Romance and Marriage in Artesia

## Romance

### Courtship

In Artesia, a courtship is a romantic cultural activity that is openly practiced and discussed. There is no shame or embarrassment when it comes to love and sex, though Artesians may tease each other in good nature about their escapades. In the beginning, courtships often take the form of picnics and rides with the desired partner, though usually with others to ensure that there is no inappropriate behavior, and partners will often exchange small gifts and poems. At this time, the relationship is seen as more casual and for fun rather than the pursuit of a long-term commitment. Flirting with others is common during all stages of a courtship, but an Artesian will almost never engage in sexual or romantic activity with another if they or the one they are flirting with are in a relationship regardless of what stage it is at, as this is considered a betrayal of trust. If an Artesian decides they want to explore other options or have had their fill of fun, they will break off the courtship quickly to avoid their partner making an emotional investment.

When one wishes to take their relationship a step further than casual lovers, they will often make a declaration of such during a festive event or some other romantic and social setting. How the partner answers determines how they go forward, but a rejection at this time is not considered an embarrassment so long as both parties are honorable and honest with their actions. If this next stage of the courtship is accepted, the pair are regarded as an official couple, and their relationship will continue until either engagement or the courtship is broken off, though once again, a broken off courtship is not seen as a serious grievance and is usually done in a straightforward manner with respect to both parties. Upon becoming an official couple, each party will take an item from the other, usually a piece of jewelry, a lock of hair, or an article of clothing, to hold as proof of their courtship and to signify their intentions. If the relationship is broken off, these items will be returned or disposed of by mutual agreement.

### Engagement

An Artesian engagement, unlike a courtship, is taken far more seriously. The engagement starts with the couple traveling somewhere they have never been before, a popular destination being the mountains in the north of Artesia. Once there, they will spend a full day together, enjoying the pleasures and sights that this new location holds for them. At the dusk of said day, one partner will pull out a pair of simple wristbands of matching color, but otherwise unadorned, and ask the other if they will marry them. If the answer is rejected, it is the end of all discussion, and one which will usually see the couple split up and on their own ways come dawn. If the proposal is accepted, the couple will don the wristbands. They will spend the next day at the same spot, but separate from each other, only reconvening under the sky at the same spot the engagement was given at dusk. They will at this time agree to be wed, or one side may break off the engagement if they are having second thoughts. This is considered the last socially acceptable time to break away from a partner, with any other reason save death for breaking off an engagement or marriage being seen as a grievous insult.

Once the engagement is agreed on, each party will ride together to both of their families, letting them know of the engagement. The formal way to do so is to announce their arrival, and when they are met, travel on a single horse around the dwelling, then return to the hosts to inform them of the engagement. This is the first official act that the engaged couple will perform. In the absence of family, a close friend, a caretaker, or a respected figure in the individual’s life would be an acceptable substitute. Marriages are to be held within a year of engagement unless war calls either of the engaged away for longer than that. If the marriage does not happen within that year, the engagement is dissolved. The offending party who could not show is seen as betraying the former and is forever barred from entering the lands of their partner, a custom that even surpasses that of the Fruit Road Laws. If either of the engaged realizes that the other is not a suitable partner within this year, they can still end the engagement without consequences to themselves. Depending on the circumstances, though, the rejected partner may be shunned by the rejecter’s community.

## Marriage

An Artesian wedding is a day long affair, starting at dawn and formally ending at midnight, though festivities will often continue well into the next day. It is a large affair, but only family of the engaged are invited along with those considered the closest to the family. Nobles tend to invite larger crowds, but any not intimately known to those being wedded are kept away from the more personal moments of the ceremony. Traditionally, the engaged will wear elaborately embroidered clothing, and their families are expected to wear colors matching the wedding's theme somewhere on their outfits.

By dawn of the wedding day, a priest or bard will signify when the families of the engaged may head off to the wedding site, and they will leave with the utmost haste. It is a competition to see who will arrive first, and both parties will attempt to delay the others in a playful manner by arranging roadblocks, locking up horses' stalls, or hiding others' riding boots or coats. The last family to fully arrive has to surrender the best horse in the party to the newly wedded couple, which becomes the horse they ride together on in a lap around the wedding site before the ceremony begins.

After both families arrive, the officiating bard or priest will give a speech that has been personalized for the couple, invoking She Who Cherishes as a ribbon is wrapped around the couple’s joint hands to represent the bond being created. The engaged exchange vows before the officiator, with the final vow being said as close to noon as possible. They then go before the wedding embroiderer to choose the colors that will be embroidered on their wristbands. These colors are chosen in private beforehand in order to ensure that the colors will be present at the wedding, and the act of choosing at the wedding is more for ceremony, although the couple is free to change their mind about the colors at this time. While the embroiderer works, the couple and wedding guests will partake in feasting, music, and storytelling until the wristbands are finished at dusk.

Following this, the newlyweds dance together or perform a scene or duet that leads to their first kiss as a married couple. They mount the horse given to them by the family that lost the race at dawn and circle the area as a display of their union. The couple makes a short speech before riding off together to formally end the wedding, at which point they can choose to retire for the evening or return to continue the festivities.