268: Basement, Casement, Familiar Facement

## Summary

On their way to the Scarlet Market, the party stumble across the real Gorbis tied up in a basement. They release him and learn that Ricardo Ulysses left him down there with a message for the group: he'll see them in Carnivar. Before setting off again, the real Gorbis and Gwen actually manage to set up a dinner date for that evening.

## Synopsis

The group are heading back towards the Scarlet Market in search of the Hands & Fingers puppet theatre. It's around noon and they're somewhere between Tinkertown and the Warrens when Will, who's senses are somewhat heightened in anticipation of getting to a district where he feels more at home, hears a faint thumping sound from nearby. The others are distracted, especially Gwen who is feeling a little perturbed about her current situation. He identifies the source of the sound as a dusty casement window in a nearby basement. He slows down to get a better look as they pass, and is shocked to see the face of Gorbis behind the glass. He's thumping his head on the window.

Will points this out to Gwen, saying *"Um... your maybe boyfriend is in a window over there."* Gwen's love life is clearly complicated. *"Which one?"* she replies. When Will explains it's Gorbis, and that he was probably locked up by Ricardo Ulysses, Gwen is desperate to help, but Will urges caution because he doesn't want to attract too much attention. He's also concerned that they don't know who's houses this is, and they might be in league with Ricardo.

The others overhear the conversation. Raphina is eager to help and Batthwack just walks over and tries to open the window. There's nothing obvious from the outside that could be used to open it, so he gently kicks the window, more to indicate to Gorbis to move away, but his kick actually unlatches it, there's a click and it swings open. They can clearly see now that Gorbis is bound and gagged and desperately trying to speak. They note that he's not wearing any racing kit.

While the others focus on Gorbis, Will does his best to distract any passers-by, casting *Mage Hand* to trip up an old lady and slap someone else in the face. It's not too crowded on the street and the people that are there are generally heading towards the situation at the staircase, so no-one is really paying any attention to what the party are doing. Gwen squeezes down through the window, a little more twerking action required to get her posterior through, and is closely followed by Raphina who zips down. Sheemie easily slips in too while Batthwack remains outside with Will.

They find that Gorbis is tied up with his hands behind his back and his ankles bound together. He's looking at them with wide eyes and still trying to speak despite his gag. Gwen cuts through his ropes with her razor sharp amethyst talons and finally free, Gorbis breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn't know where he is and says *"Some bald halfling with white clothes and red boots tied me up."* He says that he's been here all night. When the group explain all that he's missed, he's shocked and saddened to hear about the death of Arbiter Beartoggle and the collapse of the stairs. Gorbis says that Ricardo kept talking about a group of people who might find him, one of which would be a *"green turtley dragon guy."*

Raphina calls out to Batthwack, who bends down to look through the window. *"He said, if you found me, I'm supposed to let you know that he'll see you in Carnivar. Does that make any sense? He also said he would understand if you take a detour in Gully's End."* Gwen explains that they know Ricardo, who destroyed her store in Morrow's Inlet, and that he impersonated Gorbis during the race. They also tell Gorbis that Ricardo promised to take Gwen to dinner while disguised as him. The group ponder what it means that Ricardo singled out Batthwack and how he knows so much about their movements and plans. Gorbis tells them that Ricardo boasted how easy it was to track the group.

Gorbis asks Gwen if she wants to have dinner with him after all, and she agrees, somewhat hesitantly. Wondering how they'll ever get back to their ship, Batthwack leans down and asks Raphina if there is another set of stairs, but of course in her day there was no dam. Will implores everyone to stop having conversations through the basement window; it's way too suspicious for his liking. Gorbis says that Ricardo stole everything he had, which leads Gwen to wonder how he's planning to buy dinner later. He says *"I've won multiple Grand Staircase Footraces. Gorbis is a well known name in Beartoggle, especially this time of year."* Raphina offers him some free drink coupons for *Hands & Fingers*, but he says *"I don't know if I would be seen at that theatre."*

Batthwack and Sheemie help Gorbis up out of the window. The old lady is still crying out in pain from when Will tripped her earlier. He's busily telling them all to avoid her and hurry the other way when Batthwack goes over and helps her up. She's very grateful and gives him a wink.

Gwen suggests they check out the house that Gorbis had been incarcerated in, in case Ricardo left any clues behind, and Will is surprised to find the door unlocked. Gorbis says his goodbyes and arranges to meet Gwen at the Toggle Hotel at 8pm. She suddenly feels a little flustered about the fact that she doesn't have anything special to wear and her makeup doesn't really go with her new amethyst colour-scheme. Raphina tells her not to worry and promises to take everyone to a spa at some point.

Meanwhile Will has disguised himself as Dean Kellerman (albeit a shorter version, as the dean was a huge half-orc) and has gone into the house, talking loudly in his nerdiest impression of the dean, in case anyone's at home. Pretty soon though it becomes apparent that nobody lives here; there's no furniture, it's dirty and cobwebby. Will runs upstairs and finds a couple of empty rooms, probably bedrooms, then he goes back downstairs and gestures for everyone to come in. He excitedly tells everyone that this could be a useful place to hide stuff or discuss things in private where at least there's no calliope music. It seems clear to the party that Ricardo was playing with them and only left Gorbis alive in order to pass on his message. Will does his best to rise above it, saying *"Guess who's not going to detour to Gully's End. This guy. I'm going to Tivoli. That's where we're going. So he doesn't know anything. Disregard his dumb message. He is not worth the rumours and stories about him."*

Raphina reminds them of their task at hand, which is go and look at "nudies" and try and recruit some for the dean. Sheemie's very keen on this and is clearly still thinking about Gwen's twerking, making Will very uncomfortable. Gwen curbs their enthusiasm and points out that the theatre might be more of a tasteful exotic dancer place. Gwen, Will and Sheemie all seem to be vying for the position of talent scout, but Batthwack is silent. Will points out that this must be because he has a wife and taunts Batthwack again, changing his disguise from the dean into his interpretation of Batthwack's daughter. Clearly rattled, but trying not to rise to it and do something his contract forbids him to do, Batthwack suggests they head off and starts to walk away.

Raphina and Gwen both voice their concerns about taking the 14-year-old Sheemie into a strip club. Will couldn't care less and thinks they're being a couple of squares. It's suggested that perhaps Sheemie should wait outside when they get there.

## Trivia

* The episode title referred to the source of the strange banging noise (Eric: *"It seems to be from a basement casement window"*), which turned out to be Gorbis (Eric: *"you're now in a basement with a halfling man..."* Abby: *"...with a familiar facement"*)!
* The underage drinking scene from Hot Fuzz: https://youtu.be/G2gLBMXfnuw
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: supportive.

## Recap Song

*Main article: The Music of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode featured Abby doing a recap to the tune of *I Think We're Alone Now* by Tiffany!

*[Verse 1]*

Gwen's falling fast

And dragonborns aren't built for flying

Will tries to save her

And Gwen's gems helped prevent her dying

*[Pre-Chorus]*

The falling stairs get blasted away

And Will casts *Fly* so no one dies today

Trying to figure out who was next to save

We spot a floating Gorbis

And he's changing his behaviour

And we say

*[Chorus]*

Oh crap, it's Ricardo

Red thigh-high leather boots were the final clue

Gorbis is Ricardo

The DM got us good and we should have knew!

*[Verse 2]*

Will can't tell what

But he is sure that something's now gone

Annie Parr's nose

Has fallen off, time for a new one

*[Pre-Chorus]*

Free coupons for *Hands & Fingers* theatre

Of puppeteers and stripping to one's peter

Sheemie's eating a pickle all this time

Wearing a staircase hat

And he gives it to Raphina

And we say

*[Chorus]*

Did you see Ricardo?

Those thigh-high leather boots fooled us once again

Gorbis is Ricardo

That bastard stole from Will but not from Gwen (or anybody else!)

*[Verse 3]*

My notes trail off

At the university

There was no guard

But I think I fell asleep then

*[Pre-Chorus]*

Gwen did a super sexy dance

I don't remember why but it was great (Woohoo!)

Tell me everyone what else did I miss?

I've told you all I've got

And so I hope you get the gist

Of which is this:

*[Chorus]*

Oh crap, it's Ricardo

Red thigh-high leather boots were the final clue

Gorbis is Ricardo

That DM got us good and we should have knew!