Ding Dong

Chris..

" To fuck, to like, so is to live life "
 — Ding Dong's motto.

***Dingus Dongus***, more commonly known as ***Ding Dong,*** is a freelance programmer, a coding genius, and one of the main protagonists of OneyPlays when it first began (although some may consider him an antagonist, by acting as a rational, logical foil to Chris' autism).

**Respect Ding Dong and Julian's privacy, as well as their decision to distance themselves from OneyPlays. Do NOT go out of your way to ask them about the channel. You can enjoy their appearances in OneyStays and older episodes, but don't expect a permanent reappearance, and NEVER bother them about if or when that may happen.**

Ding Dong's home planet of Chicago was invaded by Markiplier and his Let's Players, so he defected to Earth in hopes of finding a safer place to live. He crashed his vessel into a swimming pool and was rescued by Julian on his way to California. Both bonded over *Mad Panic Coaster*. Julian gave refuge to Ding Dong in his new apartment and eventually enlisted his help in building Wan Wan Games. Ding Dong and Julian are now lifelong romantic partners and both respect each other's creative integrity.

He and Julian later met Chris O'Neill, who taught him how to communicate with actual humans and not Stinkies, the distant species relatives of the Funnies and, according to Chris himself, the worst kind of species ever. Ever since coming to Earth, Ding Dong has become very infamous for creating games like *Legend Of Mario* and writing the acclaimed creepypasta *"Mario Says The Fuckword"*. Additionally, it's known that Ding Dong has a small penis.

## Appearance

Like most Chicagoans, Ding Dong is a pale, lagomorphic, bipedal creature with a thin body and a disproportionately large head. His eyes are set far apart from his face, and he has a large mouth with blue lips. He has a pair of "nublets" on top of his head reminiscent of rabbit ears. What sets Ding Dong apart from the rest of his kind is his iconic grey t-shirt with a fishbone displayed on it.

In Chronicles of Mysteria, prior to his adolescent metamorphosis, Ding Dong was a slithering phallic wormlike object informally referred to as a "Long Sleech".

Ding Dong's Long Sleech form.
## Profile and History

Ding Dong is a prodigiously skilled Quantum Mechanic with exceptional skills in computer programming. On his journey to planet Earth in cryo-stasis, he spent much time playing Earthen video games to endure the journey. Throughout this time Ding Dong amassed an archival quantity of video game knowledge and history. Upon finally reaching Earth, Ding Dong was quickly disgusted to find that the glorious tales he had heard of the planet were all but fiction. He found himself lost in a vacuous cesspit of cinematic set-pieces, quick-time events, linear game design, and next-generation graphics. Ding Dong soon discovered that it was no longer the 1990's. His vessel had time-skipped, and he found himself lost in the late 2010's, a terrifying time where his idols were retired, and the greatest video-gaming creatives he had heard of were being relegated to two-man development studios.

This gave Ding Dong a purpose for his short life. He vowed to renew the industry's interest in exciting game play and sought to sacrifice cinematic spectacle in order to save the world of gaming. Julian, his best friend and savior, was inspired by his vision, and thus joined with him to form Wan Wan Games. The two thus became associated with eccentric Newgrounds personality, Chris O'Neill. He sought to support and protect them while providing big funnies to their collective fan bases in order to quell the stagnant vacuum of uninspired entertainment media outlets that pander to let's play communities and video game journals. As a trio, they became a veritable sledgehammer of entertainment and creativity, wrought to bring destruction to all of the big Stinkies who run the gaming and entertainment industry.

Due to the terrible cost of living in LA, he and Julian left OneyPlays to move to Arizona and work on Wan Wan Games. However, he and Julian wanted some more of those Kingdom Hearts munny pickup things, so he returned to continue a few series. After completing these games on Oneyplays, he was imprisoned by the Pakistani government due to not making Bubbafest 2017 after promising his loyal fans, and was imprisoned on Planet Drool alongside Julian until he created a new Bubbafest. He has since come back to streaming after serving his time in prison.

In late 2020, he returned for an episode to play the critically-acclaimed game Stuart Little for the Game Boy Color. He was accompanied by Sonny, a fellow Twitch streamer. Earlier in the same year, he played *Worms Armageddon* with Chris on a Twitch stream.

March 2021 saw him and Julian return, albeit temporarily, to play games with Chris in the cabin under the blanket of twilight in the form of a limited series entitled OneyStays (in reality, Chris was simply staying with the pair in Chicago for two weeks). Their first task was to do the impossible and complete the seminal SNES "classic" *The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare* on an A+ rank. From there, they played some new games like *YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG* and *Digimon Story*, and continued old series like *Resident Evil 4* and *The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time*, with a heap of one-off obscurities in between.

## Interests

Ding Dong enjoys living a healthy lifestyle. Due to his physiology, his species rarely tend to live beyond 1.25 years of age. His species makes use of biosynthetic rituals that reanimate the organic tissue of the recently deceased host. So in theory, Ding Dong may have potentially lived numerous consecutive lives. As well as the occasional detox, Ding Dong also likes to sample a wide variety of Earthen cuisine. Interestingly enough, Ding Dong's species does not survive on a Levo-Amino based acidic diet, therefore Ding Dong is easily made unwell if eating too much Human food without antibiotic treatment. Despite this, Ding Dong's favorite restaurants are;

* Curry House
* Jack in the Box
* Yoshinoya

Of course, Ding Dong's greatest love in life is the welfare of the Games Industry. Ding Dong has allegedly played every single video game known to man. Unfortunately, on Planet Chicago, video games were outlawed after the let's play incursion of 0x12ₑ.

This new law triggered the let's player invasion of ████, where the Lets-Play Coalition, led by Markiplier, invaded Planet Chicago with the express goal of annihilating the planet with the feared interstellar warship known as the Pink Mustache. Within two days, Planet Chicago was devastated, and the charred ruins of their dying planet were abandoned by any remaining inhabitants.

After the mass exodus of his people, Ding Dong used his Chicago Academy education to infiltrate enemy lines and exploit the battle strategies of the evil Lets-Play Coalition. His sole goal in his numerous lives is to exact vengeance upon Markiplier's acolytes and restore integrity to the Gaming Industry in the process. Besides liking human food, he claims to be a fan of human music as well (an example being hip-hop).

## Appearances

* Banjo-Kazooie
* Crash Bandicoot: Cortex Strikes Back
* Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth
* Final Fantasy VII
* Flanders Killer 7
* Gex
* Inspector Gadget
* Jumping Flash
* Kingdom Hearts
* Luigi's Mansion
* Mega Man X
* The Nightmare Before Christmas
* Pokémon Red
* The Polar Express
* Resident Evil 4
* Return of Genesis (Debut)
* Shenmue
* Super Mario 64
* Super Mario 64 Multiplayer
* Super Paper Mario Gold
* Totally Accurate Battlegrounds
* Wild Woody
* YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG
* Yoshi's Dead and Loving It!

## Quotes

* "CHRIS!"
* "I don't know... :("
* "DON'T SAY MY NAAAAAME!"
* "You get transported into Smash Brothers."
* "Twitter's an armpit."
* "Siri me weeheeheehee"
* "I WOULD KILL MYSEEEELF"
* "They didn't say that!"
* "That's not supposed to happen"
* "Take the ring! TAKE THE RING!!!"
* "THEN THAT'S NOT A PERFECT COPY!!!"
* "OW MY DICK!"
* "Go Go gadget the air is now mayonnaise!"
* "These things aren't even alive."
* "I didn't say everything's your fault, just most things!"
* "IT'S EIGHT!!!"

## Trivia

* The "nublets" on Ding Dong's head were once alluded to be nothing more than cosmetic decoration. However, Ding Dong corrected this and confirmed that they are actually part of his anatomy
	+ On a separate occasion in Kingdom Hearts II, they're said to be able to detect crumble rays. They don't go off too often. His ears have detected crumble rays as recently as October 2020.
	+ In addition, Ding Dong does not have kidneys, rather "kidleys", which puff up and make a giggling sound as an evolutionary defense mechanism.
	+ Similar to the fact above, he does not have lungs, but infact thongs, they are very similar and also serve as cosmetic decoration since Planet Chicago did not have oxygen.
	+ During the Pokemon red play through, Chris refers to his penis as his "Ghastly" as it apparently resembles the ghost-type Pokemon. Ding Dong refers to it as a "little sphere with purple around it."
* Ding Dong has his own franchised brand of bologna, Ding Dong Bologna™.
* If he should die permanently, Ding Dong wishes for his remains to be cremated and buried under the churro stand in Disneyland.
* In Episode 19 of Kingdom Hearts 2, Julian stated that Ding Dong was in possession of crack cocaine. However, this has never been proven.
* Ding Dong cannot spell very well, at least not on BabySitter websites.
* Ding Dong prefers to keep his official identity a secret, although he has stated that he isn't straight nor white.
* Soothsayers predict that Ding Dong will become President of the United States in the year 20XX. He has also been predicted to bring back Ecto Cooler, and hire an intern, Bagingy, who will steal his files, and may try to impeach him.
* He is allergic to both cats and dogs.
* He is a master sharpshooter.
* Ding Dong, as a child, believed that Mecha-Bowser was hiding under his bed.
* As of 2019, Ding Dong has held 4 babies.
* Through use of excessive Mountain Dew, Ding Dong is able to extend his lifespan by an extra 20 years.
* Ding Dong's favorite song is *Why You Always Lying* by Desmond Dennis. This was first stated by Chris, then later confirmed by Ding Dong himself.
* Ding Dong has stated on stream that he used to work as a delivery boy at Joe's pizza but was fired after accidentally replacing all the pizza with stinky diapies.
* Ding Dong used to be a member of *The Best Gamers* with other OneyPlays members Zach Hadel and Chris O'Neill. The Best Gamers was a group of epic gamers that would stream games together before it ended for an unknown reason.
* Ding Dong once told a story about the first time he cummed (or "came" as Chris put it) when playing the Newgrounds game *Cow Tipper*. He pressed the arrow keys back and forth so fast that he came, which scared him quite a lot.
* Ding Dong is a big fan of fighting games. His favorite fighting game series is *Guilty Gear*.
* For most of his younger life, Ding Dong thought that "foot sandwich" was one of the worst swear words in the world due to his parents getting extremely mad at him once for saying it, which was most likely because they just misheard him.
* Ding Dong once ate 5 raw onions on stream, saying that it was good for his immune system.
* Although his home planet was invaded and succesfully conquered by Markiplier, his family was killed by Dingodile.
* However, at approximately 11 minutes and 40 seconds of the first episode of the Sonic Adventure series, Ding Dong has confirmed that his mother is actually Omo Chao from Sonic Adventure and that she's trapped in the game, calling her true status into question.
* Chris O'Neill said that one day he intends to make a Ding Dong T-Shirt with the quote *"Bite my shiny pooper, why don't ya?"*. This has unfortunately not happened yet.
* Ding Dong has powerful cum spoots.
* Ding Dong plays the tuba, the vibrations of which stimulate his nublets.
* It is possible that Ding Dong has a spin move like Crash Bandicoot or Veronica Gallardo, though this is yet to be confirmed.
* Contrary to what many people think, Ding Dong actually has a one inch long hair and no eyes.
* Ding Dong was afraid of the concept of death as a tiny alien boy.
* Ding Dong still hasn't gotten over the Banjo Kazooie "Game Over" screen.
* Ding Dong is more into vore than Julian Marcel (We really do live in a strange world).
* If you look at Ding Dong under a microscope, you'll see that all of his cells are just him.
* Ding Dong likes to extend patterns. Many find this frightening.
* Having been a caretaker, Ding Dong has stated that babies crying sounds more like a "BLLRAAARGGGHHH" than a "WAAAAAHHH". It is believed that he was speaking of when he was on Chicago, because there is no way that a human baby could make that noise.
* Ding Dong's urine smells like coffee.
* Ding Dong has twelve cocks tapped together to make his two "legs".
* He is known to like the remastered episodes of *Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers* because it "looks so stupid it's funny."
* He thinks former president of Nintendo of America Reggie Fils-Aime is scary. He says it's because "any time you pause a video of him talking he doesn't look human."
* As explained in Pikmin, when he was just a wee lad in school, one of his classmates got murdered, and a memorial was placed on the wall of one of the hallways that the students could sign. However, since no one paid attention to this child in life since he was kind of awkward, everyone shit-talked him and no one signed it, which bothered Ding Dong, who signed it so his classmate's spirit could be at ease.
* He once threw up from The Evil Pizza Man when he ordered off of Grubhub.
* Ding Dong was once doxxed by several fans of Game Grumps after leaving Oneyplays because of a visual novel the Grumps made, *Dream Daddy*. They told his family that he was gay when he had yet to come out of the closet to them, which made him very, very upset, leading to him saying that he "would have hurt himself if Julian was not there to comfort him."
* As a middle schooler, Ding Dong played *Sonic Robo Blast 2* during its early development. He also played *Sonic Robo Blast 1* and other click-and-play games at a young age.
* Ding Dong arrived on Earth by accident after taking a wrong turn at planet Albuquerque.
* As explained in the Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back playthrough, his favorite song from Final Fantasy VII is Birth of a God, the song that plays during the first phase of the final boss fight with Sephiroth.
* When his Kanye half became antisemitic, Ding Dong performed mitosis in order to banish Kanye into a separate body as a desperate last-ditch effort to avoid psychological corruption. The good news is that Ding Dong is not antisemitic, but the bad news is that there's still a raving antisemite on the loose.