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need vent im year old guy want try pour thought something mirror piece paper im tired everything alone ive made lot poor decision life granted nothing criminally bad ive trying turn thing around late homeschooled entire childhood parent put minimal effort raising educating grew sheltered led withdrawn anxious selfdependent attended community college two year dropped told wouldnt assist financially university studying towards something little interest decided instead start working fulltime better putting massive debt didnt even want work field studying worked hard save money could next couple year moved last january moving ended fixing anything working field people twice age shared little interest reserved stressed ever try expand social life outside work realized finally several year year long spat one close friend selfish throughout friendship spent night awake helping tough spot needed never would constantly put situation tried talk ended quitting job several month spent time finally becoming comfortable interest identity figured longterm plan im back living parent paying rent try keep dont much relationship point civil im hoping spend next month studying sat working im going try put year college come next spring incredibly daunting stressful knew hard would know ive got persevere damn difficult ive accepted ive messed lot turn thing around want everything ive already done knowing ive got several year ahead loneliness brutal ive overcome depression ive dealt since kid aspect loneliness im tired one share moment one care one care return effort blind hope doesnt help either hope ill succeed study get college ill successfully get college land job actually dont hate move towards better life debt spending next several year broke work ill several year older everyone college ill working crappy job meantime ive never relationship dont friend point dont family meaningfully talk im dumb fault ive made stride towards feeling better im still nowhere close happy ive got push hope make work right suck read im genuinely appreciative like said wanted try put thought somewhere different change maybe nothing give little motivation ive lurked around long enough anyway cheer anyone want need someone vent ill try

self.depression

stopped lamotrigine due allergy pdoc want try lithium go sure im meeting next week discus med havent figured reacted sound likely lamotrigine lithium high maintenance med doesnt sound like there much leeway done stupid shit like double dosed lamictal twice year brainfogged extremely stressed forget dos time time etc best effort really take optimal condition make mistake mean cant many distraction stressor life unlikely dont best executive function dont want worry dehydration need distracted something wont paying close enough attention getting get blood drawn whole story im pretty anxious tried lot thing ruled lot med already im medicated really hard time thinking clearly

self.bipolar

vocal message trigger anxiety title say time matter sends see received vocal message suddenly feel anxious happens anyone cope

self.Anxiety

know im going die car accident bad feeling ive week wont fault car going hit head kill impact job pretty much grocery delivering high risk dying crash wish didnt job didnt need job afford car guess im tied road approaching death

self.Anxiety

suggestion handle feeling terribly lonely like get lonely night im asking advice meet folk handle night night alone combined feeling hopeless dating last year

self.depression

new job stressing need adviceto vent hired october big retail chain quit cafe job week due constant panic attack yes horrible anxiety inducing applied work clothing area store hired cashier wasnt going full time since ive getting hour week today first day working hour day day row feel exhausted agreed hour customer job entitled rude full im shy social anxiety make job worse pretty much hate except lot people work manager really rude uncaring main manager rude whenever see shes working day want leave family coming christmas havent seen year every day theyll im working day day well together christmas tried talking manager basically told theyre anything hour people work complained getting hour requested well im angry day family coming im working hour next day work day next day christmas eve thing told manager taking class starting first week january response well mean look schedule youre probably gon na get amount want agree im anxious feel trapped way visit family cant quit highest paying job ive ever feel upset

self.Anxiety

could hi im wondering good bad day go time ive depression within last year week sadness start school year like time im fine right im little time ill think damn friend life horrible thinking im happy right lot people talking feel like somethings wrong also feel like lazy stupid changed behaviour id fine ugh

self.depression

promised year ago summer trip europe depression led panic attack suicide attempt ive since recuperated depressed promised would never get state got europe sake family sake newly born time sister eve sister third birthday wallowing pondering point living ive like month gotten worse sometimes think thing keeping alive promise im hypocrite feel ignored hate taking others attention time dont really know anymore im scared one day im going end sorry im melodramatic

self.SuicideWatch

birthday still want die big day feel guilty happy wanting enjoy want shut everyone sleep remember used happy birthday coming dont want celebrate anymore

self.depression

cope bad day ive dealing depression ten year ive medication citalopram majority time lately seems like lifting bad day like used wondering people cope difficult time thanks advance help

self.depression

nothing interesting anymorei dont fun anything even im typing feel like withered husk soul still chipped away atat school im miserableat home im alone thought nothing interest nothing give spark got ur kid discover something new even playing favorite game gotten completely boringis life keep living gon na girlfriend hardly friend anymore irl know family might upset really ceased existence pretty much benefit everyoneno dont need something dont gut anything still life garbage

self.depression

every time go sleep small hope never wake deleted

self.depression

random extreme passion bipolar thing deleted

self.bipolar

stopped initiating conversation friend month since talked forgot birthday wish wasnt lonely someone talk

self.depression

made quilt formulated plan another day ordered material different day made front quilt couple week later shopped good back quilt fabric week later fancy sewing attach back front today binding project didnt try finished

self.bipolar

got dumped boyfriend one year broke last night week christmas discussing thing relationship dissatisfied affectionate taking initiative planning time spent together finally asked even wanted relationship point life said dont know later confirmed couldnt needed right wasnt ready commitment im kind shocked lot pain trying bawl eye work encouragement would appreciated thank

self.bipolar

moving ever helped anyone texas ive never felt home texas maybe bad memory growing involving family issue friend girlfriend see family holiday im also currently unemployed quit job october ive thinking moving somewhere colder tired tx heat somewhere different somewhere attractive female hopefully since want get married eventually feel hopeless state many people religiousoverweight ive always felt like place home im trying runaway issue im honestly afraid im going end killing stay dont want end old alone family anyone experience feeling way moved

self.depression

bad day upped antidepressant paxil went mg mg night two week ago definitely dont feel better yet today worst ive felt extremely unmotivated distracted tired heavy lonely sky look fucking weird dont feel like wanted get friend dont always understand

self.depression

anyone else wake gasping air came back home winter break stressful semester awful anxiety diagnosed cant handle woken mom every time wake wake scared confused gasping air lot time wake clue hell dont know simply im used woken alarm dorm room anxiety guy experienced anxiety thing

self.Anxiety

im bp need share cheer everyone living bp need rant get maybe support past everyone including considered visionary double energy everybody else young businessman huge potential started business rushed greatly working hour day several month future front couldnt happier intelligent always put pressure life goalsaccomplishments suddenly went burnout lost company money like rewatching movie life started business got terrible suicidal depression first one like barely made right im drowning debt selling everything im lying family everything okay theyre wealthy mean also terrible memory keep forgetting everything best open relationship girl who awesome mo move together woke one morning suddenly dont love im dumping know golden temporary right sometimes feel like much bear thank reading support comment altogether anyone struggling wish best luck

self.bipolar

dont know take antidepressantsim really scared ive requested two week work bad anxiety depression im going spend parent house try recover see feel previously diagnosed adhd teenager well believe maybe symptom coming back really wanted go try wellbrutin went see gp today mentioned longer use uk people died mainly woman use thing like contraception ive instead prescribed sertraline ive read online mainly negative result tried citalophram past really bad side effect bed sweat nausea panic attack etc know effect sertraline slightly similar ive got time try least know different drug different effect people dont really know im panicking stop going work panic attack ive avoiding people much possibly doesnt help work retail

self.depression

anyone norcal wan na shoot head ill supply gun course ill even buy pizza whatever

self.SuicideWatch

feel like problem everyone know went christmas party first time got hair makeup done still thought looked like garbage makeup cant fix ugly im uncomfortable cant drink alcohol loosen im pregnant see talking much slimmer prettier woman dont trust since cheated lied many time course comment yelled cried ruined night supposed night nobody talk doesnt understand get always cause problem low self worth nobody want around cant seem even act positive around people idea make friend longer hobby interest feel alone dont think there anything live anymore thank reading

self.depression

cry day v angry day yesterday angry day trying catch angry thought respond better havent mastered yelled today im cry day cant work cant concentrate feel like worse cant function husband think angry day worse yell tip toe around least get stuff done im angry day isnt competition feel like today worse yesterday husband think opposite want stable day want functional day

self.bipolar

nothing like listening sad shit unleashing rainstorm tear great time friend talking trash getting wasted together one day going back home coldplay everythings lost repeat blaring car stereo day bawling eye like someone fucking died day trying sing lyric breaking getting lost part rainy bleak cold fucking piece shit day wondering sort meeting ever happen fail grasp switch somewhere ive told anything there got ta something change fucking someth wrong cant even appreciate good fucking day miserable piece shit smile bit goddammit stop listening sad shit time cunt go metal angry mad dont break love fuck dont

self.depression

went teacher school everything much worse dont know life failing school dont motivation work im getting suicidal thought often friend im apparently quite funny guy shit school said bad next exam literally like couple day time post get kicked nowhere go live family big house grandparent well dad brother family life opposite u well family across street quite well guess went teacher told feeling im sure guess worried exam told life home depression u want call called talk head year contacted parent even though told would talk didnt contact parent liked teacher friend felt quite betrayed kinda made despise going people help first time id ever talked anyone feeling wanted stay u least school fucking weekly check ups shit help go talk school psychiatrist dont even know tell feeling going help talk mindfulness cure depression ive month see change open minded least fuck sake man wow may seem like im little bitch whatever im bad expressing feeling yeah went people help betrayed trust made whole situation worse first last time also im failing school fucking crushing demoralising parent going disappointed fail dream become film director really like game film also martial art probably one thing stop killing lot suicidal thought wasnt martial art honestly dont know would thats saying lot considering im shit position fuck sake life hard man dont want fair fuck dont know im asking want someone listen give advice guess thank

self.SuicideWatch

new sub made specifically depressed fellow make new friend removed

self.depression

craziest fear throwing dont know havent thrown year long whenever stomach start feeling weird get incredibly anxious get scared going throw soon food poisoning going make throw end time get bad either really throw hasnt happened im anxiety attack im sure differentiate two happened tonight happened time last month bolt bathroom nothing happens try calm ive somewhat sensitive stomach st time acid reflux get bad feel nauseous lot time regardless especially time year weather keep changing time year live im really sure like treat right feel kind okay still kind nervous throwing soon think ill okay

self.Anxiety

dont want kid dont want experience depression im ive already made mind im never going kid cant stomach thought passing depression grow parent struggling depression wouldnt fair

self.depression

med making sleepy go work come home nap least two hour cant stay awake day without nap want awake till bed time nap dont anything feel lethargic sick

self.depression

im tired existing marginalized nothing change mind im going thanksgiving taking plunge im tired life either im ignored perceived worthless im tired alone surviving day day tried strong easy anymore

self.SuicideWatch

whats humane way oneself people say love care tbh died wont make difference anyones life im unimportant fly wall

self.SuicideWatch

anxiety starting discussion family rant trouble talking parent im f living home going college close sense light conversation even sometimes deeper stuff pertaining everything difficult health bigger dreamsaspirations schooling decision relationship etc huge emphasis relationship year ago found relationship someone met online family never open discussing relationship extremely awkward imagine surprise told last june relationship also fact met online mother rather clingy took harshly think feel shes losing verbal attack ensued telling even though ive seeing therapist would never change regard anxiety would unable handle traveling visit boyfriend telling barely know im private person dont like share thing basically whenever conservation turn huge deal get anxiety talk travel plan like im constantly met negativity even came visit stayed family week extremely charming polite guy conversation went well even huge milestone never ask casually feel extremely uncomfortable bringing scared reaction unfortunately creates loop awkwardness tension ultimately silence side basically backstory way dont know start conversation family know need tell something let anxiety boil build inside cant sit still start pacing room small light conversation would make le awkward side anxiety prevents saying anything dont ask question either im going honest conversation tomorrow per advice therapist goddammit difficult

self.Anxiety

one give shit poor people dont fucking see majority people arent fucking poor first place im nearly fucking homeless barely making skin teeth little nothing going mounting debt somehow majority fucking people arent dealing shit dont fucking get earth life turn fucking shitty yet somehow everyone else way better know lot people situation see em around like fucking invisible nobody give shit u nobody fucking think fact end fucking situation goddamn country bad enough warrant massive change one think fucking problem million two couple hundred million fact fucking disgust majority write human life easily bad fucking credit education fucking debt saving identity theft somehow shit doesnt seem fucking problem others fucking bleakness world almost enough drive go mass homicidal rampage thats fucking ridiculous shit feel like never fucking place expect better quality life shit get worse fucking know know people sleeping outside tonight fucking dc car shit im yet jesus fucking christ ever unlucky piece shit going pay horribly bullshit grateful life least wish death disaster upon country institution run destitution may never fucking emerge hopelessness thats life fucking endless feedback loop fucking problem lead one another zero legitimate reason even stay alive fucking hell im surviving yet ever get point life trying survive im going go way hurt rich bastard keep every cent kill unfortunate minority one give shit theyre

self.depression

possible successful bipolar medical professional ask feel incredibly hopeless prospect ill brief context premedical student struggled depression throughout college knew didnt deserve almost lost scholarship manic episode came nowhere junior year grade werent great im probably target demographic dr miller get medical school low gpa cant focus academic even im working time study mcat majored studio art give peace mind face constant stress im still absolute shit working without mind projecting traumatic experience mania onto everything thought found system emotional stability loving partner unconditional care new sense selflove art knowledge gained diy interdisciplinary curriculum easy fuck im coming undone week horrible experience ecuador suppose visit family ended losing abuela fatal bus accident dont expect medical school application cycle actual work traumatic worry im unstable fragile go sort graduate school parent pressuring hurry despite fact there real rush lazy wanting learn take care get medical school triumphant defeating obstacle racism mental health stigma manicdepressive episode want good doctor feel like middling edgelord thats burden partner constant pity family friend know stuff clinical experience know mix art science nothing cant stay fucking psych ward im religious person try keep alive nourishing soul positivity there anyone share experience sort tale academia working adult managing stress fine welcome sharing appreciate time even im posting first time lurking long

self.bipolar

mom planned appointment diagnostic center without reading review full alternative medicine bullshit finally told name first thing check review online every place found rating highlight diagnose multiple people metal toxicity thats whats causing mental symptom say standing tip toe treat anxiety medical doctor chiropractor prescribe healing crystal fake medicine shit seem absolute scam many people paid testing never received result also people paid never even got fucking door mom found place dr phil really dislike dr phil dont know weve already put deposit whole thing go hope turn well back im pretty desperate point

self.bipolar

first time psychologist visit bit scared today visit psychologist parent first time lot trouble expressing especially stranger problem session psychologist guide conversation

self.depression

dont think deserve live total freak used bizarre urge fantasy violated sort thing feel like person doesnt deserve live never told anyone would shameful dont think could carry life spent month feeling ashamed used want happen im sure addicted porn find saying better weinstein cosby morally never ever done anything anyone without consent ever ive never seen child porn ever even tried look want walk front train keep rationalising head go want something quick like bullet head

self.SuicideWatch

im cry ny eve im quarter life crisis hate introverted shy personality depression anxiety dont help quit lot thing mix havent accomplished thing want accomplish coz hate hate life hope wake dead tomorrow happy new year

self.depression

bipolar hypomanic phase help hi im bipolar hypomanic state couple month cant take anxiety feel like cant breath chest pain get panic attack new symptom started scare feeling claustrophobia intense feel like stretch take clothes scarey wake thing think make better cut open skin make roomand know cant hallucination dellusions actively psychotic need advice

self.bipolar

cant take anymore oh god gon na mess type ive struggled whole array different thing whole life get hard keep pushing want die plan wanted wanted could time im plagued suicidal thought depression anxiety dysphoria im trans feel worthless ive abused whole life parent mom kicked staircase parent always tell im fucked future trouble believing skill would really help life im completely hopeless trapped im nobody care hate hate body hate want relief pain want happy help

self.SuicideWatch

dae delayed psuedoflashbacks feel similar disassociation still feel plenty quite like best explanation keep replaying short clip head involuntarily could anything happened within past minute doesnt obstruct going day example im checking people hotel im mentally replaying earlier interaction head still job idk explained coherent manner please ask there anything could clearer

self.Anxiety

loss vision couldnt walk anxiety attack st birthday couple friend came town went dinner drink afterwards smoked bunch pot regular smoker smoked decent amount night quite high decided take tram back thats thing started feel weird pee quite bad decided hold sitting tram facing wrong direction started get anxious feeling vision started gradually slowly become blurry time attributed high tired pee expecting simply pas sounded alarm bell look screen display tram stop couldnt read word anymore thought getting dizzy told friend needed get tram soon tram stopped within next moment proceeded walk took couple step lost control leg caught friend held trying lie point realized almost completely lost vision everything giant white blur told really needed pee tried carry tree control body able respond ended peeing pant could bring tree sat within second regained vision normal consciousness still felt quite weird rest night nothing like episode experienced next couple day mostly normal large group friend visiting good time episode made slightly anxious every prior history anxiety disorder mental illness know episode could anything nothing remember feeling strong sense anxiety tram ride time attributing little paranoid pot wasnt concerned started lose vision anyone heard similar experience id happy provide information want know ignore incident unless something like happens symptom larger problem like anxiety disorder thanks taking time read

self.Anxiety

help college student example neurodiversity science fiction tv deleted

self.bipolar

talked insurance crisis line today suicidal ideation offered emergency room needed wish knew much cost kaiser deleted

self.SuicideWatch

despite life success therapy medication anxiety still ruining life im afraid kill eventually despite unlucky thing life occurring back back back almost every reason feel least ok full scholarship phd molecular biology salary health insurance small home im attractive intelligent person live great city despite regular therapy medication anxiety still ruining life along anxiety come derealization disorder severe comorbid depression im sure handle high functioning individual career demanding cant focus single thing brain foggy pea soup im near constant state panic know thought cyclical intrusive bad day feel like get relief im going med change mentioned pretty bad thing happened short succession cant get back functional focus good maybe temporary ill figure doctor help lot grit perseverance right feel like life im little rant perspective even positive thought appreciated thread helpful

self.Anxiety

want die im coming ecstasy smoking pot nonstop day havent taken haldol pill two week im hallucinating came hour long severe psychotic episode boyfriend found doesnt understand im mad didnt answer hour ive repeatedly reminded randomly disappearing make anxious know maybe im irrational thinking taking life tonight im going nowhere life anyways hear girl voice head telling come felt taste death earlier episode beautiful im going thirst ever reach tired living agony never going happy screwed human never even brought earth many thing would went better many people never existed existence painful want please

self.SuicideWatch

depression making hate job used love month ago full anxiety stress find putting minimal effort ive looking job im dreading interview process feel like cant even well anywhere else sure sound like depression im aware enough notice get

self.depression

someone explain stay alive deleted

self.SuicideWatch

struggling since young started young always left home alone parent would work aunt would pick sister watch house left home alone wasnt forgotten intentionally left behind naturally growing rather introverted developed crippling social anxiety worse would become physically ill frozen social situation even speaking family felt unwanted unsafe unable speak mind sometime unable speak around abuse began parent divorced mother getting custody dad getting custody sister month apart moved back together financial reason toxic home parent fought every night id hide day cry night prompted dad begin beating later started drinking heavily adding alcoholism problem one night got drunk tried strangle couldnt tell mother goodnight anxiety left speechless unable tell wrapped hand around throat squeezed lifted ground eventually stopped let drop lost conciousness left house ran far could policeman found took home tried get word explain happened couldnt speak day later mentioned teacher school cps visited house never even tried talk absolutely nothing day family bring made story dad choking got cps called house course hr denies either memory loss protect cycle continues year attempted suicide tried drown aunt pool found floating called paramedic resuscitated told accident following graduation high school started first job made first friend one cried eye told story including suicide attempt said oh suck walked away lost faith getting help remained friend year changed job went back friend social interaction emotion boiling point life im angry sad suicidal depressed numb complacent barely making day job shuts bankruptcy live parent spending day day staring wall ceiling lose pound dont even want get bed eat becomes truly painful hunger looking back cant forgive parent watching nothing never even asked alright could answer truthfully ask suicide attempt number happens diabetic attempted overdose insulin lowest back didnt check blood sugar night didnt want know could tell couldnt walk drag glucagon eventually gain strength apply job go one job genuinely enjoyed got fired one despised leading recent suicide attempt december attempt slit throat mother walk blood run neck ive made inch cut far didnt enough damage anything stitch point finally decided needed help get admitted psychiatric hospital first long time see life actually getting better dont remember happier time hospital sadly didnt stay way even med im prozak trileptal seeing psychiatrist quarterly feel like im back started hospital admittance bought first firearm always interested hold high respect firearm safety even though feel though im becoming suicidal opted let go instead sell brother law im unemployed still living parent man abused physically emotionally woman watched accepted feel like may nearing lowest dont plan anything yet im trying using everything ive learned keep head water right know post extremely long ive holding year finally decided let

self.SuicideWatch

weird alive dont feel like living dont get excited anything friend get exited suck

self.depression

hate people say need open deleted

self.depression

fucking give life anyone want attempt help please

self.SuicideWatch

dead side year real life support someone talk guess deleted

self.SuicideWatch

ketamine treatment cost ago question ketamine treatment feel free review post feel inclined finally spoke finance people state insurance wont cover treatment cover ketamine lozenge youre supposed take weekly prescription total cost total treatment may need multiple treatment year paid upfront provide access one many medical credit card last time use one interest word taking advantage poor ill claim success rate stay med although pdoc may lower depending response treatment read study sent along relative helped analyze data ketamine trial dc result promisingfor major depressive disorder ptsd although study brain scan suggested yes know read efficacy bipolar disorder study limited ive read effective ect think snake oil im leery cureall especially one high rate success im saying dont obviously would discussed medical provider always youre poor youre american least part country accessible ill honest thought symptom relief little tear year im tired unfortunately due cost receiving treatment thought would let guy know oh something else read spoke doctor effective administration ketamine iv nasal spray like proven effective placebo youre work great im glad keep science support end day care science without proof meaningless thats get though understanding demanding analytical data

self.bipolar

meeting girlfriend parent first time sweet jesus went got table restaurant waiting show trying avoid going full panic mode

self.Anxiety

gun head tear cheek blood hand left alone darkness waiting end

self.depression

never love love much six year ive obsessed ill never enough deserves better know would never work always mind dream past month dream every night always turn nightmare longer want go sleep night really devastating go asshole better guess used love music every song reminds went another girl recently ended quickly couldnt focus girl constantly thinking cry sleep every night want die never cant stand much longer want die die may love note im fully suicidal think getting

self.SuicideWatch

im severery drunk gon na try slit wrist tonigt deleted

self.SuicideWatch

cant make write protocol work ive known week stare computer screen anxiety build go something elsethe anxiety build go home anxiety follows grows bed time nears manage sleep nightmare get bedlate work cycle repeat

self.Anxiety

day silence sleeping well tired managed get outside today walk kid saw waved said hi didnt even know formulate word response manage wave smile hope smile anyway spend enough time silence eventually voice startle

self.depression

there definitely something wrong dont know deleted

self.depression

ehhh think started cult feel like shit like didnt really intend thought saying truth dont know like im honest maybe thats dangerous dont know part want sequester enjoy helping ppl feel good feel like im movie highlander im coursing power im blind consequence part think im dangerous deserve die time want live love find beauty life almost like hyper manic hypomanic time im talking bouncing world

self.depression

im tired friend havent made friend five year tried making friend online one really talk back looking job going interview one hire im failing college class dont feel passionate interest anymore cant drive cant even take care im dependent parent im twenty january never sex kissed anyone keep telling tomorrow new day yet im still right ive trying make thing better ive going therapy ive put med nothing changed ive sent psych ward twice already im tired

self.depression

another job interview actual fuck job interview account forgot password different company though basically get early small place theyre interviewing another person overhear hire person basically im sitting wondering im even still interview anyway waste minute time asking talk knowledge company think could contribute tell dont enough experience job fucking office assistant job legitimately sending email getting coffee enough experience ive done past year know reason fucking hired someone else front fuck waste time lie begin human legitimately disgusting doesnt even make miserable angry people lie waste time kindness heart

self.depression

give well future ruined one nothing future one nothing im disappointment piece shit whats point anymore im done motivation keep going might well kill self way make stop

self.depression

bought love doll ive never made purchase like wonder mean im weird dont want sex well sex physical touch im time something cuddle would nice weird freaky ive posted rdepression rmorbidquestions people generally told could unhealthy saying could make relating real partner harder road dont know wanted something new experience

self.SuicideWatch

nearly week still feel like shit guy get outta went drink couple walk around park ive even couple friend meal still feel like shit anyone got idea actually happy

self.depression

want friend like real life friend couple friend online guess one hug fuck dont even need irl friend someone call facetime maybe one day visit dont know im fucking lonely dont know havent friend literally year heart hurt want someone

self.depression

stuck party im stuck party talking one obviously drinking slowly follow everyone else wan na get drunk dont walk back boyfriend lonely especially know people feel like outcast one like boyfriend friend like always feel lonely im utterly bored saddened

self.depression

anyone else experience anxiety insane lately much ive sought psychiatric help start cbt therapy two week time latest symptom includes weird phantom pain around body ill get headache chest discomfort arm pain gum pain come go really weird anyone else anything else like driving nut deal

self.Anxiety

anxiety fuck stay sullen angry ruminate whole day fucked morning

self.Anxiety

youve taken geodon ap guess normal hi noticing missed dos geodon casuing withdrawal symptom rather quickly example missed dos weekend seems miss dose withdrawal symptom kick next dose im used symptom happening quickly missed dose know short half life damn anyone else

self.bipolar

read book cant focus depression took energy argument mother stupid thing took word personal lost energy supposed read book dont energy anymore

self.depression

letter future self self love dear future b letter may fragmented letter may short may long letter may emotional importantly letter show stay grounded despite rush emotion experience feel vulnerable falsely unloved everything thought knew since day october st become unraveled within last fourteen hour hard find word sum order save time space within letter letter also specific event far youve come play able deal whatever future may bring admitted morning g sense clarity evaporates begin feel vulnerable lead selffulfilling prophecy exact neediness exhibit exact opposite youd like therefore lead feeling ever needy listen validated someone ability lack thereof love sometimes simply far healing process youve managed understand importance detachment youre making wonderful progress hope point still progressing existence okay healthy live solely another human remember incomplete without someone however someone enhance already relationship consists two people working together whole yet existing sense wholeness outside relationship important remember rest life remember felt vulnerable week ago sometime november wanted dive texting boy order make feel better remember didnt kept clarity understood coping mechanism dont forget youve done time exceptional understand future bri may encounter setback wellbeing might well roulette wheel thats exactly letter youve told luminous shine bright heart almost huge potential great thing illness insecurity grave lay one day consist nobody else world end survive keep mind every single day work self love understand worth yes g make feel like important girl world let need understand important girl world youre done putting interest aside receive love nightday youre done getting angry phone getting response quickly youre done feeling unimportant unloved youre someone first priority month half since breakup transformed beginning taken step right direction future b need look back whether shes good spot time need know even though may point life envisioned something feel like he pulling away dont push harder feel like want run order silence overwhelmingly surfacing insecurity understand make thing better understand amplified expressing coping mechanism order deal underlying issue issue isnt doesnt love make unloveable understand get mindset lose grasp clarity someone moving mountain fill hole pain person face earth fill hole capability moving mountain remember thing continue research continue taking time continue setting phone hour time continue living life letting others play part center role youre star life lead show family friend boyfriend colleague play role story importantly play lead role story similarly character learn appreciate silence learn appreciate bit loneliness solitude selflove includes coming home work take hot bath drink glass red wine rushing whoevers house order feel loved someone else loved appropriately love first isnt like start taking advice ive given many people entire life love respect appreciate time respect others respect others need space live love love b

self.depression

im done cant anymore dont plan dont live see post history want context tldr made huge mistake cost shot happy reason stick around long thanks bullshit

self.SuicideWatch

lot conflicting emotion rant today strange day guess really started couple day ago bit hypomanic period last couple day probably triggered date ended going yesterday going anxiety built much getting nauseous passed date showed end date went well made plan another today woke feeling pretty ok went counseling appointment dredged old feeling fighting beginning twinge depression day tomorrow nephew birthday want excited prospect around family starting break heart wish could hide wish could go back feeling yesterday

self.bipolar

im useful use infact since im deaf parent buy cochlear implant upgrade seems selfish costing parent thousand dollar dad unemployed mom losing job april nothing going well im depressed none friend take seriously since im always one trying happy even though cover please help cant handle life much

self.SuicideWatch

anyone else find need constantly headphone use headphone retreat work like create bubble day also need constantly home noise anxiety im also afraid neighbor every little noise make make gut wrench anxiety freak cant tolerate noise inside outside home wake kick anxiety cycle sleep never good recent event control constant alert result ive got headphone like day night anyone else use tool even started watching tv act earplug well listening device dont want hear thing make anxious doesnt help live close fire house

self.Anxiety

suffering lappel du vide call void hello everyone im creating thread really need help problem im suffering call lappel du vide example disorder make sudden degree turn driving jumping cliff also call suicidal ideation im driving approximately year everything fine month ago im suicidal im driving feel like urge make sudden degree turn even worse im driving highway im also aware driver around would really selfish kind move month ill drive lot really need get rid worst part excited drive suffer really need talk someone came first adviceshelp getting rid disorder

self.Anxiety

losing sleep seem put pickle hard get sleep night usually fall asleep around even im bed pm finally fall asleep nothing wake im ready usually around ive way whole life always taken toll way worse live alone started new job month ago shift usually start ive already late twice instilled awful anxiety make even harder fall asleep third night row havent actually slept since late second time four day ago currently make work know wont rest tonight every time start fall asleep panic jolt awake want rest dont know sleep ive gotten short nap im starting feel sick remember thing said im sure post doesnt even make sense guess im looking advice stay awake day get little sleep get

self.Anxiety

really bad social anxiety triggering auditory hallucination ever get auditory hallucination anxiety triggered another person ive period ive done something wrong hear dad screaming even though asleep home ive woken sound parent fighting even though werent hear police outside door night whenever see police car drive walk home first time actually noticed correleation anxiety regard people auditory hallucination weekend though started hearing roommate friend invited party house talking ive heard several time since moved almost sure real still really upsetting suppose least thankful voice hear never talking talk

self.Anxiety

crazy starting shine friend didnt answer message yesterday brain started working overtime wrote weird needy message course made worse ive laying awake bed hour analyzing every single interaction past month say something guess deep inside know he busy brain body going crazy feel sick afraid getting fired reason wrote crazy email bos made worse even though wrote back reassurance message wont get fired still feel afraid go work crazy starting shine im afraid ruin life im sweating feeling sick stomach want hide world every thing good month hitting hard right dont know im starting weird friend colleague dont know anxiety understand alternate totally withdrawn really trying one big excuse every single night overanalyze conversation interaction im tired

self.Anxiety

insane panic attack today thought going mad

self.Anxiety

rather die go school tomorrow cant escape school forever run away commitment forever end simple jump water tried overdosing failed drowning sure method going

self.SuicideWatch

short man need help alright im super drunk right im feeling depressed need vent ive really working hard overcome symptom depression celebrated one year therapy kind crappy night need let somewhere im month away turning feel like cant escape fact im short man im somewhere foot three five foot five opinion utterly destroyed chance happiness ever admit matter hard try change mindset sense self worth entirely dependent people opinion especially woman find attractive rule woman find attractive want nothing short man lead spending two catastrophic year relationship abusive alcoholic girlfriend didnt love fact probably overlooked shortness put alcoholism long moving new city escape ive battled make every new friend could getall work feel good friend ive made contained work thus reluctant spend time outside working hour top im utterly love one coworkers get mixed signal best im tired feeling unloved unwanted height know height face overall fitness otherwise average better average personality also good thing considered work hard make people happy inside im dying loneliness someone please tell hope

self.depression

mood past week ranged suicidal delighted deleted

self.bipolar

much energy im verge tear dont think medication working anymore dose upped upped im max im still sitting feeling like im speed get little blip feeling normal fine end feel even control cant stop moving thinking talking especially talking ive pretty much conversation day ar work today nobody else keeping want everything everyone else slow bother though keep hearing buzzing sound like electronic buzz like something someone thought really want stop like husband listening thought im sure whatever though back work seeing pretty much hold company together lol

self.bipolar

boyfriend love enough honestly he person whod care ive suicidal since almost succeeded released residential treatmentand sent back honestly reason lived adulthood staff belt restriction treatment basically jail cinderblock wall mat window privacy punished wanting die made awkward shy afraid crippling way sexually abused since blamed reached adulthood shamed kept secret let eat away friend make end leaving find im depressed secretly suicidal ive friend ive known long year beg pressure open hard hide sadness abuse long eventually open admit depression thinking suicide leave recentlynovember took chance friend noticed gone one friend found suicidal told lot mutual friendsin caring way couldnt hear back one newest best friend knew almost year sends message saying knew wasnt going kill id dead fact im still alive mean attention serious one would know thats first time ive told although struggled dadwho passed year ago anchor loved thought rt would helped died arm although went peacefully sleep mom took advantage fact fully dependant couldnt report terrible thing else shed kick thing add padlock inside front door could leave took clothes onlyand mean pant ect thin white shirt one size small wear id call homeless shelter suicide hotlines looking resource shelter interested child man abusing hotlines wanted call police safetey hang police called yelled front pressed charge shed kick asked cop program resource could refer said dont kind thing ended losing padlock never bothered replace probably knew go eventually meet awesome guy first year datingnow he getting nastier tell disappointed im college even though goal ive never worked day life cant sleep night ive suicidal every day since october woke wishing dead constant day even trying sleep dont know deal empty pit inside twisting stomach pounding heart ive become distant nearly catatonic time find uneaten food lecture real problem even begin panic see eye dont even say anything scream longest time relationship told ive life full abuse even silly thing people hurting go fight flight best cry still cant hide fear face get mad sometimes scream im reacting need get make feel broken feel like there hope everyone tell progress good matter long take unfair say everyone give distance themself almost dying use defribulator solidified fact need better planned since extremely lucky damaged surprised hearth arrhythmia kidney fully functional took sign true second chance well nothing note written money pay funeral stuff think thing left somehow get rid thing slowly die isnt mess pack everything day doesnt clean anything im gone unfortunately ive fallen crack gave life chance like promised funnily enough promised longer life put lot people say permanent fix temporary problem demon lifelong problem lifelong friend support system tried truely feel quality life im done ive crossed lot bucket list already got lot thing attempt try enjoy life dont yes feel awful bf spent much cant enjoy life im diet soylentits like ensure le sugar boyfriend doesnt deal passing stress self hate bad cant keep food cant sleep yet cant leave bed wanted make sure tried wouldnt regret go

self.SuicideWatch

food med reaction dont know psychosomatic thought noticed real tick mood eating heavy amount dairy morning greek yogurt milk overnight oat ive since switched back eating spinach quiche morning tiny amount cheese flavor question anyone notice real issue specific food changing mood severely googled dairy lithium noticed might interaction dont want jump conclusion noticed mood improved since dumped dairy

self.bipolar

thanks nothing thought supposed place support time ive posted people offer support thanks showing world universe doesnt give shit ive already got plan want commit maybe sign one care anyway even typing

self.SuicideWatch

feeling better prozac hey guy made post week ago finally decided go doctor ask prescription gave month worth mg prozac try see thing went dont know placebo effect something really hopeful work feel better year im day find really bizarre already feeling good know week start feeling physical improvement mood boost come honestly feel great dont feel irritable feel calm im overthinking thing le mind wandering le dont feel stupid heavy pressure chest used dont understand im feeling good day aint complaining thats sure thing ive issue far sleeping hard fall asleep feel really awake posting people see feelget better

self.Anxiety

im alone first time im miserable want give im yo female moved friend month ago first time moving moved state place knew boyfriend moved bigger house got new roommate boyfriend move thats great every bit furniture house dont even garbage dont money boyfriend gone time work long hour play touring band he home sleep im lonely empty as house cant drive im stuck old roommate shit together friend theyre fun miss lot least wasnt completely alone live hour hour away family friend havent made friend yet besides roommate around right make really sad im depressed cant fall asleep ive drugging nyquil able fall asleep came pick stuff today took bathroom mirror nyquil sleep ill stay awake panic night boyfriend isnt supportive he offended miss much dont like living nice quiet dont want quiet quiet im always alone dont internet anything keep u entertained ive laying dresser living room counting ceiling tile he work cant move home stepdad creepily sexual used stand outside window watch sleep im miserable keep thinking thing may laying around could drink knock havent eaten day appetite get sick try eat hope never get floor

self.depression

anyone else feel way im sure form anxiety would call find obsessed time cant thing feel like dont considerable amount time task example graduated culinary school work part time would like able bake cook lot spare time dont feel like enough time im almost wasting day instead avoid completely fear plan sleeping pattern make sure get least hour sleep every night give least hour fall asleep read get sleepy dont start panic next day going ruined ill way tired anything dont get exact amount sleep tend shy away lot thing spare time hanging friend feel like dont ever enough time cant seem reason irrational fear time day work tend anything actually would like productive towards career choice sometimes productive clean find really hard get ready leave house simple errand alone go something

self.Anxiety

snapped bestfriend yesterday friend drinking little asked thought placeboing bp know itmeaning making symptom worse ive diagnosed didnt react much moment couldnt get mind yelled phone feel like reallylot insensitive thing please let know cause cant get head edit clarity

self.bipolar

okay people person deleted

self.depression

therapy specific phobia could actually real danger work like afraid driving dogsi understand exposure therapy something like spider specie cant actually hurt height something learn thing isnt really dangerousbut car crash dog bite people may happen time time next time could still happen future legitimate concern approach phobia real danger therapy cant train nothing worry nothing bad going happen could unless therapy learning lie convince wont happen even though obviously could phobia like treated id love insight process anyone give thanks

self.Anxiety

cant way matter anyone life die even day dont reason continue living dont want die need kill

self.depression

doctor suck office wont let change new psychiatrist long sorry last time went see psychiatrist dr b appointment arrived leave hour trip pick something buying craigslist pm guy leaving town week got work basically office wouldnt make already stressful situation figured would fine appointment minute rolled around asked receptionist going said must running late sat back asked receptionist could please check see going needed leave told would get bill mail left even though already paid copay scared didnt leave called doctor saw receptionist whispering looking great like need anxiety morning already pretty pissed anxious making x worse got shaking fidgeting looking around nervously told dr b going dismissed said feeling depressed seem pretty depressed anxious wanted scream feeling lot better past week told calmly anxiety basically caused office didnt believe dr b asked hadnt office month told staff never answer phone said hard believe even showed proof called one answered time last month told needed leave told sit listen retrospect couldve shouldve left right scared sat back proceeded chastise trying le depressed went still thought lying phone thing anyway sorry long want change different doctor practice obviously reason havent run screaming practice see psychologist dr r shes nicest person really help see dr r every week dr b month initially year ago dr r recommended see psychiatrist practice dr wasnt accepting new patient see dr b meantime requested switch dr filled bunch paperwork denied dr b idea one denies approves request course would deny would lose patient money otherwise ive much trouble finding psychiatrist actually listens doesnt sit type whole time dismiss problem ignores hard work make feel better tldr psychiatrist always late doesnt listen blame problem wont let see another doctor practice

self.Anxiety

kinda want sell everything move manic decision im type ii hover around mild depression anyone tried selling everything starting new place howd work

self.bipolar