Cumbert

Name: Cumbert Swishysword

Physical Characteristic: Average height, bushy beard. Strong muscled arms.

Investiture: None

Skills: Can slice fruit better than a fruit ninja. He also is very able at snatching, then slicing fruit, and is able to appear as having a limitless supply. His crumpets are heralded throughout the pirating world as the best in all of the British empire. He is also is great a piratey things, such as swinging on ropes hoisting the mainstay, or swabbing the poop deck.

Equipment: Rapier, Hat, and crumpet making supplies.

Weakness: He hates cats. If you throw one at him he will scream like a girl (don’t tell him I told you that). He also has a deep aversion to sea monkeys, and sea fleas.

Family: His father: Bluebeard the ‘Not so Great’, was a caring father, and brought Cumbert up in the proper way. Equal parts, pastries and pirating. His mother was understanding of her husband, but did not approve of his drinking. There is not more to be said about Cumbert’s family life, unless you want to hear about his second cousin twice removed, Blackbeard, but who wants to hear about him?

Home Planet: Earth: Pre-Epic

Backstory: Cumbert Swishysword. 32nd most feared pirate of the second sea. Right behind Eric Bluebottom, and Edward ‘I’ll eat anything star shaped’. He was a fine buccaneer with a fine crew born and thrived in the seventeenth century in the rule of Great Britannia.
He began his thieving career early, when he was only an infant. A robed group of men, that he vaguely remembered as having spikes in their eyes, were carrying platters covered in silvery metallic foil. These were inquisitors in the service of Voidus, dark lord of pastries. Though only a youth of 2 years old, Cumbert leaped upon the men of spikes. Unfortunately, due to his small stature he only landed on the first man’s foot. He clung with the strength of ten mice/squirrels/small rodents but the robed men were able to through him off. During the struggle, however, a small pastry had dropped from the platters.
After the men had left, Cumbert delved into the spoils. Alas! These were no safe delicate pastries, but traps bearing hemalurgic spikes, as our Hero would later discover many years later. This hemalurgic spike gave Cumbert the allomantic ability of duraluminum, which increased the ferocity at which another metal inside of him burned. But, as Cumbert could not burn any other metals, the spike was useless.
Later in life, Cumbert Swishysword took up the pirating trade, from his father. His father on his dying day asked Cumbert to take up his own sword and carry on the family trade, namely: sailing the seven seas, and baking delicious crumpets to spite the savages of the mythical crumpetless Isle.
One day on the sea, Cumbert spotted a ferocious whirlpool. He tried to alert his crew, but their ears were stuffed with styrofoam peanuts. As the ship dipped toward the whirlpool, Cumbert lost his balance and fell into the waves. Only, they weren’t waves, but a crack in time and space to the Alleyverse.
Cumbert’s fall was broken by an inquisitor, so he survived. The inquisitor did not.
Cumbert after viewing the Alleyverse in all its glory, decided that he had better go home. Unfortunately it was not so easily out as the portal was thirty-six feet overhead, and swiftly closed. Cumbert was in the Alleyverse for better or worse.

Guild: TUBA (Or at least it will be when they get wind of his crumpets.)

Psyche: Cumbert is overpowering and extremely confident. He assumes that everyone is on his side, unless he thinks they aren’t, then he will throw fruit at you. He is well meaning, unless he’s pillaging you, but a little unconscious of any damage he may be doing to you.

Personality: Boistrous and energetic. He gets his energy from dealing with people, either at sword point, or at the other end of a table in a drinking contest.

Appearance: Fair of skin, and broad of shoulder. Cumbert Swishysword, is by no means handome, but nay is he the most wrinkled apple in the barrel.

Theme Song: “The Pirates Who Don’t do Anything” By Phil Vischer

Fighting Style: Piratical, I can assure you. With deep swings of his cutlass, a boot on the backside, and a kiwi up your nostril, is the fighting way of Cumbert Swishysword.