TRP: Amren, Roddy, and Vaala (Polymorph)

Word Count: 3506

**Muse:**

[Setting: Day 178/Jan 12. Castle dungeon.]

They had Amren. Locked away in a cell- probably out cold-
might be torturing him soon- maybe killing him again-

There was just a lot going on. Most everybody had taken a
break, hassling Goro for healing, resting up after nearly dying. It was a good
time for it.

Roddy was taking advantage of that to sneak down to the
dungeons. He had to- talk to Amren. About- what he still wasn't sure. Just- try
to figure out what was up with his brother. Again.

They'd tied him up good. Trussed up like a turkey. A small,
blue, dragon-shaped turkey. Roddy hesitated for a moment. Did he really need to
talk? Amren probably- wouldn't talk. Not like Roddy wanted. But... Roddy had to
try.

The door opened with a creak, Roddy winced at the noise.
Never mind that now. He crouched down, shaking Amren's shoulder. "Hey.
Hey. You- awake over there?"

**Izzy:**

Amren jerked as much as he was able to, and his eyes opened,
wide, before settling on Roddy. He stared at him and didn't say anything.

**Muse:**

Oh right. Gag. Huh. "If I take that out will you-
behave?" Roddy asked.

**Izzy:**

He kept staring for a moment, then shakily nodded.

**Muse:**

"Okay good." Amren- could always be lying. ...But
he was tied up. And Roddy had- had killed him. Yeah. This would be fine. Roddy
carefully pulled the gag off and waited to see- if he got a faceful of
electricity or something.

**Izzy:**

Amren took a couple deep, wheezing breaths that devolved to
panting.

He kept staring, wide-eyed, at Roddy.

**Muse:**

Was he- was he scared? Roddy edged backwards a little.
"Hey uh. Yeah. So, it's me," he said, giving a weak little smile and
wave. "You uh. You okay?"

**Izzy:**

"You ... fucking killed me," Amren squeaked
hoarsely. "I'm not okay."

**Muse:**

"Um, well, I got Goro to bring you back?" Roddy
said.

**Izzy:**

"Great," he wheezed.

**Muse:**

Roddy started to take a step forwards, but changed his mind
and stepped back until his shell was against the wall. "Look, um, if it
helps- that was kinda an accident. I didn't- I was just trying to knock you
out."

**Izzy:**

"That doesn't --." He hesitated, and coughed.
"Okay, I mean, maybe that kind of helps."

**Muse:**

"...And it's not like you weren't trying to get me
killed either," Roddy muttered.

**Izzy:**

"I wasn't trying to get you killed."

**Muse:**

"Yeah well- I did get pretty bad off there for a
bit!" Roddy snapped back. Though. Had any of that been- spells? He
couldn't remember. Felt like it had been a bunch of arrows. Which stung but.

**Izzy:**

"The archers weren't gonna kill you!" Amren
hissed. "They just had to make it look real, 'cause -- you're supposed to
be on our side." He paused. "Guess that's a fucking bust, though,
huh."

**Muse:**

"Oh uh." Yeah. Roddy- was supposed to be on their
side. "Well- uh. Surprise? I'm not?" he tried, shrugging.

**Izzy:**

"Big fucking surprise," he muttered.

**Muse:**

Yeah. Big... surprise indeed. Roddy fell quiet for a second,
shifting his weight back and forth. "Hey- Amren?" he finally asked.
"How much-" he broke off, staring at the ground. Did Roddy really
want to ask this?

**Izzy:**

Amren eyeballed him. His breathing had evened out, and he'd
settled down a bit, but was still wide-eyed. "What?"

**Muse:**

"In- in the warehouse," he said haltingly.
"How much- how much of that- of what you said.... How much was real?"

**Izzy:**

"Wh --." His eyes finally narrowed. "All --
all of it was real. I wanted to see if you'd ... how you'd ... I dunno."

**Muse:**

Roddy wanted to believe that. He slid down to the ground,
hugging his knees to his chest. "I wasn't lying," he said quietly.
"Cept- I knew all along I couldn't kill you. Just stalling a bit
but-" Roddy shrugged.

**Izzy:**

"I just figured that -- you would," Amren said.
"I just wanted to be sure."

**Muse:**

"Yeah well- I got my friend to bring you back from the
dead," Roddy said, a weak attempt at a joke. "Guess that- answers
that huh."

**Izzy:**

"You know they're gonna fucking kill me, though,
right?"

**Muse:**

Roddy flinched looking away. "Maybe not," he said
tightly.

**Izzy:**

Amren gave a brief, hysterical laugh. "Why wouldn't
they? They only brought me back 'cause you wanted them to, right? What're they
gonna do -- keep me down here forever? Feed me? They gonna give me back to
Morgan? They're gonna fucking kill me, Roddy."

**Muse:**

"Well- maybe you could give them a reason not to
then!" Roddy pushed up and stared to pace back and forth. "You know-
give- give them all the information you have and- and I dunno. Maybe after we
take down Wyn, then." It wouldn't work. Roddy knew that. Amren was
dangerous and untrustworthy- as much as Roddy wished otherwise. They had a lot
of good reasons to kill him- and none for keeping him alive.

**Izzy:**

"You're not gonna take Morgan down," Amren said
incredulously. "I gotta -- I gotta stay on the winning side, but -- I'm
gonna die before she wins -- but if I betray her she'll find out and then
she'll kill me, and that's only if your friends don't do it first." He
choked on the last word.

**Muse:**

Roddy groaned, grabbing at his hat. He didn't know what to
do. "Can you give us a reason to let you stick around?" he asked.
"Amren- please. You're my brother I don't. I don't want to see you
dead."

**Izzy:**

"What then?" he squeaked. "Then Morgan comes
for you, and for me, too, and kills us both." He gasped in a breath.
"Roddy -- Roddy -- what if -- if you get me out of here -- can you get me
out of here? -- and then we'll both be safe, 'cause then Morgan'll know we're
both loyal. Right? Can we do that? Can you do that?"

**Muse:**

"I'm not loyal!" Roddy cried, whirling around.
"Amren- you don't get it. Maybe- maybe Wyn would kill me but- I would die
for these people! They're- they're my team, my family! They have my back!
Unlike some people," he said bitterly.

**Izzy:**

"Die? Why would you die for anyone?" he demanded.
"Then you're just dead."

**Muse:**

"Because!" Roddy yelled back. "Because Dad-
Hansel- he hugs me and calls me 'motek' and is proud of me even- even when I
don't see why. Because- Sugar lets me play with her hair and listens to me
complain and just- believes whatever I say." Roddy's eyes were getting
wet. He rubbed at them angrily and kept going.

"Because Goro- we're both hard to get along with and we
know it- but we both try and that's good enough. Because Mishka freaks out and
runs away but he always comes back. Because Larkin's- willing to set aside her
feuds and work with me to take down Wyn. Because Raef keeps- going out there
with us, laying his life on the line too. Because Joan pulled me out of jail
and took me in and saw- saw what I was capable of before I even did."

"Because these people care about me and I don't know
why sometimes- but the least I can do is return the favor!"

He'd been yelling, at the end. He was breathing hard now.
Felt a little- numb.

**Izzy:**

Amren stared at him, opening and closing his mouth a couple times.
Finally, he said, "Okay." His voice cracked. "Okay, I mean ... I
mean, Roddy, Morgan's gonna kill all of those people. She -- she's gonna
torture them to death. It's gonna be -- it's gonna be terrible, Roddy, I know
'cause I've been there, I've helped her do it, okay, 'cause that's what she
does when people get on her bad side, and -- you're gonna be on her bad side
and you can't beat her. Roddy," he whispered, "you gotta be on her
side. You gotta get -- get everyone you care about on her side. Otherwise
you're all just gonna fucking die and I don't want you to die."

**Muse:**

Roddy felt a hysterical laugh bubbling in his chest. Oh why
not. He braced himself against the wall and let it out. "Y'know what
then?" he said, grinning madly. "I say come and try!"

**Izzy:**

Amren squeezed his eyes closed. "Aw, fuck. There's not
any talking sense into you, is there? You're just gonna get everyone killed.
God."

**Muse:**

"Hey! It's not like this was my idea!" Well. The
going undercover was. But other than that. "You know what your just- your
just a scaredy-cat. Sure Wyn's scary but she's just a person. We're gonna kill
a god."

**Izzy:**

Amren laughed, high-pitched and nervous. "Roddy."
He lowered his voice. "Roddy. Hey. Hey. Listen. Hey. C'mere." He
jerked his head for Roddy to come closer.

**Muse:**

"What? No. You're just gonna. Bite me or
something."

**Izzy:**

"Nah, nah. I mean, okay, fair guess," he admitted.
"But nah. Okay, stay over there. Hey. Tell everyone. Tell your
friends." He cackled again. "Morgan's not even -- she's not even the
boss. She answers to someone else, and -- and -- and she's called the Sanguine
Queen, and -- I don't even know what she is. But she's not a person, Roddy, and
she's real fuckin' scary, I think she's the only thing that Morgan's scared
of." Another hysterical giggle. "Maybe she's a god, too. Maybe you
gotta kill two fucking gods, Roddy, you think -- you think you can do that? You
think you guys can -- can really kill a god when you'd've died in that
warehouse if I hadn't been there? Huh? You really think you can do that?"

**Muse:**

Roddy felt like he'd had a bucket of cold water dumped on
him. The hysterics were gone. He was just- numb now. "We killed a
hivemind," he said distantly. They'd handled everything that had been
thrown at them so far. But now... something new.

What had they gotten themselves into.

**Izzy:**

Amren snorted.

**Muse:**

"Nobody asked you," Roddy grumbled.

**Izzy:**

"They're gonna," Amren said. "Bet. Bet
they're not so different from Morgan and they're gonna torture me, and I'm not
gonna fucking tell them anything, Roddy," he said viciously, "so you
should just go ahead and tell them to kill me. Kill me again. It'll be better
than betraying the Guild."

**Muse:**

Roddy flinched. They would. Roddy knew that. "Won't
have to torture you if you just talk," he said.

**Izzy:**

He sniffled. "No. Then -- then Morgan'll just kill me.
I'll just -- I'll just -- I'll wait it out. Maybe she'll come for me. Maybe
she'll have my back." He glared at Roddy.

**Muse:**

"Oh what- like you've given me any reason to have
yours?" Roddy sniped back. "You framed me for murder! And don't say
it was the Guild's idea- I know that was all you."

**Izzy:**

"Okay, well --." He sputtered. "You don't
know that, and plus -- look, we were gonna get you out! We were gonna break you
outta jail and then you could've worked for the Guild -- really worked for
it."

**Muse:**

"So- wait- hang on let me get this strait. You thought
that framing me for murder, getting me arrested, and then breaking me out of
jail was a better option than just- asking me to work with you? Are you
stupid?"

**Izzy:**

"Didn't you say Joan Ripley got you out of jail?"
Amren demanded.

**Muse:**

"Well- okay yeah but- she didn't get me thrown in jail
in the first place!"

**Izzy:**

"Are you sure?"

**Muse:**

"Yes! She wasn't even working for the church then! And
besides she's actually nice. Unlike some people."

**Izzy:**

Amren scoffed.

**Muse:**

Roddy found a pebble on the floor and bounced it off Amren's
head. "You're just jealous because my team loves me," he said
haughtily.

**Izzy:**

He twitched, and scoffed again. "Whatever. At least
--." He bit off what he'd been about to say.

**Muse:**

Oh that was interesting. "At least what?" Roddy
prodded.

**Izzy:**

"At least our parents loved me," he muttered.

**Muse:**

That cut deep. Roddy hugged himself, looking off to the
side. "Yeah well, good for you," he said bitterly.

**Izzy:**

"You asked," Amren whined. "I wasn't gonna
say it."

**Muse:**

Roddy couldn't even argue with that. "S'fine," he
muttered. "I have a new dad. He's awesome. And he-" Roddy cut off. He
was about to say something about his dad still hanging around but... that
wasn't even true any more.

**Izzy:**

Amren sniffled quietly.

**Muse:**

Roddy sighed. Why did this- have to be so complicated.
"I wish we got along," he said suddenly. "I hated you growing up
but. I think... I think I really hated them. You were just... safer."

**Izzy:**

"What I said -- you know, in the warehouse?" he
said, his voice low and a little shaky. "About how I was scared they'd
start treating me like they did you? I meant that, I really did. I knew they
should be nicer to you, but I always thought -- if I tried to stick up for you,
then they'd ... turn on me. So it was safer if I just -- just stayed on their
side." He paused. "I'm sorry."

**Muse:**

Roddy looked up, studying him closely. He- seemed to mean
it. ...He was also a good liar. But Roddy really wanted to believe him.
"Yeah well. They're not here now," he said gloomily. "Instead
you got Wyn and her boss to be scared of."

**Izzy:**

"Morgan's not scary," he insisted, a bit weakly.
"Not ... not if you're on her side. Not if you stay there."

**Muse:**

"Like our parents?"

**Izzy:**

Quietly, Amren said, "Yeah. I guess."

**Muse:**

Roddy gave a soft sigh. "Guess that's that then,"
he said. He went over and fiddled with the gag, getting it shoved back in. He
hesitated. Wished there was something he could say. But- he had a feeling that
was all that could be said. So he shuffled back out, locking the cell and
turning around- and nearly jumped out of his shell when he saw Vaala.

"Vaala! You scared me."

**Izzy:**

Vaala didn't flinch, staring down at him impassively with
her arms crossed. "Sorry."

**Muse:**

"S'okay I'm kinda jumpy right now anyway." Roddy
rocked back and forth on his heels. Vaala had said she didn't want to kill
Amren but... he was nervous about leaving them alone. "So uh. So whatcha
doing down here?"

**Izzy:**

"Waiting to talk to him." Her eyes slid over to
Amren, then back to Roddy. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I feel I know
everything I need to, now."

**Muse:**

"Yeah uh. I didn't know you were listening," Roddy
said. Which. Was kinda what she said with the eavesdropping thing. "What,
uh, what about?"

**Izzy:**

"His intentions." She glanced over her shoulder.
"We should talk. Elsewhere."

**Muse:**

"Oh uh. Okay." Roddy stole one last glance over
his shoulder before following Vaala. "So- what are you wanting to talk to
me about?" he asked.

**Izzy:**

Vaala led him into the small room in the tower basement,
where a ladder led up to the ground floor and another trapdoor led to the
hidden cave behind the waterfall. No one else would be able to hear them, here.
She closed the door behind them carefully and crossed her arms again.

"Amren controlled me," she said without preamble.
"He compelled me magically, and he altered my memories, and he forced me
to kill and harm innocent people. He used me as a puppet bodyguard for
months." She paused for a second to let that sink in. "I don't
believe he deserves to die, but he needs to be prevented from degrading the
goodness in the world any further. Do we agree on that?"

**Muse:**

"Uh," there was a lot to unpack there. Stick to
business Roddy. "I- I guess? But I don't- see how? Without the um,"
he jerked his finger across his neck, the classic 'slit his throat' gesture.
"You're not- gonna try to talk me into that are you?"

**Izzy:**

She shook her head. "My deity doesn't believe in wanton
murder, and neither do I. I would like to believe that Amren could be ...
rehabilitated. Redeemed, somehow." She glanced towards the door. "But
not all can be saved. And for those who can't, Bahamut offers another option. I
can take Amren to my temple in the north, and Bahamut can change him." She
shifted her weight. "Are you familiar with the spell polymorph?"

**Muse:**

Roddy felt himself standing straighter. "Uh yeah. I-
have that one. But- mine only lasts an hour," he said slowly, cautiously.

**Izzy:**

"There are those of my order -- not paladin or clerics,
but other followers of Bahamut -- who are able to cast true polymorph -- a
permanent transmutation. This is how we deal with those we cannot save. Amren
-- we can render him harmless. Make him something small and kind," she said
gently. "A mouse. A parakeet. My temple would house him comfortably for
the rest of his days in this form."

**Muse:**

Roddy just- stared for a second. What might that be like, he
wondered. Going from your own shape, the body you were born in, the one that
let you walk and talk and be seen as a person to- a mouse. A pest that some-
animal could hunt down and eat. Roddy suspected if it was him- he'd rather just
be put out of his misery.

"I don't-" Roddy hugged himself. "Why- why
are you saying this to me?" he whispered. Was she- was she asking Roddy to
chose? The idea made him sick.

**Izzy:**

"You value his life," she said simply. "As do
I. I don't believe anyone else here does."

**Muse:**

"Y'know you're probably right too," Roddy said.
Why did- why did this have to be so complicated. Roddy wanted his dad.
"Don't- don't you think that's a little cruel? Trapping people like- like
that? I don't- I don't think I'd want that."

**Izzy:**

"I think it's less cruel than death," she said
quietly. She shifted, as if she were trying to put herself slightly more on
Roddy's level, but didn't have much luck. "When I was young, I helped to
care for the penitents. They're treated well. I promise you that. But -- I
bring this to you because I feel that you know best what Amren would desire. If
you think he would prefer death." She shook her head. "I can deliver
him a swift and painless one."

**Muse:**

"Don't do that!" Roddy yelled, shoving her. It
didn't work so he took a few steps back. "Don't- don't make me chose! I
don't- neither then!" he yelled defiantly. "How about that! We just-
figure out some way to keep him alive!"

**Izzy:**

Vaala frowned slightly. "He'll be alive at the temple.
Roddy --." She gave up on the awkward shifting and just knelt down on one
knee, making herself shorter than Roddy. "I don't have any wish for his
death," she said, still very gently. "I understand -- from the way
your companions behaved in the warehouse -- that they disagree. I merely wanted
to present you with another option. He can't be allowed to run rampant on the
world and effect more people."

**Muse:**

Roddy shook his head, clamping his hands over his ears. He
didn't want to hear this. He'd just got Amren back and. And this. And this. "I
can't chose," he said. "I can't- Vaala- I killed him." He looked
at her, feeling tears welling in his eyes. "I killed him and- and then I
got him back but. I'm going to lose him again. To you or to them- either way.
I'm going to lose my brother. I'm going to lose him, Vaala."

**Izzy:**

She grimaced a bit and stood again, and put a hand on his
shoulder. "If that's how you feel, then I will protect him as well as I
can. It's against my oaths to harm the innocent -- I have no interest in doing
something that would distress you." She patted his shoulder, and turned to
walk back into the dungeon. "But I won't be able to protect him from your
friends."

**Muse:**

Roddy didn't say anything until the door clicked shut behind
her. "That's what I'm afraid of," he said to the empty room. Sank
down to the ground and hugged his knees to his chest. Could feel the tears
welling up again. Buried his knees in his chest and sobbed. There wasn't much
to mourn for what was- but maybe for what might-have-been.

**Izzy:**

[END]

Title: Polymorph. Summary: Roddy goes to talk to a bound and
gagged Amren, but doesn't get much of a resolution. Vaala offers an alternative
to killing Amren, but it doesn't sit well for Roddy, either.