Lord Birchard Python II

*"That's how it \*\*\*\*ing feels!!"* - The Feeble King (I)

**Lord Birchard Python** is a supporting character in *Wars of Frozen Flames* and the head of House Python during the late fifteenth century. Despite this, he is one of the least wealthy nobles of the time, having lost much of his inheritance to his much wealthier and more powerful half-cousin, Lord Berwick Python. He first appears in King John Koopa VI's cabinet in "The Feeble King (I)". He is loud and short-tempered, which seems to have originated from the streak of bad luck he has had throughout his life. He also has a bald head, a major source of mockery among the other nobles, especially his half-cousins, and often becomes furious with rage at the most minor insults against him.

Lord Birchard Python is based on Ralph Neville, 2nd Earl of Westmorland.

## History

### Backstory

Birchard Python was born as the first child of Sir Jorgon Python, also being the first grandchild of Lord Birchard Python I, being the heir of the Python House. However, after Birchard's grandmother Lady Hariah Sylver died in the year 1416, Birchard's grandfather remarried to Lady Joanna Phoenix, who was of a wealthier family than Hariah, being of the Koopa family through her father Prince Blayne, which in turn caused the elder Birchard to favor the children and grandchildren who were descendants of Joanna and him. This caused the Python house to divide itself into two branches upon the elder Birchard's death: the senior branch being lead by Birchard himself, and the junior branch lead by the eldest of Birchard's grandfather's children by Joanna, also named Birchard. The Senior branch saw far more benefits than the Junior branch, which drove Birchard bitter and resentful of his half-relatives.

Birchard's family issues eventually led to him becoming stranded from his relatives, who found his constant entitlement and insults to be annoying. It is known that at some point, Birchard lost all of his hair, which became a major source of mockery among the nobility and the other Pythons, especially Sir Torrence Python.

Birchard was married off to Lady Bethany Blackfoot, and together they had a son whom they named Jorgon. Birchard's father had died shortly after the Blackfoot rebellions, and upon his grandfather's death, he became the head of House Python. In spite of this, he saw far less titles and holdings than his half-relatives. Birchard gained a spot in King John Koopa VI's royal cabinet, but his short-temper, loudness, streak of bad luck and the fact that he was among the least wealthy members of the cabinet caused him to not be taken seriously by others.

### The Feeble King

#### Part I

Birchard first appears during the royal cabinet meeting, being annoyed at King John Koopa VI's incompetence and cowardness. Later on during Lord Richard Koopa's arrival, he wonders why the anarchists cheer for Richard but not him, with his half-cousin Berwick telling him that no one is going to cheer for a minor Lord such as himself, which causes Birchard to insult him and complain about his and Torrence's heritage being his.

Birchard shows up again during the Loveday feast, where he accidentally bumps into Torrence and spills his wine all over himself. Richard tries to calm him down, only for Birchard to insult him too because of his marriage to his half-aunt Tulisa, as he hates all of his royal relatives. Later on when the nobles start pulling out swords to defend their factions, Birchard pulls out his while screaming that he hates everyone present at the feast.

#### Part II

Birchard appears in the cabinet meeting regarding the regency council in response to John VI getting passed out. He appears to be for Sigmund becoming regent and rants about not getting a say in anything when Berwick states that Richard should get a say in who becomes a regent. Berwick mentions that Birchard could've contested the agreement but Birchard angrily claims that his men were surrounding him. When Richard seizes Sigmund and declares himself as regent, Birchard angrily asks why they should serve him and Richard responds that his men would be happy to escort Birchard and have him join Sigmund, angering Birchard.

Sigmund appears in the second cabinet meeting in the episode hosted by Richard. He is shown insulting Lord Symon Blackfoot in his absence. He then mentions that refugees from Oho Oasis were trying to break into his Cockmouth Castle and is insulted by Torrence telling him that no one wants to break into his castle, to which he insults back. He is also shown to oppose Richard's decision for the lords to turn over some of their lands to help the refugees, refusing to turn over what's left of his inheritance, to which Berwick says it's up to them to fix the King's mistakes only for Birchard to claim that it's easy for the most wealthiest person in the realm to say.

#### Part III

Birchard is present in the cabinet meeting where John VI returns from his coma. When Sylver suggests that they are all more than happy to have Lord Sigmund back in his place at the King's side, Birchard says he is not. When Berwick asks John VI how he plans to pay off the realm's debt in response to John VI announcing that they'll be giving back all the lands they gave to the throne, Birchard asks him to shut up and let them keep their lands. Birchard shows relief of Berwick and Torrence leaving the cabinet meeting and says they should give Berwick's role as Warden of the Ocean Lands to someone more deserving but is infuriated when Sigmund chooses Lord Blackfoot's son Ronan.

Birchard appears in the great council meeting. When Symon mentions that Lord Berwick will be linking up with Lord Richard, Birchard claims that he warned them not to trust him only for Hayez to say that he wouldn't call whining about losing his lands to him warning them, enraging Birchard who tells Lord Blackfoot to control his family.

##### Battle of Whomp City

During the Battle of Whomp City, Birchard is seen viciously slaying some Sword Bros. but does not play a very significant in the battle. His sons are seen fighting in the battle however whilst his brothers are seen in Herard's flank.

## Appearance

Birchard is a slender draconic Koopa with dark-yellow skin, a black bald head, which is a major source of mockery among the other characters, and has a violet beard and moustache, with four prominent fangs sticking out his mouth. He has brown eyes with yellow sclera and has the purple Python birthmark on his face. He wears a violet shell with pale yellow spikes, the spikes being surrounded by golden rings. He wears a gold necklace with a red jewel hanging from it and a pair purple spiked cuffs, one on each arm, to match with his beard and shell.

## Personality

Birchard is shown to be loud, aggressive, and with a furious temper. He is shown to be greatly jealous of his Junior Python relatives, Lord Berwick, Sir Torrence and Sir Jorgon Python, showing animosity to them almost all the time. He brings up his lack of inheritance at almost every opportunity, proclaiming Seafoam Castle to be "[his], by right" during Lord Richard Koopa's arrival, and throwing insults at Berwick & Torrence at almost every opportunity. He can also be seen trying to hold back his tears whenever he is insulted back. His hatred extends to others as well however; he ignores the advice of Richard for being "in bed with one of them," referencing his marriage to Tulisa, a member of the Junior Python branch and Birchard's half-aunt, and yells out that he hates everyone during the Loveday Feast. His anger likely stems from his unfortunate background, and he remains one of the most unlucky characters in *Wars of Frozen Flames*, being constantly mocked for being "a minor lord of Ocean Side" in his cousin Berwick's words, and spilling wine all down himself after walking into Torrence, with Torrence himself barely spilling anything.