Craft punk cartel

### roots

the craft punk cartel started as a low level counterfiet goods production company in the romanian state of Brasov. founded by Marius Barbaneagra, a high school teacher and local politician, the gang had the goal of "getting rich and lots of bitches" marius.

### trouble with authorities and exodus from romania

in 1987 marius was arrested on suspicion of multiple crimes. the romanian water police charged marius primarily with 'not committing enough crimes' and 'failure to rob people', both crimes which where considered a violation of romanian ideals. marius was labelled an anti romanian and exported to Australia being disguised as a car engine, due to his short statue and the fact that he looked like a car engine. the romanian goverment's decision was critisised by the European Union who stated that this violated international law however romania denies the trial ever occured. due to marius leaving romania the cartel moved with him

### criminal activities in australia

the cartel soon based itself out of albany creek area due to the proximity to a local sewage plant which reminded the romanians of home. they began small shoplifting several 7 elevens and various adult stores to continue to pay for the cartels large porn subscription. in 2001 the cartel was inspired to pursue higher criminal activities after marius watched the movie zoolander. marius thought the movie was "pretty cool and dereck zoolander was a romanian hero". this spree of crimes included stealing council workers hats, murder, drug production, extortion and parking in disabled parking spots.

### cartel competition

*Craft Punk Cartel vs John Lennon 2 Gang (Bulgarians) (ongoing)*

*Craft Punk Cartel vs WA water police (ongoing)*

*Craft Punk vs Emerald hungry Jacks (1978 - 2016)*

### the brisbane city council incident

on the 17th of july 2005 the craft punk cartel and the offshoot biker gang committed a terrorist act agianst the brisbane city council. members of the cartel entered the premises of the council meeting hall and forced their way into the kitchen area. apon discovery that the head chef was bulgarian, cooking staff were forced to eat large amounts of slimy lettuce that the cartel had found behind the storage racks. the cartel members then proceeded to replace all the vegetarian options with real meat among other things. the only allergy food that was not substituted was the lactose free milk becuase according to Marius Barbaneagra "lactose intolerance is a serious thing and should not be taken lightly". the cartel members than made an escape and called up the local 9 news to publish their demands. the cartel demanded that australia post should be quicker and they had other demands but they had to think about them first. in the end the demands were not met and soon after the cartel leadership were arrested by WA water police. when qestioned about the attack Marius said they did it not for the money but becuase "council is gay they legit do like nothing and they all drive dumb cars". in total no one was injured in the attack becuase no one cares about council and news couldnt be bothered to check if they were alright. 7 news presenter jack ma said "they probably died but an ad played before i could say that (on the news) and tbh no one really cares". in the aftermath of the incident the WA water police charged the cartel with 3 crimes including littering (3 dollar fine), torrenting marvel movies online (15 years or 20 years if they just came out) and breaking into a building without asking nicely (4 years of community service). all of the charges were later dropped becuase no one showed up to the criminbal trail even the judge.