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My girlfriend has a medium sized dog, idk what breed, im not much of a dog person. He seems to really like me a lot though and always comes to me and I don't like it. What pisses me off though is he likes to ran his snout into my ass. Im laying down, standing or bending over and the dog will just ram his snout into my ass. Fucking hell. I told my gf about it and she just thinks its funny.
I told my gf to not bring him oin dates and lock him up when i hang out. She says no and i need to learn to get along with the dog. I told her she needs to get him to get his shit together and stop shoving his nose in my ass. I said her dog is fucking weird and needs help, she got offended that i "insulted" her dog ###### | YTA. Dude, clean your asshole and this wouldn’t be a problem. Also, if you hate dogs so much, don’t date people with dogs? Because your strategy of getting pissed and saying she needs to “lock her dog up” is not going to start working anytime soon. People love their pets, they are family, and no one is gonna pick some stuck up dog hater with an unwashed ass over their own dog. ###### |
My friend (Lets call him Kenny 17m) posted to his instagram his new computer he built and his caption was "I can't believe I actually was able to build a computer by myself" his computer setup was just meh, it looked like any average modern day setup. Everyone in the comments was congratulating him saying stuff like "Bro thats awesome" or "Hats off to you sir" and other stuff like that but it wasn't that good (some people even reposted it to their own stories), he posted his computer again to his story saying "I'm gonna order more stuff for it", I (17m) replied to his story asking for him to stop posting his computer.
He replied back saying "Why what's the matter" I said "Your computer setup isn't even that hard to build and you're acting like it's a godly setup but it's mediocre at best" he then said "Dude I just wanted to post my computer I worked hard on it". I asked him how long it took him to build it and he said 3 hours (I'm not even joking) I told him that I was able to build my computer in a hour at 12 and my setup was way more complicated than his.
He said "You know you could have just liked the pic and moved on right?" and I told him that I refuse to congratulate mediocrity and that I did this because I was annoyed him and his friends kept posting it ti their stories. Later I got a message from another friend (Lets call him Von) asking why I was gatekeeping and I told him I wasn't gatekeeping because it was true his setup was mediocre and shouldn't be praised, he just responded with "Fuckin gatekeepers" and didn't respond to my other texts. I feel like I'm right and that mediocrity shouldn't be praised but AITA? ###### | YTA. Dude was just proud of himself for achieving something he didn’t think he could do. Then you come along and spread negativity on him. Be happy for someone, rather than pulling them down. ###### |
So for whatever reason my 15y/o daughter has taken a real issue with saying “I love you” or hugs, I’ve spoken to her about it but she just kind of laughs it off.
I’ll say goodnight love you and she’ll say something like “Ha! Ok good for you” now I’d take that personal if she didn’t also say it to my husband and her siblings.
She also completely rejects hugs.
I was picking her up from her fathers when he said see you later, love you, her siblings said it back but all she said was “yeah ok”
I don’t get it.
He went in to hug her and she dodged.
I apologised and said she’s just going through an awkward teen phase and told her to hug him goodbye, she got all awkward and some relatives who were at her fathers (stepmother, grandmother, aunt and siblings) laughed at how awkward it was.
She stormed up to her room when we got home and called me a fucking bitch.
My husband thinks maybe I crossed a line and should apologise but I didn’t laugh? All I wanted her to do is hug her dad.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Don't force her to hug people she doesn't want to hug. It's her body. Have an actual conversation with her about why she feels weird about saying "I love you" (which could just be normal teenager stuff) but don't force her to touch or be touched by people when she doesn't want to. It doesn't matter who they are.
Edit: typo ###### |
I (29M) and my gf (30F) moved in due to the pandemic. As a result of Covid, we have inevitably had to start working from home. We both work pretty difficult (sujectively) jobs that require a pretty significant amount of our time during the week + weekend. I would however say that my work is significantly more flexible in terms of when I work, I can work any time of day 24 hours a day. I just try my best to manage my time and squeeze in 40-50 hours a week. This is not to say that I take it easy, rather my job is very mentally draining and I cant focus on it for more than a few hours at a time without feeling exhausted. Her work however is more rigid in its hours and is a pretty constant 8-6 (think calls and meetings) with "breaks".
Issue: The challenge has been that Covid has really ramped up her quantity of work. By her own admission, this has been one of the toughest years (I dont doubt) -- therefore she has to sometimes work 60+ hours a week. We have mostly managed by me taking greater responsibilities around the house and to cook and clean--all of which I have absolutely no problem in and generally enjoy. However, the months on end of doing this have started to ware away at my enthusiam. Ultimately, the other day, after doing the majority of house duties for the day, the straw that broke the camels back was her working past midnight noting that she started work at 7:30/8 am. Its important to state that I have nothing against workaholics but rather, is it fair for me to be annoyed and frustrated. Following this, we got into a fight about the division of work around the house and "fairness". I'm not suggesting that all housework should be 50/50, it shoud be allocated more to the "free" person but considering we both have full-time jobs, I don't know how I can possibly sustain this without feeling like a placemat.
Help me reddit, AITA for requesting that whatever she do, she should finish work by 10:30 pm and help me more around the house. ###### | YTA. Don't expect someone working 60h+ weeks to do 50/50 of the house work. Especially when you're not working nearly as many hours and you have a much more flexible work routine. You're literally getting angry at your gf for her work overloading the fuck out of her. You're being incredibly unreasonable. ###### |
My 8yo is all boy. We were at Target buying some new clothes because he's growing and I let him decide what he wanted. He came back with nothing noticeable pair of girl shorts. The ones that are inches higher than boy shorts. I thought it was a mistake but he picked it out. The shorts were grey and neutral and not pink and frilly. He said it looked comfortable. I told him no, those were girl shorts and to put it back.
I related this story to some people and some said I was wrong. I'm his dad and my son will not wear girl clothes.
And no, he is not anything but a boy. He wasn't intentionally trying to find girl clothes.
Edit: He was disappointed. He didn't care because the colors were neutral. He's very picky about wearing certain clothes. For example he loved cardigans but will not wear a jacket. ###### | YTA. Do you want your son to grow up to be a man? Or a forever boy who is so insecure in his masculinity that the sight of a boy in 'girl shorts' causes a freakout? ###### |
I have a (now) ex-friend who believes i'm transphobic for 'correcting' what they said. In short, they mentioned how they are "Happy they are trans", to which I responded with "Don't you mean that you're happy that you've been able to accept yourself?" because by implication, if they are 'happy' that they have a disorder in relation to gender/ body dysphoria which is how most trans people start feeling about themselves initially, then it sounded like to me they are glorifying a disorder; like someone saying (if lets say we assume they are successful) "I'm happy I am depressed because It made me realise my potential" - The friend who I had been with for a long time now wont talk to me because I couldn't get my point across before they went out and decided to not talk to me. AITA?
I don't intend to be transphobic, ever. I support transgender people and who they want to be but I can't wrap my head around the idea that you can be happy having a disorder when most disorders all have a negative side to them. ###### | YTA. Do you say every rude thought that pops into your head, or do you have the social awareness to keep some stuff to yourself? ###### |
Yesterday, I (26 m) and my partner (22 f) were driving to my parents’ house for lunch. As I was driving down the main road of the village we live in, a little girl (maybe 4ish?) suddenly shot off across the road in front of the car.
I absolutely slammed down on the brakes, the car lurched and squealed, my partner who was speaking choked as the seatbelt tightened around her and it was all very sudden and frightening.
I pounded my fist on the horn at the girl and rolled down the window at the visibly terrified mother who ran out to pull her back. I was really furious and started properly shouting at her, don’t remember exactly what was said but something like “Watch your child you fucking stupid bitch!”
We rolled the window back up and carried on, but my partner was annoyed at me. She said I really shouldn’t have shouted and sworn at the mother and that she was very young (she looked like very early 20s) and must be really stressed rn. I said that she would have been a hell of a lot more stressed if her daughter had been killed because she couldn’t look after her properly.
It blew up into quite an argument with her defending the mum, saying that the horn would have scared her enough and that it was really unnecessary for me to scream at her like that.
I admit that I was slightly out of control with anger, but considering I very nearly killed a child because of her mother’s negligence and that shouting at her was not only justified because of the situation, but useful to startle her into keeping better hold of her daughter in future.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Do you really think that’s an acceptable response? I understand your frustration but to shout and swear at a mother and child is vile ###### |
I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years.
I have two daughters (6 & 4) with an ex and a son with my girlfriend (1)
My girlfriend, Vicki recently got a new phone and she’s attached to it almost 24/7 but she works off it so it’s understandable.
I went on her phone recently to text my ex as we were running late with the children and I noticed it was a picture of my children, not even with their brother in the picture just a picture of them and I’ll admit it’s a really sweet photo, my eldest is so awkward in photos but my girlfriend managed to get an almost natural picture.
I find it weird, if it had their brother in the picture then fine it’d be sweet but it doesn’t.
I asked her to change her background picture and after hours of us arguing because in her eyes I’m being immature she changed the picture to one of us at the hospital the day our son was born.
She’s still upset about it claiming I’m undermining her position in the children’s lives but they have parents and it’s me and their mother.
She’s got hundreds of photos of all the children but we usually print them out and hang them up if they’re nice I just think she crossed a boundary especially as we’re not married, they’re not her children.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Do you not like your girlfriend very much? Sounds like you don't like her. I think it's strange that you would have such an issue with her feeling love for your children. ###### |
I recently broke off a friendship with a girl I'd known since kindergarden because I really think she was faking these illnesses she was claiming to have. She is always on crutches and wearing braces cause she says her joints "dislocate" and she even used a wheelchair sometimes. I think she just likes the attention because people are always asking her what happened and helping her. I have always been at least polite, but now it's just ridiculous.
She says she can't even stand for 5 minutes without passing out and that she gets allergic reactions to stuff like my perfume. (she asked me not to spray it around her, but I know she was being over dramatic when she "had to use an epipen" because i sprayed one little squirt)
She misses so much school and can never do anything with our friend group anymore, so our other friends go to her house, but I just want to go to the mall, is that so wrong???
One day before walking to class she asked me to carry her backpack for her even though she wasn't even using crutches that day so I said no. (I'd usually say no anyway because I know she's fully capable of carrying it herself) And she just said please because her shoulders were "dislocating" a lot that day and I told her to quit her bullshirt because that isn't even possible. I told her that unless she stops faking all of these problems I am so done with our friendship and she just sat their crying asking what she did wrong. I told her that I want a friend who will actually go places with me and be at school all the time for me to talk to and stuff. Then I walked away and I haven't talked to her since.
Our mutual friends are all telling me that I'm an asshole and I should apologize, but I don't really see anything wrong with what I did. AITA??? ###### | YTA. Do you have proof that she is faking her illnesses besides you not understanding that even a small squirt of perfume can send someone into an allergic reaction? ###### |
I'm in a tight spot here.
My son (17) is a bit of a hassle to handle. When he was younger he tried to commit, we had to send him away to a hospital, he's better now. Then when he was 15 he became an atheist and it was hard because we're super religious and even after I tried to convince him , he still stayed to his beliefs. Then he started sneaking out, it stopped. Then the attitude. My husband and him don't get along , they're civil but their constantly having fights because my son doesn't like what my husband likes.
A few weeks ago he had a friend (17M) over and , lets say he wasn't what I liked to be hanging out with my son. But of course I accepted it and let it be since they've been "friends" for 2 years I've allowed him over.
I have a horrible habit of not knocking and walked in on them making out.
Im not homphobic, I don't hate gay people, I think they're still people but I wouldn't exactly associate with them. It was awkward but then my son asked me not to tell anyone, and the "friend" hasn't come over since.
Now it's been horrible keeping this secret from my husband, I feel like I'm lying to him because he usually asks my son when he's going to get a girlfriend and I feel bad knowing something he doesn't.
Yesterday I pulled my son aside and told him he needs to his dad because I can't do this anymore. He said he doesn't want to because he's scared my husband will kick him out, now my husband wouldn't do that! Yes he'd be a little mad but he would never disown my son!
I stupidly said he needed to tell them and it went into this whisper-fight and now he isn't talking to me and spends most of his day in his room. My husband has noticed and I've been so tempted but haven't said anything.
Aita?? I feel horrid keeping this a secret. ###### | YTA. Do not out your child.
Your son is clearly not ready to come out to your husband. Based on your post, I don’t blame him. If you break his trust your relationship with him may never recover. ###### |
My girls are 6 and 4 and they live with their mother, stepfather and 2 brothers that are 2 and a newborn.
I have them every other weekend. I’m married and also have a son. Well my kids came over and they had been gushing over how their stepdad bought them a trampoline and how he would hold their hands and bounce them up high. So I asked what all her and stepdad did together and she said “well at nighttime we all get in mommy and his bed and we watch a movie. Then he makes us a bedtime snack and gives us a glass a milk. When he comes home he plays games with us and plays on the trampoline with us. Then we all go and take care of the chickens together. Then she said sometimes him and her lay in bed and watch cartoons or she plays games on his phone with him but she lays on his back or lays her head in his legs.
I find that inappropriate. I don’t think my ex wife should have had another man around my girls since men can sometimes do unspeakable acts to children. I told my daughters that he loves his children and that he couldn’t love them like a real parent does .
This upset my daughter and my wife overheard and she is furious with me as well asking if I meant that she didn’t love them as much as our son and I said well yeah since you didn’t give birth to them. Now she isn’t speaking to me and my daughters were crying before they left. I just don’t want them to lay in bed with a grown man and think that he loves them like he’s a parent when he could have ulterior motives. AITA? ###### | YTA. Divorced father of two here, one boy, one girl. If I heard that my children were being so well-taken care of by my ex’s partner, I would be ecstatic. Because children deserved to be loved by everyone who is in their life. The fact that you don’t provide any details of the time you spend with them, is indicative that you probably don’t do nearly as much with them as your ex’s SO does. You’re only upset because you’re jealous and feel inadequate because you don’t do fun things with your children. So instead of supporting them and being happy for them, you’re trying to bring them down to your level of misery.
Here’s an idea.... try bringing your kids up instead of down. Try actually spending time and doing things with your kids. And most importantly, stop projecting your immature childish insecurities onto them.
Man up and be a father, then you won’t feel this way. ###### |
Disclaimer: This happened awhile ago but I thought I'd post this for clarification.
My son at the time was 9 years old and has plenty of friends at his school. Among them is an autistic kid who is in a separate special ed class. My son and him met during recess and hung out plenty of times.
The autistic kid and my son have hung out at each other's houses a few times. The parents are nice, wonderful people, but I have to be honest, I am not a fan of the autistic child. He can be nice at times but there's been quite a few incidents where he broke out into screaming fits and throwing things around. It's very difficult controlling an autistic 8 year old kid who is not yours unfortunately. It's made me weary of him and anytime my son and the autistic kid hangout, I try to encourage them to hangout at the autistic kid's house.
My son had a birthday party coming up and invited everyone from his class. He threw around the idea of inviting the autistic kid too but I told him it wasn't a good idea. My wife was sort of on the fence about it, and I explained to my son that it's possible his autistic friend will have a meltdown and ruin the party for the other kids, and as well as potentially embarrassing my wife and I to any adults who might come along too.
My son understood and we proceeded to have the party. A week later, the autistic kid apparently found out about the party and how he wasn't invited. His mother actually contacted my wife and said her was son hurt by that and is refusing to speak to my son. My son was his only friend and I felt terrible for him.
I empathize with him but at the same time, it was our house and our party so I feel like I am not the asshole for saying who is allowed to come or not? ###### | YTA. Did it ever occur to you to invite the kid's parents too? Like, someone who *knows* how to handle an autistic 8-year-old and who can swoop in and remove him from the party if need be? ###### |
My mom doesn't like it and says that it bothers my half-sister when I do this because she feels like I don't care about her. I'm not sure if I really believe this because my half-sister has never said anything to me.
I think it bothers my mom more than her because she feels like we aren't close. She also gives me a hard time because I am the only one of her kids close in age to my half-sister, so I am the only one she ever sees or gets to spend time with.
I don't see any of this as my problem. Nothing I have said is untrue, and I don't think I am the only person in the world to use "half-sister" instead of "sister." It's not fair to get mad at me for simply calling our situation for what it is or to put all this on my because she doesn't have anyone else. She has her own friends. She should spend time with them.
She is not my sister. She is my half-sister. We don't share the same parents, and that matters to me. I don't feel the same way about her that I feel about my brothers, and I don't see that ever changing because we have nothing in common. She is more like a cousin than a sibling.
I told my mom I wouldn't change what I call her, but I am sure she think I am being an asshole. Am I? ###### | YTA. Definitely. Man I hate posts from teenagers. Your complex emotions are so difficult to reason with. This is something that in 20 years you’ll realize didn’t matter at all and you should have just called her your sister and not put so much thought into it.
By always referring to her as your “half-sister” what you’re doing is making sure people know that there’s a divide between the two of you and that she’s not good enough for you to bridge that divide. There are some kids who understand that and would want to do anything they could to make their “half-siblings” feel like they’re wanted and accepted and just as good as a full-sibling. And then there are immature kids who don’t care about anyone’s feelings and think it’s cool to separate themselves from their annoying/embarrassing siblings, airhead moms, and cowardly step-dads. Newsflash: you’re lucky to have a family that loves you and a sister who wants to play with you and be around you. Get over yourself. ###### |
I (31M) was at a friend’s place with my wife (30F). We were a group of people and were talking about salaries.
To provide some context, the salaries in my part of the world have doubled over the past year (before Covid )and are much higher than from when I graduated 8 years ago. We were discussing the increase in salaries and I heard my wife give a range of salaries which was very high. I misunderstood her to be talking about salaries from 8 years ago and piped in saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. She stayed quiet and the conversation moved on to other things. She actually was talking about figures for previous year before jump.
On coming home, she was very upset and said that I discredited her in front of everyone and was rude. I disagree because I didn’t know the context. So AITA ? ###### | YTA. correcting her in public is rude enough but if you absolutely had to (despite being incorrect yourself) there are a lot kinder ways than *she doesn't know what she's talking about.* being condescending to your wife, especially in front of friends, is not cool. ###### |
We've been dating each other for a little over a year now and our relationship has been great with no problems and no complaints. Unfortunately I couldn't see her in person from March to like mid June cos of corona but we've been seeing each other again and going out quite regularly now for the past few weeks. Before this I never cared or had any problems about how she dressed but ever since we got back again she's been dressing in a very "lewd" manner. For example: She was wearing a dress where u could see around [this](https://www.thefashiontamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/sexy-club-dresses.jpg) much of her tits. She's also been wearing short af crop tops and short shorts (not together) quite regularly ever since. Now I don't normally have a problem with crop tops or short shorts but those r short af, like u can literally see half her ass.
When we were at the park yesterday, I asked her how come she's been dressing really weird lately and she just said she wanted to try out new things. Then I said it was better when u dressed properly before, and she went really quiet and was just silent for a few secs before walking away. I asked her what's wrong and she told me to piss off so I didn't bother chasing her.
I went home and saw that I had a couple of messages from her friends on insta and snap telling me I'm a misogynist for telling her how to dress and shit like "This isn't the 1950s anymore". I tried texting her asking her if we could talk about this in person properly but she left me on read.
This morning I eventually apologized to her for what I said yesterday and asked if she would like to come over to talk about this properly or just message me but she left me on read again. Her friends been messaging me shit non stop since yesterday while she hasn't even replied.
Idc about what her friends do or think of me tbh and now that I've thought this through I do think she's overreacting about this whole thing. What do u guys think though, AITA or nah?? ###### | Yta. Controlling and insecure behavior. ###### |
I’m one of 7 kids. There’s 6 of us older adult kids (f23, me f21, m20, m20, f19, f18) and then our little sister who’s 5, who our parents call a happy accident. She obviously wasn’t planned but we all absolutely love her.
As a whole family we don’t get to spend that much time together, all us older kids live away at college and all tend to come home at different times, so when we all came home at the beginning of Covid, we took it as an opportunity to prank our little sister into thinking she’s adopted. We didn’t plan on carrying it out, only pointing out that we’re all blonde and she’s brunette, but ended up becoming a lot more elaborate.
It started with little comments here and there, how she’s so much younger than us, how tiny she is compared to us, how she looks different to us, and I ended up telling her that she was adopted from Romania and needed to learn Romanian in case her biological parents wanted her back. My oldest sister and I even printed off an adoption certificate and made it look as realistic as possible. We got such a laugh out of our little sister genuinely thinking she was adopted, until our mom and dad found out and were absolutely furious.
Our mom told us that our sister has been struggling with being “an only child” and saying she wishes she was more like me and my sisters. Apparently for a 5 year old she’s had quite a lot of identity issues and it was worsened by our prank. My mom found out because my sister asked her where she could learn Romanian and when her family were coming to take her away.
When our mom confronted us we thought it was hilarious so we were laughing as she told us which just pissed her off even more. She’s now saying we’re awful siblings and that we’re not allowed to come back home unless we seriously apologise to our sister. We have apologised but it was only a joke and really wasn’t that deep. It was all my idea so AITA? ###### | YTA. Congratulations, you bullied and tricked a child. You are the pinnacle of intelligence and subterfuge. You even "got her" with a faked adoption certificate IT'S A 5 YEAR OLD A PIECE OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER THAT SAID "UR ADOPTED" WOULD HAVE TRICKED HER.
A combined 100 years of people worked together to ... hurt a child's feelings? Fuck her up a little bit? ... But why? ###### |
I work for this factory, i'm pretty much a foreman and supervisor for my team. It's a factory job, i liked it. My guys respected me even though i was a woman. I got my son (22) a job here as well, mostly as an assistant to the other supervisors, just a little desk job. He likes it enough. He hasn't been able to find a job because of the virus, so i got him a job here.
I'd been here for a couple years. But a few days ago, they informed me that i was being let go, just from my current position. They offered me a lower paying position though. That's not what made me quit, i was gonna try to be a company woman. The person they wanted to bring in to replace me, they literally wanted me to be the one to train them. They want me to train my REPLACEMENT. They wouldn't even tell me why i was being bumped. That was a huge insult.
I was furious and just quit then and there. I told them they could find another stooge. When my son got home, i asked him politely to quit. But he told me no, not because of the money, but there's this girl he likes there. It led into a bit of an argument, i asked him to do it for me. I basically begged him to do so, to call the boss and tell him he's quitting. I told him i didn't want to work for a company that would do this to his mom. But he just asked "What am i supposed to do now? Nobody's hiring" and how he's upset he won't get to see her again.
Was it wrong of me to use my son to help make a statement? ###### | YTA. Compromising his future (financially, but also socially) just so you can make a petty statement? Not even a question ###### |
I just moved into my first apartment after living almost all my life in base housing since my dad was in the Air Force. We always ran our AC full blast with the windows open to get fresh air. I didn’t realize this was because we never had to pay utilities and this wasn’t the norm.
Anyways it’s how I got used to sleeping in the summer time. I like it being really cool but I also like the fresh air. Yes it’s kind of expensive but it’s my place and it’s not that big. It’s also my money so I feel I can do whatever I want with it.
I have a friend who came over to spend the night and I wasn’t aware that she got up and shut all the windows in the middle of the night. I woke up and felt like I was suffocating and opened them all up again. This led to a huge fight and she accused of ruining the environment with all the energy im wasting. I gave all the reasons above and she said I was being such a jerk. She was supposed to hang out all day, instead she left early to keep her road trip going. We haven’t spoken.
Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. Climate change is real. Also your dad is a huge AH, what a waste of taxpayer dollars. ###### |
At the local grocery store and in line at the deli. Several customers standing around waiting their turn. I go to get a ticket and pull number 27. They are now serving number 21. I step back patiently to wait my turn. They call and wait on No 22, and then 23. When they call number 24 no one steps up. Hmmm. Must have got bored and left. As they are getting ready to call number 25 I step up, drop my ticket, number 27, in the bin, and say. "A pound of corned beef please." They presume I am 24 and take my order. My wife says that I should just let them go on to the next number. Wait my turn. I say that if the next number was alert they would have stepped up before me. What do you think? ###### | Yta. Clearly the idea is that you wait for your number to be called. I get that it’s annoying to wait, but it’s annoying for everyone - not just you. ###### |
My fiancé (29M) and I (28F) have been together for five years, engaged for one. About a year into our relationship, we were on a date and he brought up the “celebrity hall pass” question. He picked someone he’ll likely never meet, I picked the lead singer of a locally popular band whose music has been a huge part of my life.
I never expected it to happen but in January, my friend got me backstage pass to the band and I mentioned to the lead singer that he was my celebrity hall pass. I guess he found it charming because he got my number, invited me back to his hotel, and we slept together.
I told my husband first thing when I got home. He didn’t say anything at the time, but did seem pretty upset. Ever since then though, he’s been making snide comments about my “infidelity”. I didn’t think he was that seriously bothered until we had to finally pull the plug on our fall wedding because of COVID. He said he was actually glad we were pushing out the wedding because it can give him time to think if it’s worth marrying an unfaithful woman.
He admits that he remembers this conversation and he was the one who brought it up. But he says that because it was so early in our relationship, the rules changed when we got engaged and I should’ve asked him first. It seems clear he would’ve said no if I asked. AITA??? ###### | YTA. Celebrity hall passes are a joke. No one actually thinks they are for real. Except you, apparently. ###### |
I(14F) was bored today, so I decided to pull this prank on my brother(16M).
I mixed some ghost pepper paste in his toothpaste. The prank worked well, initially he thought something was wrong with his toothpaste but then his mouth started burning hard and he ran for the milk. I though it was pretty funny.
I thought he would laugh it off too but he got a little heated. I said I was sorry and was just trying to have some during quarantine. He even told our parents about it, who also laughed at it but he is still mad.
I was all “ok wtf no I apologized it was literally nothing”. Nope wouldn’t budge. He didn't even play board games with me this evening.
AITA here? ###### | YTA. Causing someone pain is not funny. ###### |
A year ago my GF moved to my country and we met soon after. We have been together for almost a year. Her dad suddenly passed away about a month ago and she flew home for a week to attend the funeral. Because she hasn't lived here long she does not have a strong support system here besides me, all her close friends/family live very far away with a big time difference. She has some friends here but especially due to the pandemic they are not close and can't really offer any support for her. She has communicated to me that I am the only person here she can rely on.
When she returned we spent most of 3 weeks together. At the end of those 3 weeks I decided to go on vacation (it was not planned before her dad passed) to visit friends which meant we were not together for 12 nights. I've been really busy with my friends and so I haven't responded to her texts/calls as quickly as she would like and haven't always had the time for phone calls, or am around other people when we call.
I've noticed when calling her lately she seems distant and sad, and when I ask whats wrong she said she feels like I abandoned her and she feels very alone. So now I am wondering if AITA for going on the trip? ###### | YTA. C'mon man, a 12 night vacation when your girlfriend is grieving a parent and has nobody else to lean on? And you can't even be bothered to set aside time to talk to her on the phone? You shouldn't have had to ask. You might not be ready for a serious relationship and that's quickly becoming apparent to your girlfriend. ###### |
I got married very young, just out of high school, so I might not have had the most mature responses to my MIL issues. This all happened about five years ago. When we got married we moved eight hours away so if she visited she stayed overnight.
MIL seemed miserable whenever she was with us. I didn’t cook, we didn’t have A.C., she couldn’t sleep because the house was hot. Also I used to be very religious and had some house rules she didn’t like. I corrected her when she said oh my god and she was pissed the rest of the night.
Having them really gave me anxiety. I couldn’t deal with having people in my space constantly. I asked if they could stay in a hotel (they could definitely afford it) and MIL texted back that she is tired of having this fake relationship. We clearly don’t like her very much but she doesn’t care and she won’t be visiting anymore.
My husband wanted to reach out to her and recently when we were back in our hometown visiting family we met up at a park. She talked to us and her husband was at the playground with a little girl. I assumed they were babysitting but she said at the end that my husband should meet his little sister. She was technically young enough but we were still shocked.
Now my husband says he resents me for not even knowing his mom had a kid. He says I should have sucked it up and that I drove his family away. ###### | YTA. By your own account, she did nothing wrong. You were a terrible host and made her feel unwelcome and judged. "House rules"? You "corrected" her? You didn't cook--did your husband? Did you two feed her at all? Do you know what a guest is?
Look, I understand anxiety. I understand having someone in your home can be awkward/painful. But your issues are your issues and your responsibility. You don't get to impose them on innocent people. If you couldn't handle it, you could have taken a step back and let your husband take on primary host role.
Your husband is an AH too for not standing up for her. Yes, spouses should usually be a unit when it comes to in-law conflicts, but in this case you were wrong and he should have had her back, not yours. He bears some responsibility for the breakdown in his relationship with her.
You were young and we all have our awful moments when we're young. But--unless there's a big chunk of this story missing--you never apologized. You never tried to repair things. That's really why you're the AH now. ###### |
My husband was not raised by his mother. I don't know many details because she said she doesn't have to justify it to me, but i think she wanted an abortion and was talked out of it. She is very successful in a niche industry and spent his childhood traveling, focusing on her career, and partying. For some reason he has forgiven her, but she doesn't seem very sorry and she still seems to think she was the victim in all of that.
I am currently pregnant and my husband says she has changed and deserves a relationship with her grandchild. I don't think she has ever taken care of a baby before. I bought a baby doll and wanted to test her, but she threw the doll on the floor. MIL started crying and saying we'll never get a penny from her and now my husband is angry and says i am holding emotional issues against her and that she doesn't have to atone the rest of her life. ###### | YTA. Buying a baby doll to prove her preparation was completely patronizing. If you're not comfortable having her watch the baby or being alone with the baby, then you and your husband should get on the same page and just say as much.
Ultimately, your husband is the one who decides if he forgives his mother. He needs you on his team, not working against him. ###### |
Before I start this, I love my daughter. I'm not one of those parents who values their partner's opinions/feelings over their child's.
Anyway, I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now and at the start of this year we had decided to move in together. We were all going to move into a new house (we being me and my daughter, my girlfriend and her son). Unfortunately we haven't been able to do that and my girlfriend had to leave her house due to some issues. So she moved into the house I have now until we start looking for houses.
Her son is 17 and is pretty tall (not sure how tall exactly). My daughter, 16, told them when they moved in that she will do anything to make them feel welcome.
The first few nights were okay but my girlfriend's son was having to sleep on the sofa since there's no other place for him to sleep. He didn't fit on it and there's no way he would've been able to get much sleep. I felt bad and said he could have my daughter's room and she can sleep on the sofa since she's small.
My daughter was mad at this and saying she finds it creepy he's now in her room even though before she was so welcoming to them both and now she's acting the complete opposite. This isn't going to be forever and I'm having a hard time knowing what to do for best. I'm trying to make everyone happy and I'm not sure if any decision I make is going to make me not an asshole. ###### | YTA. Buy him an air mattress. Don't kick your daughter out of her room. Jfc. Better yet, give him your room. ###### |
My older sister adopted a child from Russia about 5 years ago now, when she was a baby. Her daughter is now 5 and in school. I love my niece, but her development isn’t where it should be for a 5 year old, which causes lots of discussions in our family as to whether she should be assessed or anything.
The night before last, my sister and her daughter came round to our family home. My sister is a key worker so her daughter has still been going to school. My sister started telling us that her teacher is concerned that she’s dyslexic as she’s really struggling to grasp words and phonetics and stuff. I myself have a dyslexic child, and I don’t feel as though her daughter is, so I said “she’s probably not dyslexic, probably just the crack baby component of it all” and the room went deadly silent. I didn’t think what I said was too uncalled for considering my sister made it family news that her daughters biological mom had a drug problem.
After we’d finished dinner my sister pulled me aside and said if I ever spoke like that about her daughter again she’d cut me off which I think is a bit dramatic. Her daughter didn’t hear what I said and it’s always been family knowledge. My mom and dad have also said I’m an asshole for what I said and that I need to be more considerate of my sisters feelings. AITA? ###### | YTA. But you already know that. ###### |
i(F29) told my (F27) friend/bridemaid she is no longer invited to my wedding.
i had a rule after choosing my bridemaids and that was i will choose everything from their dress to their make up and they seemed on board and to be honest it is my right as the BRIDE because it is MY wedding.
a friend reached out to me privately and told me she's not comfortable with changing her hairstyle because it is not easy to style African-American hair and she liked her dreads. now this is where it all started i told her that i would be willing to pay no matter the price for her hair i have no ill feelings towards her and i don't mind her hair but it would look extremely awkward next to the other bridesmaids and would stand out in pictures. again this is MY wedding and its supposed to be about ME. now if she was just a guest i wouldn't mind but she's a bridemaid which means she would be standing next to me in pictures and sitting next to me. she told me it is not about the price and she doesn't want to take them out and that heat can damage her hair i told her i respect her decision but she is no longer invited to my wedding UNLESS she changes her hairstyle (i'm honestly willing to re-invite her but only as a guest)
my friends opinions are divided some think i have the right to request that because it is my wedding and others think that telling my bridesmaids to wear certain hairstyles is too controlling. i'm really stressed about my wedding and i don't want to ruin it before it even happens.
AITA FOR TELLING MY FRIEND TO CHANGE HER HAIR? ###### | yta. bridezilla as fuck. “it’s all about ME ME ME ME ME” like girl shut up ###### |
I am planning to go away this weekend to the mountains with my girlfriend. My wife and I have already agreed to end our marriage, but we have not told our daughter yet.
My wife knows I am seeing someone and about the trip. She doesn't agree with what I am doing and feels neither of us should date until we're officially separated at the least, but that's not really relevant to my question I guess.
The issue here is that my wife feels I am disrespecting her and our daughter by "stepping out" before we've had a chance to tell our daughter we're divorcing. She thinks the least I could do is not go on trips with my girlfriend until our family has had a chance to come to terms with the divorce and that by not waiting I am being selfish and putting my wants above the well being of our daughter, which makes me an asshole.
My wife thinks it is unfair and disrespectful to our daughter because she should have time to process this before she has to deal with a new woman being in her dad's life. I don't see this as an issue because I have no plans to bring my girlfriend into my life any time soon, but my wife worries about our daughter finding out somehow and then spiraling because of the shock of a divorce and new relationship.
I don't think everything my wife has said is unreasonable, but life goes on and can't be stopped because the timing is far from idea. There's no guarantee how our daughter will react. She may never be okay with me seeing someone else or going away with them, so postponing the trip doesn't make any sense to me. I also give less weight to m wife's views because she's been the one wanting to delay telling our daughter, so it isn't fair to then hold my life hostage until she's ready.
This trip has nothing to do with her or our daughter, and it has no affect on either of them. Why would I be the asshole for going away for the weekend when our marriage is over and as far as I am concerned it's really none of their business anyway.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Boy is it easy to see why you're getting divorced. ###### |
IM27) have been with my fiancée(F29) for about 5 years now, and I proposed in January. Now that we’re engaged I started mulling over the thought of me coming out to her. I’ve know I was bi since I was 14 and kept it secret from most people, as most people know there are certain stigmas around bisexual men that I didn’t want to be associated with. In my experience women that I’ve dated have not been very happy after hearing their partner has been intimate with another man. In the past I have came out to a few girlfriends who promptly break up me thinking that I’m just gay but in denial.
I’ve asked around my close friend group and I got mixed answers. Some think it would be better for me to not tell her, and a few think that if I’m going to marry her I need to be upfront with her about my sexuality. Specifically one of my friends, L’Darius, told me that I was lying to her by keeping it a secret. This accusation got our group in a pretty intense argument on if I was being an asshole by not telling my fiancée. One then suggested this sub, and now here we are.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Bi/pansexual person here— you’re hiding a major part of your identity from the person you’re spending your life with. This isn’t fair to either of you, and she deserves to know. If she broke up with you because of it, then you never should have been with her in the first place. This should be something your partners should know about from the very beginning, not something you drop months or years down the road. ###### |
My daughter (33f) and I (51f) have a pretty strained relationship. We were out of touch for a number of years but have recently tried to start over fresh. She left home when she was at 17 to join the army. I was going through a separation, and then divorce, from her father. Before leaving, she was very unruly and hard to handle. So her father and I decided to sign her up for the army since she was underage. I still had a 16-year-old son at home to raise as well. I told her that, due to her behavior, signing her up for the military was all felt I could do. I also mentioned to her that her behavior was the cause of my marriage falling apart. Her father was having an affair and didn't want her around. After her time in the army, our contact was sparse.
She has come back into my life with children and a husband of her own. I see her making a lot of the mistakes I made my children with her own. I think it is important that I remain in her life to help her make better choices. She has been resistant but overall it is OK.
One big sticking point is that she wants to be called by her first name. Growing up, we called her her middle name. She began going by her first name in the military and now goes by it all the time. To me she isn't her first name, she is her middle name, and I have having a hard time adjusting. I don't think it is a big deal if I call her the middle name out of habit. ###### | YTA. Because you told her daughter SHE WAS THE REASON FOR YOUR DIVORCE.
She was not by the way, only you and your husband are responsible for your divorce.
Also based on how you handled your daughter you are one of the last people on earth who should be giving any sort of parenting advice besides "make sure you use a carseat"
You should call her her first as she requested, you abandoned her, you no longer get a say. You should be over the moon grateful she wants anything to do with you.
I hope she reconsiders and permanently cuts you out of her life. ###### |
Well yeah...so I have a pug who’s turning 12 next week. About a month ago I asked one of my coworkers who has a side business baking custom artistic cakes if she could make one for “my baby.” By which I actually meant my dog who I affectionately refer to as my baby. I thought she knew this.
It doesn’t help that my dog has a very human name. So when I commissioned the cake I guess she fully thought that this was for a human child. Anyways this past weekend we were texting about cake flavors. I asked her if we could make it low fat/low sugar. She asked if my kid is diabetic and I just said oh no I just don’t think dogs should eat a full-fat cake.
She didn’t reply for a while then called me and was like what dog? I told her it’s for my dog’s birthday party and she said forget it I’m not baking for a dog. I told her I already prepaid and it’s now too late for me to commission a new cake so I’d appreciate it if she just made it since it’s her job.
Long story short, we ended up arguing and I threatened to post bad reviews on her cake business’s site if she cancels on me last minute. It’s not like I’m asking her to come up with a brand new dog-specific recipe, just cut down on sugar and dairy so it’s better for my elderly dog. She takes this as a huge insult apparently despite the fact that I’m paying the full price. AITA? ###### | YTA. Baking is a science that can be undermined by making changes to the recipe. You paid for a cake and then asked her to learn how to make dog food. Most cake ingredients aren’t appropriate for dogs to eat, so instead of making something with professional skill, you are asking her to put her rep on the line to make something she’s never made and doesn’t want to learn how to make. ###### |
Fourteen years ago my daughter, then 19, gave birth to a little girl who she called; **Dorothea Pearl** I didn’t like the name but she named her after my mother.
I will admit I wasn’t a perfect mother and my daughter rebelled, her father left us when she was 10 and I worked full time so she resented that and acted out and at the time I didn’t see it as her trying to get my attention.
We weren’t close, I wasn’t invited to see the baby when she was born and didn’t see the baby at all until I was told that my daughter had passed away.
When I got the baby in my custody, I didn’t instantly think to rename her (she was 3 then) but eventually the name situation got me down and my husband and I renamed her Elena Rose (pronounced El-ay-na)
She goes by that although my husband loves calling her Pea (for Pearl) sometimes, she doesn’t get the meaning of the nickname.
My brother to this day insists I’m an asshole for changing her name, I don’t personally believe I am but my brother was always close to my daughter (his granddaughter was named in memory of my daughter)
AITA?
Edit; typo! ###### | YTA. At three years old, the child has already learned her name. It feels like your are dishonoring your daughter's memory by erasing the name she chose for her child.
This little girl went through a huge amount of upheaval and change that she's unable to fully understand. You went ahead and likely made this scary time even more confusing for her by changing something she probably inherently understood to be unchangeable.
I might feel differently if it was some outlandish name that would get the child made fun of, but it's a perfectly nice name and you shouldn't have changed it just because YOU didn't like it. ###### |
My roommate has this weird hobby where she listens to FM radio for hours on end. She has several radios, and sets up all these things so that she can pull in as distant a station as possible. Today, she brought home this $200 thing that's the size of my desktop. She was raving about how "good" of a deal it was, even though you can get a radio for $5 these days, not considering that she's paying $200 to sit through commercials and crappy music. I told her that $200 is a little much for a radio, and that it's strange to fork over so much money when she can stream radio for free. She said, "Well, I'm very happy with my purchase, and that's what matters." I told her that she already has like 4 radios and doesn't need another one, and she said, "I'll spend my money however I want." I told her that I'm just giving my opinion, and she said, "Your opinion doesn't matter because you're not using it." I told her that was a little condescending, and she accused me of tone policing and getting off on telling women how to spend their money.
AITA? I can't imagine spending half of my paycheck on something you can do for free with a phone app, and she didn't need to accuse me of sexism when gender had nothing to do with it. ###### | YTA. As long as she's paying her share of the bills, whatever she spends her money on is not your concern. You're a real AH. Mind your own business. ###### |
I’m really into this game, Europa Universalis 4. Basically you play as a country. My wife also recently got into it.
When I play against someone, I’m obviously going to destroy them. Absolutely.
That’s what I did. I absolutely wrecked my wife’s Empire, the Ottomans as Austria. Through a couple wars, I eventually made her my vassal and have a single province. So, basically she can’t do anything, but she’s still alive. She called me an asshole for slowly killing her, instead of a quick and painless death.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. As funny as this is, it fuckin sucks to play against someone who's good at the game when you're brand new. Teach her first. Play at her pace. When she gets better you play harder. Don't be a dick. Especially to your wife. ###### |
We are both 21 and in college. We’ve been together for like a year or so. Anywayyyy, she works part time at a restaurant near campus which I went to.
So my bill was $23.70 which I rounded to $25.00 with a $1.30 tip.
We were hanging out later that night, and she asked me why I tipped so little.
I kinda explained that since she was my girlfriend, and I already have her a lot of free stuff (a lot of free wine together) that it wasn’t really necessary to tip higher.
Now she’s really annoyed with me and said that I should still have tipped better. Her service was nothing outstanding imo, and while the food was pretty good, she didn’t make it - the chef did.
Idk who’s wrong here? ###### | YTA. As a former waitress I can tell you when my tips were low management was not happy with me (siince they have to make sure my pay is equal to minimum wage). They would ask me why this table felt it necessary to tip below 15%. No matter what I told them it was always my fault and I should have offered better service. Really you couldn't spare an extra dollar to at least give her 10%? ###### |
I (20f) am currently 31 weeks pregnant with twin girls. I’m absolutely terrified as I’m pretty much doing it completely alone. their father is extremely emotionally abusive and has told me multiple times he wants nothing to do with the babies, nor do his family, they’ve even accused me of cheating. we never had unprotected sex and i was on the pill so I have no idea how this happened. im excited but terrified. when I first discovered I was pregnant I was considering adoption, but when I found out it was twins I just couldn’t, I couldn’t risk them getting split up
in september im going into my third year of my history degree, and i know at the end of it when i have a job ill be very financially stable, but at the minute im not. i have a part time job but it’s in no way enough to support my babies. i have savings from previous jobs that will keep me going for a while, and my parents are letting me live with them, but i asked my parents if they’d help me and they flat out refused.
i know that these babies are my responsibility and i will do everything i physically can to provide for them, but i won’t be able to do that unless i get help. my parents are calling me ungrateful and my friends have said it’s unfair of me to expect my parents to give me anything. aita? ###### | YTA. Apply for the assistance you need. Some cities even offer childcare vouchers so that you can get daycare paid for while you work or go to school. Your parents aren't responsible for the babies or for you.
Best wishes. ###### |
I (43M) get a call yesterday from my wife (44F) that my daughter (14) has been hospitalized for anorexia. She fainted while hiking with her boyfriend.
My wife says that our daughter wanted to talk to me, so she hands over the phone to our daughter and we talk for a bit.
My daughter asks that I come to the hospital, but I happen to be on business trip, and was scheduled to be in that city until August.
The associate (23F) that accompanied me from my office is relatively new to the firm, and I feel like I need to be there should questions come up on her end.
So I tell my daughter that I had work stuff I couldn’t miss, and that she needed to focus solely on herself.
She starts bawling and that sneaking feeling comes up once again that a lot of the destructive things she does is a ploy to get attention.
My wife accuses me of wanting to spend time with the new office hires, and for being part of our daughter’s problem.
Yet from where I’m sitting, my wife is the one who has been losing significant amounts of weight in the last couple of years to the point that she’s pale. Yet I keep my mouth shut about that while she continues yelling at me. I finally have enough and hang up before I say something I’ll regret.
AITA for not cutting my work trip short? I feel like if I did, I wouldn’t be much help in my daughter’s problem and if she is doing this for attention, it will only encourage her in the future. ###### | YTA. Anorexia kills people and your daughter is starving herself. Your insinuation that you need to deprive your daughter of attention in a critical moment in her life to teach her some sort of lesson is awful and wrong. And the idea that some 23 year old associate at your firm needs you more than your 14 year old daughter is horrible. Your daughter needs serious help, by the sounds of it you and your wife do too. ###### |
My (43F) daughter (17F) has a friend I’ll call Annie. They went to high school together, both graduated just over a year ago now (my daughter skipped a grade so graduated early). They weren’t really close during actual school, but became pretty close around prom/graduation time. Last August Annie helped my daughter get a job at the cafe she worked at and they became best friends pretty quickly and started spending most of their time together, both at work and outside of it.
Things seemed fine with them until January, when my daughter quit the cafe job and went back to her old one that she had before. She said the cafe was too stressful, that the management was terrible, etc. This was all fine.
Then COVID happened, they didn’t see each other for a few months because of lockdown, and finally at the end of May things basically opened back up where we live and it has been relatively normal since, so my daughter and Annie started hanging out again.
They used to seem totally fine, but lately my daughter has just seemed very stressed out by Annie’s behaviour. I’m not entirely sure what is going on with them, but she has been complaining about Annie getting mad at her for not wanting to go to parties, calling her for rides at 4am, leaving message after message on her phone when she doesn’t pick up, etc. My daughter seems genuinely exhausted by all of that/whatever else is happening and I got kind of fed up listening to her complaining about it so I told her that for both of our sakes she wasn’t allowed to see Annie anymore. I said that if I caught them together she’d be in trouble, made her block her phone number, etc.
My daughter got really mad at me and said that she could deal with it herself but she clearly hasn’t done that (at least not effectively) and I don’t know why she is making such a big deal over not being allowed to see someone that I don’t think she even really likes that much.
AITA here? ###### | YTA. And naive. Your daughter is upset because you are trying to control who she sees and speaks to.
Your naive to think you can actually stop her from seeing / speaking to this person. Unless you are physically with her 24 hours a day she will do what she wants. Numbers are un blocked as easily as they are blocked.
Your daughter is 17. The real work of parenting is pretty much done at this point. You either taught her to make good choices or you didn’t. ###### |
My stepdaughter and I don’t get on too well. She’s 18, and I’m 27, so she massively dislikes that there’s an age gap between her father and I, he’s 35. My boyfriend and her mother were together until about 3 years ago, when her mom left and literally just never came home. She’s heard from her about 5 times in the past three years. I’ve been living here about 3 months or so.
She’s a good kid, but her father would literally let her get away with anything. She sits in her messy room on the phone to her boyfriend all day, does absolutely no work for college, has never had a job, and I feel as though my boyfriend massively babies her just because he feels bad her mom left. It is sad, but it’s happened now. Ive tried telling my boyfriend numerous times that he needs to be stricter with her and he says to let him deal with it because he’s her dad.
My boyfriend has been on a business trip the past couple of days so it’s just been his daughter and I in the house. I don’t think she’s come out of her bedroom once, and when she does it’s to ask me to make her food. Last night I made her food and took it up to her room to see it was an absolute mess. I told her to tidy it for her just to start an argument with me about how I wasn’t her mom. Impulsively I just shouted “Jesus Christ I can see why your mom left now” She told me to get out of her room and I heard her start crying.
My boyfriend has always told me she struggles with her mom leaving because it was so sudden, but she treats me like a stranger in my own home for no reason other than the fact I’m with her father. My boyfriend has said it was a massive asshole thing to say considering I know how much she’s struggled. AITA? ###### | YTA. And I would not be suprised to hear an update of your bf kicking you out for speaking to his child that way. ###### |
This girl and I (both 20 years old) had a thing during this whole quarantine thing. She sent me photos of herself of her doing different things and videos. Well right now she kind of hates me so were probably not going to be dating or anything again.
She's very paranoid that I'm going to leak her stuff (I have no idea why) and wants me to delete them and for them to be completely off my icloud.
She wants me to send video proof of deleting them off recently deleted on my icloud, that's how paranoid she is. I don't really want too delete them, incase I want to look at them for whatever reason. She sent them too me, I made a promise that I wouldn't leak them and I won't I'm not like that, but I don't want to delete them.
She's calling me a creep and a perv now... when she consented to sending me these things, and begging me to delete. ###### | yta. and i mean, how could you be comfortable getting off to pictures that you know she doesn’t want you to have anymore? that kinda does make you a creep. ###### |
My 19yo son is about 6ft and needs to lose about 20 pounds. He was always skinny, but I suspect his eating habits got bad while he was at college and he just wasn't working out. He's been home since March and I've been egging him to go to workout with me. He doesn't want to. We had a 4th of July picture taken of us and he could no longer hide that belly. I tell my son discreetly that he has put on weight and he denies it. He says I am the only one who tells him that.
Tonight, he came home with Taco Bell. I don't think I've had Taco Bell since high school and I would rather have let my kids starve before feeding them that garbage. My younger son who is 9 asked him what he had. He had order three burritos and these churro things. Oh, and a Dr. Pepper. My son replied "no wonder you're so fat." It came out of so left-field that I couldn't help but to laugh. My 9yo is hardly mean. He's just very blunt and observant. ###### | YTA. And a bully. ###### |
So I’m from an asian country. Socially to some extent it’s kinda less conservative than some, so people date and have sex and all that without much of a problem, but we’re still generally obsessed with getting into good colleges and going into profitable careers. The top colleges in that regard are American ones like Ivies, Stanford, MIT, etc. I ended up getting into 8 ‘top’ US colleges, which led to lots of parents just hounding me with questions about how I got in and what their kids need to do to get in.
I told them I’d talk to their kids directly if they actually wanted advice, because I felt like I can be more real with kids around my age than adults. Some kids showed interest, so I set up a zoom call. In it, I talked about a lot of standard stuff— extracurriculars, grades, testing, essays. Someone asked me about social life and dating, and I told them honestly that I basically gave up my social life to grind 24/7— I had a pretty good social life to begin with since I’d say I was a friendly and chill guy, but I gave up a lot of social opportunities to work to secure my future. Someone brought up that I had dated a girl (smallish town, people know things), so I told him that I broke up with her because she and I had different goals— she wanted to have fun and make memories, I wanted to work hard, so we broke up and I worked hard and she made memories with other guys. I have no malice towards her for that. I did like her and I’m sad we weren’t compatible, but it is what it is.
Anyhow, apparently people thought this was juicy gossip and it spread. It got back to her and she is pissed at me for ‘slut shaming’ her by saying she ‘made memories with other guys’. I don’t think that’s slut shaming, that’s just me stating facts— she dated some other guys after we broke up. It’s not meant to be derogatory, just facts.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Although I'm not sure if call it slut shaming.
Let's be clear. No one would have a problem if you had said just this....
>she and I had different goals— she wanted to have fun and make memories
If you had stopped there? Golden. The problem was when you added
>she made memories with other guys.
You've been saying in the comments and all over the place these are just facts and not meant to be derogatory. Well while they may be true, they were completely superfluous and ended up derogatory in context. So I call bullshit. Your point had already been made at that golden stopping point. Everything that followed? That was you getting in a jab.
It was totally unnecessary for you to throw in an insult of your ex. Maybe you were letting the advice-giving go to your head, I don't know. Whatever the case, you can be better. You owe her an apology. ###### |
So my daughter (14) recently won a lot of money, £10,000 to be exact. Now she didn't do anything to win this money so you could argue does she really deserve it?
Now my son (23) recently moved away from home, he doesn't have a lot of money and I give him £40 a week to get by.
After my daughter won this money, my son asked her for around £200 to fix his car. She wouldn't give him a single penny of it. I thought that was very harsh given everything my son has done for her, even taking her places she needs to go in that very car, so it was the least she could do. And 200 is nothing compared to the full amount she had.
Anyway, I felt she had to learn that you need to be much kinder in life and like how I taught them as kids to share, I decided to split the money. My daughter has no use for this money but my son does, so I took £5,000 and gave it to my son.
My daughter was furious, with my and her brother. She won't talk to either of us and I'm worried I took it a little far. She wants it back but most of it has been spent. I'm not surer if I should get my son to pay her it back or if I was right and she needed to learn. ###### | YTA. Also, you didn’t give your son half her money, you *stole* £5000 from your daughter. You clearly have no respect for your daughter and clearly have never taught your son how to be an adult that budgets and saves.
But, since you’re so kind and giving like you say, you’ll have no problem doing something like...giving your daughter half of your pay until she gets the entire £5000 returned, right? After all, you don’t need *all* of that money, surely she should get some too. ###### |
The tile sounds bad, but let me offer some backstory. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up right before the pandemic started and recently got back together over the summer. I am attending a University in the city and I needed to get an apartment for my research opportunities. All of the dorms in the area are closed or vacating rooms due to classes online and in effort for my girlfriend to get away from her small town and overbearing parents, she asked if she could stay with me. This was fine because I had money to completely cover the lease and I was aware of how her parents treated her and her need to get away. Upon coming to the apartment, weeks have gone by and we argue very frequently and at times it becomes a toxic environment. She is the type to storm off and leave while disappearing for hours when she is mad, often going to friends houses or taking a drive. She wants me to drive her back to her home state so she can live here with her car and I made it very clear that I was against this. HERE is the issue, because of the current pandemic and how absent minded she gets when she is upset, with a car I know she will be around a lot of people I dont know, going to certain event, ect. I AM NOT comfortable with this considering that I value my well being and have been taking steps to ensure our safety. I said if she brings her car up here then she will have to find some other place to live, and even offered to help pay the down payment. I told her that I have no issue with her taking my car to go to work, or go to necessary places, but I know having her car up here will give her the freedom to be willingly ignorant to safety just because she can. I asked my friends and they said I am being too controlling and scared of the pandemic, what do you think?
tl;dr My girlfriend lives in my apartment and want to bring her car from her hometown so she has freedom to go where she wants when she wants. I am uncomfortable with this. ###### | YTA. allowing her to live with you does not entitle you to control her. if you can't trust your gf to own a car (wtf?!) then you shouldn't be together. ###### |
I've been teaching my daugher how to swim and she's got everything down pat, but she's just scared to go into the deep end.
So today I snuck up on her and pushed her in.
She disappeared under water for a bit, but when she came back, our lessons kicked in and she started swimming. She said, "Look, Daddy, I'm swimming!"
My wife came running out. "What was that? I heard a scream."
I told her, "Oh, I just pushed her in."
She shouted, "YOU *WHAT*?! What if she drowned?"
"Uhm, I'm standing right here... how is she going to drown?"
She said she doesn't want me to do that again, but I'm definitely going to when my other two daughters are old enough. My parents did it to us and it worked, didn't it?
I just wanna know...AITA or can other people understand where I'm coming from? ###### | YTA. All it takes is inhaling some water into her wrong and she can dry drown hours later or have damage to her lungs from the pool chemicals. It happens to a handful of kids here every year - they fall in, cough, seem fine and end up dead. (https://www.webmd.com/children/features/secondary-drowning-dry-drowning).
You were also running the 50/50 shot that this actually helped with her fears instead of making them worse. Not all kids are the same, you could've been a jerk, pushed her and had her hate the water afterwards. Saying "my parents did it" is idiotic - my parents smoked, drove a car after having a few beers and didn't have seat belts - that doesn't mean those things were good or safe, just that people used to do them.
You got lucky. Next kid, send them to a proper swimming class so they can learn to be safe in the water for real. ###### |
My husband was hurt when he recently discovered that his family had had a weekend getaway and we were not invited. When he confronted his mom she got very angry and said we have too many dietary restrictions. I eat a very clean diet. We are both vegetarian and try to be as sugar free as possible. I do believe the host is supposed to feed her guests, so yeah I think if were invited over it’s MILs job to accommodate us. She does not babysit my kids because she isn’t a “fucking chef”
My husband said I should lower my expectations because he misses his family. Mil posted something on social media because it was her wedding anniversary and they were on a boat in the picture. I commented that I can’t imagine having a husband who is a hedge fund manager and a boat and still being too broke to feed my grandkids. MIL is pissed because she was then accused of racism (I’m black but I don’t think she is at all racist) my husband got mad again and said I need to apologize ###### | YTA. After reading your entitled passive aggressive post I wouldn't have invited you either.
"We are both vegetarian and try to be as sugar free as possible. I do believe the host is supposed to feed her guests, so yeah I think if were invited over it’s MILs job to accommodate us." No she doesn't have to accommodate you, you can bring a dish or make do with the dishes being served.
"I commented that I can’t imagine having a husband who is a hedge fund manager and a boat and still being too broke to feed my grandkids." What kind of ass posts that comment on their mother in law's social media wedding anniversary post. ###### |
I’m a bisexual woman. Last night, I was at my brother’s house for dinner along with our parents. I admit I have a bit of a crush on my brother’s wife. She’s easily in my ‘Top 3 prettiest women I know’ list.
During the dinner, I was casually flirting with her. Nothing over the top. She didn’t seem to mind .
After we got back, my brother sent this message asking me to stop making his wife uncomfortable. I told him that he was being dense and some casual flirting is normal. There was a point when a lot of water had spilled over SIL’s dress, and I’d casually remarked if I could help her change. My brother brought this up saying that it made SIL very uncomfortable and she couldn’t say anything then because my parents were present. I told him that it’s probably his insecurities making him overreact and not to worry cause SIL was straight. He told me they were cutting me off until I apologised and promised never to bother SIL again.
Well, I’m not apologising . SIL should’ve told me she was uncomfortable, I would’ve stopped. I think that my brother’s being over dramatic.
AITA? ###### | YTA. A pig is a pig no matter the sex. ###### |
i(F29) told my (F27) friend/bridemaid she is no longer invited to my wedding.
i had a rule after choosing my bridemaids and that was i will choose everything from their dress to their make up and they seemed on board and to be honest it is my right as the BRIDE because it is MY wedding.
a friend reached out to me privately and told me she's not comfortable with changing her hairstyle because it is not easy to style African-American hair and she liked her dreads. now this is where it all started i told her that i would be willing to pay no matter the price for her hair i have no ill feelings towards her and i don't mind her hair but it would look extremely awkward next to the other bridesmaids and would stand out in pictures. again this is MY wedding and its supposed to be about ME. now if she was just a guest i wouldn't mind but she's a bridemaid which means she would be standing next to me in pictures and sitting next to me. she told me it is not about the price and she doesn't want to take them out and that heat can damage her hair i told her i respect her decision but she is no longer invited to my wedding UNLESS she changes her hairstyle (i'm honestly willing to re-invite her but only as a guest)
my friends opinions are divided some think i have the right to request that because it is my wedding and others think that telling my bridesmaids to wear certain hairstyles is too controlling. i'm really stressed about my wedding and i don't want to ruin it before it even happens.
AITA FOR TELLING MY FRIEND TO CHANGE HER HAIR? ###### | YTA. A huge one. There's absolutely no grey area here. You are actually talking about controlling a black woman's hair and appearance? That is messed up in any situation, but assuming you are not black, it is UNIQUELY MESSED UP. And then you didn't just say that she wouldn't be a bridesmaid, but you UNINVITED her?
You are such an asshole. Your wedding day doesn't give you a free pass to control other people's bodies. ###### |
My sister is 21 and I am 36M.
My parents died a few years ago and left their estate and business to me. My sister has a trust fund she can access when she’s 25. Until then, I am paying for all her expenses, including college tuition and if she wants to eat out or go shopping.
My sister and I have had a great relationship for her whole life. She’s the type that never goes out, never parties in college, and calls me every day when she’s away at school.
But when she turned 21, it’s like a switch flipped and she started talking about wanting to go out and meet guys. I encouraged her to find a guy who she could see herself in a long term relationship or a marriage with, but she said she feels like she missed out on college life.
Yesterday when she was at her primary physician’s office she asked the doctor if they could look into birth control. Then she asks me, in front of the doctor, if it’s ok for her to get it. I felt irritated to have been put on the spot and said we’d talk about it.
When we got home, I said that our dad disapproved of birth control and I did as well, and I couldn’t just let her do everything she wanted just because our father was gone.
She started crying and I reminded her that it was my money and I have been more than generous with her, letting her get designer bags that she wanted that my mom probably would have made her show her good semester grades for.
AITA? Because overall I feel that I am able to spend my money how I please and in addition, my family is very traditional and I don’t want to go against my father’s values just because he is not here. I feel she should focus on her studies and then later when she’s 23 and out of college focus on finding a man that’s also a life partner.
I feel that if I give her that green light she will end up contracting diseases and in general develop a bad reputation which would be a shame because she is universally well liked by family, friends, professors, and classmates alike. ###### | YTA. A huge fucking asshole. Why the fuck are you at the doctor with your adult sister? You have ZERO SAY in what she chooses to do with her body. You are a sexist and have embraced paternalistic nonsense. Your poor sister is being actively abused by you. ###### |
So I (55) have a granddaughter (14) who wasn’t in her bed when her mom, my daughter(32), woke up. She called police after she didn’t turn up for hours.
We live in the same city as my daughter.
The police called and wanted to ask us some questions.
My husband and I have a policy that’s served us well through the years which is to never talk to cops without an attorney present.
So we told the man on the other line that we wanted to help her would rather have our lawyer reach out. The officer accepted what we said and we reached out to our attorney who will communicate with the police for us.
Now my daughter is angry because the time we spent counseling our attorney, and claims that the added time of back and force between the police, our attorney, and us, is “ stalling the investigation.”
AITA? In our neighborhood, we have all raised our children with the advice that of police come to ask questions, you lawyer up.
Clearly our daughter is not taking that advice which is on her, but are we really the assholes for asserting our rights? Pretty much everybody knows that her teenager ran away also.
My daughter’s blaming us now for the fact that a few simple questions is taking two days in the correspondence of all the questions needed to be asked when in her opinion “ it should have taken an hour.” ###### | YTA. A child is missing and you are wasting valuable time for no reason. ###### |
Had to repost, exceed the limit
(M33) Just moved in with gf (27f) of 7months. Her mortgage is cheaper than my rent so seemed like a good idea.
She won’t let me have equal say in the house. She doesn’t want my furniture in the living room as her furniture is “better” and fits the rest of the house more. She was pretty snobby about my furniture because it’s from Ikea. I put her stuff on fbook market place to show her if we used my furniture and sold her we could go on a holiday or something.
Her dad wants her lawyer to make a contract so I can’t claim half her house if we break up. Which is rude. She agrees with him and got pissy when I said the house should be split 50:50. the deposit was inheritance money from her grand parents so it’s not even her money. She just got given it. Plus she’s only lived in the house for a year.
Her sister found my fbook post about the furniture so freaked out which made my gf freak out and she sent me to stay with my mum and won’t talk to me while she thinks things through. Her friends keep raging her in “white male apartment” memes which is petty and immature.
My mum has taken her side and I’m so frustrated that no one thinks I’m entitled to my fair share. I feel like gf is taking advantage of me. AITA for wanting what’s mine by rights?
TLDR gf won’t let me have my fair share of the house even though I’m going to pay half of the mortgage ###### | YTA. 7 months and you already feel entitled to half of her house? Telling her to sell her furniture so you can go on a trip? Wow, sir, wow. You're a true class act. ###### |
13 years ago my family won a wrongful death lawsuit for the death of my husband and as part of the settlement my daughter gets access to a trust fund when she turns 21.
The trust fund would give her almost $40,000 a year until she turns 30.
I feel like that’s a lot of money for someone that would be 21 when it starts coming in, so she’s more financially secure than a lot of kids.
My daughter’s known about this since she’s been in elementary school. Since then, she’s gotten really popular on Instagram and Tik Tok as a dancer and singer.
But at the same time, she’s really been struggling in school, socially and with the work. She’s been held back twice so instead of graduating in 2022 , she will be graduating in 2024.
She is 16 right now and my state allows students to drop out at that age.
However, my daughter’s ex stepfather of 10 years is very much pro education and even though he doesn’t have much legal parenting decisions anymore, he talks to my daughter a lot.
He’s furious that she’s even considering hanging out in LA with other influencers and calling it a job.
But my daughter’s ambitious and also wants to do some mainstream modeling and acting. She also says she needs all day to devote to influencer collaborations and getting ready for events/ creating new content.
We started speaking with school authorities this summer but since school starts very soon, we had to make a decision.
Against her ex stepfather’s protests I signed off on the decision and she’s officially no longer a high school student.
AITA? We all know that she has financial backup the moment she turns 21 and I don’t see how keeping her in something she hates and finds boring is better than letting her do something she’s passionate about. ###### | YTA. 30 is young. At 30, your daughter is going to have little education, no employable skills, and probably no money left. ###### |
I took what everyone said to heart and decided to try to reach out to my stepchild Leo (21 Non binary ) but I feel like I just made it worse?
Leo loves Italian food and I figured a nice meal and some alone time could really help us both open up and make amends. I made reservations at a really nice place, and asked this morning if they would come with me tonight. That I'd pay and that they could even have wine if they want. They asked if they could just have take out and I told them that no, we have reservations and this place gets packed FAST.
They asked if the whole family is going and I said no, just them and I. Mom and son bonding, and we can apologize for our behavior and work it out. They said "No thank you." And ordered take out for themself and no one else.
I wasnt going to let the reservation go to waste and took hubby out with me. I asked them to just keep an eye on the kids and they just shook their head, but the time for dinner was near. I came home to my children crying because they could smell food but Leo locked himself in his room like always and paint on the carpet.
Needless to say I'm upset and have since asked Leo to pay for the rug cleaner which they told me no and to be a better parent. Hubby isn't picking a side but is hinting I'm the ass.
AITA, should I just let Leo fade away like the ghost they act like? ###### | YTA. 1000% YTA. You're not Leo's mother. You already know that they don't like socialising, so why would they want to go to a restaurant that by your own words would be packed? Why are you going to a packed restaurant in the middle of a pandemic? Leo's not under any obligation to order anyone else food, either.
You left your kids with Leo after they indicated that they wouldn't look after them or be responsible. You left your own kids without feeding them. Your kids spilled paint on the carpet. That's not Leo's fault.
Leo and your husband are right, you're being a bad parent and an arse. Take responsibility for your kids and don't just leave the house knowing you don't have a sitter. Honestly, if Leo wants to do anything with you, let them instigate it. Stop trying to force them to act how YOU think they should. ###### |
Throwaway account, obviously.
So, I am getting married to my fiance in five months (hopefully!) and am obviously super excited. My fiance and I have been planning, hiring caterers and musicians in advance to the big day, and recently, we were on a Skype call with his side of the family to discuss everything.
So, my fiance's younger brother is a semi-professional pianist. He plays the piano constantly, does a lot of recitals, offers his services to people who are getting married or hosting funerals and stuff like that, but has another job to pay the bills because that sort of stuff doesn't pay a lot of money. He offered to play the piano at the wedding, without pay, and I thought he was joking, so I laughed and said "We actually want somebody talented."
I thought it was funny, but everybody else became really quiet. My future parents-in-law looked angry but didn't really say anything about it, and the rest of the call was very awkward.
Afterwards, my fiance told me that it wasn't funny and that I should apologize to his brother because he's sensitive and just wanted to help out. I replied that I want somebody professional and that I wasn't apologizing because it was just a joke.
Now, my fiance seems really distant and angry with me. I get that some jokes aren't in good taste, but I didn't really mean it.
AITA? ###### | YTA. “It’s just a joke” is what bullies say to justify being cruel. ###### |
My older sister adopted a child from Russia about 5 years ago now, when she was a baby. Her daughter is now 5 and in school. I love my niece, but her development isn’t where it should be for a 5 year old, which causes lots of discussions in our family as to whether she should be assessed or anything.
The night before last, my sister and her daughter came round to our family home. My sister is a key worker so her daughter has still been going to school. My sister started telling us that her teacher is concerned that she’s dyslexic as she’s really struggling to grasp words and phonetics and stuff. I myself have a dyslexic child, and I don’t feel as though her daughter is, so I said “she’s probably not dyslexic, probably just the crack baby component of it all” and the room went deadly silent. I didn’t think what I said was too uncalled for considering my sister made it family news that her daughters biological mom had a drug problem.
After we’d finished dinner my sister pulled me aside and said if I ever spoke like that about her daughter again she’d cut me off which I think is a bit dramatic. Her daughter didn’t hear what I said and it’s always been family knowledge. My mom and dad have also said I’m an asshole for what I said and that I need to be more considerate of my sisters feelings. AITA? ###### | YTA. “Crack baby” is an extremely harsh term. While you may have some familiarity with dyslexia, you’re not an expert. You should withhold opinion on that (and other questions regarding her development) until she’s assessed by an expert. ###### |
I (26F) married my husband (43M) a year ago.
His ex wife is in and out of the hospital for COPD which was triggered by her persistent anorexia.
His youngest daughter is 13 and lives with us when her mom is in the hospital. My husband is paying an exorbitant amount to send her to private school.
But even at 13, she’s a train wreck and already drinking and doing drugs. While her older sister, 18, and their mother refuse to acknowledge my presence except to accuse me of spending more in a month then they all did in a year, my other stepdaughter treats me as her emotional tampon and older sister.
As such, she told me her secret that she keeps alcohol bottles in shoe boxes in her room and asked me not to tell. Her friend also gets her cocaine and she keep it in her tampon box.
She’s boarding at school for the summer because select kids can, but her school has a no tolerance policy for alcohol or drugs.
I end up calling the school administrators and telling them I was concerned by what my stepdaughter confessed. They raided her room and found the stuff and she was expelled.
My husband was furious that his daughter was doing drugs and ended up sending her back to her mother.
Meanwhile, her mother is calling me a home wrecker and telling her ex husband that I was the toxic one in the situation.
At first I felt righteous because I was telling the school stuff that I felt my stepdaughter was unfairly heaping on me.
But after seeing how angry my husband got, to the point where I was there when he left a message on both their phones saying “ Love, your ex husband and ex father”, I’m getting second thoughts.
However, I do feel like my stepdaughter was taking an education she didn’t appreciate or deserve. And since she doesn’t seem to care ago education, she should just go to public school.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
Please explain how any of what you just did helped your stepdaughter stop drinking and using substances. Making her to go public school and getting her expelled was like slapping a band-aid on a bullet hole. Nothing will get solved here if you and him, as the parents in the situation, don’t dig down to the root issue of why she’s doing what she’s doing and if she needs treatment. ###### |
Hi, so I work as a lettings agent and process applications for properties on behalf of landlords. One of my client's tenants is a transgender person, but because he applied for his current property with his old ID, the name we have on our records is his old one.
It's now a year later and he is moving on to another rental, and I will say he looks like a man 100%, you would never know otherwise. I received a phone call from another estate agent for a landlord reference for his property he has applied for and as it turns out he did not mention anything about him being transgender to this new potential landlord because when they asked for him by his chosen name and I told them I don't have anyone with that first name on my files but I do have someone with a girls name and the same last name.
The guy on the phone was confused so I told him that tenant is transgender, and this has got back to the tenant somehow and he has complained on social media and we are getting slated. He said that he was living "stealth" and was moving to a new place because he didn't want anyone to know he was born a girl. I don't see the big problem? It would be deceptive for him not to tell anyone, especially the people giving him a place to live. I specifically am being berated over this for what I said, but I don't think I did anything wrong! AITA? ###### | YTA.
> It would be deceptive for him not to tell anyone, especially the people giving him a place to live.
Why the fuck would a landlord have the right to know?
And don't say that they're "giving him a place to live" like they're doing him a fucking favour; they're landlords! He's paying them! ###### |
My girlfriend (20f) and I (36m) have been living together for about six months now. She has quite a lot of mental and physical health conditions. She has chronic migraines, hypermobile joints that are causing severe pain her wrists, chronic kidney disease and pernicious anaemia, as well as depression.
She’s been struggling a lot over the past few weeks, a lot of headaches and pain in her wrists, but to me she’s doing absolutely nothing to help herself. She eats absolute junk and when she is feeling okay, she does absolutely no exercise or anything that could help her depression or her headaches. She’s so depressed she hasn’t even showered for maybe 2 weeks?
The other night I tried initiating a conversation on getting her back to feeling okay and she got really pissed at me telling her I just don’t understand how she feels. I appreciate that I don’t but I replied telling her she does absolutely nothing to help herself so it’s her own fault she feels like shit all the time. We ended in a massive argument and she’s been cooped up in the spare room ever since. AITA? ###### | YTA.
Your girlfriend is so depressed she hasn't showered in weeks. She doesn't need you telling her its all her fault. She needs professional help. ASAP. ###### |
So this’ll be a real quick post, but I’ll try and get a bit of backstory into it;
My (38F) sister adopted her daughter and my niece Jennie when she was 3.
For whatever reason Jennie has never been the smartest bulb of the bunch; she failed literally every subject she took other than religious education and catering.
She’s horrendous with geography and history, especially maths, she’s optimistic but slow and doesn’t or can’t really keep up with the news.
My sister has signed her up for tutors but for whatever reason Jennie never took, we’d be watching a film or even an episode or something and she’d constantly be interrupting or talking and her teachers told my sister Jennie was a distraction.
My son (15M) has autism which is relevant.
I had been discussing my sons behaviour with my sister and talking about how hard it is to cope with, I love him as he’s my baby but sometimes I need to vent.
When she said something like “Oh I’m so thankful I never have anything like that with Jennie!” Every time I talk about my son it’s like my sister checks off things that Jennie doesn’t do and will always say she’s grateful Jennie isn’t like that.
I kind of laughed and told her I, from an outsiders perspective, thought she had it worst.
My son at least can make a decision, Jennie can’t even decide on what to have for dinner.
I tried to be polite when my sister asked why it was funny and I explained Jennie is a bit ditzy.
I guess my sister told Jennie and now my sister is refusing to speak to me without me apologising to Jennie.
I didn’t expect Jennie to be told and I think my sister needs to not be so naive and learn that Jennie isn’t exactly bright.
Jennie has been tested for autism- she isn’t autistic, Jennie is 17.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
You: Here’s some backstory - for whatever reason my niece is stupid and fails at everything. Am I TA for insulting her?
Yes YTA and your “backstory” only confirms that. ###### |
So this all started a long time ago, my father re-enlisted after 9/11 to gain the benefits of the post 9/11 GI bill. Which for those who don’t know thatallows you to select one of your family
members to receive essentially a free education at a public college paid for by the government.
At least that’s what he told me, fast forward 10 years of me being told that my college was taken care of and I apply and get in to Virginia Tech, a public school that’s out of state for me.
One month later my dad sits me down and tells me that the GI only covers the instate portion of the tuition and not the out of state (another 50k for 4 years) and that I would need to get student loans. This was Information that literally took me 30 seconds to find but he elected to tell me after I had already accepted. Now my mom had me leave the room and when I came back suddenly dad said he was going to pay for all of it and that he needed to take out a loan on the house. He makes 130k a year so no real financial difficulty if he didn’t spend most of his paycheck on his ww2 collection.
However anytime I talk to him he finds someway to bring up all that he has sacrificed for my education. So when ever possible I refuse to speak to him. He has recently started accusing me of being ungrateful for just about everything. In my eyes he’s not being generous, he’s honoring a deal he made 10 years ago that he broke. ###### | YTA.
You are ungrateful.
Not only for the financial contributions your dad made but also because he had to reenlist to be eligible to legacy his Post 9/11 to you.
The post 9/11 and how it works has changed through the years as congress has shifted things around. That isn’t on your dad.
It is *exceptionally* complicated to navigate blindly and your dad may very well have made that promise not knowing all the hoops and ins and outs.
Your parents don’t owe you a free education. ###### |
Our intended wedding date is July 2021, should everything go accordingly.
The main tiff between the fiancé and I at the moment is the bridal party, well the flower girl. He's 29 but has a much younger, biological sister whose 8. Because of the difference they're relationship is more uncle and niece then brother and sister.
I have a niece from my older sister, whose nine, but I'm a big sister to her.
Getting engaged, I knew right away my niece was going to be my flower girl. Whenever my fiancé and I drop by his parents, his little sister asks if she can be flower girl. It's a little awkward. I'm not close to her. Again, my fiancé isn't close to her. I joke she's going to need to fight my niece over that.
In August we had a get together with both his and mine family to announce the bridal party. His little sister was there and was super excited and announced to everyone she was going to be the flower girl. Again, I choose my niece. To make things a little more awkward, his little brother (11m) is the ring bearer. His sister obviously looked hurt after.
Since then my fiancé has received messages from both his mom and dad asking if we could find a spot for her in the wedding because she's feeling left out and her brother doesn't love her. He was comfortable with just my niece being flower girl, but now his opinion is turning because he's getting so frustrated with the messages. He's now saying we can have 2 flower girls but I don't want that in my wedding. I made a choice and would like him to stick up for me. AITA? ###### | YTA.
Why not just let both girls do it?
But then to have everyone over & embarrass the little girl in front of the whole family. Yeah, you're an asshole.
It should have been made clear to her *privately* that she wasn't the flower girl ahead of time if that was your plan.
It's not just your wedding. It's his too. Remember that. ###### |
Hi reddit, my husband and I have always tried to provide the best that we can for our two daughters (19f and 14f). We are both well paid engineers and have set aside money to pay for our daughters’ college tuitions and weddings. My elder daughter is in college and also lives with us completely rent free. We are now having another kid and we wanted our elder daughter to help out with some childcare things during the day like changing diapers and also watching the baby some evenings/weekends when needed.
My older daughter said it was not her responsibility and that she absolutely wouldn’t help out with the baby. During this conversation a lot of words were exchanged and she (perhaps in anger or in all seriousness, I don’t know) said we better not expect her to help take care of us when we’re older either. My husband and I have always tried to help our daughters out as much as we can, and we thought they would do the same for us. But my older daughter has some very strict boundaries on what her obligations are as a child and says she owes us nothing. Which is true but my husband and I had a serious talk about everything that happened and decided perhaps it’s in our best interests to take older daughter’s tuition/wedding money and save it for the new baby and in our retirement savings accounts instead, given that we would not be receiving any help from anyone else.
Our older daughter freaked out and called us all kinds of names. We still let her live with us rent free, but it is becoming really unbearable living with her and all the animosity she’s showing me and my husband right now. We said we would continue to pay for the rest of her Sophomore year, but she would have to start working or taking out loans to pay the rest. We are not doing this to spite her but rather to look out for our own best interests, so reddit, AITI here? ###### | YTA.
When you and your husband decided to have a new baby, did you include your daughter in that conversation or was she volunteered after the fact to be your built in babysitter?
She is not obligated to be your free child care.
At the same time, you are technically not obligated to pay for her college/wedding.
**However** it’s incredibly fucking selfish of parents to insist that their children are their retirement plans, built in child care, and then hinge secondary education on those terms.
You are the parent and she is the child. Are you legally obligated to provide those things? No. But as a parent, should you want to give your child the beat possible chance she could have in life? **Fucking Yes**
You’re irrelevant decision to have a third late-in-life baby is not your eldest college-age daughter’s responsibility and you’re fucking selfish to be hinging her education money on your own selfishness.
And one more time, because everyone knows repetition is how we all learn: children are not retirement plans. Those have many names, including but not limited to, 401k, IRA, RothIRA, etc
Maybe try one of those. ###### |
My (47m) wife and I are going through a rough patch and as a result my daughter (19f) has been acting out a lot. She taunts me all the time and irritatingly takes my wife's side a lot.
One day my wife invited her girlfriends over and they were sitting in the bedroom chatting. I came from work and was sitting outside for a good while waiting for them to come out, as it felt rude to intrude since they were sitting inside. My daughter came out of her room to the kitchen, saw me sitting in the hall and said to me "Have you said hi to mom's friends?"
I felt that her body language was completely off. She manages her tone so I can't call it outright disrespect but this was the last straw. She had no right to ask that. That night, as a punishment I told her that I would be occupying her room and she would be sleeping with her mother. I also made her shift all of her stuff out of there. The reason I posted is because she really is frustrated that she can't attend classes properly because there isn't good wifi in any other room except the hall, which is too noisy for her. So Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA.
Way to make your failing relationship spill over into your child’s life rather than shielding her from the fallout, Dad. As if violating her privacy and autonomy isn’t bad enough, fuck her schoolwork too, amiright? Excellent parenting.
YTA YTA YTA. ###### |
Hey all,
I (F36) make about $175,000 a year (after taxes). My husband (M30) is a stay-at-home Dad who does the occasional side job but for the most part doesn't really do paid work.
My husband and I decided that from every financial inflow into the house, I'll get 20%, he'll get 10%, (for personal spending) and the remaining 70% will go for household spending, savings, etc.
For the next few months, a family friend and his adopted kids will be staying with us due to some personal issues. He and his kids agreed to help with the housework (and pay discounted rent). Since there will be less work on his end, I suggested temporarily reducing his share to 5%. He is not too happy with me, saying that he entitled to the full 10%, despite him having less work now. AITA?
Edit: I get more spending money cause I do more; actually earning the money and all
Edit 2: The friend did say that they will ensure they do more than my husband. But since they are bringing in work, I am open to meeting him halfway and raise it back to 7.5%
Edit 3: The 70% goes for household expenses including food, utilities, mortgage, vacations, etc. The 10% / 20% are for personal expenses such as clothes, fun time out, gifts, other discretionary stuff, etc.
Edit 4: I realize I was wrong to reduce his share. I apologized and he accepted it. The 70/20/10 ratio will remain. ###### | YTA.
This whole thing makes YTA. It should be equal access or an even split of the fun money. Not more to you because you have an outside job. Your husband also works...he takes care of the kids and the home.
If I were your husband I would rethink allowing the person to come stay with you. It sounds like it will end up being more work for him in the end and he will still have to deal with a dismissive spouse. ###### |
Throwaway account, obviously.
So, I am getting married to my fiance in five months (hopefully!) and am obviously super excited. My fiance and I have been planning, hiring caterers and musicians in advance to the big day, and recently, we were on a Skype call with his side of the family to discuss everything.
So, my fiance's younger brother is a semi-professional pianist. He plays the piano constantly, does a lot of recitals, offers his services to people who are getting married or hosting funerals and stuff like that, but has another job to pay the bills because that sort of stuff doesn't pay a lot of money. He offered to play the piano at the wedding, without pay, and I thought he was joking, so I laughed and said "We actually want somebody talented."
I thought it was funny, but everybody else became really quiet. My future parents-in-law looked angry but didn't really say anything about it, and the rest of the call was very awkward.
Afterwards, my fiance told me that it wasn't funny and that I should apologize to his brother because he's sensitive and just wanted to help out. I replied that I want somebody professional and that I wasn't apologizing because it was just a joke.
Now, my fiance seems really distant and angry with me. I get that some jokes aren't in good taste, but I didn't really mean it.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
That was mean. And he does play professionally. It just doesn't pay the bills. He offered a generous gift and you crapped all over it. ###### |
I have a burn scar on the right side of my face and I have had it since I was 12 I won't get into the story in too much detail other than I'll say that my mum and dad were drug addicts. And it has pretty much ruined any chance I have with girls, on top of that I'm 6'4 so I just look really intimidating especially since I'm really strong. Usually, I just make a joke about being Zuko and it helps ease the tension I know it's not my personality since I can make and maintain friendships effectively for the most part. I'm successful in my education as I'm pursing an M.D/Ph.D. degree with hopes of being a psychiatrist and then I'm planning on going to areas with underprivileged kids
I'm 26 and have never even held hands with a girl in a romantic way so I know it's over at this stage, but still had a spot of hope with this girl I had a crush on. I decided to ask her out and she said no which is what I already anticipated but for some reason, this one hit me hard and I was depressed. My friend is also my roommate and he noticed me sitting in the dark and he asked me what was up and I just said that I'll never find love and I'll die alone since I'm hideous. He said that's not true and that girls care more about how you carry yourself vs how you look this made me mad because the dude is literally a model. I'm not exaggerating he has done modeling jobs before.
I told that's the biggest bullshit advice I've heard in my life and that if he was in my life for one day he'd go insane from the lack of touch. He sais I'm a real asshole when I'm having a depressive episode, and I just told him to fuck off and he left, he said he'd be there when I'm ready to apologize. But I don't even want to since the advice was so BS AITA? ###### | YTA.
Sure there’s middle ground here but what did you want him to say? Nothing? That you’re right? That you’re never going to find someone and it’s only because of your looks?
Looks matter for sure but probably not to the extent of which you think. I’m sure it’s very easy for your buddy to get chicks. I’m sure he has insecurities about it. “Are these women only with me because of my looks?” “Why does no one value you my intelligence?” “Why is my friend cussing me out when I’m simply trying to lift his spirits?”
It sounds like you reek of low self esteem which is way more of a turn off for majority of women than looks are. He was trying to help dig you out of a hole but didn’t anticipate how deep in it you were and it sounds like you’re projecting resentment on him.
You literally say “which I was expecting”. People can feel that shit, dude. On some Eeyore shit. Buck up. You’re attractive in you’re own right and I’m sure you’re packing a hog.
I’m a few years older than you and my best friend felt damn near the same way as you almost his whole life. Around mid to late 20’s he found the most amazing girl that truly loves him and they are so happy. Honestly ideal relationship. But he had to change his attitude.
Hope your spirits rise and hope you find love and happiness. ###### |
Basically, we were at a busy tourist attraction village and while we were quite separate from.the crowd, it's set out in a way that the majority of the crowd was facing us. I'm the sort of person that shys away from the limelight and or focus of attention so I told.my girlfriend that we should maybe move back a bit so we weren't quite so in everyone's eyesight, and so we were less likely to be given grief by someone who doesnt like it. She got the idea that I think she shouldnt be allowed to breastfeed in public (which i definitely dont think) and is now extremely annoyed with me because I spent the next 15 minutes trying to explain myself which only served to make matters worse.
I dont feel like im an asshole, but maybe I am. That's why I'm here. I feel like I might be a bit selfish in that I was asking her to move because i didnt want to cause a scene, but that's only because I dont want to get into a situation where I have to have a public argument because of course, if someone said something to her then I would have had to tell them to fuck off.
Anyway, I'm interested to hear what you guys think. ###### | YTA.
She’s trying to feed a hungry child, that’s her main priority and should be yours, why do the opinions of other passerby’s matter more than the health and happiness of your baby?
It’s 2020, women have been breastfeeding for milleniums, it’s not something radical and shocking, it’s completely natural and most people were breastfed by their own mothers. I doubt anyone would have paid any attention or had a problem with it other than you.
I think most people would prefer to be around a quiet, happy baby being breastfed than a screaming hungry distressed baby. It would have attracted far more attention and stares if she hadn’t breast fed her child then and there.
Also it’s not your boob. If you were breast feeding and felt self conscious it would be absolutely fine if you wanted to go somewhere secluded / cover up more. But it’s not your boob, so why are you implicitly shaming your wife and making her feel uncomfortable when she clearly didn’t in the first place. Your shyness has absolutely so place in this. You will never understand the pressure breastfeeding mothers feel, stop being a selfish AH ###### |
I’m a 26 year old woman my daughter is 4 and one of her friends is having a small birthday party. Well recently she was at a playground and another one of the girls there was bullying her. I noticed that the bully was also friends with the girl having the party. However I’m good friends with the mom of the birthday child so I asked her to uninvite her because I was pretty upset about what happened with my daughter. She told me that she will do that. AITA for doing this? ###### | YTA.
She’s 4. If it was reoccurring then that’s one thing, but if after one stinking playground disagreement, you’ve decided to have A LITTLE GIRL uninvited to a birthday party, then you kind of suck. I’m all for advocating for your child, when necessary. But you’ve essentially bullied a toddler when you could have handled this like a mature adult. As in, talk to her parents or give the girl the benefit of the doubt (having a bad day, or just ya know, being a little kid). ###### |
“Fuck you” she said, after I told her I would be back from the gym at 7:30, just like last night. She refuted I wasn’t there at 7:30, that I didn’t get home until 8. I told her I was indeed there at 7:30, I just sat on the driveway because I was speaking with a client. As soon as I clarify that, she said: “why do you have to snap at me, fuck you”. WTH, why does clarifying to her the time I got back in my defense, made her snap like that? In front of our 8 year old son too smh! I have not talked to her ever since, I left after the fuck you to the gym and feel so disrespected, I don’t know if I should say something or not, because I don’t want to be cursed at again. AITA? ###### | YTA.
She needed you home by 7:30 because she wanted to leave at 7:30.
You sitting in the driveway on a call with a client until 8 means you werent available until 8.
You mincing words with her and sayimg technically you were home at 7:30 is something a teenager would do who'd broken curfew. ###### |
Throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main.
I've been dating this girl for 8 months now. She's honestly amazing and I can almost see our future together. She has a 3 year old daughter from a past relationship, whom I've never met. I've seen pictures, videos, and heard her gush about her daughter but I've never formally met her.
Couple of days ago, I was out doing some small grocery shopping, I saw my girlfriend with her daughter in the store, I thought that it would be nice to approach her to say a quick hello. I tried to place a small kiss on her lips, but she dodged my kiss, which I found very rude and odd. Her daughter was very hyper, and quite sweet. She would enthusiastically wave and say hi to most people, including me. I offered to help her load her groceries in her car, but she politely declined. When she was instructing her daughter to say a proper goodbye, my girlfriend referred to me as her "friend" rather than her "boyfriend" which I thought was rather insulting.
When we were on a call, I asked her why she didn't introduce me formally to her daughter, didn't allow me to help her and why she dodged my kiss. I explained to her that I thought that her behavior towards me was rather cold, and unlike how she usually was. She apologized, but told me that I was slightly overreacting.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
Responsible single parents need to be very cautious and deliberate about how they introduce their kids to folks they're dating, for a variety of reasons I can't do justice in a short post (but which I'd think you'd have bothered to read about or look up by now -- there are many articles out there on this). This is not the kind of thing that you just spring on a kid in the grocery store.
YTA for expecting her to just do this casually with a kid that young.
YTA for handling it the way you did (rather than asking how to do better going forward)
And I think YTA for dating this woman for 8 months and not bothering to do even casual research about how to date a single parent; if you had, none of this would be a question for you. ###### |
So my husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 2. He has a 12 year old daughter who lives in another state with her mom.
Recently her mom lost her job and they got evicted from their apartment. Stepdaughter now wants to come stay with us like she normally does every summer. However this time she wants her mom to stay with us too because she’s lost her job and has no place to live.
My husband thinks it could work but I’m 100% against it. For one thing I bought this house before I got married and I don’t want my husband’s ex sleeping in one of my guest bedrooms. Simple right? Stepdaughter is upset that I’ve laid down the law and accused me of trying to keep her and her mom apart. I told her she doesn’t have to stay with us this summer, but my rules are final.
So now she and her mom are staying with another relative one state over. My husband now wants to stay near them over the next few weeks as a result because he won’t see stepdaughter rest of this year otherwise. I told him if he’s actually thinking of living with his ex then he can move out permanently. And I’ll be filing for divorce right after.
I have some friends/family who thinks I’m being too harsh over this. But I don’t see why I should be ok with my husband’s ex living with us for any period of time. AITA? ###### | YTA.
Ok, you don’t want to live with his ex. That’s perfectly acceptable. The other thing option is for him to rent an air bnb and visit his daughter over the summer. Because he won’t see her the rest of the year.
You are dating a man with a kid. If he can’t see her in your house obviously he is going to see her some other way. If you can’t accept that he wants to see his kid maybe you two should divorce.
Edit: after seeing your edit I am even more sure of my answer. THIS ISN’T A COMPETITION. This isn’t about you vs. his ex wife. Yikes. ###### |
Most of the kids in my child’s Texas school district returned to class face-to-face this week, although about 20-30% of the students are still working from home. I received an email from one of my kid’s teachers introducing themselves and letting parents know that their class was “blended learning” where all the kids (virtual AND face to face) watch videos to learn the class content and turn assignments in online. I was pretty upset with this; why is my child even going to school when they’re not going to be taught F2F? I responded to the teacher’s email and asked for clarification on if they were ACTUALLY teaching the kids who physically show up for class. They responded with some diplomatic bs about needing to provide the same opportunities to F2F and virtual students, they always answer any student questions, and the school board is requiring teachers to have lessons prepared in advance in case they’re exposed to the virus and have to quarantine. I truthfully just think it’s all stupid and this teacher is lazy. Teachers in my state make good money, get half the year off, and now they get to sit behind their desks the entire work day doing nothing? My taxes pay their salary. I communicated this to the teacher, saying respectfully that my child has a right to a better education than being taught by a YouTube video. I copied an assistant principal from the school and my wife on my response, but now my wife is upset with me and saying that I’m TA for “harassing” this teacher. So Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA.
My mother is a teacher, in Texas no less. I see every day what she has to deal with trying to do virtual learning, and I've seen for the past 8 years what she does when doing face to face learning, and it *sucks*.
Your entitled attitude is the worst thing about teaching, she says. People like you have no idea how much teachers *actually* make, nor do you care. (She makes about 50k a year *before taxes*, but *after taxes* it comes to about 30k, in case you were wondering.)
Your comment about "sitting behind their desk and doing nothing" is so far off the mark, too. There are at least 5 different programs that are being run while in virtual learning, and an entire battalion of grading programs, learning tools and other items that they're required to use running in the background.
She has no control over what she teaches. The school system tells her to teach something and how to teach it, and she does the best she can under the circumstances. For you to harass your child's teacher and assume they're lazy simply because *you* don't understand how the process works is not only insulting but demeaning.
It shows in your character what you really think of teachers, OP. Maybe you should go back to your old teachers and apologize while you're at it. ###### |
I went to an old friend bday party, met some new people and some guy was telling me and two other girls that his baby mama is ugly. I automatically thought since babies usually have features from both parents that would mean he would be calling his own baby ugly and that what I said to him. Everyone looked at me, one girl said his baby is cute. I’m a pretty honest person and don’t care to lie to make someone feel good, people need to know the truth no matter how hurtful it is. So I automatically said not every baby is cute (in my head I know that I don’t find everybody in the world cute, so why would kids be any different). So the guy showed me a photo of his 6 month old son and said my baby is really cute.. look. I looked at the photo and looked back at him in silence. Everybody just looked at me like I was Crazy.
1). I don’t know why he would show me a photo of his baby after I said that comment, like I would automatically think his baby is so adorable.
2). If I see a baby that is absolutely adorable I would say that but if I don’t, I tend to keep my mouth shut like I did in that situation ###### | YTA.
In theory I agree with you - not all babies are cute. But it's just something you don't say out loud. You never insult a person's new born (however unintentionally). ###### |
The main cast is just me (42F) and my sister Belle (21), who was a late in life kid.
I don’t know how else to phrase it without sounding envious, but Belle is pretty much the golden child. She’s not only better looking than me, but she’s also the favorite child. I could give examples but I don’t want to cross the character limit and make this about that.
Belle is engaged to her college sweetheart and our parents are planning for a no expense spared fairytale wedding for her. The wedding is set to be when all is right in the world so don’t worry.
A little about me: Belle is literally the beauty and I’m not ugly but not plain Jane either. I’ve still got my career going for me. It’s kind of a family joke that Belle got the beauty and I got the brains. I haven’t really had much luck in the dating game, haven’t put myself out there in a while. I’ve come to accept my life as it is.
But of course, a small part of me is sad. So I asked Belle in private a while ago if, after the ceremony, I could just walk down the aisle after all the guests cleared. I didn’t want to upstage her, steal attention, none of that. I wouldn’t even wear white or a wedding dress. I would just walk myself down the aisle and then rejoin everyone.
Of course Belle said no. I fully respected her answer and didn’t intend to push the matter any further but she then proceeded to rip me to shreds and say that of course I wanted to finally boycott being the less favored daughter at her wedding of all places.
I tried to explain that I wasn’t trying to boycott anything and that I just wanted to get to experience walking down the aisle without making a scene. I even let her know that I respected her no. AITA for even asking in the first place? ###### | YTA.
If you want to "experience walking down the aisle" without trying to make drama on your sister's special day, go to an empty church between services. That's a great place to get your ya yas out. ###### |
They were best friends before we ever started dating but still. I am her husband and the father of her child. I had a right to find out she was pregnant before my sister, but instead of telling me first once she found out her response was to call my sister. I was an afterthought.
I feel like she robbed me of a special moment which I will never get back, and it has soured my mood on the whole pregnancy. I am finding it hard to get excited about anything because we started off on such a bad note.
I told my wife that I didn't want to go to her first appointment. My sister could go with her instead if she wanted company. My wife didn't like this, but I told her that it's her own fault for getting us started on a bad note.
Maybe I will go to others or maybe not. I have no clue and don't feel involved in any way, so what does it even matter.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
I understand being hurt that she told her best friend before she told you, but your reaction is extreme, and completely irrational. You can't get excited about being a father because of this? You don't feel involved in any way even though it's your own flesh and blood? You have no idea if you're going to participate at all? Come on, man. You must know that's a bit crazy, right? This is you CHILD you're talking about, and you've already written the whole thing off because she told her best friend first? You'd best get the hell over it, and fast, or expect a divorce in the near future. ###### |
My (25M) roommate (25F) has been out of town for a few weeks to attend a family member's funeral. I asked her if it was alright for me to have my gf over while she was gone, considering we hadn't seen each other for a while due to the pandemic. She said no problem, we'd be staying in my bed/my room & she didn't have any food in the fridge we were to leave alone, etc. My gf would probably be gone before she was back as well.
While she was over, my gf got her period. I know where my roommate keeps her pads, I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if I told my gf she could use them as well the over the counter pain meds my roommate takes. While my roommate has very painful periods every time, my gf doesn't have very painful periods, but every once in a while the cramps are worse and she needs to take them, this was one of them.
I didn't keep track of how many she used, and eventually the weeks were over and she left & my roommate came back. Another couple days went by, and my roommate hit her period.
I don't keep track of my roommate's periods lol, but I know this because she came to me looking very stressed and asked where her pads were and where her pain meds were. I told her that I let my gf use them, and she said that my gf had used all but a few plus had finished the pain meds.
She told me the least I could do was go out and get her more. I didn't think I had to, was it really a big deal that I let another girl use her pads (?), and we bickered for a little bit before she left.
She came back a while ago and has been ignoring me since. We've always gotten along pretty well, so this reaction confuses me. Is she overreacting because of her period or AITA? ###### | YTA.
Dude, you're a BIG asshole. I mean, you stole from your roomate, and when she was in a pinch, with literal blood oozing out of her, and with a pain you can't even begin to understand, you refused to go and buy stuff you took in the first place?
You're an asshole and a thief.
Edit: thank you for the award, kind stranger.
Edit2: adding judgement. ###### |
When my daughter was nine, she and her brother had spilled juice on two books and the head librarian went up to me and said “Ms. X, this book is all wet and it’s all damaged and I am very upset. Do you know what may have happened?” I saw immediately that it was a chapter book and got upset at my daughter in front of the librarian, saying that she was irresponsible and that we wouldn’t be borrowing books from the library anymore if she was going to make us pay huge fines to the library because she can’t keep water away from a book.
I got home and told my husband and he was upset too. He said that we’d have to pay them $10 to get a new book (details that the librarian and I had worked out) and told my daughter that “ten dollars was not a small sum of money.”
My daughter was like, “I’m sorry, Dad,” and handed over a 20 dollar bill that my sister had given her for Christmas. My husband was like, “That is not your money. That is money your aunt worked her ass off to give you. Wait until you work your ass off at a dead-end job to and you make less than ten dollars an hour.” I agreed with my husband. My daughter recently confronted us about this and honestly, we didn’t even remember.
My daughter said that incident, along with others, made her bitter and resentful towards us, so AITA? ###### | YTA.
Children are clumsy. They lack concentration and control of their limbs and it takes them a while to develop those things. The average parent pays far more than $10 in damages.
You insulted her in front of the librarian, scolded her again once she was home, and after your daughter attempted to put things right by offering her own money to you (aged *nine* - her messes were still very much your responsibility) you insulted her again. It's not surprising that she carries resentment. You completely exaggerated the impact of what she had done and then put her in a place where there was literally nothing she could do to rectify her mistake.
You're also projecting your financial obsessions onto your daughter. Having a good job and a lot of her college paid for doesn't mean that she's "fine" or that her relationship with you is. ###### |
Hi, I know how the title sounds, but here's the story. One of my (23F) close friends (24F) is a fat woman. I think she is absolutely gorgeous inside and out, but she does struggle with obesity and losing weight and very serious self-image problems. She talks about it with our friend group very frequently, and I know her issues with self image have been quite debilitating in terms of her dating life. She's basically never been in a relationship, despite being a perfectly lovely, smart, ambitious, fun person.
Recently though, she met a new guy on a dating app and they really hit it off. They've been going on dates for about two months now and it seems like things are progressing quite well. We couldn't be happier for her because she really deserves it. On Friday, our group of friends went out for some drinks, and she was showing us pictures of him and telling us how she can't wait for us to meet him. That's when I blurted out "he seems great, and he's okay with your weight right?"
The table went dead silent and I realized how rude I sounded. I tried to backpedal and explain that I only brought it up because I know how much she has struggled (she literally talks about it ALL the time) and I wanted to make sure she's with someone who treats her well. She started tearing up and another friend said "dude that's super fucked up" and I tried to say they're kinda overreacting and that we were ALL thinking about it and just wanted to make sure she feels comfy in the relationship.
Anyways, that was Friday, it's now Tuesday, I've made several attempts to reach out to my friend and others in the group and they said they have no interest in talking to me for the foreseeable time. I'm really sad because these are my core best friends, and I am extremely lonely without them. AITA? What can I do? ###### | YTA.
And honestly, is there really a scenario in which you expected to be told you weren't TA?
You basically just took your friend's insecurities, stuffed them into a pinata, and chunked a bat at that pinata at the second-worst possible time, while she was happily talking about her new relationship to her friends. The worst possible time would've been if you'd met the guy and asked him yourself, so thankfully for your friend, at least that was avoided.
All you had to do is just make sure he treats her well, which can be accomplished independently of any mentions of weight.
You messed up, and you realized your question "sounded" rude because it WAS rude.
All you can do here is reach out to your friend directly, with a clear and sincere apology. No trying to explain what you meant, none of that.
"I am sorry for how rude I was the other night - there is no excuse for what I said, and how deeply hurtful it was. I understand that you need time before you can talk to me again, but I will be here when you're ready." ###### |
So today my neighbor's kid (10) and a few of his friends (8-12) had a nerf war and I didn't have a problem with it until I wanted to go outside and the bullets kept hitting my fence making a small thump. I went over to the kids parents and told them to calm down, they said Ok we will tell them to calm down" they did for a bit but got rowdy again. I go inside to check on my pizza in the oven but then I hear the sound of glass breaking, I go outside and see my favorite glass on the ground in pieces with a nerf bullet next to it. I was furious, I wanted to go to the parents and tell them what they did but then I decided to call the cops.
I felt like it was fair, they destroyed my property and was disturbing the peace I felt like it was justified, so I called them. They come to the house and I went with them to confront the parents. They answered the door and the police started asking questions, they then called the kids into the front yard to ask them what happened. One of the kids started to fake cry and the other kids just looked scared, more of the other neighbors started looking. The police found out who did it, it was the 8 year old who was fake crying.
He was told to apologize and was fake crying all the way through, I told him "Don't act like a victim now that you got caught" after that the police left and the neighbors looked at me with disgust. They started to leave and I heard one of them say "Imagine calling the cops on kids" I told the parents they have to pay for my glass. They gave me the money angrily and went inside, I text my friend what happened and he said I was a idiot and it was most likely a accident and that call the cops on kids is a idiot move. I told him I had every right to and he just sent a clown emoji so AITA? ###### | YTA.
And before you argue with that, I want you to google "Tamir Rice". Look up Ben Fields. Check out [this news article](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/juliareinstein/school-resource-officer-slammed-middle-school-north-vance). And then spend a little time learning about what the police do to people in this country. Being a child is no defense, they can and will assault, maim, or kill you.
Like, let's be clear. You called an armed agent of the state, who is taught that at any time his or her life may be at risk, and who constantly gets "better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6" burned into their skull, on a group of _children_.
Not only are you the asshole, I'd go so far as to say that you deserve some form of legal or extralegal punishment for this insanely awful decision. You put the lives of those children and their parents at risk with your actions. ###### |
We moved in together recently, and we've been having a conflict over whether or not I should learn how to do her clothes.
I never learned how to do more than a basic wash because none of my clothes require it. I wash everything together unless it's a new shirt and might bleed or it's my workout clothes, but even then I still wash on warm or cold so at most I do two loads and do no real sorting. I dry clean my suits and work clothes. I've done this now for well over a decade and it's worked without a problem.
The problem is that this method doesn't work for her clothes since they are much more sensitive to the water temperature and drying method than mine.
She wants me to learn how to wash her clothes too but I refused. I don't think I should have to learn how to wash her clothes. She can wash hers and I'll do my own. She then asked what happens if she's sick. I think that's a dumb question because obviously in the past it's not been a problem when she lived alone, but worst case I have them dry cleaned. It's not that expensive and fixes the problem.
The solutions I've proposed make sense to me, but she thinks I am being an asshole for refusing to learn how to take care of her things, which I don't understand. ###### | YTA.
>She then asked what happens if she's sick. I think that's a dumb question because obviously in the past it's not been a problem when she lived alone
You've kind of missed the point of cohabiting with other humans. You're supposed to love, help and support each other. Could she survive without you? Sure. But she's made the generous decision to survive *with* you. Be kind. ###### |
I’ve (25F) been dating my boyfriend, “Van” (25M) for 6 months now. Van’s best friend is a girl named “Kayla”. Kayla is nice and I like her, but she has one annoying habit. She baby talks. Most of the time she talks in a normal voice but sometimes she whines or uses w’s behind her words because she thinks it’s cute. She calls Van her “big brudder” instead of “big brother”. She’s 24 years old.
Honestly, baby talk on adults is a huge peeve of mine. It’s not cute, you’re grown and I don’t understand whining. I’ve tried to ignore it or ask “what did you say” when she talks like a baby until she talks like an adult but it’s still annoying.
Recently we were all out to eat (me, Van, Kayla and Kayla’s boyfriend). Kayla looked at the menu, got excited and started squealing in a baby voice “I want chickie nuggies!!!” It was loud and kind of embarrassing. Later, she whined when her boyfriend had something she wanted.
That night, I texted Kayla and asked her to stop with the baby talk around me. I said she was a grown adult and it was hard to listen to. She got upset and said that I was being a bitch, that Van didn’t care, so she wouldn’t stop.
Van wants me to apologize but I feel I have nothing to apologize for. She can’t talk like this forever. Am I being an ass? ###### | YTA.
> That night, I texted Kayla and asked her to stop with the baby talk around me. I said she was a grown adult and it was hard to listen to.
You're right that you're a grown adult - so you can either be a grown up and accept that the world doesn't conform to your distaste of others' idosyncracies, or you can be a grown up and make the adult decision to not spend time around people who irritate you.
This is admittedly *your* pet peeve. Asking others to change themselves to fix *your* pet peeves is incredibly childish, moreso than baby talk. ###### |
This is so embarrassing and I can't believe I have to type this out. My son and DIL are currently staying with us and it has been difficult for everyone involved. I don't particularly like her and I can be civil for family dinner but having to bite my tongue for three months has been difficult. My son and DIL went to a cookout last night and I was so excited to finally be alone in the house with my husband.
I have a kink which results in a lot of noise, so obviously we've been having vanilla sex for three months and I was getting frustrated. With them gone we were finally free. Well I guess she came home early without my son and overheard me screaming no. For the record I was laughing as well, it was not like hysterical scared screaming. My husband ignores me when I say no, but he always respects the safe word.
I didn't know she heard any of this, but the next morning at breakfast she burst into tears. I guess she was very upset by what she heard and didn't sleep well that night. She told my husband he is a pig. I told her off, because I was clearly laughing and she had no right to come at him this aggressively. I said she has to be pretty prudish to be 22 and not understand what she heard. She is currently in her room and avoiding me. ###### | YTA.
If your kink is consent-play, cool.. But why on Earth would you assume somebody hearing that from the outside would automatically know? I'm into the same stuff, but if I heard somebody shouting "no" followed by sex noises, I would assume the worst too.
She was worried about you, to the point of tears. I think it's pretty fucking brave that she *stood up for you to somebody she thought had attacked you*. And how did you respond? By getting upset and calling her a prude.
Just... wow. Two thumbs down to you, OP. You owe her a massive apology. ###### |
I’ve (25F) been dating my boyfriend, “Van” (25M) for 6 months now. Van’s best friend is a girl named “Kayla”. Kayla is nice and I like her, but she has one annoying habit. She baby talks. Most of the time she talks in a normal voice but sometimes she whines or uses w’s behind her words because she thinks it’s cute. She calls Van her “big brudder” instead of “big brother”. She’s 24 years old.
Honestly, baby talk on adults is a huge peeve of mine. It’s not cute, you’re grown and I don’t understand whining. I’ve tried to ignore it or ask “what did you say” when she talks like a baby until she talks like an adult but it’s still annoying.
Recently we were all out to eat (me, Van, Kayla and Kayla’s boyfriend). Kayla looked at the menu, got excited and started squealing in a baby voice “I want chickie nuggies!!!” It was loud and kind of embarrassing. Later, she whined when her boyfriend had something she wanted.
That night, I texted Kayla and asked her to stop with the baby talk around me. I said she was a grown adult and it was hard to listen to. She got upset and said that I was being a bitch, that Van didn’t care, so she wouldn’t stop.
Van wants me to apologize but I feel I have nothing to apologize for. She can’t talk like this forever. Am I being an ass? ###### | YTA.
I get it, I do. I physically cringed reading some of the examples you gave. But it's not your place to ask somebody to change their behavior, when it's not harming you in any way. If you find someone annoying, no matter how justified you might be, your annoyance is ultimately your problem and not theirs.
Looks like you owe somebody an apowogy. ###### |
We were having a family cookout and my kids were playing with their toys. I teach them to clean up their messes and they are starting to get the concept. But on occasion, they leave something on the floor and ill pick up the toy after them. My mom sometimes raises her voice at them but I've always held back because they helped out my husband and me I. Anyways the day was frustrating between some meat to bring spoiled, grill fell apart, etc. Typical first world problems. We were all hungry and a bit angry. My 3-year-old left his stuffed dinosaur on the floor and my mom lost her cool. She yelled, " Mikayla I'm sick and tired of your kids leaving their damn toys and my damn house".
I was got caught off guard by the language being directed at me. This came out of nowhere and she went on to say " If you can't clean up after your kids don't bring them over anymore". " They are so messy all the time". Something went off and I started screaming as well. I know my kids are messy and we try to clean up after them. But don't you ever talk badly about them.
After that scene, she apologized to me and said it was her being "hangry" I didn't expect the apology and left. All that yelling and screaming over a dinosaur. My older sister told me to smooth things over but I'm not going to. ###### | YTA.
>I know my kids are messy and we try to clean up after them. But don't you ever talk badly about them.
Your mother wasn't yelling at your children, but at you. She knows they are kids and the responsibility for teaching them to not be messy is yours.
She apologized because yes, she knows she shouldn't have yelled and that everyone nerves where touch and go from the day. She was T A there.
But you are asking if it's ok to keep being angry about it, and the truth is that there Y T A.
Your kids where being messy. She was not insulting but stating a truth about you. She probably babysits them a lot from your post and must be very tired of the same thing. ###### |
I have had a dream wedding date my entire life. I'm finally engaged, and my fiance and I wanted to book our wedding right away. However, my dream date is the weekend before his sister's wedding.
He called his parents to tell him and they said they thought it was too close, but that he should talk to his sister; they would be okay with it if she was okay with it. He called his sister to tell her. She said she thought it was too close.
We booked it the next day because someone else was looking at the venue we wanted for the same day. She's very upset. We can't wait another year because we want to start having children. ###### | YTA.
"Can't wait another year"? You can, you just don't want to.
And I guarantee you his family already hates you for your selfishness and bridezilla attitude. ###### |
My (F 38) husband (M 36) have been married for over 1 year. He has 2 kids with his ex, a daughter (7) and a son ( 4). I have no kids, nor do I want any. But I do love my step kids. They came to visit us after quite some time, as they couldn't come over during the lockdown.
​
My stepdaughter, Kate\* (name changed) excitedly showed me a $5 bill with some glitter on it. She told me she had lost a tooth and her mom told her to place it under her pillow and the tooth fairy had left her the bill in exchange for the tooth. Now, my husband's ex is a good mom, and I really didn't expect her to feed her kids such illogical nonsense.
​
I gently broke it to Kate that the tooth fairy is not real and it was m=her mo who placed the money under her pillow and she should thank her. Kate looked confused but after I explained to her that this tooth fairy stuff is just something adults make up, she seemed to understand.
​
Later that day, I got an angry phone call from Kate's mom Shirley (name changed). She yelled at me for telling her daughter about the tooth fairy being fake and how dare I ruin her child's fantasy world. I told Shirley she was overreacting and that it's important for kids to know that they get gifts due to the kindness of other people, and fictional characters. She yelled at me some more about how I made her out to be a liar. I told her she was being ridiculous and hung up.
​
She later called my husband and gave him an earful, but he stood by me and told Shirley to back off.
​
AITA for doing something Kate's mother should have done? ###### | YTA. "hi im the evil stepmom who steps on butterflies and tells children santa isn't real cause their tears make me feel joy. im a sad woman with no life and nothing better to do" ###### |
Throwaway for starters.
I am the type of guy who wants his daughter to have the best life as possible. She just finished her freshman year in college and throughout the summer has been hanging out with a guy from her college. I later learned more about him, apparently while he was in high school, he had attended special education courses because he had a learning disability that made it hard for him to remember sequences (Like if you were to tell him "359252359" and to repeat it, he would struggle to do so).
I felt uneasy and I admit it, because I rather my daughter date a normal guy than someone who had to go through the special education system. He never had the opportunity to take honors or advanced classes. I told my wife about this and she agreed that our daughter should look for more normal guys. After sitting down with our daughter to talk it out, she left in tears and seemed confused. This whole situation is new to us and I just want to know if we were in the right. ###### | YTA. *Wow*. Can't you just be happy for your daughter that she's found someone she cares for? It shouldn't matter that he didn't take advanced courses. As long as he's good to her and good *for* her, who cares what classes he took? ###### |
Throwaway.
I \[46M\] have a strict no swearing policy in my house. Recently, my oldest daughter \[16F\] has been extremely rebellious. She has been talking back to my wife and I, using her laptop for hours every day, and does not listen to anything I tell her.
A few days ago at around 11pm when I walked in to check on her, she was using a messaging app on her laptop to message her friends instead of doing schoolwork like she was supposed to. Obviously I was angry. I told her I would shut off the wifi in 5 minutes, because if she needed to do her work she should have been focused on it.
5 minutes later when I came back, I discovered that my daughter had not only not done her work, she had been using that 5 minutes to continue messaging her friends. That just pissed me off further and I took her laptop away.
When I read the messages she and her friends were exchanging, I found out that she had been complaining to her friends about how I was going to shut off the wifi, and not only that, many of her texts (and theirs) were full of swear words. That was the final straw. I yelled at her, and I used a good many swear words. I told her that if she was not going to follow my rules she could fuck off out of my house.
But before you say that I am a heartless father, let me just say, I'm not. My daughter goes to a prestigious school that has high school fees, and I have been paying for that for almost four years. She goes to dance classes twice a week. She uses a laptop that is very high quality and expensive. Whatever she wants, she has.
I'm not speaking to my daughter now. I am perfectly willing to start talking to her again provided she apologises for her behavior. She has not apologised, and has not spoken to me either. My wife says I should not have been so harsh, but I think my daughter deserved it. If she did not want me to shout at her, she shouldn't have made me so mad. ###### | YTA. *”If she did not want me to shout at her, she shouldn’t have made me so mad”* said every abuser ever. ###### |
My ex and I have a 10 year old daughter from a teenage relationship. My daughter lives with my ex and I pick her up for the afternoon on one weekend day and often take her out for dinner during the week. She still has a stuffed dog I bought for her when she was a baby and carries the damn thing everywhere. It is always dirty and I think she's too old to carry a toy everywhere.
I made a rule that she either leaves the toy at home or puts it inside a plastic bag when she's in my car or home. She cried and said I was mean, then later my ex called me to yell at me. She said I was being insensitive to my daughter's disability and needs. (Apparently she's autistic but I don't believe that.) ###### | YTa. *“Apparently she’s autistic but I don’t believe that.”* ###### |
My dad (65M) and I (35F) used to be really close. My mom was a surgeon, so my dad was the one to pick us up from school, make us dinner, help us with homework, ect. I married my husband (36M) five years ago.
My dad is also a physician, and I can tell when he's entertaining guests because he has a distinctive bedside manner. It's polite and laid-back, but there is nothing of substance and I know he doesn't think anything he's saying is important. For the past five years, he hasn't had a single real conversation with my husband and I. It's all polite bullshit, and my husband doesn't believe me because he's never heard my dad have an actual conversation.
Last week, we visited my parents, and my husband mentioned some investments he was thinking about making (that I know my dad thinks is a bad idea, because I've heard him give a 2 hour diatribe about why its a shitty idea before). When he responded, "That's really interesting, it sounds like you've put a lot of research into it", I lost it and called my dad out for not saying what he actually thinks, even when it can affect us financially.
Later he pulled me aside, and he raised his voice with me for the first time since before high school. I asked him why he doesn't treat my husband like family. He told me that's not a decision I get to make, and that my husband is a guest and he's being polite. He also told me that I don't get to dictate what he feels comfortable speaking about and to who. That made me feel really bad, and my mom got upset at me for "embarrassing my dad for no reason". Now, I'm second guessing myself, but I also feel like its his fault for not actually caring about us.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Your dad has been polite and friendly with your husband, you can't force him to feel comfortable with him or close to him. Lots of people don't want to discuss financial or political issues with in-laws, especially if you realize they have different views. When in laws say stupid things or something you disagree with some people would prefer to smile and keep the peace. ###### |
I've been going to see the same stylist for about a year before coronavirus. We had a lot in common (by coincidence, I happened to be visiting his hometown a great deal that year because several friends had moved there), but I guess in retrospect this friendliness was probably part of his 'sales patter.'
After the lockdown in March, since I knew 100% of his income was coming from his work and he was scheduled to be married this year, I emailed him asking if he was doing okay, and we chatted briefly by email.
Later that month he emailed me to let me know he had made a note of all appointments that had been scheduled and "all booked appointments during this time are my priority to be re booked once we get back into work."
I had emergency surgery in early July, and am only now feeling better. I noticed that the salon Web site says they're taking customers, so I emailed him to confirm if they were open.
He replied that they'd been open since June 24th (when they were legally allowed to reopen), said he had finally gotten through all the voicemails and emails from their shutdown, and asked if I wanted to schedule an appointment.
Honestly, this is upsetting. I'm not the typical young/attractive person that goes to that salon, but I went because they offered a specific treatment I couldn't easily find elsewhere. I'm guessing if I hadn't emailed him, I'd have never heard back from him.
The complicating factor is that I thought we had some kind of acquaintanceship at least, so it hurts to think that even though I'd emailed him during the lockdown, and I've been a regular for a year, he couldn't be bothered for two months to let me know they'd reopened.
I replied that I'd be in touch. WIBTA to just ditch him and take my business elsewhere, or am I being overly sensitive? ###### | YTA. You're being *way* too sensitive. Take the relationship you feel you've cultivated with him, multiply it across all his other clients (many of whom have probably been clients much longer than a year), and maybe you'll start to see why he's only just *now* clearing out the backlog. If you still want to search for another stylist, so be it...but if having that person consider you a friend is going to be the deciding factor, you're going to be looking for a long, long time. ###### |
Title sounds bad but there's a lot more to the story. Me and my gf are both 21 in uni. I live at home so she doesn't really come here as my mother is kinda conservative and is against her sleeping over. I mostly go to her place and we have sex play video games chill, smoke weed just hang and have fun. My gf has this habit of inviting me over and then telling me that she's on her period whenever we try to have sex (I'm okay having sex on one's period but she isnt' finds it gross)
I asked her numerous times to tell me before I come over just so my expectations are accurate. She doesn't or she'll tell me that she isn't yet and then when I arrive inform me that she just got it (which I think is a lie tbh but what do I know about periods really)
Anyway I told my older brother this and he said that she only does it cause I let her get away with it, I asked what he wanted me to do about it since I'm already there and our relationship isn't just sex. he suggested that I leave a few times and she'll eventually figure it's best to just be honest with me.
I recently took his advice much to the chagrin of my gf and she ended up posting about it on social media, I'm now being lambasted by girls everywhere calling me a misogynistic pig and other less happy language. The post has gone semi viral in my town and I'm wondering amitheasshole?
Well thanx guys it looks like I'm the AH since I'm supposedly acting entitled to sex. Ignoring the fact that she's entitled to my attention (as anyone could figure out from my post) this barrage has made me realise that this relationship isn't going anywhere. See my gf is a lot like the users of AITA, too wrapped up in gender stuff to ever see where I'm coming from. So I've decided to dump her since convincing you guys of anything is like pulling teeth and she's just gonna be the same. So well done, you've freed a girl from another patriarchal dickhead congrats. She's crying as we speak but that's what you wanted so good day ###### | YTA. You said girlfriend, not blow up doll. ###### |
I married my husband two years ago, he has a child (21 non binary ) called Leo, and I have two children 8 and 9 from a previous marriage. We all for the most part get along...
But living with Leo is like living with a ghost. They barely talk, stay mostly in their room and there is zero physical affection. They pay rent and buy their own food - they're moving out after the pandemic. Sometimes I'll see them in the kitchen, ask if they're hungry and they'll just look at me and shake their head or if they're making themselves something and I ask for some of their food they just say "No thank you." They're never at family meals and my children say that they want to hang out with them, cause they have lots of consoles in their bedroom and toys that they bought but Leo just goes to their room and locks the door.
I know they have autism and that they work online and that they're happy with their way of life - even my husband says that the therapist is proud that they're doing much better then years ago?
Incident in question is I asked them today if they want to go to my mother's today for a family reunion and that they can be on their switch the whole time or ignore everyone, just please go! And all Leo said was, "No thank you, i'm packing today."
I'll admit I just was defeated and finally snapped. "You know living with you is like living with a ghost, when you move out no will notice because you never talk or try to be affectionate. I'm your new mother and I have not ONCE been hugged by you or eaten a meal with you. I give up, is that you wanted? Because that's what you're getting!"
After saying that Leo just looked at me and I saw a tear fall and all they said was "This is just who I am.."
And not I haven't seen or heard from them in hours and the rest of the family is telling me I was a monster.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You are not this grown person's mother. This grown person is autistic and likely cannot handle the physical stimuli that you might consider 'affection'. They are an ADULT they DO NOT OWE YOU AFFECTION. I can't believe you would say something so selfish to this poor person. Rethink your choices. Become better. For the love of God. ###### |
Our intended wedding date is July 2021, should everything go accordingly.
The main tiff between the fiancé and I at the moment is the bridal party, well the flower girl. He's 29 but has a much younger, biological sister whose 8. Because of the difference they're relationship is more uncle and niece then brother and sister.
I have a niece from my older sister, whose nine, but I'm a big sister to her.
Getting engaged, I knew right away my niece was going to be my flower girl. Whenever my fiancé and I drop by his parents, his little sister asks if she can be flower girl. It's a little awkward. I'm not close to her. Again, my fiancé isn't close to her. I joke she's going to need to fight my niece over that.
In August we had a get together with both his and mine family to announce the bridal party. His little sister was there and was super excited and announced to everyone she was going to be the flower girl. Again, I choose my niece. To make things a little more awkward, his little brother (11m) is the ring bearer. His sister obviously looked hurt after.
Since then my fiancé has received messages from both his mom and dad asking if we could find a spot for her in the wedding because she's feeling left out and her brother doesn't love her. He was comfortable with just my niece being flower girl, but now his opinion is turning because he's getting so frustrated with the messages. He's now saying we can have 2 flower girls but I don't want that in my wedding. I made a choice and would like him to stick up for me. AITA? ###### | YTA. Why can't you have two flower girls?
Also, did I read this wrong - fiance's brother is going to be in the wedding? So actually you are purposely leaving out his sister. ###### |
Background- My mother (57F), Daughter (12F), and I went on a trip to North Carolina for my mother’s birthday. We just got to the hotel yesterday after 10 hours of driving, once we got there my daughter, we’ll call her ‘C’ , complained of stomach cramps and was in bed sleeping most of the time until it was time for dinner.
Story-
This morning, my mother and C were picking places to eat for brunch, once they found a restaurant eat, I asked C to get dressed so we could head out. Once she got dressed, she came out in the living room and chilled for a bit until we were all ready to leave.
While she was doing that I went into our shared bedroom and started to take off the sheets since we brought our own, once I started to take off C’s sheets I immediately saw a small red stain of blood on one of her sheets.
I called C into the room to tell her about it and this is the part where I might’ve went wrong...
C : What’s wrong?
Me: This!
I then showed her the red stain on the sheet and by the look on her face I could tell that she was embarrassed.
Me: I understand that mistakes happen but this would never had happened if you had just changed your pad like your supposed to!
Me: Pads are supposed to be changed at least 3 or 4 times a day! I just can’t believe you!
At this point she was in tears while I went to the bathroom and tried to wash the stain out of the sheet while she just stood there. Every since then she’s been extremely quite and dismissive, and I’m starting to worry if I went overboard.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. What did you hope to achieve by throwing a tantrum at your daughter for an accident? Also, what magical pads do you have the would have for-sure prevented this from happening? Newsflash: Leaks happen even when someone is wearing a brandnew pad. I can’t believe you’ve reached adulthood without knowing that. ###### |
I have 2 sons, R and K. R is 14 and K is 10. My kids are very different. R is very intelligent and has always excelled in school without giving any effort at all. He was always quite independent, and I never had to involve myself with his school, so I didn't. K, on the other hand, was never very good at school or at focusing, and his grades were never above a B.
My wife and I both work full time, and we were very nervous that K would not perform well in online school. I had the idea to have R tutor him, seeing as he was always good at math. which is K's worst subject.
R was not happy about giving up 2-3 hours a day to tutor K, but I told him that he needs to help his brother. And it worked super well! Within 3 days, K's practice scores went from 45% to 89%, but R was very frustrated because he had to "Teach things I never learned". He was talking about training his number sense, and he complained that numbers "always came easily to him" and that he couldn't teach it. I told him that he was being arrogant, and that there was no need to flaunt his intelligence. I got kind of carried away and yelled at him that he doesn't deserve his success because his smarts are due only to his good genetics, not through hard work. He asked me what more he could do, saying that his grades were all 100 or more. I called him a liar. And he became extremely upset and locked himself in his room.
Today, R came downstairs as me and my wife were talking about K's suddenly better test scores. R commented, saying "He's got the right idea, setting the bar low". I asked him what he meant, and he said "He meets the bare minimum of expectations, and he gets praise like he cured polio. I break records, and I get an "oh, ok". When was the last time you told be you were proud" I was speechless. He went to his room and hasn't left since.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. Tutoring/teaching IS a talent. R should not have to sacrifice his own future/study time for his brother, you should hire a real tutor if K needs help OR offer to pay R for his time (and if he doesn’t want to, that needs to be ok). This isn’t just a little bit of family helping each other out - this is a significant time investment above and beyond that.
It’s also very cruel and psychologically damaging that you’re telling one of your own children they don’t deserve their success and they don’t work hard. Why are you doing this? ###### |
Throwaway
This happened last Christmas and I want to know if I am the asshole
Recently my daughter married and gained two step kids from her husband. she has been spending a lot more on those step kids than her own son because apparently my daughter thinks that step kid are being treated unfairly by my daughters side of the family as my daughters step kid does not have any family except from there father. There father does not make as much cash as my daughter.
I think this is unfair and sets up for a life time of thinking that the step kids in every situation will be fair. I told my daughter that she should split up the family funds evenly but my daughter refused. So during this Christmas I got my daughters child a brand new mac book and an expensive Iphone model. While the other child got multiple presents from the family. The step children did not get anything from my family. My step grand children where mad and told my daughter it's un fair. I came to them and I told them I don't give a f\*ck about them and that life is not fair and they should grow up.
My daughter immediately came and told me that she plans to sell the gifts that I got for my grand child and split up among everyone so it does not cause any problems. I was mad and told my daughter that I don't give a fuck about her step kids and that they need to learn life is not fair. My daughter became pissed and told me that I am going to be cut off from my grand sons life. The child I am biologically related to because I acted really mean to her step kids. So or telling my daughters step kid I don't give a fuck about them and there feelings ###### | YTA. To tell any kid “you don’t give a fuck about them” is an asshole thing to do. I really hope this is a troll post. ###### |
I (48M) have a 16 year old daughter. According to her, she’s had issues with disposable pads and they supposedly “irritate” her and she thinks she gets an allergic reaction to them.
She’s heard of something called Thinx period underwear and she came to me and asked if I would be willing to order her a pair because they’re expensive. She also elected to share with me how her last period it was so bad she had to free bleed on her last days and that these would help with that. I’d never heard about them before and when I asked she said she heard about them from online and a story about a woman in a similar position to her and that these came highly recommended.
I told her no, because they cost too much. I told her that if she wanted a pair she could buy some herself. She protested and complained because she hasn’t had a job since quarantine and that these are a “necessity” so therefore I should help pay for them, and volunteered to pay half. I still refused because I didn’t see the point when there are perfectly fine disposable pads at the store. She went running to her mother and my wife is against me now and wants to order her a pair, but I said it’s my credit card and they can’t use it without my permission. AITA for this? ###### | YTA. They 'supposedly' irritate her? My dude, that is absolutely a thing, you have never had to wear them and have no idea what it's like so doubting what she says about her own body is you swerving way out of your lane. She's even offered to pay half which means you're out a whopping $17. You're going to treat your daughter like this over $17? That's the choice you're going to make? Come on. ###### |
Im currently on a trip with family, specifically my Mum, Stepdad, my Uncle and Auntie, and my cousin.
My cousin and I are both millenials. Our parents are all boomers. I say this cus there's a chance this is just a generational thing but im not sure. I love my whole family to bits and this trip has been very fun, except for this one issue.
Our parents have a pretty gross sense of humor sometimes. Most of the time its harmless stuff (fart jokes, generally teasing their respective partners, talking about how bad their breath is in the morning etc etc) but then other times it excalates into sex jokes. As an example, a few days ago my stepdad said something along the lines of "thats very hard" and uncle replied with "thats what (auntie) said last night." They all thought it was hilarious. Another example is they love to refer to my mum's pet cat as her "pussy" and purposefully make witty parallels between the cat and mum + stepdad's sex life. Eg: "(Mum) how is your pussy tonight?" "She is very well taken care of ;)" not even kidding this was said. Again they all roared with laughter.
I dont usually say anything outside of a small "ew" or "ugh". Last night however we were all at the pub and a little tipsy, having a good time, when yet another nasty reference to sexy times was said, and i kinda had a small outburst saying i couldn't understand how they were all so comfortable joking about this stuff in front of their kids. Yes, we are all adults now, but if i were in their shoes i would still prefer to keep that shit to myself.
They basically told me i was being way too uptight and that they are "allowed to let loose now" because they raised me.
I looked to cousin for backup but she wanted to stay out of it, which i understand.
Just for a bit of extra info, we are all staying in one big airbnb with communal kitchen/dining/living areas so its pretty hard to avoid these jokes, especially when they are very suddenly added to a normal conversation.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. These jokes aren’t racist or sexist and all the subjects of the jokes are okay with them. If this bothers you that much it sounds like they need to leave the kids home next trip. ###### |
My daughter recently told me that she was a lesbian and I was disappointed in her. She's always been super passionate about gay rights and seems to not like men and stuff so I always suspected that she might be gay but every time I've asked her if she was gay she either said "no" or "I don't know". She said she knew all along so I'm mad that she lied to me and kept secrets from me. She says she doesn't owe me anything but I'm her mother and I think I have the right to know. I think I have a good reason to be offended that she doesn't trust me and I'm not actually mad that she's a lesbian but the fact that she hid it from me. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. The reason she didn't tell you sooner is exactly how you're acting right now. ###### |