Poops I'll Pick Up

"**Poops I'll Pick Up**" is a song from Episode One. After Owen finds out that Cole found Shampagne without telling anybody. Cole tries to convince Owen to let him keep the dog.

## Lyrics

* Episode Version
* Soundtrack Version

### Episode Version

**[Cole]**

I know it looks like dog-napping behavior
But trust me dad, I'm this furry guy's savior
Trapped up in the tower with only Bitsy to nuzzle
Shampagne is like a way better Rapunzel
And it’s not like I took him, if anything he took me
He took my breath away when he was taking a pee
**[Owen]**

Putting aside, this is probably against the law
That's just a tiny flaw
Son, you can't have a dog
**[Cole]**

Let me keep this dog and I will never not walk him
I know that's a double negative but I'm smart and
I'll take him to the veterinarian when he's ill
I'll get some peanut butter to help him swallow his pill
Right now, he’s a lapdog in the lap of luxury
But he shouldn’t be cooped up
He should be out there running free
Look at his eyes, can't you see that he’s sad, man?
I'll clean up his poops
You can call me Mr. Bag Hands
**[Owen]**

*Mr. Bag Hands?*
**[Cole]**

When he poops, I'll pick it up
**[Owen]**

You'll pick it up?
**[Cole]**

I'll pick it up
When he poops, I'll pick it up
**[Owen]**

No, you won't
**[Cole]**

I will, I love that dog
**[Owen]**

Son, we gotta think about the consequence
What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?
Can't keep this dog
**[Cole]**

Papa, I believe this puppy's heaven-sent
I promise to pick up his every excrement

### Soundtrack Version

**[Owen]**

*This is the dog, why do you have the dog? How long have you had him?*
**[Cole]**

*What time is it?*
**[Owen]**

*Around four?*
**[Cole]**

*Since yesterday*
**[Owen]**

*What?! We need to get this dog returned as quickly as possible so people stop tearing up my park.*
**[Cole]**

*Wait! Dad, can we sidebar? I have a totally unrelated question*
*You know how you've always said we should get a dog?*
**[Owen]**

*I've never said that in my life, Cole*
**[Cole]**

I know it looks like dog-napping behavior
But trust me dad, I'm this furry guy's savior
Trapped up in the tower with only Bitsy to nuzzle
Shampagne is like- a way better Rapunzel
And it’s not like I took him, if anything he took me
He took my breath away when he was taking a pee
**[Owen]**

Putting aside, this is probably against the law
That's just a tiny flaw
Son, you can't have a dog
**[Cole]**

Let me keep this dog and I will never not walk him
I know that's a double negative but I'm smart and
I'll take him to the veterinarian when he's ill
I'll get some peanut butter to help him swallow his pill
Right now, he’s a lapdog in the lap of luxury
But he shouldn’t be cooped up
He should be out there running free
Look at his eyes, can't you see that he’s sad, man?
I'll clean up his poops
You can call me Mr. Bag Hands
**[Owen]**

*Mr. Bag Hands?*
**[Cole]**

When he poops, I'll pick it up
**[Owen]**

You'll pick it up?
**[Cole]**

I’ll pick it up
When he poops, I'll pick it up
**[Owen]**

No, you won't
**[Cole]**

I will, I love that dog
**[Owen]**

Son, we gotta think about the consequence
What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?
Can't keep this dog
**[Cole]**

Papa, I believe this puppy's heaven-sent
I promise to pick up his every excrement
**[Owen]**

He has a home
We have to give him back
**[Cole]**

I'll take good care of him
**[Owen]**

We've been discussing that
We can't keep him
That's not part of the plan
**[Cole]**

We have to keep him
He makes me wanna be a better man
Please, Dad!
When he poops, I'll pick it up
**[Owen]**

*No*
**[Cole]**

I'll pick it up
When he poops, I'll pick it up
**[Owen]**

Not that it matters, but no, you won't
**[Cole]**

I love that dog
**[Owen]**

Son, we gotta think about the consequence
What if we are sent to doggy jail for this?
Can't keep this dog
**[Cole]**

Papa, I believe this puppy's heaven-sent
I promise to pick up his every excrement
*All right, so it's settled. We're keeping him*
*No, it seems like he's gonna be really great to have around*
**[Owen]**

*No*
**[Cole]**

*He's my best friend*
**[Owen]**

*Doesn't matter*
**[Cole]**

I love you, dad
**[Owen]**

*I love you too, Son*
*We're not keeping the dog*