IV. Gru’s Tale

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You are Gru, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see an army of orcs marching towards your door.

What do you do?

> "Minions, cum inside of the orcs !"

The orcs are not going to wait for you to get ready. They will be here soon enough.

You call forth all of your minions and tell them to go kill as many orcs as they can!

> "Minions, take off all of your clothes !"

As the orcs approach, you turn around and begin stripping off your clothing. The orcs don't even bat an eye; they just march right into the room. You quickly strip down to nothing but your underwear before calling upon more of your minions to join you on this depraved act.

> "Minions, CUM !"

Your minions immediately begin thrusting their cocks into each other. It's like some sort of perverse game between you and them, but it doesn't matter because they're doing it for you.

> "Cum I said ! Cum !"

It takes awhile, but eventually you hear the sounds of orc cocks exploding inside another orc. You then feel something hit your face. A large piece of wood hits you in the head causing you to fall backwards onto the floor.

> "Ow"

You try to stand back up, but you realize that you need to find somewhere else to hide. Your minions are still pounding away at the orcs outside.

> "I must help them !"

You run over to the door and attempt to open it. Unfortunately, the orcs are faster than you expected and manage to grab hold of you before you can reach the handle.

> Gru kills the orcs

You throw your hands up in surrender and let the orcs pull you through the door. As soon as you step through, you are attacked from behind by orcs wielding axes. You attempt to fight them off with your fists, but unfortunately, they are much stronger than anything you've ever encountered before.

> Gru envokes the phallic constants, killing all in sight

You slam your fist against the side of an orc's skull and send him flying through the air. He lands hard on his back with blood pouring out of his nose.

He grabs you by the scruff of your neck and begins choking you until he has completely drained you dry.

> "It's time to get milked !"

You start laughing maniacally as you begin pumping your fist full of hot dog sized jizz. You continue to do so for quite some time before finally collapsing on the ground.

Afterwards, you lie there panting and trying to catch your breath.

> "Oh no, the minions !"

You look up and see several orcs standing above you. They are holding torches which they aim at your exposed genitals.

They fire their torch beam directly into your groin area, burning holes in your flesh and leaving you bleeding profusely.

> milk the orcs

You quickly crawl over to the nearest group of orcs who are milking cows nearby. You jump down on top of one of the cows and begin suckingle it while continuing to suckle on the cow.

> "this milk is great"

You continue doing this for about half an hour before you notice that the orcs are getting bored.

One of the orcs says "We should make a movie of you."

Another adds "And we could sell it to people who want to be heroes!"

> "Oh shut up"

You continue sucking on the cow for another few minutes before you hear the sound of a hammer being hammered repeatedly against a wooden board. The other two orcs stop their work and stare at you in disbelief.

> "Fuck you !"

You turn around and swing your headbutt at the two orcs who were watching you. Your blow causes them both to fall backwards onto the ground, whereupon you proceed to beat them senseless with your bare hands.

The rest of the day passes without incident.

> "Minions, assemble"

You quickly gather up the remaining orcs and tell them to go to the nearest village. When you arrive, you inform the villagers that Gru has been killed and that they can take whatever valuables they wish.

When you return home, your mother is furious.

> Gru is revived

You suddenly feel very sick and faint. You collapse on the floor and vomit up blood.

Your mother runs to your room crying hysterically. She tells you that she needs to call someone immediately!

> she calls Gru

You wake up from your coma feeling very tired. You sit up slowly and see Gru standing in front of you. He looks like he just came back from a long trek through the wilderness.

> "How are you alive ?"

He smiles and replies "I'm alive because I had a really good dream last night."

You nod in agreement and hug him tightly. He returns the embrace and then kisses you on the lips. This causes you to lose consciousness again.

> Gru drains me of my fluids

You awaken once more in Gru's bed. He looks much different than when you saw him yesterday. His skin is pale white and his hair is now black as well.

He grabs your hand and begins stroking it affectionately. You smile at him but don't respond to his advances.

>

He continues to do so until one day he reaches out and touches your face.

"Mmmm...good boy..." he whispers seductively into your ear.

He pulls away abruptly and you gasp in pain. Gru walks over to you and places his hand on your forehead.

> Gru whispers "Milk me softly"

He begins to suckle on your neck tenderly. You begin to cry silently as he sucks on your throat.

Gru's eyes are filled with tears and he wipes them off his cheeks. He turns you around and sits down next to you.

> "Gru, let me milk you please !"

He nods and begins to fondle your chest. You moan loudly in pleasure as he does this.

Suddenly he stops sucking on your neck and instead moves his mouth closer to yours. He begins licking and nibbling on your earlobe, which causes you to jump in surprise.

> Gru cums

His tongue enters your mouth and he begins to lap at your own juices. You scream out in ecstasy as you climax all over his face.

As Gru finishes, he stands up and rubs himself vigorously before walking out of the room. The door slams shut behind him leaving you alone.

>

The next morning you awake to find yourself naked and lying on the bed. A large wooden cross hangs above you. You look at it and realize that it was hung there yesterday by Gru who died yesterday.

>

You quickly get dressed and head downstairs where Gru is waiting for you. He has changed quite a bit since yesterday. His skin is paler and his hair is longer. He also wears a new set of clothes.

>

He smiles at you and says,

'Good morning my love.'

You both walk outside and look at each other. He asks if you want to go see the sunrise together. You agree and he leads you back inside where the sun is shining brightly.

> "Gru, where are the minions ?"

He sighs and replies,

'I'm afraid I can't tell you yet. They're still under construction.'

You nod and ask what kind of people they will be. He tells you that they'll be human slaves.

> "Why ?"

He frowns and replies,

'Because I don't know yet. But they won't be like those you've seen before. They'll be much more intelligent than humans in general.'

You shake your head and say,

'But how will we train them?

> Gru says "We will milk them"

He smiles and says,

'Yes, milking them. That should do it.'

You smile and nod your head. He walks ahead of you towards the gate while you follow closely behind. Suddenly he stops suddenly and looks back at you.

> "Can you milk me though ? That's the bigger question."

He smiles and says,

'Of course. We'll milk each other when we reach our destination.'

You blush slightly and say,

'Well... okay then. Let's start with you first then.

> "No, let's start with Adam Mandler first"

He nods and smiles and says,

'Okay. Go ahead.'

You turn around slowly and begin to strip off your clothing. He watches as you take off your shirt revealing your muscular chest. He stares at it for awhile before saying,

'Very nice...

> Adam Mandler enters the room

He smiles and says,

'Adam Mandler?'

You nod and say,

'Yeah. It's been so long since I've seen him. He used to work here when I worked here.

> "What does he do ? "

He shrugs and says,

'Nothing really. He just sits there all day doing nothing.'

You laugh nervously and say,

'Ohhh... Well I guess we better find out soon. We need to milk him or something.

> "does he even breathe ?"

He laughs again and says,

'Not anymore. Nowadays he spends his time on the internet. I think he's an atheist.'

You nod and say,

'That makes sense. Okay, let's get started.

> "Gru... what did you do ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'Nothing. Nothing at all. Just went through the motions.'

You look down and try to hide your embarrassment by putting your hands up in front of you as if to pretend you're not embarrassed.

> you have a boner

He chuckles and says,

'I see you've got a boner. Good. Because now is the time to milk it.'

You quickly stand up and walk over to him.

> "This is not good."

He frowns and says,

'It isn't? Then why did you go through the trouble of hiding it?'

You sigh heavily and say,

'Because... I'm scared.'

He smiles and says,

'A little more than that.

> "are you sure ?"

He frowns and says,

'Yes. Yes, I am. But I don't want to be alone with you right now. So I brought another man with me.'

You smile and say,

'Thank you.

> "Who's getting milked first ?"

He smiles and says,

'Well, you'll be the one. I'm going to put my hand inside your pants and suckle on you while you suck on mine.'

You blush deeply red and stammer, 'Um... okay.

> "But how would this even work ? That's not even possible !"

He smirks and says,

'Well, I can make you feel good about yourself. And then when I'm done with you, I'll take some of your sweet juices for myself. Ohh... I like that idea.

> "Gru ?"

He nods and says,

'Good girl. Good girl. You're so much prettier than you look. You know what they say: Beauty is only skin deep.'

You shake your head and say,

'No... No! It's wrong!

> "Gru, can I ask you something ?"

He shrugs and says,

'Sure. What's wrong with asking a question?'

You pause for a moment and then say,

"What are you?"

He looks surprised and asks,

'Are you gay or straight ?

> "Neither, I'm just a throbbing erection."

He laughs and says,

'Oh yes. A throbbing erection. Very funny. Now let's get started shall we?'

You nod slowly and say,

"Okay..."

> "Why must you milk me, Gru ?"

He grins and says,

'Hahaha! Well, because I love you. And I think you do too. So please continue to give me pleasure until I come.'

You stare at him in disbelief as he continues to speak.

> "What about the minions though ? Won't someone milk them properly ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'I'm sorry, but no. They're all yours. Enjoy them however you wish.'

You raise an eyebrow and say,

"So who are you exactly ?"

>

He sighs and says,

'I'm a very rich man. My name is Gru. I live in the city of Larion. My father was a great warrior and he taught me everything he knew about combat. He also taught me how to hunt and fish.

> "Did your father teach you how to milk ?"

He smiles and says,

'Yes. Yes he did. But I don't need to tell you more about him. Just enjoy the rest of your time here.'

You frown slightly as you say,

'But why me? Why me?

> "What's your dad's name ?"

He chuckles and says,

'My father's name is Doktor. His real name is Dr. Zork . He's a brilliant scientist. The best there ever will be.

> "Is he a colleague of Albert Einstein ?"

He nods and says,

'Well, sort of. Not really. Einstein is my advisor on many things, but he's not my mentor. I mean, he's smart enough to invent the Theory of Relativity , but he doesn't necessarily follow it religiously like I do.

> "Does Einstein have a Theory of Testicular Torque ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'No. No he does not. Sorry, but that would be a spoiler. Let's move on.'

You frown again as you say,

"How come I'm still alive after all these years ?"

> "Hold on a second, a spoiler of what exactly ?"

He shrugs and says,

'It's nothing important. It's just something I thought up while I was trying to make myself feel better about losing my money.'

You look around and see several other men with their eyes glazed over from the alcohol they've been drinking.

> "Gru, tell me more about Einstein !"

He laughs and says,

'Oh, don't worry so much about that. I'm sure he'll explain himself soon enough. Anyway, let's get back to the topic at hand.

> "NO, TELL ME ABOUT THE PHALLIC CONSTANTS RIGHT NOW !"

He raises his eyebrows and says,

'Ah yes, the phallic symbols. Well, first off, the symbol for pi is actually a circle. That's pretty obvious. Next we have the letter 'P'. This represents the Greek letter Phi.

> "Gru, tell me more about the Phallic Constants !"

He looks at you and smiles and says,

'The Phallic Constants are mathematical constants used by mathematicians to measure the size of certain objects. They're not very useful unless you want to know if a human being has five fingers or seven.

> > "Gru, tell me more about the Phallic Constants !"

He nods and says,

'Well, the Phallic Constants were discovered by an Italian mathematician named Giuseppe Peano. He didn't discover them. In fact, he never published anything that wasn't plagiarized from someone else.

>

But he did find some interesting things about them. For example, the phallus is one of the few natural objects that can be measured without using any tools.

'Next, the phallic symbol itself consists of three equal parts: two horizontal lines and a vertical line.

>

The third part is made up of a straight line and an arrow pointing down. These are called the phallic arrows.

'Finally, there's another symbol which consists of a triangle with its base on top and its sides touching each other.

> "Gru, how many constants are there ?"

He shrugs and says,

'There are ten. The ones you need to know about are 1 through 10. There's also a number called Pi."

You nod your head and say,

"I see...

> "Gru, tell me all about the constants. When were the constants discovered ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'They weren't discovered until 1869. The first one was discovered by a German mathematician named Johann Georg Friedrich Gauss. He found it when he tried to solve a problem involving circles and triangles.

> "Did he have any problems involving a phallus as well ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'No. He solved the problem but then forgot about it. It wasn't until 1875 that he remembered what he had done and wrote a paper about it.

> "Did he use one of the phallic constants ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'No. He didn't use any of the constants.'

You sigh deeply and say,

'That's too bad. I'd like to learn more about this stuff. So, do you have any other secrets?

> "Gru, do you know how Albert Einstein Formulated the equation for calculating Testicular Torque ?"

He frowns and says,

'No. Not really. Einstein was just trying to prove something to himself.'

You shake your head and say,

'Well, that's too bad! I'd like to learn more about this stuff.

> "Gru, stop lying to me ! Tell me how Einstein formulated the equation for calculating Testicular Torque !"

He looks at you strangely and says,

'It would take far too long to explain it. I'll give you the formula instead.'

You nod your head and say,

"Thank you so much."

> "What is the formula to find Testicular Torque ?"

He smiles and nods his head and says,

'The formula is: Torque = (Force x Distance) ÷ 2.

> "Gru, what do you mean by phallic arrows ?"

He shrugs and says,

'Phallic arrows are symbols used to represent the force exerted by a phallus. They're not very complicated. A circle exerts a certain amount of force on whatever it touches. A triangle has the same force applied to both its corners.

> "Can the phallic arrows be invoked ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'No. The symbol can only be seen in a mirror or if you're looking directly into it. If you look away from the symbol, it disappears.

> "Do the Phallic Constants make you more attracted to Men ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'Yes. The phallic symbols make men feel good about themselves. That's why they're so popular with boys who want to impress girls.'

You smile and say,

"I see...so what does the formula do?"

> "Are all men gay ?"

He smiles and nods his head and says,

'Yes. All men are gay.'

You sigh deeply and say,

'Oh no! I'm going to die!

> "Gru, where is your Milk Bag  ?'

He shrugs and says,

'It's somewhere out there. It doesn't exist here. I don't even think you could get to it without my help.'

You nod your head and say,

"Goodbye..."

> "Gru, what's in your bag ?'

He frowns and says,

'A lot of things. I keep everything in there except my milk bag. My milk bag is inside my house.'

You nod your head and say,

'That makes sense. Good luck out there, Gru!

> "Gru, what's inside your milk bag ?"

He shrugs and says,

'Nothing. Just some food and water. I've been keeping myself alive by eating mice, rats and birds. And drinking their blood.'

You smile at him and say,

"Well then you must like cats."

> Gru says "No, I'm actually much more of a COCK !"

He laughs and says,

'Yeah, well I guess you're right. Thanks for the compliment. Now let's go home."

You shake your head and say,

"I don't understand. Why would anyone want to stay in this place?

> "Gru, can you drain me of my fluids ?"

He looks at you strangely and says,

'What do you mean? What do YOU mean?'

You nod your head and say,

"I said can you drain me of my fluids?"

> "Drain me, now !"

He stares at you incredulously and says,

'Really? Are you serious?'

You grin and say,

"Of course I am. You're a man after all.

> "How wide is my mouth ?"

He shakes his head and says,

'I don't know. Maybe about two inches.'

You wink at him and say,

'And how big is my hole?'

He smirks at you and says,

.

> Milk me dry !

You laugh and say,

"Well, you're not getting any younger."

He chuckles and says,

'Hah! That was funny. But really...you'll never get me with your milk bag trick. You need something else.

> "I'll cum in your milk bag..."

He smiles and nods at you and says,

"Okay. Let's see if we can't make that happen."

You lean forward and insert your hand into your bag. The bag begins to vibrate as you begin to pump your fist full of milk.

> "Gru, what is the velocity of the penis ?"

He stares at you curiously and says,

'It depends on who does the pumping. If you did it, it'd be faster than mine.'

You nod your head and say,

"It's about .7 meters per second."

> "Okay, but what about the Testicular Torque ?"

He frowns at you and says,

'The Testicular Torque is the velocity of the testicles. It varies greatly between men. Mine are about half an inch long so they're about three centimeters each.

> "How many scrotums do you have ?"

He shrugs and says,

'I don't know. Probably around ten.'

You smile at him and say,

"That's pretty impressive. So, how many scrotums do you have?"

> "are you good at milking ?"

He shrugs again and says,

'Not really. I suckle at times when I'm horny, but other than that, no.'

You shake your head and say,

"No kidding. Well then...what about the Milk Bag Trick?"

>

He looks at you skeptically and says,

'What trick?'

You grin and say,

"Oh come on, Gru. What's the point of this if you aren't going to pull off?"

>

He shrugs and says,

'Well, I guess you could try to milk me while I'm asleep. That would certainly work.'

You nod your head and say, "Sounds like a plan. How soon can we start?"

> "Gru, start putting potted plants in to my urethra !"

He laughs and says,

'Yeah right. We should be doing that already."

You nod your head and say, "Alright. I'll try to put some plants in there now.

>

But, I want to be able to get back out without having to go through the pain of milking you."

He sighs and says,

'Fine. Just hurry up. I've got things to do.

>

Okay, let's see...there's a tree over there with thorns. Put some thistles in there. There, that should help."

You nod your head and say, "Sure thing.

>

Let's go.

> "Gru, I'm gonna start sliding a pencil inside of your urethra !"

He smiles and nods his head and says,

'Great! Let's go!'

You nod your head and say, "Okay. Let's go."

> Gru milks and stuffs me

You run after him, but he catches up to you. He grabs you by the collar and squeezes. His grip is strong enough to cause you pain, but not so much that it would stop you from moving.

> Gru proceeds to milk

He continues to squeeze until you're completely drained. Then he dumps your blood into the Milk Bag and puts the bag on top of his own. He turns around and leaves.

You lie there for several minutes, trying to catch your breath.

> I shoot myself in the head

You pull the trigger and your head explodes.

> Dead

You die.

- YOU DIED! GAME OVER!