Interviews/Fault Magazine

### Transcript

Unlike most manufactured conveyor belt pop stars out there, Natalia Kills doesn't have a beginning of the end story to tell. Sitting d own for tea with the fast encroaching, 25-year-old singer-songwriters, at a private social club in New York City, you can immediately sense that she was destined for something much bigger than herself. Her surefooted, rousing persona shows little restraint. Her loud outfits - not to mention that hair - defy the evolutionary science of fashion. Crucially, consider the crescendo of buzz surrounding her ridiculously catchy singles, "Mirrors" and "Free". Her debut album, Perfectionist, has yet to hit shelves worldwide. Cast your ears on her perfectly manicured compendium of heartbreak pop, and you'll surely find yourself mesmerized into submission along with the rest of us. This much is certain: when it comes to her career, she will just about kill to get what she wants.

**FAULT: How would you describe your taste in movies?**

**Natalia:** I actually like a lot of different kinds of movies. Most people assume that I'm into very dark horror movies. I get a lot of tweets that say, "Are you a big Tim Burton fan?" Not that I'm not, but I don't like creepy movies. I don't like chick flicks or anything that involves sharks. I'm into dramatic stuff that is inspired by real people, like *Monster* starring Charlize Theron, or *Boys Don't Cry* with Hilary Swank. I love Quentin Tarantino. I like movies that are almost over the top, but you end up falling in love with these anti-heroes where the bad guys are actually the good guys.

**FAULT: I only ask because you started out acting.**

**Natalia:** I did! It was when I was a kid. Having this child running around the house screaming nursery rhymes and playing dress up all the time, my mother probably had no idea what to do with me. The only kind of performing that I'd heard of at the time was acting, so it didn't really occur to me that I could be something else even though I always loved music. I did pursue a career in acting before realizing that it was all wrong for me.

**FAULT: You still seem to have one foot in that world since you direct and star in your own short films under the umbrella of "Love, Kills xx."**

**Natalia:** That's the thing; it's the "making of" aspect that I really enjoy. It's writing the songs, and the way we shoot "Love, Kills xx" that allows me to be the creator. When you're an actor, you're a character, and I don't want to be someone else's creation. I think that's why I was such a naughty actress, I always tried to change the lines and dressed differently than I was told. I wanted to be more daring and brave. When you're given a script and the director tells you, "This is what you have to do," you can't be yourself. I didn't want to submit myself to that and that's why I had to quit. So it's really nice now that I can be in control and co-direct all my music videos.

**FAULT: What was the inspiration behind *Perfectionist*?**

**Natalia:** I came up with the concept for the album before I wrote any of the songs. It has nothing to do with being perfect, it's about trying to find perfection when everything is falling apart and everything seems devastating. We all know that life can be difficult, but we always strive for the ideal. We all want the perfect boyfriend, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect job, the perfect vacation and the perfect life. We all have these plans in our heads, but the closer we get to them, the more they seem to change. We're always in a constant state of malnourished satisfaction. It can't just be me who thinks that way, and if it is just me, maybe I'm bizarre and selfish. It's definitely the thing that destroys me, but it's also the source of all my ambitions and creativity. I wanted to make an album about the journey of that.

**FAULT: What is the song-writing process like for you? What was the genesis of your most recent single, "Free," for instance?**

**Natalia:** It's about the time when I was a waitress and a starving songwriter with absolutely no money. I always knew I was just one phone call away from perfection - from the perfect life. I was just one check away from the perfect wardrobe. It's that easy. I felt fabulous wearing a ten-dollar thrift store outfit. Literally no one knew that I was struggling at the time because my perfection lay in my happiness, not in my budget. That's my album.

**FAULT: Do you normally set aside time to write music, or wait for inspiration to strike?**

**Natalia:** It's absolutely spontaneous. Don't get me wrong, I can take a title of a song and weave a story with a producer using beats, lyrics and melodies. But on most days, something will remind me of a certain memory from the past, or something that I've experienced - whether it's personal heartbreak or a really exhilarating part of my life where I felt invincible or unstoppable. I write quite autobiographically, where, whatever it is that I think or feel - it's all about that. It's not about one word rhyming with another. I can't have a song that's polluted by a bunch of cheesy words that rhyme together but have no significant meaning. I remember having conversations with friends about money problems - about being a 24-year-old wanting to go shopping and it being very difficult. I was like, "I don't want my lack of finances to own me, I just want to be free." Writing songs is cheaper than therapy. What's the point of telling someone else's tale? You wouldn't go to a therapist to complain about your friends' problems, it's time to talk about your own issues.

**FAULT: Being the perfectionist that you are, do you find it difficult relinquishing some of that control when you collaborate with other artists like will.i.am?**

**Natalia:** Not at all! Collaborating can be brilliant if it's with the right people because they accentuate your stronger attributes. For instance, they'll say something like, 'I see an element of vulnerability in you. Would you be open to being more vulnerable?' That's why I'm on this revenge-seeking rampage. Sometimes you treat guys like you treat the vase that you put your flowers in - you smash their hearts to pieces. Life's not a fucking love song. If you want one, go find someone else because I know it's not like that. The most recent song I wrote is called "Kill My Boyfriend" and that was so easy to do because it's so relatable: 'I could kill you sometimes!' is something that we all say. It's much easier to write songs when you're being honest.

**FAULT: Do you feel more vulnerable or invincible performing onstage?**

**Natalia:** Wow, this question has caught me a gasp! I'd say it's the most amplified version of myself. When I'm singing the more vulnerable songs - "Acid Annie", "Love is a Suicide" or "Broke" - I'm more terrified than if it was just me singing to myself in my bedroom or in my car. It's all about the audience's energy mixed with my own. Every time that I'm onstage, I'm displaying the most unplugged version of myself. It can be vulnerable or powerful, it just depends.

**FAULT: What are you usually thinking about up there?**

**Natalia:** I'm not really thinking. I'm just being. It's a time where I can actually re-enact the delicious mistakes that destroyed me in the past. You know when you're with someone that you truly love and you can just talk very plainly? They will tell you the truth and you take it all in because you know they're being truly honest. It's not about judgement - you're venting and it's therapy. It's not about getting a false reaction out of people. When I'm onstage, I'm expressing my true self and I mean it. We've had so many different movements in music that have shaped our generation. There have always been more light hearted artists like Cyndi Lauper and Britney Spears. There have been darker, troubled artists like the Sex Pistols, Nirvana and Amy Winehouse. We've experienced absolutely everything now that hybrids are coming out. We can be mainstream and still be interesting. We can be raw and not give a fuck. I don't think much has changed. Music will always be music. What was important to our parents, we still feel the same about now. We still have music that can shape a generation - we have it. When people say that music is not the same as it used to be, it's like, really? What fucking planet are you from? We have Adele! We have Beyoncé and Lady Gaga. Are you mad? Music is powerful and it always will be.

**FAULT: Fashion has played an important role in shaping your image as an artist. How would you describe your style?**

**Natalia:** I always like to dress femininely brutal. It's been a more aggressive way of dressing. I've never owned jeans and I don't wear gym shoes, even to the gym. I suppose I favor a more dramatic way of dressing. It can be anything from wearing a leather jacket with a dog collar and some spine heels to something like a Karl Lagerfeld dress. It's always very linear and abrupt. It's very Audrey Hepburn in 2011. I like to use clothes to express the current mood that I'm in. The one thing that I don't do is follow fashion because it's silly. I think it's silly to change everything each season or to feel inadequate because you have to revamp your closet every three months - it's preposterous. I definitely enjoy the color black and I really enjoy heels. One day it might be leather on leather, and the next day it could be tweed and cotton. There are no rules and I celebrate that.

**FAULT: You wear a lot of Jeremy Scott, don't you?**

**Natalia:** I'm a big fan of his because he's so playful. It's like a big "fuck you" to fashion. It's silly, but it's fashion and it's fabulous. And he's right, and he's great. I have a leather jacker of his that's not meant to be worn as a jacker, but as a skirt. It has a zipper and all these buckles - it's insanity and really beautiful. I also like Vivienne Westwood, she's brilliant. Her stuff is hyper-feminine, super chic and it's juxtaposed as a mish-mash of everything and everywhere and I love that. On the other end of the spectrum is Alexander Wang, which is the most understated of understated. His stuff is absolutely divine to wear. It's soft and hard at the same time, and usually all black with a bit of golf or beige. I absolutely love it.

**FAULT: How is Los Angeles treating you these days?**

**Natalia:** I'm going to move next week. Honestly, Hollywood and I have a love/hate relationship. The hate is 51% and love is 49%. I'm an all or nothing sort of girl, so I have to leave. And I'm English; Los Angeles isn't passionate enough for me. It doesn't draw out the correct inspiration for me. It was great to go write my album there because my mind was so clear. I was like, "This is so easy. I'm not flooded by all these overwhelming emotions because I don't feel inspired." Right now, I've finished my book and I need something. I would love to go back to London since that's where I'm originally from, but it's so far away. I think New York is the next move. You know how they say, "Never look back"? If I go to London, it wouldn't be looking back so much as it would be like doing a complete circle. It'll be more like a zigzag or a boomerang. So I'll have to go somewhere else before I complete that circle. I think it'll be New York, Paris and then I'll go back to London - but that will be when I'm older.

**FAULT: What is your FAULT?**

**Natalia:** Everything, but it's fantastic.