Stone 15

**Chapter 15**

Richard and Kahlan head north, and apologize to each other for getting grumpy. Eventually, they reach a depression and decide to wait for the Bantak to come to them. They take turns napping as the night passes. Eventually, morning comes. The Bantak appear (of *course* they were coming from the north. Did you really expect Richard Sue to be mistaken?), and Richard and Kahlan reveal themselves.

The Bantak level menace Kahlan and Richard with their spears, and Kahlan bullies them into lowering their spears. The Bantak leader appears. He proves to be an old man, the Bantak's spirit guide.

The Bantak brought their elderly spirit guide on a raid? Um...okay.

The spirit guide's name is Ma Ban Grid and hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry; his name is what?

Ma Ban Grid? Mother Forbid Network? That's the man's name?

\~/

Anyway, Mommy Deny Framework and Kahlan chat for a bit, the upshot being that the Bantak's *“spirit brethren”* warned them that the Mud People have *“invited war...[and] proven it by killing one of mine.”* Furthermore, *“the Mother Confessor no longer holds command over the people of the Midlands. They say that as proof, she has been stripped of the company of a wizard.”*

Kahlan is speechless (some politician she is), but Richard decides to threaten the Bantak via Kahlan's translation. He calls Mama Don't Allow No Parallel Lines an *“old fool,”* and says that *“Your false spirits told you the Mud People killed one of yours. The false spirits lied to you, and you, in your foolishness, believed them.”*

How can something be a “false spirit?” Was it a guy in a white sheet, perhaps?

Richard insults and belittles the Bantak some more, and then we get a shining example of the Seeker's vaunted honor and honesty: *“The Mud People didn't kill the one that was yours. I did.”*

OBJECTION! Richard just stated that the Mud People **did not** kill ol' Slopey. But! **Richard is a member of the Mud People.** He was adopted into the tribe a whole book ago, and has given every indication that he believes himself to be a Mud Person (well, short of adopting any of their customs or anything).

Either Richard, who considers riddles a form of intellectual dishonesty and who prizes truth above all else, has just blatantly lied, or Richard is a gigantic White Devil hypocrite who deluded the poor, simple Mud People and pretended to befriend them in order to get what he wanted, but doesn't consider himself one of them. Either way, this makes Richard look pretty dishonest. \~/

The Bantak threaten to kill Richard. Richard challenges Mommy Dearest to shoot him, and when he does, Richard snatches his arrow out of the air. Richard then declares that he is the Seeker and the Mother Confessor's wizard, and if the Bantak don't turn back he will slay them all with magic and visit horrors on their land.

Incidentally, I actually have no problem with the threats and insults Richard is directing at the Bantak, given that he is (allegedly) trying to prevent a war and save lives.

Mommy wants to know why he should believe Richard is a wizard, so Richard turns the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo white (which also makes it glow, apparently). This is enough for the Bantak, and when Kahlan gives them one last chance, Mommy falls all over himself apologizing and thanking Richard for keeping him from starting a war. Richard wants to know how the “false spirits” persuaded the Bantak to do something so unlike them, and it turns out they basically stirred up the need for violence in Mommy and Slopey. Their part done, the Bantak turn and trudge out of the book.

I envy them.

We then get an interesting idea from Richard: *“The Keeper is getting ahead of us. He has taken the effort to discredit you. To discredit the Mother Confessor. He is laying traps for us. He has plans. I don't have the slightest idea what they are.”*

So, Satan is somehow watching over Kahlan (and Richard, one presumes) personally, and can therefore give the Bantak the specific information that she doesn't have her wizard any more. I'm not sure how he's supposedly doing this, given the whole “trapped in the underworld” thing, but Richard said it so it must be true! Even though there's no evidence whatsoever! It certainly couldn't be some random malevolent or mischievous spirits trying to stir up trouble between the Bantak and the Mud People. Remember this, because I sure will.

Also, I'm getting really tired of Terry Goodkind's redundant sentences. His redundant sentences.

Anyway, Richard talks about how Zedd was wrong when he told them the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo couldn't harm anyone the wielder thinks is innocent (which rule has been repeatedly stomped on, but whatever). He angsts for a bit about how awful it is to turn the sword white and know what he's capable of. It's pretty dull.

Kahlan, the current possessor of the mystical *Voice of Reason* (a major artifact), points out that they've had spirit-related problems twice now, and maybe the whole “summon the Mud People's ancestral spirits” idea is a bad one. Richard basically says, yes it may be, but I'm doing it anyway. On that note, they head back to Mudtropolis.

They get back to the village and Kahlan is all, Richard was right and Chandelier was wrong. The Mud People inform Our Heroes that the Nuns are back in the Hostel. After some more chatter, Richard and Kahlan storm in to confront the Nuns.

Richard starts demanding answers of the Nuns, and tells them that neither of them is going to kill herself. Nun #3 equals his arrogance and and tells him the discussion is over. She asks him to accept the Radical'Han, telling him that its second purpose is *“to control you.”* Which is exactly the thing to tell someone you're trying to persuade to accept a collar around their neck. \~/ Even if that *is* the Radicchio'Han's purpose, you'd be an idiot to think knowing that will convince someone to wear the stupid thing.

Astoundingly, Richard again refuses to collar himself, trying to get the Nuns to talk about it. Nun #3 goes to kill herself, but Richard snatches the weird silver knife out of her hands. Nun #1 then stabs her in the back, killing her with that odd flash of light from the eyes. Wonderful people, these Nuns.

Richard goes for Nun #1's throat, but is blocked by a force field. He somehow breaks through it \~/ and grabs her around the neck, demanding to know why she murdered Nun #3. She refuses to talk, and instead magicks up some fire to threaten him with. Kahlan conjures up threads of her nifty blue lightning, which *“sucked the fire into them.”* Because lighting eats fire, or so I was taught in 5th grade science.

Aw hell, it's magic.

Richard puts Nun #1 down, and she wants to know who taught him to break a web. He answers that he taught himself, which is a blatant lie; he did it through instinct and Sue powers. She mocks him, saying that *“If you had ever turned that sword of your white, you would understand”* what it took for her to kill Nun #3 (this despite that fact that no Seeker has ever turned the sword white). Which still doesn't answer the question.

Nun #1 leaves. Richard tells Kahlan that apparently the Nuns were using magic to try to persuade him to say yes, but he kept thinking about the collar and the compulsion faded. Kahlan has figured out that the Nuns are sorceresses (did the gouts of flame tip her off, I wonder?), and has somehow intuited that the Nuns kill each other in order to pass on their power to the next Nun.

Okay, sure: Nun #1 killed Nun #3 and took her power. But Nun #2 killed herself, which means her power went to...who, exactly?

Bleah.

Drinks: 4

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