Spice Coff

### Relatives

Harold Coff (Father), Jane Coff (Mother), Elisa Press (Aunt, Legal guardian), Nathan Press (Uncle, legal Guardian)

## Physical description

### Gender

Female

Spice is the daughter of Harold Coff and Jane Coff. Her parents disappeared into Locus when she was five years old leaving her in the care of her aunt Elisa Press and Elisa's husband Nathan Press.

Spice has never appeared on any of the blogs but has appeared in other stories.

## Appearance

Spice is a teenage girl with pale skin and slightly curly dark orange hair. She usually wears a white button up shirt with dark brown shorts.

## Personality

Spice is brash and impulsive. She claims to do everything in the name of science and gets angry when people don't cooperate with her. Her plans often fail due to her tendency to rush into things to get results as fast as possible. She will do basically anything for her own benefit and for the benefit of science and gleefully partakes in violence when she has the opportunity. However she does still have a (small but present) compassionate side.

Spice despises anything she views as childish. At the age of thirteen, she decided to leave behind anything that would distract her from her work and act like an adult while still only being a teenager. Spice's biggest fear is being useless and figures that anyone who isn't the same way is simply too stupid to realize how much of a burden on society they are. Pretty much the only hobbies she still has are unironically watching cringe comps and cinemasins.

Despite the fact that Harold and Jane would usually fall into Spice's "useless people" category, she still has an obsession with learning what actually happened to her parents. She says it's for the greater good of course and she doesn't have an emotional attachment since she barely even remembers them.

## Backstory

Harold and Jane weren't the most well off but they loved Spice very much and often went to festivals (Where Spice was almost trampled by a horse at four years old, at least that's how she remembers it.), generally Spice was a very normal kid who loved cats and pumpkin shaped candy.

One day when Spice was five years old, not long after Harold received a job at a game company in Utah, he and Jane left Spice with a babysitter, while they went on a park date and got lured into one of the AJHQ buildings. An hour turned into two hours which turned into five and late into the night Spice's teenage babysitter was freaking out and filing a police report and deciding this was the first and last time she'd ever babysit.

Harold's sister, Elisa, and her husband Nathan, came out to Utah from California to watch over Spice until things got sorted out, but as time it went on they became pretty convinced that if Harold and Jane were getting found, it was going to be in body bags.

Harold and Elisa's mother tragically died in a starbucks accident and their father, who was old when they were born, lived in a retirement home. Jane's parents are the kind of people who believe unicorns are evil and satanic and disowned Jane long ago, while they would've LOVED to take Spice, they're basically unreachable (y'know since the government's evil) and no one especially wants that to happen anyways.

So pretty much the only options were for Elisa and Nathan to take Spice permanently or let her go into the foster system and just wish her luck. Elisa and Nathan both have very well paying jobs and live in a great neighborhood in California with great schools it's just.. they really *really* didn't want kids. It was the kind of thing they agreed on when they first started dating and they'd been excited for many childfree years together. But dammit, they couldn't just abandon the poor kid. And so, Spice was officially adopted by the pair.

### With Elisa and Nathan

Elisa and Nathan had no idea how to care for a child emotionally, especially one who's parents had just up and disappeared, and usually just turned on the National Geographic channel and left her alone. Throughout her childhood they switched wildly between treating her like a small adult and like a child way younger than she actually was.

Nathan is a news anchor who's known for his own screen persona of being fun and positive even when describing a horrific murder and he absolutely hates it. He believes to keep the public informed is a serious affair and should be treated as such and there can't possibly be that many people who think otherwise. Nonetheless the network keeps telling him to be funny and cheerful and the public loves it and he has multiple online fanclubs and he'd quit on the spot if he didn't also love money. When Nathan gets home he is very sick of this bullshit and complains about it for hours daily with Elisa only egging on him because she also thinks it's bullshit. This made a huge impression on Spice who took this as Fun Bad.

While Elisa and Nathan try their best, Spice always felt pretty unwanted because well... she is. They love her and she loves them but if she could just grow up already that'd be great.

Spice's last just for fun interest before she decided to become a serious adult at thirteen years old was Undertale. Spice absolutely loved Undertale and was deeply entrenched in the fandom but did not hesitate to comment "Delete this, Sans would never act like this." on people's fanfics. This is actually how she first met Anna, although neither of them know it. Anna wrote the most inaccurate Underfell fanfics ever and Spice hated them and left the most nitpicky comments imaginable, to which Anna responded with "bro what" and wrote more and more out of spite. Keeping up with Anna's fanfics and pointing out all the problems was like the air Spice breathed until Anna eventually got bored of Undertale and Spice felt like there was no reason to stay in the fandom.

### Investigation into Locus

One night, Spice was having trouble sleeping and decided to Google about the town where her parents disappeared. That night she discovered Ron Ringer's website and became obsessed with the mystery of AJHQ. She initially contacted Ron with her story and how she was absolutely willing to help with any research he needed done. Ron said he'd keep an eye out for anything relating to her parents but strongly discouraged her from doing research of her own since she was just a kid.

Spice thought this was bullshit and if Ron wouldn't let her help then she'd uncover the mystery even faster than he could.

### Spice goes to Locus

At one point in her research Spice traveled to Wagstaff City to investigate rumors she'd heard online of a talking dog, possibly relating to the mystery. There she met Martha and attempted to drug her with a mixture of the juice and alphabet soup, but decided this was too far even for her and spilled the soup on her way there. When ants started investigating the spilled soup they became infected with Logo almost immediately due to their small size.

This got the attention of the Boss who brought both Spice and Martha to Locus to prevent them from using the juice on Earth. In Locus, Spice and Martha met Barold and Gordon, who took them back to the NGHQ building. There, Martha befriended an ancient god and investigated AJHQ before asking the god to take her back to Earth. Meanwhile Spice began living with the Geographics while she studied Locus.

One day in the Junkyard, Spice met Anna again and together they fought a monster which Spice gleefully dragged back towards NGHQ. Spice and Anna had more meetings after that and gradually became more fond of eachother.

## Stories featuring Spice Coff

**Hypothesis** Crossover with Martha Speaks

**Expedition** Sequel to Hypothesis

**Submerged** Sequel to Expedition (Unfinished)

**It's the Great Pumpkin You Fucking Bastard**

**In Pinkie's Basement**

### Further reading

**Slice of life** Misc facts about various characters (Unfinished)

## Gallery

The first drawing of SpiceYoung Spice with Harold and JaneOld Spice from a very dumbass AU (fallout 4 AU)