Session Twenty Two

The twenty second session of the Adventures of the Dragon Crag was on the 13th of March 2022.

Robin was a dick.

## Party Members Present

* Brandr Sigurdson
* Snorri Morgrimson
* Relnwe Adiath
* Professor Meino Osterhaus (Late)
* Aleksi Lehtonen

## Synopsis

### In and Around the Market (Urbaz)

#### The Great Dwarf Elevator

After coming from the mines in which Snorri found a glorious sapphire, we found ourselves in a great market hall. The place was battered beyond belief and bore the tell-tale marks of an intense battle. In the past there had been many shops and stalls of different sizes, many of which had been reduced to rubble. Around the outside of the of the room was a low wall which separated a walkway from the main space. At the very centre of the market was a lift with pullies and chains heading far up into the cavernous ceiling. Snorri reckoned that the lift went upwards to the Halls of Trade on the first level of the Ruins. However, the lift also went downwards. On closer inspection, Snorri saw that 5 cables went downwards parallel to each other. Snorri could see how the lift was supposed to function, but nothing seemed to work. The lift controls seemed to be powered by the cables so whatever was powering the lift was clearly below. Rel dropped a stone down the shaft - it took ages to fall so there would be no climbing.

#### Aleksi Couldn't Get Pissed in a Brewery

Whilst the lift was being examined, Aleksi found himself in an ancient dwarfen brewery. He searched around for any undrunk 3000 year-old alcohol but much to his dismay, he only found a secret door. "But wait", he thought, "this might be useful!" Aleksi told the rest of the party of his find before he went through the door. The door led to small passage that dipped down and led to another door. This door was made of metal and looked fortified, but Aleksi managed to mightily heave it open, revealing a storeroom filled with rotten barrels. It (the storeroom, not Aleksi as one might have assumed) was covered in debris and the stench was foul. After searching around the storeroom for a while, we noticed that there were a set of stairs right in front of us leading upwards. The stairs led up to another storeroom with two other entrances. We took the left entrance and passed into a narrow corridor that headed northwards. The passage tunred east and there was a gap in the wall showing some living quarters. It seemed as though this network was part of a clan hold. We pushed through the living quarters and came into another communal area.

#### Three Bronze Dwarfs

The communal room that we found ourselves in was rather large. One side of the room was completely taken up by three huge bronze statues of dwarfs. All three dwarfs held a tankard aloft and had a barrel at their feet - they also all had open mouths. However, the fullness of the mugs and barrels differed for each statue. The first statue's mug had but a sip whilst the barrel was full. The second's mug was slightly more full, but his barrel was slightly more empty. Final statue's mug was full, but his barrel was empty. Behind all three statues was an enormous symbol depicting a large barrel. Snorri examined the dwarf's mouths and saw that they were hollow - for this contraption to work, something had to be poured down each of the dwarf's gullets (probably beer). In all his dwarfen wisdom, Brandr guessed that each statue represented one of the three dwarfen beer-related holidays in which different quantities of beer are drunk. The first was First Quaff; the second was Second Breech; the third was Keg End. We would have to pour the correct amount of beer down each dwarf's throat. Unfortunately for us, we had no beer. Rel wanted to try water, but the dwarfs knew that this was sacrilege and would not allow it - this ended in a brief spat that involved Rel eating Snorri's halfling sausage. Thankfully, no water sullied the magnificent bronze gullet but we still had a problem: where would we get beer in a 3000 year old ruin?

### A Bold Quest for Beer

#### Oh Beer Me!

We decided to head back to the secret room that was inhabited by the hooded dwarfs on the basis that any dwarfs making a wee nest underground would surely bring beer. We discovered that the Clan Hold that we were in neatly linked up with the room where we had encountered the ballista. When we reached it, we saw that the ballista had been moved - it had been picked up so that it did not leave any obvious trails. We climbed the stairs back to the secret room and found that much had been removed. We all searched around for any beer. Luckily, Snorri found a whole barrel. Unluckily, Snorri tripped over and broke the whole barrel. Much beer was lost, but Brandr managed to scoop up a single flask full. We took this beer back to the statues and poured but a wee quaff into the first statue's mouth. We heard a click. We poured half a mug's worth into the second statue's mouth. We heard a click. We poured the rest of the flask into the third statue's mouth. We did not hear a click. We were going to need more beer.

#### Give us your Beer!

We decided to pursue the hooded dwarfs with the ballista to see if they had any more beer. We followed a small trail from the ballista room until Aleksi heard a high pitched squeal. We rounded a corner and saw two hooded dwarfs with orange beards dispatching a Goblin dressed with a symbol of a yellow eye and a moon. We told them that we wanted some beer and one hooded dwarf ran of to get some while the other stayed with us. We noticed that his beard was forked. Eventually, several more hooded dwarfs turned up, all with forked beards. There was tension in the air as we had previously given these dwarfs what for, and the situation was only made tenser by Brandr's tirade and the Prof's marsh lights and weird hand gestures. The leader of the hooded dwarfs said that they hated foreigners coming down and taken loot that should belong to the dwarfen race. He said the King was a money grabbing coward. He said no one should be allowed in the Ruins. To Snorri, this sounded very much like the views of Molatok Nokinson, the Master of the Mining Guild. Snorri asked as much and the dwarfs looked shaken at the suggestion of the connection. Rather than just saying 'yes, we're in league with Molatok' and avoiding a fight, the lead hooded dwarf suddenly shot Brandr and they all ran off down a corridor. One dwarf had been pushed at our feet so Callisri knocked him out.

#### If you won't give us Beer, we'll kill you and take it!

The hooded dwarfs dived into a small entrance in the cave wall and began to close a door. Brandr, who was annoyed that he had been shot, barrelled through them, sending them scarpering. We followed them into a dark cave with a wooden bridge across a cavern. A great fight ensued: arrows flew; charges were made; limbs were severed; one poor fellow even had the wind knocked out of him. In the end, all but three dwarfs lay dead. One was conscious, another was knocked out, and the third had been left knocked out in the tunnel.

#### The Brotherhood of the Forked Beerd

As we tied up our captive dwarfs, Brandr discovered a poison pill in the tooth of the unconscious dwarf and snatched it out. Seeing this, the conscious dwarf bit down hard and began frothing at the mouth. Rel unceremoniously kicked him off the bridge and into the gully. It was decided that more would have to be done to get any information out of these fanatic(39)s. After much deliberation and moaning, it was decided that the Prof would wipe the remaining dwarf's memory and the elves would be tied up so that Brandr and Snorri could claim to have saved him. The Prof also took on the face of the unconscious dwarf in the hallway. We woke up the dwarf and told him our story and he fell for it hook, line, and sinker. He told us he was Angrim of Clan Rorganson. He said that he was a member of the Brotherhood of the Forked Beard and that they wanted to take back the hold for dwarfkind. He said the brotherhood was mostly made up of Rorgansons but that they were led by Molatok Nokinson. He was unwilling to tell us the names of the others as they were enemies of the king, but we finally got them out of him. The leader of this band had been Captain Dwinbar of Clan Rorganson. There was also Furgil and Garil, both of clan Rorganson. Then there was Kallon. He took us to the back of the cave where his band had had a small camp. There, he gave us a barrel of beer. We also asked if he could help us out and tell us a way down to the fourth level. He said that there were two common ways but that there had been a disaster - to get to one you had to head east through the caves and then south and you'll get to a lesser used set of stairs. However, this way had been blocked off. He told us that the more common way was to the West, parallel to the lift shaft in the market. However, there was a lot of activity around there - goblins were trapping people. He then asked if we wanted to join the Brotherhood and that we should talk to Kragdin if we did. Unfortunately for Angrim, we had all the information we need. Brandr slowly maneuvered behind him and gestured with his hammer at Snorri. Sadly, Snorri nodded his head and Brandr brought his hammer down, demolishing Angrim's head.

Finally, we had a barrel of beer.