Afraid To Catch Feels

**Afraid To Catch Feels** is the thirtieth chapter of *It's Not Over Yet* and the five hundred and fifteenth chapter of the series overall. It is told entirely in third person.

Nationals, a wedding, and an award show. All in the same weekend. What could possibly go wrong?

## Plot

Shana and Amity are in Los Angeles. They plan on seeing New Directions at Nationals. Amity tells Shana about what happened between her and Damian after the Met Gala and says that she wants to lose her virginity to him. Shana is shocked and advises against it due to Amity's pact to wait until marriage, her pregnancy, and the fact that Damian is in a PR relationship with Tracy. Amity says she is not going to lose out on him out of fear like she did with Alex, Tabitha, and Christopher because she refused to play.

Dean rehearses Cold Hard Bitch at Adonis, while Ryder watches and Ben sits reading a book. Xavier arrives and Dean stops playing, asking what he's doing there. Xavier says he's having a party, as his album has just come out, and Dean calls him out for moving up his release date two weeks to sabotage Riley on the release of her EP. Xavier tells him that is label politics that don't involve him and puts the blame on Blackbird, which Dean thinks is just him doing what he did when he threw Alex under the bus. He threatens that it'll go bad when he and Alex run into each other but Xavier says he's not afraid of him since he found out Alex wasn't a killer. As Xavier signs albums for the party, Dean tells Ryder that he's cutting his rehearsal short because it suddenly stinks in there. As he leaves, Xavier tells Ryder to check Ben's diaper.

Shana returns to her hotel room with Santana, who asks if she and Amity had a good time. Shana says that they did, and that they talked about relationship stuff but not *theirs*. She assures Santana that she's over their fight after the Met Gala. Quinn arrives with Nate to drop off Val after taking her out with Sam, who has gone to his room to sleep off a headache. Val doesn't acknowledge Santana's greeting and runs straight to Shana as Quinn invites them to go out after Nationals. The women are unsure but Quinn says they will take the kids with them so Shana accepts. After they leave, Shana says she doesn't want to go out too late for Val and Santana tells her she should've told Quinn no then and that they probably won't be out too late. Shana dismisses the argument before it can become a fight and goes to take a shower. With Shana gone, Val finally jumps into the arms of her second mother.

Julie and Alex arrive at Cory's house and Julie says she wishes they could've gone to Nationals. Alex says they can't be in two places at once and that she can't travel on her injured ankle, but Julie denies there being an injury at all. They have the three kids in the backseat, cramped because Alex insisted on taking his car instead of Julie's. When they take the kids down, Denise comes out and invites them in. Alex and the girls go inside but Julie accompanies Denise to take out her trash bag and tells her it's nice that she and Cory are having a joint party and that she didn't get to have a bachelorette at all. Denise tells her there's still time but Julie can't see them celebrating anything anytime soon.

Once inside, Julie is greeted by Harmony, who is proudly displaying her pregnancy now. She asks if she and John are ok and Julie thanks her for her concern. Veronica is holding Rosie and the twins are taking pictures with distant family, though Julie wishes they wouldn't do that. Veronica compliment's Rosie's beauty, her blue eyes in particular, and Julie asks where her dad is. When told that he is outside, she decides to join the men in hopes that it will be good company.

Marley and John are together and plan to watch the Nationals competition, until Marley brings up the accident. John is evasive, wanting to leave it behind, but Marley wants to reiterate her fear that night and use it convince him to stop drinking. He gets defensive over this and blames the crash on an animal on the road. Marley thinks it may indicate that moving in was a bad idea and he says it was *her* idea, making her angrier. She tells him that she wouldn't have moved in if Bianca wasn't still living in her apartment, though he thought she had already left it. He calls her irresponsible and she says the difference between them is that when she's irresponsible it helps other people but when he is it destroys everything around him.

Amity and Shana watch as New Directions perform Hurts So Good and Oops. During the latter, Santana goes to the restroom and runs into Rachel, who says she is hiding away because she's afraid to see Finn and Olivia, as they may reject her. Rachel admits her cheating to Santana, saying she has ruined everything. Now that her show in New York is over she wants to go home but she's scared. Santana tells her she can go to her show with her and that she doesn't have to face home until she's ready.

As New Directions performs Symphony, Santana and Rachel return. Rachel sees Finn and begins to imagine her friends on stage, singing happily to their loved ones and rubbing their healthy relationships in her face. Terrified, she runs away again.

Harmony informs her family that New Directions has won Nationals and they will be advancing to the World Championship in Italy. Denise hints that she would love to visit Italy though Cory reminds her their honeymoon will be in Hawaii which is just as great. Alex distances himself from the conversation so Julie joins him and asks if he's having a good time. He says that he is and her family is great but he would like to head to their hotel soon. Julie tells him they've been invited to stay the night there at Cory's house but Alex says it may be too crowded and that Rosie could cry all night and disturb the bride on the eve of her wedding. Julie agrees and says they should start saying goodbye to everyone.

The next day, Santana has Blaine, Kurt, Rachel, Finn, Quinn, and Sam join her at her concert. After, they go out for drinks while Shana stays back with the nannies and the kids, which includes Valentina, Nate, Camilla and Olivia. They toast to the Nationals win, to Shana, and to their love for each other, while teasing Quinn and Sam about their new relationship. Rachel seems uncomfortable by all of it but joins in regardless.

Cory and Denise have left on their honeymoon following the wedding, though their families remain at the reception. Harmony says that she is jealous they are going to Hawaii and Dan suggests that they all take a family vacation soon. He notices that John has left after making a brief appearance and Harmony notes the same about Kitty. Julie tells them that Kitty had to leave early because she's flying out to Texas and that she thinks John's departure had something to do with his girlfriend not joining him. Harmony wonders if they should be concerned but Alex tells them it's not really their business, leaving Rosie with Julie and walking off. Julie apologizes and says he's been cranky because he's so tired but Harmony tells her it's okay and Dan offers to go talk to Alex.

Dan confronts Alex, who is at the parking lot and appears to be leaving. Alex tells him he wasn't leaving, he just wanted a break from the party. Dan is surprised, saying Alex usually loves a good party and that he had expected him and John to be the life of the wedding but neither of them touched a drink. Alex says he isn't exactly thrilled at the idea of John drinking near his family ever again and Dan is confused because it was Julie who crashed. Alex says he can't help but place a little bit of the blame on John still, as he was the one with the idea for them to flee the city like they did. He also says that he's worried about Julie and that he has been trying to find a way to put both their minds at ease but right now he feels helpless. Dan says he's sure there's a lot he can do to make them feel better about everything that's happened and then an idea comes to Alex.

Julie is concerned that Alex and Dan haven't returned. Harmony is concerned about her, offering her friendship and help. Though Julie is initially suspicious of her intentions, Harmony assures her they're pure and Julie asks if she knows how to make a broody husband less broody. Harmony says they need to take time off and reconnect but Julie rejects the idea, saying there's too much to be done and pop stars don't get a break. Harmony tells her that if that's the case, she needs to reevaluate her priorities.

The next day, Alex and Julie return to Lima and Alex takes off, back to the Allen Correctional Facility. He meets with Heath, who reveals that Ian Keller is being held there and the other prisoners have been beating on him to teach him a lesson. Alex wants to pay for that to continue but Heath tells him that it won't be possible because Ian is getting transferred to a higher security prison, which should be a good thing, but Alex doesn't want to lose access to his enemy. What he wants is revenge, which he can't get if Ian leaves, so he tells Heath to deliver a message to Franco and not to share his visit with anyone else. Heath agrees and they shake on it, with Alex noticing a tattoo on Heath's wrist that he recalls every member of the gang having, except him.

When Alex returns home, Julie is watching the Billboard Music Awards, wondering if she's pathetic for doing so. Alex says that she isn't and joins her, visibly exhausted, so she wonders where he was. He doesn't tell her but tries to cuddle with her, which turns out to make things more tense between them. She confronts the tension, demanding that she tell him what's on his mind, but he doesn't want to share about his visit to the prison, so instead he turns back to the night of the gala. He says he feels burned by her ditching him and thinks she was running from him. She resents being blamed for everything and he points out that the crash *was* her fault. When she reminds him that it was an accident, he questions that, accusing her of being a junkie for suffering who would do anything to avoid her problems, even hurting herself. He says that she loves being the victim and positions herself in a way that she can always be in pain because she loves it. She is offended but avoids a fight, simply telling him again that the crash was not on purpose and leaving. Alex feels guilty but he had to throw her off the trail of knowing he was at the prison.

Mercedes performs her comeback single I Like It at the BBMAs, as Quinn and Sam watch backstage. Kayli passes by so Sam goes out to meet her and tell her that Quinn has agreed to let them make their duet a single. Kayli laughs, telling him he is out of the loop and that she will be releasing a song that night, performing it at the awards with Blackbird artists. Sam is at a loss but Kayli tells him they can release their song the following week, though she will be solely focused on promoting this one, but everybody will still win. He disagrees.

Amity sees Damian backstage, preparing to perform, and wishes him good luck. He tries to kiss her but she backs away, reminding him that publicly he has a girlfriend who isn't her. He agrees and tells her that he will gladly break that off with Tracy if it means getting to be with her. Amity is pleased to hear it but says that she needs to first clear it with Tracy, sure that Tracy will understand. Damian smiles and kisses her cheek before going back to perform.

Jake performs his new song, Feels, with Kayli and Damian. He is not ready to be out on the road and in the spotlight again but he is doing it anyway. Kayli is thrilled to have all the attention and ready for the world to see the music video they created. Amity and Sam watch backstage, with very different emotions about all of this. As Alex watches from Lima, Julie reaches out to Sebastian for a favor and Marley packs up.

## Trivia

* The title is take from the lyrics in one of the songs, Feels.