S07E15: The Gang Remembers Their Manners

## Previously on MCVFD

We finally checked in with Momma P.  Things were tense but we avoided the hard conversation about her past and its implications.  Qwalish showed us some fighter jets that we can’t use yet :(  We need a limbo pearl– a grain of rationality in a realm of chaos.  We made some tracts that seed “he can be beaten” into the public consciousness. Sneaky.

Off to the next monitoring station in the Elven forest realm Fenemar.  The crew of the outpost was arrested for illegal poaching, and decided to take indentured servitude over amputation.

## Session

What’s the elven high queen’s name? Maryjane Cannabinella.

After so long in chaos, we approach ….. a forest? Just a normal forest.  A startlingly normal forest.  The observation station is staffed? There are people walking around inside. Last time we heard, the station was nonresponsive after we got the message on the message-chair thingies.

Kanye steps forward.  He quickly ponders whether he needs his Dress Epaulets.  Nissa steps forward and inquires as to how the station is manned? Dakon sent people to get the thing back in business.  Apparently they sent a negotiating team a few nights ago…. And they haven’t come back.  Nissa asks if there is a waffle bar? Obviously, a standard issue cantina. The group enjoys their waffles, but Kanye remembers he’s not supposed to eat anything, right? Nissa gives him a gold star!  And tells him no eating things in the *forest*.

The guy from the front gate rushes up mid-meal. The lead negotiator is back! A Girth comes in the door in a business casual monastic guard outfit.

> **Kanye**: I told you we should have worn the epaulets.
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He goes to make a report at the pedestal.  He reports that the queen is not negotiating in good faith.  He sees the gang and hangs up.  What’s his name? Chicka Chicka Slim Shady.  (turns out Chicka Chicka is a very prestigious Ambassadorial Gith title.)

He fills us in.  Have we dealt with Fey elves? It’s maddening.  They never say what they mean! Everything is layers of intrigue and mystery.  The queen ignores him and then pays attention to him but doesn’t agree to help.  She blows off meetings.  Gith are not good at this kind of ….. thing.  He has a seat at the table tonight, would we like to come? Nissa asks about eating the food.  He says it’s a myth– the Fey can trap you in contracts, but they can’t entrap you.

Kanye begins to grill him. What do we know about the nature of the offense?  How much have you learned?  Shady hasn’t learned much.  It’s still unclear why they would have done such a thing.  They’re working there, he’s seen them. It’s unclear where they were even arrested.  No sign of a struggle in the station.  They didn’t take their things. Also no evidence of animal bodies– bones, body parts, etc., i.e. no unicorns were processed on the waffle table.

> **Shady**: No proper Githzerai would desecrate a waffle table.
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Kanye asks why anyone would poach an animal from the forest anyway? Because the hunting is good, obviously.  But it’s a real bad idea.

He hasn’t spoken to them, they’re not really supposed to talk to anyone.  They look well taken care of, except for having lost their freedom.

Um: why are you monitoring the forest? Shady: we monitor many things in Limbo.  We want to be aware if they do anything that would interfere with our duty to protect the plane from harm, much like we monitor for a Modron march.

Kanye further grills Shady on the queen.  Queen MJ is….. Royalty? She doesn’t understand anything outside the court.  She’s flighty and distractible like all fey.  She loves being flattered, and she’s easily bored.

> **Kanye**: You can go.
> **Shady**: …. You’re coming with me?
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As we walk, the forest goes from wild forest to manicured gardens.  We arrive at the gardens and walk through them to the anteroom.  Shady asks whether we are familiar with courtly etiquette,  and Kanye points at his scroll of pedigree.

The room seems to be a tacky person’s version of a fancy room– big oil paintings, crystal sconces, gold gilding.  The people are in court frippery, ruffles, lace, cleavage, stiff collars.  Kanye peeks out the doors – there are attendants, definitely not guards, definitely not, in the hallway.

Kanye announces himself to a guard.  He says his name is unimportant.  Kanye needs to get some air.  The… attendant… tells him to go out the front door.  Kanye gives him a MCVFD coaster.

> **Kanye**: MCVFD…. Tell your friends.
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Outside smoking is an extremely fancy man– wearing the most fancy suit Kanye has ever seen (and he’s seen some suits).  Not the frippery from inside, a tailored suit with clean lines.  He’s smoking a cigarette with a long cigarette holder, and a full face mask that is carved to look like the sleeping face of a dragon. It's metal, but seems to fit his face exactly.

Kanye pulls out the deck of cards he found from the abandoned guard station at a monitoring station.  He flourishes the cards, shuffling and doing tricks.

Dude: “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure….?”  Kanye’s insight: this guy is a shark, a smooth operator.  He introduces himself as Biggaboat Durdun.  Kanye digs for some gossip about the Gith servants.  Biggaboat thinks the penalty seems normal.  They discuss hunting rules in the forest and ?flirt? a bit?

> **Biggaboat**: “It was nice to meet you, Mr. Cantalibray [sic].”
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Kanye gives him a coaster.  And then tries to slip a playing card into his pocket. Kanye fails but there’s more ?flirting? and then he heads back inside.

> **Kanye**: I just met a weird dude in a mask and uh, I think we’re dating?
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Nissa has taken off her badger armor to suit the courtly occasion and puts on a silky green dress that doesn’t hide much.  Kanye, wanting to be fancy, puts on his janitor costume and his epaulets and his power armor helmet.  With the visor down, until he has a compelling reason to raise it.  Also, the power armor has a silly straw that he can extrude if he wants to take a drink.  Kanye puts on the boots of striding and springing from the band fund.  Um puts on a clean version of the thing he was wearing.  But not the hood, because that would be weird.  Kanye.
Kanye offers to put on his dress harness, but Nissa decides to stay on the ground.

> **Nissa**: Ugh, yeah, I’m going to use my stupid feet, I am going to have to save this situation with my curtsy.
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As we walk down the hallway, Kanye keeps an eye out for guards he met before– he high-fives the shit out of him.

> **DM**: Solid contact, smooth dismount.
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As we walk in, Shady is announced. We hang back for a sec as he enters.  Then we are announced.  Nissa Atlock of the Mulmaster Volunteer Fire Department!.... and companions. Nissa strides in, using her best courtly walk.  Kanye follows her closely, tripping over her train a bit and finally finding a nice pace behind her.  Nissa has been long from society, and Kanye opted out as much as possible, so they do not notice what Um sees: the room is full of fancy people, but some of the servants are Gith among the crowd.  They aren’t trying to get his attention, they’re just doing their jobs.  Also, he notices that the dinner attendees’ clothes are getting nicer as we get closer to the queen – some of these people got their outfits from Limbo Nordstrom’s and some got them from Limbo Versace, you know?

As we approach, we see Biggaboat with that perfect metal mask – it seems to be made of silver, but perfectly crafted to look like a sleeping dragon’s face.    There are doors that go to the kitchens, but another set of double doors by the queen’s table that no one is going in or out of.

The gang begins plotting about whether Um could make contact with the Gith and get their side of the story by going through the servants’ door and trying to catch them out of view.

> **Kanye**: Can you circulate as a servant and put these playing cards in people’s pockets?
> **Um**: You want me to …. put-pocket?
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We keep an open farty-talky line as Um makes his way through the door.  Um has never had an easier time slipping through a door.  There are Gith servants coming and going all the time behind this door.  He flags one down and asks why he’s here.  What did he poach?  The servant looks nervous and asks him to meet him outside at the smoke break area.  When he emerges, he insists that they were framed, they know better than that.  It sounds dumb in hindsight, but a member of the court  was coming by and made friends.  Eventually he invited them to come hunting with him.  They were stalking a huge white stag, but when they shot it, suddenly they were surrounded by rangers, and the guy was gone.  They didn’t want to lose their hands, so here they are.  Any evidence that they were framed?  The Gith can’t even guess why they would have been framed - a big plot, a lark, the queen wanted some drama?  He can’t even guess why. The guy had a weird name – something with a B? Biggaboat? He had the nicest clothes he’s ever seen, and a really weird mask.  He’s at the party, right?  Um says we’re familiar with him.

Um asks for a uniform so he can pretend to be a servant.  He puts on the smallest uniform he can find and circulates  Kanye directs Um towards certain people on which he’d like playing cards planted.  There's some kind of card trick in the works. In the end, Kanye wants the card that he failed to plant on Biggaboat, planted in the same front pocket Kanye tried to use.  Um thinks back to his pickpocket days, and every technique he knows uses jostling that is inappropriate for a servant at court.  When he tries, Biggaboat catches the card in his hand and hands it back.

Kanye uses Command-Zed.  He makes the signal he and Nissa worked out before that means “real quick, buff that person, you probably know who I mean!” so Nissa shrugs and uses Enhance Ability on Um.  Um successfully put-pockets the card into Biggaboat’s suit pocket and walks away feeling like a badass thinking he pulled it off on his first try.

The crowd hushes as the Queen herself is announced, then cheers loudly.  We make our way to the table and realize we’re not just at the queen’s table, we’re right next to the queen.  She sits at the head of the table, and Slim Shady sits at the queen’s right side. He gestures for Nissa to sit beside him.  Kanye sits next to Nissa, and Um looks around awkwardly and makes off with his canapes.  Biggaboat sits directly next to the queen, on her left hand side.  Nissa wonders whether in this realm, they pass the dutchie to the left hand side? We hold a seat for Averlyth, who is probably still waiting for the footmen to park her chariot.