Episode 7: No title No art

No title or artwork or description for this episode because Nate and Tom rushed me. Sorry everyone.

## Episode Summary

Tom is a Webmaster/hacker who just loves to antagonize 70 year old ladies in online poker. Nate is totally not watching Basketball and takes notes of all the crazy things that happen in these episodes. Drew is Canadas host, he enjoys rapping.

A little kid runs around the beach, he's hungry and lost his floaties.

The dad gets a text and tells his wife "take care of lunch!" and just walks away. In his hotel room, he meets some guy who wants something from him. He doesn't take any shit and shoots him, in his hotel room. Splat on the mirror. Easy to clean this whole thing up before the wife and kids show up and smoosh the corpse into a suitcase, and bringing his Kid the floaties without much fuss.

This cuts to Clayne being high and possibly drunk af having a wet dream (majestically acting scared/horny/in complete disbelief - clayne is able to act this all out with his mere facial expressions.) with his wife and/or a dog in his trailer. Potentially Poopiepies dog, who got left when the swedes got towed away in episode 6 as we all remember. The dog was left there...or maybe they just wrote that in. Nate is pretty sure that it's the same dog.

Trish (Murtaughs wife) is out of town, so Roger has the next few nights off and wants to go on a bender weekend - but then suddenly the babysitter calls and says she has food poisoning. Murdoch is a great father so he is fine with this, but shortly after he gets called on a case, and he has to take the baby with him.

The Body is found stuffed in a duffel bag in the middle of ~~Chinatown~~ the garment district.

Riggs, Murtaugh and Det. Bailey (Sonya) show up at the crime scene, but Clayne just walks away nonchalantely.

I guess he stalks some Asian Americans. They end up in these peoples store, a Laundry shop, and Rog leans against a wall that ends up being freshly painted -getting some red stains on his nice vintage shirt!

They chit-chat with the family inside, but eventually end up chasing the guy from before, which I totally mentioned, in the Truck and the pink bunnies. They chase after the Truck, Riggs runs on foot and jumps & grapples onto the truck via a chain hanging from its rear end - and gets dragged along the street.

He gets dragged along until eventually the truck crashes and a footchase ensues as a bomb-ass Vo Williams song plays. Just as Riggs is about to catch Hong, some Karen opens her Door and trips Clayne - letting the driver escape.

Turns out, this Karen was a D.E.A. Agent, in fact her name *is* Karen! Palmer! She was tracking these Bunnies, or at least...people behind the bunnies. Riggs and Murtaugh tripped upon this investigation by chance.

Pamer, Riggs and Murtaugh head to the police station where Captain Avery informs Karen that the Murder investigation will continue, regardless of her little investigation.

Scorsese shows Rog a heavily edited video (directed by him) which might show the same red paint on the victims scalp as the one that stained murtaughs vintage shirt in the Hongs Shop. He figures they must be doing crimes in the shop so they put up a flimsy fake wall to conceil these illegal acts.

They head back to the shop without a warrant and Riggs ends up breaking into the Hongs Building and, after shooting a few rounds into the red wall decides burst through to the other side. Behind it they don't discover the criminals, however in the darkness Rog and Riggs end up finding a shitload of Cash (like 9 Million dollars) ensuing in a nice press conference for Avery (fake James Spader) in the Hongs place of business in the middle of the night.

Back in Avery Office Riggs figures out the "those hongs" were peso brokers. Shout out to Keith from Keithlovesmovies.com, the honorary 4th host. All this time the sole DEA Agent/Karen is hanging around the LAPD. It's fine. She's there alone, no backup - no other DEA agents available in L.A.

Back in the Lab, Scorsese shows Cruz a 3D rendering of a single grain of Sand which was found on the Victims body (on one screen, the rendering is rotating for some reason). Cruz like most of us doesn't care, but Scorsese texted the image of the sand grain *to his sand guy*, and traced it to a Club that imported special Hawaiian sand to be like totally cool (it's an L.A. thing). Scorsese is a real jerk to Cruz after he says he's seen worse than the mangled corpse in the duffel bag, asking him if that was when he was in the Locos (his old Gang). Cruz ignores this slight and counters "at the Academy. In Forensics class."

Cruz 1 : Scorsese 0.

Tom has a heightened and accurate Cruz impression which he's yet to perform on the podcast. Maybe in a patreon bonus episode...

Our crackpot CSI team informs Riggs and Murtaugh about the sand and the bar, so they drive there. A hostess hands them a tablet with video surveillance, and Roger orders a Virgin Daquiri. No warrants needed for sexy Clayne! Or maybe she was racially profiling Damon wayans? Anyway on the video they see a guy stuffing a bag into a Minivan - our victim and his Killer. Clayne zooms in on the Dashboard to learn the Minivan is a rental, so it surely is LoJacked, meaning it could be tracked via GPS. They may be able to find it - just maybe..

They find the van. There it is!

What a good show.

They follow the Van which suddenly pulls up across from Karen (the DEA Agent) who's parked in front of a Hotel. She's found the Hongs and has them in the back, but oh no! the hitman points a huge high caliber automatic rifle out of the window straight at Karen. Riggs being a genius crashes his car into hers, to which Karen says "You hit me!". Eventually Clayne shouts "DUCK!" and sometime later the Hitman shoots the gun but misses because clayne pushed Karens car back 5 inches. Guess he's not so good at aiming with one hand! This is not even 18 minutes into the episode. Very sad about missing his targets the Hitman drives off. Clayne checks on Karen and there may be some chemistry between them...or they're still in a daze and clayne can't express emotions. After all he did just drive straight into the line of machine gun fire, and saved the pretty ladies life. Sometimes he does that.

They interrogate the Hongs and figure out the plot and he gives him the name of the Cartel contact they were working with, Bambi Morgenstern.

Karen wants to follow her for a bit, so they decide to do a stakeout at the purse store she owns/works at. Murdoch can't come because he's got a poker night with the boys! Sadly everyone cancels on him so he eats all the food he had prepared and falls asleep.

After presumeably 18+ hours of surveillance, Riggs has had enough and grabs a bug and heads straight into the store. Inside, he puts on a real southern accent and pretends to buy a bag for his wife. But of course as soon as she asks about his wife he gets a flashback and freezes up. Luckily Palmer (Karen) busts in and manages to extract Riggs without much fuss. Not willing to stop interfering with the DEAs case Clayne storms into the office and asks Cruz to somehow look scarier than he already does. They make him dress up as a gangsta and scare Bambi in her store. She freaks like she just saw Nosferatu and calls her Cartel handler to organize a meeting. On the way to her car she somehow knows the phone is bugged and throws it into a glass of water, preventing her being tracked.

So instead of planting a new bug on the car, Clayne jumps into Bambis trunk. Bad Idea, since as soon as she shows up to the meeting, the Cartel guy shoots into the trunk, narrowly missing our hero. Just before firing another round, he gives Clayne a chance to get out, which he does.

Suddenly he's being tortured which Bambi objects to - so the Hitman just shoots her point blank in the face. Back to the torture. Riggs is being waterboarded lebowski style and has flashbacks to his dead wife. He's so close. Too bad this is the worlds most incompetent Hitman.

When he mentions Murtaugh and his family however, Riggs somehow breaks free of his upside down chains and knocks back the Hitman in one move. The cartel killer has no more guns so he just runs away as hitmen do. After a brief chase he has Clayne at gunpoint. But still can't take a shot for some reason taking his sweet time.

Finally, Karen arrives in a car and bumps into them or something and the Hitman is incapacitated, but Riggs got a car parked on him, happens more than you think. It's played for laughs and they arrest the guy.

Back to Dr. Cahill (played by friend of Tom and Nate Jordana Brewster) fixing all of Claynes problems. She sets him straight and let's him go.

Karen shows Riggs a map of all the Cartel operations in the State or the Country and she's the only one who can stop it. That's a big swamp.

He shows up to Murtaughs beautiful house, where they finish the last night of his bender. The stray Dog he called 'Wolf' comes in and pisses on the carpet, but our heros are passed out watching the three stooges or something.

Rating at least 8/10, plus an extra point for ARRROOOOOOWWWWWWWW.

No raps in this episode. None for public consumption at least. Hands up!

## Notable Quotes

### Nate

* [to Drew]"You are..dead sexy."
* "I was born ready."
* "I've never been this energized by a series."
* "I gotta know what Drew thinks about the Eternals. And I need to know about 6 times a day."

### Tom

* "Everyday's a present when you're with Drew, because he's such a gift."
* "I wish I could slap you..."
* "Nothing wrong with doing impressions!"

### Drew

* "I've been nothing but sweet."
* "Are all of your [DEA] Agents so beautiful?"
* "That's not one dimensional! This is a new dimension! All of a sudden I'm rapping on my podcast about lethal weapon."
* "It's called 'Ugly-hot'. People have called me ugly-hot."

## Trivia

Nate has invested his childrens school funds in racist NFTs, which will surely pay out big time. Drew keeps all his raps in an untitled text document. Tom loves Hold 'em poker.

## Clayne-foreCasting

"sweaty" (a movie about the life and crimes of Jamie Sweaty) will win at least 1-3 oscars, the other oscars will be won by AMP

There will be bonus episodes and in these bonus episodes a sand-tracker/DEA Agent will be one of many guests.

Levon will design some ClayneCast merch eventually

Raps are being cooked

Our hosts will at some point go on a road trip to Murpheys Village, S.C.