Expanse

For us Martian brothers chewing the dust, a big issue with your Earther TV show the **Expanse** is that we just can't figure out why our country is portrayed as this "congressional" freak show full of goddamn willies, you know, pain-in-the-ass douchebags of the Swiss Confederacy.

By the way yeah, this shit is our Game Of Thrones as of 2022 - arguably the most popular program of Mars One, so let's just take it personally!! Every goddamn episode is followed by fierce political confrontations within the Republican Youth Front.

Our nation was built by rowdy sand gypsies riding bulky nuclear tanks, not these fashy bourgie twats with all their fancy terraforming shit! There is a very limited amount of terraforming achieved on Mars thus far, with most of our buildings being completely brutalistic even from the inside. The average citizens of the Mars Republic are much more like the Belters of this show.

Especially the two rival Martian mobs: the honorable old-school Fideltas versus the Reaver slum-dwellers who follow those who blew the Vatican with their nuke. Reaver towns are often raided by the Mars Republican Army helped by Fidelta gangs to grab some kids up for the Kindertransport program.

The only people who give a damn about your bullshit Earther oceans are the uppity go-getter middle class families who are indeed a bit like the "mickeys" on the show. But the average Martin on the street? Nah!! We need fresh water here, assholes, not your goddamn salty shit! We wanna see your stupid oceans back on Earth where they belong, whenever we pesky Marty tourists fuckin' please.

## Ranisch equivalent

Panta Rhei, the best-selling space romance (RC: "Апостолык Идыл") on Ranigan 4K with trillions of viewers & literally more than forty thousand episodes as of 2022, is kind of similar with its seemingly mundane stories of relatable characters trying to solve relatable problems for all of us to learn from their mistakes.

New seasons are written in English for quite a while now, but there are subtitles in hundreds of languages & the audio can also be switched to some of them. Most of the flight crews I've met so far are watching it in English because of the language's newfound popularity, with Ranathan Creole subtitles underneath.

## National Navy

Mars NN Donnager was named as an hommage to the show, with the faces of our 2 favourite characters Alex Kamal & Roberta Draper painted right on the hull for everyone to see! The Donny was commandeered in early 2017 by a whole army of Fidelta mobsters led by Julian Lensky in the flesh, released from jail in late 2016. Here's an interesting dialogue from the Lorelai navigation deck...

VADIM: Donna gheeer?? Vot eta da!! Wait, who are that handsome couple on the hull?

DML: (laughs) They are not a couple, asshole, and it's Donnager. The flagship of the Martian navy in the Expanse.

VADIM: Ah yeah, the television thing! I get it, thanks.

VATI: Watcha beratnas talkin about? Dis ain no flagship of maas enen, habibi, I know dat even as MMP gangsta from Ganymede.

DML: (radio) Hello, Donnager! This is the Lorelai. Anything we can do for you guys?

DONNAGER: (crass asian accent) Good morning, comrades, the Donnager is now the MRA troop carrier Piper Steve. Khorosho?

DML: Pipás Pista? WTF???

DONNAGER: Pipasch. Yeah, please just give us a moment, our captain is coming as fast as he can to give you a briefing! You guys gonna see some action today, I'm afraid!! (Donnager out)

DML: Thank you, Pishta, we figured that out by now... (sighs) Who the fuck was that?? Congressional navy, god damn it, guys, gimme a break! I know it's not... From the TV show, damn you, the Expanse!!!

VATI: (angry) Nem tudom, bazmeg!! Me no watchin da tube, sasa ke? Me watchin dataz of maas in brothel. Watch out, mashan comrade, you become home office Lufthansa meatball soonah dan ya think if ya get hooked on all dat nerd shit!

DML: (laughs) Yeah, right! Did you say beratnas?

VADIM: (very sardonic) I'm afraid it's too late to worry about that in Danny's case.

DML: Yo, fuck you guys! You are literally quoting from the show, Vati, you are using words from the goddamn show!!!

VATI: I hear these words from friends of mine, sorry to disappoint! So you say it comes from this... Expanshon?

Here, Julian Lensky's message appears on my screen.

DML: Yep! Expanse... (raises voice) Hey, guys! Guys! What the fuck is that video from Julian Lensky? Jade! Hey, Jewish princess!!! Why is your dad calling?

JADE: I'm standing right behind you, honey! Yeah, it's my dad calling. Alright, everybody shut the fuck up! Put it on screen!!

And the rest is history.