Title
stringclasses 174
values | Setting
stringlengths 5
381
⌀ | Dialogue
stringlengths 1
1.92k
| Speaking Character
stringlengths 1
3.78k
| Addressed Character
stringlengths 1
68
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter Jackie Chiles) | Look older? Do you think this is a game? Is that what you think this is? I'm trying to give you amoral compass. You have no moral compass. You're going to walk into that courtroom, and the jury's going to see a mean, nasty, evil George Costanza. I want them to see Perry Como. No one's going to convict Perry Como. Perry Como helps out a fat tub who's getting robbed. | Chiles | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | Do you think it's funny? | Chiles | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | No. | Jerry | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | You damn right it isn't. You better not be carrying on laughing in that courtroom, funny man. Cause if you start getting all smart-alecky, making wisecracks, acting a fool, you gonna find yourself in here for a long, long time. I don't like that tie. Suzie, get one of my ties from my briefcase. | Chiles | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | How do I look, Jackie? | Elaine | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | Oh, you looking good. You look strong. You one fine-looking sexy lady. | Chiles | Elaine |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | Thank you, Jackie. | Elaine | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | How bout me, Jackie? | Kramer | Elaine |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jerry laughs) | Kramer, you always look good. You got respect for yourself. You're genuine. Jury's going to pick up on that. | Chiles | Kramer |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jackie hands Jerry a tie) | Here. | Chiles | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jackie hands Jerry a tie) | This one? | Jerry | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jackie hands Jerry a tie) | That's right. | Chiles | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jackie hands Jerry a tie) | Do I have to? | Jerry | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Jackie hands Jerry a tie) | Jackie says put it on, Jerry. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | All rise. Fourth District County Court, Latham, Massachusetts is now in session. The Honorable Judge | Bailiff | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Arthur Vandelay presiding. | Bailiff | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Vandelay? The judge's name is Vandelay? | George | Bailiff |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Vanda who? | Chiles | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Jerry, did you hear that? | George | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Yeah. | Jerry | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | I think that's a good sign. | George | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Is the District Attorney ready to proceed? | Vandelay | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | We are, Your Honor. | Hoyt | Vandelay |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Mr. Hoyt. | Vandelay | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | Ladies and gentlemen, last year, our City Council by a vote of twelve to two, passed a Good Samaritan Law. Now, essentially, we made it a crime to ignore a fellow human being in trouble. Now this group from New York not only ignored, but, as we will prove, they actually mocked the victim as he was being robbed at gunpoint. I can guarantee you one other thing, ladies and gentlemen, this is not the first time they have behaved in this manner. On the contrary, they have quite a record of mocking and maligning. This is a history of selfishness, self-absorption, immaturity, and greed. And you will see how everyone who has come into contact with these four individuals has been abused, wronged, deceived and betrayed. This time, they have gone too far. This time they are going to be held accountable. This time, they are the ones who will | Hoyt | Vandelay |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Court is starting) | pay. | Hoyt | Vandelay |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Mr. Chiles. | Vandelay | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | I am shocked and chagrined, mortified and stupefied. This trial is outrageous! It is a waste of the taxpayers' time and money. It is a travesty of justice that these four people have been incarcerated while the real perpetrator is walking around laughing - lying and laughing, laughing and lying. You know what these four people were? They were innocentbystanders. Now, you just think about that term. Innocent. Bystanders. Because that's exactly what they were. We know theywere bystanders, nobody's disputing that. So how can a bystander be guilty? No such thing. Have you ever heard of a guilty bystander? No, because you cannot be a bystander and be guilty. Bystanders are by definition, innocent. That is the nature of bystanding. But no, they want to change nature here. They want to create a whole new animal - the guilty bystander. Don't you let them do it. Only you can stop them. | Chiles | Vandelay |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Is the prosecution ready to present its first witness? | Vandelay | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | We are, Your Honor. Call Officer Matt Vogel to the stand. | Hoyt | Vandelay |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Call Matt Vogel. | Bailiff | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | So they were just standing there? | Hoyt | Bailiff |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Yes. | Voleg | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Did one of them have a video camera? | Hoyt | Voleg |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Yes. | Vogel | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Your Honor, with the court's permission, we would like to play back that video and enter it into evidence as Exhibit | Hoyt | Vogel |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Newman shown eating popcorn) | Proceed. | Vandelay | A. |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | Don't shoot. | Victim | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | Well, there goes the money for the lipo. | Jerry | Victim |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | See, the great thing about robbing a fat guy is it's an easy getaway. They can't really chase ya! | Elaine | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | He's actually doing him a favor. It's less money for him to buy food. | George | Elaine |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | the victim of the robbery) | George | Elaine |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | So they just stood there and did nothing? | Hoyt | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | Yeah, nothing. Nothing! | Victim | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (The tape plays) | No further questions. | Hoyt | Victim |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Hey! Great plane! Thanks a lot. Piece of junk. You know you almost got us killed! | George | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Call Mabel Choate to the stand. | Hoyt | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Call Mabel Choate. | Bailiff | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Your Honor. I most strenuously and vigorously object to this witness. She was not present at the time of | Chiles | Bailiff |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | the incident. Her testimony is irrelevant, irrational, and inconsequential. | Chiles | Bailiff |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Your Honor, the prosecution has gone to great lengths and considerable cost to find these character witnesses.It is imperative that we establish this is not merely an isolated incident. It's part of a pattern of anti-social behavior that's been going on for years. | Hoyt | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Objection overruled. I'll hear the witness. | Vandelay | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Now, Mrs. Choate, would you please tell the court what happen the evening of January 4th. | Hoyt | Vandelay |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Well, I was in Snitzer's Bakery when I got accosted by that man. | Choate | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Let the record show that she is pointing at Mr. Seinfeld. | Hoyt | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | What did he want? | Hoyt | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | My marble rye. | Choate | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Your marble rye? | Hoyt | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | I got the last one. He kept persisting, and I said no. | Choate | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | And then you left the bakery. | Hoyt | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | That's right. | Choate | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | But it didn't end there, did it, Mrs. Choate? | Hoyt | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi) | Oh no. | Choate | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Scene from past episode, "The Rye") | Gimme that rye. | Jerry | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Scene from past episode, "The Rye") | Stop it. | Choate | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Scene from past episode, "The Rye") | I want that rye lady. | Jerry | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Scene from past episode, "The Rye") | Help - someone help. | Choate | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Scene from past episode, "The Rye") | Shut up, you old bag! | Jerry | Choate |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | No further questions. | Hoyt | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | I call Marla Penny to the stand. | Hoyt | null |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Call Marla Penny. | Bailiff | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | The virgin! | Jerry | Bailiff |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | And what was your connection to the defendants? | Hoyt | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | I dated Mr. Seinfeld for several weeks in the autumn of 1992. | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Then on the evening of October 28, there was an abrupt end to that relationship. Tell us what happened. | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | It's rather difficult to talk about. | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | It's alright. Take your time. | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Well, I became aware of a - | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | A what? | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | A, uh - | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Yes? | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | A contest. | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Contest? | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Yes. | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | What was the nature of the contest? | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Oh please, I can't. | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | It's okay. | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | The four of them made a wager to see if they could - | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Yes? | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | To see who could go the longest without gratifying themselves. | Penny | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | For the love of God! | Peterman | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | It was horrible, horrible! | Penny | Peterman |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Call Donald Sanger to the stand. | Hoyt | Penny |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Who the hell is that? | Jerry | Hoyt |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Come on Donald, you're doing fine. | Mr. Sanger | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | The Bubble Boy! | George | Mr. Sanger |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | Bubble Boy? | Chiles | George |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | That's right, the Bubble Boy. | Jerry | Chiles |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | What's a Bubble Boy? | Chiles | Jerry |
THE FINALE PART 2 | (Back to the present) | He's a boy who lives in a bubble. | Jerry | Chiles |