Nathan's Famous with Jon Gabrus, Mike Hanford & Griffin Newman (live)

"Dogdoughbarkfest: Nathan's Famous with Jon Gabrus, Mike Hanford & Griffin Newman" is Episode 324 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Dogdoughbarkfest: Nathan's Famous with Jon Gabrus, Mike Hanford & Griffin Newman" was released on October 28, 2021.

## Synopsis

Jon Gabrus (*High and Mighty*), Mike Hanford (The Sloppy Boys) and Griffin Newman (*Blank Check*) join the 'boys for the live finale of **Dogdoughbarkfest** in New York City and review Nathan's Famous.

Recorded live at the Gramercy Theater in New York City (on October 23, 2021).

## Nick's intro

"*Everyone in the crowd kept chanting 'Let him eat! Let him eat!' So I jumped on to the stage to prove that I am still the champ, but I was arrested."*

These are the words of Takeru Kobayashi, remarking on his 2010 trespassing arrest at the Coney Island Hot Dog Contest he once dominated. Kobayashi, aka. The Tsunami, aka. The Prince, aka. The Godfather of Competitive Eating, became an instant celebrity at the event on July 4, 2001, when he shattered the world record by consuming fifty hot dogs in twelve minutes (twice as many as the previous year's champion).

Kobayashi's jaw-dropping feat, no doubt amplified by his wiry frame and his "Fosbury Flop"-level innovation of separating the dogs and buns before consumption, made him competitive eating's first breakout star and helped turn the burgeoning sport into just a sport. He went on to win the competition's mustard belt six straight times; thrice breaking the world record - ultimately raising the bar to 53 and 3/4 HDB (that's competitive eating lingo for "hot dog with bun").

Few would suspect in 2005 that the third-place finisher, who consumed a comparatively modest 32 HDB, would be the one to soon claim Kobayashi's throne: American Joey Chestnut, aka. Jaws. Chestnut returned to the contest in 2006 and made a spirited turn, but The Tsunami's tide could not be held back and he finished second. But in his third attempt, in 2007, ironically aided by a Kobayashi jaw injury, the man named Jaws finally won it all; 66 HDB to 63 - both of which broke the world record.

Chestnut would win the rematches in 2008 and 2009, and the bitter rivalry would find its bitter end in a contract dispute that led to Kobayashi's aforementioned arrest. (Kobayashi has not returned to the contest since.) Chestnut suspects his defeated foe is dodging a rematch while Kobayashi has floated unsubstantiated allegations Jaws is cheating at eating.

As for the contest itself, it traces its origins to 1916, the same year a hot-dog stand was opened by a Polish immigrant who gave it his first name; though the competition in its current form wasn't officially convened until July 4, 1972. The one-time neighborhood competition is now the Super Bowl of eating, conducted amidst throngs of cheering fans and broadcast live on ESPN; an appropriately American Independence Day tradition - people eating processed food until they throw up.

And though Kobayashi may have been the man who put the contest on the map, Chestnut has asserted his dominance as its all-time GOAT. His Coney Island Contest record stands at 74 HDB and the mustard belt has found its way around his surprisingly-slender waistline a record fourteen times, but Jaws considers his greatest accomplishment his first win over The Tsunami back in 2007: "It's the only time in my life I did something where the majority of people thought was impossible."

This week on *Doughboys*, we conclude **Dogdoughbarkfest 2021**, a month-long grillebration of hot dogs and pet dogs, with Nathan's Famous.

## Fork rating

* Hot Dog Bun
* Onion Rings
* Cheese Fries
* Nathan's Creamy Orange Shake
 Mike Mitchell
* Bacon Cheese Dog (with Sauerkraut and Sauteed Onions)
* Chili Cheese Dog (with Sauteed Onions)
* Original Hot Dog (with Sauteed Onions)
* Onion Rings
* Cheese Fries
* Fried Oysters
* Calamari
* Brookie
* Creamy Orange Shake
* Cheeseburger [Dano's order]
 Jon Gabrus
* Chili Cheese Dog
* Cheeseburger
* Plain Fries
 Mike Hanford
* Hot Dog
* Chili Cheese Hot Dog
* Cheeseburger
* Plain Fries
 Griffin Newman

Mitch went to the original Nathan's on Coney Island with Dano and his wife, thus the larger order.

Gabrus ordered his Nathan's from a delivery service in Portland, OR.

Hanford went with Ben Axelrad to a Nathan's which apparently was a counter in a gas station.

Griffin also ordered the NY Cheesesteak Dog, but for some reason did not have a wiener in it, so he did not consider it. He also ordered Onion Rings, but thought they were not actually from Nathan's, so also did not consider them.

## The Feedbag

Nick's full legal name is Nicolas Frank Wiger, but sometimes he goes by Frank:

## Let Me Be Frank

Grit on my grill gettin' greasy and gritty
Toast bun, don't it look pretty
Suckin' on a dog like you're suckin' on a titty
Pork and beef sausages and long bread
Rollin' on a roller grill, must've been relish

One bite, it's a different world
Swap dog bites with a girl
Munch on, munch on, and chomp all night
Despite the farts, it'll be alright
That taste when the casing has snapped
Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap
As it simmers in the city*
Like you're suckin' on a titty

Frying all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hot dog
Frying all the time
You ain't never been a burger
And you ain't no lunch of mine

They said you a sandwich
Well, that was just a lie
Yea, they said you a sandwich
Well, that was just a lie
You're just a bun around a wiener
So you sure don't qualify*

You've got a frank in me
When your pantry is out of bed
And it's hours and hours till you might be fed
You just remember what the Doughboys said
Bun, you've got a friend in me*

You want answers?

**I think I'm entitled to.**

You want answers?!

**I wanna be frank!**

You can't handle being frank!

Son, we live in a world that has grills and these grills have to be guarded by men with tongs. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Cheeseburg? I have a greater appetite than you could possibly fathom. You weep for sausage and you curse the barbecue. You have that luxury!

You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That sausage being overcooked, while tragic, probably saved calories. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves calories.

You don't want to be frank 'cause deep down in places you don't want to talk about at restaurants, you want me on that grill. You need me on that grill!

We use words like 'honor', 'code,' 'medium rare.' We use these words as the baby-back rib-bone of a life spent defending something. You use them on a menu!

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and eats atop the tablecloth of the very freedom that I deep-fry and then questions the manner for which I prepare it!!

I would rather you just said, "Mmm that's tasty" and went on your way!

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a spatula and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a ham what you think or you're entitled to!

**Did you order the hot dog?**

I prepare the dishes.

**Did you order the hot dog?**

YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!

You won't find out until they're grilled

Well, I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me and baby, I got you

Frank
I got you, Frank
I got you, Frank*

In this segment, Mitch searches Google for 'hot dog' and discovers the latest news about hot dogs. They then discuss!

The news that week was apparently focused on someone dying during a hot-dog eating contest, so since that's a bummer, they just move straight into The Live Feedbag. (Mitch does quickly mention this story about a kid running a hot-dog stand to pay for medical bills, and a story of a hot dog being named after the Scorsese film, *The Irishman*.)

## Quotes

**Mitch**: He's stretching! You're stretching? Folks, now you can see how he can do it, right? A live glimpse of how flexible Nick is. You get it now.

## The Feedbag

 Mike Mitchell
 Jon Gabrus
 Mike Hanford

 Jon Gabrus
 Mike Hanford

 Mike Mitchell
 Jon Gabrus
 Griffin Newman
 Mike Hanford

 Jon Gabrus
 Griffin Newman

## Photos

Onion RingsNathan's Creamy Orange Shake and Coney Island Brewery Beach BeerCheese FriesHot Dog BunCheese FriesOriginal Hot Dog and Chili Cheese DogBacon Cheese DogCalamariFried OystersNathan's Creamy Orange ShakeBrookie