Stretch Goals and Spam Bots!

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Announcement For a Teaser For an Announcement of Teaser Trailer For a Trailer of Erik Dri

"*All I know is I get to make my dream project about a boy named Erik just drinking wine and getting a haircut. By the way, that boy is me.*"
―Erik
Stretch Goals and Spam Bots! is the first Kickstarter update for Erik Drinks Wine and Gets a Haircut. It was released on December 14, 2015.

## Summary

Erik announces that his Kickstarter for Erik Drinks Wine and Gets a Haircut is fully backed. He looks at some of his messages on KickStarter. He answers questions about getting a haircut on salvia. Then he sees that most of his messages are just spam bots with shady links. He decides never to look at the messages again.

Erik explains the stretch goals that the KickStarter can reach. If it's funded with $3200, the video becomes a period piece. If it reaches $6000, he'll do a live one man show based on Erik Drinks Wine and Gets a Haircut. And if it gets to $10,000, he'll put up a billboard of Ted Cruz chugging cocks in Texas for a day.

Then Erik explains the backer rewards. Anyone that pledges $20 gets credit as a co-writer. And anyone that pledges $10,000 gets the rights to the film in addition to the Ted Cruz billboard.

Erik looks back to the painting of Ronald McDonald fucking Donald Trump that he had ordered, and he sees that someone else ordered the same thing after him. Then he sends a tweet to Ted Cruz.

## Comments

*Will there be a stretch goal to have the main character get a haircut whilst on salvia?*
- Winter

*hey winter, banged ur mom out last night maybe she can text u my answer cuz she aint comin home tonight either cuzzzzzzz btw those were two different usages of cuz there*
- Erik

*Hello there, I am a university student focusing on social media marketing. I help people with social media marketing as a means to help pay my college tuition.**I can tweet your project to over One million twitter users for seven days for just $34, or write & distribute a press release regarding your project starting at just thirty dollars.**I have also got a low-cost social media promo specifically tailored toward crowdfunding. Its a Social Media Hurricane- You can actually Push your project to sixteen million super active users on Facebook, generating likes, shares and boosting your recognition- as low as one dollar a day.**If you would like to learn more, check this link: www.goo.gl/kQWqBm*
- Barbara Mc Neil

*What kind of shit are you trying to pull here, Barbara? And what the fuck is that link at the bottom of your message? Is that a link to steal my kickstarter password and take all my money from my dream project about a short film about a guy named erik who goes and drinks wine and gets a haircut? Because fuckin shame on you Barbara. Shame on you.**Hey by the way your third paragraph might as well have a counter underneath clicking up every time you copy and paste it into a new message. Social Media is a hurricane? Whoa watch out Buzzfeed here comes Barbara! What the hell is that supposed to mean? Get the fuck out of here Barbara and please pledge at the thirty dollar level on my kickstarter for a free t-shirt of a rocket ship that got printed weird.*
- Erik

*Hey our awesome fashion project is overfunded (finally yey!!) but it WAS NOTEASY and we only have 1 week left. You can watch our crowdfunding interview on how we did it here: http://goo.gl/HWijqv**I think it would help you a lot! You have 17 days left so you can definitely use the same techniques to get funded. If you get some value from our advice then plz visit the fashion final count down and support us! Thx! ;)*
- Susan Gene Davis

*HEY SUSANNE MY NAME'S SALVIA AND I HAVE A FASHION PROJECT TOO CHECK OUT MY ROCKET SHIP T-SHIRT IT'S MADE OF REAL ROCKET SHIP PARTS THAT I STOLE FROM THE WOODS OUTSIDE CHINA, THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS CAN'T GET ANYTHING INTO SPACE.*
- Erik

*@tedcruz I'm so gonna put up a billboard of you chugging cocks in Texas*
- @commentiquette

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