Conq

### Aliases

Conq my boy (Cent Jr.), Tin can, Smol brain, Clonq, Kankuro, Kankuro-Sensei, Hunk

### Relatives

Warden (Father), Linda (Mother), PK (Sister), Lawby (Uncle)

# **Conq**

"*...What's a pastry-artsy?"*

--Conq

### Appearance

Conq is your average Conqueror. Just a big-bodied dude with a head so small and square in proportion to his body it's uncanny. He has a colorful surcoat and pointless belts. Many times he will just be wearing a t-shirt or long-sleeved Te Affligam shirt.

### Personality

Conq is a very sweet and caring fella, however, sometimes it doesn't come off that way. His brain kind of stopped maturing after he turned 6 and he basically stayed at the communication and mental development levels of a perverted 6 year old. When in battle, he automatically matures by about 20 years before going back to his dumb self.

### Early Life

Connor Warden is the firstborn child of Clarke Warden and Linda Thancred. Born in Ashfeld, Connor lived for most of his life with his father, his sister PK and his Uncle Larry after his parents split up. When he was born, he was a Grunt, much to his father's dismay. However, this changed when Connor was about 2 and a half years of age and he evolved into a normal boy child, meaning he was destined to be a Conqueror. It was clear that Connor could not understand the implications of his parents' divorces when he was a child, and PK had to explain it to him many times. Conq and PK would often screw around and play pranks. They had a good relationship but would hurt each other a lot.

### High School

Conq attended Honor High alongside many of his friends and people he knew for a while. Despite his low intelligence, he was well liked and graduated somehow. He also played football for the Honor High Wyverns during his senior year. Apparently he never realized he was on the football team, and he routinely wore his letterman jacket in a way so wrong it should not be possible.

### Beginnings Arc

**The Uchiha Wedding-** A child Conq can be seen gawking at Nobushi's ass as she's getting married.

**Daubeny's Shame-** Conq jerks off to Gladiators having sex and it is implied that he uses PK's shoulder cloth as a jizz napkin.

**Beach Day-** Conq creepily caresses Nobushi's shoulder and refers to her as "Mrs. Uchiha" which somehow makes it creepier.

### Warrior's Den Arc

**Warriors Damned-** Conq appears multiple times in this comic, mostly getting excited for the update and wishing for a big-tiddie knight hero, since he was not with Yumi at this point in time.

**Yumi VS PK-** Right as Yumi unveils her Sharingan, Conq barges in, wanting beat off to PK and Yumi fighting. It is in this comic that it is revealed that Yumi has a thing for Conq, but it appears he's not listening.

### Musha VS Orochi Arc

During this arc, Conq helps out Musha with his 7 Day training program set up by PK and Lawby. He is responsible for teaching Musha to block and bash during Day 2. Conq gets a hard-on when Musha calls him "Master Kankuro", and then he gives Musha a barbell the exact weight of PK. Later on, Conq is blocked and hit with the first Nurui Kick of the series, right in the groin. Despite being in immense pain, Conq is proud of Musha.

After the fight itself, Conq is seen to have been taking a fat dump the whole time and missed it. He walks into the stadium and sees PK and Shinobi hugging, to which he calls gay, even though if he saw it in a porno he would think it's hot.

### It Has Begun

**Red Wedding-** Conq is seen at the bachelor party in the Taken Corner, trying his hardest to get his blindfold off so he can see stripper boobies. Later on, he is somehow the first to identify Astrea as a Warmonger.

**Drafted-** Conq expresses his fear of death when he hears he is being drafted, but his view is easily shaken when Warden offers him pez.

**Lawbringer: Origin-** Conq is shown interrupting and leaving to get a bucket of chicken while Lawbringer tells the harrowing tales of the Blackstone Legion. It is also revealed in this comic that Conq was born a Grunt.

**The Panty Raid-** Conq plays a pivotal role in this 3-part comic, as he is the one to initiate sneaking into the girls' room. He also is shown to incorrectly remember the recipe for kidney cubes, and he ends up shaking down all of Yumi's stuff.

### The Battle of Crow's Path

During The Battle of Crow's Path, the first major battle between The Resistance and Horkos, Connor is shown to be very good at close combat and he displays exemplary battle awareness, even saving PK from an arrow to the face.

### Declaration of War

**Conq's New Friend-** Conq ends up becoming very close friends with Sun Da, to the point where he completely ignores Yumi and allows Sun Da to violate her personal boundaries. After she confronts him, Conq ends up making her a care package with a new scarf and a poorly-spelled apology letter which brings her to tears.

**The Big Game-** Conq doesn't realize he is on the football team but he ends up doing a good job.

### Time of Dying

**Wacky Shenanigans-** Conq learns about spreading false rumors from Cent Jr., and proceeds to tell everyone that Cent is gay. This sparks conflict between them and Conq is fooled into believing Cent slept with Yumi.

**Sabaktes: Origin-** Cent and Conq have made up and are now watching Let's Plays in silence. Warden bursts in and tells Conq that they are gonna go save Lawby and PK, to which Conq promptly agrees.

**Resurgence-** Conq joins the fight with Warden and Highlander, dispatching Warmongers on the water.

### Back From The Dead

**Escape!-** Conq helps Warden and Highlander get to Rock Bottom to transport Lawby.

**Reunited-** Conq does a supermove with Highlander in which he is thrown into Giga Grunt, temporarily knocking him out. He is happy to see his family and friends again.

### Zenith

**The Wu Lin Problem-** Conq is seen eating ice cream and he informs Lawby about the situation with the briefly hated Wu Lin.

**Incoming!!-** Conq is pictured sleeping on a rock like a fat bastard while Yumi worries about him.

### Strengths/Abilities

* Physical Strength: Conq is a huge gym rat, since he doesn't really have the mental capacity to do much else. This has made him incredibly muscular and he can pick up most things in a room.
* Battlefield Awareness: Conq seems to mature by many years when he is in a fight. Adrenaline appears to accelerate his critical thinking and thought processes.
* Shield Bash: Conq can leap rather far to tackle an enemy with his shield and knock them over.
* Healing Factor: Due to being born a Grunt, Conq's body has a rapidly accelerated rate of regeneration, so it doesn't take long for him to come back from injuries.
* Bonk Counter: Conq has the ability to quickly block an enemy's attack with his shield and then quickly bonking them with his flail.
* Spinny Flail: Conq quickly spins his flail before attacking in order to do massive damage with momentum.
* Projectile Hump: In high school, Conq learned the ability to pelvic thrust the air and send a shockwave toward his target.

### Fun Facts and Trivia

* Conq is a boobisexual, meaning he is only attracted to women (or at times, men) with breasts that he can fill his hand with. This is interesting, since toward the start of the series, Yumi did not meet these requirements (she has matured since).
* It is widely believed that Conq's head is stuck in his helmet. It is possible they are the same shape.
* When Conq was born, he was a Grunt. At about 2 and half, his helmet fell off and his beard and eyebrows retracted into his pores, making him a normal child.
* Conq made friends with Orochi in 2nd grade, despite their differing neural development and ideologies.
* Conq "cooks" on Thursdays, which typically entails shoving Play-Doh or gummy worms in the microwave.
* Conq refuses to do his orders, making the Warden household lose money every time the Heavy order is required.