Killarney Heights

**Killarney Heights** is a small suburb of northern Sydney, in the state of New South Wales, Australia. Killarney Heights is part of the Northern Beaches and also considered to be part of the Forest District, colloquially known as *The Forest*.

Killarney Heights has panoramic views of Middle Harbour from a few locations. The suburb is located on a peninsula bound by the waters of Middle Harbour to the south-west towards Roseville Chase and Bantry Bay to the east. Garigal National Park is on the eastern border.

## History

According to the Wikipedia page for Killarney Heights the suburb originated from a boating picnic group, which it pure bullshit. Literally, the Wikipedia page paints an uncited picture of a joyous elegant scene in which men in striped jackets, with straw hats and handlebar moustaches performed choral musical numbers in boats to woo ladies in frocks, like they were at Yale University or some shit. This is most likely the fantasy/fever dream of some oldie reminiscing on shit that never happened.

What really happened is a bunch of people looked at a nice area in the bush and decided to build a town there. Then some Irishman decided to name all the streets after places in Ireland.

## Key Areas

Considering the small size of the suburb, the key areas of Killarney Heights are concentrated relatively closely together. There's the Killarney Shops, where you can find stores (mostly food stores) a playground excessively used by small children over the years, and a spot besides a restaurant where you'll always find kids playing handball, much to the dismay of storekeepers throughout the shops. The local schoolchildren also have a tendency to climb one of the walls on the side of one of the stores, which has bricks sticking out acting as perfect ledges for small hands and feet.

Throughout recent years there's always been some iteration of a pizza-restaurant. The entire area finds itself crowded only once per year for some local get-together thing.

There is an aquatic centre found on the way to Killarney Heights Primary School for young children and their bored parents. There is also a run-down tennis court, which is unsightly for all who pass it. There is a small preschool in which

That's it, other than the primary school and the high school.

## Transport

Like most places in Sydney, there's a lot of busses that pass through this area.

## Population

The population of Killarney Heights is about 4500, but it increases by 2000 people every weekday due to students coming in from other suburbs to attend the primary school and high school.

## Mentally Insane Lithuanian Couple who Hid in a Cave in the Bush

You can't make this shit up. A Lithuanian couple sought refuge in Australia, believing they were being pursued by Soviet agents. After it became clear to the government that the couple weren't entirely right in the head, the couple were to be administered to a mental hospital. The couple escaped and eventually found a cave in Garigal national park, where they hid for 20 years. And by "hid" I mean were known to exist to both a member of the Salvation Army who sent supplies to them and many of the local school children. Despite a vague local awareness of their presence, it took authorities 20 years to discover their whereabouts, at which time they were 81 and 63 years old respectively. They apparently lived like savages, wearing makeshift clothes patched material and eating berries, roots and mice.