Tulip

"Orphan hurts my heart." -Tulip 2016

Tulip, also known as the "Orphan Tulip," is a person that used to work at an Amazon ripoff store Cornerstore. It used to be a baby delivery service which was founded in the 1920s by a random guy, then completely overtaken by birds and made into an Amazon ripoff, and after her big adventure, reverted back to a baby delivery service. The birds in question are storks of course, because they're the legend here. She is the only ginger in existence with a soul, and is pretty much the "Princess Peach" of the George Washington Show.

She also thinks the internet likes this bastard (proof), which is false because everyone actually hates him.

## Origin

Ok so basically she was.... "born?" Is that the right word to use?

Well pretty much she came out of a baby making machine in around 1998 or something. She was the last one to be made for a long time, and that was because she never got delivered.

Now you see, this stork named Jasper was drunk on the day he was supposed to deliver her and he accidentally broke her beacon thingy that shows where her house is, so she was basically abandoned as a child and grew up in the stork company place, called Cornerstore.com. I have no idea why the .com was necessary, but whatever.

18 years after this, she had pursued engineering and had made a few things including a jetpack that was a piece of shit and failed. Another stork named Junior witnessed her almost die, and afterward she cried like a bitch. Junior was sent to fire her that day, and since it was her 18th birthday, Tulip assumed he was coming to wish her a happy birthday. I guess this ignorance moved Junior or something, because he didn't fire Tulip right then. Instead, he kicked her upstairs to the abandoned letter room that had been inactive for 18 years.

Later on, Tulip eventually got a letter from some dumbass asking if he could get a baby brother. Tulip took this letter to the abandoned baby factory, and before Junior could stop her, she put the letter into the machine and made a baby (I'll bet you didn't see that one coming). The only thing of note is that the machine made a girl and not a boy for some reason, and that Junior broke his wing bone, leaving him unable to fly.

With this, Tulip and Junior go on an adventure to deliver the baby to her family, and Tulip secretly hopes that this will let her find hers. They use a flying machine Tulip made to do this. On this adventure, a bunch of off-the-wall random shit happens that would likely only happen to most people if they were drunk or high. In addition, Tulip and Junior get into a ton of arguments, one of which gets them captured by wolves who want the baby as their own. They soon escape these wolves, which costs Tulip her flying machine, and end up on a riverbank. Here, Tulip reveals that she wanted to find her family, which is why she built the machine in the first place.

There, Junior asks why Tulip sacrificed her only chance at finding her family, and she says that she wanted to make sure the baby didn't end up in her own situation. Touched by this, Junior allows her to name the baby. Tulip gives the baby the name "Diamond Destiny," a very popular and common name for sure. Seems touching, right?

Well, the very same night, the baby wakes the two up and they have to put her back to sleep. The morning after this, the arguments start once again and the duo is given a chance to bond with the baby even further. Later, the two make it to a harbor in order to board a boat, so they can deliver the baby that way. However, they run into the wolves again, who surround them. Just in time, though, Jasper comes swooping in and saves them all from the wolves.

Pissed off instead of grateful, Tulip asks Jasper why he orphaned her years ago. He explains how it happened, and shows Tulip the pieces of the beacon he was able to recover. Tulip shows that she has the last piece, and gives it to him. The beacon starts working again, and..... you know what that means.

Tulip explodes with extreme joy, of course. What else would you expect from something like this?

Junior then suddenly decides to fire her, which completely kills any happiness she had and makes her cry. Typical teenage girls, am I right?

Anyways, Tulip gets brought to her family's house, but she shies out. She also remembers that Junior still had the baby, and gets spider-sense like mother instincts (my best possible description, so take it or leave it) and gets a taxi to a strange location.

There, she finds Junior tied up in a random building. It's revealed that the CEO of Cornerstore, Hunter, rerouted the baby's beacon and it led to this location. Also, Hunter stole the baby.

Of course, as I've established Tulip has a ridiculous amount of mother instincts, she freaks out and argues with Junior some more. She then orders a package from the Cornerstore website, and then the two get inside of it and mail themselves back to the company building.

There, a convention called Storkcon is going on, and it turns out that they're revealing a circular box. Yeah, because that's a genius idea.

Anyways, Junior and Tulip steal a costume of the circular box and use it to sneak up to the roof. There, penguins are preparing to take the baby away. A fight ensues, but it's a silent one because the baby was sleeping.

Eventually, Tulip and Junior rescue the baby, but on the convention floor, it wakes up and cries. Once the two are revealed, the storks chase after them. Hunter tries to get the baby back, threatening to fire Junior, but he just connects a pipe from the letter stockpile to the baby machine. This creates thousands of babies, predictably.

Hunter then snaps. He gets into a giant robot (*oh boy that doesn't sound familiar at all*), tries to destroy the baby factory, and kill all the babies. His plan backfires, and he falls to his death, but not without bringing Tulip, Junior, and Diamond Destiny with him.

None of them die, though. Miraculously, Tulip was able to control Junior's wing, allowing him to fly again. They then fly to safety. Tulip has a joyful outburst when they safely land. Typical teenage girls, am I righ-

Ahem, anyway, the two then see how many babies there are, and the storks all agree to help deliver them. They're all delivered to tons of different couples, including gay, lesbian, and biracial ones, because fuck it, we need those social brownie points and we'll stop at nothing to get them.

Shitty shoehorned-in politics aside, Diamond Destiny is delivered to her family, and Tulip finally meets hers, with them all hugging her and forming a heart shape with their red hair. Aww, how cute, all's well that ends well, I guess.

Except that's a lie. Literally a week later, Diamond Destiny's family, the Gardeners, got killed by Dr. Robotnik in a hit-and-run. Tulip took custody of her, and vowed to take care of her and protect her, yadda yadda yadda you get the point.

When she rescued Diamond from Robotnik on the scene, he threw a serum at her that made her stay age 18 forever. Robotnik laughed, but Tulip said she didn't care. Tulip then beat up Robotnik. Robotnik was then arrested, and was reported to tell the police "It's just a prank bro." He later escaped prison and still roams free to this very day.

Sir Shrek was at this scene, and after seeing this shit, he invited Tulip to join the Global Protection Agency, which she accepted.

Tulip then went on to get employed at the Meme City Casino, in addition to her work at the baby factory and her GPA work. She was later fired because she let George Washington and his friends get into the casino without paying like some little pussy biatch.

After this, she walked past George's house and was invited to his summer cookout, and accepted. They were then invited to a picnic in Meme City Central Park from Thanos posing as the park staff. She was then lured into the Cave of Eternal Peril (oh boy does that place sound like a great party spot) and into the hold of the mythical Black Rose (totally not related to the TF2 item), a horrific eldritch abomination with tentacles and a mouth for a face. It tied her up and hung her from the ceiling, where it proceeded to hold her there and torment her for the next few days.

Turns out, she got wrapped up (QUITE LITERALLY) into a plot by Thanos to destroy the world, and soon the whole universe. She was later rescued by George and friends, who killed Thanos for good along with other villains like Robotnik, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Andross, Wario, Bowser, and Psycrow.

After this, she was introduced to the other members of the agency, and became particularly close friends with Joy. She still works for the agency to this day and is one of its most prominent members. She often brings her baby to work, but not always as whenever it cries everyone wants to die because of how obnoxious it is.

She also happens to really like chocolate cake in particular, for some reason.

## Personality

Joyful, optimistic, friendly, fun-loving, thrill-seeking, adventurous, sweet, humble, caring, compassionate, emotional, motherly, intelligent, hard-working, selfless, a bit shy, and energetic.

## Appearance

Tulip is a tall 18-year-old girl. She has curly red hair tied back in a ponytail, green eyes, light skin, and freckles. She wears a brown Cornerstore jumpsuit with the sleeves rolled up, a brown belt, comically-oversized, light-tan boots, and a purple handkerchief tied around her neck. When she meets her family for real, she wears a white dress shirt with jeans, along with her handkerchief and boots. For some reason, she always wears the outfit she wore for most of the adventure (the Cornerstore jumpsuit), despite not really working there anymore since it went out of business.

## Likes

-basically everyone that's nice to her

-members of the GPA

-her family

-Diamond Destiny

-Junior

-Jasper

-babies

-chocolate cake