Eric Gun AJHQ

Whore.

### Relatives

Merriam S. (EX-Husband), Edward Gun (son), Leonardo Akuma (ex-heartbird), Douglass Carrey current-heartbird (UNFORTUNATELY)

## Biographical information

### Marital status

DIVORCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

## Physical description

### Gender

Male(freak) (bimbo) (he/thou/deity/fury/lust/god/sex)

### Height

8'3" he has severe back problems though don't forget it

### Eye color

Furby

HI IF YOU'RE READING THIS THIS PAGE IS INCREDIBLY OUTDATED PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANY INFO AS FACT I'M REWRITING IT ON THE MIRAHEZE ONE OKAY BYE

> "*Who am I? When did I get to this office? Everyone calls me Eric but I remember nothing from before the 6th of June..*"
> ― Eric, after the 6th of June, worst part of the original blog this isn't even canonical Please fucking help
>
>

Eric Gun AJHQ, or more commonly known as just Eric, is one of the most well known employees in all of AJHQ. He is introduced in the very first post on the blog, implying furthermore that he is the account's in-universe creator. He appears to have a very high position in AJHQ, alongside serving as their primary PR manager, and is beloved by The Boss, having been made employee of the month several times and even going so far to be described as the company's "favorite child". However, opinion of him seems to have shifted after... well. Everything, Jammer!

## Appearance

Eric is a robot (specifically a lovecube). He has pale metal "skin" and blonde, swoopy plastic barbie doll hair, alongside two differently shaded blue hairclips on the side. He has blue computer screen like eyes (vaguely similar to that of 2012 Furby) and a permanent smile with teeth of the same hue. On the sides of his mouth, there are two light (vaguely) aqua bolts, primarily appearing as some attempt at rosy cheeks.

He wears a dark navy colored suit with a white candle pin attached, alongside a blue tie and even paler blue undershirt. His pants remain similar to that of his suit, donning even darker navy slacks and light grey-ish (surprise surprise) blue heeled shoes. Finally, he has a silver ring on his left hand.

Eric is stated to have many various abnormal or "robotic" features. In example, he is notorious for being super fucking lanky, seeing as he's approximately 8 ft and 3 inches tall. Fortunately/Unfortunately, his height seems to be a biiit lessened overall, seeing that he has particularly poor posture, especially from Sexybirds and forwards. At one point, he is described as being able to extend his arms frighteningly long, although this has never been depicted before, perhaps due to the attributes resemblance to a.... certain someone. He can also presumably survive bullets, never sleeps, and has "a powerful punch that can knock someone out", whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.

During his rampage, he is frequently covered in blood, and wears "prizes" he's picked off from his victims. These include Larry's tie, Normal Human's bow, Robin's glasses and Andrew's tooth, which is stabbed straight through his right hand. Feathers also frequently come from his mouth, due to his pre-established heartbird at the time, Leonardo. Don't worry, Douglass doesn't shed *as* much.

## Known Personality

Eric is your average, upbeat, hardworking man. He's an upstanding citizen; his job is always done on time and done right! His superiors like him, those below him he treats with respect and dignity. A kind soul with no evil in his heart, Eric tries his best to be a good businessman. He can be overexcited at times, but generally keeps a positive attitude and happy spirit. He holds a strong loyalty to his work, his efforts, and, of course, his lovely boss. The best employees are ones who care, after all! Eric certainly cares.

No, he does. Really. He definitely does. You know, Jammer, it's not good to go poking your nose into other people's business. Maybe you should leave this topic alone, huh? Go somewhere else. You know all you need to about Eric! How about you get back to work and meet some of the other employees, hm? :)

Eric is not the man he wants to be. Burdened by hyper-perfectionism and an addiction to keeping up appearances, Eric will do just about anything to make others believe he is your average, everyday polite salesman with a good (yet mildly unsure) heart. None of these things describe who he actually is, and his attempts to appear innocent are so blatantly artificial that virtually no one *believes* his claims of blissful uninvolvement except for his superiors, and even then, they trust him conditionally. Those who are too unassuming of Eric get a lot more than what they bargained for. He's a narcissist and all-around asshole, but he won't be snapping unless he has a reason to.

Such a reason can be found during the events of the Sexyman Massacre, wherein Eric went on a killing spree in an attempt to eliminate anyone who opposed his dream of becoming *the* Tumblr Sexyman of Locus. His need to be seen as physically attractive (to a point of being more attractive than anyone else) is strong and incredibly powerful when he needs it to be.

## Lore

### Pre-Locus

What caused Eric to be the way he is remains a mystery. Even the most omniscient and ethereal of the gods do not know. If you saw the old version of this section, then you didn't.

## Relationships

### Leonardo

Long ago, Eric and Leonardo were dating. Though they were once in a (what can come close to) happy relationship, all of that was utterly demolished by the killing of Bigfoot. That isn't to say it was perfect, they fought constantly and only seemed to enjoy each other's presence when it came to murder, sex, and literally nothing else. After splitting up, Eric seems to want nothing to do with Leonardo, probably just to uphold his reputation and innocence.

### Merriam

In a similar vein to his relationship with Leonardo, Eric's once romantic relationship with Merriam crashed and burned. They were married for roughly 8 years, SOMEHOW, and while it started off okay-ish, the Honeymoon period would not last forever. Basically, they're divorced. You already know that. Neither of them are even remotely on good terms with each other, and even before the divorce, they were generally very distant and conflicting.

### Edward

Even though Eddie admires his father very greatly, Eric rarely has the time to acknowledge his existence in any memorable way. Eric *does* take some sort of pride in Eddie's existence (and violent tendencies), but it's more of a way of seeing Eddie as an extension of his own being and subsequently valuing him based on that. Does Eric love his son? Maybe, but not in the way any normal parent loves their kid. Tough shit in Animal Jam.

### Jacke

they haven't interacted in the blog yet this is a placeholder for when they do :)

### Douglass

wait what even IS their dynamic. like wtf is going on between them. i assume they have some level of acquaintanceship given the fact douglass is eric's heartbird but i can't say anyone has even once described how they interact w each other

### National Geographic

Eric and Nat may have canonically had sex, but that does NOT mean they like each other. At all. You already know that Eric has successfully murdered Nat once and is more than willing to do it again. Cringe

### Bigfoot

Okay well someone needs to *professionally* state that bigfoot has fucked eric but that someone is not gonna be me

## Trivia

* Eric is named after a real AJHQ employee who sometimes appears in videos on their channel, although the only known similarity between the two is their first name.
* His voice is not even remotely replicable past what is simply seen from the Jammer's eyes- that being within the form of text posts on-blog. However, he has been vaguely described as typically upbeat, inappropriately so, alike to some generic commercial-announcer.
	+ controversially i think he's also like shockingly squeaky in spite of everything else his personality/appearance may suggest like a looney tunes character if they were from new york (imagine a shitty brooklyn-esque accent here) except it's a version of new york that isn't real so it sounds wrong and fucked up and incredibly offputting and yet they don't want you to think so and they're trying so hard to convince you they're normal and an okay well-adjusted individual and nothing is wrong with them and at the point it just sounds like Bodies by drowning pool and you have to fast walk out of the room in their pit of mania. Hope this helps put some sort of visual in your head, Jammer!
* Eric's appearance is based off stock photo art of a man in a business suit (shown in the gallery)
* Eric Wheatley is a fucking
* His actual birthday is on April 13th. For whatever reason, he changed it to a day later. While the previous excuse was to say that he was "matching birthdates" with Merriam, after. Well. He has now shifted to claiming that there are PLENTY of other important dates on April 14th, such as the theatrical release date of a very special movie, or when former president Abraham Lincoln was assassinated! ... but it's more likely due to a adversity to 13th of April in general.
	+ It's unknown what exactly caused this reluctance, whether it simply be some strange superstitious value towards Fridays, an association with a Certain Webcomic, Spring Cottages, or something else entirely. Yet another enigma from Mr. Gun....
* Eric's mind sounds like this.
* Eric is a pure, unadulterated, ***COMPLETELY CERTIFIED*** Poor Little Meow Meow! Sorry!
* There are more facts we want to tell you about Eric.... Unfortunately, for the sake of not being killed in the Iron Bull, we have to remain silent! To keep it brief... That man can sure as hell blow up a job! I know from experi

## Gallery

Eric and Leonardo AkumaEric's stock photo formEric's old designsince reddit marriage is on the other guys pages we need equality. \*points\* haha eric getting divorced. cringe little bitchi fucking hate you all. one day you will burn in hell. peace does not exist in this would and eric wheatley is responsible for it. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. die