Making This All Worth It..?

Neela and Shiro meet for the first time, and are quick to share a cute kiss! Well, not immediately of course; Shiro establishes a relationship with Neela first, and expresses lots of love.

## EXP Awarded

**Neeru Nehanth (Neela)** - 135 EXP (Neela's personality and little quirks are finally given a chance to shine! Entering a real relationship is a new experience for him, and the roleplay properly elaborates on not only how the relationship begins, but also why. He also elaborates on how things are on his side of the relationship with Cerise.)

**Shiro Schwartz** - 120 EXP (Shiro's tendency to quickly form attachments is cemented.)

## Roleplay

Neela was lost. Well, first of all he hardly fronted enough to be able to know his way around Beacon. Secondly, he was just.. out of it as usual. He glanced at his limbs and was surprised, he tapped the rest of his body. His clothes were so ... light compared to before. Last thing he remembered wearing was a long Indian dress and a turbin, but these soft black short shorts and blue tank top felt much more comfortable. But where did he get them? He hadn't had a job in ... oh wait did he ever work? He had some vague understanding of a ... restaurant...? Some guys speaking in Tagalog... but where was that...? Was that in Mistral...? Was he in Mistral ...? Wait, no, this was Vale, Beacon. But how did he get here? Airship? Oh wait, he was going to get sick again at the thought of that. Flying, not being able to touch the ground. The ground was bad enough to add not being on the ground into the mix! But there was also falling! He was always falling...

Lost in a huge mess of rapid thoughts, to anyone it would have appeared that Neela was just tapping his body and staring off into space with a blank expression. It took a while for him to snap out of it, andddddd he was lost again. He took a few steps forwards, his balance was never all that good. He was mostly focusing on the whole "being" out part and trying to make sense of where he was both location and time - wise. Okay so ... Zaffrea! She's with Cerise? So that means they're loving each other by themselves. They don't need me right now. Wait... did they ever need me? Did ... anyone ever need me? Neela started to contemplate trying to figure out his worth. He could strategize, he had quite a bit of intelligence to think in a more abstract way since he was in head space so often. But being in head space so much, he was never out to do anything for anyone... He made people happy! Wait... no that wasn't true, he couldn't emotionally involve himself easily and wasn't given enough time out to anyway. He could front more. OUT OF THE QUESTION AHHHHH. There was nothing he could do, but.. Nur needed him, right? Neela smiled softly, at least if anyone did, it would be him.. right? Nur didn't have to handle life on his own and when things just got too tiring, Neela was a small break. So... was that making this all worth it..?

Neela instantly forgot about what he was thinking about as he realize he was about to walk off the cliff, teetering over edge! He would have definitely been able to catch himself before stupidly walking over but glancing down accentuated his terrible fear of heights! He was getting dizzier and with little stability in the first place, seemed to be genuinely going to take the fall! He was already picturing it now and slightly inclined to let himself fall.

A hand rested on his shoulder, pulling him back from the cliffs edge.

"There you are, I was looking all over for you. I heard what happened and thought you may need a helping hand during this time."

Came the voice as he turned him around to a smiling pale male.

"Looked like you were about to fall and that wouldn't do at all. Oh I rhymed!"

Shiro had heard of him being here and with everything happening, hoped he wasn't going to do what he though would have happened.

Neela fell slightly backwards, leaning into the taller and paler male who towering a foot over him. Neela blinked twice, fixated on his features, forgetting almost instantly that he was about to plummet who knows how many hundred feet over the cliff. He also did not process anything the other said. Instead just looking at Shiro with the blankest of expressions though in reality was attempting (and miserably failing) to process a vast amount of rapid, incoherent and frankly irrelevant thoughts. He wondered if the little white pieces of hair on Shiro were real and since he was leaning in on him already, back pressed against the other's chest, his head tilted up towards Shiro, he reached over and give a small piece of white hair a little tug. Oh yeah it was real. Wait.. real... that meant he was out, not inside where it was safe! He started to panic slightly trying to move away from Shiro as he leaned back towards the cliff, remembering it was there then just flopped to the ground, bumping back into Shiro but this time his legs as he hugged them and looked up at him, not recognizing him at all, "Uh.... hi...." he said softly but with a confused expression that asked who are you? Needless to say, it would take a shit load of patience to get anything through him.

He looked at him, a bit clueless as to what he was doing before he actually did it. To which this point. He saw then male move back and closer to the edge. Just as he was going to grab him, the male fell to the ground and curled up, looking up at him with a confused looked.

"Ah, hello, I'm Shiro Schwarz. I have met you once before, though briefly, so I understand if you don't recognize me. I take it you know of Nur? I am in a relationship with him. And I just wanted to see if you were alright."

He said with a smile.

He was smiling! Friendly? Neela smiled back and was still holding onto his legs, he didn't get to process much of what he said, but was able to grab some important stuff, "Ah... Shiro?" he said in his soft and delicate voice, "Oh! So ... you're also with Nur? I'm sorry I'm not him... do you want me to switch..?" He spoke in a very friendly tone, but did not hide a small amount of sadness, he felt left out again. Of course it wasn't anyone's fault. He was barely out, but it seemed everyone was happier with Nur, so he didn't want to come in an force them to put up with him.

"I know you aren't him, Neela, but I still want to talk to you and get to know you better. So you don't have to switch."

He smiled and Sat down next time him.

"I honest to god, I want to know more about you as well, and if you wish...since I am with your headmate as well..."

He hoped he understood what he was trying to get at for the last part.

Neela looked over at Shiro, mostly contemplative over his words. Okay... so he didn't want him to switch... then what did he want him for...? Think, Neela, think.. What did Cerise ever want him for..? Ah! A mental light bulb clicked itself as he thought that he understood based on his last part getting a little suggestive, "You want to fuck me?" he pointed to himself and looked rather innocent doing so. He was severely misunderstanding, but thought he got it spot on as he didn't see what other use he would be!

If he had water in his mouth, he would have done a spit take. The answer came as a massive surprise to him.

"No, not necessarily. I was trying to say if you want to be in a relationship with me and my headmates, like we are with Nur. But this is completely up to you. I don't want you to be lonely and I have a good feeling I would end up loving you as much as I love Nur. Though if you want to stay as friends for the time being, that is completely fine as well. I don't want to force you."

He said quickly after his response before sighing.

"I figured you'd want someone to love you."

Neela was having some difficulty keeping up with everything Shiro was saying. First trying to understand the "no, not necessarily", wait was he being rejected? It's not that sex was always on his mind, but Neela didn't understand much of anything other than what Cerise had shown what their relationship was about, therefore he assumed the same applied to everything else? If anything Neela was put to better use that way, he figured. He was starting to space out as Shiro get talking, reaching over to run his hands through Shiro's hair, still mesmerized that it could be different colors like that. It reminded him of a skunk! Black and white! But of course, Shiro didn't have the nasty smelling connotation that a skunk had, but wait .. maybe... Neela pulled Shiro into an embrace of shorts as he sniffed him, chest, then face, than ear close to his hair. No, he smelled good! Oh shit, he was talking to him this whole time wasn't he.. There was no use trying to catch up now so Neela furrowed his brow a bit and settling his head on Shiro's shoulder still in this sort of embrace he glanced up at Shiro directly again, this time fully planning on paying attention. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
He tried to remember and sort of recalled Shiro saying something about someone loving him, "I don't think anyone loves me. I'm no one special. I'm just a mess," he said matter of factly.

As he was talking, he saw and felt Neela snif and smell him before he looked back at him, telling him what he saud.

"You have the tendency to space out at times, don't you? Not matter. I was saying I want to be with you, I want to love you like I love Nur. Would that be ok with you? And as for no one loving you, I would with all my heart. And if you think your a mess, try living and dealing with 5 other headmates as well...we are a lot alike....I want to spend time with you. I want to love you."

He said with a smile.

"I know we more or less just met, but it is a gut feeling I have..."

Neela was laying on his shoulder, listening intensely this time. He didn't really know how, but Shiro really calmed him down a bit about being out. Maybe it was the fact that he was actually gentle and patient, virtues rarely if ever shown to him. He stayed still for quite a bit, wanting to fully understand what he said, his velvet and delicate voice, significantly different from Nur's, broke the silence, "You want ... a real relationship with me?" he sounded only slightly hesitant, but this was only because the matter was shocking to him. He had been left out of Nur's relationship with Jade. Nur also dominated their relationship with Cerise. But ... this person was actually considering him, why though? Neela was a bit confused but thought back to what he said about "headmates" as he called it, "Oh! You mean ... oh! Five others? Wow! There's only Nur and myself but I never come out as it is, how do you spread time around with five?" Neela was giggling lightly, he was mesmerized by Shiro and his calmness allowed him to space out less. Breathing lightly he sighed with a bit of content, "I .. want to meet them sometime, I know how it feels to be inside most of the time. And ... I really like you. I think I would like to feel included with you guys so..." he smiled in the cutest of smiles, "Yeah, I want to!"

He nodded with a smiled when he was shocked to hear that he wanted to be in a relationship with him.

"Yes, I really do."

He smiled and kissed his head.

"And as for that...they come out when they think I need help thay they can do...or a change in strategy...or when I go shopping....Rune loves shopping and getting dresses...she is the only girl on there and wants to feel pretty....though two of which I will rarely let out purposely because genocide is their only goal and destruction is their plan....Soren more so than Inay....Inay has a god complex...they are the ones you would never want to meet...."

He said a grave tone before quickly switching to a happier one.

"I am happy you think so. I am happy you joined us, Dear Neela."

He kissed his lips gently.

Neela sighed with content over the soft kiss on the head and was about to respond to Shiro but his mouth got a little busy. Neela was fully expecting to be overwhelmed by the sensation of being kissed but when Shiro's lips pressed against his, it was more on the pleasant side than intolerable. Neela wrapped his arms around Shiro though, and pulled him into an embrace as they kissed which he held for a bit breaking off slightly to break in which he went back to nuzzling Shiro. "Hmmmm," he hummed softly, feeling so content he felt he would burst right there.

He had closed his eyes when he kissed him, so he was hoping he wasn't being too forward. But when he felt around wrap around him, he figured he did what was right at the time as he was pulled into the embrace. After a bit, they broke their kiss and he just help him. He nuzzled him a bit, holding him close.

"Love you, Neela."

He said smoothly and relaxed.

Neela was quiet for a while, thinking for a bit as he nuzzled Shiro back, he was never much of a talker, but somehow he opened his mouth and spoke in an understood coherent way, a little different from his distracted nonsense he usually spouted, "I feel... relaxed... Shiro ... you ... say you want to love me ... and you say it like that to ... and for once, this isn't something that's hard for me. Being out ... it's really hard on me. There's so much that I can't handle, so much that I don't know how to process, so I hide because I don't want to handle it ... but maybe ...? Maybe the happiness I'm feeling right now can make it worth it? For me, I don't like extreme emotions ... happiness included, and I have to admit, I'm not head over heels in love with you or attracted to you, but I feel a very calming, this is right kind of feeling? Something I've always wanted, something that doesn't force me to emotionally get out of my comfort zone but that makes me content. I hope that's okay with you ... I ... actually don't like sex. Sure it's something I was curious about, but when it happened to me, I felt for certain this wasn't going to be something I could handle and often switch to Nur when it does happen to me. Cerise doesn't know that though ... he doesn't really have the patience to understand me, and gets kinda mad sometimes when I am trying to communicate with him but it doesn't work. Heh, I don't want to break his heart, because he feels that the physical aspect of our relationship is the most important thing, but it's hard on me, both emotionally and physically to do it with him. Especially him ... Oh, sorry! I don't know your feelings on all this, I should be more considerate..." Neela sighed again and just settled in Shiro's arms to continue their comfortable silence.

He was quiet, letting him speak for himself, and by the sound of it, for once. He held him close to chest, though the metal bars on his jacket might be a bit uncomfortable for him, but it seemed he didn't mind all that much. He continued to listen to everything that came from his lips. When he stoppped, he decided to let him speak for himself.

"I am glad I am able to give you that feeling of calmness and the slight amount of love and happiness to make being out here bearable. If it is alright with you with not going out of your comfort zone, I will fully back you on it. I want to make you are happy as you are comfortable feeling."

He said with a kiss to his head before continuing.

"As for the physical aspect of a relationship. I am more for emotional attractions than physical. So no sex with you is fine. I don't want to force anything onto you. What ever you are comfortable with, so am i."

He looked down at him with a smile.

In the midst of their cuddles, Neela felt something hard and poked his chest, wondering what it was. He was fully distracted now but this and started to play around more with his jacket, trying to take if off to see what this metallic feeling was. Neela didn't mean to not respond to Shiro, he just got distracted so easily and was very simple minded!

He looked down at him to see what he was doing before realizing that the plates and bars of metal on his jacket were making him uncomfortable.

"Oh. I am so sorry about that."

He helped him slip his jacket off, landing with a dull thud.

"Sorry, love."

He kissed his head.

Neela was fully distracted with the jacket and continued to play with it as he took it off but then went back to nuzzling Shiro happy that he was patient with him and kissed him. Neela found it easy to be around Shiro and honestly even though he felt like he was always lost somewhere, it all just didn't seem to matter anymore. Normally a whole shit load of incoherent or irrelevant thoughts would be taking his attention away or making him feel confused, but right now he only had a couple of thoughts on his mind.
Shiro smells nice. Shiro called me his love. He is my love.