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Saibo-creator

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bookcorpus_compact_1024_test

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its really an exceptional place and considering that jonathan has friends there and they have a wing that could help his brother over a long recuperation he would be a fool to turn him down . knowing how long surgery was , i dont want to leave everyone waiting . we should go out and speak with the patients families and then i should see if jonathan is in my office and ready to go home . turning to leave , i could see something else i said surprises him . i just cant believe the person standing before me . you must admit it is a quick turn-around . i have never known you to leave early . technically , im not leaving early . besides , i want to see what i can do to help jonathan before he leaves . after speaking with the patients family , i head toward the office and am glad to see that janet is nowhere in sight . although i convinced julian of everything , i am anxious to get home and see how the childrens day went . entering , andrew is on the telephone . shes coming in now and we should be there within the hour , what if we stop and get everyone some chinese food ? ... oh they did thats great , well see you shortly . shutting the door behind me , i crawl into his lap , wrap my arms around him and kiss his neck . so , i heard you wowed them at the board meeting and kept geoffrey in line . as i move my lips up his neck , his arms snake around me , pulling me closer . i heard you performed surgery and saved another life today . looking up at him , i feel my excitement bubbling up . you were right , i do remember ! caressing my neck with his perfect lips , i feel his smile . everyone had a good day today and the kids even ate dinner already . glancing at my watch , i didnt realize how late it had become . i shift to rise when my door opens and a shocked janet stands frozen , staring at me in andrews lap . her eyes shoot toward the floor . mia , dr. michaelson just finished in patient care and wants to go over some charts before you leave . rising , i wont be a minute , should i meet you at the car ? we walk to the elevator and then janet steps in behind me . as the doors close , i know she is going to say something and figure i might as well get everything over at once , so i face her . her reaction catches me by surprise as she wraps her arms around me . im so happy to see that you are living your life again . as we walk down the hall , i hear the excitement in her voice . i knew you were going to say yes because of she stops . but i never thought i would actually see a spark of the old you when you looked at him . you are absolutely glowing . shes right , being back with andrew , despite all of my changes , i feel a glow from within because that part of my world finally makes sense and my heart is whole . i am and you know what else i grab her arm and bring her closer , im also married . come on , i have to see brett so i can go home . you cant drop a bombshell like that and then leave . i dont want to get into the entire story with her too and am grateful she starts moving again . i have to , hes waiting in the car and he has to go , hes leaving for england tonight and i dont want to make him late . mia , youre not making any sense , why would he be leaving , are you both going ? is that where you are going to honeymoon ? no , let me talk to brett and then ill give you the abridged version on the way to the car . fine , but the next time youre on duty , i want the detailed version . she crosses her arms as i enter bretts office . coming out , she is waiting for me . as we move quickly , i tell her the same story i told julian and she voices the same concerns . as we reach the lobby , i am about to say good-bye , but she walks past me toward the door . since you denied me the chance be at your wedding , maybe you could make it up to me and drop me off at maxs , save me waiting for a cab . sure , jump in . i am happy that the children are still up and excited . we light a fire in the living room as they change for bed and then sit with them in the toasty living room as they tell us about all of the wonderful places jeff and sarah brought them . thankfully sarahs earlier unpleasant feelings toward me have passed and she is happy to be here . later , we tuck them into bed . as i lean down to kiss jacob goodnight , he grabs my hand . mom , when will you be enrolling us in school here and how long are we going to stay ?

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1457], ["feel", 1476], ["excitement", 1490], ["bubble", 1499], ["bubbling", 1499], ["right", 1519], ["rightest", 1519], ["remember", 1535], ["rememberest", 1535], ["caress", 1547], ["perfect", 1572], ["perfectest", 1572], ["smile", 1596], ["good", 1618], ["kid", 1641], ["kids", 1641], ["even", 1646], ["evens", 1646], ["eat", 1650], ["ate", 1650], ["dinner", 1657], ["already", 1665], ["glance", 1676], ["glancing", 1676], ["watch", 1688], ["realize", 1706], ["late", 1715], ["lates", 1715], ["become", 1729], ["shift", 1739], ["rise", 1747], ["risen", 1747], ["open", 1766], ["opens", 1766], ["stood", 1793], ["stand", 1793], ["standest", 1793], ["stands", 1793], ["stare", 1810], ["stared", 1810], ["staring", 1810], ["eye", 1842], ["eyed", 1842], ["eyes", 1842], ["shoot", 1848], ["shooted", 1848], ["floor", 1865], ["mia", 1871], ["dr", 1876], ["drs", 1876], ["finish", 1902], ["finished", 1902], ["patient", 1913], ["chart", 1951], ["chartest", 1951], ["charts", 1951], ["rise", 1977], 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2585], ["glowest", 2585], ["glowing", 2585], ["back", 2611], ["despite", 2633], ["change", 2651], ["changes", 2651], ["glow", 2667], ["glowest", 2667], ["part", 2697], ["parting", 2697], ["world", 2709], ["finally", 2717], ["sense", 2729], ["heart", 2742], ["whole", 2751], ["wholes", 2751], ["grab", 2788], ["arm", 2796], ["bring", 2806], ["also", 2827], ["marry", 2835], ["married", 2835], ["come", 2842], ["brett", 2867], ["drop", 2900], ["bombshell", 2912], ["bombshells", 2912], ["like", 2917], ["entire", 2974], ["story", 2980], ["grateful", 3009], ["start", 3020], ["starts", 3020], ["move", 3027], ["moving", 3027], ["england", 3113], ["tonight", 3121], ["honeymoon", 3279], ["let", 3290], ["lets", 3290], ["talk", 3298], ["ill", 3320], ["ills", 3320], ["illest", 3320], ["give", 3325], ["abridge", 3342], ["abridged", 3342], ["version", 3350], ["way", 3361], ["ways", 3361], ["fine", 3379], ["next", 3394], ["time", 3399], ["duty", 3413], ["cross", 3457], ["crossing", 3457], ["enter", 3477], ["quickly", 3549], ["tell", 3558], ["tell", 3584], ["told", 3584], ["voice", 3606], ["voices", 3606], ["concern", 3624], ["concerned", 3624], ["concernest", 3624], ["concerns", 3624], ["reach", 3638], ["lobby", 3648], ["lobbied", 3648], ["bye", 3677], ["byes", 3677], ["walk", 3693], ["walks", 3693], ["past", 3698], ["since", 3725], ["deny", 3736], ["denied", 3736], ["chance", 3750], ["chanced", 3750], ["chancing", 3750], ["wedding", 3769], ["maybe", 3777], ["save", 3835], ["cab", 3856], ["cabs", 3856], ["sure", 3863], ["jump", 3870], ["jumps", 3870], ["child", 3904], ["childs", 3904], ["children", 3904], ["still", 3914], ["lit", 3940], ["light", 3940], ["fire", 3947], ["room", 3966], ["roomed", 3966], ["change", 3981], ["bed", 3989], ["sat", 4002], ["sit", 4002], ["toasty", 4026], ["wonderful", 4081], ["place", 4088], ["places", 4088], ["jeff", 4093], ["jeffs", 4093], ["sarah", 4103], ["bring", 4111], ["brought", 4111], ["thankfully", 4129], ["sarah", 4136], ["early", 4144], ["unpleasant", 4155], ["feeling", 4164], ["feelings", 4164], ["pass", 4186], ["passed", 4186], ["later", 4222], ["tuck", 4232], ["tucked", 4232], ["tucking", 4232], ["lean", 4258], ["leans", 4258], ["jacob", 4277], ["jacobs", 4277], ["goodnight", 4287], ["grab", 4298], ["hand", 4306], ["mom", 4312], ["moms", 4312], ["enrol", 4341], ["enrols", 4341], ["enrolling", 4341], ["school", 4354], ["schooling", 4354], ["stay", 4393]]

he held up his hands , palms toward her , and sure enough , they were practically healed . `` thank you for getting here so fast . '' that sounded like the call of duty to her . so maybe he felt lust and a great sense of responsibility , and logically , after all they 'd been through , he felt attached . she , on the other hand , was falling in love . `` grandpa earl is the one who told gentry i was with you , roarke . i 'm so sorry about that . gentry said he got suspicious about the trip and went over to talk to my grandfather , who was so proud of our expedition that he bragged about it . '' i should have told him not to tell anyone , but i did n't imagine that gentry would go over there . '' `` i think we all underestimated cameron gentry . '' `` but did you find the sasquatch pair ? '' `` i did , and they 're holed up in a cave waiting for me to come and help them board a helicopter . '' `` that 's wonderful , roarke . '' it was supposed to be gentry 's helicopter , and i 'm not sure how that will work now . '' she had to admit having gentry turn into a smarmy kidnapper changed things . i said i 'd come as a wolf so they 'd recognize me . if i lead them out to the helicopter that way , it takes earl out of the running as an observer . '' she tamped down a rush of disappointment . `` he 'll never know what he missed , anyway . if i can see them , he 'll be thrilled . it 's way more validation than he ever dreamed of . '' `` but at this point , we do n't know what 's going to happen . we have to get out of this mess first . '' roarke glanced at the pile of camping gear in the corner . `` i should have told gentry to send your stuff up here . '' `` good thing you did n't or the person bringing it might have found us missing when we went to visit donald . '' `` my stuff 's not important . '' roarke gazed at her , his expression guarded . `` look , i know what we said we 'd do after finding donald , but you must be wiped out . we do n't have to- '' `` but i want to . it 'll probably be our last chance . '' regret flashed in his green eyes . `` but i desperately need a shower first . '' she began stripping off her clothes . `` i could wash your back . '' `` to hell with my back . '' she tossed her underwear on the floor and headed for the bathroom . `` if you 're climbing in the shower with me , pay attention to the good parts , please . '' laughing softly , he followed her . after only a few minutes in the shower with him , she could vouch for his ability to take direction . she 'd never been washed so thoroughly or enjoyed it more . he chose not to bother with a washcloth and used his talented hands instead . after her second cli**x , he hoisted her up against the shower wall and pinned her there with one firm thrust of his cock . on yet another adrenaline high , she watched the water cascade over his powerful back and run in rivulets through his wet chest hair as he pumped , driving her inevitably toward another cli**x . he held her slippery body easily and she never gave a thought to falling . his display of strength was a turn-on she never would have expected , perhaps because he was n't vain about it . he used his physical abilities for good ... and this was very good . when she came again , her cries echoing off the marble walls , she thought he 'd take his pleasure , too . instead he simply held her . a muscle in his jaw tightened , which was the only indication he was under any sexual stress . as her tremors subsided , she gave him a questioning glance . slowly he withdrew and eased her feet to the shower floor . his c*ck quivered as he turned to shut off the water . grabbing one of the large towels hanging beside the shower , he wrapped her in it before scooping her up , towel and all , and carrying her into the bedroom . he did n't seem to mind that he was still wet , although holding her towel-wrapped body in his arms soaked up some of the drips . then he laid her like a precious package in the middle of the bed . it was a king-sized bed , so she could only imagine the upper-body strength required to place her in the exact center . she was not a small woman at five-nine , and no man had ever made her feel dainty until now . no man had ever made her feel cherished , either . maybe it took a werewolf to do that . climbing into bed , he unwrapped the towel . once again she had the image of being a gift that he treasured .

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1836], ["gazed", 1836], ["expression", 1860], ["guard", 1868], ["guarded", 1868], ["look", 1878], ["find", 1923], ["finding", 1923], ["must", 1945], ["musts", 1945], ["wipe", 1954], ["wiped", 1954], ["probably", 2017], ["last", 2029], ["chance", 2036], ["chanced", 2036], ["chancing", 2036], ["regret", 2048], ["flash", 2056], ["flashed", 2056], ["green", 2069], ["greens", 2069], ["eye", 2074], ["eyed", 2074], ["eyes", 2074], ["desperately", 2097], ["need", 2102], ["needest", 2102], ["shower", 2111], ["showered", 2111], ["showerest", 2111], ["begin", 2132], ["began", 2132], ["strip", 2142], ["stripping", 2142], ["clad", 2158], ["clothe", 2158], ["clothes", 2158], ["wash", 2176], ["back", 2186], ["hell", 2202], ["hells", 2202], ["toss", 2231], ["tossed", 2231], ["underwear", 2245], ["floor", 2258], ["head", 2269], ["headed", 2269], ["bathroom", 2286], ["climb", 2311], ["climbing", 2311], ["pay", 2339], ["pays", 2339], ["payest", 2339], ["attention", 2349], ["part", 2367], ["parting", 2367], ["parts", 2367], ["please", 2376], ["laugh", 2390], ["laughing", 2390], ["softly", 2397], ["follow", 2411], ["followed", 2411], ["minute", 2442], ["minutes", 2442], ["vouch", 2483], ["ability", 2499], ["take", 2507], ["direction", 2517], ["wash", 2544], ["washed", 2544], ["thoroughly", 2558], ["enjoy", 2569], ["enjoyed", 2569], ["choose", 2588], ["chose", 2588], ["bother", 2602], ["bothers", 2602], ["bothering", 2602], ["washcloth", 2619], ["use", 2628], ["used", 2628], ["instead", 2655], ["second", 2674], ["seconded", 2674], ["hoist", 2694], ["hoisted", 2694], ["wall", 2725], ["pin", 2736], ["pinned", 2736], ["firm", 2760], ["thrust", 2767], ["cock", 2779], ["cockest", 2779], ["yet", 2788], ["another", 2796], ["adrenaline", 2807], ["high", 2812], ["watch", 2826], ["watched", 2826], ["water", 2836], ["cascade", 2844], ["powerful", 2862], ["run", 2875], ["rivulet", 2887], ["rivulets", 2887], ["wet", 2903], ["chest", 2909], ["hair", 2914], ["pump", 2927], ["pumped", 2927], ["drive", 2937], ["driving", 2937], ["inevitably", 2952], ["slippery", 2997], ["body", 3002], ["bodied", 3002], ["easily", 3009], ["give", 3028], ["gave", 3028], ["think", 3038], ["thought", 3038], ["thinkest", 3038], ["display", 3063], ["strength", 3075], ["expect", 3119], ["expected", 3119], ["perhaps", 3129], ["vain", 3153], ["physical", 3185], ["ability", 3195], ["abilities", 3195], ["come", 3247], ["came", 3247], ["cry", 3265], ["cries", 3265], ["echo", 3273], ["echoed", 3273], ["echoing", 3273], ["marble", 3288], ["wall", 3294], ["walls", 3294], ["pleasure", 3332], ["simply", 3358], ["muscle", 3378], ["jaw", 3389], ["jaws", 3389], ["jawed", 3389], ["jawest", 3389], ["tighten", 3399], ["tightens", 3399], ["tightenest", 3399], ["tightened", 3399], ["indication", 3431], ["sexual", 3455], ["stress", 3462], ["tremor", 3479], ["tremors", 3479], ["subside", 3488], ["subsided", 3488], ["subsiding", 3488], ["questioning", 3517], ["glance", 3524], ["slowly", 3533], ["withdraw", 3545], 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that was a sure sign that he was screwed . his entire life was centered on the need to know what the hell was going on around him . `` i need all the information you can locate on a woman named sable taylor . namely service work or maintenance done on her starwing . '' stein frowned , then typed furiously on his keyboard . `` well , there 's not much in the council database . '' distracted , his voice lowered as he read from the screen . `` in fact , there is no record at all for ms. taylor prior to ten years ago . '' she 's a vamp , at least a hundred and fifty years old . i 've checked her file before and it was a kilometer long . '' he tried to remember what he could about the contents of that file and then sighed at the realization that he 'd been more interested in the photos than the details about her transportation . stein typed some more , digging deep into the council 's records . her file is n't hidden , it 's been erased . '' it took the authority of the interstellar council 's majority vote to delete information from the database . `` what 's left in her file ? '' `` her name , address and bank account info . '' `` her personal history is gone ? '' `` no dating history , no family records , no next of kin ? '' `` nothing at all of a personal nature . '' derek rocked back in his chair . `` who was the last person to access her file ? '' stein checked , then whistled softly . `` marius drake , president of the interstellar council general assembly . '' derek nodded grimly , not the least bit surprised , but aching with the news just the same . `` and one of the few people with high enough access to tamper with the database . '' it 's still illegal , but he could pull it off , if his need was strong enough . '' stein looked back into the monitor at derek . `` why would president drake have an interest in a bounty hunter ? whatever the reason , it ca n't be good . '' `` yeah , my luck to get involved with trouble . '' stein blinked . `` as in a 'personal ' type of involved ? '' `` i 've known you a long time , sir , and in that time you 've never been 'involved ' with anyone . '' `` while i wo n't disagree , i suggest perhaps you should leave this particular female alone . sable was into something dangerous . had he finally fallen hard for a woman , only to have to arrest her ? if sable were involved in a criminal enterprise it would explain her desire to keep their burgeoning relationship a secret . her dating a stf agent could get them both staked . `` keep digging , stein . i 'll check back with you in a few days to see what you 've turned up . '' perhaps you should spend the interval asking ms. taylor about herself . if she feels the same way about you as you feel about her , she 'll tell you the truth . '' `` she damn well better . '' * * * * * sable eyed the slinky , silver dress on the bed warily . it was retro-bration on rashier 6 and she had to wear the old-fashioned thing if she wanted to fit in-whether she hated it or not . no matter what , she needed to gain admittance to the retroball being held in the hotel later that evening . jeffrey leroy had reported that he would be attending the event in the course of his duties and she planned to shadow him until she could determine what he was up to . sighing in resignation , she shrugged to herself . when in rashier , do as the rashiens do . she spun to face derek , who leaned against the frame of the open adjoining doorway . `` how do you always sneak up on me like that ? '' she asked breathlessly , drinking in the sight of him . he 'd been gone for hours and she was so happy to see him . but he did n't look at all happy to see her . `` your focus is always divided . '' looking past him , she saw the bed behind him . `` you took the room next to mine ? '' `` you 're the reason i 'm here , '' he said in a dry tone of voice that betrayed his continuing anger . `` it would be stupid to stay away from you . '' wincing , sable acknowledged that he had every right to be pissed off . she 'd treated him horribly earlier and she 'd had some time to think about what she 'd done . one of the reasons she 'd hesitated to take him seriously was because she was afraid that he would hurt her . hurt him first . she needed to be honest with him and tell him who she was . if he did n't want to be with her after he knew , that 's just the way things were . better to know now .

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in my opinion , the news that i was volunteering at a charity function should n't be treated like a public announcement . besides , i was n't socializing . i 'd been pressured into helping what i considered a good cause . i would n't be doing this at all if patrick had n't cornered me and practically blackmailed me into it . naturally , i could n't say that . i smiled at the two physicians and quickly extricated myself from the conversation so i could go about my business . i had n't taken more than a few steps when i noticed a couple of the nurses with their heads together , whispering . they looked up a bit guiltily as i approached them , and i realized they were probably talking about me . `` morning , dr. everett , '' the first one said . she seemed impossibly young and energetic . `` morning , '' i responded and picked up my pace . over the course of the past year i 'd received quite a bit of attention from certain women in the medical field . i was fairly young and presentable ... and i was available , at least in theory . emotionally , i was worlds away from being ready for another relationship . the fact that i 'd even talked to winter on the subject of dating confused me . i resented the way some people thought that because a year had passed , my time to grieve was over . they seemed to think i should 've awakened a year after hannah 's death , prepared to `` move on '' with my life -- an expression i 'd come to hate . i also hated people 's assumption that all i 'd need to get over her loss was three hundred and sixty-five days . on day three hundred and sixty-six , i should be running around acting all bright and cheery as if -- sigh of relief -- i 'd completely recovered from my wife 's death . `` i hear you 're going to be at the picnic , '' the same young nurse said . she nearly had to trot to keep up with me . i nodded , not wanting to encourage conversation . `` our whole shift has volunteered . it 's such a wonderful idea , is n't it ? '' `` i 'll see you there , '' she said , sounding breathless . before i could speak , she veered off , making a sharp turn into a patient 's room . i made the rounds , filled out the paperwork and left the hospital with my head spinning . first hannah , then ritchie and now patrick . it seemed everyone wanted to help me , and while i appreciated their efforts , i was n't prepared for any of this . from the hospital i drove to the office . linda barclay looked up from her desk when i entered through the private door reserved for staff . `` good morning , michael . '' linda 's the only person at work who uses my first name . she 's nurse , surrogate mother and friend all rolled into one middle-aged woman . `` good morning , linda . '' i walked past her , then turned back . `` why is it , '' i asked , still perplexed over what had taken place at the hospital , `` that everyone seems to have this opinion that i 've grieved long enough ? what unwritten decree is there that i only have one year ? '' `` ah ... '' her eyes widened , and i could see that my question had startled her . `` apparently , i 'm volunteering at the children 's picnic on saturday , '' i explained , inhaling a calming breath . i muttered , and linda laughed . `` my family 's after me to date again , '' i said , growing serious . linda would understand . her soothing voice took the edge off my irritation . `` i 've basically been manipulated into going out with hannah 's cousin . '' `` the one who owns that restaurant ? '' i nodded , surprised linda would remember . i refused to be controlled by another person 's wishes , even if that person happened to be my dead wife . i loved hannah -- i would always love her -- but that did n't mean i was willing to get involved with winter or anyone else just because hannah felt i should . like i 'd told linda , i was n't ready and i did n't know when i would be . perhaps because the morning had started off wrong with ritchie interrogating me about winter 's message , i felt out of sorts all day . i did n't intend to call her back . she was obviously in love with her frenchman , and i clung to my memories of hannah . by the time i got home , i was cranky and tired and hungry . the fridge and cupboards revealed a depressing lack of anything quick or easy . i knew i should avoid processed foods whenever possible , but there were many times , such as tonight , when i would gladly have pulled a frozen pizza from the freezer and popped it in the oven . a trip to the grocery store was definitely in order . i ended up eating a cheese sandwich and a bowl of cold cereal without milk .

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blood oozed from a nasty gash in his calf , the scent so delicious her mouth watered for a taste of it . she forced her gaze to lift from his groin with insolent leisure . `` just marveling that you do n't smel like wet dog . '' `` you smel like sacrificial lamb . '' vash laughed softly . `` i 'm here to help you , lycan . you 're safe while you 're underground . but you'l have to surface at some point , and beneath the open sky is where the angels wil slaughter you al . since you 're already fighting among yourselves , you wo n't have a chance in hel against adrian 's sentinels without al ies . '' the lycans around the room rumbled their disgust at the very idea . she raised her voice and spoke to the assembly at large . `` i absolutely agree with you . i do n't want to work with you either . '' `` yet you came when syre sent you , '' elijah said , stepping into a loose pair of jeans . `` walked straight into a wolf 's den at his order . '' she faced him again , her chin lifting . `` we 're more civilized than you , lycan . we know the value of a hierarchy of power . '' he approached her , his barefooted stride sleek and predatory . the tight roping of muscles over his abdomen flexed as he walked , riveting her gaze . a surge of heat moved through her as his scent grew stronger . she 'd been celibate too long if a lycan could make her hot . her hands fisted as he stopped in front of her . invading her personal space . trying to intimidate her with his powerful body and sharply edged hunger . she saw his need in his eyes and smel ed the enticing pheromones in the air around him . he hated her , yet he desired her . despite her height and heels , vash had to tilt her head back to look up at him . `` just tel me to f**k off and i 'm out of here . i only agreed to present the offer . i real y do n't want you to accept . '' `` ah , but i have no intention of turning you down until you go into the details . '' he caught a lock of her hair between his fingers and rubbed it . `` and i want to see your face when you find out i did n't kil your friend . '' she told herself it was from surprise and not from the feel of his knuckle brushing over her breast . `` my sense of smel is damn near as good as yours . '' one side of his mouth lifted in a cruel smile . `` did you check my blood sample for anticoagulants ? '' she stepped back in a rush . she knew the sentinels kept samples of every lycan 's blood in cryogenic storage facilities at the lycan outposts , but she had n't considered that those samples might be vulnerable to abuse . `` i was set up . you , however , are guilty of kil ing my friend . hopeful y you remember him , since his murder signed your death warrant . the redhead you pinned to a tree and left for dead ? '' dozens of pairs of emerald eyes watched her with open hostility . the chances of getting out of the cave alive diminished to zero . `` if you kil me now , '' she warned , `` you'l have both the vamps and sentinels after you . '' `` that 's problematic , '' he murmured , rounding her shoulder from the back . `` but there 's something i want more than my life . if you help me get it , i'l let you kil me in a way that looks like self-defense . '' elijah stopped in front of her again . with a wave of his arm , he gestured everyone out . `` alpha ... ? '' stephan questioned . `` do n't worry , '' elijah said . `` you can try , puppy . do n't forget i have a few eons on you . '' in less than a minute , the room was emptied . `` i 'm waiting , '' he said , his eyes glittering dangerously . `` one of your dogs kil ed my mate . '' familiar rage and pain raced through her veins like acid . `` if you think what i did to your friend was bad , it was nothing compared to what was done to charron . you help me find the ones responsible and let me kil them , i 'm al yours . '' `` how do you plan on finding these lycans ? `` i have the date , time , and place . i just need to know who was in the area then . i can narrow it down from there . '' `` such bloodthirsty loyalty . '' `` you 'd have to stay with me , '' he pointed out . `` i expect to be present anytime you question a pack member . it could take days , maybe weeks . '' the scent of his lust grew stronger by the moment and she-damn it al -was n't immune .

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learn about nature 's most versatile beauty oil and butter . never mock god : an unauthorized investigation into paranormal state 's `` i am six '' case - paranormal state 's `` i am six '' episode is a perfect american horror tale -- for all the wrong reasons . it stars the ambitious founder of the paranormal research society , an attention-seeking client , a bumbling group of paranormal investigators , a psychic-medium in search of ratings , and a rogue exorcist . [ paperback and ebook ] nuts about shea butter - the reader will discover shea butter 's benefits , its numerous applications , and how to get optimal use from this healthy and natural nut fat . learn about the differences between east african and west african shea butter . paranormal state exposed [ co-author ] - explore the rumors of staged scenes , questionable evidence , misleading editing , and duped clients . as other paranormal programming comes along imitating this style of presentation , it 's vital that the problems are investigated . paranormal state : the comprehensive investigation [ co-author ] - includes the ebooks paranormal state exposed and never mock god : an unauthorized investigation into paranormal state 's `` i am six '' case . paranormal teachings : the best of shedding some light [ editor ] - kirby robinson , the controversial demonologist , paranormal investigator and best-selling author , has compiled more than 200 blogs from his highly successful shedding some light series . the prepper 's guide to soap crafting and soap storage - be the cleanest prepper around ! create your own lye-free soap or find the best type of soap to store in the coming years . informative book shows the best ways to craft your own soap . you 'll receive original recipes and valuable storage tips to get the most out of your soap . the soapmaker 's guide to online marketing this handy ebook is packed with detailed information on designing , building , and promoting your website . learn how to write a press release . get loads of free promotional ideas . learn easy search engine optimization techniques and much more . squirrels in the hood - when sunshine the cat departs in 2006 , the second story balcony she occupied is very empty . now that birds can be fed , the author does so , also attracting an array of hungry squirrels . all in mid-august by nunzia castaldo smashwords edition *** published by nunzia castaldo on smashwords *** other ebooks by nunzia castaldo published on smashwords : finding the way out https : //www.smashwords.com/books/view/420701 e-book trailer on youtube https : //www.youtube.com/watch ? v=4_9q5tpo_fy & feature=youtu.be regarding cat aphrodite by dog briar https : //www.smashwords.com/books/view/424617 downloading of this ebook is free . you and i poetry https : //www.smashwords.com/books/view/426285 dog briar https : //www.smashwords.com/books/view/429561 about me : my blog : writernancy http : //scriverebynancy.blogspot.it/ e-book trailer on youtube : scrittrice nancy http : //www.youtube.com/channel/ucqo6owel0oulv8yjusky3va *** all in mid-august copyright 2014 by nunzia castaldo cover design by loris periani thank you for downloading this ebook . two women , two different stories , all in mid-august between bologna and green island *** law firm stanzani aug. 9 , 13:00 a few hours before departure , she was still working , sitting at your desk , in the law firm of which she was proprietor . trizia checked the time : it was late and did not want to miss the plane . she had booked an apartment at thermar and already saw the elegant costumes from the line modeled rejuvenating soak in the thermal waters . she had a desperate need to devote time to rest . she had chosen the spa vacation . she swung her head to get rid of tiredness ; saved the work and turned off the computer . meanwhile , she blamed . exaggerated , she was always engaged in the work , but she harbored the ambition . she was a perfectionist and never surrendered . moreover , she had inherited from his father george . with persistence , she had become a civil lawyer estimated , and had a great clientele . law firm stanzani enjoyed today of equal reputation in bologna . from the time of george , the founder , nothing had changed . she saw him at work , sitting right behind that desk . unfortunately he died suddenly when she was just enabled the profession . she brought it to his lips the cup of cold coffee . close the studio made her anxious , always . now , enough though . she tidies and away on vacation .

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she looked around with a guilty expression when the door opened . `` caught you , '' he said softly , shutting the door behind him . immediately he caught a hint of uneasiness in her face , before she smoothed her expression to blankness . `` i 'm tired of being in bed , '' she explained . `` i 've rested so much i 'm not in the least bit sleepy . '' she 'd been in bed for two days , no wonder she was sick of it . `` that is n't what i wanted to talk about . '' `` i made a fool of myself day before yesterday . so much had happened since then that for a moment he stared blankly at her , then realized she was talking about what had happened when they were riding . he 'd been a clumsy idiot , and typically , roanna was taking the blame for it . `` you did n't make a fool of yourself , '' he said harshly , walking over to the veranda doors to check them again , just to make certain they were locked . `` i did n't want to take advantage of you , and i handled it all wrong . '' he stood there , watching her reflection in the glass . `` but that 's something we 'll talk about later . right now , i want to know what it is you are n't telling the sheriff . '' she kept her gaze on her hands , but he saw how still she went . he could see the guilt , the discomfort , even in the reflection . `` roanna . '' he turned around and went over to her , squatting down in front of the chair and taking her hands in his . she was sitting in what was evidently her favorite position , with her feet pulled up onto the seat and tucked her under nightgown . he looked at the bandage on her head rather than the shadowy peaks of her nipples poking against the white cloth , because he did n't want anything to distract him from what he wanted to find out , and just being close to her was bad enough . `` you can fool the others , but they do n't know you the way i do . i can tell when you 're hiding something . did you see who hit you ? do you remember more than you 're telling ? '' `` nothing- '' `` ro , '' he said warningly . she bit her lip , worrying it between her teeth , and her golden brown eyes lifted to him , filled with a distress so intense he almost reached out for her in comfort . `` i walk in my sleep , '' she said . he stared at her , astounded . whatever he 'd been expecting , that was n't it . `` i 'm a sleepwalker . i guess that 's part of the reason i have insomnia , '' she explained in a soft tone , looking down again . `` i hate waking up in strange places , not knowing how i got there , what i 've done , if anyone has seen me . i only do it when i 'm in a deep sleep , so- '' `` so you do n't sleep , '' he finished . he felt himself shattering inside as he realized the sheer enormity of the burden she carried , the pressure under which she lived . god , how did she stand it ? how did she function ? for the first time , he sensed the slender core of pure steel in her . she was n't little , needy , insecure roanna any longer . she was a woman , a davenport , lucinda 's granddaughter , with her share of the davenport strength . `` you were sleepwalking night before last . '' `` i must have been . i was so tired , i went to sleep as soon as i got in bed . i do n't remember anything until i woke up in the hall with a splitting headache and you and lucinda leaning over me . i thought i had fallen , though i 've never had any accidents before when i was sleepwalking . '' he stared at her , shaken by the image that came to mind . she had walked up to the burglar like a lamb to slaughter , not seeing him even though her eyes had been open . sleepwalkers looked awake , but they were n't . possibly the burglar even thought she could identify him . attempted burglary and assault were n't crimes that warranted murder to avoid arrest , but she could be in danger anyway . not only were new locks going on everywhere , as well as an alarm system that would wake the dead if there was an unauthorized intrusion , but he would make damn certain everyone in the county knew she had a concussion and did n't remember anything about the incident . an article about the attempted burglary had been in the paper , and as a follow-up , he would have that information printed as well . `` why did n't you tell the sheriff that you walk in your sleep ? '' `` lanette was there , '' she said , as if that were reason enough , it was , but it took him a moment to think it through . `` no one knows , do they ? ''

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`` when i 'm flipping through my victoria 's secret catalog , i always look at the faces of the models , too . '' he started to fudge a bit on that one , then decided , what the hell , and told the truth . `` mmm ... false . '' she actually did chuckle at that one . but all she said was , `` final question . true or false . if given a choice between spending an evening with mahatma gandhi and golda meir , or two victoria 's secret models , i would choose the models . '' he did n't have to think about that one at all . kit smiled at him again before turning toward her father , who had moved to the other side of the room , where he appeared to be caught up in a very important conversation with mcclellan , jr. `` hey , daddy ! '' when her father 's head snapped up at the summons , she called further , `` you know , he 's really cute and everything , and he seems to be more intelligent than the last two you got me , but i could n't possibly keep him . her father inhaled a deep breath , excused himself from the company of his oldest son , and strode across the room as if nothing in the world was wrong . then he completely ignored his daughter and said , `` pendleton , would you mind joining me and holt ? we 're discussing the new trade agreement with china . '' and before pendleton had a chance to comment-or to say goodbye to the enigmatic miss mcclellan and her gorgeous legs-his boss was leading him away . chapter 3 all things considered , dinner did n't go nearly as well as happy hour , kit decided . she drummed her perfectly manicured , coral-lacquered fingernails silently on the linen tablecloth , gazed at pendleton sitting on the other side of the wisteria centerpiece , and pondered the benefits of lobbing a dinner roll at him . ultimately , she decided it would have been frightfully impolite . plus , she had n't gotten a rise out of her father when she 'd thrown summer squash at novak last month , so why should a dinner roll make any difference tonight ? she sighed heavily , poked a fork into her ratatouille and guided the eggplant from one side of her plate to the other for aesthetic purposes . seated on her left was the youngest of her older brothers , and on her right was a vacant chair . that was where she sat in the mcclellan hierarchy . just below bart , right above the furniture . she supposed it was something . she snuck another peek at pendleton from beneath her lowered lashes , and wondered why he intrigued her so much more than the others had . probably because he was the first one who actually passed her test , she told herself . he answered her questions honestly , and now she was n't sure what to make of him . although he appeared to be exactly like every other man her father had paraded before her in the last two years-each of them bearing an uncanny resemblance to michael derringer-there was still something very unsettling about pendleton . worse , he unsettled her in a way that she had n't been unsettled for a very long time now . she had n't been lying when she told her father that his new vp was really cute . although , now that she thought about it , maybe cute did n't exactly suit this particular suit . cute suggested a certain boyishness , and there was nothing boyish about the man seated opposite her now . on the contrary , he seemed to possess a maturity that even her father lacked . then again , that was n't necessarily a compliment . with a quick mental shove kit swept the thoughts out of her mind . pendleton , for all his cuteness and maturity was corporate . simply put , ick . and he was hensley 's corporate , at that . like she was really going to fall for one of those . she would have thought by now that , in spite of his desperation , her father would have learned his lesson and stopped dragging her out to meet his latest acquisition . but holt mcclellan , sr. would stop at nothing to save the family fortune , even if it meant finally marrying off his daughter after years of chasing off-or paying off-every man that ever dared come near her . he was n't even holding out for the highest bidder these days . he was entertaining any and all offers for his only daughter 's hand in marriage . too bad for him that kit would n't entertain even one . hey , her father had his chance years ago , and he blew it . if the mcclellan men had just left her alone to marry michael derringer , none of this would be happening now . hensley 's would be well in her father 's hand , her brothers would n't be starving for female companionship , and kit would be as happily married as she was ever likely to be .

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when they arrived , helen greeted them at the front door and eagerly ushered paul and ruth into the house . ruth hugged her grandmother , whose white hair was cut stylishly short . now in her early eighties , helen was thinner than the last time ruth had visited and somehow seemed more fragile . her grandmother hugged her back , then paused to give paul an embarrassingly frank look . ruth felt her face heat as her grandmother spoke . `` so , you 're the young man who 's captured my granddaughter 's heart . '' `` grandma , this is paul gordon , '' ruth said hurriedly , gesturing toward paul . `` this is the soldier you 've been writing to , who 's fighting in afghanistan ? '' paul 's response sounded a bit defensive , ruth thought . he obviously preferred not to discuss it . in an effort to ward off any misunderstanding , ruth added , `` my grandfather was a soldier when grandma met him . '' helen nodded , and a faraway look stole over her . it took her a moment to refocus her attention on ruth . `` come , both of you , '' she said , stepping between them . she wrapped her arm around ruth 's waist . `` i set the table outside . it 's such a beautiful afternoon , i thought we 'd eat on the patio . '' `` we brought some bread and a bottle of wine , '' ruth said . `` paul got them . '' thank you , paul . '' while ruth sliced the fresh-baked bread , he opened the wine , then helped her grandmother carry the salad plates outside . an apple pie cooled on the kitchen counter and the scent of cinnamon permeated the sunlit kitchen . they chatted throughout the meal ; the conversation was light and friendly as they lingered over their wine . every now and then ruth caught her grandmother staring at paul with the strangest expression on her face . ruth did n't know what to make of this . it almost seemed as if her grandmother was trying to place him , to recall where she 'd seen him before . helen seemed to read ruth 's mind . `` am i embarrassing your beau , sweetheart ? '' ruth resisted informing her grandmother that paul was n't her anything , especially not her beau . they 'd had one lovely dinner together , but now their political differences seemed to have overtaken them . `` i apologize , paul . '' helen briefly touched his hand , which rested on the table . `` when i first saw you- '' she stopped abruptly . `` you resemble someone i knew many years ago . '' `` where , grandma ? '' `` in france , during the war . '' `` you were in france during world war ii ? '' ruth could n't quite hide her shock . helen turned to her . `` i have n't spoken much about those days , but now , at the end of my life , i think about them more and more . '' ruth stood , too , thinking her grandmother was about to carry in their empty plates and serve the pie . helen motioned her to sit . there 's something i want you to see . i think perhaps it 's time . '' when her grandmother had left them , ruth looked at paul and shrugged . paul had been wonderful with her grandmother , thoughtful and attentive . he 'd asked a number of questions during the meal-about cedar cove , about her life with sam-and listened intently when she responded . ruth knew his interest was genuine . together they cleared the table and returned the dishes to the kitchen , then waited for helen at the patio table . it was at least five minutes before she came back . she held a rolled-up paper that appeared to be some kind of poster , old enough to have turned yellow with age . carefully she opened it and laid it flat on the cleared table . ruth saw that the writing was french . in the center of the poster , which measured about eighteen inches by twenty-four , was a pencil sketch of two faces : a man and a woman , whose names she did n't recognize . ruth asked , pointing to the female . her grandmother smiled calmly . `` i am that woman . '' although she 'd seen photographs of her grandmother as a young woman , this sketch barely resembled the woman she knew . the man in the drawing , however , seemed familiar . gazing at the sketch for a minute , she realized the face was vaguely like paul 's . not so much in any similarity of features as in a quality of ... character , she supposed . `` that was jean-claude , '' helen whispered , her voice full of pain . paul turned to ruth , but she was at a complete loss and did n't know what to tell him . her grandfather 's name was sam and she 'd never heard of this jean-claude . certainly her father had never mentioned another man in his mother 's life . `` this is a wanted poster , '' paul remarked .

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her knees sagged and she grabbed on to armand to keep from dropping to the ground . she was so ecstatic that tears flooded her eyes . kgi had come for her . she 'd known armand knew of her connection to kgi , but never had she dreamed that he 'd actually contact them or that he would arrange for them to come for her . but however he 'd gotten it done , she was so grateful she could kiss him ! was it possible that armand was one of the good guys after all ? `` she 's here , '' armand replied . rio had called him hancock . like he knew him . but then she did n't care who armand/hancock really was as long as she was leaving with rio . she was giddy with relief and excitement . she wanted to jump out and throw herself at rio , but she remembered armand 's terse order that she was n't to make a sound or move . but it was hard when freedom was just a few short yards away . rio asked tersely . `` behind me . '' and do it slowly and keep your hands where i can see them . '' `` one would think given the favor i 'm doing you that you 'd be a little less demanding , '' armand drawled . he sounded arrogant and utterly confident . he 'd gone from somewhat quiet and reassuring to a methodical , cold-blooded-killer-sounding dude . she just wanted away from armand/hancock , tristan caldwell and kosovo just as soon as possible . `` maren , step from behind me and show rio where you are , '' hancock ordered . `` keep to my side and do n't move any farther . '' maren hastily stepped out , positioning herself beside hancock as he 'd told her . she glanced eagerly in rio 's direction but saw he was still completely focused on hancock . probably a good idea since hancock had two guns pointed at rio . `` maren , are you all right , sweetheart ? '' rio called . she glanced up at hancock , remembering his order for her to remain silent . `` tell him , '' hancock said shortly . `` i 'm fine , rio , '' she called back softly , her voice wavering . `` how 's this going down , hancock ? '' rio asked , still holding his own guns on hancock . `` she 's yours , '' hancock stated . stay out of my way and forget about tristan caldwell . `` that 's fine by us , '' rio said flatly . `` maren , come here . walk slow and get behind me . instead of answering , she took off at a rapid clip , measuring each step as she went . when she reached rio , she nearly wilted on the spot , but she got behind him just as he 'd told her . the two men continued their staredown , never once lowering their guns . `` after farnsworth , we were even , '' hancock said . `` now you owe me and do n't think i wo n't collect . '' `` i would n't ever think otherwise , '' rio said dryly . `` stay out of trouble , maren , '' hancock said , and then he turned and melted back into the trees , leaving rio and maren alone . `` oh god , '' she whispered , her knees trembling as reaction set in . rio turned and grasped her arm , looking closely at her . can we just get out of here ? '' `` steele is waiting with his team and the rest of mine , '' rio said . the sooner we get the hell out of here , the better . '' her pulse sped up again at the mention of steele . shit , but this was n't the way she intended him to find out about her pregnancy . she 'd rather give him this kind of news in private . preferably after the furor of her rescue had died down and she could collect her thoughts . `` no , i can make it . `` just a quarter mile . '' she blew out her breath in relief and started forward at a fast clip . she would n't rest easy until she was well away from hancock and tristan caldwell . rio took her hand and squeezed reassuringly . grateful for the contact , she squeezed back . `` anytime , sweetheart . that bastard did n't hurt you , did he ? '' i 'll be even better when we get home . '' `` we 'll get you there , '' rio said in a resolute tone . * * * steele paced in agitation , checking his watch . rio had been gone only a few minutes , but it seemed like an eternity . he 'd heard no rifle fire . the rest of rio 's team stood facing the direction rio had gone , tense and prepared to go in . dolphin , renshaw and baker stood with steele , tense and ill at ease . it chafed them every bit as much as it did steele to be sidelined .

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she did a few hours a week in a restaurant on the quays called ennio 's , where again she was involved in the place and they always asked her to try out a bowl of pasta for her lunch . then she would pick up rigger and take him with her while she minded other children and took them for walks on st stephen 's green to feed the ducks . nuala 's family were entirely unaware of rigger 's existence . it just seemed easier that way . as happens in many big families , the children who left became dissociated with their old home . sometimes , at christmas , she felt lonely for stoneybridge and for the days when she would decorate the tree for the miss sheedys and they would tell her the stories of each ornament . she thought of her mother and father and the goose they would have for christmas and the prayers they would say for all emigrants - particularly her two sisters in america , her brother in birmingham and nasey and nuala in dublin . but it was not a lonely life . who could be lonely with rigger ? they were devoted to each other . she could n't think what made her get in touch with her brother nasey . possibly it was another letter from miss queenie , who always saw things in a very optimistic way . miss queenie said that it was probably a lonely life for nasey in dublin , and that he might enjoy having company from home . she could barely remember him . he was the eldest and she the youngest of a big family . he was n't going to be shocked and appalled that she had a son who was about to go to big school any day . she called to the butcher 's shop where nasey worked , holding rigger by the hand . she recognised him at once in a white coat and cutting lamb chops expertly with a cleaver . 'i 'm nuala , your sister , ' she said simply , 'and this is rigger . ' rigger looked up at him fearfully and nuala looked long and hard at her brother 's face . then she saw a great smile on nasey 's face . he was indeed delighted to see her . what a waste of five years it had been because she was afraid he might not want to recognise her . 'i 'm going to be on my break in ten minutes . i can meet you in the cafe across the road . mr malone , this is my sister and her little boy rigger . ' 'go on now , nasey . you 'll have lots to talk about . ' mr malone was kindly . and it turned out that they did have lots to talk about . nasey was easygoing . he asked nothing about rigger 's father , nor why she had taken so long to contact him . he was interested in the places she worked , and he said that the malones were looking for someone to help in the house and that they were a really decent family . she could do much worse than go there . he was in touch with another nephew , dingo , a good lad , full of dreams and nonsense . he made deliveries in his own van . he lived alone , but he always said the people he worked for made up for it , and he loved hearing about their lives . he would be pleased to know he had a new cousin . nasey asked about home and she was vague with details . 'they do n't really know about rigger , ' she said . she need not even have said it . 'no point in burdening people with too much information , ' he said , nodding soundly . he said that he had never found anyone suitable for himself but was always hoping that he would meet someone one day . he did n't like picking up girls in pubs , and honestly where else was there ? he was too old for kids ' dances and clubs . and from that meeting on , he became part of nuala and rigger 's lives . he was the dream uncle who knew a keeper at the zoo , who taught the boy to ride a bike , who took him to his first match . and when rigger was eleven it was nasey who told nuala that the lad was mixing with a very tough crowd at school and that they had been chased out of several stores for shoplifting . she was appalled , but rigger was shruggy . everyone did it ; the shops knew they did it . it was the system . then he was involved in an incident where old people were threatened and forced to hand over their weekly pension . that led to the children 's court and a suspended sentence . and when rigger was caught in a warehouse stealing television sets , it meant reform school . nuala had not known it was possible to cry so much . she was totally shocked . what had happened to her little boy ? nothing had a purpose any more . her jobs were just that now , jobs . she barely listened to the chat in katie 's hairdresser 's , in ennio 's restaurant or in st jarlath 's crescent - places where she had once been so happy , so involved .

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in fact , you can help me put the box in the refrigerator so that it stays fresh for you . entering the kitchen , i grab a knife to open the strings and show her . she smiles as she swipes some frosting , quickly putting it in her mouth . i cant wait until tomorrow . neither can i why , do you have a special cupcake at home ? i can not tell her that i just want tonight to be over because being next to jonathan feels strange , so i distract her . why dont we say goodnight and maybe your mom will let me fly you up to bed . really , will you read me a story , too ? if your mom says its alright . she runs into the dining room . kelly isnt there . she is probably putting davy back down . dad , can mia fly me up to my room and read me a story . he shoots me a disapproving look telling me he knows i am trying to avoid time with jonathan , but hes stuck . he cant disappoint his daughter . she can fly you up , but the story has to be quick and short , mia , has a friend here this evening who wants to spend time with her too . she kisses him goodnight , then turns to jonathan , extends her hand , but immediately recoils it before he touches her and drops her eyes to the floor . goodnight , thank you for playing . goodnight tracy . hoisting her up on my shoulder , i make the engine sound . put out your hands , the engine is starting . flying her upstairs , she picks out a book . to my surprise , it is a very short one . reading it to her , kelly enters and waits until im through . goodnight sweet pea . mia and i have to go downstairs , see you in the morning . kissing her , we leave . in the hallway , kelly turns to me . you cant avoid adults forever , you know . even children eventually grow up . jonathan seems very nice , come downstairs and give him a chance . im sure he is nice , but ... she sighs . but nothing , you need to stop this . it is not healthy to spend your entire life hiding . when you used to come over for dinner with alex you were always lively and happy . look at how happy you were just a moment ago with tracy , wouldnt you like to have one or two of your very own to tuck in every night . if i have some of my own , i couldnt spoil tracy and send her home before dealing with the repercussions of all my corruption . we laugh and she puts her arm behind me , shuffling me forward so that i am smiling when we enter the dining room . julian and jonathan are having a drink . mia wants to take your mothers job of corrupting our daughter away . you would have to kill her first . she has been waiting thirty years to get back at me for everything i have done to her since birth . jonathan rises and pulls out my chair . i cant imagine you corrupting anyone , but it could really be fun to see you try . do you have any young nieces and nephews for her to corrupt ? maybe we can send her their way . his features turn aggravated , which he quickly hides , but he cant quite keep it out of his voice . i have four , but we are not close , so she will have to settle for fighting your mother for the privilege . mia , you need to try this wine jonathan brought , it is excellent . he pours some into my glass . as soon as the bottom is covered , i raise my hand to stop him from pouring more . mia , come on , youre not on duty . julian continues pouring . youre not even driving . he shoots a reproachful look . taking a sip , i try to recover , realizing i probably offended jonathan . i forget that sometimes because im always there . it is really good . you have excellent taste in wine . i turn to jonathan whose face lightens at the compliment . dinner is excellent and im relieved that julian is occupying most of jonathans time discussing investments . the only bad part is that he secured two more bottles of wine from the car and my glasses are getting harder to discretely dispose of . what do you have a winery in your car ? no , while i was away on business , i visited a local winery and purchased a case for my cellar because i dont get there that often . you really dont have to open those bottles , i would hate to see you waste your stock , i have some wine downstairs . absolutely not , its my pleasure and can barely even compliment this delicious meal . it is quite a treat to have such lovely food and company . julian uncorks the next bottle while i help kelly clean the dishes . he seems very nice mia . i hope that you will give him a chance . not you too , i swear your husband is trying to loosen me up with all the wine .

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but the music stopped , leaving them breathing fast and laughing as they gazed at each other . before emma could gather her wits , the band eased into a slow number . aidan closed the distance between them and drew her into his arms . the top of her head would have fit under his chin if she 'd al owed herself to snuggle in . she resisted the impulse and gazed up at him . `` nice dancing . '' he guided her in a lazy waltz , his thighs brushing hers . his touch was steady and gentle as he telegraphed his movements with subtle pressure against the smal of her back . as with any talented dancer , he made his partner , aka emma , look and feel good . she 'd never danced with such effortless pleasure in her life . he was weaving a spel that was a mixture of blatant sexuality and romantic tenderness . women probably fel al over themselves to become a notch in this man 's belt . assuming he was a notches-in-the-belt kind of guy . conversation might help keep her out of trouble , though . `` you 've had lessons . '' `` not formal lessons . '' he brought her a fraction closer , causing her br**sts to settle against his firm chest . `` i learned at family gatherings . '' `` you dance at family parties ? '' the idea of a family dancing together enchanted her almost as much as the thought of the party itself . she did n't have parties with relatives . her family consisted of her and her mom . an aunt lived out in california , and emma had some cousins there whom she barely knew . her dad had left when she was a baby and had never been heard from again . `` it 's a family tradition to have music at our events , so of course everybody is expected to learn to dance . '' the closer he held her , the less she felt inclined to make conversation . worse yet , he smel ed good , too . she stil could n't identify his cologne , but she desperately wanted to nestle her cheek against his chest and breathe in that heady male fragrance . she longed to be seduced . but she 'd hate herself in the morning , so she resisted the snuggle urge . the alternative was n't much better . she was left looking up into his caramel-colored eyes like a lovesick teenager , which was pretty much how she felt . aidan was rich , handsome , and a terrific dancer . what woman would n't want al that in her bed ? the second the words were out , she wanted them back . no doubt her face was turning red . `` no , i do n't have a girlfriend . '' by now they were plastered together from chest to groin . she could feel the steady thump of his heart , and ... yes , his obvious arousal . easing away from him would be the smart way to handle this . she 'd always been a smart girl . but she 'd never come up against-literal y-the likes of aidan wal ace . now that she was in his arms , she never wanted to leave . when the music ended , he studied her without loosening his hold . `` i suppose you should be getting home . '' something flickered in his eyes , as if he were wrestling with a problem . then the sparkle disappeared , and his grip loosened . `` i should probably be getting home , too . i'l cal ralph . '' when he released her , the cool air of reason caressed her heated skin . whether he was a playboy or not , he 'd obviously decided against playing with her . time to end this encounter , whatever it was . time for cinderel a to climb into her pumpkin coach and leave the bal . dancing with her had been a bad idea , but aidan had figured he was about to be pul ed off the case and he 'd wanted to see her dance in person just once . fortunately , she 'd missed seeing him signal the band to play a fast number . she probably thought that was an accident . no , he 'd engineered the whole sequence , and now he had only himself to blame for his present sexual frustration , which could lead to some embarrassing and potential y dangerous consequences . as he rode back to her apartment with her in the cozy rear seat of the town car , the backs of his hands prickled and his tailbone itched . he 'd inherited a rare genetic condition that showed up only every second or third generation . if he happened to be in human form when he was aroused with no prospect of satisfaction , his body strained to shift instead , as a kind of compensation . an orgasm could calm him immediately and stop the process , but that would n't be happening anytime soon . he should have sent emma home in the town car by herself . he could have cal ed roarke to come and get him .

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`` i wo n't leave you , '' luce said to daniel . `` i 've only just gotten you back . '' chapter twenty daybreak dawn . the break of the last day luce would see at sword and cross for - well , she did n't know how long . a single wild dove 's coo rang out in the saffron sky as she stepped through the gym 's kudzu- swathed doors . slowly , she set off toward the cemetery , hand in hand with daniel . they were quiet as they walked across the still grass of the commons . just before they 'd left the chapel , one at a time , the others had retracted their wings . it was a sobering , laborious process that left them lethargic once they were back in human form . watching the transformation , luce could n't believe how the massive , brilliant wings could turn so small and feeble , finally vanishing into the angels ' skin . when it was over , she 'd run her hand over daniel 's bare back . for the first time , he seemed modest , sensitive to her touch . gut his skin was as smooth and unblemished as a baby 's . and in his face , in all of their faces , luce could still see the silver light manifested inside them , shining out in all directions . in the end , they 'd carried penn 's body back up the steep stone stairs to the chapel , wiped the altar clean of glass , and laid her body there . there was no way they could bury her this morning - not with the cemetery teeming with mortals , as daniel promised it would be . it was agonizing for luce to accept that she would have to settle for whispering a few last words to her friend inside the chapel . all she could think to say was `` you 're with your father now . i know he 's happy to have you back . '' daniel would bury penn properly as soon as the school calmed down - and luce would show him where penn 's father 's grave was so penn could be laid to rest at his side . it was the very least she could do . her heart was heavy as they crossed the campus . her jeans and tank top felt stretched out and dingy . her fingernails needed a good scrub , and she was glad there were no mirrors around so she could see what was up with her hair . she wished so much that she could take back the dark half of the night - could have saved penn , most of all - while keeping the beautiful parts . the climactic thrill of piecing daniel 's true identity together . the moment he appeared before her in all his glory . witnessing arriane and gabbe growing their wings . so much of it had been so lovely . so much of it had resulted in utter , bleak destruction . she could feel it in the atmosphere , like an epidemic . she could read it on the faces of the many students roaming the commons . it was way too early for any of them to be awake of their own accord , which meant they must all have heard or seen or felt some of the battle that had taken place last night . what would they know ? would anyone be looking for penn yet ? for miss sophia ? what could any of them possibly think had happened ? everyone was paired up and speaking in hushed whispers . luce longed to linger close to them and eavesdrop . `` just imitate any of the baffled looks on their faces . no one will give us a second thought . '' though luce felt entirely conspicuous , he was right . none of the other students ' eyes lingered on the two of them any longer than they did on anyone else . at the gates of the cemetery , blue and white police lights flashed , reflecting in the leaves of the oak trees overhead . the entrance had been marked off with yellow hazard tape . luce saw randy 's black silhouette outlined against the sunrise ahead of them . she was pacing before the cemetery 's entrance and shouting into a bluetooth clipped to the collar of her shapeless polo shirt . `` i think you should wake him up , '' she yelled into the device . `` there 's been an incident at the school . i keep telling you ... `` i should warn you , '' daniel told her as he steered her away from randy and the blinking lights of the cop cars , through the oak grove that bordered the cemetery on three sides . `` it will look strange to you down there . cam 's style of warfare is messier than ours . it 's not gory , it 's just ... luce did n't think much could alarm her at this point . a few toppled statues certainly were n't going to set her off . they picked their way through the forest , brittle fall leaves crunching beneath their feet . luce thought about how , the night before , these trees had been consumed by the thundering locust-shadow cloud . there was no trace of them now .

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1107], ["inside", 1114], ["shine", 1129], ["shone", 1129], ["shined", 1129], ["shining", 1129], ["direction", 1151], ["directions", 1151], ["end", 1164], ["ends", 1164], ["endest", 1164], ["carry", 1182], ["carried", 1182], ["penn", 1187], ["body", 1195], ["bodied", 1195], ["steep", 1213], ["steeps", 1213], ["stone", 1219], ["stoning", 1219], ["stair", 1226], ["stairs", 1226], ["wipe", 1248], ["wiped", 1248], ["altar", 1258], ["clean", 1264], ["cleans", 1264], ["glass", 1273], ["lay", 1284], ["lays", 1284], ["layed", 1284], ["layest", 1284], ["laid", 1284], ["way", 1318], ["ways", 1318], ["bury", 1334], ["burying", 1334], ["morning", 1351], ["teem", 1383], ["teeming", 1383], ["mortal", 1396], ["mortals", 1396], ["promise", 1417], ["promised", 1417], ["agonize", 1448], ["accept", 1467], ["settle", 1497], ["whisper", 1512], ["whispering", 1512], ["word", 1529], ["words", 1529], ["friend", 1543], ["think", 1583], ["thinkest", 1583], ["say", 1590], ["sayest", 1590], ["father", 1622], ["fathered", 1622], ["fathering", 1622], ["happy", 1647], ["properly", 1701], ["soon", 1709], ["school", 1723], ["schooling", 1723], ["calm", 1730], ["calms", 1730], ["calmed", 1730], ["show", 1757], ["grave", 1791], ["rest", 1825], ["side", 1837], ["sidest", 1837], ["least", 1861], ["leastest", 1861], ["heart", 1886], ["heavy", 1896], ["heavies", 1896], ["heavier", 1896], ["cross", 1912], ["crossing", 1912], ["crossed", 1912], ["campus", 1923], ["jean", 1935], ["jeans", 1935], ["tank", 1944], ["top", 1948], ["feel", 1953], ["felt", 1953], ["stretch", 1963], ["stretched", 1963], ["dingy", 1977], ["fingernail", 1995], ["fingernails", 1995], ["need", 2002], ["needest", 2002], ["needed", 2002], ["good", 2009], ["scrub", 2015], ["glad", 2034], ["mirror", 2056], ["mirrors", 2056], ["around", 2063], ["hair", 2106], ["wish", 2119], ["wished", 2119], ["much", 2127], ["take", 2147], ["dark", 2161], ["half", 2166], ["night", 2179], ["save", 2198], ["saved", 2198], ["keep", 2233], ["keepest", 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2733], ["meanest", 2733], ["meant", 2733], ["must", 2743], ["musts", 2743], ["hear", 2758], ["hears", 2758], ["heard", 2758], ["see", 2766], ["seen", 2766], ["battle", 2793], ["take", 2808], ["taken", 2808], ["place", 2814], ["anyone", 2863], ["look", 2874], ["looking", 2874], ["yet", 2887], ["miss", 2898], ["sophia", 2905], ["happen", 2958], ["happened", 2958], ["everyone", 2969], ["pair", 2980], ["pairs", 2980], ["paired", 2980], ["speak", 2996], ["spoken", 2996], ["speaking", 2996], ["whisper", 3015], ["whispers", 3015], ["long", 3029], ["longs", 3029], ["longed", 3029], ["linger", 3039], ["lingered", 3039], ["close", 3045], ["eavesdrop", 3067], ["eavesdropped", 3067], ["imitate", 3085], ["look", 3110], ["looks", 3110], ["give", 3144], ["second", 3156], ["seconded", 3156], ["think", 3164], ["thought", 3164], ["thinkest", 3164], ["though", 3176], ["entirely", 3195], ["conspicuous", 3207], ["right", 3222], ["rightest", 3222], ["none", 3229], ["eye", 3258], ["eyed", 3258], ["eyes", 3258], ["linger", 3267], ["lingered", 3267], ["two", 3278], ["twos", 3278], ["long", 3297], ["longs", 3297], ["else", 3326], ["gate", 3341], ["gates", 3341], ["blue", 3364], ["white", 3374], ["police", 3381], ["lit", 3388], ["light", 3388], ["lights", 3388], ["flash", 3396], ["flashed", 3396], ["reflect", 3409], ["reflectest", 3409], ["reflecting", 3409], ["left", 3423], ["leave", 3423], ["leaves", 3423], ["oak", 3434], ["tree", 3440], ["treed", 3440], ["treeing", 3440], ["trees", 3440], ["overhead", 3449], ["entrance", 3464], ["entrancing", 3464], ["mark", 3480], ["marks", 3480], ["marked", 3480], ["yellow", 3496], ["hazard", 3503], ["tape", 3508], ["see", 3519], ["saw", 3519], ["randy", 3525], ["black", 3534], ["silhouette", 3545], ["silhouetted", 3545], ["silhouetting", 3545], ["outline", 3554], ["outlines", 3554], ["outlined", 3554], ["sunrise", 3574], ["ahead", 3580], ["pace", 3605], ["shout", 3650], ["shouting", 3650], ["bluetooth", 3667], ["clip", 3675], ["clipped", 3675], ["collar", 3689], ["collared", 3689], ["shapeless", 3706], ["polo", 3711], ["shirt", 3717], ["wake", 3746], ["wakes", 3746], ["woken", 3746], ["yell", 3769], ["yelled", 3769], ["device", 3785], ["incident", 3816], ["keep", 3839], ["keepest", 3839], ["tell", 3847], ["telling", 3847], ["warn", 3872], ["tell", 3893], ["told", 3893], ["steer", 3911], ["steerest", 3911], ["steered", 3911], ["away", 3920], ["blink", 3948], ["blinked", 3948], ["blinking", 3948], ["cop", 3966], ["copest", 3966], ["copped", 3966], ["car", 3971], ["cars", 3971], ["grove", 3995], ["border", 4009], ["bordering", 4009], ["bordered", 4009], ["three", 4031], ["side", 4037], ["sidest", 4037], ["sides", 4037], ["look", 4055], ["strange", 4063], ["cam", 4087], ["style", 4096], ["warfare", 4107], ["messy", 4118], ["messier", 4118], ["gory", 4145], ["alarm", 4198], ["point", 4216], ["topple", 4232], ["toppled", 4232], ["statue", 4240], ["statues", 4240], ["certainly", 4250], ["go", 4265], ["goest", 4265], ["going", 4265], ["pick", 4294], ["picked", 4294], ["forest", 4323], ["brittle", 4333], ["fall", 4338], ["falls", 4338], ["crunch", 4355], ["crunching", 4355], ["beneath", 4363], ["foot", 4374], ["feet", 4374], ["consume", 4450], ["consumed", 4450], ["thunder", 4468], ["locust", 4475], ["shadow", 4482], ["shadowed", 4482], ["cloud", 4488], ["clouded", 4488], ["trace", 4509]]

`` jane , '' he yelled again , his face gray as he started for the bedroom . grant looked as if he might explode , and despite everything kell found himself grinning . better grant than him . still , jane 's life was in jeopardy , too , and the thought of anything happening to her was almost as hard to bear as the thought of anyone hurting rachel . there was another lull , and grant pulled out his empty clip and slapped another one into place . `` sabin , my patience is at an end , '' dubois called , and kell grimaced . damn , it had n't been dubois he 'd hit . `` you have n't made the right offer yet , '' he yelled in return . anything to buy time . jane crawled out of the bedroom , her hair all mussed and her eyes big . `` i think the cavalry is coming , '' she said . the two men ignored her , but rachel scrambled to her side . `` men on horseback , '' jane said , waving her hand toward the bedroom . `` i saw them , coming from that way . '' rachel felt like crying or laughing , but she could n't make up her mind which . `` it 's rafferty , '' she said , and now she had their attention . he must have heard the shots . '' grant crouched low and ran through the kitchen to the back , where he could see . kell asked . `` twenty or so , '' grant said . `` damn , they 're riding right into automatic fire . start shooting and draw dubois 's fire ! '' rachel crept up to a window , held the heavy pistol out it and fired until it was empty , then reloaded with shaking hands before emptying it again . kell was making judicious use of the .22 , and jane was revealing remarkable skill herself . had they given rafferty enough time to get behind dubois and his men ? if they kept shooting , they might hit their rescuers . `` hold it , '' kell ordered . they lay flat on the floor with their heads covered while the walls were shredded by bullets . the light fixture crashed to the floor , sending glass flying . grant cursed , and they looked over to see blood streaming down his face from a cut on his cheek . jane gave a thin , high cry and made a move toward him , despite the continuing gunfire ; kell grabbed her and wrestled her to the floor . `` i 'm all right , '' grant yelled . `` it 's just a little cut . '' `` stay close to the floor , '' kell told jane , then let her go , knowing that she 'd fight him like a wildcat if he tried to keep her from grant . then , suddenly , it was quiet except for a few scattered shots , and they were abruptly halted , too . rachel lay on the floor , hardly daring to breathe , the acrid smell of burned gunpowder filling her nostrils and even her mouth . kell put his hand on her arm , his black eyes drifting over her pale features as if he would burn her into his memory . `` rachel , are you in there ? '' her lips trembled , and tears suddenly blurred her eyes . `` it 's rafferty , '' she whispered , then lifted her head to call , `` john ! `` depends , '' the answer came . `` these bastards here do n't think it 's all right . '' kell slowly climbed to his feet and pulled rachel to hers . rachel felt like the survivor of a shipwreck as she walked out on the porch with kell supporting her . grant and jane followed , with jane dabbing at the cut on grant 's cheek , crying a little as she fussed at him . without the arm around her waist , rachel was sure she would n't have been able to stand . she gave a ghostly cry when she saw three of the geese lying in the yard , blood on the white of their feathers , but there was no way she could make a sound when she saw joe lying on his side at the edge of the porch . kell turned her into his arms , pressing her face into his shoulder . big john rafferty , armed with a hunting rifle and surrounded by his men , who were likewise armed , herded about fifteen men before him . rafferty 's eyes were fierce and narrow under his dark brows as he prodded a slim , gray-haired man before him . `` we heard the shooting and came to see what was going on , '' john drawled . `` i do n't like riffraff shooting at my neighbor . '' charles dubois was white with rage , his eyes fastened on sabin . beside him was noelle , her beautiful eyes full of boredom . `` it is n't over , sabin , '' dubois hissed , and kell gently put rachel aside , handing her over to grant .

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["burns", 2567], ["burned", 2567], ["gunpowder", 2577], ["fill", 2585], ["fills", 2585], ["filling", 2585], ["nostril", 2598], ["nostrils", 2598], ["even", 2607], ["evens", 2607], ["mouth", 2617], ["mouthed", 2617], ["put", 2628], ["arm", 2648], ["black", 2660], ["drift", 2674], ["drifting", 2674], ["pale", 2688], ["feature", 2697], ["features", 2697], ["burn", 2717], ["burns", 2717], ["memory", 2737], ["memories", 2737], ["lip", 2782], ["lipped", 2782], ["lips", 2782], ["tremble", 2791], ["trembles", 2791], ["trembled", 2791], ["tear", 2803], ["teared", 2803], ["tears", 2803], ["blur", 2820], ["blurs", 2820], ["blurred", 2820], ["whisper", 2868], ["whispered", 2868], ["lift", 2882], ["lifted", 2882], ["head", 2891], ["call", 2899], ["john", 2909], ["depend", 2922], ["depends", 2922], ["answer", 2938], ["answeres", 2938], ["answerest", 2938], ["come", 2943], ["came", 2943], ["bastard", 2963], ["bastards", 2963], ["slowly", 3014], ["climb", 3022], ["climbed", 3022], ["foot", 3034], 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growing up , i had to sleep with extra blankets in the winter , and i got a single pair of new shoes every year ; there was never money for my clothes , unless they came from the salvation army . my dad did n't even own a camera . the only picture ever taken of us was at a coin show in atlanta . a dealer snapped it as we stood before his booth and sent it to us . for years it was perched on my dad 's desk . in the photo , my dad had his arm draped over my shoulder , and we were both beaming . in my hand , i was holding a 1926-d buffalo nickel in gem condition , a coin that my dad had just purchased . it was among the rarest of all buffalo nickels , and we ended up eating hot dogs and beans for a month , since it cost more than he 'd expected . but i did n't mind the sacrifices-for a while , anyway . when my dad started talking to me about coins-i must have been in the first or second grade at the time-he spoke to me like an equal . having an adult , especially your dad , treat you like an equal is a heady thing for any young child , and i basked in the attention , absorbing the information . in time , i could tell you how many saint-gaudens double eagles were minted in 1927 as compared with 1924 and why an 1895 barber dime minted in new orleans was ten times more valuable than the same coin minted in the same year in philadelphia . i still can , by the way . yet unlike my dad , i eventually began to grow out of my passion for collecting . it was all my dad seemed able to talk about , and after six or seven years of weekends spent with him instead of friends , i wanted out . like most boys , i started to care about other things : sports and girls and cars and music , primarily , and by fourteen , i was spending little time at home . my resentment began to grow as well . little by little , i began to notice differences in the way we lived when i compared myself with most of my friends . while they had money to spend to go to the movies or buy a stylish pair of sunglasses , i found myself scrounging for quarters in the couch to buy myself a burger at mcdonald 's . more than a few of my friends received cars for their sixteenth birthday ; my dad gave me an 1883 morgan silver dollar that had been minted in carson city . tears in our worn couch were covered by a blanket , and we were the only family i knew who did n't have cable television or a microwave oven . when our refrigerator broke down , he bought a used one that was the world 's most awful shade of green , a color that matched nothing else in the kitchen . i was embarrassed at the thought of having friends come over , and i blamed my dad for that . i know it was a pretty crappy way to feel-if the lack of money bothered me so much , i could have mowed lawns or worked odd jobs , for instancebut that 's the way it was . i was as blind as a snail and dumb as a camel , but even if i told you i regret my immaturity now , i ca n't undo the past . my dad sensed that something was changing , but he was at a loss as to what to do about us . he tried , though , in the only way he knew how , the only way his father knew . he talked about coins-it was the one topic he could discuss with ease-and continued to cook my breakfasts and dinners ; but our estrangement grew worse over time . at the same time , i pulled away from the friends i 'd always known . they were breaking into cliques , based primarily on what movies they were going to see or the latest shirts they bought from the mall , and i found myself on the outside looking in . in high school , there 's always a place for everyone , and i began falling in with the wrong sort of crowd , a crowd that did n't give a damn about anything , which left me not giving a damn , either . i began to cut classes and smoke and was suspended for fighting on three occasions . i gave up sports , too . i 'd played football and basketball and run track until i was a sophomore , and though my dad sometimes asked how i did when i got home , he seemed uncomfortable if i went into detail , since it was obvious he did n't know a thing about sports . he 'd never been on a team in his life . he showed up for a single basketball game during my sophomore year . he sat in the stands , an odd balding guy wearing a worn sport jacket and socks that did n't match . though he was n't obese , his pants nipped at the waist , making him look as if he were three months pregnant , and i knew i wanted nothing to do with him . i was embarrassed by the sight of him , and after the game , i avoided him . i 'm not proud of myself for that , but that 's who i was .

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seventh period , i take this video game-design class . it turns out that designing video games is incredibly hard and not nearly as fun as playing them , but the one advantage of the class is that i have internet access and my monitor faces away from the teacher most of the time . so i e-mail the maybe dead cats . from : just before we get to the front of the line , tiny pushes me in front of him-i guess so he can have the pleasure of watching me use the id for the first time . the bouncer wears a t-shirt that does n't quite extend over his belly . `` id , '' he tells me . i pull my wallet from my back pocket , slide the id out , and hand it to him . he shines a flashlight on it , then turns the flashlight onto my face , and then back to the id , and then he says , `` what , you think i ca n't add ? '' and i say , `` huh ? '' and the bouncer says , `` kid , you 're twenty . '' and i say , `` no , i 'm twenty-two . '' and he hands me my id and says , `` well , your goddamned driver 's license says you 're twenty . '' i stare at it , and do the math . it says i turn twenty-one next january . that stupid h-o-p-e-l-e-s-s stoner put the wrong f**king year on my id . i step away from the club 's entrance , and tiny walks up to me , laughing his ass off . jane is giggling , too . tiny claps me too hard on the shoulder and says , `` only grayson could get a fake id that says he 's twenty . it 's totally worthless ! '' and i say to jane , `` your friend made it with the wrong year , '' and she says , `` i 'm sorry , will , '' but she ca n't be that sorry , or else she 'd stop laughing . `` we can try to get you in , '' jane suggests , but i just shake my head . `` you guys just go , '' i say . `` just call me when it 's over . i 'll just hang out at frank 's franks or something . and , like , call me if they play 'annus miribalis . ' '' and here 's the thing : they go . they just get back into line and then i watch them walk into the club , and neither of them even tries to say no , no , we do n't want to see the show without you . but being passed over for the band still sucks . standing in line i had n't felt cold , but now it 's freezing . it 's miserable out , the kind of cold where breathing through your nose gives you brain freeze . and i 'm out here alone with my worthless f**king hundred-dollar id . i walk back to frank 's franks , order a hot dog , and eat it slowly . but i know i ca n't possibly eat this one hot dog for the two or three hours they 'll be gone-you ca n't savor a hot dog . my phone 's on the table , and i just watch it , stupidly hoping jane or tiny might call . and sitting here , i only get more and more pissed . this is a hell of a way to leave someone-sitting alone in a restaurant-just staring straight ahead , not even a book to keep me company . it 's not even just tiny and jane ; i 'm pissed at myself , for giving them an out , for not checking the date on the stupid id , for sitting here waiting for the phone to ring even though i could be driving home . and thinking about it , i realize the problem with going where you 're pushed : sometimes you 're pushed here . i 'm tired of going where i 'm pushed . it 's one thing to get pushed around by my parents . but tiny cooper pushing me toward jane , and then pushing me toward a fake id , and then laughing at the fuckup that resulted , and then leaving me here alone with a goddamned second-rate hot dog when i do n't even particularly like first-rate hot dogs-that 's bullshit . i can see him in my mind , his fat head laughing . it 's totally worthless . i can buy cigarettes , although i do n't smoke . i can possibly illegally register to vote . i can-oh , hey . now there 's an idea . see , across from the storage room , there 's this place . a neon-sign-and-no-windows kind of place . now , i do n't particularly like or care about porn-or the `` adult books '' promised by the sign outside the door-but i 'll be damned if i 'm going to spend my entire night at frank 's franks not using my fake id .

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fifteen minutes later , semidressed and with hair and teeth brushed , she was contentedly curled in a chair on the deck , sipping her first cup of coffee . she closed her eyes as the morning sun bathed her with soothing heat . it was a perfect morning , clear and still and fragrant . the birds were singing madly , and the temperature was still comfortable , probably in the high seventies . she heard tires singing on the road , the particular note that meant four-wheel drive , and a few seconds later robert pulled into her driveway . though she could n't see either the driveway or the road from the deck , and though she knew any number of people who had four-wheel-drive vehicles , she had no doubt of her visitor 's identity . her blood had started moving faster , her skin tingled , and a subtle heat that had nothing to do with either the sun or the coffee had begun spreading through her body . how many women had loved him ? instinct told her that she was far from the first poor creatures . they , like her , had been unable to resist that gentle , ruthless charm . she knew just as certainly that he had never loved any of them in return . through the open patio door she heard the knock at the front `` robert ? '' `` i 'm on the deck . '' his footsteps in the grass were silent as he walked around , but in fifteen seconds he was coming up the three shallow steps onto the deck . he stopped , his eyes kindling as he stared at her . surprised , she curled a little tighter in the chair . his expression relaxed as he moved to take the chair beside her . `` you mistake the matter . that was lust , not anger . '' she used the cup to hide her face as she took another sip . `` that i see anger from you more often than i do lust . '' her heart was pounding even harder . my god , she was flirting . she was stunned by the realization . she had never in her life engaged in suggestive banter with a man , especially not to discuss his lust for her . she did n't think she had ever even flirted with matt ; somehow things had always seemed settled between them , and they had n't gone through that dizzying , intense stage of courtship before commitment . they had grown up committed to each other . `` again you mistake the matter , '' robert said idly . `` the lust is always there , evangeline . '' the quiet , almost casual , statement left her breathless . this time she took refuge in good manners , unwinding her legs to stand up as she said , `` would you like a cup of coffee ? '' `` i 'll get it , '' he said , stopping her with a hand on her shoulder . his touch lingered , his fingertips lightly caressing the curve of the joint `` you look as contented as a cat . just tell me where the cups are . '' `` in the cabinet directly over the coffeemaker . i do n't have any cream , only skim milk - `` `` it does n't matter . i drink it black , like you . while i 'm in there , would you like a refill ? '' silently she handed him her cup , and he disappeared into the house . as robert got a cup from the cabinet , he noticed that his hand was shaking slightly . he was both amused and amazed at the force of his reaction to her , though he had gotten used to being at least semi-aroused whenever he was in her company . but when he had first seen her this morning ... well , he had wanted to see her with her hair down , and now he had gotten his wish . he just had n't expected the potency of his response , had n't expected that thick , tawny-gold , streaky mantle flowing halfway down her back , the sunlight glinting along the strands like precious metal . only the ends curled , frothing in delight at having been released from the confines of her habitual braid . one lock hung over her shoulder and breast , the curl wrapping around her nipple as perfectly as if it had been created to do just that . it had taken only a glance for him to tell that she was n't wearing a bra under the pale peach camisole top with the tiny tucks down the front that she probably thought disguised her braless state . he should have become accustomed by now to the luminosity of her skin . every time he saw her anew , he was struck by the way she seemed to glow . this morning the effect had been particularly acute . she had been curled in the chair like a cat , sleepy and slightly tousled , her shapely legs and delicate feet bare , the bright sunlight somehow lighting her from within . he wanted to pick her up and carry her back into the dim coolness of her bedroom , strip her naked and sate himself on the golden pearl of her flesh . but he remembered , with an unpleasant jolt , that this was the house where matt had grown up . he did n't want to take her here , where the memories of the boy abounded . her tone was questioning at his long delay .

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well he certainly delivered on this meal . im not getting on the scales for a week , i followed up , diving headfirst into my beloved chocolate fondant . me neither , he agreed , seeming to study his own dessert with unusually intent eyes . nope , not for a week . all too sadly , this fascinating conversation was disrupted by the formidable presence of harry clark , who suddenly appeared before our table as he slapped me on the back . hello lily ! so glad you made it this evening , he winked , standing to his full , formidable height and straightening the bow tie on his classic tuxedo . doesnt she just look radiant , oliver ? she does , oliver confirmed , adding with a faint smile , by the way , dadhi . hi , harry greeted him , finally turning his attention to his smirking son . you cleaned up pretty well yourself tonight , son and i see youre drinking water with your dinner . lily is having a great influence on you . i shifted my gaze to my dinner plate as oliver replied , yesyes , she is . of course , as always . well then why dont you take her out on the dance floor ? harry gestured behind him , in the direction of a sharp tiled dance floor at the back of the banquet hall . i must say , son , its rather rude of you to sit here stuffing your face when you could be dancing with your lovely gal here . following the direction of his gesture , i pursed my lips as i saw happy couples converging on the dance floor ; joining hands and merging bodies as the atmosphere around them filled with the sounds of a string quartet that now struck up the music at the back of the floor . dining together was one thing ; how was i going to step onto the dancefloor , a sharply tiled expanse with mirrored walls and a crystal chandelier overhead , with a man that id rather drag into the squared circle ? nonetheless i smiled politely as oliver offered me his arm ; following him onto the floor as a beaming harry looked after us with a wide smile . lets try to make this look good , oliver whispered , gathering me into a loose embrace as we finally hit the floor . i hissed on a whisper , pulling back to create distance between us as he swung around in a broad circle . its for the sake of my job , and , since you work directly underneath me , your job as well , he told me , his moves forced and mechanical as he swung me around the floor . was that what i was doing that night we spent together ? working underneath you ? lily , you know better , he insisted , pulling me just a bit closer as he spoke low into my ear . what we did that night was a special , magnificent experience . why cant we just keep it as a treasured memory and go on doing what were supposed to be doing ? im not even sure what that is anymore , i admitted , resting my head lightly on his shoulder . how can we just go on like nothing happened ? how can we just forget something that , in my mind at least , was pretty darned unforgettable ? oliver stopped stock still at the center of the dance floor . im glad it happened , lily , he admitted finally , staring deep into my eyes . it was beautiful , it was like nothing i have ever experienced . we werent just messing around , we were making love . it just cant happen again . it complicates things too much . what you mean to say is that you felt something when we made love , i insisted . you felt something for me , as a person and a lover , not just as a friend and a trysting partner , and it scared you to death . and until youre finally willing to admit that , im not sure if i can continue this little charade . i took in my breath as he swept me up in his arms , drawing me closer than close . oliver shut his eyes tight and inhaled my scent ; his hands scaling my back and stroking my hair as though he was memorizing my every trait and feature . for a moment i smiled as i sensed his closeness ; sensing also an imminent confession of his true feelings for me . my smile dissolved , and my heart broke , as he whispered in my ear , my dad was watching us . he frowned like he sensed that something was wrong . breaking our clench , i stepped away from my dance partner . something is wrong , i told him . and while i have no wish to hurt harry or to harm his company , i do need you to realize that you , oliver , have hurt me . oliver said nothing ; only gathered me up in two strong arms and pulled me close to him once again , this time whispering in my ear , im sorry . i never wanted to hurt you , lily . its just that im confused right now , about so many things . he paused here , giving my body an affectionate squeeze .

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anyway , hes tried stacking bricks on top of the trashcan lid , booby-trapping it with a string of jingle bells , squirting ammonia around it and he even put out one of those battery-operated pest deterrent things that emits a high pitched sound . what happened to the noisemaker thing ? i thought theyre supposed to work pretty well . it disappeared , mamma whispered , shaking her head . your father says one of the coons carried it off . as i went out , precious growled at either me or the bag of trash i toted . i thought briefly about putting her outside , with hopes the raccoons would carry her off and stash her with the stolen battery operated pest deterrent . what should have been an easy chore turned into a ten-minute ordeal . daddy had built a three-foot high enclosure around the heavy-duty rubber trashcan , and my first obstacle was getting through the safety latch on the short fences miniature gate . bricks lay beneath each of the two wheels , apparently to keep the garbage can from being pushed or rolled by mischievous raccoons . more bricks rested on top of the lid . i chipped a nail getting into the tricky handle lock mamma warned me about . and one of the bungee cords popped me on the shoulder when i unhooked it . back inside , i asked daddy if hed given names to his new pets . your mamma already teases me enough about those crazy raccoons ! dont you have some kind of impenetrable high-tech garbage can at your store ? theres got to be something that would be better than bells , bricks , and bungee cords ! theyre smart , the little buggers are . and their paws are like little hands . they can get into anything . our conversation turned to new products that were hot sellers in his store and i brought up the protter development project . his mood changed instantly . its a done deal , little girl . its going to happen , and theres not a damn thing i can do about it . i suppose well have a grand going-out-of business party , he joked , but i heard defeat in his words . deciding she didnt need to get to work right away , lori anne talked me into going for a drive , just to spend some time together . because the weather was so nice , we found a parking place on queen street and went for a walk . window shoppers and sightseers filled the sidewalks , soaking up charlestons ambiance . we found ourselves at the smith killian gallery and meandered inside to browse . one of my favorite art galleries , it was a beautiful old building that had previously been a residential home . colorful charleston scenes and black and white photographs covered the walls . lori anne stopped to study an oil painting of a fishing boat and i could tell something was on her mind . oh , cmon , i said , walking to the next display . youve got that wrinkle thing going on between your eyebrows . it only happens when you need to get something off your chest . its about robert . since youve come back to charleston , ive been thinking maybe i should have told you how i felt about him before you got married . we stopped in front of a bronze sculpture collection , but i was no longer admiring the artwork . i asked , feeling a sudden chill and not really wanting to know the answer . its nothing specific , really . i thought you were crazy to leave charleston , for starters . i mean , if robert loved you , he should have moved here . plus , i just never felt good about you getting married to him . robert had always been a flirt in high school , she said . so were half the other guys , i said , wanting something more definitive . right , but the two of you were sweethearts , you know ? so why did he flirt with everybody ? because he was good looking and could get away with it , i answered . besides , everyone knew he was a flirt . i used to tease him about it . there was also the time after that football game got cancelled because the lights wouldnt come on ? lori anne said . i remembered the night , but nothing unusual stood out . all the students had ended up partying in the parking lot . and that was before robert and i were even dating steady . lori anne told me that , before school administrators broke up the party and sent everyone home , she overheard some of the guys playing a game . the object was to say which girl theyd ask out if there were no chance of rejection . robert had pointed at me and said something about my hips . to my knowledge , there was nothing extraordinary about my hips . he said they were wide , perfect for carrying a baby , she told me . and hed pick you because you had nice skin and good teeth . wide hips , nice skin and good teeth ? that sounds like he was shopping for a farm animal or something ! i said in a tone too loud for an art gallery . lori anne waved her thanks to an employee and ushered me out . so the other boys were simply thinking of who would be a fun date , i said outside .

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`` are you now trying to tell me that you do n't think you are the son of john cavendish ? '' mr. audley shrugged , and in an instant the steely determination in his eyes was gone . he was a highwayman rogue again , devil-may-care and completely without responsibility . `` frankly , '' he said , `` i 'm not so certain i wish to gain entry into this charming little club of yours . '' `` you do n't have a choice , '' the dowager said . `` so loving , '' mr. audley said with sigh . `` so thoughtful . truly , a grandmother for the ages . '' grace clamped a hand over her mouth , but her choked laughter came through nonetheless . it was so inappropriate ... in so many ways ... but it was impossible to keep it in . the dowager 's face had gone purple , her lips pinched until the lines of anger drew up to her nose . not even thomas had ever provoked such a reaction , and heaven knew , he had tried . of everyone in the room , surely he was the one with the most at stake . and furious , and amazingly , about to laugh . `` your grace , '' she said hesitantly . she did n't know what she wanted to say to him . there probably was n't anything to say , but the silence was just awful . he ignored her , but she knew he 'd heard , because his body stiffened even more , then shuddered when he let out a breath . and then the dowager - oh why would she never learn to leave well enough alone ? - bit off his name as if she were summoning a dog . `` shut up , '' he snapped back . grace wanted to reach out to him . thomas was her friend , but he was - and he always had been - so far above her . and now she was standing here , hating herself because she could not stop thinking about the other man in the room , the one who might very well steal thomas 's very identity . and so she did nothing . and hated herself even more for it . `` you should remain , '' thomas said to mr. audley . `` we will need - `` grace held her breath as thomas cleared his throat . `` we will need to get this sorted out . '' they all waited for mr. audley 's response . he seemed to be assessing thomas , taking his measure . grace prayed he would realize just how difficult it must have been for thomas to speak to him with such civility . surely he would respond in kind . she wanted him so badly to be a good person . he 'd defended her . was it too much to hope that he was , underneath it all , a white knight ? jack had always prided himself on being able to spot the irony in any situation , but as he stood in the belgrave drawing room - correction , one of the belgrave drawing rooms , surely there were dozens - he could find nothing but stark , cold reality . he 'd spent six years as an officer in his majesty 's army , and if he 'd learned one thing from his years on the battlefield , it was that life could , and frequently did , turn on a single moment . one wrong turn , one missed clue , and he could lose an entire company of men . but once he returned to britain , he 'd somehow lost sight of that . his life was a series of small decisions and insignificant encounters . it was true that he was living a life of crime , which meant he was always dancing a few steps ahead of the hangman 's noose , but it was n't the same . no one 's life depended upon his actions . no one 's livelihood , even . there was nothing serious about robbing coaches . it was a game , really , played by men with too much education and too little direction . who would have thought that one of his insignificant decisions - to take the lincoln road north instead of south - would lead to this ? because one thing was for certain , his carefree life on the road was over . he suspected that wyndham would be more than happy to watch him ride away without a word , but the dowager would not be so accommodating . miss eversleigh 's assurances aside , he was quite certain the old bat would go to extensive lengths to keep him on a leash . maybe she would not turn him over to the authorities , but she could certainly tell the world that her long-lost grandson was gadding about the countryside robbing coaches . which would make it damned difficult to continue in his chosen profession . and if he was truly the duke of wyndham ... god help them all . he was beginning to hope that his aunt had lied . because no one wanted him in a position of such authority , least of all himself . `` could someone please explain ... '' he took a breath and stopped , pressing his fingers against his temples . it felt as if an entire battalion had marched across his forehead . `` could someone explain the family tree ? ''

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the man took the paper and studied it for a moment , his eyes going wide as he took it all in . `` do n't reckon she was dressed like this , huh ? '' `` no , sir , she would have been wearing a little white tank top , a jean jacket , and a pair of jeans . '' `` high-heel boots ? big satchel of a handbag ? '' excitement clutched at woody 's gut . the ticket agent handed back the paper . `` you her boyfriend or something ? '' `` she run out on you ? '' woody dug deep in his pocket and pulled out his last twenty-dollar bill and slid it across the counter . `` i 'm her brother , '' he said earnestly . the agent took the bribe . `` yeah , i seen her . she bought a ticket to last chance . '' `` a ticket to where ? '' `` last chance , south carolina . i remember because she was in a hurry , and it was one of the stops on the first bus leaving . she remarked that the place sounded hopeful , and i thought she must be nuts or a little slow on the uptake . last chance sounds like a place i would n't ever want to visit , even if it were the last place on the face of the earth . '' tricia waited until the ticket agent finished his conversation . she stepped up to the counter until her big belly brushed against the edge . her belly seemed to be in the way all the time these days . that thought left a pang of despair in its wake . the baby was in the way of more than just her reach . the baby was a definite roadblock to her happiness . how could she have traded in a caring and responsible man for the likes of chad ames ? forget the fact that chad made her heart go pitty-pat , or that the man had lit her up in bed , or that she loved him with all her heart . all of that was immaterial . chad ames was n't father material . in fact , he 'd said as much to her face last night . he was n't going to marry her . he was n't going to settle down with her . he was n't even committed to taking care of the child he 'd fathered . he was , in a word , the most selfish and immature man she had ever met . he had literally pushed her out of their hotel room in atlanta , where he and tumbleweed were performing , leaving her pretty much stranded . she could go back to nashville , lick her wounds , and think about suing for child support . or she could try to fix what she had stupidly broken a year ago . it seemed like fixing the broken stuff was a better plan than going back to music city . `` i 'll take one ticket to last chance , '' she said to the agent . the man looked down at her . `` so what 's happening in last chance these days ? '' it just seems like there are a bunch of women headed in that general direction . and that seems odd to me on account of the fact that i might sell one ticket to last chance every month or so . it ai n't exactly a tourist spot , you know ? '' can i have my ticket , please ? '' bus leaves in ten minutes . '' jane tried to rub away the feeling of the handcuffs on her wrists . she sat in a small , windowless room on a cold metal chair with her hands resting on a gray formica-topped table . the walls were white , and the floors looked like the same linoleum they used in value mart stores-utilitarian and dingy . jane was alone . chief rhodes had locked her in . in a minute , he would return and maybe then he might tell her who she was supposed to have murdered . she drew in a deep breath through her mouth and exhaled through her nose . she had been doing her relaxation routine for the last fifteen minutes while endlessly repeating dr. goodbody 's advice about negative situations . dr. goodbody said that obsessing over a problem or trying to wish the problem away was a big mistake . instead , positive thinking requires a person to be honest with him- or herself and consider alternative courses of action . the truth was , she had never killed anyone . as for the alternative courses of action-well , she doubted she could break out of prison , and stone rhodes was a formidable adversary , so her mind was drawing a complete blank . except for the look on clay 's face the moment that he had pressed his hand up against the cruiser 's window . that look , if she let herself believe in it , said he cared about what happened to her . like he was , maybe , the total embodiment of what miriam randall had told her she should be looking for . that scared her silly . because the girl inside was hoping that clayton p. would come busting in here like sir galahad . she could just imagine clay rescuing her from this mess and carrying her off to some castle where he would sing love ballads to her .

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jack continued to pace the width of his office while frustration ate at him . `` i just need to find the right person . it 's taking a bit longer than expected . '' `` you need a wife . the caseworker is old-school , jack . and she 's from the north . she does n't care how much money you have or what your name is , or whether your ancestors were among the first residents of charleston . her only concern is isabella . '' jack shot his friend a black look . `` and mine is n't ? '' derek 's expression softened . `` i know you care about your niece . but you 've seen her exactly twice since joanne adopted her , both times when she was little more than a baby . you have no blood ties . you 're a stranger to her . and ever since the psychologist released his evaluation , mrs. locke has made it clear that she does n't consider you a suitable guardian . she 's actually mentioned placing isabella in a treatment facility . '' stark fury gripped him . `` you wo n't have any choice in the matter . they 'll simply come and take isabella from you-by force , if necessary . '' derek took a seat behind his desk and released a sigh . `` what happened , jack ? you were supposed to talk to mrs. locke . sweet-talk her , to be precise . '' `` there is n't sufficient sugar on earth to sweeten up that woman . '' `` you should have made more of an effort , instead of throwing her out of your office . her opinion will carry a lot of weight in court , as will the psychologist 's findings . '' `` are you saying that ticking her off was n't my best business decision ? '' jack asked drily . when his friend maintained a diplomatic silence , he allowed the moment to stretch while he considered his options . `` what if i do what you suggest and marry ? '' the words grated like ground glass in his mouth . `` then you have a real shot at retaining custody , assuming the locke woman believes the marriage is genuine . i strongly recommend you choose a bride who has experience dealing with special-needs children . a teacher or a social worker . a do-gooder type who will devote all her time to isabella 's welfare . '' find a do-gooder and marry her . '' jack folded his arms across his chest . `` and how do you propose i accomplish such an amazing feat ? '' `` i recommend you find her the same way you found your nannies . you advertise . '' `` you want me to advertise for a wife ? '' `` no , i want you to advertise for a nanny and then marry her . you find a woman you can live with until cps signs off on the case , and i 'll draw up an ironclad prenup . '' jack had never considered himself slow on the uptake . but this left him totally at sea . `` how the blue blazes am i supposed to convince the woman to marry me ? lie to her ? trick her ? pretend i 'm madly in love with her ? '' personally , i 'd recommend a far simpler method . '' `` hell , jack . how many billions do you have moldering away in various financial institutions ? even i 've lost track . take a healthy chunk of it and buy the damn woman . '' chapter one jack mason knew he was in trouble the minute he saw her . he did n't know why she snagged his attention , considering she sat in a room crowded with nanny applicants of all shapes , colors and ages , none of whom possessed a clue about his true intentions-choosing one of them for his wife . this woman dressed in a somber black pantsuit that was n't the least eye-catching , so perhaps his reaction had something to do with the way she sat reading a paperback novel ... perfectly composed and preternaturally still , an expression of absolute patience on a face more striking than beautiful . jack examined her with greater care . everything about her appeared quiet and understated . she 'd pulled her hair into ruthless obedience , anchoring the ebony mass into a tight knot at her nape . in addition , she 'd used a restrained hand with her makeup , just a hint of color on her cheeks and lips . a light brush of taupe across her eyelids drew attention to a startling pair of deep-set eyes that wavered somewhere between honey and gold and were framed by lush black lashes . she looked impossibly young , and yet one glimpse of those eyes warned of someone who 'd been through the pits of hell and back again . they overflowed with ancient wisdom and intense vulnerability . was that why he 'd keyed in on her from all those crowding the room ? and what , in particular , about her appearance aroused such intense interest ? it was something subtle . something that stirred instincts he 'd honed during his years surviving in the shark-infested waters of the business world .

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he was confused , because he had just had the best love making of his life and yet he wanted to strangle the mother of his child . he did n't know which emotion to embrace first . he realized his son had asked him who he was and he also realized jasmine was sitting there like a deer caught in an oncoming car 's headlights . `` i 'm your dad , '' he said . he heard jasmine 's intake of breath and did n't even bother to look over at her . he was too afraid he may give in to his urge to strangle her . he knew he would n't really do that but he was pretty infuriated with her right then . jacob asked him skeptically . his face contorted into such a mirror image of his own he wanted to shout for joy . he was meeting his son . he wanted to jump from the bed and pull him into his arms but he was still completely nak*d underneath the protection of the bedding . he knew the only reason jasmine was still in the bed was for the same reason . `` i really am , '' derek said , having to fight the emotions trying to break free . `` if you 're my dad , then what did you say to my mom every night before you had to leave ? '' the boy asked and derek knew he was being tested . derek had n't thought about those words in many years and yet he 'd never forget them . he took a deep breath and uttered the words he had n't said since the night before he was to meet jasmine and run away , `` sweet dreams my princess , i will rescue you from the tower in the morning light , '' he said , with a slight scratch to his throat . he heard jasmine gasp again and then felt her body shake slightly . he glanced over at her and saw the tears falling from her eyes . he then grunted as jacob jumped on the bed and threw his arms around him . he felt stunned as he held his son in his arms for the first time . he was awed and amazed by the little man . he wrapped him up tightly and held his little body against his own . `` you 're my dad , '' the boy said in awe . he lifted his hands up to touch derek 's face , as if he was trying to figure out for sure , if he was real . `` mom said you had to go away for business but she told me one day you 'd come back and you did , you really came back , '' jacob said , as a tear slipped from his eye . derek felt like his heart had just burst in his chest . jasmine was now sobbing next to them on the bed . she watched as father and son embraced and her world felt like it was coming apart . she had been so wrong to not tell derek about jacob the minute she saw him . she could see the love practically flowing from him . she 'd told her son all about derek and how he 'd seemed like her prince in shining armor . she 'd never told her son any of her heartbreak , like how she 'd waited for him in futile at that little broken down church . she had wanted her son to think his father would move heaven and earth to be with him . jacob was talking a million miles a minute , as he asked a ton of questions and derek patiently answered each one . they continued to cling to each other and jasmine felt like an intruder . she would 've gotten up , to give them some time together but was trapped underneath the covers . she scooted over but her bed was n't that big and derek was a large guy . no matter how much she scooted , they were still touching . `` are you going to come to my wrestling match ? '' jacob asked , with hope shining in his eyes . `` if you do n't want to , we can skip it , '' he said , although he loved to wrestle and had never missed a meet . it broke her heart how much her young man wanted to please his father . `` nothing would make me happier than to watch you wrestle , '' derek said and he meant it . he had missed nine years already and would n't miss one more minute . `` it 's really fun . just ask mom . she never misses my games . she always yells too loud but coach says it 's okay cause she 's just really proud of me , '' he said , as if he could n't understand women . `` i kinda like it , though , '' he whispered to derek , thinking she would n't be able to hear . she had to fight the smile back . `` can you go to the kitchen for a minute so your mom and i can get ready to go ? '' derek asked him . jasmine was relieved . she needed to get out of the bed . `` you promise you wo n't leave ? '' jacob asked , looking on the verge of tears . derek grabbed him close again .

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kelly wrestled into the khaki jumper , fumbled as slowly as she dared with the buttons . she straightened in time to see peter pitch her gown into a cart of dirty sheets . he yanked her toward the door . `` kelly , damn it , say something . '' the edge to his voice worried her more than the gun , and she was seconds away from leaving her mike . she gathered her thoughts and gave one last shot at communicating with ethan . `` peter , why am i changing- '' he dragged her into the hall and kicked the door closed . ethan 's call echoed . let me know you 're all right . '' peter wrenched her arm . `` i hate the delay , but it was necessary . i had to make sure my hostage was n't wearing a wire and or one of those listening devices . but then i guess it was ridiculous of me to think you might be some kind of undercover cop . '' he 'd pay for that one later , kelly assured herself . he jammed the gun in her side . kelly slowed as much as she dared along the hall , ethan 's voice her constant companion . `` kelly , i 'm with you , '' ethan rumbled through , steady , strong . `` no matter what 's happening right now . do what you have to do to stay alive . i 'm gon na pray you 're kicking the crap out of him right now . '' she heard his heartbeat thudding harder , faster . `` but if you 're not- '' his voice turned hoarse , pain radiating from his quiet words , `` that 's all right . just zone out . go to that far-away place in your head when you 're meditating . anything you have to do to stay alive . '' tears burned her eyes as his words seared into her mind . yes , she heard him . every ounce of his love and hurt transmitted and stabbed right through her . finally she understood what he meant , how love could be wonderful , but it could be hell-their pain as tightly entwined as their joy . she 'd thrown his love and his need for her back in his face . which did n't say much about the love she thought to have for him . a love she had n't even told him about , and now she might never have the chance . `` we 're looking for you , kelly . by god , we 're going to find you . so just hang on . hang on , kelly . i hope to god you can hear me . again , she heard him , as did everyone in aries . this time , she believed him and grieved she had n't listened before . if-when-she got out of this , she would remind him he 'd made his vow to a host of listening ears . no holding back , williams . and she would give him hers , as well . to a room full of people . from atop her damned cubicle if she had the chance . she would n't give up , could n't give up , because of ethan . she could n't do that to ethan . peter rounded the corner , stopping in front of the stairwell . would he go down or up ? `` okay , kelly-girl . '' he swung open the stairway door . `` time to hang out on the roof and wait for my ride , while everyone downstairs cleans up the mess i left behind , patting themselves on the back for what a good job they did . '' he scooped his hand into his pocket and withdrew ... a rock . a fist-sized sapphire . on the inside of his wrist , usually covered by sweatbands , scrolled a tiny tattoo with rebelian lettering woven into a snake . `` i 've got what my leader asked of me , anyway , and a valuable hostage . i 'll bet williams pays big-time to get you back from rebelia . '' all roads led to rebelia . `` how did you get the sapphire ? '' her mind flashed through the evening . all the jewels had been secure ... except for the case crashed open by the gastonian ambassador 's body . `` so nice of miss eugenie to drop that punch bowl into the case and cover the missing jewel , not that she intended to help . but i 'll take it any way i can . '' at least he still did n't know her part or ethan 's or that they knew she was missing . it bought her an edge . if she could just lead ethan to the roof . even if these scum received ransom ten times over , they would never release her . she 'd studied their like in aries profiles too often . once she climbed into that helicopter , she 'd be as good as dead , taken from the country and tortured-if they were n't shot down first . she pressed a hand to her thudding heart . the gemstone necklace tucked in her bra cut into her skin . kelly eyed the doorknob .

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4256]]

as they disappeared from view , she sighed , suddenly realizing how tired she was . she had n't been up this late in years . it had been worth it , though-there was nothing quite like riding an emotional roller coaster to really get the old ticker pumping . a few more nights like this and she 'd be in shape for a marathon . she walked out of the emergency room just as the ambulance pulled away and began to search through her pocketbook for her keys . looking up , she spied taylor talking to carl huddle near his patrol car and breathed a sigh of relief . taylor saw her at the same time , sure at first that his eyes were playing tricks . he eyed her curiously as he started toward her . `` i just spent the evening with denise holton-you know , the child 's mother ? i thought she might need some support . '' `` and you just decided to come down ? without even knowing her ? '' taylor felt a surge of pride in that . his mother was a hell of a lady . judy finally pulled back , giving him the once-over . i actually feel pretty good , though . '' you did something wonderful tonight . '' he smiled briefly before turning serious again . `` so how was she ? '' `` before we found him , i mean . '' `` upset , lost , terrified ... pick your adjective . she 's been through pretty much everything tonight . '' `` i heard you gave joe a piece of your mind . '' what were you guys thinking ? '' taylor raised his hands in defense . i 'm not the boss , and besides , he was as worried as we were . she reached up , brushing the hair from taylor 's eyes . `` i 'll bet you 're pretty worn out . '' nothing that a few hours ' sleep ca n't fix . can i walk you to your car ? '' judy looped her arm through taylor 's and they started toward the parking lot . after a few steps she glanced at him . how come you 're not married yet ? '' `` i 'm worried about the in-laws . '' `` not my in-laws , mom . my wife 's . '' judy playfully pulled her arm away . `` i take back everything i just said . '' taylor chuckled to himself as he reached for her again . when they reached the car , taylor took the keys and opened her door . once judy was behind the wheel , he bent down to peer at her through the open window . `` are you sure you 're not too tired to drive ? '' by the way , where 's your car ? '' `` still at the scene . i rode with kyle in the ambulance . carl 's gon na bring me back . '' judy nodded as she turned the key , the engine cranking over immediately . `` i 'm proud of you , taylor . '' chapter 9 the following day dawned cloudy with sporadic rain , though most of the storm had already passed out to sea . the newspapers were filled with coverage of what had happened the night before , the headlines focusing largely on a tornado near maysville that had destroyed part of a mobile home park , leaving four people dead and another seven injured . no coverage at all was granted to the successful search for kyle holton-the fact that he 'd been lost at all was n't learned by any reporters until the following day , hours after he 'd already been found . the success had made it , in their vernacular , a non-event , especially when compared with the continual reports feeding in from the eastern part of the state . denise and kyle were still in the hospital and had been allowed to sleep in the same room . overnights were mandatory for both of them ( or , rather , what was left of the night ) , and though kyle could have been discharged the following afternoon , the doctors wanted to keep denise in for an extra day of observation . the noise in the hospital made it impossible to sleep late , and after another examination of both of them by the doctor on call , denise and kyle spent the morning watching cartoons . both were on her bed , pillows behind them , wearing ill-fitting hospital gowns . kyle was watching scooby-doo , his favorite . it had been denise 's favorite as a child , too . all they needed was some popcorn , but the very thought made denise 's stomach turn . even though the dizziness had subsided for the most part , bright lights still hurt her eyes and she had trouble keeping food down . `` he 's running , '' kyle said , pointing at the screen , watching scooby 's legs turning in circles . ( eez runny ) `` yes , he 's running from the ghost . `` running from the ghost , '' he said . ( runny fraw ah goz ) her arm was around him , and she patted him on the shoulder . `` did you run last night ? ''

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in fact , you seemed to enjoy it . '' his lips curved into a humorless smile , his jaw hardening . he asked , his voice low and silky . she lifted her chin up another notch . and , for the record : i did n't enjoy that kiss . '' he reached out and clasped her arms with his hands , drawing her closer , his hands moving up and down in a slow caress . `` because i could have sworn you were enjoying it . '' his gaze dropped to her mouth and he murmured , `` then i must have been imagining those soft lips moving underneath mine . '' he thought her lips were soft ? he bent his head and drew in a breath , turning his head to whisper in her ear , `` and dreaming that subtle scent of pure woman . '' he drew her flush up against him , his head bending to nuzzle her neck . `` i must have fantasized that soft body pressed up against me ... . '' she should be stepping back-reminding him of the promise she 'd extracted about no more kissing-but his low voice and the soothing caress of his hands were having an odd effect on her . `` admit it , '' he said softly against her temple . his hands continued to stroke her , coax her . it was hard to issue a denial ... and hard to remember why it was so important that she do so . his hands moved up to knead her shoulder blades and her eyes nearly closed . she could feel the magnetism practically radiating from him . he lifted his head and his gaze connected with hers . his eyes shone with a golden-brownish hue in this light . she felt prickles of awareness all over her skin , her ni**les tight beneath the concealing fabric of her bra . `` you find me irresistible , do n't you , petunia ? '' he said in a low , seductive voice . `` i 'm an arrogant , heavy-handed monster , but you like it . '' she should say it out loud and put an end to this . she focused on his mouth . if she said yes , he 'd probably kiss her again . she bent toward him- -and he stepped back , his arms dropping to his sides and the twin flames disappearing from his eyes . `` lucky for us then that i can resist you . '' it took her a second , but comprehension finally hit and , with it , a cold fury . he 'd been toying with her ! of all the arrogant , smug ... she was tempted to rear back and punch him . he found her very resistible , did he ? he 'd enjoyed their kiss just as much as she had , the stinker . and with that thought , she knew how to wipe the smug smile from his lips . she grasped his lapels and yanked him down to her . in the instant before her eyes closed , she noted the surprise in his eyes followed by-and she knew she was n't wrong-male interest . four her response caught him off guard . but he 'd be damned if he did n't take advantage of the opportunity she 'd handed him . sure , he 'd been trying to rile her . sure , her refusal to admit their first kiss had affected her had challenged him to prove her wrong . but , the tension that had been building between them all week could almost be cut with the proverbial knife . so , when one of her hands moved to grasp his shoulder while the other cupped the back of his head , he let her urge him forward and press herself into him as she slanted her mouth across his to deepen their kiss . her lips , he thought , were just as soft as he remembered . definitely warm as they moved over his , caressing , coaxing , rubbing . he parted his lips and let her take the kiss deeper . his body tightened in instinctive reaction to her nearness . no matter how much she denied it , the sexual attraction was almost palpable between them . so much so that there was a fine line between their constant baiting of one another and jumping into bed together . he wrapped his arms around her , lifted her off her feet , and tilted his head back so her mouth was on top of his and she was pressed against him . she made a sound and started to push away from him , but he tightened his arms around her and took her mouth again and again in a series of increasingly hot kisses that had his blood pounding through his veins . finally , when the urge to undress her and take her right there in the entryway started to overwhelm his common sense , he took two strides and had her up against the wall . he lowered her slowly , letting her slide down against him , from her br**sts yielding against his chest to her thigh sliding against his arousal . when her feet had reached the floor , he let her break their kiss . she blinked and took deep breaths that seemed to mirror his own . `` want to go another round , petunia ? '' his voice sounded husky with arousal to his own ears . he watched as her brows snapped together and her eyes flashed .

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there was another rending of fabric and my p**sy was exposed , the thong disappearing into the gloom and from my mind . he pushed me hard up against the wall with a resounding thud . i slid one leg up his body , wrapping it around his waist . in the tight space between our bodies , he made quick work of the zipper and button on his jeans , grunting as he freed his c*ck from the confines of his pants . there was no ceremony ; he was in me quickly , holding me against his body , thrusting hard and fast . our mouths were locked together in a vicious kiss , breath rasping between our lips as he drove himself into me over and over . i came so quickly , pulling chase against me as hard as i could , clinging to him as my h*ps thrust forward violently , my head hitting the wall as i broke away from his mouth , a harsh scream coming from somewhere far inside me . chase dug his fingers into the soft flesh of my ass , pulling me even closer , thrusting deeply into me as he came with me , the urgency of his thrusts spurring on my own cli**x . our eyes were locked and even in the dim light i could see the raw animal passion in his eyes . it brought on a fresh wave of something inexplicably primal from deep inside . we stayed locked together after we were finished . i did n't want to let go of chase and when he tried to pull out of me , i clutched at him . we finally slid to the floor , where he cradled me on his lap , stroking my hair . `` oh , abby . i heard the rumble of his soft laugh against my ear . `` you drive me wild , like no one ever has . '' he tipped my face up to his , his kiss tender on my bruised lips . `` let 's go home , abby . '' *** chase took me back to his condo . in his bedroom , he undressed me slowly ; taking care with what little was left to remove , in the dim light filtering through the curtains . he laid me gently on his bed , planting soft kisses on my body , lighting a fire with each brush of his lips against my skin . the rest of the night with chase was heaven . it was a long slow dance , led by chase , me following willingly , everything slow and easy , every movement giving immense pleasure . never had anything felt so good , so right . `` chase ... '' we were lying in shared bliss , tangled in the sheets and each other 's arms and legs . my head was resting in the now-familiar spot on his chest , his arm around my shoulder , his body warm beneath my hands . our mingled scents rose from the sheets , warm and sensual . his fingers lazily stroked my hair , brushing damp tangles away from my forehead . `` what is this we have ? where do you see this going ? '' i knew i was playing with a different kind of fire . but i knew it was saturday ; images of jake had risen unbidden in my mind . lying in chase 's arms , i felt torn and i did n't like the feeling . my mind was looking for the logical , the facts of the matter . how did chase feel ? was i deluding myself , again , that he might love me ? god knows you 're capable of making things up , abby . his fingers hesitated , briefly tensing against my hair . then they resumed their lazy movement . `` you 're looking for something i do n't think i can give you , abby . i told you , the only filly who has my heart right now is celeste . you 're a close second . '' he shifted , rolling me on my back , propping himself on one elbow . the look in his eyes was serious , but soft , distant memories clouding his gaze . if they were storm clouds , i could n't tell . `` there 've been very few women i could say i loved . i 've liked a hell of a lot of them , some quite a bit . but the one who i loved the best , did n't love me back . or did n't love me enough , maybe . she 's not around anymore to ask . '' chase rolled on his back , one arm flung across his eyes . i leaned over , watching his face as best i could in the shadows . `` there are memories from my past that i 'm not ready to face , even with you . you asked me once if i hid behind whips and chains and you were more right than i wanted to admit . i hide at the ranch . i can be busy there , wear myself out riding horses , breaking them , taking care of them . it keeps me from spending too much time in the past . '' in the dim light i thought i saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes . but i did n't touch him , did n't think that 's what he wanted .

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as i stroke the fine weave of his wool suit pants , his thigh shifts under my measured touch . rippled steel bands react under my palm , the soft inner thigh flesh yielding the tiniest bit as i grasp him , feel his response . he inhales slowly and rests his chin on the top of my head , closing his eyes . letting me explore him , confirm he 's real and under my inventory . here 's his forearm . there 's his biceps . and the chest is right here . the scruff on his cheek makes contact with my cheekbone and i soften into him . our bodies fit beautifully together . we ca n't say a word to each other right now unless we want the pilot to hear , so we sit in silence . his hands mimic mine , soon finding my curves and valleys , swells and peaks . the way he touches me makes me feel desired . not just wanted , because anyone can be wanted . he makes me feel cherished . `` check out the red sox game , '' he says , pointing to the well-lit fenway park . it 's an early game for the season . everyone seems so tiny , so insignificant , and yet thousands-tens of thousands-of people are all congregated to watch the game , to party , to be one with the energy of the crowd . for a split second , i wish amanda were here . sex in a limo with a near-billionaire ! and a hot man who looks like a men 's health cover model . watching a red sox game from above , flying over the gleaming city lights . me-shannon-with declan mccormick . and then ... my own mind does a 180-degree turn . sometimes the clearest moments come when you least expect them , and this is one of those times . you ca n't believe it because you wo n't let yourself believe it . let go of your own self as an obstacle and imagine how much more you could do and be . tears threaten the inner corners of my eyes . my throat aches with a sickly , bitter taste . i lean in to declan and press my ear against his heart , the fine cloth of his shirt cool until my face warms it . a tear mars the perfect whiteness of his shirt and i do n't care . thu-thump . steady and strong , his heart continues at its regular pace . i wonder if he 's always like this . so calm , so confident . without being smarmy or a blowhard , declan manages to embody so many qualities i 've wanted in a man , but thought were mythical . he 's nothing like my own father , who is a sweet , non-judgmental man . but dad is n't the dominant type . i 've never seen him move through life making split-second decisions and assessments of character and behavior and filtering a person in or out based on their response . dad does n't walk into a room with a feeling of command . he 's many wonderful things , but jason jacoby is anything but the leader of a pack . because i can love my dad but want a man for myself who is completely different . `` we 're almost there , '' declan says , pointing through the window at the scattered lights below . i 'm so deep in my thoughts that somehow i manage to forget to look outside , to see the show unfolding beneath us . complete darkness has descended over the city ; it 's a moonless night , so up here in the sky , the air has a whiff of intrigue to it . without the bright white orb in the sky to shepherd us , the chopper 's movements feel more than a little surreal , like riding space mountain at disney , except there is no enclosed building , no track , no line . we move down , more of the city rolling out before our eyes . a long patch of nothingness spills into view suddenly . the copter shifts downward and we 're flying fast over water . declan kisses my ear and i see the white caps of waves cresting , my body drained . i 'm tired and spent , yet wired and excited . it 's not from the copter ride . it 's from knowing there 're so much more to come . joel says a bunch of numbers and phrases again , then suddenly we 're hovering a few feet above the ground on a tiny island , a tall building brightly lit right next to us . the flight itself was fast , so fast we must be on one of the boston harbor islands . the tall , lit building is a lighthouse , the old kind . the lighthouse 's beacon faces out to sea and a small golf cart is parked next to the structure . `` powering down , '' joel explains . i sit in place , the copter 's vibrations making my skin tingle . i 'm parched , and just as the last snick sound from the blades ' rotation makes its final sigh , my stomach growls louder than a zombie bear that stumbled across a bunch of fresh raccoon brains .

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`` as you all know , we have much to celebrate with the spring of a new year upon us . my long lost nephew has been found , and we 're so pleased to have him as a part of our family . he 's been in seattle the whole time , but circumstances kept us from each other . because of a beautiful young woman in the crowd , we connected and have spent the last few months getting to know each other . it 's been a joy and filled this old heart of mine with overwhelming happiness . whenever i think my life ca n't possibly get any greater than it already has , our family is blessed with even more , '' joseph said . sierra felt tears sting her eyes as she listened to the joy and pride in joseph 's voice . `` i 'll be back , '' damien whispered before he released her and moved toward the stage . sierra decided not to stick around . she could n't bear any more that night and still have any of her heart left intact . before she was able to make a retreat she was caged in . she looked up to find damien 's best friend , trinity on one side of her , and bree on the other . `` i need to use the restroom , '' sierra told them in a desperate attempt at escape . `` it can wait , '' the two women said in unison before they looked at each other and giggled . damien approached the stage with confidence and gave joseph a hug before he turned to the crowd . his eyes scanned the room before settling on sierra . `` i 've made many mistakes in life . i do n't regret them , because they 've shaped me into the man i am now , however , i wish i would n't have been such a fool for so many years . my best friend gave me some beautiful advice , of which i took some , and ignored the rest , '' he said as he sent a wink toward trinity . `` it gets better , '' trinity whispered to sierra who looked at her with confusion . `` you see , i 've done many foolish things in my life , held grudges that were n't warranted , sought revenge that was n't called for , and the most ludicrous of all , let the woman i love escape . '' damien 's gaze connected with hers and she looked back with uncertainty and ... hope . he would n't be so cruel to say those things about another woman , so maybe ... '' she was afraid to even think the thoughts . the room started to stir as people shifted . sierra was so focused on damien she did n't notice the men and women coming toward her . she was suddenly lifted into the air and placed in a chair which was then picked up , as the group of men carried her to damien . `` i 've only loved one other person my entire life , and she saved me when i was a child . i 've only ever been in love once , and you saved me as a man . please forgive my foolishness , my faults , and my insensitivities . i ca n't live in a world where you 're not by my side - i 'm just a shell of a man without you in my life . '' sierra 's convoy placed her on the stage and she was quickly pulled into damien 's arms . tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked into his eyes , the truth of his words shining from him . `` damien - '' `` wait , there 's more , '' he said as he placed his finger over her mouth . there was a collective gasp as dozens of people stepped forward , each with a bucket filled with different colored rose petals . they filled the stage with the fragrant pieces , creating a romantic bed of color . `` take a seat , '' he told her before he helped her sit , and then walked off the stage . the crowd parted and there was a stage in the center of the room with a microphone and guitar . sierra looked at the men standing along the back of the stage , it was all the anderson and titan men , dressed to the nines , looking amazing as they gazed back at her and winked . damien joined them , then picked up the guitar . she watched in awe as music started drifting through the room and he stepped up to the microphone and began singing , i wo n't give up by jason mraz . when he sang the lyrics speaking of sunrises and never giving up on their love , tears began streaming down her face . when the men behind him joined in on the chorus , some of their voices off-key , some singing beautifully , she was sobbing . at the end of the song , he set the guitar down and walked to her , pulling a small box from his pocket as he knelt on the bed of rose petals . `` i wo n't ever give up on our love again . you are my sun , moon , and stars . i do n't want to live a life without you beside me .

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when i saw him pick up the book wed been reading the past few nights , i stopped him . daddy , will you tell me the story of when i was born , please ? i watched as his face crumbled for a minute , then he smiled , one that didnt reach his eyes . it was the saddest and happiest story id ever heard , but i liked hearing about my mom . i patted the bed for him to snuggle with me , and he rested his head on my pillow . he pulled me close to him and tucked me under his chin . from the moment we found out she was pregnant , we were the most ecstatic parents-to-be ever . from day one , she took to having you like it was the greatest privilege , and it was , and she didnt waste one moment of it . so , after nine long months , it was finally time to go to the hospital . your mom was so calm and excited . we couldnt wait to meet you , and thats all she could talk about . labor took thirteen long and painful hours , and your mom worked so hard through it all , because our little girl didnt want to come out yet . with my nose buried into my dads chest , i breathed in his scent of fresh cut wood and fabric softener . she was so strong and brave . and when you were ready , she pushed and pushed , for almost an hour , until you finally came out . it truly was the best day of our lives , frankie . your mommy got to hold and kiss you , and we both cried happy tears when we met our little francesca . i felt his arms tighten around me . i knew this part was the most difficult of the whole story for him . daddy , will you tell me the rest ? i dont like telling this part . he rolled his face into the soft pillow , probably to wipe his tears . once you were born , your mom held you , and we gushed and cried over you . she insisted on naming you after me . we couldnt have been happier . then well , then she closed her eyes and wouldnt open them again . nurses and doctors came in and began working on your mom . they made me leave , and another one took you to the nursery . it felt like a long time until a doctor came to tell me they couldnt save her . she had an undetected heart disease and went quickly and painlessly . ill never let you forget how much you meant to her . youre so much like her , frankie , not just in looks but also in soul . she was so kind and genuine , and i see that in you . love you , too , daddy . i wish she was still here . i sniffled and burrowed into him . *** christmas , my most favorite holiday ever , was around the corner . and after school , we were going to my grandparents house . every year they had a tree decorating party for the family . my grandpa always cut the tree and set it up , and wed decorate it . my aunt connie and uncle jack were bringing my four-year-old cousins . oh , and my twin uncles were coming home from college . when the school bell rang , i ran through the crowd of kids , bouncing on my toes to catch a glimpse of my dad . when i saw him , i called out , dad ! i flung myself into his arms and he hugged me tightly . he lowered me to the ground , and took my hand . everyones waiting for us . i ran to the car , and yelled , woo ! *** a few minutes later , we pulled up at the house . and even though it was still light out , i could see all the sparkling lights . wow , look , frankie ! twinkling lights sparkled from every edge and corner of the house . ill race ya . oh , i wanted to race . i jumped out of the car and ran as fast as i could to the steps . pulling in deep breaths of air , i claimed victory with a little dance . the door swung open , and there stood my grandparents , laughing at us . we hugged them . dad , said dad . hi , francis . im so glad you two got here early , said grandma , calling my dad by his real name . let them inside , beth . grandpa ushered us inside . my cousins , beth and anne clung to me , like spider monkeys , while everyone else greeted us . it was nice to see all the family together . grandma told us to sit down while she got us her special hot chocolate . she even put whip cream and peppermint sprinkles on top . grandpa helped her carry the mugs , while dad stood to pass them out . i looked around at all the faces of our family with a happy smile . ill be right back , said dad and made his way to the kitchen . i tried to sip the hot chocolate , but it burnt my tongue . beth called me over to look at the lights on the tree , and to show me the boxes of ornaments wed be hanging later .

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unfortunately she had n't and it was too late for them . over the years he 'd flitted about the country and , in her view , wasted his life . in some respects she had , too , elise recognized sadly . `` mom , you did love him , did n't you ? '' aurora repeated anxiously . so much that even now it frightened her to admit it . her daughter relaxed visibly . `` we keep in touch , you know . '' elise was aware of that . maverick lived among the dregs of society , as she liked to put it , making his living from card-playing and god knew what else . but apparently he was successful-enough to support aurora all her life and through college . besides his regular payments and then tuition , he 'd always sent extra for their daughter 's birthday and at christmas . the first seventeen years following their divorce , he wrote aurora once a month but they were never long letters . mostly he sent postcards to let her know where he was and if he was winning . winning had always been important to maverick . in fact , it was everything to him . he lived in search of the elusive jackpot that would set him up for life . to the best of elise 's knowledge , he 'd never found it . `` if you want to keep in touch with your father , that has nothing to do with me , '' she primly informed her daughter . elise had read those postcards , too , and wished she hadn't-because she was afraid it meant she still cared , still hungered for what was destined never to be . `` dad and i talk every now and then . '' when aurora was a child , she 'd been so excited whenever her daddy called . as an adult , she reacted the same way . aurora had n't been disillusioned by her father yet , and elise hated the thought that eventually her daughter would face the same disappointment she had . maverick did n't intend to hurt those he loved . he was simply careless with the feelings of others ; the people he claimed to love never came first with him . he just could n't be trusted . if he said he 'd be home by nine , he meant he 'd be home at nine unless there was a card game going . his moods were dictated by whether he won or lost . if he won , he was elated and jubilant , swinging elise in his arms and planning celebration dinners . if he lost , he suffered fits of anger and despair . `` he 's coming , mom , '' aurora announced . she looked directly into elise 's eyes . `` coming , '' elise repeated as a numbing sensation spread through her . `` to seattle ? '' aurora nodded . `` is there some big poker tournament taking place here ? '' not that she was likely to know about it . `` he 's coming to see me , '' aurora added with more than a hint of defiance . `` how ... fatherly , '' elise murmured sarcastically . `` once every five or ten years he- '' `` mom ! '' elise clamped her mouth shut before she could say something she 'd regret . `` this is what i never understood about you and dad . '' her daughter seemed to be struggling to hold on to her composure . `` you make me feel like i 'm being disloyal to you because i choose not to ignore my father . '' this was a painful revelation , and elise swallowed hard . all she 'd wanted was to protect aurora from certain disillusionment . aurora nodded and the tears that brightened her eyes were testament to the truth of her words . i never realized ... i-i did that . '' the guilt was nearly overwhelming . never once in all the years i was growing up did i hear my father say a negative thing about you . not once , mom , and yet i ca n't remember you ever saying a kind word about him . '' elise had tried hard to hide her feelings toward maverick from their daughter . surely she 'd succeeded-had n't she ? gazing into her daughter 's pain-filled eyes , elise realized that she had n't . aurora 's shoulders rose in a deep sigh . `` please , mom , i do n't want to argue about this . '' racked with self-recrimination , elise patted her daughter 's knee . `` your father is ... your father . i wish i 'd given you a better one , but that 's my mistake , not yours . '' aurora cried . `` you do n't have anything good to say about him . '' `` i was the one married to him , remember ? i loved maverick but we were n't meant to be together . '' `` i know he failed you . he admits it . '' `` he failed you too . '' `` in some ways , yes , he did , '' aurora agreed , `` but in other ways he was a wonderful father . ''

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tom had been her occasional date for the past year , whenever he was in town . but right now , tamara could n't help contrasting him to sawyer , who stood about half a head taller , and a world of difference away in smoothness . tamara considered herself tall-or at least , not short-at five-seven , but sawyer had a considerable height advantage on her . `` tom , you know his lordship , the earl of melton , do n't you ? '' she asked , using sawyer 's title in order to strive for some emotional distance between them . sawyer 's look said he saw right through her ploy . `` my lord , may i present tom vance ? '' she watched as sawyer and tom shook hands and took each other 's measure . `` melton as in melton media ? '' `` one and the same , '' sawyer replied . `` pleasure to meet you , ah- '' `` my lord , '' tamara supplied , trying not to roll her eyes . `` my lord , '' tom repeated , and then shot a grateful look at her . sawyer queried sardonically . `` like tom and tam ? '' tom grinned , happy as a puppy . tamara could see the wheels turning in tom 's head . to tom , meeting sawyer was like hitting the networking jackpot . sawyer 's media outlets presented limitless opportunities . free publicity ! advertising ! name recognition ! in short , the kind of opportunity that tamara 's father refused to provide to zero sum . sawyer glanced at her . `` tam-ms. kincaid , excuse me , wo n't you ? there 's someone who 's expecting me . '' tamara had no doubt sawyer had switched from tam to her surname in order to mock her . still , she was grateful their encounter was at an end . unfortunately , she did n't think they 'd also put an end to the subject of a dynastic merger-marital , corporate or otherwise . three the bar of the carlyle hotel was as good a place as any for three notorious bachelors to lie low . or rather , two notorious bachelors and one notorious groom , sawyer amended . it was ironic for him to lie low , since he was the press . like his two fellow aristocrats , he 'd grown up here , there and everywhere . still , despite their peripatetic existence , he and his bar companions had managed to become friends . and now they had another thing in common . ever since the wedding fiasco at st. bart 's nearly two weeks ago , they were imbrued by the scandal of the moment . the bar , with its dark woods and mellow lighting , was masculine and clubby and the perfect atmosphere to come together and commiserate . it was also discreet without being sequestered . because sawyer would be damned if he was going to tuck in his tail and hide . `` hell of way to crash a wedding , easterbridge , '' james carsdale , duke of hawkshire , said , going straight to the heart of the matter . `` you could have given us some warning , '' sawyer added drily . sawyer had to admire colin 's sangfroid . of the three of them , the marquess was the most reserved and enigmatic . and now he 'd just thrown not one , but two ancient british families into upheaval with his surprising news at the wedding-and his shock-maximizing method of delivery . in response , colin granville , marquess of easterbridge , who 'd been the last to arrive , took a swallow of his scotch on the rocks . they were sitting at one corner of the bar , away from the few other patrons . since it was a hot and sunny day , and still a couple of hours from sunset , the dark bar was not even half-full . `` you 're the media , melton , and you were a groomsman , '' colin finally pointed out lazily . `` a double conflict of interest . you 'll understand why i did n't take you into my confidence . '' sawyer took issue . `` you know i was picked as a groomsman because dillingham and i are distantly related through our mothers . we 're not friendly in a true sense . '' `` yes , '' colin responded wryly , `` but that fact , along with your role as one of the world 's most famous press barons , made you dy***ite for the wedding party . the expectation of glowing press coverage was likely more than dillingham could pass up . not to mention cementing the extended family relationship . '' `` as it turned out , the only dy***ite at the wedding was you , and dillingham got more media coverage than he bargained for . '' in response , colin raised his glass in mock salute .

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["bargained", 4212], ["raise", 4248], ["raised", 4248], ["glass", 4258], ["salute", 4273]]

it was a flock of turkeys , scratching companionably in the earth beneath a large oak tree , turning up winter grubs from the mat of fallen leaves and acorns . the late sun shone low , lighting the iridescence in their breast feathers , so the birds ' drab black glimmered with tiny rainbows as they moved . she had the gun already loaded , but not primed . she groped for the powder flask at her belt and filled the pan , scarcely looking away from the birds . roger crouched beside her , intent as a hound dog on the scent . she nudged him , and held the gun toward him in invitation , one eyebrow up . the turkeys were no more than twenty yards away , and even the smaller ones were the size of footballs . he hesitated , but she could see the desire to try it in his eyes . she thrust the gun firmly into his hands and nodded toward a gap in the brush . he shifted carefully , trying for a clear line of sight . she had n't taught him to fire from a crouch as yet , and he wisely did n't try , instead standing , though it meant firing downward . he hesitated , the long barrel wavering as he shifted his aim from one bird to another , trying to choose the best shot . her fingers curled and clenched , aching to correct his aim , to pull the trigger . she felt him draw breath and hold it . then three things happened , so quickly as to seem simultaneous . the gun went off with a huge phwoom ! , a spray of dried oak leaves fountained up from the earth under the tree , and fifteen turkeys lost their minds , running like a demented football squad straight at them , gobbling hysterically . the turkeys reached the brush , saw roger , and took to the air like flying soccer balls , wings frantically clapping the air . roger ducked to avoid one that soared an inch above his head , only to be struck in the chest by another . he reeled backward , and the turkey , clinging to his shirt , seized the opportunity to run nimbly up his shoulder and push off , raking the side of his neck with its claws . the gun flew through the air . brianna caught it , flipped a cartridge from the box on her belt , and was grimly reloading and ramming as the last turkey ran toward roger , zigged away , saw her , zagged in the other direction , and finally zoomed between them , gobbling alarms and imprecations . she swung around , sighted on it as it left the ground , caught the black blob outlined for a split second against the brilliant sky , and blasted it in the tail feathers . it dropped like a sack of coal , and hit the ground forty yards away with an audible thud . she stood still for a moment , then slowly lowered the gun . roger was staring at her , openmouthed , pressing the cloth of his shirt against the bloody scratches on his neck . she smiled at him , a little weakly , feeling her hands sweaty on the wooden stock and her heart pounding with delayed reaction . `` holy god , '' roger said , deeply impressed . `` that was n't just luck , was it ? '' `` well ... some , '' she said , trying for modesty . she failed , and felt a grin blossom across her face . roger went to retrieve her prize while she cleaned the gun again , coming back with a ten-pound bird , limp-necked and leaking blood like a punctured waterskin . `` what a thing , '' he said . he held it at arm 's length to drain , admiring the vivid reds and blues of the bare , warty head and dangling wattle . `` i do n't think i 've ever seen one , save roasted on a platter , with chestnut dressing and roast potatoes . '' he looked from the turkey to her with great respect , and nodded at the gun . `` that 's great shooting , bree . '' she felt her cheeks flush with pleasure , and restrained the urge to say , `` aw , shucks , it war n't nothin ' , '' settling instead for a simple , `` thanks . '' they turned again toward home , roger still carrying the dripping carcass , held slightly out from his body . `` you have n't been shooting all that long , either , '' roger was saying , still impressed . `` what 's it been , six months ? '' she did n't want to lower his estimation of her prowess , but laughed , shrugged , and told the truth anyway . `` more like six years . really more like ten . '' `` daddy-frank-taught me to shoot when i was eleven or twelve . he gave me a twenty-two when i was thirteen , and by the time i was fifteen , he was taking me to shoot clay pigeons at ranges , or to hunt doves and quail on weekends in the fall . '' roger glanced at her in interest . `` i thought jamie 'd taught you ; i 'd no idea frank randall was such a sportsman . ''

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1660], ["airing", 1660], ["fly", 1672], ["flys", 1672], ["flying", 1672], ["soccer", 1679], ["soccers", 1679], ["ball", 1685], ["balls", 1685], ["wing", 1693], ["wings", 1693], ["frantically", 1705], ["clap", 1714], ["clapped", 1714], ["clapping", 1714], ["duck", 1737], ["ducked", 1737], ["avoid", 1746], ["soar", 1762], ["soared", 1762], ["inch", 1770], ["head", 1785], ["strike", 1805], ["struck", 1805], ["chest", 1818], ["reel", 1841], ["reeled", 1841], ["backward", 1850], ["turkey", 1867], ["cling", 1878], ["clinging", 1878], ["shirt", 1891], ["seize", 1900], ["seizes", 1900], ["seized", 1900], ["opportunity", 1916], ["run", 1923], ["nimbly", 1930], ["shoulder", 1946], ["shouldered", 1946], ["push", 1955], ["rake", 1968], ["raking", 1968], ["side", 1977], ["sidest", 1977], ["neck", 1989], ["necked", 1989], ["claws", 2004], ["fly", 2019], ["flys", 2019], ["flew", 2019], ["brianna", 2045], ["catch", 2052], ["catches", 2052], ["catched", 2052], ["caught", 2052], ["flip", 2065], ["flipping", 2065], ["flipped", 2065], ["cartridge", 2077], ["box", 2090], ["boxed", 2090], ["grimly", 2119], ["reload", 2129], ["reloading", 2129], ["ram", 2141], ["rams", 2141], ["ramming", 2141], ["last", 2153], ["run", 2164], ["ran", 2164], ["zigged", 2186], ["zigging", 2186], ["zagging", 2210], ["direction", 2233], ["finally", 2247], ["zoom", 2254], ["zoomed", 2254], ["alarm", 2285], ["alarms", 2285], ["imprecation", 2302], ["imprecations", 2302], ["swing", 2314], ["swung", 2314], ["around", 2321], ["sight", 2331], ["sighted", 2331], ["left", 2348], ["leave", 2348], ["ground", 2359], ["blob", 2383], ["blobs", 2383], ["outline", 2392], ["outlines", 2392], ["outlined", 2392], ["split", 2404], ["second", 2411], ["seconded", 2411], ["brilliant", 2433], ["sky", 2437], ["blast", 2451], ["blasted", 2451], ["tail", 2466], ["tailed", 2466], ["drop", 2488], ["dropped", 2488], ["sack", 2500], ["coal", 2508], ["hit", 2518], ["forty", 2535], ["audible", 2562], ["audibles", 2562], ["thud", 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["cleaned", 3125], ["come", 3148], ["coming", 3148], ["back", 3153], ["ten", 3164], ["pound", 3170], ["limp", 3182], ["limps", 3182], ["limping", 3182], ["leak", 3201], ["leaking", 3201], ["blood", 3207], ["bloods", 3207], ["blooded", 3207], ["waterskin", 3234], ["thing", 3252], ["arm", 3285], ["length", 3295], ["drain", 3304], ["admire", 3315], ["admiring", 3315], ["vivid", 3325], ["red", 3330], ["reds", 3330], ["blue", 3340], ["blues", 3340], ["bare", 3352], ["warty", 3360], ["dangle", 3378], ["dangling", 3378], ["wattle", 3385], ["think", 3405], ["thinkest", 3405], ["ever", 3416], ["everest", 3416], ["see", 3421], ["seen", 3421], ["save", 3432], ["roast", 3440], ["roasted", 3440], ["platter", 3453], ["chestnut", 3469], ["chestnuts", 3469], ["dressing", 3478], ["roast", 3488], ["potato", 3497], ["potatos", 3497], ["potatoes", 3497], ["look", 3512], ["looked", 3512], ["great", 3546], ["respect", 3554], ["bree", 3613], ["brees", 3613], ["cheek", 3638], ["cheeks", 3638], ["flush", 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actually , i surprised myself by deciding to fly down at the last minute . '' surprised was an understatement , as far as justine was concerned . no man on earth had a right to look this good . refusing him would have required more effort than she could possibly muster . oh , yes , she wanted to dance with him . wanted to slide into his arms , be held by him ... rather than attempt to respond verbally-at the rate she was going she had n't a clue what might actually come out of her mouth-she nodded and put her wineglass on a nearby table . seth led her onto the dance floor and turned her into his embrace . naturally-fittingly-the band was playing a slow dance and she lifted her arms as he held her loosely . justine was amazed at how well-suited they were physically . at five-ten and in heels , she was taller than most of the men , but seth still had several inches on her . she rested her head against his shoulder and breathed in his clean , outdoor scent . this was the first time she 'd ever danced with him . the music was mesmerizing and it was all she could do not to close her eyes and give herself completely over to it . that could n't happen , especially with seth . she could n't allow herself to be trapped in the magic of the moment . she refused to let her guard down , certain that as soon as she did , seth would ask her about warren , or the engagement . `` i did , too , '' he said after a minute . `` came here alone , i mean . '' he wrapped his hand around hers and brought it to his chest . justine felt the solid , steady beat of his heart . it seemed to travel through her hand and the pulse in her wrist , directly to her own heart . his eyes held her , and with their steps in unison , this was the most sensual , seductive moment of her life . when the love song ended , seth released her . she moved away from him and clapped politely . `` do you have a table yet ? '' `` lana asked me to sit with her and jay . '' `` well , jay invited me to sit with him and lana , '' seth told her , eyes twinkling . so the rothchilds were involved in a little matchmaking . just now , it was very easy to forgive them . `` the buffet is n't until nine . '' `` i know , '' she said , wondering if he was inviting her to dance again . if so , he did n't need to ask . when the music started , they moved toward each other as though magnetically drawn . other than the few times they stopped to talk to friends , justine and seth danced every dance . soon the buffet table was ready and a line of revelers straggled around the gym floor . seth bought them each a glass of wine and sat next to her at the table for eight . it was n't long before justine fell into conversation with the others . soon pictures of her classmates ' children were passed around and she found herself looking at the cherubic faces and listening to stories full of love and pride . justine carried a small photograph of her newborn niece and showed it to seth . `` james is married ? `` earlier in the year . is n't isabella beautiful ? '' justine had made a firm decision not to be a mother , but as she studied the photographs she was handed , she felt an intense and unexpected longing . it would eventually pass ; she recognized that , even as she struggled to deal with a slew of unwelcome emotions . `` excuse me , '' she said , getting to her feet . instead of heading for the ladies ' room , justine walked outside , out the front door , letting the cool air revive her . she leaned against the flagpole and closed her eyes , breathing in the night air and with it the return of her rational self . she was n't like those people back inside the school . she was separate , different . not above them , just not one of them . she 'd known it in high school and felt it even more profoundly ten years out . seth joined her . she was quick to assure him that everything was fine , but he was n't fooled . she could n't explain to seth , of all people , that she 'd come outside in order to clear her head and put her life back in perspective . `` you look like you 're about to cry , '' seth commented . she turned away , but seth caught her hand and drew her gently into his arms . she could have resisted at any time-but did n't . she knew he intended to kiss her even before his lips claimed hers . this was n't their first kiss , but justine had conveniently forgotten what this man was capable of doing to her resolve . the effect of his kisses was like putting a match to lighter fluid , each one hotter and more explosive .

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i must have dropped the peppers when you grabbed me , '' she said . she started toward the door , then turned back , distress in her eyes . he and kell were walking into the living room , and sullivan stopped , looking back at her . `` my dog , '' she said , a faint trembling in her voice . `` he 's always there when i go outside . why did n't he '' understanding was in those wild golden eyes . i 've got him tied up in that pine thicket . had a helluva time outsmarting him . that 's a nice animal . '' relief made her weak . `` i 'll go untie him , then . you did n't ... hurt him in any way ? '' he 's about a hundred yards down , just to the left of that little trail . '' she ran down the trail , her heart thudding ; joe was right where sullivan had said he would be , tied securely to a tall pine , and the dog was furious . he even snarled at rachel , but she talked softly to him and approached him at a slow , measured pace , calming him before she knelt beside him to untie the rope around his neck . even then she kept talking , giving him small , quick pats , and the snarls diminished in his throat . finally he accepted a hug from her , and for the first time gave her a welcoming lick . `` come on , let 's go home , '' she said , getting to her feet . she collected the peppers from where she had dropped them on the back steps and left joe prowling around the house . she washed her hands and began preparing the sauce , listening to the quiet rumble of the men 's voices from the living room . now that she had met sullivan she understood kell 's confidence in him . he was ... incredible . and kell was even more so . seeing them together made her realize anew the caliber of the man she loved , and she reeled under the shock of that realization . it was almost an hour before she called them to the table , and the sun was a fierce red ball low on the horizon , a reminder that now her time with kell was truly running out . would they be leaving soon ? deliberately , to get her mind off her fears , she kept the conversation going . it was remarkably difficult , with both men being the way they were , until finally she hit on the right subject . `` kell told me that you 're married , mr . he nodded , a curious lightening of his expression making him seem less formidable . `` jane is my wife . '' he said it as if everyone knew jane . there was no mistaking the look of intense pride that came over the hard , scarred face . they 're six months old . '' for some reason kell was looking amused again . `` i did n't know twins ran in your family , grant . '' `` they do n't , '' sullivan growled . `` or in jane 's , either . even the damn doctor did n't know . she took everybody by surprise . '' `` that 's not unusual , '' kell said , and they looked at each other , grinning . `` the hell of it is , she went into labor two weeks early , in the middle of a snowstorm . all the roads were closed , and i could n't get her to a hospital . i had to deliver them . '' for a moment there was a look of desperation in his eyes , and a faint sheen of perspiration broke out on his forehead . `` twins , '' he said faintly . i told her not to ever do that to me again , but you know jane . '' kell laughed out loud , his rare deep laugh making pleasure shimmer through rachel . `` next time she 'll probably have triplets . '' sullivan glared at him . `` do n't even think it , '' he muttered . rachel lifted a forkful of spaghetti to her mouth . `` i do n't think it 's jane 's fault that she had twins , or that it snowed . '' `` logically , no , '' sullivan admitted . `` but logic flies out the window when jane walks in the door . '' `` i kidnapped her , '' he said offhandedly , leaving rachel gasping , because he offered no other explanation . `` how did you get away from her ? '' kell asked , provoking another glare . `` it was n't easy , but she could n't leave the kids . '' sullivan leaned back in his chair , an unholy light entering his eyes . `` you 're going to have to go back with me to explain . '' kell looked alarmed , then resigned ; finally he grinned . i want to see you with these babies . '' `` they 're already crawling . you have to watch where you step , '' the proud father said , grinning in return .

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`` okay , i 'll be back before you know it . '' she smiled before she left , expertly weaving between tables . carrie unwound the wool scarf from her neck and removed her jacket . she could be adult about this . while it was true that they had n't expected to run into each other , she could cope . the noise around them was almost deafening , but the silence between them seemed louder . when she could n't stand it any longer , she said , `` it 's very sweet of mackenzie to do this . '' `` do n't be fooled , '' he returned gruffly . `` mackenzie knew exactly what she was doing . '' carrie hated to be defensive , but she did n't like his tone or his implication . `` she set this up so you and i would be forced to spend time together . '' he made it sound like a fate worse than high taxes . `` come on , philip , i 'm not such a terrible person . '' `` as far as i 'm concerned , that 's the problem . '' she took a bread stick from the tall glass in the middle of the table and broke it in half . `` are you suggesting i actually tempt you ? '' `` i would n't go that far , so do n't flatter yourself . '' she knew a bluff when she heard one . `` if anyone should be flattered it 's you . first , i 'm at least eight years younger than you , with endless possibilities when it comes to finding myself a man . what makes you think i 'd be interested in an ill-tempered , unfriendly , almost middle-aged grump ? '' `` two can play that game , philip . '' `` i almost believed you , you know . you were taking advantage of the dark ? really , you might 've been a bit more original . '' `` but no one 's that good an actor . you 're attracted to me , but you 're scared to let go of the rein you 've got on your emotions . i 'm not sure what your problem is , but my guess is that it has to do with your divorce . if you 're content to spend the rest of your days alone , far be it from me to stop you . '' she took a bite of the bread stick , chomping down hard . mackenzie had their order . she carried the tray above her head as she reversed her previous journey among the tables . her eyes were bright with excitement when she rejoined them . she handed one thick ceramic plate to carrie . `` pastrami on whole wheat , no pickle and extra mustard . '' `` perfect , '' carrie said , taking the plate from her . she was grateful mackenzie had returned when she did , unsure she could continue her own bluff much longer . as it was , philip had no opportunity to challenge her statement , which was exactly the way she wanted it . mackenzie distributed the rest of the sandwiches , set the tray aside and flopped down in the seat between carrie and philip . `` do n't you just love the holidays ? '' she asked before biting into her sandwich . philip 's eyes locked with carrie 's . `` sure do , '' he said , but carrie saw that he was gritting his teeth . from the way philip tore into the sandwich , anyone would think he had n't eaten in a week . it was as though they were taking part in a contest to see who 'd finish first . philip won . the minute he swallowed the last bite , he stood , thanked his daughter and excused himself . `` he 's going back to work , '' mackenzie explained sadly as she watched her father leave . `` he 's always going back to the office . '' `` inviting us both to lunch was very thoughtful of you , '' carrie said , `` but your father seems to think you asked us to suit your own purposes . '' mackenzie lowered her gaze . `` all right , i did , but is that such a bad thing ? i like you better than anyone . it 's clear that my dad 's never going to get married again without my help . my parents have been divorced for three years now and he 's never even gone out on a real date . '' `` mackenzie , your father needs time . '' he 's had more than enough time ! he ca n't keep going through life like this . he 's put everything on hold while he tries to forget what my mother did . i want him to marry you . '' carrie exhaled sharply . she could n't allow the girl to believe that dealing with human emotions was this simple . `` i ca n't marry your father just because you want me to . '' `` yes , i do , very much , but there 's so much more to marriage than me liking your father . '' `` but he cares about you . i know he does , only he 's afraid to let it show . ''

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i felt the tears prickle at the edge of my eyes , and i knew they were going to fall , and he was going to see them , and there was n't a damn thing i could do to stop it . i took a deep breath , and my chin quivered a bit . `` liv , '' he started , but i held up one hand to stop him as i used the other to swipe at my face . `` believe it or not , now 's a good time to shut up , tobias . '' `` do n't be , '' i said , meeting his eye as dryly as i could . then i turned on my heel and headed out toward the road , ignoring him as he called my name . happy larry 's is exactly the kind of windowless pit of doom you 'd expect from a dive called happy larry 's , but there are days when a girl needs to match her bar with her mood , and that day , happy larry 's was a match . happy larry , scruffy and growly in his mangy , sleeveless management reserves the right to kick your ass t-shirt , did not appear to be very happy with my appearance in his establishment . you could never tell with larry ; between the untamed beard and coke-bottle glasses , he was a hard man to read on facial expression alone . he growled , confirming my original suspicion . i took a stool and leaned over the bar . `` i 'm here for the same reason that everyone else is here . too miserable to be anywhere respectable , not quite ready to jump off a bridge . '' larry stared at me . i reached into my front jeans pocket and slammed a twenty down on the bar . `` serve me whatever is going to get me drunk the fastest . you got anything in an iv drip ? '' happy larry 's expression remained unchanged . i drummed my fingers on the bar for a moment while i deliberated , then made the call . `` make it tequila . '' happy larry grunted something , but he took the twenty , then set a salt shaker , a shot glass , and a slice of lime in front of me . he pulled a bottle of tequila out , and filled the shot glass . i stared at it for a moment , then glanced up at him . `` how many calories are in this ? '' happy larry stared at me blankly . `` i 'm going on a diet , '' i said glumly . `` starting today . when i get on that plane , i 'm going to be svelte . '' nothing from larry . jesus , it was tough to crack this guy . maybe not svelte . but i wan na wear my skinny jeans . i figure fifteen hundred calories a day ought to do it , and you know what that is , larry ? that 's two pieces of lettuce and a whiff of a chocolate-chip cookie . so , what i 'm asking you , larry , is ... how many calories ? '' happy larry continued to stare at me . `` so you do n't ... know ? the calories ? '' i bet stacy never asks about the calorie content . `` it 's early in the day , i 'll look it up and adjust for it later . or , you know . maybe start tomorrow . you got ta work your way up to these things . '' then i salted my hand , licked it , downed the shot , and sucked the lime . i said as i nudged the empty shot glass back at an obviously surprised happy larry . i know how to drink tequila . he shook his head as he poured . `` you puke on my floor , you 're cleaning it up . '' `` god , happy . one time , i puked on your floor . i salted my hand , did the shot , then shook my head . i may not have gotten rid of the tingling in my hands , but now the rest of my body at least matched . the sharp edges of agitation that had been poking at me seemed to soften a bit , and i felt my spirits lift . `` tequila 's good . gim me another . '' he stuffed the twenty in the till , gave me two fives and three ones in return . `` grudge holder . '' i swiped my money off the counter and shoved it back in my pocket , then swiveled around on my seat to take in the place . the only other customers were frankie biggs and doug holt , playing a game of pool in the back , and some guy sitting in a booth in the dark corner opposite , scraggly hair hanging down as he leaned over his glass . i let my gaze wander back to the pool table , and frankie biggs . another man who could n't keep his hands off of stacy easter . `` i 'm gon na go play pool , '' i announced . happy larry motioned toward the pool tables . `` i care deeply . '' i got off the bar stool with a little trouble - wow , i 'm a cheap date - and when i looked up , my eyes locked with the guy in the corner .

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the crowd was still now , no longer surging to and fro , and it was not so difficult to make my way between the muttering clusters of seamen , many of whom frowned or looked startled as i ducked past them . the warehouse was disused ; no bales or casks filled the echoing shadows of the huge room , but the scents of sawn lumber , smoked meat , and fish lingered , easily distinguishable from the host of other smells . the sick man had been hastily dumped near the door , on a pile of discarded straw packing . his attendants pushed past me as i entered , eager to get away . i approached him cautiously , stopping a few feet away . he was flushed with fever , his skin a queer dark red , scabbed thick with white pustules . he moaned and tossed his head restlessly from side to side , cracked mouth working as though in search of water . `` get me some water , '' i said to one of the sailors standing nearby . the man , a short , muscular fellow with his beard tarred into ornamental spikes , merely stared as though he had found himself suddenly addressed by a fish . turning my back on him impatiently , i sank to my knees by the sick man and opened his filthy shirt . he stank abominably ; probably none too clean to start with , he had been left to lie in his own filth , his fellows afraid to touch him . his arms were relatively clear , but the pustules clustered thickly down his chest and stomach , and his skin was burning to the touch . jamie had come in while i made my examination , accompanied by jared . with them was a small , pear-shaped man in a gold-swagged official 's coat and two other men , one a nobleman or a rich bourgeois by his dress ; the other a tall , lean individual , clearly a seafarer from his complexion . probably the captain of the plague ship , if that 's what it was . and that 's what it appeared to be . i had seen smallpox many times before , in the uncivilized parts of the world to which my uncle lamb , an eminent archaeologist , had taken me during my early years . this fellow was n't pissing blood , as sometimes happened when the disease attacked the kidneys , but otherwise he had every classic symptom . `` i 'm afraid it is smallpox , '' i said . the patagonia 's captain gave a sudden howl of anguish , and stepped toward me , face contorted , raising his hand as though to strike me . `` fool of a woman ! salope ! femme sans cervelle ! do you want to ruin me ? '' the last word was cut off in a gurgle as jamie 's hand closed on his throat . the other hand twisted hard in the man 's shirtfront , lifting him onto his toes . `` i should prefer you to address my wife with respect , monsieur , '' jamie said , rather mildly . the captain , face turning purple , managed a short , jerky nod , and jamie dropped him . he took a step back , wheezing , and sidled behind his companion as though for refuge , rubbing his throat . the tubby little official was bending cautiously over the sick man , holding a large silver pomander on a chain close to his nose as he did so . outside , the level of noise dropped suddenly as the crowd pulled back from the warehouse doors to admit another canvas stretcher . the man before us sat up suddenly , startling the little official so that he nearly fell over . the man stared wildly around the warehouse , then his eyes rolled back in his head , and he fell back onto the straw as though he 'd been poleaxed . he had n't , but the end result was much the same . `` he 's dead , '' i said , unnecessarily . the official , recovering his dignity along with his pomander , stepped in once more , looked closely at the body , straightened up and announced , `` smallpox . the lady is correct . i 'm sorry , monsieur le comte , but you know the law as well as anyone . '' the man he addressed sighed impatiently . he glanced at me , frowning , then jerked his head at the official . `` i 'm sure this can be arranged , monsieur pamplemousse . please , a moment 's private conversation ... '' he motioned toward the deserted foreman 's hut that stood some distance away , a small derelict structure inside the larger building . a nobleman by dress as well as by title , monsieur le comte was a slender , elegant sort , with heavy brows and thin lips . his entire attitude proclaimed that he was used to getting his way . but the little official was backing away , hands held out before him as though in self-defense . `` non , monsieur le comte , '' he said , `` je le regrette , mais c'est impossible ... .it can not be done . the news will be all over the docks by now . ''

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jamie had poured water from his canteen onto a handkerchief ; he fed the tip of it between her lips to wet them , and roger saw her throat move in reflex as she sucked . `` ye 'll be all right , '' roger whispered to her . `` it 's all right , a leannan . '' `` who has done this , a nighean ? '' jamie asked , just as gently . roger saw that she understood ; the question stirred the surface of her eyes like wind on a pond-but then passed over , leaving them calm again . she did not speak , no matter what questions they asked , only looked at them with incurious eyes , and went on sucking dreamily at the wet cloth . `` are ye baptized , a leannan ? '' jamie asked her at last , and roger felt a deep jolt at the question . in the shock of finding her , he had not truly taken in her condition . `` elle ne peut pas vivre , '' jamie said softly , his eyes meeting roger 's . she can not live . his first instinct was a visceral denial . of course she could live , she must . but huge patches of her skin were gone , the raw flesh crusted but still oozing . he could see the white edge of a knee bone , and literally see her heart beating , a reddish , translucent bulge that pulsed at the notch of her rib cage . she was light as a corn-dolly , and he became painfully aware that she seemed to float in his arms , like a slick of oil on water . `` does it hurt , sweetheart ? '' then she closed her eyes and would say no more , only muttering `` mama ? '' he had thought at first they would take her back to the ridge , to claire . but it was more than a day 's ride ; she would n't make it . not possibly . he swallowed , realization closing on his throat like a noose . he looked at jamie , seeing the same sick acknowledgment in his eyes . jamie swallowed , too . `` do ye ... know her name ? '' roger could scarcely breathe , and forced the words . jamie shook his head , then gathered himself , hunching his shoulders . she had stopped sucking , but still murmured `` mama ? '' jamie took the handkerchief from her lips and squeezed a few drops from it onto her blackened forehead , whispering the words of baptism . then they looked at each other , acknowledging necessity . jamie was pale , sweat beading on his upper lip among the bristles of red beard . he took a deep breath , steeling himself , and lifted his hands , offering . `` no , '' roger said softly . she was his ; he could no more surrender her to another than he could have torn off an arm . he reached for the handkerchief , and jamie put it into his hand , soot-stained , still damp . he 'd never thought of such a thing , and could n't think now . he did n't need to ; without hesitation , he cradled her close and put the handkerchief over her nose and mouth , then clamped his hand tight over the cloth , feeling the small bump of her nose caught snug between his thumb and index finger . wind stirred in the leaves above , and a rain of gold fell on them , whispering on his skin , brushing cool past his face . she would be cold , he thought , and wished to cover her , but had no hand to spare . his other arm was round her , hand resting on her chest ; he could feel the tiny heart beneath his fingers . it jumped , beat rapidly , skipped , beat twice more ... and stopped . it quivered for a moment ; he could feel it trying to find enough strength to beat one last time , and suffered the momentary illusion that it would not only do so , but would force its way through the fragile wall of her chest and into his hand in its urge to live . but the moment passed , as did the illusion , and a great stillness came . near at hand , a raven called . they had almost finished the burying , when the sound of hooves and jingling harness announced visitors-a lot of visitors . roger , ready to decamp into the woods , glanced at his father-in-law , but jamie shook his head , answering his unasked question . `` nay , they 'd no come back . his bleak gaze took in the smoking ruin of the homestead , the trampled dooryard , and the low mounds of the graves . the little girl still lay nearby , covered with roger 's cloak . he had n't been able to bear putting her into the ground just yet ; the knowledge of her alive was still too recent . jamie straightened , stretching his back . roger saw him glance to see that his rifle was to hand , leaning against a tree trunk . then he settled himself , leaning on the scorched board he had been using as a shovel , waiting .

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if charles stuart were dead , the battle of culloden might not take place . one life , against two thousand . one life-but that life a royal one , and taken not in battle , but in cold blood . the small room where we sat had a hearth , but a fire had not been lit-there was no fuel . jamie sat gazing at it as though seeking an answer in invisible flames . not only murder , but regicide . not only murder , but the killing of a sometime friend . and yet-the clansmen of the highlands shivered already on the open moor , shifting in their serried ranks as the plan of battle was adjusted , rearranged , reordered , as more men drifted to join them . among them were the mackenzies of leoch , the frasers of beauly , four hundred men of jamie 's blood . and the thirty men of lallybroch , his own . his face was blank , immobile as he thought , but the hands laced together on his knee knotted tight with the struggle . the crippled fingers and the straight strove together , twisting . i sat beside him , scarcely daring to breathe , awaiting his decision . at last the breath went from him in an almost inaudible sigh , and he turned to me , a look of unutterable sadness in his eyes . his hand touched my face briefly , cupping my cheek . `` would god that i could , sassenach . the wave of relief that washed through me robbed me of speech , but he saw what i felt , and grasped my hands between his own . `` oh , god , jamie , i 'm glad of it ! '' he bowed his head over my hands . i turned my head to lay my cheek against his hair , and froze . in the doorway , watching me with a look of absolute revulsion , was dougal mackenzie . the last months had aged him ; rupert 's death , the sleepless nights of fruitless argument , the strains of the hard campaign , and now the bitterness of imminent defeat . there were gray hairs in the russet beard , a gray look to his skin , and deep lines in his face that had not been there in november . with a shock , i realized that he looked like his brother , colum . he had wanted to lead , dougal mackenzie . now he had inherited the chieftainship , and was paying its price . `` filthy ... traitorous ... whoring ... witch ! '' jamie jerked as though he had been shot , face gone white as the sleet outside . i sprang to my feet , overturning the bench with a clatter that echoed through the room . dougal mackenzie advanced on me slowly , putting aside the folds of his cloak , so that the hilt of his sword was freed to his hand . i had n't heard the door behind me open ; it must have stood ajar . how long had he been on the other side , listening ? `` i should have known it ; from the first i saw ye , i should have known . '' his eyes were fixed on me , something between horror and fury in the cloudy green depths . there was a sudden stir in the air beside me ; jamie was there , a hand on my arm , urging me back behind him . `` dougal , '' he said . `` it isna what ye think , man . it's- '' `` no ? '' dougal cut in . his gaze left me for a second , and i shrank behind jamie , grateful for the respite . `` not what i think ? '' he said , still speaking softly . `` i hear the woman urging ye to foul murder-to the murder of your prince ! not only vile murder , but treason as well ! and ye tell me i havena heard it ? '' he shook his head , the tangled russet curls lank and greasy on his shoulders . like the rest of us , he was starving ; the bones jutted in his face , but his eyes burned from their shadowy orbits . `` i dinna blame ye , lad , '' he said . his voice was suddenly weary , and i remembered that he was a man in his fifties . `` it isna your fault , jamie . she 's bewitched ye-anyone can see that . '' his mouth twisted as he looked again at me . `` aye , i ken weel enough how it 's been for ye . she 's worked the same sorcery on me , betimes . '' his eyes raked over me , burning . `` a murdering , lying slut , would take a man by the c*ck and lead him to his doom , wi ' her claws sunk deep in his balls . that 's the spell that they lay on ye , lad-she and the other witch . take ye to their beds and steal the soul from you as ye lie sleeping wi ' your head on their br**sts .

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["soul", 4103], ["lay", 4122], ["lie", 4122], ["lain", 4122], ["slept", 4131], ["sleep", 4131], ["sleeps", 4131], ["sleepest", 4131], ["sleeping", 4131]]

`` alex , i 'm exhausted . can you come back tomorrow and we will figure out all the details . jacob is still waking up a couple of times each night and i was n't able to take a nap this afternoon . '' `` i 'll sleep in the spare room . i want to be here when jacob wakes up , '' he said , once again with that voice of authority . jessica was far too tired to argue with him any further . the thought of him sleeping only one wall away from her , was enough to cause her stomach to tighten . she figured she would need to get used to it as they would reside in the same house soon . she knew he would n't go for her staying where she was now . the entire reason he wanted them married was so he could be with his son and protect his family name . `` i 'm going to bed , '' was all she said , as she left the table . alex stayed where he was for several minutes after she left . he was barely able to stay awake himself but the thought of her in bed just down the hall was playing havoc with his senses . their one time together had been in a dark elevator and over far too quickly . he would be able to bring them both so much more pleasure in a comfortable bed . his groin strained against the zipper of his jeans . he groaned aloud and then headed towards her bathroom for a cold shower . he would n't be taking them nightly . once they were married , they would n't be sleeping in separate rooms . that was the only thought keeping him from entering her room . alex was awakened by the whimpering sound of his son . he looked at the clock , noticing it was three in the morning . he walked into jacob 's room and gazed down at him in the crib . he was so tiny and fragile . jacob started kicking his legs in excitement as soon as he spotted alex , which filled him with warmth . alex picked him up , feeling he had a full diaper . he was grateful for the days he 'd babysat his beautiful niece . he 'd learned how to change her so he knew what to do with his son . `` you ready to get out of that yucky diaper ? '' he cooed to his son . jacob answered him with a giggle and kicked his legs some more . alex changed him , then moved to the rocking chair and cuddled him for a while . jacob 's temperament changed after about ten minutes though and he looked as if he was going to start throwing a fit again . even after only a day with him , alex knew his son wanted to be fed . `` let 's go wake your mom . i certainly ca n't feed you , '' alex said to jacob with a little chuckle . he stepped into her room with the light softly shining in from the hallway . his breath was taken away by her unguarded , peaceful expression . in sleep she seemed so young and innocent . she did n't look like she could possibly be old enough to be a mother . jacob started wiggling in his arms , reminding him that it was time to eat . that snapped alex out of his trance . the movement woke jessica and she sat upright . she asked in a panic , getting ready to jump up . `` it 's okay , '' alex said , while placing a hand on her shoulder in reassurance . `` jacob woke up and he 's hungry . i already changed him , so if you feed him , then i will burp him and put him back to bed , '' he explained . jessica was still disoriented but held her arms out for her child . we do this every night , '' she pled . she really did n't want him there with her body exposed . in the middle of the night it would be so much harder to not throw herself at alex . she did n't need to show him how much he still affected her . `` i want to be with him . if you got some of that bottle stuff then i could take over the night feedings , '' he said hopefully . jessica had to smile a bit at his lack of knowledge over the name , formula . `` no , i like our nighttimes , '' she said simply . she figured it was dark enough she could feed her baby without having to cover him up . she liked to watch his precious face as he ate . she could gently caress his head and sooth him . he liked it too and would fall asleep quickly after he burped . when jacob made a little growling noise followed by gulping sounds , alex let out a quiet laugh , making jacob jump . surprisingly he stayed latched on and slurped away . `` my son likes his food , '' alex stated proudly . jessica smiled at alex for the first time in the dim room . her face had lost the guarded expression .

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the streetlight didnt quite reach the patio , and the outside lights hadnt been turned on . probably i should go back inside . i started for the door just as he crossed the sidewalk . i reached for my purse , and the blood drained from my face . i left the stun gun inside with ricki . with my back pressed to the wall , i moved towards the door . i had my fingers on the handle when j.j. walked through and blocked it . wherere going , baby ? arent you happy to see me ? scott sneered with a smarmy tone that made my skin crawl . you know youre not allowed this close to me . you ready to go back to jail ? missing your boyfriend ? oh yeah , when in danger , be a smart ass . this is always a good plan ! j.j. snickered and reached out to grab me . jerking my arm out of range , i swung around , kicking him squarely in the chest , sending him flying backwards through the open doorway . scott charged me and snatched at my arm . i aimed a roundhouse kick at his crotch , but he turned at the last second so i caught him in the thigh instead . he grunted at the impact , but didnt go down . he swung a fist into my cheek that sent me swaying and nearly falling to my knees . i planted my feet and shook my head to clear it . a voice inside my head was screaming at me to yell for help , but i couldnt seem to get the words out . chuckling softly , scott circled me with his eyes locked onto mine . the madness i saw made my stomach clench . like watching a rabid dog , i kept my eyes glued to his every movement . the thought tumbled through my mind , but i was frozen in place until decs face swam in my memory . he said to call his name . feeling stupid , but desperate , i whispered , declan ? scott made a sound , not quite a laugh , and moved in for the kill . j.j. was pissed and closing in on me too . a truck squealed to a stop in the side driveway . someone opened its back door , shouting at scott to hurry the fuck up . scott didnt plan to attack me again and leave me here . he and his friends were going to take me someplace private . someplace they could play with their new toy before they broke it and threw it in the landfill . cold sweat poured down my back . if i got into that truck , i would never get away . i would be helpless , and no one would see me again . well that wasnt going to happen without mass casualties . my adrenaline was running on high , and i was going on autopilot . i kept them at bay for about 30 seconds , but i was outnumbered , and they were both much stronger than me . they were slowly backing me into a corner when j.j. shoved me hard from the side , sending me flying against the wall . the pain took my breath away . dazed , i lost focus for a second just as scotts fist connected with my temple . as my knees buckled , someone suddenly caught me under the arms . out of nowhere , dec had showed . sean and killian also appeared . they took about a second to size up the situation before attacking . both of their eyes were burning like a hot blue flame . scott and j.j. backed away . the truck roared off . whats wrong with you freaks ? without a word , sean and killian attacked with a ferocity that sent warning bells clanging in my head again . where did they learn to fight like that ? it was freakin amazing . terrifying , but amazing . scott and j.j. tried to put up a fight at first , but were so outmatched it was almost sad . sean and killian swatted aside any punches they threw while pummeling them into bloody wrecks . realizing they were about to die , they tried to run away . in a split second , sean and killian had both men pressed against the wall . killian held j.j. off his feet by his neck . j.j.s eyes bulged in terror . he made strangling noises while frantically kicking his legs . killian stared coldly , and said , give me one reason to let you live . j.j. started babbling , and killian squeezed his throat harder . sean had scott pinned to the wall with his forearm against his throat . the lines of his face were rock hard , eyes still burning . he didnt look completely human . scott was panicking . his mouth was open in a scream , but no sound came out . he was looking around wildly for help , but there was no one to help him . he appealed to me . sean said , im getting tired of kicking your ass . you just dont learn . then he pressed down on scotts throat . seans words faded into silence . i was losing consciousness , struggling to stay awake .

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smiling hard at him and squeezing his waist , i ask , `` so what are the rules ? '' his eyes widen comically as he asks , `` there are rules ? '' rolling my eyes at his dramatics , i utter , `` uh , yeah . if we 're going to do this , we both need to be on the same page . so i 'll go first . '' i tilt my head and narrow my eyes in thought before i gasp , `` no talking about feelings . '' ash nods his agreement , `` yeah , that shit 's for pussies . he thinks a moment then smiles a saucy smile , `` if there 's a door with a lock , anywhere is fair game . '' leaning back to look up at him in disbelief , i say , `` wow . i 'm for it . '' i rub his chest absentmindedly thinking , then say , `` we can call on each other at any hour . kneading my ass with his large hands , he responds , `` fuck yeah . he looks down at me seriously . `` you sure you want to do this , pretty girl ? i can be very demanding . '' scoffing , i reply , `` oh , honey . i mentally smirk . chapter fourteen skeletons in the closet ... everyone has them waking with a smile on my face , i squint over at the digital alarm clock . the blaring red numbers flash 5:25am . i am so tired but deliriously happy . that 's what three orgasms in an hour will do to a woman . we only arrived home a couple of hours ago . the rest of last night went perfectly . when i say it went perfectly , i mean when asher and i re-emerged from our sex den , all we had to do was call each other a few choice names while giving each other dirty looks and no one suspected a thing . at least , i think they did n't . tina looked a little shocked when ash demanded i wait for him so we can go home together , but when he mentioned that he wanted to check my apartment to make sure it was safe , tina got all dreamy happy . and i seriously wanted to slap her . lola and trick were wrapped up in each other , being all cute and so them , not even noticing we were gone . mimi and nik kept narrowing their eyes at my lips which i 'm sure were pink and puffy from the rough kissing during the sexiness , but i just looked at them with a confused expression on my face as if i could n't work out what they were looking at . mimi straight-up frowned at me but let it go . nik just shook his head as if clearing it . score : nat 1 - the world 0 . we spent the rest of the night talking and laughing at the booth . max and i were huddled close , flirting and touching . ash was not happy about that . the look on his face was enough to see he was seething . and moronically , it made me feel good to see his jealous side come out . so , of course , i played a little harder . kissing max 's cheek and whispering dirty nothings into his ear until around 3am when ash pulled me up by my arm and announced we were leaving . not even giving me a chance to give more than a goodbye wave , he dragged me to his hot-as-hell muscle car and helped me in . when i was in and ready to go , he turned his scowling face to me and demanded , `` suck me . '' my heart thumped excitedly . putting on my sexy smile , i unbuttoned his jeans and whispered , `` gladly . '' it was dirty and awesome . there we were in the front seat of his sexy car , in the white rabbit 's parking lot with his seat pushed back . me , leaning over the seat to take him into my mouth , my bare ass in the air , a free show to anyone who walked past . by the time ash was ready to blow , i was ready to blow myself . through a groan , he said `` it 's coming , girl . i did n't respond , just bobbed my head faster and deeper . he stroked my hair and whispered , `` dirty girl . you want my load ? take it , baby . '' with every jerk of his orgasm , warm saltiness filled my mouth . and like the good girl i am , i swallowed it up then wiped the sides of my mouth . smiling up at him , i returned to my seat , buckled up and off we went . when we arrived home , he did n't say goodnight , just slapped my ass when he walked by me to his apartment . my face scrunched , i rubbed my sore butt and mouthed ow at him . he just winked at me then went into his apartment . now , i 'm not one hundred percent sure , but i think that was a warning about being too openly frivolous with mad max .

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`` it 's that old saying , 'write what you know . ' that and the fact that you do write very , very well . '' she braved a small smile at that . but you know , if writers only wrote what they know , the world would be full of boring books . we ca n't all be ernest hemingway . '' well , no , violet certainly was n't him . something for which gavin was profoundly grateful at the moment . in fact , there were a lot of things he was grateful for at the moment . but he did n't want to think too much about any of them right now . in fact , all he wanted to do right now was kiss violet again . so he covered what little distance she 'd put between them and did just that . violet was n't sure when the moment went from one of under standing to one of overwhelming . she only knew that in one instant , gavin had finally accepted the truth about her and the next ... oh , the next . the next she was feeling something she 'd felt for a few brief moments earlier in the evening , when gavin was teaching her to dance . something she 'd never felt before , only now she was feeling it a million times more strongly . it was the kind of thing that made a person feel ... close ... to another person . the kind of thing she had been certain she was n't wired to feel . feeling it again now , like this , it was as if a door had opened up inside her and let loose something that had been held captive for too long . she wanted to keep feeling it , wanted to see how fast and how far it would go . but as he captured her mouth with his more urgently , as his fingers curled more insistently over her hips , her thoughts evaporated . it had been so long since a man had touched her so intimately . so long since she had felt the rush of need rocketing through her that demanded satisfaction . so long since she had wanted and been wanted like this . still kissing her , gavin moved a hand upward , over her rib cage , dragging his fingers lightly over each rib as he passed . violet sucked in her breath as he pushed his hand higher , holding it when he stopped at the lower curve of her breast . she thought he would close his fingers over her completely but he surprised-and disappointed-her by pushing his hand along the line of her bra to her back . his skin was so warm through the thin fabric of her dress , spreading heat everywhere he touched her-along her spine , over her ribs again , along her shoulder blades . and then he brought his other hand into the exploration , tracing it along her torso until it rested beneath her breast ... oh . oh , that felt so good . so good she did n't ever want it to stop . did n't want him to stop ... without even realizing what she was doing , she lifted her hands to his hair and threaded her fingers through the silky tresses . it was evidently all the encouragement he needed , because he immediately deepened the kiss , thrusting his tongue into her mouth to taste her . vaguely , she felt him draw down the zipper of her dress and unhook her bra , then she felt the heat of his bare hands splaying over her na**d back . she put up no resistance when he skimmed her dress down her torso and her bra down her arms . in response , she jerked his tie free from his collar and went to work on the buttons of his shirt , driving both hands under the soft fabric to explore what was beneath in much the same way he had her . and what was beneath was a collection of finely hewn muscle and sinew , covered by sultry , silky skin and a scattering of dark hair . his shoulders were like molten rock beneath her fingertips , his belly as hard and flat as a steam iron . and his back ... oh , his back . there seemed to be acres and acres of it , and every last inch was hot , satiny steel . as she curled her fingers over his shoulders , gavin dipped his head to her neck to drag his damp mouth along the tender column of her throat , then over the sensitive flesh of her shoulder . and if violet had had any doubts before about what they were doing-and she was surprised to realize she had none-that would have made them evaporate . she was n't sure when it had happened , this wanting him the way she did , she only knew she did n't want to fight it . when his mouth returned to hers , she kissed him with a hunger and passion that equaled , and maybe even surpassed , his own . for a long time , they only stood there half-dressed , vying for control of the embrace . gavin tasted her deeply again and again and again , then opened to grant her the same access . she felt his hands everywhere , pressing against her na**d back , curving over her shoulders , curling around her waist , strumming up her rib cage .

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alright , haley snickered , apparently still amused with hendrix . we survived the night , made new friends and our weapons store , although admittedly depleted after our battle royall , was greatly improved since the night before . episode two chapter one 653 days after initial infection its the hard knock life for us , king started out slowly , drudgingly- like a funeral march . haley and i shared a look then she smacked him on the back of the head . he slid forward and jabbed her in the back with his long knees and she jerked forward . i glanced over at king who sat in between nelson and me in the back row ; he had started to doze , too . like they had been prepared for this , even groomed for it . she was jostled forward and let loose with a curse under her breath . i glared at him until he gave me his attention then i mouthed , stop flirting ! you first , he accused silently and jabbed a finger toward the front seat . even though they were only a year apart , they were night and day different when it came to personalities . hendrix.. hendrix was the exact opposite . he was equally attentive to haley , but somehow nelson , third brother down the line and only fifteen months younger than hendrix , already claimed her , which made me really nervous . it wasnt like they could gamble with their safety , which was made obvious by our slow journey . according to my road map of the us and mexico id salvaged from the escalade before haley and i abandoned it back in iowa , we were still in missouri for goodness sake . this was like the never-ending road trip , literally from hell . and even though gunfire had been minimal , wed been able to keep everyone safe so far but nerves were high and tension was tight . id seen plenty of horror/end-of-the-world-movies to know that we were in deep shit . luckily , hales and i still had our v-cards . the fifteen year old in the prime of puberty rolled his eyes at me and snorted , thanks , mom . not that dusty wake was anything profound , but there were times he spoke like a college professor ; then there were times when he thought tormenting haley with his knees in her back was enough to woo her . take lessons from the smart , non-violent men ; those strategies still work . keeping them in sight at all times was a hard-learned lesson that i was not about to forget anytime soon . but weapons were important at the moment , so i gave them priority . if i missed , i always got a second chance because the feeders never stopped coming after haley , who was always right beside me , or me . i cleared my throat , i just dont accidentally want to shoot one of you . i shook my head at his casual attitude went back to digging in the giant black duffle bag for the right kind of long distance weapon . do not start shooting til we take the big one down , alright ? it did not sit well with me . my game plan seemed simple and effective : pick off the leader , let the rest fall into the chaos where they belonged , take out the rest with precise , practiced shots ; that sounded logical to me . well , that just didnt sit right to me . you couldnt teach people this level of angry , they learned it the hard way- experience and two-full years of disappointment . then youd better hurry , i warned and pulled myself up through the sunroof in a fast , fluid move i was pretty proud of . i didnt even get tangled in my guns , because that had definitely happened before . i let out a steady breath at the same time the feeders moved as one aggressive component to attack . when my warm , living flesh appeared on top of the huge car , their slavering reached an uncontrollable point of no return . and while i had yet to shoot one , the entire process had been explained enough to me that i hoped i got the concept , because this former prom queen runner up was going to kick some serious zombie ass . i exhaled a quivering breath and forced my shaking hands to steady . he fell to his knees first and swayed forward onto what was left of his face , just like in the movies , but without the slow motion . i wanted to celebrate , but there were plenty more from where he came and a hurkie off the top of the hummer seemed a little excessive . by now , haley stood next to me on the roof and together we picked off the outside circle of stragglers . there were about twenty-five all together , each in a different state of decay , but all with red eyes and rotten teeth . hendrix and his brothers held their ground in front of the hummer for as long as they could , then started making a path forward , trying to end this before one of us became a casualty or we drew more attention from other nearby feeders .

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["forwarding", 472], ["jabbed", 483], ["long", 513], ["longs", 513], ["knee", 519], ["knees", 519], ["jerk", 534], ["jerks", 534], ["jerked", 534], ["glance", 554], ["glanced", 554], ["sat", 575], ["sit", 575], ["nelson", 593], ["row", 616], ["rowest", 616], ["doze", 641], ["prepare", 677], ["prepared", 677], ["even", 693], ["evens", 693], ["groom", 701], ["grooms", 701], ["groomed", 701], ["jostle", 726], ["jostles", 726], ["jostled", 726], ["let", 742], ["lets", 742], ["loose", 748], ["looser", 748], ["curse", 761], ["cursed", 761], ["breath", 778], ["breathest", 778], ["glare", 789], ["glared", 789], ["give", 810], ["gave", 810], ["attention", 827], ["mouth", 842], ["mouthed", 842], ["stop", 849], ["flirt", 858], ["flirting", 858], ["first", 870], ["firstest", 870], ["accuse", 883], ["accused", 883], ["silently", 892], ["finger", 912], ["toward", 919], ["front", 929], ["seat", 934], ["though", 948], ["year", 970], ["apart", 976], ["day", 1002], ["different", 1012], ["come", 1025], ["came", 1025], ["personality", 1042], ["personalities", 1042], ["exact", 1076], ["opposite", 1085], ["equally", 1102], ["attentive", 1112], ["somehow", 1135], ["third", 1150], ["brother", 1158], ["brethren", 1158], ["line", 1172], ["fifteen", 1189], ["month", 1196], ["months", 1196], ["young", 1204], ["youngest", 1204], ["already", 1227], ["claim", 1235], ["claimed", 1235], ["really", 1262], ["nervous", 1270], ["gamble", 1304], ["gambling", 1304], ["safety", 1322], ["obvious", 1347], ["slow", 1359], ["journey", 1367], ["journeys", 1367], ["journeyed", 1367], ["journeyest", 1367], ["accord", 1379], ["according", 1379], ["road", 1390], ["map", 1394], ["mapped", 1394], ["mexico", 1415], ["salvage", 1427], ["salvaged", 1427], ["escalade", 1445], ["abandon", 1474], ["abandoned", 1474], ["iowa", 1490], ["missouri", 1518], ["goodness", 1531], ["sake", 1536], ["sakes", 1536], ["never", 1562], ["end", 1569], ["ends", 1569], ["endest", 1569], ["ending", 1569], ["trip", 1579], ["tripping", 1579], ["literally", 1591], ["hell", 1601], ["hells", 1601], ["gunfire", 1627], ["minimal", 1644], ["able", 1660], ["abled", 1660], ["keep", 1668], ["keepest", 1668], ["everyone", 1677], ["safe", 1682], ["safes", 1682], ["safed", 1682], ["far", 1689], ["nerve", 1700], ["nerves", 1700], ["high", 1710], ["tension", 1722], ["tight", 1732], ["see", 1742], ["seen", 1742], ["plenty", 1749], ["horror", 1759], ["end", 1763], ["ends", 1763], ["endest", 1763], ["world", 1776], ["movie", 1783], ["movies", 1783], ["know", 1791], ["knowest", 1791], ["deep", 1812], ["deeply", 1812], ["shit", 1817], ["luckily", 1827], ["hale", 1835], ["v", 1857], ["card", 1863], ["cards", 1863], ["old", 1886], ["prime", 1899], ["primed", 1899], ["priming", 1899], ["puberty", 1910], ["roll", 1917], ["rolled", 1917], ["eye", 1926], ["eyed", 1926], ["eyes", 1926], ["snort", 1944], ["snortest", 1944], ["snorted", 1944], ["thank", 1953], ["thanks", 1953], ["thankest", 1953], ["mom", 1959], ["moms", 1959], ["dusty", 1976], ["wake", 1981], ["wakes", 1981], ["woken", 1981], ["anything", 1994], ["profound", 2003], ["profoundest", 2003], ["time", 2026], ["times", 2026], ["speak", 2035], ["spoken", 2035], ["spoke", 2035], ["college", 2050], ["professor", 2060], ["think", 2100], ["thinkest", 2100], ["thought", 2100], ["torment", 2111], ["tormenting", 2111], ["enough", 2155], ["woo", 2162], ["woos", 2162], ["wooed", 2162], ["take", 2173], ["lesson", 2181], ["lessons", 2181], ["smart", 2196], ["non", 2202], ["violent", 2210], ["man", 2214], ["mans", 2214], ["manned", 2214], ["men", 2214], ["strategy", 2233], ["strategies", 2233], ["work", 2244], ["wrought", 2244], ["keep", 2254], ["keepest", 2254], ["keeping", 2254], ["sight", 2268], ["sighted", 2268], ["learn", 2300], ["learnt", 2300], ["learns", 2300], ["learned", 2300], ["lesson", 2307], ["forget", 2338], ["forgot", 2338], ["anytime", 2346], ["soon", 2351], ["important", 2380], ["moment", 2394], ["priority", 2420], ["miss", 2434], ["missed", 2434], ["always", 2445], ["get", 2449], ["got", 2449], ["second", 2458], ["seconded", 2458], ["chance", 2465], ["chanced", 2465], ["chancing", 2465], ["feeder", 2485], ["feeders", 2485], ["stop", 2499], ["stopped", 2499], ["come", 2506], ["coming", 2506], ["right", 2541], ["rightest", 2541], ["beside", 2548], ["clear", 2571], ["clearest", 2571], ["cleared", 2571], ["throat", 2581], ["accidentally", 2608], ["shoot", 2622], ["shooted", 2622], ["shake", 2643], ["shook", 2643], ["casual", 2665], ["attitude", 2674], ["go", 2679], ["goest", 2679], ["went", 2679], ["digging", 2695], ["giant", 2708], ["black", 2714], ["duffle", 2721], ["bag", 2725], ["bagged", 2725], ["bagging", 2725], ["kind", 2744], ["distance", 2761], ["distancing", 2761], ["weapon", 2768], ["start", 2783], ["shoot", 2792], ["shooted", 2792], ["shooting", 2792], ["til", 2796], ["big", 2812], ["bigs", 2812], ["sat", 2848], ["sit", 2848], ["well", 2853], ["wells", 2853], ["game", 2871], ["plan", 2876], ["seem", 2883], ["seeming", 2883], ["seemed", 2883], ["simple", 2890], ["simplest", 2890], ["effective", 2904], ["pick", 2911], ["leader", 2926], ["rest", 2941], ["fall", 2946], ["falls", 2946], ["chaos", 2961], ["belong", 2981], ["belonged", 2981], ["belongest", 2981], ["precise", 3014], ["practice", 3026], ["practiced", 3026], ["shot", 3032], ["shots", 3032], ["sound", 3047], ["sounded", 3047], ["logical", 3055], ["teach", 3122], ["people", 3129], ["level", 3140], ["angry", 3149], ["experience", 3192], ["experienced", 3192], ["full", 3205], ["year", 3211], ["years", 3211], ["disappointment", 3229], ["well", 3248], ["wells", 3248], ["hurry", 3254], ["hurried", 3254], ["hurryed", 3254], ["hurrying", 3254], ["warn", 3265], ["warned", 3265], ["pull", 3276], ["pulled", 3276], ["sunroof", 3306], ["sunroofs", 3306], ["fast", 3316], ["fluid", 3324], ["move", 3329], ["pretty", 3342], ["prettiest", 3342], ["proud", 3348], ["get", 3370], ["tangle", 3378], ["tangling", 3378], ["tangled", 3378], ["gun", 3389], ["guns", 3389], ["definitely", 3419], ["happen", 3428], ["happened", 3428], ["steady", 3456], ["time", 3480], ["move", 3498], ["moved", 3498], ["aggressive", 3516], ["component", 3526], ["attack", 3536], ["warm", 3551], ["flesh", 3566], ["fleshest", 3566], ["appear", 3575], ["appeared", 3575], ["top", 3582], ["huge", 3594], ["car", 3598], ["reach", 3624], ["reached", 3624], ["uncontrollable", 3642], ["point", 3648], ["return", 3661], ["returnest", 3661], ["yet", 3683], ["entire", 3709], ["process", 3717], ["explain", 3736], ["explained", 3736], ["hope", 3762], ["hoped", 3762], ["concept", 3780], ["former", 3802], ["prom", 3807], ["queen", 3813], ["queens", 3813], ["queenest", 3813], ["queening", 3813], ["runner", 3820], ["go", 3833], ["goest", 3833], ["going", 3833], ["kick", 3841], ["serious", 3854], ["zombie", 3861], ["zombied", 3861], ["ass", 3865], ["exhale", 3877], ["exhaled", 3877], ["force", 3907], ["forced", 3907], ["shake", 3918], ["shaking", 3918], ["hand", 3924], ["hands", 3924], ["fall", 3944], ["falls", 3944], ["fell", 3944], ["sway", 3974], ["swayed", 3974], ["onto", 3987], ["ontos", 3987], ["left", 4001], ["leave", 4001], ["face", 4013], ["without", 4053], ["motion", 4069], ["celebrate", 4093], ["hummer", 4180], ["hummers", 4180], ["little", 4196], ["excessive", 4206], ["stood", 4229], ["stand", 4229], ["standest", 4229], ["next", 4234], ["roof", 4252], ["roofs", 4252], ["roofing", 4252], ["together", 4265], ["pick", 4275], ["picked", 4275], ["outside", 4291], ["circle", 4298], ["straggler", 4312], ["stragglers", 4312], ["twenty", 4338], ["five", 4343], ["fived", 4343], ["state", 4384], ["decay", 4393], ["red", 4412], ["rotten", 4428], ["tooth", 4434], ["teeth", 4434], ["brother", 4461], ["brethren", 4461], ["brothers", 4461], ["hold", 4466], ["held", 4466], ["ground", 4479], ["path", 4557], ["try", 4574], ["tryed", 4574], ["trying", 4574], ["become", 4610], ["became", 4610], ["casualty", 4621], ["draw", 4632], ["draws", 4632], ["drawn", 4632], ["drew", 4632], ["nearby", 4665]]

my company is now part of preston corp. he grins , i swear hes totally changed my life in a matter of days . the expression of gratitude in his eyes as they move to david and back to me fills me with pride . i remember david telling me that he was in ashford to buy a software . i realize i have this man to thank for the fact that i met david at all . the thought makes me smile at him . the speech ends , and we all applaud , stopping when someone else takes the podium . im trying to pay attention when i notice ricks eyes skip to something beyond the table and widen discernibly . i turn in the direction hes looking to see a woman approaching our table . the only way to describe her is extraordinarily beautiful . her hair is a deep copper , and piled on top of her head in a mass of burnished curls . her shoulders are slim and pale , and exposed in the scarlet dress that clings to her curves as if she was poured into it . her only jewelry is a green stone that sits between her breasts , matching the flashing green of her eyes . she comes straight for our table , a gloved hand lightly resting on the arm of the youngish , handsome man who is escorting her . i stiffen , watching as they take the empty seats . i recognize her from the pictures ive seen . carole banks , davids old girlfriend . as she settles into her seat , she looks towards me , and the venom i see in her beautiful eyes almost knocks me off my seat . i look towards david , he doesnt seem surprised , he was expecting this , i realize , he was expecting her to be here . carole ! the exclamation comes from leon boise . she acknowledges him with a small smile . i notice that she doesnt look at david at all . theres more going on here than i know . i had forgotten to congratulate you david , leon continues , i read about the attempted takeover , he turns to carole again . i hear david has you to thank for retaining his control on the board . for the first time , carole looks at david , her eyes absolutely poisonous , but there is something else in them , hurt , desire , i cant say . yes , she says softly . her voice is as beautiful as the rest of her , i sold him the shares of his company i got when my father died . she laughs a little , without any merriment . which means david preston will always control preston corp. davids response is a smile . as he should , carole , his hand comes to rest on mine on the table , a little gesture of intimacy thats not lost on her . have you met my wife ? i actually flinch at the look she gives me . her face tightens , but only for a second , and then her perfect mask is back in place . no , she says , i dont believe i have had the pleasure . the tone of her voice says it will be anything but a pleasure . carole this is sophie , my wife . he turns to me , this is carole banks . he doesnt offer anything more than that . i have no idea whats going on between her and david , but i give her a hesitant smile . i can feel her animosity towards me coming in waves , but i decide to be polite even in the face of that . she chuckles , and it has a mocking ring to it . she replies , and takes a long sip from her glass of wine . the second speech ends , and we applaud again . people start to get up from their tables to socialize some more , and to dance to the soft music from the orchestra . carole is the first to leave our table , taking her companion with her . i turn as david put a hand on my arm . no , i would like to know what that was all about . but i dont say the words , instead , i allow him to lead me out to the ballroom , where couples of different ages are moving to the live music . i ask as we start to move . i learned how to dance at school , thankfully , so i dont trip over his feet . he asks , nuzzling my hair . he is deliberately avoiding my question . what just happened at our table , with that woman ? carole isnt too happy with the price she got for her shares , thats all . you didnt pay her as much as she wanted ? he says , twirling me . i frown , puzzled , then how did you get her to sell them to you ? a sneaking suspicion dawns on me . wait , i ask , what did she want ? she wanted me , he says without any hint of conceit . either me or my destruction , he pulls me close and guides me in a spin . i stare at him open-mouthed . i say as the music ends . but he doesnt explain . he kisses me on the forehead as the man he had been talking to at our table , leon boise , comes to claim me for the next dance .

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436], ["else", 454], ["take", 460], ["takes", 460], ["podia", 471], ["podium", 471], ["podiums", 471], ["try", 483], ["tryed", 483], ["trying", 483], ["pay", 490], ["pays", 490], ["payest", 490], ["attention", 500], ["notice", 514], ["rick", 520], ["ricks", 520], ["skip", 530], ["skips", 530], ["skipped", 530], ["beyond", 550], ["table", 560], ["tabled", 560], ["tabling", 560], ["widen", 570], ["discernibly", 582], ["turn", 591], ["direction", 608], ["look", 620], ["looking", 620], ["see", 627], ["woman", 635], ["womans", 635], ["approach", 647], ["approaches", 647], ["approaching", 647], ["way", 672], ["ways", 672], ["describe", 684], ["extraordinarily", 707], ["beautiful", 717], ["beautifulest", 717], ["hair", 728], ["deep", 738], ["deeply", 738], ["copper", 745], ["pile", 757], ["piled", 757], ["top", 764], ["head", 776], ["mass", 786], ["massed", 786], ["massest", 786], ["massing", 786], ["curl", 805], ["curls", 805], ["curled", 805], ["shoulder", 821], ["shouldered", 821], ["shoulders", 821], ["slim", 830], ["pale", 839], ["expose", 853], ["exposed", 853], ["scarlet", 868], ["dress", 874], ["dressest", 874], ["cling", 886], ["curve", 900], ["curved", 900], ["curves", 900], ["pour", 921], ["poured", 921], ["jewelry", 948], ["jewelries", 948], ["green", 959], ["greens", 959], ["stone", 965], ["stoning", 965], ["sat", 975], ["sit", 975], ["sits", 975], ["breast", 995], ["breasted", 995], ["breasting", 995], ["breasts", 995], ["match", 1006], ["matching", 1006], ["flashing", 1019], ["come", 1049], ["comes", 1049], ["straight", 1058], ["hand", 1088], ["lightly", 1096], ["rest", 1104], ["resting", 1104], ["arm", 1115], ["youngish", 1131], ["handsome", 1142], ["handsomes", 1142], ["escort", 1163], ["escorted", 1163], ["escorting", 1163], ["stiffen", 1179], ["stiffens", 1179], ["watch", 1190], ["watching", 1190], ["take", 1203], ["empty", 1213], ["seat", 1219], ["seats", 1219], ["recognize", 1233], ["picture", 1255], ["pictures", 1255], ["see", 1264], ["seen", 1264], ["carole", 1273], ["bank", 1279], ["banks", 1279], ["david", 1288], ["davids", 1288], ["old", 1292], ["girlfriend", 1303], ["settle", 1320], ["settles", 1320], ["seat", 1334], ["look", 1346], ["looks", 1346], ["towards", 1354], ["venom", 1373], ["almost", 1408], ["knock", 1415], ["knocks", 1415], ["knockest", 1415], ["look", 1439], ["seem", 1470], ["seeming", 1470], ["expect", 1499], ["expecting", 1499], ["exclamation", 1577], ["leon", 1593], ["boise", 1599], ["acknowledge", 1618], ["acknowledges", 1618], ["small", 1635], ["go", 1709], ["goest", 1709], ["going", 1709], ["know", 1729], ["knowest", 1729], ["forget", 1747], ["forgot", 1747], ["forgotten", 1747], ["congratulate", 1763], ["congratulated", 1763], ["continue", 1790], ["continues", 1790], ["read", 1799], ["reads", 1799], ["attempt", 1819], ["attempted", 1819], ["takeover", 1828], ["turn", 1839], ["turns", 1839], ["hear", 1864], ["hears", 1864], ["retain", 1901], ["retaining", 1901], ["control", 1913], ["board", 1926], 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the long back bent , gleaming in the warm dusk of the stable , as jamie caught up a forkful of hay from the pile in one corner and carried it to one of the stalls . he straightened and smiled at his cousin . `` gi ' me one of those , will ye ? '' he leaned the fork against a stall and bit into the proffered fruit . the two stood companionably eating , leaning side by side against the stable wall . when he finished , jamie handed the core to a nuzzling sorrel and fetched his fork again . hamish followed him down the aisle , chewing slowly . `` i 've heard my father was a good rider , '' hamish offered tentatively , after a moment 's silence . `` before-before he could n't anymore . '' jamie shot a swift glance at his cousin , but finished pitching hay into the sorrel 's stall before speaking . when he did , he answered the thought , rather than the words . `` i never saw him ride , but i 'll tell ye , lad , i hope never to need as much courage as colum has . '' i saw hamish 's gaze rest curiously on jamie 's scarred back , but he said nothing . after a second apple , his thoughts appeared to have shifted to another topic . `` rupert said ye had to get married , '' he remarked , through a mouthful of apple . `` i wanted to get married , '' jamie said firmly , replacing the pitchfork against the wall . well ... good , '' hamish said uncertainly , as though disconcerted by this novel idea . `` i only wondered ... do ye mind ? '' seeing that this conversation might take a while , jamie sat down on a bale of hay . hamish 's feet did not quite reach the floor , or he might have shuffled them . instead , he drummed his heels lightly against the firm-packed hay . `` do ye mind being married , '' he said , staring at his cousin . `` getting into bed every night with a lady , i mean . '' `` no , '' said jamie . `` no , in fact , it 's verra pleasant . '' hamish looked doubtful . `` i dinna think i should like it much . but then all the girls i know are skinny as sticks , and they smell o ' barely water . the lady claire-your lady , i mean , '' he added hastily , as though wishing to avoid confusion , `` she 's , er , she looks as though she 'd be nicer to sleep with . soft , i mean . '' smells all right , too , '' he offered . even in the dim light , i could see a small muscle twitching near the corner of his mouth , and knew he did n't dare look up in the direction of the loft . `` how d 'ye know ? '' hamish said . `` which is the right lady to get married to , '' the boy said impatiently . jamie rocked back and settled himself against the stone wall , hands behind his head . `` i asked my own da that , once , '' he said . `` he said ye just ken . and if ye dinna ken , then she 's no the right lassie . '' this seemed a less than satisfactory explanation , to judge from the expression on the small freckle-spattered face . hamish sat back , consciously aping jamie 's posture . his stockinged feet stuck out over the edge of the hay bale . small as he was , his sturdy frame gave promise of someday matching his cousin 's . the set of the square shoulders , and the tilt of the solid , graceful skull were nearly identical . `` where 's your shoon , then ? '' jamie asked accusingly . `` you 'll no ha ' left them in the pasture again ? your mother will box your ears for ye if ye 've lost them . '' hamish shrugged this off as a threat of no consequence . clearly there was something of more importance on his mind . `` john- '' he started , wrinkling his sandy brows in thought , `` john says- '' `` john the stable-lad , john the cook-boy , or john cameron ? '' `` the stable-lad . '' hamish waved a hand , pushing away the distraction . `` he said , er , about getting married ... '' `` mmm ? '' jamie made an encouraging noise , keeping his face tactfully turned away . rolling his eyes upward , his glance met mine , as i peered over the edge . i grinned down at him , causing him to bite his lip to keep from grinning back . hamish drew a deep breath , and let it out in a rush , propelling his words like a burst of birdshot . `` he-said-ye-must-serve-a-lass-like-a-stallion-does-a-mare-and-i-didna-believe-him-but-is-it-true ? '' i bit my finger hard to keep from laughing out loud .

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i blew into it to test it : 0.00 , it read . i figured it was working . after fifteen minutes , i handed it to the colonel . `` blow really hard onto it for at least two seconds , '' i said . `` is that what you told lara in the tv room ? because , see , pudge , they only call it a bl*w j*b . '' `` shut up and blow , '' i said . his cheeks puffed out , the colonel blew into the hole hard and long , his face turning red . .16 . `` oh no , '' the colonel said . `` you 're two-thirds of the way there , '' i said encouragingly . `` yeah , but i 'm like three-fourths of the way to puking . '' `` well , obviously it 's possible . you can outdrink a girl , ca n't you ? '' `` give me the mountain dew , '' he said stoically . and then i heard footsteps outside . we 'd waited till 1:00 to turn on the lights , figuring everyone would be long asleep-it was a school night after all-but footsteps , shit , and as the colonel looked at me confused , i grabbed the breathalyzer from him and stuffed it between the foam cushions of the couch and grabbed the dixie cup and the gatorade bottle of vodka and stashed them behind the coffee table , and in one motion i grabbed a cigarette from a pack and lit it , hoping the smell of smoke would cover up the smell of booze . i puffed the cigarette without inhaling , trying to smoke up the room , and i was almost back to the couch when the three quick knocks came against the door and the colonel looked at me , his eyes wide , his suddenly unpromising future flashing before his eyes , and i whispered , `` cry , '' as the eagle turned the knob . the colonel hunched forward , his head between his knees and his shoulders shaking , and i put my arm around him as the eagle came in . `` i 'm sorry , '' i said before the eagle could say anything . `` he 's having a tough night . '' the eagle asked . `` in your room ? four hours after lights-out ? '' i dropped the cigarette into a half-empty coke can . i 'm just trying to stay awake with him . '' the eagle walked up toward the couch , and i felt the colonel start to rise , but i held his shoulders down firmly , because if the eagle smelled the colonel 's breath we were done for sure . `` miles , '' the eagle said . `` i understand that this is a difficult time for you . but you will respect the rules of this school , or you will matriculate someplace else . i 'll see you in jury tomorrow . is there anything i can do for you , chip ? '' without looking up , the colonel answered in a quivering , tear-soaked voice , `` no , sir . i 'm just glad i have miles . '' `` well , i am , too , '' the eagle said . `` perhaps you should encourage him to live within the confines of our rules , lest he risk his place on this campus . '' `` yessir , '' the colonel said . `` y'all can leave your lights on until you 're ready to go to bed . i 'll see you tomorrow , miles . '' `` good night , sir , '' i said , imagining the colonel sneaking the breathalyzer back into the eagle 's house while i got harangued at jury . as the eagle closed the door behind him , the colonel shot up , smiling at me , and still nervous that the eagle might be outside , whispered , `` that was a thing of beauty . '' `` i learned from the best , '' i said . an hour later , the gatorade bottle mostly empty , the colonel hit .24 . `` thank you , jesus ! '' he exclaimed , and then added , `` this is awful . this is not fun drunk . '' i got up and cleared the coffee table out of the way so the colonel could walk the length of the room without hitting any obstacles , and said , `` okay , can you stand ? '' the colonel pushed his arms into the foam of the couch and began to rise , but then fell backward onto the couch , lying on his back . `` spinning room , '' he observed . `` gon na puke . '' `` do n't puke . that will ruin everything . '' i decided to give him a field sobriety test , like the cops do . get over here and try to walk a straight line . '' he rolled off the couch and fell to the floor , and i caught him beneath his armpits and held him up . i positioned him in between two tiles of the linoleum floor . `` follow that line of tiles . walk straight , toe to heel . '' he raised one leg and immediately leaned to the left , his arms windmilling .

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he nudged his horse , blackjack , toward jace . annie , with cassie and caroline on either side , rode behind jace and heath . it gave all three a chance to talk while the men decided the destination . two hours later they took a turn up one of the small hills , rode down the other side , then into a canyon before stopping . heath ground tied blackjack and looked toward the women . hed glanced behind him several times during the ride to be sure annie kept up . caroline was righther friend was a solid rider . whos got the trail mix ? jace shouted toward the women . he pulled out water bottles from his saddlebag and distributed them to each person . as if the man didnt know who carried the food , caroline said and pulled out two bags of her husbands favorite snack plus fruit . she tossed a bag to jace and kept the other for the women whod chosen a group of large boulders to lean against . its so beautiful out here . how many acres do you have ? annie asked no one in particular . over five hundred thousand in three states for our cattle operations . another several thousand reserved for horse breeding and training programs . we concentrate on quarter and cutting horses . heath leaned a hip against a nearby rock and scanned the horizon . theyd all worn heavy jackets as the march temperatures were still in the forties much of the time . if they continued higher they might still find some snow . he doubted thered be more this year , but you never knew . the large amount of acreage surprised annie . i had no idea it was that large . it must take all of your time as well as jaces to run it . its set up like any large corporation with a management team who handle all the aspects of a large-scale cattle operation . everything is more scientific nowadays than it was a hundred and fifty years ago when it was started . has it always been in maclaren hands ? one generation after the next . im hopeful trey , after his stint in the navy , and cassie will want to continue , along with jace and carolines children . weve been fortunate . most large ranches are owned by corporations that are far removed from the founding families . they relaxed in silence a while longer before annies curiosity kicked in again . what parts of the business do you spend your time on ? im still the chairman of the cattle operations . we have a president that actually handles day-to-day decisions . jace heads up the horse breeding division . my focus is now on our development company . high-end housing , some middle and lower end , plus hospitality and retail sites . i travel a lot as we own properties throughout arizona , new mexico , and nevada , plus a few in colorado . keeps me busy . and out of trouble ? annie joked . well , not so much , heaths grin lit his face . you just gon na gab all morning or are we going to ride on for lunch ? jace walked up with caroline and cassie . were ready when you are , heath replied , walked to his horse , and mounted . they rode another hour then stopped for lunch at a small mexican restaurant that bordered their property at the highway . the lot was full of cars from all over , but juan carlos had never allowed the horse posts behind his restaurant to be removed . the five began to dismount when a back door swung opena short , slender man standing in the opening . so you made it today , heath , juan carlos called out . you got room for five ? always , my friend . he greeted everyone and was introduced to annie . shed never eaten at his restaurant . a new basket of hot chips with salsa appeared just as the old basket was nearly empty . annie was silent most of the time , listening to the maclarens discuss ranch business , a new townhome project heath had going , and cassies new boyfriend . the last kept the conversation going for much of the time . she and seth garners grandson had gone out a couple of times , which was news to heath . theyd known matt garner his whole life . he was a year older than cassie , attended a local community college , and worked in his grandfathers construction companya company that did a lot of business with the maclarens . matts parents had been close friends of heath and his first wife , pamela , until theyd been killed in a small plane crash when matt was ten . their grandfather , seth garner , had raised him , along with his younger brother , troy , on his small ranch that bordered the maclarens on one side . i never realized you had any interest at all in matt . caroline put the last bite of an enchilada in her mouth and sat back , interested in this new development . neither did i until he asked me to a party a few weeks ago . besides , he was always with becky fraser during high school .

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jake headed down the stairs to get his morning cup of black coffee . `` i 'm not the one who changed , dom . you need to get your head back in the game before you lose everything . '' and i need to stay focused . which meant going to see lil was out of the question . not a man who could be accused of playing fair , dominic added , `` do n't force me to bring out the big guns over this . '' `` you would n't , '' jake said with annoyance , and put his coffee mug down , untouched . `` i will if you leave me no other choice . '' that was also how dominic won-with a long history of following through with his threats . it was never a case of if he would do it , but rather a question of whether or not you could handle a particular consequence of denying him . often , it was simply easier to work around him instead of against him . once lil was safely deposited in her new , highly secure abode and the interview was a non-issue , jake would try to reason with dominic again . `` fine , and i 'll handle the interview while i 'm there . duhamel can arrange the details of the move . i 'll get lil in the penthouse by tonight but after that , i 'm not promising anything . i ca n't make her stay there . '' `` you can talk anyone into anything . '' i 've been trying to talk you back from crazy for over a month . dominic added , `` oh , one more thing . see that she comes down to new york on friday . this is an important weekend for us . '' jake leaned against the kitchen counter . `` dom , are they worth this ? this family that you 're so attached to ? do you really think they 're going to stick around if you 're a mail clerk next year ? '' `` yes , '' he said in a tone that took jake aback . `` i sure hope you 're right , dom , because i do n't know if we 're going to make our deadline . '' `` i 've got a plan , jake . it was n't the first time he 'd heard that claim . he hoped it was true this time . `` i 'll be back by wednesday and then we 'll talk about who you 've lined up . i should prep before i meet with them , '' jake said . dominic said , `` do n't worry , you know them . '' jake did n't think he 'd left one computer-savvy acquaintance off his list . dominic said , `` i 'm counting on it . call me if you hit a snag in boston . '' and you 'll do what ? `` oh , and try to make it sound like it was your idea to go . '' that request did not even warrant a reply . jake shook his head at the phone and hung up . how the mighty dominic had fallen . jake packed an overnight bag and made arrangements for his luxury helicopter . he 'd chosen this particular new york building as his home because the generous roof had allowed him to install a private landing pad . sure , a jet would have gotten him to boston faster , but he liked the increased landing opportunities that helicopters offered . his could fly six people with the same quiet comfort of a limo directly to one of his buildings without the hassle of dealing with traffic . a helicopter with that level of sound insulation and refinement cost more than many private jets , but it was one of the few luxuries jake found pleasure in owning . once in the city , he usually rented a private car and drove himself . he preferred less pomp and circumstance and found the constant presence of someone , especially those attempting to anticipate his every need , extremely tiring . for that reason , his house staff came on mondays and thursdays while he was at work . they cleaned his home , stocked his shelves , and left a few premade meals that he could microwave if he did n't wish to order out . the only evidence of the staff 's existence was the constant availability of everything he required . just the way he liked his life . lil peered out the window by pulling down one blind just enough to see through it and groaned . a flock of press had descended on her small house in the suburbs of boston almost immediately after the promo of her tell-all interview had televised . they had been there all day . she glanced down at the baby who was still happily playing on her back in the middle of a small blanket , kicking at the toys that hung from an arch above her . `` colby , what am i going to do ? '' the only way the news station could have an interview from her was if the woman who had called yesterday claiming to be her sister 's new personal assistant had lied . that possibility was unacceptable because it would mean that her entire practice session on how to field questions from the press had been recorded .

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it feels like a cruel reminder every time i look at her i see the face of the person who put her in that fuckin ' chair . '' sadness eats away at what 's left of my heart . this is the most max has ever spoken to me about ceecee and her accident . nik has since told me the story just so i 'd have all the facts and not be completely ignorant about ceecee 's mom . i feel honored that max would let me in . what max does n't know is that i know a bit about how he feels . mia looked just like jace and every day was a reminder of the heartbreak i felt . but then mia would smile or giggle and i 'd also be reminded that jace was a big fat stupid head to leave that behind . wrapping my arms around his waist , i squeeze and rest my forehead on his back . we stay like this a long time before i break away and give him some time alone . as i reach the door i look back to my damaged friend and pray that someday he 'll find love again . *** saturday night comes and all us girls are itching to get to the club . we need drinks and laughter , stat . we are over people trying to bring us down and mimi told me that if i had any more problems with anyone this week to flip em the bird and say some really nasty words which made me giggle and blush . we 're all dressed in our usual attire and head to the white rabbit or , wonderland as we like to call it . anticipation drives us crazy . as soon as we exit the cab we bound up to b-rock whooping and jumping around like loons . he chuckles , holds his cheek out to accept our kisses and lets us in . it 's bangin ' tonight ! we make our way up the stairs to the vip area and asian alice is there to greet us with a smile and escort us to our booth . trick and max are already seated , talking and laughing together . as soon as they notice us approach they both stand to hug and greet us . i ask where nik is and max shrugs and tells me he was called to his office to deal with an emergency . maybe i should go over there and make his emergency a little more fun . i smirk internally and decide i 'll do just that . but first , i need a drink . *** i wonder how the f**k i 'm standing in my office with sissy when i should be out waiting on tina to get to the club . this was not the emergency i had in mind when i was called to my office . sissy is dressed in a white thigh high dress . it 's a miracle it covers her p**sy and i suddenly wonder what i ever saw in her . she was easy . i sit in my office chair and sissy sits very close to me on the edge of the desk . i ask , `` what can i do for you , sissy ? you know , it 's funny , but i thought you were banned from the club . '' she throws me a sour look and replies , `` do n't be mean , nik . '' she smiles what i used to think was a sexy smile and says , `` i just wanted to see how you were . '' this is a fuckin ' emergency ? i stop myself from rubbing my hands down my face and reply , `` i 'm busy . and speaking of busy , i need to get back so please escort yourself out . '' i move to stand but she stops me with a foot on my thigh . she scoots closer to me and my eyes narrow . lightning quick , she slips off the desk and into my lap , lowers her face to mine and kisses me . not a nice kiss either . it 's sloppy and her tongue prods at my lips . revulsion washes over me . her hands remove my shirt tails out of my slacks . she falls to the floor on her knees . i spit , `` i had one fuckin ' rule , sissy . do n't ever kiss me . my kisses go to special people . not people i used to fuck . '' i undo my belt and zipper to work my shirt back into my pants when the office door opens . i turn to see who it is . *** i open the door to nik 's office and freeze . nik is standing with his zipper undone . sissy is on her knees before nik , wiping at the corners of her mouth trying to fix her lipstick which is all over nik 's mouth . when she sees me , she smirks . there is a fist wrapped around my heart and it squeezes , hard . i fight to keep breathing . i lock my knees to stop them from shaking . dread seeps through my body . disgust claws at my eyes and begs for me to look away . using my hand i shield my view because , let 's face it , i do n't want to see sissy smirk over the blowjob she just gave nik . i croak , `` i 'm sorry .

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`` she waited a moment then , for some comment orapology fromthe man , but he remained silent , hisgaze locked on her face . frowning , she glanced backtowardmegandhenry questioningly , only to see them both just as frozen and fixated on her . shifting uncomfortably under theircombined stares and mountinghorror , valoreeglancedfromone person totheother . `` what isit ? `` `` your face , `` henry said in dismay . frowning , she reached up to feelher cheekwhere meg had meantto daband felt that her movement had turned the dab into abrush that had removed aportionof her makeup . the bare skin underneath felt oddly lumpy . `` do not touch it , `` meg said quickly , pulling her hand away and peeringatthespot . `` is your face itchy ? `` `` itchy ? `` valoree muttered with disgust . `` it has been burning anditching allnight.it has been nearly driving me mad . '' megpeeredat herwith concern . `` well , whydid you not saysomething ? `` the woman asked in exasperation . valoree glanced toward henry , whose expression showed complete understanding mingled with regret . she had n't said anything because a captain should notcomplain ofminor discomfort . a captainshould bearit as long as necessary , thentend to it when the opportunity arose . `` never mind why she said naught about it , `` henry said resignedly . `` what dowe doaboutit ? `` `` do ? `` meg peered at him blankly , then shook herhead . `` she is obviouslyreacting tothe makeup.we must leave and getit off heras quickly as possible . '' henry'sshoulders slumped atthat , and valoree could readthe disappointment inhim . they had goneto all thistrouble . and it had been a flop . she hadonlydanced , or talked even , with one man . nonetheless , he nodded solemnly . `` we leavethen . '' not just yet , `` valoree said suddenly . she turned to daniel , hermind racing with aplanthatwasforming even as she spoke . `` who is the biggestgossip of the ton ? `` daniel peered at her in surprise and confusion , then said slowly , `` that would be lady denholme . `` is she here tonight ? `` valoree asked hurriedly . daniel hesitated before nodding . `` i believe she is . '' he peered at valoree silently for a moment , then glanced around thehall , scouring thepeoplepresent until he spottedthe woman in question . `` she isover there , besidethe large womanin white and green . '' valoree followed hispointing finger , then glancedto her aunt . `` meg ? `` the older woman moved to herside atonce , frowning in concern at her niece 's blistered red skin . `` go and strike up aconversation with this lady denholme . tell her aboutthe codicilin my father 's will . tell her how you must marry me off quicklyto claim it.then tell herit should n't be a problem , however , since i am exceedingly wealthy . make sure you mention that i am desperate and not likely to be picky . '' she paused suddenly to glance toward daniel . `` are thereanyother rather gossipy women here tonight ? `` daniel gaveher a look ofmixed admiration and annoyance , then straightened to glance around the room again . `` ah , well , lady smathers over there , and ... er ... lady wenback by the tall , skinnygentleman . '' nodding , valoree turned tomeg again . `` after you are finished with her , move on totheother twoand tell them the same things . then comejoin us . we shall be onthebalcony . '' nodding , meg hurried off to do as she asked . as she did , valoree began to fan her face with one hand , her gaze moving aroundtheroom . henry 's hissed words drew her gaze around questioningly , andhe muttered , `` a passeloftroubleheaded our way . '' henodded towarda herdof hopeful mamas dragging their chicks theirway . `` valoree muttered as she spotted the group . this was the last group she wanted to see . her gaze shot aroundto land on daniel . `` they are after you . go away and they will leave me alone . '' `` ihavea better idea , `` he answered . taking her arm , he hurried her through thecrowd toward thebalcony doors , henry hot on their heels . `` see , this is what i mean about our not suiting , `` valoree snappedirritably ashe rushed herout onto the balcony . `` you could not justgoawayas i asked ; you had to take charge and drag me alongwithyou . '' daniel said nothing , simply led her down into the garden .

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1334], ["peer", 1371], ["peered", 1371], ["blankly", 1386], ["shake", 1399], ["shook", 1399], ["must", 1458], ["musts", 1458], ["left", 1464], ["leave", 1464], ["hera", 1484], ["possible", 1504], ["slump", 1534], ["slumps", 1534], ["slumped", 1534], ["disappointment", 1584], ["flop", 1649], ["flops", 1649], ["flopping", 1649], ["talk", 1681], ["talked", 1681], ["even", 1686], ["evens", 1686], ["nonetheless", 1715], ["nod", 1727], ["nodded", 1727], ["solemnly", 1736], ["yet", 1772], ["suddenly", 1799], ["daniel", 1822], ["daniels", 1822], ["race", 1839], ["racing", 1839], ["speak", 1882], ["spoken", 1882], ["spoke", 1882], ["ton", 1923], ["surprise", 1961], ["surprised", 1961], ["confusion", 1975], ["slowly", 1994], ["lady", 2018], ["tonight", 2052], ["hurriedly", 2081], ["hesitate", 2100], ["hesitated", 2100], ["nodding", 2115], ["believe", 2130], ["silently", 2172], ["around", 2207], ["scour", 2226], ["scouring", 2226], ["question", 2281], ["large", 2321], ["white", 2335], ["green", 2345], ["greens", 2345], ["follow", 2367], ["followed", 2367], ["finger", 2386], ["aunt", 2412], ["old", 2436], ["move", 2448], ["moved", 2448], ["niece", 2501], ["blister", 2514], ["blistered", 2514], ["blistering", 2514], ["red", 2518], ["go", 2531], ["goest", 2531], ["strike", 2542], ["tell", 2590], ["father", 2623], ["fathered", 2623], ["fathering", 2623], ["marry", 2661], ["married", 2661], ["claim", 2684], ["problem", 2727], ["however", 2737], ["since", 2745], ["exceedingly", 2762], ["wealthy", 2770], ["sure", 2782], ["mention", 2794], ["desperate", 2814], ["picky", 2841], ["pause", 2857], ["paused", 2857], ["glance", 2876], ["rather", 2920], ["gossipy", 2928], ["woman", 2934], ["womans", 2934], ["women", 2934], ["look", 2974], ["admiration", 2993], ["annoyance", 3007], ["straighten", 3027], ["straightened", 3027], ["room", 3053], ["roomed", 3053], ["ah", 3067], ["er", 3114], ["tall", 3143], ["finish", 3231], ["finished", 3231], ["move", 3247], ["thing", 3294], ["things", 3294], 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dipping the waiting ladle into the fountain , he rinsed out his mouth and washed his hands before continuing on . grumbling under his breath , he then traversed the center courtyard and entered the haiden where the elders awaited him . they sat before him in semicircular rows that faced the columned entryway he had just come through . rising several stories above him , there were so many benches that the guardians had lost count of how many elders occupied them long ago . `` captain cross , '' greeted one of them . which one , aidan could n't say . as always , he thought of master sheron , knowing the teacher was one among the many , absorbed into what aidan saw as a collective consciousness . the knowledge saddened him . `` tell us more about your dreamer , lyssa bates . '' it was a struggle , but he kept his face impassive as he straightened . just the sound of her name spoken aloud sent a shiver of pleasure through him . despite the darkness of her dream , he had enjoyed his time with her . he 'd felt secure behind the massive door , comforted by her trust , inwardly surprised and contented that she would turn to him for himself , not as a phantasm she had created for her own relief . and she 'd commiserated with him , seen him as a man , not an automaton who craved nothing so much as a hearty fight and a willing fuck . seven sleep cycles have passed since you gained entry , and she has denied all subsequent guardians . '' she 's safe and sane . when she 's ready , she 'll let us in . she has no immediate need for us . '' `` perhaps we have need of her . '' his posture rigid , aidan raked his gaze across the sea of faces , his heart increasing its rhythm . they stared back , clad in dark gray , cowls raised and shielding the upper halves of their faces so that they all looked the same . `` she asked for you . '' warmth spread through him , and he hid his pleasure with a dismissive `` so ? '' `` how is it that she recalls you by your true name ? '' `` i told it to her when she asked . '' `` why does she see through every guise we present to her ? '' `` is she the key ? '' if you knew her , you would know how ridiculous that is to even consider . she would never open the gateway to the nightmares . she fears them as we do . besides , she has the least amount of dream control i 've ever seen . turning the lights on is beyond her , so she 's sitting in the damn dark . '' `` we must send more guardians to interact with her so that we may prove you correct , but she will not let us in . if we can not gain entry , we will have to assume the worst and destroy her . '' beginning to pace , aidan clasped his hands at the small of his back and tried to find a way to argue reason against their unfounded paranoia . `` go to her again and urge her to open the door to us . '' as much as he longed to go , he dreaded it . already this last week he 'd been unable to stop thinking about her . she was thinking about him ... a soft shiver coursed the length of his frame . he 'd been in her mind , seen who she was on every level . he knew her as well as she knew herself , and he 'd liked what he saw and craved more time in her company . the conflicting desires to be with her and to avoid her goaded him with equal strength . like a banquet of desserts set before a hungry man-although he knew an attachment to lyssa would satisfy , it was n't good for him and he would only end up hungrier . the turmoil he was experiencing proved that . `` if you will not go , cross , you will leave us with no choice . '' the request to revisit a dreamer was not unheard of , but it was very rare and it had never been asked of an elite warrior before . he could manage to hold himself aloof , just as he 'd done forever . `` of course i 'll go- '' `` you will be assigned to her until she opens to other guardians . '' `` but i 'm needed elsewhere . '' `` yes , your leadership will be missed , '' the voice conceded . `` however , this woman is unique in her ability to bar both nightmare and guardian with that door . we must know why she does this , and how . perhaps it is a skill we can replicate in other dreamers . imagine the benefits if they could defend themselves . '' he stilled mid-stride and faced them . `` if goodwill was your aim , you would assign a healer or nurturer to coax her out . '' instead they sent a man known for his aloofness and ability to kill with precision . then , `` if she is the key , you are best equipped to eliminate her . ''

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3172], ["companying", 3172], ["conflict", 3190], ["conflicted", 3190], ["conflictest", 3190], ["conflicting", 3190], ["desire", 3198], ["desires", 3198], ["avoid", 3226], ["goad", 3237], ["goaded", 3237], ["equal", 3252], ["strength", 3261], ["like", 3268], ["banquet", 3278], ["banqueted", 3278], ["dessert", 3290], ["desserts", 3290], ["set", 3294], ["hungry", 3310], ["although", 3323], ["attachment", 3345], ["satisfy", 3368], ["good", 3386], ["end", 3416], ["ends", 3416], ["endest", 3416], ["turmoil", 3442], ["experience", 3462], ["experienced", 3462], ["experiencing", 3462], ["left", 3523], ["leave", 3523], ["choice", 3541], ["request", 3558], ["requestest", 3558], ["revisit", 3569], ["unheard", 3595], ["rare", 3621], ["elite", 3661], ["warrior", 3669], ["manage", 3694], ["hold", 3702], ["aloof", 3716], ["forever", 3745], ["course", 3760], ["assign", 3797], ["assigning", 3797], ["assignest", 3797], ["assigned", 3797], ["open", 3820], ["opens", 3820], ["need", 3863], ["needest", 3863], ["needed", 3863], ["elsewhere", 3873], ["yes", 3885], ["leadership", 3903], ["leaderships", 3903], ["miss", 3918], ["missed", 3918], ["voice", 3933], ["concede", 3942], ["conceded", 3942], ["however", 3955], ["woman", 3968], ["womans", 3968], ["unique", 3978], ["ability", 3993], ["bar", 4000], ["nightmare", 4015], ["nightmares", 4015], ["guardian", 4028], ["guardians", 4028], ["skill", 4110], ["replicate", 4127], ["dreamers", 4145], ["imagine", 4155], ["benefit", 4168], ["benefits", 4168], ["defend", 4189], ["still", 4216], ["stilled", 4216], ["mid", 4220], ["stride", 4227], ["stridden", 4227], ["goodwill", 4259], ["aim", 4272], ["aimest", 4272], ["assign", 4291], ["assigning", 4291], ["assignest", 4291], ["healer", 4300], ["nurturer", 4312], ["coax", 4320], ["coaxed", 4320], ["coaxes", 4320], ["instead", 4341], ["know", 4363], ["knowest", 4363], ["known", 4363], ["aloofness", 4381], ["kill", 4401], ["precision", 4416], ["best", 4461], ["bested", 4461], ["bestest", 4461], ["equip", 4470], ["equipped", 4470], ["eliminate", 4483]]

after five years , noelle was tired of playing at being a pretty young thing , but she knew it was all about paying her dues . in another few months she 'd be up for a promotion to senior buyer of women 's wear , instead of focusing just on shoes and accessories . 'you ca n't leave yet , ' amelie protested with a pout , 'it 's only eleven . ' 'and i have work tomorrow . as do you , i might add . ' 'what about your ferocious admirer ? ' 'he 'll just have to admire from afar . ' a flicker of curiosity rippled through her-a shaven head and a scar ? in this crowd of preening socialites it seemed unlikely . still , all she wanted now was her bed and a hot drink . and a good book . her scary suitor would have to live with disappointment . she waved her farewell to amelie , who had already moved on to the next crowd of social-climbers . standing alone amidst the circulating crowd , noelle suddenly experienced a sharp pang of loneliness , the kind she 'd tried not to let herself feel in the ten years since she 'd walked out on her marriage and rebuilt her life-a life she 'd chosen , even if it bore no resemblance to the kind of life she 'd expected to have . she liked amelie and all of her other friends , but they were n't kindred spirits . but then she 'd given up on that idea long ago . sighing , she pushed any recriminations , as well as that irritating pang of loneliness , to the back of her mind . in bed with a book and a hot drink she 'd feel better . and at least she 'd be able to shed these ridiculous shoes . it took her a quarter of an hour to work her way through the crowd , knowing she needed to stop to smile or chat with various guests . she 'd just reached the deserted foyer of the hotel when she heard a voice behind her . 'i almost did n't recognise you . ' she did n't have to turn around to know who was speaking to her . she had n't heard that low , rumbling growl of a voice in ten years . he still , she acknowledged distantly , spoke with the cautious reserve of a man who chose his words with care and did n't say many of them . slowly she turned around and faced her former husband . the first sight of him in the shadowy foyer jolted her to the core . his hair was cut close , almost a buzz-cut . a long , livid scar of puckered reddened flesh bisected his right cheek , starting in his hairline and snaking all the way down to his jaw . he was , she knew then , the ferocious admirer amelie had told her about . she should have considered such a thing , she supposed , although in truth she 'd never have expected ammar to be looking for her . he 'd never looked for her before . 'and i almost did n't recognise you , ' she said , keeping her voice crisp even though her knees were near to buckling just at the sight of him . he seemed taller and darker and bigger than before , although that was surely an illusion . she 'd just forgotten the effect his presence had on her , the way he held himself so still and yet with such authority . the way his mouth thinned and his eyes narrowed-so different from the man she 'd thought she knew . the man she 'd fallen in love with . she gave him as level a look as she could . 'what do you want , ammar ? ' her heart thudded hard in reaction to that simple statement . she 'd asked him once before what he 'd wanted , if he wanted her . then the answer had been a resounding and devastating no . even now , ten years later , the memory made her burn with painful humiliation , the remnants of the utter heartbreak she 'd felt at the time . 'how interesting , ' she said coolly , 'considering we have n't even spoken in a decade . ' 'i must talk with you , noelle . ' she shook her head , hating how autocratic he sounded . 'we have nothing to say to each other . ' he kept his gaze steady on hers , solemn and fierce . 'i have something to say to you . ' she felt a sudden , hot clutch of emotion in her chest , a burning behind her lids . she 'd loved him so much , so long ago . she hated that she felt even a remnant of it now . and whatever he wanted to say to her ... well , she did n't want to hear it . she 'd opened herself up to him once before . she would not do so again . he stepped closer , and she saw how gaunt he looked . he was powerfully built , every limb corded with muscle , yet clearly he 'd lost a significant amount of weight .

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this life with you , i 'm planning on us . '' she ran her legs up mine and smiled up at me . this is our start . take me home , woods . '' i dropped my head to her shoulder and began moving inside of her while our breathing hitched and we gradually climbed to the pleasure we knew awaited us . the place we could only reach with each other . `` now , della . come with me , '' i ordered when i felt myself ready to explode . her immediate strangled cry as she began clawing at my back sent me flying off into nirvana . della i opened my eyes and stared into woods 's eyes . the way he looked at me made me feel treasured . like i was some precious jewel he wanted to protect . `` good morning , '' he said as his fingers continued to trace the length of my arm with a featherlike touch . `` good morning , '' i said , smiling at him . `` you mean how long have i been staring at you ? '' `` yes , that too , '' i replied . i woke up and you were so damn gorgeous curled up against me i could n't go back to sleep . i did n't want to sleep and waste time that i could spend looking at you . '' `` you have a way with words , mr. kerrington , '' i told him . `` good , because i want to ask you about the past two weeks and i want you to tell me everything , '' he said . `` i thought you knew everything already , '' i replied , realizing it had to be tripp he 'd been talking to . braden had n't been with me for most of those weeks . `` i know what tripp and braden told me . i want to know everything that della knows . '' so they 'd both been in on this . i could n't be mad at them . i was in woods 's arms . they had brought me back here . they had made me face my fears . `` i almost did n't come back . i was scared to face you . i was afraid you did n't want me . braden and tripp talked me into coming back . '' woods smiled at me and reached over to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear . `` sweetheart , i was coming after you . your time was almost up . i had told braden you had forty-eight hours . i had started packing my bag when i got the call from tripp saying you 'd be back in four hours . i 'm glad you came home to me . but i was n't going to stand back any longer . i 'd given you three weeks . i wanted you back . '' he had been coming to get me . that was why braden was so insistent that i come back to him . she wanted me to be the one to come back . `` i 'm not sure what i did to score a best friend like braden , but i 'm so thankful i have her . '' woods kissed the tip of my nose . `` there were a few times i considered locking her up long enough to get you and run . '' giggling , i moved closer to him . `` but i came home . '' and it was so damn sweet . '' he wanted to know about all that had happened . i wanted to tell him about everything . `` do you know i was adopted ? '' `` well , i met both of them . i even met glenda 's -- -that 's my birth mother -- -family . her husband was quiet but he seemed nice . i mostly watched her daughter . i wondered if i would have been so free and outspoken if i had lived her life . and i have my birth father 's eyes . his name is nile . he was the high school heartthrob . i can look at him twenty years later and tell that . he 's handsome and i think he may still be a little in love with glenda , which is weird . but i try not to think about it . '' i continued to tell woods all about meeting the people who gave me life . i had n't told braden much about each meeting and she had n't pressed , but with woods i wanted to tell him everything . i wanted him to know that nile smoked cigars and glenda used to sing . she wanted to be a country singer once . by the time i had finished telling him about everything , he had sat up and leaned against the headboard and pulled me into his lap . he made small circles on the palm of my hand and stayed silent . so i talked more . i told him about my fears and why i had left him . i told him that my night terrors were gone . i was n't waking up screaming anymore . i wanted to be a mother one day . i wanted so many things i 'd been scared to want before . he slipped his hand down over my stomach and i felt fluttery in my chest . `` one day i want my baby tucked safely in here . ''

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grey did not choose to go into the matter of mrs abernathy , nor yet to explain his conclusions about the maroons ' disinclination for violence . he had heard captain accompong 's name only moments before , but with that name , his thoughts began to coalesce around a shadowy figure . suddenly , there was a mind out there , someone with whom he might engage . 'well , we ... er ... disrobed the governor- ' fettes flinched , and tom cleared his throat again before going on , '-and had a close look . 'but- the place is covered with blood and filth and nastiness , ' cherry protested . 'but whoever - or whatever - gnawed the governor probably did not kill him . fettes was heard to observe under his breath that he would be damned , but both fettes and cherry were good men , and did not argue with grey 's conclusions , any more than they had taken issue with his order to hide warren 's body - they could plainly perceive the desirability of suppressing rumour of a plague of zombies . perhaps mr warren 's death is meant to be incitement - but if it was not the work of the maroons , then the question is - what are the maroons waiting for ? ' 'why , me lord , i 'd say - they 're waiting for you . what else , indeed . so they had set out to attract attention in the most noticeable - if not the best - way open to them . naturally , they were waiting to see what he would do . he summoned fettes , and informed him that he , fettes , was , until further notice , acting governor of the island of jamaica . 'alone , sir ? ' 'i 'm taking my valet , and the servant boy . 'no , sir , ' fettes said dubiously , 'but surely a proper escort ... grey was courteous , but firm . grey nodded , and turned to go into the house , but then paused and turned back . they rode for nearly two days before they heard the first of the horns . a high , melancholy sound in the twilight , it seemed far away , and only a sort of metallic note made grey sure that it was not in fact the cry of some large , exotic bird . 'that 's how they talk to each other . 'talk to each other , you say . rodrigo had straightened up a little in his saddle , putting a hand automatically behind him to steady the leather box that held the most ostentatious hat available in spanish town . they 're telling each other we 're here . ' tom muttered something under his own breath , that sounded like , 'could have told you that meself for free , ' but declined to repeat or expand upon his sentiment when invited to do so . grey lay awake for a little , fighting tiredness , his mind reaching upward . he had worn uniform , though not full-dress , so that his identity would be apparent . he did hope that he might recover his men - the two sentries who had disappeared on the night of governor warren 's murder . their bodies had not been discovered , nor had any of their uniform or equipment turned up - and captain cherry had had the whole of spanish town and king 's town turned over in the search . if they had been taken alive , though , that reinforced his impression of accompong - and gave him some hope that this rebellion might be resolved in some manner not involving a prolonged military campaign fought through jungles and rocks , and ending in chains and executions . his horse - all the horses - were gone . so was the pack-mule and its panniers . he saw this at once - the blankets in which they 'd lain the night before were still there , tumbled into the bushes - but he called for them anyway , again and again , until his throat was raw with shouting . he shouted upward into the dizzying sea of swaying green . i 'll have my young men back , and back safe - or i 'll have his head ! ' blood rose in his face , and he thought he might burst , but had better sense than to punch something , which was his very strong urge . he had to arrive among the maroons with everything that still remained to him , if he meant to rescue tom and resolve the rebellion - and he did mean to rescue tom , no matter what . that 's when he saw them , sitting neatly side-by-side under a thorny bush . he simply climbed , and listened for the horns . he paused , looking upward . the ground had begun to level out here ; there were open spots in the jungle , and in one of these small clearings , he saw what were plainly crops : mounds of curling vines that might be yams , bean-poles , the big yellow flowers of squash or gourds . he took off the crude hat he had woven from palm leaves against the strong sun , and wiped his face on the tail of his shirt .

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after a time , we reached a crossroads , where we stopped a moment while the bald man and the leader conferred in low tones . jamie dropped the reins over the horse 's neck and let it wander to the verge to crop grass , while he began twisting and turning behind me . `` do n't twist like that , or your dressing will come off ! `` get my plaid loose to cover you , '' he replied . but i canna do it one-handed . can ye reach the clasp of my brooch for me ? '' with a good deal of tugging and awkward shifting , we got the plaid loosened . with a surprisingly dexterous swirl , he twirled the cloth out and let it settle , shawllike , around his shoulders . he then put the ends over my shoulders and tucked them neatly under the saddle edge , so that we were both warmly wrapped . `` we dinna want ye to freeze before we get there . '' `` thank you , '' i said , grateful for the shelter . i could n't see his face , behind and above me , but he paused a moment before answering . at last he laughed shortly . `` tell ye the truth , lassie , i do n't know . reckon we 'll both find out when we get there , eh ? '' something seemed faintly familiar about the section of countryside through which we were passing . surely i knew that large rock formation ahead , the one shaped like a rooster 's tail ? `` cocknammon rock ! '' `` aye , reckon , '' said my escort , unexcited by this revelation . `` did n't the english use it for ambushes ? '' i asked , trying to remember the dreary details of local history frank had spent hours regaling me with over the last week . `` if there is an english patrol in the neighborhood ... '' i hesitated . if there was an english patrol in the neighborhood , perhaps i was wrong to draw attention to it . and yet , in case of an ambush , i would be quite indistinguishable from my companion , shrouded as we were in one plaid . and i thought again of captain jonathan randall , and shuddered involuntarily . everything i had seen since i had stepped through the cleft stone pointed toward the completely irrational conclusion that the man i had met in the wood was in fact frank 's six-times-great-grandfather . i fought stubbornly against this conclusion , but was unable to formulate another that met the facts . i had at first imagined that i was merely dreaming more vividly than usual , but randall 's kiss , rudely familiar and immediately physical , had dispelled that impression . neither did i imagine that i had dreamed being knocked on the head by murtagh ; the soreness on my scalp was being matched by a chafing of my inner thighs against the saddle , which seemed most undreamlike . and the blood ; yes , i was familiar enough with blood to have dreamed of it before . but never had i dreamed the scent of blood ; that warm , coppery tang that i could still smell on the man behind me . `` tck . '' he clucked to our horse and urged it up alongside the leader 's , engaging the burly shadow in quiet gaelic conversation . at a signal from the leader , jamie , murtagh , and the small bald man dropped back , while the other two spurred up and galloped toward the rock , a quartermile ahead to the right . a half-moon had come up , and the light was bright enough to pick out the leaves of the mallow plants growing on the roadside , but the shadows in the clefts of the rock could hide anything . just as the galloping shapes passed the rock , a flash of musket fire sparked from a hollow . there was a bloodcurdling shriek from directly behind me , and the horse leaped forward as though jabbed with a sharp stick . we were suddenly racing toward the rock across the heather , murtagh and the other man alongside , hair-raising screams and bellows splitting the night air . i hung onto the pommel for dear life . suddenly reining up next to a large gorse bush , jamie grabbed me round the waist and unceremoniously dumped me into it . the horse whirled sharply and sprinted off again , circling the rock to come along the south side . i could see the rider crouching low in the saddle as the horse vanished into the rock 's shadow . when it emerged , still galloping , the saddle was empty . the rock surfaces were cratered with shadow ; i could hear shouts and occasional musket shots , but could n't tell if the movements i saw were those of men , or only the shades of the stunted oaks that sprouted from cracks in the rock . i extricated myself from the bush with some difficulty , picking bits of prickly gorse from my skirt and hair . i licked a scratch on my hand , wondering what on earth i was to do now .

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i 'd do anything-and everything-for you . '' hunter rose and smiled , covering her mouth with his own again and sinking into the honey-sweet kiss , as slow as molasses . kata wriggled , moaned , clutched his shoulders , the edgings of desperation apparent in her every move . he took her by the hand and led her to the padded table in the living room for two reasons : first , he wanted to be as far away from those f**king divorce papers as he could manage . second , what he needed to do to her would be much easier to achieve here . once they reached the low black table , he eased her down to the surface , stomach first . when the cold leather hit her skin , she tensed . casting a gaze over her shoulder at him , panic tinged her hazel gaze . he could not let her brain kick in again . flattening his palm over her back , hunter caressed his way down her ass until he curled his palm between her legs , right over her p**sy , and toyed with her cl*t enough to keep her on edge . `` i love the feel of you , so wet . '' he circled an idle fingertip around that hardened bundle of nerves . `` i wonder how long i can draw this orgasm out . do n't try to wring me inside out ! '' hunter flipped the switch under the table , turning it from a stylish , black studded ottoman to a fully functional play table . the compartments that concealed a set of o-rings retracted . he reached into the drawer beneath the table and pulled out two pairs of cuffs . in less than ten seconds , he had one attached to each of her wrists and the other end secured to the table . `` let me please you , '' he said firmly . she pulled at her wrists , her body beyond taut with anxiety . `` you want this orgasm . '' shaking her hair out of the way , kata glared at him over her shoulder . `` but you do n't need it . `` do n't torment me . '' she wriggled in vain . `` damn it , uncuff me ! '' not until he 'd given her more of what she needed . unless she used her safe word , he 'd keep pushing her boundaries . anything else she cried out was just for show . reaching into the drawer beneath the table again , he pulled out a tube of lube . and god bless jack , there was a new multipronged vibrator sitting there , still in the wrapper , perfect for what he needed . he grabbed it and rose . striding across to the kitchen , he unwrapped the toy , washed it , then inserted batteries , which he thankfully found in a drawer . back on the ottoman , he slid kata over his lap , then lubed up his fingers and the toy . the edge of fear was back in her voice . `` you 're doing well , so i 'm adding something to your ... he traced a finger down the line of her ass and pressed in , finding the tight little hole he knew no one else had ever touched . he knew it did n't ; he 'd barely put a finger on her . `` n-no , but ... '' `` then do n't speak unless i ask you to or you wish to use your safe word . if you do n't , i 'll stop touching you altogether . kata paused for a long moment , so long hunter thought he would have to make good on that threat . finally , she whispered . slowly , he pressed his finger inside her tight entrance . she clamped down hard on him , but with a gentle nudge , he pushed past the ring of resistance , all the way inside . when she tried to peer at him over her shoulders , he pressed down on her shoulder blades with his free hand . she needed not to rely on her senses , but on their bond . kata struggled for a moment , then fell still . easing out , he ringed the entrance again , spreading more lube , then pressed in with two fingers . she clenched her cheeks , and he rubbed her hip softly . slowly , she relaxed . `` this is n't comfortable . '' yeah , for him , either . she was like an inferno , burning his fingers . the hot , tight pressure ... god , when he got his c*ck back there , not only would it feel incredible , but many women said that taking a man anally felt like one of the most submissive acts possible . it sure as hell felt both dominant and intimate to him-exactly what he craved with kata . he spread his fingers apart . `` this is for you , honey , to make taking me easier when the time comes . '' hunter worked his fingers inside her tight recesses , back and forth , in and nearly out , massaging her and coaxing her each time she clenched up .

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he laid the back of his hand in tara 's palm and discovered that some things had n't changed . even knowing she was a liar did n't stop that same old zing from ripping through his veins . her familiar sultry , spicy fragrance filled his lungs as she bent over her task . he welcomed the distracting sting of disinfectant as she gently cleaned the nick . `` should i have the staff prepare your old suite of rooms at the house ? '' rand 's living arrangements were only going to add fuel to the rumors . was that tara 's plan ? did she think she could use gossip to force him into a commitment ? if so , she 'd be disappointed . rand met tara 's gaze then his brother 's . `` i have a place lined up . besides , you already have company . '' mitch 's part of the will required him to play daddy to a child from one of their father 's affairs , a one-year-old half brother rand had n't known existed until richards handed out inheritance assignments . the boy and his guardian had moved into kincaid manor . rand had yet to meet the kid . but in his opinion , the boy was better off not having everett kincaid in his life . tara quickly and efficiently bandaged rand 's finger , then released his hand and packed away her first-aid supplies without mentioning their cohabitation . if she planned to use it as leverage , then why had n't she informed mitch ? `` human resources has the first candidate for the director of shared services position downstairs . which one of you is conducting the final interviews ? '' `` show him or her to the conference room , '' rand directed and looked at mitch . you know nadia 's current duties better than i do , and you 'll be better able to gauge which applicant can handle them . but i 'm sitting in . the coo should join us , too . '' `` there is no chief operating officer . dad eliminated the position when you left . '' rand banked the information to deal with later . no doubt that action had launched its own series of rumors . `` then we 'll handle the interviews together . as a team . '' mitch remained motionless for a full ten seconds , his gaze direct and hard . rand held his brother 's challenging stare and once again cursed his father for putting rand in what should have been mitch 's job . as chief financial officer , his brother was the logical choice if the coo position had been eliminated-even if rand had been raised to be ceo of kcl and had the experience of the top job with the competition . mitch nodded and left rand 's office . tara turned to follow him . she paused then looked at rand . he lifted his hand to indicate the bandage . she bit her lip and shifted on her sandaled feet . the pain in her voice slipped between his ribs quicker than his pen knife had pricked his finger . he hardened himself to the wounded shadows in her eyes . she was a damned good actress . too bad her talent was wasted on him . `` you were merely the straw that broke this camel 's back . you and my father deserved each other . '' `` but i- '' `` what , tara ? '' he barked when she did n't continue . her chin and gaze fell . because the subject of the past is closed . her shoulders snapped straight . rand scanned his father's-and now his-domain . he 'd always hated this office . with its architectural glass-and-chrome desk , the bare , cold marble floors and the glass walls overlooking biscayne bay , the room looked more like a trophy case than a workspace . an empty trophy case . he eyed his father 's metal mesh ergonomic chair with disgust . the old man 's motto- '' a real executive never looks like he 's working '' -rang in rand 's ears . not rand 's management style . `` get me some furniture . file cabinets . wood , for godsakes . this pane of glass is useless . i want a decent chair-leather-rugs on the floor and comfortable visitor seating that does n't look like acrylic urinals . and send the it team up to connect my laptop to the company network . my father may have refused to work with a computer , but i wo n't work without one . '' her words snapped as sharp as a salute . `` i need hard copies of the press releases for the past five years , a current financial statement and a list of kcl 's officers and division heads within the hour . she pivoted sharply and headed for the doorway , but then stopped and faced him again without speaking . `` spit it out , tara . '' ah , yes , the other part of this ridiculous farce . why had she demanded sex and cohabitation ? what did she expect to gain if not a rich husband ? he did n't buy her too-busy-to-date story . a woman who looked like tara would n't lack dates or sexual partners if she wanted them .

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swiveling at the hips , he perused his back and the scratches that laced either side of his spine . just above his buttocks , two round shadows hinted at bruises to come , marks left by his wife 's heels as she spurred him on . `` i 'll be damned , '' he breathed , his eyes wide . he looked nigh as bad as pel . no passive lover was she . he was well met . something wondrous tingled in his chest , and then burst forth as a low chuckle . `` you are an odd creature , '' came the sleep-husky voice behind him . `` laughing is not the first thing i think of doing when i see you nak*d. '' heat rushed over his skin . he moved back toward the bed , and as he did so , he could not help but notice the marks of his teeth on her neck . his blood heated and rushed at the sight . he was a primitive beast , but at least he knew it . `` what is the first thing , then ? '' pel pushed herself up to a seated position . disheveled and flushed , she looked ravished and it was an air of satiation that would linger around her throughout the evening , an unspoken claim . `` i think your ass is divine , and i wish to bite it . '' `` bite it ? '' she tucked the sheet beneath her arms , her face devoid of the humor that would have revealed she was teasing . `` why on earth would you wish to do such a thing ? '' `` because it looks taut and firm . licking her lips , she arched a challenging brow . `` i wish to see if it 's as hard when clenched between my teeth . '' his hands moved without volition to cover his rear . gerard studied his wife with a narrowed glance . it never occurred to him that isabel might also have some ... quirks in the bedroom . since she had indulged his anomalous cravings , he supposed it was only fair that he indulge hers , even if his flesh did tighten warily at the thought . her amber eyes darkened and heated , a sensual invitation to dally , and he could not refuse . not when her capitulation was so fresh . he had wanted this , wanted her willing , and if that meant allowing her to bite his ass , he would bear it . then he would dress and speak to spencer . `` odd , this , '' he muttered , lying facedown beside her . `` i did not suggest this very moment , '' she said dryly . `` or even that i wished to make the thought a reality . i simply answered your question . '' he heaved out a relieved breath . but when he moved to leave the bed , she dropped the sheet and bared her br**sts . groaning , he asked , `` how in hell is a man expected to go about his business when you tempt him so ? '' wiggling her courtesan 's body out from under his sheets , she stunned him with her beauty so that he lost the sense to move as she crawled over him . `` or are you comfortable only when you are the biter ? '' isabel straddled his back in reverse-her feet by his hands , her h*ps at his shoulders , her br**sts at the small of his back . the lush feel of her curves and the seductive heat of her sleep-warmed body made him hard again . and he had thought himself spent for a while . encircling her ankles with an apprehensive grip , gerard waited . then he felt her hands , so tiny and soft , stroking along the curve of his buttocks before squeezing gently . that he could not see her actions only increased the surprising eroticism of the act . ridiculous though it was , the thought of her admiring another man in such a manner unnerved him . `` have you always had this fascination ? '' you have a singular ass . '' he waited for more , but she said nothing further . instead she began to hum a soft appreciative sound , and his c*ck grew so hard it hurt to be prone . the tips of her fingers kneaded his flesh , rubbing and pressing in a way that made every hair on his body stand at attention . gooseflesh dotted his skin . closing his eyes , he buried his face in the bed . a soft touch followed the crease where his buttocks met his thighs . then he felt the heat of her breath gust across his skin . he tensed all over-starting at his rear and then spreading outward . the wait was endless . first one cheek , and then the other . soft , open-mouthed kisses . he felt her n**ples grow stiff against his back , and took some comfort knowing he was not alone in this . then his wife bit him , ever so gently , and his toes curled . his bloody toes curled ! `` christ , isabel , '' he said hoarsely , his h*ps moving restlessly , pressing his aching c*ck into the bed .

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she loved making places clean , and her small apartment was immaculate . his blond hair caught the light of the lamp by his desk side . the golden strands looked silken , and she wanted to run her fingers through his hair to see if they were as soft as they looked . you 're going insane . working this job has built up a fantasy inside your head . ignoring the impulse to speak to him , she picked up her dusting cloth and started working throughout the top floor of the office . on several of the desks lay empty sweet wrappers . lana picked them up , then threw them into her trashcan . she did n't know how some people could work in mess or even function . humming to herself , lana worked through each desk making it spotlessly clean for the next day . she loved cleaning . there was no chance of her getting emotionally attached to anyone . the cleaning company she worked for required one person on each floor of the building to clean that one floor at the anderson corporation . she worked on the top floor after the staff had gone home . the job description saved her from getting her heart-broken again . her last boyfriend of two years had left her over a year ago . frank had taken two years of her life and crushed her heart as well as what little ego she 'd kept . there was no way she 'd ever let another man get inside her heart or her head . when she 'd first been with frank , he 'd been a caring , loving boyfriend . in the last year of their relationship he 'd changed . frank started getting angrier , and he 'd lash out . lana hated being one of the women who made excuses , but she ended up finding reasons for his behaviour . fortunately , frank never put her in the hospital as otherwise she 'd be in trouble . since frank had worked his magic on her while dumping her , she refused to allow another man inside her heart or her body . she liked living alone in her spotless apartment with nothing to look forward to other than her weekend ritual of baking . her neighbours loved her baking , and that 's how her life was going to remain . careful , organised , and peaceful , the three words were her motto . baking , reading , cooking , cleaning , and work . she let out a sigh then grabbed the vacuum cleaner to start cleaning the floor . during the summer months she kept the windows open to allow dust and fresh air to permeate the office . it was the middle of fall going into winter . opening the windows would only freeze her . going back to her humming , she started cleaning around each desk . every so often lana looked up to see kent reading in his office . sometimes he typed on his computer . he did n't look her way at all . cleaning ladies were supposed to be invisible to everyone else . the company she worked for held a standard that she prided herself in keeping . lana may not hold any qualifications , but she could make the places she worked at shine . none of the customers she served in the diner complained about her service . she took pride in being able to excel at what she did . lana had graduated from high-school at eighteen and had worked every day since to keep herself alive . her mother had lived in a trailer park , and she 'd moved out the moment school finished . college was a big fat no . lana got by on what little she knew . she could read , write , and spell , but everything else had been really difficult for her to deal with . it was hard for her to concentrate during high-school because of her mother 's drinking and late night callers . even though her mother denied being a whore , there were plenty of men willing to pay her for services rendered . at school she 'd been the fat daughter of the drunken , town whore . lana had vowed to get away . she hated the men who tried to sneak into her bedroom late at night when her mother was passed out . to be safe , she 'd climbed out of her window and gone down to the lake where an old ratty sofa lay . she 'd curled up in a blanket she kept in her backpack . those nights were only during the summer . when it was too cold to leave the trailer , she 'd wedged a chair against the handle stopping anyone from coming in . her mother was a light sleeper , so anyone banging on her daughter 's bedroom door would wake her up . none of the men would risk her mother 's wrath to get to fatty lana . shaking her head , lana put more effort into vacuuming . she hated thinking about the past . the past left a bad taste in her mouth . her mother was n't a bad woman , but she was n't a great one either . she preferred to drink and sleep with plenty of men rather than help her daughter graduate with a decent education . lana did n't know who her father was or what he looked like . she figured he was one of the numerous men to go inside her mother 's trailer .

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the nurse explained that once a week local restaurants donated lunch to the center . after choosing a turkey sandwich , kelly sat down at one of the empty tables . though she wasnt usually shy , kelly was apprehensive at the thought of sitting with a stranger . what if they asked why she was there ? before long , however , kelly was joined by a girl who looked to be in her twenties . she was painfully thin , and her wrists were bandaged . hi , my names rachel , the girl said , smiling . she unwrapped a veggie sandwich . im kelly bowling , kelly said . rachel shook her hand . nice to meet you , kelly . yes , kelly said cautiously , afraid they were headed for dangerous territory . dont worry , rachel said . you dont have to tell me why youre here . nobody has to share unless they want to share . i have bipolar disorder , kelly said . she wondered why she said it ; she didnt even know this girl . i have borderline personality disorder . im here because of these , rachel held up her bandaged wrists . luckily , im getting better . kelly and rachel exchanged small talk for a few short minutes , and then they ate in silence . kellys mind was racing , anticipating with dread the group therapy that would take place that afternoon . rachel finished her lunch , placed her leftovers in the box , and stood up to throw away her garbage . before she walked away , she paused and looked at kelly . this isnt like the movies . people here get better , and then they go home . at 2:00 kelly walked back into the commons room where several patients were already seated in a circle . kelly took her place and tried not to look at anyone . she didnt want to be asked any questions , and she didnt plan on sharing . she wasnt sure how much of her pain she was willing to share , so it seemed safer to keep all of it to herself for now . she carefully surveyed the group without making eye contact . rachel was there , chatting with another girl who looked as if she was the same age . there were two middle aged men who sat silently , one of them looking out the window and the other looking at the hands that were folded in his lap . there was also a woman who was probably in her fifties . she was very well-dressed and was sitting in a composed and ladylike fashion . only the dark circles under her eyes betrayed the pain she was in . kelly didnt pay much attention during that first session . her mind was elsewhere , obsessed with her own pain and wondering what mike was doing , how the kids were doing , how she would ever have peace . she did manage to introduce herself , but while the others shared , kelly allowed her mind to wander . rachel had to tap her on the shoulder when the therapy session was over . the next morning , kelly had another session with dr. redding . as she walked in and sat down , dr. redding said , i heard you were pretty quiet at the group therapy session yesterday . kelly felt a little defensive . it was the first day . most people dont say a lot the first few days . they have to get used to everyone and get comfortable . most people are actually pretty aloof for the first week . he paused for a moment and then handed kelly a small notebook . while you are getting comfortable talking , id like you to do some writing , keep a journal . kelly had kept a diary for years , but it had been a long time . she took the notebook and flipped idly through the empty pages . journaling will be good for you while you arent settled enough to speak out during groups , or even during our sessions . then dr. redding sat back . we really didnt talk much yesterday . id like to hear about the last year or so of your life . you can hit the high points or be specific . just give me a framework for where youve been . kelly looked out the window , wondering where to start . well , she began , i know that you know i had an affair . that was in the spring . yes , but lets go farther back . what was going on this time last fall ? last fall wasnt so great . mike and i werent really getting along . well , i guess we were both pretty much wrapped up in our own little worlds . i was working from home and doing all of the home stuff , and mike was busy with his business . we didnt really see each other very much . and when you did see each other ? it wasnt always rosy , thats for sure . its okay , kelly . you can say anything you want however you want in here . you dont have to sugar coat it . and then kelly began pouring out her frustrations over mikes distance , her attraction to andrew , her suspicions that mike was having an affair , and her own affair .

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chapter 9 isabel paused in the foyer of her home at the sound of masculine voices . one was rushed and urgent . the other , her husband 's , was low and unwavering . the door to gray 's study was closed or she would have peeked , out of curiosity . instead , she looked at the butler who was collecting her hat and gloves . `` who is with lord grayson ? '' `` lord spencer faulkner , my lady . '' the servant paused a moment , then added , `` he arrived with luggage . '' she blinked , but in no other way did she betray her surprise . with a nod of dismissal , isabel went to the kitchen to make certain the cook was aware of the extra mouth to feed . then she went upstairs to take a short nap . she was exhausted , both from a night spent with very little sleep and an afternoon of chatting inanities with women who spoke unkind things about her behind her back . rhys was supposed to have been both support and a distraction , but he himself had seemed distracted , his gaze wandering restlessly over the guests as if he were looking for something . like a way to escape , she imagined . with the help of her abigail , isabel stripped down to her stockings and chemise , then took down her hair . within moments after lying on her bed , she was asleep and dreaming of gray . isabel , he breathed in a voice filled with sin . his mouth , hot and wet , moved across her exposed shoulder . his stroking hand was equally hot , the callused palm causing a delicious friction even through the silk that covered her legs . her heart warned her to refuse him , and her arm lifted to push his touch away . i need you , he said roughly . her blood thrummed with eagerness and she whimpered , every nerve ending alive and waiting for the pleasure he could bring . she could smell him and feel his warmth . his ardor radiated outward , igniting hers . it was a dream , and she did not want to wake up . nothing she did here would affect her . good girl , he praised , his lips to her ear . he lifted her thigh and set it over his . she came to consciousness with a start . and found a very hard bodied , very aroused grayson at her back . struggling , isabel squirmed out of his embrace and sat up . he rolled to his back and tucked his hands under his head , completely unabashed about his obvious erection . dressed in an open-collared shirt and trousers , his blue eyes sparkling with both devilry and lust , he was unbearably handsome . `` well , cease . '' she crossed her arms under her bosom and his eyes dropped to her br**sts . her blasted n**ples replied with enthusiasm . `` which i never agreed to . '' `` bring that mouth over here , '' he murmured , his eyelids lowering . `` you are dreadful . '' `` that is not what you said last night . i believe you said , 'oh god , gray , that is so good . ' '' isabel threw a pillow at him . gray laughed and shoved it under his head . she sighed and shrugged , her body achingly aware of the man who sat so close to her . `` lady marley had a breakfast . '' `` was it pleasant ? i confess , i 'm surprised you managed to lure trenton to such an event . '' `` he wants a favor . '' `` ah , extortion . '' `` you would , you wicked man . '' catching up one of the pillows , she reclined opposite him . `` perhaps you could fetch my robe ? '' `` damnation , no , '' he said , shaking his head . `` i have no wish to incite your already considerable appetite for sexual congress , '' she said dryly . he caught up her hand and kissed her fingertips . `` the mere thought of you incites me . at least this way , i also have a charming view . '' `` was your day better than mine ? '' she asked , making every effort to ignore how his touch burned her . `` my brother has come for an extended visit . '' gooseflesh spread across her skin as he stroked her palm . apparently , he is running amok . '' `` hmm ... well , he is the age for it . '' but studying gray , she could see he was disturbed . `` you look so grave . gray fell onto his back again and stared up at the ornate ceiling . `` he has not yet run up any great debt or angered someone 's husband , but he is certainly on a steady course in that direction . i should have been here to guide him , but once again my own needs came before anyone else 's . '' `` you can not blame yourself , '' she protested . `` any wildness on his part is natural for boys his age . '' her husband stilled , his head turning to reveal narrowed eyes . `` boys his age ? '' she recoiled slightly , suddenly wary .

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he was desperate to be one with her . in body , in passion . to f**k her harder , faster , and deeper than she had ever been f**ked before and to have her pay him in kind . have her respond with a similar wildness of need and hunger . `` hurry , '' she urged , her body rigid . christopher paused , understanding that she felt vulnerable , knowing that the change in the rules of the game had her wary and slightly frightened . he was uncertain as well , taking tentative steps as he trod new ground , never having bared himself in such a manner before . so he deviated slightly , gripping the back of her gown and rending it open with a quick , hard tear . she stepped out of the remnants and faced him , her waist hugged by a corset , her legs lost in her skirts . `` discard your breeches , '' she ordered , `` and lie on the bed . '' he studied her as his hands moved leisurely to do as she bade . she wanted control . he would give it to her , showing her by example that he was willing to put himself in her hands , if she would do the same for him . `` i want you nak*d , as well . '' nodding , christopher freed his c*ck and shoved his breeches down . maria 's gaze dropped to his erection , goading him to take it in hand and pump it , bringing his seed to slip out over the head . he asked , holding his c*ck out to her like an offering . what looked like sadness drifted across her delicate features . a low moan escaped him as he continued to masturbate for her view . pleasure coiled around his spine and made his c*ck swel further . `` i have been too long without you , maria . did you miss me the same ? '' `` i wrote to you . '' `` will you punish me for desiring some sign of your affection ? for wanting you to visit me in my bed , rather than the reverse ? '' `` stop , '' she said hoarsely , her gaze riveted to his industrious hands . `` i want you hard and thick inside me , not spent . '' christopher dropped his hands to his sides , leaving his c*ck reddened , weeping seed , and curving upward . this was entirely new to him , this forfeit of power . he doubted he could do this for anyone else . a lesser woman would not have the deep-rooted command required to take the control from him . even emaline , with all of her vast experience , had n't been able to master him in the bedroom . it was why she sometimes serviced him herself instead of granting him the use of one-or more-of her girls . she occasional y needed the luxury of simply being f**ked rather than being the one to do all the work . so he waited , his breathing harsh , his skin misted with sweat . the anticipation rose , charging the air , inciting him further . sex could be boring if the action lul ed . the space between him and maria fil ed with a palpable energy , just as it always had . he prodded , tossing her words back at her . `` perhaps i am not ready . '' his brow rose to match hers ; he knew she was lying by the high flush on her chest and cheeks , and the rapid lift and fall of her br**sts . he knew she was wet , knew that watching him pleasure himself had also pleasured her . `` i can make you ready , '' he offered solicitously . for a moment she did not move , his dark-haired temptress with her creamy skin and deep red lips . her chemise , corset , and underskirts were white , hinting at an angelic image that was ruined by those knowing eyes with their impossibly thick lashes . he could see her delicious n**ples through the sheer cotton , and his mouth watered with the urge to suck on them . the tiny heart-shaped patch teased him to kiss that lush mouth , to slide his c*ck into it and thrust until he burst . more cum beaded on the tip of his c*ck and slid down the burning , pulsing skin of his shaft . `` would you all ow me to take you with my mouth ? '' `` it would please me to make love to you that way . '' her gaze darkened at his choice of wording and her lips parted on panting breaths . she nodded and stepped past him , her skirts swaying with her agitated stride . when she was decided , she never looked back . he fol owed , his brain in a fog of lust and deep yearning . she took a seat on the settee , her back ramrod straight . the pose was prim , until she hooked one knee over the curved wooden armrest and pulled back the masses of white material , baring first her beautiful y curved calves , then her lithe thighs , and final y , the silken heaven between her legs .

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more like pervert boy . alani cant believe you made carmen an outfit like that ! so you wanted to see her in next to nothing , did you ? and i thought better of you the supermodel shook her head with a disappointed look on her face . no , the one i wanted to see in next to nothing was you . then he began to turn red as he realized that kim had just called him a pervert . p-pervert ? noits not like that . kim , i- carmen wanted an outfit like that . she asked me to make it like that . alan begged , willing kim to understand . he didnt like the thought of kim thinking he was some kind of degenerate . kim said as she crossed her arms over her chest . carmen laughed and her laughter was musical , like ringing christmas bells . she turned her attention to dante , sashayed over to the bar , slid onto one of the barstools , and crossed her legs . how about you , dante ? what do you think of my new outfit ? dante had been polishing a glass as he tried not to look at joan . he looked up and met carmens eyes . he glanced down and his eyes widened slightly at the outfit alan had made the pianist . was alan a closet-pervert or something ? hed have to have a little chat with alan about this later . the demon quickly looked back up at her eyes . you lookindecent . dante finally said after a short pause . joan snorted as she tried to hold back her laughter . take that carmen . even kim looked amused by dantes rather dry response . carmen pouted at the bartenders coldness towards her . indecent or did you mean decadent ? she reached out , picked up a maraschino cherry , popped it into her mouth , and chewed . she moaned sensually . save the act for outside . you girls are going to roast chestnuts , right ? dante asked , strategically changing the subject . make sure to preheat your grill to four hundred degrees fahrenheit . if the chestnuts are small enough to fall through the cooking grate , place them in a grill topper , grill wok , or in a pie tin with holes punched in the bottom . otherwise , place the chestnuts directly on the cooking grate . cooking time should roughly be fifteen minutes , but watch them carefully to prevent burning . chestnuts should be turned or tossed around on the grill every five minutes so that they cook evenly and the shells do not burn excessively . dante began to recite the instructions hed read online word for word . my desire for you is no- carmen was saying when joan cut her off with a clap of her hands . thats right , dante . girls lets go roast some chestnuts ! joan urged as she put her arms around carmen and kims shoulders , and began to escort them towards the door . carmen pouted , looking put out , and tapped her bottom lip with her index finger . kim easily agreed . with dante and alans help the portable grill was carried outside and the girls began to roast chestnuts . the smell was divine . it had stopped snowing and there was a layer of glittering snow upon the ground . it was still cold old but by standing close to the grill the girls were able to stay warm even while wearing their skimpy , festive costumes . joan had never felt more embarrassed or self-conscious in all her life . sometimes when she dressed in a skirt - she even felt afraid , but not now . dante was just inside of dullahans and she knew that if she called out to him he would be there in a second . the thought surprised her though . i shouldnt count on a demon . he may help joan simone but he would kill jeanne darc gods chosen warrior . if he knew who i really washed hate me . a frown formed on her face at the dour thought . if he knew the truth about mewould he be able to forgive me ? joan looked over at her friend kim who was now laughing and smiling with carmen as they greeted customers , sold chestnuts , and ushered clients inside of the pub . the men who had been in line for cornelia street caf seemed to smell the roasting chestnuts and flocked towards carmen like bees to honey . and a little similar to the phenomenon of gilebert at cornelia street caf . were gilebert and carmen such sensual people that they just had power over normal people ? were their pheromones just that strong ? carmen seemed to be soaking up the attention - literally . her skin looked like it was glowing . in about an hour the line at cornelia street caf had decreased to half and it took one more hour for the line to go down completely .

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1699], ["chestnut", 1709], ["chestnuts", 1709], ["right", 1717], ["rightest", 1717], ["strategically", 1747], ["change", 1756], ["changing", 1756], ["subject", 1768], ["subjectest", 1768], ["sure", 1780], ["preheat", 1791], ["grill", 1802], ["four", 1810], ["hundred", 1818], ["degree", 1826], ["degrees", 1826], ["fahrenheit", 1837], ["small", 1866], ["enough", 1873], ["fall", 1881], ["falls", 1881], ["cooking", 1901], ["grate", 1907], ["grates", 1907], ["grating", 1907], ["place", 1915], ["topper", 1938], ["wok", 1950], ["pie", 1964], ["tin", 1968], ["hole", 1979], ["holes", 1979], ["punch", 1987], ["punching", 1987], ["punched", 1987], ["bottom", 2001], ["bottoming", 2001], ["otherwise", 2013], ["directly", 2044], ["time", 2080], ["roughly", 2095], ["fifteen", 2106], ["minute", 2114], ["minutes", 2114], ["watch", 2126], ["carefully", 2141], ["prevent", 2152], ["preventest", 2152], ["burning", 2160], ["toss", 2199], ["tossed", 2199], ["around", 2206], ["every", 2225], ["five", 2230], 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who could i go to ? hans ? the guy who hated me ? he would n't believe me , not like alberta or my mother would . running down the quiet hallways , i dismissed all such worries . i would make him believe . i would find anyone i could . anyone who could get lissa and christian out of this . only you can , a voice hissed in my head . you 're the one dimitri wants . i ignored that thought too , largely because in my distraction , i collided into someone rounding a corner . i gave a muffled cry that sounded like `` oomph '' as my face slammed into someone 's chest . i would have been relieved , except i was too pumped full of adrenaline and worry . i grabbed his sleeve and began tugging him toward the stairs . we have to get help ! '' mikhail remained were he was , not budging against my pull . he frowned , face calm . lissa and christian . they 've been taken by strigoi -- by dimitri . mikhail 's confusion grew . `` rose ... how long have you been down here ? '' leaving him , i fled up the stairs to the main levels of the complex . a moment later i heard his footsteps behind me . when i reached the main office , i expected someone to chastise me for leaving my punishment , except ... no one seemed to even notice me . guardians were running around , calls were being made , and voices rose to frantic levels . they knew , i realized . i called , pushing my way through the crowd . he was on the other side of the room and had just hung up on a cell call . `` hans , i know where they are . where the strigoi took lissa and christian . '' `` hathaway , i do n't have time for your -- '' his scowl faltered . `` you have that bond . '' i 'd been ready for him to dismiss me as a nuisance . i 'd been ready for a long fight to convince him . i gave him a hasty nod . i saw everything that happened . '' `` how do you know already ? '' `` serena , '' he said grimly . `` serena 's dead ... '' he shook his head . though she certainly sounded like it on the phone . whatever happened , it took everything she had to make that call . we have alchemists coming to get her , and ... clean up . '' i replayed the events , remembering how serena had been slammed against the asphalt . it had been a hard blow , and when she did n't move , i 'd assumed the worst . yet if she 'd survived -- and apparently she must have -- i could just barely form a mental image of her dragging her cell phone out of her pocket with bloody hands ... . please , please let her be alive , i thought , not sure who i was praying to . `` come on , '' said hans . there are teams already forming . '' there was another surprise . i had n't expected him to bring me on so quickly . a new respect for hans settled over me . he might act like an asshole , but he was a leader . when he saw an asset , he used it . in one swift motion , he was hurrying out the door , several guardians following him . i struggled to keep up with their longer strides and saw mikhail coming as well . `` you 're doing a rescue , '' i told hans . i hesitated to even speak the words . i certainly did n't want to discourage this . but moroi rescues were n't normal . when strigoi took them , they were often regarded as dead . the rescue we 'd done after the academy attack had been an oddity , one that had taken a lot of persuasion . hans gave me a wry look . `` so is the dragomir princess . '' lissa was precious to me , worth more than anything else in the world . and for the moroi , i realized , she was precious too . most moroi captured by strigoi might be regarded as dead , but she was n't most moroi . she was the last in her line , the last of one of twelve ancient families . losing her would n't just be a hit to moroi culture . it would be a sign , an omen that the strigoi were truly defeating us . for her , the guardians would risk a rescue mission . in fact , it appeared they would risk a lot of things . as we arrived at the garages where the court 's vehicles were stored , i saw masses of other guardians arriving -- along with moroi . tasha ozera was among them , and like her , the others were fire users . if we 'd learned anything , it was how valuable they were in a fight . it appeared the controversy of moroi going to battle was being ignored right now , and i was amazed at how quickly this group had been summoned .

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but ryan had been his ever-charming self , attentive to melody , even more so after melissa had gone home . but she could n't focus on ryan after a couple of drinks . her thoughts kept going back to logan , to their night together . she was distant and it was n't long before ryan picked up on it . `` is there something bothering you , melody ? is it patrick ? '' patrick was the least of her worries . she had n't thought about him in days . in fact , it surprised her at how easily she had been able to just push the whole thing out of her mind . he 'd called a few times , once asking for the ring back as melissa had predicted . she was n't sure what that said about their relationship ... or lack thereof . `` not so much patrick as my reaction to what happened . i did something ... rash . '' she took a sip of her drink , playing with the little plastic sword that held a cherry that lay at the bottom of the glass . `` i ca n't imagine you doing something rash . '' ryan chuckled softly , leaning on the bar watching her closely . `` you 're the epitome of clear thinking . `` i had a drunken , one-night stand with a complete stranger . '' there , the words were out . she 'd admitted her foolish mistake . ryan was quiet for a moment , looking at her with a serious expression on his handsome face . `` well , i guess that was a rash move . but still ... '' he reached out , his hand resting on hers , squeezing her fingers briefly , warm and solid against her skin . `` it 's not like you 've continued that pattern . you 're not a wanton woman ; i 'm sure it was just an extreme reaction to an extreme situation . '' melody 's head jerked , a fragment of memory sliding through her mind . never leave the macallan , even for a beautiful wanton woman . damn logan mackenzie . `` it was ... extreme . '' melody did n't want to recount the details to ryan , but she 'd kept everything bottled up for so long the words just seemed to tumble from her mouth . `` it 's just ... well , i ca n't forget about it . it was ... i do n't want to be dramatic , and i ca n't say it was life-changing , but it was ... more , maybe ... '' she frowned at her drink , poking the cherry with the plastic spear . she really could n't continue to explain just how intense the night with logan had been , especially with her boss . `` maybe you 've fixated on this guy ... whoever he is ... rather than dealing with patrick . you have n't said anything about how that 's affected you . that must have been a terrible sense of betrayal , being left by patrick , someone you trusted , someone you loved . '' ryan 's hand had moved to her arm , his fingers sliding over her skin , quickly brushing against the side of her breast . she turned sharply , but ryan had picked up his drink , looking at her over the edge of his glass . you 're far too jumpy ... and more than a little tipsy here . she shrugged , pushing her drink away , the cherry in tattered pieces . i 'm beating myself up over my mistake rather than let myself think about patrick . she was n't thinking clearly-again-and the last time she 'd been like this , something terrible had happened . but this is ryan . you know ryan . `` melody ... '' ryan 's voice was suddenly very close , his breath moving the hair on the nape of her neck . she turned toward him and found him right there , his gaze locked with hers . before she could speak , their lips were pressed together and she was kissing ryan . with a gasp , she broke away . she turned away , feeling a heated blush on her cheeks . when she turned back to ryan , he was looking at her with an intensity that startled her , but that was quickly replaced by a look of genuine concern . `` melody ... you 're confused right now . i think ... maybe we 'd better call it a night . before you lose control '' `` ryan , really . i do n't know ... this is n't like me . '' maybe it is ; maybe you throw yourself at any handsome man when you 've been drinking since patrick dumped you . `` let me call you a cab , okay ? do n't worry about it ; i 'll see you tomorrow at work . '' the cab ride home was miserable . all she could focus on was the fact she 'd kissed her boss . her head was spinning and by the time she let herself into her apartment , she was in tears . melody set the alarm , crawled into bed and pulled the covers over her head . but sleep was elusive and the longer she lay in bed , tossing and turning , the more muddled the evening became . had she kissed ryan or had he kissed her ?

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i know it was weighing on his mind , he did n't have to say . i see his face relax , and he lifts his eyebrow . `` you 're such a light weight . '' i love you , just as simple as that . i stare at him , wide eyed . it 's like time has frozen all around me . jake gets up , his eyes never leaving mine , and walks over to me . he kneels on the floor at my feet and takes hold of my hands . `` i love you , '' he repeats . `` i 've only ever loved one girl , tru - and that 's you . i loved you from the moment i knew how to love . '' my eyes fill with tears again , them quickly spilling over , down my cheeks . jake takes my face in his hands , caressing my tears away with his thumbs . i stare deep into his eyes . `` i 've always been yours , and i always will be . i love you too ... so much . '' i do n't think i 've ever seen jake look as happy as he does in this moment . i press harder against them , wanting more from him . he hisses , and i quickly pull back . `` shit , sorry , baby , '' i murmur , smoothing my finger over his cut , swollen lip . `` you 're worth the pain . '' `` you hit him , '' i say , regretfully . `` no one hurts my girl , because you are , tru ... my girl . '' `` i know ... and you 're my guy . '' i trace my finger across his cheek . his eyes close under my touch . `` are you really sure he did n't hurt you ? '' he opens his eyes after a moment , and runs his hand gently over my shoulder . `` come on , '' he says , getting to his feet , pulling me to my own . he leads me through to the bedroom , pulling the duvet back ; he climbs into bed , making space for me . i 'm hesitant . i 've only just broken up with will . somehow it does n't seem right climbing into bed with jake . `` please , '' he says softly , seeing my hesitation . i climb into bed beside him and he wraps his arms around me , holding me to him and pulls the duvet over us . `` i love you so much , '' he murmurs . `` this is it now . i tilt my head back , kissing a place on his neck . `` just you and me , '' i echo . i nestle my head into his neck , breathing him in , feeling suddenly exhausted , as i try to work through the conflicting emotions still raging through me . when i wake i 'm jake 's arms , the sky coming in through the window looks dusky . we 've slept the whole day away . i 'm supposed to be going home . jake too . our flights out of paris are tonight . suddenly the thought of leaving him crushes my chest . then i think of will , and pure sadness engulfs me . tears instantly prick my eyes . i wonder if he got an early flight ? i hope he got home okay . lovely sweet will . i did n't want it to end the way it did . maybe i should call him ? try to explain ? no , what good would that do , and anyway , he hates me . he 's right to . i cheated on him . i broke his trust and his heart . i 've scarred him ; he wo n't trust another woman for a long time to come because of me . and he 's so gentle and caring ; he did n't deserve any of what i 've done to him but i love jake . i know it 's a poor excuse but i could n't help myself . the way i feel about him is indescribable . sometimes so much so that i feel like i 'm gasping for air with the intensity of the feelings i have for him but then , is this the right way for jake and i to start our life together , off the back of a broken relationship ? but i suppose , mine and jake 's relationship started a long time ago . it spans our lifetime . i hurt for will and how i treated him , i always will , but jake is where i want to be . jake stirs in his sleep , his eyes opening slowly . and when he looks at me , all i see in them is complete love for me . his voice is all sleepy and sexy . i look at the bruising on his lip ; the swelling has gone down a little . a reminder of what happened only this morning . i trace my fingertip over it . jake takes hold of my hand kissing my fingertips . then puts his hand on my face , tucking my hair behind my ear . `` i love waking up with you . i want to wake up every morning looking at your face , '' he murmurs . shivers run over my skin . but we have to go home tonight . ''

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leslie moaned . and i bet its delicious here . on my way out ill make a reservation for the two of us . eating later would give them a chance for a romantic walk on the dark beach afterward . ill meet you in the great room a few minutes before . have a nice day , now . he reached for her hand , gave it a squeeze , then trekked through the sand out of her vision . she had a dinner date . a few minutes before seven , she went downstairs and caught sight of him chuckling with marianne near the entrance to the dining room . as she approached , hank stood with his back to her but marianne caught eyes with her over his shoulder . she winked , which caused hank to spin around , and a grin to brighten a dark night covered his face . well , dont you look beautiful ? he reached out , gripped her hands and took in an eyeful . she was pleased shed spent time on her hair and makeup , and chose a white cotton mini skirt paired with a pink tee shirt . this man was so good for her ego . thank you , and you got all cleaned up too . it wasnt just an empty return to his compliment . he really did look like a picture of health and vitality in his khaki shorts , hawaiian shirt and leather sandals . his suntan complemented his white grin . well , dont we make a pair ? he winked at marianne . give us the best seat in the house , please . she led them to a table for two by the window . as they settled in , excitement welled inside leslie . she had a surprise for hank and she wasnt exactly sure how to break it to him without ruining the suspense . this afternoon , after hed left her to her spot on the beach , an idea had popped into her head . maybe it was god-inspired , considering their prayer of the previous evening , but regardless , it was a good idea . shed gone inside , done some internet research and made a phone call , and now she was ready to execute . question for you , hank . i work every day . a bubble of disappointment dampened her high spirits . oh , bummer . any way you can take a day off ? he studied her and smiled . for a good enough reason , i suppose i could be convinced . you work so hard . you deserve to take a day away from work . well , im working on one of those old beach houses over by your old vacation home . then ill start the hinthorns bathroom project . would one day throw you off schedule ? ive planned a surprise for you . his face lit up and her heart jumped along with it . well now , id be hard pressed to turn down an invitation like that . a surprise for me planned by a beautiful lady . yes , id say its time for a day off . you tell me when and where you want me . he looked so happy , it touched her heart with joy for him . meet me here at ten am , and ill drive . casual clothes . with the novelty of a surprise hanging over them , the rest of their evening seemed frosted in anticipation . conversation came easily . the salmon was delicious , of course , as was the caesar salad , green beans soaked in butter and bacon , and the ice cream with blueberries for dessert . by the time they took their after-dinner walk , the sun had set and a beautiful deepness settled over the ocean . comfortable now , hank reached for her hand and tucked it into his . a few minutes down the beach with bare feet , she involuntarily shivered . always in tune to her , he put an arm around her as they strolled . it has gotten sort of brisk out , hasnt it ? he stopped walking and faced her , put his hands on her arms and rubbed up and down . the friction from his hands did result in warmth , but he didnt stop there . after half a minute , he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in to his chest . she closed her eyes , tucked her head in and breathed . the man smelled delicious . her mouth curled into its own smile because of her contentment at being at that place at that moment . she felt safe and appreciated , right where god wanted her to be . when he pulled back , she felt the chill start to creep back in , but she knew all she had to do was ask for another embrace if she wanted it . she beamed at him and he responded with a hand on her cheek . he drew closer , his eyes connected with hers and his lips a breath away . he made a moan in the back of his throat and then his lips covered hers and the warmth was hers again , this time his mouth its enchanting source . she closed her eyes and tipped her head back to receive the fullness of his kiss . she reached for his arms , then his shoulders , pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed against one anothers .

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just then , two stories below , she heard the sound of childish voices raised in an argument , and she knew her mother and the boys were home . sounds like trouble , '' she said , bolting for the stairs . she knew something was wrong just from the looks on their faces when she reached the bottom floor . all three looked angry . her mother was holding the picnic basket , her mouth compressed , and she had the boys separated , with one on each side of her . the twins were red-faced with anger , and their clothes were dirty , as if they 'd been rolling in the dirt . ' '' they 've been fighting , '' sheila reported . `` tannuh called me a bad name ! '' tucker charged , his expression mulish . tanner glared at his brother . `` you pushed me . his outrage was evident . tanner did n't like losing in any situation . cate held up her hand like a traffic cop , stopping both of them in the middle of continued explanation . behind her , mr. harris came down the stairs , carrying his toolbox , and the boys began shifting in agitation ; their hero was here , and they could n't swarm him as they usually did . `` mimi will tell me what happened , '' cate said . `` tanner got the last piece of orange , and tucker wanted it . tanner would n't give it to him , so tucker pushed him down . tanner called tucker a 'damn idgit . ' then they started rolling around and punching each other . '' sheila looked down at both of them , frowning . `` they knocked my lemonade over and it soaked my clothes . '' now that she looked , cate could see the dark , wet patches on sheila 's jeans . she crossed her arms and looked as stern as possible as she did her own frowning . `` tucker - `` she began . he burst out , clearly furious at being singled out first . `` you pushed tanner first , did n't you ? '' if anything , he now looked even more mutinous . his little face turned red , and he was all but jumping up and down . `` it was - it was mimi 's fault ! '' cate echoed , thunderstruck . her mother looked just as stunned by this turn of events . `` she shoulda watched me better ! '' `` tucker nightingale ! '' cate roared , galvanized by his blame-shifting . `` you get upstairs and sit in the naughty chair right now ! how dare you try to blame this on mimi ! i 'm ashamed of the way you 're acting . a good man never , never blames someone else for something he did himself ! '' he shot a pleading look for understanding and backup at mr. harris . cate wheeled and gave the handyman a gimlet stare , just in case he was thinking of saying anything in the least sympathetic . mr. harris blinked , then looked at tucker and slowly shook his head . `` she 's right , '' he mumbled . tucker 's little shoulders slumped and he began dragging himself up the stairs , each step as ponderous as a four-year-old could possibly make it . he began crying on the way up . at the top he paused and sobbed , `` how long ? '' cate said . she would n't leave him up there any longer than half an hour , but that would seem like forever to someone with tucker 's energy . besides , tanner would have to spend some time in the naughty chair , too , for calling his brother a `` damn idgit . '' okay , this meant they both knew the word damn , and how to use it . her children were swearing already . she tucked her chin and scowled at tanner . he sighed and sat down on the bottom stair , waiting his turn in the naughty chair . nothing more had to be said . `` i 'll pick up a new lock tomorrow while i 'm in town , '' he said , and beat a path to the door . cate drew a deep breath and turned to her mother , who now seemed to be sucking really hard on her checks . `` are you sure you want to take them for a visit ? '' cate asked wearily . because of the time change , goss and toxtel arrived in boise early in the evening . goss figured the plane tickets had cost a fortune , purchased at the last minute as they were , but that was n't his problem . rather than make the rest of the trip that night , which would have meant they 'd have been driving the last leg on unfamiliar mountain roads when they were both tired , they booked into a hotel close to the airport . in the morning they would procure weapons , then take a prop plane to an airstrip about fifty miles from their destination . the plane was a private hire , so they 'd have no problems taking the weapons aboard . faulkner had arranged for some model of four-wheel-drive vehicle to be waiting for them at the airstrip .

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jim had enlisted the help of an italian journeyman who had failed in his bid to qualify for the tournament and now seemed content to take his frustration out on lewis by dragging him around the court with his relentless ground strokes . for most of the session lewis had been under instruction to keep the rallies going . get used to the heat . get used to staying in the points . that was jims justification for the torture . get used to gonzaless game , thats what was really going on as far as lewis was concerned . but he was already used to his game - he was well conditioned to losing to it . he needed to work out how to beat it , not just put up a good show . but he could understand jims reasoning : hang on in the points and bide your time . lewis had rushed too much in the past , going for winners and missing too many , rather than endure the endless shot making that was the trademark of alberto gonzaless game . but the heat ! so tempting to just strike out and end the draining rally one way or another . jim was sitting at courtside , shouting out a mixture of encouragement and criticism with a singularity of tone that made it difficult to distinguish between the two . but the edginess of the previous few weeks had gone from his voice . as the start of the tournament grew closer , jim was feeling more confident about lewiss prospects . the walkabouts , as jim referred to lewiss earlier lapses in concentration , seemed to have been eradicated . he had thought that the call from mary would have set things back , but instead lewis seemed to have focused even more , and he was enjoying the preparation process . jim was pleased to see the lad smiling again - it had been a while since he could remember lewis looking so happy , even though it was interspersed with the odd period of melancholy . he just hoped that lewis was still smiling come monday night . it was the first round match that was jims one big concern for the opening week of the tournament . he had come round to lewiss way of thinking - that there was no major threat from the players he was likely to face in the early rounds - certainly given the way he was playing and the attitude he had adopted . but the crowd ! that could still be an issue . there was a history which jim was all too aware of one that he was still annoyed with himself about for not foreseeing and preparing lewis in advance . with the lesson learned , he had no intention of leaving anything to chance this time around . jim checked his watch thinking about the meeting he had arranged for the afternoon . another hour , he thought , and then well see what can be done about the crowd . at present , jim was more concerned with lewiss performance on court , and how it would square up against his likely opponent in the quarter-finals , assuming that his man got that far . he could see that the backhand needed more work . lewis didnt look too comfortable with the high balls on that side , and jim knew it was a weakness that gonzales was more than capable of exploiting with the heavy topspin he normally employed . mario , i want more over to his backhand , plenty of top on it , shouted jim . lewis , i want you to start attacking now , but no reckless stuff mind . stay with him , but take your chance to attack when it comes . theres no point defending all the time against gonzales , hell wear you down , and you know it . keep the points short if you can , better to lose it early , than lose it after a long rally , because if its a long rally , then youre not going to come out on top too often . short and sweet , lewis ; dont let him get any rhythm . get him rattled . aye , like i got him rattled the last three times we played , i know , said lewis with a sarcastic grin , which quickly turned into a smile before he continued with the practice . but lewis had a point . jim knew that they needed to come up with something different to try . he thought about the other meeting which was arranged for later in the afternoon . perhaps there he would find the answer to the second week of the tournament . there is a way , lewis , he whispered , as the session came to a close . we just need to look in the right place . i hope i can find it for you . jim was still pondering his strategy thirty minutes later when lewis returned from the locker room freshly showered after his practice session . you take the car , lewis , announced the coach throwing the keys at him . ill get a taxi back . ive got a couple of people to see this afternoon . mike will do some stretching work with you when you get back . nothing else mind - just relax . sure , jim ! the lad replied , pocketing his catch . but im going to take a stroll around first , if thats okay . i want to get the feel of the place again .

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you do n't look that old . '' `` werewolves do n't age the same as mortals . our kind can live up to three thousand years old . '' `` three thousand years old , '' billie repeated softly . `` how old are you , royce ? '' at first billie did n't think he was going to answer her when he did n't say anything right away . `` i 'm a little over fifteen hundred years old . '' billie took a few deep breaths as the room started to spin . i 'm not going to faint again , i 'm not going to faint again . she repeated that inside her head like a mantra until the room righted itself once more . she had no idea why now of all times she was turning into such a ninny . she was tough , and prided herself on it . stuff like this should n't be sending her into an old fashioned case of the vapors . she was made of sterner stuff than that . all i can say to that is , holy shit , you 're too old for me . '' `` that is what i said to beowulf when he told me exactly how old he was , '' roxie said with a laugh . `` beowulf is close in age to royce . '' she looked down at her hands , which were clasped tightly together in her lap . `` so i 'm mated to a fifteen hundred year old werewolf . i 'm only twenty-five , but you 'll still outlive me by at least another thousand years . unless i agree to let roxie try the spell on me . '' she looked back up at royce . royce reached out to take one of her hands in his . when she did n't unclasp her hands , he pulled away . `` even if you do let roxie try the spell , billie , there is still no guarantee it will work . your being a mortal does n't change how i feel about you . my first mate was a mortal as well . '' billie felt an emotion that could only be described as jealousy wash over her at hearing royce say he already had a mate in his life before her . it was an emotion she did n't normally feel . of course royce had to have had another woman who meant something to him , one he had to have had a child with . you could n't have grandchildren without having a child first . obviously this other woman was no longer in his life . at least billie hoped she was n't . `` what happened to your first mate ? '' a look of pain flashed across royce 's face . `` alicia was different . she could do things no one else in her village could do . she had magic of her own . because of that , the rest of the villagers shunned her , forcing her to live on her own outside of the village . a village boy watched me go wolf one day outside her hut . when the villagers heard his story , they rose up against alicia . they accused her of witchcraft , dragged her out of her hut and then burned her . alicia was able to save our daughter by hiding her inside the hut when she heard the villagers approaching . i later found nina . i was too late to save her mother , but i was able to save her . i stepped down as pack leader and left to raise my daughter where she would be safe . and i 've watched over all her decedents since then . '' billie kicked herself for being jealous of a woman who had died hundreds of years before she had even been born . that royce had loved alicia was apparent . the look of pain that had quickly passed over his face said it all . it also made billie wonder if she had a chance of filling the empty place in royce 's heart that had been created when alicia had died . she could n't help feeling she would n't be able to . now that she knew the story about royce 's first mate , billie understood why he had resisted her in the beginning . he did n't want another mate to take alicia 's place . only with the mating urge riding him , and unable to resist it , had he claimed her as his own . suddenly feeling the need that to get away , to try and sort this all out without royce sitting next to her , billie stood up . i need to think this through before we go any further . it 's an awful lot to just dump in my lap . '' royce stood up beside her with a look of concern on his face . i just ca n't be here right now , with you . '' not wanting to give royce a chance to try and change her mind about leaving , billie turned around and quickly walked out of the house . she drove around the city for what felt like hours . whenever she got the urge to turn back around and go to royce , billie ruthlessly pushed it away .

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`` i would never have brought it up if i 'd known ... well , actually i would have . do you mind if we talk frankly ? '' alix pushed the glass aside and nodded . `` i 've come to love you , alix . i remember you as a child , attending sunday school classes . you were always a sweet little girl , so eager to please and learn . when my husband started the bus ministry , we were so happy that both you and your brother were part of it . '' it was difficult to hold back a snicker . `` my parents were willing to send us anywhere as long as we were away from the house for a couple of hours on sunday morning . '' she stared right into susan 's eyes . `` you know , so they could sleep off their hangover . '' susan ignored that . `` i remember how hard you tried to fit in with the other girls , '' she went on . alix remembered , too . she had n't owned any clothes other than what she wore to school . there were no pretty dresses for her at easter or christmas . she felt fortunate if she got a piece of clothing that did n't come out of a secondhand store . `` i really stuck out , did n't i ? '' she recalled how badly she 'd wanted to win the bible that was a prize for the kid who could recite the most verses from memory . she 'd been willing to memorize a hundred of them . she 'd won it , too , although she 'd lost that bible somewhere along the way . her bible and just about everything it stood for . `` well , you were n't typical of the children in sunday school , '' susan confirmed . `` i still stick out , do n't i ? '' alix asked , getting to the essence of the conversation . `` that 's what you want to say , right ? '' alix tried to make this as straightforward as possible . `` speaking plainly , you do n't think i 'll be a good wife for jordan . '' `` no , no , that 's not it at all , '' susan rushed to explain . `` it 's just the church where you do n't fit in . '' `` that sounds so unkind and i do n't mean it to , alix , i really do n't . i 'm thinking of jordan a few years down the road when he 's a senior pastor . '' `` in other words , you 're afraid i 'll be hindrance to him . '' `` being a pastor 's wife takes a special kind of woman . '' alix took a moment to consider that . `` you 're saying i need to be more like you . '' `` it is n't easy working in a church , that 's what i 'm trying to say . people have no idea they 're being so critical . the congregation will judge jordan when they look at you . '' alix had n't thought of it in those terms . susan glanced over her shoulder at her husband and son . `` larry does n't know we 're having this conversation , '' she said in a low voice . `` does jordan ? '' if he did , alix swore she 'd get up and walk out right this minute . `` i wanted this to be woman to woman . '' jordan 's mother did n't need to say it ; alix already knew . she knew because she 'd heard that one-sided conversation at the donovans ' . `` last month , a few days before i called off the big wedding , '' alix said , staring down at her lemonade , `` i was over at jacqueline 's . the two of you were talking on the phone and jacqueline did n't realize i was in the house . i was n't intentionally eavesdropping and should 've left , but i heard my name mentioned . i got the gist of the conversation in about two seconds . you 'd rather i did n't marry jordan . '' a flush of embarrassment rose to the other woman 's cheeks . `` no , that 's not it at all ! oh , dear , i 'm making a mess of this . '' `` then explain it to me , '' alix said , struggling not to sound defensive or angry . `` it 's just that ... '' susan paused . `` i 'll admit i 've had some concerns and , '' she added quickly , `` it 's occurred to me that my son 's ready to marry a woman with connections to a hit man . '' `` i know a few whores , too , '' alix said as if this were all a joke . `` actually , they were pretty decent people . i 'll bet that surprises you . '' susan blinked a couple of times . `` did jordan ever tell you about when i was living on the street ? or how often i ran away from foster homes ? '' `` alix , i 'm sorry , '' susan whispered .

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`` but if there 's a room available upstairs , that sounds wonderful . '' sarah beamed at her . `` i have to fly back next wednesday . '' `` that 's hardly enough time to unpack . '' `` but at least she 's here , which is totally awesome . '' morgan 's happy gaze met tyler 's . `` i had to see the new mommy-to-be . '' and her sister 's enthusiasm made the effort so worthwhile . alex 's presence was a small complication she 'd work through . `` tyler about gave me a heart attack , '' morgan said . `` i did n't know she was coming until she called me from the l.a. airport and said she was on her way . '' `` i was n't sure i could get off until the last minute , and i had to sign in blood that i 'd be back on wednesday . '' morgan regarded her sister with obvious pride . `` that 's because tyler 's the activities director for a world cruise that sails from l.a. a week from today . if she gets a good evaluation at the end of it , she 's been promised a promotion to cruise director , which means she 'll be the head honcho next time out . sarah gazed at tyler with obvious respect . `` good for you , tyler , '' mary lou added . if i get this promotion , i 'll be the youngest cruise director in the history of the company . '' tyler found herself basking in sarah 's and mary lou 's approval . her parents , who claimed to care nothing for status or worldly goods , had n't been particularly impressed by her rapid rise in the business . she had n't thought she cared whether they were impressed or not , but maybe she did . alex lifted his unopened beer bottle . `` can i get drinks for anyone ? we should toast tyler 's success . '' `` well , i do n't have the promotion yet . '' but maybe it was good that the subject was on the table , so that alex knew that she was still fully immersed in her career and excited about the next big step . maybe he was over his ex and had hooked up with somebody from around here . all her worries about resisting him might be for nothing if he was otherwise occupied . `` i 'd love a beer , '' mary lou said . `` move aside , alex , and i 'll see that we all get something cold to drink and happy-hour munchies . sarah , i know you 'll join me in a friday-afternoon beer . tyler , what will you have ? '' `` the same , thanks . '' maybe a cold beer would settle her nerves . she 'd expected she might see alex while she was here , considering that he was josie 's brother and part of the extended chance family . but she had n't planned on running into him first thing out of the gate and immediately having to deal with her emotional reaction . `` root beer for me , please , '' morgan said . `` i know , honey , '' mary lou said . she opened the refrigerator and began passing out bottles . sarah quietly removed the box from the table and tucked it out of sight before swinging into hostess mode . `` everybody have a seat . i 'll get us some chips and dip . the rest of the gang will probably show up pretty soon , and if i know my boys , they 'll be ready to toast the beginning of the weekend with a cold one . '' tyler chose a seat at the opposite side of the table from where alex stood . she could n't help sneaking glances at him , and every time she did , he was looking back . not the usual behavior of a man who had a girlfriend . he could still be unattached , and if so , she 'd have to be very careful . as if her memories of his lovemaking were n't enough to make her heart race , he 'd turned into every woman 's fantasy-a broad-shouldered , lean-hipped , yummy cowboy . she wondered if he 'd bought himself a stetson . in no time mary lou and sarah had the impromptu party organized with drinks all around . bowls of chips and several kinds of dip sat on the table along with a stack of napkins . sarah took a chair and raised her beer bottle . `` here 's to your world cruise , tyler , and the important promotion i 'm sure will follow . '' tyler began to understand why morgan loved being a part of this stable , loving family . morgan , tyler and their six siblings had lived a vagabond lifestyle , traveling the country in a psychedelic van with their new age parents . they 'd spent a few months in shoshone back when morgan and tyler were teenagers .

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a note like the one he 'd received from the killer warning him away from her would have both scared and confused him . tara could n't blame him for the decisions he 'd made then . `` cherry , if i 'd had my way , we would have stayed together , gone to prom as a couple , graduated hand-in-hand . '' `` built a life together . '' a part of her really wanted to believe that , but after everything that had happened , she could n't imagine that alternate universe . `` why did n't you ever try to tell me all this after your mom 's case cooled down ? '' `` after you changed your cell , i only had your stepfather 's home number . '' and she 'd always made adam answer the phone and tell him off . `` you could have come to see me . '' remember a couple of christmases ago ? you slammed the door in my face . '' and now she regretted it like hell . `` we 'll never know the paths our lives would have taken if things had been different . i may be training to be a submissive . i may even have submissive tendencies . i do n't know that i could live this life . '' `` you could , baby , under the right circumstances . it does n't have to be in a club , if you do n't like that setting . i 'd vow to be the most loving dom ever . '' `` is n't that kind of an oxymoron ? what , you 'd boss me around in a tender way ? '' say the word , cherry , and i 'll show you exactly what i mean . '' his words , along with his body heat settling under her skin , made her tremble . `` i just lost a fiance today , and there 's been too much water under the bridge . maybe ... your hang-up is n't about me in particular . is there another incident- '' `` i know what happened . i know what 's in my heart , '' he growled each word fiercely , fisting the cheap bedspread beneath her . those words sounded so romantic , and the female in her really , really wanted to believe them . but they almost did n't compute . yes , she 'd pined for logan , but him for her ? her next confession was going to open her up wide , but he 'd been so painfully honest , how could she be anything less ? `` i saw a therapist shortly after college . i went to him for a good two years . he suggested that my hang-up about you stemmed from the fact that our break was really sudden . he suggested that i simply needed closure . maybe that 's what you need , too . maybe we just needed to talk it all out and know the score- '' `` no . i know what i need , what i 've always needed . '' logan wriggled his h*ps between the slight spread of her thighs , forcing them wider , until his c*ck settled right against her p**sy . `` cherry , i need you . '' then he rocked against her , igniting her body with sensation to match all the emotions swirling inside her . god , it would be so easy to give in . between her tears and her loathing , she 'd fantasized more than once about what it would be like for logan to make love to her again . never in her wildest fantasies had she imagined that she 'd actually have this opportunity again . `` logan , really , maybe you 're mistaking some old emotion or the need for closure for actual love . someday , you will fall in love with the right person and- '' `` you think i 've never been in love ? baby , i never fell out of love with you . '' tara 's heart lurched in her chest . and something that felt way too much like joy raced through her veins like a heady drug . she had to take a deep breath and stop herself . everything on his face underscored his honesty-at least as he believed it . but how could he know for certain ? if what he said was true , he 'd never really been in another relationship , so it was possible he 'd fixated on her because she was the last girl he 'd tried to love . there was too much behind them , and even if she put the bdsm thing aside , their lives were going in opposite directions . she might have a mountain of feelings for logan , but being with him so soon after getting out of a relationship with brad ... frying pan , meet fire . but she was n't immune to his pain . if he was stuck here , then perhaps she could help him out . maybe it would be good for both of them to get the closure they 'd never had . `` kiss me , logan . '' when his entire body tensed , she added , `` please . '' `` if i start , cherry , i wo n't be able to stop . '' he caressed a gentle hand down her hair , over her shoulder , brushing the side of her breast to settle at her waist .

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we were at that place againthat place that until recently had been out of bounds , but since that night with elizabeth in my roomjason hearing me say itme saying itthe boundary was not so clear . i whispered up to him . jason said , followed by a passionate kiss . his mom had paid , so we headed straight for the door . `` happy a birthaday , '' joe said as we passed the counter . `` oh , i have a the photograph if you would not mind signing it for a me , please ? '' jason let go to sign the photo . i escaped out the front door . the crisp night air helped me regain my composure . jason stepped out a few minutes later . `` guess you 're headed out on patrol again ? '' i rested my head against his chest and slowly nodded . `` i 'm sorry i did n't get you anything for your birthday . '' i said to the sidewalk . `` i have you , what else could i possibly want ? '' `` well there 's thatit 's just hardi love you so muchwant you so much . '' `` i know , i want you too . '' `` but it ca n't benot now , not '' jason eased me back . `` lets just get through the next few weeks , okay , no pressure . '' you know how i feel , and you know i 'm all ini started thatbut there are a lot of people depending on us , both my kind and yours . we owe it to them , all of them , to do our very best to assure everyone is safe , and achieve our highest expectations . '' `` i love you jason whitaker . '' `` ride home with me ? '' chapter 12 the following week went by event free . not having a football game made the week drag , but by friday , everyone was starting to get excited about our last gamenot only a chance for an undefeated season , but also homecoming . since it was the weekend of halloween , the senior class had voted on a full out , classic ball theme and the morning announcements encouraged everyone to come in appropriate costumes . jason insisted that we go this year and although last year 's private dance was all i really wanted , i 'd agreed . to say he was thrilled was an understatement . we came up with the idea of me wearing one of my family 's southern belle dresses , but jason was very evasive about what he was going to wear . during the week , i discovered elizabeth on the phone several times with jason 's mom . we 'd done two fittings , but elizabeth insisted i be blind folded both times . i was n't worried though , i could tell it was one of her dresses . she was obviously just trying to spruce it up a little for the dance and i guess a surprise for me . thursday after class , the senior and junior classes decorated the gymcathy and i helped , but we 'd been working on some of the decorations with mrs. snyder in art class all week . there were ribbons , bows , streamers and twinkle lights everywhere . finally , the school maintenance guys came in with one of those portable bucket lifts and the piecewell pieceswe 'd been working on in class . it was like a giant jigsaw puzzle made out of gold , foiled foamcore . mrs. snyder directed the assembly and then they raised the eight foot tall chandelier and connected it 's chain to one of the overhead beams , centering the chandelier over the dance floor . mrs. snyder had wired in flicker lights that were battery powered and controlled from a remote . the janitors cut the harsh overhead lights and then she hit the button on the remote . the chandelier lit the room in a soft , romantic , golden glow . from the expression on mrs. snyder 's face , maybe a little too perfect . * * * saturday 's home coming game was a blow out . the warrior 's were back in top form , hitting on all cylinders as some of the dads called it . despite the significance of an undefeated season , a lot of the girls left at halftime to start getting ready for the dancethere were manicure'spedicures'hairmakeup and of course pictures . i was n't too worried , my skin was flawlessone of the perks of my kindi did n't need to worry about paint since the dance was at nightand i was used to doing my eye makeup . when the game ended , i walked down to the fence to meet jason . `` hey , '' lisa said as she approached . `` about tonight , the homecoming queen , i just want you to know , however it goes , i 'm not after jason . '' are you wearing a costume ? '' `` i 'm going as cinderellado n't you think it 'll be perfect ? i already know what you 're wearing . '' `` well , good luck , got ta run . '' `` see you there , good luck . '' `` what 's who up to ? ''

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junie : its getting dark and we are waiting again . there isnt much to see yet . so far the base has been large hangars for aircraft and small easy-up buildings that probably came in a box from ikea . im not alone waiting for a ride to the orphanage . i have become acquainted with the other peace corps cohorts , tess and star . tess is very nice , a young grandmotherly type , sweet and soft-spoken . if i had ever met either one of my grandmothers , tess would be what i pictured . someone able to do it all . bake kick-ass cookies and then go in the back yard to throw a ball with you , and then take you to the mall to get you new cute jeans with tiny rhinestones for when school starts . i never had any of that and it bites , but i can imagine what it would be like . shed be full of wisdom about life and love . a storyteller able to bridge the gap between generations to send her point home in a way you would never forget and maybe pass on to your own children . the crinkling of a candy wrapper forces my attention to starwait no , not a candy wrapper , shes eating some weird granola thing ive never seen before . star is a little more difficult to swallow . the word that comes to mind when i look at her is snippy . she may be carrying a chip on that bony shoulder , geez eat a friggin hamburger . would you like some , junie ? she asks in a hoity-toity voice that i think may be reserved only for me . her demeanor is way different when speaking to tess . no , thank you , i respond sourly sweet . after that long line of people boarding the turkey-shaped plane , there are only three of us with the peace corps . the other people on the plane are contractors here to do jobs for the government . and the soldiers , well , are soldiers . i shift on my luggage and ponder the past two days and determine they feel like four . i am in desperate need of a hot shower . the refueling was no picnic either . wait and wait and wait some more . at least they let us stretch and disembark the plane . i bought some bizarre lemon lime soda at the terminal , which was one attendant with a vending machine . the soda had a soapy aftertaste , yuck , i dumped most of it in the trash . i changed from shorts into my comfy yoga pants that make my ass look awesome . now , i am sitting on my luggage observing the mechanics in flight suits that are milling about fixing and maintaining helicopters and all different kinds of planes , some i have never seen before . during the hours we have been sitting here the workers become fewer and farther between . lights are being turned off and the area is becoming quiet and more deserted by the second . so how long have you been at kunar ? i ask tess , diverting my thoughts from the eerie foreign country horror movie that i am making up in my head . she has been telling star and me that she went home for a few weeks for a break and is on her way back . six months , she shares . it has been a wonderful experience working with the children . challenging , but wonderful . i am looking forward to getting back . as she is talking , i have to give her credit . it must not be easy for an older woman to do this . my initial impression of her settles in to a correct assumption , but then reality sets in and i think , what do i have to offer these kids ? most of them are happy to see us , but the others ... i must have tuned out as i watch more spotlights turn off and the darkness slinks in . wait , others ? i wouldnt be askin , tess . i didnt want to sound flippant but it totally came out that way . the taliban , she whispers . they dont want anyone here , tess . they want the children . boys especially . they want to take them to train . have you been living under a rock , junie ? star chimes in . the taliban trains kids from like seven years old . they give kids guns ? no , star adds sarcastically . that is life here . the revelation is alarming because apparently in my grief and wallowing over the loss of my last and only living parent , i hadnt been paying attention to the media as i thought i had . but my current circumstance is fueling the nervous bubble erupting in my stomach as the last large dome-shaped building for housing the planes and helicopters shuts its lights off . are they going to just leave us here ? where is our ride ? i ask aloud , anxiety-ridden that were going to be sleeping out here on the tarmac . star is worried too . we both look to tess , the seasoned peace corps-er . tyler will be here , tess comments matter-of-factly and adds a knowing smile .

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he kissed , she acknowledged again , in the same way he did everything else in his life-with an intensity and lazy self-assurance that was hard to resist . sawyer 's hands came up to either side of her face , anchoring her , his fingers threading into her hair . he caressed her mouth with his in slow , leisurely strokes . `` your mouth drives me crazy , '' he muttered , and then stroked the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip . `` it 's these lush , pouty lips . '' you make me sound like a stripper or a p**n star . '' `` do n't ever disguise them with lipstick . '' she sucked in a breath , but before she could say anything , sawyer was off the bed and pulling her with him again . she asked on a laughing gasp . she 'd never seen sawyer let go like this . it was so not in character . okay , who was she kidding ? it was thrilling , and she could n't help responding to it . `` there are five more bedrooms , '' sawyer said as he strode across the hall , leading her by the hand . inside his bedroom , he swung her to face him . tamara got a general impression of a four-poster king-size bed , more gleaming dark wood and a distinctly masculine feel . then her gaze landed on sawyer again . `` oh , no , '' she said breathlessly , shaking her head at the look in his eyes . purposely , he advanced on her , and she backed up until the bedpost stopped her retreat . why had she never noticed sawyer 's raw masculinity until recently ? even in a conservative business suit , his tie in place , he looked impossibly sexy . the rakish look in his eyes made her weak-kneed . a sizzling warmth suffused her . her br**sts tightened , and a heavy ache pooled between her legs . maybe before she had n't wanted to see sawyer as he was . maybe this was the real reason she 'd kept him at a distance . she itched to caress the firm line of his jaw and the strong column of his neck . she curled her fingers into the palm of her hand to stop herself from doing so . sawyer gave her a sexy smile . she tried , thinking one of them had to hold on to sanity . `` is n't the question , what are you doing ? '' the inches between them crackled with electricity . sawyer 's smile widened . `` perhaps i 've realized that i 'd enjoy having you as my wife in every way . '' `` thanks very much ! '' `` i know you and what's-his-name were n't intimate . '' her mouth dropped open , and then snapped shut . `` tom , his name is tom . and i 'm not discussing this with you . '' sawyer 's smile turned lazy and knowing . `` that long , then ? '' he touched her , smoothing the backs of his fingers down the side of her breast in a gentle caress , and tamara sucked in a breath . he slid his hand up her arm , bringing her into his embrace . `` your eyes tell a different story , goldilocks . '' she said , cursing the catch in her voice . sawyer searched her face , arousal stamped on his . `` your eyes are already cloudy with desire . '' she tried to look bored , even as the press of his arousal sent a fresh wave of awareness shooting through her . sawyer chuckled before his expression turned seductive and intent again . `` what 's the matter , goldilocks ? '' he muttered , his head bending toward hers . `` are you finding that this bed is just right ? '' and then his mouth met hers again . he tasted of wine from their meal , and the scent of some expensive and finely-milled english sandalwood soap clung to his skin . the combination was strangely intoxicating . and she yielded to it , her hands running up his arms until she clung to him , her arms around his neck . damningly , she did n't think about whether this was right . she 'd passed the point of reflection and gone on to someplace more elemental . sawyer pressed her against the bedpost , his muscled thigh wedging between her legs . he toyed with her lips , and she moaned with each nip and suck and gentle graze . `` that 's right , '' he approved gutturally . `` let me know how you feel . '' his mouth wandered away from hers , tracing along her jaw , and her head fell to one side , exposing her neck for their mutual pleasure . while he kissed the column of her neck , his hands roamed and molded , running down her sides , from the curve of her br**sts to the jut of her hips . in response , her fingers curled into his shoulders with pleasure . when sawyer 's mouth came back to hers , he slid his hand up under the hem of her dress . her head fell back , and she moaned again as his hand brushed aside her panties .

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3053], ["chuckled", 3053], ["expression", 3075], ["seductive", 3092], ["intent", 3103], ["matter", 3133], ["mattering", 3133], ["bend", 3182], ["bent", 3182], ["bending", 3182], ["toward", 3189], ["find", 3215], ["finding", 3215], ["right", 3243], ["rightest", 3243], ["meet", 3271], ["meeted", 3271], ["met", 3271], ["taste", 3294], ["tasted", 3294], ["wine", 3302], ["meal", 3318], ["scent", 3334], ["scentest", 3334], ["expensive", 3352], ["finely", 3363], ["mill", 3370], ["milling", 3370], ["milled", 3370], ["english", 3378], ["englishest", 3378], ["sandalwood", 3389], ["soap", 3394], ["soaps", 3394], ["clung", 3400], ["cling", 3400], ["skin", 3412], ["combination", 3430], ["strangely", 3444], ["intoxicate", 3457], ["intoxicates", 3457], ["intoxicating", 3457], ["yield", 3475], ["yieldest", 3475], ["yielded", 3475], ["run", 3501], ["running", 3501], ["arm", 3513], ["arms", 3513], ["around", 3554], ["damningly", 3575], ["think", 3595], ["thinkest", 3595], ["whether", 3609], ["pass", 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["shoulder", 4295], ["shouldered", 4295], ["shoulders", 4295], ["back", 4342], ["hem", 4386], ["dress", 4399], ["dressest", 4399], ["brush", 4463], ["brushest", 4463], ["brushed", 4463], ["aside", 4469], ["pantie", 4481], ["panties", 4481]]

he had plenty to say , and he 'd write it out in fine form , just as soon as he chased olivia from his thoughts . it 'd been almost a month since he 'd canceled her birthday dinner . these had to be the longest thirty days of his life . the fact that eric was living with him had complicated everything . his routine , his hard-won peace of mind , his productivity had been shattered all to hell . this was what jack got for dwelling on life 's regrets . he wanted to be a good father to eric ; he longed to make up for the lost years , and here was the opportunity . unfortunately , the timing could n't have been worse . naturally eric would decide he needed a father at the same time jack was falling in love and wanted to spend every spare moment with olivia lockhart . the first week eric was with him , jack had spent hour after hour listening to his son 's woes . it seemed eric had at least fifteen years of hurt and doubt that he needed to release . patiently jack had listened and when he could , he offered comfort and advice . when jack eventually did have a chance , he 'd phoned olivia , dying to see her , dying to take a break from his son 's troubles . he 'd hoped that an hour or two with olivia would rejuvenate his spirits . instead he 'd hit rock bottom when she was n't home . he waited around all night for her to return his call . she did n't until the next morning , and by then he 'd left to cover the christmas bazaar for the newspaper 's neighbors section . they finally did connect , early the following week , and jack noticed that her feelings for him appeared to be cooling . it was n't anything she said , exactly . her son-in-law was back from alaska , and she was working with charlotte on putting together a wedding reception for seth and justine . every time he 'd talked to olivia since then , she was busy . too busy to see him . even their tuesday night get-togethers had fallen by the wayside . just how much trouble could a wedding reception really be ? it seemed olivia constantly needed to run somewhere or talk to someone . someone other than jack . the hustle and bustle of this wedding reception aside , what worried jack was her changing attitude toward him . yes , there was a decided cooling . whenever they managed to chat , jack braced himself , half expecting her to suggest they break it off . it was this expectation-the feeling that she was looking for a kind way to tell him to take a hike-that prevented him from giving her the bracelet . he was afraid she 'd view the expensive gift as a means of manipulating her and so he 'd held on to it , not knowing what else to do . the cursor on his screen continued to blink , and jack wheeled his chair around , gazing out the window . he needed an aa meeting and a talk with his sponsor . he found a meeting near bangor , but because he was in unfamiliar territory , he sat at the back of the room and listened to the speaker , who had over twenty years of sobriety . at the end of the session , when the group stood , joined hands and said the lord 's prayer followed by the serenity prayer , jack 's voice rose and blended with the others . these people were family . they might be strangers but they all shared a problem that bonded them . on the drive back to the office , jack stopped at thyme and tide , the bed-and-breakfast on the waterfront owned by his sponsor and friend , bob beldon , and his wife , peggy . bob was busy tinkering in the garage with one of his woodworking projects when jack pulled into the driveway . bob came out of the garage to meet him . jack asked , not quite ready to launch into his reason for visiting . bob smiled knowingly . `` i figure if you 're coming by to see me in the middle of the day , something 's up . jack sighed , grateful he did n't need to lead into the subject delicately . peggy 's visiting her sister , but i 'm sure there 's still coffee in the pot . '' jack was grateful . he was feeling unsettled , and even after ten years without a drink , the urge still came , especially at times like this . the meetings helped , but talking to bob would give him a sense of perspective . it 'd been a long while since the cravings had hit this hard . `` how are things with eric ? '' bob asked , heading into the kitchen . he paused on the back porch and removed his sweater , which he hung on a hook there . then he led the way into the large , spacious room . despite its size , the kitchen was warm and inviting , with its oak table , its woven rug on the polished floor and bunches of drying herbs by the window . `` eric 's still with me .

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1475], ["section", 1483], ["sectioning", 1483], ["finally", 1498], ["connect", 1510], ["connectest", 1510], ["early", 1518], ["follow", 1532], ["following", 1532], ["notice", 1556], ["noticed", 1556], ["feeling", 1574], ["feelings", 1574], ["appear", 1591], ["appeared", 1591], ["cool", 1605], ["cooling", 1605], ["anything", 1627], ["say", 1636], ["sayest", 1636], ["said", 1636], ["exactly", 1646], ["law", 1663], ["back", 1672], ["alaska", 1684], ["work", 1706], ["wrought", 1706], ["working", 1706], ["charlotte", 1721], ["put", 1732], ["putting", 1732], ["together", 1741], ["wedding", 1751], ["reception", 1761], ["seth", 1770], ["justine", 1782], ["talk", 1808], ["talked", 1808], ["busy", 1844], ["busied", 1844], ["even", 1873], ["evens", 1873], ["tuesday", 1887], ["get", 1897], ["together", 1907], ["fall", 1918], ["falls", 1918], ["fallen", 1918], ["wayside", 1933], ["much", 1949], ["trouble", 1957], ["troubling", 1957], ["really", 1990], ["constantly", 2023], ["run", 2037], 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2642], ["screen", 2656], ["screening", 2656], ["continue", 2666], ["continued", 2666], ["blink", 2675], ["blinked", 2675], ["wheel", 2694], ["wheeled", 2694], ["chair", 2704], ["chairing", 2704], ["gaze", 2720], ["gazes", 2720], ["gazing", 2720], ["window", 2735], ["windows", 2735], ["aa", 2753], ["meeting", 2761], ["sponsor", 2789], ["sponsoring", 2789], ["find", 2800], ["found", 2800], ["near", 2815], ["bangor", 2822], ["unfamiliar", 2857], ["territory", 2867], ["sat", 2876], ["sit", 2876], ["room", 2900], ["roomed", 2900], ["speaker", 2928], ["twenty", 2950], ["sobriety", 2968], ["end", 2981], ["ends", 2981], ["endest", 2981], ["session", 2996], ["group", 3013], ["stood", 3019], ["stand", 3019], ["standest", 3019], ["join", 3028], ["joinest", 3028], ["joined", 3028], ["hand", 3034], ["hands", 3034], ["lord", 3052], ["prayer", 3062], ["follow", 3071], ["followed", 3071], ["serenity", 3087], ["voice", 3110], ["rise", 3115], ["risen", 3115], ["rose", 3115], ["blend", 3127], ["blending", 3127], ["blendest", 3127], ["blended", 3127], ["people", 3158], ["family", 3170], ["may", 3183], ["mays", 3183], ["mayest", 3183], ["might", 3183], ["stranger", 3196], ["strangers", 3196], ["share", 3216], ["shared", 3216], ["problem", 3226], ["bond", 3238], ["bonded", 3238], ["drive", 3258], ["office", 3277], ["stop", 3292], ["stopped", 3292], ["thyme", 3301], ["tide", 3310], ["tides", 3310], ["tiding", 3310], ["bed", 3320], ["breakfast", 3334], ["waterfront", 3352], ["friend", 3384], ["bob", 3390], ["bobs", 3390], ["wife", 3412], ["peggy", 3420], ["tinker", 3445], ["tinkers", 3445], ["tinkering", 3445], ["garage", 3459], ["project", 3496], ["projectest", 3496], ["projects", 3496], ["pull", 3513], ["pulled", 3513], ["driveway", 3531], ["come", 3542], ["came", 3542], ["meet", 3568], ["meeted", 3568], ["ask", 3585], ["asked", 3585], ["quite", 3597], ["ready", 3603], ["launch", 3613], ["reason", 3629], ["reasonest", 3629], ["visit", 3642], ["visiting", 3642], ["smile", 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["pause", 4285], ["paused", 4285], ["porch", 4303], ["remove", 4315], ["removed", 4315], ["sweater", 4327], ["hung", 4343], ["hang", 4343], ["hangs", 4343], ["hook", 4353], ["lead", 4373], ["leaded", 4373], ["led", 4373], ["large", 4396], ["spacious", 4407], ["despite", 4422], ["size", 4431], ["warm", 4454], ["oak", 4482], ["table", 4488], ["tabled", 4488], ["tabling", 4488], ["wovens", 4500], ["rug", 4504], ["floor", 4526], ["bunche", 4538], ["bunches", 4538], ["herb", 4554], ["herbs", 4554]]

his kiss was a whisper at first , as if he was testing me to see if id fight him . when i didnt , he gently nibbled my lips and probed my tongue with his . my stomach swirled and somewhere inside my head , a tiny voice reprimanded me . my body felt as if it had been plugged into an electrical outlet . i returned his kiss fervently . nothing about this felt wrong . from a distance , people talked , someone slurped a drink , coins jingled , and a love song played in the background . i wound my arms around nicks neck , and he buried his hands in my hair , unraveling it from its ponytail . suddenly , he pulled away , still gazing at me . his arms were still around my waist . i didnt mean to ... its ... its okay . i bit my lip , relishing the remains of our coffee kiss . his arms dropped to his sides , and he pushed his hands into his pockets , as if to restrain them . i never do things like that . you are so ... beautiful . words were lodged in my throat . i wanted to say that i didnt regret what happened . that hed made me feel alive again , if just for a moment . though the kiss invigorated me , the shame of kissing a total stranger washed over me . i felt like a teenager who couldnt keep her emotions in check . it was just that hed caught me from more than falling to the floor . hed also caught me from crashing down into depression , as i usually did on this day every year . he lifted his suit jacket from the back of a chair and shrugged it on . he strode out of the caf , leaving me standing there with one hand clutching the edge of the table for balance . the gears in my head clicked forward again and i remembered oasis , breakfast , the residents . the clock above the jukebox confirmed that i had been away for at least an hour . i grabbed my belongings and hurried past the banana peel that had caused my fall , and past sally , who stood at the cash register , mouth open . she had obviously witnessed what had just happened between nick and me . why did she look so shocked ? things like this happened all the time . maybe not to me , but to a lot of other people . when it came to dating and relationships , i had always been the type to take things slow . chris and i had gone on three dates before i allowed him to kiss me on the lips . in fact , he was the only man id been with , in every way . but although id found him extremely attractive the first time wed met in the parking lot of shop n carry , the attraction hadnt been a bolt of lightning . he hadnt made me feel the way nick just had . chapter three as i helped with breakfast , i couldnt stop thinking about nick and the most amazing kiss id ever had , hands down . nick had awakened feelings inside of me i thought would remain dormant forever . not that i hadnt met men interested in me . i did , especially at joes steaks , where i waitressed in the evenings for spending money , since i volunteered for free at oasis . i just never showed interest in any of them . i was responsible for the death of the man id intended on spending the rest of my life with . did i deserve to find love with another ? meeting nick was starting to make me question the decision i made to distance myself from happiness . i smeared bread slices with peanut butter and handed them to lynnette , who smeared them with jam and served the hungry people lined up in front of us . when all the residents had been served , lynnette left to retrieve their bags , which were kept in lockers behind the front desk , and to wish each of them a nice day . as if she were sending her children off to school . in a way , they were her children . her infertility had been the reason her husband had left her ten years ago . instead of pining after what she couldnt have , she used the money shed inherited from her father and opened the shelter , to which she dedicated her life . during my time at oasis , i learned homelessness had many faces . some of the people we served werent what youd expect ; they had jobs , some of which even required wearing a suit and sitting behind a desk . the problem was , their wages were minimal and they couldnt afford a place to stay or were saving up for one . lynnette allowed each resident to stay for six months , to sort out their lives , before moving on to make space for someone else . oasis offered food and a bed , but also advice . therapists , career advisors , and even doctors volunteered at the shelter several times a week . those who received career advice were required , on a weekly basis , to inform the advisors of their progress toward changing their lives . i helped melisa serve the leftover coffee . then we collected the pails filled with dirty mugs and carried them to the kitchen for washing . melisa left to clean the tables in the cafeteria , and i stayed behind to load the dishwasher .

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`` it 's so wonderful to see you again . '' she puts her arm out for me , and i step out of my dad 's embrace and into hers . she kisses my cheek and whispers , `` thank you . '' i give her an understanding smile as she releases me . then she takes hold of jake 's hand , and they start to walk into the crematorium together . i follow behind with my mum and dad . then jake stops , pausing , he turns and waits for me , holding his free hand out for me to take . i slip my hand into his , and we all go into the service together . after the funeral we all have an early dinner together at our hotel - jake , me , susie , my mum and dad , stuart and dave . jake seems a little more relaxed at dinner . he 's currently talking guitars with my dad , and he looks happier than i 've seen him in days . the funeral was difficult and over quickly , thankfully . paul had no one . no family left except for jake . no real friends . no one who really cared about him . i know i should feel sad at the thought , but i do n't . i hate him for what he did to jake . and i never thought i would be happy that someone was dead , but i am , because now , maybe jake can finally let him go for good . let his past go once and for all . there was no wake after the funeral , and this dinner most certainly is n't one . this dinner is for jake to help lift his spirits . i 've also got a little something planned for later which i 'm hoping will put a smile back on his face , one that i hope will stay there for a long time to come . not long after dinner is finished , susie , tired from her flight , tells us she 's going to retire early , which works perfectly for my plans for jake . my mum and dad decide to go home too , and stuart goes for a drink in the hotel bar with dave . `` you want to join stuart and dave for a drink ? or just have an early night ? '' jake asks , threading his fingers with mine , pulling me to his side as we walk back through the lobby , after seeing my mum and dad out of the hotel . we 're doing something else tonight , '' i say . stopping , i turn to face him . his hands go to my hips , his head tilting to the side , assessing my face . `` ahum , '' i nod , smiling . `` that , my gorgeous boyfriend , is a surprise . '' i take hold of his hand , leaving him wondering , and lead him to the lifts to take us to the car park , and to the waiting car which contains everything i need for tonight . as it 's my surprise , and jake has no idea where we 're going , i 'm driving ... and tonight i 'm driving james bonds car . aston martin 's are jake 's favourite car , hence the hire for our stay . and i 'm so totally flooring it on the motorway . i honestly did n't know it was possible to feel sexy driving a car . but i do right now . i feel like i 'm a model in an advert or something . and i keep wanting to let out little squeals of excitement , but of course i wo n't , because that would be weird , and also a little inappropriate considering jake just buried his dad a few hours ago , or cremated him or whatever . `` so you wo n't tell me where we 're going ? '' jake asks , as i push the car up to eighty-five . i do n't get to drive very often , and i have never driven a car as amazing as this one , so i 'm totally making the most of it . `` nope , it 's a surprise . '' `` i thought you did n't like surprises ? '' keeping my eyes on the dark road ahead , i say , `` i do n't like receiving them . i never said anything about giving them . '' there 's only so long i can keep it a surprise before he guesses where it is we 're going , as he keeps looking at the bloody road signs . i should have had the foresight to bring a blind fold with me . jake , in a blindfold , totally at my mercy . hmm , i 'm liking the sound of that . as i see the sign post signalling my turn to the place we 're going , i slide a glance at him , seeing the look on his face , and he looks happy . he turns to me , smiling widely . `` you 're taking me to lumb falls ? '' i give him another quick glance , a little smile of my own forming . jake reaches his hand over and puts it on my thigh . `` are you going to let me do dirty things to you while we 're there ? ''

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chloe 's twenty-seven , charlotte 's twenty-three , and the twins-caroline and cass-are eighteen . '' he picked up another sandwich and wasted no time in sinking his teeth into it . `` so then they must be just about ready to enjoy a busy season-the twins i mean . '' `` they were certainly looking forward to it when i left london . in fact , i must admit i was quite relieved to be given this assignment . '' he sent her a wayward smile . `` it gave me the excuse i needed to escape . '' `` surely it ca n't be that bad . '' `` you 've no idea , '' he shuddered . `` i remember charlotte 's coming-out ball as if it were only yesterday . before the season had even begun , the house was overrun by dressmakers , cobblers , and milliners . the parlor was transformed into a fitting room . it was impossible to find the furniture for all the fabric that was forever lying about . and then , once the season did begin , the house was suddenly infested by hoards of eager young men vying for charlotte 's hand in marriage . not a surface remained without a bouquet of flowers upon it-a myriad of scents all clamoring for attention . '' `` it does n't sound like much fun at all , '' alexandra said . `` thankfully , it 's not something i had to endure . besides , it never really caught my interest-all the fuss and being put on constant display . my aunt was very pushy about the whole idea for a while , but that was years ago . still , i suppose if you truly are in the market for a wife or a husband , then there 's not much choice but to endure the whole menagerie . '' `` most young ladies enjoy it tremendously , alex . you 're quite the exception , trust me . the trouble is when it comes to cass and caroline ... well , they 're very different from each other , even though they 're twins . they 're not identical , even their personalities are at opposite poles . '' it looked to alexandra as if michael was mulling something over in his head . he suddenly looked at her with great intensity . `` i know caroline will have no trouble-she 's so refined and delicate . i worry about cass though . '' alexandra blurted out before she could stop herself . her hand came up to cover her mouth just as her eyes grew big with shock at her own words . `` i beg your pardon , i did n't mean to be so rude . '' michael grinned and shook his head . `` there 's nothing wrong with her as such , alex , but the girl ca n't even go for a walk in the park without getting grass stains on her dress or mud on her slippers . her hairpins are forever falling out . she 's a terrible mess and no matter how hard we all try , we just do n't seem to be able to do anything about it . '' alexandra bit back a smile . `` and you 're worried she 'll not attract as many gentlemen as caroline , and that she 'll be crushed . he nodded with obvious relief . he 'd known she 'd understand . after all , she and cassandra were quite similar in some ways . `` i do n't think you ought to overly concern yourself . i have a feeling your sister cass has spirit , and if i 'm not terribly wrong , then any man worth having is more interested in a spirited wife than a demure one . '' she lifted her big blue eyes to stare directly at him from behind her thick , dark lashes . `` is n't that correct , michael ? '' there was so much meaning in that one question that michael felt sure he could write a whole book on it . was she really asking him point blank if , given the choice , he would pick her over a more dispassionate woman ? in fact , he already had , but she did n't know that yet . she thought he was marrying her for the sake of honor . `` yes , you are absolutely right . '' she sank back against her pillows with a small sigh of what he assumed to be relief . `` i 'm glad to hear it , '' she muttered . `` in fact , i 'm quite certain cass will find a husband who will make her very happy . '' `` you 're probably right , '' michael agreed as he cleared his throat . the tension eased a bit and he suddenly remembered why he 'd been later today than all the other days . reaching inside his jacket pocket , he pulled out a small velvet box . he placed the box in alexandra 's hand . she stared down at it for a long moment as if unsure of what to do with it . `` go ahead , '' michael urged her . `` oh , michael , '' she whispered after flipping back the lid . oh , it 's too much . he shrugged as he reached for the box . `` i 'll just have to return it then . ''

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1422], ["ago", 1426], ["still", 1434], ["suppose", 1446], ["truly", 1459], ["market", 1477], ["wife", 1488], ["husband", 1501], ["husbanding", 1501], ["choice", 1533], ["menagerie", 1567], ["lady", 1593], ["ladies", 1593], ["tremendously", 1615], ["alex", 1622], ["exception", 1652], ["trust", 1660], ["trouble", 1677], ["troubling", 1677], ["come", 1694], ["comes", 1694], ["well", 1724], ["wells", 1724], ["different", 1750], ["though", 1780], ["identical", 1820], ["personality", 1847], ["personalities", 1847], ["opposite", 1863], ["pole", 1869], ["poles", 1869], ["look", 1884], ["looked", 1884], ["michael", 1911], ["mull", 1923], ["head", 1950], ["great", 1989], ["intensity", 1999], ["know", 2011], ["knowest", 2011], ["delicate", 2072], ["worry", 2082], ["worried", 2082], ["blurt", 2123], ["blurted", 2123], ["stop", 2149], ["come", 2173], ["came", 2173], ["cover", 2185], ["mouth", 2195], ["mouthed", 2195], ["eye", 2212], ["eyed", 2212], ["eyes", 2212], ["grow", 2217], ["growest", 2217], 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he blinked with the innocence of a young boy , clueless to her annoyance , which was in stark contrast to his confident , manly presence . he stood almost a foot taller than danicas impressive five foot seven stature . his chest muscles bulged beneath his way-too-small shirt , dark curls poking through the neckline . he probably bought it that way on purpose . she glanced down and tried not to notice his muscular thighs straining against his stonewashed denim jeans . danica swallowed hard . all the air suddenly left her lungs . he was touching her shoulder , squinting , evaluating her face . i was just making sure it didnt look broken , which it doesnt . im sure its painful . she couldnt think past the heat of his hand , the breadth of it engulfing her shoulder . its okay , she managed , hating herself for being lost in his touch when he was clearly someone who ate women for breakfast . she had three minutes to get her coffee and get back to her office before her next client showed up . shed love this guy . the line progressed , and adonis waved as he left the caf . danica reached into her purse to pay for her french vanilla coffee and found herself taking a last glance at him as he passed the front window . the young barista pushed danicas money away . no need , hon . blake paid for yours . she smiled , lifting her eyebrows . the barista leaned over the cash register . even if he is a player . danica thrust her shoulders back , feeling smart for resisting temptation . chapter two danica sat across from belinda trenton , desperately trying to focus on her clients latest issue instead of the pain she felt every time she sniffled or blinked . it hurt , but her nose hadnt blossomed into a swollen mess , so she was pretty sure it wasnt broken . belinda chewed gum like a cow chews its cud . her eyeliner was reminiscent of madonnas style from the eighties . her dark hair was long and thick , pinned up in the very front with a petite barrette , leaving sexy tendrils hanging past her silver-rimmed glasses . she looked like a vixen librarian . the tops of her breasts plumped out of the low-cut t-shirt she wore , and her black skinny jeans looked more like a second skin than a layer of clothing . she bounced her stiletto heels as she spoke . blake would love you , danica thought , before quickly chiding herself for being snarky . i wasnt going to sleep with him . i really wasnt , belinda said , continuing her rationale for her previous evenings romp . im not here to judge you , belinda . its okay if you did want to sleep with him . but i thought you were trying to restrain yourself . trying a new tactic . same conversation , different day . belinda was no more in charge of her hormones than the sky had the power to withhold rain . danicas thoughts turned to blakes shoulders , and she wondered what it might feel like to touch them . oh god , whats happening to me ? if even she couldnt keep her thoughts focusedand she was the least sexual person she knewhow could she expect her sexed-up clients to ? meet them , chat , and dont take them home , right ? belinda looked at her for affirmation . she mulled over what belinda had done . what was so bad about it , really ? she was attracted to a man and went home with him . ever since that morning , all danica could think about was what would have happened if shed let blake buy her coffee . for the first time in her life , danica was wondering about that moment of impact , that instant attraction that so many could not denyher sister included . she wondered why kaylie had that level of desire and why she didnt . shed always thought that she was the less troubled one . now , after experiencing heart-pounding excitement at the sight of blake , she began to wonder if something was wrong with her after all . why hadnt she ever felt this way before ? well , i tried that , but he just kept offering . he said he had this great , new cd he wanted me to hearand i like music . rationalizing . danica nodded . some people would call belinda a sex addict . even danica had lost track of the number of men that had shared belindas bed in the past year . but danica didnt like that termsex addict . she felt it was a cop out . being promiscuous was something that seemed to drive belinda from one moment to the next , and danica knew that when belinda discovered more about herself and gained more confidence , the need for meaningless sex would wane . she didnt mean to , but she knew she was giving belinda the disapproving parental look that she herself despised . strangely , she felt the look was meant more for herself than belinda . how many times had her father given her that same look for doing something whimsical instead of academic , while praising kaylie for her song and dance routines ?

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i thought we got past that im not dragging anything out . and i wasnt talking to bryn like that . i tried taking a step back and letting them deal with their issues themselves , but tyler lightly squeezed my elbow . you dont need to put up with his anger issues , he whispered , giving me a sympathetic smile . both of you just need to stop , i scolded them . tylers right . you cant just treat me however you please , cale . im not going to put up with it . i love you , but i can only take so much . right now , yeah you are acting like an ass and ill tell you that straight from my heart . then i turned to tyler . dont instigate anything , please . i dont think anyone wants a bus full of tension since we still have a ways to go . cale still had a scowl on his face , while i was fuming mad and wanted to call him out on his anger . the way his eyes met mine was exactly the way it happened the night kallie and cale kissed onstage . when i kissed tyler . he placed a hand up to his chest and said , scouts honor , bryn . then he chuckled and walked away without even sparing cale any chance to talk . cale put his hands on my shoulders and tried to get me to come closer . im seriously sorry . i pulled him into me , my hands wrapping around his neck so i could get a good view of his amber eyes . just let me in , i said softly . just tell me why you have those mood swings . maybe i could help you somehow . you just have to let me in . i wish i could tell you , bryn . he inhaled a sharp breath . but this is something big that i have to deal with on my own . i dont know what else i can do besides try . but just have faith in me , okay ? i wasnt sure what was going on inside his mind , but i wanted to dig deeper and see if maybe any of the other guys knew what cales deal was . i promise , i whispered , meaning what i said . *** we arrived at the venue in new orleans and i could still feel the tension between cale and tyler as we got the equipment off loaded and inside . have you seen tyler without a shirt ? bethany asked as we hung out in the dressing room . holy mother of hell he is gorgeous . i asked with a grin , trying to avoid the whole tyler topic in general . yes , i had to admit he did look good without a shirt . he had just the right amount of muscle to make a girl weak in the knees . i like him , silly . hes the sweetest guy ive ever met , and plus he plays a musical instrument . to me thats a complete turn on . but im just saying you couldve dated him as opposed to his younger cousin for all that time bethany said , bringing up ethans . i hadnt thought about him nor wanted to in a long time . last time i saw him was during our final show in detroit and we agreed to be friends , but nothing more ever came from it . bethany , lets just drop it , please . i didnt want to talk about either donahue . i love cale . tyler has just become a close friend . gina licked her lips . a close friend who seemed like he was willing to get beat up for you . i heard him and cale going at it and he seemed pretty defensive of you . thats what friends do , i replied . cale apologized so i dont even know why were still talking about this in the first place . bethany was the first to stand up . youre right , bestie . were going to have another fun night , and you are going to kill it on stage like you always do . we all embraced in a group hug and just as we let go the guys walked in with alcohol . okay.are you trying to fall off the stage or something ? i asked them jokingly as they set everything down on a makeshift table . what are you even talking about , bryn ? vince said , pouring a cup of liquid and chugging it down . its called liquid courage ! youve seen us do this before , hell youve drank with us before . let her be , tyler stopped vince . she and her friends dont have to drink with us . i was only messing with her . youre almost as protective of b as pelton is . vince grinned , patting tylers shoulder . cale strode towards me , hands on either side of my waist . dont worry i havent drank yet , he murmured into my ear , his breath lingering on my skin . im waiting until afterwards . uh huh , mr . i kissed the dimple in the spot where his lips rose into a smile . i love you , but im not partaking in any drunken festivities , especially with you . ill stick with water . cale shook his head in disagreement .

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i did n't want to hurt her more than necessary . look at what the woman had done-and what she was going to do for me . i do n't think rome realized his ex still loved him . in his realm of male understanding ( aka limited ) , he likely figured lexis did n't care who he was with . `` one day i 'll be able to join you in there-and not just in my mind . '' his breath fanned my cheek , then my ear , and he added softly , `` i 've been thinking about this , and i think the shower is the perfect place for us . if things get too hot , the water will cool us off . '' or turn us to steam , as hot as i was for him . `` one day , '' i replied just as softly . god , i hoped that day came soon . his nostrils flared , and his eyes gleamed with heat . he looked , in short , like a man who was battling a savage need to claim me . i 've been worried about you , and if you do n't get in there i 'm going to take you here and now . '' oh , i loved it when he went all alpha on me . i lumbered from the bed . my knees were wobbly as i hobbled into the bathroom . for my own sake , i locked the door . i showered , lingering in the hot , steamy water and letting it clean me inside and out . i felt stronger with every second that passed . the damp , misty air soothed my throat and swept the soot from my lungs . a part of me worried about pretty boy vincent finding us and bursting in on me , catching me with my pants down . i 'd been surprise-attacked too many times in the last couple of days . still , the other part of me simply luxuriated in this totally normal act . the cabin was a safe haven , and one i desperately needed at the moment . when the water became too cold to bear , i exited and dressed in the black shirt and jeans lexis had packed for me-which someone had laid across the toilet . someone who had picked the door lock and entered the bathroom without my knowledge . whoever the lock picker was ( cough , cough- rome ! ) had n't brought me panties or a bra . i was unwilling to wear the dirty ones-if i had them , that is , which i did n't . the aforementioned someone had taken them with him . so , as this someone had obviously planned , i dressed without them . lecherous man . rome was a true male , even in the face of danger . when i emerged , a cloud of steam followed me . rome , tanner and lexis were at the table , eating breakfast . seemed weird , since the last meal i recalled was the breakfast in lexis 's apartment . i guess that 's what happens when you sleep an entire day away . i strode to them , meaning to claim the empty chair next to rome , but he tugged me onto his lap and plopped a buttered biscuit in front of me , all without pausing in his speech . `` -forces are divided while they search for both belle and dr. roberts . now is the perfect time to strike . '' sitting in his lap aroused me . my nipples instantly pearled ; my stomach quivered in anticipation of a touch . maybe i was a slut and a harlot ( a slot ? ) . or maybe , just maybe , rome emitted lethal pheromones no woman could resist . `` i 'm not saying i disagree with you , '' lexis said , slathering her own biscuit with strawberry jelly , `` but you have to consider the fact that we 're divided , too . i 'll be with belle 's father , while the three of you evade capture from vincent . and john , if he 's looking for you . '' `` john might be looking for us ? '' i smeared honey on my biscuit and then proceeded to inhale it . `` i thought rome took care of him . '' `` he has to know you 're helping belle now , '' lexis said to rome . he plucked the last nibble from my fingers and popped it into his mouth . `` for all he knows , she escaped me and i 'm still hunting her down . '' lexis snorted . `` no one intelligent will believe she escaped you . '' for your information , '' i told her indignantly , `` i did escape him . '' `` and i helped , '' tanner added . his chest puffed up like a peacock . `` i know you did , honey , and i 'm proud of you . '' lexis patted his back . `` truth is stranger than fiction , i suppose , but no one will believe belle defeated rome . ''

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["catching", 1395], ["pant", 1412], ["pants", 1412], ["surprise", 1438], ["surprised", 1438], ["attack", 1447], ["attacked", 1447], ["many", 1456], ["time", 1462], ["times", 1462], ["last", 1474], ["couple", 1481], ["day", 1489], ["days", 1489], ["simply", 1527], ["luxuriate", 1538], ["luxuriating", 1538], ["totally", 1554], ["normal", 1561], ["act", 1565], ["acted", 1565], ["cabin", 1577], ["safe", 1588], ["safes", 1588], ["safed", 1588], ["desperately", 1618], ["need", 1625], ["needest", 1625], ["needed", 1625], ["moment", 1639], ["become", 1663], ["became", 1663], ["cold", 1672], ["bore", 1680], ["bear", 1680], ["bearest", 1680], ["exit", 1691], ["exited", 1691], ["dress", 1703], ["dressest", 1703], ["dressed", 1703], ["black", 1716], ["shirt", 1722], ["jean", 1732], ["jeans", 1732], ["pack", 1749], ["packed", 1749], ["lay", 1779], ["lays", 1779], ["layed", 1779], ["layest", 1779], ["laid", 1779], ["across", 1786], ["toilet", 1797], ["toiletest", 1797], ["pick", 1822], ["picked", 1822], ["lock", 1836], ["enter", 1848], ["entered", 1848], ["without", 1869], ["knowledge", 1882], ["whoever", 1892], ["cough", 1920], ["bring", 1954], ["brought", 1954], ["pantie", 1965], ["panties", 1965], ["bra", 1974], ["bras", 1974], ["unwilling", 1992], ["wear", 2000], ["dirty", 2010], ["take", 2096], ["taken", 2096], ["obviously", 2147], ["plan", 2155], ["planned", 2155], ["lecherous", 2192], ["true", 2214], ["even", 2226], ["evens", 2226], ["face", 2238], ["danger", 2248], ["emerge", 2265], ["emerged", 2265], ["cloud", 2275], ["clouded", 2275], ["follow", 2293], ["followed", 2293], ["tanner", 2312], ["table", 2340], ["tabled", 2340], ["tabling", 2340], ["eat", 2349], ["eating", 2349], ["breakfast", 2359], ["seem", 2368], ["seeming", 2368], ["seemed", 2368], ["weird", 2374], ["since", 2382], ["meal", 2396], ["recall", 2407], ["recallest", 2407], ["recalled", 2407], ["apartment", 2447], ["guess", 2457], ["happen", 2478], ["happens", 2478], ["slept", 2493], ["sleep", 2493], ["sleeps", 2493], ["sleepest", 2493], ["entire", 2503], ["away", 2512], ["mean", 2541], ["meanest", 2541], ["empty", 2560], ["chair", 2566], ["chairing", 2566], ["next", 2571], ["tug", 2595], ["tugging", 2595], ["tugged", 2595], ["onto", 2603], ["ontos", 2603], ["lap", 2611], ["laps", 2611], ["lapping", 2611], ["plop", 2623], ["plopped", 2623], ["butter", 2634], ["buttering", 2634], ["buttered", 2634], ["biscuit", 2642], ["front", 2651], ["pause", 2679], ["pausing", 2679], ["speech", 2693], ["divide", 2718], ["divided", 2718], ["search", 2736], ["belle", 2751], ["dr", 2758], ["drs", 2758], ["time", 2793], ["strike", 2803], ["sat", 2816], ["sit", 2816], ["sitting", 2816], ["arouse", 2835], ["aroused", 2835], ["nipple", 2851], ["nipples", 2851], ["instantly", 2861], ["pearl", 2869], ["pearlest", 2869], ["pearled", 2869], ["stomach", 2882], ["stomachs", 2882], ["stomaching", 2882], ["quiver", 2891], ["quiverest", 2891], ["quivered", 2891], ["anticipation", 2907], ["touch", 2918], ["touching", 2918], ["maybe", 2926], ["slut", 2939], ["sluts", 2939], ["harlot", 2952], ["slot", 2961], ["slotting", 2961], ["emit", 3004], ["emitted", 3004], ["lethal", 3011], ["pheromone", 3022], ["pheromones", 3022], ["resist", 3044], ["resistest", 3044], ["say", 3065], ["sayest", 3065], ["saying", 3065], ["disagree", 3076], ["disagrees", 3076], ["disagreeing", 3076], ["say", 3101], ["sayest", 3101], ["said", 3101], ["slather", 3114], ["slathering", 3114], ["strawberry", 3146], ["jelly", 3152], ["jellies", 3152], ["jellied", 3152], ["consider", 3182], ["fact", 3191], ["father", 3249], ["fathered", 3249], ["fathering", 3249], ["three", 3267], ["evade", 3280], ["capture", 3288], ["john", 3312], ["look", 3331], ["looking", 3331], ["may", 3358], ["mays", 3358], ["mayest", 3358], ["might", 3358], ["smear", 3391], ["smearing", 3391], ["smeared", 3391], ["honey", 3397], ["honeys", 3397], ["proceed", 3430], ["proceedest", 3430], ["proceeding", 3430], ["proceeded", 3430], ["inhale", 3440], ["think", 3458], ["thinkest", 3458], ["thought", 3458], ["take", 3468], ["took", 3468], ["know", 3503], ["knowest", 3503], ["help", 3519], ["helpest", 3519], ["helping", 3519], ["pluck", 3566], ["plucked", 3566], ["nibble", 3582], ["nibbling", 3582], ["finger", 3598], ["fingers", 3598], ["pop", 3609], ["popped", 3609], ["mouth", 3627], ["mouthed", 3627], ["know", 3649], ["knowest", 3649], ["knows", 3649], ["escape", 3663], ["escapes", 3663], ["escaped", 3663], ["hunt", 3689], ["hunting", 3689], ["huntest", 3689], ["snort", 3717], ["snortest", 3717], ["snorted", 3717], ["intelligent", 3741], ["believe", 3754], ["information", 3796], ["tell", 3808], ["told", 3808], ["indignantly", 3824], ["escape", 3842], ["escapes", 3842], ["help", 3867], ["helpest", 3867], ["helped", 3867], ["chest", 3897], ["puff", 3904], ["puffs", 3904], ["puffed", 3904], ["peacock", 3922], ["proud", 3967], ["pat", 3992], ["patted", 3992], ["back", 4001], ["truth", 4012], ["strange", 4024], ["fiction", 4037], ["suppose", 4049], ["defeat", 4090], ["defeatest", 4090], ["defeated", 4090]]

`` you can have your shirt back , '' she told him , turning her back to take it off . `` is yours dry ? '' she pulled his shirt off and dropped it on her backpack , and hurriedly began to put her blouse on . she had one arm in a sleeve when he swore violently . she jumped , startled , and looked over her shoulder at him . his face was grim as he strode rapidly over to her . his expression had been bright with laughter only a moment before , but now he looked like a thundercloud . he snapped , catching her elbow and holding her bruised arm out for his inspection . `` why did n't you tell me you 'd hurt yourself ? '' jane tried to grab the blouse and hold it over her bare breasts with her free arm , feeling horribly vulnerable and exposed . she had been trying for a nonchalant manner while changing , but her fragile poise was shattered by his closeness and his utter disregard for her modesty . her cheeks reddened , and in self-defense she looked down at her badly bruised arm . `` stop being so modest , '' he growled irritably when she fumbled with the blouse . `` i told you , i 've already seen you without any clothes . '' that was embarrassingly true , but it did n't help . she stood very still , her face burning , while he gently examined her arm . `` that 's a hell of a bruise , honey . how does your arm feel ? '' `` it hurts , but i can use it , '' she said stiffly . `` in a variety of ways , '' she said , trying to hide her embarrassment behind a bright manner . `` this bruise right here is where you hit me on the arm after sneaking into my bedroom and scaring me half to death . the big , multicolored one is from falling down that bluff yesterday morning . this little interesting welt is where a limb swung back and caught me -- '' `` okay , i get the idea . '' `` i 'm sorry i bruised you , but i did n't know who you were . i 'd say we were more than even on that score , anyway , after that kick you gave me . '' jane 's dark chocolate eyes widened with remorse . `` i did n't mean to , not really . i 'd done it before i thought . i mean , i did n't do any permanent damage , did i ? '' a small , unwilling grin tugged at his lips as he remembered the torment of arousal he 'd been enduring on her account . `` no , everything 's in working order , '' he assured her . his gaze dropped to where she clutched her blouse to her chest , and his clear amber eyes darkened to a color like melted gold . `` could n't you tell that when we were standing in the stream kissing ? '' jane looked down automatically , then jerked her gaze back up in consternation when she realized where she was looking . `` oh , '' she said blankly . grant slowly shook his head , staring at her . she was a constant paradox , an unpredictable blend of innocence and contrariness , of surprising prudery and amazing boldness . in no way was she what he 'd expected . he was beginning to enjoy every moment he spent with her , but acknowledging that made him wary . it was his responsibility to get her out of costa rica , but he would compromise his own effectiveness if he allowed himself to become involved with her . worrying over her could cloud his judgment . but , damn , how much could a man stand ? he wanted her , and the wanting increased with every moment . in some curious way he felt lighter , happier . she certainly kept him on his toes ! he was either laughing at her or contemplating beating her , but he was never bored or impatient in her company . funny , but he could n't remember ever laughing with a woman before . laughter , especially during the past few years , had been in short supply in his life . a chattering monkey caught his attention , and he looked up . the spots of sunlight darting through the shifting layers of trees reminded him that they were losing traveling time . `` get your blouse on , '' he said tersely , swinging away from her to sling his backpack on . he buckled it into place , then swung her pack onto his right shoulder . the rifle was slung over his left shoulder . by that time , jane had jerked her blouse on and buttoned it up . rather than stuffing it in her pants , she tied the tails in a knot at her waist as she had with grant 's shirt . he was already starting off through the jungle . she called to his back , hurrying after him . `` you 'll have to stay with me , '' he said unfeelingly , not slackening his pace . well , did he think she could n't ? jane fumed , panting along in his path . and he could darn well act macho and carry both packs if he wanted ; she was n't going to offer to help !

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["holding", 528], ["bruise", 540], ["bruised", 540], ["inspection", 567], ["tell", 593], ["hurt", 608], ["hurts", 608], ["hurting", 608], ["jane", 627], ["janes", 627], ["try", 633], ["tryed", 633], ["tried", 633], ["grab", 641], ["hold", 661], ["bare", 678], ["breast", 686], ["breasted", 686], ["breasting", 686], ["breasts", 686], ["free", 700], ["feel", 714], ["feeling", 714], ["horribly", 723], ["vulnerable", 734], ["try", 768], ["tryed", 768], ["trying", 768], ["nonchalant", 785], ["manner", 792], ["manners", 792], ["change", 807], ["changing", 807], ["fragile", 825], ["poise", 831], ["shatter", 845], ["shattered", 845], ["closeness", 862], ["utter", 876], ["uttered", 876], ["uttering", 876], ["disregard", 886], ["modesty", 902], ["cheek", 915], ["cheeks", 915], ["redden", 924], ["reddens", 924], ["reddened", 924], ["self", 938], ["defense", 946], ["badly", 975], ["stop", 997], ["modest", 1013], ["growl", 1029], ["growls", 1029], ["growled", 1029], ["irritably", 1039], ["fumble", 1056], ["fumbled", 1056], ["already", 1104], ["see", 1109], ["seen", 1109], ["without", 1121], ["clad", 1133], ["clothe", 1133], ["clothes", 1133], ["embarrassingly", 1162], ["true", 1167], ["help", 1189], ["helpest", 1189], ["stood", 1201], ["stand", 1201], ["standest", 1201], ["still", 1212], ["burn", 1231], ["burns", 1231], ["burning", 1231], ["gently", 1249], ["examine", 1258], ["examined", 1258], ["hell", 1286], ["hells", 1286], ["bruise", 1298], ["honey", 1306], ["honeys", 1306], ["feel", 1331], ["hurt", 1348], ["hurts", 1348], ["hurting", 1348], ["use", 1364], ["say", 1381], ["sayest", 1381], ["said", 1381], ["stiffly", 1389], ["variety", 1407], ["way", 1415], ["ways", 1415], ["hide", 1446], ["hides", 1446], ["embarrassment", 1464], ["behind", 1471], ["right", 1510], ["rightest", 1510], ["hit", 1532], ["sneak", 1561], ["sneakest", 1561], ["sneaking", 1561], ["bedroom", 1577], ["scare", 1589], ["scared", 1589], ["scaring", 1589], ["half", 1597], ["death", 1606], ["big", 1616], ["bigs", 1616], ["multicolored", 1631], ["fall", 1651], ["falls", 1651], ["falling", 1651], ["bluff", 1667], ["bluffs", 1667], ["bluffed", 1667], ["yesterday", 1677], ["yesterdays", 1677], ["morning", 1685], ["little", 1699], ["interesting", 1711], ["welt", 1716], ["limb", 1732], ["limbs", 1732], ["swing", 1738], ["swung", 1738], ["catch", 1754], ["catches", 1754], ["catched", 1754], ["caught", 1754], ["okay", 1771], ["get", 1779], ["idea", 1788], ["sorry", 1807], ["know", 1842], ["knowest", 1842], ["say", 1866], ["sayest", 1866], ["even", 1889], ["evens", 1889], ["score", 1903], ["anyway", 1912], ["kick", 1930], ["give", 1939], ["gave", 1939], ["dark", 1960], ["chocolate", 1970], ["eye", 1975], ["eyed", 1975], ["eyes", 1975], ["widen", 1983], ["widened", 1983], ["remorse", 1996], ["mean", 2016], ["meanest", 2016], ["really", 2032], ["think", 2064], ["thinkest", 2064], ["thought", 2064], ["permanent", 2102], ["damage", 2109], ["damaging", 2109], ["small", 2130], ["unwilling", 2142], ["grin", 2147], ["tug", 2154], ["tugging", 2154], ["tugged", 2154], ["lip", 2166], ["lipped", 2166], ["lips", 2166], ["remember", 2183], ["rememberest", 2183], ["remembered", 2183], ["torment", 2195], ["arousal", 2206], ["endure", 2226], ["enduring", 2226], ["account", 2241], ["everything", 2262], ["work", 2276], ["wrought", 2276], ["working", 2276], ["order", 2282], ["orderest", 2282], ["assure", 2298], ["assured", 2298], ["gaze", 2313], ["gazes", 2313], ["clutch", 2343], ["clutched", 2343], ["chest", 2367], ["clear", 2383], ["clearest", 2383], ["amber", 2389], ["darken", 2403], ["darkened", 2403], ["color", 2414], ["gold", 2431], ["golds", 2431], ["stood", 2482], ["stand", 2482], ["standest", 2482], ["standing", 2482], ["stream", 2496], ["streams", 2496], ["streamed", 2496], ["streaming", 2496], ["automatically", 2540], ["jerk", 2554], ["jerks", 2554], ["jerked", 2554], ["consternation", 2588], ["realize", 2606], ["realized", 2606], ["look", 2628], ["looking", 2628], ["oh", 2636], ["blankly", 2658], ["grant", 2666], ["grantest", 2666], ["slowly", 2673], ["shake", 2679], ["shook", 2679], ["head", 2688], ["stare", 2698], ["stared", 2698], ["staring", 2698], ["constant", 2726], ["paradox", 2734], ["unpredictable", 2753], ["unpredictables", 2753], ["blend", 2759], ["blending", 2759], ["blendest", 2759], ["innocence", 2772], ["contrariness", 2789], ["surprising", 2805], ["prudery", 2813], ["amazing", 2825], ["boldness", 2834], ["way", 2846], ["ways", 2846], ["expect", 2874], ["expected", 2874], ["begin", 2893], ["beginning", 2893], ["enjoy", 2902], ["enjoyed", 2902], ["every", 2908], ["spend", 2924], ["spends", 2924], ["spendest", 2924], ["spent", 2924], ["acknowledge", 2953], ["acknowledging", 2953], ["wary", 2972], ["responsibility", 3000], ["costa", 3024], ["compromise", 3055], ["compromised", 3055], ["effectiveness", 3077], ["allow", 3091], ["allowed", 3091], ["become", 3109], ["worry", 3138], ["worried", 3138], ["worrying", 3138], ["cloud", 3159], ["clouded", 3159], ["judgment", 3172], ["damn", 3185], ["damned", 3185], ["much", 3196], ["man", 3208], ["mans", 3208], ["manned", 3208], ["stood", 3214], ["stand", 3214], ["standest", 3214], ["increase", 3258], ["increased", 3258], ["curious", 3294], ["feel", 3306], ["felt", 3306], ["lit", 3314], ["light", 3314], ["happy", 3324], ["happier", 3324], ["certainly", 3340], ["keep", 3345], ["keepest", 3345], ["kept", 3345], ["toe", 3361], ["toeing", 3361], ["toes", 3361], ["either", 3377], ["laugh", 3386], ["laughing", 3386], ["contemplate", 3410], ["contemplating", 3410], ["beat", 3418], ["beating", 3418], ["never", 3441], ["bore", 3447], ["bored", 3447], ["boring", 3447], ["impatient", 3460], ["company", 3475], ["companys", 3475], ["companying", 3475], ["funny", 3483], ["remember", 3511], ["rememberest", 3511], ["ever", 3516], ["everest", 3516], ["woman", 3538], ["womans", 3538], ["especially", 3569], ["past", 3585], ["year", 3595], ["years", 3595], ["short", 3615], ["supply", 3622], ["life", 3634], ["lifes", 3634], ["chatter", 3649], ["chattering", 3649], ["monkey", 3656], ["monkeyed", 3656], ["monkeying", 3656], ["attention", 3677], ["spot", 3708], ["spots", 3708], ["sunlight", 3720], ["dart", 3728], ["darted", 3728], ["darting", 3728], ["shift", 3749], ["shifting", 3749], ["layer", 3756], ["layered", 3756], ["layers", 3756], ["tree", 3765], ["treed", 3765], ["treeing", 3765], ["trees", 3765], ["remind", 3774], ["reminded", 3774], ["lose", 3800], ["losing", 3800], ["travel", 3810], ["traveling", 3810], ["time", 3815], ["tersely", 3860], ["swinged", 3871], ["swinging", 3871], ["away", 3876], ["sling", 3894], ["slung", 3894], ["buckle", 3923], ["buckled", 3923], ["place", 3937], ["pack", 3959], ["onto", 3964], ["ontos", 3964], ["rifle", 3995], ["sling", 4005], ["slung", 4005], ["left", 4019], ["button", 4088], ["buttoning", 4088], ["buttoned", 4088], ["rather", 4103], ["stuff", 4117], ["stuffing", 4117], ["pant", 4133], ["pants", 4133], ["tie", 4144], ["tying", 4144], ["tieing", 4144], ["tied", 4144], ["tail", 4154], ["tailed", 4154], ["tails", 4154], ["knot", 4164], ["knotted", 4164], ["waist", 4177], ["start", 4234], ["starting", 4234], ["jungle", 4257], ["jungles", 4257], ["call", 4270], ["called", 4270], ["stay", 4329], ["unfeelingly", 4362], ["slacken", 4379], ["slackens", 4379], ["pace", 4388], ["well", 4395], ["wells", 4395], ["think", 4410], ["thinkest", 4410], ["fume", 4437], ["fuming", 4437], ["fumed", 4437], ["pant", 4447], ["panting", 4447], ["along", 4453], ["path", 4465], ["darn", 4485], ["act", 4494], ["acted", 4494], ["macho", 4500], ["carry", 4510], ["pack", 4521], ["packs", 4521], ["go", 4554], ["goest", 4554], ["going", 4554], ["offer", 4563]]

exquisite quills http : //exquisitequills.blogspot.com table of contents the gift of time by rose anderson frankies wish by jennifer garcia a kiss at midnight by lily bishop a night to remember by dee ann palmer marja 's victory by barb caffrey christmas traditions by beverley bateman gingerbread dreams by victoria adams che gelida manina by m. s. spencer romance valley by kaye spencer the christmas eve gift by janis susan may tropical christmas by gemma juliana a kiss and a promise by lyndi lamont a cowboys holiday by e. ayers thank you from the exquisite quills the gift of time by rose anderson the snow was falling hard . rosemary stood at the window , looking down on the busy street below . last-minute holiday shoppers , coats and hats white with snow , shielded their packages from the weather as they trudged from store to store . the truck was twenty minutes late in bringing her armoire . most likely this shift in the weather was the cause . shed paid extra for a christmas eve delivery , but it was worth it . she had nothing else going on and no one to spend the holiday with . shed gotten on well enough these last two years , but she couldnt shake the feeling that once shed had a vibrant life somewhere , with loved ones waiting for her . two years ago tomorrow , she woke in the hospital with a blank page for an identity . the doctors said amnesia , but tests were unable to determine what had caused it . she only knew her name was rosemary , but rosemary who ? after advertisements in the local papers proved fruitless , a name picked randomly from the telephone book became hers she was now rosemary brewer . it didnt quite fit though . sort of like wearing someone elses shoes . the delivery truck rounded the corner . she grabbed her coat and ran down the stairs to meet them . coaxing the large mahogany wardrobe up four flights of curved stairway without damage was no small feat , but the deliverymen did an excellent job getting it into her flat without a scratch . *** anxious to enjoy the christmas present shed given herself , rosemary rushed through a bath , then settled in for the night with a warm flannel nightgown and a cup of hot chocolate . the armoire was built like two pieces of furniture . on the left , a top-to-bottom column of drawers from small to large ; on the right , a cabinet for shoes and dresses . inside the cabinet she found rods and hooks for hanging and space for shoes at the bottom . she could almost see the voluminous gowns and petticoats that once hung inside . her affinity for old things occasionally brought on an overwhelming sense of dj vu one so strong , in fact , that she had purchased this particular piece at first sight . as she stood in front of it now , the feeling of familiarity washed over her once more , causing her to wonder if shed once owned a piece like this before the memory loss . upon opening the small drawers , images of lace gloves , embroidered handkerchiefs , and silk scarves surfaced in her mind . she smiled , accustomed to feeling such detailed impressions from victorian-era antiques . according to the james-higgins estate executor , graham james was a wealthy engineer and inventor during the late 1880s . the old great-grandniece to mr. james was on hand at the sale and very forthcoming with family history . from mrs. higgins , rosemary learned that the armoire was part of a set commissioned by her great uncle and built by linnell and sons of london . she also learned that mr. james wife had disappeared at christmas time . heartbroken , he became somewhat of a recluse after that , never remarrying . rosemary found a small brass key in the top drawer . she turned it over in her hand : decorative keys of this size were often found on a mans watch fob or a womans chatelaine . she eyed the armoire from top to bottom . it didnt have a lock . wondering about the keys match , she put it back in the drawer . she slipped an old worn sock over her hand . pouring lemon oil into her palm , she glided over the ornate carvings until the wood grain was dark and gleaming . stepping back to appreciate her handiwork , she noticed a loosened piece of carved filigree along the top and pressed it back into place . a loud clunk came from inside the wardrobe . empty only a moment ago , the cabinet now hung full with long dresses and skirts ! she closed the door and stared at the wood . opening the door slowly , rosemary looked inside . she rubbed her eyes , dumbfounded . the clothes were gone , but one entire side of the cabinet was taken up by an odd collection of gears and springs , and in the middle , a giant clock face with an off-center keyhole . she tried the small key and gasped when gears suddenly began to turn and the whole armoire whirred . her mind racing , she slammed the door in fright . she put her ear to the wood and listened . the armoire was now ticking like a grandfather clock . curiosity getting the better of her , she cautiously looked inside and saw a strange door at the back of the armoire . she reached for the doorknob with trembling hands . with the armoire up against a solid wall in her flat , she was completely unprepared for what lay beyond the doorway .

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i 'll never forget the way she looked at us , as if we had walked up and stabbed her . i should have gone to her , the way i should have gone to you , but i did n't . she has n't called me grandmother since , '' lucinda said softly . she goes through the motions , but she does n't even care about davencourt . when i told her i was going to change my will to benefit you , if she could get you to come home , she did n't even blink . i wanted her to argue , to get angry , to care , but she does n't . '' the in comprehensibility of it rang in lucinda 's voice , for how could anyone not care about her beloved davencourt ? `` do you remember how she w-like a windup toy that never wound down ? running up down the stairs , banging doors , yelling ... i swear , she had no sense of decorum at all . well , now i 'd give anything to see her skip , just once . she was always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time , and now she hardly talks at all . it 's impossible to tell what she 's thinking . '' he missed `` does she laugh ? '' he asked in a rough to her laughter , the infectious giggle when she was up to some mischief , the belly laughs when he told her jokes , the joyous chuckle as she watched foals romping in the pastures . lucinda 's eyes were sad . she almost never smiles , and she does n't laugh at all . she has n't laughed in ten years . '' roanna glanced at her watch . the county commissioner 's meeting was taking longer than usual , and she would have to leave soon or be late for her lunch in florence . the davenports had no official authority in county matters , but it was almost traditional that a family representative attend the meetings . davenport support , or lack of it , often meant life or death to county projects . when roanna had first begun attending the meetings in lucinda 's stead , she had been largely ignored , or at best treated to a figurative pat on the head . she had merely listened , and reported to lucinda ; to a large degree , that was still what she did . but lucinda , when she had taken action on the matters that interested her , had made a point of saying , `` roanna thinks '' or `` roanna 's impression was , '' and soon the commissioners had realized that they had better pay attention to the solemn young woman who seldom spoke . lucinda had n't lied ; roanna did relay her thoughts and impressions . she had always been observant but so active that she had often missed details , much as a speeder can see a highway sign but pass it too fast to read the message . now roanna was still and silent , and her brown eyes roamed from face to face , absorbing nuances of expression tones , reactions . all of this went straight back to lucinda , who then made her decisions based on roanna 's impressions . now that webb had returned , he would be attending the meetings just as he had used to do . this was likely the last time she would be sitting here , listening and assessing , another place where her usefulness was at an end . in some distant part of her psyche she was aware of hurt , and fear , but she refused to allow them to surface . the meeting was finally dawdling to an end . she checked her watch once again and saw that she had perhaps five minutes before she had to leave or be late . normally she took the time to chat with everyone , but today she had time only for a quick word with the commissioner . he was coming toward her , a short , stocky , balding man with a deeply lined face . the creases rearranged themselves into a smile as he approached her in her usual position close to the back of the room . `` how are you today , roanna ? '' `` fine , thank you , chet , '' roanna replied , thinking that she might as well tell him about webb 's return . well , i could , but my wife tells me no one 's interested in listening . '' he laughed at his own joke , his eyes twinkling . `` and how 's miss lucinda feeling ? '' `` much better , now that webb 's home , '' she said calmly . he gaped at her in astonishment , and for a second , dismay was written plainly on his face . he blurted , `` my god , what are ya 'll going to do ? '' before the rest of her statement sank in and he realized that commiseration was n't appropriate . he turned beet red and started to sputter in his attempt to retrench . `` i-ah , that is- '' roanna lifted her hand to stop his verbal stumbling . `` he 'll be taking up the reins again , of course , '' she said as if webb 's return was the most natural thing in the world .

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that much was true at least ; whatever happened , none of us need face things alone . and i supposed that was after all as much answer as i needed , for now . they were still on the settle when i came back in , red heads close together , haloed by the fire . the smell of gentian ointment mingled with the pungent scent of burning pine and the mouth-watering aroma of the venison stew-quite suddenly , i was hungry . i let the door close quietly behind me , and slid to the heavy bolt . i went to poke the fire and lay a new supper , fetching down a fresh loaf of bread from the shelf , then went to get sweet butter from the crock in the pantry . i stayed a moment there , glancing over the loaded shelves . `` put your trust in god , and pray for guidance . and when in doubt , eat . '' a franciscan monk had once given me that advice , and on the whole , i had found it useful . i picked out a jar of black currant jam , a small round goat cheese , and a bottle of elderflower wine , to go with the meal . jamie was talking quietly when i came back . i finished my preparations , letting the deep lilt of his voice soothe me , as well as brianna . `` i used to think of you , when ye were small , '' jamie was saying to bree , his voice very soft . `` when i lived in the cave ; i would imagine that i held ye in my arms , a wee babe . i would hold ye so , against my heart , and sing to ye there , watching the stars go by overhead . '' `` what would you sing ? '' brianna 's voice was low , too , barely audible above the crackle of the fire . i could see her hand , resting on his shoulder . her index finger touched a long , bright strand of his hair , tentatively stroking its softness . `` old songs . lullabies i could remember , that my mother sang to me , the same that my sister jenny would sing to her bairns . '' she sighed , a long , slow sound . `` sing to me now , please , da . '' he hesitated , but then tilted his head toward hers and began to chant softly , an odd tuneless song in gaelic . jamie was tone-deaf ; the song wavered oddly up and down , bearing no resemblance to music , but the rhythm of the words was a comfort to the ear . i caught most of the words ; a fisher 's song , naming the fish of loch and sea , telling the child what he would bring home to her for food . a hunter 's song , naming birds and beasts of prey , feathers for beauty and furs for warmth , meat to last the winter . it was a father 's song-a soft litany of providence and protection . i moved quietly around the room , taking down the pewter plates and wooden bowls for supper , coming back to cut bread and spread it with butter . `` do you know something , da ? '' bree asked softly . he said , momentarily suspending his song . there was a soft exhalation of laughter and the rustle of cloth as he shifted to make them both more comfortable . shall i stop , then ? '' she snuggled closer , tucking her head into the curve of his shoulder . he resumed his tuneless crooning , only to interrupt himself a few moments later . `` d 'ye ken something yourself , a leannan ? '' her eyes were closed , her lashes casting deep shadows on her cheeks , but i saw her lips curve in a smile . `` what 's that , da ? '' `` ye weigh as much as a full-grown deer . '' `` shall i get off , then ? '' she asked , not moving . `` mi gradhaich a thu , athair , '' she whispered . my love to you , father . he gathered her tightly against him , bent his head and kissed her forehead . the fire struck a knot of pitch and blazed up suddenly behind the settle , limning their faces in gold and black . his features were harsh-cut and bold ; hers , a more delicate echo of his heavy , clean-edged bones . both stubborn , both strong . and both , thank god , mine . brianna fell asleep after supper , worn out from emotion . i was feeling rather limp , myself , but not yet in any mood to sleep . i was at once exhausted and jittery , with that horrible battlefield feeling , of being in the midst of events beyond my ability to control , but which must be dealt with anyway . i did n't want to deal with anything . what i wanted was to push away all thought of both present and future , and go back to the peace of the night before . i wanted to crawl into bed with jamie , and lie warm against him , the two of us sealed safe beneath the quilts against the growing chill of the room .

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when he 'd suggested they all go to town , she 'd heartily agreed , which encouraged him even more . maybe they could pick up the pieces of their lives and go on . during the drive , he watched her closely , seeing her brush tears away a few times . reaching for her hand , he said , `` honey , we can get through this . '' she gave him a little smile and his heart tripped . how he 'd missed her smiles . in town , he guided the buckboard to the front of clyde jenkins general store and told abby to pick out something pretty for herself . he winked at jenny and luke and told them to choose some candy . `` thanks , pa , '' said luke . jenny hugged him . abby gave him another one of her smiles and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless with desire . redirecting his thoughts to the present , he said , `` i 'm taking sugar to the blacksmith 's to check her shoe . '' `` okay , pa , '' said jenny . luke was already in the store . abby said , `` i might walk to the dress shop . i 'd like to ask mrs. dennison about a particular pattern i have in mind . '' how about we meet back here in an hour ? '' * * * with her heart breaking , abby watched brant drive the buckboard across the road to the blacksmith 's . when he entered the building , she entered the mercantile , said hello to the owners , and then told jenny and luke she was going to the dressmaker 's . walking swiftly down the boardwalk , she reached the shop , but passed it and entered the bank two businesses down . purposefully walking to the door marked , bank president , she knocked and opened it without waiting for an invitation . mr. berry looked startled by her intrusion , but invited her to sit . `` i 'm very sorry about your loss , mrs . `` i only have a couple of minutes , mr. berry , so i 'll get right to the point . you are aware , of course , that i have deposited a sizeable sum of money in your bank from the sale of a home i owned in philadelphia . '' `` and you have never told my husband , per my request ? '' `` i understand that you are foreclosing on our home . '' mr. berry looked uncomfortable . `` it 's not up to me , mrs. samson . the board decides who will be foreclosed on and '' `` hogwash . you have influence over the board . my husband 's land is prime property and the bank wants it because of that . however , that 's neither here nor there because i 'm going to pay off the debt in its entirety . i want you to draw up the paperwork immediately , while i wait . '' `` mrs. samson , that 's highly irregular . '' `` i do n't care how irregular it is . i want it done now and i want the deed in my hand before i leave here . if i have it in the next few minutes , there 's a hundred dollar bonus for you . of course it 's a bonus only the two of us will know about . '' mr. berry tapped his fingers on his blotter . `` you know , i think i can fulfill your request , mrs . within fifteen minutes , abby had the deed to brant 's land in hand and a sizeable withdrawal of cash , of which , she handed one hundred dollars to mr. berry . `` this transaction regarding my husband 's property is strictly between us . if you open your mouth to anyone , i will accuse you of accepting a bribe . the bank president coughed , `` perfectly . '' quickly retracing her steps to the dressmaker 's , abby entered and spoke with the proprietress , asking questions about a pattern she already knew the answers to . several minutes later , brant entered the shop . surprised to see him , she thanked mrs. dennison for her information and excused herself . `` i got sugar taken care of so i thought i 'd spend time with you . is there something you want to buy , abby ? '' his sweet gesture , when she knew he had little money to spare , caused her to slip her hand into his . `` no , brant . i just needed to ask some questions . '' when they strolled back to the general store and passed the hotel bulletin board , she paused and acted like she was perusing the notes posted there , when , in actuality , she was checking the departure date and time for the next stagecoach headed to east texas . in two days she intended to be on that coach . during the ride home , abby said , `` you know , brant , i think it would be a good idea for jenny to spend some time with cora 's daughter , tilly .

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["stroll", 3900], ["strollest", 3900], ["strolled", 3900], ["hotel", 3947], ["bulletin", 3956], ["pause", 3975], ["paused", 3975], ["act", 3985], ["acted", 3985], ["peruse", 4007], ["perusing", 4007], ["note", 4017], ["notes", 4017], ["post", 4024], ["posted", 4024], ["actuality", 4052], ["check", 4071], ["checking", 4071], ["departure", 4085], ["date", 4090], ["stagecoach", 4123], ["head", 4130], ["headed", 4130], ["east", 4138], ["texas", 4144], ["day", 4158], ["days", 4158], ["intend", 4171], ["intendest", 4171], ["intended", 4171], ["coach", 4191], ["coached", 4191], ["ride", 4209], ["rode", 4209], ["good", 4277], ["idea", 4282], ["cora", 4321], ["daughter", 4333], ["tilly", 4341]]

`` you will respect it , and follow it obediently , as every other subject of my kingdom . now , you may all leave me . '' his children bowed their heads quickly and hurried from the room . but gareth stopped at the door , unable to bring himself to leave . he turned back , and , alone , faced his father . macgil could see the disappointment in his face . clearly , he had expected to be named heir today . even more : he had wanted it . which did not surprise macgil in the least - and which was the very reason he did not give it to him . `` why do you hate me , father ? '' i just do n't find you fit to rule my kingdom . '' `` because that is precisely the thing you seek . '' gareth 's face turned a dark shade of crimson . clearly , macgil had given him an insight into his truest nature . macgil watched his eyes , saw them burn with a hatred for him that he had never imagined possible . without another word , gareth stormed from the room and slammed the door behind him . in the reverberating echo , macgil shuddered . he recalled his son 's stare and sensed a hatred so deep , deeper than even than those of his enemies . in that moment , he thought of argon , of his pronouncement , of danger being close . could it be as close as this ? thor sprinted across the vast field of the arena , running with all he had . behind him he could hear the footsteps of the king 's guards , close on his tail . they chased him across the hot and dusty landscape , cursing as they went . before him were spread out the members - and new recruits - of the legion , dozens of boys , just like him , but older and stronger . they were training and being tested in various formations , some throwing spears , others hurling javelins , a few practicing their grips on lances . they aimed for distant targets , and rarely missed . these were his competition , and they seemed formidable . among them were dozens of real knights , members of the silver , standing in a broad semi-circle , watching the action . deciding on who would stay and who would be sent home . thor knew he had to prove himself , had to impress these men . within moments the guards would be upon him , and if he had any chance of making an impression , now was the time . his mind raced as he dashed across the courtyard , determined not to be turned away . as thor raced across the field , others began to take notice . some of the recruits stopped what they were doing and turned , and some of the knights did as well . within moments , thor felt all the attention focused on him . they looked bewildered , and he realized they must be wondering who he was , sprinting across their field , three of the king 's guard chasing him . this was not how he had wanted to make an impression . his whole life , when he had dreamed of joining the legion , this was not how he had envisioned it happening . as thor ran , debating what to do , his course of action was made plain for him . one large boy , a recruit , decided to take it upon himself to impress the others by stopping thor . tall , muscle-bound , he was nearly twice thor 's size , and he raised his wooden sword and blocked thor 's way . thor could see he was determined to strike him down , to make a fool of him in front of everyone , and thereby gain himself advantage over the other recruits . this made thor furious . thor had no bone to pick with this boy , and it was not his fight . but he was making it his fight , just to gain advantage with the others . as they got closer , thor could hardly believe this boy 's size : he towered over him , scowled down with locks of thick black hair covering his forehead , and the largest , squarest jaw thor had ever seen . he did not see how he could make a dent against this boy . the boy charged him with his wooden sword , and thor knew that if he did n't act quick , he would be knocked out . thor 's reflexes kicked in . he instinctively took out his sling , reached back , and hurled a rock at the boy 's hand . it found its target , and knocked the sword from his hand , just as the boy was bringing it down . it went flying and the boy , screaming , clutched his hand . thor wasted no time . he charged , taking advantage of the moment , leapt into the air , and kicked the boy , planting his two front feet squarely on the boy 's chest . but the boy was so thick , it was like kicking an oak tree . the boy merely stumbled back a few inches , while thor stopped cold in his tracks and fell at the boy 's feet . this did not bode well , thor thought , as he hit the ground with a thud , his ears ringing .

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["semi", 1972], ["circle", 1979], ["watch", 1990], ["watching", 1990], ["action", 2001], ["decide", 2012], ["deciding", 2012], ["stay", 2030], ["send", 2052], ["sent", 2052], ["home", 2057], ["homing", 2057], ["know", 2069], ["knowest", 2069], ["knew", 2069], ["prof", 2085], ["prove", 2085], ["impress", 2110], ["man", 2120], ["mans", 2120], ["manned", 2120], ["men", 2120], ["within", 2129], ["moment", 2137], ["moments", 2137], ["upon", 2162], ["chance", 2193], ["chanced", 2193], ["chancing", 2193], ["impression", 2217], ["time", 2236], ["mind", 2247], ["minding", 2247], ["race", 2253], ["racing", 2253], ["raced", 2253], ["dash", 2266], ["dashed", 2266], ["courtyard", 2287], ["determine", 2300], ["determined", 2300], ["away", 2322], ["begin", 2370], ["began", 2370], ["take", 2378], ["notice", 2385], ["well", 2486], ["wells", 2486], ["feel", 2515], ["felt", 2515], ["attention", 2533], ["focus", 2541], ["focused", 2541], ["look", 2562], ["looked", 2562], ["bewilder", 2573], ["bewilderest", 2573], ["bewildered", 2573], ["realize", 2591], ["realized", 2591], ["must", 2601], ["musts", 2601], ["wonder", 2614], ["wonderest", 2614], ["wondering", 2614], ["sprint", 2637], ["sprinted", 2637], ["sprinting", 2637], ["three", 2664], ["guard", 2685], ["chase", 2693], ["chasing", 2693], ["whole", 2764], ["wholes", 2764], ["life", 2769], ["lifes", 2769], ["dream", 2791], ["dreamt", 2791], ["dreamest", 2791], ["dreamed", 2791], ["join", 2802], ["joinest", 2802], ["joining", 2802], ["envision", 2850], ["envisioned", 2850], ["happen", 2863], ["happening", 2863], ["run", 2877], ["ran", 2877], ["debate", 2888], ["debating", 2888], ["course", 2912], ["plain", 2937], ["plains", 2937], ["large", 2957], ["boy", 2961], ["recruit", 2973], ["recruitest", 2973], ["decide", 2983], ["decided", 2983], ["stop", 3041], ["stopping", 3041], ["tall", 3053], ["muscle", 3062], ["bind", 3068], ["bound", 3068], ["nearly", 3084], ["twice", 3090], ["size", 3103], ["raise", 3119], ["raised", 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["treed", 4380], ["treeing", 4380], ["merely", 4397], ["stumble", 4406], ["stumbled", 4406], ["inch", 4424], ["inches", 4424], ["cold", 4450], ["track", 4464], ["tracks", 4464], ["fall", 4473], ["falls", 4473], ["fell", 4473], ["bode", 4512], ["boding", 4512], ["hit", 4544], ["ground", 4555], ["thud", 4567], ["ear", 4578], ["ears", 4578], ["rung", 4586], ["rang", 4586], ["ring", 4586], ["ringing", 4586]]

never once had jeremy heard of a spirit guide channeling from the other , hotter place . a lost loved one never mentioned that he was being roasted on a spit or boiled in a cauldron of motor oil , for instance . but jeremy knew he was being cynical . and besides , he had to admit , it was a pretty good show . timothy clausen was good-far better than most of the quacks jeremy had written about over the years . `` i know it 's hard , '' clausen said into the microphone , `` but frank is telling you that it 's time to let him go now . '' the woman he was addressing with oh-so-much empathy looked as if she was about to faint . fiftyish , she wore a green-striped blouse , her curly red hair sprouting and spiraling in every direction . her hands were clasped so tightly at chest level that her fingers were white from the pressure . clausen paused and brought his hand to his forehead , drawing once more on `` the world beyond , '' as he put it . in the silence , the crowd collectively leaned forward in their seats . everyone knew what was coming next ; this was the third audience member clausen had chosen today . not surprisingly , clausen was the only featured guest on the popular talk show . `` do you remember the letter he sent you ? '' clausen asked . the crewman beside her held the microphone even closer so that everyone watching on television would be able to hear her clearly . `` yes , but how could you know about- ? '' clausen did n't let her finish . `` do you remember what it said ? '' `` yes , '' the woman croaked . clausen nodded , as if he 'd read the letter himself . `` it was about forgiveness , was n't it ? '' on the couch , the hostess of the show , the most popular afternoon talk show in america , swiveled her gaze from clausen to the woman and back again . she looked both amazed and satisfied . spirit guides were always good for ratings . as the woman in the audience nodded , jeremy noticed mascara beginning to stream down her cheeks . the cameras zoomed in to show it more clearly . daytime television at its dramatic best . `` but how could you ... `` he was talking about your sister , too , '' clausen murmured . `` not just himself . '' the woman stared at clausen transfixed . `` your sister ellen , '' clausen added , and with that revelation , the woman finally let loose a raspy cry . tears burst forth like an automated sprinkler . clausen-tan and trim in his black suit with nary a hair out of place-continued to nod like one of those bobbing dogs you stick on your dashboard . the audience gazed at the woman in utter silence . `` frank left something else for you , did n't he ? something from your past . '' in spite of the hot studio lights , the woman actually seemed to pale . in the corner of the set , beyond the general viewing area , jeremy saw the producer rotating an upraised finger in a helicopter pattern . it was getting close to the commercial break . clausen glanced almost imperceptibly in that direction . no one but jeremy seemed to notice , and he often wondered why viewers never questioned how channeling from the spirit world could be timed so perfectly to fit with commercial breaks . clausen went on . `` that no one else could know about . a key of some sort , is that right ? '' the sobs continued as the woman nodded . `` you never thought he 'd save it , did you ? '' okay , here 's the clincher , jeremy thought . another true believer on the way . `` it 's from the hotel where you stayed on your honeymoon . he put it there so that when you found it , you would remember the happy times you spent together . he does n't want you to remember him with pain , because he loves you . '' `` ooohhhhhhh ... , '' the woman cried . a moan perhaps . from where he was sitting jeremy could n't be certain , because the cry was interrupted by sudden , enthusiastic applause . all at once , the microphone was pulled away . cameras zoomed out . her moment in the sun completed , the woman from the audience collapsed in her seat . on cue , the hostess stood from the couch and faced the camera . `` remember that what you 're seeing is real . none of these people have ever met with timothy clausen . '' `` we 'll be back with one more reading after this . '' more applause as the show broke for commercials , and jeremy leaned back in his seat . as an investigative journalist known for his interest in science , he 'd made a career out of writing about people like this .

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though i am quite pleased to see you , truly . he pressed her hand gently and let it go . and your voice does have a quality of projection that would rival any of our current actors . but let us be quiet a moment . he turned slightly and she had to turn as well so that she could give him her full attention . it had the added advantage of blocking her face from jamess view . i can see i timed my call quite perfectly . you have had a chance to charm any number of young men and they have seen that i am among the competition . she laughed , but it was a quiet , conspiratorial sound , no more than a breath against his cheek . we will not stand here and plot . we will enjoy each others company and set the scene for our future meetings . but what is next ? a surprise , he insisted with a smile and turned so they faced the room again . it was then that christiana saw lord monksford talking with joanna and his brother . who is that with joanna and lord monksford ? she spoke with an element of awe in her voice . james did have that effect on people . there was an arrogance about him that made him hard to ignore . she turned toward him and morgan leaned closer , closer than he should , and breathed in the youth and vibrancy she wore like a scent . that is my brother , james . she clapped her hands together and her grin grew twofold . oh , that is , perfect , absolutely perfect . he is the one we want to impress , is he not ? when had the gods of mischief been let loose ? with sudden vehemence doubts assailed him . it was too soon to put their charade to this test . eight christiana looked toward james without making the slightest effort to disguise her curiosity . morgan took her hand and hoped that her mother was not watching . we will not overplay this , sprite . your mother and my brother need only see our interest in each other . no dramatics . she nodded politely , but her beautiful eyes were sparking with the challenge . yes , i do understand , really i do . we must stand here a moment longer and chat . then you will introduce me ? morgan tried to imbue his voice with some enthusiasm . christiana spoke with finality and then turned briefly to look at the group . when she turned back , she was composed and amiable . she was everything a young lady should be . her eyes had quieted , even her gown appeared more demure . had she left her excitement with the blue shawl now draped across the nearest chair ? have you ever noticed , my lord , how lovely my sister is when she speaks with real animation ? she spoke with such primness that he was the one who grinned . he whispered , breaking his own rule . i think of what is at stake , she hissed at him . he nodded , properly chastised , and subdued his smile . glancing toward the group , he realized that she was right . at this moment joanna lambert was more than lovely . her dress was as simple as christianas , muslin also but washed through with blue and of far more conservative cut than her sisters . it suited her slimmer figure and more serious mien and the color of her dress made her eyes more blue than gray . was it the conversation that added the color to her cheeks and eyes ? she was talking seriously to lord monksford and james . and both men were listening . christiana shook her head , her eyes brimming with disappointment . i do not understand why she is so taken with lord monksford . you do not think my brother is the one responsible for that glow ? morgan had been among the ton long enough to have witnessed more than one unusual alliance . your brother is too intimidating by far . it is lord monksford who has captured her fancy . oh , how he would love to use that in the betting book at whites , but if monksford disliked him now , he would surely give him the cut direct if he became the butt of the kind of gossip that was routine for a braedon . you think james is intimidating ? your sister does not look the least bit impressed . it is precisely because monksford is there as a buffer . christiana waved her hand . joanna says she likes monksford best of all the men she has danced with , but i think he just makes her feel comfortable . he must be nearly as old as papa . and i know joanna misses papas kindnesses right now . morgan felt for the man . monksford was not even five-and-thirty and at least one lambert saw him as nothing more than a father figure . he looks older because he favors all the wrong colors . that brown jacket ages his skin as surely as it would a woman with his coloring . she spoke in a considering tone . that could be it , but we can hardly walk up to him and suggest a different tailor , can we ? she giggled , and then stifled it .

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her family seemed happy for her and their excitement showed despite all the questions . she continued to be blessed by her family 's supportive streak . they could be overbearing and in her face at times , but they did it out of love . their encouragement helped settle her nerves about stepping into the dating world again . finally they cleared the table and headed for the kitchen . `` hey matt , you want to come out with us men and shoot some hoops ? '' josh asked as he placed his dirty dishes into the sink . matt glanced over at ava for the okay . `` sure , i 'll do about anything to get out of washing dishes . '' he looked down at his dress shoes . `` i 'll either use the shoes as an excuse if i lose or a huge asset when i rub it in your face that i won . '' the guys all laughed as they headed out back to the court . without needing words , ava could tell the votes were in and matt had passed with flying colors . after the kitchen had been cleaned up and the boys had finished their macho basketball game they settled in the living room . lucy walked into the room with spoons in her hands . `` anyone interested in a game of spoons ? '' matt passed , claiming this was a sight he needed to see . he sat on the couch with her parents while the four of them got on the floor in a circle . williams 's family night tradition came with dinner and games . `` spoons '' had been a childhood favorite . they put the spoons in the middle , pulled out the cards , and the madness began . everyone held an extremely competitive side , so no one would go out easily . lucy was out first and josh followed her in the next round . jake and ava were left for the last round . it was for all the marbles and bragging rights . their hands flew through the cards . they both grabbed at the last spoon together . her brother was stronger , but she had more spunk . before she could stop it they were wrestling on the floor , with everyone laughing and cheering expect for her mom , who was warning them about the table in the corner . ava held her own until jake started playing dirty and tickled her . she was a goner and let go immediately . `` cheater , '' she shouted while laughing and getting up from the floor . `` all right , let 's take a break and get some ice cream , '' her mom interrupted . `` did you make that , too , lucy ? '' `` very funny , josh ... and i could if i wanted to . '' lucy shot back in a mimicking voice and then punched his shoulder . he grabbed his arm , faking that it hurt . `` hey , you better be nice , one of these days she 's really going to whoop up on you , '' ava said , joining the friendly banter . `` oh ava , are you feeling left out ? '' josh came over and put her in a head lock while taking his knuckles and raking the top of her head with them . she detested when he did that . he knew it and savored the enjoyment of irritating her . `` all right , kids , '' her mom laughed while herding them into the kitchen , `` i guess things will never change . '' ava looked over at matt and he smiled . he came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders . her life was changing , but would it end up for the good ? she could only hope and pray . ava made her way across town toward kim 's house , still in disbelief that kim had called and asked to talk . it had been so long since she 'd called the first time in the middle of the night and this time her tone did n't seem as hopeless . the last few weeks had been driving ava crazy , not knowing how kim was doing . tessa always seemed fine at school and would answer her questions , but now that school had dismissed for the summer , she was clueless on the situation without her little inside scoop . she reached for her sunglasses and put them on when the sun came out from behind the clouds . stopping for a red light , she took a breath to calm her nerves . a few nights ago she and matt had been talking about kim . ava shared her frustrations about not hearing from her again while matt voiced his concerns about the situation . he had respectfully asked that ava stay away from the house . she appreciated his desire to protect her . they did n't know how ray would react if approached and matt was afraid of what he would do if he found ava at his house again . remorse clogged her thoughts for not following his suggestion , but kim had asked her to come and she could n't chance kim changing her mind if she asked to meet elsewhere . as she approached kim 's neighborhood she turned on her turn signal and merged into the right lane toward her exit .

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his mouth was eager and she opened to him as naturally as a flower to the sun . she clung to him , and then he suddenly jerked his head away . valerie pressed her face into his shoulder and shuddered . she might 've been able to forget him , forget these feelings , if he had n't kissed her again , if he had n't taken her into his arms . `` valerie , ca n't you see what 's happening ? '' `` we ca n't let this continue . '' `` but- '' `` are you willing to risk everything we 've both worked all our lives to achieve ? are you going to change , or do you expect me to ? the fact is , you know that neither of us wants to give anything up . so we 've got to put an end to this . because , valerie , we have nothing in common . '' offhand , valerie could think of several things they had in common , but she did n't mention them . she understood what colby was saying . if they went on as they were , it would lead to the inevitable , and they 'd be so deeply in love that they 'd forget what was keeping them apart . they 'd choose to forget that valerie had a brilliant career waiting for her back in houston . they 'd choose to forget that colby wanted a woman who 'd be a dedicated homemaker . they 'd overlook even the most obvious differences . for a while , their love would be enough , but that would n't last , not for long . `` it 's time to go back , '' colby said , releasing her . `` dad wo n't be worried . '' `` i 'm not talking about your father . i 'm talking about you , valerie . go back to texas , '' he said , his dark eyes holding hers , `` before it 's too late . '' it was the second time he 'd pleaded with her to leave , and this time hurt even more than the first . eight `` colby 's taken sherry waterman out three nights in a row , '' norah said casually over a cup of coffee saturday morning . `` they 've gone out every night since dad 's been home . '' she nibbled her toast , but her gaze managed to avoid valerie 's , as though she felt guilty about relaying the information . `` i assume there 's a reason you want me to know this . '' `` yes , '' norah murmured . `` sherry was at the hospital , and we had a chance to talk . she says she ca n't understand why colby keeps asking her out . the spark just is n't there . they enjoy each other 's company , but they 're never going to be more than friends . it almost seems as if colby wants to make it something it 's not . '' `` perhaps sherry 's reading more into the situation than is there . '' valerie did n't actually believe that , but she felt compelled to suggest it . she knew exactly what colby was doing-escaping her , fighting everything he felt for her . `` sherry realizes colby 's in love with someone else , and she also knows he 's fighting it . '' norah 's words were an eerie echo of her own thoughts . `` it 's you , is n't it , val ? colby 's in love with you . '' `` i ca n't speak for him , '' valerie insisted , munching furiously on her toast . she gave a careless shrug and answered the question with one of her own , always a good business move . `` what do i know about love ? '' `` you know enough , '' norah argued . `` please , do everyone a favor and put the poor guy out of his misery . '' valerie asked , genuinely curious . she was miserable , too , but no one seemed to take that into consideration . in other circumstances , she would 've talked to steffie , but her middle sister was obviously having relationship problems of her own-not that she was forthcoming with the details . `` for the love of heaven , '' norah cried , `` just marry him . any fool can see that , and you 're in love with him , too . '' `` yes , it is , '' norah insisted . perhaps to norah , who was young and idealistic . but there were too many complications valerie could n't afford to ignore in her relationship with colby . besides , he 'd been pretty explicit about wanting her to leave . `` i think you should quit your job , move back home and marry dr. winston , '' norah said decisively . `` take up politics ? learn to knit ? if i was really lucky , i might find some job in town that 's about a tenth as interesting as the job i have now . listen , i 've been an active businesswoman for the past eight years .

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`` you said he does n't know so you ca n't know how he would react . '' cynthia swung around . `` what do you think he 'd do ? this would ruin his chances of a football scholarship . and my father would probably kill him . '' `` your father will certainly be very angry , but i doubt he 'll resort to violence . however , that 's not the issue . the issue is this is his baby - `` `` it 's my baby ! '' `` - as much as it 's yours , '' kathryn said , pushing a point cynthia obviously did n't want to address . `` you have to let him make his own decision about what to do . '' `` i wo n't tell you his name . '' i 'm just saying the baby does n't belong to one parent any more than the other . '' `` mama said men were n't interested in babies . she said babies belong to their mothers . '' `` i expect the boy will want to stay as far away as possible , but you 've got to give him the chance to decide . talk to your father about it when he gets back . '' `` if he gets back . '' `` if margaret says you can swear by what he says , then i 'm sure he 'll be back . if anybody knows a man better than his wife , it 's the housekeeper . '' `` margaret says he ought to get married again . she says it 's not good for a young man to be without a wife . she says he 'll meet all kinds of women who 'll give him diseases . '' `` i 'm not sure this is something margaret should talk to you about . '' `` i know all about stds . that 's another reason i think you ought to marry him . i know you have n't been - `` `` this conversation has gotten entirely off base . leigh is coming by this afternoon . you do n't have to see her if you do n't want to . but if you keep putting her off until she gives up , you 'll always wonder about her friendship , and that will be doing her a disservice . if you 're the kind of friend you 'd like her to be , then you owe her that opportunity . '' cynthia looked mulish . `` now you have lessons to do if you 're going to keep up with your schooling . and i have bills to pay if i 'm going to keep this shelter running . '' but an hour later kathryn gave up and pushed her checkbook aside . she could n't get ron out of her mind . or cynthia 's crazy notion that she should marry him . there was n't a single reason she could think of to recommend the idea , so she did n't understand why she could n't get it out of her mind . she did n't have many friends and she barely got along with her family . that was n't a recommendation for becoming the wife of a man like ron egan . he needed someone who could understand his need to be the world 's greatest overachiever . and achieve social acceptance which she knew he would ultimately find meaningless . she could n't understand why she could n't stop thinking about him . she had to figure out what it was so she could get over her obsession . it was n't really an obsession . maybe it was just fascination . but when she was with him , differences did n't seem to matter . he was a charismatic man . she guessed that 's what made him so successful in the business . but she was n't with him now , and differences did matter . still , they did n't seem insuperable . common sense told her they would n't be easy to overcome . they came from different worlds and were poles apart on how they felt about it . he wanted to conquer her world . she wanted to ignore most of it . she 'd never thought of walking into a ready-made family , husband , daughter and grandchild . a man who already had a grandchild might not want more children . and then there were the inevitable differences over how they should handle the situation . she would always be an outsider because cynthia was his daughter , not hers . and this did n't even begin to take into consideration the possibility that cynthia might be jealous of any children she might have . children might say they did n't value money , but few things could break up a family more quickly than squabbles over who was going to inherit what . kathryn closed her desk and got up . she needed something to take her mind off ron . her friends had been begging her to let them take her shopping . they said she never bought anything really nice for herself because she saved all her money for the shelter . today she felt like buying a new dress . maybe even shoes and a bag to go with it . she 'd call two of her friends . they 'd enjoy it even more if they could share being amazed she had finally broken down and agreed to go shopping .

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he had liked and respected peter whitney . i know everyone feels his loss . '' right now lily could n't think about her father and how much she would miss him . she would n't think about being alone and frightened . she could n't talk , she did n't dare . her emotions were raw , far too close to the surface . she had waited all week , torn between impatience and a terrible dread , to be officially asked by the president of the corporation to take over her father 's work . she had n't dared appear too eager and had stayed locked up in her home , mourning her loss , grieving privately , away from even those whom she called family , all the while planning carefully her every move to find her father 's murderer . she had searched for a hidden laboratory in her enormous home , but there were so many rooms , hidden and not , that it seemed an impossible task . there were secret passageways leading belowground and up to the attics . she had meticulously gone over the blueprints and the floor plans , but to no avail . so far she had not found her father 's secret world , and she hoped he 'd left her a clue to its whereabouts in his office at donovans . lily moved quickly through the rows of bottles and burners , through two rooms filled with computers to halt at another door . firmly she pressed her palm and fingertips into the print scanner and leaned close to speak her coded phrase , waiting as an unseen computer analyzed the combination of her speech patterns and hand scan to verify her identity . the heavy door slid aside and she went into another , much larger complex . the laboratory had muted lighting , turning the world into a bluish , tranquil setting . it was filled with plants and trickling waterfalls . the sound of water added to the calm atmosphere kept at all times in the lab . in the background was the continual sound of the ocean playing on a tape , waves rushing the shore and retreating , adding to the soothing ambiance of the laboratory . `` how was he last night ? '' lily asked after greeting the dark-haired lab tech , who had snapped to attention in his chair when she entered . she had known roger talbot , her father 's assistant , for five years . she had always liked and respected him . `` not good , dr. whitney ; he did n't sleep again . he 's pacing back and forth like a wild animal . the level of aggression and agitation has risen daily this last week . he 's asked for you repeatedly and has ceased all cooperation with testing . his pacing is driving me crazy . '' lily pinned him with a sharp gaze . `` from what i read in the reports , his hearing is extremely acute , roger-i doubt if he cares much for your admission . you 're not the one locked up , now , are you ? '' her voice was low but it carried a lash of reprimand . `` i 'm sorry , '' roger apologized immediately . i do n't have an excuse for being so unprofessional . i 'm letting the colonel get to me . colonel higgens has been extremely difficult . without your father around to provide some kind of a buffer , we 're all ... '' `` i 'll see what i can do to keep him out of here for a while , '' she soothed . `` about your father ... '' roger trailed off as she continued to look at him . `` it must be difficult for you , '' he tried again . lily was monitoring his emotions as she had with the other technician . roger had no idea how her father could have disappeared and he was desperate for his boss to return . `` yes , it is difficult not knowing what happened to him . take a break , roger , you 've earned it . i 'll be here for some time . i 'll beep you when i leave . '' roger glanced around the room as if they might not be alone . `` he 's getting stronger , dr . she followed his gaze toward the other side of the lab , waited a heartbeat , her mind assimilating the information . `` what gives you the impression he 's growing stronger ? '' roger rubbed at his temples . he becomes very quiet when he 's not pacing ; he sits there , perfectly still , concentrating . the computers go crazy , alarms start going off , everyone scrambles , but it 's a bogey . and i think he might be able to talk to the others . '' `` not only has he stopped with testing , but so have all the others . they are n't supposed to be able to communicate with the heavy glass and all , yet it 's like they have a collective brain or something . no one is cooperating . '' `` they 're all isolated from one another . '' her hand went to her throat , her only sign of agitation . `` you 've been in here cooped up with him too long .

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i , however , was not happy to see him at my door and didnt invite him in . managing not to growl the words , i said , how may i help you ? i couldnt quite understand his expression . he sounded like he was trying for polite . id like to see my daughter . im afraid shes indisposed . i saw as , with his usual astuteness , he put it together , beccas unavailability and my lack of shirt . was it written somewhere that i couldnt be fully clothed when i talked to the man ? i wasnt going to volunteer becca to him if i could help it . his behavior at the hospital had proven him incapable of having a rational conversation with her . uh , well , i suppose it would be wise to speak to you first anyway , he said . i wanted to tell him to piss off , but becca still loved him . i paused to glare . i couldnt turn him away nor could i fathom the idea of him in my house . the growl was unavoidable this time . stepping back to allow him in , i warned , shes sleeping . he nodded then walked in to look around at beccas perfectly kept house , perfect but for the papers id left on the coffee table . id given an essay the theme of which was inspired by her , so i thought she might like to read some of them . we hadnt gotten around to cleaning them up last night . continuing with his attempt at polite and with a splash of casual , he said , nice place . how much do you pay in rent ? becca had told me he owned a few rental properties , so i understood his interest . i enjoyed the answer much more than he did . we own it outright . at the look on his face , i had to fight back the smugness . he didnt seem to know what to do with himself . i forced manners and gestured for him to have a seat on the couch . hoping hed go before becca woke , i pushed forward . face lined with stress , he hesitated . i tried not to glare while i wondered if he had ever been lost for words before . i began to think he was waiting for me , but i was much better at silenceand at waiting . i saw you at the hospital , he finally said . i hear you saw a few things . you werent able to give your opinion then . what you told the woman , is it true ? he looked torn , as if part of him believed , but the other part , the pigheaded asshole , refused . he seemed to be debating whether or not to cross-examine , so i took the book from my pocket to lay it on the table in front of him . i almost smirked when he picked it up and flipped through the pages . his eyes on the miniscule print , he said , i dont understand . this obviously really irritated him . i fell in love with her , i said . id said this to him before , but this time he apparently got it . you dont know her , i said . youve never known her . she didnt let me . you never tried . i took my book from between his fingers . she let you believe you made her happy with new clothes and a credit card . she saw that made you feel good about yourself , and shes never wanted anything more than to please you , to make you proud . you enjoyed having three lovely and adoring women at home making you feel important , stroking your ego . i saw i was beginning to stretch his limits but pushed on anyway . what did she do when she was alone ? what has she always carried with her ? i never told her she couldnt write her little stories . did you ever ask to read them ? mouth still open to continue his retort , he stopped . you may have never told her she wasnt allowed , but did you ever get annoyed when she jotted something down in a restaurant , while waiting in line , during a car ride ? she sees everything . what do you think she was writing ? he stood , apparently unable to handle the aggravation . youve read her book , but you have no idea , i said . theres so much , so much youve missed . shes never wanted anything other than to please you , and she knew how to accomplish it . she shouldve been stronger . i cant imagine the strength it took to hide herself , to be what she was expected to be . she didnt feel she was allowed to be herself . but she does with me , i added . his tone was clipped by sarcasm , but i heard it . he honestly wanted to know . he paused then showed his pigheadedness in full force , muttering , incapable of telling her no . now he was pushing my limits , and my blood pressure rose , forcing me to my feet . she deserves anything she wants , but shes only ever wanted me . shes only ever been with me . speaking through my teeth , i added , shes not a whore . he cringed from his own words . i saw his shame but drove the point home anyway .

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`` whether it 's self-inflicted or not is immaterial . it 's still ... '' `` what ? '' she asked when he left the observation incomplete . `` unpleasant , '' he finished with profound understatement . caroline , too , lifted her hand , thinking she would move his away , but her traitorous fingers closed over his wrist and stayed there . another tear streaked down her cheek , and he nudged it away with the pad of his thumb . beneath her own thumb , she felt his pulse quicken , and she realized he was as confused and uncertain about all this as she was . and then she remembered that their reason for being there was n't because she was lonely . or because he was lonely . or because they were trying to define what , exactly , was going on between the two of them , anyway . there was nothing going on between the two of them . the reason they were there was because a young girl needed something more in her life to get her back on track . caroline reminded herself that she was an educator , first and foremost , and in forgetting that , she had let one of her students down . `` chloe , '' she said quietly . `` we were talking about chloe . '' as if the name were an incantation , that single word broke the odd spell that had descended , and caroline managed to release kimball 's wrist and hand and take a step away . when she did , whatever strange illusion had appeared in his eyes vanished , and his features reverted to the expressionlessness she 'd grown accustomed to seeing . for a moment , she wondered if maybe she had just imagined the entire encounter , if maybe she had read something into their conversation that had n't been there at all . then she recalled the gentleness of his fingers against her face , and the tenderness of his palm against hers . she remembered how lonely and confused he had looked himself . and she realized she had imagined none of it . maybe he was right , she thought . maybe they really were two of a kind . but that was no reason they had to have any more to do with each other than was absolutely necessary . no reason to rush off on a pointless pursuit . `` chloe , '' she said again . `` we need to talk more about her , mr . for a moment , she thought he would refuse , then , with clear reluctance , he nodded . `` fine , '' he said , sounding very , very tired . `` we 'll talk about chloe . but please , '' he added , `` at least call me schuyler . so few people outside my family do . '' it was a bad idea , caroline thought . but if it would help get him to talk about his daughter , she 'd do it . schuyler , '' she said , surprised to realize that his name was n't so difficult to say at all , even more surprised to discover that she liked the way it felt on her tongue . `` if you 'd like to come back to my office , i have several suggestions for how we might go about helping chloe . '' chapter thirteen the afternoon following that profoundly erotic , but not quite satisfying , grope in schuyler kimball 's pantry found leo battling no small army of anxiety as he prepared for lily rigby 's arrival at his front door . he 'd left kimball 's estate early in the day-still having discovered jack about what he needed to discover-just so he could come home and get the place ready for lily rigby . but as he looked around , feeling strangely helpless , he wondered if he could possibly ever be ready for something like that . he did n't worry that the place offered any incriminating evidence of what he currently did for a living-namely , lying , sneaking around , and misrepresenting himself to a beautiful , luscious woman who may or may not have something to hide herself . in fact , his turn-of-the-century chestnut hill townhouse looked better than it had looked in some time . maybe , he thought , it looked a little too good . a lowly bookkeeper for kimball technologies , inc. probably would n't pull in enough in salary to live in chestnut hill , let alone have acquired all the electronic wonders that made a single man 's life worth living , the way leo had . like that state-of-the-art sound system in the corner and that satellite tv system front and center . and the earth-toned leather furnishings and contemporary patterned rugs-not to mention a few pieces of original artwork-were probably also beyond the income of a working stiff like leonard freiberger . leo was even worried about what he was wearing . what he was wearing , for god 's sake . he still could n't believe he 'd been reduced to standing in front of his closet , wondering what miss rigby would be wearing , concerned about giving off the wrong impression . would they be staying in , or going out ?

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