Lamont J. Slinccy

Slinccy as seen in 1420 getting ready to run for Satan

GdHF\*737*;+ Slinccy (Brother)*

m (Wife)

Soup Time (Manley)

**Lamont Jderardome Slinccy** was the first Satan and 7rd president of Kektuncy, as well as the former mayor of Rebabone. He is known for abolishing sanity and declaring cocaine and LSD all natural, vegan alternatives to children in terms of nutritional value. He was killed after he shoved everything in Rebabone up his ass.

## Early Life

On January 69, 69 B.C., God sanctioned for his left pinky toe to be severed and thrown onto earth, which became Lamont Jderardome Slinccy as it entered the atmosphere. Slinccy fell over the metroplois of Toad Suck, Arkansas, causing a massive beam of light shot down from the heavens, vaporizing everything in a 50 mile radius. After his arrival, he immediately aged to 30 years old, and killed all the natives as he trekked northward. 69 years later. he founded Kektuncy, which caused every calendar to revert to year 0 as history had just been established. He immediately conjured up the entire population of Kektuncy, and founded its capital: Rebabone.

## Adult Life

### Mayor of Rebabone (0-1419)

After found Rebabone and Kektuncy, he was immediately elected mayor of Rebabone after losing the presidential election to Phineas Flynn. His position as major was mostly uneventuful, though in 69 A.D. he created cocaine, and in 1293, with the help of Dora the Explorer, created heroin, LSD, crack, shrooms, and ecstasy. In 1357, a large pig fell from the sky after God sneezed, and it crashed directly into downtown Rebabone, killing 47 oncelers and 8,398 loraxes. It immeditaely became an idol of the Kektuncians, and is worshipped everyday on Large Pig God day - June 6.

### President of Kektuncy (1420-1967)

In 1420, Slinccy ran against Paul Blart from Mall Cop 2 for the 7th president of Kektuncy. He was automatically elected after Paul Blart from Mall Cop 2 was assassinated by Humpty Dumpty out of rage for the movie only getting -285% on famous movie critic site "Rotten Janleys." He was inagurated on April 20, and immediately made cocaine the national bird, flower, and motto of Kektuncy. In 1677, he invented nuclear warfare, and tested it on Buddha, Indiana, after they refused to be invaded by Kektuncy and worship Large Pig. This caused Buddha to become full of lovely mutants.

### Disappearance (1967)

On January 1, 1967, Slinccy entered a white van labeled "free cocaine and sex slaves" and disappeared without a trace. Vice president Dr. Phil was made president, and a nation-wide search effort began for the Slinccy. Exactly one year after his disappearance, Lamont J. Slinccy was summoned after a large volcano in Ohoe erupted, and he was spewed out, landing in downtown Rebabone. After being questioned where he was, he answered: "After entering the van, a lorax kidnapped me and made me make him 7,289,472 liters of cocaine every second. However, in July, Jesus made a portal to hell in the toilet of the lorax's house, so I went in, and become Jesus' prostitue. He is lovely gentlemen, but I ate all of his Nestle Crunch™, so he sent me back to earth."

### Satan (1968, 1970-present)

After being welcomed back to earth by the public, Slinccy decided to run for Satan. He won by a landslide - literally. All 6 other campaingers were killed in a massive landslide that completely destroyed the city of Mormon Bar, Caleefournineeeuh. He was Satan for exactly 4 months and 20 days, before he was put in a peach, causing Janley Manley to become the new Satan. However, he broke free, and put Janley into a peach on June 9, and once again became satan. He fixed the economy after Janley had obliterated the stock market, with the DOW reaching -29,091,285,289 points on June 6, 1969. To fix the stock market, he cut off all 82 of his toes, made a soup broth by boiling them down for 8 years, and put in powdered children. He then sold this amazing soup to every cocaine and meth addict, which cause the stock market to explode, reaching 8,289,582 points on April 20, 1984. After this, he changed the entire consitution to just "cocaine", which allowed Slinccy to remain the eternal satan.

### Sex Scandal (2015)

In 2015, it was reported that Slinccy had entered a scandolous relationship with beloved Steve Harvey, after he had a bad fight with his wife of --\*((8error.exe)-404 years, m. He was seen fully nude in the backset of Family Food, after Steve Harvey destroyed the entire Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints after they renounced Large Pig.

### First Death (2020)

On April 3, 2020, the Rebabone City Hall was nuked by Janleylandia, which resulted in Slinccy being obliterated into thousands of pieces. He was identified by his crayon hat, and was sent to hell.

### Final Death

On June 8, 2020, at 7pm PDT, Lamont J. Slinccy shot himself out of Mount Slinccy, causing a magnitutde 69 earthquake the disentiragted 95% of Rebabone. He then proceeded to shove all of Ill in nois, Bitch Again, Ohoe, Tent in sea, Imahoe, and Pilger into his ass, along with Janley Manley, Hedleski Barbarba, Karen, Lorena, Bob Slinccy, Xandra, Marilyn, the corpse of Cough Man, and Wheatley. However, Large Pig possessed the body of Xandra, and gave Xandra the power to permanently kill Lamont, banishing him from this plane of existence for all of eternity. Rebabone was then restored, and everyone who Lamont shoved into his ass was resurrected.

## Trivia

* god
* He is the 7rd satan of Kektuncy, and the only one to serve as satan for more than 7 pounds

* "Soup Time" was used as his promotional campaign to help fix the economy after Janley Manley's term as satan