Save the Reaper Demons

**Save the Reaper Demons** is the third episode of Season 1 of Farzar. It is the third episode, overall.

## Synopsis

Renzo and the squad gets trapped in Fichael's Reaper Demon Sanctuary. Bazarack tries to earn back his drivers license so he can show off his sweet ride.

## Plot

Renzo is outraged when he sees a PSA campaigning for the preservation of reaper demons, bloodthirsty, ravenous alien monsters that feast on the bodies of people and whatever other creatures they manage kill. Renzo calls up the number to give them a piece of his mind. Fichael answers the phone, just as he's walking into the room. Renzo tells Fichael to keep it down so that he can talk on the phone and Fichael says the same back to him. It takes them a while to figure out that they're talking to each other. Flammy is also shown talking on a banana as though it were a phone, saying she's having a conversation with President Banana, who Renzo accuses of having an affair with Flammy. When Renzo comes to the realization that Fichael is protecting such a horrible species, he explains to Fichael how nasty these creatures truly are, by telling him about the government-censored, Reaper Demon War, which he fought many year back and lost. However, Renzo fabricates the details and paints himself as an invincible hero. Nevertheless, Renzo demands that he shut down the charity entirely. Flammy opposes Renzo, saying that Fichael has every right to keep his charity running, especially since he funded it with his own hard-earned money, which happens to be tons of golden coins in allowance money that Flammy showers him with on a weekly basis. Fichael used this money to build a Reaper Demon Sanctuary, which Flammy tells Renzo to go down to with Fichael to spend some father-son time together. Obligated, Renzo goes down to see this sanctuary with Fichael. As soon as they leave, President Banana leaps out and gets ready for a sexy night of adulterous lovemaking with Flammy.

Out in The Netherlands, at the run-down old beer-pub The Big Sipper Bar, Bazarack mopes about at the bottom of a beer bottle and sulks about the humiliating and utter failure that was his invasion parade on Dome City. Clitaris lends a helping hand and says how on the bright side, Bazarack's annual Show of Force is coming up tomorrow and he'll get to show everyone his scorpion tank once again, which actually kind of helps cheer Bazarack up. On top of that, Clitaurus assures Bazarack that everybody has most likely forgotten the debacle. Just then, Trondo spots Bazarack across the bar and busts his way through the crowd just to piss Bazarack off by reminding him of how he got wedged up a space dragon's shit spout the other day. Bazarack threatens to kick Clitaurus' ass if Trondo keeps pissing him off and attempts to break his beer bottle at him but the glass is too tough. After he notices that Trondo has left, he gives up and heads out.

Bazarack drives his scorpion tank through The Netherlands, drunk as a cunt, and singing "All Night Long" from the Rock and Roll Squid. Clitaurus strongly offers to drive the tank for Bazarack but is rejected along with getting a boot full of Bazarack's barf. Just then, Bazarack crashes his tank straight into Plorpus's Pancake Pod and smashes a massive hole in the wall. When the workers in there get pissed off at him, Bazarack rhetorically asks if they're gunna call the cops on him, which they do, leading to Bazarack spending the night in the clink. Bazarack antagonizes his cellmates, getting himself shivved silly.

Fichael and Renzo drive on down to the Reaper Demon Sanctuary and take all of the S.H.A.T. Squad with them. Fichael plans on showing Renzo just how great the reaper demons really are but Renzo is dead set on having S.H.A.T. kill them. Val feels bad about the effect this will have on Fichael but Mal on the other hand, is just as, if not, more hell-bent on shedding some reaper demon blood. Barry can concur with this, believing that the reaper demons are hideous abominations against nature. Billy laughs in agreement and calls them a species of freaks just before he shits out an egg, which hatches into a little affront to god, Billy Junior. When pressed about her opposition to this attack, Val says that she's not gunna do much about it because this is her day off, so she just gets drunk and vegges out, while her Siamese twin takes her vacationing body around with her on the job, both of them acting as if the other twin isn't there. Also coming along for the trip is sanctuary mascot, Reapy the Reaper Demon, a stupid guy in a big fat silly-looking reaper demon costume, that scared Renzo shitless, proving just how much of a cowardly dweeb he really is, when in the face of adversity.

Fichael takes everybody inside the sanctuary and tells them the nonsensically overpriced entry fees and also charges Val and Mal as two people, claiming to go by the head and not the vagina. Billy is relieved, since as a behemoth with a plethora of pudenda himself, he has enough pussies to rack up the prices to something unspeakably beyond his measly budget and also shows off one of his vaginas, which is growing off of his elephant foot. Billy notes that this is the reason, why he likes tap dancing so much.

Bazarack goes on down to the DMV to get his license reinstated and the lady behind the counter tells him that he needs to pass his drivers test. First and foremost, Bazarack has his camera crew come in and do a photoshoot for him for his upcoming license.

When walking through the Reaper Demon sanctuary, The SHAT Squad looks for reaper demons and Renzo found that he got himself tricked into wasting his money on a bunch of random bullshit such as the gold member VIP pass, a reaper demon hat, and a Reaper Demon Dildo, which Billy asks to stomp on. Fichael brings them to the reaper demon enclosure, where a hole has been blown in the wall, which killed a bunch of employees there. Fichael promises to give the reaper demon a stern talking to. Renzo doesn't believe that'll work and tries to break out of the emergency exit, which is locked, since the only way to get out is through the gift shop. Fichael offers to give Renzo a free map to the gift shop for the price of upgrading to a platinum member. Scootie mocks everybody in sight for being mortals, knowing that he's backed up the cloud so even if he dies, he'll still be alive in a different entity. Mal gets sick of the shit and drops some weapons, which Billy struggles to pick up on account of his unorthodox body. Billy calls out Barry for doing such a bad job creating him. Renzo brings out his ultimate weapon, a short little redheaded Irishman named Squiggles, who has an extreme napoleon complex and beats the tar out of everybody, whenever he's pissed off.

Bazarack goes in to get his drivers license and tries to bribe the driving instructor with food that he stole from Plorpus's Pancake Pod, so that he can get his license without actually earning it. The driving instructor refuses the bribe and Bazarack instead gives him a handjob instead, which greatly disturbs him. Nonetheless, the intructor just tells Bazarack to use his left turn signal. Bazarack presses a random button, which activates a fire laser that destroys some guy's ice cream stand and kills him. In a fuddle, Bazarack fiddles with all the buttons, dials, knobs, levers, and switches, causing the scroption tank to go into disco mode and then time travel back to the prehistoric era. When he time travels back, his car is getting beaten silly by alien cavemen. Bazarack prank calls Clitaurus to tell him that he found his wife's relatives. Clitaurus doesn't get it, since he's not there to see the neanderthals.

Renzo peers upon his map and finds that the shortest path to the gift shop is through The Little Reaper Romper Rec Room, past The Raging River Rapid Reaper Roller Coaster, and left at Granny Reaper's Old-Fashioned Funnel Cake Kiosk. Mal wants to hunt the reaper demon down before they leave but Renzo is deadset on leaving with their lives in tact and not even risking it with the reaper demons. Scootie gets his face painted, after upgrading to a platinum membership. Then the power goes out and things get scary. Mal uses a motion tracker to track down an active life-source, which is really close to where they are. As the gang approaches the life source, they get more and more scared until a living body drops from the ceiling, which turns out to be, not the reaper demon, but a mutilated man, who was torn to shreds by the reaper demon. The man files a formal complaint about his experience to Fichael and Fichael apoligizes to him by giving him a free box of Reapie's Pieces on the house. The costumer eats them and they fall out of the cut open slit in his severed belly.

Bazarack takes his drivers test and fucks up everything by failing to parallel park, destroying a car for voting for "Blark Flarm", and then writing a negative review about his driving instructor, which leads to him driving off a cliff.

Down in the metallic basements of The Reaper Demon Sanctuary, the gang looks around for the reaper demon. Barry explains that the reaper demon is definitely aware they're here, since reaper demons can smell their own kind and Billy is 1% reaper demon, having a steel-titanium reaper demon asshole. Billy gets pissed off about Barry's design for him and calls him a bad scientist, who did a bad job designing him. Billy leaves the group, so as not to endanger his friends. Before he goes, Scootie tells him that none of them are his friends and calls him a "Noah's Ark-Looking Motherfucker". Renzo reminds everyone of his ultimate secret weapon, Squiggles and Scootie begs Renzo the question; if Scootie is so powerful, then why's he's so scared. Renzo denies being scared until Scootie points out the shadow of the reaper demon in the deadlight. Renzo flips his shit and heads for the hills, leaving Scootie laughing as he bears his robot penis into a light, which he was using to cast the shadow. Since this is a visual gag, Barry breaks the fourth wall to explain the joke to the visually impaired members of the audience.

Renzo runs into the recreation room for the kids and everybody goes in there with him as be blasts the keypad to the door, shutting them all in. However, it turns out that their little mascot, Reapy the Reaper Demon was actually an actual reaper demon in disguise as he takes off his costume and reveals himself to the entire team. Reapy the Reaper Demon chases them all around the room and attacks them and everybody scrambles for safety. Squiggles tries to save everybody's lives by jump-attacking the reaper demon but instead gets himself devoured whole and shat out the back as a skeleton. Fichael hides with Val and Mal in the ballpit and Renzo hides among the toys in the Demon Claw. The reaper demon tries and fails to get him out and Renzo mocks him before Scootie gives him another quarter just to mock him. Scootie brings up again how since he's pretty much invincible here, he doesn't need to worry about dying, until he realizes that he doesn't have wi-fi connection at the Reaper Demon Sanctuary, since Fichael only gives out the wi-fi password with purchase from the gift shop. This means that Scootie finally freaks out and realizes he's in the same boat as everybody else. At this time, Barry hacks open the door and has everybody flee to get out. As soon as they get out, Mal shoots the pad for the door to shut it, locking Reapy in.

Outside the rec room, Reapy slams on the door repeatedly to try and get out. Scootie decides that if he's gunna die, at least he'll die high and snorts a bunch of snuffle snarts. When Reapy breaks down the doors, Mal opens fire on him, while Val reads a Solar Living magazine for her day off. Reapy chases the squad down the hallway in a Scooby-Doo style parody, to the 1960's-esque bop song, "My Whole World is You", full of gags, dance breaks, and stupidity. This all turns out to be going on in Scootie's imagination during his high, though as they're still at the door, being bombarded by Reapy. Fichael grabs Scootie and carries him off as Reapy begins to attack them.

Bazarack stops at a red light and sees Trondo in his massive spider tank beside him. Trondo bullies him again and challenges him to a drag race. Bazarack wishes he could but knows that if he races him, he'll fail his drivers test. His instructor tells him that he already failed his drivers test long ago but Trondo is sleeping with his wife. He tells Bazarack that he'll let him pass the drivers test if he kicks Trondo's ass in the drag race. Bazarack drag races Trondo and causes tons of destruction and mayhem, much of which is encouraged by the driving instructor, himself. Ultimately, Bazarack loses the drag race. However, Bazarack still has one trick up his sleeve; Bazarack uses the time travel button to go back to the Alien Hospital, where Trondo was born. There, he breaks into the hospital room and kills Trondo as a baby. Then he time travels back to the present and wins the drag race by default. The driving instructor calls this a win and Bazarack celebrates his victory by getting wasted and driving drunk, crashing into Plorpus's Pancake Pod, while it was being repaired, and killing the driving instructor before he could pass him, meaning he just screwed himself.

In a final act of stupid desperation, Bazarack wears the flayed face of the driving instructor and waltzes on into the DMV, pretending to be him, and asking to have Bazarack pass his test. This completely fails as nobody buys the shit. In the end, Bazarack has to drive a girly tricycle as his scorpion tank instead and he shows this off at his military parade, making himself look like a total ass.

The SHAT Squad searches through the sewers below The Reaper Demon Sanctuary in search of the exit for the gift shop. Fichael admits that everyone was right about the reaper demons being monsters and Renzo admits he was even braver than he said he was in the reaper demon wars, even though in actuality, he was a complete coward. Reapy makes some green gooey stuff that looks like things to lure people in to his trap. He lures in Scootie with a pizza, Mal with an CL-300 Plasma Pulse Rifle Saw, Barry with his mother's underpants, and Renzo with Squiggles. The only person left standing is Fichael, who escapes to the gift shop and buys a bunch of stuff.

Reapy has everybody captured in his cocoons, where he plants to kill them. Val, still having her day off, reads White Fragility and finds out she's a racist. Fichael comes in, armed with gift shop materials, which he uses as weapons and armor to fight Reapy. Reapy smacks down Fichael and uses his tail to fling Fichael through the ceiling, where it all started but is stopped by Billy, who blocks his attack with his invincible butthole. Billy squirts skunk spray at Reapy and head butts him into a wall, slitting a hole in his neck and then instructs Fichael to kill it. Fichael is about to kill Reapy until Reapy gets all sentimental and sings "Angel", which makes Fichael all teary-eyed and unable to bring himself to kill him. Fichael instead blasts a hole in the wall so Reapy can escape. When everybody comes back up, Barry is relieved to see that Billy is safe and Billy apologizes for what he said before, saying that he actually likes how Barry created him. Renzo wasn't there to see what happened, so he assumed that Fichael killed Reapy and congratulates him.

Back at Bazarack's Kingdom, Bazarack gets a visit from Reapy, who shows him a drivers license. Bazarack doesn't question how this drivers license is slimy, glowing, and has a pulse or even how he got a drivers license if he didn't pass and just goes on to grab it anyway, getting himself attacked by Reapy. When Reapy is about to kill Bazarack, Squiggles breaks out of his belly, killing it. Bazarack thanks Squiggles for saving him, which gets him punched in the crotch for no reason.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Renzo
* Fichael
* Scootie
* Mal Skullcruncher
* Barry Barris
* Billy
* Bazarack
* Reapy the Reaper Demon
* Driving Instructor
* Trondo

### Minor Roles

* Val Skullcruncher
* Flammy
* Clitaurus
* Squiggles
* Domestic Violence Bot (Cameo)
* President Banana (Cameo)
* Snuffle Snarts (Cameo)
* Trondo's Mom (Cameo)
* Silah (Mentioned)
* Mrs. Barris (Mentioned)

## Songs

* All Night Long
* My Whole World is You
* Angel

## Trivia

* Fichael starts a charity foundation for protecting the Reaper Demons.
* Renzo fought a war on Reaper Demons in the past and doesn't teach it in schools because of his loss.
* Flammy cheats on Renzo with President Banana.
* Bazarack loses his drivers license after crashing his car into Plorpus' Pancake Pod.
* Renzo lied to Fichael throughout his entire childhood about "Space Pirates", blaming them for every bad thing he ever did to him.
* Val takes the day off this episode.
* Billy has vaginas all over his body, most notably one on the bottom of his elephant foot.
* Renzo wears women's deodorant.
* Politically, Bazarack is conservative, given how he blew up a guy for voting for "Blark Flarm", a supposedly democratic candidate.
* Billy has the iron asshole of a reaper demon.
* Barry Barris breaks the fourth wall to explain Scootie's joke to the visually impaired members of the audience.
* According to Bazarack's drivers license, the show is set sometime in the fourth millennium, given how the date of "August 14th, 3021" appeared on his license. It's unknown if this date was meant to represent the card's expiration date, issue date, or Bazarack's date of birth.

### Continuity

* Bazarack is still upset about how the invasion parade turned out in "Robot Revolution".
* Bazarack sings "All Night Long" by the Rock and Roll Squid from "*Robot Revolution*".
* Mal references to her love for adorable puppies, previously seen in "*Robot Revolution*".

### Cultural References

* The PSA for the Reaper Demon Sanctuary parodies the commercials for the *BSPCA*, an animal abuse shelter, which was known for having the *Sarah McLachlan* song, "*Angel*", which was featured in the commercial.
* This episode parodies the *Alien* franchise and has several allusions and references to the movies:
	+ The Reaper Demons are designed and characterized after the *Xenomorphs*.
	+ Mal uses a Motion Tracker, which resembles the *M314 Motion Tracker*.
	+ Fichael dresses in robot armor and says to Reapy the Reaper Demon, "Get away from him, you bitch!", which is a quote from *Ellen Ripley*, who used robot armor to tell the *Acheron Queen* to stay away from *Newt*.
* In the first flashback of Renzo lying to Fichael about space pirates, he has a statue of a pyramid with an eye on it, which is a reference to the *Illuminati*.
* Mal says that if she wanted to kill animals, she'd go to *PetSmart*.
* Bazarack tries to bribe the driving instructor with a *Jimmy Dean* sausage.
* Reapie's Pieces are a parody of *Reese's Pieces*.
* Scootie calls Billy a "Noah's Arc Looking Motherfucker", referencing to the *Bible* story, *Noah's Arc*, where Noah boarded two of every animal onto an arc.
* The chase scene with Reapy the Reaper Demon parodies the iconic chase scenes from *Scooby Doo*.
* Mal exclaims "Clever Girl!", which is a quote by *Robert Muldoon* from *Jurassic Park*.
* Val reads the *Robin DiAngelo* book, *White Fragility* and learns from it, that she's a racist.

## See Also

**Season 1**

Welcome to Farzar • Robot Revolution • **Save the Reaper Demons** • St. Pudchugger's Day • The Adventures of Daddy O'Baggins • Flammily Reunion • Baz, Bangs, and Brains • The Great and Powerful Ozner • Memory Wars • War and Peace