Raef: My Little Star

**Content Warning: It's a burial so it might be a little sad.**

\_\_\_

In the dark of the tunnels, something gleamed: golden and
bright.  It floated out in the dark as if
caught on invisible strands; it was beautiful, and it was that beauty that made
his heart throb and his stomach clench painfully.

How many times had he run his fingers through those golden
strands?  How many times had he twisted
them back into a braid or pulled them into a tail? How many times had he combed
them, damp with bath water?    Now they were stained with mildew and grime that
had drifted down from the dank tunnel’s roof.

The world threatened to dance away then and it took the
sting of his nails in his palms to keep him standing and to bring him back.

“Oh…” Raef whispered, a sound that never made it past his
lips.  *Oh, Gwydion…*

Jasper stiffened, her face taut and eyes flashing with the
pain worming its way through him.   She
had known Gwydion…that was good….that was good.

“Please get him.”  He
looked up to Jasper. “…we can’t leave him.”

~\*~

*“Uncle Raef!”*

*“Hmm?”*

*Gwydion dropped down*
in front of the sofa, holding out a brush and a ribbon. “Pretty please, Uncle
Raef?”

*Raef chuckled softly*
and grabbed the brush. “Hold onto the ribbon until I ask for it.”  He sat up on the sofa and the young elfling
settled down onto the floor, resting against the sofa between his knees.  He slid the soft bristled brush through the
fine strands; they were always so beautiful, but the sunlight streaming through
the window glinted off of them this day to make them almost glow. “Do anything
today, *zvyozdochka*?”

*“Mmhmm.  I went for a walk.”*

~\*~

Jasper carried Gwydion through the tunnel, careful with
every step.  Raef didn’t think he had
ever seen her be so gentle.  He was glad
for her.  She could take care of Gwydion
when he couldn’t.  He glanced towards her
and the cloak shielded body.

*Oh…my little star…*

He looked away again.

~\*~

Their walk ended on Mishka's land.  Maybe he should've asked Mishka if he could
bury Gwydion there…but maybe he didn’t care.
What was he supposed to do?  Stomp
in and ask to bury his son?

Even that sounded like a fucking terrible idea to him.

So he and Jasper found a spot beneath a cherry tree that
would begin to flower as the days grew warmer.
It was away from the home, enough away that no one had to look at this
makeshift or ever know that there was someone buried on Mishka’s land.

No one would know unless they asked.

Raef pinched the brim of his nose, squeezing until sharp
pain radiated outwards. He waved away the look Jasper gave him and drove the
shovel into the ground.

~\*~

*“What’re you digging??”*

*“A hole.”*

*Gwydion rolled his*
eyes. “Why?”

*“Why do you think?”*

*The teen let out an*
aggravated sigh. “Uncle Raef!”

*Raef snorted and he*
delved the shovel deeper, loosening the dirt and grass before tossing it into a
growing pile. “I’m planting a tree.”  He
pointed with the shovel to a tree resting against the house, the root ball
enclosed in burlap.

*“Why?”*

*“Why not?” He drove the tip of the*
shovel into the ground.

~\*~

Jasper was warm against him, her arm draped over his
shoulder and his arms wrapped around her waist as he rested his head against
her shoulder.  She let him hold her and
she didn’t speak; there was nothing for him to say.  His words vanished with every shovelful of
dirt that landed on Gwydion, replaced by silent tears.  Those tears were now drying as he rested against
her, feeling her fingers work through his hair in soft, soothing strokes while
he looked at the disturbed earth in front of them.

Raef didn’t know what path had led Gwydion to this.  He didn’t know if he could have guided him
differently, talk to him differently.  He
didn’t know if he could’ve done anything.

It didn’t matter.

Not now.

All there was was a pile of dirt under the bare branches of
a cherry tree, the stars twinkling through them.

~\*~

*“Uncle Raef…”*

*“Yes?”*

*“Where’s Daddy?”*

*“Dad’s with Anatoly.”*
Raef tucked his arm under his head, staring up at the dark sky turning steadily
above them. “He’ll be back later.”

*“He’ll be fine, right?”*
Gwydion turned his head to look over, golden hair fluttering out across his
face as he smiled.

*“He always is.”*

*“Good.” The young elf*
looked back up at the twinkling stars and shining moon.  His hand found Raef’s and he twined their
fingers together. “This is nice.”

*“Very.” Raef smiled*
again and squeezed Gwydion’s hand before he pulled it up to place a kiss on the
back. For just a moment he was reminded of the child he had helped raise. “I
love you, my little star.”

*“I love you.”*