Kingdom of Monaro (Regno di Monaro)

The Kingdom of Monaro is a fascist dictatorship located in the Monaro region of New South Wales. It is led by grand Duce John Barilaro since the creation of the Kingdom in 2011, after the march on Jindabyne. Severe suppression of citizens and critics has led Barilaro to win every "election" by a margin of 127%. It is unknown where his opponents disappear to after they challenge him. The national anthem is this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTa6Xbzfq1U

## What The Fuck Is In Monaro?

Monaro is located in da mountains of South-East NSW, and there's not much in it. It is rumored a long time ago in 2008 there were little bakeries and cafes and small businesses but they magically disappeared after 2011. All farmland in Monaro has been consfiscated by the government to grow wheat and potatoes so the government can produce adequate amounts of da pasta and gnocchi for its poor residence.

## The March on Jindabyne

John Barilaro assumed leadership of Monaro during the 2011 Eden-Monaro election, replacing the former Nationals member after they had disappeared in mysterious circumstances. After the election, in which Barilaro was disqualified for being Italian, he marched with a mob of Italian protesters and took over the region. Eleven Italians where shot down by the regional NSW police force protected the Jindabyne town hall, but it was too late when Barilaro's coup had gained support of the small bakery owners and lend leases from the Italian government poured through to Monaro. Barilaro had all involved against him removed from life by numerous torture methods including frying them in oil and turning them into raviolis. If you are eating ravioli right now, you can thank him.

## Duce Barilaro's Leadership

Duce Barilaro rules Monaro with an iron fist, it is believed all who oppose him are stomped on like the little goombas they are. Radical policies include closing down all takeaway shops and replacing them with dodgy rural KFCs and cheap Italian restaurants, bombing Gibraltar, work camps for SFF supporters, & the ban on da mario franchise. It is believed that he has also stacked foreign NSW regions with pro-duce demagogues, especially in town councils such as Narrandera & Bega.

## The Bush-Turkey Purging

Every half a year, Bush-Turkeys are shot dead and fed to the poorer citizens as a way to say thank you for not betraying our grand duce. With a shortage of Bush-Turkeys in the 2019 Purge, it is believed that SFF members including Helen Dalton were put into turkey costumes in the mix.

## Monaro's Ban on da Mario Franchise

The Super Mario Bros franchise is currently banned by Duce Barilaro. It is believed that Barilaro could in fact be the same person from the franchise known as "Marrion" i think idk i dont play Mario. His obbsession with the eradication of the goombas points in this direction. He also was seen with Mario character "Wiggler Worm" discussing ways to muck up the Murray.

## War Crimes during the Eden-Monaro Border War

The United Nations has forced sanctions on Monaro after it committed numerous war crimes during the border war between Bega & Monaro. It was found to have contaminated all water supplies in Bega and created a version of mustard gas out of tomato pasta sauce which led to the deaths of 6,000 Bega Valley residents.

## The Cooma China Town Chinese Restaurant Incident

Nothing happened at Cooma China Town Chinese Restaurant, would Barilaro lie to you?

## Quotes of the Great Duce John Barilaro

*"Democracy is beautiful in theory; in practice it is a fallicy. You in Paramatta will see that one day"*

"*The truth is that farmers are tired of liberty"*

"*We become strong, I feel, when we have no friends upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance."*

*"Fuck Bega"*

*"Oh wtf i did not commit several war crimes in the Bega Valley mister judge how could i do that im just a poor Italian bush-battler from Rushcutters Bay"*