The Great Steakhouse Pop-Tart War

## What is the Great Steakhouse Pop-Tart War?

The great Steakhouse pop-tart war is a tale known in the Monkeyness community very well. It was a tome found in the ancient city of Monkeys. It follows the events of a war for outback steakhouse with Starman\_01, RandomRants as Starman Jr, and I po\*p in urinals as themselves, with appearances from Tiggywoovit, Alph and YoshiKoopa.

# The Great Poptart Search

We begin on any other day for the Outback Steakhouse. Starman was working his normal shift. Cooking a steak behind the counter. The flame of the stove gently caressed the steel pan. The gentle sizzle filled the room with the sweet smell of a charred steak. Tiggywoovit gently swept the floor with care as dust seemed to disappear.

All of a sudden, the harmony of the kitchen was interrupted by a slamming through the door. A customer perhaps? They walked up to the counter, stoically, and spoke a single sentence. "May I apply to be a server?" It was RandomRants.

Starman replied with a "Yes! We're always hiring, but first, you must answer this question. What is 1 + 1?" A difficult question. But he wasn't about to make himself look bad. He replied within seconds, "11." He was hired on the spot as a waiter.

As he was putting on his uniform, YoshiKoopa, a Yoshi that looked just like the one from Paper Mario TTYD, entered the restaurant. He sat down in a booth as RandomRants took his order. At first, he jokingly ordered some ramen with ranch. But this was then changed to a strawberry salad. It was delivered successfully to YoshiKoopa, who ate it all as the crew intensely stared into his soul.

As YoshiKoopa was leaving, he decided he was still hungry, hungry for a poptart. One specific flavor known as hot fudge, extremely rare. But as Starman overheard this, he claimed "Our job here at outback steakhouse is to make sure the customer is served exactly what they desire. We'll get that poptart, no matter the cost."

Starman and RandomRants both stared at each other. They knew a task such as that would be nearly impossible. But Starman knew what to do. "We can go to Giygas' pantry and get the poptarts!” The problem was, the pantry was only accessible by Starmen. But in his glory, RandomRants began to transform. A beautiful pink light filled the room, as RandomRants became Starman Jr. So the 2 set off to find the poptarts.

When they reached the pantry, the first thing in the very front were the poptarts they were looking for. They glistened in the light of the pantry. The fudge shined brighter than the sun. Starman Jr grabbed it in a hurry and teleported away and Starman soon followed behind, after having a brief chat with Giygas.

After returning to the steakhouse, YoshiKoopa was still waiting patiently in the booth, playing subway surfers on his phone. He loved subway surfers more than life itself. As Starman began to open the box, he noticed that what he saw was not pop tarts, but instead, Sesame street veggie straws. Starman Jr. was broken. He had failed YoshiKoopa.

But there was no time to be upset, as another strange creature burst through the door. It called itself "I po\*p in urinals" or IPIU for short. It asked for something called "nectar". But they didn't have nectar, and so it threatened to take the nectar by force. The Starmen, still not knowing what it was talking about, got ready for battle, as IPIU pulled out a shotgun.

# The Nectar War

The first thing the Starmen did was to try PK Beam r, a one hit kill, but IPIU tanked it. They tried fire, thunder, bullets, but nothing was working. In attempt to ratio IPIU, Starman accidentally ratioed Jr. However, Jr had a Franklin badge and was okay. The fight went on for hours, The Starmen were at the end of their rope, and they needed a miracle.

Just as they were almost defeated, The Starmen called out for help, and YoshiKoopa responded. He proclaimed, "Why don't you just take its nectar?" Starman responded with a resounding "Oh yeah." As Jr tried PSI Magnet. The nectar was removed from its body as it cried out in pain. It collapsed on the ground. The battle had been won.

But it was not over yet, as IPIU rose into a demented being that lunged into Starman. But before it could hit him, Starman exclaimed "WAIT!" The creature froze, seemingly waiting for Starman to speak. As Starman picked himself up, he said, "How would you like a job?"

# Epilogue

Starman, Jr, and IPIU now all work together, IPIU does speak in an odd manner, but he's understandable and is a nice guy when you get to know him. At the bottom of the poptart box were some veggie fries and poptarts, which YoshiKoopa ate happily. Alph was irreversibly killed in the crossfire and everyone got the day off except for YoshiKoopa, who finished his Costco shift. And as for Tiggy, he had to clean up the whole mess but he’s s fine with it.

##### Everyone besides Alph lived happily ever after.

This is cannon. PS RandomRants is a gamer

### The End - Written By hand By Starman

And everyone else in the fucking RP dickass