The Mad Tea Party (Wendy version)

After walking through the woods, Wendy had finally found a house which she believes could be the Gator Hatter and the March Firefly's house.

"How very curious!" Wendy cried.

She walked to the gate that was the side of the house to see who could be singing. She saw that there was a long table, with a pink tablecloth and many and many teapots and cups and many more things. Sitting around the table were two animals that seem happy.

They were Louis (an obese American one who was over 6 feet tall with a yellow-green muzzle, belly, palms, and soles, a brown olive backline between darker brown scales, black eyebrows, sharp white teeth, yellow and sometimes green eyes, and olive claws) and Ray (a very small and slender Cajun one with holes on his wings, red hair, and very few teeth. He also had a Southern accent mixed with a French accent), and right now, they were singing a song, while steam was coming out of the teapots, playing along with the song.

Ray: *To us*
*A very know what day today is tea forget of us*

Louis: *A very merry unbirthday*

Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*

Louis and Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*
*To uuuuuussss*

As a solo was taking place, Wendy looked from behind the chair and saw the teapots dancing around. She tried to look at the guests of the party, but the steam was in the way. So she looked down through the teapots.

Ray: *Aaaaa*
*Very merry unbirthday*
*To me*

Louis: *To who?*

Ray: *To me!*

Louis: *Oh, you!*

Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*
*To you*

Louis: *Who me?*

Ray: *Yes, you!*

Louis: *Oh, me!*

Ray: *Let's all congratulate us*
*With another cup of tea*
*A very merry unbirthday*
*Toooooooooooooooooooooooo*
*Yooooooouuuuuuuu*

When the song was over, Wendy applauded. Louis and Ray noticed that Wendy was there. They sprang from their chairs and jumped from chair to chair over to her, saying, "No room, no room, no room!"

Wendy sat down on a chair in confusion and protested, "But I thought there was plenty of room."

"Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited!" Ray said.

Louis said in agreement, "I say it's rude! It's very, very rude indeed. Hah!"

A black kitten with a white muzzle and underbelly named Figaro peeked out of a teapot and repeated in a sleepy voice, "Very, very, very rude indeed..."

Wendy figures that they had a point, so she apologized, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I did enjoy your singing and I wondered if you could tell me..."

Ray jumped on the arm of the chair Wendy was sitting on and said, "You enjoyed our singing?"

"Oh, what a delightful child!" Louis said. "Hah! I'm so excited, we never get compliments! You must have a cup of tea."

"Ah, yes indeed!" Ray agreed. "You must have a cup of tea!"

"That would be very nice. And I'm sorry that I interrupted your birthday party." Wendy said, as Ray gave her the tea. "Thank you."

Ray then grabbed the tea back and said, "Birthday? Ha, ha, ha! My dear child, this is not a birthday party."

Then Louis picked up a teapot and poured tea, as he said, "Of course not. He-he-he. This is an unbirthday party."

"Unbirthday?" Wendy said in confusion. "Why, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand."

"It's very simple," Ray explained. "See, thirty days have Sept-no, when..." Ray scratched his head. "An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you..." Then he laughed how hard it is to explain. "She doesn't know what an unbirthday is!"

Louis replied, "How silly... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... Ah-hum..." He coughed a little and used a tea pot to spray some steam to clear his throat. "I shall elucidate!"

Ray used a spoon as a baton to conduct the tea pots into music.

Louis: *Now statistics prove*
*Prove that you've*
*One birthday*

Ray: *Imagine*
*Just one birthday every year*

Louis: *Ahhh*
*But there are over 364*
*Unbirthdays*

Ray: *Precisely*
*Why we're gathered here*
*To cheer*

And, since today wasn't Wendy's birthday, Wendy got up and said, "Well, then today is my unbirthday too."

"It is?" said Ray, looking surprised.

"What a small world this is." Louis commented.

"In that case..." Ray said, before he and Louis jumped out of their seats and started to dance around Wendy.

Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*

Wendy: *To me?*

Louis: *To you*

He moves aside to present a big pink cake trim in white with a burning candle on top.

Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*

Wendy: *For me?*

Louis: *For you*

Louis gives Wendy the cake.

Louis: *Now blow out the candle out, my dear*
*And make your wish come true*

He picks some icing up with his finger and licked it off, with a laugh.

Wendy blew the candle out, and it started to flare like a fuse. In fact, to Wendy's surprise, the cake launched to the sky like a skyrocket.

Louis and Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*
*To*
*You*

The cake exploded with many pretty colors like fireworks, much to Wendy's delight. Out of the smoke, descended Figaro with a tiny umbrella tied on him.

Figaro: *Twinkle, twinkle little bat*
*How I wonder where you're at*
*Up above the world you fly*
*Like a tea tray in the sky*

Figaro landed in a tea pot and Ray closed the pot.

Wendy clapped and said, "Oh, that was lovely!"

Louis dipped his saucer in a teacup and said, "And uh, now my dear, he-he, uh...you were saying that you would like to sit, uh...? Pardon me."

He then took a bite of the saucer. And he continued. "You were seeking some information of some kind...he-he!"

Ray gave Wendy a cup of tea, as Wendy accepted it and said, "Oh yes. You see, I'm looking for a..."

Louis then called out, "Clean cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!" as he threw his cups in the air as did Ray.

Ray grabbed Wendy by the hand and made her stand up and follow.

Wendy said in confusion, "But I haven't used my cup!"

Ray: *Clean cup, clean cup*
*Move down, move down*
*Clean cup, clean cup*
*Move down*

Louis picked up a teapot with three spouts on each level of the height.

As he poured tea in three cups, he asked Wendy, "Would you like a little more tea?"

Wendy tried to get some tea out of a teapot that has no spout, as she explains, "Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more..."

Ray took the teapot, cracked the teapot, and poured tea in Wendy's cup.

"Ahhh, you mean you can't very well take less!" Ray corrected her.

Louis scooped a spoon full of sugar and poured it into Wendy's cup, then poured all the whole sugar pot in the cup, too much, in fact, that it overflowed.

"Yes! You can always take more than nothing!" Louis agreed.

Wendy took the cup and said, "But I only meant that..."

She was about to sip it, but the sugar was not allowing her to.

Louis held four cups of full tea, and tossed a teapot after filling the fourth one on top.

"And now, my dear, something seems to be troubling you," he said, as he took a sip of the teacup at the bottom. "Uh, won't you tell us all about it?"

"Start at the beginning." Ray said.

"Yes, yes," Louis agreed. "And when you come to the end, heh, heh, heh, heh, stop! See?"

"Well, it all started when I was sitting on the riverbank with Marie," Wendy began.

"Very interesting," Ray said, as he drank some tea, but then slammed the tea down quick with an excited expression. "Who's Marie?"

"Well, Marie is my cat," Wendy explained. "You see..."

Right when Wendy said 'cat', Figaro poked his head out of the teacup, as he shouted, "Cat?" and then started to go nuts in panic and started to run around the table.

"Cat! Cat! Cat..." Figaro was crying as everybody except Alice went after Figaro to calm him down. Louis and Ray jumped and grabbed Figaro by the tail.

Ray then said, "Hurry! Get the jam! Quickly! Get the jam!"

Wendy didn't need a second invite and went for the jam.

"On his nose, on his nose!" Louis instructed her, as Wendy scooped some jam up with a knife and smothered it on Figaro's nose, making him calm down, even as he said, "Where's the cat?"

Louis sighed in relief and said, "Oh. Oh, my goodness! Those are the things that upset me!"

Ray poured some tea and stops the pouring by plugging the flow with his butt, as he said, "See all the trouble you've started?"

Wendy received the cup and said, "But, really, I didn't think..."

"Ah, but that's the point," Ray said. "If you don't think, you shouldn't talk!"

Wendy was about to drink her tea, when Louis shouted, "Clean cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!"

"But I still haven't used..." Wendy began to protest, as they moved down.

Ray: *Move down, move down, move down*

"And now, my dear, as you were saying?" Louis.

"Oh, yes," Wendy said. "I was sitting on the riverbank with, uh..." She whispered into Louis' ear, "With you-know-who."

Louis said in excitement, "I do? Heh, heh, heh, heh..."

"I mean my C...A...T..."

Louis then pulled out a teapot and said, "Tea?"

Ray then cut a cup in half with a knife and said, "Just half a cup, if you don't mind." Louis poured Ray some tea into the half cup.

"Come, come my dear," Louis said, with a laugh. "Don't you care for tea?"

"Why, yes," Wendy began, "I'm very fond of tea, but..."

"If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!" Ray said.

"Well, I've been trying to ask you..." Wendy began.

"I have an excellent idea," Ray said, putting a black top hat with a gold ribbon on Louis' head. "Let's change the subject!"

He then bonked Louis' hat onto his head with a mallet.

Louis popped the top of his hat half off and asked, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Wendy then said in confusion, "Riddles? Let me see now. Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Baloo then said, "I beg your pardon?"

"Poe writes on both!" Wendy answered.

Baloo then said in panic, "Poe writes on what?"

Ray jumped on Baloo and said, "Careful! She's stark raving mad!"

Wendy got up and said, "But-but it's your silly riddle! You just said..."

Louis and Ray backed away from Wendy.

"Very good?" asked Louis, as he tried to use a chair to defend himself.

Ray nervously held out a cup of tea, saying, "How about a nice cup of tea?"

Wendy then yelled in frustration, "Have a cup of tea, indeed! Well, I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!"

Ray then shouted out, "The time! The time! Who's got the time?"

Then, Timon came in, saying in panic, "No, no, no, no! No time, no time, no time! Hello, good-bye! I'm late! I'm late!"

Wendy was surprised that the meerkat actually came to this mad tea party, as Wendy said, "The beige meerkat!"

Timon took out his watch and said, "Oh, I'm so late! I'm so very, very late!"

Then, Louis yanked the watch out of the meerkat's pocket, also, yanking the meerkat's neck.

"Well, no wonder you're late," Louis said, as he examined the watch. "Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!"

"Two days slows?" asked Timothy.

"Of course you're late!" Louis said, as he dipped the watch in a teapot then slammed it on the table, removing the face of the watch and laughed, as he said, "My goodness. We'll have to look into this." Louis placed a saltshaker in his eye and looked down at the watch, making salt pour all over the watch. "Aha!" Louis said. "I see what's wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!"

He then started digging out all the gears and springs with a fork. The meerkat couldn't believe what was happening. As if his house being burnt wasn't bad enough.

"Oh, my poor watch! Oh, my wheels! My springs!" Timon yelled, as he grabbed some springs and wheels as one spring got caught on his nose, before he stuttered, "But-but-but-but, but-but-but..."

"Butter," Louis said. "Of course, we need some butter! Butter!"

"Butter!" Ray yelled into Timon's ear.

"But-But-Butter?" Timon said, as he spotted a tray of butter and picked it up.

Louis took the butter from the meerkat and said, "Butter, oh, thank you, butter. Ha-ha. Yes, that's fine."

He then started to spread butter all over the clock's face.

Timon then yelled in panic, "Oh-no-no, no-no-no, you'll get crumbs in it!"

"Oh, this is the very best butter," Louis said, as he slammed the butter in the meerkat's face. "What are you talking about?"

Ray then said, "Tea?"

"Tea!" Louis said, as he poured tea on the watch. "Oh, I never thought of tea! Of course!"

"No!" Timon said, as Louis said, "Tea," and laughed, as the meerkat said, "No! Not tea!"

Ray blocked the meerkat's way with his foot and said, "Sugar?"

Louis replied, "Sugar. Two spoons, yes, ha, two spoons. Thank you, yes."

He took two spoons and slammed them on the watch.

"Oh, please! Be careful!" Timon said.

"Jam?" Ray asked, as he handed the jam to the meerkat.

Louis took the jam from Ray and said, "Jam, I forgot all about jam!"

He poured the jam on the watch and spread it around.

"No, no!" Timon said. "Not jam!"

"Yes, sure you want," Louis said, "it's nice to see."

"Mustard?" asked Ray, as he balanced a jar of mustard on his foot.

"Mustard? Yes, but..." Louis began, before he stopped and said, "Mustard? Don't let's be silly!" He tossed the mustard, took a lemon, and poured it into the clock, as he said, "Lemon, that's different, that's..." Then he closed the watch and used a butter knife to slice off the jam, as he said, "There. That should do it."

Then, the watch started to go haywire and jump around.

"Look at that!" Louis exclaimed.

"It's going mad!" Ray said.

"Oh, my goodness!" Wendy said, looking worried.

"Oh dear!" Timon said.

"It's going mad!" Ray said, as the clock jumped about. "Mad watch!"

"I don't understand," Louis said, "it's the best butter."

"Mad watch! Mad watch! Mad watch!" Ray shouted.

"Oh, look!" Louis exclaimed, as it went crazy. "Oh, my goodness!"

Ray lifted his hammer and said, "There's only one way to stop a mad watch!" He slammed the watch, destroying it completely. Now, it's nothing but a small pile of junk.

Louis stared at it, before he said, nonchalantly, as he passed the watch to Timon, "Two days slow, that's what it is."

"Oh, my watch..." Timon said, getting all teary-eyed.

"It was?" asked Louis.

"And it was my unbirthday present too..." Timon added.

"Well, in that case..." Ray said, as he and Louis grabbed the meerkat and prepared to throw him out of the garden.

Louis and Ray: *A very merry unbirthday*
*Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*
*You*

Louis and Ray tossed Timon out of the garden and waved goodbye to him as Wendy tried to catch up to the meerkat.

"Mister Meerkat!" Wendy yelled, as she ran out of the party. "Oh, Mister Meerkat! Oh, now where did he go to?"

Then, she heard the tea party song again.

She turned and glared at Louis and Ray, before she stormed off and Wendy muttered, "Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life."