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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337129434 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tp5os | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tp5os | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tp5os/tifu_my_term_paper_was_due_on_friday_the_11th_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I completely underestimated the amount of time it would take me to complete the paper, and procrastinated when I should have been writing. My professor seemed fairly lenient in the past about deadlines in the past, so I expect to receive partial if not full credit, but I still feel like a failure and an asshole. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: My term paper was due on Friday (the 11th). I just turned it in 2 minutes ago | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tp5os/tifu_my_term_paper_was_due_on_friday_the_11th_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | c1o2d3y | null | None | null | null | null | 1337280730 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ts1mg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ts1mg | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ts1mg/tifu_my_car_door_will_not_open_i_think_it_was_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I'm pretty pissed about it. First time I've hit anything on the road.
I used a GPS to go to an outlet mall far from here. The damn GPS led me on a lonely gravel country road after I missed a turn. I'm going about 30-40 MPH and holding the GPS in one hand glancing up/down watching for traffic or curves. I saw this big ass black Labrador in the corner of my eye. The dog was running towards my car. I had no time to react. It was either swerve and risk crashing my car into the ditch or keep going. The fucker jumped right into the side of my car as I'm going 30-40 MPH.
First thought was of the dog, he got back up. Second thought was that I should tell the owners. Third thought turned into laughter after I saw a little boy standing outside his house (laughter at the thought of me killing the family dog in front the little boy, I laugh at shit like this, I think it is a reaction caused by my anxiety.) The fourth thought was anger at the undisciplined dog and owners.
So I just drove off thinking the dog was fine, and my car was fine. No point in me trying to explain to the owners what happened, the kid saw it all. If anything me going up there could of resulted in me paying the vet bills.
So I try to open the passenger side of the car. The door opens just a little, and then I can feel resistance of the frames pushing together.
**TL;DR A dog jumped into the side of my car, now my door is broke**
**I might run out and look for a body shop here in town and edit with the estimate tonight. I'm so fucking pissed off though. That god damn dog could of caused a few hundred dollars of damage to my fucking car. I thought about trying to track down the owners, but that will surely result in a vet bill. Looks like that dog got fucked up, jumping into the side of my car.**
**Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I might try and find a old high school friend to fix the damage, it doesn't look like much. It's just a dent.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. My car door will not open, I think it was the dog that jumped into my car a few days before. Looks like I might have to pay for the damages. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ts1mg/tifu_my_car_door_will_not_open_i_think_it_was_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | hoss9424 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337279265 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ts0cc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ts0cc | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ts0cc/tifu_jokingly_told_a_guy_today_to_go_die_in_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 40 | null | null | I think I will now remove that phrase from my vernacular. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Jokingly told a guy today to go die in a fire, immediately found out he is a volunteer firefighter. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ts0cc/tifu_jokingly_told_a_guy_today_to_go_die_in_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sniktaw | null | None | null | null | null | 1337277561 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | trywa | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_trywa | null | 50 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/trywa/tifu_i_sharted_my_pants_last_night_after_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 244 | null | null | Last night after dinner I shit my pants while letting out a fart. Dinner was preceded by a whole day (about 8hrs) spent with my new girlfriend. It was our second date. Not wanting to fart around her, I held in every one that begged its way out for that whole day. We got sandwiches and baked potatoes for dinner and on the walk back to my car I figured it was time to let one out. Mind you, after so many hours of holding it in, my stomach was hurting somethin' fierce - like it would explode at any minute from the pressure build-up. So by this point it was a life or death fart. Next to my girfriend I slowed my walk a bit to hang back, and reached around to grab and spread my left cheek. Instantly the day's gas whooshed out in a torrent of sweet release. Unfortunatly the evacuation was also made up of what I can only describe as sanatorum sans lube. The nasty frothy mixture I had brewed all day shot out and ran down the backs of both my legs, making it down to my ankles mid-walk. And because of the heat I had elected not to wear underwear.
The rest of the night is a blur. I think the adrenaline rush that came from the subsequent panic mode caused me to partially black out. All I know is I never want that to happen again, to anyone anywhere. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I sharted my pants last night after my birthday dinner with my new girlfriend. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/trywa/tifu_i_sharted_my_pants_last_night_after_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | johnclub22 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337256222 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337286248 | null | False | null | trixm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_trixm | null | 59 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/trixm/tifu_asked_a_girl_jokingly_to_please_kill_herself/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 64 | null | null | Sitting at lunch with a couple friends, I was approached by K. K says "Hey J, guess who your car partner is for tomorrows field trip?" (Said very sarcastically to obviously imply it was her.) Now throughout the year and earlier this morning K had been a particularly annoying math partner. We were neutral in my opinion, but she was tipping the scale towards 'hostile'. Without thinking I replied very monotone to K "Could you kill yourself before tomorrow then?". Nothing happened, my friends all called me heartless and the day went on as usual. Later that night I was feeling particularly bad about the comment and texted her saying I was very sorry. A few minutes later I thought we had made up, and thought everything was back to normal.
Wrong.
The next morning K texted me "Oh by the way S told Dr. P (P is for principal) what you said to me. Even though I told her not to. You see at my school threats are taken VERY SERIOUSLY. A completely heterosexual boy was called a 'Fag' and ended up with a two week counseling on what he should do if seriously threatened by a homophobe. And the kid who made the comment was suspended for two days.
Shit.
So now I am going through the slowest most paranoid week of my life. Awaiting my punishment with horror.
I need advice and I need to be yelled at for my mistakes. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Asked a girl jokingly to "Please kill herself." Was taken seriously. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/trixm/tifu_asked_a_girl_jokingly_to_please_kill_herself/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337245761 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | trewo | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_trewo | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/trewo/tifu_i_shot_a_squirrel_that_had_a_nest_of_babies/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I Know there are quite a bit of warm hearted animal loving folks out in Reddit that are sharpening their pitchforks and calling PETA as they search for ways to locate where a live. But, my grandparents live in the country and squirrels are a major nuisance to them as they like to get in the attic and chew things like priceless family heirlooms and wires. So rather that lose worldly possessions or wake up on fire my grandad constantly shoots the little tree rats.
Any other time I would be fine with shooting one but today after ending ones life with a 22 rifle as it ran on a limb around 20 feet from where I was sitting on the back porch I discovered its teets were exposed. That can only mean one thing...it has babies somewhere. This immediately upset me.
I felt like a monster knowing those babies were out in the world alone now destined to die a slow cruel death. I am usually quite environmentally conscious and this dumb decision hurts me to think about.
I fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I shot a squirrel that had a nest of babies somewhere. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/trewo/tifu_i_shot_a_squirrel_that_had_a_nest_of_babies/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | InfernalCorbeau | null | None | null | null | null | 1337226903 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tr53r | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tr53r | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tr53r/tifu_told_my_teacher_im_bigger_than_him/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 34 | null | null | I was in my history class today, when my teacher handed out a test. Somebody asked if he used a typewriter to write it. He said yes and showed us the typewriter that he kept in the closet. Having a similar typewriter at home but in a much larger model, I mean't to say that my typewriter was older and bigger than his, what came out of my mouth was "HEY! I'm bigger than yours!"... I'm now serving 5 detentions over the next week and he gave me a 0% on the test... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Told my teacher I'm bigger than him | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tr53r/tifu_told_my_teacher_im_bigger_than_him/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | asnof | null | None | null | null | null | 1337219301 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tqyon | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tqyon | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tqyon/tifu_i_got_hot_sauce_in_my_eye/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | Not just any old franks red hot though, I like things spicy! It was [this](http://www.hotsauce.com/Endorphin-Rush-Beyond-Hot-Sauce-p/1121.htm).
You may ask how I got it in my eye, well once you pour it out of the bottle a little drips off the side then it crusts on and every blue moon or so I was it off. Just by running it under a tap and using my fingers. I thoroughly wipe my fingers off onto a tea towel and once dinner is made my eye starts itching. Well apparently I didnt get all of it off and now I have to endure this burning tortue for however long it will last. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I got hot sauce in my eye. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tqyon/tifu_i_got_hot_sauce_in_my_eye/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337218892 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tqya6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tqya6 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tqya6/tifu_by_idling_in_a_handicap_spot_with_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | DAMNIT. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by idling in a handicap spot with my flashers on in a full parkinglot waiting to pick up my GF, only to cause a sweet elderly couple to have to walk a good 50 yards to the store. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tqya6/tifu_by_idling_in_a_handicap_spot_with_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | herhighness | null | None | null | null | null | 1337377381 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttvfq | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttvfq | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttvfq/tifu_caused_damage_to_company_caragain/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | I work for a company that provides a car for me-a 2011 VW Jetta TDI fully loaded. I don't really need a company car but the owner is generous. Anyhow I was on the way to home and stopped by the Wendy's drive through for a small meal. When I pulled up to the first window no one came to take my money so when the car ahead of me pulled out I pulled ahead thinking they were taking the money and handing the food out from the same window. After I pulled forward a bit a woman from the first window called out and I stopped and put the car in reverse and backed up as did the car behind me. Ii stopped and decided to just jump out and hand the woman my money but when I got out I forgot to put it in park. The car rolled back and I put the gear in park instead of trying to jump in and step on the break. I avoided hitting the car behind me. I quickly handed the money to the woman and thought I was home free until I noticed the car door had been open and was bent back towards the front of the car. Fortunately the door closes and the window rolls up properly but there is a dent and I have no idea what will need to be done with the door to fix it. I am shaking as I type this. It is Friday and I am not due in to work until Tuesday. I know I need to call my boss but I haven't yet. Plus I will have to pay for this.
Shit fuck fuck fuck
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Caused damage to company car...again. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttvfq/tifu_caused_damage_to_company_caragain/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337374939 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tttf1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tttf1 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tttf1/pissed_myself/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Yup. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Pissed myself. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tttf1/pissed_myself/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Amora86 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337374710 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttt7y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttt7y | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttt7y/tifu_i_broke_my_brandnewneverbeenusedbefore/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | Was looking for my brand new bicycle lock so I could go commuting tomorrow. When I found it I tried the key to open it, in my dumbest self, since I didn't know which way to turn it I think I turned it at the wrong way and... broke the lock thing into pieces. Hurray for me and my stupid strenght! At this time the stores are already close, no commuting for me tomorrow. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I broke my brand-new-never-been-used-before bicycle lock | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttt7y/tifu_i_broke_my_brandnewneverbeenusedbefore/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | peper224 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337373703 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttsff | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttsff | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttsff/tifu_i_almost_blinded_myself_by_putting_whiteout/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 118 | null | null | Today I woke up and my eyes were killing me because of the contacts that I wear. Half asleep, I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed a bottle and unscrewed the top and tilted in into my eye. The texture of the drop was not normal so I freaked out and wiped my finger across my eye to get it out. I then ran to my bathroom to see what happened. Turning on the light, I looked into my hand to see my contact covered in whiteout. I had a bottle of eye-drops and whiteout next to my bed and I grabbed the wrong one. I am not supposed to sleep with my contacts in and if I hadn't I would have probably blinded myself. Along with that I had to yank out quite a few of my eyelashes because the white-out dried on them and I couldn't get it off. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I almost blinded myself by putting whiteout in my eyes instead of eye-drops. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttsff/tifu_i_almost_blinded_myself_by_putting_whiteout/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | hungrydyke | null | None | null | null | null | 1337368523 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tto6q | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tto6q | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tto6q/tifu_broke_my_hand_missed_the_ortho_appointment/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | I broke my hand at rugby practice last night. I was late to work today so I could get an x-ray. They scheduled me an appointment for the orthopedic surgeon, but I couldn't get there because my gf crashed her car and has been taking mine to work. Now I'm home, down to my last undies, and I can't get the top off the fucking laundry detergent. It's also hot as fuck and I can't take my shirt off. Done. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Broke my hand, missed the ortho appointment, can't do laundry. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tto6q/tifu_broke_my_hand_missed_the_ortho_appointment/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337366972 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttmvx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttmvx | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttmvx/tifu_made_a_pot_of_coffee_but_forgot_to_dump_out/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | 1/3rd pot of coffee was still in the pot, and in my fog this morning, i filled up the back of the coffeepot with water, dumped some grounds, and turned it on. bout 13 minutes later, a coworker alerts me to my mistake. COFFEE ERRYWERR! cleaned it up, and had to wait another 15 minutes before a new pot was made.
thought this kind of shit was reserved for mondays. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Tifu: made a pot of coffee, but forgot to dump out yesterdays leftovers | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttmvx/tifu_made_a_pot_of_coffee_but_forgot_to_dump_out/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Screwedupdude | null | None | null | null | null | 1337365403 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttlo6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttlo6 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttlo6/tifu_more_than_once/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | TL;DR I find my father's sex drawer, realise my mother is on menopause (not that bad but a bit weird to think about) and might have an infected ass from using a dirty carrot dildo.
So the T in this case is Tuesday. And to preface things, I'm a dude. Who doesn't consider himself all that gay.
So on Tuesday I was at home on study leave (A levels woop) and was feeling horny. A couple of times before I've used the odd object around the house as a sex toy. So today, as my parents are out, I decide to find something. I pick the 3 medium sized carrots from the fridge, thinking that I could handle them all.
I then look for a condom as I don't have any lube and vaseline isn't fantastic. It turned out that I'd already used all my rubbers beforehand so I thought I'd look for one my dad's. Fuck up numero uno incoming.
While looking through his drawers, I stumble across his apparent sex drawer. It was filled with about 4 or 5 bottles of lube, some pretty empty, some flavoured and some normal as well as some books on various types of sex and positions. I had never come across this before so I was kind of shocked. I hadn't really thought of my parents having sex before so it was an unfortunate discovery.
The wave of horniness returned and I decided I would use some of his lube instead of the condom (which he had none of, leading me to believe my mother is on menopause, which could be fuck up number two). I reached in and took the 'Big Banana' one which turned out to be banana flavoured.
So I got to work and finished off but I hadn't played with myself in that way for a while so I couldn't take more than one carrot, which was a shame since it meant they were a waste. To then hide the evidence, I went outside and chucked the carrots into a hedge but because they were lubed up, I didn't chuck one very far and in fact was nearly unreachable but visible. This is where all the logs for fires are so it isn't a great place for a random carrot to be found. Regardless, I leave it and go back into the house.
A while later, a new bout of horniness arrives and I was to dildo myself again. Because of the way horny minds work, I thought I would chance retrieving the visible carrot, that had been on the ground for a while now, and use that. I get it, going through some brambles and over a log pile, and clean it up a bit, using some handwash. I finish and throw it away properly.
Now for the past couple of days, my asshole has been itching quite badly, leading me to believe I might have some kind of bacteria/bug in my ass. This scares me and is my other fuck up.
I feel really bad now about the whole experience | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU more than once | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttlo6/tifu_more_than_once/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | squimblish | null | None | null | null | null | 1337364025 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttkjr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttkjr | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttkjr/tifu_tried_to_do_something_cool_smashed_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 39 | null | null | One of the best parts of riding a bicycle in NYC is that people everywhere are trying to hail cabs. This also means strangers are always trying to high five you as you ride by, or at least thats what me and my friends like to think. So we make a game of collecting as many "Bike 5"s as possible.
Today, I was almost to my destination and had not had a Bike 5 all day, so i was geting desperate. A woman was hailing a cab at Broadway and Houston, I went for it.
Turns out her cellphone was in that hand. And then it was on Broadway in several pieces, some under a bus. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Tried to do something cool, smashed a strangers cellphone. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttkjr/tifu_tried_to_do_something_cool_smashed_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337360555 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tths7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tths7 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tths7/tifu_had_a_nosebleed_during_family_gathering_at/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Pretty self explanatory. I grabbed a tissue the second I realised I was having one of my frequent nosebleeds and made my way to the bathroom. There must have been 40-60 people there but only one person saw me bleed/head to the bathroom and it was a 6 year old cousin. I threw the tissue in as soon as I got there and noticed the streak it left, making a mental note to clean it up before I left. Except it took a while to stop the bleeding and by the time it was done, I was so relieved it stopped that I just walked out, forgetting about the tissue. I was there another 2 hours before I left, and it wasn't till I was home that I remembered I didn't clean it up. Nobody mentioned it to me and I hate to think of the person who went in after me, whoever it may be | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Had a nosebleed during family gathering at cousin's home, threw bloody tissue in toilet, leaving a streak of blood down the bowl I had forgotten to clean | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tths7/tifu_had_a_nosebleed_during_family_gathering_at/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337352567 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttbj9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttbj9 | null | 19 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttbj9/tifu_i_got_into_a_taxi_drunk_and_gave_the_driver/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 127 | null | null | Yeah, so I was in a bit of a bad way and the taxi driver wanted "insurance" in case I vomited in the car. I gave him £20. Later on in the journey I was feeling queezy, so he stopped the taxi and demanded an extra £10 plus my phone. I stupidly handed them over.
When the car stopped I asked him for my money and phone back since I hadn't vomited and he just shook his head.
I... let... him... drive... away...
I also didn't catch the registration or taxi firm he was working for. FML | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I got into a taxi (drunk) and gave the driver my phone and £30 in case I puked. He wouldn't give them back to me and I let him drive away. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttbj9/tifu_i_got_into_a_taxi_drunk_and_gave_the_driver/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | TheTopDawgg | null | None | null | null | null | 1337351571 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ttati | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ttati | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ttati/today_i_accidentally_pulled_my_pants_down_in_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 114 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Today I accidentally pulled my pants down in the middle of a busy restaurant. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ttati/today_i_accidentally_pulled_my_pants_down_in_the/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | sicknastymax | null | None | null | null | null | 1337327620 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tt021 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tt021 | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tt021/tifu_blacked_out_fell_into_a_tree_made_out_with/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 54 | null | null | Well we had some rum. Fuck it we had A LOT of rum. We ended up going into a house in construction and just after we left the cops showed up and told us to quiet down. We went into the back yard and I was too drunk to stand and when I fell it was like a tree falling. I never even put my arms out. I fell into a flower pot and broke it, then I fell into a bench and messed up my knee, and then I fell into a tree and ripped out my earring. Thats about the last thing I remember. Apparently I made out with some ugly gay kid... so much shame, smashed the two bottles on the ground and got a few cuts, and when I got home I puked on my mom lol. I am absolutely covered from head to toe in cuts and bruises and this morning I woke up naked. My knee hurts so bad I cant even walk. FML | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Blacked out, fell into a tree, made out with an ugly gay guy, and then puked on my mom. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tt021/tifu_blacked_out_fell_into_a_tree_made_out_with/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337323954 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tsyiu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tsyiu | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tsyiu/tifu_im_valedictorian_and_graduation_is_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I've been procrastinating for months. I feel like an idiot, but I just can't think of ANYTHING to say. How do I kill the self-sabotaging perfectionism without having a completely lame speech? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - I'm valedictorian and graduation is in exactly a week. I haven't started my speech. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tsyiu/tifu_im_valedictorian_and_graduation_is_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | noirthesable | null | None | null | null | null | 1337321518 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tsx9w | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tsx9w | null | 33 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tsx9w/tifu_inadvertently_drank_a_soda_that_had_expired/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 184 | null | null | I'd found out that a vending machine at a shopping center near my house had "Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper." I *loved* B&C Dr. Pepper, and bought one, happy that they brought it back. Took a huge swig, got a mouthful of tepid, flat, sour, and slightly fuzzy black crap.
As it turns out, they didn't bring it back -- the staff of the shopping center had just completely neglected that vending machine. Ended up vomiting right there on the sidewalk. I'm still flushing my mouth out with mouthwash right now as I type. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Inadvertently drank a soda that had expired... over half a decade ago. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tsx9w/tifu_inadvertently_drank_a_soda_that_had_expired/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Casshole | null | None | null | null | null | 1337318057 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337542092 | null | False | null | tsvdb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tsvdb | null | 134 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tsvdb/tifu_got_caught_big_time/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 368 | null | null | My mom always comes home at 6:00. ALWAYS.
But, the one day I decide not to lock my door, she get's home early.
Oh, and that's not the best part. She caught me watching girl on girl (I'm bi) She freaked out, called my dad, and made me read out of the bible for two hours straight. Now I'm not allowed to have sleepovers with friends, or ever hang out with anyone outside of school, and summer's almost here.
*sighs* And that's not the worst part. Not only did she find out that I was bi, but that I also might have a bondage fetish.
Sorry if this TIFU is long, sorry if it's not. I just needed to rant.
*In reply to some comments wanting the link for "science" here it is: http://www.redtube.com/119704
*And in reply to other comments, I'm not atheist, I do believe in God. I just don't belong to religion in general, because I personally think that they're all fucked. Thanks for reading.
*Thank you guys so much. My friend convinced me to show my mom some of the comments on this post, and at first she got mad; but then she apologized. She cried and said that she didn't want me to go through what her step sister did when she came out. She still thinks that it's wrong, but she said that if I really am bi, that she'll try to be supportive in the best way she can. Me and her both cried, alot. I guess this experience was a good one for me and her, and now I think we're a bit closer. Thanks, Reddit! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Got caught. Big time. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tsvdb/tifu_got_caught_big_time/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | clearedasfiled | null | None | null | null | null | 1337317853 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tsv93 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tsv93 | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tsv93/tifu_i_said_look_theres_a_bald_eaglebut_on_closer/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 50 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I said "look there's a bald eagle"...but on closer inspection it was a crow with a styrofoam cup in its beak. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tsv93/tifu_i_said_look_theres_a_bald_eaglebut_on_closer/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337301820 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337321955 | null | False | null | tsj5g | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tsj5g | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tsj5g/tifu_submitted_a_resume_with_the_cover_letter/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 26 | null | null | I was super excited to apply for an internship at a company that I really hoped to work for. The application process required that I submit my cover letter, resume, and response to three open-ended questions in one document.
Now, I have two or three pre-written cover letters that I use/tweak based on the type of position I want, so I copy and pasted it and my resume into the document, tweaked as needed, and then went on to answer the questions. I was so wrapped up in answering those questions fully and to the best of my ability, that I totally forgot to change the name of the hiring manager to whom I'd addressed the cover letter... And didn't realize it until I'd already sent everything out.
EDIT: Had an extra word or two in there somewhere. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Submitted a resume with the cover letter addressed to the hiring manager of the wrong company. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tsj5g/tifu_submitted_a_resume_with_the_cover_letter/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337468743 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tva7b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tva7b | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tva7b/tomt_story_about_a_fisherman_who_murders_his/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I remember reading a story (I think it was part of a novel (it might have been a Neal Stephenson novel, not sure)) with some or all of the following points:
* Two brothers live in a fishing village, and their father has decided to split their inheritance
* They're out in their canoe one night when a storm picks up
* They're tied to the boat so that neither of them will fall in
* The younger brother comes back alone and says that his older brother's line snapped and he drowned
* Later, the older brother's body washes ashore and the villagers see that his line was cut with a knife, proving that the younger brother murdered him | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | [TOMT] [Story] about a fisherman who murders his brother to get his inheritance (I think) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tva7b/tomt_story_about_a_fisherman_who_murders_his/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | zachglover1127 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337467923 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337502261 | null | False | null | tv9kz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tv9kz | null | 67 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tv9kz/tifu_the_things_ill_do_to_get_laid/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 105 | null | null | I am currently sitting in some girls apt. I wouldn't say its completely disgusting but it is pretty gross. Luckily the girl im after doesnt live here, but this might be where the "magic" happens. I dont want to pass on this but the place smells like wet dog and i haven't seen any signs of animals. wish me luck reddit, ill edit later and let you know what happened.
EDIT: 3:22 am. laid. high. drunk. Im passing the fuck out, Thanks guys for everything! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. The things ill do to get laid. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tv9kz/tifu_the_things_ill_do_to_get_laid/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | insomni666 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337454669 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tv0p9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tv0p9 | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tv0p9/tifu_sent_my_phi_theta_kappa_application_to_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 15 | null | null | I've been applying for all the scholarships and financial aid I can apply for, and have been rejected by every single one. I don't even think I qualify for a loan. The only scholarship that would have been a sure thing is the Phi Theta Kappa scholarship (I was nominated 2 times, but only decided the second time to actually accept). As you can see from the title, I fucked up the address and they didn't receive the check in time for the deadline, so they sent it back.
Now I might not be able to go to this college because of financial issues and the expense because I would be an out of state student. I want to bash my head into a wall... I cannot fucking believe I was that stupid. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | "T"IFU: Sent my Phi Theta Kappa application to the wrong room number, ended up missing the deadline, and now I might not be able to go to the college of my choice. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tv0p9/tifu_sent_my_phi_theta_kappa_application_to_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ArthurTrollington | null | None | null | null | null | 1337429733 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tumlb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tumlb | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tumlb/hey_tifu_nobody_likes_your_floating_subscribe_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Hey TIFU? Nobody likes your floating "Subscribe to /r/tifu here" link. Please get rid of it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tumlb/hey_tifu_nobody_likes_your_floating_subscribe_to/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337426844 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tulkt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tulkt | null | 20 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tulkt/tifu_quit_my_semicrappy_job_3_months_ago_thinking/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 123 | null | null | Three months ago I was working a job at a *major* telecom company. It was bad, but looking back I had over-reacted entirely. I (literally) walked off the job, thinking that my skills & experience would net me a new job soon.
Today I came to the raw conclusion that
* I'm not *that* skilled,
* The job market isn't *that* great, and
* My old job wasn't *that* bad.
So I fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | "T"IFU: Quit my semi-crappy job 3 months ago thinking I'd quickly get a new one. Nope. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tulkt/tifu_quit_my_semicrappy_job_3_months_ago_thinking/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | matt2709 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337423909 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tukn6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tukn6 | null | 35 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tukn6/tifu_at_a_bbq_i_completely_covered_a_hotdog_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 61 | null | null | Oh god the burning...
I still cant taste flavours. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: At a BBQ I completely covered a hotdog in mustard thinking it was American style, It was actually English mustard and I had to eat the whole thing out of politeness... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tukn6/tifu_at_a_bbq_i_completely_covered_a_hotdog_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337410221 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tug6m | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tug6m | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tug6m/tifu_always_sign_the_hot_ones_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 31 | null | null | I work as a security guard for a private country club and some of the rich kids were having parties tonight. I am supposed to sign everyone in but this super hot chick came through. I talked to her for a minute and realized that she already knew she was way outa my league. Feeling defeated I let her through without getting her info. This was at 7pm. An hour ago I allowed two cops to come in and patrol. It's now 1:48 in the morning and the tow truck just left with her car. She apparently got shit tanked and drove onto the golf course and got stuck in the sand. The boss is either going to yell at me tomorrow or laugh his ass off. I hope it's the second one. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Tifu. Always sign the hot ones in. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tug6m/tifu_always_sign_the_hot_ones_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | why_fist_puppies | null | None | null | null | null | 1337405671 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tue3o | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tue3o | null | 23 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tue3o/tifu_my_girlfriends_dad_who_has_been_visiting_for/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 95 | null | null | I'm kind of a quiet talker and I get real uncomfortable around in-laws. Between these two factors, he believes I haven't spoken a word to him in three days. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: My girlfriend's dad, who has been visiting for her graduation, is deaf in one ear. He flipped a shit today and accused me of ignoring him and being ungrateful. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tue3o/tifu_my_girlfriends_dad_who_has_been_visiting_for/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Trelelele | null | None | null | null | null | 1337401160 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tubks | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tubks | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tubks/today_i_fucked_down/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | No seriously. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Today I fucked down. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tubks/today_i_fucked_down/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | zachglover1127 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337399651 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tuant | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tuant | null | 31 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tuant/tifu_resin_straight_to_the_eye/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 64 | null | null | Earlier today I woke up and went about my daily routine. Well after I had showered i proceeded to smoking before I left for the gym. Everything was going fine and I was pretty high when I realized that my bowl was clogged. I used a thumbtack and unclogged it. The bad part then happened. I blew the excess resin and ash out and a piece decided to find its way to my eyeball...Needless to say automatic discomfort is what i felt. I tried flushing my eyes, and even getting back into the shower. Nothing seemed to take away the feeling of scraping on the top of my eyeball. So to the Optomotrist I went. Where i spent 3 hours waiting to see the doc. 10 minutes after the doc was in to see me he had the piece of resin out and my eye felt worlds better. For some reason he thought the crud was salad. (how high are you I thought) Paid my visit bill and was on my way. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Resin Straight to the Eye. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tuant/tifu_resin_straight_to_the_eye/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | throwawawaway9000 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337557473 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | twntt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_twntt | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/twntt/tifu_got_drunk_tried_to_kiss_a_girl_and_was_shut/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 45 | null | null | Happened last night, honestly, if that still counts. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Got drunk, tried to kiss a girl and was shut down. Also spilled on my bike, wrecked the back tire and cut my hand. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/twntt/tifu_got_drunk_tried_to_kiss_a_girl_and_was_shut/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337495024 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tvpwy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tvpwy | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tvpwy/tifu_missed_a_potential_chance_to_get_laid/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 55 | null | null | Woke up this morning to text I got from a girl at ~1:40 in the morning, saying "What're you doing?". I'm not sure why she was asking, especially at 1:40 AM, but I could guess.
Fuck me
Maybe she just needed a ride home... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Missed a potential chance to get laid because my phone was on silent. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tvpwy/tifu_missed_a_potential_chance_to_get_laid/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | hyperlyss | null | None | null | null | null | 1337494003 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tvpfe | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tvpfe | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tvpfe/tifu_got_yelled_at_by_a_blind_mans_friend_for/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 72 | null | null | The dog looked just like my puppy back home and I got a stupid grin on my face. Blind guy's friend stopped me and said "Don't you know better than to make fun of the disabled?!". I felt bad and ran away rather than explain. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Got yelled at by a blind man's friend for staring... Was excited by his cute dog. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tvpfe/tifu_got_yelled_at_by_a_blind_mans_friend_for/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Not_A_40_YR_Old_Man | null | None | null | null | null | 1337493738 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tvpb3 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tvpb3 | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tvpb3/tifu_just_lost_some_treasure_to_the_evil_carpet/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Just loaded a bowl of trees, and thought I'd treat myself. I have keif I keep saved up for that extra punch sometimes. Anyways, loaded the bowl, put the keif on top, and thought if take a fucking picture. It looked nice, and I love taking pictures of bowls when I know they will fuxk me up. Plus I send them to my roommate, or whoever to piss them off :D.
Well taking the picture is the part were I was dumb.
Why?
Well instead of me just hold the damn thing, scumbag brain here thought "hey man, put that shit down on the top shelf. Then, why don't you keep it near the edge."
Not a second after me putting it down to reach for the phone, which is in my pocket btw, the bowl decided to jump like an olympic athlet into a pool. Bam! Right on the carpet, did a bounce, everything is gone...everything.
I ended up just loading another bowl, an still smoking. Key word, another. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Just lost some treasure to the evil carpet. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tvpb3/tifu_just_lost_some_treasure_to_the_evil_carpet/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337474692 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tve1g | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tve1g | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tve1g/tifu_my_grades_and_the_love_of_my_parents/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 22 | null | null | So I got my progress report and it turns out I'm failing 3 subjects, my parents outright told me they are giving up on me and kicking me out very soon. I already made up my assignments and raised my average by at least 15 points in each of the subjects i was failing but I can't seem to get through to them. They are going to rely on my brother who is 10. I am 16 and a sophomore in high school. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my grades and the love of my parents | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tve1g/tifu_my_grades_and_the_love_of_my_parents/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337642445 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337727763 | null | False | null | tybbz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tybbz | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tybbz/tifu_by_not_asking_enough_questions/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 24 | null | null | Long story short I am intern, did some stuff I was asked to by one guy next thing I know the main boss is emailing me telling me that I fucked up everything to meet him in his office next morning. Just a quick question if anyone does read this, how much does this impact my future employments?
Update (5/22/2012): since this thing got so few up votes and such I figure I would just update this post. I did not get fired (woooo) but did get chewed out like nobody's business (also my boss is so far up my arse I cant breath with out asking) but thanks to the feedback from you guys I think I did convince him (boss) that I am not completely useless so thanks! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by not asking enough questions | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tybbz/tifu_by_not_asking_enough_questions/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | biitchhplease | null | None | null | null | null | 1337621085 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | txrl5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_txrl5 | null | 47 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/txrl5/tifu_probably_buried_my_turtle_alive/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 181 | null | null | At least, today I found out I fucked up.
Last year, my 10-year-old sister and I found a very young box turtle at my uncle's house. We figured it probably would have got eaten by one of the million animals that eats baby turtles, so we took it home. We kept it for a long time, but it didn't seem very healthy - we probably didn't take very good care of it, and I don't think we even got it the right food, because it refused to eat for some reason. After a long time of it not seeming healthy, it just stopped moving. Guessing it had passed away, we had a cute little funeral for it, and buried it (deep) in the backyard. Well, today I found out box turtles hibernate.
TL;DR - thought my sister's turtle was dead, we buried it, turns out it was probably hibernating and I killed it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Probably buried my turtle alive | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/txrl5/tifu_probably_buried_my_turtle_alive/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | OhManItsMyAPClass | null | None | null | null | null | 1337618070 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | txozi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_txozi | null | 48 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/txozi/tifu_by_giving_my_friend_a_wedgie_she_was_on_her/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Needless to say, the narrow and red pancake on the floor was enough to deter me from ever doing that again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by giving my friend a wedgie, she was on her period | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/txozi/tifu_by_giving_my_friend_a_wedgie_she_was_on_her/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | aforsberg | null | None | null | null | null | 1337616410 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | txnmn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_txnmn | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/txnmn/tifu_made_a_your_mom_joke_to_a_friend_whose_mom/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 48 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Made a 'your mom' joke to a friend... whose mom has been dead for about 3 months now. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/txnmn/tifu_made_a_your_mom_joke_to_a_friend_whose_mom/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | thebornotaku | null | None | null | null | null | 1337584621 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tx7jy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tx7jy | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tx7jy/tifu_accidentally_slapped_a_coworkers_ass_yes_me/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 62 | null | null | I work as a bagger at a grocery store and today I had grabbed a crumpled up piece of paper and went to go toss it in a trash bin inside the checkstand. Out of habit I usually just reach in to the checkstand and toss it behind the checker towards the trash can. Well, today, I went to go do that right as the fairly attractive female checker took a step back because her till was opening. The result? My hand, which had just opened up to release the trash, met her ass, with force. There was an audible slap sound. She froze for a second (as did the customer, who totally noticed it) before turning around and yelling "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" at me.
After profusely apologizing and trying to explain, my supervisor took me in the office and interrogated me over the whole thing, where I again tried profusely to apologize and explained what happened. My supervisor understood but also told me that if my coworker decided to press the issue that I would lose my job.
Thankfully, when my supervisor went to go talk to her, my supervisor was able to explain the situation and my coworker decided to drop it. I had thought for certain I was about to be fired.
tl;dr:
pay attention where you hands are, and may be going
be grateful for the good supervisors you have that help keep your ass out of trouble | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Accidentally slapped a co-worker's ass... yes, me too. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tx7jy/tifu_accidentally_slapped_a_coworkers_ass_yes_me/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | RipperOfCheeks | null | None | null | null | null | 1337575074 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tx22u | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tx22u | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tx22u/on_the_verge_of_being_kicked_out_unemployed_what/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | On the verge of being kicked out, unemployed, what now? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tx22u/on_the_verge_of_being_kicked_out_unemployed_what/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | HolyEdward | null | None | null | null | null | 1337569289 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | twxlj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_twxlj | null | 99 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/twxlj/tifu_accidentally_smacked_a_coworkers_ass/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 226 | null | null | I'm a server. My co-worker was doing something by the counter and i had to reach above her to get a condiment. There was an empty tray in my left hand, and as i was reaching that tray toppled forward. I then pushed my hand forward as well to try and catch the tray. Seems the only thing i caught was the woman's rear end. Now she won't stop flirting with me.
EDIT: She's Fat. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TiFu: Accidentally smacked a co-workers ass | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/twxlj/tifu_accidentally_smacked_a_coworkers_ass/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337562405 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | twron | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_twron | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/twron/while_clipping_my_dogs_matted_fur_i_accidentally/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I am worried about infection for which I found doggy safe clarithromycin from my cabinet and furthermore don't trust myself even to trim around his eyes again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | While clipping my dog's matted fur, I accidentally cut him. I am an asshole. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/twron/while_clipping_my_dogs_matted_fur_i_accidentally/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | voxpupil | null | None | null | null | null | 1337720459 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tzuzc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tzuzc | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tzuzc/tifu_i_forgot_to_attend_student_for_a_day_meeting/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | It has happened twice. Other day I said I would come to this date but I missed it. Again, we arranged a new date and I missed it again.
Hopefully this time I won't miss it. I've been hiding for many weeks now because of this issue. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I forgot to attend Student For A Day meeting twice. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tzuzc/tifu_i_forgot_to_attend_student_for_a_day_meeting/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | l0l_cabbage | null | None | null | null | null | 1337716078 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tzqnz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tzqnz | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tzqnz/tifu_screw_you_reddit_is_fun_app/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I opened reddit Is fun app on my lesson. Someone replied to me, so the notification sound came. My teacher notices this and takes my phone. She refuses to give It to me and tells that she will give It only to my mom. My mom refuses to take the phone until the end of May. Meh, I'll just take my phone from teacher desk when teacher will be somewhere else. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - Screw you, reddit is fun app! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tzqnz/tifu_screw_you_reddit_is_fun_app/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | cosakboomhauser | null | None | null | null | null | 1337705658 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tzh81 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tzh81 | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tzh81/tifu_by_puking_in_my_bathroom_sink_and_clogging_it/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | I was extremely intoxicated and half asleep. Didn't think to go to the toilet at the time because it was the heat of the moment. Upchucked my whole meatball sub that I had for dinner. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by puking in my bathroom sink and clogging it | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tzh81/tifu_by_puking_in_my_bathroom_sink_and_clogging_it/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Alexi_Strife | null | None | null | null | null | 1337688442 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tz4r0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tz4r0 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tz4r0/tifu_by_putting_electrodes_on_my_penis/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 187 | null | null | So I work in a porn store and one of the products we sell is a E-stim package. It contains 4 electrodes and a remote. I messed around with it previously with my girlfriend when I first got it and we had fun naming all the power settings which ranged from 'cat claws in the morning' to 'zoidberg hands' and the most powerful setting, 'midnight knife fight in downtown Oakland'.
Well, tonight I was bored and alone. Decided to try to rub one out and go to sleep but nothing was really doing it for me, so I decided to be adventurous. I hook up two of the electrodes to my junk, around the shaft and pressed play on my "acquired" copy of Avengers. It was the perfect set up, in moments I was going to make a new addition to the spank bank thanks to miss Scarlet Johansson and some mild voltage.
At first it didn't work. I assumed you had to have all four electrodes making contact somewhere, so I tried connecting the second set to...ahem... another region.
It felt amazing, a few of the settings were uncomfortable but nothing too bad, I would quickly switch to a different mode and it was all good. I eventually found a nice mild setting and kept it there but increased the speed.
I finally found the perfect setting and it was amazing, I had never came so hard in my life. Unfortunately, when I came I twitched in such a way that one of the electrode popped off and landed on the arm that was holding the remote. It twitched and clenched the button that increased the voltage. I went from bliss to searing agony in seconds.
It felt like a legion of fire ants; commanded by my exes, were marching through every vein and inch of my member. I kind of wanted to scream out for help but I couldn't let my roommates find "this".
After about 10 seconds, which felt like hours, I got the thing to stop. Never again. Never again.
TL;DR. I stuck an e-stim on my penis. Felt like a downtown Oakland knife fight on my junk. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by putting electrodes on my penis | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tz4r0/tifu_by_putting_electrodes_on_my_penis/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | BRNZ42 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337660505 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyr3j | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyr3j | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyr3j/tifu_i_walked_around_target_with_a_toiletpaper/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I had a serious case of number 3 while shopping for shorts. I walked out of the restroom like a boss, figuring I owned the place. The TP decided to stay on my ass rather than be flushed, and wound up draped over my pants like a 3-foot tail. My GF saved me before too much embarrassment. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I walked around Target with a toilet-paper tail. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyr3j/tifu_i_walked_around_target_with_a_toiletpaper/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MissInterpretation | null | None | null | null | null | 1337656921 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyo7n | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyo7n | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyo7n/tifu_we_got_my_motherinlaw_tickets_to_cirque_du/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | My husband offhandedly mentioned that it was 'next weekend' when he got the tickets; like a dumbass I never bothered to check the actual date & time. I drove his mother 2 hours to the event and got all the way to the stadium, only to have the ticket-taker tell me at the door that Cirque du Soleil is next weekend. And then ask me if I wanted to buy tickets to the LaCrosse game that was just starting. Thankfully his mother has a good sense of humor and we had a good laugh about it all the way home. And now we get to do it all over again next weekend. We can use that time to plot our revenge on him for telling us the wrong date. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: We got my mother-in-law tickets to Cirque du Soleil and drove her to the show a week early | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyo7n/tifu_we_got_my_motherinlaw_tickets_to_cirque_du/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Shrappy | null | None | null | null | null | 1337656785 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337775275 | null | False | null | tyo3m | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyo3m | null | 100 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyo3m/tifu_while_peeing/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1112 | null | null | Just happened. I'm wearing gym shorts. You know, elastic waistband? So I'm doing my business when my thumb slips off the waistband, causing it to shoot up into my exposed gentlemen vegetables. This resulted in a rather spectacular stream of homemade lemonade covering the side of the bowl, the floor next to it, the shower curtain and parts of the bathtub.
TL;DR: Thumb slipped, junk whipped, everything dripped.
Edit: That awkward moment when your most successful post on Reddit ever...is a self post. Feelsbadman. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU while peeing. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyo3m/tifu_while_peeing/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337653380 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyl1p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyl1p | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyl1p/tifu_lying_about_grades/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I normally did very well in high school, with no C's in my report card, and my parents were proud of me. Given that my older brother and sister were average, they expected me to outshine them, and I believed in myself too. And then junior year came along, and I was getting a C in Algebra 2 and in Chem first semester, and utterly failing Spanish, and my mother already stopped believing in me. While my Spanish class has possibly the shittiest teacher ever, I can only blame myself for chem and math. Now it's the last week of school and I have a D in math and chem, and still failing Spanish. The worst part is my parents have no idea, because I disabled the emails that get sent to them informing them of my grades, and every time they asked I would lie.
I feel like a horrible son and lost all my confidence, and I'm so afraid of what's going to happen when my parents find out that I'm not the achiever of the family, I'm just another "average kid," not to mention the lost trust that's sure to follow. I feel incredibly guilty and really regret what I did.
Sorry for all that, I just needed to vent.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Lying about grades. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyl1p/tifu_lying_about_grades/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | mollyfg | null | None | null | null | null | 1337652279 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyk10 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyk10 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyk10/today_i_sold_tickets_to_a_fellow_redditor_for_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 3 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | today i sold tickets to a fellow redditor for a show i thought was tonight - turns out it was last night | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyk10/today_i_sold_tickets_to_a_fellow_redditor_for_a/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | so_obscure | null | None | null | null | null | 1337649736 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyhrp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyhrp | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyhrp/tifu_by_launching_a_rock_from_my_lawnmower_into/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 39 | null | null | Needless to say, she wasn't happy... My main talking point was that shit happens. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by launching a rock from my lawnmower into my mother's $500 glass front door. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyhrp/tifu_by_launching_a_rock_from_my_lawnmower_into/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | jululous | null | None | null | null | null | 1337649625 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyho7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyho7 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyho7/tifu_i_tipped_a_chair_onto_my_crush/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So in every classroom in my school, there are a couple really crappy desks in the back of the room that fall over really easily, and we call them the tippy desks. So today I was sitting in a tippy desk next to my crush, and suddenly the desk tipped over while I was sitting in it, and it landed on my crush's foot. Ouch. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I tipped a chair onto my crush | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyho7/tifu_i_tipped_a_chair_onto_my_crush/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | dreamendDischarger | null | None | null | null | null | 1337648374 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | tyghx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_tyghx | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/tyghx/had_to_make_a_walk_of_shame_to_my_moms_house/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Had to make a walk of shame to my mom's house covered in ferret poop. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tyghx/had_to_make_a_walk_of_shame_to_my_moms_house/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337816304 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u1ui7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1ui7 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1ui7/tifu_i_called_my_fiancee_a_cunt/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 7 | null | null | I'm such a piece of shit, today I royally fucked up. I called my fiancee, who is my best friend and lover fit over 7 years, a cunt. I only did this cause she wouldn't open the driver side door from the inside cause I can't from the outside. Please tell me how fucked up I am, and any suggestions to fix it? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I called my fiancee a cunt | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1ui7/tifu_i_called_my_fiancee_a_cunt/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337812668 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u1rd0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1rd0 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1rd0/please_tell_me_how_terrible_i_am/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Please tell me how terrible I am | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1rd0/please_tell_me_how_terrible_i_am/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | spearhard | null | None | null | null | null | 1337808768 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u1nw1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1nw1 | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1nw1/tifu_rented_a_gaspowered_auger_to_drill_holes_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | My dad wants to build a pergola of some sort in our yard, and decided we'd build it ourselves. He got 10' long 4"x4" posts (six in total) to build the frame of it, and we were having trouble manually digging the holes for them (they need to be 3' deep), so we rented this auger. The guy at the rental store said to go down a bit and then pull up, and to keep repeating that. I stressed the importance of this to my dad, but he didn't think we needed to pull the auger up as frequently as I suggested. Now, both auger blades that we rented are firmly stuck in the dirt and we have no idea what to do. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Rented a gas-powered auger to drill holes in my yard for a project - got two auger blades deeply stuck in the ground | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1nw1/tifu_rented_a_gaspowered_auger_to_drill_holes_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337807478 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u1mmw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1mmw | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1mmw/today_my_mother_fucked_up/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Today my mother fucked up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1mmw/today_my_mother_fucked_up/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | legoman50204 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337806077 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u1l5y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1l5y | null | 26 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1l5y/tifu_i_put_gum_in_my_exgirlfriends_hair/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | So she sits next to me in class, and we always kinda joke around with each other, and she asks me for a piece of gum every time I'm chewing it in class. So today, after I gave her a fresh piece, I thought "Hey, it would be funny if you put gum in her hair. She would be mad at you for a few minutes." I didn't realize it wouldn't come out. I put it in her hair right at the end of the class period, then ran out. She sent me a text saying "I had to cut it out." I didn't think it would be that bad, but I guess I was wrong. She's probably the most intimidating person I know, and I may stay home from school tomorrow just so I won't have to face her wrath. I really wasn't trying to be mean, but I guess that doesn't really matter. We were just getting back to normal, conflict free friendship, too. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I put gum in my ex-girlfriend's hair. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1l5y/tifu_i_put_gum_in_my_exgirlfriends_hair/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | CJ090 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337805660 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338581032 | null | False | null | u1ks1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1ks1 | null | 26 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1ks1/tifu_told_the_false_story_of_the_last_time_i_had/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 41 | null | null | So im in the military and am a pretty to myself. When people see you arent trying to be "that guy" they assume one or two things 1: you're a virgin 2: you're gay. for me it was both under the assumption.
Heres how the story happens
I have had a nail biting problem since childhood so to prevent that i cover my nails in clear nail hardener and let them grow so my nails are quite long. So today some douche asks me why they are long and shiny and i tell him but thats not good enough for a douche so he goes there and asks "dude are you gay" no mother fucker im not. then, because once again im not "that guy" (that guy meaning being kind of a tool objectifying women all day always talking about my need for beer) he goes and asks am i a virgin; because that is the next worst thing possible. Now i may not be a virgin BUT, my last time was almost a year ago and thats kind of embarassing so instead of saying that i say i got laid last time i was on leave. So instead of leaving it at that they start grilling me; Who is she? What does she look like? blah blah blah. To respond i use the name of a friend back home who i have not hooked up with but could of and missed my opportunity before leaving for the service. Now they want verification they want to see my facebook and her profile saying they are going to add her and ask her if we've fucked (should of said some hipster response about deleting my facebook because it got childish and pointless) but the fact remains that these guys are really into invading peoples lives and outing them for anything but i probably shouldnt have lied and told them yeah i havent been laid in almost a year, what of it.
Currently Im trying to run interference by deleting her from my friends list so if they add me and look for her and see shes not there i can say oh she must of deleted me. But im hoping they just forget because they arent the smartest of people and are too concerned in other bullshit to try and out me.
**UPDATE** Situation diffused crisis avoided | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Told the false story of the last time I had sex, now a full blown investigation is being conducted on the subject. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1ks1/tifu_told_the_false_story_of_the_last_time_i_had/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | jululous | null | None | null | null | null | 1337804061 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337811682 | null | False | null | u1j8h | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1j8h | null | 33 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1j8h/tifu_a_blue_pen_exploded_in_my_mouth/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 72 | null | null | I was chewing on a pen, and it exploded in my mouth. Currently on my third round of mouthwash. Now that I think about it, the first thing I should've done was take pics for reddit, but it didn't occur to me. I guess I'm not a true redditor :(
EDIT: Pics: http://imgur.com/OxosY
I've gotten most of it off, but there's still a lot on my tongue and some on my teeth
edit: I also think I may have broken my tastebuds with too much mouthwash, kind of like when you burn your tongue. meh. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: A blue pen exploded in my mouth | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1j8h/tifu_a_blue_pen_exploded_in_my_mouth/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | WrecktheBeast | null | None | null | null | null | 1337803381 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u1ilx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1ilx | null | 33 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1ilx/tifu_a_job_interview_at_marketing/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | It starts off reasonably well. At two o'clock eastern time, I leave my current place of residence to go to the interview at 2:30 pm. With the directions in hand, I hop in the driver seat of my four door dodge with broken indicators. I'm dressed to kill
(i'll probably make a seperate post to r/malefashionadvice).
This job is mine.
Approximately forty-five minutes later, I arrive at the location. Traffic was a bitch. I'm led to a room filled with applicants, all of whom are silent. Fuck. I pick up an application and sign in. Within minutes, me and another applicant named Mike are called on. We're both led a to a room for a joint interview. I haven't finished my application. Double fuck. When the interviewer enters the room, I try to calm my frayed nerves. I end up calling him "ma'am".
I didn't want that job anyway. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU a Job interview at _______ Marketing | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1ilx/tifu_a_job_interview_at_marketing/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | IManageTacoBell | null | None | null | null | null | 1337799353 | null | None | self.tifu | 1346938948 | null | False | null | u1esk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u1esk | null | 72 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u1esk/tifu_emailed_an_important_company_client_a_thread/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 265 | null | null | I work in the media industry.
Had been with the company for 3+ years when I sent along a thread to our customer where we were complaining about them. Had a great salary, excellent benefits and a career on the rise. Had no major incidents during my time there and never had less than an above average review.
The customer was very important to us, and someone's head had to roll. Now I'm out of a job. I fucked up.
**UPDATE**
After spending the summer off, I found a better job with another software company. Bigger salary, better opportunity and less travel. I am happy to finally bury this in the past, but I thought I'd update TIFU with the good news. I'll be more careful this time.... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: emailed an important company client a thread where four co workers and myself mocked their team members on our project, got fired. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u1esk/tifu_emailed_an_important_company_client_a_thread/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337784695 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u123n | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u123n | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u123n/tifu_my_piano_test/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 61 | null | null | Today I took a piano test in front of room full of people. When I finsihed the judges said : "***, you know what we're about to say : you need to work more. It's a C". C is the worst mark you can get in my music school. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my piano test | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u123n/tifu_my_piano_test/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337756034 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u0olj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u0olj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u0olj/tifu_going_commando_to_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I work temporarily for a company that does outdoor remodeling/landscaping type things. Me and most of the other people there are college guys from the area just working for summer. Decided to wear some soccer shorts to work, my first poor decision. Then, decided that since it was hot, I might as well go commando. As soon as we arrived and started working I realized that I'm a moron for wearing soccer shorts but it's too late. Everything ended up going alright. This middle-aged woman who was the only one at home is just sitting outside reading while her dog is conveniently getting in everyone's way. I began walking with my arms full of those bricks you put around gardens. A lanyard was hanging out my pocket which the dog apparently decided he needed. As I'm about 20 feet from where I need to be, the dog runs up and yanks on the lanyard, the keys awkwardly catch on the cloth inside my pocket and my shorts drop to my knees before catching on my knee pads and the dog successfully acquires the lanyard. I'm standing there, no shirt, my shorts around my knees, no underwear and an armful of bricks not knowing what the hell to do. I just went, "I... I... I..." and one of my coworkers looked over (luckily a friend) and just started laughing. I dropped the bricks and fixed everything. I started laughing too, got my lanyard back and figured that me and my friend were the only ones who saw that shit. As we all go to leave, creepy middle-aged woman thanks us and then looks at me and winks. noooooooooooo | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Going commando to work | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u0olj/tifu_going_commando_to_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Spillanya | null | None | null | null | null | 1337748415 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u0jw7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u0jw7 | null | 27 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u0jw7/tifu_by_letting_my_boyfriend_drive_my_car/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 106 | null | null | [Oops.](http://i.imgur.com/hEF81.jpg) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by letting my boyfriend drive my car. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u0jw7/tifu_by_letting_my_boyfriend_drive_my_car/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337734416 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u07gk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u07gk | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u07gk/tifu_by_making_my_fapping_session_able_to_hear/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by making my fapping session able to hear... and I left open the stall door... so someone opened the door and saw me... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u07gk/tifu_by_making_my_fapping_session_able_to_hear/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | meaghanhall_ | null | None | null | null | null | 1337900046 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u3j12 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u3j12 | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u3j12/tifu_by_punching_myself_in_the_face_subsequent/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 50 | null | null | Yeah, I opened my eyes (still drowsy), thought my hand was a bee. I'm fucking terrified of bees, so in a panic, my arms flailed everywhere. I then punched myself in the nose and, due to my deviated septum, got a nosebleed. I should also mention my nose is pierced, so that's always fun. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by punching myself in the face (subsequent bloody nose) upon waking up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u3j12/tifu_by_punching_myself_in_the_face_subsequent/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337890801 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u3at2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u3at2 | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u3at2/tifu_i_got_caught_by_a_teacher/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | During a test I was not sure weather the country was Argentina or brazil. So i looked at the sheet of the girl sitting next to me to check. The girl next to me is very attract. After i check the answer the teacher is staring at me for 20 seconds. I finish the test and she tells me to not copy. I say i didn't copy anything (i didn't mention i checked). She says i was staring at something so if i wasn't staring at her test I must have been looking somewhere on her i shouldn't have since that's inappropriate. So she asks weather i cheated and i said no and she sighed.
TLDR: Cheated off a hot girl the teacher thought i was starring at the hot girls chest | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I got caught by a teacher | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u3at2/tifu_i_got_caught_by_a_teacher/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sarah-bellum | null | None | null | null | null | 1337875725 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u2x5e | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u2x5e | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u2x5e/tifu_spilled_a_couple_drops_of_soup_on_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 67 | null | null | Also stained a brand new dress. Well done, self. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Spilled a couple drops of soup on my keyboard, and in trying to clean it up, dumped half the bowl on my desk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u2x5e/tifu_spilled_a_couple_drops_of_soup_on_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337868128 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u2r26 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u2r26 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u2r26/tifu_emailed_60000_broken_html_emails_out_for_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I work as a web developer, Ive been at my current workplace for less than 4 months. I made some html/css emails for a client and the programme we usually test them in wasnt working so I tried to manually test them.
Mistake
60,000 broken emails (severely broken) went out to the customers of our client and I have a meeting about it tomorrow morning.
Balls | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Emailed 60,000 broken html emails out for a client | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u2r26/tifu_emailed_60000_broken_html_emails_out_for_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | paper_weights | null | None | null | null | null | 1337861293 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u2mxv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u2mxv | null | 43 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u2mxv/tifu_i_got_dirt_in_my_eye_and_promptly_stuck_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 272 | null | null | Consequence: Ow ow fuckity ow. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I got dirt in my eye, and promptly stuck a bleach-covered finger in there to get it out. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u2mxv/tifu_i_got_dirt_in_my_eye_and_promptly_stuck_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | LeucoLeuco | null | None | null | null | null | 1337852254 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u2j1d | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u2j1d | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u2j1d/tifu_by_accepting_a_challenge_to_drink_an_unknown/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | My friend had been carrying around a mysterious bottle of foamy brown liquid all day. I was sitting at lunch with three or four friends and he threw it in the middle of us. One yelled "ugh, that shit is disgusting! Drink it; I dare you!" After much hesitation, one of my friends took a sip. He then quickly yelled out in disgust and threw the bottle back into the circle. He then turned to the others and demand that they drink some. He looked at me, challenging me, and I, being the fearless bastard that I am when it comes to food, had a reputation to uphold. I grabbed that bottle and downed half of it in four seconds flat.
The taste wasn't so bad; like watered down orange juice that had been left overnight. But straight away I was feeling queasy.
I soon got a headache and bloating, and was extremely nauseous. I spent the rest of the day on the verge of vomiting. I've been burping something terrible and it smells like brandy; something I haven't been able to stomach the sight, smell, taste or thought of since a night when I downed an entire small concentrated bottle followed by some Jim Beam, concentrated gin and nangs. I spent the whole night power chucking in the shower until I finally passed out in my girlfriend-at-the-time's bed. A few hours later I was back to powerchucking in the bathroom, along with the worst spinning imaginable.
Every time I burp I have to live through that terrible memory all over again.
My friend said that the drink was a mixture of Coca Cola, Fanta, V energy drink, orange juice, tropical juice and "a few other things I don't remember". The Coke and Fanta were flat before they were even in the mix. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accepting a challenge to drink an unknown liquid and by showing off in the process. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u2j1d/tifu_by_accepting_a_challenge_to_drink_an_unknown/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337843345 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u2fe9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u2fe9 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u2fe9/tifu_i_put_a_hashtag_in_reddit/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I put a hash-tag in Reddit | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u2fe9/tifu_i_put_a_hashtag_in_reddit/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | TheRedditSurvivalist | null | None | null | null | null | 1337823839 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u214y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u214y | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u214y/tifu_finals/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Fucked up.
http://imgur.com/PqWrO | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU : Finals | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u214y/tifu_finals/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | m0lly | null | None | null | null | null | 1337990003 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u5a3t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u5a3t | null | 78 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u5a3t/tifu_dumped_a_girls_moms_ashes/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 224 | null | null | TIFU: I was messing around with her necklaces for awhile, looking at one that was half heart with "friend" on it...she knew I was playing with her necklaces cuz I was doing it for awhile...then I saw her locket, I thought there might be a cute picture of her and her boyfriend in it or something. It was oddly hard to open, so I worked at it for awhile and got it open. This grey powdery stuff fell out. I asked her what it was. She stared at me for a good 2 minutes, then told me that they were her mom's ashes. I said sorry about 50 times. Then she hugged me and left.
TL;DR: I was messing around with her necklaces and unknowingly pried open the locket containing her mother's ashes. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Dumped a girl's mom's ashes... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u5a3t/tifu_dumped_a_girls_moms_ashes/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Estranged_Noodle | null | None | null | null | null | 1337967596 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337970870 | null | False | null | u4rc8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u4rc8 | null | 221 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u4rc8/tifu_called_my_mom_a_nigger_today_and_im_white/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 156 | null | null | I got into an argument with my mom today. Long story short, I got into a rage and as she screamed back at me, I called her the n-word.
I immediately regret that decision because now she won't talk to me and didn't even pull the "I'm disappointed in you son;" instead, she told me that she has "never met someone so racially insensitive and disrespectful" and is in "disbelief" that she raised any of her sons that way.
My heart and soul is crushed.
EDIT - Still have coffee-colored poop and today was an icing on top. Sucks, my balls feel less powerful, and looking forward to a long, less-alcoholic fueled weekend. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Called my mom a nigger today and I'm white. Not only do I feel awful, but now my whole family thinks I'm racist | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u4rc8/tifu_called_my_mom_a_nigger_today_and_im_white/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | warrenlain | null | None | null | null | null | 1337934048 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338181125 | null | False | null | u47g6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u47g6 | null | 23 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u47g6/tifu_whilst_driving_70mph_on_the_freeway_the_iffy/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 57 | null | null | This thing flew up and covered my entire windshield (and by some miracle, the windshield did not crack). I eased off the accelerator and pulled to the shoulder when it was safe, driving blind the entire time. But when I got to the shoulder, it wasn't wide enough for my car and the room I needed for getting out to try to shut the hood again. Cars whizzed by, honking angrily while I thought to myself: "WTF DO YOU ALL WANT FROM ME," promptly slammed the hood down, and jumped back into my car to begin trying to merge back on the freeway in what had to have been no more than 4 seconds in that shoulder. I hoped and prayed it wouldn't happen again.
Somehow, I remained calm during the actual hood-flying-up-bit. I would have said I acted like a boss but it really was my own fault.
Edit: Warned by a few people to not use FB images - http://imgur.com/wWZbK | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Whilst driving 70MPH on the freeway, the iffy hood latch I neglected to fix for a year came undone. Picture proof of the aftermath. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u47g6/tifu_whilst_driving_70mph_on_the_freeway_the_iffy/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | uncla08 | null | None | null | null | null | 1337933604 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u478x | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u478x | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u478x/leaving_my_job/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Leaving my job | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u478x/leaving_my_job/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | Estranged_Noodle | null | None | null | null | null | 1337915409 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u3w2a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u3w2a | null | 39 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u3w2a/tifu_im_severely_lactoseintolerant_got_super/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 213 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I'm severely lactose-intolerant, got super fucked up this afternoon at a work party, and my colleagues ended up convincing me to drink unpasteurized yogurt. I'm now shitting snow-white while wrenching in constant, agonizing pain | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u3w2a/tifu_im_severely_lactoseintolerant_got_super/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | Mrninjamonkey | null | None | null | null | null | 1337914646 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u3ves | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u3ves | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u3ves/tifu_was_practicing_for_a_upcoming_longboard_race/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | I have always wanted to go to a downhill longboarding competition, but my parents had always forbade me from doing it. After a year of constant reassurance that it was safe enough and I had proper skill and safety equipment they finally gave me the ok. So I began practicing on this small run near my house....without a helmet...and I fell HARD about a week before the race. I ended up knocking myself loopy and had to get 8 staples in my head. After all the work I put into this, I now am NEVER allowed to compete ever. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: was practicing for a upcoming longboard race, broke head the week before. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u3ves/tifu_was_practicing_for_a_upcoming_longboard_race/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | aimlessinwonder | null | None | null | null | null | 1338065580 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u6ey4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u6ey4 | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u6ey4/tifu_by_knowingly_letting_my_friend_get_eaten_out/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 28 | null | null | I felt to awkward to interrupt their alone time to tell her that I had just found out he puked so I let it happen.
I'm an awful person. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by knowingly letting my friend get eaten out by a guy that had just vomited | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u6ey4/tifu_by_knowingly_letting_my_friend_get_eaten_out/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | RancidPonyMilk | null | None | null | null | null | 1338056727 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u68q8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u68q8 | null | 123 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u68q8/tifu_fingered_girlfriend_after_eating_ghostpepper/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 499 | null | null | It had been at least 30-40 minutes after and i had washed my hands but apparently that naga jolokia oil stays with you for hours. Things got a little "hot" later on and started fingering her and she started screaming and unzipped my pants and told me to fuck her. She didn't tell me she was in pain at first. Started burning like hell but I still had to come and led to a pretty intense orgasm. However I'm sure some of the oil got into my pee hole and we've both been contemplating suicide as we're all out of percocet.
tl;dr: fingered gf with hot pepper oil on fingers, she returned the favor by getting it on my dick by making me fuck her. super fucking painful. my neighbors probably think we're filming a porno with all the screaming and moaning | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: fingered girlfriend after eating ghost-pepper infused hot wings, then she made me fuck her, god the pain | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u68q8/tifu_fingered_girlfriend_after_eating_ghostpepper/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338005662 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u5kng | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u5kng | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u5kng/tifu_i_spent_167_on_computer_parts_and_a_game/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I spent all of the money I've had saved up to upgrade my computers [video card](http://www.evga.com/products/moreInfo.asp?pn=01G-P3-1526-KR&family=GeForce%20500%20Series%20Family&sw=) and [ram](http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820145184&Tpk=N82E16820145184) and then purchased Diablo 3 just to find this [list](http://us.battle.net/d3/en/forum/topic/4903441037) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | tifu: I spent $167 on computer parts and a game just to find out I can't play it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u5kng/tifu_i_spent_167_on_computer_parts_and_a_game/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1337996838 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u5epg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u5epg | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u5epg/tifu_i_work_at_mcdonalds_and_accidentally_gave_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I know it's not a big deal but I felt terrible about it for some reason for a while and I want to get it off my chest. I'm sorry sweet old man, but someone brewed tea in a coffee pot and I didn't notice the difference :( | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I work at McDonald's and accidentally gave a nice old man a cup of hot tea instead of coffee. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u5epg/tifu_i_work_at_mcdonalds_and_accidentally_gave_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | strappingyoungpeople | null | None | null | null | null | 1338161830 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u7wop | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u7wop | null | 65 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u7wop/tifu_by_leaving_a_vibrator_in_too_long_lost_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 197 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by leaving a vibrator in too long, lost the cord in my anus, then had to poop it out and clean it off in a public restroom | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u7wop/tifu_by_leaving_a_vibrator_in_too_long_lost_the/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | scoopdugan | null | None | null | null | null | 1338152581 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u7q23 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u7q23 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u7q23/tifu_i_walked_into_a_place_station_in_a_drunken/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I walked into a place station in a drunken haze and under an alias reported my self for posession and hate crimes. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u7q23/tifu_i_walked_into_a_place_station_in_a_drunken/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | ineedtousespaces | null | None | null | null | null | 1338150368 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u7oib | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u7oib | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u7oib/tifu_heard_about_how_i_tried_to_punch_a_friend_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | I'm a pretty mild-mannered guy when sober and drunk. But, apparently last night I was so gone that I don't remember leaving the club, don't remember climbing upstairs into my female friend's apartment and bedroom, and don't remember trying to punch a male friend in the face while they were moving me from my friend's room into the living room so she could go to sleep. Apparently I was inches away from his face because he felt the wind from my swinging fist.
The one girl I like was there and she was shocked, saying, "I've never seen you like that." Strike one. The guy I tried to punch was supposedly fine with me the next day after realizing how wasted I was and "forgave" me; he doesn't respond to my texts about hanging out or working out anymore. Strike two. I feel like a douchebag for having done that and it's my fault, but, knowing people look at me differently is destroying my psyche. Strike three.
Don't tell me I'm the only one to have done this, right? *smh* | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Heard about how I tried to punch a friend in the face while drunk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u7oib/tifu_heard_about_how_i_tried_to_punch_a_friend_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | galico | null | None | null | null | null | 1338131226 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u7bje | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u7bje | null | 104 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u7bje/tifu_drank_my_mums_30_year_old_whisky/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 178 | null | null | Actually, last night I fucked up. '86 bottle of Famous Old Grouse mostly gone. It gets better though, she won the bottle in the height of her horse racing career for racing for England. Dope. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drank my Mum's 30+ year old whisky | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u7bje/tifu_drank_my_mums_30_year_old_whisky/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Tohroe | null | None | null | null | null | 1338114041 | null | None | self.tifu | 1338115433 | null | False | null | u755j | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u755j | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u755j/tifu_i_tried_to_put_out_a_fire_with_130_proof_rum/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 55 | null | null | A few coals fell off a barbecue onto the dry, leafy ground around it. I panicked a little (I'm really not good in situations such as these), and grabbed the nearest liquid to put it out, which just so happened to have a *very* high alcohol content. Went up in flames quite beautifully until my friend poured some water on it and stamped it out. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I tried to put out a fire with 130 proof rum. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u755j/tifu_i_tried_to_put_out_a_fire_with_130_proof_rum/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | kungPOWchickeen | null | None | null | null | null | 1338112672 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u74s9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u74s9 | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u74s9/tifu_almost_got_caught_during_sexy_time_by_my_gfs/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 21 | null | null | Im 20 and my gf is 19..
sexy time had started and everything was cool... we decided that for a change we would do it somewhere else other than the bedroom so we got going in the living room.
fully naked and finished the foreplay just about to insert then the front door opens.. me being a man with quick reactions pushed her on the floor and got dressed in about 2 seconds, meanwhile gf ran off to hide in the bathroom (with no clothes).. they walked in and knew exactly what was happening then to my embarrassment her eldest sister nicely pointed out that my tshirt was inside out. excellent! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU almost got caught during sexy time by my gf's sisters | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u74s9/tifu_almost_got_caught_during_sexy_time_by_my_gfs/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338103042 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u71tt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u71tt | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u71tt/tifu_dropped_a_table_on_my_foot_then_proceeded_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 55 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - dropped a table on my foot, then proceeded to break my car key which resulted in me limping my way home from work after a 14 hour shift. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u71tt/tifu_dropped_a_table_on_my_foot_then_proceeded_to/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1338102842 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | u71ro | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_u71ro | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/u71ro/tifu_i_told_one_of_my_best_friends_that_i_have_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | I've liked him for a while now and I just thought: fuck it. I need to get balls. We go to the same college, but live in different states so face-to-face wasn't exactly an option. And it's like, 3 AM, so naturally he's asleep and I'm just being a weird person. So I just left him a voicemail. And now I feel really stupid, so I thought, why not submit to TIFU?
Because today, I probably fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I told one of my best friends that I have a crush on him over a voicemail message. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/u71ro/tifu_i_told_one_of_my_best_friends_that_i_have_a/ | null | null | null | null |