Title
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stringlengths 5
381
⌀ | Dialogue
stringlengths 1
1.92k
| Speaking Character
stringlengths 1
3.78k
| Addressed Character
stringlengths 1
68
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, me too. My cousin had to go back to Boston. | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, that guy was your *cousin*! | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, and that woman was your-- | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Friend! | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'll just, uh, get a paper... | George | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So, um, do you date immature men? | Jerry | George |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Almost exclusively... | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Bum bum bum bum... I have no letters... Bum bum bum bum... | Helen | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Ma, will you go already? | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Bum bum bum bum... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What are you doing?! | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Wait, I just want to see something... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You can't look in there, we're playing! | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Evening, Mr. Kramer! | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Hey Morty! (To Jerry) Salad dressing? | Kramer | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Look. | Jerry | Kramer |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | "Quo"? Is that a word? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Maybe! | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Will you challenge it? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Ma, you can't look up words in the dictionary! Dad, she's cheating! | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | "Quo"? That's not a word. | Kramer | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To Jerry) You're such a stickler... | Helen | Kramer |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well put *something* down, you're taking twenty minutes on this. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So is Uncle Mac, and Artie, they're all coming over here before the | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | wedding? | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | They'll be here at two o'clock... Oh, Elaine called. She said | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | 30. Oh, and she says ``Hope your meeting went | She'd Be Here At 2 | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | well with Art... "Vandelay"?'' | She'd Be Here At 2 | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | She said *what*? | Jerry | She'd Be Here At 2 |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Just what I said, here. | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | She knows! Oh, I am *such* a *jackass*... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | She knows what? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | She knows the whole stupid thing... Vanessa and the elevator... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, no, no, that won't do. He may have a "Z"... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So, how did she find out? | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Because, Vanessa probably told Pamela, and Pamela probably told | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Elaine. | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So, what are you? Afraid of her? | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yes. *Yes* *I* *am*! | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What else did she say on the phone? | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Whatever I wrote down. | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, but what was the tone in her voice? How did she sound? | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Who am I, Rich Little? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, she can't be too mad-- she's still coming to the wedding. | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, but now I'm nervous. | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, stop it. | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | "Quone"? | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | "Quone"? No, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to challenge that. | Jerry | ...30...31... |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, you don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a | Kramer | ...32... |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | *definite* word. | Kramer | ...32... |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I am challenging... | Jerry | Kramer |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Quone: to quone something. | Kramer | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Uh-huh... | Jerry | Kramer |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'm not playing with you anymore... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Quone's not a word... | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No good. Sorry. There it is. Get it off... | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Why did you make me put that down? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Nah, we need a *medical* dictionary! If a patient gets difficult, | Kramer | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | you *quone* him... | Kramer | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You want some funny material, you oughta come down to where I work, | Carol | Kramer |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | now that's a sitcom! | Carol | Kramer |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You must have quite a time down there. (Checks his watch) | Jerry | Carol |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | We got plenty of time... | Carol | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just waiting for someone... | Jerry | Carol |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Watch what you say to this guy-- he'll put it in his next act! | Mac | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, yeah... | Jerry | Mac |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Jerry, did I tell you that I'm writing a book? An autobiography. | Mac | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, Uncle Mac, you mentioned it... | Jerry | Mac |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | It's based on all my experiences! | Mac | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | That's perfect. (Elaine enters) Could you excuse me one second. | Jerry | Mac |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I'm sorry. | Jerry | Mac |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | How do you do, Jerry Seinfeld. | Jerry | Mac |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, how do you do. Elaine Benes. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Um, do you want to do this now, or do you want to wait until we get | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | in the car? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh no, let's do it now. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Alright, the whole elevator business, let me just explain-- | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Okay... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Jerry, were you goin' with us? | Artie | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, I'm gonna take my car. | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | That's why I brought the wagon. Why the Hell did I bring the wagon? | Artie | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Anyway, you know why I didn't ask you, I mean I felt so | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | uncomfortable, and you were *so* annoyed in the cab. | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, Jerry, I never saw you flirt with anyone before. It was | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | quite the spectacle. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Jerry, we'll see you there. Bye, Elaine. | Carol | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, bye. Good to see you. | Elaine | Carol |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, we didn't meet. | Artie | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, I'm sorry. Elaine, this is my cousin Artie Levine. | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Le*vine*. | Artie | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, "Le*vine*". And I'm Jerry Cougar Mellencamp... Anyway, I | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | admit it was a fairly ridiculous thing to do, but I mean, I mean, | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | obviously we have a little problem here. | Jerry | Artie |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, obviously. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I mean, if we're gonna be friends, we gotta be able to talk about | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | other people... | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Couldn't agree more. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Good. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Good. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Good. | Jerry | Elaine |