Mr. Morty

"Pig fuckers!"

### Dislikes

The beach, tipping, ordering food, jelly fish, ball chafing, motha' fuckas' hitting on his girl, GradeAUnderA, dark chocolate, deliverymen forgetting condoments for his food

### Recognizes Kosovo?

No

Mortimer J. Velasquez was a 48 year old famous YouTuber known for his channel "Mr. Morty" where he posts videos about things such as likes, dislikes, life lessons, pipe bomb making instructions, satire, response videos, israeli legitimacy, and food reviews.

## YouTube career

Mr. Morty hit the YouTube scene on June 2 2016 where he found great success with his first video called "Squeezing Tits prank (with hot girls) gone sexual!!!1 \*\*\*ALMOST DIED\*\*\* (gone wild) 2016.....Nearly Buttfucked ;)", the video managed to garner 696,969 views in the first 2 days of it being uploaded. With his instant success Mr. Morty would go on to make a proper channel introduction and two videos explaining his likes/dislikes about but this fortune wouldn't last long as a much smaller and more obscure channel named "GradeAUnderA" would shamelessly copy Morty's prank video and gain 7.8 million views causing almost everyone to believe he was the one to come up with the idea, GradeAUnderA would use this misconception to copyright claim the original and get it taken down because YouTubes copyright system sucks elephant balls. Utterly devastated by loosing his at the time 27th most popular video Morty would develop an addiction to Benadryl to help cope with the pain and grief of loosing what felt like his right testicle to him.

## Shoot out with police and subsequent death

On the morning of April 29th 2018 Police were called by distraught neighbors that a man was walking around speaking Samoan while shooting a shotgun randomly in his front yard. Deputies were quickly dispatched to the rapidly deteriorating scene and found that the suspect had now barricaded himself in his house upon hearing their sirens in the distance, the officers quickly called for backup seeing this was evolving into something much more dangerous. By the time the man had open his second story window and looked out there was now a dozen cop cars and even a swat unit with riot shields, this sent the man into a frenzy and almost immediately after poking his head out he then proceeded to throw what is theorized to be a make shift bomb and smoke grenades into the sea of cops. Now that everyone below was either blinded or injured the now domestic terrorist pulled out an MG-42 and rained bullets down on the half blinded police instantly killing 7 cops and causing the rest to duck for cover. Thankfully the carnage would not take another life as after the man began shooting, a swat member with a sniper fired at the gunman directly in the head killing him. Now that he was neutralized, the gunman's house was then able to be raided and his body being found where it was discovered that the identity of the shooter was 48 year old Mortimer J. Velasquez

## Trivia

* Mr. Morty claimed to be a member of an Anarcho-Marxist group in Angola but this was never confirmed
* Mr Morty once challenge GradeAUnderA to a boxing match but this was canceled because Morty sat on his nutsack the night before
* Morty's father once met Dwane Johnson
* Mr. Morty has been canceled on twitter 3 times