Bad Chair Day

**Bad Chair Day** is the 8th episode, in which the Guild investigate some dodgy furniture.

## Synopsis

When an evening at a tavern turns into a massacre, the Oxventure crew must solve the mystery of Port Fairwind's ferocious furnishings instead of finally and at long last enjoying a quiet hard-earned drink. No, it's fine.

## Summary

Two days after their previous adventure, Cthulhu, in gratitude for their service, collected the Guild aboard the Joyful Damnation and propelled them towards a place known as Port Fairwind. He also bestowed upon them a portion of the treasure that Dob had thrown into a lake. Upon their arrival, they found themselves at a tavern called the Gilded Chub. Surprisingly, Dob had already given ten percent of the treasure to a bird he had encountered.

Before long, Dob noticed that his chair seemed to be breathing. Notably, Merilwen also observed a similar phenomenon with Prudence's chair. Corazón, sensing the strange occurrence, decided that he hadn't consumed enough alcohol to deal with the situation, and thus headed to the bar for a drink. He inquired with the bartender about the chairs, and as soon as he received an answer, all chairs of the same make began attacking people. In response, Corazón promptly sought cover.

Merilwen cast Entangle, ensnaring the attacking chairs in place. However, one chair managed to escape. Dob attempted to subdue the escaping chair using a bedroll but found himself being flung around while still on the chair. Prudence's attempt to Eldritch Blast Dob's chair missed its mark. Just as the chaos escalated, Egbert returned from the restroom and utilized his Flame Breath to burn the chairs, with Dob narrowly avoiding the flames by leaping onto the tavern's chandelier.

As the skirmish concluded, the group realized that everyone else had fled and the tavern owner had been devoured by the bar flap. A woodsman arrived on the scene, vanquished the bar flap, and engaged in conversation with the Guild. He explained that the tavern had recently undergone redecoration, but the strange occurrences had only begun after the refurbishment. When asked about the redecoration, the woodsman admitted to being a regular patron but had no knowledge of the changes.

In the meantime, Dob explored the back room in search of clues and stumbled upon an invoice. Unfortunately, the ink faded from the page as he attempted to read it. Employing a bit of "detective work," Dob managed to decipher a message from the faded text, which read, "Collection: Docks. 3AM. Come alone. (Be prepared to make many trips.)" The Guild concluded that this indicated someone would be arriving at the docks that night.

Assisted by Corazón, Prudence made an insightful realization. She recognized that the chairs were crafted from the wood of a particular forest, a material considered unfit for furniture due to its malevolent essence. Corazón, upon learning this, resolved to put an end to the operation (and possibly pocket some ill-gotten gains).

With the assurance that no evil chairs remain, and after Corazón engages in some pilfering and drinking from the bar, the group heads to the docks. During the journey, Corazón, inebriated, amusingly proposes that he be transformed into a chair to infiltrate the culprits' operations. Dob skillfully employs his Disguise Kit to realize Corazón's unconventional request. The team leaves the disguised Corazón at the docks and takes cover, awaiting events to unfold.

As hours pass, Corazón gradually sobers up and comprehends the absurdity of the plan. Merilwen morphs into a cat and occupies the Corazón chair. Around half past twelve, a group of warehouse laborers begins stacking Port Fairwind furniture on the dock. A boat arrives and proceeds to load the furniture, along with the unsuspecting Corazón and Merilwen chairs. Dob belatedly comprehends that the note he read was an outdated invoice, as the tavern owner had already received the malevolent furniture. Consequently, Corazón and Merilwen's escapade seems futile, marked by their unintentional shipment.

Onboard the vessel, Corazón and Merilwen overhear a conversation amongst the crew regarding increased furniture exports from Port Fairwind. The surge is attributed to sluggish local sales, leading to suspicions of underhanded competition. The captain comments on the declining quality of their recent furniture, specifically noting Chairazón. Corazón's offense triggers an inadvertent noise, alerting the crew to his presence, which culminates in his ejection overboard due to the crew's belief that he's a cursed chair. Merilwen joins Corazón in the water, and they swim back to the shore. The crew's terror-induced recklessness leads to a collision, causing the cargo to be lost at sea.

Meanwhile, the remaining Guild members opt to investigate the warehouse for potential clues. Through reports, Dob discovers that the warehouse owner, Dunnican's Furniture, has been grappling with unexplained struggles. Dob informs Prudence and Egbert, expressing his concern that they may have inadvertently disrupted an innocent struggling business by causing the cargo to sink. Corazón and Merilwen eventually rejoin the group, prompting a decision to locate the individual responsible for distributing the furniture they accidentally sabotaged.

Dob orchestrates an ambush, detaining a man to inquire about furniture purchase locations. The man directs them to the furniture district. Arriving there, they awaken the shop's proprietor, Dunnican, who questions the motives behind their late-night furniture inquiry. They unveil their ruse of conducting a survey on the furniture business, hoping to gauge the state of his establishment. Following an extended period of hesitation by Merilwen in her feline form, they delve into the main discussion. Explaining the saga of the malevolent chairs, they inquire whether any recent actions have harmed his business. Despite Corazón and Egbert's intimidating approach, Dunnican describes his ailing business and conveys annoyance toward competitors selling the Port Fairwind style. He proudly identifies himself as an innovator within the town, attempting to introduce fresh ideas. Dunnican points to the Derosas as his rivals and welcomes the notion of the Guild dismantling their store as well. Before departing, Egbert offers Dunnican a suggestion to engage customers in self-assembled furniture projects with a weird Swedish name, sparking Dunnican's creative inspiration.

They proceed to the Derosa establishment. In conversation, the Gilded Chub incident is brought up, and Derosa disavows any involvement. While admitting that his own business has been facing challenges, he asserts that he remains financially stable. He theorizes that the influx of malevolent chairs has led to undercutting traditional Fairwind furniture sellers, like himself. Seeking assistance, Derosa requests their aid, with Dob swiftly agreeing to help free of charge. To aid in their investigation, Derosa advises posing as potential buyers, perhaps pub owners seeking new chairs. Egbert proposes taking over the Gilded Chub, now renamed the "Silvery Trout," given its owner's demise. Before leaving, Egbert suggests implementing a one-way system through the shop, ensuring customers become progressively entranced and incentivized to purchase, even offering them meatballs when hunger arises.

Prudence and Egbert distribute posters seeking new furniture. Dob and Merilwen work on tidying up the pub, and Corazón acquires a suit to resemble the former landlord. With the transformed "Silvery Trout" ready, they patiently await developments. During the night, a man in a trench coat enters the tavern. He offers to supply furniture and arranges a meeting at the warehouse at three in the morning. Though Dob says he will provide only half payment up front, he unexpectedly hands over all the money, irking Corazón. After a handshake and the passing of a note, Corazón, slowed by the weight of the funds, inadvertently leads the way to Warehouse 8.

Upon arrival, they survey the surroundings. Corazón identifies two patrolling guards, while Prudence detects a malevolent aura emanating from within the warehouse. Deciding to distract the warehouse staff, Corazón engages in the meeting while the rest of the Guild enters via a fire escape. As the guards succumb to Dob's Sleep spell, the noise draws the man's attention, affording Corazón the chance to incapacitate him with swift blows.

With all relevant individuals unconscious, Egbert announces his intention to destroy the chairs using a bomb, a plan met with resistance but ultimately unstoppable. Before Egbert can execute his plan, Dob hurls the guards into the sea, hoping the water will revive them. Prudence investigates the wood's origin, discovering its malevolent nature, derived from a wild, untamed source—a revelation connected to M. Channail's logging enterprise. The realization irks Corazón, lamenting M. Channail's influence even posthumously. As Egbert prepares to detonate the bomb, Merilwen transforms into a cat and leaps out the window, reappearing as a bear. Everyone narrowly escapes the explosion's impact, excluding Prudence, who remains unaffected due to her fire resistance. The chairs disintegrate, and the Guild's gold is inadvertently blown into the sea, much to Corazón's chagrin.

In the aftermath of the explosion, a man rushes to assess the warehouse's destruction, revealing himself to be Dunnican. Surprisingly, Dob apprehends him, preventing any escape attempts. Prudence, ablaze, interrogates him. Broken and defeated, Dunnican confesses to his plot—he aimed to associate the Port Fairwind style with death by creating malevolent chairs in that design. This scheme was devised to encourage people to purchase his alternative furniture, thereby enriching himself. Dob inquires about a potential association with M. Channail, a name Dunnican claims ignorance of. Frustrated and furious, Dob casts Dunnican into the sea, sparing him from Prudence's fiery grasp. Dunnican pledges never to repeat his actions, and the Guild celebrates their victory.

## Notable Events

* The Guild discover that the wood M. Channail was harvesting in Wild Wild Woods has be turned into the evil chairs.
* The Guild meet Dunnican for the first time

## Guild Hijinks

* Dob give ten percent of the Guild's money away to a pelican, because it had a big bill to pay.
* Corazon causes a boat to run aground.

## Behind The Scenes Trivia

* This is the first episode where Andy/Corazón does not introduce himself first.
* The title is a play on the phrase "bad hair day"
* Most of the adventure was wasted on an accidental red herring that Johnny didn't foresee.