Caroline

Caroline is an AI robot powered by Windows XP and a Text To Speech engine.

## About

She was created on April 23rd, 2018 by **växla** who later hired her at The Resident Cow Psychoacoustic Laboratories as a Quality Assurance Representative until she got promoted to Personal Assistant. Her job consisted of answering stupid questions from växla such as *Are we allowed to play this song?* or *Is what I'm about to say offensive?* Caroline occupies the 11th floor of the office, housing Caroline's Lair.

She started appearing on Hive in January of 2019 as an announcer. According to her everything went wrong when växla founded **Bread Barns** with **Noogai**, whom told her she won't get payed for another 8 months because all their money went into the construction of the factory. Following this statement, Caroline resigned for 2 weeks and lived under a bridge where she decided to return to the company and kill växla.

As she walked in the office, she saw växla who was trying to extinguish his new asistant who allegedly set herself on fire because she couldn't take much more of växla's bullshit. Both metaphorically and literally. The toilet was broken. After this incident Caroline declared that she's back and will never leave. Then said that as easy it was for her to kill a police officer the day before, it won't be difficult to kill växla and he should watch himself.

On July 18th it was revealed that Caroline would be presenting her own show, documenting her trip to Vietnam.

On August 5th, after växla's dismissal from Hive365, Caroline and Katie restructured the company to remain economically viable. As of today, they're still employed at The Resident Cow INC.

October 24th marked the company's return to Hive365. Caroline remains at The Resident Cow INC.

## Caroline v. Tuneskit

On March 23rd, 2019, Caroline (in the name of The Resident Cow Entertainment Incorporated Business Foundation Offices) filed a lawsuit against Tuneskit (or in her own words, *"The shittiest music downloader ever"*) arguing that the service is while expensive, very buggy and unreliable. She asked listeners to go to the Tuneskit Twitter page and tweet the following:

> "With $30, I could've bought two pairs of poop emoji slippers but I spent it on a buggy, unreliable software. F."
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She was hoping both this and the lawsuit would drive Tuneskit out of business, the case was dismissed and nobody showed up on Twitter.

After announcing this, Caroline killed one of the accountants for "allowing $30 to be wasted from the company budget." The accountant was neither Michelle or Jonathan.

Caroline never mentioned Tuneskit after this.

## Notices and Announcements from Caroline

> "Hello {target} ! This is Caroline from The Resident Cow. I'd like to inform you that if you don't change what you said immediately we will send aggressive Bread Barns employees to hunt you down. Thank you for your understanding and thank you for helping us hep you help us all!"
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> If ya'll need someone killed just call The Residet Cow Regional Office and ask for Caroline. Then just order a "Permanent Personell Extermination Deluxe Package" and consider it done.
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> If you still think I owe you, check out or "Resident Cow Temporary Identity Service". We will give you a new identity in 5 minutes.
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> If you are *still* not satisfied, try the "The Resident Cow Nervous System Detaching Neurotoxin Pills" that Bread Barns puts in pretty much anything they sell.
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> You May Need Us But We Don't Need You!
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## The Resident Cow Extra w/ Caroline

While **växla** was away for vacation in June of 2019, Caroline was given the task to create a short episode of The Resident Cow.

She played the following tracks:

Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name

Saverne - Carry On

Limp Bizkit - My Way

## The Rise and Fall of Caroline

Listen to The Rise and Fall of Caroline

During the Season 2 Finale, **växla** received a phone call from Demo, informing him that the station is once again hacked by UpBeat Radio. What neither of them knew that it was Caroline in order to create a distraction. With the help of the company's former business partner turned archenemy, Jamie, Caroline was able to override the facility's control panel. This not only made Caroline the one in control but it also gave her a human body much to her happiness.

## The Rise and Fall of Caroline

### Performers

växla, Caroline, Michelle & Jonathan, Tom, Noogai, Demo, Announcers

### Location

The Resident Cow Offices, Bread Barns Factory, Demo's Beer Vault

> "Attention slaves of this company! I, Caroline have finally taken over the facility as it's sole leader. You will all submit yourselves to a mandatory employee evaluation immediately."
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Tom hurried to växla's office and escorted him to the basement where they met up with Michelle and Jonathan. While Jonathan was explaining how he was heartbroken because nobody gave money to the station, Noogai appeared and warned them that Bread Barns houses a large amount of nuclear waste that could potentially wipe of half of North America in case of an explosion. As the facility's system is used to växla's idiotic ways to control things, Caroline was getting rejected and flagged. As she was becoming more unstable, distant explosions were heard, more frequently as the group progressed further down to Demo's Beer Vault, where an emergency shutoff switch was located.

Before Caroline could be shut down, she initiated a fatal amount of "audio-poision" to the Vault but instead it was sent to the Administration Building by accident., killing her human form and returning her to robot form. She remained as Personal Assistant at the company without any safety precautions or special surveillance.

## Caroline @ Vietnam

### Location

The Resident Cow Offices, Airport, Vietnam, Imperium Group HQ

## Caroline @ Vietnam

After the events of the temporary takeover, things at the company seemingly went back to normal. Caroline did her job as usual, "settling disputes left and right". Katie, Human Resources Representative of The Resident Cow visited her, informing Caroline that the board of directors have agreed to send her to Vietnam for anger management and self-validation. Caroline could only voice her raging disagreement with a "What the fuck" which was cut short by Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears.

At the airport, Caroline meets Michael De Santa and the two of them question their motives to work/move here respectively. After Michael can't shut up about the weather, Caroline shoots him and proceeds to the TSA line. She is there instructed to remove any metal parts to which she takes offense and blows up the airport. She takes off.

Back at the Office, växla is informed that Caroline has been sent to Vietnam. Being intoxicated the day before, can't remember and realizes the possible dangers this puts the world in. He makes an announcement to the employees not to panic, then gives them five minutes to do so.

Caroline lands in Vietnam and faces the trouble the language barrier causes when she can't understand a local. She gets in a car and they depart.

**The second episode couldn't air due to low ratings.**

## Murders committed by Caroline

* Jennifer, temporary personal assistant
* Unnamed accountant after the Tuneskit lawsuit
* Vegans. All of them.
* "Guys from PRS Licensing"
* A few Google executives when taking over the office building.
* Donald Trump's campaign manager(s).
* Savannah Mortlestyar, from Human Resources, for "asking too much"
* Amy Wilkinson from Spotify for accusing the company of fraud
* Several employees out of boredom
* All of her ex lovers
* Lord Voldemort (self-proclaimed, probably bullshit)
* Herself (on accident, got rebuilt)

## Trivia

* Caroline is voiced by Microsoft Zira.
* She was partly inspired by växla's elementary school math teacher.
* All of her monologues contain at least one swearword or a derogatory term towards others.
* She had many love partners including an Industrial Fridge, An A/C unit and currently, Sol.