], ["legs", 272], ["dip", 286], ["dipped", 286], ["finger", 296], ["small", 311], ["bowl", 316], ["bowling", 316], ["honey", 325], ["honeys", 325], ["press", 339], ["pressed", 339], ["clit", 359], ["clits", 359], ["rub", 369], ["rubbing", 369], ["across", 379], ["skin", 388], ["delicate", 428], ["flesh", 434], ["fleshest", 434], ["breast", 448], ["breasted", 448], ["breasting", 448], ["moan", 461], ["moans", 461], ["moanest", 461], ["moaned", 461], ["head", 468], ["fall", 476], ["falls", 476], ["falling", 476], ["back", 481], ["pull", 494], ["pulled", 494], ["foot", 503], ["feet", 503], ["onto", 511], ["ontos", 511], ["counter", 523], ["spread", 537], ["wide", 542], ["run", 562], ["ran", 562], ["tongue", 572], ["tonguing", 572], ["teasing", 595], ["even", 606], ["evens", 606], ["able", 611], ["abled", 611], ["warm", 635], ["taste", 662], ["tasted", 662], ["amazing", 678], ["holy", 688], ["fuck", 693], ["whisper", 710], ["whispered", 710], ["suck", 720], ["sucking", 720], ["gently", 727], ["fold", 745], ["nerve", 755], ["nerves", 755], ["hair", 783], ["pull", 793], ["pulling", 793], ["pleasure", 816], ["raise", 829], ["raised", 829], ["face", 847], ["lean", 857], ["leans", 857], ["leaning", 857], ["forward", 865], ["forwardest", 865], ["forwarding", 865], ["kiss", 873], ["kisses", 873], ["kissest", 873], ["put", 889], ["hot", 937], ["pulse", 945], ["pulsing", 945], ["heartbeat", 955], ["heartbeats", 955], ["associate", 982], ["associated", 982], ["flavor", 994], ["flavorest", 994], ["hanna", 1005], ["forever", 1013], ["quiet", 1025], ["moan", 1038], ["moans", 1038], ["moanest", 1038], ["fill", 1045], ["fills", 1045], ["filled", 1045], ["space", 1055], ["spaced", 1055], ["spacing", 1055], ["lip", 1072], ["lipped", 1072], ["lips", 1072], ["tongue", 1088], ["tonguing", 1088], ["tongues", 1088], ["echo", 1098], ["echoed", 1098], ["echoing", 1098], ["mildly", 1105], ["grow", 1115], ["growest", 1115], ["growing", 1115], ["tight", 1123], ["reach", 1138], ["reached", 1138], ["slid", 1156], ["finger", 1167], ["fingers", 1167], ["play", 1191], ["playest", 1191], ["playing", 1191], ["slippery", 1214], ["high", 1256], ["hip", 1269], ["hips", 1269], ["work", 1296], ["wrought", 1296], ["kitchen", 1333], ["kitchens", 1333], ["get", 1349], ["condom", 1358], ["okay", 1371], ["say", 1385], ["sayest", 1385], ["said", 1385], ["turn", 1431], ["turned", 1431], ["pad", 1441], ["padding", 1441], ["bare", 1449], ["hall", 1468], ["unbutton", 1482], ["unbuttoned", 1482], ["jean", 1491], ["jeans", 1491], ["packet", 1511], ["box", 1526], ["boxed", 1526], ["move", 1549], ["moved", 1549], ["return", 1559], ["returnest", 1559], ["stood", 1599], ["stand", 1599], ["standest", 1599], ["standing", 1599], ["inside", 1611], ["bedroom", 1622], ["completely", 1643], ["without", 1663], ["say", 1670], ["sayest", 1670], ["saying", 1670], ["anything", 1679], ["walk", 1688], ["walked", 1688], ["bed", 1703], ["climb", 1715], ["climbed", 1715], ["middle", 1729], ["middles", 1729], ["middling", 1729], ["rest", 1739], ["resting", 1739], ["heel", 1757], ["heeled", 1757], ["heels", 1757], ["sat", 1767], ["sit", 1767], ["knee", 1793], ["push", 1854], ["pushing", 1854], ["get", 1904], ["got", 1904], ["think", 1919], ["thinkest", 1919], ["thought", 1919], ["pretty", 1934], ["prettiest", 1934], ["obvious", 1942], ["sex", 1963], ["realize", 2043], ["realized", 2043], ["ask", 2067], ["asking", 2067], ["wonder", 2100], ["wonderest", 2100], ["wondering", 2100], ["whether", 2108], ["limit", 2130], ["limited", 2130], ["limits", 2130], ["kind", 2156], ["playboy", 2167], ["never", 2179], ["bring", 2187], ["brought", 2187], ["girl", 2193], ["girls", 2193], ["home", 2198], ["homing", 2198], ["take", 2207], ["took", 2207], ["inner", 2227], ["sanctum", 2235], ["unspoken", 2265], ["question", 2275], ["questions", 2275], ["uncertainty", 2289], ["give", 2313], ["giving", 2313], ["new", 2330], ["special", 2342], ["enough", 2362], ["secretly", 2382], ["chance", 2404], ["chanced", 2404], ["chancing", 2404], ["break", 2413], ["broke", 2413], ["heart", 2422], ["join", 2433], ["joinest", 2433], ["joined", 2433], ["begin", 2460], ["beginning", 2460], ["tear", 2468], ["teared", 2468], ["open", 2491], ["mumble", 2572], ["mumbles", 2572], ["mumbled", 2572], ["watch", 2583], ["watching", 2583], ["duck", 2592], ["run", 2604], ["tentative", 2616], ["tip", 2638], ["dick", 2649], ["love", 2663], ["mouth", 2682], ["mouthed", 2682], ["kiss", 2698], ["kisses", 2698], ["kissest", 2698], ["kissed", 2698], ["run", 2716], ["running", 2716], ["draw", 2752], ["draws", 2752], ["drawn", 2752], ["drawing", 2752], ["like", 2782], ["babble", 2810], ["babbled", 2810], ["tight", 2835], ["vision", 2850], ["sure", 2887], ["hold", 2900], ["feel", 2916], ["go", 2932], ["goest", 2932], ["going", 2932], ["come", 2940], ["barely", 2960], ["touch", 2969], ["touching", 2969], ["clearly", 2997], ["proud", 3003], ["lot", 3042], ["roll", 3078], ["rolled", 3078], ["lay", 3096], ["lays", 3096], ["layed", 3096], ["layest", 3096], ["laid", 3096], ["hover", 3124], ["hovered", 3124], ["look", 3143], ["looking", 3143], ["length", 3159], ["body", 3173], ["bodied", 3173], ["bodies", 3173], ["position", 3193], ["positioned", 3193], ["slid", 3209], ["last", 3273], ["draw", 3280], ["draws", 3280], ["drawn", 3280], ["moment", 3292], ["tiny", 3308], ["bit", 3312], ["bits", 3312], ["long", 3319], ["longs", 3319], ["slightly", 3352], ["tap", 3362], ["tapping", 3362], ["whine", 3420], ["whined", 3420], ["arch", 3435], ["arching", 3435], ["realize", 3458], ["wet", 3466], ["shaky", 3492], ["plum", 3575], ["know", 3591], ["knowest", 3591], ["ever", 3605], ["everest", 3605], ["hard", 3620], ["feel", 3632], ["felt", 3632], ["pulse", 3641], ["reverberate", 3655], ["reverberating", 3655], ["pound", 3681], ["pounding", 3681], ["grip", 3695], ["inhale", 3717], ["inhaled", 3717], ["sharply", 3725], ["whisper", 3738], ["whispering", 3738], ["eye", 3764], ["eyed", 3764], ["eyes", 3764], ["open", 3771], ["opened", 3771], ["smile", 3814], ["smiled", 3814], ["enjoy", 3825], ["enjoyed", 3825], ["enjoying", 3825], ["sweet", 3835], ["urgent", 3844], ["agony", 3850], ["ache", 3876], ["ached", 3876], ["beneath", 3898], ["search", 3925], ["searching", 3925], ["suck", 3994], ["sucking", 3994], ["sucked", 3994], ["taste", 4022], ["sweetness", 4036], ["circle", 4075], ["circling", 4075], ["around", 4091], ["slick", 4101], ["opening", 4109], ["right", 4147], ["rightest", 4147], ["yes", 4164], ["try", 4181], ["tryed", 4181], ["tried", 4181], ["push", 4189], ["moan", 4276], ["moans", 4276], ["moanest", 4276], ["loudly", 4283], ["drag", 4295], ["dragged", 4295], ["dip", 4325], ["dipping", 4325], ["unbelievable", 4347], ["wetness", 4355]]
'we may as well get off at my stop , ' park said , 'right ? ' eleanor shrugged again . they got off at his stop , along with steve and tina and most of the people who sat at the back of the bus . all the back-of-the-bus kids hung out in steve 's garage when he was n't at work , even in winter . park and eleanor trailed behind them . 'i 'm sorry i look so stupid today , ' she said . 'you look like you always do , ' he said . her bag was hanging at the end of her arm . he tried to take it , but she pulled away . 'i always look stupid ? ' 'that 's not what i meant ... ' 'it 's what you said , ' she muttered . he wanted to ask her not to be mad right now . like , anytime but now . she could be mad at him for no reason all day tomorrow , if she wanted to . 'you really know how to make a girl feel special , ' eleanor said . 'i 've never pretended to know anything about girls , ' he answered . 'that 's not what i heard , ' she said . 'i heard you were allowed to have girl- zzz in your room ... ' 'they were there , ' he said , 'but i did n't learn anything . ' they both stopped on his porch . he took her bag from her and tried not to look nervous . eleanor was looking down the walk , like she might bolt . 'i meant that you do n't look any different than you usually look , ' he said softly , just in case his mom was standing on the other side of the door . 'and you always look nice . ' 'i never look nice , ' she said . like he was an idiot . 'i like the way you look , ' he said . it came out more like an argument than a compliment . 'that does n't mean it 's nice . ' she was whispering , too . 'fine then , you look like a hobo . ' 'a hobo ? ' 'yeah , a gypsy hobo , ' he said . 'you look like you just joined the cast of godspell . ' 'i do n't even know what that is . ' 'it 's terrible . ' 'i look like a hobo ? ' 'worse , ' he said . 'like a sad hobo clown . ' 'and you like it ? ' as soon as he said it , she broke into a smile . and when eleanor smiled , something broke inside of him . eleanor it was probably a good thing that park 's mom opened the door when she did because eleanor was thinking about kissing him , and no way was that a good idea - eleanor did n't know the first thing about kissing . of course , she 'd watched a million kisses on tv ( thank you , fonzie ) , but tv never showed you the mechanics of it . if eleanor tried to kiss park , it would be like a real-life version of some little girl making her barbie kiss ken . just smashing their faces together . besides , if park 's mom had opened the door right in the middle of a big , awkward kiss , she 'd hate eleanor even more . park 's mom did hate her , you could tell . or maybe she just hated the idea of eleanor , of a girl seducing her firstborn son right in her own living room . eleanor followed park in and sat down . she tried to look extra polite . when his mom offered them a snack , eleanor said , 'that would be great , thank you . ' his mom was looking at eleanor like she was something somebody had spilled on the baby-blue couch . she brought out cookies , then left them alone . park seemed so happy . eleanor tried to con-centrate on how nice it was to be with him - but it was taking too much of her concentration , just keeping herself together . it was the little things about park 's house that really freaked her out . like all the glass grapes hanging from everything . and the curtains that matched the sofa that matched the little doily-napkins under the lamps . you 'd think that nobody interesting could grow up in a house as nice and boring as this one - but park was the smartest , funniest guy she 'd ever met , and this was his home planet . eleanor wanted to feel superior to park 's mom and her avon-lady house . but , instead , she kept thinking about how nice it must be to live in a house like this one . with your own room . and your own parents . and six different kinds of cookies in the cupboard . park eleanor was right . she never looked nice . she looked like art , and art was n't supposed to look nice ; it was supposed to make you feel something .	[["may", 7], ["mays", 7], ["mayest", 7], ["well", 15], ["wells", 15], ["get", 19], ["stop", 34], ["park", 43], ["parks", 43], ["say", 48], ["sayest", 48], ["said", 48], ["right", 57], ["rightest", 57], ["eleanor", 69], ["shrug", 78], ["shrugging", 78], ["shrugged", 78], ["get", 95], ["got", 95], ["along", 119], ["steve", 130], ["tina", 139], ["people", 162], ["sat", 170], ["sit", 170], ["back", 182], ["bus", 193], ["kid", 224], ["kids", 224], ["hung", 229], ["hang", 229], ["hangs", 229], ["garage", 252], ["work", 276], ["wrought", 276], ["even", 283], ["evens", 283], ["winter", 293], ["trail", 320], ["trailed", 320], ["behind", 327], ["sorry", 346], ["look", 353], ["stupid", 363], ["today", 369], ["like", 399], ["always", 410], ["bag", 435], ["bagged", 435], ["bagging", 435], ["hung", 447], ["hang", 447], ["hangs", 447], ["hanging", 447], ["end", 458], ["ends", 458], ["endest", 458], ["arm", 469], ["try", 480], ["tryed", 480], ["tried", 480], ["take", 488], ["pull", 508], ["pulled", 508], ["away", 513], ["mean", 567], ["meanest", 567], ["meant", 567], ["mutter", 611], ["mutterest", 611], ["muttering", 611], ["muttered", 611], ["ask", 630], ["mad", 648], ["mads", 648], ["anytime", 675], ["reason", 723], ["reasonest", 723], ["day", 731], ["tomorrow", 740], ["tomorrows", 740], ["really", 773], ["know", 778], ["knowest", 778], ["girl", 797], ["feel", 802], ["special", 810], ["never", 842], ["pretend", 852], ["pretendest", 852], ["pretended", 852], ["anything", 869], ["girl", 881], ["girls", 881], ["answer", 897], ["answeres", 897], ["answerest", 897], ["answered", 897], ["hear", 925], ["hears", 925], ["heard", 925], ["allow", 966], ["allowed", 966], ["zzz", 984], ["zzzs", 984], ["room", 997], ["roomed", 997], ["learn", 1055], ["learnt", 1055], ["learns", 1055], ["stop", 1086], ["stopped", 1086], ["porch", 1099], ["take", 1109], ["took", 1109], ["nervous", 1156], ["look", 1178], ["looking", 1178], ["walk", 1192], ["may", 1209], ["mays", 1209], ["mayest", 1209], ["might", 1209], ["bolt", 1214], ["bolts", 1214], ["bolted", 1214], ["different", 1260], ["usually", 1277], ["softly", 1301], ["case", 1316], ["mom", 1324], ["moms", 1324], ["stood", 1337], ["stand", 1337], ["standest", 1337], ["standing", 1337], ["side", 1355], ["sidest", 1355], ["door", 1367], ["nice", 1395], ["idiot", 1454], ["way", 1472], ["ways", 1472], ["come", 1503], ["came", 1503], ["argument", 1529], ["compliment", 1547], ["mean", 1569], ["meanest", 1569], ["whisper", 1603], ["whispering", 1603], ["fine", 1617], ["hobo", 1645], ["yeah", 1667], ["gypsy", 1677], ["join", 1727], ["joinest", 1727], ["joined", 1727], ["cast", 1736], ["casts", 1736], ["terrible", 1805], ["bad", 1840], ["worse", 1840], ["sad", 1866], ["clown", 1877], ["soon", 1910], ["break", 1936], ["broke", 1936], ["smile", 1949], ["smile", 1975], ["smiled", 1975], ["inside", 2000], ["probably", 2033], ["good", 2040], ["thing", 2046], ["open", 2070], ["opened", 2070], ["think", 2121], ["thinkest", 2121], ["thinking", 2121], ["kiss", 2135], ["kisses", 2135], ["kissest", 2135], ["kissing", 2135], ["idea", 2173], ["first", 2206], ["firstest", 2206], ["course", 2238], ["watch", 2255], ["watched", 2255], ["million", 2265], ["kiss", 2272], ["kisses", 2272], ["kissest", 2272], ["tv", 2278], ["thank", 2286], ["thanks", 2286], ["thankest", 2286], ["show", 2323], ["showed", 2323], ["mechanic", 2341], ["mechanics", 2341], ["kiss", 2374], ["kisses", 2374], ["kissest", 2374], ["reis", 2405], ["real", 2405], ["life", 2410], ["lifes", 2410], ["version", 2418], ["little", 2433], ["barbie", 2456], ["ken", 2465], ["kent", 2465], ["smash", 2481], ["smashing", 2481], ["face", 2493], ["faces", 2493], ["together", 2502], ["besides", 2512], ["middle", 2569], ["middles", 2569], ["middling", 2569], ["big", 2578], ["bigs", 2578], ["awkward", 2588], ["hate", 2607], ["hateed", 2607], ["tell", 2669], ["maybe", 2680], ["hate", 2695], ["hateed", 2695], ["hated", 2695], ["seduce", 2736], ["seducing", 2736], ["firstborn", 2750], ["firstborns", 2750], ["son", 2754], ["follow", 2802], ["followed", 2802], ["extra", 2849], ["extras", 2849], ["polite", 2856], ["offer", 2879], ["offered", 2879], ["snack", 2892], ["snacking", 2892], ["great", 2930], ["spilt", 3021], ["spill", 3021], ["spilling", 3021], ["spilled", 3021], ["baby", 3033], ["blue", 3038], ["couch", 3044], ["couchest", 3044], ["bring", 3058], ["brought", 3058], ["cookie", 3070], ["cookied", 3070], ["cookies", 3070], ["left", 3082], ["leave", 3082], ["alone", 3093], ["seem", 3107], ["seeming", 3107], ["seemed", 3107], ["happy", 3116], ["con", 3139], ["take", 3202], ["taking", 3202], ["much", 3211], ["concentration", 3232], ["keep", 3247], ["keepest", 3247], ["keeping", 3247], ["thing", 3291], ["things", 3291], ["house", 3311], ["freak", 3331], ["freaking", 3331], ["freaked", 3331], ["glass", 3360], ["grape", 3367], ["grapes", 3367], ["everything", 3391], ["curtain", 3410], ["curtaining", 3410], ["curtains", 3410], ["match", 3423], ["matching", 3423], ["matched", 3423], ["sofa", 3432], ["doily", 3462], ["napkin", 3470], ["napkins", 3470], ["lamp", 3486], ["lamps", 3486], ["think", 3501], ["thinkest", 3501], ["nobody", 3513], ["interesting", 3525], ["grow", 3536], ["growest", 3536], ["smart", 3609], ["smartest", 3609], ["guy", 3624], ["ever", 3636], ["everest", 3636], ["meet", 3640], ["meeted", 3640], ["met", 3640], ["home", 3664], ["homing", 3664], ["planet", 3671], ["superior", 3705], ["avon", 3733], ["lady", 3738], ["instead", 3760], ["keep", 3771], ["keepest", 3771], ["kept", 3771], ["must", 3803], ["musts", 3803], ["live", 3814], ["parent", 3883], ["parents", 3883], ["six", 3893], ["kind", 3909], ["kinds", 3909], ["cupboard", 3936], ["look", 3980], ["looked", 3980], ["art", 4007], ["suppose", 4034], ["supposed", 4034]]
he saw the merriment in lucas 's face and mentally sent up an apology for all the times he 'd ragged on tony for going out of his mind over gloria . he now understood how his brother had felt . `` now , '' his mother said , `` go take the big table in the corner . lots of room for everybody . your sister has to work , but gloria is on the way with baby anthony . '' oh , ya-ay . a date with meg ... and several members of his family . his mother had obviously been busy ever since joe had called earlier and asked her to hold him a table . the phone lines were probably still smoking . but hell , he 'd asked for it , had n't he ? his plan to make sure he did n't get the chance to lose his head the way he had the night before was obviously going to be completely effective . meg loved joe 's family . his father , in particular , captured her heart because he and joe shared the same smile . the older man had come out of the kitchen every ten minutes throughout the evening to make sure meg 's plate and glass were never empty . his two brothers were incredibly handsome , and were outrageous flirts . tony , the married one , stopped the flirting when his wife showed up . judging by the way tony and gloria looked at one another , meg had no question they were crazy in love . they could barely keep their hands off one another . meg kept her eye on joe , and reminded herself about what dixie had tried to hammer into her brain that afternoon . you are a seductress . she did n't feel much like a seductress , unfortunately , because the man she wanted to seduce had n't touched her all night . it was n't joe 's fault , really . at least one member of his boisterous family had been between them at all times . right now it was his godson , little tony . mrs. santori said when she spied meg holding the baby . she clasped her hands in front of her and smiled widely . `` that is what god intended for you . '' feeling sure her face was rapidly turning the same color as her blouse , meg looked away . her stare collided with joe 's . `` do n't be embarrassed , meg , '' joe 's sister-in-law said . `` this family has absolutely no understanding of the word 'tact ' . did i tell you what one of them gave me for christmas during our secret santa exchange ? '' she shook her head , finally pulling her gaze away from joe . `` a gift certificate to a lingerie shop called sheer delights . i opened it up right in front of everyone . '' startled , meg blurted , `` joe and i met there . '' gloria shifted her stare to joe , who literally squirmed in his seat . so , it was you ? '' standing , she leaned over the table , grabbed both of joe 's cheeks , and pulled him closer . she pressed a loud , smacking kiss on his lips . `` bless you ! '' tony raised his glass to his brother . `` thanks for a great christmas . '' then he gave his wife a secretive smile . `` and a very happy new year . '' the couple positively beamed at each other as everyone else at the table laughed . though she was thoroughly enjoying the company , meg finally glanced at her watch and gave joe a pointed look . `` i guess it 's time to break up this party , '' he said . lots of loud exclamations and hugs accompanied their goodbyes , and it took at least another twenty minutes before meg and joe made it out to the parking lot . holding her coat tightly around her body , meg took a deep , fortifying breath as they reached her car . a light snow had begun to fall , the first in several days , and meg watched as flakes landed on joe 's dark hair and long lashes . she 'd thought her attraction to the man was the most powerful sensation she 'd ever felt . now she wondered if her emotional feelings toward him were even more powerful . she was falling in love with joe santori . more in love with him every time they spoke , every time they touched , every time he looked at her and smiled that smile . `` thank you for dinner , '' she murmured . trying to remember to look hot and desirable instead of goofy and needy , she said , `` would you like to come back to my place ? for a ... cup of coffee ? '' she saw his throat move as he swallowed hard . `` uh , i do n't think so , meg . i have an early walk-through tomorrow , and i probably should get home to go over some figures . '' the only figure she wanted him going over was her own ! but dixie had told her the keys were subtlety and patience . a man needed to be reeled in slowly , aroused by steps , she 'd said . meg lowered her lashes . `` all right , joe . ''	[["see", 6], ["saw", 6], ["merriment", 20], ["lucas", 29], ["face", 37], ["mentally", 50], ["send", 55], ["sent", 55], ["apology", 69], ["time", 87], ["times", 87], ["rag", 100], ["ragged", 100], ["tony", 108], ["go", 118], ["goest", 118], ["going", 118], ["mind", 134], ["minding", 134], ["gloria", 146], ["understand", 166], ["understanded", 166], ["understood", 166], ["brother", 182], ["brethren", 182], ["feel", 191], ["felt", 191], ["mother", 216], ["mothered", 216], ["motherest", 216], ["say", 221], ["sayest", 221], ["said", 221], ["go", 229], ["goest", 229], ["take", 234], ["big", 242], ["bigs", 242], ["table", 248], ["tabled", 248], ["tabling", 248], ["corner", 262], ["lot", 269], ["lots", 269], ["room", 277], ["roomed", 277], ["sister", 305], ["work", 317], ["wrought", 317], ["way", 344], ["ways", 344], ["baby", 354], ["anthony", 362], ["oh", 370], ["ya", 375], ["ay", 378], ["date", 387], ["meg", 396], ["megs", 396], ["several", 412], ["member", 420], ["members", 420], ["family", 434], ["obviously", 461], ["busy", 471], ["busied", 471], ["ever", 476], ["everest", 476], ["since", 482], ["joe", 486], ["joes", 486], ["call", 497], ["called", 497], ["early", 505], ["ask", 515], ["asked", 515], ["hold", 527], ["phone", 551], ["line", 557], ["lines", 557], ["probably", 571], ["still", 577], ["smoke", 585], ["hell", 596], ["hells", 596], ["plan", 641], ["sure", 654], ["get", 669], ["chance", 680], ["chanced", 680], ["chancing", 680], ["lose", 688], ["head", 697], ["night", 722], ["completely", 766], ["effective", 776], ["love", 788], ["loved", 788], ["father", 815], ["fathered", 815], ["fathering", 815], ["particular", 831], ["capture", 842], ["captured", 842], ["heart", 852], ["share", 878], ["shared", 878], ["smile", 893], ["old", 905], ["man", 909], ["mans", 909], ["manned", 909], ["come", 918], ["kitchen", 937], ["kitchens", 937], ["every", 943], ["ten", 947], ["minute", 955], ["minutes", 955], ["throughout", 966], ["evening", 978], ["plate", 1004], ["plating", 1004], ["glass", 1014], ["never", 1025], ["empty", 1031], ["two", 1041], ["twos", 1041], ["brother", 1050], ["brethren", 1050], ["brothers", 1050], ["incredibly", 1066], ["handsome", 1075], ["handsomes", 1075], ["outrageous", 1097], ["flirt", 1104], ["flirts", 1104], ["married", 1125], ["stop", 1139], ["stopped", 1139], ["wife", 1166], ["show", 1173], ["showed", 1173], ["judge", 1186], ["judging", 1186], ["look", 1220], ["looked", 1220], ["another", 1235], ["question", 1257], ["crazy", 1273], ["love", 1281], ["barely", 1301], ["keep", 1306], ["keepest", 1306], ["hand", 1318], ["hands", 1318], ["keep", 1345], ["keepest", 1345], ["kept", 1345], ["eye", 1353], ["eyed", 1353], ["remind", 1375], ["reminded", 1375], ["dixie", 1400], ["try", 1410], ["tryed", 1410], ["tried", 1410], ["hammer", 1420], ["brain", 1435], ["brained", 1435], ["braining", 1435], ["afternoon", 1450], ["seductress", 1473], ["feel", 1492], ["much", 1497], ["like", 1502], ["unfortunately", 1531], ["seduce", 1570], ["seducing", 1570], ["touch", 1586], ["touching", 1586], ["touched", 1586], ["fault", 1626], ["faulting", 1626], ["really", 1635], ["least", 1646], ["leastest", 1646], ["member", 1657], ["boisterous", 1675], ["right", 1725], ["rightest", 1725], ["godson", 1747], ["little", 1756], ["mrs", 1767], ["spy", 1796], ["spied", 1796], ["hold", 1808], ["holding", 1808], ["clasp", 1831], ["clasped", 1831], ["front", 1850], ["smile", 1868], ["smiled", 1868], ["widely", 1875], ["god", 1897], ["intend", 1906], ["intendest", 1906], ["intended", 1906], ["feel", 1927], ["feeling", 1927], ["rapidly", 1953], ["turn", 1961], ["turning", 1961], ["color", 1976], ["blouse", 1990], ["away", 2008], ["stare", 2020], ["stared", 2020], ["collide", 2029], ["collides", 2029], ["collided", 2029], ["law", 2100], ["absolutely", 2137], ["understanding", 2154], ["word", 2166], ["tact", 2172], ["tell", 2187], ["give", 2213], ["gave", 2213], ["secret", 2248], ["santa", 2254], ["santas", 2254], ["exchange", 2263], ["shake", 2278], ["shook", 2278], ["finally", 2297], ["pull", 2305], ["pulling", 2305], ["gaze", 2314], ["gazes", 2314], ["gift", 2340], ["certificate", 2352], ["lingerie", 2366], ["shop", 2371], ["sheer", 2384], ["sheering", 2384], ["open", 2404], ["opened", 2404], ["everyone", 2437], ["blurt", 2465], ["blurted", 2465], ["meet", 2484], ["meeted", 2484], ["met", 2484], ["shift", 2510], ["shifted", 2510], ["literally", 2543], ["squirm", 2552], ["squirmed", 2552], ["seat", 2564], ["stood", 2596], ["stand", 2596], ["standest", 2596], ["standing", 2596], ["lean", 2609], ["leans", 2609], ["leaned", 2609], ["grab", 2634], ["grabbed", 2634], ["cheek", 2656], ["cheeks", 2656], ["pull", 2669], ["pulled", 2669], ["close", 2680], ["closer", 2680], ["press", 2694], ["pressed", 2694], ["loud", 2701], ["smack", 2712], ["kiss", 2717], ["kisses", 2717], ["kissest", 2717], ["lip", 2729], ["lipped", 2729], ["lips", 2729], ["bless", 2740], ["blessest", 2740], ["raise", 2761], ["raised", 2761], ["thank", 2798], ["thanks", 2798], ["thankest", 2798], ["great", 2810], ["secretive", 2859], ["happy", 2887], ["new", 2891], ["year", 2896], ["couple", 2912], ["positively", 2923], ["beam", 2930], ["beamed", 2930], ["else", 2961], ["laugh", 2982], ["laughed", 2982], ["though", 2991], ["thoroughly", 3010], ["enjoy", 3019], ["enjoyed", 3019], ["enjoying", 3019], ["company", 3031], ["companys", 3031], ["companying", 3031], ["glance", 3053], ["glanced", 3053], ["watch", 3066], ["look", 3094], ["guess", 3107], ["time", 3118], ["break", 3127], ["broke", 3127], ["party", 3141], ["exclamation", 3182], ["exclamations", 3182], ["hug", 3191], ["hugs", 3191], ["accompany", 3203], ["accompanied", 3203], ["goodbye", 3218], ["goodbyes", 3218], ["take", 3232], ["took", 3232], ["twenty", 3256], ["parking", 3310], ["lot", 3314], ["coat", 3333], ["tightly", 3341], ["around", 3348], ["body", 3357], ["bodied", 3357], ["deep", 3375], ["deeply", 3375], ["fortify", 3388], ["fortified", 3388], ["fortifying", 3388], ["breath", 3395], ["breathest", 3395], ["reach", 3411], ["reached", 3411], ["car", 3419], ["lit", 3429], ["light", 3429], ["snow", 3434], ["begin", 3444], ["begun", 3444], ["fall", 3452], ["falls", 3452], ["first", 3464], ["firstest", 3464], ["day", 3480], ["days", 3480], ["watch", 3498], ["watched", 3498], ["flake", 3508], ["flakes", 3508], ["land", 3515], ["landed", 3515], ["dark", 3530], ["hair", 3535], ["long", 3544], ["longs", 3544], ["lash", 3551], ["lashes", 3551], ["think", 3568], ["thinkest", 3568], ["thought", 3568], ["attraction", 3583], ["powerful", 3616], ["sensation", 3626], ["wonder", 3662], ["wonderest", 3662], ["wondered", 3662], ["emotional", 3679], ["feeling", 3688], ["feelings", 3688], ["toward", 3695], ["even", 3709], ["evens", 3709], ["fall", 3741], ["falls", 3741], ["falling", 3741], ["speak", 3812], ["spoken", 3812], ["spoke", 3812], ["thank", 3901], ["thanks", 3901], ["thankest", 3901], ["dinner", 3916], ["murmur", 3934], ["murmurest", 3934], ["murmured", 3934], ["try", 3943], ["tryed", 3943], ["trying", 3943], ["remember", 3955], ["rememberest", 3955], ["hot", 3967], ["desirable", 3981], ["instead", 3989], ["goofy", 3998], ["needy", 4008], ["back", 4052], ["place", 4064], ["cup", 4080], ["coffee", 4090], ["throat", 4114], ["move", 4119], ["swallow", 4135], ["swallows", 4135], ["swallowed", 4135], ["hard", 4140], ["uh", 4148], ["think", 4165], ["thinkest", 4165], ["early", 4192], ["walk", 4197], ["tomorrow", 4214], ["tomorrows", 4214], ["home", 4247], ["homing", 4247], ["figure", 4271], ["figures", 4271], ["figure", 4292], ["tell", 4351], ["told", 4351], ["key", 4364], ["keyed", 4364], ["keyest", 4364], ["keys", 4364], ["subtlety", 4378], ["patience", 4391], ["need", 4406], ["needest", 4406], ["needed", 4406], ["reel", 4419], ["reeled", 4419], ["slowly", 4429], ["arouse", 4439], ["aroused", 4439], ["step", 4448], ["steps", 4448], ["lower", 4476], ["lowers", 4476], ["lowerest", 4476], ["lowered", 4476]]
his hair looked like he 'd been combing his hands through it , and his lips were tight . he accused , and i braced myself for a punch that i was sure was coming for some reason . if the counselor 's office was hot , i was in a frying pan now . i pulled the collar of my black hoodie away from my sweaty neck . holding up his phone next to his face , i grabbed it out of his hands and stared in horror as i watched a video of tate and me hav*g sx homecoming night . my heart was jackhammering through my chest , and i could n't catch my breath . hot air poured in and out of my nose . we were in the beckman 's bedroom , and she was on top , completely f*king nakd. how the hell ? madoc had this video . he saw her like that . my fists balled up , ready to slam him to the ground . but ... why would madoc have this video ? i growled , ready to either throw up or thrown down . `` um , everybody , '' he spat out sarcastically . `` you did n't send this , then ? '' `` of course i did n't send this ! we did n't record a sex video . i hollered and vaguely noticed students around us hauling ass outdoors when they should 've been in class . `` well it came from your phone . '' no , no , no ... `` tate might 've got this video . i started for the stairs , knowing she was on the third floor for french , but madoc grabbed me by the inside of my elbow . `` brother , she 's already gone . '' he shook his head , and my stomach plummeted . my phone was missing , and someone had sent a video of tate and me to the whole damn school from my number . i turned and saw sam running down the hall , jerking his thumb to the double doors leading outside . `` tate 's trashing your car , man ! '' madoc and i did n't wait . we charged out the double doors only to see a crowd gathering around my boss . i could n't see much , but i saw her swinging and felt the sharp slash at my chest every time the metal weapon in her hands hit my car . how many times could she be humiliated before she crumbled ? how many times could she be hurt before the damage was irreparable ? `` tate , stop it ! '' i grabbed her from behind before she brought the crowbar back down . i had no idea what the damage was , but i did n't care . she twisted away from me , and spun around to face me . the death in her eyes . the absence of emotion . the surrender of everything good between us that we 'd built this past week . she believed i 'd sent that video to the whole school . she believed i 'd wanted her to hurt again . `` tate ... '' i tried to speak but could n't . she did n't look angry or sad . she 'd given up on me . and i was so paralyzed by that realization , i barely heard her threat . `` stay away from me , or it 'll be more than your car getting busted up next time . '' she walked away , and the crowd around me hushed , but i had nothing to say . i had no f**king clue how i was going to fix this . youth guidance counselor ? chapter 36 `` give me your phone , '' i ordered madoc as i made my way through the crowd of hushed whispers and nosy-fuckin'-invasive eyes . `` man , just leave her alone for now , '' he groaned . all these damn people . their eyes were on me , and there were even some hanging out the school 's windows . everyone had seen this , and someone had probably shot a video of tate tearing up my car . i held out my hand after we 'd gotten some space . he plopped it down in my hand . `` i 'm going to look for her . '' i started dialing tate 's number . `` you stay here and go talk to the principal . make sure she does n't get in trouble for this . '' principal masters was scared of madoc 's father , and thank god for that . mr. caruthers was n't just a lawyer . he was the guy whose cases were studied in law schools . his weight kept us out of trouble , and now tate was going to keep her record clean , too . i dug in my pocket for my keys . `` they 're going to know about the video , jared . he 'll keep her out of trouble , but he 'll call her dad . '' i growled , shutting up everyone around me . girls squealed and others backed away . that 's when i noticed i still had an audience , and for the first time in weeks , felt the need to hit shit .	[["hair", 8], ["look", 15], ["looked", 15], ["like", 20], ["comb", 39], ["combed", 39], ["combing", 39], ["hand", 49], ["hands", 49], ["lip", 75], ["lipped", 75], ["lips", 75], ["tight", 86], ["accuse", 99], ["accused", 99], ["brace", 114], ["braced", 114], ["punch", 133], ["punching", 133], ["sure", 149], ["come", 160], ["coming", 160], ["reason", 176], ["reasonest", 176], ["counselor", 195], ["office", 205], ["hot", 213], ["pan", 237], ["pans", 237], ["pull", 252], ["pulled", 252], ["collar", 263], ["collared", 263], ["black", 275], ["hoodie", 282], ["away", 287], ["sweaty", 302], ["neck", 307], ["necked", 307], ["hold", 317], ["holding", 317], ["phone", 330], ["next", 335], ["face", 347], ["grab", 359], ["grabbed", 359], ["stare", 390], ["stared", 390], ["horror", 400], ["watch", 413], ["watched", 413], ["video", 421], ["tate", 429], ["homecoming", 458], ["night", 464], ["heart", 475], ["jackhammered", 493], ["chest", 510], ["catch", 534], ["catches", 534], ["catched", 534], ["breath", 544], ["breathest", 544], ["air", 554], ["airs", 554], ["airing", 554], ["pour", 561], ["poured", 561], ["nose", 583], ["nosed", 583], ["nosing", 583], ["bedroom", 619], ["top", 640], ["completely", 653], ["hell", 681], ["hells", 681], ["see", 713], ["saw", 713], ["fist", 738], ["fists", 738], ["ball", 745], ["balled", 745], ["ready", 756], ["slam", 764], ["ground", 782], ["growl", 836], ["growls", 836], ["growled", 836], ["either", 854], ["throw", 860], ["throw", 873], ["thrown", 873], ["um", 886], ["spit", 911], ["spitting", 911], ["sarcastically", 929], ["send", 951], ["course", 981], ["record", 1021], ["sex", 1027], ["holler", 1046], ["hollering", 1046], ["vaguely", 1058], ["notice", 1066], ["noticed", 1066], ["student", 1075], ["students", 1075], ["around", 1082], ["haul", 1093], ["hauls", 1093], ["hauling", 1093], ["ass", 1097], ["outdoors", 1106], ["class", 1141], ["classing", 1141], ["classest", 1141], ["well", 1151], ["wells", 1151], ["come", 1159], ["came", 1159], ["may", 1211], ["mays", 1211], ["mayest", 1211], ["might", 1211], ["get", 1219], ["got", 1219], ["start", 1242], ["started", 1242], ["stair", 1257], ["stairs", 1257], ["know", 1267], ["knowest", 1267], ["knowing", 1267], ["third", 1288], ["floor", 1294], ["french", 1305], ["inside", 1342], ["elbow", 1354], ["elbowing", 1354], ["brother", 1367], ["brethren", 1367], ["already", 1384], ["go", 1389], ["goest", 1389], ["gone", 1389], ["shake", 1403], ["shook", 1403], ["head", 1412], ["stomach", 1429], ["stomachs", 1429], ["stomaching", 1429], ["plummet", 1439], ["plummeted", 1439], ["send", 1485], ["sent", 1485], ["whole", 1521], ["wholes", 1521], ["damn", 1526], ["damned", 1526], ["school", 1533], ["schooling", 1533], ["number", 1548], ["numbering", 1548], ["turn", 1559], ["turned", 1559], ["sam", 1571], ["run", 1579], ["running", 1579], ["hall", 1593], ["jerk", 1603], ["jerks", 1603], ["jerked", 1603], ["jerking", 1603], ["thumb", 1613], ["thumbed", 1613], ["double", 1627], ["door", 1633], ["doors", 1633], ["lead", 1641], ["leaded", 1641], ["leading", 1641], ["outside", 1649], ["trash", 1671], ["trashes", 1671], ["trashing", 1671], ["car", 1680], ["man", 1686], ["mans", 1686], ["manned", 1686], ["wait", 1716], ["waitest", 1716], ["charge", 1729], ["charged", 1729], ["see", 1762], ["crowd", 1770], ["crowdest", 1770], ["crowding", 1770], ["gather", 1780], ["gatherest", 1780], ["boss", 1795], ["much", 1818], ["swinge", 1843], ["swinged", 1843], ["swinging", 1843], ["feel", 1852], ["felt", 1852], ["sharp", 1862], ["sharps", 1862], ["slash", 1868], ["every", 1886], ["time", 1891], ["metal", 1901], ["weapon", 1908], ["hit", 1925], ["many", 1943], ["time", 1949], ["times", 1949], ["humiliate", 1973], ["humiliated", 1973], ["crumble", 1993], ["crumbles", 1993], ["crumbled", 1993], ["hurt", 2028], ["hurts", 2028], ["hurting", 2028], ["damage", 2046], ["damaging", 2046], ["irreparable", 2062], ["stop", 2079], ["behind", 2113], ["bring", 2132], ["brought", 2132], ["crowbar", 2144], ["back", 2149], ["idea", 2170], ["twist", 2225], ["twisted", 2225], ["twisting", 2225], ["spun", 2249], ["spin", 2249], ["death", 2279], ["eye", 2291], ["eyed", 2291], ["eyes", 2291], ["absence", 2305], ["emotion", 2316], ["surrender", 2332], ["surrenders", 2332], ["surrenderest", 2332], ["surrendering", 2332], ["everything", 2346], ["good", 2351], ["build", 2379], ["builds", 2379], ["built", 2379], ["past", 2389], ["week", 2394], ["believe", 2409], ["believed", 2409], ["try", 2520], ["tryed", 2520], ["tried", 2520], ["speak", 2529], ["spoken", 2529], ["look", 2562], ["angry", 2568], ["sad", 2575], ["give", 2590], ["given", 2590], ["realization", 2644], ["barely", 2655], ["hear", 2661], ["hears", 2661], ["heard", 2661], ["threat", 2672], ["stay", 2682], ["get", 2737], ["getting", 2737], ["bust", 2744], ["busted", 2744], ["walk", 2773], ["walked", 2773], ["hush", 2811], ["hushed", 2811], ["nothing", 2831], ["say", 2838], ["sayest", 2838], ["clue", 2862], ["clues", 2862], ["go", 2878], ["goest", 2878], ["going", 2878], ["fix", 2885], ["fixes", 2885], ["youth", 2898], ["guidance", 2907], ["chapter", 2927], ["give", 2938], ["order", 2967], ["orderest", 2967], ["ordered", 2967], ["way", 2990], ["ways", 2990], ["whisper", 3027], ["whispers", 3027], ["nosy", 3036], ["left", 3080], ["leave", 3080], ["alone", 3090], ["groan", 3114], ["groans", 3114], ["groanest", 3114], ["groaning", 3114], ["groaned", 3114], ["people", 3138], ["even", 3184], ["evens", 3184], ["hung", 3197], ["hang", 3197], ["hangs", 3197], ["hanging", 3197], ["window", 3223], ["windows", 3223], ["everyone", 3234], ["see", 3243], ["seen", 3243], ["probably", 3275], ["shoot", 3280], ["shooted", 3280], ["shot", 3280], ["tear", 3304], ["teared", 3304], ["tearing", 3304], ["hold", 3323], ["held", 3323], ["hand", 3335], ["get", 3354], ["gotten", 3354], ["space", 3365], ["spaced", 3365], ["spacing", 3365], ["plop", 3378], ["plopped", 3378], ["dial", 3452], ["go", 3493], ["goest", 3493], ["talk", 3498], ["principal", 3515], ["get", 3544], ["trouble", 3555], ["troubling", 3555], ["master", 3587], ["masters", 3587], ["scare", 3598], ["scared", 3598], ["father", 3617], ["fathered", 3617], ["fathering", 3617], ["thank", 3629], ["thanks", 3629], ["thankest", 3629], ["god", 3633], ["mr", 3647], ["lawyer", 3680], ["guy", 3697], ["whose", 3703], ["case", 3709], ["cases", 3709], ["study", 3722], ["studied", 3722], ["law", 3729], ["school", 3737], ["schooling", 3737], ["schools", 3737], ["weight", 3750], ["weighted", 3750], ["weightest", 3750], ["keep", 3755], ["keepest", 3755], ["kept", 3755], ["keep", 3806], ["keepest", 3806], ["clean", 3823], ["cleans", 3823], ["dug", 3837], ["dig", 3837], ["digs", 3837], ["digest", 3837], ["pocket", 3850], ["pocketing", 3850], ["key", 3862], ["keyed", 3862], ["keyest", 3862], ["keys", 3862], ["know", 3890], ["knowest", 3890], ["jar", 3914], ["jared", 3914], ["jarred", 3914], ["jarring", 3914], ["call", 3965], ["dad", 3973], ["shut", 3999], ["shutting", 3999], ["girl", 4029], ["girls", 4029], ["squeal", 4038], ["squealed", 4038], ["back", 4056], ["backed", 4056], ["still", 4094], ["audience", 4110], ["first", 4130], ["firstest", 4130], ["week", 4144], ["weeks", 4144], ["need", 4160], ["needest", 4160], ["shit", 4172]]
i replied with a nod . he inched a bit closer with every word i said until he was about at arms length . i 've always wanted to know how to playing guitar . he said , glancing at the guitar neck poking out from behind my back . i could show you some time . it was an empty offer of course though . oh ... of course . i said , a little taken aback . this guy jumped right into everything . he was different , but a good kind of different . he sat down in one of the arena seats and i hesitantly took a seat beside him . okay , first put your hands here . i said , pointing to the guitar neck . no matter how i tried to describe it he simply would n't place his hand on the right spot of the neck . so i put my hands over his trying to guide him better . he smiled a little when i did and i was n't sure why . he looked at my wrist and took it softly in his hand . why does it say that ? he asked , staring at the word . it was the word strong written in bold letters from the day before when hunter had wrote it there . i shifted uncomfortably , trying to take my wrist away . his grip remained firm though . he pulled up his shirt sleeve to reveal the same word tattooed in the same bold letters on his upper arm . he held my wrist next to his forearm and compared the two . they looked almost identical . he whispered , looking from his arm to my wrist . he was blunt and straight to the point . i liked that a lot actually . how about you tell me your 's first ? i asked , challenging his bravery . it 's quite a long one . i said , with a shrug . he took a deep breathe and stared off at the stage before beginning well , i was home-schooled pretty much my entire which and as you can imagine that was a problem all of it 's own . it works for some people , but not really for me . i was n't that type . my parents and i fought a lot so it just was n't working . my mom got a job when i was twelve and decided to put me in public school . right away , i could tell how incredibly different i was from all the other kids . i dressed different , acted different , learned differently , and even talked differently . never in my life have i felt less accepted than when those school doors opened wide . i was picked last in just about everything . i remember sitting there miserably while they picked teams knowing i 'd be last ... every single day . i 'd run home from school as fast as i could in fear of getting beat up and it actually happened a few times . but all of this changed one day . i met a girl and her name was jade . i know it sounds cheesy , but the minute i saw her i knew i loved her . he said with a far away look in his eyes . you could tell just by the way he said her name that he loved her . jade was the prettiest girl in school with long blonde , flowing hair and crystal blue eyes . when she smiled at me it was kind of like nobody else in the world existed . i was dared one day to ask her out . they knew i 'd only embarrass myself and she 'd reject me , but i wanted to prove them wrong . then ... she said yes . she told me to pick her up at seven and that i better not be late . all the guys sat there with their jaws hanging to the floor . we dated from sophomore year until senior year . i was positive that was the girl i 'd spend the rest of my life with . his eyes flickered when he said it and i could tell a dark memory was popping into his head . it was on the year of our third anniversary . i had dinner reservations and that was when i was planning to purpose . he said , tears beginning to form in his dark eyes . purpose ? ! nineteen ... i know i 'm young . but when you love someone like that age does n't seem to really matter that much anymore . he said , a smile forming on his lips . i shrugged and leaned forward intently ready for him to continue his story . i was with some friends and we were being really stupid . i had gotten this new car and i was so stoked to drive it . my buddies asked me to race . jade said it was a bad idea , but i did n't care . i told it would all be okay ... i was going so fast and then i slammed on the breaks . she was the only one not wearing a seat-belt . she went through the windshield and ... his voice started to quiver . he was trying to be tough . i almost reached out to comfort him , but i stopped myself . i just stayed quiet , the silence willing him to go on . i remember her hands flying out in front of me then her screaming ... then silence . i hit my head on the dashboard and collar bone on the dashboard .	[["reply", 9], ["replied", 9], ["nod", 20], ["inch", 32], ["inched", 32], ["bit", 38], ["bits", 38], ["close", 45], ["closer", 45], ["every", 56], ["word", 61], ["say", 68], ["sayest", 68], ["said", 68], ["arm", 95], ["arms", 95], ["length", 102], ["always", 117], ["know", 132], ["knowest", 132], ["play", 147], ["playest", 147], ["playing", 147], ["guitar", 154], ["glance", 175], ["glancing", 175], ["neck", 194], ["necked", 194], ["poke", 201], ["poking", 201], ["behind", 217], ["back", 225], ["show", 240], ["time", 254], ["empty", 272], ["offer", 278], ["course", 288], ["though", 295], ["oh", 300], ["little", 334], ["take", 340], ["taken", 340], ["aback", 346], ["abacks", 346], ["guy", 357], ["jump", 364], ["jumps", 364], ["jumped", 364], ["right", 370], ["rightest", 370], ["everything", 386], ["different", 405], ["good", 418], ["kind", 423], ["sat", 445], ["sit", 445], ["arena", 470], ["arenas", 470], ["seat", 476], ["seats", 476], ["hesitantly", 493], ["take", 498], ["took", 498], ["seat", 505], ["beside", 512], ["okay", 523], ["first", 531], ["firstest", 531], ["put", 535], ["hand", 546], ["hands", 546], ["point", 571], ["pointing", 571], ["matter", 602], ["mattering", 602], ["try", 614], ["tryed", 614], ["tried", 614], ["describe", 626], ["simply", 639], ["place", 655], ["hand", 664], ["spot", 682], ["try", 730], ["tryed", 730], ["trying", 730], ["guide", 739], ["well", 750], ["wells", 750], ["smile", 762], ["smiled", 762], ["sure", 801], ["look", 817], ["looked", 817], ["wrist", 829], ["softly", 848], ["say", 878], ["sayest", 878], ["ask", 894], ["asked", 894], ["stare", 904], ["stared", 904], ["staring", 904], ["strong", 941], ["write", 949], ["writing", 949], ["written", 949], ["bold", 957], ["letter", 965], ["lettering", 965], ["letters", 965], ["day", 978], ["hunter", 997], ["write", 1007], ["writing", 1007], ["wrote", 1007], ["shift", 1028], ["shifted", 1028], ["uncomfortably", 1042], ["take", 1059], ["away", 1073], ["grip", 1084], ["remain", 1093], ["remained", 1093], ["firm", 1098], ["pull", 1117], ["pulled", 1117], ["shirt", 1130], ["sleeve", 1137], ["sleeving", 1137], ["reveal", 1147], ["tattoo", 1170], ["tattoos", 1170], ["tattooing", 1170], ["tattooed", 1170], ["upper", 1208], ["arm", 1212], ["hold", 1222], ["held", 1222], ["next", 1236], ["forearm", 1251], ["compare", 1264], ["compared", 1264], ["two", 1272], ["twos", 1272], ["almost", 1293], ["identical", 1303], ["whisper", 1318], ["whispered", 1318], ["look", 1328], ["looking", 1328], ["blunt", 1368], ["blunted", 1368], ["blunting", 1368], ["straight", 1381], ["point", 1394], ["like", 1404], ["liked", 1404], ["lot", 1415], ["tell", 1445], ["challenge", 1486], ["challenging", 1486], ["bravery", 1498], ["quite", 1512], ["long", 1519], ["longs", 1519], ["shrug", 1547], ["shrugging", 1547], ["deep", 1564], ["deeply", 1564], ["breathe", 1572], ["breathes", 1572], ["stare", 1583], ["stared", 1583], ["stage", 1600], ["staging", 1600], ["begin", 1617], ["beginning", 1617], ["well", 1622], ["wells", 1622], ["home", 1635], ["homing", 1635], ["school", 1644], ["schooling", 1644], ["schooled", 1644], ["pretty", 1651], ["prettiest", 1651], ["much", 1656], ["entire", 1666], ["imagine", 1695], ["problem", 1714], ["work", 1742], ["wrought", 1742], ["works", 1742], ["people", 1758], ["really", 1775], ["type", 1804], ["parent", 1817], ["parents", 1817], ["fight", 1830], ["fightest", 1830], ["fought", 1830], ["work", 1863], ["wrought", 1863], ["working", 1863], ["mom", 1872], ["moms", 1872], ["get", 1876], ["got", 1876], ["job", 1882], ["jobbing", 1882], ["twelve", 1900], ["twelves", 1900], ["decide", 1912], ["decided", 1912], ["public", 1932], ["school", 1939], ["schooling", 1939], ["incredibly", 1982], ["kid", 2022], ["kids", 2022], ["dress", 2034], ["dressest", 2034], ["dressed", 2034], ["act", 2052], ["acted", 2052], ["learn", 2072], ["learnt", 2072], ["learns", 2072], ["learned", 2072], ["differently", 2084], ["even", 2095], ["evens", 2095], ["talk", 2102], ["talked", 2102], ["never", 2122], ["life", 2133], ["lifes", 2133], ["feel", 2145], ["felt", 2145], ["less", 2150], ["accept", 2159], ["accepted", 2159], ["door", 2188], ["doors", 2188], ["open", 2195], ["opened", 2195], ["wide", 2200], ["pick", 2215], ["picked", 2215], ["last", 2220], ["remember", 2258], ["rememberest", 2258], ["sat", 2266], ["sit", 2266], ["sitting", 2266], ["miserably", 2282], ["team", 2306], ["teamed", 2306], ["teaming", 2306], ["teams", 2306], ["know", 2314], ["knowest", 2314], ["knowing", 2314], ["single", 2344], ["run", 2359], ["fast", 2384], ["fear", 2403], ["fearest", 2403], ["get", 2414], ["getting", 2414], ["beat", 2419], ["happen", 2447], ["happened", 2447], ["time", 2459], ["times", 2459], ["change", 2485], ["changed", 2485], ["meet", 2501], ["meeted", 2501], ["met", 2501], ["girl", 2508], ["name", 2521], ["jade", 2530], ["sound", 2549], ["sounds", 2549], ["cheesy", 2556], ["minute", 2573], ["see", 2579], ["saw", 2579], ["know", 2590], ["knowest", 2590], ["knew", 2590], ["love", 2598], ["loved", 2598], ["far", 2623], ["look", 2633], ["eye", 2645], ["eyed", 2645], ["eyes", 2645], ["way", 2678], ["ways", 2678], ["blonde", 2770], ["flow", 2780], ["flows", 2780], ["flowing", 2780], ["hair", 2785], ["crystal", 2797], ["blue", 2802], ["like", 2851], ["nobody", 2858], ["else", 2863], ["world", 2876], ["exist", 2884], ["existest", 2884], ["existed", 2884], ["dare", 2898], ["dared", 2898], ["ask", 2913], ["embarrass", 2953], ["embarrassed", 2953], ["reject", 2978], ["prof", 3005], ["prove", 3005], ["wrong", 3016], ["yes", 3040], ["tell", 3051], ["told", 3051], ["pick", 3062], ["seven", 3078], ["late", 3108], ["lates", 3108], ["guy", 3123], ["guys", 3123], ["jaw", 3149], ["jaws", 3149], ["jawed", 3149], ["jawest", 3149], ["hung", 3157], ["hang", 3157], ["hangs", 3157], ["hanging", 3157], ["floor", 3170], ["date", 3181], ["dated", 3181], ["sophomore", 3196], ["year", 3201], ["senior", 3214], ["positive", 3236], ["spend", 3265], ["spends", 3265], ["spendest", 3265], ["rest", 3274], ["flicker", 3311], ["flickered", 3311], ["flickering", 3311], ["dark", 3351], ["memory", 3358], ["memories", 3358], ["pop", 3370], ["popping", 3370], ["head", 3384], ["third", 3418], ["anniversary", 3430], ["dinner", 3445], ["reservation", 3458], ["reservations", 3458], ["plan", 3491], ["purpose", 3502], ["tear", 3520], ["teared", 3520], ["tears", 3520], ["form", 3538], ["formest", 3538], ["nineteen", 3578], ["nineteens", 3578], ["young", 3600], ["youngest", 3600], ["love", 3620], ["age", 3642], ["aged", 3642], ["seem", 3656], ["seeming", 3656], ["anymore", 3691], ["smile", 3711], ["form", 3719], ["formest", 3719], ["forming", 3719], ["lip", 3731], ["lipped", 3731], ["lips", 3731], ["shrug", 3744], ["shrugging", 3744], ["shrugged", 3744], ["lean", 3755], ["leans", 3755], ["leaned", 3755], ["forward", 3763], ["forwardest", 3763], ["forwarding", 3763], ["intently", 3772], ["ready", 3778], ["continue", 3798], ["story", 3808], ["friend", 3834], ["friends", 3834], ["stupid", 3866], ["get", 3881], ["gotten", 3881], ["new", 3890], ["car", 3894], ["stoke", 3914], ["stoked", 3914], ["drive", 3923], ["buddy", 3939], ["buddies", 3939], ["race", 3956], ["racing", 3956], ["bad", 3981], ["idea", 3986], ["go", 4053], ["goest", 4053], ["going", 4053], ["slam", 4080], ["slammed", 4080], ["break", 4094], ["broke", 4094], ["breaks", 4094], ["wear", 4129], ["wearing", 4129], ["belt", 4141], ["belts", 4141], ["belted", 4141], ["belting", 4141], ["beltest", 4141], ["go", 4152], ["goest", 4152], ["went", 4152], ["windshield", 4175], ["voice", 4193], ["start", 4201], ["started", 4201], ["quiver", 4211], ["quiverest", 4211], ["tough", 4239], ["reach", 4258], ["reached", 4258], ["comfort", 4273], ["stop", 4293], ["stopped", 4293], ["stay", 4316], ["stayed", 4316], ["quiet", 4322], ["silence", 4336], ["go", 4354], ["goest", 4354], ["fly", 4387], ["flys", 4387], ["flying", 4387], ["front", 4400], ["screaming", 4425], ["hit", 4450], ["dashboard", 4475], ["collar", 4486], ["collared", 4486], ["bone", 4491], ["bonest", 4491]]
`` no , '' lionel said as he climbed into his truck . `` the only bad thing is that miss m used that wolf for inspiration . now she wo n't ever get to see him again . '' `` i have a really good memory , '' rachel said . `` you still should 've taken more pictures while you had the chance . '' `` i doubt the wolf would have appreciated that , '' she said . `` he was pretty beat-up . '' her assistant laughed . `` you think that wolf was vain ? '' rachel sent the briefest of winks in jake 's direction . `` sounds like an inside joke . '' lionel looked from rachel to jake with a bemused expression . `` well , see you two later . he backed his truck out of the parking area . rachel glanced up at jake . `` i guess that went okay . '' jake watched lionel 's truck disappear around a curve in the road before turning back to rachel . `` he thinks a lot of you . '' `` i think a lot of him . '' `` he 's liable to hunt me down after we ... well , when all this is over between us . '' he hated the finality of those words and wondered if she hated it as much as he did . he imagined he saw a flicker of regret in her silver eyes . then she blinked , and her gaze was clear . `` i 'll make sure he knows it was a mutual decision . lionel is protective , but he listens , and he 's smart enough to know when to back off . he wanted me to turn you over to fish and game when you were in my cabin , but when i said no , he let me do things my way . '' `` i would never have called them , jake . as for lionel , he would n't do anything to jeopardize his job with me . i think he knows that i 'm hoping he 'll become my apprentice . if he starts helping me with the carving , then i can pay him more and give him longer hours . '' lucky guy , to have the prospect of spending more time with her . `` that would be a great opportunity for him . '' i have more work than i can handle . if i had a partner in the business , it would free me up for ... other things . '' something about the way she said that put him on alert . she met his gaze , and there was a defiant light in her eyes . `` like what most women my age would like to have-a great relationship with a guy , maybe even some kids . '' although she might be saying that to find out how he 'd react , he pretended that the concept of her with someone else did n't bother him at all . but inside he was screaming in protest , which he had no right to do . `` being with you has convinced me i have to try harder to find that . i 've been so wrapped up in my work that i have n't made dating a priority . when nobody interesting turned up on the internet sites , i let the whole idea drop . '' `` so how are you going to meet mr . from a possessive standpoint , jake did n't want her anywhere near another male . from a security standpoint , he wondered if a close relationship would make her more vulnerable to accidentally revealing the secret she had to keep . hoisting her backpack over her shoulder , she started down the path toward her cabin . `` i 'll probably get my friends in fairbanks involved . we 've known each other since college , and they 've been after me to get a life . '' jake fell into step beside her . `` do you see them much ? '' `` not as much as i should , but i 've been so busy with work . i need to reduce the number of hours so i can socialize more . '' but he could n't help worrying . he pictured nights of food , wine , and laughter . her guard would be down . a slip of the tongue would be so easy . `` your jaw is clenched , big boy . he consciously relaxed his muscles . `` you 're afraid i 'll spill the beans to my friends , are n't you ? '' `` you would n't mean to . '' `` i would n't do it , period . but let 's say for the sake of argument that i got a little tipsy and started talking about you . then i had another glass of wine and told everyone that i slept with a werewolf . '' he stopped walking as his whole body tightened . she stopped , too , and turned back to him . `` of course not , but even if i did , do n't you see what would happen ? no one would believe me ! they 'd laugh and think i was making a joke . there 's no way i could accidentally betray you . i would n't be taken seriously . '' he scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed . `` you 'll have to forgive me for my paranoia .	[["lionel", 17], ["say", 22], ["sayest", 22], ["said", 22], ["climb", 36], ["climbed", 36], ["truck", 51], ["bad", 69], ["thing", 75], ["miss", 88], ["use", 95], ["used", 95], ["wolf", 105], ["inspiration", 121], ["wo", 134], ["ever", 143], ["everest", 143], ["get", 147], ["see", 154], ["really", 188], ["good", 193], ["memory", 200], ["memories", 200], ["rachel", 212], ["still", 232], ["take", 249], ["taken", 249], ["picture", 263], ["pictures", 263], ["chance", 288], ["chanced", 288], ["chancing", 288], ["doubt", 304], ["appreciate", 336], ["appreciates", 336], ["appreciated", 336], ["pretty", 374], ["prettiest", 374], ["beat", 379], ["assistant", 401], ["laugh", 409], ["laughed", 409], ["think", 424], ["thinkest", 424], ["vain", 443], ["send", 460], ["sent", 460], ["brief", 473], ["briefing", 473], ["briefest", 473], ["jake", 490], ["jakes", 490], ["jaked", 490], ["direction", 503], ["sound", 515], ["sounds", 515], ["like", 520], ["inside", 530], ["joke", 535], ["jokes", 535], ["look", 554], ["looked", 554], ["expression", 600], ["well", 610], ["wells", 610], ["two", 624], ["twos", 624], ["later", 630], ["back", 642], ["backed", 642], ["parking", 671], ["area", 676], ["glance", 693], ["glanced", 693], ["guess", 717], ["go", 727], ["goest", 727], ["went", 727], ["okay", 732], ["watch", 750], ["watched", 750], ["disappear", 776], ["around", 783], ["curve", 791], ["curved", 791], ["road", 803], ["turn", 818], ["turning", 818], ["back", 823], ["think", 848], ["thinkest", 848], ["thinks", 848], ["lot", 854], ["liable", 911], ["hunt", 919], ["hunting", 919], ["huntest", 919], ["hate", 994], ["hateed", 994], ["hated", 994], ["finality", 1007], ["word", 1022], ["words", 1022], ["wonder", 1035], ["wonderest", 1035], ["wondered", 1035], ["much", 1059], ["imagine", 1083], ["imagined", 1083], ["see", 1090], ["saw", 1090], ["flicker", 1100], ["flickered", 1100], ["flickering", 1100], ["regret", 1110], ["silver", 1124], ["silvered", 1124], ["eye", 1129], ["eyed", 1129], ["eyes", 1129], ["blink", 1148], ["blinked", 1148], ["gaze", 1163], ["gazes", 1163], ["clear", 1173], ["clearest", 1173], ["sure", 1194], ["know", 1203], ["knowest", 1203], ["knows", 1203], ["mutual", 1219], ["decision", 1228], ["protective", 1251], ["listen", 1268], ["listens", 1268], ["smart", 1286], ["enough", 1293], ["know", 1301], ["knowest", 1301], ["turn", 1341], ["fish", 1358], ["fishes", 1358], ["fishest", 1358], ["game", 1367], ["cabin", 1393], ["let", 1423], ["lets", 1423], ["thing", 1436], ["things", 1436], ["way", 1443], ["ways", 1443], ["never", 1465], ["call", 1477], ["called", 1477], ["anything", 1532], ["jeopardize", 1546], ["jeopardized", 1546], ["jeopardizes", 1546], ["job", 1554], ["jobbing", 1554], ["hope", 1598], ["hoping", 1598], ["become", 1612], ["apprentice", 1626], ["apprenticing", 1626], ["start", 1641], ["starts", 1641], ["help", 1649], ["helpest", 1649], ["helping", 1649], ["carving", 1669], ["pay", 1686], ["pays", 1686], ["payest", 1686], ["give", 1704], ["long", 1715], ["longs", 1715], ["hour", 1721], ["hours", 1721], ["lucky", 1732], ["guy", 1736], ["prospect", 1759], ["spend", 1771], ["spends", 1771], ["spendest", 1771], ["time", 1781], ["great", 1817], ["opportunity", 1829], ["work", 1859], ["wrought", 1859], ["handle", 1877], ["partner", 1898], ["business", 1914], ["free", 1930], ["put", 2004], ["alert", 2017], ["alerted", 2017], ["meet", 2027], ["meeted", 2027], ["met", 2027], ["defiant", 2062], ["lit", 2068], ["light", 2068], ["woman", 2106], ["womans", 2106], ["women", 2106], ["age", 2113], ["aged", 2113], ["relationship", 2153], ["maybe", 2172], ["even", 2177], ["evens", 2177], ["kid", 2187], ["kids", 2187], ["although", 2201], ["may", 2211], ["mays", 2211], ["mayest", 2211], ["might", 2211], ["say", 2221], ["sayest", 2221], ["saying", 2221], ["find", 2234], ["react", 2254], ["pretend", 2269], ["pretendest", 2269], ["pretended", 2269], ["concept", 2286], ["else", 2311], ["bother", 2326], ["bothers", 2326], ["bothering", 2326], ["scream", 2367], ["screams", 2367], ["screaming", 2367], ["protest", 2378], ["protestest", 2378], ["right", 2402], ["rightest", 2402], ["convince", 2442], ["convinced", 2442], ["convincing", 2442], ["try", 2459], ["tryed", 2459], ["hard", 2466], ["wrap", 2503], ["wraps", 2503], ["wrapping", 2503], ["wrapped", 2503], ["date", 2545], ["dating", 2545], ["priority", 2556], ["nobody", 2570], ["interesting", 2582], ["turn", 2589], ["turned", 2589], ["internet", 2608], ["site", 2614], ["siting", 2614], ["sites", 2614], ["whole", 2632], ["wholes", 2632], ["idea", 2637], ["drop", 2642], ["go", 2671], ["goest", 2671], ["going", 2671], ["meet", 2679], ["meeted", 2679], ["mr", 2682], ["possessive", 2702], ["standpoint", 2713], ["anywhere", 2746], ["near", 2751], ["another", 2759], ["male", 2764], ["males", 2764], ["security", 2782], ["close", 2818], ["vulnerable", 2862], ["accidentally", 2878], ["reveal", 2888], ["revealing", 2888], ["secret", 2899], ["keep", 2915], ["keepest", 2915], ["hoist", 2926], ["hoisting", 2926], ["backpack", 2939], ["backpacking", 2939], ["shoulder", 2957], ["shouldered", 2957], ["start", 2971], ["started", 2971], ["path", 2985], ["toward", 2992], ["probably", 3022], ["friend", 3037], ["friends", 3037], ["fairbanks", 3050], ["involve", 3059], ["involved", 3059], ["know", 3074], ["knowest", 3074], ["known", 3074], ["since", 3091], ["college", 3099], ["life", 3142], ["lifes", 3142], ["fall", 3157], ["falls", 3157], ["fell", 3157], ["step", 3167], ["beside", 3174], ["busy", 3261], ["busied", 3261], ["need", 3280], ["needest", 3280], ["reduce", 3290], ["number", 3301], ["numbering", 3301], ["socialize", 3329], ["socializes", 3329], ["help", 3361], ["helpest", 3361], ["worry", 3370], ["worried", 3370], ["worrying", 3370], ["picture", 3384], ["pictured", 3384], ["night", 3391], ["nights", 3391], ["food", 3399], ["foods", 3399], ["wine", 3406], ["laughter", 3421], ["guard", 3433], ["slip", 3456], ["tongue", 3470], ["tonguing", 3470], ["easy", 3487], ["jaw", 3501], ["jaws", 3501], ["jawed", 3501], ["jawest", 3501], ["clench", 3513], ["clenched", 3513], ["big", 3519], ["bigs", 3519], ["boy", 3523], ["consciously", 3540], ["relax", 3548], ["relaxed", 3548], ["muscle", 3560], ["muscles", 3560], ["afraid", 3580], ["spilt", 3592], ["spill", 3592], ["spilling", 3592], ["bean", 3602], ["beaning", 3602], ["beans", 3602], ["mean", 3657], ["meanest", 3657], ["period", 3695], ["periods", 3695], ["say", 3712], ["sayest", 3712], ["sake", 3725], ["sakes", 3725], ["argument", 3737], ["get", 3748], ["got", 3748], ["little", 3757], ["tipsy", 3763], ["talk", 3783], ["talking", 3783], ["glass", 3820], ["tell", 3837], ["told", 3837], ["everyone", 3846], ["slept", 3859], ["sleep", 3859], ["sleeps", 3859], ["sleepest", 3859], ["werewolf", 3875], ["stop", 3891], ["stopped", 3891], ["walk", 3899], ["walking", 3899], ["body", 3917], ["bodied", 3917], ["tighten", 3927], ["tightens", 3927], ["tightenest", 3927], ["tightened", 3927], ["course", 3987], ["happen", 4046], ["believe", 4069], ["laugh", 4088], ["betray", 4164], ["betrayed", 4164], ["betraying", 4164], ["seriously", 4201], ["scrub", 4218], ["scrubbed", 4218], ["hand", 4225], ["face", 4239], ["sigh", 4250], ["sighest", 4250], ["sighed", 4250], ["forgive", 4279], ["forgived", 4279], ["forgiving", 4279], ["paranoia", 4298], ["paranoias", 4298]]
rollo , not wishing to be left out of anything , flashed past in a gray blur and hurtled down the hillside after his master like a falling rock . `` do n't worry , '' i said , patting marsali 's arm . `` oh , aye , '' she said , looking after them . `` if they shouldna find him in time , though ... '' `` they will , '' i said firmly . i sent lizzie to find brianna and malva christie-i thought i might well need more hands-and sent marsali to the kitchen to rest with mrs. bug , while i readied the surgery . fresh bedding and pillows , spread on my examination table . a bed would be better , but i needed to have my equipment to hand . and the equipment itself : the surgical instruments , carefully hidden beneath a clean towel ; the ether mask , lined with fresh thick gauze ; the dropping bottle-could i trust malva to administer the ether , if i had to perform emergency surgery ? i thought perhaps i could ; the girl was very young , and quite untrained , but she had a remarkable coolness about her , and i knew she was n't squeamish . i filled the dropping bottle , averting my face from the sweet , thick scent that drifted from the liquid , and put a small twist of cotton in the spout , to keep the ether from evaporating and gassing us all-or catching fire . i glanced hastily at the hearth , but the fire was out . what if labor was prolonged and then things went wrong-if i had to do this at night , by candlelight ? i could n't ; ether was hideously inflammable . i shoved away the mental picture of myself performing an emergency cesarean section in the pitch-dark , by feel . `` if you have a moment to spare , this would be a bloody good time to have a look-in , '' i muttered , addressing this remark collectively to saints bride , raymond , and margaret of antioch , all presumably patrons of childbirth and expectant mothers , plus any guardian angels-mine , marsali 's , or the child's-who might be hovering about in the offing . evidently , someone was listening . when i got marsali boosted up onto the table , i was terribly relieved to find that the cervix had begun to dilate-but there was no sign of bleeding . it did n't remove the risk of hemorrhage , by any means , but it did mean the probability was much lower . her blood pressure seemed all right , so far as i could tell by looking at her , and the baby 's heartbeat had steadied , though the baby had stopped moving , refusing to respond to pokes and shoves . `` sound asleep , i expect , '' i said , smiling at marsali . `` resting up . '' she gave me a tiny smile in return , and turned onto her side , grunting like a hog . `` i could use a bit of a rest , myself , after that walk . '' she sighed , settling her head into the pillow . adso , seconding this motion , leapt up onto the table , and curled himself into her br**sts , rubbing his face affectionately against her . i would have slung him out , but marsali seemed to find some comfort in his presence , scratching his ears until he curled up under her chin , purring madly . well , i 'd delivered children in much less sanitary surroundings , cat notwithstanding , and this was likely to be a slow process ; adso would have decamped long before his presence became a hindrance . i was feeling a bit more reassured , but not to the point of confidence . that subtle feeling of wrongness was still there . on the way , i 'd considered the various options available to me ; given the slight dilatation of the cervix and the now-steady heartbeat , i thought we might try the most conservative method of inducing labor , so as not to put undue stress upon mother or child . if emergency intervened ... well , we 'd deal with that when and if we had to . i only hoped the contents of the jar were usable ; i 'd never had occasion to open it before . laminaria , said the label , written in daniel rawlings 's flowing script . it was a small jar of dark green glass , corked tight , and very light . when i opened it , a faint whiff of iodine floated out , but no scent of decay , thank goodness . laminaria is seaweed . dried , it 's no more than paper-thin slips of brownish-green . unlike many dried seaweeds , though , laminaria does n't crumble easily . and it has a most astonishing capacity to absorb water . inserted into the opening of the cervix , it absorbs moisture from the mucous membranes-and swells , slowly forcing the cervix further open as it does so , thus eventually causing labor to start .	[["rollo", 5], ["wish", 19], ["wishing", 19], ["left", 30], ["leave", 30], ["anything", 46], ["flash", 56], ["flashed", 56], ["past", 61], ["gray", 71], ["grays", 71], ["blur", 76], ["blurs", 76], ["hurtle", 88], ["hurtling", 88], ["hurtled", 88], ["hillside", 106], ["master", 123], ["like", 128], ["fall", 138], ["falls", 138], ["falling", 138], ["rock", 143], ["worry", 161], ["worried", 161], ["say", 173], ["sayest", 173], ["said", 173], ["pat", 183], ["patting", 183], ["arm", 198], ["oh", 206], ["aye", 212], ["ayes", 212], ["look", 236], ["looking", 236], ["shouldna", 269], ["find", 274], ["time", 286], ["though", 295], ["firmly", 334], ["send", 343], ["sent", 343], ["lizzie", 350], ["brianna", 366], ["malva", 376], ["christie", 385], ["think", 395], ["thinkest", 395], ["thought", 395], ["may", 403], ["mays", 403], ["mayest", 403], ["might", 403], ["well", 408], ["wells", 408], ["need", 413], ["needest", 413], ["hand", 424], ["hands", 424], ["kitchen", 456], ["kitchens", 456], ["rest", 464], ["mrs", 473], ["bug", 478], ["bugged", 478], ["readied", 496], ["surgery", 508], ["surgeries", 508], ["fresh", 516], ["freshest", 516], ["bed", 524], ["bedding", 524], ["pillow", 536], ["pillows", 536], ["spread", 545], ["examination", 563], ["table", 569], ["tabled", 569], ["tabling", 569], ["bed", 577], ["well", 593], ["wells", 593], ["need", 608], ["needest", 608], ["needed", 608], ["equipment", 629], ["hand", 637], ["surgical", 679], ["instrument", 691], ["instruments", 691], ["carefully", 703], ["hide", 710], ["hides", 710], ["hidden", 710], ["beneath", 718], ["clean", 726], ["cleans", 726], ["towel", 732], ["towels", 732], ["toweled", 732], ["towelled", 732], ["ether", 744], ["mask", 749], ["maskest", 749], ["line", 757], ["lined", 757], ["thick", 774], ["thickest", 774], ["gauze", 780], ["gauzes", 780], ["drop", 795], ["dropping", 795], ["bottle", 802], ["bottled", 802], ["trust", 816], ["administer", 836], ["perform", 868], ["performest", 868], ["emergency", 878], ["perhaps", 906], ["girl", 925], ["young", 940], ["youngest", 940], ["quite", 952], ["remarkable", 989], ["coolness", 998], ["know", 1021], ["knowest", 1021], ["knew", 1021], ["squeamish", 1043], ["fill", 1054], ["fills", 1054], ["filled", 1054], ["avert", 1085], ["averting", 1085], ["face", 1093], ["sweet", 1108], ["scent", 1122], ["scentest", 1122], ["drift", 1135], ["drifting", 1135], ["drifted", 1135], ["liquid", 1151], ["put", 1161], ["small", 1169], ["twist", 1175], ["twisted", 1175], ["twisting", 1175], ["cotton", 1185], ["spout", 1198], ["spouts", 1198], ["spoutest", 1198], ["keep", 1208], ["keepest", 1208], ["evaporate", 1235], ["evaporating", 1235], ["gas", 1247], ["gassing", 1247], ["catch", 1266], ["catches", 1266], ["catched", 1266], ["catching", 1266], ["fire", 1271], ["glance", 1283], ["glanced", 1283], ["hastily", 1291], ["hearth", 1305], ["labor", 1344], ["prolong", 1358], ["prolonged", 1358], ["thing", 1374], ["things", 1374], ["go", 1379], ["goest", 1379], ["went", 1379], ["wrong", 1385], ["night", 1414], ["candlelight", 1431], ["hideously", 1467], ["inflammable", 1479], ["shove", 1490], ["shoved", 1490], ["away", 1495], ["mental", 1506], ["picture", 1514], ["perform", 1535], ["performest", 1535], ["performing", 1535], ["cesarean", 1557], ["cesareans", 1557], ["section", 1565], ["sectioning", 1565], ["pitch", 1578], ["dark", 1583], ["feel", 1593], ["moment", 1619], ["spare", 1628], ["bloody", 1653], ["bloodying", 1653], ["good", 1658], ["look", 1678], ["mutter", 1697], ["mutterest", 1697], ["muttering", 1697], ["muttered", 1697], ["address", 1710], ["addressing", 1710], ["remark", 1722], ["remarkest", 1722], ["remarking", 1722], ["collectively", 1735], ["saint", 1745], ["saintes", 1745], ["saints", 1745], ["bride", 1751], ["raymond", 1761], ["margaret", 1776], ["antioch", 1787], ["presumably", 1804], ["patron", 1812], ["patrons", 1812], ["childbirth", 1826], ["expectant", 1840], ["mother", 1848], ["mothered", 1848], ["motherest", 1848], ["mothers", 1848], ["plus", 1855], ["guardian", 1868], ["guardians", 1868], ["angel", 1875], ["angels", 1875], ["mine", 1880], ["hover", 1932], ["hovering", 1932], ["offings", 1952], ["evidently", 1964], ["listen", 1988], ["listens", 1988], ["listening", 1988], ["get", 2001], ["got", 2001], ["boost", 2017], ["boosted", 2017], ["onto", 2025], ["ontos", 2025], ["terribly", 2052], ["relieve", 2061], ["relieved", 2061], ["cervix", 2085], ["cervixes", 2085], ["begin", 2095], ["begun", 2095], ["dilate", 2105], ["sign", 2127], ["bleed", 2139], ["bleeding", 2139], ["remove", 2159], ["risk", 2168], ["riskest", 2168], ["hemorrhage", 2182], ["hemorrhaged", 2182], ["hemorrhages", 2182], ["hemorrhaging", 2182], ["mean", 2197], ["meanest", 2197], ["means", 2197], ["mean", 2215], ["meanest", 2215], ["probability", 2231], ["much", 2240], ["low", 2246], ["lowed", 2246], ["blood", 2258], ["bloods", 2258], ["blooded", 2258], ["pressure", 2267], ["pressured", 2267], ["seem", 2274], ["seeming", 2274], ["seemed", 2274], ["right", 2284], ["rightest", 2284], ["far", 2293], ["tell", 2309], ["baby", 2342], ["heartbeat", 2355], ["heartbeats", 2355], ["steady", 2368], ["steadied", 2368], ["stop", 2398], ["stopped", 2398], ["move", 2405], ["moving", 2405], ["refuse", 2416], ["refusing", 2416], ["respond", 2427], ["respondest", 2427], ["poke", 2436], ["shove", 2447], ["shoves", 2447], ["sound", 2458], ["asleep", 2465], ["expect", 2476], ["smile", 2498], ["smiling", 2498], ["rest", 2522], ["resting", 2522], ["give", 2539], ["gave", 2539], ["tiny", 2549], ["smile", 2555], ["return", 2565], ["returnest", 2565], ["turn", 2578], ["turned", 2578], ["side", 2592], ["sidest", 2592], ["grunt", 2603], ["grunting", 2603], ["hog", 2614], ["use", 2631], ["bit", 2637], ["bits", 2637], ["walk", 2674], ["sigh", 2690], ["sighest", 2690], ["sighed", 2690], ["settle", 2701], ["settling", 2701], ["head", 2710], ["pillow", 2726], ["second", 2745], ["seconded", 2745], ["seconding", 2745], ["motion", 2757], ["leapt", 2765], ["curl", 2796], ["curls", 2796], ["curled", 2796], ["rub", 2831], ["rubbing", 2831], ["affectionately", 2855], ["sling", 2888], ["slung", 2888], ["comfort", 2938], ["presence", 2954], ["scratch", 2967], ["scratched", 2967], ["scratching", 2967], ["ear", 2976], ["ears", 2976], ["chin", 3010], ["purr", 3020], ["purrs", 3020], ["purring", 3020], ["madly", 3026], ["deliver", 3050], ["delivered", 3050], ["child", 3059], ["childs", 3059], ["children", 3059], ["less", 3072], ["sanitary", 3081], ["surrounding", 3094], ["surroundings", 3094], ["cat", 3100], ["notwithstanding", 3116], ["slow", 3151], ["process", 3159], ["decamp", 3186], ["decamps", 3186], ["decamped", 3186], ["long", 3191], ["longs", 3191], ["become", 3218], ["became", 3218], ["hindrance", 3230], ["feel", 3246], ["feeling", 3246], ["point", 3290], ["confidence", 3304], ["subtle", 3318], ["wrongness", 3339], ["still", 3349], ["way", 3368], ["ways", 3368], ["consider", 3386], ["considered", 3386], ["various", 3398], ["option", 3406], ["options", 3406], ["available", 3416], ["give", 3430], ["given", 3430], ["slight", 3441], ["dilatation", 3452], ["steady", 3485], ["try", 3520], ["tryed", 3520], ["conservative", 3542], ["method", 3549], ["induce", 3561], ["inducing", 3561], ["undue", 3592], ["stress", 3599], ["upon", 3604], ["mother", 3611], ["mothered", 3611], ["motherest", 3611], ["child", 3620], ["childs", 3620], ["intervene", 3646], ["intervened", 3646], ["deal", 3668], ["hope", 3715], ["hoped", 3715], ["content", 3728], ["contenting", 3728], ["contents", 3728], ["jar", 3739], ["jared", 3739], ["jarred", 3739], ["jarring", 3739], ["usable", 3751], ["never", 3764], ["occasion", 3777], ["open", 3785], ["laminaria", 3807], ["label", 3824], ["write", 3834], ["writing", 3834], ["written", 3834], ["daniel", 3844], ["daniels", 3844], ["flow", 3864], ["flows", 3864], ["flowing", 3864], ["script", 3871], ["scripts", 3871], ["scripting", 3871], ["green", 3906], ["greens", 3906], ["glass", 3912], ["cork", 3921], ["corked", 3921], ["tight", 3927], ["lit", 3944], ["light", 3944], ["open", 3960], ["opened", 3960], ["faint", 3973], ["whiff", 3979], ["iodine", 3989], ["iodines", 3989], ["float", 3997], ["floated", 3997], ["decay", 4025], ["thank", 4033], ["thanks", 4033], ["thankest", 4033], ["goodness", 4042], ["seaweed", 4065], ["dry", 4073], ["drier", 4073], ["drying", 4073], ["dried", 4073], ["paper", 4100], ["thin", 4105], ["thins", 4105], ["slip", 4111], ["slips", 4111], ["brownish", 4123], ["unlike", 4138], ["unliking", 4138], ["many", 4143], ["seaweed", 4158], ["seaweeds", 4158], ["crumble", 4196], ["crumbles", 4196], ["easily", 4203], ["astonishing", 4235], ["capacity", 4244], ["absorb", 4254], ["water", 4260], ["insert", 4271], ["inserted", 4271], ["opening", 4288], ["absorb", 4315], ["absorbs", 4315], ["moisture", 4324], ["mucous", 4340], ["membrane", 4350], ["membranes", 4350], ["swell", 4361], ["swells", 4361], ["swollen", 4361], ["swellest", 4361], ["slowly", 4370], ["force", 4378], ["forcing", 4378], ["thus", 4423], ["eventually", 4434], ["cause", 4442], ["causing", 4442], ["start", 4457]]
`` i , er ... '' `` rawlings , rawlings , rawlings . '' lady rosalind shook her head . `` you 'd think a man with your reputation would at least have a way with words . '' in the one night since he 'd known her , lady rosalind had not only stepped on his feet , but cursed-yes , cursed at her own betrothed for being such a swine he asked her to dance to protect the girl from scandal , but now he was having second thoughts . it made sense that this daring redhead would be one of abigail 's best friends . something he was not aware of until the blasted girl started listing every single one of abby 's positive attributes . suffice to say that was when phillip felt the very strong urge to weep . so , he did not feel at all guilty for glaring at the insufferable woman , and was increasingly glad he would not be the one to marry her . it seemed dear abigail had found a twin in mischief . `` one should not curse in front of a lady . '' `` i 'll be sure to hold my tongue when i 'm in the presence of one . '' `` oh , la ! '' rosalind feigned irritation , but he knew the woman was stronger than flint . `` out of curiosity , who may i ask has put that delightful mask of jealousy on your face ? '' when would this dance end ? `` i 'm wearing nothing of the sort . '' and i am overwhelmed with joy at being matched up with him . '' she nodded her head in the direction of whitmore , who was presently groping at his latest mistress . both rawlings and rosalind shuddered and shared a laugh . `` he is n't as bad as he seems . '' rosalind scoffed , `` are you his defender then ? and you 're wrong , he 's much worse than he seems . but , do not worry a fig for me . i will do just fine . '' phillip stared into her steely blue eyes and believed her every word . `` the weather , '' phillip lied . `` and i thought you were more intelligent than to lie . if you wo n't tell me i 'll just have to ask abigail . '' the sound of her name gave him away , for his hand tensed , only slightly , on lady rosalind 's body . she bit her lip in triumph . `` that was not playing fair , my lady . '' the dance ended , but before the pairs parted , lady rosalind leaned in and whispered , `` women rarely play fair , my lord . '' the next hour was spent with a series of wide-eyed debutantes who not only seemed curious as to why the devil was at almack 's , but how he had gained an invitation . phillip himself had been curious about the same thing , until lady jersey and the dowager duchess of tempest both smiled and winked in his direction . it seemed the patronesses loved gossip as much as anyone else , and phillip was ripe for the picking . everyone appeared to be curious about him , as if he was some new species just discovered . he half-expected someone to start drawing his portrait with as many glances he received . it was due in large part to his appearance . being clean shaven and dressed in finery , as well as not breathing fire on grandmothers and the blind , must have done his reputation some good . but , in all of almack 's , there still was no woman who gained his attention . well , it was not completely true , but the one woman who managed to gain his favor also had the attention of every other male-even some of the married ones . and although he would n't mind dancing with the girl , it was his job to protect her , so he watched as closely as he could . phillip 's control was splendidly in check right up until whitmore approached abby and held out his hand for a dance . she seemed to stiffen and then looked next to her at lady rosalind , who appeared ready to attack . but whitmore tugged at abigail . nearly tripping , she followed him to the floor . phillip watched helplessly as whitmore 's hands moved seductively down her spine toward her backside . quickly , phillip scanned the room for sebastian . he found him deep in discussion with renwick on the far side of the room . with the crush , it would be impossible to reach him . knowing he had to take things into his own hands , he continued to move through the crowds until abby would be able to make eye contact with him . `` look at me , just look at me , '' he whispered out loud . her alarmed gaze locked with his . she shook her head once , conveying a message . and then the minx laughed as whitmore stormed off . she made her way toward a disturbed phillip .	[["er", 9], ["lady", 60], ["rosalind", 69], ["shake", 75], ["shook", 75], ["head", 84], ["think", 102], ["thinkest", 102], ["man", 108], ["mans", 108], ["manned", 108], ["reputation", 129], ["least", 144], ["leastest", 144], ["way", 155], ["ways", 155], ["word", 166], ["words", 166], ["night", 188], ["since", 194], ["know", 206], ["knowest", 206], ["known", 206], ["step", 247], ["stepped", 247], ["foot", 259], ["feet", 259], ["curse", 272], ["cursed", 272], ["yes", 276], ["betroth", 306], ["betrothed", 306], ["swine", 329], ["ask", 338], ["asked", 338], ["dance", 351], ["protect", 362], ["protectest", 362], ["girl", 371], ["scandal", 384], ["second", 415], ["seconded", 415], ["thought", 424], ["thoughts", 424], ["sense", 440], ["daring", 457], ["redhead", 465], ["abigail", 489], ["good", 497], ["best", 497], ["friend", 505], ["friends", 505], ["aware", 534], ["blast", 555], ["blasted", 555], ["start", 568], ["started", 568], ["list", 576], ["listing", 576], ["every", 582], ["single", 589], ["positive", 613], ["attribute", 624], ["attributes", 624], ["suffice", 634], ["sufficed", 634], ["say", 641], ["sayest", 641], ["phillip", 663], ["phillips", 663], ["feel", 668], ["felt", 668], ["strong", 684], ["urge", 689], ["weep", 697], ["weeps", 697], ["feel", 720], ["guilty", 734], ["glare", 746], ["glaring", 746], ["insufferable", 766], ["woman", 772], ["womans", 772], ["increasingly", 795], ["glad", 800], ["marry", 833], ["married", 833], ["seem", 849], ["seeming", 849], ["seemed", 849], ["dear", 854], ["dearest", 854], ["find", 872], ["found", 872], ["twin", 879], ["mischief", 891], ["mischiefs", 891], ["curse", 917], ["cursed", 917], ["front", 926], ["sure", 958], ["hold", 966], ["tongue", 976], ["tonguing", 976], ["presence", 1002], ["oh", 1020], ["la", 1025], ["feign", 1047], ["feigned", 1047], ["irritation", 1058], ["know", 1072], ["knowest", 1072], ["knew", 1072], ["strong", 1095], ["flint", 1106], ["curiosity", 1128], ["may", 1138], ["mays", 1138], ["mayest", 1138], ["ask", 1144], ["put", 1152], ["delightful", 1168], ["mask", 1173], ["maskest", 1173], ["jealousy", 1185], ["jealousies", 1185], ["face", 1198], ["end", 1229], ["ends", 1229], ["endest", 1229], ["wear", 1247], ["wearing", 1247], ["nothing", 1255], ["sort", 1267], ["joy", 1302], ["joys", 1302], ["joyed", 1302], ["match", 1319], ["matching", 1319], ["matched", 1319], ["nod", 1347], ["nodded", 1347], ["direction", 1373], ["presently", 1405], ["grope", 1413], ["groping", 1413], ["late", 1427], ["lates", 1427], ["latest", 1427], ["mistress", 1436], ["shudder", 1475], ["shuddering", 1475], ["shudderest", 1475], ["shuddered", 1475], ["share", 1486], ["shared", 1486], ["laugh", 1494], ["bad", 1516], ["seem", 1528], ["seeming", 1528], ["seems", 1528], ["scoff", 1550], ["scoffs", 1550], ["scoffed", 1550], ["defender", 1576], ["wrong", 1601], ["much", 1614], ["bad", 1620], ["worse", 1620], ["worry", 1655], ["worried", 1655], ["fig", 1661], ["fine", 1690], ["stare", 1710], ["stared", 1710], ["steely", 1726], ["blue", 1731], ["eye", 1736], ["eyed", 1736], ["eyes", 1736], ["believe", 1749], ["believed", 1749], ["word", 1764], ["weather", 1781], ["lay", 1799], ["lie", 1799], ["lain", 1799], ["lied", 1799], ["think", 1818], ["thinkest", 1818], ["thought", 1818], ["intelligent", 1844], ["lay", 1856], ["lie", 1856], ["lain", 1856], ["wo", 1868], ["tell", 1877], ["sound", 1926], ["name", 1938], ["give", 1943], ["gave", 1943], ["away", 1952], ["hand", 1967], ["tense", 1974], ["tensed", 1974], ["slightly", 1990], ["body", 2017], ["bodied", 2017], ["bite", 2027], ["lip", 2035], ["lipped", 2035], ["triumph", 2046], ["triumphs", 2046], ["triumphest", 2046], ["triumphing", 2046], ["play", 2072], ["playest", 2072], ["playing", 2072], ["fair", 2077], ["fairs", 2077], ["fairest", 2077], ["end", 2108], ["ends", 2108], ["endest", 2108], ["ended", 2108], ["pair", 2131], ["pairs", 2131], ["part", 2138], ["parting", 2138], ["parted", 2138], ["lean", 2161], ["leans", 2161], ["leaned", 2161], ["whisper", 2178], ["whispered", 2178], ["woman", 2189], ["womans", 2189], ["women", 2189], ["rarely", 2196], ["play", 2201], ["playest", 2201], ["lord", 2216], ["next", 2230], ["hour", 2235], ["spend", 2245], ["spends", 2245], ["spendest", 2245], ["spent", 2245], ["series", 2259], ["wide", 2267], ["debutante", 2283], ["debutantes", 2283], ["curious", 2311], ["devil", 2331], ["devils", 2331], ["gain", 2372], ["gained", 2372], ["invitation", 2386], ["thing", 2442], ["jersey", 2462], ["dowager", 2478], ["duchess", 2486], ["tempest", 2497], ["smile", 2509], ["smiled", 2509], ["wink", 2520], ["winks", 2520], ["winkest", 2520], ["winked", 2520], ["patroness", 2565], ["patronesses", 2565], ["love", 2571], ["loved", 2571], ["gossip", 2578], ["gossiped", 2578], ["anyone", 2596], ["else", 2601], ["ripe", 2624], ["picking", 2640], ["everyone", 2651], ["appear", 2660], ["appeared", 2660], ["new", 2708], ["specie", 2716], ["species", 2716], ["discover", 2732], ["discovered", 2732], ["half", 2742], ["expect", 2751], ["expected", 2751], ["start", 2768], ["draw", 2776], ["draws", 2776], ["drawn", 2776], ["drawing", 2776], ["portrait", 2789], ["many", 2802], ["glance", 2810], ["glances", 2810], ["receive", 2822], ["received", 2822], ["due", 2835], ["large", 2844], ["part", 2849], ["parting", 2849], ["appearance", 2867], ["clean", 2881], ["cleans", 2881], ["dress", 2900], ["dressest", 2900], ["dressed", 2900], ["finery", 2910], ["well", 2920], ["wells", 2920], ["breathe", 2937], ["breathes", 2937], ["fire", 2942], ["grandmother", 2958], ["grandmothers", 2958], ["blind", 2972], ["blinded", 2972], ["must", 2979], ["musts", 2979], ["good", 3014], ["still", 3056], ["attention", 3094], ["completely", 3125], ["true", 3130], ["manage", 3162], ["managed", 3162], ["gain", 3170], ["favor", 3180], ["favorest", 3180], ["also", 3185], ["male", 3223], ["males", 3223], ["even", 3228], ["evens", 3228], ["married", 3248], ["although", 3268], ["mind", 3286], ["minding", 3286], ["dance", 3294], ["job", 3325], ["jobbing", 3325], ["watch", 3356], ["watched", 3356], ["closely", 3367], ["control", 3400], ["splendidly", 3415], ["check", 3424], ["right", 3430], ["rightest", 3430], ["approach", 3459], ["approaches", 3459], ["approached", 3459], ["hold", 3473], ["held", 3473], ["stiffen", 3522], ["stiffens", 3522], ["look", 3538], ["looked", 3538], ["ready", 3588], ["attack", 3598], ["tug", 3620], ["tugging", 3620], ["tugged", 3620], ["nearly", 3640], ["trip", 3649], ["tripping", 3649], ["follow", 3664], ["followed", 3664], ["floor", 3681], ["helplessly", 3710], ["hand", 3731], ["hands", 3731], ["move", 3737], ["moved", 3737], ["seductively", 3749], ["spine", 3764], ["toward", 3771], ["backside", 3784], ["quickly", 3794], ["scan", 3812], ["scans", 3812], ["scanning", 3812], ["scanned", 3812], ["room", 3821], ["roomed", 3821], ["sebastian", 3835], ["deep", 3855], ["deeply", 3855], ["discussion", 3869], ["far", 3893], ["side", 3898], ["sidest", 3898], ["crush", 3927], ["crushest", 3927], ["impossible", 3952], ["reach", 3961], ["know", 3975], ["knowest", 3975], ["knowing", 3975], ["take", 3990], ["thing", 3997], ["things", 3997], ["continue", 4031], ["continued", 4031], ["move", 4039], ["crowd", 4058], ["crowdest", 4058], ["crowding", 4058], ["crowds", 4058], ["able", 4083], ["abled", 4083], ["eye", 4095], ["eyed", 4095], ["contact", 4103], ["look", 4122], ["loud", 4173], ["gaze", 4192], ["gazes", 4192], ["lock", 4199], ["locked", 4199], ["convey", 4246], ["conveyest", 4246], ["conveying", 4246], ["message", 4256], ["minx", 4276], ["laugh", 4284], ["laughed", 4284], ["storm", 4304], ["stormed", 4304]]
she knew it was small but she 'd been paying for it all on her own and she did n't want to give it up . `` i do n't want to sell my place , '' she said , while crossing her arms and glaring at him . `` you do n't have to sell it . you can rent it out if you want or just let it sit empty . i can hire a cleaning crew to come in once a week to make sure it does n't get moldy or damaged , '' he offered . she knew the place was too small and she knew they would be more comfortable with extra space but her world was being uprooted and she felt like she had no control over anything . `` i 'm not your enemy jasmine ; i 'm trying to do the right thing for my son . how does me wanting to watch him grow make me the enemy ? '' he asked her with exasperation . when he worded it like that she felt like the bad guy . it was n't fair he was twisting things around . she was going to have to get over her feelings of betrayal over him walking away from her , or the next nine years of her life were going to seem like forever . `` you 're right , i 'm being difficult but you have to realize jacob and i have been fine for the past nine years and it 's hard to change , '' she conceded . `` can we call a truce for now , for the sake of our son ? '' `` that sounds good to me , '' she answered , wanting some peace . derek made a few calls while jacob was playing and within the hour he had appointments at six different locations . she was amazed at the speed the man was able to get things done . jacob came running up to them and dove into the food . all his playing made him very hungry . `` hey buddy , want to go look at some houses ? '' jacob asked , with no interest . `` we 're going to find a bigger place to live so you have more room to play , '' derek told him . jacob was very interested after that . he could n't wait to leave the park and look at houses . the first few they went to left jasmine in awe . she 'd grown up in the biggest house of her town and she thought it was fancy but it did n't compare to the places they were looking at now . each house had electronic gates , requiring a key pad to even enter the driveway . the homes were enormous and she was afraid she 'd lose jacob if they moved into one of them . she was making sure he did n't leave her sight as they toured each one . she did n't know what derek was looking for but the places were n't holding his interest . she was actually grateful for that . she was hoping the other places were scaled down a bit . each time they left one of the places the real estate agent seemed disappointed but jasmine was impressed with how well she covered that . jasmine was sure the woman was going to make a killing off of the commission if derek purchased one of the homes , as their price tag was in the millions . the forth house they went to had a similar gated drive and was just as big as the others but seemed a bit different to her . it did n't seem as cold , like the people who lived there , were perhaps more real . it was a colonial style that had a huge three story entranceway that was done in white rock . the door was big enough to drive a truck through , she thought , as they entered . `` this home is only three years old and was built to entertain . the man and his wife had it custom built but he has to go back overseas for a few years and they decided to go ahead and sell because he 's not sure where they will be when they come back . i know his wife is saddened to leave this spectacular home , '' the agent began . `` there 's so much to offer , as you can see from just walking in the front doors . some key features of the home is the property contains twenty useable acres , a full sized tennis court , a full size outdoor and indoor basketball court , along with both outdoor and indoor pools . apparently the sellers had teenage kids who also built a paintball course on the south end of the property but if you 'd like that to be taken out it would be an easy task , '' she said as she eyed jacob , thinking he might like that feature . `` there 's a nice open room back this way , which can easily be used for conferences , dances , or whatever form of entertainment you would like . it features this beautiful chandelier from italy they had made specifically for the home , '' she continued talking as they walked from room to room . jasmine was thinking the chandelier was probably worth more than her house . `` there are separate living quarters above the garage that many people like to use for either guests or for relatives to live in . it has its own separate entrance for privacy , '' she said as she looked at derek .	[["know", 8], ["knowest", 8], ["knew", 8], ["small", 21], ["pay", 44], ["pays", 44], ["payest", 44], ["paying", 44], ["give", 95], ["sell", 128], ["sells", 128], ["place", 137], ["say", 151], ["sayest", 151], ["said", 151], ["cross", 168], ["crossing", 168], ["arm", 177], ["arms", 177], ["glare", 189], ["glaring", 189], ["rent", 243], ["let", 274], ["lets", 274], ["sat", 281], ["sit", 281], ["empty", 287], ["hire", 300], ["cleaning", 311], ["crew", 316], ["come", 324], ["week", 339], ["sure", 352], ["get", 368], ["moldy", 374], ["damage", 385], ["damaging", 385], ["damaged", 385], ["offer", 401], ["offered", 401], ["comfortable", 480], ["extra", 491], ["extras", 491], ["space", 497], ["spaced", 497], ["spacing", 497], ["world", 511], ["uproot", 530], ["uproots", 530], ["uprooted", 530], ["feel", 543], ["felt", 543], ["like", 548], ["control", 567], ["anything", 581], ["enemy", 606], ["jasmine", 614], ["jasmines", 614], ["try", 628], ["tryed", 628], ["trying", 628], ["right", 644], ["rightest", 644], ["thing", 650], ["son", 661], ["watch", 692], ["grow", 701], ["growest", 701], ["ask", 733], ["asked", 733], ["exasperation", 755], ["word", 772], ["worded", 772], ["bad", 807], ["guy", 811], ["fair", 829], ["fairs", 829], ["fairest", 829], ["twist", 845], ["twisted", 845], ["twisting", 845], ["thing", 852], ["things", 852], ["around", 859], ["go", 875], ["goest", 875], ["going", 875], ["feeling", 908], ["feelings", 908], ["betrayal", 920], ["betrayals", 920], ["walk", 937], ["walking", 937], ["away", 942], ["next", 965], ["nine", 970], ["year", 976], ["years", 976], ["life", 988], ["lifes", 988], ["seem", 1007], ["seeming", 1007], ["forever", 1020], ["difficult", 1062], ["realize", 1086], ["jacob", 1092], ["jacobs", 1092], ["fine", 1113], ["past", 1126], ["hard", 1152], ["change", 1162], ["concede", 1180], ["conceded", 1180], ["call", 1197], ["truce", 1205], ["sake", 1228], ["sakes", 1228], ["sound", 1259], ["sounds", 1259], ["good", 1264], ["answer", 1288], ["answeres", 1288], ["answerest", 1288], ["answered", 1288], ["peace", 1309], ["derek", 1317], ["call", 1334], ["calls", 1334], ["play", 1358], ["playest", 1358], ["playing", 1358], ["within", 1369], ["hour", 1378], ["appointment", 1398], ["appointments", 1398], ["six", 1405], ["different", 1415], ["location", 1425], ["locations", 1425], ["amazed", 1442], ["speed", 1455], ["speeding", 1455], ["man", 1463], ["mans", 1463], ["manned", 1463], ["able", 1472], ["abled", 1472], ["come", 1504], ["came", 1504], ["run", 1512], ["running", 1512], ["dove", 1532], ["food", 1546], ["foods", 1546], ["hungry", 1585], ["hey", 1594], ["buddy", 1600], ["go", 1613], ["goest", 1613], ["look", 1618], ["house", 1633], ["houses", 1633], ["interest", 1669], ["find", 1695], ["big", 1704], ["bigs", 1704], ["bigger", 1704], ["live", 1718], ["room", 1740], ["roomed", 1740], ["play", 1748], ["playest", 1748], ["tell", 1764], ["told", 1764], ["interested", 1796], ["wait", 1827], ["waitest", 1827], ["left", 1836], ["leave", 1836], ["park", 1845], ["parks", 1845], ["first", 1876], ["firstest", 1876], ["go", 1890], ["goest", 1890], ["went", 1890], ["left", 1898], ["leave", 1898], ["awe", 1913], ["awed", 1913], ["grow", 1928], ["growest", 1928], ["grown", 1928], ["big", 1946], ["bigs", 1946], ["biggest", 1946], ["house", 1952], ["town", 1964], ["think", 1980], ["thinkest", 1980], ["thought", 1980], ["fancy", 1993], ["fanciest", 1993], ["compare", 2016], ["place", 2030], ["places", 2030], ["look", 2048], ["looking", 2048], ["electronic", 2083], ["gate", 2089], ["gates", 2089], ["require", 2101], ["requiring", 2101], ["key", 2107], ["keyed", 2107], ["keyest", 2107], ["pad", 2111], ["padding", 2111], ["even", 2119], ["evens", 2119], ["enter", 2125], ["driveway", 2138], ["home", 2150], ["homing", 2150], ["homes", 2150], ["enormous", 2164], ["afraid", 2183], ["lose", 2195], ["move", 2215], ["moved", 2215], ["sight", 2281], ["sighted", 2281], ["tour", 2296], ["toured", 2296], ["know", 2324], ["knowest", 2324], ["hold", 2383], ["holding", 2383], ["grateful", 2424], ["hope", 2450], ["hoping", 2450], ["scale", 2479], ["scaled", 2479], ["bit", 2490], ["bits", 2490], ["time", 2502], ["reis", 2539], ["real", 2539], ["estate", 2546], ["agent", 2552], ["seem", 2559], ["seeming", 2559], ["seemed", 2559], ["well", 2612], ["wells", 2612], ["cover", 2624], ["covered", 2624], ["woman", 2658], ["womans", 2658], ["killing", 2686], ["commission", 2708], ["purchase", 2727], ["purchased", 2727], ["price", 2761], ["tag", 2765], ["tags", 2765], ["million", 2785], ["millions", 2785], ["forth", 2797], ["similar", 2830], ["gate", 2836], ["gates", 2836], ["gated", 2836], ["drive", 2842], ["big", 2862], ["bigs", 2862], ["cold", 2936], ["people", 2954], ["live", 2964], ["lived", 2964], ["perhaps", 2985], ["colonial", 3015], ["style", 3021], ["huge", 3037], ["three", 3043], ["story", 3049], ["entranceway", 3061], ["white", 3084], ["rock", 3089], ["door", 3100], ["enough", 3115], ["truck", 3132], ["enter", 3172], ["entered", 3172], ["home", 3187], ["homing", 3187], ["old", 3211], ["build", 3225], ["builds", 3225], ["built", 3225], ["entertain", 3238], ["entertains", 3238], ["wife", 3261], ["custom", 3275], ["customs", 3275], ["back", 3303], ["overseas", 3312], ["decide", 3345], ["decided", 3345], ["ahead", 3357], ["sadden", 3458], ["saddens", 3458], ["saddening", 3458], ["saddened", 3458], ["spectacular", 3484], ["spectaculars", 3484], ["begin", 3510], ["began", 3510], ["much", 3532], ["offer", 3541], ["see", 3558], ["front", 3589], ["door", 3595], ["doors", 3595], ["feature", 3615], ["features", 3615], ["property", 3643], ["contain", 3652], ["containest", 3652], ["contains", 3652], ["twenty", 3659], ["useable", 3667], ["acre", 3673], ["acres", 3673], ["full", 3682], ["sized", 3688], ["tennis", 3695], ["court", 3701], ["courtest", 3701], ["courting", 3701], ["size", 3715], ["outdoor", 3723], ["indoor", 3734], ["basketball", 3745], ["along", 3759], ["pool", 3794], ["pools", 3794], ["apparently", 3807], ["sellers", 3819], ["teenage", 3831], ["kid", 3836], ["kids", 3836], ["also", 3845], ["paintball", 3863], ["course", 3870], ["south", 3883], ["end", 3887], ["ends", 3887], ["endest", 3887], ["take", 3939], ["taken", 3939], ["easy", 3963], ["task", 3968], ["tasking", 3968], ["taskest", 3968], ["eye", 3994], ["eyed", 3994], ["think", 4011], ["thinkest", 4011], ["thinking", 4011], ["may", 4020], ["mays", 4020], ["mayest", 4020], ["might", 4020], ["feature", 4038], ["nice", 4059], ["open", 4064], ["way", 4083], ["ways", 4083], ["easily", 4102], ["use", 4110], ["used", 4110], ["conference", 4126], ["conferencing", 4126], ["conferences", 4126], ["dance", 4135], ["dances", 4135], ["whatever", 4149], ["form", 4154], ["formest", 4154], ["entertainment", 4171], ["beautiful", 4215], ["beautifulest", 4215], ["chandelier", 4226], ["italy", 4237], ["specifically", 4264], ["continue", 4296], ["continued", 4296], ["talk", 4304], ["talking", 4304], ["walk", 4319], ["walked", 4319], ["probably", 4388], ["worth", 4394], ["separate", 4438], ["live", 4445], ["living", 4445], ["quarter", 4454], ["quartering", 4454], ["quarters", 4454], ["garage", 4471], ["many", 4481], ["use", 4500], ["either", 4511], ["guest", 4518], ["guestest", 4518], ["guests", 4518], ["relative", 4535], ["relatives", 4535], ["entrance", 4581], ["entrancing", 4581], ["privacy", 4593], ["look", 4621], ["looked", 4621]]
jennings , e.l. montes , sydney logan , tiffany carmouche , debra anastasia , karina halle , j.l . brooks , karen avivi , kimberly knight , liv morris , l.v . lewis , sophie davis , j.m . o'bryant , and lauren blakely ... im so grateful for your kind words , high standards , unending advice and support ! im humbled to know you and proud to count you among my friends . tons of gratitude goes out to my agent , elizabeth winick rubinstein , and my foreign rights agent , shira hoffman , of mcintosh & otis literary . thanks for helping me navigate the quagmire . xoxo chasity jenkins-patrick and donna soluri of rockstar prthank you for your wisdom and unending enthusiasm . ~hugs thank you to colby lefebvre for becoming the gorgeous face of alex avery ! thank you to kristen karwan , for your hard work on this amazing cover ! xo as always , my editing team , liz , sally and kathryn i truly appreciate every green , purple , blue and yellow mark-up . xoxo life is short live it to the fullest . love , kahlen angel after dark prologue mark swanson was a repulsive worm of the lowest form . angeline hemming felt it in her gut . it was one of those instinctive things that grabs hold and festers down deep , eating away at your insides , bringing the sour bile up into your throat and keeping you awake at night . unfortunately , looking at the bastard , there wasnt much about him that screamed pedophile or criminal but , wasnt that true of the sickest fuckers in history ? jeffrey dahmer , denis rader , ted bundy ; they all looked like they wouldnt hurt a fly , and this bastard was no different . maybe he was a tad smarmy , but nothing more . her job as a criminal profiler had thrown dr. angeline hemming in the paths of more than her share of shady characters , but mark swanson made her skin crawl . after interviewing his stepdaughter and hearing the girls terrifying stories of how shed been repeatedly assaulted and raped for the past 3 yearsnothing , not even inconclusive testswere going to convince angel he wasnt guilty as hell . too bad the test results would be the only thing she could base her opinion on . creepers like swanson had a way of slithering out of the grasp of justice and nothing infuriated her more . freaking deviant ! angel shivered as she entered the home depot store near lincoln park . despite the warm spring weather , her thoughts left her shaking and she wasnt sure if it was out of anger or fear . her head never shut off and it was driving her crazy and giving her a headache . sunday afternoon stretched out in front of her and she needed something to take her mind off of her troubled thoughts for a few hours . it seemed as good a time as any to redecorate the spare bedroom of her apartment , or at least begin making preparations . her best friend , becca , and her baby daughter , jillian , stayed over quite often and angel thought she might brighten the room up by painting and ordering new curtains and bedding . maybe shed even use some of that chalkboard paint on one wall . jillian would certainly love that . with a sigh , she realized becca might protest angel teaching the little girl how to draw on the walls , but she looked forward to picking out the colors , at least . the new project might be a nice way to spend the evening , and it would give her plenty of time to revisit the plaguing case she was working on . her life was full , but sometimes the loneliness got the better of her . she considered getting a pet , though she wasnt lonely in the true sense of the word . she was too busy for that , but it might be nice to have something to take care of and to love . she chose a soft teal and a cool cream , planning on painting two of the walls teal and the others plus the ceiling the contrasting cream . the en suite bathroom would be mostly cream with brown and teal accents in the accessories and towels . after deciding to purchase jillian an easel instead of opting for the on-wall chalkboard , she took her choices to the counter . the man mixing her paint gave her a thorough once over . he was tall and skinny with thinning greyish hair and a thick iron-colored mustache that grew grotesquely over the top of his upper lip . angels stomach turned . dirty old man , she thought in disgust . admittedly , her job made her jaded . more and more , she concluded men were just a necessary appliance , that to her chagrin , were needed every once in a while . it had been three years since shed been in a relationship that went beyond sex . not since kyle .	[["sydney", 31], ["logan", 37], ["logans", 37], ["tiffany", 47], ["anastasia", 75], ["karina", 84], ["halle", 90], ["karen", 113], ["kimberly", 130], ["knight", 137], ["knights", 137], ["knighted", 137], ["knightest", 137], ["liv", 143], ["morris", 150], ["lewis", 164], ["lauren", 209], ["grateful", 236], ["kind", 250], ["word", 256], ["words", 256], ["high", 263], ["standard", 273], ["standards", 273], ["advice", 291], ["support", 303], ["humble", 316], ["humblest", 316], ["humbled", 316], ["know", 324], ["knowest", 324], ["proud", 338], ["count", 347], ["countest", 347], ["among", 357], ["friend", 368], ["friends", 368], ["ton", 375], ["tons", 375], ["gratitude", 388], ["go", 393], ["goest", 393], ["goes", 393], ["agent", 409], ["elizabeth", 421], ["rubinstein", 439], ["foreign", 456], ["right", 463], ["rightest", 463], ["rights", 463], ["shira", 477], ["hoffman", 485], ["mcintosh", 499], ["otis", 506], ["literary", 515], ["thank", 524], ["thanks", 524], ["thankest", 524], ["help", 536], ["helpest", 536], ["helping", 536], ["navigate", 548], ["navigates", 548], ["navigated", 548], ["quagmire", 561], ["quagmired", 561], ["xoxo", 568], ["patrick", 592], ["donna", 602], ["rockstar", 621], ["wisdom", 649], ["enthusiasm", 673], ["thank", 687], ["thanks", 687], ["thankest", 687], ["colby", 700], ["become", 722], ["becoming", 722], ["gorgeous", 735], ["face", 740], ["alex", 748], ["avery", 754], ["hard", 800], ["work", 805], ["wrought", 805], ["amazing", 821], ["cover", 827], ["xo", 832], ["always", 842], ["team", 860], ["teamed", 860], ["teaming", 860], ["liz", 866], ["sally", 874], ["sallied", 874], ["kathryn", 886], ["truly", 894], ["appreciate", 905], ["appreciates", 905], ["every", 911], ["green", 917], ["greens", 917], ["purple", 926], ["blue", 933], ["yellow", 944], ["mark", 949], ["marks", 949], ["life", 964], ["lifes", 964], ["short", 973], ["full", 996], ["fullest", 996], ["love", 1003], ["angel", 1018], ["dark", 1029], ["prologue", 1038], ["prologues", 1038], ["swanson", 1051], ["repulsive", 1067], ["worm", 1072], ["worming", 1072], ["low", 1086], ["lowed", 1086], ["lowest", 1086], ["form", 1091], ["formest", 1091], ["hem", 1110], ["hemming", 1110], ["feel", 1115], ["felt", 1115], ["gut", 1129], ["instinctive", 1163], ["thing", 1170], ["things", 1170], ["grab", 1181], ["hold", 1186], ["fester", 1198], ["festers", 1198], ["deep", 1208], ["deeply", 1208], ["eat", 1217], ["eating", 1217], ["away", 1222], ["inside", 1238], ["insides", 1238], ["bring", 1249], ["bringing", 1249], ["sour", 1258], ["soured", 1258], ["souring", 1258], ["bile", 1263], ["throat", 1283], ["keep", 1295], ["keepest", 1295], ["keeping", 1295], ["awoke", 1305], ["awake", 1305], ["night", 1314], ["unfortunately", 1330], ["look", 1340], ["looking", 1340], ["bastard", 1355], ["much", 1374], ["scream", 1398], ["screams", 1398], ["screamed", 1398], ["pedophile", 1408], ["criminal", 1420], ["true", 1442], ["sick", 1457], ["fucker", 1465], ["fuckers", 1465], ["history", 1476], ["jeffrey", 1486], ["ted", 1513], ["bundy", 1519], ["look", 1537], ["looked", 1537], ["like", 1542], ["hurt", 1560], ["hurts", 1560], ["hurting", 1560], ["fly", 1566], ["flys", 1566], ["different", 1602], ["maybe", 1610], ["tad", 1623], ["tads", 1623], ["smarmy", 1630], ["nothing", 1644], ["job", 1659], ["jobbing", 1659], ["profiler", 1682], ["throw", 1693], ["thrown", 1693], ["dr", 1696], ["drs", 1696], ["path", 1727], ["paths", 1727], ["share", 1750], ["shady", 1759], ["character", 1770], ["characters", 1770], ["skin", 1803], ["crawl", 1809], ["crawled", 1809], ["interview", 1830], ["interviewing", 1830], ["stepdaughter", 1847], ["hear", 1859], ["hears", 1859], ["hearing", 1859], ["girl", 1869], ["girls", 1869], ["terrify", 1880], ["terrifying", 1880], ["story", 1888], ["stories", 1888], ["shed", 1900], ["repeatedly", 1916], ["assault", 1926], ["assaulted", 1926], ["rape", 1936], ["raped", 1936], ["past", 1949], ["even", 1975], ["evens", 1975], ["inconclusive", 1988], ["go", 2004], ["goest", 2004], ["going", 2004], ["convince", 2016], ["convinced", 2016], ["convincing", 2016], ["guilty", 2038], ["hell", 2046], ["hells", 2046], ["bad", 2056], ["test", 2065], ["result", 2073], ["resultest", 2073], ["results", 2073], ["thing", 2097], ["base", 2112], ["basest", 2112], ["opinion", 2124], ["creeper", 2138], ["creepers", 2138], ["way", 2161], ["ways", 2161], ["slither", 2175], ["slithered", 2175], ["slithering", 2175], ["grasp", 2192], ["grasped", 2192], ["grasping", 2192], ["justice", 2203], ["infuriate", 2226], ["infuriated", 2226], ["freak", 2246], ["freaking", 2246], ["deviant", 2254], ["shiver", 2271], ["shivering", 2271], ["shivered", 2271], ["enter", 2286], ["entered", 2286], ["home", 2295], ["homing", 2295], ["depot", 2301], ["store", 2307], ["near", 2312], ["lincoln", 2320], ["park", 2325], ["parks", 2325], ["despite", 2335], ["warm", 2344], ["sprang", 2351], ["sprung", 2351], ["spring", 2351], ["weather", 2359], ["thought", 2374], ["thoughts", 2374], ["left", 2379], ["leave", 2379], ["shake", 2391], ["shaking", 2391], ["sure", 2410], ["anger", 2433], ["fear", 2441], ["fearest", 2441], ["head", 2452], ["never", 2458], ["shut", 2463], ["drive", 2486], ["driving", 2486], ["crazy", 2496], ["give", 2507], ["giving", 2507], ["headache", 2522], ["sunday", 2531], ["sundays", 2531], ["afternoon", 2541], ["stretch", 2551], ["stretched", 2551], ["front", 2564], ["need", 2586], ["needest", 2586], ["needed", 2586], ["take", 2604], ["mind", 2613], ["minding", 2613], ["hour", 2658], ["hours", 2658], ["seem", 2670], ["seeming", 2670], ["seemed", 2670], ["good", 2678], ["time", 2685], ["redecorate", 2706], ["spare", 2716], ["bedroom", 2724], ["apartment", 2741], ["least", 2755], ["leastest", 2755], ["begin", 2761], ["preparation", 2781], ["preparations", 2781], ["good", 2792], ["best", 2792], ["friend", 2799], ["baby", 2822], ["daughter", 2831], ["jillian", 2841], ["stay", 2850], ["stayed", 2850], ["quite", 2861], ["often", 2867], ["think", 2885], ["thinkest", 2885], ["thought", 2885], ["may", 2895], ["mays", 2895], ["mayest", 2895], ["might", 2895], ["brighten", 2904], ["brightens", 2904], ["room", 2913], ["roomed", 2913], ["paint", 2928], ["order", 2941], ["orderest", 2941], ["ordering", 2941], ["new", 2945], ["curtain", 2954], ["curtaining", 2954], ["curtains", 2954], ["bed", 2966], ["bedding", 2966], ["use", 2988], ["chalkboard", 3012], ["chalkboards", 3012], ["paint", 3018], ["wall", 3030], ["certainly", 3056], ["sigh", 3080], ["sighest", 3080], ["realize", 3095], ["realized", 3095], ["protest", 3115], ["protestest", 3115], ["teach", 3130], ["little", 3141], ["girl", 3146], ["draw", 3158], ["draws", 3158], ["drawn", 3158], ["wall", 3171], ["walls", 3171], ["forward", 3196], ["forwardest", 3196], ["forwarding", 3196], ["pick", 3207], ["picking", 3207], ["color", 3222], ["colors", 3222], ["project", 3251], ["projectest", 3251], ["nice", 3267], ["spend", 3280], ["spends", 3280], ["spendest", 3280], ["evening", 3292], ["give", 3312], ["plenty", 3323], ["revisit", 3342], ["case", 3360], ["work", 3376], ["wrought", 3376], ["working", 3376], ["full", 3399], ["loneliness", 3430], ["get", 3434], ["got", 3434], ["well", 3445], ["wells", 3445], ["consider", 3469], ["considered", 3469], ["get", 3477], ["getting", 3477], ["pet", 3483], ["petting", 3483], ["though", 3492], ["lonely", 3509], ["sense", 3527], ["word", 3539], ["busy", 3558], ["busied", 3558], ["care", 3621], ["choose", 3648], ["chose", 3648], ["soft", 3655], ["teal", 3660], ["teals", 3660], ["cool", 3671], ["cream", 3677], ["creamest", 3677], ["plan", 3688], ["two", 3704], ["twos", 3704], ["plus", 3742], ["ceiling", 3754], ["contrast", 3770], ["contrasting", 3770], ["en", 3785], ["ens", 3785], ["suite", 3791], ["bathroom", 3800], ["mostly", 3816], ["brown", 3833], ["browns", 3833], ["accent", 3850], ["accenting", 3850], ["accents", 3850], ["accessory", 3869], ["accessories", 3869], ["towel", 3880], ["towels", 3880], ["toweled", 3880], ["towelled", 3880], ["decide", 3897], ["deciding", 3897], ["purchase", 3909], ["easel", 3926], ["instead", 3934], ["opt", 3944], ["optest", 3944], ["opting", 3944], ["take", 3982], ["took", 3982], ["choice", 3994], ["choices", 3994], ["man", 4019], ["mans", 4019], ["manned", 4019], ["mix", 4026], ["mixed", 4026], ["mixing", 4026], ["give", 4041], ["gave", 4041], ["thorough", 4056], ["tall", 4080], ["skinny", 4091], ["thin", 4105], ["thins", 4105], ["thinning", 4105], ["greyish", 4113], ["hair", 4118], ["thick", 4130], ["thickest", 4130], ["iron", 4135], ["colored", 4143], ["mustache", 4152], ["grow", 4162], ["growest", 4162], ["grew", 4162], ["grotesquely", 4174], ["top", 4187], ["upper", 4200], ["lip", 4204], ["lipped", 4204], ["angel", 4213], ["angels", 4213], ["stomach", 4221], ["stomachs", 4221], ["stomaching", 4221], ["turn", 4228], ["turned", 4228], ["dirty", 4236], ["old", 4240], ["disgust", 4269], ["disgusted", 4269], ["admittedly", 4282], ["jade", 4307], ["jaded", 4307], ["conclude", 4339], ["concluded", 4339], ["man", 4343], ["mans", 4343], ["manned", 4343], ["men", 4343], ["necessary", 4365], ["appliance", 4375], ["chagrin", 4397], ["three", 4453], ["year", 4459], ["years", 4459], ["since", 4465], ["relationship", 4493], ["go", 4503], ["goest", 4503], ["went", 4503], ["beyond", 4510], ["sex", 4514], ["kyle", 4531]]
`` i 've always disagreed . `` did you just spell my name , papa ? '' miles smiled tightly at his granddaughter . good job , poppet . '' grace beamed at him . `` i 'm the best speller in my class . i 'm getting a trophy for it . '' `` she 's not coming back , jude , '' miles said softly , leaning down to kiss her forehead . `` all of that is behind us . '' * * * grace loved hospitals . they were grownup places , and because her papa was a surgun-or something like that-people brought her books and juice boxes and gave her paper and crayons . sometimes , when a doctor wanted to be alone with nana and papa , one of the nurses would even take her for a walk through the busy hallways . her favorite was seeing the newborn babies in the see-through plastic boxes . she loved their tiny pink and blue caps . even so , after a few hours , she was bored . ariel was hiding ; she had n't come to grace 's wrist mirror since the playhouse , and grace 's hand was hurting from coloring so many pictures . she was about to whine-again-when the door to nana 's room burst open . dad rushed in , carrying a huge stack of books under one arm . he asked papa . `` i 'm fine , '' nana said . she smiled , but it looked sorta flat . like she was tired . `` you two do n't need to go into doc speak . i had a panic attack that felt a hell of a lot like a heart attack . they 're discharging me now . dad put his books down on the chair beside grace . ruffling her hair , he moved past her and went to the bedside . `` panic attack ? you have n't had one of those in years . not since- '' nana held up a shaking hand . `` we all know the history . '' `` she thought she saw lexi , '' papa said . daddy drew in a sharp breath . nana had a reason , and the reason had a name . grace scrambled up the metal bed rails again and hung on . `` who 's lexi ? '' they just looked at one another . `` a delusion ? '' daddy asked quietly . `` your dad thinks so , '' nana said . `` she 's made her feelings pretty clear , '' daddy said . `` lexi , i mean . she 's probably in florida with eva . '' grace reached over and put her hand in his back pocket . it made her feel connected to him , even if he hardly noticed . `` mildred 's niece is back from school , '' daddy said . `` she has dark brown hair . '' `` i 'm sure that 's who it was , '' nana said . grace bounced a little on the bed rail . the metal clanged . it bugged her that no one was paying attention to her . `` i saw a baby with four arms , '' she said . `` he 's in the nursery . '' `` why do n't you take gracie home , zach ? '' `` she 's been really good . '' grace slithered down from her perch and went to the desk , where she gathered up all her pictures and crayons . taking one drawing of a butterfly on a flower , she handed it to her nana . nana stared at the picture . `` they 're magic crayons . they make anyone better . that 's why the hospital has 'em , '' grace said earnestly . `` the yellow ones can fly . '' `` come on , grace , '' daddy said . he gathered all their things together and took her out to the car . she climbed into the car seat in the back , and he strapped her in . all the way home , grace talked to her daddy . she 'd been quiet for hours , and she had so much to say . she told him about the new game ariel had taught her and the sand dollar she 'd found by the playhouse and about the new friend she 'd made today and the seagull that had landed right in front of her . `` look , daddy , '' grace said , sitting up straighter as they drove through town . there 's my new friend . grace yelled at the closed window , waving furiously . `` did you see her , daddy ? that 's a cool bike she has . i think she 's a movie star . she said she ate an ostrich once . '' daddy kept driving . a few minutes later , he turned into their driveway and parked . `` you believe me about the ostrich lady , do n't you ? she says she- '' `` enough , gracie . no pretending tonight , okay ? daddy 's had a tough day . '' `` i was n't pretending , '' grace said , stung by the accusation .	[["always", 15], ["disagree", 25], ["disagrees", 25], ["disagreeing", 25], ["disagreed", 25], ["spelt", 49], ["spell", 49], ["name", 57], ["papa", 64], ["mile", 75], ["miles", 75], ["smile", 82], ["smiled", 82], ["tightly", 90], ["granddaughter", 111], ["good", 118], ["job", 122], ["jobbing", 122], ["poppet", 131], ["grace", 142], ["beam", 149], ["beamed", 149], ["good", 175], ["best", 175], ["class", 195], ["classing", 195], ["classest", 195], ["get", 210], ["getting", 210], ["trophy", 219], ["come", 252], ["coming", 252], ["back", 257], ["jude", 264], ["say", 280], ["sayest", 280], ["said", 280], ["softly", 287], ["lean", 297], ["leans", 297], ["leaning", 297], ["kiss", 310], ["kisses", 310], ["kissest", 310], ["forehead", 323], ["behind", 350], ["love", 376], ["loved", 376], ["hospital", 386], ["hospitals", 386], ["grownup", 406], ["place", 413], ["places", 413], ["like", 467], ["people", 479], ["bring", 487], ["brought", 487], ["book", 497], ["books", 497], ["juice", 507], ["juicing", 507], ["box", 513], ["boxed", 513], ["boxes", 513], ["give", 522], ["gave", 522], ["paper", 532], ["crayon", 544], ["crayons", 544], ["doctor", 572], ["doctoring", 572], ["doctorest", 572], ["alone", 591], ["nana", 601], ["nurse", 630], ["nurses", 630], ["even", 641], ["evens", 641], ["take", 646], ["walk", 661], ["busy", 678], ["busied", 678], ["hallway", 687], ["hallways", 687], ["favorite", 702], ["favoritest", 702], ["see", 713], ["seeing", 713], ["newborn", 725], ["baby", 732], ["babies", 732], ["see", 743], ["plastic", 759], ["tiny", 788], ["pink", 793], ["blue", 802], ["cap", 807], ["caps", 807], ["hour", 837], ["hours", 837], ["ariel", 861], ["hide", 872], ["hides", 872], ["come", 891], ["wrist", 909], ["mirror", 916], ["since", 922], ["playhouse", 936], ["hand", 956], ["hurt", 968], ["hurts", 968], ["hurting", 968], ["color", 982], ["coloring", 982], ["many", 990], ["picture", 999], ["pictures", 999], ["whine", 1024], ["door", 1044], ["room", 1060], ["roomed", 1060], ["burst", 1066], ["bursted", 1066], ["open", 1071], ["dad", 1077], ["rush", 1084], ["rushed", 1084], ["carry", 1098], ["carrying", 1098], ["huge", 1105], ["stack", 1111], ["stacks", 1111], ["arm", 1134], ["ask", 1145], ["asked", 1145], ["fine", 1165], ["look", 1209], ["looked", 1209], ["sorta", 1215], ["flat", 1220], ["tired", 1241], ["two", 1254], ["twos", 1254], ["need", 1266], ["needest", 1266], ["go", 1272], ["goest", 1272], ["doc", 1281], ["speak", 1287], ["spoken", 1287], ["panic", 1303], ["attack", 1310], ["feel", 1320], ["felt", 1320], ["hell", 1327], ["hells", 1327], ["lot", 1336], ["heart", 1349], ["discharge", 1379], ["discharged", 1379], ["discharging", 1379], ["put", 1396], ["chair", 1424], ["chairing", 1424], ["beside", 1431], ["ruffle", 1448], ["ruffles", 1448], ["ruffling", 1448], ["hair", 1457], ["move", 1468], ["moved", 1468], ["past", 1473], ["go", 1486], ["goest", 1486], ["went", 1486], ["bedside", 1501], ["year", 1560], ["years", 1560], ["hold", 1586], ["held", 1586], ["shake", 1599], ["shaking", 1599], ["know", 1621], ["knowest", 1621], ["history", 1633], ["think", 1653], ["thinkest", 1653], ["thought", 1653], ["see", 1661], ["saw", 1661], ["lexi", 1666], ["daddy", 1689], ["draw", 1694], ["draws", 1694], ["drawn", 1694], ["drew", 1694], ["sharp", 1705], ["sharps", 1705], ["breath", 1712], ["breathest", 1712], ["reason", 1732], ["reasonest", 1732], ["scramble", 1778], ["scrambled", 1778], ["metal", 1791], ["bed", 1795], ["rail", 1801], ["rails", 1801], ["hung", 1816], ["hang", 1816], ["hangs", 1816], ["another", 1873], ["delusion", 1889], ["quietly", 1914], ["think", 1935], ["thinkest", 1935], ["thinks", 1935], ["feeling", 1983], ["feelings", 1983], ["pretty", 1990], ["prettiest", 1990], ["clear", 1996], ["clearest", 1996], ["mean", 2031], ["meanest", 2031], ["probably", 2049], ["florida", 2060], ["eva", 2069], ["reach", 2088], ["reached", 2088], ["pocket", 2129], ["pocketing", 2129], ["feel", 2148], ["hardly", 2185], ["notice", 2193], ["noticed", 2193], ["mildred", 2206], ["niece", 2215], ["school", 2235], ["schooling", 2235], ["dark", 2269], ["brown", 2275], ["browns", 2275], ["sure", 2298], ["bounce", 2348], ["bounced", 2348], ["little", 2357], ["rail", 2373], ["clang", 2393], ["clanged", 2393], ["clanging", 2393], ["bug", 2405], ["bugged", 2405], ["pay", 2432], ["pays", 2432], ["payest", 2432], ["paying", 2432], ["attention", 2442], ["baby", 2467], ["four", 2477], ["arm", 2482], ["arms", 2482], ["nursery", 2522], ["gracie", 2557], ["home", 2562], ["homing", 2562], ["zach", 2569], ["really", 2596], ["slither", 2622], ["slithered", 2622], ["perch", 2642], ["perching", 2642], ["desk", 2663], ["gather", 2684], ["gatherest", 2684], ["gathered", 2684], ["take", 2725], ["taking", 2725], ["drawing", 2737], ["butterfly", 2752], ["flower", 2764], ["hand", 2777], ["handed", 2777], ["stared", 2806], ["picture", 2821], ["magic", 2841], ["anyone", 2868], ["well", 2875], ["wells", 2875], ["hospital", 2902], ["earnestly", 2936], ["yellow", 2952], ["fly", 2965], ["flys", 2965], ["thing", 3036], ["things", 3036], ["together", 3045], ["take", 3054], ["took", 3054], ["car", 3073], ["climb", 3087], ["climbed", 3087], ["seat", 3105], ["strap", 3135], ["straps", 3135], ["strapped", 3135], ["way", 3156], ["ways", 3156], ["talk", 3176], ["talked", 3176], ["quiet", 3209], ["much", 3241], ["say", 3248], ["sayest", 3248], ["tell", 3259], ["told", 3259], ["new", 3277], ["game", 3282], ["teach", 3299], ["taught", 3299], ["sand", 3316], ["dollar", 3323], ["find", 3336], ["found", 3336], ["friend", 3378], ["today", 3396], ["seagull", 3412], ["seagulls", 3412], ["land", 3428], ["landed", 3428], ["right", 3434], ["rightest", 3434], ["front", 3443], ["look", 3460], ["sat", 3494], ["sit", 3494], ["sitting", 3494], ["drive", 3522], ["drove", 3522], ["town", 3535], ["yell", 3575], ["yelled", 3575], ["close", 3589], ["closed", 3589], ["window", 3596], ["windows", 3596], ["wave", 3605], ["waved", 3605], ["waving", 3605], ["furiously", 3615], ["cool", 3661], ["bike", 3666], ["biking", 3666], ["think", 3684], ["thinkest", 3684], ["movie", 3699], ["star", 3704], ["starred", 3704], ["eat", 3723], ["ate", 3723], ["ostrich", 3734], ["ostriches", 3734], ["keep", 3755], ["keepest", 3755], ["kept", 3755], ["drive", 3763], ["driving", 3763], ["minute", 3779], ["minutes", 3779], ["later", 3785], ["turn", 3797], ["turned", 3797], ["driveway", 3817], ["believe", 3845], ["lady", 3871], ["say", 3895], ["sayest", 3895], ["says", 3895], ["enough", 3913], ["pretend", 3938], ["pretendest", 3938], ["pretending", 3938], ["tonight", 3946], ["okay", 3953], ["tough", 3976], ["day", 3980], ["sting", 4033], ["stung", 4033], ["stinging", 4033], ["accusation", 4051]]
place your hands in your lap , he tells me . i jump a little when i feel his hand reach out and touch my leg . he laughs , and its a cruel and wicked thing . his hands gently trail up my leg until he finds my hand , where his fingers curl around my wrist . youre braver than most girls . you do this with a lot of girls ? well at least hes honest . he lifts up my hand and brings it toward himself , and stubble prickles against the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist . you smell like flowers . what perfume do you wear ? afresia , i tell him . i feel like giggling . his nose brushes against my wrist and then the soft touch of his lips follows soon after . the kiss is barely even there , soft and gentle , but i can read a lot from it . his lips are full and hes gentle with his mouth . i fidget on the bed , wondering where this is going . where his mouth will be going next . have you ever thought about what it would be like to be blind ? he guides my hand upwards and takes it in both of his , uncurling my fingers so that my palm is open . he does it slowly , running calloused fingers down the length of my own , and i cant help but shiver . its a fairly simple thing , but the way he does it feels intimate and considered , not just grabbing and touching for the hell of it . i hold my breath as he guides my hand again , until my fingertips meet his hair , and then down to his face . tell me what you think i look like , he says , his voice a resonating growl . he lets go of my hand , and i have to lean forward to reach him properly . i shimmy closer , tucking my legs under my butt so i can balance properly , and then i raise my other hand to his face , too . his hair is short , a little stiff from the styling product hes got in there ; his facial features are strong , pronounced . jaws a little square , nose mostly straight apart from a slightly flattened part near the ridge of his brow . his eyelashes are surprisingly long , and his lipsi was right . his lips are full and way softer than any guys lips have a right to be . especially a guy with a voice like his . from the tingling pads of my fingers , i can sense this guy has the face of an angel . a barbaric onemaybe like one of those guys who did a lot of smiting back in babylon . i think youre probably very attractive , i admit . and what about the rest of me ? he applies a little pressure to my forearms so that they travel down to his chest , where my fingers meet with smooth skin and hard-packed , rippling muscle . his pecs twitch as my hands brush lightly over them , and then downward . i come across three horizontal ridges in his skin that shouldnt be there , to the right of his abs spaced a couple of inches apart , and my fingers draw circles over them , trying to tease their story from them , trying to figure out where they came from . theres an untold history of violence here , written in the planes of his formidable body . he shakes a little as i explore him , probing with a feather-light touch until ive traced my way across his washboard stomach and up over his obliques . he sucks in a sharp breath and tenses when i do that , and i smile a little . this guys ticklish . he doesnt laugh or tell me not to touch him there , but his body tightens further still when i go over the area one more time to test the theory . i move up to his shoulders , which are powerful and strong , and i lace my arms around the back of his neck , feeling over his shoulder blades . hes huge , but im not really afraid of him . of course i should be , yes , but im not . the valium has flattened out my fear , and besides , the way id imagined this , the guy was going to come in here and want to lay his hands on me ; hed poke and prod and examine every inch of me , and hed most definitely want to see what he was paying for . so far , this guy has touched me sparingly and that was on the hand . where did the scars come from ? i was stabbed . he doesnt ponder on whether hes going to answer me ; he just comes right out and says it . did you nearly die ? i let my hands fall from his shoulders and find the scars again , one , two , three of them . they feel jagged and terrible under my fingers . what happened to the person who did this to you ? i almost dont want to ask . mystery mans been unnervingly candid since we began this bizarre interaction five minutes ago , and im afraid his answer will finally put the fear of god into me . he got what was coming to him , he says softly .	[["place", 5], ["hand", 16], ["hands", 16], ["lap", 28], ["laps", 28], ["lapping", 28], ["tell", 39], ["tells", 39], ["jump", 51], ["jumps", 51], ["little", 60], ["feel", 72], ["hand", 81], ["reach", 87], ["touch", 101], ["touching", 101], ["leg", 108], ["laugh", 120], ["laughs", 120], ["cruel", 138], ["wicked", 149], ["thing", 155], ["gently", 174], ["trail", 180], ["find", 205], ["finds", 205], ["finger", 233], ["fingers", 233], ["curl", 238], ["curls", 238], ["curled", 238], ["around", 245], ["wrist", 254], ["girl", 285], ["girls", 285], ["lot", 310], ["well", 326], ["wells", 326], ["least", 335], ["leastest", 335], ["honest", 346], ["lift", 357], ["lifts", 357], ["bring", 379], ["brings", 379], ["toward", 389], ["stubble", 411], ["prickle", 420], ["prickled", 420], ["prickles", 420], ["sensitive", 442], ["skin", 447], ["inside", 461], ["smell", 485], ["smelt", 485], ["smellest", 485], ["like", 490], ["flower", 498], ["flowers", 498], ["perfume", 513], ["perfumes", 513], ["perfumed", 513], ["wear", 525], ["tell", 544], ["giggle", 571], ["giggling", 571], ["nose", 582], ["nosed", 582], ["nosing", 582], ["brush", 590], ["brushest", 590], ["brushes", 590], ["soft", 625], ["lip", 643], ["lipped", 643], ["lips", 643], ["follow", 651], ["follows", 651], ["soon", 656], ["kiss", 673], ["kisses", 673], ["kissest", 673], ["barely", 683], ["even", 688], ["evens", 688], ["gentle", 712], ["gentler", 712], ["read", 729], ["reads", 729], ["full", 763], ["mouth", 793], ["mouthed", 793], ["fidget", 804], ["bed", 815], ["wonder", 827], ["wonderest", 827], ["wondering", 827], ["go", 847], ["goest", 847], ["going", 847], ["next", 884], ["ever", 900], ["everest", 900], ["think", 908], ["thinkest", 908], ["thought", 908], ["blind", 948], ["blinded", 948], ["guide", 960], ["guides", 960], ["upwards", 976], ["take", 986], ["takes", 986], ["uncurl", 1016], ["uncurled", 1016], ["palm", 1043], ["palms", 1043], ["palmed", 1043], ["palmest", 1043], ["open", 1051], ["slowly", 1071], ["run", 1081], ["running", 1081], ["length", 1115], ["help", 1143], ["helpest", 1143], ["shiver", 1154], ["shivering", 1154], ["fairly", 1169], ["simple", 1176], ["simplest", 1176], ["way", 1196], ["ways", 1196], ["feel", 1213], ["feels", 1213], ["intimate", 1222], ["grab", 1257], ["grabbing", 1257], ["touch", 1270], ["touching", 1270], ["hell", 1283], ["hells", 1283], ["hold", 1298], ["breath", 1308], ["breathest", 1308], ["fingertip", 1357], ["fingertips", 1357], ["meet", 1362], ["meeted", 1362], ["hair", 1371], ["face", 1399], ["think", 1424], ["thinkest", 1424], ["look", 1431], ["say", 1446], ["sayest", 1446], ["says", 1446], ["voice", 1458], ["resonate", 1471], ["resonating", 1471], ["growl", 1477], ["growls", 1477], ["let", 1487], ["lets", 1487], ["go", 1490], ["goest", 1490], ["lean", 1522], ["leans", 1522], ["forward", 1530], ["forwardest", 1530], ["forwarding", 1530], ["properly", 1552], ["shimmy", 1563], ["close", 1570], ["closer", 1570], ["tuck", 1580], ["tucked", 1580], ["tucking", 1580], ["leg", 1588], ["legs", 1588], ["butt", 1602], ["butts", 1602], ["buttest", 1602], ["balance", 1619], ["raise", 1647], ["short", 1699], ["stiff", 1716], ["styling", 1733], ["product", 1741], ["get", 1749], ["got", 1749], ["facial", 1771], ["feature", 1780], ["features", 1780], ["strong", 1791], ["square", 1827], ["mostly", 1841], ["straight", 1850], ["apart", 1856], ["slightly", 1872], ["flatten", 1882], ["flattens", 1882], ["flattened", 1882], ["part", 1887], ["parting", 1887], ["near", 1892], ["ridge", 1902], ["brow", 1914], ["eyelash", 1930], ["eyelashes", 1930], ["surprisingly", 1947], ["long", 1952], ["longs", 1952], ["right", 1978], ["rightest", 1978], ["soft", 2013], ["guy", 2027], ["guys", 2027], ["especially", 2064], ["guy", 2070], ["tingle", 2112], ["tingles", 2112], ["tingling", 2112], ["pad", 2117], ["padding", 2117], ["pads", 2117], ["sense", 2145], ["angel", 2179], ["barbaric", 2192], ["smite", 2249], ["smiting", 2249], ["back", 2254], ["babylon", 2265], ["probably", 2290], ["attractive", 2306], ["admit", 2316], ["rest", 2342], ["apply", 2361], ["applyed", 2361], ["applies", 2361], ["pressure", 2379], ["pressured", 2379], ["forearm", 2394], ["forearms", 2394], ["travel", 2414], ["chest", 2432], ["smooth", 2468], ["hard", 2482], ["pack", 2489], ["packed", 2489], ["ripple", 2500], ["ripples", 2500], ["rippling", 2500], ["muscle", 2507], ["pecs", 2518], ["twitch", 2525], ["twitching", 2525], ["twitchest", 2525], ["brush", 2543], ["brushest", 2543], ["lightly", 2551], ["downward", 2581], ["downwards", 2581], ["come", 2590], ["across", 2597], ["three", 2603], ["horizontal", 2614], ["ridge", 2621], ["ridges", 2621], ["abs", 2682], ["space", 2689], ["spaced", 2689], ["spacing", 2689], ["couple", 2698], ["inch", 2708], ["inches", 2708], ["draw", 2736], ["draws", 2736], ["drawn", 2736], ["circle", 2744], ["circles", 2744], ["try", 2763], ["tryed", 2763], ["trying", 2763], ["tease", 2772], ["story", 2784], ["figure", 2813], ["come", 2833], ["came", 2833], ["untold", 2857], ["history", 2865], ["violence", 2877], ["write", 2892], ["writing", 2892], ["written", 2892], ["plane", 2906], ["planes", 2906], ["formidable", 2924], ["body", 2929], ["bodied", 2929], ["shake", 2941], ["shakes", 2941], ["explore", 2963], ["probe", 2977], ["probed", 2977], ["probing", 2977], ["feather", 2992], ["lit", 2998], ["light", 2998], ["trace", 3021], ["traced", 3021], ["washboard", 3049], ["stomach", 3057], ["stomachs", 3057], ["stomaching", 3057], ["oblique", 3082], ["obliques", 3082], ["suck", 3093], ["sucking", 3093], ["sucks", 3093], ["sharp", 3104], ["sharps", 3104], ["tense", 3122], ["smile", 3151], ["ticklish", 3181], ["laugh", 3199], ["tighten", 3257], ["tightens", 3257], ["tightenest", 3257], ["still", 3271], ["area", 3295], ["time", 3309], ["test", 3317], ["theory", 3328], ["move", 3337], ["shoulder", 3357], ["shouldered", 3357], ["shoulders", 3357], ["powerful", 3378], ["lace", 3402], ["arm", 3410], ["arms", 3410], ["neck", 3438], ["necked", 3438], ["feel", 3448], ["feeling", 3448], ["shoulder", 3466], ["shouldered", 3466], ["blade", 3473], ["blades", 3473], ["huge", 3484], ["really", 3504], ["afraid", 3511], ["course", 3530], ["yes", 3548], ["valium", 3574], ["fear", 3600], ["fearest", 3600], ["besides", 3614], ["imagine", 3636], ["imagined", 3636], ["lay", 3693], ["lays", 3693], ["layed", 3693], ["layest", 3693], ["poke", 3720], ["prod", 3729], ["prods", 3729], ["examine", 3741], ["every", 3747], ["inch", 3752], ["definitely", 3784], ["see", 3796], ["pay", 3815], ["pays", 3815], ["payest", 3815], ["paying", 3815], ["far", 3828], ["touch", 3851], ["touching", 3851], ["touched", 3851], ["sparingly", 3864], ["scar", 3911], ["scars", 3911], ["stab", 3937], ["stabs", 3937], ["stabbed", 3937], ["ponder", 3956], ["whether", 3967], ["answer", 3987], ["answeres", 3987], ["answerest", 3987], ["come", 4006], ["comes", 4006], ["nearly", 4045], ["die", 4049], ["let", 4057], ["lets", 4057], ["fall", 4071], ["falls", 4071], ["find", 4099], ["two", 4127], ["twos", 4127], ["terrible", 4175], ["happen", 4208], ["happened", 4208], ["person", 4222], ["almost", 4253], ["ask", 4270], ["mystery", 4280], ["mysteries", 4280], ["unnervingly", 4302], ["candid", 4309], ["since", 4315], ["begin", 4324], ["began", 4324], ["bizarre", 4337], ["interaction", 4349], ["five", 4354], ["fived", 4354], ["minute", 4362], ["minutes", 4362], ["ago", 4366], ["finally", 4406], ["put", 4410], ["god", 4426], ["come", 4459], ["coming", 4459], ["softly", 4483]]
he followed the movement , a smile slowly lifting at the corners of his mouth . `` then maybe i 'd spread you out on this table . '' he leaned over , made a show of testing its sturdiness . `` put your legs over my shoulders , suck on you until you 're just begging for my cock . '' i tried to seem unaffected , tried to break from his stare . i cleared my throat , my mouth suddenly dry . `` you could have done that last night , '' i said , teasing him . last night we were tired and i just wanted to feel you come . tonight , i want to take my time , undress you , kiss every inch of that body-fuck you . watch you f*k me . '' was it suddenly getting warm in here ? `` and what makes you think i do n't have a list of my own ? '' i stood , dessert forgotten as i rounded the table to stop in front of him . his cck was already stiff , straining against the fly of his pants . he followed my gaze and smirked up at me , pupils dark and so wide they drowned the hazel surrounding them . i wanted to rip off my clothes and feel the heat of that stare on my skin , wake up in the morning exhausted and sore and with the memory of his fingertips still pressing into my body . how did he make me feel this way with just a look and a few dirty words ? bennett shifted in his chair and i stepped between his legs , reaching out to push the hair-that eternally freshly fked hair-from his forehead . the soft strands slipped between my fingers and i tilted his head back , bringing his eyes to mine . i 've missed you so much , i wanted to say . do n't go so far away . the words stuck in my throat and nothing more than a `` hi '' slipped out instead . bennett tilted his head , smile widening as he looked up at me . warm hands gripped my hips , pulled me closer . laughter curled around the single word and i knew he could read me like a book , saw every thought as clearly as if it were written across my forehead in ink . it 's not that i was n't comfortable saying i loved him , it 's just that it was so new . i 'd never said it to anyone before him , and sometimes it felt scary , like opening up my chest and handing him my heart . his hand moved up to rest on my breast , thumb brushing along the underside . `` i ca n't help but wonder what 's under this pretty little sweater , '' he said . i sucked in a breath , felt my nples harden beneath the thin cashmere . he slipped one button through the hole , and then another , until the cardigan fell open and his eyes moved over my barely-there bra . he hummed in appreciation . do n't ruin it , '' i warned . he could n't contain his smug smile . `` you bought me a four-hundred-dollar slip and then used it to tie me to your bed , bennett . '' he laughed , pushing the sweater from my shoulders , taking his time to unwrap me like a gift . long fingers moved to the waist of my skirt and the soft sound of the zipper filled the room . he did as he 'd promised , purposefully peeling the wool from my hps and down my legs to pool at my feet , leaving me in only my lace bra and rather skimpy panties . the air conditioner switched on and a low whir carried through the apartment , a burst of cool air rushing along my exposed skin . bennett pulled me down onto his lap , my legs on either side of his hips . the rough fabric of his pants brushed against the backs of my bare thighs , my practically nakd ass . i should have felt vulnerable like this-with me in so little and him fully dressed-but i relished it . it was so much like our first night together at his home , after my presentation , after we 'd both admitted we did n't want to be without the other and he let me tie him up so i could have the nerve to hear how much i 'd hurt him . and then i realized this position was intentional . i suspected he was thinking about that exact night , too . his eyes shone with such hunger , such adoration , that i could n't help but feel a sense of power , like there was n't anything this man would n't do if i just asked . i reached for the buttons of his shirt , wanting him nakd and over me , behind me-everywhere . i wanted to taste him , scratch marks into his skin , and connect them with my fingers , my lips and my teeth . i wanted to stretch him out on the table and f*k him until any thought of either of us ever leaving this room was a distant memory . somewhere in the apartment , a phone rang .	[["follow", 11], ["followed", 11], ["movement", 24], ["smile", 34], ["slowly", 41], ["lift", 49], ["corner", 64], ["corners", 64], ["mouth", 77], ["mouthed", 77], ["maybe", 93], ["spread", 105], ["table", 127], ["tabled", 127], ["tabling", 127], ["lean", 142], ["leans", 142], ["leaned", 142], ["show", 161], ["test", 172], ["sturdiness", 187], ["put", 196], ["leg", 206], ["legs", 206], ["shoulder", 224], ["shouldered", 224], ["shoulders", 224], ["suck", 231], ["sucking", 231], ["beg", 265], ["begging", 265], ["cock", 277], ["cockest", 277], ["try", 290], ["tryed", 290], ["tried", 290], ["seem", 298], ["seeming", 298], ["unaffected", 309], ["break", 326], ["broke", 326], ["stare", 341], ["stared", 341], ["clear", 353], ["clearest", 353], ["cleared", 353], ["throat", 363], ["suddenly", 383], ["dry", 387], ["drier", 387], ["drying", 387], ["last", 422], ["night", 428], ["say", 440], ["sayest", 440], ["said", 440], ["tease", 450], ["teasing", 450], ["tired", 481], ["feel", 507], ["come", 516], ["tonight", 526], ["take", 543], ["time", 551], ["kiss", 572], ["kisses", 572], ["kissest", 572], ["every", 578], ["inch", 583], ["body", 596], ["bodied", 596], ["fuck", 601], ["watch", 613], ["get", 654], ["getting", 654], ["warm", 659], ["think", 697], ["thinkest", 697], ["list", 718], ["stood", 741], ["stand", 741], ["standest", 741], ["dessert", 751], ["forget", 761], ["forgot", 761], ["forgotten", 761], ["round", 774], ["rounded", 774], ["stop", 792], ["front", 801], ["already", 831], ["stiff", 837], ["strain", 849], ["strains", 849], ["straining", 849], ["fly", 865], ["flys", 865], ["pant", 878], ["pants", 878], ["gaze", 900], ["gazes", 900], ["smirk", 912], ["smirked", 912], ["pupil", 930], ["pupils", 930], ["dark", 935], ["wide", 947], ["drown", 960], ["drowns", 960], ["drowned", 960], ["hazel", 970], ["hazels", 970], ["surround", 982], ["surrounding", 982], ["rip", 1005], ["clad", 1020], ["clothe", 1020], ["clothes", 1020], ["heat", 1038], ["heats", 1038], ["heated", 1038], ["skin", 1063], ["wake", 1070], ["wakes", 1070], ["woken", 1070], ["morning", 1088], ["sore", 1107], ["memory", 1127], ["memories", 1127], ["fingertip", 1145], ["fingertips", 1145], ["still", 1151], ["press", 1160], ["pressing", 1160], ["way", 1208], ["ways", 1208], ["look", 1225], ["dirty", 1241], ["word", 1247], ["words", 1247], ["bennett", 1257], ["shift", 1265], ["shifted", 1265], ["chair", 1278], ["chairing", 1278], ["step", 1292], ["stepped", 1292], ["reach", 1320], ["reaching", 1320], ["push", 1332], ["hair", 1341], ["eternally", 1356], ["freshly", 1364], ["forehead", 1394], ["soft", 1405], ["strand", 1413], ["strands", 1413], ["slip", 1421], ["slipped", 1421], ["finger", 1440], ["fingers", 1440], ["tilt", 1453], ["tilting", 1453], ["tilted", 1453], ["head", 1462], ["back", 1467], ["bring", 1478], ["bringing", 1478], ["eye", 1487], ["eyed", 1487], ["eyes", 1487], ["miss", 1510], ["missed", 1510], ["much", 1522], ["say", 1540], ["sayest", 1540], ["go", 1552], ["goest", 1552], ["far", 1559], ["away", 1564], ["stick", 1582], ["stickest", 1582], ["stuck", 1582], ["nothing", 1607], ["hi", 1625], ["instead", 1648], ["widenings", 1691], ["look", 1704], ["looked", 1704], ["hand", 1726], ["hands", 1726], ["grip", 1734], ["hip", 1742], ["hips", 1742], ["pull", 1751], ["pulled", 1751], ["close", 1761], ["closer", 1761], ["laughter", 1772], ["curl", 1779], ["curls", 1779], ["curled", 1779], ["around", 1786], ["single", 1797], ["word", 1802], ["know", 1813], ["knowest", 1813], ["knew", 1813], ["read", 1827], ["reads", 1827], ["like", 1835], ["book", 1842], ["see", 1848], ["saw", 1848], ["thought", 1862], ["clearly", 1873], ["write", 1895], ["writing", 1895], ["written", 1895], ["across", 1902], ["ink", 1921], ["comfortable", 1960], ["say", 1967], ["sayest", 1967], ["saying", 1967], ["love", 1975], ["loved", 1975], ["new", 2011], ["never", 2024], ["anyone", 2042], ["feel", 2077], ["felt", 2077], ["scary", 2083], ["open", 2098], ["chest", 2110], ["hand", 2122], ["heart", 2135], ["hand", 2146], ["move", 2152], ["moved", 2152], ["rest", 2163], ["breast", 2176], ["breasted", 2176], ["breasting", 2176], ["thumb", 2184], ["thumbed", 2184], ["brushing", 2193], ["along", 2199], ["underside", 2213], ["ca", 2223], ["cas", 2223], ["help", 2232], ["helpest", 2232], ["wonder", 2243], ["wonderest", 2243], ["pretty", 2269], ["prettiest", 2269], ["little", 2276], ["sweater", 2284], ["suck", 2308], ["sucking", 2308], ["sucked", 2308], ["breath", 2320], ["breathest", 2320], ["harden", 2345], ["hardens", 2345], ["beneath", 2353], ["thin", 2362], ["thins", 2362], ["cashmere", 2371], ["button", 2395], ["buttoning", 2395], ["hole", 2412], ["another", 2431], ["cardigan", 2452], ["cardigans", 2452], ["fall", 2457], ["falls", 2457], ["fell", 2457], ["open", 2462], ["barely", 2496], ["bra", 2506], ["bras", 2506], ["hum", 2518], ["hummed", 2518], ["appreciation", 2534], ["ruin", 2548], ["ruinest", 2548], ["warn", 2565], ["warned", 2565], ["contain", 2588], ["containest", 2588], ["smug", 2597], ["buy", 2619], ["buyed", 2619], ["bought", 2619], ["four", 2629], ["hundred", 2637], ["dollar", 2644], ["slip", 2649], ["use", 2663], ["used", 2663], ["tie", 2673], ["tying", 2673], ["tieing", 2673], ["bed", 2688], ["laugh", 2714], ["laughed", 2714], ["push", 2724], ["pushing", 2724], ["take", 2763], ["taking", 2763], ["unwrap", 2782], ["unwraps", 2782], ["gift", 2797], ["long", 2804], ["longs", 2804], ["waist", 2831], ["skirt", 2843], ["sound", 2862], ["zipper", 2876], ["zippers", 2876], ["fill", 2883], ["fills", 2883], ["filled", 2883], ["room", 2892], ["roomed", 2892], ["promise", 2919], ["promised", 2919], ["purposefully", 2934], ["peel", 2942], ["wool", 2951], ["wools", 2951], ["pool", 2989], ["foot", 3000], ["feet", 3000], ["left", 3010], ["leave", 3010], ["leaving", 3010], ["lace", 3029], ["rather", 3044], ["skimpy", 3051], ["pantie", 3059], ["panties", 3059], ["air", 3069], ["airs", 3069], ["airing", 3069], ["conditioner", 3081], ["switch", 3090], ["switching", 3090], ["switched", 3090], ["low", 3103], ["lowed", 3103], ["whir", 3108], ["carry", 3116], ["carried", 3116], ["apartment", 3138], ["burst", 3148], ["bursted", 3148], ["cool", 3156], ["expose", 3185], ["exposed", 3185], ["onto", 3220], ["ontos", 3220], ["lap", 3228], ["laps", 3228], ["lapping", 3228], ["either", 3248], ["side", 3253], ["sidest", 3253], ["rough", 3277], ["roughs", 3277], ["roughest", 3277], ["roughing", 3277], ["fabric", 3284], ["brush", 3305], ["brushest", 3305], ["brushed", 3305], ["back", 3323], ["backs", 3323], ["bare", 3334], ["thigh", 3341], ["thighs", 3341], ["practically", 3358], ["ass", 3368], ["vulnerable", 3400], ["fully", 3445], ["dress", 3453], ["dressest", 3453], ["dressed", 3453], ["relish", 3468], ["relished", 3468], ["first", 3503], ["firstest", 3503], ["together", 3518], ["home", 3530], ["homing", 3530], ["presentation", 3554], ["admit", 3582], ["admitted", 3582], ["without", 3612], ["let", 3633], ["lets", 3633], ["nerve", 3673], ["hear", 3681], ["hears", 3681], ["hurt", 3700], ["hurts", 3700], ["hurting", 3700], ["realize", 3726], ["realized", 3726], ["position", 3740], ["intentional", 3756], ["suspect", 3770], ["suspected", 3770], ["think", 3786], ["thinkest", 3786], ["thinking", 3786], ["exact", 3803], ["shine", 3832], ["shone", 3832], ["shined", 3832], ["hunger", 3849], ["hungers", 3849], ["hungering", 3849], ["adoration", 3866], ["sense", 3907], ["power", 3916], ["anything", 3946], ["man", 3955], ["mans", 3955], ["manned", 3955], ["ask", 3984], ["asked", 3984], ["reach", 3996], ["reached", 3996], ["button", 4012], ["buttoning", 4012], ["buttons", 4012], ["shirt", 4025], ["behind", 4066], ["everywhere", 4080], ["taste", 4100], ["scratch", 4114], ["scratched", 4114], ["scratching", 4114], ["mark", 4120], ["marks", 4120], ["connect", 4148], ["connectest", 4148], ["lip", 4179], ["lipped", 4179], ["lips", 4179], ["tooth", 4192], ["teeth", 4192], ["stretch", 4214], ["ever", 4287], ["everest", 4287], ["distant", 4319], ["somewhere", 4338], ["phone", 4365]]
`` one day this house will be his . '' as she looked around , her gaze fell lovingly on the things in the room-the books , the antique desk , the rich oriental carpet . `` i 'll tell you right now , if he marries one of those ... those girls he 's been dallying with for the last few years , i 'd rather donate my home to the zoo . as i said , it 's time he settled down and married a lady . '' `` i ... i 'm not sure i qualify as one , '' she murmured . the older woman 's gaze narrowed and she appeared to carefully choose her words . now , tell me about yourself . '' colette paused and was about to describe her own family when elizabeth raised a hand . `` before you get started , i 'd like you to answer one question . it might be an uncomfortable one and i apologize for that in advance . nevertheless , i insist on the truth . '' colette hoped it was n't the question she feared most . elizabeth leaned forward and stared at colette intently . `` it 's obvious you love the boy . something 's gone wrong . `` i ... '' `` the truth , '' she demanded . colette clasped her hands and nodded . `` my dear , dear girl , love is always complicated . it would n't be love unless it was . '' colette agreed with a silent nod . `` you 're pregnant , are n't you ? '' colette 's eyes widened and then instantly flooded with tears . chapter 18 `` i love capturing the beauty and movement of a dog in intarsia knitting . it 's fun to use a colorful palette of yarns , to knit a sweater that shows not only the splendor of the breed but its owner 's love and pride . '' peggy gaffney , lydia goetz f riday started off well . sales were steady , and i saw some of my favorite customers . at home the night before , brad and i had spent hours discussing adoption , weighing the pros and cons . my biggest fear , and one i shared with brad , was the future . it was one thing to open a yarn store ; if the cancer returned , i could always sell out . bringing a child into our lives was another story entirely . as much as i lived in hope and health , the threat of the disease always hung over me and i could n't ignore that and neither could brad . by the end of the evening , we were still of two minds , but i felt closer to him than ever . we decided to set the question of adoption aside for the moment . friday morning , i noticed an improvement in margaret 's attitude . i assumed this had come about because of thursday 's conversation with detective johnson . it seemed likely that the suspect they 'd been watching would soon be picked up . margaret was in a state of excitement all day , and i felt so pleased for her . pleased and relieved . yes , by all means , i wanted this lunatic found , charged and sent to jail . even more , i wanted this matter shelved for julia 's sake . and my sister 's . the yarn store was doing well financially and i felt such a strong connection with my customers , especially the women in my prayer shawl class . i 'd noticed that colette and alix had become friends . that should n't have surprised me , and yet it did . i would n't have thought they had much in common . but then , alix is probably one of the most complex people i 've ever met . she 's able to adjust to people and situations easily-except for that out-of-control wedding . still , she was doing her best to cope because she loves jacqueline . who would 've believed jacqueline donovan and alix would become so close ? i think the world of jacqueline and reese for the way they helped alix , helped and encouraged her through her schooling and as a bride-to-be . when paul , their only son , married tammie lee , jacqueline was n't involved in the wedding . at one time there were hard feelings because of this . now , of course , that 's all water under the proverbial bridge . with alix 's wedding , however , it was as if jacqueline was making up for lost time-and lost opportunities . she was planning the social event of the year . i had to hand it to alix ; she 'd been patient and good-natured about the whole thing . at about four o'clock , the phone rang , and because i was standing closest to the cash register i automatically reached for it . `` a good yarn , '' i said into the receiver . `` aunt lydia ? '' it was hailey , my niece and margaret 's youngest daughter . `` oh , hi- '' `` do n't say my name , '' hailey pleaded .	[["day", 10], ["house", 21], ["look", 52], ["looked", 52], ["around", 59], ["gaze", 70], ["gazes", 70], ["fall", 75], ["falls", 75], ["fell", 75], ["lovingly", 84], ["thing", 98], ["things", 98], ["room", 110], ["roomed", 110], ["book", 120], ["books", 120], ["antique", 134], ["desk", 139], ["rich", 150], ["oriental", 159], ["carpet", 166], ["tell", 182], ["right", 192], ["rightest", 192], ["marry", 212], ["married", 212], ["girl", 241], ["girls", 241], ["dally", 261], ["dallying", 261], ["last", 279], ["year", 289], ["years", 289], ["rather", 303], ["donate", 310], ["home", 318], ["homing", 318], ["zoo", 329], ["zoos", 329], ["say", 341], ["sayest", 341], ["said", 341], ["time", 354], ["settle", 365], ["settled", 365], ["marry", 382], ["married", 382], ["lady", 389], ["sure", 417], ["qualify", 427], ["qualified", 427], ["murmur", 452], ["murmurest", 452], ["murmured", 452], ["old", 464], ["woman", 470], ["womans", 470], ["narrow", 487], ["narrowed", 487], ["appear", 504], ["appeared", 504], ["carefully", 517], ["choose", 524], ["word", 534], ["words", 534], ["colette", 578], ["pause", 585], ["paused", 585], ["describe", 611], ["family", 626], ["elizabeth", 641], ["raise", 648], ["raised", 648], ["hand", 655], ["get", 675], ["start", 683], ["started", 683], ["like", 695], ["answer", 709], ["answeres", 709], ["answerest", 709], ["question", 722], ["may", 733], ["mays", 733], ["mayest", 733], ["might", 733], ["uncomfortable", 753], ["apologize", 773], ["advance", 793], ["advancest", 793], ["nevertheless", 808], ["insist", 819], ["insistest", 819], ["truth", 832], ["hope", 851], ["hoped", 851], ["fear", 886], ["fearest", 886], ["feared", 886], ["lean", 910], ["leans", 910], ["leaned", 910], ["forward", 918], ["forwardest", 918], ["forwarding", 918], ["stare", 929], ["stared", 929], ["intently", 949], ["obvious", 968], ["love", 977], ["boy", 985], ["go", 1005], ["goest", 1005], ["gone", 1005], ["wrong", 1011], ["demand", 1056], ["demandest", 1056], ["demanded", 1056], ["clasp", 1074], ["clasped", 1074], ["hand", 1084], ["hands", 1084], ["nod", 1095], ["nodded", 1095], ["dear", 1108], ["dearest", 1108], ["girl", 1120], ["always", 1137], ["complicatedest", 1149], ["unless", 1179], ["unlesss", 1179], ["agree", 1206], ["agreed", 1206], ["silent", 1220], ["nod", 1224], ["pregnant", 1246], ["eye", 1281], ["eyed", 1281], ["eyes", 1281], ["widen", 1289], ["widened", 1289], ["instantly", 1308], ["flood", 1316], ["flooded", 1316], ["tear", 1327], ["teared", 1327], ["tears", 1327], ["chapter", 1337], ["capture", 1360], ["capturing", 1360], ["beauty", 1371], ["movement", 1384], ["dog", 1393], ["intarsia", 1405], ["knit", 1414], ["knits", 1414], ["knitted", 1414], ["knitting", 1414], ["fun", 1426], ["use", 1433], ["colorful", 1444], ["palette", 1452], ["yarn", 1461], ["yarns", 1461], ["knit", 1471], ["knits", 1471], ["knitted", 1471], ["sweater", 1481], ["show", 1492], ["shows", 1492], ["splendor", 1514], ["breed", 1527], ["owner", 1541], ["pride", 1559], ["peggy", 1570], ["gaffney", 1578], ["lydia", 1586], ["f", 1594], ["fs", 1594], ["ves", 1594], ["well", 1617], ["wells", 1617], ["sale", 1625], ["sales", 1625], ["steady", 1637], ["see", 1649], ["saw", 1649], ["favorite", 1669], ["favoritest", 1669], ["customer", 1679], ["customers", 1679], ["night", 1699], ["brad", 1713], ["spend", 1729], ["spends", 1729], ["spendest", 1729], ["spent", 1729], ["hour", 1735], ["hours", 1735], ["discuss", 1746], ["discusses", 1746], ["discussest", 1746], ["discussing", 1746], ["adoption", 1755], ["weigh", 1766], ["weighest", 1766], ["weighing", 1766], ["pro", 1775], ["pros", 1775], ["con", 1784], ["cons", 1784], ["big", 1797], ["bigs", 1797], ["biggest", 1797], ["fear", 1802], ["fearest", 1802], ["share", 1821], ["shared", 1821], ["future", 1848], ["thing", 1867], ["open", 1875], ["yarn", 1882], ["store", 1888], ["cancer", 1904], ["return", 1913], ["returnest", 1913], ["returned", 1913], ["sell", 1935], ["sells", 1935], ["bring", 1950], ["bringing", 1950], ["child", 1958], ["childs", 1958], ["life", 1973], ["lifes", 1973], ["lives", 1973], ["another", 1985], ["story", 1991], ["entirely", 2000], ["much", 2010], ["live", 2021], ["lived", 2021], ["hope", 2029], ["health", 2040], ["healths", 2040], ["threat", 2053], ["disease", 2068], ["hung", 2080], ["hang", 2080], ["hangs", 2080], ["ignore", 2111], ["neither", 2128], ["end", 2152], ["ends", 2152], ["endest", 2152], ["evening", 2167], ["still", 2183], ["two", 2190], ["twos", 2190], ["mind", 2196], ["minding", 2196], ["minds", 2196], ["feel", 2209], ["felt", 2209], ["close", 2216], ["closer", 2216], ["ever", 2233], ["everest", 2233], ["decide", 2246], ["decided", 2246], ["set", 2253], ["aside", 2284], ["moment", 2299], ["friday", 2308], ["morning", 2316], ["notice", 2328], ["noticed", 2328], ["improvement", 2343], ["margaret", 2355], ["attitude", 2367], ["assume", 2379], ["assumes", 2379], ["assumed", 2379], ["come", 2393], ["thursday", 2419], ["thursdays", 2419], ["conversation", 2435], ["detective", 2450], ["johnson", 2458], ["seem", 2470], ["seeming", 2470], ["seemed", 2470], ["suspect", 2494], ["watch", 2516], ["watching", 2516], ["soon", 2527], ["pick", 2537], ["picked", 2537], ["state", 2566], ["excitement", 2580], ["pleased", 2612], ["yes", 2649], ["mean", 2664], ["meanest", 2664], ["means", 2664], ["lunatic", 2688], ["find", 2694], ["found", 2694], ["charge", 2704], ["charged", 2704], ["send", 2713], ["sent", 2713], ["jail", 2721], ["jails", 2721], ["jailest", 2721], ["jailing", 2721], ["even", 2728], ["evens", 2728], ["matter", 2756], ["mattering", 2756], ["shelve", 2764], ["shelved", 2764], ["julia", 2774], ["sake", 2782], ["sakes", 2782], ["sister", 2798], ["financially", 2845], ["strong", 2870], ["connection", 2881], ["especially", 2912], ["woman", 2922], ["womans", 2922], ["women", 2922], ["prayer", 2935], ["shawl", 2941], ["shawls", 2941], ["class", 2947], ["classing", 2947], ["classest", 2947], ["alix", 2984], ["become", 2995], ["friend", 3003], ["friends", 3003], ["surprise", 3036], ["surprised", 3036], ["yet", 3049], ["think", 3083], ["thinkest", 3083], ["thought", 3083], ["common", 3107], ["commons", 3107], ["commonest", 3107], ["probably", 3137], ["complex", 3161], ["people", 3168], ["meet", 3183], ["meeted", 3183], ["met", 3183], ["able", 3197], ["abled", 3197], ["adjust", 3207], ["situation", 3232], ["situations", 3232], ["easily", 3239], ["except", 3246], ["control", 3270], ["wedding", 3278], ["good", 3311], ["best", 3311], ["cope", 3319], ["coped", 3319], ["love", 3337], ["loves", 3337], ["jacqueline", 3348], ["believe", 3373], ["believed", 3373], ["donovan", 3392], ["close", 3423], ["think", 3433], ["thinkest", 3433], ["world", 3443], ["reese", 3467], ["way", 3479], ["ways", 3479], ["help", 3491], ["helpest", 3491], ["helped", 3491], ["encourage", 3520], ["encouraged", 3520], ["schoolings", 3546], ["bride", 3561], ["paul", 3579], ["pauls", 3579], ["son", 3596], ["tammie", 3613], ["lee", 3617], ["lees", 3617], ["involve", 3647], ["involved", 3647], ["hard", 3692], ["feeling", 3701], ["feelings", 3701], ["course", 3735], ["water", 3755], ["proverbial", 3776], ["bridge", 3783], ["however", 3816], ["lose", 3865], ["lost", 3865], ["opportunity", 3893], ["opportunities", 3893], ["plan", 3912], ["social", 3923], ["event", 3929], ["year", 3941], ["patient", 3990], ["good", 3999], ["natured", 4007], ["whole", 4023], ["wholes", 4023], ["four", 4045], ["phone", 4065], ["stood", 4099], ["stand", 4099], ["standest", 4099], ["standing", 4099], ["close", 4107], ["closest", 4107], ["cash", 4119], ["cashed", 4119], ["register", 4128], ["automatically", 4144], ["reach", 4152], ["reached", 4152], ["receiver", 4206], ["aunt", 4216], ["hailey", 4241], ["niece", 4252], ["young", 4277], ["youngest", 4277], ["daughter", 4286], ["oh", 4294], ["say", 4317], ["sayest", 4317], ["name", 4325], ["plead", 4345], ["pleaded", 4345]]
maybe something would occur to him during this trip to nowhere , idaho , looking for a runaway accountant who might or might not already be dead . cate completely stripped the bed in number 3 . removing even the blankets and mattress cover . she intended to wash everything . mr. layton might not be dead , but she suspected he was , and she thought it would be slightly ghoulish to remake the bed without washing all the bed linens , top to bottom . the next guest would n't know , but she would . her mother had taken the boys on a picnic , so the house was quiet for once . they were just a quarter of a mile away , at the picnic table neenah dase had installed under a big tree in her backyard , but to the boys they were on a grand adventure , cate had watched from the window as they walked off down trail stop 's one real road , her mother carrying a small basket loaded with peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches and lemonade , with the boys circling around her in a frenzy of excitement . for every step she took , they each took at least five , hopping and skipping and darting away to examine a bug , a rock , a leaf , then returning to their grandmother like satellites to a planet . cate hoped they 'd be nice and tired when they returned ; since her mother 's arrival they 'd been in high gear , and she suspected her mother was as ready for a little quiet time as she herself was . the phone call she 'd received from national car rental made her feel both vaguely uneasy and vaguely depressed . the depression was because the call only verified that mr. layton was missing and now she felt bad that she 'd been so annoyed when he did n't return on schedule . the uneasiness ... she could n't pinpoint the cause of that . maybe it was just this entire situation ; she 'd never before had a guest go missing , and she had a growing sense that whatever had happened to mr. layton , it was n't good . because she felt as if she should , she called the sheriff 's department again to report the call she 'd received . she was put in touch with the same investigator , seth marburg . for all she knew , he was the county 's only investigator . `` i know i 'm being a bother , '' she said apologetically , and explained about the phone call . `` he not only did n't come back yesterday , he did n't return his rental car . the rental agency called here asking to speak to him , since he did n't turn the car in . he has n't been reported in any accidents , and there are n't any unidentified victims . he has n't been reported missing by any friends or family , either . you said he left his clothes behind ? `` it 's actually just one change of clothes . some underwear and socks , disposable razor , some toiletries . and a plastic bag from wal-mart . i do n't know what 's in it . '' `` it sounds as if he did n't leave anything important . '' `` no , nothing looks important . '' `` mrs. nightingale , i know you 're worried , but no crime has been committed and there 's no evidence that mr. layton 's had an accident . sometimes people just walk away , for no good reason . you have his credit card number , so he did n't run out on his bill , right ? '' `` he left under his own steam . he did n't bother to check out , and he left some unimportant things behind . we 'll keep checking for an accident site along the most likely routes , but in all likelihood he just - left . '' she could n't see marbury , but cate knew he 'd shrugged . `` but what about his rental car ? '' `` that 's between him and the rental agency . the car has n't been reported stolen , so there 's nothing we can do about that , either . '' there was no help there ; as marburg had pointed out , no crime had been committed . if mr. layton had family , either he 'd been in touch with them or they had n't expected to hear from him yet , so he was n't officially missing . he had just vanished . maybe she mas making too much of this . maybe mr. layton was fine , and he simply had n't bothered to come back for the few possessions he 'd left here . she thought back over the sequence of events . yesterday morning he 'd briefly come downstairs , but as soon as he realized the dining room was full , he 'd stepped back from the door and returned to his room . sometime between then and when she 'd gone upstairs to check on the twins , he 'd climbed out of his bedroom window and driven away .	[["maybe", 5], ["occur", 27], ["occurest", 27], ["trip", 51], ["tripping", 51], ["nowhere", 62], ["idaho", 70], ["look", 80], ["looking", 80], ["runaway", 94], ["runaways", 94], ["accountant", 105], ["may", 115], ["mays", 115], ["mayest", 115], ["might", 115], ["already", 136], ["dead", 144], ["cate", 151], ["completely", 162], ["strip", 171], ["stripped", 171], ["bed", 179], ["number", 189], ["numbering", 189], ["remove", 202], ["removing", 202], ["even", 207], ["evens", 207], ["blanket", 220], ["blankets", 220], ["mattress", 233], ["mattresses", 233], ["cover", 239], ["intend", 254], ["intendest", 254], ["intended", 254], ["wash", 262], ["everything", 273], ["mr", 278], ["layton", 286], ["suspect", 324], ["suspected", 324], ["think", 349], ["thinkest", 349], ["thought", 349], ["slightly", 370], ["ghoulish", 379], ["remake", 389], ["without", 405], ["wash", 413], ["linen", 432], ["linens", 432], ["top", 438], ["bottom", 448], ["bottoming", 448], ["next", 459], ["guest", 465], ["guestest", 465], ["know", 480], ["knowest", 480], ["mother", 509], ["mothered", 509], ["motherest", 509], ["take", 519], ["taken", 519], ["boy", 528], ["boys", 528], ["picnic", 540], ["picnicked", 540], ["picnicking", 540], ["house", 555], ["quiet", 565], ["quarter", 601], ["quartering", 601], ["mile", 611], ["miles", 611], ["away", 616], ["table", 638], ["tabled", 638], ["tabling", 638], ["instal", 664], ["installed", 664], ["big", 676], ["bigs", 676], ["tree", 681], ["treed", 681], ["treeing", 681], ["backyard", 697], ["grand", 736], ["adventure", 746], ["watch", 765], ["watched", 765], ["window", 781], ["windows", 781], ["walk", 796], ["walked", 796], ["trail", 811], ["stop", 816], ["reis", 828], ["real", 828], ["road", 833], ["carry", 855], ["carrying", 855], ["small", 863], ["basket", 870], ["load", 877], ["loaded", 877], ["peanut", 889], ["butter", 896], ["buttering", 896], ["jelly", 906], ["jellies", 906], ["jellied", 906], ["sandwich", 917], ["sandwiches", 917], ["lemonade", 930], ["circle", 955], ["circling", 955], ["around", 962], ["frenzy", 978], ["frenzied", 978], ["excitement", 992], ["every", 1004], ["step", 1009], ["take", 1018], ["took", 1018], ["least", 1044], ["leastest", 1044], ["five", 1049], ["fived", 1049], ["hopping", 1059], ["skip", 1072], ["skips", 1072], ["skipped", 1072], ["skipping", 1072], ["dart", 1084], ["darted", 1084], ["darting", 1084], ["examine", 1100], ["bug", 1106], ["bugged", 1106], ["rock", 1115], ["leaf", 1124], ["leafing", 1124], ["return", 1141], ["returnest", 1141], ["returning", 1141], ["grandmother", 1162], ["like", 1167], ["satellite", 1178], ["satellites", 1178], ["planet", 1190], ["hope", 1203], ["hoped", 1203], ["nice", 1219], ["tired", 1229], ["return", 1248], ["returnest", 1248], ["returned", 1248], ["since", 1256], ["arrival", 1278], ["high", 1299], ["gear", 1304], ["ready", 1348], ["little", 1361], ["time", 1372], ["phone", 1403], ["call", 1408], ["receive", 1424], ["received", 1424], ["national", 1438], ["car", 1442], ["rental", 1449], ["feel", 1463], ["vaguely", 1476], ["uneasy", 1483], ["depression", 1522], ["verify", 1557], ["verified", 1557], ["miss", 1585], ["missing", 1585], ["feel", 1602], ["felt", 1602], ["bad", 1606], ["return", 1657], ["returnest", 1657], ["schedule", 1669], ["uneasiness", 1686], ["pinpoint", 1713], ["pinpointing", 1713], ["cause", 1723], ["entire", 1763], ["situation", 1773], ["never", 1788], ["go", 1810], ["goest", 1810], ["grow", 1842], ["growest", 1842], ["growing", 1842], ["sense", 1848], ["whatever", 1862], ["happen", 1875], ["happened", 1875], ["good", 1907], ["call", 1956], ["called", 1956], ["sheriff", 1968], ["department", 1982], ["report", 1998], ["put", 2037], ["touch", 2046], ["touching", 2046], ["investigator", 2073], ["seth", 2080], ["marburg", 2088], ["know", 2107], ["knowest", 2107], ["knew", 2107], ["county", 2127], ["bother", 2180], ["bothers", 2180], ["bothering", 2180], ["say", 2194], ["sayest", 2194], ["said", 2194], ["apologetically", 2209], ["explain", 2225], ["explained", 2225], ["come", 2276], ["back", 2281], ["yesterday", 2291], ["yesterdays", 2291], ["agency", 2346], ["ask", 2365], ["asking", 2365], ["speak", 2374], ["spoken", 2374], ["turn", 2405], ["report", 2443], ["reported", 2443], ["accident", 2460], ["accidents", 2460], ["unidentified", 2497], ["victim", 2505], ["victims", 2505], ["friend", 2555], ["friends", 2555], ["family", 2565], ["either", 2574], ["left", 2593], ["leave", 2593], ["clad", 2605], ["clothe", 2605], ["clothes", 2605], ["behind", 2612], ["change", 2648], ["underwear", 2676], ["sock", 2686], ["socks", 2686], ["socked", 2686], ["disposable", 2699], ["razor", 2705], ["razoring", 2705], ["toiletry", 2723], ["toiletries", 2723], ["plastic", 2739], ["bag", 2743], ["bagged", 2743], ["bagging", 2743], ["wal", 2752], ["mart", 2757], ["sound", 2805], ["sounds", 2805], ["left", 2828], ["leave", 2828], ["anything", 2837], ["important", 2847], ["nothing", 2868], ["look", 2874], ["looks", 2874], ["mrs", 2896], ["nightingale", 2909], ["crime", 2949], ["commit", 2968], ["committed", 2968], ["evidence", 2993], ["accident", 3028], ["people", 3047], ["walk", 3057], ["reason", 3083], ["reasonest", 3083], ["credit", 3105], ["card", 3110], ["run", 3137], ["bill", 3153], ["right", 3161], ["rightest", 3161], ["steam", 3197], ["steams", 3197], ["steamed", 3197], ["steamest", 3197], ["check", 3226], ["unimportant", 3261], ["thing", 3268], ["things", 3268], ["keep", 3289], ["keepest", 3289], ["check", 3298], ["checking", 3298], ["site", 3319], ["siting", 3319], ["along", 3325], ["route", 3348], ["routed", 3348], ["routeing", 3348], ["routes", 3348], ["likelihood", 3372], ["see", 3410], ["shrug", 3449], ["shrugging", 3449], ["shrugged", 3449], ["steal", 3573], ["stole", 3573], ["stolen", 3573], ["help", 3648], ["helpest", 3648], ["point", 3679], ["pointed", 3679], ["expect", 3804], ["expected", 3804], ["hear", 3812], ["hears", 3812], ["yet", 3825], ["officially", 3852], ["vanish", 3883], ["vanishest", 3883], ["vanished", 3883], ["mas", 3899], ["much", 3915], ["fine", 3951], ["simply", 3967], ["bother", 3984], ["bothers", 3984], ["bothering", 3984], ["bothered", 3984], ["possession", 4021], ["possessions", 4021], ["sequence", 4074], ["sequences", 4074], ["event", 4084], ["events", 4084], ["morning", 4104], ["briefly", 4118], ["downstairs", 4134], ["soon", 4148], ["realize", 4163], ["realized", 4163], ["room", 4179], ["roomed", 4179], ["full", 4188], ["step", 4204], ["stepped", 4204], ["door", 4223], ["sometime", 4259], ["go", 4293], ["goest", 4293], ["gone", 4293], ["upstairs", 4302], ["twin", 4324], ["twins", 4324], ["climb", 4340], ["climbed", 4340], ["bedroom", 4359], ["drive", 4377], ["driven", 4377]]
the firm , velvet-soft caress of his kiss sizzled along her lips and she clung to him , barely able to breathe , unable to move , mesmerized by the sensation of her heart coming alive in ways it had never been before . of the depth of commitment she felt , the devotion knitting into her soul . when he lifted his lips from hers , they stood in silence gazing into each other 's eyes , surrounded by sunlight as spring returned to the world around them . she drew in a slow breath , never wanting this moment to end . `` come here , sunshine . '' he pulled her snug against him , folding her against his powerful chest . she sighed , burrowing into him , never wanting to let him go . nothing was sweeter than being in his arms , her cheek pressed against his coat , listening to the reliable thump of his heart . yes , this is how she wanted to spend forever . not that it was possible , so she held him while she could . holding on , when she should be letting go . * * * aumaleigh took the empty tea cup from doc hartwell and carried it over to the wash basin . those few steps gave her a moment to compose herself . one look at the physician 's weathered face told her exactly what she feared . not a surprise , as this day had been a long time coming , mother had been suffering from her wasting disease for two decades now , but still . it would be hard to take . she set the saucer down with a clink , took a moment to breathe in the silence of the still house , fortified herself with as much strength as she could . `` you were right to have me come and check her again . often small strokes are a precursor to something worse . '' the doc 's boots knelled slowly on the hardwood , coming closer . voice low , so his words wouldnt carry upstairs where mother lay resting . the older gentleman 's face wreathed in compassion . `` you must prepare for the end , i 'm afraid . mother has fought so hard for so long . '' her throat choked closed , cutting off her words . a surge of raw , horrible grief rolled up , flooding her chest , driving out every other feeling . it did n't matter that her mother had been impossible to deal with , she still loved the womanthe woman who had cost her so much . she closed her eyes against the hot seep of tears . now was not the time to give into them . she held herself upright , grabbing the counter for support . `` just keep her comfortable and very calm . i know that 's hard with maureen , but this is important . i 've left more laudanum on the corner of the table there . '' doc 's tone softened . `` you are working too hard , aumaleigh , caring for her . perhaps you can hire someone to help for this last little bit . you must n't wear down your health . '' `` that 's good advice , thank you . '' she wearily shook her head , mother had been worse than ever about holding onto money and to the control of it . refusing to delegate , refusing to accept her coming death . there would be no extra money in the household budget she gave them to pay for a helper . weary , she pushed away from the counter . `` what should i watch for , so i know when to call for you next ? '' `` it could go very fast , be over in a moment . '' the doc frowned , buttoned his coat , his deep tenor layered with sadness . it must be hard to give this kind of sad news . `` or she could linger for a few more days . she 's having difficulty breathing , and her heartbeat is irregular . those are signs the end is near . you call me anytime you want to , aumaleigh . you do n't question it , you just send one of your men riding for me , even if it 's in the wee hours of the night . '' aumaleigh winced , doing her best to hold back her emotions . she appreciated the doc more than he knew . i know you 're missing the montgomery 's party . '' `` truth is , i do n't much mind . '' doc winked , heading toward the door , medical bag in hand . `` you know i like to play my fiddle for the social events in this town , but i do n't always get along with nora . if it was one of her son 's birthdays or something , i 'd be there . but as it is , i 'm happier working . are you sure you do n't need anything else ? '' `` i 'm good , doc . '' she saw him to the door , held it open as he ambled through , gave him a wave as he strode across the porch . melting snow tinkled and chimed , merry as a melody while the sun blazed with a summer 's heat . crazy weather . she shook her head , closed the door and checked on the china pot of steeping tea . looked done , just the way mother liked it . she loaded the tea tray , her mind drifting .	[["firm", 8], ["velvet", 17], ["soft", 22], ["caress", 29], ["kiss", 41], ["kisses", 41], ["kissest", 41], ["sizzle", 49], ["sizzles", 49], ["sizzled", 49], ["along", 55], ["lip", 64], ["lipped", 64], ["lips", 64], ["cling", 78], ["barely", 94], ["able", 99], ["abled", 99], ["breathes", 110], ["unable", 119], ["unabled", 119], ["move", 127], ["mesmerize", 140], ["mesmerizes", 140], ["mesmerized", 140], ["sensation", 157], ["heart", 170], ["come", 177], ["coming", 177], ["alive", 183], ["way", 191], ["ways", 191], ["never", 204], ["depth", 231], ["commitment", 245], ["feel", 254], ["felt", 254], ["devotion", 269], ["knit", 278], ["knits", 278], ["knitted", 278], ["knitting", 278], ["soul", 292], ["lift", 309], ["lifted", 309], ["stood", 341], ["stand", 341], ["standest", 341], ["silence", 352], ["gaze", 359], ["gazes", 359], ["gazing", 359], ["eye", 383], ["eyed", 383], ["eyes", 383], ["surround", 396], ["surrounded", 396], ["sunlight", 408], ["sprang", 418], ["sprung", 418], ["spring", 418], ["return", 427], ["returnest", 427], ["returned", 427], ["world", 440], ["around", 447], ["draw", 463], ["draws", 463], ["drawn", 463], ["drew", 463], ["slow", 473], ["breath", 480], ["breathest", 480], ["moment", 508], ["end", 515], ["ends", 515], ["endest", 515], ["come", 525], ["sunshine", 541], ["pull", 556], ["pulled", 556], ["snug", 565], ["snugged", 565], ["snugging", 565], ["fold", 587], ["folding", 587], ["powerful", 612], ["chest", 618], ["sigh", 631], ["sighest", 631], ["sighed", 631], ["burrow", 643], ["burrowing", 643], ["let", 675], ["lets", 675], ["go", 682], ["goest", 682], ["nothing", 692], ["sweet", 704], ["arm", 727], ["arms", 727], ["cheek", 739], ["cheeks", 739], ["press", 747], ["pressed", 747], ["coat", 764], ["listen", 776], ["listens", 776], ["listening", 776], ["reliable", 792], ["reliables", 792], ["thump", 798], ["thumps", 798], ["yes", 817], ["spend", 851], ["spends", 851], ["spendest", 851], ["forever", 859], ["possible", 886], ["hold", 900], ["held", 900], ["hold", 930], ["holding", 930], ["let", 962], ["lets", 962], ["letting", 962], ["take", 988], ["took", 988], ["empty", 998], ["tea", 1002], ["teas", 1002], ["cup", 1006], ["doc", 1015], ["hartwell", 1024], ["carry", 1036], ["carried", 1036], ["wash", 1056], ["basin", 1062], ["step", 1080], ["steps", 1080], ["give", 1085], ["gave", 1085], ["compose", 1109], ["look", 1128], ["physician", 1145], ["physicians", 1145], ["weather", 1158], ["weathered", 1158], ["face", 1163], ["tell", 1168], ["told", 1168], ["exactly", 1180], ["fear", 1196], ["fearest", 1196], ["feared", 1196], ["surprise", 1213], ["surprised", 1213], ["day", 1227], ["long", 1243], ["longs", 1243], ["time", 1248], ["mother", 1264], ["mothered", 1264], ["motherest", 1264], ["suffer", 1283], ["suffering", 1283], ["waste", 1300], ["wasting", 1300], ["disease", 1308], ["two", 1316], ["twos", 1316], ["decade", 1324], ["decades", 1324], ["still", 1340], ["hard", 1359], ["take", 1367], ["set", 1377], ["saucer", 1388], ["clink", 1406], ["clinking", 1406], ["house", 1467], ["fortify", 1479], ["fortified", 1479], ["fortifying", 1479], ["much", 1500], ["strength", 1509], ["right", 1542], ["rightest", 1542], ["check", 1568], ["often", 1586], ["small", 1592], ["stroke", 1600], ["strokes", 1600], ["precursor", 1616], ["bad", 1635], ["worse", 1635], ["boot", 1657], ["boots", 1657], ["knell", 1665], ["knelled", 1665], ["slowly", 1672], ["hardwood", 1688], ["hardwoods", 1688], ["close", 1704], ["closer", 1704], ["voice", 1712], ["low", 1716], ["lowed", 1716], ["word", 1731], ["words", 1731], ["carry", 1745], ["upstairs", 1754], ["lay", 1771], ["lie", 1771], ["lain", 1771], ["rest", 1779], ["resting", 1779], ["old", 1791], ["gentleman", 1801], ["wreathe", 1818], ["wreathed", 1818], ["wreathes", 1818], ["compassion", 1832], ["must", 1846], ["musts", 1846], ["prepare", 1854], ["afraid", 1880], ["fight", 1900], ["fightest", 1900], ["fought", 1900], ["throat", 1936], ["choke", 1943], ["choked", 1943], ["cut", 1960], ["cutting", 1960], ["surge", 1984], ["raw", 1991], ["horrible", 2002], ["grief", 2008], ["roll", 2015], ["rolled", 2015], ["flood", 2029], ["drive", 2049], ["driving", 2049], ["every", 2059], ["feeling", 2073], ["matter", 2093], ["mattering", 2093], ["impossible", 2129], ["deal", 2137], ["love", 2160], ["loved", 2160], ["woman", 2179], ["womans", 2179], ["cost", 2192], ["close", 2217], ["closed", 2217], ["hot", 2242], ["seep", 2247], ["tear", 2256], ["teared", 2256], ["tears", 2256], ["give", 2287], ["upright", 2324], ["grab", 2335], ["grabbing", 2335], ["counter", 2347], ["support", 2359], ["keep", 2374], ["keepest", 2374], ["comfortable", 2390], ["calm", 2404], ["calms", 2404], ["know", 2413], ["knowest", 2413], ["maureen", 2439], ["important", 2463], ["left", 2476], ["leave", 2476], ["laudanum", 2490], ["corner", 2504], ["table", 2517], ["tabled", 2517], ["tabling", 2517], ["tone", 2540], ["toned", 2540], ["toning", 2540], ["soften", 2549], ["softens", 2549], ["softened", 2549], ["work", 2570], ["wrought", 2570], ["working", 2570], ["care", 2600], ["caring", 2600], ["perhaps", 2618], ["hire", 2631], ["help", 2647], ["helpest", 2647], ["last", 2661], ["little", 2668], ["bit", 2672], ["bits", 2672], ["wear", 2692], ["health", 2709], ["healths", 2709], ["good", 2730], ["advice", 2737], ["thank", 2745], ["thanks", 2745], ["thankest", 2745], ["wearily", 2766], ["shake", 2772], ["shook", 2772], ["head", 2781], ["ever", 2815], ["everest", 2815], ["onto", 2834], ["ontos", 2834], ["money", 2840], ["moneys", 2840], ["control", 2859], ["refuse", 2876], ["refusing", 2876], ["delegate", 2888], ["accept", 2909], ["death", 2926], ["extra", 2952], ["extras", 2952], ["household", 2975], ["budget", 2982], ["budgeting", 2982], ["pay", 3003], ["pays", 3003], ["payest", 3003], ["weary", 3024], ["push", 3037], ["pushed", 3037], ["away", 3042], ["watch", 3084], ["call", 3113], ["next", 3126], ["fast", 3156], ["frown", 3199], ["frowns", 3199], ["frowned", 3199], ["button", 3210], ["buttoning", 3210], ["buttoned", 3210], ["deep", 3230], ["deeply", 3230], ["tenor", 3236], ["layered", 3244], ["sadness", 3257], ["kind", 3293], ["sad", 3300], ["news", 3305], ["newses", 3305], ["linger", 3330], ["lingered", 3330], ["day", 3350], ["days", 3350], ["difficulty", 3377], ["breathing", 3387], ["heartbeat", 3407], ["heartbeats", 3407], ["irregular", 3420], ["sign", 3438], ["signs", 3438], ["near", 3454], ["anytime", 3476], ["question", 3522], ["send", 3541], ["man", 3557], ["mans", 3557], ["manned", 3557], ["men", 3557], ["ride", 3564], ["rode", 3564], ["riding", 3564], ["even", 3578], ["evens", 3578], ["wee", 3598], ["weest", 3598], ["hour", 3604], ["hours", 3604], ["night", 3617], ["wince", 3639], ["winced", 3639], ["good", 3656], ["best", 3656], ["hold", 3664], ["back", 3669], ["emotion", 3682], ["emotions", 3682], ["appreciate", 3700], ["appreciates", 3700], ["appreciated", 3700], ["know", 3726], ["knowest", 3726], ["knew", 3726], ["miss", 3751], ["missing", 3751], ["montgomery", 3766], ["party", 3775], ["truth", 3789], ["mind", 3813], ["minding", 3813], ["wink", 3829], ["winks", 3829], ["winkest", 3829], ["winked", 3829], ["head", 3839], ["heading", 3839], ["toward", 3846], ["door", 3855], ["medical", 3865], ["bag", 3869], ["bagged", 3869], ["bagging", 3869], ["hand", 3877], ["like", 3898], ["play", 3906], ["playest", 3906], ["fiddle", 3916], ["fiddling", 3916], ["social", 3931], ["event", 3938], ["events", 3938], ["town", 3951], ["always", 3973], ["get", 3977], ["nora", 3993], ["son", 4020], ["birthday", 4033], ["birthdays", 4033], ["happy", 4092], ["happier", 4092], ["sure", 4115], ["need", 4131], ["needest", 4131], ["anything", 4140], ["else", 4145], ["see", 4182], ["saw", 4182], ["open", 4213], ["amble", 4226], ["ambled", 4226], ["wave", 4252], ["waved", 4252], ["stride", 4265], ["stridden", 4265], ["across", 4272], ["porch", 4282], ["melt", 4292], ["meltest", 4292], ["melting", 4292], ["snow", 4297], ["tinkle", 4305], ["tinkled", 4305], ["chime", 4316], ["merry", 4324], ["melody", 4336], ["melodies", 4336], ["sun", 4350], ["suns", 4350], ["sunned", 4350], ["blaze", 4357], ["blazed", 4357], ["summer", 4371], ["summering", 4371], ["heat", 4379], ["heats", 4379], ["heated", 4379], ["crazy", 4387], ["weather", 4395], ["check", 4446], ["checked", 4446], ["china", 4459], ["pot", 4463], ["steep", 4475], ["steeps", 4475], ["steeping", 4475], ["look", 4488], ["looked", 4488], ["way", 4508], ["ways", 4508], ["like", 4521], ["liked", 4521], ["load", 4537], ["loaded", 4537], ["tray", 4550], ["trays", 4550], ["drift", 4570], ["drifting", 4570]]
what about my crew ? titov begged feebly . theyve never seen you . i will tend to them as i am tending to you . make no mistake about that , eugene growled . although i intend to make their suffering far greater . titov begged with sheer terror in his voice . ignoring his pleas eugene cupped his hands around titovs face and cocked his head to one side to observe the burly , cherubfaced fisherman . disgust brimmed and boiled beneath the surface of his skin as he regarded the loathsome human who enjoyed the rancid odor of fetid fish . then in one swift motion he snapped sasha titovs head sharply to the left , breaking his neck and severing his spinal column . an involuntary shudder passed through eugenes body as the nauseating twinkle left his exasperatingly merry eyes , replaced instead with a fixed and vacant stare . sasha titovs lifeless body lay inert , with mouth agape in horror , on the floor of the bridge . eugene trembled a moment longer , his body overcome by exhilaration . he delighted in the seconds that life escaped titov , allowed himself the privilege of lingering longer than he had with past killings . such protraction was a treat he afforded himself on rare occasions , but knew that in this instance such an indulgence was unnecessary . he did not need to savor the fishermans death as the remaining four crew members slept in cabins below . eugene would be able to take his time with them and appreciate their deaths . the thought of more murder frenzied his senses . his insides buzzed and hummed alive , teeming with fervor . eugene relished in his bodys impassioned response to the crew members who unknowingly awaited his wrath . he did not need to focus on any other aspect of his journey . fortunately for him , the vessel captained by the late sasha titov was operating on autopilot . the steering mechanism was guided by a control positioned in the helm and interfaced with the ships gps navigation system . the system did not require further interference unless he deemed it necessary . a course had been plotted by titov prior to their encounter . the automatic pilot would steer the ship on the intended course . the vessel was headed for the aleutian islands , a chain of small islands in the northern pacific ocean that separated the bering sea from the pacific ocean . once it reached the preordained destination , however , eugene would change the coordinates and head to the united states of america . as the ship headed out of the avacha bay , an inlet large enough to accommodate any ship in the world , eugene glanced out of the port hole at the horizon . tri brata , a set of three rocks at the entrance to the avacha bay , could be seen , their outline blacker than the darkness of the night sky . the usually picturesque arrangement was considered a symbol of petropavlovsk-kamchatsky . local lore suggested that they were the three brothers who went to defend the town from a tsunami and turned to stone . in the obscurity of the nightfall , the array looked sinister and foreboding . eugene smiled broadly at the dark , stony brothers ; their fate was far kinder than the one the remaining men aboard the titov would receive . eugene headed out of avacha bay past the three brothers rocky pinnacles , through the mouth of the bay past starichkov island . he was destined for alaska . once on american soil , eugene would travel to port angeles , washington and refuel . he would be at sea covering nearly one thousand nautical miles . in port angeles , washington , a hummer h1 alpha identical to the one he abandoned in petropavlovsk-kamchatsky awaited eugene . he would drive close to three thousand miles and cross through eight states to new york . he would travel a great distance before taking up residence in the rural town of stonewall in upstate new york . chapter 14 gabriel drove melissa to her home on blackstone drive . she sat in stunned silence , unable to process all that had happened . overcome by shuddering that refused to end despite the warmth of the suv , she wrapped her arms around her body . she did not glance at gabriel nor did she gaze out the window . her eyes remained fixed , staring straight ahead , but focusing on nothing . her thoughts had yet to regroup and regain a semblance of order . she continued hugging herself and gazing with unfocused eyes until gabriel pulled his explorer in to her driveway . please , let me walk you in , he said snapping her out of her trance . she did not respond verbally , but waited as gabriel climbed out , rounded the car and opened her door for her .	[["crew", 18], ["beg", 33], ["feebly", 40], ["never", 55], ["see", 60], ["seen", 60], ["tend", 78], ["tend", 102], ["tending", 102], ["mistake", 127], ["mistook", 127], ["mistaken", 127], ["eugene", 147], ["growl", 155], ["growls", 155], ["growled", 155], ["although", 166], ["intend", 175], ["intendest", 175], ["sufferings", 199], ["far", 203], ["great", 211], ["sheer", 237], ["sheering", 237], ["terror", 244], ["terrors", 244], ["voice", 257], ["ignore", 268], ["ignoring", 268], ["plea", 278], ["pleas", 278], ["cup", 292], ["cupped", 292], ["hand", 302], ["hands", 302], ["around", 309], ["face", 321], ["cock", 332], ["cockest", 332], ["cocked", 332], ["head", 341], ["side", 353], ["sidest", 353], ["observe", 364], ["burly", 374], ["fisherman", 398], ["disgust", 408], ["disgusted", 408], ["boil", 427], ["boils", 427], ["boiled", 427], ["beneath", 435], ["surface", 447], ["skin", 459], ["regard", 474], ["regarded", 474], ["loathsome", 488], ["human", 494], ["enjoy", 506], ["enjoyed", 506], ["rancid", 517], ["odor", 522], ["fetid", 531], ["fish", 536], ["fishes", 536], ["fishest", 536], ["swift", 556], ["motion", 563], ["snap", 574], ["snapping", 574], ["snapped", 574], ["sasha", 580], ["sharply", 600], ["left", 612], ["leave", 612], ["break", 623], ["broke", 623], ["breaking", 623], ["neck", 632], ["necked", 632], ["sever", 645], ["severing", 645], ["spinal", 656], ["column", 663], ["involuntary", 680], ["shudder", 688], ["shuddering", 688], ["shudderest", 688], ["pass", 695], ["passed", 695], ["eugene", 711], ["body", 716], ["bodied", 716], ["nauseate", 734], ["nauseates", 734], ["nauseating", 734], ["twinkle", 742], ["exasperatingly", 766], ["merry", 772], ["eye", 777], ["eyed", 777], ["eyes", 777], ["replace", 788], ["replaced", 788], ["instead", 796], ["vacant", 820], ["stare", 826], ["stared", 826], ["lifeless", 850], ["lay", 859], ["lie", 859], ["lain", 859], ["inert", 865], ["mouth", 878], ["mouthed", 878], ["agape", 884], ["horror", 894], ["floor", 909], ["bridge", 923], ["tremble", 941], ["trembles", 941], ["trembled", 941], ["moment", 950], ["long", 957], ["longs", 957], ["overcome", 977], ["overcame", 977], ["exhilaration", 993], ["delight", 1008], ["second", 1023], ["seconded", 1023], ["seconds", 1023], ["life", 1033], ["lifes", 1033], ["escape", 1041], ["escapes", 1041], ["escaped", 1041], ["allow", 1057], ["allowed", 1057], ["privilege", 1079], ["privileged", 1079], ["linger", 1092], ["lingered", 1092], ["lingering", 1092], ["past", 1121], ["killing", 1130], ["killings", 1130], ["protraction", 1149], ["treat", 1161], ["treats", 1161], ["treatest", 1161], ["afford", 1173], ["afforded", 1173], ["rare", 1189], ["occasion", 1199], ["occasions", 1199], ["know", 1210], ["knowest", 1210], ["knew", 1210], ["instance", 1232], ["indulgence", 1251], ["unnecessary", 1267], ["need", 1285], ["needest", 1285], ["savor", 1294], ["savoring", 1294], ["fisherman", 1309], ["death", 1315], ["remain", 1332], ["remaining", 1332], ["four", 1337], ["member", 1350], ["members", 1350], ["slept", 1356], ["sleep", 1356], ["sleeps", 1356], ["sleepest", 1356], ["cabin", 1366], ["cabins", 1366], ["able", 1395], ["abled", 1395], ["take", 1403], ["time", 1412], ["appreciate", 1437], ["appreciates", 1437], ["death", 1450], ["deaths", 1450], ["thought", 1464], ["murder", 1479], ["murderest", 1479], ["frenzy", 1488], ["frenzied", 1488], ["sense", 1499], ["senses", 1499], ["inside", 1513], ["insides", 1513], ["buzz", 1520], ["buzzes", 1520], ["buzzing", 1520], ["buzzed", 1520], ["hum", 1531], ["hummed", 1531], ["alive", 1537], ["teem", 1547], ["teeming", 1547], ["fervor", 1559], ["relish", 1577], ["relished", 1577], ["response", 1611], ["unknowingly", 1647], ["await", 1655], ["awaits", 1655], ["awaited", 1655], ["wrath", 1665], ["focus", 1692], ["aspect", 1712], ["journey", 1727], ["journeys", 1727], ["journeyed", 1727], ["journeyest", 1727], ["fortunately", 1741], ["vessel", 1762], ["captain", 1772], ["captained", 1772], ["late", 1784], ["lates", 1784], ["operate", 1810], ["operating", 1810], ["autopilot", 1823], ["autopilots", 1823], ["steering", 1838], ["mechanism", 1848], ["mechanisms", 1848], ["guide", 1859], ["guided", 1859], ["control", 1872], ["position", 1883], ["positioned", 1883], ["helm", 1895], ["helmed", 1895], ["helmest", 1895], ["interface", 1910], ["ship", 1925], ["ships", 1925], ["gp", 1929], ["navigation", 1940], ["system", 1947], ["require", 1976], ["interference", 1997], ["unless", 2004], ["unlesss", 2004], ["deem", 2014], ["deemed", 2014], ["necessary", 2027], ["course", 2038], ["plot", 2055], ["plotted", 2055], ["prior", 2070], ["encounter", 2089], ["automatic", 2105], ["automatics", 2105], ["pilot", 2111], ["steer", 2123], ["steerest", 2123], ["ship", 2132], ["intended", 2148], ["head", 2179], ["headed", 2179], ["aleutian", 2196], ["aleutians", 2196], ["island", 2204], ["islands", 2204], ["chain", 2214], ["small", 2223], ["northern", 2247], ["northernest", 2247], ["pacific", 2255], ["ocean", 2261], ["oceans", 2261], ["separate", 2276], ["separated", 2276], ["sea", 2291], ["reach", 2332], ["reached", 2332], ["destination", 2360], ["however", 2370], ["change", 2392], ["coordinate", 2408], ["coordinatest", 2408], ["coordinates", 2408], ["america", 2449], ["americas", 2449], ["bay", 2492], ["inlet", 2503], ["large", 2509], ["enough", 2516], ["accommodate", 2531], ["world", 2553], ["glance", 2570], ["glanced", 2570], ["port", 2586], ["hole", 2591], ["horizon", 2606], ["tri", 2612], ["set", 2626], ["three", 2635], ["rock", 2641], ["rocks", 2641], ["entrance", 2657], ["entrancing", 2657], ["outline", 2707], ["outlines", 2707], ["darkness", 2733], ["night", 2746], ["sky", 2750], ["usually", 2764], ["picturesque", 2776], ["arrangement", 2788], ["consider", 2803], ["considered", 2803], ["symbol", 2812], ["petropavlovsk", 2829], ["local", 2848], ["lore", 2853], ["lores", 2853], ["loring", 2853], ["suggest", 2863], ["suggested", 2863], ["brother", 2897], ["brethren", 2897], ["brothers", 2897], ["go", 2906], ["goest", 2906], ["went", 2906], ["defend", 2916], ["town", 2925], ["tsunami", 2940], ["turn", 2951], ["turned", 2951], ["stone", 2960], ["stoning", 2960], ["obscurity", 2979], ["nightfall", 2996], ["array", 3008], ["arrayed", 3008], ["look", 3015], ["looked", 3015], ["sinister", 3024], ["forebode", 3039], ["foreboding", 3039], ["smile", 3055], ["smiled", 3055], ["broadly", 3063], ["dark", 3075], ["stony", 3083], ["fate", 3105], ["kind", 3120], ["man", 3151], ["mans", 3151], ["manned", 3151], ["men", 3151], ["aboard", 3158], ["receive", 3182], ["rocky", 3246], ["pinnacle", 3256], ["pinnacling", 3256], ["pinnacles", 3256], ["island", 3310], ["destine", 3328], ["destined", 3328], ["alaska", 3339], ["american", 3358], ["americans", 3358], ["soil", 3363], ["travel", 3385], ["washington", 3414], ["refuel", 3425], ["cover", 3455], ["covering", 3455], ["nearly", 3462], ["thousand", 3475], ["nautical", 3484], ["mile", 3490], ["miles", 3490], ["alpha", 3541], ["alphas", 3541], ["identical", 3551], ["abandon", 3575], ["abandoned", 3575], ["drive", 3635], ["close", 3641], ["cross", 3675], ["crossing", 3675], ["eight", 3689], ["state", 3696], ["states", 3696], ["new", 3703], ["york", 3708], ["yorks", 3708], ["great", 3734], ["distance", 3743], ["distancing", 3743], ["take", 3757], ["taking", 3757], ["residence", 3770], ["rural", 3783], ["stonewall", 3801], ["stonewalls", 3801], ["stonewalling", 3801], ["upstate", 3812], ["chapter", 3831], ["gabriel", 3842], ["drive", 3848], ["drove", 3848], ["melissa", 3856], ["home", 3868], ["homing", 3868], ["sat", 3898], ["sit", 3898], ["silence", 3917], ["unable", 3926], ["unabled", 3926], ["process", 3937], ["happen", 3959], ["happened", 3959], ["refuse", 3997], ["refused", 3997], ["end", 4004], ["ends", 4004], ["endest", 4004], ["despite", 4012], ["warmth", 4023], ["suv", 4034], ["wrap", 4048], ["wraps", 4048], ["wrapping", 4048], ["wrapped", 4048], ["arm", 4057], ["arms", 4057], ["glance", 4094], ["gaze", 4122], ["gazes", 4122], ["window", 4137], ["windows", 4137], ["remain", 4157], ["remained", 4157], ["fix", 4163], ["fixes", 4163], ["fixed", 4163], ["stare", 4173], ["stared", 4173], ["staring", 4173], ["straight", 4182], ["ahead", 4188], ["focus", 4203], ["focusing", 4203], ["nothing", 4214], ["thought", 4229], ["thoughts", 4229], ["yet", 4237], ["regroup", 4248], ["regain", 4259], ["semblance", 4271], ["order", 4280], ["orderest", 4280], ["continue", 4296], ["continued", 4296], ["hug", 4304], ["hugging", 4304], ["gaze", 4323], ["gazes", 4323], ["gazing", 4323], ["unfocused", 4338], ["pull", 4364], ["pulled", 4364], ["explorer", 4377], ["driveway", 4396], ["let", 4411], ["lets", 4411], ["walk", 4419], ["say", 4436], ["sayest", 4436], ["said", 4436], ["snap", 4445], ["snapping", 4445], ["trance", 4467], ["respond", 4489], ["respondest", 4489], ["verbally", 4498], ["wait", 4511], ["waitest", 4511], ["waited", 4511], ["climb", 4530], ["climbed", 4530], ["round", 4544], ["rounded", 4544], ["car", 4552], ["open", 4563], ["opened", 4563], ["door", 4572]]
he 'd found out what he needed to know about creed , so there was nothing else to do now except keep watch and see what happened . did a kid show up after school ? did the climbers leave ? did anyone else come to stay at the b and b ? and if creed did n't come to trail stop often enough to be considered a regular , then league would have to come up with some way to neutralize him , which could get messy . after the breakfast bunch had cleared out and she and sherry had cleaned up , cate checked out her climbing group and saw them on their way . she did n't have anyone else coming in until the following weekend - another group of climbers - which she now realized was n't good . with the boys gone , she would have preferred to stay busy . sherry left after the cleaning was finished , and cate was alone in the house . because no one was arriving immediately , she did n't have to hurry to clean up all the rooms , but she threw herself into it with a vengeance . .after stripping the beds and getting started on the mound of laundry , she cleaned the bathrooms , vacuumed , dusted , and even cleaned the windows . then she got started on the boys ' room , which might or might not have been a good idea . it really needed cleaning , but being in there - putting away their toys , cleaning out their closets , and straightening their clothing - reminded her of their absence . she tried not to watch the clock , but she kept glancing at her watch anyway , trying to gauge where they were by the time . it was impossible , of course ; she did n't know the plane had been delayed for an hour or two , though she hoped her mother would have called her in that case , knowing she 'd be worried if she did n't receive their safe-arrival call on time . she did n't pause for lunch , because preparing something just for her did n't seem worth the effort . several times she had to sniff back tears . this felt like grief , which was silly ; she knew what grief really was . still the feeling of having lost part of herself persisted , even though her apron strings had n't been cut , just stretched a little ... if several hundred miles could be considered `` little . '' `` apron strings , my ass , '' she muttered to herself . `` more like the umbilical cord . '' and that comparison was extreme enough to make her laugh , just a little . her parents might not be fine by the end of the twins ' visit , but the boys would sail through . she 'd worked hard to make certain they felt utterly secure , which had given them the self-confidence to fly off with their grandmother for a two-week visit . they were eager to be on an airplane . they 'd flown before , of course , but they 'd been infants and did n't remember . she should be glad they were such brave little hearts . except two weeks was too long . she should have agreed to just one week . when the phone rang shortly after three , she hinged for it . `` we made it , '' her mother said , sounding exhausted . was there any trouble ? `` `` everything 's great ; there were n't any problems . they loved pushing the luggage cart . they loved watching the planes take off and land . they loved the tiny bathroom , which they both had to use . the pilots stopped by to talk to them before takeoff , and both boys now have a set of wings , which they have n't taken off . '' they would probably still be wearing those wings when they came home , cate thought , tears sparkling in her eyes even as she smiled at the thought . `` the first thing they saw when we got home was the riding lawn mower , '' her mother continued . `` your father is out there now with both of them in his lap , riding them around and around . the blades are disengaged , '' she added . cate could remember riding with her father on the lawn mower , and she got a mushy feeling around her heart knowing that now he was doing that with her children . `` so now you can stop sniffling , '' sheila said . `` they 're not only having a blast , they 've exhausted me and are now working on your father , which should give you a nice warm sense of revenge . '' `` it does , '' cate admitted . do you want me to send pictures ? we 've already taken a bunch . '' `` no , it takes too long for them to download , since i just have dial-up . print them out and bring copies when you come back . '' how did you do today ? '' `` been cleaning like a maniac . '' now that yon have afternoons free , go get your hair done . '' cate laughed , and for the first time truly realized she could get a haircut . a trim , at least , would n't cost all that much , and she desperately needed one . `` spend some time on yourself . paint your toenails . '' that night teague met with toxtel and goss again .	[["find", 11], ["found", 11], ["need", 30], ["needest", 30], ["needed", 30], ["know", 38], ["knowest", 38], ["creed", 50], ["nothing", 73], ["else", 78], ["except", 95], ["keep", 100], ["keepest", 100], ["watch", 106], ["see", 114], ["happen", 128], ["happened", 128], ["kid", 140], ["show", 145], ["school", 161], ["schooling", 161], ["climber", 180], ["climbers", 180], ["left", 186], ["leave", 186], ["anyone", 199], ["come", 209], ["stay", 217], ["b", 226], ["trail", 269], ["stop", 274], ["often", 280], ["enough", 287], ["consider", 304], ["considered", 304], ["regular", 314], ["regulars", 314], ["league", 328], ["leagued", 328], ["way", 364], ["ways", 364], ["neutralize", 378], ["get", 400], ["messy", 406], ["messier", 406], ["breakfast", 428], ["bunch", 434], ["bunchest", 434], ["clear", 446], ["clearest", 446], ["cleared", 446], ["sherry", 469], ["clean", 481], ["cleans", 481], ["cleaned", 481], ["cate", 491], ["check", 499], ["checked", 499], ["climbing", 516], ["group", 522], ["see", 530], ["saw", 530], ["come", 586], ["coming", 586], ["follow", 609], ["following", 609], ["weekend", 617], ["another", 627], ["realize", 670], ["realized", 670], ["good", 683], ["boy", 699], ["boys", 699], ["go", 704], ["goest", 704], ["gone", 704], ["prefer", 731], ["prefered", 731], ["preferest", 731], ["preferred", 731], ["busy", 744], ["busied", 744], ["left", 758], ["leave", 758], ["clean", 777], ["cleans", 777], ["cleaning", 777], ["finish", 790], ["finished", 790], ["alone", 811], ["house", 824], ["arrive", 854], ["arriving", 854], ["immediately", 866], ["hurry", 894], ["hurried", 894], ["hurryed", 894], ["hurrying", 894], ["clean", 903], ["cleans", 903], ["room", 920], ["roomed", 920], ["rooms", 920], ["throw", 936], ["threw", 936], ["vengeance", 969], ["strip", 988], ["stripping", 988], ["bed", 997], ["beds", 997], ["get", 1009], ["getting", 1009], ["start", 1017], ["started", 1017], ["mound", 1030], ["laundry", 1041], ["bathroom", 1069], ["bathrooms", 1069], ["dust", 1089], ["dusting", 1089], ["dusted", 1089], ["even", 1100], ["evens", 1100], ["window", 1120], ["windows", 1120], ["get", 1135], ["got", 1135], ["room", 1162], ["roomed", 1162], ["may", 1176], ["mays", 1176], ["mayest", 1176], ["might", 1176], ["idea", 1211], ["really", 1223], ["put", 1270], ["putting", 1270], ["away", 1275], ["toy", 1286], ["toyed", 1286], ["toyest", 1286], ["toys", 1286], ["closet", 1315], ["closets", 1315], ["straighten", 1335], ["straightened", 1335], ["straightening", 1335], ["clothing", 1350], ["remind", 1361], ["reminded", 1361], ["absence", 1382], ["try", 1394], ["tryed", 1394], ["tried", 1394], ["clock", 1417], ["keep", 1432], ["keepest", 1432], ["kept", 1432], ["glance", 1441], ["glancing", 1441], ["anyway", 1461], ["try", 1470], ["tryed", 1470], ["trying", 1470], ["gauge", 1479], ["time", 1507], ["impossible", 1527], ["course", 1539], ["plane", 1568], ["delay", 1585], ["delayest", 1585], ["delayed", 1585], ["hour", 1597], ["two", 1604], ["twos", 1604], ["though", 1613], ["hope", 1623], ["hoped", 1623], ["mother", 1634], ["mothered", 1634], ["motherest", 1634], ["call", 1652], ["called", 1652], ["case", 1669], ["know", 1679], ["knowest", 1679], ["knowing", 1679], ["receive", 1720], ["safe", 1731], ["safes", 1731], ["safed", 1731], ["arrival", 1739], ["call", 1744], ["pause", 1772], ["lunch", 1782], ["lunched", 1782], ["lunches", 1782], ["prepare", 1802], ["preparing", 1802], ["seem", 1838], ["seeming", 1838], ["worth", 1844], ["effort", 1855], ["several", 1865], ["time", 1871], ["times", 1871], ["sniff", 1888], ["sniffed", 1888], ["back", 1893], ["tear", 1899], ["teared", 1899], ["tears", 1899], ["feel", 1911], ["felt", 1911], ["like", 1916], ["grief", 1922], ["silly", 1940], ["know", 1951], ["knowest", 1951], ["knew", 1951], ["still", 1981], ["feeling", 1993], ["lose", 2008], ["lost", 2008], ["part", 2013], ["parting", 2013], ["persist", 2034], ["persisted", 2034], ["apron", 2058], ["strung", 2066], ["string", 2066], ["strings", 2066], ["cut", 2083], ["stretch", 2100], ["stretched", 2100], ["little", 2109], ["hundred", 2132], ["mile", 2138], ["miles", 2138], ["ass", 2199], ["mutter", 2217], ["mutterest", 2217], ["muttering", 2217], ["muttered", 2217], ["umbilical", 2257], ["cord", 2262], ["comparison", 2287], ["extreme", 2299], ["laugh", 2324], ["parent", 2354], ["parents", 2354], ["fine", 2372], ["end", 2383], ["ends", 2383], ["endest", 2383], ["twin", 2396], ["twins", 2396], ["visit", 2404], ["sail", 2430], ["work", 2454], ["wrought", 2454], ["worked", 2454], ["hard", 2459], ["certain", 2475], ["utterly", 2493], ["secure", 2500], ["securest", 2500], ["give", 2518], ["given", 2518], ["self", 2532], ["confidence", 2543], ["fly", 2550], ["flys", 2550], ["grandmother", 2577], ["week", 2592], ["eager", 2616], ["airplane", 2637], ["fly", 2653], ["flys", 2653], ["flown", 2653], ["infant", 2699], ["infants", 2699], ["remember", 2720], ["rememberest", 2720], ["glad", 2741], ["brave", 2762], ["heart", 2776], ["hearts", 2776], ["week", 2795], ["weeks", 2795], ["long", 2808], ["longs", 2808], ["agree", 2833], ["agreed", 2833], ["phone", 2867], ["shortly", 2880], ["three", 2892], ["hinge", 2905], ["hinged", 2905], ["say", 2949], ["sayest", 2949], ["said", 2949], ["sound", 2960], ["sounding", 2960], ["exhaust", 2970], ["exhausted", 2970], ["exhausting", 2970], ["trouble", 2994], ["troubling", 2994], ["everything", 3013], ["great", 3022], ["problem", 3052], ["problems", 3052], ["love", 3065], ["loved", 3065], ["push", 3073], ["pushing", 3073], ["luggage", 3085], ["cart", 3090], ["watch", 3112], ["watching", 3112], ["plane", 3123], ["planes", 3123], ["take", 3128], ["land", 3141], ["tiny", 3163], ["bathroom", 3172], ["use", 3201], ["pilot", 3214], ["pilots", 3214], ["stop", 3222], ["stopped", 3222], ["talk", 3233], ["takeoff", 3256], ["set", 3287], ["wing", 3296], ["wings", 3296], ["take", 3324], ["taken", 3324], ["probably", 3353], ["wear", 3370], ["wearing", 3370], ["come", 3397], ["came", 3397], ["home", 3402], ["homing", 3402], ["think", 3417], ["thought", 3417], ["thinkest", 3417], ["sparkle", 3435], ["sparkling", 3435], ["eye", 3447], ["eyed", 3447], ["eyes", 3447], ["smile", 3466], ["smiled", 3466], ["first", 3496], ["firstest", 3496], ["thing", 3502], ["ride", 3543], ["rode", 3543], ["riding", 3543], ["lawn", 3548], ["lawns", 3548], ["mower", 3554], ["continue", 3580], ["continued", 3580], ["father", 3597], ["fathered", 3597], ["fathering", 3597], ["lap", 3643], ["laps", 3643], ["lapping", 3643], ["around", 3664], ["blade", 3688], ["blades", 3688], ["add", 3718], ["added", 3718], ["mushy", 3803], ["heart", 3828], ["child", 3881], ["childs", 3881], ["children", 3881], ["sniffle", 3916], ["sniffling", 3916], ["sheila", 3928], ["blast", 3971], ["work", 4015], ["wrought", 4015], ["working", 4015], ["give", 4050], ["nice", 4061], ["warm", 4066], ["sense", 4072], ["revenge", 4083], ["admit", 4118], ["admitted", 4118], ["send", 4143], ["picture", 4152], ["pictures", 4152], ["already", 4169], ["take", 4205], ["takes", 4205], ["download", 4235], ["since", 4243], ["dial", 4260], ["print", 4271], ["bring", 4290], ["copy", 4297], ["copies", 4297], ["today", 4342], ["maniac", 4378], ["maniacs", 4378], ["yon", 4396], ["afternoon", 4412], ["afternoons", 4412], ["free", 4417], ["go", 4422], ["goest", 4422], ["hair", 4436], ["laugh", 4459], ["laughed", 4459], ["truly", 4490], ["haircut", 4523], ["haircuts", 4523], ["trim", 4532], ["trimmer", 4532], ["least", 4543], ["leastest", 4543], ["cost", 4560], ["much", 4574], ["desperately", 4596], ["spend", 4618], ["spends", 4618], ["spendest", 4618], ["paint", 4648], ["toenail", 4662], ["toenailing", 4662], ["toenails", 4662], ["night", 4678], ["teague", 4685], ["meet", 4689], ["meeted", 4689], ["met", 4689], ["goss", 4710]]
`` while i am enjoying this exchange of pleasantries , '' gabriel said , seeing that henry was about to respond , `` there do remain a few-central-questions about this invention . '' henry looked at him blankly . `` i believe , henry , that he is inquiring whether this ... doorway- , '' charlotte began . `` we 've called it a portal , '' said henry . the capitalization of the word was very clear in his tone . `` whether it works , '' charlotte finished . henry looked stricken . but i assure you , our calculations are faultless . '' everyone but henry and magnus looked at the portal with refreshed alarm . `` henry ... , '' charlotte began . `` well , i think henry and magnus should go first , '' gabriel said . `` they invented the blasted thing . '' everyone turned on him . `` it 's like he 's replaced will , '' said gideon , eyebrows up . `` they say all the same sort of things . '' `` i am not like will ! '' gabriel snapped . `` i should hope not , '' said cecily , though so quietly that he wondered if anyone else had heard her . she was looking especially pretty today , though he had no idea why . she was dressed in the same plain black woman 's gear as charlotte ; her hair was secured demurely behind her head , and the ruby necklace at her throat glowed against her skin . however , gabriel reminded himself sternly , since they were most likely about to direct themselves all into mortal danger , thinking about whether cecily was pretty ought not to be foremost on his mind . he told himself to stop immediately . `` i am nothing like will herondale , '' he repeated . `` i am perfectly willing to go through first , '' magnus said , with the long-suffering air of a schoolmaster in a room full of ill-behaved schoolboys . `` there are a few things i need . we are hoping tessa will be there ; will may be also ; i should like some extra gear and weapons to bring through . i plan , of course , to wait for you on the other side , but should there be any-unexpected developments , it is always good to prepare . '' `` yes-of course . '' she glanced down for a moment . `` i can not believe no one has come to assist us . i thought , after my letter , at least a few- '' she broke off , swallowing , and raised her chin . `` let me get sophie . she can put together the things you need , magnus . and she and cyril and bridget are meant to join us shortly . '' she vanished up the steps , henry looking after her with worried fondness . gabriel could not blame him . it was obviously a severe blow to charlotte that no one had answered her call and come to aid them , though he could have told her they would not . people were intrinsically selfish , and many hated the idea of a woman in charge of the institute . they would not put themselves at risk for her . only a few weeks ago he would have said the same thing about himself . now , knowing charlotte , he realized to his surprise , the idea of risking himself for her seemed an honor , as it would be to most englishmen to risk themselves for the queen . `` how does one make the portal work ? '' cecily asked , glancing at the glowing archway as if it were a painting in a gallery , her dark head cocked to the side . `` it will transport you instantly from one place to another , '' said henry . `` but the trick is-well , that part is magic . '' he said the word a little nervously . `` you need to be picturing the place you 're going to , '' said magnus . `` it wo n't work to take you to a place you have never been and can not imagine . in this case , to get to cadair idris , we are going to need cecily . cecily , how close to cadair idris do you believe you can bring us ? '' `` to the very top , '' cecily said confidently . `` there are several paths that will bring you up the mountain , and i have walked two of them with my father . i can remember the crest of the mountain . '' `` excellent , '' henry said . `` cecily , you will stand before the portal and visualize our destination- '' `` but she 's not going first , is she ? '' the moment the words were out of his mouth , he was startled . he had n't meant to say them . ah , well , in for a penny , in for a pound , though , he thought . `` i meant : she is the least trained of us all ; it would n't be safe . '' `` i can go through first , '' cecily said , looking as if she were not in the least grateful for gabriel 's support . `` i see no reason why- '' `` henry ! ''	[["enjoy", 22], ["enjoyed", 22], ["enjoying", 22], ["exchange", 36], ["pleasantry", 52], ["pleasantries", 52], ["gabriel", 65], ["say", 70], ["sayest", 70], ["said", 70], ["see", 79], ["seeing", 79], ["henry", 90], ["respond", 111], ["respondest", 111], ["remain", 132], ["central", 146], ["question", 156], ["questions", 156], ["invention", 177], ["inventions", 177], ["look", 195], ["looked", 195], ["blankly", 210], ["believe", 225], ["inquire", 256], ["inquiring", 256], ["whether", 264], ["charlotte", 297], ["begin", 303], ["began", 303], ["call", 322], ["called", 322], ["portal", 334], ["capitalization", 371], ["capitalizations", 371], ["word", 383], ["clear", 398], ["clearest", 398], ["tone", 410], ["toned", 410], ["toning", 410], ["work", 432], ["wrought", 432], ["works", 432], ["finish", 456], ["finished", 456], ["stricken", 480], ["assure", 495], ["calculation", 518], ["calculations", 518], ["faultless", 532], ["everyone", 546], ["magnus", 567], ["alarm", 609], ["well", 655], ["wells", 655], ["think", 665], ["thinkest", 665], ["go", 692], ["goest", 692], ["first", 698], ["firstest", 698], ["invent", 735], ["inventest", 735], ["invented", 735], ["blast", 747], ["blasted", 747], ["thing", 753], ["turn", 774], ["turned", 774], ["like", 797], ["replace", 812], ["replaced", 812], ["gideon", 834], ["eyebrow", 845], ["eyebrows", 845], ["say", 862], ["sayest", 862], ["sort", 880], ["thing", 890], ["things", 890], ["snap", 938], ["snapping", 938], ["snapped", 938], ["hope", 957], ["cecily", 978], ["though", 987], ["quietly", 998], ["wonder", 1015], ["wonderest", 1015], ["wondered", 1015], ["anyone", 1025], ["else", 1030], ["hear", 1040], ["hears", 1040], ["heard", 1040], ["look", 1062], ["looking", 1062], ["especially", 1073], ["pretty", 1080], ["prettiest", 1080], ["today", 1086], ["idea", 1110], ["dress", 1132], ["dressest", 1132], ["dressed", 1132], ["plain", 1150], ["plains", 1150], ["black", 1156], ["woman", 1162], ["womans", 1162], ["gear", 1170], ["hair", 1194], ["secure", 1206], ["securest", 1206], ["secured", 1206], ["demurely", 1215], ["behind", 1222], ["head", 1231], ["ruby", 1246], ["necklace", 1255], ["necklacing", 1255], ["throat", 1269], ["glow", 1276], ["glowest", 1276], ["glowed", 1276], ["skin", 1293], ["however", 1303], ["remind", 1322], ["reminded", 1322], ["sternly", 1338], ["since", 1346], ["direct", 1384], ["mortal", 1411], ["danger", 1418], ["think", 1429], ["thinkest", 1429], ["thinking", 1429], ["ought", 1467], ["foremost", 1486], ["mind", 1498], ["minding", 1498], ["tell", 1508], ["told", 1508], ["stop", 1524], ["immediately", 1536], ["nothing", 1554], ["repeat", 1591], ["repeatest", 1591], ["repeated", 1591], ["perfectly", 1611], ["willing", 1619], ["long", 1672], ["longs", 1672], ["suffer", 1682], ["suffering", 1682], ["air", 1686], ["airs", 1686], ["airing", 1686], ["schoolmaster", 1704], ["room", 1714], ["roomed", 1714], ["full", 1719], ["ill", 1726], ["ills", 1726], ["illest", 1726], ["schoolboy", 1745], ["schoolboys", 1745], ["need", 1780], ["needest", 1780], ["hope", 1796], ["hoping", 1796], ["tessa", 1802], ["may", 1827], ["mays", 1827], ["mayest", 1827], ["also", 1835], ["extra", 1862], ["extras", 1862], ["weapon", 1879], ["weapons", 1879], ["bring", 1888], ["plan", 1905], ["course", 1917], ["wait", 1927], ["waitest", 1927], ["side", 1953], ["sidest", 1953], ["unexpected", 1990], ["development", 2003], ["developments", 2003], ["always", 2018], ["good", 2023], ["prepare", 2034], ["yes", 2046], ["glance", 2073], ["glanced", 2073], ["moment", 2091], ["come", 2130], ["assist", 2140], ["assists", 2140], ["think", 2155], ["thinkest", 2155], ["thought", 2155], ["letter", 2173], ["lettering", 2173], ["least", 2184], ["leastest", 2184], ["break", 2204], ["broke", 2204], ["swallow", 2221], ["swallows", 2221], ["swallowing", 2221], ["raise", 2234], ["raised", 2234], ["chin", 2243], ["let", 2252], ["lets", 2252], ["get", 2259], ["put", 2280], ["together", 2289], ["cyril", 2338], ["bridget", 2350], ["mean", 2360], ["meanest", 2360], ["meant", 2360], ["join", 2368], ["joinest", 2368], ["shortly", 2379], ["vanish", 2397], ["vanishest", 2397], ["vanished", 2397], ["step", 2410], ["steps", 2410], ["fondness", 2458], ["blame", 2484], ["blamest", 2484], ["obviously", 2507], ["severe", 2516], ["blew", 2521], ["blow", 2521], ["blowest", 2521], ["answer", 2559], ["answeres", 2559], ["answerest", 2559], ["answered", 2559], ["call", 2568], ["aid", 2584], ["aids", 2584], ["people", 2645], ["intrinsically", 2664], ["selfish", 2672], ["selfishest", 2672], ["many", 2683], ["hate", 2689], ["hateed", 2689], ["hated", 2689], ["charge", 2719], ["institute", 2736], ["institutes", 2736], ["risk", 2776], ["riskest", 2776], ["week", 2803], ["weeks", 2803], ["ago", 2807], ["know", 2871], ["knowest", 2871], ["knowing", 2871], ["realize", 2895], ["realized", 2895], ["surprise", 2911], ["surprised", 2911], ["risk", 2933], ["riskest", 2933], ["risking", 2933], ["seem", 2956], ["seeming", 2956], ["seemed", 2956], ["honor", 2965], ["englishman", 3001], ["englishmen", 3001], ["queen", 3034], ["queens", 3034], ["queenest", 3034], ["queening", 3034], ["work", 3073], ["wrought", 3073], ["ask", 3091], ["asked", 3091], ["glance", 3102], ["glancing", 3102], ["glowing", 3117], ["archway", 3125], ["painting", 3150], ["gallery", 3163], ["dark", 3174], ["cock", 3186], ["cockest", 3186], ["cocked", 3186], ["transport", 3221], ["instantly", 3235], ["place", 3250], ["another", 3261], ["trick", 3296], ["part", 3316], ["parting", 3316], ["magic", 3325], ["little", 3356], ["nervously", 3366], ["picture", 3396], ["picturing", 3396], ["go", 3420], ["goest", 3420], ["going", 3420], ["wo", 3451], ["take", 3468], ["never", 3498], ["imagine", 3523], ["case", 3538], ["close", 3614], ["top", 3686], ["confidently", 3715], ["several", 3738], ["path", 3744], ["paths", 3744], ["mountain", 3780], ["walk", 3800], ["walked", 3800], ["two", 3804], ["twos", 3804], ["father", 3827], ["fathered", 3827], ["fathering", 3827], ["remember", 3844], ["rememberest", 3844], ["crest", 3854], ["excellent", 3888], ["stood", 3933], ["stand", 3933], ["standest", 3933], ["visualize", 3965], ["visualizes", 3965], ["word", 4050], ["words", 4050], ["mouth", 4072], ["mouthed", 4072], ["ah", 4126], ["penny", 4150], ["pound", 4167], ["train", 4229], ["trained", 4229], ["safe", 4262], ["safes", 4262], ["safed", 4262], ["grateful", 4361], ["support", 4384], ["see", 4395], ["reason", 4405], ["reasonest", 4405]]
he braced for another assault , but it did n't come . he lay there breathing through his mouth because his nose did n't work anymore . he sat up , trying to stanch the flow of blood from his nose . a couple of the other boys were holding michael back . the homecoming king was ranting and cursing and spouting a lot of hate . justin polk turned toward michael . michael stopped yelling . `` you know , you 're a moron , bennett , '' justin said . `` you have to be crazy to dis chief rhodes 's daughter . and , to be honest , what just came out of your mouth disgusts me . '' justin turned away and came over to david . `` we 're not all like him , '' he said , offering a hand . david did n't take justin 's hand . he climbed to his feet on his own . lizzy came over and put her arm around david . his nose was hurting , but somehow it felt a lot better with lizzy 's arm around his shoulder . then lizzy burst his bubble when she said , `` oh , my god , i think he broke your nose . you 're going to have black eyes . we need to get you some ice . '' justin handed her a cold beer . `` put this on the bridge of his nose . `` thank you , justin , '' lizzy said . `` you 've just restored my faith in the davis high football team . '' `` c'mon , we need to get back to town . '' they got halfway to the path before lizzy stopped and turned . `` hey , michael , '' she said . `` we found your hat . we know where you 've been and what you 've done . so you watch your step . '' she turned and took david 's hand and led him from the woods . `` why 'd you taunt michael like that ? i mean , we won the fight . '' `` so , okay , justin stopped the fight . '' `` i just decided i should use my leverage . those boys are terrified that i 'm going to snitch on them . daddy does n't tolerate underage drinking . '' but you are n't going to tell on them , are you ? '' i mean , what if michael 's hat is an important clue ? and besides , michael is a bigot . i really wish i were bigger . if i were , i would have tried to tackle michael like you did . that was pretty brave of you . '' david did n't feel very brave . mostly he felt stupid . stone wrapped his hands around his mug of coffee and gazed through the kountry kitchen 's tinsel-draped windows . he could just see the cut 'n curl across the street . he 'd patrolled through the center of town five times this morning hoping that he might catch just a glimpse of lark . but she must be sleeping in this morning . her car was still in the parking lot out back . he stared into his coffee as his mind turned back to the feel of lark 's lips against his . he got that feeling in the pit of his stomach-like he was free-falling . he wanted to take lark up on her offer , even if she was planning to leave town in a few days . he did n't want to be sitting here a year from now wondering about a chance not taken . he flattened his hand on the formica and studied the faded skin on his ring finger . he suddenly wished he 'd taken his wedding band off last summer . the white line was an unwanted reminder that he 'd been with only one woman his entire life . how the hell was he supposed to get what he wanted when he was so inexperienced at this kind of thing ? he 'd never had any casual relationships with women before . he felt like a complete and utter fool . he was n't used to feeling so humbled and so unsure and so incompetent . someone gave him a quick pat on the shoulder . he looked up to find his sister-in-law jane sliding into the seat next to him . `` ruby sent me over here to get something to eat . i was feeling sick . '' she gave him one of her goofy-sweet smiles and then hailed ricki , the waitress . jane ordered a bowl of oatmeal , even though it was almost lunchtime . `` so , are you spying on lizzy ? '' `` she 's sitting in the back booth with that boyfriend of hers . she 's hiding behind a menu , and he 's trying to look nonchalant . which is kind of difficult because he 's holding a bag of ice on his nose . my theory is that the kid decided to ride his bike on an icy road and paid the price . '' stone blinked and refocused his gaze toward the back of the room . sure enough , his teenaged daughter was back there not very successfully hiding . `` aaaah , teenaged love , '' jane said dramatically .	[["brace", 9], ["braced", 9], ["another", 21], ["assault", 29], ["come", 51], ["lay", 60], ["lie", 60], ["lain", 60], ["breathe", 76], ["breathes", 76], ["mouth", 94], ["mouthed", 94], ["nose", 111], ["nosed", 111], ["nosing", 111], ["work", 124], ["wrought", 124], ["anymore", 132], ["sat", 141], ["sit", 141], ["try", 153], ["tryed", 153], ["trying", 153], ["stanch", 163], ["flow", 172], ["flows", 172], ["blood", 181], ["bloods", 181], ["blooded", 181], ["couple", 206], ["boy", 224], ["boys", 224], ["hold", 237], ["holding", 237], ["michael", 245], ["back", 250], ["homecoming", 267], ["king", 272], ["rant", 284], ["ranting", 284], ["curse", 296], ["cursed", 296], ["cursing", 296], ["spout", 309], ["spouts", 309], ["spoutest", 309], ["spouting", 309], ["lot", 315], ["hateed", 323], ["justin", 332], ["polk", 337], ["turn", 344], ["turned", 344], ["toward", 351], ["stop", 377], ["stopped", 377], ["yell", 385], ["yelling", 385], ["know", 399], ["knowest", 399], ["moron", 417], ["morons", 417], ["bennett", 427], ["say", 444], ["sayest", 444], ["said", 444], ["crazy", 470], ["dis", 477], ["chief", 483], ["chiefs", 483], ["daughter", 502], ["honest", 523], ["come", 540], ["came", 540], ["disgust", 567], ["disgusted", 567], ["disgusts", 567], ["away", 594], ["david", 617], ["davids", 617], ["like", 642], ["offer", 670], ["hand", 677], ["take", 698], ["climb", 726], ["climbed", 726], ["foot", 738], ["feet", 738], ["lizzy", 757], ["put", 775], ["arm", 783], ["around", 790], ["hurt", 819], ["hurts", 819], ["hurting", 819], ["somehow", 833], ["feel", 841], ["felt", 841], ["well", 854], ["wells", 854], ["shoulder", 892], ["shouldered", 892], ["burst", 911], ["bursted", 911], ["bubble", 922], ["oh", 944], ["god", 953], ["think", 963], ["thinkest", 963], ["break", 972], ["broke", 972], ["go", 998], ["goest", 998], ["going", 998], ["black", 1012], ["eye", 1017], ["eyed", 1017], ["eyes", 1017], ["need", 1027], ["needest", 1027], ["get", 1034], ["ice", 1047], ["iced", 1047], ["hand", 1066], ["handed", 1066], ["cold", 1077], ["beer", 1082], ["bridge", 1110], ["thank", 1133], ["thanks", 1133], ["thankest", 1133], ["restore", 1189], ["restored", 1189], ["faith", 1198], ["faiths", 1198], ["high", 1216], ["football", 1225], ["team", 1230], ["teamed", 1230], ["teaming", 1230], ["come", 1242], ["town", 1274], ["get", 1288], ["got", 1288], ["halfway", 1296], ["halfways", 1296], ["path", 1308], ["hey", 1349], ["find", 1387], ["found", 1387], ["hat", 1396], ["hatting", 1396], ["watch", 1462], ["step", 1472], ["take", 1497], ["took", 1497], ["lead", 1519], ["leaded", 1519], ["led", 1519], ["wood", 1538], ["woods", 1538], ["taunt", 1560], ["taunting", 1560], ["tauntest", 1560], ["mean", 1587], ["meanest", 1587], ["win", 1596], ["fight", 1606], ["fightest", 1606], ["okay", 1624], ["decide", 1674], ["decided", 1674], ["use", 1687], ["leverage", 1699], ["leveraged", 1699], ["snitch", 1752], ["daddy", 1768], ["tolerate", 1786], ["underage", 1795], ["underaged", 1795], ["tell", 1839], ["important", 1910], ["clue", 1915], ["clues", 1915], ["besides", 1929], ["bigot", 1950], ["really", 1961], ["wish", 1966], ["big", 1980], ["bigs", 1980], ["bigger", 1980], ["try", 2013], ["tryed", 2013], ["tried", 2013], ["tackle", 2023], ["tackles", 2023], ["tackling", 2023], ["pretty", 2062], ["prettiest", 2062], ["brave", 2068], ["feel", 2099], ["mostly", 2119], ["stupid", 2134], ["stone", 2142], ["stoning", 2142], ["wrap", 2150], ["wraps", 2150], ["wrapping", 2150], ["wrapped", 2150], ["hand", 2160], ["hands", 2160], ["mug", 2175], ["coffee", 2185], ["gaze", 2195], ["gazes", 2195], ["gazed", 2195], ["kitchen", 2223], ["kitchens", 2223], ["tinsel", 2233], ["drape", 2240], ["drapes", 2240], ["draped", 2240], ["window", 2248], ["windows", 2248], ["see", 2268], ["cut", 2276], ["n", 2279], ["curl", 2284], ["curls", 2284], ["curled", 2284], ["across", 2291], ["street", 2302], ["patrol", 2320], ["patrolled", 2320], ["center", 2339], ["five", 2352], ["fived", 2352], ["time", 2358], ["times", 2358], ["morning", 2371], ["hope", 2378], ["hoping", 2378], ["may", 2392], ["mays", 2392], ["mayest", 2392], ["might", 2392], ["catch", 2398], ["catches", 2398], ["catched", 2398], ["glimpse", 2413], ["glimpses", 2413], ["lark", 2421], ["larks", 2421], ["must", 2436], ["musts", 2436], ["slept", 2448], ["sleep", 2448], ["sleeps", 2448], ["sleepest", 2448], ["sleeping", 2448], ["car", 2474], ["still", 2484], ["parking", 2499], ["stare", 2524], ["stared", 2524], ["mind", 2552], ["minding", 2552], ["lip", 2592], ["lipped", 2592], ["lips", 2592], ["feel", 2626], ["feeling", 2626], ["pit", 2637], ["stomach", 2652], ["stomachs", 2652], ["stomaching", 2652], ["free", 2669], ["fall", 2677], ["falls", 2677], ["falling", 2677], ["offer", 2718], ["even", 2725], ["evens", 2725], ["plan", 2745], ["left", 2754], ["leave", 2754], ["day", 2773], ["days", 2773], ["sat", 2805], ["sit", 2805], ["sitting", 2805], ["year", 2817], ["wonder", 2836], ["wonderest", 2836], ["wondering", 2836], ["chance", 2851], ["chanced", 2851], ["chancing", 2851], ["take", 2861], ["taken", 2861], ["flatten", 2876], ["flattens", 2876], ["flattened", 2876], ["formica", 2900], ["study", 2912], ["studied", 2912], ["skin", 2927], ["rung", 2939], ["rang", 2939], ["ring", 2939], ["finger", 2946], ["suddenly", 2960], ["wish", 2967], ["wished", 2967], ["wedding", 2991], ["band", 2996], ["last", 3005], ["summer", 3012], ["summering", 3012], ["white", 3024], ["line", 3029], ["unwanted", 3045], ["reminder", 3054], ["woman", 3090], ["womans", 3090], ["entire", 3101], ["life", 3106], ["lifes", 3106], ["hell", 3121], ["hells", 3121], ["suppose", 3137], ["supposed", 3137], ["kind", 3201], ["thing", 3210], ["never", 3224], ["casual", 3239], ["relationship", 3253], ["relationships", 3253], ["woman", 3264], ["womans", 3264], ["women", 3264], ["complete", 3297], ["utter", 3307], ["uttered", 3307], ["uttering", 3307], ["fool", 3312], ["foolest", 3312], ["fooling", 3312], ["use", 3330], ["used", 3330], ["unsure", 3366], ["unsured", 3366], ["incompetent", 3385], ["give", 3400], ["gave", 3400], ["quick", 3412], ["pat", 3416], ["look", 3444], ["looked", 3444], ["find", 3455], ["sister", 3466], ["law", 3473], ["jane", 3478], ["janes", 3478], ["slid", 3486], ["sliding", 3486], ["seat", 3500], ["next", 3505], ["ruby", 3522], ["send", 3527], ["sent", 3527], ["eat", 3564], ["sick", 3585], ["goofy", 3620], ["sweet", 3626], ["smile", 3633], ["smiles", 3633], ["hail", 3649], ["hailing", 3649], ["hailed", 3649], ["ricki", 3655], ["waitress", 3670], ["order", 3685], ["orderest", 3685], ["ordered", 3685], ["bowl", 3692], ["bowling", 3692], ["oatmeal", 3703], ["though", 3717], ["almost", 3731], ["lunchtime", 3741], ["spy", 3766], ["spying", 3766], ["booth", 3816], ["boyfriend", 3836], ["hide", 3860], ["hides", 3860], ["behind", 3867], ["menu", 3874], ["menus", 3874], ["look", 3901], ["nonchalant", 3912], ["difficult", 3941], ["bag", 3969], ["bagged", 3969], ["bagging", 3969], ["theory", 4000], ["kid", 4016], ["ride", 4032], ["rode", 4032], ["bike", 4041], ["biking", 4041], ["icy", 4051], ["road", 4056], ["pay", 4065], ["pays", 4065], ["payest", 4065], ["paid", 4065], ["price", 4075], ["blink", 4094], ["blinked", 4094], ["refocus", 4108], ["gaze", 4117], ["gazes", 4117], ["room", 4145], ["roomed", 4145], ["sure", 4152], ["enough", 4159], ["teenage", 4174], ["teenaged", 4174], ["successfully", 4220], ["love", 4254], ["dramatically", 4282]]
that intoxicating flavor is my spit , albain . the caramel is sweet , intoxicating , and the macadamia chunks add a little something more . some spice to the relationship as it were . gives it a nice texture . capucine said as she looked over at albain , and had the naughty thought of grabbing him by his tie and pulling him in for a kiss . she shook her head wondering what the hell was wrong with her . her thought processes were like a teenager , who was drunk at a house party . ambrose looked pleased by the judges responses . levi looked stoic . what the judges didnt know was that ambrose had spit into the caramel adding a bit of ambrosia to the caramel , which gave it an intoxicating flavor . the judges would feel their inhibitions leaving them , and feel like doing something wild as a result . feeling slightly lightheaded , the judges made their way to team 2s cooking station . the judges looked down at the plate of white and dark swans sitting in elaborate nests . capucine clapped her hands delightedly . the swans even form a heart once theyre sitting next to each other . and the nests are amazingthey look real . they look nice and very professional . albain agreed . i like that you chose the swan for the chocolates shape . its a very classic and romantic symbol . i also like the idea of mixing up the white and dark swansas you said before its reminiscent of star-crossed love . capucine continued . carmen beamed . it may be a star-crossed lovebut theres hope that in the end theyll be together . the singer clasped her hands before her with a dreamy look on her face . raphael couldnt help but flick the tip of carmens nose with his thumb and index finger . carmen snapped . raphael cleared his throat and gave carmen a warning look . she smiled sheepishly back at him . the judges each picked up a swan , bit into them , and chewed thoughtfully . their glassy-eyed , hazy look vanished and dopey smiles formed on their faces . all of a sudden the judges were feeling very hopeful . the flavor of the white chocolate is nice . not too sweet as can sometimes happen with white chocolate . capucine began . and i feelhopeful . hopeful for that star-crossed love you were talking about , carmen . the dark chocolate is a little plain . i wanted to be surprised by a filling of some kind , but other than that - well done . i can also feel the hopefulness expressed in this chocolate . maybe i should ask capucine out on a date . it might actually go wellyou never know . shed wanted to make a filling too , but with raphaels ocdness - she knew they wouldnt have had enough time . it took raphael twice as long to do anything because each move he made had to be perfect . the ingredients had to be effectively measured , the decorations had to be made with precision , and everything had to be arranged in groups of three or at right angles . the judges approached team 3s station next . the patissier and food critic looked down at the plate of chocolate-covered cherries with zigzags of red icing , tiny white and red hearts , and smiled . capucine complimented . it reminds me of valentines day . i like the red color . it really makes me think of cherries . the judges picked up a bonbon each , and plopped it into their mouths . they began to chew , which released the sweet cream fondant into their mouths and cherry bits . the two judges both groaned in delight . however , after the judges had finished the chocolates their eyes began to tear up . issy began to panic when she noticed the tears filling the judges eyes . oh my god , whats wrong ? did we accidentally add something weird ? wasabi ? i was really careful this time . tristan scowled , looking confused by their reactions . the chocolates should have tasted fine , normal even . he didnt even spit in the chocolates because he felt like that would have been cheating . dominik laughed openly as he watched what was going on with a highly amused expression on his face . is itbad ? tristan asked and held his breath as he awaited their response . capucine shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes . i cant believe im cryingits just these chocolates reminded me of my first love . albain shot capucine a surprised look . i was reminded of my first love too . capucine raised an eyebrow at albain . we went to the same high schoolso maybe i knew her . albain frowned . welli dont actually know . i met her during our senior prom , which had a masquerade theme . remember how everyone was wearing masks ?	[["intoxicate", 17], ["intoxicates", 17], ["intoxicating", 17], ["flavor", 24], ["flavorest", 24], ["spit", 35], ["spitting", 35], ["caramel", 58], ["sweet", 67], ["macadamia", 102], ["macadamias", 102], ["chunk", 109], ["chunked", 109], ["chunks", 109], ["add", 113], ["little", 122], ["spice", 150], ["relationship", 170], ["give", 189], ["gives", 189], ["nice", 199], ["texture", 207], ["capucine", 218], ["say", 223], ["sayest", 223], ["said", 223], ["look", 237], ["looked", 237], ["naughty", 274], ["naughtier", 274], ["naughtiest", 274], ["thought", 282], ["grab", 294], ["grabbing", 294], ["tie", 309], ["tying", 309], ["tieing", 309], ["pull", 321], ["pulling", 321], ["kiss", 339], ["kisses", 339], ["kissest", 339], ["shake", 351], ["shook", 351], ["head", 360], ["wonder", 370], ["wonderest", 370], ["wondering", 370], ["hell", 384], ["hells", 384], ["wrong", 394], ["process", 427], ["processes", 427], ["like", 437], ["teenager", 448], ["drunk", 464], ["house", 475], ["party", 481], ["ambrose", 491], ["pleased", 506], ["judge", 520], ["judges", 520], ["response", 530], ["responses", 530], ["levi", 537], ["levis", 537], ["stoic", 550], ["know", 579], ["knowest", 579], ["add", 629], ["adding", 629], ["bit", 635], ["bits", 635], ["ambrosia", 647], ["give", 675], ["gave", 675], ["feel", 725], ["inhibition", 743], ["inhibitions", 743], ["left", 751], ["leave", 751], ["leaving", 751], ["wild", 793], ["wildest", 793], ["result", 805], ["resultest", 805], ["feel", 815], ["feeling", 815], ["slightly", 824], ["lightheaded", 836], ["way", 864], ["ways", 864], ["team", 872], ["teamed", 872], ["teaming", 872], ["cooking", 883], ["station", 891], ["plate", 929], ["plating", 929], ["white", 938], ["dark", 947], ["swan", 953], ["swans", 953], ["sat", 961], ["sit", 961], ["sitting", 961], ["elaborate", 974], ["nest", 980], ["nestest", 980], ["nests", 980], ["clap", 999], ["clapped", 999], ["hand", 1009], ["hands", 1009], ["delightedly", 1021], ["even", 1038], ["evens", 1038], ["form", 1043], ["formest", 1043], ["heart", 1051], ["next", 1076], ["look", 1127], ["reis", 1132], ["real", 1132], ["professional", 1171], ["agree", 1187], ["agreed", 1187], ["choose", 1211], ["chose", 1211], ["swan", 1220], ["swans", 1220], ["shape", 1245], ["shapes", 1245], ["classic", 1266], ["romantic", 1279], ["symbol", 1286], ["also", 1295], ["idea", 1309], ["mix", 1319], ["mixed", 1319], ["mixing", 1319], ["reminiscent", 1381], ["star", 1389], ["starred", 1389], ["cross", 1397], ["crossing", 1397], ["crossed", 1397], ["love", 1402], ["continue", 1423], ["continued", 1423], ["carman", 1432], ["carmen", 1432], ["beam", 1439], ["beamed", 1439], ["may", 1448], ["mays", 1448], ["mayest", 1448], ["hope", 1486], ["end", 1502], ["ends", 1502], ["endest", 1502], ["together", 1521], ["singer", 1534], ["clasp", 1542], ["clasped", 1542], ["dreamy", 1577], ["face", 1594], ["raphael", 1604], ["help", 1617], ["helpest", 1617], ["flick", 1627], ["flickest", 1627], ["tip", 1635], ["nose", 1651], ["nosed", 1651], ["nosing", 1651], ["thumb", 1666], ["thumbed", 1666], ["index", 1676], ["indices", 1676], ["indexes", 1676], ["finger", 1683], ["snap", 1700], ["snapping", 1700], ["snapped", 1700], ["clear", 1718], ["clearest", 1718], ["cleared", 1718], ["throat", 1729], ["warning", 1755], ["smile", 1773], ["smiled", 1773], ["sheepishly", 1784], ["back", 1789], ["pick", 1821], ["picked", 1821], ["chew", 1860], ["chews", 1860], ["chewest", 1860], ["chewed", 1860], ["thoughtfully", 1873], ["glassy", 1888], ["hazy", 1900], ["dopey", 1924], ["smile", 1931], ["smiles", 1931], ["form", 1938], ["formest", 1938], ["formed", 1938], ["face", 1953], ["faces", 1953], ["sudden", 1971], ["hopeful", 2008], ["chocolate", 2044], ["happen", 2092], ["begin", 2130], ["began", 2130], ["talk", 2204], ["talking", 2204], ["plain", 2258], ["plains", 2258], ["surprise", 2285], ["surprised", 2285], ["fill", 2298], ["fills", 2298], ["filling", 2298], ["kind", 2311], ["well", 2340], ["wells", 2340], ["hopefulness", 2379], ["express", 2389], ["expressed", 2389], ["maybe", 2415], ["ask", 2428], ["date", 2451], ["may", 2462], ["mays", 2462], ["mayest", 2462], ["might", 2462], ["go", 2474], ["goest", 2474], ["never", 2488], ["shed", 2500], ["raphael", 2549], ["know", 2568], ["knowest", 2568], ["knew", 2568], ["enough", 2597], ["time", 2602], ["take", 2612], ["took", 2612], ["twice", 2626], ["long", 2634], ["longs", 2634], ["anything", 2649], ["move", 2667], ["perfect", 2693], ["perfectest", 2693], ["ingredient", 2711], ["ingredients", 2711], ["effectively", 2733], ["measure", 2742], ["measured", 2742], ["decoration", 2760], ["decorations", 2760], ["precision", 2790], ["everything", 2807], ["arrange", 2826], ["arranging", 2826], ["arranged", 2826], ["group", 2836], ["groups", 2836], ["three", 2845], ["right", 2857], ["rightest", 2857], ["angle", 2864], ["angles", 2864], ["approach", 2888], ["approaches", 2888], ["approached", 2888], ["food", 2934], ["foods", 2934], ["critic", 2941], ["cover", 2987], ["covered", 2987], ["cherry", 2996], ["cherries", 2996], ["zigzag", 3009], ["zigzagged", 3009], ["zigzagging", 3009], ["zigzags", 3009], ["red", 3016], ["icings", 3022], ["tiny", 3029], ["heart", 3050], ["hearts", 3050], ["compliment", 3087], ["complimented", 3087], ["remind", 3100], ["reminds", 3100], ["day", 3121], ["color", 3144], ["really", 3156], ["think", 3171], ["thinkest", 3171], ["bonbon", 3215], ["plop", 3234], ["plopped", 3234], ["mouth", 3255], ["mouthed", 3255], ["mouths", 3255], ["chew", 3276], ["chews", 3276], ["chewest", 3276], ["release", 3293], ["released", 3293], ["cream", 3309], ["creamest", 3309], ["fondant", 3317], ["cherry", 3346], ["bit", 3351], ["bits", 3351], ["two", 3361], ["twos", 3361], ["groan", 3381], ["groans", 3381], ["groanest", 3381], ["groaning", 3381], ["groaned", 3381], ["delight", 3392], ["however", 3402], ["finish", 3434], ["finished", 3434], ["chocolate", 3449], ["chocolates", 3449], ["eye", 3460], ["eyed", 3460], ["eyes", 3460], ["tear", 3474], ["teared", 3474], ["panic", 3499], ["notice", 3516], ["noticed", 3516], ["tear", 3526], ["teared", 3526], ["tears", 3526], ["oh", 3555], ["god", 3562], ["accidentally", 3598], ["weird", 3618], ["wasabi", 3627], ["careful", 3650], ["tristan", 3670], ["scowl", 3678], ["scowls", 3678], ["scowlest", 3678], ["scowling", 3678], ["scowled", 3678], ["look", 3688], ["looking", 3688], ["confuse", 3697], ["confused", 3697], ["confusing", 3697], ["reaction", 3716], ["reactions", 3716], ["taste", 3752], ["tasted", 3752], ["fine", 3757], ["normal", 3766], ["feel", 3826], ["felt", 3826], ["cheat", 3861], ["cheating", 3861], ["laugh", 3879], ["laughed", 3879], ["openly", 3886], ["watch", 3900], ["watched", 3900], ["go", 3915], ["goest", 3915], ["going", 3915], ["highly", 3932], ["expression", 3950], ["ask", 3989], ["asked", 3989], ["hold", 3998], ["held", 3998], ["breath", 4009], ["breathest", 4009], ["await", 4023], ["awaits", 4023], ["awaited", 4023], ["response", 4038], ["wipe", 4074], ["wiped", 4074], ["believe", 4115], ["remind", 4159], ["reminded", 4159], ["first", 4174], ["firstest", 4174], ["shoot", 4193], ["shooted", 4193], ["shot", 4193], ["raise", 4275], ["raised", 4275], ["eyebrow", 4286], ["go", 4306], ["goest", 4306], ["went", 4306], ["high", 4323], ["frown", 4366], ["frowns", 4366], ["frowned", 4366], ["meet", 4401], ["meeted", 4401], ["met", 4401], ["senior", 4423], ["prom", 4428], ["masquerade", 4453], ["masqueraded", 4453], ["theme", 4459], ["themes", 4459], ["themed", 4459], ["remember", 4470], ["rememberest", 4470], ["everyone", 4483], ["wear", 4495], ["wearing", 4495], ["mask", 4501], ["maskest", 4501], ["masks", 4501]]
if i could just get back to him , everything would be alright . chapter four darkness . every window had been checked , double checked and blackout drapes pulled . the doors had all been padlocked from the inside and my bedroom door had been padlocked from the outside . at least i was alone . i had no idea what time it was , or if it was close to midnight , but i hadnt heard kane moving around in a while . i hoped that meant he was asleep . just like tyler warned , my hands were cuffed to the metal bedframe above my head . kane offered to pull the blanket up , but surprisingly i declined . okay , not so surprisingly . as i focused on trying to get the handcuff key out of bra , i thought back to the day and what it would be like to be imprisoned here forever . after tyler left us , kane gave me a tour of his house , highlighting all the areas i was allowed to make myself at home in and brushing past the doors he didnt want me exploring . i would be free to roam around the town , house , and school or wherever i wanted during the day , but at night i was to return to him . so much freedom seemed easy enough to abuse , but the militant style of the guards around this place was insane . i wondered how long tyler and miller had been plotting to escape , because obviously , this was no easy task . after kane promised to have more clothes brought over in my size and we had a fast lunch of homemade bread and salted meats , he showed me more of the town . it was like children of the corn . only instead of just the kids being brainwashed and crazy , it was like every , single human being here had been injected with the insanity . they worshipped matthias allen and treated his beliefs like religion . there were signs posted all over the place with wacky political jargon and reminders of how to live communally . people lived in relative peace , with complaints or issues brought in front of matthias first thing in the morning , which was why kane took us directly to the school building . the school building didnt have any residential dorms or anything , but remained kind of a jail/meeting-place/office for matthias . the gym and fields were also used to train their guards and if i had to make an educated guess , i would have said thats where they also kept their food supplies and weaponry . kane never said that , even after i asked him specifically , but if i was planning this place , thats where i would put it . i was even taken to the two entrances to the town by road , one north of town and one south . i watched as a middle-aged man and wife seemed to stumble upon the guards . with feet bare and bloody , they were obviously malnourished . the guards looked them over and made them strip in the middle of the road . after they examined them for bites or infection marks at gunpoint , they handed them simple black outfits that reminded me of nurses scrubs or convicts jumpsuits . they were handcuffed behind the back , just like we were , then led off by another set of guards toward the school building . they could barely walk and their faces screamed for mercy and water , but they managed . i asked kane quietly as we stood leaning against one of the building fronts on the main street . theyll be asked to sign a loyalty contract and then sent to the medical facilities . he shrugged , bored with the explanation . theyll be put on a six-month mandatory probation where they live in community dorms and are watched twenty-four seven . at that time they can choose their job and they go to work . and if theyre good little boys and girls ? then the constant surveillance ends and the next six months are spent in relaxed probation . kane turned to look at me , drinking in my features with an increasingly hungry gaze . i ignored the simultaneous chills and beading of sweat that raced across my body while i struggled not to gag in revulsion then asked my next question , what is relaxed probation ? they are given a residence but are susceptible to random searches and interrogations . their job performance is monitored very carefully and their living stipend just barely covers their needs . then they become voting members of society . he smiled slowly at me . its really very humane . you have it in your head that were monsters , but were simply trying to protect a town full of people . humiliating them by making them stand naked in the middle of the road is not exactly respectable behavior . i shouldnt argue with him , i shouldnt press his buttons , but he drove me crazy with his whacked-out ideals . he would indoctrinate me if he could , turn me into one of the stepford wives of the zombie apocalypse if he could . why couldnt i do the same thing ? and if we let them in and they have the infection ? if they start biting and feeding and killing before we even realize theres a threat ?	[["get", 19], ["back", 24], ["everything", 44], ["alright", 61], ["chapter", 71], ["four", 76], ["darkness", 85], ["every", 93], ["window", 100], ["windows", 100], ["check", 117], ["checked", 117], ["double", 126], ["blackout", 147], ["drape", 154], ["drapes", 154], ["pull", 161], ["pulled", 161], ["door", 173], ["doors", 173], ["padlock", 196], ["padlocked", 196], ["inside", 212], ["bedroom", 227], ["door", 232], ["outside", 268], ["least", 279], ["leastest", 279], ["alone", 291], ["idea", 307], ["time", 317], ["close", 345], ["midnight", 357], ["midnights", 357], ["hear", 377], ["hears", 377], ["heard", 377], ["kane", 382], ["move", 389], ["moving", 389], ["around", 396], ["hope", 417], ["hoped", 417], ["mean", 428], ["meanest", 428], ["meant", 428], ["asleep", 442], ["like", 454], ["warn", 467], ["warned", 467], ["hand", 478], ["hands", 478], ["cuff", 490], ["cuffed", 490], ["metal", 503], ["bedframe", 512], ["head", 526], ["offer", 541], ["offered", 541], ["pull", 549], ["blanket", 561], ["surprisingly", 583], ["decline", 594], ["declined", 594], ["okay", 601], ["focus", 638], ["focused", 638], ["try", 648], ["tryed", 648], ["trying", 648], ["handcuff", 668], ["handcuffed", 668], ["key", 672], ["keyed", 672], ["keyest", 672], ["bra", 683], ["bras", 683], ["think", 695], ["thinkest", 695], ["thought", 695], ["day", 711], ["imprison", 754], ["imprisonest", 754], ["imprisoned", 754], ["forever", 767], ["left", 786], ["leave", 786], ["give", 801], ["gave", 801], ["tour", 811], ["house", 824], ["highlight", 839], ["highlighting", 839], ["area", 853], ["areas", 853], ["allow", 867], ["allowed", 867], ["home", 890], ["homing", 890], ["brush", 906], ["brushest", 906], ["brushing", 906], ["past", 911], ["explore", 948], ["exploring", 948], ["free", 966], ["roam", 974], ["roamest", 974], ["town", 990], ["school", 1011], ["schooling", 1011], ["wherever", 1023], ["night", 1062], ["return", 1078], ["returnest", 1078], ["much", 1095], ["freedom", 1103], ["seem", 1110], ["seeming", 1110], ["seemed", 1110], ["easy", 1115], ["enough", 1122], ["abuse", 1131], ["militant", 1150], ["style", 1156], ["guard", 1170], ["guards", 1170], ["place", 1188], ["insane", 1199], ["wonder", 1212], ["wonderest", 1212], ["wondered", 1212], ["long", 1221], ["longs", 1221], ["miller", 1238], ["plot", 1256], ["plotting", 1256], ["escape", 1266], ["escapes", 1266], ["obviously", 1286], ["task", 1310], ["tasking", 1310], ["taskest", 1310], ["promise", 1332], ["promised", 1332], ["clad", 1353], ["clothe", 1353], ["clothes", 1353], ["bring", 1361], ["brought", 1361], ["size", 1377], ["fast", 1395], ["lunch", 1401], ["lunched", 1401], ["lunches", 1401], ["homemade", 1413], ["bread", 1419], ["breads", 1419], ["salt", 1430], ["salts", 1430], ["salted", 1430], ["meat", 1436], ["meats", 1436], ["show", 1448], ["showed", 1448], ["child", 1491], ["childs", 1491], ["children", 1491], ["corn", 1503], ["instead", 1518], ["kid", 1535], ["kids", 1535], ["brainwash", 1553], ["brainwashed", 1553], ["crazy", 1563], ["single", 1592], ["human", 1598], ["inject", 1627], ["injected", 1627], ["insanity", 1645], ["worship", 1663], ["worshipped", 1663], ["allen", 1678], ["treat", 1690], ["treats", 1690], ["treatest", 1690], ["treated", 1690], ["belief", 1702], ["beliefs", 1702], ["religion", 1716], ["sign", 1735], ["signs", 1735], ["post", 1742], ["posted", 1742], ["wacky", 1772], ["political", 1782], ["jargon", 1789], ["reminders", 1803], ["live", 1818], ["communally", 1829], ["people", 1838], ["live", 1844], ["lived", 1844], ["relative", 1856], ["peace", 1862], ["complaint", 1880], ["complaints", 1880], ["issue", 1890], ["issues", 1890], ["front", 1907], ["first", 1925], ["firstest", 1925], ["thing", 1931], ["morning", 1946], ["take", 1972], ["took", 1972], ["directly", 1984], ["build", 2007], ["building", 2007], ["residential", 2056], ["dorm", 2062], ["dorms", 2062], ["anything", 2074], ["remain", 2089], ["remained", 2089], ["kind", 2094], ["jail", 2104], ["jails", 2104], ["jailest", 2104], ["jailing", 2104], ["meeting", 2112], ["office", 2125], ["gym", 2148], ["gyms", 2148], ["field", 2159], ["fielding", 2159], ["fields", 2159], ["also", 2169], ["use", 2174], ["used", 2174], ["train", 2183], ["educate", 2229], ["educated", 2229], ["guess", 2235], ["say", 2255], ["sayest", 2255], ["said", 2255], ["keep", 2282], ["keepest", 2282], ["kept", 2282], ["food", 2293], ["foods", 2293], ["supply", 2302], ["supplies", 2302], ["weaponry", 2315], ["never", 2328], ["even", 2345], ["evens", 2345], ["ask", 2359], ["asked", 2359], ["specifically", 2376], ["plan", 2400], ["put", 2437], ["take", 2459], ["taken", 2459], ["two", 2470], ["twos", 2470], ["entrance", 2480], ["entrancing", 2480], ["entrances", 2480], ["road", 2500], ["north", 2512], ["south", 2534], ["watch", 2546], ["watched", 2546], ["middle", 2558], ["middles", 2558], ["middling", 2558], ["man", 2567], ["mans", 2567], ["manned", 2567], ["wife", 2576], ["stumble", 2594], ["upon", 2599], ["foot", 2622], ["feet", 2622], ["bare", 2627], ["bloody", 2638], ["bloodying", 2638], ["malnourish", 2673], ["malnourished", 2673], ["look", 2693], ["looked", 2693], ["strip", 2723], ["examine", 2771], ["examined", 2771], ["bite", 2786], ["bites", 2786], ["infection", 2799], ["mark", 2805], ["marks", 2805], ["gunpoint", 2817], ["hand", 2831], ["handed", 2831], ["simple", 2843], ["simplest", 2843], ["black", 2849], ["outfit", 2857], ["outfits", 2857], ["remind", 2871], ["reminded", 2871], ["nurse", 2884], ["nurses", 2884], ["scrub", 2891], ["scrubs", 2891], ["convict", 2903], ["convicts", 2903], ["jumpsuit", 2913], ["jumpsuits", 2913], ["handcuff", 2936], ["handcuffed", 2936], ["behind", 2943], ["lead", 2983], ["leaded", 2983], ["led", 2983], ["another", 2998], ["set", 3002], ["toward", 3019], ["barely", 3059], ["walk", 3064], ["face", 3080], ["faces", 3080], ["scream", 3089], ["screams", 3089], ["screamed", 3089], ["mercy", 3099], ["water", 3109], ["manage", 3128], ["managed", 3128], ["quietly", 3151], ["stood", 3163], ["stand", 3163], ["standest", 3163], ["lean", 3171], ["leans", 3171], ["leaning", 3171], ["front", 3206], ["fronts", 3206], ["main", 3218], ["street", 3225], ["sign", 3251], ["loyalty", 3261], ["contract", 3270], ["contractest", 3270], ["send", 3284], ["sent", 3284], ["medical", 3299], ["facility", 3310], ["facilities", 3310], ["shrug", 3324], ["shrugging", 3324], ["shrugged", 3324], ["bore", 3332], ["bored", 3332], ["boring", 3332], ["explanation", 3353], ["six", 3378], ["month", 3384], ["mandatory", 3394], ["probation", 3404], ["community", 3433], ["twenty", 3462], ["seven", 3473], ["choose", 3504], ["job", 3514], ["jobbing", 3514], ["go", 3526], ["goest", 3526], ["work", 3534], ["wrought", 3534], ["good", 3555], ["little", 3562], ["boy", 3567], ["boys", 3567], ["girl", 3577], ["girls", 3577], ["constant", 3597], ["surveillance", 3610], ["end", 3615], ["ends", 3615], ["endest", 3615], ["next", 3628], ["month", 3639], ["months", 3639], ["spend", 3649], ["spends", 3649], ["spendest", 3649], ["spent", 3649], ["turn", 3684], ["turned", 3684], ["look", 3692], ["drank", 3709], ["drink", 3709], ["drinking", 3709], ["feature", 3724], ["features", 3724], ["increasingly", 3745], ["hungry", 3752], ["gaze", 3757], ["gazes", 3757], ["ignore", 3769], ["ignored", 3769], ["simultaneous", 3786], ["chill", 3793], ["chills", 3793], ["chilling", 3793], ["bead", 3805], ["sweat", 3814], ["race", 3825], ["racing", 3825], ["raced", 3825], ["across", 3832], ["body", 3840], ["bodied", 3840], ["struggle", 3858], ["struggled", 3858], ["gag", 3869], ["revulsion", 3882], ["question", 3910], ["give", 3955], ["given", 3955], ["residence", 3967], ["susceptible", 3987], ["random", 3997], ["search", 4006], ["searches", 4006], ["interrogation", 4025], ["performance", 4049], ["monitor", 4062], ["monitored", 4062], ["carefully", 4077], ["stipend", 4102], ["cover", 4121], ["covers", 4121], ["need", 4133], ["needest", 4133], ["needs", 4133], ["become", 4152], ["vote", 4159], ["member", 4167], ["members", 4167], ["society", 4178], ["smile", 4190], ["smiled", 4190], ["slowly", 4197], ["really", 4216], ["monster", 4274], ["monsters", 4274], ["simply", 4292], ["protect", 4310], ["protectest", 4310], ["full", 4322], ["humiliate", 4346], ["stood", 4372], ["stand", 4372], ["standest", 4372], ["naked", 4378], ["exactly", 4419], ["respectable", 4431], ["behavior", 4440], ["argue", 4459], ["press", 4487], ["button", 4499], ["buttoning", 4499], ["buttons", 4499], ["drive", 4514], ["drove", 4514], ["whack", 4540], ["whacked", 4540], ["ideal", 4551], ["ideals", 4551], ["indoctrinate", 4575], ["indoctrinates", 4575], ["turn", 4597], ["stepford", 4625], ["wife", 4631], ["wives", 4631], ["zombie", 4645], ["zombied", 4645], ["apocalypse", 4656], ["let", 4718], ["lets", 4718], ["start", 4770], ["bite", 4777], ["biting", 4777], ["fed", 4789], ["feed", 4789], ["feeding", 4789], ["killing", 4801], ["realize", 4824], ["threat", 4840]]
`` i realize that , and i do n't know if i would have actual y turned him in knowing the outcome , '' he admitted quietly . `` but i would have wrestled with the decision . haversham knows me wel enough to know that , which is - i think - why he said he was going to retire to the continent . he wil be beyond english law and revealing what he did would accomplish nothing but cause trouble and pain for those i love . now i do n't have to wrestle with the decision . '' `` is everyone stil in the office ? '' `` no , daniel went to tel suzette - oh , '' she breathed suddenly . suzette does n't have to marry daniel now . the markers are in the office somewhere and - `` `` i think you might want to keep that bit of information to yourself for a bit , '' richard interrupted . `` because daniel real y wants to marry suzette , and i think she wants to marry him too , but daniel thinks she needs the markers as an excuse or may become difficult . '' she considered that solemnly . the conversation she 'd had with suzette today had made her suspect her sister real y did care for daniel . in fact , she 'd seemed quite disgruntled over the idea that daniel was only marrying her for the dower which made her ask , `` does he want her for her dower ? '' richard grinned and shook his head . `` he 's almost as rich as i . '' `` she fascinates him and he wants her . in truth , i think he 's half in love with her . '' `` i think she may be fal ing in love with him too , '' christiana said quietly . `` why do we not just tel them and - `` `` daniel believes , and your father concurred , that suzette is just contrary enough to refuse to marry him despite her feelings if she finds out she does n't have to . he also thinks that your year of marriage with george has put her off the idea of marriage altogether . '' `` i think he knows her very wel . '' `` then perhaps we can just keep the information about the markers to ourselves until we see how things go , '' he suggested , and then smiled wryly. `` 't is a bit of good fortune for daniel that suzette was n't in the room to hear al that business . '' `` yes , i suppose , '' christiana murmured , thinking she would wait a bit , but she would tel suzette before she and daniel married . her conscience would n't al ow her to do otherwise . she changed the subject then , asking , `` if haversham kil ed george , does that mean the carriage accident was just that , an accident ? '' it was only george 's murder combined with the fact that three spokes on the carriage wheel seemed relatively straight that made us think otherwise . i guess they could have simply broken that way as the wheel col apsed . `` but what about the post chaise that nearly ran you down today ? '' he frowned and considered , but then sighed and said , `` accidents do happen and drivers lose control of carriages . it 's possible it was just an accident and we put it down as a murder attempt because george was poisoned . '' christiana frowned , not convinced . `` we shal have to be careful and alert for a while until we are sure . '' richard smiled and drew her against his chest with a sigh . christiana glanced up sharply . taking her face in both hands , he said firmly , `` i said , i love you too . '' christiana breathed with wonder , and then realized he 'd said i love you too and smiled wryly . `` you did hear what i said to father outside then ? '' richard nodded and then asked , `` you did mean it , did n't you ? you were n't just saying it to ease your father 's worries and - ? '' `` i meant it , '' she interrupted , covering his hands with her own . `` thank god , '' he breathed , and lowered his head to kiss her . christiana sighed , her body melting against his and arms sliding up around his neck . she did love his kisses , they stirred her like nothing she 'd ever before experienced , and apparently stirred him too , she realized as she felt him hardening against her . she whispered , tearing her mouth from his . he murmured , kissing her ear in lieu of her lips . `` why do we not go upstairs ? '' he stopped kissing her to pul back and peer at her face uncertainly . christiana nodded , pressed more tightly against his growing erection , and murmured , `` i should like to discuss our feelings further ... in the bedroom , '' she added shyly in case he was misunderstanding her meaning . richard 's eyebrows flew up , and then he caught her hand and turned to start toward the stairs , only to pause abruptly as the parlor door suddenly burst open and daniel and the others hurried out .	[["realize", 12], ["know", 37], ["knowest", 37], ["actual", 60], ["turn", 69], ["turned", 69], ["know", 84], ["knowest", 84], ["knowing", 84], ["outcome", 96], ["admit", 113], ["admitted", 113], ["quietly", 121], ["wrestle", 152], ["wrestled", 152], ["decision", 170], ["know", 188], ["knowest", 188], ["knows", 188], ["wels", 195], ["enough", 202], ["think", 236], ["thinkest", 236], ["say", 250], ["sayest", 250], ["said", 250], ["go", 263], ["goest", 263], ["going", 263], ["retire", 273], ["continent", 290], ["beyond", 309], ["english", 317], ["englishest", 317], ["law", 321], ["reveal", 335], ["revealing", 335], ["accomplish", 364], ["accomplishest", 364], ["nothing", 372], ["cause", 382], ["trouble", 390], ["troubling", 390], ["pain", 399], ["love", 416], ["wrestle", 447], ["everyone", 485], ["office", 504], ["daniel", 524], ["daniels", 524], ["go", 529], ["goest", 529], ["went", 529], ["tel", 536], ["oh", 549], ["breathe", 567], ["breathes", 567], ["breathed", 567], ["suddenly", 576], ["marry", 609], ["married", 609], ["marker", 634], ["markers", 634], ["somewhere", 662], ["may", 692], ["mays", 692], ["mayest", 692], ["might", 692], ["keep", 705], ["keepest", 705], ["bit", 714], ["bits", 714], ["information", 729], ["richard", 764], ["richards", 764], ["reis", 801], ["real", 801], ["think", 887], ["thinkest", 887], ["thinks", 887], ["need", 897], ["needest", 897], ["needs", 897], ["excuse", 922], ["may", 929], ["mays", 929], ["mayest", 929], ["become", 936], ["difficult", 946], ["consider", 966], ["considered", 966], ["solemnly", 980], ["conversation", 999], ["today", 1029], ["suspect", 1050], ["sister", 1061], ["care", 1077], ["fact", 1098], ["seem", 1114], ["seeming", 1114], ["seemed", 1114], ["quite", 1120], ["disgruntle", 1132], ["disgruntled", 1132], ["idea", 1146], ["marry", 1176], ["married", 1176], ["marrying", 1176], ["dower", 1194], ["ask", 1213], ["grin", 1270], ["grinned", 1270], ["shake", 1280], ["shook", 1280], ["head", 1289], ["almost", 1307], ["rich", 1315], ["fascinate", 1343], ["fascinated", 1343], ["fascinates", 1343], ["truth", 1375], ["half", 1396], ["fal", 1444], ["ing", 1448], ["christiana", 1485], ["believe", 1559], ["believes", 1559], ["father", 1577], ["fathered", 1577], ["fathering", 1577], ["concur", 1587], ["concurred", 1587], ["contrary", 1619], ["refuse", 1636], ["despite", 1657], ["feeling", 1670], ["feelings", 1670], ["find", 1683], ["finds", 1683], ["also", 1718], ["year", 1740], ["marriage", 1752], ["george", 1764], ["put", 1772], ["altogether", 1812], ["perhaps", 1871], ["see", 1948], ["thing", 1959], ["things", 1959], ["go", 1962], ["goest", 1962], ["suggest", 1980], ["suggested", 1980], ["smile", 1998], ["smiled", 1998], ["wryly", 2004], ["good", 2028], ["fortune", 2036], ["room", 2080], ["roomed", 2080], ["hear", 2088], ["hears", 2088], ["al", 2091], ["als", 2091], ["business", 2105], ["yes", 2117], ["suppose", 2129], ["think", 2165], ["thinkest", 2165], ["thinking", 2165], ["wait", 2180], ["waitest", 2180], ["married", 2244], ["conscience", 2261], ["ow", 2277], ["otherwise", 2297], ["change", 2311], ["changed", 2311], ["subject", 2323], ["subjectest", 2323], ["ask", 2337], ["asking", 2337], ["ed", 2362], ["mean", 2386], ["meanest", 2386], ["carriage", 2399], ["accident", 2408], ["murder", 2470], ["murderest", 2470], ["combine", 2479], ["combined", 2479], ["three", 2504], ["spoke", 2511], ["spoked", 2511], ["spokes", 2511], ["wheel", 2533], ["wheeled", 2533], ["relatively", 2551], ["straight", 2560], ["guess", 2599], ["simply", 2622], ["break", 2629], ["broke", 2629], ["broken", 2629], ["way", 2638], ["ways", 2638], ["col", 2655], ["apse", 2661], ["post", 2690], ["chaise", 2697], ["nearly", 2709], ["run", 2713], ["ran", 2713], ["frown", 2744], ["frowns", 2744], ["frowned", 2744], ["sigh", 2777], ["sighest", 2777], ["sighed", 2777], ["accident", 2801], ["accidents", 2801], ["happen", 2811], ["driver", 2823], ["drivers", 2823], ["lose", 2828], ["control", 2836], ["carriage", 2849], ["carriages", 2849], ["possible", 2866], ["attempt", 2929], ["poison", 2957], ["poisoning", 2957], ["poisoned", 2957], ["careful", 3029], ["alert", 3039], ["alerted", 3039], ["sure", 3069], ["draw", 3098], ["draws", 3098], ["drawn", 3098], ["drew", 3098], ["chest", 3120], ["sigh", 3132], ["sighest", 3132], ["glance", 3153], ["glanced", 3153], ["sharply", 3164], ["take", 3173], ["taking", 3173], ["face", 3182], ["hand", 3196], ["hands", 3196], ["firmly", 3213], ["wonder", 3279], ["wonderest", 3279], ["realize", 3299], ["realized", 3299], ["outside", 3390], ["nod", 3415], ["nodded", 3415], ["ask", 3430], ["asked", 3430], ["say", 3492], ["sayest", 3492], ["saying", 3492], ["ease", 3503], ["worry", 3526], ["worried", 3526], ["worries", 3526], ["mean", 3548], ["meanest", 3548], ["meant", 3548], ["interrupt", 3572], ["interruptest", 3572], ["interrupted", 3572], ["cover", 3583], ["covering", 3583], ["thank", 3617], ["thanks", 3617], ["thankest", 3617], ["god", 3621], ["lower", 3652], ["lowers", 3652], ["lowerest", 3652], ["lowered", 3652], ["kiss", 3669], ["kisses", 3669], ["kissest", 3669], ["body", 3704], ["bodied", 3704], ["melt", 3712], ["meltest", 3712], ["melting", 3712], ["arm", 3733], ["arms", 3733], ["slid", 3741], ["sliding", 3741], ["around", 3751], ["neck", 3760], ["necked", 3760], ["kiss", 3786], ["kisses", 3786], ["kissest", 3786], ["stir", 3801], ["stirs", 3801], ["stirred", 3801], ["like", 3810], ["ever", 3830], ["everest", 3830], ["experience", 3849], ["experienced", 3849], ["apparently", 3866], ["feel", 3909], ["felt", 3909], ["harden", 3923], ["hardens", 3923], ["hardening", 3923], ["whisper", 3951], ["whispered", 3951], ["tear", 3961], ["teared", 3961], ["tearing", 3961], ["mouth", 3971], ["mouthed", 3971], ["murmur", 3994], ["murmurest", 3994], ["murmured", 3994], ["kiss", 4004], ["kisses", 4004], ["kissest", 4004], ["kissing", 4004], ["ear", 4012], ["lieu", 4020], ["lip", 4032], ["lipped", 4032], ["lips", 4032], ["upstairs", 4063], ["stop", 4079], ["stopped", 4079], ["pul", 4098], ["puli", 4098], ["back", 4103], ["peer", 4112], ["uncertainly", 4136], ["press", 4166], ["pressed", 4166], ["tightly", 4179], ["grow", 4199], ["growest", 4199], ["growing", 4199], ["erection", 4208], ["discuss", 4253], ["discusses", 4253], ["discussest", 4253], ["bedroom", 4293], ["add", 4308], ["added", 4308], ["shyly", 4314], ["case", 4322], ["misunderstand", 4346], ["misunderstanding", 4346], ["meaning", 4358], ["eyebrow", 4380], ["eyebrows", 4380], ["fly", 4385], ["flys", 4385], ["flew", 4385], ["catch", 4409], ["catches", 4409], ["catched", 4409], ["caught", 4409], ["hand", 4418], ["start", 4438], ["toward", 4445], ["stair", 4456], ["stairs", 4456], ["pause", 4472], ["abruptly", 4481], ["parlor", 4495], ["door", 4500], ["burst", 4515], ["bursted", 4515], ["open", 4520], ["hurry", 4554], ["hurried", 4554], ["hurryed", 4554], ["hurrying", 4554]]
even now , as her husband lay connected to life by the most tenuous strands , she looked strangely , almost defiantly , serene . her posture was perfect and if there was a shaking in her hands it would take a seismologist to detect it . meredith wiped her eyes , unaware until that moment that tears were seeping out . she stood there as long as she could . the doc had said one at a time and meredith was n't one to break rules , but finally she could n't stand it . she went to him , stopped at the foot of his bed . the whir of machinery seemed absurdly loud . her mother sighed heavily and walked away . meredith knew her mom would head straight for a window somewhere and stare out into the snowy night , alone . normally , it pissed meredith off , how alone her mother liked to be , but just now she did n't care , and for once , she did n't judge her mother harshly . everyone broke-and held themselves together-in their own way . she reached down and touched her father 's hand . `` hey , daddy , '' she whispered , trying her best to smile . `` it 's your meredoodle . talk to me , daddy . '' the only answer was the wind , tapping on the glass while the snow flurried and danced beneath the outside light . three nina stood in the confusing jumble that was the johannesburg airport and looked up at danny . she knew he wanted to go with her , but she could n't imagine why . she had nothing to give him right now , nothing to give anyone . she just needed to go , to be gone , to be home . she could see that she 'd hurt him . he ran a deeply tanned hand through his long , messy black hair , and stared down at her with an intensity that made her draw in a sharp breath . it got through , that look , hit her hard . he reached out slowly , pulled her into his arms as if they were alone , two lovers with all the time in the world . he claimed her with a kiss that was deep and intimate , almost primal in its power . she felt her heartbeat quicken and her cheeks heat up , although it made no sense , that reaction . she was a grown woman , not a scared virgin , and sex was the last thing on her mind . `` remember that , love , '' he said , drawing back but not looking away . it was a kiss that almost softened her grief for a second , lessened her load . she almost said something , almost changed her mind , but before she found even the start of a word , he was pulling away , turning his back on her , and then he was gone . she stood there a minute , almost frozen ; then she grabbed her backpack from the floor beside her feet and started walking . thirty-four hours later , she parked her rental car in the dark , snow-coated hospital parking lot and ran inside , praying-as she had for every hour of the transcontinental flight-that she was n't too late . in the waiting room on the third floor , she found her sister positioned like a sentinel next to an absurdly cheery aquarium full of tropical fish . nina skidded to a stop , afraid suddenly to say anything . they 'd always handled things differently , she and meredith . even as girls . nina had fallen often and picked herself back up ; meredith had moved cautiously , rarely losing her balance . nina had broken things ; meredith held them together . nina needed that now , needed her sister to hold her together . meredith turned to her . even with the length of the waiting room between them and bad fluorescent lighting above , nina could see how drawn and tired her sister looked . meredith 's chestnut-brown hair , usually so flawlessly styled , was a mess . she wore no makeup , and without it , her brown eyes looked too big for her pale face , her oversized mouth was colorless . `` you 're here , '' she said , moving forward , taking nina into her arms . when nina drew back , she was unsteady , her breathing was a little erratic . he had a second massive heart attack . at first they were going to try to operate ... but now they 're saying he wo n't survive it . dr. watanabe does n't think he 'll make it through the weekend . but they did n't really think he 'd make it through the first night , either . '' nina closed her eyes at the pain of that . thank god she had made it home in time to see him . but how could she lose him ? he was her level ground , her north star . the one person who was always waiting for her to come home . slowly , she opened her eyes and looked at her sister again . meredith stepped sideways . and there she was-a beautiful white-haired woman sitting in a cheap upholstered chair . even from here , nina could see how controlled her mother was , how scarily contained .	[["even", 4], ["evens", 4], ["husband", 25], ["husbanding", 25], ["lay", 29], ["lie", 29], ["lain", 29], ["connect", 39], ["connectest", 39], ["connected", 39], ["life", 47], ["lifes", 47], ["tenuous", 67], ["strand", 75], ["strands", 75], ["look", 88], ["looked", 88], ["strangely", 98], ["almost", 107], ["defiantly", 117], ["serene", 126], ["posture", 140], ["perfect", 152], ["perfectest", 152], ["shaking", 179], ["hand", 192], ["hands", 192], ["take", 206], ["seismologist", 221], ["detect", 231], ["detectest", 231], ["meredith", 245], ["wipe", 251], ["wiped", 251], ["eye", 260], ["eyed", 260], ["eyes", 260], ["unaware", 270], ["unawares", 270], ["moment", 288], ["tear", 299], ["teared", 299], ["tears", 299], ["seep", 312], ["seeping", 312], ["stood", 328], ["stand", 328], ["standest", 328], ["long", 342], ["longs", 342], ["doc", 365], ["say", 374], ["sayest", 374], ["said", 374], ["time", 388], ["break", 422], ["broke", 422], ["rule", 428], ["rules", 428], ["finally", 442], ["stood", 462], ["stand", 462], ["standest", 462], ["go", 476], ["goest", 476], ["went", 476], ["stop", 493], ["stopped", 493], ["foot", 505], ["bed", 516], ["whir", 527], ["machinery", 540], ["seem", 547], ["seeming", 547], ["seemed", 547], ["absurdly", 556], ["loud", 561], ["mother", 574], ["mothered", 574], ["motherest", 574], ["sigh", 581], ["sighest", 581], ["sighed", 581], ["heavily", 589], ["walk", 600], ["walked", 600], ["away", 605], ["know", 621], ["knowest", 621], ["knew", 621], ["mom", 629], ["moms", 629], ["head", 640], ["straight", 649], ["window", 662], ["windows", 662], ["somewhere", 672], ["stared", 682], ["snowy", 701], ["night", 707], ["alone", 715], ["normally", 726], ["piss", 738], ["pissest", 738], ["pissed", 738], ["like", 780], ["liked", 780], ["judge", 853], ["harshly", 872], ["everyone", 883], ["break", 889], ["broke", 889], ["hold", 898], ["held", 898], ["together", 918], ["way", 935], ["ways", 935], ["reach", 949], ["reached", 949], ["touch", 966], ["touching", 966], ["touched", 966], ["father", 977], ["fathered", 977], ["fathering", 977], ["hand", 985], ["hey", 994], ["daddy", 1002], ["whisper", 1021], ["whispered", 1021], ["try", 1030], ["tryed", 1030], ["trying", 1030], ["good", 1039], ["best", 1039], ["smile", 1048], ["talk", 1082], ["answer", 1117], ["answeres", 1117], ["answerest", 1117], ["wind", 1130], ["tap", 1140], ["tapping", 1140], ["glass", 1153], ["snow", 1168], ["flurry", 1177], ["flurried", 1177], ["dance", 1188], ["danced", 1188], ["beneath", 1196], ["outside", 1208], ["lit", 1214], ["light", 1214], ["three", 1222], ["nina", 1227], ["jumble", 1257], ["jumbles", 1257], ["johannesburg", 1283], ["airport", 1291], ["danny", 1314], ["go", 1341], ["goest", 1341], ["imagine", 1378], ["nothing", 1400], ["give", 1408], ["right", 1418], ["rightest", 1418], ["anyone", 1447], ["need", 1465], ["needest", 1465], ["needed", 1465], ["go", 1484], ["goest", 1484], ["gone", 1484], ["home", 1497], ["homing", 1497], ["see", 1513], ["hurt", 1530], ["hurts", 1530], ["hurting", 1530], ["run", 1543], ["ran", 1543], ["deeply", 1552], ["messy", 1589], ["messier", 1589], ["black", 1595], ["hair", 1600], ["stared", 1613], ["intensity", 1643], ["draw", 1662], ["draws", 1662], ["drawn", 1662], ["sharp", 1673], ["sharps", 1673], ["breath", 1680], ["breathest", 1680], ["get", 1689], ["got", 1689], ["look", 1709], ["hit", 1715], ["hard", 1724], ["slowly", 1748], ["pull", 1757], ["pulled", 1757], ["arm", 1775], ["arms", 1775], ["two", 1803], ["twos", 1803], ["lover", 1810], ["lovers", 1810], ["world", 1841], ["claim", 1854], ["claimed", 1854], ["kiss", 1870], ["kisses", 1870], ["kissest", 1870], ["deep", 1884], ["deeply", 1884], ["intimate", 1897], ["primal", 1913], ["power", 1926], ["feel", 1937], ["felt", 1937], ["heartbeat", 1951], ["heartbeats", 1951], ["quicken", 1959], ["quickens", 1959], ["cheek", 1974], ["cheeks", 1974], ["heat", 1979], ["heats", 1979], ["heated", 1979], ["although", 1993], ["sense", 2010], ["reaction", 2026], ["woman", 2050], ["womans", 2050], ["virgin", 2072], ["sex", 2082], ["last", 2095], ["thing", 2101], ["mind", 2113], ["minding", 2113], ["remember", 2127], ["rememberest", 2127], ["love", 2139], ["draw", 2162], ["draws", 2162], ["drawn", 2162], ["drawing", 2162], ["back", 2167], ["look", 2183], ["looking", 2183], ["soften", 2225], ["softens", 2225], ["softened", 2225], ["grief", 2235], ["second", 2248], ["seconded", 2248], ["lessen", 2259], ["lessened", 2259], ["load", 2268], ["loaded", 2268], ["change", 2313], ["changed", 2313], ["find", 2345], ["found", 2345], ["start", 2360], ["word", 2370], ["pull", 2387], ["pulling", 2387], ["turn", 2402], ["turning", 2402], ["minute", 2468], ["grab", 2503], ["grabbed", 2503], ["backpack", 2516], ["backpacking", 2516], ["floor", 2531], ["beside", 2538], ["foot", 2547], ["feet", 2547], ["start", 2559], ["started", 2559], ["walk", 2567], ["walking", 2567], ["thirty", 2576], ["four", 2581], ["hour", 2587], ["hours", 2587], ["later", 2593], ["park", 2606], ["parks", 2606], ["parked", 2606], ["rental", 2617], ["car", 2621], ["dark", 2633], ["coat", 2647], ["coated", 2647], ["hospital", 2656], ["parking", 2664], ["lot", 2668], ["inside", 2683], ["pray", 2693], ["prays", 2693], ["praying", 2693], ["every", 2714], ["hour", 2719], ["transcontinental", 2743], ["flight", 2750], ["late", 2776], ["lates", 2776], ["room", 2798], ["roomed", 2798], ["third", 2811], ["sister", 2840], ["position", 2851], ["positioned", 2851], ["like", 2856], ["sentinel", 2867], ["next", 2872], ["cheery", 2894], ["aquarium", 2903], ["full", 2908], ["tropical", 2920], ["fish", 2925], ["fishes", 2925], ["fishest", 2925], ["skid", 2940], ["skidded", 2940], ["stop", 2950], ["afraid", 2959], ["suddenly", 2968], ["say", 2975], ["sayest", 2975], ["anything", 2984], ["always", 3001], ["handle", 3009], ["handled", 3009], ["thing", 3016], ["things", 3016], ["differently", 3028], ["girl", 3063], ["girls", 3063], ["fall", 3081], ["falls", 3081], ["fallen", 3081], ["often", 3087], ["pick", 3098], ["picked", 3098], ["move", 3135], ["moved", 3135], ["cautiously", 3146], ["rarely", 3155], ["lose", 3162], ["losing", 3162], ["balance", 3174], ["break", 3192], ["broke", 3192], ["broken", 3192], ["hold", 3280], ["turn", 3311], ["turned", 3311], ["length", 3341], ["bad", 3382], ["fluorescent", 3394], ["lighting", 3403], ["draw", 3436], ["draws", 3436], ["drawn", 3436], ["tire", 3446], ["chestnut", 3487], ["chestnuts", 3487], ["brown", 3493], ["browns", 3493], ["usually", 3508], ["flawlessly", 3522], ["style", 3529], ["styled", 3529], ["mess", 3542], ["messed", 3542], ["messing", 3542], ["wear", 3553], ["wore", 3553], ["makeup", 3563], ["without", 3577], ["big", 3612], ["bigs", 3612], ["pale", 3625], ["face", 3630], ["mouth", 3652], ["mouthed", 3652], ["colorless", 3666], ["move", 3707], ["moving", 3707], ["forward", 3715], ["forwardest", 3715], ["forwarding", 3715], ["take", 3724], ["taking", 3724], ["draw", 3760], ["draws", 3760], ["drawn", 3760], ["drew", 3760], ["unsteady", 3784], ["breathing", 3800], ["little", 3813], ["erratic", 3821], ["massive", 3847], ["heart", 3853], ["attack", 3860], ["first", 3871], ["firstest", 3871], ["go", 3887], ["goest", 3887], ["going", 3887], ["try", 3894], ["tryed", 3894], ["operate", 3905], ["say", 3933], ["sayest", 3933], ["saying", 3933], ["wo", 3939], ["survive", 3951], ["dr", 3959], ["drs", 3959], ["think", 3984], ["thinkest", 3984], ["weekend", 4019], ["really", 4045], ["either", 4098], ["close", 4115], ["closed", 4115], ["pain", 4136], ["thank", 4152], ["thanks", 4152], ["thankest", 4152], ["god", 4156], ["lose", 4221], ["level", 4244], ["ground", 4251], ["north", 4263], ["star", 4268], ["starred", 4268], ["person", 4285], ["wait", 4308], ["waitest", 4308], ["waiting", 4308], ["come", 4324], ["open", 4351], ["opened", 4351], ["step", 4410], ["stepped", 4410], ["sideways", 4419], ["beautiful", 4451], ["beautifulest", 4451], ["white", 4457], ["sat", 4478], ["sit", 4478], ["sitting", 4478], ["cheap", 4489], ["upholstered", 4501], ["chair", 4507], ["chairing", 4507], ["control", 4556], ["controlled", 4556], ["scarily", 4585], ["contain", 4595], ["containest", 4595], ["contained", 4595]]
jenner tried to dismiss all her worries and enjoy the snorkeling , but it was difficult when cael was always so close . what did he think she was going to do , swim to safety ? she gave herself a stern talking to . no , he was n't hovering over her , not today , he was staying nearby for safety . she should be accustomed to him being constantly close at hand , so his closeness should n't affect her at all . but it did , and there was nothing she could do about it . like it or not , the condom she 'd hidden in her underwear drawer was on her mind . it made the possibility of what might happen , what could happen , very , very real . she floated on the water as colorful fish darted past , under her body , right before her eyes . she loved the feel of the ocean against her skin as she pushed through the water , propelled forward by her arms and the gentle kick of her feet . it was like swimming in a huge tank of tropical fish , like being a part of the ocean instead of an observer . eventually she almost forgot that cael was with her . she could n't entirely dismiss him , but she almost forgot that she 'd been sleeping handcuffed , held prisoner , made to play a role as syd 's life was threatened , too . the water flowing over her skin , the abundant fish all around , was too soothing . if only she could stay here ... she lifted her head , and glanced behind her to see that she 'd drifted farther from shore than she 'd imagined . still , when she straightened , her feet touched the sandy bay floor . cael was close by - naturally - and when she stood , so did he . she pulled off her mask , deeply inhaling the fresh air . they were far away from everything , truly alone in the world , and she was tired of guessing , tired of playing games . her life was not a game ; neither was syd 's . they needed some truth between them . `` i 'm not stupid , '' she said . cael removed his mask and shook his head , sending droplets of water flying . he was a head taller than she , wet , and in better physical shape than any man she 'd ever seen in the flesh . she loved the way he looked right now , more bare than not and soaking wet . he wiped away the water that dripped down his face . `` i 've pretty much figured that out for myself . '' `` stop treating me like i 'm a prisoner . '' `` but that 's what you are , like it or not . '' `` do n't be a bonehead , '' she muttered , exasperated . she was trying to make a gesture , call a truce . `` you 're the good guys , all right ? i can put a puzzle together . larkin 's slime , and he 's involved in something dirty . you 're trying to get the goods on him . his expression was so controlled she could n't read a thing from it . `` i appreciate that , but it does n't change anything . '' she thought she might explode from frustration . he had to make everything so damn difficult . `` why do n't you go swim over there ? '' she said between gritted teeth , flinging her arm out and waving . `` i can make things easier for you , or i can make things difficult . '' he was maddening . she shouted `` numb-nuts , '' then put her mask back on , turned her back on cael , and gently reentered the water . even with the water around her ears , she heard him laugh right before the muted splash that told her he was joining her . she floated on top of the water , not working , not paddling , just there . she wanted to trust cael ; she wanted to be trusted . floating in the water , reaching toward a brightly colored fish that darted away from her , she let herself let go and just drifted . she did her best to stop worrying , to stop thinking . the problem was , when she let her guard down , old memories always shot to the surface and she got lost in another time , another breach of trust . it surprised her , that her mind went back so quickly and easily . she had n't realized how she 'd carried the betrayals of the past so strongly within her , all these years . she was always waiting to be hurt , to be used , and that had kept her from forming close bonds with any but the most trusted , who were syd and al . she did n't allow anyone else to get close , did n't allow herself to let down her guard long enough for anyone to break her heart . not a man , not a friend . she did n't mourn the loss of dylan , or even her own father , but michelle was a different story . jenner doubted the woman she 'd become and the woman michelle was now would have anything in common , but suddenly she missed her old friend as much as if they had had their falling out just yesterday .	[["jenner", 6], ["try", 12], ["tryed", 12], ["tried", 12], ["dismiss", 23], ["dismisses", 23], ["dismissest", 23], ["dismissing", 23], ["worry", 39], ["worried", 39], ["worries", 39], ["enjoy", 49], ["enjoyed", 49], ["snorkeling", 64], ["difficult", 87], ["always", 108], ["close", 117], ["think", 137], ["thinkest", 137], ["go", 151], ["goest", 151], ["going", 151], ["swim", 164], ["swiming", 164], ["safety", 174], ["give", 185], ["gave", 185], ["stern", 201], ["talk", 209], ["talking", 209], ["hover", 239], ["hovering", 239], ["today", 260], ["stay", 277], ["staying", 277], ["nearby", 284], ["constantly", 346], ["hand", 360], ["closeness", 379], ["affect", 397], ["nothing", 445], ["like", 474], ["condom", 497], ["hide", 511], ["hides", 511], ["hidden", 511], ["underwear", 528], ["drawer", 535], ["mind", 551], ["minding", 551], ["possibility", 577], ["may", 591], ["mays", 591], ["mayest", 591], ["might", 591], ["happen", 598], ["reis", 637], ["real", 637], ["float", 651], ["floated", 651], ["water", 664], ["colorful", 676], ["fish", 681], ["fishes", 681], ["fishest", 681], ["dart", 688], ["darted", 688], ["past", 693], ["body", 710], ["bodied", 710], ["right", 718], ["rightest", 718], ["eye", 734], ["eyed", 734], ["eyes", 734], ["love", 746], ["loved", 746], ["feel", 755], ["ocean", 768], ["oceans", 768], ["skin", 785], ["push", 799], ["pushed", 799], ["propel", 829], ["propeling", 829], ["propelled", 829], ["forward", 837], ["forwardest", 837], ["forwarding", 837], ["arm", 849], ["arms", 849], ["gentle", 864], ["gentler", 864], ["kick", 869], ["foot", 881], ["feet", 881], ["swim", 904], ["swiming", 904], ["huge", 914], ["tank", 919], ["tropical", 931], ["part", 956], ["parting", 956], ["instead", 977], ["observer", 992], ["eventually", 1005], ["almost", 1016], ["forget", 1023], ["forgot", 1023], ["entirely", 1071], ["slept", 1133], ["sleep", 1133], ["sleeps", 1133], ["sleepest", 1133], ["sleeping", 1133], ["handcuff", 1144], ["handcuffed", 1144], ["hold", 1151], ["held", 1151], ["prisoner", 1160], ["play", 1175], ["playest", 1175], ["role", 1182], ["syd", 1189], ["life", 1197], ["lifes", 1197], ["threaten", 1212], ["threatened", 1212], ["flow", 1238], ["flows", 1238], ["flowing", 1238], ["abundant", 1267], ["around", 1283], ["stay", 1327], ["lift", 1347], ["lifted", 1347], ["head", 1356], ["glance", 1370], ["glanced", 1370], ["behind", 1377], ["see", 1388], ["drift", 1408], ["drifting", 1408], ["drifted", 1408], ["far", 1416], ["farther", 1416], ["shore", 1427], ["imagine", 1448], ["imagined", 1448], ["still", 1456], ["straighten", 1480], ["straightened", 1480], ["touch", 1499], ["touching", 1499], ["touched", 1499], ["sandy", 1509], ["bay", 1513], ["floor", 1519], ["naturally", 1551], ["stood", 1572], ["stand", 1572], ["standest", 1572], ["pull", 1597], ["pulled", 1597], ["mask", 1610], ["maskest", 1610], ["deeply", 1619], ["inhale", 1628], ["inhaling", 1628], ["fresh", 1638], ["freshest", 1638], ["air", 1642], ["airs", 1642], ["airing", 1642], ["far", 1658], ["away", 1663], ["everything", 1679], ["truly", 1687], ["alone", 1693], ["world", 1706], ["tired", 1726], ["guess", 1738], ["guessing", 1738], ["playing", 1757], ["game", 1763], ["games", 1763], ["game", 1789], ["neither", 1799], ["need", 1824], ["needest", 1824], ["needed", 1824], ["truth", 1835], ["stupid", 1869], ["say", 1883], ["sayest", 1883], ["said", 1883], ["remove", 1898], ["removed", 1898], ["shake", 1917], ["shook", 1917], ["send", 1936], ["sending", 1936], ["droplet", 1945], ["droplets", 1945], ["tall", 1984], ["wet", 1999], ["well", 2015], ["wells", 2015], ["physical", 2024], ["shape", 2030], ["shapes", 2030], ["man", 2043], ["mans", 2043], ["manned", 2043], ["ever", 2055], ["everest", 2055], ["see", 2060], ["seen", 2060], ["flesh", 2073], ["fleshest", 2073], ["way", 2093], ["ways", 2093], ["look", 2103], ["looked", 2103], ["bare", 2125], ["soak", 2146], ["soaks", 2146], ["soaking", 2146], ["wipe", 2161], ["wiped", 2161], ["drip", 2189], ["dripped", 2189], ["face", 2203], ["pretty", 2221], ["prettiest", 2221], ["much", 2226], ["figure", 2234], ["figured", 2234], ["stop", 2267], ["treat", 2276], ["treats", 2276], ["treatest", 2276], ["treating", 2276], ["bonehead", 2379], ["mutter", 2397], ["mutterest", 2397], ["muttering", 2397], ["muttered", 2397], ["exasperate", 2411], ["exasperated", 2411], ["try", 2428], ["tryed", 2428], ["trying", 2428], ["gesture", 2446], ["call", 2453], ["truce", 2461], ["good", 2483], ["guy", 2488], ["guys", 2488], ["put", 2512], ["puzzle", 2521], ["together", 2530], ["larkin", 2539], ["slime", 2548], ["slimed", 2548], ["involve", 2569], ["involved", 2569], ["dirty", 2588], ["get", 2612], ["good", 2622], ["goods", 2622], ["expression", 2646], ["control", 2664], ["controlled", 2664], ["read", 2683], ["reads", 2683], ["thing", 2691], ["appreciate", 2717], ["appreciates", 2717], ["change", 2747], ["anything", 2756], ["think", 2773], ["thinkest", 2773], ["thought", 2773], ["explode", 2791], ["frustration", 2808], ["damn", 2844], ["damned", 2844], ["go", 2877], ["goest", 2877], ["tooth", 2929], ["teeth", 2929], ["fling", 2940], ["flung", 2940], ["flinging", 2940], ["arm", 2948], ["wave", 2963], ["waved", 2963], ["waving", 2963], ["thing", 2986], ["things", 2986], ["easy", 2993], ["easier", 2993], ["madden", 3056], ["maddens", 3056], ["maddening", 3056], ["shout", 3070], ["shouted", 3070], ["numb", 3078], ["numbs", 3078], ["numbed", 3078], ["numbest", 3078], ["nut", 3083], ["nuts", 3083], ["back", 3111], ["turn", 3123], ["turned", 3123], ["gently", 3153], ["reentering", 3163], ["even", 3180], ["evens", 3180], ["ear", 3211], ["ears", 3211], ["hear", 3223], ["hears", 3223], ["heard", 3223], ["laugh", 3233], ["splash", 3263], ["splashed", 3263], ["tell", 3273], ["told", 3273], ["join", 3292], ["joinest", 3292], ["joining", 3292], ["top", 3317], ["work", 3344], ["wrought", 3344], ["working", 3344], ["paddle", 3359], ["paddling", 3359], ["trust", 3394], ["trust", 3426], ["trusted", 3426], ["float", 3437], ["floating", 3437], ["reach", 3461], ["reaching", 3461], ["toward", 3468], ["brightly", 3479], ["colored", 3487], ["let", 3528], ["lets", 3528], ["good", 3579], ["best", 3579], ["worry", 3596], ["worried", 3596], ["worrying", 3596], ["think", 3615], ["thinkest", 3615], ["thinking", 3615], ["problem", 3629], ["guard", 3658], ["old", 3669], ["memory", 3678], ["memories", 3678], ["shoot", 3690], ["shooted", 3690], ["shot", 3690], ["surface", 3705], ["get", 3717], ["got", 3717], ["lose", 3722], ["lost", 3722], ["another", 3733], ["time", 3738], ["breach", 3755], ["breaches", 3755], ["surprise", 3779], ["surprised", 3779], ["go", 3804], ["goest", 3804], ["went", 3804], ["quickly", 3820], ["easily", 3831], ["realize", 3854], ["realized", 3854], ["carry", 3873], ["carried", 3873], ["betrayal", 3887], ["betrayals", 3887], ["strongly", 3911], ["within", 3918], ["year", 3940], ["years", 3940], ["wait", 3965], ["waitest", 3965], ["waiting", 3965], ["hurt", 3976], ["hurts", 3976], ["hurting", 3976], ["use", 3989], ["used", 3989], ["keep", 4009], ["keepest", 4009], ["kept", 4009], ["form", 4026], ["formest", 4026], ["forming", 4026], ["bond", 4038], ["bonds", 4038], ["al", 4090], ["als", 4090], ["allow", 4110], ["anyone", 4117], ["else", 4122], ["long", 4186], ["longs", 4186], ["enough", 4193], ["break", 4213], ["broke", 4213], ["heart", 4223], ["friend", 4250], ["mourn", 4270], ["mourned", 4270], ["mournest", 4270], ["mourning", 4270], ["loss", 4279], ["dylan", 4288], ["father", 4313], ["fathered", 4313], ["fathering", 4313], ["michelle", 4328], ["different", 4344], ["story", 4350], ["doubt", 4367], ["doubted", 4367], ["woman", 4377], ["womans", 4377], ["become", 4391], ["common", 4452], ["commons", 4452], ["commonest", 4452], ["suddenly", 4467], ["miss", 4478], ["missed", 4478], ["fall", 4534], ["falls", 4534], ["falling", 4534], ["yesterday", 4553], ["yesterdays", 4553]]
`` you 're giving me that look again . the fk me , my mom 's a loser look . '' lauren sat down on the coffee table . as much as she tried not to feel the sting of disappointment , it was there . she always seemed to want too much from her mother . these continual letdowns were eating through her . sometimes she imagined she could even see them as a shadow above her heart . `` the college fair was today . '' mom took another drag , frowning as she exhaled . `` that 's on tuesday . '' `` this is tuesday , mom . '' mom leaned back onto the nubby avocado-green sofa . i lost track of the days . '' she exhaled again , scooted sideways . lauren moved fast , before mom changed her mind . she snuggled next to her mother . `` i met a great guy from usc . he thought i should try and get recommendations from alumni . '' `` i guess who you know helps . '' `` only if who you know will pay the tab , too . '' lauren heard the hard edge come into her mother 's voice , and she winced . `` i 'll get a scholarship , mom . mom took a long drag on her cigarette and turned slightly , studying lauren through the filmy haze . lauren braced herself . `` i thought i 'd get a scholarship , too , you know . '' i got an a+ on my honors history paper . '' lauren tried to get up . mom grabbed her wrist , held her in place . `` my grades were okay , '' mom said , unsmiling , her brown eyes growing even darker . `` i lettered in track and basketball . my test scores were damn respectable , too . and i was beautiful . they said i looked like heather locklear . '' she edged sideways , put a tiny space between them . `` then i went to the sadie hawkins dance with thad marlow . '' `` a few kisses , a few shots of tequila , and there i was with my dress up around my waist . i did n't know then that i was fked in more ways than just the one . four months later i was a senior in high school , shopping for maternity dresses . no scholarship for me . no college , no decent job . if one of your stepfathers had n't paid for beauty school , i 'd probably be living in the street and eating other people 's leftovers . so , missy , you keep your -- '' `` knees shut . believe me , mom ; i know how i ruined your life . '' `` ruined is harsh , '' mom said with a tired sigh . `` i never said ruined . '' `` i wonder if he had other children , '' lauren said . she 'd asked this same question every time her father 's name was mentioned . she could n't seem to help herself , though she knew the answer by heart . he ran from me like i had the plague . '' `` i just ... wish i had relatives , that 's all . '' mom exhaled smoke . `` believe me , family is overrated . oh , they 're fine till you screw up , but then , wham ! , they break your heart . do n't you count on people , lauren . '' lauren had heard all this before . `` i just wish -- '' `` do n't . it 'll only hurt you . '' lauren looked at her mother . four for the next few days , angie did what she did best : she threw herself into a project . she woke long before dawn and spent all day studying . she called friends and former clients -- anyone who 'd ever been involved in the restaurant or food service business -- and wrote down every word of their advice . then she read and reread the account books until she understood every dollar that came in and every penny that went out . when she finished that , she went to the library . hour after hour , she sat at the cheap formica table with books and articles strewn out in front of her . after that , she parked herself at the microfiche machine and read the archived material . at six o'clock , the librarian , mrs. martin , who 'd been old when angie got her first library card , turned off the lights . angie got the hint . she carried several armfuls of books to her car and drove back to the cottage , where she kept reading long into the night . she fell asleep on the sofa , which was infinitely preferable to being in bed alone . while she was doing her research , her family called like clockwork . she answered each call politely , talked for a few moments , then gently hung up . she would , she said repeatedly , let them know when she was ready to see the restaurant . at each such call , mama snorted and said crisply , you can not learn without doing , angela . to which angie replied , i ca n't do without learning , mama .	[["give", 17], ["giving", 17], ["look", 30], ["mom", 59], ["moms", 59], ["loser", 70], ["lauren", 87], ["sat", 91], ["sit", 91], ["coffee", 110], ["table", 116], ["tabled", 116], ["tabling", 116], ["much", 126], ["try", 139], ["tryed", 139], ["tried", 139], ["feel", 151], ["sting", 161], ["stung", 161], ["stinging", 161], ["disappointment", 179], ["always", 207], ["seem", 214], ["seeming", 214], ["seemed", 214], ["mother", 247], ["mothered", 247], ["motherest", 247], ["continual", 265], ["letdown", 274], ["letdowns", 274], ["eat", 286], ["eating", 286], ["imagine", 323], ["imagined", 323], ["even", 338], ["evens", 338], ["see", 342], ["shadow", 359], ["shadowed", 359], ["heart", 375], ["college", 392], ["fair", 397], ["fairs", 397], ["fairest", 397], ["today", 407], ["take", 421], ["took", 421], ["another", 429], ["drag", 434], ["frown", 445], ["frowns", 445], ["exhale", 460], ["exhaled", 460], ["tuesday", 484], ["lean", 530], ["leans", 530], ["leaned", 530], ["back", 535], ["onto", 540], ["ontos", 540], ["nubby", 550], ["avocado", 558], ["avocados", 558], ["green", 564], ["greens", 564], ["sofa", 569], ["lose", 578], ["lost", 578], ["track", 584], ["day", 596], ["days", 596], ["scoot", 629], ["sideways", 638], ["move", 653], ["moved", 653], ["fast", 658], ["change", 679], ["changed", 679], ["mind", 688], ["minding", 688], ["snuggle", 703], ["snuggled", 703], ["next", 708], ["meet", 733], ["meeted", 733], ["met", 733], ["great", 741], ["guy", 745], ["usc", 754], ["think", 767], ["thinkest", 767], ["thought", 767], ["try", 780], ["tryed", 780], ["get", 788], ["recommendation", 804], ["recommendations", 804], ["alumnus", 816], ["alumni", 816], ["guess", 832], ["know", 845], ["knowest", 845], ["help", 851], ["helpest", 851], ["helps", 851], ["pay", 889], ["pays", 889], ["payest", 889], ["tab", 897], ["tabs", 897], ["tabbed", 897], ["hear", 921], ["hears", 921], ["heard", 921], ["hard", 930], ["edge", 935], ["edges", 935], ["come", 940], ["voice", 965], ["wince", 982], ["winced", 982], ["scholarship", 1011], ["long", 1035], ["longs", 1035], ["cigarette", 1057], ["turn", 1068], ["turned", 1068], ["slightly", 1077], ["study", 1088], ["studying", 1088], ["filmy", 1113], ["haze", 1118], ["hazes", 1118], ["brace", 1134], ["braced", 1134], ["get", 1208], ["got", 1208], ["honor", 1227], ["honors", 1227], ["history", 1235], ["paper", 1241], ["grab", 1283], ["grabbed", 1283], ["wrist", 1293], ["hold", 1300], ["held", 1300], ["place", 1313], ["grade", 1328], ["grades", 1328], ["okay", 1338], ["say", 1352], ["sayest", 1352], ["said", 1352], ["unsmiling", 1364], ["brown", 1376], ["browns", 1376], ["eye", 1381], ["eyed", 1381], ["eyes", 1381], ["grow", 1389], ["growest", 1389], ["growing", 1389], ["letter", 1417], ["lettering", 1417], ["lettered", 1417], ["basketball", 1441], ["test", 1451], ["score", 1458], ["scores", 1458], ["damn", 1468], ["damned", 1468], ["respectable", 1480], ["beautiful", 1508], ["beautifulest", 1508], ["look", 1529], ["looked", 1529], ["like", 1534], ["heather", 1542], ["edge", 1566], ["edges", 1566], ["edged", 1566], ["put", 1581], ["tiny", 1588], ["space", 1594], ["spaced", 1594], ["spacing", 1594], ["go", 1624], ["goest", 1624], ["went", 1624], ["sadie", 1637], ["dance", 1651], ["thad", 1661], ["marlow", 1668], ["kiss", 1689], ["kisses", 1689], ["kissest", 1689], ["shot", 1703], ["shots", 1703], ["tequila", 1714], ["tequilas", 1714], ["dress", 1746], ["dressest", 1746], ["around", 1756], ["waist", 1765], ["way", 1818], ["ways", 1818], ["four", 1843], ["month", 1850], ["months", 1850], ["later", 1856], ["senior", 1871], ["high", 1879], ["school", 1886], ["schooling", 1886], ["shop", 1897], ["maternity", 1911], ["dress", 1919], ["dressest", 1919], ["dresses", 1919], ["decent", 1968], ["job", 1972], ["jobbing", 1972], ["stepfather", 2001], ["stepfathers", 2001], ["pay", 2014], ["pays", 2014], ["payest", 2014], ["paid", 2014], ["beauty", 2025], ["probably", 2048], ["live", 2058], ["living", 2058], ["street", 2072], ["people", 2096], ["leftover", 2109], ["leftovers", 2109], ["missy", 2122], ["keep", 2133], ["keepest", 2133], ["knee", 2153], ["knees", 2153], ["shut", 2158], ["believe", 2168], ["ruin", 2199], ["ruinest", 2199], ["ruined", 2199], ["life", 2209], ["lifes", 2209], ["harsh", 2233], ["tired", 2260], ["sigh", 2265], ["sighest", 2265], ["never", 2278], ["wonder", 2307], ["wonderest", 2307], ["child", 2332], ["childs", 2332], ["children", 2332], ["ask", 2364], ["asked", 2364], ["question", 2383], ["every", 2389], ["time", 2394], ["father", 2405], ["fathered", 2405], ["fathering", 2405], ["name", 2413], ["mention", 2427], ["mentioned", 2427], ["seem", 2448], ["seeming", 2448], ["help", 2456], ["helpest", 2456], ["though", 2473], ["know", 2482], ["knowest", 2482], ["knew", 2482], ["answer", 2493], ["answeres", 2493], ["answerest", 2493], ["run", 2511], ["ran", 2511], ["plague", 2541], ["plagued", 2541], ["wish", 2565], ["relative", 2581], ["relatives", 2581], ["smoke", 2618], ["family", 2643], ["overrate", 2656], ["overrating", 2656], ["overrated", 2656], ["oh", 2661], ["fine", 2677], ["till", 2682], ["screw", 2692], ["screwing", 2692], ["wham", 2713], ["whams", 2713], ["break", 2728], ["broke", 2728], ["count", 2758], ["countest", 2758], ["hurt", 2867], ["hurts", 2867], ["hurting", 2867], ["angie", 2941], ["well", 2963], ["wells", 2963], ["throw", 2975], ["threw", 2975], ["project", 2998], ["projectest", 2998], ["wake", 3009], ["wakes", 3009], ["woken", 3009], ["woke", 3009], ["dawn", 3026], ["dawnest", 3026], ["spend", 3036], ["spends", 3036], ["spendest", 3036], ["spent", 3036], ["day", 3044], ["call", 3066], ["called", 3066], ["friend", 3074], ["friends", 3074], ["former", 3085], ["client", 3093], ["clients", 3093], ["anyone", 3103], ["ever", 3115], ["everest", 3115], ["involve", 3129], ["involved", 3129], ["restaurant", 3147], ["food", 3155], ["foods", 3155], ["service", 3163], ["servicing", 3163], ["business", 3172], ["write", 3185], ["writing", 3185], ["wrote", 3185], ["word", 3201], ["advice", 3217], ["read", 3233], ["reads", 3233], ["reread", 3244], ["rereads", 3244], ["rereading", 3244], ["account", 3256], ["book", 3262], ["books", 3262], ["understand", 3283], ["understanded", 3283], ["understood", 3283], ["dollar", 3296], ["come", 3306], ["came", 3306], ["penny", 3325], ["finish", 3359], ["finished", 3359], ["library", 3390], ["hour", 3397], ["cheap", 3431], ["formica", 3439], ["article", 3469], ["articles", 3469], ["strew", 3476], ["strews", 3476], ["strewn", 3476], ["front", 3489], ["park", 3522], ["parks", 3522], ["parked", 3522], ["microfiche", 3548], ["machine", 3556], ["material", 3587], ["six", 3596], ["librarian", 3620], ["librarians", 3620], ["mrs", 3626], ["martin", 3634], ["old", 3652], ["first", 3677], ["firstest", 3677], ["card", 3690], ["lit", 3714], ["light", 3714], ["lights", 3714], ["hint", 3735], ["hinting", 3735], ["carry", 3749], ["carried", 3749], ["several", 3757], ["armful", 3765], ["armfuls", 3765], ["car", 3785], ["drive", 3795], ["drove", 3795], ["cottage", 3815], ["keep", 3832], ["keepest", 3832], ["kept", 3832], ["read", 3840], ["reads", 3840], ["reading", 3840], ["night", 3860], ["fall", 3871], ["falls", 3871], ["fell", 3871], ["asleep", 3878], ["infinitely", 3913], ["preferable", 3924], ["bed", 3940], ["alone", 3946], ["research", 3981], ["clockwork", 4016], ["clockworks", 4016], ["answer", 4031], ["answeres", 4031], ["answerest", 4031], ["answered", 4031], ["call", 4041], ["politely", 4050], ["talk", 4059], ["talked", 4059], ["moment", 4077], ["moments", 4077], ["gently", 4091], ["hung", 4096], ["hang", 4096], ["hangs", 4096], ["repeatedly", 4133], ["let", 4139], ["lets", 4139], ["ready", 4168], ["mama", 4217], ["mamas", 4217], ["snort", 4225], ["snortest", 4225], ["snorted", 4225], ["crisply", 4242], ["learn", 4262], ["learnt", 4262], ["learns", 4262], ["without", 4270], ["angela", 4285], ["reply", 4310], ["replied", 4310], ["ca", 4317], ["cas", 4317], ["learning", 4341]]
even dressed as he is , he gives the impression of a flinty irishman who 's just come in off the bogs where he 's been gathering peat . maybe it 's the haircut . his gray hair looks windblown , even though there is n't a breeze stirring in this windowless room . his eyes are a dangerous blue ; he does n't like anyone messing with the law , male or female . `` i stopped by to see him , '' cynthia says , `` because he really had n't been feeling too good these days , and i was worried about him . i 'd spoken to him the night before ... '' `` what time was that ? '' carella asks . `` around nine o'clock . '' all three detectives are thinking he was still alive at nine last night . whatever happened to him , it happened sometime after nine p.m . her father 's apartment is a forty-minute subway ride from where she lives across the river in calm 's point . her husband usually leaves for work at seven-thirty . their habit is to have breakfast together in their apartment overlooking the river . after he 's gone , she gets ready for her own day . they have no children , but neither does she work , perhaps because she never really trained for anything , and at thirty-seven there 's nothing productive she can really do . besides - she has never mentioned this to a soul before but she tells it now in the cramped confines of the interrogation room , three detectives sitting attentively stone-faced on one side of the table , her husband and her attorney sitting equally detached on the other . she does n't know why she admits this to these men now , here in this confessional chamber , at this moment in time , but she tells them without hesitation that she never thought of herself as being particularly bright , just an average girl ( she uses the word `` girl '' ) in every way , not too pretty , not too smart , just , well ... cynthia . cynthia is not one of the ladies who lunch , but she nonetheless busies herself mindlessly throughout the day , shopping , going to galleries or museums , sometimes catching an afternoon movie , generally killing the time between seven-thirty a.m. when her husband leaves for work and seven-thirty at night , when he gets home . `` he 's in corporate law , '' she says , as if this completely explains his twelve-hour day . she is grateful , in fact , for the opportunity to visit her father . it gives her something to do . she does not , in all truth , enjoy her father 's company very much . she confesses this , too , to the pickup jury of five men who sit noncommittally around the long table scarred with the cigarette burns of too many long interrogations over too many long years . it is almost as if she has been wishing to confess forever . she has not yet said a word about tampering or obstructing , but she seems willing to confess to everything else she has ever done or felt . it suddenly occurs to carella that she is a woman who has nobody to talk to . for the first time in her life , cynthia keating has an audience . and the audience is giving her its undivided attention . `` he 's a bore , '' she tells them . he was a bore when he was young , and now that he 's old , he 's an even bigger bore . well , he used to be a nurse , is that an occupation for a man ? now that he 's retired , all he can talk about is this or that patient he remembers when he worked at 'the hospital . ' i do n't think he even remembers which hospital it was . it 's just 'the hospital . ' this or that happened at 'the hospital . ' it 's all he ever talks about . '' the detectives notice that she is still referring to her father in the present tense , but this is not uncommon , and does not register as anything significant . they are patiently waiting for her to get to tampering and obstruction . that is why they are here . they want to know what happened in that apartment between nine o'clock last night and ten-oh-seven this morning , when she dialed 911 . she has dressed for today 's weather in a green tweed skirt and turtleneck sweater she bought at the gap . low-heeled walking shoes and pantyhose to match the skirt . she likes walking . the forecasters have promised rain for later today ... it is , in fact , still raining as she continues her recitation , but none of the people in the windowless room know or care about what 's happening outside ... ... and so she is carrying a folding umbrella in a tote bag slung over her shoulder . the subway station is n't far from her apartment . she boards the train at about twenty to nine , and is across the river and in the city forty minutes later . it is only a short walk to her father 's building . she enters it at about nine-thirty . she remembers seeing the super putting out his garbage cans .	[["even", 4], ["evens", 4], ["give", 32], ["gives", 32], ["impression", 47], ["flinty", 59], ["irishmen", 68], ["irishman", 68], ["come", 85], ["bog", 101], ["bogs", 101], ["gather", 128], ["gatherest", 128], ["peat", 133], ["maybe", 141], ["haircut", 159], ["haircuts", 159], ["gray", 170], ["grays", 170], ["hair", 175], ["look", 181], ["looks", 181], ["windblown", 191], ["though", 205], ["breeze", 227], ["breezing", 227], ["stir", 236], ["stirs", 236], ["stirring", 236], ["windowless", 255], ["room", 260], ["roomed", 260], ["eye", 271], ["eyed", 271], ["eyes", 271], ["dangerous", 287], ["blue", 292], ["like", 311], ["anyone", 318], ["mess", 326], ["messed", 326], ["messing", 326], ["law", 339], ["male", 346], ["males", 346], ["female", 356], ["stop", 371], ["stopped", 371], ["see", 381], ["cynthia", 398], ["say", 403], ["sayest", 403], ["says", 403], ["really", 426], ["feel", 447], ["feeling", 447], ["good", 456], ["day", 467], ["days", 467], ["speak", 511], ["spoken", 511], ["night", 528], ["time", 555], ["ask", 582], ["asks", 582], ["around", 594], ["nine", 599], ["three", 622], ["detective", 633], ["detectives", 633], ["think", 646], ["thinkest", 646], ["thinking", 646], ["still", 659], ["alive", 665], ["last", 678], ["whatever", 695], ["happen", 704], ["happened", 704], ["sometime", 734], ["father", 762], ["fathered", 762], ["fathering", 762], ["apartment", 775], ["forty", 786], ["minute", 793], ["subway", 800], ["ride", 805], ["rode", 805], ["live", 826], ["across", 833], ["river", 843], ["calm", 851], ["calms", 851], ["point", 860], ["husband", 874], ["husbanding", 874], ["usually", 882], ["left", 889], ["leave", 889], ["leaves", 889], ["work", 898], ["wrought", 898], ["seven", 907], ["thirty", 914], ["habit", 928], ["habiting", 928], ["breakfast", 949], ["together", 958], ["overlook", 989], ["overlooking", 989], ["go", 1018], ["goest", 1018], ["gone", 1018], ["get", 1029], ["gets", 1029], ["ready", 1035], ["day", 1051], ["child", 1075], ["childs", 1075], ["children", 1075], ["neither", 1089], ["perhaps", 1113], ["never", 1131], ["train", 1146], ["trained", 1146], ["anything", 1159], ["nothing", 1198], ["productive", 1209], ["besides", 1237], ["mention", 1263], ["mentioned", 1263], ["soul", 1278], ["tell", 1299], ["tells", 1299], ["cramp", 1321], ["cramping", 1321], ["cramped", 1321], ["confine", 1330], ["confines", 1330], ["interrogation", 1351], ["sat", 1383], ["sit", 1383], ["sitting", 1383], ["attentively", 1395], ["stone", 1401], ["stoning", 1401], ["face", 1407], ["faced", 1407], ["side", 1419], ["sidest", 1419], ["table", 1432], ["tabled", 1432], ["tabling", 1432], ["attorney", 1463], ["equally", 1479], ["detach", 1488], ["detachest", 1488], ["detached", 1488], ["know", 1521], ["knowest", 1521], ["admit", 1536], ["admits", 1536], ["man", 1554], ["mans", 1554], ["manned", 1554], ["men", 1554], ["confessional", 1586], ["chamber", 1594], ["moment", 1611], ["without", 1648], ["hesitation", 1659], ["think", 1682], ["thinkest", 1682], ["thought", 1682], ["particularly", 1715], ["bright", 1722], ["brights", 1722], ["average", 1740], ["girl", 1745], ["use", 1756], ["uses", 1756], ["word", 1765], ["every", 1787], ["way", 1791], ["ways", 1791], ["pretty", 1808], ["prettiest", 1808], ["smart", 1824], ["well", 1838], ["wells", 1838], ["lady", 1885], ["ladies", 1885], ["lunch", 1895], ["lunched", 1895], ["lunches", 1895], ["nonetheless", 1917], ["busy", 1924], ["busied", 1924], ["mindlessly", 1943], ["throughout", 1954], ["shopping", 1973], ["go", 1981], ["goest", 1981], ["going", 1981], ["gallery", 1994], ["galleries", 1994], ["museum", 2005], ["museums", 2005], ["catch", 2026], ["catches", 2026], ["catched", 2026], ["catching", 2026], ["afternoon", 2039], ["movie", 2045], ["generally", 2057], ["kill", 2065], ["killing", 2065], ["home", 2179], ["homing", 2179], ["corporate", 2203], ["completely", 2245], ["explain", 2254], ["explains", 2254], ["twelve", 2265], ["twelves", 2265], ["hour", 2270], ["grateful", 2292], ["fact", 2302], ["opportunity", 2324], ["visit", 2333], ["truth", 2405], ["enjoy", 2413], ["enjoyed", 2413], ["company", 2435], ["companys", 2435], ["companying", 2435], ["much", 2445], ["confess", 2461], ["confessest", 2461], ["pickup", 2488], ["jury", 2493], ["jurys", 2493], ["five", 2501], ["fived", 2501], ["sat", 2513], ["sit", 2513], ["noncommittally", 2528], ["long", 2544], ["longs", 2544], ["scar", 2558], ["scarred", 2558], ["cigarette", 2577], ["burn", 2583], ["burns", 2583], ["many", 2595], ["interrogation", 2615], ["year", 2640], ["years", 2640], ["almost", 2655], ["wish", 2682], ["wishing", 2682], ["confess", 2693], ["confessest", 2693], ["forever", 2701], ["yet", 2719], ["say", 2724], ["sayest", 2724], ["said", 2724], ["tamper", 2747], ["tampering", 2747], ["obstruct", 2762], ["obstructing", 2762], ["seem", 2778], ["seeming", 2778], ["seems", 2778], ["willing", 2786], ["everything", 2811], ["else", 2816], ["ever", 2829], ["everest", 2829], ["feel", 2842], ["felt", 2842], ["suddenly", 2856], ["occur", 2863], ["occurest", 2863], ["occurs", 2863], ["woman", 2894], ["womans", 2894], ["nobody", 2909], ["talk", 2917], ["first", 2936], ["firstest", 2936], ["life", 2953], ["lifes", 2953], ["audience", 2987], ["give", 3016], ["giving", 3016], ["undivided", 3034], ["attention", 3044], ["bore", 3062], ["bored", 3062], ["boring", 3062], ["young", 3116], ["youngest", 3116], ["old", 3141], ["big", 3164], ["bigs", 3164], ["bigger", 3164], ["use", 3186], ["used", 3186], ["nurse", 3200], ["occupation", 3224], ["man", 3234], ["mans", 3234], ["manned", 3234], ["retire", 3259], ["retired", 3259], ["patient", 3307], ["remember", 3320], ["rememberest", 3320], ["remembers", 3320], ["work", 3335], ["wrought", 3335], ["worked", 3335], ["hospital", 3352], ["think", 3371], ["thinkest", 3371], ["talk", 3509], ["talks", 3509], ["notice", 3542], ["refer", 3570], ["referring", 3570], ["present", 3599], ["presentest", 3599], ["tense", 3605], ["uncommon", 3632], ["register", 3656], ["significant", 3680], ["patiently", 3701], ["wait", 3709], ["waitest", 3709], ["waiting", 3709], ["get", 3724], ["obstruction", 3753], ["ten", 3873], ["oh", 3876], ["morning", 3895], ["dial", 3913], ["dialed", 3913], ["dress", 3935], ["dressest", 3935], ["dressed", 3935], ["today", 3945], ["weather", 3956], ["green", 3967], ["greens", 3967], ["tweed", 3973], ["skirt", 3979], ["turtleneck", 3994], ["sweater", 4002], ["buy", 4013], ["buyed", 4013], ["bought", 4013], ["gap", 4024], ["gaps", 4024], ["gapping", 4024], ["low", 4030], ["lowed", 4030], ["walk", 4045], ["walking", 4045], ["shoe", 4051], ["shoed", 4051], ["shoes", 4051], ["pantyhose", 4065], ["match", 4074], ["matching", 4074], ["like", 4096], ["likes", 4096], ["forecaster", 4122], ["forecasters", 4122], ["promise", 4136], ["promised", 4136], ["rain", 4141], ["later", 4151], ["rain", 4193], ["raining", 4193], ["continue", 4210], ["continues", 4210], ["recitation", 4225], ["none", 4236], ["people", 4250], ["care", 4286], ["happen", 4310], ["happening", 4310], ["outside", 4318], ["carry", 4349], ["carrying", 4349], ["fold", 4359], ["folding", 4359], ["umbrella", 4368], ["umbrellas", 4368], ["tote", 4378], ["bag", 4382], ["bagged", 4382], ["bagging", 4382], ["sling", 4388], ["slung", 4388], ["shoulder", 4406], ["shouldered", 4406], ["station", 4427], ["far", 4438], ["board", 4470], ["boarding", 4470], ["boards", 4470], ["train", 4480], ["twenty", 4496], ["city", 4546], ["minute", 4560], ["minutes", 4560], ["short", 4587], ["walk", 4592], ["build", 4618], ["building", 4618], ["enter", 4631], ["enters", 4631], ["see", 4678], ["seeing", 4678], ["super", 4688], ["put", 4696], ["putting", 4696], ["garbage", 4712], ["garbaged", 4712]]
with a loud huff , georgia opened her car door and got in , slamming it behind her . realizing that this was going to be a stressful ride home , i got in and buckled up , silently willing the car ride to go quickly . we drove for miles in silence , an awkward pause settling over us . georgia was transmitting irritation and frustration so vividly that it was making my head hurt , even with my shields in place . i could hear stefan 's fingers tapping away on his phone from the back seat . he 'd chosen to ignore the tension and had preoccupied himself with reading e-mails . georgia asked anxiously . she was gripping the steering wheel tightly , her knuckles almost white . however long it takes me to get my things sorted and accounts closed out . '' an uneasy quiet filled the car again . i was armed with the knowledge that georgia was just waiting for the right time to unleash on me . she was biding her time and playing nice for the moment . `` i thought you did n't like big crowds . new york city is kinda known for that , '' georgia remarked , glancing away from the road and giving me a pointed look . `` you 're right , i do n't like big crowds . i think this is a good move for me , '' i commented , rubbing my hands together nervously . stefan cleared his throat from the back seat , reminding me he was still present . `` i mean it 's a good move for us . stefan has business there , my book publisher is there . it 's kind of a win/win for both of us . '' she let out a loud , overly dramatic sigh . `` yeah , it 's a win/win for you , '' georgia mumbled under her breath , figuring neither of us could hear her . unbeknownst to her , stefan could hear a pin drop a mile away , and thanks to my much improved hearing , her words were as clear as if she 'd yelled them . `` what kind of business does stefan do , josie ? '' she was going to continue her charade of pretending that stefan was n't in the car , choosing to let her immature , obnoxious side take over . i was relieved to see my villa approaching as we climbed over a small hill in the road . she slowed and turned into my driveway , the gravel crunching under her tires . `` i own some properties in the new york area . i can work from anywhere , however it is helpful to be close by to manage the day to day operations , '' stefan answered her , ignoring the fact that georgia had directed the question to me . internally rolling my eyes at stefan 's obvious understatement of his wealth , i sighed as she parked in front of my villa . she finally acknowledged stefan as she peered at him in the rearview mirror , her blue eyes flashing as she turned off her car . `` well , goodie for you , stefan . so you just figured you 'd just be your normal over-bearing self and drag josie along with you . 'cause i 'm sure you figure she does n't have anything better to do besides follow your ass all over the world . '' ... and she was off . moving quickly , i unfastened my seat belt and leaped out of the car . i was going to attempt to head off stefan and get between them before she could say anything else . he was already out of the car , his six-foot-four frame barreling around the front of the car to georgia 's door . managing to cut him off , i placed my hands against his chest and looked up at him with imploring eyes . i understood his frustration . i was also trying to figure out her real problem with stefan . she antagonized stefan at every turn and was testing his patience . `` stefan , please . do n't let her do this . she 's trying to get you angry , '' i silently pleaded with him . his chest pushed against my hands for a moment . he closed his eyes for a second and drew in a deep , unnecessary breath . when his blue eyes reopened , he looked down at me wearily . `` i am only tolerating this because she is your friend and i love you . know and remember this . '' my shoulders sagged in relief as i sent him my mental thoughts . `` georgia , open the trunk please , '' i called out . the trunk lid popped open and i placed my keys in his hand , my fingers lingering against his longer than necessary . take our bags inside and let me talk to her , ok ? '' i thought to him , trying to force a tiny smile . he nodded imperceptibly and turned to head to the back of the car , pulling our luggage out . he headed towards the front porch with the bag in one hand , impatiently jingling the keys in the other .	[["loud", 11], ["huff", 16], ["huffs", 16], ["georgia", 26], ["georgias", 26], ["open", 33], ["opened", 33], ["car", 41], ["door", 46], ["get", 54], ["got", 54], ["slam", 68], ["slamming", 68], ["behind", 78], ["realize", 94], ["realizing", 94], ["go", 114], ["goest", 114], ["going", 114], ["stressful", 132], ["ride", 137], ["rode", 137], ["home", 142], ["homing", 142], ["buckle", 165], ["buckled", 165], ["silently", 179], ["willing", 187], ["go", 206], ["goest", 206], ["quickly", 214], ["drive", 225], ["drove", 225], ["mile", 235], ["miles", 235], ["silence", 246], ["awkward", 259], ["pause", 265], ["settle", 274], ["settling", 274], ["transmit", 309], ["transmitting", 309], ["irritation", 320], ["frustration", 336], ["vividly", 347], ["head", 374], ["hurt", 379], ["hurts", 379], ["hurting", 379], ["even", 386], ["evens", 386], ["shield", 402], ["shields", 402], ["place", 411], ["hear", 426], ["hears", 426], ["stefan", 433], ["finger", 444], ["fingers", 444], ["tap", 452], ["tapping", 452], ["away", 457], ["phone", 470], ["back", 484], ["seat", 489], ["choose", 504], ["chosen", 504], ["ignore", 514], ["tension", 526], ["preoccupy", 546], ["preoccupied", 546], ["read", 567], ["reads", 567], ["reading", 567], ["e", 569], ["ing", 569], ["eest", 569], ["ask", 591], ["asked", 591], ["anxiously", 601], ["grip", 620], ["gripping", 620], ["steering", 633], ["wheel", 639], ["wheeled", 639], ["tightly", 647], ["knuckle", 662], ["knuckles", 662], ["knuckling", 662], ["almost", 669], ["white", 675], ["however", 685], ["long", 690], ["longs", 690], ["take", 699], ["takes", 699], ["get", 709], ["thing", 719], ["things", 719], ["sort", 726], ["sorted", 726], ["account", 739], ["accounts", 739], ["close", 746], ["closed", 746], ["uneasy", 765], ["quiet", 771], ["fill", 778], ["fills", 778], ["filled", 778], ["arm", 806], ["knowledge", 825], ["wait", 855], ["waitest", 855], ["waiting", 855], ["right", 869], ["rightest", 869], ["time", 874], ["unleash", 885], ["unleashest", 885], ["bide", 908], ["biding", 908], ["play", 929], ["playest", 929], ["playing", 929], ["nice", 934], ["moment", 949], ["think", 964], ["thinkest", 964], ["thought", 964], ["like", 981], ["big", 985], ["bigs", 985], ["crowd", 992], ["crowdest", 992], ["crowding", 992], ["crowds", 992], ["new", 998], ["york", 1003], ["yorks", 1003], ["city", 1008], ["kinda", 1017], ["kindas", 1017], ["know", 1023], ["knowest", 1023], ["known", 1023], ["remark", 1054], ["remarkest", 1054], ["remarking", 1054], ["remarked", 1054], ["glance", 1065], ["glancing", 1065], ["road", 1084], ["give", 1095], ["giving", 1095], ["look", 1113], ["think", 1169], ["thinkest", 1169], ["good", 1184], ["move", 1189], ["comment", 1213], ["commented", 1213], ["rub", 1223], ["rubbing", 1223], ["hand", 1232], ["hands", 1232], ["together", 1241], ["nervously", 1251], ["clear", 1268], ["clearest", 1268], ["cleared", 1268], ["throat", 1279], ["remind", 1310], ["reminding", 1310], ["still", 1326], ["present", 1334], ["presentest", 1334], ["mean", 1346], ["meanest", 1346], ["business", 1393], ["book", 1409], ["publisher", 1419], ["kind", 1441], ["win", 1450], ["let", 1482], ["lets", 1482], ["overly", 1502], ["dramatic", 1511], ["sigh", 1516], ["sighest", 1516], ["yeah", 1526], ["mumble", 1573], ["mumbles", 1573], ["mumbled", 1573], ["breath", 1590], ["breathest", 1590], ["figure", 1601], ["figuring", 1601], ["neither", 1609], ["unbeknownst", 1644], ["pin", 1677], ["drop", 1682], ["mile", 1689], ["miles", 1689], ["thank", 1707], ["thanks", 1707], ["thankest", 1707], ["much", 1718], ["hearing", 1735], ["word", 1747], ["words", 1747], ["clear", 1761], ["clearest", 1761], ["yell", 1781], ["yelled", 1781], ["josie", 1836], ["continue", 1867], ["charade", 1879], ["pretend", 1893], ["pretendest", 1893], ["pretending", 1893], ["choose", 1935], ["choosing", 1935], ["immature", 1955], ["obnoxious", 1967], ["side", 1972], ["sidest", 1972], ["take", 1977], ["relieve", 1999], ["relieved", 1999], ["see", 2006], ["villa", 2015], ["villas", 2015], ["approach", 2027], ["approaches", 2027], ["approaching", 2027], ["climb", 2041], ["climbed", 2041], ["small", 2054], ["hill", 2059], ["slow", 2084], ["slowed", 2084], ["turn", 2095], ["turned", 2095], ["driveway", 2112], ["gravel", 2125], ["crunch", 2135], ["crunching", 2135], ["tire", 2151], ["tires", 2151], ["property", 2178], ["properties", 2178], ["area", 2199], ["work", 2212], ["wrought", 2212], ["anywhere", 2226], ["helpful", 2250], ["close", 2262], ["manage", 2275], ["day", 2283], ["operation", 2301], ["operations", 2301], ["answer", 2322], ["answeres", 2322], ["answerest", 2322], ["answered", 2322], ["ignore", 2337], ["ignoring", 2337], ["fact", 2346], ["direct", 2372], ["directed", 2372], ["question", 2385], ["internally", 2404], ["roll", 2412], ["rolling", 2412], ["eye", 2420], ["eyed", 2420], ["eyes", 2420], ["obvious", 2441], ["understatement", 2456], ["wealth", 2470], ["sigh", 2481], ["sighest", 2481], ["sighed", 2481], ["park", 2495], ["parks", 2495], ["parked", 2495], ["front", 2504], ["finally", 2530], ["acknowledge", 2543], ["acknowledged", 2543], ["peer", 2564], ["peered", 2564], ["rearview", 2587], ["mirror", 2594], ["blue", 2605], ["flash", 2619], ["flashing", 2619], ["well", 2655], ["wells", 2655], ["goodie", 2664], ["figure", 2703], ["figured", 2703], ["normal", 2730], ["bore", 2743], ["bear", 2743], ["bearest", 2743], ["bearing", 2743], ["self", 2748], ["drag", 2757], ["along", 2769], ["sure", 2797], ["figure", 2808], ["anything", 2835], ["well", 2842], ["wells", 2842], ["besides", 2856], ["follow", 2863], ["ass", 2872], ["world", 2891], ["move", 2925], ["moving", 2925], ["unfasten", 2948], ["unfastens", 2948], ["belt", 2961], ["belts", 2961], ["belted", 2961], ["belting", 2961], ["beltest", 2961], ["leap", 2972], ["leaps", 2972], ["leaping", 2972], ["leaped", 2972], ["attempt", 3012], ["say", 3073], ["sayest", 3073], ["else", 3087], ["already", 3104], ["six", 3129], ["foot", 3134], ["four", 3139], ["frame", 3145], ["barrel", 3155], ["barreling", 3155], ["around", 3162], ["manage", 3213], ["managing", 3213], ["cut", 3220], ["place", 3239], ["placed", 3239], ["chest", 3266], ["look", 3277], ["looked", 3277], ["understand", 3322], ["understanded", 3322], ["understood", 3322], ["also", 3351], ["try", 3358], ["tryed", 3358], ["trying", 3358], ["reis", 3381], ["real", 3381], ["problem", 3389], ["antagonize", 3419], ["antagonizes", 3419], ["antagonized", 3419], ["every", 3435], ["turn", 3440], ["test", 3456], ["patience", 3469], ["please", 3490], ["angry", 3548], ["plead", 3572], ["pleaded", 3572], ["push", 3600], ["pushed", 3600], ["second", 3664], ["seconded", 3664], ["draw", 3673], ["draws", 3673], ["drawn", 3673], ["drew", 3673], ["deep", 3683], ["deeply", 3683], ["unnecessary", 3697], ["reopen", 3734], ["reopenest", 3734], ["reopened", 3734], ["wearily", 3765], ["tolerate", 3791], ["tolerating", 3791], ["friend", 3823], ["love", 3834], ["know", 3845], ["knowest", 3845], ["remember", 3858], ["rememberest", 3858], ["shoulder", 3881], ["shouldered", 3881], ["shoulders", 3881], ["sag", 3888], ["sagged", 3888], ["relief", 3898], ["reliefs", 3898], ["send", 3908], ["sent", 3908], ["mental", 3922], ["thought", 3931], ["thoughts", 3931], ["open", 3951], ["trunk", 3961], ["call", 3982], ["called", 3982], ["lid", 4002], ["pop", 4009], ["popped", 4009], ["key", 4035], ["keyed", 4035], ["keyest", 4035], ["keys", 4035], ["hand", 4047], ["linger", 4070], ["lingered", 4070], ["lingering", 4070], ["long", 4089], ["longs", 4089], ["necessary", 4104], ["bag", 4120], ["bagged", 4120], ["bagging", 4120], ["bags", 4120], ["inside", 4127], ["talk", 4143], ["ok", 4155], ["force", 4195], ["tiny", 4202], ["smile", 4208], ["nod", 4220], ["nodded", 4220], ["imperceptibly", 4234], ["pull", 4286], ["pulling", 4286], ["luggage", 4298], ["head", 4314], ["headed", 4314], ["towards", 4322], ["porch", 4338], ["bag", 4351], ["bagged", 4351], ["bagging", 4351], ["impatiently", 4377], ["jingle", 4386], ["jingles", 4386], ["jingled", 4386], ["jingling", 4386]]
but deep bass fit the rhythm of his thoughts-his heated , incredibly focused thoughts . .. everything . oh , god , this dress . the material was stretchy . he loved that about clothing . the thin strap over her left shoulder went down without a fight , not even threatening to tear . he could live with getting sawdust all over , especially now that she 'd said how much she loved contrasts , but ripping was not acceptable . she must have been helping him out in some subtle way , because he was n't sure he could have found the zipper by himself . it was sort of hidden in the back , and she had to arch away from the wall to let him find it . while she was arching , she thrust her brsts forward , and that kept him occupied for a while so he delayed on the zipper situation . the thing was , she did n't have on a bra , so her nples poked against the shimmery material and he could n't resist that . he had to play with those nples until she made little whimpering sounds in the back of her throat . touching her through the material worked him up so much that finally he had to make use of that zipper in the back so he could get rid of the top part of the dress . by the time he got the dress pulled down to her waist , damned if she did n't have some sawdust sprinkled on the prettiest 36b brsts he 'd ever seen . it was his duty to brush off that sawdust . some of it would n't budge , so he had to resort to licking it off . he 'd never eaten sawdust before , but under these conditions he did n't find it objectionable at all . inspecting his work , he decided that her nples looked their absolute best when wet and quivering , so he endeavored to keep them in that condition . from the way eve was quaking and moaning in his arms , he thought she might be happy with his efforts . he was beyond happy . her brsts fit perfectly in his cupped hands with exactly enough gentle weight to be supported nicely against his palms . he imagined himself as a human underwire . and as much as he loved the sensation of rolling her nipple against the roof of his mouth , she seemed to love it even more . and when he tugged softly with his teeth , she shivered . her shiver made the dress rustle against the denim of his jeans , denim that was under a strain at the moment . the situation below his waistband was fast becoming critical . a man with more finesse , the kind of man who dressed in suits and dined at jean george 's , would suggest moving to the bedroom . but eve had n't liked a man with that approach . maybe she was the kind of girl who liked it in a dim hallway up against the wall . charlie hoped so , because he suspected that was how she was going to get it . vaguely he remembered there was something special about this dress besides the shimmery , stretchy fabric . then the special part flashed across his brain like a streaking comet . as she 'd walked toward him , each step had given him a breathtaking view of one long leg . the dress had a slit up the side , a deliciously long slit , long enough to send his imagination into very erotic territory . kissing his way back to her mouth , he slid one hand down her hip . she put an inch between her lips and his . `` a way in . '' the rough urgency was unfamiliar , but so was this desperation . he 'd never known such driving sexual hunger . her quick , shallow breaths tickled his mouth . at mid-thigh the material gave way and he slid his hand through the opening to touch her warm skin . the tactile pleasure of that brought a growl of delight from his throat . he pushed on , expecting to find the kind of silk and lace he 'd seen draped over her kitchen chairs monday night . instead he discovered nothing but ... eve . smoothing his hand over her taut bottom , the blood pounding in his ears , he slipped his fingers between her thighs . there he found the wet welcome guaranteed to drive a man around the bend . his brain short-circuited and he was left with nothing but raw need . he lost track of the sequence of events after that . he remembered kissing her hard and using his tongue to let her know what was ahead . she must have unzipped his jeans and shoved down his briefs , because he did n't think he 'd done any of that . somehow he located the condom packet , ripped it open and rolled the latex over his quivering penis . when he picked her up , her skirt magically drifted to one side , or maybe she pulled it over to give rum access . the details blurred , except for that defining moment when she held on to his shoulders and wrapped her feet around his h*ps and he pushed deep inside her . that sensation burst upon him with such clarity that he expected to remember it when he was a hundred and two .	[["deep", 8], ["deeply", 8], ["bass", 13], ["basses", 13], ["fit", 17], ["fitting", 17], ["rhythm", 28], ["rhythms", 28], ["thought", 44], ["thoughts", 44], ["heat", 55], ["heats", 55], ["heated", 55], ["incredibly", 68], ["focus", 76], ["focused", 76], ["everything", 101], ["oh", 106], ["god", 112], ["dress", 125], ["dressest", 125], ["material", 140], ["stretchy", 153], ["love", 164], ["loved", 164], ["clothing", 184], ["thin", 195], ["thins", 195], ["strap", 201], ["straps", 201], ["left", 215], ["leave", 215], ["shoulder", 224], ["shouldered", 224], ["go", 229], ["goest", 229], ["went", 229], ["without", 242], ["fight", 250], ["fightest", 250], ["even", 261], ["evens", 261], ["threaten", 273], ["threatening", 273], ["tear", 281], ["teared", 281], ["live", 297], ["get", 310], ["getting", 310], ["sawdust", 318], ["especially", 340], ["say", 361], ["sayest", 361], ["said", 361], ["much", 370], ["contrast", 390], ["contrasts", 390], ["acceptable", 423], ["must", 434], ["musts", 434], ["help", 452], ["helpest", 452], ["helping", 452], ["subtle", 475], ["way", 479], ["ways", 479], ["sure", 505], ["find", 525], ["found", 525], ["zipper", 536], ["zippers", 536], ["sort", 561], ["back", 583], ["arch", 605], ["away", 610], ["wall", 624], ["let", 631], ["lets", 631], ["find", 640], ["arch", 667], ["arching", 667], ["thrust", 680], ["forward", 700], ["forwardest", 700], ["forwarding", 700], ["keep", 716], ["keepest", 716], ["kept", 716], ["occupy", 729], ["occupied", 729], ["delay", 755], ["delayest", 755], ["delayed", 755], ["situation", 779], ["thing", 791], ["bra", 823], ["bras", 823], ["poke", 846], ["poked", 846], ["shimmery", 867], ["resist", 900], ["resistest", 900], ["play", 922], ["playest", 922], ["little", 963], ["sound", 981], ["sounds", 981], ["throat", 1007], ["touch", 1018], ["touching", 1018], ["work", 1050], ["wrought", 1050], ["worked", 1050], ["finally", 1078], ["use", 1097], ["get", 1140], ["rid", 1144], ["top", 1155], ["part", 1160], ["parting", 1160], ["time", 1187], ["get", 1194], ["got", 1194], ["pull", 1211], ["pulled", 1211], ["waist", 1229], ["damn", 1238], ["damned", 1238], ["sprinkle", 1281], ["sprinkles", 1281], ["sprinkling", 1281], ["sprinkled", 1281], ["ever", 1321], ["everest", 1321], ["see", 1326], ["seen", 1326], ["duty", 1344], ["brush", 1353], ["brushest", 1353], ["budge", 1399], ["resort", 1421], ["resorted", 1421], ["lick", 1432], ["licking", 1432], ["never", 1453], ["eat", 1459], ["eaten", 1459], ["condition", 1503], ["conditions", 1503], ["objectionable", 1536], ["inspect", 1556], ["inspectest", 1556], ["inspecting", 1556], ["work", 1565], ["wrought", 1565], ["decide", 1578], ["decided", 1578], ["look", 1602], ["looked", 1602], ["absolute", 1617], ["good", 1622], ["best", 1622], ["wet", 1631], ["quiver", 1645], ["quiverest", 1645], ["quivering", 1645], ["endeavor", 1664], ["endeavored", 1664], ["keep", 1672], ["keepest", 1672], ["condition", 1695], ["eve", 1714], ["quake", 1726], ["quaked", 1726], ["quaking", 1726], ["moan", 1738], ["moans", 1738], ["moanest", 1738], ["moaning", 1738], ["arm", 1750], ["arms", 1750], ["think", 1763], ["thinkest", 1763], ["thought", 1763], ["may", 1773], ["mays", 1773], ["mayest", 1773], ["might", 1773], ["happy", 1782], ["effort", 1799], ["efforts", 1799], ["beyond", 1815], ["perfectly", 1849], ["hand", 1869], ["hands", 1869], ["exactly", 1882], ["enough", 1889], ["gentle", 1896], ["gentler", 1896], ["weight", 1903], ["weighted", 1903], ["weightest", 1903], ["support", 1919], ["supported", 1919], ["nicely", 1926], ["palm", 1944], ["palms", 1944], ["palmed", 1944], ["palmest", 1944], ["imagine", 1958], ["imagined", 1958], ["human", 1977], ["underwire", 1987], ["sensation", 2027], ["roll", 2038], ["rolling", 2038], ["nipple", 2049], ["nipples", 2049], ["roof", 2066], ["roofs", 2066], ["roofing", 2066], ["mouth", 2079], ["mouthed", 2079], ["seem", 2092], ["seeming", 2092], ["seemed", 2092], ["love", 2100], ["tug", 2134], ["tugging", 2134], ["tugged", 2134], ["softly", 2141], ["tooth", 2156], ["teeth", 2156], ["shiver", 2171], ["shivering", 2171], ["shivered", 2171], ["shiver", 2184], ["shivering", 2184], ["rustle", 2206], ["denim", 2224], ["jean", 2237], ["jeans", 2237], ["strain", 2269], ["strains", 2269], ["moment", 2283], ["waistband", 2319], ["fast", 2328], ["become", 2337], ["becoming", 2337], ["critical", 2346], ["man", 2354], ["mans", 2354], ["manned", 2354], ["finesse", 2372], ["kind", 2383], ["dress", 2402], ["dressest", 2402], ["dressed", 2402], ["suit", 2411], ["suited", 2411], ["suits", 2411], ["dine", 2421], ["dined", 2421], ["dining", 2421], ["jean", 2429], ["jeans", 2429], ["george", 2436], ["suggest", 2455], ["move", 2462], ["moving", 2462], ["bedroom", 2477], ["like", 2501], ["liked", 2501], ["approach", 2526], ["approaches", 2526], ["maybe", 2534], ["girl", 2559], ["dim", 2581], ["dimmed", 2581], ["hallway", 2589], ["hallways", 2589], ["charlie", 2619], ["hope", 2625], ["hoped", 2625], ["suspect", 2651], ["suspected", 2651], ["go", 2678], ["goest", 2678], ["going", 2678], ["vaguely", 2698], ["remember", 2712], ["rememberest", 2712], ["remembered", 2712], ["special", 2740], ["besides", 2765], ["fabric", 2796], ["flash", 2828], ["flashed", 2828], ["across", 2835], ["brain", 2845], ["brained", 2845], ["braining", 2845], ["like", 2850], ["streak", 2862], ["streaks", 2862], ["streaked", 2862], ["streaking", 2862], ["comet", 2868], ["walk", 2887], ["walked", 2887], ["toward", 2894], ["step", 2910], ["give", 2920], ["given", 2920], ["view", 2944], ["viewest", 2944], ["long", 2956], ["longs", 2956], ["leg", 2960], ["slit", 2983], ["side", 2995], ["sidest", 2995], ["deliciously", 3011], ["send", 3043], ["imagination", 3059], ["erotic", 3076], ["territory", 3086], ["kiss", 3096], ["kisses", 3096], ["kissest", 3096], ["kissing", 3096], ["slid", 3132], ["hand", 3141], ["hip", 3154], ["hips", 3154], ["put", 3164], ["inch", 3172], ["lip", 3189], ["lipped", 3189], ["lips", 3189], ["rough", 3226], ["roughs", 3226], ["roughest", 3226], ["roughing", 3226], ["urgency", 3234], ["unfamiliar", 3249], ["desperation", 3279], ["know", 3299], ["knowest", 3299], ["known", 3299], ["drive", 3312], ["driving", 3312], ["sexual", 3319], ["hunger", 3326], ["hungers", 3326], ["hungering", 3326], ["quick", 3338], ["shallow", 3348], ["breath", 3356], ["breathest", 3356], ["breaths", 3356], ["tickle", 3364], ["tickling", 3364], ["tickled", 3364], ["mid", 3383], ["thigh", 3389], ["thighs", 3389], ["give", 3407], ["gave", 3407], ["opening", 3452], ["touch", 3461], ["touching", 3461], ["warm", 3470], ["skin", 3475], ["tactile", 3489], ["pleasure", 3498], ["bring", 3514], ["brought", 3514], ["growl", 3522], ["growls", 3522], ["delight", 3533], ["push", 3561], ["pushed", 3561], ["expect", 3576], ["expecting", 3576], ["silk", 3601], ["lace", 3610], ["drape", 3628], ["drapes", 3628], ["draped", 3628], ["kitchen", 3645], ["kitchens", 3645], ["monday", 3659], ["mondays", 3659], ["night", 3665], ["instead", 3675], ["discover", 3689], ["discovered", 3689], ["nothing", 3697], ["smooth", 3721], ["smoothing", 3721], ["taut", 3744], ["bottom", 3751], ["bottoming", 3751], ["blood", 3763], ["bloods", 3763], ["blooded", 3763], ["pound", 3772], ["pounding", 3772], ["ear", 3784], ["ears", 3784], ["slip", 3797], ["slipped", 3797], ["finger", 3809], ["fingers", 3809], ["thigh", 3828], ["thighs", 3828], ["welcome", 3861], ["guarantee", 3872], ["guaranteed", 3872], ["drive", 3881], ["around", 3894], ["bend", 3903], ["bent", 3903], ["short", 3921], ["circuit", 3931], ["circuited", 3931], ["raw", 3968], ["need", 3973], ["needest", 3973], ["lose", 3983], ["lost", 3983], ["track", 3989], ["sequence", 4005], ["sequences", 4005], ["event", 4015], ["events", 4015], ["hard", 4059], ["use", 4069], ["using", 4069], ["tongue", 4080], ["tonguing", 4080], ["know", 4096], ["knowest", 4096], ["ahead", 4111], ["unzip", 4136], ["unzips", 4136], ["unzipped", 4136], ["shove", 4157], ["shoved", 4157], ["brief", 4173], ["briefing", 4173], ["briefs", 4173], ["think", 4200], ["thinkest", 4200], ["somehow", 4233], ["locate", 4244], ["located", 4244], ["condom", 4255], ["packet", 4262], ["rip", 4271], ["ripped", 4271], ["open", 4279], ["roll", 4290], ["rolled", 4290], ["latex", 4300], ["penis", 4325], ["pick", 4342], ["picked", 4342], ["skirt", 4361], ["magically", 4371], ["drift", 4379], ["drifting", 4379], ["drifted", 4379], ["give", 4429], ["rum", 4433], ["rums", 4433], ["access", 4440], ["accessest", 4440], ["detail", 4454], ["details", 4454], ["blur", 4462], ["blurs", 4462], ["blurred", 4462], ["except", 4471], ["hold", 4510], ["held", 4510], ["shoulder", 4530], ["shouldered", 4530], ["shoulders", 4530], ["wrap", 4542], ["wraps", 4542], ["wrapping", 4542], ["wrapped", 4542], ["foot", 4551], ["feet", 4551], ["inside", 4593], ["burst", 4620], ["bursted", 4620], ["upon", 4625], ["clarity", 4647], ["expect", 4664], ["expected", 4664], ["remember", 4676], ["rememberest", 4676], ["hundred", 4701], ["two", 4709], ["twos", 4709]]
even after he was gone , faith continued to gaze through the peephole , staring at her empty hallway . for fifteen full minutes , she watched . for fifteen full minutes , she waited . for fifteen full minutes , she wished . and for fifteen full minutes , she somehow managed to keep her tears from falling . chapter 6 the weather in veranda bay , st. john , u.s.virgin islands , was quite extraordinary , pendleton had to admit . beneath a perfect , pale blue sky , the seventy-six degrees surrounding him were made even more enjoyable by a warm , restive breeze redolent of the salty sea , the rich jungle soil , hawaiian tropic suntan lotion , and a wide variety of red and yellow rum drinks that dotted the bar around him . kit had chosen well , he thought grudgingly . the veranda bay resort was a primo bit of real estate . it was also the solitary structure on veranda bay , something that had narrowed considerably his search for her exact whereabouts . of course , the massive resort did lay claim to roughly two hundred rooms , fourteen luxury suites , twenty private bungalows , five restaurants , two cafes , a bistro , and nearly a dozen bars , but that was beside the point . kit was here . his current position seated at the bar by the pool afforded him panoramic views of both the lush hotel grounds and the ribbon of white beach beyond-not to mention the incredible turquoise expanse of the caribbean . it was undoubtedly the best seat in the house for spying runaway madcap heiresses . unless , of course , the runaway madcap heiress in question happened to be kit mcclellan , in which case , pendleton was fairly certain she 'd have to want to be spotted before he would be able to spot her . but she obviously did want to be found , he told himself confidently . of that , he was absolutely certain . the unruly breeze pushed a lock of his dark hair down over his forehead , and when he carefully nudged it back into place , the wind returned to fondle the open collar of his white linen shirt . baggy khaki trousers and buff-colored topsiders-sans socks , natch-completed his attire , suggesting to a casual passerby that he was simply a vacationing corporate executive of generous means , instead of a boss 's spineless lackey sent to recover a rebellious daughter . thankfully , his thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a very large , very pink drink on the bar beside him . when he glanced up , it was to find a gorgeous , curvaceous bartender with elegant latina looks , wearing a skin-tight sarong , smiling at him . `` compliments of the house , '' she said . `` welcome to veranda bay . '' he returned her salacious smile with one of his own , automatically curling his fingers around the cool , slender glass . the drink was really far too pretty for anyone of the masculine persuasion to be caught dead possessing , but it had been a nice gesture . `` do you do this for all the guests ? '' she shook her head , her smile broadening . only the attractive ones i 'd like to get to know better . '' maybe this trip would n't be a total washout after all . she touched the tip of her tongue to the corner of her mouth . then she was gone , glancing back at pendleton over her na**d shoulder as she went , the warm sun gilding the dark , bare skin of her back that was revealed by the brief sarong uniform . and as he watched her go , he found himself wondering why he 'd never visited the caribbean before . balmy weather , picture-perfect beach , beautiful women , free drinks ... was there anything that could possibly make this better ? his question was answered almost immediately by a brief slash of feedback from a microphone , followed by an overloud , nervous chuckle , and the arrival of a large man poolside . he was dressed in the biggest pair of shorts and the most obnoxious hawaiian shirt pendleton had ever seen , and he brought with him tidings of great joy . `` sorry about that , folks , '' he said with another anxious chuckle . `` but if you 'd all like to turn your attention poolside , we 're about to begin the swim-wear fashion show . '' pendleton nearly dropped the drink he had been lifting to his mouth . there was something that could honestly make this better . `` and that , '' the man continued , `` will be followed immediately by the lingerie fashion show . '' pendleton 's voice nearly lifted in song as his libido jumped up to do the macarena . swimwear/lingerie mud wrestling ? would his most excellent fortune never end ? `` hi , pendleton ! i did n't know you already had some vacation time coming . i 'm going to have to ask daddy about his new policy . '' he sighed as a murky fog that was becoming way too familiar began to roll into his brain .	[["even", 4], ["evens", 4], ["go", 22], ["goest", 22], ["gone", 22], ["faith", 30], ["faiths", 30], ["continue", 40], ["continued", 40], ["gaze", 48], ["gazes", 48], ["peephole", 69], ["stare", 79], ["stared", 79], ["staring", 79], ["empty", 92], ["hallway", 100], ["hallways", 100], ["fifteen", 114], ["full", 119], ["minute", 127], ["minutes", 127], ["watch", 141], ["watched", 141], ["wait", 181], ["waitest", 181], ["waited", 181], ["wish", 221], ["wished", 221], ["somehow", 266], ["manage", 274], ["managed", 274], ["keep", 282], ["keepest", 282], ["tear", 292], ["teared", 292], ["tears", 292], ["fall", 305], ["falls", 305], ["falling", 305], ["chapter", 315], ["weather", 329], ["veranda", 340], ["verandas", 340], ["bay", 344], ["st", 349], ["sts", 349], ["john", 355], ["island", 376], ["islands", 376], ["quite", 388], ["extraordinary", 402], ["pendleton", 414], ["admit", 427], ["beneath", 437], ["perfect", 447], ["perfectest", 447], ["pale", 454], ["blue", 459], ["sky", 463], ["seventy", 477], ["six", 481], ["degree", 489], ["degrees", 489], ["surround", 501], ["surrounding", 501], ["enjoyable", 535], ["warm", 545], ["restive", 555], ["breeze", 562], ["breezing", 562], ["redolent", 571], ["salty", 584], ["sea", 588], ["rich", 599], ["jungle", 606], ["jungles", 606], ["soil", 611], ["hawaiian", 622], ["hawaiians", 622], ["tropic", 629], ["suntan", 636], ["suntans", 636], ["lotion", 643], ["wide", 656], ["variety", 664], ["red", 671], ["yellow", 682], ["rum", 686], ["rums", 686], ["drank", 693], ["drink", 693], ["drinking", 693], ["drinks", 693], ["dot", 705], ["dotted", 705], ["bar", 713], ["around", 720], ["kit", 730], ["choose", 741], ["chosen", 741], ["well", 746], ["wells", 746], ["think", 759], ["thinkest", 759], ["thought", 759], ["grudgingly", 770], ["resort", 795], ["resorted", 795], ["primo", 807], ["bit", 811], ["bits", 811], ["reis", 819], ["real", 819], ["estate", 826], ["also", 840], ["solitary", 853], ["structure", 863], ["structuring", 863], ["narrow", 908], ["narrowed", 908], ["considerably", 921], ["search", 932], ["exact", 946], ["whereabout", 958], ["whereabouts", 958], ["course", 970], ["massive", 984], ["lay", 999], ["lays", 999], ["layed", 999], ["layest", 999], ["claim", 1005], ["roughly", 1016], ["two", 1020], ["twos", 1020], ["hundred", 1028], ["room", 1034], ["roomed", 1034], ["rooms", 1034], ["fourteen", 1045], ["luxury", 1052], ["suite", 1059], ["suites", 1059], ["twenty", 1068], ["private", 1076], ["bungalow", 1086], ["bungalows", 1086], ["five", 1093], ["fived", 1093], ["restaurant", 1105], ["restaurants", 1105], ["cafe", 1117], ["cafes", 1117], ["bistro", 1128], ["bistros", 1128], ["nearly", 1141], ["dozen", 1149], ["bar", 1154], ["bars", 1154], ["beside", 1176], ["point", 1186], ["current", 1215], ["position", 1224], ["seat", 1231], ["seated", 1231], ["pool", 1254], ["afford", 1263], ["afforded", 1263], ["panoramic", 1277], ["view", 1283], ["viewest", 1283], ["views", 1283], ["lush", 1300], ["hotel", 1306], ["ground", 1314], ["grounds", 1314], ["ribbon", 1329], ["white", 1338], ["beach", 1344], ["beyond", 1351], ["mention", 1366], ["incredible", 1381], ["turquoise", 1391], ["expanse", 1399], ["caribbean", 1416], ["undoubtedly", 1437], ["good", 1446], ["best", 1446], ["seat", 1451], ["house", 1464], ["spy", 1475], ["spying", 1475], ["runaway", 1483], ["runaways", 1483], ["madcap", 1490], ["heiress", 1500], ["heiresses", 1500], ["unless", 1509], ["unlesss", 1509], ["heiress", 1550], ["question", 1562], ["happen", 1571], ["happened", 1571], ["mcclellan", 1591], ["case", 1607], ["fairly", 1630], ["certain", 1638], ["spot", 1672], ["spotted", 1672], ["able", 1696], ["abled", 1696], ["spot", 1704], ["obviously", 1728], ["find", 1749], ["found", 1749], ["tell", 1759], ["told", 1759], ["confidently", 1779], ["absolutely", 1809], ["unruly", 1830], ["push", 1844], ["pushed", 1844], ["lock", 1851], ["dark", 1863], ["hair", 1868], ["forehead", 1891], ["carefully", 1915], ["nudge", 1922], ["nudges", 1922], ["nudged", 1922], ["back", 1930], ["place", 1941], ["wind", 1952], ["return", 1961], ["returnest", 1961], ["returned", 1961], ["fondle", 1971], ["fondles", 1971], ["open", 1980], ["collar", 1987], ["collared", 1987], ["linen", 2006], ["shirt", 2012], ["baggy", 2020], ["khaki", 2026], ["khakis", 2026], ["trouser", 2035], ["trousers", 2035], ["buff", 2044], ["buffing", 2044], ["color", 2052], ["colored", 2052], ["topsider", 2062], ["san", 2067], ["sans", 2067], ["sock", 2073], ["socks", 2073], ["socked", 2073], ["natch", 2081], ["complete", 2091], ["completed", 2091], ["attire", 2102], ["suggest", 2115], ["suggesting", 2115], ["casual", 2127], ["passerby", 2136], ["simply", 2155], ["vacation", 2169], ["corporate", 2179], ["executive", 2189], ["generous", 2201], ["mean", 2207], ["meanest", 2207], ["means", 2207], ["instead", 2217], ["boss", 2227], ["spineless", 2240], ["lackey", 2247], ["send", 2252], ["sent", 2252], ["recover", 2263], ["rebellious", 2276], ["daughter", 2285], ["thankfully", 2298], ["thought", 2313], ["thoughts", 2313], ["interrupt", 2330], ["interruptest", 2330], ["interrupted", 2330], ["arrival", 2345], ["large", 2361], ["pink", 2373], ["drank", 2379], ["drink", 2379], ["drinking", 2379], ["glance", 2419], ["glanced", 2419], ["find", 2439], ["gorgeous", 2450], ["curvaceous", 2463], ["bartender", 2473], ["elegant", 2486], ["latina", 2493], ["latinas", 2493], ["look", 2499], ["looks", 2499], ["wear", 2509], ["wearing", 2509], ["skin", 2516], ["tight", 2522], ["sarong", 2529], ["smile", 2539], ["smiling", 2539], ["compliment", 2563], ["compliments", 2563], ["say", 2590], ["sayest", 2590], ["said", 2590], ["welcome", 2603], ["salacious", 2649], ["smile", 2655], ["automatically", 2691], ["curl", 2699], ["curls", 2699], ["curled", 2699], ["curling", 2699], ["finger", 2711], ["fingers", 2711], ["cool", 2727], ["slender", 2737], ["glass", 2743], ["really", 2766], ["far", 2770], ["pretty", 2781], ["prettiest", 2781], ["anyone", 2792], ["masculine", 2809], ["persuasion", 2820], ["catch", 2833], ["catches", 2833], ["catched", 2833], ["caught", 2833], ["dead", 2838], ["possess", 2849], ["possesses", 2849], ["possessing", 2849], ["nice", 2874], ["gesture", 2882], ["guest", 2921], ["guestest", 2921], ["guests", 2921], ["shake", 2936], ["shook", 2936], ["head", 2945], ["attractive", 2990], ["like", 3005], ["get", 3012], ["know", 3020], ["knowest", 3020], ["well", 3027], ["wells", 3027], ["maybe", 3038], ["trip", 3048], ["tripping", 3048], ["total", 3069], ["washout", 3077], ["touch", 3101], ["touching", 3101], ["touched", 3101], ["tip", 3109], ["tongue", 3123], ["tonguing", 3123], ["corner", 3137], ["mouth", 3150], ["mouthed", 3150], ["glance", 3181], ["glancing", 3181], ["shoulder", 3223], ["shouldered", 3223], ["go", 3235], ["goest", 3235], ["went", 3235], ["sun", 3250], ["suns", 3250], ["sunned", 3250], ["gilding", 3258], ["reveal", 3309], ["revealed", 3309], ["brief", 3322], ["briefing", 3322], ["uniform", 3337], ["go", 3364], ["goest", 3364], ["wonder", 3393], ["wonderest", 3393], ["wondering", 3393], ["never", 3409], ["visit", 3417], ["visited", 3417], ["balmy", 3446], ["picture", 3464], ["beautiful", 3490], ["beautifulest", 3490], ["woman", 3496], ["womans", 3496], ["women", 3496], ["free", 3503], ["anything", 3533], ["answer", 3598], ["answeres", 3598], ["answerest", 3598], ["answered", 3598], ["almost", 3605], ["immediately", 3617], ["slash", 3634], ["feedback", 3646], ["microphone", 3664], ["microphones", 3664], ["follow", 3675], ["followed", 3675], ["overloud", 3690], ["nervous", 3700], ["chuckle", 3708], ["chuckled", 3708], ["man", 3741], ["mans", 3741], ["manned", 3741], ["poolside", 3750], ["dress", 3767], ["dressest", 3767], ["dressed", 3767], ["big", 3782], ["bigs", 3782], ["biggest", 3782], ["pair", 3787], ["pairs", 3787], ["short", 3797], ["shorts", 3797], ["obnoxious", 3820], ["ever", 3854], ["everest", 3854], ["see", 3859], ["seen", 3859], ["bring", 3876], ["brought", 3876], ["tiding", 3893], ["tidings", 3893], ["great", 3902], ["joy", 3906], ["joys", 3906], ["joyed", 3906], ["sorry", 3917], ["folk", 3936], ["folks", 3936], ["another", 3962], ["anxious", 3970], ["anxiousest", 3970], ["turn", 4014], ["attention", 4029], ["begin", 4062], ["swim", 4071], ["swiming", 4071], ["wear", 4076], ["fashion", 4084], ["fashioned", 4084], ["show", 4089], ["drop", 4119], ["dropped", 4119], ["lift", 4149], ["honestly", 4204], ["lingerie", 4308], ["voice", 4345], ["lift", 4359], ["lifted", 4359], ["song", 4367], ["libido", 4381], ["jump", 4388], ["jumps", 4388], ["jumped", 4388], ["macarena", 4410], ["macarenas", 4410], ["swimwear", 4421], ["mud", 4434], ["wrestling", 4444], ["excellent", 4471], ["fortune", 4479], ["end", 4489], ["ends", 4489], ["endest", 4489], ["hi", 4497], ["already", 4538], ["vacation", 4556], ["time", 4561], ["come", 4568], ["coming", 4568], ["go", 4581], ["goest", 4581], ["going", 4581], ["ask", 4596], ["daddy", 4602], ["new", 4616], ["policy", 4623], ["sigh", 4638], ["sighest", 4638], ["sighed", 4638], ["murky", 4649], ["fog", 4653], ["fogs", 4653], ["become", 4671], ["becoming", 4671], ["way", 4675], ["ways", 4675], ["familiar", 4688], ["begin", 4694], ["began", 4694], ["roll", 4702], ["brain", 4717], ["brained", 4717], ["braining", 4717]]
she pulled the drawer all the way open and reached into the back for an expandable file where she kept everything she 'd found . look at these and tell me what you think . '' she moved aside her ungraded homework and the consumer reports article on swing sets and laid everything out on the desk . she let him see the newspaper clippings and medical examiners ' reports without saying anything that might sway his opinion one way or another . she watched him as he picked up each paper and read over it . his jaw tightened more with every page he read . the glittering interest in his eyes darkened to lethal menace . light from the desk lamp washed over his features , casting deep shadows on his face . she could see a couple of small scars-one on his cheek and another over his left eyebrow . the split lip lavine had given him had n't left a mark , which relieved her . she did n't like the idea of him carrying a reminder of that night where he 'd have to see it every time he shaved . grant set down the first stack of pages and reached for the next . isabelle stayed silent , watching him . she knew exactly what he read . page after page revealed the facts around the deaths of six people . carrie was the first . she left her car running with the garage door shut and the car doors open . then henry . he hanged himself from a beam in his basement after his wife left him-his wife who had been missing for weeks . jamal jumped from the tenth floor of his apartment building . linda overdosed . she had n't really known any of those people well , but she 'd known sam and beverly , who had also reportedly killed themselves . isabelle knew in her gut that was a lie . grant set the last paper down on the desk very carefully and turned that menacing gaze to her . `` who are all of these people , and exactly how are you connected to them ? '' his voice was hard and cold , and isabelle had to stifle a little shiver of apprehension . `` you 're connected to them , too . every one of them was edgar lavine 's foster child at one time . '' his mouth tightened in a disgusted grimace at the mention of that man 's name . are n't those records private ? '' isabelle felt the heat of a blush crawl up her neck . `` i 'm not going to tell you how i got that information . it would get someone else in trouble , someone who was trying to help me . '' he accepted that and moved on without hounding her like the police had . `` are you sure all of them lived with lavine ? '' what i 'm not sure of is that any of them committed suicide . '' `` lavine did a lot of terrible things to the kids in his care , isabelle . maybe these people never got over it . '' even though grant had saved isabelle from being raped , the fact that she 'd come so close to being another of lavine 's victims still haunted her sometimes . she 'd see a man who resembled lavine at the grocery store and stop dead in her tracks . once , a student 's father had reached out to shake her hand and those blunt , gnarled fingers-so much like lavine's-had flung her back to that horrid night . she 'd run to the bathroom to throw up and never could bring herself to go back to face the baffled father . if she still dealt with what had nearly happened to her , how much worse was it for the kids grant had n't been around to save ? bad enough to commit suicide ? `` i 'm not sure anyone ever gets over something like that , '' she told grant , `` but i still do n't think they killed themselves . '' `` i just do n't , '' she stated with every ounce of belief she possessed . `` give me something to go on here . `` sam and beverly were not suicidal . grant 's mouth flattened at her choice of words . `` okay , let 's say that 's true and they were n't suicidal . did you know them , too ? '' and as sick as it sounds , i really want to believe they killed themselves . it 's much easier to think that they took their own lives to be at peace than to believe they were murdered , made victims yet again . the problem is , everything in me is screaming that 's what happened . '' not judgment , just curiosity . `` women 's intuition ? instincts ? all i know is that if i 'm right , then there are others out there in danger . that news did n't even rate a shocked flicker of his eyelid . if you are right , then we 've got to talk to the police about this . get you some protection , especially since you 're digging up all of this stuff . if someone is killing people and disguising murder as suicide , they are n't going to want you figuring it out . if they find out you 're investigating , they 'll try to stop you . ''	[["pull", 10], ["pulled", 10], ["drawer", 21], ["way", 33], ["ways", 33], ["open", 38], ["reach", 50], ["reached", 50], ["back", 64], ["expandable", 82], ["file", 87], ["keep", 102], ["keepest", 102], ["kept", 102], ["everything", 113], ["find", 126], ["found", 126], ["look", 133], ["tell", 151], ["think", 169], ["thinkest", 169], ["move", 184], ["moved", 184], ["aside", 190], ["homework", 212], ["consumer", 229], ["report", 237], ["reports", 237], ["article", 245], ["swing", 254], ["swung", 254], ["set", 259], ["sets", 259], ["lay", 268], ["lays", 268], ["layed", 268], ["layest", 268], ["laid", 268], ["desk", 295], ["let", 305], ["lets", 305], ["see", 313], ["newspaper", 327], ["clip", 337], ["clipping", 337], ["clippings", 337], ["medical", 349], ["examiner", 359], ["examiners", 359], ["without", 377], ["say", 384], ["sayest", 384], ["saying", 384], ["anything", 393], ["may", 404], ["mays", 404], ["mayest", 404], ["might", 404], ["sway", 409], ["swayed", 409], ["opinion", 421], ["another", 440], ["watch", 454], ["watched", 454], ["pick", 471], ["picked", 471], ["paper", 485], ["read", 494], ["reads", 494], ["jaw", 512], ["jaws", 512], ["jawed", 512], ["jawest", 512], ["tighten", 522], ["tightens", 522], ["tightenest", 522], ["tightened", 522], ["every", 538], ["page", 543], ["glitter", 568], ["glittering", 568], ["interest", 577], ["eye", 589], ["eyed", 589], ["eyes", 589], ["darken", 598], ["darkened", 598], ["lethal", 608], ["menace", 615], ["menaced", 615], ["menacing", 615], ["lit", 623], ["light", 623], ["lamp", 642], ["wash", 649], ["washed", 649], ["feature", 667], ["features", 667], ["cast", 677], ["casts", 677], ["casting", 677], ["deep", 682], ["deeply", 682], ["shadow", 690], ["shadowed", 690], ["shadows", 690], ["face", 702], ["couple", 727], ["small", 736], ["scar", 742], ["scars", 742], ["cheek", 759], ["cheeks", 759], ["left", 785], ["leave", 785], ["eyebrow", 793], ["split", 805], ["lip", 809], ["lipped", 809], ["give", 826], ["given", 826], ["mark", 850], ["marks", 850], ["relieve", 867], ["relieved", 867], ["like", 890], ["idea", 899], ["carry", 915], ["carrying", 915], ["reminder", 926], ["night", 940], ["time", 978], ["shave", 988], ["shaves", 988], ["shaven", 988], ["shaving", 988], ["shaved", 988], ["grant", 996], ["grantest", 996], ["set", 1000], ["first", 1015], ["firstest", 1015], ["stack", 1021], ["stacks", 1021], ["page", 1030], ["pages", 1030], ["next", 1055], ["isabelle", 1066], ["stay", 1073], ["stayed", 1073], ["silent", 1080], ["watch", 1091], ["watching", 1091], ["know", 1106], ["knowest", 1106], ["knew", 1106], ["exactly", 1114], ["reveal", 1154], ["revealed", 1154], ["fact", 1164], ["facts", 1164], ["around", 1171], ["death", 1182], ["deaths", 1182], ["six", 1189], ["people", 1196], ["carrie", 1205], ["car", 1238], ["run", 1246], ["running", 1246], ["garage", 1262], ["door", 1267], ["shut", 1272], ["door", 1290], ["doors", 1290], ["henry", 1308], ["hung", 1320], ["hang", 1320], ["hangs", 1320], ["hanged", 1320], ["beam", 1340], ["basement", 1356], ["wife", 1371], ["miss", 1410], ["missing", 1410], ["week", 1420], ["weeks", 1420], ["jump", 1435], ["jumps", 1435], ["jumped", 1435], ["tenth", 1450], ["floor", 1456], ["apartment", 1473], ["build", 1482], ["building", 1482], ["linda", 1490], ["overdose", 1500], ["really", 1521], ["know", 1527], ["knowest", 1527], ["known", 1527], ["well", 1552], ["wells", 1552], ["sam", 1575], ["beverly", 1587], ["also", 1602], ["reportedly", 1613], ["kill", 1620], ["killed", 1620], ["gut", 1658], ["lay", 1673], ["lie", 1673], ["lain", 1673], ["last", 1694], ["carefully", 1732], ["turn", 1743], ["turned", 1743], ["gaze", 1762], ["gazes", 1762], ["voice", 1861], ["hard", 1870], ["cold", 1879], ["stifle", 1908], ["little", 1917], ["shiver", 1924], ["shivering", 1924], ["apprehension", 1940], ["connect", 1963], ["connectest", 1963], ["connected", 1963], ["edgar", 2007], ["foster", 2024], ["fosterest", 2024], ["child", 2030], ["childs", 2030], ["mouth", 2057], ["mouthed", 2057], ["grimace", 2090], ["grimacing", 2090], ["mention", 2105], ["man", 2117], ["mans", 2117], ["manned", 2117], ["name", 2125], ["record", 2149], ["records", 2149], ["private", 2157], ["feel", 2176], ["felt", 2176], ["heat", 2185], ["heats", 2185], ["heated", 2185], ["blush", 2196], ["blushes", 2196], ["crawl", 2202], ["crawled", 2202], ["neck", 2214], ["necked", 2214], ["go", 2234], ["goest", 2234], ["going", 2234], ["get", 2256], ["got", 2256], ["information", 2273], ["get", 2288], ["else", 2301], ["trouble", 2312], ["troubling", 2312], ["try", 2337], ["tryed", 2337], ["trying", 2337], ["help", 2345], ["helpest", 2345], ["accept", 2365], ["accepted", 2365], ["hound", 2400], ["hounds", 2400], ["hounding", 2400], ["police", 2420], ["sure", 2442], ["live", 2460], ["lived", 2460], ["commit", 2529], ["committed", 2529], ["suicide", 2537], ["lot", 2562], ["terrible", 2574], ["thing", 2581], ["things", 2581], ["kid", 2593], ["kids", 2593], ["maybe", 2624], ["never", 2643], ["even", 2665], ["evens", 2665], ["though", 2672], ["save", 2688], ["saved", 2688], ["rape", 2714], ["raped", 2714], ["fact", 2725], ["come", 2742], ["close", 2751], ["victim", 2789], ["victims", 2789], ["still", 2795], ["haunt", 2803], ["haunted", 2803], ["hauntest", 2803], ["haunting", 2803], ["resemble", 2850], ["resembled", 2850], ["grocery", 2872], ["store", 2878], ["stop", 2887], ["dead", 2892], ["track", 2906], ["tracks", 2906], ["student", 2925], ["father", 2935], ["fathered", 2935], ["fathering", 2935], ["shake", 2960], ["hand", 2969], ["blunt", 2985], ["blunted", 2985], ["blunting", 2985], ["finger", 3003], ["fingers", 3003], ["much", 3011], ["fling", 3035], ["flung", 3035], ["horrid", 3059], ["run", 3078], ["bathroom", 3094], ["throw", 3103], ["bring", 3128], ["go", 3142], ["goest", 3142], ["deal", 3195], ["dealt", 3195], ["nearly", 3216], ["happen", 3225], ["happened", 3225], ["worse", 3249], ["save", 3303], ["bad", 3309], ["enough", 3316], ["commit", 3326], ["committed", 3326], ["anyone", 3360], ["ever", 3365], ["everest", 3365], ["get", 3370], ["gets", 3370], ["tell", 3409], ["told", 3409], ["state", 3506], ["stated", 3506], ["ounce", 3523], ["belief", 3533], ["possess", 3547], ["possesses", 3547], ["possessed", 3547], ["give", 3557], ["suicidal", 3623], ["flatten", 3650], ["flattens", 3650], ["flattened", 3650], ["choice", 3664], ["word", 3673], ["words", 3673], ["okay", 3683], ["say", 3696], ["sayest", 3696], ["true", 3709], ["know", 3751], ["knowest", 3751], ["sick", 3779], ["sound", 3792], ["sounds", 3792], ["believe", 3819], ["easy", 3862], ["easier", 3862], ["take", 3886], ["took", 3886], ["life", 3902], ["lifes", 3902], ["lives", 3902], ["peace", 3917], ["murder", 3952], ["murderest", 3952], ["murdered", 3952], ["yet", 3971], ["problem", 3991], ["scream", 4026], ["screams", 4026], ["screaming", 4026], ["judgment", 4066], ["curiosity", 4083], ["woman", 4094], ["womans", 4094], ["women", 4094], ["intuition", 4107], ["instinct", 4119], ["instincts", 4119], ["right", 4154], ["rightest", 4154], ["danger", 4198], ["news", 4210], ["newses", 4210], ["rate", 4228], ["flicker", 4246], ["flickered", 4246], ["flickering", 4246], ["eyelid", 4260], ["talk", 4305], ["protection", 4356], ["especially", 4369], ["since", 4375], ["dug", 4391], ["dig", 4391], ["digs", 4391], ["digest", 4391], ["digging", 4391], ["stuff", 4412], ["kill", 4436], ["killing", 4436], ["disguise", 4458], ["disguising", 4458], ["murder", 4465], ["murderest", 4465], ["figure", 4518], ["figuring", 4518], ["find", 4540], ["investigate", 4566], ["investigates", 4566], ["investigating", 4566], ["try", 4581], ["tryed", 4581]]
so she could savor his kiss , memorize every detail . the faint scent of winter on his coat , the clean male scent of his skin , the faint fan of his breath on her cheek `` maebry . '' as if from a great distance , her name was spoken again . `` maebry ? '' she blinked , jumped , realized she was staring at gil as he wrestled open the barn door far across the yard . realizing she 'd been caught staring , heat scorched her face . aumaleigh , this time , smiled at her with understanding . she 'd entered the room without maebry noticing , apparently , and had even taken a plate from the stack she held . wow , i was really dreaming , she thought , embarrassed . guess there was no keeping her secret feelings private now . `` as i was saying , '' aumaleigh said patiently , her blue gaze softening with what looked like pity . as if she knew exactly how hopeless falling for gil would be . the older woman stole two slices of bacon from the platter . `` i 'll bring mother her breakfast and help out feeding the men . mother wants you to be on time to the montgomerys . leave now , before she starts calling for you . she 's in a mood this morning , and i want to spare you that . '' she stared down at her toes , at her patched shoes , one still held on with the twine gil had given her . you were up all night with her again . aumaleigh lifted one slender shoulder in a shrug . weariness marked her face , making her appear almost haggard , her loveliness drained . `` i do n't think there are many nights left . '' `` and last i heard the doctor agreed with you , '' josslyn spoke up , emptying the scrambled eggs onto the platter . `` tough times , to be sure . maebry , i 'll make up a breakfast sandwich to take with you , but you 'd best go get on your coat now . one of the men will take you to town . '' resigned , she scurried over to the wall hooks as the conversation silenced . aumaleigh filled a breakfast plate for her mother , josslyn rescued biscuits from the oven and popped them into a basket . by the time maebry finished the last button on her coat , josslyn was handing her an egg sandwich wrapped in a napkin and waving her out the door . she crossed the porch , food in hand , wind in her face . while the snow had stopped , the cold had not . the last thing she wanted to do was to work for the montgomerys , but she had no choice . maureen had spoken , so she shivered , squinting through the golden glare of dawn toward the barn , waiting for her ride . a man 's figure moved across the shadowy open doors of the barn . he did n't see her , his back was to her as he worked , bending to a cinch , saddling up casey . `` hey , there , maebry ! '' a friendly voice called out over the squeaking sound of runners on snow , coming from the other direction , surprising her . she looked up , fighting to keep her gaze from straying toward the open barn doors and gil , and forced a smile at the young man driving her way . `` hi , tiernan . '' `` guess i 'm your driver this morning . '' he pulled phil to a stop . `` is n't josslyn or orla coming ? '' maebry gathered her skirts to climb into the small one-seat sleigh , and tiernan caught hold of her elbow to help her in . he was only a few years younger than her , just eighteen , but a sweetheart with a sculpted , handsome face , honest , friendly eyes and a smile that had young ladies everywhere swooning and tittering , not that he was aware of it . he felt more like a younger brother to her , just someone to spoil with extra servings of dessert at the supper table . `` how 's maureen ? '' he held the buffalo robe out for her to take . `` heard the doc was gon na drop by again today . '' `` yes , although i 'm not sure what more he can do , but it 's good of him to try . '' she settled onto the seat , pulled the buffalo robe over her for warmth and forced her gaze forward on the road ahead , and not behind where she swore she could feel the weight of gil 's stare . determined , she pressed her lips together , the proper and stoic spinster she needed to be . `` maureen seems worse this morning . according to aumaleigh , she was having trouble swallowing her morning 's tea . not a good thing . '' tiernan snapped the reins . phil took off with a well-mannered lunge , and the sleigh sped down the hill , runners squeaking against the crisp snow . `` sounds like she 's run out of time . ''	[["savor", 18], ["savoring", 18], ["kiss", 27], ["kisses", 27], ["kissest", 27], ["memorize", 38], ["memorizes", 38], ["memorized", 38], ["every", 44], ["detail", 51], ["faint", 63], ["scent", 69], ["scentest", 69], ["winter", 79], ["coat", 91], ["clean", 103], ["cleans", 103], ["male", 108], ["males", 108], ["skin", 126], ["fan", 142], ["breath", 156], ["breathest", 156], ["cheek", 169], ["cheeks", 169], ["great", 203], ["distance", 212], ["distancing", 212], ["name", 223], ["speak", 234], ["spoken", 234], ["blink", 269], ["blinked", 269], ["jump", 278], ["jumps", 278], ["jumped", 278], ["realize", 289], ["realized", 289], ["stare", 305], ["stared", 305], ["staring", 305], ["wrestle", 327], ["wrestled", 327], ["open", 332], ["barn", 341], ["door", 346], ["far", 350], ["across", 357], ["yard", 366], ["yards", 366], ["realize", 378], ["realizing", 378], ["catch", 397], ["catches", 397], ["catched", 397], ["caught", 397], ["heat", 412], ["heats", 412], ["heated", 412], ["scorch", 421], ["scorched", 421], ["face", 430], ["time", 454], ["smile", 463], ["smiled", 463], ["understanding", 489], ["enter", 506], ["entered", 506], ["room", 515], ["roomed", 515], ["without", 523], ["apparently", 552], ["even", 567], ["evens", 567], ["take", 573], ["taken", 573], ["plate", 581], ["plating", 581], ["stack", 596], ["stacks", 596], ["hold", 605], ["held", 605], ["wow", 611], ["really", 626], ["dream", 635], ["dreamt", 635], ["dreamest", 635], ["dreaming", 635], ["think", 649], ["thinkest", 649], ["thought", 649], ["embarrass", 663], ["embarrassed", 663], ["guess", 671], ["keep", 692], ["keepest", 692], ["keeping", 692], ["secret", 703], ["feeling", 712], ["feelings", 712], ["private", 720], ["say", 745], ["sayest", 745], ["saying", 745], ["say", 765], ["sayest", 765], ["said", 765], ["patiently", 775], ["blue", 786], ["gaze", 791], ["gazes", 791], ["soften", 801], ["softens", 801], ["softening", 801], ["look", 818], ["looked", 818], ["like", 823], ["pity", 828], ["know", 845], ["knowest", 845], ["knew", 845], ["exactly", 853], ["hopeless", 866], ["fall", 874], ["falls", 874], ["falling", 874], ["old", 903], ["woman", 909], ["womans", 909], ["steal", 915], ["stole", 915], ["two", 919], ["twos", 919], ["slice", 926], ["slices", 926], ["bacon", 935], ["platter", 952], ["bring", 969], ["mother", 976], ["mothered", 976], ["motherest", 976], ["breakfast", 990], ["help", 999], ["helpest", 999], ["fed", 1011], ["feed", 1011], ["feeding", 1011], ["man", 1019], ["mans", 1019], ["manned", 1019], ["men", 1019], ["left", 1079], ["leave", 1079], ["start", 1103], ["starts", 1103], ["call", 1111], ["calling", 1111], ["mood", 1138], ["morning", 1151], ["spare", 1173], ["stare", 1198], ["stared", 1198], ["toe", 1215], ["toeing", 1215], ["toes", 1215], ["patch", 1232], ["patching", 1232], ["patched", 1232], ["shoe", 1238], ["shoed", 1238], ["shoes", 1238], ["still", 1250], ["twine", 1273], ["give", 1287], ["given", 1287], ["night", 1315], ["lift", 1349], ["lifted", 1349], ["shoulder", 1370], ["shouldered", 1370], ["shrug", 1381], ["shrugging", 1381], ["weariness", 1393], ["mark", 1400], ["marks", 1400], ["marked", 1400], ["appear", 1429], ["almost", 1436], ["haggard", 1444], ["haggards", 1444], ["loveliness", 1461], ["drain", 1469], ["drained", 1469], ["think", 1489], ["thinkest", 1489], ["many", 1504], ["night", 1511], ["nights", 1511], ["left", 1516], ["leave", 1516], ["last", 1533], ["hear", 1541], ["hears", 1541], ["heard", 1541], ["doctor", 1552], ["doctoring", 1552], ["doctorest", 1552], ["agree", 1559], ["agreed", 1559], ["speak", 1587], ["spoken", 1587], ["spoke", 1587], ["empty", 1601], ["emptying", 1601], ["scramble", 1615], ["scrambled", 1615], ["egg", 1620], ["egging", 1620], ["eggs", 1620], ["onto", 1625], ["ontos", 1625], ["tough", 1648], ["time", 1654], ["times", 1654], ["sure", 1667], ["sandwich", 1713], ["sandwiches", 1713], ["take", 1721], ["best", 1748], ["bested", 1748], ["bestest", 1748], ["go", 1751], ["goest", 1751], ["get", 1755], ["town", 1811], ["resign", 1825], ["resigned", 1825], ["scurry", 1840], ["scurried", 1840], ["wall", 1857], ["hook", 1863], ["hooks", 1863], ["conversation", 1883], ["silence", 1892], ["silenced", 1892], ["fill", 1911], ["fills", 1911], ["filled", 1911], ["rescue", 1962], ["rescued", 1962], ["biscuit", 1971], ["biscuits", 1971], ["oven", 1985], ["pop", 1996], ["popped", 1996], ["basket", 2015], ["finish", 2045], ["finished", 2045], ["button", 2061], ["buttoning", 2061], ["hand", 2095], ["egg", 2106], ["egging", 2106], ["wrap", 2123], ["wraps", 2123], ["wrapping", 2123], ["wrapped", 2123], ["napkin", 2135], ["wave", 2146], ["waved", 2146], ["waving", 2146], ["cross", 2177], ["crossing", 2177], ["crossed", 2177], ["porch", 2187], ["food", 2194], ["foods", 2194], ["hand", 2202], ["wind", 2209], ["snow", 2238], ["stop", 2250], ["stopped", 2250], ["cold", 2261], ["thing", 2286], ["work", 2315], ["wrought", 2315], ["choice", 2359], ["maureen", 2369], ["shiver", 2398], ["shivering", 2398], ["shivered", 2398], ["squint", 2410], ["squinting", 2410], ["squintest", 2410], ["golden", 2429], ["glare", 2435], ["dawn", 2443], ["dawnest", 2443], ["toward", 2450], ["wait", 2469], ["waitest", 2469], ["waiting", 2469], ["ride", 2482], ["rode", 2482], ["man", 2490], ["mans", 2490], ["manned", 2490], ["figure", 2500], ["move", 2506], ["moved", 2506], ["shadowy", 2525], ["door", 2536], ["doors", 2536], ["see", 2565], ["back", 2580], ["work", 2604], ["wrought", 2604], ["worked", 2604], ["bend", 2614], ["bent", 2614], ["bending", 2614], ["cinch", 2625], ["cinches", 2625], ["saddle", 2636], ["casey", 2645], ["hey", 2654], ["friendly", 2687], ["voice", 2693], ["call", 2700], ["called", 2700], ["squeak", 2723], ["squeaks", 2723], ["squeaking", 2723], ["sound", 2729], ["runner", 2740], ["runners", 2740], ["come", 2757], ["coming", 2757], ["direction", 2782], ["surprise", 2795], ["surprised", 2795], ["fight", 2826], ["fightest", 2826], ["keep", 2834], ["keepest", 2834], ["stray", 2857], ["strays", 2857], ["strayed", 2857], ["straying", 2857], ["force", 2905], ["forced", 2905], ["smile", 2913], ["young", 2926], ["youngest", 2926], ["drive", 2938], ["driving", 2938], ["way", 2946], ["ways", 2946], ["hi", 2954], ["driver", 2995], ["pull", 3023], ["pulled", 3023], ["phil", 3028], ["stop", 3038], ["orla", 3066], ["gather", 3094], ["gatherest", 3094], ["gathered", 3094], ["skirt", 3105], ["skirts", 3105], ["climb", 3114], ["small", 3129], ["seat", 3138], ["sleigh", 3145], ["sleighs", 3145], ["sleighing", 3145], ["hold", 3171], ["elbow", 3184], ["elbowing", 3184], ["year", 3225], ["years", 3225], ["young", 3233], ["youngest", 3233], ["eighteen", 3258], ["eighteens", 3258], ["sweetheart", 3277], ["handsome", 3304], ["handsomes", 3304], ["honest", 3318], ["eye", 3334], ["eyed", 3334], ["eyes", 3334], ["lady", 3368], ["ladies", 3368], ["everywhere", 3379], ["swoon", 3388], ["swooning", 3388], ["aware", 3426], ["feel", 3442], ["felt", 3442], ["brother", 3470], ["brethren", 3470], ["spoil", 3501], ["spoiled", 3501], ["extra", 3512], ["extras", 3512], ["serving", 3521], ["servings", 3521], ["dessert", 3532], ["supper", 3546], ["table", 3552], ["tabled", 3552], ["tabling", 3552], ["buffalo", 3597], ["buffaloed", 3597], ["robe", 3602], ["doc", 3641], ["gon", 3649], ["na", 3652], ["nas", 3652], ["drop", 3657], ["today", 3672], ["yes", 3684], ["although", 3695], ["good", 3746], ["try", 3760], ["tryed", 3760], ["settle", 3777], ["settled", 3777], ["warmth", 3837], ["forward", 3865], ["forwardest", 3865], ["forwarding", 3865], ["road", 3877], ["ahead", 3883], ["behind", 3900], ["swear", 3916], ["sweared", 3916], ["feel", 3931], ["weight", 3942], ["weighted", 3942], ["weightest", 3942], ["stare", 3958], ["stared", 3958], ["determine", 3971], ["determined", 3971], ["press", 3985], ["pressed", 3985], ["lip", 3994], ["lipped", 3994], ["lips", 3994], ["together", 4003], ["proper", 4016], ["stoic", 4026], ["spinster", 4035], ["need", 4046], ["needest", 4046], ["needed", 4046], ["seem", 4071], ["seeming", 4071], ["seems", 4071], ["bad", 4077], ["worse", 4077], ["accord", 4102], ["according", 4102], ["trouble", 4140], ["troubling", 4140], ["swallow", 4151], ["swallows", 4151], ["swallowing", 4151], ["tea", 4170], ["teas", 4170], ["snap", 4210], ["snapping", 4210], ["snapped", 4210], ["rein", 4220], ["reins", 4220], ["take", 4232], ["took", 4232], ["well", 4248], ["wells", 4248], ["lunge", 4263], ["lunges", 4263], ["speed", 4285], ["speeding", 4285], ["sped", 4285], ["hill", 4299], ["crisp", 4337], ["crisping", 4337], ["sound", 4354], ["sounds", 4354], ["run", 4370]]
they looked pale and a bit shaken , but then she could have been imagining it . another couple looked vaguely dissatisfied and did n't say much . there were other people further down the table . winnie would meet them later . they ate smoked trout with horseradish cream and homemade brown soda bread to start , then a roast lamb expertly carved by mrs starr . there were vegetarian dishes as well , and a huge apple pie . wine was poured from old cut-crystal decanters . the sheedy sisters used to pour their orange squash and lemonade from these very decanters . they were beautiful antiques and felt like part of the house . winnie could n't help but admire the way that it was all working out . the guests seemed to be talking easily . mrs starr had been quite right not to fuss around introducing them to each other . everything had been cleared seamlessly and young orla had stacked a big dishwasher and gone home . mrs starr joined them for coffee . she explained that breakfast would be a continuous buffet but if people wanted a cooked meal they must assemble at nine . a packed lunch would be supplied for anyone who needed one , or else they could have a list of pubs in the area that served light lunches . there were bicycles outside if anyone would like to use them , and there were binoculars , umbrellas and even a selection of wellington boots . she told them about the various walking routes they might try and the local points of interest . there were a number of pretty creeks and inlets which were great to explore when the weather was calm . there were cliff-top walks though the paths down to the sea needed great care . there were caves that were worth exploring , but they must check the tides first . majella 's cave was a good one . that had been a great place for lovers in the summertime , she had explained . it was easily cut off by the tide , so the boy and girl who wandered there had to stay for much longer than they had expected to until the seas had drawn back and let them go free ... after dinner , winnie texted teddy to tell him the place was charming and very different and that they had been made very welcome . she added that she loved him deeply also . but she wondered was this actually true . perhaps she was living in some never-never land . acting a role , playing a part , cast now and possibly for ever as the old , old friend of her future mother-in-law . she fell into a deep sleep and did n't wake until there was a knock at the door . lillian , fully dressed , made-up and ready to roll . 'thought you would n't want to miss the cooked breakfast , ' she said . 'at our age we need a good start to the day . ' winnie felt an overpowering rage . did lillian seriously think they were the same age ? 'i 'll be down in ten minutes , ' she said , rubbing her eyes . 'oh dear , you do n't have an ocean view , ' lillian said . 'i have lovely mountains , though , and i just love mountains , ' winnie said through gritted teeth . great thing about you , winnie , is that you are easily pleased . see you downstairs then . ' winnie stood in the shower . the week ahead seemed endless , and she had no one to blame but herself ... the young swede had gone off with the small intense woman called freda . henry , the english doctor , and his wife were ordering grilled mackerel . other guests looked at the map mrs starr had provided and talked enthusiastically about the places they might go . there was an american man called john who was suffering from jet lag and looked very tired . the weather was bright - no need for the umbrellas or wellington boots . packed lunches were prepared already and in waxed paper for those who wanted them . others had the names of pubs listed . by ten o'clock , all the guests had left stone house and mrs starr 's niece orla had arrived to do the bedrooms . a routine had been established . it was as if this holiday had been up and running for years rather than taking its first faltering steps . winnie and lillian had chosen the cliff walk . four miles with spectacular views , then you would arrive in west harbour . there they would go to brady 's bar . and after lunch , they would catch the bus that left every hour for stoneybridge . winnie looked back longingly at stone house . how good it would be to go back and sit with mrs starr at the table having further tea and fresh soda bread and talk about the world . instead , she had hours of competitive banter with lillian hennessy . but by the time they got to brady 's bar , winnie felt her shoulder muscles had relaxed . the views had been as spectacular as had been promised . lillian had been mercifully untalkative .	[["look", 11], ["looked", 11], ["pale", 16], ["bit", 26], ["bits", 26], ["imagine", 74], ["imagining", 74], ["another", 87], ["couple", 94], ["vaguely", 109], ["say", 138], ["sayest", 138], ["much", 143], ["people", 169], ["table", 192], ["tabled", 192], ["tabling", 192], ["winnie", 201], ["meet", 212], ["meeted", 212], ["later", 223], ["eat", 234], ["ate", 234], ["smoke", 241], ["smoked", 241], ["trout", 247], ["horseradish", 264], ["horseradishes", 264], ["cream", 270], ["creamest", 270], ["homemade", 283], ["brown", 289], ["browns", 289], ["soda", 294], ["sodas", 294], ["bread", 300], ["breads", 300], ["start", 309], ["roast", 324], ["lamb", 329], ["lambed", 329], ["expertly", 338], ["carve", 345], ["carved", 345], ["mrs", 352], ["starr", 358], ["vegetarian", 382], ["dish", 389], ["dished", 389], ["dishes", 389], ["well", 397], ["wells", 397], ["huge", 410], ["apple", 416], ["pie", 420], ["wine", 427], ["pour", 438], ["poured", 438], ["old", 447], ["cut", 451], ["crystal", 459], ["decanter", 469], ["decanters", 469], ["sheedy", 482], ["sister", 490], ["sisters", 490], ["use", 495], ["used", 495], ["pour", 503], ["orange", 516], ["squash", 523], ["squashing", 523], ["lemonade", 536], ["beautiful", 584], ["beautifulest", 584], ["antique", 593], ["antiques", 593], ["feel", 602], ["felt", 602], ["like", 607], ["part", 612], ["parting", 612], ["house", 625], ["help", 649], ["helpest", 649], ["admire", 660], ["way", 668], ["ways", 668], ["work", 692], ["wrought", 692], ["working", 692], ["guest", 709], ["guestest", 709], ["guests", 709], ["seem", 716], ["seeming", 716], ["seemed", 716], ["talk", 730], ["talking", 730], ["easily", 737], ["quite", 764], ["right", 770], ["rightest", 770], ["fuss", 782], ["fussing", 782], ["around", 789], ["introduce", 801], ["introducing", 801], ["everything", 833], ["clear", 850], ["clearest", 850], ["cleared", 850], ["seamlessly", 861], ["young", 871], ["youngest", 871], ["orla", 876], ["stack", 888], ["stacks", 888], ["stacked", 888], ["big", 894], ["bigs", 894], ["dishwasher", 905], ["go", 914], ["goest", 914], ["gone", 914], ["home", 919], ["homing", 919], ["join", 938], ["joinest", 938], ["joined", 938], ["coffee", 954], ["explain", 970], ["explained", 970], ["breakfast", 985], ["continuous", 1007], ["buffet", 1014], ["buffeting", 1014], ["meal", 1049], ["must", 1059], ["musts", 1059], ["assemble", 1068], ["assembles", 1068], ["nine", 1076], ["lunch", 1093], ["lunched", 1093], ["lunches", 1093], ["supply", 1111], ["supplied", 1111], ["anyone", 1122], ["need", 1133], ["needest", 1133], ["needed", 1133], ["else", 1147], ["list", 1170], ["pub", 1178], ["pubbing", 1178], ["pubs", 1178], ["area", 1190], ["serve", 1202], ["served", 1202], ["lit", 1208], ["light", 1208], ["lunch", 1216], ["lunched", 1216], ["lunches", 1216], ["bicycle", 1238], ["bicycles", 1238], ["outside", 1246], ["use", 1274], ["binocular", 1307], ["binoculars", 1307], ["umbrella", 1319], ["umbrellas", 1319], ["even", 1328], ["evens", 1328], ["selection", 1340], ["wellington", 1354], ["boot", 1360], ["boots", 1360], ["tell", 1371], ["told", 1371], ["various", 1394], ["walking", 1402], ["route", 1409], ["routed", 1409], ["routeing", 1409], ["routes", 1409], ["may", 1420], ["mays", 1420], ["mayest", 1420], ["might", 1420], ["try", 1424], ["tryed", 1424], ["local", 1438], ["point", 1445], ["points", 1445], ["interest", 1457], ["number", 1479], ["numbering", 1479], ["pretty", 1489], ["prettiest", 1489], ["creek", 1496], ["creeks", 1496], ["inlet", 1507], ["inlets", 1507], ["great", 1524], ["explore", 1535], ["weather", 1552], ["calm", 1561], ["calms", 1561], ["cliff", 1580], ["cliffs", 1580], ["top", 1584], ["walk", 1590], ["walks", 1590], ["though", 1597], ["path", 1607], ["paths", 1607], ["sea", 1623], ["care", 1641], ["cave", 1660], ["caves", 1660], ["worth", 1676], ["explore", 1686], ["exploring", 1686], ["check", 1708], ["tide", 1718], ["tides", 1718], ["tiding", 1718], ["first", 1724], ["firstest", 1724], ["cave", 1742], ["good", 1753], ["place", 1787], ["lover", 1798], ["lovers", 1798], ["summertime", 1816], ["tide", 1872], ["tides", 1872], ["tiding", 1872], ["boy", 1885], ["girl", 1894], ["wander", 1907], ["wandered", 1907], ["stay", 1925], ["long", 1941], ["longs", 1941], ["expect", 1964], ["expected", 1964], ["sea", 1982], ["seas", 1982], ["draw", 1992], ["draws", 1992], ["drawn", 1992], ["back", 1997], ["let", 2005], ["lets", 2005], ["go", 2013], ["goest", 2013], ["free", 2018], ["dinner", 2035], ["texted", 2051], ["texting", 2051], ["teddy", 2057], ["teddies", 2057], ["tell", 2065], ["charming", 2092], ["different", 2111], ["welcome", 2152], ["add", 2164], ["added", 2164], ["love", 2179], ["loved", 2179], ["deeply", 2190], ["also", 2195], ["wonder", 2214], ["wonderest", 2214], ["wondered", 2214], ["true", 2237], ["perhaps", 2247], ["live", 2262], ["living", 2262], ["never", 2276], ["land", 2287], ["act", 2296], ["acted", 2296], ["acting", 2296], ["role", 2303], ["play", 2313], ["playest", 2313], ["playing", 2313], ["cast", 2327], ["casts", 2327], ["ever", 2353], ["everest", 2353], ["friend", 2377], ["future", 2391], ["mother", 2398], ["mothered", 2398], ["motherest", 2398], ["law", 2405], ["fall", 2416], ["falls", 2416], ["fell", 2416], ["deep", 2428], ["deeply", 2428], ["slept", 2434], ["sleep", 2434], ["sleeps", 2434], ["sleepest", 2434], ["wake", 2451], ["wakes", 2451], ["woken", 2451], ["knock", 2475], ["knocks", 2475], ["knockest", 2475], ["door", 2487], ["lillian", 2497], ["fully", 2505], ["dress", 2513], ["dressest", 2513], ["dressed", 2513], ["ready", 2533], ["roll", 2541], ["think", 2552], ["thinkest", 2552], ["thought", 2552], ["miss", 2579], ["say", 2613], ["sayest", 2613], ["said", 2613], ["age", 2627], ["aged", 2627], ["need", 2635], ["needest", 2635], ["day", 2659], ["rage", 2696], ["seriously", 2720], ["think", 2726], ["thinkest", 2726], ["ten", 2773], ["minute", 2781], ["minutes", 2781], ["rub", 2804], ["rubbing", 2804], ["eye", 2813], ["eyed", 2813], ["eyes", 2813], ["oh", 2819], ["dear", 2824], ["dearest", 2824], ["ocean", 2851], ["oceans", 2851], ["view", 2856], ["viewest", 2856], ["lovely", 2890], ["lovelier", 2890], ["mountain", 2900], ["mountains", 2900], ["love", 2927], ["tooth", 2975], ["teeth", 2975], ["thing", 2989], ["pleased", 3041], ["see", 3047], ["downstairs", 3062], ["stood", 3084], ["stand", 3084], ["standest", 3084], ["shower", 3098], ["showered", 3098], ["showerest", 3098], ["week", 3109], ["ahead", 3115], ["endless", 3130], ["blame", 3160], ["blamest", 3160], ["swede", 3192], ["small", 3220], ["intense", 3228], ["woman", 3234], ["womans", 3234], ["call", 3241], ["called", 3241], ["freda", 3247], ["henry", 3255], ["english", 3269], ["englishest", 3269], ["doctor", 3276], ["doctoring", 3276], ["doctorest", 3276], ["wife", 3291], ["order", 3305], ["orderest", 3305], ["ordering", 3305], ["grill", 3313], ["grilled", 3313], ["mackerel", 3322], ["mackerels", 3322], ["map", 3355], ["mapped", 3355], ["provide", 3378], ["provided", 3378], ["talk", 3389], ["talked", 3389], ["enthusiastically", 3406], ["place", 3423], ["places", 3423], ["american", 3461], ["americans", 3461], ["man", 3465], ["mans", 3465], ["manned", 3465], ["john", 3477], ["suffer", 3495], ["suffering", 3495], ["jet", 3504], ["jetting", 3504], ["lag", 3508], ["lagging", 3508], ["tired", 3530], ["bright", 3555], ["brights", 3555], ["prepare", 3634], ["prepared", 3634], ["already", 3642], ["wax", 3655], ["waxed", 3655], ["paper", 3661], ["name", 3710], ["names", 3710], ["list", 3725], ["listed", 3725], ["left", 3768], ["leave", 3768], ["stone", 3774], ["stoning", 3774], ["niece", 3803], ["arrive", 3820], ["arrived", 3820], ["bedroom", 3839], ["bedrooms", 3839], ["routine", 3851], ["routined", 3851], ["establish", 3872], ["establishes", 3872], ["establishest", 3872], ["established", 3872], ["holiday", 3900], ["holidays", 3900], ["holidayed", 3900], ["run", 3924], ["running", 3924], ["year", 3934], ["years", 3934], ["rather", 3941], ["take", 3953], ["taking", 3953], ["step", 3979], ["steps", 3979], ["choose", 4011], ["chosen", 4011], ["walk", 4026], ["four", 4033], ["mile", 4039], ["miles", 4039], ["spectacular", 4056], ["spectaculars", 4056], ["view", 4062], ["viewest", 4062], ["views", 4062], ["arrive", 4086], ["west", 4094], ["harbour", 4102], ["harbours", 4102], ["brady", 4133], ["bar", 4140], ["catch", 4177], ["catches", 4177], ["catched", 4177], ["bus", 4185], ["every", 4201], ["hour", 4206], ["longingly", 4254], ["sat", 4311], ["sit", 4311], ["tea", 4358], ["teas", 4358], ["fresh", 4368], ["freshest", 4368], ["talk", 4388], ["world", 4404], ["instead", 4414], ["hour", 4430], ["hours", 4430], ["competitive", 4445], ["banter", 4452], ["hennessy", 4474], ["time", 4492], ["get", 4501], ["got", 4501], ["shoulder", 4544], ["shouldered", 4544], ["muscle", 4552], ["muscles", 4552], ["relax", 4564], ["relaxed", 4564], ["promise", 4621], ["promised", 4621], ["mercifully", 4651], ["untalkative", 4663]]
was he put out because she was n't jumping up and down to find out about the secret ? `` i hope you think so . '' he stared , those piercing dark eyes looking anxious and confused . a denial , pure and simple . damn , the man was so moody . from highs to lows , from mischief to pensive , all in a snap . everyone always just adapted , kimber noticed . jesse was so used to the world revolving around him . it was so unlike her father and brothers , who only had three modes : work , laughter , and anger-in that order . jesse was all over the emotional map . `` what happened to the you i used to know ? '' jesse 's gaze snapped back to her . kimber fought the urge to fidget and looked away . but they had n't had an honest conversation in the last week . passing and superficial , yes . he 'd asked about her family , her schooling , scraped a bit of the surface about her wishes for the future . granted , she had n't exactly been forthcoming . she could n't blurt out to the man she 'd come to explore a future with that her heart was someplace else . besides , he was totally absorbed with this tour and had n't opened up to her . some days , he hardly talked at all . unlike deke , who 'd always connected with her , even with just a glance . he 'd told her where she stood , even when he was trying to lie , whether she wanted to hear it or not . `` i think you know what i mean , '' she whispered , forcing her thoughts away from the iron-hearted bodyguard . `` you 've ... changed . '' `` you have , too . you 're more confident and mature and sexy as hell . '' he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth . `` when i 'm with you , i feel clearer , more centered . i guess it 's taking me a while to adjust to not partying all the time . '' in some ways , kimber felt like she was talking to a stranger . `` i 'm not here to change your life . '' `` i need to change my life , and i know you 're the key . i think back to that summer i spent with you and your dad all the time and remember stuff we talked about , things we did . we found plenty of good , clean ways to have fun . '' he paused , a glint making his dark eyes sparkle . `` hey , you know what i have on dvd ? '' mischief lurked in that smile . and a hint of happiness . the first she 'd seen in a week . kimber relaxed and returned his grin . `` american pie ? '' we 've got a few hours before we have to be at the arena . wan na ? '' watch the movie that had made them laugh so hard they 'd cried together that summer ? he clambered over the back of the sofa and grabbed the phone . in seconds , he was demanding popcorn from room service . by the time he found the dvd , figured out how to work the equipment connected to the suite 's plasma tv , and had the menu on the screen , the popcorn had arrived . for over an hour , they laughed at the antics of four high school boys all trying to lose their virginity by prom night . `` watch this , '' jesse demanded , tossing popcorn in the air and trying to catch it with his open mouth . the piece hit him on the cheek , and kimber laughed . `` okay , so i 'm out of practice . and it works better with mandm 's . '' she mock-punched him in the shoulder . `` let 's see you do better . '' arching a brow , she plucked up a piece of the fluffy popcorn and tossed it . a perfect landing on her tongue . `` show-off , '' he grumbled , but tossed an arm around her shoulders as they settled in for the rest of the movie . and it was comfortable . when it was over , he turned the tv and dvd player off , wearing a huge smile . `` that movie always reminds me of the summer we spent together . i do n't think i 've ever had a better time . no groupies . just ... fun . '' `` i enjoyed that summer , too . '' the air had been ripe with the hope of first love . they 'd been innocent enough- nothing beyond kisses-but every one of those had seemed so hot and forbidden . the fact he 'd bought the very dvd that reminded him of her and carried it with him touched her . watching it together again had been a blast . but had watching it helped jesse to tune in to the emotional connection they 'd once shared or just remind him of a happier past ? was he actually interested in her , or was she like the dvd , just another reminder of a better time ? and why was she staying here , giving jesse false hope , when deke was so obviously dominating her heart ?	[["put", 10], ["jump", 42], ["jumps", 42], ["jumping", 42], ["find", 62], ["secret", 83], ["hope", 95], ["think", 105], ["thinkest", 105], ["stare", 123], ["stared", 123], ["pierce", 140], ["piercing", 140], ["dark", 145], ["eye", 150], ["eyed", 150], ["eyes", 150], ["look", 158], ["looking", 158], ["anxious", 166], ["anxiousest", 166], ["denial", 190], ["pure", 197], ["pured", 197], ["simple", 208], ["simplest", 208], ["damn", 215], ["damned", 215], ["man", 225], ["mans", 225], ["manned", 225], ["moody", 238], ["high", 251], ["highs", 251], ["low", 259], ["lowed", 259], ["lows", 259], ["mischief", 275], ["mischiefs", 275], ["pensive", 286], ["snap", 302], ["snapping", 302], ["everyone", 313], ["always", 320], ["adapt", 333], ["adapts", 333], ["adapted", 333], ["kimber", 342], ["notice", 350], ["noticed", 350], ["jesse", 358], ["jessed", 358], ["use", 370], ["used", 370], ["world", 383], ["revolve", 393], ["revolving", 393], ["around", 400], ["unlike", 423], ["unliking", 423], ["father", 434], ["fathered", 434], ["fathering", 434], ["brother", 447], ["brethren", 447], ["brothers", 447], ["three", 468], ["mode", 474], ["moded", 474], ["work", 481], ["wrought", 481], ["laughter", 492], ["anger", 504], ["order", 518], ["orderest", 518], ["emotional", 553], ["map", 557], ["mapped", 557], ["happen", 576], ["happened", 576], ["know", 602], ["knowest", 602], ["gaze", 621], ["gazes", 621], ["snap", 629], ["snapping", 629], ["snapped", 629], ["back", 634], ["fight", 657], ["fightest", 657], ["fought", 657], ["urge", 666], ["fidget", 676], ["look", 687], ["looked", 687], ["away", 692], ["honest", 725], ["conversation", 738], ["last", 750], ["week", 755], ["passing", 765], ["superficial", 781], ["yes", 787], ["ask", 801], ["asked", 801], ["family", 818], ["schoolings", 834], ["scrape", 844], ["scraped", 844], ["bit", 850], ["bits", 850], ["surface", 865], ["wish", 882], ["wishes", 882], ["future", 897], ["grant", 907], ["grantest", 907], ["granted", 907], ["exactly", 929], ["blurt", 968], ["come", 995], ["explore", 1006], ["heart", 1035], ["someplace", 1049], ["else", 1054], ["besides", 1064], ["totally", 1081], ["absorb", 1090], ["absorbed", 1090], ["tour", 1105], ["open", 1124], ["opened", 1124], ["day", 1146], ["days", 1146], ["hardly", 1158], ["talk", 1165], ["talked", 1165], ["deke", 1186], ["connect", 1212], ["connectest", 1212], ["connected", 1212], ["even", 1228], ["evens", 1228], ["glance", 1247], ["tell", 1260], ["told", 1260], ["stood", 1280], ["stand", 1280], ["standest", 1280], ["try", 1306], ["tryed", 1306], ["trying", 1306], ["lay", 1313], ["lie", 1313], ["lain", 1313], ["whether", 1323], ["hear", 1342], ["hears", 1342], ["mean", 1386], ["meanest", 1386], ["whisper", 1405], ["whispered", 1405], ["force", 1415], ["forcing", 1415], ["thought", 1428], ["thoughts", 1428], ["iron", 1447], ["bodyguard", 1465], ["confident", 1538], ["mature", 1549], ["sexy", 1558], ["hell", 1566], ["hells", 1566], ["lean", 1581], ["leans", 1581], ["leaned", 1581], ["place", 1595], ["placed", 1595], ["gentle", 1604], ["gentler", 1604], ["kiss", 1609], ["kisses", 1609], ["kissest", 1609], ["mouth", 1622], ["mouthed", 1622], ["feel", 1655], ["clear", 1663], ["clearest", 1663], ["guess", 1689], ["take", 1702], ["taking", 1702], ["adjust", 1723], ["party", 1739], ["partying", 1739], ["time", 1752], ["way", 1770], ["ways", 1770], ["feel", 1784], ["felt", 1784], ["like", 1789], ["talk", 1805], ["talking", 1805], ["stranger", 1819], ["change", 1848], ["life", 1858], ["lifes", 1858], ["need", 1873], ["needest", 1873], ["key", 1920], ["keyed", 1920], ["keyest", 1920], ["summer", 1950], ["summering", 1950], ["spend", 1958], ["spends", 1958], ["spendest", 1958], ["spent", 1958], ["dad", 1980], ["remember", 2006], ["rememberest", 2006], ["stuff", 2012], ["thing", 2037], ["things", 2037], ["find", 2055], ["found", 2055], ["plenty", 2062], ["good", 2070], ["clean", 2078], ["cleans", 2078], ["fun", 2095], ["pause", 2110], ["paused", 2110], ["glint", 2120], ["sparkle", 2149], ["hey", 2158], ["dvd", 2188], ["dvds", 2188], ["lurk", 2209], ["lurks", 2209], ["lurked", 2209], ["smile", 2223], ["hint", 2236], ["hinting", 2236], ["happiness", 2249], ["first", 2261], ["firstest", 2261], ["see", 2273], ["seen", 2273], ["relax", 2300], ["relaxed", 2300], ["return", 2313], ["returnest", 2313], ["returned", 2313], ["grin", 2322], ["american", 2336], ["americans", 2336], ["pie", 2340], ["get", 2356], ["got", 2356], ["hour", 2368], ["hours", 2368], ["arena", 2402], ["arenas", 2402], ["wan", 2408], ["wans", 2408], ["wanest", 2408], ["na", 2411], ["nas", 2411], ["watch", 2422], ["movie", 2432], ["laugh", 2457], ["hard", 2465], ["cry", 2479], ["cried", 2479], ["together", 2488], ["clamber", 2515], ["clambered", 2515], ["sofa", 2541], ["grab", 2553], ["grabbed", 2553], ["phone", 2563], ["second", 2576], ["seconded", 2576], ["seconds", 2576], ["demand", 2595], ["demandest", 2595], ["demanding", 2595], ["popcorn", 2603], ["room", 2613], ["roomed", 2613], ["service", 2621], ["servicing", 2621], ["figure", 2662], ["figured", 2662], ["equipment", 2692], ["suite", 2715], ["plasma", 2725], ["tv", 2728], ["menu", 2747], ["menus", 2747], ["screen", 2761], ["screening", 2761], ["arrive", 2787], ["arrived", 2787], ["hour", 2806], ["laugh", 2821], ["laughed", 2821], ["antic", 2835], ["antics", 2835], ["four", 2843], ["high", 2848], ["school", 2855], ["schooling", 2855], ["boy", 2860], ["boys", 2860], ["lose", 2879], ["virginity", 2895], ["prom", 2903], ["night", 2909], ["demand", 2945], ["demandest", 2945], ["demanded", 2945], ["toss", 2955], ["tossing", 2955], ["air", 2974], ["airs", 2974], ["airing", 2974], ["catch", 2994], ["catches", 2994], ["catched", 2994], ["open", 3011], ["piece", 3029], ["pieced", 3029], ["hit", 3033], ["cheek", 3050], ["cheeks", 3050], ["okay", 3081], ["practice", 3107], ["work", 3122], ["wrought", 3122], ["works", 3122], ["well", 3129], ["wells", 3129], ["mock", 3157], ["mocking", 3157], ["punch", 3165], ["punching", 3165], ["punched", 3165], ["shoulder", 3185], ["shouldered", 3185], ["let", 3194], ["lets", 3194], ["see", 3201], ["arch", 3228], ["arching", 3228], ["brow", 3235], ["pluck", 3249], ["plucked", 3249], ["fluffy", 3274], ["toss", 3293], ["tossed", 3293], ["perfect", 3308], ["perfectest", 3308], ["landing", 3316], ["tongue", 3330], ["tonguing", 3330], ["show", 3340], ["grumble", 3361], ["grumbles", 3361], ["grumbled", 3361], ["arm", 3381], ["shoulder", 3402], ["shouldered", 3402], ["shoulders", 3402], ["settle", 3418], ["settled", 3418], ["rest", 3434], ["comfortable", 3472], ["turn", 3503], ["turned", 3503], ["player", 3525], ["wear", 3539], ["wearing", 3539], ["huge", 3546], ["remind", 3583], ["reminds", 3583], ["ever", 3646], ["everest", 3646], ["groupie", 3678], ["groupies", 3678], ["enjoy", 3711], ["enjoyed", 3711], ["ripe", 3756], ["love", 3784], ["innocent", 3808], ["nothing", 3824], ["beyond", 3831], ["every", 3848], ["seem", 3872], ["seeming", 3872], ["seemed", 3872], ["hot", 3879], ["fact", 3904], ["buy", 3917], ["buyed", 3917], ["bought", 3917], ["remind", 3944], ["reminded", 3944], ["carry", 3967], ["carried", 3967], ["touch", 3987], ["touching", 3987], ["touched", 3987], ["watch", 4002], ["watching", 4002], ["blast", 4037], ["help", 4066], ["helpest", 4066], ["helped", 4066], ["tune", 4080], ["tuning", 4080], ["connection", 4111], ["share", 4131], ["shared", 4131], ["remind", 4146], ["happy", 4163], ["happier", 4163], ["past", 4168], ["interested", 4197], ["another", 4245], ["stay", 4297], ["staying", 4297], ["give", 4311], ["giving", 4311], ["false", 4323], ["obviously", 4357], ["dominate", 4368], ["dominating", 4368]]
she knows not to bother me if im in my room and the doors closedsomething must be up . the girl is smart . she knew to prod me in the side with something from a distance instead of approaching me on the bed . its rather undignified in the same vein , but then id rather suffer the indignity instead of hurting her . i suddenly realize im naked . straightening slowly from my defensive stance , i fix a questioning look on lacey . i clip out . she doesnt blink at the fact that im as naked as the day i was born . she doesnt blink at the fact that i attack people in my sleep , either . we know not to probe each other , to go digging in places were not welcome . she has her shit and i most definitely have mine . i dont feel all that great , lace whispers . do we have any painkillers ? when your housemate decides to kill herself , there are certain precautions you take when she comes home . got codeine in your medicine cabinet ? paracetamol ? knives in your kitchen ? bleach under your kitchen sink ? yeah , i dont . not until im sure laceys straight again . i pad barefoot to my bedside table and grab the pack of tylenol i keep there to take the edge off my hangovers . they can be fucking brutal depending on how hard i punish myself , or how bad the nightmares are . i pop two pills out of the blister pack and head for lacey , offering them out in my hand . jeez , zee , youre being a retard . youre the retard . she knows i havent forgiven her for the shit she pulled yet , but she hasnt said shes sorry . ill die holding my breath before that ever happens . i expect a part of her is actually waiting for me to say it : sorry , lace . sorry i dragged your ungrateful ass to the hospital yet again . sorry for saving your life . shes being a selfish bitch right now . i watch as she tosses the pills down her throat and swallows them dry . and then i cross a line . why , lace ? she doesnt bother pretending not to know what im asking her . all of those doctors at the hospital , each and every one of them , must have asked her the same question . she tucks her crazy hair behind her ear and tugs on the cuff of her robe . ive broken a secret accord between the two of us . she knows , though . she knows she cant brush me off . she knows she has to tell me something , be it all the truth or just half . she frowns , anger flickering in her eyes . you know when you wake up in the middle of the night and your hearts pounding ? when the dream feels so real you can still feel and hear everything ringing in your ears , crawling across your skin ? when you cant even fucking close your eyes without being terrified ? i remain still as marble , fiercely studying her . she knows i experience that on a nightly basis but i wont admit it . i will never admit to being afraid again . lacey accepts my silence . well i dont feel that anymore , zeth . i dreamand i wake up and im not ... not scared anymore . my bodys accepted it . theres something very wrong with me , she whispers . theres a horror in her eyes that i understand all too well . whatever happened to her , somewhere along the way her body has committed the darkest act of betrayal : it started enjoying it . dying is the only thing im afraid of these days , she breathes , and i need to be afraid . i need to not feel likelike i do . id rather be dead . she looks like a little lost girl with her grungy robe , and her messy hair , and her haunted blue eyes . i look away , nodding . i cant hug her . i cant hold her . there are some things i can do , and there are some things i can not . nothing , she tells me . her face takes on a vacant stare as she focuses on my chest . that doctor , she wanted me to go see her friend . said she would help me . told her the truth . that theres no point . theres no fixing something thats not even vaguely what it used to be . i barely feel human , zeth . im like one of those statues left behind after pompeii . the shape of mes still here . the outline of who i used to be . but the rest of me is gone . ill never get it back again . im just ash and stone . ****** sloane i hear the knock on the door even though the radio is turned up to ear-splitting volumes . i have no neighbors , not for a good mile or two , so i never have to worry about noise complaints . dum dum dum . the thuds practically shake the glass in the window frames that overlook the city in the distance . i pause in folding my laundry . whoever it is , theyre getting pissed off . i immediately think the worst : its him . but then i rememberzeth has a key .	[["know", 9], ["knowest", 9], ["knows", 9], ["bother", 23], ["bothers", 23], ["bothering", 23], ["room", 43], ["roomed", 43], ["door", 57], ["doors", 57], ["must", 78], ["musts", 78], ["girl", 95], ["smart", 104], ["know", 115], ["knowest", 115], ["knew", 115], ["prod", 123], ["prods", 123], ["side", 138], ["sidest", 138], ["distance", 169], ["distancing", 169], ["instead", 177], ["approach", 192], ["approaches", 192], ["approaching", 192], ["bed", 206], ["rather", 219], ["vein", 248], ["suffer", 276], ["suffering", 276], ["indignity", 290], ["hurt", 309], ["hurts", 309], ["hurting", 309], ["suddenly", 326], ["realize", 334], ["naked", 343], ["straighten", 359], ["straightened", 359], ["straightening", 359], ["slowly", 366], ["defensive", 384], ["stance", 391], ["fix", 399], ["fixes", 399], ["questioning", 413], ["look", 418], ["lacey", 427], ["clip", 436], ["blink", 459], ["blinked", 459], ["fact", 471], ["day", 499], ["bore", 510], ["bear", 510], ["bearest", 510], ["born", 510], ["attack", 555], ["people", 562], ["slept", 574], ["sleep", 574], ["sleeps", 574], ["sleepest", 574], ["either", 583], ["know", 593], ["knowest", 593], ["probe", 606], ["probed", 606], ["go", 625], ["goest", 625], ["dug", 633], ["dig", 633], ["digs", 633], ["digest", 633], ["digging", 633], ["place", 643], ["places", 643], ["welcome", 660], ["shit", 679], ["definitely", 701], ["feel", 725], ["great", 740], ["lace", 747], ["whisper", 756], ["whispers", 756], ["painkiller", 785], ["painkillers", 785], ["housemate", 807], ["decide", 815], ["decides", 815], ["kill", 823], ["certain", 851], ["precaution", 863], ["precautions", 863], ["take", 872], ["come", 887], ["comes", 887], ["home", 892], ["homing", 892], ["get", 898], ["got", 898], ["codeine", 906], ["medicine", 923], ["medicines", 923], ["cabinet", 931], ["paracetamol", 945], ["knife", 954], ["knifes", 954], ["knives", 954], ["kitchen", 970], ["kitchens", 970], ["bleach", 979], ["bleaches", 979], ["bleaching", 979], ["sink", 1003], ["sank", 1003], ["yeah", 1010], ["sure", 1039], ["lacey", 1046], ["straight", 1055], ["pad", 1069], ["padding", 1069], ["barefoot", 1078], ["bedside", 1092], ["table", 1098], ["tabled", 1098], ["tabling", 1098], ["grab", 1107], ["pack", 1116], ["tylenol", 1127], ["keep", 1134], ["keepest", 1134], ["edge", 1157], ["edges", 1157], ["hangover", 1174], ["hangovers", 1174], ["fuck", 1196], ["fucking", 1196], ["brutal", 1203], ["depend", 1213], ["depending", 1213], ["hard", 1225], ["punish", 1234], ["bad", 1254], ["nightmare", 1269], ["nightmares", 1269], ["pop", 1281], ["two", 1285], ["twos", 1285], ["pill", 1291], ["pills", 1291], ["blister", 1310], ["blistered", 1310], ["blistering", 1310], ["head", 1324], ["offer", 1345], ["hand", 1365], ["jeez", 1372], ["zee", 1378], ["retard", 1401], ["retarded", 1401], ["forgive", 1450], ["forgived", 1450], ["forgiving", 1450], ["forgiven", 1450], ["pull", 1478], ["pulled", 1478], ["yet", 1482], ["say", 1503], ["sayest", 1503], ["said", 1503], ["sorry", 1514], ["ill", 1520], ["ills", 1520], ["illest", 1520], ["die", 1524], ["hold", 1532], ["holding", 1532], ["breath", 1542], ["breathest", 1542], ["ever", 1559], ["everest", 1559], ["happen", 1567], ["happens", 1567], ["expect", 1578], ["part", 1585], ["parting", 1585], ["wait", 1612], ["waitest", 1612], ["waiting", 1612], ["say", 1626], ["sayest", 1626], ["drag", 1662], ["dragged", 1662], ["ungrateful", 1678], ["ass", 1682], ["hospital", 1698], ["save", 1727], ["saving", 1727], ["life", 1737], ["lifes", 1737], ["selfish", 1760], ["selfishest", 1760], ["bitch", 1766], ["right", 1772], ["rightest", 1772], ["watch", 1786], ["toss", 1800], ["throat", 1826], ["swallow", 1839], ["swallows", 1839], ["dry", 1848], ["drier", 1848], ["drying", 1848], ["cross", 1867], ["crossing", 1867], ["line", 1874], ["pretend", 1918], ["pretendest", 1918], ["pretending", 1918], ["ask", 1945], ["asking", 1945], ["doctor", 1972], ["doctoring", 1972], ["doctorest", 1972], ["doctors", 1972], ["every", 2005], ["ask", 2035], ["asked", 2035], ["question", 2057], ["tuck", 2069], ["tucked", 2069], ["tucking", 2069], ["tucks", 2069], ["crazy", 2079], ["hair", 2084], ["behind", 2091], ["ear", 2099], ["tug", 2108], ["tugging", 2108], ["tugs", 2108], ["cuff", 2120], ["robe", 2132], ["break", 2145], ["broke", 2145], ["broken", 2145], ["secret", 2154], ["accord", 2161], ["though", 2204], ["brush", 2231], ["brushest", 2231], ["tell", 2266], ["truth", 2301], ["half", 2314], ["frown", 2327], ["frowns", 2327], ["anger", 2335], ["eye", 2358], ["eyed", 2358], ["eyes", 2358], ["wake", 2383], ["wakes", 2383], ["woken", 2383], ["middle", 2400], ["middles", 2400], ["middling", 2400], ["night", 2413], ["heart", 2429], ["hearts", 2429], ["pound", 2438], ["pounding", 2438], ["dream", 2455], ["dreamt", 2455], ["dreamest", 2455], ["feel", 2461], ["feels", 2461], ["reis", 2469], ["real", 2469], ["still", 2483], ["hear", 2497], ["hears", 2497], ["everything", 2508], ["rung", 2516], ["rang", 2516], ["ring", 2516], ["ringing", 2516], ["ear", 2529], ["ears", 2529], ["crawl", 2540], ["crawled", 2540], ["across", 2547], ["skin", 2557], ["even", 2578], ["evens", 2578], ["close", 2592], ["without", 2610], ["terrify", 2626], ["terrified", 2626], ["remain", 2637], ["marble", 2653], ["fiercely", 2664], ["study", 2673], ["studying", 2673], ["experience", 2702], ["experienced", 2702], ["nightly", 2720], ["basis", 2726], ["admit", 2743], ["never", 2761], ["afraid", 2783], ["accept", 2805], ["accepts", 2805], ["silence", 2816], ["well", 2823], ["wells", 2823], ["anymore", 2848], ["scare", 2904], ["scared", 2904], ["accept", 2932], ["accepted", 2932], ["wrong", 2965], ["horror", 3006], ["understand", 3036], ["understanded", 3036], ["whatever", 3060], ["happen", 3069], ["happened", 3069], ["somewhere", 3088], ["along", 3094], ["way", 3102], ["ways", 3102], ["body", 3111], ["bodied", 3111], ["commit", 3125], ["committed", 3125], ["dark", 3137], ["act", 3141], ["acted", 3141], ["betrayal", 3153], ["betrayals", 3153], ["start", 3166], ["started", 3166], ["enjoy", 3175], ["enjoyed", 3175], ["enjoying", 3175], ["die", 3186], ["dying", 3186], ["thing", 3204], ["day", 3228], ["days", 3228], ["breathes", 3243], ["need", 3256], ["needest", 3256], ["dead", 3324], ["look", 3336], ["looks", 3336], ["like", 3341], ["little", 3350], ["lost", 3355], ["grungy", 3376], ["messy", 3397], ["messier", 3397], ["haunt", 3420], ["haunted", 3420], ["hauntest", 3420], ["haunting", 3420], ["blue", 3425], ["away", 3444], ["nod", 3454], ["hug", 3467], ["hold", 3485], ["thing", 3513], ["things", 3513], ["nothing", 3570], ["tell", 3582], ["tells", 3582], ["face", 3596], ["take", 3602], ["takes", 3602], ["vacant", 3614], ["stare", 3620], ["stared", 3620], ["focus", 3635], ["focuses", 3635], ["chest", 3647], ["doctor", 3661], ["doctoring", 3661], ["doctorest", 3661], ["see", 3687], ["friend", 3698], ["help", 3720], ["helpest", 3720], ["tell", 3730], ["told", 3730], ["point", 3767], ["fix", 3786], ["fixes", 3786], ["fixing", 3786], ["vaguely", 3819], ["use", 3832], ["used", 3832], ["barely", 3849], ["human", 3860], ["statue", 3898], ["statues", 3898], ["left", 3903], ["leave", 3903], ["pompeii", 3924], ["shape", 3936], ["shapes", 3936], ["mes", 3943], ["outline", 3968], ["outlines", 3968], ["rest", 4003], ["go", 4017], ["goest", 4017], ["gone", 4017], ["get", 4033], ["back", 4041], ["ash", 4061], ["ashing", 4061], ["stone", 4071], ["stoning", 4071], ["knock", 4104], ["knocks", 4104], ["knockest", 4104], ["door", 4116], ["radio", 4138], ["turn", 4148], ["turned", 4148], ["split", 4168], ["volume", 4176], ["volumed", 4176], ["volumes", 4176], ["neighbor", 4198], ["neighbors", 4198], ["good", 4215], ["mile", 4220], ["miles", 4220], ["worry", 4254], ["worried", 4254], ["noise", 4266], ["complaint", 4277], ["complaints", 4277], ["dum", 4283], ["thud", 4303], ["thuds", 4303], ["practically", 4315], ["shake", 4321], ["glass", 4331], ["window", 4345], ["windows", 4345], ["frame", 4352], ["frames", 4352], ["overlook", 4366], ["city", 4375], ["pause", 4401], ["fold", 4412], ["folding", 4412], ["laundry", 4423], ["whoever", 4433], ["get", 4456], ["getting", 4456], ["immediately", 4483], ["think", 4489], ["thinkest", 4489], ["bad", 4499], ["worst", 4499], ["key", 4545], ["keyed", 4545], ["keyest", 4545]]
all traces of amusement faded from rush 's eyes and his face tightened . lindy knew she was right . `` by this time tomorrow , you 'll be gone . '' she forced herself to offer him a brave smile . `` and i 'm going to be alone . '' rush stood . his eyebrows were pulled down into a heavy ledge of concern . `` that 's right , lindy . up until this point everything 's gone smoothly for us . our whole world has been telescoped into a two-part universe . after tomorrow everything will change , and i doubt that it 'll ever be exactly the same again . in two weeks you could be wondering how you ever imagined yourself in love with me . '' she shook her head hard for emphasis . `` in two months , you 'll have forgotten what i look like . '' from his narrowed , tight expression , lindy knew he would n't listen to any denials . she had n't started this conversation to argue with him . the last thing she wanted was for them to spend their remaining hours fighting . `` you 're married to a man you hardly know who 's going to be leaving you for half a year . the next time i see you , it 'll be close to christmas . '' she crossed her arms and cleared her throat loudly . `` lindy , i 'm serious . i - `` `` you 're not saying anything i have n't already thought about a hundred times . i love you , rush , and i 've never been more sure of anything in my life . my feelings are n't going to change in ten days or ten years . '' tenderly he wrapped her in his arms then , and held her close . if there was anything more he wanted to tell her , he left it unsaid . hours later rush lay on his back in bed with lindy nestled , sleeping , in his arms . he had n't been able to sleep , dreading the thought of leaving her . getting married the way they had was possibly the most irresponsible thing he 'd done in his life . given the same set of circumstances he 'd marry lindy again . she astonished him . she was so sure , so absolutely confident they 'd done the right thing . her unwavering trust had been contagious . god knew , he 'd wanted her badly enough . steve seemed to think he 'd taken advantage of her , and perhaps he had , but that could n't be changed now . lindy was his wife , and by all that he considered holy , he planned to be a good husband to her . he closed his eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of jasmine and perfume that was lindy 's alone , knowing full well that within a few hours he would be walking away from her . rush thought his heart would burst with the love he felt for his wife . he softly kissed the crown of her head , cradled in the crook between his neck and shoulder . lindy callaghan was some kind of woman . they 'd made love together , their bodies moving in perfect synchronization , as though they 'd been married for years . all afternoon and evening , they 'd teased and played lovers ' games , pretending they had forever . rush wanted her again . but he had the feeling making love to her a thousand times would n't be enough to satisfy him . lindy woke from a sound sleep when rush pushed the thin fabric of her nightgown aside , his fingers light and quick . she hardly felt his movements until his mouth closed greedily over her nipple . she sucked on her bottom lip to keep from whimpering as the hot stab of pleasure pierced her . her head ground into the pillow with every moist stroke of his tongue . and when his teeth gently tugged at the raised peaks of her brsts , it felt as if he were pulling at a thread that was linked to the heart and heat of her womanhood . she moaned anew at a pleasure so intense it was akin to pain , and still rush sucked at the pebbled hardness . again and again , like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower , he sampled the sweetness of the nectar from her brsts until he was pleasurably sated . when she was sure she was about to melt with liquifying , pulsating need , rush lifted his head . he lay on his side and slid his hand down the smooth length of her stomach until his caressing fingers tangled in the nest of wispy hair . lindy stopped breathing as his fingers slowly delved deeper , charting fresh territory as they sought the opening to the moist warmth . with his probing finger inside her , lindy lifted her bottom and rotated her hips , saying without words what she wanted . rush 's mouth returned to her nipple and the hot cord of pleasure joining her br**sts and the core of her womanhood was drawn even tighter as he connected the two ends . when he had nearly driven her to the limits of sanity , rush moved his body over hers .	[["trace", 10], ["traces", 10], ["amusement", 23], ["fade", 29], ["faded", 29], ["rush", 39], ["eye", 47], ["eyed", 47], ["eyes", 47], ["face", 60], ["tighten", 70], ["tightens", 70], ["tightenest", 70], ["tightened", 70], ["lindy", 78], ["know", 83], ["knowest", 83], ["knew", 83], ["right", 97], ["rightest", 97], ["time", 115], ["tomorrow", 124], ["tomorrows", 124], ["go", 142], ["goest", 142], ["gone", 142], ["force", 158], ["forced", 158], ["offer", 175], ["brave", 187], ["smile", 193], ["go", 213], ["goest", 213], ["going", 213], ["alone", 225], ["stood", 241], ["stand", 241], ["standest", 241], ["eyebrow", 256], ["eyebrows", 256], ["pull", 268], ["pulled", 268], ["heavy", 286], ["heavies", 286], ["heavier", 286], ["ledge", 292], ["concern", 303], ["concerned", 303], ["concernest", 303], ["point", 352], ["everything", 363], ["smoothly", 380], ["whole", 399], ["wholes", 399], ["world", 405], ["telescope", 425], ["telescoped", 425], ["two", 436], ["twos", 436], ["part", 441], ["parting", 441], ["universe", 450], ["universes", 450], ["change", 490], ["doubt", 504], ["ever", 521], ["everest", 521], ["exactly", 532], ["week", 562], ["weeks", 562], ["wonder", 585], ["wonderest", 585], ["wondering", 585], ["imagine", 607], ["imagined", 607], ["love", 624], ["shake", 647], ["shook", 647], ["head", 656], ["hard", 661], ["emphasis", 674], ["month", 693], ["months", 693], ["forget", 718], ["forgot", 718], ["forgotten", 718], ["look", 730], ["like", 735], ["tight", 766], ["expression", 777], ["listen", 810], ["listens", 810], ["denial", 825], ["denials", 825], ["start", 847], ["started", 847], ["conversation", 865], ["argue", 874], ["last", 894], ["thing", 900], ["spend", 933], ["spends", 933], ["spendest", 933], ["remain", 949], ["remaining", 949], ["hour", 955], ["hours", 955], ["fight", 964], ["fightest", 964], ["marry", 985], ["married", 985], ["man", 994], ["mans", 994], ["manned", 994], ["hardly", 1005], ["know", 1010], ["knowest", 1010], ["left", 1037], ["leave", 1037], ["leaving", 1037], ["half", 1050], ["year", 1057], ["next", 1068], ["see", 1079], ["close", 1101], ["cross", 1131], ["crossing", 1131], ["crossed", 1131], ["arm", 1140], ["arms", 1140], ["clear", 1152], ["clearest", 1152], ["cleared", 1152], ["throat", 1163], ["loudly", 1170], ["serious", 1196], ["say", 1227], ["sayest", 1227], ["saying", 1227], ["anything", 1236], ["already", 1255], ["think", 1263], ["thought", 1263], ["thinkest", 1263], ["hundred", 1279], ["time", 1285], ["times", 1285], ["never", 1323], ["sure", 1338], ["life", 1361], ["lifes", 1361], ["feeling", 1375], ["feelings", 1375], ["ten", 1406], ["day", 1411], ["days", 1411], ["year", 1424], ["years", 1424], ["tenderly", 1438], ["wrap", 1449], ["wraps", 1449], ["wrapping", 1449], ["wrapped", 1449], ["hold", 1481], ["held", 1481], ["tell", 1538], ["left", 1552], ["leave", 1552], ["later", 1576], ["lay", 1585], ["lie", 1585], ["lain", 1585], ["back", 1597], ["bed", 1604], ["slept", 1634], ["sleep", 1634], ["sleeps", 1634], ["sleepest", 1634], ["sleeping", 1634], ["able", 1671], ["abled", 1671], ["slept", 1680], ["sleep", 1680], ["sleeps", 1680], ["sleepest", 1680], ["dread", 1691], ["dreading", 1691], ["get", 1728], ["getting", 1728], ["way", 1744], ["ways", 1744], ["irresponsible", 1789], ["give", 1826], ["given", 1826], ["set", 1839], ["circumstance", 1856], ["circumstances", 1856], ["marry", 1868], ["married", 1868], ["astonish", 1897], ["astonished", 1897], ["absolutely", 1935], ["confident", 1945], ["trust", 1997], ["contagious", 2017], ["god", 2023], ["badly", 2053], ["enough", 2060], ["steve", 2068], ["seem", 2075], ["seeming", 2075], ["seemed", 2075], ["think", 2084], ["thinkest", 2084], ["take", 2096], ["taken", 2096], ["advantage", 2106], ["advantaging", 2106], ["perhaps", 2127], ["change", 2166], ["changed", 2166], ["wife", 2191], ["consider", 2223], ["considered", 2223], ["holy", 2228], ["plan", 2241], ["planned", 2241], ["good", 2254], ["husband", 2262], ["husbanding", 2262], ["close", 2281], ["closed", 2281], ["inhale", 2302], ["inhaled", 2302], ["fresh", 2312], ["freshest", 2312], ["scent", 2318], ["scentest", 2318], ["jasmine", 2329], ["jasmines", 2329], ["perfume", 2341], ["perfumes", 2341], ["perfumed", 2341], ["know", 2375], ["knowest", 2375], ["knowing", 2375], ["full", 2380], ["well", 2385], ["wells", 2385], ["within", 2397], ["walk", 2429], ["walking", 2429], ["away", 2434], ["heart", 2468], ["burst", 2480], ["bursted", 2480], ["feel", 2502], ["felt", 2502], ["softly", 2527], ["kiss", 2534], ["kisses", 2534], ["kissest", 2534], ["kissed", 2534], ["crown", 2544], ["crowning", 2544], ["cradle", 2566], ["cradled", 2566], ["crook", 2579], ["crooked", 2579], ["neck", 2596], ["necked", 2596], ["shoulder", 2609], ["shouldered", 2609], ["callaghan", 2627], ["kind", 2641], ["woman", 2650], ["womans", 2650], ["together", 2679], ["body", 2694], ["bodied", 2694], ["bodies", 2694], ["move", 2701], ["moving", 2701], ["perfect", 2712], ["perfectest", 2712], ["synchronization", 2728], ["though", 2740], ["afternoon", 2787], ["evening", 2799], ["tease", 2816], ["teased", 2816], ["play", 2827], ["playest", 2827], ["played", 2827], ["lover", 2834], ["lovers", 2834], ["game", 2842], ["games", 2842], ["pretend", 2855], ["pretendest", 2855], ["pretending", 2855], ["forever", 2872], ["feeling", 2921], ["thousand", 2951], ["satisfy", 2988], ["wake", 3005], ["wakes", 3005], ["woken", 3005], ["woke", 3005], ["sound", 3018], ["push", 3041], ["pushed", 3041], ["thin", 3050], ["thins", 3050], ["fabric", 3057], ["nightgown", 3074], ["nightgowns", 3074], ["aside", 3080], ["finger", 3094], ["fingers", 3094], ["lit", 3100], ["light", 3100], ["quick", 3110], ["movement", 3142], ["movements", 3142], ["mouth", 3158], ["mouthed", 3158], ["greedily", 3174], ["nipple", 3190], ["nipples", 3190], ["suck", 3203], ["sucking", 3203], ["sucked", 3203], ["bottom", 3217], ["bottoming", 3217], ["lip", 3221], ["lipped", 3221], ["keep", 3229], ["keepest", 3229], ["hot", 3256], ["stab", 3261], ["stabs", 3261], ["pleasure", 3273], ["pierce", 3281], ["pierced", 3281], ["grind", 3303], ["pillow", 3319], ["every", 3330], ["moist", 3336], ["stroke", 3343], ["tongue", 3357], ["tonguing", 3357], ["tooth", 3378], ["teeth", 3378], ["gently", 3385], ["tug", 3392], ["tugging", 3392], ["tugged", 3392], ["raise", 3406], ["raised", 3406], ["peak", 3412], ["peaks", 3412], ["pull", 3459], ["pulling", 3459], ["thread", 3471], ["link", 3487], ["linked", 3487], ["heat", 3509], ["heats", 3509], ["heated", 3509], ["womanhood", 3526], ["moan", 3539], ["moans", 3539], ["moanest", 3539], ["moaned", 3539], ["anew", 3544], ["intense", 3569], ["akin", 3581], ["akins", 3581], ["pain", 3589], ["still", 3601], ["pebble", 3628], ["pebbled", 3628], ["hardness", 3637], ["butterfly", 3674], ["flit", 3683], ["flitting", 3683], ["flower", 3695], ["sample", 3718], ["sampling", 3718], ["sampled", 3718], ["sweetness", 3732], ["nectar", 3746], ["pleasurably", 3788], ["sate", 3794], ["sates", 3794], ["sated", 3794], ["melt", 3836], ["meltest", 3836], ["pulsate", 3864], ["pulsates", 3864], ["pulsating", 3864], ["need", 3869], ["needest", 3869], ["lift", 3883], ["lifted", 3883], ["side", 3913], ["sidest", 3913], ["slid", 3922], ["hand", 3931], ["smooth", 3947], ["length", 3954], ["stomach", 3969], ["stomachs", 3969], ["stomaching", 3969], ["caress", 3989], ["tangle", 4005], ["tangling", 4005], ["tangled", 4005], ["nest", 4017], ["nestest", 4017], ["wispy", 4026], ["hair", 4031], ["stop", 4047], ["stopped", 4047], ["breathe", 4057], ["breathes", 4057], ["slowly", 4079], ["delve", 4086], ["deeply", 4093], ["chart", 4104], ["chartest", 4104], ["charting", 4104], ["territory", 4120], ["seek", 4135], ["sought", 4135], ["opening", 4147], ["warmth", 4167], ["probe", 4186], ["probed", 4186], ["probing", 4186], ["finger", 4193], ["inside", 4200], ["rotate", 4242], ["rotated", 4242], ["hip", 4251], ["hips", 4251], ["without", 4268], ["word", 4274], ["words", 4274], ["return", 4315], ["returnest", 4315], ["returned", 4315], ["cord", 4346], ["join", 4366], ["joinest", 4366], ["joining", 4366], ["core", 4391], ["draw", 4418], ["draws", 4418], ["drawn", 4418], ["even", 4423], ["evens", 4423], ["tight", 4431], ["connect", 4447], ["connectest", 4447], ["connected", 4447], ["end", 4460], ["ends", 4460], ["endest", 4460], ["nearly", 4481], ["drive", 4488], ["driven", 4488], ["limit", 4506], ["limited", 4506], ["limits", 4506], ["sanity", 4516], ["move", 4529], ["moved", 4529], ["body", 4538], ["bodied", 4538]]
jason forced his tongue into my mouth and exhaled deeplyperhaps a sigh . i broke off the kissafraid i might kill him in that instant . the churning fire deep inside was surging , pulsingmy ability to control it fading in the passion of the moment . jason 's hands slipped under my top and he clenched my sides , sliding his hands to my back . i made a futile attempt to pull away , but he moved with me . i pressed my head against his shoulder . `` jason , '' i warned , realizing he wanted morethe morethe more we 'd talked aboutthe more that could never happen . his hands slid up my back until he grasped my shoulders . he pressed his abdomen against mine . `` no , '' i protested , but pulled him tighter against me , gripping his muscular back . he buried his mouth into the nape of my neck , panting furiously . his hands shot down my back , beyond the string tie of my shorts and grasped my cheeks . he grimaced , his teeth scraping against my neck . then , i smelled it , blood ! jason 's blood . i pulled him even tighter , but held up one hand out in front of my face . it was then i saw the blood from his back trickling down from my fingertips . my razor , sharp fingernails had pierced his skin . i jerked my other hand away from him . i tried , but i could n't stop my hand from slowly rising to my face as a tiny streak of blood wound its way through the creases around my knuckles . in a struggle as old as my kind , i fought to resist , but i could not . jason 's blood touched my lips with a splendor beyond description . i hesitated , letting the ecstasy spread though my body . `` we both want this , '' jason panted . he pulled my hips toward his . i shook my head , trying desperately to break the trance . mustering all the resolve i had , in one fluid motion , i brought my hands to his chest and pushed . jason went flying into the back of the sofa . it flipped over from the impact sending him sprawling across the floor into the wall . `` we want this ! '' he hopped up and rushed toward me . i was standing there , trembling , hypnotized by the blood running down my fingers . jason put one foot on the back of the sofa and the other hit the upright bottom in midstride . the sofa rocked forward launching him toward me . without thinkingacting on reflexes alonei caught him in mid air and threw him over my shoulder . simultaneously , there was shattering glass , the air rushing out of jason 's lungs from the impact and a blood curdling scream from the kitchen as the room suddenly went black . i looked back toward the kitchen at the silhouette of a woman . i froze , still trying to regain control , but the bliss that radiated within my body was gonereplaced with only thirst and rage . an even more intense scent of blood crossed my nostrils and i inhaled deeply . instinct drew me toward the sourcetoward jason . i leaned over his crumbled body lying amid the pieces of the shattered big screen . the lights suddenly came on followed immediately by another scream . `` what are you ! '' jason 's mother gasped . she staggered , grasping at the wall and then collapsed . i caught her , before she hit the floor and gently laid her down . i stood and looked back toward jason 's crumpled bodyhe would need medical attention . jason 's mom gasped . i knelt down by her side and grasping the cord , drug the phone across the floor . i could hear the dial tone so i pressed 911 . chapter 18 jason a dull pain slowly began to build throughout my body , most noticeable in my back . i could perceive a faint glow beyond my eyelids , but i had no desire to open my eyes . each shallow breath brought more pain . i could hear a beeping noisesteady , like a pulse . beyond that , muffled footsteps and voices i could n't comprehend . two pair of footsteps approached from the muddle of distant sound . hard soled shoes , not bootsleathermaybe cops , i surmised . `` looks like he 's still out , '' one of them said . another set of footstepssofterapproached . `` you the kid 's doctor ? '' `` i am doctor chaudhry . what can i do for you officers ? '' `` i 'm , uh , officer burns , this here 's my partner officer grotzky . we were hoping to get a statement , but it looks like the kid 's still out . '' he lost quite a bit of bloodit may take awhile . '' the doctor sounded annoyed . `` what about his old lady ? '' `` his mother , '' the doctor enunciated the word , `` is in the icu . i do n't think she 'll be making a statement anytime soon . ''	[["jason", 5], ["force", 12], ["forced", 12], ["tongue", 23], ["tonguing", 23], ["mouth", 37], ["mouthed", 37], ["exhale", 49], ["exhaled", 49], ["sigh", 70], ["sighest", 70], ["break", 80], ["broke", 80], ["may", 107], ["mays", 107], ["mayest", 107], ["might", 107], ["kill", 112], ["instant", 132], ["churn", 147], ["churns", 147], ["churning", 147], ["fire", 152], ["deep", 157], ["deeply", 157], ["inside", 164], ["surge", 176], ["surging", 176], ["ability", 196], ["control", 207], ["fade", 217], ["fading", 217], ["passion", 232], ["moment", 246], ["hand", 263], ["hands", 263], ["slip", 271], ["slipped", 271], ["top", 284], ["clench", 300], ["clenched", 300], ["side", 309], ["sidest", 309], ["sides", 309], ["slid", 319], ["sliding", 319], ["back", 340], ["futile", 358], ["attempt", 366], ["pull", 374], ["away", 379], ["move", 394], ["moved", 394], ["press", 414], ["pressed", 414], ["head", 422], ["shoulder", 443], ["shouldered", 443], ["warn", 468], ["warned", 468], ["realize", 480], ["realizing", 480], ["talk", 524], ["talked", 524], ["never", 555], ["happen", 562], ["slid", 579], ["grasp", 607], ["grasped", 607], ["grasping", 607], ["shoulder", 620], ["shouldered", 620], ["shoulders", 620], ["abdomen", 645], ["mine", 658], ["protest", 683], ["protestest", 683], ["protested", 683], ["pull", 696], ["pulled", 696], ["tight", 708], ["grip", 730], ["gripping", 730], ["muscular", 743], ["bury", 760], ["burying", 760], ["buried", 760], ["nape", 784], ["neck", 795], ["necked", 795], ["pant", 805], ["panting", 805], ["furiously", 815], ["shoot", 832], ["shooted", 832], ["shot", 832], ["beyond", 854], ["strung", 865], ["string", 865], ["strings", 865], ["tie", 869], ["tying", 869], ["tieing", 869], ["short", 882], ["shorts", 882], ["cheek", 904], ["cheeks", 904], ["grimace", 918], ["grimacing", 918], ["grimaced", 918], ["tooth", 930], ["teeth", 930], ["scrape", 939], ["scraping", 939], ["smell", 974], ["smelt", 974], ["smellest", 974], ["smelled", 974], ["blood", 985], ["bloods", 985], ["blooded", 985], ["even", 1022], ["evens", 1022], ["hold", 1041], ["held", 1041], ["hand", 1053], ["front", 1066], ["face", 1077], ["see", 1097], ["saw", 1097], ["trickle", 1131], ["trickling", 1131], ["fingertip", 1155], ["fingertips", 1155], ["razor", 1166], ["razoring", 1166], ["sharp", 1174], ["sharps", 1174], ["fingernail", 1186], ["fingernails", 1186], ["pierce", 1198], ["pierced", 1198], ["skin", 1207], ["jerk", 1218], ["jerks", 1218], ["jerked", 1218], ["try", 1256], ["tryed", 1256], ["tried", 1256], ["stop", 1279], ["slowly", 1299], ["rise", 1306], ["risen", 1306], ["rising", 1306], ["tiny", 1327], ["streak", 1334], ["streaks", 1334], ["streaked", 1334], ["wind", 1349], ["wound", 1349], ["wounding", 1349], ["way", 1357], ["ways", 1357], ["crease", 1377], ["creases", 1377], ["around", 1384], ["knuckle", 1396], ["knuckles", 1396], ["knuckling", 1396], ["struggle", 1412], ["old", 1419], ["kind", 1430], ["fight", 1441], ["fightest", 1441], ["fought", 1441], ["resist", 1451], ["resistest", 1451], ["touch", 1494], ["touching", 1494], ["touched", 1494], ["lip", 1502], ["lipped", 1502], ["lips", 1502], ["splendor", 1518], ["description", 1537], ["hesitate", 1551], ["hesitated", 1551], ["let", 1561], ["lets", 1561], ["letting", 1561], ["ecstasy", 1573], ["spread", 1580], ["though", 1587], ["body", 1595], ["bodied", 1595], ["pant", 1636], ["panted", 1636], ["hip", 1656], ["hips", 1656], ["toward", 1663], ["shake", 1677], ["shook", 1677], ["try", 1694], ["tryed", 1694], ["trying", 1694], ["desperately", 1706], ["break", 1715], ["broke", 1715], ["trance", 1726], ["muster", 1738], ["musters", 1738], ["musterest", 1738], ["mustering", 1738], ["resolve", 1754], ["fluid", 1775], ["motion", 1782], ["bring", 1794], ["brought", 1794], ["chest", 1816], ["push", 1827], ["pushed", 1827], ["go", 1840], ["goest", 1840], ["went", 1840], ["fly", 1847], ["flys", 1847], ["flying", 1847], ["sofa", 1873], ["flip", 1886], ["flipping", 1886], ["flipped", 1886], ["impact", 1907], ["send", 1915], ["sending", 1915], ["sprawl", 1929], ["sprawls", 1929], ["sprawling", 1929], ["across", 1936], ["floor", 1946], ["wall", 1960], ["hop", 1993], ["hops", 1993], ["hopped", 1993], ["hopping", 1993], ["rush", 2007], ["rushed", 2007], ["stood", 2034], ["stand", 2034], ["standest", 2034], ["standing", 2034], ["tremble", 2052], ["trembles", 2052], ["hypnotize", 2065], ["hypnotized", 2065], ["hypnotizes", 2065], ["hypnotizing", 2065], ["run", 2086], ["running", 2086], ["finger", 2102], ["fingers", 2102], ["put", 2114], ["foot", 2123], ["hit", 2165], ["upright", 2177], ["bottom", 2184], ["bottoming", 2184], ["midstride", 2197], ["rock", 2215], ["rocked", 2215], ["forward", 2223], ["forwardest", 2223], ["forwarding", 2223], ["launch", 2233], ["launching", 2233], ["without", 2257], ["reflex", 2284], ["reflexes", 2284], ["catch", 2298], ["catches", 2298], ["catched", 2298], ["caught", 2298], ["mid", 2309], ["air", 2313], ["airs", 2313], ["airing", 2313], ["throw", 2323], ["threw", 2323], ["simultaneously", 2361], ["shatter", 2384], ["shattering", 2384], ["glass", 2390], ["rush", 2408], ["rushing", 2408], ["lung", 2430], ["lungs", 2430], ["curdle", 2467], ["curdling", 2467], ["scream", 2474], ["screams", 2474], ["kitchen", 2491], ["kitchens", 2491], ["room", 2503], ["roomed", 2503], ["suddenly", 2512], ["black", 2523], ["look", 2534], ["looked", 2534], ["silhouette", 2576], ["silhouetted", 2576], ["silhouetting", 2576], ["woman", 2587], ["womans", 2587], ["froze", 2597], ["frozen", 2597], ["freeze", 2597], ["freezing", 2597], ["still", 2605], ["regain", 2622], ["bliss", 2646], ["radiate", 2660], ["radiates", 2660], ["radiated", 2660], ["within", 2667], ["thirst", 2709], ["rage", 2718], ["intense", 2741], ["scent", 2747], ["scentest", 2747], ["cross", 2764], ["crossing", 2764], ["crossed", 2764], ["nostril", 2776], ["nostrils", 2776], ["inhale", 2790], ["inhaled", 2790], ["deeply", 2797], ["instinct", 2808], ["draw", 2813], ["draws", 2813], ["drawn", 2813], ["drew", 2813], ["lean", 2857], ["leans", 2857], ["leaned", 2857], ["crumble", 2875], ["crumbles", 2875], ["crumbled", 2875], ["lay", 2886], ["lie", 2886], ["lain", 2886], ["lying", 2886], ["amid", 2891], ["piece", 2902], ["pieced", 2902], ["pieces", 2902], ["shatter", 2919], ["shattered", 2919], ["big", 2923], ["bigs", 2923], ["screen", 2930], ["screening", 2930], ["lit", 2943], ["light", 2943], ["lights", 2943], ["come", 2957], ["came", 2957], ["follow", 2969], ["followed", 2969], ["immediately", 2981], ["another", 2992], ["mother", 3038], ["mothered", 3038], ["motherest", 3038], ["gasp", 3045], ["gasps", 3045], ["gasped", 3045], ["stagger", 3061], ["staggerest", 3061], ["staggered", 3061], ["grasp", 3072], ["grasped", 3072], ["grasping", 3072], ["collapse", 3103], ["collapsed", 3103], ["gently", 3156], ["lay", 3161], ["lays", 3161], ["layed", 3161], ["layest", 3161], ["laid", 3161], ["stood", 3180], ["stand", 3180], ["standest", 3180], ["crumple", 3221], ["crumpled", 3221], ["need", 3239], ["needest", 3239], ["medical", 3247], ["attention", 3257], ["mom", 3272], ["moms", 3272], ["knelt", 3289], ["side", 3306], ["sidest", 3306], ["cord", 3328], ["drug", 3335], ["phone", 3345], ["hear", 3377], ["hears", 3377], ["dial", 3386], ["tone", 3391], ["toned", 3391], ["toning", 3391], ["chapter", 3418], ["dull", 3434], ["pain", 3439], ["begin", 3452], ["began", 3452], ["build", 3461], ["builds", 3461], ["throughout", 3472], ["noticeable", 3498], ["perceive", 3528], ["perceiving", 3528], ["faint", 3536], ["glow", 3541], ["glowest", 3541], ["eyelid", 3559], ["eyelids", 3559], ["desire", 3581], ["open", 3589], ["eye", 3597], ["eyed", 3597], ["eyes", 3597], ["shallow", 3612], ["breath", 3619], ["breathest", 3619], ["beep", 3662], ["beeps", 3662], ["beeping", 3662], ["like", 3681], ["pulse", 3689], ["muffle", 3713], ["muffles", 3713], ["muffled", 3713], ["footstep", 3723], ["footsteps", 3723], ["voice", 3734], ["voices", 3734], ["comprehend", 3757], ["two", 3763], ["twos", 3763], ["pair", 3768], ["pairs", 3768], ["approach", 3792], ["approaches", 3792], ["approached", 3792], ["muddle", 3808], ["muddles", 3808], ["distant", 3819], ["sound", 3825], ["hard", 3832], ["shoe", 3844], ["shoed", 3844], ["shoes", 3844], ["cop", 3873], ["copest", 3873], ["copped", 3873], ["cops", 3873], ["surmise", 3886], ["surmised", 3886], ["look", 3897], ["looks", 3897], ["say", 3940], ["sayest", 3940], ["said", 3940], ["set", 3954], ["kid", 4000], ["doctor", 4010], ["doctoring", 4010], ["doctorest", 4010], ["officer", 4072], ["officering", 4072], ["officers", 4072], ["uh", 4090], ["officer", 4100], ["officering", 4100], ["burn", 4106], ["burns", 4106], ["partner", 4132], ["hoping", 4165], ["get", 4172], ["statement", 4184], ["lose", 4238], ["lost", 4238], ["quite", 4244], ["bit", 4250], ["bits", 4250], ["may", 4265], ["mays", 4265], ["mayest", 4265], ["take", 4270], ["awhile", 4277], ["sound", 4301], ["sounded", 4301], ["lady", 4338], ["enunciate", 4384], ["enunciated", 4384], ["word", 4393], ["icu", 4412], ["think", 4429], ["thinkest", 4429], ["anytime", 4467], ["soon", 4472]]
`` i may be in a hurry , fraser , but we have still sufficient time to observe the civilities . go and kiss your wife goodbye , man . turning on his heel , he made a leg to me , bowing deeply , so that the tail of his wig flopped forward . i knew enough about armies to realize that nothing apparent was likely to happen for some time , and sure enough , it did n't . random parties of men marched up and down the single main street of tranent . wives , camp followers , and the displaced citizens of tranent milled aimlessly , uncertain whether to stay or go . messengers darted sideways through the crowd , carrying notes . i had met lord george before , in paris . he was not a man to stand on ceremony when action would better suit , though i thought it likely that the fraying of his temper at prince charles 's actions , and a desire to escape the company of o'sullivan , were more responsible for his coming in person to meet jamie than any desire either for expeditiousness or confidentiality . when the total strength of the highland army stood somewhere between fifteen hundred and two thousand , thirty men were neither to be regarded as a gift from the gods , nor sneered at altogether . i glanced at fergus , fidgeting to and fro like a hoptoad with st. vitus 's dance , and decided that i might as well send a few messages myself . there is a saying , `` in the kingdom of the blind , the one-eyed man is king . '' i promptly invented its analogy , based on experience : `` when no one knows what to do , anyone with a sensible suggestion is going to be listened to . '' there was paper and ink in the saddlebags . i sat down , watched with an almost superstitious awe by the goodwife , who had likely never seen a woman write anything before , and composed a note to jenny cameron . it was she who had led three hundred cameron clansmen across the mountains to join prince charles , when he had raised his banner at glenfinnan on the coast . her brother hugh , arriving home belatedly and hearing what had happened , had ridden posthaste to glenfinnan to take the chieftain 's place at the head of his men , but jenny had declined to go home and miss the fun . she had thoroughly enjoyed the brief stop in edinburgh , where charles received the plaudits of his loyal subjects , but she had been equally willing to accompany her prince on his way to battle . i had n't a signet , but jamie 's bonnet was in one of the bags , bearing a badge with the fraser clan crest and motto . i dug it out and pressed it into the splodge of warm candle wax with which i had sealed the note . `` for the scottish milady with the freckles , '' i instructed fergus , and with satisfaction saw him dart out the door and into the melee in the street . i had no idea where jenny cameron was at the moment , but the officers were quartered in the manse near the kirk , and that was as good a place to start as any . at least the search would keep fergus out of mischief . that errand out of the way , i turned to the cottage wife . `` now , then , '' i said . `` what have you got in the way of blankets , napkins , and petticoats ? '' i soon found that i had been correct in my surmise as to the force of jenny cameron 's personality . a woman who could raise three hundred men and lead them across the mountains to fight for an iian-accented fop with a taste for brandywine was bound to have both a low threshold of boredom and a rare talent for bullying people into doing what she wanted . `` verra sensible , '' she said , having heard my plan . `` cousin archie 's made some arrangements , i expect , but of course he 's wanting to be with the army just now . '' her firm chin stuck out a little farther . `` that 's where the fun is , after all , '' she said wryly . `` i 'm surprised you did n't insist on going along , '' i said . she laughed , her small , homely face with its undershot jaw making her look like a good-humored bulldog . `` i would if i could , but i ca n't , '' she admitted frankly . `` now that hugh 's come , he keeps trying to make me go home . told him i was '' -she glanced around to be sure we were n't overheard , and lowered her voice conspiratorially- '' damned if i 'd go home and sit . not while i can be of use here . '' standing on the cottage doorstep , she looked thoughtfully up and down the street . `` i did n't think they 'd listen to me , '' i said . `` being english . ''	[["may", 8], ["mays", 8], ["mayest", 8], ["hurry", 22], ["hurried", 22], ["hurryed", 22], ["hurrying", 22], ["fraser", 31], ["still", 51], ["sufficient", 62], ["time", 67], ["observe", 78], ["civility", 93], ["civilities", 93], ["go", 98], ["goest", 98], ["kiss", 107], ["kisses", 107], ["kissest", 107], ["wife", 117], ["goodbye", 125], ["goodbyes", 125], ["man", 131], ["mans", 131], ["manned", 131], ["turn", 141], ["turning", 141], ["heel", 153], ["heeled", 153], ["leg", 169], ["bow", 184], ["bowing", 184], ["deeply", 191], ["tail", 210], ["tailed", 210], ["wig", 221], ["wigs", 221], ["wigged", 221], ["flop", 229], ["flops", 229], ["flopping", 229], ["flopped", 229], ["forward", 237], ["forwardest", 237], ["forwarding", 237], ["know", 246], ["knowest", 246], ["knew", 246], ["enough", 253], ["army", 266], ["armies", 266], ["realize", 277], ["nothing", 290], ["apparent", 299], ["happen", 320], ["sure", 345], ["random", 374], ["party", 382], ["parties", 382], ["man", 389], ["mans", 389], ["manned", 389], ["men", 389], ["march", 397], ["marching", 397], ["marched", 397], ["single", 420], ["main", 425], ["street", 432], ["wife", 451], ["wives", 451], ["camp", 458], ["camped", 458], ["follower", 468], ["followers", 468], ["displace", 488], ["displacing", 488], ["displaced", 488], ["citizen", 497], ["citizens", 497], ["mill", 515], ["milling", 515], ["milled", 515], ["aimlessly", 525], ["uncertain", 537], ["whether", 545], ["stay", 553], ["messenger", 572], ["messengers", 572], ["dart", 579], ["darted", 579], ["sideways", 588], ["crowd", 606], ["crowdest", 606], ["crowding", 606], ["carry", 617], ["carrying", 617], ["note", 623], ["notes", 623], ["meet", 635], ["meeted", 635], ["met", 635], ["lord", 640], ["george", 647], ["paris", 665], ["stood", 693], ["stand", 693], ["standest", 693], ["ceremony", 705], ["action", 717], ["well", 730], ["wells", 730], ["suit", 735], ["suited", 735], ["though", 744], ["think", 754], ["thinkest", 754], ["thought", 754], ["temper", 795], ["prince", 805], ["action", 824], ["actions", 824], ["desire", 839], ["escape", 849], ["escapes", 849], ["company", 861], ["companys", 861], ["companying", 861], ["responsible", 899], ["come", 914], ["coming", 914], ["person", 924], ["meet", 932], ["meeted", 932], ["jamie", 938], ["either", 961], ["expeditiousness", 981], ["confidentiality", 1000], ["total", 1017], ["strength", 1026], ["highland", 1042], ["army", 1047], ["stood", 1053], ["stand", 1053], ["standest", 1053], ["somewhere", 1063], ["fifteen", 1079], ["hundred", 1087], ["two", 1095], ["twos", 1095], ["thousand", 1104], ["thirty", 1113], ["neither", 1130], ["regard", 1145], ["regarded", 1145], ["gift", 1155], ["god", 1169], ["gods", 1169], ["sneer", 1183], ["sneered", 1183], ["altogether", 1197], ["glance", 1209], ["glanced", 1209], ["fergus", 1219], ["fidget", 1231], ["fidgeting", 1231], ["fro", 1242], ["fros", 1242], ["like", 1247], ["st", 1265], ["sts", 1265], ["vitus", 1272], ["dance", 1281], ["decide", 1295], ["decided", 1295], ["may", 1308], ["mays", 1308], ["mayest", 1308], ["might", 1308], ["well", 1316], ["wells", 1316], ["send", 1321], ["message", 1336], ["messages", 1336], ["saying", 1363], ["kingdom", 1383], ["blind", 1396], ["blinded", 1396], ["king", 1423], ["promptly", 1439], ["invent", 1448], ["inventest", 1448], ["invented", 1448], ["analogy", 1460], ["base", 1468], ["basest", 1468], ["based", 1468], ["experience", 1482], ["experienced", 1482], ["know", 1505], ["knowest", 1505], ["knows", 1505], ["anyone", 1525], ["sensible", 1541], ["suggestion", 1552], ["go", 1561], ["goest", 1561], ["going", 1561], ["listen", 1576], ["listens", 1576], ["listened", 1576], ["paper", 1600], ["ink", 1608], ["saddlebag", 1626], ["saddlebags", 1626], ["sat", 1634], ["sit", 1634], ["watch", 1649], ["watched", 1649], ["almost", 1664], ["superstitious", 1678], ["awe", 1682], ["awed", 1682], ["goodwife", 1698], ["never", 1721], ["see", 1726], ["seen", 1726], ["woman", 1734], ["womans", 1734], ["write", 1740], ["writing", 1740], ["anything", 1749], ["compose", 1771], ["composed", 1771], ["note", 1778], ["jenny", 1787], ["cameron", 1795], ["lead", 1820], ["leaded", 1820], ["led", 1820], ["three", 1826], ["clansman", 1851], ["across", 1858], ["mountain", 1872], ["mountains", 1872], ["join", 1880], ["joinest", 1880], ["raise", 1916], ["raised", 1916], ["banner", 1927], ["coast", 1954], ["brother", 1968], ["brethren", 1968], ["hugh", 1973], ["arrive", 1984], ["arriving", 1984], ["home", 1989], ["homing", 1989], ["belatedly", 1999], ["hear", 2011], ["hears", 2011], ["hearing", 2011], ["happen", 2029], ["happened", 2029], ["posthaste", 2052], ["take", 2074], ["chieftain", 2088], ["place", 2097], ["head", 2109], ["decline", 2145], ["declined", 2145], ["miss", 2165], ["fun", 2173], ["thoroughly", 2194], ["enjoy", 2202], ["enjoyed", 2202], ["brief", 2212], ["briefing", 2212], ["stop", 2217], ["edinburgh", 2230], ["receive", 2255], ["received", 2255], ["plaudit", 2268], ["plaudits", 2268], ["loyal", 2281], ["subject", 2290], ["subjectest", 2290], ["subjects", 2290], ["equally", 2317], ["willing", 2325], ["accompany", 2338], ["way", 2360], ["ways", 2360], ["battle", 2370], ["signet", 2391], ["bonnet", 2413], ["bag", 2436], ["bagged", 2436], ["bagging", 2436], ["bags", 2436], ["bore", 2446], ["bear", 2446], ["bearest", 2446], ["bearing", 2446], ["badge", 2454], ["clan", 2475], ["clans", 2475], ["crest", 2481], ["motto", 2491], ["mottos", 2491], ["dug", 2499], ["dig", 2499], ["digs", 2499], ["digest", 2499], ["press", 2518], ["pressed", 2518], ["splodge", 2538], ["splodges", 2538], ["splodging", 2538], ["warm", 2546], ["candle", 2553], ["wax", 2557], ["waxed", 2557], ["seal", 2581], ["sealed", 2581], ["scottish", 2612], ["milady", 2619], ["freckle", 2637], ["freckles", 2637], ["instruct", 2655], ["instructest", 2655], ["instructed", 2655], ["satisfaction", 2686], ["see", 2690], ["saw", 2690], ["dart", 2699], ["darted", 2699], ["door", 2712], ["melee", 2731], ["melees", 2731], ["idea", 2761], ["moment", 2799], ["officer", 2818], ["officering", 2818], ["officers", 2818], ["quarter", 2833], ["quartering", 2833], ["quartered", 2833], ["near", 2851], ["kirk", 2860], ["good", 2883], ["start", 2900], ["least", 2918], ["leastest", 2918], ["search", 2929], ["keep", 2940], ["keepest", 2940], ["mischief", 2963], ["mischiefs", 2963], ["errand", 2977], ["turn", 3003], ["turned", 3003], ["cottage", 3018], ["say", 3051], ["sayest", 3051], ["said", 3051], ["get", 3074], ["got", 3074], ["blanket", 3097], ["blankets", 3097], ["napkin", 3107], ["napkins", 3107], ["petticoat", 3124], ["petticoats", 3124], ["soon", 3136], ["find", 3142], ["found", 3142], ["correct", 3166], ["surmise", 3180], ["force", 3196], ["personality", 3228], ["raise", 3254], ["lead", 3281], ["leaded", 3281], ["fight", 3316], ["fightest", 3316], ["accent", 3337], ["accenting", 3337], ["accented", 3337], ["fop", 3341], ["fops", 3341], ["taste", 3354], ["brandywine", 3369], ["bind", 3379], ["bound", 3379], ["low", 3398], ["lowed", 3398], ["threshold", 3408], ["thresholds", 3408], ["boredom", 3419], ["rare", 3430], ["talent", 3437], ["bully", 3450], ["bullying", 3450], ["people", 3457], ["hear", 3533], ["hears", 3533], ["heard", 3533], ["plan", 3541], ["cousin", 3553], ["archie", 3560], ["arrangement", 3586], ["arrangements", 3586], ["expect", 3597], ["course", 3613], ["firm", 3670], ["chin", 3675], ["stick", 3681], ["stickest", 3681], ["stuck", 3681], ["little", 3694], ["far", 3702], ["wryly", 3764], ["surprise", 3784], ["surprised", 3784], ["insist", 3803], ["insistest", 3803], ["along", 3818], ["laugh", 3844], ["laughed", 3844], ["small", 3856], ["homely", 3865], ["face", 3870], ["undershot", 3889], ["jaw", 3893], ["jaws", 3893], ["jawed", 3893], ["jawest", 3893], ["look", 3909], ["bulldog", 3937], ["bulldogs", 3937], ["ca", 3972], ["cas", 3972], ["admit", 3994], ["admitted", 3994], ["frankly", 4002], ["come", 4029], ["keep", 4040], ["keepest", 4040], ["keeps", 4040], ["try", 4047], ["tryed", 4047], ["trying", 4047], ["tell", 4073], ["told", 4073], ["around", 4106], ["overhear", 4139], ["overhearing", 4139], ["lowers", 4153], ["lowerest", 4153], ["lowered", 4153], ["voice", 4163], ["damn", 4191], ["damned", 4191], ["sat", 4215], ["sit", 4215], ["use", 4243], ["stood", 4262], ["stand", 4262], ["standest", 4262], ["standing", 4262], ["doorstep", 4286], ["doorsteps", 4286], ["look", 4299], ["looked", 4299], ["thoughtfully", 4312], ["think", 4356], ["thinkest", 4356], ["listen", 4371], ["listens", 4371], ["english", 4408], ["englishest", 4408]]
`` it 's the most helpless feeling in the world not to be able to fight back . '' `` you 're not helpless anymore , grace . she squeezed his hand , curling her fingers tightly around his . `` they took something from me , rio . something i may never get back . i hate them for it . '' he scooted even closer , pulling her hand until it rested on the top of his thigh . her face creased in anguish . they took my link to her . i never realized how much i depended on it and her until it was gone . i hate the silence . i feel so ... alone . '' rio carefully pulled her into his arms and laid her cheek against his chest . i have some exercises for the mind that may help . you 've been through hell , grace . you ca n't expect to come out unscathed . you have to heal . not just physically but mentally as well . especially mentally . your body will take care of itself , but your mind has been deeply bruised by all you 've endured . it 's likely shut down to protect you . it 's in survival mode just as you are . '' `` you make me feel hope , '' she whispered against his chest . `` i 've been without hope for so long , butr s with you , i can remember what it feels like to believe and have faith . '' he held her for a moment longer and then finally pulled away . `` we 've talked enough for one night , i think . i 'm sure you 'll have more questions when you 're not falling-down tired . you need to rest and completely heal . we can continue this conversation tomorrow . '' she nodded and he tucked her back underneath the covers . then he went to the closet , pulled out several blankets and some extra pillows . after arranging a comfortable spot on the floor , he turned back to her . `` ready for lights out ? '' already she 'd snuggled into the pillows and was lying on her side facing his direction . like she 'd been through hell . and yet he 'd never seen a woman who looked more beautiful to him . maybe it was because he 'd seen the heart of her . her spirit and resilience . grace had made a huge impact on his life in the very short time he 'd known her , and he knew he 'd never forget her . he reached for the light switch and doused the room in darkness . then he crawled beneath the covers he 'd arranged and closed his eyes . his muscles screamed their protest , and fatigue beat relentlessly in his head . he had almost drifted off when he heard her soft whisper . he opened his eyes and half turned in her direction so he could hear her . it was said so softly he almost did n't hear her . `` would you ... '' she trailed off like she was having difficulty asking what it was she wanted . `` would you sleep with me ? on the bed , i mean ? i feel ... safer ... when you 're near . '' his chest did funny things . his heart turned over at the fear and hesitancy in her voice . hell , he 'd move a damn mountain for her . he pushed himself upward and then flipped on the lamp . she blinked and then peered anxiously up at him . then he pulled the covers back and crawled into the bed . he reached back to turn off the light . once again darkness settled over the room , and he turned back so they were facing each other , though he could barely make out her features . they lay there silently , so still he could n't hear her breathe . she was stiff and completely immobile , but he could tell she had n't relaxed or gone to sleep . he lifted his arm and she immediately snuggled into his embrace . her body was a warm shock to his , flush against his chest , her legs touching his . he remained still , waiting to see if she 'd react or if she seemed uncomfortable with his proximity , but to his surprise , she burrowed farther into his embrace , emitted a sweet-sounding sigh and then settled limply against him . she nodded against him , her head bobbing just underneath his chin . for several long moments , he lay there , unsure of what to do next . finally he lowered his arm , curling it around her midsection and anchor ing her to him . she 'd already fallen asleep . he relaxed , letting his head and hers sink farther into the pillows . she felt small and slight next to him , and he was further reminded of just how fragile she was and yet how much inner strength she possessed . he turned his mouth nedy immodown until his lips brushed over her hair . `` good night , grace , '' he whispered . chapter 15 grace awoke with a throbbing headache . her brow wrinkled at the effort it took to open her eyes . she lay there a moment as she evaluated her body and her injuries . then she lifted her arm , examining the place where the bone had broken . she flexed and extended her fingers , but other than a little stiffness , all seemed well .	[["helpless", 26], ["feeling", 34], ["world", 47], ["able", 62], ["abled", 62], ["fight", 71], ["fightest", 71], ["back", 76], ["anymore", 113], ["grace", 121], ["squeeze", 136], ["squeezes", 136], ["squeezed", 136], ["hand", 145], ["curl", 155], ["curls", 155], ["curled", 155], ["curling", 155], ["finger", 167], ["fingers", 167], ["tightly", 175], ["around", 182], ["take", 201], ["took", 201], ["rio", 225], ["may", 243], ["mays", 243], ["mayest", 243], ["never", 249], ["get", 253], ["hate", 267], ["hateed", 267], ["scoot", 295], ["even", 300], ["evens", 300], ["close", 307], ["closer", 307], ["pull", 317], ["pulling", 317], ["rest", 342], ["rested", 342], ["top", 353], ["thigh", 366], ["thighs", 366], ["face", 377], ["crease", 385], ["creased", 385], ["anguish", 396], ["anguishes", 396], ["link", 416], ["realize", 442], ["realized", 442], ["much", 451], ["depend", 462], ["depended", 462], ["go", 494], ["goest", 494], ["gone", 494], ["silence", 515], ["feel", 524], ["alone", 537], ["carefully", 556], ["pull", 563], ["pulled", 563], ["arm", 581], ["arms", 581], ["lay", 590], ["lays", 590], ["layed", 590], ["layest", 590], ["laid", 590], ["cheek", 600], ["cheeks", 600], ["chest", 618], ["exercise", 642], ["exercises", 642], ["mind", 655], ["minding", 655], ["help", 669], ["helpest", 669], ["hell", 697], ["hells", 697], ["ca", 714], ["cas", 714], ["expect", 725], ["come", 733], ["unscathed", 747], ["heal", 766], ["healest", 766], ["physically", 788], ["mentally", 801], ["well", 809], ["wells", 809], ["especially", 822], ["body", 843], ["bodied", 843], ["take", 853], ["care", 858], ["deeply", 900], ["bruise", 908], ["bruised", 908], ["endure", 931], ["endured", 931], ["shut", 951], ["protect", 967], ["protectest", 967], ["survival", 991], ["mode", 996], ["moded", 996], ["hope", 1042], ["whisper", 1061], ["whispered", 1061], ["without", 1103], ["long", 1120], ["longs", 1120], ["remember", 1155], ["rememberest", 1155], ["feel", 1169], ["feels", 1169], ["like", 1174], ["believe", 1185], ["faith", 1200], ["faiths", 1200], ["hold", 1213], ["held", 1213], ["moment", 1230], ["long", 1237], ["longs", 1237], ["finally", 1254], ["away", 1266], ["talk", 1285], ["talked", 1285], ["enough", 1292], ["night", 1306], ["think", 1316], ["thinkest", 1316], ["sure", 1328], ["question", 1356], ["questions", 1356], ["fall", 1381], ["falls", 1381], ["falling", 1381], ["tired", 1392], ["need", 1403], ["needest", 1403], ["rest", 1411], ["completely", 1426], ["continue", 1449], ["conversation", 1467], ["tomorrow", 1476], ["tomorrows", 1476], ["nod", 1492], ["nodded", 1492], ["tuck", 1506], ["tucked", 1506], ["tucking", 1506], ["underneath", 1526], ["cover", 1537], ["covers", 1537], ["go", 1552], ["goest", 1552], ["went", 1552], ["closet", 1566], ["closets", 1566], ["several", 1587], ["blanket", 1596], ["blankets", 1596], ["extra", 1611], ["extras", 1611], ["pillow", 1619], ["pillows", 1619], ["arrange", 1637], ["arranging", 1637], ["comfortable", 1651], ["spot", 1656], ["floor", 1669], ["turn", 1681], ["turned", 1681], ["ready", 1704], ["lit", 1715], ["light", 1715], ["lights", 1715], ["already", 1732], ["snuggle", 1748], ["snuggled", 1748], ["lay", 1779], ["lie", 1779], ["lain", 1779], ["lying", 1779], ["side", 1791], ["sidest", 1791], ["face", 1798], ["facing", 1798], ["direction", 1812], ["yet", 1854], ["see", 1871], ["seen", 1871], ["woman", 1879], ["womans", 1879], ["look", 1890], ["looked", 1890], ["beautiful", 1905], ["beautifulest", 1905], ["maybe", 1920], ["heart", 1956], ["spirit", 1976], ["spirited", 1976], ["resilience", 1991], ["huge", 2015], ["impact", 2022], ["life", 2034], ["lifes", 2034], ["short", 2052], ["time", 2057], ["know", 2069], ["knowest", 2069], ["known", 2069], ["know", 2087], ["knowest", 2087], ["knew", 2087], ["forget", 2106], ["forgot", 2106], ["reach", 2123], ["reached", 2123], ["lit", 2137], ["light", 2137], ["switch", 2144], ["switching", 2144], ["douse", 2155], ["room", 2164], ["roomed", 2164], ["darkness", 2176], ["crawl", 2194], ["crawled", 2194], ["beneath", 2202], ["arrange", 2228], ["arranging", 2228], ["arranged", 2228], ["close", 2239], ["closed", 2239], ["eye", 2248], ["eyed", 2248], ["eyes", 2248], ["muscle", 2262], ["muscles", 2262], ["scream", 2271], ["screams", 2271], ["screamed", 2271], ["protest", 2285], ["protestest", 2285], ["fatigue", 2299], ["fatiguing", 2299], ["beat", 2304], ["relentlessly", 2317], ["head", 2329], ["almost", 2345], ["drift", 2353], ["drifting", 2353], ["drifted", 2353], ["hear", 2371], ["hears", 2371], ["heard", 2371], ["soft", 2380], ["whisper", 2388], ["open", 2400], ["opened", 2400], ["half", 2418], ["hear", 2459], ["hears", 2459], ["say", 2477], ["sayest", 2477], ["said", 2477], ["softly", 2487], ["trail", 2548], ["trailed", 2548], ["difficulty", 2583], ["ask", 2590], ["asking", 2590], ["slept", 2634], ["sleep", 2634], ["sleeps", 2634], ["sleepest", 2634], ["bed", 2655], ["mean", 2664], ["meanest", 2664], ["safe", 2683], ["safes", 2683], ["safed", 2683], ["safer", 2683], ["near", 2705], ["funny", 2730], ["thing", 2737], ["things", 2737], ["fear", 2773], ["fearest", 2773], ["hesitancy", 2787], ["voice", 2800], ["move", 2820], ["damn", 2827], ["damned", 2827], ["mountain", 2836], ["push", 2856], ["pushed", 2856], ["upward", 2871], ["flip", 2888], ["flipping", 2888], ["flipped", 2888], ["lamp", 2900], ["blink", 2914], ["blinked", 2914], ["peer", 2930], ["peered", 2930], ["anxiously", 2940], ["turn", 3034], ["settle", 3078], ["settled", 3078], ["though", 3153], ["barely", 3169], ["feature", 3191], ["features", 3191], ["lay", 3202], ["lie", 3202], ["lain", 3202], ["silently", 3217], ["still", 3228], ["breathe", 3258], ["breathes", 3258], ["stiff", 3274], ["immobile", 3298], ["tell", 3318], ["relax", 3338], ["relaxed", 3338], ["lift", 3367], ["lifted", 3367], ["arm", 3375], ["immediately", 3395], ["embrace", 3421], ["warm", 3443], ["shock", 3449], ["flush", 3464], ["leg", 3493], ["legs", 3493], ["touch", 3502], ["touching", 3502], ["remain", 3520], ["remained", 3520], ["wait", 3536], ["waitest", 3536], ["waiting", 3536], ["see", 3543], ["react", 3559], ["seem", 3576], ["seeming", 3576], ["seemed", 3576], ["uncomfortable", 3590], ["proximity", 3609], ["surprise", 3631], ["surprised", 3631], ["burrow", 3646], ["burrowing", 3646], ["burrowed", 3646], ["far", 3654], ["farther", 3654], ["emit", 3681], ["emitted", 3681], ["sweet", 3689], ["sound", 3698], ["sounding", 3698], ["sigh", 3703], ["sighest", 3703], ["limply", 3727], ["bob", 3783], ["bobs", 3783], ["bobbing", 3783], ["chin", 3808], ["moment", 3835], ["moments", 3835], ["unsure", 3859], ["unsured", 3859], ["next", 3878], ["lower", 3899], ["lowers", 3899], ["lowerest", 3899], ["lowered", 3899], ["midsection", 3942], ["anchor", 3953], ["anchoring", 3953], ["e", 3957], ["ing", 3957], ["eest", 3957], ["fall", 3992], ["falls", 3992], ["fallen", 3992], ["asleep", 3999], ["let", 4022], ["lets", 4022], ["letting", 4022], ["sink", 4045], ["sank", 4045], ["feel", 4081], ["felt", 4081], ["small", 4087], ["slight", 4098], ["remind", 4140], ["reminded", 4140], ["fragile", 4160], ["inner", 4191], ["strength", 4200], ["possess", 4214], ["possesses", 4214], ["possessed", 4214], ["mouth", 4236], ["mouthed", 4236], ["lip", 4265], ["lipped", 4265], ["lips", 4265], ["brush", 4273], ["brushest", 4273], ["brushed", 4273], ["hair", 4287], ["good", 4297], ["chapter", 4339], ["awoke", 4354], ["awake", 4354], ["headache", 4380], ["brow", 4391], ["wrinkle", 4400], ["wrinkled", 4400], ["effort", 4414], ["open", 4430], ["evaluate", 4481], ["evaluated", 4481], ["injury", 4507], ["injuries", 4507], ["examine", 4545], ["examining", 4545], ["place", 4555], ["bone", 4570], ["bonest", 4570], ["break", 4581], ["broke", 4581], ["broken", 4581], ["flex", 4594], ["flexes", 4594], ["extend", 4607], ["extended", 4607], ["little", 4645], ["stiffness", 4655]]
jack had visited him that morning on the extended-care ward and had assured him his dogs were all right . the ward gave him the creeps . old men with dull eyes and nicotine-stained fingers grasping at the bedclothes . the pink and yellow cotton blankets , washed too many times . the smell of disinfectant and the squeak of rubber-soled shoes on granite floors . he wanted to get his uncle out of there , but he had nowhere to take him . not until he got himself fixed up at the farm . when he 'd first seen his uncle after coming out of the bush , jack knew he 'd made the right decision to trade in his pickax for a pair of overalls . in fact , he was looking forward to it . farming was a crapshoot , the way finding something worthwhile in the rocks had always been . prospecting was a fool 's game , and so was farming . jack knew he was up to the challenge . only , if he was settling down for good , he needed a wife . he wanted to do things properly . he 'd thought it over and decided that the women he 'd been involved with over the past few years were highly unsuitable . he 'd always had a soft spot for the flashy babes , the party gals , the glamour chicks-when he had the money . not one of them was the type he 'd phone up to hold his hand when he had the flu . if he was settling down and turning into a farmer , he needed a proper farmer 's wife . someone who knew how to care for kids and collect eggs , someone who knew how to put a decent meal on the table for a harvest crew , someone who could sew and bake and read stories to their children , when they came along . help them with their homework when they were a little older . jack wanted children , and to get children , he needed a wife . heck , he wanted a wife . `` a glory girl , huh ? '' saul said , wiping away the traces of foam on jack 's face . `` that 's right , saul . just like sadie . '' saul snorted . good luck , pal . they do n't make 'em like my sadie anymore . '' jack grinned , eyes still closed . yes , a no-nonsense small-town girl was the girl for him . a glory girl . chapter two hmm . how much soy flour could you put in oatmeal-raisin cookies without totally destroying the taste ? after all , cookies were n't really meant to be nutritious . hannah put down the pumpkin she was mutilating in the name of halloween and pulled the last pan of cookies from the oven , then transferred them to a wire rack . she took a sample from an earlier pan and thoughtfully broke it in two to inspect the middle . she chewed a piece and swallowed . with the double cinnamon and extra dollop of brown sugar she 'd added , if she did n't know she 'd substituted soy flour for a third of the regular flour , she would n't be able to tell . and seth wilbee certainly was n't going to notice . she took up her paring knife again and adjusted the pumpkin 's eye . nutrition was important . hannah frequently brought baked items to seth wilbee , the town tramp-to put it kindly-who lived on the other side of the big culvert , near the bridge over the horsethief river . hannah was sure he did n't eat properly , had probably never heard of canada 's food rules . she had no idea what he ate , really , although she 'd seen him fishing in the river and knew he had a small vegetable patch behind his shack . hannah passed his culvert every day as she walked to work at the library and had taken to stuffing nutritious goodies in his mailbox as she passed . she did n't know what the big galvanized mailbox was all about-she was pretty sure seth wilbee did n't get any mail-but she put her offerings in it , anyway , raising the red flag to let seth know he 'd received something . she was planning to take him this jack-o'-lantern as a gift when she 'd finished it . she 'd helped ella searle with her first-grade class field trip out to sanchez 's pumpkin farm yesterday and had come home with two for herself , one of which already sat in her living-room window grinning at passersby on the street below . she 'd met seth wilbee several times since she 'd started giving him baked goods and he was always gracious , if usually rather vague . he 'd told her early on that he did n't care for nuts , so if it was no trouble to her , he 'd appreciate it if she 'd leave out the nuts . and once , he 'd invited her to tea in his shack , which had been quite an experience . that was when she 'd seen his garden patch .	[["jack", 4], ["jacks", 4], ["jacked", 4], ["visit", 16], ["visited", 16], ["morning", 33], ["care", 54], ["ward", 59], ["wards", 59], ["assure", 75], ["assured", 75], ["dog", 88], ["dogs", 88], ["right", 103], ["rightest", 103], ["give", 119], ["gave", 119], ["creep", 134], ["creeps", 134], ["creeped", 134], ["old", 140], ["man", 144], ["mans", 144], ["manned", 144], ["men", 144], ["dull", 154], ["eye", 159], ["eyed", 159], ["eyes", 159], ["nicotine", 172], ["stain", 180], ["stainest", 180], ["stained", 180], ["finger", 188], ["fingers", 188], ["grasp", 197], ["grasped", 197], ["grasping", 197], ["pink", 226], ["yellow", 237], ["cotton", 244], ["blanket", 253], ["blankets", 253], ["wash", 262], ["washed", 262], ["many", 271], ["time", 277], ["times", 277], ["smell", 289], ["smelt", 289], ["smellest", 289], ["disinfectant", 305], ["squeak", 320], ["squeaks", 320], ["rubber", 330], ["sole", 336], ["soled", 336], ["shoe", 342], ["shoed", 342], ["shoes", 342], ["granite", 353], ["floor", 360], ["floors", 360], ["get", 379], ["uncle", 389], ["nowhere", 423], ["take", 431], ["get", 454], ["got", 454], ["fix", 468], ["fixes", 468], ["fixed", 468], ["farm", 483], ["farming", 483], ["first", 502], ["firstest", 502], ["see", 507], ["seen", 507], ["come", 530], ["coming", 530], ["bush", 546], ["bushed", 546], ["know", 558], ["knowest", 558], ["knew", 558], ["decision", 588], ["trade", 597], ["pickax", 611], ["pair", 622], ["pairs", 622], ["overall", 634], ["overalls", 634], ["fact", 644], ["look", 661], ["looking", 661], ["forward", 669], ["forwardest", 669], ["forwarding", 669], ["crapshoot", 701], ["way", 711], ["ways", 711], ["find", 719], ["finding", 719], ["worthwhile", 740], ["rock", 753], ["rocks", 753], ["always", 764], ["prospect", 783], ["prospecting", 783], ["fool", 794], ["foolest", 794], ["fooling", 794], ["game", 802], ["farm", 823], ["farming", 823], ["challenge", 862], ["settle", 890], ["settling", 890], ["good", 904], ["need", 916], ["needest", 916], ["needed", 916], ["wife", 923], ["thing", 948], ["things", 948], ["properly", 957], ["think", 973], ["thinkest", 973], ["thought", 973], ["decide", 993], ["decided", 993], ["woman", 1008], ["womans", 1008], ["women", 1008], ["involve", 1028], ["involved", 1028], ["past", 1047], ["year", 1057], ["years", 1057], ["highly", 1069], ["unsuitable", 1080], ["soft", 1106], ["spot", 1111], ["flashy", 1126], ["babe", 1132], ["babes", 1132], ["party", 1144], ["gal", 1149], ["gals", 1149], ["glamour", 1163], ["chick", 1170], ["chicks", 1170], ["money", 1192], ["moneys", 1192], ["type", 1223], ["phone", 1235], ["hold", 1246], ["hand", 1255], ["flu", 1275], ["turn", 1313], ["turning", 1313], ["proper", 1348], ["kid", 1403], ["kids", 1403], ["collect", 1415], ["egg", 1420], ["egging", 1420], ["eggs", 1420], ["put", 1450], ["decent", 1459], ["meal", 1464], ["table", 1477], ["tabled", 1477], ["tabling", 1477], ["harvest", 1491], ["harvestest", 1491], ["crew", 1496], ["sew", 1520], ["sews", 1520], ["sewn", 1520], ["bake", 1529], ["baked", 1529], ["bakes", 1529], ["baking", 1529], ["read", 1538], ["reads", 1538], ["story", 1546], ["stories", 1546], ["child", 1564], ["childs", 1564], ["children", 1564], ["come", 1581], ["came", 1581], ["along", 1587], ["help", 1594], ["helpest", 1594], ["homework", 1619], ["little", 1643], ["old", 1649], ["heck", 1720], ["glory", 1752], ["gloried", 1752], ["girl", 1757], ["huh", 1763], ["saul", 1773], ["say", 1778], ["sayest", 1778], ["said", 1778], ["wipe", 1787], ["wiping", 1787], ["away", 1792], ["trace", 1803], ["traces", 1803], ["foam", 1811], ["face", 1827], ["like", 1865], ["sadie", 1871], ["snort", 1889], ["snortest", 1889], ["snorted", 1889], ["luck", 1901], ["pal", 1907], ["palling", 1907], ["anymore", 1952], ["grin", 1970], ["grinned", 1970], ["still", 1983], ["close", 1990], ["closed", 1990], ["yes", 1996], ["nonsense", 2012], ["small", 2018], ["town", 2023], ["chapter", 2074], ["two", 2078], ["twos", 2078], ["hmm", 2082], ["much", 2093], ["soy", 2097], ["flour", 2103], ["oatmeal", 2128], ["raisin", 2135], ["cookie", 2143], ["cookied", 2143], ["cookies", 2143], ["without", 2151], ["totally", 2159], ["destroy", 2170], ["destroys", 2170], ["destroying", 2170], ["taste", 2180], ["really", 2218], ["mean", 2224], ["meanest", 2224], ["meant", 2224], ["nutritious", 2241], ["hannah", 2250], ["pumpkin", 2271], ["mutilate", 2290], ["mutilated", 2290], ["mutilating", 2290], ["name", 2302], ["halloween", 2315], ["pull", 2326], ["pulled", 2326], ["last", 2335], ["pan", 2339], ["pans", 2339], ["oven", 2364], ["transfer", 2383], ["transfering", 2383], ["transferred", 2383], ["wire", 2398], ["rack", 2403], ["take", 2414], ["took", 2414], ["sample", 2423], ["sampling", 2423], ["early", 2439], ["thoughtfully", 2460], ["break", 2466], ["broke", 2466], ["inspect", 2487], ["inspectest", 2487], ["middle", 2498], ["middles", 2498], ["middling", 2498], ["chew", 2511], ["chews", 2511], ["chewest", 2511], ["chewed", 2511], ["piece", 2519], ["pieced", 2519], ["swallow", 2533], ["swallows", 2533], ["swallowed", 2533], ["double", 2551], ["cinnamon", 2560], ["extra", 2570], ["extras", 2570], ["dollop", 2577], ["brown", 2586], ["browns", 2586], ["sugar", 2592], ["sugars", 2592], ["add", 2605], ["added", 2605], ["know", 2627], ["knowest", 2627], ["substitute", 2646], ["substituted", 2646], ["third", 2668], ["regular", 2683], ["regulars", 2683], ["able", 2713], ["abled", 2713], ["tell", 2721], ["seth", 2732], ["certainly", 2749], ["go", 2763], ["goest", 2763], ["going", 2763], ["notice", 2773], ["pare", 2798], ["paring", 2798], ["knife", 2804], ["knifes", 2804], ["adjust", 2823], ["adjusted", 2823], ["eye", 2842], ["eyed", 2842], ["nutrition", 2854], ["important", 2868], ["frequently", 2888], ["bring", 2896], ["brought", 2896], ["item", 2908], ["items", 2908], ["tramp", 2940], ["kindly", 2957], ["live", 2967], ["lived", 2967], ["side", 2985], ["sidest", 2985], ["big", 2996], ["bigs", 2996], ["culvert", 3004], ["near", 3011], ["bridge", 3022], ["river", 3048], ["sure", 3066], ["eat", 3081], ["probably", 3105], ["never", 3111], ["hear", 3117], ["hears", 3117], ["heard", 3117], ["canada", 3127], ["canadas", 3127], ["food", 3135], ["foods", 3135], ["rule", 3141], ["rules", 3141], ["idea", 3159], ["eat", 3171], ["ate", 3171], ["although", 3191], ["fish", 3215], ["fishes", 3215], ["fishest", 3215], ["vegetable", 3262], ["patch", 3268], ["patching", 3268], ["behind", 3275], ["shack", 3285], ["pass", 3301], ["passed", 3301], ["every", 3319], ["day", 3323], ["walk", 3337], ["walked", 3337], ["work", 3345], ["wrought", 3345], ["library", 3360], ["take", 3374], ["taken", 3374], ["stuff", 3386], ["stuffing", 3386], ["goody", 3405], ["goodies", 3405], ["mailbox", 3420], ["pretty", 3514], ["prettiest", 3514], ["mail", 3552], ["offering", 3578], ["offerings", 3578], ["anyway", 3593], ["raise", 3603], ["raising", 3603], ["red", 3611], ["flag", 3616], ["flagged", 3616], ["let", 3623], ["lets", 3623], ["receive", 3648], ["received", 3648], ["plan", 3677], ["gift", 3720], ["finish", 3741], ["finished", 3741], ["help", 3760], ["helpest", 3760], ["helped", 3760], ["ella", 3765], ["ellas", 3765], ["grade", 3793], ["class", 3799], ["classing", 3799], ["classest", 3799], ["field", 3805], ["fielding", 3805], ["trip", 3810], ["tripping", 3810], ["sanchez", 3825], ["yesterday", 3851], ["yesterdays", 3851], ["come", 3864], ["home", 3869], ["homing", 3869], ["already", 3913], ["sat", 3917], ["sit", 3917], ["room", 3936], ["roomed", 3936], ["window", 3943], ["windows", 3943], ["grin", 3952], ["passersby", 3965], ["street", 3979], ["meet", 3998], ["meeted", 3998], ["met", 3998], ["several", 4018], ["since", 4030], ["start", 4045], ["started", 4045], ["give", 4052], ["giving", 4052], ["bake", 4062], ["baked", 4062], ["bakes", 4062], ["baking", 4062], ["good", 4068], ["goods", 4068], ["gracious", 4095], ["usually", 4108], ["rather", 4115], ["vague", 4121], ["tell", 4134], ["told", 4134], ["early", 4144], ["nut", 4177], ["nuts", 4177], ["trouble", 4203], ["troubling", 4203], ["appreciate", 4229], ["appreciates", 4229], ["left", 4248], ["leave", 4248], ["invite", 4288], ["invites", 4288], ["invited", 4288], ["tea", 4299], ["teas", 4299], ["quite", 4335], ["experience", 4349], ["experienced", 4349], ["garden", 4388], ["gardens", 4388], ["gardened", 4388]]
humming something olivia did n't recognize , charlotte bustled back to the kitchen . come to think of it , her mother seemed to be in a mighty cheerful mood herself . olivia asked , following her . `` all i need to do is bring everything to the table , '' charlotte assured her . `` i baked your favorite breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls . '' the breakfast casserole was her mother 's favorite , but far be it from charlotte to cook it just for herself , so she always took advantage of a convenient excuse-like her daughter 's birthday . `` this looks so good . '' olivia pulled out the chair across from her and surveyed the feast . they bowed their heads and her mother said grace before she served the casserole , made up of bacon , onions , hash browns and lots of cheese . `` shall i tell you about the day you were born ? '' `` mother , i 'm fifty-five years old ! i 've heard the story for fifty-four of those years . i know everything there is to know about that day . '' every minute detail had been conveyed countless times . `` i know how daddy had to rush you to the hospital at nine in the evening and how you were in labor for twenty hours . i know there was a big storm the very next day and nobody could visit until the day after . and i know i screamed for three solid hours-or so you say . '' charlotte nodded stubbornly . as silly as it was , she found herself passing on this tradition of her mother 's to her own children . on the morning of her son james 's last birthday , olivia had phoned long distance to describe the day he was born . james had listened politely and then informed her she 'd told him the same thing , almost word for word , the year before . through breakfast , they chatted about family and friends and then her mother casually said , `` i invited ben rhodes to join us , but he had other plans this morning . '' ben , olivia mused . she vaguely remembered hearing her mother mention ben . it might seem peculiar that charlotte would want to include a stranger in olivia 's birthday breakfast . but her mother was like that . she collected people the way some women collected china cups or brooches . for instance , tom harding , cliff 's grandfather , a man in his nineties . she 'd befriended him a couple of years back . the old man had been a stroke victim and had lost the ability to speak , but he did n't appear to have any problem communicating with her mother . it was charlotte 's gift , olivia decided , to seek out those who needed her attention most . `` justine and seth invited me over for dinner , '' she said , purposely turning the subject away from her mother 's latest charity project . `` and grace and i are taking the ferry to seattle to have lunch on the waterfront next weekend . '' her mother nodded , but seemed a bit hurt at olivia 's decided lack of interest in her new friend . `` ben 's stopping by later and we 're going to visit the pumpkin patch . '' olivia considered it a bit odd that two elderly people would want to do something traditionally reserved for young families , but she did n't say anything . more than likely , her mother 's friend was senile and had reverted to childhood memories and this was an activity he 'd enjoy . `` have a wonderful time , '' she said . `` oh , we intend to , '' charlotte murmured . if she did n't know better , olivia would 've thought she 'd seen her mother blushing . later the same day , she asked her daughter about it . `` have you noticed anything different about your grandmother lately ? '' justine , who was busy stirring gravy , glanced up . olivia held her infant grandson and paced the small kitchen , gently patting his back . leif cooed at her , and for a moment , she was caught up in the sheer wonder of holding this baby close to her heart . when she realized justine was waiting for her answer , she returned to the subject of her mother . `` oh-we had breakfast this morning and , well , your grandmother seemed ... oh , i do n't know , secretive . '' `` secretive ? `` mom , i 've been so busy with the restaurant and with leif that i have n't had a chance to notice . '' `` it 's nothing , i 'm sure , but after last year 's cancer scare i want to keep an eye on her . '' it 's just that i have so much going on right now . '' justine , always responsible , was far too willing to accept blame for her shortcomings , imagined or real . `` sweetheart , it 's not your job to be your grandmother 's guardian . just pay attention when you do see her and we 'll compare notes . ''	[["hum", 7], ["hummed", 7], ["humming", 7], ["olivia", 24], ["recognize", 42], ["charlotte", 54], ["bustle", 62], ["bustled", 62], ["bustling", 62], ["back", 67], ["kitchen", 82], ["kitchens", 82], ["come", 89], ["think", 98], ["thinkest", 98], ["mother", 117], ["mothered", 117], ["motherest", 117], ["seem", 124], ["seeming", 124], ["seemed", 124], ["mighty", 142], ["cheerful", 151], ["mood", 156], ["ask", 179], ["asked", 179], ["follow", 191], ["following", 191], ["need", 211], ["needest", 211], ["bring", 226], ["everything", 237], ["table", 250], ["tabled", 250], ["tabling", 250], ["assure", 273], ["assured", 273], ["bake", 290], ["baked", 290], ["bakes", 290], ["baking", 290], ["favorite", 304], ["favoritest", 304], ["breakfast", 314], ["casserole", 324], ["cinnamon", 337], ["roll", 343], ["rolls", 343], ["far", 409], ["cook", 438], ["always", 474], ["take", 479], ["took", 479], ["advantage", 489], ["advantaging", 489], ["convenient", 505], ["excuse", 512], ["like", 517], ["daughter", 530], ["birthday", 542], ["look", 558], ["looks", 558], ["good", 566], ["pull", 585], ["pulled", 585], ["chair", 599], ["chairing", 599], ["across", 606], ["survey", 628], ["surveyest", 628], ["surveyed", 628], ["feast", 638], ["feastest", 638], ["bow", 651], ["bowed", 651], ["head", 663], ["heads", 663], ["say", 683], ["sayest", 683], ["said", 683], ["grace", 689], ["serve", 707], ["served", 707], ["bacon", 740], ["onion", 749], ["onions", 749], ["hash", 756], ["hashed", 756], ["brown", 763], ["browns", 763], ["lot", 772], ["lots", 772], ["cheese", 782], ["cheesed", 782], ["cheesing", 782], ["shall", 793], ["tell", 800], ["day", 818], ["bore", 832], ["bear", 832], ["bearest", 832], ["born", 832], ["fifty", 860], ["five", 865], ["fived", 865], ["year", 871], ["years", 871], ["old", 875], ["hear", 889], ["hears", 889], ["heard", 889], ["story", 899], ["four", 914], ["know", 938], ["knowest", 938], ["every", 992], ["minute", 999], ["detail", 1006], ["convey", 1024], ["conveyest", 1024], ["conveyed", 1024], ["countless", 1034], ["time", 1040], ["times", 1040], ["daddy", 1062], ["rush", 1074], ["hospital", 1094], ["nine", 1102], ["evening", 1117], ["labor", 1143], ["twenty", 1154], ["hour", 1160], ["hours", 1160], ["big", 1185], ["bigs", 1185], ["storm", 1191], ["next", 1205], ["nobody", 1220], ["visit", 1232], ["scream", 1276], ["screams", 1276], ["screamed", 1276], ["three", 1286], ["solid", 1292], ["say", 1312], ["sayest", 1312], ["nod", 1334], ["nodded", 1334], ["stubbornly", 1345], ["silly", 1356], ["find", 1378], ["found", 1378], ["pass", 1394], ["passing", 1394], ["tradition", 1412], ["child", 1449], ["childs", 1449], ["children", 1449], ["morning", 1466], ["son", 1477], ["jameses", 1483], ["last", 1491], ["phone", 1520], ["phoned", 1520], ["long", 1525], ["longs", 1525], ["distance", 1534], ["distancing", 1534], ["describe", 1546], ["listen", 1587], ["listens", 1587], ["listened", 1587], ["politely", 1596], ["inform", 1614], ["informs", 1614], ["informed", 1614], ["tell", 1630], ["told", 1630], ["thing", 1649], ["almost", 1658], ["word", 1663], ["year", 1683], ["chat", 1725], ["chating", 1725], ["chatted", 1725], ["family", 1738], ["friend", 1750], ["friends", 1750], ["casually", 1779], ["invite", 1799], ["invites", 1799], ["invited", 1799], ["ben", 1803], ["bens", 1803], ["rhode", 1810], ["rhodes", 1810], ["join", 1818], ["joinest", 1818], ["plan", 1846], ["plans", 1846], ["muse", 1883], ["musing", 1883], ["mused", 1883], ["vaguely", 1897], ["remember", 1908], ["rememberest", 1908], ["remembered", 1908], ["hear", 1916], ["hears", 1916], ["hearing", 1916], ["mention", 1935], ["may", 1950], ["mays", 1950], ["mayest", 1950], ["might", 1950], ["seem", 1955], ["seeming", 1955], ["peculiar", 1964], ["include", 2001], ["stranger", 2012], ["collect", 2091], ["collected", 2091], ["people", 2098], ["way", 2106], ["ways", 2106], ["woman", 2117], ["womans", 2117], ["women", 2117], ["china", 2133], ["cup", 2138], ["cups", 2138], ["brooch", 2150], ["brooches", 2150], ["instance", 2165], ["tom", 2171], ["cliff", 2187], ["cliffs", 2187], ["grandfather", 2202], ["man", 2210], ["mans", 2210], ["manned", 2210], ["ninety", 2226], ["nineties", 2226], ["befriend", 2246], ["befriending", 2246], ["befriended", 2246], ["couple", 2259], ["stroke", 2305], ["victim", 2312], ["lose", 2325], ["lost", 2325], ["ability", 2337], ["speak", 2346], ["spoken", 2346], ["appear", 2370], ["problem", 2390], ["communicate", 2404], ["communicates", 2404], ["gift", 2447], ["decide", 2464], ["decided", 2464], ["seek", 2474], ["need", 2495], ["needest", 2495], ["needed", 2495], ["attention", 2509], ["justine", 2527], ["seth", 2536], ["dinner", 2563], ["purposely", 2589], ["turn", 2597], ["turning", 2597], ["subject", 2609], ["subjectest", 2609], ["away", 2614], ["late", 2640], ["lates", 2640], ["latest", 2640], ["charity", 2648], ["project", 2656], ["projectest", 2656], ["take", 2688], ["taking", 2688], ["ferry", 2698], ["ferrying", 2698], ["seattle", 2709], ["lunch", 2723], ["lunched", 2723], ["lunches", 2723], ["waterfront", 2741], ["weekend", 2754], ["bit", 2796], ["bits", 2796], ["hurt", 2801], ["hurts", 2801], ["hurting", 2801], ["lack", 2827], ["interest", 2839], ["new", 2850], ["friend", 2857], ["later", 2887], ["go", 2904], ["goest", 2904], ["going", 2904], ["pumpkin", 2925], ["patch", 2931], ["patching", 2931], ["consider", 2954], ["considered", 2954], ["odd", 2967], ["two", 2976], ["twos", 2976], ["elderly", 2984], ["traditionally", 3032], ["reserve", 3041], ["reserved", 3041], ["reserving", 3041], ["young", 3051], ["youngest", 3051], ["family", 3060], ["families", 3060], ["anything", 3091], ["senile", 3144], ["revert", 3161], ["reverted", 3161], ["childhood", 3174], ["memory", 3183], ["memories", 3183], ["activity", 3208], ["enjoy", 3220], ["enjoyed", 3220], ["wonderful", 3242], ["time", 3247], ["oh", 3269], ["intend", 3281], ["intendest", 3281], ["well", 3337], ["wells", 3337], ["think", 3364], ["thinkest", 3364], ["thought", 3364], ["see", 3376], ["seen", 3376], ["blush", 3396], ["blushes", 3396], ["notice", 3473], ["noticed", 3473], ["different", 3492], ["grandmother", 3515], ["lately", 3522], ["busy", 3550], ["busied", 3550], ["stir", 3559], ["stirs", 3559], ["stirring", 3559], ["gravy", 3565], ["glance", 3575], ["glanced", 3575], ["hold", 3592], ["held", 3592], ["infant", 3603], ["grandson", 3612], ["pace", 3622], ["paced", 3622], ["small", 3632], ["gently", 3649], ["pat", 3657], ["patting", 3657], ["coo", 3679], ["coos", 3679], ["cooing", 3679], ["cooest", 3679], ["cooed", 3679], ["moment", 3705], ["catch", 3722], ["catches", 3722], ["catched", 3722], ["caught", 3722], ["sheer", 3738], ["sheering", 3738], ["wonder", 3745], ["wonderest", 3745], ["hold", 3756], ["holding", 3756], ["baby", 3766], ["close", 3772], ["heart", 3785], ["realize", 3805], ["realized", 3805], ["wait", 3825], ["waitest", 3825], ["waiting", 3825], ["answer", 3840], ["answeres", 3840], ["answerest", 3840], ["return", 3855], ["returnest", 3855], ["returned", 3855], ["well", 3933], ["wells", 3933], ["secretive", 3994], ["mom", 4021], ["moms", 4021], ["restaurant", 4062], ["chance", 4105], ["chanced", 4105], ["chancing", 4105], ["notice", 4115], ["nothing", 4137], ["sure", 4149], ["cancer", 4181], ["scare", 4187], ["scared", 4187], ["keep", 4202], ["keepest", 4202], ["eye", 4209], ["eyed", 4209], ["much", 4252], ["right", 4267], ["rightest", 4267], ["responsible", 4305], ["willing", 4327], ["accept", 4337], ["blame", 4343], ["blamest", 4343], ["shortcoming", 4364], ["shortcomings", 4364], ["imagine", 4375], ["imagined", 4375], ["reis", 4383], ["real", 4383], ["sweetheart", 4399], ["job", 4420], ["jobbing", 4420], ["guardian", 4455], ["guardians", 4455], ["pay", 4466], ["pays", 4466], ["payest", 4466], ["see", 4492], ["compare", 4515], ["note", 4521], ["notes", 4521]]
`` thanks , '' he said , reaching out to touch her dirty face . his thumb gently grazed her cheek . claire 's eyes met his for a moment , and then she pul ed away . `` just get used to it . you do n't need to thank me every time i save your stupid ass . '' ryan nodded , and then relaxed against the pew . i watched claire for a moment , as she desperately attempted to feign indifference . i could recal that expression wel ; jared used it many times in the beginning . unfortunately for claire , ryan was far more confident than i was stubborn , and he was certain she would come around . my eyes settled on jared 's beautiful , dirty face . his eyes were tired , but bright blue , excited and amazed that we had the book and our lives . seeing his expression only made it more real that he did n't expect any of us to make it to the church alive . a fact that , to me , was more unsettling than relief . jared asked bex . bex handed jared the book . it keeps talking about the birth , the birth , over and over . how it disturbs the balance and how hel wil stop it and prevail . '' jared flipped through the pages , increasingly frustrated with each one . `` every prophecy has a loop hole . that is why the nephilim were created , to try and stop the bloodline from king david to jesus . '' he slammed the book shut . `` what did father francis say ? '' bex 's eyes shifted toward me for just a moment , and then he shook his head , looking down . `` he does n't see anything , either . but we 've only looked at it once . we could have missed something . '' `` you know my vote , '' claire said . kim stood and stretched . `` jared , i know you want to find something , but we had a deal . '' `` i know , '' jared growled . `` what is kim talking about ? '' jared did n't look up from the pages . `` the promise i made her . if she helped us get back the book , then we would go with her to jerusalem ... to return it to the holy sepulchre . to set her family free . '' i could n't argue , but jared had just begun to look it over . kim was being uncharacteristical y impatient . kim waited for jared to answer , but when he stayed focused on the book , she sighed . `` shax holds my family responsible . he'l retaliate . '' `` he'l do that , anyway , when you return it and it 's out of his reach . your family 's held him off this long . you can wait a few hours , kim . '' `` you do n't get it , '' kim said . `` just let him read the damn book , '' ryan groaned . questions formed in my mind , and i swal owed , always hesitant to get the answer . no matter what she might say , at that point i could n't afford not to understand anything . the days of keeping me in the dark were over . `` what does n't claire get , kim ? '' after a short pause , kim took a breath . `` i 'm not there , '' she said in a low tone . i 've always been twenty minutes away ; shax knew that . he could have sent an entire legion to my father 's house , and within minutes i would be there , and they would have to leave . we need to get on a plane , return the book , and then i need to get home before shax realizes what we 've done . right now he just thinks you 're looking for a loophole to the prophecy . he has no idea he 's about to lose the book forever . '' claire put her elbow on the back edge of the pew , and rested her head on her hand . `` you do n't think jared finding a loophole to the prophecy is more concerning to shax than losing the book ? '' `` no , '' kim said , matter-of-factly . claire snapped back . quiet overcame the group , until jared closed the book with a clap . `` because there is no loophole . '' i smiled hopeful y . you have n't even read the whole thing , yet . '' `` i just did , '' he said , his eyes focused on the black seal that branded the cover . `` they are n't going to stop until they prevent the birth of our child . '' kim sat beside me , lowering her chin . `` this entire cat-and-mouse jared 's been engaged in has been a game to shax . the fact that ryan is stil alive should tel you ... he 's just toying with al of us . '' `` if that were true , why the dreams ? why did jack and gabe push us to get the book ? ''	[["thank", 9], ["thanks", 9], ["thankest", 9], ["say", 22], ["sayest", 22], ["said", 22], ["reach", 33], ["reaching", 33], ["touch", 46], ["touching", 46], ["dirty", 56], ["face", 61], ["thumb", 73], ["thumbed", 73], ["gently", 80], ["graze", 87], ["grazed", 87], ["cheek", 97], ["cheeks", 97], ["claire", 106], ["eye", 114], ["eyed", 114], ["eyes", 114], ["meet", 118], ["meeted", 118], ["met", 118], ["moment", 135], ["pul", 154], ["puli", 154], ["ed", 157], ["away", 162], ["get", 176], ["need", 205], ["needest", 205], ["thank", 214], ["thanks", 214], ["thankest", 214], ["every", 223], ["time", 228], ["save", 235], ["stupid", 247], ["ryan", 261], ["nod", 268], ["nodded", 268], ["relax", 287], ["relaxed", 287], ["pew", 303], ["pews", 303], ["watch", 315], ["watched", 315], ["desperately", 356], ["attempt", 366], ["attempted", 366], ["feign", 375], ["indifference", 388], ["expression", 420], ["wels", 424], ["use", 437], ["used", 437], ["many", 445], ["time", 451], ["times", 451], ["beginning", 468], ["unfortunately", 484], ["far", 510], ["confident", 525], ["stubborn", 545], ["certain", 566], ["come", 581], ["around", 588], ["settle", 606], ["settled", 606], ["beautiful", 628], ["beautifulest", 628], ["tired", 663], ["bright", 676], ["brights", 676], ["blue", 681], ["amazed", 702], ["book", 723], ["life", 737], ["lifes", 737], ["lives", 737], ["see", 746], ["seeing", 746], ["reis", 784], ["real", 784], ["expect", 807], ["church", 842], ["churching", 842], ["alive", 848], ["fact", 857], ["unsettling", 892], ["relief", 904], ["reliefs", 904], ["hand", 935], ["handed", 935], ["jar", 941], ["jared", 941], ["jarred", 941], ["jarring", 941], ["keep", 961], ["keepest", 961], ["keeps", 961], ["talk", 969], ["talking", 969], ["birth", 985], ["disturb", 1031], ["disturbed", 1031], ["disturbs", 1031], ["balance", 1043], ["hel", 1055], ["stop", 1064], ["prevail", 1079], ["flip", 1098], ["flipping", 1098], ["flipped", 1098], ["page", 1116], ["pages", 1116], ["increasingly", 1131], ["frustrate", 1142], ["frustrated", 1142], ["prophecy", 1176], ["loop", 1187], ["looping", 1187], ["hole", 1192], ["nephilim", 1219], ["create", 1232], ["created", 1232], ["try", 1241], ["tryed", 1241], ["bloodline", 1264], ["king", 1274], ["david", 1280], ["davids", 1280], ["jesus", 1289], ["slam", 1305], ["slammed", 1305], ["shut", 1319], ["father", 1340], ["fathered", 1340], ["fathering", 1340], ["francis", 1348], ["say", 1352], ["sayest", 1352], ["shift", 1377], ["shifted", 1377], ["toward", 1384], ["shake", 1425], ["shook", 1425], ["head", 1434], ["look", 1444], ["looking", 1444], ["see", 1470], ["anything", 1479], ["either", 1488], ["look", 1513], ["looked", 1513], ["miss", 1547], ["missed", 1547], ["know", 1574], ["knowest", 1574], ["vote", 1582], ["kim", 1605], ["stood", 1611], ["stand", 1611], ["standest", 1611], ["stretch", 1625], ["stretched", 1625], ["find", 1662], ["deal", 1692], ["look", 1781], ["promise", 1816], ["help", 1843], ["helpest", 1843], ["helped", 1843], ["back", 1855], ["go", 1883], ["goest", 1883], ["jerusalem", 1905], ["return", 1919], ["returnest", 1919], ["holy", 1934], ["sepulchre", 1944], ["set", 1953], ["family", 1964], ["free", 1969], ["argue", 1992], ["begin", 2019], ["begun", 2019], ["impatient", 2082], ["wait", 2095], ["waitest", 2095], ["waited", 2095], ["answer", 2115], ["answeres", 2115], ["answerest", 2115], ["stay", 2136], ["stayed", 2136], ["focus", 2144], ["focused", 2144], ["sigh", 2169], ["sighest", 2169], ["sighed", 2169], ["hold", 2185], ["holds", 2185], ["responsible", 2207], ["retaliate", 2224], ["retaliated", 2224], ["anyway", 2254], ["reach", 2302], ["hold", 2324], ["held", 2324], ["long", 2342], ["longs", 2342], ["wait", 2357], ["waitest", 2357], ["hour", 2369], ["hours", 2369], ["let", 2429], ["lets", 2429], ["read", 2438], ["reads", 2438], ["damn", 2447], ["damned", 2447], ["groan", 2470], ["groans", 2470], ["groanest", 2470], ["groaning", 2470], ["groaned", 2470], ["question", 2482], ["questions", 2482], ["form", 2489], ["formest", 2489], ["formed", 2489], ["mind", 2500], ["minding", 2500], ["owe", 2518], ["owes", 2518], ["owing", 2518], ["owed", 2518], ["always", 2527], ["hesitant", 2536], ["matter", 2566], ["mattering", 2566], ["may", 2581], ["mays", 2581], ["mayest", 2581], ["might", 2581], ["point", 2601], ["afford", 2620], ["understand", 2638], ["understanded", 2638], ["day", 2658], ["days", 2658], ["keep", 2669], ["keepest", 2669], ["keeping", 2669], ["dark", 2684], ["short", 2749], ["pause", 2755], ["take", 2766], ["took", 2766], ["breath", 2775], ["breathest", 2775], ["low", 2818], ["lowed", 2818], ["tone", 2823], ["toned", 2823], ["toning", 2823], ["twenty", 2850], ["minute", 2858], ["minutes", 2858], ["know", 2875], ["knowest", 2875], ["knew", 2875], ["send", 2901], ["sent", 2901], ["entire", 2911], ["legion", 2918], ["house", 2940], ["within", 2953], ["left", 3009], ["leave", 3009], ["plane", 3037], ["home", 3085], ["homing", 3085], ["realize", 3106], ["realizes", 3106], ["right", 3131], ["rightest", 3131], ["think", 3150], ["thinkest", 3150], ["thinks", 3150], ["loophole", 3181], ["loopholes", 3181], ["idea", 3214], ["lose", 3234], ["forever", 3251], ["put", 3267], ["elbow", 3277], ["elbowing", 3277], ["edge", 3294], ["edges", 3294], ["rest", 3318], ["rested", 3318], ["hand", 3339], ["think", 3361], ["thinkest", 3361], ["find", 3375], ["finding", 3375], ["concern", 3421], ["concerned", 3421], ["concernest", 3421], ["concerning", 3421], ["lose", 3441], ["losing", 3441], ["snap", 3511], ["snapping", 3511], ["snapped", 3511], ["quiet", 3524], ["overcome", 3533], ["overcame", 3533], ["group", 3543], ["close", 3564], ["closed", 3564], ["clap", 3585], ["clapped", 3585], ["smile", 3633], ["smiled", 3633], ["hopeful", 3641], ["even", 3663], ["evens", 3663], ["whole", 3678], ["wholes", 3678], ["thing", 3684], ["yet", 3690], ["black", 3754], ["seal", 3759], ["brand", 3772], ["branded", 3772], ["cover", 3782], ["go", 3806], ["goest", 3806], ["going", 3806], ["prevent", 3833], ["preventest", 3833], ["child", 3856], ["childs", 3856], ["sat", 3869], ["sit", 3869], ["beside", 3876], ["lowers", 3890], ["lowerest", 3890], ["lowering", 3890], ["chin", 3899], ["cat", 3920], ["mice", 3930], ["mouse", 3930], ["engage", 3952], ["engaged", 3952], ["game", 3971], ["tel", 4025], ["toy", 4051], ["toyed", 4051], ["toyest", 4051], ["toying", 4051], ["al", 4059], ["als", 4059], ["true", 4091], ["dream", 4108], ["dreamt", 4108], ["dreamest", 4108], ["dreams", 4108], ["jack", 4123], ["jacks", 4123], ["jacked", 4123], ["gabe", 4132], ["push", 4137]]
if it was not evening , with a thick fog extended like a tarp over where i went , emerging from the doors of the concourse vexum halli could easily viewin the tremendous luminous spectacles in the distance , which remained illuminated for me and others to see . often in viewing the firm silhouette of the place , which was so artfully etched against the color of the skyscape , of course , it was impossible to imagine the worlds that were being bridged by the immensity of some of the vessels that came through . many a night , i stood there , enrapt in the glow of fascination , watching with authentic interest at the abundance of spacecrafts which could be witnessed coming and going , in so many variety of shapes , colors , sizes , and designs . a ghost stalked , and was afraid of impotence , or even irrelevance , before the beginning of everything , which happened with the exposure that would occur in the very next week ... lexanna and i spoke evenly , with a repartee that meant something to the way that i believed was the key to our incoherent dialogues at times . of course , there were so many confusing and questionable moments : our moments . these contained a nugget of truth or even a small splinter of burgeoning fantasy , rescuing them in ways that kept our sustenance for each other going ... chapter 2 on that day , lexanna stood there , within the concourse vexum hall , and the grand hall beyond it , staring like a hawk , gazing over the entire interior , taking all of it in . i was nothing like her , being so accustomed to everyone thereexcept for her incredible , stunning and paralyzing beauty there were so many who were getting ready to begin their sessions . i felt an insufferable hankering in my gonads for her . more than once , it occurred to me that i might have made a terrible mistake by inviting her to this place first , where intimacy collided with the rush of intense crowds . later , in the future , she and i would find more comfortable locations to further my work , places that would allow me to probe fully and escalate the intensity of our getting to know each other ; but not now . was i kicking myself for not knowing ? my mantra : for some people , there is a time and place for everything . the importance of smooth navigation and steady maneuvering through the many editions of her personality was a critical aspect of my work . the immensity and vast size of the place would remain as the guide for our design ; it was an entry onto the face of the map of our journey together , since what would take place in that afternoon was the very beginning of our sessions . i took pride in the decision , whether or not i had selected correctly , based on the few absolutes that i could glean from her file . a decision was a choice that advanced a forward motion to a linear and confiscated future in some cases , and i needed to be cautious to avoid the pitfalls . so whether or not right or wrong , good or bad , it was imperative that we had to assure ourselves of pride in our decisionsor we might create in ourselves a mindset of becoming too discouraged to continue . all eventualities between us would lead out from that place , the concourse vexum hall . these included common interests , complementary ideals , and , of course , whatever coterminous plans that would lie ahead . yes , on that very first meeting , she had shown a special charisma in coming to me . lexanna had locked into my frequency wave emissions , and she tuned into me like a supercharged particular , in the similar way that one behaves when closing in on a target . she took a guided course in her steps , which minimized her use of energy , zigzagging all the way over to me , avoiding so many others who obstructed her path . in the process of discovering my placement within the vast people-filled space , lexanna had demonstrated an effortlessness that was rare in my experience . she must have systematically located my entry spaces through her mobile selectivity settingsso as i moved , she also movedso as i turned , she turned . once upon me , she did not break the silence with a weakened slovenly voice , like so many others had done before her . once upon me , lexanna reached to take hold of my shoulder with a soft hand , but albeit a firm hand . this gesture demonstrated a more aggressive need for my attention . as was my custom , i wore a simple but fashionable sensitivity suite , enabling for better management of the surrounding environment . the suit offered a higher-grade of texture and molecular design that interacted perfectly with my ibn abna syngmer codex organ . lexannas hand left a lasting imprint , and my clothes captured the full detail of her palm signature . some other subject would have chosen voice control ; however , she was drawn to locating and targeting me without saying a worda feat that is much more indicative of some deep-seated apprehension . the gesture she used in connecting to me , and the mode of urgency she revealed , echoed the behavior of only a small minority of subjects . they were desperate for change . on some rare occasions , many of them remained too conflicted to know how .	[["evening", 21], ["thick", 36], ["thickest", 36], ["fog", 40], ["fogs", 40], ["extend", 49], ["extended", 49], ["like", 54], ["tarp", 61], ["tarps", 61], ["go", 79], ["goest", 79], ["went", 79], ["emerge", 90], ["emerging", 90], ["door", 105], ["doors", 105], ["concourse", 122], ["easily", 147], ["tremendous", 169], ["luminous", 178], ["spectacle", 189], ["spectacles", 189], ["distance", 205], ["distancing", 205], ["remain", 222], ["remained", 222], ["illuminate", 234], ["illuminated", 234], ["see", 259], ["often", 267], ["view", 278], ["viewest", 278], ["viewing", 278], ["firm", 287], ["silhouette", 298], ["silhouetted", 298], ["silhouetting", 298], ["place", 311], ["artfully", 335], ["etch", 342], ["etched", 342], ["color", 360], ["skyscape", 376], ["course", 388], ["impossible", 408], ["imagine", 419], ["world", 430], ["worlds", 430], ["bridge", 454], ["bridged", 454], ["immensity", 471], ["vessel", 494], ["vessels", 494], ["come", 504], ["came", 504], ["many", 519], ["night", 527], ["stood", 537], ["stand", 537], ["standest", 537], ["enrapt", 552], ["glow", 564], ["glowest", 564], ["fascination", 579], ["watch", 590], ["watching", 590], ["authentic", 605], ["authentics", 605], ["interest", 614], ["abundance", 631], ["spacecraft", 646], ["spacecrafts", 646], ["witness", 671], ["witnessed", 671], ["come", 678], ["coming", 678], ["go", 688], ["goest", 688], ["going", 688], ["variety", 709], ["shape", 719], ["shapes", 719], ["color", 728], ["colors", 728], ["size", 736], ["sizes", 736], ["design", 750], ["designs", 750], ["ghost", 760], ["stalk", 768], ["stalkest", 768], ["stalked", 768], ["afraid", 785], ["impotence", 798], ["even", 808], ["evens", 808], ["irrelevance", 820], ["beginning", 843], ["everything", 857], ["happen", 874], ["happened", 874], ["exposure", 892], ["occur", 909], ["occurest", 909], ["next", 926], ["week", 931], ["speak", 955], ["spoken", 955], ["spoke", 955], ["evenly", 962], ["repartee", 980], ["mean", 991], ["meanest", 991], ["meant", 991], ["way", 1012], ["ways", 1012], ["believe", 1028], ["believed", 1028], ["key", 1040], ["keyed", 1040], ["keyest", 1040], ["incoherent", 1058], ["dialogue", 1068], ["dialogues", 1068], ["time", 1077], ["times", 1077], ["questionable", 1137], ["moment", 1145], ["moments", 1145], ["contain", 1177], ["containest", 1177], ["contained", 1177], ["nugget", 1186], ["nuggets", 1186], ["truth", 1195], ["small", 1211], ["splinter", 1220], ["burgeon", 1234], ["burgeonest", 1234], ["burgeoning", 1234], ["fantasy", 1242], ["rescue", 1253], ["rescuing", 1253], ["way", 1266], ["ways", 1266], ["keep", 1276], ["keepest", 1276], ["kept", 1276], ["sustenance", 1291], ["chapter", 1324], ["day", 1338], ["within", 1369], ["hall", 1394], ["grand", 1410], ["beyond", 1422], ["stare", 1435], ["stared", 1435], ["staring", 1435], ["hawk", 1447], ["hawks", 1447], ["hawked", 1447], ["hawking", 1447], ["gaze", 1456], ["gazes", 1456], ["gazing", 1456], ["entire", 1472], ["interior", 1481], ["take", 1490], ["taking", 1490], ["nothing", 1519], ["everyone", 1562], ["incredible", 1593], ["stunning", 1604], ["paralyze", 1619], ["paralyzed", 1619], ["paralyzing", 1619], ["beauty", 1626], ["get", 1662], ["getting", 1662], ["ready", 1668], ["begin", 1677], ["session", 1692], ["sessions", 1692], ["feel", 1701], ["felt", 1701], ["insufferable", 1717], ["hankering", 1727], ["gonad", 1740], ["gonads", 1740], ["occur", 1779], ["occurest", 1779], ["occurred", 1779], ["may", 1798], ["mays", 1798], ["mayest", 1798], ["might", 1798], ["terrible", 1819], ["mistake", 1827], ["mistook", 1827], ["mistaken", 1827], ["invite", 1839], ["invites", 1839], ["inviting", 1839], ["first", 1863], ["firstest", 1863], ["intimacy", 1880], ["intimacies", 1880], ["collide", 1889], ["collides", 1889], ["collided", 1889], ["rush", 1903], ["intense", 1914], ["crowd", 1921], ["crowdest", 1921], ["crowding", 1921], ["crowds", 1921], ["later", 1929], ["future", 1945], ["find", 1968], ["comfortable", 1985], ["location", 1995], ["locations", 1995], ["work", 2014], ["wrought", 2014], ["place", 2023], ["places", 2023], ["allow", 2040], ["probe", 2052], ["probed", 2052], ["fully", 2058], ["escalate", 2071], ["intensity", 2085], ["know", 2108], ["knowest", 2108], ["kick", 2149], ["kicking", 2149], ["know", 2172], ["knowest", 2172], ["knowing", 2172], ["mantra", 2184], ["people", 2202], ["time", 2220], ["importance", 2262], ["smooth", 2272], ["navigation", 2283], ["steady", 2294], ["maneuver", 2306], ["maneuverest", 2306], ["maneuvering", 2306], ["edition", 2332], ["editions", 2332], ["personality", 2351], ["critical", 2366], ["aspect", 2373], ["vast", 2409], ["vasts", 2409], ["size", 2414], ["remain", 2440], ["guide", 2453], ["design", 2468], ["entry", 2486], ["onto", 2491], ["ontos", 2491], ["face", 2500], ["map", 2511], ["mapped", 2511], ["journey", 2526], ["journeys", 2526], ["journeyed", 2526], ["journeyest", 2526], ["together", 2535], ["since", 2543], ["take", 2559], ["afternoon", 2583], ["take", 2631], ["took", 2631], ["pride", 2637], ["decision", 2653], ["whether", 2663], ["select", 2685], ["selected", 2685], ["correctly", 2695], ["base", 2703], ["basest", 2703], ["based", 2703], ["absolute", 2724], ["absolutes", 2724], ["glean", 2743], ["gleans", 2743], ["file", 2757], ["choice", 2783], ["advance", 2797], ["advancest", 2797], ["forward", 2807], ["forwardest", 2807], ["forwarding", 2807], ["motion", 2814], ["linear", 2826], ["confiscate", 2842], ["confiscated", 2842], ["case", 2863], ["cases", 2863], ["need", 2878], ["needest", 2878], ["needed", 2878], ["cautious", 2893], ["avoid", 2902], ["pitfall", 2915], ["pitfalls", 2915], ["right", 2941], ["rightest", 2941], ["wrong", 2950], ["good", 2957], ["bad", 2964], ["imperative", 2984], ["assure", 3006], ["create", 3060], ["mindset", 3083], ["mindsets", 3083], ["become", 3095], ["becoming", 3095], ["continue", 3123], ["eventuality", 3143], ["eventualities", 3143], ["lead", 3165], ["leaded", 3165], ["include", 3229], ["included", 3229], ["common", 3236], ["commons", 3236], ["commonest", 3236], ["interest", 3246], ["interests", 3246], ["complementary", 3262], ["ideal", 3269], ["ideals", 3269], ["whatever", 3298], ["coterminous", 3310], ["plan", 3316], ["plans", 3316], ["lay", 3331], ["lie", 3331], ["lain", 3331], ["ahead", 3337], ["yes", 3343], ["meeting", 3372], ["show", 3388], ["shown", 3388], ["special", 3398], ["charisma", 3407], ["lock", 3444], ["locked", 3444], ["frequency", 3462], ["wave", 3467], ["waved", 3467], ["emission", 3477], ["emissions", 3477], ["tune", 3493], ["tuning", 3493], ["tuned", 3493], ["supercharge", 3521], ["supercharged", 3521], ["particular", 3532], ["similar", 3549], ["behave", 3570], ["behaved", 3570], ["behaving", 3570], ["behaves", 3570], ["close", 3583], ["target", 3598], ["guide", 3618], ["guided", 3618], ["step", 3638], ["steps", 3638], ["minimize", 3656], ["minimized", 3656], ["use", 3664], ["energy", 3674], ["zigzag", 3687], ["zigzagged", 3687], ["zigzagging", 3687], ["avoid", 3721], ["avoiding", 3721], ["obstruct", 3751], ["obstructed", 3751], ["path", 3760], ["process", 3777], ["discover", 3792], ["discovering", 3792], ["placement", 3805], ["fill", 3835], ["fills", 3835], ["filled", 3835], ["space", 3841], ["spaced", 3841], ["spacing", 3841], ["demonstrate", 3868], ["demonstrated", 3868], ["effortlessness", 3886], ["rare", 3900], ["experience", 3917], ["experienced", 3917], ["must", 3928], ["musts", 3928], ["systematically", 3948], ["locate", 3956], ["located", 3956], ["space", 3972], ["spaced", 3972], ["spacing", 3972], ["spaces", 3972], ["mobile", 3991], ["mobiles", 3991], ["selectivity", 4003], ["move", 4025], ["moved", 4025], ["also", 4036], ["turn", 4056], ["turned", 4056], ["upon", 4081], ["break", 4104], ["broke", 4104], ["silence", 4116], ["weaken", 4132], ["weakened", 4132], ["slovenly", 4141], ["voice", 4147], ["reach", 4222], ["reached", 4222], ["hold", 4235], ["shoulder", 4250], ["shouldered", 4250], ["soft", 4262], ["hand", 4267], ["albeit", 4280], ["gesture", 4307], ["aggressive", 4338], ["need", 4343], ["needest", 4343], ["attention", 4360], ["custom", 4379], ["customs", 4379], ["wear", 4388], ["wore", 4388], ["simple", 4397], ["simplest", 4397], ["fashionable", 4413], ["sensitivity", 4425], ["enable", 4442], ["enabling", 4442], ["well", 4453], ["wells", 4453], ["management", 4464], ["surround", 4483], ["surrounding", 4483], ["environment", 4495], ["suit", 4506], ["suited", 4506], ["offer", 4514], ["offered", 4514], ["high", 4523], ["grade", 4529], ["texture", 4540], ["molecular", 4554], ["interact", 4577], ["interacted", 4577], ["perfectly", 4587], ["ibn", 4599], ["codex", 4618], ["codexes", 4618], ["organ", 4624], ["left", 4645], ["leave", 4645], ["imprint", 4663], ["clad", 4680], ["clothe", 4680], ["clothes", 4680], ["capture", 4689], ["captured", 4689], ["full", 4698], ["detail", 4705], ["palm", 4717], ["palms", 4717], ["palmed", 4717], ["palmest", 4717], ["signature", 4727], ["subject", 4748], ["subjectest", 4748], ["choose", 4766], ["chosen", 4766], ["control", 4780], ["however", 4790], ["draw", 4806], ["draws", 4806], ["drawn", 4806], ["locate", 4818], ["locating", 4818], ["target", 4832], ["targeting", 4832], ["without", 4843], ["say", 4850], ["sayest", 4850], ["saying", 4850], ["feat", 4863], ["much", 4876], ["indicative", 4892], ["deep", 4905], ["deeply", 4905], ["seat", 4912], ["seated", 4912], ["apprehension", 4925], ["use", 4948], ["used", 4948], ["connect", 4962], ["connectest", 4962], ["connecting", 4962], ["mode", 4983], ["moded", 4983], ["urgency", 4994], ["reveal", 5007], ["revealed", 5007], ["echo", 5016], ["echoed", 5016], ["behavior", 5029], ["minority", 5054], ["subject", 5066], ["subjectest", 5066], ["subjects", 5066], ["desperate", 5088], ["change", 5099], ["occasion", 5124], ["occasions", 5124]]
if you were to be misplaced , there is no one to miss or worry over you . '' grinning , simon leaned forward . `` you must have thought the same about lysette baillon . or is it rousseau ? i admit , i am confused . regardless , you were wrong . she is missed and now she has been found . '' desjardins 's fists clenched . the only explanations we shall be hearing are yours . '' `` you would be better served by forgetting whatever it is you believe you know and leaving the country . the matters into which you pry will lead you to hell . '' `` you have been bound to l'esprit 's whims for twenty years . obviously , you are unable to extricate yourself on your own . i can help you , '' simon said , `` if it suits me . '' desjardins sat , betraying his interest . `` i will have lysette and you will leave her life as if you were never in it . '' the grin that split the comte 's face was so triumphant , simon laughed softly . `` i knew you fancied her ! '' desjardins said smugly . `` never mind what you believe you know . tell me about l'esprit . '' desjardins 's lips pursed and he sat back , crossing his arms . there was a long , measured pause . then he began to speak and simon listened with great interest . when the tale was finished , simon asked , `` how long was the gap between the ruination of saint-martin and the time you received the next correspondence ? '' `` ten years , more or less . '' `` and when next you heard from him , he did not come to you in the cellar ? '' `` you did not find that strange ? '' `` i find the entire association to be strange , '' the comte snapped . `` the original notes bore no traceable handwriting and l'esprit met with you in the cellar . the later notes came handwritten and l'esprit does not approach you at all . the first notes bore jewels ; the later notes do not . '' `` one did , '' the comte corrected . `` it was only when i refused it and him that he began to pay me with threats against my family . '' `` and you never wondered if the origins were different ? '' `` he is unique , quinn . the insult was not lost on simon , but he ignored it . `` anything can be replicated , if one is clever enough . '' the comte considered that thought carefully . `` how do you intend to help me ? '' `` i think we proved today that the man can be fooled . '' `` you think we can lure him with thierry ? '' simon drummed his fingers atop his knee . `` i think thierry might know l'esprit better than you realize . there was something in the man 's voice when he spoke to me . it was not entirely an order . more of an admonishment . such as one given to someone not completely an underling . '' thierry has been with me for years . '' `` the loyalty men such as you and i inspire can be purchased , and you fail to see that perhaps l'esprit has also known thierry for years . '' `` i fail to see nothing , aside from how you can help me , '' the comte said . `` if thierry worked for l'esprit , he would have betrayed lysette by now . '' did l'esprit arrange her abduction ? '' the comte said nothing , which told simon a great deal . `` arrange a meeting with saint-martin , '' simon said , standing . `` then apprise me of when and where it will be held . '' `` you act as if i trust you , '' desjardins retorted , standing . the comte 's already thin lips thinned further . simon grinned and walked toward the door , exiting to the right in the hallway and moving toward the rear of the house . `` you will have to do as i say , if you hope to find out . '' he moved through the kitchen , then down the stairs to the cellar . desjardins was fast on his heels , nearly running to keep up with simon 's much longer stride . opening the door to the catacombs , he looked down . `` i need a torch , '' he said . `` as if there are any simply lying about , '' the comte scoffed . glancing aside at him , simon raised one brow . a long moment passed , then the comte cursed and exited to the kitchen . he returned within moments with a blazing torch . `` there is nothing of note down there , quinn . '' simon stepped into the rock-lined hallway and closed the door behind him . as he suspected , a half hour later simon found himself emerging in the cemetery where he had been led to see his men .	[["misplace", 27], ["misplaced", 27], ["miss", 53], ["worry", 62], ["worried", 62], ["grin", 85], ["grinning", 85], ["simon", 93], ["lean", 100], ["leans", 100], ["leaned", 100], ["forward", 108], ["forwardest", 108], ["forwarding", 108], ["must", 122], ["musts", 122], ["think", 135], ["thinkest", 135], ["thought", 135], ["rousseau", 186], ["admit", 196], ["regardless", 225], ["wrong", 242], ["miss", 258], ["missed", 258], ["find", 285], ["found", 285], ["fist", 310], ["fists", 310], ["clench", 319], ["clenched", 319], ["explanation", 343], ["explanations", 343], ["shall", 352], ["hear", 363], ["hears", 363], ["hearing", 363], ["well", 401], ["wells", 401], ["serve", 408], ["served", 408], ["forget", 422], ["forgot", 422], ["forgetting", 422], ["whatever", 431], ["believe", 449], ["know", 458], ["knowest", 458], ["left", 470], ["leave", 470], ["leaving", 470], ["country", 482], ["matter", 496], ["mattering", 496], ["matters", 496], ["pry", 515], ["pried", 515], ["prying", 515], ["lead", 525], ["leaded", 525], ["hell", 537], ["hells", 537], ["bind", 565], ["bound", 565], ["whim", 586], ["whims", 586], ["twenty", 597], ["year", 603], ["years", 603], ["obviously", 615], ["unable", 632], ["unabled", 632], ["extricate", 645], ["extricated", 645], ["help", 679], ["helpest", 679], ["say", 699], ["sayest", 699], ["said", 699], ["suit", 716], ["suited", 716], ["suits", 716], ["sat", 739], ["sit", 739], ["betray", 751], ["betrayed", 751], ["betraying", 751], ["interest", 764], ["left", 808], ["leave", 808], ["life", 817], ["lifes", 817], ["never", 838], ["grin", 858], ["split", 869], ["comte", 879], ["face", 887], ["triumphant", 905], ["laugh", 921], ["laughed", 921], ["softly", 928], ["know", 940], ["knowest", 940], ["knew", 940], ["fancy", 952], ["fanciest", 952], ["fancied", 952], ["smugly", 984], ["mind", 1000], ["minding", 1000], ["tell", 1033], ["lip", 1075], ["lipped", 1075], ["lips", 1075], ["purse", 1082], ["pursed", 1082], ["back", 1098], ["cross", 1109], ["crossing", 1109], ["arm", 1118], ["arms", 1118], ["long", 1137], ["longs", 1137], ["pause", 1154], ["begin", 1170], ["began", 1170], ["speak", 1179], ["spoken", 1179], ["listen", 1198], ["listens", 1198], ["listened", 1198], ["great", 1209], ["tale", 1234], ["finish", 1247], ["finished", 1247], ["ask", 1261], ["asked", 1261], ["gap", 1287], ["gaps", 1287], ["gapping", 1287], ["ruination", 1309], ["saint", 1318], ["saintes", 1318], ["martin", 1325], ["time", 1338], ["receive", 1351], ["received", 1351], ["next", 1360], ["correspondence", 1375], ["correspondences", 1375], ["ten", 1387], ["less", 1408], ["hear", 1440], ["hears", 1440], ["heard", 1440], ["come", 1467], ["cellar", 1488], ["find", 1513], ["strange", 1526], ["entire", 1552], ["association", 1564], ["snap", 1601], ["snapping", 1601], ["snapped", 1601], ["original", 1619], ["note", 1625], ["notes", 1625], ["bore", 1630], ["bear", 1630], ["bearest", 1630], ["traceable", 1643], ["handwriting", 1655], ["meet", 1672], ["meeted", 1672], ["met", 1672], ["later", 1707], ["come", 1718], ["came", 1718], ["handwritten", 1730], ["approach", 1761], ["approaches", 1761], ["first", 1784], ["firstest", 1784], ["jewel", 1802], ["jeweled", 1802], ["jewelled", 1802], ["jewels", 1802], ["correct", 1868], ["corrected", 1868], ["refuse", 1900], ["refused", 1900], ["pay", 1932], ["pays", 1932], ["payest", 1932], ["threat", 1948], ["threats", 1948], ["family", 1966], ["wonder", 1997], ["wonderest", 1997], ["wondered", 1997], ["origin", 2012], ["origins", 2012], ["different", 2027], ["unique", 2048], ["quinn", 2056], ["insult", 2069], ["insultest", 2069], ["lose", 2082], ["lost", 2082], ["ignore", 2108], ["ignored", 2108], ["anything", 2125], ["replicate", 2143], ["replicated", 2143], ["clever", 2162], ["enough", 2169], ["consider", 2195], ["considered", 2195], ["carefully", 2218], ["intend", 2241], ["intendest", 2241], ["think", 2268], ["thinkest", 2268], ["prof", 2278], ["prove", 2278], ["proved", 2278], ["today", 2284], ["man", 2297], ["mans", 2297], ["manned", 2297], ["fool", 2311], ["foolest", 2311], ["fooling", 2311], ["fooled", 2311], ["lure", 2341], ["thierry", 2358], ["drum", 2377], ["drummed", 2377], ["finger", 2389], ["fingers", 2389], ["atop", 2394], ["knee", 2403], ["may", 2430], ["mays", 2430], ["mayest", 2430], ["might", 2430], ["realize", 2468], ["voice", 2510], ["speak", 2524], ["spoken", 2524], ["spoke", 2524], ["entirely", 2552], ["order", 2561], ["orderest", 2561], ["admonishment", 2587], ["give", 2607], ["given", 2607], ["completely", 2633], ["underling", 2646], ["loyalty", 2706], ["man", 2710], ["mans", 2710], ["manned", 2710], ["men", 2710], ["inspire", 2736], ["purchase", 2753], ["purchased", 2753], ["fail", 2768], ["see", 2775], ["perhaps", 2788], ["also", 2806], ["know", 2812], ["knowest", 2812], ["known", 2812], ["nothing", 2860], ["aside", 2868], ["work", 2936], ["wrought", 2936], ["worked", 2936], ["betray", 2974], ["betrayed", 2974], ["betraying", 2974], ["arrange", 3015], ["arranging", 3015], ["abduction", 3029], ["tell", 3070], ["told", 3070], ["deal", 3089], ["meeting", 3112], ["stood", 3157], ["stand", 3157], ["standest", 3157], ["standing", 3157], ["apprise", 3175], ["hold", 3212], ["held", 3212], ["act", 3228], ["acted", 3228], ["trust", 3242], ["retort", 3271], ["retortest", 3271], ["retorted", 3271], ["already", 3305], ["thin", 3310], ["thins", 3310], ["thin", 3323], ["thins", 3323], ["thinned", 3323], ["far", 3331], ["grin", 3347], ["grinned", 3347], ["walk", 3358], ["walked", 3358], ["toward", 3365], ["door", 3374], ["exit", 3384], ["exited", 3384], ["exiting", 3384], ["right", 3397], ["rightest", 3397], ["hallway", 3412], ["hallways", 3412], ["move", 3423], ["moving", 3423], ["rear", 3439], ["house", 3452], ["say", 3486], ["sayest", 3486], ["hope", 3500], ["move", 3526], ["moved", 3526], ["kitchen", 3546], ["kitchens", 3546], ["stair", 3569], ["stairs", 3569], ["fast", 3605], ["heel", 3618], ["heeled", 3618], ["heels", 3618], ["nearly", 3627], ["run", 3635], ["running", 3635], ["keep", 3643], ["keepest", 3643], ["much", 3665], ["long", 3672], ["longs", 3672], ["stride", 3679], ["stridden", 3679], ["open", 3689], ["catacomb", 3715], ["catacombs", 3715], ["look", 3727], ["looked", 3727], ["need", 3744], ["needest", 3744], ["torch", 3752], ["simply", 3797], ["lay", 3803], ["lie", 3803], ["lain", 3803], ["lying", 3803], ["scoff", 3832], ["scoffs", 3832], ["scoffed", 3832], ["glance", 3843], ["glancing", 3843], ["raise", 3871], ["raised", 3871], ["brow", 3880], ["moment", 3896], ["pass", 3903], ["passed", 3903], ["curse", 3927], ["cursed", 3927], ["exit", 3938], ["exited", 3938], ["return", 3967], ["returnest", 3967], ["returned", 3967], ["within", 3974], ["moment", 3982], ["moments", 3982], ["note", 4033], ["step", 4071], ["stepped", 4071], ["rock", 4085], ["line", 4091], ["lined", 4091], ["close", 4110], ["closed", 4110], ["behind", 4126], ["suspect", 4148], ["suspected", 4148], ["half", 4157], ["hour", 4162], ["emerge", 4197], ["emerging", 4197], ["cemetery", 4213], ["lead", 4235], ["leaded", 4235], ["led", 4235]]
she inhaled deeply and took a minute to focus before she did what she knew she needed to do . she looked down at her leather messenger bag , feeling very uncomfortable . i 'm only sorry that you 're sorry . '' paul brought his face close to hers and smiled . i 'm not upset or anything . '' i 'm not usually like that - to just kiss someone . '' `` i 'm not just someone , am i ? '' he looked at her inquisitively . `` i 've wanted to kiss you for the longest time . ever since that first seminar , i think . but that would have been too soon . '' he tried to persuade her to look at him , but she looked away . she looked toward another table and its two quarreling occupants . `` julia , the kiss does n't have to change anything . think of it as a moment between friends . it does n't have to happen again , unless you want it to . '' he searched her face , worriedly . `` would that make it better ? if we left it like that ? '' she nodded and squirmed . you 've been nothing but nice to me . '' i 'm not looking for payment , here . i 'm nice to you because i want to be . that 's why i bought you the cd . that 's why the poem reminds me of you . he leaned closer so that he could whisper in her ear , acutely aware of the fact that a pair of angry sapphire eyes was suddenly focused on him . `` please do n't feel obligated to do anything that you do n't want to do . i 'll be your friend no matter what . '' `` it was a friendly little kiss , instead of a hug . but from now on , we can stick to hugs , if you want . and one day , if you want more ... '' `` i 'm not ready , '' she breathed , somewhat surprised that she found honest words to say and found them so quickly . that 's why i did n't kiss you back much , even though i wanted to . but it was very nice . i know you 're careful about who you let yourself get close to . i feel honored that you kissed me . '' he patted her hand and smiled at her again . she opened her mouth to say something , but he beat her to it . `` i could break christa 's neck for what she said to you . i wo n't bother talking to her next time . '' his eyes darted to the professor 's table where he noticed with some relief that the angry sapphire eyes were now fixated on christa , who was bowing her head and close to tears . and i felt your reaction : you cringed . you f**king cringed , julia . why did n't you tell her to go to hell ? '' `` i do n't do things like that if i can help it . i try not to lower myself to her level . sometimes , i just feel so ... so surprised that someone is being nasty to me , i ca n't think . `` people are ... nasty to you ? '' paul began to get angry . `` he 's coming around . you saw him just then - he was nice . '' paul nodded reluctantly . professor dick-erson . `` i do n't mean to be all ... st. francis of assisi or something , but anyone can shout obscenities . why should i become like her ? why not think that sometimes - just sometimes - you can overcome evil with silence ? and let people hear their hatefulness in their own ears , without distraction . maybe goodness is enough to expose evil for what it really is , sometimes . rather than trying to stop evil with more evil . not that i 'm good . i do n't think that i 'm good . '' she paused and looked over at paul . `` of course you 're making sense . we talked about this in my aquinas seminar - evil is its own punishment . look at christa . do you think she 's happy ? how could she be , behaving like that ? some people are so self-absorbed and deluded that all the shouting in the world would n't be enough to convince them of their own shortcomings . '' `` or jog their memory , '' julia mumbled , gazing over at the other table and shaking her head . the next day , she found herself in the department of italian studies checking her mailbox before the dante seminar . she was listening to the cd that paul had given to her , which she 'd finally agreed to accept and upload to her ipod . he was right ; she 'd fallen in love with the album immediately . and she found that she could write her thesis proposal while listening to his music much better than while listening to mozart . lacrimosa was far too depressing . after days of finding nothing in her pigeonhole , she finally received some mail . three pieces of mail , actually .	[["inhale", 11], ["inhaled", 11], ["deeply", 18], ["take", 27], ["took", 27], ["minute", 36], ["focus", 45], ["know", 74], ["knowest", 74], ["knew", 74], ["need", 85], ["needest", 85], ["needed", 85], ["look", 104], ["looked", 104], ["leather", 124], ["messenger", 134], ["bag", 138], ["bagged", 138], ["bagging", 138], ["feel", 148], ["feeling", 148], ["uncomfortable", 167], ["sorry", 185], ["paul", 214], ["pauls", 214], ["bring", 222], ["brought", 222], ["face", 231], ["close", 237], ["smile", 256], ["smiled", 256], ["upset", 273], ["anything", 285], ["usually", 307], ["like", 312], ["kiss", 332], ["kisses", 332], ["kissest", 332], ["inquisitively", 413], ["long", 459], ["longs", 459], ["longest", 459], ["time", 464], ["ever", 471], ["everest", 471], ["since", 477], ["first", 488], ["firstest", 488], ["seminar", 496], ["seminars", 496], ["think", 506], ["thinkest", 506], ["soon", 542], ["try", 556], ["tryed", 556], ["tried", 556], ["persuade", 568], ["look", 580], ["away", 609], ["toward", 629], ["another", 637], ["table", 643], ["tabled", 643], ["tabling", 643], ["two", 655], ["twos", 655], ["quarrel", 666], ["quarrels", 666], ["quarrelest", 666], ["quarreling", 666], ["quarrelling", 666], ["occupant", 676], ["occupants", 676], ["julia", 687], ["change", 722], ["moment", 757], ["friend", 773], ["friends", 773], ["happen", 802], ["unless", 817], ["unlesss", 817], ["search", 849], ["searched", 849], ["worriedly", 870], ["well", 901], ["wells", 901], ["left", 914], ["leave", 914], ["nod", 943], ["nodded", 943], ["squirm", 956], ["squirmed", 956], ["nothing", 979], ["nice", 988], ["look", 1016], ["looking", 1016], ["payment", 1028], ["buy", 1098], ["buyed", 1098], ["bought", 1098], ["cd", 1109], ["poem", 1132], ["remind", 1140], ["reminds", 1140], ["lean", 1162], ["leans", 1162], ["leaned", 1162], ["close", 1169], ["closer", 1169], ["whisper", 1194], ["ear", 1205], ["acutely", 1215], ["aware", 1221], ["fact", 1233], ["pair", 1245], ["pairs", 1245], ["angry", 1254], ["sapphire", 1263], ["eye", 1268], ["eyed", 1268], ["eyes", 1268], ["suddenly", 1281], ["focus", 1289], ["focused", 1289], ["please", 1308], ["feel", 1320], ["friend", 1395], ["matter", 1405], ["mattering", 1405], ["friendly", 1436], ["little", 1443], ["instead", 1458], ["hug", 1467], ["stick", 1500], ["stickest", 1500], ["hug", 1508], ["hugs", 1508], ["day", 1536], ["ready", 1580], ["breathe", 1598], ["breathes", 1598], ["breathed", 1598], ["somewhat", 1609], ["find", 1634], ["found", 1634], ["honest", 1641], ["word", 1647], ["words", 1647], ["say", 1654], ["sayest", 1654], ["quickly", 1680], ["back", 1718], ["much", 1723], ["even", 1730], ["evens", 1730], ["though", 1737], ["know", 1781], ["knowest", 1781], ["careful", 1797], ["let", 1815], ["lets", 1815], ["get", 1828], ["kiss", 1870], ["kisses", 1870], ["kissest", 1870], ["kissed", 1870], ["pat", 1888], ["patted", 1888], ["hand", 1897], ["open", 1934], ["opened", 1934], ["mouth", 1944], ["mouthed", 1944], ["beat", 1975], ["break", 2004], ["broke", 2004], ["christa", 2012], ["neck", 2020], ["necked", 2020], ["say", 2038], ["sayest", 2038], ["said", 2038], ["wo", 2052], ["bother", 2063], ["bothers", 2063], ["bothering", 2063], ["talk", 2071], ["talking", 2071], ["next", 2083], ["dart", 2109], ["darted", 2109], ["professor", 2126], ["notice", 2152], ["noticed", 2152], ["relief", 2169], ["reliefs", 2169], ["fixate", 2215], ["fixates", 2215], ["fixated", 2215], ["bow", 2243], ["bowing", 2243], ["head", 2252], ["tear", 2271], ["teared", 2271], ["tears", 2271], ["feel", 2284], ["felt", 2284], ["reaction", 2298], ["cringe", 2312], ["cringing", 2312], ["tell", 2365], ["go", 2375], ["goest", 2375], ["hell", 2383], ["hells", 2383], ["thing", 2410], ["things", 2410], ["help", 2434], ["helpest", 2434], ["try", 2445], ["tryed", 2445], ["lower", 2458], ["lowers", 2458], ["lowerest", 2458], ["level", 2478], ["nasty", 2552], ["ca", 2565], ["cas", 2565], ["people", 2587], ["begin", 2624], ["began", 2624], ["come", 2655], ["coming", 2655], ["around", 2662], ["see", 2672], ["saw", 2672], ["reluctantly", 2729], ["dick", 2746], ["mean", 2771], ["meanest", 2771], ["st", 2788], ["sts", 2788], ["francis", 2797], ["assisi", 2807], ["anyone", 2833], ["shout", 2843], ["obscenity", 2855], ["obscenities", 2855], ["become", 2877], ["overcome", 2953], ["overcame", 2953], ["evil", 2958], ["evils", 2958], ["evilest", 2958], ["silence", 2971], ["hear", 2993], ["hears", 2993], ["hatefulness", 3011], ["ear", 3029], ["ears", 3029], ["without", 3039], ["distraction", 3051], ["maybe", 3059], ["goodness", 3068], ["enough", 3078], ["expose", 3088], ["really", 3112], ["rather", 3136], ["try", 3148], ["tryed", 3148], ["trying", 3148], ["stop", 3156], ["good", 3197], ["pause", 3245], ["paused", 3245], ["course", 3284], ["sense", 3305], ["talk", 3317], ["talked", 3317], ["aquinas", 3342], ["punishment", 3379], ["happy", 3425], ["behave", 3455], ["behaved", 3455], ["behaving", 3455], ["self", 3491], ["absorb", 3500], ["absorbed", 3500], ["delude", 3512], ["deluding", 3512], ["deluded", 3512], ["shouting", 3534], ["world", 3547], ["convince", 3579], ["convinced", 3579], ["convincing", 3579], ["shortcoming", 3610], ["shortcomings", 3610], ["jog", 3625], ["jogs", 3625], ["memory", 3638], ["memories", 3638], ["mumble", 3657], ["mumbles", 3657], ["mumbled", 3657], ["gaze", 3666], ["gazes", 3666], ["gazing", 3666], ["shake", 3702], ["shaking", 3702], ["department", 3764], ["italian", 3775], ["italians", 3775], ["study", 3783], ["studies", 3783], ["check", 3792], ["checking", 3792], ["mailbox", 3804], ["dante", 3821], ["listen", 3849], ["listens", 3849], ["listening", 3849], ["give", 3879], ["given", 3879], ["finally", 3909], ["agree", 3916], ["agreed", 3916], ["accept", 3926], ["upload", 3937], ["uploaded", 3937], ["uploading", 3937], ["ipod", 3949], ["ipods", 3949], ["right", 3964], ["rightest", 3964], ["fall", 3980], ["falls", 3980], ["fallen", 3980], ["love", 3988], ["album", 4003], ["albums", 4003], ["immediately", 4015], ["write", 4052], ["writing", 4052], ["thesis", 4063], ["proposal", 4072], ["music", 4101], ["musics", 4101], ["mozart", 4144], ["far", 4164], ["day", 4192], ["days", 4192], ["find", 4203], ["finding", 4203], ["pigeonhole", 4229], ["receive", 4252], ["received", 4252], ["mail", 4262], ["three", 4270], ["piece", 4277], ["pieced", 4277], ["pieces", 4277]]
but gau might listen to the information if it came from me , because he 's already had dealings with me . '' `` and you were the one who begged him not to bring his fleet to roanoke , '' i said . `` it 's because of that we 've been attacked as little as we have . general gau said to me that neither he nor the conclave would retaliate against roanoke itself for what happened to the fleet . '' `` we were still attacked , '' i said . `` but not by the conclave itself , '' dad said . `` by someone else , testing our defenses . but if gau is assassinated , that guarantee dies with him . and then it 's open season on roanoke , and we 'll get hit , fast , because we 're where the conclave had its biggest defeat . we 're a symbol for the conclave , too . so we have to let general gau know he 's in danger . for our own sake . '' `` if you tell him this , you 'll be giving information to an enemy of the colonial union , '' i said . `` you 'll be a traitor . '' dad gave me a wry grin . `` trust me , zoe , '' he said . `` i 'm already neck-deep in trouble . '' `` and yes , general gau is an enemy of the colonial union . but i think he might be a friend to roanoke . right now , roanoke needs all the friends it can get , wherever it can get them . the ones we used to have are turning their backs on us . we 're going out to this new one , hat in hand . '' `` and by we you mean me , '' i said . `` i need you to deliver this message for me . '' `` you do n't need me to do it , '' i said . mom could do it . it would be better from either of you . '' `` neither jane nor i can leave roanoke , zoe . the colonial union is watching us . and even if we could , we ca n't leave because we belong here with the colonists . we 're their leaders . whatever happens to them happens to us too . we made a promise to them and we 're going to stay and defend this colony , no matter what happens . `` so we ca n't go . `` but you can , and secretly , '' dad said . `` the obin already want to take you off roanoke . the colonial union will allow it because it 's part of their treaty with the obin , and as long as jane and i stay here , it wo n't raise an eyebrow . the obin are technically neutral in the fight between the conclave and the colonial union ; an obin ship will be able to get to general gau 's headquarters where a ship from the colonial union could n't . '' `` so send hickory and dickory , '' i said . `` or just have the obin send a skip drone to general gau . '' `` it wo n't work , '' dad said . `` the obin are not going to jeopardize their relationship with the colonial union to pass messages for me . the only reason they 're doing this at all is because i 'm agreeing to let them take you off roanoke . i 'm using the only piece of leverage i have with the obin , zoe . general gau has to know that i believe the information i 'm sending him is good . that i 'm not just being a pawn again in a larger colonial union game . i need to give him a token of my sincerity , zoe . something that proves that i have as much to risk in sending him this information as he has in receiving it . even if i or jane could go ourselves , general gau would have no reason to trust what we say to him , because he knows both jane and i were soldiers and are leaders . he knows we would be willing to sacrifice ourselves for our colony . but he also knows that i 'm not willing to sacrifice my only daughter . and neither is jane . `` so you see , zoe . you 're the only one who can get to general gau , deliver the message , and be believed . not me , not jane , not hickory and dickory . deliver the message , and we might still find a way to save roanoke . it 's a small chance . but right now it 's the only one we 've got . '' i sat there for a few minutes , taking in what dad asked of me . `` you know if hickory and dickory take me off roanoke , they 're not going to want to bring me back , '' i said , finally . `` i 'm pretty sure of it , '' dad said . `` you 're asking me to leave , '' i said . `` you 're asking me to accept that i might not ever see any of you again .	[["gau", 7], ["may", 13], ["mays", 13], ["mayest", 13], ["might", 13], ["listen", 20], ["listens", 20], ["information", 39], ["come", 50], ["came", 50], ["already", 82], ["dealing", 95], ["dealings", 95], ["beg", 143], ["bring", 160], ["fleet", 170], ["fleeting", 170], ["roanoke", 181], ["say", 193], ["sayest", 193], ["said", 193], ["attack", 241], ["attacked", 241], ["little", 251], ["general", 272], ["neither", 300], ["conclave", 320], ["retaliate", 336], ["retaliated", 336], ["happen", 377], ["happened", 377], ["still", 412], ["dad", 478], ["else", 504], ["test", 514], ["defense", 527], ["defenses", 527], ["assassinate", 556], ["assassinates", 556], ["assassinated", 556], ["guarantee", 573], ["die", 578], ["dies", 578], ["open", 609], ["season", 616], ["seasoning", 616], ["seasonest", 616], ["get", 644], ["hit", 648], ["fast", 655], ["big", 707], ["bigs", 707], ["biggest", 707], ["defeat", 714], ["defeatest", 714], ["symbol", 732], ["let", 775], ["lets", 775], ["know", 792], ["knowest", 792], ["danger", 808], ["sake", 827], ["sakes", 827], ["tell", 847], ["give", 876], ["giving", 876], ["enemy", 900], ["colonial", 916], ["union", 922], ["traitor", 960], ["give", 974], ["gave", 974], ["wry", 983], ["grin", 988], ["trust", 999], ["zoe", 1008], ["neck", 1044], ["necked", 1044], ["deep", 1049], ["deeply", 1049], ["trouble", 1060], ["troubling", 1060], ["yes", 1076], ["think", 1138], ["thinkest", 1138], ["friend", 1159], ["right", 1178], ["rightest", 1178], ["need", 1198], ["needest", 1198], ["needs", 1198], ["friend", 1214], ["friends", 1214], ["wherever", 1236], ["use", 1271], ["used", 1271], ["turn", 1291], ["turning", 1291], ["back", 1303], ["backs", 1303], ["go", 1324], ["goest", 1324], ["going", 1324], ["new", 1340], ["hat", 1350], ["hatting", 1350], ["hand", 1358], ["mean", 1385], ["meanest", 1385], ["need", 1412], ["needest", 1412], ["deliver", 1427], ["message", 1440], ["mom", 1501], ["moms", 1501], ["well", 1534], ["wells", 1534], ["either", 1546], ["jane", 1574], ["janes", 1574], ["left", 1590], ["leave", 1590], ["watch", 1637], ["watching", 1637], ["even", 1651], ["evens", 1651], ["ca", 1671], ["cas", 1671], ["belong", 1699], ["belonged", 1699], ["belongest", 1699], ["colonist", 1723], ["colonists", 1723], ["leader", 1746], ["leaders", 1746], ["whatever", 1757], ["happen", 1765], ["happens", 1765], ["promise", 1811], ["stay", 1844], ["defend", 1855], ["colony", 1867], ["matter", 1879], ["mattering", 1879], ["go", 1913], ["goest", 1913], ["secretly", 1945], ["take", 1994], ["allow", 2042], ["part", 2064], ["parting", 2064], ["treaty", 2080], ["long", 2108], ["longs", 2108], ["wo", 2140], ["raise", 2150], ["eyebrow", 2161], ["technically", 2188], ["neutral", 2196], ["fight", 2209], ["fightest", 2209], ["ship", 2268], ["able", 2281], ["abled", 2281], ["send", 2382], ["hickory", 2390], ["hickories", 2390], ["skip", 2453], ["skips", 2453], ["skipped", 2453], ["drone", 2459], ["droning", 2459], ["work", 2497], ["wrought", 2497], ["jeopardize", 2553], ["jeopardized", 2553], ["jeopardizes", 2553], ["relationship", 2572], ["pass", 2604], ["message", 2613], ["messages", 2613], ["reason", 2638], ["reasonest", 2638], ["agree", 2690], ["agreeing", 2690], ["use", 2736], ["using", 2736], ["piece", 2751], ["pieced", 2751], ["leverage", 2763], ["leveraged", 2763], ["believe", 2831], ["send", 2860], ["sending", 2860], ["good", 2872], ["pawn", 2906], ["large", 2924], ["larger", 2924], ["game", 2944], ["give", 2961], ["token", 2973], ["sincerity", 2989], ["prof", 3019], ["prove", 3019], ["proves", 3019], ["much", 3039], ["risk", 3047], ["riskest", 3047], ["receive", 3102], ["receiving", 3102], ["say", 3200], ["sayest", 3200], ["know", 3226], ["knowest", 3226], ["knows", 3226], ["soldier", 3256], ["soldiered", 3256], ["soldiers", 3256], ["willing", 3303], ["sacrifice", 3316], ["also", 3355], ["daughter", 3413], ["see", 3451], ["believe", 3547], ["believed", 3547], ["find", 3641], ["way", 3647], ["ways", 3647], ["save", 3655], ["small", 3679], ["chance", 3686], ["chanced", 3686], ["chancing", 3686], ["get", 3732], ["got", 3732], ["sat", 3743], ["sit", 3743], ["minute", 3767], ["minutes", 3767], ["take", 3776], ["taking", 3776], ["ask", 3794], ["asked", 3794], ["back", 3903], ["finally", 3925], ["pretty", 3942], ["prettiest", 3942], ["sure", 3947], ["ask", 3987], ["asking", 3987], ["accept", 4044], ["ever", 4066], ["everest", 4066]]
`` gee , i guess not . '' `` he 's writing a book about cops and he never heard of me ? he never heard of oliver wendell weeks ! '' `` oh , come on , ollie , relax . this is just another thomas harris ripoff serial-killer novel . `` does this fuckin guy live on mars , he never heard of me ? '' `` he lives in ireland , i told you . '' `` where in ireland ? in some booth in a pub ? in some stone hut by the side of the road ? in some fuckin smelly bogl '' `` gee , i 'm sorry i even mentioned it . '' fat ollie ... '' `` not him , '' ollie said . `` the writer . the fuckin writerl '' `` i 'll tell you the truth , '' meyer said , grinning , `` i 've already forgotten it . '' the two men met in a bar at five that afternoon . both were officially off duty . carella ordered a beer . ollie ordered a harvey wallbanger . `` i told you on the phone . '' `` some girl got stabbed ... '' `` black girl named althea cleary . eight times , according to the me . knife was still in her chest . weapon of convenience . matches the set in her kitchen . thing that made me think of you was blaney telling me ... '' `` which blaney ? '' how many blaneys are there ? '' `` well , this was one of them , '' ollie said . `` he told me the girl had maybe been doped . with guess what ? '' `` yeah , '' ollie said . `` rohypnol ? '' `` rohypnol . hey , bartender ! '' `` excuse me , but did you put any vodka in this fuckin drink ? '' `` i put vodka in it , '' the bartender said . `` cause what i can do , i can take it down the police lab , we 'll run some toxicological tests on it , see if there 's any alcohol in it at all . '' `` everything 's in it supposed to be in it , '' the bartender said . `` that 's a good strong drink you got there . '' `` then why n't you make me another one just like it , on the house this time , it 's so fuckin good . '' `` why on the house ? '' `` cause your toilet 's leakin and your bathroom window 's painted shut , '' ollie said . `` those are both violations . '' which they were n't . `` you 're sure she was doped ? '' `` according to blaney . '' `` and he 's sure it was roofers ? '' `` what you 're suggesting is a link to my case . '' `` by george , i think you 've got it . '' `` you 're saying because they were both doped ... '' `` yep . '' `` ... and later murdered , there 's a link . '' `` which do n't seem like too extravagant a surmise . '' `` i think it 's a very far reach , ollie . '' `` here 's your wallbanger , '' the bartender said , and banged it down on the bar . ollie shoved his chair away from the table and walked over to pick it up . watching him , carella thought he moved surprisingly fast for a fat man . ollie lifted the glass , sipped at it , smacked his lips , said , `` excellent , my good fellow , truly superior , '' and came back to the table . `` it ai n't a far reach at all , '' he told carella . you 're saying the same person who hanged my guy may have stabbed your girl . '' `` i 'm saying there 's a pattern here . in police work , we call it an m.o . '' `` happy to inform , '' ollie said , and raised his glass in a silent toast , and drank . `` there ai n't no vodka in this one , either , '' he said and looked into the glass . carella was thinking . `` do you have any evidence at all that allison cleary ... `` althea . '' `` ... knew john bridges ? '' but they could have met . '' `` guy 's up from houston , right ? out on the town , from what it appears , am i right ? with a little help from his friends , he does a hanging , then goes out to play some cards on the weekend . meets our little faggot friend harpo , introduces him to his friends , too , here , pal , take these with you , they 'll help your sex life , tee hee . meaning , if harpo is ever bisexually inclined , he can drop a few tabs in a young lady 's drink , induce her to slobber the johnson .	[["gee", 6], ["gees", 6], ["guess", 16], ["write", 42], ["writing", 42], ["book", 49], ["cop", 60], ["copest", 60], ["copped", 60], ["cops", 60], ["never", 73], ["hear", 79], ["hears", 79], ["heard", 79], ["oliver", 112], ["wendell", 120], ["week", 126], ["weeks", 126], ["oh", 137], ["come", 144], ["ollie", 155], ["ollies", 155], ["relax", 163], ["relaxed", 163], ["another", 186], ["thomas", 193], ["harris", 200], ["ripoff", 207], ["ripoffs", 207], ["serial", 214], ["killer", 221], ["killers", 221], ["novel", 227], ["fuckin", 249], ["guy", 253], ["live", 258], ["live", 306], ["ireland", 317], ["tell", 326], ["told", 326], ["booth", 371], ["pub", 380], ["pubbing", 380], ["stone", 396], ["stoning", 396], ["hut", 400], ["huts", 400], ["side", 412], ["sidest", 412], ["road", 424], ["smelly", 448], ["sorry", 476], ["even", 483], ["evens", 483], ["mention", 493], ["mentioned", 493], ["fat", 505], ["fattest", 505], ["say", 545], ["sayest", 545], ["said", 545], ["writer", 561], ["tell", 599], ["truth", 613], ["meyer", 624], ["grin", 640], ["already", 659], ["forget", 669], ["forgot", 669], ["forgotten", 669], ["two", 685], ["twos", 685], ["man", 689], ["mans", 689], ["manned", 689], ["men", 689], ["meet", 693], ["meeted", 693], ["met", 693], ["bar", 702], ["five", 710], ["fived", 710], ["afternoon", 725], ["officially", 748], ["duty", 757], ["order", 775], ["orderest", 775], ["ordered", 775], ["beer", 782], ["harvey", 807], ["phone", 847], ["girl", 865], ["get", 869], ["got", 869], ["stab", 877], ["stabs", 877], ["stabbed", 877], ["black", 893], ["name", 904], ["named", 904], ["althea", 911], ["cleary", 918], ["eight", 926], ["time", 932], ["times", 932], ["accord", 944], ["according", 944], ["knife", 962], ["knifes", 962], ["still", 972], ["chest", 985], ["weapon", 994], ["convenience", 1009], ["match", 1019], ["matching", 1019], ["matches", 1019], ["set", 1027], ["kitchen", 1042], ["kitchens", 1042], ["thing", 1050], ["think", 1069], ["thinkest", 1069], ["tell", 1095], ["telling", 1095], ["many", 1135], ["well", 1166], ["wells", 1166], ["maybe", 1240], ["dope", 1251], ["doped", 1251], ["yeah", 1282], ["rohypnol", 1312], ["hey", 1335], ["bartender", 1347], ["excuse", 1362], ["put", 1383], ["vodka", 1393], ["drank", 1414], ["drink", 1414], ["drinking", 1414], ["cause", 1475], ["take", 1502], ["police", 1521], ["lab", 1525], ["labs", 1525], ["run", 1538], ["toxicological", 1557], ["test", 1563], ["tests", 1563], ["see", 1575], ["alcohol", 1599], ["everything", 1631], ["suppose", 1649], ["supposed", 1649], ["good", 1705], ["strong", 1712], ["like", 1787], ["house", 1805], ["time", 1815], ["toilet", 1889], ["toiletest", 1889], ["bathroom", 1917], ["window", 1924], ["windows", 1924], ["paint", 1935], ["painted", 1935], ["shut", 1940], ["violation", 1987], ["violations", 1987], ["sure", 2030], ["roofer", 2110], ["roofers", 2110], ["suggest", 2142], ["suggesting", 2142], ["link", 2152], ["case", 2163], ["george", 2181], ["say", 2229], ["sayest", 2229], ["saying", 2229], ["yep", 2272], ["later", 2294], ["murder", 2303], ["murderest", 2303], ["murdered", 2303], ["seem", 2347], ["seeming", 2347], ["extravagant", 2368], ["surmise", 2378], ["far", 2411], ["reach", 2417], ["bang", 2494], ["banged", 2494], ["shove", 2528], ["shoved", 2528], ["chair", 2538], ["chairing", 2538], ["away", 2543], ["table", 2558], ["tabled", 2558], ["tabling", 2558], ["walk", 2569], ["walked", 2569], ["pick", 2582], ["watch", 2599], ["watching", 2599], ["think", 2621], ["thinkest", 2621], ["thought", 2621], ["move", 2630], ["moved", 2630], ["surprisingly", 2643], ["fast", 2648], ["man", 2662], ["mans", 2662], ["manned", 2662], ["lift", 2677], ["lifted", 2677], ["glass", 2687], ["sip", 2696], ["sipped", 2696], ["smack", 2712], ["smacked", 2712], ["lip", 2721], ["lipped", 2721], ["lips", 2721], ["excellent", 2743], ["fellow", 2760], ["truly", 2768], ["superior", 2777], ["come", 2791], ["came", 2791], ["back", 2796], ["ai", 2820], ["person", 2897], ["hung", 2908], ["hang", 2908], ["hangs", 2908], ["hanged", 2908], ["may", 2919], ["mays", 2919], ["mayest", 2919], ["pattern", 2981], ["work", 3003], ["wrought", 3003], ["call", 3013], ["happy", 3037], ["inform", 3047], ["informs", 3047], ["raise", 3076], ["raised", 3076], ["silent", 3098], ["toast", 3104], ["drank", 3116], ["either", 3164], ["look", 3188], ["looked", 3188], ["think", 3226], ["thinkest", 3226], ["thinking", 3226], ["evidence", 3256], ["allison", 3276], ["know", 3314], ["knowest", 3314], ["knew", 3314], ["john", 3319], ["houston", 3387], ["right", 3395], ["rightest", 3395], ["town", 3413], ["appear", 3436], ["appears", 3436], ["little", 3465], ["help", 3470], ["helpest", 3470], ["friend", 3487], ["friends", 3487], ["hanging", 3507], ["go", 3519], ["goest", 3519], ["goes", 3519], ["play", 3531], ["playest", 3531], ["card", 3542], ["cards", 3542], ["weekend", 3557], ["meet", 3565], ["meeted", 3565], ["meets", 3565], ["faggot", 3583], ["faggoting", 3583], ["friend", 3590], ["harpo", 3596], ["introduce", 3609], ["introduces", 3609], ["pal", 3647], ["palling", 3647], ["sex", 3694], ["life", 3699], ["lifes", 3699], ["tee", 3705], ["hee", 3709], ["meaning", 3719], ["ever", 3738], ["everest", 3738], ["bisexually", 3749], ["drop", 3772], ["tab", 3783], ["tabs", 3783], ["tabbed", 3783], ["young", 3794], ["youngest", 3794], ["lady", 3799], ["induce", 3817], ["slobber", 3832], ["johnson", 3844]]
pretending that i was tying my shoe lace , i slipped the pain pills into my coffee and set it back on the table after taking a sip . so what should we do about the next video ? luke asked as we were enjoying the sights of the people running in and out of the coffee shop . im totally down for the one that bryn wrote , tyler suggested . straight from the heart ? its heavier than you were young music wise , but we dont want the next single to be just like the first , am i right ? tyler looked over at me , as if he was challenging me to fight his opinion . i usually did . i think its a good idea , luke replied . we should get the cameras and record it ourselves , or get a hold of richard marx again and do like a live video . hell yeah , this is perfect . vince rubbed his hands together . what do you think , pelton ? lets talk to b after they get back from shopping and get it figured out . we could shoot it at one of the shows next week if we plan it right , i replied , and i was already getting anxious for next week . i knew bryn would freak out knowing the song she had written would be the next single and music video . actually shed probably tell me to shut up and that it wasnt true . or start picking apart the lyrics and complain about them . regardless , it was going to happen and it was going to be fucking brilliant . *** bryn i cant believe we just heard that ! gina shouted as we exited the store , about a dozen bags of clothes , boots and hats between the three of us . that bitch has nerve its okay , i said as calmly as i could . psh , who was i thinking ? i had just overheard my now enemy saying that she was going to try to seduce cale tonight . i replayed the conversation over and over in my head as we headed back to meet up with the guys since cale texted me to let us know they had been spotted at the coffee shop . what do you think of this outfit ? bethany asked me as she did a spin in front of the gigantic mirror we had in our dressing room . she had on a pink and white plaid button down shirt , a pink cami underneath , light blue jeans with holes in the knees and shiny matching pink cowgirl boots . i feel like i could go live on a farm now . but of course im supposed to say that ! i giggled , taking a look in the mirror at my outfit similar to her and ginas . my green plaid button down t-shirt blended in nicely with my green eyes , and i had managed to find a pair of all black boots with green streaks on them , completing my outfit that i was dead set on wearing tonight . we continued spinning around and cracking jokes at each other until i heard a familiar laugh coming from another dressing room . we instantly grew quiet . you really need to chill , kallie . she or her friends havent done a damn thing to you . i recognized the other voice as her sister krystal . the three of us looked from one to the other and stood as close to the closed curtain as we could , trying not to blow our cover . shes weak and pathetic , sis . seriously , why are you taking her side ? cale will dump her ass so fast itll make her head spin . its just a matter of time , and hell get tired of her good girl act that bitch , gina spat , and immediately covered her mouth . was this girl really that relentless in trying to win my boyfriend ? move onto someone else , kallie , and dont try to steal other girls boyfriends , krystal scolded . i knew i liked this girl for a reason ! single or not , hes who i want so nothing is going to stand in my path . i just need a piece of dirt on her to expose to the world and her little career with everlasting will be history and boom ! cale wont have a choice but to end up with me i rolled my eyes . she was way too desperate . that doesnt even make any sense ! just please , though . promise me at least until the tour is done that you leave bryn and her friends alone . i like them and i hate having tension on the road . oh , sister you are so naive sometimes , i swear , kallie groaned . but im buying this outfit . lets get out of here and go practice with the boys or something to take my mind of this shit . im sorry , bryn , but she had no right to even try to stake her claim . it just makes her look like a home wrecker , bethany growled in frustration . the everlasting tour bus now just down the block and in our sight . someone just needs to slap the shit out of her and be done with it . i just shook my head and tried not to let kallies words get to me . i still had no idea why she was out to get me or why she despised everything about me , but i wasnt going to let it affect my performance .	[["pretend", 10], ["pretendest", 10], ["pretending", 10], ["tie", 27], ["tying", 27], ["tieing", 27], ["shoe", 35], ["shoed", 35], ["lace", 40], ["slip", 52], ["slipped", 52], ["pain", 61], ["pill", 67], ["pills", 67], ["coffee", 82], ["set", 90], ["back", 98], ["table", 111], ["tabled", 111], ["tabling", 111], ["take", 124], ["taking", 124], ["sip", 130], ["next", 168], ["video", 174], ["luke", 181], ["ask", 187], ["asked", 187], ["enjoy", 207], ["enjoyed", 207], ["enjoying", 207], ["sight", 218], ["sighted", 218], ["sights", 218], ["people", 232], ["run", 240], ["running", 240], ["shop", 270], ["totally", 283], ["bryn", 310], ["write", 316], ["writing", 316], ["wrote", 316], ["suggest", 334], ["suggested", 334], ["straight", 345], ["heart", 360], ["heavy", 374], ["heavies", 374], ["heavier", 374], ["young", 394], ["youngest", 394], ["music", 400], ["musics", 400], ["wise", 405], ["single", 440], ["like", 456], ["first", 466], ["firstest", 466], ["right", 479], ["rightest", 479], ["look", 494], ["looked", 494], ["challenge", 532], ["challenging", 532], ["fight", 544], ["fightest", 544], ["opinion", 556], ["usually", 568], ["think", 582], ["thinkest", 582], ["good", 593], ["idea", 598], ["reply", 613], ["replied", 613], ["get", 629], ["camera", 641], ["cameras", 641], ["record", 652], ["hold", 681], ["richard", 692], ["richards", 692], ["marx", 697], ["live", 722], ["hell", 735], ["hells", 735], ["yeah", 740], ["perfect", 758], ["perfectest", 758], ["vince", 766], ["rub", 773], ["rubbed", 773], ["hand", 783], ["hands", 783], ["together", 792], ["let", 828], ["lets", 828], ["talk", 833], ["b", 838], ["shopping", 872], ["figure", 891], ["figured", 891], ["shoot", 912], ["shooted", 912], ["show", 935], ["shows", 935], ["week", 945], ["plan", 956], ["already", 997], ["get", 1005], ["getting", 1005], ["anxious", 1013], ["anxiousest", 1013], ["know", 1036], ["knowest", 1036], ["knew", 1036], ["freak", 1053], ["freaking", 1053], ["know", 1065], ["knowest", 1065], ["knowing", 1065], ["song", 1074], ["write", 1090], ["writing", 1090], ["written", 1090], ["shed", 1147], ["probably", 1156], ["tell", 1161], ["shut", 1172], ["true", 1198], ["start", 1209], ["pick", 1217], ["picking", 1217], ["apart", 1223], ["lyric", 1234], ["lyrics", 1234], ["complain", 1247], ["regardless", 1271], ["go", 1286], ["goest", 1286], ["going", 1286], ["happen", 1296], ["fuck", 1327], ["fucking", 1327], ["brilliant", 1337], ["believe", 1363], ["hear", 1377], ["hears", 1377], ["heard", 1377], ["gina", 1389], ["ginas", 1389], ["shout", 1397], ["shouted", 1397], ["exit", 1410], ["exited", 1410], ["store", 1420], ["dozen", 1436], ["bag", 1441], ["bagged", 1441], ["bagging", 1441], ["bags", 1441], ["clad", 1452], ["clothe", 1452], ["clothes", 1452], ["boot", 1460], ["boots", 1460], ["hat", 1469], ["hatting", 1469], ["hats", 1469], ["three", 1487], ["bitch", 1506], ["nerve", 1516], ["okay", 1525], ["say", 1534], ["sayest", 1534], ["said", 1534], ["calmly", 1544], ["think", 1582], ["thinkest", 1582], ["thinking", 1582], ["overhear", 1605], ["overhearing", 1605], ["enemy", 1618], ["say", 1625], ["sayest", 1625], ["saying", 1625], ["try", 1651], ["tryed", 1651], ["seduce", 1661], ["seducing", 1661], ["tonight", 1674], ["replay", 1687], ["replays", 1687], ["conversation", 1704], ["head", 1729], ["head", 1742], ["headed", 1742], ["meet", 1755], ["meeted", 1755], ["guy", 1772], ["guys", 1772], ["since", 1778], ["texted", 1790], ["texting", 1790], ["let", 1800], ["lets", 1800], ["know", 1808], ["knowest", 1808], ["spot", 1830], ["spotted", 1830], ["outfit", 1884], ["bethany", 1894], ["spun", 1921], ["spin", 1921], ["front", 1930], ["gigantic", 1946], ["mirror", 1953], ["dressing", 1976], ["room", 1981], ["roomed", 1981], ["pink", 2001], ["white", 2011], ["plaid", 2017], ["button", 2024], ["buttoning", 2024], ["shirt", 2035], ["cami", 2049], ["underneath", 2060], ["lit", 2068], ["light", 2068], ["blue", 2073], ["hole", 2090], ["holes", 2090], ["knee", 2103], ["knees", 2103], ["shiny", 2113], ["shinier", 2113], ["match", 2122], ["matching", 2122], ["cowgirl", 2135], ["cowgirls", 2135], ["feel", 2150], ["go", 2166], ["goest", 2166], ["farm", 2181], ["farming", 2181], ["course", 2201], ["suppose", 2213], ["supposed", 2213], ["say", 2220], ["sayest", 2220], ["giggle", 2237], ["giggled", 2237], ["look", 2253], ["similar", 2288], ["gina", 2305], ["ginas", 2305], ["green", 2316], ["greens", 2316], ["blend", 2350], ["blending", 2350], ["blendest", 2350], ["blended", 2350], ["nicely", 2360], ["eye", 2379], ["eyed", 2379], ["eyes", 2379], ["manage", 2399], ["managed", 2399], ["find", 2407], ["pair", 2414], ["pairs", 2414], ["black", 2427], ["streak", 2452], ["streaks", 2452], ["streaked", 2452], ["complete", 2473], ["dead", 2499], ["wear", 2514], ["wearing", 2514], ["continue", 2537], ["continued", 2537], ["spun", 2546], ["spin", 2546], ["spinning", 2546], ["around", 2553], ["crack", 2566], ["cracking", 2566], ["joke", 2572], ["jokes", 2572], ["familiar", 2611], ["laugh", 2617], ["come", 2624], ["coming", 2624], ["another", 2637], ["instantly", 2666], ["grow", 2671], ["growest", 2671], ["grew", 2671], ["quiet", 2677], ["really", 2690], ["need", 2695], ["needest", 2695], ["chill", 2704], ["chills", 2704], ["chilling", 2704], ["friend", 2734], ["friends", 2734], ["damn", 2753], ["damned", 2753], ["thing", 2759], ["recognize", 2781], ["recognized", 2781], ["voice", 2797], ["sister", 2811], ["krystal", 2819], ["stood", 2876], ["stand", 2876], ["standest", 2876], ["close", 2885], ["curtain", 2907], ["curtaining", 2907], ["try", 2928], ["tryed", 2928], ["trying", 2928], ["blew", 2940], ["blow", 2940], ["blowest", 2940], ["cover", 2950], ["weak", 2962], ["pathetic", 2975], ["sis", 2981], ["seriously", 2993], ["side", 3023], ["sidest", 3023], ["dump", 3040], ["ass", 3048], ["fast", 3056], ["matter", 3100], ["mattering", 3100], ["time", 3108], ["tired", 3129], ["girl", 3146], ["act", 3150], ["acted", 3150], ["spat", 3173], ["immediately", 3191], ["cover", 3199], ["covered", 3199], ["mouth", 3209], ["mouthed", 3209], ["relentless", 3248], ["win", 3265], ["boyfriend", 3278], ["move", 3285], ["onto", 3290], ["ontos", 3290], ["else", 3303], ["steal", 3336], ["stole", 3336], ["girl", 3348], ["girls", 3348], ["boyfriend", 3359], ["boyfriends", 3359], ["scold", 3377], ["scolds", 3377], ["scolded", 3377], ["like", 3394], ["liked", 3394], ["reason", 3417], ["reasonest", 3417], ["nothing", 3461], ["stood", 3479], ["stand", 3479], ["standest", 3479], ["path", 3490], ["piece", 3512], ["pieced", 3512], ["dirt", 3520], ["expose", 3537], ["world", 3550], ["little", 3565], ["career", 3572], ["history", 3605], ["boom", 3614], ["boomed", 3614], ["choice", 3640], ["end", 3651], ["ends", 3651], ["endest", 3651], ["roll", 3671], ["rolled", 3671], ["way", 3693], ["ways", 3693], ["desperate", 3707], ["even", 3726], ["evens", 3726], ["sense", 3741], ["please", 3755], ["though", 3764], ["promise", 3774], ["least", 3786], ["leastest", 3786], ["tour", 3801], ["left", 3824], ["leave", 3824], ["alone", 3851], ["hateed", 3876], ["tension", 3891], ["road", 3903], ["oh", 3908], ["naive", 3934], ["swear", 3954], ["sweared", 3954], ["groan", 3971], ["groans", 3971], ["groanest", 3971], ["groaning", 3971], ["groaned", 3971], ["buy", 3987], ["buyed", 3987], ["buying", 3987], ["practice", 4038], ["boy", 4052], ["boys", 4052], ["take", 4073], ["mind", 4081], ["minding", 4081], ["shit", 4094], ["sorry", 4105], ["stake", 4156], ["claim", 4166], ["home", 4203], ["homing", 4203], ["wrecker", 4211], ["growl", 4229], ["growls", 4229], ["growled", 4229], ["frustration", 4244], ["bus", 4271], ["block", 4295], ["blocks", 4295], ["sight", 4312], ["sighted", 4312], ["need", 4333], ["needest", 4333], ["needs", 4333], ["slap", 4341], ["slaps", 4341], ["slapped", 4341], ["shake", 4396], ["shook", 4396], ["try", 4414], ["tryed", 4414], ["tried", 4414], ["word", 4439], ["words", 4439], ["still", 4459], ["despise", 4517], ["despised", 4517], ["everything", 4528], ["affect", 4574], ["performance", 4589]]
`` i heard , '' jared said , pressing his eyebrows together . he held out his coat again , but i took another step back . `` y-you l-listened t-t-to her ! '' `` i did n't listen to her ! if she fired me it would make it harder for me to protect you . now , please get in the car ! '' `` h-how would it make it h-h-harder if you 're with me ? '' `` we can talk about this when you 're out of the rain ! '' `` cynthia controls our funding ! '' jared said in a desperate tone . `` she funds our surveil ance , our weapons ... everything . i could stil protect you , but not as wel . i could n't risk it ! '' `` so you 're j-just going to leave me , we 're g-going b-back to the way things were so you c-can buy more microphones and b-bul ets ? '' you 're too important not to use the best means available , nina . i thought if i figured out a way for us ... i was trying to figure something out . '' `` you 're j-just s-saying that to g-g-get me to go back there ! '' `` i would n't do that , '' jared said . he lifted his coat and i took another step back . his jaws tensed . `` i made a mistake ! i did n't want to hurt you ! i just needed some time to fix the mess i 've made ! '' i tried to turn the corners of my mouth up into somewhat of a smile . `` i th-thought you did n't make m-mistakes . '' with a desperate expression , jared took a step toward me , groaning when i took another step back . `` do n't make me do this , nina . do n't make me force you . please get in the car ! '' `` i 'm not going b-back there , '' i sputtered . the rain poured down jared 's face and streamed from his chin . `` i was n't going to take you ... , '' he sighed , `` i want you home with me ! '' i watched him for a moment , trying to read his eyes . `` i would n't lie to you , '' he said , reaching for me . jared wasted no time wrapping me in his coat , but it was already soaked through . he lifted me into his arms and in the next second i was in his car . jumping behind the wheel , jared cranked up the heater and then rubbed my arms with both hands . `` jesus , nina , your lips are blue . '' he raced down streets that seemed more like rivers . i had just closed my eyes when he pul ed to the curb in front of the loft . `` stay awake , nina . jared took the steps three at a time , unlocked his door and skipped more steps to the loft . he held me in one arm while he turned on the shower , and the steam immediately fil ed the room . he lifted my stiff body into the shower and held me against him . i cried out as the water burned my icy skin . after a while , the quivering turned less violent . once i was able to stand alone , jared adjusted the temperature to a hotter setting . jared grimaced , his eyes glowing steel blue . `` let 's just get your temp up . '' he pul ed the gauze from my hand and inspected my wound , wincing before glaring down at me . i watched as he gently scrubbed the festering cut with a washcloth . `` you should have gotten stitches for this , '' he grumbled . his jaw tensed as he rinsed the soap away . i asked , worried that it was resentment in his eyes instead of concern . `` everything , nina . i leave you alone for a week and you 've got a deep , infected cut in your hand , you nearly broke your arm when you fel off the chair , and you almost froze to death ... or drowned , i 'm not sure what would have happened first . '' you have every right to be mad . '' i 've made myself believe that when the time came , i would be better at making you happy than anyone else ... and look at you . i 've made your life worse . you 're worried i 'm angry with you ? you should hate me for what i 've done . '' i ran my aching fingers through his wavy , wet hair . `` i 've missed you , '' i whispered . his expression crumbled at my words . `` i 've been going crazy . when you found the mic , claire had to restrain me . it 's one thing to know you 're hurting ; it 's another to know i 'm causing it . '' i offered a weak grin . `` you 're going to have to find a new place to hide the microphone .	[["hear", 10], ["hears", 10], ["heard", 10], ["say", 26], ["sayest", 26], ["said", 26], ["press", 37], ["pressing", 37], ["eyebrow", 50], ["eyebrows", 50], ["together", 59], ["hold", 69], ["held", 69], ["coat", 82], ["take", 101], ["took", 101], ["another", 109], ["step", 114], ["back", 119], ["l", 132], ["listen", 141], ["listens", 141], ["listened", 141], ["listen", 177], ["listens", 177], ["fire", 199], ["fired", 199], ["hard", 226], ["protect", 244], ["protectest", 244], ["please", 263], ["get", 267], ["car", 278], ["h", 288], ["talk", 359], ["rain", 399], ["cynthia", 415], ["control", 424], ["controls", 424], ["funding", 436], ["desperate", 467], ["tone", 472], ["toned", 472], ["toning", 472], ["fund", 487], ["funds", 487], ["surveil", 499], ["ance", 504], ["weapon", 518], ["weapons", 518], ["everything", 533], ["wels", 577], ["risk", 596], ["riskest", 596], ["j", 620], ["jest", 620], ["go", 631], ["goest", 631], ["going", 631], ["left", 640], ["leave", 640], ["g", 654], ["b", 662], ["way", 678], ["ways", 678], ["thing", 685], ["things", 685], ["c", 699], ["cest", 699], ["buy", 707], ["buyed", 707], ["microphone", 724], ["microphones", 724], ["important", 765], ["use", 776], ["good", 785], ["best", 785], ["mean", 791], ["meanest", 791], ["means", 791], ["available", 801], ["nina", 808], ["think", 820], ["thought", 820], ["thinkest", 820], ["figure", 833], ["figured", 833], ["try", 867], ["tryed", 867], ["trying", 867], ["figure", 877], ["say", 923], ["sayest", 923], ["saying", 923], ["go", 948], ["goest", 948], ["lift", 1015], ["lifted", 1015], ["jaw", 1064], ["jaws", 1064], ["jawed", 1064], ["jawest", 1064], ["tense", 1071], ["tensed", 1071], ["mistake", 1093], ["mistook", 1093], ["mistaken", 1093], ["hurt", 1118], ["hurts", 1118], ["hurting", 1118], ["need", 1138], ["needest", 1138], ["needed", 1138], ["time", 1148], ["fix", 1155], ["fixes", 1155], ["mess", 1164], ["messed", 1164], ["messing", 1164], ["try", 1188], ["tryed", 1188], ["tried", 1188], ["turn", 1196], ["corner", 1208], ["corners", 1208], ["mouth", 1220], ["mouthed", 1220], ["somewhat", 1237], ["smile", 1248], ["th", 1258], ["mistake", 1294], ["mistook", 1294], ["mistaken", 1294], ["mistakes", 1294], ["expression", 1327], ["toward", 1354], ["groan", 1368], ["groans", 1368], ["groanest", 1368], ["groaning", 1368], ["force", 1456], ["sputter", 1537], ["sputtering", 1537], ["pour", 1555], ["poured", 1555], ["face", 1574], ["stream", 1587], ["streams", 1587], ["streamed", 1587], ["streaming", 1587], ["chin", 1601], ["take", 1630], ["sigh", 1653], ["sighest", 1653], ["sighed", 1653], ["home", 1674], ["homing", 1674], ["watch", 1697], ["watched", 1697], ["moment", 1714], ["read", 1731], ["reads", 1731], ["eye", 1740], ["eyed", 1740], ["eyes", 1740], ["lay", 1761], ["lie", 1761], ["lain", 1761], ["reach", 1792], ["reaching", 1792], ["waste", 1814], ["wasted", 1814], ["wrap", 1831], ["wraps", 1831], ["wrapping", 1831], ["already", 1867], ["soak", 1874], ["soaks", 1874], ["soaked", 1874], ["arm", 1911], ["arms", 1911], ["next", 1927], ["second", 1934], ["seconded", 1934], ["jump", 1961], ["jumps", 1961], ["jumping", 1961], ["behind", 1968], ["wheel", 1978], ["wheeled", 1978], ["jar", 1986], ["jared", 1986], ["jarred", 1986], ["jarring", 1986], ["crank", 1994], ["cranks", 1994], ["cranked", 1994], ["cranking", 1994], ["heater", 2008], ["rub", 2024], ["rubbed", 2024], ["hand", 2048], ["hands", 2048], ["jesus", 2059], ["lip", 2078], ["lipped", 2078], ["lips", 2078], ["blue", 2087], ["race", 2101], ["racing", 2101], ["raced", 2101], ["street", 2114], ["streets", 2114], ["seem", 2126], ["seeming", 2126], ["seemed", 2126], ["like", 2136], ["river", 2143], ["rivers", 2143], ["close", 2163], ["closed", 2163], ["pul", 2183], ["puli", 2183], ["ed", 2186], ["curb", 2198], ["curbs", 2198], ["curbed", 2198], ["curbest", 2198], ["front", 2207], ["loft", 2219], ["lofts", 2219], ["stay", 2229], ["awoke", 2235], ["awake", 2235], ["step", 2265], ["steps", 2265], ["three", 2271], ["unlock", 2292], ["unlocking", 2292], ["unlockest", 2292], ["door", 2301], ["skip", 2313], ["skips", 2313], ["skipped", 2313], ["arm", 2360], ["turn", 2376], ["turned", 2376], ["shower", 2390], ["showered", 2390], ["showerest", 2390], ["steam", 2406], ["steams", 2406], ["steamed", 2406], ["steamest", 2406], ["immediately", 2418], ["fil", 2422], ["fils", 2422], ["room", 2434], ["roomed", 2434], ["stiff", 2455], ["body", 2460], ["bodied", 2460], ["cry", 2510], ["cried", 2510], ["water", 2527], ["burn", 2534], ["burns", 2534], ["burned", 2534], ["icy", 2541], ["skin", 2546], ["less", 2590], ["violent", 2598], ["able", 2616], ["abled", 2616], ["stood", 2625], ["stand", 2625], ["standest", 2625], ["alone", 2631], ["adjust", 2648], ["adjusted", 2648], ["temperature", 2664], ["hot", 2676], ["setting", 2684], ["glow", 2720], ["glowest", 2720], ["glowing", 2720], ["steel", 2726], ["let", 2740], ["lets", 2740], ["temp", 2762], ["tempest", 2762], ["gauze", 2790], ["gauzes", 2790], ["hand", 2803], ["inspect", 2817], ["inspectest", 2817], ["inspected", 2817], ["wind", 2826], ["wound", 2826], ["wounding", 2826], ["wince", 2836], ["wincing", 2836], ["glare", 2851], ["glaring", 2851], ["gently", 2887], ["scrub", 2896], ["scrubbed", 2896], ["fester", 2910], ["festering", 2910], ["cut", 2914], ["washcloth", 2931], ["get", 2959], ["gotten", 2959], ["stitch", 2968], ["stitches", 2968], ["grumble", 2994], ["grumbles", 2994], ["grumbled", 2994], ["jaw", 3004], ["jaws", 3004], ["jawed", 3004], ["jawest", 3004], ["rinse", 3024], ["rinsed", 3024], ["soap", 3033], ["soaps", 3033], ["away", 3038], ["ask", 3048], ["asked", 3048], ["worry", 3058], ["worried", 3058], ["resentment", 3081], ["instead", 3101], ["concern", 3112], ["concerned", 3112], ["concernest", 3112], ["week", 3166], ["get", 3182], ["got", 3182], ["deep", 3189], ["deeply", 3189], ["nearly", 3230], ["break", 3236], ["broke", 3236], ["chair", 3272], ["chairing", 3272], ["almost", 3289], ["froze", 3295], ["frozen", 3295], ["freeze", 3295], ["freezing", 3295], ["death", 3304], ["drown", 3319], ["drowns", 3319], ["drowned", 3319], ["sure", 3335], ["happen", 3360], ["happened", 3360], ["first", 3366], ["firstest", 3366], ["every", 3386], ["right", 3392], ["rightest", 3392], ["mad", 3402], ["mads", 3402], ["believe", 3433], ["come", 3457], ["came", 3457], ["well", 3477], ["wells", 3477], ["happy", 3497], ["anyone", 3509], ["else", 3514], ["look", 3527], ["life", 3557], ["lifes", 3557], ["bad", 3563], ["worse", 3563], ["angry", 3592], ["hate", 3619], ["hateed", 3619], ["run", 3653], ["ran", 3653], ["ache", 3663], ["ached", 3663], ["aching", 3663], ["finger", 3671], ["fingers", 3671], ["wavy", 3688], ["wet", 3694], ["hair", 3699], ["miss", 3717], ["missed", 3717], ["whisper", 3738], ["whispered", 3738], ["crumble", 3764], ["crumbles", 3764], ["crumbled", 3764], ["word", 3776], ["words", 3776], ["crazy", 3804], ["find", 3821], ["found", 3821], ["mic", 3829], ["claire", 3838], ["restrain", 3854], ["restrains", 3854], ["thing", 3875], ["know", 3883], ["knowest", 3883], ["hurt", 3899], ["hurts", 3899], ["hurting", 3899], ["cause", 3936], ["causing", 3936], ["offer", 3954], ["offered", 3954], ["weak", 3961], ["grin", 3966], ["find", 4001], ["new", 4007], ["place", 4013], ["hide", 4021], ["hides", 4021], ["microphone", 4036], ["microphones", 4036]]
you told me you were so afraid of not being what he needed , of disappointing him . '' serena 's eyes softened . i 've just decided not to let my fears ruin the best thing that 's ever happened to me . '' `` i wish i could be like you , '' julie said sadly . `` goddamn it , serena . `` that he 'll leave you ? '' serena asked gently . julie wavered for a moment , her breath coming out all shaky like she was a hair from crying . hated coming off like a weak-kneed , emotional twit . i 'm afraid he 'll wake up one morning and the very things that first attracted him to me will be the very things that turn him away . '' `` i 'm a bitch , serena . '' i 'm blunt , forceful , headstrong and confident . people often say they admire me , or they appreciate people who say it straight , who keep it real . and for a while they do , until all the new and shiny wears off and suddenly they do n't like me so much anymore . i become caustic and abrasive . the things they liked about me now turn them away . a strong , confident woman is sexy to them , but then they become intimidated by me and they think i 'm wearing the pants in the relationship . '' `` there is nothing wrong with you , '' serena said fiercely . `` other than the fact that you 've dated morons . the right man will love you , warts and all . he 'll love your independence . contrary to popular belief , men really do love women who can think for themselves . they love women who can be an equal in the relationship . '' `` very well said , serena mine , '' damon murmured . both women looked up to see damon standing across the living room , his eyes glowing with pride . `` i 'm sorry to interrupt , '' he said in julie 's direction . `` but not sorry i overheard . '' he walked closer and sat down in the armchair next to the couch . `` serena is right , julie . a woman who needs protecting , the helpless female persona , can be ... enticing . but beyond that first brush , that first shine of the relationship , it dulls really fast . a needy woman may appeal to the male ego , but a strong , independent woman is a treasure for the long haul . '' `` but you ... '' she cleared her throat uncomfortably . `` you can say what you like in front of me , '' he said gently . `` you like submissive women . '' she cast an apologetic look at serena because she did n't want her friend to think she thought she was wimpy . `` how can you say those things about a strong , independent woman when you crave submission ? '' damon 's eyes twinkled . `` serena is a strong , very independent woman in her own right . she chooses to submit to me . i have no desire for a doormat . for as long as serena is mine , i will always take care of her . however , i need to know she can take care of herself . '' julie 's eyes watered . `` do you know why i decided not to go back to the house ? '' both serena and damon gave her puzzled looks . `` i saw you that night . '' again she looked at serena in apology . `` you and damon in the common room . '' serena 's mouth formed an o. damon 's expression was no less perplexed . `` i 'm sorry if you were offended , julie . '' when i first saw what you were doing , i wanted to run over and kick your ass and then put my arms around serena . '' `` you 're a very loyal friend , '' damon said with a smile . `` you changed something in me that night . i decided i wanted a man who looked at me the way you looked at serena . '' `` ah , julie , '' serena murmured as she stroked a hand through julie 's hair . `` nathan looked at me like that , '' she choked out . `` that 's what scares me so much . if i thought he did n't really love me i could laugh it off and know that his infatuation would wear off and it would n't bother me because i 'd know from the beginning that it was n't real . but i ca n't stand the thought of him growing to hate me . '' a chill overtook her , and she shook uncontrollably . she rubbed her hands up her arms in an attempt to infuse some warmth . she hated the cold that had settled into her bones ever since she 'd run from the apartment . `` julie , i 'm going to be honest , '' damon said . `` i understood serena 's concerns about our relationship .	[["tell", 8], ["told", 8], ["afraid", 30], ["need", 58], ["needest", 58], ["needed", 58], ["disappoint", 77], ["disappointed", 77], ["serena", 93], ["eye", 101], ["eyed", 101], ["eyes", 101], ["soften", 110], ["softens", 110], ["softened", 110], ["decide", 131], ["decided", 131], ["let", 142], ["lets", 142], ["fear", 151], ["fearest", 151], ["fears", 151], ["ruin", 156], ["ruinest", 156], ["good", 165], ["best", 165], ["thing", 171], ["ever", 184], ["everest", 184], ["happen", 193], ["happened", 193], ["wish", 214], ["like", 230], ["julie", 245], ["say", 250], ["sayest", 250], ["said", 250], ["sadly", 256], ["goddamn", 269], ["left", 304], ["leave", 304], ["ask", 326], ["asked", 326], ["gently", 333], ["waver", 349], ["wavering", 349], ["wavered", 349], ["moment", 362], ["breath", 375], ["breathest", 375], ["come", 382], ["coming", 382], ["shaky", 396], ["hair", 416], ["cry", 428], ["crying", 428], ["hate", 436], ["hateed", 436], ["hated", 436], ["weak", 459], ["kneed", 465], ["emotional", 477], ["twit", 482], ["wake", 508], ["wakes", 508], ["woken", 508], ["morning", 523], ["thing", 543], ["things", 543], ["first", 554], ["firstest", 554], ["attract", 564], ["attractest", 564], ["attracted", 564], ["turn", 608], ["away", 617], ["bitch", 638], ["blunt", 663], ["blunted", 663], ["blunting", 663], ["forceful", 674], ["headstrong", 687], ["confident", 701], ["people", 710], ["often", 716], ["say", 720], ["sayest", 720], ["admire", 732], ["appreciate", 756], ["appreciates", 756], ["straight", 783], ["keep", 794], ["keepest", 794], ["reis", 802], ["real", 802], ["new", 848], ["shiny", 858], ["shinier", 858], ["wear", 864], ["wears", 864], ["suddenly", 881], ["much", 909], ["anymore", 917], ["become", 928], ["caustic", 936], ["abrasive", 949], ["like", 973], ["liked", 973], ["strong", 1012], ["woman", 1030], ["womans", 1030], ["sexy", 1038], ["think", 1102], ["thinkest", 1102], ["wear", 1115], ["wearing", 1115], ["pant", 1125], ["pants", 1125], ["relationship", 1145], ["nothing", 1170], ["wrong", 1176], ["fiercely", 1211], ["fact", 1236], ["moron", 1262], ["morons", 1262], ["right", 1274], ["rightest", 1274], ["man", 1278], ["mans", 1278], ["manned", 1278], ["love", 1288], ["wart", 1300], ["warts", 1300], ["independence", 1340], ["contrary", 1351], ["popular", 1362], ["belief", 1369], ["man", 1375], ["mans", 1375], ["manned", 1375], ["men", 1375], ["really", 1382], ["woman", 1396], ["womans", 1396], ["women", 1396], ["equal", 1463], ["well", 1501], ["wells", 1501], ["mine", 1520], ["damon", 1531], ["murmur", 1540], ["murmurest", 1540], ["murmured", 1540], ["look", 1560], ["looked", 1560], ["see", 1570], ["stood", 1585], ["stand", 1585], ["standest", 1585], ["standing", 1585], ["across", 1592], ["room", 1608], ["roomed", 1608], ["glow", 1627], ["glowest", 1627], ["glowing", 1627], ["pride", 1638], ["sorry", 1654], ["interrupt", 1667], ["interruptest", 1667], ["direction", 1702], ["overheard", 1733], ["walk", 1748], ["walked", 1748], ["close", 1755], ["closer", 1755], ["sat", 1763], ["sit", 1763], ["armchair", 1784], ["armchairs", 1784], ["next", 1789], ["couch", 1802], ["couchest", 1802], ["need", 1851], ["needest", 1851], ["needs", 1851], ["protect", 1862], ["protectest", 1862], ["protecting", 1862], ["helpless", 1877], ["female", 1884], ["persona", 1892], ["entice", 1914], ["enticing", 1914], ["beyond", 1927], ["brush", 1944], ["brushest", 1944], ["shine", 1963], ["shone", 1963], ["shined", 1963], ["dull", 1994], ["dulls", 1994], ["fast", 2006], ["needy", 2016], ["may", 2026], ["mays", 2026], ["mayest", 2026], ["appeal", 2033], ["male", 2045], ["males", 2045], ["ego", 2049], ["independent", 2078], ["treasure", 2098], ["long", 2111], ["longs", 2111], ["haul", 2116], ["hauls", 2116], ["clear", 2151], ["clearest", 2151], ["cleared", 2151], ["throat", 2162], ["uncomfortably", 2176], ["front", 2216], ["submissive", 2267], ["submissives", 2267], ["cast", 2287], ["casts", 2287], ["apologetic", 2301], ["apologetics", 2301], ["look", 2306], ["friend", 2352], ["think", 2373], ["thought", 2373], ["thinkest", 2373], ["wimpy", 2387], ["crave", 2471], ["craved", 2471], ["craving", 2471], ["submission", 2482], ["twinkle", 2510], ["twinkled", 2510], ["choose", 2590], ["chooses", 2590], ["submit", 2600], ["desire", 2625], ["doormat", 2639], ["always", 2687], ["take", 2692], ["care", 2697], ["however", 2714], ["need", 2723], ["needest", 2723], ["know", 2731], ["knowest", 2731], ["water", 2787], ["watered", 2787], ["go", 2828], ["goest", 2828], ["back", 2833], ["house", 2846], ["give", 2878], ["gave", 2878], ["puzzle", 2890], ["puzzled", 2890], ["look", 2896], ["looks", 2896], ["see", 2907], ["saw", 2907], ["night", 2922], ["apology", 2965], ["common", 2998], ["commons", 2998], ["commonest", 2998], ["mouth", 3024], ["mouthed", 3024], ["form", 3031], ["formest", 3031], ["formed", 3031], ["expression", 3057], ["less", 3069], ["offend", 3116], ["offended", 3116], ["run", 3184], ["kick", 3198], ["ass", 3207], ["put", 3220], ["arm", 3228], ["arms", 3228], ["around", 3235], ["loyal", 3271], ["smile", 3307], ["change", 3324], ["changed", 3324], ["way", 3403], ["ways", 3403], ["ah", 3435], ["stroke", 3479], ["stroked", 3479], ["hand", 3486], ["nathan", 3520], ["choke", 3559], ["choked", 3559], ["scare", 3588], ["scared", 3588], ["scares", 3588], ["laugh", 3654], ["infatuation", 3691], ["wear", 3702], ["bother", 3730], ["bothers", 3730], ["bothering", 3730], ["beginning", 3770], ["ca", 3802], ["cas", 3802], ["stood", 3812], ["stand", 3812], ["standest", 3812], ["grow", 3839], ["growest", 3839], ["growing", 3839], ["hate", 3847], ["hateed", 3847], ["chill", 3863], ["chills", 3863], ["chilling", 3863], ["overtake", 3872], ["overtakes", 3872], ["overtaking", 3872], ["overtook", 3872], ["shake", 3892], ["shook", 3892], ["uncontrollably", 3907], ["rub", 3920], ["rubbed", 3920], ["hand", 3930], ["hands", 3930], ["attempt", 3956], ["infuse", 3966], ["warmth", 3978], ["cold", 3999], ["settle", 4016], ["settled", 4016], ["bone", 4031], ["bonest", 4031], ["bones", 4031], ["since", 4042], ["apartment", 4072], ["go", 4096], ["goest", 4096], ["going", 4096], ["honest", 4109], ["understand", 4143], ["understanded", 4143], ["understood", 4143], ["concern", 4162], ["concerned", 4162], ["concernest", 4162], ["concerns", 4162]]
they climbed the stairs and hank fumbled with the key in the lock . your hands are shaking , she realized and put hers over his , helping guide the key into the hole . soon , they had the door unlocked , pushed it open and found hi mom ! she rushed forward and pulled her daughter into a hug . did you arrange this ? she stared at hank in amazement over jasmines shoulder . he was interestingly silent and she was unable to read his face . oh , if you only knew , mom . jasmine took her hand , and hank slid in beside her and grabbed her other one . stepping aside , jasmine waved her arm to the huge rustic great room of the old gray barn . her view unobstructed , she didnt know where to look first . because it was filled to the gills . the entire room was filled with people she knew , all dressed up . came a unison shout , then lots and lots of noise . her heart pounding in her ears , she looked out and saw several of her teacher friends from pittsburgh , who must have traveled here to help her celebrate her new house . she picked out at least four , before she then noticed her new principal here in pawleys , and a few of her new teacher friends . she saw her old next door neighbor in pittsburgh , who shed known for twenty years . she waved to leslie , a bright smile on her face . she looked at jasmine , then swiveled her head to hank . why would all these people travel six hours or more on the day she moved into her new house ? but they werent all . moving to the front of the small army was the trio she had met at the beginning of this transformational summer : deakon and norman foster , and joan lundeen . little deakon had grown at least an inch since the summer began , and norman looked healthy . they came forward and stood in front of her , norman resting a hand on his sons shoulder . hi , leslie , norman said , and his mother-in-law joan came around and hugged her . leslie was tongue-tied but she managed , so good to see you again ! theyre going well . ive been on an anti-convulsive medication for five months , with no seizures . if i get through the next month , theyre going to let me have my drivers license back . leslie kneeled down to deakons height . and how is your new school year going ? do you like your teacher ? they let me do a lot of coloring . and i learned how to read ! joan winked at her . we do a lot of reading at home , dont we , deakon ? im so lucky to have them close by . they help me as much as i help them . leslie knew how important in life it was to feel needed . well , youve got a lot of other guests to greet , so well talk to you after . they started to move away , but leslie said , after ? she darted her head around , looking at hank and jasmine , but they were both amazingly closed-mouthed . leslie , she heard , and turned back to the crowd in front of her . it was her impromptu girlfriend rita , the owner of the front porch restaurant . so great to see you ! ive been meaning to call , and ive been awful at staying in touch , but i really want to become friends . i think youve been pretty busy since i last saw you . she shook her hand at someone . hey , i have someone i want to introduce you to . a tall and ruddy man stepped up , dark-complected with curly hair . this is gary , my husband . hes home from afghanistan . just arrived last month ! so nice to meet you , gary . and im so happy youre home . the look exchanged between gary and rita was so full of love and passion , it was immediately clear to leslie what kind of relationship they shared . she turned to hank , this is hank , my fianc . it rolled off her tongue , but she realized it was the first time shed introduced him that way . which reminded her , when shed met rita , she hadnt even met him yet . rita turned and grabbed her sons arm . you remember nathan . the teenager looked weirded out but was polite , held his hand out to her and shook it . rita excused him to go look at the beach , then said in a conspiratorial whisper , hes getting straightened out . gary and i set the house rules , and made him understand if he breaks them again , hes out . and no paying for college until hes drug-free . better than when he was walking all over me . i realized tough love was the best way to straighten him out , and he needs it to be a self-sufficient adult .	[["climb", 12], ["climbed", 12], ["hank", 32], ["hanks", 32], ["fumble", 40], ["fumbled", 40], ["key", 53], ["keyed", 53], ["keyest", 53], ["lock", 65], ["hand", 78], ["hands", 78], ["shake", 90], ["shaking", 90], ["realize", 105], ["realized", 105], ["put", 113], ["help", 137], ["helpest", 137], ["helping", 137], ["guide", 143], ["hole", 165], ["soon", 172], ["door", 192], ["unlock", 201], ["unlocking", 201], ["unlockest", 201], ["push", 210], ["pushed", 210], ["open", 218], ["find", 228], ["found", 228], ["hi", 231], ["mom", 235], ["moms", 235], ["rush", 248], ["rushed", 248], ["forward", 256], ["forwardest", 256], ["forwarding", 256], ["pull", 267], ["pulled", 267], ["daughter", 280], ["hug", 291], ["arrange", 309], ["arranging", 309], ["stare", 327], ["stared", 327], ["amazement", 348], ["jasmine", 362], ["jasmines", 362], ["shoulder", 371], ["shouldered", 371], ["interestingly", 394], ["silent", 401], ["unable", 420], ["unabled", 420], ["read", 428], ["reads", 428], ["face", 437], ["oh", 442], ["know", 461], ["knowest", 461], ["knew", 461], ["jasmine", 477], ["jasmines", 477], ["take", 482], ["took", 482], ["hand", 491], ["slid", 507], ["beside", 517], ["grab", 533], ["grabbed", 533], ["step", 558], ["stepping", 558], ["aside", 564], ["wave", 580], ["waved", 580], ["arm", 588], ["rustic", 607], ["great", 613], ["room", 618], ["roomed", 618], ["old", 629], ["gray", 634], ["grays", 634], ["barn", 639], ["view", 650], ["viewest", 650], ["know", 680], ["knowest", 680], ["look", 694], ["first", 700], ["firstest", 700], ["fill", 724], ["fills", 724], ["filled", 724], ["gill", 737], ["gills", 737], ["entire", 750], ["people", 778], ["dress", 801], ["dressest", 801], ["dressed", 801], ["come", 811], ["came", 811], ["unison", 820], ["shout", 826], ["lot", 838], ["lots", 838], ["noise", 856], ["heart", 868], ["pound", 877], ["pounding", 877], ["ear", 889], ["ears", 889], ["look", 902], ["looked", 902], ["see", 914], ["saw", 914], ["several", 922], ["teacher", 937], ["friend", 945], ["friends", 945], ["pittsburgh", 961], ["must", 972], ["musts", 972], ["travel", 986], ["traveled", 986], ["help", 999], ["helpest", 999], ["celebrate", 1013], ["new", 1021], ["house", 1027], ["pick", 1040], ["picked", 1040], ["least", 1053], ["leastest", 1053], ["four", 1058], ["notice", 1084], ["noticed", 1084], ["principal", 1102], ["pawley", 1118], ["next", 1180], ["neighbor", 1194], ["shed", 1219], ["known", 1225], ["twenty", 1236], ["year", 1242], ["years", 1242], ["bright", 1275], ["brights", 1275], ["smile", 1281], ["swivel", 1333], ["swiveled", 1333], ["head", 1342], ["travel", 1386], ["six", 1390], ["hour", 1396], ["hours", 1396], ["day", 1415], ["move", 1425], ["moved", 1425], ["move", 1475], ["moving", 1475], ["front", 1488], ["small", 1501], ["army", 1506], ["trio", 1519], ["meet", 1531], ["meeted", 1531], ["met", 1531], ["beginning", 1548], ["transformational", 1573], ["summer", 1580], ["summering", 1580], ["norman", 1600], ["normans", 1600], ["foster", 1607], ["fosterest", 1607], ["joan", 1618], ["little", 1635], ["grow", 1652], ["growest", 1652], ["grown", 1652], ["inch", 1669], ["since", 1675], ["begin", 1692], ["began", 1692], ["healthy", 1720], ["stood", 1750], ["stand", 1750], ["standest", 1750], ["rest", 1783], ["resting", 1783], ["son", 1802], ["sons", 1802], ["say", 1839], ["sayest", 1839], ["said", 1839], ["mother", 1856], ["mothered", 1856], ["motherest", 1856], ["law", 1863], ["around", 1880], ["hug", 1891], ["hugged", 1891], ["tongue", 1915], ["tonguing", 1915], ["tie", 1920], ["tying", 1920], ["tieing", 1920], ["tied", 1920], ["manage", 1936], ["managed", 1936], ["good", 1946], ["see", 1953], ["go", 1978], ["goest", 1978], ["going", 1978], ["well", 1983], ["wells", 1983], ["anti", 2005], ["convulsive", 2016], ["medication", 2027], ["five", 2036], ["fived", 2036], ["month", 2043], ["months", 2043], ["seizure", 2062], ["seizures", 2062], ["get", 2073], ["month", 2096], ["let", 2118], ["lets", 2118], ["driver", 2137], ["drivers", 2137], ["license", 2145], ["back", 2150], ["kneel", 2167], ["kneels", 2167], ["kneeled", 2167], ["height", 2190], ["heights", 2190], ["school", 2219], ["schooling", 2219], ["year", 2224], ["like", 2244], ["lot", 2280], ["coloring", 2292], ["learn", 2308], ["learnt", 2308], ["learns", 2308], ["learned", 2308], ["wink", 2334], ["winks", 2334], ["winkest", 2334], ["winked", 2334], ["read", 2366], ["reads", 2366], ["reading", 2366], ["home", 2374], ["homing", 2374], ["lucky", 2407], ["close", 2426], ["much", 2452], ["important", 2495], ["life", 2503], ["lifes", 2503], ["feel", 2518], ["need", 2525], ["needest", 2525], ["needed", 2525], ["get", 2544], ["got", 2544], ["guest", 2566], ["guestest", 2566], ["guests", 2566], ["greet", 2575], ["greeting", 2575], ["talk", 2590], ["start", 2618], ["started", 2618], ["move", 2626], ["away", 2631], ["dart", 2670], ["darted", 2670], ["look", 2696], ["looking", 2696], ["amazingly", 2747], ["hear", 2783], ["hears", 2783], ["heard", 2783], ["turn", 2796], ["turned", 2796], ["crowd", 2814], ["crowdest", 2814], ["crowding", 2814], ["impromptu", 2853], ["girlfriend", 2864], ["rita", 2869], ["owner", 2881], ["porch", 2900], ["restaurant", 2911], ["mean", 2952], ["meanest", 2952], ["call", 2960], ["awful", 2981], ["stay", 2992], ["staying", 2992], ["touch", 3001], ["touching", 3001], ["really", 3016], ["become", 3031], ["think", 3049], ["thinkest", 3049], ["pretty", 3067], ["prettiest", 3067], ["busy", 3072], ["busied", 3072], ["last", 3085], ["shake", 3105], ["shook", 3105], ["hey", 3131], ["introduce", 3168], ["tall", 3184], ["ruddy", 3194], ["man", 3198], ["mans", 3198], ["manned", 3198], ["step", 3206], ["stepped", 3206], ["dark", 3216], ["complect", 3227], ["complected", 3227], ["curly", 3238], ["hair", 3243], ["gary", 3258], ["husband", 3271], ["husbanding", 3271], ["afghanistan", 3299], ["arrive", 3314], ["arrived", 3314], ["nice", 3335], ["meet", 3343], ["meeted", 3343], ["happy", 3372], ["exchange", 3404], ["exchanged", 3404], ["full", 3438], ["love", 3446], ["passion", 3458], ["immediately", 3479], ["clear", 3485], ["clearest", 3485], ["kind", 3505], ["relationship", 3521], ["share", 3533], ["shared", 3533], ["roll", 3592], ["rolled", 3592], ["time", 3648], ["introduce", 3664], ["introduced", 3664], ["way", 3677], ["ways", 3677], ["remind", 3694], ["reminded", 3694], ["even", 3736], ["evens", 3736], ["yet", 3748], ["remember", 3802], ["rememberest", 3802], ["nathan", 3809], ["teenager", 3824], ["polite", 3858], ["hold", 3865], ["held", 3865], ["excuse", 3913], ["excused", 3913], ["go", 3923], ["goest", 3923], ["beach", 3941], ["conspiratorial", 3973], ["whisper", 3981], ["get", 3995], ["getting", 3995], ["straighten", 4008], ["straightened", 4008], ["set", 4029], ["rule", 4045], ["rules", 4045], ["understand", 4071], ["understanded", 4071], ["break", 4084], ["broke", 4084], ["breaks", 4084], ["pay", 4121], ["pays", 4121], ["payest", 4121], ["paying", 4121], ["college", 4133], ["drug", 4148], ["free", 4153], ["well", 4162], ["wells", 4162], ["walk", 4187], ["walking", 4187], ["tough", 4218], ["good", 4236], ["best", 4236], ["straighten", 4254], ["straightened", 4254], ["need", 4277], ["needest", 4277], ["needs", 4277], ["self", 4293], ["sufficient", 4304], ["adult", 4310]]