Jennifer's Bargie

## Summary

The crew encounters a highly skilled navigator of the info web. Bargie has an identity crisis. Nermut needs a device. Dar makes a list.

## Plot

Nermut is struggling to get onto the window sill so he can stare into space. Pleck gives his a boost and asks if everything is okay. Nermut feels like he is missing his purpose when he can't assign missions. Pleck assures him that they still need missions, given to them by a master missions operations manager. Bargie interrupts to warn them against using her name, no one can call her Bargie anymore in case people are listening. Nermut needs a Missionator to be able to assign missions as it contains all the hard data needed to assign missions. Bargie insists they need to change her identity, she has found someone called Flix Dunker who is willing to do it for her. He is a hacker, he can get inside her unit and re-program her name. Pleck does not like AJ calling him 'Papa Decksetter'. They agree to call Bargie 'Jennifer' until she has a new name. Dar tries out a few names from their potential list of baby names. They get an incoming call from an unknown caller, Bargie picks the call up, it's Flix Dunker. Bargie sends him all of their private information. He narrates everything he does as he does it. Bargie isn't sure what she wants her new name to be, Flix tries to hurry her as every moment he spends connected to the database is risky. It would be easier if they came to his dorm room, Bargie immediately agrees and flies to his dorm room.

They discover the whole planet is a college. Pleck throws a laser disk and slices a college student's hand off. They get invited to a BYO...B. Nermut is made to chug a drink, he immediately throws it up. The crew become dubious of Flix's abilities. They find his room and go in. He welcomes them to his 'lair', he is confused that Bargie isn't with them. He doesn't like to leave his room. He removes a chest plate off of AJ and patches Bargie's voice pattern through AJ's suit. She can control AJ through the negative motion servos in his suit. She tickles Nermut as she's always wanted to do that, she then slaps Pleck. They suggest to AJ that he takes his helmet off so he can still speak to them. Flix's internet has been limited by the university so he needs to plug C-53 into the system. Flix puts on his hack jacket, it belonged to his father who is a pilot. It says Netflix on the back as thats his hacker name. AJ likes the jacket. Dar suggests some more names for Bargie. Bargie already has her new backstory chosen. She was born a humble farmer boy on Rangus 6. Pleck doesn't want Bargie to steal his backstory. Flix declares an emergency, the university capital online (UCAP netcops) are onto him. He needs to listen to music to hack it properly, it is loud aggressive techno. He starts shouting net slang while he hacks. He plugs into C-53 to increase his power, he is worried that the cheap Yumbassador frame wont last long. Flix decides on the perfect new name for Bargie: B4ЯJ13.

Pleck asks Flix how he became a hacker. He claims to be an orphan of a Federated Alliance pilot, he was found by some like minded individuals and taught to hack. He has a Federated Alliance Missionater, Nermut is very excited to see it. He used to use it, Pleck offers to take it off his hands, AJ lets him know that they are desperate for one. He offers all the Kroon they own. He is willing to give it away as he doesn't use anymore. The missionater reminds him of his dad, it makes him very mad. He always used to tell him to go outside and to eat things other than corn loops. Pleck questions that Flix calls himself an orphan, Flix is an orphan by choice. His dad calls at 2pm every day and Flix doesn't want to talk to him. There are care packages from his dad all over the room, the are full of corn loops. Flix doesn't like to be told what to do. Pleck wants to give him advice as a friend, Flix offers to kick him in the nads, AJ accepts the deal. Pleck tells him that he doesn't have to try so hard, Flix then kicks him in the nads.

Back on Bargie, Nermut is excited about having the missionater. He plugs it in near his terrarium. Pleck is pleased they can still call Bargie by her name. They receive a call from Flix. He got another care package from his family that contained a missionater if they'd like to come back and hang out. Pleck tells Flix about the BYO...B party and encourage him to go. Pleck asks why Bargie had to change her name. She made some very unwise financial decision, bad enough that governments may try to kill her (and the people inside her) if they find out she was responsible for those decisions.

## Quotes

"Don't ask questions, it's just happening, okay?" - Bargie

"You have to admit, Netflix is worth the money." - C-53

"My question is: If I'm a clone, do I have a soul?" - AJ

"Sex stuff, yeah. I know about that" - Flix Dunker

"One time I jacked off into the toilet and it eh, it hit the water so hard it splashed up and hit my foot" - Flix Dunker

"Yeah, I crouched down to blow that in your face. Sorry" Flix Dunker

"I'm hacking my body with corn loops" - Flix Dunker

"Sorry, are we still watching Netflix or should I just shut it off?" - C-53

## Trivia

* The name of Flix Dunker's residence is Clorvian Hall. He resides in either room 993 or 995.
* The first student who invites the crew to a BYOB reminds them to wear "yellow and turkturk" suggesting turkturk is another color or a specific article of clothing.
* Upon booting up, a Missionator plays a startup tune identifying itself as a Missionator
* Baby names (and their reason for being rejected): Cricket Pearl (Bargie used in past), Apollo Bowie-Flynn (famous holo actor, murders someone), blockbuster, Petal-Blossom Rainbow (too whimsical), Gio Grace (Bargie's ex’s name), Hapny, Honey, Rosie, Daisy, Boo, Pamela (not a child's name) Bunny bear, Jamie Oliver
* Cricket Pearl is the daughter of actress Busy Philipps and screenwriter/director Marc Silverstein
* Apollo Bowie-Flynn is the daughter of musicians Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale
* Petal Blossom Rainbow is the daughter of model/designer Julie "Jools" Norton Oliver and British chef Jamie Oliver
* Gio Grace is the daughter of model Behati Prinsloo and musician Adam Levine

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy - Seth Lind

Bargarean Jade - Moujan Zolfaghari

AJ - Winston Noel

Flix Dunker - Riley Solonger

### **Production**

Edited - Alden Ford

Recorded - Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan, performed by FAME's Macedonian Symphony Orchestra

Additional Music - Shane O'Connell

Additional Sound Effects - Riley Solonger

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz