Welcome to Mountport

***Welcome to Mountport*** is a spinoff episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* featured on CollegeHumor's Game Show "Game Changer," hosted by Sam Reich. The format of the episode is that of a game show, though points are less meaningful than usual as the focus is on the musical rather than the game. The end results of the game were 5 points to Zeke, 5 to Zach and 6 to Jess. This episode was the inspiration for the Dropout Original Series Play It By Ear.

The episode “The Official Cast Recording” starring Zeke Nicholson, takes place in the fictional New England mountain-slash-seaside town of Mountport, to which our hero Alexa has moved in order to improve her baseball skills and make it big. But unbeknownst to her, she is set to fulfil a prophecy old as time, while a certain somebody schemes to stop her....

## Plot

### Act I

The curtains open to a newsie announcing the daily news&emdash;"The fish are gone." He admits he does not know where they went, since he doesn't write the news, just distributes it. This claim is substantiated by a nearby fisherman begrudgingly returning to land empty-handed. Two old ladies gossip about their friend Gladis, who they believe to have stolen all the fish in Mountport. While a young boy named Timothy is sentenced to house arrest "on account of the crimes," various townsfolk discuss the geographical anomolies of their town, and their collective decision not to question it ("Welcome to Mountport").

Meanwhile, our hero, Alexa, who has just arrived in Mountport from Prairieville, Louisiana explains her reason for moving- to become a famous baseball player who, supposedly, can hit a home run off her own pitch ("A Brand New Situation"). She elaborates that in Prairieville, the locals would not give her the time of day, believing she would never be able to hit the ball fast enough to become a professional. Mountport's prestigious baseball time is holding tryouts, which she has come to partake in.

On the way, she meets the newsie from earlier, who gives her advice on how to survive and become a big deal in Mountport ("Three Rules of Mountport"), including their local custom of saying "hi" to those they do not know and "hi-ho" to those they have met before, not to eat too much tuna despite it being "beyond belief" due to its ability to make one vomit, and to under no circumstances climb the big tree, as there is a woman at the top who is "not okay." She thanks him for this knowledge and bids him farewell.

In downtown Mountport, the rougher, less-friendly side of town, we meet two buskers, who face head to head in an intense rivalry. Closeby, atop the sole skyscraper in Mountport, we meet the villain of the story- Tina Johnson. She reveals herself to be the lady in the tree from earlier, who decided she could not be as mean as she wished to be in a tree, and must move to a skyscraper. Her subservient assistant Pinocchio enters, explaining that she cannot build her tower any taller, as it will cast as shadow on the baseball field. She reveals this to be her ultimate plan, in order to prevent the fulfilment of the prophecy of the Baseball-Playing Girl who will topple her reign. She explains that the game must be played in the light for the prophecy to come true, and thus she plans to permanently shroud the baseball field of the town in darkness with her skyscraper ("Tear Her Down").

### Act II

On a train to Palm Springs, California, where a week-long spring training course is taking place for the baseball team, Alexa and Tina end up in the same traincar. Tina deduces that Alexa is the girl in the prophecy by questioning her repeatedly, much to Alexa's confusion. She instructs the girl to sit with her, and as Alexa explains how the dark is her one weakness, a fight between the two occurs, during which Tina turns the lights of the carriage off to intimidate Alexa, who asserts she is still determined to win ("Ticket to Nowhere").

A week later, the group return to Mountport, where the newsie sells papers claiming the fish were, in fact, stolen by Tina, and Gladis had simply been the scapegoat. This comes as a shock to the old ladies from before, who feel guilty for wrongfully blaming their friend, and decide to go half-and-half on a fruit basket, which they agree is "too expensive" considering it's "mostly melon." One busker turns to the other, gifting him his guitar, as he has been accepted into business school ("Business School"). However, after Alexa donates to him for his singing, he realises he can do both and takes his guitar back.

Alexa concludes that, as Tina's skyscraper has grown so much in such a short period of time, it must not be made of strong materials. She realises that, should this be the case, it would be easy to dismantle it bare-handed. She asks the newsie to spread across the town her rallying message, to bring down the tower collectively, beam by beam, to stop her scheme to rule the world ("What Money Can't Buy"). Quickly, a large crowd gathers, in it the two old women, the two buskers, Timothy, who is quickly told to get back indoors, the newsie and Alexa herself. While Tina at first resists, telling Pinocchio to build faster to counteract the destruction of her building, she is soon overpowered and brought to the ground.

Alexa pleads to Tina to change, that Mountport is a great town that will take her in if she lets it. Tina reveals that she did not want to be evil- she moved to Mountport to become a train conductor. Suddenly, the newsie comes by waving papers announcing the much-beloved train conductor has died from eating too much tuna fish, an echo of his warning from earlier. Tina decides this is her chance to start anew, and vows to stop being "Mean Tina" and start being "Sexy Tina, Train Conductress."

The newsie realises it's noon, which is the time the big baseball game is due to begin. Alexa readies herself, and, as promised, hits a clean home run off her own pitch. As the crowd cheers, her ball goes straight into the remnant's of Tina's tower destroying it for good, fulfiling the prophecy once and for all. She thanks Mountport for taking in an outsider like herself, and the show ends with her assertion that "no home run is worth it if you can't run back to a home you love," a sentiment shared by the rest of the main and supporting cast ("A Home You Love [Finale]"), and with the final words of "Next Stop: Palm Springs," the curtains close.

**Show/Hide**
## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Alexa
* Old Woman #1
* Unnamed townsperson
* Unnamed truck driver

### Zach Reino

* Newsie
* Pinocchio
* Old Woman #2
* Busker #1
* Train conductor
* Unnamed police officer
* Unnamed truck driver

### Zeke Nicholson

* Tina Johnson
* Busker #2
* Timothy
* Unnamed train attendant
* Unnamed businessman

## Songs

#### Act 1

* "Welcome to Mountport" (03:01)
* "A Brand New Situation" (05:23)
* "Three Rules of Mountport" (07:35)
* "Tear Her Down" (12:47)

#### Act 2

* "Ticket to Nowhere" (17:39)
* "Business School" (21:31)
* "What Money Can't Buy" (23:56)
* "A Home You Love [Finale]" (29:19)