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seinfeld-dialogue

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MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

what?

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

This friendship.. it's not working.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Not working? What are you talking about?

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

We're just not suited to be friends.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

How can you say that?

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Look, you're a nice guy, it's just that - we don't have anything in common.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

(starting to cry) Wait. Wat did I do? Tell me.. I want to know.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

You didn't do anything. It's not you, it's me. It's.. this is very difficult.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Look, I know I call you too much, right? I mean, I know you're a very busy guy.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

No, it's not that.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

(crying) You're one of the few people I can talk to.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Oh, come on. That's not true.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

I always tell everybody about you; tell everybody to go see your show. I mean, I'm your biggest fan!

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

I know, I know.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

I mean, you're my best friend.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Best friend? I've never been to your apartment.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

I cannot believe that this is happening. I can't believe it.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Okay, okay. Forget it. It's okay. Id didn't mean it.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Didn't mean what?

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

What I said. I've been under a lot of stress.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Oh, you've been under a lot of stress.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Just, can we just forget the whole thing ever happend? I'm sorry. I din't mean it. I took it out on you. We're still friends. We're still friends. Still friends.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Okay? Look, I'll tell you what. I've got Knick tickets this Wednesday. Great seats behind the bench. You want to come with me? Come on.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Tonight?

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

No, next Wednesday. If it was tonight, I would've said tonight.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Do you really want me to go?

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

(faking) Yes.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Okay. yeah, okay. Great! That would be, that'd be great.. so, next Wednesday.

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Next Wednesday.

Jerry

Joel

MALE UNBONDING

(waitress leaves)

Where is that waitress?! Hey! ..

Joel

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

..she calls me up at my office, she says, "We have to talk."

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

Uh, the four worst words in the English language.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

That, or "Who's bra is this?"

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

That is worse.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

So we order lunch, and we're talking. Finally, she blurts out how it's "not working".

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

Really.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

So, I'm thinking, as she's saying this, I'm thinking: great, the relationship's over. But the egg salad's on the way. So now I have a decision - do I walk or

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

do I eat?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

Hm? You ate.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

We sat there for twenty minutes, chewing, staring at each other in a defunct relationship.

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

Someone says, "Get out of my life!" and that doesn't affect your appetite?

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

Have you ever had their egg salad?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

It is unbelievable.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

It's unbelievable. You know what else is unbelievable? I picked up the check. She didn't even offer. She ended it. The least she could do is send me off

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

with a sandwich.

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

(looking at George's penny jug) How much could you possibly have in there? GEORGE: It's my money. What should I do? Throw it out the window? I

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

know guy who took his vacation on change.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

Yeah? Where'd he go? To and arcade?

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

(sarcastic) That's funny. You're a funny guy.

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Jerry is at the counter, filling out a slip; George is carrying a jug full of pennies.)

C'mon, move up.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Oh great, Ewing's hurt.

Customer

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Ewing's hurt? How long is he going to be out?

George

Customer

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

A couple of days at the most but..

Customer

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Geez.

George

Customer

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Oh, God.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

I got scared there for a second. The Knicks without Ewing.

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Listen, George, little problem with the game.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

What about it?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

The thing is, yesterday, I kind of.. uh..

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

What?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

I geve your ticket to Horneck.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

You what?!

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Yeah, I'm sorry. I had to give it to Horneck.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

No! My ticket?! You gave my ticket to Horneck?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

(talking about the line) C'mon, c'mon, go ahead, move up.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Why did you give him my ticket for?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

You didn't see him. It was horrible.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

Oh, c'mon, Jerry. I can't believe this.

Goerge

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George moves up in the bank line)

I had to do it.

Jerry

Goerge

MALE UNBONDING

(George is up to the teller, Jerry goes to another one.)

Oh, please. (to the teller) Can you change this into bills?

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is up to the teller, Jerry goes to another one.)

I'm sorry, sir. We can't do that.

Teller

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is up to the teller, Jerry goes to another one.)

Do you want to go with him? You go. I don't mind.

Jerry

Teller

MALE UNBONDING

(George is up to the teller, Jerry goes to another one.)

I'm not going with him. I don't even know the guy. (to the teller) Look, they did this for me before.

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is up to the teller, Jerry goes to another one.)

Look, I can give you these and you can roll them yourself.

Teller

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is up to the teller, Jerry goes to another one.)

You want me to roll six thousand of these?! What, should I quit my job?!

George

Teller

MALE UNBONDING

(Nightclub)

I do not like the bank. I've heard the expression "Laughing all the way to the bank." I have never seen anyone actually doing it. And those bank lines. I hate

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Nightclub)

it when there's nobody on the line at all, you know that part, you go to the bank, it's empty and you still have to go through the little maze. "Can you get a little piece

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(Nightclub)

of cheese for me? I'm almost at the front. I'd like a reward for this please."

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

..Thirty-two, thirty-three-

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

George.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

(raises his hand) Not now.. (counts to himself).

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

Could you stop the counting?

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

Nnnnnnnninngaaa! (Dumping out roll) What?!

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

Can I make it up to you? I'll give you fifty bucks for the jug.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

Oh, yeah, sure. Keep your money.

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

Well, then I'm not going to the game either. Okay? I'll give him both tickets.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

(pantomimes sticking an imaginary knife in his heart, and twists it) Oh geeeee.. Go, go!

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

I.. no, I don't want to go.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

He was really crying?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

I had to give him a tissue. In fact, let me call his machine now and I'll just make up some excuse why I can't go to the game either.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. As long as you're going to lie to the guy, why don't you tell him that you lost both of the tickets, then we could go?

George

Jerry

MALE UNBONDING

(George is stuffing pennies into rolls.)

George, the man wept.

Jerry

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

Oh, hey guys. Man, I'm telling you. This pizza idea, is really going to happen.

Kramer

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

This is the thing where you go and you have to make your own pizza?

George

Kramer

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

Yeah, we give you the dough, you smash it, you pound it, you fling it in the air; and then you get to put your sauce and you get to sprinkle your cheese,

Kramer

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

and they - you slide it into the oven.

Kramer

George

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

You know, you have to know how to do that. You can't have people shoving their arms into a six-hundred degree oven.

Goerge

Kramer

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

It's all supervised.

Kramer

Goerge

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

Oh, well.

George

Kramer

MALE UNBONDING

(Kramer enters.)

All of it. You want to invest?

Kramer

George