Freezerburnt

***Freezerburnt*** is the third episode of *The Alan 10 Skits*.

## Plot

*[Alan reached into the freezer and got out a tub of pistachio ice cream. He got out the ice cream scooper and attempted to get some out, only for it to be too frozen to get any.]*

Alan: Hm...

*[Alan transformed into Diamondhead and turned his hand into a scoop, though once again failed at getting ice cream out. He groaned and became Eatle, attempting to bite down on the ice cream to make it work, which also failed. He thought for a moment before getting an idea. He pressed the Simplicitrix and became Walradiance, a walrus-like alien with tan skin and a black and red jumpsuit. His tusks glowed red before he sunk them into the ice cream, finally breaking through. He chuckled, only for the ice cream to catch on fire, causing him to let out sad walrus noises.]*

### The Alan 10 Dating Sim

*[You find yourself at a small table with a white tablecloth, two plates, two wine glasses, both red and white wine, and a dim candle. As if it was on a conveyer belt, a chair in which Alexis sat slid to the other side of the table from you.]*

Alexis: Hi, Alexis Dwyer. Succubus, feed on sex, basically you're going to be pleased all the time. *[pauses, gets a confused look on her face]* W-What? No, I don't have a relative named Andy. Why does everyone keep saying that?

*[Alexis' chair slid offscreen as Chloe's slid into her place.]*

Chloe: Chloe Nietzsche, total badass in an indestructible Deadpool suit. Totally won't leave you for some manipulative vampire or anything like that. *[becomes annoyed]* What? I said I *won't* leave you for a manipulative vampire!

*[Chloe followed suit with Alexis as she was replaced with Pride.]*

Pride: ...Why am I here again? *[pauses]* Ohh, I get to talk about *me*? Good, good. Pride. The best Ectonurite in essentially every way. Probably better than you, too.

*[Pride slid to the side some to make room for Chloe and Alexis returning. You look at the three options before you, then you reach your hand out and pick Pride, confusing and offending the other two.]*

Pride: Oh, perfect choice. Say...

*[Pride grew his tentacles out of his chest, Alexis and Chloe staring in shock.]*

Pride: You wouldn't happen to be into tentacles, would you?

### Manic Static

*[Mason was seen hanging upside down from the ceiling, a web keeping him up and his eyes closed as he was seemingly napping while suspended in air. Devin's tentacle was seen getting closer to his head, generating a low amount of static, causing Mason's hair to stand up on edge.]*

Mason: Huh?

*[Mason's eyes opened just as Devin's tentacle pulled away. He shrugged it off before closing his eyes. Devin reached to his side, causing more hair to stand on end. Devin snickered before Mason opened his eyes again, looking around suspiciously. Mason closed his eyes again, only for Devin to reach about a cenitmeter away before zapping him, causing Mason to scream while falling to the ground. He scowled at the laughing Devin before his fur had a delayed reaction to the shock, only just now standing on end and causing him to appear bloated. Devin stopped laughing before letting out a gutteral guffaw, causing an annoyed Mason to tackle him.]*

### You Get What You Fucking Deserve

*[A closed door with a light behind it was seen. A toilet could be heard flushing before the door opened, revealing real life Alan. She turned to her right to head to the kitchen but stopped dead in her tracks, eyes widened with surprise as she saw character Alan. She stepped forward some, hesitant.]*

Real Alan: Oh. Hey, man.

Alan: Don't "hey, man" me, bitch!

Real Alan: Wh-What's wrong?

Alan: What's ***wrong?*** *[smacks Real Alan with the Simplicitrix hand]* That's for destroying the Simplicitrix! *[smacks again]* That's for sending me down an arc of PTSD, depression, and anxiety! *[smacks]* That's for giving me mood swings that resulted in me killing everyone! *[smacks]* That's for giving me a new Simplicitrix that's too difficult to hide! *[smacks]* That's for being a cunt that can't properly help their friends when they need it!

*[Character Alan smacked Real Alan who was now on the ground from the amount of being smacked by a metal gauntlet.]*

Real Alan: What was the last one for?!

Alan: That one was for not washing your hands! There's a pandemic going on!

*[Character Alan acitvated the Stabilized Simplicitrix, becoming 4D2 before leaving. Real Alan tried to get up, but fell back to the ground, stunned.]*

## Characters

* Alan Nomaly
* Alexis Dwyer
* Chloe Nietzsche
* Devin Lorenzo
* Mason Babadzhanov
* Pride
* Alanomaly

## Aliens Used

* Diamondhead *(cameo)*
* Eatle *(cameo)*
* Walradiance *(debut, cameo)*
* 4D2 *(2x, first time offscreen)*

## Allusions

* Alexis makes reference to Andy Dwyer, the *Parks & Recreation* character in which her name comes from.

## Trivia

* This episode was originally titled *Freezerburn*, but it was changed so as to not be confused with the alien of the same name.