Maid And Vampire Take Care Of You

Kuudere Maid and Lilico help out a lost traveler.

## Transcript

Oh, hello. Can I help you? The lady of the house is out right now. Hmm? You're lost? I see. Is this a hotel? No, thankfully not. Only two people live here. Directions back to town? You're very far away from town. Very very far. I'm surprised he managed to wander far enough to find this place. It would be an understatement to say we're off the beaten path, but I'm sure you've noticed that already. My advice would be to retrace your steps and go on from there. Goodbye.

Yes? I know it's late. But like I said, this isn't a hotel I'm afrai. Hmmm... yes. I'm not usually allowed to let people into the building... Well, yes, come in. You can rest in the Parlor. When my mistress comes home you can ask if you can take shelter here for the night. Come and make yourself comfortable.

You can leave your wet coat and things on here. I will tidy them away before she gets home. You're welcome to sit by the fire, if you like. Of course. I think there are some blankets lying around somewhere. Yes of course, help yourself.

So, what are you in this corner of the world for? You don't seem like you're from around here. Work? I see. Myself? Work also. I quite like it here. It's quiet, peaceful, I don't have to talk to anyone I don't want to. Oh, don't apologize. I'm thinking more of my time in the hospitality industry. Kicking people out of bed really gets old. Would you like some tea? Not a bother. I was just about to make some myself.

Hmm? Yes, two people live here. The owner and her friend. What is she like? Pleasant enough. I don't see much of her really. I suppose she's quite an unusual woman from what I can gather, but I quite like that. It makes the job more interesting for me. Strange how? As strange as you would imagine for a woman living in a castle with only one other soul in the building. Here you are.

No, no that's all right. I was nearly done with what I had to do anyway. I'm about ready for some rest as well. Yes? I can take the apron off now? I think I tied the knot a little too tight. Oh, thank you. Thanks a lot. I think I'll have some time by the fire, too.

What is it do you do for work then? Journalism? That's a shame. There's not too much to write about out here, unless you want to write about plants or stone or something. How did you end up out here? Surely you saw the signposts at the end of the road out of town? You didn't realize it would be so bad out here? Rookie mistake.

Sometimes we have ??? people who want out this far, looking for the castle. My mistress doesn't take kindly to it. No. Why? Well, it's trespassing. Surely you wouldn't like to have strangers on your property routinely? Yes. Cold? No, she's not cold. Both of the tenants are kind women. I'm lucky I found this job with them.

You're not one of those weirdos trying to find this place, are you? Where did you say you were from? You're a long way from home too. You must really like your job. What is it that you're here for then? Taking pictures? Writing a story? Do you write for a plant magazine or something? Hmm? Oh. You've been sent to write about the disappearances in town? Hmm? Well, I've heard about it, but personally I don't know anything about it.

Worried? No. I can't say I'm worried. Why not? I suppose I don't pay much attention to the news. I don't want to stress myself out, plus I feel quite safe out here as you've noticed. It's a hard place to come across. Hmm? More questions? Why are you getting your notepad out? I didn't agree to an interview. I've told you, I don't know anything about it. If you don't mind, I'd rather enjoy my break from work relaxing rather than talking about missing people which I'm sure is an exaggerated number, anyway.

What? You should be careful with your words. I know my mistress well enough to know to know that she will probably give you a place to stay tonight, and a warm welcome. You should watch your mouth with what you say about her next. Sometimes people have the mental capacity of a vegetable. It's easy to accuse the isolated castle on the outskirts of the area. No? It's all a bit corny if you ask me, trying to use her as a scapegoat for their crime problem.

Hmm... that's my opinion. Do you sense another soul in this building? You can hear a pin drop in this place. Hmm... Yeah. No, I can't sleep yet. I have to wait for them to come home. I said I would make them soup if it was cold today, and it is. If any weirdos show up, I shhot at them with an air rifle from the fourth floor balcony. Yeah the police hate having to come all the way out here. It's a track. I see you know.

Sorry, I'm dozing off. I had better make a start on the soup soon. Would you like some? Good. I'm just going to fetch the vegetables from the back porch. The gardener left them there for me this afternoon. {humming}

**Lilico:** I'm home. Excuse me.

{Lilico and the maid have a conversation in the background}

Hello. My name is Lilico. Welcome to my home! You're most welcome. The maid tells me you've come from out of town. Yes, caught in the rain. Well you are most welcome to stay the night here if you're in need of shelter. You've of course! What kind of person would I be to leave someone out there in a storm like this? Not at all, you're very welcome. Why can I show you around a little so you know where things are before taking you to the spare bedroom, if you like?

Lovely. Follow me. Oh, thank you very much. I moved in here a while ago a bit so, a very special place. No, no, not an ancestral home but it feels like a family home now, even if it's just the three of us. We'll be glad to have some more company, even if it's just for tonight. I'm told you're here on business? I can only curse your employer for making you come so far and in these circumstances.

Hmm? Oh, self-employed. I see. You must have really wanted to see something in town then? Here is the guest bathroom. I'm assuming you won't have many of your things, but there should be some toiletries in the cabinet there if you need them. Oh. Oh yes, that's uh Cynthia's Venus flytrap. My housemate thought it would make the place more homely for our guests.

Hmm, yes. I'd say we're quite hospitable people, despite being so isolated out here. The more the merrier, no? Our maid says you're a journalist, how exciting. You must learn all kinds of interesting things. Hmm? Oh do excuse the state of this door. The plaque fell off the front but this is the door to the Winter Garden. Yes, have a peek. I'm not so good at keeping up with the plants but my housemate Cynthia does sometimes.

Yes, lots of snow drops. They're my favorite. We can go through here. Yes, downstairs now. I know this place can be a touch disorientating to get around, that's why I prefer to show guests around myself. I won't bore you with much more. I know you must be dying for some rest. So, you've come to write about the supposed disappearances in our County? Hmm, yes I've heard about them. Terrible stuff, isn't it?And you must have quite the passion for journalism to come here and risk your safety! Hmm, well done to you.

Me? No, I can't say I know too many details. I'm not really the newspaper reading type, and The Paperboy can't make it out here anyway, bless him. Oh because of the long cycle here, not because he's missing. Very thankfully! Yes, just mind your head here. It gets a little low as we approach the cellar for some reason. I got this sweet little chandelier in Venice. Isn't it darling? I just adore it.

Anyway... Hmm? Oh, so you've heard those nasty rumors about me? What a shame. Oh no, I'm quite used to it. People are always going to be a bit fearful of something they don't understand, but as you can see I'm no threat to anyone; apart from the fashion terrorists. I don't know why they say things like that. Do I really look like I could hurt someone, you know, in a pretty dress and heels? It's quite a stretch of the imagination, no?

This Is my cellar. It's where I keep things that are made for drinking. Oh, what's wrong? Don't tell me all the ??? offends you. I'm not really one for wine myself. I'm smiling because I'm happy. Like I said, it's not often that we have guests. I suppose he must have felt quite clever finding this place, but I'm not a fan of strangers coming into my home and sticking their noses where they don't belong. Did you never hear about curiosity killing the cat?

Oo, shh... you've tried your best. You had to have known this could have been an outcome, no?