Drunk Princess

Drunk PrincessStatistics

SoundsHurt
Killed
***Map Icon***
 **This is a Town NPC. A House may be required in order for it to appear.**
*Not to be confused with Princess, a vanilla NPC.*
The **Drunk Princess** was an NPC vendor that sold Alcohol depending on the player's progression, she also had the unique ability to count the number of times the player had died in the world.

The Drunk Princess would spawn once the following conditions were met:

* There was an empty house.
* A player in the world had Fabsol's Vodka in their inventory.
* The world was in Hardmode.

When threatened by enemies, she would defend herself with a ray of light that functioned similarly to the Interfacer Staff.

## Names

* The Drunk Princess would always be named Cirrus.

## Quotes

**While homeless:**

* "I could smell my vodka from MILES away!"
* "Have any spare rooms available? Preferably candle-lit with a hefty supply of booze?"

**Anytime:**

* "I HATE WALMART! ...Anyway, what do you want this time?"
* "Deals so good I'll [$$!$] myself! ...Sorry, just had a minor stroke!"
* "Did anyone ever tell you that large assets cause back pain? Well, they were right."
* "Hey [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor] and [name of Patreon donor]! You're all pretty good!"
* "Drink something that turns you into a magical flying unicorn so you can be just like me."

**During the Day:**

* "I'm literally balls drunk off my sass right now, what do you want?"
* "I'm either laughing because I'm drunk or because I've lost my mind, probably both."
* "When I'm drunk I'm way happier... at least until the talking worms start to appear."
* "I should reprogram the whole mod, while drunk, then send it back to the testers."

**During the Night:**

* "A perfect night to light some candles, drink some wine and relax."
* "Here's a challenge... take a shot for every time you've had to look at the wiki. Oh wait, you'd die."
* "Yes, everyone knows the mechworm is buggy. Well, not anymore, but still."
* "You lost or something? I don't mind company, but I'd rather be left alone at night."
* "Are you sure you're 21? ...Alright, fine, but don't tell anyone I sold you these."

**During a Blood Moon:**

* "I'm gonna make some Bloody Marys to relax, celery included. Want one?"
* "If you're too lazy to craft potions normally, try Blood Orbs. Blood is fuel, dumbass."
* "I'm trying to not be bitchy tonight, but it's hard when everyone else won't shut up."
* "Sorry, I have no moral compass at the moment." (Damages the player for half their health)

**During a Party:**

* "You'll always find me at parties where booze is involved... well, you'll always find BOOZE where I'M involved!"

**During the Acid Rain:**

* "I'm melting! Put a stop to this inclement weather this instant before it ruins my hair!"

**During Martian Madness:**

* "You should probably deal with those ayy lmaos before anything else, but whatever."

**If any boss was active:**

* "Why are you talking to me right now? Shouldn't you be bumbling around and dying for my amusement?"

**If Cryogen had been defeated:**

* "God I can't wait to smash some ice again! ...For drinks, of course."

**If Leviathan had been defeated:**

* "How could you murder such a beautiful creature!? ...The blue sexy one, not the obese cucumber."

**If Polterghast had been defeated:**

* "I saw a ghost down by the old train tracks back at my homeland once, flailing wildly at the lily pads... frightening times those were."

**If The Devourer of Gods had been defeated:**

* "I hear it's amazing when the famous Devourer of Gods out in flap-jaw space, with the tuning fork, does a raw blink on Hara-kiri rock. I need scissors! 61!"

**If Tavernkeep was present:**

* "Tell [Name of Tavernkeep] to stop calling me. He’s not wanted."
* "I've had to tell baldie where my eyes are so many times that I've lost count."
* "My booze will always be better than [Name of Tavernkeep]'s, and nobody can convince me otherwise."

**Anytime if Stylist was present:**

* "You can't stop me from trying to move in with [Name of Stylist]."
* "I love it when [Name of Stylist]'s hands get sticky from all that... wax."
* "[Name of Stylist] works wonders for my hair... among other things."
* "Ever since [Name of Stylist] moved in I haven't been drinking as much... a strange but not unwelcome feeling."

**At night if Stylist was present:**

* "I should watch some movies with [name of Stylist] tonight. You could come too, but only if you bring snacks for us."

**If Brimstone Witch was present:**

* "The abuse [Name of Brimstone Witch] went through is something I can hardly comprehend. I'd offer her a drink, but I don't think she'd enjoy it."

**If Archmage was present:**

* "I never realized how well-endowed [Name of Archmage] was. It had to be the largest icicle I'd ever seen."

**During the Day if Moon Lord had been defeated and the Stylist was present:**

* "[name of Stylist] helped me learn to accept my past. It's been rough, but I think I'm on the right track now."
* "Might go out for a jog later with [name of Stylist]. Nice day for it."

**During the Day before Moon Lord had been defeated and the Stylist wasn't present:**

* "I drink to forget certain... things. What things, you might ask? Well, the point is to forget them, isn't it?"
* "What a great day! Might just drink so much that I get poisoned again."

**If Moon Lord had been defeated:**

* "Ever wondered why the Moon Lord needed so many tentacles? Uh... on second thought, I won't answer that."

**If the player had the Fab debuff:**

* "Oh yeah, now you're drinking the good stuff! Do you like it? I created the recipe by mixing fairy dust, crystals and other magical crap."

**If the player had the Chibii Devourer equipped:**

* "The hell is that? Looks like something I'd carry around if I was 5 years old."

**If the player had the Aquatic Heart equipped:**

* "Nice scales... is it hot in here or is it just me?"

**If the player had Princess Spirit in a Bottle:**

* "So... you found my special bottle. Hope you enjoy it, I know I will."
* "Be sure to dismount me once in a while, I get tired. And besides, I can't rip you off-I mean offer you excellent deals you won't find anywhere else if you're riding me 24/7."
* "Before you ask, no, I do NOT have a heart on my butt while in human form. Don't question my transformation preferences!"

**When selecting Death Count:**

* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] time(s)."

**If the player has died over 100 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. Consider lowering the difficulty. If you found that statement irritating, good."

**If the player has died over 250 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. I admire your tenacity. Keep it up, your enemies are racking up quite the kill count!"

**If the player has died over 500 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. Your inability to avoid dying to even the most basic of attacks is astonishing to me."

**If the player has died over 1000 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. It is said the average Terrarian has a lifespan of 2 minutes or less. ...Well, not really, but I feel like you'd be part of that statistic."

**If the player has died over 2500 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. Bless your heart. I could dodge better than you even if I were drunk high."

**If the player has died over 5000 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. I'm not sure what to say this time. That you're bad and should feel bad? That much was known already."

**If the player has died over 10000 times:**
* "You have failed [Number of Deaths] times. Congratulations! You are now, officially, the biggest loser in Terraria's history! Who was number two? Hell if I know."

## Notes

* The amount of damage dealt by Drunk Princess's slap was at least 20.
* The Discount Card and other items that granted a similar effect would not reduce the prices of any items sold by the Drunk Princess.
* The price of all items sold by The Drunk Princess were increased.
	+ The cost of all drinks were increased by 50%
	+ The cost of all candles were increased by 300%
	+ The cost of odd mushroom was increased by 200%
* The displayed sell value of all items sold by the Drunk Princess were false due to her increased sell prices.
	+ The sell price of all drinks were decreased from 20% of the buy price to 13.34%
	+ The sell price of all candles were decreased from 20% of the buy price to 5%
	+ The sell price of odd mushroom were decreased from 20% of the buy price to 6.67%
* Using the Princess Spirit in a Bottle while she was present will cause her to despawn, and she would respawn on the last player to dismount the mount.

## Trivia

* The Drunk Princess was a self-insertion of the owner of the mod, also known as Cirrus, Fabsol or MountainDrew, who has been known to get drunk a lot on several occasions.
	+ The Drunk Princess was removed following a controversy over the inclusions of unfitting content within the mod.
	+ A functionally identical Town NPC is planned for the future.
* The Drunk Princess had only one possible name, sharing this trait with Santa Claus, the Sea King, the Brimstone Witch, and the Archmage.
* The quote about reprogramming the whole game while drunk was a fourth-wall-breaking quote, implying the creator of the mod getting drunk and sending a broken mod to the beta testers of the mod.
* The quote about the buggy mechworm was a reference to the bugs caused by Staff of the Mechworm being frequently reported by the community.
* Dying from the no moral compass quote would result in the death message being "<PlayerName> was slapped too hard".
* The "deals" quote was a reference to Spamton G. Spamton from the second chapter of Deltarune.
* The "blood is fuel" quote was a reference to the game, *Ultrakill*.
* The quote about the Hara-kiri rock and scissors as well as space invaders referenced to the lines spoken by the *Colonel* in *Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty*.
* The Drunk Princess was most likely a lesbian, as evidenced by her attraction to the Stylist, the player if wearing an Aquatic Heart, and her post-Leviathan quote; or bisexual, considering her implied sexual encounter with the Archmage.
* The "Talking Worms" quote was a reference to The Devourer of Gods, as during the boss fight, it repeatedly talks to the player.
* In the mod's source files, the Drunk Princess was referred to as 'FAP'.
* The Drunk Princess despawning when mounting the Alicorn was in reference to how both are canonically the same entity.
* In one of her quotes, the Drunk Princess said the names of several people who have donated a certain amount to the Calamity Mod on Patreon, randomly selected. The list of all possible names are as follows: