Well that's not good

**Well that's not good** is the 42nd episode of Assertive Acquisitions.

## Synopsis

The episode beings in the carrier's medical room, the group having made use of the carrier's new cryopods.

Splitsie plans on finishing off the hangar bays, and building an automated defense drone, however he doesn't actually get around to doing that this episode, and is mocked for this by text added during the edit.

Splitsie adds to the lighting of the welder array and completes the hangar space, giving the room between the hangar bays a finished look, giving it a low roof in preparation for building missile bays.

### Attack on an ASSERT. Thumberbird 1

TFE notices the signal of an ASSERT. Thumberbird 1, and suggests to Splitsie that Splitsie's railguns could be tested on it. Splitsie agrees, and in turn asks Capac if he wants to test his own fighter, so the three intercept the Thumberbird in the H-Tram, Pointy Stick, and Green Menace.

During the battle, the Pointy Stick's large thruster was critically damaged, greatly impacting its manuverability and preventing Splitsie from keeping up with the Thumberbird, which ultimately got away.

### Investigating a SCRAP. signal and Shopping

While they were returning from the battle, TFE noticed an enemy signal called "SCRAP. The Voyager," which appeared only breifly. He and Capac went out in the H-Tram and Green Menace to investigate it. They didn't find an explanation for the signal, but they did see more signals of other SCRAP vessels including a Firefly. TFE found a very small object, which appeared to be the remains of a drone or some other small ship.

Meanwhile, Splitsie checked out a "TRADE. Wandering Merchant," and spent most of the group's money on more explosives.

### Upgrades to Splitsie's fighter

Splitsie decided to upgrade the Pointy Stick, prioritizing it over designing a drone fighter. He also came up with a name for it: renaming it from the *Pointy Stick* to the *Saffron*.

Splitsie considered grinding down the spare, now outdated Pointy Stick that was also parked in the carrier, but decided to just leave it.

### Attack on an ASSERT. Quasi Modo

After upgrading his fighter, Splitsie spotted the signal of an ASSERT. Quasi Modo, which he excitedly brought up with the others, citing that it had good [hydrogen] fuel supplies on it.

Splitsie engaged the Quasi Modo with his newly upgraded Saffron fighter, shooting out its gattling turrets with his railguns, while TFE and Capac engaged its drones in their H-Tram and Green Menace.

The Quasi Modo was rendered defenseless, however it continued to fly around erratically, preventing Splitsie from magnetically locking the Saffron to it, so Splitsie got Capac to switch ships to the Pull-O-Conflict while Splitsie continued to give chase to the Quasi Modo so it didn't escape. Once Capac arrived with the Pull-O-Conflict, Splitsie switched to fighting off the drones. After Capac had arrived, they noticed that the Wasabi was still landed on the hull of the Pull-O-Conflict, and had come along for the ride.

#### Boarding

The Quasi Modo was still to mobile for the Pull-O-Conflict to grab it, so it was decided that the best course of action was to board it by jetpack. Splitsie tried to park the Saffron to the Pull-O-Conflict, but that proved too difficult so he just increased its antenna range and bailed from it.

As Splitsie boarded the Quasi Modo, it started spinning very fast. Because of this, an interior turret in the bridge was not able to shoot Splitsie, nor was he able to shoot it. Meanwhile, drones trying to attack Splitsie were shooting at the ship. Splitsie escaped the situation by grinding a hole through the front windshield.

#### Interruption by a Mysterious 3rd Party

After Splitsie had left the Quasi Modo and was now hanging out behind it with his jetpack, the ship passed an unknown vessel without any identifying signal that was firing rockets and appeared to be hostile to both parties. Splitsie tried to engage it with his rifle, but took a gattling bullet that left him with 10% of his health remaining, so he retreated to the Pull-O-Conflict.

TFE asked if Splitsie wanted him to hang around it so they could investigate it, while a tense Splitsie suggested that they need to back off from it, figuring that it has stolen their "kill" of the Quasi Modo. TFE however noticed that the unknown vessel was stationary, so he made a GPS marker near it and they regrouped on the Quasi Modo.

#### Crash

After healing with its survival kit, Splitsie left the Pull-O-Conflict and went to board the Quasi Modo again, which the Pull-O-Conflict was chasing closely.

Suddenly, the Pull-O-Conflict crashed into the Quasi Modo, resulting in a giant explosion, killing both Splitsie and Capac and causing signifigant damage to both ships, including taking out the Pull-O-Conflict's survival kit. The Wasabi was presumably destroyed as well.

#### Back to the Quasi Modo

Splitsie went to the Quasi Modo to retrieve his items, but discovered that the ship was still operational as it turned around and killed him with its interior turret.

Capac arrived at the Quasi Modo. As its erratic rotating made it difficult, Capac decided to disable its gyroscope, however this caused it to get stuck in a fast spin, making it very difficult to board again. Splitsie managed to board it a couple times, but ultimately he seemed to give up on capturing the Quasi Modo and he returned to his Saffron to fly home.

#### Residual drones

A couple drones attacked the carrier as Splitsie was flying home to it. To prevent damage, he got TFE to jump the carrier out of harms way, and proceeded to chase down and destroy the drones. After the drones were taken out, TFE jumped the carrier back to the uranium asteroid.

### Aftermath

Splitsie wrapped up the episode while flying towards the carrier with a cinematic camera angle. The Pull-O-Conflict was not recovered, and they did not know where it ended up. Capac didn't really care, but Splitsie wanted to recover it for its fully in-tact jump drive and other components that survived (assuming they weren't destroyed by drones after it was last seen).

## References

1. ↑ 7:11 into the episode
2. ↑ 26:44 into the episode
3. ↑ 46:00 into the episode