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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
null | null | supernova1331 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338084877 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u6rmh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u6rmh | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u6rmh/tifu_complimented_one_of_the_girls_in_our_schools/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 43 | null | null | We were at Illinois High School Theaterfest (this happened a while back but I'm just now posting it). She had just got out of a horror movie makeup class and had plenty of fake injuries. I apologized profusely; she still hasn't spoken to me though. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Complimented one of the girls in our school's drama club on her fake self-injury makeup. The cuts were real. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u6rmh/tifu_complimented_one_of_the_girls_in_our_schools/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | AWildCharizard | null | None | null | null | null | 1338239782 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u99ah | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u99ah | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u99ah/tifu_when_trying_to_make_a_plushie/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | TIFU: I went to go use my Old as shit iron for this plush I am making of Big Macintosh, from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and as soon as I turned it on the lowest setting the damn thing turned into a blow torch in my hands, and I burnt my thumb. The connecting cord to the iron had just blown up, and I guess was spewing the electrical current everywhere and the spark made some sort of flame, and then before I could pull the plug or turn it off it stopped. Scared the shit out of me, and after a few moments of yanking the cord out of the wall and calming myself, I took it straight to the garbage. I am lucky not to have been electrocuted, or caught fire to my clothes or apartment.
Just figured I would share my fuck up for the day.
TLDR: I tried to use my iron for a plush I am making, and it turned into a blowtorch, and scared the shit out of me and burnt my thumb.
Thanks Reddit. <3
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU when trying to make a Plushie | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u99ah/tifu_when_trying_to_make_a_plushie/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | searspoop | null | None | null | null | null | 1338237778 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u97n0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u97n0 | null | 90 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u97n0/tifu_and_took_a_shit_in_searsbut_i_wasnt_in_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 415 | null | null | Today I enjoyed a nice coffee at home and departed for the mall. At the mall I had a chicken sandwich, with a packet of Texas Pete hot sauce; it was delicious. Not 15 minutes later, I'm standing in the electronics section of Sears, texting my friend. I feel a bit of warmth in my ass; I figure I have farted a bit and am feeling the warmth of the gas. I then realize that I also simultaneously heard a soft *plop*. Glancing over my shoulder I see a 4 inch diameter puddle of brown liquid, my 100% liquid shit. Assuming that the warmth in my ass is more shit, I rush to the bahtroom, which (thank god) was just around the corner and empty. It takes me fewer than 5 seconds to get to the restroom.
In the restroom I free my right leg from my wide legged cargo shorts, thankfully there is only a small smattering of liquid on my calf, which I wipe off. I also wipe a small dime-sized wet spot off of my fortunately black shorts. Sitting on the toilet now, I decide to try to shit, even though I don't feel like I have to. I proceed to diarrhea much more than expected. I wipe my wet ass and then start to decide what I should do. I can't just leave the shit there like [this person did](http://imgur.com/3aOVx.gif), can I?
Less than a minute has passed since the accident. This bathroom is only equipped with a blow dryer, so I grab a large wad of toilet paper and shove it in my pocket. I don't wash my hands, there's no time to waste and wet hands would just weaken the toilet paper. I exit the bathroom, determined to clean this up as quickly as possibe, but also determined not to fess up to it if someone was already cleaning. I definitley would have just kept walking if someone was there. Thankfully for everyone, nobody was there. I quickly stoop down and wipe the liquid up, it is almost entirely soaked up by the toilet paper. In my head I formulated a story saying that I accidentally spat some chewing tobacco spit out. Saying I had vomited after eating chocolate would probably have been a better excuse.
98.5% of the liquid is now in the toilet paper wad in my hands. I speed walk the 20 feet to the rest room, walking past two people whom I hope did not see any of this. I toss the wadded toilet paper in the toilet, and take another unexpected shit. I realize that while my legs, shoes, and shorts are clean, my boxers are not. They are wet. I ditch the boxers and throw them away in the trash can in the bathroom. I then take a slow, agonizing trip up the escalator, and promptly exit Sears. I'll never know if the announcements of "Jay, call 266" were in relation to my shit or not. Once completely clear of that half of the mall, I finish the text to my friend and enjoy the rest of my shopping commando.
**TL;DR** I shit on the floor of sears and cleaned it up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and took a shit in sears...but I wasn't in the
restroom. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u97n0/tifu_and_took_a_shit_in_searsbut_i_wasnt_in_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Zebedy | null | None | null | null | null | 1338230442 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u91ku | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u91ku | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u91ku/bike_wouldnt_start_pulled_every_fuse_swapped/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 18 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Bike wouldn't start, pulled every fuse, swapped every relay, uninstalled alarm, shorted out fuel pump, arranged pick up collection for feked ECU... flicked kill switch back on - oops!! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u91ku/bike_wouldnt_start_pulled_every_fuse_swapped/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | ShetlandJames | null | None | null | null | null | 1338220111 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u8tdm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u8tdm | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u8tdm/tifu_stopped_drunk_sex_midway_through_with_an/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU stopped drunk sex midway through with an attractive girl because I didn't feel we were being responsible. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u8tdm/tifu_stopped_drunk_sex_midway_through_with_an/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | OmnomoBoreos | null | None | null | null | null | 1338191533 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u8g26 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u8g26 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u8g26/tifu_because_i_left_my_galaxy_tab_7_in_seattle/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU because I Left my Galaxy Tab 7 in Seattle. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u8g26/tifu_because_i_left_my_galaxy_tab_7_in_seattle/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | calbalcrf80 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338184800 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u8cp3 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u8cp3 | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u8cp3/how_i_lost_my_father_180000_dollars/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | how i lost my father 180,000 dollars | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u8cp3/how_i_lost_my_father_180000_dollars/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | warrenlain | null | None | null | null | null | 1338181758 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u8asv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u8asv | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u8asv/tifu_did_not_realize_cupholders_in_cars_are_not/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 44 | null | null | Needless to say, there was milk all over my dashboard.
Since I just discovered TIFU, I thought I would be honest and say this happened 9 years ago. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Did not realize cupholders in cars are not for actual cups without lids. Looked down to grab this cup of milk to go with my brownie, and in making sure it did not spill, I rear-ended someone whilst going 30MPH. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u8asv/tifu_did_not_realize_cupholders_in_cars_are_not/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Mike_Hawksbigg | null | None | null | null | null | 1338175688 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u86j2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u86j2 | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u86j2/tifu_by_joing_reddit/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I can tell tonight is gonna be a long night guys. Good thing i dont go in till 4 tomorrow. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by joing reddit. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u86j2/tifu_by_joing_reddit/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | nobutreallybro | null | None | null | null | null | 1338175197 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u8666 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u8666 | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u8666/tifu_my_cover_letter_by_sending_it_with_a_typo_im/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 108 | null | null | I'm pretty sure that is an instant disqualifier. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my cover letter by sending it with a typo. I'm applying for an editorial position. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u8666/tifu_my_cover_letter_by_sending_it_with_a_typo_im/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | mmartinez42793 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338174401 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u85ly | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u85ly | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u85ly/tifu_my_subway_sandwich_and_drink_fell_on_road/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | I was coming back from Subway to my apartment, riding my bike with the bag that had the sandwich and soda in it. I had done this many times before with out any problems. To get to my apartment, you have to cross the street using the cross walk. So when traffic got stopped so I could cross the road I hear the soda fall out and skid on the road, and then the sandwich proceeded after that right in the middle of the damned road. The timer for the cross walk was ticking, and I was on a bike, and extremely embarrassed, so I kept going, leaving my dinner there to get run over. If I wanted to back I would had to dismount my bike and run back into the intersection, and the light would have turned green, so because of the and my deep embarrassment I left it there.
tl;dr My dinner fell onto the street, and I didn't pick it up | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, my Subway sandwich and drink fell on road, and left it there | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u85ly/tifu_my_subway_sandwich_and_drink_fell_on_road/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Helwyr | null | None | null | null | null | 1338167455 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u80lg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u80lg | null | 49 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u80lg/tifu_learned_the_hard_way_how_hot_icyhot_really_is/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 66 | null | null | I'm not gonna lie, I did it out of 80% curiosity, 20% an accident. I got what I thought was a small amount, and put it on myself in a nonsensitive area. That wasn't bad at all. In fact, I didn't really even feel it. So then I got to wondering, what would happen if I put a little bit on my balls? I'll tell you what happens- PAIN HAPPENS. For the first 15 seconds or so, it was a warm sensation that was a bit uncomfortable, but it was manageable. After that came a searing pain that can only be described as pouring lighter fluid on my junk and lighting a match. Immediately I started freaking out and ran to my shower, hoping that it it would feel better. I tried washing it off, but the damn stuff was already on my skin, so there wasn't much that I could do about it. I discovered that cold water made it feel a bit better, so I spent a good hour and a half in a freezing cold shower with my nuts on fire.
tldr: Icyhot burns like HELL in sensitive areas | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Learned the hard way how hot Icyhot really is | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u80lg/tifu_learned_the_hard_way_how_hot_icyhot_really_is/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | throwinglemons | null | None | null | null | null | 1338165871 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u7zg6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u7zg6 | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u7zg6/tifu_took_2_hits_of_acid_and_woke_up_in_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 24 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Took 2 hits of acid and woke up in the hospital because I had had a seizure. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u7zg6/tifu_took_2_hits_of_acid_and_woke_up_in_the/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338164837 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u7yr5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u7yr5 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u7yr5/tifu_my_little_brother_walked_in_on_my_girlfriend/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Was about to have some sexy timez when my brother walked in. The lights were off and she jumped down quickly under the covers. It was a close call, he didn't see since it was dark so he just thought we were kissing. That was a really close one. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Tifu: My little brother walked in on my girlfriend naked on top of me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u7yr5/tifu_my_little_brother_walked_in_on_my_girlfriend/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338335070 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ub6z9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ub6z9 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ub6z9/tifu_memorial_day_edition/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Technically this started yesterday. Went to an excellent Memorial Day barbecue, got pretty sauced, decided to go to the bar after. Proceeded to drink much more. Asked out a friend of mine that works at the bar, got turned down. Left the bar, shit my pants a little, shit the sidewalk a lot, lost my phone, then missed work today because instead of waking up at 8am, I woke up at 6pm. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - Memorial Day Edition | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ub6z9/tifu_memorial_day_edition/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | BearSole | null | None | null | null | null | 1338332577 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338423152 | null | False | null | ub4m2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ub4m2 | null | 26 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ub4m2/tifu_i_was_working_on_my_photoshop_portion_of_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 38 | null | null | Dunno what's gonna happen now, the teacher said "I won't count you off". I either get a 50 or 100 on the final. Grade is teetering on ambiguous wording.
Edit: I couldn't control+z it, as hard as I tried, because I accidentally closed the picture somehow and it wouldn't undo. Regardless of whether or not I deleted/closed it, whatever, I couldn't fix it or undo it and it still sucks.
Update: Teacher is the best ever, just passed out 100's to everybody in the class, including me. Sweet, I don't fail Photography :D | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, I was working on my Photoshop portion of my Photography final with 5 minutes left in class, and instead of deleting a layer, I deleted the entire picture. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ub4m2/tifu_i_was_working_on_my_photoshop_portion_of_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Zebedy | null | None | null | null | null | 1338332425 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ub4gs | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ub4gs | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ub4gs/tifu_by_putting_up_a_post_about_being_an_arse_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by putting up a post about being an arse and not putting TIFU at the start | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ub4gs/tifu_by_putting_up_a_post_about_being_an_arse_and/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | kinda_alone | null | None | null | null | null | 1338317995 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uaqlc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uaqlc | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uaqlc/tifu_roasted_some_peppers_ate_one_off_the_grill/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I decided to try a new recipe for roasting peppers today. Since I had never roasted peppers before, I could not tell if they were getting close to being done or not. So I decided to try one. My dumbass brain temporarily shut off and I ate one straight off the grill without letting it cool. My mouth immediately blistered, and I now can barely open it. It hurts. It fucking hurts.
**tl:dr** Ate a pepper before it cooled. Burnt the shit out of my mouth. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Roasted some peppers, ate one off the grill. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uaqlc/tifu_roasted_some_peppers_ate_one_off_the_grill/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sabertooth66 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338314724 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uanpi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uanpi | null | 121 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uanpi/tifu_fell_asleep_during_a_haircut_and_let_out_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 855 | null | null | I got let out of work early today so decided to get a haircut. Luckily the woman who has been cutting my hair for two years was there. She offered to wash my hair which I knew might knock me out, but it's my favorite part of a haircut.
Sure enough I fell asleep just long enough to accidentally let out an awful fart. Eating McDonald's for breakfast AND lunch is an unkind thing to do to your stomach. I woke up in time to see my hairdresser holding a hand over her mouth and gagging loudly. I still had no idea what was happening. But then I smelled it and knew what had happened. Within seconds she had puked all over the floor. The other woman working in the store came over to help her out but also started gagging at the sight of puke. They both went into the back room to gather themselves. I left her a tip for washing my hair and slipped out of the building as quickly as I could.
My hair was still wet, and I still need a haircut.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Fell asleep during a haircut and let out a terrible fart. Chaos ensued. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uanpi/tifu_fell_asleep_during_a_haircut_and_let_out_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338310718 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uak4x | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uak4x | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uak4x/tifu_end_of_high_school_drunken_fuck_up/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Well, I graduated high school a few days ago. Summer has just started. Last night I got a call from one of my buddies, inviting a bunch of friends and I to our usual spot in the woods where we chill. When I arrived I saw that we had a 5'th of rum, and some beer. I was really disappointed that there was no weed.( I'm not much of a drinker, but I'm no stranger to alcohol. I usually just toke.) So I'm drunk as fuck, and I realize I was supposed to be home an hour ago. I try telling my friends that I have to leave, but they refused to let me drive. I ended up sneaking away from them, and got in the car. I made the 10 minute drive home just fine. Its all a blur to me now. I came home confused as hell, and didn't know what to tell my parents. I had to use the bathroom. Somehow I found myself sitting on the floor in my parents closet, about to relieve myself... My dad got me up and pointed me to the bathroom. I'm still waiting for my father to get home, and tell me my punishment. I'm fucked.But I deserve whatever I get. I feel really fucking guilty. I could have killed someone last night driving. I could have killed myself. I'm an irresponsible little fuck. Usually I have a really good handle on myself, but I lost it last night. Reddit, Today I fucked up.
TLDR: Got wasted, drove home drunk as fuck, almost pooped in parents closet. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: End of high school drunken fuck up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uak4x/tifu_end_of_high_school_drunken_fuck_up/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338306865 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uagwu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uagwu | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uagwu/tifu_went_on_vacation_for_a_week_the_freezer_was/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Lets just say it doesn't smell pleasant in here. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Went on vacation for a week the freezer was left a little open chicken went bad. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uagwu/tifu_went_on_vacation_for_a_week_the_freezer_was/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338257133 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338608897 | null | False | null | u9n7y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u9n7y | null | 57 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u9n7y/tifu_fought_the_police_punched_a_man_in_the_face/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 93 | null | null | Deleted because as someone said this is more of a shit show than a fuck up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Fought the police, punched a man in the face, and attempted suicide | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u9n7y/tifu_fought_the_police_punched_a_man_in_the_face/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | thrwntllwy | null | None | null | null | null | 1338417993 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338418358 | null | False | null | ucv1q | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ucv1q | null | 30 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ucv1q/tifu_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl_ended_up/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 40 | null | null | Oh man, I have messed up.
So I met this girl about two weeks ago. She's *amazing*, truly, it's hard to believe that she's from the same planet as me. She seems to operate on a higher plane, and only floats down from her cloud from time to time to brighten the world for us mere mortals. Something else altogether.
She turned up in my world and I was bowled over. But straight away I went into self-defence mode, forbidding myself from falling for her, because there's just no point, she's utterly out of reach, and besides, every man and most of the women in town want her too, so what chance have I got?
Time passed and we found ourselves getting along more and more. She asked if we could have lunch together. Well lunch turned into dinner, and dinner turned into a lovely evening together. It was the first time we'd hung out with nobody else around, and it was really something special.
The end of the night came and I walked her home, bade her goodnight, and... we kissed. I could not believe my luck. I floated away ten feet tall and two feet off the ground. My head was full of dreams of a long and beautiful future together.
But the night was still young, and I knew my friends were out, so I went and joined them and partied.
In the crowd was another girl, who it turned out had had designs for me for some time. Let me tell you, she's no oil painting, and not exactly the life and soul of the party either. I ended up hammered and started thinking with the small head. She took advantage, and next thing you know, we're in bed.
I have no interest in this second girl at all. I just took the opportunity because it was there. In doing this I have probably screwed up everything with the angel, because she'll find out, and I'll be in the shit, and quite deservedly too. I've hurt two women by one act of idiocy. Not cool.
To use an analogy, I went out and dined on Wagyu steak, then stopped off at the burger van on the way home.
I am deeply ashamed of myself.
TIFU.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Had successful date with dream girl, ended up in bed with somebody else. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucv1q/tifu_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl_ended_up/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | IMSA | null | None | null | null | null | 1338413110 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ucqjh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ucqjh | null | 19 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ucqjh/please_just_shoot_me_whats_the_most_embarrassing/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Please Just Shoot Me. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done trying to get to know someone? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucqjh/please_just_shoot_me_whats_the_most_embarrassing/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | tngpnchfrtbx | null | None | null | null | null | 1338412464 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ucpxw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ucpxw | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ucpxw/at_my_staff_party/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | At my staff party | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucpxw/at_my_staff_party/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | dickblister | null | None | null | null | null | 1338409543 | null | None | self.tifu | 1339273391 | null | False | null | ucn3c | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ucn3c | null | 55 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ucn3c/tifu_by_having_to_refuse_a_booty_call_because_id/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 228 | null | null | As it says, we had a drunken get together, when I finally got in I thought I'd have a quick wank. My dick was obviously a little sore anyway an I've gone at it too hard.
Obviously I can't explain this to them, they'll probably just assume I have an infection (which I don't) so best to stay clear and hope I have the chance again.
FML.
UPDATE: It healed up in about 5 or so days to the point i'd be confident with it. Met up with her last night and had a great night/ morning together during which my dick performed admirably. Seeing her again soon.
Turns out [pillowplumper](http://www.reddit.com/user/pillowplumper) was right, thanks all for the advice and funny comments which made me laugh during the rather depressing evening when I turned her down! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by having to refuse a booty call because i'd blistered my dick wanking over the person who's just invited me over. The wank was after a drunken one night stand with this person. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucn3c/tifu_by_having_to_refuse_a_booty_call_because_id/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Xyncx | null | None | null | null | null | 1338408059 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ucllz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ucllz | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ucllz/tifu_elbowed_my_own_thumb_while_trying_to_look/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 4 | null | null | It was actually last night, but I had been drinking and didn't find out until today. I finished the can that I had been drinking and wanted to smash it, but being drunk, I smashed it with my elbow because it would look cool and make me seem like a badass. So, I did it, holding the can with my left hand. As my elbow made contact with the can, it propelled out to the side and I caught my own thumb instead. Today, my thumb is bruised and in a good bit of pain when I move it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Elbowed my own thumb while trying to look cool smashing a can. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucllz/tifu_elbowed_my_own_thumb_while_trying_to_look/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338390187 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uc6bz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uc6bz | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uc6bz/tifu_i_got_put_in_internal_excision_in_school_for/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I have a problem with wearing spare PE kit, I got into an argument with my PE teacher because I was not the only one refusing to wear the spare kit but I was the only one in trouble.
I got sent to IE where I got into another argument because I was annoyed and the teacher inside the class was having a go at me.
Needless to say, I have no lost my rights to become a mentor. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. I got put in Internal Excision in school for one lesson and I lost my entitlement as a mentor. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uc6bz/tifu_i_got_put_in_internal_excision_in_school_for/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | kentuckyfriedfish | null | None | null | null | null | 1338390116 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uc69i | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uc69i | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uc69i/tifu_by_drinking_an_entire_bottle_of_schnapps_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Also tried to work through it and drink some coffee to stay awake, except that resulted in almost no sleep and not much progress. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by drinking an entire bottle of schnapps the night before a final and an as yet uncompleted project are due. I have roughly four hours. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uc69i/tifu_by_drinking_an_entire_bottle_of_schnapps_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | throwawayyourdignity | null | None | null | null | null | 1338379390 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338427770 | null | False | null | ubzjc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ubzjc | null | 55 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ubzjc/tifu_i_took_liquid_paraffin_and_now_my_anus_is_an/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 95 | null | null | Two nights ago I took liquid paraffin (it's supposed to be a laxative, had a bit of trouble 'going') and the next morning there was still nothing. So I researched some more and took a slightly higher dosage as I figured I don't have work until the weekend, it'll be okay.
This morning I woke up and everything seemed fine, I ended up getting called into work as other employees were sick. I got to work and was half an hour into my shift when I noticed an odd feeling in my pants. I ignored it and let out some gas. It instantly felt like I shit my pants. I rushed to the toilet and pulled down my pants to this yellow liquid. I what the fucked for like five minutes before I realised I still had a few hours of my shift to go. The only solution I had to solve this problem was to shove toilet paper in my panties and hope for the best.
After I finished work, I went back to the bathroom and tried to poop. [This is all that came out](http://i.imgur.com/1IYm0.jpg)
It's been two days and I still haven't 'pooped'.
EDIT: I just woke up to three days of no poop and wow, so many comments! My most successful reddit post ever is on my throwaway and is a tifu post, yay! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I took liquid paraffin and now my anus is an uncontrollable leaking mess. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ubzjc/tifu_i_took_liquid_paraffin_and_now_my_anus_is_an/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338349747 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ubkom | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ubkom | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ubkom/tifu_urinated_in_a_police_cell_and_now_im_getting/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | I was having a farewell party at my house as we were moving into another one in the same city. At this party I found out that my GF had slept with another guy (a few months back) so I went a bit crazy due to the amount of alcohol I had consumed.
I walked down to her house and kicked in her windows. Chaos ensured, everyone at the party was going nuts. Police were called and I got taken down to the station and put in a cell. I was very calm and told them I accepted full responsibility for everything that happened. I wasn't getting charged for the window as her house-mates didn't want to press any charges against me, they were also at my party, and I told them I was going to break her window. I guess they took sympathy on me for all that happened, plus they knew this pretty much broke me.
Everything was fine, I was lying down in a cell just being held untill morning. Then some 18 year old kid comes in, he had just been in a fight. Comments are exchanged, then the police officer makes a joke about putting him in my cell and letting him bash me. I was like WTF you are corrupt you can't do shit like that. Then the officer and the kid made a joke about my GF cheating on me, so I was like all-right fuck it put him in here and ill fight him.
They were laughing at me and it sent me into a rage. I continuously punched the cell wall demanding they put him in my cell. I was so psyched up I didn't stop. They eventually moved me into another cell. As they were doing so they threw me in there, and an officer made a comment about my GF cheating because I had a small dick. I was like WTF and psyched up even more. This prick was provoking me.
There were tissues in the cell, a bubbler and a toilet. I got the tissues and put them in the sink and started flooding it. The police came in, took them out, threw me into the wall and walked out.
So what do I do? I take off my socks and flood it again. Boom thrown into the wall again. Socks are removed.
Does this stop me? No. I keep going. I flooded it with each shirt I was wearing, being thrown into the wall each time they came to remove my clothes from the sink. At one stage when I was pressed up against the wall I was just like stop this pussy ass pushing and just punch me if that's what you are trying to do.
Eventually I am left in only jeans, and am moved into a cell without water. The toilet didn't work, and I was still in a rage. The comment the officer made about me having a small dick was playing on my mind, so I took a piss all over the cell door. I yelled at the cop that if he is going to come in and throw me round again that he has to walk through my piss.
Officers came and got up me. The one that was provoking me, dropped my jacket in the piss and threw in on me. I picked it back up and threw it in his face. I was pushed into the wall..again. I actually said the line "were you bullied in school". Go TV. Anyway he called me gay and I went off at him because one of my house mates is gay. I was fuming and yelling all kinds of shit at him.
I was sick of all this so I held down the emergency button in the cell for at least half hour. Eventually the paramedics came. I was just broken. I was released in the morning.
I do however have to go to court in a month for damaging police property due to the piss I took while locked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, Urinated in a police cell and now I'm getting charged for damaging police property | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ubkom/tifu_urinated_in_a_police_cell_and_now_im_getting/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | dmw1987 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338506602 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uep2o | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uep2o | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uep2o/tifu_killed_the_job_interview_botched_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I've been unemployed and looking for writing work for the better part of the last year, and it wasn't till January I started getting some interviews. This past week I was brought in to interview for a research/data entry position. So far so good.
The interview itself went swimmingly. I shook hands and rubbed elbows with the corporate higher ups, each of whom seemed impressed by my qualifications. Even more impressive was how casual it all felt; there were several moments where we all shared a laugh, and I really seemed to give off the impression that I was somebody they'd enjoy having in the office.
This afternoon I received a follow-up email from the interviewer, asking me to research a few choice items via Google News. At first I felt like I nailed the assignment. Not only did I find all the answers, but I presented the information clearly and accurately, replete with multiple sources (which, I figured, beat just copying and pasting some answers from a search engine).
I get to the final question and it asks me to find the square footage to a manufacturing plant currently under construction in Florida. Intensively, I pore through the Internet for the answer, checking newspaper articles and even the plant's official website's annual expense reports, and I come back with 76,000 sq. ft. I cross-check this some more and find three or four sources confirming this number. So I jot it down, cite it and send it in.
Since I'm always scared of typos and minor-yet-major mistakes, I keep searching to see if 76,000 is the real number. Turns out the actual number, found in a press release from but a few hours ago, is 78,000. That made me rush to send another email correcting my error, and I explained that there were conflicting reports abound.
While I don't know if I lost the position because of this, I am fearing the worst, as I likely should. Now I'm kicking myself for siding with the most direct source as opposed to the most recent. Honestly, I know it's not the biggest deal, but I'm struggling to get by and this job seemed like such an ideal fit. I'm more disappointed in myself if anything. Really, it would appear my only hope is that the other candidates in the running botched the assignment even worse than me, but I doubt that will happen.
I have no problem not getting a job because someone else is more qualified. But losing out on a position because I was careless or at the very least, ignorant? Ouch.
(This is my first post, by the way. Hi.)
TL;DR Job interview went great, fucked up on follow-up assignment proving my incompetence and inability to do the work. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Killed the job interview, botched the follow-up assignment, likely killing my chances at landing the position. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uep2o/tifu_killed_the_job_interview_botched_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338505661 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ueo7g | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ueo7g | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ueo7g/tifu_i_blew_it_on_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I've been unemployed and looking for writing work for the better part of the last year, and it wasn't till January I started getting some interviews. This past week I was brought in to interview for a research/data entry position. So far so good.
The interview itself went swimmingly. I shook hands and rubbed elbows with the corporate higher ups, each of whom seemed impressed by my qualifications. Even more impressive was how casual it all felt; there were several moments where we all shared a laugh, and I really seemed to give off the impression that I was somebody they'd enjoy having in the office.
This afternoon I received a follow-up email from the interviewer, asking me to research a few choice items via Google News. At first I felt like I nailed the assignment. Not only did I find all the answers, but I presented the information clearly and accurately, replete with multiple sources (which, I figured, beat just copying and pasting some answers from a search engine).
I get to the final question and it asks me to find the square footage to a manufacturing plant currently under construction in Florida. Intensively, I pore through the Internet for the answer, checking newspaper articles and even the plant's official website's annual expense reports, and I come back with 76,000 sq. ft. I cross-check this some more and find three or four sources confirming this number. So I jot it down, cite it and send it in.
Since I'm always scared of typos and minor-yet-major mistakes, I keep searching to see if 76,000 is the real number. Turns out the actual number, found in a press release from but a few hours ago, is 78,000. That made me rush to send another email correcting my error, and I explained that there were conflicting reports abound.
While I don't know if I lost the position because of this, I am fearing the worst, as I likely should. Now I'm kicking myself for siding with the most direct source as opposed to the most recent. Honestly, I know it's not the biggest deal, but I'm struggling to get by and this job seemed like such an ideal fit. I'm more disappointed in myself if anything. Really, it would appear my only hope is that the other candidates in the running botched the assignment even worse than me, but I doubt that will happen.
I have no problem not getting a job because someone else is more qualified. But losing out on a position because I was careless or at the very least, ignorant? Ouch.
(This is my first post, by the way. Hi.)
TL;DR Job interview went great, fucked up on follow-up assignment proving my incompetence and inability to do the work. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I blew it on a | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ueo7g/tifu_i_blew_it_on_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | aprofondir | null | None | null | null | null | 1338503507 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338557917 | null | False | null | uembn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uembn | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uembn/tifu_slapped_my_physics_teacher_in_the_butt/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | Well, not today, but some days ago, I can't remember ; but now that I've got a computer I can put it on Reddit.
So, we had a test from Physics. Of course, I finished first, and I was packing my shit (and by that I don't mean fecal matter) and my pencil case was the last thing on the desk, so I picked it up and swinged it a bit, just casually, going around my desk, waiting for the other kids to fucking move. Little did I know, my teacher was right behind me, and it turns out I hit her in the ass with my fucking pencil case. I didn't see her. I was so embarrased and I tried not to talk with the teacher. I tried to say ''sorry'' but.. I was doomed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Slapped my Physics teacher in the butt accidentally.. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uembn/tifu_slapped_my_physics_teacher_in_the_butt/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Feel_likeasir | null | None | null | null | null | 1338501322 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uekdw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uekdw | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uekdw/tifu_my_date/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Tried to hold her hand but didn't have enough rapport and she shyed away. Now she won't answer my texts | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my date | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uekdw/tifu_my_date/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338495611 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uef1t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uef1t | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uef1t/tifu_on_reddit_by_attempting_to_post_the_top/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU on Reddit by attempting to post the top story on the front page after I just read it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uef1t/tifu_on_reddit_by_attempting_to_post_the_top/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | moonbutton | null | None | null | null | null | 1338493559 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338588022 | null | False | null | ued77 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ued77 | null | 187 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ued77/tifu_an_entire_restaurant/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 890 | null | null | I work as a waitress at my friends' family business, and I tend to bring in some wicked tips, but today I fucked up. How did I fuck up? I did not tie my shoes correctly and when I was parking at the restaurant one of the laces got stuck on the pedal and I stupidly tried to kick it off. That was when my truck crashed through the wall. Customers were sent running in every direction.
No one was hurt, but the restaurant is closed for the week while they make repairs. I'm not fired, but no tips until it is paid off.
**EDIT:** Because some questions and comments have come up more than others, I am going to address them in this short follow-up: when I broke through the wall, it was a wall that was mostly a window so all I really broke was some glass. The estimate for getting it fixed is pretty reasonable, and since I make minimum wage plus tips I offered to help pay for it as a measure of personal responsibility. Some people have mentioned a news reporting of this incident, but my little crash never went to the news, nor was it that explosive for the customers, so that report is just another unlucky restaurant.
Also, because I had not realized the stereotype when I first posted this, I am Asian, making my crash all the more hilarious. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU an entire restaurant. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ued77/tifu_an_entire_restaurant/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338492306 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338500017 | null | False | null | uebyu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uebyu | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uebyu/tifu_i_accidentally_added_my_crushs_friend_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | I feel like a stalker, it was a complete accident and they were together at the time I was just creeping on a check in. I don't know if they both saw the friend request, if only he saw it.. don't really understand why the guy subscribed to my page now? My life is kinda awkward.....
*Edit: Crush and I are kinda seeing each other, they were together at the time when I sent the accidental friend request. I immediately cancelled it so I don't know if it went through or not. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I accidentally added my crush's friend to facebook, tried to cancel it. Check back and they're subscribed to me now? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uebyu/tifu_i_accidentally_added_my_crushs_friend_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | BurningPixel | null | None | null | null | null | 1338490249 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338492266 | null | False | null | uea03 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uea03 | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uea03/tifu_failed_eyebrows_as_a_man/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | Well i was at the Barber today and just casually small-talked with the guy, so we were talking about him winning some style competitions and other stuff as he asked me if he should do my eyebrows. Just to clearify that, I'm Male 17 Years old straight and was all like well why the hell not?
BIG MISTAKE
I've never really plucket my eyebrows except for making sure they don't touch, and i thought that if a pro does it it should look good, shouldn't it? Well he shaved and plucked the living hell out of it so that nearly nothing is left. FML
TL;DR: Dumb decisions at the Barber left me nearly without eyebrows | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Failed Eyebrows, as a man | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uea03/tifu_failed_eyebrows_as_a_man/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338490121 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ue9w3 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ue9w3 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ue9w3/tifu_got_bitten_in_scrotum_by_mosquito/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | It's really itchy and the little spot has been there for a week now. I don't know how I or the mosquito managed to do this, but it certainly is very itchy. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | 'T'IFU: got bitten in scrotum by mosquito | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ue9w3/tifu_got_bitten_in_scrotum_by_mosquito/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | IMSA | null | None | null | null | null | 1338486962 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ue6yr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ue6yr | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ue6yr/tifu_please_just_shoot_me_whats_the_most/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | I’ll start,
Several years ago I was attending Portland State University and decided to take summer classes to get a jump on the following school year. During the summer many students living in Portland, but attending universities out of the area, would take summer classes at PSU for one reason or another so it was common to see many students wearing Oregon State, University of Washington, and so on sweat shirts around campus. One day I was in the cafeteria at lunch time and I got my daily large cup of coffee in a Styrofoam cup. I put a lid on the cup, grabbed a couple packets of sugar, and proceeded to find a table to sit at. Across the cafeteria sitting at a table all alone was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen wearing a green University Oregon sweatshirt studying an anthropology text book. Now I was rather shy at the time but I was instantly attracted to this girl and I just had to meet her. She had long blond hair, a beautiful face, long tanned legs accented by her white shorts, and even though she was wearing a sweatshirt it was evident she had a nice bust. As I approached the table I glanced at her ring finger on her left hand and it was bare so I assumed she was single. At that point I gathered every bit of nerve and courage I could muster and asked her if I could sit with her. She looked at me, then looked at the empty tables around us, looked at me again smiling and said yes. At this point I’m feeling pretty confident and we start to make a little small talk. So I’m sitting across from her, feeling really proud of myself for making the effort to meet her, and placed my coffee cup on the table in front of me. We continued to chat a little and she seemed to be enjoying my company. “Great” I thought to myself. I then proceeded to take the lid off my coffee cup and added the two packets of sugar while paying more attention to her than my coffee cup. I then put my plastic stir stick into my coffee to stir the sugar except the stir stick hit the side rather than the bottom of the cup. Instant disaster! When the stir stick hit the side of the Styrofoam cup, the cup fell over spilling 24 ounces of coffee all over the table, her books and writing tablet, a little on her fresh white shorts, and the remainder into my lap. She immediately jumped out of her chair to escape the coffee now spreading all over the table, slammed her book shut, and yelled “ you fucking asshole” loud enough for everyone in the cafeteria to hear which immediately drew everyone’s attention to what was going on. At that point she stomped out of the cafeteria leaving me at the table alone with a lap full of coffee and several students now laughing at me. Fuck! So there I am trying to figure out what I want to do next. I could sit there another 4 hours and wait for my coffee soaked Levies to dry or I could just leave. I decided to just put my tail between my legs and leave. I walked out of the cafeteria looking like I had pissed my pants to a roar of laughter. I never saw that girl again.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Please Just Shoot Me. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done trying to get to know someone?
| null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ue6yr/tifu_please_just_shoot_me_whats_the_most/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338478198 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | udz56 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_udz56 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/udz56/accidentally_walked_into_the_womens_restroom_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 4 | null | null | until I was sure everyone was gone. A group of strangers saw me walk out. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Accidentally walked into the womens restroom and hid in a cubicle for half an hour. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/udz56/accidentally_walked_into_the_womens_restroom_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | HeIsMyPossum | null | None | null | null | null | 1338471540 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | udu12 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_udu12 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/udu12/tifu_used_toothpaste_as_deodorant_and_deodorant/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | In a hurry, trying to do both at once. Placed the deodorant on toothbrush, and popped it into my mouth as I applied the toothpaste to my right armpit.
My mouth still tastes weird.
Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Used toothpaste as deodorant and deodorant as toothpaste. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/udu12/tifu_used_toothpaste_as_deodorant_and_deodorant/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | glook | null | None | null | null | null | 1338471045 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | udtob | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_udtob | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/udtob/tifu_by_running_git_reset_hard_in_my_development/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | I lost three weeks worth of uncommited development work. I have since read and learned many things that I should have done, but didn't. My boss is pissed because the uncommited stuff was supposed to go live two hours after I wasted it. I have no choice but to start over. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by running git reset --hard in my development directory to test undoing a commit. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/udtob/tifu_by_running_git_reset_hard_in_my_development/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | DeboothOxyodious | null | None | null | null | null | 1338438543 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338516878 | null | False | null | uddci | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uddci | null | 44 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uddci/tifu_got_bear_maced/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | I was out with my band, we were about to pick up pizza, just chillin on the side of the street. When this car pulls up beside us, and my friend Jarred goes to see what they want. Next thing you know hes got a can of bear mace 3 inches from his face and he got sprayed for a good 2-4 seconds directly in the face, so I ran in to pull him away and got it too. We both lost our eye sight temporarily. Too boot, I am the only one with first aid training, or who knows what to do, so I have to coach my friend through how to deal with this, blind, not able to breath, and through a shit ton of pain.
(I didnt know where else to post this sorry)
EDIT: Can=Car. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Got bear maced | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uddci/tifu_got_bear_maced/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Mrninjamonkey | null | None | null | null | null | 1338434753 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ud9y2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ud9y2 | null | 35 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ud9y2/tifu_parents_busted_me_for_smoking_pot_on_a_bluff/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | I have to give a little backstory here. My parents are by far the worst in trying to find the bad in people. They will go out of their way to spy on me and make sure I'm not doing anything they don't like. Anyways, last night I had been smoking pot with a few of my friends, one who was staying the night with me. All we did was toke up, ride to our local park, enjoy the playground, and then headed to a local outdoor mall. Me and my buddy came home around 11:30( I had told my parents I would be home at midnight before I left) and I went to bed thinking everything was ok. I had made sure the car was aired out even though we didn't smoke in it(never have, never will) and put in my sun shades. All of the sudden my parents barge in and tell me to report to their room(I'm fucked)They told me they were searching my car and that it reaked of pot. Me being the dumbass I am, I tried to convince them it didn't and got angry that they searched through my car for no reason. After much yelling, I just told them that I had been smoking pot, no use lying anyway. Turns out they had been bluffing that the car smelt of pot(but they really did search it, finding nothing). Now I'm being forced to work two jobs so I won't have time to "be a delinquent," chop my hair military style, not be allowed to see any friends until I go back to college, and just to be mean, they now will have surprise "inspections" for me which will include a drug test and a sniffer dog.
TL;DR Parents bluffed that my car smelled of weed, I told them I smoke, now I have to work two jobs and be subject to surprise drug inspections and drug tests until I go back to college. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: parents busted me for smoking pot on a bluff. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ud9y2/tifu_parents_busted_me_for_smoking_pot_on_a_bluff/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | amindatlarge | null | None | null | null | null | 1338423669 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uczwk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uczwk | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uczwk/tifu_i_faceplanted_whilst_drunk_and_gave_myself_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 3 | null | null | Technically two days ago, but on the drunk walk home from a friends house, i jumped a ditch, which i discovered the next morning was more like "waded through a ditch" based on the mud covering everything i was wearing, tripped, and fell flat on my face on the road. I got home with scrapes all over my forehead and nose, and what i assume is a mild concussion, because i don't remember much of yesterday at all. I have two job interviews coming up this week as well. Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I faceplanted whilst drunk and gave myself a concussion | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uczwk/tifu_i_faceplanted_whilst_drunk_and_gave_myself_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | booksandpowertools | null | None | null | null | null | 1338593278 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338594043 | null | False | null | ugeii | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugeii | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugeii/tifu_seared_my_index_finger_and_thumb_on_a_red/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | Day 5 of a very busy week installing air conditioners. I'm in a crawl space trying to braze in an evaporator coil, totally on autopilot and exhausted from three consecutive 12+ hour days. I braze in one side of an copper elbow (to those not familiar I heated a piece of copper up until sillfloss (soder) turns to liquid to fill joints). The other side pops out of the joint so I just fucking grabbed it.
*Facepalm in agony
It was all I could do to rip my now seared flesh off the pipe. Once I got outside and put it under a faucet I could clearly see flecks of copper in my skin. Spent the rest of the day trying to work with one hand while constantly changing out the ice I was putting in a bag and taping between my two fingers. So happy to be home so I can drink until I pass out.
edit: Pics: index starting to blister http://imgur.com/WBPk1,YTCUW ; and thumb http://imgur.com/Q9Kfc
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU seared my index finger and thumb on a red hot piece of copper | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugeii/tifu_seared_my_index_finger_and_thumb_on_a_red/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338592526 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugdyb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugdyb | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugdyb/seared_my_index_finger_and_thumb_on_a_redhot/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Day 5 of a very busy week installing air conditioners. I'm in a crawl space trying to braze in an evaporator coil, totally on autopilot and exhausted from three consecutive 12+ hour days. I braze in one side of an copper elbow (to those not familiar I heated a piece of copper up until sillfloss (soder) turns to liquid to fill joints). The other side pops out of the joint so I just fucking grabbed it.
*Facepalm in agony
It was all I could do to rip my now seared flesh off the pipe. Once I got outside and put it under a faucet I could clearly see flecks of copper in my skin. Spent the rest of the day trying to work with one hand while constantly changing out the ice I was putting in a bag and taping between my two fingers. So happy to be home so I can drink until I pass out.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Seared my index finger and thumb on a red-hot piece of copper. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugdyb/seared_my_index_finger_and_thumb_on_a_redhot/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ScrubTutor | null | None | null | null | null | 1338585184 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ug82p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ug82p | null | 29 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ug82p/tifu_i_realized_that_my_resume_with_which_i_have/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 189 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - I realized that my resume, with which I have applied unsuccessfully for 30 or 40 jobs, had my girlfriend's old phone number on it, and not my own. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ug82p/tifu_i_realized_that_my_resume_with_which_i_have/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | Metabilities | null | None | null | null | null | 1338584509 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338596868 | null | False | null | ug7hp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ug7hp | null | 153 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ug7hp/tifu_as_a_vegetarian_i_ate_a_giant_steak/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 408 | null | null | So, mega fuck up on my part today. I am 26 and have been vegetarian for health reasons (not ethical) for about 8 years. I rarely cheat, maybe once or twice a year when I'm craving protein, and I keep it very small, like a slice of bacon or two.
Well today, I had an ultra-monster-mecha craving for meat. It's been building up for weeks and I can't hold it any longer. Ok, so time to cheat, what should I have? I'll just get a little something at the local diner. When I look at the menu, however, the repressed caveman in me can't stop staring at the steaks. So I order one. A 14 oz sirloin.
Fast forward a few hours, once all the deliciousness is inside me, I realize what a huge mistake I've made. My intestines are trying frantically to keep up with what I've just done to them, and respond by opening the floodgates and letting it all out. Another bit of TMI for you, I also just happened to enjoy a bit of *ahem* backdoor action with the BF
last night. That makes is much more difficult to hold anything in that wants out IMMEDIATELY.
Unfortunately I am at work, and cannot go home for another 4 hours, so I have been back and forth to the bathroom every 10 minutes or so. My colleagues are starting to wonder. Also I'm pretty sure they can small it from the hallway. The worst is when I'm mid-flaming shit squirt and one of them walks in, forcing me to clench as hard as I can to keep it in for just....ten....seconds....please.... Nope.
I don't know how much longer this is going to continue, but I'm pretty sure the next 4 hours of will be spent in humiliating, ass reaming agony as I battle the anal leakage and try oh so hard not to shit my pants at work.
TIFU, Reddit. TIFU bad.
TL;DR- vegetarian + giant steak = fiery buttpee at work
EDIT: Fucking FINALLY time to go home! Thanks to MustardMcguff for the Kenny G and Mad Magazines idea, sounds rather sexy. I think I'll light some candles too, and then ass-piss to my heart's content long into the night... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: as a vegetarian I ate a giant steak | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ug7hp/tifu_as_a_vegetarian_i_ate_a_giant_steak/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Muricate | null | None | null | null | null | 1338580479 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ug3si | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ug3si | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ug3si/tifu_caught_with_pot/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Me, Circa yesterday, at school. Being the stoner that I am, I had just traded a cigarette for some amazing weed. Half an hour later, I decide to go outside, and look at my wonderful herb. As soon as, and I literally mean as soon as I pulled out said bag of weed, my planning teacher decides to open the door. I am holding the bag so I ball up my fist and put it in my pocket. We then have an at least ten minute conversation about what I just put in my pocket, with me ending up saying I was going home and it was none of her business. As I walked away, a joint fell out of my hoodie. She saw. I'm suspended.
TL;DR I ended up getting caught with weed
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Caught with pot | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ug3si/tifu_caught_with_pot/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | injakewetrust | null | None | null | null | null | 1338570127 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ufueq | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ufueq | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ufueq/tifu_by_getting_caught_cheating_on_my_exam/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Fuuuuckk I'm so pissed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by getting caught cheating on my exam. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ufueq/tifu_by_getting_caught_cheating_on_my_exam/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | aprofondir | null | None | null | null | null | 1338557704 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ufkw2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ufkw2 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ufkw2/tifu_by_causing_a_firefuckfest_at_my_friends_house/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | Well this was some weeks ago, but fuck it..Here's the story:
We wanted to make something to eat, like, desperately. So we found a website about making little sweet shit. I don't know how do you call it in English, you can call it LSS or maybe donuts but not quite. So, flour, yoghurt, oil and all the shit. We make the shit needed to make the shit (again I don't know the correct word so I use the universal word ''shit'') and the friend put it into the pot.. We have only made like two LSS's and my friend went to the other side of the room to check something and all the sudden...
''It's burning.''
''What?''
''OHMYGOD IT'S FUCKING BURNING! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!''
It was a big flame. What the fuck. My friend, out of the panic, didn't know what to do, so he fucking spitted in the pot, to fix the fire. But no, the fucking flame went apeshit and became even bigger, reaching the ceiling. I run to the other room because of all the fucking smoke, we couldn't breathe, so, what we did, we took some blankets and put them over our faces a la Al-Qaeda and tried to take the smoke out of the room, while trying to put the fire out. Eventually my friend, after fighting the fire with water for what seemed like hours in my head, put the fire out making a sound what I can best describe as heaven and hell colliding, a plane crashing into a steam train , and screams of a thousand souls being tortured. It was horrifying but at the same time I felt relieved. Later we were still trying to get the smoke out.
Later we figured out what was the cause of fire. Too much fucking sunflower oil.
All we said that day was ''That was STUPID. The stupidest thing we ever fucking did in our lives.''
P.S. To the creator of that fucking recipe: FUCK YOU. Yes, it's our fault, but still, FUCK YOU. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by causing a fire-fuckfest at my friend's house | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ufkw2/tifu_by_causing_a_firefuckfest_at_my_friends_house/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338553228 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338591181 | null | False | null | ufih8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ufih8 | null | 33 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ufih8/tifu_caused_4000_of_water_dam_with_a_cat/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 55 | null | null | My neighbors have a cat that I let into my house sometimes and give him water, then play. I went off to work today, and he was sitting in the living room. I didn't want to kick him out (it was raining), so I filled half a bucket of water and put it next to him so he could drink, then left. I cam home with the cat greeting me, then saw that the bucket was tipped over. It had spilled on my hardwood flooring and caused it to bloat and crack. The estimate for repair is about $4000...
Edit: Everyone seems to think this is fake. The hardwood floor is made from a specific type of wood. It's a very dark brown, almost black wood. The carpenters want to replace the whole rooms' flooring, saying that the water may have spread (hence the $4000). Also, to that one guy, cats DO drink out of buckets, I don't see how they can't reach inside. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Caused $4000 of water dam... with a cat | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ufih8/tifu_caused_4000_of_water_dam_with_a_cat/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338526376 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uf5xc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uf5xc | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uf5xc/tifu_posted_a_rage_comic_from_my_fb_news_feed_got/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I saw a comic on my fb feed a little while ago, then I saved it to my phone, after a while it was forgotten, until today I posted it on reddit, (turns out it was on 9gag before, never knew how many redditors go on 9gag) now I'm banned permanently from even commenting stuff on f7u12. FUCK! THAT WAS MY LIFE! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: posted a rage comic from my fb news feed, got banned from posting to f7u12. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uf5xc/tifu_posted_a_rage_comic_from_my_fb_news_feed_got/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338525156 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338957873 | null | False | null | uf538 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uf538 | null | 107 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uf538/tifu_got_caught_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 251 | null | null | Okay so I'm basically fucked. Let me get started on how badly I'm going to lose my job.
So today at work my boss was sick so he called in her daughter who is a year older than me to come in to help close. So she came in and we proceeded to get done clean up and the other workers left. I work in a grocery store by the way so nothing too special. Anyways I was getting my stuff from the back when she came back there and she started to get really touchy.
So this is where shit got hot and heavy and we proceeded to carry on, she blew me for a bit and then she asked if I had a condom. I had one in my car so I went out of the store, but I took the short way which was to open the loading door, at the time I thought nothing of it. So we finished up and she said she has been wanting to do that for a long time and next time we should make it even more kinkier and all over the store.
So this is where shit gets bad. I was driving home when I was thinking of how awesome it was, when the thought hit me. The alarm was set because we had locked up. So tomorrow my boss is going to get to work and see the alarm had gone off, and do what anyone would do. Watch the camera's. So I'm basically fucked.
TL;DR - I fucked my bosses daughter in his store, but was dumb and opened the garage door making an alarm go off. So now he is going to watch the camera's and see us.
EDIT 1: I don't work till Saturday. Next time I work with my Boss is Tuesday. I'm hoping he doesn't make a guest appearence anytime soon.
EDIT 2: The girl was cute, not hot. There is a difference. But a good difference.
EDIT 3: Talked to "Sally" today for two hours. She said she will try to delete a weeks time of video and if he does/has found out she will try to calm him down.
EDIT 4: Done work today and he said nothing. I think I'm in the clear :D :D | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Got Caught... At Work! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uf538/tifu_got_caught_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | strongbadiophage | null | None | null | null | null | 1338524584 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uf4md | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uf4md | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uf4md/tifu_by_making_a_facebook/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | At first I made it because this girl kept pressuring me to make one because she wanted to invite me to one of her parties through it. She is really nice so I obliged, but now I look back at what a stupid reason that was to make a Facebook. Why couldn't she just invite me in real life or something.
For the longest time I had vowed not to make a Facebook and be a part of this terrible trend where all kinds of stupidity transgresses. Now I have a ton of "friend requests" from people I don't even really talk to in real life. I didn't want this. I just wanted to keep this quiet so the girl could just invite me. How did so many people find out? She was the only one that knew and I can't imagine her going and telling a bunch of people.
And I am also pretty pissed that, whether I really want to or not in the end, I can't just delete the damn thing. I have to "deactivate" it. It probably isn't a big deal, but I hate the feeling of Facebook having some of my info and I can't just wipe it away. They will always have it and there's nothing I can go.
If you read this far thanks very much.
**TLDR**: Made a Facebook just so a friend can invite me to something, (what was I thinking?) I hate Facebook and vowed never to make one, I wanted to keep it quiet but somehow a bunch of people found out.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by making a Facebook | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uf4md/tifu_by_making_a_facebook/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | fragilebrokenmind | null | None | null | null | null | 1338509795 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uerrh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uerrh | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uerrh/tifu_phone_call/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Probably about an hour ago, I called the youth centre I used to volunteer at to say hello, and to thank one of the people who worker there for taking me in to her house, and giving me such hospitality. My exboyfriend and I used to work at the same youth centre, but since I heard he was in the process of moving, I didn't think he would be working there anymore. Go figure, I was wrong. As soon as I heard him answer the phone, I literally couldn't process words.. (Back story of exboyfriend and I: Broke up about a month ago, and he removed me from ever aspect if his life. Hence hearing from him equaled massive awkwardness.)
So, when I was on the phone with the worker, and who I wanted to speak to my words were all jumbled. I don't think I made any sense. By the end of it she clearly was very displeased with how the call went, so now I feel like an idiot for calling and wasting her time. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU ; Phone Call | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uerrh/tifu_phone_call/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Near122 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338677667 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338748533 | null | False | null | uhs6s | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uhs6s | null | 43 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uhs6s/well_tifu_by_breaking_my_boyfriends_leg/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 132 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Well Tifu by breaking my boyfriends leg | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uhs6s/well_tifu_by_breaking_my_boyfriends_leg/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338670053 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uhmuu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uhmuu | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uhmuu/tifu_my_instant_noodles_by_forgetting_the_put_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | My parents weren't at home, so I had to cook up some lunch by myself. After about 4 or 5 minutes, I smelled something burning so I turned off the microwave. After I opened it, a huge cloud of smoke billowed out and I realized that I didn't put in any water. It's been 4 hours, and it still smells like burnt noodles.
This is especially not okay because I'm an asian. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my instant noodles by forgetting the put the water in. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uhmuu/tifu_my_instant_noodles_by_forgetting_the_put_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Nodachidaimyo | null | None | null | null | null | 1338662888 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uhhbz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uhhbz | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uhhbz/tifu_i_poured_the_milk_before_the_cereal/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Worst mistake I made in my life. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I poured the milk before the cereal... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uhhbz/tifu_i_poured_the_milk_before_the_cereal/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Sh1bble | null | None | null | null | null | 1338633142 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uh193 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uh193 | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uh193/tifu_teabagged_a_sleeping_friend_and_was_dumb/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | Was my good friends 20th birthday and an old friend who i used to have feeling for punched me in the eye, knocked my glasses off and managed to full thrust her knuckle into my left eye socket, not wanting to kick off and ruin the atmosphere, I instead resorting to dropping my bollocks on her face while she was sleeping.
Looking back it's not one of my proudest things I've done to date, but figured it's still worth laughing over. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Teabagged a sleeping friend and was dumb
enough to let friends film it | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uh193/tifu_teabagged_a_sleeping_friend_and_was_dumb/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Thrashlee | null | None | null | null | null | 1338624866 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugyl6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugyl6 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugyl6/tmffushe_called_a_baby_at_work_hot_and_might_lose/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | She works in a supermarket and actually referred to an infant as hot. His mother overhead and placed a complaint about her to the manager. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TMFFU-She called a baby at work "hot" and might lose her job. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugyl6/tmffushe_called_a_baby_at_work_hot_and_might_lose/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Switchitis | null | None | null | null | null | 1338617411 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugv8m | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugv8m | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugv8m/tifu_only_made_it_2_minutes_into_my_road_trip/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 58 | null | null | I got a call from my best friends who live out of state saying they were coming back to our hometown, they invited me to come see them. So I seized the opportunity to reunite with them, I got my shit together and left my house. I stopped at the gas station a half mile away and payed for my gas, filled up the car, and drove off. A mile down the road I realized my wallet wasn't in my pocket. So I whipped a u-turn hauled ass back and interrogated every damned person in the gas station about my wallet. It's now gone forever, drivers license, insurance card, credit card, family pictures, and some cash.
TL:DR Made it 2 minutes into my road trip to see my lifelong best friends, lost my wallet, turned right back around and went home. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU only made it 2 minutes into my road trip. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugv8m/tifu_only_made_it_2_minutes_into_my_road_trip/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Oreopteris | null | None | null | null | null | 1338615258 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338615716 | null | False | null | ugtz1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugtz1 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugtz1/tifu_year_end_dance/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | well, today was my school's year end dance and I'm in eighth grade. I was partying hard. I was rocking to some techno and stuff when suddenly a slow song came on. A girl asked me to dance. She was really hot and had a good personality. I said yes and put my hands on her hips. She put her arms around my shoulders and we started to sway. I felt a sudden feeling and my shorts and thought "oh fuck abort!" I saw some of her friends looking at me funny. She pulled me closer to hug me, so I pulled back a little. It started to go away after a while, but I was still stuck after the slow song with a semi-erection so I had to go sit down. This is by far one of the most embarrassing moments of my life so far. I really liked her too. :/
TL;DR: Me at Year end dance, dances with girl, gets erection, embarrassed as fuck | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- Year end dance | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugtz1/tifu_year_end_dance/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338610731 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugr2u | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugr2u | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugr2u/tifu_and_almost_blew_up_an_apartment_building/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | So my brother and I got summer jobs as handymen for an apartment complex. We've been on the job a week, and today we were told to paint the floor of the basement laundry room.
We had to remove the machines from the room first, so we got to unplugging the machines. Washing machines are easy, so we did those first. Then we got to the dryers.
Before today I had no idea that there are dryers that use gas for heating. I thought they were all electric. So when I looked behind the machine I saw this thin yellow tube, and I thought "must be a water or air line. Let's unscrew it."
So I unscrew it. I smell gas instantly, and I dropped the gas line. My brother and I flipped out, and as I worked on getting the gas line back in my brother ran around the basement looking for the gas cutoff.
Nobody got hurt. But it could have been baaaaad. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and almost blew up an apartment building | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugr2u/tifu_and_almost_blew_up_an_apartment_building/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | theubster | null | None | null | null | null | 1338608038 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugp30 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugp30 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugp30/tifu_ruined_brand_new_entrance_to_a_ranchin_front/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 4 | null | null | I was working on wood-staining our new archway in a cherrypicker, and spilled two or three gallons of it on our new gleaming concrete entrance. Now there is a 20 foot diameter black/brown stain. I did this all in front of my boss. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: ruined brand new entrance to a ranch...in front of my boss | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugp30/tifu_ruined_brand_new_entrance_to_a_ranchin_front/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | cfsharp_ | null | None | null | null | null | 1338600071 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugjg5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugjg5 | null | 24 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugjg5/tifu_i_lit_my_kitchen_on_fire_with_a_potato/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 44 | null | null | Well, this happened yesterday, but here it is anyways. I was hungry as hell, so I decided to make a baked potato. Being the newly-independent post-college student that I am, I don't have an oven, so I couldn't actually bake the potato. So I decide to use the microwave. I put the potato on a plate, and put it in the microwave. Then I try to remember how long my dad told me to cook the potato when he was teaching me how to cook as a college student. I finally decided on 10 minutes. This was obviously a bad decision. After about 9 minutes of the potato cooking, the living room starts to get a bit hazy. (Living room and kitchen are connected, no door or anything.) So I decide to get up and check the potato. I walk into the kitchen and the damn potato is on fire. So I open the door to the microwave and pull out the plate. The paper plate. I set it down on the counter and go to open some windows. When I come back, the paper plate is aflame. "What the fuck," I think. So I poured a cup of water and put the plate out... Then called my dad and said "WHAT THE FUCK, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COOK BAKED POTATOES FOR 10 MINUTES IN THE MICROWAVE!?" He responded by saying "That's for four, you dumbass."
TL;DR I left a potato cooking in my microwave for 10 minutes, and it almost lit my kitchen on fire.
Also, the way the potato was burning was kind of like one of those smoke bombs, and it made a shit ton of smoke. Kind of funny now that I think about it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I lit my kitchen on fire... With a potato | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugjg5/tifu_i_lit_my_kitchen_on_fire_with_a_potato/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Graham1020 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338599461 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugj0e | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugj0e | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugj0e/tifu_ran_away_from_a_chihuahua/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | This was about 3 years ago, and I had this paper route for a local newspaper in my neighbourhood. I got my dad to drive me qround our neighbourhood in our van, and I would stand inside with the door open and when we got to a drive way, I would jump out and run down the driveway with a paper, drop it off and run back. We get to this one drive way, and it's super long. My dad stops and I hop out and start walking down the driveway. I get to the house, drop off the paper and start walking back. I hear a dog barking from the direction of the house ( by the way, I'm fucking terrified of dogs, like beyond what you can imagine. When i was a kid a big-ass dog came and barked at me or some shit, so I'm terrified) I turn around and look but don't see anything. I start walking a little faster. I hear the bark again and I turn around and see bulldog type thing on a chain come around the corner and bark at me. My vision wasn't great at the time because I had glasses and such. I start jogging back up to the car when I hear a second dog start barking. I'm like 80ish feet away when I turnaround and see this other dog come tearing around the corner. From the distance I thought it was another bulkeog thing and I'm fuckin terrified. I start sprinting as fast as I could up the drive way and the dog is closing in on me. I'm thinking that I'm gonna have to kick it in the face or something so it doesn't bite me. It's like 20 feet away and I'm like 20 feet from the car and I realise it's not a bulldog or anything. It's a chihuahua. I stopped running, it runs two circles around me, then runs back to the house. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Ran away from a chihuahua | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugj0e/tifu_ran_away_from_a_chihuahua/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338599215 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ugiu7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ugiu7 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ugiu7/i_lost_the_chance_to_get_my_old_girlfriend_back/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | today i was hanging out with an old girlfriend of mine and she was leading off some pretty strong flirtation hints to me. me, being the idiot i am, did not notice these hints or signals and acted completely normal. only a few minutes ago did i learn she wanted to kiss me and try to get back to see how it would work. how the fuck do i screw up this bad. i fucked up on a royal level and am still single | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | i lost the chance to get my old girlfriend back because of this. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ugiu7/i_lost_the_chance_to_get_my_old_girlfriend_back/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MrMOMOKINZ | null | None | null | null | null | 1338597712 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ughqf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ughqf | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ughqf/tifu_peeing_akwardly/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 44 | null | null | I was long boarding with my friend today. getting some footage, having some fun. Then this crazy need to pee hits me. I frantically ran around, looking for an appropriate spot to let the flow go.
after wandering in search of decent pee spot, i see an empty house. excited, i run up the driveway and into the backyard. i run up by a tree and pee for a good 30 seconds.
relieved, i re-zip and start to walk back to where we were, when i notice in the neighboring yard, a family, a little girl, a little boy, and their parents, were playing in the back yard, until they spotted me. we had an awkward stare off for about 5 seconds, while i slowly understood that they saw my peeing penis, and they slowly understood that i knew that they saw my peeing penis.
i proceeded to run back, laughing, but feeling very unnerved and embarrassed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- peeing akwardly | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ughqf/tifu_peeing_akwardly/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | NarcoticNarcosis | null | None | null | null | null | 1338763594 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338843953 | null | False | null | uj7f5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uj7f5 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uj7f5/tifu_lost_the_master_key_set_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 68 | null | null | I work as a housekeeper in the tourism/hospitality industry. I'm pretty new at it, and as such I'm not very good, but I've been getting better.
However, today as we were starting work, we discovered the master key set, the one that has keys for all the rooms, was missing. Since I had the set last, that makes them my responsibility, at least as far as I'm concerned. Pretty sure my bosses feel the same way. I'm absolutely certain I hung them up where they normally go, but we've gone through most of the rooms today, I've gone through all my stuff, and the other guy working here has gone through all of his stuff, and they're nowhere to be found.
I've already been having doubts about my ability to perform this job, but this pretty much seals the deal. I've created a huge breach in security that's going to cost quite a bit of money to fix, (new locks, new keys, new copies, etc.) and even if nothing bad happens, I've pretty much cemented myself as a liability. Regardless of the keys turning up or not, I'm incredibly close to resigning. The owners aren't actually making all that much money doing this, they live on the property, and I'm cutting into their livelihood. All I wanted was to do a good job and make some money over the summer.
OH, and to top this all off, I'm over 3,000 miles from home and have about $200 to my name. This is also the first job I've had in about a year.
**TLDR**
Lost keys to all the rooms that now have to be replaced and/or changed. First job in a year, 3,000 miles from home and pretty close to broke.
[UPDATE]:
Brought up the issue to my boss. He obviously wasn't happy about the fact, but he said he did appreciate my honestly and willingness to take responsibility. The keys are being replaced, and they original set will probably turn up eventually, seeing as how I never left the property with them. It's not a big place. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Lost the master key set at work. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uj7f5/tifu_lost_the_master_key_set_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338762040 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uj62l | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uj62l | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uj62l/tifu_i_got_extremely_drunk_and_threw_up_all_over/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 7 | null | null | I am only 16 and my parents are away for the weekend. After thinking, wow this is gonna be great, I figured that I should get some booze and get drunk for the fuck of it. Well I had a little too much to drink and I ended up waking up in a throwup covered living room. The couch, the carpets, everything had throwup on it. I have spent the last few hours cleaning that shit up and trying to make the throwup smell go away. It still smells and my parents are coming home in a few hours. I fucked up bad. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I got extremely drunk and threw up all over my living room | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uj62l/tifu_i_got_extremely_drunk_and_threw_up_all_over/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | gigermunit | null | None | null | null | null | 1338746888 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338780597 | null | False | null | uiu1f | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uiu1f | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uiu1f/tifu_and_now_have_a_large_scar_on_my_tailbone/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | I am about 125-130 pounds and my height is I suppose 5 foot 9 or 10.
I wanted to start getting in shape to gain some weight and muscle so I have been recently been working out every other day. My reason for working out was I was sick of being known as the skinny kid and I noticed my stomach didn't look as good as it once did, my way of fixing that was doing situps.
Now I usually work out in gym shorts on the ground or on a situp bench but I live in Florida and it's now summer so it's hot as hell and until this week gas was too expensive to go anywhere. I decided I would stay home and do my situps in my room on the rug, this was a bad idea, after hitting number 85 I felt this extremely warm spot on my ass. I thought nothing of it as I usually have problems sitting on the floor for long that makes my cheeks numb so I just checked it off as that and continued. When I hit 100 I felt this extremely sharp pain and took it as an indication I was done and something is horribly wrong. I went to touch the spot that hurt and felt something like a wet leather material sticking out of my lower back. I got a mirror and proceeded to check in the bathroom.
To much of my surprise I had not only rubbed my tailbone raw but under that I can only assume the friction from my situps caused me to burn a clearly indented defined hole on my right ass cheek next to the tailbone.
It has pained me to sit down for days now but I have put some numbing solution on it and cushioned myself when I sit with a jacket.
TL;DR: Wanted to work out my abs, ignored pain in lowerback, hit 100 situps and burned a hole on my ass cheek. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and now have a large scar on my tailbone | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uiu1f/tifu_and_now_have_a_large_scar_on_my_tailbone/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | TheAwesomeinator | null | None | null | null | null | 1338740915 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uipww | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uipww | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uipww/tifu_made_a_superinsensitive_status_about_a_dead/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Our first day of summer, we hear about a kindergartner who had just drowned. Sad, right? So now everyone's depressed about it, and I make a status whining about how everyone's depressed on the first day of summer because of this dead kid.
Now, I didn't realize at the time how insensitive that sounded. But earlier this morning, I finally realized how bad it was... after people had already started getting mad at me for it. "People" being most of my best friends. So now I've got most of my best friends mad at me, I feel like shit, and I'm constantly apologizing to people about it.
Honestly, this isn't as bad as some of the other stuff here, but I still dun fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Made a super-insensitive status about a dead kindergartner, riled up a bunch of people. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uipww/tifu_made_a_superinsensitive_status_about_a_dead/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338713822 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uieys | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uieys | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uieys/tifu_by_watching_grave_of_the_fireflies_just/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | That is *not* a happy movie. What do? D: | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by watching Grave of the Fireflies just before bed. Now I can't sleep for the imagery. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uieys/tifu_by_watching_grave_of_the_fireflies_just/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Brisaster | null | None | null | null | null | 1338705029 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338789316 | null | False | null | uibar | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uibar | null | 104 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uibar/tifu_caught_sex_skyping_by_grandma/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 278 | null | null | This happened about an hour ago. The setting is my grandma's house(and she has a disdain for me). I was Skyping this guy and things got a little hot and heavy. I was showing off my lady bits and he was jacking off. The house was quiet and I had assumed she had gone to bed. All of a sudden the door burst open and well, I'm shirtless. She's a very conservative woman and she didn't buy the "I was hot" excuse. She figured it out pretty swift but just gave me a lecture(thank the gods). She didn't see the screen though because I was moving it around(which just made her more suspicious) It's going to be a very awkward breakfast in the AM.
EDIT/UPDATE: It was indeed an awkward breakfast. She had made pancakes and she serves them to everyone but me. She looks at me and says "Troie non si ottiene la prima colazione." She's Italian but I've never heard her actually SPEAK it.. let alone an entire phrase. If you're wondering that translates into "Sluts don't get breakfast." I looked it up because I was confused, speaking none of it myself. Now, she's making roast beef later and says I can have some... I think she's trying to make a statement... Hey, at least I get to eat at all! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Caught sex skyping by grandma... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uibar/tifu_caught_sex_skyping_by_grandma/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338703310 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uiabr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uiabr | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uiabr/tifu_i_was_too_drunk_to_spend_my_last_night_with/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So my high school graduation was this morning, my family threw a party after at our house. The night after graduation, my school has a "grad night," from 7:30-4:30 A.M. I was not looking forward to spending that much time with all of these people, and I got sloshed at the party. I was visibly drunk, and my parents forbid me from going (understandably). This was going to be the last time I will ever see the majority of my class (~400 people)
TL;DR: Got too drunk, couldn't attend graduation celebration with my class. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I was too drunk to spend my last night with my fellow graduates. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uiabr/tifu_i_was_too_drunk_to_spend_my_last_night_with/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338699691 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ui82a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ui82a | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ui82a/tifu_by_posting_pictures_to_reddit_putting_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Well.....I wanted to make a harmless joke out of some pictures I found on Reddit from my college professor. I asked reddit for creative ways to have fun with them. I thought that by putting them on imgur it wouldn't be able to be back traced. I was wrong. FUCKING WRONG. Now some redditors are threatening to send them to the college. I'm freaking out now and wish I could go back 20 minutes and not do it......FUCK ME | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by posting pictures to reddit putting a professor 's job at stake. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ui82a/tifu_by_posting_pictures_to_reddit_putting_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338699117 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ui7pd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ui7pd | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ui7pd/there_goes_my_selfesteem/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Posted a picture online saying that I think im beautiful in my own way and that im happy with how I and my life have turned out. First comment I got was that I was ugly and had a terrible personality. Never should have posted the picture. -_- | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | There goes my self-esteem | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ui7pd/there_goes_my_selfesteem/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338689534 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ui0te | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ui0te | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ui0te/tifu_by_shitting_evrywhere/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So I just took on a taco salad and a two enchiladas at Taco Bell, then drank a beer. (I don't drink much, so this hammered me good) Got home and went to shit, and commenced taking one good push. Well I kinda forgot to put up the lid and shat all over it. I quickly noticed the warmth in my legs and out of fear of being asked about shit on the toilet by my GF ran to the bathtub liquid shit pouring, and dumped in there. Half-way through that i realized was going to stain brown spots on the tub, FUCK. Jumped out of the bath and cried on the ground (still drunk, cry easily)and finish shitting on the floor.
Now i spend the next hour or two cleaning liquid taco shit up.
**TL;DR** Got home after tacos drunk, commence shitting everywhere. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by shitting EVRYWHERE | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ui0te/tifu_by_shitting_evrywhere/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | fawkesmulder | null | None | null | null | null | 1338688948 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338698415 | null | False | null | ui0er | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ui0er | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ui0er/tifu_by_attempting_to_drink_79_cents/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 73 | null | null | I got about 20 minutes of sleep last night. I had to commute 2 hours for work in the early morning and 2 hours back. On the drive back home, I was deathly tired. I started falling asleep at the wheel, so I got off the freeway, pulled up to a gasoline station, and bought a 5 hour energy drink for $3.21, paying the clerk four $1 bills. I grabbed my change, and started walking back to my car while clumsily unwrapping the thin plastic membrane covering the screwtop.
When I reached my car, I unscrewed the lid, and brought my hand to my mouth, emptying its contents -- anticipating the putrid, yet invigorating liquid that would enable me to complete my journey back home.
I relaxed my throat muscles, preparing for the drink to pass through quickly.
You can guess what happened next.
Alas -- it was not the barely palatable yet effective liquid I had prepared myself for. What I tasted was the grime from thousands of hands, and not fluid...not even close. I choked, spraying most of the change over the asphalt.
I may have swallowed 2 cents because I only recovered 77.
tl;dr really tired, tried to drink my change instead of my energy drink. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by attempting to drink 79 cents | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ui0er/tifu_by_attempting_to_drink_79_cents/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | zfriderici | null | None | null | null | null | 1338685742 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338756592 | null | False | null | uhy3e | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uhy3e | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uhy3e/twifu_auditions_dyslexia_bad_time/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | The long and short of the matter is this: I was given a phone number to call this director at for an audition at a gig this summer...I called multiple times, only for it to go to an unidentified voicemail at the time. The event coordinator emails me today saying the director never heard from me; I check the number in the email. I'd been switching two of the digits in the number the entire time.
TL;DR may have lost a gig to dyslexia.
Edit: Called director, sent audition CD, will hear from him tomorrow. All might be well yet!
Edit 2: Got the gig after all. Everything went better than expected, eh? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | T(W)IFU: Auditions + Dyslexia = Bad time | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uhy3e/twifu_auditions_dyslexia_bad_time/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | thrwntllwy | null | None | null | null | null | 1338683993 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uhwuo | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uhwuo | null | 59 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uhwuo/tifupdate_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 153 | null | null | [Previous thread here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucv1q/tifu_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl_ended_up/)
Some people asked for an update, so here it is.
Well, I met up with her. Once we were sitting down, I said I had something to tell her, that she wasn't going to like it, and that if she never wanted me to come anywhere near her again, I'd understand.
I told her the whole story of what happened after I left her. She listened. She started to cry. She cursed me quietly in a language I don't understand. Then she called me all manner of idiots in English. She told me she had already found out, although she found it hard to believe, so she appreciated me having the balls to tell her myself.
I told her I had no reason to expect anything from her, but I hoped she could see past it, as I thought we were really onto something, and it would be a crying shame to stop before we've started.
And then, when we'd both said our piece, there was a pause. She looked at me, half-smiled, and calmly said "Well, it will make a good story to tell the grandchildren."
Told you she was something else.
It's going to be a slow and tricky road from here, and I've got a lot of work to do, but I think we might just make it.
Thanks for the support/abuse/jokes, everyone.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFUpdate: Had successful date with dream girl, ended up in bed with somebody else. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uhwuo/tifupdate_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Azethian1989 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338838404 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ukp1a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ukp1a | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ukp1a/tifu_broke_a_toilet_set_the_house_on_fire_jerked/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 65 | null | null | I recently found TIFU and decided I would tell the story of the most fucked up occurrences to ever happen to me over the course of a few days.
Let's start with the backstory. I live in South Carolina, I had a friend who was getting married soon and he had invited his fiancee down with her friends to have some fun.
Me and one of her friends hit it off and had some sex, fast forward two weeks and she says I should visit her in New York. I decided I would spend Spring Break with a buddy in Connecticut and then she would pick me up and bring me to her place in New York, then I would take a bus back.
So I get to New York all fine and great, this chick goes down on me in the car and I can tell she is ready to jump on a fence post. We get back to her place where she lives with her 3 roommates. They had spring break at a different time so they had class all day while I derped around the house during the day.
Day 1: We go to the grocery store to buy some food. I was tossing an orange up in the air and catching it while we were walking. I somehow managed to have it land perfectly on top of a sign down one of the rows and it broke the chain off, causing the sign to slam down into a row of food before breaking the other chain and dropping to the floor.
Day 2: We get drunk and have some fun and some of her roommates go to bed. It was the chick and one other roommate there talking about how much they hate another girl (Let's call her Debby). Well in my drunk state, I was like, "wouldn't it be funny is someone jerked off in her bed and rubbed it on her sheets?" We all laughed and said that would be hilarious. Well you know, its all fucking cool when were are drunk, but when I actually did it, I become a goddamn Satanic worshiper. They instantly disapproved, although they all laughed, and they just washed her sheets before she got back from class so she would never know.
Day 3: I decide to be cool and wake up early and cook breakfast. I started working on bacon and eggs while I had myself a bowl of cereal. My chick had woken up and asked me to help her move some boxes in her room. I put my bowl of cereal on top of the fridge for some reason and went to help her. Another roommate woke up and went to the fridge, the bowl fell on the ground and broke everywhere. This was unfortunate but still not that bad. I soon realized the bacon was burning because the fire alarm had gone off.
Evidently, on their campus, when a fire alarm goes off, everyone in the dorms, even separate dorms, have to walk outside until the emergency is fixed. So I got to stand there as easily 1000 people walked outside to see who fucked up. You could tell when the campus safety showed up that is was me >.<
Day 4: Even after all this, my chick and I were still on good terms and still having sex and such. Now I normally don't like to shit in other people's houses unless I know them pretty well and not just fucking them on the side, but I really had to go. I waited until everyone left for class and took a well deserved shit. It felt amazing to get all of it finally out. Soon enough, I was done and went to flush. The toilet started to overflow and I desperately tried to get it to stop. My shit then proceeded to start plopping on the floor and poopy water ran over the side of the toilet. They did not have a plunger so I used the internet to try to figure out ways to unclog the toilet before they get back. I tried a hanger, pouring hot water into the toilet, putting my hands in trash bags and just digging in there, I was freaking out. I finally had to go asking around for a plunger and was delighted to see everyone was back home when I got back and was talking about how I shit all over the floor.
By this time everyone was kind of done with me and made the rest of the day as awkward as possible. I went to the Bus Agency later that afternoon to get my ticket changed for the next day and left very early in the morning without saying a word.
TL;DR I met a chick, visited her, broke signs, jerked off on a girls bed, clogged toilet, set house on fire, and snuck out. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Broke a toilet, Set the house on fire, Jerked off in another girls bed and wiped it on her sheets, knocked down a sign at a grocery store, took a long bus ride back to Connecticut. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ukp1a/tifu_broke_a_toilet_set_the_house_on_fire_jerked/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MrGoldenVoice | null | None | null | null | null | 1338836183 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ukmtf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ukmtf | null | 79 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ukmtf/tifu_how_i_got_fired_from_my_first_job/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 130 | null | null | This was about a year ago but I was not a Redditor at the time. So, let's time-travel back one year, shall we? Okay. I worked as a Head Cashier at a local farm goods store. One of the products that the store is really careful of is Glyphosate. What Glyposate is, is a liquid fertilizer that farmers use, and they protect this shit like gold. Freeze frame. We'll come back to this.
Two days prior: I had unfortunately ended the longest relationship I've had with a girl. Six months to be exact. The same girl whom I lost my virginity to and took to Senior Prom. Not exactly a good way to spend your 4th of July.
Okay, back to work: I'm already in a depressed mood because of the breakup, so I'm in somewhat of a mental fog. A gentleman comes in with a big pushcart carrying 15 cases of Glyphosate. Our checkout technology is advanced enough to where I can scan one item and then just enter how many items the person actually has of that product. I thought I had typed in 15, but instead typed in 1. The farmer walked out of the store with over $500, yes, over $500 worth of free glyphosate. Just an hour later, the manager calls me into his office and tells me about what happened, and that I was subsequently fired. Because of the firing, I have had to forego spending all 4 years at the college of my dreams, and start at a community college. (No disrespect to the CC, just not how I envisioned my college years.) I was also making a dollar over minimum wage. So paychecks were never better. Feels bad man.
TL;DR Got complacent, screwed up a huge purchase, cost the store 500 bucks, and got fired. Feelsbadman | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: How I Got Fired From My First Job | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ukmtf/tifu_how_i_got_fired_from_my_first_job/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | grammarpinhead | null | None | null | null | null | 1338832274 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ukiwg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ukiwg | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ukiwg/tifu_was_supposed_to_pin_something_to_the_company/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 76 | null | null | background: i work for a company that produces educational supplemental workbooks for grades K–8. i was supposed to link the pin to a blog post about finding patterns in shapes and numbers. instead, it linked to this:
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pko20/
(which i created as a gag for this thread: http://www.reddit.com/r/bicycling/comments/uirt4/new_bike_post_just_took_this_beast_on_her_first/)
i've been experimenting with pinning at different times to see when we can get the most repins, so i posted at 6 a.m. ... which means a) i was half asleep when i did it, and b) it linked to the berks meme for almost 8 hours. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: was supposed to pin something to the company pinterest that linked to the work blog; instead, i linked it to a berks meme. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ukiwg/tifu_was_supposed_to_pin_something_to_the_company/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | betadan | null | None | null | null | null | 1338813828 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | uk405 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_uk405 | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/uk405/tifu_how_i_broke_a_bathroom_i_wasnt_using/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 51 | null | null | The following story did not occur today. However I just found TIFU.
A little insight may help explain how this happened. As far back as I can remember I have never handled humidity very well. Sadly I have never outgrown this.
So here begins my story. It was a humid and cloudy day. I was helping a friend and his family move. All went well during the move. However...
After pizza was eaten I felt a rumbling in my stomach. It was the kind that I usually get when I have eaten greasy food on a day like this.
I asked to use the bathroom (there was no time to make it home), and was advised to use the upstairs bathroom. This was one of the most epic craps I had ever taken, This was a triple flusher. As I am flushing for the third time I hear "STOP FLUSHING". I went white. I washed up, luckily I had no need for a fourth flush. When I arrived down stairs I was advised that the downstairs bathroom toilet was overflowing. There was crap everywhere, my crap to be exact.
The only reason they knew it was overflowing was because their 5 year old was asking for towels to use in the now broken bathroom. did I mention that said bathroom was carpeted.
I felt so horrible. Of course I offered to pay for any repairs.
About a week later I was talking with my friend, It turns out that the plumber they hired found literally years of built up "waste" in the pipes. Since this was the case the landlord had to pay for the whole thing as it would have happened sooner rather than later.
Sadly though, I was still "that guy" | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: How I broke a bathroom I wasn't using. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/uk405/tifu_how_i_broke_a_bathroom_i_wasnt_using/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Switchitis | null | None | null | null | null | 1338792205 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338852657 | null | False | null | ujuqp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ujuqp | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ujuqp/tifu_took_a_shot_up_dish_soap/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 21 | null | null | My friend is visiting from Washington and we headed home to drink and hang out for a while. After getting there we pulled out about 10 bottles of alcohol and decided what to try first. I pour myself a shot of some pink fruity smelling hard alcohol and faced it. I realized once I swallowed it that it wasn't actually alcohol, it was pink dish soap in a tequila bottle. Proceeded to throw up in her sink and rinse my face hole out with hot water.
Bottle of "alcohol" I drank from : http://imgur.com/Km5C3
TLDR: Friends parents keep dish soap in a tequila bottle and I took a shot of it.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Took a shot up dish soap. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ujuqp/tifu_took_a_shot_up_dish_soap/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338789204 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ujsyk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ujsyk | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ujsyk/i_left_my_fleshlight_on_the_hotel_bathroom_sink/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I stay here all the time and I'm gonna have to leave big tips everyday to compensate for my shame. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | I left my fleshlight on the hotel bathroom sink and the maid moved it when she cleaned | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ujsyk/i_left_my_fleshlight_on_the_hotel_bathroom_sink/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338789160 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338794337 | null | False | null | ujsx6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ujsx6 | null | 92 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ujsx6/tifu_ruined_a_friends_21st_birthday_party/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 306 | null | null | So today saw a friend of mine, we'll call him Jay, turn 21. His family had organised a party, renting out a social club, putting on a DJ, food and whatnot. It was a good party until I fucked up big time and was pretty much forced to make a quick exit.
You see, while a load of Jay's friends had been invited, it was predominantly a family gathering. All sorts of aunties, uncles, cousins, family friends and so on. It was a fancy dress party, too - inconsequential to the story, but the fact that I was dressed as Buzz Lightyear (complete with foam wings!) definitely adds a certain element to the scene that unfolded...
Now, Jay is the drummer in a band, he's really into music and is quite talented, as such his parents had made an awesome cake, styled to look like a snare drum. It was unveiled on a table in front of the stage to many oohs and ahhs, this cake was damn impressive!
Eventually, as the evening progressed and we all got steadily drunk, the party was pretty dull with it being a family event, so me and a few of my friends decided to head to the dance floor. The dance floor was in front of the stage, which, if you remember, is where the cake was placed on a table. Everything was fine, everyone having a good time and having a little dance, when my inebriated self decided it was time to step up the dancing game; I crack out my best moves. More people start getting involved and coming over to the dance floor, as I decide for the old favourite - the worm.
But the worm, you see, wasn't a great idea. For as I did it, I moved steadily backwards, feet first, toward the table. Then, with one almighty thrust of my body, I booted the table from underneath.
I didn't get to see the flight in all its glory, as I was facing the other way, but I'm told the cake was graceful in its short-lived airborne experience. What I did see though, was the utterly ruined cake on the floor. Splattered. Unsalvagable. Smeared across the ground. It had easily dropped 6 foot, flipping over as it went.
Jay's parents weren't very happy with me, as you can understand, and within about 5 minutes it'd become quite apparent that I was no longer welcome, so off I went. Jay's mother was crying at this point. Erk.
Anyway, I've since spoken to Jay, and he's fine with me, appreciates that it was an accident and that having the cake even near the dance floor was stupid to begin with. But he also advised I avoid his parents for a little while, apparently they're pretty pissed. Turned out that they wanted it to be a family event, as they were scared that his 'crazy friends would mess things up'. I was that guy.
So there you go. That's how I fucked up today.
**TL;DR:** ***Booted a birthday cake while dressed as Buzz Lightyear, bailed.*** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Ruined a friend's 21st Birthday Party | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ujsx6/tifu_ruined_a_friends_21st_birthday_party/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338775341 | null | None | self.tifu | 1343758680 | null | False | null | ujhdg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ujhdg | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ujhdg/tifuhad_a_minor_slipofthetongue_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I work at a library and almost everybody there is very informal with each other and the patrons a great majority of the time (we'll say "What's up?", joke around in front of/with patrons/each other, and we're just generally laid back). We have some pretty cool regulars, some we can't stand, and some we don't think anyone else can stand--this usually means the patrons with massive body odor, consistently bad manners and/or tendencies to be disruptive. Today I dealt with many people in the first and one in the third category.
I'm a "tech" and I normally work at my own little area by our computer lab, where I troubleshoot and set up patrons' cards so they can use the computers. After handing back the card of a particularly malodorous patron I promptly went up to the librarian's (my boss for the day) desk, while she was looking up book titles across from a young child I had previously helped about an hour before, and our exchange went something like this:
Me: Hey, Krista! Is there any hand sanitizer up here?
Krista: Uhh no I don't think so, sorry.
Me: Oh okay then. Well I just dealt with a particularly stinky patron, is it okay if I go wash my hands?
She just about fell over her keyboard trying to hide a rapidly widening grin, turned her head to me and whispered something like "You're not supposed to say that about a patron while one's right there! Yes, you can wash your hands." I promptly went to the back and washed up, and just as I was walking away from the bathroom she lectured me on how unprofessional it sounds if we all talked about patrons we dislike in front of *any* other patrons. I agreed and acknowledged a lesson well learned (I never told her I *do* know that), but other than that the rest of the day went along smoothly. I've been off the clock for five hours now and I am still laughing about it! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU--Had a minor slip-of-the-tongue at work. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ujhdg/tifuhad_a_minor_slipofthetongue_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | notarapist72 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338769711 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ujcjl | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ujcjl | null | 26 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ujcjl/tifu_at_an_intersection_doing_90_kmh/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 33 | null | null | http://i.imgur.com/zpThE.jpg | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU at an intersection doing 90 km/h | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ujcjl/tifu_at_an_intersection_doing_90_kmh/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338935070 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | umubc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_umubc | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/umubc/tifu_insulted_a_potential_client/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I have recently decided to become an independently run private vocal instructor. I have a small number of students and am always very willing to take on new students. I was very excited when I saw an unknown number come up on my cell phone this morning and a woman on the other line named what I thought was "Trish" who wanted lesson for her son and daughter. I ecstatically set up a meeting for our first lesson and I ended the conversation with "Thank you, Trish. See you on Tuesday!" She then responded by saying "My name is Charles. I'm their dad." I immediately froze and stumbled my way into an apology, but he was clearly irritated and insulted that I had called him a woman. I truly felt awful, but even after I knew he was a man, his voice still sounded feminine to me. I apologized... but hopefully that's enough for him to still want his kids to learn from me.
TL;DR: Set up voice lessons for a woman's children... Thanked the woman... turns out she was actually a man. Hopefully I didn't lose a client. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Insulted a potential client | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/umubc/tifu_insulted_a_potential_client/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | bax101 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338933016 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338933339 | null | False | null | umsd1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_umsd1 | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/umsd1/tifu_attempted_to_repair_a_skydrol_hydraulic_pump/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | I was asked to fix our hydraulic mule pump because the tank was cracked at the flange. There was no way PRC could hold up to Skydrol because it is so corrosive. So with out any instructions I put the pump on a forklit and placed a metal bucket underneith it. The bucket only had a small hole on the top so I had to attach a funnel to it. There was probably about 5 gallons of Skydrol in the tank and the drain plug was seized up. After finally loosening the drain only a little bit was trickling out. So I decided to just take the drain off completely which was a major fuck up because it started to come out so fast that the funnel backed up and there wasn't enough air flow for it to handle so much fluid. It took in this major air bubble then erupted like a geyser hosing me with Skydrol then I panicked and moved the bucket out of the way to stop the flow with my thumb. I just put my thumb into the drainhole with no glove on to plug it up for a second which made it shoot out to the sides and hose me some more. At least I was smart enough to wear safety glasses, but I had to yell across the hanger for help. Someone came over gave me another bucket so I could free myself, but by this time I was burning all over and I had to go douse myself with castor oil because it neutralizes the burn feeling of skydrol on your skin. Then I had to change my clothes and take a shower, but as I write this I still feel my skin burning on my arms and my cheeks.
Here is a link in case you don't know how nasty Skydrol is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skydrol | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Attempted to repair a Skydrol hydraulic pump unit. Ended up with Skydrol all over me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/umsd1/tifu_attempted_to_repair_a_skydrol_hydraulic_pump/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Perf1ction | null | None | null | null | null | 1338932398 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | umrst | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_umrst | null | 32 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/umrst/tifu_i_was_texting_a_girl_i_liked_all_day/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 63 | null | null | Due to circumstances I have a phone from the US, but I live in Canada (where the girl lives). We started texting and I forgot to warn about the probable long distance charges. We ended up texting all day yesterday and partway into the morning. Earlier today she got a text from her provider saying that each text to and from my phone costs $0.80 and we texted ~200 times... I've felt like shit all day. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I was texting a girl I liked all day yesterday, I caused her cellphone bill to be > $160 | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/umrst/tifu_i_was_texting_a_girl_i_liked_all_day/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | 11equals7 | null | None | null | null | null | 1338930714 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | umq5l | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_umq5l | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/umq5l/tifu_i_plugged_in_my_tablet_charger_and_got/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 7 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I plugged in my tablet charger and got sparks. Result: fried tablet. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/umq5l/tifu_i_plugged_in_my_tablet_charger_and_got/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | jebus_cripes | null | None | null | null | null | 1338925154 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | umkor | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_umkor | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/umkor/tifu_by_getting_caught_shoplifting_after/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I started shoplifting about a year ago because my wages were being garnished and I literally had no money. I'd put a few things in my bag then buy a few other things. Today somehow I got caught, and since it was over $20 they had to call the cops. Although since I cooperated I did not get arrested. I do have a court date, not sure of the fine I'll have to pay though.
On the plus side, I got to keep the groceries I paid for. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by getting caught shoplifting after successfully doing it for a year. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/umkor/tifu_by_getting_caught_shoplifting_after/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sorepheet | null | None | null | null | null | 1338912538 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338915162 | null | False | null | um8pr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_um8pr | null | 83 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/um8pr/tifu_accidentally_gave_toll_booth_2_nickels/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 580 | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/Maine/comments/ulfm5/gave_incorrect_change_at_toll_accidentallthave_an/
The part that really frosts my ass is that my car in under my lady's EZ-Pass. If I had just rolled through that it would have been oh silly me I don't have the pass in the car.
Nope I try to do the right thing, ACCIDENTALLY give incorrect change and get berated by the state trooper. He asks me in the most condescending tone, "You know how to count, right? How old are you? You went to elementary school?" I answer, "Yup."
"Middle school?" He asks.
"Yup." I answer.
Tone gets even more sarcastic.
He asks me, "High school?"
I say, "Yes. Sir." Being sure to enunciate each word loud and clear.
He goes on with, "Some college?!"
"That's correct officer, finished even." I answer more quickly and coldly.
He then let's me know he has no reason to believe that I made a mistake and was actively trying to rip the state off. I show him the multiple quarters, dimes and nickels at my disposal that can make this situation go away. He huffs and goes back to his car. For 15 MINUTES!
I knew there was no more discussion to be had with this man. He handed me my summons for "theft by deception" had me sign and asked if I had any questions. I asked what class crime this was and he told me it was a misdemeanor. He then told me I should be careful since toll took a pic of my license plate they could suspend my registration.
TL;DR I made a mistake. My question I guess is do I call and file a complaint? He was super sarcastic, condescending and rude. Officer was not interested in a dialogue and had mind made up before reaching my car. What would you do reddit?
EDIT: Woah! Guess I pissed someone off in law enforcement with this post. Someone went on a downvote spree on my comment history. 300 less karma this morning. Interesting.
EDIT 2: Looked up Violation 17-A Sec. 3571A Class E http://www.mainelegislature.org/legis/statutes/17-a/title17-Asec357.html Feeling a lot better about my case. I DID try to make the situation right and it was $.40!!!
EDIT 3: Just heard back from lawyer. Sending him the summons. He's calling BS on the charges. GO TEAM! I'll be sure to post a TIFUpdate when I know more | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU accidentally gave toll booth 2 nickels sandwiched between 2 quarters. Now I have a court summons over $.40! [X-Post from /r/Maine] | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/um8pr/tifu_accidentally_gave_toll_booth_2_nickels/ | null | null | null | null |