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/"Loyalty" Sermon about God, marriage, in-laws, and faithfulness.webm.en.srt
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Now, tonight I want to preach about the subject | |
of loyalty. | |
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Now, loyalty is not a word that's used in | |
the Bible, but the Bible does use the word | |
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faithfulness over a hundred times, and if | |
you look up the word loyalty in a dictionary, | |
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the dictionary I used had three definitions | |
for loyalty and they all included the word | |
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faithfulness in the definition. | |
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I looked up loyal in the dictionary. | |
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It said, number one: The state or quality | |
of being loyal; faithfulness to commitment | |
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or obligations, is loyalty. | |
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Faithful to commitments or obligations. | |
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Number two, it said: Faithful adherence to | |
a sovereign government, leader, cause, et | |
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cetera; and Number three: An example or instance | |
of faithfulness, adherence, or the like. | |
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The reason I use the word loyal is that faithfulness | |
has a lot of definitions. | |
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It means a few different things, whereas loyalty | |
is a little bit more of a specific word that | |
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kind of narrows down exactly what we're talking | |
about. | |
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I want to preach about the fact that we must | |
be loyal to certain people in our lives and | |
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in a certain order of priority. | |
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Now, first of all, it should go without saying, | |
go to Matthew, Chapter Ten, that the number | |
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one loyalty we should have in our lives is | |
our loyalty to Jesus Christ. | |
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If you look up that word faithful in the Bible, | |
and you look at the scriptures that are admonishing | |
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us to be faithful, most of them are telling | |
us to be faithful to the Lord and be faithful | |
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to Jesus Christ, because obviously that should | |
be our number one loyalty. | |
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Matthew, Chapter Ten, Verse Thirty-Seven reads: | |
"He that loveth father or mother more than | |
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me, is not worthy of me and he that loveth | |
son or daughter more than me, is not worthy | |
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of me and he that taketh not his cross and | |
followeth after me is not worthy of me." | |
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In this scripture we see that some of our | |
dearest relationships - our parents, and our | |
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children - should not be closer to us than | |
our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. | |
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We can't love them more than we love Jesus | |
Christ. | |
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Our number one loyalty is to the Lord Jesus | |
Christ. | |
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Go to First Samuel, Chapter Two. | |
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This is one that we looked at last Sunday | |
in a different sermon, a different context. | |
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First Samuel, Chapter number Two. | |
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While you're turning there, I'll read to you | |
from Mark Ten-Twenty-Nine, where the Bible | |
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reads: "And Jesus answered and said, 'verily | |
I say unto you, there is no man that had left | |
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house or brethren or sisters or father or | |
mother or wife or children or lands, for my | |
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sake and the gospel's, but he shall receive | |
a hundredfold now in this time houses and | |
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brethren and sisters and mothers and children | |
and lands with persecutions and in the world | |
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to come, eternal life.'" | |
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Again, God is telling us that there's a time | |
when you have to choose God over family. | |
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You have to choose God over your friends. | |
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You have to choose God over houses or lands. | |
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You have to choose God over a spouse, over | |
parents, over children. | |
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Jesus Christ must hold the number one place | |
in our lives. | |
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In all things he must have the preeminence | |
and we should never be more loyal to anyone | |
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or anything than we are loyal to the Lord | |
Jesus Christ. | |
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First Samuel Two-Twenty-Nine, this is where | |
Eli is being rebuked and it says in Verse | |
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Twenty-Nine: "Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice | |
and at mine offering, which I have commanded | |
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in my habitation, and honors thy sons above | |
me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest | |
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of all the offerings of Israel, my people." | |
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This is a case of someone putting their children | |
above the Lord and being more loyal to children | |
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than the Lord. | |
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Another example of this that would be a positive | |
example, is First Kings Fifteen. | |
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Flip over there. | |
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First Kings, Chapter Fifteen. | |
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Now should be loyal to our parents? | |
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Absolutely. | |
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The Bible teaches, for example, in the Ten | |
Commandments: "Honor they father and thy mother, | |
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that thy days may be long upon the land which | |
the Lord they God giveth thee." | |
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Then Ephesians Six in the New Testament says, | |
"Honor they father and mother, which is the | |
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first commandment with promise that it may | |
be well with thee and that thou mayest live | |
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long on the earth." | |
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Proverbs Twenty-Three-Twenty-Two tells us: | |
"Hearken under thy father that begat thee | |
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and despise not thy mother when she is old." | |
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Should we be loyal to our parents in the sense | |
that we love them, honor them and when they | |
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get old, take care of them? | |
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Absolutely. | |
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He says, "Look, don't despise your mother | |
when she's old. | |
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Honor your father and mother." | |
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First Timothy Five teaches that, I'll read | |
it for you, you don't have to turn there, | |
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but Verse Three: "Honor widows that are widows | |
indeed, but if any widow have children or | |
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nephews, let them learn first to show piety | |
at home and to requite their parents, for | |
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that is good and acceptable before God." | |
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What's the Bible saying? | |
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Your mother is a widow and she's old and needs | |
to be taken care of, it is your job as the | |
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child or the nephew to take care of your destitute | |
mother because we should not forsake our parents | |
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and have no loyalty to them. | |
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No, we should have loyalty to our parents. | |
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The Bible teaches that. | |
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It says in First Timothy Five-Sixteen: "If | |
any man or woman that believeth have widows, | |
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let them relieve them and let not the church | |
be charged that it may relieve them that are | |
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widows indeed." | |
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God teaches that we should honor our parents | |
and when the Bible uses the word honor it | |
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has to do with providing for their needs and | |
it's talking about financially. | |
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That's what the word honor often means in | |
the Bible. | |
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Just if you study the English word honor and | |
the origins of it, for example, the old English | |
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word, if you go back to old English, like | |
a thousand years ago, the word was [árweorðung | |
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00:05:34] and it meant, not only honor in | |
the sense of giving someone respect, but it | |
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also meant that you were actually paying tribute | |
to a king in a financial way. | |
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Because old English was spoken by the sea-faring | |
people around England and so forth, and so | |
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a lot of them were conquered by the Vikings | |
and so forth, and they had to pay [árweorðung | |
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00:05:56] or they had to pay honor to these | |
kings. | |
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Now it makes sense that those two definitions | |
would kind of merge together in the word honor, | |
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because if you're honoring a king, what do | |
you honor him with? | |
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You honor him with gold and gifts, and so | |
forth. | |
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When the Bible says to honor your father and | |
mother, it's often tied in with taking care | |
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of them financially when they're old. | |
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Like, for example, the Bible said that Jesus | |
was disputing with the Pharisees in Matthew | |
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Fifteen and he told them, "Hey, the scripture | |
says honor they father and mother, but your | |
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tradition is saying any man that says corban, | |
that is to say it is a gift, concerning whatsoever | |
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thou mightest be profited by me, and it says | |
you don't suffer him to do ought for his mother | |
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and father, you're making the word of God | |
of no effect when it says honor they father | |
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and mother." | |
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Honor thy father and mother isn't just saying | |
honor them like respect them or treat them | |
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well. | |
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It does mean that also, but it also contains | |
the meaning of paying for their needs when | |
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they become old and need that if they don't | |
have any money. | |
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That used to be the retirement plan by the | |
way, before social security was instituted | |
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in the 1930s, parents were taken care of by | |
their children when they were old. | |
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Children and grandchildren would chip in and | |
take care of their parents. | |
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That's what the Bible commands, and I could | |
do a whole sermon where I go over that, but | |
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there's a lot of scripture about honoring | |
your parents, loving your parents, taking | |
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care of them, not despising them when they're | |
old, not forsaking them. | |
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Loyalty to your parents is important, but | |
loyalty to Jesus Christ has to trump loyalty | |
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to parents. | |
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That's your number one loyalty. | |
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Look if you would at this story of a guy who | |
understood that. | |
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First Kings Fifteen-Eleven. | |
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This is King Asa and the Bible says: "And | |
Asa did that which was right in the eyes of | |
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the Lord as did David his father." | |
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We don't have to wonder whether what he did | |
was right here or not. | |
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God comes right out and tells us Asa did what | |
was right, and he's going to explain to us | |
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the right thing that he did. | |
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Verse Twelve: "He took away the Sodomites | |
out of the land." | |
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That's always a good place to start. | |
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"He took away the Sodomites out of the land | |
and removed all the idols that his fathers | |
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had made. | |
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And also Maachah, his mother, even her." | |
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Look at those two words - even her. | |
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"He removed from being queen because she had | |
made an idol in a grove and Asa destroyed | |
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her idol and burnt it by the brook Kidron, | |
but the high places were not removed. | |
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Nevertheless, Asa's heart was perfect with | |
the Lord all his days." | |
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The Bible is saying that it was right of King | |
Asa to take his mother out of the position | |
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of being queen because she had made this idol | |
and was teaching false religion, and he even | |
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destroyed her idol and burnt it and destroyed | |
it. | |
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The Bible is showing us a great example here | |
of a guy who understood. | |
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Look, we love our parents, we should honor | |
our father and mother, we should respect them, | |
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but there comes a point where if we have to | |
choose between honoring the Lord and honoring | |
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our parents, our loyalty is to Christ first | |
and foremost. | |
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That has to be our main loyalty. | |
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Now, not only does the Bible teach that we | |
should be loyal to Christ; it teaches that | |
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we should be loyal to our parents. | |
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It also talks about the fact that we should | |
be loyal to our friends. | |
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Turn if you would to Proverbs Twenty-Seven. | |
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Proverbs Twenty-Seven, and while you're turning | |
there I'll read you an example from Second | |
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Timothy, Chapter One, of a guy who was loyal | |
to his friends. | |
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This is a guy by the name of Onesiphorus. | |
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Onesiphorus was a friend of the Apostle, Paul, | |
and he was loyal to him. | |
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It says in verse Fifteen: "This thou ..." Wait | |
for me there in Proverbs, I'll be there in | |
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a moment. | |
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"This thou knowest, that all they which are | |
in Asia, be turned away from me." | |
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These were people that were disloyal to Paul. | |
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They were not faithful to him. | |
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In his hour of need, they weren't there for | |
him. | |
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It says, "All they are in Asia be turned away | |
from me, of whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes. | |
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The Lord give mercy onto the house of Onesiphorous, | |
for he oft refreshed me and was not ashamed | |
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of my chain." | |
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What's he saying? | |
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He lost a lot of friends by going to prison. | |
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He'd gone to prison and a lot of his friends | |
were ashamed of his chain. | |
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That kind of reminds me of another situation, | |
but anyway, friends and loved ones and family | |
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don't want to be associated with him because | |
they're ashamed of his chain, but Onesiphorous | |
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was faithful to him. | |
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He was a loyal friend, and he says, "He oft | |
refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chain, | |
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but when he was in Rome he sought me out very | |
diligently and found me. | |
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The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy | |
of the Lord in that day and in how many things | |
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he ministered unto me in Ephesus, thou knowest | |
very well." | |
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Look down at your Bible there, Proverbs Twenty-Seven, | |
Verse Ten: "Thine own friend and thy father's | |
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friend, forsake not. | |
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Neither go into thy brother's house in the | |
day of thy calamity, for better is a neighbor | |
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that is near than a brother that is far off." | |
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Flip back to Chapter Eighteen. | |
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The Bible's saying be loyal to your friends | |
and you're going to be able to rely on them | |
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in times of need, sometimes even more than | |
your own family, if you have good friends | |
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to rely on. | |
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Be loyal to them because if you're going to | |
expect loyalty or want to have friends that | |
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are there for you in your time of need, you | |
need to be there for them in their time of | |
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need. | |
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That's why the Bible says in Chapter Eighteen, | |
Verse Twenty-Four, "A man who have friends | |
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must show himself friendly and there is a | |
friend that sticketh closer than a brother." | |
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Sometimes our friends can even be closer to | |
us than our own family. | |
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It's important to be loyal to them and to | |
be there for them in their time of need. | |
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There are a lot of other scriptures on friendship, | |
but go if you would to Ephesians, chapter | |
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Five, where we started tonight, Ephesians, | |
chapter Five. | |
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While you're turning there, I'll read to you | |
from Third John, Verse Fourteen: "But I trust | |
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I shall shortly see thee and we shall speak | |
face to face. | |
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Peace be to thee. | |
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Our friends salute thee. | |
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Greet the friends by name." | |
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You know, the Apostles took great ... They | |
held great importance in the friendships that | |
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they had, because you'll notice at the end | |
of their epistles, like he says, hey, "greet | |
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the friends by name." | |
191 | |
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Paul even went to the great length of listing | |
what seems like every friend he's ever had | |
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at the end of Romans. | |
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Romans, Chapter Sixteen, he just lists friend | |
after friend after ... Say hi to this person, | |
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this person, just shout out after shout out, | |
friend after friend, in Romans Sixteen. | |
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He just goes on and on, but you know what? | |
196 | |
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It shows that he valued his friends. | |
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Often at the beginning of his epistles, he'll | |
say something like, "You know what? | |
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I've been praying for you by name. | |
199 | |
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God is my witness that I have been making | |
mention of you in my prayers night and day." | |
200 | |
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That's a pretty bold statement, to say I'm | |
praying for you by name every day, because | |
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it's in scripture, so it must be true, that | |
he was really doing it. | |
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Paul was somebody who loved and took care | |
of his friends and was loyal to his friends | |
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and therefore he had a good friend, Onesiphorous. | |
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Luke was a good friend, too, other people | |
that were loyal friends. | |
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It's important to be loyal to Christ. | |
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We should be loyal to our parents, we should | |
be loyal to our friends, but let me say this: | |
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Our number one loyalty outside of the Lord | |
Jesus Christ, should be to our spouse. | |
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This is a conflict that people often come | |
into in their lives and people often come | |
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to me and ask me, I've been asked this many | |
times, where people bring me a situation, | |
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a stripe in their family problems, and when | |
you're a pastor, people come to you and talk | |
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to you about this kind of stuff because they | |
want to get some kind of advice from the Bible. | |
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A lot of people have asked me about situations, | |
and I always tell people the same thing, and | |
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I'm going to show you why I believe that from | |
the Bible is that your number one loyalty | |
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is to your spouse, outside of Jesus. | |
215 | |
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Because more important than your relationship | |
with your parents is your relationship with | |
216 | |
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your spouse. | |
217 | |
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Brothers and sisters are not as important | |
as your spouse. | |
218 | |
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Friends are not as important as your spouse. | |
219 | |
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That I believe is your number one loyalty | |
outside of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. | |
220 | |
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Now look what the Bible says and tell me if | |
I'm wrong. | |
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Look at Ephesians Five, verse Twenty-Eight. | |
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"So ought men to love their wives as their | |
own bodies. | |
223 | |
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He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for | |
no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourish | |
224 | |
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it then cherisheth it. | |
225 | |
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Even as the Lord the church, for we are members | |
of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. | |
226 | |
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For this cause shall a man leave his father | |
and mother and shall be joined to his wife | |
227 | |
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and they too shall be one flesh. | |
228 | |
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This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning | |
Christ and the church, nevertheless let every | |
229 | |
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one of you in particular so love his wife, | |
even as himself, and the wife see that she | |
230 | |
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reverence her husband." | |
231 | |
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What do we see in this passage? | |
232 | |
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We should love our wife as our own body and | |
we should consider our wife bone of our bone | |
233 | |
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and flesh of our flesh. | |
234 | |
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You say, "Well, yeah, but this is family." | |
235 | |
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No. | |
236 | |
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Your wife is your family. | |
237 | |
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:09,240 | |
Your husband is your family. | |
238 | |
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That is bone of your bone and flesh of your | |
flesh. | |
239 | |
00:15:11,269 --> 00:15:13,129 | |
Who's your closest relative? | |
240 | |
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Your wife, and it's not because you're from | |
Kentucky. | |
241 | |
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:21,960 | |
I'm saying, now that you're married it's your | |
closest relative, okay? | |
242 | |
00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:23,739 | |
I'm not saying that you're inbreeding. | |
243 | |
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:30,120 | |
I'm saying that when you marry your spouse, | |
you're supposed to leave father and mother | |
244 | |
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and cleave unto your wife and be one flesh | |
with her. | |
245 | |
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,740 | |
That is the great mystery. | |
246 | |
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That is the great relationship in our lives. | |
247 | |
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Now, let me show you a scripture that's one | |
that most people have never even read, let | |
248 | |
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alone has it ever been preached hardly at | |
all. | |
249 | |
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Go to Numbers, Chapter Thirty. | |
250 | |
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It's an interesting chapter. | |
251 | |
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Numbers, Chapter Thirty. | |
252 | |
00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:56,890 | |
I don't remember ever having heard a sermon | |
on this. | |
253 | |
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Maybe I preached on ... I'm pretty sure I | |
preached on this once before in a sermon somewhere, | |
254 | |
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but I'm not even sure. | |
255 | |
00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:08,110 | |
It's kind of one of those obscure chapters | |
in an obscure book that people don't really | |
256 | |
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:11,390 | |
think about, but there's an important lesson | |
in this chapter. | |
257 | |
00:16:11,389 --> 00:16:16,099 | |
Because I think Ephesians Five makes it pretty | |
clear where your loyalty is when it says you | |
258 | |
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:21,630 | |
leave your father and mother and you cleave | |
to your wife. | |
259 | |
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:22,630 | |
Okay? | |
260 | |
00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:24,620 | |
There's a leaving and cleaving. | |
261 | |
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,290 | |
That's a good way to remember it. | |
262 | |
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:27,870 | |
Leave and cleave. | |
263 | |
00:16:27,870 --> 00:16:32,560 | |
There's a leaving and cleaving that needs | |
to take place in our lives where we leave | |
264 | |
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our father and mother and cleave unto our | |
wife and that becomes our new family, our | |
265 | |
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new loyalty right there. | |
266 | |
00:16:39,529 --> 00:16:42,619 | |
Look at Numbers Thirty and let's look at it | |
from the woman's perspective. | |
267 | |
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:46,850 | |
The Bible says in Verse One: "And Moses spake | |
unto the heads of the tribes concerning the | |
268 | |
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children of Israel, saying 'This is the thing | |
which the Lord has commanded." | |
269 | |
00:16:50,839 --> 00:16:51,839 | |
We're going to read the whole chapter. | |
270 | |
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Listen to this chapter. | |
271 | |
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"If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear | |
an oath to bind his soul with a bond, he shall | |
272 | |
00:16:59,339 --> 00:17:01,069 | |
not break his word. | |
273 | |
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:05,120 | |
He shall do according to all that proceedeth | |
out of his mouth." | |
274 | |
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:09,530 | |
That's just a great verse right there in and | |
of itself. | |
275 | |
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:15,650 | |
That's if a man vows a vow unto the Lord, | |
he must stick with it, he must keep the vow, | |
276 | |
00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:17,870 | |
he must do the thing that's gone out of his | |
lips. | |
277 | |
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:21,020 | |
That's Numbers Thirty, Verse Two, but for | |
the rest of the chapter, he's going to talk | |
278 | |
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about women. | |
279 | |
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,450 | |
First he says, okay here it is for a man. | |
280 | |
00:17:24,449 --> 00:17:25,909 | |
Real simple. | |
281 | |
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:28,750 | |
You make a vow, you keep it, period. | |
282 | |
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:32,460 | |
Okay, now we're going to spend the whole rest | |
of the chapter talking about women making | |
283 | |
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,460 | |
a vow. | |
284 | |
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:38,540 | |
It says in Verse Three: "If a woman also vow | |
a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a | |
285 | |
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:44,220 | |
bond, being in her father's house in her youth | |
..." This is a young lady that's still at | |
286 | |
00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:49,300 | |
home, still living with her parents, and she | |
makes a vow. | |
287 | |
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:54,190 | |
It says in Verse Four: "And her father hear | |
her vow, and her bond were with she had bound | |
288 | |
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:58,250 | |
her soul, and her father shall hold his peace | |
at her," meaning he doesn't say anything. | |
289 | |
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,490 | |
He hears her make the vow and he doesn't say | |
anything. | |
290 | |
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:07,540 | |
"Then all her vows shall stand and every bond | |
wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. | |
291 | |
00:18:07,539 --> 00:18:12,379 | |
But if her father disallow her in the day | |
that he heareth, not any of her vows nor of | |
292 | |
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:16,490 | |
her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul | |
shall stand and the Lord shall forgive her | |
293 | |
00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:18,540 | |
because her father disallowed her." | |
294 | |
00:18:18,539 --> 00:18:20,549 | |
Now, let's just explain this real quick. | |
295 | |
00:18:20,549 --> 00:18:25,889 | |
What this is saying is that if a girl who's | |
living with her parents at home swears to | |
296 | |
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:31,710 | |
do something, makes a vow that she's going | |
to do this or not do this, and her father | |
297 | |
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:36,860 | |
hears her make that vow, and doesn't say anything | |
about it, then that vow stands. | |
298 | |
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:43,970 | |
But, if she makes that vow and her dad says, | |
"No, you're not going to do that. | |
299 | |
00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:46,270 | |
No, that vow is not legitimate. | |
300 | |
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:50,080 | |
No, I do not approve of you vowing that," | |
then that vow just went out the window and | |
301 | |
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,200 | |
means nothing. | |
302 | |
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,200 | |
Why? | |
303 | |
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:56,160 | |
Because it's not her job to control her own | |
destiny. | |
304 | |
00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:01,450 | |
Her father is an authority figure in her life, | |
and she can't just say, "Well, I'm going to | |
305 | |
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:03,230 | |
go do this," or "I'm not going to go do ..." No. | |
306 | |
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:04,320 | |
You're not. | |
307 | |
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,100 | |
He can shut that down. | |
308 | |
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:11,040 | |
Now when it says "in the day that he hears | |
of it," that means that if a young lady makes | |
309 | |
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:17,270 | |
a vow unto the Lord, and it's not in the presence | |
of her father, and then he hears about it | |
310 | |
00:19:17,271 --> 00:19:21,831 | |
two weeks later, he can disannul it the first | |
time he hears about it. | |
311 | |
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:26,830 | |
When he hears about it, even if it's six months | |
later, oh he hears about it, that's null and | |
312 | |
00:19:26,830 --> 00:19:29,560 | |
void because I said so. | |
313 | |
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:34,610 | |
But if he hears about it six months later | |
and he holds his peace at that time and the | |
314 | |
00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:40,290 | |
whole day goes by and the next day, well then | |
that vow stands because he didn't say anything. | |
315 | |
00:19:40,289 --> 00:19:43,369 | |
But if he didn't hear about it ... It's when | |
he hears about it. | |
316 | |
00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:45,320 | |
Does everybody understand? | |
317 | |
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,860 | |
Let's keep reading. | |
318 | |
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:53,660 | |
It says in Verse Six: "And if she had at all | |
a husband when she vowed, or uttered ought | |
319 | |
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:57,850 | |
out of her lips wherewith she bound her soul | |
and her husband heard it, and held his peace | |
320 | |
00:19:57,850 --> 00:20:02,910 | |
at her in the day that he heard it, then her | |
vow shall stand and her bonds wherewith she | |
321 | |
00:20:02,909 --> 00:20:06,569 | |
bound her soul shall stand, but if her husband | |
disallowed her on the day that he heard it | |
322 | |
00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:09,780 | |
..." Again, notice it's when he hears about | |
it. | |
323 | |
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:13,910 | |
"Then he shall make her vow which she vowed | |
and that which she uttered with her lips wherewith | |
324 | |
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:18,450 | |
she bound her soul of none effect and the | |
Lord shall forgive her. | |
325 | |
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:22,490 | |
But every vow of a widow and of her that is | |
divorced wherewith they have bound their soul | |
326 | |
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:27,290 | |
shall stand against her, and if she vowed | |
in her husband's house or bound her soul by | |
327 | |
00:20:27,289 --> 00:20:31,529 | |
a bond with an oath and her husband heard | |
it and held his peace at her and disallowed | |
328 | |
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:34,100 | |
her not, then all her vows shall stand. | |
329 | |
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:38,130 | |
And every bond wherewith she bound her soul | |
shall stand, but if her husband hath utterly | |
330 | |
00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:42,170 | |
made them void on the day that he heard them, | |
then whatsoever proceedeth out of her lips | |
331 | |
00:20:42,169 --> 00:20:46,499 | |
concerning her vows or concerning the bond | |
of her soul shall not stand. | |
332 | |
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,880 | |
Her husband hath made them void and the Lord | |
shall forgive her. | |
333 | |
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:56,910 | |
Every vow and every binding oath to afflict | |
the soul, her husband may establish it or | |
334 | |
00:20:56,909 --> 00:20:59,829 | |
her husband may make it void. | |
335 | |
00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:04,590 | |
But if her husband altogether hold his peace | |
at her from day to day, then he establishes | |
336 | |
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:05,590 | |
all her vows." | |
337 | |
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:06,590 | |
What is he saying? | |
338 | |
00:21:06,590 --> 00:21:08,030 | |
Silence is agreement. | |
339 | |
00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:13,480 | |
"Or all of her bonds which are upon her, he | |
confirmeth them because he held his peace | |
340 | |
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,390 | |
at her in the day that he heard them. | |
341 | |
00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:21,450 | |
But if he shall anyways make them void after | |
that he hath heard them, then he shall bear | |
342 | |
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:23,060 | |
her inequity." | |
343 | |
00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:26,809 | |
That verse is important, too, Verse Fifteen. | |
344 | |
00:21:26,809 --> 00:21:28,099 | |
Let's stop and understand it. | |
345 | |
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:34,870 | |
"But if he shall anyways make them void after | |
that he hath heard them, then he shall bear | |
346 | |
00:21:34,870 --> 00:21:35,870 | |
her inequity." | |
347 | |
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:36,870 | |
What does that mean? | |
348 | |
00:21:36,870 --> 00:21:42,700 | |
That means that if he later on hears about | |
a vow and he hold his peace when he hears | |
349 | |
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:47,920 | |
it or if he immediately hears about a vow | |
and just doesn't say anything, and then a | |
350 | |
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,770 | |
few weeks later he's like, "You know what? | |
351 | |
00:21:49,770 --> 00:21:50,770 | |
I changed my mind. | |
352 | |
00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:53,330 | |
That vow's not going to stand." | |
353 | |
00:21:53,330 --> 00:22:00,460 | |
Then at point, the vow does not stand, but | |
he's the one now who's broken the vow and | |
354 | |
00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:03,070 | |
he gets punished by God. | |
355 | |
00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:05,110 | |
The curse is on him for breaking a vow. | |
356 | |
00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:10,390 | |
Now, I don't know about you, but doesn't this | |
chapter seem repetitive? | |
357 | |
00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:14,260 | |
Now, there's always a reason when God is repetitive. | |
358 | |
00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:18,910 | |
He's not just being repetitive because he | |
just wants to make the Bible a certain length | |
359 | |
00:22:18,909 --> 00:22:22,909 | |
and he's just trying to fill space and needed | |
more chapters. | |
360 | |
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:29,219 | |
If God repeats something, it means that it's | |
important and if God repeats something in | |
361 | |
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:33,320 | |
a bunch of slightly different ways, and saying | |
it a little differently over and over again, | |
362 | |
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:37,170 | |
a little different here, a little ... It's | |
because he doesn't want to be misunderstood, | |
363 | |
00:22:37,169 --> 00:22:42,059 | |
so he's going over it from a bunch of different | |
angles, just making it really clear to make | |
364 | |
00:22:42,059 --> 00:22:43,659 | |
sure that we understand. | |
365 | |
00:22:43,660 --> 00:22:46,190 | |
If it gets a whole chapter, it must be important. | |
366 | |
00:22:46,190 --> 00:22:49,710 | |
That tells me that it's pretty important to | |
God whether we keep our vows. | |
367 | |
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:51,630 | |
If you make a vow, you better keep it. | |
368 | |
00:22:51,630 --> 00:22:54,640 | |
There's a whole chapter just demanding that | |
you keep the vows. | |
369 | |
00:22:54,640 --> 00:23:00,410 | |
He says, if you're a father and you have a | |
daughter living at home or if you're a husband | |
370 | |
00:23:00,410 --> 00:23:06,240 | |
that has a wife, you have the power to either | |
establish or disannul your wife's vows in | |
371 | |
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,400 | |
the day that you hear them. | |
372 | |
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,060 | |
That's when you're supposed to disannul them | |
if you have a problem with them. | |
373 | |
00:23:12,059 --> 00:23:14,819 | |
If you do, it's all forgiven. | |
374 | |
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:17,190 | |
You're not in sin, she's not in sin. | |
375 | |
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:21,050 | |
The vow is as if it had never happened. | |
376 | |
00:23:21,049 --> 00:23:27,469 | |
But, if he does it later, if he waits a few | |
weeks or months and says, "I changed my mind," | |
377 | |
00:23:27,470 --> 00:23:32,600 | |
now he's the one who gets punished, but the | |
wife or daughter is still supposed to obey | |
378 | |
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,250 | |
the father or husband. | |
379 | |
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,250 | |
"Well, no. | |
380 | |
00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:36,250 | |
I vowed that. | |
381 | |
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,950 | |
You didn't disannul it in time." | |
382 | |
00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:38,950 | |
Well, no. | |
383 | |
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,370 | |
He's disannulling it, but he bears the sin. | |
384 | |
00:23:41,371 --> 00:23:42,711 | |
He bears the burden for that. | |
385 | |
00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:44,650 | |
That's what Verse Fifteen is teaching. | |
386 | |
00:23:44,650 --> 00:23:48,200 | |
Then it closes things up in Verse Sixteen | |
by saying: "These are the statutes which the | |
387 | |
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:55,000 | |
Lord commanded Moses between a man and his | |
wife, between the father and his daughter | |
388 | |
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,470 | |
being yet in her youth in her father's house." | |
389 | |
00:23:57,470 --> 00:24:02,900 | |
Now, what we see in this passage is there | |
possible phases of life. | |
390 | |
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:08,390 | |
We see first of all, the daughter who is living | |
at home in her father's house in her youth. | |
391 | |
00:24:08,390 --> 00:24:09,430 | |
That's one phase. | |
392 | |
00:24:09,430 --> 00:24:11,820 | |
Who's the authority in that situation? | |
393 | |
00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:13,600 | |
The father. | |
394 | |
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,860 | |
Then we see her as a married wife. | |
395 | |
00:24:15,860 --> 00:24:18,120 | |
Who's the authority in that situation? | |
396 | |
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,120 | |
Her husband. | |
397 | |
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:24,680 | |
Then we see a 3rd possible scenario that's | |
brought out of a woman whose husband has died | |
398 | |
00:24:24,679 --> 00:24:26,499 | |
or divorced her. | |
399 | |
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:33,560 | |
In that case, the Bible says, no one is going | |
to either establish or disannul her vows. | |
400 | |
00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:38,589 | |
If she makes a vow, it just stands because | |
at that point she's on her own. | |
401 | |
00:24:38,590 --> 00:24:42,420 | |
Now, the Bible does talk about a girl going | |
back and living in her father's house and | |
402 | |
00:24:42,419 --> 00:24:48,329 | |
being supported by her parents if her husband | |
dies or divorces her, but at that point, it's | |
403 | |
00:24:48,331 --> 00:24:54,601 | |
not the same structure of disannulling or | |
establishing vows. | |
404 | |
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,740 | |
That's what the Bible says in Numbers, Chapter | |
Thirty. | |
405 | |
00:24:56,740 --> 00:24:58,970 | |
You say, "Well, why does that matter?" | |
406 | |
00:24:58,970 --> 00:25:04,270 | |
Well, it matters because we should keep our | |
vows and of course one of the biggest vows | |
407 | |
00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:08,940 | |
we make in our life is when we vow to our | |
spouse when we get married. | |
408 | |
00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:13,420 | |
That's a vow that we're taking, but not only | |
that, and that's why, by the way, that's why | |
409 | |
00:25:13,419 --> 00:25:19,159 | |
we should be married publicly, to make sure | |
that everybody hears that vow and then you | |
410 | |
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,030 | |
say, "If anybody has any reason why these | |
two should not be joined together, speak now | |
411 | |
00:25:23,029 --> 00:25:24,139 | |
or forever hold your peace." | |
412 | |
00:25:24,140 --> 00:25:30,230 | |
Now, I'm not teaching some strange doctrine | |
that after people get married, dad can come | |
413 | |
00:25:30,230 --> 00:25:33,100 | |
in later and disannul, because here's the | |
thing. | |
414 | |
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:36,290 | |
When you get married, it's the husband who's | |
the new authority. | |
415 | |
00:25:36,290 --> 00:25:40,010 | |
If he disannuls it, that's called divorcing | |
your wife, that's wrong. | |
416 | |
00:25:40,010 --> 00:25:46,290 | |
The Bible says, God hateth ... Listen to me, | |
"The Lord God of Israel hateth putting away." | |
417 | |
00:25:46,290 --> 00:25:54,190 | |
He hates divorce, that's what Malachi, Chapter | |
Two teaches, so don't get mixed up on that. | |
418 | |
00:25:54,190 --> 00:25:58,350 | |
Why am I teaching this is this sermon about | |
where our loyalties should lie? | |
419 | |
00:25:58,350 --> 00:26:04,760 | |
What I'm showing you is that after the woman | |
gets married, her father ceases to become | |
420 | |
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,540 | |
the authority in her life. | |
421 | |
00:26:06,539 --> 00:26:10,509 | |
Does everybody see that? | |
422 | |
00:26:10,510 --> 00:26:14,660 | |
Her father ceases to be the authority in her | |
life. | |
423 | |
00:26:14,659 --> 00:26:20,319 | |
The husband is now the authority in her life, | |
not the father and not only that, but even | |
424 | |
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:25,410 | |
after the husband's dead, he doesn't have | |
the same authority that he had before. | |
425 | |
00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:31,039 | |
That should just make it clear to you that | |
the husband replaces the father as the authority | |
426 | |
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,550 | |
figure in her life. | |
427 | |
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:33,739 | |
Is there any doubt about that? | |
428 | |
00:26:33,740 --> 00:26:36,140 | |
It's a clear, it's an important teaching. | |
429 | |
00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:38,260 | |
You say, "Why is that important?" | |
430 | |
00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:46,900 | |
Because of the fact that one of the greatest | |
causes of marital strife in the world today | |
431 | |
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:48,460 | |
is meddling in-laws. | |
432 | |
00:26:48,460 --> 00:26:55,660 | |
If you look at a list of top ten marriage | |
problems, probably even top five marriage | |
433 | |
00:26:55,660 --> 00:26:59,010 | |
problems, you know what's always going to | |
be on that list? | |
434 | |
00:26:59,010 --> 00:27:00,100 | |
In-laws. | |
435 | |
00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:03,220 | |
When you get a list of just, hey, just name | |
the big five. | |
436 | |
00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:09,260 | |
Talk to a pastor who deals with people or | |
talk to just a statistician or just talk to | |
437 | |
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:15,120 | |
any kind of a family counselor or maybe a | |
judge that deals in divorces or something, | |
438 | |
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:17,260 | |
or a lawyer that deals with divorces. | |
439 | |
00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:22,320 | |
Anybody will tell you that is one of the top | |
marriage problems, because what are the marriage | |
440 | |
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,650 | |
problems that you're going to hear about? | |
441 | |
00:27:23,649 --> 00:27:26,059 | |
A big one is money. | |
442 | |
00:27:26,059 --> 00:27:29,619 | |
That's why it's so important what I preached | |
this morning about covetousness in regard | |
443 | |
00:27:29,620 --> 00:27:34,360 | |
to marriage, because money can be a big issue | |
in a marriage, financial problems. | |
444 | |
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:37,070 | |
What's another big issue that people have? | |
445 | |
00:27:37,070 --> 00:27:40,470 | |
Basically in-laws is right up there toward | |
the top. | |
446 | |
00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:44,370 | |
That's a major ... Another thing that's always | |
maybe a problem, in the bedroom. | |
447 | |
00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:46,990 | |
That's another thing that's high up on the | |
list with people. | |
448 | |
00:27:46,990 --> 00:27:47,990 | |
What else? | |
449 | |
00:27:47,990 --> 00:27:48,990 | |
Somebody help me out. | |
450 | |
00:27:48,990 --> 00:27:56,850 | |
Adultery, obviously, is a big one, adultery, | |
whether it's total adultery or just flirtation, | |
451 | |
00:27:56,850 --> 00:27:59,630 | |
flirting with adultery or whatever, right? | |
452 | |
00:27:59,630 --> 00:28:00,630 | |
What else? | |
453 | |
00:28:00,630 --> 00:28:01,630 | |
Somebody help me out. | |
454 | |
00:28:01,630 --> 00:28:03,490 | |
I don't have the list in front of me. | |
455 | |
00:28:03,490 --> 00:28:07,800 | |
Drug abuse, alcohol, obviously those are things | |
that can be damaging to a marriage, but if | |
456 | |
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:14,000 | |
you look at a list, the in-laws are pretty | |
high on the list for a reason. | |
457 | |
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,740 | |
Money, in-laws, adultery, these are the type | |
of things that destroy marriages. | |
458 | |
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:23,760 | |
Now, why are in-laws such a big issue? | |
459 | |
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,680 | |
Look, as a pastor, I can just tell you, people | |
come to me with marriage problems all the | |
460 | |
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:32,360 | |
time, and it's not usually people in our church. | |
461 | |
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:33,600 | |
Sometimes it is, obviously. | |
462 | |
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:40,720 | |
There are people that have issues, but because | |
my sermons are online, basically people from | |
463 | |
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:46,570 | |
all over the country and all over the world | |
will sometimes contact me with marriage problems | |
464 | |
00:28:46,570 --> 00:28:49,690 | |
or just trying to get advice and what do I | |
do? | |
465 | |
00:28:49,690 --> 00:28:55,440 | |
Usually I try to, if I can, because I sympathize | |
with people in their situation, I try to direct | |
466 | |
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,960 | |
them to a sermon or something that I've preached | |
that could help, or try to direct them to | |
467 | |
00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:04,080 | |
a scripture or something, but I hear as a | |
pastor ... When you're a pastor, people tell | |
468 | |
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,650 | |
you stuff. | |
469 | |
00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:08,630 | |
People just come to you and tell you all kinds | |
of stuff. | |
470 | |
00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:14,540 | |
You hear about problem after problem after | |
problem regarding in-laws. | |
471 | |
00:29:14,539 --> 00:29:20,889 | |
It's a major problem that people have, and | |
I'm constantly telling people the same advice. | |
472 | |
00:29:20,890 --> 00:29:25,940 | |
You need to put your spouse before your in-laws | |
and your family. | |
473 | |
00:29:25,940 --> 00:29:27,670 | |
You know what? | |
474 | |
00:29:27,669 --> 00:29:32,299 | |
Fathers of women need to be told that they're | |
not the boss anymore and they need to bug | |
475 | |
00:29:32,299 --> 00:29:35,929 | |
off and let the husband rule that home. | |
476 | |
00:29:35,929 --> 00:29:41,439 | |
That is what the Bible teaches and you know | |
what was one of the most wicked things that | |
477 | |
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:46,890 | |
is a tradition in our western culture that | |
you hear about all the time is this kind of | |
478 | |
00:29:46,890 --> 00:29:53,510 | |
a talk that a dad will have with this daughter, | |
where he basically says to her, "Now listen, | |
479 | |
00:29:53,510 --> 00:29:58,000 | |
honey, you know you can always come home to | |
us, don't you?" | |
480 | |
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,090 | |
You know what I'm talking about. | |
481 | |
00:29:59,090 --> 00:30:05,290 | |
"You know that if it doesn't work out, or | |
if there's problems, you just come ... You | |
482 | |
00:30:05,289 --> 00:30:10,379 | |
always have a place here, honey, to come and | |
bad-mouth your husband and to come talk crap | |
483 | |
00:30:10,380 --> 00:30:11,950 | |
about your husband. | |
484 | |
00:30:11,950 --> 00:30:13,060 | |
Just come and see us. | |
485 | |
00:30:13,060 --> 00:30:19,110 | |
The door's always open, and you can always | |
move back in with us, honey." | |
486 | |
00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:22,810 | |
That is wicked and disgusting and you know | |
what? | |
487 | |
00:30:22,809 --> 00:30:25,499 | |
I will never say that to any of my daughters. | |
488 | |
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:27,040 | |
You know what I'm going to say to my daughters? | |
489 | |
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,440 | |
I'm going to say, "Look, this is your husband. | |
490 | |
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:34,640 | |
I'm going to hand you off to him in that wedding, | |
and you belong to him now and you are to obey | |
491 | |
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:40,270 | |
him and your loyalty is to him, not me." | |
492 | |
00:30:40,270 --> 00:30:41,270 | |
That is biblical. | |
493 | |
00:30:41,270 --> 00:30:45,630 | |
That is the truth, and look, no man can serve | |
two masters. | |
494 | |
00:30:45,630 --> 00:30:50,630 | |
You can't sit there and have these two competing | |
authorities and parents who don't want to | |
495 | |
00:30:50,630 --> 00:30:52,880 | |
let go of their kids. | |
496 | |
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,480 | |
Now look, it's great to love your kids but | |
there comes a time when you have to cut the | |
497 | |
00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:03,400 | |
apron strings and when your son needs to leave | |
and cleave, and when your daughter needs to | |
498 | |
00:31:03,399 --> 00:31:06,379 | |
be handed off to the husband. | |
499 | |
00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:07,380 | |
You know what? | |
500 | |
00:31:07,380 --> 00:31:10,910 | |
If my ... I just want to tell this to my three | |
little daughters right now that are way too | |
501 | |
00:31:10,909 --> 00:31:15,449 | |
young to be even thinking about any of this, | |
I just want to say to my three daughters right | |
502 | |
00:31:15,450 --> 00:31:20,470 | |
now, "Don't ever come crying to me about your | |
husband, because I'm going to tell you to | |
503 | |
00:31:20,470 --> 00:31:27,010 | |
turn around and go submit yourself to your | |
husband and go obey him and submit to him | |
504 | |
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:33,470 | |
and I don't want to hear about it." | |
505 | |
00:31:33,470 --> 00:31:34,470 | |
That's true. | |
506 | |
00:31:34,470 --> 00:31:35,660 | |
That's right. | |
507 | |
00:31:35,659 --> 00:31:36,659 | |
You know what? | |
508 | |
00:31:36,659 --> 00:31:41,639 | |
A lot of marriages would be helped, a lot | |
of marriages would be saved if that were the | |
509 | |
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,150 | |
mentality. | |
510 | |
00:31:44,150 --> 00:31:50,130 | |
If the wives would ... It's like a cliché | |
of the wife goes crying to mommy and crying | |
511 | |
00:31:50,130 --> 00:31:51,130 | |
to daddy. | |
512 | |
00:31:51,130 --> 00:31:56,760 | |
No, she needs to suck it up and learn how | |
to submit and make that marriage work and | |
513 | |
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,240 | |
obey her husband. | |
514 | |
00:31:58,240 --> 00:31:59,240 | |
That's what the Bible says. | |
515 | |
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,680 | |
You say, "Well, oh, but what's this submit | |
and obey? | |
516 | |
00:32:02,679 --> 00:32:03,679 | |
What if he's a jerk? | |
517 | |
00:32:03,679 --> 00:32:04,679 | |
What if he's this?" | |
518 | |
00:32:04,679 --> 00:32:07,979 | |
Why'd you marry a jerk? | |
519 | |
00:32:07,980 --> 00:32:08,980 | |
You know what? | |
520 | |
00:32:08,980 --> 00:32:13,450 | |
My daughters aren't going to marry a jerk | |
because I'm going to kick his backside if | |
521 | |
00:32:13,450 --> 00:32:16,390 | |
he's a jerk - before the wedding. | |
522 | |
00:32:16,390 --> 00:32:19,160 | |
I'm not going to kick his butt after the wedding | |
because you know what? | |
523 | |
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,490 | |
It's none of my business after the wedding. | |
524 | |
00:32:22,490 --> 00:32:26,710 | |
Because she's not mine anymore, she's his | |
now. | |
525 | |
00:32:26,710 --> 00:32:29,770 | |
That's what the Bible teaches. | |
526 | |
00:32:29,770 --> 00:32:33,390 | |
Any butt kicking needs to happen before the | |
wedding, all right? | |
527 | |
00:32:33,390 --> 00:32:41,320 | |
That's the way it works, because you can't | |
sit there ... Look, if some guy wants to be | |
528 | |
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,520 | |
around my daughter that I don't want around | |
my daughter, he's not going to be around my | |
529 | |
00:32:45,519 --> 00:32:52,409 | |
daughter, because I'm going to be stronger | |
than him or I'll get a bigger stick. | |
530 | |
00:32:52,410 --> 00:32:54,710 | |
The bottom line is, you know what? | |
531 | |
00:32:54,710 --> 00:32:58,420 | |
After the wedding, people need to realize | |
it's over. | |
532 | |
00:32:58,419 --> 00:33:00,279 | |
You're done. | |
533 | |
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:05,100 | |
You had your chance to raise your child, and | |
to bring them up in the nurtured admonition | |
534 | |
00:33:05,100 --> 00:33:10,820 | |
of the Lord and to teach them and to guide | |
them and now you are passing that baton off | |
535 | |
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:17,340 | |
to hopefully a godly man, hopefully a worthy | |
man and you have to ... You're trusting him | |
536 | |
00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:19,340 | |
now with your daughter. | |
537 | |
00:33:19,340 --> 00:33:24,700 | |
Now it's up to him and I'm just telling you | |
that if you have adult children who come to | |
538 | |
00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:29,310 | |
you bad-mouthing their husband and, "Oh, come | |
on over, sweetie, stay at our house for a | |
539 | |
00:33:29,309 --> 00:33:30,309 | |
few days. | |
540 | |
00:33:30,309 --> 00:33:31,309 | |
You need some space." | |
541 | |
00:33:31,309 --> 00:33:36,469 | |
No, you need a swift kick in the pants is | |
what you need, and I'm talking to you, Dad. | |
542 | |
00:33:36,470 --> 00:33:38,780 | |
I'm talking to everybody involved. | |
543 | |
00:33:38,779 --> 00:33:40,859 | |
Everybody involved needs a kick in the pants. | |
544 | |
00:33:40,860 --> 00:33:50,360 | |
Well, the women shouldn't be in pants, so | |
that proves I was talking about the dad. | |
545 | |
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:54,980 | |
Bottom line is that meddling in-laws are destroying | |
marriages today. | |
546 | |
00:33:54,980 --> 00:33:55,980 | |
It's the truth. | |
547 | |
00:33:55,980 --> 00:34:01,100 | |
It's fact, because they provide that Plan | |
B also, that we talked about this morning | |
548 | |
00:34:01,100 --> 00:34:02,190 | |
that shouldn't exist. | |
549 | |
00:34:02,190 --> 00:34:05,230 | |
There shouldn't be a Plan B for a man or a | |
woman going into it. | |
550 | |
00:34:05,230 --> 00:34:10,340 | |
They should go into it as do or die, literally. | |
551 | |
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:15,380 | |
When in-laws get involved and they can cause | |
strife and friction, but not only ... That's | |
552 | |
00:34:15,380 --> 00:34:18,030 | |
kind of an extreme example. | |
553 | |
00:34:18,030 --> 00:34:21,350 | |
When the wife is going home and crying to | |
mom, and by the way, there was one woman who | |
554 | |
00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:22,950 | |
did that in the Bible that I can think of. | |
555 | |
00:34:22,950 --> 00:34:23,950 | |
I can only think of one. | |
556 | |
00:34:23,950 --> 00:34:25,540 | |
Does anybody remember who it was? | |
557 | |
00:34:25,540 --> 00:34:28,070 | |
It's a pretty bad story. | |
558 | |
00:34:28,070 --> 00:34:30,190 | |
It's a really bad story in the Bible. | |
559 | |
00:34:30,190 --> 00:34:31,730 | |
Does anybody remember? | |
560 | |
00:34:31,730 --> 00:34:35,760 | |
The woman who went home crying to Solomon? | |
561 | |
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,760 | |
What's that? | |
562 | |
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,380 | |
Yeah, that's true she did go home to dad, | |
too. | |
563 | |
00:34:38,379 --> 00:34:40,149 | |
That wasn't the one I was thinking of. | |
564 | |
00:34:40,149 --> 00:34:41,149 | |
Zipporah, okay. | |
565 | |
00:34:41,149 --> 00:34:46,599 | |
I was thinking of that woman in Judges Nineteen | |
that went home to dad. | |
566 | |
00:34:46,599 --> 00:34:53,349 | |
That didn't turn out so well, but anyway ... But | |
I'm saying that as in-laws, and I know our | |
567 | |
00:34:53,349 --> 00:34:57,739 | |
church is really young so we don't really | |
have a lot of people in our church that have | |
568 | |
00:34:57,740 --> 00:34:59,510 | |
adult children. | |
569 | |
00:34:59,510 --> 00:35:04,390 | |
We do have some, but most of the people in | |
our church are too young to have adult children. | |
570 | |
00:35:04,390 --> 00:35:09,540 | |
But you know, it's better to learn this now | |
than to learn it when you're already all emotional | |
571 | |
00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:11,980 | |
about it and you've already made dumb decisions. | |
572 | |
00:35:11,980 --> 00:35:16,090 | |
It's better to learn this when your child | |
is small and when your child is maybe a teenager | |
573 | |
00:35:16,090 --> 00:35:21,570 | |
or a little kid, that you're not going to | |
meddle in your children's marriage, and that | |
574 | |
00:35:21,570 --> 00:35:24,980 | |
you're going to let the husband be the boss | |
in that home. | |
575 | |
00:35:24,980 --> 00:35:29,570 | |
You're not going to step in, "Well, he shouldn't | |
be doing that, and he needs to do this, and | |
576 | |
00:35:29,570 --> 00:35:34,910 | |
you need to tell him this," and blah blah, | |
just usurping that authority. | |
577 | |
00:35:34,910 --> 00:35:37,160 | |
What does the Bible teach in Numbers Thirty? | |
578 | |
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,340 | |
Who's the boss after she gets married? | |
579 | |
00:35:39,339 --> 00:35:41,029 | |
Is Dad still the boss? | |
580 | |
00:35:41,030 --> 00:35:43,630 | |
Is he still disannulling sweetie-pie's vows? | |
581 | |
00:35:43,630 --> 00:35:44,630 | |
No. | |
582 | |
00:35:44,630 --> 00:35:46,100 | |
It's done. | |
583 | |
00:35:46,099 --> 00:35:49,909 | |
That's her husband's job now to make those | |
decisions and he doesn't have that right any | |
584 | |
00:35:49,910 --> 00:35:51,040 | |
longer. | |
585 | |
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:58,600 | |
Not only that extreme example of the girl | |
going home to Mama and crying to Daddy and, | |
586 | |
00:35:58,599 --> 00:36:02,899 | |
"Oh, he treats me so bad." | |
587 | |
00:36:02,900 --> 00:36:10,300 | |
Not only that, but also there are just other | |
situations that are less obvious, where there's | |
588 | |
00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:15,430 | |
a badmouthing of your spouse going on by your | |
family. | |
589 | |
00:36:15,430 --> 00:36:17,140 | |
This could go both male or female. | |
590 | |
00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:21,080 | |
This could be a husband who gets around his | |
family and they talk bad about his wife to | |
591 | |
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:22,079 | |
him. | |
592 | |
00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:23,079 | |
Let me tell you something. | |
593 | |
00:36:23,079 --> 00:36:27,809 | |
If my family would ever say anything bad about | |
my wife to me, I would immediately defend | |
594 | |
00:36:27,810 --> 00:36:32,370 | |
her and immediately take her side every time. | |
595 | |
00:36:32,369 --> 00:36:37,629 | |
I will side with my wife against you, and | |
I will side with my wife against family. | |
596 | |
00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:40,230 | |
I will not side with my wife against Jesus. | |
597 | |
00:36:40,230 --> 00:36:45,640 | |
That's the one that has our supreme loyalty, | |
but I would side with my wife against anybody | |
598 | |
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:46,640 | |
else. | |
599 | |
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:52,250 | |
I'm not going to throw my wife under the bus | |
to make family happy, and the same way goes | |
600 | |
00:36:52,250 --> 00:36:53,460 | |
for her. | |
601 | |
00:36:53,460 --> 00:36:57,750 | |
She should not tolerate people badmouthing | |
me unto her. | |
602 | |
00:36:57,750 --> 00:36:59,730 | |
"Well, your husband, blah, blah, blah." | |
603 | |
00:36:59,730 --> 00:37:01,390 | |
There are a lot of people who badmouth me | |
and her. | |
604 | |
00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:03,900 | |
I'm not saying in our family. | |
605 | |
00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:08,080 | |
I'm saying just in general, and my wife and | |
I, if we're going to be loyal to each other, | |
606 | |
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,320 | |
we should defend each other and stand up for | |
each other. | |
607 | |
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:17,390 | |
If you have to choose who you're going to | |
burn and if you have to choose which relationship | |
608 | |
00:37:17,390 --> 00:37:22,100 | |
is going to be harmed, you should always harm | |
the relationship other than your spouse. | |
609 | |
00:37:22,099 --> 00:37:27,739 | |
If you have to say goodbye to a friend because | |
of the fact that it's coming between you and | |
610 | |
00:37:27,740 --> 00:37:31,700 | |
your spouse, you need to say goodbye to that | |
friend if so need be. | |
611 | |
00:37:31,700 --> 00:37:36,140 | |
If you need to stay away from your family | |
for awhile, stay away from relatives for awhile, | |
612 | |
00:37:36,140 --> 00:37:40,650 | |
brothers and sisters, parents, because of | |
a conflict that it's causing between you and | |
613 | |
00:37:40,650 --> 00:37:42,760 | |
your spouse, you need to preserve your marriage. | |
614 | |
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:50,860 | |
I'm telling you, marriages today are an uphill | |
battle in our country, because of the fact | |
615 | |
00:37:50,859 --> 00:37:54,839 | |
that our culture has destroyed the institution | |
of marriage. | |
616 | |
00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,249 | |
It's hard for marriages to work anymore. | |
617 | |
00:37:57,250 --> 00:38:01,540 | |
That's why you see so much divorce and even | |
amongst marriages, you see a lot of unhappiness | |
618 | |
00:38:01,540 --> 00:38:07,650 | |
and strife and drama, because it's just hard | |
to have a godly marriage these days. | |
619 | |
00:38:07,650 --> 00:38:14,000 | |
It's important that you do everything you | |
can to make that job of having a good marriage | |
620 | |
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,450 | |
a little easier, not making it harder. | |
621 | |
00:38:17,450 --> 00:38:22,240 | |
When you allow extended family to create ... You | |
say, "Why are you talking about this?" | |
622 | |
00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:27,220 | |
Because tons of people have issues with this | |
all the time and I hear about it all the time. | |
623 | |
00:38:27,220 --> 00:38:32,080 | |
Those that are young married, newly married, | |
need this advice of saying, you know what? | |
624 | |
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:36,810 | |
The most important relationship is between | |
you and your spouse. | |
625 | |
00:38:36,810 --> 00:38:42,580 | |
If you have to ... If you need some space | |
from somebody, it needs to be from your parents, | |
626 | |
00:38:42,580 --> 00:38:47,510 | |
from your brothers and sisters, from friends. | |
627 | |
00:38:47,510 --> 00:38:52,810 | |
I would switch churches in a heartbeat before | |
I'd switch spouses. | |
628 | |
00:38:52,810 --> 00:38:57,410 | |
I mean, think about it. | |
629 | |
00:38:57,410 --> 00:38:58,440 | |
I would switch churches. | |
630 | |
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:04,170 | |
I'm not saying go to a bad church, but I would | |
switch to another Independent Fundamental | |
631 | |
00:39:04,170 --> 00:39:08,990 | |
Baptist Church, I'd switch to another church | |
that's a Bible preaching church if it would | |
632 | |
00:39:08,990 --> 00:39:14,840 | |
improve my relationship with my wife, and | |
if there was a problem somehow with that church, | |
633 | |
00:39:14,839 --> 00:39:15,999 | |
because I'm telling you. | |
634 | |
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:22,120 | |
Amongst my human relationships, I believe | |
that my number 1 relationship is with my wife. | |
635 | |
00:39:22,119 --> 00:39:29,199 | |
I'm going to put her first, amongst human | |
... Not before the Lord, but before human | |
636 | |
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:33,550 | |
relationships like church friends, or even | |
a church in general. | |
637 | |
00:39:33,550 --> 00:39:37,510 | |
I'm not saying I would ever get out of church, | |
because that would be coming between me and | |
638 | |
00:39:37,510 --> 00:39:38,510 | |
the Lord. | |
639 | |
00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:41,050 | |
I'd never get out of church, but I would even | |
switch churches. | |
640 | |
00:39:41,050 --> 00:39:45,750 | |
I would even separate from family, separate | |
from friends, before I ever separated from | |
641 | |
00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:50,500 | |
my spouse or before I ever allowed that to | |
destroy my marriage. | |
642 | |
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:55,990 | |
Just remember this, maybe it's not something | |
you're going through right now, but just remember, | |
643 | |
00:39:55,990 --> 00:40:01,970 | |
as you go through this long life, married | |
decades, spending all these years together, | |
644 | |
00:40:01,970 --> 00:40:07,470 | |
that when family is badmouthing your spouse, | |
you stick up for your spouse. | |
645 | |
00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:12,190 | |
When family is coming between you and your | |
spouse, you stick with your spouse, you cleave | |
646 | |
00:40:12,190 --> 00:40:14,330 | |
to your ... You leave them and you cleave | |
to your spouse. | |
647 | |
00:40:14,329 --> 00:40:22,299 | |
That's what the Bible says, and when you have | |
a situation where there's strife and friction, | |
648 | |
00:40:22,300 --> 00:40:28,600 | |
the people that need to be backed off from | |
are extended family or friendships, not your | |
649 | |
00:40:28,599 --> 00:40:29,719 | |
spouse. | |
650 | |
00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:34,480 | |
That should be the number one most important | |
relationship in your life. | |
651 | |
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:41,160 | |
On the flip-side, don't be that person who | |
tries to come between a husband and his wife. | |
652 | |
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,480 | |
That's a wicked place to be. | |
653 | |
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,480 | |
God hates those who sow discord among brethren. | |
654 | |
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:51,570 | |
How much more would God hate it if someone | |
were to step in and create marital strife | |
655 | |
00:40:51,569 --> 00:40:57,379 | |
and create a conflict where there was none | |
between husband and wife. | |
656 | |
00:40:57,380 --> 00:40:59,170 | |
This sermon's about loyalty. | |
657 | |
00:40:59,170 --> 00:41:02,120 | |
We should be loyal to the Lord. | |
658 | |
00:41:02,119 --> 00:41:03,939 | |
We should be loyal to our parents. | |
659 | |
00:41:03,940 --> 00:41:05,810 | |
We should be loyal to our friends. | |
660 | |
00:41:05,810 --> 00:41:12,210 | |
We should be loyal and faithful to brothers | |
and sisters and family and people, but where | |
661 | |
00:41:12,210 --> 00:41:16,350 | |
does our loyalty lie when it comes to a conflict? | |
662 | |
00:41:16,349 --> 00:41:23,099 | |
Well, it should always be the Lord first and | |
then secondly, stick with your spouse, and | |
663 | |
00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:31,500 | |
then thirdly after that is everybody else, | |
and sometimes all you can do is keep the Lord | |
664 | |
00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:33,910 | |
happy and your spouse happy. | |
665 | |
00:41:33,910 --> 00:41:39,450 | |
If you can do those two things, you've done | |
a lot and you just call it good. | |
666 | |
00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:41,430 | |
If you can keep some other people happy, great. | |
667 | |
00:41:41,430 --> 00:41:45,780 | |
Honestly, those are the two big ones in that | |
order. | |
668 | |
00:41:45,780 --> 00:41:50,950 | |
It's epidemic, the marriage problems that | |
are caused by people not minding their own | |
669 | |
00:41:50,950 --> 00:41:59,260 | |
business and getting involved in other people's | |
issues and not respecting the boundaries of | |
670 | |
00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:04,970 | |
marriage, and respecting that bond as being | |
the supreme bond outside of a relationship | |
671 | |
00:42:04,970 --> 00:42:05,970 | |
with the Lord. | |
672 | |
00:42:05,970 --> 00:42:07,220 | |
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. | |
673 | |
00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:09,870 | |
Father we thank you so much for being faithful | |
to us. | |
674 | |
00:42:09,870 --> 00:42:12,290 | |
We know that you're always faithful and loyal | |
to us. | |
675 | |
00:42:12,290 --> 00:42:14,510 | |
You'll never leave us nor forsake us. | |
676 | |
00:42:14,510 --> 00:42:20,810 | |
Lord, help us to show you the same courtesy | |
and also Lord, the wife or the husband that | |
677 | |
00:42:20,810 --> 00:42:25,430 | |
has been given to us, Lord, help us to be | |
loyal and faithful and true and to keep that | |
678 | |
00:42:25,430 --> 00:42:32,240 | |
vow and to realize, hey, that's the most important | |
relationship, not friends, not extended family. | |
679 | |
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:36,050 | |
We love our parents, we love our children, | |
but it's our spouse that should take number | |
680 | |
00:42:36,050 --> 00:42:38,120 | |
one place, Lord. | |
681 | |
00:42:38,119 --> 00:42:39,559 | |
Help us to be loyal to our friends. | |
682 | |
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:43,830 | |
Help us be loyal to everyone Lord, as much | |
as possible, but help us never to get these | |
683 | |
00:42:43,829 --> 00:42:51,219 | |
priorities out of whack, start choosing friends | |
over you, Lord, or choosing family over you, | |
684 | |
00:42:51,220 --> 00:42:55,470 | |
or choosing to side with our parents against | |
our spouse, or whatever, Lord. | |
685 | |
00:42:55,470 --> 00:42:56,940 | |
Help that to never take place. | |
686 | |
00:42:56,940 --> 00:42:57,940 | |
In Jesus' name we pray. | |
687 | |
00:42:57,940 --> 00:42:57,941 | |
Amen. |