Title
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⌀ | Dialogue
stringlengths 1
1.92k
| Speaking Character
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3.78k
| Addressed Character
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68
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|---|---|---|---|---|
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I had this dream last night and you were in it. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh really... (To himself) Oh God, I gotta get out of this... | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You were you, but, you weren't you... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No kidding... (To himself) Why is this happening? Please, make | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | her stop! | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I think, I think we were in my house where I grew up, and you were | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | standing there, you were looking out the window-- | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To himself) This is *brutal*... | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You turned around and you had these wooden teeth... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | How do you like that... (To himself) Can I turn now? Is this | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | over? No, I can't, I can't... I'm stuck... | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Jerry? Are you listening to me? | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yes, I *heard* you. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Elaine, what's the name of that jewelry store you took me to that | Pamela | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | time? | Pamela | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To himself) Thank *you*, Pamela! | Jerry | Pamela |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To Vanessa) So, you're a lawyer... | Jerry | Pamela |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To himself, quickly) Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft... | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To Vanessa) Of course, they handled my tattoo removal lawsuit! | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, that was you! | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Imagine, spelling "Mom" with two O's... | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Very funny! What do you do? | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Comedian. | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Really... That explains it... | Vanessa | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To himself, quickly) Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Are you ready? | Roger | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | We gotta run. Happy birthday! | Vanessa | Roger |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To himself) I can't believe it-- I got *nothing*! I don't even | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | know her name! | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (To himself, *very* quickly) Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Taft. Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppen... Sagman... Sag... | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | That wasn't so bad, really... | Jerry | Vanessa |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Y'know, uh, you could use a little work on your manners. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Why? What did I do? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, I just don't appreciate these little "courtesy responses", | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | like I'm selling you aluminum siding. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I was listening! | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No! You couldn't wait to get back to your little... "conversation". | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, you were talking about the, the um, the dream you had. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Uh-huh... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Where you had, uh, wooden teeth. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No! No! *You* had wooden teeth! *You* had wooden teeth! *I* | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | didn't have wooden teeth, *you* did! | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Alright, so *I* had wooden teeth, so what? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So nothing... Nothing... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Apparently Plato, who came up with the concept of the platonic | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | relationship, was pretty excited about it. He named it after | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | himself. He said ``Yeah, I got this new thing-- "platonic". My | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | idea, my name, callin' it after myself... What I do is, I go *out* | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | with the girls, I *talk* with them-- don't *do* anything... and go | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | right home. What'dya think? I think it's going to be *big*!'' | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I bet you there were other guys in history that tried to get | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | relationships named after them, but it didn't work. Y'know, I bet | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Rico. Would you like to go to bed immediately? Hey, it's a | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | *"Riconic"* relationship...'' | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Hey! | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Ah, there he is! | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | This is what I like, see? You come home and your parents are in your | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | bed! | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Y'know, Jerry, we don't have to do this... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What are you talkin' about? It's fine, I love having you here... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Tomorrow we'll go to a hotel. | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Ma, will you stop? | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, why should we take over your apartment? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I don't care-- I'm sleeping next door. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Your friend Kramer doesn't mind? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, he's making a bouillabaisse. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So Dad, lemme ask you a question. How many people work at these big | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | law offices? | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Depends on the firm. | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah, but if you called up and described someone, do you think they | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | would know who it was? | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What's the matter? You need a lawyer? | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, I met someone at this party, and I know where she works, but I | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | don't know her name. | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So why don't you ask someone who was at the party? | Morty | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Nah, the only one I could ask is Elaine, and I can't ask her. | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Why not? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Because it's complicated-- there's some tension there. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | He used to go with her... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Which one is she? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | From Maryland. The one who brought you the chocolate covered | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | cherries you didn't like. | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh yeah, very alert. Warm person. | Morty | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh yeah, she's great. | Jerry | Morty |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So, how come nothing materialized there? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, it's a tough thing to talk about... I dunno... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I know what it was... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | You don't know what it was... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | So, what was it? | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, we fight a lot for some reason... | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, well... | H + M | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | And there was a little problem with the physical chemistry... | Jerry | H + M |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, I think she's a very attractive girl. | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh, she is, she absolutely is. | Jerry | Helen |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I can see if there was a *weight* problem... | Helen | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, it's not that. It wasn't all one-sided. | Jerry | Helen |