The Second Great War for Satan's Asshole

"***Come, friends, and let us give peace a chance.***"

- The Grand Prince of Voytekia, about half an hour before threatening to destroy the Stairway to Heaven

**The Second Great War for Satans's Asshole**was a major war which marked the **Hellyear of the Second Great Calamity,** hell fuck war. The war is often considered a forerunner to the First Great War for Satan's Asshole, beginning as a continued conflict between Helicoptera and the United Skeletons, and escalating into another hell-wide war through torn and re-formed alliances, and ongoing related conflicts.

## The Grand Peace Talk

[REQUIRES INFORMATION]

[Shitting out bulletpoints based on chatlot]

\*Skeleton's banishment spell fails and the other nations reemerge from the hellsea

\*Tensions naturally start to rise and a second war looms

\*The Magnificent Grand Prince summons the nations to a peacetalk

\*Prime Don Fresco Mago opts to come to the meeting himself.

\*Prime President Longbone McAllister takes offence to the invitation but opts to send a walkman recorder to log the talks.

\*Helicoptera refuses to attend any peace talk with their mortal enemy.

\*United Skeletons suspects the talks to be a trap and also refuses to attend.

\*Ironically, the two nations the peace talks was intended to quell are now not attending, rendering the talks moot.

\*Nostlevania is unable to attend due to a timetable clash, but sends 1000 buckets of food to the meeting.

\*AtomicBombia, fearing peacetalks could harm arms sales, sends a representative and a fruit basket. The rep exploded on arrival, while the fruit basket exploded later.

\*The Wizard satanists agree to attend, but only for a short time. Harry potter (allegedly) demands plenty of food and sand-witches to be eaten/sacrificed during this short visit. In return, He offers a wheeled statue of satans face, which houses hidden goblins and randomly spews fire.

\*In a twist of irony, Voytekia demands all who have declined to attend instead do so, and all-but declares war on the Stepians and Skeletons.

\*Finding such a declaration against their skeletal allies to be offensive, the Wizards satanists promptly declare war on voytekia.

\*Smack is talked for like two weeks and many feels were hurt.

\*Ratislava takes advantage of the chaos to declare war on the clowns.

\*The Shroomish express hopes that the now inevitable conflict if over quickly.

\*and then the BBQoup happened

## The BBQoup

After the disasterous outcome of The Auction, BBQ SAUCE's leadership were forced to make the outstanding decision to withdraw from CASKET, due to public outcry at the loss of a public treasure and about three people. While this raised public spirit for BBQ to become an independant superpower, the nation's few but influential financial and trading staff, known as *the 1%*, saw it as a possible beginning for the collapse of BBQ's economy and international influence.

Seeing a chance to instate himself as leader, Spacey Iron-Sights, CEO of Private Military Corporation *ATLAS*, gathered the support of *the 1%* and other clan leaders from the shadows, and staged a coup in Whiskey Hotel, the official residence of President xXx W1nZt0n\_MkT4v1zH xXx. A brief but intense gunfight between W1nZt0n's bodyguards and Spacey's taskforce lead to W1nZt0n being driven out of the nation's capital of Occupied New York, rescued by the unexpected support of Helicopterans.

Spacey rallied the support of West BBQ's clans, rejoined CASKET, and tried to mend national relations with like-minded business states. W1nZt0n, meanwhile, was able to continue his established leadership with the Eastern clans, and had to make the difficult decision to side the free states of BBQ SAUCE with his former enemies in the Infernal Hell Army. Then came the contention between the two leaders over who had authority over BBQ Task Forces in the Kingdom of Bloxerbot, and the colonies of former Kesodonia...