Crazy Ship Ideas

* "So, I just stole my parents' car...wanna ride shotgun?"
* "You just had an allergic reaction - I have loads of epipen, I know how you feel, I'm allergic to everything."
* "we were neighbors for a very long time but we never really talk to each other much but now ur kitchen's smoking wtf were u doing were u trying to kill urself how could you mess up scrambled eggs no im not teaching you"
* "you were humming my favourite song and i've never heard anyone sing it before can we get coffee"
* "you passed out in front of my flat and while ur cute, u should not be drinking that much."
* "so you bumped into a pole bc u were concentrated on what ur reading and i laughed so hard so i bumped into the same pole too so now we're both laughing so hard with bloody noses and could we maybe get some coffee sometime"
* "you just asked to sit at my table even though there's loads of vacant seats, but i've kind of been looking at you for about five minutes across the room i'm sorry"
* "im a famous celeb but the paparazzi are stalking me so could i maybe crash here for a while i promise i wont be any trouble but i can't guarantee not hitting on u tho bc ur cute"
* "i'm sorry to wake you up but you fell asleep at the office and you were talking in your sleep? you've worked at the computer station across from me for years but we've never spoken, are you okay?"
* "hey so im from the flowershop from down the street and youre a barista in this coffee shop and wow ur hot can i have ur nu-- i mean a cup of latte pls"
* "you're cute and we kinda both are scared of dying alone so we could maybe try it?"
* "hey so we're neighbors but we never really met yet but my roommate kicked me out bc reasons and i have no other place to go to and you're the only one awake so could i crash maybe just for the night"
* "everyone's looking at us like 'will they or won't they' bc we break up all the time"
* "so there's a storm raging outside and i could hear your whimpers from my room and our flats are right next to each other and i just wanna check if ur ok or something"
* "so i'm danish and you're swedish when i asked you how you arrived you said across the sea so i picked up a stick and hit you with it now you're hurt and i feel guilty"
* "so im a worker in this building and ur a pizza delivery guy and wow ur really pretty and then the elevator broke down but i have claustrophobia so u suggest truth or dare to distract me from my claustrophobia but it's ok ur face is distracting enough"
* "your next door neighbor's a creepy stalker and they've rigged your house but your fam won't believe you so you steal your brother's car to get away but you accidentally crash it into my porCH and got a concussion and i was gonna yell at you because how the hell am i going to pay the damages but holy sH!T you're cute and my best friend's giving me a look so you can stay for the night."
* "i rEALLY REALLY HATE COFFEE then one day at work you spill yours all over my phone and i got all in your face and started screaming at you and embarrassed you till you cried then i immediately felt bad bc i'm a teddy bear on the inside so now we're in this coffee shop so i can get you a new coffee and i jUST NOTICED YOU'RE HELLA GORGEOUS and found out your douche of a significant other ditched you the other month and how the hell are you still single (besides the being v. clumsy part)????"
* "everyone is always wondering wtf is wrong with me bc i don't fuck around with the whole 'crushes' thing so one day my sibling decides to prank me and coerces you into doing it but you fumble and mess up the prank bc this is really not your thing but oh wait you're actually intellectually okay we should hang out"
* "chemistry is legit your most horrible subject and after you nearly put the entire class out of commission our prof gets uber mad and assigns you a tutor aka me but oops i can't help flirting with you and when i say we have chemistry you start hitting me with the beaker and i start tickling you back and now we're both in this v awks position on the floor and *shit* your brother saw us"