Breakfast With The President (transcript)

This is the transcript of Breakfast With The President, which was released on May 8, 2016.

* *[Bergal and Magence are sleeping in a king-sized bed. A cockerel crows]*
* **Bergal:** I'm hungry.
* **Magence:** Let's go get some breakfast.
* *[Bergal and Magence walk into the kitchen. They sit on some chairs]*
* **Magence:** I'm hungry.
* *['God Save the Queen', which is the national anthem of the UK, starts to play for some reason]*
* **The President:** Good morning, kids!
* **Bergal and Magence:** Good morning, Mr President!
* **The President:** Are you kids hungry?
* **Bergal and Magence:** Yeah!
* **The President:** Do you kids want me to make you breakfast?
* **Bergal and Magence:** Yeah!
* **The President:** Okay, let's make some breakfast.
* *[there is a long pause]*
* **Bergal:** Yea-
* **The President:** Let's use...
* **The Kids:** Eggs!
* *[The president throws the eggs into the pan, causing them to crack]*
* **The Kids:** Bacon!
* *[The president throws the bacon into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Toast!
* *[The president throws the toast into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Ketchup!
* *[the president squirts ketchup all over the toast]*
* **The Kids:** Macaroni and cheese!
* *[the president throws SpongeBob mac 'n' cheese all over the bacon]*
* **The Kids:** Peanuts!
* *[The president gets some peanuts and pours them on the side of the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Rich and Creamy Cream Cheese frosting!
* *[The president pours the cream cheese into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Glory Foods Sensibly Seasoned Lower Sodium 50% less sodium than regular canned tomatoes, okra and corn!
* *[the president puts it in the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Manzanilla pimiento stuffed olives!
* *[the president shakes the olives into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Chunky New England clam chowder!
* *[the president puts the clam chowder in the pan and the top of the can falls into the chowder]*
* **The Kids:** Dog food!
* *[the president throws the dog food into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** Cat food!
* *[the president pours the cat food into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** A pack of 24 crayons!
* *[The president throws the crayons into the pan]*
* **The Kids:** And a party popper!
* *[The president pops the party popper into the pan]*
* **The President:** Then we take the whole thing and put it in the oven.
* *[The kids look at each other in surprise, while the 'breakfast' is cooking in the oven]*
* **The President:** It's done! *[gives Bergal and Magence their food and a bottle of maple syrup. The food is somehow now actual, edible food.*
* **The Kids:** Yeah!
* *[the president walks behind Bergal and Magence and puts his thumb up.*
* **Magence:** I have to use the bathroom.
* *[Bergal tries to eat a piece of toast as Magence walks to the bathroom]*
* **The President:** Is it good breakfast?
* **Bergal:** *[in a funny voice]* Damn, this is a good breakfast!
* *[Magence walks up to the president, dressed as a cop, as the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy theme tune starts to play]*
* **Magence:** Freeze!
* **Bergal:** *[puts his fork down]* She's an undercover cop!
* **Magence:** You're under arrest, Mr President, for stealing those eggs! This time I'm gonna take you down! *[shoots the president]* That's what you get for stealing those eggs!
* **Bergal:** *[as a secret agent]* The president has been shot, I repeat, the president has been shot. *[goes over to Magence with a gun]* Freeze!
* *[Bergal and Magence shoot each other and Bergal kills Magence]*
* **Bergal:** How am I supposed to explain this to the judge? *[steals Magence's piece of toast and runs away]*
* **Little Kids:** Kid's Reactions to Breakfast with the President!
* *[a sign pops up that states that Bergal is 46 years old]*
* **Bergal:** The first thing they do is wake up, and be hungry. Really? Like, sheezus.
* **Magence:** And they made breakfast with, like, crayons, beans...
* **Bergal:** And there's this other guy, who, like, thinks he's the president. He doesn't look like Obama, like, jeez.
* *[a sign pops up that states that Magence is 3 months old]*
* **Magence:** Did she just shoot the president, like, who does that? *[puts her hand up]* She would probably go to, like, jail forever, or maybe she would go to court every day. I don't know, this, this cop, this whole cast is just crazy, I mean, who made up this video anyways?
* *[cuts to the FCCD outro]*
* **Cat in the Hat:** *[voice]*Settle down, I know what you're thinking, even a fire extinguisher-*[crashing sounds]*