The Silliest Jurassic Park FanFiction Ever Written

Ian Malcolm

Henry Wu

Robin Smith

Yannick Ilnyckyj

Sarah Harding

Kelly Curtis

Charlie F. Grant

Elkay

Buzz

Rocky

Morton

Penelope

Seriama

The Silliest Jurassic Park FanFiction Ever Written was a novel-sized FanFiction. It begins two years after the events of the first *Jurassic Park* film.

## Plot

### Prologue

On Isla Nublar, a team of scientists and engineers capture a juvenile *Velociraptor*, attempting to secure it inside an RV trailer lab. The raptor's pack is nearby in the jungle, including the pack's chieftain and mother of the juvenile they captured. As the raptors close in, the workers try to escape, but the RV gets stuck due to the muddy terrain. A mechanic named Joe is sent outside to attach a tow rope to the trailer when none of the scientists volunteer, but is killed by the pack.

They hear a single raptor outside cry out, and the juvenile in the trailer responds. The whole team listens, the scientists having the driver stop revving the engine. They call to each other, and then the raptor on the outside searches the trailer for a weak spot. Four raptors begin to ram the back wall, cracking the window. The force of their impact dislodges the trailer and it begins to escape, the raptors in chase. The head scientist's assistant has the driver accelerate them to sixty miles per hour, despite his protests that it isn't safe in these rainy conditions, and they trigger the speed radar. This causes sirens to start blaring, and the raptors back off in surprise and confusion.

Unfortunately the RV flies into an intersection and the driver brakes in surprise, causing them to overturn and collide with a log. The driver is pinned down. The engineers and scientists flee. Though they are instructed to leave the captured raptor to save themselves, a team member named Johnson brings it with them anyway. Using nearby Jeep Wranglers, the team escapes, while the adult raptors enter the RV and kill the driver.

### Wu

In the Horseshoe Canyon badlands near Drumheller, Alberta, Drs. Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler arrive by shuttle bus as a group of paleontologists search for fossils. They are here as guest speakers for the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology, where a conference called "Trike Talk" is being held. An employee, Mr. Geoffrey, is excited to see Alan and asks him if he saw the famous *Allosaurus* Big Al in Wyoming, but Alan is unimpressed and says he isn't a fan of theropods. Ellie breaks the awkward tension by asking about the Museum's *Brachiosaurus*, which Geoffrey admits is only a cast. Afterward, Ellie silently reminds Alan not to let his experience in Jurassic Park interfere with his presentation here.

Alan speaks about the theories that *Torosaurus* is actually just the adult form of *Triceratops*, explaining the scientific reasoning behind this thought. Two children ask questions after his presentation, one asking about dinosaur using gizzard stones (which reminds Ellie of Jurassic Park) and another asking if it's possible that dinosaurs will ever be brought back. This question takes Alan by surprise, but he manages not to let his shock show and says that if it were possible, they would have to exercise extreme caution.

A helicopter approaches the museum, and Alan instinctively guesses it's InGen. He and Ellie meet the helicopter to find that Dr. Henry Wu is on board. When he says that they need to return to the United States immediately, they protest, saying they aren't scheduled to leave Alberta until the third of the month. Wu says that the matter is urgent, and they recognize that they don't have much choice, so they board. They reunite with Dr. Ian Malcolm, who is also on board.

As they fly into Montana, Alan and Ellie catch up with Malcolm, who is surprisingly unchanged since the incident. He still has his dry sense of humor, and his tendency to flirt with Ellie. Malcolm explains that he no longer works in chaos theory; now he researches multidimensional theory. While they talk, Wu enters and says that John Hammond is not feeling well enough to join them, so they are heading straight for Costa Rica. This panics the three scientists, and Wu quickly explains that they are carriers of a virus that they contracted from the theropods during their time on the island. If they are exposed to high levels of radiation, the virus will start to cause bizarre symptoms that InGen doesn't yet understand. Wu reveals that InGen has a nuclear reactor on Isla Nublar that gives off pulses of radiation in emergency power situations, such as when power failed in Jurassic Park and Ellie had to restart it. Malcolm accuses Wu of shipping them into a dangerous situation without any real reason, and Wu retorts that they have rebuilt parts of the Park with stronger security than ever before.

Alan asks if Wu can share any more information about the virus. Wu explains that it also affects the theropods, but causes drastically different symptoms in them. Bird DNA appears to make them more susceptible to the disease, and while InGen was mostly concerned with the frog DNA that they used to fill in gene sequence gaps, birds and reptiles were also used. The virus allows theropods to unnaturally increase the amount of avian DNA they contain, so they rapidly grow feathers, beaks, and other birdlike features, sometimes enough to let them glide for short distances. The new facility has been upgraded to ensure that these kinds of invasions can't occur.

Wu gives the group a stack of laminated papers covering the types of dinosaurs they might encounter while on the island. They aren't going to be traveling far from the Visitors' Center, but smaller dinosaurs such as compies and *Bambiraptors* might still be in the area. Wu explains that the *Bambiraptors* are docile, even though the *Compsognathus* are aggressive. They review some of the other dinosaurs, such as *Citipati* and *Tuojiangosaurus*, before going off on a series of dinosaur puns. Wu leaves to speak with the pilot, possibly to avoid the puns. Ellie eventually dozes off, and has a nightmare about being chased by a *Tyrannosaurus* through the jungle. She sees a *Pteranodon* perched nearby and asks for its help, but it flies away. She is woken up just as her nightmare reaches its end.

### Deception

Ellie wakes up as the plane lands in San José, Costa Rica in the early morning. She is still tired, and sleeps fitfully on the helicopter flight to Isla Nublar. A strong headwind wakes her up, and they all buckle in. She reads up on some of the information to keep herself busy as Alan and Ian bicker lightly. She admits to Alan that she's worried, and Alan says that it will only take them a day or two to identify the virus and then they should be free to go. Ellie gets the feeling that he isn't revealing everything he knows. She notices a paper in his pocket that appears to have handwriting on it, and she suspects that he and Ian or Wu were using writing to communicate without waking her up. It looks as though the secret is about her, otherwise she would be in on it too.

They arrive at Isla Nublar, landing on the helipad and boarding jeeps. Some of the security workers joke that the three scientists are going to be eaten, but Alan and Ian don't appear to notice.

They reach the Visitors' Center near sundown, getting their luggage from a cargo plane and changing into dress clothes for dinner. The Visitors' Center is fully renovated, with the damage repaired and new features installed since the incident. Compies and *Bambiraptors* occasionally hop through the electric fence to scavenge around the perimeter, and they see some hadrosaurs in the distance in a lake. Ellie spots one of the women at a table by herself feeding some *Bambiraptors*, only to be scolded by her partner when he returns. Wu has explained how InGen's ID cards show employees' place in the hierarchy; red indicates top managers such as Wu himself, orange indicates heads of departments, yellow indicates assistants, blue indicates workers, and purple indicates low-level employees.

Wu gives them the keys to their rooms, and they make their way to the guest hotel. Ellie worries about the fact that Hammond hasn't contacted them at all about this trip, which she finds suspicious; she doesn't know Wu well enough to trust him and he may be acting without Hammond's oversight. Ian is better-packed than Alan and Ellie, so he lends them some bug spray and a rope. After they have unpacked, Ian visits Alan and Ellie in their room, but Alan asks for him to leave them alone for tonight. Ellie senses that their group dynamics are becoming strained already, with Alan and Ian constantly bickering but Ellie feeling left out with the two of them together.

While Alan takes a shower, Ellie sneaks a read of the mysterious paper that Alan was hiding, which she swiped while folding laundry while unpacking. She discovers that the virus affects women; Alan and Ian are safe, but she is likely subject to the highest form of contamination as she was close to the nuclear fission plant when she restarted the power. When Alan comes back from the shower, Ellie attempts to hide the fact that she has learned the truth about why they are here.

That night, she has another nightmare. She watches as her friends are trapped in the Ford Explorers near the tyrannosaur paddock as Buttercup escapes, attacking them. Once again she sees a *Pteranodon* in her dream, but it transforms into a cloud of mosquitoes that swarm her. Upon waking up, she feels the need to vomit and rushes to the bathroom. Alan tries to comfort her, but she insists that she's fine and only experiencing food poisoning. When he goes back to sleep, she debates on whether she should allow him to remain when he isn't in danger. She knows that he'll want to stay and ensure that she's safe, but she might be able to convince Ian to go back to safety. As she mulls over all of this new knowledge, she drifts off to sleep again.

While she sleeps, a raptor-like creature sneaks in through her window as a thunderstorm passes overhead. It appears to read the note that Ellie stole from Alan's pocket, and then escapes down the drainpipe without waking either of them up. Wu's writing on the note indicated that no one would be leaving the island anytime soon, and the creature knows that this is truer than any of them realize.

### Conflict

Ellie is awoken early the next morning by the maintenance crew trimming the courtyard. She witnesses the angry head engineer and the blonde scientist who fed the *Bambiraptors* have another argument, but decides it is none of her business. She and Alan begin preparing for their inoculations and physical exams. In the next room over, Ian accidentally smashes a hand-painted lamp, which Alan helps him clean. Wu shows up to bring them to breakfast, and Ellie goes down with him to cover for Alan and Ian (as Wu explained that the lamps were very expensive).

As Wu brings Ellie to breakfast, not speaking much to her, they run into the blonde scientist who Ellie had seen a few times before. Ellie learns that her name is Robin. Robin complains about her partner, Yannick, who keeps calling her by the wrong name after working together for nearly five years. Wu admits to Ellie that he would have fired Robin and Yannick a long time ago, but that they work well individually. While they head for the Visitors' Center, Ellie begins to notice that some details of the facility seem off. Wu admits that InGen's investors want a new Park to be built, one that fixes all the old problems. He wants to accomplish this by getting the carnivores under control using the virus. Ellie objects to this goal. Alan and Ian catch up.

They are taken to the Visitors' Center clinic, where they are inoculated against dinosaur venom. Ellie admits to Ian that she read the letter and knows that they don't need to be on the island. Ian refuses to leave the island, even when she insists. While Alan and Ian have their physical examinations, Ellie calls John Hammond on a pay phone. It turns out that he is perfectly healthy, and when she asks about the virus, he tells her that if she avoids electric stimulation she should be fine. He says he can get her to a doctor to look her over, but when she mentions she's already seeing a (questionably competent) nurse, Hammond seems worried. He has no idea what she's talking about when she asks him if he knows what's going on. When she asks if he sent Wu to fetch them, Hammond says he couldn't if he had wanted to: he no longer owns Jurassic Park. It was taken out of his jurisdiction a week ago.

Meanwhile, Ian is also suspicious about the goings-on here on Isla Nublar. His personal history with InGen means that he knows some of the struggles it's going through, and he also knows that Peter Ludlow (who has been trying to discredit Ian since he violated his nondisclosure agreement) has limited control over the island right now because Wu is in charge. Ian is plotting to find evidence to reveal the truth about Isla Nublar when Ellie interrupts, grabbing Ian and Alan and saying they need to leave now. This forces Ian to reveal that he knew Ludlow took over Jurassic Park, which leads to a fight between the three of them. Robin and Yannick are called in to intervene, but almost instantly they begin to fight as well. The brawl only stops when Alan and Ellie shout that they should break up, shocking everyone into a stunned silence. Yannick and Robin leave the group alone (the attending nurse exits through a window). Ian tries to make amends, but the damage has been done. Wu enters the room after being alerted by the nurse to the commotion, and he insists that the scientists act civilly while on the island. The three return to their rooms to talk it over.

### Reconciliation

Ian is the first to apologize, for blaming Alan and Ellie for not supporting him when he broke his nondisclosure agreement and about Ludlow taking control of Jurassic Park. Alan apologizes for lying and trying to make decisions for Ellie without telling her. Ellie apologizes for shouting at them, and clarifies that she doesn't want to break up with Alan. They decide to be completely honest with one another from this point onward. Ellie is the only one with any new information, that Wu is trying to make a new Jurassic Park to please their investors. When she mentions the pool that had been renovated, the three decide to relax in it.

Alan and Ian talk about different dinosaur species, Ian trying to determine which are dangerous carnivores and which are friendly herbivores. Alan eventually just tells him that they're probably all dangerous, even the herbivores, as Gerry Harding told them once that *Triceratops* would charge the jeeps. Ian realizes that the girl he's been seeing, Sarah Harding, is Gerry's daughter, to the group's amusement. He also discusses his multidimensional theory research with them. Robin arrives and they invite her to join them. They learn that Yannick was fired because of his constant fighting with Robin. Ian uses this as an example of multidimensional theory; in one universe, Robin is fired, and in another, Yannick is fired. Robin asks if this is why Ian was brought along, as she doubts that he would be allowed to see "The Machine." Without much prompting she describes its nature.

The Machine opens interdimensional gateways, and the instructions were given to them by a version of Henry Wu from an alternate universe. This alternate Wu knew how to build the device, but needed help from their version of Wu to build something else: a biological automaton. While their own Wu didn't have the technology to make this automaton, he learned how to make the Machine, and used it to search the multiverse. They found other InGens, and some of them had their own Wus.

Malcolm doubts Robin's story, and she storms off in a huff. Alan and Ellie aren't as doubtful, though, suspecting that there is some truth to what Robin told them.

The trio repairs the broken lamp from Ian's room. While they do, Robin comes to their door to apologize for reacting so dramatically when they didn't believe her about The Machine. Ian pretends to believe her this time. He tells her that she's much friendlier and more open than her colleagues, prompting her to reveal more of the truth about Isla Nublar. Robin reveals her own frustration with the secrecy around the island, and with the trio's word that they won't share anything, she begins to talk. Ellie starts to behave oddly, making remarks about the raptors and *Troodons*. Robin reveals that they took the raptor chieftain's child, and when Ellie implies that the *Troodons* aren't that intelligent, Robin corrects her to say that they're nearly humanlike in their intelligence level and not to underestimate them. When Robin brings up their communication, Ellie claims that they don't vocalize to communicate, instead using eye contact. Robin is confused as to how she would know this and asks how long she's been infected. She dismisses it a moment later, though. Robin warns them not to underestimate these dinosaurs and tells them that they inhabit the Valley of Mists. She then leaves the group for the night. Ellie reveals that her strange behavior was a means by which to get Robin to reveal more information.

Ellie designs a map to show what they know and who they learned it from. Wu hinted that the raptors have gliding abilities, confirmed by Robin. Wu claimed that the virus was dangerous, while Hammond insisted that it was benign, so they can't trust either source on this. The Machine, Ellie declares, is irrelevant. Robin's reaction to Ellie's behavior suggests that she is also infected with the virus, which fits, as she is in the at-risk demographic and is very close with the *Bambiraptors*. After reviewing their knowledge, they try to sleep, preparing for their tasks the next day.

### White Rabbit

Ellie has a nightmare about being chased in the maintenance shed by the raptor two years ago. Once more, the mysterious *Pteranodon* appears and is unhelpful, watching as she is attacked. She wakes up just as it pounces at her. In her fright she accidentally wakes up Alan, and Ian wakes up shortly after.

They get breakfast, and then search for Wu. They look for him by the veterinary RV, and a worker says Wu is in a bad mood and was arguing with Dr. Harding. As Harding approaches, Ian hides from him. Harding reveals that Wu is upset with him because he hasn't found a cure for the *Stegosaurus*'s diarrhea yet, but this is because his scientist bailed and his assistant disappeared. He also admits that because he lost his hat, the herbivores don't trust him anymore as they don't recognize him. Gerry shows them inside the RV, where they find his assistant (revealed to be Robin) accidentally locked in the meat freezer. When she leaves, she gets into a mild argument with Ian, almost exposing him to Gerry due to his rudeness. Gerry directs the group toward the garage, where he last saw Wu.

Along the way, Ellie notices that non-native plants are taking over Isla Nublar on account of InGen's shoddy botanical work. They encounter Robin hiding in the bushes as they approach the garage. She storms off very quickly after a brief spat with Ian again.

The group approaches the garage, and Ian is winded from the climb and waits behind. Alan and Ellie speak with a worker named Felipe about Wu's whereabouts, but Wu has already left. When Felipe and his coworker Carlos try to jump-start a vehicle, an accident with the jumper cable electrocutes Ellie. Alan wants to bring her to the clinic, but the mechanics tell them that the Visitors' Center is closer, so they head in that direction. As she slips in and out of consciousness, Ellie recalls Hammond's warning to avoid strong electrical stimulation, and worries that she might start to suffer the effects of her disease.

### Chaos

Alan brings Ellie back to the Visitors' Center, where they meet Robin again. After learning that Ellie was electrocuted, Robin insists that she can help, but Alan sends her to get Wu instead. Finding the Visitors' Center mostly deserted, Alan looks around for assistance while Ellie suddenly experiences intense chest pain. She notices that her hands seem distorted. While Alan searches for help, Ellie tries to distract herself from the pain she's experiencing by identifying flowers in the displays around her, but her symptoms keep getting worse. As they get particularly painful, she calls Alan back to her side, but she falls unconscious.

When she regains consciousness, Ellie can hear Alan's voice, but only is able to see him when he moves. She realizes that she has transformed into a *Tyrannosaurus*.

Robin hurries off in search of Wu, thinking to herself what Ellie must be going through. Robin, it is revealed, was experimented upon when the virus was discovered, and she knows firsthand that the initial transformation is highly unpleasant. Wu chose Ellie because of the likelihood that she would transform into a *Tyrannosaurus*, a symptom of the most severe infections (even more severe than Robin's infection). Wu finds Robin, asking if the group is getting along. She says that they are, but Ellie has become an issue due to the effects of the virus.

Alan tries to rationalize Ellie's supernatural transformation, but can't find a logical reason for it. Ian catches up to the group and panics, but is calmed down by Alan, who informs him that the tyrannosaur is Ellie. Before they can come up with a plan of action, a nurse enters the room and runs out screaming, alerting security guards to the presence of a dinosaur. In spite of Alan's protests, the guards shoot at Ellie, and she is forced to flee by smashing through a large window. Security personnel board a jeep to pursue her, and she runs into the jungle to escape.

### Compsognathus

A group of scientists including Robin arrive at the scene of the Visitors' Center attack. Wu interviews the witnesses. After thinking to herself for a few minutes, Robin realizes that she is not a particularly efficient worker, and that maybe this is the reason her coworkers don't get along with her. She decides to take this opportunity to prove her usefulness. She tries to sneak away, but finds that while she was making plans to win her coworkers' respect, friendship, and/or romance, everyone left except for a sanitation worker.

In the jungle, Ellie has lost her way. She finds herself at a pond where she debates whether to eat a toad, but is disgusted by its texture and spits it out. She nearly steps on a compy, who becomes indignant that she doesn't immediately apologize. The compy doesn't believe that she's a *Tyrannosaurus*, because they wouldn't ship one in from Isla Sorna and the only remaining one hasn't been seen since two years ago.

Alan, Ian, and Wu search for Ellie in the jungle. Alan demands more information about the virus from Wu, who explains some of how it works: larger theropods carry more dominant strains of the disease, so when the infected are electrocuted, they will transform into the largest theropod they've been exposed to. Alan isn't convinced that Wu is telling them everything he knows, or that he's telling the truth about their bullets being unable to harm a tyrannosaur. He states that she should have been cured of the lysine deficiency installed into the dinosaurian DNA, but as the physical examination was interrupted by their fight, he doesn't know if it was administered.

Meanwhile, Ellie has located the perimeter fence around the Visitor Compound, and is trying to reach the Visitors' Center without bringing attention to herself. As she searches, she releases energy in the form of light and transforms back into a human. She celebrates for a moment, but is subsequently attacked by a trio of compies. More soon join in the attack as she flees. Ellie escapes them by clambering up a tree, and the branch breaks in the struggle. She lands on the other side of the perimeter fence, away from the compies but in the wild.

A thunderstorm begins to form in the island's wild north, directly over Mount Sibo. Its formation is strange, with claw-shaped tendrils extending out from it. The scientists on the island are at a loss to explain its bizarre shape. The island falls silent beneath its shadow. Ellie is caught in the rain, and loses hope at being rescued. She starts to fantasize about her own funeral, but then remembers that Alan is probably still looking for her and regains some hope.

Just as she suspects, Alan is still looking for Ellie, though Ian is running out of energy and Wu thinks they should try again tomorrow. Ian and Alan refuse to leave until Ellie is found, though. Wu becomes irate when Alan blames him for the whole situation, and he threatens to hold them against their wills if they don't comply with his authority. Robin signals Ian from the bushes, and Ian (under pretense of having to pee) is able to get over to her. She tells him that she knows how to find Ellie, and that Ian and Alan should meet her at midnight in the hotel. Ian is called back by Wu, and agrees to return to the hotel. He reassures Alan that he knows they'll find Ellie, claiming that "a little bird told me."

### The Post-Mortem Reaction

Alan and Ian reenter the hotel to wait for Robin. On the way, they encounter Gerry Harding, prompting Ian to hide again. Gerry notices Ian's shoes noticeably sticking out from under the table where he's hiding, and after offering to help Alan if he needs it in this situation with Ellie, he says that he'd like to meet Ian sometime, as he wants to get to know him.

Alan and Ian wait in the room for Robin, and to pass the time they play Monopoly and discuss their significant others. Alan gives Ian some relationship advice. They use the string from Ellie's diagram to build a laser-beam obstacle course.

Robin comes at close to midnight, knocking several minutes early because she was impatient. She explains to them that because she is infected with the Volatus Virus, she can communicate with certain species of dinosaurs. As she's so close with the *Bambiraptors*, she was able to get them to keep an eye out for Ellie. She has stolen her supervisor Jay's keys so they can use a jeep to find her if the bambies spot her. They should soon be arriving to Robin's flat to inform her. On their way out, they unfortunately run into Jay, and Robin covers by saying she's showing Alan and Ian the Park's new gumball machine.

They reach Robin's flat. Soon afterward, the bambies arrive, and Blitzen informs Robin that Ellie was sighted by a compy earlier. That compy saw a rival pack to his own chase Ellie along the perimeter fence and to the opposite side, and since then, she has headed northward.

Meanwhile, Ellie is desperately searching for help in the jungle. She hears whispering, but suddenly she is attacked by two juvenile *Velociraptors*. She manages to strike one in the jaw, and he backs off. The raptors' parent appears and instructs them to attack again, and Ellie realizes that they're being taught how to hunt. One of the raptors leaps at her, knocking them both into the electric fence nearby. Ellie wishes that the shock would have killed her instead of the raptor that surely is about to disembowel her, but then realizes that she's been electrocuted, meaning a transformation is coming.

Robin tries to discourage Alan and Ian from following Ellie into the North, as it is inhabited by various dangerous dinosaurs. They want to get Wu, but Robin reminds them that he doesn't have their best interests at heart; all he wants to do is build the new Park. However, Robin accidentally reveals that she only wants to find Ellie so that she can get respect from her coworkers, which makes Alan angry. He accuses her of being just like Wu, and she has an emotional breakdown. Ian and Alan try to comfort her. She reveals that Wu is trying to design dinosaurs for military purposes now that he can't publish scientific papers about his research in Jurassic Park. Not only that, he's planning on transforming humans into dinosaurs using the virus so that they'll follow orders, unlike natural dinosaurs.

In the jungle, Ellie escapes from the raptors, having transformed into a *Tyrannosaurus* again.

Robin continues to explain Wu's plans. He is trying to find a way to cause men to transform from the virus in the same way that women can, and Ellie's DNA is the key to this. Voluntary transformation is an alternative to the post-mortem reaction, in which a human killed by a dinosaur will resurrect and transform permanently into that dinosaur which killed them (provided the body is not too damaged). As she's discussing this, Wu and some of his underlings accost the group.

### Phase 3

The security guards drag Robin away kicking and screaming. Wu tries to convince Alan and Ian that Robin made up the information she disclosed to them, despite his referring to them as "company secrets" mere seconds before. Alan and Ian easily see through Wu's ruse and don't believe him. Alan insists that they let Robin go, but Wu says that she's dangerous and a liability.

Robin transforms into a *Bambiraptor*, tripping Wu and escaping with Alan and Ian in a stolen jeep. She also has obtained a canister of laughing gas, which Ian uses to slow down Wu and the guards.

Meanwhile, Ellie is still a tyrannosaur and has obtained the respect of the island's *Herrerasaurus*, who live in the ruins of the unfinished Bone Shaker roller coaster. She has obtained two guides to help her find the Visitors' Center; they are the herrerasaurs' alpha and beta. The two herrerasaurs wonder why Ellie would want to go to the Visitors' Center, but they make conversation. When they ask Ellie's age, she says she is twenty-eight, which she immediately realizes is a mistake: no dinosaur on Isla Nublar could be that old, as the first dinosaurs were cloned in 1984. She tries to correct her mistake, but the herrerasaurs are on to her, believing her to be a shape-shifting spy sent by Wu. Ellie admits that she is a human, but that she means them no harm, and besides, as a tyrannosaur there isn't much they could to to her. As if on cue, she runs out of energy to sustain her transformation and shifts back to a human. The herrerasaurs argue about who should kill her, and in the meantime, Ellie climbs a banyan tree.

To win the herrerasaurs back, Ellie decides to outsmart them. She goads the alpha into climbing the tree after her, then points out that he doesn't know how to get back down again. She uses the bendable branches of the tree to let them back to the ground. The beta herrerasaur believes that they are now in her debt, as she saved the alpha's life and therefore is not their enemy. The alpha still wants to kill Ellie, but she uses reverse psychology to convince him not to. Even better, he wants to lead her to the Visitors' Center to prove that he isn't afraid of humans.

Robin continues to haphazardly drive Ian and Alan across the island. Alan and Ian talk about Ellie's past, and Alan reveals that she used to be a regular botanist and saw some very dangerous plants in her career. One of her coworkers suffered necrosis due to injuries sustained from a giant hogweed, which he died from. Ellie was also injured but lived. That was what prompted her to become a paleobotanist, and was how she and Alan met. Robin listens in, and apologizes for it, but Ian welcomes her into their circle of friends as she's put herself on the line to save them. She hugs them in excitement at having actual friends, but neglects to steer while doing so, causing the jeep to plummet off a cliff. Fortunately it lands in such a way that they are unharmed and the jeep still serviceable, and they are now on the other side of the electric fence.

The herrerasaurs have become more amiable with Ellie, and she suggests that they name themselves. The alpha asserts that the only names they know come from scientists, and rejects the pun-based names that Ellie comes up with for him. The beta suggests that the alpha be called Morton, and names himself Penelope (a name which he has apparently always liked).

Soon, the herrerasaurs come across a lake, and realize that they have been traveling the wrong way. As they try and come up with an alternate route, a *Bambiraptor* appears and says that Robin sent him to search for Ellie. He has them remain in place and goes to fetch Robin.

When Robin and the others hear the news of Ellie's location, Alan takes the wheel and speeds off in that direction. Robin and Ian both worry that he is driving too recklessly, but all the same, they reach the lake safely and have a joyous reunion with Ellie.

The group drives northward, planning to hotwire a boat at the North Dock and head for Costa Rica. From there, they plan to get Hammond's help in returning to the United States, as Wu has their passports. Robin is accepted by everyone into their circle. Suddenly, Robin is shot in the shoulder, and they all see that Wu has caught up with a platoon of InGen Security personnel. Robin begs Wu to let the others go, and Wu states that because he obtained Ellie's DNA from the escape scene, he no longer needs them. He's ready to start what he terms Phase 3. Robin elaborates that their paleontologists found an abnormally large *Tyrannosaurus* tooth containing viable DNA, and that it's possibly genetically superior. Wu shows them a cane that he has fashioned with the fossil affixed to the end.

While Alan and Ellie tend to the wounded Robin, Ian drives. He at first assumes that they will easily outrun Wu's heavier cavalry, but Wu shoots out their left rear tire and stops them. Robin is captured and secured with a dysprosium wristband to stop her from transforming, while Trixie Von Dixie is assigned to gag Ellie. Before anything else can happen, though, an *Allosaurus* suddenly appears.

### Last Day

Everyone scatters as the allosaur charges them. The scientists and security platoon flee in the Jeeps, but Alan leads his friends among some boulders to hide. They debate what to do while waiting for the dinosaur to leave. Moments later, Wu and Jay are forced to join them when Wu runs out of ammunition. The dinosaur smells Robin's bleeding wound and approaches; she realizes that she has this one last chance to prove her worth and gain everyone's respect, so she runs into the open to sacrifice herself and let them escape. The others pile into the one remaining Jeep and escape. They begin to head south, but Jay's men request to rendezvous at the North Dock.

However, the jeep breaks down on the coast due to its flat tire, and Wu and Jay must try and fix it. They stop at a sandy area near the coast. Ellie, Alan, and Ian ponder why Robin sacrificed herself for them, even though they were never particularly nice to her. Ellie asserts that they did do something for her after all: they became her friends.

### Pique de Moustique

Ellie tries out her transformations, discovering how to willingly change only parts of her body at a time. She releases a bright light when shrinking, as her mass is expelled as energy, but draws energy in when growing; she finds this unpleasant. She also is deeply uncomfortable with turning into a raptor. Upon realizing that all the birds have fled, Ellie suspects danger, and soon a pair of gay Baryonyx appear. They only speak Dinosaur-French, so Ellie cannot understand them until she touches one. She tries to learn why they have ventured outside their normal territory, since Wu had mentioned this was an unusual place to see them. However, when she mentions Wu, the Baryonyx assume she is spying for him and they attack. Jay tries to hide under the Jeep, but the Baryonyx spot his lab coat and kill him. When he starts to experience the Post-Mortem Reaction, the Baryonyx kill him again.

Wu tries to force Ellie to change into a Baryonyx, slapping her when she refuses, and electrocutes her with a taser to make her change into a Tyrannosaurus. At first she still refuses to fight, but the Baryonyx do not relent, and she kills the nonbinary one to save Alan. The male then attacks her in revenge, and although Alan tries to shock him with the taser to give Ellie an advantage, the Baryonyx falls over a cliff and drags Ellie after him into the ocean.

She is saved from drowning by Laura Sorkin (although she does not know the identity of her savior, who has turned into a Tylosaurus), and on the beach she encounters her Pteranodon guide. The guide tells her that she is afraid of becoming a raptor, and that her fear of raptors is only part of the reason. As the effects of seawater ingestion wear off, the Pteranodon guide disappears after advising Ellie that she has a starfish on her face. She can't remove it as a Tyrannosaurus, but as the transformation wears of and she becomes a human, she is able to remove it. After regaining her composure, she relaxes on the beach, but is accosted by raptors.

### The Plan

Alan and Ian, who did not see Ellie resurface, think she is dead. At first Alan is in denial, and Ian lacks the ability to comfort him, but eventually he is forced to accept what he thinks is the truth. He accuses Wu of being responsible, since Wu forced Ellie to fight, but Wu counters that if he had done nothing they all might have died. A rescue team arrives from the north and Alan and Ian board one of the jeeps, only to find that it is Dr. Gerry Harding's jeep. Alan now blames himself for Ellie's death, having gotten into danger while trying to help her and ending up needing rescue instead. They are driven back to the Visitors' Center. Wu tells Dr. Harding to find Ellie's corpse from the shore and retrieve it; Dr. Harding considers that he should finally quit his job at InGen after all these years.

Ian goes to collect Orange, who he intends to adopt, and finds that his room has been disturbed. He is knocked unconscious by an unseen assailant. Meanwhile, Alan struggles to pack, not wanting to put away Ellie's things, and tries to rationalize to himself that she might have survived. He is met by Wu, who he lashes out at again. To Alan's surprise, Wu apologizes for his culpability in Ellie's death and the mess he has caused. At first Wu seems to be remorseful, but he leads Alan to a raptor pen where Charlie is being held. He is fitted with a dysprosium collar, which prevents him from fully changing into a bird. Wu pushes Alan into the pen, intending to kill him.

Ellie is being led into the forest by a group of eight raptors. She is brought to Raptor Valley, where fifty or sixty more raptors meet her as their leader announces to the audience that Ellie is infected and can transform into theropods. Ellie is told that she must aid the raptors in their quest to destroy InGen. They assume she already has a plan, and threaten to kill her if she does not. The Chieftain enters and claims that Ellie has no intent to help them at all, but Ellie's captors assert that Ellie is their last hope. While the raptors argue, Ellie comes up with some ideas. She offers to help the raptors because she opposes InGen too, claiming that she can get into the Visitors' Center where they cannot go. If she helps them and wins, her end of the bargain is to be allowed off Isla Nublar without being hurt, and that the raptors do not kill anyone. However, Ellie is actually bluffing. She has no idea of how to infiltrate the Visitors' Center, and is only hoping that the raptors believe her until she gets a chance to escape.

### Oddleh Seckthual

Ian wakes up in a laboratory strapped to an operating table. He meets Dr. Lars Richthofen, a German geneticist, who is preparing to perform a sinister procedure on him. Richthofen is aided by Trixie Von Dixie, who Ian had briefly met before. When Richthofen tells Ian that he has performed this procedure many times before, Ian initially worries that the evil InGen employee has already caught Alan, but as he tries to speak through a cloth in his mouth, Dr. Wu arrives to announce that Alan has killed himself; Ian sees through this ruse, believing Wu to be the culprit. Wu supervises as Richthofen injects Ian with an unknown serum, implying that it will turn Ian into a Utahraptor.

Ellie is given a tour of Raptor Valley, and although the raptors offer her meat, they don't have anything safe for human consumption. She admits that she is not as afraid being the raptors' captive as she would have expected, since she would otherwise be held captive by InGen. At the mention of Wu's name, the raptors express disgust, and Ellie agrees. For now, they have a common enemy. When she learns that the raptors have learned much by watching the humans, she begins to pry them for more information.

Alan wakes up in the raptor pen, having been knocked out in his fall. The young raptor in the pen pounces on him, but he manages to hold it down. He can't try to escape the pen walls and fences while holding down the raptor, and if he releases the raptor, he could be mauled; realizing that escape would be unlikely anyway, he decides to at least free the raptor from the metal collar InGen has put around its neck. The raptor partly transforms into a parrot and flies free, shorting out an electric fence and dropping a vine so Alan can climb free. The raptor can talk due to his parrot traits, and he and Alan get to know each other. Alan learns of the raptor clan, this young one's mother being the chieftain. Together they sneak out of the compound and head into the wild toward Raptor Valley, Alan hoping that the raptors will be merciful when they learn he freed one of their own.

In Raptor Valley, Ellie names eight of the raptors she spends more time around. There is Rocky (the bruised one), Buzz (one with grill-like burn marks from a fence), Bucky (energetic and impulsive), Lance (boastful and vain, but strong), Crusher (sadistic and pugnacious), Kipper (the friendliest of the bunch), and Otto (who is silent and inscrutable). At night, the raptors switch from the diurnal shift to the nocturnal one, and Ellie's group goes to sleep in a cave. Rocky asks her numerous questions about human biology. She in turn learns that the raptors have accelerated growth and mature quickly; the oldest, the scarred raptor, is only three. This scarred raptor describes having hatched in the wild, many of her siblings having died when their parents were removed from the raptor paddock. The scarred raptor was the chieftain of her kind for a period of time before new raptors were shipped in from Isla Sorna. Their leader was killed by the Isla Nublar chieftain, but then the current chieftain defeated the scarred raptor in combat and usurped her. Supposedly, the current chieftain was hatched in a laboratory here on Isla Nublar, not on Isla Sorna or in the wild. The chieftain is a tyrant, and Ellie suspects her rule will not last because of this.

### Volcano!

Alan continues to carry the young raptor northward. At first Alan entertains him by telling jokes, but when he starts to ask about Ellie, Alan becomes saddened. Meanwhile, Ellie is brought by Bucky, Kipper, Rocky, Buzz, and Otto out from the cave and into Mount Sibo's caldera. They task her with crossing a lava river and retrieving a diamond from a cave on the other side. When she only brings back one, the raptors are surprised that she didn't try to steal any for herself, even though she is going to be killed in three days. Realizing that she isn't as selfish as InGen, they begin to hope that she succeeds and manages to survive. However, Ellie has begun to concoct a plan.

The young raptor insists for a bedtime story from Alan, who tells him this one:

### *The Puddle Story*

*Years ago, at a dig site near Eureka, Montana, Alan Grant's new intern Ellie Sattler introduces herself by clumsily making a huge mess in one of the tents, destroying numerous fossils in the process. She is fatigued from sleep deprivation, and he invites her over for coffee to talk things over. She is traumatized from having a former coworker at her previous job as a botanist die after becoming entangled with a giant hogweed, and is terrified of losing her job here now due to her clumsiness while processing the trauma.*

*At Alan's suggestion, Ellie tries to get better sleep and stays away from anything hazardous for now. In the next few weeks, she develops narcolepsy, and some of her coworkers play pranks on her while she is asleep. The pranks get more severe when her phobia of starfish becomes known, and eventually the staff start to use dried starfish to keep her away. She stops sleeping and becomes clumsy again. One day, someone places numerous rubber rattlesnakes in the tents while everyone is sleeping (a prank which does not affect Ellie, since she was not sleeping at the site). Everyone suspects her, but the starfish have been taken down and everyone knows she couldn't have done it herself. All of the staff are also banned from a local Chinese medicine store where they had all been purchasing dried starfish.*

*The pranks become less severe for a while, but soon start to escalate again. Alan takes to sitting next to Ellie when she sleeps to keep the harassment away, and comforts her when she is having nightmares. Eventually, Alan begins to fall in love with her. One day, he finds the broken fossils reassembled and organized correctly. No one knows who it was, but Alan suspects it was Ellie.*

*For most of their trip, they have had no luck finding anything at the dig site, but one day Ellie discovers a locality with four raptor fossils and footprints around a Tenontosaurus skeleton. This is major evidence toward Alan's theory that the raptors were social hunters. The dig site gathers attention from scientists and the media, and Ellie becomes better liked by her coworkers. She and Alan try to come up with something to tell the media about the site, wondering why the raptors all died together in the same lakebed. Ellie suggests that the lake may have been shrinking in a drought. While they talk about how the raptors were intelligent enough to experience emotion, Ellie tries to get Alan to admit he loves her, but he misses the cue, and she leaves in frustration. Although a newspaper interview is imminent, Alan leaves the press conference with his staff member Jim and goes to find Ellie before she can drive away. He admits that he has feelings for her, and they begin a relationship. When they hug, they realize that Ellie is covered in rubber cement, and they are stuck together. It takes two hours to get to a hospital to be separated, and by then, Jim's interview has led to many newspapers printing the headline: "After Years of Research, Man Discovers Puddle."*

Alan finishes telling this story to the young raptor, who wishes he could have met Ellie. Alan is still saddened over his partner's death, but is more tolerant about the raptor's inquisitiveness.

### Tooth Fairy

After breakfast, Ellie leads the raptors to meet the herrerasaurs. The raptors have reservations about this, since they don't get along well with other species, and upon their meeting, Morton and Penelope are likewise not happy about the raptors. Ellie convinces them that the raptors are not here to fight, and the herrarasaurs assemble to listen. Ellie tells them all that in order to stop InGen from harming them, they need to band together despite their differences; she quotes a monologue from *Braveheart* to rally them. She plans to recruit more of the theropods from across the island, and her plans are gradually winning the respect of the raptors.

Alan is woken up by the young raptor, who wants to go and explore more of the island. While pestering the groggy Alan, the raptor remarks that his teeth aren't very sharp, and Alan explains how human teeth only grow twice; raptors can grow teeth throughout their lives, and Alan mentions the tooth fairy and must explain this to the raptor as well. Being humorous, Alan claims that she collects the teeth to build weapons of mass destruction, and as the raptor pesters him with more questions, he ends up having to fabricate an epic tale of his battle against the tooth fairy's diabolical armaments.

Ellie has managed to convince some of the Bambiraptors and Compsognathus to join the fight, but the Gallimimus are harder to convince, as they prefer to run away from danger rather than fight it. She does eventually succeed, though. Bucky and Kipper give her a snake to eat, and to avoid a faux pas, the scarred raptor leader interrupts Ellie's "lunch," knowing she can't eat it, to tell her there is too much work to do right now.

The young raptor is enthralled by Alan's tale of his battle against the Tooth Fairy (which he won using the magic floss-whip of Pepsodent). He admires Alan's bravery, and wishes that he could be so brave. Alan assures him that, as a raptor, he is naturally fearsome already, but the young raptor is disappointed in himself because his siblings tease him for being a runt. Alan disagrees, and they end up talking about *Charlotte's Web*, with Alan comparing the raptor to Wilbur. He and Ellie had thought that if they ever had a daughter, they would name her Charlotte. When asked, he figures that if they had a son, they would name him Charlie, and the raptor asks if he could use the name for himself. Alan says that it's a fitting name. While climbing a bluff, they spot a female Gallimimus causing a commotion among a flock, but move along, assuming it has nothing to do with them.

Meanwhile, Henry Wu is at his desk, contemplative. Although Ian is dealt with, the fact that they never found Ellie's body is troubling him. He overlooks the room in which workers surround The Machine, which he hopes will be operative within the next week, but it is currently not calibrated right. A mechanic informs him that the young raptor has escaped, despite being tethered; Wu is confused at first, but then suspects that Alan has helped the raptor get out. He curses the fact that they did not a manganese-titanium guillotine like the alternate-universe InGen he had observed. Angry, he demands that the raptor be found and brought back alive, and that anyone who stands in the way be killed.

### Venom

Ellie and her growing army enter Dilophosaurus territory, wary of the venomous dinosaurs. Ellie herself has been inoculated and is immune to the venom's lethality. She goes ahead to investigate, coming across a small dilophosaur who does not respond to her attempts to speak to him. After a while, he attacks, and Ellie hits him with a rock in self-defense; this causes other dilophosaurs to attack, having been in the trees the whole time. She flees, and her theropod army is forced to retreat too. They all escape across a rope bridge which Ellie severs behind them. However, the lead dilophosaur reveals that he can glide, and crosses the ravine with ease. Ellie, immune to their venom, urges her allies to go on ahead while she stays behind despite the impending attack.

Although Ellie cannot be killed by the venom, it does still have an effect: it gets her high, which confuses the dilophosaurs. No longer interested in attacking the other theropods, they return Ellie to her friends, but do eventually decide to band together with her, if only to see more of her antics. While still high, she hallucinates her Pteranodon guide, though the theropods do not understand what's going on; at one point it sounds to them like she's planning on leaving, but then she declares she would stay even if she had the choice, because she wants to help defeat InGen. The dilophosaurs, who have been carrying her, dump her in a stream, and the cold water snaps her out of her hallucination. She realizes, to her embarrassment, that she had been talking out loud.

Alan and Charlie arrive at the bridge, finding it destroyed. They also witness the tracks of the mixed theropod army and dilophosaur venom splatters, but do not understand what they signify. To cross the river without a bridge, they need to head northward to where the canyon closes and find someplace shallow they can cross.

The theropod army arrives back to Raptor Valley. Although Rocky convinces the chieftain to let the army stay, she is unhappy about it and threatens Ellie while also vowing much closer supervision from now on. Having all the theropods living together is uneasy but they make it work. Ellie is shown the raptors' hoard of items they've collected, including feathers that help them mimic birds, Ellie's once-discarded shirt, and Robin's copy of "Jingle Cats: Meowy Christmas." Tomorrow she hopes to recruit larger theropods, and the raptors reveal that they have tasers in their hoard which could help her transform into a Tyrannosaurus.

At nightfall, Alan and Charlie continue their journey toward Raptor Valley. Alan learns that Charlie never knew his father, and Charlie reveals (through talking about his own anxieties regarding his relationship with his mother) that his mother wants to exterminate humans from Isla Nublar. Charlie, however, doesn't want to kill anyone. Alan realizes that Charlie is stalling their arrival to Raptor Valley with the adventure, since he could have turned into a bird and flown straight home, because he isn't ready for his mother's all-out war to begin. Alan vows not to leave Charlie, and they sleep for the night.

### Reunion

In the morning, before most of the theropods are awake, Ellie goes out to get breakfast and is confronted by the chieftain. She accuses Ellie of being a false leader, claiming Ellie is pretending to be a true raptor and that her misplaced compassion is the only reason the multi-species pack is functioning at all. They fight briefly, but though Ellie injures the chieftain, neither is planning to kill the other (today, anyway). The chieftain states that only a raptor can lead a raptor pride, and that Ellie can never hold that position. Ellie, in turn, accuses the chieftain of being a poor leader, considering how willingly most of the raptors have chosen to follow Ellie instead.

Meanwhile, Alan and Charlie wake to find that InGen troopers are hunting them with tranquilizer guns. Alan tries to convince Charlie to turn into a bird and fly far away, but Charlie is afraid and does not, freezing instead of fleeing. Alan leads Charlie in running away instead, but as they make their escape, Alan is hit with a tranquilizer dart.

While traveling out of the valley, Ellie listens to the raptors talk about some of their misadventures: Kipper recounts Bucky getting into a beehive, while Crusher adds that Bucky also once chased a cuttlefish into a coral crevice and was pinched by a crab. She also learns about their bird forms: Lance can become a falcon, Kipper becomes a kingfisher, Bucky is a rooster, Otto is a raven, and Crusher is a swan. Ellie suggests using their transforming abilities to become parrots and speak to InGen, but the chieftain dismisses this, claiming that not only would the raptors have to learn English, but the humans would not listen anyway. Kipper stops a fight from breaking out by distracting everyone, claiming that he sees a paltry tyrannulet.

Meanwhile, Charlie has saved Alan from a tranquilizer overdose, but it was still enough to put him under for a long time. Charlie fears that Alan will die, but he recovers without any trouble. However, he is still unsteady and vulnerable, and Charlie has to help him keep moving; the InGen troopers soon catch up. They are chased to the edge of a cliff overlooking a raging river, and although Alan urges Charlie to escape, Charlie is unwilling to abandon Alan and drags him into the river.

Ellie overhears the sound of Alan screaming and quickly comes to his rescue, spotting him and Charlie in the rapids. She dives in after him, and the raptors are told by the chieftain to assume she will die and to collect her remains downriver. In the water, Ellie finds Charlie, and discovers Alan knocked unconscious. Upon reaching a calmer stretch, Ellie helps all of them reach a safe riverbank before they can be dragged any farther along. Alan regains consciousness, still woozy from his injuries and the tranquilizer, and briefly assumes he is dead or that Ellie is a ghost; she realizes that he thought she was dead, and that this was why he never came looking for her. As they rejoice in having found one another again, Ellie learns about Charlie, and his mother's plan to have him turn into a vulture and let the other raptors into the InGen compound. Alan, in turn, learns about Ellie's mission. The chieftain, however, is keen to kill Ellie, and uses her detour to rescue Alan as an excuse to execute her. Ellie convinces the chieftain to do it in Raptor Valley, rather than here.

At the valley, Ellie has Alan bring Charlie into the caves so he can't watch. She accuses the chieftain of dooming her species; even if they somehow manage to defeat the technologically-superior InGen, they will not have the moral high ground after all the barbaric things they did not just to humans but to each other in order to survive. Ellie professes her position, fighting for everyone regardless of species, and the chieftain attacks her in a rage. During the fight, Ellie's wrist is slit by the chieftain's claw, and she loses consciousness from blood loss. Moments before everything goes black, she sees a blue-feathered assailant launch into the scene.

## Trivia

* As stated by Elkay in-universe, the original title was Tyrannosattlerrex.
* There was indecision about using the word "silly" in the title, as opposed to other adjectives. "Stupid", "ridiculous", and "crazy" were considered.