Pizza Delivery

Oh, hello GHOULISH-GROUPIES! I was just HACK-TICING with my SHOCK AND ROLL BAND. We're THE CRAN-SCARY'S aha-ha-ha-ha. I do like that song ZOMBIE and my bandmates think its really DEAD-ON heh-heh-heh-heh. But, BILE we're jamming away on our bass drums and SCARE GUITARS here, check out this TASTY-TERROR-TIDBIT, called...

It was raining during an evening back in September of 1970, out, in the small town of Burkley, California. A house stood on a corner of a street and two teenage boys sat out on the front porch, smoking cigarettes together. "Hey, man, do you think they'll catch us?" one teenager said, asking the other. "Heck no Ernie. Nobody saw us run from the fire in the pizza shop man" he responded to him. "Yeah, you're right, Nathan. At least we got free pizza!" Ernie said to him. "Yeah, relax man. Dig the rain" Nathan responded to Ernie, puffing on his cigarette. Ernie sighed and inhaled smoke from his own cigarette, then exhaled. "Mr. Pallano was sure screaming from within that fire we set in his shop, Nathan" Ernie said, coughing. "Mr. Pallano was a fat jerk man" Nathan said to Ernie. Ernie chuckled. Meanwhile, a figure was in a room that was lit red, sharpening a meat cleaver on a sharpening stone. It wore a white apron over its charred and rotting body. Its decaying-body had red veins over it and its head was down, as it sharpened the cleaver.

As the rotting-figure with the unburned bald head that was a man sharpened his meat-cleaver on the sharpening stone on the table, he grunted lowly, as he seemed to gaze at his work with black eye-sockets. The living-dead zombie stopped sharpening its cleaver and examined it closely, grunting eerily away in the red-lit room. Meanwhile, Nathan and Ernie drank bottles of Wild Turkey Bourbon in the kitchen of the home together. "Good bourbon Dad got, Ernie" Nathan said to him. "Yeah, Nathan, and he and your Mom are out of town so they don't know we're stealing it ha-ha" Ernie said, laughing. They walked into the front room and Nathan turned on his t.v. The Brady Bunch started then. The guys sat down on Nathan's couch and drank more of the bourbon. Outside in the rain, a fat shadowy-figure walked onto the street and walked up the driveway of Nathan's house then. As Ernie walked back into Nathan's kitchen, the doorbell rang. Nathan answered his door and the shadowy figure leaned their face into his the light of his front porch then. They were the zombie from the red-lit room, peering at Nathan with his black eye sockets, grunting deeply. Nathan screamed in terror, the zombie rose a baseball bat in the air with his red-veiny-charred-hands, and swung it at him, hitting him in his forehead then.

Nathan woke up on his stomach within the red-lit room. He was on the floor and he had a bruise on his forehead. The zombie with the rotting, burned body came into the room through a doorway and picked up his cleaver from on the table. "Hey, y-y-you're Mr. Pallano. You're freakin' dead!" Nathan said to the zombie. "Yes, Nathan, I came back because of what you boys did to me a month ago! I wanted you both to see my burned body. This is what you boys did to it!!" the zombie of Mr. Pallano said to Nathan in his deep voice. "We freakin' killed you man" Nathan said to the living dead man, getting to his knees in terror. "Time for me to make pizza, Nathan" Mr. Pallano's zombie said to him deeply, and rose his meat-cleaver in the air. "NO!" Nathan screamed, holding his forehead. The cleaver lowered and the sound of it slicing into skin was heard then. Meanwhile, Ernie came out of a closet and into the front hall, with a hammer in his hands. The front door was still open and it thundered as the rain poured. He got to the door, closed and latched it.

He sat down on Nathan's couch and fell asleep. When he woke, The Brady Buch was ending on t.v. and the doorbell rang for the second time. Ernie hesitantly got to the door with the hammer in his hand. "Pizza delivery!" the deep voice of Mr. Pallano's zombie called out from outside. Ernie unlatched the door and opened it. Dead Mr. Pallano stood within the light of the porch in his white apron, holding an open-pizza box in one of his red-veiny-burned and rotting hands. Ernie gasped in horror, dropping the hammer. Ernie gazed at a pizza that looked like a mask with eye-holes in it. But the mask-like pizza was Nathan's dead face. Ernie screamed: "NATHAN!!" and the veiny, charred-hand of dead Mr. Pallano rose his cleaver in the air. The meat cleaver lowered, and the sound of it slicing flesh was heard. Within the shadows of the front hallway, the shadowy figure of Ernie fell over dead. Mr. Pallano's zombie laughed deeply in the light of the front porch.

Looks like Ernie had to FACE IT with looking at NATHAN'S DEAD FACE as FLESH PIZZA FRESHLY PRE-SCARED ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Mr. Pallano was rather on the CUTTING EDGE within his PIZZA CHOP aha-ha-ha-ha! He followed BEAST OF CHICAGO'S SLOGAN: PIZZA DONE FRIGHT hee-hee-hee-hee.

   Mr. Pallano leaning his face into the light of the front porch at Nathan.