Papyrus

**Papyrus Simpson** is a sexually confused alt-right surgery technologist, the King of Dirt, and the brother of Sans. His interests include sports, music, and sterilized fracking.

Midway through Snowdin, Papyrus reveals that he is also the **CIA**.

Papyrus works at a nut company, but hates his boss. This is revealed during his date and foreshadowed earlier when Sans says that "papyrus...nuts everywhere. not peanuts though."

## Personality

Papyrus tends to devolve into gibberish when flustered. Papyrus walks around talking about his opinions as early as 7 am, which Serrols thinks is very funny. Papyrus knows he is a terrible person and he loves it.

Although he says his PTSD has been even worse this year, Papyrus denies the possibility of being depressed and, when confronted, flees the scene while reciting Zee News' cookie policy. Papyrus finally accepts his depression at the end of his date.

On his date, Papyrus reveals that he is "SO **HIGH** ON SUGAR".

### Sexuality and relationships

Papyrus is homophobic and insults Serrols' perceived homosexuality. He loathes the idea of snuggling Aquaman, but much to his own discomfort, he also considers the human drop dead sexy. He then reminds himself that they can’t be pretty because they’re not a woman, meaning that even feces are cuter than them. (It should be noted that late into his date, Papyrus reveals a fixation with feces. He loves wearing diapers and insists that he, Chris, Simon Redpath, and everyone will make a lot of "STINKY" "POOPIES".) Papyrus insists that he loves women, but not blondes. During his date, he questions why American girls are so attractive.

Very early on, Papyrus lets slip that his hubby has a website because New York has high poverty. Indeed, at the end of Snowdin, he comes out to his parents as having dated a guy for months now. Nevertheless, Papyrus still shows discomfort when "men can see" his "awesome" "bulge" on his date with Simon Redpath. Later in the date, Papyrus blames **censorship** for people coming out as gay when they should be supporting Melania Trump.

A jokebook in Papyrus's house holds a sleeping child and brother. Kissing this brother turns Simon Redpath into a brother themself, which may be how Sans and Papyrus become brothers to begin with.

At Grillby's, Sans describes Papyrus as "a divorce proceeding", which is a potential riff on his love life. Papyrus does seem to constantly be in and out of relationships. In Snowdin, Papyrus's cat girlfriend breaks up with him and he immediately dates Simon Redpath. He then tells Undyne that he loves coming home to his boyfriend, but yet! He's single.

### Political views

As an American conservative, Papyrus's homophobia is closely related to his political beliefs. Papyrus opposes gun bans. Screw the schools! And then we will tax the poor! There will be no more social security.

Papyrus “HATES LIBERALS” and “SJWS”, defending his hate by blaming it on his PTSD. Papyrus's hatred of liberals is so deep that after wetting himself, he unhesitatingly believes Sans when he blames it on Barack Obama without an inkling of evidence. Papyrus thinks that society is obsessed with Thomas Reich and prefer Thomas the Train.

Papyrus likes the journalism at Barnes and Nobles [sic] and suggests to screw the Huffington Post.

On his date, Papyrus claims to receive a lot of Twitter reactions, many of them being negative. Papyrus blames this on trolls and "STUPID COMMUNISTS".

Papyrus claims that World War II was easier than video games.

Papyrus sees video evidence of the human killing, but then reasons to himself that police do the same and he loves it. He tactfully confronts the human, and understands why they’re scared. He’s the CIA, after all.

## History

Papyrus, as he reveals during his date, never went through puberty and is now 35 years old.

Papyrus is first mentioned at the beginning of the game, when Flowey tricks Simon Redpath into giving the CIA (Papyrus) information to incriminate Hillary Clinton. He first appears in Snowdin to angrily rant about sports to his brother Sans.

Papyrus eventually goes on a date with Simon Redpath, where he becomes naked and alludes that he may be pregnant. He spends the date measuring the possibility of World War III through metrics like "Kenya", "July", and "Government". After a strange tangent about "POOPIES", however, Papyrus finally breaks down, asking, "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE...I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS! I'M SO ALONE. I'M SO DEPRESSED! SOMETHING INSIDE ME DIED!!!" He then realizes that politics is making him nervous and embarks on a TikTok-inspired mission to end meat lovers. He confesses that he is a Simpson, but because of his pigtails, he is an American. After giving Simon his email, Papyrus flees the police and feds despite being the CIA.

## Notes

* In the real world, the CIA is the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States.
* Flowey's cahoots with the CIA parallels his friendship with Papyrus in OG Undertale.
* According to Serrols, Papyrus's breath stinks. Papyrus blames this on air conditioning.
* Papyrus thinks the human is attracting kids to cults.
* Papyrus likes all flavors, including feces on cakes.
* Papyrus hates stairs.
* Papyrus thinks that 1979 was the best year.
* Papyrus really likes the beach.
* Walmart makes Papyrus nervous.
* Papyrus once saw a Subway advertisement on his HGTV.