The Grand Return/Transcript

## Part 1: Mission: Dya-stopia

Candle Man: Previously on Candle Man and Friends…

Whickey: (Lifts a frying pan up.) I think it’s time we re-create UCP! (Places the frying pan on the stove.)

(The grease then finally transforms into Corrupted UCP.)

Corrupted UCP: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LAIR?! (Grows two pairs of arms and throws the Spammers out of his lair, then slams the door, transitioning the scene to “The Blade of Aristocracy,” where Luis destroys UCP’s lair. Cuts to Luis holds lightsabers to Whickey’s neck. Luis pauses, then turns off both lightsabers.)

Luis: The Spammers need a leader. We are on the same side.

(Cuts to UCP climbing out of the lair’s rubble.)

Corrupted UCP: Luis and the Spammers will forever be my enemy, for I… am… THE NEW UCP!

(Corrupted UCP laughs maniacally. Finally, the scene cuts to “Lair Loops”, where the Candle Friends see the missing page in the book.)

Candle Man: So, the Spammers revived UCP. Big deal! He’s dead! What could happen now?

(Cuts to the Spammers reviving UCP. Whickey and Luis direct Candle Man’s flame onto the stove. Candle Man screams from the intense heat. Suddenly, the frying pan floats, and green light surrounds it.)

Mystic: Oh, no.

UCP: The clash of the sun has released me from my damned prison. (Floats above the others, shadowing over the Main 4.) It’s good to be back. (Grins evilly.)

(Cuts to Baghead.)

Baghead: This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!

(Cuts to UCP throwing Corrupted UCP onto the ground.)

Corrupted UCP: You have just made a very powerful enemy.

UCP: You have just made a more powerful enemy.

(Cuts to Dyaboy chopping off Whickey’s hands.)

Dyaboy: Bow to your new leader!

(The Spammers hesitate, then bow to Dyaboy.)

UCP: It’s time for Wikia to return to its former greatness.

(Cuts to the Candle Friends on the hill.)

Candle Man: Time to light it up!

(Theme song plays. The episode starts right after the events of Lair Loops. Whickey watches as another building falls, his new robotic hands twitching.)

Whickey: Well… you know, UCP, you tried to destroy Wikia but failed. We tried to also do that but also failed, but together, we will definitely succeed!

UCP: Why are you talking to me, underling?! I will only talk to the leader!

(Whickey sighs.)

UCP: So anyway… Dyaboy! Please hand me my hypno gun! I need it!

Dyaboy: I’m sorry but the Candle Friends took it! We only managed to get the dust back from them.

(Kitchen looks outside and sees that more buildings are falling.)

Kitchen: And you haven’t even touched MediaWiki yet!

Dyaboy: He has, though. Remember?

(Flashbacks to Candle Man’s War Story, where UCP is shown being pushed against MediaWiki. Cuts back to present.)

UCP: You are right, Dyaboy. And now, I will touch it again!

Luis: One slight problem there, chief. There was this prophecy stating only Satan’s intervention could destroy this town thoroughly.

UCP: I was created by Satan, you idiot!

Luis: Uh bup bup! You talked to an underling. You still did too.

UCP: (Growls.) You think this is funny?! This is war! No bag man can stop my absolute destruction of Wikia!

Dyaboy: Maybe him being alive stopped you from doing it in the first place.

UCP: Then go kill him! I don’t care!

Luis: It won’t be so easy. It still won’t too.

UCP: IT DOESN’T MATTER! JUST KILL HIM!

Luis: Update, yes, update!

UCP: What was that?

Luis: You know, a play on “Sir, yes, sir”. It still is too.

UCP: Don’t do that again.

Luis: Update, yes, update!

(He runs away.)

Dyaboy: Hold on, we need an actual plan. The only reason we failed previously is because Whickey didn’t think the plan through and jumped straight in. We need to be more clever this time.

Whickey: DON’T INSULT ME!

Dyaboy: I am the leader. I can insult you if I want.

(Whickey growls again.)

Dyaboy: Actually, maybe go help Luis. You can be useful for once.

(Whickey storms away.)

UCP: So, Dyaboy, what is this plan you speak of?

Dyaboy: We find a clever way into the castle and completely destroy MediaWiki.

UCP: Yeah. They’ll never see it coming!

(Cuts to the castle being quintuple padlocked, barricaded, boarded up, and completely sealed. Back to the Spammers.)

Dyaboy: We need to break in without causing a panic. We’re still out there, so they’ll know we’re coming.

UCP: Good point. Maybe we should try a different plan.

Dyaboy: Maybe we capture the King and Queen and threaten them to give us the key or we’ll kill ‘em.

UCP: Ah, the old ransom trick. They’ll never see it coming!

(Cuts to inside the castle. The King, Queen, and almost the entire town are there, the Candle Friends standing in the middle of the crowd and closest to the royalty.)

Candle Man: This blows! Why can’t we be out there with the police and the emergency department and Bag? WE STOP CRIMES TOO!

Mystic: Although, now that I think about it, maybe it’s better that we’re in here.

Candle Man, Shaduck, and Limefong: WHAT?!

Mystic: It’s kind of tiring fighting all the time, don’t you think? Especially with both of our worst enemies against us now.

(Chadder shivers in fear in the corner.)

Candle Man: Well, most of our worst enemies.

Limefong: Besides, we’ve been trying to lock up the Spammers for weeks, and what have we done?

Candle Man: Nnnnnnnnot lock them up?

Limefong: Exactly. Maybe it’s better if we leave these things to other people!

Candle Man: And miss out on all the action? No way!

Limefong: I still think the people trained for this should deal with it? They could get this done twice as fast!

(Cuts to the Spammers’ lair. Someone knocks on the door.)

UCP: Who is it?

Pizza delivery guy: Pizza delivery.

UCP: (To Dyaboy.) You guys ordered pizza?

Dyaboy: I dunno, maybe.

(Suddenly, orange light slices through the doors. Baghead and C0F-3 bust them open, the police behind them.)

Baghead: Sorry to spoil your fun, but this is a raid.

(They lay their eyes on the several inventions and weapons pointed at them.)

Baghead: Ah. I see. Well met.

(Cuts back to the castle.)

Candle Man: We should be out there! We killed UCP before. Why not now?

Limefong: Because now there are two UCPs and six Spammers!

Candle Man: Just a bigger challenge for us!

Limefong: Just a more dangerous situation for us.

Shaduck: Who cares? I’m with Candle Man. Let’s kick some grease butt!

Mystic: I agree!

Queen of Wikia: That will not be happening.

Candle Man: But why?

King of Wikia: It is too dangerous, so we forbid any citizen to fight!

Candle Man: Uh, remember who you’re talking to! We killed UCP!

Queen of Wikia: That’s the only good thing you’ve done for this town!

Mystic: What?!

King of Wikia: While we are very grateful for the help, you have constantly failed to imprison the Spammers, went on vacation after doing little work, beaten up defenseless citizens, caused destruction to this town you never paid for-

Shaduck: We get it, thanks.

Queen of Wikia: So you understand why we won’t let you fight?

Candle Man: Maybe but…that doesn’t mean we won’t! (Runs at the speed of light to the door and slams right into it.) Oh yeah, I forgot this was locked. Gimme the key!

Queen of Wikia: No!

Candle Man: But why?

(Rewind.)

King of Wikia: It is too dangerous, so we forbid any citizen to fight!

Candle Man: Uh, remember who you’re talking to! We killed UCP!

Queen of Wikia: That’s the-

Candle Man: Okay okay, I get it!

(Scene cuts back to UCP and the Spammers in the latters’ lair. They fire their weapons at the raiders.)

C0F-3: (To Baghead.) Did you expect this to happen?!

Baghead: Maybe in the back of my mind.

C0F-3: I think we should run now.

Baghead: Run? We’re at the doorstep of the villains! (Activates the blue blade of the lightsaber.) As long as I defend the police, we’ll get them all into custody before-

(An explosion occurs. Baghead and the rest of the group, all on the ground, look up and see a large bazooka on the shoulder of Dyaboy.)

Baghead: Okay, now we should run.

(They all run.)

Baghead: Besides, maybe people need us elsewhere.

(Cuts to Luis pounding on Baghead’s house door.)

Whickey: You’ve been knocking for five minutes. He would’ve escaped in his flying dagger by now!

Luis: Or he could just not be here.

Whickey: ...because he escaped!

Luis: Only one way to find out.

(Luis cuts an eye-level hole into the door and looks in. No one’s there.)

Whickey: Whoop de doo, he’s not home!

Luis: We don’t know that yet.

(He busts open the door. R7 is right there, and he electrocutes Whickey, who passes out.)

Luis: Well played, bucket of bolts.

(He gets electrocuted too. Back to the Candle Friends, who try their best to open the castle doors.)

Candle Man: Let me out!

King of Wikia: For the last time, you’re not getting past those doors!

Candle Man: I will do anything to protect this kingdom! I’ll die if it means UCP will too!

Queen of Wikia: And if he doesn’t?

Candle Man: We always find a way!

King of Wikia: Look, Candle Man. This isn’t one of your usual fun adventures that you always seem to have, this is a serious matter. You know what UCP did to your old town, he’d do the same to this one and the same to you.

Candle Man: So? I’ll fight and win like I did last time!

King of Wikia: This is seven times the trouble this time.

Candle Man: Well, in this room we have way more than seven of us! We have, like, a zillion people!

Queen of Wikia: We have forty-five thousand, Candle Man.

Candle Man: You’re just proving my point further!

(The king and queen dramatically sigh.)

Queen of Wikia: If we let you go on a suicide mission, will you stop arguing with us?

The Candle Friends: Yeah.

King of Wikia: What would you like your funeral music to be?

(Shaduck shows them a video. It plays “Never Gonna Make You Fly”.)

King of Wikia: Did you just chickroll the king?

Shaduck: YEP, AND I CROSS THAT OFF THE BUCKET LIST!

Candle Man: Just let us out!

(The four are about to walk out until they hear a knock on the castle door.)

King of Wikia: Hm?

UCP: (Wearing a bag over himself.) Let us in! It’s me, Bagboy!

Dyaboy: (Whispering.) Baghead.

UCP: Baghead!

Queen of Wikia: Why did Baghead say “us” if it’s only him?

UCP: Uh, COFFEE IS WITH ME!

Dyaboy: (Whispering.) C0F-3.

Kitchen: (Whispering.) He pronounces it Coffee, too!

UCP: Just let me in!

(Candle Man, Mystic, and Limefong exchange glances.)

Limefong: This is obviously a tr-

(Shaduck teleports UCP in.)

Shaduck: Finally! Hey, when did you learn to float?

UCP: It’s just a Kedi thing!

(Dyaboy comes out from behind UCP, dressed as C0F-3.)

Dyaboy: (Whispering.) Jedi.

UCP: Anyway, I need the King and Queen to come outside of the castle. We have captured the handsome UCP!

King of Wikia: Wow, really?

UCP: Yes, yes! Come with me! (Floats away.)

Queen of Wikia: Hold on, one second. (Turns to Pesron.) In case anything bad happens, here is the key to Wanda and MediaWiki’s case. Protect it with your life!

Pesron: I won’t let you down, your majesty.

Queen of Wikia: Very good. (Creates a force field bubble around the Main 4.) Now, you stay here.

Candle Man: How did you do that?!

Queen of Wikia: I casted a spell using Wanda so you won't start causing trouble again. Now, I’m going to leave with Baghead, don’t do anything.

UCP: After you, ma’am.

(Queen of Wikia and UCP walk to the door. The Queen disintegrates the handles on the door and leaves the castle.)

Candle Man: No fair! She gets to do stuff with this suspicious Baghead to see UCP whilst we’re trapped here!

(The Queen locks the door again and walks down the steps with UCP.)

Queen of Wikia: So, where is UCP?

UCP: Oh, I’ll show you the way, your majesty.

(UCP takes the lead as he and the Queen walk to a group of spiky black rocks in the shape of a pyramid.)

Queen of Wikia: Is he trapped in here?

UCP: No…(Pushes the Queen inside of the rocks.) You are!

Queen of Wikia: Why would you do such a thing?!

UCP: I have betrayed you, and now you will demand that fool to give me the key to Wanda’s case or else you shall die!

King of Wikia: (Offscreen.) What’s going on here? (Comes onscreen and sees UCP.) What the…?

UCP: Oh, hello, King!

King of Wikia: What is my wife doing in there?

UCP: Oh, nothing!

Queen of Wikia: Wait, honey! It’s a trap!

(UCP throws King into the rocks.)

UCP: Now the royals are in my trap!

Dyaboy: Good job stating the obvious.

(Baghead and C0F-3 walk up to the building.)

Baghead: Hey King, Queen, you need any help? Our mission was a fai-

(They all stare at the Baghead twins.)

King of Wikia: Wait, but…(Points his finger to UCP and to the real Baghead.)

Baghead: Hey! Who are you?

(Baghead and UCP make the same movements as if one was looking in a mirror.)

C0F-3: There’s one of me, too!

(They make the same movements as well.)

UCP: We’ve been compromised! Oh well. (Squeezes his head until the bag rips into shreds.)

Dyaboy: You could’ve just taken it off.

UCP: But I don’t have any hands.

Dyaboy: Good point.

(Baghead ignites both sides of his lightsaber.)

Baghead: Release the King and Queen!

UCP: Never!

(UCP, Dyaboy, and the rest of the Spammers present pack the royalty on a graffitied black pickup truck and speed away. Baghead and C0F-3 run up to the doors of the castle, but cannot open them.)

Baghead: LET ME IN!

Candle Man: Baghead, what’s going on out there?!

Baghead: The King and Queen have been captured!

Mystic: LET US OUT!!!

Baghead: I’m trying!

(He tries to find a way to open them. Using the Force doesn’t work, and he starts rattling the doors using any crevice he can use as leverage.)

Limefong: Baghead…

Baghead: I’m trying!

(He continues.)

Shaduck: BAGHEAD!

Baghead: Argh, forget being in the right mind!

(He reactivates his lightsaber and stabs the doors with it, carving a hole into the door. Cuts to the other side.)

Candle Man: Alright, let’s finally do something!

Limefong: No one to tell us no!

Mystic: Oh brother.

(Baghead successfully makes a large hole in the door. The Main 4 run out.)

Baghead: C0F-3, make sure no one gets in.

C0F-3: But sir, I should assist you. Five against eight are not good odds.

Baghead: Hmm, you’re right. (Calling into the castle.) CALLING ALL NEW CANDLE FRIENDS!

(From the crowd, TwoBrains, Pesron, Kellie, and Moose step out.)

Pesron: Let’s go!

TwoBrains: But Pesron, you need to guard Wanda and MediaWiki!

Pesron: This is more important. And more fun! Someone else can look after them. Who should it be...hmm….

(Candy Cat dashes up and takes Pesron’s place.)

Candy Cat: Me!

Pesron: But you’re… like… four years old…

Candy Cat: I’ll be fine.

(Dramatic music plays.)

Candy Cat: I think.

(Meanwhile, Kellie makes her way out of the crowd. Space follows her.)

Space: Kellie, mind if I come with you?

Kellie: (Turns around.) Space, it’s too dangerous. I don’t want to lose a friend out there.

Space: Oh, come on. There’s safety in numbers.

Kellie: Or more to pick off!

Space: I’m coming anyway.

Kellie: (Sighs.) Fine. Come on.

(Now completely reunited, the Candle Friends dash out of the castle. However, they stop at the sight of Space.)

Pesron: Who’s she?

Kellie: This is Space. She’s a friend.

Space: Could I come along?

Candle Man: Sure, I guess. But where do we go?

Baghead: The Spammers took the King and Queen back to their lair!

Candle Man: Oh god, we gotta get there quick! Everyone hold my hand! (Everyone holds Candle Man’s hand as he says and he runs at the speed of light to their lair.)

Mystic: Geez, Candle Man. Why not give us a warning next time you use your powers at full strength?

Candle Man: I got you to the lair, right?

Shaduck: No, this is the pizza place.

(It is indeed, leaving Candle Man to look awkward as the scene pans to the left to show a cricket chirping, only for Candle Man to crush it.)

Candle Man: Grrr. Everyone ready to get at light speed again?

Mystic: Can I have a min-

Candle Man: Great! Let’s go! (Candle Man runs at the speed of light again to the Spammers’ lair.) Now, let’s get the Queen and King back! (Is about to reach the handle but a TV screen appears and blocks his way in.) Gaah!

UCP: (On screen.) Greetings, weaklings! Don’t even try to get inside this lair, it’s not happening. What I want you to do is give me the key to Wanda. Now!

Limefong: Ha! That’s never gonna happen.

UCP: (On screen.) Sorry, I have no idea if you guys are talking or not. Lemme just…(Operates a microphone next to the Candle Friends’ mouth.) There.

Limefong: (Clears his throat.) I said “Ha! That’s never gonna happen.”

UCP: Right. I need a speaker as well. Give me a second…(Types on his computer for a few seconds.) There! Now, could you repeat that again?

(Limefong sighs.)

Candle Man: JUST LET US INTO THE LAIR ALREADY!

UCP: No chance! Give me Wanda now and I’ll let the King and Queen live in peace. Refuse and…(Holds a knife against their necks.) they die!

Candle Man: Fine. Pesron… give him the key!

Person: But… but… if I give him the key, Wikia is at risk of falling into dystopia for like the millionth time!

Shaduck: At least not as many times as Mystic has died.

(Mystic glares at Shaduck.)

Candle Man: The people who gave us Wikia are at risk of dying! We…

we have to take those chances!

Pesron: This is going to end horribly. (Reaches into his pocket and grabs the key.)

Queen of Wikia: Wait, that’s where you put the key? I told you to keep it safe, not in a place where you could easily be pickpocketed!

Person: You gave it to me less than a minute ago! What was I supposed to do?

(Queen of Wikia sighs.)

UCP: Great, now slide the key under the door.

(Pesron sighs. He bends down and slides the key under a crack in the door.)

UCP: YES! THE POWER SHALL BE MINE!

Dyaboy: Don’t get too cocky. We still gotta get back to the castle to get Wanda.

Candle Friends: Wait, what?

(UCP breaks out of the window from the top of his lair, he flies off to the Royal Palace, Dyaboy on top of him. The Candle Friends begin to chase them as the camera moves back to the Spammers’ lair.)

Kitchen: Uh, okay…I guess we’ll stay here then.

Gyux: LKndhjfuigtrekdnfh? (Subtitles: Shouldn’t we go with them as well?)

(Shaduck teleports inside and opens the door.)

Maps: Uh oh.

(The three of them run.)

Candle Man: Wait, where are Whickey and Luis?

(Cuts to Luis, who wakes up on Baghead’s couch. He looks over and sees R7-A1 looking at him.)

Luis: Ah! W-what did you do?

(R7 ignores him, looking over at Whickey, who is on the ground.)

Luis: Stupid droid!

(He uses the Force to grab his lightsaber and uses it to slice one of R7’s legs off. He takes this opportunity to escape, an unconscious Whickey in his arms.)

Whickey: Lu… Luis… that droid was a jerk.

Luis: I know. I still do too.

(Scene cuts back to the Royal Palace, where UCP and Dyaboy land. Dyaboy busts open the doors.)

Goxic: Oh no.

Candy Cat: The UCP is here! Don’t worry, I’ll protect you all!

UCP: Out of the way, pussy cat.

(UCP pushes her out of the way.)

Danny Dog: HEY!

Dewey: We have powers, too! We could beat your butt off!

UCP: Oh yeah?

Bubbles: Yeah!

UCP: Well, come get me! (Runs away to Wanda’s stand.)

Bobert: We will! But first we’ll get your partner!

Dyaboy: Wait, what?

UCP: No! (Runs to Dyaboy and gives him the key.)

Dyaboy: Huh?

UCP: (Whispering.) Go to Wanda’s case! I’ll distract these buffoons!

(The citizens of Wikia surround Dyaboy.)

Dyaboy: I can’t! They’ve crowded around me!

UCP: Then kill one of them and dash away amid the tragedy!

(Dyaboy looks at everyone.)

Dyaboy: I… I…

UCP: If you’re a leader, prove it! Kill someone! Anyone!

Dyaboy: I…

UCP: DO IT!

Dyaboy: I… can’t… do…

(Suddenly, Candy Cat is shot from behind by Wanda, soon after collapsing, still alive. UCP comes onscreen, showing he has Wanda.)

Danny Dog: CANDY!

(Danny Dog rushes to Candy Cat’s side.)

Danny Dog: We can fix this. We can…

Candy Cat: (Croaky.) Danny...

(Candy Cat crumbles into dust.)

Danny: CANDY! NOOOOO!

UCP: Did you honestly think you could stand up to my power?

Danny: I’m not backing down! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU MONSTE-

(UCP whips Danny with his tail, knocking him against the wall.)

UCP: Anyone else? No? GOOD!

(Dyaboy escapes the group. Cuts to the Candle Friends chasing the three Spammers. Candle Man looks behind him and sees that Baghead has fallen onto his knees.)

Candle Man: Baghead?

Baghead: …I…I… felt a cry in the Force, as if UCP…

TwoBrains: No.

Kellie: He couldn’t have!

Baghead: He did.

Candle Man: What? Who was…

Baghead: I don’t know how to tell you this, but… it was… Candy.

(Candle Man falls onto his knees, his eyes welling up.)

Candle Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…Candy Cat...I WILL AVENGE YOU! I PROMISE TO YOU UCP, I WILL AVENGE CANDY CAT! THAT IS MY PROMISE!

(Fades to black, then cuts to UCP on top of the Spammers lair, a timid Dyaboy at his side. Buildings are shown collapsing at a high pace. Cuts to inside the lair, where Kitchen, Maps, and Gyux sit, altering MediaWiki for their master. Back to UCP.)

UCP: This is where it gets fun, Dyaboy! We have taken what is ours, and now Wikia will pay for the theft of my property.

(He notices Dyaboy does not say anything.)

UCP: Dyaboy?

(Dyaboy’s eyes well up, watching the town get destroyed.)

UCP: You care about this place?

Dyaboy: I grew up here. I wasn’t here when your first ruling experience happened, but I understood this had to be done. But… I can’t watch this.

UCP: You’re such a baby. It’s like you said. This has to be done! Indulge yourself. Rub yourself in it. Watch as a town that caused us pain falls.

(Dyaboy says nothing. Cuts to the castle. The King and Queen have returned, as have the Candle Friends. They are all outside, Pooka somehow digging a hole. Cuts to Danny Dog and the Candle Friends among the crowd, him dig.)

Danny Dog: I still don’t believe this happened.

Moose: You have no choice.

Candle Man: This is worse than before. No one died before, let alone anyone not from here! (Eyes well up.) LET ALONE ANYONE WHO WAS A FRIEND! (Cries on Baghead’s shoulder.)

Baghead: That’s… that’s enough, bud.

Mystic: Wait, wouldn’t that mean her show is canceled or stuff like that?

Limefong: Or she’d be replaced.

Candle Man: BUT THAT SHOW WAS LIKE, MY LIFE!

Shaduck: I thought your precious Mystical was.

Candle Man: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! I HAVE WATCHED THIS SHOW SINCE I WAS LIKE, THREE AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE NEW ACTOR WHEN SHE WAS REPLACED THAT I COULDN’T STOP WATCHING IT, EVEN WHEN I TURNED TWELVE! SO I CAN’T JUST LET IT VANISH LIKE THAT!

Baghead: He’s right.

(Pooka finishes digging the hole.)

C0F-3: Danny, would you like to do the honors?

(Danny Dog steps up. Candy Cat’s ashes are in a gallon bag he is holding. He dumps them into the hole. Pans over the rest of The Candy Cat Show’s cast, who hang their heads in sadness.)

Peppa: Who’s gonna replace her?!

Shaduck: What about Ginger?

George: But he's a guy!

Suzy: I believe the next in line to replace her would be Peppa.

Peppa: What? Me having a show of my own?

Suzy: Why not? You can carry on Candy’s legacy.

Peppa: Well… maybe.

Candle Man: But it’s not the same orange cat!

Peppa: Well I might as well just make myself look like her.

Candle Man: Wait…I know! What if Greta took her place? She’d love the attention of being in her own show!

Peppa: Well, at least I don’t have to worry about business stuff… but WHO THE FLIP IS THIS GRETA?! (It echoes.)

C0F-3: Candle Man, would you like to say a few words?

Candle Man: Sure. (Steps forward.) Candy was present at the first battle against UCP. Sure, she didn’t help that much, but she was a veteran. A veteran of battle. And we need to respect that. She was an innocent bystander this time. I will not let anymore suffer the same fate she did.

Dewey: We won’t let that happen.

Goxic: ‘CAUSE WE’RE GONNA HELP!

Jackie, Harold, Rachel, and Tobias: YEAH!

Shaduck: Great! Because this scene was dragged on long enough.

Mystic: Oh god, not the fourth wall breaks again.

Shaduck: Hey, I haven’t really been doing them since our first fight with UCP.

Candle Man: ENOUGH! THIS WAS A GREAT SCENE, AND YOU RUINED IT!

(Shaduck throws an eggplant into Candle Man’s mouth.)

Shaduck: Ah, I miss those times. NOW LET’S GO WHOOP UCP’S BUTT!

C0F-3: We’re with you every step of the way.

Mr. Deen: And that’s a promise.

Heem: Definitely!

Pierre: Absolutely!

Bobert: Affirmative.

Mystic: Now this is what I’m talking about! A FULL TIME ARMY!

(Cheers erupt.)

Limefong: Hold on a second. UCP doesn’t have an army. What was he thinking?

Candle Man: Heh, you’re right! We have the upperhand now! (Lifts up the frying pan.) LET’S DO THIS! But seriously, what was he thinki-

(Cuts to inside the Spammers’ lair. The remaining Spammers have engineered a robot army.)

UCP: This is brilliant! BRILLIANT! And now a little spark of magic and…(Waves Wanda around. The robots’ eyes glow.) THEY’RE ALIVE! ALIVE! (Cackles maniacally.) Let’s go get those twerps.

(Camera pans on UCP’s evil eyes as he continues laughing. But suddenly, he stops when hears an explosion from outside the lair. Then another. And then yet another. Kitchen goes up to a window and looks outside. She sees Corrupted UCP, throwing bombs at the lair.)

UCP: Huh?

(He looks out there as well.)

UCP: What is that idiot doing?!

Corrupted UCP: THIS IS MY LAIR! ALLOW MY ENTRANCE IMMEDIATELY OR NEITHER OF US CAN HAVE IT!

Maps: What do we do?

UCP: I’ll handle this idiot. Droids, follow me into battle!

Every droid: Roger roger.

(UCP and the robots walk outside.)

UCP: Why don’t you fight me like a corrupted man?

Corrupted UCP: Very well. But one on one is the only thing that’s fair.

(He uses telekinesis to fling the robots across town.)

UCP: Deal.

(UCP uses Wanda to make the ground break around their arena, the Spammers standing at the corner at the carved arena. Cuts to the citizen army marching across town.)

King of Wikia: This is going better than I expected.

Mystic: (Spots something.) LOOK!

(The robots are shown flying towards the citizens.)

Candle Man: Oh no!

Limefong: A direct hit could kill someone!

Baghead: I’ll deal with this!

(He rushes to the front and takes out his lightsaber, activating both blades.)

Baghead: Get out of here! GO!

(He starts slicing all the robot parts as the army begins escaping.)

Candle Man: What about you?

Baghead: I trained for this for a decade. I’ll be fine!

(Only the sound of Baghead slicing parts is heard.)

Baghead: Just go!

Mystic: Alright then…

(The army flees.)

Baghead: Hm, this is pretty fun.

(Closeup on him. A lightsaber activating from behind him is heard. The camera moves to the side to reveal the person.)

Luis: Hello there, Baghead.

(The scene cuts to the Main 4 who are in an alleyway.)

Candle Man: You know what? I’m actually glad Baghead told us to run.

Shaduck: Yeah, me too.

Mystic: Must be so lucky to have a weapon during a dystopia. (Snarking.) Must be sooo nice.

Candle Man: Oh come on Mystic, you don’t always need to have a wand. Just look at me! (Lifting the frying pan up.) I wield a frying pan!

Mystic: You might find a frying pan useful, but without any wand, I feel worthless!

Ribbon: (Offscreen.) Not unless we give you one.

Candle Man: Who said that?

(Ribbon jumps onto screen, Mystix and Judy on top of one of the former’s clouds.)

Ribbon: Only I did!

Candle Man: You guys! You’re here!

Ribbon: Yes, indeed we are. I’m here to let Mystic borrow the Ribbonbon wand.

Mystic: Really? How did you know I needed it?

Ribbon: (Winking.) Just some sister-knowingness.

Shaduck: Just take it and go away.

Ribbon: Right. (Gives Mystic her wand as she jumps back on the cloud.) Good luck! (Gives the group a peace sign as the cloud flies off-screen.)

Candle Man: Well, that was quick.

Limefong: Guys? Where did everyone go?

(Everyone has disappeared.)

Candle Man: I don’t know.

Shaduck: Maybe to fight UCP?

Limefong: Uh oh.

Candle Man: Let me see. CANDLE VISION! (Candle Vision is activated. He looks toward UCP’s lair.) Hmm. I don’t see Peppa or Chadder or Dewey or anyone like that! But… (Sees the two UCPs fighting.) What the flip?

(Cuts to the UCPs fighting. Corrupted UCP attempts to punch UCP but he dodges most of his attacks.)

UCP: Is that all you got?

Corrupted UCP: It’s more than you have, grease monkey!

UCP: That’s not even a good rip!

Corrupted UCP: Well…(Pushes UCP over.) I have the upper hand! Literally!

(UCP looks confusingly at his corrupted counterpart.)

Corrupted UCP: Oh come on! That was a good joke. It only comes once!

(Crickets chirp before UCP slaps his face with his tail, acting as a facepalm.)

UCP: You’re so bad at this.

Corrupted UCP: You too!

(Corrupted UCP punches UCP and he goes down. Infuriated, UCP uses Wanda to fling Corrupted UCP into the air.)

Corrupted UCP: Give me that wand! (Charges to UCP.)

UCP: Never! (Freezes Corrupted UCP.)

(Corrupted UCP breaks out of the block of ice and knocks Wanda onto the ground.)

UCP: Hey!

(The two UCPs head for Wanda before UCP quickly grabs it and blasts Corrupted UCP back.)

UCP: Nice try!

Corrupted UCP: So that’s how this is going to be?

(Corrupted UCP uses his powers to make an army of beings.)

UCP: YOU SAID THIS WOULD BE ONE ON ONE!

Corrupted UCP: I lied.

(The beings attack UCP.)

UCP: NO! (Sends three beam waves at the army from Wanda. The blasts shatter as soon as they hit the army.) WH-WHAT!?

Corrupted UCP: I am superior in every way. You can’t beat me alone.

UCP: Oh, I can’t?

(The remaining Spammers attack Corrupted UCP’s army.)

UCP: ARMY GO BYE BYE! (Blasts the ground that the army is standing on. It crumbles to pieces and the army falls underground.)

Corrupted UCP: Army, go back together!

(More beings emerge, but the Spammers and UCP quickly decimate the army.)

UCP: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

(Suddenly, UCP is stabbed from behind. Cuts quickly to the Main 4, who gasp in shock. Back to the main scene, UCP goes down, Wanda stuck into his back. Corrupted UCP comes out from behind the dying villain.)

Corrupted UCP: I think you dropped your wand.

(He makes it go in deeper. UCP faintly groans before he stops moving completely.)

Corrupted UCP: Long live the original UCP!

(Dyaboy checks UCP’s pulse, then rolls him over.)

Dyaboy: Dead. All because he was too involved in the slaughter of beings.

(The beings surround the four Spammers and the body. Corrupted UCP hovers above the scene.)

Corrupted UCP: Serve me or die!

Dyaboy: We were going to serve you anyway!

Corrupted UCP: Wow, really? I thought you cared about your ruler.

Kitchen: You both are basically the same.

Corrupted UCP: Hey, I have arms!

Maps: And powers.

Dyaboy: DOESN’T MATTER! I’M THE LEADER, AND I SAY WE SERVE HIM!

(The faceless beings move away from the Spammers.)

Corrupted UCP: Good. Now for the power to be all mine! (Clenches Wanda. Its powers, and Wanda itself, are absorbed by Corrupted UCP and he gains another pair of eyes. They glow blue, orange, purple, and green.) Ah, now THIS is the power I’ve been wanting! Now to slay Wikia!

Jeremy: We won’t let you do this!

Dewey: Yeah, you’ll have to catch us first!

(The Side 5 [excluding Baghead] and the other citizens of Wikia charge at the main villains and their army, jumping over the cracks surrounding the villains.)

Kitchen: What the-?

(The citizens take out being after being. Meanwhile, Candle Man spots the citizens’ intervention.)

Candle Man: Uh oh.

(Back to the citizens, they fight the army hard, but the beings over power them. The citizens begin retreating, but the Side 5 [excluding Baghead], The Spooky Stars, The Lime Stars, The Rebecca Stars, and C0F-3 press on.)

Corrupted UCP: (Warping voice.) I have had enough of you.

(Corrupted UCP flings the Star groups away. Corrupted UCP then uses Wanda to throw TwoBrains, Pesron, Kellie, Moose, Space, and C0F-3 down into the circular ravine made by the late UCP. Candle Man sees this.)

Candle Man: NOOOOOOOO!

(The Main 4 tear through the street to get to the Spammers’ lair.)

Candle Man: I PROMISED NO MORE LOSS! I SWEAR, CORRUPTED UCP, YOU WILL SUFFER WORSE THAN THE FIRST TWO!

Corrupted UCP: There were two?

Candle Man: Never mind that. YOU WILL PAY!

## Part 2: Paying the Powerful Price

Corrupted UCP: Pay? HA! You underestimate my power.

Candle Man: Yeah, well, there isn’t much to underestimate about you.

Corrupted UCP: Filth. You will pay for your insolence.

Candle Man: Them too?

(Cuts to Mystic, Shaduck and Limefong coming up behind Candle Man.)

Corrupted UCP: HA! Four kids against an army? You’ll die before you throw a punch.

Candle Man: Except I’m not throwing punches. (His fists are coated with fire.) Time to light it up!

(Cuts to Baghead and Luis, both standing at a distance from each other. Baghead slices one more robot and the bombardment stops. The enemies stare at each other, both of their double bladed lightsabers drawn.)

Baghead: We meet again, my very young adversary.

Luis: For the last time.

Baghead: On the contrary, my friend. I feel we’ll both survive this civil war.

Luis: We’ll see. We still will too.

(Baghead readies his lightsaber, and Luis does the same. They run toward each other, and lock blades as they have many times before. Luis swings above Baghead’s head, but he ducks. Both use their double blade updates, but Baghead detaches the blue lightsaber from the orange one, using them as two separate lightsabers.)

Baghead: (Blocking with the blue lightsaber and attacking with the orange one.) I suppose you remember our duel in the Jedi temple. Where I unlocked the true potential of my lightsaber.

Luis: It is the Sith temple now! And only you would be so foolish as to not keep the two blades!

Baghead: A true Jedi does not need more than one good weapon by his side.

Luis: Let’s see you prove that point.

(Luis dodges a swing from Baghead’s blue lightsaber and knocks it out of his left hand. It rolls to the feet of Whickey, who has watched the beginning of the duel in total silence.)

Whickey: (Picking up the lightsaber.) I am relieved that my lightsaber was not destroyed by you two filthy sword men. Now… I believe it’s time to re-demonstrate my power.

Luis: A double-cross?

Whickey: More like a triple-cross.

(Meanwhile, Candle Man launches fireballs at Corrupted UCP.)

Corrupted UCP: Haha, that’s all you got?

Candle Man: I have four times the friends!

Corrupted UCP: No, you have three times. You only have four friends.

Candle Man: (Deadpan whisper.) One times four is four.

Corrupted UCP: You’re bringing math into this? Really?

Candle Man: Eh, I don’t care. It’s a distraction anyway.

Corrupted UCP: Huh?

(Shaduck teleports behind Corrupted UCP and climbs onto him. Corrupted UCP screams.)

Corrupted UCP: (Screaming.) GET OFF ME!

Shaduck: Haha, no.

Corrupted UCP: YOU JERK!

Candle Man: Haha! That’s what you get!

(Corrupted UCP throws Shaduck off of him, causing Shaduck to ram straight into an ordinary crate.)

Shaduck: WAAAAH! OOF! Ow!

(The crate shakes a little.)

Shaduck: Huh?

(The scene cuts back to Corrupted UCP and Candle Man.)

Corrupted UCP: Now it’s just me and you.

Candle Man: So it is.

(Candle Man launches fireballs at Corrupted UCP, but all miss due to Corrupted UCP’s telekinesis, one even coming close to hitting Shaduck but instead hitting the crate, which violently shakes.)

Corrupted UCP: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- huh?

(He notices the crate shaking for the first time. Everyone stares at it. Cuts to Baghead, who watches as the area explodes into flames.)

Baghead: NO!

Whickey: Dyaboy was wrong to cross me. UCP was wrong to use me. And you, my friend, were wrong to leave your friends.

Baghead: But I can avenge them. BY KICKING YOUR-

Voiceover Baghead: Butt!

(Baghead uses more powerful strikes against the two villains, spinning his lightsaber so he can lock blades with both adversaries. The fight keeps going, and there’s not a clear winner.)

Whickey: Give up, Baghead. We have you outnumbered two to one!

Baghead: I like those odds.

(The fight keeps going, but the scene fades to underground. TwoBrains, Kellie, Pesron, Moose, Space, and C0F-3 have managed to land in a small cavern, but they cannot escape it.)

Kellie: TwoBrains, do you have any plans that can help us escape this cave?

TwoBrains: How about Pesron and Moose punch the rocks to bits?

Pesron: We can’t. We’re still sore from the last time we tried to mess with Wikia’s crust.

TwoBrains: Ah. TwoBrain, you got any ideas?

TwoBrain: Actually, I was about to suggest the same thing.

Moose: Well that takes the phrase “two minds think alike” to a whole new level.

Space: So what can we do?

C0F-3: I’d suggest exploring these catacombs.

Space: Good move.

Kellie: As good as it can be, I guess.

(C0F-3’s eye lights up, giving them a better source of light. The six of them peer into the dark cave before them. Scene cuts to the Spammers’ lair. Shockingly, everyone survived the blast. Mystic, at the last second, conducted a shield with the Ribbonbon wand. Corrupted UCP has similarly used Wanda to make a shield for his minions.)

Candle Man: My-My-Mystical. How did you know how to use your sister’s wand?

Mystic: We all learned the same kind of magic, and I’m the only one who actually knows everything about magic.

Shaduck: Oooof course. Just let me die.

Mystic: Alright. AVADA-

(Candle Man swipes the wand from Mystic.)

Candle Man: I think I’ll hang onto this.

(Both sides terminate their shields and snarl at their adversaries.)

Candle Man: I’ve had enough of this! EAT MAGIC YOU BLUE-GRAY FREAK!

(The wand freaks out under Candle Man’s use, firing blasts all over the place.)

Candle Man: WHOA!

Mystic: I guess you didn’t learn something when Maps tried to use the Mystix Wand. The same rules apply here, Candle Man!

Candle Man: So?

(Now not paying attention, the wand fires a perfect shot at the back of Corrupted UCP’s head.)

Corrupted UCP: HEY! I WAS HAVING A SODA!

(Corrupted UCP throws his Jumpstart on the ground in anger.)

Candle Man: Oh, I guess it wants to follow my orders now.

(The wand releases a speck of energy that then explodes in Candle Man’s face.)

Mystic: (Smugly.) Or does it?

Candle Man: Oh, shut up.

(Cuts to the duel in the center of Wikia. Baghead continues to clash with his adversaries, and the duel is taken to the foot of Mt. Zacariibo.)

Whickey: (Mockingly.) Is your magic going to strengthen you, Jedi?

Baghead: I’d hope so, but… (Groans.) That darkness…

Luis: The Sith temple is affecting him! Let’s get him!

(Baghead is quickly overpowered with the impairment. Luis knocks away his lightsaber and Force-pushes him into the mountain. Baghead grunts and goes down.)

Luis: Any last words?

Baghead: I like your new hand.

Luis: INSOLENCE!

(He brings his lightsaber up for a final slice, when suddenly, the old man lands between Baghead and Luis.)

Old man: I thought I told you to do better.

(He is quick, knocking away Luis’ lightsaber as he did two episodes later. He takes up the lightsaber, and, pouring the light side of the Force into the saber, heals it and makes the blades gleam a powerful white.)

Old man: Now this is my color.

(He swings it at Whickey and Luis.)

Baghead: I thought you said you gave up the Force!

Old man: I suppose I lied.

(The old man knocks away Whickey’s lightsaber as well, the saber rolling far away and out of sight.)

Old man: Oh, well, I suppose I’ll go back to the mountain now.

Luis: HEY!

(The old man jumps out of sight.)

Baghead: (Mockingly.) “Any last words”. Heh. I’ll give you a ten second head start. How about that?

(The duo turn to each other, then run toward Corrupted UCP’s lair. Scene cuts to the lair, where Whickey and Luis jump over several cracks in the ground and rejoin their group.)

Shaduck: Baghead beat you, I take it?

Whickey: How did you know?

Limefong: It’s all over his social media.

(He holds up his phone. On it is one of Baghead’s posts, the message being “Ugh, just had to beat Luis again. Where’s C0F-3 when you need her?”, with a coffee mug emoji after it, then #Swag.)

Luis: Hmph. Well at least he can put up a fight.

Candle Man: Huh?

(Luis Force-pushes the Candle Friends far away, but they are caught by the giant army of citizens before they hit the ground.)

Shaduck: WHERE WERE YOU GUYS FIVE MINUTES AGO?!

Dewey: Uh, running away from certain death?

Shaduck: Grrr.

(Cuts to TwoBrains, Pesron, Kellie, Moose, Space, and C0F-3, who are exploring the large catacombs.)

TwoBrains: This place must have been hidden for centuries!

Pesron: How do you know?

TwoBrains: Look behind you.

(Pesron turns around, and is spooked when he sees a skeleton propped up against the wall.)

Pesron: AHH!

TwoBrains: No, behind that!

(Pesron moves the skeleton and sees a bunch of hieroglyphs.)

TwoBrains: They say: King Wikor.

Space: You mean to say we’ve stumbled upon the tomb of the first King of Wikia?

Moose: (Examining the skeleton.) And its guard, it seems.

Kellie: Can we go before his ghost haunts us for eternity?

C0F-3: My scanners don’t see any ghosts.

TwoBrains: Well let’s keep moving anyway.

(They creep away. Camera zooms in on the hieroglyphs. Cuts to Baghead, who has made it to his house to see the door open. He goes into his living room and sees R7-A1, who is still damaged.)

Baghead: Darn it, Luis! Here, let me repair you.

(Quickly, he puts R7-A1’s leg back on. He beeps and twitters in happiness.)

Baghead: You tried. Now let’s go help our friends, shall we?

(R7 beeps affirmatively.)

Baghead: Cool.

(They go outside to look at his ship, and sees it has scratches from “Rep Along With Me”.)

Baghead: Ugh. I’m gonna have to hide it before they reduce it to scrap metal.

(R7 beeps in agreement, before chirping.)

Baghead: Yeah, C0F-3 being here would be nice. But she has her own things to do, right?

(Cuts to C0F-3, who is making coffee for the group while they look for a way out.)

Space: (Offscreen, echoing.) Hey guys! I found something!

Kellie: Nice going, Space! What is it?

(Everyone runs over to Space, who has found that the catacombs lead into the Pucup Ravine.)

Space: It’s a way out and I know a shortcut to get back to the others!!

Pesron: Lead the way!

(Space spots the bridge, half of it still dangling from “Magic Bag”. She grabs on, but the rope breaks and the bridge falls into the chasm below.)

Space: I don’t know what I’m more mad about: the fact that the rope was weak, or the fact that no one’s repaired the bridge yet.

TwoBrains: So where do we go now?

C0F-3: Forward.

(A grappling hook shoots out from C0F-3’s right arm, and it grabs the other half of the bridge, and swings it so it is a bridge to the other side of the ravine and still into the catacombs.)

C0F-3: Go. The rope is strong.

(Everyone crosses, then C0F-3 uses the grappling hook to swing herself over, letting the other half of the bridge fall.)

Moose: I feel like we’re close. Let’s go.

(Cuts to the Candle Friends, who have their army back.)

Corrupted UCP: I’VE HAD ENOUGH!

(He shoots a giant blast into the Candle Friends’ neighborhood, destroying the homes of the Candle Friends, Baghead, TwoBrains, and Moose.)

Candle Man: HEY! WHAT DID THOSE HOMES DO TO YOU?!

Corrupted UCP: They existed. And if you still resist me, you will end up like them and that orange kitten.

Candle Man: Orange… that’s it!

(Meanwhile, Baghead sees a giant blast coming towards him.)

Baghead: Arr-Seven?!

(R7 beeps, and he brings the ship over.)

Baghead: Come on!

(Baghead’s ship takes off in the nick of time, watching as his home is destroyed.)

Baghead: Darn it. Well, only one thing left to do: save the Candle Friends!... again. Again. Again.

(Cuts to the Candle Friends surrounding their leader.)

Candle Man: Quick, make me mad!

Mystic: You’re so stupid, you’re brain has rented out space to your ego!

Shaduck: You’re so pathetic, you ate the lug nuts on our car!

Limefong: I can’t think of an insult!

Candle Man: DO IT!

Limefong: Here goes nothing! Uh, you’re so weak, you couldn’t save your favorite television star from death?

(This gets him mad. He transforms, bit by bit, into Lava Man. Fireball jumps by his side, and the duo lead everyone else into the final battle. Cuts to Corrupted UCP, who sees the transformation.)

Corrupted UCP: They don’t stop! THEY JUST DON’T STOP! Dyaboy, what did the candle just do?!

Dyaboy: He became a lava being, sir.

Maps: (Whispering, to Dyaboy.) UCP’s acting kind of pathetic, isn’t he? He was supposed to be big and strong but instead-

(Corrupted UCP blasts Maps with a not lethal but powerful blast, propelling her straight into UCP’s lair.)

Dyaboy: MAPS!

Corrupted UCP: Anyone who resists my raw power will be taken care of.

(Dyaboy runs over to Maps.)

Dyaboy: Maps!

Maps: I’m… I’ll be okay.

(Pause for a few seconds, and since Maps hasn’t turned to dust, Dyaboy breathes a sigh of relief, but then angrily turns to Corrupted UCP.)

Dyaboy: WHY?!

Corrupted UCP: You heard her. She called me pathetic, and I showed her otherwise. A word of advice, Mr. Leader: when the time comes, do what you must.

Dyaboy: (Angrily.) I will.

(He walks over to the side and watches with the other Spammers as Corrupted UCP blasts power at Lava Man. However, the power seeps into the lava, not affecting the target at all.)

Lava Man: YOU WILL DIE, UCP!

Corrupted UCP: IF YOU WANT ME, COME AND GET ME!

(Whickey, Luis, Kitchen, and Gyux all draw weapons, but Mystic, Shaduck, Limefong, and Fireball all disarm the villains. The army of beings also charges, but Lava Man destroys them all with a wave of lava.)

Corrupted UCP: Fine! I suppose this is the final battle!

Lava Man: The final for you!

Corrupted UCP: We’ll see.

(Mystic watches as every Star group rejoins.)

Tora: What have we missed?

Mystic: …nothing…

(Cuts to the catacomb dwellers.)

Kellie: Ugh, we’ve been walking for so long! When will we find everyone?!

(They suddenly hear loud stomping.)

TwoBrains: I THINK WE’VE FOUND THEM!

(A tune begins. Cuts to Baghead, who flies his ship across town, then cuts to Lava Man, who jumps over the cracks to join the battle in front of UCP’s lair.)

Lava Man: You will die, you evil man!

Corrupted UCP: Evil?

(Corrupted UCP starts singing.)

Corrupted UCP: Believe me, I know.

I’m evil, so?

From now there is no saying no!

I’m the bad guy?

That’s a lie!

Well, maybe it’s true

But I just love seeing you all blue!

Now it’s time for Wikia

Finally time to see a

Loss of faith in all of your people!

(Cuts to the catacomb dwellers.)

TwoBrains: Pesron, Moose, do you think you can get us out now?

Moose: TwoBrains!-

Pesron: Moose! It’s the only way.

Moose: Alright.

(They take off the bandages.)

Pesron: Ready?

Moose: Ready!

(They push up, but then the ground shakes. Cuts to Lava Man and Corrupted UCP, who notice that the ground is being pushed up all around them. It is Lava Man’s turn to sing.)

Lava Man: Now it’s time for a fight!

We have to see the light!

Corrupted UCP: You’re not worth it!

Lava Man: My flame’s lit!

(TwoBrains, Pesron, Moose, Kellie, Space, and C0F-3 crumble a big hole at the far edge of the weird arena. They climb out.)

Everyone: We’re ready! We’re ready!

Lava Man: Ready, yes that is me!

(Meanwhile, Mystic, Shaduck, Limefong, and Fireball try to get in, but they cannot. Mystic’s magic, Shaduck’s teleportation, and Limefong’s telekinesis have no effect on the wall.)

Mystic: (Singing.) We’re ready too!

Shaduck: (Singing.) We just can’t get past the wall that is new!

(Cuts to Baghead.)

Baghead: I’m somehow in this song

But I’ll be more prominent before long!

(Cuts to Lava Man and Corrupted UCP, who continue the song.)

Corrupted UCP: So, Mr. Orange, it’s just you and me!

Lava Man: I’ll be sure to make Wikia free!

Corrupted UCP: You don’t seem to be rattled.

Lava Man: I can’t falter in this final battle!

Everyone in Wikia: WE WON’T FALTER IN THIS FINAL BATTLE!

(Song ends.)

Corrupted UCP: Then you will die.

(Corrupted UCP and Lava Man charge at each other, clashing together at the center of the arena. Lava Man attempts to throw a punch. Corrupted UCP grabs his arm and spins him around, but before he can throw, Lava Man jumps off Corrupted UCP’s hand and jump-kicks his forehead. Corrupted UCP hunches back in pain and then stands up.)

Corrupted UCP: It is clear we cannot solve this with physical strength.

(Corrupted UCP forms a large ball of power in his hands and shoots it at Lava Man, who is blasted back. Lava Man gets up and unleashes a wave of lava on Corrupted UCP, but he creates a shield and repels the attack. Meanwhile, Mystic, Shaduck, and Limefong chip away at the rock. They make a small hole, which the three go into.)

Mystic, Shaduck, and Limefong: WE MADE IT!

Corrupted UCP: At the wrong time.

(Corrupted UCP uses telekinesis to knock everyone in the arena but Lava Man over.)

Lava Man: At the right time, YouSeePee.

(Lava Man charges at Corrupted UCP, but the latter blasts a huge charge at Lava Man, knocking him against the rock wall.)

Corrupted UCP: Any last words?

Lava Man: Yeah. Look up.

Corrupted UCP: Huh?

(Suddenly, Baghead’s ship busts through the rock barrier. This gives Lava Man the opportunity to slip away while Corrupted UCP is off-guard. Baghead shoots missiles at Corrupted UCP, but he dodges, and then gives a big punch straight into Lava Man’s jaw. He falls over.)

Baghead: Wow. Nice going not using the opening I gave you.

(Corrupted UCP holds lethal power in his hand, ready to kill Lava Man, but Lava Man grabs Corrupted UCP’s arm and pushes him straight into the wall. Mystic gets up.)

Mystic: (Sticking out the Ribbonbon Wand.) Drainina!

(Slowly, Corrupted UCP loses his Wanda power, and the wand drops beside him.)

Corrupted UCP: Argh! DYABOY, REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU!

(Dyaboy runs over.)

Dyaboy: I remember.

(Dyaboy grabs Wanda and points it at Lava Man’s neck. Corrupted UCP goes up behind him.)

Corrupted UCP: Yes! YES!

(But, just then, Dyaboy spins around and buries the wand into Corrupted UCP’s tail.)

Dyaboy: I think you dropped your wand.

(Corrupted UCP falls to the ground, dying, and goes unconscious. Lava Man turns back into Candle Man. He looks over at his fellow Candle Friends.)

Mystic: Do it.

(Using the flame in his hand, Candle Man is about to burn Corrupted UCP, who regains his consciousness.)

Corrupted UCP: WAIT NO! (Grabs Candle Man’s arm trying to restrain him from burning him.) GET OFF ME YOU-(Candle Man burns Corrupted UCP.) wait NO NO NO NO!

(It is shown that Corrupted UCP is slowly turning to dust while struggling to keep alive, with Candle Man joyfully staring at him.)

Corrupted UCP: (Looks at his disintegrating arms while continuing to turn to dust slowly.) Oh no… I’M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU FOR THIS! (Tries to stand up but his leg is already dust.) GAAAAH!

Candle Man: This has always been your dustiny, UCP. And you have to accept that fact. Oh, you can’t. Why? ‘Cause you’re dead!

(Unlike the last time a UCP was burned, Corrupted UCP erupts into a giant ball of flame. Dust hits the floor, and once the fire is out, Corrupted UCP is nothing more than a pile of scorched ash. Baghead grabs a fire extinguisher from his ship and puts out the small flame still burning. Silence, then everyone in Wikia cheers except for Whickey, Gyux, Kitchen, Luis, and Maps.)

Candle Man: We did it again!

Whickey: Not so fast!

Mystic: Oh, what do you snobs want?

Whickey: We won’t let you guys escape here alive, especially not (pointing at Dyaboy) that traitor! We have another explosion wired to go off, and no wand can save you now!

Mystic: Oh yeah? (Tries to make a shield, but can’t.) Story checks out.

(Whickey plants a giant bomb on the ground. Every Spammer except for Dyaboy gets a shield, and the timer on the bomb starts counting down.)

Baghead: QUICK, GET ON!

(Candle Man, Mystic, Shaduck, Limefong, Fireball, Dyaboy, TwoBrains, Pesron, Kellie, Moose, Space, and C0F-3 all grab onto the ship. The ship starts taking off with the timer at five seconds. Candle Man sees Wanda still sitting on the ground.)

Candle Man: WANDA!

Mystic: Candle Man! Let it go.

(The ship lifts off. Candle Man is the only one that watches as the bomb goes off, the entire arena and everything on it [except for the shielded villains and Corrupted UCP’s dust] explodes in a fiery ball of flame.)

C0F-3: Nice to see you again, sir.

Baghead: You too. I expect to hear what you went through tonight.

Candle Man: But Baghead, what about all the damage?

Baghead: Oh that? I can just do this.

(Reaching out into the Force, he seals every crack in the ground and every building outside of the Candle Friends’ neighborhood.)

Candle Man: Okay, cool. Now do our neighborhood.

Baghead: Nah, I’m good.

(Everyone on board, regardless of whether or not they live in that neighborhood, look angrily at Baghead. Fades to the castle, where the main 4 and the Wikia Royalty look at Wanda’s vacant case. MediaWiki, however, has been rescued from the Spammers’ lair.)

Candle Man: I am ever so sorry we wouldn’t save your wand, your highness.

Queen of Wikia: You should be. Now what can we use to update MediaWiki?

Shaduck: I know! How about My-

Mystic: Can’t you act serious for one second? Geez!

Shaduck: Sorry.

King of Wikia: That doesn’t answer our question? What can we use?

(Suddenly, the old man and Baghead run into the castle.)

Baghead: THIS!

(Baghead runs over and slaps Luis’ former lightsaber on the table.)

Queen: A lightsaber?

Baghead: With removed Kyber crystals.

King: But how does it work?

Old man: It doesn’t.

Baghead: Not yet! (Holds up a Wyker crystal.) Mystic, can you enchant this crystal?

Mystic: Sure! I gotta give this back to Ribbon soon anyway. Hopefully, I can get a new wand for myself. But in the meantime, Enchantus!

(The Ribbonbon Wand is enhanced, as Mystic gets a sheet of paper and writes a note down on it.)

King: Uh…

Mystic: Don’t judge a Galaxia Omegan by how dim the star is. (Sticks the note on the wand, which now has a bronze hue.)

Shaduck: Look!

(The crystal, formerly clear, is enchanted with a green gleam. Baghead puts it on the lightsaber, and the whole hilt is given a green gleam as well. MediaWiki rises into the air, and the two merge.)

Baghead: Ladies and gentlemen, your new update system.

(Shows the new wand.)

Baghead: Cancat.

Shaduck: Uh, what? Ginger’s not in a can.

Baghead: No, I meant Cancat as in the name of the MediaWiki and lightsaber hybrid. As a tribute to Candy Cat.

Candle Man: We should call it a Mediasaber.

Mystic: Yeah. I mean, it fits both lightsabers and MediaWiki, and is not about cans, cats, and all that other stuff that name suggests.

Shaduck: Yeah, sure. Anything with me not in the name.

Limefong: I can live with that.

Candle Man: Good, so we are all in agreement.

Baghead: But what about-

Mystic: I guess we are. Even with the loss of Wanda and Candy Cat, both will live on in spirit.

Candle Man: Well, the former got replaced and the latter… well, reruns?

Limefong: I have to agree on Mystic’s statement. Both will.

Candle Man: Besides, defeating UCP was more important… Crud, defeating him the first time was tiresome, the second time was exhausting!

Shaduck: Not as exhausting as Mystic is.

Mystic: You asked for it.

(Mystic pulls out a pie and slams it in Shaduck’s face.)

Mystic: Just like old times.

(The scene fades to show Dyaboy looking at the stars, his back facing the camera. The Spammers arrive behind him, Whickey not there.)

Luis: There you are! We’ve been looking for you!

Gyux: fbhhjchach! (Subtitles: Yeah!)

Dyaboy: Where’s Whickey?

Kitchen: He didn’t come. He said you weren’t a Spammer anymore.

Dyaboy: He was right. You guys can go home without me. Call me a Spammer of the past.

Luis: WHAT?! But why?! You brought so much!

Maps: And we have our lair back!

Dyaboy: Yes, but I now know that being a Spammer isn’t as fun as I thought. Besides, I feel like that with me no longer a Spammer, I get to be the true person that I am.

Maps: But Dyabo-

Dyaboy: I must start my new life. I feel the wind calling for me.

Maps: PLEASE NO! Don't go away Dyab-

Dyaboy: Shush. Just go and leave me. And think about all the horrible things you've done.

(The rest of the Spammers start trudging back to their lair. They can be heard mumbling about Dyaboy's redemption.)

Luis: I can't believe he just betrayed us like that.

Maps: My flipping god, was he secretly planning to do this for two years?

Gyux: FJSKCKFJSKVJ! (Subtitles: At least it can't get any worse…)

(It starts raining.)

Kitchen: Please tell me it wasn't anything about things not getting worse… (It starts raining even harder. At one point it shows lightning.) FLIP!

(Whickey emerges from the lair with an umbrella.)

Whickey: Are you done barking up that tree?

Luis: Yes.

Whickey: Good. Since I’m the leader again, I took it upon myself to make a new call, one that would benefit our loss.

Kitchen: And what’s that?

Whickey: You’ll see.

(They go inside. A flash of lightning, then cuts to the TV Friends and Starry groups.)

Dewey: It’s always worse around the second time.

Bubbles: You guys did this before?

Jeremy: Yup!

Danny: And now the entire town is destroyed!

George: But why?

Suzy: Because YouSeePee is stupid!

George: But why? Why did he destroy the town? Why does he hate it?

Peppa: Oh. I’ve never thought about that before.

Jeremy: Maybe he has a tragic backstory, you never know!

Danny: Well, whatever. I’m glad that piece of grease is gone for good, since he killed my true love. There was no one like her. Now, if you don’t mind I’m gonna go to my wrecked home and eat some depressed cereal whilst watching The Candy Cat Show. (Walks away.)

Dewey: Mood. Wait, what time is it?

(Scene cuts to the Wilson family.)

Harold: I’m beginning to regret coming to Wikia!

Jackie: It’s danger, after danger, after a dangerous moment! And it all seems to be caused by that group your boyfriend is in!

Rachel: But that’s what always happens to superheroes, the villains either go for the town or go for them.

Harold: But those people coming here is what’s bringing all these villains!

Rachel: Well, I dunno. The Spammers seem to have a thing for the Candle Friends but I feel like they’d wreck the town if they felt like it. They did intoxicate the whole oxygen supply we had.

Jackie: Don’t you think that was because of the candle?

Rachel: No, I think it was the impact of evil.

Harold: Well, my point still stands. Some Wikians have the impact of evil.

Rachel: Every town has that!

Jackie: Yes, but not town-threatening.

Rachel: Trust me, there’s probably other places that have town-threatening situations.

Harold: So you’re saying you think that no place is completely safe?

Rachel: Nope.

Jackie: Not even a little less severity?

Rachel: Nuh-uh.

(Harold and Jackie scoff.)

Harold: You have a lot to learn about the world, Rachel…but since you seem to really like this place I guess we can stay.

(The two walk away, Rachel stares down at the ground.)

Rachel: Not like I wouldn’t let you take me.

(Scene cuts to The Side 5 [excluding Baghead] and Space.)

Moose: Well...that was definitely a workout.

Pesron: Yeah, one we definitely did not need.

Kellie: Not again.

Space: Yeesh, you guys have done this before?

Moose: I heard that they have.

TwoBrains: It was terrible.

Pesron: Couldn’t agree more.

Kellie: It’s almost as if peace can never come for us.

Moose: Well, at least we’ll always be there for each other to help in battle!

Pesron: Yeah, even if we do the jobs way better than the Candle Friends.

TwoBrains: And we’re not even as powerful as them! In both senses.

Space: Let’s not throw them under the bus here, they’re doing their best. Wasn’t it them who recruited you because they knew you would help and do good? And it was them who filled this place with more people? And it was them who found out Wanda’s secrets?

Pesron: But Baghead’s saved their butts multiple times and they still get all the credit.

Space: Then don’t rely on doing something for them to get recognition. If you want to be known as true heroes, maybe rival against them! But just not in a Spammy way.

Moose: Hmm, I get what you mean.

Space: Then show them!

TwoBrains: Eh, not now. I’m too tired.

Pesron: I agree.

Kellie: Eeeexhuasted.

TwoBrains: TwoBrain, when do you think that we’ll do what Space just said?

TwoBrain: I’d say around another season or so.

TwoBrains: Perfect. I think I can recover by then.

(Cuts to Baghead, who is on top of Mt. Zacariibo with the old man. They are staring up at the Sith temple. Baghead quivers a bit.)

Baghead: Ready?

Old man: Ready.

(Using the Force, they deconstruct the temple and remove all of the darkness from it. They reconstruct it into what it used to be, and when it is fully reconstructed, the storm stops, and the sun comes out. The old man grabs an acoustic guitar from its resting place to the side and plays a small rhythm on it. Fades over the town as he continues his song. When all is well, it cuts back to the duo.)

Baghead: Thanks for all of your help. I suppose I’ll never see you again.

Old man: That’s all right. I only need the Force by my side for the rest of my life.

Baghead: Well, see ya, Master Marchark.

(The old man retreats into the rocky peak of the mountain, and Baghead walks back to his ship, which is sitting close to Baghead. He gets in and takes off en route to his destroyed house. Cuts finally to the Candle Friends, who are walking back home.)

Shaduck: Was that intense, or what?

Mystic: I feel like this was more of a personal battle between the Spammers than an adventure for the Candle Friends.

Limefong: That doesn’t matter. What matters is UCP is gone for good now.

Candle Man: How do you know?

Limefong: The only people who wanted to revive him killed him.

Candle Man: Good point.

(Suddenly, the white fur on Limefong’s paw spreads as he yelps.)

Limefong: Ugh, this weird white infection has been bugging me ever since that potion was spilt on me!

Candle Man: What even was it again?

Limefong: Uh…

Mystic: Wasn’t it a truth serum and when you tried to snap him out of his trance, the residue of the potion on Candle Man’s shoulder shocked you?

Shaduck: Uh, oddly specific. Don’t you think?

Mystic: I have a find for remembering magic stuff.

(The white on Limefong’s fur begins to spread, it goes to his face.)

Candle Man: Oh god, it’s getting way worse!

Shaduck: Huh, the moon looks pretty.

Candle Man: Not now!

Mystic: Oh yeah, first time I agree with you. It’s a full moon!

Candle Man: What? Mystic, you too?

Shaduck: For some reason it feels like I haven’t seen one in ages.

Candle Man: Friend in agony here?

Limefong: HEEEEELP!

Shaduck: Oh, shoot! What do we do?

Candle Man: We gotta get him to the hospital! (Tries to pick up Limefong but he scratches Candle Man with sharpened claws.) Huh?

Mystic: I think I see the relation here…

Candle Man: What do you mean?

Shaduck: The full moon and a dog!

Candle Man: Wait, do you mean, you think Limefong is turning into a w-

(Limefong tail turns ragged, his ears twitch up and have pointy ends, his nose stretches out and his hair turns into three green triangles.)

Transformed Limefong: I am a werewolf?

Shaduck: Uh, you don’t look like one…

Candle Man: Oh, maybe it’s an alternative form! Like what me and Shaduck have!

Transformed Limefong: Like Lava Man and Sheagle?

Shaduck: Yeah!

Mystic: What about my true form?

Shaduck: Shush, you aren’t a part of this conversation.

Candle Man: Come on, new Limey! Try out some of your powers.

Transformed Limefong: Uh, ok then! (Shoots out some emeralds from his paws. One pierces Candle Man’s forehead slightly and he starts revealing some of his secrets in a robotic tone.)

Candle Man: I kicked Mystic off the bed once to snuggle more with my Teddy Mouse.

(The transformed Limefong and Shaduck burst out laughing. Mystic, clearly embarrassed, blushes.)

Mystic: You said Luna dragged me off the bed so she could have Teddy Mouse! But it looks like it was you who wanted Teddy Mouse!

Candle Man: (The emerald falls off his head and shatters.) No, no! I swear it was Luna!

Mystic: Then what was all that about then?

Candle Man: It must be lying emeralds!

Transformed Limefong: Oh yeah? Why don’t we ask Teddy Mouse? (Grabs Teddy Mouse and puts an emerald in his head.)

Teddy Mouse: Yep, Candle Man kicked off Mystic off so he could strangle me in his sleep!

Transformed Limefong: That’s all I needed to hear!

Candle Man: Why did you tell him?!

Mystic: More importantly, how is he talking?

Transformed Limefong: But even more importantly, what should I name this alter-ego?

Shaduck: Well, it may sound generic but since you shoot emeralds, how about Emeraldfong?

Transformed Limefong: I….

Emeraldfong: Love it!

Candle Man: Woo hoo!

Mystic: We should get home now.

(Emeraldfong turns back into Limefong and the Main 4 walk home.)

Candle Man: (Mumbling as he walks back.) For snitching, Mr. Mouse, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.

Mystic: That’s good to hear-

Shaduck: Guess I have to bring in the old “PG” joke.

Teddy Mouse: But what couch am I sleeping on?

Candle Man: What do you mean?

(Teddy Mouse points to the wrecked house.)

Shaduck: So, what now…

(There’s a brief silence and the wind blows by. Candle Man picks up a hammer and transforms into Lava Man.)

Lava Man: Time to lava it up!

(The rest of the Main 4 transform into their alternative forms, Candle Man’s hammer glows a golden colour and the season finale ends, thus concluding Season 1.)