Episode 77: World Wide War

**Video:**
1:02:26

**Video:**
world wide war.mp4

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

War is a terrible thing, it makes me sad panda, but at the same  time there are a lot of good things about war like how the economy  becomes better to make bombs faster. So what if we went to war and the  economy was sooooo good after? Would it be worth it?

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide War
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Well, Drew, you remember earlier in the episode when uh you were getting very upset because I was talking about how you very clearly hate women and that was kind of a thing that was making you upset? (Drew: "Fuck off.") Yeah, ex-- well, exactly, it makes you very -- I think we need to kind of bring that sort of uhh animosity to the world stage! Um -- (Drew: "How about I bring that animosity to you?") Well, what's that supposed to mean? (Drew: "What's it sound like it means?") You could! What does that -- You got --? (Drew: "Yeah, I could.") Are you threatening me? (Drew: "I'm not threatening you.") It would be the first time you've picked a fight with a man in a long time, I'll tell you that. (Drew: "Fuck off. I pick fights with men every single day of my life.") And that's what I'm trying to say! You get -- you -- you're kind of a case study example for what I'm trying to get at this week is: you kind of get off on picking fights with people, and it kind of propels you forw-- it drives you! (Drew: "That's not true at all!") It's like burning coal inside of a oven inside of you to keep you going, and I think we could all learn from this! And I think that it's time... for all of us... to embrace a World Wide War.
* Timetable: No timetable was given, but once Josiah starts taking a dump on the lawns of everyone in Montreal, World Wide War will presumably be commencing soon thereafter.
* Idea details:
	+ There hasn't been a World War since the 1970's, and since it's been long enough since the last war, World Wide War will solve that problem by bringing animosity to the world stage.
	+ If we start a war, it will be good for the economy.
	+ War also has poetic value because without war, there would be no beautiful metaphors for art and music.
	+ We will learn from the mistakes of the past to make sure we do World Wide War differently.
	+ Whether we like it or not, a war is coming.
	+ Without a real war, we won't be able to call the TV show *The War At Home*.
	+ Society right now is like a really busy Sunday at The Keg, and everyone is freaking out and the reservation system is not working, so war is about to happen and we need to control the narrative.
	+ World Wide War will be Josiah and Drew against the world. They will become renegade fighters and, in future on the show, they will officially declare war on planet Earth and society once the time is right. People will not be allowed to join their army.
	+ The goal of Josiah and Drew's World Wide War will not be to kill everyone or conquer, but rather to simply control everything in the world. They will not say one way or the other whether people will die or not.
	+ Josiah will be Drew's subordinate in World Wide War.
	+ Josiah and Drew will start a fake newspaper that creates fake news and they'll create a war between all of the different nations by sending them different copies of the same newspaper. For example, they will send one to the USA with a main headline that says China has declared war on the USA. Meanwhile, they will send one to China that says USA has declared war on China. This will be like *Tomorrow Never Dies*.
	+ Josiah and Drew will are only declaring war against everyone because they know what's best and they've proven that. They are doing World Wide War to save world, but it will be their world that they save.
	+ Josiah and Drew will have nukes for World Wide War, which will be made by either collecting a bunch of old microwaves and lighting them on fire by plugging them all in at once, or getting a bunch of lighters and taping them together and shooting a bullet through them, or igniting all the lighters at once and lighting up a giant cigar.
	+ The official song of World Wide War will be *Go To War* by Nothing More.
	+ Josiah and Drew's first act of war will be Josiah taking a dump on the lawn of someone in Montreal. After continuing this every day on different people's lawns in Montreal, there will eventually be a Ring cam of him shitting, which will get posted online with a question about if anyone recognizes the shitting man. Drew will respond that he does recognize him and he knows that Josiah Hughes lives in Montreal. From knowing that Josiah lives in proximity to the places that have been getting shit on, and with his knowledge that Josiah does not have a vehicle that would allow him to drive all the way across the city, Drew will be able to triangulate the shitting and figure out where Josiah is. This shows that Drew will be able to stay on top of everything during World Wide War. He will also have other ways to keep his control over Josiah, including having tapes of him shitting, having tapes of him pissing, and going into his bedroom every morning and antiquing him. Drew will be in Josiah's house 24/7.

## Devil Play

* There was no devil play in this episode.

## Notable Events

* Josiah gave Drew the opportunity to apologize to all the women he's harassed and/or harangued this year. Drew refused to do so, saying it was an unfair request, and reiterated that he loves all people, Josiah and women included.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "War Against Capitalism: Refuse to Use Credit Cards" about how one practice for a better & more just society (i.e. freedom from capitalism) is to suspend indefinitely your use of credit cards.......get rid of all your credit cards. Drew provided an alternate point of view to the one expressed in the video, which is to instead pay for everything with your credit card and then you're able to use the money that you actually have and put that into investments.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Legalize Public Nudity!!!!" about how you hate it when all the frames available for a video thumbnail are stupid.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Is War Good?" about war...what is it good for?
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Are Wars Good For The Economy? (Yes or No?)" about how many say that war helps the economy by providing people jobs, boosting productivity, and increased spending.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "the one of best story art of war part 2" about how in this video we will disscuss the art of war the vedio is so amazing watch it completely and subscribe my channel thanks.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "WAR (anxiety poem)" about something I wrote to explain anxiety.
* Josiah and Drew watched the music video for the song *War* by Good Charlotte.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Simon Curtis How To Start A War Lyrics" about the song *How To Start A War* by Simon Curtis.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The 101st Airborne Charges Into German Trenches | Arma 3 WW2 Milsim (2021) | Multiplayer Gameplay" about how the 101st Airborne Divison, 502nd Parachute Infantry Regiment is an Arma 3 Milsim Unit that focuses in WWII milsim.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Vietnam War for dummies" about how this was supposed to be a rap.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "A History Teacher Reacts | The Pig War [Part 1/2] | Oversimplified" about the tale of a land dispute that nearly brought the United States and Great Britain back to war AGAIN!
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Simpsons Predictions for 2022 (WORLD WAR III)" about how The Simpsons have made a number of scary predictions over the years.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "25 great worf son of mogh quotes" about Worf son of Mogh Quotes (1987 - 2002).
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Great War Plans For 2022 - We Need Your Support!" about the upcoming Great War in 2022.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Could There Be a Civil War in 2022? [the gray lady says yes]" about how the world is falling into chaos, and rumors are going around that we are headed toward a real civil war.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The War At Home - All Kenny Scenes" about the people who are thirsty for rami but dont wanna skim past the episodes of this shitty show.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "2022 Jeep Grand Wagoneer vs Cadillac Escalade vs Lincoln Navigator // CIVIL WAR" about how the 2022 Jeep Grand Wagoneer Series III ($130,270 CAD, ~$110,375 USD) is the newest luxury SUV on the block.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "CoinTelevision: Abraham Lincoln and Rick Lank Discuss Civil War Money Matters" about how Dennis Boggs, aka Abraham Lincoln and Rick Lank, Talisman and Coiner Productions Money was a crucial factor in waging the Civil War.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "K & B and the Boys (the Tool Time Band)" about how this is Mickey Jones' 3rd appearance on the hit show, Home Improvement.
* Josiah revealed he was never allowed to watch *Home Improvement* growing up.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What Will Happen In 2022?" about how the world is divided in many different ways.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called ""War Poetry" Raw Oldschool HipHop Beat".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The World Is Against me - Edgar Albert Guest (MOTIVATIONAL POEM)" about a motivational poem for anybody struggling in life.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "2023 ! - War Film (Homemade Short Action Film)" about how in 2022 USA was divided in two and large big states.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Nothing More - Go To War (Lyric Video)" about the lyric video for the song *Go To War* by Nothing More. This will be the official song of World Wide War.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Drew, right off the top: why do you hate women so much?"
* "I'm not talking about Twitter. I'm talking about *in real life*, why do you, Drew, hate women so much?"
* "Did Hitler have a wife? And was she also b-- uh bad?"
* "I'd like a part of the episode that I can clip and post. Just a clean cut of you apologizing to all the women that you've harmed with your posts."
* "What if there was a nudist prison where you had to be nude all the time?"
* [On the topic of a nudist prison] "If it was naked, then it might not be so bad. Cause I think people don't like prison cause the outfit is so drab."
* "Well I think if everyone was nude in public, then it -- you would start worrying about, 'Ohh, how is my hair cut? How is my uh pussy hair looking in the --?' And I'm not trying to be crass, I'm just saying, 'How -- you know, what does my uh pubus, uh cock, and balls hair look like? And I just brushed up -- I was just taking the bus and I accidentally brushed up behind someone and our pubic hair rubbed against each other um and I got smegma on me.' "
* "Well you wouldn't really be shitting your-- there would be no 'yourself' to shit! Because that's the thing: if you're not wearing clothes, you're -- it's impossible to shit yourself! You're always -- the world becomes your toys-- your -- I was thinking 'oyster'. Your 'toyster'. Your toilet."
* "And I think that it's time... for all of us... to embrace a World Wide War. It's been long enough that there hasn't been a war going on. I don't know, it's been probably a few years, I think, and, you know, things are cyclical."
* "I think it's time to think about these questions: is war good?"
* "Sunt. Zoo."
* "The fuck is your problem today??"
* "It's always peace and quiet before the fight."
* "You take your desktop computer to the bathroom to jack off."
* "And, moreover, scientists have developed a jackoff robot? That rubs your dinky?"
* "Well, th-- we're not doing an episode called World Wide Worf. That's not -- this is a serious political show! We're the most trusted w-- I think we are -- it's safe to say we're the tr-- most trusted male political pundits in Canada. We're not gonna be talking about *Star Trak* with everyone."
* [On the topic of K & B and the Boys (the Tool Time Band)] "This has nothing to do with war. Are you trying to sabotage my war episode?"
* "War's coming. They're all saying war's comin'. I mean, look: Bill Gates, uh map, uh space, London, Birmingham, the bea-- the *Old* beach, uh wa-- Fyre Festival, forest. I mean, just call them as you see them. Um a-- ice, trees, map, math, 'Bez', water, uh plane, space! So you can see that there's all these factors at play, it's kind of a pressure cooker waiting for it to happen."
* [On the topic of the coming World Wide War] "Do we wanna let people join our army of us against the world?"
* [On the topic of the coming World Wide War] "And is the goal to kill everyone or to conquer?"
* [On the topic of the video from the future they were watching about the East America / West America Civil War that will take place in 2023 if World Wide War does not happen] "So this is kind of a oracle created this video."
* "I think they're British. I don't know if they're children or British."
* "I think war -- people say stress can age you, but I think sometimes the adrenaline of war can deage you and make you look younger than you are."
* "I mean, th-- what people need to realize is we're declaring war against everyone because we know what's best and we've proven that. So we are doing it to save world, but it will be *our* world that we save. Not theirs. It's World Wide War!"
* "OK, so the fake newspaper idea is great. Do we need uh nukes? I was thinking to make our own nukes, we just collect a whole bunch of old microwaves and then light them on fire. Plug them all in at once."

### Drew

* "I don't hate women. I love women."
* "I love you. I love you, Josiah."
* "I don't hate women."
* "Well, in real life, I, Drew, do not hate women."
* [On the topic of Hitler's wife] "Ms. -- Mrs. Hitler."
* [On the topic of Hitler's wife] "Yeah, she was evil! She loved Hitler! She loved Hitler, Josiah! Of course she's evil!"
* [In response to Josiah's request that Drew send a special Christmas message to all the women he's hurt this year] "Josiah, fuck you. You're so unfair. You're so unfair. You're *so* unfair. It's -- you're so unfair to me. It's such an unfair thing to do to me."
* "Fuck you, Josiah. This is bullshit, man."
* "Fuck you. Are you done with this little fucking thing that you've done?"
* "I annoy everyone, Josiah. I annoy everyone."
* [In response to Josiah remarking that Drew played a video made by a guy] "Fuck off."
* "Shut up."
* "So anarchists -- That's one thing I've learned about anarchists is that they love to be nude."
* "I'm leaking diarrhea on the bus, all over the bus seats."
* "Fuck off."
* "Fuck off. I pick fights with men every single day of my life."
* "Well, there hasn't been a World War in like -- since the 70's."
* [On the topic of whether war is good] "Well, I -- let me just answer that right away, Josiah: no, war is *not* good."
* [In response to Josiah asking if Drew can explain the video they were watching] "No. You have to pay attention to the video."
* [On the topic of whether Josiah was pronouncing Sunt Zoo correctly] "I have no idea. I -- definitely not."
* "I know this stuff already. I'm zoning -- I'm gonna zone out again. I'm gonna zone out ag-- I'm zonin' out again."
* [On the topic of a video from 2011 that mentioned Trump] "2011 and they were already talking about Trump. It's pretty prescient."
* [On the topic of NordVPN] "That's what you probably have. That's what you probably have. You're probably downloading porno pictures. Yeah, you are. You are downloading porno pictures. Yeah, you are. You do. And you do. And you jack off to them. So fuck you. You do. You download pictures off the internet using NordVPN, you download them onto your tablet or your phone or whatever you take to the bathroom -- I'm trying to teach our listeners something."
* [In response to Josiah's question about whether he gets what he's saying] "No, I don't. I don't get what you're saying."
* "This guy is so horny for war."
* "Fuuuck you."
* "Oh, *Dr. Strange*! This is *Dr. Strange*!! Did you see that, Josiah?? Look!! Check this out! Not this. This is from *Dr. Strange*!! This is from *Dr. Strange*!! This is Stephen Strange before he got his hands hurt! And that's his uh love interest!"
* "Ice, land, land, lan-- uh man, man, land, land, plane, land, land, land, space."
* [On the topic of how World Wide War needs to be Josiah and Drew against the world] "It's *already* me and you against the world, buddy, haven't you noticed??"
* "If we had to, I'd take those kids out. Absolutely."
* "You think you have the mind to win a war?"
* [On the topic of how they will make their nukes] "Or you just get a bunch -- you get a bunch of lighters and tape them together. Then you shoot a bullet through 'em. Or ignite it all at once and light up giant cigar."
* [On the topic of what will be their first act of war in World Wide War] "I think you should take a dump uh in -- on like a -- the lawn of someone. And you just start taking dumps every single day and eventually they're gonna say, 'Somebody's shitting! Somebody's shitting around Montreal!' And then eventually there'll be a Ring cam of you shitting, like uh in their doorbell. And uh they're gonna put it up and they're gonna say, 'Does anybody recognize this man?' And I'll say, 'Yes, that's Josiah Hughes! Here -- he can be found here. He, in fact, lives in Montreal. He lives in proximity to the places that uh have been getting shit on! I know he doesn't have a vehicle so he's not driving all the way across the city! I know for a fact that we can triangulate the shitting and figure out where Josiah Hughes is!' "
* [On the topic of what Drew's plan about Josiah shitting on people's lawns has to do with World Wide War] "That's just me showing you that I can -- if you think we're going to war, Josiah, I'm gonna be on top of everything. And I'm gonna be -- I'm gonna have ways to keep you in control, also. I'm gonna have shit tapes of you. I"m gonna have videos of you pissing. I'm gonna have videos of -- I'm gonna go into your bedroom in the morning and I'm gonna antique you. Do you know what that is, Josiah? From *Jackass* and uh *CKY*? Um..."
* [In response to Josiah asking if Drew can stay out of Josiah's house] "No, I'm not gonna stay out of your house. I'm gonna be in your house 24/7."

## Trivia

* This episode has two notably different episode titles between its audio and video formats. The audio version is titled "Episode 77: World Wide War", while the video version is titled "Episode 88: World Wide War". This is the first episode to have two different episode numbers between its audio and video formats.
	+ Note: The title used for this Globe Hell Warning Wiki page was chosen because this is episode 77, not episode 88.
	+ Note: It is currently unknown what explains the different episode number for the video version.