Title
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381
⌀ | Dialogue
stringlengths 1
1.92k
| Speaking Character
stringlengths 1
3.78k
| Addressed Character
stringlengths 1
68
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | We're aware of the proximity to the park, yes. | George | Diane |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | Well, it was nice to meet you. (she walks away) | Diane | George |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | Nice meeting you. (shakes Carol's hand; they sit down | George | Diane |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | again; Carol walks away) | George | Diane |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | How late are the stores open? I'm thinking of maybe uh, | Jerry | George |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | buying a new TV and smash it over my head. (two men are | Jerry | George |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | standing behind the couch talking) | Jerry | George |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | I get a call from Gilmore this morning and get | Right Man | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | they're restructuring the organization in Atlanta and I | This | Right Man |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | gotta be there on the first of the month. | This | Right Man |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | Really? What are you gonna 'bout the apartment? | Left Man | This |
THE ROBBERY | (irritated) | Well, what can I do? Give it up. | Right Guy | Left Man |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | Most men like working on things, tools, objects, fixing things. This is what men enjoy doing. Have you ever noticed a guy's out in his driveway working on | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | something with tools, how all the other men in the neighborhood are magnetically drawn to this activity. They just come wandering out of the house like zombies. | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | Men, it's true, men hear a drill, it's like a dog whistle. Just.. you know, they go running up to that living room curtain, "Honey, I think Jim's working on something over | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | there." So they run over to the guy. Now they don't actually help the guy. No, they just want to hang around the area where work is being done. That's what men | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | want to do. We want to watch the guy, we want to talk to him, we want to ask him dumb questions. You know, "What are you using, the Philips head?" You know, | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | we feel involved. That's why when they have construction sites, they have to have those wood panel fences around it, that's just to keep the men out. They cut those | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | little holes for us so we can see what the hell is going on. But if they don't cut those holes - we are climbing those fences. Right over there. "What are you using the | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | steel girders down there? Yeah, that'll hold." | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and George are waiting for the elevator) | I had to say something. I had to say something. Everything was going so well; I had to say something. | George | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and George are waiting for the elevator) | I don't think you did anything wrong. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and George are waiting for the elevator) | I told her I liked her. Why? Why did I tell her I like her? I have this sick compulsion to tell women how I feel. I like you I don't tell you. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and George are waiting for the elevator) | We can only thank God for that. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (Elevator opens, they get on) | I'm outta the picture. I am outta the picture. (laughs) It's only a matter of time now. | George | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Elevator opens, they get on) | You're imagining this. Really. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (Elevator opens, they get on) | Oh no. No, no, no, no. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (elevator doors close) | I'll tell you when it happened. When that floss came flying out of my pocket. | George | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (elevator doors close) | What floss? When? | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (elevator doors close) | We were in the lobby during the intermission of the play. I was buying her one of those containers of orange drink, for five dollars. I reached into my | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (elevator doors close) | pocket to pay for it, I looked down; there's this piece of green floss hanging from my fingers. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (elevator doors close) | Ah, mint. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (elevator doors close) | Of course. So, I'm looking at it, I look up, I see she's looking at it. Our eyes lock. It was a horrible moment. I just.. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | So let me get this straight: she saw the floss, you panicked and you told her you liked her. | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | If I didn't put that floss in my pocket, I'd be crawling around her bedroom right now looking for my glasses. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | And you're sure the floss was the catalyst? | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | Yes, I am. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | (looks at a carrying pouch George is wearing) You don't think it might've had anything to do with that? | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | What? You don't like this? | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (eleveator doors open, they get off) | It looks like your belt is digesting a small animal. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Oh, they've got a cure for cancer. See, it's all big business.. Oh hey, Jerry just walked in. Hi, George. (resumes talking on the phone) Yeah, yeah yeah, | Kramer | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | yeah, take my number - 555-8643. Okay, here he is. (hands phone to Jerry.) | Kramer | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | (to Kramer) Who is it? | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Take it. | Kramer | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Who is it? | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | It's for you. | Kramer | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | (into phone) Hello? Oh, hi Joel. (Jerry hits Kramer with a magazine.) .. No. I was out of town. I just got back.. Kramer doesn't know anything.. He's just | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | my next-door neighbor. Uh.. nothing much.. Tuesday? Uh, Tuesday, no. I'm meeting somebody.. Uh, Wednesday? Wednesday's okay.. Alright. Uh, I'm a little busy | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | right now. Can we talk Wednesday morning? .. Okay.. yeah.. right.. thanks.. bye. (hangs up, then addresses Kramer) Why did you put me on the phone with him? I | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | hate just being handed a phone. | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Well, it's your phone. He wanted to talk to you | Kramer | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Maybe I didn't want to talk to him. | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Well, why not? | Kramer | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | He bothers me. I don't even answer the phone anymore because of him. He's turned me into a screener. Now I gotta go see him on Wednesday. | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | What do you mean Wednesday? I though we had tickets to the Knick game Wednesday. We got seats behind the bench! What happened? We're not | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | going? | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | We're going. That's next Wednesday. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | Oh. Who is this guy? | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | His name is Joel Horneck. He lived like three houses down from me when I grew up. He had a Ping Pong table. We were friends. Should I suffer the rest of | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (they go into Jerry's apartment to find Kramer talking on the phone) | my life because I like to play Ping Pong? I was ten. I would've been friends with Stalin if he had a Ping Pong table.. he's so self-involved. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | That's for me. (into phone) Kramerica Industries.. Oh, hi, Mark.. No, no, no. Forget that. I got a better idea. A pizza place where you make your own | Kramer | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | pie. | Kramer | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | Can you conduct your business elsewhere? | Jerry | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | (ignoring Jerry) No, no, no. I'm talking about a whole chain of 'em. Yeah. (Kramer leaves Jerry's apartment while still on the phone.) | Kramer | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | I don't know why you even bother with this ping pong guy, I'll tell you that. | George | Kramer |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | I don't bother with him. He's been calling me for seven years. I've never called him once! He's got the attention span of a five-year-old. Sometimes I sit | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | there and I make up things just to see if he's paying attention. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | I don't understand why you spend time with this guy. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | What can I do? Break up with him? Tell him "I Don't think we're right for each other.." He's a guy. At least with a woman, there's a precendent. You know, | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | the relationship goes sour, you end it. | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | No, no, no,no you have to approach this as if he was a woman. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | Just break up with him? | Jerry | George |
MALE UNBONDING | (phone rings, Kramer pulls his phone out of his pocket) | Absolutely. You just tell him the truth. | George | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | As a guy I don't know how I can break up with another guy. You know what I mean? I don't know how to say, "Bill, I feel I need to see other men." Do | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | you know what I mean? There's nothing I can do. I have to wait for someone to die. I think that's the only way out of this relationship. It could be a long time. See, | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | the great thing about guys is that we can become friends based on almost nothing. Just two guys will just become friends just because they're two guys. That's almost | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | all we need to have in common. 'Cause sports - sports and women - is really all we talk about. If there was no sports and no women the only thing guys would ever | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Nightclub) | say is "So, what's in the refrigerator?" | Jerry | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | ..so my shrink wants me to bring my mother in for a session. This guy is a brilliant man. Lenny Bruce used to go to him.. and I think, uh, Geraldo. | Joel | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | You know, I read the Lenny Bruce biography, I thought it was really - interesting.. he would- | Jerry | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | (interrupting) Hey, hey, hey, hey we're starving here! We've been waiting here for ten minutes already! | Joel | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | (testing Joel) So, I'm thinking about going to Iran this summer. | Jerry | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | I have to eat! I mean, I'm hypoglycemic. | Joel | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | Anyway, the Hizballah has invited me to perform. You know, it's their annual terrorist luncheon. I'm gonna do it is Farsi. | Jerry | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (Jerry and Joel are sitting at a table) | Do you think I need a haircut? | Joel | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | Are you ready? | Waitress | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | Yeah, I'll have the egg salad on whole wheat. | Jerry | Waitress |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | Let me ask you a question. This, uh, this turkey sandwich here, is that real turkey, or is it a turkey roll? I don't want that processed turkey. I hate it. | Joel | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | I think it's real turkey. | Waitress | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | Is there a real bird in the back? | Joel | Waitress |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | No, there's not bird but- | Waitress | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress comes to their table) | Well, how do you know for sure? Look, why don't you do me a favor. Why don't you go in the back and find out, okay? | Joel | Waitress |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | (cont.) Unbelievable.. | Joel | null |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | How can you talk to someone like that? | Jerry | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | What are you saying? What, you like turkey roll? | Joel | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | Listen, Joel. There's something I have to tell you. | Jerry | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | Wait, you'll never guess who I ran into. | Joel | Jerry |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | Howard metro. | Jerry And Joel | Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | He asked me if I still saw you. I said, "Sure, I see him all the time. We're great friends." Anyway, Howard says hello. | Joel | Jerry And Joel |
MALE UNBONDING | (waitress leaves) | ..listen, Joel.. I don't think we should see each other anymore. | Jerry | Joel |