Eric for Principal

**Eric for Principal** is episode 15a of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on March 6, 1999.

## Synopsis

When Eric puts a picture frame of himself on Principal Walker's family tree, Walker believes Eric is his long-lost son, so he passes the principal job to him.

## Cast (WIP)

* Andrew Rannells as Edward, The Narrator, Christian, Skipper and Charles
* Josh Peck as Eric
* Mike Pollock as Principal Walker
* Gary Sauls as Mr. Goodman and Constantinos
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Edward Felker as Stanley, Luke, Gordon, Igor and Abdul
* Dan Green as Dallas and Bo
* Veronica Taylor as Carver
* Rickey D'Shon Collins as Blake
* Kyle Phillips as Wayne

## Trivia

* The original title for this episode was "With Great Power Comes Great Irresponsibility".
* This episode marks the last time Principal Walker has his original "oblivious authority figure" personality. Throughout the episode after getting kicked out, his sanity decreases.
* The episode's title doesn't appear until Mr. Goodman asks "Who wants cake?".
* This episode is available to watch on The Best of Eric VHS, The Search for the Six and Kids' WB Picks: Volume 2 DVDs, and The Complete Second Season box set.

## Transcript

(The episode opens with a relaxing shot of an island, until it turns out to be a brochure Walker is reading)

**Principal Walker:** Ah, the Cranky Old Timer Island, home to Mount Idontwannadiepleasedonteruptmistervolcano. Where seniors can watch the sunset, relax and do absolutely nothing.

(Mr. Goodman walks in with chocolate cake)

**Mr. Goodman:** (sing-song voice) Who wants cake?

**Principal Walker:** (narrows his eyes and turns his chair away) I didn't order any cake.

**Mr. Goodman:** But sir! It's your birthday.

**Principal Walker:** Well, I think you're worthier of a cake. Besides, I haven't had a birthday in, uhh, 15 years. I'm, like, uh, 29.

**Mr. Goodman:** (counting the candles) 32...45...64... (suddenly, the candle is set ablaze, and he screams bloody murder, dropping it to the ground. He steps on it to put out the flames) You are not 29, sir! You're *old*.

**Principal Walker:** (his eyes widen) Old?! (digs around his pockets) Don't worry, Timothy. I'm still as young as ever. (he takes out his wallet and opens it) Handsome, too, as a young man should be.

(He screams upon seeing his age on his driver's license, which is labeled as "Old". If one were to quickly pause, they can also see his height listed, clocking in at 6'4, as well as his birthday)

**Principal Walker:** Oh no! I AM old!

(His entire body crinkles into dust, but then he spontaneously regenerates)

**Principal Walker:** (closes his eyes) Mr. Goodman... (adjusts his glasses) it's time.

(He is seen extinguishing the burnt cake)

**Mr. Goodman:** You want your cake now, sir?

**Principal Walker:** No, I mean it's *time*. It is time for me to move beyond the restrictive borders of Lakeside. Mr. Goodman, I'm retiring.

**Mr. Goodman:** Retiring to where, sir?

**Principal Walker:** (holds up the brochure) To Old Timer Island, so I can do what I've been putting off for far too long, Timothy -- nothing.

**Mr. Goodman:** But sir, isn't that what you usually-

**Principal Walker:** I must hand the reigns over! (sets a projection screen down the wall, revealing his own family tree) Behold. The cherished Lakeside City School family tree! (pointing to a picture frame) When Horace Mann invented the modern day education system after becoming the Secretary of Education in Massachusetts in 1837, he sought out to create Lakeside City School. And then he passed it down to his son, Da Mann.

**Mr. Goodman:** Yes, I know the story, sir.

(Walker goes down to a photo of a bearded man)

**Principal Walker:** And then he passed it down to HIS son...uhh...

**Mr. Goodman:** Da Womann, sir.

**Principal Walker:** Yeah, something like that. And then he passed it down to his son, who squandered down his inheritance-tance. (pan above to a picture of Walker's grandfather next to the aforementioned son, who has died on a hospital bed) And that's when my grandfather earned his rightful share of the school! Illegally, might I remind you.

(The camera pans left to a picture frame that's scribbled out in black marker, although a portion of someone's portly body, bald head and long mustache can still be seen)

**Principal Walker:** And he passed it to this one cousin of mine who's always trying to capture a blue hedgehog, but he doesn't want me to ever show his face in our family portraits for copyright infringement reasons.

(Pan left to a picture of his dad)

**Principal Walker:** And it was passed to my dad, (pan left again, to a picture of himself looking at his wristwatch with a bored expression) who gave it to me, who, with the deepest love and devotion, shall give the school to my own son!

(Pan left once again, but there is nothing. The tree branch deflates)

**Principal Walker:** (gasps) GOODMAN! I DON'T HAVE A SON! MY PRECIOUS BARREN! (falls to Goodman's knees and cries)

**Mr. Goodman:** But sir, you have three children. Aloysius, Emile, Chip.

(Beat)

(Walker cries harder)

(Cut to Eric entering the office)

**Eric:** Hello? Anybody home? (walks down as he hums to Happy Birthday, and once he reaches Walker's desk, he takes out a present) Happy birthday, Mr. Walker!

**Principal Walker:** (in the background) MY FOREFATHERS! I'M A DISAPPOINTMENT!

**Eric:** I brought you a birthday prese-

**Mr. Goodman:** Um, Eric? Right now is not a good time.

**Eric:** Oh. (unwraps the present wrap) I'll just, (he takes out a picture frame of himself) leave this (hangs it up on the family tree's empty spot) here. (walks away and whistles)

**Principal Walker:** (sniffles) MY GRANDFATHER HAS SIXTEEN CHILDREN TO CHOOSE FROM! (gasps for air) AND MY DAD WAS BLESSED ENOUGH TO HAVE YOURS TRULY! BUT I- (gasps again) I DON'T- (his eyes widen upon noticing Eric's picture frame) have a son? Say, how come I never saw that before?

**Mr. Goodman:** That's Eric, sir.

**Principal Walker:** Eric Pearson is my son?!

**Mr. Goodman:** Uh, wait a minute, sir, he just brought you a gift and hung it up on the-

**Principal Walker:** (repeatedly shakes him) A GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS!!!! Eric is my son, Goodman!

(Camera immediately cuts to Eric outside of the school gates)

**Eric:** Whoa, what?!

**Principal Walker:** Yes, it is true, Eric! (sniffles) Your dear old father has decided it's time to retire. He wants to pass the torch! (shows him a good view of the school) All of this, is now yours.

**Eric:** Wooooooooooow! Who would've thought (takes out a photo of him and Paul, which the camera focuses on, and the photo is captioned "The Greatest Dad in the Whole Wide World") my dad owned all of Lakeside City School? (tears up and sniffles) You really are the greatest dad in the whole wide world. (hugs him)

**Principal Walker:** Now now, spare me the water works. (gently pulls him away) It is time for me to show you what being a principal is all about.

**Eric:** (cutting a tree down with a chainsaw) Would that be confiscating everything in sight and claiming it as yours?

**Principal Walker:** No, not that!

(The tree crushes his golf cart)

**Principal Walker:** EASY THERE!

(Camera transitions to Walker leaving the school in his golf cart, with bags packed)

**Principal Walker:** Well, students, I suppose this is it. Now, I know, some of you may find it difficult to say goodbye to such a-

**Wayne:** Goodbye! (to the rest of the students) Wow! That wasn't too hard.

(Everybody else joins in with saying goodbye)

(Walker frowns)

**Principal Walker:** ALRIGHT! I think that's enough.

(Walker drives towards the gate, but then Mr. Goodman teleports in front of him)

**Mr. Goodman:** Stop in the name of Lakeside City School!

**Principal Walker:** (puts his cart to a screeching halt) Out of my way, Goodman.

**Mr. Goodman:** Aren't you forgetting something?

**Principal Walker:** Oh, you're right! (grabs a rope) What would I do without you? (ties Goodman to the front of the cart) I forgot to bring my retirement assistant along.

**Mr. Goodman:** You can't do this to me!

**Principal Walker:** Well, I certainly can't fit you in the back of my golf cart with all my stuff.

**Mr. Goodman:** (takes out a sheet of paper) All of this stuff is property of Lakeside City School,

(Closeup on the paper, which has a clip art image of Goodman)

**Mr. Goodman:** including *me*!

**Principal Walker:** Great. Isn't this a rotten deal? But if I can't bring any of this stuff all along, then who will?

(Eric pops up behind him, saluting)

**Eric:** Principal Eric, reporting for duty!

(He removes Walker's tie from him and puts it on)

**Eric:** I've always wanted to wear this!

**Principal Walker:** I don't look like that.

(Eric climbs to the top of Walker's golf cart, where all of his bags are)

**Eric:** For my first order of business, I declare today is everyone's birthday!

(The students cheer)

**Eric:** I will order ice cream for delivery at the parking lot within twenty minutes!

(The students continue cheering as they push the golf cart to the parking lot)

**Barry:** (in the background) Happy birthday, Terry!

(A gust of wind passes by)

(Walker becomes increasingly frustrated)

**Principal Walker:** Fine! Go ahead and take all of my stuff away from my possession! I don't care anymore - *I* am a retiring grown-up!

(He inhales and blows a long raspberry, which goes on for thirty seconds)

**Mr. Goodman:** (through the intercom) Attention, civilians. Step up to the gate and approach the window, please.

**Principal Walker:** The front gate has a window?

(Camera pans out to reveal that it has one now)

**Principal Walker:** Funny, I don't remember that being there.

(Walker goes up to the window, and Goodman rises out of it, handing him a plastic bag with items)

**Principal Walker:** What's this?

**Mr. Goodman:** Everything you've originally entered Lakeside City School with.

(A closeup of the bag is shown)

**Mr. Goodman:** One standard issue Lakeside City School principal uniform, fifty-two cents, a traffic violation, and a half-eaten chocolate bar.

(Walker tosses it away)

**Principal Walker:** Principal uniform! Like I need that old thing.

(Beat as Goodman stares down at Walker's torso)

(Camera immediately cuts to Walker in nothing more than his underwear)

**Principal Walker:** I have NEVER been so humiliated in all my life.

(Suddenly, the front gates close, leaving him out of the school)

**Mr. Goodman:** (through the intercom) Your bus to Cranky Old Timer Island will be here shortly. We hope you have enjoyed your stay at Lakeside City School.

(An SUV drives through the road, and an entire family laughs at Walker)

(He gasps and runs into a bush to hide in there)

**Principal Walker:** (angrier than before) What's Lakeside City School? I forgot what that piece of junk was already.

(Back at the school, the students are moving Walker's stuff around and vandalizing the school building, cheering)

**Eric:** (inhales the air and exhales) Clean as a whistle.

(Mr. Goodman approaches him)

**Mr. Goodman:** Uh, Principal Eric, I just want to remind you that the parking lot's ice cream party will be ready soon. Joey has offered to organize the kindling gathering.

(Jason, Grayson, Mason and Hasten are seen lifting a desk above their heads)

**Joey:** That's right. Place that desk on top of Walker's computer.

(They do so)

(Cut back to Eric and Goodman)

**Eric:** (patting Goodman's shoulder) Goodman, Goodman, Goodman. We've been through a lot together, haven't we?

**Mr. Goodman:** (nods) Oh, yes, sir.

(Eric hugs him tightly, cracking his back)

**Eric:** You mean a lot to me, Mr. Goodman.

**Mr. Goodman:** (grunts in pain) I can tell, sir.

(Back outside of the gates, Walker is sitting near the bus stop, with his body covered in the bush from earlier)

**Principal Walker:** (checks his wristwatch) Oh yeah. Any minute now, the bus will sweep me away to bring me to a life of leisure.

(Jason, Grayson, Mason and Hasten are chasing each other with cactuses)

**Principal Walker:** Hey! My pet cactuses! Careful with those!

(Constantinos walks by the gate, whistling)

**Principal Walker:** Hey, Constantinos. Do me a favor, will ya? I need this unlocked so I can go and restore order.

**Constantinos:** (gasps) H-h-how do y-you know my name?!

**Principal Walker:** What? Hello? Earth to Constantinos - it's me, Principal Walker.

**Constantinos:** B-b-b-but...Eric is my principal.

**Principal Walker:** Now, listen here! I'm gonna-

(Constantinos screams bloody murder)

**Constantinos:** ***STRANGER AT THE GATE!!!!!!!!*** (runs away)

(Walker shouts in frustration)

**Principal Walker:** THIS IS ABSURD!!!!

(Suddenly, he notices something, and he takes a peek)

**Principal Walker:** Wait a minute, what are they laughing at?

(Cut to Eric and Goodman laughing together)

**Eric:** Aw, come on, Goodman!

**Mr. Goodman:** No, stop! (laughs) Cut it out!

**Eric:** Just one more hug!

(We see Walker even angrier than ever)

**Principal Walker:** Planned it. They planned it this way all along. That six-foot freak and slaveish maniac meant to steal my school from me!

(He tears up and sniffles)

**Principal Walker:** (narrows his eyelids, still crying) If that's the way you want it,

(Camera zooms out)

**Principal Walker:** YOU CAN HAVE MY LOUSY SCHOOL! ***BECAUSE I'VE GOT CRANKY OLD TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!***