Borderwall/Quotes

General
References
Notes/Trivia
**Quotes**
Goofs

**Steve**: Dammit, Bud! Do your job and no more excuses. I'd demote you, but you're already the lowest-ranking government employee. If you got demoted again, you'd reset at the top and become president. The only one that's ever happened to was George W. Bush.

*[Bud finds the wreckage of an old plane crash]*
**Bud**: Oh, my God, an old plane! It must have been headed for the sky and got lost!

**Becky**: What are they gonna do with the money?
**Bud**: They're having a town meeting tonight, to decide, but I'm gonna make sure they use it to build a border wall.
**Becky**: Dad, a border wall would do nothing but waste taxpayers money!
**Sanford**: Why would you wanna build a bowling ball? Isn't it more important we get my hearing checked?

**Ernesto**: I know a wall would be bad, but at least it would put Ramirez landscaping out of business. They're so bad, they make Diego landscaping look like Martinez landscaping. Ha ha. I told that at LeafCon, it killed.

**Ernesto**: Gonzalez Landscaping: We love you lawn time!

**Steve**: Buckwald, you're fired.
**Bud**: What!?
**Steve**: With that wall up, we don't need you anymore, so hand in your gun and uniform.
*[Bud takes off his uniform, revealing a Hello Kitty shirt underneath]*
**Steve**: What the hell are you wearing a Hello Kitty shirt for?
**Bud**: You're not my boss anymore, I don't have to tell you.
**Steve**: You're rehired.
**Bud**: I love Hello Kitty. She's a kitty and she has a nice greeting.
**Steve**: You're fired.

**Gert**: Don't you worry, daddy, we gunna be fine. I still have those pennies the Goldbergs gave us for Trick-or-Treat.

**Janice**: Sanford, you're 24 and able-bodied. Maybe you could go out and get a job.
**Sanford**: Sure. Maybe I could sell drugs. How would you feel if I were to sell drugs?
*[Cutaway to a spy van, parked outside the house]*
**Spy**: He's amazing. They really think he's their son.

**Ernesto**: Hola Bud, you wanna come over for a Cerveza?
**Bud**: No, I don't wanna watch cockroaches dance around a hat.

**Gert**: None of you turkey had better bother daddy, while he's resting or I'll whip you with my CB antenna.
*[Gert takes out a CB antenna and gets a signal from a passing by trucker]*
**Trucker**: Any little girls out there? Come back.

**Bud**: Janice, do you hear Spanish whispering?
**Janice**: You mean now or when you're out at bowling night?
**Bud**: What?
**Janice**: Uh, I meant the store.

**Mexican**: Gracias, Senor. By the way, you know about the ...
**Bud**: Yeah, he's the son we don't talk about.
*[A monstrous, deviated version of Sanford is seen, chained up in the floorboards under the bathroom, screaming and flailing about]*

**Bud**: Hey, Ernesto. I've got a message for ya.
**Ernesto**: What is it?
**Bud**: Look up in the sky.
*[Ernesto looks up in the sky and skywriting is seen, spelling out "Bud Buckwald"]*
**Bud**: Aw, crap. I filled out the skywriting form wrong. It's supposed to say "I quit."
**Ernesto**: Is that your social security number?
*[The skywriting then reveals the number "549-24-1889"]*
**Bud:** Aaaah! I gotta call everyone in town and tell them not to look up!

**Sanford**: I don't like jazz. Especially, when I get it all over my face. Wait, I'm thinking of adult contemporary.

*[Sanford bribes Steve with money]*
**Bud**: Here's $1,000. Why don't you just forget what you saw?
**Steve**: Where did you get $1,000?
**Bud**: Here's $2,000, to forget about that $1,000 dollars you saw and before you ask, here's $3,000.

**Janice**: Well, Bud, I'm sorry your border wall didn't work out.
**Bud**: Yeah, I just wanted to be the man for once.
**Janice**: Well, you'll always be my man. And look on the bright side. Your album reached the top of the jazz charts. You sold seven copies.

Previous Episode's Quotes
///
**Borderwall's Quotes**
\\\
Next Episode's Quotes