Orc Warriors of Legend: Episode 1

This is a fan parody series, called the Orc Warriors of Legend.

## Prologue

Illuminating the night sky with their tremendous light, were iridescent celestial bodies who existed to guide the people, transcendent guardians who protected the weak. Their infinite, cosmic glow caused the lands to flourish, thrive with life beyond our understanding. And so, ancient humans lusted after these powers, sowing the seeds of violence, tainting the vibrant moonflower fields with their foul-smelling innards, their black bile.

But suddenly! The earth split apart, filling with torrentuous aqua and reforging to hellish flames, as the savage winds cleansed the evil that had tormented the planet. Indeed, it was not until the celestial beings interfered with all their might, did the fighting end. With their powers diminished, however, the gods fell into a deep slumber, taking the form of two moons, overseeing the good men left standing. With the future of humanity entrusted to these men and women, civilization was rebuilt, of which we know today as the Craven Tribe.

## Chapter 1

"...or at least, that's how the legend goes."

"It's more of an old, boring fairy tale, than anything."

A discussion about the authenticity of a millennia-old story was brewing in the dimly-lit quarters of our debater duo, who each held conflicting standpoints regarding the subject at hand. In the midst of dead night, the heated chitter-chatter of the siblings grew so rapidly, that it seemed to dispel the creeping coldness.

"A fairy tale! You dare spout such nonsense... when we have a *freaking* magicalportal right in the middle of city square that spits out resources at the rate of who-knows-what?"

"For Verdant's sake, Toktl... sure, magic may be a thing, but that doesn't mean a tale so flawed, so incoherent, and so outrageous, is bound to be true."

"And what, Kahtl? You can explain it with your so-called, science?"

"Don't you dare belittle science with your ignorant fairy tale, Toktl! You really want me to think that those floating rocks up in the sky, are your stupid gods?!"

"Oh my Rubeus~! You cursed the gods, so the gods will curse you! Who's the ignorant one now, Kahtl?!"

"Why is it so hard to reason with you?!"

"Probably because you are wrong?"

"You... you..."

"Hmm...?"

"IDIOT!"

"HUH? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

"IDIOT! STUPID!" Kahtl made a funny face.

"NO, YOU! DUMMY!" Toktl made another funny face.

Their (somewhat) intelligent debate hastily dwindled down into incessant insanity involving name-calling, insults, even slurs inappropriate for their age. Instead of focusing on the mathematical content laid out neatly on their desks and being the studious children their parents had hoped them to be, they simply devolved... into monkeys.

Eventually all this bickering and rambling exploded into furious sound... and unfortunately for the siblings, this sound was picked up by a very, *very* annoyed mother, whose impending footsteps were drowned out by all the rage and buzz emanating from the room. And thus, the siblings persisted on with their childish squabble, oblivious to the world, almost as if the one thing they were fighting for was working to their disadvantage.

"Toktl! Kahtl! What's with all the noise?!"

Jolted open with such tremendous force, the door hinged on to dear life. The flurry of winds generated from its swing were enough to snap the two idiots out of their long-winded dispute, and back to their senses, as they slowly came to realize that what stood before them was neither the gods from the tale, nor was it human, but rather, it was...

"A demon!"

"HUH? Watch your mouth, Toktl!"

"Sorry."

"Now, if I may interject... just what the hell were you two doing up here?"

"It's nothing Mom, just some intellectual discussion about the theory of rela-"

"Zip it, Kahtl! You're always lying when you make that weird face."

Indeed, she was making a weird face, almost as if it was crooked in several areas.

"Now, Toktl, tell me..."