Eva Vestein

—**Eva**, when an underling calls her "Ma'am."

**Eva Vestein** **Kritler** is a French-German girl who was a member of the Nazi Party before she left Germany to go live in Wack. She left the Nazis because she didn't feel fulfilled with her low-tier garbage position in the party. In Wack, she joined Team Wack, a Pokémon team where she was able to use her leadership skills to the fullest extent that she could. She was a skilled Pokémon Trainer and a fantastic leader, which was how she became an Administrator of the team.

Her involvement in the Cost Hollows was pretty significant, but she was manipulated by Father Z. to help achieve his great atrocity, but she fought back in the end, with Zaydolf Kritler and his friends, to end Team Wack's violence against Team Juvite, so she was forgiven (rather easily).

She also got married to Zaydolf and helped him reform Team Wack.

## France's Most Annoying Girl

Eva was born to a French father and a German mother. This explains her stupid accent. She was born and raised on a French military base at the end of World War I and saw how the instructors acted towards privates, yelling at them like angry ooga booga husbands. She saw how the instructors led the privates to become great soldiers and fell in love with leadership and dreamed of becoming a great leader.

In school, she had no friends because she was a "meanie-head" who always pushed people "too hard" when something needed to be done, but she was always the reason why the kids in her groups had the best of the best projects. She was also a snitch for her teachers, since drill instructors always report problems and the stupid mistakes of the privates to the higher-ups, right? But she wasn't a suck up; she believed that all stupid mistakes, big and miniscule, could be detrimental when left unchecked. This led to her being the target of some bullying where her commanding voice couldn't get her out of punishment, and being a girl, she pretty much only had her voice to defend herself. A little bit of too much bullying caused her to silence herself out of fear of being retaliated against.

### Movin To Germany

Eva's mom and dad wanted to go to Germany, mostly for money since someone paid them and there were more money-making opportunities in Germany, but also because Eva was depressed.

In Germany, she went to school, but it was different (obviously): "Zese kids didn't know anyzing about me, so vhy vould zey ever attack me? But vhat if zey're surprised by a girl who speaks auzoritative?" This thinking got Eva to still keep mostly silent for some time. But, one day, a boy was being shoved around by a bigger boy and Eva saw this but no one else cared. She thought that her being silent was causing this kid to be further getting hurt, so she finally went in with her greatest dominating voice and meanest look to stop the big boy from attacking the little boy. The big boy never heard a girl be so commanding and scary; it was like she was throwing daggers with her voice, so he ran away from her. After that moment, Eva realized that she could use her big girl voice to save people. Zat's a surprise tool zat could help us later.

## The Ideal German Woman

Being a school kid in Nazi Germany, Eva had to listen to Adolf Hitler's speeches. She was inspired by Hitler because he had a big voice that riled up everyone in the crowds, but she never really understood what he was saying, but she remembered the speeches because Hitler used his experience in music school to create hardcore versions of his speeches. Eva really wanted to be a member of the Nazi Party, since it was a *supposedly* respectable position to be in, and she thought that she could help Germany while in that position of power. Also, no other girl had got into the Nazi Party because of her merits.

### The Ideal Looks Of A German Woman

Eva did actually get into the Nazi Party, which got her known across Germany for being the only woman in the Nazi Party who wasn't there because she had a Nazi husband. Eva believed she got into the Nazi Party for being well-spoken and generally inspiring, but she got put into part of the propaganda wing of the Nazi Party, specifically the modelling group. Eva had blonde hair and blue eyes and was particularly well-...hatted, unlike most women, so it was a no-brainer that she was chosen to be the official Miss Germany.

Needless to say, ~~she turns straight girls lesbian~~ she didn't want to be a model, she wanted a job where she got to yell inspiring things at people.

 —**Eva**, before a Nazi guy tells her to shut up.

While in this group, she was frequently disrespected by her higher-ups, which was any male in the building. She didn't say anything about it because she thought she would lose her job. But when she did complain, to a real higher-up, he gave her some of Hitler's son's Wachpersonal to guard her and deter anyone from harassing her. Eva's guards deterred most people from disrespecting and harassing her, but one day, a real creep walked into the modelling room where Eva was in, while her guards were being exchanged, slithered up behind her, and fondled her huge... hat. She smacked him to the ground and gave him the most discipline he ever had, which scared him; he didn't expect such retaliation from a fat... hatted woman and stabbed her right eye. The guards came in, Sparta kicked the guy, hit him with the butt of their rifles, and arrested him. The guards were busy enjoying beating up a guy, finally, so they took a while to realize that they should take her to a hospital.

Since she had to wear an eyepatch, she couldn't keep her modelling job, but her excitement deflated when she was delegated to coffee girl.

Knowing her full potential was not being utilized, she quit the Nazis in 1943, and moved to a country that is a bit more wacky but full of more opportunity: Wack!

## In The Wack Place

It is in Wack where she hears of the Pokémon team, Team Wack. She asks a local what Team Wack is and he says that it is a team of Pokémon Trainers who do good things for the Wackian people. Eva wanted to join Wack from that description, but she had to learn about Pokémon and Pokébattling before she became a member. She studied how to become a good Pokémon battler and became a Team Wack Grunt quite easily.

### She Gets Da Respect

As a Grunt, she got her fellow grunts to pick up the slack and get way more involved in helping the Wack people. She also got more skilled at battling over time, winning the Team Wack Monthly Promotion Tournament seven times in a row. Eva was promoted to Elite Grunt after her seventh tournament because of her great leadership skills even though a Grunt needs to win 2 times in a row and win a total of 10 times in order to be promoted to Elite Grunt. As an Elite Grunt, she made sure that the team she led was at their best at all times. She gave her team rewards for doing what she wanted to see. They usually did what the Administrators wanted but not what Eva wanted, so they were never rewarded, except for one guy called General Zyclon, who did what she wanted to see: tell his fricking teammates to do something useful for once. General was a nice guy who tried to make friends with most of the people he met. He couldn't become Eva's friend for a long time because she didn't want to be personal to anyone.

Eva became an Administrator for Team Wack when it came time for the Annual Squad Assessment (ASA) and Battling Assessment (BA) where Elite Grunts would be tested if their squads were of quality standards and if they had good enough skill in Pokémon battling. Eva passed the assessments with the highest ASA score in the recent history of Team Wack. To commemorate this achievement, Eva had a custom uniform sewn for her and she was given a giant hat since there were none that fit her size at that moment.

Unlike the other Admins, Eva's teaching style was far more physically, emotionally, psychologically, and sexually scarring but better for the Grunts and Elite Grunts. General eventually reached Administrative position by bootlegging Eva's teaching style but using his own battle style, which was just an overall complete downgrade to Eva's style. General decided to still try to become friends with Eva or, at least, get to know her better, which got on her nerves, sometimes.

## Juvite Cometh

Eva's first concern with Team Juvite was when the President of Team Wack informed the Admins of the growing Juvite team, who might try to compete with Team Wack. Her job was to keep security of Team Wack territories from Team Juvite members who might want to fight for the land.

She met some Team Juvite Grunts, walking through her security checkpoint, who didn't intend to fight. She thought they were like Team Wack Grunts but dramatically not stupider and prone to failure.

## Kritler's Reign

In the Team Wack Presidential Election, General Zyclon and Father Z. Kritler ran for leadership. General Zyclon won, but Father usurped General in a Pokémon battle and forced him to become an Administrator. Not even Eva could defeat Father in a Pokébattle, let alone all the other pathetic members.

Father's first action as the The Führer was the commencing of the construction of the Purification Camp, known as the Wacky Camp. While the Camp was being built, Father ordered the Admins to gather Team Juvite members and bring them to the Purification Camp, which required them to go into Juvite territory. Eva questioned the purpose of these decisions, but Father withheld the true answer, and Eva was being a pawn, following his command anyway, since the stupid orders from her stupid higher-up stupid mattered more than her stupid feelings.

Eva meets Zaydolf, Father's son, for the first time, in Side Town. Eva informs Zaydolf that his father has sent her and the other Admins to collect Team Juvite members rather nicely, assuming that he needs that info and that she needs to treat him with more respect since he is Father's son. Zaydolf, being smooth like a mountain, calls her "beautiful, truly. I haven't laid my eyes on someone or something more magical than you," making Eva take a step back, being surprised, disgusted, and slightly angered that he is wasting her time. Zaydolf, not taking a hint, gets closer to her and warns her about his spook friend who can totally beat her in a Pokémon battle. Eva tells him that she'll stay alert and speed walks really fast past him, while getting a feeling that he's staring at her butt and her bouncing back... hat.

Eva encounters Zaydolf's spook friend a few times while on her mission. She battled him and lost two out of three times, which was embarrassing for her; a spook kid she's never met was able to beat her in Pokébattles. Eva tells Zaydolf that his friend was difficult to battle the next time they met.

### Father's True Purpose

Father Z. never revealed the purpose of the Purification Camp to Eva or General but to Dr. Manglo and Zaydolf. Eva and General guarded the outside of the Purification Camp from people trying to stop the deaths of Team Juvite members, oblivious to what was happening inside. Eva and General are defeated by Zaydolf's friend and a Juvite member named Anne Franklin. After their defeat, Eva and General order their Grunts to defeat the spook and Anne while they go inside the Camp. While inside the Camp, Zaydolf tells Eva and General to wait in some storage room while he deals with the threats.

Zaydolf fails to deal with the threats, but he informs Eva and General that his father is trying to kill off all of the Juvites, which gets them to ally against Father Z. and get the other Grunts to help.

In the Pokémon battle against Father Z. and Dr. Manglo, General is directly hit by Dr. Manglo's Gigasvyre to distract the team. Eva shows great concern over Zyclon when coming to his aid, hyperventilating and stuff. Eva retaliates by ordering her Buzzjaw to attack Dr. Manglo, but Gigasvyre comes to his defense. General's Wackian Hydreigon rams Gigasvyre out of Buzzjaw's way allowing it to get the kill on Dr. Manglo. Eva evacuates General once she knows that Zaydolf, Zaydolf's friend, and Anne can deal with Father. Eva tells an unconscious Zyclon how she feels about him: that he was annoying and got on her nerves, but he was one of the only people who cared about her. Zyclon heard all of this and told her that he wasn't dying, yet. She stared at him with disapproving eyes and dropped his soon-to-be corpse on the floor before she took him to a hospital.

## After That Incident

After the Purification Event, Eva and Zaydolf reformed Team Wack to be not murderous and maybe they would open relations and cooperate with Team Juvite. Though, Eva felt remorseful for not acting against Father's plan. It was an obvious plan, like, come on, just based on the name of the Purification Camp, his plan was obviously to purify the world from Juvites. How is Eva that rarted? She must've thought that leadership came before her morals. Oh wait, Father didn't tell her it was a Purification Camp, he told her it was a Wacky Camp. Well, she's not at fault anymore, just for not knowing. Eva is still a good person even though she was a major instrument in Kritler's demonic orchestra! She didn't know!!1!

Zaydolf and Eva meet each other again and she starts to like Zaydolf, probably for his coldness, physically. She is honest about her past and Zaydolf comforts her. She was absolutely bawling since she had someone to cry on for the first time, she shed at least one tear, which is her definition of bawling.

They meet a few more times and blah, blah, blah, they get married, and Eva smiles for the first time in years during her and Zaydolf's marriage ceremony. Hurray!

## Trivia

* Her favorite Pokémon is Baumine, a Fire- and Virus-type Pokémon, that **will** give you enflaming diseases
* Eva and Zaydolf did ABSOLUTELY ~~nasty things while in bed, doing boob stuff with Eva's YUGE melons~~ nothing in bed

### Video Game Stuff

* She appears in a video game called *my favorite video game*, where she is depicted as a gigantic-hatted bimbo slut. In the game, Eva is a super depressed street whore who wants to stop doing the gender, but everyone is scared of her massive hat, so employers won't ever give her a real job. She's super depressed for multiple reasons:
	+ Her huge hat is a huge nuisance:
		- Extreme back pain
		- Doorway troubles
		- Accidental hat punch/knocking over objects
	+ No home
	+ Barely any money
	+ No purpose
	+ The only reason someone would approach her is to ask her for the sauce
* You (Ena) meet Eva and recruit her as an optional playable hero in the fight against G-Cis.
	+ She is a support/debuff character with a high damage move in the RPG section.
	+ She can save herself from bottomless pits and spikes by placing soft and bouncy... hats in the 2-D Platformer section.
	+ She can make enemies fight each other in the Beat-Em-Up section.
	+ She can blind enemies in the Horror-Survival section. You know how she does it.
	+ Her special item is a cluster bomb that switches other racers' controls in the Arcade-Racing section.
	+ Her ship in the vertical Space Shooter fires bursts of projectiles that cause enemies to do less damage. Her special makes all enemies on screen freeze and take five times more damage for 15 seconds and makes new enemies 1.5 times slower and take three times more damage for 45 seconds.