Miss Pat Crowe (Matron)

**Pat Crowe** is the Matron in all 3 seasons of That’ll Teach 'Em, she is very strict with presentation, going as far as to point out a student with their fly or top button undone. However she's also very caring to everyone, she expressed worry and concern in Series 1 when Nadia wasn't eating the food and only living off of bread and occasionally potatoes, this led to convincing Nadia to leave the school in case things got worse. She's also willing to bend the rules a little, this instance occurred in Series 1 where she gave Seraphina some talcum powder, this led to a hug. She's one of the only members of staff to be praised for her soft side towards students and giving them a chance to do something.

## Quotes

### Series 1

* **Matron:** I am Matron. It is my responsibility to send you to school each day looking immaculate. Please be warned that I'd give a penny fine for dirty shoes. Some of you look like ragamuffins. I'm going to show you how to make your bed. Watch carefully, the woe betide you, if you do not.

**Matron:** That is how your bed will look tonigh

(to Tom Jewell) What's this? Fasten it properly! Look! And your fly is open, for GOODNESS' sake!

**Matron:** Zh-zh-zhut. Get it up and do it properly. (MESSES UP Elgood's bed)

**Matron:** Why you boys not fastening your flyers properly? I can spot a fly unfastened a mile away! TRUST **ME!**

* (to Walne) Put your trousers up. Tuck your shirt in! I don't- Pull your your trousers up and tuck your shirt in! Now take that snigger off your face! **TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN, or do you want me to do it FOR YOU?** Come on, get this bed made.

Crinkly beds, crinkly beds! I can do- DON'T YOU SIT ON THAT BED, YOUNG LADY!

### Series 2

#### Episode 3

* **Matron:** Matron is on the landing, again! I am coming in your dormitory!
* Okay.
* **Matron:** Are you stupid?!
* No, ma'am.
* **Matron:** Well, get on! Get up off there. It's wrinkled. It's all wrinkled. Get it done properly. Pajamas aren't folded up. What's all this?
* Scouts kit.
* **Matron:** Get it folded up properly.
* **Narrator:** Ladies man, Harvey Herdman almost gets away with it.
* **Matron:** Teeth. Ears. Dirty! Hair.
* **Harvey Herdman:** I've just been flattening it down with brill cream, miss.
* **Matron:** Not enough. Get it combed.
* **Narrator:** But Matron's worst wrath is reserved for giggler Alex Roberts.
* **Matron:** What's this?! Fold it up, put it underneath your pillow! This is all a mess! It's your scout kit that's all in a mess! Get it sorted!
* **Alex Roberts:** Have you seen my tie, Matron?
* **Matron:** Oh no, I haven't. But your bed is a mess also! Get it sorted, Roberts! Have you got anything else to say to me, or do you and I understand each other?
* **Alex Roberts:** *[indistinct mumble]*
* **Matron:** No, I didn't hear you.
* **Alex Roberts:** I understand, Matron.
* **Matron:** Thank you.

### Series 3

#### Episode 1

*(as Brennon Gunston prepares to leave Charles Darwin Grammar)* He's probably a mummy's boy, but I don't think Gunston's given it long enough. And I think that he's...he's thrown in the towel far too quickly, and I tried to explain to him that once you've walked through the gate, you can't come back

#### Episode 3

*(after Scott Peters, Nathan Anidugbe, and Qadeer Razaque cause trouble during a music lesson)* I thought they were on a nice, even keel, but they just tipped over yet once again. Peters is gardening, Nathan is doing all of the ironing, Razaque is cleaning my copper and my silver. I am so cross!

#### Episode 5

*(after trying to comfort Victoria Buxton over Scott Peters' expulsion)* I don't think there's very much wrong with Victoria at all. I think she's a lovesick brazen *hussy* who's basically wasting time crying, when she should be in revision.