A Pageant Wagon

*"Every performance is, at heart, a lie."*

This is an Encounter in The Moon that can always be found on the first level. It has two potential conspirators:

* Herda the Aproned
* Old Patton

## Event

*Parked in the Dust Quarter is a travelling theatre that has seen better days. The mottled stage curtains hang tiredly. A pasty, ill-looking man named Old Patton appears to be the head of this enterprise. He waves you over.*

1) Go over.

*White powder has settled into the wrinkles of his face. His painted lips twist into a knowing grin. "I know who you are," he whispers.*
*"Look here, I won't tell," he taps his red, bulbous nose and winks, "if you stand in for my recently - and rather inconveniently - deceased actor." He points out a ragged baker costume.*
A) Be the baker.
*The play starts off with a hag knocking on a pantomime door. "Oh baker! I've come for your hand in marriage!"*
1) Greet the hag with a kiss.
*The crowd claps and jeers as you plant a kiss on the actress or actor playing the hag - they play the part with spectacular realism.*
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
*"Oh my love! Dearest of hearts! I brought you a cake!" the hag croaks, removing a petrified cake from the folds of her apron.*
*The cake is spotted with mould.*
1) Take a bite of the cake.
*The cake tastes of cinnamon and is so stale that you are forced to drag your teeth along its rock-hard surface to scrape some crumbs off.*
*The crowd watches in morbid fascination.*
**The Dealer draws 2 Life Pain Cards and a Gold Gain Card.**
*Then, inexplicably, a caged boar is dragged onstage. The hag looks at you expectantly.*
1) Release the boar!
*Before anybody can stop you, you open the cage. The boar blinks, startled, before charging off the stage into the screaming crowd. Its tusks gouge your leg as it makes its escape.*
**The player draws 2 Life Pain Cards.**
**The Dealer draws a Steel Monster Card.**
*The boar gores an innocent bystander before disappearing with a snort down an alley. Other than the person bleeding out, the crowd assumes this is all part of the show.*
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
**The player must wrap up the performance (see below)**
2) Propose to the boar!
*Reacting to your direction, the hag feigns shock at this unfolding drama.*
*From the audience you hear a few stifled yawns. Someone throws a bread roll at you.*
**The Dealer draws a Steel Monster Card.**
*You see Old Patton signalling for you to wrap up the performance.*
2) Abandon this farcical endeavour.

You Throw the cake onto the ground struggle angrily out of your costume, and leave.
**The Dealer adds 1 Brimstone Steel Monster Card to the Monster Deck.**

**Encounter Ends**
2) Tell the hag that the marriage is off.
*Not skipping a beat, the hag feigns hurt shock, and flings a prop at you in anger.*
**The player draws a Life Pain Card.**
*It bounces off your head, painfully. The crowd cheers.*
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
*Seeing the audience's reaction, the hag continues to throw objects at you. You dodge them as they come.*
A) Punch the hag in the face.
*You leap forward and land a stunning blow. Not to be outdone, the hag jumps on you and sinks her yellowed teeth into your arm.*
**The player draws a Life Pain Card.**
*The crowd cheers and applauds.*
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
*You trade blows for a while, until Old Patton kicks sense into the both of you.*
*Blood pours from the hag's nose. She glares at you and mutters something under her breath.*
**The Dealer draws a Curse.**
*Old Patton coughs to get your attention and points, inexplicably, at the mock dining table on the stage.*
1) Pretend to eat a meal.
*You sit down and comment on the weather, and how beautiful the audience is.*
The crowd claps vigorously at this.
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
You see Old Patton signalling for you to wrap up the performance.
**The player must wrap up the performance (see below)**

2) Cover the hag with the tablecloth.
*You tug on the tablecloth, spilling cutlery and shattering plates on the floor. Old Patton sighs heavily.*
*You then place the cloth gently over the fuming hag.*
*You hear muttering from under the cloth.*
**The Dealer draws a Curse.**
**The player must wrap up the performance (see below)**
B) Start to monologue.
*You begin to talk of the rising price of pine nut jam. The hag stops throwing things at you and stares in disbelief.*
*A few members of the audience leave in boredom.*
**The Dealer draws a Steel Monster Card.**
*You must salvage the performance.*
1) Propose to the hag!
*The hag spits in your face and storms off the stage.*
**The Dealer draws a Steel Monster Card.**
*The crowd watches on, awkwardly. A small child starts crying.*
A) Juggle.
*You ask the crowd if they have anything to juggle - they return with a dagger, a half-eaten pasty and a floppy boot.*
*You throw the ungainly items into the air and suddenly realize you don't know how to juggle.*
*The pasty falls into the boot, while the dagger hurtles into the panicked crowd.*
**The Dealer draws a Steel Monster Card.**
**The player must wrap up the performance (see below)**
B) Do some acrobatics.
You attempt a handstand. As your legs rise inexorably towards the sky you feel your boot connect briefly with something solid until it flies over the gasping crowd.
You turn over, fearful that you have somehow kicked off somebody's head only to see a melon soaring over the crowd and into a waiting basket.
The crowd oohs and claps politely.
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
2) Punch the hag in the face!
*You leap forward and land a stunning blow. Not to be outdone, the hag jumps on you and sinks her yellowed teeth into your arm.*
**The player draws a Life Pain Card.**
*The crowd cheers and applauds.*
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
*You trade blows for a while, until Old Patton kicks sense into the both of you.*
*Blood pours from the hag's nose. She glares at you and mutters something under her breath.*
**The Dealer draws a Curse.**
*Old Patton coughs to get your attention and points, inexplicably, at the mock dining table on the stage.*
1) Pretend to eat a meal.
*You sit down and comment on the weather, and how beautiful the audience is.*
The crowd claps vigorously at this.
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
You see Old Patton signalling for you to wrap up the performance.
**The player must wrap up the performance (see below)**

2) Cover the hag with the tablecloth.
*You tug on the tablecloth, spilling cutlery and shattering plates on the floor. Old Patton sighs heavily.*
*You then place the cloth gently over the fuming hag.*
*You hear muttering from under the cloth.*
**The Dealer draws a Curse.**
**The player must wrap up the performance (see below)**
B) Ask what happened to the deceased actor.
*"My baker has been walled into his own home, hasn't he. He's gonna either starve or get eaten by the corrupted."*
*The old man looks positively delighted at that prospect.*
2) Leave it alone.

### Wrapping up the Performance

*You see Old Patton signalling for you to wrap up the performance.*

1) Curtsy.

*You put on your most endearing expression and curtsy your way to victory.*
*The audience is captivated.*
**The Dealer draws a Gold Gain Card.**
2) Denounce the Empire.

*The crowd regards your speech with suspicion. They are sure to alert the Empire.*
**The Dealer adds 1 Brimstone Steel Monster Card to the Monster Deck.**
*A single member of the audience, a woman in a dirty apron, looks inspired by your speech.*
**Herda the Aproned pledges her services to the cause.**
*You hope that Old Patton is happy with your performance.*

**Wheel Gambit** (All cards drawn by the Dealer during the performance - get only one card from the Wheel Gambit)

Gold Gain

*The crowd cheers and throws coins onto the stage as you bow. You've put on a good show.*
**The player acquires the Gold Gain Card.**
*Old Patton is impressed by your dedication to the role. His charcoaled eyes well with tears. "Now this! This is acting!"*
**Old Patton pledges his services to the cause.**
*Your escapades at the pageant wagon have increased your notoriety.*

**The player gains 4 Fame.**