The S Word

### Characters (in order of appearance)

Allon, Space Tree, The Commander, Mee, Female Space Tree, The Clerman Clones, Bobby

## Credits

### Special credits

The Other Space Tree
Kagome Higurashi

a "Treehole Studio Productions Legitimate Company Warehouse on the Internet, Inc." production

Space Tree goes on an expedition to find Professor Clerman and get his money back. Mee gets seduced by a female Space Tree...wait, what?

## Transcript

*(cut to the Command Center of Space Trees spacecraft)*

**Allon:** *(Reading from a book called "FLYING AROUND IN SPACE IN 12 EAZEE S" (the rest is covered by Allon's hand)"* Step 4 is to turn the steering wheel to a 97 degree angle.

**Space Tree:** OK, I guess that’s about here. *(turns steering wheel)*

**Allon:** Yeah. That looks right, I guess.

*(enter Commander)*

**Commander:** Space Tree, what the crap is going on? Why is the power out in every room except for this one?

*(enter Mee)*

**Mee:** Yeah; what the hell, man! I need to check my thetan levels.

**Commander:** Yeah and I need to review TV shows on the internet.

**Allon:** -- *(Starts to speak but is cut off)*

**Mee:** *(Knocking Allon out of his seat)* And Alvin probably needs to like microwave some food. That’s something he'd do, right?

**Space Tree:** Look, there’s a very delicate operation going on here, so why don't you two just go and sleep for the next 30 minutes.

**Commander:** No way, we agreed my bedtime isn’t until 9:30.

**Space Tree:** I just had to divert all the power to the safety shields so that I can land the ship manually. The auto-pilot's disappeared, so I have to land this thing myself for the first time ever.

**Commander:** Just use the auto-pilot.

**Space Tree:** What, are you deaf? I just said the auto-pilot's disappeared.

**Mee:** So then use the auto-pilot.

*(Cut between them, Commander's face is blank. (See Easter egg below))*

**Mee:** No really, here it is, I was keeping it in my pants. *(Holds up grey box labelled "AP4000")*

*(The ship safely lands, to music. Cut to Mee, Allon, Commander, and ST standing by the door. ST has a smoking pipe)*

**Space Tree:** OK were just on this planet to find the remaining Clerman Clones and see if they know where we can find Professor Clerman.

**Commander:** What do you care about that guy for anyway?

**Space Tree:** Because he stole my freakin' money! *(Pipe flies away)* And I bet you thought I forgot about that but I didn’t, and I want it back.

**Commander:** Oh, so you can give it to the less fortunate?

**Space Tree:** Hell no! I already gave them enough.

**Mee:** Yeah, this whole mission sounds pretty gay, so I'm just gunna stay on the ship.

**Allon:** Yeah, I think it sounds pretty hetero, but I'm just gunna stay here too. The last time I went out there I kinda got shot in the chest and then stranded there for a few months.

**Space Tree:** Boo hoo. Well, I guess it’s just you and me Commander.

*(Pipe flies by again)*

**Commander:** I'd stay here as well, but I can't think of a good excuse.

*(They depart the ship.)*

**Space Tree:** How about I go this way, and you go that way.

**Commander:** Uh, how about we both go this way? I don't want to split up on this planet.

**Space Tree:** Fine then. Want me to hold your hand as well?

**Commander:** Well now that you mention it...

*(They exit stage right. Immediately enter stage left Female Space Tree. She looks like Space Tree Classic but has pink lips and a smoother "ST" on her trunk. She enters the ship.)*

**Mee:** Huh, you’re back already?

**Female Space Tree:** *(she, of course, has a female voice)* Uh, yes, I am.

**Mee:** Well where’s the Commander?

**Female Space Tree:** He's... somewhere else.

**Mee:** OK then, well let's get the hell out of here.

*(cut to the Ship flying away)*

*(cut back to Clermanworld)*

**Commander:** Uh, Space Tree, is that our ship flying away up there?

**Space Tree:** First of all, Commander, it's not OUR ship, it's MY ship. And secondly, it couldn’t be my ship, because my ship can only be started with my DNA. So I'm not even going to bother looking upward.

**Commander:** Ok, I must be mistaken. *(He consults his MAP TO THE ST\*RS HOMES published by M. Marone)* Anyway, there’s only 1 more clone house we haven’t checked yet, so they must be in there.

**Space Tree:** Ok, lets check it.

*(Cut back to the ship)*

**Mee:** Hey Space Tree did you get like a haircut while you were on that planet? There’s something different about you.

**Female Space Tree:** Whatever do you mean?

**Mee:** I dunno, I don't want to get all broke-back on you, but uh, its like there’s this different aura around you or something. *(Pipe flies through again)*

**Female Space Tree:** You mean like, I'm now a sexy female Space Tree?

**Mee:** Well I don't think I'd ever use the 'S' word to describe a tree, I mean, let’s be honest. All trees are pretty frickin' ugly.

**Female Space Tree:** Well why don’t we see how ugly you are when I bust your face open with this pipe?? *(Holds up a lead pipe)*

**Mee:** Whoa, relax man; you’re not that ugly, alright? *(Female Space Tree hits him in the head)* OW! What the -- *(Female Space Tree hits him 4 times)*

*(Cut to a house on the Clerman's Island, Space Tree stands outside, the Commander is inside)*

**Space Tree:** So, were the clones in there?

**Commander:** Why don’t you come in here and see for yourself?

**Space Tree:** Because I can't fit through the door, you know that.

**Commander:** Well they're not in here either.

**Space Tree:** Dammit!

**Commander:** Nope, all that’s in here is another Clerman Clone shaped skeleton, just like in all the other clone houses. *(Cut to Clerman Clone shaped skeleton)*

**Space Tree:** Yeah. Wait, what???

**Commander:** I said --

**Space Tree:** Yeah, skeleton, but what you didn’t feel like mentioning this before?

**Commander:** Well I didn’t think it was exactly relevant, Space Tree, I mean all the Clermans have been replaced by Clerman Clones shaped skeletons that look like they had the flesh eaten off them by someone who couldn’t fit through the door so they came through this giant tree sized hole in the roof. *(Cut to birds eye view of the house, there is a hole in the roof the size of Space Tree. Then close up on Commander)* It doesn’t explain anything!

*(Back on the ship, Mee is chained up to the wall, see image above)*

**Mee:** Space Tree, this is ridiculous. When did you start chaining people up and eating them?

**Female Space Tree:** Look, moron, I'm not the Space Tree you're thinking of. The Clerman Clones made me from his DNA about 6 months ago. *(We see series of pictures of the cloning process (Buckethead takes the Space Tree action figure), the craving process (Female Space Tree eats the brain of a Clerman Clone), and the sandwich process (We see a guy holding a sandwich, from Slave Grave))* But something must have gone wrong in the cloning process, because I had this constant craving of sweet, sweet taste of humanoid flesh. Also, I'm a girl.

**Mee:** Yeah, I can see you’re one of those exposition chicks. It's kind of a turn off.

**Female Space Tree:** Shut up! *(Hits Mee again, then throws down pipe)* You just wait until the steamed vegetables are ready, then the feast will begin! And I'd like to start with the eyes. *(Pokes Mee in the eye)*

*(Transition to kitchen. A pot is on the stove)*

**Female Space Tree:** Goddamn, this stove sucks. How long does it take to steam some frickin’ carrots?

*(Back to Mee, enter Allon)*

Allon: A dub dub dub dub dub... what are you doing up there?

**Mee:** Alvin, you've got to get Mee down from here! There's some psycho broad in the kitchen who’s about to come back down here and eat me!

*(Smoking pipe flies by again.)*

**Allon:** Whoa! Hold on a second, I'll get you down.

**Mee:** Hurry up, Alvin!

**Allon:** *(Angry)* Ok, that’s it!

**Mee:** What?

**Allon:** You’ve been calling me "Alvin" ever since I first met you! And it’s almost starting to really annoy me! Either you call me by my actual name right now, or I'm not gonna save you!

**Mee:** Oh come on!

**Allon:** No, I mean it!

**Mee:** All right all right, tch, *(mocking)*, save me, Kevin.

**Allon:** That’s not my name either.

**Mee:** Steve.

**Allon:** No.

**Mee:** Manwell.

**Allon:** No.

**Mee:** Pugsly.

**Allon:** No.

*(23 names later, man)*

**Mee:** Travis.

**Allon:** No.

**Mee:** Uderik.

**Allon:** No. *(Now with a moustache)*

**Mee:** Philip Horseman.

**Allon:** No.

**Mee:** OK this is stupid, all right? I don't know your name. So you may as well just leave me here to be eaten like some kind of melon.

**Allon:** *(happy)* Did you just say Allon!?

**Mee:** No I said melon!

**Allon:** Close enough. *(unchains Mee)*

*(Cut back to the planet. A handcuffed Female Space Tree, Space Tree, Allon, Commander, and Mee holding a shotgun are all standing outside the spaceship.)*

**Space Tree:** Well well, Female Space Tree, I bet you thought you were gonna get away with eating my crew, didn’t you. *(sunglasses appear)* But you didn’t count on old Space Tree classic figuring out your plan right from the beginning.

**Mee:** Man, what are you talking about. You were just sitting down here on this planet looking at skeletons all day while I was up there getting piped to the head.

**Commander:** Yeah, and stop saying we're your crew, Space Tree.

**Allon:** Also, if I hadn’t saved Meelord, we never would have been able to overpower this broad and get back here --

**Space Tree:** Whoa whoa, hold on a second Allon. Did you just say "broad"?

**Allon:** Um, yes?

**Space Tree:** Allon Amanolla, there is no room in my crew for that kind of sexist, mechanistic language, young man. You go to your room this instant and wash your despicable mouth out with soap.

**Allon:** Oh come on, Space Tree, I learned the word from him (indicates Mee); I don’t even know what it means.

**Space Tree:** I said get the hell out of my sight!

**Allon:** Yeah, what sight... *(enters ship)*

**Space Tree:** Sorry about that, Female Space Tree, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

**Female Space Tree:** You can let me eat the blond kid.

**Space Tree:** Anything that doesn’t involve eating?

**Female Space Tree:** Whatever, just go. But you haven’t heard the last of me!

**Mee:** Yeah, whatever, you crazy fat bitch.

*(Zoom out. The ship blasts off. Female Space Tree is left behind, a small figure approaches her.)*

**Bobby:** What happened Mommy? Did you bring back Christmas dinner?

**Female Space Tree:** No Bobby, I'm afraid Christmas is ruined once again.

**Bobby:** Aw. Well I guess I'll go and get in the oven. *(Walks offscreen.)*

*(Roll Credits)*

## Easter Eggs

There are three of Space Tree's pipes at the end screen.

* The one at the right top

*(cut to Mee and Female Space Tree in the Command Center)*draw-a-face
**MEE:** What are they? Some of those wax lips? *(tears off the lips of female ST)*
* The one at the middle, which gives a picture of the Commander without a face. Fans who drew their own version of the Commander's face over this template and emailed them to Ed Atlin would in return receive a link to the March 2006 Secret Page.
	+ This easter egg was removed once the montage video of the drawings of the Commander's face that were sent in was added to the April 2006 Secret Page.
* The one at the bottom

*(cut to Allon walking through the ship)*
**ALLON:** *(Singing, then stops)* Wait a second, I don't have a room.

## Fun Facts

* Female Space Tree is voiced by Kagome Higurashi, a veteran of Bonus Stage and countless other Flash toons. She is the first female voice contributor to Space Tree The Space Tree In Space.

* Including the specials, this was the 50th Space Tree cartoon made.
* This is the first episode with a file size above 3 MBs.
* Allon claims he can't read but he does at the beginning.
* Though Meelord says he doesn't known Allon's actual name, he calls him "Allon" a few times in other episodes. One such example would be Frame Game.

## References

* Professor Clerman stole Space Tree's money way back in Commander in a Dress.
* While Mee tries to guess Allon's name, he uses several names from other episodes:
	+ Alvin and Kevin were first used in Allon's Crib
	+ Travis is the name the Commander used in Space Tea
	+ Uderick is a part of the Commander's real name
	+ And who could forget Philip Seymour Horseman?
* In The Crown, when Mee starts talking about how he still has no superpowers, he says: "Well your female Space Tree can eat me, I'm tryin' to talk about my superpower problems." Then, in this episode, she does in fact try to do so.
* When Meelord says "I don't want to get all Brokeback on you", he is referring to Brokeback Mountain, a movie about gay cowboys.
* Pugsly was a child in the Addams Family.
* Mee's mention of his Thetan levels is a reference to the beliefs of scientology.
* The page title, "Not to be confused with 'The Sword'" refers to an instance of *Saturday Night Live's* recurring *Jeopardy!* parodies, in which Sean Connery mistakes the category "S Words" for "Swords."
* The Boy at the end talking to space tree FEMALE is a spoof off of Tiny Tim from the classic musical, A Christmas Carol.