Chapter 111: My Love For Her

**My Love For Her** is the one-hundred-and-eleventh Chapter of *Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu*.

## Summary

Still beneath the Torii gates, Ichikawa recalls how he once thought of himself as someone special, but that the truth was that he didn't want to see what a weak and vapid person he was, and closed his eyes to that truth. As he wipes his eyes, their discussion is interrupted by Andou, who comes running down the path towards them, singing a song about marriage. As he grabs Yamada's arm, he concludes that he's nothing special, and that his life is ordinary. Andou, still running, with Hanzawa now behind her, asks if they were holding hands, and they spot a couple doing just that at the end of the gates, obscured by the light. When they get close, though, they realize that it's just Kanzaki and Hara. Ichikawa continues his thoughts, considering how even those ordinary things have been special to him, and that it's thanks to Yamada that he was able to be shaped into who he is now. If that's how it is, he concludes, he wants to be a little part of the special someone who is Yamada Anna. He tells her to go to her audition, saying that if it's tomorrow, she should still be able to make it. She agrees, and he begins walking off, hoping to escape talking about his confession, and when she tries to stop him, he adds that she will always be Yamada before leaving. Ichikawa makes it back to the gates, now finding most of the class enacting an overdone celebration for Kanzaki and Hara, with Andou trying to call it off. Moe asks what's wrong, saying that they're a couple. Andou replies that Hara's from a different class, so it doesn't count, which Serina calls discrimination. Hara, however, sternly tells her off, demanding that she stop doing this kind of stuff, as it only causes awkward situations. Andou meekly agrees, while Ichikawa considers Hara a strong person.

That night, Ichikawa is pulling on his school shirt while asking himself if he actually just confessed to Yamada. As he goes downstairs for the evening meal, he ruminates on the events of the day, considering how he'll have plenty of time to think about it when he's back in Tokyo tomorrow. As he gets his tray of food, he considers how Yamada must also have her mind on her audition as well, but unexpectedly runs into her sitting at the table, munching on a bowl of rice. Chi reprimands her, saying that she doesn't need to eat so much if she has an audition the next day, which she agrees is right. Moe informs Ichikawa that Yamada is leaving first thing in the morning for work, which he acknowledges while trying to play things cool. Hanzawa says sadly that she wanted to pick out souvenirs with Yamada tomorrow, while Serina comments on how happy Yamada seems. She laughs it off, glancing Ichikawa's direction, to which he internally berates her. As the others finish their meals and leave, he does the same, then leaves.

In the hallway, after their baths, Yamada and Ichikawa are talking to one another. She tells him that she will leave at 7AM tomorrow morning for her audition, and explains all the hoops she had to go through to get permission for this special treatment. He calls this a mess, and quickly tries to end the discussion, saying goodnight, and turning away. She grabs him by the arm, though, and begins trying to talk to him, but gets flustered and instead grabs the towel on his still-wet head and ruffles his hair in frustration. At that moment, though, Moriya-sensei walks up behind them and suddenly tells Yamada to get in her room, mistaking Ichikawa for Chi, and pushing them both inside the girl's room, with everyone busy with various activities. Suddenly, Yamada grabs Ichikawa and throws him underneath the covers of her futon, with him being too shocked to react.