The Pilot

The "**Pilot**" is the premiere episode of *Hoops*.

## Plot

Coach Hopkins leaves his dignity and good sense at the door in hopes of convincing the high school's tallest student to join the basketball team.

### Summary

After getting into an extended, foul-mouthed argument over shots called at a game, Coach Ben Hopkins is ejected. Afterwards, he apologizes to his team, saying that his problem is that he loves the game and them too much. However, rather responding to this heartfelt declaration, the team members pressure him to give them a "Bang Bus password" he promised them if they won, despite the fact that they lost. Even though Hopkins claims he's not going to let them run each other over anymore, he gives in. They then demand that he do something for Scott, who is gay, so he ends up giving Scott his credit card.

Hopkins meets with Principal Opal who tells him that the school board is coming down hard on her because of him. He tells him that he can't be *both* an asshole and a losing coach. She warns him that he has to win, as the school board is coming to a game on Saturday and that it's over for him if he doesn't win. She tells her that there's only one way for their school to win, and he won't play. She tells him that it's his problem.

Coach Hopkins visits the kid in question, Matty, who tells him that he answer is "no" for the millionth time. Hopkins tells him that he has the gift of being tall, but Matty replies that being tall isn't a gift. Matty is adamant and Hopkins tells him that if he loses, he's fired. Hopkins tries to appeal to him, but Matty is unresponsive, as the appeal is vulgar and more focused on himself than it is on Matty. Hopkins tries to appeal to him by offering a free iPad, albeit a cracked one. When Matty still doesn't respond, Hopkins tells him that he can get him laid. He asks if he'll play in the game if he can penetrate a woman before Saturday and not giving him a chance to respond, he leaves.

He then meets with his friend Ron, telling him he needs his help with getting Matty laid so that he can be on the team. Ron chastises Ron for texting Shannon, Ben's ex-wife and Ron's current girlfriend. Ron tells him he's sure he'll move on from his girlfriend eventually. Back in class, Hopkins learns that his task is going to be difficult, that most girls wouldn't date Matty even if he paid them. However, telling Ron to cover his class, Hopkins goes and finds a hooker, Connie, who tells him that she'll do it for $500, though he tries to argue about this cost being twice as much as a blow job. He tells her that her numbers don't add up, but she says that her numbers are not up for negotiation. When he tells her he has only $85, she tells him that only gets a "knee job." He offers to throw in the iPad, but she stands pat on the price. He tells her that night she's having sex with a teenager.

The members of the Lenwood Colts talk among themselves, noting that if they ended up with a real coach, they would all be off the team. They almost all agree that they wouldn't even be on the team without Hopkins and they have to do something. Meanwhile, Hopkins tells his dad, Barry, that he needs $415 or he's done. He asks him to help a coach out, but his father replies that he doesn't see one. He tells him that if he gave him money whenever he needed it, he'd be as poor as him. He tells him that he'll pay for his graduate school to help out at the restaurant, but Hopkins can't stand the idea. Hopkins says that he will go to Shannon and beg her. Barry tells him to leave her alone, but he goes anyway.

He tells her that she's still his wife until he signs the divorce papers and she tells him that she doesn't care what he's cool with. He then begs her for the money, saying that being a basketball coach is all he ever dreamed of. He then talks about his favorite film, *Little Man Tate*, aggravating her. She tells him that they're not getting back together and his favorite film sucks. The team then comes to him, giving him what little money and items they scrounged up, determined to help him. Between them all, surprisingly, it seems to be enough, though on a drive later, he mutters to himself that it's not where he wanted to be in his career. He grumbles that he wants to turn heads and is sick of being anonymous.

He brings the hooker to Matty, who again tells him he doesn't want to play, but he replies that he's kept his end of the bargain. Matty tells him he has to stop, as Connie is taken in by cops behind them. Hopkins shouts for her not to tell them anything, but it is already too late and Hopkins is arrested. He kisses the ground after finally being released, Shannon having bailed him out. He tells him that he can't believe he spent the team's money on buying a prostitute. She tells him that he's a pervert. He tells her he's pouring his heart and she focuses on the wrong stuff. She replies that he has nothing and shoves him away when he tries to make a move.

Hopkins goes to buy himself a new suit, figuring he's going to have to humble himself before his father. He then visits the gym, determined to say a last goodbye to his team. Upon arrival, Opal asks where he's been and he replies that he figured he was fired. She tells him that she tried everything she could, and that it would be best if he put his resignation letter on her desk tomorrow if he didn't get Matty, but he did get Matty. Hopkins finds Matty, asking why he's there. Matty tells him that what he did was the nicest thing anyone ever did for him. It showed that he wanted him and nobody ever had before. He starts to tell him a story, but Hopkins replies that it's boring, and that he's there and that's what matters. He says they're there for him and they play ball. He then goes on an extended bragging session about having won the tip, causing the referee, Greg, to eject him. He tells him that normally it would make him angry, but he's about to get his wife back and his father can stuff the restaurant. The team, however, loses the game and Matty tells Hopkins he's sorry he let him down. Hopkins replies that they only lost by 16 points, which is way better than they've ever done before and the school board saw some real progress. Matty agrees that he didn't hate it as much as he thought. He tells him it feels like a family and he needs it, starting to tell a story about his family, but Hopkins tells him again that it's boring. They walk together and Hopkins says that it's the start of a beautiful friendship. He talks about *Little Man Tate*, but admits he never actually saw the whole movie.

## Cast and characters

Starring:

* Jake Johnson as Coach Ben Hopkins
* Ron Funches as Ron
* Cleo King as Principal Opal Lowry
* Natasha Leggero as Shannon
* A.D. Miles as Matty
* Rob Riggle as Barry Hopkins

Also Starring:

* Steve Berg as DJ
* Eric Edelstein
* Ben Hoffman as Timebomb
* Mary Holland
* Gil Ozeri as Isaac
* Sam Richardson as Marcus
* Nick Swardson as Scott

## Gallery

Coach Ben HopkinsCoach Ben Hopkins and RonBarry and BenBen and OpalMatty and BenDJ, Ref Jeremy, and BenCoach Ben HopkinsTeam and Coach Ben HopkinsTeam
## Navigation

* 1.01 **The Pilot**
* 1.02 My Two Dads
* 1.03 Ethics
* 1.04 The Sponsor
* 1.05 Matty Gets a Girlfriend
* 1.06 Zen
* 1.07 The Strike
* 1.08 Death
* 1.09 The Road Game
* 1.10 The Scout

## External links

* The Pilot on the Internet Movie Database