A Kender in Hell

*Adventuring in the planes might seem like a whole different barrel of fish to those who haven't yet scanned the chant. What's there to do? Where's a basher to go? What's the real difference between planar and prime adventurers?*

*Relax, Berk. Planar adventurers are like prime characters, mostly. They still go adventuring to spice up their lives; they still seek fame and fortune - 'cept that's far more fleeting in the planes. Celebrity comes only from behavior so outrageous as to shock even the bloods - and it's never certain, even then.*

*So what's key about the planars?*  ***They know that philosophy can change their worlds.***

## Characters Involved

* Grim Grey the Human Binder played by Jeff (Grim's thoughts on his new companions)
* Vairgar Loegil the Aasimar Crusader played by Dana
* Hopper Nightshade the Kender Nightstalker played by Donnie
* *Xarno Darksky* the Were-Rat Swordsage played by Greg
* Marchosias the fallen angel played by Justin (DM NPC)

## Introduction

*How did those five rubes get themselves out of Avernus without ending up in the dead-book? Well here's the dark of it. It all started when four of em' got themselves hipped straight into Baator. Not a lot of faster ways for a basher to get themselves boxed either. Well after a bit o' help from a proper planewalker named Xarno the addle-cove berks were able to escape and get back to the bird cage.*

Grim Grey, fleeing persecution on *Megatron* (a planet of the prime material plane), activated a portal that was supposed to take him to *Sigil*.
Vairgar Loegil had gone to sleep that night in his well-ordered life on *Arcadia*. Hopper Nightshade mixed a black-robed wizard's magical dust into his baked goods on *Krynn*. Xarno was doing what he was normally doing in *Sigil* when he inexplicably activated and entered an unmarked portal.

The four cutters found themselves in a barren red wasteland with fireballs streaming haphazardly from the infinite expanse above. It was hot, almost painfully so, where they stood. The screams of the tortured blew past them on the wind. As the magic that brought them there was expended, a hideous half-fiend fell back away from the conduit in surprise. The four stood upon a pentagram, covered in nefarious infernal symbols.

After a brief interrogation, the party discovered that this was a one way portal into hell; there would be no easy escape back the way they had come. The fiend revealed that they were in *Baator* (specifically *Avernus*, the first layer of hell). Cowardly by nature, the fiend pretended to cast a spell and tried to escape. Vairgar immediately slammed his greatsword into the fiend, but its resistant skin ignored some of the damage and it began to fly away.

Suddenly a dark angel appeared, leaping up from beneath the height of the plateau. While in midflight he unfurled a rope that snaked around the fiend's leg. With it anchored, the dark-feathered one swung off the edge of the plateau, slamming the fiend roughly into the ground. Despite its natural armor, the party made short work of the fiend as it lay prone. Once it was slain, the party turned to confront the dark angel.

Angelic in all features save his dark hair, beard, and feathered wings, the angel clearly showed signs of some terrible physical weakness. Barely supporting his own body weight and moving sluggishly, the angel introduced himself as Marchosias. After a short discussion, Marchosias proudly expounded upon his philosophy of the planes; it seemed evident that his personal beliefs had something to do with his fall from grace. As he spoke, the dark angel would switch back and forth, referring to himself sometimes as a celestial and sometimes as a devil. He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with the Blood War (the eternal battle between the demons and devils) and was trying to escape from the *Nine Hells* by any means necessary.

As the conduit they had used to enter the *Nine Hells* was only one-way, Grim made a deal with Marchosias. The dark angel agreed to lead the party to another portal; in return, Grim agreed to do anything within his power to make sure Marchosius was able to escape along with the rest of the party. Vairgar and Xarno both refused to make a similar deal with Marchosius; the aasimar and the were-rat knew only too well the risks of striking a bargain with a devil. Hopper Nightshade couldn't understand what anyone was saying but began hearing planar trade translation in his head.

The party pushed on towards a mountainous fort where a portal to *Sigil* supposedly existed. Marchosias told the others that he had learned of the existence of this portal from some mortal "witch" living in hell. After fording the *River of Blood*, the party beheld a curious landmark. Deciding to make a slight detour, they approached the *Pillar of Skulls,* ahideous tower of sentient trophy-skulls of those killed in the Blood War. The pillar reached more than a mile in height, ascending grotesquely into the red skies of *Baator*.

While many of the skulls offered deals to the travelers, none were accepted. Adding insult to injury, the party left the skull of the leader (some form of giant) with a kender bolt through its face. With little water remaining, the travelers arrived at the base of the mountain and found shelter within the rocks, collapsing in near exhaustion. Openly declaring they didn't trust Marchosias, the party set a watch. Ten minutes into the first shift, Hopper fell asleep in his armor.

Vairgar awoke with a start, confused as to why he wasn't awoken for his shift. He asked Marchosias how long he had been sleeping for. "About eight hours," was the devil's reply. "And how long has the kender been sleeping?" demanded the aaasimar. "About ten minutes less than that," laughed Marchosias. Some of the group, particularly Xarno and Vairgar, were angry with the kender. Marchosias (who passed his knowledge check to identify kenders) explained to the party that Hopper wasn't a halfling and informed them about kenders in general.

As the party rested outside the mountainous complex, Grim's raven, a gift of the vestige Malphus, spotted some enemies rapidly approaching the door to the citadel. The party decided to attack the group (made up of two tieflings and two fiendish hobgoblins) before they could reach the safety of their mountain stronghold. The assault left Grim and Vairgar in precarious health. They found some fiendish forged gear, a fiendish mask made of platinum, and a wand. Grim attempted to identify the gear using the power of his vestige Naberius but all he was able to do was find the command word on a wand. Marchosias identified the infernal word and Hopper was able to use the wand to heal the party.

Calling again on the power of Naberius, Grim was able to disguise himself as a tiefling. Vairgar donned the fiendish armor they had looted from their vanquished foes. Appropriately disguised, they began their assault on the slaver's foundry, using guile to slip inside without raising the alarm. They successfully slew many by surprise with the help of Xarno and the kender, who crept behind the larger humanoids as they strode through the complex. Eventually, Hopper found a secret door into the very heart of the citadel, and the party fought a last desperate battle to escape the *Nine Hells*.

The final battle was difficult, and the party feared they had come all this way only to be added to the dead-book. Xarno was dealt a savage blow by one of the massive fiends but was still able to flip the fiendish hobgoblin onto his back. Surrounded, the fiend foolishly attempted to fight to his feet! Every ally began landing their blows onto the fiend. Even Grim, nearly dead himself and laying prone, was able to strike the hideous creature and assist in its demise.

With Hopper using his newly acquired wand to heal the party, and Vairgar landing massive blows to every enemy who dared step within range of his greatsword, the tide of the battle turned. As the rest of the fiends were destroyed, the wicked tiefling witch found herself alone. She tried in vain to get Marchosias to switch sides, but with the devil's refusal, she was forced to surrender. In exchange for her life, the witch led the party to the portal and told them how to activate it.

Initially, Marchosias was unable to enter the portal. The Lady of Pain's prohibition on devils entering *Sigil* from *Baator* prevented his passing. Grim offered to bludgeon him unconscious in the hope that if the devil was more dead than alive then perhaps he could pass into *Sigil*. Ultimately, Marchosias weighed his options and decided it was a risk worth taking. Grim bludgeoned Marchosias in the back of the head and Marchoasias hit the ground hard. Inexplicably the plan worked; Grim entered the portal out of *Baator* dragging the near dead body of Marchosias behind him.

Safe once again in *Sigil*, Marchosias lay dying at the feet of the party. Hopper had gone through the portal first, and typical of the kender he and his infernal wand of healing were nowhere to be found. Xarno and Vairgar stood looking at Grim, wondering what they should do with the devil. Would Marchosias survive the *Nine Hells*, only to die after finally reaching the relative safety of the famed *City of Doors*? Would the party, brought together and forged into an efficient team while facing the horrors of *Baator*, continue their adventures together in *Sigil* and beyond? And what cosmic force brought the four of them together in the first place?