Welcome to Cilium Jail's Fuckery

**Welcome to Cilium Jail's Fuckery** is the sixth session in Season One of Wacky Ribbons.

### Notes

Breakfast:

-Chenille wakes up first, goes straight to counter and orders 4 cups of black coffee

-Ruby wakes up second, has been meditating and sleeping for an entire day, sits with Chenille and eats

-Acacia wakes up third, fails to teach Fatty yoga, sits alone at a table with Fatty

-Song wakes up fourth, orders a ridiculous amount of waffles, and sits with Acacia

-Ipu wakes up fifth, sits with Ruby and Chenille, side eyes Chenille’s caffeine intake

Ipu: What’s up? We haven’t seen you in a bit.

Ruby: Yeah I was sleeping most of the day yesterday, but I’m ready to roll! Chenille doesn’t seem ready for... Anything

-Relovan sits with Acacia and Song, fails at petting Fatty

-Trongy gets the map from Ipu

-Chenille drains a second cup like a shot, gets ignored, Ipu recaps the previous days events to Ruby while also dragging Chenille right next to her. Ruby drags Trongy. Lots of shade at the breakfast bar

-Relovan compares Trongy to a hard boiled egg. It takes Acacia a solid 10 minutes to understand but once she does she thinks about nothing else. Frankly, the metaphor doesn’t make sense, but no one tell them that.

-Chenille finished her 3rd cup of coffee, Ruby asks if she’s ever tried any deep breathing exercises. She basically tells him to fuck off.

-Song goes to try to talk to Trongy. Big mistake

Song: /waving his hands weirdly/

Trongy: You just uh... you just blow in from stupid town, buddy?

Song is absolutely devastated

Jail Entrance:

-Cellar door guarded by dog. Song successfully pets him.

-Dog bites Relovan. Relovan? Surprisingly bad with animals

-Acacia talks to the dog. Dog is very unhelpful.

-Chenille reminds Ipu he has pipes literally for charming animals, Ipu uses them, and everyone makes their way through to the dungeon

Jail Room 1:

-3 suspicious potions in 3 different colors, piles and piles of treasure, and a door on the other side of the room

-Chenille asks Relovan about the coins because they were in their “shady puzzle race”, Relovan shows her that they’re mimic bugs, thinks it’s a good idea to put one on Chenille’s shoulder, she screams at them

-They decide the best way to figure out what the heck is up with the potions in to have Relovan drop the mimic bugs in them. Bugs go fuckin nuts.

-DM: you notice a little ribbon around the lip of the jar

Chenille: Oh, because we’ve learned to *trust* ribbons!

-Chenille makes a jab at Relovan and sarcastically tells them to drink it and then they FUCKIN DO THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN

-Relovan is taken out of commission. This problem is solved by Trongy pulling off Relovan’s sunglasses and unleashing Ray

-Chenille tells Ray to burn the door. He kicks down the door instead. It was unlocked, he didn’t need to, he just did it to show off, has the same energy as the video of the dude punching the milk carton

Jail hallway (room 2)

-walking order: chenille, acacia, song, ruby, ipu, trongy, ray

-boulder starts rolling indiana jones style, there are traps all over the floor, chenille runs right into a trap, her sleeve gets burnt off

-acacia tries to cast entangle, spell doesn’t work

-Song and Ruby run down the hallway, song gets hit but minorly, and Ruby avoids all traps

-Ipu picks up Acacia and keeps running, not hitting any traps

-Ray grabs Trongy and forces her to stand still and wait for the boulder

-Chenille keeps running, avoids traps

-Acacia yells “Stop!” and tells everyone it’s an illusion boulder

-Everyone stops except for Chenille who continues and checks the traps, warning everyone

-Alex makes us all go down a greased ladder as her final trick

Jail room 3

-room has 6 small cells with windows, insides nondescript

-Chenille enters room #6 and Trongy follows after her telling her its a stupid idea, the walls start to move in on them. Trongy was right

-the whole gang tries and fails to break open the door, trongy and chenille yell at each other per the usual

Chenille: I don’t have magic--you have some sort of magic I think?

Trongy: You think I’m some sort of fucking wizard or something? I don’t do MAGIC TRICKS I play a BASS GUITAR!

-Chenille figures out that the walls are only real if you struggle against them, (Trongy also said the ‘if i die because of you im gonna kill you’ thing that chenille said earlier. It’s like a pact. An angry death pact.) they stop, trongy hotboxes the room, song breaks the door, party assumes all cells are trapped

-room 3 spike trap! Ruby and song go into the room, ruby stops it with his staff, chenille picks the lock

-ray goes in room 4, there’s a click but the door stays open, he stepped on the “bear switch”. A bear skeleton falls from the ceiling, acacia goes bear bone collecting.

Acacia, crying, holding the bear bones: they forgot to feed the bear...

-chenille goes into room 1, nothing, she goes into room 2, there’s a clock counting down from 10, it gets to zero and the door opens

-acacia goes into room 5, there’s some stuff but no traps, we successfully 100%ed the trap room for no clear reason

-song knocks on the exit door and has to ask to enter for it to open. It was THAT easy the whole time

Jail room 4

-mundane and normal room, 12 cot beds, a table in the back of the room with some sheets of paper, an abacus, and a giant treasure chest

-chenille goes over to look at the treasure chest and gets fuckin SHOT AT by a very threatening npc and that’s where we ended

Cliffhanger bitch