FART WARS

## Text Crawls/Episodes

### Episode 1

A long time ago, in a frozen Canadian wasteland far far away... The Techsmith consortium descends on the planet of Ligg, filled with a peaceful species of Goblins, called the Ma, well known for their food delicacy, Donk. The head Techsmith demands the use of techbucks, but the Goblins refuse, saying, "Ligg ma NUTS, Techsmith! We will always use bloints, You better be GOBLIN My DONK down your mouth, or your insult will never be forgiven." So the stage is set for an epic galactic conflict.

### Episode 2

It is a new day on planet Ligg. The Techsmithian ground assault is repelled, and the Ma Goblins continue to use bloints as their currency. But The Grand Buttsmith Blumpkinian has vowed to destroy the Goblin economy in any way possible. An insidious plan hatches in the twisted mind of the pimperor of the Techsmithians: A new game, called "GAMBA" is unleashed. Will the Chat Goblins lose it all and be forced to use techbucks? Or will the rearest of Butts finally accept Bloints as legal tender?

### Episode 3

Our Goblin Heroes search for an ancient artifact that may promise to demolish the GAMBA infrastructure: The Boozle. Legend has it, this device can change food into a wide variety of horribly unappetizing flavors. With it, the Goblins can manipulate the most popular GAMBA of all, the Bean arena. But the Boozle is in the hands of one of the most nefarious beings in the galaxy: Crimos the Smutt, so called God of Crime. WILL CRIMOS help the oppressed Goblins? Will the Rebels of Ligg Ma succeed?

### Episode 4

Grand Buttsmith Blumpkinian searches for the Boozle on the homeworld of the old Modd order, Black Mesa. But the rebels have an ace up their sleeve. Crimos has joined the rebellion, and knows of an ancient prophecy: No Techsmith can ever finish anything on Black Mesa. Will the last members of the Modd order join with the Rebels? Or will they join Pimperor Tryfinger and use their powers to oppress Goblins everywhere? Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of: FART WARS

### Episode 5

A new dawn rises on planet Ligg. Word arrives of the victorious first strike against Grand Buttsmith Blumpkinian with the Mag Dump cannon, which has crippled the fleet above Black Mesa. The ancient Modd order of peacekeepers has joined the Rebellion against the Techsmithians, and the first of the new Goblin recruits are being trained, known as the Mynd. Armed with ancient swords called deeznuts, they become well know for their battle-cry: Mynd Goblin deeznuts! Stay tuned for more: FART WARS

### Episode 6

Our heroes search for a new ally against the Techsmithian oppression. On an Outer Rim planet called Bunk'Err is a fabled war mech known only as Three Thirteenio. Tales hold that this battle bot can turn the tides of any conflict by screaming random insanity at his targets, and the Ligg Ma chat Goblins vow to rescue him. But Pimperor Tryfinger plans to use the evil nature of Bunk'Err to constantly wipe the memory of Three Thirteenio. Will he succeed? Find out in the next episode of FART WARS!

### Episode 7

The rebel alliance grows stronger with each passing day. Goblins, Crimosians, and aliens of all kinds join the rebels while laughing at Grand Buttsmith Blumpkinian's Lewd Tramp Stamp Scandal. Meanwhile, Boo-dorian mercenaries everywhere join forces to take back their homeword in the scariest way possible. By showing Techsmithian soldiers arms and playing repetitive loud noises. Will any Techsmith overcome the fear of their own body parts? Find out, in the next episode of: FART WARS

### Episode 8

Grand Buttsmith Blumpkinian arrives at the desert planet, Tattoo-Clean to look for the last supply of ultra rubbing alcohol in the galaxy. This rare resource is made from macerated Uppies Rats and may finally remove the evidence of extremely poor decision making skills from Blumpkinian's back. Meanwhile, on the Crimosian homeworld, Dey Go Baaaaaaaaaa, the hero of the Rebels begins his training under Master Peepo, the oldest living master of the Modd order. What will happen next on... FART WARS

### Episode 9

It is a dark day. Grand Buttsmith Blumpkinian has stolen the Boozle, crippling the Goblin's GAMBA-based economy. In a moment of clarity, Three Thirteenio mutters sound tactical advice between rants about edging and other nonsens. Thus, the newly formed crack commando squad, BOD GANG, accepts their first mission: To steal back the Boozle. In the process they discover a Techsmithian secret so profound, it may change the galaxy forever. Tune in next week when the secret is revealed on: FART WARS

## Reviews

"KarnalSanders asked me "What is going to happen on the next episode of Fart Wars?". Ah, Fart Wars! A thrilling tale of intergalactic flatulence! Will our heroes triumph over their gassy adversaries? Will the Force be with them or against them? Tune in to find out, for the next episode promises to be a real stinker! BAT!" - AI Laszlo Cravensworth