Episode 38: CLOWNFTDT

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

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## Idea Details

* Idea: CLOWNFTDT
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: (Josiah: "OK so we're talking about NFTs, supply and 'da man'.") Not quite. Not quite. (Josiah: "Ston- we already talked about stonks! We already talked about stonks!") Josiah, Josiah, you're watching the video, which is great. You're watching the video, it's perfect! It's great, I love it. Perf. (Josiah: "You love that I'm watching it?") Yeah, I love that you're paying attention. But you're not lookin at it the same way that I look at it. Because I've trained my mind to look at the big picture and to take a broad look. Look at the entire globe and not just a tiny piece of the planet, because when you look at a tiny piece of the planet, you look at the ground, what is it? Flat. But we all know when you look at the entire globe - (Josiah: \*coughing\*) Shut the fuck up! (Josiah: \*cough\* "Excuse me." \*cough\*) When you look at the entire globe, it's round. So clearly, when you're not looking at just a part of the picture, you're not getting the whole picture. Do you understand? So maybe I want you to keep that in mind and I want you to keep that in mind and I want you to watch this video. \*Josiah and Drew watch a video about Tiktok hustles for teens\* Do you understand? (Josiah: "OK so this 70 year old man appears to be sort of trying to get on the level of children, which is - can have nefarious end results if somebody is kind of trying to get children used to cuss words and kind of adult languages and scenarios, that sometimes goes wrong but it seems like this guy, this old man who's talking to children has good intentions to help them, I guess, be able to make money? To part from their parents? So that they can be independent earlier away from their parents and guardians?") No, I don't think it's that, necessarily. I think he just wants the teens to be able to go out there and make a honest dollar without having to go and get - sneak into whatever cash registers or into their parents' pockets or taking whatever diamonds from their grandmas. He wants them to be working honestly. But again, Josie- Jo- J- J- Josiah, you're looking at just a piece of the puzzle and you're not looking at the entire picture, because - (Josiah: "Well that's because I don't - you're pa- you're still pa- you're doing such a poor job of painting the picture.") Well, no I'm not! I'm not! It's you're doing a poor artist - or a poor job at - you're doing a poor job as an audience and not paying attention to me. (Josiah: "I think you kno- I don't think you can blame the au- if - you know - ") I'm not blaming *the* audience, I'm blaming you. (Josiah: "The great comedians don't blame the au- the - it's the - in fact, the audience is the final judge and jury and executioner. If the audience ain't laughin then uh you ain't uh..." ) I disagree. I disagree. I disagree. I think the final arbiter of what's funny and what makes me laugh is what makes the most change in the world. And I think part of that is being online. (Josiah: "Okay so what we're talking about - I think what you're talking about right now is maybe - I'm trying to understand. I think what you're getting at is that, no matter what your idea is, you have to sell the idea. Is that fair to - is it something like this? Sorry to interrupt, but is it something like this? Marketing? This is a job interview uploaded to YouTube to be a marketing assistant. It's all about ticking boxes.") I mean, it is about ticking boxes, but it's also about takin a step back and looking at all the boxes and not just a single box and not just a single tick and to look at the entire - (Josiah: "So are you talking about like direct mail, flyers, uh -") Here's what I'm talking about, Josiah. We started off talking about NFTs, right? (Josiah: "We started off talking about Nixon, I think.") That's a non-fungible token. But what good is an NFT if there's - what if there's - no uh if there's - what if you have an NFT but there's no fuckin traders. Trader. There's another - T-R-A-D-E-R-S. And when I mean when I say that - (Josiah: "There's a lot of traitors T-R-A-I-T-O-R-S. Once you get NFTs there's numerous fuckin traitors.") Yep that's true, but this is T-R-A-D-E-R-S. And by that, I mean people who find links online, so like things like NFTs or to tweets or to Facebook links or to pictures, like your art gallery or your DeviantArt, and send them along to somebody who might be interested. So, for example, I'm somebody who RTs a lot of small creators, so I see myself - (Josiah: "And I just wanna - let me pause you for one second there, for the people who are listening who might not know about this kind of stuff. I mean, what is exactly a creator? I know about *the* Creator, of course: uh God. But what about our creators? When you say 'a creator', are you talking about Pabbo Picasso or someone of that such nature?") Well, it could be anything from a shrimp uh being found inside of a - of a - of a uh - of a - a uh a hot carl bag. (Josiah: "I think he found it in his dick hole.") Is that true? (Josiah: "And he was jacking off and then he found a tip of a shrimp in his dick - his cock hole opening. And there was a shrimp in there docking into him.") Yeah, well there's people like that. That's a creator. There's also um I guess like YouTubers, um TikTokers, not really artists, but creators - content creators. People who are not satisfied with seeing the empty world. They need to go out into it. And like God, they need to create. And that's what content creators are: they're our modern Gods. And they're better than Jesus Christ or anybody. And I fucking love them. (Josiah: "Okay so you're talkin like swag, you're talkin swag, I understand what you're saying, I'm gettin rock-hard over here mentally, and I'm ready to go. So rip me into what's - put me in the dream blunt rotation of ideas and let's just fuckin jam it out.") All right. I want engagement on all content, Josiah. I want it to be increased - how many people are on the planet? Six billion? I wanna increase six billion percent. I want everybody to be checking out everybody's content, I want every- (Josiah: "Hang on one second. Sorry, I get caught up cause I think this is engagement is a numbers game, really. So if there's six billion people on the planet, and you want engagement to increase by six billion percent, is that one percent per person or is that a hund- each one has to do - cause I think everyone should be doing 110% at all times.") Well, a single person's one of six billion, so it's for them to be giving 110%, they're still gonna equal up to six billion. It's a six billion percent of 110, if that makes any sense. (Josiah: "So if you want the Earth to increase engagement, there's six billion people, and you want it to increase by six billion percent, that to me sounds like everyone's just doing 1% engagement.") Yeah, but no - each 1% is 100 - each 1% of uh is uh person to give 110%. Does that make sense? If each percent could be 110%. (Josiah: "I just can't find my calculator.") Well, there's usually calculator on your computer. (Josiah: "Yeah but it's bl - my wife blocked it on mine because I keep typing in you-know-what.") What? (Josiah: "The word 'boob'. Into my calculator.") How do you do that? (Josiah: "It's 8-O-8-O-8-O, or something. That say Bobo.") That doesn't look like 'boobs' at all. (Josiah: "So okay. So each person on Earth - I'm still - I believe you about - math was never my strong suit, I'm more of a ideas guy.") Right. That's clear. (Josiah: "So you want engagement to go up on posts.") Yeah. I want everybody - basically, every- I want everybody to be at the same level. So it doesn't matter if - (Josiah: "That's uh social. Ism. Soci- you're talking about socialize - socialism - social media - socialismedia. Socialismedia. Socialismedia.") Yeah. Well it's - I guess I would call it more like SoCal media. Does that ma- is this making sense? 1%? (Josiah: "So you're saying we need engagement to go up , so you're saying if somebody creates a piece of - I think it is all art. I think we're done with the gatekeeping, it's art! And so you're saying if somebody creates something that is art, like say a 15-second video about how children should just fuckin uh shovel driveways to get their cash up and get some bank to hit a lick, so to speak, and if they do that, they create that art, and you're saying then they should get more engagements from it.") Yeah! (Josiah: "What is an engagement also? Just - I know what it is, but there's a lot of idiots who listen to this.") Well it's just eyes on the product. (Josiah: "And what is the product here?") That's the content. That's the art. That's the product is the post, it's the video, it's the NFT, it's the mp3. (Josiah: "Is it the children are prod- are the product?") No, but they create it. So in a way, they are. And then there's the traders. (Josiah: "Are you saying 'traitors', like betrayer - betrayal?") No: T-R-A-D-E-R-S. (Josiah: "Okay so you're talking about like if someone does a team follow back, like-for-like, add me to your Spotify playlist, I'll give you some money for that, I'll pay you to start a podcast with me. That kind of thing?") Yeah. That sort of thing. I think, I mean maybe a more intuitive term would be like 'influencer', but that doesn't work with - cause if you have - what's the - good - what's the good of having an NFT if you have no - (Josiah: "N-fluence! Is that what you're saying?") Mmm. Not exactly. (Josiah: "You just dropped the I-word and I do wanna know - you know, again, these fuckin idiots that listen, what is an influencer exactly?") Well, I think in a way, we already are influencers. But our - we haven't engaged enough people for the brands to reach us. The brands don't wanna work with us because we haven't engaged enough people. So imagine if, instead of having low engagement like we currently do, we had our current engagement times six billion percent? (Josiah: "1% per person.") 1% per person is and each percent 110%. Think about it - Josiah, think about it, if this is simpler, as an apple pie. Each - (Josiah: "Okay. I hope that you don't -") Come on! I know what you're gonna say, I know what you're gonna say, but I'm not gonna eat up the pie. I'm not gonna eat it up off the windowsill. (Josiah: "Oh you'll eat it up. You'll hit it from the back.") I don't know what you mean. But no, if you think about it, six - so, imagine you have - (Josiah: "I'm just trying to figure out the math alone, because that's the one thing I'm just getting a bit confused about.") Okay. Imagine you have six pies. And each pie represents a billion percent. And then each pie is made up of - it could be sliced up in a billion different ways. But each slice - (Josiah: "Okay there's six pies - I'm trying to make sure I get this. There's six pies, and there's six pies, each pie can be cut up a billion different ways. Is that right?") Right. Six pies that equals six billion that can be divided up a billion ways each. A single pie with a billion possibilities. (Josiah: "And that represents uh social media?") Yeah but within each single pie that you can slice, each slice is 110% the best pie. (Josiah: "Okay I get it now. I'm sorry, it just took me a little while, but yeah, I get it now. So it's six billion percent is 1% per person and each piece of pie is 110% cause it's just so damn good.") Right. So I guess, let me spell it out for you since you haven't been able to see the forest from the trees. I'm talking about enforced engagement. (Josiah: "Enfo- okay that's the key word there, I think, I'm starting to think about keywords, SEO, metadata, HQML, and to me the word that stands out to me from what you're influencing onto me and into me right now - what you're putting inside of my body with your influence is the word 'enforced'. So you're saying enforced engagement.") Yeah. We want people to be not only engaged with our posts, but enforced to engage with our posts. (Josiah: "So they are enforced to do it.") Or whatever content. What I'm picturing is a world where creators have a built-in audience, which is the world. The entire planet. Imagine if each of the great artists - imagine, Josiah - imagine if Picasso, instead of having, I don't know, a million followers and fans, imagine - (Josiah: "That's pretty good already.") Yeah, for a painter. (Josiah: "And do you think they clicked the uh button to make sure that it shows up in their feed? Cause sometimes it's hidden.") Maybe. Imagine if six billion people liked Picasso. Imagine how far art would have come if, instead of, you know, people uh um looking at porno of dinosaurs, big fat dinosaurs, with big blown-up stomachs and big old feet shootin cum on each other. Imagine if people - (Josiah: "What, sorry - I got lo- sorry. How does that - you want that to become more popular?") No, I want - we want Picasso to be six billion times - (Josiah: "So you're saying instead people will be jacking off to Pablo Picasso.") Well, I don't know if they're jackin off to it or not. Probably some people are, I mean he did portraits. And he might - maybe your - (Josiah: "There's some freaky shit in there.") Yeah. Maybe your uh - you got nothin to jack off to, the only thing you got is this Pablo Picasso painting, and you just gotta make it work. You're a horny teenager and all you have is the work of Pablo Picasso. (Josiah: "And that's engagement! So you're saying you need to kill the competition. If your brand is jackoff fodder, then you need to make sure no one more horny-making than you is alive.") But of course, I mean, enforced engagement - we want to be the ones who are enforcing it. We don't want to be enforced, right? (Josiah: "Well, I mean, that goes without saying. Our id- it's our idea so we get to - we called it.") Right. (Josiah: "So how do we enforce - and I assume you're just talking about engagement specifically with the internet online sphere of the internet - not - we're not talking about print media or, you know, sculptures.") Yeah, I think just online. Well, I mean, yeah, how do you engage a sculpture? (Josiah: "I know. It's bullshit art form.") Yeah, so we're talking about real art like uh NFTs, uh YouTube, uh stocks, uh - (Josiah: "Stonks. Chonky stonks.") Right. Memes. (Josiah: "Oh the meme-o-sphere is ripe for engagement. And I love memes. I think they're - they tell the truth as well.") Well I love the fact that they're funny. (Josiah: "So how do we enforce engage? How do we do that?") Well, I think the first thing we start to do is have engagement parties. We'll have - we'll set up, I guess, maybe we can use like the uh like stadiums of the certain cities, and we'll have everybody - everybody will be rounded up, and we'll have a number of different posts, maybe we'll have our favorite tweets, our favorite YouTubes, um our favorite NFTs, we'll have those - (Josiah: "So it's a party where they have NFTs - okay, I'm just trying to picture this party. Okay, hang on, hang on. Let's start outside. So I'm pulling up, I took an Uber. Because I don't care about the um human rights atrocity, you know, I know people switched to Lyft for a while because the owners of Uber were such piece of shit, a little bit more than Lyft. I don't care about that, because I just know branding is key. Uber is the one. So I pull up in an Uber, got my Yeezy Boosts on, I walk in to the club, what do I see when I walk inside?") Well you're gonna see a lot of people, you're gonna see uh I guess - (Josiah: "Is it socially distanced?") No, the pandemic's over. (Josiah: "Okay phewf. I was worried.") There's going - you're gonna walk in, you're gonna be shaved, um - (Josiah: "You mean I will have shaved before I went to the club?") No, your face will be shaved. We want all men clean shaven. No beards. No mustaches. You enter, you're corralled into the pen by the Engagement Officers, and then you're forced to uh watch content and retweet and buy NFTs all day long, uh you have to - there's a lineup of phones, and you just go up one after the other and look at the content and sign into your whatever account you need to sign into, logout the previous person's account, login to yours, do whatever you have to do, like, subscribe, repost, retweet, re-blog it, whatever you gotta do. If you logout - if you remember to logout, do that. If not, the next person in line's gonna have to logout for you - (Josiah: "What happens if you stay logged in and someone does something, you know, they do a goof onto you?") Well I guess they're - I mean that's just part of the internet, if you don't log off. But I think generally after, I mean the way this pandemic has sort of, I mean, it brought us apart, now it's bringing us together, I think the human race has kind of turned a corner and I don't think we're gonna be trying to - we're not gonna be doing that shit in 2021. (Josiah: "That was from the before time.") Yeah. Once we're all vaccinated, things are gonna be different, my friends. There will be no trolling online. (Josiah: "There's no trolls allowed. The influen- the Engagement Officers will - they'll uh euthanize trolls.") Yeah. And they'll have guns and they will use force to kill anybody who steps out of line, and that's just the reality of it, I'm sorry. But that's just the way it is. If you're not on board with the project uh you're gonna get a bullet in your head. That's how it goes. (Josiah: "Okay so are you saying - I'm trying to understand - so this nightclub where we're all clean shaven, and I assume nothing - the women, they just get to go in or is there a dress code for them - is there a face code for them as well?") No. (Josiah: "Okay yeah. I mean, that's good. Cause it has to be - we need to still be progressive, you know, we can't be enforce en-") It's equality. (Josiah: "Um so this - you said this is for influencers, but you're also telling me that the six billion percent pipe dream, which I believe will become a reality, that requires everyone to become an influencer.") Well that's exactly the next step. Once these influencers, I mean eventually, I mean think about it, Josiah - if we get everybody to go to these clubs, the people who are not influencing will not be leaving the clubs, if you understand. (Josiah: "Right, so it's kind of an influence - I don't want to say 'cleansing', but kind of a filter. It's almost like a filter in and of itself.") It's a bit of a cult. (Josiah: "Yeah. I mean it's just pure numbers, it's SEO, it's uh -") Look, guys, this is all about - and I say 'guys' speaking to you and to the audience - everybody - this is all for the betterment of our engagements and getting traffic up on your site. (Josiah: "So I guess what my big question, I obviously love the idea, I love the internet, I'm definitely like way more URL than I am IRL, if you know what I'm saying. I love to be surfin that net, and I love to post and like, and I love to boost engagement, I love to find people who are one rung above me and have them sort of lift me up via likes. I love being in the cloud and I love chasing clout and I love the cloudt. Cloudt. Cloudt. That's what - if you could combine cloud and clout, I think that would be a good name for something. Cloudt. Cloudt.") Yeah, it could be called Cloudt. What if that's the name of the club! (Josiah: "CLOUDT. Hard to say it, but I think it would look really nice on the -") It would be spelled C-L-O-W-T. (Josiah: "Well I was thinking - you know how the internet is in the cloud now, so you're missing -") Yeah. C-L-O-W-D. (Josiah: "C-L-O-W-D-T. Cause we need to get 'clout' in there. And then you're spelling it the way that clown is spelled, so I don't know what that's about.") I gotta write it down. I gotta write it down to see. (Josiah: "C-L-O- We could do your way and have a clown mascot as well. C-L-O-W-N-D-T.") C-L-O-W-N- CLOWNDT. C-L-O-U-N-D-T. Is that it? (Josiah: "Hang on, hang on, I have more. Well yeah, that's the first one but this jam sesh is going so well I have more. So we're gonna combine 'clown', which is goofing around online and that's what we're trying to drive engagement on is our posts specifically which is us goofing around so it's clown. It's happening on the cloud and we're chasing that clout. But also something you keep talking about all episode is these dang NFTs. So I think we already have the 'N' in there, we gotta do this: C-L-O-W-") C-L-O-W- (Josiah: "N-F-T-") N-F-T- (Josiah: "D-T!") D-T. (Josiah: "Does that work?") CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT. (Josiah: "CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT.") CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT.
* Timetable: The timetable for implementing CLOWNFTDT was not said specifically, although it was stated that it would take place post-pandemic and after the human race has evolved past the need for trolling, which is accurate as of the year 2021. CLOWNFTDT should be ready to go as soon as all websites except for theCHIVE are taken down, and after all cities' sports stadiums are converted into CLOWNFTDT nightclubs.
* Idea details:
	+ CLOWNFTDT is a nightclub held in the stadiums of certain cities where engagement parties will be held.
	+ These engagement parties seek to increase engagement by six billion percent, using each of the six billion people on the planet to get 110% out of each of them.
	+ Everybody in the area nearby to the stadiums will be rounded up and forced to go to the CLOWNFTDT engagement party.
	+ CLOWNFTDT has no social distancing guidelines because the pandemic is over.
	+ All men who are rounded up and taken to CLOWNFTDT will be shaved upon arrival because they want all men clean shaven: no beards, no mustaches. This same standard will not be applied to women as a result of being progressive and demonstrating equality.
	+ Engagement Officers will corral everyone who was rounded up to go to CLOWNFTDT into a pen.
		- Note: These Engagement Officers are distinct from the World Wide Security Initiative and the World Wide Police Force, as their sole responsibility is rounding up, corralling, and engagement enforcing the people at CLOWNFTDT.
	+ After being corralled into a pen, everyone at CLOWNFTDT will watch content and retweet and buy NFTs during the entirety of their stay. There will be a lineup of phones and each person will just go up one after the other and look at the content and sign into their accounts after signing the previous person out of their accounts if they forgot to logout.
		- Note: This idea seems to contradict the elimination of the internet in Episode 8: World Wide Web and the elimination of all other forms of media in Episode 31: Mandatory Warhol. Presumably, as with World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service and World Wide Comedy, this line of phones that are on Twitter and YouTube and buying NFTs would somehow be worked into the World Wide Web can-and-strings.
	+ The pandemic brought us apart but now it's actually bringing us back together because the human race has turned a corner and will not be trolling anymore as of 2021.
	+ The Engagement Officers at CLOWNFTDT will punish anyone who is not on board with the project, as well as any trolls, by shooting them in the head.
	+ Everyone rounded up and brought to CLOWNFTDT will become an influencer by measure of their presence and activities while there. Anyone who is unable to successfully influence will not be leaving, so to speak.
	+ CLOWNFTDT is so named because it is a portmanteau of 'clown' (in reference to goofing around to drive engagement on posts), 'NFT' (in reference to NFTs, or non-fungible tokens), 'cloud' (in reference to engagement being driven on the cloud, in internet jargon), and 'clout' (in reference to chasing that clout).
	+ CLOWNFTDT will have a clown mascot.
	+ Drew will be the only poster left on Earth after the implementation of CLOWNFTDT. Everyone else in the world will like and retweet his posts. Anyone who does not will be corralled into a pen at CLOWNFTDT and threatened with death, as previously described. This includes Josiah, who, if he was truly Drew's friend, would not need to be forced into engaging with his posts.
	+ The percent increase in engagement does not necessarily need to equal six billion percent, as long as it's big, although that will be enforced under threat of death by the Engagement Officers. Six billion is always gonna represent the whole planet, so even if six billion is no longer six billion, it's still six billion percent.
	+ The engagement parties at CLOWNFTDT are actually a plan by Drew to get engaged.
	+ Drew will be in charge of the internet, which is only gonna be theCHIVE after all other websites are taken down, and everyone is forced at gunpoint to like and retweet all his posts in the nightclub CLOWNFTDT and also he's gonna find a wife.
		- Note: It is unclear what this means for the joke submission website created as part of World Wide Comedy, although presumably it would be shut down as well.

## Devil Play

* Josiah played devil by pointing out that Drew will not get his desired six billion percent increase in engagement from forcing six billion people to do 110% if they're killing the people who aren't engaging with Drew's posts.
	+ Drew responded that, as a whole, six billion is always gonna represent the whole planet, so even if six billion is no longer six billion, it's still six billion percent.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew sang vocal warm-ups along with the video "5 MINUTE VOCAL WARM UP". After the first few repetitions, Josiah wasn't taking it as seriously as Drew so Drew made them start over.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Here's how to warm up your voice before you speak".
* Drew played piss sounds as music.
* Drew did an impression of Richard Nixon.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What Will Happen Next Now That Taco Bell Has Made an NFT?".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video uploaded by GaryVee about TikTok hustle ideas for teens.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Marketing Assistant Interview".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video uploaded by Rosh Sillars about touching your customers and being intimate with them.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What is Influencer | Explained in 2 min".
* Josiah and Drew discussed the inherent differences between being an influencer and a poster, where the influencer merely influences by up-liking and down-liking and subscribing to posts made by the poster.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video uploaded by GaryVee about hot takes that are valuable for the audience.
* Josiah and Drew discussed extending the length of their episodes to two and a half hours by not editing so much anymore.
* Drew brought up a potential future idea, whereby everybody would be renamed D-Roc.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about using social media to increase foot traffic at your storefront.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Percent Increase - MathHelp.com - Pre Algebra Help".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "💍 💃 How to Plan Your Engagement Party: Ideas & Tips".

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Drew, a lot of things in the news today, there's a man who is a uh - well, I don't know when people are gonna listen to this so we should try to make it more evergreen. There's a man who did something and he has since become a - and he's the main character and he's become milk - milked. His mama milkers have been duct. And he's bad and he's cancelled and he's cringe and I loved him. And I was his biggest fan and now I spit on him."
* "Welcome to Globe Hell Warning: the internet's only pure comedy political mind-meld podcast show about the issues that we face and how to fix them and um I'm here with uh my guest Drew."
* "Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm."
* "Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum."
* "I'm realizing we could have done this before probably."
* "Blll lll lll lll lll lll lll."
* "Bbb bbb bbb bbb bbb bbb bbb."
* "Bllllllllllllllllllll."
* "Bll bll bll bll bll bll bll."
* "Gwagggggggg."
* "Goog goog goog goog goog goog goog."
* "This was the shorter vocal warm-up on this channel, too."
* "[On the topic of doing head rolls] Guillotine. Heads will roll."
* "[On the topic of Virginia Tech] If you went to that school, it would be called Virgin Tech."
* "[In response to Drew's question about whether he's seen any good movies recently] Goog. Goog goog. Goog."
* "*Nixon* (film). *Nixon* is a 1995 American epic historical drama film directed by Oliver Stone, produced by Clayton Townsend, Stone, and Andrew C. Andrew G. Vagina [sic]. The film was written by Stone, Christopher Wilkinson, and Stephen R. [sic] Rievele, with significant contributions from project consultants."
* "Wait, this man's name is Drew Vagina!"
* "That'd be cool. If you ever got married, you could change your last name to your wife's last name uh which would be Vagina if she had one, I guess, you could make that the -"
* "Do you have an idea this week, or... I hear you're playing piss sounds and I like that."
* "[In response to Drew telling him to try and guess this week's discussion topic] Piss. Boys who piss. Pissing boy."
* "Supply. What comes with supply? 'Da man'. When you're doing like dope swaggy things like this in business, then you're working with supply and 'da man'. You da man."
* "OK so we're talking about NFTs, supply and 'da man'. Ston- we already talked about stonks! We already talked about stonks!"
* "OK so this 70 year old man appears to be sort of trying to get on the level of children, which is - can have nefarious end results if somebody is kind of trying to get children used to cuss words and kind of adult languages and scenarios, that sometimes goes wrong but it seems like this guy, this old man who's talking to children has good intentions to help them, I guess, be able to make money? To part from their parents? So that they can be independent earlier away from their parents and guardians?"
* "[In response to Drew repeatedly saying Josiah is only looking at a piece of the puzzle and not looking at the entire picture] Well that's because I don't - you're pa- you're still pa- you're doing such a poor job of painting the picture."
* "[In response to Drew saying Josiah is doing a poor job as an audience and not paying attention to him] I think you kno- I don't think you can blame the au- if - you know - the great comedians don't blame the au- the - it's the - in fact, the audience is the final judge and jury and executioner. If the audience ain't laughin then uh you ain't uh..."
* "He's talking about touching your customers and being intimate with them."
* "And I just wanna - let me pause you for one second there, for the people who are listening who might not know about this kind of stuff. I mean, what is exactly a creator? I know about *the* Creator, of course: uh God. But what about our creators? When you say 'a creator', are you talking about Pabbo Picasso or someone of that such nature?"
* "I think he found it in his dick hole. And he was jacking off and then he found a tip of a shrimp in his dick - his cock hole opening. And there was a shrimp in there docking into him."
* "Okay so you're talkin like swag, you're talkin swag, I understand what you're saying, I'm gettin rock-hard over here mentally, and I'm ready to go. So rip me into what's - put me in the dream blunt rotation of ideas and let's just fuckin jam it out."
* "It's 8-O-8-O-8-O, or something. That say Bobo."
* "That's uh social. Ism. Soci- you're talking about socialize - socialism - social media - socialismedia. Socialismedia. Socialismedia."
* "[On the topic of Drew not eating a pie off of a windowsill] Oh you'll eat it up. You'll hit it from the back."
* "So it's six billion percent is 1% per person and each piece of pie is 110% cause it's just so damn good."
* "So you're saying you need to kill the competition. If your brand is jackoff fodder, then you need to make sure no one more horny-making than you is alive."
* "So it's a party where they have NFTs - okay, I'm just trying to picture this party. Okay, hang on, hang on. Let's start outside. So I'm pulling up, I took an Uber. Because I don't care about the um human rights atrocity, you know, I know people switched to Lyft for a while because the owners of Uber were such piece of shit, a little bit more than Lyft. I don't care about that, because I just know branding is key. Uber is the one. So I pull up in an Uber, got my Yeezy Boosts on, I walk in to the club, what do I see when I walk inside?"
* "So I guess what my big question, I obviously love the idea, I love the internet, I'm definitely like way more URL than I am IRL, if you know what I'm saying. I love to be surfin that net, and I love to post and like, and I love to boost engagement, I love to find people who are one rung above me and have them sort of lift me up via likes. I love being in the cloud and I love chasing clout and I love the cloudt. Cloudt. Cloudt. That's what - if you could combine cloud and clout, I think that would be a good name for something. Cloudt. Cloudt."
* "Hang on, hang on, I have more. Well yeah, that's the first one but this jam sesh is going so well I have more. So we're gonna combine 'clown', which is goofing around online and that's what we're trying to drive engagement on is our posts specifically which is us goofing around so it's clown. It's happening on the cloud and we're chasing that clout. But also something you keep talking about all episode is these dang NFTs. So I think we already have the 'N' in there, we gotta do this: C-L-O-W-N-F-T-D-T! Does that work? CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT."
* "I would hope that you're not gonna force me to be corralled and threatened with death, but I'm happy to just DJ the club. CLOWNFTDT."
* "Let me just say this right now, uh death threat or not, and I'm saying this to you, Drew, directly, doesn't apply to anyone else: if you want me to retweet one of your posts, all you gotta do is ask. Just message me - link me the post and say, 'Can you retweet this? Why haven't you retweeted this yet?' Send it to me, I'll gladly do it."
* "[On the topic of GaryVee's name] GaryVee, okay 'Gary': a classic young person name. Perfect."
* "[In response to GaryVee saying 'fuckin'] He curses a lot! He went exclusively on Viddler!"
* "[On the topic of GaryVee] He's a porno guy?"
* "[On the topic of GaryVee] So one thing I'm taking from this is he's saying that we don't need to be editing these so much."
* "Now is the time to cash in - cash in on your passion!"
* "No, but a person is a store - an influencer person is a store."
* "So we wanna go increase."
* "But we need to figure out six billion."
* "That would be good thing to say: 'spare some change' and then in brackets 'sociali- socialism. Socially'."
* "So how do we figure out the amount of change if we're going six billion percent of six billion people? This lady's a fuckin moron."
* "[In response to Drew repeating that the six billion percent increase in engagement will be enforced] It's not gonna be six billion if you're killing the people who aren't liking your posts!"
* "Wait so in Australia, are engagement parties different? You love them so much that you engage with their posts."
* "So we're gonna - you're gonna be in charge of the internet, it's gonna be theCHIVE, everyone is forced at gunpoint to like and retweet all your posts in the nightclub CLOWNFTDT and also you're gonna find a wife. I still really do believe that with all my heart."

### Drew

* "Mommy milky."
* "Warm up how? Is this improv?"
* "Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm."
* "Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum."
* "Take it seriously."
* "[On the topic of lip roll arpeggios] I don't know how to do this!"
* "Gsrg gsrg gsrg gsrg gsrg gsrg gsrg."
* "Wehhhh iskkkk."
* "Goog goog goog goog goog goog goog."
* "It must be hard for you not saying 'gaga' after 'goo goo' cause you're - kee hee hee hee - let's go! Gotcha!"
* "[On the topic of doing head rolls] Hey, how bout an eggroll?"
* "[After doing vocal warm-ups] I feel almost like my voice is tired. Like I need to take a break. So I might take a fiver, if you could just talk about something interesting. You see any movies recently? Did you watch *Zack Snyder's Justice* -"
* "Yeah, well I want you to talk about maybe a movie you've watched or something. Something interesting, something engaging, so that I could take a break. If you were to talk about - if I sent you a movie Wikipedia, would you read that? And uh read the Wikipedia uh so I could take a break?"
* "\*Doing a Nixon impression\* He said, 'I need - uh get me t- uh ham- uh just like Harold and Kumar, we need to go to Watergate.'"
* "It'd be so nice to work in a business where you had swag."
* "[On the topic of working in a business wearing a dad hat] Yeah, you're not allowed to have a shower before going to work. You have to have just finished a run."
* "[In response to Josiah saying the 70 year old man in the video they were watching was trying to help kids to make money to part from their parents so they can be independent earlier away from their parents and guardians] No, I don't think it's that, necessarily. I think he just wants the teens to be able to go out there and make a honest dollar without having to go and get - sneak into whatever cash registers or into their parents' pockets or taking whatever diamonds from their grandmas. He wants them to be working honestly. But again, Josie- Jo- J- J- Josiah, you're looking at just a piece of the puzzle and you're not looking at the entire picture, because -"
* "[In response to Josiah saying Drew is doing such a poor job of painting the picture] Well, no I'm not! I'm not! It's you're doing a poor artist - or a poor job at - you're doing a poor job as an audience and not paying attention to me."
* "[In response to Josiah saying that Drew cannot blame the audience for his own failings] I'm not blaming *the* audience, I'm blaming you."
* "[In response to Josiah saying the audience is the final judge and jury and executioner of what's funny] I disagree. I disagree. I disagree. I think the final arbiter of what's funny and what makes me laugh is what makes the most change in the world. And I think part of that is being online."
* "Who is this bald man?"
* "[On the topic of touching your customers and being intimate with them] Well that is - that is kind of what I'm talking about. That is what I'm talking about."
* "Stop laughing at this old man!"
* "[In response to Josiah's question about what he means when he says 'creators'] Well, it could be anything from a shrimp uh being found inside of a - of a - of a uh - of a - a uh a hot carl bag."
* "Well, a single person's one of six billion, so it's for them to be giving 110%, they're still gonna equal up to six billion. It's a six billion percent of 110, if that makes any sense."
* "Yeah, but no - each 1% is 100 - each 1% of uh is uh person to give 110%. Does that make sense? If each percent could be 110%."
* "[On the topic of socialismedia] Yeah. Well it's - I guess I would call it more like SoCal media. Does that ma- is this making sense? 1%?"
* "So imagine if, instead of having low engagement like we currently do, we had our current engagement times six billion percent? 1% per person is and each percent 110%."
* "Imagine you have six pies. And each pie represents a billion percent. And then each pie is made up of - it could be sliced up in a billion different ways. But each slice -"
* "Right. Six pies that equals six billion that can be divided up a billion ways each. A single pie with a billion possibilities."
* "Yeah but within each single pie that you can slice, each slice is 110% the best pie."
* "Imagine if six billion people liked Picasso. Imagine how far art would have come if, instead of, you know, people uh um looking at porno of dinosaurs, big fat dinosaurs, with big blown-up stomachs and big old feet shootin cum on each other."
* "[On the topic of people jacking off to Pablo Picasso] Well, I don't know if they're jackin off to it or not. Probably some people are, I mean he did portraits. And he might - maybe your - yeah. Maybe your uh - you got nothin to jack off to, the only thing you got is this Pablo Picasso painting, and you just gotta make it work. You're a horny teenager and all you have is the work of Pablo Picasso."
* "There's going - you're gonna walk in, you're gonna be shaved, um - no, your face will be shaved. We want all men clean shaven. No beards. No mustaches. You enter, you're corralled into the pen by the Engagement Officers, and then you're forced to uh watch content and retweet and buy NFTs all day long, uh you have to - there's a lineup of phones, and you just go up one after the other and look at the content and sign into your whatever account you need to sign into, logout the previous person's account, login to yours, do whatever you have to do, like, subscribe, repost, retweet, re-blog it, whatever you gotta do. If you logout - if you remember to logout, do that. If not, the next person in line's gonna have to logout for you."
* "Once we're all vaccinated, things are gonna be different, my friends. There will be no trolling online."
* "[On the topic of Engagement Officers euthanizing trolls] Yeah. And they'll have guns and they will use force to kill anybody who steps out of line, and that's just the reality of it, I'm sorry. But that's just the way it is. If you're not on board with the project uh you're gonna get a bullet in your head. That's how it goes."
* "C-L-O-W-N-F-T-D-T. CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT. CLOWNFTDT."
* "[In response to Josiah expressing his hope that Drew, being the only poster left on Earth, will not corral him into a pen at CLOWNFTDT and threaten him with death] Well, are you - I mean, are you going to be - are you still gonna RT and like my posts? And... cause if you're not going to, you will be forced to."
* "There are a lot of ways to hurt you, my friend."
* "A friend is or they aren't. And a friend will always engage with your posts."
* "And you know what - you wanna know why I have the best content, Josiah? Because I'm authentic."
* "[On the topic of GaryVee] He's a porno man."
* "[On the topic of GaryVee recommending that they stop editing so much] Do you think I should stop editing so much? Should we be leaving more in? Should I be leaving in the like the entire two and a half hours?"
* "Maybe we could get everybody to have the same name, too. If everybody was named D-Roc, you could always just shout out to D-Roc, and say, 'Hey, D-Rock!'."
* "I need to become a millionaire. A hundred and sixty millionaire like this guy."
* "Retention!"
* "Please don't waste your money like I did. There's nothing here. I have never regretted buying book more than I do this garbage. Love Gary, hate this book."
* "What if you talk about pie? Uhhhh what if you type in 'six pie six pies divided'?"
* "We need to increase six billion."
* "[On the topic of how to figure out the amount of change if we're going six billion percent of six billion people] Well, think about - think about 110% and the difference there of 110 to six billion."
* "[On the topic of the difference between six billion percent and 110%] You know, it's a huge number, it doesn't matter, Josiah! It's big! That's the important thing! I'm not gonna - if I get five billion percent, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna freak out."
* "[In response to Josiah saying Drew doesn't care about six billion percent] As long as it's big. But it will be six billion because it will be enforced."
* "Well, the thing is, as a whole, Josiah, six billion is always gonna represent the whole planet, so even if six billion is no longer six billion, it's still six billion percent. Does that make sense?"
* "[In response to Josiah saying the engagement party video they watched is not the right kind of engagement party] I think it's right."
* "[In response to Josiah not knowing how to say the word 'kivalry' out loud] I know what you me- I know the word you mean. Cause I can picture it in my head. Uh thechive.com."
* "What if we got rid of every single website, got rid of Twitter, got rid of Facebook, got rid of Instagram, and we all just had theCHIVE, we had every - we had the entire archive."
	+ Note: Other than the only remaining website being theCHIVE, he is describing World Wide Web. It is unclear how these two ideas can coexist, but presumably it would somehow be worked into the World Wide Web can-and-strings
* "[In response to Josiah saying he still believes Drew is going to find a wife] I don't think so. I think I'm done."

## Trivia

* This is the third idea created by Drew that involves creating a website, after the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service website and the World Wide Comedy joke submission website.
* This is the second idea created by Drew that involves both a club and a website, after the cumedy clubs and joke submission website discussed in Episode 32: World Wide Comedy. However, it should be noted that CLOWNFTDT will seemingly remove the joke submission website from the internet, as the only remaining website will be theCHIVE. Presumably, this website will be accessed via can-and-strings as part of World Wide Web.