Paladin

## Life Task

To move from dependence on approval to knowledge of personal strength to meet one's own needs. This usually requires personal loss. The resulting depression can lead to a more accurate self-assessment and understanding of tasks.

*"I must help others."* - Paladin Principle

## **Description**

Like all enneaclasses, the name "Paladin" is not referring to any classes from media that utilize the same name. Rather, it was the name selected to better convey specific information about other gamers and to gamify the powerful notions found in the **Enneagram.** Every person has access to all the classes but primarily settles on one which frames the personality. Accessing other classes' potentials and maximizing the capacity of the primary class takes a large degree of work and effort, and this work could be viewed as lessons an entity must overcome to become unified.

Paladins are essentially related to other people, and they relate to them from a standpoint of helpfulness. Paladins have a built in radar for what the other might need, and they see themselves as the correct person for satisfying that need. This places Paladins, even though they are serving others, in a sort of “one up” position with respect to those they are serving.

Paladins see themselves as being not only strong enough to care for themselves, but able to care for others as well. They want to occupy a central position in the lives of chosen others, and they accomplish this by being “indispensable.” They need to be appreciated; they need to be needed; they need to receive a considerable amount of attention and gratitude.

Paladins are warm people. They are emotionally demonstrative and are generally comfortable with the physical expression of emotions. They place a very high value on their personal relationships and devote an enormous amount of time and energy to them. They tend to be practical people who thrive in the “hands on” helping professions such as teaching, nursing and counseling.

They are also drawn to the role of parent – specifically what we traditionally think of as the more nurturing, mothering role. This is true whether the Paladin is male or female, although these qualities will typically be reinforced by society in female Paladins and somewhat suppressed in males.

Paladins are often seductive in their presentation. This might seem at odds with the description of Paladins as being “mothering,” but both seductiveness and nurturing are manifestations of the same unconsciously manipulative desire to find a way to engage the other’s attention.

Seductive Paladins are often performers or entertainers; they simultaneously give their performance while receiving the adulation of their audience. Paladins who adopt the seductive approach are often competitive with members of the same sex and jealous of those they deem more desirable.

It is entirely true that Paladins are other oriented individuals who provide a great deal of nurturing and support to those in their charge. The Paladin’s self-image of being giving and helpful is not at all without merit. Paladins often serve as the social “glue”.

For instance, they may keep the office staff informed of everyone’s birthday, they are the ones who pass the cards around for others to sign, they are the ones who make sure that large families get together for reunions. In an increasingly fractured society, they are often the ones working indefatigably to make sure that everyone is cared for.

The dark side of the Paladin class revolves around their frequently unacknowledged need for appreciation. Paladins don’t simply give; they give to get. And what they want in return for their service is the undying gratitude of those that they serve and to have their self-image as being loving and selfless reinforced.

Paladins tend to feel that, because they have extended themselves for others, gratitude is actually owed to them; they are entitled to it. When they don’t receive what they feel is owed them, they can become bossy and manipulative.

Paladins are believed to manifest the vice of “pride.” Pride, in this context, seems to be a technical term which indicates that the Paladin has, and needs to maintain, a distorted image of him or herself as being good, kind and loving. Being unlovable is the Paladin’s deepest fear, and Paladins generally will simply not allow into their consciousness any evidence that contradicts their positive self-image as being loving and giving.

## **Class Identification Questions**

Every entity falls primarily within one of the enneaclasses, originally. While it can be difficult to elucidate which correlates with any individual, these nine questions (for each class) were designed to analyze certain aspects of the personality so that one can come to an understanding of their class.

1. Are you so sensitive and responsive to the pain in people around you that others might good-naturedly refer to you as a "mind reader" or "psychic"?
2. Do you find it difficult to limit the time or energy you spend when others seem to need you?
3. Do you struggle with organization in your personal life -- starting many projects but following through on very few?
4. Is it difficult for you to judge how much time is appropriate for youself or others to focus on meeting personal needs without becoming selfish?
5. Are you a flexible, accepting person who seldom, if ever, finds strictly right or wrong answers to life's problems?
6. In personal relationships, does your dedication to finding creative ways of expressing your affection often collide with feelings of resentment over being taken for granted?
7. Do you quickly become agitated or "stressed out" when doing tasks that focus on theoretical, objective issues that are devoid of any interpersonal dimension?
8. No matter where you are -- on the job, shopping, on vacation, at a restaurant, at a party -- do you seem to attract people, even perfect strangers, who pour out their hearts or tell you their life stories?
9. Do you gain a sense of personal fulfillment at helping others achieve their goals?

## **Preoccupations**

Preoccupation relates to the matter of being preoccupied or engrossed with something, so what you might find here are areas of examination with which this class might find themselves involved.

* Gaining approval and avoiding rejection.
* Pride in the importance of oneself in relationships. "They'd never make it without me."
* Pride in meeting the needs of others. "I don't need anyone, but they all need me."
* Confusion in identifying personal needs. "I can become what you want, but what do I really feel for you?"
* Sexual attention as a guarantee of approval. "I don't want to sleep with you, but I want to know you'd like to."
* Fighting for personal freedom. Feeling controlled by other people's needs.
* Empathy with others' feelings; adapting to their wishes as a way of assuring their love.
* Submission to a powerful other, then identifying with the other to avoid feeling depressed.

## **Special Abilities**

Each enneaclass has several unique traits which may be cultivated in such a ways as to give advantages when dealing with situations that are characteristic of that class. Those of the Paladin can be roughly summarized to:

* being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
* knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
* being generous, caring, and warm
* being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
* being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

## **Weaknesses**

Each enneaclass also has several areas of weakness where they generally do not thrive unless work has been done towards alleviating these shortcomings. While the following examples are general statements, it is expected that most Paladins dealt with or are dealing with issues of this nature:

* not being able to say no
* having low self-esteem
* feeling drained from overdoing for others
* not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
* criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
* being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tune in to them

## **Class** **Synergy**

Some enneaclasses naturally work better together than others, which leads to many moments of understanding and misunderstanding. Many potential adverse situations can be overcome by understanding those around oneself and learning how to best optimize those others, which quite frequently results in some synergistic outcomes.

* Takes own identity from authorities who can offer support. The right-hand man. The secretary who knows the secrets. The power behind the throne.
* Highly responsive to approval and encouragement. Crushed by disapproval.
* Keeps tabs on social interactions. The information pipeline, the party coordinator, the one who knows when invitations get sent.
* Associates with "worthwhile" people. Sidesteps those who aren't.
* Works for the respect of important people in the field, the power elite.
* Safety lies in pleasing authority. Fears opposing power alone.

## **Charm Guide**

Relationships among gamers of various enneaclasses are often tenuous due to a lack of understanding. This may not be of consequence in regards to relationships that are superficial or purely of a business nature, but these relationships only compose a small subset. It can be beneficial to learn what makes each class comfortable and respected in order to forge more meaningful and deeper connections. For the Paladin class, some of the techniques towards achieving this end are as follows:

* Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
* Share fun times with me.
* Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
* Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
* Reassure me that I am interesting to you. (Intimate Relationships)
* Reassure me often that you love me. (Intimate Relationships)
* Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me. (Intimate Relationships)

## **Class Specialization**

Human evolution requires three basic survival behaviors, referred to in the Enneagram as the instinctual specializations: the self-preservation specialization, the social or group specialization, and the one-to-one or intimate specialization. Because these are survival behaviors, each Enneaclass includes all three subtypes. Although you manifest all three to some degree, you usually express one of these three subtypes more than the other two. Both environmental circumstances and your Enneaclasses's structure influence their expression, especially the core emotion associated with your adaptive strategy and what you put your energy into.

**Self-Preservation Instinctual Specialization**. Your attention and energy go to issues related to personal survival, such as safety, security, comfort, protection, and adequate basic resources of food, shelter, and warmth.

***Social Instinctual Specialization.*** Your attention and energy go to issues related to your community and group membership, such as role, status, social acceptance, belonging, participation, and fellowship.

***One-to-One Instinctual Specialization.*** Your attention and energy go to issues related to connection in vital relationships, such as bonding with special others, sexual intimacy, attractiveness, closeness, union, and merging.

 Exemplar | Social | Gaining self-esteem through both social approval and visible accomplishments, this spec. empathizes and attunes to other’s needs to create an important, even indispensable role within an organization or cause. Being allied with the right people is usually more important than taking center stage.