Season 3 Episode 4: The Maltese Spider

Opening song: Teenage Mutant Ninja Mobians (1987) Theme Song

The Maltese Spider

*(The next night, it was raining, and the TMNM and their allies, with the mutants dressed in their trench coat and hat disguises, are running through an alleyway, and we can hear Tails narrating in the accent of Humphrey Bogart)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) Another rainy night, but who had time to worry about the weather? There was trouble in town. The city was under a reign of mob terror. And my partners and I were the only ones who could stop it....

*(Then they hid themselves as a police car drove by, sirens wailing and all. After it’s all clear, Tails speaks up as Humphrey Bogart)*

Tails: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Because we were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Mobians, along with their allies.

*(Knuckles and Vector got annoyed)*

Knuckles: (Sarcastically) Oh, that’s it, Tails.

Vector: (Sarcastically) Tell every crank in town we’re here, why don’t ya?

Tails: I can’t help it, Knuckles and Vector. It’s these trench coats.

Silver: And besides, Tails, Shadow, Rouge, Omega, Cosmo, Blaze, and I are huge Humphrey Bogart fans.

Blaze: That’s right.

*(Then they hurried down the sidewalk towards a crowd of people watching a scene of a crime at a jewelry store)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We were hot on the case now.

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) I even felt my nerve ends tingling inside.

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And a strange sixth sense told me we were nearing the scene of the crime.

Rouge: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) Somebody had broken the law.

Omega: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And that somebody was gonna take a fall.

*(Then Tails tripped on a crime scene barrier stand)*

Cosmo: Tails! Are you alright?

Tails: Yeah.

Vector: But, you wanna try being a little more discreet, Sam Spudhead?

*(They help Tails up and resumed getting a closer look, seeing Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups approach the manager of the jewelry store)*

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) In the thick of the crowd were Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups, a bunch of tough cookies.

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And Elise’s group was already on top of the story.

*(With Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups, Elise’s group interviewed the manager while Christopher and Tai’s groups stood back and watched and videotaped)*

Elise: And you actually saw the burglary take place?

Manager: Oh, well, did I ever. They had all these Martian rays and things. They sliced open the store like it was a-a chocolate cream pie.

*(He showed the damage in the store)*

Manager: I mean, what kind of crooks use heat rays? I think they were from Venus or something like that.

*(Then Tails reminisced the same robberies at different banks upon hearing the manager. Then he envisioned the mob using scientific weapons to rob the banks and even a money truck up to a lead mobster giving a phone call in a nearby phonebooth)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) It was the same story in banks all over town. The city was being sucked dry by the mob. They took anything that wasn’t nailed down. And even a few that were. They were using gear so advanced, it was straight out of “Star Wars.” We knew the mob couldn’t get those state of the art weapons on their own. We smelled a bunch of rats, rats calling themselves Loki, Dr. Eggman, Dr. Neo Cortex, Myotismon, Hunter J, Vanitas, and Sephiroth. But what mobster was gutsy enough to deal with creeps like Loki’s group? Who was this mystery man?

*(Then Tails heard Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups speak up, snapping him out of his thoughts back in reality as the rain ended)*

Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups: Tony Vivaldi, that’s who it is.

Tails: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Who said that?

Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups: We did.

*(The TMNM then noticed them)*

Chris: We said the guy behind these crimes is Tony Vivaldi, a legendary mobster.

Tails: (Normal voice) You mean Tony “The Butcher” Vivaldi?

Izzy: Exactly.

Elise: Similar to Pinstripe Potoroo’s real name being Paul “Pinstripe” Potolini.

Christopher: Even the police I.D.’d some of his men at the bank robbery this morning.

Sonic: So the Butcher is in league with Loki’s group.

Silver: I always knew something about the Butcher wasn’t kosher.

Charmy: So, where do we find this sleazoid?

Christopher: Us human allies heard his favorite hangout is a nightclub called “The Meat Rack.”

Elise: And it’s not a pretty place.

Rarity: Like she said.

Shadow: We’ll check it out, guys.

Twilight Sparkle: Meanwhile, we’ve got a story to file in twenty minutes.

*(Then the human allies see a strange looking statue in an antique shop)*

Kari: (Gasps) Look!

*(This got the rest of our heroes’ attention)*

Roxanne: What is it, guys?

Kara: A lead to the gangsters’ hideout?

Cosmo: A vital clue that will establish a link between the Butcher and Loki’s group?

Charmy: A new kind of pizza I haven’t tried yet?

Matt: Even better!

*(They take a closer look at the statue in the window, revealing that the statue is of a slate gray cute-looking spider)*

TK: A little cute spider statue.

Mimi: (Agreeing) Normally, I have arachnophobia, but this spider, is cuter-looking than Arukenimon’s spider form.

Sora: I agree. Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?

*(Our heroes gave calm flat looks)*

Knuckles: Gimme a break.

Shadow: *Oy vey*.

Big: Gag me with a pizza ladle.

Applejack: I’ve always wanted a cute spider statue since I was a little girl, originally owning a tarantula.

*(Our heroes go up to their human allies)*

Allison: It’ll just take a sec.

*(They go inside and met with the owner by the name of Shlavotny)*

Shlavotny: Welcome to Shlavotny’s All-Night Antiques. Can I help you?

Rainbow Dash: How much is that cute spider statue in the window?

Applejack: I would like to buy it.

*(Then Kayla turned to us in concern)*

Kayla: Why do I have the feeling that song won’t make the top ten?

*(Then Charmy noticed an old pizza maker)*

Charmy: Wow! Check it out! A genuine Louis XIV Antique Pizza-Maker.

*(Our heroes got interested)*

Espio: A must-have item for any Mobian lair.

Dingodile: Along with our pizza oven Elise’s group gave us.

*(At the register, Applejack is just having the cute spider statue wrapped up)*

Applejack: Could you have it delivered?

Shlavotny: But of course, little lady.

*(He then called out to a delivery boy named Chester)*

Shlavotny: Hey, Chester!

*(But Chester is sitting on the crate near a bicycle, sleeping when he woke up slowly)*

Chester: (Tiredly) Huh? Mm.

*(Shlavotny hands the wrapped spider statue to him)*

Shlavotny: Take this to 110 West 13th, and make it snappy.

*(Chester placed the wrapped spider statue in the bicycle basket)*

Chester: (Yawns) Oh, sure, Mr. Shlavotny.

*(He then rode out to deliver the wrapped spider statue to Elise, Christopher, and Tai's groups’ apartment as Applejack pulled her wallet out)*

Applejack: How much do I owe you?

Shlavotny: For you, apple doll, a mere ten spot.

*(Then Tiny and Charmy came up to the register with the pizza-maker)*

Charmy: How about giving us the same deal on this gizmo?

Shlavotny: No way. $12.65. That’s the price.

Charmy: (Disappointedly) Oh, but all I got in my bumblebee piggy bank is $12.40.

Tiny: So, pleeeease?

Shlavotny: Tough noogies, Bee Boy and Orange Guy. Now scram before your pusses breaks some valuable antique mirrors.

*(Offended, Tiny clenched his fist, ready to fight Shlavotny, but Charmy stopped him. Getting why, Tiny gave in, calmed down, and our heroes left the shop)*

Charmy: Sheesh, what a geek!

Tiny: But he had nerve to call Tiny and Charmy “Orange Guy” and “Bee Boy!”

Charmy: And we really wanted that pizza-maker.

*(Unknown to our heroes as soon as they were gone, a car belonging to the mob pulled up in front of the shop)*

Lefty: This is the place, Butcher.

*(They came out of the car, revealing Tony “The Butcher” Vivaldi himself, along with his mobsters, and he and the first mobster named Lefty headed into the shop)*

Butcher: Leave us to it.

*(Once in there, Butcher and Lefty approached Shlavotny)*

Shlavotny: Yes, gentlemen, how may I be of service?

Butcher: I was wondering if you’d be interested in this fine Stradivarius?

*(He opened a guitar case, revealing a Stradivarius Laser Gun inside it, shocking Shlavotny)*

Butcher: I was hopin’ to trade it for a statue.

*(He pulls the laser gun out, making Shlavotny nervous)*

Shlavotny: (Nervously, gulps) A-A-A statue?

*(Butcher aims the laser gun at Shlavotny)*

Butcher: That’s right. Of a cute-looking spider.

*(Shlavotny raised his hands in concern)*

Shlavotny: (Nervously) I-I-I had one, but I-I just sold it.

*(Surprised, Butcher got angry and grabbed Shlavotny by the neck collar of his shirt)*

Butcher: Don’t yank my chain, pops. Where you hidin’ it?

Shlavotny: (Nervously) N-N-N-N-N-Nowhere. It’s gone. Honest.

Butcher: (Glaring) Okay....

*(He threw Shlavotny on the floor behind the register counter and turned to Lefty)*

Butcher: Lefty, leave us waste this place.

Lefty: With the utmost pleasure, Boss.

*(Then Butcher and Lefty fired their laser guns at all the antiques, scaring Shlavotny as he took shelter. Out on the streets, our heroes bidded Elise and Tai’s groups goodbye)*

Elise: Catch you outside Channel Six.

Cream: We’ll be there.

Cheese: (Happily) Chao, chao!

*(Then Charmy noticed a quarter on the ground)*

Charmy: Whoa! A quarter!

*(He picks it up and then Tiny and him counted the money Charmy has in his bank and got happy)*

Tiny: That gives us just enough for antique pizza-maker.

*(Then he and Charmy ran off back towards the shop)*

Charmy: Wait here, guys.

*(Back in the shop, Shlavotny is begging for Butcher and Lefty to stop shooting his antiques)*

Shlavotny: Not my collection of Ancient Egyptian Pocket Calculators!

*(Then Charmy and Tiny came in)*

Charmy: Hello, Mister!

Tiny: We just found entire quart....

*(Then they stopped running upon seeing the damage and mobsters and Tiny and Charmy’s hats from their disguises flew off their heads)*

Charmy: Uh, what the heck’s going on?

Tiny: Yeah?

Lefty: Hey, Butcher, ain’t that one of them Mobians and their allies we was supposed to nab immediately?

Butcher: It sure is.

*(Then they fired their laser guns at Charmy and Tiny, but they dodged. Then Butcher fired a disguise remover device, removing Charmy and Tiny’s disguises and then shot a laser lasso at Charmy and Tiny, tying them up)*

Charmy: No fair!

Tiny: Release Tiny and Charmy!

*(Then Butcher and Lefty dragged Charmy and Tiny, still tied up, into the car)*

Tiny: (Struggling) You turkeys won’t get away with this!

Charmy: (Struggling) Unhand us!

*(But Charmy and Tiny are thrown into the car as Butcher spoke up)*

Butcher: Snap it up. Those other Mobians and their allies must be lurking nearby. We’ll nab them, as well.

*(Then he entered the car last. With our heroes, they waited for Charmy and Tiny to return, unaware of what happened)*

Espio: I’m worried about Charmy and Tiny.

Vector: So what else is new? I’ve been worried about him for two years since our mutation.

Dingodile: Let’s make sure they’re alright.

*(They go to the shop. Once there, they found the store damaged)*

Silver: What a mess.

Knuckles: Yeah, looks like our bedroom.

*(Then they see Shlavotny cowering behind the counter and went up to him)*

Roxanne: (To Shlavotny) See? This is what you get for being crabby with customers, especially my cousin.

*(Then Tails, Cosmo, and Snake noticed Charmy and Tiny’s hats and trench coats and picked them up)*

Snake: Charmy and Tiny’sssss dissssguisssesssss!

*(Concerned, they turned to Shlavotny in desperation and anger)*

Knuckles: What happened to our friends?

*(Silver grabbed Shlavotny by his shirt collar)*

Silver: Answer us, or I’ll use my tough guy voice.

*(Shlavotny nervously answered)*

Shlavotny: (Nervously) T-T-They-They-They took them.

*(Our heroes got shocked)*

Christopher: Who took them?

Roxanne: Tell us now!

Shlavotny: The Butcher.

*(Realizing in calm shock, Silver released Shlavotny and they ran out of the store in determination to rescue Charmy and Tiny)*

Sonic: We’ve got to find them.

Kara: But how?

Tails: It’s not gonna be easy due to the Butcher being elusive on us.

Amy: Well, we could take out an ad in the newspaper, asking if anyone’s seen them. But offhand, I’d say we split up and search.

Sonic: Good idea on the split and search part, Amy.

Dingodile: All right, but be careful.

*(Then they split into three groups. With Knuckles’ group, consisting Knuckles, Vector, Tikal, Cream, Cheese, Dingodile, and Kara, they searched for Charmy and Tiny at another street)*

Knuckles: (Sing-songy voice) Oh, Charmy and Tiny!

*(Then a familiar car, unknown to them, pulled up next to them, much to their suspicious notice)*

Vector: What are you gawking at?

Knuckles: Haven’t you ever seen a mutant animal in a raincoat before?

Tikal: Knuckles?

Knuckles: What?

Tikal: Don’t be rude to them.

*(Suddenly, they stopped upon seeing the car stop and then the back window opened, unveiling some laser guns pointing at them)*

Knuckles: I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut.

Tikal: You think?

Kara: Run!

*(They run away, with the mutants dropping their hats on the ground. Then after a disguise remover blasted the mutants, removing their disguises, Knuckles’ group ran quickly and hid behind some crates. But too late, Butcher and his men saw them run behind the crates, and using a laser lasso, tied them up, and dragged them to the car as they struggled. Back at the shop entrance, our heroes regrouped, unaware of what happened to Knuckles’ group)*

Roxanne: None of us in Sonic’s group could find a trace of Charmy or Tiny.

Tails: Neither did we in my group.

Ace: But where’s Knuckles’ group?

Blaze: Oh, no. Don’t tell me they’re missing, as well.

*(They head for a nearby manhole)*

Shadow: We can’t afford to get trapped ourselves.

*(After opening it, they climbed down a ladder into the sewers)*

Espio: We must seek Yuffie and Master Cloud and Aerith’s help.

*(Once after Billy entered last and closed the manhole from behind, Butcher’s car then passed by, missing them thankfully. Inside, our captured heroes are tied in ropes instead of laser lassoes and gagged already, and are angrily struggling to free themselves, but to no avail)*

Lefty: There’s no sign of those other Mobians and their other allies.

Butcher: Forget them. Right now let’s just find that spider.

*(Our captive heroes glared angrily in concern. In the sewer lair, our non-captive heroes, the remaining Mobians still wearing the disguises, are consulting Cloud, Aerith, and Yuffie about the situation)*

Cloud: If those criminals did take Charmy, Tiny, and Knuckles’ group, it would certainly indicate that they’re in league with Loki’s group.

Yuffie: But why, Dad?

Shadow: True, the Butcher gets to rob the city blind....

Sonic: But what’s in it for Loki’s group?

Aerith: What, indeed?

Cloud: That is a good question.

Yuffie: Our ancient enemies do not share power easily.

Tails: Wait. Maybe it has something to do with that antique shop they tore apart.

Silver: They were probably searching for something there.

Cloud: Excellent reasoning, Tails and Silver.

Aerith: You both may make good detectives yet.

*(Tails and Silver blushed a bit, rubbing the back of their heads)*

Tails: (Chuckles a bit) I guess so, Masters.

Silver: A little inspiration from movies starring Humphrey Bogart.

Cosmo: And Sherlock Holmes.

Rouge: Well, let’s go investigate.

Heroes: (Nods) Yeah.

*(They head out. Up at the surface, our heroes climbed out of another manhole and began their search)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) With our partners vanishing like pepperonis in a pizza baking contest, Cloud and Aerith, our head honchos, and their daughter, Yuffie, decided to join us.

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We were looking for trouble in the antique district.

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And it wasn’t long before we found it.

*(Then they see some lasers shoot out a glass window at another antique shop and out came Butcher and his mobsters wielding laser guns)*

Tails: The Butcher!

*(Then Butcher and his mobsters spotted our heroes)*

Butcher: (To himself) The Mobians and their allies! And the guy and his wife they take orders from. *(To his mobsters)* Get ‘em, boys.

*(Then Lefty and the mobsters fired their laser guns at our heroes just as they charged at them, but they dodged and took shelter behind hard objects)*

Cloud: (To himself) We cannot fight these weapons. *(To our heroes)* Get to safety.

Aerith: Yuffie, Cloud, and I will draw their fire.

Yuffie: Run!

*(Then Cloud, Aerith, and Yuffie ran out to distract Butcher and his mobsters when Butcher fired the laser lassos at Cloud, Aerith, and Yuffie, tying them up)*

Sonic: Our Masters Cloud and Aerith and Yuffie!

*(Suddenly, more laser lassos fired at our heroes after the disguise removers removed the Mobians’ disguises, tying them up as well, all except Tails, Shadow, Rouge, Omega, Silver, and Christopher’s group. Once all captured, our captured heroes were dragged by the laser lassos up to the mobsters)*

Lefty: Yeah, you dirty rats, it’s curtains for you.

*(Then he turned to us readers with a bit of an evil chuckle)*

Lefty: All my life, I’ve wanted to say that.

*(With Tails and Christopher’s groups, they got ready to save their captured friends when Cloud and Yuffie called out to them)*

Cloud: You cannot help us, Tails and Christopher’s groups!

Yuffie: Save yourselves!

Aerith: Run!

Tails and Christopher’s groups: But Yuffie, Senseis...!

Yuffie: Run!

Aerith: That is an order!

Cloud: Hurry!

*(Giving in, Tails and Christopher’s groups ran away when Butcher fired his laser gun at them)*

Butcher: This’ll stop them.

*(He fired at a nearby abandoned building and the debris collapsed towards Tails and Christopher’s groups and then they disappeared underneath, much to our captured heroes’ concern. Then our captured heroes were thrown into the car)*

Butcher: (Returning to the car) Chalk off those Mobians and those allies. They’re finished.

*(Then they get in the car and drove off with their captives)*

***Commercial break***

*(With Tails and Christopher’s groups, they recovered from the debris thanks to Silver’s powers)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) What a feeling. It was like I’d eaten liverwurst pizzas on an empty stomach.

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) Cloud, Aerith, and Yuffie were gone. Tiny, Dingodile, and the other Mobians were gone.

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We were all alone, and we were hurting bad.

Rouge: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) There was only one place we could go for help.

*(Later at the Channel Six building as Tails and Christopher’s groups arrived, Jamieson and Seifer are talking with Elise and Tai’s groups)*

Jamieson: But, Elise’s group, you’ve got to do it. You and Tai’s groups are the only ones who can crack this story on this bizarre crime wave tonight.

Elise and Tai’s groups: But why us?

Jamieson: Because only you guys have the streets smarts, the contacts, the just plain guts, to uncover the truth about this menace.

*(Seifer nods)*

Elise: Really?

Jamieson: Besides, there’s a very simple reason why it has to be you guys.

Tai: Which is?

Seifer: Everyone else is just too darn scared.

*(Understanding, Elise and Tai’s groups gave in and got up)*

Elise and Tai’s group: Okay.

Matt: We won’t let you down.

Applejack: And we’ll try to hogtie those crooks to get this story.

*(They head out. At the main lobby near the entrance, Tai’s group ran ahead of Elise’s group when they saw Tails and Christopher’s groups coming in, looking hurt)*

Mimi: What happened?

Agumon: Are you guys hurt?

Tails’ group: Yeah....

Christopher’s group: Got to find Elise’s group, now that we found you guys....

*(Then Elise’s group arrived, saw them, and got concerned)*

Elise’s group: Guys!

*(They helped Tails and Christopher’s groups. Later, they explained what happened as their injuries are being healed slowly by Silver’s powers since Cosmo, the only fast healer of the TMNM, is captured)*

Tails: So that’s the story, guys.

Elise: The Butcher got everybody?

Shadow: Even Yuffie and Masters Cloud and Aerith.

Rouge: We’ve gotta find them.

TK: Where could he have taken them?

Omega: Only one place we can think of....

Christopher’s group: The Meat Rack.

*(Meanwhile at the Meat Rack’s backroom, Butcher and his mobsters are contacting Loki’s group about their accomplishments)*

Butcher: I grabbed the rest of those Mobians and some of their allies and knocked off the Fox Mobian’s group and the vigilante boy group. And I got the two giant rats and their human daughter as well.

*(Loki’s group smirked evilly at this)*

Loki: (On-screen) You have done well, Butcher.

*(Then Loki’s group got angry)*

Vanitas: (On-screen) But you still have not gotten us the Maltese Spider.

Sephiroth: (On-screen) We have given you weapons which have made you master of the city.

Hunter J: (On-screen) Yet you are incapable of finding a simple little statue.

Butcher: Leave us not blow our corks, Loki’s group. My boys can’t go through every antique store in town.

Myotismon: (On-screen) They don’t have to do that.

Cortex: (On-screen) One of the devices we so generously gave you is a superconducting magnet.

Eggman: (On-screen) Just set it to “Antiques” and it will electromagnetically empty out every antique shop within a 50 mile radius and pull the antiques straight to your headquarters.

Myotismon: (On-screen) Now quit gaping and do it.

*(After Loki’s group hung up, Butcher went over to the magnet machine)*

Butcher: Gee, what a handy little gadget.

*(He takes a closer look)*

Butcher: Hmm. Let me see.

*(Then he read the settings)*

Butcher: (Reading) Toys. Home furnishings. Men’s underwear.

*(He finds it)*

Butcher: Ah-ha! “Antiques.”

*(Then he activated it on “Antiques,” and the magnet then proceeded to gather all the antiques in the 50 miles radius of the city. Elsewhere, our heroes headed for the Meat Rack)*

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We were heading for the Butcher’s hangout, but we didn’t have a clue.

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) What was he up to? What was his plan?

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And then it struck me.

*(An antique clock then bumped into Tails, knocking him down while it flew by. After getting up in recovery, he and our heroes saw the antiques flying off towards their destination)*

Tails: It’s raining knickknacks.

Christopher: This must be the Butcher’s doing, all right.

Elise: Yeah.

Izzy: With Loki’s group’s help.

Rouge: Without a doubt.

Twilight Sparkle: All we have to do is follow these antiques, and they’ll lead us straight to his hideout.

Comet Tail: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Sweetheart, you read my mind.

Tails: Very good Humphrey Bogart impression, Comet Tail.

Comet Tail: Thanks.

*(Then they followed the antiques)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) It was happening all over town.

Rouge: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) Even the police were baffled.

*(Then a nearby cop approached them)*

Cop: Just where do you're think goin’ now?

Tails: Just out for a stroll, copper.

Cop: Go home, all of you. Finding the Butcher is a job for us pros.

Shadow: (Scoffs) All you flatfoots can find is a donut shop.

*(Then the cop grabbed Shadow’s coat collar and yanked him up to his face angrily)*

Cop: Now, listen, gumshoe. Don’t go stickin’ your rodent nose in police business.

*(Then he got surprised)*

Cop: Rodent nose?

*(He then got nervous, chuckled a bit, and released Shadow)*

Cop: (Nervously) N-Nice outfit.

Pinkie Pie: May we go now, Officer?

*(Then the cop got tough)*

Cop: All right, all right. But let me give you a piece of advice; Stay off of my beat.

Rouge: Okay.

Cop: And don’t talk to strangers.

Silver: Sure, sure, okay.

*(Then our heroes resumed following the antiques)*

Cop: And don’t eat candy without a wrapper.

Shadow: All right, already!

Cop: And look both ways before crossing the street.

*(At the Meat Rack, our heroes arrived and went inside)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We finally made it to the Meat Rack.

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) The place was a zoo. Well, more like a butcher shop. Anyway, it was crowded.

*(Then, a woman sitting at a bar spoke up to Shadow seductively)*

Woman 1: (Seductively) Hey, where are you going, short, dark, and handsome?

*(Rouge got secretly jealous. Then she and Shadow brushed the woman off gently)*

Shadow: (Scoffs lightly) Excuse us, but we’re in a hurry.

Woman 1: Okay.

*(Our heroes resumed their walk towards the back of the building)*

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We headed for the back of the club. That’s where the Butcher would be at.

Rouge: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And we had to find out what he was up to at once.

*(In the back room, Lefty and the mobsters are digging through a pile of stolen antiques for the Maltese Spider, but to no avail while Butcher watched)*

Lefty: Oh, forget it, Boss. There ain’t a single Maltese Spider in this whole pile of junk.

*(Angry at this, Butcher contacted Loki’s group)*

Butcher: No luck, Mr. Loki and his group. We’ve got every antique in town, and not a trace of that statue.

Loki’s group: (On-screen) What?!

Vanitas: (On-screen) Impossible!

Eggman: (On-screen) You ignoramuses have slipped up somewhere.

Butcher: Hey! Don’t go blaming us with your group, Egghead.

Loki: (On-screen) Now you listen to us. We’re going to be on the docks at midnight.

Myotismon: (On-screen) And you better be there with the statue, or else!

*(Then Loki’s group hung up. Behind some crates, our heroes have overheard everything)*

Elise: (Whispering) You were right.

Rainbow Dash: (Whispering) Loki’s group *is* behind this whole thing with the Butcher.

Tails: (Whispering) We’ve gotta find Cloud, Aerith, and the others.

*(They get up to sneak out when Omega bumped into some crates, knocking them down, and making Butcher and his mobsters see our heroes and aim their laser guns at them)*

Joe: (Nervously) My friends and I can’t take you guys anywhere.

Butcher: Well, lookie what we got here.

*(He turned to Lefty and the mobsters)*

Butcher: Boys, grab ‘em!

*(Our heroes got concerned)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) This was it. I knew it was curtains. I knew we were finished, but most of all, I knew it was time for a break.

*(Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters approached our heroes slowly, still aiming their laser guns)*

***Commercial break***

*(Then Butcher ordered Lefty and the mobsters)*

Butcher: Get ‘em, boys!

Fluttershy: (To our heroes) How are we gonna get out of this?

Braeburn: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Simple, sweetheart.

Tails: We run for it!

*(They darted back into the Meat Rack with the mobsters chasing them, firing their laser guns at them. But our heroes and the people in the Meat Rack dodged them all and while the people ran out in a panic, our heroes took shelter. Tails then whacked his bo stick on the disco ball hanging on the ceiling and after it broke off, Silver levitated it with his powers and whacked the mobsters down like bowling pins. With the human allies, they ran out upon seeing a food tray, and shoved it into a dessert table, knocking all the desserts onto the mobsters. Omega grabbed a nearby roast from a hook)*

Omega: Food fight!

*(Then he threw the roast at the two mobsters, making them trip and fall onto the cake slice residue in their faces)*

Spike: No fair.

Tai: They’re making a bigger mess than we are.

*(Then Elise threw a cherry pie at Christopher, and getting the idea, he whacked the pie with his hockey stick right into Butcher’s face)*

Butcher: You’ll pay for this!

*(Our heroes retreated quickly)*

Sunset Shimmer: Come on.

Starlight: Let’s get outta here.

*(Then they got away. Later at Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups’ apartment, our heroes flew and/or climbed up the fire escape ladder to the apartment to get the Maltese Spider)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We headed for our human allies’ place.

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We were afraid the Butcher’s goons might have already beaten us there, so we took the side entrance.

*(As the non-flying members climbed, Joe groaned a bit)*

Joe: Really! This is ridiculous.

Gomamon: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Look, sweetheart, none of us want the Butcher’s boys to have the drop on us.

Izzy: We could’ve just asked the superintendent if anyone suspicious had come in, you know?

*(Once at the apartment, they climbed in through the window)*

Elise: Now, do you mind telling us what we’re doing at our apartment?

Tails: Whatever the Butcher is looking for has to be something major ‘cause Loki’s group wants it.

Silver: And if our hunch is correct, it’s....

*(They heard a knock on the door and opened it to reveal Chester with the wrapped Maltese Spider)*

Chester: Uh, the package for Applejack.

*(Tails accepted the wrapped Maltese Spider from Chester and he left)*

Tails: This is it; The thing they’re all looking for.

Applejack: My cute spider statue?

Caramel: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) That’s right, sweetheart.

Tails: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Meet us at the docks at midnight and bring it with you.

Applejack: You’re not gonna give this to Loki’s group, are you?

Tails: Of course not.

Shadow: But it’s our only bargaining chip to get Cloud, Aerith, and the others back to us.

*(Later on the streets, Tails’ group walked down the sidewalk)*

Tails: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We had to find out just what made that statue so important.

Silver: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) And to do that, we needed one simple piece of equipment.

*(Back in the back of the Meat Rack, Butcher is talking with Lefty and the mobsters)*

Lefty: What do we do, Boss? It’s nearly midnight, and we still don’t got that statue.

Butcher: I don’t know. But that guy Loki and his group are gonna be real ticked off.

*(Suddenly, the TV set turned off by itself, revealing Tails’ group)*

Tails: (On-screen) Welcome to another edition of.... Miles “Tails” Prower!

Rouge: (On-screen) The show for couch potatoes who don’t know beans.

Lefty: It’s those Mobians again. They must’ve come back to life along with those vigilante boys.

Butcher: I should’ve finished you off when I had the chance.

Shadow: (On-screen) Then you’d never get the statue everybody wants, but that we have now.

*(Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters got interested)*

Butcher: You got it?! Give it to me!

Silver: (On-screen) Not so fast.

Tails: (On-screen) First you’re gonna tell us why Loki’s group wants it so bad.

Butcher: Okay. There was once an evil scientist who lived on the Island of Malta. He was the greatest scientist in all of Malta. He was also the only scientist in all of Malta. One day, he invented a formula for a new super fuel, more powerful than anything ever known. It was the same day he passed away. But he’d written down the formula inside this statue of a cute little spider.

*(Tails’ group understood)*

Silver: (On-screen) So that’s why Loki’s group wants the Maltese Spider.

Butcher: Right. With that super fuel, they can repower their Jotundrome and rule the world. And I get dibs on Detroit.

*(He changes the subject)*

Butcher: Now where are you hiding that spider?

Rouge: (On-screen) Hold your horses. You’ll get it.

Shadow: (On-screen) Just bring Cloud, Aerith, Yuffie, Tiny, Dingodile, Kara, Roxanne, and the other Mobians to the docks at midnight.

Tails: (On-screen) We’ll swap then.

Butcher: (Nods) It’s a deal.

Omega: (On-screen) And we don’t want to see any weapons.

Tails: (On-screen) Not even spitballs.

Lefty: What a bunch of spoilsports.

*(Then Tails’ group appeared in the room, revealing that they were faking themselves being on the TV set)*

Tails: Thanks, fellas.

Rouge: It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.

*(Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters got baffled and shocked upon seeing this)*

Lefty: The Mobians! They’re really here!

*(Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters snap out of their shocked expressions and got determined)*

Butcher: Get them!

*(They fired their laser guns at Tails’ group, but they dodged and hid behind some crates. Then they spotted on the floor a laser gun)*

Shadow: Just what we were looking for.

*(He grabs it)*

Tails: (To Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters) See you at midnight.

*(Then they got away. Later at the docks, Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters are waiting with their car for Tails’ group to show up with the Maltese Spider when Lefty noticed their laser guns in the car)*

Lefty: Hey, remember, they said they didn’t want to see any weapons.

*(The mobster closed the car door)*

Butcher: Quiet, you mugs. Loki’s group will be here any....

*(Then the Module emerged from under the edge of the dock from underwater and it landed on the docks. Then Loki’s group and their henchmen emerged, spilling some water out, and both Rilla and Cubot holding each fish in their mouths)*

Vanitas: (To the henchmen) You incompetent slugs!

Hunter J: (To the henchmen) Can’t you do anything right?

Pinstripe: (Pointing at Rilla accusingly) It was *his* fault.

*(Rilla removed the fish from his mouth along with Cubot removing the other fish from his mouth and repeatedly whacked Pinstripe on the head with the first fish)*

Rilla: Oh, my fault?

Ripper: How dare you?!

Rilla: *You* were steering the Module!

*(But Loki’s group made them stop)*

Loki’s group: Oh, shut up, shut up, shut up, all of you!

*(Then they turned to Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters)*

Loki: Well, do you have the Maltese Spider?

*(Butcher struggled to explain)*

Butcher: Well, uh.... No. But, you see....

Loki’s group: (Shocked) What?!

Myotismon: Butcher, we warned you.

*(Then they see Tails’ group, out of their disguises, coming up to them with the wrapped Maltese Spider)*

Tails: Uh, excuse us.

Shadow: Is this what you’re looking for?

Loki’s group: The statue!

Hunter J: Give it to us!

Silver: Not until you release our friends.

Omega: Where are they?

*(Then the mobsters brought our captured heroes out of the car, and now only their hands are tied behind their backs in ropes and no longer gagged)*

Sephiroth: The package first, now!

Vanitas: Or else we’ll finish them, except Aerith and Yuffie, ourselves.

*(Tails’ group sighed in defeat)*

Tails: Okay.

Rouge: I guess you hold all the cards.

*(Then Tails threw the wrapped Maltese Spider to Loki’s group and Eggman caught it while laughing evilly a bit with Loki’s group)*

Eggman: (Laughs evilly a bit) Ours at last.

*(They unwrapped the Maltese Spider as Loki’s group laughed evilly a bit. Then Eggman and Cortex opened it in half)*

Cortex: It’s the formula.

Loki: The Jotundrome will roll again!

Rouge: All right, creeps. You got what you wanted.

Tails: Now release the others.

*(Loki’s group chuckled evilly a bit)*

Vanitas: But the destruction of you guys and your friends, except Aerith and Yuffie, is also what we wanted.

Loki’s group: (To Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters) Finish them!

*(Before Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters did anything, Tails’ group turned to a nearby shed’s rooftop)*

Tails’ group: Now!

*(Then Elise, Christopher, and Tai’s groups fired the laser gun at the Maltese Spider, destroying it)*

Eggman: (Screams a bit) Our formula!

Cortex: The Mobians and their allies have no such ray guns.

*(Loki’s group turned to Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters accusingly)*

Loki: You must have done it.

Butcher: Me? No way. I’m innocent, I tell ya.

*(With the villains distracted, Tails’ group came up to our soon-to-be-rescued heroes with their weapons and their own weapons)*

Tails: (Whispering) Hey, guys.

Shadow: (Whispering) Did you miss us?

Charmy: (Whispering) To the max, dudes.

Dingodile: (Whispering) Very clever of you mates.

Cosmo: (Whispering) We knew you’d save us.

Blaze: (Whispering) Do your stuff, Silver.

*(Then Silver used his powers to untie our heroes. Once freed, they turned to them gratefully)*

Cream: (Whispering) Thank you, Mr. Silver.

Cheese: (Whispering happily) Chao, chao.

Big: (Whispering) Yeah.

*(Froggy quietly and happily croaks in agreement. With the villains, Loki’s group are still accusing Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters)*

Eggman: Just for that, we’re taking our weapons back from you.

Cortex: Koala, a teleportational ray.

Koala: Right, Boss Dr. Cortex.

*(He fired the teleportational ray gun at the advanced weapons they gave Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters and the weapons were teleported away to the Jotundrome)*

Butcher: Hey! What did you do now?

Cortex: We had teleported our weapons back to the Jotundrome.

Butcher: Hey, well, what about us?

Vanitas: You cheap crooks are finished.

*(Then Tails called out to Loki’s group and their henchmen as Humphrey Bogart)*

Tails: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) Wrong, Loki’s group.

*(Then the villains noticed to their shock their former captives untied and armed, ready to fight with Tails’ group, and Christopher’s group had joined them already, armed as well)*

Tails: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) You’re the ones who are finished.

*(The henchmen ran to the Module in fear due to them not having real weapons while Loki’s group ran to the Module in anger)*

Komodo Joe: The captives are loose.

Moe: And we don’t have any weapons.

Hunter J: To the Jotundrome!

*(They go into the Module as Loki’s group glared at our heroes)*

Loki: We shall meet again, Mobians and allies.

*(Then Loki’s group and their henchmen got away in the Module back to the Jotundrome)*

Knuckles: When it comes to exit lines, nobody beats ol’ Loki and his group.

*(They ran up to the hole on the docks)*

Sonic: But they, unfortunately, got away again.

Aerith: Perhaps.

Cloud: But their associates have not.

*(They turned to Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters, who all got nervous, and got smugly determined)*

Espio: Masters Cloud and Aerith are right.

Sonic: Let’s do it!

*(They charge at Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters)*

Butcher: (Nervously) Now, guys, leave us be reasonable.

Lefty: (Nervously) We was just foolin’ around.

*(The mobsters nodded nervously)*

Lefty: (Nervously) Can’t you take a joke?

*(Then Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters ran towards the water with our heroes in hot pursuit)*

Sonic: In three words; No way, Jose.

Heroes: Go, Cool Machine!

*(Then they lunged at them and fought them in a fight cloud. After it subsided, our heroes emerged victorious and have Butcher, Lefty, and the mobsters tied up)*

Shadow: (Voice-over, imitating Humphrey Bogart) We made quick work on the Butcher and his mob and left them for the police.

*(Later, our heroes are walking down the sidewalk on the streets the next morning, all of the mutants back in their trench coat and hat disguises, glad to have accomplished their mission to stop Butcher’s crime spree, and it was revealed that the whole narration was part of this scene as a flashback for Tails’ group)*

Silver: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) They were given a collective sentence of 843 years for robbery, racketeering, and tearing those little tags off of mattresses.

Rouge: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) As for Loki’s group, we knew we’d see them again.

Omega: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) They’re the bad pennies that keep turning up.

Tails: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) The rotten apples the spoils the bunch, the moldy anchovy that ruins the pizza.

*(Then Vector spoke up, making them finish their loud narration)*

Vector: Hey, Tails, guys?

Tails, Shadow, Silver, Rouge, and Omega: Yeah?

Vector: Now that you’ve done your Humphrey Bogart flashback, would you put a sock in it?!

Tails, Shadow, Silver, Rouge, and Omega: Sorry.

Tails: Like we told you before, we’re fans of Humphrey Bogart.

Vector: (Shrugs) Well, whatever you say.

*(Then they resumed their stroll)*

To be continued....

Ending song: Teenage Mutant Ninja Mobians (1987) Theme Song Instrumental Version