Frank the Father

**Frank the Father** is an episode of ***F is for Family***. It is the ninth episode of Season 3.

## Summary

Frank tries a new parenting style after bailing Kevin out of jail. Maureen and Phillip finally appear on Hobo Jojo. Bill makes a life changing decision.

## Extended Plot

Kevin gets bailed out of jail much to the anger and disgust of Frank. After witnessing him yelling at him under the guise of giving him the benefit of his wisdom and declaring Kevin not a man, Sue suggests to Frank that he should try talking to him in a gentle and nurturing tone. Frank argues that yelling is the only way it gets him to listen, but after witnessing Sue cry, Frank ultimately relents and agrees to do so... right after he talks to Chet in the hospital in order to get more information after all that he did to Frank and Sue, despite Sue's objections. With intentions to yell at him, he changes his attitude after witnessing Chet's state in his hospital bed. Chet tells him the story of how he received a dog which ended up shitting on his dad's favorite pair of shoes, causing him to drown it in the sink and his mother blamed him for not taking it out; the dog was the last thing he cared for. He cries when he realizes that Nguyen-Nguyen isn't coming (due to her being in prison) and requests that Frank hold his hand, telling Frank to not fuck up the same way he did. Frank goes off to talk with Kevin, but not before Chet throws one last bombshell to him, much to his disgust and leaves Chet to die.

Frank then goes to Kevin's room in the basement, and tells Kevin that he's smart enough to know he made a big mistake, and convinces him to join him in the kitchen. Kevin obliges, under the fear that he might kill him. Although Frank struggles at first to try this new method, Frank tries to reason with Kevin that they used to be buddies when he was little. Kevin thinks Frank doesn't care about him, which leads to Frank telling him about a traumatic story about his father laughing at him in a school play. However throughout the story, Kevin falls asleep, much to Frank's anger. The two begin to argue with Frank arguing that he's hard on him due to him caring about him, not noticing Maureen on the television. Kevin then labels examples of times where Frank never gave a single care about him. (Such as when he got stung by jellyfish at age nine on a beach, him thinking his name was "The Accident", etc.) Frank then states that he wishes that he had one kid who wasn't a complete disappointment.

Fed up with Frank's attitude after he scolds him for swearing and neglecting to hear his problems, Bill goes over to Bridget's house, who states that Jimmy told their father that she and Bill were dating, saying to her that he didn't want her "spreading her thighs 'till she was old enough to weigh tables". After a brief argument with him, Bridget suggests that she and Bill both move away to Pittsburgh. Although he initially doesn't wanna go with her, overhearing Frank lowkey call him a disappointment, he ultimately makes the decision to go with her.

Frank promises to watch Maureen on Hobo Jojo, to which Maureen and Phillip both get picked, mainly due to Jim Jeffords' (Hobo Jojo) pregnancy fetish. The two play the game of ring toss, and while Phillip throws his rings poorly, Maureen gets two out of three rings in. Determined to make her lose, Hobo Jojo kicks the box of bottles, causing the ring to miss the bottles, much to their dismay. Maureen immediately catches onto the fact that Jojo cheated them, and Phillip attacks him before he kicks him in the face.

Angered at Frank for not keeping both promises to be gentle to Kevin and watching Maureen on the TV, Sue angrily walks off. Kevin smartmouths Frank, angering him more, and Maureen angrily states that Kevin was right, and lies about Bill, stating that she was living in a junkyard of rats. Fed up with the 'nice' act, Frank ultimately goes off on everyone, grounding Kevin forever, telling Maureen to be a man, telling Goomer to go home, and going to Bill's room to (assumingly) put him through the fucking wall. However, as he enters Bill's room, he finds a note in there stating that Bill has ran away, stating his goodbyes to each of the family members. As the family grieves over him running away, Bill and Bridget wait at the train station, awaiting their stop to Pittsburgh.

## Trivia

* **Title Reference:** Frank fulfilling his role as a father.
* Bill and Bridget share a first kiss.
* This episode is a big culmination of Frank and Kevin's entire father-son relationship.
* Kevin was told that Frank's father lived on a comet.
* Frank reveals that his father humiliated him and called him Francine when he was Bill's age, which explains his aggressive nature.
* Kevin now has a criminal record.
* In this episode it is said by Bill that Maureen is adopted. It is unknown if it’s true or not, although it is highly unlikely.
* Maureen and Phillip (chaperoned by Sue) get picked for the Coal Cart Carnival because Hobo JoJo actor Jim Jeffords has a fetish for pregnant women.
* The episode takes place on July 29, 1974, as referenced by the mailed tickets for the Hobo Jojo show Phillip gets in the previous episode It's In His Blood.

## Quotes

**Frank:** Do you ever wonder why we never see my father?

**Kevin:** Because he lives on a comet.

**Frank:** THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

**Kevin:** THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME, WHEN I WAS FOUR!!!

**Frank:** Oh that's right, I did. Well, here's the real reason.

**Frank:** How do I sum him up? I was in the fifth grade play. And my dad said he was actually going to take off work to come and see me, so I was excited. Well...turn out he just came down there to laugh at me. Which he did. Loudly and repeatedly. So. (Murmhem) I started to forget my lines. And more people started laughing. He humiliated me. Afterwards he refused me to give me a ride home because he said that there was no room in a DeSotto for sissies in act in plays. My mother was always silent. (Sniffle) Fucking guy drove...drove behind me the whole way over blowing the horn saying "Who wants a daughter? Thought I had a son!" Called me...Called me Francine for the Rest of the year. I told myself right then and there...that I would never be like him...I guess.,.it really hurts me to think that you look at me like-

**Kevin:** (Snoring)

**Frank:** OH WHAT THE FUCK!

**Kevin:**  (Ahhhh!) JESUS CHRIST! THE HELL YOU DOING?!

**Frank:** I'M TRYING TO OPEN UP TO YOU YA FUCKIN" ASSHOLE!

**Kevin:** (Shouting) My ninth birthday! You took me to the beach! AND YOU LEFT ME THERE! AND THEN I GOT STUNG BY A JELLYFISH!!!

**Frank:** Ah you didn’t wind so much I wouldn’t tune you out. I WAS GETTING A BEER I SAW WHERE YOU WERE!

**Bill:** (Nervous) Home sweet home.

**Kevin:** (Agitated) I never even wanted me in the first place!

**Frank:** (Angry) THAT'S NOT TRUE!

**Kevin:** (Angry) THE FIRST FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE, I THOUGHT MY NAME WAS THE ACCIDENT!

**Frank:** IT WAS A PLAYFUL JOKE BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND ME!

**Kevin:** (Screaming) YOU WROTE IT ON MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!

**Frank:** (Smiling) We were having fun!

**Frank:** (Seriously looking at Bill) Oh Jesus Christ. What do you want?!

**Bill:** (Gloomy) Dad? I really need to talk to you about something.

**Frank:** Not now, Bill! Huh? I'm in the middle of something.

**Bill:** Oh, this is really important.

**Frank:** (Angrily) CANT YOU SEE THAT I'M HAVING A HEART-TO-HEART BUT YOUR FUCKING BROTHER?!?!

**Bill:** (walks sternly in to his room)