Ben Burns/Quotes

This page lists various things Ben has said

"*Apologies for interrupting your screaming match guys, but you're welcome to get back into it.*"
―*The Billiard Boys*

"*You can always help the good team later on but you can’t unscrew the evil team once their inevitable death spiral begins.*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*I find it difficult to trust an Englishman who says he doesn’t like being drunk.*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*What about those nominations gang?*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*A solid 3 reminder tokens there – that’s when you know you are respected.*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*We’re going to hear from Brooke and then you can all throw your rotten tomatoes in whatever direction you like.*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*I’ve been wrong several times this game.*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*Before you do your evil genius, 'here’s my plan Mr Bond' bit…*"
―*Human Remains Of The Day*

"*I think this is going to be a quick game.*"
―*Mistakes Were Made*

"*You're like the old, grizzled cop who only works alone.*" [to Carley]
―*Panic Has A New Face*

"*I'm a harsh daddy!*" [to Adam calling him a harsh man]
―*Panic Has A New Face*

"*My god, you are paranoid. I love it.*" [to Isaac]
―*Panic Has A New Face*

"*None of you can possibly be learning something while you all talk simultaneously.*"
―*Panic Has A New Face*

"*Sully needs to say 'I am the Clockmaker' 18 more times, then you can do it.*"
―*Panic Has A New Face*

"*If you had been a veteran, I'd have executed the crap out of you...*"
―*Panic Has A New Face*

"*Are we not British? We know how to queue!*"
―*Twin Magic*

"*As much as I love hearing Jon say 'it's not me!' 75 times in the space of 10 minutes, let's have Laurie's response.*"
―*A Bad Moon Rises*

"*I don't think I've ever seen the good team throw away a victory that would have been so good...*"
―*A Bad Moon Rises*

"*Oh Adam, have you been drinking all the WKD at the school disco? What's gone on?*"
―*A Bad Moon Rises*

"*Father Benjamin, please...*"
―*Everybody Loves Puppets*

"*Genuinely sat there in a room on your own, talking to a sock.*" [to Brooke]
―*Everybody Loves Puppets*

"*The sock's definitely better at Clocktower than actual Sully.*"
―*Everybody Loves Puppets*

"*I didn't get to choose whether I'm Daddy Ben, you don't get to choose whether or not you're Brother PeePee.*" [to Jon]
―*I, Carley. I, Zombie*

"*I don't want the primary source of new players learning these terrible Adam-based habits.*"
―*I, Carley. I, Zombie*

"*I realise you crazy kids are all into your apps and stuff, but I'm a bit more old-school than that.*"
―*I, Carley. I, Zombie*

"*Can everyone please stop fucking swearing?*"
―*Catfishing*

"*Laurie, you've got to be somewhat pleased that there's zero chance of you solving the game before anyone else and being ignored.*"
―*Catfishing*

"*That's probably the most impassioned defence I've ever seen ... but is it a lie?!*" [on Jon]
―*Catfishing*

"*While I want you to suffer, I want you to feel obliged to say that you enjoyed it.*" [to Jon]
―*Catfishing*

"*Do you know what, Laurie? I really thought you'd got them then for a moment - hands were going up and down all over the place... going into that final day, you were massively the outsider and the fact that you made people falter and* almost *convinced them. That's a real testament - I'm not just saying that.*"
―*Catfishing*

"*If you need that explaining to you, I suggest you go back and watch the first 3 episodes.*"
―*No Roles Barred*

"*You know if you don't want to nominate Sullivan, don't say the specific phrase 'I nominate Sullivan'.*"
―*No Roles Barred*

"*The only thing I've got is these fucking rules, I'm going to enforce the shit out of them!*"
―*We Are Legion*

"*I just wanted to check in - make sure you're all right, you got everything you need, Jon. Can I get you any water? bread sticks?*"
―*A Real Boy*

"*No executions today. All cowards go to sleep.*"
―*Poppygrown*

"*We're running out of folks that do stuff.*"
―*Poppygrown*

"*That was not worth interrupting me for.*" [to Sullivan]
―*Live and Imp-Person*

"*Tom, if you'd like to join me on the chairs of badassery.*"
―*Live and Imp-Person*

"*Right, now you may screech at each other.*"
―*Live and Imp-Person*

"*You lot will clap at anything, won't you?*"
―*Live and Imp-Person*

"*Don't do your narrator voice at me, Thomas.*"
―*Live and Imp-Person*

"*You're all seasoned veterans, I expect this to be like the Champions League Final of Trouble Brewing - no pressure or anything.*"
―*Mayor Mayor On The Wall*

"*What the hell is this good team doing? Most of these guys are veterans, what are they doing?*"
―*Mayor Mayor On The Wall*

"*It* is *random, you fucking piss-kidney.*" [to Jon]
―*Mayor Mayor On The Wall*

"*I'm delighted that you're excited, don't get me wrong, but shut the fuck up!*"
―*Fang Gu For Being A Friend*

"*When will you people learn that Holly is an actor?*"
―*Fang Gu For Being A Friend*

"*Hollo, Helly.*"
―*The Unbearable Madness Of Being*

"*Jon's trying as hard as he can to throw this game, isn't he?*"
―*The Unbearable Madness Of Being*

"*I really must congratulate the evil team on taking that for 5 days.*"
―*The Unbearable Madness Of Being*

"*The 'Wrath of the Choirboy' - it's the name of my new death metal band.*"
―*Sully Is A Total Cult*

"*Welcome to the Bottom Cottage ... the Bottom Cottage is what I call my shed.*"
―*Sully Is A Total Cult*

"*That was the best Heretic game I've ever seen.*"
―*A God Damned Mess*

"*You're not going to be laughing in a moment though, cos one of you's about to be executed.*"
―*Playing With Your Food*

"*Don't panic - this is the most important decision you will ever make in your lives.*"
―*Playing With Your Food*

"*You weren't done though, was you? cos you kept talking.*"
―*Playing With Your Food*

"*Is there anything anyone would like to add to this argument before I have my beautiful assistant do a twirl?*"
―*Playing With Your Food*

"*You two can scream each other from the seats.*"
―*Ding Dom Merrily On High*

"*If you're watching this in 2090 as part of your history class, that joke was quite topical.*"
―*Ding Dom Merrily On High*

"*Dom... he won the game as the good Snake Charmer. It was entirely his skill and deduction that got him there.*"
―*Ding Dom Merrily On High*

"*What we can all agree on is that under Adam's leadership the evil team tanked.*"
―*Ding Dom Merrily On High*

"*Isaac... the worst pit-hag in the history of Blood on the Clocktower.*"
―*Ding Dom Merrily On High*

"*All right you lot, you've had your banter. Nomination time.*"
―*ARE YOU EVIL?! (episode)*

"*Either you're lying or I screwed up.*" [to Jon, as the voice of God]
―*ARE YOU EVIL?! (episode)*

"*You boring pricks! No executions today.*"
―*Paralegal Activity*

"*Now you can yell at each other.*"
―*Paralegal Activity*

"*Jon's so shocked that saying 'we should kill me' has elicited a response where people might kill him.*"
―*Pure Self-Indulgence*

"*I actually think you can see a better example of the kind of disruption that this character causes by not putting it in and watch everybody get super-duper paranoid because one evil player says they're the Atheist.*"
―*God Is A Legion*

"*I've had the pleasure of watching many of you defend yourselves here and I think I've kind of nailed out of all of you what the best strategy for defence is ... so my defence is...*"
―*God Is A Legion*

"*OoOh I'm a middle class cheesemonger.*" [mocking Dom]
―*God Is A Legion*

"*Next season we'll get some 'Laurie Was Right' shirts made, shall we?*"
―*God Is A Legion*

"*I don't really feel the need to defend myself against a man who dresses up as a wolf and prances around at conventions for a living.*" [when nominated by Jon]
―*God Is A Legion*

"*I have to hand it to you man, that was some A-grade bullshitting then ... If you win this, Adam, that makes you the best demon ever - top of the leader board if you win this.*"
―*A Royal Blunder*

"*As far as I'm concerned, barring another monumental screwup, I think evil are going to win this!*"
―*A Royal Blunder*

"*Kickstarter backers are getting their money's worth out of this one - I reckon this might be the best one we've ever run.*"
―*A Royal Blunder*