Ep. 18 - Layers and Lairs

What kind of pet does a space squid keep? And what kind of lost history surrounds Beetzart AND Raz'ul's potpourri? Tune in to find out!

## Plot

The episode begins with our bards entering Squid's lair and discovering that the wall is covered in a mysterious, greyish-black ooze. Yashee takes Rihannon's index finger and throws it at the ooze, where it is snatched and dissolved.

The ooze forms into a blob which blocks the tunnel. Squidvicious introduces the ooze as its pet, Ivan. The miners back out of this fight. Randy's first spell is a *chromatic orb* of lightning , which unfortunately splits the ooze into two, and is otherwise ineffective. Raz'ul lights one of Yashee's torches on fire, which she throws into one of the oozes, doing more damage. Raz'ul casts a *moonbeam* with his face on it. One ooze slaps Yashee, leaving some acid on her which causes damage. The other ooze sends out what seems to be a psychic energy blast which Yashee and Raz'ul resist, but it hits Randy - however, the bards' instruments flicker when the energy hits, which may have protected them somewhat. Randy casts a fiery *chromatic orb* which weakens one of the oozes, before hiding behind Raz'ul. Yashee taps out a *thunder wave*, which destroys one of the oozes. Finally, Raz'ul shifts his *moonbeam* to the remaining ooze, and victory is theirs!

Squid is a little torn up over Ivan's destruction, and tries to investigate Raz'ul's mind. Raz'ul resists it, so Squid decides to annoy him until he tells him what his brothers would do to annoy him. Turns out, his older brother Dankle would tease his potpourri-making skills with a song, "Poopoopourie, poopoopourie, looks like poo and it smells like pee!". After getting a hold of this info, Squid repeats the chant and gets pretty annoying, in retaliation for the killing of his pet. To try and stop him our bards decide to play a song.

Unfortunately, the song doesn't really work. not magically, at least. Squid does admit it may have been being immature, and attributes it to 'the remainders of Jenny'. The bard discuss with Squid what the 'E' in 'Squid E Vicious' stands for - they decide it stands for 'Err' (as in a really uncertain sound effect)."Like a name sandwich!" Yashee offers, but Squid needs to read her mind to find out what a sandwich is. He decides that the best meat for one would be brain-meat, after which he invites our bards in further.

At this point, Randy declares the name of his Zombie Gil - Zil - and decides to use him for piggy backs.

In the next room they find a large purple circular stone in the wall, and a hole in the ceiling through which water is falling. Randy uses Zil, as he will throughout the episode, to investigate the stone, but to no effect. Raz'ul can identify it as amethyst, but also knows there's something off about it - it's not a true stone. Yashee decides to give it a little wack, and smashes it apart, revealing a board with strange markings on it. Yashee intends to cast *comprehend language*, but as soon as she touches the board, it lights up and a purple circular energy lift appears, which leads up to the hole in the ceiling. She does the spell anyway, and it says, "Hey \*slurping sound\*, be sure to install the crystal here."

Using the purple light, our bards are lifted up into the next room - Zil and Randy go first, and Raz'ul gives Yashee a piggy back after them. There's another hole in the ceiling through which water is falling through, but the main features are three paths covered with large grates. Eventually, Squid chimes in and asks if the Liarions are still meddling in their affairs. He explains that the surface dwellers of its time thought them to be angels of Altonia. But they were impostors, there to sow seeds of the end of the world. They came claiming to offer the Voice of the World as a gift of protection to its people, but they knew - and had planned from the beginning - that someone would misuse it. Insisting that they can trust him, unlike the Liarions, he tells our bards that he's going to eat their brains when they're ripe.

After Squid falls silent, they investigate the grates, which don't seem to lead anywhere. The middle grate has a curve which indicates a potential way onward. After using one of Boom Queen's bombs on it, they continue down the path.

In the next room they find some kind of bone remnants, really old dusty ones, in which Zil finds a flask. Randy investigates and finds it is made of iron with a bronze stopper. On the flask there's an upside down A with a tilde (~) going through the A-hole. When he opens it there is the faintest whisper of winds, kind of like a seashell.

They use the miners' ropes to climb up into the next room. It's described as kidney shaped, with a stream of water flowing from the other end. There is a hole just above where they entered, three doors on the far side, and a few long tables with straps, one with an eviscerated Gil on it, missing his brains. There are a few pedestals with glass domes, some broken. The door in the middle is the one with water flowing out of it. Each of the rooms are small and circular, the back which can be seen from the hall. There's a circular table with inlays and two hexagonal stones in them, which Trish is standing near. She grabs one, seizes, and drops the stone which breaks. She freaks out and describes a vision of a squid-guy making butcher-markings on a dwarf, similar to the eviscerated Gil. She doesn't recommend touching the other stone. Randy instructs Zil to pick up the stone.

After the bards check on Boom Queen and the miners are readying to move on, Squid chimes back in, reasoning that it makes sense that the Liarions wouldn't be around any more. He says they approached his race, about being members of the people who operated the Voice of the World - at least one person from each race to be a part of guiding it, controlling it, whatever 'it' was. They wouldn't share specifics however, and the Squids couldn't 'tap their minds', adding to their distrust. Squid's people let the Liarions deceive the races' ancestors and, when the time came, they left this world.

Yashee and Raz'ul decide to put on a disguise-kit-hard-hat-and-mustache and metal-potpourri-bowl on their heads respectively to try to stop Squid from talking to them. They make their way up the hole, following the water. The next room is small and oval. There are three containment units, two are larger, one smaller. The smaller one is closed, and Squid advises them not to disturb it. There's a passage through which the water is streaming to the left He further persuades them with the information that the next room would be interesting. Jermaine, who was into some weird things, is in there. Squid decided to 'turn him' rather than eat his brains because of his commitment to his cause - it's a valuable quality.

In the next room, there is a short hallway that enters into a room that extends left and right. There are several more containment units installed into the wall. Only two of them are occupied. There's a porthole to the left through which the water is streaming, as well as the sound of a waterfall. There's also a passage to the right. The bards decide to follow the water. Inside one of the containers, there is a figure, whose hand presses against the glass, causing Yashee to let out a blood-curdling scream. There's no response when they try to talk to it, so they decide to try and open it. They decide that Zil should try to open it up. He tries, but one of his arms rips off. He tries to put it back on, but fails, and Randy tells him to just leave it. After some discussion, Raz'ul volunteers to open it and takes a hefty swing with his axe, breaking the glass. Jermaine falls out, covered in ooze and naked. There's something wriggling around under his cheek, which disappears. There's no response to a slap on the face, so Raz'ul decides CPR is the best option. Randy checks out where the bandage was and finds the symbol for the cult of Derris-Mur, the same symbol which was on the pendant they found at Wesley's house.

Squidvicious then walks in, a little annoyed that they disrupted Jermaine's transformation. He asks if there's any reason why they're surprised at the cult symbol, and asks if they know anything about Delarim. Jermaine abandoned his post to do as his master, Delarim, asked - to reclaim some materials from the meteorite to help them in their experiment.

It's at this point he decides our bards are ripe enough. He casts a wave of energy which knocks out the miners, but our bards don't feel anything. As they look at each other in confusion, they notice that both the runes on their instruments and throats are glowing. Squid looks very confused, insisting this can't be, and asks if they're 'one of them'.

We'll have to find out next time...or not, who knows!

## Song - "Squid E Vicious"

### Chord dice (Major)

* C
* G
* D minor

### Drum Roll

* Heads - 97: Reggaetone 1
* 96: Vox kit

### Lyrics

**Ohhh Squid E. Vicious*
We’re serving up rhymes

They’re fresh and nutritious

Ohhh Squid E. Vicious

Ya got bards in your house

And that’s inauspicious

Ohhh Squid E. Vicious

You’re acting like a jerk

Yeah, down right malicious

Ohhh Squid E. Vicious

Don’t try and stop us now

you know we’re ambitious

Oooh Yashee tell em

Oooh go and get em

Oooh Yashee tell em

Ooooooooooohhhhhh

Ohhh Squid E. Vicious

Yeah we know this song

Seems quite repetitious

Oooh Squid E. Vicious

But you’re up in our minds

So don’t be pernicious

Oooh Squid E. Vicious

We won’t play along

Cause you’re acting suspicious

Oooh Squid E. Vicious

So pour on some sauce

You’ll find it’s delicious

Oooh Yashee tell em

Oooh go and get em

Oooh Yashee tell em

Ooooooooooohhhhhhh

Oooh gonna tell ya

Oooh we’re coming for you

Oooh gonna tell ya

Ooooooohhhhhh

Shhhh*