Wayne Graves

Wayne Graves meeting President Obama at the International Crispy Food Convention

## Physical description

### Gender

Male

**Wayne Graves** is the founder and creator of Sunbites Grain Waves. He now resides in Auckland New Zealand where he still, at age 126, looks over the New Zealand and Australia branch of Sunbites.

## Early Life

Wayne Graves was born on December ╯,1891 (a date which no longer exists in modern time) in Coalville, Birmingham. His Mother, Rose Graves, worked in a Grain Factory for a living; while his father, Doug Graves, dug graves.

At age 4, he was diagnosed with Dyslexia after kindergarten teachers noticed that was misspelling his name as 'Grain Waves'. After the diagnosis his parents disowned him, letting him loose into the streets with only a poncho and a sack of grain to sell for food. The years that followed consisted mostly of Charles Dickens style hijinks and Annie style unrealistically optimistic orphans.

## Aging Syndrome

At age 15, Wayne developed a rare, never before seen aging syndrome which is now known as known as Bornstein's Syndrome, a syndrome discovered by Harold Bornstein's great, great Grandfather, Hermaphrodite Bornstein. The syndrome was discovered by Dr. Bornstein as he was the cheapest doctor in the town. The syndrome caused Wayne to suddenly and rapidly age into the state of a 90 year old man. At 15 years old, Wayne Graves was living his life as a 90 year old man.

## Breakthrough

After Wayne came to terms with his syndrome, he started to focus on his idea of producing hardened grain. He started his own company named *Old Wayne's Crispy Grain Snack* which would sell a single bag filled with 5 sticks of hardened Grain. The snack went down as a massive success in Tennessee making Wayne Graves $50 in 3 months, something that had never been done before in Tennessee. The snack was picked up by Moonlicks, a company specializing in small tasty snacks in the southern states of US o GB. They requested to partner with the then 16 year old Wayne Graves in which they would manufacture and sell the snacks across all 4 southern states. According to Wayne, he agreed but to one condition which was that he would be the face of the product telling them that it would help raise awareness to the newly found syndrome.

## Moonlicks Lawsuit

In 1909, Moonlicks filed a lawsuit against Wayne Graves claiming he had breached their contract by opening up smaller stalls around southern US o GB where he would gather all incoming profit. Wayne counter sued for $10,000 claiming he had been targeted for his syndrome and age and that Moonlicks had links to pedophile trafficking rings across the southern boarder. Wayne won the lawsuit and bought out Moonlicks changing it's name to Sunbites, a slight play on the previous title. Moonlicks CEO at the time of the lawsuit claims that over the years of working with eachother, Wayne set up the pedophile trafficking ring as a way to bankrupt the company and force them to sell it to Graves. To this day Wayne has denied these allegations, although recent DNA tests done in 2013 on a family in Mexico show a match between Wayne and the family. Unfortunately the entire family all committed suicide by each locking themselves in a suitcase and suffocating themselves for unknown reasons.

## Trademark Wave Shape and birth of Grain Waves

Wayne has said that the idea for the trademark wave shape came to him when he saw a wave of muddy water during a earthquake in the 1920's. He went on to mold the shape out of water and grain as a way to re-invent the brand. His investors loved the idea and *Old Wayne's Crispy Grain Snack* was changed to what we today know as *Grain Waves*.

## Success

Wayne Graves only became more successful as time went on. In 1930, Grain Waves had at last reached the most northern point of the now, United States of America which greatly improved profits. In 1940, it was estimated that Wayne Graves was the richest man in the world with a net worth of 4 Billion USD. It is widely theorized that Wayne Graves himself bought and still owns the Rothschild and Rockefeller family to this day.

## The Simpsons

In 1988, Matt Groening approached Wayne Graves to ask for permission to use his likeness on his up and coming full series of The Simpsons that was set to air in the following year. Wayne says that he saw potential in the show and invested 2 million USD stating "I knew the show would become successful in a few years, so I invested wisely and let Matt use my likeness. The Simpsons is earning me roughly 10 million USD annually so I think it's fair to say I made the right decision."

## Involvement with DJ Condog

Om August 19, 2016 DJ Condog went on air on his Drive Time Radio Game Show Show with Wayne Graves where the two got into a heated argument about betrayal before DJ Condog's murder live on air by the Headphone Jack. That show reached a record breaking 15 plays on Soundcloud largely due to Wayne Graves chilling first words after DJ Condog was murdered. "*He's dead, DJ Condog is dead"* became Time magazines front cover slogan for the following months issue and the sentence was printed in newspapers worldwide.

## Vegan Wars I Conspiracy Theory

In 1955, a Russian born scientist living in Boston called Kekinma' Rectomuff discovered a anagram in the title *Grain Waves*. He discovered rearranging the letters created the words *Vegan Wars I.* Kekinma' immediately went to his friend who worked at the news paper printers and got him to insert the information as a page 2 article. Kekinma' was arrested the following day after witnesses reported seeing him and his friend, who is still unknown to this day, entering the building the day before the paper was dispatched. Kekinma' was taken to Suffolk County Sheriff's Department where he would await trial for acts of treason.

Two days later, Kekinma' was discovered hanging in his jail cell by a Police officer on guard. It is still theorized to this day that because Wayne Graves had many politicians as close friends, he ordered Kekinma's death in fear he would discover Wayne Graves plan to wage war against vegans. As of 2018, no such war has occurred and no evidence proving this theory has been brought to light

**Please note everything said by Wayne Graves in the *Drive Time Radio Game Show Show* on August 19, 2016 pre the introduction to The Headphone Jack is non-canon.**

**- Chief Curator,**

**Matt Besler**