Fairlop

Fairlop is the local area that is north and adjacent the the stomping ground of Gant's Hill, Redbridge. For years the residential area was known to the Unicorn Warriors for many memories including the Fairlop Oak pub and Fairlop Waters. The local area was the scene of other unfolding events, too trivial in quantity to include a page of their own, however they have instead been compiled into this page:

Graveyard

The Graveyard, part of Holy Trinity Church, was frequent smoking area for experiencing a quick hit of Jib-Jab at all hours of the day, come day or night. It was also common knowledge that the graveyard was the same location where Sean had lost his job-jab virginity, persuaded by the tempting hand of Ibrahim. At the center of the graveyard was a rounded wall and enclosed space which served as the central seat of the jib-jab experience, there the warriors would sit in the pitch black of night, surrounded by the buried bones and headstones of the long gone, often Harry, Sean or Ibrahim would roll the joint and the other woulds keep look out. Weary of the churchyard caretaker, James would often panic the most at the first glimpse of an approaching torchlight, this would result in a negative multiplier effect on the rest of the warriors. However, little more would follow than each and every one of them getting stoned.

Aside from the frequency of jib-jab smoking, the site was the place where the warriors would empty their bladders. Now whilst most people would choose to pee in a bush, Raphael would take this opportunity to take a whizz against a headstone and in the moment before retracting his penis back into his trousers, he gave it a quick toss too. Since then, he is the only member to have 'wanked' in a graveyard.

During a lonely exchange one Firework's evening (Guy Fawkes night to you Americans) in 2016, Sean had arranged that himself and James should watch the fireworks display. Excited and presuming they would need tickets to the event, Sean smashed James' expectations (rather unsurprisingly) and declared that they should watch the display from the graveyard instead... because they didn't have to pay entry fee and they could drink a Stongbow Dark Fruit instead. Begrudgingly, James accepted and off he went to meet him in Fairlop. Despite the arrangement to meet at 7pm sharp, Sean had arrived at 6:30 prior to the agreed engagement time. During this time, James' phone had mysteriously lost internet connection, little to his knowledge Sean had been getting frustrated that James was not there at 6:30. In a rapid change of events, Sean had pulled a dick move and decided to abandon plans at 6:40 and arranged to meeting Harry (who you can read more about below) instead. James meanwhile had arrived at just before 7pm and to his horror had discovered the unfolding whilst he had been off-radar. Confused and extremely frustrated, James questioned Sean to find out that Sean simply assumed that James was not coming due to the lack of reply despite the agreed meet up time. Dazed and utterly flabbergasted, James proceeded to cross the road only to get back onto the same bus he had arrived in only a matter of minutes prior.

Harry's Flat

Harry was the long term close friend and first cousin of Sean Simmonds who lived in the backstreet off the main high road. Despite being almost a second home to Ibrahim and Sean too, it was the occasional retreat for Zain, Raphael and James who would join to settle down after smoking some jib-jab and offer a comfy alternative to the damp and cold setting of the graveyard. On one particular evening after smoking some dank Amnesia, the warriors plus Harry would occupy Harry's bedroom to watch a psychedelic or unusual VICE documentary on YouTube.

Not a single occupant of the room that evening understood what the context or moral of the film was about, however three things were clear... 1) It was about a Brazilian model 2) She had a huge (possibly fake) bum 3) I think on one scene she would pop balloons with her butt...strange. This was also the infamous night whereby James quoted that he could see "fairies with boots" dancing around Harry's room due to the mind altering effects of the Amnesia.

Off-Licence

The off-licence was a large casual shop on the local high street opposite Fairlop Leisure Centre. Before the warriors were of legal drinking age, this was the site whereby they were able to purchase their first taste of booze. Prior to this, the warriors had planned this task like the Iranian Embassy raid, every movement and exchange of words were planned to the bone.

The warriors would dart through the doors, one by one, eyes down, head forward. Pass the checkout on the left, forwards through the cereal selection towards the end of the isle and make a sharp left towards the chilled alcohol section. Target reached. Like a lucky dip of the national lottery, each warrior would quickly select a can or bottle of beverage or two. Kopperberg Cider and K-Cider were common selections. Target picked up. The mission was not over and they would have to pay for the goods. The instructions were clear. A minimal exchange of words at checkout. 'Please' and 'Thank You' to appear extra polite and mature. We had worked out our fake DOBs with mathematical accuracy in the worse case scenario we were challenged by the corner shop gestapo. Wait for price confirmation, hand over cash and head out of the doors!

It was every man for themselves. Usually the first at checkout would have greater chance of success.