RQG 193 - Cult Classics

## Content Warnings

Taunting & insults (inc. diminution), continued threats of violence/death. Discussions of: pandemic & infection, cults, existential threat. Mentions of: death (inc. mass death) & murder, fire, innuendo, kidnapping. SFX: whispering & echoes.

## Summary

The party converse with their enemies and find a way forward. This week Zolf welcomes some visitors, Cel withdraws their handshake, Azu inspires burning hatred, and Hamid demands an explanation.

## Synopsis

***[Editor's note: The things the squizzards say telepathically are written verbatim in the text, since they can be a little hard to parse.]***

Barret enters the compound and greets Zolf, who is having none of it. Barret heads inside with one of his accompanying squizzards, and the other squizzard stays outside with Zolf.

In the main dining room sit Cel, Hamid, Azu, Wilde, and Gragg. Barret knocks a rhythm and comes in, greeting the party and offering a hand to Cel. Given the looks of disdain and hatred on the faces of the rest of the party, Cel does not shake Barret's hand. Barret prepares himself disdainfully to give information to the party, and Hamid threatens to burn him and the squizzard where they stand. Barret goes to where Zolf had been sitting and takes his old seat, and ascertains that Wilde has given the party his information. He then asks if the party will be able to play nice, given the 'bad blood' and 'water under the bridge'. Hamid isn't happy, and brings up his repeated murder and kidnapping, and Azu mentions his harm of Sasha. Hamid then brings up that he seems to be working with the Cult of Hades again, despite him being rejected by them previously.

Barret tells Hamid that that is due to him, in a similar way to Hamid, surrounding himself with more powerful friends than himself. Azu and Hamid aren't impressed with Barret's insult. Hamid tells Barret that he will cast detect thoughts on Barret and hear his surface-level thoughts while he answers questions. Barret seems relieved that it isn't zone of truth, and tells the squizzard that it can stop protecting him. Barret submits to Hamid's spell.

Hamid asks Barret how he got out of the cell in Damascus. He tells them that after a failed attempt to rescue him, things started going wrong (i.e. the infection), and that he had a 'rather beneficial meeting' in which his 'talents' were found to be useful and they broke him out of the jail in exchange for his help with the infection. He makes what he thinks is a pun about Pandora's Box- it's not a pun, just a reference.

Cel asks about the start of the infection and he tells them that it started in Other London, and that his knowledge of who survived there, in conjunction with his technical and mathematical abilities, made him particularly useful in generating 'what might be a solution' to the extraplanar infection. When Azu asks what the solution is, he says it's something he can't tell them about here, but that he can bring them to another location to show it to them. Cel isn't keen, given his history of kidnapping people, and Barret says he's here as a guide, not a best friend. Azu tells him that he'll always be a man on the floor, and Hamid tells him he doesn't have friends. Hamid detects that Barret really really hated being called a man on the floor, although he doesn't show it.

Hamid tells him to get the squizzards in to tell them about what the cult of Hades has been up to, since Barret probably doesn't know- Hamid says Barret's just a tool to them. Barret insinuates that he's become an irreplaceable tool. Barret says that when the infection first started to spread, the Cult of Hades tried to control it, and blew a lot of resources and people on that 'folly'. They then conceded that they would have to stop the infection, although they were working against the Harlequins at the same time; with the fall of the Harlequins' main Cairo base, that particular 'obstacle' has been removed. Barret says that the 'solution' he has been working on would destroy the infection rather than control it.

Hamid says that for the party to trust him, he needs to come clean about how the Cult has been acting against the party specifically. Cel also asks whether the Cult of Hades has been in hiding for the last thousand or so years, given the scale of their plans. Barret replies that he's a pretty recent recruit, and that he's not really into their ideals. He tells them about the history of the cult that *he* knows:

The Cult of Hades were one of the defenders of Rome, and when they messed up and Rome fell, they never gave up their task of ensuring the survival and flourishing of humanity (and humans specifically), which went against the aims of the Meritocrats. The cult of Hades and the Harlequins are both anti-Meritocratic in that they both believe in self-determination, but the Cult of Hades are more willing to make very dubious deals and would be happy to end up on top, and are only interested in self-determination for humans. The squizzards are just one group in a long list of allies the Cult of Hades has made over the years and they aren't part of the Cult itself.

Azu asks if there's anyone the party should know about that has been part of the Cult of Hades, and Hamid insinuates that half of the British aristocracy seems to be implicated. Barret agrees, and adds that most of the high-up members seem to be dead or have disappeared, making Barret ever more useful as someone with actual knowledge of the situation. He also confirms that the infection is affecting other planes and parts of reality. Azu is pretty sure that's bad, and has existential ramifications.

Hamid asks how Kafka was involved in Prague. Barret says that Kafka was a die-hard Hades man, and that his scheme was one of many that the cult had on the go; The Simulacrum was only one of these. Barret doesn't say what Kafka was actually trying to achieve with the book, but he is rather disdainful about the whole scheme.

Hamid then asks what was of interest to the Cult of Hades in the bank in Cairo (that Carter and Saleh jr. were trying to break into). Barret says that along with the Heart of Aphrodite, they also wanted the paperwork in Tesla's vault; also the locks of hair and other body parts to track the party.

Hamid then asks about the gate spell in the centre of Rome, and why the Cult took their family members through it.

**BREAK**

Barret says he had nothing to do with Rome, and Hamid suggests speaking to those that know more, cutting out the middleman. Barret replies the the cult is pretty much only middlemen at this point, most of the higher-ups having died or disappeared. When Cel asks who's in charge, Barret replies that since most of the higher-ups seem to have gone, he himself is sort of in charge. Cel is berating him for trying to look like he knows what's going on when it seems like everything is really just chaos, and Hamid detects Barret's thought about Cel: "*Oh god, it's just Sasha but with a spine...*". Hamid says that presumably since they name themselves after a god, they function like the other cults and that presumably there's a high priest, and Barret repeats that the high-ups are all mostly dead (not 'let's have a chat dead', like the Cult of Hades can often do, but 'dead dead') and that he himself is just taking advantage of a power vacuum. Cel asks him if he prays to Hades in that case, and Barret replies that he doesn't pray at all. Cel asks how Hades feels about this, and Barret says he doesn't care. Cel then asks if the whole cult is just a power-seeking scam [out of character, 'Cel' asks if they're the Tories, and Helen says they're like a multi-level marketing scheme- Alex agrees.]. Barret says that there are people out there who pray to Hades, but that he's not one of them. He says that he respects the cult's utilitarianism, and that since he is useful, he is accepted and respected. If he weren't useful, he would be removed.

Outside, Zolf is sitting next to a lounging squizzard. The squizzard turns to Zolf, and Zolf flames his glaive. The squizzard then attempts to cast some sort of mind-affecting divination effect on Zolf, but he resists. Zolf receives a telepathic message from them: "*fair play...";* they then steps away from Zolf and stares out of the compound gate again. Zolf threatens it with death, and it replies "*understood".*

Back indoors, Barret is telling the party about Ancient Rome, although with a caveat that it's third-hand information: The Meritocrats were used as defensive tools by Rome. The cult of Hades had a similar role, and when the Meritocrats were released, wreaking havoc on Rome, they tried a last-ditch attempt to save Rome by casting the gate spell, leading either directly to Hades or at least to 'his front porch'. The Cult took the party's loved ones because they were interfering with the Simulcrum, and the party getting the Damascus factory glassed was the final straw. They had thought that taking the party's families would make the more pliant (Barret disagrees there), but the time dilation had the side effect that the party were out of the picture long enough for the Cult to continue pursuing their plans.

Hamid asks why there were four squizzards around the gate spell when they got to Rome. Barret doesn't know, and suggests asking a squizzard. Hamid detects that he is actually quite interested in this, but isn't letting on. Hamid suggests getting a squizzard in to tell them. Barret says they won't give the party answers, but Cel says they'd quite like to at least try, since Barret seems to be enjoying not giving answers. Barret says the squizzards are only footsoldiers 'with calamari for a face' and when asked, says the squizzards know he talks about them like that. He again tries to tell them that his main job is to get them to the site of the solution, rather than to give them every answer. Hamid tries to threaten him, saying that if he doesn't give answers, the party won't trust him and will probably kill him. Barret tells Hamid that if he dies, everyone dies; Hamid detects that Barret really, truly believes that. At that, Azu suggests chopping off something he might miss instead.

Hamid again states that even if Barret thinks that he's that crucial, he still hasn't given them anything that would make them trust him enough to not kill him, and that he doesn't have as much power in this situation as he thinks he does. He does, however, have the chance to beg for his life, in the sense of offering to be a useful tool. Hamid's hands are steaming. Barret turns to Wilde and comments that he has very little control over his team. Cel states that they don't want to be a part of a plan that gives Barret more power, and walks out. Wilde adds that Barret is less a man on the floor, and more a 'petty little dictator with a kink for obfuscation'. *[A Lydterval ensues.] (note: This part, according to the bloopers, had to be rerecorded because in the original recording, Lydia starts laughing for over thirty seconds before saying "It's Alex telling Alex that he's got a 'kink for obfuscation'.")*

Barret invites in the squizzard, and Hamid asks them what was going on with the gate spell in Rome, adding that he hates them. Hamid gets a telepathic message: *"Ignore the small man. His answers are, at best, petty."* Hamid agrees, and Barret scolds the squizzard for communicating telepathically. Hamid smiles at that. Hamid detects that Barret is very unhappy with the telepathy situation. The squizzard then starts speaking out loud: the portal would close if not maintained, and that wouldn't be beneficial- they enjoy their presence in this world. Azu asks if the squizzards would disappear if the portal closed, and the squizzard replies that it would make life harder. The portal is a conduit for power. The squizzards are aware of the time dilation, and use it to their advantage. Azu asks if Hades is in there, and the squizzard assents. Azu asks if this is Hades' plan, and the squizzard says that it isn't. the squizzard likens Hades to a very large, very tired shark, and says the squizzards move in Hades' wake. Azu asks what Hades wants, and the squizzard says they don't know. Barret chimes in, saying that Hades is the only god he gets, since he thinks Hades just wants to be the 'head honcho' at the top of the pile. Azu disagrees, saying that gods are more complicated than that. Azu turns her back on Barret, and asks the squizzard if Hades cares what the squizzards do. "Does the storm care for the actions of a wave?", replies the squizzard. Azu leans back and thinks about Poseidon and metaphors.

Another telepathic message arrives for Hamid: "*The small man is here, because he does have some use. He does not speak for the Cult or for us. We allow him to think he does, because then he remains active, productive, and useful."* Hamid says that makes sense, and Barret scolds the squizzard again. Hamid then asks the squizzard and Barret about what they've done so far to try and stop the infection, how those attempts failed, and what their next steps are. Barret says that the original plan with the simulacrum was simpler, and that it would obey the cult. Once the Simulacrum started to have and follow its own intentions, the cult tried to infiltrate it, and that went very badly. The squizzard remains impassive. After that, the cult tried to bring down the Simulacrum using magic and so on, and that the squizzards prefer to do so from their own 'home', or plane. This didn't work. The last attempt was to work with, or possibly manipulate, the Harlequins, and beat the Simulacrum in a war. This also failed.

Hamid congratulates Barret, saying it's time for him to finally be a 'nice big tool'. He asks what Barret's worked out, and Barret says the way to kill it is a combination of the magical and the mundane. It would require two things. Firstly the fetching of an item using muscle, 'punching their way' to it, and secondly punching their way to the place where the item can be used. Currently the Cult doesn't have anyone available who can 'punch'. Hamid asks what the missing piece is, and where it can be found. Barret says he can only answer those questions at the next location.

Outside, Cel is sitting by Zolf. Zolf asks how it's going inside, and Cel is worried that Barret seems to happy about his plan, and that they are worried they might be convinced by it ,and that they need time to reflect. they don't really know what to do. Zolf doesn't know what to do either, and that's why he's outside too. They then both hear the sound of approaching footsteps, one set large and heavy, and the other set very small.

## Quotes

**Barret**: ""I'm here as a guide, I'm not here as a best friend."
**Hamid**: "Ha!"
**Azu**: "Good. You'll always be a man on the floor."
**Hamid**: "You don't have friends, Barret."
―Azu and Hamid remind Barret of his place.

**Cel**: "Self-determination for everyone and self-determination just for humans are actually very different things."
**Hamid**: "Indeed."
**Barret**: "Ah, and there you go. That right there is the nub of the difference [between the Harlequins and the Cult of Hades]. You have to understand, my little friends out there, they're not actually The Cult Of Hades, they're just one of a long list of questionable allies they've made over the years."
―Cel and Hamid aren't impressed with the humans-first ideals of the cult of Hades that Barret explains.

**Barret**: "Feel free to detect *this* thought, Hamid: If I die, everyone dies."
**Azu**: "How about I just chop something off you might miss?"
**Barret**: (detected thought) ...Ah.
―Barret rethinks what it means to be needed alive following Azu's suggestion.

**Barret**: (to Wilde) Do you really have such little control over your "team"?
**Cel**: "I- I do not want to be part of any plan that gives this man more power!" (Cel walks out.)
**Wilde**: "The only thing I'd have said different to Hamid is that I'd probably been, you know, a bit more cruel. You're not so much a man on the floor as a petty little dictator with a, er, a sort of kink for obfuscation."
―Barret tries and fails again to insult Wilde; Cel leaves the situation.

**Zolf**: "How's it going there? Looks like you've met Barret"
**Cel**: "There's a plan that he wants us to be part of, and he seems altogether happy about the plan; and any plan that makes that man happy, I worry would be just as bad for the world as whatever is happening right now... And I don't really want to be in the room where I could be convinced that it's a good plan, because I think that he's good at convincing people, but he's not good. So... I kind of,.. I- I think there needs to be some reflection on whatever it is he asks us to do, because...I don't want [the squizzards] in charge of reality, so I came here. I don't really know what to do."
**Zolf**: "Nope- that's why I'm out here."
―Cel confides in Zolf outside Barret's dining room.
## Dice rolls & mechanics

* Hamid casts Detect Thoughts on Barret: Barret chooses to automatically fail his save
* Knowledge (religion) for Azu to find out how much of a problem it is that the infection is multiplanar: 16
* Will save for Zolf against a mind-affecting divination effect from a squizzard: 20 (success)