recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Dallas Coleman

Dallas Coleman is a weatherman.

"Well I'm not really qualified (insert name here.)" Dallas Coleman's catchphrase whenever someone asks for his help.

## Overview

As a weatherman, Coleman is known for his trademark grin and witty sense of humour. He appears in a few funnypastas. Usually, a character in the lost episode will get into some kind of problem usually a fight and will ask Dallas for help. Dallas however then informs the person that he isn't really qualified to help. Dallas only serves as a gag character, and as such hasn't had any major roles in funnypastas as of yet.

## Trivia

* As a joke character, Dallas Coleman hasn't had any major roles in funnypastas. It remains unknown if he ever will.
Hartley Dale High School

Hartley Dale High School is a high school in Great Britain. It's catchment area included Windago Road and the surrounding neighbourhood of Hartley Dale.

## Overview

It only takes about ten minutes to get from the town of Hartley Dale to the school which is located in the very outskirts of the town. The school has a football team and hopscotch team. The school has been cited by many as the worst school in Great Britain as most of the teachers are corrupt and the students are bullying psychopaths. From 2006 to 2019, Greg Blakeman was the headteacher until he was killed and impersonated by a Slitheen. The Slitheen eventually switched to disguising itself as General R. Asquith leaving Hartley Dale without a headteacher. With Blakeman having mysteriously disappeared, the deputy head Dr Crabblesnitch took control.

## History

The school was built in 1946 on top of an old rundown army barracks. Dot was one of the oldest people to serve at the school having been employed there since the 1960's. In 1998, Greg Blakeman joined the school as a maths teacher. From 2002 to 2006, Voward Camlin was the headteacher until Blakeman was able to expose his corruption with Blakeman taking his place. Under Blakeman, the school rose considerably in student population, and is now considered one of the most populous schools in Great Britain. In late 2019, Blakeman mysteriously disappeared without reason, and so deputy head Dr Crabblesnitch replaced him. Crabblesnitch was far more strict and serious than Blakeman was. He like the rest of the school believed that Blakeman had simply disappeared. Crabblesnitch introduced several after school clubs, and mainly did so that his students and staff would stop comparing him unfavorly to Blakeman.

## Staff

Greg Blakeman (Maths Teacher) 1998-2006 formerly (Headteacher) (2006-2019) deceased

Dr Crabblesnitch (Deputy Headteacher later Headteacher)

Dot (Lunch Lady Later Head Chef)

Francis Bakewell (Head Chef) formerly

Mr Panda (Media Studies Teacher)

Gabriel Mountain (Teaching Aide)

Lionel Galloway (English Teacher)

Mr Hattrick (Maths Teacher)

## Students

Maxwell Jones

Richard Fatchurd

Fritz possibly

Notso Hott

## Former Students

Moro

Derek Barrel deceased

Edmund Balthazar

Fred Ran

Father Jessop deceased

## Trivia

* Hartley Dale High School much like the surrounding town of Hartley Dale does not exist in real life.
Caramel Joe

Caramel Joe was a high-ranking member of Dorian Tyrell's Gang and part of Dorian's plot to overthrow Niko. Prior to joining team Tyrell, Joe had worked for Niko as a hitman.

"Whoa boss are you okay?"-Joe after witnessing Dorian's transformation into the Bootleg Hulk.

## Overview

Caramel Joe was born in Birkland in 1977. He was living in Oakton City in 2013 when he introduced Mike to the city and its culture. Joe acted as Mike's first contact while in the city, and instructed Mike to build up his arsenal if he wanted to become a true gangster. Joe went back to Birkland at some point after 2013 and prior to 2021, he worked for a short while as a hitman for Niko. Joe eventually became affiliated with Dorian Tyrell becoming a high-ranking enforcer in his gang, and after Tyrell went into hiding following his murder of Niko after becoming Bootleg Hulk, Joe and Freeze were caught not long after while trying to rob the First National Bank of Birkland. Freeze was frozen in a fridge while Joe was ironically boiled to death in a big pot of searing hot caramel.

## Trivia

* His grandfather Skater Joe used to hunt in the mountains of rural Spain during the 1800's. Dorian briefly wonders how Skater Joe was able to own a skateboard before they were invented, but quickly brushes it off.
* Terrified of dogs, and refuses to go any missions that have dogs involved.
Captain Ahab

Captain Ahab is the captain of the Peqoud. He is obsessed with hunting down and killing the legendary white sperm whale known as Moby Dick.

"Now listen here and listen well for here's a warning I may tell about a monster of the sea who goes by the name of Moby."-Ahab's song on Moby Dick.

## Captain Ahab

### Affiliation

Ahab's Salty CrewIshmael

Queequeg

Grumpy Bear

Mighty Eagle

## Overview

The captain of the Peqoud, Captain Ahab led a crew into the open seas of Peppermint Park on a quiet Sunday afternoon in January 2020. Ahab's boat was capsized by the mother of the white sperm whale known as Moby Dick. The entire crew was killed by Moby's mother, while Ahab was thrown into the cold waters and somehow lost one of his legs because of this encounter. Before the crew was killed, Ahab had managed to throw a fatal harpoon into the stomach of Moby's mother killing her. Unware that he has already killed the whale that injured him, Ahab starts a suicide mission to find the legendary Moby Dick. It remains unknown if he will ever succeed in finding and killing Moby once and for all.

## Funnypasta Appearances

Bert Goes To Anger Management (Sesame Street Lost Episode)

Why I'll Never Like The Cat In The Hat

How Richard Fatchurd Stole Christmas Part Two: The Lesser Of Two Evils

How Richard Fatchurd Stole Christmas Part Three: Glad Tidings We Bring

The One Where Ross Shows His True Colours (Friends Lost Episode)

The Spyro 1 Copy From Hell

## Trivia

* It is odd that Ahab is allowed to go whaling since whaling is banned in the United States now.
* It is possible that Ahab paid the law off which enables for him to go whaling.
* Though never stated, Ahab has a wife and child back home.
* He has a weird obsession of making people like Ishmael and Grumpy Bear climb into the crows nest.
Nate Bennett

Nate Bennett was a small time crook based in Los Angeles until he was killed by Trix Rabbit.

## Overview

A small time crook based in Los Angeles; Bennett was wanted by the LAPD for various small time dealings, however he was careful to cover his tracks. Trick Rabbit had killed Bennett taking his skin as a disguise having been taught by the Sltiheen Family how to do so. As Bennett, Trix attempted to purchase some Trix cereal from his local store, and he nearly succeeded in finally getting some Trix only to realise upon reaching his apartment that he didn't have any milk in his fridge much to his horror.

## Trivia

* Always preferred boring cereals like Cheerio's and Wheeties and Trix used this to his advantage, while disguised as Bennett he purchased boring cereals first before buying some Trix in order to deflect suspicion.
* Resided in an apartment in Yucker Street. After Trix killed Bennett; he proceeded to take over the apartment never even bothering to remove Bennett's name from the door,
* One of the very few characters not to have an entry in the funnypasta guide.
Honey Trapping

**Honey Trapping** or **honey-potting** is the use of seductresses by organized crime syndicates. The seductive female mobster is ordered to blackmail, bribe, or threaten a male police officer, government agent, politician, judge, or lawyer. Seductresses can also be used to recruit a new member to the gang or even assassinate a rival mobster or other man who betrayed the gang. There are other ways this can be done. However, these are the three most common. It is pretty kinky AF as the seductress just about always sleeps with the man she's seducing. The use of seductresses is also a very powerful way of how mobsters can exercise total power of typically weak men's sexual desires.
Strickland (Funnypasta Version)

Strickland was commissioner of the Croydon Police Department (CPD) until he was killed by Rabe Maniels and then converted into a skin suit.

"As of now your investigation is on hold until my detectives come back with something."-Strickland to Sam and Max.

## Overview

Strickland was commissioner of the Croydon Police Department, and was a dear friend of General R. Asquith. Strickland was killed by Rabe Maniels and the Slitheen Family helped convert Strickland into a skin suit.

## Background

Strickland was originally a small time crook. He eventually retired from his criminal ways and joined the Croydon Police Department. He slowly worked his way through the ranks before earning a promotion to commissioner of the entire department.

## The LA Noire Scandal

In July 2019, Strickland was summoned to Rockstar Studios in London in order to view an LA Noire Bootleg. Strickland provided private detectives for General R. Asquith to use to investigate into the game. At one point, Strickland rudely ordered CLPD commissioners Sam and Max to come upstairs to the viewing room. He rudely told the pair that their investigation was on hold until his detectives come back with something useful.

## Death

Not long after this incident, Strickland was killed and converted into a skin suit by the Slitheen Family. Rabe then used Strickland's skin as a disguise. As Strickland, Rabe headed to Simeon Manor and attempted to kill Walter Simeon but failed miserably. The discarded skin suit of Strickland was left behind as Rabe and his associate Alfred Pennyworth left to pursue Simeon and The Shadow Reader. Strickland's skin suit was eventually delivered to the CPD in order to confirm his death. The CPD were baffled at the cause of death and they learned what truly happened to him.

## Trivia

* Strickland was a small time crook prior to becoming commissioner of the CPD.
* Strickland appartanely has a wife who loves to cook.
* Strickland and his wife live in a house by the brook.
* He is very rude and orders Sam and Max around despite them technically being his boss.
* He placed Simeon Manor under martial law with help from former Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
* It is never made clear why exactly Strickland placed the Manor under martial law.
Ewan McAlister

Ewan McAlister was Mayor of Cardiff City and was another member of The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. McAlister was one of the very few people to walk away free from the scandal and ended up making peace with The Lost Episode Resistance.

"We've got to put a lid on the press."-McAlister to his associates.

## Ewan McAlister

### Affiliation

The Rabe Maniels Crime SyndicateRabe Maniels deceased

Johnny Buggerton deceased

Donald Sandler formerly

Phil Green deceased

Harry Gaye formerly

## Overview

Ewan McAlister was Mayor of Cardiff City and was also the younger brother of Michael McAlister a senior CLPD detective. He was corrupt and collaborated with corrupt District Attorney Donald Sandler and Governor Phil Green by joining up with The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. McAlister was heavily involved in Maniels' plans for world domination. He used his high-ranking status as a public official to his advantage in order to protect Maniels and his associates from prison.

## The LA Noire Scandal

McAlister held a small meeting in his offices with fellow Syndicate members Donald Sandler, Phil Green, and Harry Gaye chief editor for the Daily Otter Newspaper. The group worried about the recent LA Noire bootleg leaking to the public, and how General R. Asquith and Richie's actions could possibly bring down the entire administration. A solution was offered by Assistant Commissioner Archie Colmyer who sold out his own bosses Sam and Max in exchange for a place in Rabe's Syndicate and a promotion to Commissioner.

## Taking Down McAlister

In December, McAlister attended a conference at 10 Downing Street with all the other members of the Syndicate. Sam and Max later discovered McAlister's name on Rabe's payroll book and also learned that he was helping Rabe with constructing the freeway. The payroll book and film were released to the public effectively destroying the reputation of McAlister and Donald Sandler.

## Aftermath

Ewan was one of the few people along with his brother Michael to walk away free from the scandal thanks to his high standing in the city. McAlister however redeemed himself and ended up making peace with the Resistance. He announced Sam and Max taking over as commissioners once again at a press conference..
The Commission

**The Commission** consists of five Italian-American Mafia families in New York City. It exists in the universes of real life, KGBSpetsnaz, *Grand Theft Auto*, and *The Godfather*.

## KGBSpetsnaz's version of the Commission

Note: Listed in order from most to least powerful.

* Graziatto Crime Family
* Padavona Crime Family
* Montresor Crime Family
* Luchesi Crime Family
* Fortunato Crime Family

## Their Real Life Equivalents in Order

* Gambino
* Genovese
* Bonnano
* Lucchese
* Colombo

## Their GTA Equivalents in Order

* Gambetti
* Pavano
* Messina
* Lupisella
* Ancelotti

## Their Godfather Equivalents in Order

* Corleone
* Barzini
* Tattaglia
* Cuneo
* Stracci

Note: Damon Redwood's version of the Commission is the same as this one minus the Corleone family.

## The Northern New Jersey Crime Family

In KGBSpetsnaz's universe, it's the D'Angelo crime family. They're a wannabe member of the Commission, but also a Cosa Nostra family.

* Real Life Equivalent: DeCavalcante
* Godfather Equivalent: DiMeo
* GTA Equivalent: Pegorino
Mr Diagoras

Mr Diagoras was the manager of a CEX store based in Greater London.

"Have a lovely day Sir!"-Diagoras trying to be nice, but failing miserably.

## Overview:

A veteran of the Tomato Sauce War, Diagoras saw somethings that made him realize he never wanted to be poor again. At some point prior to August 2018, Diagoras had become manager for a CEX store in Greater London. He is very rude to his customers, and always sneers at them, when they buy something that he doesn't think they should have. Diagoras also makes money on the side by working as a property developer, he is kind of a dictator at work, as when employees refuse to carry out his commands exactly as he wants, he has them taken to be given an incredibly brutal death by his piggy minions. He also orders people to go into the sewers to clean the pipes. Despite all this, they may possibly have been a good side to Diagoras as when Kinder Humpty Dumpty merged his DNA with Diagoras, he was able to feel emotions like empathy and compassion which were alien to the egg prior.

## Appears In

SpongeBob Needs Help

The Clubhouse Doomsday Project (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Lost Episode)

SpongeBob Needs Help 2023 Edition

## Trivia

* A native of the Bronx, but has been a proud citizen of London since 2007.
* He resides in Chiswick.
* Seemed like he was originally going to be a recurring character, but aside from the 2023 remake of SpongeBob Needs Help, Diagoras has disappeared from the funnypastaverse. This has happened to a few characters originally intended to be recurring characters but got quickly put on a bus such as Charles Dunne, Big Pat, Mayor Rodney Dangerfield, Major Thornton, and Sir Clooney.
Manfredo Tomasino

Manfredo Tomasino is the Clemente Family Consigliere.

"I could really use some cheese."-Manfredo during a big meeting.

"My father once told me that only man makes whales into monsters."-Manfredo trying to make a point, but failing miserably.

## Overview

Manfredo is a lifelong friend of Alberto Clemente, the pair had played softball together in the hills of Sicily. When Clemente established his family, Manfredo had been one of the first to join, and was appointed to serve as Clemente's consigliere and direct advisor. Since Clemente doesn't have an underboss, it appears that Manfredo also fills this rank which means should Clemente die, then Tomasino would inherit the Clemente Family. The pair are still close, and it was through Manfredo that some of the family's best soldiers were recruited including Luca Gurino, Rick Stache, Nick Geraci, Sammy Coin, Richie, and Potato Head Joe. He had helped Clemente with intervening in a problem involving the dreaded Coin which allowed Clemente to make the man his personal enforcer. Sadly as the years have passed especially since the start of the Walkers Conspiracy, Manfredo has mellowed considerably and is not ruthless enough anymore possibly due to his advanced age. He doesn't do much with the family these days preferring to bet away his money at the dog tracks, and is said to own several horse stables. This has led to rumours of Clemente wanting to cut Manfredo out of the picture.

## Trivia

* Been banned from driving on 11 occasions, but he continues to drive. He owns a Lassiter Series 69 as well as a Shurbert Frigate (the signature car of the Clemente Family). He prefers the Lassiter however.
* Manfredo is the older brother of Henry Tomasino, and is the third son of the legendary mobster Silvio Tomasino. Both brothers are estranged however, Henry once said that it had been years since he had last spoken with Manfredo. Manfredo may also be avoiding Henry deliberately since Henry is affiliated with the rival Scarpa Family who are his partners in the crisp trade.
* Very rarely seen in public except for when he is at the track, and he refuses to let photos to be taken of him, he claims to be allergic to the flash. The above picture was taken at Nick Geraci's Made Man ceremony without his knowledge.
A Saucy Salvation

A Saucy Salvation is a 1997 crime drama biopic based on the events of The Mint Sauce War which was a gang war between The Dryden Gang and Marconi Crime Syndicate which lasted from 1991-1993. The film was produced by Francis Ford Coppola and Stephen Spielberg.

## Plot Summary

In the final days of 1991, Granny Dryden and Frank Vinci are well on their way of becoming the most powerful crime lords in Great Britain, but become involved in a violent dispute with a rival mob boss by the name of Salvatore Marconi. The conflict escalates into a full scale gang war which lasts until 1993 with Marconi getting killed and Dryden and Vinci taking over Britain's criminal underworld.

## Dryden's Reaction

Granny Dryden and her gang loved the film, and they visited the set every day during the production. Ray Boccino who had recently just joined the gang was allowed to have a brief cameo in the film as a bartender named Elwig.

## Known Cast

Cameron Diaz as Granny Dryden

Bill Murray as Frank Vinci

James Caan as Salvatore Marconi

Dabney Coleman as Derek Barrel

Jackie Chan as Zi Wai

Ray Boccino as Elwig

## Trivia

* A poster for the film can be seen in The Purple Otter.
* It was Steve Claude's favourite film.
* The film won six golden globes and several other boring awards.
* Currently, A Sauce Salvation has a rare 100% on rotten tomatoes.
* It's so good that Cinema Sins refused to sin it.
* A sequel was planned to be released in 2007 which would depict the downfall of The Dryden Gang following their refusal in take part in the drug trade. Leonardo DiCaprio was slated to appear as Ray Boccino while Erik Estrada was slated to be appear as Vlad Papkov having become very impressed with the script. However, Granny Dryden refused to give Coppola and Spielberg the greenlight so the project was ultimately cancelled.
* The sequel was going to be called, "Sauce Gone."
Dwayne Pryce

Dwayne Pryce was a professor at Coolidge College in Empire Bay, and was a highly respected alumni of Northwestern Medical School. He was in charge of helping students gain admission to medical school.

"Finished his written in exam in only twenty minutes! This kid is a dynamo."-Pryce about Sir Clooney.

## Overview

Dwayne Pryce was a respected Northwestern alumni, and worked as a professor at Coolidge College. He was in charge of helping pre-medical students with applying and gaining admission to highly respected medical schools like Northwestern. Dwayne Pryce intercepted Sir Clooney on his travels for a cup of Espresso, and believed that he was one of his med students. Clooney was brought into an office in order to meet with some incredibly powerful Northwestern alums. During the interview, Clooney ended up pitting some camel tea into the waste basket which disgusted Dwayne and the rest of the doctors present.
Sergei

Sergei was a member of the Faustin Family who worked as a henchman for Steve Claude. He was considered to be very small time compared to Steve Claude and Jimmy Karnov.

"Sorry to disturb Steve but it seems those two peasants are trying to avoid paying what is owed."-Sergei to Steve Claude.

"Sergei was one of Steve's goons. He was relatively small time compared to Steve and Karnov. He did have a friend in the courts whatever that means."-Father O'Brien.

## Overview

Sergei works for Steve Claude and works for Claude as a hitman. He was considered small time but was still a close friend of Dimitri Rasaclov having gone to school with Dimitri's brother Eric. He had a friend in the courts who supplies him with information about how the authorities are focusing on Mikhail Faustin's activities.

## Background

Sergei was born in Russia and attended school with Dimitri Rasaclov's older brother Eric. He came to Empire Bay in 1999 where he made his bones working as a hitman for Mr Black. In 2005, Sergei joined the Faustin Family, and worked in the family as a hitman for Steve Claude. While being considered small time compared to Claude and Karnov, Sergei was a close friend of Dimitri, and supplied Dimitri with information about the authorities given to Sergei by his friend in the courts.

## Role In Funnypastas

Sergei was ordered by Steve Claude to collect the protection money from Father O'Brien and Monk Trunk, but they responded to his arrival by throwing a pray bucket full of homemade otter sauce on him. Outraged, Sergei headed to Steve's hangout over in Sand Island where he proceeded to let Steve know the news. Interestingly, Sergei did not accompany Steve and Jimmy Karnov in their assault on Chichester Chapel. Dimitri later tells Faustin that Sergei told him about Steve's murder after he had gotten a tip off from his friend in the courts.

## Trivia

* Sergei was a frequent visitor to The Purple Otter.
* Though considered small time by Father O'Brien, Sergei was a close friend of Dimitri Rasaclov, and he often supplied Rasaclov information cutesy of his friend in the courts.
Phil Bell

**Philip “Phil” Bell** (born June 28, 1967) was the underboss of the Pegorino Crime Family. He was born in New Jersey to an Irish-American father and an Italian-American mother. Because he was only half Italian, with his other half being Irish, Jimmy Pegorino often referred to him as “Saint Patrick”. He also had a nephew from his mother’s side of the family named Francesco Gallo. Francesco Gallo was an enforcer for the Pegorino crime family and the only surviving member alongside Phil and Michelle. In the end, Phil decided to help Niko Bellic and Little Jacob take down Jimmy Pegorino and Dimitri Rascalov. He also attended the wedding of Roman Bellic and Mallorie Bardas, alongside Niko, Kate McReary, Little Jacob, Real Badman, Florian Cravic, and Brucie Kibbutz.
Leroy Tate

Leroy Tate is a OCPD officer and a good friend of Captain Taxidermy.

"I really want to make Vice I mean you know you've got it made when you got that desk."-Leroy Tate.

## Overview

Leroy Tate is a police officer in the Oakton City Police Department, and is stationed at Wilshire Police Station in the Wilshire district of the city. He is a corrupt cop and is taking bribes from Errol Schroder. He has a twin brother named Malcom who is also on the force but is stationed at Central. Unlike Leroy, Malcom appears to be an honest cop. He is also a good friend of Captain Taxidermy, and accompanied him to bust the wedding of Colonel Dodo.

## Trivia

* He serves as a minor antagonist in Bride Of Colonel Dodo.
* Tate dislikes Dodo greatly for unknown reasons even though according to Dodo prior to his wedding the pair had never even met before.
Carlo

Carlo was a high-ranking member of The Niko Cartel and one of Niko's personal bodyguards. Following the death of his employer, Carlo joined up with Dorian Tyrell's Gang, and now works for Tyrell as his official head of security with the pair having forgone their differences.

## Overview

Carlo was one of Niko's two personal bodyguards; a position he shared with Niko's chief enforcer Domingo. Carlo and Domingo brought Dorian Tyrell to the Birkland Steelworks for an audience with the aging mob boss. The meeting turned bad with the two guards pinning Dorian to the ground with Carlo pointing a handgun to Tyrell's skull in order to threaten him into submission, as Niko threatens that if Dorian does not leave Birkland in a week he will be given a horrific punishment. Oddly, Carlo was not present at the fateful charity gala where his boss and Domingo were both killed by Dorian and his crew after Dorian became Bootleg Hulk. Carlo felt no ill will towards Dorian for killing his employer, and decided to join up with his gang. Carlo and Dorian forgot about their previous hatred, and Carlo became Dorian's head of security.

## Trivia

* Shown not to be as fiercely loyal to Niko as he was made out to be originally. Once Niko was murdered, Carlo felt no desire to avenge his death and quickly went to working for Dorian instead.
* He resided in Kale Street.
King Courtney

King Courtney was the head of the Uptown Yardies, and was infamous for betraying everyone who does business with him. Courtney was one of the most dangerous and powerful criminals in the country.

"Mon this is business, and a partnership equates to business ya know?"-King Courtney.

## Overview

The leader and founder of the Uptown Yardies; King Courtney has a rather infamous reputation for betraying anyone who does business with him. He only does business with people if it's for his own gain. Courtney was born in Jamaica in 1975, and came to Oakton City in 2000. Using his grandfather's connections, Courtney established his gang and not long after he befriended a local gentlemen's club owner named Zimos. Zimos agreed to use his club to launder Courtney's money, and the two quickly became best friends with Zimos becoming Courtney's right-hand man and underboss. Zimos was the only person that Courtney treated with constant respect, and never thought of ever doublecrossing him. His main businesses include drug dealing, racketeering, and brute force. Courtney is a proud investor in lost media, and has a personal stash of about 50 bootlegs. King Courtney made a collaboration with Russian mob boss; Ray Bulgarin, and offered to lead his troops to El Dorado in exchange for a cut of the gold. Upon stepping foot in El Dorado, Courtney was promptly executed by Chief Tannabok. It is unknown how Bulgarin felt about his accomplice's murder, but he blamed Uncle Boris for the failure to find El Dorado and orders for Boris to be killed. Following Courtney's death, the Yardies lost a considerable amount of power being forced to surrender a lot of their territory to more powerful gangs, and with Zimos in charge the gang is in a serious state of decay as according to informants, Zimos doesn't really know how to run a gang.

## Appears In

Birds Of A Feather (Sesame Street Lost Episode)

Patrick To The Stars (SpongeBob Lost Episode)

Why You Should Never Go To Premier Inn

The Eggcellent Adventure

The Road To El Dorado Smeg Version (Killed)

## Trivia

* He is from Jamaica but that's the only detail about his past life which is common knowledge. It is stated he has a brother who lives in Tennessee and works at a bar and grille.
* Originally slated to appear in Bride Of Colonel Dodo, after that story was cancelled, his death was changed to The Road To El Dorado Smeg Version.
* He resides on a boat in Torrington due to his love of boats.
Francis McReary

**Francis McReary** (born July 20, 1963) is a corrupt Irish-American CIA agent from Queens, New York City. He was the younger brother of Derrick McReary and older brother of Gerald McReary, Patrick McReary, and Kate McReary. Derrick, Gerald, and Patrick were all mobsters while Kate was the only decent one. Francis had done secret agent stuff in the Iberian peninsula, the Balkans, Italy, and Russia. Niko Bellic had to do dirty work for him such as killing a Puerto Rican guy named Marco Casablancas who tried to expose him with pictures in order to get paid by a lawyer named Tom Goldberg. In the pictures, Francis was visiting and forcing Italian, Russian, Balkan, and Iberian women into brothels. Francis also introduced Niko to Edward B. Fortune aka the “United Liberty Paper contact”. After finding out that Niko was hanging out with Derrick, he wanted Niko to kill Derrick. Niko was hesitant in doing so but ultimately listened to him, only because he feared that Edward B. Fortune would reconsider finding either Darko Brevic or Florian Cravic for killing one of his top agents. Finding one of those two was also Niko’s top priority upon coming to New York City, but it turned out, Darko was ultimately the one he was after.

## Trivia

* Francis, just like Edward B. Fortune, is secretly homosexual, and his relationship with Edward B. Fortune is what got him his promotion in the CIA.
	+ It is also somewhat ironic because he IS both a conservative and a Catholic.
Joseph Mentalino

Joseph 'Mental' Mentalino was a lieutenant of The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. Mentalino was also part of the Maniels Gang, and has been a close friend of Rabe Maniels for years.

"Torch the place do it now boys!"-Mentalino ordering his men to burn down the Croydon Compound.

## Joseph Mentalino

### Affiliation

The Rabe Maniels Crime SyndicateRabe Maniels deceased

Joe Galtosino deceased

## Overview

A lieutenant of The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate, Mentalino was in charge of leading attacks against The Lost Episode Resistance during The Great Gang War. Mentalino was responsible for burning down the Resistance's Croydon Compound, and ordered corrupt CLPD Sergeant Joe Galtosino to apprehend the Resistance at their Bristol Compound. Later, Mentalino was killed by the Resistance after they laced his burger with spicy foo triggering his stomach ulcer. The spicy foo became too much and Mentalino quickly died from the spiciness.

## Background

Born in Empire Bay, Joseph Mentalino lived in Little Italy in Trotter's Apartments Complex. As a child, Mentalino was the neighbourhood bully, and was a friend of Joe Barbaro. Mentalino was the best football player on the high school team. He moved to London at some point in the 2000's in order to take over the criminal underworld. He made his bones working as an executioner for Amigo Loans. Some years prior to 2018, Mentalino joined The Maniels Gang after impressing Rabe Maniels with his skills as an enforcer.
Cabinet

The Cabinet of the United Kingdom was a group of senior ministers, including the Prime Minister, in charge of the British government. From at least 1796, the Cabinet was in session in the Cabinet Room in 10 Downing

Street.

In May-June 2019, Rabe Maniels began competing with Jeremy Corbyn for Boris Johnson's job after the latter caused a great economic crisis. The Cabinet quickly jumped on Rabe's side, and he was able to win the vote with a landslide majority.

In July 2019, General R. Asquith was forced to explain the events of a recent LA Noire bootleg to the Cabinet. Asquith requested to have the game investigated by the White House, but was prevented by Prime Minister Rabe Maniels who convinced the Cabinet that the bootleg was nothing more than an elaborate hoax.

In September 2019, following the arrival of a Peppa Pig lost episode, General Asquith had Great Britain placed under martial law, and as such the Cabinet found themselves stranded outside of London. Airlifts were arranged for the rest of the Cabinet, but these were quickly cancelled by Maniels. Rabe told Asquith that they'd only get in the way.

The Cabinet was baffled with how to handle the revelation that Rabe was in charge of the most powerful crime syndicate in the country. Rabe claimed that he could keep them under his thumb as he only needed them to stay on his side for another two weeks.
Norse Gods

The **Norse Gods** are the gods and goddesses of the United Kingdom, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Iceland, western Germany, the Netherlands, Dutch-speaking Belgium, and German-speaking Switzerland.

* Odin: king of the gods
* Frigg: queen of the gods
* Thor: god of thunder
* Loki: god of the underworld
* Heimdall: god of security
* Tyr: god of war
* Frey: god of peace
* Freya: goddess of beauty
* Balder: god of light
Luca Silvestri

**Luca Silvestri** (October 25, 1978-April 2008) was a soldier for the Pegorino Crime Family. He was good friends with Joe DiLeo and Johnny Barbosa, both of whom were enforcers for the crime syndicate. Niko Bellic helped them collect diamonds that were stolen by Johnny Klebitz. Later on, Luca, Johnny, and Joe were actually planning on ripping Ray Boccino off so they could go to Las Vegas. Niko Bellic killed both Johnny and Joe and eventually killed Luca in a bathroom stall, collecting the diamonds from him.
Scotch pre-war.net Wiki

## Welcome to the Wiki!

This wiki is about all sorts of topics from film characters, novel characters, game characters, historical figures, and other fun topics. You can even make your own stories. I run this wiki, and you can do whatever want. No attacking other people though can't have that. But please enjoy yourselves.

## Describe your topic

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Luca Gurino

Luca 'Rat Soap' Gurino was a Caporegime in the Clemente Family. He was considered slimy and unapproachable, and yet he was considered the primary liaison between Clemente and his foot soldiers.

"No need to be so formal, call me Luca."-Luca pretending to be chummy to Vito Scaletta.

## Overview

A Clemente Family Capo, Luca tended to some of Clemente's more grim tasks at his meatpacking warehouse which led to him climbing up the ranks quickly. He earned the rank of Capo by burying his predecessor in the Culver Dam. Luca was not trusted by Clemente however and was thought to have been an informant for Frito Lay. The paranoid Clemente ordered his top enforcer Sammy Coin to kill Luca. Coin hacked Luca to pieces, and then sold his meat to a local lunch lady named Dot. Clemente quickly replaced Luca with fellow Capo Rick Stache.

## Trivia

* Resided in Greenfield.
* He was a frequent patron to Freddy's Bar the Clemente Family's primary hangout. He also owned a room at the Empire Arms Hotel.
* He is 5.11.
* Had a brother named Luigi who died at an unknown point in time.
* Nicknamed Roat Soap according to The Story Of Frankie C.
* A distant relative of the Ratface Family according to the guide.
* Owns a shurbert frigate.
* Looks exactly like Mr Felly, but they are not related.
* His favorite meal was two easy macs slapped together to make a super mac.
* Reportedly looked very shocked when he saw Sammy Coin coming towards him with an axe.
Knurkel

Knurkel was a resident of Peppermint Park, and the best friend of Snorkee. The pair lived together in an underground bunker. During the early 2000's, Knurkel worked as an NYPD informer.

"Wait a minute Snorkee you can't slow down time by slowing down a clock!"-Knurkel to Snorkee about time or something.

## Knurkel

### Affiliation

NYPD Snorkee

Terrence The Tractor

The Cat In The Hat formerly

Ernie

Alec Baldwin

Maynard Paynard

Piggle

## Overview

Knurkel was born in Peppermint Park in 1978, and was best friends with Snorkee from a young age with the pair having attended the same grade school in their youth. During the early 2000's, Knurkel lived in New York City for awhile where he found work as an NYPD informer. His assistance of the NYPD put several Oreo cookie dealers behind bars for life. In June 2006, Knurkel returned home to Peppermint Park where he reunited with his old friend Snorkee. The pair moved in together inside a underground bunker. As the years passed, Knurkel tried his best to make the world forget about his previous status as a police informant, and refuses to return to New York because the Oreo Cookie Mafia is still looking for him. Knurkel and Snorkee started tormenting their neighbour Ernie for his fear of The Cat In The Hat, but following the Cat's brief takeover of Earth, the pair grew a lot of respect for Ernie. They each gave Ernie looks of acceptance or some shit.

## Trivia

* He used to eat residents of Peppermint Park, but was forced to change his diet after Mayor Peppermint believed his appetite to be a form of cannibalism.
* It is unknown how long Knurkel was a police informant for other than the fact he worked with the NYPD while he was living in New York during the early 2000's.
* He is described as being more intelligent and ruthless than Snorkee, but he seems to be a lot less forgiving I guess.
* Knurkel never finished the sixth grade, and yet he still seems to be more intelligent than Snorkee.
* In the never made Cat In The Hat Strikes Back story, Knurkel was going to have a large role where it would be learned that he is love with The Cat In The Hat, and started a cult dedicated to him. His old contacts in New York were coming to get revenge since Knurkle ratted them out years prior.
* According to locals, Knurkel makes terrible gumball.
* Not a very good informant as he often had to be threatened into giving away information.
Doctor

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"Richard is there something you want to say? You look like you want to get something out son?"-The doctor asking Richard Bagg about why he is being so quiet during his interview.

Doctor is a minor character in National Lampoon's 2002 film Van Wilder serving as a minor antagonist.

## Overview

The doctor is a teacher at Northwestern Medical School, and was one of five doctors sent to interview Richard Bagg for admission to the university. Unlike his fellow doctors his real name is never revealed, and is only credited as doctor.

## Role In The Film

The dctor first makes an appearance ushering an interviewee out of an office when he bumps into Richard Bagg who is also on the interviewing list. The doctor happily introduces himself to Richard before pulling him into an office to meet the other doctors. Richar who is currently suffering from a laxative attack attempts to inform the doctor he needs to go, but the doctor is having none of it, and pulls Richard into the office regardless. During the interview, the doctor introduces Richard to the others, but eventually it proves to be too much for Richard who ends up defeacting explosively into a waste basket infront of the doctor and his friends. The doctor is the most horrified, and even begins to tear up. He also looks proper cross with Richard near the end. The doctor and the other doctors are not seen again in the film, but it is implied they told the university about the incident effectively ruining Richard's chances of going to Northwestern. This is hinted at in a deleted scene in which Richard remarks to Van, "You stole my girl, my stock at Northwestern, and.... my sanity."

## Personality

The doctor is sadistic, harsh, and very happy go lucky guy. He is very condescending but also has a great deal of pride. At the start of the interview, he seems the most chuffed of Richard even happliy proclaiming to the other doctors about how Richard finished his entrance exam in only twenty minutes. But he also seems to be the most shocked at Richard's later disgusting display, and seems to not quite be able to believe it. Despite Richard being the one defeacting in the basket, it was actually the doctor who caused it to happen. Richard flat out told the doctor he needed to go, but the doctor was too dumb, and forced him to meet the other doctors even though Richard clearly didn't want to. He is however very polite being the only one to ask if Richard is okay when he doesn't speak to his interviwers.

### Trivia

* Unlike his fellow interviwees, the doctor's name is never revealed.
* He appears to rather like Richard at the beginning of the interview, but no longer likes him after the incident.
* The doctor was on Richard's oral exam board.
* The doctor is credited as an antagonist due to him forcing Richard to attend his interview, and flat out not listening to Richard's plees to leave.
Harry Gaye

Harry Gaye was the Chief Editor for the Daily Otter Newspaper. He also a member of The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. He was considered to be very small time compared to Rabe Maniels' other business associates.

"The Daily Otter would lose all of it's creditability if we dropped such a juicy story now."-Gaye to Donald Sandler.

## Harry Gaye

### Affiliation

The Daily OtterThe Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate

Raymond Blu

Rabe Maniels deceased

Donald Sandler

Phil Green deceased

Ewan McAlister

## Overview

A graduate of Fordham University, Harry Gaye became the Chief Editor of the Daily Otter Newspaper. Gaye was corrupt and became involved with The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. Though relatively small time compared to the other members of the Syndicate; Harry played an important role by helping them generate positive stories about Rabe Maniels and his Syndicate.

## The LA Noire Scandal

In August 2019, Gaye attended a meeting with fellow Syndicate members Donald Sandler, Ewan McAlister, and Phil Green. The group expressed their concerns over the recent LA Noire bootleg controversy. Gaye denied that talking to his boss Raymond Blu would help as the Daily Otter would lose all of it's credibilty as a publisher if they dropped the story now. A solution was offered up by Assistant Commissioner Archie Colmyer who suggested deflecting the blame over to Commissioners Sam and Max who had ties to The Lost Episode Resistance. Gaye published the story, and the LA Noire scandal was quietly buried because of it.

## Epilogue

While breaking into Maniels Media, Sam and Max a payroll book which had Gaye's name attached to it. The book was released to the public and Gaye's reputation was permanently destroyed. Gaye was imprisoned for his crimes and was recently beaten up his fellow inmate Fatima.
Richard Richards

Richard Richards was a bus driver in London who was killed by Jaxter Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen and converted into a skin suit.

## Overview

Richard Richards was a local bus driver who was very popular among the locals. Jaxter Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen had killed Richards using his skin as a disguise. Upon discovering their location, Jaxter attempted to kill The Shadow Reader, but he managed to escape. Jaxter later appeared at the Cornwall Compound with the intent of finishing the job, but was killed when a cocktail of homemade otter sauce was accidentally thrown on him. Jaxter's death leads to the Resistance finding out what the Slitheen weakness was.
MT Bar

MT Bar was a member of The Easily Offended Knights of Nottingham. He was killed by Duck after trying to find out more about Duck's business.

"My friends call me Chocoalottie."-MT Bar's last words,

## MT Bar

### Affiliation

The Easily Offended Knights Of Nottingham

## Overview

MT Bar was a chocolate bar who was a good family man but a horrible employee as he often went out of his way to anger those who are providing support to the Knights. MT was ordered to investigate Duck's farm. He headed to a local hotel where he sat next to Duck by the pool. MT eventually melted to death because of the blazing sun. When the Knights learned of MT's death; they seeked immediate retribution but Duck was able to deflect the blame over to the Red & Yellow M&M's. He claimed that they wanted revenge because MT stole Red's fiancée several years ago. This was a huge red herring as the pair had never even met MT and didn't know who he was. The Knights are still chasing after Red and Yellow by the time of "An Eggcellent Adventure," meaning they still want revenge for the death of MT Bar.

## Funnypasta Appearances

Why You Should Never Buy Toilet Duck (Killed)

Ben Finally Snaps (Mentioned)

The Muppet Christmas Carol Bootleg Version (Mentioned)

A Ghostly Encounter (Appears As A Ghost)

The Problem With Jammie Dodgers (Mentioned)

## Trivia

* The Knights built a massive animal sanctuary in MT's memory, and named it after him.
* Though being described as being a horrible employee, the Knights continued to pursue Red and Yellow for revenge years after he was killed.
* MT Bar's friends call him Chocoalottie.
* MT had a friend in the courts.
* MT Bar appeared briefly as a ghost in "A Ghostly Encounter."
* MT voted for Rabe Maniels according to Frankely Hott.
Twisted Fate

Twisted Fate (Twisted Tail Pack Book 5) by Melanie James is a Paranormal Dating Agency novel.

## Publisher's summary

Ruby Jean St. James lives her life by the carefully crafted rules she created for herself. Do your job, keep your head down, and your emotions in check at all times. She works hard keeping her act together and avoiding certain people. Bad things tend to happen to those around her when she loses control.

Liam Olsen was blessed by the Gods in more ways than one. An ancient majik slumbers deep within him, waiting for the chance to wreak havoc on the one who dares to awaken the beast. More powerful than an ordinary shifter, Liam finds that the dark side of him knows no bounds.

Fates collide when they are tricked into a meeting by the infamous Gerri Wilder, owner of The Paranormal Dating Agency. Can they overcome their differences, or are they destined to destroy one another.
Chrissy Blakeman

Chrissy Blakeman was the wife of Greg Blakeman, and the mother of Sylvester and Peter Blakeman.

## Overview

A very annoying loud mouth; she joined her school's debate team which is how she met her future husband Greg Blakeman. Eventually, the pair entered a relationship and were forced by Blakeman's father William to get married after Chrissy fell pregnant with Sylvester. Blakeman tried to be a good father for the first few years of Sylvester's life until he turned three which is when Chrissy gave birth to Blakeman's second son Peter. The stress of being a parent finally got to Blakeman and he arranged to fake his death. Chrissy really hated her kids, and so went along with it and even took it one step further by attending a fake funeral for Greg. According to word of mouth; Chrissy moved to New Hampshire where she married a man named Phil. In reality, she and Blakeman had relocated to Hartley Dale where they remained for the rest of their lives until Blakeman mysteriously vanished. Chrissy wasn't that bothered as she quickly moved on to a clown on the street next door. She also really did marry a man named Phill, but cheats on him all the time just like Blakeman did with her.

## Trivia

* Described as having the personality of eight month old cat vomit.
* She was enjoyed along with Blakeman's mistress, and a young farmer by Jocrassa Fel-Fotch while he posed as Blakeman.
* Her name is only revealed in the funnypasta guide which also includes her history and meeting Blakeman.