I'm Squizzing

## Description

The Dragon friends have failed. Count Strahd has taken their one weapon against him and left them with nothing but an empty castle and a promise; that the lodge of the Wolven will not live through the night. But all is not lost, as Greatheart Banknote lives, and is ready to lead The Dragon Friends into the fray as the final confrontation draws near.

## Synopsis

The Dragon Friends have been left behind in Castle Ravenloft with Greatheart Banknote, but with Strahd having escaped, Pointy Steve lost, and Strahd threatening to kill Madame Drazkov. Bobby and Jacob start to consider what their next move should be, which descends into a quarrel about who is actually the one fated to kill Strahd. Meanwhile, Philge frees Greatheart from the rack, and Bobson interrupts the argument by saying that they should return to the Wolfen Lodge to defend Madame Drazkov, and they race back through the secret passage (or at least race as much as they can while carrying the Banknote Apparatus), and Philge summons Flappy to scout ahead and warn Drazkov.

Flappy returns shortly, wounded. He reports that the Lodge has been devastated, the air filled with evil Stirges, and the only living figure held in a cage. Seeing Flappy in a bad way, Philge straps him to her chest (with his wings comfortably closed). Greatheart passes Philge a number of notes that he found before being captured, which seem to have been annotated by Strahd in an attempt to translate them - believing that Philge is the smart one, and unaware that she only recently learned to read from a talking dog. Philge quietly passes the notes to Lionshield, who can understand them; they describe a spellstone monolith known as the Nether Lodestone which granted control of the Netherese Army, and a fail-safe emergency hub at the centre of a Netherese city which would activate the army if triggered. Lionshield describes this to the other friends and suggests that they might be able to control the army themselves, but they do not state where the Lodestone might be.

The Friends hear the hum of stirges and the cries of a wolf as they approach the Wolfen Lodge. Bobby approaches, seeing the Lodge burning, and a single figure in a cage hanging from a tree while a pack of wolves snaps at them from below. Bobby realises that these are not werewolves, but regular wolves from the forests of Barovia, which Strahd has some ability to control; and they shortly notice Bobby and head towards him. Bobby assumes werewolf form. Jacob and Baston charge in, striking at the alpha wolf with their swords, harming it severly; but Baston is quickly caught in the cloud of blood-sucking stirges. A lesser wolf enters combat with Bobby and is wounded by his claws; Philge enters a rage and hurls one of the wolves at a tree, breaking its neck, and Flappy bizarrely manages to throw a javelin at the wolves. Jacob quickly realises that the figure in the cage is Madame Drazkov, and starts attempting to shoot the mosquito-sized stirges attacking her with a longbow, which does not go well, and Baston begins to frantically try to shake off the stirges, failing to do so. Lionshield uses the Apparatus's claws to grab the smaller wolf and then blasts it with both the mounted crossbow and a *Shocking Grasp* spell, and the stirges expand out to surround Philge and Lionshield as well; Bobby darts forward to backstab the alpha wolf attacking Baston and kills it.

Philge cuts her own arm open, hoping that the exposed blood will attract the stirges, which it does, attracting them away from Madame Drazkov and crying out on Lionshield to cast a spell. He uses the Apparatus to grab Philge and casts *Shocking Grasp* on her, which harms Philge but also conducts through her skin and skills the stirges. Jacob makes an attempt to cut the stirges off Baston with a sword, but fails and hits Baston instead, leaving him unconscious - although the stirges do leave his body. Bobby kills two of the stirges with his jaws, and Flappy bizarrely kills the remaining stirges with a javelin.

Jacob climbs and pulls the cage apart to rescue Madame Drazkov, but she is mortally wounded. She gestures to Bobby, and tells him that Strahd has the Nether Lodestone but does not know how to use it. She pulls off her necklace, revealing that it contains an second arrowhead made of spellstone, saying that she knew it was wise to have a backup for any prophecy naming a specific weapon. She smiles, adds "Sword of stone and heart of glass.. or was it sword of glass and heart of stone?.. prophecies are.. complicated.." and dies in Jacob's arms.

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston
* Lionshield Banknote

### NPCs

* Greatheart Banknote
* Bobson Dugnutt

### Bestiary

* Stirges
* Vampirically controlled wolves

### Places

* Castle Ravenloft
* The Wolfen Lodge

## Quotes

* "You really fucked up!" "Yea, well, you were in my ear just like ba-ba-ba, if it was me I would do this, it just got in my head." "I was in your ear, you know what was between your ears, a fucking stupid little brain that has no fucking way to aim, you piece of shit! Your fucking bronze three hands could have aimed that thing straight into a fucking wall! I don't know what that dream said to you - well, I do, it was my dream - but I want it the fuck back!" "You.. *want* the dream? You want to die so bad, for glory? I mean when you say it like that that's not terrible but.. who cares? Whatever happens, happens! Just fucking deal with it and just be cool! Like, be cool!"