04.03g - "Sniffin' Time"

Brynne looked over at Bismark, then back to Apostrofae. "Dinnae worry bout it---tha's what it's fer. So's i were thinking, I'm gonna blood pig soon, an i don' really know how he's gonna be in combat. Some o them git tha bloodlust and berserk. I figure," she draws herself up proudly, "Tha we kin get'im ter smell all o us an know us fer friens! Whaddya think?"

“Sure.” Apostrofae said. “I just need 10 minutes....then the booze hits...maybe 20.”

Brynne smiled. "i was gonner do it meself, but wit you tellin him what ter do..."

“Let’s head over to him and I’ll start.” Apostrofae told her. Brynne pumped her fist.

Able sits around the campfire, eating jerky stew and watching the drama unfold, as he saw Bismark go off to talk to a guard that has been assigned to the last watch of the night briefly, and returned, getting his gear in order for the evening

Apostrofae sat down near the warpig and began to slowly and painstakingly draw runes in the ground around her, sometimes needing to close one eye but in time completing the ritual. “Hello warpig, how are you enjoying the road?”

"Dewey" snorts a few times and excitedly answers, "New smells! Screams today!"

Brynne patted Dewey’s shoulders. "Postrofae---tell Pig that he needs ter come with us n smell ever one. You, me, Blak, Able, Biz---Gamble too if ya know where he is. Make sure he gits a good sniff o' their crotches. Tha's abou' tha righ' height fer him."

As the two walked Dewey around teh camp, Apostrofae introduced him to the members of the party, inviting him to smell  them and get their scents. “All of the people that you are meeting right now are friends. When we get into a fight make sure that you don’t attack them.” As they got to Able, he managed to stay calm while Dewey poked his nose around in his crotch.

"Tha's righ---tell 'im these crotches ain't fer eatin'" Brynne said.

When the pig came by to sniff around, Bismark started taking some measurements. Able called over to him. "Making a dress for your new girlfriend, too?"

Seeing what Bismark was up to, Brynne beamed. "Tha's mighty fine o you, Bismark! I dinnae figure I'd have any kind o gear fer him fer months!"

The pig turned quickly in a circle, showing off. "It's going to be a vhile, vith ze schedule out on ze road" Bismark told her.

A guard walking by in the distance suddenly stopped nearly getting run over by his partner right behind him "The fuck?" Able glared at the nosey guard.

"Charge and Tear!" the guard said.

"We're making a dress for your mother, using the only suitable model available. Rut. Off." Able told him, shooing them along, causing Brynne  to crack up in laughter.

“We are just showing him who not to kill tomorrow when the fighting starts.” Apostrofae told him.

"Sorry, just not used to crotch rituals outside of the Mule and Pickle" the guard said, shaking his head and moving along.

Able looked confused. "What's a Mule and a Pickle?" Able smirked and imitated Blak's voice. "Plus his nose is tickling me in the funniest places!"

Brynne and Pig find Blak making small-talk with Leda. "Hey there, Blak! Postrafae n me are teachin' pig who is friends are! C'mon over so's we kin introduce ya. It'll jus be a minute"

"If you'll excuse me Leda, I need to go shake hands."  Blak said, smiling and walking over

Brynne grinned as she saw Blak walking towards them. “Bring Leda too. She’s a friend” called Apostrofae.

Blak looks at the enormous creature. "Oh, sure."  The bard leaned over, "Leda! Would you mind joining us?  You're a friend in need as well I'm told."

Leda, an actual grin on her face, strides up to the warpig, looking at it approvingly. "I've only seen these big bastards in jousting tourneys in Dwarftown."

"Jousting?” Blak asked, surprised. “I thought that was horses?"

“Warpig, this is Leda. She’s a friend. And this is Blak he is a friend too.” Apostrofae said, pointing to their respective crotches.

"Dwarves are a rowdy bunch as I'm sure you know." Leda said, nodding respectfully to Brynne. "They like to do things a little .  .different"

“Warpig didn’t like jousti...uhm..I mean he wouldn’t like jousting.” Apostrofae told her.

"Uh huh" Leda said, remaining calm as the warpig sniffed around.

“He’s very excited to taste his first blood in a real battle.” Apostrofae informed her.

"Pigs eat blood?" Blak asked. “Is that what their backward fangs are for?  Like a vampire?"

After getting a good sniff of the two, Dewey began to rut around at the ground. Brynne gave him a nice long scratch and told him what a good strong boy he is, speaking in dwarven.

The Pig said to Apostrofae, "I really like Rider"

“and she likes you.” Apostrofae replied, then turned to Brynne. “He says he likes you Brynne”

Blak adjusted his codpiece. "Well, he surely is a friendly sort.  Does he always...uh...shake hands each time he meets folks?"

“Do you want him to?” Apostrofae asked. “I can ask him”

Blak finished his adjustments. "No, not really...uh...unless that will be rude to him...I wouldn't want him to like, tighten his grip as it were to prove a point"

"D'awwww!" Brynne said, patting her pig.

Apostrofae nearly smiled. “No these are just introductions. He’s usually more interested in eating.”

"Sparkly one smells nervous. Why?" asked the pig. “He’s nervous about his wiener. Afraid you might bite it off. He seems pretty proud of it.” Apostrofae replied.

"E a t i n g?" Blak asked. "Well...it was nice to meet you Mr. Pig - Does he have a name?  Anyway, I really must get going. Tah tah for now!"

"Well yeh! Pigs n boars'll eat anythin" Brynne said as Blak quickly scurried away.

The pig snorted. "Why?"

“Why is he proud of it or why does he think you might bite it off? Apostrofae asked

The pig seems genuinely confused by the question. "...yes?"

“Just don’t bite him. We can talk more about him later. “ Apostrofae told Dewey.

"Wait . . . sparkly man goes INTO battle?" the warpig asked, and started snorting in laughter.

“Not that far into battle” Apostrofae told him. “He sings and it does things. You’ll see.” She got up and looked to Leda. “I like your fighting clothes Leda. Where did you get them?”

"Buckles R' Us" she replied.

“Where is that?” Apostrofae asked.

Leda adjusted a strap. "One of the armorers I escorted from Neverwinter down to Waterdeep got me an amazing price at his new shop he set up in Waterdeep. I can point you in his direction when we get there"

“Thanks. I just got these and I think I rushed her. They fit weird” Apostrofae said adjusting her own. Anyway, I guess I should get back to working with warpig ” she said in an oddly flustered voice.”

Leda looked on Apostrofae. "I think that armor looks mighty fine on you, Apos. Just make sure you keep your head on a swivel if you get in a scrap out there. I'm sure you can hold your own. I heard what you did to those poor, defenseless hobs" She laughed at her own joke, and with permission gave the pig a hearty pat, then turned back to her duties"