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I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years, I’m 21 and she’s 19. She’s currently living with me and my parents after an argument with her parents, I won’t go into the reason but I don’t think she’ll go back to speaking with them. My friends have a friend, “Brad”, Brad is a doctor around 40 and married. My girlfriend has always put an effort into her appearance but whenever we get told Brad is visiting it’s like she goes to the max; she’ll shower for 20minutes, literally scrub herself raw, shower for 30mins-40mins and absolutely smothers herself in perfume - as my grandmother would say she smells like a whores handbag. I’m not worried about Brad being a problem, I trust my girlfriend and realise she just has a problem with male role models in her life and Brad has his shit together so she looks up to him. Brad had visited two nights ago and was sat in the living room speaking to my parents when he asked me and her when we were planning on having children since she’s great with my younger brother (5) My girlfriend gets super awkward around the topic of children because despite wanting to teach we got told that the chances of us having a biological child was slim because of lack of regular ovulation, plus at our age we’re not really thinking about it. My mother has caught up on my girlfriends liking of Brad and knows why and kind of just said “Oh, I think she’d rather have them with you! Can’t blame her, who wouldn’t?!” As a joke, everyone laughed and continued. My girlfriend is really upset with me for not speaking up because she apparently can’t because she’s staying with us rent free (even though she babysits,cooks and cleans for free) My mother did apologise in the end but she kind of laughed too so I don’t think it counts. AITA? ######

YTA. It was inappropriate for your mother to say this both to Brad and your girlfriend, and incredibly creepy. You should have stuck up for her in particular. ######

I saw that it was a funny trend to sign people up for random email lists and spam them, but I decided to take this a step further because he really burnt me in the past. I went to our local church of Scientology's website and saw where you could input your personal information to receive messages from the church. Since I had most of this information from our time being together, I filled it out under his name. I did this with a few more churches of Scientology as well. I thought that this would only be a minor inconvenience with a few puzzling, harmless emails, but it turned out to be much worse. Recently, I saw that he posted on his Instagram that he was deleting all of his social media due to privacy reasons. At first, I didn't think much of it, but after a while, I started to wonder if there was any connection to what I had put in the church of Scientology's website. So out of curiosity, I later decided to bite the bullet and DM him on Instagram in the hopes that he hadn't deactivated his account. A few minutes later, he responded, saying that he needed a break from social media. Ultimately, he told me to not worry about it, and that he was going to delete his Instagram (10k followers) later that night. I figured I was off the hook. A few weeks later, I was with a mutual friend of ours, and she updated me on his situation. Apparently, him and his family had been contacted by the church of Scientology. Supposedly, they actually expressed interest. The mutual friend said the she hadn't seen him in a while and none of his friends had heard from him in over a month. She said that it seemed like he was cutting off everybody. I just received word that he's dropping out of school after the semester ends, and his family is moving to live with other church members. I know I technically signed him up for this, but I had no idea it would get this bad. He honestly deserved it after everything he did. AITA? ######

YTA. It was a petty, spiteful and childish thing to do. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Whatever he did to you doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sign him up for a dozen magazines or the Church of Scientology or anything else. There might be someone out there who’s just as pissed off at you over something as you are towards him. Would you want your personal information to be used like that? Probably not. ######

I live with two roommates. Nobody owns the house, we rebt from a local woman. They recently got a dog with her permission. I told them I absolutely didn't want a dog, but was outvoted. They agreed to the following rules. 1. The dog does not go on my floor of the house for any reason. I just think dogs are dirty, and I do not want hair on or near my things. 2. I do not do any dog care. I didn't want the dog. I'm incredibly busy, and almost always on a tight schedule. The dog isn't my problem, and it will not affect my life. 3. The dog stays in their crate if my roommates aren't home. I don't trust them to get a decent dog, and I don't want to be looking around every corner. One month later, my roommates disregard the 3rd rule, and their untrained dog runs wild. I was leaving for work today, and as I opened the door to leave, the dog nearly knocks me over (blech) and jumps out the door and Usain Bolt's to freedom. I just locked the door behind me and left. As I said before, I'm on a tight schedule, and when I'm going, I have to GO. I wasn't able to text my roommates about it until I got to work, and they apparently are pissed that I just let him go. They are at work and their parents' house, and nobody has started looking yet. I don't think this is on me. I told them I didn't want a dog. I told them my terms. I had to go and didn't even have a minute to spend, let alone the hours I'm sure they expected me to put in. AITA? ######

YTA. It took me less than a minute to type this. "Dog got loose, you need to come and catch him"...still less than a minute Still less Still less Still less Minute up! ######

This actually happened a long while ago but we recently saw each other again and she was really angry at me and when I asked around, this came up. So I was in a pretty complicated 'situationship' with this girl, Samantha (fake name). We never dated or were much friends but we regularly hooked up and chilled together in our group. Used protection but she got pregnant nonetheless. She said I was her only sexual partner and I believed her. We ended things pretty awkwardly a few weeks later but agreed to co parent what was going to be our child. Long story short, when she was around 2 months she was in a car accident and the baby didn't survive it. At the time I was overseas visiting my dad and uncles'. I wasn't that attached yet but I was a bit upset about it. Anyways, I guess I only really asked her how she was when she messaged me telkingme about it and that was the last time we spoke. That trip also kind of progressed into a move and job at my uncle's place and I only recently came back to visit my mother when I saw Sam again. So yeah, apparently I was an asshole for not comforting her or caring enough to ask how she was and just leaving her. We'd already 'broken up' at that point so i don't think I was that much of an asshole. AITA? ######

YTA. It takes two to make a child but she ended up having to go through the painful process all by herself. I hope you apologized properly. ######

I divorced a few years back, I had daughter(Jenny) and one son from my past marriage. Her mother and my childrens did not take our separation well. They hates my wife(Lisa) also they kind of banished her from all family functions. Lisa and Jenny were once best friends, I never thought I will fall for her but it just happened and after 3 years we are still going strong despite our age difference. Jenny is getting married soon with her boyfriend. Yesterday,she calls me to tell me she is planning the wedding, hoping that I will chip in some money. I told her I’d like to help to but only if Lisa is invited. She was not ok with this and she would prefer if I only come alone. I said that I’m okay with her choice but in that case I am not going to help her financially. I will not pay for wedding my wife is not invited. My brother thinks I'm being selfish TA for not helping her. ######

YTA. It must be unbelievably weird for your daughter to have to deal with you being married to a former friend of hers. It’s totally unsurprising that she doesn’t want your wife (I wouldn’t use the term ‘step mother’ when they are so close in age - your wife clearly did not do any mothering for your daughter) there on the day, making her feel awkward on her wedding. You’re trying to use money as emotional leverage to push her into making a decision she isn’t comfortable with on her wedding day for your benefit. That’s just not good behaviour from a dad. You made a decision with consequences when you chose to date a friend of your daughter’s. This is one of those consequences. It’s unfair of you to try and buy your way out of dealing with that consequence at the expense of your daughter’s happiness on her wedding day. ######

Me (34f) and my spouse (34M) have been together for several years, always talked about having kids.  But tbh the current situation due to the virus that won’t be named has made me completely change my mind.  Our dogs wake me up before my alarm daily to be fed and now that I WFH I’m ALWAYS around them. It’s exhausting.  I can’t imagine kids being worst bc it’s already at the bottom. Even tho having kids has been my spouse’s dream, I just can’t any more.  I restarted my birth control last month and I haven’t told him yet. Honestly, I don’t really feel like I need to tell him (we don’t consult each other on starting/stopping other medications).  We just got kittens, too so the terrible twos are around the corner. I really feel like I’m getting the parent experience from our pets anyway. We’ll revisit the kids conversation at some point, but I feel like it would be better to wait until after quarantine.  AITA for deciding not to have human children and restarting my BC? ######

YTA. It is totally fine to not want kids, to have doubts or want to alter the plan due to current events. It is not okay to change a life plan and keep it a secret from your husband. This is his life you are changing too. You know your “we don’t consult each other about other meds” argument is bullshit, if he starts taking allergy meds that doesn’t change the course of both your lives. If you just talked to him about this and communicated then all this drama could be avoided. Also, based on how you conduct yourself - you are right, you’re not ready to be a parent. ######

I don't think my MIL likes me very much. She seems like she tries to hide it, but i can tell she isn't happy to have me for her DIL. My husband comes from a very traditional southern family, with a long line of pageant queens and housewives. GMIL was both and clearly looks down on me. MIL and GMIL (her MIL, not her mom) are very close and sometimes if feel like GMIL is MIL's attack dog. I recently found out that MIL hosted a birthday lunch for GMIL and invited all of the women in the family except me. My husband said i shouldn't confront her, because she isn't obligated to include me, but i confronted her anyway. MIL said GMIL specifically asked her not to invite me, because she finds my political beliefs offensive and she thinks I've been rude to her husband, though MIL looked like she really enjoyed telling me this. I told her that i think she should have refused to host the party. MIL said that we were obviously raised differently, but she respects her elders and would never dream of refusing her MIL. I insisted that she should not have excluded me and MIL said i was making her uncomfortable with my begging and she was done with the conversation. ######

YTA. It is hurtful to be excluded but insisting she shouldn't have hosted the party was an AH move, as was pursuing the topic. ######

Been dating for 4 months now and honestly one of the things I find attractive about her, is her voice. However that's most likely fake and a tone that she keeps up. My girlfriend's native language isn't English . She speaks another language too. I only speak English and can understand a bit of Spanish. I barely hear her talk in her own language but for the past week or so. She's been talking in her language more often as her brother came to town and they've been planning to meet and call often. I notice that she sounds different when she speaks her language and her voice isn't as high pitched or cute. I thought maybe I was being weird so I tried to listen to her whenever she spoke and it's true. She's faking it so I called her out and told her that it's okay she can speak in her actual tone and doesn't need to fake it anymore for me. Instead she got pissed and called me an asshole telling me that's how she sounds when she speaks English. she's not responding to my texts and is ignoring me. I've always respected her tbh..never hurt or did anything bad and she just doesn't wanna talk now. AITA? ######

YTA. It is completly normal that the voice and even the main character changes while speaking different languages. You just assumed and called her out without knowing shit. ######

My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and we decided to move in together. Since she already owns a house, I moved in with her. Before I moved in, I made it clear that I rather it just be the two of us in the house and that I didn’t want her son to continue living with us. She was pretty blasé about this and was like “yeah, yeah, he’ll move out”. Her son is an ADULT, but he lives with her because she more or less enables him. He’s not a NEET, but he is very lazy and seems to take advantage of his mom I moved in a month ago, and her son is still there. She told me to “see” if I felt comfortable living in the house with him. At first, I tried living with her son. But honestly, I hate it. I just want to be able to sit on the couch and be intimate with my girlfriend without a grown ass man walking in. Plus he is just a little asshole and expects his mom to do his laundry and wash his dishes, even though he’s grown. I told my GF I don’t want to live with him any longer and she started to cry, saying she wanted to get him out the house for a while and that she’ll talk to him. At dinner yesterday, he “confronted” me and said GF never brought this up before me... but I was just empowering her to say how she’s been feeling for a while. My GF is very sensitive and beats around the bush, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she’d wanted him to move out. We argued, and he called me an asshole and other profane things while I tried staying calm and reasoning with him. My GF has no idea what to do, and she’s bad at picking sides so I wanted to make this post to help her get more perspectives. I might be an asshole for “separating” a grown man from his mom, but I also think I’m just helping my GF. AITA? ######

YTA. It is completely reasonable for a 20 year old to still live at home. You’re being ridiculous and entitled. ######

My husband and I have been married now for over 10 years. We had our wedding in my home country although at the time we were both living in the US. In my home country there are certain customs that people follow in the wedding speeches. A couple of weeks before the wedding my dad gave my husband a book of examples detailing the customs to help him write his wedding speech. Basically, the groom is supposed to thank people and compliment the bridesmaids. We were giving out thank you gifts to my family members who had planned and thrown the wedding for us. So this was sort of a big deal for my husband to get right. Well, he did the thanking part perfectly. Got everything right, it all went very smoothly. However, he forgot, in his speech, to mention me AT ALL. The book did not tell him to compliment the bride, say how much he loves her and so forth. That was taken as given - the groom should want to do that regardless. For the most part I don't care, I think it's funny. But he regrets it - both because it represents an imperfection in his speech (he went on to become a professor and teach public speaking among other things) and partly because he hates to have let me down (maybe?). I take every opportunity to poke fun at him and remind him that he didn't pay me a single public compliment at our wedding. He hates that I do this. But he didn't mention me in his wedding speech! Am I the asshole, should I stop? ######

YTA. It has been ten years. It is time to move on and let this “joke” go. ######

My ex and I were together in 2014 and we split because I made a mistake and cheated. He ended up getting with another girl so I went over there to get my things and it escalated a little and a tv was broken. She left him after that and we got back together in 2018. Some other things happened and we split again. Now here in 2020 I was looking on his Facebook and saw he was getting married and had a baby on the way. That really hurts me as we had two miscarriages together and now he’s having a child. So I called him five times in a row with no answer. Well about five minutes later a call comes up with his name. However it was a woman who asked me what I wanted so I told her I was coming back to my house to get my things that I left. She questions me how long we have been separated and I tell her a few years but I still have things at the house. She tells me that I’ve had time to come get the items and that (fiancé) says that there is nothing there for me and if I step foot on the property that the police will be called and that I have no business coming to their house. It was my house with him. I told her I have every right to come get my things even if it’s been a few years. They are still my items. I told her to mind her business and I’ll just talk to (fiancé) when I get there and she says “no you won’t, you’ll talk to me and a police officer, don’t call him again.) and hangs up. I called my family who tell me that I’m the AH in this situation and to leave them alone but I called him to go get my things not talk to some girl he knocked up and moved in. AITA? ######

YTA. It *was* your home; it isn't anymore. Anything that is still there that you hadn't collected over the past couple of years are obviously not important items. Unfriend the guy on Facebook and get some therapy. ######

My daughter (33f) and I (51f) have a pretty strained relationship. We were out of touch for a number of years but have recently tried to start over fresh. She left home when she was at 17 to join the army. I was going through a separation, and then divorce, from her father. Before leaving, she was very unruly and hard to handle. So her father and I decided to sign her up for the army since she was underage. I still had a 16-year-old son at home to raise as well. I told her that, due to her behavior, signing her up for the military was all felt I could do. I also mentioned to her that her behavior was the cause of my marriage falling apart. Her father was having an affair and didn't want her around. After her time in the army, our contact was sparse. She has come back into my life with children and a husband of her own. I see her making a lot of the mistakes I made my children with her own. I think it is important that I remain in her life to help her make better choices. She has been resistant but overall it is OK. One big sticking point is that she wants to be called by her first name. Growing up, we called her her middle name. She began going by her first name in the military and now goes by it all the time. To me she isn't her first name, she is her middle name, and I have having a hard time adjusting. I don't think it is a big deal if I call her the middle name out of habit. ######

YTA. Is this a joke and are you a troll? You’re the biggest asshole ever. Sent her off to the army, blamed her for YOUR failing marriage? And she has still somehow let you back in your life and you cannot address her the way she wants? Damn lady not only are you an ass but I highly doubt you can “help her make better choices.” Lol. Do some soul searching. ######

My MIL is pretty narcissistic and I did not marry the golden child. She blatantly favors her older son and she is always condescending towards my husband because of financial issues. SIL (married into the family, not her daughter) and MIL are extremely close, like they go on girls weekends pretty frequently, on family vacation they stay up drinking together and sometimes sleep in the same bed, they play with each other's hair, and in my opinion the most uncomfortable thing was when SIL tried to pull off our MIL's bikini top as a joke. We had family dinner for FIL's birthday last night and after dinner the two of them were laying in the hammock together, I wish I was kidding, sharing a lollipop. I told them that their relationship is creepy as hell and my MIL immediately started saying that I'm jealous and bringing up our money issues. Now my husband is furious with me for saying anything. ######

YTA. Is their relationship creepy? Absolutely. Is okay to start drama with a narcissist? No. ######

I will keep this short. I live with my girlfriend, we see eachother everyday. Fridays and Saturdays I meet with the boys. That could be for drinking in town, in one of their houses, or just gaming etc. Less so with the current world situation, but we manage to keep it clean and socially distanced. Now, every so often, she will try and say something like "I'm claiming you on the last weekend of the month" and this is usually before I have concrete plans with the boys, but if something comes up I will go with them. This has lead to many arguments because I can't understand why she can't just pick a Wednesday or Sunday. Like...we live together. We don't have to meet up at the weekend or anything. We can do stuff anytime. This time she actually cried, saying it wasn't about the fact that we can do something at anytime, it was about the fact that I never choose her over them. But...if they were to ask me to do something on a Wednesday and she had made plans with me, then I would choose her. So I'm feeling lost. AITA for refusing to give my weekends to her as she could have any other day? ######

YTA. Is she your girlfriend or your flatmate? ######

My wife and I live in a three bedroom home. We probably will move sooner or later but not for a few years, so in the long run these problems will get resolved before too long. One of the two spare bedrooms (my hobby room) is about 33-50% larger than the other spare bedroom. My wife wants me to move my hobby stuff out of the larger room and into the smaller room so the nursery can be the larger room. The problem with this is that the hobby room is set up exactly the way I need it. I even built work benches in the room for my projects. The other problem is that there is no way I can fit all of the stuff in my hobby room into the smaller room, so that means it will need to be stored in the garage or in a storage unit. That is not only inconvenient but it is impracticable. There is no reason why the smaller room won't work for the nursery. It is easy enough to order furniture and base our design on the size of the room so that we have everything we need. We have had many conversations about this but I haven't changed my mind and don't see it changing unless I am out of line. She is trying to turn it into a referendum on how I feel about her or the baby, so she thinks I am being selfish/assholish. But she still hasn't explained to me why the nursery needs to be that large. AITA? ######

YTA. Is she planning on having a glider chair for the baby? Maybe a corner for breastfeeding at night? If you aren't moving for a few years is there going to be another area for a playroom or is the bedroom going to be it? A baby doesn't need much room but a toddler could use a real bedroom. I'm 6 months pregnant and I have a feeling no matter what "facts" you tried to throw at it me it wouldn't stop the feeling that you are literally saying your hobby and annoyance at having to move stuff is more important than having a super nice area for the baby I've been growing. The nursery is literally the only thing I feel like I can control. I want to make it a beautiful space for my child and for me. I don't know what's coming in terms of birth (like zero idea... do you know how terrifying that really is??) or what it'll be like in the following month or what challenges my son will face, but being able to pick out the colours and furniture and little touches to his nursery make me feel better and like I can at least give him something special that way. Yeah, the baby doesn't need much right away and might not even sleep in there at first, but I want him to have to the best and I feel like I'd be failing him if I can't even get my shit together enough to make sure he has a perfect little space of his own. I'm so scared of birth and what if I die? And I'm scared I'm not ready to be a parent and will fuck him up. But at least I can work on the nursery and have control over that. And yet here you are trying to tell your wife how hard it is for you to give up a room that is massively larger and nicer because it is more important for your fucking guns to have the best space than for your own child. You're being an asshole. ######

Throwaway account. My best friend had asked me if I was available one night and if I was could I pick her up from a party as she didn’t have a lift and felt really uncomfortable being in a uber or taxi late at night. I said of course I would pick her up. Later that night my boyfriend texted me asking to hang out. So we did. I totally forgot about my friend and it wasn’t until I looked at my phone and saw her various texts and missed calls. She got home safe in the end because her BF brother woke up to pick her up. I apologised a lot and she seemed to have accepted the apology but her texts were really dry..? My bf said that she shouldn’t have been drinking if she knew she didn’t have a lift home and that I shouldn’t really worry about her lack of responses... AITA in this situation? ######

YTA. Intentionally or not, you ditched a friend. Your boyfriend is also an asshole. “Shouldn’t have been drinking if she didn’t have a ride home.” She did have a ride home, you, who ditched her. ######

My daughter is eleven and at her school they were having an event where they could dress up as a character from their favorite movie. She told me she wanted to dress up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I told her wouldn’t it be kind of immature for a sixth grader to dress up as Belle. On Thursday (the day before the event) I suggested loads of things she could have been but she turned them all down so she ended up not going as anything and when she came back from school on Friday she was furious that I didn’t let her dress up. She said she had everything prepared and she told a girl at school about this and she was on my daughter’s side. I then asked her if she’d really say that Beauty and the Beast is her *favorite* movie. Even though it’s Saturday now, I can tell she’s still upset at me because of this. I really don’t think it’s a big deal but I do think I legitimately hurt my daughter’s feelings. ######

YTA. In what world is an eleven year old too mature for Beauty and the Beast? ######

My (26f) boyfriend (26m) decided to throw a party with a good amount of his friends and family. We had been together at this point in time for eight months. He spoke of his siblings often and positively so I was excited to meet them. At the party I met a couple of the last remaining friends of his I haven’t been introduced too. As well as his 24 year old brother who is autistic, though I did not know that at the time ! I was talking to one of his friends that I’m not too familiar with, and she brought up a story about an autistic child who passed away a couple years ago as it was related to the protests going on. I then said that was tragic and that I hope they come up with a way to do prenatal testing for autism, so that people don’t have to suffer with it in the future.My boyfriend’s brother heard this conversation and came over to us who, again I did not know was autistic. He was very angry and called me a eugenicist in front of everyone, and said that he hoped that prenatal testing never existed because of people like me. I felt embarrassed with this happening in front of everyone else and left. I later asked my boyfriend why he didn’t tell me his brother had autism, because I wouldn’t have said anything like that if I knew. He said he shouldn’t have had to tell me because I shouldn’t hold those beliefs at all. He said it was very disappointing knowing that I thought like that and that I owed his brother an apology and a renunciation of my views. I disagreed and after a little bit of squabbling he just said let’s forget about he whole thing. The reason why I’m asking now is that I saw his brother yesterday and he still won’t talk to me for more than a few sentences, which is progress but far too slow for my taste, so maybe I should apologize. AITA for saying what I said ? ######

YTA. If you'd feel bad about saying something depending on who's in the room, there's a good chance you shouldn't say it at all. Not to mention the fact that you think the brother is "too slow" to forgive you for **saying he never should have been born**, and you haven't even apologized yet. ######

Throwaway as my son browses Reddit I have a son and daughter who are both in high school. Both the kids are in grade 9 we adopted my daughter. My son this year has done pretty well and scored one b. My daughter on the other hand struggled this year and got c and b. So today during lunch my son wanted to tell me he got an a in his ap class. I knew this would upset my daughter and I told him he can't speak about his grades during lunch. He was angry. So after lunch I tried asking my son what he got in class he said why do you want to know, you did not want to know the first time why should I tell you the second time. My husband told me that I should have let my son speak during the table because daughter was eventually going to here from her brother what grades he got. My husband also told me I have to stop protecting our daughter because eventually she is going to here people got better grades than our daughter. aita for not wanting my son to talk about his grades in front of his sister. ######

YTA. If you shelter your kids they will think they are the best in the world. That is a bad attitude. Your daughter can hear that your son performs better in school. ######

My husband and I (60s) had already made arrangements to keep our 10yr old granddaughter (Lauren-not her real name) for 2 weeks this summer. This isn't new. Her and our daughter, her mom (D), have lived with us off and on for financial reasons and the father isn't at all involved. We are very close with Lauren. And D lets us know she appreciates the bond we have with our granddaughter. The issue is D has changed her mind about letting Lauren come visit us (in a different state where we live and they used to live) at all. She said after going to therapy she doesn't want to continue to sweep some things from her childhood under the rug anymore and wants us to own up to a lot of things. She said she deals with the negative impact of her childhood every day and has been working hard in therapy. She is very angry at me for fostering the negative relationship she and her siblings always had with their father (until they were 18 and older and he lightened up). I basically made him out to be a bit of a monster to keep them in line. He was home every single night and worked hard for us but I agree, was completely emotionally unavailable. He treated them more like maids than his actual children, even calling them "dishwashers" instead of their actual names sometimes. We ask Lauren to do chores sometimes but we really do treat her like a princess. The issue almost seems like we treat her too well! D said we shouldn't be rewarded with all this time with her daughter when we won't own up to a lot of things in her and her siblings childhood. I actually don't totally disagree with her but my husband is much more oblivious. I don't think we can own up to what she wants us to own up to. She mentioned WAY MORE than what I've told you here, but it hurts to admit it and I'm not sure of the word count I'm allowed here. I had a horrible relationship with my mother growing up but I got over it and now we have a great relationship! Is she the AH or are we? ######

YTA. If you owe your daughter an apology for her childhood, you should give it. Your relationship with your own mother has nothing to do with your relationship with your own daughter. As far as wanting to spend time with your granddaughter, that’s all well and good, but her mother gets to decide whether or not that happens. ######

I (31M) was at a friend’s place with my wife (30F). We were a group of people and were talking about salaries. To provide some context, the salaries in my part of the world have doubled over the past year (before Covid )and are much higher than from when I graduated 8 years ago. We were discussing the increase in salaries and I heard my wife give a range of salaries which was very high. I misunderstood her to be talking about salaries from 8 years ago and piped in saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. She stayed quiet and the conversation moved on to other things. She actually was talking about figures for previous year before jump. On coming home, she was very upset and said that I discredited her in front of everyone and was rude. I disagree because I didn’t know the context. So AITA ? ######

YTA. If you had been right, that still would have been a rude and demeaning way to say it. Given that you were wrong, you're an asshole x 10. Maybe don't be so quick to assume your own wife isn't speaking knowledgeably? ######

My fiancé (21F) and I (21M) have a baby and dog. My girlfriend lives with me and takes care of the baby working part-time. I work full time and pay all the bills. I wanted her to get an abortion when she was pregnant but she insisted on keeping the baby. Before she got pregnant she had just adopted a dog I didn’t want either. When I get off work I like to relax and play PC or XBOX games. I feel it’s her job to walk the dog and care for the baby since they are hers and I told her from the start I wouldn’t take care of them. I pay all the bills for them too and when she works her mom watches the baby or if I’m off I wait for her to get home to take care of them. AITA? I told her and was very upfront that I didn’t want a dog or baby and now she’s acting like I’m a bad person for not wanting to take care of them even though I pay for all their expenses. ######

YTA. If you don't want to be in your baby's life you need to break up with your **fiancée** and start paying child support. ######

My husband and I are selling our house, and we were touring a woman and her husband who are getting ready to start a family. They offered a full cash offer, and it was right at what we were selling the house for, however, they were talking about making so many renovations. For example, the wife looked in the kitchen and said “I wish there was an island in here, but we can figure that out”, there are 2 smaller bedrooms in the home right next to each other and she talked about knocking the wall down to make one big room. The whole time I just felt upset because this was the home my parents built and my kids grew up in and I made sure to never make significant changes because I did not want to destroy their hard work. When they were leaving I said we’ll keep in touch , I called the couple later that night and told them we’ll be moving on to a different buyer. I told my husband that I’m not interested in them purchasing our home. He thought I was joking until I explained my reasoning. He said I was too attached to this house, and that If I was going to have so many specifications on the buyer then he’s going to choose himself. He called the couple back today and they said they found a new house but to thank the both of us. He was livid. He started going off about how it’s taken so long for us to find someone to actually pay the full price, especially with a full cash offer, but now we’re either going to have to settle or wait forever to get a buyer like that. I told him no amount of money is going to make me okay with the destruction of my childhood home. Now he’s angry, and won’t talk to me, unless he absolutely has to AITA? ######

YTA. If you don't want it changed don't sell it. Any other attempt to control what some one does with the house they spent their money on makes you the asshole 100% Added assholery for if you have had the house on the market for awhile ######

I(25) have a girlfriend (23). She most of the time refuses to leave me alone and will not give me time to myself . Whenever i come from work , she'll always sit with me till dinner and won't let me play video games or watch TV in peace. She would insist on coming when i meet my friends .I've requested her many times to give me some private time. So one day i told her i was going for a business trip to Paris (we live in Nice). Actually me and my friends had planned to go to Zurich and hang out at the house of a friend who lived there.I told my girlfriend to go to her parents house which was nearby till i came back. We reached Zurich and enjoyed the first 3 days of our trip till she found out that i was in Zurich through a friend who accidentally posted it on Instagram and forgot to hide it from her. Now she is mad at me and when i returned she made me sleep on the sofa and refuses to speak to me .AITA? ######

YTA. If you can't stand her then don't be with her. Lying is not an effective adult way of handling this situation. You are too old for this. ######

My 25 year old son has been married for about two years. I thought he was making a mistake, but we don't have the type of relationship where I can say that to him. My ex wife did tell him that she thought he was going to regret it but he brushed her off. They have a lot of marital issues and now they have financial issues because of her "career" My DIL considers herself a fashion designer. She doesn't have any investors, money, business knowledge, etc. All she has is designs she posts on social media and nothing comes of it. She works at a call center while doing this as a hobby. My wife is 29, so not that much older than my son and they do not get along. He stopped coming home from college breaks when I started dating her and things have not improved much. My wife doesn't work. We don't have children, and I pay for a cleaning lady. My DIL makes a lot of comments about how it must be nice and asks what she does all day. My wife is a very traditional housewife, brings me a beer when I get home from work, always has dinner on the table at six, and still dresses nice for me. My DIL has made demeaning comments about how she would be embarrassed to be my wife. My wife would be embarrassed to tell people she was a designer and not be able to back it up, but to each their own. My son and DIL were over the other day and I asked my wife to make me coffee. She got up to do it and my DIL said something about does it bother you that he treats you like the maid. I replied that at least my wife doesn't have to wear fake jewelry to go with her fake career. My DIL got upset and left and my son is pissed. ######

Yta. If ya'll are going to post fake, creative exercises on here, can you at least write something original? ######

My daughter is currently in her second year of college and has all around been doing great, making me and her father very proud. Because of the insane cost of tuition (almost $40 thousand a year) and the fact that we run a fairly successful car rental business, we agreed that as her parents we'd cover up to three quarters of that, contingent upon her grades, with lower grades earning less aid (roughly equal to $8 thousand per point of GPA). This has worked great for everyone, but now we have a problem. My daughter has a beautiful name both me and her father took great pains to choose well, and it's a lovely mark of our heritage. Unfortunately, apparently basically nobody she knows can pronounce it properly, even after hearing it spoken over and over again. According to my daughter, English just doesn't have some of the sounds the name does, and so English speakers just don't know how to say it. So she wants to change it. To Michelle. **Michelle!**. This makes me furious. We've already had to sully the written form of her name by transcribing it into English lettering (good luck finding any official documentation that allows for non-English letters!), and now she wants to throw it away completely! So I've told her that if she changes her name, our aid deal is null and void. We'll still be her parents, but we won't donate big sums of money to someone so disrespectful. She had a melt down and said all sorts of horrible things, but I think she's just deflecting. Can't we choose how to spend our money? ######

YTA. If the name doesn’t suit her she has every right, you being petty and punishing her for displeasing your is a major AH behavior. She’s not entitled to your money, but if you’re going to be so petty she’s better off not accepting any help from you ever. Now that she knows it’s all conditional. ######

I have this co-worker who is very overweight. They are constantly taking breaks during the workday because they are tired from the hard work it takes to keep our store stocked with product. She obviously doesn't take care of herself, and eats garbage. Everyday around 9 am i can hear her crack open a nice cold soda to wash down her doughnuts. Now, don't get me wrong, i enjoy a nice doughnut and soda as much as the next person, but only every once in awhile. However, when someones physical health is taking a tole on other co-workers, and myself, it's pretty annoying. The other day she asked to take yet another break to rest her legs for a few minutes, which usually I don't have an issue because we are allowed several breaks plus lunch. However, she always takes more breaks than she should and never finishes projects that are assigned to her because she is in such bad shape. So I told her that look, we're all sick of picking up your slack, and if you took better care of yourself and lost a lot of pounds you'd be much better off. She reported me to the manager and now I am being written up. Am I The Asshole for telling her to lose weight? ######

YTA. If someone is being unproductive, raise it to a manager to deal with. Don't make rude and unnecessary remarks about someone's weight. ######

My (23M) best friend (23M) bought a house, i moved in and pay him 'rent' every month to cover part if the bills. I have been with my girlfriend (21) for 5 years and she has pretty much always lived with me at my mums and didn't pay rent (she does have a full time job) because she wants to save money. When i moved in she was coming over alot and now she is here almost all of the time. My mate has asked me to get her to start covering some of the bills like 3 way split since extra is being used with 3 people being here. I said no since I dont see why she should have to since she never paid rent before and i know if i ask her too she will leave and go back to her parents which i dont want. Also my mate has a girlfriend who lives here for weeks at a a time when she isn't at Uni and she doesn't have to pay rent so why should my girlfriend? He has now said if she doesnt start paying some money towards the house then she won't be allowed over more than 2 nights a week. So reddit AITA? ######

YTA. If she's essentially living there she should be contributing financially if she can afford to, or YOU should cover her rent and utility usage if she cannot. Your friend owns the house and is well within his rights to ask for her to contribute. ######

My gf and I both work full time but I do longer hours. We live 5 mins from her work so she only has a short commute and can leave pretty much just before she starts at 7:30, and she finishes at 4:30 so is home by 4:40 at the latest. I have a 1 hr commute each way. I leave at 6:30am for a 7:30 start, and I do 10-12 hr days depending on my work load. Most of the time I get home around 6-7pm, sometimes as late as 8-8:30pm. My girlfriend has always been the one who cooks dinner, since she is home way earlier than me it only makes sense, otherwise we’d be eating too late. It’s been this way for ages and she has never once said anything about it until now it is suddenly an issue. She‘d been complaining that I never cook dinner and is expecting me to start sharing the load to give her a break (her words). I don’t see why I should have to come home and cook dinner when she’s already been home for hours. She argued that she spends this time cleaning the house and catching up on chores, which then sparked a debate on how I apparently never do general household duties. I admitted I don’t do as much as her around the house during the work week for the simple reason is that I’m not home as much as she is. How can I do all of those chores when I’m away at work for 12+ hours? I said she has it easy with her standard 40 hr work week and no commute which made her angry. For the past week the only things she offers to ‘cook’ are tinned spaghetti, toast, or packet noodles. I refused to eat and one night got take out for myself instead while she had peanut butter toast. On the third night I got jack of it and said she was being ridiculous for refusing to cook. She told me I’m being sexist for expecting to come home to a proper cooked meal. She later told her coworkers and friends about our talk who apparently all agree that I’m a jerk for my expectations and reasoning for not cooking. AITA? ######

YTA. If she wasn’t there or you lived on your own would you starve? No you would make an effort to feed yourself. It’s really rude that you think just because she has a “standard 40hr work week” she should sub in as your housekeeper as well. ######

This just happened and I’m so mad so forgive any errors! Today I have an important check up with the ENT as last week I had an ear infection (last year I had to have surgery on a ruptured eardrum so any further infections are taken v seriously. I think this one has healed up ok but need the ENT to properly assess). My husband was getting up at 9 to go grocery shopping so I asked him to get me up at the same time. He agreed. I remember saying that if it was 9.10 that was ok but I wanted to be up early as I take a medication to help me sleep and it often takes me a while to become properly awake and alert in the morning and I wanted to be on form for my appointment. Instead this morning I woke up naturally (thank god!!!) at 9.45. He was just getting home from getting the shopping and I was just just baffled and mad. His explanation? That he’d heard me say 9.20 (ok, not too bad) and then when he came in to wake me at 9.20 I wouldn’t wake up (this happens sometimes cos of the meds) so he thought he should try again once we had some milk for tea (ie after he’d done the shopping). I was just like WHAT!! Why would you leave me for longer when you know I have a crucial appointment??? He was kind of sorry but also a bit defensive, and stuff like this has happened before, he has diagnosed ADHD and can have these kind of executive functioning issues (ie not able to think through a plan properly). I am still really mad but also feel I behaved badly, ie I yelled when I know he gets upset by yelling. So reddit AITA? ######

YTA. If my partner behaved this way after I’d already tried getting them out of bed, I’d simply stop helping them and leave them to it. I’m happy to help but it is not my responsibility to get them out of bed so they can make their appointments. Same goes for your man - who actually sounds quite lovely - he’s not your mum. He’s your man. Treat him like it. You made your issue with getting out of bed his problem. You then shouted at him for failing to *force* you to get out of bed all whilst he was trying to get stuff done, so he could make tea. And to top it off, you put this on him knowing he has a hard time with planning and shouts at him knowing it’s upsetting to him. I mean, you really gotta ask? If I were you, I’d go kiss that lovely ass man of yours, apologize, tell him you appreciate him and then buy whatever loud sounding/vibrating/fire truck alarm device you need to get out of bed. ######

So my wife is extremely into beauty & skincare. It’s a benefit for me because it means she’s really good looking and takes good care of herself. She buys a lot of beauty products (her money) and they take up a lot of space in the bathroom. This doesnt bother me because skincare belongs in the bathroom. Recently I went to the fridge to get a beer and noticed a glass vial in there. I asked my wife about it and she said it’s some kind of facial oil. I told her it doesn’t belong there. She rolled her eyes and walked off. Now it bothers me when things aren’t in their right places. The fridge is for food. Period. Not skincare. I don’t wanna accidentally grab her oil one day thinking it’s like salad dressing or something and eat it. I moved it to the bathroom and that night she saw it and was pissed. Apparently it was expensive and needs to be refrigerated after opening and was supposed to be kept away from sunlight (I put it on the windowsill with her other stuff) She wants me to replace it but I don’t think I am wrong plus I told her it didn’t belong in the fridge AITA? I just don’t think it’s safe to have non food items in food spaces. Thanks. ######

YTA. If it needs to be refrigerated it belongs in the fridge. She could have told you that but you also could have asked/read the bottle. Lots of beauty products go in the fridge, it’s quite normal. ######

I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend Jean (21F) for about a year now. Part of what I love about her most is that she is so supportive of me. I'm stuck in a dead end job, really unhappy with where I am in life currently so getting to hear her talk me up and tell me how awesome I'm doing is probably one of the few things that actually gets me through the day. When she tells me I'm great, I call those 'power words' cause knowing someone as hot, successful, and cool as she is thinks I'm doing good really gets me fired up. Recently, we got together with a zoom meeting with some of our friends. One of our friends, Trish, was mentioning that she was nervous for a driving exam, so Jean was trying to reassure her. Which would be fine, except she used the exact phrasing she uses when she's powering me up. I got really upset and stayed quiet for the rest of the movie. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her the truth. I feel like she shouldn't be wasting my power words on other people. I need them most and when she says things like oh, I think you're the most incredible guy ever!, and then goes and tells her friend that she thinks she's incredible, that's really disheartening. It makes me feel like nothing she says is real. I've got a big project at work coming up soon and now I can't get hyped because I know whatever she tells me is meaningless. I've really hurt her feelings by saying her platitudes were meaningless but I just feel betrayed. AITA? ######

YTA. If it helps, you’re one of the more incredible AHs I’ve seen in this sub. Your girlfriend sounds like she is a positive and encouraging person. You don’t have the right to try to force her to change who she is, limiting her to only being positive and encouraging toward you. ######

My friends and I were driving and came across a homeless dude. None of us had any cash on us. He looked decent enough. Didn’t look like he was on drugs or anything so I tossed him my credit card and told him to go buy food. My intention was to cancel the card after 30ish minutes I figured since he was homeless he couldn’t get online or make any large purchases within that time frame and the closest stores to our location were all relatively cheap food places where he could use the card to get a meal. He couldn’t possibly do much damage. Anyway, the homeless dude just looked confused and didn’t pick up the card. My friends said it was a weird and entitled asshole thing to do and that I was pulling a ‘power move’. I really just wanted to help out a hungry dude. AITA. ######

YTA. If I were the guy, I would definitely be skeptical that you were trying to entrap me or get me in trouble with your credit card. ######

My 16 year old son started his senior year this week. This last weekend of summer we agreed to let him go to a friends because we've been quarantined all summer along with his friend (his parents are our friends, they're serious about it). It was supposed to be just them 2 (parents are out of town) and they were supposed to be just playing video games. ​ Well..thats not what they had planned. They planned a little "get-together" with "only like 5 people." I found this out after I found the 18 pack in my fridge in the garage this afternoon. Turns out my kid stole it from the gas station and put it there until the "get-together" started a few hours later. I went to the gas station and confirmed he stole it. I paid them and made sure they didn't press charges (which cost me an extra $100). I figured this is the most expensive beer I've ever paid for...so we might as well drink it, right? ​ I parked his ass on the couch right next to me as we shared beer after beer of his stolen 18 pack. We just watched NBA games like we normally do. Except this time, I wasn't the only one drinking beers. By beer 3 he was noticeably intoxicated. He threw up at beer 7 but he still seemed coherent. My wife asked me to stop at this point, which I would have, but my son literally yelled from the bathroom, "fuck him...I'm good." By beer 9 he was throwing up again and crying for mommy. She babied him to sleep with water and snacks...then made him breakfast in bed the next morning. I told him to wake the fuck up and weed-whack the backyard. ​ We're a few days removed from this, and my wife is still really mad at me. She says this is what teenagers do, and my response was way too harsh. Apparently we should have just grounded him. ######

YTA. If a *child* is throwing up from the amount of alcohol they drank, it's time to stop. I know you wanna act all macho before your son but giving him alcohol poisoning isn't the way to go about it, neither is permanent brain damage or a coma. Just take his electronics away next time or something, or make him pay the 100 bucks, y'know, be a parent or something. ######

I know this sounds bad, but please hear me out. My son is doing terrible in school. He is barely passing most of the subjects and just failed an important math exam yesterday. I am extremely disappointed in him. The thing is, he studies, I always see him studying in his room and he did follow my rule of playing xbox only 1 hour per day during school days and 2 hours in weekends. The problem is, I am sure he isn’t studying properly. He is constantly looking at the time waiting for it to pass while daydreaming thinking about what he should do in Minecraft today or in whatever other games he plays. This is not ok, and I realized that the only way to stop this is if I no longer allow him to play on his xbox. Since he is most likely failing math and will be doing summer school I decided to donate the xbox to charity. He’s obviously upset about it and he even posted about what I did on Facebook which made me receive tons of criticism from my relatives. I made him take the post down and made him delete all his social media accounts. ​ What do you guys think? Do you think I am the asshole for giving him such a harsh punishment even though he always followed the house rules? ######

YTA. I've never personally understood the logic behind punishing children for struggling in school. If he's studying and still failing, the issue is not the xbox, and he needs assistance, not punishment. >I made him take the post down and made him delete all his social media accounts. I really hope you're trolling. Be kind to your child. ######

I am 30 and basically have nothing in common with a 20 year old but my sister-in-law might be the exact example of the stereotypical self absorbed, iPhone addicted, eye rolling gen z that older people seem to think all young kids are like these days. Shes on her 5th go around with her on-again, off-again boyfriend and is absolutely obsessed with receiving attention from ALL the boys. At any given time when you look at her phone she will have at least 50 notifications (most are messages from boys who are not her boyfriend). She is always talking about all the “hot” boys she wants to go on dates with when her boyfriend pisses her off every other day. About 2-3 times a month she will make plans with us over text and then bail 90% of the time. We have cooked her supper and bought her favourite snacks to watch movies with us several times over the years and she almost always bails and ghosts us. Anyway it’s fairly odd that she even graces us with her presence but when she does and finally attempts to be an adult I can’t help but be vengeful. She will talk about how she wants to go to school and ill say something like “you know you have to show up and put your phone down when you go to college right” or she will talk about how well her relationship is going and ill laugh and say something like “you will literally be broken up in a month again” and they do break up. She always gets super pissy with me and calls me an asshole. Yesterday she slept in till 5pm after partying all night and came down the stairs while we were having supper and I started roasting her about being pathetic and my wife told me to stop being a dick and that i need to start supporting her more. AITA here? Should i just keep my mouth shut and treat her like a baby like everyone else does or what? ######

YTA. I would bail on you too. Why would she want to spend time with you? You're an ass to her. If I were her, I wouldn't have a relationship with my sister if it meant dealing with your judgmental bullshit. ######

I have two siblings another brother and a sister. My sister is a single mom to two kids from different fathers. I'll say this of my siblings my sister has been given the most support as-is from my parents. Our parents put a down payment on her house, babysat, dad would always fix up my sister's car, house. I was having dinner with my parents and I found out that they were going to be selling their house to downsize, I was like what? Talking to them they then said that they have saved up over 220k for my nephew's college education. That they don't want them to start life with a bunch of debt. Now I know a bit about admissions for colleges since my ex-girlfriend was an administrator at a state school. And generally, children of single moms get full rides, whatever FAFSA doesn't cover the university does especially if the household income is under 65k (for our state). I told them that 99% chance that he is getting a full ride. My parents don't believe me. I eventually showed my parents proof and ones too that showed they finally believed me after a while. They got really upset with my sister they went back and forth had a fight. My sister tried to convince them that textbooks are super expensive and other costs. ​ My parents weren't having it, and they cut her off. My sister called them racist. Now my sister found out I told them and she was super angry with me. Saying that I have no business in her matters and actually deleted me off of Facebook. I don't know what to say here, I thought I did the right thing. ######

YTA. I worked in the financial aid office for my university. Low income students can have an EFC (expected family contribution) of 0; however, that just makes them more eligible for aid, which includes loans and grants--- it's not a free ride. Students have to pay back student loans and I've never heard of a grant that covers the full cost of tuition. Seriously, was the EFC your "proof"? Because you really don't understand it how it works. Also, FAFSA is an application, the federal government awards money based on the info on your FAFSA. The government isn't giving full rides to kids of single mothers ######

http://imgur.com/a/ilVacrs I'm going to cut to the chase. My 12-year-old daughter wants to get her nails done like the ones pictured above. She claims that girls at her school all have their nails done (they actually do, which I find quite distasteful and off-putting to see on a young child) and that they bully her because she is the least “mature” out of everyone. I feel like thatʼs a good thing as she shouldnʼt be rushed into growing up, she is still very young and longer nails are associated with older teenagers and women. I think that she might be lying about the bullying to get what she wants. I donʼt believe a bunch of middle schoolers would actually care about what somebodyʼs nails look like. I explained to her that even if they do say things to her, that she should ignore them because opinions from a bunch of insecure girls arenʼt worth her time. The reason Iʼm not allowing her to get her nails done is because I feel like it would make her look silly, and make me look silly as a parent for allowing it. Sheʼd look like a midget, with long nails and the height of a 12-year-old. Also, it may portray the wrong image of her because some might think that if she dresses like an adult, she behaves like an adult, too, if you know what I mean. I donʼt think sheʼs mature enough for this and it would be quite uncomfortable if someone were to see her with nails like that out in public. I personally wouldnʼt enjoy walking next to my daughter if she behaved like someone way older. The reason I am posting this here is because my daughter feels as if this is unfair and that I am “stunting” her growth. I feel like this isnʼt true, as she only has a few years to be a child and will get to be an adult the rest of her life anyway. AITA? ######

YTA. I was going to say NAH but then I read your second and third paragraphs. > I donʼt believe a bunch of middle schoolers would actually care about what somebodyʼs nails look like. Clearly you have never met any middle school girls. Bullying over petty things is most definitely a thing that happens. Often. > I explained to her that even if they do say things to her, that she should ignore them because opinions from a bunch of insecure girls arenʼt worth her time. Sure, she should ignore them, but she won't. It's still going to affect her self esteem. Which is all perfectly normal given her age. >The reason Iʼm not allowing her to get her nails done is because I feel like it would make her look silly, We all look back on our middle school fashion choices and see how silly we looked. It's practically a rite of passage, and it's not a big deal. > and make me look silly as a parent for allowing it. Sheʼd look like a midget, with long nails and the height of a 12-year-old. This is just cruel. > Also, it may portray the wrong image of her because some might think that if she dresses like an adult, she behaves like an adult, too, if you know what I mean. You're the one oversexualizing your tween daughter here. >I donʼt think sheʼs mature enough for this How do nails require maturity? > and it would be quite uncomfortable if someone were to see her with nails like that out in public. I personally wouldnʼt enjoy walking next to my daughter if she behaved like someone way older. This here is the crux of the matter, what truly makes YTA. You don't want her to get her nails done because of how it makes *you* feel. This is something you need to get over. It is her life and her body and if stupid nails are the worst she does with it then you should be thankful. ######

I’ve (36M) been with my wife (28F) for 7 years, we are currently expecting our first (she’s only 9 weeks along) **Disclaimer; this is the silliest argument I’ve ever had** Last night we were laying in bed when I noticed she had stretch marks from lower to mid back, I personally thought they were pretty, she has really smooth skin apart from the stretch marks she has on her thighs and now her back. I don’t know why but out of boredom I traced the stretch marks, bad move on my part. She asked what I was doing and I said I was tracing her stretch marks, she went silent. This morning she basically told me I shouldn’t have done that and I’m a giant AH for saying what I did knowing she was insecure about the ones on her thighs, she left around 7am and hasn’t come back since. I don’t think what I did is that serious, but, AITA? ######

YTA. I was going the other way but you called the argument stupid. That’s calling her feelings stupid. She is 9 weeks pregnant so her hormones will be having a party right now. She’ll have noticed her boobs are swollen and hurt. She knows she’ll probably get stretch marks on her stomach too so you pointing out ones she already has is going to hurt her. She is already probably having fleeting thoughts of ‘will he still love me when I’m huge and have stretch marks on my tummy/boobs/hips’. You need to seriously apologise. I know you didn’t mean to hurt her. Let’s be real though, you know no woman will be happy with their partner pointing out their ‘flaws’. Explain you love them as they are a part of her and you were just tracing them, same as you would if it was tattoo. Then grovel ######

My SIL and her husband recently had their tenth anniversary and everyone acts like they are this perfect couple. He is 22 years older than her and she married him for a meal ticket and because she was in crazy amounts of credit card debt. She used to talk so much shit about him behind his back. She would come over and say the meanest things to her brother and they would laugh at BIL behind his back. BIL treated her like a combination of a maid and a sex toy, and was kind of controlling. About a year into it things began to change. He was less of an ass, she stopped making fun of him, and now they claim they are in love. Still you can't deny that she likes his money. My daughter thinks SIL is like a legitimate princess and worships the ground she walks on. SIL mentioned they are going on vacation for their anniversary (flying because they don't give a shit about the pandemic) and my daughter was asking if she was two at the wedding did she go, and they showed her a picture of her as a flower girl. My daughter then asked something about is love at first sight real and BIL said yes, i loved her the night i met her. That concerned me so when we were alone I told him that she married him entirety for his money. BIL said that i'm an idiot and he was just trying to make a nice story for my daughter. ######

YTA. I think the BIL actually knows she married him for money and don’t really care about it. He might really like the idea of being married to someone young and beautiful. ######

Some quick context. Happily married for 4 years, 2 kids aged 6 months and 2. Wife is a SAHM. I work full-time. We split household duties pretty evenly (I do laundry, she cooks, etc.). And I help with the kids during the day (WFH due to COVID) and of course after work day is over. No complaints from me. The other day, my wife was chatting with her friends, and I overheard the other wives complaining about their husbands not helping with the children at all. One plays video games 6 hours a day. The other is a sports fanatic. It sort of reminded me that I seriously haven’t had more than a handful of moments to myself in the last 3 years since my wife became pregnant with our first. I’ve given up following all my favorite sports teams, never hang out with anyone anymore. Life just completely consumed with work and domestic life. My friends are all childless, so no help there. Got me thinking maybe I deserved a little downtime. Not much just enough to recharge. So I gently asked my wife if I could have an hour to myself each day. She flipped out. Said I was selfish. She doesn’t get time off, why should I? Called me a sexist for assuming the man could avoid childcare (preposterous since I’m doing the exact opposite now). To appease her I just dropped the issue. But feeling kind of bitter. What do other fathers do? AITA? ######

YTA. I think the "four hours of downtime" is absolutely a number you pulled out of thin air. You have two children under the age of three. They will never not need supervision at those ages. Even if the oldest goes to daycare, since you did not mention it in your list of responsibilities, I am assuming your wife is in charge of preparing everything your child needs for daycare and doing pick up/drop off. This is not down time. Grocery shopping for the family while you watch the kids is also not downtime for her. You do not get "credit" for watching your children while your wife poops, since I'm sure she does the same for you. Your wife's immediate response was if she gets no time off, why should you? A fair question. When you say you haven't had a moment to yourself since your wife got pregnant with your first, imagine what it has been like for YOUR WIFE who was ACTUALLY PREGNANT, TWICE. You are not TA for wanting some time off; you ARE TA for being massively selfish and not trying to plan for you BOTH to have some time off to yourselves. Do not sink to the level of your peers in the laziest dad competition! I think an hour a day is extremely unrealistic for the ages of your children; if I were you I would set a goal of one hour of free time a WEEK for EACH of you and go from there. Except for a crazy emergency like a kid getting sick, treat this designated time as SACRED for your partner. If your wife is having her hour of free time, YOU GOT THIS. You are superdad for that hour. Do not make her feel anything less than free to relax. Then she can reciprocate when it is your hour and you will both feel refreshed instead of resentful. ######

Hey all, My (F34) best friend's (F30) son just turned 8. I know him well and decided that he is old enough and responsible enough for his first gun. I got my first gun after all when I was 6. So I took her son out for his birthday. I took him to an empty field where I go shooting; and gave him a gift. He unwrapped it and was excited to see that it was a brand new gun! I set it up and instructed him on how to shoot. He was livid! When I dropped him home he ran excitedly to his parents. His Father was okay but his Mother was not pleased, saying that I had endangered her son. I explained to her that everything was safe but she did not want to hear it. I told her that she is being overly strict and denying her son enjoyment and learning of a key skill. She told me that I am being reckless and asked if I would give my 4 year old daughter a gun. I told her that I plan on doing so when she turns 6; and 8 by any reasonable measure is an excellent age to learn how to shoot, maybe even a little bit too late. Her husband then took me aside and told me that he will try to calm his wife down and said he really appreciated the gift and lessons. He gave me the gun back and told me that he would try to secretly bring his son once in a while for shooting practice. ######

YTA. I seriously hope you're trolling. He's not your child, and whether he's old enough for a deadly weapon is not your call. ######

This has been a half serious and half joke argument I've been having with my wife and daughter for like 3 days. I have two daughters; I paid for the entire cost of the wedding for the first one since I believe in that tradition. The problem now is my second daughter (Emma) is getting married to a woman (she's a lesbian). Now she's not very traditional as in she doesn't want anyone to walk her down the aisle and neither her or her fiancee asked the others parents permission for marriage. This isn't a problem for me since it's her wedding but it's interesting that she is picking and choosing which traditions to follow, but that's just me. She asked a few days ago, if I would be willing to contribute to her wedding (since I paid for my first daughter's (Emily)). I told her I would but I would only pay for as much as her fiancee's family since the burden is on their bride's family and there are two brides. She got annoyed at me and said that wouldn't work since her fiancee's family aren't as well to do as our family. She claimed I was being homophobic because I paid for Emily's wedding. We argued for a bit and then I told her I needed some time to think about it. My wife thinks I'm being idiot and wants to just pay for it since we can, but I'm not sure. I'm probably just going to give in since it isn't worth the effort, but am I correct on the principle of the issue. AITA? ######

YTA. I see your argument but there’s no way to swing this that won’t be seen as “I’m only paying half because you’re gay”. If you want your daughter in your life pay for the wedding. ######

My daughter recently turned 18 and her boyfriend is 20. They’ve been together for three years, and my daughter has constantly asked to stay the night at his house or have him stay at our house, and every single time I’ve said no. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to have a couple their age sleeping together. That’s how it was when I was her age, and I intend to keep it the same way for her. My daughter and her boyfriend ‘hang out’ almost every day, and my curfew for her is midnight. I usually fall asleep before she comes home, but I always see her home in the morning. She wasn’t at home this morning, though. I wake up at 6 AM to go to work, and I peeked in her room and saw she was gone. I immediately called her, she picked up and told me she slept over at her boyfriend’s house because ‘they both accidentally passed out.’ I told her to come home immediately. Her boyfriend brought her over and I grounded her, telling her she can’t see him for one week. She got extremely upset going on and on about how she’s an adult now and doesn’t see an issue if she stays over with him. She’s living under my roof and I feel disrespected that she flat out ignored my rule I’ve had set for three years now. I told my husband about this and he agrees he’s a bit uncomfortable with it, but that she’s an adult so he doesn’t really care. I strongly disagree. My daughter has been furious at me ever since and is currently giving me the silent treatment. AITA? Update: I wrote this when I was still a bit heated from the incident, and I understand the comments telling me I am indeed the AH. I’m going to try to eventually mend things with my daughter, I realize the punishment was harsh. As for the foul messages I’m getting telling me I’m better off dead, I’m very sorry you feel that way over me simply being stuck in my ways. It’s just how I was raised. I’ll try to work on it. ######

YTA. I normally don't comment but this hits so close to home because my mom is incredibly strict about dating. I was 18 and I had an 8PM curfew with my boyfriend of over two years. We were only allowed to hang out for three hours at a time. I couldn't go places with him that weren't within 15ish miles of my house. The only thing it led to was me getting creative, lying about my location, never telling her anything going on, and still finding ways to spend the night with him. I mean this with all respect: if you are trying to prevent sex/an unwanted pregnancy, this is not the way to do it. There is no rational, legitimate reason why she can't sleep over with her boyfriend. "That's just how things were at my age" isn't a legit reason. "I don't like it" is also not a legit reason. To her, it seems like you don't trust her or you think her/her boyfriend are stupid and will make bad decisions just because they are spending the night together. Please show your daughter that you respect and trust her decision making. ######

I have two daughters, Gemma (7F) and Harlyn (2F) My (31M) wife (29F) is ginger with green eyes; she can’t tan to save her life so is naturally extremely pale. I have darker skin, dark hair and dark eyes so when Gemma was born with pale skin and blonde hair and as she’s grown up a bit she looks absolutely nothing like me; she has my wife’s smile but that’s it. Harlyn however takes almost exactly after me other than her mothers eyes and there’s no question in my mind that she’s my daughter. As Gemmas grown she’s taken more after me, personality wise, and the question slipped my mind and the doubts left my mind. My wife’s pregnant again, third and final child. During a conversation about the children I was asked if I was scared to have a third daughter- I’m not. Somehow it got to the topic and I confessed my past doubts about Gemma actually being my daughter, I love her the same and she is mine biological or not, but when she was a baby I had my doubts and it stressed me out- I emphasised on the fact that the doubts left however recently and that I love Gemma. Gemma was meant to be upstairs playing with my sisters son (9) but she came downstairs and overheard, she cried for about an hour until we (me and my wife) managed to calm her down and I told her I loved her and was just being silly, she’s seemingly moved past. My wife however isn’t speaking to me and the rest of her family is *pissed* at me too, my parents insist it’s natural to have doubts. I moved past them and I was being honest with her. AITA? ######

YTA. I love when parents get a degree in genetics from YouTube and start doing this things. When in doubt get a proper test and don't do this things. Is better to be an asshole with science backing it up than being suspicious for years and letting your baby girl hear these things. ######

While I (37) was an expat in Dubai for my business, I met my current wife (27). I already had a daughter from a relationship. Her mom is not in the picture. She gave up all custody when the baby was born. I’m ethnically Middle Eastern but grew up in the US. My wife however grew up in Dubai. Culturally, Dubai is very hierarchical. It is the norm for Arabs ( which she is) to be ushered to the front of the line ahead of everybody else. People of higher perceived social ranking are served first at establishments and people not dressed in the latest fashion are glared at. It is also the norm for people to get the attention of service workers by shouting “ You!” So as a result of her high end upbringing she generally dislikes and is horrified the way people here interact with service staff. We have just hired a new housekeeper. My daughter is up my wife’s ass because she doesn’t address her by name and walks away when the housekeeper tries to crack jokes with her. She’s only here for a couple hours a day and my wife doesn’t like it when people outside the family use the bathrooms. Yesterday the housekeeper asked if she could use the bathroom. My wife said “ I’d prefer you not.” My daughter starts saying my wife asks like a slave driver and starts yelling about her classist “ bullshit.” I ended up sending the housekeeper home for the day. I told my daughter as punishment she could do all the housekeeping and that afterwards she was not allowed to hang out with her friend. AITA? My daughter was being culturally insensitive and my wife already is dealing with moving from her home. ######

YTA. I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but any culture that encourages people to treat others like shit or maybe even less than human (the help is not allowed to use the bathroom while doing their job?? That's almost dehumanizing) deserves to be challenged. Be proud of the strong morals your daughter has developed instead of punishing her. If you can't or feel that's disrespectful, at least try to be a neutral party. Even if it's just to support your daughter's willingness to stand up for other people. Plus, you are in the US now if I understand correctly. If anything, your wife is not respecting cultural differences. EDIT: if you really want to know what kind of massive AH OP is check out his other comments here, my God. ######

My wife adopted a 12 year old boy. I participated in some of the process and was enthusiastic at the beginning, but things have changed since then. We talked about summer camps and after school programs back during the adoption process, but since the pandemic the kid has been home 24/7. I start work at 7am and stop for dinner at 5pm, and then after that I have an online gaming team I have to practice with, and I'm trying to improve my painting too. Plus, I want to spend time with my wife. Since the kid is home all the time he is asking me to do things with him or explain my work to him, and it is difficult to focus at work, and on my own stuff or or my wife afterward. I brought up potentially reversing the adoption, which I believe is a legal option, to my wife. She just stared at me and won’t talk about it at all. I’ve tried to bring it up three times now. I’m not sure the exact process but I think we should talk about it before the probationary period expires. I feel like because this is not really what we expected it is not that unreasonable to have second thoughts. I read that 10-25% of adoptions are stopped at this stage so it's not extreme to think of it. ######

YTA. I hope your wife is considering undoing your marriage. ######

So my first time writing here I will try to do my best! ​ Last weekend we went to this nice lake where you could swim and have picnics and parking was absolutely packed. Our region has done really well with covid-19 and this was up north so not many people. regardless the parking was packed and we found a parking spot far away and we had our grandma with us as well. she is old and so walking isn't exactly easy for her especially in 30-degree centigrade weather. While we were finding a picnic spot a parking spot opened up right next too where we wanted too set up our picnic. I quickly stood in the parking spot to prevent another person to park in it. while my dad brought my grandma in the car. people came by and I told them we had a senior with us and they moved on. but this one couple got really mad and started arguing about how too we should park in the handicap zone (the lake didn't have one) and just swearing overall, he was holding up all the cars behind him and people were getting cheesed af. I still kept my ground until he eventually moved on. ​ I know it isn't the most climactic situation, but I am curious am I the Ass Hole? ######

YTA. I have cancer and can’t walk long distances. Often use a cane. Don’t qualify for a handicap placard. You know what we do? My wife drops me and whatever stuff we have off, then goes to find a parking spot. That’s what you should have done. You get to claim a parking spot with your body. ######

Our son is 6 and his half sister 4. They barely see each other, my ex tries get them to hang out with each other all the time for they can get to know each other. I'm against it because I don't want to throw anyone new in his life while he's so Young. My ex came to pick up his son for the weekend. I guess during this he had his daughter and planned on our son spend time together with each other. I was never told about it. Let me this clear I have no hard feelings towards the little girl because my ex has another kid with someone else. Our son has a phone were you can really only text/call and watch Netflix and YouTube. On Sunday i called him when he was with his father to just check up on. He said he was sister playing. I said sounds like fun and to call me later. The next day when I meet up with his father to pick him up, my ex says his goodbyes and has his daughter facetime saying goodbye also. "Your sister says bye also". This where I butt in and say "technically she isn't your real sister just half." My ex just shakes his head and say "don't do that". Lot of questions I had to answer carefully to my son while driving home. Then when I got home I got some more angry text from my ex saying I'm trying to pin them against each other. I just don't want them to get accustomed to each other and be sad if something happens between their parents relationship. ######

YTA. I have a half-sister whom I literally NEVER refer to as my half-sister; she’s always just been my sister. You *are* trying to pin the siblings against each other ######

I saw that it was a funny trend to sign people up for random email lists and spam them, but I decided to take this a step further because he really burnt me in the past. I went to our local church of Scientology's website and saw where you could input your personal information to receive messages from the church. Since I had most of this information from our time being together, I filled it out under his name. I did this with a few more churches of Scientology as well. I thought that this would only be a minor inconvenience with a few puzzling, harmless emails, but it turned out to be much worse. Recently, I saw that he posted on his Instagram that he was deleting all of his social media due to privacy reasons. At first, I didn't think much of it, but after a while, I started to wonder if there was any connection to what I had put in the church of Scientology's website. So out of curiosity, I later decided to bite the bullet and DM him on Instagram in the hopes that he hadn't deactivated his account. A few minutes later, he responded, saying that he needed a break from social media. Ultimately, he told me to not worry about it, and that he was going to delete his Instagram (10k followers) later that night. I figured I was off the hook. A few weeks later, I was with a mutual friend of ours, and she updated me on his situation. Apparently, him and his family had been contacted by the church of Scientology. Supposedly, they actually expressed interest. The mutual friend said the she hadn't seen him in a while and none of his friends had heard from him in over a month. She said that it seemed like he was cutting off everybody. I just received word that he's dropping out of school after the semester ends, and his family is moving to live with other church members. I know I technically signed him up for this, but I had no idea it would get this bad. He honestly deserved it after everything he did. AITA? ######

YTA. I had a "friend" who was an actual scientologist give the church my info after she confused that she had been having negative thoughts about the church due to me being anti scientology. I have been harassed, stalked, they somehow found out my email address and spamed the ever living fuck out of that email with pro-scientology propaganda. I cannot tell you how anxiety inducing it was to have the church know my address, where I worked, where I went to school, my phone number, and my email. I finally am somewhat free of their harassment but, congrats hes in a fucking cult now. I hope you can sleep at night knowing hes brainwashed and if you try and help him the church will harass you too. ######

So for context, I just graduated with a Bachelors in English Literature with the intention to move abroad to teach English as a second language. I'm starting off in South Korea because a friend of mine lived there for a few months and said I would love living there. My friend also lives in Singapore, which is where I intend to end up full-time as I love her and I want to be around her more often, she's my best friend. So, anyway, my brother and I were talking one day and I mentioned that he would need to learn how to cook the meals I make for the family whilst I am gone. He suddenly laments that I get to move away whilst he is stuck at home. I've been studying at home for 6 years and maintaining two jobs whilst he lived away to study and has only been at home for 3 years and only recently found a job. I suggested he find something that gets him out of the house and then after dinner, he asks me about the company I applied to teach abroad through and I tell him. The next day he tells me he's planning teaching English in Japan. I'm furious. Teaching has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I love teaching and even volunteered at multiple schools to make sure it was what I really wanted. I know he's entitled to do what he wants but I feel so angry that he is basically stealing something I've been dreaming about since I was small. I dont think he would be a good teacher, he has anger issues and cannot talk clearly. He has no idea what teaching English is going to be like and I am angry that I have spent the last 6 years preparing for my dream life and he has suddenly decided to do the same thing on a whim. Would I be the asshole if I told him that I dont think its cool that hes decided to copy my dream on a whim? Please be honest because I understand I sound selfish but I have had to put up with being bested by him my whole life and this is the one thing I chose for myself and its not even my own thing anymore. ######

YTA. I get your feelings, but it’s his life, and he’s not “stealing” your dream: you can still teach abroad too. If it doesn’t work out for him, it’s going to be his responsibility. Focus on you ######

So for context, I just graduated with a Bachelors in English Literature with the intention to move abroad to teach English as a second language. I'm starting off in South Korea because a friend of mine lived there for a few months and said I would love living there. My friend also lives in Singapore, which is where I intend to end up full-time as I love her and I want to be around her more often, she's my best friend. So, anyway, my brother and I were talking one day and I mentioned that he would need to learn how to cook the meals I make for the family whilst I am gone. He suddenly laments that I get to move away whilst he is stuck at home. I've been studying at home for 6 years and maintaining two jobs whilst he lived away to study and has only been at home for 3 years and only recently found a job. I suggested he find something that gets him out of the house and then after dinner, he asks me about the company I applied to teach abroad through and I tell him. The next day he tells me he's planning teaching English in Japan. I'm furious. Teaching has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I love teaching and even volunteered at multiple schools to make sure it was what I really wanted. I know he's entitled to do what he wants but I feel so angry that he is basically stealing something I've been dreaming about since I was small. I dont think he would be a good teacher, he has anger issues and cannot talk clearly. He has no idea what teaching English is going to be like and I am angry that I have spent the last 6 years preparing for my dream life and he has suddenly decided to do the same thing on a whim. Would I be the asshole if I told him that I dont think its cool that hes decided to copy my dream on a whim? Please be honest because I understand I sound selfish but I have had to put up with being bested by him my whole life and this is the one thing I chose for myself and its not even my own thing anymore. ######

YTA. I get that you feel like he's stealing your thunder. But does his deciding to apply affect your prospects in any way? No, it doesn't. Just leave it be. ######

i (46m) have a daughter (19f) who has anxiety. She was fine both socially and mentally before, but around age 12/13 something happened to her. I'm guessing its her starting high school that made her start having it, because she'd skip class constantly and fake being sick all the time. This made her social life crumble and me and her argue all the time. She currently still lives with us, doesn't have any friends or a job. She mostly spends time on the computer. She gets "panic attacks" from needing to things like make a phone call, or awnser the door. Most of this anxiety seems to come her not wanting to grow up and being scared of the world. I was first symathetic, but its gotten to the point where she's a freeloader who doesn't try to do anything. I don't hate her, but i wish she'd move out so me and my wife could have some time where we don't focus all of our time and attention on her anymore, but on each other. Yesterday, she went to a job interview and she was understandably nervous. I was too when i got my first job, and i tried to make her know she can do it. I was really happy she decided to try and become independent, and hoped this would to a chain of events making us free from her. It went great, until she called crying and said she apprently was to scared to continue the interview and ran away when she said to the interviewer she just needed to go to the bathroom. this was the last straw for me. I yelled at her saying its time to grow up and she can't let her fears control her, and she has to get a job or i'm kicking her out of the house. I was tired of letting her rule the household, just because her mind a little fucked up. She got really upset when she came home, and wouldn't talk to me. My wife (who coddles her quite alot) got really mad at me, saying to me that she needs time. AITA? ######

YTA. I get that it's frustrating but the way you talk about it is probably just making the situation worse. Putting "panic attacks" in quotation marks like that makes it seem as though you don't think they're real, and saying that her mind is fucked up is just a horrible thing to say. Those things probably make her anxiety even worse. Have you not tried finding out where this anxiety might be coming from? Or offered to help her with getting some therapy? Anxiety and depression are real, they aren't just people being silly and immature. They often have biological causes. If your daughter had a physical illness, would you treat her this way? Would you say "Yeah my daughter was meant to have a job interview but she had a 'broken leg' and couldn't go. I shouted at her to just grow up and get over her broken leg"? Probably not. But it's the same thing. Edit: I can see that you've said she has tried therapy, but how many times? Has she tried different therapists? Different treatments work for different people. ######

Keeping it short lemme know if you need more detail. We’re all mid to late 20s. Friend’s wife has an only fans account. He knows about it and is fine with it. They need the extra cash as she lost her job and his hours were cut. He found out that I, know about her only fans and am subscribed. His feelings are it’s different when “strangers” are looking vs people they know. He wants me to unsubscribe and delete anything I may have. I’m kinda resistant because I mean it’s an onlyfans account not something private that was leaked or anything. Afaik she doesn’t know I’m subscribed only him. If that matters. ######

YTA. I get it, she is making herself publicly available and you have every right to subscribe to her content. Doesn't mean you should. I think it's pretty tactless to pay money to see nude photos of your friend's wife. He asked you to stop, and I think that's a reasonable request. You don't have to listen, but don't expect the friendship to continue. It would be just as weird if you knew she was a stripper and went to the club specifically to see her IMO. ######

So my university may be introducing a new grading scheme where they lower the threshold for a passing grade. This also affects other grades as well, basically they lowered the threshold to get a passing grade due to COVID-19. But this will affect my grade as well, currently I’m getting really good grades I’m getting straight HDs which is equivalent to an A in America. But if the scheme gets introduced then it will be D which is equivalent to a b. And Ds will be CC which is slightly above the passing grade Basically they’re lowering the requirement for a passing grade usually it’s 50% but If they introduce the new system it will be 40%. I’ve recently applied to medicine, and I don’t want my grades to be lower so I voted against it. My friend hasn’t being doing so great in his course lately however and would love the threshold lowered. We had an argument and he told me I’m fucking him over, I said if he worked harder instead of partying all the time he’d get better grades. Which is true he parties a lot instead of focusing on his studies he got mad and called me a condescending selfish prick who only cares about himself. AITA ######

YTA. I dont understand how them lowering the bar for passing will lower your grade... It just means more people will pass. ######

Using a throwaway account. This is going to be a really stupid post! My daughter is 19. My daughter never liked iced coffee before this year, never but for some reason she suddenly likes coffee, she drinks a lot of it - a worrying amount, actually. In yesterday alone we got Starbucks in the morning, she got another one on her first break and another one on her second break and one on her way home, I know this because I have access to her bank account (which she’s allowed!) when I asked her later if she actually buy that many coffees she said she did. Although she seems to thinks Starbucks coffees are low on caffeine content? Can neither confirm or deny as I don’t know. Then in the time of her getting home (7pm) to her going bed (9pm) she drank a litre of coffee, I’m not sure how she’s not dead yet with that much caffeine. All this caffeine is bad for diabetes anyway. I sat her down this morning and told her I wouldn’t allow coffee into the house anymore, no matter if she bought it, I just don’t care. She threw a huge tantrum and called me a fucking weirdo for worrying about how much coffee she drinks, not true I worry about everything she eats and drinks, and that as an adult she can buy whatever she wants and bring it back home, my husband who also hates the amount of coffee she drinks agreed with her which is why I’m confused. AITA? Hopefully I made it clear enough but don’t mind answering questions. ######

YTA. I don't see how forbidding her is going to change anything. She'll just have her coffee outside of the house and the only thing you'll get from this is that she won't want to be home anymore. Yes, drinking lots of coffee isn't the healthiest but you're acting like she's on drugs. ######

(Throwaway for obvious reasons.) For some context, I (45M) have been dating this guy (42M) for around 4 years. We’ve had some pretty bad dips in our relationship, but I love him the same. He has three kids from his past marriage, two girls (16 and 12) and one boy (8M). I have my own daughter (13). She has been diagnosed with ‘’’severe” misophonia’’’ by her therapist. I personally think she’s being way too oversensitive, and I don’t trust the therapist’s judgement very well. My daughter frequently complains about various noises such as white noise or eating sounds, which is quite disruptive. I tell her to stop, but she claims she can’t help it. Anyway, the other day we were eating all together and her stepbrother was chewing with his mouth open. I have to admit, it was somwwhat obnoxious. But it is not my kid. Then my daughter tells him to “Shut [his] mouth when eating for once.” Her stepbrother tears up and I tell her to stop being rude or I will restrict her phone again. She goes quiet and continues to eat as my husband scolds her for making his son feel bad. After dinner she goes up to her room and doesn’t come out until it’s time for her to go to bed. I personally don’t think IATA. She often overreacts and this is not the first time that she acts all down just because she got the scolding she needed. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

YTA. I don't get parents who take their children to doctors and then just ... don't believe what the doctors tell them. She. Has. SEVERE. Misophonia. She shouldn't have to tell her stepbrother not to do something so disgusting that people without misphonia have trouble keeping their appetite around it. But you didn't defend her, instead you attacked her for defending herself. Jesus, learn some parenting skills. And ask her therapist how you can help her with her condition. ######

I (29M) am engaged with my fiance (26F). My coworker (30F) and I are also decently close, as in we're somewhat friends (more than coworkers, less than friends). We were talking about my engagement and I told her about the ring I bought. It is a "cheap" ring with a zirkonia stone. It cost me around €220, which I still thought was relatively expensive. To me spending half your monthly salary on a ring is just a waste of money. Luckily my fiance always agreed with me so we never had any issues about that. My coworker mentioned how she expected a ring of at least a €1000 and if her boyfriend does not proposes with a ring like that she is going to say no. So I asked her, that if she was together with someone she really loved, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and he asked her to marry her with a cheaper ring, if she seriously would say no. She laughed and said of course. That is when I said that to me she would be unmarriageable because if you care more about the ring than about the person you are going to marry, that would be a hard pass for me. She made a face and called me an asshole and that it was just her opinion. Maybe I was a bit biased because to me the whole concept of asking someone to marry you with an expensive ring and expecting only the man to make "a grand gesture" is super sexist and outdated. So I felt a bit strongly about this subject. Disclaimer: My girlfriend got me something similarly priced for our engagement because of how I feel about this. So, AITA? ######

YTA. I don't disagree with you, but an engagement ring is very personal and people are allowed to put some value in that. $1000 is not at all expensive for an engagement ring - most people would consider that cheap. The ring is an important symbol of commitment and something the woman has to wear for the rest of her life. She better like it. As long as your coworker didn't insult your ring and personal choices, you have no right to insult hers. It's fine to think an expensive engagement ring is stupid, but to tell her she's "unmarriageable" for wanting to marry someone who's on the same page about what she wants in a ring? YTA. She's not calling you trash for having a cheap ring, you don't get to insult her for having different tastes. ######

My wife has always been active on social media - more active than almost anyone else I know - and that has not changed since she got pregnant. If anything, it's worse, and the posts have gotten more frequent. Once we announced she started taking a weekly photo of her stomach to show her growth, but she posts a tons of other videos and photos of it in addition to the weekly photo. I see them pop up and honestly it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like she's sharing too much, and I don't think it looks good (to me pregnant stomachs look weird). It's also embarrassing for me because all of my family and friends are friends with her too, so they see all of this and I can't help but wonder what they must think to see my wife so exposed. I have subtly tried to get her to cut back on what she shares and change how she shares it which led to her asking me if didn't like what she was posting. Since she did ask, I admitted everything I posted above but never demanded she stop. She thinks I am a controlling asshole even though I never demanded she stop or only post things that I felt were appropriate. I feel like I am entitled to an opinion and have a right to be uncomfortable with what she's posting and to share that with her. Beyond that she asked for my opinion, so I don't feel she can describe me as an asshole or controlling for answering her question. She also didn't like me saying I didn't think a pregnant stomach was something most of the people we know would want to see and was weird looking, but again, I don't feel like having an opinion, even if it's one she doesn't like, makes me an asshole. Am I wrong and actually the asshole? ######

YTA. I can't imagine why your pregnant wife would be offended when you mentioned that you don't think pregnant stomachs are something people want to see /s. I can't believe I need to explain this but pregnancy changes a woman's body and many women feel uncomfortable and self conscious about that. It's great that your wife is so proud and feels so beautiful, I'm sure she wants other women to feel that way, I'm sure she wishes her husband did too. ######

When I was in high school I decided I was going to study in Poland and Lithuania for my bachelor's and masters respectively. Holy shit, everyone mocked me saying I was stupid for studying there and weird and how much better off they would be going to "elite" New England universities. This wasn't jsut a one time comment, anytime we talked to teachers about university they'd mock me about it. I told them just wait and see who becomes successful. Well when we had our high school reunion, i found everyone who mocked me for my university choices and I told them that living abroad there and learning fluent Polish, Russian and Lithuanian allowed me to get a very very high paying job in Marine Corps as a linguist and intel analyst, and now I'm making 250k a year in private contracting in the region. I later asked "do you think I was stupid for studying in Europe, especially since my tuition was like 2k euros a year, paid off student loan debts yet?" Turns out half of them are still in student loan debt and none of them make more than me. My wife says i was a bit rude and that i shouldn't have embrassed them like that but fuck that, they gave me so much shit in high school it felt good to rub it in their faces afterwards ######

YTA. I can see your wife cringing now... Being gracious in victory is a fine art to learn. Why go to a reunion with people you dislike just to play "one up"? You're not a kid any more. ######

Me and my girlfriend of 3 years were out for a dinner in a restaurant (outdoor setting). We were having a pretty good night, the conversation was fun. We both ordered chicken breasts. She always makes fun of me that I ask for ketchup because she "doesn't like eating chicken breasts with ketchup". After we start eating she takes her fork with meat and puts it on my plate in ketchup. I didn't mind the first time, kinda cute. Then it happened again, I politely say, please put ketchup on your plate. She ignores me, and does it again. I say again "please put ketchup on your plate". She ignores me again. I stop saying anything and she kept doing the same for 4-5 times. On the 6-7th time, I was just about to put my fork on the ketchup, and she hurries and does it just a split second before me. I snaped and said "oh my FUCKING god" and grabbed the ketchup (which was in front of hed) and put it on her plate. And put some more in mine. Then I said "THERE, start eating on your plate". I'm a very calm person. The volume of my words were a bit louder than I'd liked, but in the moment I lost it and I wasn't in control. I immediately said "sorry". In the car on our way home she said that I ruined the night, that people stared when I yelled, and that she wasn't doing anything wrong. She said she was lazy to put the ketchup on her plate, and didn't want it to go to waste because she "doesn't even like ketchup". I explained my prespective and that I lost controll. I apologized again. She didn't apologize and still continues to hold a grudge the next day. Am I the asshole here? ######

YTA. I can only imagine how nice it must be to be in a relationship with all the people saying you were right here, like using a barbed wire dildo. It was ketchup. She had no reason to not put it in her plate, and you had no reason to be bothered that she chose not to. It was inconsequential. Just put more ketchup in your plate for both of you, ffs. ######

throwaway for obvious reasons. In late February, I went on a trip organized by my college's Student Association. Anyone who wanted to could sign up, and they take you to this indoor adult obstacle course with a ball pit, go karts, swinging ropes, monkey bars, etc. We had to sign a waiver at the time we signed up, and one of the stipulations was that you couldn't be on the course under the influence of alcohol or marijuana. This seemed reasonable, so I agreed and signed. After arriving, I went into the bathroom and took half a tab of acid. I had an absolute blast on the go karts, tire swing, and in the ball pit (it was soooo hard to get out)! I was actually more able to do the things like monkey bars after it kicked in, so it's not as though I was stumbling and flailing around. My mistake came when I got into a conversation with an employee by the tire swing - he noticed that my pupils were enlarged, and told me I would have to leave. I told him that I was not under the influence of alcohol or marijuana, and I could tell he didn't believe me. He just kept repeating that I needed to leave, and that people were not allowed to be intoxicated on the premises. I told him that the policy only specified alcohol and marijuana, and I had not taken either. He called security, who then escorted me out. AITA? ######

YTA. I assume acid is illegal where this happened, and it's likely the form makes you consent to not engage in criminal activity, which covers use of controlled substances. ######

long story short my girlfriend has had weight issues her whole life. her dad did a lot psychological shit to her that made her pretty much hate herself and her body. she was bulimic for sometime until she was hospitalized, and stopped. she has gained a lot more weight. she's not fat just thicker in certain parts. she has a bit of a stomach but her doctors aren't concerned about her weight at all. well she gets home from work and is crying. apparently a customer came up, rubbed her stomach and asked if she had a kid in there. when she said no the customer replied with oh just thick and healthy. my girlfriend wouldn't stop crying and started saying she was going to be bulimic again because she hated her body. won't lie, I'm not always the most sympathetic guy and she knows this. I explained this is just another example of her letting people walk all over her and not being up front which she needs to learn. she told me thanks in a pretty pissy voice and left and haven't text me since. obviously I don't think she's fat. i've assured her that. she has a few extra pounds that i love. Was ta for how I responded? ######

YTA. How long have you two been dating? Because she has had a serious past with an eating disorder, have you not discussed with her how to handle these types of situations? You must have known that wasn’t the support she was looking for, and it clearly was a low point for her. Also what was she supposed to do to the customer in order to not let them walk all over her? Scream at them? Yeah I don’t think so. ######

For the record my wife knew what an asshole I was when she married me and therefore consented to all of these pranks. I probably do more to her but when she wants to get even she is straight up vicious. I have six year old twins who just started virtual kindergarten and one of their first project was to do a science experiment. It didn’t have to be very scientific. Basically they just had to make a prediction about something and do it to see if they were right or not. Parents are allowed to help since it is kindergarten. All of the ideas they were coming would have been very hard to execute, so I came up with the idea to put their moms hand in warm water and see if we could make her piss herself. The kids thought it was fun, they wrote their little sentence, and my wife was not happy about the pictures being sent in but like I said, we do this stuff to each other and she was not seriously angry. The teacher said it was inappropriate and teaching my kids to “hurt” people for fun. I thought that was ridiculous and an insult to our parenting. I told her that she is misinformed and ignorant. She’s only been their teacher for two weeks, she knows nothing about us, and my wife was out but if she was there she would call her ignorant as well. My wife said the teacher is ridiculous but I shouldn’t be picking fights two weeks in. ######

YTA. How hard is it to come up with a kindergarten science experiment that doesn’t involve pee and embarrassing photos of your wife? Play pranks on your time, not your kids’ school time. ######

My MIL is married to a man who was born in Iran and they go once or twice a year to see his family. They have a daughter who turned 13 the other day and MIL wished her a happy birthday on social media. She included a couple of pictures and in one of the pictures, MIL and her daughter were both wearing head coverings. That bothered me, SIL absolutely has the right to wear one, but MIL is white and i felt like she was using it as a fashion statement, and kind of showing off. I sent her a private message that i felt like she was appropriating her husband and daughter's culture, and this was her reply: "Their culture? You mean the culture of not wanting to go to jail, because it is illegal in Iran for a woman not to have her hair covered? Yeah, i suck for not wanting to get arrested, and my husband is Jewish dumbass, so that isn't even his culture. Fucking unbelievable" Ok, i looked into it and she is right, she was following a law, and it is a religious thing, not just an Iranian thing. My husband says i should apologize, which i find ironic because he doesn't even like his mother. I said i would only apologize for my mistake if she apologized for how incredibly rude and condescending her reply was. ######

YTA. How can you *not* apologize ######

My wife (34) and I (33) are having our second child. We have a daughter (5). She’s been grouchy her whole pregnancy so her sister offered to plan her a gender reveal party. The plan was that all the food and decorations would be blue or pink and in the end we’d get one of those special sparklers that would light up in either blue or pink to reveal the gender. We went to the doctor and got her to write the result in a folded piece of paper that we passed over to her sister without looking. So flash forward to the day of the party and the moment of truth comes and the sparkler turn or to be pink for a girl. I don’t know what came over me but all I felt at the moment was very bitter disappointment. To be honest, all I was hoping for for baby #2 is to be able to toss a ball around with him and coach little league. Or watch him go to Boy Scout camping trips. I know my daughter is only five, but I’ve already started to deal with the dramas of being a father of a girl and the thought of having to double up now on the neuroticism was harrowing. I grew up in a house with three older boys and one younger sister and I can’t imagine seeing myself be outnumbered. My wife grabbed my arm as people were approaching us to say their congratulations and said I needed to look happier. At that moment I just snapped. I shook my head and walked out to my car ( we came separately) and drove to my sister’s (21F) house. I start getting texts from my sister in law and my wife saying “ way to reenact” their dad leaving their mom when they were 10 and 12. I felt like that accusation was unfair and that I just needed some time alone. I didn’t ask to be flabbergasted- it just happened. And I don’t think it’s fair that they would have demanded I smile and nod for the next couple of hours. AITA? ######

YTA. Hoping for a boy is one thing. Literally walking out on your wife for a gender reveal party is another. You were extremely unsupportive and if you're that upset that you're having another daughter, then you shouldn't have had another child in the first place. Disgusting. ######

My son and his wife are currently staying with us though after this they have a deadline to move out. My wife and I were out of town for a couple of days and we got back late at night. The next morning we were in bed and my son was at work (they only have one car) it was about eleven but we were tired and just hanging out in bed. DIL came in our room without knocking, looked at us in disgust and started to whine about how hungry she was and that there was no food. I pretty much told her to shut up and she should have planned better. She asked if she could use one of our cars to go to the grocery store and I said no. She came back twenty minutes later and started freaking out about how we’re just laying in bed doing nothing and we don’t need our cars. That time I told her to shut the fuck up and if she came in my room again I’d kick her out of the house. About ten minutes later my wife looked out the window and saw DIL leaving on a bike. We don’t use the bikes that much and we don’t really care about them but that doesn’t mean she can steal them. My wife went downstairs and found DILs seven year old son watching tv by himself. This pissed me off so I called the police and reported her for stealing the bike and abandoning a child. DIL went psycho and was screaming about how we ruined her life and we’re evil and my son was actually in tears over this shit. ######

YTA. Honestly, it sounds like her behavior might be a direct result of how you are treating her. You're telling her she should have planned better, but yet you don't allow her any means of getting to the grocery store? And really, you're going to say she *stole* the bike? You knew exactly where she was going and that she would be back. She left her son with his GRANDPARENTS. Question though, why are you allowing them to live with you when you clearly don't like them and are treating them like shit? ######

My (28M) parents own a beach house. We stayed their for a couple of days to celebrate the 4th of July. The house has two bedrooms. My parents stayed in one. The other room was for me, my girlfriend of one year (32F), my brother (34M), and my little sister (23F). The room has two double beds. After dinner, I took a walk with my GF. When we got back to the room, my brother and sister were on one bed. He was sleeping and she was playing with her Switch. I asked her nicely if she could stay on the other bed beside my GF so I could stay beside my brother. She said no. We grew up in a Catholic family. This means no sex before marriage, and I would rather not sleep on the same bed as my GF to avoid temptation. So I was hoping my sister would understand. I tried to explain to her, but she got progressively more annoyed. She was so noisy that she woke up my brother, who asked what the problem was. I explained it to him too, but he sided with my sister. My brother said I had two choices. One, I could suck it up and sleep beside my GF, which might lead to something more happening. Or two, I could sleep on the couch. I was hurt that they couldn’t understand where I was coming from, but ended up sleeping on the couch. The next day, my GF told me that she was sad that it seemed like my sister didn’t like her. My sister didn’t talk to my GF the whole night. She only talked to our brother. I confronted my sister about this, and she told me to “fck off.” This made me angry, because I was just trying to have a conversation with her. I tried telling her she needs to be more respectful. She stormed off. Now she, my brother, and even my mom are angry at me. AITA? ######

YTA. Honestly it’s a little disturbing that you think you can’t lay next to a girl and not have sex with her. ######

We rarely talk unless it has something to do with our kids. Lately our 12yo son has gotten "mouthy" at her and she asked me to talk to him. I found it ironic because she has always been a cold bitch to me lol. I did talk to him. He's not anymore mouthy than any other 12yo. He said he didn't know she was mad because did not "look mad." I told my ex "you can't blame him for not seeing how it upsets you with all that botox in your face." She denied it, but I told her it was obvious and she couldn't move her face to grimace at our son. ######

YTA. Holy shit you need to show *some* respect to your son’s Mother. No wonder your son is acting out with his Mom/not taking her seriously, look at how you talk about her. Time to be a good Dad and do what’s right for your son. ######

So my ex and I divorced when my kids were 2 and 1. I admit I wasn’t the best dad at first and I went a few months without seeing them which prompted her to take me to court for child support which she she gets from me every month now. Now my ex keeps the kids and I see them when I can. I work out of town so sometimes I only see them 3 days a month. But i send her money to care for the kids and I asked her if I could have them on Father’s Day since I hadn’t seen them since May 15th. She brought them over and picked them up Father’s Day evening at 6pm. I guess she had a cook out, dinner and presents for her husband. I mean completely over the top and we are friends on Facebook and she posted pictures of him holding my kids on their Vacation, or my daughter laying on his back with her head laying on top of his and my children snuggled up with him on the couch. There were a few others of him kissing her belly and a video of him crying as she told him they were expecting a boy. She told him that he was doing such a great job helping her raise the kids and that he was the only one she knew who would build treehouses, playhouses, paint a room just to please the kids and watch a Disney Movie every night and she loved how much he already loved his son and that they ALL loved him. They all love him even my kids... she didn’t even tell me happy Father’s Day when she came over. I texted her and told her she needed to take the post down as I didn’t like the pictures of him with my children and that he isn’t there father that I am and she needs to realize that. She pretty much told me to f””” off. My mother agrees she needs to take it down. My mother then messaged her and she told my mother “your son and I divorced over religious reasons he thought he was God and I disagreed and I see he still feels the same way” then she blocked her. AITA? Or is my ex? ######

YTA. Holy shit dude. You're barely involved in their life from the sound of it, excuses or not. Their stepfather is clearly a great father to them and that deserves to be celebrated, whether you like it or not. ######

They were best friends before we ever started dating but still. I am her husband and the father of her child. I had a right to find out she was pregnant before my sister, but instead of telling me first once she found out her response was to call my sister. I was an afterthought. I feel like she robbed me of a special moment which I will never get back, and it has soured my mood on the whole pregnancy. I am finding it hard to get excited about anything because we started off on such a bad note. I told my wife that I didn't want to go to her first appointment. My sister could go with her instead if she wanted company. My wife didn't like this, but I told her that it's her own fault for getting us started on a bad note. Maybe I will go to others or maybe not. I have no clue and don't feel involved in any way, so what does it even matter. AITA? ######

YTA. Holy crap this level of pettiness is not appropriate for a grown ass married man who is about to be a father for God sake! Grow up before that baby gets here I beg of you. ######

Using a throwaway account since they haven’t publicly came out yet. Disclaimer: Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against gay people. I support people having their own choices and living their own lives. Here’s the situation. I (17M) have a friend (M) who agreed to room together in college. At this point he hadn’t come out yet. A few days later he told me that he was gay and that he should let me know. At first I had no problem with it. Of course I was supportive of his bravery and all. But the more I thought about it I began to feel a little uncomfortable. After a lot of thought and consideration I asked him if I could drop out as roommates and find new ones. I lied and gave him a different reason as to why, just so I didn’t hurt his feelings. Now I’m wondering if I was the asshole for feeling uncomfortable to room with someone who was gay and the same gender as I was, regardless if we were friends before or not. ######

YTA. Him being gay doesn’t change anything. If you were comfortable rooming with him before, it’s not like his coming out means the switch has flipped and he wants in your pants now. ######

I visited my family my sister is living with my parents. She has been restless because she hasn’t been able to meet new guys cause of the situation. She then talks about how guys in their 30s that women actually want all want to date women in their 20s because they can impress them and feel manly. I told her that this is on her, she should have dated guys more seriously when she was younger instead of wasting her time on guys that wouldn’t work out. My moms and sister both snapped at me. But I don’t know what to say? Like if I was to wait till 30 to apply to university and complain only crappy colleges will accept me people would tell me that’s on you. Why is this any different? ######

YTA. Here's an idea: when someone is talking about an aspect of their life that is difficult for them, you can just say 'damn, that sounds hard, I'm sorry you're feeling that way' instead of shitting on them and telling them their problems are all their fault! ######

So we wanted the internet to settle this debate. I've been staying with my friend Kate for a little while at her beach house. We've been best friends since college, so obviously boundaries have kind of gone to the wayside. Kate has two daughters who are 18 and 16 and the 18 year old's boyfriend was visiting. His family isn't big on either of us. We were out on her husband's boat and he was fishing. Kate was laying down on the dock of the boat sunbathing. For context she is afraid of literally everything, so her husband motioned to me that he was going to throw the dead (well I think it was dead, Kate claims it was wiggling when it hit her) fish at her. I untied just the top part of her bikini. Her husband saw me do it and didn't stop me. So he threw the fish, Kate freaked out, and the bikini fell down. The boyfriend did not see this part if it matters. This is pretty normal dynamic for us, but her daughter got pissed because she thinks that this is why her boyfriend's parents don't like her, and she says her mom is embarrassing. Kate said I'm an asshole because she is fighting with her daughter over this. Her husband thinks I'm funny though. ######

YTA. Her husband thinking you're funny is more important to you than your friend's feelings. Maybe if she thinks you're an asshole for this, the thing about boundaries going to the wayside is more one-sided than you think. ######

My SO wants her ex’s father to walk her down the aisle Pretty much what the title says. My SO & I got engaged recently & she dropped this on me last night. She dated her ex for 6 years & got really close to the family. I don’t want her ex’s family that involved in our wedding, but she insists that he’s there. Her father died while they were dating, so I understand she doesn’t want to walk down the aisle alone, but she’s also close with my father. AITA for not wanting my SO to walk down the aisle with her ex’s dad?? ######

YTA. Her ex's father is walking her down the aisle to you, not to her ex. You don't get to control who walks her down the aisle. Her dad died while your SO and her ex were dating, so I can see why she may want to have her ex's father walk her down the aisle. ######

My daughter is 14. She was 12 when we moved countries two years ago. She also started puberty around that time. Prior to the move she had many friends, took care of herself, though to be fair things were easier beging prepubescent at the time. After the move she made an honest effort to make friends and gained a close group of girlfriends. However about six months in a dramatic incident happened, and left her rejected by them. Since then it's as if she's regressed to a childlike state. She wears unflattering, neon colored clothes way too big for her, with cartoon characters on them. Her hair looks like a rat's nest. Her hygiene is questionable. She refuses to wear makeup or was her upper lip (quite hairy) or eyebrows. Worst of all she has completely stopped trying to make friends. She didn't celebrate her last birthday because she said there was no one to invite, no one likes her, but she doesn't even try. She spends all day alone. I know it's not proper, but I think her presentation is part of it. She is at an age where kids are trying to be mature and she's regressing. I reached my breaking point and we had a row over the upper lip. I told her she would get it taken care of. When she refused I stood my ground, and it ended up turning into a yelling match. She ended up crying and we compromised that she would bleach it. AITA if I had good intentions? I just want her to have friends again. I have been trying to get to her nicely for months. ######

YTA. Her body hair isn’t the issue. Did you ever stop to think she likes her clothes? Something happened with her friends? You aren’t asking the right questions. ######

When I was 20 I had a kid with my ex girlfriend. I was not at all prepared to have a kid and my ex told me that I would either have to step up 100% or to basically fuck off. I knew I couldn’t be there 100% so I fucked off. I’m now 40 and recently received communications from my son who is 20 (She named him Nic) and wants to know who his father is. The thing is, my ex and I have been in contact for the past 2-3 years and she has been giving me some updates on how Nic has been doing and everything. I know that her and his stepfather love him very much and have provided for him and for that I’m very grateful. I never wanted to intrude in their lives and I was happy just knowing that he was loved and cared for. When Nic messaged me and told me that he recently discovered that I was his father, I told him that I didn’t want to meet him and that his stepdad was more of his dad than I ever was and to just forget about me. He got upset with me and called me a true asshole and that he just wanted to know who I was. He also mentioned my new family and said that he “feels sorry” for my kids. I told him that it was for the best and that his stepdad was his true dad. AITA for what I said? I don’t know how to feel about it lately and while I do feel for the kid, I don’t know anything about him and his stepdad raised him. ######

YTA. He’s your biological kid. You may not be his father figure, but you could’ve at least given him the time of day and met with him to explain how you feel. Blowing him off completely and telling him you didn’t want to meet him was a dick move and may have made him feel abandoned/resented. He has every right to want to meet his biological father. ######

So for context, I just graduated with a Bachelors in English Literature with the intention to move abroad to teach English as a second language. I'm starting off in South Korea because a friend of mine lived there for a few months and said I would love living there. My friend also lives in Singapore, which is where I intend to end up full-time as I love her and I want to be around her more often, she's my best friend. So, anyway, my brother and I were talking one day and I mentioned that he would need to learn how to cook the meals I make for the family whilst I am gone. He suddenly laments that I get to move away whilst he is stuck at home. I've been studying at home for 6 years and maintaining two jobs whilst he lived away to study and has only been at home for 3 years and only recently found a job. I suggested he find something that gets him out of the house and then after dinner, he asks me about the company I applied to teach abroad through and I tell him. The next day he tells me he's planning teaching English in Japan. I'm furious. Teaching has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I love teaching and even volunteered at multiple schools to make sure it was what I really wanted. I know he's entitled to do what he wants but I feel so angry that he is basically stealing something I've been dreaming about since I was small. I dont think he would be a good teacher, he has anger issues and cannot talk clearly. He has no idea what teaching English is going to be like and I am angry that I have spent the last 6 years preparing for my dream life and he has suddenly decided to do the same thing on a whim. Would I be the asshole if I told him that I dont think its cool that hes decided to copy my dream on a whim? Please be honest because I understand I sound selfish but I have had to put up with being bested by him my whole life and this is the one thing I chose for myself and its not even my own thing anymore. ######

YTA. He's not "stealing" anything. You can still have 100% of what you want. He's not even going to be in the same country. ######

Hi, I know how the title sounds, but here's the story. One of my (23F) close friends (24F) is a fat woman. I think she is absolutely gorgeous inside and out, but she does struggle with obesity and losing weight and very serious self-image problems. She talks about it with our friend group very frequently, and I know her issues with self image have been quite debilitating in terms of her dating life. She's basically never been in a relationship, despite being a perfectly lovely, smart, ambitious, fun person. Recently though, she met a new guy on a dating app and they really hit it off. They've been going on dates for about two months now and it seems like things are progressing quite well. We couldn't be happier for her because she really deserves it. On Friday, our group of friends went out for some drinks, and she was showing us pictures of him and telling us how she can't wait for us to meet him. That's when I blurted out "he seems great, and he's okay with your weight right?" The table went dead silent and I realized how rude I sounded. I tried to backpedal and explain that I only brought it up because I know how much she has struggled (she literally talks about it ALL the time) and I wanted to make sure she's with someone who treats her well. She started tearing up and another friend said "dude that's super fucked up" and I tried to say they're kinda overreacting and that we were ALL thinking about it and just wanted to make sure she feels comfy in the relationship. Anyways, that was Friday, it's now Tuesday, I've made several attempts to reach out to my friend and others in the group and they said they have no interest in talking to me for the foreseeable time. I'm really sad because these are my core best friends, and I am extremely lonely without them. AITA? What can I do? ######

YTA. He's been dating her for two months, obviously he's 'okay' with her weight. What you said was shitty and rude and absolutely was not on everyone's mind. Instead of 'backpedaling', *apologize*. Sincerely and with no justifications. ######

So my Husband(m43) has a very sucessful buiness that he started when he was 18. He was always a very poor kid and grew up in a orphanage. When he was old enough to start working he started saving as much money as he could and by the time he turned 18 he was able to create his company. Now he has over 10 million dollars and has everythimg he ever wanted but never forgets where he started. The problem comes when I was talking to him about selling the company. I asked him if he would be willing to seel the company because it would make him more money. He said firstly no he would never sell the company and secondly its not "our" company its his. I told him that since we are married the company is now both of ours. He told me that thats not how it works and he is the only owner of this company. The conversation stopped there but my husband has started to question my intentions. He seems to think that I want all the money to myself and hes questioning our marriage. The only thing I want is for our family to have more money so we can be set for life. Our daughter(16) says that Im the Ah and that I sound like a golddigger trying to make him sell his company when we already have everything we would every want or need and then some. My husband never spoiled our daughter and made sure to teach her the value of money and to not just expect everything to be handed to her. He still makes her get a job so she can have"experience" so I thought maybe she would side with me and want more money so she wouldn't need to work but that didn't happen. My family is now agianst me and my husband is considering leaving everything in his will to our daughter because he fears that if he dies I will just take all the money and leave her with nothing. So reddit Aita? I really just wanted my family to have more but all I did was cause problems but is it soley my fault? ######

YTA. He started the company, he built the company up, he runs the company, and it sounds like he didn't add your name to any of the business' paperwork. And why isn't $10 million enough for you? Of course you sound like a gold digger and your family should suspect your motives. Greed is not attractive. ######

My (23M) best friend (23M) bought a house, i moved in and pay him 'rent' every month to cover part if the bills. I have been with my girlfriend (21) for 5 years and she has pretty much always lived with me at my mums and didn't pay rent (she does have a full time job) because she wants to save money. When i moved in she was coming over alot and now she is here almost all of the time. My mate has asked me to get her to start covering some of the bills like 3 way split since extra is being used with 3 people being here. I said no since I dont see why she should have to since she never paid rent before and i know if i ask her too she will leave and go back to her parents which i dont want. Also my mate has a girlfriend who lives here for weeks at a a time when she isn't at Uni and she doesn't have to pay rent so why should my girlfriend? He has now said if she doesnt start paying some money towards the house then she won't be allowed over more than 2 nights a week. So reddit AITA? ######

YTA. He owns the place and makes a very reasonable argument. You’re just being petulant about it. ######

My brother's son is 20, and he lives about 30 minutes drive away from our area. My brother and his wife separated about 3 years ago, and he moved out of the country, while my nephew stayed here with his mother and brother. When the breakup happened, all of our side of the family tried not to take sides, as there was infidelity involved - we didn't want to cut off my brother, but we also didn't want to see them stuck. We(the extended family) helped them find a new house and gave them some furniture and such to get them restarted. Personally I did a lot of driving back and forth to their area as well, dropping off people and bits to help them. Since then, we haven't really seen much of them, but we bump into them from time to time at family functions. Last year we were at one such function (i can't remember what it was), and they were all there. Since we'd last seen them, our daughter had been born, and the nephew came out with the observation "Oh, I'd forgotten you guys had a baby". It wasn't anything offensive, but I was a little pissed off that he had forgotten the existence of my daughter - we had been there a lot for them in a tough time, and I don't think it was much to at least expect that. Fast forward to this week - his birthday had been earlier in the week. Since all the kids in the extended family had gotten over the age of 16, we usually just tended to stick £50 in a card and that was usually the end of it. This year for said nephew, I decided not to send him a card, or indeed wish him a happy birthday. The next day I got a call from his mum asking why I hadn't sent a card - to which I replied "oh I forgot it was his birthday". She knew I was lying, and called me an asshole, saying that he was just a young boy. I retaliated, saying that he is old enough to know that he has a new cousin, and that I was offended that she had been completely forgotten. So, AITA? ######

YTA. He hadn’t even seen you guys since the kid was born. Most of his knowledge of her existence will have stemmed from people telling him a couple of times she existed. His life does not revolve around you. Maybe it was insensitive to say, but he probably said it without thinking. You even acknowledge it was nothing offensive. It is EXTREMELY petty and rude to just ignore someone’s birthday because they forgot about someone who didn’t exist the last time he saw you. ######

It’s as simple as that. We like each other, we support each other, we do things for each other often. It irked me that he needed me, his wife, to sew a button on his pants because he didn’t know how (that was his explanation about why I should do it.) It felt demeaning in that ‘because you are a woman and I am a man and this is your job’ kind of way. So should he have noodled out how to thread a needle and poke it through a buttonhole, or should I have done it ‘just to be nice’? I didn’t do it. He took the pants to the dry cleaner to have it done. ######

YTA. he doesn’t know how to sew and probably doesn’t want to make it look sloppy - this would have been a good teaching moment, so that he is prepared next time. But nope, you tell him no rather than taking two seconds to show him. ######

My cousin (17m) says after he graduates from high school he wants to be a navy seal. I laughed my ass off when i heard that becuase he's at least 80 pounds overweight and he can't even do a single pull up, nor can he even walk up a flgiht of stairs without getting winded. He is too out of shape to even join the airforce. As I was laughing he asked why i thought it was funny and i explained to him that there's no way he could join any military branch with how out of shape he is. He says im an asshole and I told him he needs to be realistic as there's no way the world's most elite special forces are going to elt him join if he can't do a single pushup. ######

YTA. He can resolve these things by training. Unfortunately for you, there is no gym for fixing that shitty personality. ######

A long time close friend of mine recently came out to me as gay (important to mention I am also gay), he mentioned that it was probably internalized homophobia that took him this long and that he is still working it out. I felt delighted for him and offered to be there for when he felt like telling other people. He said it would be something he would do imminently, but to keep it to myself for a while. A couple months pass and he still hasn't told anyone but me. Our friendship is complicated and I had a crush on him when we were younger (he is aware of this). As I reflected more on him, our relationship and his behaviour, I remembered some of the homophobic things he'd say with other members of our friend group. It was predominantly stuff that would be considered "locker room" talk like "thats gay" or calling me feminine and the more I thought about it the more pissed off I became as he knew what he was saying would hurt me. Its even more fucked up that he is gay too. There was nothing internalized about that past behaviour. Anyway he recently came up in conversation with a couple friends and I decided to tell them that our mutual friend came out to me. They all reacted really positively and were so happy for him. However, he eventually found out about this and is pissed and has cut me off without an explanation. Am I totally in the wrong here? ######

YTA. He acknowledged his past homophobia. He asked you to keep it in the DL, and *you agreed.* Your outing of him was pure revenge. Not cool. ######

We’re expecting twins in October and have obviously been suggesting names, we could have two girls/two boys (to sum up; we don’t know the genders) I’ve picked; Gabriella and Isabella Caleb and Joshua Ordinary, decent names that won’t make people take a double take and won’t ruin their chances for a job in the future. My wife is dead set on these names; Roman - Xander and Luca - Beau. Freya and Eliza - Florence. I don’t even think middle names are necessary but she does, not that anyone ever uses middle names. But I think the names are ridiculous, would you take a child seriously if they’re called Roman - Xander? No? Me neither! Xander is the name of her uncle so I can kind of get that (it’s not my fault her grandmother used ridiculous names too) I’ve told her several times to drop the names, we’re not using the names at all, they’re stupid and our children will get mocked over them. She bought the names up to her family; her grandmother cried when she found out my wife wants to use the name Xander in memorial of her uncle so I think it was a guilt trip move to make me feel bad, spoiler alert; didn’t work. I told her and her family that the names are fucking stupid and I will not use them. My wife is upset with me and we aren’t talking unless it’s about the babies. My sister thinks I was overly harsh and once my wife sees the babies she’ll realise how ridiculous the names are. AITA? (We do have a good relationship until it comes down to the babies names) ######

YTA. Having rhyming names for twins sounds more ridiculous than Freya and Eliza! I'd be embarrassed to have a name almost identical to my sister! Nevertheless, it's not about the names but the way you behaved which makes YTA ######

So my friends and I were having a kickback in our apartment last Tuesday; these girls from these two sororities were there. This one girl ended up having an unexpected incident and I guess started leaking blood. A little even got on our floor. We only have one bathroom, so we didn’t want her to make a mess and their sorority house was like 0.2 miles away, so one of my roommates (there’s 4 of us) gave her a clean towel, and some of the other girls helped her get back. We were stuck having to clean up the blood that had dripped on the floor anyway, so are we the assholes for not wanting to risk as mess? ######

YTA. Have you never lived with a woman before? She'd put on a pad/insert a tampon, wipe everything down, wash her hands and be done in three seconds. Probably would have cleaned the floor for you too, if you hadn't been such assholes. Also, if someone is leaking blood into the floor, through their clothes, they're bleeding HEAVILY. Not letting them get cleaned up is deeply cruel. ######

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years, his younger brother is 20. In all the time I’ve known my BIL he’s not shown any interest in women. His browser history is full of men on men (he gave me his old phone and didn’t wipe it, shouldn’t have snooped) He gets very awkward around other men and has a weird obsession with Tom Hardy and he’s constantly asking my husband his opinion on an LGBT topic. To me it’s obvious he’s gay or at least bisexual. I mentioned it to my husband and I told him he needs to have a one on one with his brother. My husband and I are in this huge argument and he’s saying that his brother is just emotionally stunted and still discovering himself (my MIL and FIL are very anti sex before marriage etc) He’s claiming it isn’t my place and that I’m reaching, he’s really upset. AITA? **He gave me the phone, it was my phone then, he forgot to wipe it** ######

YTA. Have you ever considered learning to crochet? Cross stitch? Fishing? Stamp collecting? Just trying to help because you desperately need a hobby that isn't snooping and meddling in other people's lives. ######

My husband was not raised by his mother. I don't know many details because she said she doesn't have to justify it to me, but i think she wanted an abortion and was talked out of it. She is very successful in a niche industry and spent his childhood traveling, focusing on her career, and partying. For some reason he has forgiven her, but she doesn't seem very sorry and she still seems to think she was the victim in all of that. I am currently pregnant and my husband says she has changed and deserves a relationship with her grandchild. I don't think she has ever taken care of a baby before. I bought a baby doll and wanted to test her, but she threw the doll on the floor. MIL started crying and saying we'll never get a penny from her and now my husband is angry and says i am holding emotional issues against her and that she doesn't have to atone the rest of her life. ######

YTA. Has she ever done anything to actually prove she can’t look after a baby or would be negligent with yours? Whether she wanted an abortion or not way back when doesn’t make her less of a parent, so many people weigh up their options when they find out they’re pregnant. Also, lots of people travel for work, and that doesn’t make them less of a parent. Giving her a doll to “test” her is just wrong, I would have been offended at that as well. Edit: just wanted to say this is my opinion based on the little information given, i think more info is needed. ######

I’ll make this short and sweet, I’m dating somebody now and I would never cheat on them and I’d hope for / expect them to never cheat on me too. We got in an argument earlier because I admitted that before I met him, I didn’t see a problem with me being “the other woman” because quite frankly they weren’t my relationships and if somebody expressed interest in me, I felt like it was okay because I’m not cheating on / breaking trust with a partner, I’m just living out a fantasy or kink, along with the man I’m sleeping with who is as well. My boyfriend’s point of view is that cheating in any form by all parties is wrong and he doesn’t know if he can trust that I won’t cheat on him because I’ve openly admitted to being “the other woman.” My point of view is that I love him and I would never want to hurt him in that way and it wasn’t my fault that the men in other relationships lied to their partners, and it’s not my fault that they wanted to do those things with me. I will admit that it can be morally questionable to be a “home wrecker”, but I feel like the blame should be on the person actually in the relationship, not the person who was chosen. So reddit, AITA for being okay with other people’s cheating? ######

YTA. Funny you wouldn't want it done to you but you have no problem being a catalyst for extreme emotional turmoil in someone else's relationship. ######

Me and my girl have been together for 2 years but only lived with each for 8 months. My first time ever living with someone else and her second. I mean in a relationship status. Me and her sister have of course meet plenty of times and have no issue with each other that I know of. Might change....lol just joking. Her sister got divorced after a 5 year relationship, and now needs a place to stay. I don't know why she can't just stay in her place. It might be weird but do what you have to do. I didn't hear about the news until 5 days after. My girlfriend throws that she needs a place to stay at me. Their dad is it out the picture and her mom stays with their step Dad. For some reason that didn't seem ideal to them. Sure we got an extra bedroom in our place.... But this is not what we really got it for. Suppose to be 2 night stays for guest, not months on end stay for someone. Exactly what I told her and that I didn't feel comfortable with it and how we haven't even lived together for a year yet. You know the family excuse came up on why she should stay with us. I was tempted to say her sister should've thought of a scenario like this for she wouldn't have to scramble to find a solution. Feel like this might be a little dent into our relationship. Some days already I reminisce on me living alone, doing whatever I want. Plus I already get enough unnecessary attitude from my girlfriend don't need more from the same blood line. Think I was out of line to tell her she shouldn't stay with us? ######

YTA. For this alone: > Plus I already get enough unnecessary attitude from my girlfriend don't need more from the same blood line. If you don’t like her and want to be alone, why on earth are you living with her? You just need a substitute mommy/sex doll? It’s tough having unplanned longer term guests, but there are discussions and compromises that can be made in most situations. Sounds like you aren’t even willing to consider any. ######

My daughter (8) spends a lot of time face-timing with her cousins, sisters aged 9 and 11. The sisters are heavy set and my daughter is healthy slim, because my wife and I monitor her diet fairly carefully and don't let her eat too much junk food. Lately they have been on a kick about being the two of them being "chunky" and her being too skinny. It is something from the movie Madagascar. There is a song where the rapper Will. I. Am. highlights a lot of good womanly traits like smart, funny, bubbly, etc but most of all "chunky." Our daughter has been pestering my wife and I for ice cream and crying that this is why she will never be "chunky" when we refuse. So I decided to tell her that even though there are some boys like the king hippo in the movie who like chunky girls, most boys like skinny girls. Then I used the analogy of the huge super-deluxe box of crayola colored pencils that she has at home vs the standard box she brings to school to explain to her the difference in choices of boys she and her cousin will have when she is older. Well, last night my sister-in-law really read me the riot act over FaceTime. Apparently my daughter said something to her daughters about how boys will like her better because she is skinnier, so she will get to pick between hundreds of boys and they will only get to pick from a few. I feel like a bit of an ass, as I often do as a dad. But it is ridiculous that my daughter wanted to gain weight and become an unhealthy size because of anti-diet culture making her think that she isn't good enough at a health weight and needs to eat more junk food. Am I wrong here? ######

YTA. For Godsakes, she’s only 8 years old!! Why would you teach her that being slim would equate to getting a man? Where are your priorities?? ######

Most of the kids in my child’s Texas school district returned to class face-to-face this week, although about 20-30% of the students are still working from home. I received an email from one of my kid’s teachers introducing themselves and letting parents know that their class was “blended learning” where all the kids (virtual AND face to face) watch videos to learn the class content and turn assignments in online. I was pretty upset with this; why is my child even going to school when they’re not going to be taught F2F? I responded to the teacher’s email and asked for clarification on if they were ACTUALLY teaching the kids who physically show up for class. They responded with some diplomatic bs about needing to provide the same opportunities to F2F and virtual students, they always answer any student questions, and the school board is requiring teachers to have lessons prepared in advance in case they’re exposed to the virus and have to quarantine. I truthfully just think it’s all stupid and this teacher is lazy. Teachers in my state make good money, get half the year off, and now they get to sit behind their desks the entire work day doing nothing? My taxes pay their salary. I communicated this to the teacher, saying respectfully that my child has a right to a better education than being taught by a YouTube video. I copied an assistant principal from the school and my wife on my response, but now my wife is upset with me and saying that I’m TA for “harassing” this teacher. So Reddit, AITA? ######

YTA. First of all, sending your child to school is an absolute unnecessary risk to begin with. Secondly, how on earth is a teacher supposed to teach two different classes at the same time. Teachers in Texas do not make “good money” and you honestly need a privilege check. This person is risking their life in this environment to educate YOUR child. Have a speck of respect. ######

So we are from a country that’s currently dealing with huge disasters, there are legit high percentage of families that can’t find food and shelter because of the recent pandemic, we have electricity shortage, the government is even struggling to deliver water into homes all that with extreme temperature and a joke of a healthcare system this and others is a good recipe of disaster. Anyways we are from the well off communities and being in a private school and having economically stable and comfortable families we decided to help as much as we could, We had a Zoom call of about 40 students and few teachers, So we started it normally and then when we were staring to discuss the problems and how we could help people during these times, there is this girl who out of no where starts lecturing us about BIm and how we should also discuss it and give it time, I tolerated her for few minutes then couldn’t contain myself. I told her stuff like to shut up and that nobody gives a shit about some trouble the most economically powerful and many kilometers away is dealing with while our people are suffering and are struggling to even survive, and that nobody from the us would give a shut about us, and why she was being a naive shit, it got really heated and teachers had to intervene, I left the call, and so did around 30-35 students. The students who were left in the call reached out to Mr saying I extremely embarrassed her in front of 50 people and that she kept speaking to 4 left students and that she was very hurt by it and also she already suffers from anxiety and depression and this made things worse, and I should apologize And I’m really not sure ######

YTA. First of all, caring about the BLM movement is not something that’s limited only to Americans. So referring to that person as ignorant makes absolutely no sense. Secondly, if you really feel that BLM is not something that you need to address then you need to learn to voice your opinion and argue points in a constructive way. ######

I'm in a tight spot here. My son (17) is a bit of a hassle to handle. When he was younger he tried to commit, we had to send him away to a hospital, he's better now. Then when he was 15 he became an atheist and it was hard because we're super religious and even after I tried to convince him , he still stayed to his beliefs. Then he started sneaking out, it stopped. Then the attitude. My husband and him don't get along , they're civil but their constantly having fights because my son doesn't like what my husband likes. A few weeks ago he had a friend (17M) over and , lets say he wasn't what I liked to be hanging out with my son. But of course I accepted it and let it be since they've been "friends" for 2 years I've allowed him over. I have a horrible habit of not knocking and walked in on them making out. Im not homphobic, I don't hate gay people, I think they're still people but I wouldn't exactly associate with them. It was awkward but then my son asked me not to tell anyone, and the "friend" hasn't come over since. Now it's been horrible keeping this secret from my husband, I feel like I'm lying to him because he usually asks my son when he's going to get a girlfriend and I feel bad knowing something he doesn't. Yesterday I pulled my son aside and told him he needs to his dad because I can't do this anymore. He said he doesn't want to because he's scared my husband will kick him out, now my husband wouldn't do that! Yes he'd be a little mad but he would never disown my son! I stupidly said he needed to tell them and it went into this whisper-fight and now he isn't talking to me and spends most of his day in his room. My husband has noticed and I've been so tempted but haven't said anything. Aita?? I feel horrid keeping this a secret. ######

YTA. First of all “not wanting to associate with them (LGBTQ+)” is still HOMOPHOBIC. Not accepting a person for who they are as an LGBTQ+ individual is still homophobic. That aside, you cannot force your son to come out. It can sometimes be a very stressful and terrifying thing. Especially since your son would be coming out to a family member who may not be very accepting. ######

Okay so I remember when I was at the gym one day and I was looking for a song on Spotify to jam out to while my workout routine. This lady started circling around me and pretending to look at her watch (she doesn’t have one LMAO) and she finally went up to me and was like “Can I use this machine because you’re not using it and ur on your phone young lady? People like me are waiting” and I said “okay Karen, if you insist” and got up ######

YTA. Find your song before you tie up a machine. ######

I know that the title makes my situation sound bad, but hear me out. So my daughter, who is 15 years old, recently came out to me as a lesbian, which I wholeheartedly support. That was about 3 days ago. Yesterday, she went to see some of her friends (with masks and social distancing) and they hung out for a while. When I came to pick her up, I noticed that she was acting more skittish around one of her friends (let's call her K) so I made a joke asking if she liked K (in a crush/romantic way). She freaked out at me, crying and saying that she hadn't told K yet about her being gay. I assumed that she had already told K, since she was so comfortable coming out to me. But AITA for accidentally embarrassing her in front of K? ######

YTA. Even if your daughter is not a lesbian and K was a boy you'll still be an AH. You can't seriously wait for a few minutes until everyone else is out of earshot? Tsktsktsk. Edit: typos ######

I’m a lifelong fan of Richard Pryor and I a frequenter of a cafe for a few months. The cafe is somewhat of a mixture of hipsters and yuppies, which isn’t really my scene, but it happens to be walking distance from my apartment. This morning I went in and played Blazing Saddles on my laptop for about half an hour. I didn’t have headphones in but all of the tables are socially distanced and I didn’t play it excessively loud. It says the n word quite profusely, which might have to do with why I got kicked out, but it is said humorously in a way meant to skewer racists. I was asked to turn it off and when I asked why the woman just looked at me sternly and said it disturbs other guests. I asked loudly if anyone was disturbed and people looked at me as if to say “no” and then put their heads back down. The barista repeated herself that it wasn’t allowed so I packed up my laptop and left. Did I do anything wrong? ######

YTA. Even if you were watching Sesame Street, you’d be the asshole. Regardless of the content, it is polite to put on headphones when in a public space. So put on some damn headphones. ######

My fiance's mom is doing surrogacy for his dad's brother and his wife, because she can't have kids. We were at their house a few weeks ago and his mom is really visibly pregnant now. I know nothing about surrogacy, so i thought she just got pregnant the old fashioned way. I said that his dad is such a good brother for being willing to let his wife and brother sleep together, and then I said it must have been hard for the aunt, because I'm the jealous type and I couldn't handle that. Instead of explaining it to me, they all just laughed at me. His mom finally explained that she didn't sleep with his uncle, but the dad muttered "fucking idiot" under his breath. I don't do well with disrespect and I ended up knocking a coffee cake to the ground. My fiance was really embarrassed, so we left. Now I am refusing to go back to their house, but tonight is his grandmother's birthday, and they are doing a family dinner at his mom's house. His dad still hasn't apologized, and said he isn't going to, so i'm refusing to go, but my fiance said i should just go, because it's about his grandma, not his dad. ######

YTA. Even if you honestly thought they had to sleep together, the fact that you would bring that up at a family gathering is extremely rude (and stupid). Then you knocked a cake on the ground when they called you out, just to drive home how much of an AH you are. Well done. ######

Me [18F], my parents, my brother Tom and his girlfriend Lily [22M & 24F] went out for dinner yesterday. We were all casually dressed. I wore jeans, t shirt, trainers etc and my parents and brother dressed the same way. Lily was different. She wore a dark dress, full makeup, hair done, heels etc. She looked like she was going to a wedding or a job interview or something. To be fair she is always like this. She's very fashion conscious. The only time I've ever seen her dressed down is at the gym. She dresses her best just to go the shop to buy milk. At dinner it was quite busy, and we were wondering if they got our table number mixed up. I said for a joke that there was no chance of that with Lily's clothes sticking out they way they do. She gave me a dirty look for that. When we got home Lily decided to stay the night. She didn't bring a change of clothes so borrowed Tom's jogging bottoms and t shirt. She came down after changing and taking her makeup off, and I said she looked cute, which she did. She gave me another dirty look and asked if she wasn't too overdressed for me. WTF? That was a joke I made at the restaurant about the fact she was the odd one out. It wasn't meant to offend her or criticise the way she dresses. She ignored me the rest of the night and still isn't talking to me in this morning. I did try to apologise but she ignored it. I don't see what I did wrong. It wasn't meant to insult her so I'm not sure why she's so annoyed. ######

YTA. Even if it wasn’t your intention, you were rude and you made her uncomfortable. Say you’re sorry, don’t pull stuff like this again and you’ll be fine ######