Whaley Ghosts

The **Whaley Ghosts** are a family haunting the Whaley House, introduced in Professor Proxy's Wild Ride.

## History

Proxy took the party to inspect the Whaley household, supposedly haunted by the family members. He gave the party some equipment, namely an EMF reader for Sock, a spirit phone for Evan, some smudge sticks for Gerard, some salt for Nacho, and a crucifix for Kander Jr.. They knocked on the door, being met by Corinne, who asked about the ghosts. The Nerd lied to her, saying they were here for her alcohol. She told them she did not have any, but after Sock asked about cream cheese, she let them in so he could have some. Corinne somehow didn’t notice Sock was a dinosaur due to her bad eyesight, so the Nerd gave her his glasses, double-layering them, somehow making her vision worse. After the Nerd found out that Corinne didn't know what video games were, he yelled in frustration at her, questioning how she didn't know about the SNES, while standing in the middle of the year 1952. Gerard tried to calm him. The party first went into the kitchen looking for ghosts, instead taking this time to raid the fridge and the pantry. Sock raided the cream cheese supply, while Nerd took the gallon of milk inside and immediately chugged all of it. Sock stole the meat from the fridge before Nacho and Kander conspired to set the old lady ablaze. Nerd looked away in disgust, and Gerard tried to steal Nacho’s wand. This failed, and Corinne was immolated, burning to a crisp. Sock ate her remains, before the Nerd returned to the pantry to eat all of her Twinkies.

The party headed upstairs to look in the bedrooms, and without hesitation, the Nerd spotted the master bedroom’s lavish bed, and conspired to defecate on it. Before he did this, the spirit phone rung, and Evan answered. He received a call from the ghost of Thomas Whaley, the father of the house, telling him not to. Evan heard the man on the line, thought he was cringe, and encouraged the Nerd to do it anyway. The Nerd squeezed it out, and Gerard looked at him in disgust. Thomas Whaley manifested himself before being scared away by Kander Jr.’s crucifix. Sock attempted to poop in the bathtub, causing Anna Whaley, the mother of the house, to manifest after the spirit phone rung a second time. Immediately, the Nerd asked if he can milk her, before Sock attempted to bite Anna, despite being intangible. After a short bit of convincing, Anna gave them the Ecto-Cooler recipe, consisting of several fruit-based ingredients and ectoplasm, being ghost tears. Without hesitation, every party member except for Gerard slung rapid insults at Anna trying to get her to cry, but this did not faze her. Sock soon went into another room to pee on the bed of Thomas Jr., the baby of the house, causing him to manifest and cry after Kander Jr. peed on his wall. Seeing her baby upset made Anna cry as well, with the Nerd eagerly harvesting both of their ectoplasms.

The party soon headed to the garage, which was built atop the hanging place of a criminal by the name of Yankee Jim. After a brief while of talking, Sock outed Yankee Jim for supposedly having smegma, before Evan harassed him about this fact. The sheer amount of gaslighting about Yankee Jim’s smegma made him cry plenty of ectoplasm for the Nerd to collect. After this, Thomas locked all of the doors and windows, having returned to the house angrier than ever. He threw things around the house, trying to kill them, before the spirit phone rang again, not letting up. Sock picked up the phone this time, only hearing thousands of screams from an unknown location. Nacho lit the curtains on fire, soon engulfing a majority of the house. He now directed his attacks at Nacho, before Gerard got in front of him and shields him with some of his magic. Thomas hated fire due to being burned plenty in his past, and gets angrier. Gerard attempted to taunt Thomas, saying he also had smegma, before Sock joined in, telling Thomas to prove that he doesn’t have smegma. The Nerd vomited up the milk and Twinkies from before at Thomas, causing him to cry, before the ceiling started to collapse. Gerard slashed at the door to allow the party to escape, after which Proxy made the Ecto-Cooler for everyone in the bus.

## Members

### Corinne Lillian Whaley

The last surviving daughter of the family, until Nacho burned her to a crisp.

### Thomas Whaley

The father of the house, and the first ghost encountered.

### Anna Whaley

The mother of the house, protecting her baby and his belongings.

### Thomas Whaley Jr.

The baby of the house, harvested for his many tears.

### James "Yankee Jim" Robinson

A convict hung and buried on what is now the Whaley property who primarily resides in their garage. He has smegma.

## Trivia

* The Whaley Ghosts and Yankee Jim are all based on the real people they are named after.