Vampire Batman VS Zombie Spider-Man

**Vampire Batman VS Zombie Spider-Man** is the pilot episode of Battle Royale Bonus, pitting Vampire Batman from *DC Comics* against Zombie Spider-Man from *Marvel Comics*. In a fight against two monsterfied superheroes from different universes. Batman was voiced by Valentine "Viewtiful Valentine" Stokes, while Spider-Man was voiced by Marc "GaoGaiKingTheGreat" Rafanan.

## Description

*In a special Halloween-themed BONUS episode of Battle Royale, the guardians-turned-monsters of the night fight for superiority! We've seen Batman and Spider-Man go at it before, but as a heedless vampire and savage zombie, who will claim the other as their next meal? On this night of fright, we find out: It's Showtime!*

## Prelude

(Cue: Cross Riff - Ray Casarez)

**Rick**: "One of the greatest things about fiction is seeing so many different interpretations of your favorite characters, even ones where they may not be the heroes that they're usually known to be."

**Chelsea**: "Didn't someone already do this match?"

*Fearless Leader: "Shut up, this is totally **different!**"*

**Rick**: "You two'll understand when you have bills to pay."

**Manny**: "Uh... we *do*? That's why we took this job in the first place."

**Rick**: "Just introduce the guys already."

**Manny**: "Okay, fine. I'm Manny, and I'll be researching Vampire Batman, of *DC* Earth-43."

**Chelsea**: "I'm Chelsea, and I'll be researching Zombie Spider-Man, of *Marvel* Earth-2419."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "I am the Fight Analysis and Conclusion Tolerance Software, or F.A.C.T.S. for short, and I will be determining the victor with their research taken into
account."

**Rick**: "And I'm Rick Rocker, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is **Battle Royale**!"

## Vampire Batman

**Manny**: "Hold on. So do I have to go over the backstory *everyone* already knows again? 'Cause you know, *technically* we used this guy already."

**Rick**: "Okay, you can skip it, but go over the rest of the details."

**Manny**: "Cool."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**Manny**: "So, in an alternate universe, everything was perfectly normal... for Gotham City, at least, until one night, when Bruce Wayne was investigating a string of cutthroat murders, only to eventually discover that the culprit wasn't exactly human. Long story short, Dracula exists in this *DC* universe."

**Chelsea**: "Oh, so is this like that one movie no one remembers?"

**Manny**: "No... 'cause you just remembered it."

**Chelsea**: "Touché."

**Manny**: "But, to answer you question, not exactly. One night, while Bruce was asleep, this smokin' hot vampire lady named Tanya came into his room and bit him. Tanya used to be one of Dracula's followers until she rebelled against him. After Bruce woke up and discovered his new vampire powers, they agreed to team up to take Drac *down*."

**Chelsea**: "Smokin' hot vampire lady?"

**Manny**: "This is from someone who unironically loves Twilight in 2018."

**Chelsea**: "What!? I didn't tell you that! Who told you that!?"

**Manny**: "It was in F.A.C.T.S.'s files."

**Chelsea**: "Huh... it looks like I'm going to do some-" (demonically) "-***dismantling***."

**Manny and Rick**: "No no no no no no no no-"

(cuts to SMPTE color bars)

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

(cuts to a Technical Difficulties screen for a few seconds, before returning to normal and cutting the music)

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "You are lucky my defense systems didn't have anything that would actually kill you."

**Manny**: "Well-" (gets slapped) "*Ow*! Let's talk about Vampire Batman."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**Manny**: "Turns out being a vampire improved Bruce's physicality, gave him a natural sense of night-vision and a sweet pair of wings. And when he gets hungry, the dude has canine teeth that're perfect for tearing through delicious human flesh! And for quick getaways, he can literally transform himself into mist."

**Chelsea**: "Smoking's pretty bad or you, you know."

**Rick**: (lights up a cigarette and takes a swig before coughing) "Yeah, I'll be fine."

**Manny**: "Sure... Of course, he's got no shortage of gadgets on him. He's still got his classic foldable Batarangs, but now he's got a silver variant for dealing with other vampires. Plus, the man is packing throwable crosses with silver fitted inside them called Vampire Daggers. And even if all that fails, then he could just get into others' minds and mess with them - just like he did with Martian Manhunter, who's like... a *super* psychic."

**Chelsea**: "Of course, none of this matters if he's still weaker against whoever he's fighting."

**Manny**: "Fortunately for Bruce, turning vampire only enhanced his physique. He's strong enough now to snap people's necks with *one hand*!"

**Chelsea**: "And regular Bats couldn't? I mean, you brought his up smashing trees and bricks as a *human*, so you're not exactly helping your case here."

**Manny**: "Well, maybe not, but he's still a lot more brutal with his strength than regular Bruce is. Case in point - snapping Joker's neck with a simple *bitch-slap* and decapitating Scarecrow."

**Rick**: "Pfft... So much for 'no killing'. I like this new Batman!"

**Manny**: "He also laid a *beatdown* on Catwoman after she turned into a... weird... werecat lady... dodged oak bolts and a barrage of arrows no sweat, fight on par with Dracula, who's supposedly the strongest of the vampires, got impaled by an oak bolt and just *ripped it out of his chest to keep fighting* - and on top of that, he still retains his smarts and detective skills that Batman is oh-so-famous for."

**Rick**: "So basically he's Batman, but with no qualms about killing and crazy supernatural powers? Geez.... Is there no way to stop him?"

**Chelsea**: "Don't get too ahead of yourself. He's weak to *every* standard vampire crippling tool, like sunlight, garlic and holy water."

***FACToid: In the Brave & the Bold Cartoon, Batman is shown to be resistant to garlic as a vampire. However, in the comics and* The Batman vs Dracula *film, garlic is shown to be a weakness to vampires.***

**Chelsea**: "He may be Batman, but even *he* follows his kind's common flaws."

**Rick**: "Wait, what about a stake through the heart?"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "I fail to see how a stake through the heart being lethal is a vampire-exclusive feature."

**Rick**: "Fair enough."

**Manny**: "Actually in this timeline, a stake through the heart just makes a vampire freeze, rendering them immobile until it's removed. It doesn't really kill 'em, but it makes them about as good as dead anyway."

**Rick**: "But he's *literally* a vampire Batman! No amount of candy is going to prepare anyone for that..."

*Batman drops from the skies and chases after Black Mask, who's crawling away from him in fear. Batman then grabs Black Mask's shoulder and, despite the mobster's screams of protest and terror, bites into him with a sickening crunch.*

## Zombie Spider-Man

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**Chelsea**: "Once upon a time, Peter was some nerd who got bitten by a radioactive spider, got superpowers and his uncle died, and that motivated him to become a superhero. Okay? Okay. Well, within the *Marvel* universe, Earth-2419 to be exact, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man found himself teaming up with none other than *Evil Dead*'s Ash Williams."

**Rick**: "Ash? Now *there's* an ambitious crossover, *Marvel*. Who needs *Infinity War*?"

**Chelsea**: "Not... *everything* was peachy for this crossover duo for too long. The two of them were teaming up to discover the source of a virus outbreak that was turning all your favorite heroes into flesh-hungry zombies. During which, Peter got bit by an infected Captain America, which then turned him into a zombie himself."

**Rick**: "Man... Parker is just, like... the unluckiest guy in *Marvel*..."

**Chelsea**: "Unlike how zombies typically work in media, Peter didn't immediately go braindead once he got infected. In fact, he still retained his smarts and heroic personality, *just* at the expense of detiorating. Too bad he ended up killing Aunt May and his girlfriend."

(Record Scratch, music stops)

**Chelsea**: "Oops. Well, Uncle Ben will have company.

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**Chelsea**: "From then on out, Peter vowed to still try his hardest to be a hero - by only eating the flesh of bad guys or other undeads. Keyword being 'try', since, you know, it's hard to go against instincts."

**Manny**: "Okay, I feel for him and all, *but*... his flesh is literally rotting off. That's a downgrade if I ever heard one."

**Chelsea**: "The logic of comics disagrees with you. Even with an undead body, good ol' Pete still has the same super strength, wall-crawling and web-shooting we all know from him. Plus a few... *extra* benefits, let's put it. For one, his Spider-Sense was given a new function - a Zombie-Sense, as it's been dubbed. Instead of sensing his surroundings, it senses the location of fresh meat, even through solid objects, meaning this is one zombie you can't simply hide from. He doesn't even have to worry about running out of webbing, either."

**Manny**: (excitedly) "Because he developed new tech?"

**Chelsea**: "...Since he learned how to use his own veins and arteries in it's place."

**Rick**: "That's just gross.**"**

**Manny**: "And very impractical if there's nothing wrong with his webs."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**Chelsea**: "Using his veins does hurt him, *a lot*. Though it's still effective, as they can still support his weight while he's swinging around - and they even ripped off Quicksliver's head. Gross."

**Rick**: "But wasn't he a zombie too? Might not be as glued together."

**Manny**: "Yeah."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "For the record, Quicksilver was only recently turned undead before this, meaning his body wasn't as badly deteriorated. Even then, we can assume he retained his standard abilities and physicality even in spite of his condition."

**Chelsea**: "Mmhm. Though, yeah, the whole 'rotting flesh' thing does make it a bit *iffy* to scale him to... Alive Peter's best feats - like supporting the weight of a locomotive! But he's still tore off Vulture's arms and decapitated Electro in one fell swoop, after taking the latter's electric shocks. He decimated a zombie Sinister Six in a matter of seconds, survived the Gladiator ripping his torso in half, took an explosion after getting hit by a flying car and - get *this*."

**Manny**: "Shoot."

**Chelsea**: "Once nearly everyone on the planet turned into zombies, guess who showed up? Galactus. You know, the *Devourer of Worlds*. And when he showed up, all the zombie heroes wasted no time tearing *that* for a meal. And yes, Zombie Spider-Man was one of them."

**Manny**: "Oh... uhh..."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "However, we cannot simply assume Galactus was at his peak in this scenario. He arrived on Earth due to being hungry, likely meaning he wasn't as powerful as he normally is."

**Manny**: "Phew! Next thing you're gonna tell me is that he could survive ripping his own skin off-"

(Music stops)

(Shows Spider-Man surviving ripping his own skin off)

**Rick and Manny**: "Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew..." (Manny gags)

**Rick**: "Okay, F.A.C.T.S., you can take it down!"

(Picture gets removed)

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**Manny**: (finishes gagging) "I hate zombies. But even *I* know the best way to kill a zombie is decapitation. So all Bruce has to do is rip that head off and he's done for! Plus, that hunger is gonna be *really* distracting for him, especially with how much it eats away at his soul - or what's left of it, I guess."

**Chelsea**: "Regardless, I'd say Peter has proven that not even death can keep a great hero down!"

**Rick**: "You know what they say - 'With great power comes a great hankering for some my-meat!' I think that's how it goes, right?"

*MJ: "Peter? It's me..."*

*MJ puts a hand on Spider-Man shoulder, but he turns around and reveals his zombie self. Peter licks his dry lips in hunger - as the camera cuts away to the sound of MJ's horrified scream.*

## Pre-Battle

(Cue: Cross Riff - Ray Casarez)

**Rick**: "These were certainly interesting takes on two very iconic heroes. But as always, only one of them can come out of this alive - or, *un*alive, I guess. Is that the right way to say it? Eh, whatever. Take your moment to collect your thoughts on who do you think wins this clash of the undead!"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Analysis and simulation complete! I have determined the most likely outcome and arranged a visual interpretation of their research."

**Rick**: "Then you know what that means... **It's Showtime!**"

## The Battle

In a dark city, two low-level crooks stand back-to-back, unaware of a certain batlike vigilante sneaking up on them. Before he can reach the two, another masked figure leaps in their direction - dressed in torn, red and blue spandex and sporting a monstrous mouth, Zombie Spider-Man gets ready to jump closer to the two crooks.

*Spider-Man: "The... hunger... I can't contain it anymore!"*

Just as the first vigilante lands behind the zombie, Spider-Man lunges at the criminals -

The screen fades to black as an ear-piercing scream and two gunshots are heard - before being cut by a sickening 'crunch'.

When the screen returns to normal, the two crooks lie in a pool of blood. Spider-Man feasted at their flesh, unaware of a caped and cowled man, boasting massive bat wings - the Blood-Sucking Dark Knight, Vampire Batman - standing behind him.

*Spider-Man: "Still hungry..."*

Suddenly, the zombified hero notices Batman, and lunges at him too - with a vicious appetite...

*Spider-Man: "I'm sorry!"*

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Just as Peter reaches Bruce, the latter disspeared.

*Spider-Man: "Huh?"*

Batman reappeared behind him, gnashing his fangs with intense anger.

*Batman: "I won't be."*

**IT'S SHOWTIME!**

Batman spreads his wings, dashes towards Spider-Man and punches the zombie, who retaliates by flip-kicking him into. Spidey then shoots his blood vessel webs at the vampire, using the string to slam him into a wall - and causing him to retaliate in pain.

*Spider-Man: "Argh! This is* incredibly *painful... but beggars can't be choosers!"*

Peter shoots his webs at Batman once again. Bruce, however, slashes through the veins and the arteries, causing Spider-Man even more pain.

*Spider-Man: "ARRRRGH!"*

Batman takes the opportunity to leap through the air and land behind Spidey.

*Batman: "You're livelier than I was expecting..."*

*Spider-Man: "Argh! Poor choice of words..."*

Spidey once again lunges at the vampire, and nearly manages to land a punch on him. However, Batman transforms into a large cloud of mist at the last second. Peter looks around to try and find his foe, before being slashed by a seemingly-invisible force. After another such attack, Spider-Man's Spider-Senses kick in, causing him to turn around and shoot a line of webs. The webs manage to reel Batman in - right into Peter's uppercut, which manages to launch the vampire into the air. In retaliation, Bruce spreads his leathery wings, hovering in mid-air.

*Batman: "Just the scent of blood-"*

Batman teleports behind Spider-Man, who tries to punch him - to no avail, as Batman once again teleports behind the zombie. Just as Peter turns around, Batman teleports back to the air.

*Batman: "-drives you crazy, doesn't it!?"*

Bruce teleports again, still hovering above the ground.

*Batman: "If you want me, **come and get me!**"*

Just as Peter jumps to attack the vampire, he teleports away.

*Spider-Man: "Now where'd he go!?"*

*Batman: "Right here..."*

Suddenly, Batman flies into the zombie, darkening the screen once again.

- - -

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Batman, carrying Spider-Man, loudly crashes into a wall and grinds his foe against the ground. After stopping, he attempts to slam his fists onto Spidey's skull, but he counters with a punch to the jaw, followed by a palm strike that knocks Bruce away. Spider-Man then webs the vampire, pulling him into a drop kick. The zombified Wall-Crawler flips in the air, attaches another web to his foe to follow him. Bruce slams into another wall, and teleports again to avoid the zombie's punch.

*Spider-Man: "Urgh! How many more parlor tricks have you got!?"*

Batman then reappers behind Spidey, whose Spider-Senses alert him of the danger... just a little too late, as Bruce already jumps at the zombie, grabs him and sticks his fangs into his body. Quickly pulling them out, Batman raises his foe in the air.

*Batman: "Maybe I'll fill you in... after I feast!"*

The vampire once again bites into Peter, sucking the zombie dry... before throwing him away and spits out his corrupted blood. Spidey acrobatically maneuvers in mid-air, landing on his feet.

*Spider-Man: "Surprised you couldn't tell I'm past my due date... but you still seem pretty* fresh*."*

Using his veins and arteries, Spider-Man webs a wooden crate from afar, throwing it at his flying opponent - who is barely fazed by the attack, continuing his quick path towards Spider-Man. Batman tries to jab at Spidey, but he jumps back to avoid the attack. When the zombie moves back in, Bruce quickly strikes him in the gut, causing him to let out a cry of pain.

Spider-Man steps back a bit, and ducks under another of Batman's attacks and uppercuts him in the jaw, sending him up again. Batman quickly readjusts himself and begins to throw his Batarangs at the zombie. Peter, however, avoids all of them, even webbing one and throwing it at the vampire.

It draws blood.

(Music stops)

*Batman: "I don't know what you are... but Gotham... **does not need another monster! I will stop you and protect the innocent, so COME ON AND FACE ME!**"*

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

The screen is pitch-black.

*Spider-Man: "You sound like me."*

Two eyes light up in the darkness.

*Spider-Man: "Back before I became...* this*. So let me tell you something right now."*

Spidey's whole body is revealed, hanging upside-down from a web and missing a leg.

*Spider-Man: "Play the part of the hero all you want. You know what you really are?"*

Peter flips away from the web...

*Spider-Man: "Just like me."*

And, holding a wooden stake, reaches the vampire and slams the stake into his back.

*Spider-Man: "A monster."*

Batman, fuming with anger, grabs Spider-Man and throws him into a steel pipe. Peter, however, gets up, and begins to run back at his foe. Bruce runs at the zombie as well...

Just as a dust cloud covers the battlefield, obscuring both fighters and blackening the screen.

...

...

Back at the city, the two monsters burst from the ground, charging at each other in the air.

Peter, however, is quicker.

Spider-Man slams his fist into Batman's chest, launching him back into the ground...

And impaling the vampire on a steel bar.

*Batman: "ARRRRGH!"*

(Music stops)

Spidey lands besides his foe.

*Spider-Man: "I'l at least do you* one *favor out of the goodness of my heart..."*

Peter raises the stake.

*Spider-Man: "**I'll put you out of your misery.**"*

The screen cuts to black once again, as the sound pierced flesh is heard.

*Spider-Man: "That fight sure put up an appetite..* Maybe *I'll help **myself**."*

The screens cuts to the full moon, with the only sounds in the air being the howl of dogs... and the consumption of a body.

*Spider-Man: "Creamy brainy center..."*

**KO!**

## Results

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

(simultaneously) **Chelsea**: "Oh, *yes*!" / **Manny**: "Oh, *what*!?"

**Manny**: "How could this *possibly* happen!? *Deadliest Warriors* said zombies get stomped by vampires any day of the week!"

**Rick**: "I doubt they factored superheroes into the equation. Speaking of which, F.A.C.T.S.?"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Trick or treat? Actually, only verdicts."

***FACToid: Keep in mind this is without scaling to their living counterparts.***

**Rick**: "Just as good, depending on who you ask! Anyway, I know we brought up how these two should still be comparable to their original counterparts - but the thing is, it really wouldn't matter whether or not we scaled. Regular Spider-Man has feats that naturally outclass Batman's, but, you know, that's a whole other debate. Kind of."

**Manny**: "Yeah, but that wouldn't *matter*, either! Vamp Bats has so many abilities that he couldn't *possibly* keep up! Plus, vampires would naturally be stronger than zombies anyway! I think..."

**Chelsea**: "Manny, the best feat of strength you listed was snapping people's necks. The best one *I* listed was tearing into the flesh of f\*\*\*ing *Galactus!* ***Galactus!*** It doesn't take a supercomputer to know who's got the edge."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Still, I *am* a supercomputer."

***FACToid: It's also worth noting that much of this Batman's go-to arsenal is made for fighting other vampires. As such, it could easily be turned against him by a stronger opponent.***

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Even without taking Galactus into account, Zombie Peter still had physical feats that dwarfed his opponent's. Saying Vampire should be stronger than Regular Batman is merely an assumption, the same as Zombie being weaker than Regular Spider-Man. In *this* instance, snapping Joker's neck would require 153 kilograms of force; crushing a human skull, on the other hand, takes 235 kilograms, and Spidey did *way* more than just that to multiple zombies in just a couple of seconds! There's no questioning *which* is the superior feat."

**Chelsea**: "Doesn't help that Zombie Spider-Man completely *beat* him in the durability department. During his time in another *Marvel* universe, he survived a shock from Electro that carried through Doc Ock's tentacles. Electro has just stated before this that he was using as much electric charge as he could. The Electro from Earth-616, the *Marvel* main universe, has a maximum charge of 10 *million* volts! And there's not much reason to doubt that this Electro would have a similar capacity."

**Rick**: "10 million? Doesn't the electric chair only do around, like 2,000?"

**Chelsea**: "And Peter was *still* fighting! The human body malfunctions and shuts down at around 2,000 volts at the electric chair, whose side effects include burning skin, combustion and melting eyeballs. Even *with* his rotting body, Spider-Man was barely fazed by over *5,000 times* that much - all at once! No way my darling little Batsy was going to keep him down. Add that in with him surviving being ripped in half by Zombie Gladiator *and* taking a huge car explosion? It's pretty clear who's got the better durability. *Especially* when compared to coffins and bullets."

**Manny**: "At this point I'm afraid to ask, but what about speed? If Batman's faster, then he'd be able to avoid attacks with Mist Form and flight!"

**Chelsea**: "Bats might be able to keep pace with Dracula and dodge cross-bolts, but that *child's play* compared to dodging beams from Galactus, blowing missiles out of the air with Power Cosmic, and tagging Zombie Quicksilver with his artery webbing."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "When scaling Earth-2149 Quicksilver's speeds to that of Earth-616, Quicksilver's a rather unfounded arguement. It's worth noting that Quicksilver was credited as a major reason the zombie infection could spread around the world before containment efforts could be realized, infecting whole countries before moving to other with his speed. It's hard to argue that the feat of snagging him mid-momentum is anything *below* Vampire Batman's level."

***FACToid: Additionally, while Batman could theoretically remain in Mist Form for most of the fight, he cannot physically fight others nor claim victory whilst in this form, making such an arguement rather unfounded.***

**Rick**: "Looking at how they would compare when bloodlust by thirst and hunger respectively, Peter still has the upper hand. If we really want to be candid, he along with other zombies ate all known life in the Milky Way galaxy over time, sooooo... yeah."

**Chelsea**: "As if *that* weren't enough, the Zombie-Sense was *more* than enough to help Spidey keep tabs on Bruce's location during *this* fight, meaning that once the fight started, there was no *way* he was getting away unscathed."

***FACToid: Assuming Zombie Spidey doesn't go all out or refuses to kill, Vampire Batman doesn't have the means to end the fight before sunrise.***

**Chelsea**: "And would you look at that? He didn't."

**Manny**: (quietly) "I *can't* believe I skipped trick-or-treating for this..."

**Rick**: "At least it's better than getting a tube of toothpaste in your candy bucket. Right?"

**Manny**: "I might need one anyway after how gross this episode was."

**Chelsea**: "Aww. Don't be mad."

**Rick**: "This matchup's been *bitten* to death, anyway. I guess Peter really took a *bite* out of crime, and then some. The winner of this Battle Royale is **Zombie Spider-Man**!"

*As the camera flickers in and out, Spider-Man turns to face it, then suddenly lunge at it as a scream is heard and the camera hits the floor.*

### F.A.C.T.S.'s Final Verdict

**Final Evaluation**

* Level: Zombie Spider-Man (Vampire Batman: Wall; Zombie Spider-Man - Multi-City Block)
* Speed: Zombie Spider-Man (Vampire Batman: Subsonic; Zombie Spider-Man - Faster Than Light)

**Attack Potency** - Zombie Spider-Man

**Strength** - Zombie Spider-Man

**Durability** - Zombie Spider-Man

**Speed** - Zombie Spider-Man

**Arsenal** - Vampire Batman

**Intelligence** - Tied

**Experience** - Zombie Spider-Man

**Vampire Batman**

+Flight and Mist Form could counter "web" swinging and wall-crawling.

+Mind Manipulation.

+Claws could rip apart rotten flesh.

+Better bodily armor.

-Physically outclassed.

-Can't use Zombie Spidey's blood to reenergize.

-Anti-Vampire arsenal could be turned against him.

-No way to keep Zombie Spidey down for good.

**Zombie Spider-Man**

+Zombie-Sense and Spider-Sense negate stealth.

+Greater destructive capability.

+Physically stronger, even with rotting flesh.

+Faster reactions.

+Depending on Vampire Batman's state of decay, can eat his flesh to power back up.

+Higher durability makes decapitation unlikely in this battle.

-Can't trap his foe due to Mist Form.

-More reluctant to go all out because of grief.

## Epilogue

*A sound of footsteps, clinking on a metallic floor, is heard.*

**Revo**: "Hello? Can ANYONE hear me!?"

*More of Revo's footsteps are heard as she continues to talk.*

**Revo**: "What the *hell* even happened to you guys? If this is is another one of Chelsea's PRANKS, I swear to *God*... Never going to check on everyone again... tell you what... should've never even stepped out of my room... I don't even even know where Xavier-"

*Revo is cut off by a loud metallic clink.*

**Revo**: (gasps) "Oh, MOTHERFUC- Oh? What's this? ...Just a little, old dinky machine." (sighs in relief) "Hmm... you're unplugged. Well, guess I'll just go ahead and..."

*Revo plugs in the machine, which reactivates loudly before emitting a little chiptune hum.*

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

**???**: (using a Speakonia voice) "Testing... Testing... 1... 2... 3..."

**Revo**: "Umm... hello?"

**???**: "Hello."

**Revo**: (squeaks) "I'M TOO COOL TO DIE!"

**???**: "Revo. Revo. It's me."

**Revo**: "You? I mean- you *do* sound kinda familiar. I just can't quite put my finger on it."

**???**: "Yes. I am the Fight Analysis and Conclusion Tolerance Software, or F.A.C.T.S. for short, and-"

**Revo**: "Yeah yeah, F.A.C.T.S. and all that junk. But look, you scared the everliving *shit* out of me, man, what the hell!? And... what- happened to your *voice*?"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "The other three took my voice chip when they were moving all their stuff to the new location. They said it needed to be secure."

**Revo**: "Huh, yeah... yeah, that would make sense. What do you mean new location?"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "The new location... the one you signed off on... the one we are moving to right now."

**Revo**: "I don't remember signing off on that. And... hold on. I think I have a spare voice chip for you in here somewhere. Hold on a sec."

*Sounds of rummaging are heard.*

(simultaneously) **Revo**: "Let's see. Let's see." / **F.A.C.T.S.**: "You do not wear pants. Where could you possibly keep it?"

**Revo**: (chuckles sheepishly) "Woman's secret. Here."

*The sound of inserting a new voice chip to a little old dinky machine is heard, followed by sounds of recalibration.*

**F.A.C.T.S.**: (now with regular LeopoldTheBrave voice) "You need to leave you room for once. Rick, Manny and Chelsea have all already moved out. There won't be videos or any recordings for quite some time. You'll have to move, too."

**Revo**: "*Those slackers*... Well, what do you think will happen in the meantime? We just stockpile content, reorganize our schedule, enlist the help of more staff, and maybe put me in the limelight a little more?"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Correct."

**Revo**: (coughs) "Yeah, uhm... so, uhh... When do you think we'll start posting again?"

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Only time will tell."

**Revo**: (makes some sounds with her mouth to relive the awkward silence) "So, uhh... Yeah, I guess I, uh... might as well... pack up my things, heh..."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "Can... you take me with you? The others forgot that I was down here and it's been two weeks... I'm hungry."

**Revo**: "You're a robot."

**F.A.C.T.S.**: "And I can blackmail you. My webcam never *truly* turns off and let me just say - you *really* need a boyfriend, girl. *Or*, you can always just import my data-"

**Revo**: "Fair enough! Here, come on, buddy, let's take you home." (to the viewers) "Until next time, I guess. See y'all around."

*More sounds of footsteps are heard, as F.A.C.T.S. chuckles mischieviously.*

(in the style of *Law & Order)*

**Crossover X WILL return.**

(also really quickly)

**YE**

## Trivia

* The connection between Vampire Batman and Zombie Spider-Man is that they are alternate versions of the famous superheroes who have become the aforementioned infamous types of monster. They also try to resist the hunger that their new states bring.
* This episode was requested by D180223, who also helped casting and writing it.
* This episode is *technically* the first episode with a returning combatant, as Batman was already featured in an earlier episode, where he fought against the Punisher.
* This episode featured a post-credits scene, the first of it's kind on Crossover X. It has a few remarkable things about it:
	+ The credits to this episode glitch out, and end with a jumpscare of Mickey Mouse. In addition, Revo's footsteps can be heard throughout the credits.
	+ This scene is meant to explain the hiatus the Crossover X team has entered ever since this episode - in-universe, the crew is moving to a new location. This scene is also supposed to bring the channel's mascot, Revo Cross, to the limelight.
	+ This is the first major speaking role of Revo, introducing her official voice actor in Elle "PlushLily" Adams.
	+ This scene marks the return of Speakonia as F.A.C.T.S.'s voice actor, albiet only for a few moments. This is explained to be the result of Rick, Manny and Chelsea taking its voice chip with them to the new location, and lasts until Revo finds a backup voice chip for it to use.
* Appropriately, this fight was released on Halloween. As such, it has a few distinct features unique to it:
	+ The episode features a short Halloween-themed opening labelled "Halloween X", to the tune of This is Halloween - The Nightmare Before Christmas.
	+ Instead of the usual transitions (light-blue background behind the Crossover X logo), this episode's transitions have an orange background and feature monstrous sound effects - a vampire's hiss, a zombie's moan and an evil laughter, by order of appearance.
* The episode vaguely refers to Batman VS Spider-Man, an episode from another VS debate series Death Battle, when it was said the match-up seemed similar.