PLDF Chapter 33

> Chapter 33: "Spring Brings More Crossover to the Fray. We've Got This!"
>
>

## Sub-Entry 321: "The Very Merry Month of May Again":

May.

There was a point I didn't think this month would ever come.

Well.

Now it's here.

Why do they call it May again?

The most cliche saying goes "April showers bring May flowers."

I've heard that "it may rain or it may not."  May is the month that decides what the climate and weather will be on a whim.  And yet...it's the prologue to summer.

May is the second in a series of months that are also female names.  The others being April, June, and August.

Really...May was just May.  The fifth month out of the year.  For some reason it felt like the end of a period of melancholy left behind by April.  No real reason that I can explain though...it feels like that depression peaked on Sally's birthday on the 25th.  But now There was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Wish I had an answer for it but I don't.  Maybe one of my past iterations from the previous Goddess Games has a reason.

Okay, enough about what's past.

What else is associated with May?

Well...if you're in Elementary School...likely May Day.  For grade scholars there was an activity of wrapping the May Pole.

But if you're a pilot, that phrase takes on a different meaning you want to avoid at any cost.  Though...I am discussing May Day and not "mayday".  I think I'd freak out if I ever received that universal call for help by Gadget while she was flying.

Other sayings with May?

How about "Mother, may I?".  I had no doubt I'd be seeing Toriel at her best at some point during this month.  But...let's not get ahead of ourselves.  I had some other things slated for this month, including two birthdays and one of them fell on a dual-holiday; Cinco de Mayo and Kodomo no Hi.

After explaining them both so many times during these three Project Lost Dreemurr dossiers, I should ting I've been very clear on every bullet point associated with that date.  I probably shouldn't have to give a refresher course...but chances are...I will.

Spring has sprung, the grass is ris.  And I'm sure any cats in town wonder where the birdies is, yes?

That's my Heathcliff moment.

All around town people were taking notice that the weather was...nicer.  When it wanted to be.

Things were getting warmer.

The plants that had gone dormant were blooming all over again.

Lupe was starting to show less signs of being melancholic and more signs of being joyful.  It was the change in climate, giving her back the full extent of her druid powers once more.

At this point it was starting to feel like the status quo.  It had been a while since Undertale and VGM-098 had linked up and our alliances had been cemented.

Then...it felt so final.  Project Lost Dreemurr coming to what felt like an end.

But it won't end.  It goes on.

For how long I don't know.  I want the story to go on but...being that it had a beginning...in that room where Asriel was moments from starting the plan...from taking Chara's soul...

I just know somewhere down the line the Goddesses will decide the story has been completely told.

That worried me.  There was no telling what lay beyond.  What another reboot would do to us all.

I didn't want to think about something so nebulous and far off.  Hopefully...very, very far off.

But...

If it happened...would Asriel...would any of Undertale return in any form?

Likely I'd still be in a new iteration of S.T.C.A.  Probably more convoluted.  Probably the same circumstances.  Probably the same eternal nemesis in the role of Black Knight.

But...that wasn't a guarantee.  Who's to say the setup couldn't be completely different?

There they were again.  My worries.  My fears.

Would my friends and family return?  Would they be in recognizable forms?

Would...I even be aware they had previous ones?  My trip through the remnants of Universal City and the echoes of Game World had proven anything could be wiped.  And like that I could stumble upon the whispers of their previous existence all over again.

Okay, Volt.  You've gone way off topic since you began this entry about May.

Just...calm your nerves.

You'll...cross those bridges when you come to them...if you ever reach them.  Maybe...maybe this iteration of the existence you're in now will last.

But it won't.

Some day...it will all reset.

That's what Sans fears.  Would he...even be aware the UltraVerse reset if it went far beyond Undertale itself?

New month.  New things to chase my own tail about.

Well...I guess if Asriel, Frisk, Chara, and M.K. can be this determined to reach whatever may lie ahead, I should be inspired by their example.

Okay, May.  Let's see what you've got.

## Sub-Entry 322: "For Old Time's Sake..."

Konbanwa, minna.  It's been a long time since I wrote one of these, in the Commander's absence.

But before you ask, no.  This is a one-shot, not a permanent change.  Volt-san just could not find the time to write this sub-entry while S.T.C.A. keeps him busy.

Heh.  Is that not an irony for a time traveler to not have time?

However, I digress; all levity aside, what am I writing about?

It is quite simple.  The date is May 5th.

Yes.

It is once again Kodomo no Hi.  And by extension, I celebrate another year since my birth.

I hope it is not too much if I consider this my favorite day of the year.  Golden Week's number one moment has always been May 5th.  And, yes I do acknowledge the day shares more than one holiday.

The Skele-bro's no doubt are already celebrating and I'm sure for whatever reason, Lupe is hosting a feast of fish tacos in addition to a sizeable...I believe Earth calls it "Mexican fiesta"?  While she, herself doesn't share much in common with Earth's Mexico outside of an enjoyment of tacos, usually with fish or chicken meat...I'm told her counterpart that once existed in the ACM-001 timeline--in addition to being a mother--was also of "Mexican" descent.  I'm sure Volt-san has clarified our Lupe has more in common with the tribes of this "Native America" than Mexico, per se.

That little tangent aside...back to the subject at hand.

As I woke this morning, on my roll-away air mattress...much more practical than Violet's gaudy, oversized futon or Mettaton-dono's even larger king-sized bed with all the trimmings...that manages to put Antoine's to shame......huh...getting off track here.

Hmm...I seem to be in a descriptive mood right now.  No matter.

As I woke this morning I immediately knew the date and the approximate time.

"Another year."

Little did I know, my students, current and former, had already set in motion the large amount of work to making this day extra special for me and for everybody who had something to celebrate.

Mitzi had gotten up early just to bake, from scratch, a strawberry birthday cake with triple the strawberry flavors--cake, layers of real strawberry filling, and of course naturally-flavored strawberry icing.  Topped off with strawberries and served with equally triple-threat strawberry ice cream; actually filled with real strawberries and topped with strawberry syrup.

It's okay if I indulge in this much of my favorite pink fruit once a year, yes?

Asriel and M.K. had spent their time up to this point making a plethora of koinobori windsock carp.  And Megami and Shishiko made a promise to fly a special set from Rabbotou Dojo's flagpole just for us all.

Hot off of Sally's birthday last month, everyone was given plenty of extra early notice to be prepped for a week's time.  The word spread around fast and despite me being occupied, I most certainly did not let it escape my attention.  I was just seemingly more aloof about it.

"Ohayou, Bunnie Soudaina-shujin."

"You are too flattering, Megami-chan.  Even after all this time you need only address me as Bunnie.  Titles are inconsequential among friends."

"Hai, Bunnie-shujin."

"Close enough."  I smiled.

While the translation was a bit non-traditional, she had addressed me as Grand Master.  Though its literal was closer to "magnificent" master.

But I suppose I should be one to talk about being too flattering with respectful titles as I often addressed our queen as Brooke "dono" or "doumou".  Definitely a step or two higher than the "sama" suffix.  I suppose one might translate that along the lines of "exalted".

Respectful titles aside...

Now that I have properly woken with tea and a proper breakfast, perhaps I might be focused and not so descriptive with inconsequential details of my day.

Apologies, on that very note.

Ahem.

Of course I start the day with my routine chores and training.  Believe you me...that is quite a tall task of things to have accomplished; efficiently and properly before the morning classes.

Exercise routine is paramount.  Even with nano-assisted strength, speed, durability, and adaptability, that is no excuse for idleness.  This title of Grand Master was earned, not given.

"Already deep into training, Zoro-san?"

He swept his lone eye in my direction, the scar over the left one quite conspicuous.

In nothing but pants and hefting by FAR my biggest, most...questionably sane set of barbells in my gymnasium.

Roranoa Zoro.  Vice-Captain of the Straw-hat Pirates and best friend and swordsman to the future Pirate King, Monkey D. Luffy.

Or as Sanji-san called him..."Moss Head".  Though...that's one of the more...polite names the crew's chef had for him.

I think he was delighted I'd gotten heavier weights.

A training session with him might get...intense if he insists on sword practice...

After my training and replacing my sliced up gi...occupational hazard, mind you, classes could resume proper.

Asriel was already on hand to be my assistant sensei; often alternating with Mitzi in rotation for who assisted with classes.

Beginners class, I see--

"Mmm, yeah.  They're so STUPIIIIID!"

Really, Violet?  I lowered my eyebrow at Vi's TERRLBE attempt at an oriental accent.  Really.  Edoropians didn't have an accent per se but they always seemed to over exaggerate when the imitate my people's dialect.

Honestly, I could speak with or without a Jangese accent at will  after practicing to be verbally bi-lingual.  And occasionally, when no one was listening, I'd let mamma's Southern Drawl slip out.  Just to let her spirit be honored in the afterlife--

\*CRASH\*

"STUPIIIIIIIIIID!  YOU SO STUPIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!"  Violet repeated, the lines of karate master, Kuni.  That friend of George Newman at Channel 62....and still the host of Wheel of Fish, mind you.

"That'll be enough out of you!"  Shishiko snarled as she hurled Violet out of the doorway with an over-the shoulder toss.

"I thank you not to use mildly offensive racial stereotype quotes from U.H.F. much less insult my students, Violet."

"Redruuuum!  Redruuuum!"  Violet said in a daze as she lay upside-down against the tree she crashed into.

I sighed as Megami shook her head and Shishiko facepalmed.

"No Twinkie-wiener sandwiches for you, Aunt Vi!"  Asriel called out the door.

Classes went on as scheduled with no further issues once Violet was taken care of.

"Dismissed.  And do enjoy Golden Week!"

"We will, sensei!"  A chorus of answers in unison.  Those were always nice moments.

Well.  Once outside...

"And there it is."  I looked up as Asriel finished raising the Koinobori flags.

"Just in time, sensei."  Asriel gave a bow.

I returned the bow.

"I do enjoy this time of year."

"Well.  I know you still have a full day ahead, but...be sure to join us at Rock-Afire Pizzeria so we may celebrate proper."

"By proper...I trust a very strawberry cake and ice cream, yes?"

"And Alphys and Violet made sure to top it with strawberry pocky sticks in lieu of candles."

I couldn't help but giggle.  It was juvenile and very "weeb"...but also endearing and very appreciated.  They were thinking of me, at least.  But from anyone else the stereotypes might make me lower an eyebrow.

It is of no consequence.

Well.  It's spring season and the weather has gotten quite warm.  It should now be adequate for...

...a proper grooming and exercise regimen for you, old friend."

I had quick changed into a suitable outfit for riding and finished up the last few brush strokes on Hinohoshiko.  Once my inspection of everything from horseshoes to saddle was satisfactory, I mounted up and trotted out to the trail where Sally and Lupe were waiting.

"Ready to do this thing?"

"Ready and able, my friends."

"Let us take in nature's bounty."

And we were off to a nice horse-ride.

Time flies when you're having fun and before we knew it, it was time for the lunch hour.

A visit to Grillby's, with Hestia on her lunch break as well...

"You have mastered the art of the bento box quite well, Grillby-san."

"Mitzi, Hestia, Muffet, and I have all encouraged each other to expand our horizons.  Definitely one of my most unique endeavors but it's got a dedicated niche following that holds pretty steady."

"Would Dr. Alphys be on that list of frequent buyers?"

"But of course."

I smiled, gave thanks and snapped apart my chopsticks.

"Itakimashita."

A little afterward meant some time for my other hobbies.  Those of course included a bit of soccer practice with Asriel...

"Goal!"  Shishiko cheered Goat Son on.

...a little practice of the koto and the shamisen; for those times where music expressed that which could not be put into words...and that which could not remain silent.

Afternoon classes, followed up by meditation...

...and a session of Master Splinter and myself teaching Gerson the art of the game known as Shogi.  The Jangese chess, so to speak.

All the while, Violet looked on, taking notes while also going through a book of Sudoku puzzles.

As all things run their course, so did the hours of the day.

And I had a promise to keep.

One more moment of admiring the Koinobori and reflecting on the semi-transparency of my middle name, "Meiru".   It its Romanized form it was a pronunciation that Westerners would equate to "mail" or  more likely in my tomboyish case..."male".

Having the body, heart, and mind of a woman was who I was on the surface and I accepted that.  But having the soul of a boy underneath it all?  I had always been comfortable with it.  I'd always felt like there was no fence dividing one greener grass from the other.

It was my challenge walking the line dividing gender.  I would have it no other way.

In a way, my sensei’s considered me...more complete than most people would ever hope to be in a lifetime.

The secret to it all...was wearing that mantle with pride.

I am Bunnie Meiru Rabbotou.  This May 5th is my birthday.  This is who I am and I'm very happy being who  and what I am.

And what I am is...right on time to keep a promise...

"Happy birthday, Bunnie!"

Their united voices in Rock-Afire Pizza was the icing on the cake, metaphorically speaking.

This was the sign that it was and still continues to be...a great day to be alive.  To be a year older.

To be me.

And so...

"It seems your special day was everything you could have asked for."  Volt was the last one to leave besides me.

"And more."

I grasped the photo with a note.

"Thank you for being my guiding light when mom's was extinguished.  I'm going to honor her wishes and allow Zack and Billy to guide me on my path.   I only wish I had listened to them sooner.  You were right.  There is nothing to be gained by seeking revenge.  Mom would have said it is not the Ranger way.  When next you visit I'll be waiting for your advice and I look forward to what all you have to tell about your friendship with Mom.

Sincerely, Mihn Kwan."

"Hard to believe we resolved that so quicky and brought closure to the remaining team."

"With any luck Aquatar will be able to restore the others that Rita used to power the Time Gate."

"And Billy and I will work around the clock to make sure it's properly dismantled and destroyed.  We'll keep up on making sure no one else moves into Bandora Palace."

I nodded with a smile.

"Well.  I'll be on my way."

"Sayonara, Commander.  I will retire to Rabbotou Dojo for the night."

"Take care, Major."

It was a good to have closure.  Now we call can move on toward the future.

Until next time...

Ja-ne.

## Sub-Entry 323: "Kidd Video: the Music Interpreter.  Lyrical Soothsayer."

Frisk had been watching Shishiko for some time.  She could tell our Siamese cat had something on her mind.  Perhaps...something still tying her back to the Flip Side?

Finally after she had observed enough to be sure...

"Can we talk?"

"About?"  Shishiko paused her sweeping.

"You've been...distant lately.  Pensive."

"And you decided to poke your nose in it?"

A pause.

"Sorry.  That came out abrasive.  Old habits."

Shishiko put the straw broom away and offered some Jangese sweet bean pastries that Megami had prepared.

"Thanks."

"Well.  You're not wrong, kiddo."

"I haven't been a kid in a while.  I’m looking ahead and seeing middle-age creep up on me.  It's not as obvious with Azzy but...he's going to start noticing down the road when I start going grey like Dr. Brighton."

"Fair point.  But I am speaking to you woman to woman so...let's not dwell on titles or nicknames."

"Okay."

Had it been Chara she would have said 'Okay...She-Lion.'

Doubt that would have gone over well.

"Just thinking of a lifetime of failures leading up to where I am now and...what attributed to them.

Only now can I accept my portion of the blame.  Part of which is enabling Master Blaster to keep treating us like throw rugs instead of standing up to him like I should have.  Which I didn't technically do.  I ran.  I ran so far away."

"That's...from a song lyric, right?  One of Sally's favorites."

"Heh.  Well aren't you observant?"

A sip of her tea.

"So...just to be clear we HAVE buried the hatch about your fiancé."

"You haven't given me a reason to be worried."

"Yeah...sorry about earlier.  I have a temper."

"It's fine."

"Well...funny you should draw attention to a couple lyrics like that.  I'd been thinking about...how Kidd Video and the others managed to always get a step ahead of us after Kool Kitty, Fat Kat and I would leave them in the dust or captured or whatever we were doing to "get" them as part of Master Blaster's plan."

"Go on?"

"I don't know if Asriel has explained but...our world is a...Wonderland of sorts.  Like that book by Lewis Carol.  But...according to what I've overhead when spying on Kidd and the others is...our world is like a fever dream rooted in pop music.  Whatever was...a hot act in their world.  Hot acts, mind you, that the Master Blaster would kidnap to our dimension and imprison them in crystals or other implements.

We'd then plug our instruments into whatever prison he had a hot 80's group in and basically...lip sync our way to fame.  Or...try to.  Like that Milli Vanili group."

"I...see."

"When I stop to think about it, now...I wonder what his End Game was.  His motivations just kept changing.  Most of the time it seemed like he wanted to hold the Flip Side hostage and force them to attend our concerts.  Artificially skyrocket us to fortune and fame....though we never saw either."

Frisk visibly frowned.

"I deserve that.  We all did so many rotten things.  We were all so phony.  Kidd Video?  Their group was the real deal."

"If they were kidnapped to the Flip Side...how did--"

"You know your friend Violet has that...cyber-faerie called Glitter, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well...Glitter has a counterpart.  A real faerie version of herself in our world.  She used her special power of super strength; activated whenever she sneezes...to break them out of their confinements while they were being transported to the Master Blaster's fortress."

"So...that was it.  And...they became the resistance?  A sort of...Sonic Underground before Sonic Underground existed?"

"Arcade's already got you reference savvy, eh?  Well...I'll have to look up this Sonic Underground some time...but yeah.  Same thing.  A band out on the road, inspiring the people in a continuing battle to oppose tyranny."

"Sorry to steer you off track.  Song lyrics somehow tie into this?"

"You know how quests are often advanced through puzzles and riddles and vague wisdom handed down by NPC's and the like.  That sort of fortune cookie advice that just seems to escape you until something helps you figure it out?  Like a mnemonic cipher or something?"

"Kind of..."

"Well...music in our world is a way of life.  It's so rooted in everything...even the ancient words of old have some kind of message."

"And that's what you figured out?"

"I started putting the pieces together after I started reflecting on each of their adventures, starting with "To Beat the Band"."

"Oh?"

"Master Blaster...invented a time-manipulation box that...affected the ages of the people of Neon City in our world."

"Neon City?  Like Mitzi's hometown."

"Counterpart to, yes.  Well...when you have citizens made up of living neon tube shapes, they behave a little differently with age...though...I wonder if that was more the other effect of the clock box.  Anyway...the box was designed to speed the Neon City people up faster and faster, and thus their aging process as well.  At their tremendous speed, Master Blaster presumed there would be no way for them to ask for help if they were going too fast to understand them."

"But Kidd Video?"

"The recording equipment aboard the Kidd Mobile caught every word and Whiz played it back at reduced speed.  And that's how they got Mayor Leon's cry for help."

"Neon Leon?

Shishiko chuckled.  "It got funnier when you said it out loud...but yeah.  So...they came to Neon City and investigated."

"And that's how they knew the Master Blaster was behind it?"

"Not a smart thing to leave talking posters out on walls detailing his ultimatum.  You see the REAL danger of speeding up the Neon City folk was that they'd go faster and faster until they eventually burn out.  Literally."

"Yikes...it's one thing when a neon tube burns out here...but thinking about how a living person made of neon tube burns out...that gets a little macabre."

"And Master Blaster would have let it happen without a drop of remorse.  I thought we were okay with it at the time but...really we were just hiding behind our own cowardice, going along with his plans."

Frisk nibbled on a pastry as the Rabite Trio, Spot, and Candi Cane hopped about.

"So they knew WHO was behind it.  But how would they know where to search for clues?"

"Neon City Library.  Books are--"

"Different on your world?"

"You ever see that Harry Potter movie series with the moving photographs?  Try imaging that though the border between the page and your face is...none existent."

"That...sounds dangerous."

"Try opening a book on the weather to try to get a tan only for it to suddenly say the forecast turned to thunderstorms, wind, and an downpour.  Whiz probably doesn't want to remember."

"Go on.  I think I follow."

"Well.  A book named "the Beat of the City" held a clue in the form of a breakdancing Neon City teen; jamming to a song Kidd's world called "Electric Avenue" by Eddie Grant."

"By...any chance did anyone get a few zaps?"  Frisk smiled a little."

"A little static,  But no zaps.  But this is important so don't miss this:  The song lyrics went and I quote: We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.  And then we take it higher."

Frisk cocked her head.

"That's...kind of vague...but...?"

"Electric Avenue exists in Neon City in our world just like it does for Mitzi's home."

"I see...that's where they went to investigate?"

"Yeah."

"And the second part said to take it higher...?"

"You're following."

"What was higher in Neon City?"

"The answer?  A very big clocktower."

It was then the light went on for Frisk.

"And that's where Master Blaster hid the time box?"

"Bingo."

"And they figured that out from a music video?"

"Not just once."

Shishiko explained other times.

"One bad break...?"

"Yes.  A break to the hour glass that was the others' prison and...gradual doom.  It may seem like an obvious way out but...Kidd and Glitter were in a fix until they saw the appropriate video with that lyric in it."

"And still other times?"

"A lyrics about moving sidewalks inspired Glitter to break down stalactites to form steps."

Frisk got up and paced a bit.

"This seems like it would be a real low-key, valuable skill to learn."

"Yeah...you never know when interpreting something in pop music could save your life."

"So...any other unique times?"

"Well...there was this instance when we stole all the creatures of Lockstock Forest called "Woofers" and "Tweeters"."

"As in...loudspeakers?"

"Ah.  So that's the connection to Kidd's world.  Yeah.  Well the Stereo People were up in arms--"

Frisk withheld a chuckle at the mention of Stereo People.

"...up in arms about it and after the others got captured, Kidd and Glitter had to ask advice of the Old Man of the Mountain....who you might figure was an actual living mountain with a face."

"No different than anything I've seen in Undertale.  Continue."

"Well...he gave them inspiration in the form of "White Horse" by Laid Back, according to Master Blaster's logs of past groups he's kidnapped...and K.V. set free."

"White Horse?"

"Yeah.  The later part of the song went "If you want to ride, ride a White Pony.  Ride...ride a White Pony."

"...and...how did they get a clue from that?"  Frisk scratched her head.

"It was a story from Kidd's world.  Something about a Trojan Horse--"

"Oh THAT story!  Yeah!   Now it makes sense.  Azzy got me up to speed on Earth mythology and history and one of them was of soldiers making a sneak attack on their enemies by hiding inside a giant wooden horse and presenting it as a gift of peace and surrender.  Then late night after it was safely in the city and the guards were asleep from overeating at their victory feast, the soldiers inside climbed out of the horse and had an easy time slaughtering their enemies."

"Devious."

"So Kidd built a wooden horse?"

"Not so much.  More like a fake cocoon.  It was complicated but...we saw through the ruse but...somehow even though we had them trapped inside, they found a way out and their plan worked; allowing the release of the Woofers and Tweeters from Master Blaster's fortress."

"Wow.  It just seems so simple but...it's kind of brilliant and amazing how that works in your world."

"Then there was the riddle of the Pinx Sphinx which came in the form of "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes.  The part about: 'Watch it now!  The Evil in the Sky.  How it doesn't want you to leave' was all Whiz needed to figure out the Evil in the Sky is the Master Blaster."

"Wow, I'm going to really impress Azzy once I figure out how to do this."

"You know...as your Lyrical Soothsayer, maybe this is my path to redemption."

"Maybe."

"Course not ever music video that pops out of nowhere was necessarily a clue or a bite of wisdom.  Sometimes...they just happened spontaneously for no reason other than they coincidentally go with a situation.

You ever wonder what it's like for a Jelly-Belly to chase after a living water droplet through a desert while set to "Shout" by Tears for Fears?"

"Not sure what a Jelly-Belly is...but I'll imagine that on my own time."

"And then there was West End."

"On this world, West End is where Harmony Howlette is from."

Shishiko smirked for a moment.

"Okay.  Here's the set-up.  Master Blaster learned about Whiz inventing a literal dream machine--a device that can bring your dream into reality.  He tested it out by making a "dream feast" rather than cook the normal way.

Well...Master Blaster found out about Whiz's invention and sent us to steal it."

"I figure he'd want anything to give him power.  But what was his plan?"

"Revenge.  Earlier we'd been sent as his music tax collectors and when we tried to press the town to pay Master Blaster?  We got tarred, feathered and run out of town.  He didn't take our failure well so...he got the idea to modify Whiz's invention to punish them all."

"And he sent you to reap that payback?"

"Once we added the Nightmare Filter.....\*sigh\*...we brought everyone's nightmares to life and terrorized them into the wee hours of the morning.  Now try imagining we turned it loose in the biggest hotel in West End?"

"Oh my gosh...that would bring hundreds of nightmares to live."

"And imagine Kidd Video walks in with a plan to stop us, busting in to the sounds of "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood."

"I can see how the lyrics would be situational."  Frisk finished off her pastry.

"One more for the, Frisk.   So...long story short it involved one of Whiz's inventions which he used to bring some trees to life so he could have a private audience.  Apparently earlier in the day he felt left out of the group because the other members were getting so much recognition and attention from the fans while Whiz was...just there.  I guess that's the curse of playing bass?"

Frisk shook her head with a smile.  "I won't read into it.  So...?"

"It...was quite the rise to stardom and going through the motions of getting famous, touring, and doing the Hollywood walk of fame...in a matter of minutes.  That includes the personal jet and the limo ride.  All while set to "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"."

"That one's a stretch but...I kind of get it."

"So.  There you have it.  The nature of the Flip Side.  A world that not only writes its own laws of physics but even it's...well...this might be a bit fourth-wall breaking but...even its "art style" can suddenly change on a whim during  a music video out of nowhere."

"Yeah?"

"Kool Kitty probably doesn't want to hear the song, "Automatic" any time soon."

"Well.  You've had quite a tale to tell, Miss Shishiko."

"Yeah...and...now I feel better, having talked it out."

"You know...you're a pretty good friend for a cat."

"You're not so bad yourself, human."

With that the two engaged in sharing a pinky-finger grip.  Like it was a pinky-swear or pledge of sisterhood friendship or something.

"Thanks."

"Thank you.  Now...let's see about getting you trained in the art of deciphering hidden meaning behind lyrics."

## Sub-Entry 324:  "Last of the Taurus Trio Birthdays.  Lupe's Celebration is Minty Fresh":

Out of all of the Taurus Trio, Lupe was the one whose birthday was always the most low-key.  She kept her carbon footprint small and modest.

Sometimes even saying that it was okay if we didn't really celebrate at all.  She'd just be okay with an acknowledgement of her day of birth and a pleasant smile.  That would be all she asked for.  Though...a bit of something minty or mint-chocolate was often nice.

But we always went out of our way to do at least a little better.

She earned it.  Just by being her.

No one as softspoken and humble as her in our whole town.

"I'm happy you wanted to spend the day here, Napstablook.  You'll find it's quite peaceful any day of the year.

"ohhhh.  thank you so much, miss lupe."  And the ghost lay down in the grass and enjoyed his practice of feeling like trash.

It looked so relaxing, Lupe decided to join him.

"......"  Flowey watched from where he had burrowed up.

There was no material there for him to work with.   No one was saying anything, no one was bothering anybody.  It was just too much effort just to start something for no payoff.

He narrowed his gaze and grimaced.

Napstablook was too easy a target.  Besides he didn't want to incur his cousin's wrath.  And Lupe was...well...too pacifist to give any sort of retaliation for mischief.

Besides...she was...good to him.  That...counted for something, right?

"Grrrrrr..."  Flowey kept his voice low.  He was arguing with himself internally.  Stay quiet and bored or act up and get scolded?  Really...really...tough...choice.  End sarcasm.

Yet, by the same logic it was too much effort to do something...nice for her if he couldn't feel any satisfaction in how happy it would make her.  He still couldn't feel anything.

That's what he kept saying.

"happy birthday, miss lupe."

"Oh, thank you, Napstablook.  You remembered."

"can i ask you a question?"

"You may."

"how do you feel about ghosts?  we're not alive anymore so...we don't technically count as life but..."

"My friend, I honor the spirts of past.  Just because life ends doesn't mean the cycle is broken.  You are proof that there is an afterlife.  I have to respect what is no longer living as much as I respect what still is.  Your cousin, Mettaton is proof that ghosts can become corporeal.  And maybe there is truth to reincarnation.  So...all things that are alive and were once alive are friends to a druid."

"ohhhh.  that's nice"

A bit more of cloud-gazing and feeling like trash...still sounds wrong saying that.

"Well.  I must not keep the others waiting.  I know they are willing to keep this day as low-key and calming as possible.  But it would behoof me to reward them in return for the time they took out of their lives to arrange a proper birthday cake and ice cream and some light celebration."

"to rockafire pizzeria?"

"Absolutely."

And Lupe accessed her falcon spirit meld.

"Watch the place while I am gone, Shi-Shi."

The old lion open and eye.

As if on cue, help arrived in the form of the tigers that Lupe still kept--Suma and Tora.  Brother and sister, though one was a white tiger and the other a Sumatran.  I wonder how that sibling thing worked or if they were adopted into each other's brother-sister relationship?

Ah well.

"To the square."

Napstablook decided to take the short way there and disappeared; moving through the Ethereal Plane, I suppose.

I guess as a ghost, only he'd know for sure.  But really, I should know this after all the time I invested with my New York mentors.

And Lupe took flight, flanked by her swiftly-running tiger siblings.

It had been so long that by now most of the town were comfortable around Lupe's big cats and other wild animals.  As long as she was around them, no one had any need to worry about their intentions.  I guess a druid is a natural pacifier for wild beasts.

There were a few stops along the way; mostly to assist with animal-related problems and issues.

Lupe couldn't turn away from even the smallest of living creature.

"Thank-you!"  The child waved cradling the kitten that was previously stuck up a tree.

Indeed, even one of the most common rescue cliches was bound to happen sooner or later.  Only thing missing was the kid asking if Lupe was an angel.  I mean...she did have the wings even though the were just spectral.

Eventually...

"Here we are."

It was post lunch-rush and plenty of buffer to clean up and square away after the busy hours.

Just the perfect time for a private celebration.

Just us UCIAT, both divisions; Miranda and Undertale, were in attendance.

"Happy birthday, Lupe."  Bunnie bowed.

"Make a wish."  Sally presented the mint chocolate-chip cake.  Pale aqua green in color.  Almost like a toothpaste color.

"It is, my friend.  And I shall."

Lupe took a moment to blow out the single candle on the cake.  Hybrids almost never put the same number of candles on a birthday cake as one's age.  If that were the case the older of the zoanthro sapien race would probably burn down the building or at least set off the fire alarm.

"There was some debate on what to give Mother Nature's humble servant so..."  I started.

"Well the consensus was to leave it up to you to decide but I didn't want to just have no tangible gift to give.  Well..."

Bunnie wheeled it in the doorway.

"Another sapling for the nature preserve a good placeholder?"

Lupe smiled brightly.

"Actually...this is just want I wanted.  Thank you all."

"We'll be around to help you plant it, my friend."  Bunnie gave a simple bow.

"And I appreciate it very much."

"Beyond that...the rest of the day is yours.  Consider yourself reprieved from active duty for today."

Lupe smiled brightly.

"I will make the most of it, my friends."

Later that day...

"What a wonderful celebration, yes?"

Her tigers purred a little and nuzzled against her leg.  She petted them in response.

"Do enjoy your own time, my friends.  You've earned it."

And the tigers wandered off.  Lupe bowed her head for a moment then headed to the office of her nature center.

"Hmm?"  She noticed it at her desk.

A crudely drawn crayon art of her and a...little yellow flower?

Lupe covered her mouth for a moment.

"Flowey..."

She smiled and hugged the drawing to her chest for a moment.

"Thank you."

Outside the office.

"..."  Flowey looked up at the window.

"Happy birthday...Lupe."

And then he pulled himself underground.

## Sub-Entry 325: "Mother's Day Overdrive!"

Toriel's favorite day.  And one that Callista loves as much for the same reasons.

Mr. Lawrence Tureaud put it best, reminding that when it comes to Mother, there no other.  Pity the fool that doesn't get that.

"Oh my.  Must not forget this."  Toriel stopped a moment to put on her magic monitoring watch.

Even though she was a Dreemurr and possessed some of the most powerful magic in Undertale, it wasn't limitless on our world.

Anyone could use up their magic if they stayed on VGM-098 long enough and partook in enough food and drink and breathed enough air and such.

And to be perfectly blunt...there was no way to know if the rate the exchange of magic and matter was as consistent as it was for Azzy.

"Oh my!"  Toriel was of course, first greeted and treated at her school on Undertale.

And there was no shortage of mother's day cards for the teacher.

It was touching, indeed.  But I think Toriel was really anticipating something special from Asriel, Frisk, and Chara.

Nevertheless, we invited her on over to Miranda City to continue her special day and share it with the other mothers in town.

"Thank you for escorting me to town.  You are an absolute angel."

"Well...yes.  I am."  Pit blinked at the obviousness.  All this time and he still wasn't used to that word being used as a metaphor.

"And so modest!"

"...modest?"  Pit cocked his head, not sure about the implication.  He rubbed the back of his head.

There were times when Pit was at his most Starfire/Koriand'r.  And this was definitely one of them.

"I am only doing my duty, your ladyship."

"Oh you mustn't be so formal!  I am no longer this former kingdom's queen.  I'm just a silly old woman who worries too much and teaches classes of young minds at a school."

"That in itself is incredibly noble!  The scribes of the Hall of Elder Gods insist that knowledge is paramount to both god and man!"

"It feels as if you are overselling it, my child.  But you are right.  Education is vital to growing youth."

Pit blinked a few times.

"I know what I must look like but...I may actually be far older than you by a wide margin.  That is...the nature of celestials.  Though in all fairness...I am a youth by god and goddess standards."

"Oh, I see."  Toriel tried not to smirk.  It would be rude of her to make light of something she didn't quite understand.

"And yet...I feel I have been a youth for far longer than my time should have allowed.  And that may be many generations of your own time."

"Well do not write off my species so quickly.  Remember, on Undertale there were two dominant races.  Humans and Monsters.  And Monsters could be nigh-immortal given the right conditions.  Had I never had a family of my own...I would live forever.  But...I wanted so much to be a mother.  As you can see, being mother to Asriel...Chara...and Frisk takes its toll.  I no doubt show the signs of aging.  It is our nature.  When we give up a significant portion of our own magical life force to allow our offspring to grow and mature, it means we are no longer protected from the cruel nature of time.

It's different for humans, who do not have the high level of magic we do.  The exception being wizards, warlocks, witches, sorcerers, and necromancers.  And the like."

"Yes...so the Elder Gods have said."  Pit pondered.  "I just didn't know that applied so strongly outside of my own realm.  Not a lot of...magic mortals.  But gods and goddesses and demigods...magic is like breathing.  Or so I'm told."

Once in town...

"Is it a fair question to ask about your wings?"

"I'm...assuming that someone mentioned my...handicap in my own realm?"

"Oh!  I am sorry.  I did not know it was a sensitive issue."

"It's...okay.  It is...a soft spot but...it does not matter so much on this plane of existence.  The nature of this world allows my undersized wings to operate without Lady Palutena's Power of Flight."

"Undersized?  Are these not the standard for angels?"

"Angel wings get...noticeably larger than this.  And...obviously more powerful.  The only time I've ever really had truly unbound flight power is with a divine artifact--one of three--called the Pegasus Wings.  With them, I have the combined flying speed, prowess and capacity of the entire legion of Palutena's Army of Light--colloquially known as the Icarus Army.

I still am unclear about the name...the story I've been told is...rather unnerving."

"Oh?"

"An angel's wings are their life blood.  Without them we...expire."  Pit looked down, recalling what happened when he overused the Power of Flight and sacrificed his to save his doppelganger, Dark Pit.  It took the power of the Rewind Spring to bring his charred husks back to life.

"Oh my.  I am sorry."

"Don't be.  Most non-immortals don't know the nature of celestials and our strengths and weaknesses."

"As a Monster, I understand vulnerabilities.  Our souls are...not as powerful as the humans so...we break easier.  We...don't even leave what humans call a "corpse" behind.  We...just turn to dust and that dust spreads onto our favorite thing in life.  For Asriel...well...my timeline's Asriel, it was the Golden Flowers."

Pit thought about Flowey for a moment.

"I see."

"Oh!  It seems we've arrived."

And there they were at the O'Conner residence.

A knock at the door and Callista was quick to answer.

"Toriel!  Thanks so much for coming to our humble abode."

"The thanks are mine for your invitation.  I am blessed to be here in the house that Asriel grew up."

"He had been a god-send for those decades with us."

"And he has brought so much warmth back into my life after I'd thought we'd lost him forever."

"I believe as mothers, the two of us have eternal gratitude for the one who made it all possible."

"I couldn't agree more, Toriel."  Callista looked off toward the direction of the UCIAT HQ building/lab.

"The Commander...Volt.  He is truly the embodiment of the Arcade Legacy.  No orphan child left behind."

"Truly a more noble soul has not walked this world or any other."

A moment of silence.

"Oh!  Were are my manners.  Come inside!  Please!"

"I accept your hospitality, my friend."

"Tea?"

"I would be delighted."

By this point given the whole "overdrive" thing in the title of this entry, there's not much particularly fast about this but y'know...

Sometimes you just got to wait for relevancy to present itself--

\*ZOOOOOOOOOOOM\*

"Hey."

"Sally!"  Lupe opened the gates to Gaia's Navel Nature Preserve.  "You're just in time for us to open up."

"I thought I'd drop on by to visit the servent of the greatest mother of all.  Cool."

Lupe smiled.

"Mother Nature is a hard act to follow.  But I appreciate the flatter, my friend."

"You're looking extra chipper since your birthday.  I like it.  You need to be more cheerful.  Mother Nature's servent has an ultra-magnum smile, y'know?"

"You honor me, Sally.  I'll strongly take it under advisement."

"That's not a no."

"Yes.  That is most certainly not a no."

And elsewhere...

Lisa was hard at work at her desk in the UCIAT Building offices when...

"Hmm?"

Lisa blinked until her eyes came in focus with the two tickets dangled before her eyes.

"Are those...?"

"Ticket's to Weird Al's  "The Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour"?  Of course.  Wanna make it a date night, mom?  I'm sure the kids will be fine on their own."

Penny crossed her arms and grinned.

"They arranged this, didn't they?"

"They did."

"You know, Neil-kun.  It's a deal."

"Oooh.  Honorifics...you've been hanging around Bunnie, haven't you?"

"I was worried it would remind you of...you know."

"Oh.  Yeah.  Her.  That.  Universal City.  That...that was my old life.  My previous reboot.  It...still confounds me how you're so mellow about it."

"Don't be bent out of shape.  What other soul mate would be this accepting and supportive of what was beyond both our controls?  What was a literal lifetime ago?"

"You...still haven't explained how you're aware of your...past iteration.  When I think about it...when I think about the day that Adonis turned and annihilated Universal City...where's the overlap of that UltraVerse with this one?  It's almost like one clear acetate animation cell was hot glued to a completely different one.  Like the low-tech, poor man's solution to photoshop.  But with timelines."

"I am more than certain Fate wants us to remain in confusion about the how and why.  And maybe Destiny just wants us to forget the before-times and just live in the now."

"Yeah...no one can gloss over plot holes and things that don't add up like they can.  Maybe there's no way to explain how I transitioned from then to now.  My whole life has been told out of order since that White Knight contract was forged."

"But as the Time Traver's wife, I can attest it's been a much more fun ride than it probably would have been had you never found the Quasar Pyramid."

"No arguments there."

"So...I guess this counts as my Mother's Day present?"

"Let's let it be.  The girls all worked so hard to make this our day together..."Mom"."

"Well then, "Dad"...I guess we're going to see the Prince of Parody."

And, in South Plumbington.

Rotor set the bouquet of roses down before the headstone.

"Hey.  Bow your head.  We're in mom's presence, Skeeter."

"Sorry, bro."

A long period of silence before Rotor put his cap back on.

"Good talk, mom."

"Yeah.  Me too."

"Let's head back home to Miranda."

"I hear that."

And...

"Oh, Jon..."

"Elektra?"

Elektra placed a hand on her belly.

A couple moments later, Jon's eyes widened...before he pointed to himself...then to her.

Elektra nodded.

And thus...came the tears and Jon was blubbering like a baby before bear-hugging his wife.

"I'm going to be...!"

"You sure are."

"But is he...or she...going to be...?"

"Probably.  We'll raise them right and teach them when it's appropriate to...wear the hair down, if you know what I mean?"

Jon nodded.

"Promise me you're not going to re-enact that video Vi showed you at movie night.  "The Big Dad Wolf"?"

"Ugh...I'm still not speaking to her."

"Now now...it wasn't even an offensive portrayal of a werewolf.  Just a dad having a panic attack and not controlling his transformation.  He just happened to be in the hospital and freaking out over his wife about to become a mother.

Wouldn't you say that's relevant now?"

"It's the principle of the matter."

"Sooner or later, my big Jon-Jon...you're going to have to take some pride in being a lycanthrope."

"It's not easy after all I've been through as one of the dark-blooded ones."

"Just because Felicia dropped into your life out of nowhere doesn't mean it's suddenly going to bring back all your old acquaintances to the same place."

"Acquaintances?  Demitri tried to recruit me.  I've still got unresolved issues with Morrigan.  I have to hold my ears every time Lord Raptor tunes up his guitar...never heard someone butcher the instrument as bad as him...and I still have unresolved issues with Anakaris turning me into a dachshund with that stupid curse for a bit!"

"I heard he also has a curse that can give you a gender-bender..."  Elektra said slyly.

"Oh don't take it there...it's bad enough Violet found out.  And she won't stop hounding me over it...pun intended.   It really sets me off when she calls me "Joan Talbain" or something like that."

"She just wanted to see a female you in bare feet."  Elektra rolled her eyes.

"Can we not talk about this, love?  It's old times I don't want to re-live."

"Come on.  Not all of the Darkstalkers are that bad.  You're still friends with Victor and Sasquatch.  And--"

"Rikuo is kind of an a-hole."

"But not a total di--"

"Elektra."  Jon scolded.

"Right, right."

"I dare say...you're unusually in a mood more like your mother's.  Usually you're snippier and more cross than this."

"Only when it comes to dad ending up in the emergency room because he ignored my doctor's advice."

"Right.  An immortal is going to worry about his heath."

"And that in itself is frustrating.  He still puts himself into comas and comes back so injured it takes days for him to completely regenerate."

"I think those days are past.  Now.  Let's change the subject.  Like...what we're going to name--"

"There will be plenty of time for that, dear."

"Yeah.  Plenty."

And it was like this all over town.

From Verlaine actually having a civil moment with Valerie while also being there for Marcel...

To Brooke having a moment with her estranged daughter, Ivy.

And so on.

Mother's Day was everywhere and in full swing.

So.

Like Mr. T said.  Be good to your mother.  There is no other.

I pity the fool that doesn't.

## Sub-Entry 326: "Shapeshifter Showdown":

I never should have let it cross my mind.  Now we have to deal with this crossover.

I blame myself.

On one hand we hadn't heard from Edge City since Asriel was at the end of his rope because of Adonis had done to us; mostly him.

On the other hand I didn't think old black-and-white pin-stripes would have any reason to set floating foot out of the Neitherworld, much less his world entirely.

And to a lesser extent and a far lesser...threat...than these two...I didn't really see any reason to put a watch on the Douglass Family, much less track searches on Dexter's computer...even though he STILL had that Pinnacle Chip installed...

Actually, now that I think about it, the third one of them was more of a spectator than anything else.  But my point about the first two stands!

I watched as the green-faced, yellow zoot-suited superhero rolled in the street laughing and pointing at who he just pranked.

"I'M GONNA PULVERIZE THAT GUY!"

The Ghost With the Most rose from where he had ben pancaked.

"Iiiiiiiiiit's...SHOE TIME!"  And morph he did and down came the giant stomp.

A stomp that managed to crater the pavement and flatten the Mask.

"It's like that Fox Kids promo suddenly came to life.  Or was it Cartoon Network?"

I scratched my head, trying to remember who had what and when...while not covering up that I was very much breaking the fourth wall.

"Hey.  Aren't you going to do something?"  Chara looked over her shoulder at Freakazoid.

"Mmm...nah.  Looks like too much work."

"But aren't you a superhero?"  Frisk asked.

"Well.  Yeah.  Check the pajama suit and the wacky personality."  F.Z. posed.

"So...shouldn't you do something?"

"Yeah...I should.  But...they just took their battle into the sewers.  I'm not going down there.  They smell like poo gas."

"You know he has a point, Frisk."  Chara mused.

"Yeah but...who's going to do something about all this damage to town."

Hard to believe this all started when Al Dente accidentally spoke B.J.'s name three times in a row.  How he managed that I still don't understand.

Well, that was fine an dandy and a fun time for us all during the time Dente got his.

"Hey!  Where you going, round boy!  We're gonna have some laughs! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!"

But then, across the street, visiting to take care of some financial account issues.

"Ohh...I shouldn't be out here!  It's a long way from End City.  All these weird creatures and monsters walking around with humans?  I just can't process this, Milo!"

The dog yipped in response.

\*CRASH\*

It was about that time Beetlejuice's antics were getting a little out of hand but nothing to write home about.

At least until an accidental pun involving fire had ignited a car's gas tank and sent it flying into the air and crashing down.

"Whoah.  Really gotta watch the spicy food.  It gives me gas."

Stanley went flying and landed in a sprawl, the Mask of Loki scattering out of his jacket's breast pocket and across the street.

"Oh no!  I knew it was a bad idea to bring th--!"  He dove for it, trying to just snatch it up but he ended up tripping and landing face first--

Milo whined and covered his eyes with his paws as the green lightning wrapped tornado spun all over the streets, pinballing between street lamps before finally landing in a jaunty pose.

"SSSSSSSSSSSSMOKINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

Uh-oh.

"I'm baaaaack!  All dressed up in a new city!  I hope they have a Coco Bongo!  Cause I'm ready to PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG!"

"Hey.  What are YOU supposed to be?"

"I'm sorry...are you addressing marvelous moi?"

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Noooooooooooo, I'm addressing the other green-faced, guy dressed as the 1970's looking like a big dork!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...is that how it's gonna be.  I'm guessing they're aren't many reflective surfaces where you come from.  So...you walk off the set of one of Burton's movies?"

"Awww.  You flatter me."

"Nooooo...I make you FLATTER!"  The Mask pulled out a giant cartoon mallet and--

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!

Do I really need to say 'that escalated'.

And that brings us back to now.

Where the destruction just snowballed because these two idiots couldn't stop one-upping each other.

"...and you're like my favorite dessert!  A. "bunt cake!"  And Beetlejuice transformed into a possessed baseball bat right as the Mask fireballed toward him...and ended up ricocheting into a building.

"GAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!"  Beetlejuice morphed back and pointed while hovering on his back in midair.

But no sooner had he gotten the upper hand when the Mask popped back up in professional golfer attire and the mother of all nine irons.

"Ah ah ha!  Too may sweets are bad for a growing athlete.  You need more IRON in your diet!"

And the B.J. was sent flying, trailing a path of busted yellow teeth.

As soon as he landed.

"Yeah?  FANGS...FOR NOTHING!" He yelled before morphing into a pair of dentures with vampire fangs and launched himself, snapping all the way.

The Mask's eyes bugged out at least a foot and half while all his limbs stretched in every direction at once.

And CHOMP.   I don't need to explain that one, do I?

"This is not a drill...BUT THIS IS!!!"

And then the most horrible whining, whirling before the Mask tunneled a hole straight through Beetle-teeth, emerging in construction worker gear and wielding a jackhammer with a drill in place of the cutting driver.

"You know as much as I appreciate all the word play and puns?  We really gotta diffuse this.  And quick."  Asriel looked at me, with a huge anime sweat drop.

"I second.  Preferably before they destroy something that'll strain our relationships with our friends.  I don't want to be in debt to Chameleon and Ripper can attest being chased by a meat-cleaver wielding Hestia is not fun."

"Skii ya later!"

Beetlejuice taunted as the Mask found himself in a belly flop slippery-slide up and down and all around an obstacle course made of ice as it jutted from evil Snowman Beetlejuice's hands.

"They're just doling out bad puns and beating each other up.  Why's this concern us--"  Chara started before.

"This looks like a job for...BI-CLOPS!"

Insert familiar X-Men parody.  And yes he was wearing two ruby visors; one above the other.

Oh yeah.

And twin laser beams--

"Duck!"

"Duck?  I thought we were having fried chi--"  M.K said as he exited Hestia's, wondering what the hold up was.

"GAAAH!"  He ducked in time the lasers grazed him and fortunately missed Hestia's place...but it continued on toward the gasoline station further down the square.

"This is an overused cliche, isn't it?"

"Oh you better believe it, Frisk."  Chara wrinkled her snoot.

"Get down!"

"And cover your ears--"

\* KA-BOOOOOOOOOOM \*

"I think Brooke knows by now..."  I muttered as I picked myself up from the heap I landed in.

"Let's get this contained and fast."  Azzy hopped on the NXS board to chase after them.

"Hopefully Beetlejuice won't lose his temper enough to shift into scary mode.  I don't think anyone wants to see his Double Lung-Tosser."

"Ewww."  Frisk cringed.

"I'll try to get hold of Lydia."  Asriel made the call as Frisk and Chara and M.K. caught up to him.

"I'd love to know how Al Dente did something as stupid as summoning Beetlejuice."

"Nevermind that.  Why is Stanley Ipkiss on our world!?" I managed to catch up to the group as well.

"It typically tends to be the usual reason.  Banking business or..."

"Or?"  M.K. prompted.

"Or the Mask really has a craving to find a night club on our world as swingin' as the Coco Bongo."  Asriel shrugged.

"Duck!"  Frisk pulled Asriel down as Beetlejuice soared overhead in the form of a demonic green duck, with the Mask trying to pry open the fang-filled bill from the inside.

"Wow, that pun really wrote itself."  Chara stuck her tongue out.

"Okay, I made the call.  But it's going to be some time before Lydia can accompany us.  She's...kind of tied up at an event at the library.  And shouting the B-word three times in succession is kind of not an option."  Asriel put his cell away.

"What do we do until then?"  Frisk asked.

That was right about the time a police cruiser pulled up and Officer Mike Cosgrove leaned out the window.

"Hey.  Freakazoid and I are on our way to a Jelly and Jam-bory.  Wanna come?"

Freakazoid climbed over and leaned out the window to wave hi.

"You're asking at a time like--"  Chara started before Asriel interrupted with bright eyes and wagging tail.

"DO I!?!"  Asriel got up, yanked open the back door and dove in.

"Wait for me!"  Frisk followed.

"Dude!  Cop car ride!  And I didn't even get busted for anything!"

I looked at Chara who deadpanned at me.

I just shrugged and arc-ed over and landed on top of the car in a surfing squat, before slapping the roof a few times.

"I can't wait to get in on that blueberry action!"

"Grape for me!"

"Oh tell me they have strawberry!"

"You know what would be cool?  If they could make a jelly out of butterscotch-cinnamon!"

And off sped the car, leaving Chara standing there gaping.

"Am I the only one with an attention span!?"

Chara crossed her arms and huffed.

"I'm not digging my Zanpakutou out for something this stupid."  Chara smoldered.

That's when she saw him out of the corner of her eye just standing there.

"You!?"

Chara whirled at the sight of Sans sipping on a bottle of ketchup.

"Hey, brat.  Sup?"

"I'll tell you what's "sup".  The town's being wrecked by shapeshifters!  And I can't believe I'M having to be the responsible one."

"Gee.  That sucks."  \*sip\*

"Well!  You're an adult!  DO SOMETHING!"

Sans  rubbed his jawbone for a minute then took a marker and scribbled on a sign and held it up.

"SOMETHING."

Chara scoffed exasperated.

"That's not what I meant."

"Someone's in a choosey mood today."

"All those resets I went up against those Gaster Blasters and that teleportation and I can't even get you to put down a bottle of ketchup long enough to play hero for just two seconds."

"Ehh.  What'd-ya gonna do?"

"Use your damn magic, bonehead!"

"Language."

Chara gave a long, exasperated grunt in reply.

"Great.  I have to stand here and watch a dead guy and a living cartoon smack each other around while seeing how long they can stretch a pun war!"

"Sounds like you're getting...riddled with--"

"Don't.  You.  Start."  Chara cut him off.

"...IT'S WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!!!"  and Beetlejuice soon found himself buried under a mound of triple-scoop chocolate chip and the Mask looked on in his ice cream truck vender outfit.

"If there's anything I can't stand it's a soda jerker!"

B.J.'s scowling eyes peeked out of the goopy mess.

"So have some soda, jerk!"  The ghost got himself free and morphed into a giant floating seltzer bottle, spraying the Mask across the square and through a billboard.

"Heheheheh.  Classic."  Sans kicked back and rested his skull in his interlocked bony hands, elbows outward.

"That?  That's considered classic!?"  Chara protested.

Though in all fairness the two of them were mostly using slapstick gags and puns against each other.

If I had still been there I might have taken the time to worry that B.J. might use some of his scarier, grosser transformations.

I don't think anyone would want to be there to see his Double Lung-Tosser.

"GAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!"  B.J. had taken on the form of the circus carnival abomination he'd turned into back in his original misadventure when trying to marry into a permanent location among the living world.  Which...was something I glossed over and never really confronted Lydia about.

Another plot hole as to why they'd gone from a forced marriage to besties out of nowhere, courtesy of Madam Fate and Lady Destiny.

The Mask was about to make his counterattack when right at that moment who should walk out of her restaurant but Hestia.

Immediately, if not sooner, the Mask got distracted by her...ahem...buxom figure; quickly shapeshifting his head into a howling, stark-raving mad with lust cartoon wolf who proceeded to practically touch his bulging cartoon eyes to......yeah, I don't think I should describe any further.  This is a family show, right?  Eheheheh...nobody buying that, huh?

"Ugh...really?"  Chara wrinkled her nose.

"Hey!  Eyes on the prize, Baldy McGreenSkin!  Yo!  \*whistles\*  What am I invisible to you!  Get back  here and get the pounding I owe you!"

B.J.'s temper flared at being spited.

"If it's going to be like that...!"  his arm telescoped alllllll the way over and grabbed the Mask underneath the wolf nose, sticking his fingers up his nostrils...

"Hey!  Pick your own no--"

And like that B.J. jerked back hard and in the process tore the mask off...well...the Mask, transforming him back into Stanley.

"Oh no!  Not again!" Stanley clutched his uncovered face.

"Wellllll...lookie, lookie, I'm playing crook-ie!"  The Juice had quick changed into fishing gear and reeled the wooden mask of Loki in on the oversized hook.

"Thanks for playing, but in this game there's a winner and there's a LOSER!!!"

That was right about the time a taxi cab suddenly screeched to a stop and out came.

"Diiiiiid somebody say uh....looooo-hooo...sa-herrrrrrrrrrr!?"

"Oh no...not him again..."  Stanley whined covering his head.

"Oh yes!  Somebody call a...Pet Detective!?"

This was getting convoluted.

"What are you doing here, Ace!?"

"Welllllllllllllll...funny you should mention it.  \*deep, exaggerated breath\*..."

And Ace went into a tirade about the rare pigeon he's been spending several episodes.........wait, episodes?  He's not supposed to break the fourth wall!  What the heck, Madam Fate!?

Ugh.  Nevermind.

"...and that's what brings me here."  He finished, with the last gasps of breath, having not even taken a single one in his entire lengthy explanation.

He turned toward a charging Beetlejuice, now morphing into a monstrous  demon bull, keeping its tail securely wrapped around the Mask of Loki.

"There's something you don't see every day."  Ace reached up and took off his sunglasses.

With a steam locomotive whistle from Gehenna itself B.J. charged full speed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  Ace screamed with exaggerated rubbery face.

He and Stanley dove in opposite directions as B.J.'s horns dug into the ground for a deadlift and tore up the pavement.

Stanley was on his feet first and offered a hand up to Ace.

"...spank you."  Ace wrinkled his nose and dusted himself up.

With all this chaos going on, it couldn't possibly get any--

"What's that!?"  Stanley noticed the portal in the sky and falling out of it was...

"MILO!?"

The little puppy dog flailed before landing right on B.J.'s tail.  He immediately went for the Mask, biting onto it and trying to yank it free.

"Good boy, Milo!  Hurry and bring it to me!"

"What's the big idea!  Hey!  You!  Fido!  Get off of there!"

And pop!  Like that Milo managed to scamper down with mask in mouth.

"Ahhh no you don't!

And the next thing Milo knew he was pressed against the street by a giant paw...a giant ugly purple, black-stripped cat paw.

"Mess with me and you cross a...fe-line!"  Beetlejuice joked as his mutant Cheshire cat grin bore down on the puppy.

"MILO!!!"

In the process the mask skittered across the ground and landed on a wooden plank covering some sidewalk construction.

"Got to get to the Mask!"  Stanley ran toward it.

"Don't skip out on me!  We're gonna have a...ball!  A HAIRBALL!"

And coughed up went the nasty mass of unspeakable stomach contents and hair.

"Whoaah!"  Stanley flailed as he lost his balance on the plank just as a street lamp, hanging by its wires, fell off and landed on the plank, launching the mask in the opposite direction.

"Come to papa Beetlejuice!  GAHAHAHAH!"  He outstretched his other cat paw to get it.  But took his eyes off Milo who sank his fangs into the paw holding him down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

By chance instead of grabbing it, B.J. swiped it, batting away and over Stanley's head.

"No!!!"

It sailed past, tumbling end over end until it landed--

"Oh no...."  Stanley cringed as Ace was trying to push himself up from where he landed in a sprawl.

"Tell me the Mask did not just land on his--"  Chara's eyebrow twitched.

"Excuse me!  But I'd like to arse...you a few questions!"

"Who said that!?"  Beetlejuice looked around.

"You know I feel kind of funny on my--"  He looked around just as his own animated RUMP looked him in the eyes and said.

"Let's tag team this bum, partner!  You take the front...and I'll hold up...the reeeear!"

"His...butt...became...the Mask!?"

"Eheheh...this is going to sound weird but...it kind of happened before."

Chara just lowered her eyebrows and stared a blank stare.

"I actually believe you."  She smoldered.

"Uh...who are you again?"

"Chara Dreemurr, Soul Reaper."

"Soul, what now?"

"Nevermind...."  Chara fished out her Soul Candy dispense.  "I should have done this to begin with...!"

All the while a little albino spider-monkey watched, perched on a mailbox, while snacking on a bucket of popcorn.

"Spiiiiiiiiiiike!"  Ace flailed as his own animated rump dragged him all over the battlefield as B.J. went through transformation after transformation trying to smash him down or slime him or do whatever it took to get this new intruder out of his hair.

\*CRASH\*

Chara sighed and popped the candy, her gigai and soul tearing away from one another.

"You keep this wormser out of trouble.  Capiche."

"Ehhhh!  Fuggedaboutit!"

"Great.  I still got the wise guy persona soul candy..."  Chara growled, drawing her Zanpakutou.

"BAN...KAI!!!"  She cried moments before her attack sliced another nasty hairball in half.

"This is by far the craziest day I've walked into to, Milo."  Stanley cradled Milo.

"Excuse-se moi!  But could you be telling me where to find--"

"Huh?"  Stanley looked up to see the skeleton with the thin, curled moustache and the French beret cap.

"Bonjour!  I am Jacques LaLean.  I am 'ow you say...looking for zee friend of mine.  Beeyetlejuice?"

"If you mean that guy--"  Stanley started before it sunk in he was talking to a skeleton."

"What the...!!!"  His jaw dropped.

At that, Milo started barking.

"Oh no!  Zee canine fiend!  Pardon, monsieur but this is to be my Waterloo!  Au revoir!!!"  Jacques ran for the hills as Milo chased after him.

"AHHH!  PLEASE BE TO GETTING AWAAAAY!"  He flew by a startled Antoine.

"We are still on for zee exercise routine, no?"

"GAAAAAH!!!"

"I say, Antoine, my friend.  Wasn't that our good friend and charming skeleton, Mr. LaLean?  From the Neitherworld?"

"Oui.  Oui.  He was in quite zee hurry, it would seem."

And then there was a crash followed by the clinking of bones dropping to the ground.

"Ahh!  Leave my femur alone you mangy--!  Sacre discriminacion!!!  Must I suffer for being a humble skeleton!  Why is it always the doggies!?"

"Oh no!  Our friend has fallen down!  He has gone all to pieces!"  Papyrus placed his gloved hands on his cheekbones in horror.

"Fear not!  The Great Papyrus will assist you!  Nyeheheheh!"

"To zee rescue!"  Antoine drew his rapier and thrust forward.

All the while everyone else was in a battle royal.

"Get OFF OF HIM!"  Chara growled, grabbing two fist-fulls of Beetlejuice's greasy hair and yanking.

"YEEEEOWCH!!!  Not my split ends!!!"

And like that Beej didn't see the giant inflatable green airbag that was Ace Ventura's Mask-wearing rump slam into him.

"OOOOF!"

Milo springboarded off Ace's head and back into Stanley's arms.

"Not now, Milo!  I've got to get the Mask back.  And...ohhhhhh...I'm not looking forward to how I'm going to do it."  He cringed as he grabbed onto Ace's bottom and pulled.

"Hey now...shouldn't we...have a date before you touch the merchandise?"

"Not...now...Ace!!"  Stanley grunted.

"I'm all for a little touchy-feely but this is just a step above Lois Einhorn."

Oh god...referencing Ray Finkle's new gender-bent identity from the Snowflake case?

"I don't like this any more than you!  Now...let...GO!!!"

\*pop\*

"Free at last!  Free at last.  Ohhhh my bum was getting sooo uppity.  Spank you, Stan.  Spank you."

"Don't..mention it.  Really.  Please don't."

Stan cringed a moment, looking at the mask before putting it on.

And there went the green lightning-filled tornado.

"I'm baaack.  But fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirst...!"  He reached out and pulled the "camera".....wait...CAMERA!?!  ...right...the uh...camera up to his face before breaking the fourth wall.

"Now I do hate reusing old jokes and such, ladies and germs.  I mean what are you gonna do?  Chalk it up to lazy writing.  As if!  It's lazier if I just improve it out and we fix it in post.  But, I digress and reiterate...ahem...but fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirst.... I DO mean "butt" first..."

The Mask let the "camera" snap back into position before screaming and squealing in anguish and generating a basin sink out of nowhere and plunging his whole face in and started scrubbing with soap and water.

"I know where it's been I know where it's been I know where it's beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!!"  \*sobbing\*

Spike and Chara looked at each other.  Spike just shrugged then offered her some of his popcorn.

"Why not."  She smoldered.

And the battle resumed with Beetlejuice and the Mask going full tilt and Chara getting in the middle of it.

"And now to put you out of your misery, PERMANANTLY!!!"  Beetlejuice roared as he turned into a demonic fire-spewing industrial blast furnace....before morphing into the even bigger Double Lung-Tosser form.

"Woooo-weee!  That's a some nasty halitosis!"  The Mask's green flesh melted off his oversized skull before, the puddled splashed its way up his person and back onto its face, the eyes popping back out one by one as his tongue waggled around in a ghastly but goofy scream.

"Say goodnight--"

"Hey."

All of a sudden the action suddenly stopped and everyone froze in place as we saw the form of Mike Cosgrove out of his police cruiser.

He pointed at everyone and simple said.  "Cut it out."

"Yes, sir..."  The Mask hung his head sheepishly.

"Yeah...uh...sorry about that."  Beetlejuice looked just as shamed.

"Hi, Chara!  I saved you some chocolate spread from the fair!"  Asriel held up the jar.

"It's the least you can do to make up for ditching me, Azzy!"  Chara tightened her fists, dropping her arms completely flat against her sides, shoulders down, and angry face in a huffing scowl.

"Man I wish you had been there!"  Freakazoid practically floated in place.  "There were carnival rides, and face painting and a petting zoo."

The Mask suddenly zipped up beside Freakazoid, wrapping an arm around him. "Tellll me more."

"Ooh!  You're going to love it!"

"Say, have you ever been to the Coco Bongo..."

"Can't say I have.  Pretty sure Dexter Douglass would say now.  Nyeeeeeeeeeh."  Freakazoid crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out.

"Dexter who?"  the Mask replied.

"Exactly!"  Freakazoid immediately perked up.  "After you, my good man!"

The Mask let out a boisterous cackle.

"Was that an invitation?  Oooooooh somebody stop me!"

Milo yipped and followed his master and new friend out of...er...frame.

"Hey!  What am I supposed to do!?"  Beetlejuice protested.

That was about the time Lydia's image appeared as projected by Rachel "Raven" Roth.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos....!"

"Fun's over.  You're coming back home."

"Hey!  Lyds!  I can explain--"

"Beetlejuice!  Beetlejuice!  Beetlejuice!"

And in a POP and an implosion of bats and bugs, he was gone.

"Finally...that's over with."

"Mmm....you gotta get in on this jam-tasting.  It's to die for."

"Been there.  Done that, Arcade."  Chara pushed me away.

"Your loss."

"I mean the dying part, you know!"

I chuckled.

"You know I have a sudden urge to pop in on the Coco Bongo, Frisk.  I hear it's a Conga Line and Limbo Night double-special."

"Oooh.  With an invite like that who can say no."  Frisk planted a kiss on Azzy's lips.

"Sssssmokin."  He said simply afterward..

"Oh!  Hey!  You must be the help I hired on."  Lupe's voice broke the silence as Ace turned to see who was asking.

"Ace Ventura, Pet Detective at your service."

"Well, I do have kind of a case I'd like you to check in on.  I promise the pay will be fair."

"Of course, my half canine servant of mother nature.  I'll be with you juuuuust one second--"  Ace said as he snuck up on the rare pigeon and...

\*WHAM\*

"Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh..."  He chuckled as he shrugged, his target flying away.

Spike just facepalmed.

"That wrapped up rather well, huh?"  I gave a thumbs-up to Chara who rolled her eyes.

"Please be to speaking for yourself...."  Jacques smoldered as Antoine and Papyrus struggled to put his bones back together.

"You are a skeleton!  How can you not know how to put one back together!"

"Don't yell at me!  I've never been apart in many pieces!"

"Oh sacre bleu cheese..."  Antoine facepalmed.

"Like I said.  All's well that ends well."

"Ugh....let's just go.  I feel the need to tally some bananas."  Chara re-merged with her body, replacing the soul candy.

I shrugged and followed her back to headquarters.

## Sub-Entry 327: "Return to Duckburg":

"And here we are again, the big business bureau meeting one of its other chairmen for a discussion of how many more trillion we added to our net worth meeting."  I muttered as I peered out the window of Vi's very stretched limo.

"If this is what rich living is like, I want to change careers.  Hey, how do you become a professional 1%-er, Vi?"  Chara mused.

"Well.  That's easy.  You have to have...uhh...da MUNS."  Violet popped up from the hot tub...filled with cash instead of water.

"Oh.  There's always as a catch."

"So Duckburg this time?"

"Yeah, Scroogie was insistent."  Vi shrugged.  "Kind of disappointed Mr. and Mrs. Rich won't be attending.  But they're at least sending their son, Richie to attend."

"Richie Rich?"  Chara arched an eyebrow.  "Okay."  She just decided to accept it.

"So the question is...why did you drag us along?"  Bunnie narrowed her eyes.

"Hey don't forget, Gadget has a stake in this."

All eyes suddenly on Gadget...!?

"I get to visit Uncle Gyro!"

Of course.  Gyro was on-again-off-again back in McDuck's employ.  Every time he went Gadget would always end up missing her goose step-uncle.

You know I have to wonder who else was attending this overblown "Lifestyles of the Filthy Rich".

There's a reference, right there.

"Who the heck is "Bling-Bling Boy?"  I about did a spit-take.

"Oh.  That doofus that harasses the Test kid."

"Oh yeah.  I know Johnny Test's nemesis."

"Tell me someone didn't invite Princess Morbucks."  I facepalmed.  "Do you guys just let ANYBODY into these things?"

"What?  She's rich."  Vi mused.

"Yeah, but I'm sensing a pattern if you exclude Scrooge McDuck."

"Uh...we all have nice hair?"

"No, Vi.  How many of these invites are VILLAINS!?"

"Oh, they're not that bad.  And there aren't that many."

"VIOLET, YOU GOT C. MONTGOMERY BURNS INVITED!"

"Well...yeah?  What was I going to do?  Not...invite him?"

I facepalmed.

"And this guy...why?  Hasn't he been going broke since the 90's?"

"Yeah but did you see him shave Vince McMahon's head?"

"Vi.  Just no."

"You can relax.  He'll probably not even show up."

"Are there any GOOD GUYS ON THE LIST!?"  My eyebrow twitched.

"What's the problem?  Money is the universal language among our kind.  We'll keep the peace.  Promise."

"Actually, there are."  Asriel suddenly spoke up and showed the tablet.

"You know Mr. Bruce Wayne and Mr. Tony Stark, right?  They were with us during the final Crossover War penultimate battle."

"Let's...not spread their identities around, okay?"

"No one at the party has a clue who they really are.  Rabbit's honor."

"There's a riot."  I grumbled as Bunnie nodded, crossing her arms.

"Uh...I don't recognize this guy."  Asriel peeked over my shoulder.  "Who's Malcom Fitzcarraldo?"

"Oh no...that guy."  I rolled my eyes.  "Not the obsessive butterfly enthusiast."

"Wait...that's the Monarch!"  Asriel immediately recognized upon seeing the person's eyebrows in the photo.

"Which means if he attends, we're going to get that guy, too.  Thaddeus S. Venture."

"Wait. I thought Venture Industries was a failing--"

"Not since Jonas Venture Junior left his brother a 6 billion dollar business empire."  I crossed my arms.

"Well.  He's not a villain."

"But he's also a C-ranker super-scientist on our watch list for unethical experiments."

"Oh yeah I forgot about his cloning lab."  Violet suddenly turned dour.  "Great.  Now I got someone I hate on the list."

"Wow..." M.K. had been gawking at the sights through the window all this time and was now getting a look at the 3 cubic-acre money bin on the island not that far from Killmotor Hill.

"Work smarter and not harder and you too can have 3 cubic acres full of cash and coins."

"Wow, really Miss Violet?"

"No."

"Awww."

Frisk just frowned.  She hadn't said anything since this began.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. just... feeling out of place, Azzy."

"We all kind of do."  He comforted.

"Speak for yourself."  Chara held up a pair of diamonds over her eyes, giving a prismatic effect like she was cosplaying as a multi-eyed insect.

"It's only for short big and we'll be back to the familiar adventures, dear."

"I know.  It's just..."

"Come on.  You're not that bent out of shape around Mettaton.  And he's got at least--"

"He's on the list, too."  M.K. held up the tablet.

"Ohhhh yeeeeees!"  Mettaton's voice clip played as soon as he clicked his bio.

"Wow, really?"  Frisk perked up quickly.

"Joy."  Chara wrinkled her nose.

The more I perused the list the more names I recognized.  A mix of good--

"Ken Masters is attending?"

"Tycoon from the Land of Wuzz?"

"Hey don't forget about my girl, Yai Ayanokouji!"  Violet mused.

"Yeah but look who else is showing up."

...and bad.

"Why the heck is Wendy O. "Kootie Pie" Koopa on the list!?  The Koopas aren't rich...but...they have stolen more gold coins than...goddammit.  Yeah, they're rich.  For all the wrong reasons."  I grumbled.

"Tell me that's not the same Mom that owns that robot empire."

"The very same that dated Professor Hubert Farnsworth?   The same."

And the...weird?

I stuck my finger in the air and opened my jaws to speak...then closed my mouth and slowly lowered my finger.

"C'mon.  Didn't you ever ask how he could afford a Playhouse that must've been designed by Tim Burton?  And he does wear the coolest red bowtie, y'know."

"But...?  Him, too?"

"He's a multi-grammy winner, celebrated music artist, and he even wrote an illustrated children's book.  So I guess when it comes to your words...you just have to EAT IT."

"Okay.  The Prince of Parody is in your rolodex.  But...there's no way this guy--"

"...actually, you're right.  But he kind of invited himself because the other two were attending."

"And probably driving Vern up the wall."  I facepalmed, recalling Asriel's and my experience at Vern's place before Dr. Otto Von Shnick-ick-ick-ick sent us on a trip through time and space.

This is going to be one weird meeting.

\*CRASH\*

...and chaotic.

"For god's sake, Eugene.  Stop messing with that Ampli-phaser already."  Rusty Venture stood up slamming his palms to the desk.

"Not until I get a proper filet mignon on a GOLD PLATE!  Not silver, GOOOOOLD!"

"I see Bling-Bling is in rare form."  Violet grinned as she slipped off her sandals and propped her bare feet up on the table, crossing her legs.

"How many of these guys are actually your friends?"  Asriel leaned over to Scrooge and whispered.

"Fewer than I have lucky number-one dimes, lad."

"Ouch."  Asriel cringed.

"This was a mistake."  Frisk shrunk down in her seat.

"Smithers."

"Yes, sir."

"This steak is too tough."

"Right away, sir--"

"No, Smithers, I mean run it through a grinder, then a blender."

"So...no on the pre-chewing and regurgitating it like a bird?"

"Of course not.  Don't be disgusting."

"As you wish, sir."  Smithers sounded notably disappointed.

Frisk shrunk further down in her seat.

"Hey, it'll be okay.  It's just once a year, miss."  Richie assured.

"Thanks, young man.  I could use all the encouragement.

"Here.  Drop by our family's health center some time if you have some vacation time.  It'll perk you right up."

Frisk accepted the voucher...then her eyes tripled.  It was for a week-stay at the Rich family health spa.  And according to what was written on it, this was easily a million dollar value package, at least.

"Usually I give away cash but my piggy bank's a little light do to an incident Dollar had while Irona was trying to give him his flea bath.  But you know, paying for damages just means you have to be responsible for life's moments."

"Th-thank-you."

"Hey, if you're not going to use it.."  Chara started.

"Not on your life."  Frisk hugged it to her chest.

"Everyone has a price."  Came the smirk of one Ted Dibiase Senior.

"Cool.  The Million Dollar Man is here."  M.K. beamed.

So of course the meeting got to order and by god did most of us live to regret being in attendance.

And it wasn't long for the 1%-er's to let their rivalries either reignite or be born for the first time.

"I'll have you know I'm a ROYAL REPTILE and I DEMAND TO BE PAMPERED ACCORDINGLY!"  Wendy O. Koopa got up onto the table and screamed in the face of whoever was closest.  Which happened to be Princess Morbucks.

"You wanna throw down, shell-creeper?  I'll bet a million in allowance that my daddy's richer than yours!"

"Don't tempt me, human germ!"

And of course Scrooge McDuck and Flintheart Glomgold didn't waste a moment to get into a "our rivalry hasn't even reached a boiling point yet" back-and-forth.

And that was just villain vs. villain and rival vs. rival.  The real heat was coming between hero vs. heel.

"Say what you will but your methods are dishonest and doomed to fail."

"Don't temp me old cool.  I'll give you a prostate exam with--"

"Oh!  This is upsetting me so!"  Dreamchip from Bedrock's "Flintstone Kids" somehow got a seat here!?

"It's very uncivilized, isn't it?"  Vanessa.  One of the kids from Camp Candy.   Yeah, she always spoke of her parents but we never did get to meet them."

"Strawberry Milk?  It's premium grade."  Yai offered.

"Please."

Yai snapped her fingers as her bevy of maids accompanied.

"Wow.  I've never seen strawberry milk come in a champagne bottle before."  M.K. whispered.

"That's Yai."  Violet grinned ear to ear.

Then there were the ones who fell into neither category of straight villain of straight hero...  Anti-heroes with a rivalry.  Sometimes a grudge.

Devilotte stared down Tron Bonne.  Though...why Tron was here, was anyone's guess.  Apparently there was a technicality that she and her siblings lost her family fortune at some point and that's why they turned to being air piracy.

Though...one could also argue Tron was still sitting on a small fortune from the banks and such she robbed to try to pay off Tiesel's debt.  And of course there was the money they got from stealing the proto refractor from inside the Main Gate on Kattalox Island.

Apparently this was before their money squandering put them right back into the burger restaurant scam.  Which would go "a little in the red" by the time they all snuck aboard the Sulfur Bottom with their ex-rivals led by Glyde; now on his own after Loathe was out of the picture.

"Hey.  Forehead.  You look familiar."  Tron narrowed her eyes at Yai.

"Excuse moi?"  Yai slow turned to the one who dared make light of her charm spot.

"Were you ever in an island school that issues quizzes?"

Yai narrowed her eyes.

"Glide?"

"What do you want, little blond urchin?"  Glyde turned to Yai.

"I wasn't talking to you, ruffian."  Yai looked back to her PET.

"So sorry you have to put up with such...undesirables, Miss Yai."  Glyde.EXE, her golden butler-type NetNavi responded.

Yeah...the irony of Glyde and his variant butting heads...

I still didn't figure out how people from completely other timelines and points in time could meet up like this.

"Hmmph.  You children and your toys."

"Who is this obnoxious person?"  Glyde.EXE scowled.

"Some pompous idiot who thinks he's you.  Or at least he calls himself by your name."

"What are you babbling about!?"  the human Glyde made several grabs for Yai's Personal Terminal before she delivered a kick to his knee under the table.

"Oww!  You brat!"

"Hey.  Show respect for my good friend, lacky.  Or you’ll get a face full of my bare rabbit feet."  Violet mused, wiggling her toes.

"Ugh!  Vulgar rodent!"

"You say the sweetest things."

"Okay.  I gotta ask."  Asriel shook his head.  "Is this meeting actually getting ANYTHING done?"

"Give it time.  It will work itself out, lad."  Scrooge shrugged it off while resuming his beef with Flintheart Glomgold.

"Being rich is starting to look overrated."  M.K. stuck his tongue out.

The room suddenly fell quiet and all eyes were on M.K.

"What?"

"We're going to pretend you didn't say that, lizard."  Bling-Bling lowered his eyebrows.

"Plebian."  Morebucks scoffed.

And so the arguing continued on.  Eventually everyone got bored of the quarrel and business finally the meeting started proper...or as proper as it was going to get.

Once it did begin...Chara and M.K. weren't the only ones who'd quickly lose interest after all the talk of stocks, bonds, tax breaks, and super PAC's.  And of course the stock market itself and back-and-forths about investing and buying and selling and such."

"I thought they'd be talking more about private islands and leer jets."  Chara rolled his eyes.

"Far be it for you to grasp, Chara.  But even 1%-ers have a lot of math and statistics and figures to look over."

"What's so gross about the national product?"  M.K. had what I called a Starfire moment.

"And that thing about net or gross?"  Chara shrugged.

"Uh...it was kind of gross when Doofus stepped on all those lemons at our lemonade stand."  Dewey spoke up.

"You want to explain or should I?"  Frisk asked.

"Not touching this one, dear."  Asriel remained blank as a sheet.

Eventually they did wrap up the talk about money numbers and just got to discussing money...

...the usual way.

"I fold."

"I got nothing."

"Lucky son of a--"

"Smithers.  I demand these cards be fired!"

"Yes, sir."

'Heheheheh.  Feast yours eyes on this.  Because this is what a boy adventure gets you."  Rusty pulled the pile toward himself."

"Oh this is utter bull--"  the Monarch pounded his fists on the table.

"Glomgold!  Are you slipping an ace from your sleeve!  You cheating pile of expired haggis!"

"Go mind ye own hand, McDuck!"

"I never thought I'd see the game of poker completely ruined for me." Frisk shrunk down in her seat.

"If sensei were here she'd clean the lot of them out."

"Yeah.  But she'd have no use for the pile."

"Speaking of..you see all the stuff that got dumped into it?"

"Tell me that's not that Proto-Refractor..."  I rubbed my temples.

"Well now I know what happened to that Faberge egg that Penguin heisted."

"And the jade Egyptian cat statue that Cat Woman nabbed?"

I could have sworn I saw Bruce Wayne narrow his eyes.  What stake does he have in...oh right.  I almost forgot who I was asking about.

I got a feeling the bird and the cat were going to end up in Blackgate Prison--

Suddenly the doors busted open and who should be there but...!

"All right youse mugs!  Reach for the sky!"

"Duh yeah!  This is a hiccup!"

"D'ohhhhhhhhh!  Bouncer, that's STICK-UP!"

"D'aaaah sorry, Big Time."

"Can we hurry this up!  I'm starving here!"

Burger took a bite out of the wooden prison number sign  hanging around his neck......oh.  That's why I remember him seeing that with a bite taken out of it.  He really will eat anything.

"Seriously?  Madam Fate's moment of mischief is something as cliche as the Beagle Boys trying to rob the richest people in the universe blind?"  I facepalmed.

"Please don't turn this into a Die Hard knockoff.  Sanchez already beat that one into the ground!"

"Bless me bagpipes!"

"Smithers!  What is happening?  Who are these unsightly mongrels."

"Uhh...I believe they call themselves the Beagle Boys."

"Beagle Boys?  How droll.  But foolish up them!  Smithers!  Release the hounds."

"Sir?  I think they ARE hounds--"

"Stick a sock in it, pops!"

"We're really doing this?"  Violet grinned, actually trying to hold back her laughter.

"This ought to be fun."

"Plan, Azzy?"

Asriel smirked.

"I still remember all their weaknesses from long ago when I accidently put on the Gizmo Suit."

One convoluted plan later.

"Hurk...!"  And Bouncer fell flat on his face as the Monarch's poisoned dart stuck in his neck.

"Get a good look, Venture!  Because the first moment we get out of this and back to arching, one of these is going to put you down and you'll be my prisoner!!!"

"Oh REAL smart.  Telling the super-scientist your plan ahead of time.  There's no way THAT'S going to backfire."

"DO NOT TEST ME YOU ACTION JOHNNY KNOCKOFF!"

"Hey, now!  I'll have you know I was TWICE the boy adventure that washed-up syringe case ever was!"

Frisk looked in Asriel's direction.

"We...are winning, right?"

"Alright, kid!  You're coming with me!" Baggy Beagle, in all his oversized attire stupidity attempted to take Richie Rich hostage.

"Before you do, I think you should meet a friend of mine."

And like that, enter the robotic maid as she simply busted through the wall.

"Irona to the rescuuue!  Must protect Master Richie Rich!"

"Hey, Brain Beagle!  Feel like having your mech armor hacked?"  Yai had climbed up on its back.  "Now JACK IN, GLYDE!"

"Right away, Miss Yai."

"Oh Einstein's moustache!  I didn't plan for this!"

And the chaos of all of us, whether rich or not got into a big melee.

"You've been Bling-Bling'd, boy!"  Eugene admired the solid gold covering that immobilized another one of the Beagles form the neck down.   He brandished the sprayer gun and fired up his jetpack.

"Ack!  Not in the study, ye crazy kid!"  Scrooge shook his cane at Bling-Bling.

"Now THIS is my kind of rich dude's meeting!"  M.K. hover above before coughing up a few of his own take of Augmon’s Pepper Breath.

"AAHHHHH!!!"

And finally.

"Ugh...Ma Beagle is not going to be happy."

"That's the understatement of the year."

"So the boss lady shows herself."  Asriel dusted off his hands and placed them on his hips.

"Don't get snippy with me, livestock!  You're making it very hard for my boys to make a dishonest living!

And speaking of which, every last one of you is in a lot of trouble!"

"Oh nooooo!"  Big Time slapped his own cheeks in anguish.

"We outnumber you, lady.  What you gonna do?"  Chara cackled.

"Uh...is that..."  Gyro turned pale.

"You'd better not tell me she absconded with another of your inventions, Gyro."  Scrooge slow turned.

"You're going to get mad, aren't you?"  Gadget asked.

"It depends on how severe your uncle has bungled this."

And in busted...!

"Oh no...not him..."  I remembered his first security robot attempt.

"Dodge or get it in the end with a bullet or two hundred!"  Asriel dove for cover at what looked like a paddy-wagon converted into a robot with machine gun wheel-arms.

"I thought I told you...NO MORE ROBOTS!!!"  Scrooge yelled at Gyro.

"Technically he was on his way to the recycling facility so that makes him the same robot, not a new one."

"Whatever!  Get that contraption off line or the next thing coming off is your employment!"

"Yes, sir!"

Well to make a long story short.  How did we wrap this up?

"Never fear!  GIZMO DUCK IS HERE!"

Gadget's eyes lit up upon the arrival of Fenton Crackshell, suited up for battle.

And what a...battle...it was not.

All you needed to know is...it was the ultimate dumb luck in Fenton's favor.

Yeah.

But I guess the point was to get results so...kudos?

"Ma!!  Where you going--"

Too late.  Ma Beagle had already escaped and left her many, many sons to take the rap.  Mother of the year, am I right?

So one lengthy cleanup and a lot of begrudging goodbyes later.

"So...did they get done what they set out to...?"

"Ehh...good enough for government work."  Violet picked up her sandals.

"You ever really think about how "good" government work amounts to on most worlds?"  I grumbled.

"Let's just get them squared away for the police."  I watched as enter Bonkers and Lucky Piquel...followed by Inspector Gadget and Elisa Maza and Mike Cosgrove.

"Let's never speak of this day again."  I sighed as we piled into Vi's limo.

"Maybe you should think about something less volatile next time, Vi."

"Good point.  I'll see how much I can get away with trolling Elon Musk over Twitter."

"Goddammit, Vi."

"You know...there's one thing this day has certainly been rich in."  Asriel looked to Frisk.

"What's that?"

"Moments we can look back on and have a good laugh over down the road."

"That's a good point, Azzy."

And scene.

## Sub-Entry 328: "It's a Thriller When We Ghostbust in Rock n' Wrestle Land":

So.  Yeah.

I never saw this one coming.

But my mentors having to go off world to Hulk Hogan's neck of the woods?

Who in their right mind saw this coming!?

But...I suppose I should rewind the clock and say it started long ago as the result of the wheelin-and-dealing fast one pulled by one Bobby "the Brain" Heenan and a delipidated cemetery that he built what was shortly known as...Hulk Hogan's Rock n' Wrestle Land amusement park.

An amusement park in which its paranormal problems were quickly covered up by a competition between Hogan's Heroes....heheheh, there's an even more dated reference in a dated reference that Robot Chicken already made.

Ahem.

Between Hulk Hogan's Heroes and Rowdy Piper's Heels; a competition among whose endorsed rides would finally decide which pro wrestler the park would be named after.

But of course when it was discovered Heenan had lied about how the land had been purchased and improperly treated thus stirring a ghostly hornet's nest.  Yeah.  We found both sides suddenly chasing after him to settle the debts.  On go-karts in Roddy Piper's bagpipe-mobile likeness, no less.

So how did this mishap end?  With the park being torn down and revered to a cemetery and renamed Rowdy Piper's Rock and Rest in Peace Cemetary...or something like that.

You'd think that would put the spirts back to bed, right?

Time makes fools of us all and sometimes villains got to villain and not learn their lesson.  Or some other heel will pick up the goods and ignore the warnings of those that came before.  And low and behold sometimes "Then, Now, Forever, Together" ends up colliding in ways you didn't expect.

"CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRECT!"  Mike "The Miz" Mizenen.  On his latest in-ring talk show appearance.  Only this time it wasn't in-ring...it was at the grounds of the latest construction project after Hulk Hogan's Gym was now sold and under new management.

Oh boy.  What were we in for Goat Son but the crossover of eras?

Fair warning.  Yes.  This will involve time-travel and meeting of past and present superstars.

And of course...my mentors coming to the scene.  Wow, even for a crossover this is ambitious.  Kind of like our old Crossover Wars days.

"You sure you want to sit this one out, Frisk?"  Asriel looked over his shoulder.

"I'm...not really into sports entertainment, Azzy.  Go on.  Have fun.  Guys night out."

"Yeah well...it's not so much a guy's night out but helping old friends."

"It'll be okay.  Chara and I will have a girls night out."

"Don't I get a say in this?"  Chara grumbled as Frisk tugged on her arm.

Chara on the other hand WAS keen on seeing violent, sweaty wrestlers fake-beat-the-crap-out of each other.

But you know who WAS on board, even AFTER we finally explained it wasn't so much as "fake" but "scripted".  There was a difference.  You're opening a can of worms if you tell a pro-wrestler that the sport is fake--

"NGAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

...oh yeah, Undyne was totally going with us.

"How did this mess get started in the first place?"  Winston Zeddemore was blunt about it as we continued the ride in the two Ectomobiles.  Them in the O.G. Ecto-1 and us in Ecto 1A.

"Yeah, Paul Bearer warned explicitly not to desecrate these grounds after Undertaker made sure of a proper exorcism when the plots had to be moved."  Violet peeked over my shoulder.  "But then the new location for Rowdy Piper's Rest-in-Peace etcetera-etcetera ended up being sold AGAIN.  And now we're in THIS mess."

"Hey, don't distract while I'm driving, Vi."

"You know next generation heels."  Asriel crossed his arms.  "They always gotta twist Cena's words about the legends' time being up and the new talent's being now."

"According to our records, it was bought up and sold again by--" I started.

"Heyman Hustle...."  Asriel about crumpled the paper up.

"Okay there is no way the Tribal Chief okayed this."  Monster Kid snatched the paper.

"You're right."  Violet muttered.  "Another one of his side projects and he's scouting new talent for when the Island of Relevancy actually DOES sink."

"He's thinking THAT far ahead after Roman Reigns' title run might actually come do an end some day?"  Monster Kid cocked his head.

"Need I remind you the age old advice?  Cowards do survive."  Asriel crossed his arms.

"Yeah.  New generation is a bunch of goofballs.  When do we get to see some body slams!?"  Undyne growled.

"Patience, Dy-Dy.  Us eggheads have to so some brain work before anyone can get taken to Supplex City."

"What do you think, Egon?  Any insight on how far back this land's paranormal history goes?"  Ray asked.

"So far all attempts to cross-index against ancient Sumerian texts have proven fruitless.  If there is a dormant cross-rift it's not in Toban's Spirit Guide."

Egon snapped the tome shut with a frustrated expression.

"I think we're missing the bigger picture here.  How much a WWF...I mean WWE...never gonna get used to that...WWE endorsement is going to spread the Ghostbusters name across the map."  Peter was already thumbing through a notepad of past invoices.

"Oh brother..."  I almost facepalmed.  Not like they'd see that over the radio.

"Violet, you're going to have to handle Heyman.  I don't think I could last three minutes without getting the urge to let Undyne put him in a headlock."  I growled.

"Did you say...THREE MINUTES?"

"Aunt VI?  Don't start."  Asriel stuck his tongue out.

"By the way, major props for pulling quadruple duty; make shifting more equipment for use to use, Gadget."

"Happy to help, Big Brother!  I'm just glad Mr. Dog's Junkyard is still around and open to the public."

Gadget was enjoying her C.M. Punk tie-in ice cream.  Yeah, don't ask how he got that off the ground, considering it was a name that a lot of different wrestling factions had stricken from he record.  But still...it is really good ice cream.

Gadget got all her best stuff at Junk Yard Dog's Junkyard.  Even after the late owner's passing.  It was in good hands after a grant from Vi and some joint management from two guys we know in Mega Kat City had it properly taken care of.  Hey, anywhere you can get military scrap for the Turbo Kat is a vested interest.

Welcome to the extended UltraVerse, people.  Enjoy the crazy ride!

"...and you should consider yourselves...fortunate that the Tribal Chief...in his infinity generosity has ALLOWED my services to be wasted on the likes of bottom-feeders such as yourselves.  Bottom-feeders who do not give the proper ACKNOWLEDGEMENT to his Greatness On a Different level Tribal Chief-ness--"

"Can I hit him, yet, Vi?"

"Now now now!  Don't try anything crazy!  I am just an ADVOCATE!  And ADVOCATE!"  Heyman backed away as Undyne cracked her knuckles and was about three seconds from dropping her human disguise.

"Well now.  I'm so glad we can do business proper.  So.  This is yet another era of wrecks, lies, and videotape.  And I get to hear you spin the story of how you bamboozled the Tribal Chief out of his... \*chuckle\* ...'well-earned' money to start an investment on the side.  And I see you already gave it the proper due that the Undertaker warned you about.  So the parts I don't like I'm going to let Undyne edit out.  And unlike 'Mami' who would just give your Enforcer a stare down...Undyne would most certainly do more than dare him to take a shot at a female superstar."

Oh.  Vi was namedropping Dom Mystero's squeeze in the Judgement Day.  That's not going to stir anyone up or anything.

Cue me ducking a water bottle and some popcorn buckets.

Undyne slammed her fist into her palm with a toothy grin.

Violet mused as her royal guards in their Matrix agent cosplay took care of her hand and foot, even down to kneeling down on all fours and making a living hybrid throne for her to sit on as she was handed a big wine glass full of carrot smoothie.

"Oh god...who's laying it on thicker?"  M.K. muttered to me.

"So where's the problem at?"  Peter slipped his thumbs behind the straps of his Proton Pack like he was stretching the straps of a pair of overalls.

A silent Solo Zikoa pointed over the horizon at the giant glowing purple-ish magenta fountain of spectral energy stretching up to the sky in  the midst of very thick, swirling doomsday clouds.

"You are so going to work triple to weasel out of this one."  M.K. taunted as Heyman wiped his brow with a handkerchief.

"Now now.  Babyfaces shouldn't gloat, M.K."  Asriel mused rather smugly.  "But he is right.  This is going to cost you when this blows over."

We all packed up the cars and headed toward the disturbance.

"Guys, it occurs to me that maybe the warnings of old thinned over time.  We're probably going to need help straight from the horse's mouth."

"You saying we need to bring in backup?"

"I'd say both old and new."  Asriel mused as Vi lent him her cell phone.  "You still got the number for the old place from long ago?"

"I thought you'd never ask."   I mused as I accessed the hands-free video phone functions.

"You've reached Hulk Hogan's Gym, brother!  What can the Hulkster do for you today?"

"Got time for some old friends?"  I waved as the video phone activated and the auto-pilot took over.  Yeah, I made some mods to Ecto 1A of my own.

"Well I'll be...Volt Arcade and company!  You sayin' your prayers and taking your vitamins, brother?"

"Ehh, at least half of those.  Listen, we got a situation about 30 years in the future.  J.Y.D. still have that Time Machine he make shifted?"

"Whatever you need, you got.  That's a promise from the Hulkster."

"Aright but you know the procedure.  We'll have to Neuralize you all before you head back to your own time.  Can't have you taking information about the future home with you, y'know?"

"It's a deal, my favorite werewolf Hulk-a-maniac!"

"Tell J.Y.D. that Gadget says hi!"

"That's another promise from the Hulkster, brother."

So.  That's how that got set in motion.

"Man, we're actually getting Hulk Hogan teamed up with us.  How cool is that?"  Winston mused.

Egon arched an eyebrow, clearly not a wrestling fan.

"Just roll with it, mentor."

"So who did you call, Azzy?"

A very wide grin.  About a few more minutes down the road I could hear the distinct custom horn of a tricked out low-rider.

"Hey guys, I think we got a preview of the next Fast and Furious installment."  Vi joked as I looked at the approaching car behind us.

"And was it honking the first five notes of "My Time is Now"?"  Monster Kid's grin widened.

"I know a guy."  Asriel mused.

"And HIS NAME...IS...!"

Yeah.  Spoilers.  And they didn't even come from Heyman.

Man, this sub-entry is turning into ALL KINDS of cheese.  I mean this is the kind of thing you expect from one of those...fan-fictions I think you call them?  Huh.

Why do I feel like I'm getting weirdly meta?

Fourth wall successfully shattered, maybe?

Let's just get on with it.

"Oh man...!"  Winston looked at the absolute storm of ghostly activity in what was the remains of the construction site and what was now an F-5...tornado of spiritual turbulence...and a few flying tombstones.

References and puns VERY much intended.

"It's definitely a major psychic disturbance."  Egon twisted the dials of the P.K.E. Meter.

"This is...one of those overtime cases isn't it?"  Peter stayed behind the open door of the Ectomobile.

"Come on, Pete."

"Yeah.  Aren't you excited to be part of this plan?"

Ray and Winston each grabbed him by an arm and coaxed him forward.

"Hey!  That was different!"  Peter begrudgingly acknowledged the slim-chance of crossing the streams.

"You know we could use something uplifting right about now."  Asriel secured his NXS converted proton pack.

It was right about that time Violet's boom box suddenly cued up "Real American" and who should make his entrance while holding a hand up to his ears, alternatingly before posing and tearing the shirt off.

As soon as the music faded out it was immediately followed up by "My Time is Now" right as the hydraulics on the low-rider started jumping for a moment before lowering the car completely down and the door opening up.

And with a salute and a fling of the cap, the tee-shirt and wrist bands...

"You got John Cena!?"  Undyne freaked.

"Like I said.  I know a guy."  Asriel returned the salute.

And low and behold...pretty sure you know that there was an inevitable meeting of the two icons followed by a beefy handshake.

"So you're the new face of the company."

"Not as much as I'd like now that the Movie career's taking off.  Man, I gotta tell you, this is such and honor, seeing you at your prime."

"The honor is all the Hulkster's, brother."

Yeah.  This was as "fanfic" as a crossover gets.  No shame.  Sorry, not sorry.  This is a thing.  Deal with it.  I say this as I chuckle out loud.

"So what's the situation?"  John asked.

"It's not good.  I knew we should have come down on Heenan harder but he bamboozled us again when he sold the rights to this cemetery to some sleazy investor."

"Yeah.  Already met him."  Violet switched out her jet pack for a proton pack--

\*thud\*

"Not...one word."  Vi grumbled, flat on her back, clearly not expecting it to be THAT heavy a machine.  At her small size I don't think she was going to stand up on her own power.

"You know I got the other one if you want to use that."  I pointed to Kylie Griffen's spare "Extreme" pack.

A moment of salvaging her pride later...

"You're just enjoying this."  She smoldered as she passed by...suddenly Bunnie Rabbotou.

Bunnie uncrossed her arms and cybermorph an arm cannon, slotting int the Proton Cannon chip from long ago.

"This time I brought plenty of W-Cans."

"Good job, Major.  Everyone else?  Suit up."

"Hope you don't mind, but I called in some reinforcements."

Cena pointed over his shoulder where I could see the likes of Cody Rhodes, Matt Riddle, the New Day, Bianca Bellaire, and various other superstars already putting on coveralls and packs.

"Only if you don't mind if I brought in some of my own, brother."

Enter Junk Yard Dog, Tito Santana, Captain Lou Albano, Wendy Richter, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and one very big Andre the Giant, hefting a custom-made Slimeblower.

This...is really happening...right?

I really have to credit both goddesses for this one.  This is...as "imaginative" as it gets.

So one very massive, very epic crossover later...

Sorry, let's just call it a matter of the budget running out at this moment.  Yeah.  That works.  That's a good enough excuse.

"...and here's the Wise Man that set all this in motion."  Violet dusted her hands off as Undyne tossed him to the ground.

"He had help.  Show em, Andre."  Hulk turned toward where Andre had Bobby the Brain Heenan hoisted up by the scruff of the neck.

"Well this cross-rift is officially contained."  Egon looked at the dormant P.K.E. Meter before pushing the arm mechanism back down into the top of the unit and turning it off.

"It was great teaming up like this.  But too many more of these and I'm not going to have enough in the tank for an appearance at WrestleMania 40."  Cena put his cap back on.

"Wow, to think it's gone on that long, brother.  I got a lot to look forward to."

"Yeah but you'll discover it in time. You know the deal."  I readied the neuralizer.

"A promise is a promise.  But let's hold off until we've said our goodbyes and such."

Gadget waved to J.Y.D. after setting her box of junk and parts down.

"It's one for the ages."  Asriel said after setting up the camera's tripod and getting everyone in position for a good team-up pose.

"Three...two...one--"  He counted down.

"Annnnnnnd there you have it!"  The Miz suddenly slid into frame, photo bombing at that EXACT moment and blocking the view of everyone else.

"Only on MIZ T.V.  I'm your host, the Miz!  And I...AM...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME!

"Goddammit..."  I facepalmed before Asriel elbowed me and Ray pointed up.

"What--!?!"  Was all the Miz got out before a giggling green ghost known as Slimer dive-bombed him and COMPLETELY covered him in ectoplasm.

Miz horrifyingly yanked off his shades and stood their in utter horror.

"Now that's good television."  Peter mused.  "We owe you one, spud."

While Miz stormed off, screaming about his agent hearing about this...we all set up for one good picture.

Laughter all around.  Then we settled down long enough to take the most epic group photo ever.  A photo only a third of us would be able to take home, a third of us would be allowed to remember...and another third of us going back to the 1980's with no memory of this experience.

All in all?  Yeah.  This was just like old times.

You know, if this is what these adventures are like now, I gotta be here for WrestleMania 40.

## Sub-Entry 329: "We Continue to Investigate and Monitor From Behind the Scenes"

I know I had recruited quite a few into UCIAT with Asriel, Frisk, Chara, M.K., Paps and Undyne at the frontlines...

...but I never expected other Boss Monsters to volunteer for service even though they technically didn't officially join our operation.

"Are mom and dad going to be okay down there?  Even by Monster standards, that's magic, mysticism and unexplained phenomenon that goes way outside of convention."

"But nothing all that unfamiliar after observing and studying on assignment on so many worlds."

"I agree, Volt."  Asriel rubbed his chin.

"What is that world they're investigating?"

"We don't have all the data but the Cyber Gate tag gives the designation: "Unicorn: Warriors Eternal"."

"There's quite a name to go by, dudes."  M.K. cocked his head.

"What's the synopsis?"

"Well, I trust you're familiar with Hyrule and how their prophecy tells of the triadic connection between an immortal evil known as Ganondorf or just Ganon and how he's opposed by two souls that have been cursed to reincarnate endlessly in an endless cycle of bloodshed, yes?"

"Okay...starting to see where this is going."

"Picture three heroes.  Summoned by Merlin and fated to combat a great evil.  A trio fated to be reawakened over and over to save the world time and time again."

"Right.  Reincarnating again and again like Link and Zelda."  Azzy crossed his arms.

"It sounds like their tale has gone swimmingly through the ages...up until now?"

"Yeah.  Apparently their having...teamwork troubles.  Their most powerful member is having some sort of identity crisis.  She awakened in a woman who's stubbornly retaining her own will and fighting against the soul that overtook her."

"Oooh."

"Then there's the cosmic-walker who reincarnated into a child."

"Hmm...sensei once spoke of the cosmic plane.  It takes years...a life time of building up a tolerance to the sheer magnitude of what the mind is subjected to  on every plane of awareness all at once.  A kid has no chance of walking those cosmic roads without being overwhelmed."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Imagine dumping Catty into a catnip factory and locking her in."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."  Frisk cringed.

"Which just leaves the Northern Elf.  He's staying on task well, but he's having a  hard time dealing with...well apparently he and the sorceress were lovers. But--"

"The identity crisis is putting a crimp in that?"  Chara rolled her eyes.

"Any member of the team not having issues?"  She followed up.

"Uh...the robot?"

"There's a robot?"  M.K. got excited.

"Yeah...report calls him "Copernicus".  Not much of a talker unless you speak whistles, bells, and mechanical noises."

"Sounds very steam-punk."

"Chipper design."  Jon mused as he admired the very British look of the plump, gold metal man.

"You would approve, Jon."

"I think the real question is...what is the great evil?"  Asriel asked.

"See for yourself."  I called up various pictures.  Half seem to be an ominous looking fox...with nine tails.  The other was that same fox in a humanoid form and in Victorian dress.

"No name, yet.  But obviously the source of the disturbance.  Asgore and Toriel are keeping close watch from a distance.  I've warned them to get out if they're discovered."

"That's a smart move, Volt."

"So what k-kind of d-d-dangers have they w-witnessed?"  Alphys peered at the reports.

"First contact with what appears to be statues and inanimate objects brought to live as eerie zombie-fied beasts.  Like the devil elephant that trampled the city and the army of Roman soldier statues...and get this: An entire ghost pirate ship was possessed.  It seemed to be set as a trap with an elaborate magical force field in place."

"Yikes.  Powers like that could be really dangerous if Adonis got his hands on that back then."

"I don't want to think about him allied with an evil kyuubi kitsune."  Bunnie crossed her arms.  "Jang is filled with stories of many-tailed foxes.  Many of which have brought ruin the lands and despair and suffering to one and all."

"We've had very real clashes with kitsune in modern times.  Remember the nogitsune?"

Bunnie narrowed her eyes.  "She's still on the loose out there."

"Yeah."  I nodded.

Frisk and Chara looked at each other, not in the loop.

"Before your time...well...your time on this world."

"Is there any possibility, they could be connected?"

"There's always a possibility, Commander.  On the likely possibility they're not connected, we'll do everything to make sure neither evil fox becomes aware of the other's existence."

"Hey, all this talk about foxes made me remember something."  Undyne muscled into the conversation.

"Wasn't there some blond-haired, loud-mouthed squirt that had some kind of...thing with a nine-tailed fox?"

We all looked at each other.

"Naruto."  most of us said in unison.

"Oh yeah...that's the brat."  Undyne grinned.  "You know if this Jang place is where anime was born, I don't see a lot of blond-haired heroes wielding gigantic swords."

Bunnie had a moment of looking flustered.  And feeling self-conscious over being a Jangese with actual blond hair--inherited from her mother, Anna May.

"Uh, Dy-Dy?  We're getting off topic."  Asriel cut in.

"Yeah, yeah.  So...what?  We just gonna hang back and not go down there and make a fur coat out of that troublemaker?"

"Undyne...remember the UCIAT credo about not being a cheat-sheet."

"Gah.  Fine, I get it.  Don't solve their problems for them."

"Exactly.  Step in only when necessary and even the odds.  Be the support characters and NPC's.  Don't escalate battles unless you're forced to.  Like the Ranger Code."  Asriel reminded.

"I just g-g-got a text from Lady Toriel.  She's o-overheard some names while looking in on the trio."

"Hmm?"

"The Cosmic-walker is a monk called Seng.  Before he was 'awakened' he was Alfie, part of a bunch of juveniles whose school was shut down.  But it's like Bunnie said...a child's body?  His cosmic connection leaves him in a constant stupor."

"Good job, Tori."

I gave a fist pump.

"Asgore got the next report.  The swordsman is a Northern Elf prince named Edred.  Before he awoke, he was a street magician named Dimitri Dynamo.  You know the shyster type; making a buck or a pound off of flash and showmanship.  Out of all of them, Edred seems to retain the most memories though he admits his mind is...clouded."

"Hmm."  Bunnie withheld her thoughts about weaker minds being pretty susceptible to possession and mental puppetry.

"Glad his highness proves you can teach an old goat new tricks."

"Th-the last one proved to be the h-hardest one to g-g-get info on and stay c-c-covert.  Asgore and Toriel really had to work together to get by without being discovered much less get caught up in destruction."

Alphys took a moment to compose herself and put on her game fast.

"The last one was once named Emma Fairfax, daughter of a wealthy family and engaged to marry a young man named Winston.   When awakened she was overtaken by a powerful dark sorceress named Melinda."

"Powerful?"  Chara inquired.

"M-m-maybe more powerful than Queen Brooke and Queen Toriel COMBINED."

M.K. gulped hard.

"Unfortunately...she was awoken too early...at least that's what Lady Toriel thinks.  That awakening allowed Emma to become the dominant personality and...she's...not taking it well."

"Stop me if I've heard this one before?  Sure."  Chara lounged on top of the computer console in the lab, earning a dubious look from Nikita.

"Sounds like someone is running scared and hiding behind the excuse of "this isn't my war".  And "find someone else".  And otherwise holding back at every turn.  All while being 20 pounds of snippy, surly, defiant attitude problem.  That doesn't sound even remotely familiar to meeeee..."  Chara rolled her eyes.

"All correct."  Alphys nodded, ignoring Chara's sarcastic stinger at the end.

"Someone speaking from experience?"  Violet mused.

"Tread carefully, Tokugawa."

"What about the Fox?"  Frisk asked.

"Nothing."  Alphys looked disappointed.  "The only word they have on this thing is "The Evil"."

"Vague."  Asriel crossed his arms.  "But at this point why be surprised?   What's our next move?"

"We wait.  We watch.  And we get involved only if it gets out of hand."  I said, leaning back in my computer chair.

"Grrr...my least favorite thing..."  Undyne snarled.

Asriel just chuckled as his eyes turned cyan.

"I hope we can deploy down there.  I'd like to make some new friends."  Frisk smiled.

"Yeah...but from the looks of that Melinda, that's probably not going to come easy.  She looks like she's in quite a mood having her life turned upside down."  Chara pointed out.

"She's just going to have to stop being selfish."  Frisk put her hands on her hips.

"I think we can probably learn more through that Copernicus robot.  But...I think we're going to have to ask Nikita if she has a translation cipher for uhh...steampunk?"  M.K. rubbed the back of his head.

"At the very least Toriel thinks she and Asgore should mind that Winston person."

"Wait, the fiancé is STILL following her?  Into danger and such?"

"Sounds like he's full of...Determination."  Mitzi spoke up.

"You know what this also reminds me of?"  Asriel furrowed his brow.

"By any chance...are you going to say the prophecy of Captain N?"  I asked.

"Yeah.  Stop me if you've heard THIS one.  Hero chosen by destiny and fate.  Reluctant to take up a war, not believing any of this is real.  Not willing to give up their old life for what might be a new one..."

"Yes, but Kevin...both ours and the alternate Videoland's rose to the challenge of the mantle of Captain N the Game Master."  Pit pointed out.

"Yeah.  She's going to need to grow into this and accept this eventually.  Otherwise their teamwork falls apart.  And the Evil wins."  I agreed.

We all nodded.

A bit of silence for a bit.

"So...any other projects we looking into?"  M.K. asked.

"Well there is that Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss and Lackadaisy--"  Chara started.

"Any projects that ARE NOT purple or black-listed?"  I raised my voice in anger.  I wasn't about to give Violet fuel for her NSFW fire.  Plus I was still trying not to let us get roped into the Venture thing on the horizon.

"Oh.  Well...then no.  All's quiet all over the Ultraverse."

"Don't jinx it, Chara."  M.K. taunted.

"Wouldn't dream of it, scales-and-tail."

"I got a better idea.  You know the Spider-Verse has become active.  Anyone want to see if Muffet wants to check in on a wall-crawler named Miles Morales?"

"Sounds good to me, Azzy."  Frisk smiled.

I gave a thumbs up as the group exited the lab.

Once they were gone I adjusted the monitor and turned dour again.

"Now...what are you really up to, Madam Fate...?"  I narrowed my eyes.

The lab door closed as I continued my research...

## Sub-Entry 330: "A Knight Riding With Dukes is Hazardous to Boss Hogg's Financial Health":

We hadn't been through Hazard County since Violet made a last minute save recruitment while Azzy and I were stranded at a shootout involving the Wild West Cowboys of Moo Mesa.  An incent which also saw one Brave Starr team up with us in addition to some good ole boys in an orange legend on four wheels known as the General Lee.

Furthermore things quieted down at F.L.A.G. and the Knight Foundation following our crossovers with both Macgyver and with Turbo Teen.

So how do you follow up one of the good old days of goofball insanity in these modern times?

Well...

It began when the Knight Foundation contacted us with...what might be arguably Michael Knight's lowest, most embarrassing point.

"Say that again.   You were what?"

"I believe he said jumped and K.I.T.T. was hijacked."

"No, seriously."

"This is no laughing matter, I assure, Dr. Arcade."  Devon Miles was rather unamused.

"But how?  I've seen K.I.T.T. handle would-be car-jackers before."

"It seems this was an organized theft and they had counter-measured that disabled K.I.T.T.'s central processor.  Michael was lucky to get away with a bad migraine when he awoke."

"So that's why he's not responding to his com-link and why his tracker has gone dead?"

"It would seem so, Mr. Dreemurr-Arcade."

"Just Asriel.  Saying the whole combined last name just sound cumbersome now."

"Do we have any leads?"

"None concrete but I suspect this may be a case of revenge from our old headache--"  Michael pressed the ice back to the back of his head and winced.

"Garth Knight.  The fallen, disgraced son of Wilton."  I crossed my arms.  "And the basics for Michael's facial reconstruction surgery.

It does seem like a bit much for Wilton to craft the image of the son he wished he would have ended up from an officer who, by all accounts should be listed as dead."

I was referring to Michael's previous identity of Michael Long.  How he got mixed up in this was...certainly a story Garfield liked to tell.

"Bonnie has collaborated with your Dr. Lynx and managed to find enough clues to place K.I.T.T.'s estimated destination is somewhere in the deep south.  Your second in command has deduced a possible point to intercept them is in a county in Georgia called "Hazard".

Asriel and I immediately looked at each other.

"We might have some acquaintances there that might be able to help."

"Although, Commander..."  Bunnie walked in.  "We need to tread carefully.  Our allies aren't exactly on the right side of the law in Hazard County."

"Oh yeah...that..."

"Is there some problem?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Devon.  We will be in touch and contact you with an update.  Arcade out."

As soon as the transmission ended...

"Why didn't you tell them about their...ahem...family business that goes back to the Prohibition era?"

"I don't need to complicate matters by telling him the family in question are wanted moonshine runners."

"That's not your bias against alcohol talking again is, it Commander?"  Violet grinned.

"Someone who can't hold her liquor has no room to talk Vi.  Your reactions to overdoing it on carrot schnapps are worse than Emmett's that Fourth of July back when he was stranded in 1885.  And let's not forget when he and Marty were ABOUT to leave to return to 1985..."

"Picky, picky..."  Vi snorted.

"So while the real issue is the car thieves, the side issue to be concerned with is the...\*cough\*...law in town."  Asriel wrinkled his snoot.

"And the law starts with Jefferson Davis Hogg.  Boss Hogg as he's known.  And if I know him, he's probably already cutting a deal and getting in over his head with our thieves in question in the hopes of finally getting--"  I started.

"Yeah.  And he's probably going to have Roscoe P. Coltrain out for not only them but anyone aiding and abetting."  Asriel cut in, already up to speed.

"Well, if I may?"  Rotor raised his hand.

"Gadget and I kind of keep in contact with a local garage there run by a grease monkey who calls himself Cooter.  He did mention something strange about some parts that got sold to his place--"

"Oh no..."  I furrowed my brow.  "There's a very real chance the crooks may have already started dismantling the sections of K.I.T.T. they don't need or that that are too traceable.  What better way to ditch the evidence than to sell it on the black market?"

"We're in trouble if they fish out his alpha circuit."  Asriel grimaced.

"Let's high tail it down to Hazard County and meet up with Uncle Jessie.  See if his nephews aren't out on a run."  Harmony Howlette raised her cowboy hat out of her eyes with her thumb.

"Anyone we should get from the Undertale division?"

"We'll need Alphys if we end up having to reassemble K.I.T.T."  I nodded.  "Bring Monster Kid along."

"Nice."

"And this time...make sure no Temmie's sneak into the car like last time."

"I'll try but Temmies do what Temmies please."  Asriel sweat dropped.

"I should also check with an old friend of Mom's."  Bunnie looked a little flushed.  "Actually, more like her friend's daughter.  She's a waitress at a place called the Boar's Nest tavern.  It's owned by you-know-who."

I could tell she was begrudgingly falling back on her Southern heritage.  But how Anna May Fields-Rabbotou knows Daisy...?  That was a tale I'd be quite interested in.

"With a name like that I need less than three guesses.  And that's only if the first two didn't count anyway."  I flattened my ears.

"All of us going down there?  Human disguises.  No exceptions.  And...watch out around J.D. Hogg.  He's about as greasy as the crankshaft fresh out of a stock car engine."  Harmony mused.

And so a portion of us squeezed into WLS-002, figuring an old Ford would fit in better than a high-tech coup or one of our other modern vehicles.  Heck even the Delorean was pretty techy going in there.

And once down there...

Our team consisted of myself, Bunnie, Violet, and Harmony in WLS-002.  Plus Asriel, Frisk, Rotor, and Gadget in Rotor's plumbing van.

My team headed to the Boar's Nest.  Rotor's headed to Cooter's Garage where Michael was nursing the bump on his head on a bench outside.

"You didn't report this to the local authorities?"  Frisk asked.

"Again I remind.  The authorities around here work for Boss Hogg.  And frankly I don't know if we want the services of one Roscoe P. Coltrain.  Especially if he figures out we're chummy with the Duke Boys."

"I'm still trying to play catch-up with all this."  Frisk looked over the dossier.

"Aunt Vi called in a favor from them a while back while Volt and I were in a fix.  Unfortunately, not even moments of getting Shock Holiday under control and cleaning up the town, Roscoe and his deputy, Cletus were on us like a Rabite on a head of iceberg lettuce."

"So they're outlaws, yes?"

"Moonshine-runners.  You know.  The triple X-marked brown jugs?  Not quite legal around these parts?  The thing Volt would spend a few days ranting about the downsides of alcohol on the liver?."

"Oh.   Yeah, let's gloss over the family business.  I get why Hogg's after the but you implied it's more than just the law cracking down."

"Yeah.  Jefferson Davis Hogg has a bit of his own history back in the day before he became Boss of Hazard County.  Before his political career.  Like Uncle Jessie Duke, he was a runner, too."

"No way!'

"While I'm sure there's plenty of other issues at hand the main one seems to be old rivalries never settled.  He's had an axe to grin with the Duke Family for some time.  Couple that with the fact that if his name isn't a tell, his greedy nature motivates him to own everything in Hazard County; lock-stock-and-barrel.  And that includes the Duke Farm."

"Wow, and I thought Muffet wrote the book on greed."

"The man's also a master wheeler-dealer.  He's always got his hands mixed up in something dirty behind the scenes to make a buck or stick it to the Dukes."

"Then the Duke cousins are...?"

"Modern day Robin Hoods.  Just like the song goes..."  Asriel slid the tape into the tape deck of Rotor's van and let the stylings of Waylon Jennings play.

"Just  a good ole boys.  Never meanin' no harm.

Beats all you ever saw, been in trouble with the law since they day they was born.

Straightenin' the curves.  Flattenin' the hills.  Some day the mountain might get em, but the law never will.

Makin' their way the only way the know how.  That's just a little bit more than the law would allow.

Just-a-good ole' boys.  Wouldn't change if they could.  Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood!"

"YEEEE-HAAAAA!"  Gadget suddenly gave a rebel yell.

Everyone looked at her for a second before all parties started laughing.

"That's awesome, little big sister."

"I know, right!"

Elsewhere...

"Boar's Nest."  I frowned at the implication.

"You know there's not a two-drink minimum, Commander.  You can just order a soda anyway."

I sighed.

"Right as always, Major."  I took a moment to fix my outfit.

"How do we look?"

"Like a bunch o' city slickers."  Harmony shook her head.

"Comforting to know."  Bunnie said dryly.

"Hey.  Be what you are and accept no substitutes."

"Your outfit stands out the most, Vi."  Harmony glared.

"Is it weird having one guy be accompanied by three women?"

"Do you want to MAKE it weird?"

I face palmed.

"Just for that you don't get to order anything, Vi."

"Harsh."

Once inside.

"Now this is a bar and tavern.  My kind of place.  Like it never left the old West."  Harmony tipped her cowboy hat as she passed by some patrons leaving the place.

"Howdy there.  What can I get you folks?"

Daisy Duke.  The gal that the denim short-shorts were named for.  She drives like Richard Petty, shoots like Annie Oakley, and knows all the words to every Dolly Parton song.

Bunnie smiled the briefest of smiles.  "How about a little nostalgia for Anna's girl?"

"Bunnie?  Is that you, gal?  It's been many a summer since I last saw Anna May Fields' lil girl."

"Anna May Fields-Rabbotou."  Bunnie corrected.

"I hardly recognize you in that human getup of yours."  She whispered.

Proof that she knew all our secrets as not-quite homo sapien.

"How is the lil' lady now?"

Bunnie's gaze dropped.  "I'm afraid she's doin' all her balladeering in Heaven now."

"Ohh my stars...I'm so sorry."

I could see Vi was amused by Bunnie falling back into her rare Southern Drawl.  It was hard to believe she even had one.  Heck sometimes it was hard to believe she had a Jangese accent.  Bunnie had trained herself so well she could slide back and forth between just about any dialect.  I'd even heard her pull of perfect Russian once.  I'd...get the story from Ivan Vectorgrafinski on that one.  Provided he wasn't in one of his spy games.

"It's not a story faint for the heart.  I'd rather not talk about it."

"Well you can come to me any time, darlin.  I always got a right neighborly shoulder to lean on."

"Thanks."

"So...your boss and your bestie and...?"

"Harmony Howlette, sugah.  I'm as country as it gets."

"Always glad to meet another from rural county.  How y'all doin."

"Right as a possum who nabbed a steak from right under  hound dog's nose."

A giggle.

"You're alright."

"Sorry to cut the introductions short."  I cut in.  "But we're kind of here on assignment.  We got a friend of ours in town who got jumped by some bad dudes.  They monkeyed around with his fancy car--shut down all the security systems--before stealing it.  Thought you might hook us up with those cousins of yours and get some help gettin' her back."

"Anything to help a friend of Anna May's.  Give me bit and I'll meet up with you after my shift."

"Guess if we're gonna wait, might as well order a round.  Nothing alcoholic for any of us."  I made that clear.

"Y'all got it."

"Still a peach in mamma's eyes I see.  Your cousins still speak pretty highly of you."  Bunnie smiled.

"If you weren't their cousin, one of them would marry you."  She added, in a rare moment of joking.

"That never stopped anybody in this family before."  Daisy grinned.

Bunnie's eyes actually widened.

"Ohhhh-ho."  Violet 's grin widened.

Awkward silence.

"I was just kidding."

"No doubt about it...you definitely have mamma's sense of humor."  Bunnie sweatdropped.

"Close your mouth, Vi."  Bunnie forcefully pushed her jaw shut.

"Now I know why your humor is so dry, Major."

"Now you know."  Bunnie 's anime sweatdrop could be seen from space.

And...

"...and that's the story."  Rotor explained.

"Man, I gotta tell you.  Some people just don't know how to be neighborly in a town like this."  Cooter finished the oil change and closed the hood.

"You heard anything strange or seen anything, Mr. Cooter?"

"Well...I did kind of find this outside in my dumpster.  Kept it in there rather than let city sanitation haul er' away.  Thought it looked too expensive to just chuck.  Might be a bit oily but I can clean it all up."

"All?"  Gadget and Rotor looked at one another.

"I got a bad feeling about this."

Outside...Michael was speechless.  I guess the word was stressed and horrified beyond words.

"Oh man...it's just like the file from 2000 said..."

"What?"

Azzy clammed up.  Michael wasn't supposed to hear that.  About K.I.T.T.'s future when the Knight Foundation was under new management.  I'd have to keep probes up on Mr. Maddock before then.  And...enjoy the time we had left with Devon up to that tragic day.

This was what sucks about being immortal and knowing the future of everyone you're destined to lose.  I'd...still not come to terms with Egon Spengler.  As long as I visited him in the 80's things would be fine.  But...what happens when 2020 rolls around on his world?

"I'll get my soldering gun..."  Rotor rubbed the back of his head as Michael sorted through the stacks of wiring, circuit boards, and additional electrical components and odds and ends.

"Somewhere out there K.I.T.T.'s being driven without his iconic Alpha Sensor."

Asriel clutched the red sweeping L.E.D. bar.  Though since it was now disconnected form everything it had gone dark.  Even that whoosh-whoosh sound wasn't present.

"Forget his sensor!  Where is his random access?  Or his graphics board!?"  Gadget anguished.  "He can't even play a round of Pac-Man in there."

"A car that has Pac-Man in it!  Man, science is crazy these days."  Cooter wiped off his hands with an oily rag.

"We'll get to work getting him back online."

"He's going to be grumpy unless we get him in a body."

Rotor pondered, tempted to rub a tusk then reminding himself he was still in human form.

Asriel hesitated and spoke up.

"I might...have a temporary solution.  But...we're going to have to hook up with those friends of yours, Cooter."

"I'll get em' on the horn for you."  Cooter fired up his C.B. Radio.

"Bo Peep, Bo Peep!  You got your ears on?"

"This is Bo Peep.  What's up, Cooter?"

"I got some city folk here with a real whale of a tale and quite a tall order to ask you and your cousin.  Can they meet you over at the farm?"

"Copy that, Coot.  Send em' over.  We'll hear em' out."

Later on all parties met up at the Duke ranch/farm.

Uncle Jessie was at work feeding the goats.

"Uh...no thanks.  I just ate."  Azzy sweatdropped.  By then we all dropped the disguises.

"I think I got all of that."  Luke finished off his drink.

"They must be pretty clever if they avoided the law for all this."  Frisk spoke up.

Bo and Luke looked at each other.

"What?"  Frisk cocked her head.

"Anyone clever enough to put one over ole' Roscoe doesn't exactly have a high bar to clear."  Bo chuckled.

"Chances are Boss Hogg's probably runnin' some kind of shady deal on the side."

"You know I bet he would go so far as to offer our thieves something in exchange for heisting the General Lee next."  Asriel pondered.

"Yeah, he would do something that ornery."  Jessie stroked his beard.  "If I know J.D. Hogg, he's already following the money trail, hoping to get a piece of the pie."

"Speaking of which.  Seconds!"  Rotor held up his plate.

"Hoo-wee, you sure can pack em' away."  Luke noted.

"Remind me to bring you all one of Mom's butterscotch cinnamon pies.  It's so big you'll be eating dessert for weeks."

"I might take you up on that kindly offer."  Jessie patted Azzy on the head.

"Ehehe...I'm never going to escape the livestock stereotypes here, am I?"

"Let's just get K.I.T.T. back or I'll never hear the end of it from Bonnie."  Michael slipped his leather jacket back on.

"Yeah you said you got all of your fancy car's doodad's back.  But what did you need our help with."

"Well...it's kind of a big request.  And only temporary, I assure you."

Bo, Luke, and Daisy looked at each other for a bit, a bit confused.

And so, inside the barn.

"...and that outta do it."  I put the hood down.  "Plug her in, Azzy."

Asriel slide in the Alpha Circuit.

A few seconds later after some start up beeps, some lights on the dashboard and the TV screens coming to life.

\* Whooo-whooooosh....whoo-whooosh...whooo-whooosh... \*

"Michael!  Thank goodness!  I thought I had lost you."

"Right back atcha, buddy boy."

"Michael...this...doesn't quite feel right.  And...why am I suddenly talking with a Southern Drawl?"

"Yeah...about that."

"Well jack my rabbits.  If that don't beat all!"

"Never thought I'd see the day the General would talk at us."

"General?  What are you talking about?  Michael, what did you do!?"

Michael chuckled.

"Oh boy if you could just see this, partner."

Asriel covered up his sly grin.

"Oh...no...."  the car rolled out of the barn in its orange Charger glory with the stars and bars on top and the racing number 01 on the side.

"Michael!  You didn't!"

"This is gonna be the ride of a life time."

"So...which of us drives?"  Bo asked.

"..."

One paper-rock-scissors later...

"Oh quit scowling cousin.  You lost fair and square."

The tightest of squeezes fitting me in back with the Duke Cousins and the Azzy riding shotgun.

"You know this isn't half bad...in a really rustic sort of way."

"Speak for yourself, Michael."

"Best upgrade ever."  Asriel grinned as he fist-bumped me.

Bunnie looked on from where she, Violet, and Frisk were aboard Daisy's jeep.

"Standing by."  Rotor and Gadget were shotgun in Cooter's tow truck.

"And to make sure..."  Harmony mused as she finished tying the back of Roscoe's police cruiser to the light post and plugged the megaphone into the tape recorder.

"And the line is cast and the bait is ready.  Bring on the big fish."  Harmony hit play as she blared a recording of the General Lee revving and blaring its custom horn that played Dixie.

She aimed it right at Boss Hogg's window to boot.

A crash and some yelling inside.

"Dad blast it!  Them Duke Boys is at it a-gee-yun!  Roscoe get your dipstick hide out there and arrest them Dukes!"

"Uh right away!  C'mon, Flash!  We finally gonna git 'dem Duke Boys! A gee-gee-gee-geeyguh!"

"And to set the stage..."  Harmony double checked the tire tracks she painted on the street and with a blast of my modified leaf-blower she was able to kick up a sizeable dust cloud leaning out of town.

"And that little stunt there should delay him long enough that he doesn't get caught up to our boys in the orange too soon before they have a chance to intercept the hijackers."

Meanwhile...

"I've got a lock on my shell's molecular bonded armor.  It's heading due west at a speed I didn't think I'd ever have trouble catching up.'

"Now I know you're not badmouthin' the General Lee.  She's got more horses under the hood than the OK Corral!"

"For your sake, Mr. Duke I hope you and your cousin are right.  I can't exactly get a bead on this engine without my sensor array installed."  K.I.T.T. responded to Luke.

"Ah you don't need all that high tech fancy doo-dads!  Just unleash the beast and let the General do what he was made to do!  Win races!"  Bo replied.

"And so..."

"Oooh, Flash!  Them Dukes has gone too far, wreckin' my vehicle!  Gyuh-gyuh-gyuh!  I tell you my fat ole buddy gonna take it outta my salary!  We was lucky we got another cruiser in the lot,  Gee-gee-gee-gee-gee!"

The basset hound lazily looked on from the passenger's seat.

"I better get that dipstick nephew of mine on the horn before they get away.  Attention, Cletus!  Get your pinhead out of the clouds and your ears on!  This is Sherriff ROSCOOOOOOOOOE P. COLTRAIN!  I am in hot pursuit of them thar Duke Boys!  They's-a dun it now!  They broke every speed law in town and wrecked a perfectly good police vehicle.  Cletus you get on the road and cut them off before they book it outta town, ya hear!?"

"Like a charm.  And a bit o' luck on the side."  Foxy Colleen had met up with Harmony, offering a fist-bump.

"Easier than leadin' a starving horse to a carrot farm, hon."

"I see the convoy up ahead, Volt!"  Azzy leaned out the passenger door and checked with the binoculars.

"They're within range of my Micro-Jam.  However it won't be effective on my stolen body."

"Just worry about the trucks.  We'll take your body on our own terms."

"I was afraid you were going to say that.  But I remind they still have my Turbo Boost function."

"Turbo Boost?"  Luke questioned.

"A feature installed that allows us to get...how shall I put it...vertical."

"You mean like jumpin' a ravine?"

"In so many words."

"Shoot you don't need anything fancy like that!  You just need to know Hazard County like we do."

"Excuse me?"

"Luke you think that abandoned truck hauling that ramp is still where we left it from the you-know-what?"

"Sure as shootin', cousin."

"I think I follow where you two are going with this.  A bit low-tech, but I could get to like that plan.

"What are you three conspiring...oh no.  No.  Out of the question.  This car's A-frame and suspension will never handle it."

"Don't be too sure.  The General's a tough nut to crack."

"It's not the nuts I'm worrying about cracking."

I could hear Vi chortle over the C.B.

"Stop that, Vi!"

By that point Daisy and Cooter caught up with us and before long we could hear Roscoe's siren and him blaring on the C.B. to pull over and that we were all under arrest.

"Catch us if you can."  Violet blew a kiss toward him, which only flustered him further.

"I swear I'm seein' things, Flash.  That looked like the biggest dang jackrabbit I ever did see with my own eyes."

Flash barked once.

"Alright, Mike.  Gun it!"

And sure enough, the Micro-Jam had taken out the others, leaving Daisy and Cooter and all the rest to round up most of the slick three-piece suit wearing felons in dark shades.

Yeah...those Italian suits?  Not very subtle if they didn't want anyone to know they were professionals.

And Michael floored it just before going up the ramp and jumping the car higher than I thought a dodge charger could go.

We all screamed a collective:

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!"

And we crashed down and skidded out in front of K.I.T.T.'s body in time for me to jolt it with a electricity from both hands and shut its electrical systems down.

"Hey, Garth."  Michael climbed out of the car and ran over and decked his bearded doppelganger.

All the while, Bo and Luke climbed out and got into some fisticuffs with some of the other henchmen who tried to flee.

"This case is wrapped up."

"Not soon enough.  Call Bonnie down here with the semi.  And get me out of this...this...!"

"Choose your words carefully in front of our new friends, partner."

K.I.T.T. just scoffed.

After a lengthy session of reinstalling everything and getting the Trans-Am back up and online.

"Alright you lawbreakers!  You have the right to remain silent!  Anything you say or do can be held against you in a court of law!"  Roscoe was tickled pink to make the biggest bust of his career any time soon.

"You finally did something right, Roscoe!"

"You better believe it.  I rounded up the meanest, orneriest of city slicker car-jackers I ever did see!  I'm haulin' them all back to the county jail as we speak!"

Deputy Cletus led the last one away as deputy Enos Straight took a moment to catch up with Daisy and make sure all was okay.  It was reassuring that while Roscoe employed one dipstick on his payroll, the other one at least had a heart of gold.

"Y'all look us up if you ever are in Hazard County again."  Daisy offered.

"It's a promise."  Bunnie smiled.  Frisk just waved after fixing the cowboy hat she was given as a souvenir.

"So...one last thing I need to clear up, Vi.  It's about when we asked the Dukes for help at Moo Mesa."  I confronted Vi.

I put my hands on my hips.

"You didn't think I'd let this go, would you?  Explain how you got the Duke cousins to degrade themselves with the Three Amigos salute?"

"Well...funny story."  Bo started.

"Yeah and not like ha-ha funny."  Luke followed up

"It kind of started with losing a bet--"  Bo  explained.

"Nevermind...that tells me everything I didn't want to know."  I rubbed my temples.

"Next time she puts you up to that don't do it."

"Actually one more item."  Bunnie said as she fished a phone book out of the trunk of the General Lee, careful not to upset the shipment of...liquid assets.

\*sniff sniff\*  "Did Jessie-sama add lemon to the latest batch?"  Bunnie lowered an eyebrow.

"Well--"

"Tell him it's a bad idea."  Harmony replaced the jar of clear liquid back with the others.

"As for you..."  Bunnie whapped Vi over the head with the phone book.

"You know why."

"Oww.  Worth it."  Still worth it."

Bunnie replaced the directory.

"What was that thing?"  Frisk asked.

"Uh...I think they used to call them the Yellow Pages.  Apparently back when people had to look up other people's phone numbers in a giant book."

"That is so weird."  Frisk rubbed the back of her head.

"Now I feel old."  I grumbled.

We packed up and went our separate ways.  Michael speeding off back to L.A. in California, that familiar song playing its outro.  Still not sure how "theme music" works in our dimension.  Some day it'll make sense.

We headed back through the Cyber Gate.

And the Dukes?  Already back on the road, trying to ditch Rosco.

"Y'all come back now.  Y'hear?"  Jessie mused from the porch swing of the Duke homestead.

CRYPTOSMASHER LOGOFF

END TRANSMISSION...

Chapter 34

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