苦しい

Kaito smirked. "Ikeda, I dare you to…” he looked at the other players, his eyes eventually landing on a concerned-looking Hideyo. “turn on Kawamura. grind on him against the wall, or something. *He likes you, you know. it shouldn’t be that hard*."

 "W-Wait, what? hey, that’s not—"

 “Shut up. Ikeda, do it or you know what’ll happen,” the oldest of the three threatened.

 Kousuke sighed. He knew he didn’t have a choice. *I’m so sorry, Hide-chan…* He stood up and approached Hideyo. the latter’s emotion was hard to read. He picked him up by his shirt collar and pinned him against the nearest wall. He mouthed an apology as he slowly unbuttoned the other’s shirt.

 Hideyo felt a lump in his throat. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t plead to stop, couldn’t snap at the others. He swallowed.

 Kousuke had finished unbuttoning Hideyo’s shirt. He looked back at the others, hoping for them to say, ’you’re done’, or something. anything.

 All he got was a sneer, and far too many pairs of eager eyes. “Keep going. He has pants too. Whether there’s anything in them is another story,” Kaito laughed, and pulled out a knife. Within a split second, his face turned serious. “You’re not getting out of this, Kawamura.”

 Hideyo’s eyes went wide. *W-What the fuck..?* He heard Kousuke mutter that here was ’no chance in hell’ he’d go that far. Hideyo felt utterly helpless. His voice was fragile as he spoke. “S-Sukke, please.. I…”

 Kousuke looked back at the other. *Fuck, he looks like a mess*. His face was red, his pleading eyes full of tears ready to stream down his face at any moment, and he… *Wait, is that…?*

 Without another word, Kousuke grabbed Hideyo’s wrist and led him to the bathroom. He ignored the comments from the others. He didn’t care. They’d figure out he wasn’t straight anyway. He had more pressing issues. His grip was gentle as the two entered the bathroom, Kousuke locking the door behind them. Immediately, he wet a facecloth with cold water. “Hide-chan, I—“

 Kousuke turned around to see an unexpected sight. Hideyo, the most vulnerable he’d ever been. He was crying. He put everything he had into keeping his voice quiet, and he rubbed his face with his sleeve. “I’m sorry.. Y-You probably hate me, and I.. I j—“ he stopped when he felt arms wrap around him, pulled close to the taller boy’s chest. it was warm, and his heart was beating fast. “Hide-chan, please don’t say things like that. I could never hate you, I.. er, nevermind.” Kousuke finished the embrace, smiled softly, and began to rebutton Hideyo’s shirt. His cheeks were rosy.

 “Huh..? I.. I won’t, but…” Hideyo wanted to ask what the other stopped himself from saying, but instead he simply splashed his face with water. The two then left the bathroom.

 “Jeez, you two took a while. forgot to pull out, Kawamura? Pft, I bet you couldn’t even get i—“ Kaito was interrupted by Kousuke. “Hey. How about you shut the fuck up for once in your life? Spread shit about me all you want, but leave Hideyo alone. And with that, we’re going home. Goodbye.” with that, the two left the house and started to walk to the nearest taxi station. “Here, I’ll pay. Where do you wanna go?”

 “Sukke… can we please go to your house? i.. don’t wanna go home.” Hideyo’s voice was quiet. It wasn’t because of his dad that he didn’t want to go home; his dad was probably sleeping already, or cramming to finish his paperwork before its due date. In truth, he wanted to stay and hopefully sort things out with the other. Kaito’s words still rang in his mind, and he had a sickening feeling they stuck with Kousuke too.

 　　　 ♠

 “Here, some water.” Kousuke handed a glass of water to his friend. “hey, are you okay? I’ve never seen you this quiet..” he knew it was a stupid question, but he was concerned and, quite frankly, didn’t know what else to do.

 Hideyo sat beside Kousuke on the bed, staring into the glass of water. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.. I just…” After a moment of hesitation, he let out a sigh, and looked at the other. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I’m sorry you had to do that, and see me like that, and I’m sorry about what you saw on me, and I’m sorry that I… Ugh, I’m sorry that I’m in love with my best friend who doesn’t like me back and I ruined our friendship and—“

 “*Kawamura Hideyo*. You have to make a promise with me, okay? You have to promise to tell me next time you feel like that. Call me, text me, take the city bus to my house—Hell, send a carrier pigeon to me—but you gotta tell me because you don’t deserve to go through that alone, okay? And,” Kousuke put his hand to Hideyo’s cheek, looking him lovingly in the eyes. “Who said I don’t like you back?”

 Hideyo was rendered speechless, his heart racing.

 *Huh..?*

 *He…*

 *…*

 *What was that just now? Can’t be… But he’d never lie, not about something like that…*

 *Shit, he can probably feel my cheeks getting warmer..! How embarrassing… But it’s understandable to blush at a time like this, right?*

 Setting the water down on a nearby nightstand, he tried to form a coherent sentence. “S-Sukke, I—"

 Before he could find the words he wanted to say, he felt Kousuke’s arms wrap around him yet again, pulling him on top of the other’s chest.

 “Let’s lay here for a little bit. You seem tired. .. Uwaah, Hide-chan, your heart is beating really fast..!”

 “Th-That’s because I’m laying on top of you, dumbass!”

 “Ahaha~”