Timeline/Beta canon

Below is the in-universe timeline of the first draft of Brick Brannigan: The doctor who said no.

## Up to 2009

#### Undated events

* The life of Admin Alexander:
	+ Is born in an unspecified European village into poverty. His wealthy parents mistreat him for this.
	+ His parents are killed by wild dogs, and he is adopted for stray cats.
	+ At some point, his body is infused with cheese.
	+ Furious about human ignorance causing climate change, he creates the THERMOS system, which should burn the world to show the dangers of global warming.

#### 18th century

* **1707** - The Acts of Union 1707 unite the kingdoms of England and Scotland into one unified kingdom, Great Britain.

#### 20th century

* 25 islands form from now until 2020, them all ending up occupied by villains such as Admin Alexander.
* **6th February 1952** - A new queen ascends to the British throne.
* **13th April 1953** - The existence of James Bond is first recorded.
* **9th June 1963** - Johnny Depp is born.
* **10th March 1971** - Jon Hamm is born.
* **12th October 1979** - *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy* is published in the UK.
* **1993/1994** - Brick Brannigan is born. In his childhood, he develops unresolved issues with a father figure.

#### 2000s

* **9th July 2003** - The existence of Jack Sparrow is first recorded.
* **28th April 2005** - The film adaptation of *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy* is released. At some point, Brick Brannigan watches this film.
* **2005-2010** - Brick Brannigan attends spy school.

## 2010s

#### Undated events

* The Celebrity Cruise Ship is constructed. Soon its staff includes the Captain, a comedian codenamed John, a waitress and a manager. The celebrities aboard include Jon Hamm and Jonathon Smith. It flies under Somalia's flag for tax reasons.
* Brick Brannigan and 'EM' are listed as threats on Admin Alexander's database, with 'EM' listed as a Tier A threat and Brannigan listed as Tier F.

#### 2010

* Brick Brannigan graduates from spy school, and soon starts working for HQ.
* 'EM' posing as an intern leaves a USB drive in a pocket at the HQ secret hideout.
* HQ discover that the USB contains information on the villains occupying each of the 25 islands, written up by the Villains Organisation Registry Exchange. They mistakenly believe that the villains are associated with VORE, and dispatch Brick Brannigan to take them out.

#### 2011-2019

* Brick Brannigan continues his mission, traveling the world and defeating all of the 25 villains except Admin Alexander.
	+ Brick Brannigan faces a villain named Bob, who tried to patch sentience into construction machinery.
	+ **2012** - The Constitution of Somalia is officially adopted.

## 2020

When exactly the first chapter happened is difficult to pinpoint. The second chapter of the novel explicitly states the date as March 10th 2020, but the length of time Brick is playing ultimate bowls for in Chapter 1 is only stated as a 'few days'. This wiki will place these events during the Pre-Bowls Era (PBE).

#### Pre-Bowls Era (PBE)

* **3 days PBE**
	+ Travelling the high seas, Brick Brannigan meets a talking dolphin and they discuss *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy*.
	+ Brick Brannigan parks his boat on the Celebrity Cruise Ship to save fuel.
	+ The captain of the Celebrity Cruise Ship is murdered by an unknown individual. A panicked Brick Brannigan sleeps on the bridge where the crime was committed.
* **2 days PBE**
	+ Brick Brannigan escapes the scene of the crime and meets the ship's staff. They invite him to play ultimate bowls.
	+ John's open mic night is upstaged by Brick Brannigan. This upsets him greatly.
	+ Brick Brannigan goes to the hot tub and urinates on some live shrimp.
* **1 day PBE**
	+ New Somali laws affect how cruise ships are allowed to operate, even on international waters. As the Celebrity Cruise Ship flies the Somali flag, these laws limit the ship's staff from doing anything about the captain's murder.
	+ The urinated-on shrimp is used for today's batch of food at the Celebrity Cruise Ship's restaurant.
	+ To make amends with John, Brick Brannigan invites him to breakfast. They order steak and shrimp and when the shrimp turns out to taste disgusting, they investigate the hot tub with the restaurant's manager. They find the captain's old name tag in the water.
	+ Brick Brannigan temporarily abandons the murder mystery to play ultimate bowls with the cruise ship staff.

#### March

* **Until the 9th** - Brick Brannigan plays ultimate bowls with the Celebrity Cruise Ship's staff.
* **9th**
	+ Tifawt Okeke's Merry Men capture the Celebrity Cruise Ship, interrupting the game of bowls.
	+ The pirate leader of the Merry Men, Tifawt Okeke, changes his name to Brick Brannigan after hearing it from the original Brick. This links the two of them psychically.
	+ John is kidnapped by Brick Brannigan's Merry Men and installed as a puppet leader, now having to take the persona of 'Cool-John' the rapper. In exchange, he is provided with a team of assistants.
	+ The Merry Men make a variety of improvements to the ship's quality of life overnight. One new rule is that anyone who shares their name with the pirate leader can buy anything for free.
* **10th**
	+ Jon Hamm enlists Brick Brannigan's help in solving the captain's murder. At Hamm's recommendation, they take hallucinogenic drugs to visualise the captain's murder, and experience a trip where:
		- Brannigan and Hamm attempt to recreate the crime scene, which results in Brannigan 'murdering' Hamm by accident.
		- The pirate Brick Brannigan watches the original Brick Brannigan do this. He looks into the spy's mind while ridiculing him, before changing his name to Jon Hamm to respect the fallen.
	+ Awakening from their trip, Brick Brannigan realises that Jon Hamm started the trip so he could share his name with the pirate leader, and therefore get free coffee. After this accusation, Hamm runs away.
	+ Brick Brannigan is confronted Cool-John and loses in a rap battle to him.
	+ Jonathan Smith approaches Brick Brannigan and proposes an alliance against Cool-John. Brannigan agrees.
* **11th** - Brick Brannigan meets Cool-John for a rematch, but is instead thrown off the ship.
* **11th-13th** - Brick Brannigan is stranded on a small rowboat with a tiger. Eventually he finds his old speedboat, and sails it to Admin Alexander's private island to complete his mission.

* **13th**
	+ Brick Brannigan breaks into Admin Alexander's base, and finds a database listing the villain's targets.
	+ Brick Brannigan interrupts Admin Alexander's PowerPoint presentation, ready for a confrontation.
	+ Admin Alexander orders his subordinates to carry Brick Brannigan to a groin laser. He taunts him while standing by the laser. For unclear reasons, Alexander takes his own life by cutting out his molten cheese blood and letting it flow out. Brannigan is trapped in the groin laser, facing certain doom.