Episode 135

"*(Obama) is the largest sponsor of terrorism. Think about what he did at Benghazi!*"
—TJ Kirk
**Episode 135** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. In this episode TJ finally opens the door behind him effectively destroying the galaxy from the asshole out. Scotty Cena shrugs. The hosts also announced their plans for the construction of the new Heaven.

## Highlights

* Butt King reveals the evils of athiesm.
* Vigilant Christian reveals Hulk Hogan's sex tape as Satanic.
* America is on their way to getting nuked.
* Gail finds Waldo.

## Videos Played

* plese help me find a real life or internet girlfriend thank you
* If the GOVERNMENT wants my GUNS .. they can have them ... BULLETS FIRST!!
* God is Supreme Moral Justice
* Our country is Doomed.
* Where's Waldo?
* Update.....Z
* WWE FIRED Hulk Hogan for Using N-Word To Describe Daughter’s Boyfriend
* Will Jews Kill Iran Deal?
* (Unfinished)

## Start of the Show

The Drunken Peasants who are quite sober begin the show on the blue planet known as Earth as part of a species of mammals with the special evolutionary advantage of being able to contemplate the universe. So they shill their Patreon.

They start with a *Troll Or Not A Troll* segment featuring a fabulously gender-undefined person looking for an internet girlfriend. The Peasants then move on to Posh Fearstein who doesn't understand why people are talking about gun control when there is a shooting every week. Fearstein then, paranoid as he is, claims we need guns to oppose tyrants.

They then went onto bring ~~a stupid fucking faggot named~~ Nexus. Because Ben hates the audience they then played a Butt King video about atheists and how they support killing babies, which is an inaccurate since we EAT babies mainly.

They then move onto a video by SouthernPrepper1 who is hated by SouthernPrepper2 and 4. He claims America is doomed because vague leaders have not represented the people, the redneck xenophobic people. Next up on the chopping block is the deliriously sexy Gail Chord Schuler announcing one of her husbands has gone missing. The peasants then cover G Man's channel update video where he tells everyone that he is has a rough schedule. The sun's the same / In a relative way / but he's older.

NEXT IS THE VIGILANT CHRISTIAN. Today, Mario exposes the link between the Hulk Hogan racist sex tape scandal and the Satanic Illuminati New World Order members. Mario claims that the Powers That B are trying to create a race war! How fabulous that Atheism\_Is\_Unstoppable to have such a similar intellectual greatness who attest to his theory.

## Middle of the Show

Next up is Brother McNazi who criticizes Israel for criticizing Iran's nuclear deal with the US. In the video a Republicunt accuses Iran of supporting Islamic terrorism, even though they are a majority Shi'ia nation and most forms of Islamic terrorist organizations are Sunni. They then go onto an article that states that a burrito proves atheists wrong. The wisdom of Taylor Swift is similar. TJ was greatly impressed by the article and Nexus cried every tiem.

The subsequent article is about air conditioning and whether the temperature is sexist due to women's different experience in hot and cold. They then took a break and ejected Nexus out into the vacuum of space and told the audience to like the video and check out Jo-Jo's clown shop.

### **Musical Break!**

They play a song by Sex Twister about ejaculation and incestuous lesbian strap-on dildo sex. Following is everyone's favorite American classic, Hobo Anal, which I bet smells like vinegar and cheese. The song that comes next is the huge prom song of 1987, *Rock My Cock.* Then they play the party anthem that all the college kids love, *-Incoherent Gibberish- Motherfucker Yeah!* The subsequent song is the Southern anthem about anal bleeding, water sports, hermaphrodites, and fecal feeding blowjobs. The last song was *Cock-o-Whore* about a prostitute who smokes crack cocaine. They abruptly break the beautiful music for Ben to shill shirts like a Cock-o-Whore.

## End of the Show

On the theme of nukes and shit, Mike Fuckabee is in trouble with the Anti-Defamation League about his statements about the Iran Nuclear Deal saying it will lead to the Holocaust. Continuing from there we see Barack Obama lay the verbal smackdown on Mike Fuckabee and Donald Trump. Next on the agender, is a Fox News video where they play victim of persecution for controversy over having "In God We Trust" on the back of a police car in Missouri.

Everyone then talked over the opposing opinion and tried to dominate the conversation, AKA the Fox News Stratagem. Everyone viewing this with any brain felt the need to destroy it by bashing it into the nearest wall. If you survived this, then you won't the next! Because Mike Fuckabee II: The Reckoning is on! Mike Fuckabee says he's a believer without a trace, but the man interviewing him quotes liberal Bible quotes and how they disagree with his ideology.

Detroit enveils a Satanic statue of Baphomet! Of course Christians got pissy and started to complain about it incessantly. Still, it was erected and uptight Facebook Christians everywhere armchair protest with #ChristianTears. Christians everywhere cry oceans of tears and blub-blub-blub down their river. Once that dried up we went onto a 700 Club video featuring the Ancient Robertson on why God didn't smite the U.S. Supreme Court Justices for abortion and other decisions. Robertson claims that abortion was used as a way for the powerful to oppress the "blacks and less fortunate". Such blacks are praised in the next video where Russia and African nations are praised for oppressing LGBTQ people. Fascism is great!

## Trivia

* TJ sympathizes with libertarian freedom arguments on guns, but can't believe how gun control is not a legitimate discussion with mass shootings every day in the United States.
* Josh Feuerstein calls triggers "freedom switches".
* Josh Feuerstein blames forks for being overweight.
* Brett Keane thinks people "abort each other".
* File:Josh funny face.png  Nexus attacked The Stallion's family.
* The Jesuits murdered Robin Williams.
* TJ would meditate on the street to transcend hunger if he was homeless.
* Burritos prove atheism wrong.
* Office air conditioning is an example of the patriarchy.

## Quotes

* *"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."* - Joshua Feuerstein on God.
* *"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition."* - Joshua Feuerstein
* *"Yeah."* - Nexus making a stellar contribution to a conversation.
* *"I'm trying Canadian."* - Nexus can't do accents.
* *"I hate Canada."* - TJ
* *"No borders, no country!" -* SouthernPrepper1
* *"Once Jews get a taste for power, they never retire."* - Brother Nathanael
* *"Lord, if I make it, I'll totally give up Quesaritos."* - TJ
* *"Die of AIDS."* - TJ to Nexus, who said he'd try.
* "(*Israel) is America's little kid."* - TJ
* *"Is Mike Huckabee turning into Bill O'Reilly or what?"* - TJ

 Episodes

**Guest:** 148 • 150