Figgy Wiggins

*"That's why I became a wizard. No responsibilities."*

## History

Little is known of Figgy Wiggins's history prior to his meeting with Channing Taters, Gadai, McKenzie and Plank. He refers to his father physically punishing him when asked whether he studied at the "School of Hard Knocks".

He states that went to Van Demon's University (VDU), possibly via or partially via a correspondence course, and graduated "with honours". He received enough education to consider himself a wizard, and to pick up the accent, although we do not see him do any spells.

At some time, Figgy also acquired his "Trust no cunt" chest tattoo, due to an unexplained but clearly significant incident.

He is a resident of Nippenbiddy, and part of the Nippenbiddy Council who are behind the continued running of baby fighting matches in The Barneydome.

## Characteristics

Figgy Wiggins portrays himself as a fun-loving figure who seeks to avoid responsibilities and support the endeavours of fighters from The Barneydome by providing healing potions for them on their exit. He does seem to be enthusiastic about the Barneydome, and is on the council which ensures the continuation of underground baby fighting rings that draw in more money despite the moral implications.
Since he does not have children, unlike other members of the Nippenbiddy council, it is likely that he truly does not want them. If he told the truth to Channing and Plank, he is also not interested in sexual relationships; this is not something that he had any reason to lie about, but he was telling many lies during this conversation.
Figgy has no problems with lying to people or feigning emotions, although he overexerts himself to the extent that Channing is highly suspicious whether his grief over the dead children is real or not. He seems to consider this a self-evident part of the world, as indicated when he reminds Plank about his tattoo reading "Trust no cunt".

## Episodes

### Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1

As Channing Taters, Gadai, McKenzie and Plank exit The Barneydome following Channing's arrest, Figgy Wiggins gives Gadai, McKenzie and Plank potions which restore their health and heal their injuries.

Later that day, Figgy Wiggins is at his store when Channing Taters and Plank enter to talk to him about what has happened. The three get along well, and Figgy Wiggins talks a little about his academic past, discusses getting matching tattoos with Channing and Plank, and expresses confusion about the high infant mortality rate in the town.
However, Figgy becomes emotional and starts crying, and is horrified when Channing asks him whether the tears are genuine or to do with guilt.
Figgy then lifts his robes to reveal a chest tattoo saying "Trust no cunt" and indicates that he has been through particular events which led him to getting this tattoo. Figgy says that he will try to investigate the situation as well, and encourages Channing to bury the infant bones.

### Episode 11: Beyond Barneydome Part 2

Figgy Wiggins drags Charlie Parsnip into the public eye outside Zantasia's shop, and tells Channing Taters and Plank that he has discovered that Parsnip and Zantasia are working together to keep something concealed beneath the church. He states that the item is hidden under illusion magic, but that he has a potion which will counteract the illusion for one minute.
Once they meet with Gadai and McKenzie at the church, he gives them potions of healing and the potion which he says will counteract the illusion magic.
However, Figgy meets the group again at the far end of the corridor, where his potion has instead shrunk them to infants. Unmoved by their anger, he explains to them that the real money in The Barneydome is not in the normal daytime fights, but in secret night fights which pit babies against each other. He then points them down the corridor to the fighting arena.

When the group exits the fighting arena, and once they have said that they will not be angry, Figgy Wiggins again gives them potions to restore their health, and laughs at what he assumes is a deliberate joke when McKenzie fails to punch him. He accepts a kick to the crotch from Channing Taters, however, in return for the ruined day.

## Appearances

* Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1
* Episode 11: Beyond Barneydome Part 2

## Quotes

* "I just want everybody to have fun. Everybody's so serious! Everybody's always crying about the missing babies and stuff. I'm a wizard, like, I don't get into that stuff - I don't make babies, I don't do any of that, I've never had a baby, it's not my thing." - Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1
* "There's always something happening, like - the kids, oh, they drowned in the river. They fell in the ravine. Oh, the dingledongers got them! Or they were spirited away by fairies or ran away from home or, or turned into birds and flew alike. Like, it's always something with these kids." - Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1
* "That's why I became a wizard. No responsibilities." - Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1

## Trivia

* Figgy Wiggins references having the ability to cast Fire Bolt (Cantrip), Cure Wounds (1st Level), and Sleep (1st Level), but claims to not have a spell relating to finding people.