2023 Power Rankings-Week 10

## Introduction

Week 9 was turned on its head when the matchups we thought would be competitive were blowouts (Papa over momma, Shotti over Idiots), and the ones we thought could be blowouts turned into all-timers.

On Sunday night football, Pain Train vs. Duck Punchers took the spotlight. Duck Punchers was a heavy favorite, despite being just 2-6. In the dark corners of league chats and text threads, Duck Punchers is spoken of as an existential threat. It's like him making playoffs, Trump getting re-elected, and the polar ice caps melting, in that order. A win this week would have put Duck Punchers a game out of 6th place with a score advantage of over 100 points.

And then came C.J. Stroud. Or maybe we should call him J.C. Shroud because Jesus Christ is this guy good, and in week 9 he rose Pain Train from the dead and cast a shroud of darkness over Duck Punchers' playoff aspirations.

Stroud scored 72.80 while connecting with Pain Train flex WR Tank Dell, who finished with 42.05. Add this to the fact that George Pickens had two catches for negative yardage, and it looked like Pain Train was running away with this (or at least Kenneth Walking away). But Duck Punchers stormed back in the late window with a dominating 38 from LV Defense against just 7.80 from Davante Adams. And CeeDee Lamb played his greatest hits, nearly topping his career day from a week earlier. Duck was back in this, but Dalton Kincaid could not be stopped. On Sunday night, Kincaid went point for point against Joe Mixon, finishing with 20.10 to Mixon's 20.83.

In a beautiful twist of fate, Pain Train would not have won this game if they had DJ Moore and Travis Kelce still on their team.

So then all eyes turned to an upset in the making that would have shaken the very fabric of this season. Sweet Dee was going blow for blow with Paddock 9. Burrow outscored Hurts, Antonio Gibson outscored T.J. Hockenson, Andrews outscored Kelce four times over. It was happening people. After Sweet Dee built a good lead, Paddock 9 was bailed out by a last minute garbage TD from Stefon Diggs that he also accompanied with a 2-pt conversion.

Despite all her efforts, it seemed like she would still fall short.

But then MNF happened. It was Ekeler for Dee, up against Allen for Paddock 9. And despite the Jets offense somehow looking worse than the Patriots (okay, that's a stretch), their defense is bringing 2000 Ravens energy, with shades of Revis island. Keenan Allen was shut down, and the only thing opened seemed to be dump offs to Ekeler. By halftime, Sweet Dee was back in this and projected to win.

But in the second half, Paddock 9 did just enough to claw themselves into the lead, until once again it came down to a goal line stop like last week when Duck's kicker missed an easy field goal.

A harrowing moment occurred late when the Jets coughed up the football, leading to an easy score by Austin Ekeler. But Ekeler was too close to the goal line and didn't get the yardage he needed to give Chantel the two yards she needed to pull the last minute upset. And that was the last scoring play of the matchup.

So that is how Paddock 9 ties the record for the longest winning streak in LOC history, with a chance to break that streak against the league's most legendary dynasty in week 10.

## Matchup Recap

* Paddock 9 wins at the buzzer to extend his streak and sweep the season series against Sweet Dee (12-6). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Multiverse of Mattness, in the third single-header and third November matchup in a row for these two teams, wins a low scoring, messy affair against RIPDab (14-8). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Shotti Bunch revs up for his big week 10 showdown by sharpening his knives against The Stupid Idiots (7-4). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Papa's Posse gets within striking distance of a playoff seed with a must-win no-doubter against a weak momma said (9-14). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train plays spoiler against Duck Punchers (9-12). **Next Matchup: N/A**

## Stat Chat

* Paddock 9 becomes the first team to clinch a playoff berth before week 10.
* Paddock 9 enters week 10 with the second-largest points total of all-time. First place? 2016's The Shotti Bunch with 2232.63 points.
* Paddock 9's margin of victory this week was 0.16, one of the narrowest of all-time. P9 has won their last two games by a combined 5.20 points.
* Paddock 9 has won three double-headers so far this season, and has won the first leg of his other two. He will become the first team to accomplish a double-header sweep if he defeats Shotti in week 10 and Pain Train in week 12.
* Sweet Dee becomes the third team to reach 100 combined losses, also becoming the first non-DiGennaro to hit that mark.
* Duck Punchers has 7+ losses for just the second time, and the first time since 2015.

## Longest Win Streaks of All-Time (by Team) - Updated

\*championship year

Updated 11/09/23

And there it is. Paddock 9 and Pain Train stand together atop the chart. We have never seen a team win double-digit games in a row in a single season. We have not seen a 9-game win streak since the inaugural year of LOC. What will we see this week?

## Longest Winning Streaks to Start a Season by Team - Updated

Updated 11/09/23

We are all witness.

## Seasons with 9 or More Wins by Team

Seasons of 9 or more Wins by Each Team
 The Shotti Bunch
 ma ma momma said
 Pain Train
 Multiverse of Mattness
 RIPDab
 Paddock 9
 Papa's Posse
 Sweet Dee

Have never needed to pop this sucker on here this early.

So there is Paddock 9, with just his second season over 9 wins. Idiots and Mattness sit at 6, with an outside shot at getting to 9 wins if they go 3-2 over the last five weeks.

Shotti and momma would have to go 4-1, which isn't impossible but not likely considering their inconsistency this year.

RIPDab would need to win out, again not likely to happen given the volatility of the league.

Duck does not have a chance to extend himself to 7 such seasons.

Sweet Dee will have to wait at least another year to get on this list.

## Above and Below

A chart to track how many games above/below projections for each team.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings tracks the standings if the top five scoring teams won every week regardless of matchup.

### 2023

Shotti LUUUURKING. Dee and Duck moving up, despite continuing to lose. Schedule Gremlin got them.

## Trade Tracker

Starts (Paddock 9):

* 5

Starts (RIPDab)

* 6

Rams offense starting to look ugly. Shades of 2022.

## Power Rankings - Week 9

### 1(1). Paddock 9

Paddock 9-0 is going through the phase of the undefeated season where they need to get a little bit lucky, sort of like how the Patriots only beat the Ravens in 2007 because of two holding penalties on 4th down stops, or how pitchers get their no-hitters with the help of a diving catch or questionable call. He was one carry for one yard away from losing his perfect record, and now the bye week that he has been dreading all year is upon him.

### 2(4). The Shotti Bunch

Shotti is the sneakiest team in the LOC right now. They are 4-1 over their last five games, with their only loss coming after a late MattJinx steamrolled their comeback attempt. Over that stretch, they have failed to break 200 just once and have scored over 247 twice, including a 337 point explosion in week five. Their surge is so great that they have moved into 2nd on the season in scoring, and last week they were able to score over projection despite Tyreek Hill's worst game of the season. Halloween is over but still plenty to be scared about right now with Shotti heating up late.

### 3(2). Duck Punchers

A gut punch for Duck Puncher as playoff hopes dim. You know things are getting bad when they have had to bench Kenneth Walker, who was outsnapped by Zach "Haskins" Chardonnay in back-to-back weeks. It's almost like touching the ball 122 times in six games took some sort of toll on his body, which is weird. Thought these guys were supposed to be tough? The worst part is that Duck had four players on his bench that he could have subbed in to give him the win. But that's Fantasy. Any way, they are huge favorites against a Mahomes-less momma, but anything short of undefeated the rest of the way means elimination for Duck.

### 4(5). Multiverse of Mattness

The lucky recipient of the lowest points-against of the season, Mattness is certainly not going to complain about a breezy 183.46 against per game after having to deal with 226.14 per game a year ago. Despite producing on the lower end of expectations, Mattness has managed to sustain a .500 record without Deebo, Jefferson, and at various points Waller and Bijan. Now, as the team gets healthier, it will come down to whether they can get those final few wins to secure playoffs and whether they can boost their points to hang with the big dawgs come late December.

### 5(3). Ma ma momma said

The Gauntlet of the Gods is off to a rough start, as momma was taken down by the 2011 Glory Bowl winner to kick off the final test of the 2022 champion's title defense. In just about the weirdest move I've ever seen, momma benched Alexander Mattison and Hollywood Brown for Royce Freeman and Michael Thomas. Neither move paid off, as it turns out the year is 2023 and not 2019. But that hardly matters because the good players didn't show up either. Ja'Marr Chase was No'Warr to be found, while Tyler Lockett couldn't Lock down five of his eight targets. And Patrick Mahomes looks like he just needs a week off right now and can you blame him? Throwing to Skyy Moore cannot be easy.

### 6(6). The Stupid Idiots

Their game against Shotti was closer than it should have been, especially with Chris Godwin looking Chris Human, James Cook a few pasta strainers short of a full set of kitchen utensils, and Tennessee defense finding a way to hold a team to 20 points while also not doing anything fantasy worthy. If only they had started Noah Brown, that WR for the Houston Texans that I have totally heard of before Sunday.

### 7(7). Papa's Posse

QB has been a moving target for Papa this season. From Watson to Cousins, and now Carr is at the wheel. Cleveland might not have given him the QB1 he had hoped, but he has struck brown gold in Cleveland Defense (44 points). Also made the ballsy move of starting Taysom Hill, who nearly threw for as many touchdowns as Patrick Mahomes. Osborn might not be the Bourne replacement he was birthed to be, and Adam Thielen wasn't Feelen' all that special, but enough pieces worked to stay alive. Now they have a shot at the guy holding on to the 6th seed that Papa covets: RIPDab.

### 8(8). RIPDab

You know that Yahoo hates Nate's team when he scores 166.87 and that is beating projection. Things started off hot on Thursday night, with Jaylen Warren and Spears both balling out somehow. But then not much else happened until the next night games. Josh Allen on SNF and LAC defense on MNF combined for 50% of Dab's total score, and both players ended up being too little too. Losing Dallas Goedert for the second season in a row, RIPDab has dealt with blow after blow and not the kind that he prefers.

### 9(9). Sweet Dee

A really good effort that begs the question: if they had just put a little thought into their starting defense, would they have taken down one of the greatest regular season teams ever? Dee had so many players on the bye that their bench scored 0 points, which feels rare. But they also had an empty bench spot, which they could have easily used to grab a better defensive option. Miami against KC could not have looked appealing.

### 10(10). Pain Train

Addition by subtraction? Kelce and DJ Moore have not been very good the last few weeks, so at this point Pain Train has been better off without them. They nearly won last week and then pulled it off this week. They have a chance to really spoil some seasons with their remaining schedule. They have perfect Paddock in 12, they have bubble teams Dab and Dee in weeks 11 and 13, and they have the two low-scoring 6-3 teams, jockeying for a bye spot, in weeks 10 and 14.

## Matchup of the Week: Pat vs. Joe - GOAT RODEO

Goat Rodeo is a slang term for when something goes disastrously wrong. So bad that all you can do is sit back and watch it all unfold.

But this week this takes on two meanings. Because this is also the battle of the first and greatest dynasty, vs. the potential second dynasty. Of a team with over 100 wins, and a team with the best regular season ever. It's the battle of two GOATs in the LOC.

But this matchup is not without its disasterous aspect. Because we all know by now that this is the week. The perfect storm for Paddock 9. So many talented players on bye that they cannot even make an add/drop. It is so bad that at this moment Paddock 9 is starting all three RBs for the Baltimore Ravens. It is a trainwreck. A perfect storm. A beautiful disaster.

And yet...

Why do I feel like this is going to be close? Shotti is coming off a string of fantastic performances, but he has no Tyreek Hill and no Swift. Instead, he is forced to play Jameson Williams, who has been known to shit the bed. I mean okay, yes, I do see that Jamison Crowder is playing for Paddock 9. Did not even know that guy was still in the league, but apparently this is like the rule of the Siths and there must always be two Jamison's in the league at one time.

And then you have QBs. Paddock 9 can't start Jaylen Hurts, so instead it's time for Sam Howell. Bunch is getting Goff back from the bye, which should be a nice boost.

And finally, Stefon Diggs is playing Monday night against Denver. Why does it feel like every time there is a big game for Pat, Stefon Diggs is last man standing? He was the last guy up when Pat won his second Glory Bowl. He played in prime time just last week against Sweet Dee. And now again, in a big moment, he will have the spotlight.

For Shotti, Breece Hall will play in primetime for the second week in a row and hope to break through a Las Vegas defense that just got gouged by Saquon Barkley.

This is one of the weirdest week 10 showdowns I've ever seen. Both teams are the top scorers, but their starting rosters are so depleted that it's hard to see either having a big game. And if that's true, who does that favor?

Shotti and Paddock are the only two teams with an active streak of games over 200 points that extends beyond two games. Paddock is at 8 games, while Shotti is at 3.

During Paddock's current 3-game win streak against Shotti, which includes their only postseason meeting, P9 has scored in the 100s, 200s, and 300s. Shotti, meanwhile, has only broken 200 points once in their last six matches, but that one time came earlier this year when they logged the 24th-highest regular season point total for a losing team.

If Paddock 9 wins, he will own the longest win streak ever, keep an undefeated season alive, and be one win away from a double-header sweep for the first time in LOC history.

If Shotti wins, it will be his biggest victory since the fourth Glory Bowl trophy all those years ago. It will signal a return to form that we have not seen from this squad in five years.

The moment could not be bigger for either of these teams.

## Survivor Update - Week 9

Paddock 9 and Mattness stay alive by both picking Cleveland against the Cardinals. PLAY ON.

## Conclusion

Somehow there are only five games left to the season. Next week, we bring back the playoff magic number charts. I simply cannot believe it.

In other news, the work stoppage is officially over and I will be going back to work just in time for the fantasy playoff push. I will do my best to maintain these writeups, but this could mean going back to Sunday publications instead of Thursday (BOOOO). But like I said, I will do my best. Feel like it's been a good season so far, so let's finish strong right?