Dangan Ronpa: Unser Sommerende/Chapter 4 - Daily Life (2)

Continued from Chapter 4 - Motive.

[1]

At the very least, it felt like the cafeteria meeting had a point to it this time. I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d gauge the willingness to counteract this motive, though, because, for one thing, a good percentage of us seemed affected by it to some pretty bad degrees. I don’t remember exactly which ones of us, but it was pretty much who you’d expect, the sensitive and more reliant types of people. Second of all, with the failures of our past anti-motive actions, there was little faith in the utility of taking action in the first place.

The other somewhat remarkable thing was that Jo had attended the meeting for once. He didn’t say much at first, though none of us said much at first either. He was just sitting there, smirking. It didn’t even seem like he was planning something, I’m pretty sure he was just trying to creep us out.

“... Any plans?” Rocky said, after a lengthy silence. “If we ain’t got anything to say, then why’re we here?”

“It’s... More about...” Archie said, stopping over and over. “... Figuring something out. There’s... No plans yet.” He kept looking down at the table, slowly tapping it a few times. “Well... Maybe we should just keep an eye on each other.”

“An eye?...”

“I mean, not an actual system of monitoring each other, just... Watching out...”

“So we’re all just watching ourselves.” I sighed. “Great. This sort of outlook was inevitable, wasn’t it?”

“Guess so.” Charlotte said, starting to smile, which was considerably rare on her part. “We should’ve just been like that from the start. You can never know if someone has it out for you, right?”

“Look, that’s not the attitude we need right now, okay?”

“Won’t change the facts, though.”

“Good job, Char.” Jo said, lying back in his seat like he was at some five star resort, world on a platter. “Glad to see someone’s catching on to how things work around here.”

“Shut up... My name’s not Char!”

“Hey, hey, there’s no CLAWS for alarm, Char.”

“... I don’t get it...”

“Y’see, it’s like-”

“We don’t need to hear it!” Molly said, slamming a hand on the table. “... I’m a bit aggravated at the moment, yes, but the last thing the group needs is praise for your anarchic and selfish policies! And we don’t need you butchering the English language with your low-effort paronomasias!”

“Alright, I guess I’m not welcome at the meetings that are meant to be for everyone. What a pity.” He closed his eyes, shrugged, and looked off to the side, clearly disinterested in the rest of the conversation, or at least, that’s what he let on.

“... Anyways,” Archie resumed, “I meant to imply that we’d keep an eye on each other’s safety, not forcing ourselves to be suspicious of everyone.”

“But we should still watch out for suspicious goings on, too.”, Rocky added.

“... Yeah.”

“... This is futile...” Dan said to himself as he stood up, before speaking at a more audible volume. “If anybody needs me, I’ll be in my room. We only have so much time in our lives to use... Even if that, too, is futile.”

“We get it, you’re sad.” I said. I’d honestly had enough of this shit, too, so I can’t blame him, even if I would’ve come across as too harsh. Not really seeing the point of this either, I just sort of walked out without bothering to say goodbye to anybody.

[2]

It’s hard not to feel shit when everything’s going to shit.

I just went to my room, similar to Dan, and sat there for a bit. Lied around, not much to say. Tired of everything. I’d honestly given up on the whole killing game thing, at least for the time being. Yeah, maybe this was just a bad mood, things might look better in the morning.

I mean, I couldn’t just go to sleep, in fact... It was already morning. This morning, rather than tomorrow morning. Surely there was something to do, at least for a bit, right?

As if someone was listening in on my thoughts, there was a light, if rapid, series of knocks to the door. Whoever this was could help distract me from the stress, which would be great, but considering that the meeting probably only just ended, they probably wanted to talk about the killing game, anyway... But it’d be rude to just not answer the door at all.

[3]

“Hi hi hi!” It was Amber, and looking surprisingly chipper taking into account how today had gone so far. “Great to see you, Jane!”

“Err, it’s a pleasure to see you as well, Amber. Are you here for something important, or would you just like to talk?”

“Um...”

“Either’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“I mean, I’d wanna do both, but I’ve got a lot of other people to get through, so uh...”

“Get through? Are you doing a survey or something?”

“Not really, but uh, I’ll tell you if you wanna know! I mean, I have to tell you anyway, but uh... Yeah!” Walking in (she slipped by me without me even having a chance to move, thanks to her small stature), she sat her penguin toy at the end of my bed, and retrieved a slit of paper from under her sleeve.

“Do you just keep paper in your sleeves all day?... That’s bound to cause irritation.”

“Well, it doesn’t really rub up that much, so it’s a lot less harmful than you’d expect.”

“Ah, I see.” I smiled. “... Wait,” I said, smile dropping to disbelief, “why would you just be carrying pieces of paper in your clothes constantly?”

“Y’see, sometimes when I’m bored, I practice calligraphy. I can’t spend all my time sowing, you know... Or my fingers’ll fall right off!” She giggled after saying this, although she seemed naive enough that I wasn’t sure whether or not she was actually joking in regards to phalange stability. “I was about to do some a couple minutes ago, and that’s when I had an idea! See, since we mentioned things we could do to try and stop, uh, bad stuff from happening... I remembered about the poem that Jo wrote in the last investigation, so... I figured I’d record everybody’s handwriting, so nobody tries anything weird like that again!”

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea... So, do I just write something down there?”

“Mhm!” Cheerful, she handed the paper to me along with a pen. “By the way, I made sure to come to you first this time, because I felt really really bad that I saved you for last when it came to hanging out with every person I could early on, so... Yeah! Uh-huh!”

“You’re, uh, welcome. So, should I write something specific or?...”

“Anything’s good! Go ahead!”

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

I tapped the back of the pen on my chin, thinking up something generic to write down, and got to work putting pen to paper... Only for the paper to remain completely blank.

“Err, Amber, I... Believe the pen’s out of ink."

[4]

“... Ah. Uh-huh...” Her smile started to seem a little more forced. “I g-guess I failed, haha!”

“It’s fine, you, uh, you can just get another pen! Or, I don’t know... Maybe you can just take the letter I got earlier, and copy down some of the writing? That should do the job.”

“R-really?” She made a sort of ‘o’ face expressing wonder and joy. “You’d share something so personal and important with me like that?”

“Well, I didn’t say you could read all of it, but uh, go ahead. It’s not like I have anything to hide, right?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll just use as much as I need! Thank you so so so much!!!” She promptly hugged me, very tightly, although not so tight it that it hurt. I imagined if she wasn’t so tiny, it’d probably hurt a lot...

[5]

So I gave her my letter, wished her luck, and sent her off. She said she’d do the same for everyone else, although I figured she could just grab a working pen before seeing anyone else. Whatever the case, it was definitely nice that Amber was helping out like this. Maybe we were finally starting to sort things out. I still didn’t have any ideas myself, but perhaps putting in effort to keep us safe wasn’t just a waste of time.

Nothing much else happened that day, but I spent it in a better mood than expected.

[6]

MONOYAKI HOROSCOPE

Scorpio!

Expect it to be dry when you’re in, and drizzly when you’re out, and a fire-starting lightning storm when your oven’s on. Maybe just forget about cooking dinner tonight...

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

Morning came, and, slightly more eager, I got dressed and cleaned my teeth and the like. I don’t know why I’m mentioning it this time, since I had done that every morning anyway, but I just seemed to be noticing the little things in life once again... A momentary lapse of reason in regards to acknowledging the still dire situation we were in.

[7]

As we held the meeting, the present students were now numbering seven, missing Mary and Jo as usual, but this time, Charlotte wasn’t present either.

“It’s concerning that she hasn’t shown up,” Archie said, “she’s been here every meeting we’ve had.”

Molly adjusted the flower on her hair, looking a bit self-righteous in a way, it’s a bit hard to describe. “Honestly, it’s odd that she has a perfect record. I’d assume her to be completely distrusting of any of us, so the fact that she’d be present every time surprises me.”

“Perhaps she only wants to know what’s always going on...” Lucy said, with that consistent head tilt. “She must have incredible perception, always focusing on everyone’s minute details... Everyone’s deceptions...”

“And you don’t wonder if she’d read any false positives?”

“Look,” Rocky said with that sort of mix of conviction and apathy which, despite sounding paradoxical, indicates a need to get on with it, “are we gonna look for the lass or not?”

“Well, we could just knock on her door?” I suggested. “Maybe she’s sleeping in.”

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

We went to the door, knocked, big surprise, no response.

[8]

So, the obvious first assumption was that she could be dead, but of course, that was a pretty big assumption, so we agreed quite quickly to search the rest of the school. There wasn’t any real grouping, we just split off into individuals, which I’ll admit was somewhat dangerous considering the possibility that one of us might already have been killed... But I guess we just didn’t think of that at the time.

If you’re getting anxious, don’t worry, that didn’t lead to anyone’s deaths during the searching period.

Anyways, I’m not good at looking for things. Or people. I just sort of meandered around the school hoping to see or hear something but found nothing, no sign of the girl. No clue what had happened to her. Really, I figured that if she was dead, someone else would find her eventually. Did I care for Charlotte that much?... I was a bit horrified that I was asking myself if I really didn’t value her as a fellow human, but I had to be honest with myself, how many people here did I really care about? Aside from Lucy, everyone just felt like an acquaintance or just a sort-of-friend. Of course, seeing people die was never nice. I still didn’t want any of us to die, not even the slightly shitty ones.

I just didn’t expect death to be preventable at this point, so I was resigned to the whole thing.

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

The lounge of the rec room is really comfortable. Resting on it just lets you forget about the pressure of wondering if someone’s gonna jump out and kill you. Well, honestly, I never really entertained that concept until now, I guess I should have been more careful hanging out with people one-on-one, but I wasn’t dead yet, huh? Whatever, the TV was my friend. I didn’t even really pay attention to what was playing on it... To think I had apparently started the day off all whimsy and joyful. I guess the killing game continues no matter how I feel, huh? Nobody sees you when you’re on cloud nine.

So I just kept staring at the box without registering what the show was. Not like anyone else cared what was on it.

“So, you’re enjoyin’ it, too?” Hearing someone right next to me made me a little more aware of my surroundings, and I finally began to process that the TV program was an old western movie, cowboys and the like. “Wasn’t expectin’ you of all people, but it’s a pleasant surprise, anyways.” Rocky resumed focusing on the television, but he was probably taking it in a more than I was. I didn’t actually understand the appeal of the film at all, although I didn’t understand anything that was happening in it because of my state. Why was I even like this so suddenly? Maybe I just needed human connection to bring me out of this mindset...

[9]

“... Sorry to disappoint, I’m just sort of... Sitting here. Not sure what’s supposed to be going in in the plot or... Anything at all.”

“Got it.” Rocky responded, taking it better than I might have expected. “Good chance one or two things’ll get through to ya. If you really want, I’ll explain the-”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry. I’ll probably just forget again...”

I was honestly being counter-productive about the human connection thing now, but I figured if I agreed to his offer, it’d quickly turn into a one sided conversation. His obsession with the whole concept was a bit fascinating, though... Being so focused on the film was already impressive, at least to someone as disinterested as I was, but along with his outfit and... Accent. I don’t know if he was actually American, since they don’t even speak like cowboys there anymore... It had to be fake. He was clearly going to extremes to present some sort of idealised version of himself, and that’s what really made me think. It was like a 24/7 performance art on his end.

“... If anything,” I said, “I’d like, I dunno, a general overview of the appeal of this sort of movie.”

“Y’know there ain’t a real explanation, right?” He said, leaning back into the lounge a little. “It’s like askin’ a raccoon why it loves eatin’ trash. Don’t make a lick of sense to anyone who ain’t a raccoon.”

“I suppose so, but... Surely there’d be some sort of subconscious thing about your personality? I mean, if it’s subconscious, then it’d be unnoticeable, but you know what I mean, right?”

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

“... So you really need me to get into it, huh?” He straightened himself up a bit, the tail of his hat waving a tiny bit from the movement. “If there’s any use in it, I’ll say what I need to.” Noticing his tone of voice had become notably more serious, I turned away from the screen and saw his bleak expression. “I’d really rather not say anything.”

“I... I see. I’ll just make it simple then, is there any sort of... Value in the movies that appeal to you? Any sort of experience tied to it?”

[10]

“... Independence.” He turned back to the screen for a second, as if he had said all he needed to, only to turn back to me, if only slightly turned at all. “If you’re not independent in this world, someone’s gonna take control of you. Then you’re done for.” He then looked back at the screen for another few seconds, then cupped his face in his hands, silent, only to reach for the remote, lightly pressing the off button without picking it up, letting the rest of the room go silent completely. “... If we could all be willing to stand up for ourselves, the world’d be better off.”

“... I mean, not everyone wants to stand up for themselves or whatever. Some people just want to go with the way things are, or let someone else take care of them or something.”

“Then at the very least, they gotta make sure they’re with someone who’s gonna protect ‘em. It’s the people who intrude and control others that deserve bullets more than anyone else. That’s why this whole killing game’s gotten to my head. I think it’s mangled all our heads by this point...” He stood, stretched a little, and turned to the door. “You can stay here if you want. I don’t care. I need a drink.”

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

“... Cactus juice?”

“What, you scared I’ll try and get alcohol or somethin’?”

“Nah. Just a lucky guess or something.”

“... Least you still got a sense of humour, Jane. Never really liked smart alecs, but it’s fine, though. Just don’t let ‘em take your soul away.”

He left.

... I still had a soul, what does that mean?...

... Wait, souls don’t exist, that’s like, a myth or some crap...

Whatever. I’d had enough of sitting here doing nothing. If anyone discovered Charlotte, I’d probably get told sooner or later.

I just went back to my room. Again. And eventually slept. Again.

[11]

MONOYAKI HOROSCOPE

Sagittarius!

Sagittarius’s are known to sag... Itarius. Saggy in the face, like a pug. They tend to have just as many dental problems as a pug, as well, so you’d better get a check up within three days or less, or who knows what could happen! Maybe you’ll wake up one day, and you’ll have turned into a pile of teeth! I dunno, I’m not a dentist, don’t ask me.

[12]

Slept in this time around. Maybe I just needed a day like that. A day where I just sleep in the entire time and not do anything.

Then, there was a blip on my Monopad which was lying on the bedside desk. Not an announcement over the speaker or anything like that, just a ding. Reluctantly reaching over, I stared blankly at the screen as my eyes did their best to concentrate on the words. After putting in some effort, the newly added text became legible:

Rule #13: The entrepreneur may only kill a maximum of two people.

Rule #14: Additional school regulations may be added if necessary.

I had no idea why that got added or why that only appeared just now. There was probably something going on in the meeting, some sort of fuss. The idea of it just made me want to stay in bed even more, so I switched off the device again and rested my head.

Although I had made up my mind that I’d just stay in, after just a few seconds or so, there was a knock on my door. I’d assume it was the rest of the class trying to look for me like they did for Charlotte... But I didn’t hear multiple people talking or mumbling, even. The rooms were sound-proof, of course, but that brought up the question of how I was able to hear knocks in the first place. Whatever the case, I was under the impression that there was just one person there, so I figured it wouldn’t be too much of a chore to talk to them for a bit. Even if it was the whole group, I’d just verify that I was alive and well and end it there. Maybe it was just Amber giving me back my letter, not that I really wanted to keep it... Though she could just slide it under my door, really.

But instead, opening the door showed Mary. Why Mary? Why was she here? I wasn’t really processing anything because I hadn’t bothered to turn my brain on yet, so no answers were popping up right away.

“I have to verify something with you,” she said, her cold tone sounding a little more concerned than usual, “were you in or around the computer room at any point yesterday?”

“... What happened?...” I said, rubbing my eyes.

“Answer the question, Attebury.”

“... I wasn’t. Just please, give me a quick rundown so I can head back to sleep or something.”

[13]

“... It’d be best if you knew, so I’ll make it quick. Yesterday afternoon, Cody was... Er, Rackham... He snapped, I guess. I don’t know.” She broke eye contact, starting to seem genuinely confronted for once. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but he just became extremely violent out of nowhere. He was banging on the door and screeching and, well, fortunately the door was locked. He’s fine, now, though he doesn’t recall the events of the afternoon and night well.”

“So, did you guys just leave him there overnight?”

“There was  no real choice. I’m just asking because it doesn’t seem right that he’d go crazy out of nowhere...”

“Really? He seems like he doesn’t have much self-control to me, so...”

“No no, I mean, yes, he’s a bit violent normally, but... The way he was locked in there and just going rabid, like he’d lost any humanity... And how he was already locked in there somehow, and he couldn’t escape, and yet the next morning he was in his room... Nothing adds up.” She looked off in silence for a few more seconds, then straightened herself up and put her usual stern face on. “... And this is why I’ve come to you today. I’ve... Found something that I need to show you that makes everything even more complicated. I’ll admit that despite our disagreements, so far you’ve proven to be quite brave and shrewd, and truly one of the most-”

“Look, you don’t need to give me some big rousing speech, I’m not a soldier, Mary.”

“... W-well I thought it’d help wake you up. Whatever, just... You need to see this, okay?”

[SOUNDTRACK PAUSES]

“A-alright...” I yawned as she lead me out of my room and down the hall, before stopping just outside the door to Amber’s room. She looked at me, seemed a little apathetic for a moment, and pushed the door open. “... It’s unlocked?”

“You can probably figure it out. Do you even need to look?”

“I don’t understand, what?...” Pushed forward by curiosity despite the odd unease to this interaction, I looked through the doorway.

[14]

An unbending trail of blood, somewhat short, lead up to Amber’s body, propped up against the wall as if she were sitting there, with a bullet wound in her forehead. Her penguin toy was resting on her lap.

Continued in Chapter 4 - Deadly Life