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She is upset with me for refusing to change my running pace now that she can't safely match it anymore.
I feel for her because I know it has to be hard to go through all of the bodily changes and give up something like this which has been a part of our relationship since we started dating nine years ago, but...I am not sure what good is accomplished by me changing my pace.
It is hard to regain your fitness and form when you drastically cut back. I am not sure if her aim is to have us both get back in shape together, but that is a terrible idea.
I have offered her a compromise of walking a mile or two with her after I finish my run, but she refuses because she says by this time I am too tired to do a power walk with her. I also suggested that she find another expectant mom to walk with or one of her friends, but she was not too keen on that idea either.
I really think it is more about her not being able to run than spending time with me or walking to stay active.
I told her I would not change my pace because it served no purpose and I had offered her a reasonable compromise, but do you think I am being the @$$h013? ###### | YTA. The purpose is keeping your pregnant wife company. You know, the one going through all the physical changes to bring another part of you into the world where all you had to do was have an orgasm. ###### |
My husband's friend and his wife are pregnant and expecting a boy. They recently told my husband that they want to name the baby after him.
When my husband and his friend where teenagers, his friend was involved in a really bad accident while they were riding dirt bikes. If my husband had not been there that day his friend would have died, so I get why they want to do this.
It is sweet, but I hate the idea. My husband and I are trying to conceive, and if we have a boy, I had thought about naming him after my husband. I'm not saying that we would, but I would like for that option to at least be available to us. As much time as we spend with his friend and his friend's wife, it would be awkward to have two boys with the same name.
I asked my husband to politely request that they pick another name, and he refused. He told me that it was strange to be so upset over this when we may never have a boy and it's unlikely we would name our son after him.
When my husband refused I reached out to the friend and his wife about it. I told them that it was ultimately their choice but it bothered me and I'd ask that they use another name if they didn't mind. They were really nice about it and said they understood my point. They may use his middle name, but they aren't going to use his first name.
I don't think what I did was inappropriate, but my husband said I was acting entitled and like an asshole. He thinks I should have minded my own business instead of telling his friend and his friend's wife not to name their baby after him. I am not sure if his criticism is valid or if he's just upset that he won't get his namesake now. ###### | YTA. That would have been a huge honor for your husband, and what a special connection he could have had with this little boy. You sound oddly jealous about their new baby. ###### |
So yesterday was my roommate's birthday, and we live in a college dorm together. We spent the whole day hanging out and concluded the night by smoking a joint together with another friend. We all got really high, and she went to go fuck this guy she's seeing. Me and the mutual friend stayed up for a while and talked till we were both exhausted.
The mutual friend left, and I got into bed and started settling down. Then my roommate and her male friend came back into our room to watch a TV show. She knows I'm a super deep sleeper, and I reiterated the point to tell her that they didn't have to whisper, especially since it was her birthday. I wished them goodnight then eventually fell asleep to the sounds of them laughing at what was on TV.
This afternoon when we were talking she told me about her night, slipping in there that she had had sex with him in our room last night and kicked him out before I woke up. I didn't indicate that anything was wrong, because I didn't want to ruin the casual mood we were having. However, I became really uncomfortable. I wasn't awake for it, and had she asked, I probably would have said that was fine. But she didn't, and it sort of feels nonconsensual to me.
I just texted her saying that it made me uncomfortable, and she hasn't responded yet. She's become a really close friend to me this past month, but that sort of made me lose some of my trust. Am I the asshole for reacting this way? ###### | YTA. that is like wearing a bikini to go swimming and getting mad when someone splashes water on you.
you said if she had asked you wouldn't have cared... you weren't involved. you have no right to say it is nonconsensual, like they involved you or something. ###### |
My girlfriend recently moved in town into her cousins apartment. We will call the cousin Amy. They split the rent 3 ways, between my girlfriend, Amy, and Amy's girlfriend. They have been splitting the rent this way for 2 months, but yesterday, Amy had a talk with my girlfriend saying that I need to start paying rent since I sleep over there often and I'm practically living there. I'm not sure how I feel about this, firstly because while I do sleep at my girlfriends the majority of the month, non of my stuff is there, I do work from my actual home Monday through Friday 7:30-3:30, I pay for my own food at my girlfriends place, and I shower with my girlfriend, not costing them any extra utility. I am only there when my girlfriend is and we only stay in her room that she pays her part for.
Now I can understand where Amy is coming from, but does me spending time with my girlfriend actually constitute as living there? Part of me feels like Amy is charging me to date my girlfriend. ###### | YTA. Something needs to change. Spend more time at your place with your girlfriend. Your girlfriends roommates didn't sign up to live with one extra person. If you are over there taking up space all the time you need to pay up or spend more time elsewhere. ###### |
I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence, but I went into the kitchen last night about an hour after I told my girlfriend I was going to bed. She always pumps before bed so I assumed that was what she was doing.
When I walked into the kitchen she was sitting at the table and she picked up the bottle she pumps into and took a sip. I said “what the hell” and she turned around and got super red in the face. I asked what she was doing and she said “I just took a sip I wanted to try it”. I said “you’re disgusting” and she started crying. I went back in the bedroom and she never came to bed until this morning she came in the room when our daughter started crying.
I asked why she never came to bed, and she said I made her feel embarrassed. I told her nobody was around, and I apologized if I upset her, but it was still gross. She made a comment about how drinking her own breast milk is less gross than drinking cows milk, but I said I disagree. Now she’s both upset and irritated with me. ###### | YTA. People will are fine with the partners putting their mouths on their gentials... but somehow breastmilk is where the line is drawn. Get over it. ###### |
(Posted on behalf of someone who doesn’t have reddit - I’ve been discussing this all day with her)
My (57 F) daughter (32) recently gave birth and called and let me know hours after the birth. I was the first person she told but I think it’s strange she didn’t ring me immediately. She didn’t have a long labour and was out of hospital very quickly.
I then hinted very obviously that I’d like to see the baby by asking if she wanted anything and I would come and drop it off but she said she was fine. I feel like she should invite me to come over. I won’t hold the baby or come inside because of COVID but I would like to wave through the window. It’s also awkward when my friends ask if I’ve seen the baby yet and I have to say no.
AITA for being angry and upset with my daughter about this and trying to get my family to understand my point of view
Edit- Op here, after I said as gently as possible that she ran the risk of making her daughter think she was making it about her, she got very defensive and asked why I’m never on her side. She’s still convinced that her daughter is in the wrong and I’m not sure if it’s even possible to get through to her at this point. Thanks for all the comments, was beginning to feel guilty for not supporting her. ###### | YTA. Noooo, grandma, your daughter's birth process is not about you. The first hours and days after giving birth are not about you. She doesn't owe you anything - it's about her and her baby. ###### |
Laptop was nearly 4 years old. I was going to get a new one anyway and just wipe and donate this one, but this girl I’m semi friends with accidentally spilled liquor all over it, which ended up breaking it.
She was super apologetic and offered to replace it with a new one for close to $2,000. I know for a fact this poses a significant financial burden as she is on a lot of fin aid at our school, but I was wondering if it would make me the asshole if I accepted since she offered. I was going to buy a new one right now anyway and just donate this. ###### | YTA. Its unfortunate that you can't donate it, but allowing the person to put themselves in hardship for something when you are not disadvantaged (you were going to upgrade) is definitely a jerk move. ###### |
My friend is deciding between two offices of the same company. One is in San Fransisco, and the other is in New York.
Instead of considering factors such as career progression, cost of living, social scene, etc.... he literally said he’s choosing the New York office simply because they have a much more traditional business professional dress code compared to the San Fransisco office which it’s common to wear jeans at.
I told him he’s being idiotic for choosing for solely that reason, and now he’s all angry at me.
AITA? ###### | YTA. It’s his choice. I’m sure the dress code speaks to much more, such as lifestyle and prestige. He doesn’t owe you to lay it all out.
Is there a strong reason you see that he should be choosing one over the other? Your post makes it sound like all things are equal, so why shouldn’t dress code be the deciding factor if it means something to him. ###### |
My cousin (18f) and I (21f) were never really close because she was the beautiful darling girl of the family while I was just the "smart" one. It also doesn't help that we were just two different people.
My cousin is known to use so much photoshop and makeup on all of her pictures to make herself look older than she is. She's not aware of the real world and how some of the older men tend to be towards young women around her age.
Today, my mom told me that my cousin got knocked up by her 22 year old boyfriend. I feel as if the boyfriend is only using her for her looks/ sex. My family has a long history of 16-20 year old women becoming mothers too quick. I'm the only one (so far) who isn't a mother at 21.
I told my mom that my cousin had just fucked her life up and that she needs to get a job and not try to rely on her parents money. My mother got mad because I wasn't like everyone else in the family who was excited and kissing my cousin's ass.
I blame her parents for not putting her on birth control when I told them that I know guys around her boyfriend's age and how a lot of them are known to leave once they get the girl pregnant. I blame the boyfriend for not being mature enough to buy condoms.
I defended myself by saying "if I've gotten pregnant at her age, you would be pissed off. Why are we kissing her ass for spreading her legs without protection."
I understand that a pregnancy is a huge thing in my family because of the history of young women getting pregnant. It could also be the fact that I have a hormonal condition that would make it hard for me to have children if I wanted them and that i could be jealous that I might never have that experience myself.
Am I the asshole for not being happy for my young cousin's pregnancy? ###### | YTA. It's not a matter of not being supportive. It's a matter of you acting like an absolute self righteous jerk. ###### |
My MIL is pretty narcissistic and I did not marry the golden child. She blatantly favors her older son and she is always condescending towards my husband because of financial issues. SIL (married into the family, not her daughter) and MIL are extremely close, like they go on girls weekends pretty frequently, on family vacation they stay up drinking together and sometimes sleep in the same bed, they play with each other's hair, and in my opinion the most uncomfortable thing was when SIL tried to pull off our MIL's bikini top as a joke.
We had family dinner for FIL's birthday last night and after dinner the two of them were laying in the hammock together, I wish I was kidding, sharing a lollipop. I told them that their relationship is creepy as hell and my MIL immediately started saying that I'm jealous and bringing up our money issues. Now my husband is furious with me for saying anything. ###### | YTA. It kind of doesn’t matter whether or not their relationship is creepy, since it is absolutely none of your business. You could have said nothing. ###### |
So my ex has reached out to me to talk, but she doesn't want to hang out unless I'm willing to apologize for the thing that we broke up over.
It was a few years ago. Her little sister wanted to walk when she graduated high school, but by that time she had lost the use of her legs due to a spinal cord injury. She brought it up to me because I work in event services for the school district. I said it may be possible to arrange for her to cross the stage in her wheelchair but it would be a lot of work, and we are already short on resources for these events.
I suggested not walking because it's best to make peace with our places in life. I am not going to become any happier wishing that I had $1 billion for example.
My ex broke up with me over this, but her sister did not end up walking so I think between the two of us we at least had an understanding and that my advice was valued.
Anyway now years later she wants me to apologize for it but I'm just not seeing it. ###### | YTA. It is the school’s responsibility to make accommodations.
You sound lazy at best, ableist at worst, and you definitely sound like the AH.
YTA. ###### |
My boyfriend is a very gross eater, back in his home country he was raised primarily at a farm by his dad where no one really cared for even basic hygeine/eating ettiquite. No, I don't care if his elbows are on the table at dinner, I'm not that pedantic. I don't really care when his hands are dirty when he eats or if he gets sauce all around his mouth.
In this particular instance however, he had just had an allergy attack so his sinuses were really blocked, making it sound really gross when he was eating, breathing, chewing, all at the same time. It's not that great having that noise in your ear when you're just trying to chill out, haha.
So I asked him to please eat his sandwich at the table (literally 1.5 - 2 meters away) because the way he was eating was grossing me out. He got angry and declined saying that I was being stupid. Isn't it more stupid to refuse to move away a few meters so that I don't have to hear his gross eating? I just found this a really rude reaction to an understandable, one-off request. Or am I wrong? AITA? ###### | YTA. If you had an issue, you could have gotten up and moved. ###### |
My (32F) sister (34F) only eats super plain food. She sometimes boils unseasoned potatoes as a snack. She boils all her vegetables. She only eats plain crisps. She doesn't season anything, ever, even chicken. If a recipe calls for 4 chillies, she'll use half of one, or omit it entirely. When I went to stay with her over Xmas, she insisted on cooking for me, but I had to season all my own food on the plate to give it even an ounce of flavour. It's not a health thing, she says that food should 'taste like what it is' and that seasoning is 'cheating'.
Every Wednesday for the past 6 years, my wife and I have eaten a particular curry that we love. It's not super spicy, probably a 6.5/10 on the spice scale. We look forward to it every week and I've got cooking it down to a fine art. My sister came for dinner last Wednesday, and when I her that this is what we'd be having, she told me to cook it 'not spicy' and to only use 1 chilie. The recipe asked for 4. I told her that it wasn't that spicy and I was going to cook it the way my wife and I like it, and that my sister could add some plain yoghurt to hers to cool it down if it was too spicy for her.
That's what I did, and my sister got annoyed at me. She said that I was being a bad host by making her food that she couldn't eat, as when I'd gone to her house I'd been able to season my food on the plate. She said I should have been able to go one week without the curry to accommodate her dietary preferences and that it made her feel unwelcome. I feel like adding yoghurt to her curry was a viable option for her, akin to me having to season my own food at hers, and that she's being hypocritical. My wife says she doesn't want to get involved but that she sees my sister's point as we were hosts and should have been more sensitive to what she likes to eat. Was I the asshole here? ###### | YTA. I'm sure it's annoying, yeah. But you offered to cook her dinner, and then refused to make it in a way she would like. Yes, yes, I know, yoghurt, but from experience with people that averse to spice, that often doesn't make a difference. Make a small side batch of mild curry, make something different, or don't offer in the first place ###### |
So in our drama class, we decided to host a play. The play goes around the central theme of twins being mistaken for each other and deciding on taking advantage of that. The entire play is based on the fact that the twins are identical.
We decided on doing this play because my best friend has an identical twin, and they both are in drama. However, we still had to hold an audition for fairness and for the other roles, and I was the casting director.
My best friend (lets call her twin 1) auditioned for the role of twin 1 and got it, but when it came to the role of twin 2, another girl came to audition. It was her and twin 1's twin, and I decided to give the role to the twin for obvious reasons (it is necessary for the twins to be identical).
Non-twin filed a complaint to the school and the drama council that I was racist (my friend was white and so was her twin, while non-twin was black) and I had to explain that while she did a great job, but to be in the play you have to look similar to the twin and be fitted to the character. She said that I was racist and that her skin color should not limit her roles.
Anyway, I was cut off from my drama club, and I am shunned by my entire school. There are people who don't think I am racist, but they are too afraid to say so. I saw the practice of the play, and I HATE how people are pretending the story makes sense, but since they look so different, it absolutely looks crazy. Imagine the whole point of the story being that A and B look alike, but A is a 5'7 white girl and B is a 5'2 black girl. I think people are crazy for pretending they look identical, and that "they do not see a difference". Maybe I am racist for not letting a girl get the role for how she looked/the color of her skin, but I know if she was white I would not have given her the role and nobody would call me racist.
Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. I say this because you had already cast those roles. You say that "we still had to hold an audition for fairness", but this isn't actually the case. You held auditions so you could be justified in your choice.
In these circumstances, the honest thing to do would have been to announce that the twin roles were pre-cast. That might have caused its own problems, but at least nobody would have auditioned with false expectations.
As it is, you have indeed been racist. ###### |
I (22f) have a younger sister who is 19. When we were both young teenagers, we went through a lot, and our dad ended up leaving. Our mom turned to drugs and alcohol, and my sister and I responded completely differently. I threw myself into my academics and school work, and my sister went down the same path as our mom.
Two years ago, our mom OD’d and my sister had a major wake up call. She vowed to never touch a single drug again and went completely cold turkey. She had bad withdrawals for a while but eventually completely got her life back together. She went to college, got a good job, all that.
Over the past five months or so, I’ve noticed a massive change in my sister. She was suddenly really withdrawn, and always seemed high. I had seen her in a constant state of euphoria for years, and just thought deep down that she was using again. I’m really anxious when it comes to the well-being of my family, so broke down to my boyfriend and asked him what to do. I later decided that night that I would create a fake Tinder account and talk to my sister, in the hopes of finding out what was going on. I knew she had tinder and we quickly matched.
Our conversations turned deep pretty quickly, with her opening up to “me” about our past and her addictions etc. This was over a few days which I felt guilty about but I wanted to find out what was going on. She told me that she’d been fighting cravings for a while, but knew that she’d never go back after seeing our mom. I slowly ghosted her until we didn’t talk anymore.
I ended up having a conversation with my sister a couple days later and told her about the profile I made to find out, she absolutely flipped her shit and couldn’t believe that I didn’t trust her after she insisted she was never going to do it again. I told her I was only looking out for her. AITA? ###### | YTA. I know it was well-intended, but you invaded her privacy and she told you in confidence without even knowing it was you. How can she trust you now knowing you don't trust her? ###### |
A few months ago, my 24 year old daughter was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. She has been taking prednisone to help with the inflammation so that she can keep foods down. Prednisone is not to be taken long-term, so her doctor wants her to start on a biologic drug called Humira. I am very much against this, because these drugs are strong immune system suppressants that also have the potential to cause cancer... Nasty stuff.
For years and years I've done research on natural remedies and supplements that are good for the body.. I raised my kids on them and I believe that with a strict diet and consistently taking dietary supplements, my daughter's inflammation will go down and she wont NEED to take the crappy medicine her doctor recommends. But my daughter wants to take the biologic medicine.. instead of putting in the hard work to achieve a healthy anti-inflammatory diet. She won't listen to me no matter what I tell her about the medicine and what these supplements will do for her..
Initially I said that I would not help pay for this medicine (it's expensive). She said that she would "find a way" to afford it herself.. She works part-time at Target. She still planned on getting the medicine so I told her that if she decided to go the biologic route, her stepfather will be taking her off of our insurance. I told her this out of desperation, because I really do not want her on this stuff. She started crying over the phone, which wasn't what I intended. Of course I love my daughter and I don't want to make her cry, but I feel like this is the best thing to do for her. AITA? ###### | YTA. I have Crohn’s disease, and if it wasn’t for biologics I would be dead right now. I tried to go with natural remedies as long as I could and ended up doing more damage because I refused the biologics at first. Your method is wrong. This is a real disease, and not something you can just “overcome”. It never goes away, and the best we can hope for is remission (usually with biologics or colostomy bags). So please reconsider your perspective on this issue, because you aren’t a doctor and don’t truly understand. I truly hope that she can get her own insurance and assiance from humera so that she can be independent of your bias. ###### |
I(24M) am getting married to my gf(25f) next year in tuscon on our anniversary . I sent out invites to the wedding to people in my friend circle . The next day another friend of mine announced to the group that she was getting married at the same place a month before i am getting married. I felt that people would attend her wedding since it came first and most of them wouldn't be able to afford a trip for mine within the one month gap. I got mad at her and told her that if she wouldn't change the date , the friendship between us would be over . To which she complied and changed the date to the anniversary of meeting her fiance which is in January . She called me a loser and has been ignoring me for these few days . AITA for making her change the dates? ###### | YTA. I didn’t know toddlers could get married.... ###### |
Earlier this year we sat down and had a talk about marriage. It's something we both want, and we agreed that we'll get engaged sometime before the end of the year. I was very clear to my GF that it will happen this year but would not give her a more specific time frame than that because I want it to be a surprise when it happens. She was fine with that as long as we get engaged this year. That's all that matters to her or so she said.
A couple of her friends recently got engaged which is when she started pressure me to propose sooner rather than later. I told her I was still in the process of planning things, which is true, and she'd have to wait. From that point on it seemed like every day or every couple days I was getting aggressive hints about proposing.
It eventually got out of hand and so last week when she again did this it upset me enough that I got down on my knee and started saying things that made it sound like I was going to propose. I sort of intended it to be sarcasm, which is often how I express frustration, but it didn't come across that way. She started to get excited so I quickly stopped and told her I wasn't proposing but that she needed to stop rushing me.
She thinks what I did was really cruel but I don't see it that way. I see it as a poor attempt to tell her to be patient but not anything way out of line. ###### | YTA. I did this to my now fiancée and made her cry. This was a total asshole move by both you and I. I made up by doing an awesome proposal but I acknowledge this was one of the stupidest, cruelest things I’ve ever done. ###### |
My wife of eight years and I have a seven year old son together, seven since May. We've had our rough patches, but I can say with certainty we've never had any major disagreements about how to raise our son.
We were out shopping a few days ago and split up to cover ground more quickly. Once I'd grabbed the things I was supposed to grab, I texted my wife to find out where she was, and she responded she had to use the restroom. So I decided to go wait by the restrooms at the front of the store. In the store in our town, there's 3 bathrooms: a men's, a women's, and a single person unisex bathroom. I didn't see my son waiting outside, so I assumed he was in the men's room. He's always been more than capable of using it by himself before.
So I was surprised to see them come out of the unisex bathroom together. I asked her if she'd been the one using it and she said she was, so I asked her why she took our son with her. I admit I might've sounded accusatory when doing it. She said she didn't want to leave him alone, I asked her why she didn't have him wait in the men's room or come find me to watch him. She said she didn't think she needed to. Our conversation stopped there.
My son later sought me out at home to ask me about the 'fight' his mom and me had at the store. I told him we weren't fighting. And I told him that was wrong and he should refuse if there's ever a situation like that again. Well, it turns out he was going between us, because he came back to me later to tell me his my wife said he wasn't in trouble because she said it was okay (I never told my son he was in trouble over it). We haven't discussed the matter, but there's kind of a 'mood' in the house because we realize we're telling our son things behind the other's back.
Surely I'm not the asshole here? At 7 years old, that was very inappropriate, and it's my job to tell my son what is and isn't appropriate. ###### | YTA. How in the world was in inappropriate!? Leaving an unattended 7 year old would be inappropriate. Even sending him into the men's room while she wasn't right outside waiting but in her own bathroom would've been inappropriate. Please explain how being in a bathroom with someone that is your parent is inappropriate.
She ensured your son's safety and I'm certain she had him turn away as she was using the toilet. If he was 17, sure I could see you being like wtf wife, but he is only 7 for goodness sake. I've done the same thing at that age. You don't ever compromise your kid's safety by leaving them outside of a bathroom at a store at that age. ###### |
When my husband and I got married, we agreed that he would work and I would stay home and raise our kids.
Now we have two kids. Our son is 17 while our daughter is 7. Our daughter has special needs ( don’t want to get into it too much). We have a part time babysitter to help out with teaching her how to socialize.
She goes to public school, but teachers are always concerned about the fact that she’s very behind socially and learning wise.
At our last chat with school administrators they suggested that we look into sending her to a private special education school because the staff there were more trained and they think our daughter could benefit from more resources.
My husband said that we couldn’t afford to keep our daughter in this school more than a semester with our family finances.
Yesterday he sat me down and said that he printed out job listings for part time receptionist level positions and started begging me to apply. He also said that if I didn’t do that I really shouldn’t have a charge account at a local department store.
I was extremely offended because when we married he promised me that he would always take care of the family.
And I married him thinking that we had shared values that this would be a marriage where my job was to stay home and care for the kids.
In addition, I used to work reception 18 years ago but always told him about how it was a very demeaning job. I just feel I can’t deal with the emotional stress of customers even for four hours a day and still be a good mom.
So I told my husband that I didn’t want to get a job and that I shouldn’t have to. He’s a mover with a company but also freelances, but recently he’s taken less and less freelance jobs that could have contributed to the household.
AITA? ###### | YTA. He literally sat you down and begged you to get a job and you were... offended? Jesus Christ. ###### |
My sister is 21 and I am 36M.
My parents died a few years ago and left their estate and business to me. My sister has a trust fund she can access when she’s 25. Until then, I am paying for all her expenses, including college tuition and if she wants to eat out or go shopping.
My sister and I have had a great relationship for her whole life. She’s the type that never goes out, never parties in college, and calls me every day when she’s away at school.
But when she turned 21, it’s like a switch flipped and she started talking about wanting to go out and meet guys. I encouraged her to find a guy who she could see herself in a long term relationship or a marriage with, but she said she feels like she missed out on college life.
Yesterday when she was at her primary physician’s office she asked the doctor if they could look into birth control. Then she asks me, in front of the doctor, if it’s ok for her to get it. I felt irritated to have been put on the spot and said we’d talk about it.
When we got home, I said that our dad disapproved of birth control and I did as well, and I couldn’t just let her do everything she wanted just because our father was gone.
She started crying and I reminded her that it was my money and I have been more than generous with her, letting her get designer bags that she wanted that my mom probably would have made her show her good semester grades for.
AITA? Because overall I feel that I am able to spend my money how I please and in addition, my family is very traditional and I don’t want to go against my father’s values just because he is not here. I feel she should focus on her studies and then later when she’s 23 and out of college focus on finding a man that’s also a life partner.
I feel that if I give her that green light she will end up contracting diseases and in general develop a bad reputation which would be a shame because she is universally well liked by family, friends, professors, and classmates alike. ###### | YTA. First you act like you ARE her father, and second, she is now old enough to make her own contraceptive choices.
Do you want her getting pregnant?
Generally when an adult tries to get contraception, they are being responsible about stuff they are going to do anyway. Deal with it. ###### |
My wife and I had a baby girl about 8 weeks ago. I love her, but to me she looks like any other baby I've ever seen. I don't think she looks like either myself or my wife, which is fine. I don't think she should at this point, and even if she never does, so what? It's not a big deal. However, my family is different.
When my parents visited us my mother went on and on about how much my daughter looks like me. Then my wife joined in and started saying the same thing; she has said it before but this time was much more over the top. I thought they both were being ridiculous since I didn't see any resemblance myself, and I told them I thought they were imagining things.
This led to them both trying to convince me of how much my daughter looks like me. I kept denying it until finally the conversation ended.
My wife has been upset ever since that day because I continue to deny that I see any likeness. She has taken my denials to mean I don't think our daughter is mine and is demanding we get a paternity test done now because I refuse to say my daughter looks like me. She also is upset because she says that I embarrassed her by "denying" our daughter in front of my mom.
I don't want or need one, but why is it a crime to say I don't think our daughter looks like me? She and my mother both act like I am the asshole for simply stating facts or my belief. I don't understand their weird obsession or why I have to agree to see things that aren't there or be the asshole. Had they not make such a big deal out of it and tried to force me into admitting something I don't believe then I would not have said anything.
This whole situation is confusing, and I don't understand how I could be the asshole. ###### | YTA. Dude. You know exactly why you're the asshole here. Your wife's told you. If it's not that big a deal to you whether the baby looks like you, fine: just say that she's her own person, and you look forward to watching her grow. Don't go out of your way to reject the connection. ###### |
I work as attorney. I focus on criminal law so I'm pretty versed in other areas of law. My partner has a friend ("Diana") who loves giving out legal advice even though she is not a lawyer. For example, another friend of my partner said she might be fired soon. Diana claimed that an employer can't just fire you without a reason and if they do then you sue them. Ignorant shit like that.
My favorite is when she say "don't worry, everything will be okay" when in reality, based on the problem they have, they SHOULD be worried. The lawyer in me wants to jump in and correct her. I don't because that ends up with my going in some rabbit hole with people who can't handle being wrong and usually resort calling you "racist" or something. Diana would turn it into a debate about her beliefs and not what's lawful/unlawful. So I let them shoot themselves in the foot.
The other night, another friend of hers posted a concern she had about taxes on FB. Diana gave a very incorrect answer (which was to the effect of "you will loose more money if you do that with your taxes!") to her question. I injected and asked them if they wanted some real legal advice, which they did. I said never seek legal advice from people who don't know the difference between "loose" and "lose." That humiliated her.
My partner said I was out of line and Diana was trying to help. I said Diana has no business dispensing legal advice when she has no idea what she's talking about. ###### | YTA. Attorney here and quite honestly, most criminal law attorneys know next to nothing about transactional law, unless they are white collar crime defense attorneys. Even then, I find it insufferable to hear your insinuation that you’re “pretty well-versed in other areas of law,” because it’s just incredibly unlikely and you sound like a total snob. So first demerit falls there. Lay people give weird advice about the law all the time. I see it happen everyday. But it is an asshole move to use your educational privilege to make someone feel small. You gave no meaningful correction or help to her advice; and instead chose to ridicule her intelligence—which not cool. ###### |
My husband and I will be getting married in August. I have 7 bridesmaids, one of which was supposed to be my best friend, Rachel. Rachel and I have been best friends since we were 4 and I love the girl to death. Rachel wears glasses as she was born with a squint and has an astigmatism.
When the topic came up, I told her I’d like her to wear contacts for my wedding as they’re easier to work with when it comes to makeup, more aesthetically pleasing and makes sure there’s no glare in wedding photos which is obviously essential. Rachel refused as she struggles wearing contacts as they don’t help her sight at all apparently. Her prescription is supposedly too strong.
I told her she couldn’t be a part of my wedding party if she wasn’t going to listen to my requests and my friends have all said that it was really uncalled for. It’s my wedding so I think it should be a given that I get what I want but everyone seems to think I’ve been really unfair. AITA? ###### | YTA. Are you serious? She can take off her glasses for your photos. But for the service itself, do all the bridesmaids have to be Vogue models? I guarantee you’re the only one who cares about her glasses. You are about to lose a friend for life. ###### |
My 19yo son is about 6ft and needs to lose about 20 pounds. He was always skinny, but I suspect his eating habits got bad while he was at college and he just wasn't working out. He's been home since March and I've been egging him to go to workout with me. He doesn't want to. We had a 4th of July picture taken of us and he could no longer hide that belly. I tell my son discreetly that he has put on weight and he denies it. He says I am the only one who tells him that.
Tonight, he came home with Taco Bell. I don't think I've had Taco Bell since high school and I would rather have let my kids starve before feeding them that garbage. My younger son who is 9 asked him what he had. He had order three burritos and these churro things. Oh, and a Dr. Pepper. My son replied "no wonder you're so fat." It came out of so left-field that I couldn't help but to laugh. My 9yo is hardly mean. He's just very blunt and observant. ###### | YTA. And your 9 year old isn’t much better. ###### |
My late wife passed away three years ago, I been married with my current wife for 6 months now.
My son (15) disrespects my wife and would always hurt her with his words.
I tried to get him to get used to his new life but he always says he can't wait to leave.
My son has always wanted to go to college, he's aiming to go study at his favorite which is out of the state.
He wants to be a doctor it's his dream, his mom passed away from cancer and he said he wanted to be a doctor, do researches to help people with this type of diesease, I thought that this shows the good side of him and how emapathatic he can be, I just don t get why he doesn't get along with his stepmom, she's always nice to him, her feelings were hurt when he yelled at her for cleaning up his room this morning.
I told him that if he doesn't start treating my wife with respect then I won't save up any money for his college and will just send him to a tuition-free community college.
He got mad at me, told me I was trying to buy him with my money, and that I was being a horrible daf, he brought up his friends and how lucky they were to have good dads, I cut the conversation and told him to go to his room, he started crying and said that I care about what my wife wants more than him.
I was just trying to give him consequences for his behavior but it just got worse, he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. ###### | YTA. An appropriate consequence for teenage backtalk is more along the lines of no car privileges or taking video games away for a week. Not threatening the kid's life ambitions.
Also, how long were you and your wife together before you got married? What steps did you take to introduce her to your son? Did you talk to him about the fact that you moving on didn't mean you were trying to replace his mom, or did you just plop this woman into his life and expect him to treat her like the person he's still clearly mourning? Y'all need family therapy, not punitive measures. ###### |
My friend has desperately wanted a pair of Vans Classics but can't afford £60 for them. Today we met up and she had a pair on which I was surprised at but she was so excited to finally have a pair. I asked her where she got them from and she said eBay. I commented on the fact she's said she can't afford a pair but she said with a massive smile 'I got them for £15, someone was selling their old ones that they have barely worn'. The shoes did look pretty new but I told her wearing second hand shoes is disgusting as you don't know who's worn them before you and what germs they might be carrying on their feet. She told me to mind my own business as not everyone can afford brand new stuff and she grew up being dressed in charity shops due to her parents being poor. I told her clothes are different as you wash them before wearing them which she sharply replied 'well I'll wash these shoes if you're going to make such a big deal about it' and changed the subject. I'm starting to feel a bit bad now for what I said as she genuinely seemed hurt ###### | YTA. 2nd hand shoes gross you out, but I'm guessing you've used a public toilet.. ###### |
It’s as simple as that. We like each other, we support each other, we do things for each other often. It irked me that he needed me, his wife, to sew a button on his pants because he didn’t know how (that was his explanation about why I should do it.) It felt demeaning in that ‘because you are a woman and I am a man and this is your job’ kind of way.
So should he have noodled out how to thread a needle and poke it through a buttonhole, or should I have done it ‘just to be nice’?
I didn’t do it. He took the pants to the dry cleaner to have it done. ###### | YTA. “We like each other, we support each other, we do things for each other often.” Well, I guess that’s not true. ###### |
So my daughter’s 7th birthday was last month and my mother-in-law got her these dolls called LOL dolls from target. They looked like mini versions of Bratz dolls but I didn’t think anything of it as they looked like regular dolls. These dolls happen to be my daughter’s favorite toys and I actually bought her more of these dolls from Target.
Well, today I was scrolling on Facebook and this viral video of a mom warning about these dolls. She undressed the dolls and dipped the dolls in water, once the dolls were dipped in water they start wearing lingerie. my jaw dropped, some of the dolls had fishnets on, lower back tattoos, stockings, and bondage outfits. Part of me thought this is too disgusting to be true so I took some of my daughters dolls in a bowl of water and it wasn’t a conspiracy theory, two of the dolls had lingerie on when i dipped them in water. This was no where to be seen on the packaging or any of the information that came with the toys.
I felt so disgusted that i even bought these toys so i threw them all away. when my daughter found out she had a full on melt down and screamed at me. I couldn’t tell her the full extent of why i threw them away so I told her that the dolls had on inappropriate clothing when you dipped them in water.
i told my mother-in-law about the dolls and showed her the facebook video and she’s now very angry with me saying that the dolls weren’t inappropriate and apart of their rocker aesthetic. she’s demanding that i pay her back the money she spent on the dolls because they were expensive. I don’t know if anyone else saw the facebook video but am i in the right for throwing the dolls away? ###### | YTA.
You are right to be concerned. But you also need to respect that those dolls didn't belong to you, they belonged to your daughter. And you need to consider not just the impact on your daughter if she figures out the dip in water thing, but also the **impact on your relationship with your daughter caused by taking her possessions she loves and destroying them**. Imagine if someone took away something you love and trashed it- you'd probably want them out of your life ASAP.
I want you to take a step back for a moment. Imagine your daughter sees an image of a woman in fishnets, with a tattoo, stockings, etc. Would she even know what that is? How much ACTUAL harm do you think would be done? And when (be realistic) do you think she will encounter this image on her own (perhaps in movies or TV)?
OTOH, how much harm do you think was done when her mother, the person she trusts (trusted) most in the world, someone she would go to with her problems, someone who she *knows* loves her more than anything, takes her possessions and trashes them without warning or explanation? That teaches her that mother is not to be trusted, mother will sometimes do malicious things (from her POV) and won't have much reason why. And so she learns, maybe that unconditional love for mom shouldn't be so unconditional.
That doesn't mean you aren't right to be upset about the dolls. What you should maybe have tried is explain to her that under some circumstances the clothing on the dolls can change, explained to her the difference between appropriate and inappropriate clothing (IE people should cover their private parts), and explain that sometimes things that are bad are presented as being cool or fun by people who want you to buy or do bad things.
Or maybe you could have explained that there was a problem with the toys and their manufacturing got screwed up so they are dangerous, so you want to trade with her- she will give up the LOL dolls but you will replace them with something good of her choice so let's go to Amazon or the toy store and pick something out together.
Or you could have been patient, and waited for her to get bored of the LOL dolls, and then it would have been easier to get rid of them.
Or you could have been clever- give the dolls a coating with some pink spraypaint or a permanent paint marker. Thus the 'hidden outfit' never appears. This could even have been an activity you do with her.
Your protective emotion comes from the right place. But you need to keep it in check and recognize that YOU CAN HURT HER way more than a doll with some paint on it. ###### |
My (28M) fiancee (26F) found out it was probably going to be extremely difficult for her to have kids, if not, impossible about a month ago after a couple of tests & doctors appointments & whatnot.
She new for A MONTH & didn’t say a single word to me.
I didn’t even find out about it from her. I found out because my sister asked me how I am dealing with it.
I came home and asked my fiancee if it was true & she very reluctantly confirmed it. I lost my temper, yelled at her, & she just stood there, not saying a word, not yelling, not offering an explanation LIKE SHE SHOULD HAVE. She just stood there crying and trying to make ME feel back for HER.
We were supposed to get married in November, but I don’t know anymore. Neither of us has spoken to each other since yesterday when I found out.
I always wanted kids of my own (not adopted, not surrogate) and we have talked about having kids in the distant future more times than I can count. Tbh, if she had know about this earlier in our relationship, I probably would no have moved forward.
I thought we had good communication, but clearly not.
I loved our relationship before, but now she’s lying to me and might not be able to have kids. Obviously there is more to our relationship than just kids, but it's something I've alway wanted.
AITA?
Tl;dr: my fiancee found out she's infertile a month ago and i found out from my sister. We argued about it and haven't talked since. Now I don't know what to do. ###### | YTA.
Look, i get that you have anger here. You wanted to have kids and your fiance just found out that's not possible and you're feeling a keen loss here. I'm a father myself - i cannot fathom what you're going through.
But your hurt and upset and anger? ***How can you take it out on the woman who just found out her own body betrayed her?*** Take your head out of your ass, man. Your fiance is *hurting* right now in a way you and I cannot possibly understand because we're men.
Ok, she didn't tell you right away...you can be angry about that. But your overreaction suggests to me that *this is what she was justifiably worried about*.
I mean, you've gone from loving this person enough to spend your life together to throwing her away because she can't provide you biological children? You asshole.
She's lucky to have escaped you. ###### |
My GF has asked for space after our recurrent arguments and stated her family was angry w/me for some of what I said. But we have continued to text and call throughout said space. So yesterday I figured I'd go to her house (while she was not there) to visit them and just to blunt the blow of their anger toward me. No family member made any comments and it was seemingly going all right, then my GF came back from work and asked me on the side "what are you doing here?". I replied with "visiting". Two hours later my GF says we need to talk so we go outside and immediately begin to argue. She says I disrespected her need for space and came to her house uninvited and she wondered what my true goal was. I responded by saying the last time her family was mad at me they chewed me out for not coming by for a couple weeks so I did not want to repeat that, and said regardless of her and my issues, they're still family and I wanted to just simply visit to see how they are.
Edit 1: It's clear I made the wrong move and am the AH. I'll follow through with her need for space as I should have the first time. Thank you all. ###### | YTA.
Do not drop in to someone's house uninvited and stay for hours.
Do not drop by someone's house during a pandemic.
La k of direct comments by her family upon you arrival mean they are polite or want to avoid confrontation. Not that they were excited to have you come spend hours at their house against their daughter's wishes.
If someone says I need space you give them space.
They aren't your family. Cut the crap. If you legit had concerns about them being upset you didn't visit every two weeks then you talk to your friend about your intentions and do not ambush her. ###### |
Context: I go to uni and draw as a hobby and as a way to get some money. I did various drawing lessons when I was younger and Im a very qualified and talented artist.
So my aunt(42f), uncle(40sm) and my cousin(6m) are staying at my house(parents house), and today my cousin put his filthy kid hands at the sketch of a drawing I was going to produce. I screamed at him many times and he started to cry, both my parents and his parents got mad at me and they said it was just a drawing and it doenst justify to scream at a kid, but danm, he is 6, not a fucking toddler, he is aware of his actions and if his parents dont teach him manners I will. After that shit I took some food and water and locked myself at my room so this little devil doenst touch my drawings again. Am I the asshole? It just doenst make sense that my parents got mad at me, I mean, I understand why his parents got angry since they are helicopter/overprotective parents, but not my parents. ###### | YTA. "Sketch of drawing" not the drawing? Screamed "many times"? You are too much. ###### |
My parents are really good looking. Like you’d think they were movie stars if they walked past you on the road.
I’m a 15 year old girl. Recently, I’ve started to notice that I’m quite plain looking as compared to my family. I stand out as the ugly duckling in family photos. Even people who see my with mom or dad find it hard to believe that I’m their offspring.My baby brother is a very cute kid too. He’s always getting compliments on how he’s gonna be a great looking lad when he grows up.
I don’t really care about the looks part, it doesn’t bother me much. But I was very curious as to how two people as good looking as my parents made a child as average as me. I thought maybe I took after one of my grandparents or relatives, but nope, they all look great too. I’ve tried asking this to my parents and they’ve brushed me off saying that I look good. My mom had an average looking boyfriend before dad happened and I asked her if it was possible that I was his child. Or from any other possible affair.
Dad told me that I shouldn’t be cooking up conspiracy theories in my head and if I was having any self esteem issues, I should feel free to talk to them or to a therapist. Mom is still being a bit cold towards me. I love my parents but I was just being a nosy idiot. I didn’t mean to disrespect my mom. I’ve tried apologising to her but she’s told me that I crossed a line and to give her some time.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You absolutely crossed a line in accusing your mother of having an affair with absolutely zero evidence to support that accusation. ###### |
For the record my wife knew what an asshole I was when she married me and therefore consented to all of these pranks. I probably do more to her but when she wants to get even she is straight up vicious.
I have six year old twins who just started virtual kindergarten and one of their first project was to do a science experiment. It didn’t have to be very scientific. Basically they just had to make a prediction about something and do it to see if they were right or not. Parents are allowed to help since it is kindergarten. All of the ideas they were coming would have been very hard to execute, so I came up with the idea to put their moms hand in warm water and see if we could make her piss herself.
The kids thought it was fun, they wrote their little sentence, and my wife was not happy about the pictures being sent in but like I said, we do this stuff to each other and she was not seriously angry.
The teacher said it was inappropriate and teaching my kids to “hurt” people for fun. I thought that was ridiculous and an insult to our parenting. I told her that she is misinformed and ignorant. She’s only been their teacher for two weeks, she knows nothing about us, and my wife was out but if she was there she would call her ignorant as well. My wife said the teacher is ridiculous but I shouldn’t be picking fights two weeks in. ###### | YTA. This isn't a science experiment, it's a prank that caused embarrassment to your wife and was done without her consent. ###### |
This happened a few years ago. I was at a waterpark with a few friends for my birthday. It was a group of 15. We all planned to just pay for ourselves and have a good few hours, but one of my friends decided he would pay for everyone as a gift to me. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted on spending nearly $600 so no one else had to pay.
A few hours after, we all decided to congregate near the food court and get something to eat. The friend who paid for everyone's admission didn't order any food and instead thought we'd all share with him. Some people gave him a couple fries, someone bought him a drink, but I didn't want to share my food. I had a burrito, how do you even share that?
Upon hearing I wouldn't share, he got cold and left the waterpark early. I actually haven't spoken to him since then because he removed me from Facebook.
This is a situation I think about often when I'm laying in bed. Was I in the wrong for not sharing despite him spending $600 for the group? It was my birthday, why should I even share? ###### | YTA. In a situation like this, you should have gone ahead and shared or asked what he wanted and paid for it in exchange for him paying for your ticket. It was extremely socially awkward of you not to and I see why it keeps you up at nights.
So glad that burrito was worth losing a friend over. ###### |
My bedroom is in the bottom floor of my house about 10 feet away from my sisters bedroom, meaning I can smell and hear everything in it. Everything is usually fine regarding this except for the fact that she pisses her bed nightly when she's in 6th grade. I normally can't say anything about it because my mom defends her and believes that confronting her will cause physiological damage. My sister has told my dad that she's too lazy to get out of her bed at night and use the bathroom, so she just doesn't care. Meanwhile I have to smell piss from my bed every night and day and recently I've reached a breaking point. I go into her room and struggle not to gag as I speak my mind. My mom heard this and proceeds to go wild on me and my dad who agrees that my sisters habbit is ridiculous. Now I'm grounded and my sister continues to pee her bed and will continue to do so as my mom will defend her til she moves out of the house. AITA for just wanting my room and the area around it to stop smelling like my 12 year old sisters piss? ###### | YTA. 12 year olds don’t just piss the bed because they are lazy; enuresis is a medical issue. She likely told your dad that she was being lazy because she was too embarrassed to admit that she wasn’t able to hold it, or that by the time she woke up it was too late.
Don’t be mad at your sister, if anything, be mad at your parents for not seeking medical attention for you sister. When you go for you next check up at the pediatrician, I would make sure you tell the pediatrician your sisters problem in case your sister or your parents don’t. ###### |
My daughter and her husband (34 and 33 respectively) just went through a second failed IVF cycle.
At the realization that they failed yet again to become parents, her husband was devastated. They live in New York but he said he’s going to extend his business trip in South Beach and stay with a friend for a few weeks to catch up.
My daughter is asking me for money to get counseling. She recently lost her corporate job and her husband refuses to pay for counseling or go. The only available therapist that specializes in infertility counseling in her area is apparently out of network.
My daughter tells me that she doesn’t know when she can pay me back because her husband controls most of the finances.
And to be honest, I wasn’t sympathetic to her cause because when she was 21, she was pregnant and even her boyfriend at the time was a great man (unlike what we all think of her current husband) and intended raise the baby with her, she said that she didn’t want to “do this” with a 36 year old and aborted it.
All signs at the time pointed to a healthy pregnancy and we were all mentally prepared to help her through it and babysit it, and what she did upset a lot of people.
I do feel like she threw away the chance to be a mother because of her need for everything to line up and be perfect.
So I told her that I was really reluctant to spend a bunch of money to comfort her and assuage her feelings when she’s apparently forgotten that she had a healthy pregnancy but didn’t appreciate her expected child at that time.
And for that reason I don’t really want to give her the money and will not. AITA? I just don’t think there’s much more to accept than the fact that she had a chance before and she opted out of it, and because of that she has to accept she may never be a parent and move on from it, just like her father and I have had to, with no sympathy from her. ###### | YTA. It’s disgusting that you would withhold help for your daughter because she had an abortion before she was ready to be a parent.
Not wanting to give her money is one thing and perfectly fine; not wanting to give her money because she has an abortion 13 years ago is disgusting. ###### |
Earlier today, I had orientation for a new job. It was basically just a candy store in a local mall. It's not much, but I figured that it would beat my dead-end call center job. Me and a small group of other new hires arrived and were given a basic lesson on customer service and handling the cash register, but then came a moment where the manager called a 10 minute break while he set up our next lesson in another room in the back.
Us new hires just hung around and I decided that since I was on break, I could get a quick bite to eat. There was a Wetzel Pretzel right beneath us on the lower level of the mall and I decided to run there really quickly. One of the new hires told me that that wasn't a good idea, but I told him that we were legally entitled to a break. I ran off and tried to be quick in getting a bag of pretzel bites and a lemonade.
But when I returned, the group was gone and I had to find what room they were in. I knocked on the door and the manager showed up and asked me where I went. I told him that I was just getting a snack while on break, but he said that it "wasn't those types of break". I tried to get into the training room with my pretzels and drink, but then the manager said that it's probably best if I go home. I admit that I didn't look my best. I had spilled a little cheese on my shirt and my fingers were covered in grease, but I was still wanting to continue with the orientation. But the manager said that I just can't wander off like that and that I should take my food and home.
It was embarrassing. The other new hires saw the whole thing and some of them were laughing at me. I just think it weird that the manager called a break, and then acted all shocked when I behaved like someone going on their break. And now it looks like I'm out of a new job. AITA? ###### | YTA. Absolutely you embarrassed yourself. If it wasn’t a meal break, you shouldn’t have left the store. 10 minutes is not long enough to walk down to the store, order food, eat it, and come back . Spilled cheese and greasy fingers are just the icing on the cake. Incredibly unprofessional. ###### |
I have an 8 year old daughter, and to make college more easily accessible for her, my ex wife and I each put money into a shared fund for her. My ex wife and I do not get along, but we make an effort for the sake of our daughter.
At the end of last year, my car basically blew up. Completely blew a gasket, broke down every time I drove it and ended up being written off. My current wife and I decided to save for a new car, and to wait for one I was sure I wanted as I loved my old car.
On my way home from work I drive past a really high end car dealership, basically sells vintage top class cars. They’re absolutely beautiful but I’ve never went in because they’re extremely expensive. A few days ago I drove past it and thought why not, I’ll have a look and just not buy anything. I walked in and saw a truly beautiful Mustang, rang my wife and told her I’d found the car I wanted. We hadn’t saved enough so I used the money from our savings, and without thinking dipped into the college fund my ex wife and I have for our daughter. It was just under $15,000.
I rang my ex wife after I’d bought it to tell her, and assured her I’d put the money back in, but she went ballistic telling me that she’d basically just paid for my car as she puts more money in monthly than I do. I said that was ridiculous and that it doesn’t matter because it’s my money too. She’s now going on about suing me and all sorts which is just ridiculous. AITA? ###### | YTA!!!
You could have bought a car that was more than enough for your needs for a much, MUCH lower price. You took that money and spent it on a vanity, not a necessity. ###### |
So a bit of a backstory is I’m a (27M) in a relationship with a (25M). We’ve been together for two years now, and I do love my boyfriend. The only thing is that he has a pretty severe stutter. His speech impediment isn’t so bad when it’s just me and him, but his anxiety towards his speech goes through the roof when we’re out in public.
In the beginning of our relationship, he would always have me order or speak on his behalf because it lessened his anxiety. But for the past couple months, he’s been taking speech therapy classes and is determined to speak for himself now out in public. The only thing is that he still cannot speak well. Nobody understands him at restaurants, and what should be a quick two minute chat turns into a 30 minute drawn out conversation where the other person is clearly uncomfortable because they can’t understand him.
So I’ve been continuing to speak on his behalf to make things easier for everyone, even though that goes against his wishes and it’s obvious he’s angry with me. He said he needs to practice speaking, but isn’t that what his therapy is for? It obviously makes other people uncomfortable and causes anxiety for my boyfriend, even though he’s trying not to admit it. So am AITA for continuing to speak on his behalf even though he’s told me to stop? ###### | YTA! He needs to do this on his own and you’re being really inconsiderate. Yes, it’s going to be awkward. He won’t overcome this overnight, but this is his battle to overcome. Let him do that. ###### |
Celia dumped me last night and gave me a list of reasons why. Some of them I can understand why and I should have been a better boyfriend to her but there is one that I don't get where's shes coming from.
My now ex turned twenty one in November 2018. We had been dating for almost a year. So there's this indy movie theater in our town that shows old or foreign movies every weekend. And one weekend, they were going to be showing the Naruto movie for the first time. My friends and I fucking love Naruto but it was screening the same Friday as Celia's birthday. In hindsight, I should have just asked Celia if we could celebrate her birthday some other time but I had already been hyping her up on taking her out for a movie and drinks with friends and I already dug myself in too deep for it. And she was going to be out of the country for this study abroad thing so I wasn't to see her for months afterward.
So Celia wanted to do drinks but she wanted to see another movie that was getting some pretty crappy reviews. So I talked her into watching the Naruto movie instead because it was awesome and it would be cool to watch a foreign film on her birthday (Celia loves foreign movies). She was reluctant but had a good time that night. I didn't think about it again until she brought it last night.
Celia told me she was pissed that I pulled a bait and switch on her birthday plans. Especially at the bar after the movie when our friends were gushing about Naruto (her words, not mine), she felt left out and wishing she watched that new Harry Potter movie instead.
Was it an asshole move though? I should have paid Celia more attention in hindsight but we got to do movie and drinks like she wanted? The theater was showing Naruto that one night only and she could have watched her movie any time she wanted, even in another country. ###### | YTA!
Her birthday dude!!! You chose naruto and a night with the bros over her, and that says something. I would be pissed if my bf was like jk we are gunna watch NARUTO instead.
Also a movie that got crappy reviews LOL it was Harry Potter which is a classic for many people your age! ###### |
I was cleaning out storage over the weekend and happened to find my Micheal Meyers (from the Halloween movie franchise) and remembered my daughter was having a mask-required, socially-distanced dance recital tonight. After all, it will work better than a bandana, and I thought a little humor could lighten things up. So I brought the mask to work with me today and came directly from work to the recital. I thought I was being a silly dorky dad.
I ended up getting stuck in traffic and had to come in late and no one really noticed me slipping in and sitting down. As my daughter came on I did kind of a slow “joker clap” for humorous effect (yes, I have to cringe at myself for that now). A bunch of heads turned to look at me but I just kept it cool, stopped clapping, and looked straight ahead. As my daughter danced a very “Karen” type of man ambushed me and told me to get out with that. I thought he was being pretty agressive and didn’t like that he was interrupting my daughter’s dance so I told him that I would be enjoying the rest of the little lady’s performance. He started getting loud, the music stopped, and I soon had to take my crying daughter home. Our nanny who was there when this happened said the mask was funny but asking for trouble. She usually tries to flatter me so I don’t know. Was I the asshole? ###### | YTA: you wore an inappropriate mask to a school and clapped like a creep at a young girl dancing.
Just be glad they didn't call the cops. And be glad that 'Karen' was willing to put themselves in between a child and someone they saw as a threat. ###### |
Hello AITA,
I've found myself somewhat confused by a recent interaction, and so I thought I'd come to see how wrong I may or may not have been.
I normally live in a relatively major city; there, it is considered quite common that, as long as you keep buying drinks and don't cause trouble or too much noise, you can sit at a table and work on your laptop as long as you want. I would say that I've never seen this cafe at more than 50% capacity, and I'd say that half the customers do not buy any drinks, but just talk to the staff, and then leave.
Due to COVID, I've ended up back in an old hometown. I tend to do my work remotely, and I found a local cafe with about 10 tables to work at. I've gone 5 times, I'd say. I buy my drink, find a single table to sit at, set up my laptop. I work from 11am to 3pm, and then I get up and leave. I make a real point to never leave mess, I always tip when ordering the drink, and I'd say over the 4 hours I work, I normally buy 1-3 drinks at about £3.15 per drink, plus I give the last change of what I pay as a tip (usually like 5 or 10p or whatever).
Today, as I cleaned up and dropped off the cup to the counter, the staff member stops me and says, neither politely nor rudely, that she didn't want me to come back anymore, that the shop was independent, that I was using too much electricity *(I plug my laptop into a socket)*, and that I stay too long *(I stay at most 4 hours, as it closes at 3pm, or if I get there after lunch, I'll stay 2 hours)*. I repeated the line about me using too much electricity *(I'd never heard such a thing in my life; it wasn't like I'd brought an extension cable and used it to mine bitcoin, I was literally only using a MacBook charger).* I was shocked, and left without really saying much after that.
AITA? ###### | YTA: I know you didn't intend to be, but you kind of are in this situation. You're occupying a table for 4 hours and leaving a very minimal tip and spending very little money while there. I don't know about where you are, but here in the US restaurants and bars are limited to a small percentage of their occupancy because of COVID. That means you're taking tables away from other people who could be using them for those 4 hours and not even coming close to compensating the staff for the money they'd make if there were 5 or 6 different parties seated at your table during that time. Stop by and get a drink but do your work somewhere else or from home. Unless you asked before you started being there for 4 hours a day on a regular basis, YTA. ###### |
My husband's older half siblings hate MIL. My husband and I currently aren't getting along with her either, so honestly we all talk a lot of shit about her. This woman is truly evil and one of the worst people i've ever met, but one thing really bothers me. They call her FIL's mail order bride. MIL is hispanic and FIL is white, and i feel like they wouldn't use that specific term if she was white as well. MIL recently went nuclear and got FIL to cut all of his children out of the will.
Up until that point he had been leaving about 70% of his money to her anyway and it is more money than she could possible need, so I know it is based on punishing DH and her stepkids. He changed his will and is leaving them $10 each so they can't contest it.
We had dinner last night and of course making fun of her is our favorite topic, but the mail order bride thing came up again, combined with how they say her name. MIL has a hispanic name which is popular in English and Spanish (think Maria, Sofia, etc) and they pronounce it with such a thick accent though she doesn't even has an accent.
DH said that bitch isn't even my mom anymore. I just have my dad and the mail order bride. I asked if she was white if they would call her that and DH and his siblings got very upset. MIL is half hispanic, so DH is mostly white and doesn't feel any connection. They all told me i was overreacting. I said we can call her a slut and a bitch just fine, and we don't need to use that term or make fun of her name. Now all of them are very angry and think I was insensitive to their pain.
DH pointed out after dinner that his mom had made a bitchy social media post joking about spending all their money and not giving them anything, so he said i defended the indefensible and I took her side. ###### | YTA: I'm going for YTA as you actually thinking you are being a good person here.
Calling anyone those names are awful you aren't better for drawing a line at the rasist remark when you still openly relish in the sexist ones.
Fine if she is the worst person in the world, cut contact then.
Calling her names and spending the majority of your family gathering shit talking makes you as low as her.
Again gossiping and name calling is gross and ugly and I found in the past if I ever did it I felt low and more of a negative person after.
We all need to vent sometimes but the fact you say it's your go to thing as a family makes me really sad for you all. ###### |
i(F29) told my (F27) friend/bridemaid she is no longer invited to my wedding.
i had a rule after choosing my bridemaids and that was i will choose everything from their dress to their make up and they seemed on board and to be honest it is my right as the BRIDE because it is MY wedding.
a friend reached out to me privately and told me she's not comfortable with changing her hairstyle because it is not easy to style African-American hair and she liked her dreads. now this is where it all started i told her that i would be willing to pay no matter the price for her hair i have no ill feelings towards her and i don't mind her hair but it would look extremely awkward next to the other bridesmaids and would stand out in pictures. again this is MY wedding and its supposed to be about ME. now if she was just a guest i wouldn't mind but she's a bridemaid which means she would be standing next to me in pictures and sitting next to me. she told me it is not about the price and she doesn't want to take them out and that heat can damage her hair i told her i respect her decision but she is no longer invited to my wedding UNLESS she changes her hairstyle (i'm honestly willing to re-invite her but only as a guest)
my friends opinions are divided some think i have the right to request that because it is my wedding and others think that telling my bridesmaids to wear certain hairstyles is too controlling. i'm really stressed about my wedding and i don't want to ruin it before it even happens.
AITA FOR TELLING MY FRIEND TO CHANGE HER HAIR? ###### | YTA: As a black woman i think you are a complete racist asshole. Black people hair is not like white people hair. We cannot wear the same styles as you because it is not healthy for our hair. Just like white people shluldnt be wearing certain black hair styles because your hair is too weak. At this point I hope she cuts contact with your toxic and racist behind.
Also do you know how long it takes to get our hair dreads to lock. It’s a long time consuming process. It’s requires specific hair products and money if you pay someone to retwist them. How dare you demand that she basically waste her time, and effort and money to get dreads. Dreads are a beautiful black style that is professional and classy.
Thank you all for the awards!!!! ###### |
Am I an asshole if I ask my sister to not come out to our parents two days before my birthday?
My sister is a new baby trans woman. She just started going to a doctor and taking steps to become the woman she is. I've been her support since she came out to me, and have even paid for doctors visits and contributed to her GoFundMes.
It is not safe for her to come out to our parents and will result in all kinds of shit. Including her needing to find immediate housing. Our parents are horrible people and will kick her out. I was abused by them for years and years before I moved out and severely limited contact with them. They don't even know I'm queer or that I've moved in with my partner- nor will they support that. She still lives at home.
She JUST started hormones and has decided that she wants to come out to them. I fully support this and have told her that I will stand with her and she can stay with me and my partner if needed.
She just texted me today and said that she wants to come out to them, and I was excited until she told me the date. Two days before my birthday. I'm kind of hurt by the erasure of my birthday, even though I don't celebrate with the rest of our family. My birthday is important to me, and is a day that I take for myself. This is also the first birthday I'll be celebrating with my partner.
I made a huge deal of her birthday, giving her a first birthday party and taking a day off work. I really want to support her and keep supporting her, but it feels kinda jerky to do this two days before my birthday. Especially when she knows it's important to me.
Am I an asshole if I tell her I'd prefer another day? There's no significance to the day for her at all, other than she randomly picked it and wants to jump into this full tilt. ###### | YTA; it's a birthday, not birthweek. Why do so many 'adults' feel entitled to long, drawn-out recognition of their birthday? ###### |
My (27M) girlfriend (25 F) the other night mentioned she was thinking of getting a piercing below her lip. I pretty much just said "ok" as I am not into piercings and didn't want to encourage her to get one nor did I want to stop her as it is her choice ultimately.
She asked me what I thought about it and I decided to be honest and I said "personally I think most piercings are trashy." She got upset which didn't surprise me. We had an argument and she kept asking me how piercings are trashy. I said "sticking pieces of metal in your body isn't attractive, it's just gross and in my opinion when I see people with piercings they often are the type you see on Jerry Springer or one of those shows."
We haven't been talking since then, and this whole situation is just pissing me off, if my girlfriend wasn't prepared to hear an answer she didn't like, why even ask? ###### | YTA,
You were N T A until you went for this:
>I said "sticking pieces of metal in your body isn't attractive, it's just gross and in my opinion when I see people with piercings they often are the type you see on Jerry Springer or one of those shows."
That's hella judgemental and goes way beyond stating a preference. ###### |
She takes apart and stitches denim together. Creating jackets and Jean's, cool products. I don't know if I would consider it a business though, considering she only makes only 1 to 2 products. It's hard work I'll give her that, takes about a week to or two to create a clothing product.
She has my gf model some of the clothes. Probably takes an hour at most to model them, since it's limited stock. And just to throw out there, she's also not a professional model. But she's Uses the photos to post on Instagram to sell. They've been doing this for a while now.
I asked her one time if she was getting any money from doing this side gig. Told me it wasn't about the money. Just left it at. Didn't bring it up again. I was surprised though on why she wouldn't take advantage of this opportunity. Saying no to receiving money???? What! This was when I first found out she was doing this for her sister. Popped in my head recently again. So I went straight to the source and asked her sister, via text. Told me "I'm her employer plus we mutually agreed on something regarding that topic". Just left her on"Read". Didn't think she needed a response back.
I got called out for trying to "undermine" lol. I just feel like my gf needs to throw some pride away and take what you deserve. If it wasn't her sister I bet she would want some compensation back.... Am I wrong? Trying to look out for both. What happens if the "business" blows up, will she then want to get paid? So many questions.. ###### | YTA, your sisters relationship with her sister is not impacting you and not your business. You asked and were told to butt out, this was a boundary your girlfriend put up that you had zero respect for. It doesn’t take her long and helps her sister out, maybe that’s enough for her. ###### |
My (16f) sister (22F) graduated college this year, and came back home to live with us in the gap year between college and med school. She doesn't have a car or a license; she got her permit twice but "forgot" to get her license before it expired.
While she's home, my dad told her she has to get a job, at a lab, doctors office, etc. She's been applying and got a 9-5 job in a lab in a big city nearby. The city's about 90 minutes or 2 hours away if she uses public transport. The station is in the next city over, and since she doesn't have a license, she expects her mommy to drive her every morning and bring her back at night. This would require our mom to get up at 6:30 and then drop everything at 4:30 to go pick her up.
My sister sees absolutely no problem with this. It's her "dream job" and so of course her mother will want to support her! I kind of blew up at her and told her she was being a selfish bitch, expecting our mom to cater to her whims. She's gotten a job in this town, for God's sake, but no, she just has to go to the city. If she had her own car I wouldn't even care, but she's delusional if she thinks mom has nothing better to do than drive her around.
My sister yelled at me and accused me of not caring about her dreams or whatever the fuck she came up with, and I told her to get her head out of her ass and stop treating our mom like her chauffeur. AITA? ###### | YTA, your parents are more than capable of setting their own boundaries. If this job is good for your sisters career path then they will probably want to drive her. If you want more attention for yourself just ask them. ###### |
My daughter is 17 and ever since she was 11, she's had an entrepreneurial spirit. She would setup stands, get in trouble at school for sealing things to classmates, etc. It's never really been a problem.
Recently she's been working really hard on some side hustles along with her job. I didn't really understand what she was doing but thought it was just a little extra money on the side.
One day she sat me down and should me her paypal account. The balance read somewhere in the excess of $150,000.
I was absolutely floored by it, I won't get much into it but I interrogated her and made sure it wasn't anything illegal. Other than her having to lie about her age, the money was clean. Then I took all the money and put it into a savings account. I'm going to use some of it to pay for college and the rest goes to me and my wife.
My daughter is upset that I took all the money. But I just feel like I made the responsible choice. She doesn't know what to do with all that money. From now on her mother and I will be closely monitoring her accounts and take all money that comes to. But AITA? ###### | YTA, you're a thief and you just destroyed any trust your daughter had in you. ###### |
So yesterday was my roommate's birthday, and we live in a college dorm together. We spent the whole day hanging out and concluded the night by smoking a joint together with another friend. We all got really high, and she went to go fuck this guy she's seeing. Me and the mutual friend stayed up for a while and talked till we were both exhausted.
The mutual friend left, and I got into bed and started settling down. Then my roommate and her male friend came back into our room to watch a TV show. She knows I'm a super deep sleeper, and I reiterated the point to tell her that they didn't have to whisper, especially since it was her birthday. I wished them goodnight then eventually fell asleep to the sounds of them laughing at what was on TV.
This afternoon when we were talking she told me about her night, slipping in there that she had had sex with him in our room last night and kicked him out before I woke up. I didn't indicate that anything was wrong, because I didn't want to ruin the casual mood we were having. However, I became really uncomfortable. I wasn't awake for it, and had she asked, I probably would have said that was fine. But she didn't, and it sort of feels nonconsensual to me.
I just texted her saying that it made me uncomfortable, and she hasn't responded yet. She's become a really close friend to me this past month, but that sort of made me lose some of my trust. Am I the asshole for reacting this way? ###### | YTA, you said that they could make noise and it didn't wake you up. They did nothing wrong. ###### |
I have 3 kids. My 7 year old son, my 6 year old son and my 7 year old daughter.
We went to visit My mother in law who blatantly prefers boys over girls. When we got to her house she said we had presents and the kids got all excited. She got my oldest son a remote control car, my youngest a 30 dollar lego set, and my daughter a literal TOOTHBRUSH. My daughter was reasonably upset and spent time alone for the evening.
Now I know that my daughter LOVES Legos, compared to my son who plays with them but doesn't like them nearly as much as her. So on our way home, I gave his toy to my daughter due to him having MANY Lego sets. He was unhappy for a few days but is over it.
My husband is on my side, but crazy grandma McGee is going full Karen Krazy. AITA? ###### | YTA, you just punished your son for MIL behavior. Buy daughter a new toy but more importantly tell MIL if she pulls this crap she will not be seeing her grand-kids Then follow up! ###### |
I have a dog that I brought into my marriage. Love him to death, he has always been my right hand man.
Now my wife and I have two amazing little girls, 3 and 6, light of our lives. Recently we found out that our eldest is allergic to dogs. So much so, that she’d have to be drugged daily just to be around the dog. It’s not fair to her and we’ve made the hard choice to rehome, but are doing extreme vetting.
We are very close with our neighbors down the road, another family of four with two older kids. The kids have actually walked our dog while we’re on vacation and the daughter babysits our girls. I told the daughter that we were rehoming our dog the last time she was over and that night her dad called. He said he wanted to take my dog and offered to let me see him whenever.
My wife and I discussed it and we just think it’d be too hard on our girls. They love our dog but now one can’t be around him without a severe reaction (we keep the dog in the finished basement for now) and I feel like it’d be super hard for them to see the dog in the neighborhood but not be able to go near it or touch it. I told my neighbor and he was a bit miffed. He said that I was looking for a good home, they have a good history with dogs, etc. He even offered to pay rehoming fees.
We still haven’t found anyone else willing to take him but I’m still leaning towards no to our neighbors. Am I an ass? ###### | YTA, you had an awesome choice for the dog and didn't take it? Once you've decided to re-home it's about the dogs well being, not your kids. And I'm sure seeing the dog would be fine, it'd probably be better than never seeing it again. ###### |
Hear me out pls!!
My (20M) girlfriend (20F) had started a facebook page about a year ago. She posts her own memes, random texts and art on it. It was initially not a problem and I was proud of her, even supported her by liking, commenting and sharing her posts to my page that was bigger at the time.
Recently her page gained a lot of attention and eventually surpassed my page's following. She started posting a lot more and she has been interacting with her audience 24/7. Since then she has stopped paying attention to me and will always be on her phone, replying to me with one or two words like "haha nice" or "okay". We still go on dates (weekly) that she usually plans, but she will still take up her phone every 1.5h or so.
Last weekend she brought cookies for me & my family and she planned on staying the entire weekend. During this weekend she kept picking up her phone and going to her page. At one point she went to talk to my parents and left her phone in my room and I saw the opportunity. I went to her FB and deleted the page & her profile so she can't recover the page.
She was PISSED when she noticed what i had done. I tried explaining that I was freeing her from social media obsession, but she didn't understand. She took her stuff and went home and hasn't talked to me since then, which is making me think i might have fcked up.
So, reddit....AITA?? ###### | YTA, you freed her of your relationship. ###### |
My friend recently lost 100 pounds, a mile stone she’s been looking forward to for a long time after an extended bout with illness that precluded weight loss.
She’s as excited as I’ve ever seen her about anything and the day she passed the 100 milestone she went out and bought a lot of crop tops and bikinis and started posting lots of #TransformationTuesday photos and was very excited.
The thing is, she’s still not actually thin. She’s still a size 12 or 14, and her skin is very rough and discoloured from the rapid weight gain and subsequent loss. People are really liking her photos more out of pity than excitement for her.
The 100 pounds was an arbitrary place marker. She hadn’t really earned the ability to wear that style of clothing. If I were posting photos in clothes that really didn’t suit me, and I had no idea, I’d want a friend to do the hard thing and tell me. So I let her know these things actually still didn’t look good on her (but that there are plenty of clothes do that do.)
She was really upset and asked what I meant and I said it was awesome she’d lost a lot of weight but until she lost a lot more she should still cover up so there weren’t photos floating around she’d regret later, and she should be proud of her scars her in private, but it’s not something other people necessarily want to see, so she should post pretty pictures of herself.
I didn’t relish in telling her that, but, again, if the tables were turned I would want someone to tell me because it was just getting embarrassing. But our other friends are really mad at me and saying I had no right to comment if she didn’t ask me for my opinion.
I think they were being bad friends by letting her live in that delusion, because eventually she would realize she was dressing thin when she wasn’t thin. But I also hate seeing her not feel good about herself and her big accomplishment now. AITA? ###### | YTA, you don’t have to “earn” a style of clothing. If wearing crop tops makes her feel good and she likes how she looks in them then she gets to wear them. ###### |
So my GF technically has an account with Disney+. Someone ended up creating an account using her email address (it wasn't the account creator's fault, it was a fuck up on Gmail's end). She's never used it because she has no interest, and I didn't either until recently.
Some context from my GF: "About a year ago I started getting a strange series of emails from various companies claiming that I had signed up for services and made purchases under different names from all different places. For example, a man used my email to purchase a jersey from a Phillies game, another woman in Ohio signed up for Chipotle Rewards a few months later with my email, and a few months after THAT I received an email that someone had signed up for Disney+ using my email. After extensive googling and trying to find the source of the problem I haven’t been able to find any explanation, aside from possibly a mistake on Google’s end. I don’t use the accounts and don’t touch them for the most part, but after I logged into Disney+ I double checked and sure enough there’s my email under account information, with almost no other information about the actual account holder aside from a linked credit card and an annual subscription paid in full."
So, onto the moral dilemma. Hamilton comes to Disney+ on July 3rd and I really, really, really want to watch it. My GF doesn't want me to give money to Disney as a corporation and promised to pirate it for me, but I'm impatient and jokingly threatened to get a one-month subscription. Then she mentioned the account and everything I've said before. As a joke, I was like, "go ahead and change the password so it can be our accout now" and after some convincing, she did it.
Now I'm sitting on my ill-gotten Disney+ account and reviewing my misdeeds. AITA? ###### | YTA, you did not pay for it. You should've informed them about the mistake and made your own.
Add: This is why I dont use gmail nor hotmail. ###### |
I just casually happen to be a gay person of color who happens to be with a really white American man. I don't even mean spicy white, I mean... Straight up Nordic. He is blinding white.
I'm biracial and I include sunscreen as part of my every day life. My boyfriend NEVER uses it. And with his skin color, I get anxious when he steps out on a sunny day. I've tried to use spray on sunscreens for convenience, sunscreen in small tubes, all sort of formulations. When we hang out, I will randomly produce a bottle of sunscreen and start to apply it to to his face, arms, etc. At first he was patient with me, but now he gets really annoyed. He asked me to stop. Sometimes I still produce a bottle and try to apply. Now he waves me away as he gets quit annoyed, even upset.
Am I the asshole for overriding his attitude and still apply sunscreen even when he's not in the mood? I just want him to be healthy, cancer free, and happy for the long term! I'm actually conflicted. I am not entirely sure what to do, sorry! ###### | YTA, you can't mother him. The longer you're together, the more appropriate it is to take the "I don't want you do get skin cancer because I want you to live a long life" approach. But it's way out of line to apply it without his consent like he's a two year old. ###### |
So we’ve been staying with my parents for five months. After about four months they said we had to go, but I pointed out that they legally couldn’t make us leave because we were considered tenants under the law. Both of my parents just snapped.
My dad went down and filed the papers but they want us out before the court date. When they realized we weren’t leaving they began banging on the door all hours of the night and verbally abusing us. They scream the worst things imaginable and make sure we can’t sleep. They have been enlisting family members and a couple friends, so they can take a break and there will always be someone to abuse us.
I can’t sleep. There is constant noise. Last night my parents slept and at my uncles house and my aunt and uncle took the night shift, so they are at least getting some rest. I can’t even try to go to the bathroom without someone chasing me down the hall berating me.
I just couldn’t take it. My parents came home this morning and my dad took my breakfast and threw it away. I left and said I’d sleep in the car. I tried to convince my wife but she says she isn’t going to let them win. I begged her to come but then I just left. She called me crying an hour ago, still refusing to leave, but she says they blocked her car in and won’t let her leave to buy groceries. She is really mad at me and says we are supposed to be a team and I’m being selfish. ###### | YTA, you and your wife. They let you stay with them, then when they want you to leave, you pull some legal-ease and refuse to go?
Of course they’re making your stay awful, and if your wife refuses to leave, that’s on her.
Your poor parents. ###### |
It's literally 5 minutes of music and 5 minutes of commercials. I don't understand it, so I asked my roommate why she got a radio when she can just get Spotify. She said, "Because I wanted to." I asked her again because that isn't really a valid answer. She said that again. I asked her once again, to which she says, "I'm the only one listening to it, so it doesn't matter." I told her she was being defensive for no reason, and she went on about how she doesn't owe me a reason for buying things, and that it'd be pointless to explain radio because "nobody ever understands" (is she 14?).
AITA? I feel like the fact that she can't even give me a logical answer just says she knows I have a good point, but you can't ever ask her about her hobbies because she thinks she's being bullied. ###### | YTA, why do you care? You're not "asking about her hobbies," you're berating her choices, accusing her of being "defensive" when she stands up to you, and then coming on Reddit to ask people to validate your poor treatment of your roommate. ###### |
I (19F) got my boyfriend(20M) of 3 years a switch back in January as a gift. We're both university students so money is kinda tight, but I saved up and I was finally able to buy it for him because he'd been talking about it for about a year. It was $600 for the switch, a game and the tax, so it wasn't exactly a small gift but he was so happy so it was worth it. Fast forward eight months and he mentions that he told his friend he would lend it to him for a few days to finish a game that he had started way back while they still lived together at university. I was a little bit upset when he told me after he already told his friend because I'm just... not fond of this idea. It doesn't help that I don't exactly like or trust this specific friend. But I also just don't like the idea of him lending something that I spent months saving up for, but maybe I'm being too overprotective and controlling. Because on the other hand, I understand that I gave it to him as a gift so it's his property and he can do as he wishes with it. Furthermore, it's one of his best friends and he trusts him alot. But when I asked him if he had asked his friend if he would pay to replace it if it was damaged but he says he doesn't need to ask cause that's not gonna happen.
So Reddit, am I the asshole if I ask my boyfriend not to lend the switch I bought to his friend? He proof read this post so it's not biased; we agreed we would let Reddit decide. ###### | YTA, when you buy someone a gift it’s their property, and you can’t tell them what to do with it. ###### |
I (18M) was in a pub in Paris France last weekend, and was having a good conversation with a girl I'd just met.
The bartender came around and said that they'd be closing in 10 minutes, but I didn't want to leave, so I thought to myself that if I ordered two pints for myself, he couldn't kick me out as I had still had drinks. So I order my beers, the bartender says You heard me say we're closing right ? I say yeah and he shrugs.
10 minutes later he comes and asks us to leave. I tell him I still have drinks, and he gives me a plastic cup.
I tell him no way, I'm a paying customer, I want to finish my drinks. He says in broken english "Either you take your beer to take away or I throw it away but in any case you're leaving."
I told him no way I am a customer and I will stay and finish my drink.
He then fucking knocked the glass out of my hand and fucking put his face super close to mine and told me in a super threatening way to leave. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the girl so I did, but I left a very bad review on google. My roomate who is a bartender says I was a dick, but the way I see it he served me and therefore has to wait for me to be ready to leave I am a paying customer. ###### | YTA, what do you think ‘closing time’ means, it most certainly doesn’t mean order two drinks and sip them over the next 5 hours whilst the wait staff want to go home. It means we are closing, finish the hell up and go home / somewhere else. ###### |
I was recently spending time with some old friends from high school. A girl who I didn’t know too well was there. I knew she had gotten pregnant while we were in school and had then gone off to college. We were talking (her kid had not been mentioned), and I asked how old he was now and how often she sees him. As soon as I asked how often she sees him, her tone completely changed. She rolled her eyes and said “bold of you to assume I didn’t keep my child. Maybe you would have given up yours but I love my son and love raising him.” I never assumed she gave him up for adoption or anything. But since she went away for college, I did assume her parents were taking care of him. I shouldn’t have assumed anything but she misunderstood what I asked. I didn’t bother to explain and laughed and just said “okay.” And avoided her the rest of the night. I told some other people who were there and they said I should explain what I meant but I wanted to enjoy my time. Was I an ahole here? ###### | YTA, what a rude ass question with built in implications. ###### |
I'm 18 (turning 19 in November). Someone posted some art in a fandom community I am in late last year and it was great so I made a twitter account to follow the artist. Big-ish account. He's 24 (almost 25) and I quickly developed a crush on him. He's so nice and handsome and humble, replies to every tweet and dm, that kind of person. He had a convo with him but heres the problem: he doesnt talk to minors at all (in dms anyway). He also made this tweet that dating under 21s is weird for him because he's old and his not even being legally able to drink would freak him out (personal preference?). It made me sad but it is what it is.
I dmed him about something (fandom related) in March or so and we started talking. He asked my age and pronouns as he does with everyone and I don't know what possessed me but I told him I'm 22. Well, we did become friends, I kind of flirted, he flirted back, we binged tv shows together and got very close. He asked me out in early June and now we're happily dating. Problem is, I feel like an asshole because I feel like I'm lying to him. I talked to a friend about it and she basically called me an asshole as well and told me to "leave this poor man alone" but he's so good and nice and talented. I know he'll be mad if I tell him the truth but I only did it for my own happiness. Am I an asshole? ###### | YTA, were you planning to keep this up for years potentially?? ###### |
My parents invited My brother (22M) for dinner as we hadn't seen him in a while. I (20F) was weirded out because he brought his roommate to a family dinner. Halfway through the night he drops the 'boyfriend' bomb. See my best friend had asked my brother on a date (just the earlier that day!) and he said yes. She's has terrible insecurity, confidence, body image issue and has bad anxiety so that was a big thing for her. Now I was finding out he was gay and had a boyfriend. I insulted him and called him names (not homophobic slurs) because I couldn't believe he would do that to someone I consider a sister.
He said he felt really put on the spot when she asked and people where around and he didn't want to embarrass her. He said he was going to explain to her tomorrow that he was gay, which is why he was coming out to us now. He'd already told his boyfriend and I made him call her up right then and let her down.
My mom said I was too harsh on him after just coming out and in front of his boyfriend. ###### | YTA, were you even listening to him?
Your shy friend with body issues and anxiety got up enough courage to ask your brother out in a public setting. He said yes to not embarrass her and planned to explain in private. There is NOTHING wrong with that. I have the feeling you're mad he didn't tell her he was gay then, but that may have embarrassed her further, and you would be pissed either way.
So, what are you pissed about now? That he brought his boyfriend to dinner? Look, would you rather hear about him being gay from him, bringing his bf to a nice, family dinner, or after he told your friend? Then you'd be pissed that he couldn't tell the family first.
Like, seriously, your brother tried to do everything right, has shown a lot of courtesy, and you're just being an out right asshole. You owe him an apology. ###### |
While I (37) was an expat in Dubai for my business, I met my current wife (27).
I already had a daughter from a relationship. Her mom is not in the picture. She gave up all custody when the baby was born.
I’m ethnically Middle Eastern but grew up in the US.
My wife however grew up in Dubai. Culturally, Dubai is very hierarchical.
It is the norm for Arabs ( which she is) to be ushered to the front of the line ahead of everybody else. People of higher perceived social ranking are served first at establishments and people not dressed in the latest fashion are glared at.
It is also the norm for people to get the attention of service workers by shouting “ You!”
So as a result of her high end upbringing she generally dislikes and is horrified the way people here interact with service staff.
We have just hired a new housekeeper. My daughter is up my wife’s ass because she doesn’t address her by name and walks away when the housekeeper tries to crack jokes with her.
She’s only here for a couple hours a day and my wife doesn’t like it when people outside the family use the bathrooms.
Yesterday the housekeeper asked if she could use the bathroom. My wife said “ I’d prefer you not.”
My daughter starts saying my wife asks like a slave driver and starts yelling about her classist “ bullshit.”
I ended up sending the housekeeper home for the day. I told my daughter as punishment she could do all the housekeeping and that afterwards she was not allowed to hang out with her friend.
AITA? My daughter was being culturally insensitive and my wife already is dealing with moving from her home. ###### | YTA, together with your wife. She moved out of her country, and she needs to learn to respect people. This isn't about cultural differences but about your wife being rude to those she perceives as lesser. I'm proud of your daughter for speaking up. ###### |
So my GF technically has an account with Disney+. Someone ended up creating an account using her email address (it wasn't the account creator's fault, it was a fuck up on Gmail's end). She's never used it because she has no interest, and I didn't either until recently.
Some context from my GF: "About a year ago I started getting a strange series of emails from various companies claiming that I had signed up for services and made purchases under different names from all different places. For example, a man used my email to purchase a jersey from a Phillies game, another woman in Ohio signed up for Chipotle Rewards a few months later with my email, and a few months after THAT I received an email that someone had signed up for Disney+ using my email. After extensive googling and trying to find the source of the problem I haven’t been able to find any explanation, aside from possibly a mistake on Google’s end. I don’t use the accounts and don’t touch them for the most part, but after I logged into Disney+ I double checked and sure enough there’s my email under account information, with almost no other information about the actual account holder aside from a linked credit card and an annual subscription paid in full."
So, onto the moral dilemma. Hamilton comes to Disney+ on July 3rd and I really, really, really want to watch it. My GF doesn't want me to give money to Disney as a corporation and promised to pirate it for me, but I'm impatient and jokingly threatened to get a one-month subscription. Then she mentioned the account and everything I've said before. As a joke, I was like, "go ahead and change the password so it can be our accout now" and after some convincing, she did it.
Now I'm sitting on my ill-gotten Disney+ account and reviewing my misdeeds. AITA? ###### | YTA, this is simply theft. Your GF too is an AH. ###### |
I married my husband 2 years ago and my relationship with my stepson (12) has never been well. We tried everything but nothing seems to work. His behavior towards me is so terrible, he shouts at me, swears me, and calls me worst “mother” ever.
His 13th birthday is tomorrow and since my daughter (7F) birthday is only 10 days apart we usually celebrate them both in the same day (they are fine with it). I asked my stepson who he has invited and that's when he facepalms me and tells me that he has already answered this question before in the worst tone ever. This is where I lost it and told him that because of his attitude I am going to cancel his birthday tomorrow. At first he didn’t believe me since it’s not the first time I intend to punish him without actually doing it in the end. But this time I was serious, and to prove it to him I called his grandparents and told them his birthday got cancelled. He started crying begging me not to cancel but I told him it’s too late.
I got berated by his grandparents because of this and told me that I don’t have the rights to cancel his birthday. As his mother I am pretty sure I can do what I want though but they weren’t listening to me. They even told me that tomorrow they are coming to his birthday with the gifts even after I told them not to bother because I won’t open the door.
AITA here? ###### | YTA, this is a massive overreaction. You say he didn't believe you at first because you don't usually go through with your punishments? I think you need to learn about how to consistently and proportionately discipline a child. You say the relationship has been terrible but the tone of your post suggests you put the blame on him. It is YOUR job to make the effort to have a good relationship. ###### |
(23m) Just started dating this girl (21) for maybe two months now and she came over to hang yesterday. Her cycles are irregular due to her birth control and her periods can range from a month to several months.
Accidents happen and she bled right through her underwear through her jeans. I gave her a spare of my boxers and some sweatpants that she could wear home. She asked if I would just throw her underwear in the wash with all my other clothes and she would come get them tomorrow when I see her again, I refused.
We got into a big argument on why I should wash them for her. I wasn’t going to have a blood soaked underwear mixed in with my clothes. It was gross and disgusting and she could take it for herself. Eventually she just got mad and threw it in the trash. ###### | Yta, theyre being cleaned? The blood is dry? You dont think if eventually you lived together your clothes would be washed together?
If you cut yourself would you separate those clothes from the rest of the laundry?
If you want to be with a woman, you're going to have to deal with a woman. If periods gross you out be with a man, then there will be no periods. ###### |
My sister is almost 30, still lives at home and doesn't have a real job. She wants to become a successful Etsy "couture home decor artist."
Basically she wants buy Made in China junk, decorate it and sell it at 900% markup. I told her Pier One already beat her to it and they're going out of business. Faced with the reality she was going to have to get a real job, she "reinvented" her "business" as a "social justice home decor art." The junk (picture frames, vases, candles, wine bottles, baskets, Chia pets, pet "fashion," and gnomes) she wants to sell is going to be designed with rainbow flags, images of diversity, etc.
She thinks her "art" will fly off the shelves but has no money to invest. My parents lied and said they're broke so she hit me up. She told me she needed roughly $20,000 to start and needed it quickly. That made me laugh. I told her I'd burn $20,000 than invest in her shitty "art." ###### | YTA, the way the story is told. I agree with your decision to not invest. But why be so harsh? You could have come up with 100 reasons that you can’t spare any cash, or told her in a much kinder way that you don’t think this is a good business venture. The way you did it, you sound like you ranted, and you simply wanted to hurt her.
If you are trying to encourage her to leave home and get a real job, there are other ways to deal with that (and in any event you did not state that this was your intention). ###### |
My girlfriend informed me the other day that she was going on a trip with the people mentioned above. She said she was taking our son with her and didn’t mention inviting me, hence the title “girls weekend.” I said, word for word, in a smart-ass tone “take pictures of my son when he first sees the ocean.” I told her I wanted to keep our son with me at home and I have never kept him more than 8 hours while she’s at work. Covid is part of my concern.
Backstory: I have been a constant source of stress for my girlfriend. A 12 year drug problem of which 6 years I’ve been with her. I’ve just recently quit the drugs this year and have replaced it with smoking weed and when I’m out of weed I drink. We argue when I drink bc she doesn’t like that either and says I’m a “mean drunk.” ###### | YTA, stunning she doesn't trust you to keep her kid when you've been "sober" less then a year and still sound like you smoke and drink a ton. Seriously if you want to ACTUALLY be a fucking parent then stop drinking and smoking altogether cause you haven't proven you can handle it. ###### |
I have a very strained relationship with my husband's family. MIL has a "medical condition" that she doesn't wish to elaborate on, and obviously she doesn't have to, but she throws temper tantrums like an actual child. I only witnessed one but it was very disturbing, she was full on hyperventilating and flailing uncontrollably on the floor. I thought she was going to pass out. Her kids just ignore her and say she's always been like that. FIL just tries to bribe her and then when she stops crying lulls her to sleep like a child. I was totally horrified and never wanted to see something like that again.
We have a three year old son, and MIL has a lot of restrictions because I don't trust her. She likes things all or nothing and pretty much ignores him. She will be nice at family gatherings, but really wants nothing to do with him. FIL doesn't really seem to care about anyone in the family but her, so he just goes along with what she wants. My son has speech issues and has been getting help. He really just started talking comprehensibly and MIL said she doesn't want to be called grandma because it makes her uncomfortable and she'd rather be called by her first name. I know this has nothing to do with age/vanity, and she is pretty much saying she doesn't think of him as her grandchild.
I gave her an ultimatum that she will be called grandma or we (me and my son, not my husband) will go no contact. She just shrugged and FIL immediately got upset and said we'd been cold to her for years over something she can't control. My husband says i'm in the wrong and how can i ask her to respect my boundaries when I'm not respecting her wanting to be called by her first name. ###### | YTA, sorry. She sounds like an awful person, but she has the right to choose the name she wants to be called by, you don’t get to make that choice. ###### |
My roommate has this weird hobby where she listens to FM radio for hours on end. She has several radios, and sets up all these things so that she can pull in as distant a station as possible. Today, she brought home this $200 thing that's the size of my desktop. She was raving about how "good" of a deal it was, even though you can get a radio for $5 these days, not considering that she's paying $200 to sit through commercials and crappy music. I told her that $200 is a little much for a radio, and that it's strange to fork over so much money when she can stream radio for free. She said, "Well, I'm very happy with my purchase, and that's what matters." I told her that she already has like 4 radios and doesn't need another one, and she said, "I'll spend my money however I want." I told her that I'm just giving my opinion, and she said, "Your opinion doesn't matter because you're not using it." I told her that was a little condescending, and she accused me of tone policing and getting off on telling women how to spend their money.
AITA? I can't imagine spending half of my paycheck on something you can do for free with a phone app, and she didn't need to accuse me of sexism when gender had nothing to do with it. ###### | YTA, she didn’t ask for your opinion. After she politely tried to disengage you kept giving your unsolicited opinion. Let people enjoy their hobbies and mind your own business. ###### |
This girl and I (both 20 years old) had a thing during this whole quarantine thing. She sent me photos of herself of her doing different things and videos. Well right now she kind of hates me so were probably not going to be dating or anything again.
She's very paranoid that I'm going to leak her stuff (I have no idea why) and wants me to delete them and for them to be completely off my icloud.
She wants me to send video proof of deleting them off recently deleted on my icloud, that's how paranoid she is. I don't really want too delete them, incase I want to look at them for whatever reason. She sent them too me, I made a promise that I wouldn't leak them and I won't I'm not like that, but I don't want to delete them.
She's calling me a creep and a perv now... when she consented to sending me these things, and begging me to delete. ###### | YTA, please respect her and delete them. Assuming you mean there are nudes etc in there, She’s obviously worried about people looking at them and doing something sexual when she doesn’t want them to, and you’ve essentially confirmed that’s what you are going to do. ###### |
My daughter is a 16F.
She has recently started practicing witchcraft at her father's and has told me about it.
I do not like this AT ALL. It goes against our religion (I am a Devout Catholic). I have told her she isn't allowed to practice it and she then tells me that the BIBLE involves witchcraft??? She also gives me things about Pagan vs. Catholic. I have repeatedly told her I will not allow her to worship the devil and that if she keeps up this contract with Satan, she will be going to Hell.
Recently, she told me the real reason why it helps her, she has Autism and ADHD, and tells me it helps her. I told her I still will not allow her to. She cried and told me I care more about my religion than her. This hurt me a bit. She then told me that if I believe in a "Magic man in the sky" she should be allowed to be pagan. I told her to get out and that I will be scheduling a meeting with the church to talk about this with her.
I forgot to mention that I've already let her have a girlfriend, I don't know what else she wants?
She has stopped talking to me completely, and I dont understand Why? I have had Reddit to monitor my daughter , and I've found this subreddit, after much consideration, I've decided to post, I hope I've done this right. AITA? ###### | YTA, paganism *is* a religion. How would you feel if one of your parents, or anyone for that matter, were to have told you you couldn’t practice Catholicism.
She is absolutely free to practice her faith in anyway she wishes, so long as she isn’t harming others. You say you “don’t know what else she wants” - she wants to practice her religion of choice.
Also, friendly hint, your comment about the girlfriend isn’t helping. It reads as “I’m also a homophobe, but I repress that so I’m such a good mother”. It’s not going to endear you to anyone, rather it just provides another example of how you’ve already let your religion interfere with your daughter’s happiness ###### |
I am a single dad raising three boys. My middle is 14 (Brian) and from the outside, is the perfect kid. He's a skater/surfer, gets all A's and B's, very good to his younger brother and his friends' parents and teachers really like him.
I have always been very close with him. A couple of years ago, he started having this bad attitude and outbursts that I didn't have with my oldest when he hit puberty. The funny part is that he's, physically, a late-bloomer but very much an emotional teenager. I loosened the leash but drew certain clear boundaries.
I was very sadden to learn that he and his friends were busted smoking weed by another parent over Labor Day. It broke my heart. Apparently, it had been an on-going thing. I don't care what your stance is on weed, 14 year old kids should not be smoking it, period. I guess I was shocked because I would never have thought he was smoking weed. He doesn't think it's a big deal and told me to ground him and to get over it.
His friends have all been put on lockdown. I thought of punishing him more harshly by not taking him to Bora Bora next month. I know he has been looking forward to it since I've announced it. This is once in a lifetime trip for all of us. He would stay with my brother. A lot of people think that's overly harsh and others think it's the best way to correct his attitude and behavior. ###### | YTA, Only because I don't think the punishment would achieve anything.
He'd miss the trip. Do you imagine he's going to listen to you more once you're back? Obey the rules? Or do you think a kid that's acting out would be MORE likely to act out now that he knows you can just take away 'once in a lifetime' things from him?
Like, how do you expect this to make him behave better? Do you have more things to hold over his head until he's grown? ###### |
My ex and I have three boys. The middle is 9 and has been dying to go to sleep away camp with his friends (you have to be 9). That shit cost an arm and a leg for three weeks. I paid most of it and two of the weeks came out my custody time.
A few days into camp, he calls me up crying to pick him up. He is home sick and is worried something will happen to our dog or he hates the food or he doesn't want to shower with other kids or he's bored. I told him too bad. I even told the staff not contact my ex if he asks. If he gets pulled out then I do not get a refund and this is the same boy who begged me to send him there. ###### | YTA, of course.
you paid that money for him to be happy. he is not happy. understand?
it was a waste of money, yes. was it his fault? no no no no.
as a parent you should be prepared to have money go down the drain because of your children, and be prepared to suck it up, and make sure at the end of the day they are happy.
this is the sorta thing that traumatizes people, or begins deep seeded metal issues. ###### |
Hello everyone, me and my friends are over this situation now but we still argue over who was the true AH. Please help us!
To start, I am a very unreliable person when it comes to time management and showing up on time. I don’t know why I do it. I would even be prepared early at times but as long as I see that I still have some time left, I’ll stretch it out as much as possible until I’m inevitably late (due to traffic most of the time). I am usually about 15 minutes late to most events but sometimes I’ve been up to an hour late if it’s a group event. I know it’s bad and I have a problem!
That being said, my friends and I had organised to meet up at 5pm. Miraculously, I actually showed up on time but no one else was there. I texted the group chat and didn’t get a reply. After about 30 minutes I am kinda pissed and decided to go home. At about 6:00pm I get a message from my friends who are asking where I was. I told them that I had went home because I had waited for so long and no one was replying. They immediately get angry and explained that they had actually set the group meeting time to 6:00pm because they assumed I would be late as usual. I thought it was a shitty joke and was annoyed that my time was wasted (I know... the irony) but they were even angrier and said that I had ruined the plans for the night.
So Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA, of course. You’re consistently late so your friends told you to meet early so you’d hopefully be on time. It didn’t work, of course, and it’d have been nice had they responded when you text them at 5pm asking where they were. But at the same time, you don’t have a lot of room to be mad about this at all. ###### |
My birthday was last night. I had come from work and my husband told me happy birthday and we ate some takeout. He brings out a gift and gives it to me, and I say thank you but put it aside to open later. At the time I was relaxing and watching something. My husband gets annoyed that I don't open it then, but I tell him it's still going to be in the box in a while, so I'll open it later. I do eventually open it and say thank you to my husband but he's angry at me over it. He says that if someone gives you a gift and tells you to open it you should open it immediately. I think he just gave it to me at the wrong time. At the time I just wanted to watch my thing.
AITA ###### | YTA, obviously. "I just wanted to watch my thing". really? you couldn't stop for five minutes to open the gift he got you? the one that he was clearly excited to give you? ###### |
I think the title makes it sound weirder than it is but here we go. My boyfriend’s brother is working on his masters and in order to support himself, has an OnlyFans where he posts both solo videos/pictures and videos of him with other men. It might be worth noting that his brother is gay. My boyfriend was open about the fact that his brother did this and didn’t seem ashamed by it. Even though I was morbidly curious, I never seeked out his videos.
Fast forward to me meeting his brother and building a bit of a friendship with him. We get to talking about twitter one day and he ends up following me. I end up following him back. His twitter I would say is 3/4 standard tweets and 1/4 teasers for his only fans. This includes snippets of videos, naked pictures, and close up pictures of his regions. When these videos come up on my feed, I admittedly watch them. I’ve never masturbated to them. I just find them interesting. I usually will stop, watch the snippet, and then keep scrolling like normal. I hadn’t thought much of it but when my boyfriend found out that I looked at them at all he freaked out. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It’s just kind of part of following his brother on twitter. But, I told him I would unfollow him if it would make him more comfortable. But, he seems more upset on principle than anything. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal since I’ve never masturbated to it nor do I have any desire to.
AITA for watching porn of his brother when it’s just part of following him on social media? ###### | YTA, nothing sexual with partner's close family and friends is an assumed boundary ###### |
i (46m) have a daughter (19f) who has anxiety. She was fine both socially and mentally before, but around age 12/13 something happened to her. I'm guessing its her starting high school that made her start having it, because she'd skip class constantly and fake being sick all the time. This made her social life crumble and me and her argue all the time.
She currently still lives with us, doesn't have any friends or a job. She mostly spends time on the computer. She gets "panic attacks" from needing to things like make a phone call, or awnser the door. Most of this anxiety seems to come her not wanting to grow up and being scared of the world. I was first symathetic, but its gotten to the point where she's a freeloader who doesn't try to do anything. I don't hate her, but i wish she'd move out so me and my wife could have some time where we don't focus all of our time and attention on her anymore, but on each other.
Yesterday, she went to a job interview and she was understandably nervous. I was too when i got my first job, and i tried to make her know she can do it. I was really happy she decided to try and become independent, and hoped this would to a chain of events making us free from her.
It went great, until she called crying and said she apprently was to scared to continue the interview and ran away when she said to the interviewer she just needed to go to the bathroom. this was the last straw for me. I yelled at her saying its time to grow up and she can't let her fears control her, and she has to get a job or i'm kicking her out of the house. I was tired of letting her rule the household, just because her mind a little fucked up. She got really upset when she came home, and wouldn't talk to me. My wife (who coddles her quite alot) got really mad at me, saying to me that she needs time. AITA? ###### | YTA, not only for your horrendous attitude towards anxiety but for the whole “pill free”, “natural remedies” spiel in the comments. I doubt that’s helping your daughter.
If you don’t want to take medicine yourself that’s on you - you take the consequences - but you suck for projecting that attitude into your daughter.
If you ever break your leg, will you eschew hospitals and treat it “naturally”, seeing as apparently nature’s way is so much better and kinder than that of modern medicine? Or, heavens forbid, if your daughter ever contracted a serious infection (ie sepsis), would you just shrug and go, “well, nature will take care of it!”
How is this any different? Not everyone suits anxiety medication, but for some it’s the difference between functionality and not.
EDIT: so apparently you’ll take pills when something is “serious”. Lol. If you’re going to spout off about “natural remedies”, especially in a mental health context, at least have the courage to implement that principle to its full conclusion. Why would seriousness matter if nature’s way is better? ###### |
My brother just told everybody at dinner he was having a kid, I said “congrats” and kept eating but everyone started crying tears of joy because it’s their first grandchild and I guess my sister is happy to be an aunt but I didn’t care too much and I just let them have their moment
Then he decided to put me in the spot and say “why aren’t you happy?” I said I’m happy and he said that I didn’t seem happy. I mean did he expect me to be super enthusiastic and praise him for having a kid? I said congrats what more does he want
He said that I should be happy for him and I thought that was a really bitchy thing to do so I said I just don’t give a shit he’s having a baby. Now I’m the bad guy? AITA?
#IMPORTANT EDIT
I’m not denying my judgment, the reason I’m replying to these people is because saying I’m childish are rude and I have the right to defend myself. Saying that I don’t support my brother is a lie and I have the right to defend myself, people saying I don’t love my brother boils my blood and I have the right to defend myself. However
There was one comment that said ESH that went something along the lines of “your brother was an ass but he clearly values your opinion, rather than lashing out and saying you don’t care why not say you just don’t feel the need to cry and jump around”
That’s a valid criticism that doesn’t completely ignore what I stated in the post! ###### | YTA, not for your initial reaction, but for saying, "I just don’t give a shit he’s having a baby."
If someone said, "I was getting a promotion," or "I just bought a new house," or "I just won the lottery," the obviously human reaction is to share in their happiness and joy.
When you say you don't give a shit, what you're really saying is that you don't give a shit about your brother's happiness.
Incidentally, when you say one word, "congrats," and then go back to what you're doing, you are making it really clear that you don't give two shits about other people. Next time, just tell them to "fuck off" to start so people understand how you actually feel. The nice thing about doing that is that your family will cut you off, and you won't have to worry about them at all! ###### |
I got engaged recently to the absolute love of my life. Now this relationship was born out of a lot of drama. We met when I was working as an administrative assistant for him, and he was engaged to another woman. There was a lot of back and forth, and no one in the situation was very mature. That's all over and things have been great for the past year.
So I have two sisters, Rose and Diane. At the time this was happening they were both living with our parents, so when I'd come by to see Rose, Diane would overhear a lot of this and she never liked my fiance. She thinks the relationship was inappropriate because he was my boss, and I can see why someone would think that, but I'm going to be completely honest, I've never really had career aspirations. That job was always a temporary means to an end well I looked for a husband. Also she judges him for the cheating, which again I see, but it is none of her business, and she thinks he's too old for me (32 and 24) I've since stopped working and of course Diane doesn't like that either.
Diane has always been outspoken about her political beliefs. That's fine but there is a time and a place, and I don't need to be told how to live my life. Every single time she is around my fiance she has something snarky to say. For example, he was trying to throw Rose into a pool (they're super close) and Diane had to make it an issue of consent, and laughing at a girl screaming is not funny.
I don't need someone in my wedding who doesn't seem to like either of us, and I don't need to listen to this the entire time I am planning, but I know my mom is going to make a big deal out of it. She cares way too much what people think and the truth is I don't want to hurt Diane, but it's out wedding and she doesn't even like him. ###### | YTA, not for the bridesmaid thing, but because your general level of assholery supersedes any one specific situation. Also I doubt your sister wants to be a bridesmaid anyway, so this is probably a non-issue and this post is just one big awfulbrag. ###### |
My wife has always been active on social media - more active than almost anyone else I know - and that has not changed since she got pregnant. If anything, it's worse, and the posts have gotten more frequent.
Once we announced she started taking a weekly photo of her stomach to show her growth, but she posts a tons of other videos and photos of it in addition to the weekly photo. I see them pop up and honestly it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like she's sharing too much, and I don't think it looks good (to me pregnant stomachs look weird). It's also embarrassing for me because all of my family and friends are friends with her too, so they see all of this and I can't help but wonder what they must think to see my wife so exposed.
I have subtly tried to get her to cut back on what she shares and change how she shares it which led to her asking me if didn't like what she was posting. Since she did ask, I admitted everything I posted above but never demanded she stop.
She thinks I am a controlling asshole even though I never demanded she stop or only post things that I felt were appropriate. I feel like I am entitled to an opinion and have a right to be uncomfortable with what she's posting and to share that with her. Beyond that she asked for my opinion, so I don't feel she can describe me as an asshole or controlling for answering her question.
She also didn't like me saying I didn't think a pregnant stomach was something most of the people we know would want to see and was weird looking, but again, I don't feel like having an opinion, even if it's one she doesn't like, makes me an asshole.
Am I wrong and actually the asshole? ###### | YTA, not for having an opinion, but for expressing your “pregnant bellies look weird, you are embarrassing me with your weird, pregnant stomach, and nobody wants to see that” comments to your wife.
Not everyone has the same hangups that you do about pregnant bellies; this is a “you” thing, and by your not-so-subtle comments, you implied that your wife should be embarrassed for the way her pregnant body looks.
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You can ask that your wife not overshare things about you on social media, but from what you describe, she’s sharing things about her and her changing body. You are TA for insinuating that she should feel ashamed or embarrassed by her posts. ###### |
I was sitting in my wife’s office when she started talking about her friend who was going through a lot, I was sitting and listening.
Some context, my wife has had a wild past and I told her I don’t enjoy stories including men or anything like that. I wouldn’t talk to her about my past like that with her.
So then she said “We’d go out all the time. She was basically my wingman…”
And I said “Ok I’m leaving” and got up and left back to my office, and she followed saying she didn’t mean it
I just ignored her and she walked away.
It’s almost like if I was talking about a friend of mine and said
“Yea I feel for the guy, it’s a shame…we’d party all the time, he was my wingman.”
I mean, why’d she have to mention that?
AITA? ###### | YTA, man. I understand not wanting to hear graphic sexual stories involving your wife but hearing the word *wingman* makes you leave..? That’s an *intense* overreaction. You need to realize that your wife’s past doesn’t make her damaged, it makes her who she is. You shouldn’t have married a person whose past makes you so upset. ###### |
So here in Europe, we don't have a culture of tipping. People here unlike America, pay employees a living wage. I work as a pizza delivery courier to have some pocket money and my location has an American customer who's a regular. He is known to tip 5 quids minimum and would sometimes tip 10 pounds on special holidays. At first, when I started it felt weird, getting free money while on the job but later on it got annoying. It feels like he tips because he thinks we're lower class and need his generous gift to survive. Last week, he ordered his weekly meal and when he handed me the tip, I refused and told him this isn't America and that we don't need his charity. He just stared at me like I'm some huge arsehole and when I got back to pick up my second delivery, my manager didn't seem happy. I got scolded and they told me to not come back for two weeks (basically 2 weeks of no work and money). ###### | YTA, just because tipping isn't required in the UK hardly means it's unusual. Plenty of people still tip, telling someone to "buzz off" over a tip is massively over-the-top to someone just being kind. ###### |
Originally it wasn't a big deal, or so I thought, till we went into an argument over it.
I visit this Chinese teahouse about once or twice a month for a dish, in which I pick the ingredients and one of the cooks cooks and mix different spices into a sauce to be added into a soup in front of me.
I always request a specific young man to cook for me because in my opinion he is the best among them, or it may just be that his way of mixing the sauce suit my taste bud the most.
Nothing much changes changes after covid, the only difference is that I need to takeaway instead of dine-in. A few weeks ago I experienced a change of taste in the dish. It wasn't bad, just somehow different and not much to my liking. At once I knew that it wasn't the same person who cooked that dish(due to social distancing rule I had to wait outside and didn't see who cooked my dish).
When I went to the teahouse again yesterday I requested for the same cook and mentioned that they din't get right person to cook my food the previous time.
A young woman came and told me that it was her who cooked my dish the other day, and that she was just as good as the young man. I replied no, I prefer the young man instead and she got visibily angry. Turns out that those 2 cooks are a couple and the young man can no longer cook for me.
I asked why couldn't I request him she told me that we cannot choose who to cook for us from now onwards, and I had been rude and sexist for requesting for her husband all the time.
I had to leave the teahouse empty handed because I didn't really want to eat from anybody else, plus it seems like there was some drama between them that I do not wish to get mixed into, though I am sure going to miss the food there. However, AITA for requesting for a specific person to cook my dish? ###### | YTA, it's not cool to make a drama and feel entitled to organizing the restaurant's staff and the way they work. ###### |
Aita for bringing up the time my girlfriends dad overcooked a steak awhile ago?
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. We are both 20. For one of the first dinners I had at her house with her parents and her younger sisters, her dad grilled steaks. He was making New York strips and frankly, he burnt the hell out of them. I like my steaks pretty rare and this wasn’t even well done. It was charred and pretty nasty. I didn’t eat all of it, but I tried to muscle through it as best I could.
I have to add that I have a good relationship with her parents, and we joke and laugh and always have a good time. So that’s why the situation I’m about to describe kinda confused me.
Last weekend I was eating dinner there and her dad cooked steaks. We were eating and her mom actually brought up how she thought we had steak and grilled veggies the first time I ate dinner there. I started laughing and asked if I could tell a funny story, and asked the dad not to be offended. This was all in a light hearted tone.
I basically told how the first steaks he cooked were burnt and I really wanted to make a good impression so I ate most of it, but it was really hard. Initially Everyone laughed including her dad but then he got very quiet the rest of dinner and was kind of cold to me when I left. Like no handshake or anything.
I asked my girlfriend about it later and she admitted that he was kinda pissed. Referring to me as a smart ass after I left. I’m not sure how to approach this situation, because I’m kinda thinking I should apologize but than I’m thinking that he called me a smart ass so like he can fuck off. It’s also 2 years later and he’s upset because he made a mistake while cooking? It’s not my fault he burnt them.
Aita? ###### | YTA, if you have to ask beforehand for someone not to get offended you usually know that you're going to be offending them. ###### |
This is a throwaway account. I (20F) was at home three months ago when my mom offed herself. She was a vile woman so I honestly didn't care.
She left completely out of her will and left her estate, vehicles, and everything else to my brother. My brother is a homicide detective and already makes good money.
I had been holding on to her note for the past couple months and the note states that she wants us to always stick together. I brought this up to my brother and asked him if I could have the estate and he told me "no, because it's his property".
I told him that we had to stick together and my brother said that "I wasn't gonna leach off of him the same way I leached off our mom". I was pissed so I tore up the note and threw the scraps at him.
He began crying and wailing loudly. I started to feel bad but I just walked away. He was crying the entire time I was walking away. I left when his wife came into the living room.
He told me over the phone that he was no longer gonna talk to me. He said that I was "evil" and "cold-blooded". So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA, I'm pretty sure this is a troll but if you aren't then you're a mega AH. You hate the woman but you want her money? Your brother makes more money than you so he has to give away the assets he inherited? You're entitled and heartless. Your brother was rightfully awarded his mother's assets due to his unwavering love for his mother. You hated her and didn't love her at all, therefore you earned nothing. I'm glad your brother going NC ###### |
I was babysitting 2 kids, 11 and 13 years old and I took them to the petting zoo. The goats were having sex and the kids were confused and asked me what they were doing and I tried to change the subject but they kept pestering me so I said they were having sex.
They asked me what sex was so I told them. I didnt go into detail but I just said Male and female animaks, including humans, do that to create babies, the male does it and it makes the female pregnant.
They kept asking more and more questions, I was shocked at this age they didnt know what sex was, so I told them a bit more and left.
Parents found out and fired me and told me it was not my job to teach them that and were fucking pissed. Everyone else says in in the wrong here ###### | YTA, I would’ve fired you too. Birds and bees and any questions about religion, heaven/hell, death, you should not be explaining to children that aren’t yours. ###### |
Title sounds bad but please hear me out
My daughter (Elly) has been doing this thing for the past weeks where she insults herself and expects me and my wife to correct her. Like she'll say she can't eat the dinner we made because she's fat (she's not fat, not even close) and we'll have to go through this song and dance where we have to say no you're not, you're beautiful etc. Honestly, it's getting really annoying. I've tried talking to her about it and asking if she wants to get therapist but she just asks like I'm crazy and blows me off.
This came to a head yesterday when Elly was telling me how she was excited to see her friends at the beach this weekend. She also did the thing again and went on about how she's also nervous them and her crush seeing her in a swimsuit since she's so "fat and disgusting" (again she's not even close to fat, she's not even overweight). At this point I was done, so I said joking "yeah that's tough, but maybe if you tried eating less you wouldn't have this problem". Elly literally started crying for some reason, and just stormed off.
Later in, she told my wife what happened, and she was pissed at me. She told me I was cruel to our daughter and that I should apologize. I refused and told her (and Elly later) that I was teaching Elly an important lesson, that her sulking like this is very off putting and that her peers are going to find this off putting.
We're still fighting about this, AITA? ###### | YTA, I get that you're annoyed but she's 15, insecure, and looking for reassurance. You're her parent, do better. ###### |
My best friend, Mia, has cystic fibrosis. The average life expectancy for cystic fibrosis is about 37, but Mias doctors don’t think she’ll get to 30. When we were kids and her CF wasn’t something I was hyper aware of, we agreed that we’d be godparents to each others kids.
I recently gave birth to a baby girl, and obviously due to COVID we’ve had no visitors to meet her, but I FaceTimed Mia from the hospital. She started the call with “let me see my goddaughter then” and that’s when I remembered the agreement that we made. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mia, she’s my best friend, but it seems a bit silly to allow her to be god mother when 1) she probably won’t be around by the time something could happen to go wrong for me and 2) her quality of life would in no way enable her to look after a child.
I waited until we were home before I said anything to Mia and when I asked her if she was okay with it she said she was, but I got a text from her mom later that night asking how I can claim to be her best friend when I treat her like that. A few of our friends have also said I’m an asshole for taking something away from Mia that she’s been looking forward to for so long. I called Mia and asked if she was upset and she said that she really was, and that it was another thing she couldn’t do because of her CF. I sympathise with her but I said I wasn’t going to change my mind. She’s really upset with me now, along with our friends and her parents. AITA? ###### | YTA, here's the thing. God parents aren't necessarily who her guardians will be. My god parents were a childless uncle, and the wife of a friend of my father's who we barely interacted with as I grew older. My sister's was someone my dad played cricket with and my 16 year olds aunt. In case something happened to my parents, we went to my mother's parents. With a different aunt and uncle ( from dad's side) as trustee.
The fact is treatment for cystic fibrosis is becoming better and better, if you are really concerned about that, name multiple God parents... ###### |
Hello all! I am using my son's Reddit account after he told me about this group. Please don't "like(?)", as I don't want my son to see this.
So my son got a physical today, and he's in the 27th percentile in terms of weight. I was disappointed, to say the least. I and my wife are fit, why can't he be? He's 14 by the way. He's a picky eater, so he eats whatever he likes. When we went home in the car, and I'm not proud of this, but I berated him. He softly said "okay." and didn't argue. I just did it out of love. Now my wife's asleep, but she said that my son told her and called me an asshole.
AITA? And if I am, how do I make things right? ###### | YTA, good way to destory your sons self estem in himself and any form of trust he had i. You. Prepare for your son to get distant with you. Who would wabt a parent who only cares about thier body? Its not like he is in any ways a unhealthy weight, just not fit like you. I hope he gets out of such a toxic environment where his parents only care about his looks and not him. And yes upvoting so he can see that you hacked his acount without his permission... such a smart plab to loss all his trust. ###### |
So I (17m) live with my mom, dad, and sister (15). My mom often leaves for long trips by herself (I believe to get away from my dad and us) and hasn’t been here all week. My dad is a pretty extreme alcoholic and is almost never sober. He’s typically worst in the evenings, when he’s clearly intoxicated (unlike other times when it can be hard to tell). One of the things he does when he’s intoxicated is he becomes really accommodating and “providing”. He will do things like offer to buy stuff and buy us desserts and whatnot. I’ve noticed my sister asks my dad to buy her things she doesn’t need when he’s intoxicated, and he usually agrees and gives her his credit card. I don’t believe these purchases are things he would be okay with if he were sober. They never exceed a few hundred dollars, but I still have a problem. I feel like my sister is taking advantage of my dad when he’s not sober, my mom is not home, and he isn’t able to say no to her. I’m thinking about saying something, but I don’t know if that would make me an AH. I’d be implying that my dad is incapable of making decisions (he denies he has a drinking problem) and that my sister is manipulative. My sister always feigns ignorance when I ask her about my dad’s drinking, so I’m tired of trying to ask her politely.
TL;DR I feel my sister is taking advantage of my alcoholic father when he isn’t sober by asking him to buy her things. I have tried bringing up the subject, but my sister pretends she has no idea what I’m taking about. WIBTA if I told her I’m disgusted by her behavior? ###### | YTA, focus your anger on the adult in the situation and tell your dad you're disgusted by *his* behaviour. ###### |
The first time my wife had a miscarriage I was completely supportive and spent several days comforting her. The second time I was also there for her 100%. The third time was the night before a major work meeting with prospective investors, so I offered to take her to the ER and make sure she got to her room, but explained I would need to get some sleep and go to work. My wife was already upset, but became furious with me and refused to let me take her to the hospital. She had a friend take her instead, and I ended up missing work anyway because I was so stressed out I couldn't sleep. She's so upset over this she's not sure if our relationship can continue.
I understand the circumstances were terrible either way, but my own fears were confirmed when work gave me a warning about being absent a few days "every other month" and said they needed to see some improvement from me in that area.
Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA, especially since you missed work anyway! She needed you. ###### |
So we are from a country that’s currently dealing with huge disasters, there are legit high percentage of families that can’t find food and shelter because of the recent pandemic, we have electricity shortage, the government is even struggling to deliver water into homes all that with extreme temperature and a joke of a healthcare system this and others is a good recipe of disaster.
Anyways we are from the well off communities and being in a private school and having economically stable and comfortable families we decided to help as much as we could,
We had a Zoom call of about 40 students and few teachers,
So we started it normally and then when we were staring to discuss the problems and how we could help people during these times, there is this girl who out of no where starts lecturing us about BIm and how we should also discuss it and give it time, I tolerated her for few minutes then couldn’t contain myself.
I told her stuff like to shut up and that nobody gives a shit about some trouble the most economically powerful and many kilometers away is dealing with while our people are suffering and are struggling to even survive, and that nobody from the us would give a shut about us, and why she was being a naive shit, it got really heated and teachers had to intervene,
I left the call, and so did around 30-35 students.
The students who were left in the call reached out to Mr saying I extremely embarrassed her in front of 50 people and that she kept speaking to 4 left students and that she was very hurt by it and also she already suffers from anxiety and depression and this made things worse, and I should apologize
And I’m really not sure ###### | YTA, do you seriously believe that only black people in America face racism? BLM is an issue for the whole world! ###### |
My 19yo son is about 6ft and needs to lose about 20 pounds. He was always skinny, but I suspect his eating habits got bad while he was at college and he just wasn't working out. He's been home since March and I've been egging him to go to workout with me. He doesn't want to. We had a 4th of July picture taken of us and he could no longer hide that belly. I tell my son discreetly that he has put on weight and he denies it. He says I am the only one who tells him that.
Tonight, he came home with Taco Bell. I don't think I've had Taco Bell since high school and I would rather have let my kids starve before feeding them that garbage. My younger son who is 9 asked him what he had. He had order three burritos and these churro things. Oh, and a Dr. Pepper. My son replied "no wonder you're so fat." It came out of so left-field that I couldn't help but to laugh. My 9yo is hardly mean. He's just very blunt and observant. ###### | Yta, did you think this wasn't going to make your son insecure? You're also enabling your 9 year old to fat shame others. You need to discipline your kid and apologize. ###### |
This happened yesterday and I’m still getting texts and calls from people calling me the asshole, my daughter isn’t speaking to me and everyone wants me to apologize but I don’t see what I did wrong.
So context. For Independence Day this year my husband and I decided it would be fun to have a costume themed Fourth of July party. (There were people in Uncle Sam outfits, dressed as cowboys, Rosie the riveter and all types of American heroes)
Before the party I had told my daughter (21) that it was a costume party and that she if she wanted to dress up she should pick something non scandalous since there would be kids there and it was a family event. I laid out a dress code, she seemed fine with it and only asked if she’d bring her girlfriend I said yes, assuming that everyone was on the same page.
When they arrive it’s clear that they didn’t follow the dress code.
To put it mildly, daughter was dressed like the Statue of Liberty if the person who designed her dress had a pair of scissors glued to their hand. It was revealing, short and made with thin fabric. Her girlfriend had on some type of bodysuit with the American flag on it which was also short.
I don’t have a problem with people dressing how they want but they blatantly disregarded my instructions that I laid out for a really specific reason. If it were anywhere else I would not have minded but there were parents there who didn’t want their kids to look at lady liberty’s ass.
I pulled them aside and tried to talk through everything like adults but it turned to a screaming match with them accusing me of policing their bodies. I told them to leave.
So now I’m getting crap from friends and relatives telling me I took it too far. But I specifically told them what to expect so AITA? ###### | YTA, but only for throwing a party in the middle of a pandemic ###### |
I, 7M loves treats. They're my favourite thing to eat. When it rains, I stand out in the garden to get wet, then come in demanding my treats for being so brave. When they come down in the morning, I beg them for treats, they think I'm saying good morning but I'm not. I just love treats so much.
My mam and dad calls me a treat slut. I admit, whenever they go in the kitchen, I rub all over their legs and stand in front of my treat cupboard.
AITA? Am I really a treat slut? :(
Here's me guarding my cupboard
http://imgur.com/gallery/SQ4T2Sf ###### | YTA, but only because all cats are AH. Furry, adorable, AHs.
And yes, you deserve all the treats 😸 ###### |
I wasn’t ever exposed to girls/women when I was young. My mother died during childbirth, my father never remarried, and I was an only child. I also went to a boys only school. So, I’ve never experienced a person getting a period for a long time.
Flash forward 30 years. My 12 year old daughter is getting her first period. She was “prepared” for this, but she still had some questions. I just said to her if she feels more comfortable talking to her mom, then she should talk to her. I think that makes sense. My wife had experienced period before. It’s better to talk to a person who has actually experienced it versus a person who has just read about it.
After I told her that, she went to her mom. My wife was pretty mad at me. She said that I shouldn’t’ve sent our daughter to her and that I should’ve taken care of her since I’m her father.
So, AITA?
Edit: The first paragraph might not be entirely relevant. ###### | YTA, but only a tiny bit. She's 12, you've had plenty of time to educate yourself on menstruation issues. While your instinct to have your daughter speak with someone who has experienced menstruation was right, it can come off as you going, "Those are women problems, not going to help you with that." --I completely realize you said nothing of the sort and your intention was good, just explaining how your wife might have perceived it.
A better solution may have been you suggesting you and your daughter talk to her mother together. This shows that you're willing to admit your knowledge has some holes and lacks practical application but you're willing to learn and fill in those holes. Just because you haven't dealt with it much doesn't mean you shouldn't care or be involved with your daughter's health, especially if she's comfortable enough to ask you in the first place. Many parents aren't able to instill that level of trust on their kids and you should absolutely continue to cultivate that. It is a great thing. ###### |
Me and my freinds are planning a boys roadtrip across New Zealand, (we cured the disease). One of my good friends called Bryan, recently came out to us as Trans MTF. I am pretty progressive and accept Bryan as a transgender woman. Because of this we have decided to disinvite from his trip and our group chat because he is a woman, and its a boys night trip kinda thing.
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Apparently Bryan was really hurt by this and has been calling us Transphobic and crying about it. Reddit AITA ###### | YTA, but not irredeemably so. Coming out as trans is really difficult and frightening, and she's probably really worried about losing friends - it's understandable that you wouldn't invite a woman on a boys trip, but from her perspective, getting disinvited AND booted from the group chat looks and feels a lot like your group rejecting her and casting her out.
Reach out to her, apologize, and explain that you assumed she wouldn't want to come on a boys trip, and make sure you invite her on other outings. ###### |