HOOTS: Hammertime

**HOOTS: Hammertime** is a short story focusing on the Hoots armor.

## Part 1

*As the great prophecy has foretold, the Astral Hammer shall crush the traitor!*

"MAKAI KNIGHTS OF PLANET EARTH, HEAR MR RAGING CRY!!! FOR MIGHTY DUNDEE, THE HORRORS WILL DIE!!!" The green and gold warrior's war cry rang loud in the starry night. Clad in bestial armor, his helmet shaped like a fearsome beast crowned with a single great horn, the warrior laughed as his opponents surrounded him. He swung a great gold and silver hammer, sending demonic beings flying in sprays of vile black blood. Behind him stood a collection of other warriors and wizards.

Directly behind the armored knight there was the Hootsman, a rather buff, Viking-like guy wearing leather armor covered in a wolf pelt. An oversized battle axe was at home in his hands, and was being put to deadly effect. Next to him fought Proletius, a bald Makai Priest whirling a sword through the screaming Horrors. Finally there was the most powerful Makai Priest of the group, a man named Ralathor. Horrors launched themselves at him and fell back before his magical assault.

"FOR THE KING!" The knight bellowed and brought his hammer down upon a horror, flattening it to the ground.

"Quite questy, Hoots!" The Hootsman laughed and cleaved a Horror's head from it's shoulders. "The Hammer of Glory is our guide tonight!"

"And you are right, my friend!" Proletius agreed, falling to his knees and sending his sword through the stomachs of two Horrors. They sprawled on the ground beside him.

"WE ARE QUESTY AND MIGHTY INDEED!" Hoots said, his voice echoing through the night. "BUT WE ARE NOT YET DONE WITH OUR FIGHT! ZARGOTHRAX AND HIS CRYSTAL KEY ARE NOT YET WITHIN OUR REACH! ONWARDS!!!"

The four charged forwards through the army of Horrors, slaughtering and butchering the wretched creatures where they stood. Hoots let off an awesome metal scream and rammed his ~~unicorn~~ horn through a Horror's head. Black blood rolled down his head and shoulders and he ran.

But lo! A great and twisted Makai Knight stood in their way. He resembled Hoots but was covered in shining white crystals. From within the armor came a sickly green glow. His fists were closed around a massive warhammer made of the same crystals as his armor. The knight's head slowly rose to face the warriors.

"I am Dao. Surrender, or I kill all with power of grimdark."

The Hootsman, Proletius and Ralathor began laughing crazily. Hoots simply twitched his head in annoyance. "AN EVIL MAKAI KNIGHT? STAND ASIDE, OR FACE MY MIGHT!!! THE ASTRAL HAMMER SHALL WIN THIS FIGHT!!!"

"I not stand aside. I stand your way." The evil/deranged knight said. "Now you die!"

"STAND BACK!!! THIS ONE IS MINE!!!" Hoots ordered.

The Hootsman grinned. "Go get 'em!"

Dao hurled himself at Hoots, whirling his hammer like a pathetic helicopter. "SHINION HAMMEEEEER!"

Hoots sighed and brought his blazing weapon up. "YOU THINK THAT IS THE MATCH OF THE ASTRAL HAMMER, THE HAMMER OF GLORY!!! MINISCULE DAO, IMPRACTICAL SHININESS!!!" With that he dealt a powerful blow to Dao, chipping crystal. Dao's attack fell short and he sprawled on his face.

"YOU HAVE NO HONOR!!!" Hoots shouted as Dao recovered.

"HONOR IS FOR HERETIC! IT STENCH SURROUND YOU!"

"HONOR HAS NO SCENT, YOU FOOL!" Another wicked blow matched Hoots' voice and Dao's armor cracked under the blow. The two traded viscous attacks, although all of Dao's seemed to simply bounce off of Hoots' armor while his continued to crack.

"This not possible! I am Dao! Daorium my strength!" Dao cried.

"SHUSH! LEGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND OF THE ASTRAL HAMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!" That was the last thing Dao heard, for Hoots' glorious hammer slammed down upon his skull. The crystal armor dropped facedown in the dirt. Hoots placed a green and gold boot on his fallen foe's back. "HAIL TO CRAIL!!!"