How To Be Haley Coyne

HELLO! I am Adam Montana and I am here to teach you how to be just like Haley Coyne. Why would you want to be like Haley Coyne you ask? Well the answer is simple... I don't know honestly. Now enough with the bullshit. Lemme teach you fucks how to be like Haley mfkn Coyne!!!

1. **PURCHASE WIRE FRAMED GLASSES!**

These outdated specs ensure success in whatever you happen to pursue. The glasses are a MUST if you want to be like Haley Coyne. You can obtain perscription glasses or if you're broke like me... buy a pair or two at your local Dollar Tree. :D

2. **HAVE A CUP OF STARBUCKS WHEREVER YOU GO!**

Haley Coyne is Starbucks' #1 customer. Wherever Haley goes she has a cup of Starbucks with her. No. Literally wherever she goes she has a cup of Starbucks. At pep rallies, during church, while bathing, funerals, etc. Hell, Haley Coyne would even be hanging on to a Starbucks cup for dear life while riding someone's wee wee.

Any flavor of this overpriced coffee is acceptable. You must take it wherever you go.

3. **OWN A MEXICAN FLAG**

You can easily find one of these gems on Amazon.com. Just hang it in your front yard and you geechi. Nothing more to explain. :D

4. **BE SMART AF**

Haley Coyne isn't a dumb bitch. This ho is basically a genius. This ho is Jimmy Neutron the female version. If you really want to be Haley Coyne you need to **at least** have a 3.7 GPA. Having a GPA lower than 3.7 and *"TRYING"*to imitate Haley is the highest form of disrespect to her.

5. **OWN A DOG SPECIFALLY THE TERRIER BREED**

Haley Coyne's partner in crime is her badass dog ***Oreo***. ***Oreo*** is of the Terrier breed (I think it is lmao), so snag a Terrier and name it after a popular cookie brand. You can name it ***Chips A Hoy*** or ***Little Debbie***or ***Nilla Wafers*** or ***Fig Newton***. Basically any cookie brand is fine.

FUN FACT: ***Oreo*** is openly homosexual and doesn't discriminate when it comes to other species. ***Oreo*** recently broke up with a squirrel after three years of dating.

6. **REPLACE YOUR LIGHT BULBS WITH YELLOW LIGHTS**

There's some bizarre poltergeist shit going on in the Coyne household. All of their lights give off a strange yellow tint for some odd reason. It's like an infinite Sepia filter FX going on in her home. Imitate Haley's lights by purchasing yellow light bulbs from Amazon or eBay and make your home yellow af. But seriously, her yellow lights are a strange phenomena. I don't think her utilities are being paid. ;)

7. **STAN FOR DEMI LOVATO**

Yeah, I know... Haley Coyne has bad taste in music. But if you want to be like Haley you must become a Demi Lovato fan. You need to listen to her music from her Camp Rock days to now. Watch all of her funny X-factor moments and follow her on all forms of social media. Demi Lovato is what motivates Haley to be the bad Mexican bitch that she is. <3

8. **HAVE LONG NAILS**

It's going to be hard as hell gripping that Starbucks cup with Eagle hands like that, but if Haley can do it, SO CAN YOU. Having long nails shows dominance. Nothing screams boss bitch like having freakishly long nails. Make sure the length is about the same as the image above.

Anything like that is just... wrong on so many levels.

Well that's my How-To on being like Haley Coyne! Later bitches. Adam Montana out. <3