Murlocs

**Murlocs** are retarded amphibious creatures that devolved from frogs and somehow made it into cards in Hearthstone. Blizzard, aware of a murloc's average mental capacity, chose to stay truthful to the theme and make these creatures aggro driven in HS.

Unlike pirates and mechs, their cancerous counterparts, murlocs are widely loved by the community for no discernible reason. The closest thing to a theory we've got is that the average HS player instinctively wants to go face regardless of shame.

## Strategy

> "*Murlocs are cancer!*"
> ― A surefire, truthful way to rack up downvotes on Hearthpwn
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Murlocs are playable in every class, and can only be stopped by a timely draw of a board clear or a shitty crab no one plays. The strategy is often a clever mix of going face and vomitting all drawn minions until the enemy is either overwhelmed or the frog spitting retard is out of steam.

Another less common strategy due to it requiring basic math skills is the Anyfin Can Happen combo, which has fortunately died out with its rotation to Wild.

A game with murlocs is always very retarded.

## Enough, Blizzard

Oddly enough, Blizzard seems to have a furry fetish for amphibians too, as they can't help but release more of these abortions even in expansions where none should exist.

Of course, as with everything Blizzard does, eventually these stupid choices led to a massive shitstorm when murlocs were being more exploited than the new mechanics they pushed forward. With a heavy heart, Blizzard had to finally reduce their power a bit, and hand some players a dust refund.

## The rip-offs

Of course, with Hearthstone's success, it was only a matter of time before others would try to mimic HS, including its worst features. The decks created by these copycats were undisputably cancerous, and much like murlocs, they are yet to be ditched for good to do the world a favor.

### Elder Scrolls: Legends

Without any cute creatures in the Elder Scrolls lore, the devs had to make do with what they had, and stuck to unintelligent beings that are far too great in numbers. In this case, it was primarily goblins, not the intelligent, greedy kind, but the stupid, ugly, Tolkien rip-off kind.

Fortunately, goblins are still insanely weak, since the devs were smart enough not to support their filthy archetype. However, other challengers approach to take the ESL Murloc crown:

* **Orcs:** Equally stupid, same playstyle, still lack the cuteness element. They are far more viable though.
* **Falmer:** Not yet an archetype, but these blind, ugly and stupid creatures are on their way too.
* **Khajiit:** Close enough to cute, get rewarded by going face, make retards feel skilled. Their only problem is not being reliant on numbers to win.

### Eternal Card Game

In Eternal, the story is completely different. The universe is theirs, and so are their rules. So, instead of ripping off murlocs once, they do it twice, with two kinds of creatures that are equally dumb/cute and sort of do the same thing with different colors.

* **Grenadin:** Adorable little mining robots that will tear you a new one if you go one turn without playing a minion or killing one of theirs. **Sounds familiar**? Their shtick is sacrificing a bunch of tokens in order to gain temporary advantages, which are often far superior to whatever 1/1 token was lost.
* **Yeti:** Small furry creatures that will probably rape you within 5 turns regardless of what you play. The devs themselves advertise these creatures' stupidity as if it is somehow a positive achievement, further proving that the community they are appealing to is no less than a bunch of HStoners.

> "*What the yeti lack in size, they make up for with a total lack of common sense.*"
> ― The Eternal loading screen
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