It Is Not Going Well

It Is Not Going Well is the thirteenth chapter in the Wombles One.

Mr Class was telling his window cleaners about something with his big screen behind him.  It showed Mother.  “Leader of the avengers.  Officially missing our job: find him.”  The screen changed to show Steed.  “John Steed.  He will be leading us when we save the wombles.”  The screen changed to show Tara.  “Tara King. She is upset about something or other. Our job: cheer her up.”  The screen changed to show Miss Peel.  “Emma Peel.  She will be second in command of us when we save the wombles.”  The screen changed yet again to show Venus.  “Venus Smith.  Singer and avenger.  We will be working with her when we save the wombles.”  The screen changed for the millionth time to show Dr King.  “Martin King.  Will be doctoring us when we save the wombles.”  The screen changed for the billionth time to show Dr Keel.  “David Keel.  He has a smoking habit.  Our job: stop him from smoking.”  The screen changed for the final time to show Cathy.  “Catherine Gale.  Originally working with the avengers, but now she seems to be a villain.  Our job: get her!”

Suddenly there was a crash outside.  Somebody had dropped a big red bus in Mirror Street (where the Classy Glass Window Cleaning Company lives).  A feint voice was shouting “sorry”.  Mr Class thought it sounded like the voice from above.  Of course he knew it was probably done with mirrors so he didn’t worry. The window cleaners fixed the bus and took it to the bus depot.  The bus depot manager thanked them for the new bus!

Steed had gone to get a Bentley from his garage but was rather surprised to see that his house had gone.  Emma pulled up in Cathy’s Lotus.  “Why are you driving Cathy’s car still?  And where is my house?” he asked her.  “My house is fine Steed.  We can live there so don’t worry!” she replied.  “And you can have one of these green Bentleys.” Steed offered.  The cars looked pretty much the same but one was a lighter green.  Emma picked that one and they headed for their house.

Tara had also discovered her house had gone.  She was really fed up now!  First her car then her house.   Fortunately her weird looking car shaped like box at the back was still there.  “I guess nobody likes that one” she thought. In fact neither did she but it was the only thing she had left.  Tara, Emma and Steed arrived together at the burrow.  They didn’t notice Cathy sneaking into her Lotus Elan and following them at a discreet distance.  However Cathy didn’t notice the Wombatmobile following her.  Wombat didn’t notice a helicopter with a fat pilot following him. Mother didn’t notice a clockwork balloon with Botany flying it following him.  Nobody noticed the Milkman following all of them.

Bungo was scared.  He didn’t like the village.  Suddenly he heard Rover coming.  He went out and everyone seemed to be staying still while Rover went by.  He followed the one person who was moving to a giant Chess Board.  They were greeted by 32 other people, 16 of them dressed in white, and the other 16 in black.  Bungo was asked to be a pawn by one of the people dressed in black, who’s outfit was like a royal queen.  Bungo just shrugged and said, “Ok.”  And luckily for him, that really was just a chess match.

After the game, the black queen took off her chess outfit, and she was Madame Cholet!  Bungo looked blank.  “Why didn’t I recognise you?” asked Bungo.  “Not sure” replied Madame Cholet.  Then the black king took off his outfit, and he was Great Uncle Bulgaria! “How did you get here?” asked Bungo. “You’re a prisoner now!”  “I know that,” replied Great Uncle Bulgaria. “But I was taken here by I…”  “Excuse me,” said Miss Adelaide, coming up behind them and straightening her back. “But I’m afraid that is to be kept top secret.  So just in case, we will have to inject you with this needle.”  After the needle was injected, Great Uncle Bulgaria suddenly went savage and attacked Bungo.  “AAAHHH!” screamed Bungo, running away along the beach.  “You’re not Great Uncle Bulgaria!  So who are you?”  “The new number three!”  “Who is number two?”  “Miss Adelaide!”  “Who is number one?”  “You are number six!”  “I am not a number!  I am a Wombledon Wimble!  No, er, er, a, a Wumbledon Wemble!  No, er, er, a, a Wambledon Wumble!  No, er, er, a, a Wimbledon Womble!  That’s it!” Great Uncle Bulgaria looked puzzled. “How can you be all of those at once?”

Steed and Miss Peel walked down into the burrow, still not noticing Cathy following.  They didn’t see her until they went into MEPO and turned the lights on.  “Um… hello, but I’m afraid you’re fired, because I got this report from Mother…” began Miss Peel.  Wombat suddenly sneaked up behind Cathy and cuffed her round the mouth, knocked her unconscious, and took her to Mother’s office with Steed and Miss Peel.  Miss Peel had told Tara to stay outside, and Tara was rather surprised to see Steed, Miss Peel and Wombat carrying an unconscious Cathy out of a burrow.  She quickly ran up and helped carry her.  “We don’t need your help!” said Miss Peel.  “Um, actually we do.” Said Wombat.  “Even if we don’t, it is good of her, don’t you think?” asked Steed.  “Uh, no.” replied Miss Peel.

Later, Cathy woke up in Mother’s office looking rather confused.  (Mother had flown back there when he saw Cathy being carried.)  “What… what happened?” asked Cathy, sitting up. “You turned on us.” Replied Mother. “Yes, I know that, but I mean how did I get here?” asked Cathy.  “Steed, Miss Peel, and this this strange looking fellow in the black costume brought you here.”  Cathy ran for the door, but Steed stopped her.  “Why did you turn on us?” he shouted.  “Um… I… Er…” replied Cathy, and tried to get away again.  This time Miss Peel stopped her.  “If you don’t answer, we will have to put you in a weird prison cell with odd swirly images on the wall.” She said.  Cathy still didn’t answer.  “Very well.” Said Tara, and the three of them carried her off.

Mother’s PA was having lunch at a café called The Cafeeee.  She did wonder about the strange name, but she didn’t say anything, because the fod there was rather good.  Suddenly Venus came in.  “Why is this Café called the Cafeeee?” she asked.  “I’m not sure.” Replied Mother’s PA, who’s name is Ronda.  “Could it be a cover?” suggested Venus, sitting down. “Cover for what?” asked Ronda.  “I don’t know, it could be all sorts of things, but with such an odd name, how can it not be a cover?”  “Um… well if you want to investigate, then investigate.” “Alright.  I’ll ask to see the manager.”  So Venus stood up, went to the desk, and asked, “Can you take me to see the manager?”  “She left ages ago.” Replied one of the staff.  “She saw two green Bentleys and an odd looking red car, then hurried after them.”  “She? Green Bentleys?  Odd looking red Car?  This Café is the manager’s name spelt wrong!” gasped Venus, and ran out the door to find the manager, who, as I’m guessing you have guessed, was Cathy. (She didn’t know that she had already been caught.)