Hel Hath No Fury

"**Hel Hath No Fury**" (1x19) is the nineteenth episode of Memory=Null, in which our crew must deal with matters of war and of family.

## Synopsis

Cain tells Thicc that there is a formerly abandoned military facility in Actaia’s northern hemisphere. It was originally used for creating, storing, and testing weapons of war, and the vox have moved into there and begun repurposing it. Thicc sends out a message to Dorian, Pippin and Abal summoning them to a war council at the Weeping Cock in two hours. He also asks Janus if they should reach out to the Crucible of Five, which Janus laughingly says no to. Cain informs Thicc that he is starting to feel hungry, and goes through the awkward process of trying to figure out how to eat a sandwich. Tina pulls up their scan of Actaia and locates the facility Cain specified, which appears to be legitimate. Thicc suggests to Tina and Hanna that they contact the Exchange agent they know to help expedite the process of getting permission to use planet-busting weapons, since they are extremely illegal. He then heads out to purchase some heelys.

Thicc finds and purchases a pair of garish red heelys with flames and wings in a back corner of the local Hindlebergs. He then realizes that this might be his last chance to achieve his life-long goal of murdering a children's party clown. He does some Spoogling and finds a clown named Spottoms with abysmal reviews. His real name is Vendrick, and looks like a spoiled rich kid who was finally cut off by his parents.Thicc messages Spottoms and offers him 10,000 credits to fill in in the next twenty minutes for a birthday party at Jeremy Beadle’s church since the previous clown pulled out.

Outside the church, Thicc waits in a back alley for him. About thirty-five minutes later, he spots a clown stumbling down the hallway hastily trying to put make-up on. He looks very malnourished, and appears to have woken up with a terrible hangover. Seeing this sorry sight, and with images of the vox consuming the entire galaxy because he got arrested for murder, Thicc changes plans and decides to simply scare Spottoms. However, before he can do anything, the clown runs past him and bursts into the church. Thicc sneaks up to the door to observe a discussion between a confused and concerned Jeremy Beadle and a very angry clown. Eventually, the clown breaks down crying as Beadle tries to comfort him, and the two begin having a heart to heart talk. Thicc not-so-stealthily whispers “You should stop being a clown”, and is spotted by Beadle, who goes pale as Thicc vanishes out of the doorway.

With that out of the way, Thicc makes his way over to the Weeping Cock. Waiting outside in a nearby alleyway, he tries to decide what song he wants to use for his grand entrance as he watches, interspersed with normal people, Pippin and his royal guard, Abal and four sirens in full tactical gear, Tina and Hanna, Dorian and a few guards, and the Exchange agent all make their way inside. Once they’ve all entered, Thicc rolls through the door, starts blaring “Rock Lobster” on his phone, and begins doing a lap on his heelys around the bar. However, about halfway around, he catches a chair leg and falls flat on his face. He lays there for a few seconds longer than necessary, begins to inch his way towards the bar, and pulls himself up. Once drinks are gotten, everyone assembles in the back room while the various guards wait outside.

Dorian and Hanna recap the situation with the jump gate, and Thicc introduces the desire to simply destroy the planet from orbit, and the illegal nature of that. The Exchange agent informs everyone that convincing the Exchange to authorize their use might be a hard sell, as several of the council have argued that the vox have not demonstrated maliciousness, but have so far just tried to exist, as life tends to do. He also points out that the Exchange is, in general, very slow at approving things. This includes orbital bombardment of an entire planet, as habitable planets are very rare - permission could take one or two weeks to gain. Thicc offers up himself as a fall guy if necessary, as he is responsible for getting everyone involved and is already a “walking peace treaty violation” (the Exchange agent makes a note of this for later).

Dorian suggests that they park the ship with the planet buster on the edge of the system and go in for a ground assault. If it fails, give them standing orders to nuke the planet if they don’t hear from them in a few hours. Thicc is worried about waiting a week, and asks if Janus’ specialties would help in speeding things along. Janus points out that the assasination of a council member would stop the council, thereby delaying things even further, and the agent mentions that he would prefer it if they didn’t go around killing his friends.

Thicc then asks Abal what her thoughts on a ground assault would be. She says that they would have the advantage due to the heavy training of their army in both hand to hand and ranged combat, as well as mech training which could be utilized to greater effect if Dorian were to provide them with some additional mechs. At this point, Pippin reports that they have been doing some experiments and found that, while the vox can infect people very quickly, it takes much longer for them to infect machines.

They eventually settle on going in with mechs supplied by Dorian, the Llalta Chambrans, and the Athar, combined with the combined strength of their fleets. If all else fails, they’ll simply nuke the planet from orbit. They also decide to bring Hammer and Silentium along, believing the advantage of having a vox there on their side to outweigh the potential risks. The agent says he will begin putting in the paperwork, and that at some point in the future, he and Thicc need to have a chat.

With the meeting concluded, Tina begins to push an overly enthusiastic Thicc out of the room. Back in the main area, a Llalta Chambran comes up to and greets a very shocked Pippin. Pippin introduces them as his brother Heroc, who had previously disappeared. They were in front of him in the line of succession, but were removed because they’re trans and were unable to perpetuate the royal line.

As Pippin and Heroc catch up, Janus comes over and talks to Thicc about how he’s managed to get some of the most powerful people in the galaxy together in a dive bar named The Weeping Cock. Thicc comments that they’ll definitely change the name in the history books, but Janus says that he’ll spray paint the name on every wall around if he has anything to do with it. They also discuss the future and plan a staff party for the Fangs of Tarot after everything is all over. Janus then gives him a hug, tells him “the killing gets easier”, and walks out of the bar.

Tina and Hanna walk up to the bar, where Tina orders a drink for Hanna. Thicc asks whether either of them likes board games. Hanna, in the middle of a thousand yard stare, says she likes board games, and Thicc suggests that they need some really long board games for the journey home. Hanna immediately perks up and suggests a game which is a combination of Risk and Monopoly, but like 4D chess, and that they could teach the splemurs how to play. Hanna’s excitement quickly vanishes, however, as her mother walks into the bar and starts making her way over. Thicc orders a glass of water as she walks up and says that, while she would expect to find Tina in a place like this, Hanna not so much. In response, Thicc throws the glass of water in her face and begins to aggressively stare at her. Sarah gives him a look, then asks for a napkin and a Manhattan. She asks Hanna if they can have some off-the-hours talks, and Hanna replies that she and her family can have a discussion with her. They all head to a nearby table as Hanna asks Pippin to join them as well.

After a moment of silence, Sarah tries several times to start a sentence until the awkwardness is broken by the sound of Pippin pushing a chair over to the table. A tense conversation ensues, in which Sarah explains that she realized that she would be a terrible mother and would probably have done more harm than good. She says she probably should have made contact sooner, but that she does not regret her actions, and that if Hanna would like, after current events are done, she will never contact her again.

After some sarcastic rebuttals by Thicc, and an explanation by Pippin of how it is a miracle that she is not a quivering pile of goo or inside a sun yet, Hanna tells her that she is only her mother biologically. In all other respects, she is nobody, and that she would simply like her to go exist somewhere away from her, whether or not that means her death. With that, Hanna stands up and walks out of the bar. Thicc asks Tina and Pippin to go after Hanna so he can have a conversation with Sarah. In an unusually serious moment, Thicc explains that her actions are putting everyone in jeopardy right now. He talks about how being family means standing beside someone, and that if she wants to make things right with Hanna, it will require time, effort, and several more drinks thrown in her face. Now is not the time, but if afterwards she wants to try, she will have to work at it little by little. In the silence afterwards, Sarah sizes him up, says “I don’t get what she sees in you”, stands up, and walks out.

Thicc downs his drink and heads out to rejoin everyone. He finds them all hugging Hanna in an alley and joins them. After some brief words, they all head back to the hangar to prepare the mechs. Abal later shows up to join Tina and Pippin in strategizing the attack. Thicc, feeling useless at the moment, heads up to the cockpit of Ortov’s Legacy and tries to call Cain, but is informed that a scan is currently being performed on him and he’s unable to talk. The hangar doorbell chimes again, and Thicc heads down to find Vark waiting outside. Tina supplies him with the information on the mech he’ll be piloting, and Thicc invites him to try the extremely alcoholic cake in the fridge. As Vark goes off to find the fridge, Tina and Thicc take a moment to discuss Sarah, as well as possible modifications to Ortov’s Legacy.

Later that night, as Thicc is lying in bed, he hears a familiar drip of water; and with a blink of his eyes, finds himself in that familiar infinite blackness. Turning around, he sees his father standing before him. He says that, with the help of the weavers, he was able to create a psychic echo of himself which would hopefully have some of the answers Thicc would seek. Thicc rambles a few times, telling him about the exciting things he’s done and the things he’s gotten to do, but finds the conversation oftens turns to the nature of being human. Thicc says that he’s tried to do more good than harm, though he has messed with a few people. His father replies that he knows he did his best, and that, for what it’s worth as an echo, he’s proud of him. With that, the vision fades, leaving Thicc lying in his bed the following morning, contemplating what has happened, what will happen, and why he’s craving pancakes.

With a bounce in his step, he somehow acquires pancakes and heads towards the bridge where preparations are in full swing. The jump gate is now floating in space with a massive line of ships waiting to pass through it, and Ninla is busy on comms organizing them all. Hanna walks over from her corner with two syringes and hands Thicc one - a tranquilizer. She tells him that if things should go wrong, to use it on her.

With everyone ready, Hanna steels herself, and then jams the other needle into her neck. Her eyes snap open, now pure black, as she reaches forward and clenches her fist. The jump gate opens into a pitch black void as Ninla, struggling against wave after wave of psychic energy, tells all the ships to go. Around him, everyone is on the floor clutching at whatever they can, as a pair of huge black wings sprout out of Hanna’s back. Ten minutes go by as Hanna continues to hold the gate open, with everyone except Tina and Thicc now unconscious on the floor and bleeding from every orifice. Finally, with everyone else through the gate, Tina sends Adus hurtling towards the gate, and then slumps forward as they pass through it. Hanna slowly turns towards Thicc and starts walking towards him as the psychic energy nearly brings him to his knees. Now face to face with him, she quietly whispers “Help”. Thicc jams the tranquilizer into her, and she immediately falls limp into his arms.

Tina slowly starts to rouse as Thicc looks up to see the entire fleet now in the sector.

## Stat Guesses

Because Thicc had a deep scan performed on himself, all stats are now known and are no longer able to be guessed.