12PMs Twitch Show's

Currently on Monday's, Tuesday's, Wednesday's and Friday's over on Twitch Channel Robbotron the 12PM's Show is a mixture of chatting about all sorts of topics centred around the SDNS (Sex, Death, Nerd Shit) themes (although current events, the news, and all sorts of other topics do make an appearance when appropriate), Comedy, wordplay and puns, Improv and Games. It can vary from high octane energy to relatively chill depending on the day, although energetic and excitable is far more common.

The Chat are referred to affectionately as the Fuckloaves, the Loaflets, the Loaves, but not Darren's - that is strictly for The Dark Room. (Other terms used include "you beautiful people", when chat do something nice, and "right my loves" or "right my darlings" usually when saying its time to end the show.)

If you want to watch the previous episodes of the 12PMs Twitch shows during 2021 you can find them January - June 2021 12PMs Shows, July - September 2021 12PMs Shows and October - December 2021 12PMs Shows.

## Chatting! Comedy! Improv! Games?

*John is a talented insult comic and improv artist so it's no great surprise that these feature heavily in the 12PM's line up, but Game's? On Twitch? It will never catch on!*

Actually though in this case we are not talking about video games for the most part, but rather games that Chat play with John and vice versa. (Actual video games do feature - usually on Crap Video Games Night on a Wednesday at 7PM and sometimes during other evening shows) Games that are played between John and chat are often initiated either through improv or even by delightful accident the first time, but everyone has so much fun that they continue to recur and some go on to become regular features. A lot of the games are teasing, playful, or banter, although several are more structured.

## Guest Appearances

#### TRISTABYTES - 15/10/2021

A 12PMs special show Guest Starring fellow Streamer Tristabytes as the first in person, in the studio, guest star on Twitch Channel Robbotron. Despite technical issues the show was wonderfully chaotic and full of the most wonderful Sass between Trista and John. Sista Trista spent time with Pope Gossip III, who informed us all that Earth was reclassified as Hell because Hell was full (and that was the reason for how bad things are here right now) and Sista Trista said Global Warming caused Earth to become the new Hell. New characters The Dolphin of Honesty and The Dolphin of Deception (aka The Flesh Dolphin) appeared, and at the end of the show Trista spent some time with Super Genki Neko Kevin Chan while he apologised for sitting on the router and causing the internet issues. (Apparently the router was full of glitter) Kevin said "if I fit's, I sits". The Dolphin of Deception claims it can live on land, and said "I am the Flesh Dolphin - I'm made of skin, Huuuummmmmmaaaaaannnnnn Skin!" Heinrick Von Voiceover spent some time with Trista as well, talking with her about his career as Germany's leading thespian in his starring role as Pingu, and about his ongoing role hiding the fact that Australian Comic John Robertson has actually been dead for five years, Trista responded that this made a lot of sense, as Heinrich wasn't funny, being an actor. While Trista went to get a drink of "not tea" there was a visit from Mr. Crotchless Dungarees proving once and for all that he is not John wearing a flat cap. Trista also joined in The Scroll Game and experienced The Sun and Moustache redeems, including informing us that this was "The most sun, as a Goth, that she had ever had in her life". All in all the stream was wonderfully chaotic, there was satirical humour around current events and Trista Sassed John relentlessly on topics ranging from his hair to his jokes.

#### **JENCLONE - 22/10/2021 (Please note the following information is based on Improv and is *CLEARLY SATIRE*)**

A 12PMs special show guest starring fellow streamer JenClone *(who had to alert John to her arrival via text to be let inside)*. Although it swiftly turned out that in fact we had a very different guest - Ghostbusters Star Bill Murray. John and Chat interviewed BillClone for awhile discussing various movies *(real and imagined)*, including Lost in Translation, Lethal Weapon and Happy Golf Times. Touching on other areas of BillClone Murray's career, BillClone mentioned that a lot of fans wanted to kiss his feet and his roles in the films Footy Footy Foot Times and Fast Times at Footmont High as well his move into German Cinema in the movie Das Foot. They talked about BillClone's role in Charlies Toes alongside female leads Susan Sarandon and John's Mother as well as Steve Coogan who only got a role thanks to his skilful Michael Caine impression. Chat put their questions to BillClone including asking about whether there would be a sequel to Garfield, and where they stand on the lasagne issue - BillClone is pro Lasagne. BillClone revealed they are metaphobic and so any deconstruction or callback to an earlier joke makes them vomit. And then we found out it was JenClone all along and some of those films don't really exist. *We had been bamboozled!*

But then in an *unexpected plot twist* JenClone went off camera and Bill Murray appeared, and said *"It's Murray Time!"* his well known catchphrase. BillClone also informed us that he uses his own semen to stay looking useful. A chat member then asked *"Mr Murray given that all Of your Lines In Caddy Shack Were Improvised, will you bottle your semen for commerical use?"* but the answer was it's far too valuable. Moving on to discuss the classic movie Ghostbusters John asked what BillClone's favourite scene was? BillClone's favourite scene was the bit where they busted all the ghosts. While discussing the animated series of GhostBusters John was overcome with star power and forgot the name of BillClone's character - unfazed BillClone kindly reminded John it was Professor Simon SmackAGhost. And they discussed the fact that BillClone sued the actor who did the voiceover work for sounding too much like him. Chat asked *"Was Slimer really the ghost of John Belluschi?"* BillClone not only confirmed this fan theory as accurate but they also revealed that it was in fact not Dan Akroyd who wrote Ghostbusters, but rather it was BillClone Murray's own work. And revealed an intention to sue the Slime Ball, Loser, Mum Toucher, Fake Canadian, Bishops Elbow and that he is actually Nine Dogs in a man suit, Dan Akroyd. Chat asked *"Did you ever get it on with Audrey 2?"* But BillClone really couldn't remember as there had been so many Audrey's. BillClone revealed they had met the Queen but misunderstood what was happening and fucked the tea rather than The Queen, also revealing that he really liked an old royal lady and had really fancied the Queen. We then found out that BillClone's semen was corrosive to anyone except him (and could corrode ceramic). We then found out *SHOCKING NEWS* that BillClone helped write Aliens. Primarily by encouraging the use of the word Bitch. JenClone off Camera was supposedly looking quite annoyed at this point and then John had to tell Kevin-Chan to leave JenClone alone and go downstairs. Chat asked *"would you like to punch chezzy chase again?"* and we were told *"absolutely, every week"*. BillClone also revealed he had spaffed into a teacup for Cher, which is why she looks so young.

JenClone then returned, to a massive Pepsi Max Burp from John. JenClone said *"That is the kind of welcome I expected".* And in the background Kevin Chan was pestering BillClone. Chat asked *"What was it like passing by Bill Murray in the corridor?"* JenClone informed us *"he asked if I was royal and then he said I looked too young"* apparently JenClone has only once before been asked if she is royal, when someone asked her if she was a Princess, and she said *"Yes I am, and so is my boyfriend"*. Chat inquired *"Does JenClone believe we are living in a Simulation?", "What has JenClone done with proper Jen?"* and we were informed about some current news. Then in *YET ANOTHER PLOT TWIST* we found out that we had been ***hecking bamboozled*** - it was BillClone Murray all along! We got Murrayed folks. Golf club owner BillClone. John informed us that in the background JenClone was looking very perturbed and in fact was crying. We also found out that 50% of the stay pufft marshmallow man was actually cocaine.

JenClone appeared on screen and we were told she is an excellent *screamer*...erm streamer. *(Well it is nearly Halloween)*. JenClone had to explain how to Google Bill Murray *(as John was being his delightfully ridiculous self and pretending not to know what googling was)* and Queen Mod Vultmog praised JenClones resilience stating *"When John does this to me in real life, I want to smack him - well done for being so resillient, Jen"*.

JenClone and John gave us a delightful demonstration of *SUPER HEALTHY* interaction between men and women. John revealed Men don't have emotion's they have Anger and Sleep - *"And even Sleep you can't have too much...**You Fucking Pussy!"*** screamed John. JenClone just stood there without flinching, but afterwards she revealed *"I can't look too terrified, as then you might come at me with some violence, so I just have to like, bottle it all up, look like I'm okay with the situation, then I'll run away and cry."* John then said he was going to go *"work on a car so I don't kill my entire fucking family, excuse me"* in deadpan voice, before he and JenClone broke character. And JenClone giggled and said *"So Dark"* but it turned out it was just cloud cover and would brighten up again in a minute.

John and JenClone then went on to play Break Deep Voice John and JenClone made John break before it even began. Then JenClone broke in the first 29 seconds as a result of John being silly. However, Chat then decided the challenge was to break both John and JenClone rather than either individually.

JenClone does not appreciate the Feed Us Mummy Bird Redeem. John and BillClone starred in some Star Trek Episodes while the Chat caused chaos with sound effects. *Naughty Chat ;-).* This did result in some more Feed Us Mummy Bird midway through the episode. **And so endeth the special Guest Star JenClone 12PMs show.**

#### Tom Crosbie (Performing Nerd) 02/11/2021

Tom (Aka PerformingNerd King of the Rubiks Cube) came to spend some time with us all live in John's studio. And the very first topic of conversation, quite naturally for Robbotron's Channel was what is the smallest animal they would feel comfortable fucking. Then Pope Gossip III popped in to say hello, and to confirm that sex with Labradors is allowed. Tom confirmed he had brought one Rubiks Cube with him, which he left on the shelf of wonders for now. Tom Crosbie is now being introduced to raiders as noted Labrador Fucker. *(We are sorry Tom, this is just how this channel rolls...well you know that...also we aren't sorry, at all!)*

Tom revealed that he knew nothing about sex and John was asked to explain sex to him. Which somehow turned into well this followed by well this. Then it was time for some Star Trek TNG episodes, with John and Tom as everyone. (Episode: A bunch of Labradors take over the enterprise only to become sex things.) But before that could happen we ended up in Australia with Twitch Guy. Then came a lovely discussion of Improv groups and the realities of good vs bad improv complete with demonstrations. Someone in chat suggest that the worst thing ever would be a combination improv magician. (A call back to John's feelings on magicians). Then came a game of bad improv, followed by a game of sing about it where Tom found out his mother was dead, and was very sad.

We also found out that Tom calls John the perfect pervert, and John said it is because he brings his own hedge with him, and then it becomes a discussion of land rights rather than a sex crime.

Then it was time for Tom Crosbie to become The Dolphin of Truth. He concurred with Trista that the Dolphin of truth smells awful. Hamster's have to die. He would slightly fuck John. He finds great white Labradors sexy as hell. Fucking hamsters makes them explode. And the ends of the earth is Great Yarmouth. Slightly fucking is just the tip. Tom never knew his mother and so doesn't know her maiden name. He wouldn't fuck a Furby, they are cursed, an ancient curse going back decades that would make your dick fall off. He thinks he could take a St Bernard in a fight.

The conversation moved on to why he had been discussing which animal he could take in a fight the day before, turns out it was to impress a female barbarian.

We also had a Feed Us Mummy Bird Redeem that was in fact Feed Us Daddy Cuber! And Tom absolutely rocked the mummy bird bit.

John asserted that he could take a Rottweiler and chat said he couldn't. John demonstrated on Tom that in fact he would use tone and emotion to make the dog feel bad and win that way. How to deal with a Rottweiler - according to Mr John Robertson

Tom provided an advert for a Rubiks Cube. The best selling toy for Nerds everywhere. It won't cure loneliness. Followed by Star trek TNG (A very special Guest Episode) the second star trek episode of the day.

We discovered that Tom drinks water from the dishwasher and is a Labrador Pimp who hires droves of Labrador's herded by a massive sheep. John played Tom's new Theme Song and Theme Song Chorus and Rubiks Cube Solve. We then had a series of Rubiks cube solves including throwing it between hands.

Then this happened, such confusion. We know longer knew who was who as Tom did such a great job of being Tom Twitch Guy and John almost solved a Rubiks cube (almost).

And then we had not Shovel of Ducks but Shovel of Tom, literally Tom laid his face on the shovel and wept. (Yes this is the content we get) And apparently Tom's safeword is "Can we Stop Now". Also at one point the rubiks cube looked like a gag, sparking a brief discussion of ball gags.

Tom Crosbie couldn't beat the scroll game even with two tries. And that was the end of the show.

#### Onno Lolkema 19/11/2021 A brief 12PMs appearance (Dutch Painter, Sculptor and Comedian)

Onno joined John VERY briefly during the one and only "Ooooh The Bedroom Special" available Here and also provided a ten minute segment of stand up on the Live from Rule Zero The Dark Room Show later the same day. He is the artist who did the art for both the 48 hour Dark Room Charity Stream in 2020 and the 50 hour Dark Room Charity stream 2021 (More information available here and here) and was described by John as "very cool" and "a beautiful boy".

###### VOD LINK FOR THE DARK ROOM LIVE 19/11/2021

The Dark Room: Live from Rule Zero London! 19/11/2021 Featuring Onno

#### Onno Lolkema Guest on Saturday Christmas 20/11/2021

Onno was also a special guest on 20/11/2021 on the Saturday Christmas 12PM's show streamed from John's original studio in John's living room, more information for that can be found below.

###### VOD LINK FOR SATURDAY XMAS WITH GUEST ONNO 20/11/2021

Saturday Unboxing and Onno

Onno wasn't impressed with John's Social Scientist skills first thing in the morning, Onno dissed John's channel rewards (notably the astronaut and you live on the bridge now), John got his own back when Onno said he wakes up in the morning and John said you've been here three days you really don't. Onno revealed he takes cold showers because he has been told its good for the body, John said he would never try it despite being told by Doctor Noodles that it is indeed good for you. Onno was surprised that John could read chat from where they were stood, then John went to get some of Onno's work to show us, while questioning if Onno could see his own work when he paints. Onno stated that neither of the art pieces John owned were representative of Onno's work. Onno came up with a lovely phrase "it's just a feast of recognition" which then became a playful game involving quotes from films. There was a conversation where Onno educated John on sex - this is becoming a guest slot feature.

Then they moved onto a conversation about drugs and how Caffeine is a drug, (after John made the point he is opposed to drugs) and Onno pointed out that John drinks six litres of Pepsi Max a day. John pointed out that he and Onno were modelling their respective national stereotypes beautifully, the chilled out relaxed Dutch Man and the hyper active Australian man. Onno drinks Coca Cola Zero so John and Onno are drinks rivals. Chat wished to know how Onno could be more tanned than John, but no answer was provided - although John had earlier stated he simply avoids going outside as much as possible.

Onno vouched for John being actually able to cook (when John is not being Divorced Aussie Dad anyways), Chat asked if John had washed the grill so that Onno wasn't poisoned - which was confirmed, in fact John revealed he even descaled the kettle which is how they found out the sink was broken. And then Onno revealed that there was something in John's fridge that smelt like death.

There was a conversation about the use of all caps and "..." to be aggressive and passive aggressive. Chat revealed that Jane Austen used to write in all caps. Onno explained that the Skull painting he made for John is not representative of his overall style, but he is very glad that John likes it. John revealed that Onno provided him with the Dutch Liquor Jenever, and Onno explained that the Brits made Gin based on Jenever later on.

And then Onno and John looked at the art Onno made for the 48 hour Charity Marathon Dark Room in 2020. And they discussed the things that were in the art. After this Onno went to the kitchen to make himself something to eat - after John made him work before he could have breakfast, on holiday. Chat announced they missed him already. Onno did come back not too long later with a bagel. John pointed out that this made Onno the absolute opposite of the stereotype of the starving artist. Then we found out that Onno manifests a bagel whenever he is excited, a bit like a dog wagging his tail. And chat decided that Onno is the pokemon everyone wants. John got a t-shirt from MuppetIntheCorner that said "People come and Go...Fuckloaves are forever!" on it, which delighted both John and Onno, and resulted in a bond reference from Onno when he sang "Fuckloaves are Forever" to the Diamonds are Forever theme tune. John revealed that once upon a time he thought that genius meant that you didn't have to work at things or learn how to do them. And Onno went to manifest a second bagel as a result of this conversation.

Onno was not impressed by Dune either - according to Onno its just moody people in a sandbox for two and half hours. Onno was unimpressed with the lack of artistic creativity to the prophetic dreams etc. Onno was very disappointed by the worm as well, he couldn't get his head around the size of the worm or what it ate. John was annoyed by how long it took the worm to eat a spice refinery that is rhythmic when you are supposed to have to walk without rhythm. John also pointed out that he reckons the Fremen were just teasing the colonisers who didn't know any better, because every time you saw the Fremen they were just running around or standing on rocks.

We found out that Onno speaks Dutch, English, some German and some Spanish and a tiny bit of French. (And got demonstrations of all of them.) And then John and Onno sang the German drinking song Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder together. *(And John got a little excited, just you know...a little. {Onno came really close to the screen and whispered "Help Me"} Until Onno gave in and joined in.)* Onno asking for help And John got sent a Trip Hazard sign for the ethernet cable of doom.

Onno and John started doing references to movies, John was still quite excited about the phrase "feast of recognition" and Onno was really enjoying everyone's twitch user names. Chat requested that we could adopt Onno so this could be a regular thing, because "we like him!" and "Onno is one of us now".

Onno got some Kraken Rum and Cola out and John got the Uke for port music times, while we waited for John to return with the Uke Onno got his Nasal Swab rapid flow test kit out. John commentated on the entire process of the Nasal Swab and shouted at Onno to use the upstairs sink to wash his hands since the downstairs sink was broken. John came out with the best phrase "I care about your wellbeing, as much as I remember it!". Onno did not have Covid-19, and *yes of course bets were taken - it is after all a channel tradition*. (We really just bet on everything.)

###### Dutch Swearing

Chat asked if Onno could be the stream pet, and if he could teach us some *Dutch Swear Words*! Swearing using diseases is a very common kind of cursing according to Onno, he said it is more frowned upon now but saying "Kanker" (literally cancer) is not unusual in response to say stubbing a toe. Goddammit is used a lot which is *godverdomme (pronounced hot-fo-dommer).* Turns out Dutch folks use the English words Shit and Fuck a lot. Apparently they also use the word "Cancer" as a descriptive curse word "something you would put in front of a word, like cancer-dog (*kanker-hond*) or something."1 The worst is *Kankerlijer* (lit. Cancer Suferrer but used perjoratively to imply someone is an asshole). Onno explained a common curse in Amsterdam is "*Krijg de klere*!" which literally translates to "get cholera!" but can be used as a statement of astonishment and that cursing using diseases was pretty common in Dutch. John was delighted that it's properly cursing people. John explained that he is always fascinated by what cultures and time periods find offensive. John then asked if Onno has other languages he can curse fluently in. Onno said he lived in Belgium for 4 years but there seemed to be now swearing there, very softly spoken and really only say a *"domme"* that is a short version of "damn". And the word "*dommekop*" is the equivalent of the German word "*dummkopf*" meaning "stupid head or dummy head". German and Dutch are very close languages and the Dutch find it fairly easy to understand German for the most part.

*1(Kanker is literally used to intensify other curse words according to wikipedia)*

John had some opinions on Australian and British Culture, Language and Politics and how odd it is that our nation's seem to have just decided to completely ignore where we are geographically and are so very different from everything around us. John referenced the English Language despite being on this small Island just across a short channel of water but we are so different. John said it's the same in Australia, Australia thinks its Brimerica (British America) despite clearly being geographically part of South East Asia. And that Australian governmental leaders quote things like "Freedom of Speech" literally quoting the American Constitution when Australia doesn't even have a constitution. Onno agreed that it's ridiculous when countries are being led by people who don't actually know the first thing about the legalities of their own country. Australian Chat members backed up this view of Australia stating "We're in Eurovision for Pete's Sake!" John commented that Australia's government just mimics whatever America and Britain are doing even having similar personality politicians who mimic the populist politicians of the UK and USA. Onno said it's the same in the Netherlands that his government just want to be popular now.

"In Holland we have this guy, doing the same thing, the whole playbook. Just saying outrageous shit, and getting attention and that's all you need right now...and the people who get there have no soul, no boundaries...it's so transparent that he will just say anything to get ahead, he just want's to be seen, he is now railing against "the elites" but he would love to be an intellectual but he is too stupid for it and now he want's to find another way to get there". - Onno Lolkema on politics in Holland.

John and Onno then discussed compulsory voting, as in Australia it is compulsory. John pointed out that when really bright people don't bother to vote it causes problems because people get into power who care enough to vote and they are often the more outrageous types. And the show had to end because John had places to be and people to see. However there was still time for Onno to do some Dad Magic with the Covid Test, resulting in John saying "I fucking hate magicians get out of my house" (granted with that tormenting grin he does that we all love to hate) and John to momentarily turn into a confused ape. And for them to have a lovely hug. John say's we should all look Onno up as he is a fantastic artist, great comedian and wonderful friend.

Onno has a Youtube

## 2022 Epic Moments

*There will be some wonderful moments in the 12PMs shows during 2022, some of them will end up here.*

## 2021 12PMs Collection

2021 12PMs (January - June)

2021 12PMs (July - September)

2021 12PMs (October - December)

## 2022 12PMs Collection

2022 12PMs Shows (January - March)

Special One Off Shows

Halloween 2022 - Pumpkin Carving Special 12 Whole PMs Show (for the clips and screenshots)

V.O.D link for the Halloween 2022 Pumpkin Carving 12 PM's Show

## Dark Room Mini Games

Super competitive minesweeper

Super competitive connect four

The dark toe (tictactoe)

Rock Paper Scissors

## Channel Point Redeems - Current as of 26/01/2022

Please note: Magnificent Dinosaur AKA Prolapsasaurus Rex now has its own page as well.