Comic Book Guy

Jeffrey "Jeff" Albertson, better known as Comic Book Guy, is the morbidly obese, surly, sarcastic, and geeky proprietor of Springfield's local comic book store, The Android's Dungeon and Baseball Card Shop.

Comic Book Guy is a middle-aged, obese, almost fanatical comic buff and displays deep passion regarding all fictional memorabilia in general, especially science fiction to the point of complete monomania. Sarcastic, irate and proudly geeky, Comic Book Guy does not treat anyone with kindness unless they are as passionate about comics as he is. Most of the character's infamy and trademarks are derived from his constant sarcastic observations, quips and distinct accent. Comic Book Guy's Obsessive-Compulsive fixation with comics is such that when somebody placed a Spider-Man comic inside The Spectacular Spider-Man slot, it was enough to make him angry. He is so stressed about people's comic book ignorance around him that it caused him to have a heart attack, while Dr. Hibbert later calls his profession as owner of a comic book store one of the most stressful jobs in the world, referring to it as the "widow-maker" (if any [comic book store owners] had wives).

Aside from following Radioactive Man, the ongoing Hollywood movies and fast-paced internet nudity, Comic Book Guy is also a fan of Marvel and DC Comics such as Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, Fantastic Four, Hulk and many more. He also enjoys Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Game of Thrones, and Japanese anime. Comic Book Guy owns, amongst his vast collectibles, a Hulk melon baller (which he originally intended as a wedding gift to Skinner and Krabappel), costumes of Spider-Man, The Flash, Batman, Spock, and a Klingon Warrior, several life-sized cardboard cut-outs of various Star Wars characters, Star Wars sheets, and a Jar-Jar Binks figure which he sleeps with. Comic Book Guy speaks fluent Klingon, Mordor Black Speech, has set his life on routine of the Vulcan mating ritual Pon Farr, has a restraining order on Lynda Carter, and has a crush on Star Trek actress Nichelle Nichols, Batman's Catwoman, and Get Smart's Agent 99.

Aside from his more onerous personality traits, Comic Book Guy is also prone to doing illegal behavior. Comic Book Guy has a massive collection of bootlegs of stolen movies, police interrogations and even ones regarding homeland security in his basement. This once got him arrested by the Springfield Police Department after his stash had somehow leaked to them. Likewise, he also attempted to illegally report on a test showing of the Mel Gibson remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington via a desktop computer, only for him to somehow get caught and thrown out of the Aztec Theater as well as having his computer junked by them (as well as expressing irritation at them neglecting to return the mouse to him until they promptly toss it back to them before politely thanking them).

Comic Book Guy has a habit of stating his emotions and what is occurring or how he is feeling as it happens. When he was having a heart attack, he yelled out the symptoms; "breath short, left arm numb" before he collapsed and yelled "can't go on describing symptoms any longer". Comic Book Guy often states what he thinks in a matter-of-factual way, such as the method listing "A, B" and using words like "correction" or "false" whenever he corrects somebody. In addition, Comic Book Guy refers to comic books as if they were actuality, for example when Stan Lee entered the Android's Dungeon, he proclaims "my heart is pounding like Thor's hammer against Doctor Doom's titanium breastplate". He has shown to be one of the few characters who non-directly break the fourth wall in his canon appearances. For example, in season 11, when Marge asks if the Simpsons should get a horse when Bart wanted to adopt Duncan, Comic Book Guy noted that the Simpsons already had a horse in season 3 (even though he was not involved in that situation and didn't appear in that episode at all).

Comic Book Guy treats most of his patrons cruelly and usually extorts his customers out of expensive collectibles or tricks them altogether into buying something. For example, claiming to Milhouse, who desperately needed it, that the bathroom was only for paying customers tricks him into buying a comic before allowing him to be taken away by his father, paying five dollars for priceless unseen Star Wars memorabilia and selling Fantastic Floors under Fantastic Four. Comic Book Guy is quite bitter, keeping a banned list of Milhouse, Bart (with those two being banned solely because they stopped Martha Price from unknowingly selling the aforementioned priceless unseen Star Wars memorabilia), Sideshow Bob, Nelson and Matt Groening in his store (although the first two he lifted the ban on after they saved his life upon having a heart attack), and after being made a fool of by Tom Savini during the latter's comic act, just prior to his heart attack, he angrily declared all the audience to be banned from his store for laughing at him. Once, he insulted Duff Beer in front of the patrons at Moe's Tavern while recovering from the aforementioned heart attack by calling it the "nectar of the nitwit", which resulted in him being thrown out of the bar (as well as Lenny attempting to partly break the Duff Beer bottle he had with the intention of stabbing Comic Book Guy with it as revenge, only to accidentally shatter the entire bottle). Although he lives a solitary lifestyle and his lack of social skills prevent him from ever making headway in a relationship with a woman until meeting his future wife Kumiko, Comic Book Guy proclaims before his near-certain death that a life of collecting comics and other fictions was a "life well spent'.

Although onerous, he has had some positive elements to him. For one thing, he willingly allowed Marge Simpson to access his recording of Abe's breakdown at church so she could transcribe what exactly Abe said, in exchange for Homer's long pajamas, and even attempted to aid Marge in figuring out what Grampa meant by "Epa! Epa!" to the best of his ability.