Episodes

*Megaton Girl* currently has two completed instalments: a pilot and its first official episode. *Megaton Girl* is ongoing, with the first instalment premiering on February 1 2020 and the latest released on March 18 (Patreon) and March 19 (Spotify and Buzzsprout), 2021. "Queen-Sized Smackdown" is expected to be released on YouTube sometime April 2021.

All official episodes can be found on Austin Lee Matthews' YouTube channel, the Megaton Girl Patreon and the Megaton Girl Spotify page. A list of all other podcast platforms the radio play can be found on has been posted on Buzzsprout.

This page serves as a list of canon instalments and accompanying summaries only. The full *Megaton Girl* script is copyrighted and can be found on the Megaton Girl Patreon as a tier 3 and above exclusive.

## Pilot: The Revenge of Thaddeus Sludge[1]

The *Megaton Girl* pilot was premiered February 1 2020 and was sixteen minutes long. This is the summary found on the official *Megaton Girl* website:

> *"A year into her superhero career, Connie and Laurel recount the time that Megaton Girl was forced to save her worst enemy from a smelly demise!"*
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[plotline to be summarised here]

## Episode 1: Every Two Lifetimes

"Every Two Lifetimes" was released on November 8 2020 and is so far the longest episode at approximately an hour and ten minutes long—twice the length of the others. Official summary:

> *"When a romantic first date turns into a* meteoric *superhero original story, Connie and Laurel seek the help of a retired hero trainer named Kirby to help teach Connie the basics of heroics."*
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Interestingly, this first official episode is chronologically set before the pilot timeline and follows the story of how Connie initially gained her superpowers and also sets up the beginning of her and Laurel's romantic relationship.

The episode begins with Captain Valiant accosting Gentleman Steelface for a bank robbery, which quickly transitions to reveal that it is a comic drawn by Laurel being read out by Connie Opland. Connie excitedly tells her roommate Laurel Fitz that it's amazing, but is confused at Captain Valiant's strange excess of abs and pectorals. Laurel explains that it's her boss' policy to draw Captain Valiant with a 12-ab minimum and, though disgusted, Connie reassures Laurel of her talent and sends her off with well wishes for her interview with her boss. When Laurel leaves, Connie turns on the television and microwaves a burrito, overhearing on the television that the bicentennial meteor shower was due that night. With her mouth full, Connie muses that it sounds "right up Laurel's alley" and wanders if it might be a good place to finally ask her out.

Suddenly a shouting starts up outside and Connie goes to the window to find a supervillain pacing the streets, shouting for Captain Valiant. Annoyed and hoping to get him to stop, she goes downstairs and expresses her irritation to the supervillain, who tells her that he is calling for his nemesis, Captain Valiant, to do battle, and introduces himself as Doctor Menace. He starts shouting again, much to Connie's annoyance, but thankfully Valiant soon shows up and asks about the ruckus. He fleetingly acknowledges Menace and then turns immediately to Connie, asking for her name. She stutters it out and he immediately suggests they fly down to the coffee shop and "get to know each other", but Connie politely refuses, telling him she's already interested in someone else. He continues to pester her, not taking no for an answer, all the while Doctor Menace trying pathetically to get his attention. Finally, Valiant wheels on Menace, annoyed, and asks what he wants. Menace tells him bashfully that he has a supervillain monologue he wants him to hear, and when Valiant begrudgingly agrees to listen, Menace asks Connie if she would like to hear it too. She immediately refuses and he pulls a laser gun on her, asking her if she's sure. She agrees under threat to listen.

Doctor Menace dramatically gives his monologue and then asks to do battle with Captain Valiant. Valiant bluntly refuses, displaying keen disinterest, and in desperation Menace takes Connie "hostage" until Valiant agrees to fight him. Finding no one in the street to watch the rescue, Valiant tells Connie he will rescue her if she agrees to go out with him. She refuses but he ignores her and quickly incapacitates Menace, the villain's best attack failing miserably and resulting in his getting tied up with a telephone pole. Menace briefly muses aloud at Valiant's use of wordplay during the battle but, realising this, he quickly masks his enjoyment and curses Valiant, vowing revenge. With Menace immobilised, Valiant turns to Connie and again insists to take her out, which she again refuses. Incredulously, he states that since he saved her life, she owes him, to which Connie emphatically replies that "I don't owe you *shit*!" and then asks in disbelief if the only reason he saved her was to get into her pants. He dramatically denies this, telling her it was so she could get into *his* pants, and she promptly punches him in the face, hurting herself much more than Valiant in the process.

Captain Valiant is in disbelief for a moment before grabbing her, calling her a bitch and threatening to "break more than her hand", before the sound of his anthem rings out and he pulls out his phone. He holds a quick conversation before putting it away again and effectively telling Connie that she's lucky he has somewhere else to be. He then turns to Doctor Menace and tells him to stay where he is, promising to come back and take him to prison later, before flying off. Shaken, Connie wonders to herself if she just almost died, until Menace breaks her from her thoughts by asking her to scratch his nose for him. Disgusted, she goes back inside and leaves him on the street.

The scene then cuts to Laurel strolling down the corridors of Olympus Illustrated and arriving at her boss' office. Chuck Bradford opens the door to her and asks in irritation what she wants, treating her dismissively before she tells him that she has the Captain Valiant comic ready. He enthusiastically grabs it from her and skims the pages, before stopping and counting under his breath. Displeased, he then tells Laurel to look at Valiant's stomach, stating that he has counted no less than 12 abs in each panel. Confused, Laurel replies that that's how many he's supposed to have, but Chuck tells her that Olympus has a 12-ab *minimum* on every picture of Valiant. He continues to degrade her, telling her that she knew she had to put in 110% for her work, and Laurel anxiously apologises and tells him that she can fix it. He tells her she can't and won't, and rips the comic up in front of her, demoting her to the Human-Interest section of the site, rudely stating that "at least the old farts who read that section won't have good enough sigh to see if you fuck up again", and telling her to go home. Laurel walks away, sobbing, leaving Chuck alone in his office where he mutters to himself about "the nerve of some people".

The scene cuts to Laurel and Connie back at home, the latter ranting about Chuck and insisting that no one should ever treat Laurel like this.Defeated, Laurel says that she "hates today" and Connie agrees. Seemingly already informed about the day's events, Laurel asks after her hand, to which Connie replies it still hurts but emphasises it felt good to "give that asshat a taste of her fist". Laurel chuckles, telling Connie she wishes she had guts like her, to which Connie replies that she just has to have confidence and tells her that's she's come very far since high school. Bashful, Laurel tells Connie that she really looks up to her as well and Connie devolves into Flustered Gay BabblingTM. Connie suggests that they go to the meteor shower tonight to make her feel better and Laurel agrees, to which Connie's brain melts again and she tells her she's going to go change. Several hours early.

The scene again cuts forward in time, this time to the beach where the girls sit to watch the bicentennial meteor shower. Trying to make small talk, Connie mentions that she heard the shower was supposed to be a twice-in-a-lifetime experience, to which Laurel gently corrects her that it's actually once every two lifetimes. Panicking, Connie agrees with her a little too enthusiastically, and Laurel, picking up on her anxiety, asks her if she's alright, stating that she looks pale and that she's shaking. Connie makes the excuse that she's cold, and when Laurel tells her she's also sweating, she dismisses it as the strange springtime weather (it's fall). As a distraction Connie offers Laurel drinks, still mangling her words, and pulls out a water bottle for Laurel and a hard lemonade for herself. In an effort to calm herself, she chugs the can and gags. Laurel persists in asking what's wrong and eventually Connie comes out with a stumbling, long-winded confession without actually getting to the point. When Laurel says she doesn't know what to say, Connie replies she could say yes — to being her girlfriend. In an effort to calm her nerves immediately after, Laurel admits that she's felt the same way for a very long time and, when it's suggested by Connie, tells her that she doesn't want to "take it slow" anymore. She admits that the first time she had planned to ask her out was on the Tunnel of Love at a fair in seventh grade, pleasantly surprising Connie. Laurel tells her that she would love to be her girlfriend, much to her joyous disbelief, and they begin to talk about where to go from here when the meteor shower starts and they settle back to watch.

After a few moments, Connie nervously suggests they wish on a shooting star, as there's plenty to choose from. Laurel agrees, Connie wishing to put Laurel's boss in his place and Laurel wishing for Connie to punch Captain Valiant so hard he goes flying. Connie agrees enthusiastically, stating that she'd love to "send him to the moon" and that Laurel would be the one to draw it. After a moment, Connie's laughter subsides and she points out to Laurel a comet that's growing bigger. When she realises it's heading for them, she screams for Laurel to get down and shoves her away before the meteor lands on her. Laurel tumbles into the sand, coughing up sand and dust and lifting her head to find the meteor sitting where her new girlfriend had just been. Sobbing breathlessly and screaming for help, she staggers up to the meteor, and falls to her knees. She stops crying after hearing a sudden rumble and a battlecry from Connie, who bursts out from underneath the meteor. Coming down from her initial shock and confusion, Laurel eventually manages to ask her if she's okay, to which Connie replies that she has a headache and her stomach is burning. She gags, burps, and then gives a screaming battlecry as a laser explodes out of her mouth. In excited surprise, Connie exclaims that she just laser-burped, and Laurel confirms in disbelief that she now has superpowers. Connie throws a short celebration, laughing, running around and exclaiming that she's going to give Valiant a piece of her mind — before slowing down and correcting after she sleeps, faceplanting into the sand.

Connie wakes later to Laurel calling her name, and asks in confusion what happened last night. Laurel tells her that it wasn't a dream and Connie confirms with her in disbelief that they had confessed to each other and then she'd promptly gotten crushed by a meteor. Connie panics for a second, asking if they died and if they got "bury your gays"-ed, beginning to break the fourth wall and curse the writers before Laurel jumps in and assures her that she's still very much alive and in their apartment, but now has superpowers. With her memory still foggy, Connie asks excitedly what she can do, and Laurel tells her that while she's not sure of the full extent of her powers yet, she did blow up a meteor, and she also points out that Connie has been floating for a few hours. Finally noticing, Connie devolves into a fit of excited giggles and begins trying to fly around before crashing into something and settling down. She confirms with Laurel that though she's sore, she's not bleeding, and lists off her newfound abilities: super strength, durability and flight. When asked if she can do anything else, Laurel tells her that the night before she fired a laser out of her mouth. In a parallel of the night before, Connie exclaims that she can laser burp and demands a soda before Laurel hurriedly warns not to do it in the apartment.

Far from disappointed, Connie exclaims to Laurel that their wish came true — she can now give both Captain Valiant and Laurel's boss what for. Laurel, ever-logical, tells her that they need to think things through; as much as she'd love to confront her boss, she doubts it would go well for Connie socially, and also reasons that Valiant has much more training and experience than Connie. Agreeing, Connie comes up with the idea to get even by becoming a superhero herself, and being a better one than Captain Valiant by giving the people a protector that actually cares about their wellbeing. She also excitedly suggests that Laurel could be her publicist as she'd get all the exclusive interviews — this would grow her reputation and then her boss would have to respect her. Laurel agrees that it's a good idea and Connie states that now all she needs is a manager, asking Laurel coyly if she would like to be her manager. Laurel replies that she would love to but doesn't have any experience, so they should get her a professional instead. Connie is still pleased with the idea but asks if they could get some food as, apparently, "getting hit by a meteor works up an appetite."

Laurel searches for superhero managers on her laptop and when Connie pulls up something on her phone, she asks Laurel if she'd still like to be girlfriend, to which Laurel replies that of course she would — despite her physical differences, she's still the woman she fell in love with. Touched, Connie replies that she loves her too, and, breathless with joy, Laurel initiates their first kiss. Connie's stomach growls, the latter whining about ruining the moment and the former soothing her and insisting she order their food — ramen for Laurel and salmon nigiri for Connie. Laurel continues to search for a superhero manager, surprised to find that everyone's already filled up, before they finally stumble across one listed as "empty": *William Kirby Super Hero Management*. Connie muses that the name sounds familiar and Laurel explains that he once co-owned the *Titan* tech company but is now a shut-in, and also seemed to manage superheroes for a while. Connie asks if he's any good and Laurel tells her that it doesn't say anything about who he repped and says that he's not repping anyone currently, which raises red flags for her. Connie shrugs this off, stating that he seems to be the only one available in town, and asks for an address — Laurel tells her she can't find any home address but it looks like he runs the Iron Will Gym a few miles away and that he might be there. Connie decides to drop in later and Laurel insists that she will come too in case anything goes wrong. Connie states that she has superpowers, and Laurel tells her that she has her back anyway, to which Connie teases her delightedly about being "brave and protective" before ultimately conceding in going together. Her stomach growls again, and she clarifies that they will go *after* the food arrives. Laurel snorts.

[to be continued]

## Episode 2: Queen-Sized Smackdown

"Queen-Sized Smackdown" was released on March 18 (Patreon) and March 19 (Spotify and Buzzsprout), 2021 and is approximately 37 minutes long. While it's assumed Austin scripts the episodes, Shadowhavenart and wysterradi on Tumblr have been assigned the "art duties" for this episode and it is expected to be released on YouTube sometime April 2021. Official summary:

> *"Connie starts her hero training with a larger-than-life power couple, while Laurel starts to plan her own rebellion against Captain Valiant!"*
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[to be summarised]

## Episode 3: The Gal in the Big Chair

"The Gal in the Big Chair" was released on May 8 2021 (Spotify, Buzzsprout) and is approximately 36 minutes long. Official summary:

> *"Laurel joins the team as Connie’s tactician, and Kirby enlists the aid of a powerful hero to help bring out Laurel’s potential."*
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[to be summarised]

## Storyboards/Animatics

### "You Could Say Yes"

*You Could Say Yes* is a short animatic/storyboard by Austin following canon dialogue between Connie and Laurel from 20:45 to 20:53 in Episode 1.

> **Connie:** Well. . . you- you could say. . .
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> **Connie:** . . . Yes?
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> **Laurel:** To what. . .?
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> **Connie:** *Being my girlfriend-*
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> **Laurel:** C o n n i e - !
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### "Butterflies"

*Butterflies* is a short animatic/storyboard by Austin following canon dialogue between Connie and Laurel from 22:17 to 22:42 in Episode 1.

> **Laurel:** I was gonna take you on the Tunnel of Love and. . . ask you there. . . but I kinda took the whole rollercoaster thing as a bad sign. So, I chickened out.
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> **Connie**: W-wow. . .
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> **Laurel:** We've kinda taken it slow for most of our lives. [Chuckle] So, I guess what I'm saying is:
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> **Laurel:** Connie Opland. I'd fucking love to be your girlfriend.
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### "No Choice"

*No Choice* is a short animatic/storyboard by Austin following canon dialogue between Connie and Kirby from 40:23 to 41:01 in Episode 1.

> **Kirby:** [Scoffs] If you're gonna be a hero, you gotta work hard. Are you prepared for that?
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> **Connie:** Oh you bet.
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> **Kirby:** You ready to *train* hard?
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> **Connie:** Yes!
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> **Kirby:** Are you ready to put your life on the line every day, knowing fully well that any day could be your last? That you are going to have to be the one to make the tough choices? That lives are gonna be on the line, more than just yours? That this whole city. . . That the whole fuckin' world is gonna be on your shoulders?
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> **Connie:** The whole. . . world?
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> **Kirby:** Are you ready for that responsibility?!
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> **Connie:** . . . [Determined breath] No. But I don't think I have a choice.
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> **Kirby:** . . . Huh.
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### "Trial By Fire"

*Trial By Fire* is a short animatic/storyboard by Austin following canon dialogue from Megaton Girl during a fight scene with Menace Bot Version 0.897B (Doctor Menace) from 59:33 to 59:53 in Episode 1.

> **Megaton Girl:** [Gritting teeth] Tch...! Haah... Chuck would give up. I've gotta be better than him!
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> **Megaton Girl:** I... AM better than him!!
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## Trivia

* Much of the dialogue in Episode 1 remains true to the script, except for Connie, approximately half of whose lines are improvised by Amanda Kay. Kirby also has one improvised line.[2]
* In order for Connie to imitate Doctor Steelface and Captain Valiant in Episode 1, Jason Marnocha and P.M. Seymour pre-recorded their lines for Amanda Kay to listen to before she recorded her own imitations.

## References

1. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6OeCYP6syck9XLDLoFY7HS
2. https://amtrax.tumblr.com/post/634862726011830272/and-last-one-for-tonight-how-much-of-the-megaton