Cheer On!

**Cheer On!**is the eighteenth Edward and Eric short. It premiered on Kids' WB on March 1, 1997.

## Synopsis

The P.E. class is all set to play dodgeball, but Coach Monumental doesn't trust Joey's promise of not messing up the game, so he decides to make a few changes...

## Cast

* Andrew Rannells as Edward and Man
* Josh Peck as Eric
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Mike Pollock as Coach Monumental
* Edward Felker as Stanley
* Dan Green as Dallas
* Veronica Taylor as Simon

## Trivia

* The title is a foreshadow at Joey's comeuppance.

## Transcript

(The short opens with Coach Monumental blowing a whistle)

**Coach Monumental:**ALRIGHT, FECKLESS MAGGOTS! WE WILL BE PLAYING DODGEBALL AS PART OF TODAY'S CLASS! (inhales) AHH, HOW I LOVE DODGEBALL!

(Camera pans across the gang as he talks. Edward is frightened, Eric has a dumb grin on his face, Joey is uninterested, Dallas is prepared, and Stanley is asleep)

**Coach Monumental:**THE SOUNDS OF KIDS PAINFULLY CRYING IN THE MORNING! LEARN TO ENJOY IT THE OLD-SCHOOL STYLE! (chugs down a protein shake and sighs in relief. He throws the carton) Do you all have your uniforms?!

(They nod)

**Coach Monumental:**WELL, GET TO IT!

(They rush off, but suddenly, he grabs Joey by the back collar)

**Coach Monumental:**Whoa whoa whoa! Let me have a word with you, Buster!

**Joey:**Does the word happen to be "goodbye"? (tries to escape, but Coach tightens his grip)

**Coach Monumental:**NO!!! (drops him to the floor and takes out a rolling chair, which he hops on) Now, we both recognize the necessity of following rules here, DON'T WE?!

**Joey:**No, I really don't.

**Coach Monumental:**WHAT?!

**Joey:**(rolls his eyes) I meant, "yes, Your Majesty".

**Coach Monumental:**You want to run 7 miles?!

**Joey:**Do I LOOK like a cheetah to you, Iron Legs?!

**Coach Monumental:**7 MILES AFTER CLASS IT IS!!! NOW LISTEN TO ME! Can I trust you in today's game?

**Joey:**Why are you asking ME that? Of course I'm reliable; do I look like an undercover agent?

(Coach's face is blood-boiling red, but he calms down within a nanosecond)

**Coach Monumental:**So are you giving me the impression I can trust you?

**Joey:**(sighs) Yeah.

**Coach Monumental:**Well, I don't believe it one second.

**Joey:**So...what are you gonna do? Do I get to sit the game out? (stands up and heads for the bleachers with his handheld game system) All ya had to say.

**Coach Monumental:**(teleports right in front of him, causing him to fall down) Nope.

**Joey:**So...are you saying I should practice dodgeball more?

**Coach Monumental:**No, because no matter how many chances you get, ya always screw up. So I thought of something better.

(Joey gulps)

**Coach Monumental:**You get to be the cheerleader! (laughs hard)

**Joey:**WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! ***I'M A BOY!!!***

**Coach Monumental:**Well, it fits your personality. And here's your outfit. (hands it to him and continues laughing as Joey storms off)

(Fade to black)

(Joey is now in a full cheerleader outfit. Everybody, except for Edward and co. are pointing and laughing at him)

**Eric:**Whoever she is, I put dibs on her.

**Edward:**No, Eric! That's Joey!

(Joey gets dodgeballs thrown at him, causing a black eye and swollen cheeks to develop on his face)

**Simon:**Cheer for us, loser!

**Joey:**(on the verge of tears) Hey all, you Lakeside Leopard fans, stand up and clap your hands! Lakeside! Lakeside! (performs swift backflips) Lakeside Leopards, (does a side split) YEAH! (cries hard)

(Several students take pictures of him, and we see a shot of the school newspaper, with a picture of him crying on the front page)

**Coach Monumental:**Cheer up, Twinkle Toes, you won't have to do that 7 mile run.

(Joey looks up and smiles)

(Camera immediately cuts to Coach Monumental driving his truck, and Joey chasing after it. Joey's original clothes are in the trunk)

**Coach Monumental:**INSTEAD, YOU GOTTA RUN ALL AROUND THE CITY! (laughs hysterically)

(Joey pants heavily as he sprints faster, but then he trips on a rain puddle and gets covered in mud. Citizens point and laugh at him)

**Man:**Did you forget about Laundry Day?! (laughs hard)

(At the school's homecoming, Joey is with the cheerleaders, still in his uniform, and a huge spotlight shines down on him)

**Joey:**(chanting with the other cheerleaders, except he's crying) Lakeside, Lakeside! You are the best, and you will beat the rest! Lakeside Leopards, show 'em who's the MVP!

(At a pep rally, he is still in his -- you guessed it -- uniform)

**Joey:**(his eyes are now red from his relentless crying) Lakeside Leopards, Lakeside Leopards! You are gold, and everybody else is mold! Lakeside! Lakeside! Go get 'em, leopards! YEAH!

(Dallas is viewing from the top of the bleachers with binoculars)

**Dallas:**(furious) Hmmph...

(Fade to black)

(That evening, we see his fist knocking on a door. Coach Monumental opens it)

**Coach Monumental:**Dallas? Didn't expect ya. How'd you find me?

**Dallas:**I "live right down the road". Just dropping by to say hi.

**Coach Monumental:**Well, that's weird. Never saw ya around here.

**Dallas:**Oh, you know, I'm an early bird jogger.

**Coach Monumental:**Figured. (invites him in) Make yourself at home, what's mine is yours. Want me to fix you somethin'?

**Dallas:**No thank you. But I *am*here to fix YOU something.

**Coach Monumental:**Eh?

(Camera instantly cuts to Coach screaming bloody murder and hiding in his bedroom. He slams the door shut and builds a barricade around it)

**Dallas:**(bangs his fists against the door) ***ARE YOU SORRY NOW?!***

**Coach Monumental:**But he deserved it! And people think it's funny!

(Dallas kicks the entire wall down and grabs Coach by the neck)

**Dallas:**It won't be funny when I force YOU in HIS outfit.

**Coach Monumental:**I'd like to see you tr-

(Dallas glares at him, reducing Coach into a wrinkly old man. He collapses, and Dallas wipes sweat from his forehead)

(The following day, everything is back to normal)

**Joey:**Thank you, Dallas. You didn't have to do that.

**Dallas:**I kinda had to. The guy's a bully.

**Stanley:**I guess this is why people say Death once had a near-Dallas experience.

**Edward:**How is Coach holding up, anyway?

(Cut to Coach Monumental, who is still an old man, and he's now wearing the cheerleader uniform)

**Simon:**If you weren't five times my age, I'd be dating you! NOW CHEER!

**Coach Monumental:**(cries) Hey all, you Lakeside Leopard- (suddenly, his hip snaps apart and he falls down) Ow!

**Simon:**Well, boys, you know what to do. (cracks his knuckles)

(A lot of students begin cornering Coach, and the camera irises out on the crowd increasing in numbers)

("The End" screen)

(Short ends)