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One of the joys of picking up the recent Bela Lugosi collection is getting to see delightful movies like The Invisible Ray Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi team up in a movie that delves into meteorites and radiation and while the science is all perfectly absurd especially the camera technique Karloff as Janos Rukh uses to determine the site of a certain meteorite and downright laughable I didnt care in the lease because the movie is thoroughly enjoyable The effects are done well for the time the acting is great and the finish is particularly strong It reminds me of the pulp scifi comics and novels of the 1940s and 50s complete with ray guns and ridiculous science You must watch this movie
123
This film was the one of the first of the 70s womeninprison film genre This movie was incredibly violent with lots of sadistic torture being inflicted on the inmates The film takes place in the Phillipines which looks like a horribly ugly country No doubt the producers used this factor to their advantage to emphasize the gruesome situation that the prisoners were inbr br Blaxploitation movie queen Pam Grier has the starring role in this movie She plays Blossom a renegade who gets thrown in the vile womens prison on trumpedup charges Her boyfriend played by Sid Haig tries to rescue Blossom He and Blossom are part of a political guerrilla faction and Blossoms incarceration was orchestrated by the corrupt Phillipino governmentbr br Pam Grier and Sid Haig standout amongst the otherwise lackluster cast The film itself put way too much emphasis on violence perpetrated against the prisoners Their captors just used them solely as objects of their sadism This got boring real fast This movie couldve used more interesting plotlines and subtlety This is not one of Roger Cormans better pictures The many womeninprison films that followed this one were much better all around Id recommend The Big Bird Cage only to Pam Grier fans
206
CQ is incredibly slow and Im a David Mamet fan The movie follows around a young filmmaker who is making a very Barbarellaesque film After that the movie started to lose me Deep and profound Not really The movie Dragonfly being made in CQ has the problem of having no ending This greatly parallels CQ which also lacks an ending in my opinionbr br I was lucky enough to catch this movie at the SxSW film festival I had fairly high expectations having just watched Y Tu Mama Tambien and several other great movies I was also looking forward to Jason Schwartzmans performance But it was not an easy film to get into If youre not into 60s scifi or slow movies that go no where skip itbr br CQ feels like a student film If you want a recent scifiesque indie film rent Donnie Darko it wont put you to sleep
152
Ive slowly been collecting the films available on DVD of both Catherine Deneuve and Francois Truffaut Both actress and director have done some stinkers in their time fortunately Mississipi Mermaid is not one of thembr br Next to The Soft Skin coincidentally staring Deneuves sister the late Francoise Dorleac this would have to be my favourite Truffaut filmbr br As well as directing Truffaut also wrote the screenplay Something that always strikes me about Truffaut is his almost childlike innocence when presenting a story one could almost call it naivetybr br Theres a scene towards the end of the film where Belmondo returns to the apartment in Lyon with the remains of the loot He rings the doorbell and Deneuve answers wearing a negligee In the time it takes Belmondo to reach their room from the street Deneuve changes into her dress puts on her best pair of stockings and shoes then lies on the bed and pretends she is asleep Its a scene that could almost come from the mind of a child but thats Truffaut for youbr br Watching Catherine Deneuve in her films of the late 60s is indeed a sensory pleasure She is so extraordinarily beautiful it is almost painful for us to watch Incidentally for those fans there are a couple of topless scenes of her in this film indeed a sinful pleasurebr br I disagree with previous posters I see nothing Hitchcockian about the film at all As for the look of it i love the look of the older film stock used in the 60s It certainly gives films of this period a unique lookbr br Highly recommended for both Deneuve and Truffaut fans
286
I thought there might be some level of worth to this movie and sat through the whole thing I can summarize by saying it left a bad taste in my mouthbr br The movie started out OK I think the initial characterization of Herc was true to the myths Both as a child and a young adult he started out pretty strong but not the brightest bulb But later on he somehow transforms into a charismatic speaker beloved by all Huh br br Other problem terrible CGI The satyr looked OK but the rest of the critters just looked terrible especially the hart the phoniest looking beast in the movie And how come Leelee Sobieskis skin was sometimes golden sometimes normal The worst part for meand everyone should cringe at thiswas the twelve labors of Hercules Because the producers obviously didnt want to cover all of them maybe they thought us primitive screwheads watching this garbage couldnt count that high Instead of the TWELVE labors of Hercules we got the FIVE labors of Hercules Yes the five labors WTF He didt even finish the last one so it was really the 4 12 labors Just terrible Ill take Hercules The Legendary Journeys over this piece of crap any day of the week
212
This picture is a bad and blown up rip off of the Michael Pohl short film EXTINCT from 1995 While Michael Pohls idea was original and perfect for a short film setting A SOUND OF THUNDERs plot was poorly adapted from Pohls story and not fit for a full length feature film one would expect from a major Hollywod studio The tragic flooding situation that ruined the sets in Prague was just one bad link in a long rusty film production chain in this case For a studio to release such a product it is a shame Especially for Warner Brothers a studio which broke new effects grounds with shows like BABYLON 5 in 1993 On TELEVISION Visual effects for television shows pioneering CGI in episodic television in the mid nineties were way more sophisticated than what is brought to the screen in this picture In cases like this sad as it may be Can the film
157
If 1977s Exorcist II The Heretic did him no favors its hard to imagine what thespian extraordinaire Richard Burton saw in this drab exercise in nonthrills Youve seen it all before Burton plays a writer who discovered at an early age he possesses the power to move inanimate objects through force of his mind and you thought Carrie had no impact on Hollywood Though adapted from a novel by Peter Van Greenaway Medusa plays like recycled goods though the special effects in the cathedral finale are solid if typical Lee Remick is somewhat present as a doctor but otherwise the supporting cast is extremely weak Burton is hammy but wearynot even telekinesis could save him at this point 12 from
121
The silly saying You cant touch this surely applies here With all the clone horror and scifi films coming out along with all the inferior remakes its hard to find anything worthy of 2 hours of your time Thats why I always rely on the classics that scared the weewee out of me when I was a preteenbr br THE THING is without an ounce of doubt in my mind the goriest ickiest screechiest scifi horror classic that John Carpenter or any other director sorry even you Mr Spielberg ever made What really gives it power though is not the gore it OOOOOZES of slime and blood and God knows what other fluids but rather the sense of dread isolation and distrust it fosters in the characters and the viewerbr br You cant get more remote than Antarctica and in this howling freezing white setting is where the story takes place Several Americans researchers and military men are stationed there One day they witness a Siberian Husky dog running for dear life from gunwielding Norwegians Before they know it the American outpost is battling a mysterious creature that can imitate any creature it wants It may morph into disgusting slimy bloody shapes before its finished but once its finished if you didnt see it in progress you cant tell it among humans or other normal Earth animalsbr br Kurt Russell Keith David Wilford Brimley Richard Masur Donald Moffatt TK Carter Thomas Waites and Charles Hallahan are just a few of the fine cast This film is the reason why horror CAN be a great genre It actually STILL scares me The alien blood jumping out of the petri dish when the hot wire touches it still makes ME jumpbr br Still the scariest of them all
296
After missing out on this innumerable times on TCM UK I decided to check it out given its scifiadventurecamp pedigree I knew Id be in for a thoroughly silly ride but it was also astoundingly bad Anyway perhaps appropriately given the characters involved the script rips off many scifi titles then of recent vintage SOYLENT GREEN 1973 ZARDOZ 1974 LOGANS RUN 1976 to the extent that it was filmed on some of the selfsame sets STAR WARS 1977 ALIEN 1979 and MAD MAX 2 THE ROAD WARRIOR 1981 br br The plot is simple but not exactly engaging from the title one can deduce that water has become scarce on the planet where all of this takes place so our ragtag buccaneer heroes take it upon themselves to steal ice blocks from the tyrannical Templar rulers Also involved is a beautiful princess Mary Crosby daughter of Bing in search of her father the deposed king by the way the cast includes another famous offspring Anjelica Huston daughter of John as one of the pirate band thankfully the actress mistake in accepting such a role would soon be forgotten in the wake of her winning an Oscar under her fathers guidance no less for PRIZZIS HONOR 1985 Since STAR WARS had Peter Cushing as the Supreme Commander the filmmakers opted to have a screen legend of their own 78year old John Carradine whos seen strapped to a sort of operating table during his one brief scenebr br The most notable bits for all the wrong reasons are the alien using the toilet the castration machine the clumsy antics including karatestyle combat of the inevitable robot companions the goofy slaveeunuch makeup worn at one point by the heroes the recurring attacks by the space herpies whatever that is the climax in which the characters are made to age when going through a timewarp Crosby becomes pregnant gives birth and sees her son grow up in the space of 30 seconds while leading man Robert Urich himself is replaced by John Ford stalwart Hank Worden for this scene incidentally the jumpcuts adopted here intending to denote the rapid passage of time are not only unsuccessful but downright irritating
371
An excellent documentry I personally remember this growing up in NYC in the early 80s This movie is for anyone that wasnt around during that time periodThis shows the one thing the African American Gay Underclass felt was solely theirs and the love and camadrie you see is real The people are real and sadly few are still alive as this is being written The balls are still held but not to the extent that they were in the the nineteen eighties That time is gone forever This is a good pre homo thug movie When Queens were really proud to be extroverts Goodbye to Storyville this is another era gone but greatly documented all hail film
117
Imagine if you will four teen students have an assignment to spend the night in a haunted house in St Francisville Louisiana to check for the existence of the paranormal If you watch this in the dark and late at night you possibly will have the hair on the back of your neck rise a couple of times Otherwise this mock documentary is a very lazy rip off of BLAIR WITCH PROJECT What is to be dialogue is very lame and the actors are pleasant looking enough but seem to lack genuine personality It seems to take forever before something real spooky even happens This movie is excellent for sleep overs when you have both eyes barely open and everyone is yakin and snackin
124
This is one of those movies where I wish I had just stayed in the barbr br The film is quite frankly boring What story there is is very flimsy and you pretty much have to guess at it The film indulges itself with pretentious camera techniques that seem intent on causing migraines and makes it look like a student film Did I say it was boring already If all the characters had suddenly died at the end of the movie I would not have cared less as I had no emotional attachment to any of thembr br There are about 4 good minutes in this movie but that was about it This is the first time I have ever considered walking out of a cinema during a performance but I held on believing that it had to get better I was wrongbr br The sort of film you could threaten naughty children with
154
I have no idea what these people were thinking when they made this film No plot very limited action and what is with the 3rd person commentary throughout the film Instead of running around the planet to shoot on all of these locations they should have spent some money on script writing and actors What acting there was was lousy This was 90 minutes of my life I will never be able to get back I should bill the director for the cost of renting this film To the director and the writers of this filmplease quit now This film should have a tag on the front of it saying beware of boredom The only good thing I can say about this film is the computer generation Its OK as generation is This movie should never have a sequelever
139
A virtual carbon copy of The Cave save for a fewer lower budget effects and a slightly different plot I knew the movie was going downhill when I saw the fake campfire flikering lights clearly reflected in a facial close up of one of the actors The conflicts between characters and subplots seemed to serve no purpose whatsoever and added nothing to the film except fewer moments of silence The acting wasnt as bad as the typical B movie and there was some believability in their fear but as professional cavers they seem to be too psychologically unstable for their chosen profession Overall not worth wasting 450 to rent
109
I went to see this thinking it would be a great comedy and a comeback for Robin Williams but when I saw it I realized I had bee lied to by advertisers as this is more drama than comedy although it has a few really good laughs in it It felt like I was watching two movies One was a funny romp with Robin Williams that should have been the whole basin for the movie anyway but you also get a techno thriller movie with political angst in the middle I really dont know how to classify this film But I can tell you it was good and I did laugh not as much as I had hoped but at least Williams is back in the right direction See this but know before going it is not all comedy and is a little intense
144
SHRIEKER is a Full Moon production I knew what to expect very little quality but I didnt expect this to be as painful as SHRIEKER was to watchbr br Its just awful Bad acting confusing script and direction Annoying characters I wanted to kill The whole thing was probably made in one week Ive seen episodes of CHARMED that were more complex and convincing than this cheapiebr br It has the look and feel of an orphaned episode of a badly conceived TV series no one has ever seen It was a chore to watch and I could feel my mind getting dimmer and dimmer by the minute Watching a movie shouldnt be this much hard work
117
If you like me is going to see this in a film history class or something like that at your school try to convince your teacher to see something else believe me anything is better than this movie it is slow paced confusing boring poorly constructed gory gringy do I need to go on Its message is good but I have seen them been handled better in several other films The acting isnt even any good This movie is just even more awkward as it start off as being funny not intensional thoughbecause of its surreal story than at the end just becomes uncomfortable to watchbr br I honestly feel like 1 hour and 40 minutes of my life has been robbed Why would anyone want to watch a girls describe a threesome for 10 minutes than watch them drive through a traffic jam for 20 minutes listen to a hippie who can make sheep appear witness a sort of rape than see the female lead role eat her husbandbr br Honestly this movie deserves nothing but a 110 And if your not happy with my previewseriously Im an open minded guy and I like movies that protest through symbolism but this movie was just awful make any excuse you can to avoid this film
215
I really wanted to like this movie but ended up bored and incredulous The first shot is a camera feed from a robot traveling towards a bomb and is naturally shaky But then the rest of the movie stays in shakycam mode even during quiet conversational moments to the point of ridiculousness Have the rental houses run out of tripods and Steadicams The fact that it was shot on 16mm doesnt help as the entire movie is grainy as well as shaky br br For all the effort Bigelow put into accurate vehicles and equipment there are enough glaring errors and inconsistencies that they undermine the movies credibility br br A car would not erupt in flames after a single shot and once engulfed would not be extinguished by a small handheld extinguisher br br A single Humvee would not be driving around Baghdad in 2004 but would be backed up by other vehicles in case of breakdown or attack It would be exceptionally unlikely to be able to hit a running insurgent at long range where the bullet is clearly taking over a second to reach the target br br I believe bombs were brought to designated disposal areas on or near a base not some random spot in the middle of the desert br br The oil tanker attack is stated to have occurred in the Green Zone a highly secure area that experienced very few attacks from within The zone is mostly offices and palaces with few residences yet it is portrayed as a dangerous warren of dark alleys and lurking insurgents Oddly James never gets in trouble for the ridiculous tactic of ordering his two companions to each take an alley by themselves thus setting up the attempted kidnapping br br Speaking of which the 3man team is always depicted clearing buildings chasing insurgents etc on their own even when there are clearly dozens of soldiers right there br br How many hours does the team have to stare at a dead insurgent hanging out a window to figure out hes not faking itbr br There were no establishing shots to show the viewer what the size and layout of the base was or where Baghdad was in relation I had no idea who the EOD team reported to nor were any other characters fleshed out These are things the characters would know so we should toobr br Many of the surprises and scenes are perfectly predictable Yes its obvious that the psychiatrist colonel will get into trouble with the Iraqis hes trying to move along that the choice of cereals back home will be overwhelming and that a driver you kidnapped will not wait for you when you leave the vehiclebr br Finally there was an almost complete lack of character development Renners character from the beginning has a troubled relationship at home is reckless and addicted to adrenalin Hes exactly the same at the end of the movie Whats the pointbr br If this is indeed the best so far of the Iraqi war movies its a sorry bunch Just based on the half hour I saw of it Id recommend Generation Kill on HBO instead
539
Gullivers Travels is at the beginning a satiric novel written by a great misanthropist called Jonathan Swift So it is not recommended to judge of this movie just by itself We must go deeper into Mans conscience to get to the point where Swift would have lead us Gulliver has lived a voyage of truthfulness of solitude of apprehension of what may be his true life We cannot just sit and watch that movie saying it is so cutie or so boring The matter is far beyond that and I would like everyone to expect that This is the greatest movie ever as far as you can feel the truths that emerge from Ted Dansons character the unforgettable Lemuel Gulliver
120
When you go at an open air cinema under the Greek summer night you usually dont care what the movie is Edison started really good with some good effort from the singerswhowanttobe actors and a once again great Morgan Freeman but In a movie there is usually a good start to catch audiencedone a bit boring yet story filling middle of the movie that is more about characters and less about action done and the third part is something really good so that you can remember the movie when you see 30 elite police officers packed with weapons that can demolish a building shoot at a guy behind a car fail to hit him even once while he kills all but 3 and then the guy takes out a flame thrower to kill the rest 3 you realise that the Greek summer sky filled with stars is way too good to be distracted by a movie like this
158
Theodore Rex is possibly the greatest cinematic experience of all time and is certainly a milestone in human culture civilization and artistic expression In this compelling intellectual masterpiece Jonathan R Betuel aligns himself with the great film makers of the 20th century such as Francis Ford Copola Martin Scorcese Orson Welles and Roman Polanski The special effects are nothing less than breathtaking and make any work by Spielberg look trite and elementary At the time of its release Theodore Rex was such a revolutionary gem that it raised the bar of filmmaking to levels never anticipated by film makers The concept of making not just a motion picture featuring a dinosaur but adapting an action packed thrilling detective novel costaring a talking dinosaur with a postmodern name such as Theodore and an existential female police officer changed humanity as we know it The world could never be the same after experiencing such magnificent beauty Watching Theodore Rex is much akin to looking into the face of God and hearing Him say you are my most beloved creation This is one of the few films that is simply TO DIE FOR
190
STAR RATING Saturday Night Friday Night Friday Morning Sunday Night Monday Morning br br Marshall Lawson Steven Seagal is assigned to France on a reconaissance mission along with three new young striketeam recruits after disobeying a direct order from above However the night before theyre due to strike they are all found grusomely slaughtered by a killer with seemingly inhuman strength With the French police dallying around with their own investigation he goes in search of those responsible himself only to uncover a corrupt faction of the military dealing in a deadly new drug that alters a persons DNA and gives them terrifying new strengthbr br Bad cover Bad title Bad postproduction tampering And bad trailer Pretty bad film But Ive got to say I dont think Attack Force is quite his worst I know this will make me unpopular with most of the other reviewers here perhaps not Steveday but I think a lot of the criticism has stemmed from all the bad news that went before the film rather than the actual quality of it itselfbr br I must say there was nowhere near as much dubbing or ropey editing as Id been lead to believe The dubbing there was which made him sound like Martin Sheen with a groin problem was pretty awful and quite frequent but not in use for as large a segment of the film as Id thought The plot flowed pretty smoothly as well considering all the messing about with the original finished film called Harvester that went on Also as another reviewer noted the film has a nice Gothic look to it a new touch for a Seagal filmbr br The absolute killer low point though was the complete and total lack of any exciting action with only a few poorly filmed fight scenes for any funbr br I have to be honest though I would rather watch this again than Flight of Fury Today You Die or Out for a Kill
336
Ive seen this film three times and each time I appreciate it more I think Jordana Brewster should have received an Emmy nomination for her real and natural performance Many of us who were Phoebes age at this time the story takes place will understand how real it is Life for most of us is neither softly glowing romantic or harshly cynical pessimism It is a blurred balance and this film captures this balance It is well constructed too with so many fine details in its composition Like the film or not judging from the extraordinarily high ratings it gets from the demographic of females under 18 we can know that this movie reveals some important truth about how young women see themselves in the world
126
Films starring child actors put themselves on the back foot from the very beginning While there are some exceptions the majority of kids just cant act and even the ones that can normally become annoying after a few minutes The kids in Paperhouse have managed to capture the worst of both worlds as theyre both very annoying and they dont have an ounce of acting ability between them In short theyre rubbish This isnt good considering that theyre the leads and it especially isnt good when you consider the fact that it is virtually impossible to take this film seriously because of the rubbish actors Its a shame that this film is such a dead loss as the plot isnt not completely It follows a young girl who after drawing a picture of a house in her notebook wakes up in the fantasy world that she has created It soon becomes apparent to her that she can manipulate this world through her drawings and so sets about making various changes until her dream eventually becomes a nightmare Oh dearbr br As you can see this plot line gives a nice base for a good fantasy horror movie However it is squandered through a number of fatal faults First and foremost in spite of the premise being an excellent premise for lots of inventiveness the movie is extremely stale The central plot is hardly played with at all and the result is an entirely boring experience The lack of tension is another huge gaping flaw in the movie as it sees fit to drag every sequence out to a point that you just dont care any more which is due to a lack of ideas Thanks in part to its lead characters the film feels like a kids movie throughout This is to be expected as it stars kids but Bernard Rose should have decided the slant that he wanted to put on the story as the horror in the movie is laughable at best The film is also very cheesy and the romance between the two leads is extremely cringeworthy and makes for very painful viewing In fact if I had to sum this travesty up in one word I would choose painful Paperhouse is poorly acted laughably plotted very corny and dull on the whole Save yourself the pain see something else
393
This one acts as a satire during the womens rights movement era Of course that doesnt mean COACH the movie is a wonderful experience to behold It runs into the same vein as FASTBREAK which was better but still tame and is basically standard fare fluff What I mean for this movie being uninteresting is simple to recognize Anybody who serves time away from a normal job by training a bunch of lunatics earning their way to sudden victory makes waste Its the same feeling you may get after watching this A nice attempt at casting the opposite sex for a mans duty but I expected better things
108
Just saw this movie and what a waste of time The movie was predictable and slow Its basically the Mormon bad news bears that play church sanctioned basketball Rather than watching this movie I should have had a root canal The cameo performances were obviously driven by sponsorship funding This movie had potential due to the outrageous behavior that is exhibited by Mormons when they play church sanctioned basketball however because its rated PG the true nature of the spectacle could not be transfered to film The acting is horrible with the exception of Clint Howard and Fred Willard Thurl Baileys appearance in the film was completely unnecessary
109
I picked out this DVD out of the cheepo bin at Walmart because the cover showed one of the planes I flew during VietNam C123k I did not fly for Air America but knew being a C123 pilot I knew a lot who did including those who flew in my Reserve Unit back home I am not a movie critic but wonder about the subliminal motivation of Directors and Writers who make movies like this The best part of this movie has to go to the cameraman The flying shots and stunts although totally cartoon like are excellent The movie begins with Hollywoods favorite fall guy in 1969 But the fact is Nixon did not start Air America he did not begin the lies Johnson was responsible for Air America and Nixon inherited the lies the war and Air America Its not fair or accurate to portray Nixon as a liar on the subject of Air America All Presidents have inherited the lies of their predecessors Nobody smart enough to fly a C123 was dumb enough to not know what they were joining That makes the Downey character unbelievable A C123 was a rugged airplane It could easily fly on one engine or the two auxiliary jet engines The three stooges shooting a duck with one shot is more likely Pilots who flew with Air America were civilian employees of the CIA they were not reckless soldiers of fortune They had a good reason to behave and believe in a future if they survived their extremely dangerous job They were given double time towards a retirement pension They werent required to sell dope or guns to get a good pension Dope was legal and a way of life in SEA as it still is today in Afganistan If individual pilots tried to make money on the side it was not CIA policy The CIA was fighting a war on communism not drugs The writer based his story on war stories Pilots love to BS anybody who will buy them a beer and listen The writer and Director who had an ax to grind about VietNam and Nixon See the movie and remember how it starts it blames Nixon for what existed for years Remember he didnt become President until Jan 20 1969br br My favorite scene is the landing up hill in the jungle Air America pilots put planes in places the aircraft designers never thought possible Their were plenty of funny stories that could have been shown Instead the Director chose to use the oversize rubber scene to show how dumb the CIA was This scene shows that the Director and writer fell for some pilot bar talk and the joke is on them br br MDS Fort Valley Virginia
462
Sweeping drama with great sets costumes and performances though some folks are channeling Rhett Scarlett Melanie and even Lady Macbeth Patrick Swayze and James Read are excellent as two men trying to maintain a friendship despite the ties of family and location Splendid villains youll want them all to come to a very bad end Lots of strong female characters in this one both good and bad Secondary story lines also are well developed Several cameos by major stars of past eras Good representation of history and conflicts for those caught between friendship and politics br br Curl up on a rainy day with your DVD or VHS player and drink of choice with this one A lap rug and a cat would be optional
128
My friend recommended this movie to meIs should have known not to watch it because my friend is kind of a video game nerd But the name and the cover made it look good for some reason I was so wrong I mean first of all what is up with their suits And the acting It seems like they got the people off Barney Except for Ben Kingsley And why was he even in this movie Did he think it was a comedy But I have to say the special effects were pretty good But that was like the only good thing in it I mean seriously the movie is worse than Pearl Harbor And thats actually an understatement Everyone must have thought oh I am getting paid so it doesnt matter if its the worst movie in the world I would understand why someone would make this kind of movie if they were directing acting producing writing and getting their hopeless life best friend to do filming and editing Probably one of the worst scifi movies ever One truly jacked up film
183
I wont lie I rented this film because it was an arty film with some possible explicit sex I got that scene and Catherine Deneuves briefly shown breasts but the rest of the film is just the usual long pretentious European art films with lines like Did I have a mother or father I dont know paraphrased Usually delivered in long soliloquiesbr br If you are curious about the transition of art to porn might be an interesting look with use of the fast forward button I was still too slow
91
The plot of this terrible film is so convoluted Ive put the spoiler warning up because Im unsure if Im giving anything away The audience first sees some man in Jack the Ripper garb murder an old man in an alley a hundred years ago Then were up to modern day and a young Australian couple is looking for a house Were given an unbelievably long tour of this house and the husband sees a figure in an old mirror Some 105 year old woman lived there There are also large iron panels covering a wall in the den An old fashioned straightrazor falls out when theyre renovating and the husband keeps it I guess he becomes possessed by the razor because he starts having weird dreams Oh yeah the couple is unable to have a baby because the husband is firing blanks br br Some mold seems to be climbing up the wall after the couple removes the iron panels and the mold has the shape of a person Late in the story there is a plot about a large cache of money the husband murders the body guard a coworker and steals the money His wife is suddenly pregnant br br What the hell is going on Who knows NOTHING is explained Was the 105 year old woman the child of the serial killer The baby sister WHY were iron panels put on the wall How would that keep the serial killer contained in the cellar Was he locked down there by his family starved to death or just concealed WHO is Mr Hobbs and why is he so desperate to get the iron panels Hes never seen again WHY was the serial killer killing people We only see the one old man murdered Was there a pattern or motive or something WHY does the wife suddenly become pregnant Is it the demon spawn of the serial killer Has he managed to infiltrate the husbands semen And why if the husband was able to subdue and murder a huge burly security guard is he unable to overpower his wife And just how powerful is the voltage system in Australia that it would knock him across the room simply cutting a light wire And why does the wife stay in the house Is she now possessed by the serial killer Is the baby going to be the killer reincarnated br br This movie was such a frustrating experience I wanted to call my PBS station and ask for my money back The ONLY enjoyable aspect of this story was seeing the husband running around in just his boxer shorts for a lot of the time but even that couldnt redeem this muddled incoherent mess
458
After watching the first movie in BCIs new Aztec Mummy Collection its difficult to believe how excited I was about the set and how upset I was when the release date was pushed back Ive watched a lot of Mexican horror in recent months Some great The Curse of the Crying Woman Some entertaining despite obvious flaws Night of the Bloody Apes And some Cheesy Pick any Santo movie One thing that all these movies have in common is that none can be called dull Well thats not the case with The Aztec Mummy Its been awhile since I last watched something so sleep inducing I wasnt hoping for or expecting a great movie but at least entertain me The Aztec Mummy takes every situation that could be interesting and sucks the life out of it through repeated scenes of people doing nothing and then extending those scenes for what fells like an eternity I guess thats what happens when you make an 80 minute movie with only 30 minutes of material Padding extraordinaire For example for anyone who has seen the movie what purpose does The Bat have other than to bring a masked wrestler type to the screen and to extend the runtime by 15 or so pointless minutes br br I can only hope that the other two movies in The Collection are more entertaining than this one
234
Loosely intended as a satire of DW Griffiths Intolerance The Three Ages was Buster Keatons first attempt at a full length comedy feature The only similarities to Intolerance are the opening book scene and the fact that similar stories through the ages are edited together into a complete film Keatons reasoning for appropriating this style was that if it didnt succeed as a feature film it could be reduced to three tworeelers Fortunately The Three Ages succeeds brilliantly as a comedy and contains some of the funniest routines Ive seen in any of Keatons film There is nothing unique or daring about the story lines They are simple boymeetsgirl boylosesgirl boygetsgirl plots but the period satires are riotous and set the standard for future works by Mel Brooks and all films of this genre However I dont believe that anyone has ever topped this comedy No one can play the lovable goof like Keaton and the stunts in this film are some of his best In addition Wallace Beerys appearance as Keatons rival adds to this films appeal Anyone who thinks that comedy from the 1920s cannot be appreciated by modern audiences needs to see this movie
197
I was really surprised when I came across this movie on cable TV a couple of years ago The story is a wonderful example of how our land keeps changing and the fight to hang on to it and use it according to need Conflicting desires of the people and the Government The actors were fantastic in their portrayals and I absolutely fell in love with Tantoo Cardinalshe is so believable and was such a character in this movie as was Rip Torn The story was also a love story about the land the past and between the 2 main characters I have tried to buy this film and have been unable to locate itbut I would sure would love to own it
123
This is without a doubt the single worst movie ever created Theres no arguing here This is it End of story The story is juvenile and submoronic looking like it was created by a threeyearold fascinated with dinosaurs The entire concept is just plain dumb Its inconceivable how someone could possibly come up with something so stupid and think it was entertaining The jokes are also completely lame If you havent seen this movie yet consider yourself lucky If your morbidly curious as to how bad this movie is please dont make me describe it Words cant express how completely awful this movie is This isnt just bad as in being a bad movie Even those have cohesion if not entertainment value This This is Ugh Think of the worst story ever told and multiply its badness level by 5000 and you still havent come close to how awful this movie is After giving Pokemon the Movie one point giving this movie one point seems like nothing short of charity Thats how bad it is Did the producers and directors even take film classes Because this is a perfect example of how not to make a film It looks like some amateur high on paint thinner made this film If you rented this please take it back and ask for a refund And dont even think about renting it again
234
If this book remained faithful to the book then we can only assume that the author was ignorant of history Mark Anthony never died of injuries obtained in battle as depicted He died a cowards death by committing suicide and even then he asked his slave to do it for him The slave chose to kill himself instead In the real story Mark Anthony was ashamed by the slaves great valor and decided to copy him But even in death Mark Anthony was a drunken failure and failed at his own suicide attempt He cried out for Cleopatra and was taken to her bleeding She hauled his litter up on ropes and Mark Anthony died a while later If you want history dont watch this movie If you want romantic drivel then you will probably enjoy it
137
Man To Man tries hard to be a good movie it has its heart at the right place it aspires to be epic and it has a message that no doubt everybody will appreciate But there lies also some of the problems of this picture It strives so hard to be good and to get its message across that sometimes the viewer must feel unchallenged So it is only adequate that the images which are used by this picture are simplistic Man To Man doesnt let the viewer decide what he thinks is right but is hammering its message in his head Joseph Fiennes exemplifies this in his role he does his best to look concerned genuinely moved and all the other emotions you can express with the single one facial expression his repertoire has to offer Add that the movie is overlong and loses its speed towards the end you would be easily led to the conclusion that Man To Man is not worth watching But there are enough points to defend it it is entertaining has some humorous scenes and the showstealing Kristin Scott Thomas Of course you should not compare it to humanistic masterpieces like The Elephant Man David Lynch but youll be leaving the theatre satisfied It tries to grab your heart even if your brain thinks that it is too obvious and succeeds most of the time
233
Murder in Mesopotamia I have always considered one of the better Poirot books as it is very creepy and has an ingenious ending There is no doubt that the TV adaptation is visually striking with some lovely photography and a very haunting music score As always David Suchet is impeccable as Hercule Poirot the comedic highlight of the episode being Poirots battle with a mosquito in the middle of the night and Hugh Fraser is good as the rather naive Captain Hastings The remainder of the cast turn in decent performances but are careful not to overshadow the two leads a danger in some Christie adaptations Some of the episode was quite creepy a juxtaposition of an episode as tragic as Five Little Pigs an episode that I enjoyed a lot more than this one What made it creepy in particular putting aside the music was when Louise Leidner sees the ghostly face through the window About the adaptation it was fairly faithful to the book but I will say that there were three things I didnt like The main problem was the pacing it is rather slow and there are some scenes where very little happens I didnt like the fact also that they made Joseph Mercado a murderer In the book I see him as a rather nervous character but the intervention of the idea of making him a murderer and underdeveloping that made him a less appealing character though I am glad they didnt miss his drug addiction I also noticed that the writers left out the fact that Mrs Mercado in the book falls into hysteria when she believes she is the murderers next victim The other thing that wasnt so impressive was that I felt that it may have been more effective if the adaptation had been in the viewpoint of Amy Leatheran like it was in the book Amy somehow seemed less sensitive in the adaptation On the whole despite some misjudgements on the writers behalf I liked Murder in Mesopotamia 710 Bethany Cox
340
There have been some low moments in my life when I have been bewildered and depressed Sitting through Rancid Aluminium was one of thesebr br The warning signs were there No premiere even the stars didnt want to attend and no reviews in magazines The only reason I sat through the film was in the hope that I might catch up on some sleepbr br Nothing in the film was explained The narration was idiotic I cheered at one point when the lead of the film appeared to have been shot then to my growing despair it was revealed that he hadnt really been shot dampening my joy I sincerely hope all involved in the film are hanged for this atrocity br br There were some positive aspects mainly unintentional moments of humour For example the scene in which the main character for some unknown reason feels the need to relieve himself manually in a toilet cubicle while telling the person in the next cubicle to put his fingers in his earsbr br My words cannot explain the anger I feel so I shall conclude thusbr br Rancid Aluminium for sadists wastrels and regressives only who want to torture themselves
200
This was a great movie that had a lot of under lying issues It dealt with issues of rascism and class But it also had a message of knowing yourself and taking responsibility for yourself This movie was very deep it gave the message of that you and only you can control your destiny It also showed that knowing yourself and being comfortable with who you are is the only way you will ever fit into society What others think of you is not important I believe this movie did a wonderful job of showing it The actors I think were able to convey each character wonderfully I just thought it was amazing how deep this movie really was At a just glancing look you wouldnt see how deep the movie is but on further look you see the underlining meaning of the movie
144
This movie and I say this lightly is nothing but pure trash I feel sorry for those people that actually wasted their money to go see this in theatersI saw a screener of the movie from a friend and Ive regretted it ever since br br As a black woman I am EXTREMELY embarrassed to have seen this More so I am extremely horrified that people of other races may have seen this as well and might believe it to be behavior of black people in general Its full of stereotypes against all nationalities and genders horribly vulgar coarse jokes and lame oneliners bleated out by somewhat well known African American comedians who should have known better after reading this script I must also mention the numerous rap and hip hop singersrappers that populate the movie like it was an overlong music videothey had absolutely no place in the movie I guess they were the Jiving Singing Minstrels HORRIBLE br br The writers producers and whoever had the stupidity to fund this movie should all be shot or locked in a room and forced to look at this crap nonstop for the rest of their lives DONOTWATCHTHIS MOVIE Its time wasted out of your life that you can never get back
212
Saying a film is depressing isnt necessarily a bad thing Im very willing to watch a depressing film if there is a point to be made and this one certainly has one Its the often heartbreaking story of a Chinese man and his family as they experience many years of both hardship and plenty BUT I must warn you that this might just be about the most depressing film to come out of Hollywood in the 1930sbecause peasant life in China was TOUGH to say the least Be prepared to watch segments about famine death and diseasebr br About the only negative other than the persistent tone of misery is that the lead is played by Paul Muni While he was an exceptionally talented man its just a real shame that Hollywood always cast people of European descent to play Asian leads during this era If you are paying attention at all its pretty obvious that Muni is wrong for the part
162
Remembering the dirty particulars of this insidiously vapid movie is akin to digging into your chest cavity with a rusty salted spoon Perhaps Home Alone 2 Lost in New York 1992 was a bit on the predictable side but this pathetic excuse for a film is just one of the most shameless bids at commercialization I have ever heard of A boy fighting off spiesterrorists when hes home alone in a Chicago suburb with the chickenpox Ridiculous Why did this film have to be made I am the kind of person who believes even terrible movies are not wastes of time but rather learning experiences However this is actually a waste of time It should be avoided at all costs
120
I think vampire movies usually are wicked Even if the film itself isnt all that good I still like it cos its got vampires in it But this stinks It really does give vampire movies a bad namebr br For a start the cheapness really shows Im not usually that bothered about low budget films one of my favourite alltime movies is El Mariachi which only cost 7000 but I hate this The actions a load of crap as well resorting to a stylish wobbling camera which gives you headachebr br Theres not much more to say other than dont watch this I bought it for 150 as it was an exrental and I feel cheated out of my money even for that low price
127
Topless touch football A wet tshirt contest A jockstrap raid This SheAnimal House has it all Except a plot and good actors The film consists of several pranks and catfights between the HOTS girls and the bitchy PI house The dialouge is a scream and the soundtrack is sublimely brilliant Over the past couple of months its been popping up all over cable so do yourself a favor and watch out for it HOTS is so bad its good
79
Went to watch this movie expecting a nothing really much action flick still got very disappointed The opening scene promised a little action with a tinge of comedy It keeps you hooked for the first half coz till then you are expecting that now its time for the action to kick in Well nothing of that sort happens The movie drags and the ending just thumps you down to a point that you get annoyedWonder what was the director thinking Made no sense watsoever The movie lacked in all aspects had no real storyline and it seemed very hollow even if Rambo was in it I dont think he could have helped the rating at all There is simply no logic to the movie A perfect way to waste your time and money By far the most irritating movie i have ever seen and i am sure there will b others wholl have the same viewpoint after enduring it Definitely not for people who have a little movie sense left in them
172
I wasted 35 minutes of my life on this turkey before I gave up The main character is completely clueless and astoundingly unsympathetic but there is no humor in his blundering As soon as he arrives in Germany the screenwriter pulls the old theres only one room in the hotel youll have to share a room with a pretty girl stunt Come on at least you could let them develop their relationship a bit first Watch It Happened One Night to see how to do it rightor any of a thousand movies since thenbr br The acting is consistently thirdrate and the improvised dialogue should have been left on the cuttingroom floor It meanders with no plan at all despite the fact that the film telegraphs the relationships destination from the moment Greta is introducedbr br The first song in the boardroom is mildly funny but badly sung The rest of the songs well to be fair I only heard those in the first halfhour are just pointless and awful Most of the singers are painfully out of tune but not in any intentionally humorous sort of way
188
This movie is a haunting telling of the life of the author and poet Mishima It jumps around through his past through his last day and through some of his stories but is expertly constructed as it moves from section to section It captures the flavor of the man his work and of his timesthe difficult 1960sbr br I think the most wonderful parts literally full of wonder are the excerpts from his works The sets especially designed to work with the camera are amazingstylized beautiful and effective They could be used as exemplars for any set designer I woke up at night dreaming of the Golden Pagoda br br The stories were powerful explorations of the nature of man and of art After watching this film I wanted to learn more about the works of this artistbr br I highly recommend this movie for anyone interested in art poetry theater politics or Japanese history
155
Nicolas Mallet is a failure A teller in a bank everyone walks all over him Then his friend a writer whos books no one likes has a plan to change his life Our hero tells his boss he is quitting He intends to spend the rest of his life making a great deal of money and sleeping with a great many women And he manages to do just thatbr br If it were not for the amount of death murdersuicidenatural causes in the film this would be a farce There are numerous jabs at marriage politics journalism andlifebr br JeanLouis Trintignant is a likable amoral rogue Romy Schneider is at her most appealing Definitely worth a look
117
The case is the best part of the movie but it alone is not worth the purchase price I expected a Based on the true story movie only to find a shot on home video hodgepodge of poorly shot clips tied together with pathetic acting and nonrelated slaughter house scenes The video scenes had numerous rewind situations which were used probably to extend the length of the feature rather than for effects I started this review before I was even halfway through the movie and waited till it was over just in case it had a better ending but low and behold it only got worse If I could mark it any lower it would have been a negative ten Learn from my mistake and save your money and time with this one
133
Dirty Harry goes to Atlanta is what Burt called this fantastic firstrate detective thriller that borrows some of its plot from the venerable Dana Andrews movie Laura Not only does Burt Reynolds star in this superb saga but he also helmed it and he doesnt make a single mistake either staging the action or with his casting of characters Not a bad performance in the movie and Reynolds does an outstanding job of directing it Henry Silva is truly icy as a hitmanbr br Detective Tom Sharky Burt Reynolds is on a narcotics case in underground Atlanta when everything goes wrong He winds up chasing a suspect and shooting it out with the gunman on a bus During the melee an innocent bystander dies John Woos The Killer replicates this scene Anyway the Atlanta Police Department busts Burt down to Vice and he takes orders from a new boss Frisco Charles Durning of Oh Brother Where Art Thou in the basement Sharky winds up in a real cesspool of crime Sharky and his fellow detectives Arch Bernie Casey and Papa Brian Keith set up surveillance on a highpriced call girl Dominoe Rachel Ward of After Dark My Sweetwho has a luxurious apartment that she shares with another girlbr br Dominoe is seeing a local politician Hotchkins Earl Holliman of Police Woman on the side who is campaigning for governor but the chief villain Victor Vittorio Gassman of The Dirty Game wants him to end the affair Hotchkins is reluctant to accommodate Victor so Victor has cocaine snorting Billy Score Henry Silva of Wipeoutterminate Dominoe Billy blasts a hole the size of a twelve inch pizza in the door of Dominoes apartment and kills herbr br Sharky has done the unthinkable During the surveillance he has grown fond of Dominoe to the point that he becomes hopelessly infatuated with her Sharkys mission in life now is to bust Victor but he learns that Victor has an informant inside the Atlanta Police Department The plot really heats up when Sharky discovers later that Billy shot the wrong girl and that Dominoe is still alive Sharky takes her into protective custody and things grow even more complicated He assembles his Machine of the title to deal with Victor and his hoodsbr br William Frakers widescreen lensing of the action is immaculate Unfortunately this vastly underrated classic is available only as a fullframe film Fraker definitely contributes to the atmosphere of the picture especially during the mutilation scene on the boat when the villains cut off one of Sharkys fingers This is a rather gruesome scenebr br Burt never made a movie that surpassed Sharkys Machine
442
This is going to be the most useless comment I have ever put down but yet I must do it to warn you about the atrocity to cinema that Freddys Dead is It is not only the very worst chapter of the Nightmare series but is right up there with the worst horror sequel of all time It was boring pointless and nearly death free The horrible 3D ending and overthetop CORNY kills are enough to drive this film into the ground However it doesnt stop there just add bad acting a terrible script and a number of cheesy cameos and youve got yourself this heaping pile of guano Its no wonder why Freddy as always played by Robert Englund has made two postmortem appearances I would too if I went out like that This is a strictly fans only movie dont stare at our shame
146
Loulou delights in the same way an expensive high quality French wine does It leaves you with a very fine aftertastebr br Loulous theme isnt new The film doesnt carry an original plot either Its colored picturing shows fine but not extraordinary Its setting is serious Its elegant styling never and nowhere puts any weight on your mindbr br Whatever one further may say about Loulou its beyond doubt that this very French film stands out for its excellent acting The three leads convincingly reflect all numerous doubts and tenses sparkling between them making the plot alive Their acting fully invites you to participate to make friendsbr br For those around at the time Loulou also provides an extra bonus its perfectly captured mood of 1980
126
This documentary is as unique as its subject And while DAmatos staple was erotica the film manages to show some decent clips of the films you may remember from old time late night Cinemax One problem Joe did hardcore porno at times mixed with softcore erotica even mixed in his gore films The gore films are cult classics going for like 20 a pop for a dubbed copy on the net not peanuts for 20 year old films folks I want to see why those are cult classics Also as sweet as Joe seems he did seem more elegant than one might expect the dude liked to shock Both Caligula The Untold Story and Emanuelle in America show us hardcore rape snuff and beastiality in both youd be suprised how far he goes in Caligula II with that one if you can track down an uncut print Although these scenes may be disconforting in a documentary of a persons career hey he did it Also I would have liked to see more interviews of people Joe worked with Maybe thats just me wanting to see what Laura Gemser looks like these days I still think shes a goddess and one of the sexiest women ever to grace the genre
209
This movie is about a man who likes to blow himself up on gas containersbr br He also loves his mommy So to keep the money coming in he takes his act to Broadwaybr br SEE CODY POWERS JARRETT BLOW HIMSELF UP ON HIS BIGGEST GAS CONTAINER YET TONIGHT 730PM br br However one day his mommy dies and Jarrett goes berserk He kidnaps the audience in the theatre and makes them all stand on top of a huge gas cylinderbr br Losing control further he makes them all scream MADE IT MA TOP OF THE CYLINDER in unisonbr br The noise is so deafening that it bursts Jarrets eardrums causing him to topple from the cylinder into a vat of acidbr br This Warner Bros movie is not all its cracked up to be
135
I started watching this because I was looking for a nice background comedy for my Sunday morning Then I noticed that this was going to be a roadmovie and I decided to actually watch thisbr br First 15 minutes were awful but I wanted to give this a chance because I never judge a movie without watching it throughly Then things started to get little better This seemed like a nice roadmovie about friendship But then the movie started to get horrible predictable clichtwists and when the movie was over it left you feeling like you had wasted your time Did this have anything to say Why did they even make a movie like this And I wasnt expecting a modern Citizen Kane but still I have several ideas how this movie could have been improvedbr br So take my piece of advice leave this alone and go watch a real roadmovie There are many of those I wont make the directors of those movies seem bad by putting their names on this reviewbr br 110
176
This was one of the shows that I wanted to followup on But Id just couldnt bring myself on devoting my time to this show To have a show that centers on the topic of politics you really need a strong plot with twists and turns to enhance the mood of the show something like The West Wing or CommanderinChief Rob Lowe was OK but actors like Kyle Chandler just couldnt act he was awful in Early Edition It was a pain to sit through this show With its lack of suspense urgency and characters who can actually act I just had to give up on this show and am glad it was canceled so I would have nothing more to missbr br Grade D
125
Colorful westernbr br Wyoming cowboy James Stewart moseys on up to the Yukon Territory to dig for gold sell his steers and try to get a date with pretty saloonowner Ruth Roman if he can shake the tail of crooked sheriff John McIntire who wants Stewarts cattle Beautiful cinematography in a collaborative effort by William Fritzsche and Bill Daniels Good Technicolor adventure from UniversalInternational directed by Anthony Mannbr br Also starring Corinne Calvet Connie Gilchrist and Walter Brennan as Stewarts sidekick
81
This movie i totally not funny and I would imagine to be pretty offensive to Jewish people and I am not Jewish Why First the whole movie portray the protagonist Zucker as a liercheat running shady business and deals while his son is gay his daughter is lesbian and his niece is a slut Then there is the incestuous relationship that happens in the family first his daughter with his Joshua and Jana and then his son with his niece Two incestuous relationship running in family I am surprised they didnt add the plot of having a mentally disabled in the familyNow that would really complete the Nazi ideal subhuman gay lesbian Jewbr br Totally disgusting film I am surprised this film gets no response from any Jewish community
129
Its always a pleasure to see characters in a movie who are wholly goodhearted and wellintentioned even when theyre surrounded by those who are neither The films moderately silly premise is that the conservative religious Franklin family mother father teen boy and girl are involved in an accident wherein the parents and brother have a neardeath experience during which they meet Jesus a pleasant but somewhat exasperated soul who removes from them the burden of original sin When they return to their lives many of their views and attitudes have changed much to the consternation of the daughter who didnt share the experience The religious side is I think presented with a good balance from the good Jesus to the starkly awful those of his followers who are obsessed with the sins of others and utterly oblivious to their own Its a movie to make you think give you a few good laughs along the way and leave you with the pleasant feeling that the world just might be a nicer place than you think it is
177
Problem Child was an okay movie but did it really merit a sequel I dont think it did The original movies only redeeming asset was Gilbert Gottfried and he wasnt even good in this sequelbr br I cant really put my finger on why this movie was bad For starters it just wasnt funny Even when I saw this as a nineyearold I didnt sympathize with Junior Michael Oliver at all His character came off to me as whiny selfloathing and perhaps most importantly a rebel without a clue He appeared to hate every woman that his father Ben John Ritter dated for the sole sake of hating them It also doesnt send a good message to kids with divorced parents who constitute over half children in the US these days when the one woman Ben decides to almost marry is a Southern aristocrat who is vindictive and who happens to hate children as it isbr br And as cool as I thought it would have been to see original SNL cast mate Laraine Newman come back to the big screen she couldnt even save this movie I also found it strange that she was a white Southern dbutante whose name was Lawanda That sounds more like an AfricanAmerican womans name But of course that has nothing to do with why I disliked this moviebr br I think the movie didnt work because you had antagonists you were supposed to hate along with protagonists you werent supposed to hate John Ritters character was supposed to be a good parent who tried desperately to teach his child right from wrong without conforming to authoritative parenting Instead he came off not only as a wimpy parent but also one who was desperate to find a wife in a matter of days regardless of how well he knew the woman Did I mention this sends a bad message to children of divorced parentsbr br In a nutshell the rest of the things that went wrong with this movie included Amy Yasbeck unnecessary and unexplained return to play an entirely different character that young girl who was even more obnoxious than Junior completely uncalled for toilet humor and even more outrageous and outdated homophobic humor involving the dog catchers The movie was just a mess and really doesnt deserve a DVD release if it hasnt been given one already It should just rot on VHS along with all the other bad forgettable 90s comedies
410
Warning Spoilers Galorebr br Tim Burton remaking this sui generis movie is about as sensible as remaking Psycho oh thats right some idiot already did that I rest my casebr br Movie opens with chimpnaut blundering a simulation proving hes not that smart from the outset Marky Mark appears in shot without his characteristic underpants showing then is turned down by a plain woman who prefers the touch of chimpanzeesbr br The perfunctory establishing shot of the space station orbiting Saturn for no apparent reason interior of ship abustle with genetic experiments on apes Must we travel 1300 million kilometers to Saturn to conduct these experiments The special effects team decrees itbr br Markys chimp gets lost in that staple of 60s scifi cinema the Time Warp Marky then demonstrates the space stations mindboggling security ineptness by stealing a pod without anyone noticing while simultaneously demonstrating his abject stupidity in mounting a deepspace rescue mission into a wormhole for an expendable test chimp with a million dollar vehicle with limited fuel and oxygen suppliesbr br Before anyone can say `Pointless Remake Marky has surfed the wormhole crashed on an alien planet removed his helmet without any thought to the lethality of the atmosphere and is being chased through a sound stage that almost resembles a lush rainforest if it werent for the kliegs backlighting the plastic treesbr br Surprise Its APES doing the chasing or at least it would have been a surprise if no one saw Planet Of The Apes THIRTYTHREE YEARS AGObr br Since Marky Mark did not get to show his pecs take down his pants or bust his lame whiteboy rap he was characterless Michael Clarke Duncans gorilla teeth being inserted crookedly helped immensely in establishing his lack of character Helena BonhamCarter aka irritating chimp activist at a loss without a Shakespearean script did a fine job of outdoing both Marky and Clarke as Most Cardboard Cutout Paul Giamatti the orangutan slave trader secured the role of token comic relief and interspecies klutz Though I have grown bilious in hearing puns relating to this movie one review headline captured the essence of this Planet Of The Apes `reimagining `The Apes Of Roth While everyone else minced about looking like extras from One Million Years BC or Greystoke Tim Roth as Chimpanzee Thade chews massive amounts of scenery and hurls kaka splendiferously As entertaining as his portrayal of the psychotic Thade was his character lacked a behavioral arc Thade is mad when we first meet him and hes pretty much at the same level of mad at films end Nice twistbr br The original POTA 1968 featured a leading character Charlton Hestons Taylor who was so disenchanted with mankind that he left earth for space with no regrets yet as that film progressed Taylor unwittingly found himself locked in a battle to prove mankinds worth as their sole champion The original film was ultimately a tale of humiliation not salvation when Taylor discovers the Statue of Liberty he is forced to realize that his species had NOT prevailed Is there anything that cerebral or ironic to Marky Marks Leo Or Roths Thade No but theres lots of runningbr br The slogans cry Take Back The Planet but its the APES planet In this movie humans and apes crashlanded here together the humans having degenerated to cavepeople allowing the apes to acquire speech and sensual body armor the apes DESERVED to inherit the planet Along comes Marky Mark in true anthropocentric arrogance taking it for granted that humans HAVE to be the apex predators simply because theyre there `Taking it back is as ludicrous as apes landing here in 2001 complaining `A planet where men evolved from APES and then causing trouble with their overacting and hairy anusesbr br Heston was cast in the 1968 POTA because he had established his reputation as a maverick he WAS BenHur Michelangelo Moses To cast him as the mute dogged animal in an alien society was to stupefy an audiences expectations how crazed must a world be where Our Man Charlton cannot command respect Marky Mark has currently only established that he has tight underpantsbr br Though Heston was denigrated constantly by the ape council he dominated the screen with his charisma and stupendous overacting When Marky Mark tries to instill fervor in the mongoloid humans its like that unpopular guy in school suddenly being made classroom monitor who tells you to stop drawing penises on the blackboard and you throw a shoe at him Burton tries to elevate Marky to humanitys icon but he comes off as a chittering deviant In the original film the apes deem Taylor a deviant yet he was to audience and apes alike an icon of humanity That irony againbr br It was apt that a man who elevated scenechewing to an acting technique Heston should play the father of this films primo scenechewer Thaddeus Roth As Roths apedad Charlton utters his own immortal lines turned against the HUMANS this time `Damn them Damn them all to hellbr br The movie gets dumb and dumber towards the end While Thaddeus is giving Marky an assbeating lesson a pod descends from on high with Markys chimpnaut in it Apes demonstrate their hebetude by bowing in obeisance to this incognizant creature while Marky proves his own hebetude by muttering `Lets teach these monkeys about evolution Firstly theyre not monkeys you ape Secondly it was genetic tampering and imbecilic plot fabrications which brought the apes to this point not evolution And what you intend to teach them by blowing them away with the concealed lasergun is called misanthropy not evolutionbr br Giving away the twist ending would only confuse viewers into believing that Estella Warrens halfnekkid role was actually integral to the plot be still my pantsbr br No matter that he was humankinds last underpanted hope in the end cop apes take Marky away to Plot Point Prison where he was last heard ululating `Its a madhouse A MADHOUSE
1,010
WOW Pretty terrible stuff The Richard BurtonElizabeth Taylor roadshow lands in Sardinia and hooks up with arty director Joseph Losey for this remarkably illconceived Tennessee Williams fiasco Taylor plays a rich dying widow holding fort over her minions on an island where she dictates very loudly her memoirs to an incredibly patient secretary When scoundrel Burton shows up claiming to be a poet and old friend Taylor realizes her time is up Ludicrious in the extreme its difficult to determine if Taylor and Burton are acting badly OR if it was Williams intention to make their characters so unappealing If thats the case then the acting is brilliant Burton mumbles his lines including the word BOOM several times while Taylor screeches hers Shes really awful So is Noel Coward as Taylors catty confidante the Witch of Capri br br Presumably BOOM is about how fleeting time is and how fast life moves along two standard Williams themes but its so misdirected by Losey that had Taylor and Burton not spelled it out for the audience during their mostly inane monologues any substance the film has would have been completely diluted br br BOOM does have stunning photographythe camera would have to have been out of focus to screw up the beauty of Sardinia The supporting cast features Joanna Shimkus the great Romolo Valli as Taylors resourceful doctor and Michael Dunn as her nasty dwarf security guardboth he and his dogs do a number on Burton
247
Spend your time any other way even housework is better than this movie The jokes arent funny the fun rhymes that are Dr Seus arent there A very lousy way to waste an evening My kids 416 laughed a little at the beginning the younger ones got bored with it and left to play Barbies and the older ones left to play ps2 and surf the net My wife left and did dishes So I finished it alone It was the worst kids movie I have seen If you want to watch a fun kids movie watch Shrek 2 that movie is fun for kids and their parents AVOID THIS MOVIE It isnt funny isnt cute the cats makeup is about the only good thing in it and you can see that on the disc label
136
First of all I must admit Batman The animated series is the best batman series by far We watched it when it used to be on TV I didnt realize that there was a season four Actually there wasnt BTAS ends with season 3 and it should have stopped therebr br Why did they have to mess with a good thing Catwoman and Poison ivy now have terrible grey faces The Joker looks beyond scary it seems that each time they revise his appearance he looks more and more creepier He doesnt seem to have pupils anymore and now he doesnt even look remotely human although he isbr br Bruce Wayne is voiced by Kevin Conroy who does the best batman Although he now looks like superman There is nothing that sets him apart because they both look the same Bruce Wayne now has blue eyesbr br Night Wing really needs a haircut please Alfred just has pupils from eyes looks more like a character from the 80sbr br I have watched three episodes from Disc 1 in the series and I already find that this version is more violent and graphic there is blood in every episodebr br If you are a fan of Batman The animated series there is no batman season 4 They just included this series as season 4 for marketability If they just released it as The New batman adventures I dont think as many people would have bought itbr br Save yourself the disappointment and stick to seasons 13
255
typically a movie can have factors like arousing good feel sense of purpose plot etc Theres always something that can be taken out of movies its just a matter of how compelling the reason is for me to own it in my collection Tale of two sisters as they call it when it was released in my country has tremendous feel and an eventually mostly selfexplaining plot i love horror movies that revolve around a house titles that come to mind are The Others The Haunting The haunting of Hell House this movie will be a another great example that i will remember the movie had extremely rich colour in the way the house was decorated in the clothes that the characters wore in the openskied daylight scenes that is in contrast to most horror movies which typically makes use of desaturated tones and gloomy environs think Honogurai mizu no soko kara Dark Water which is another show i like that gives this film a sense of aesthetics and joy when it wasnt in its more gripping moments the characters are extremely believable this may be partly attributed to the familiar setting of this movie maybe domestic issues are easier for both myself as well as the actors to identify with and the actors become their characters with exceptional finesse the director toys with timelines in order to give the audience the story in bits and pieces allowing them to come to their own terms of interpretation instead of presenting everything in a linear fashion this is a positive aspect of this film in my opinion and perhaps it is my interpretation of this movie that allows me to find it enjoyable i would definitely look out for this on DVD
291
yes barney is nonsense now but when i was a kid it made perfect sensebr br i havent gotten any smarter but i enjoyed it as a child i was mocked because no one could say my name so i changed it ever since i was 4 Ive gone by the name Tina from barney because i could relate to her being from a different culture im 17 now and barney is a huge part of my life my name came from it i cant dis the show i grew up with no matter how stupid it seems nowbr br i dont care if i get blocked i have nothing more to say they shouldnt make the minimum 10 lines because some people just dont have much to say OK done
132
The Commenter before me stated this movie is the worst that was ever forced upon himher as a child I have to say though that I loved this movie when was little and I still love it today The movie has the best running theme of allfamily togetherness Considering the time period the movie was released I thought the movie was acted out well I only wish I could still find a copy of it somewhere Of all the 1980s films I watched as a kid this was on of my favorites I know I probably watched it at least once a week with my brother and my mom I would definitely recommend it to anyone I knowor dont know So if you do find a copy of it I suggest watching it Its wonderful and heartwarming
137
while watching this piece of crap The Day after I saw a 1min Trailer that one minute included all ALL what was at least not boring to watchbr br so dont waste money or time on this one get the original its much better though the effects might not be up to date
54
Another one of those films you hear about from friends or read about on IMDb Not many false notes in this one I could see just about everything here actually happening to a young girl fleeing from a deadend home town in Tennessee to Florida with all her worldly possessions in an old beatenup carbr br The heroine Ruby makes some false starts but learns from them I found myself wondering why why didnt she lean a bit more on Mikes shoulder butshe has her reasons as it turns outbr br Just a fine film The only thing I dont much like about it I think is the title
109
This was a very disappointing movie I would definitely call this the worst movie of all timebr br The acting and writing were poor And the jokes were not funnybr br I dont see why on earth this piece of crap was even made Im not a picky person and I can enjoy stupid things but this is just way too stupid and just plain awfulbr br Avoid this wretched piece of garbage at all costs
76
Normally I wouldnt go to the trouble of commenting on a horror movie sequel because its usually assumed that theyre BAD and if you watch them with a healthy disrespect they can be very fun and enjoyable to tauntlaugh at However this chapter of the ongoing Halloween saga came close to gumbing up everything the original stood for In the very first movie Dr Loomis said very pointedly I might add that Michael Myers was evil and this tries to explain why doing a bad job of it I might add In my opinion he was much scarier when he was just a blood hungry freak The whole gothcult thing was unnecessary and a desperate attempt to throw a new curve into the Halloween equation The result was a boring predictable movie that was not scary and not bad enough to be funny
143
Match Point and now Scoop have both convinced me that not only is Woody Allen doing a neat job making movies in England and that Scarlett Johansson is the right cast member but corroborated what I have known for years he shouldnt focus on neurotic rich New Yorkers In this case Johansson plays journalism student Sondra Pransky whom magician Sid Waterman Allen puts in his disappearing box where she meets the ghost of murdered reporter Joe Strombel Ian McShane who tells her that the serial killings that have plagued London were committed by millionaire Peter Lyman Hugh Jackman So she gets to know him andwell I dont know how much I can tell you without giving it away But I can say that this is probably Allens funniest movie in years Theres his ubiquitous unique style of humor especially the line about his religionbr br So youre sure to like this movie If nothing else itll make you fall in love with London But mostly its just so damn hilarious Even if you dont like Woody Allen you gotta love this one
182
I can find no redeeming value to this movie It appears to be loosely based on the Lion King school of thought Father gets killed son cant fill the shoes and tries to run away etc etc etc The only difference other than being in a barnyard instead of a jungle is that Barnyard tries to liven things up with clubtype music They go way over the top in trying to be cool The problem is that it really isnt cool Its like that guy Everybody knows at least one of those guys who are older and still hang out with the younger crowd in a futile attempt to cling onto their youth They try to be cool to fit in but they really arent Thats this moviebr br But hey if you have money to burn and you feel like paying someone to suck 90 minutes of you life away by all means dont let me stop you
159
It amazes me that anyone would find Pauly Shore entertaining he is basically one joke that gets stale real fast He has his little California jerk vocabulary and a basic stock of lame jokes Mainly he is just obnoxiousbr br That said I watched this movie because I was up sick and there was literally nothing else on but infomercials otherwise I would have turned it off after 30 minutes Anyway the film could have been OK if Pauly could have just turned off his spiel and just played it as a comic actor instead of well Pauly br br Anyway Im sure Pauly fans will like it anyway but if you are not a Pauly fan stay away from this crock of manurebr br I had to leave this comment after seeing that another user actually gave this film a 1010 Maybe it was Pauly Personally I gave it a 310 because they didnt have any mikeinframe shots didnt drop the camera and the supporting cast was pretty good
171
Any Way the Wind Blows is Tom Barmans who is also know as front man of the rock formation dEUS debut movie Entirely shot in Antwerp Belgium the movie starts on a sunny friday morning and skips rather superficially between the events that fill the day of a dozen of main characters When the movie ends you have a lot of stuff to think about because most of the different storylines are left wide openbr br The movie has a purely instrumental sound track that will rock your socks off In most scenes the music truly enhances the general atmosphere and feel really making the movie hallucinating to watch at certain points of time The main scene in the film the party is very well shotbr br The director didnt hesitate to use video clip techniques having his main characters dancing on one of the best sound tracks Ive heard latelybr br The screenplay is great stuff Camera angles and colors are very well chosen The costumes are very hot and very seventies too And I loved most of the actingbr br The thing I liked most about the movie are the subtle touches of absurd surreal very dry or even cynical humor that interleavebr br Without claiming to be a comedy this movie certainly is not a comedy but rather an alternative piece of art it still manages to have its audience giggling and even burst into laughter at some timesbr br This is one more directors debut that shouldnt be an ending I hope to see more Tom Barman movies in the future because I had a good time Cheers
272
The book was one of Stephen Kings best The movie was pure rubbish It was painful to remain in the theater until the ending which wasnt even the same as the book I guess that this is the result when you try to cram 10 pages of story into every minute There is no good reason to watch this movie
60
First off Im a dedicated fan of Modestys and have been reading the comics since I was a child and I have found the earlier movies about our heroine unsatisfying but where they fail this one ROCKS br br Well then here we go Ms Blaise is working for a casino a gang of robbers comes along and she starts gambling for her friends lives If the robber wins one round shell have to tell him about herself If she wins two times in a row one of the staff members goes free Sounds stupid yeah well Im not that good at explaining either br br She tells him about growing up in a war zone without parents or friends about her helping an old man in the refugee camp and how they escape living by natures own rules They hunt for food and he teaches her to read and fight As they approach civilization they get caught up in a war and as they are taken for rebellions they are being shot at and the old man dies which leaves her to meet the city by herselfbr br Then she meets the man whos casino shes now working for and there the story ends br br What is to follow is that theres an awesome fight and the lines are totally cool Alexandra Staden is a TERRIFIC Modesty Blaise Just as modest and strong graceful and intellectual as the comiconebr br Feels awkward though too hear Modesty speak with a slightly broken accent but thats not relevant since the comic book blaise cant speak out loud but certainly must have a somewhat existing accent Not to mention that its weird everybodys speaking English in the Balkanbr br The acting is really good even the child who personifies the young Blaise must have a applaud br br My favorite part must be where she rips up her dress to kick the stupid robbers ass Totally awesome D I cant wait until the real adventure begins in the next moviesbr br Watch it you wont be disappointed
346
Anyone who could find redeeming value in this piece of crap ought to have their head examined We have the submissive heroinaddicted parttime hooker wife with lacerations all over her body lacerations received from repeated beatings by an abusive son Now she is squirting breast milk all over the kitchen floor the release so gained somehow akin to Helen Keller placing her hands in running water We have the husband who starts out by patronizing a prostitute who just happens to be his daughter shes upset with him because he came too quicklyand ends by murdering his female colleague having sex with her corpse and then chopping her up We have the kid who is relentlessly bullied by his classmates and who comes home and beats his mom You see its all circular Deep huh The only decent moment in this horrendous pile of tripe is when the dad murders his sons tormentors Its a good thing this turkey was shot on video because otherwise what a waste of expensive film it would be If that guy who thinks artists ought to be interested in this slop is really serious no wonder most people think artists are insane We saw this lousy movie then put on Zero Woman The Accused Oh my God it was a tossup as to which one was worse What is going on in Japan these days Sick sick sick
234
Fiveyearold Michael sees his mother getting axed to death by his serial killer father The Highwayman who later commits suicide 20 years later grown Mike Gordon Currie from PUPPET MASTER 4 and 5 invites seven of his friends to his secluded grandparents home to master their own fears at a Halloween night costume party Morty a lifesize wooden doll kept in the attic by the Indian handyman becomes possessed by the dead fathers spirit and kills them off using their phobias Characters are thrown out a window drowned in a toilet eaten by rats blown up etc Morty morphs into the dad and a tree walks around and makes stupid wisecracks After finding a girl chopped up and stuffed in a cardboard box the characters remain in the house act cheerful crack jokes and have sexbr br The Morty design is good and Betsy Palmer Mrs Voorhees from the original Friday THE 13TH is surprisingly delightful as the grandmother but this thing is even more senseless and confusing than the original and is full of false scares bad acting braindead characters repeat flashback footage and annoying distorted camerawork Plus the only two minority characters the Indian and a halfblack girl are the first to die BLAH
206
I was so excited to see this film because I had always heard it was very scarybr br Whats interesting about it is that it is a Japanese film they decided to bring to America but they actually filmed it IN japan with the original crew I think this made the film more Japanese which is probably why it managed to be fairly successful unlike most JapantoAmerica horror movie flops but it also made it a bit inaccessible to American audiences The difference in what scares the Japanese culture and what scares the American culture felt present throughout the film This worked well in moments when they meant to capture the nervous fear of the main character a frightened fish in a big busy unfamiliar Tokyo pondbr br The storyline was quite confusing as well In typical Japanese fashion it is extremely complicated and confusing The beginning of the movie is actually the middle of the story and from there we move constantly forwards and backwards until at the end of the film we see the ending and beginning of the whole story This constant flipping through time was very much confusing for me Also I didnt think some things were explained so well and I had to ask my friend to explain them to me she had already seen it as well as the sequel which apparently reveals more of the storybr br Overall there IS plenty for American audiences to love tons of freaky imagery and macabre details which a healthy splash of jump scenes
257
A Give this Movie a 1010 because it deserves a 1010 Two of the best actors of their timeWalter Matthau George Burns collaborate with Neil Simon and all of the other actors that are in this film director Herbert Ross and all of that makes this stage adaption come true The Sunshine Boys is one of the best films of the 70s I love the type of humor in this film it just makes me laugh so hardbr br I got this movie on VHS 3 days ago yes VHS because it was cheaperonly 3 I watched it as soon as I got home but I had to watch it again because I kept missing a few parts the first time The second time I watched it it felt a lot better and I laughed a lot harder Im definitely going to reget this on DVD because I HAVE to see the special featuresbr br Its very funny how that happens Two people work together as entertainersactorsperformers They get along well on stage but really argue off stage they cant survive another minute with each other then some 15 years later you want to reunite them for a TV special You can find that in this film Matthau Burns were terrific in this film Its a damn shame they died George Burns deserved that Oscar He gave a strong comic performance He was also 78 when this movie was filmed So far hes the oldest actor to receive an academy award at an old age Jessica Tandy breaks the record as the oldest actress Richard Benjamin was also fantastic in this He won a Golden Globe for best supporting actor He deserved that Golden Globe Although many people might disagree with what I am about to say everybody in this film gave a strong performance This Comedy is an instant classic I highly recommend it One more thing Whoever hates this film is a Putz
328
I shall not waste my time writing anything much further about how every aspect of this film is indescribably bad That has been done in great detail already many times over The plot started out as a very uninspiring cockney wideboygangsterbynumbers bore and very quickly descended into an utter shambles Anybody who pretends that they can see some hidden masterpiece inside this awful mess is just kidding themselves It is now 7 or 8 years since I watched it during its 1 week run at the cinema before it was pulled yet it sticks in my mind for being easily the most terrible film I have ever seenbr br I am only making these comments and indeed the only reason I went to see the film is because of the amusing fact that my brother Eddie appeared in it as the second heavy in the pub scene It was his hands that thrust a zippo lighter towards Rhys Ifans face in the bar in Russia it was actually filmed at the former Butlins holiday camp at Barry Island My brother has absolutely no acting experience whatsoever he had recently joined an extras agency and this was his first part Having seen the film it appeared that nobody in it required any acting experience whatsoeverbr br I remember there were about 8 people in the whole cinema and this was just a couple of days after it had been released I have never heard of an other film that was so unpopular and disappeared so fast and rightly so In case you were thinking of renting this film on DVD I would advise you instead to put your two pound coins in a fire until they are redhot then jam them into your eye sockets This will probably be a lot less painful than watching the film
309
Im disappointed that Reiser who wrote the film felt the need to use so much profanity for no reason whatsoever Maybe thats his idea of adult films plenty of nasty words with bathroom humor thrown in I thought better of him and think less of him for this moviebr br Falks acting and some moments of humor as well as some possibly important themes are what made me give it such a high ratingbr br This might be a good movie for adult children to watch and laugh over about their own folks and their foibles But the lack of consideration for audience families seriously detriments what could have been a family film but fails Certainly not worth spending money on though it might be worth a watch for free on television
132
Savage Guns video title is a dirt cheap bottom of the barrel spaghetti western in which the survivor of a massacre hunts the bandits who killed his brother and left him for dead catching up with them in a town controlled by their crooked bossbr br Despite plenty of violence this manages to be both dull and colorless with bad characterizations and almost no imagination or humorbr br Lead actor Robert Woods lives up to his name with a wooden and uncharismatic performance that fails to generate any warmth or sympathy whatsoever In other words the viewer never really roots for him despite the fact that hes the protagonistbr br The worst scene in my opinion is the annoying dance hall scene where a woman sings in a heavy and terribly unsexy German accent It was the worst scene in Blazing Saddles and the worst one here
147
So the Koreans are now knocking off American horror flicks But they are doing so with style DOLL MASTER is a close copy of PUPPETMASTER and DOLLS and even has a little CHILDS PLAY going for it Several young adults are invited to attend a special event at a gallery filled with dolls only to find they are targets of a vengeful spirit The dolls come to life and do some pretty nasty things to the kids The gore level is reasonably high the photography and set design and production values are first rate the acting isnt all that bad and the scares are definitely there DOLL MASTER may not be in the same league with A TALE OF TWO SISTERS or even DEAD FRIEND but its close Give it a watch You wont be disappointed
136
The Man In The Moon is a pretty good movie It is very touching at times and is very well done in all respects I wouldnt say the film was terribly original but what is these daysbr br The cast members all did a great job with their respective roles I really enjoyed seeing Reese Witherspoon at such a young age and does quite a good job Jason London does a fine job as well And the only other person I recognized was Sam Waterston who did a fantastic job with his role I really liked Sams character Matthew Trant a lot At times he seemed to be the kind of father you dread but in the end you really like his character The rest of the cast was very good as wellbr br If youre into touching movies about growing up and dealing with what life throws at you then you ought to watch this film Id suggest reading the plot synopsis and if that sounds like something youd be interested in then go for it Anyhow hope you enjoy the film thanks for readingbr br Chris
188
Made one year before ILSA SHEWOLF OF THE SS BLACKSNAKE could have easily been called SUSAN SHEWOLF OF THE PLANTATION and it probably inspired the producers behind the Nazi sexploitation epics to go ahead with their more infamous films because the stories are identical a gorgeous horny head strong but stupid blonde woman degrades and kills many people under her control whom all hate her and want her dead Sounds familiar Director Russ Meyer and David Friedman the producer behind the ILSA flicks are good friends and they started their careers together So obviously theres a connection there Looking at BLACKSNAKE I cant help but think that Russ Meyer wanted to move on and do something else than his typical busty women epics because XXX movies were all the rage during the mid 1970s and Russ Meyer films though filled with nudity and kinkiness and violence were never even close to real porn His films started to look positively quaint next to DEEP THROAT and other hardcore porno blockbusters Meyer knew he couldnt compete with such films and BLACKSNAKE is sorta the end result of such a quandary in his career He obviously wanted to branch out into different uncharted territory But BLACKSNAKE bombed at the BO and Meyer quickly returned to making VIXEN type of films that even if they still werent pornographic they were most definitely more overthetop than any of his previous filmsbr br Its no wonder BLACKSNAKE was a BO failure Its just terrible Trashorama Jawdroppingly bad Its a quasicampy take on slavery if you can imagine that The end result is jarring One minute were in typical Meyer territory exuberant playful and silly and then the next minute super serious meditation on slavery and violence Huh It just doesnt work The slaveryracism aspect is woefully mishandled and veers this movie in the true exploitation category But BLACKSNAKE is not as sleazy as ILSA SHE WOLF OF THE SS and those kind of films so I imagine fans of the latter were disappointed by it which would explain the almost lack of interest in this movie from either exploitation fans or Russ Meyer fans Meyer blames the failure of BLACKSNAKE because and I quote It didnt have enough breasts in it Well Im sorry Russ but the film is just bad breast or no breasts But hes right though about the low breast quota Except for Anouska and the maid the films cast is male Meyer replaces his usual bevy of buxom babes with throng of hunks with massive pecs in the form of anonymous black actors playing the slaves and the big David Darth Vader Prowse And with Anouskas right hand man around who is portrayed as a ruthless but clever gay man who enjoys the power he has over the men one can only wonder what Meyer was really trying to create herebr br BLACKSNAKE stars David Warbeck who is lusted after by Anouska and her right hand man Poor David He looks totally befuddled by the whole experience He did seem to have fun making the movie but you can clearly see that at times he has no idea whats going on And then theres Anouska Hempel Shes a beautiful womanfor the 1970s not the 1870s With her makeup and hair she looks like a typical 1970s Brit pinup babe than a turn of the century dominatrix And her wardrobe is hilarious At one time she actually unzips her leather boots I didnt know they had zippers in those days But the character she plays is in itself really degrading no pun intended Shes nothing but a cipher to the object of lust and scorn of every men and that woman on the island For example one night when David and Anouska are getting it on her annoying slave driver walks in the room knocks David unconscious and tries to rape her groping her savagely The next day the slave driver is still working for Anouska and the two act as if nothing had happened Its totally ludicrous Under any circumstance had her character been a real person Anouska would have whipped the slave driver senseless and kicked his butt off the island Or even killed him But the fact that the woman keeps him on her plantation after he tried to rape her is stretching the flimsy story and characters credulity to the maxbr br Ridiculous details like this and the thoroughly startling blaxploitation angle makes BLACKSNAKE a strangely unpleasant but watchable movie Watchable in the train wreck variety I just couldnt help but watch the film for the utter baseless aspects of it all the excellent cinematography sorta makes it easier to watch So this being an exploitation film I guess it succeeded in doing what it was supposed to do But BLACKSNAKE is mainly for Russ Meyer completists
808
I was fairly lost throughout most of this film and I am the one who usually understands the works of such enigmatic cinema greats as David Lynch Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me and Darren Aronofsky Pi Not to say that Northfork doesnt make sense on some level it just doesnt combine to form a wholly coherent film As time passes from watching the film its themes and intentions become clearer but during my initial viewing I was really confounded and I find that this is the major fault of the filmits lack of direction The plot centers on the town of Northfork Montana in the year 1955 The town has been emptied and will soon be flooded to make way for the creation of a hydroelectric dam The major problem is that not all of its inhabitants are willing to be evacuated and relocated A group of men are hired to coerce the remaining residents out of the town before it will be drowned and for the most part they succeed amidst some fairly odd situations and townspeople Simultaneously the film tells the story of Irwin a very sick young boy or is he a fallen angel whose adopted parents gave him back due to his illness to the Northfork orphanage that they adopted him from Father Harlan Nick Nolte cares for the dying Irwin but Irwin imagines or does he that a group of angels including Daryl Hannah and Anthony Edwards have arrived in the desolate and empty town looking for a fallen angel Irwin has scars on his back and on his head and he tries to convince the angels that his scars are where the humans amputated his wings and halo Oh yeah and during all of this there is a strangely surreal walking animal on stilts that roams throughout the backdrop of the landscape There are a lot of other small events that happen in the film but none of them end up amounting to much more than momentary intrigue One can appreciate the artistic quality of the film its obvious that the filmmakers cared deeply about this film and its rich cinematography but the film still tries too hard to be different and then gives up and whimpers to an end without making much of a statement Like I wrote earlier it becomes clearer long after viewing what has possibly taken place in the film Irwin is dying and so is Northfork and in coping with his own loss and death Irwin has most likely created characters from ideas he gets from the objects that surround him at the orphanage to console him as he is abandoned and his life nears its end But then again maybe he really is an angel and he has found his kind and can now return home I must emphasize that there are some truly beautiful moments in the film heartbreaking vivid and full of loneliness and sadness Unfortunately the film as a whole just ends up feeling disconnected and somehow incomplete
504
While Rome goes mad celebrating Hitlers visit uniforms bands parades two outsiders stay home in a large building and wind up meeting She is Sofia Loren who is the wife of brutish public servant and mother of six children He is Mastroianni a radio speaker whos been fired because of his homosexuality Both of them need company and understanding both f them find it in each otherbr br The movie covers a span of a few hours The color are faded and everything takes place with a sound track of military marches and hysterical radio announcers Strangely enough the Nazi anthem the HorstWesselLied ends up becoming a romantic musical themebr br Beautiful movie excellent recreation of a special era in Italian history and a touching sad story Mastroianni is as good as we have come to expect and Sofia Loren does a superb job very far away from her usual truck drivers pinup Neapolitan fishwife personas Dont miss it
163
If you dont like bad acting poor editing ridiculous dialog and unbelievable characters you will hate this movie If you like all of the above that is to say if you are a Lynch fan then you will love Mulholland Drive This is quite possibly the worst film to be rated above an 70 on IMDBbr br Outside of Naomi Watts work you will be hard pressed to find any competent acting in Mulholland Dr The other female lead went to the hide your face with your hands when you dont have the chops school of acting Given the script they had to work with its a wonder all of the actors werent holding their heads in their handsbr br Characters wander in and out of the film that do nothing to advance the storyline You have a hitman a mysterious cowboy an adulterous wife and her cliched poolman lover a mafioso type figure sitting in a darkened room who speaks through an external voice box and a host of others too numerous and tedious to mention Suffice it to say that they manage to do little more than fill up screen timebr br This isnt so bad however in that it distracts the viewer from the fact that the movie has no discernable plot You will wait and wait for for all of the loose threads to come together and in the end you will be abysmally disappointed The hardest thing for a writer to do is to bring everything together in a believable fashion at the end of a movie in a way that leaves everyone feeling fulfilled The easiest thing for a writer to do is to create a lot of odd characters and put them in scenes that are not connected to the movie as a whole and then to take what few coherent threads there are and jumble them up at the end for the sake of surprise Guess which way Lynch goes SURPRISEbr br You know you have a bad script when you have to resort to dream sequences to make any sense out of it After all a dream sequence covers all sins Dreams dont have to make sense Anything can happen in a dreambr br The editing is similarly disjointed Lets just say good editing does not call attention to itself Much of the way this film is edited seems to be done for the sole purpose of calling attention to the editing Look at me You can see my editing Arent I a genius Uh well NO This movie has all of the earmarks of the worst and most selfindulgent French filmsbr br So why is this movie so popular My theory is that it is just another sign of the decay of our culture Melodies are hard to compose so lets listen to rap Plots are hard to follow so lets dispense with them Pictures are difficult to paint so lets pee in a cup and stick a crucifix in it These are the symptoms of our times and Mulholland Drive is just another part of the affliction
518
If you see this turkey listed in your TV guide AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAGUEbr br A steaming great pile of fetid dingoes kidneys doesnt begin to describe how bad this movie is There is only one funny scene the memory eraser scene but even that rates only 001 on the laughometer out of 1000 Whoever wrote this turkey should be banned from writing another movie for their entire lives
70
This film offers many delights and surprises When Achille and Philippa beautifully sing a duet from Don Giovanni that perfectly describes their situation in the movie you appreciate the subtle layers of this excellent film The story unfolds in 18th century Jutland and the use of period music played on period instruments is just one more fine touch You share General Loewenhielms exquisite joy in his partaking of the Cailles en Sarcophage even though you are just watching a movie but you do wish for just a small sample to savorbr br Babette is an artist whose medium is food Perhaps no other art form allows the artist to share her creations so directlybr br The main theme of this movie the potential that the sharing of food has to transform how people see each other and how they see the world is much the same as the theme of Chololat but Babettes Feast does not hit you over the head with its message The townspeople are conservative puritans but not exaggeratedly oppressive You come to understand and respect them and ultimately to appreciate their humanity br br Many issues are raised for you to reflect on the nature of art the contemplation of paths taken and paths not taken the relationship between the spiritual and the physical the effect of environment on behavior the taking of life to give life among othersbr br The only disappointment for me was General Loewenhielms speech delivered at the climax of the meal I expected deep heartfelt observations but I got some vague mystical ramblings The speech had such a minimal impact that I hardly remember itbr br But this understated film leaves a lasting impression The warmth it generates is in contrast to its austere backdrop You will leave the theater wanting to go out and dance under the stars
309
Well to do American divorce with more money than brains buys a rundown villa in Tuscany Much more money whilst having to dicker over the price she subsequently manages to cook sumptuous buffets for her workmen and wander around Italy indefinitely with no job or apparent means of support Interminable boredom and the inevitable Italian lover ensue this is a chick flick in the most pejorative sense of the term Lane acts like an unskilled clueless teenage ingnue throughout which dynamically clashes with her seriously fading looks along the way smashing into a variety of mostly Italian cardboard stereotypes dykes divas senile contessas and gigolos among them Bloated with unnecessary scenes the most ridiculous being a clumsily inserted and pointless recreation of the fountain scene in La Dolce Vita A similar conceit was used in an effective and appropriate narrative context in Only You Norman Jewisons vastly superior ode to Italy and romance Tuscan Sun may be the most vacant piece of cinema of the last decade despite its admittedly welllensed panoramas of Italy Bonus negative point for the extraneous lover parachuted in at the last minute to provide requisite Hollywood ending for its targeted audience of Oprahbrainwashed housewives Avoid at all costs unless of course you view Oprah and Dr Phil as pinnacles of intelligent discourse
219
The 1977 animatedlive action hybrid version of Gullivers Travels or rather Travel since he only gets as far as Lilliput didnt get much of a release and its not too difficult to see why Michel Legrand comes up with some catchy tunes but they merely inspire lyricist Don Black to the likes of One simple fact remainsNoone here suffers from growing pains Richard Harris once again overindulges in his passion for excessive makeup toning down the eyeliner for far too much foundation this time in an effort to hide the fact hes at least 25 years too old for the role but at least he perhaps inappropriately reduces his largerthanlife tendencies for a performance made up mainly of patronising whispering The Belgian animation looks only slightly better than early morning French childrens TV but Peter Hunts film is not nearly as bad as it sounds the use of real model sets for the animated characters harks back to Max and Dave Fleischers 1939 version while a couple of moments of Swiftian satire do remain although its definitely aimed at the youngest of children
185
DONT TORTURE A DUCKLING is one of Fulcis earlier and honestly in terms of storyline better films and although not the typical bloodbath that Fulci is known for this is still a very unique and enjoyable filmbr br The story surrounds a small town where a series of child murders are occurring Some of the colorful characters involved in the investigations either as suspects or those helping the investigation or in some cases both include the towns police force a smalltime reporter a beautiful and rich exdrug addict a young priest and his mother An old man who practices witchcraft and his female protg a mentally handicapped townsman and a deafmute little girl All of these people are interwoven into the plot to create several twists and turns until the actual killer is revealedbr br DONT TORTURE A DUCKLING is neither a classical giallo or a typical Fulci gore film Although it does contain elements of both it is more of an oldfashioned murder mystery with darker subject matter and a few scenes of graphic violence although nothing nearly as strong as some of Fulcis later works This is a well written film with lots of twists that kept me guessing up until the end Recommended for giallomurdermystery fans or anyone looking to check out some of Fulcis nonsplatter films but dont despair DONT TORTURE still has more than its fair share of violence and sleaze Some may be put off by the subject of the child killings and one main female character has a strange habit of hitting on very young boys which is also kind of disconcerting but if that type of material doesnt bother you then definitely give this one a look 8510
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The cast played Shakespearebr br Shakespeare lostbr br I appreciate that this is trying to bring Shakespeare to the masses but why ruin something so goodbr br Is it because The Scottish Play is my favorite Shakespeare I do not know What I do know is that a certain Rev Bowdler hence bowdlerization tried to do something similar in the Victorian erabr br In other words you cannot improve perfectionbr br I have no more to write but as I have to write at least ten lines of text and English composition was never my forte I will just have to keep going and say that this movie as the saying goes just does not cut it
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I felt sorry enough that this film is not popular at all even in Hong Kong However for all die hard Chows fan this will be a masterpiece that shud not b left out This is Mo Lei Tou a comedy style that based on unrealistic and ridiculous plot pioneered by Chow at its peak The plot is totally absolutely ultimately 1000 times more ridiculous than any film that u can imagine The dialog is awesome No single part of the film cool down for u to stop laughingbr br The plot look simple but crazy enuf for u to start laughing It begin with Chow starring a junior magistrate a corrupted one of coursecaught into jail when helping an innocent married woman he love at first sight to clear her from a murder charge that plot by evil minister whose son was actually the real convict Chow escape from jail and run away as a refugee He intend to go to the capital to see the Emperor and report the conviction On his way he manage to pick up 2 lovely women one from circus another one a prostitute while in the mean time mastering supreme skill to quarrel and bad mouth from the thin Mamasan who happen to be his future in law Finally he able to force the Emperor to reopen the case by black mail the Emperor whom he meet him in the brothel The Emperor made him a highest level judge to judge the case tgt with the evil minister He manage to setup some brilliant but hilarious plots to force the convict to commit the crime execute him while thrown the evil minister to jailbr br The plots are really hilarious and ridiculously brilliant Also not to forget the tremendous dialog that include some brilliant bad mouth quarrel between Chow and the Mamasan quarrel between the fat Mamasan and thin Mamasan to inspire Chow to learn the quarrel skill later and also quarrel between Chow and the evil eunuch Lee near the ending Beside that some of the scenes are brilliant toobr br One thing that need to mention is that to really understand the film and catch up 100 of all the elements correctly this will be a must to master Cantonese really well Which may be the reason why early age Chow movie receive moderate response only from Asian world However when Chow film began to spread his influence around the globe hardcore fans like me found that his film is no more that funny like the old time
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Funny sexy hot There is no real plot but you neednt anyonebr br so the naked or almost naked girls and the typical fights between collegecliques need no developmentbr br All in all the whole seems to be known from simply every film in this category but the reissuer reached the goal that this film can be recognized out of thousand othersbr br Last thing Ive got to say Unbelievable funnybr br Youve got to see it br br And if you are young and you want know more about the female body youve got to see it twice
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The Girl in Lovers Lane is one strange little lowbudget film On its surface the movie tells the story of a tough drifter named Bix Brett Halsey who spends his time looking out for a young kid named Danny Lowell Brown and the girl Carrie Joyce Meadows that Bix meets who would like to look out for him Nothing overly interesting happens Bix goes out with Carrie Bix gets Danny out of trouble Carries father drinks a lot etc until about 10 minutes to go in the movie when Carrie is murdered Her father blames Bix pulls him out of a jail cell and just about beats him to death Now their roles are reversed and Danny has to save Bixbr br Until I read the reviews on IMDb I thought that maybe it was just me reading more into Bix and Dannys relationship than was really there but I see now that Im not alone It was quite obvious to me early on that Bix and Danny had more of a relationship than you usually see in a movie from 1959 The homosexual nature of their relationship while never openly expressed is still quite obvious Their living and sleeping arrangements Bixs reaction to finding Danny in bed with a prostitute Bixs inability to commit to Carrie and that phone call at the end when Danny tells his parents hes brining home a friend are a few examples of moments that lead to the inevitable conclusion that theres more to their relationship than initially meets the eye Im sure they exist but I cant think of any movies Ive seen from the 50s that scream homosexual quite as loudly as this onebr br As for the movie I dont know any other way to put this its boring As I wrote earlier nothing much at all happens for 90 of the run time The characters are dull and the actors arent good enough to give The Girl in Lovers Lane much of a spark The lone exception is Jack Elam His crazy Jesse is the one character interesting enough to be worth watching Elam had creepy down pat But I guess the biggest problem I had with the movie was with character motivation and logic Carrie is killed and Bix is immediately blamed What about crazy Jesse who has been stalking Carrie for probably her whole life Anyone think to ask Jesse where he was that night Her father has seen him bother Carrie at the diner yet he never considers that the leering Jesse might have something to do with his daughters death Not a lot of logic there And what about Jesses confession Danny grabs Jesse by the lapel and this is all it takes to force a confession out of Jesse Real tough guy huh Why would he confess so easily And after he confesses no one thinks to grab him Its awfully nice of Jesse just to stay put and not run off In any other reality he would have never spilled his guts and would have run like a rabbit if he had been fingered for the murder The fact that The Girl in Lovers Lane asks me to accept these ridiculous actions on the part of the characters is something Im not willing to do Overall Im giving The Girl in Lovers Lane a 410
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