Evil Memory Lapse

Even evil geniuses can't remember everyone. Watch as the professor tries to figure out who his new nemesis is and what she wants with him.

## Transcript

Matt: Then after that, we will plan the assassination of… Blegh!
Whitney: It seems I've finally caught up with you.
Matt: It would seem we meet again.
Whitney: For the last time, it seems.
Matt: Seemingly... I have no idea who this person is, will you look into it and get back to me quickly, please? Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

Matt: So…
Whitney: You know why I'm here.
Matt: Of course, I do. You're here for...
Whitney: The money.
Matt: The money. You're here for the money, and I have it. Here.
Whitney: I thought it was hidden in a Swiss bank account?
Matt: It is…was! Until I made it not that way.
Whitney: So, yet another surprising and diabolical twist from the evil mastermind. You've outdone yourself, professor Murdock.
Matt: Yes, it seems I pulled the wall over your eyes yet again, miss… blegh.
Whitney: Well no matter, I still have the upper hand, so long as I possess this!
Matt: You know, I'm not even sure if I want that.
Whitney: Don't play the fool, professor. Do you realize how many people you've killed in your efforts to obtain this?
Matt: Well, it's not like I keep a running tally. Five…?
Whitney: Ten thousand.
Matt: That is more than five.
Whitney: How many more lives must you ruin before you come to reason?

Matt: Tell me, have you undergone some kind of plastic surgery recently? Acid thrown on your face?
Whitney: Do you honestly not recognize me?
Matt: Well…
Whitney: Wait, here.

Matt: No, that made it worse.
Whitney: What?!
Matt: Well, I'm sorry, I have a poor memory for faces. And you.
Whitney: But… we've been arch-foes...we've been arch-foes for nearly seventeen years!
Matt: Really?
Whitney: You killed my father.
Matt: On purpose, or like I accidentally backed my car over him?
Whitney: You strapped a bomb to his chest.
Matt: That does sound like me.

Whitney: So you have no idea why I'm here?
Matt: Well, I've put a few things together. You want some money, and I apparently want that tiki-man.
Whitney: Well, I'm not giving him to you now.
Matt: What? Why not? I don't know why, but I want it.
Whitney: No! It's insulting how many lives you've ruined, and you don't even have the decency to remember why.
Matt: I do feel like a tool for that.
Whitney: And to think that I used to love you.
Matt: Wait, back up a moment.
Whitney: We used to have something special.
Matt: Really? Why did it end? Was it because of your current haircut, or...?

Matt: That was out of line.
Whitney: That's it, I'm going to destroy it.
Matt: No madam, please, be reasonable. I'm willing to negotiate.
Whitney: Fine. Tell me my name and it's yours.
Matt: Cynth… May… Bri… Jemima.
Whitney: Dang it!
Matt: Really? Jemima?
Whitney: Shut up!
Matt: Okay.

Matt: Ah, doctor Gray. The situation is well in hand. Here, see if we can use this for something evil. A lawn gnome, I don't know.
Whitney: It's good to see you again, John.
Jason: Do I know you?
Whitney: I am your mother!
Matt: You have your mother's hair.

## Trivia

* This is the last sketch of Season 1 Episode 3
* The sketch was uploaded on the same day as the episode aired on BYUtv.
* Evil Memory Lapse is an adaptation on a sketch made by BYU Divine Comedy in 2010.
	+ The roles of Jeremy Warner and Jason Gray were instead played by Jordan Smith and Gregory Schulz, respectively.
* This is the tenth sketch to be written by Matt Meese.
	+ This includes one sketch in Season 1 Episode 1, six sketches in Season 1 Episode 2 and three sketches in Season 1 Episode 3.
* The Cast members are, once again, not using their own names in the sketch. All named characters have different names than their own names.
	+ This is the third sketch in a row, where at least one Cast member is appearing with a different name.
* Jeremy Warner is playing an unnamed henchman, a role he would repeat to play in more sketches in the future.
* Matt Meese is playing the villain, a role he would repeat to play in a sketch with Lady Shadow, among others.
* This is the oldest sketch where the old description and the new description are partially the same. The only thing that changed, was that a sentence was added to the summary of the sketch.