Eggsactly

> I bid 37 seeds.
>
> Eggsactly, attempting to buy literally anything.

**Argyle Eggs**, better known as **Eggsactly**, is a shop owner residing in the Black Market. He owns a few businesses, and brought many villagers to the market, leading back to his village background. Eggs is also known for co-hosting auctions with PixelSetGo.

Eggsactly grew up in a village, inhabited by, well, villagers. As he got older, he took notice of the species difference, but it didn’t matter to him. He fit in just fine, other than his fatal lack of trading knowledge. There’s only one thing a villager needs to know how to do: trade. Eggsactly never quite got the hang of it. After maturing, it was clear to the other villagers that he would not be able to truly contribute to the village. He was unable to trade, and unable to breed.

Despite protests from his closest friends, Eggs was exiled from the village. Although saddened, he now had a new goal: figure out how to successfully trade. He figured that the only way he would be allowed to see his family again is if he could prove that he was worthy to stay at the village, and that he could contribute to it.

Although he never got the hang of trading, he was able to pick up on the job knowledge that the villagers had. He could farm, fish, build armor, tools, ect. His skills would immediately be put to the test. He used his woodworking ability to build a boat, and sail the oceans looking for a place to live.

During his maritime voyages, Eggsactly came across multiple structures, hidden underwater. He explored these underwater structures, finding many animals he didn’t know how to deal with. Over time, he got the hang of it, and was able to traverse these buildings rather quickly, though not without a scratch or two. It is here that he discovered many strange tools, nothing like he had ever seen before. Hoping that he could use this to trade, he collected many of them. His first product.

He voyaged more, until he had caught wind of a place with the sole purpose of trading: the Bazaar. But if there’s anything else he has heard, it’s this: don’t pay your taxes. Even if he wanted to set up shop in the Bazaar, he didn’t have money. But, he knew of another option. The Black Market.

## SMPixel

### First Impression

Upon reaching the Black Market, he discovered that it was completely flooded. Judging by the other stands, he assumed this was an anomalous event. Considering it would be difficult to both build a stand, as well as get customers, Eggs camped in the nearby forest until the water was drained, which it later was.

### Trident Insurance

After the draining of the Black Market, Eggsactly was free to start his first business. He decided to sell his tools, which he later learned are called tridents. His enchanting knowledge from librarian teachings, as well as toolsmith teachings meant he could spruce up the tridents for selling. He has had multiple customers, and sold multiple tridents, but for some reason still hasn’t made any profit. He has no idea why.

### Soup Truck

After a few days, Eggsactly managed to come back into contact with two of his friends from the village, being Buddy Alan and Andrew Barter. The two villagers were capable of trading, unlike Eggsactly, so he offered them a job opportunity in the Black Market. Eggs constructed a soup truck, and later invited Buddy and Andrew in. With Buddy’s cooking speed, and Andrew’s acquired tastes, (as well as Eggsactly’s “mysterious ingredients''), they came up with a high efficiency soup system. Regularly, Eggs would leave the truck to Buddy and Alan to gather more ingredients for the soup, while the two villagers cooked and served soup to various patrons. When asked, the villagers confirmed that they had indeed been gaining profits. However, Eggsactly still had yet to make any profit…

### Trial of the Flooding

Living in the Black Market, Eggsactly overheard that a trial was to take place in the courtroom located near his truck. Figuring it was in his best interest to attend, and perhaps gaining a few customers, he cleared his schedule (which definitely existed) and attended. Sitting in the audience, he managed to survive the crystal bombing, as well as the attack of the invisible Slavic ravagers, fighting a few of them off. As things calmed down, he sat in the audience, patiently. Unexpectedly, Eggsactly was called to the stand by Actor, the prosecution. When questioned, Eggsactly provided that he had two businesses in the Black Market, being his Trident Insurance, as well as the soup truck. After further questioning, he confirmed that the flooding of the Black Market, which was the topic of the trial, did indeed affect his business, as it did not provide a comfortable building environment, despite the conduit. The questioning ended, with the “jury” deeming that the flooding did not affect business in the Black Market. The charges were dropped.

### The Great Black Market Dying

While Eggsactly was out collecting ingredients to make more soup, a malicious entity, who regularly conducted extreme vandalism in the Black Market, returned. As Buddy Alan and Andrew Barter were managing the food truck, they heard nearby explosions, as Withers were spawned, killing everything in their path. The two villagers attempted to hide, but they had experienced extreme headaches, not allowing them to think or move.\*\* When Eggs returned, he found the truck empty. Infact, the entire Black Market was empty. He was left alone with the truck.

### Business Departure

Eggsactly had grown up with Buddy and Andrew. They were the two who had argued for him to stay in the village. And he had left the truck, not knowing it would be the last time he would see them. He can’t even remember if he had been able to say goodbye. Every time he entered the truck, he heard the ghostly echoes of the villagers who were once there. He could take it no longer, and sold the truck.

### Round Meal

Eggs had never felt this before. Not even when he was exiled. The village was right. He couldn’t contribute anything. He failed to trade when it was the one thing he needed to do for his village. He couldn’t protect his closest friends after bringing them along with him.

He was losing hope in his purpose, until someone found him, and taught him of the Round Meal. Eggs was told that he would be able to redeem himself, and save his friends if he devoted his actions in favor of the Round Meal. That he would be able to send his friends to a better place. Eggsactly graciously accepted. He was later commissioned to build a church, including a basement to grow herbs that he was given. Eggs was told that these herbs would allow him to speak directly to the Round Meal, and hear its words. He was instructed to write these teachings down, so he did as he was told. Whenever he slept, the Round Meal could enter his dreams, and tell him about his various tenants, especially after using the herbs. After writing many pages, he finished the Round Meal Bible, which would later be distributed around the SMPixel world.

### Pharmacy and Apothecary

After overhearing discussion about the lack of healthcare in the SMPixel world, Eggsactly decided this was a new business opportunity. In the Black Market, he constructed his own pharmacy and apothecary. However, he lacked the medical knowledge required to run the pharmacy. So, he hired a doctor, and gave him control over the pharmacy. Meanwhile, to manage the apothecary, Eggs brought on 4 clerics. A few days pass, yet Eggsactly has not made any profit thus far.

### Water Temple

At the end of the late Sir Pompous’ grave puzzles, Eggsactly, as well as a few others learned about deeper secrets in the Water Temple in his will. Always thinking of business, he figured there could be very valuable goodies he could sell. On the date listed, he, along with PixelSetGo encountered the various puzzles impeding their progress. As they ventured through, he heard voices, speaking to him directly through his mind. After 37 months (he felt it was that long), they reached the end, and were given a choice: Don the Coronet or leave empty handed. And there was no way Eggsactly would leave empty handed. Coming all this way, and forgetting the sunk cost fallacy, he put the coronet on. He looked at his own reflection, liking the new look. However, he noticed that Pixel did not wear the coronet. He didn’t have time to say anything, however, as he was presented with a book. He shared the contents of the book, and cleared his schedule for the task to come.

### The Black Market Auction

In the Black Market, PixelSetGo would be hosting an auction, where various items and trinkets would be auctioned off for diamonds. She took Eggsactly on as an assistant, though at the auction, he didn’t really do much. During the auction, various items were sold, several bidding wars were had, but nothing truly out of the ordinary. Pixel herself gained a nice profit, as well as the other people who had put their items up for auction. Suddenly, underneath the stage, a trap was set off, expelling a TNT minecart, killing the two hosts on stage. The trap was set off by Daboy, and his compatriot.

### Ice Temple

On the date given, Eggsactly, along with Pixel, Eluscara, and Raven arrived at the Ice Temple. Eggs had never seen a pit so deep before, almost endless. With the combined efforts of the 4, they managed to pass through the temple’s puzzles much quicker than in the Water Temple. The final puzzle required jumping over the endless pit, on mysterious platforms that were invisible to the eye. Eggsactly realized here that there were powers much higher than he had previously known. He took his chances, and trusted the voice, jumping into the pit. As he opened his eyes, he found himself in a room, with a mysterious structure in the center. He also found a book, reading that the power of some force was waning, and that people would be cut off. Suddenly, he reflected, remembering the souls of his friends, and how he could save them by performing in the Round Meal’s image.

## Trivia

* Very naive, and doesn’t know what lying is (i mean you can literally trade a villager their own wheat)
* Has some knowledge, but is relatively dumb, as he only received a villagers’ education.
* After his death(s), he has become more susceptible to illicit substances.
* I usually just give people stuff for free, so I made it a character trait
* Does not do drugs or alcohol (knowingly), but is not against them, or putting them in his products
* He lives in Pixel’s Emporium
* The mini trading hall in the bm was built by the villagers, not the character
* Can speak and understand villager grunts
* His favorite flower is the oxeye daisy
* His favorite disc is Wait
* Will run into the nearest building if he hears a bell ring
* Wanted to be an armorsmith when he grew up
* Has a cat named Slomp
* HIS INABILITY TO BREED IS BECAUSE HE ISN’T A VILLAGER. AND NO HE HASN’T TRIED. A NITWIT’S ONLY VIABLE PURPOSE IS TO BREED.
* The person to introduce him to Round Meal in-canon is Father Ron D. Meehl. He managed to convince Eggsactly to build the church, so he can ask for donations during mass.
* No, “docter good guy” is not a real doctor. Eggsactly doesn’t know that.