Total Drama: Worst of the Worst (Original)

Total Drama: Worst of the Worst is the unfinished ninth story in the main canon. This season revolves around twenty-two low-ranking contestants from seasons past competing for a shot at redemption.

#### Characters

Anders
Angelo
Blair
Brent
Cary
Dirk
Evan
Frederick
Grace
Hae Won
Holly
Isabella
Jerome
LeVar
Luke
Patsy
Quimberly
Ruth
Skylar
Tamira
Yuko
Zoe

### Chapters

#### Chapter 1 - Worst Waiting For

A familiar scenery appears on screen. The pine trees sway in the gentle breeze, as the clear waters reflect the green landscape. A doe and her fawn can be seen drinking from the lake, with no people to frighten them off. The untouched waters begin to ripple as an approaching boat begins to make waves.

A young man steps off of the boat, his presence not disturbing his peaceful surroundings. He nods his head in the direction of the boat, and the driver of the vehicle takes his cue, riding off. The sudden take off leaves the young man soaked from a large splash from the water. The guy rings out his bangs, and walks up the dock. He calls out, "Is anyone here?" His words are met by silence. Not even the nearby animals seem to take his presence as anything out of the ordinary. "I'm at the right place, aren't I?" The young man wonders, out loud. He shrugs his shoulders, and doesn't appear to be concerned about the lack of anyone else. Soon after he takes a seat on the side of the dock, and dips his feet in the water, another boat approaches the dock. He lifts his feet out of the water. "Oh... I forgot to take off my shoes." He shrugs his shoulders, not seeming particularly angry or disappointed by his now soggy shoes. The next individual steps off of the boat, a red haired woman, with a general look of discomfort about her. The nearby wildlife look up at her arrival, and hurriedly scurry away from the area.

The young woman looks at the guy and she seems to force a smile. She says, "My name is Blair. Nice to meet you. You must be the new host. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, or anything. I'm happy to have been invited to the show despite the title being..." Blair begins to reflect on her words, and stops herself short.

"Oh," the generally disinterested seeming guy responds. "I'm not the host." He pauses for a moment. "At least, I don't think I am." He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm fine with it, either way."

"So you must be the new..." Blair thinks of the possibilities. "Camera man?" The young man shakes his head. "Chef?" He shakes his head, again. "Intern?" Another negative response with the shake of the head. "Gardener?"

"Again," the young man replies, "I don't think so."

"But you can't be a contestant," the talkative young woman ponders. "I thought this season featured past contestants, and I'm sure I would have remembered you." She blinks, as she puts forth more thought. "Oh, I know. You must be Logan. It's nice to meet you."

"No," the man replies. "I'm, uh, Brent." Brent scratches his chin beard. "But I do have a cousin named Rogan, so you weren't that far off."

"Oh, yeah," Blair replies. "I vaguely remember you. Didn't you have a crush on pretty much all of your seasons other contestants, or something like that?"

Brent looks to the side and nonchalantly explains, "That was a bit of a misunderstanding."

"Well, it's good to meet you, nonetheless," Blair assures. She looks around the tranquil Camp Wawanakwa. "But if you're not the host of the season... Who in the world could it possibly..." Blair catches herself, and pauses. She restarts, "Then who is?" Brent shrugs his shoulders.

Brent begins, "Maybe we could..."

"I have an idea," Blair interrupts. "Maybe the host is waiting for us further up ahead. I'm sure if we were to explore the area, we'd find him." Brent looks at Blair for a moment, and then shrugs his shoulders. The unlikely pair begin to head toward the mainland. Once near the cabins, they begin to look in several directions. "Any sign of... anybody?" Brent shrugs and then shakes his head.

"Hey, people," a rough sounding voice calls from behind. Blair and Brent turn to look at their newly arrived competitor. He puts his massive arms around each of their shoulders. "What's going on?"

Blair thinks for a moment. "LeVar, right?"

"The one and only," LeVar responds. The cheeky young man eyes the lone present female. He lets out a masculine grunt. "How you doing, sweet thang?"

"Um," Blair replies. "Fine?"

"I'll say," LeVar replies, followed by a whistle. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure." LeVar lifts the curvy, red haired woman's hand and kisses the back of it. "It's an honor to meet you."

"Um..." Blair responds. "Thanks? I'm Blair, by the way."

LeVar stands up straight and smiles. He says, "Blair? It's my pleasure." LeVar looks to the side. "Blair... Why does that name sound so..." He looks back at Blair. "Oh, Zankoira. You're that really annoying chick from Boney Island?" LeVar takes a few steps back from Blair, and spits to the side. "I don't want to give you any mixed signals. You're definitely not my type. No offense." LeVar spits some more. "Ptooey! Blech!"

Blair fights back tears as she assures, "None taken."

"Yeah," LeVar goes on, looking around the familiar campground. "I've been doing my best to turn over a new leaf, without needlessly insulting people... Being a nicer guy takes a lot of work, though, but I feel better about myself." LeVar walks into a newly arrived contestant. He then proceeds to shove the smaller guy. "Out of my way, punk." The skinny young man falls with a thud. LeVar looks down, and his eyes become wide. "Holy cats..." He quickly helps the guy that he knocked down to his feet.

The fallen individual rubs his backside, and then adjusts his red baseball cap. "Hey, man. Way to get up close and personal."

"My apologies, dude," LeVar assures. "I'd never intentionally knock down a world famous sports icon."

"Others, not so much? Lucky I'm not an average Joe, huh?" the famed athlete asks.

"Uh, no," LeVar replies. "That's his job." LeVar points back at Brent. "I can't believe I'm meeting 'the' Evan."

The woman who needs no introduction approaches the forming group with her arms folded. She says, "I can't believe he chose to return, or that his mommy let him."

"This time I didn't need a parental signature," Evan assures. "Oh, hey... It's Quimberly..." Evan begins walking off. "Well, there's no chance of me winning, so I might as well go home." LeVar grabs Evan by the wrist, and prevents him from leaving.

"She kind of does raise a good point, though," Blair points out. "I mean, you're season didn't exactly end very well with you, with your being exposed as competing illegally, and Alexandria betraying you, not to mention that whole cancer reveal..." Evan begins to look sullen. "Er... I'll stop talking now."

"Thanks for doing the world a favor," LeVar states. Blair looks tearful, before running away with her hands covering her face. LeVar continues, "They definitely needed to see you, again, man." LeVar looks after Blair. "What's her problem?"

Evan rubs the back of his head. He looks after Blair and admits, "I dunno, bro. Anyways, I felt the need to see what I could really do, now that I'm competin' fair and square, and all." Evan's eyes get wide. "Here I've been goin' on and on, and we're in the presence of Quimberly." With open hands, the skater gestures at the purple haired wonder.

"I thought of interrupting your inane conversation, but I didn't." Quimberly shrugs. "I'm considerate like that," Quimberly admits.

"I feel like a better dude, already," Evan assures with a hand to his chest.

Quimberly looks up and down at LeVar. "You checking me out?" LeVar asks. He drops to one knee. "I'm not worthy of such an honor."

Quimberly rolls her eyes. She commands, "Stand up. I wasn't 'checking you out', I was simply acknowledging your unusual garb."

"I always knew my garb was pretty special," LeVar replies, his cheeks slightly red.

Evan lets out a laugh. He says, "She's talking about your outfit, bro."

"I knew that!" LeVar barks, his sincerity questionable. LeVar pauses. He rubs the back of his head. "Sorry for yelling."

Evan lets out another laugh. "Can you believe this guy?" The skater with many piercings asks, pointing at LeVar. "Dude, you crack me up. I like this dude." Evan points at LeVar with his thumb, while looking to Quimberly, who doesn't seem particularly interested in the news. LeVar looks down, kicks the ground, and tries not to let the smile on his face be entirely obvious.

"Uh, anyway, the outfit is just my way of saying that I don't care what people think of me, anymore," LeVar admits. "I love what I love, and it don't matter what anyone thinks... You know?"

Evan raises an arm in the air, drops his head down, and says, "Preach it, brother."

"Thanks, man," LeVar assures with a smile. "That means a lot."

Quimberly rolls her eyes, again. She states, "I thought you just said that it didn't matter what anyone thinks, and yet it means a lot that Evan agrees with you?" Evan and LeVar's eyes get wide, as they look at Quimberly. They then proceed to look over at each other.

"Hello, everyone!" A young woman excitedly says, as she approaches. "Are we ready to do our best, today?"

"Um," Evan replies. "Sure?"

"Evan!" the excitable girl responds. "It's me, Zoe!"

"Zoe?" Evan responds. "Oh... Hey. How've you been?"

"Just as peach-a-diddly as ever," Zoe replies. "That's all." She hugs her fellow Total Drama Athletics alumni.

LeVar bows his head and closes his eyes. Brent looks at him, and then whispers, "What are you doing?"

LeVar explains in a whisper, "Praying that I'm not on a team with her..."

Blair walks back to the gathering contestants. She says, "Hey, everyone."

"You okay?" Quimberly asks, despite not seeming particularly interested in Blair's welfare.

"You're so kind," Blair assures, clearly touched by Quimberly's words. "I realized that I was overreacting. I'm better, now."

A pretty, blonde, young woman approaches the group. She says, as she uses sign language, "Hi, everyone. It's me, Isabella. Are we ready to get this competition started?"

"Sure we are," Blair answers, excitedly. "It's good to meet you. My name is Blair, and that's Brent, Quimberly, LeVar, Evan, and Zoe. I'm sure there are more people on their way, but we aren't really sure where Chris is." Blair takes a breath, and then blushes. "Listen to me rambling on. You don't want to hear me talk so much."

"Oh," Isabella replies. "I can't hear you. I'm deaf."

"Lucky you," LeVar states. Blair's eyes well up, as she looks at LeVar. She flees the area, yet again, sobbing into her hands. "I wish I could find a shirt like that in my size... and preferably not in pink. It's awesome."

"Thanks," Isabella replies, as she signs, and blushes, slightly.

LeVar gets distracted, as he looks after Blair. "Seriously," the strong nerd says. "What's that girl's problem?" LeVar, as well as the other present contestants, looks over at the two people approaching them, one an incredibly tall, blond, young man, the other a woman with curly hair.

"Hello, everybody," the woman says. "I'll be serving as your host."

"You look different, somehow, Chris," LeVar says with a smirk.

"What's your claim to fame?" Zoe asks.

"Doesn't anyone recognize me?" the young woman asks. "I only made history on the first season of our humble, little Total Drama spin off series."

"Are you..." Brent begins. "I'm sorry. I've got nothing."

Evan pats Brent on the shoulder. He says, "That's not true, man. You've got..." Evan looks up and down at Brent. "I'm sorry. I've got nothing." Brent blinks. Evan lets out a laugh. "Sorry, man. I'm just jokin' around."

"Back to me, please?" the alleged host requests. "Does the name 'Esme' ring a bell?"

Isabella asks, while signing, "Uh, is that a manufacturer that makes bells, or something?"

"It must be the name of the Hunchback of Notre... Damp?" the tall, man suggests.

"No, no," Evan insists. "You're both wrong. It's that company that that coyote always orders from in order to try to catch that ostrich, or whatever."

"I was only the first contestant eliminated from Total Drama: Boney Island!" Esme shouts. She blushes and clears her throat, "Chris chose me to host this season, since I'm an icon among early eliminations."

"I remembered you all along," Quimberly states. "I was just testing you. You're that crazy chick that tried to get some guy's attention by pretending to drown."

Esme assures, "I'll have you know that I've totally mellowed out since then." Esme puts a hand to her heart. "I've learned that there's more to life than fawning over gorgeous guys."

"There is?" Evan asks, trying not to laugh.

Esme nods. She says, "Oh, yes. Definitely." She turns to the tall, blond guy and says, "Thanks for escorting me, Anders, you beautiful dreamboat, you."

"Dreamboat?" Zoe asks. "Anders? That's Anders?"

"Yeah," Anders replies with a nod, while the others stare at him in disbelief, the sudden attention causing the Swede to blush.

"I knew he was competing this season, from Nolan's slip up at the Best of the Best reunion, but I was not expecting him to look like that," Blair says as she walks up, her eyes now both wide and dry.

Anders puts a hand to the back of his head, and blushes. He admits, "I work out, a little."

"A little?" Evan reacts. "Dude, you're huger than a friggin' bison, dude."

"Well said," Quimberly states, with an eye roll.

Evan gets tearful. He asks, "You... you really think so?" He looks back at Anders. "I guess I would have bulked up, too, if I knew I'd be invited back to another season so far in advance." Evan lifts up an arm in an effort to flex his bicep.

"Oh, so this is where everybody is," a girl with part of her hair shaved, and the rest dyed each color of the rainbow says. She calls out behind her, "Yo, Cary! They're up here."

An energetic, tan man runs up, carrying a lot of luggage. He sets some of it next to the rainbow haired, young woman and says, "Here are your things, Miss Ruth."

"You didn't have to carry them," Ruth assures.

"It was no problem, at all," Cary insists. "In fact, it was my pleasure, ma'am."

"Aren't we the little ray of sunshine," LeVar says with a frown.

Cary lets out a laugh. He says, "Thanks, big guy... And, um, I didn't mean 'big' as an insult, or anything. You just have an impressively large frame. I mean, not, like, in a bad way. I meant in the best way possible. I wish I was half as muscular as you are. Yeah! Keep up the good work, buddy." Cary winks and points at LeVar. "Love the pointy ears, too. I can see those being all the rage in the fashion world. And by 'rage' I don't mean 'anger', or anything of negative connotations. Instead I mean, like, a 'craze'. Not a 'craze' as in an insane person, I mean like a major fad... Not that I'm making light of any mental disorder, or anything. I simply was searching for a suitable reference, with no particular individual in mind." Cary bites his lip, and looks to the side. The other present contestants stare at Cary with their eyes wide.

Ruth drags her bags a little ways. Zoe says, her voice showing audible concern, "Gosh. Those bags look heavy. What's in there?"

"Mostly art supplies," Ruth explains. "Some paint, canvases, molding clay, chisels, and some marble. You know, in case I have time to do some scuplting."

"Plenty of time at the loser resort," Quimberly assures.

Ruth blushes and laughs. "Oh, you."

"Brains, beauty, and a sense of humor?" Cary says. "You're a special girl." Cary frowns and looks around at the other present people. "Don't get me wrong. You're all special." Cary forces a wide smile. "Everyone's beautiful, in their own way."

"Is that guy alright?" LeVar asks Esme, pointing at Cary with his thumb.

"I'm not sure," Esme answers with a slight shrug. "But he's kind of cute, so... I mean, not that it matters. And... not that I noticed."

"Uh-huh," LeVar answers. "Can we move on to the next... Whoa." LeVar catches sight of a shirtless, young man with rippling muscles and curly hair. "I suddenly feel very... inadequate."

The guy with a sparkling smile walks past the other contestants, who all look at him with wide eyes. He breaks the awkward silence with, "Hello, everybody. My name is Angelo. It's a real honor to be invited back." Everyone continues to stare at him.

Ruth asks, "Hello, again, Angelo." Ruth pauses, and blushes. "If you don't mind my asking... What happened to your shirt?"

Angelo looks down. He says, "Oh, yeah. I must look pretty obnoxious, right now." The others shake their heads, profusely. "A funny thing happened on the way up here. Near the docks their was this pregnant raccoon giving birth to a litter of kits. I stopped to help on the way up, using my shirt to wrap up the little guys, even though stupid me only packed one shirt." Angelo puts a hand to his muscular chest. "It doesn't matter, though. My heart went out to them. It can't be easy for single parent families in this day and age... I could tell that the father was part of a tragic accident when I looked into the mother's eyes... Not to mention her being an orphan, herself." The other contestants stare at Angelo with tears in their eyes.

"His insides match his beautiful outsides," Zoe lets out, despite her emotion. She blows her nose on Ruth's vest.

Esme takes a few steps back. She pulls out a walkie talkie and says into it, "Operation Raccoon Birth was a success. I repeat, Operation Raccoon Birth was a success." She steps back toward the contestants, as they stare at her. "What?" the girly host asks, her eyes suspiciously shifting. "Oh, here comes the next contestant."

"How convenient," Evan states.

"Hi, everyone," the newly arrived female greets. The others stop glaring at Esme in order to glare at her. The young woman nervously looks to the side. She says, "Not this, again."

Cary begins, "We're not..." As he steps forward, he trips over his own feet, and lands on the ground.

Angelo assures, "It's not you, Miss..."

"Holly," the pretty, young woman introduces, she blushes, and then looks away from the handsome guy. Angelo looks down, and helps Cary to his feet.

"Sorry about that, buddy," Angelo assures.

Cary insists, "It wasn't your fault."

"I know," Angelo replies. "I'm just sorry it happened, you know?"

"Oh, my gosh," Blair lets out, putting her hand to her heart. "Angelo is amazing." She lets out a heavy sigh.

"Yeah," Zoe responds. "We're going to make such a perfect couple."

"Er," Angelo lets out.

Isabella says and signs, "Ladies, ladies. Leave Angelo alone."

"Thanks," Angelo says with a grateful smile.

"We all know that Angebella is the best couple name option, so Angelo and I are destined to be together," Isabella goes on.

"Nuh uh!" Blair, Esme, and Zoe say in unison.

"Uh huh," Isabella retorts.

"Angeloe is way better," Zoe insists.

Evan puts his arm around Angelo. He turns to Angelo and says, "I got this." Evan clears his throat. "Ladies. Angelo is just a regular guy like me or Car..." Evan pauses to look at Cary, widely grinning. "Brent... Me or Brent." Cary's smile doesn't fade. "You can't give him all this pressure all at once. He can't handle it."

"Besides," Angelo adds, "while all of you are perfect in your own ways. I'm just waiting for the perfect girl for me, that's all." The other female contestants glare at Quimberly.

Quimberly is busy looking at her fingernails. She looks up and asks, "What's everyone glaring at?"

Anders blinks, as he looks at the recently arrived female. He says, "Holly? Oh, jah! I remember you. You're that girl that was on my season that got eliminated for being related to..."

Holly shouts, "Kya!" as she lunges at the statuesque Swede. She grabs hold of his lips. The others fail to notice, as they continue staring at Angelo.

Angelo whispers to Evan, "Thanks for sticking up for me, man."

"No problem, bud," Evan assures. He puts his hand around Angelo. "We irresistable guys got to stick together. Help each other out..." Evan squeezes Angelo's arm. "Whoa... dude... your arms are like... made of stone, bro..." Evan starts poking Angelo with his finger. Angelo looks to the side, looking both embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Esme looks up. "Oh, look!" she says. "It's the next beefcake hottie... I mean... It's the next male contestant!" Esme sprays some breath freshening spray in her mouth. "Welcome to the show, Luke."

Evan looks over at Luke. Luke puts his things down and says, "Are you too busy gropin' that handsome fella to say hello to your old chum?" Evan lets go of Angelo, rushes over to Luke, and hugs him. "Haven't seen you in a coon's age. I'd have visited, but things have pretty busy on the farm. It's right good to see you, again."

"It's alright," Evan assures. "It's just good to see you, again, too. You're looking good, bro. Not as good as Angelo, of course, but good for you."

Luke lets out a hearty laugh. He pushes Evan back to get a better look at him. "And you..." the Southerner begins. "Well... you lost some weight? You'd have to stand up twice to cast a shadow." Evan lets out a laugh. "You have no idea what that means, do ya?" Evan shakes his head. Luke wraps his arm around Evan's neck and rubs his short hair with his fist. The guys laugh, again.

LeVar folds his arms, and frowns. The nerdy jock commands, "Hey, give Evan some space." LeVar folds his arms. "You're making him uncomfortable."

"Nah, it's all good, bro," Evan assures. Luke lets go of Evan, who rubs his neck. "You've got quite the grip, bro."

"Comes from milking old Bessie," Luke admits. He puts a hand to the back of his head. "She's one of the kin's dairy cows."

"No, need to explain, bro," Evan assures. He playfully punches the farm boy's arm. Luke responds by tackling Evan.

Brent whispers, "I think they know each other."

"How can you be so sure?" Anders asks.

"Just a hunch," Brent says, while shrugging his shoulders.

Anders gives a thumbs up and says, "You're a smart dude." Brent looks to the side, his expression unreadable. Anders shudders. "You're giving me the chills, dude."

Cary begins fiddling with his bag. He says in a comforting tone, "Don't worry, taller than the average buddy, in a way that makes you extra special." Cary nervously looks at Brent. "I'm not knocking your averageness. That's what makes you extra special." Cary turns back to Anders after pulling two needles and a ball of yarn out of his bag. "Aha! Time to knit my chilly buddy a sweater. No need to thank me." Cary sticks his tongue out of his mouth as he begins his daunting project. "Knit one, pearl two... Or is it pearl one, knit two." The others take a step away from the extremely enthusiastic contestant.

"Hi, everyone!" an elegantly dressed young lady says, as she approaches, pulling a luggage cart behind her, with luggage stacked in it. "I found this thing just lying around in hotel lobby. Nobody was around to claim ownership of it, so I'm putting it to good to use."

"Who's that?" Ruth asks, looking at the newly arrived female.

Esme looks at the female contestant in question, and then away from her. With lack of interest, the curly haired host quickly says, "I don't remember."

The contestant frowns, and raises her nose to the air. "Tamira. I wish I could say the pleasure was all mine."

"I think LeVar said that earlier," Brent says, scratching the back of his head.

Tamira steps forward. "I have more luggage on the..." The woman's fancy looking high heel gets caught on something on the ground. Her foot twists around, and she lets out a short, surprised scream as she falls forward.

"I've got her," two contestants say at the same time, though one's tone sounds annoyed, the other reassuring. Quimberly and Angelo look over at each other, each holding Tamira up by one of her arms.

"Can I stand, now?" Tamira asks, sounding slightly annoyed.

Ruth calls out, "Hold that pose!" Angelo, Quimberly, and Tamira look over at Ruth with concerned expressions as the aspiring artists takes out a sketchbook and a pencil as she sticks out her tongue, closes one eye, and begins drawing the scene. "This is perfect."

Looking back and forth at Quimberly and Angelo, Zoe lets out a romantic sigh, "In more ways than one."

"In more ways than one," a smart looking young woman with her light red hair in a ponytail chimes in, as she approaches the group. For added emphasis, she holds up her fingers.

"Hey, everyone," Esme introduces, "it's Patsy, or something or other." Esme shows little interest in the newly arrived contestant, as she peaks over Ruth's shoulder, curious about how her drawing of Angelo is turning out. "Be sure to highlight his perfect cheekbones." Ruth continues drawing. "Oh, that's perfect!"

"I'm sure you're all wondering how I figured out where you were located, and not at the traditional location, being the dock," Patsy assumes with a half smile.

"Not really," LeVar assures, as he polishes one of his prosthetic, pointy ears.

Zoe smiles, though her eyebrows arch, as she says, "It's okay. I'm sure we all figured it out the same..."

Patsy holds up one finger and forces an explanation on the others, "First, I noted that someone else should be here, due to the t-shirt that clothed several newly born raccoon babies."

"They're called kits," Angelo clarifies, maintaining his pose. "But 'cubs' is passable in most circles. But... I suppose 'babies' is also perfectly acceptable."

"Second, I deduced that the most recent and concentrated footsteps led to this location, and finally," Patsy says with special emphasis, though most of the others don't seem to be paying any attention to her, "I followed the camera man who told me where all of you were." Patsy produces a particularly proud smile, as most of the others look upon the famous novelist in disbelief.

Cary clasps his hands, together. He says, "Wow, that is uncanny! Nice detective work." Cary smiles, gives a thumbs up, and winks.

"Oh, yeah!" someone can be heard shouting from around the docks. The gathering contestants look toward the lake. "I'm ready for... Where is everybody? This isn't another prank all-stars invite from Chris, again, I hope... What, would this be the seventh time?" A loud, uncomfortable laugh can be heard. "That guy is such a kidder."

"Uh, should I go let whoever that is know we're up here?" Angelo asks, still entangled with Tamira and Quimberly.

"Don't move," Ruth insists. "I'm trying to get the shining beams of light just right."

The latest arrived contestant approaches the group, looking down at the ground. He mumbles to himself, "As clever as Chris is... this whole prank has made me a little nauseous. Now to find that outhouse before I..." The muscular guy looks up and sees the people already gathered staring at him.

"Um, welcome to the..." Esme begins.

"Oh, yeah!" the man with the glorious mullet shouts. "I'm ready for business! Just call me, The Dirk!"

"More like 'The Dork'," LeVar whispers in Anders direction. Anders responds with a laugh. Dirk doesn't seem to notice as he eyes up his male competitors.

"Uh, hey, 'The Dirk'?" Isabella greets, while signing.

Dirk looks to the side. He puts his hand up and says, "I don't talk to girls. And stop with the weird jazz hands. It's not attractive."

Isabella looks to the side, and signs and mumbles, "More like 'The Jerk'."

Dirk finishes looking at the other guys. He gives a satisifed nod. "Looks like I've got plenty of competition, but I'm ready to bring it." The masculine musclehead pounds his chest with his fists.

"By 'it' I hope he means the rest of his shirt," Evan whispers to Luke, as he points at Dirk's half shirt.

"What about him?" Luke asks, pointing at Angelo.

Evan looks at Angelo for a moment. "That's a different story." Luke nods in agreement.

Dirk's eyes rest back at Angelo. He looks to the side for a moment and notices Tamira. Dirk's expression becomes particularly angry looking. He shouts, "Hey! It's you!"

Tamira looks behind her, and then back at Dirk. "Me? I don't think we..."

"Silence!" Dirk shouts. "Don't act like you don't remember."

"I'm sorry, I..." Tamira begins.

"Let me ask you this," Dirk says with a smirk. "Hit anybody in the crotch with a watermelon, lately?"

Tamira's expression depicts her confusion. "Uh, I think you've got her confused with someone else," Blair suggests with a slight laugh. "I'm not sure if you remember me, probably not, since..."

Dirk angrily glares at Blair. "Nobody... laughs... at... The Dirk!"

Evan coughs into his arm and mumbles, "Tool!" before coughing, again. Some of the other guys laugh, as Blair looks particularly concerned.

Dirk smiles, points at Evan, and says, "Good one, man." The sexist jock lets out a laugh, while Evan raises an eyebrow while looking at him.

Esme looks to the side and sees the next contestant standing next to her. Esme announces, "People, the next contestant is here. Give Hae Won a warm welcome."

Dirk looks at Esme. He then leans toward Anders and asks, "Who's the bossy broad?" Anders looks at the other contestants, before stepping away from Dirk.

"This season's host," Cary answers wanting to be helpful, despite his look of concern.

"You're kidding me," Dirk lets out, looking shocked. "The season can't be hosted by a woman. It's unnatural! I mean, this is a reality show!"

Hae Won blows a bubble with the gum in her mouth. She points at Dirk while looking at Esme. "You want me to rough him up for ya?"

Esme shakes her head, and forces a smile. "Oh, right. You're the girl that sticks up for people through various forms of revenge... Uh... No, that's okay," Esme assures.

"You sure?" Hae Won asks. "I brought my pliers." The silver haired girl points at her duffel bag. Hae Won looks at Esme with a hopeful expression.

"No, really," Esme insists. "It's alright. He's handsome enough that I can deal with it." Hae Won raises an eyebrow.

Hae Won looks over her shoulder. She says, "That reminds me." The Asian avenger scans the contestants. "Good. Dante isn't here. Not that I wasn't prepared for him." Hae Won kicks her duffel bag, which makes an eerie sound upon impact. "He won't be here, will he?"

Esme assures, "I looked into it. He's not elligible to compete for a third time." Esme lets out a sad sigh as she looks to the side.

"I don't think he'd be interested in your feelings, from what I hear," Ruth says, not taking her eyes of off her drawing.

"Are you done, now?" Tamira asks, impatiently.

"Not yet," Ruth answers. "I just need to finish up the wings and fire breathing..." Angelo and Tamira look at Ruth with concerned expressions. Quimberly looks gerenally disinterested, though she maintains her pose.

A young man in a fancy grey suit, and matching top hat approaches the contestants. LeVar looks at the newly arrived guy and asks, "Did I just pass 'Go!', or something?"

"Nope," Esme answers. "At least... I don't think so... Anyway, this is Skylar."

The young man removes his hat and bows. He says, "It's an honor to meet all of your acquaintances."

"My acquaintance is here?" Zoe asks, looking behind her.

Skylar blinks. "Uh... Anyway... I'm excited to be here, again." The well dressed guy eyes the other contestants. He excitedly smiles and approaches Evan and Luke. He wraps his arms around the guys and assures, "It's so good to see you fellas, again."

"You, too, mate," Evan assures, with a raised eyebrow. He mouths at Luke, 'Who is this?'

'I don't know,' Luke mouths in reply.

Skylar looks up at the guys who force smiles, once he looks at them. "So how are you guys? How are you feeling?"

"Fine, yes'sum," Luke, assures.

"Me, too," Evan replies, "without the 'yes'sum'." Evan smiles and assures. "I'm one hundred percent cancer free."

"That's great news," Skylar says with a smile.

"Uh, thanks." Evan stares at Skylar. "Pal."

"I can't believe the Three Musketeers are together, again." Skylar blinks as Evan and Luke give him blank stares. Skylar's jaw drops open. "Wait a minute... You don't remember me, do you?"

Evan and Luke look at each other. "Sorry, man," Evan answers, honestly.

"We were on the same team," Skylar reminds. He smiles and puts his arms out.

Evan scratches his head. He says, "Bubba? You look a little different."

"The name is Skylar, guys. Esme said it when I arrived. C'mon... I was the guy who fell in the hole?"

"Ooooooooooooh!" Evan and Luke say in unison.

"Now I remember," Luke assures, with a wide grin. "We were on the same team?" Skylar frowns. "Uh... How've you been, fella?"

"Fall into any random holes, lately?" Evan asks, trying to think up something to say.

Skylar crosses his arms and looks to the side. He says, "I'm not feeling it, anymore."

"Aw, c'mon," Evan says with a laugh. "We were just pullin' your leg. Of course we remember you, Skylar."

"You do?" Skylar asks, unfolding his arms. Evan gives a reassuring nod.

"We do?" Luke asks. Evan responds by elbowing Luke in the stomach. The strong, farm boy looks at the skater with a confused look. Evan rubs his elbow as he winces.

Skylar smiles, again. "Aw, you guys!" Skylar hugs the other guys from Total Drama Athletics.

"Oh, the next contestant is coming up," Esme says, sounding somewhat excited. She lets out a sigh, "Another girl... Oh, well..."

"Thanks for the warm intro," the latest contestant to arrive says. "I'm Grace, all."

"Nice to meet you," Holly says with a smile. Grace lets out a bloodcurdling scream. Holly's eyes get wide. "Uh, what's wrong?" Holly looks around. "Is somebody on fire? It's okay, people. I know CPR!"

Grace asks, "Huh? No. I just love your scarf! Where did you get it?"

"Oh, that," Holly replies. She looks down at her striped scarf. "Uh, I picked it up in Paris, I think."

Grace lets out a sigh. "I cannot believe this heat." The Total Drama: Boney Island veteran dramatically puts her hand to her forehead. "However will I survive?"

"Yikes," LeVar mutters. "What a drama queen."

Grace looks toward LeVar. She points at him and says, "Watch it, squirt. You do not want to get on my bad side."

"It can't be much worse than this," LeVar replies, rolling his eyes and settling them on the side.

Grace taunts, "Listen, nerd. I know you think you're hot stuff..."

"It's true," LeVar responds, flexing a bicep before kissing it. Grace looks annoyed by the interruption. "I'm all muscle."

Grace rolls her eyes. "Including your brain."

"Yeah, I..." LeVar thinks. "Hey!"

"I like this girl," Isabella says and signs, with a smile.

Dirk folds his arms, and says, "How sexist. It's disgusting." Dirk receives several blank stares.

"Hey, man," a newly arrived snazzily dressed, dark skinned guy says as he approaches with a particularly handsome, blond guy. "It looks like this is the place."

The blond shakes his bangs and replies, "I think you're right... bud." The blond smiles and says, "Jerome and I met on the dock... How is everyone else doing? It's good to see everyone."

"It's good to see you, too!" Cary excitedly says. Cary puts a hand to his chest. "I feel like I've made a friend for life. Uh, who are you? If you don't mind my asking?"

"Uh huh," the ascot wearer replies, sounding somewhat bewildered. "Anyway... I'm... uh... Frederick Flanderbilt." Skylar looks around. He locates a water bottle next to one of the other contestant's belongings, picks it up, drinks from it, and then spits out the contents. "That's... really... charming."

"Thanks," Skylar says with a smile. "I've been practicing my spit take for the sideshow. I think it's getting pretty spectacular, myself... Not that I'm one to brag."

"Nor do you have reason to," LeVar adds. Skylar glares at him. LeVar's eyes get wide, as he stares off into the distance. "Man... This whole being nice thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"They just don't hand out class," Jerome assures.

"Now, Jerome is recognizable," Blair admits, "but Frederick..."

"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" Esme asks. "When I changed the cast around, I decided he was more camera ready, now."

Frederick lets out a laugh, and blushes, slightly. "What happened to him?" Hae Won asks with wide eyes. "If I passed him on the street I wouldn't recognize him."

"If I passed him on the street, I'd stop and stare," Isabella admits, as she signs. Hae Won looks over at the deaf girl.

Dirk rolls his eyes and says, "Women and their hormones. Besides, it's 'past' in that context." Dirk gets several confused looks.

Frederick scratches the back of his head. He explains, "I had a little... work done. I know it's a shock to most people, but I've made my share of mistakes... One day I realized I wanted a fresh start... I needed to start over."

"That's pretty drastic," Patsy observes. "Do you mind if I base a character on you? You know... again?"

"What's that?" Frederick asks.

"Nothing," Patsy quickly answers.

"Anyway," Frederick goes on. He lets out a sigh. "I realize it was pretty drastic, but that's how I was feeling about myself at the time." Cary looks at Frederick, tearfully.

Jerome looks around. He says, "So, yeah. So what I've been up to is..."

"Oh, dude," Skylar says to Frederick. "Where... did... you get that ascot? I'm totes jelly..."

"Uh," Frederick responds, looking down at his ascot. "This old thing?" Skylar nods. "I had it custom made from the finest materials available on Earth. Nothing too special." Skylar freezes in place, his mouth wide open, again.

"You look good, Frederick," Zoe assures. "You, too, Jerome." Jerome looks up and smiles.

"Thanks," Jerome replies. "I'm sure I'm not the only one here hoping for a little redemption."

"Boy, I'll say," Luke assures.

"I heard that," LeVar states, looking to the side.

"Me, too," Isabella says and signs. "Well, not literally."

"Yup," Hae Won joins in.

"Redemption would be nice," Angelo assures.

Ruth interjects, "Sh!" The rainbow haired artist continues drawing.

Anders nods and says, "What everyone else said."

"I think we can all pretty much agree that we want to do better than last time," Quimberly assures.

"Wow," Blair says. "It's like she reached down into my soul and expressed my feelings perfectly." The others look toward Quimberly and nod.

"Is this everyone?" Frederick asks.

"We're waiting on one more contestant," Esme explains, standing on the balls of her feet to peer toward the dock.

"The more the merrier," Cary says, seemingly trying to stretch his smile to new limits.

"That's what I always say," Zoe says.

"Oh, fun!" Cary replies. He and Zoe hold both hands and smile at each other.

"I'm here," a nonchalant voice pipes up. Esme leaps in the air, looking at the short Asian. "Calm down. I'm nothing to get worked up over."

"This is Yuko, everyone," Esme introduces. "Our final contestant. When did you get here, Yuko?"

"Oh, I've been here all along," Yuko explains. "But this isn't about me. Let's get on with the festivities."

"Ooh, we're having a party?" Anders asks. "Everybody loves a good party."

Esme nods. "The games can begin... on the next totally all-new, totally exciting, Total... Drama:... Worst of the Worst!"

"Aw, man," Grace dramatically complains. "I want things to start, now! How am I suppose to manage until another episode? I'm... absolutely... going to die!" Grace collapses.

Esme looks back. She then leans toward the camera, and quietly says, "We'll see you next time." Esme looks back at Grace. "She is alright, isn't she?"

"I would give her mouth to mouth, but I'm a happily dating man," Anders explains. Esme looks to the side in a disappointed manner.

"And if she's not alright, I couldn't care less," LeVar states with his arms folded.

"You said it, man!" Dirk shouts.

Grace sits up, and squints her eyes. "I've got my eye on the both of you."

Quimberly puts her fingers over the bridge of her nose. She says, "Is it too late to back out of this?"

"Don't do it!" the others all shout in unison.

"I wasn't being serious," Quimberly insists, sounding annoyed. The others give relieved sighs.

#### Chapter 2 - Drowning Around

The womanly host with curly hair, held up in pigtails, pats one of said pigtails while looking unprepared to start filming. She looks up at the camera with her eyes wide. She asks, "Am I on?" The camera responds with a nod. "Hi, I'm Esme. The new, totes qualified, beautiful host of Total... Drama... What was the name of the season again?" Esme looks off camera to presumably read a cue card held up for her. "Worst of the Worst! On our last episode, eleven ultra-hotties stepped onto the island to compete for the title of best of the worst of the worst!" Esme looks off camera. "Oh... and there were eleven others, too, I guess. Today, we're going to figure out who is on a team together, where they'll be living, and finally, we'll see what the first challenge is! It's all going to be super fun! So I hope you stay tuned to watch what will happen."

Esme is shown with the twenty-two contestants gathered around her. She announces, "Listen up, everybody! You'll all be competing for the chance to win one million dollars!"

"One million?" LeVar asks, with a raised eyebrow. "Isn't that a bit of a downgrade from the last couple of seasons?"

Esme bends down and picks up a piece of paper. "Wait a minute. Chris left a note dealing with this particular subject." The new host looks at the note. "Let's see... It says, 'What? Do you think I'm going to waste money on the winner of a 'worst of the worst' season?"

"That makes me feel all warm and tingly on the inside," Hae Won says, her sarcasm obvious in her tone.

Cary clasps his hands together. "You, too?" Hae Won stares at the energetic, tan guy, and slowly steps away from him.

LeVar folds his arms and says, "Yeah, well some of us can hardly be considered the 'worst'."

"How about 'winning impaired'?" Esme suggests. "Is that better?"

"No," LeVar states, now looking to the side.

Grace rolls her eyes and says, "Get over it, nerd boy."

"What did you call me?"

"Nerd boy," Grace repeats. "I'd think with those stupid, pointy ears of yours, you could hear anything."

"These ears, I'll have you know, are based on Mr. Schlock, superior mind of the Velcro race," LeVar clarifies.

"Well, they look great, buddy," Cary assures, with two thumbs up.

LeVar smiles, slightly, and replies, "Thanks. These things don't come in chocolate, so I had to paint them myself."

Cary nods and smiles, trying his best to still look interested. He assures, "Nice job, buddy. I'm super proud of you." LeVar looks at Cary with a confused expression.

"So are we standing here for a reason?" Quimberly asks.

"Like, who are the teams, and junk?" Evan asks.

"Good question, Evan!" the flirtatious host lets out. "Thanks for that!" Evan looks generally confused. "To answer Evan's amazing question, the teams will be... boys versus girls!"

Dirk throws up his arms and shouts, "Yes!"

Esme goes on, "The guys team will be called the Testoster-pwns!" The host ends there.

"Testoster-pwns?" Frederick asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't like it," Anders assures.

"Hey," Evan says. "It beats 'Team Sausage Fest'."

"That's true," Frederick responds, scratching the back of his head. "I guess it could be worse."

Anders nods and says, "I think I like it better, now."

"And?" Tamira asks. "What about the girls team?"

"What about them?" Esme asks, tilting her head to the side.

"What are we going to be called?" Patsy asks, holding out a notepad, while waiting for a response.

Esme responds, "Oh... that... Um... You get the privilege of naming your own team!"

"I'm guessing she didn't bother thinking of a name for us," Ruth mentions.

"So what should we call our team?" Holly asks.

Blair suggests, "How about 'The Young Woman Who Are Entirely Adept at Giving Their Male Competitors a Run for Their Money in the Competition'?"

"Or 'The YWWAEAGTMCRTMC' for short?" Quimberly asks. Blair rapidly nods her head. Quimberly looks at the talkative red head with a confused look, for a moment, before quickly dismissing the notion. Blair's expression of hope changes to one of despair.

Ruth thinks for a moment. She says, "We need a name to counter balance that 'Testoster-pwn' name. How about... The Estro-generation?"

"I like it," Isabella says and signs. Some of the others nod.

"I could think of worse ideas," Quimberly says with a shrug. Most of the other contestants look confused. She then adds, "Not actually, though." The others nod.

"What do you think about it, Yuko?" Holly asks.

Yuko answers, "I suppose it's fine, but my opinion doesn't matter. Just treat me like I'm not here."

"But you are here," Cary insists. "And you're special."

Grace pushes Cary over to the other guys. "You can go back to your side, now."

"Great idea," Cary replies.

"You can keep him," Jerome assures.

Cary laughs and says, "Such a kidder."

Jerome raises one of his well groomed eyebrows and says, "Who said I was kidding?"

Dirk folds his hefty arms and says, "I'd even take one of the... females... over this guy..."

Angelo puts an arm around Cary and says, "Don't listen to them, man. We're happy to have you on our team."

Cary hugs Angelo tight. He lets go and says, "Thanks for your kind words, but what they said didn't bother me. Clearly, their words reveal that they, like everyone, have problems they need to deal with in their own lives. They just feel the need to take out their aggression on somebody, and I'm honored that they chose me. As long as they're not expressing their inner frustrations in a more harmful way."

Angelo looks confused. He assures, "Well... you certainly have an interesting perspective on things, man." Angelo lets out a laugh. "I think your positivity is a great example for everybody." Dirk looks away and rolls his eyes.

"So where can we bring our things?" Grace asks. "I can't handle the stress of not knowing!"

"Looks like the bleach has gotten to her brain," LeVar whispers to Anders, who produces a laugh.

"I'll have you know that this is a weave," Grace defensively says.

"Nice comeback," Quimberly says while staring to the side.

Grace tearfully puts a hand to her heart and says, "Thank you... That means so much coming from you!"

Esme says, "Back to your question, I should let you know that each team will be enjoying their own island!"

"That sounds pretty cool," Isabella says while signing.

"I'd have to agree there," Skylar states while shifting his monocle.

"The guys will be staying on this island," Esme explains. "While the ladies will be staying on the beautiful, rustic, Boney Island!"

"What?" Grace shouts, keeping her mouth dropped open after her exclamation. "You can't be serious? That's not fair. This place is, like, civilized compared to Boney Island." Most of the girls share frightened looks.

Dirk smirks, folds his arms, and insists, "That sounds perfectly fair to me. Almost too fair."

"I'll have to disagree with my... charming teammate," Frederick speaks up, looking at Dirk.

"You're a traitor to men, everywhere," Dirk states, looking to the side after folding his arms.

Frederick goes on, "From what I've learned about Boney Island from my various sources that my vast wealth has opened up to me, it's no place for a lady."

"Listen to that guy," Tamira insists.

"I'd even go as far to propose that you decide to allow the male contestants to stay there, instead," Frederick suggests.

"Dude, you cannot be serious about that," Jerome protests. "I've been there. I know how awful it is. You can't imagine the unspeakable horrors... The general lack of moisture... the fact that there are barely any reflective services... not to mention the various, hard to get out stains that could happen to our garments at any given moment!"

"Yeah, I have to agree with Jerome, here," Skylar agrees with Jerome. "Well, not with all that frou frou stuff, even though I'm totally cool with that aspect of his personality, but I mean..." Skylar begins to nervously bite his fingernails. "There's no telling the kinds of pits that are on that island, just waiting for someone to fall into them!" Luke frowns as he places a hand on his friend's back, in the hopes of comforting him.

Esme looks at Frederick. She shakes her head and says, "No, no. That's no good. It's all been decided, and everything. Here. Look at this scrap of paper that I wrote the idea down on when I though of it." Esme holds out the described piece of paper.

Holly takes the scrap of paper from the host. Missy's sister acknowledges, "It does look official."

Esme smiles and nods. "I guess we have no choice," Hae Won admits, with a shoulder shrug. She looks toward Frederick and says, "Thanks for at least trying to do us a solid."

"A what?" Frederick asks with a confused expression.

"Just one moment," Anders declares. He pulls a book from his pants pocket, and begins referring to its pages. "I have a slang decoding dictionary for such situations."

Eva puts a hand over his face. He explains, "She meant that she was thanking him for trying to do the women a favor... at our expense." Evan glares at Frederick.

"And they say chivalry is dead," Zoe states with her hand over her heart.

Patsy's eyes get wide. "I just thought of a great title for my next novel." Patsy crouches forward in order to write something on a page from her notepad.

Esme begins pushing the ladies toward a waiting boat. "Well, it was nice catching up with you. I'll totes see you girls, later!" Esme turns toward the male contestants.

"But what about our..." Blair begins, looking over at their belongings.

Esme turns back around and barks, "You're still here?"

After the female contestants leave on the Boat of Losers to Boney Island, Esme puts her hands together and says, "Okay! Now the real games can begin!"

"Games?" Anders asks. "I like Parchisi!"

"I prefer Backgammon," Cary admits. He pauses to look at Anders. "But... Uh... If you like Parchisi best, then that's my favorite, too."

Esme frowns and shakes her head. She says, "What I meant was, I usually like to get to know my contestants."

"You've had other contestants?" LeVar asks with a raised eyebrow.

Evan laughs and points at him and says, "You've got that Schlock eyebrow thing down, bro."

Esme frowns, again. "I was hoping to get to know each of you on an individual level, see which of us are the most compatible."

"Engaged," Anders explains. Brent shrugs at the statement, his meaning hard to determine.

Dirk laughs and says, "Like I'd date a girl." The others look at him with wide eyes.

"I'm pretty beat," Luke admits, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You're not my type," LeVar replies, looking generally disinterested as he looks at his fingernails.

"You didn't see that girl from Garglon 5?" Evan asks, pointing behind himself.

LeVar's eyes get wide. He says, "You're kidding!" LeVar looks around. Evan laughs. LeVar glares at the skater. "You're kidding... I'll have you know that we are not alone. I read it in the latest issue of 'Alien Sightings for the Highly Gullible'."

Esme rubs her forehead. She says, "Fine. Anyone interested in getting to know me better can stay here. The rest of you can get ready for bed, don't mind the cameras in peculiar locations." All but one contestant leaves. Esme puts her hands together. "Oh my gosh! I knew you were the one for me."

Cary smiles wide and says, "I've had my heart broken before, but you seem like a special lady. I'm always open to new opportunities to start new relationships." Cary stops talking and stares at Esme, still with a large smile.

Esme sighs. She turns around and says, "I'll be in my trailer." Esme begins walking. She pauses to look back at the smiling, positive guy. Esme turns back around and breaks into a full sprint.

At Boney Island, the women are shown getting off of their boat. Zoe smiles, as she looks around their surroundings. "This isn't so bad! We're going to do great out here. Now who wants to do some jumping jacks?" Zoe starts doing jumping jacks by herself.

A fish jumps out of the water, and a woolly beaver runs onto the beach, leaps above the water and consumes the fish. A large bird, that resembles a hybrid of a goose and a pterodactyl, swoops down and latches onto the woolly beaver. The beaver proves too heavy for the bird and both animals sink into the strangely murky waters. Grace dramatically utters, "We're going to die out here!"

"Relax," Holly says with a smile. "You forget that we have something the guys don't."

"Intuition?" Isabella suggests.

"Womanly features?" Zoe asks, with a concerned expression.

"Fashion sense?" Grace suggests. The resident drama queen looks at Ruth. "Well, most of us, anyway."

"No," Holly states. "We've got..."

"Spunk?" Isabella suggests.

"We're done with that," Holly responds.

"So we have?" Patsy asks, pressing her pen against the notebook.

Holly points in Quimberly's direction. "Her."

The next morning, the guys are shown exiting their cabin. Anders frowns as he has a hand to his presumably sore back. Frederick limps out from the door. Jerome has a hair out of place. Esme gets up from her blanket and pillow in front of the guy's cabin. "Hey, guys! Did you sleep well?"

Frederick cracks his neck, looking slightly annoyed. He forces a smile and says, "It was fine. Not what I'm accustomed to, but... It was fine."

"Fine?" LeVar asks. "The air conditioner is busted."

"It is?" Esme asks.

"It won't go any lower than seventy five degrees," LeVar explains. "I was sweating through my matress."

"Dude, you didn't even mention how crowded it was," Evan reminds. "I had Dirk's foot lodged in my shoulder the whole night." Evan rubs his shoulder. "At least, I hope that was his foot." Evan gets several disturbed looks.

"Well, I'm... sorry to hear all that," Esme assures. The hostess puts a hand to her heart. "If any of you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here."

"Nah, I'll get over it," Evan insists.

LeVar laughs and says, "Yeah, Evan is right. We're just being a bunch of babies. Some incredibly good looking babies."

Evan laughs and nods. "You got it, bro."

"The girls will be here for the challenge, shortly," Esme explains. "I should tell you that it's a swimming challenge, so get in your swimsuits." The guys nod, and head back into their cabin.

LeVar is the first to emerge from the cabin wearing a pink, plaid Speedo. Esme takes out a camera and takes a picture of the muscular guy. LeVar mutters, "Give me that!" LeVar grabs the camera and tosses it as far as he can manage.

"My camera!" Esme shouts. The slightly unprofessional host runs in the direction of the camera. LeVar folds his arms and looks after Esme in a satisfied manner. LeVar hears some noise from behind the cabin. He says to himself, "What's that?" before tip toeing in order to investigate. He comes across the individual grunting, and jumping in the air, trying to do a simple twist of his skateboard. The skateboard falls upside down, and Evan falls on his knee. LeVar lets out, "Uh, dude, are you okay... or something?" LeVar steps forward.

Evan looks up at LeVar, cracks a smile, and says, "You saw that, huh?" LeVar nods, looking to the side. "So, yeah... After the treatment, my skateboarding has kind of become a disaster... Sorry you had to see that." Evan eyes LeVar. "But I saw your swimsuit, so... I'd say we're about even." LeVar lets out a laugh, as he helps Evan to his feet.

LeVar explains, "My stepdad Brody picked it out for me. Uh, aren't you gonna get changed?"

"I'm just wearing my swimsuit under my clothes," Evan responds, as he attempts another jump, failing as the board falls wheel side up, again. Evan wipes his sweaty brow.

"Take it easy, man," LeVar suggests. "We don't want our star player to be worn out for the first challenge."

Evan looks down and laughs. He looks up at LeVar. "Star player? I haven't been able to land this move in months, as easy as it is. I thought that after the chemo, I could go back to how everything was..." Evan holds his head up. "Never mind. I'd prefer to dwell on something else."

Luke walks up in his tightly fitting cut off jean shorts. He says, "Hey, fellas. I'm just here to let ya'll know that the other guys are all ready up front." He looks at Evan. "What happened to you? You're sweatin' more than a fat boy on his first date."

"Uh," Evan begins.

LeVar answers, "Evan was just... stepping out of the sauna on the side of the cabin." Evan looks at LeVar with a confused look.

"Sauna?" Luke asks. He stands on his toes in an effort to see the immediate area better. "I'm not seeing no sauna."

"That's because..." LeVar begins. "A stampede of bears trampled it right after he got out... then everything got swept away by a freak monsoon... that only happened in this immediate vicinity."

Luke blinks, clearly in disbelief. He asks Evan, "Is that true, buddy?"

Evan looks at Levar, and then back at Luke. "Uh... What's with the shorts, bro? Tryin' to challenge the PG rating?"

Luke looks down at his tight shorts, and blushes. "They ain't as bad as all that, are they?" Luke looks back at up. "Wait? What were we talking about?" LeVar and Evan give each other thumbs ups. Luke looks generally confused.

Several hours later, the guys are still standing, waiting for the female contestants to arrive. "Are they going to be here, anytime soon?" Jerome asks.

"I'm starting to feel kind of uncomfortable," Angelo admits, as several present individuals stare at him. "I hope nothing bad happened to the ladies out on Boney Island." Lightning strikes in the background, seemingly in response to the island's name. Angelo looks around at the clear sky.

Dirk throws his arms in the air and says, "I for one certainly hope so!"

Cary, who is standing next to Dirk, gags. He says, "Thanks, buddy, for giving me a whiff of your pits."

Dirk keeps his arms in the air. He takes a deep breath. "Yeah. Gotta love that natural scent. Smells like man." Cary gags, again.

Frederick folds his arms. "Seriously, when is our competition due to arrive. I for one am tired of waiting here for nothing."

Skylar lifts his sleeve in order to scratch his arm. He assures, "It's alright, man. There's nothing to worry about. They'll be here, soon enough."

"Save it, hippie," Frederick responds, sounding incredibly annoyed.

"Whoa, dude," Jerome responds. "I know it can be tough being nice, but that was uncalled for. I think you owe Skylar an apology." Frederick folds his arms and looks to the side, remaining silent.

Skylar blinks. "What's a hippie?"

"Uh, everybody?" Brent pipes up. "The girls are on their way."

Angelo looks over. He says, "Oh, yeah. Here they come." The others look at the approaching boat.

"Angelo is right," Anders declares.

"Good eye, Angelo," Cary compliments.

Esme looks at the approaching boat with a confused expression, before looking to the side abruptly. "Okay, so they figured how to operate the boat without a driver, or an engine. But how did they avoid all the underwater mine thingies?" The present guys look at the host with wide eyes. She looks back at them. Esme blows a kiss at the worried looking males.

The girls step off of the boat and move up the dock and follow after Quimberly, most of them wearing mud as war paint. "It's good to see you ladies, again," Frederick expresses with a warm smile. He furrows his brow. "Uh. What's with the war paint?"

Grace holds a hand to the air. "The island was formidable, but it did not break our spirit. We discovered a bond of womanhood, and are now stronger than ever."

"Huh," Evan lets out. "All that from Boney Island?" The women nod and shout in unison 'Sisterhood!' Evan whistles and says, "Okay." He looks at Tamira. "Where's your warpaint?"

"You do realize it's mud, right?" Tamira asks. "You can't seriously expect me to put mud on my person." Tamira laughs. "Unless it's green and prepackaged, of course."

"A woman after my own heart," Jerome says with a smile. Tamira smiles back, merely to be polite.

"So now that they're here, can we get to our challenge?" Brent asks. He kicks the ground. "You know... If you don't have anything better to do?"

"I don't know," Isabella says, while signing. "I think we still need to stand here and grunt. You know. To prove a point."

Angelo rubs the back of his head. "I don't know. I think it's a good idea, since we've been waiting for a little while."

"I think that's a great idea, Angelo," Isabella excitedly says with a sigh, while signing. Isabella's face turns a little red. Grace and Hae Won look at Isabella, and then at each other.

"I do, too," Esme admits. She says, "Alright, people. Our first challenge is based on a classic challenge from seasons past." Esme pats one of her pigtails and closes her eyes. "I might even go as far as to say that I was the star of said challenge." Esme clasps her hands together and leaps. She says, "That's right! It's going to be a daring rescue of your teammates, like when Levi so gallantly saved my life."

"If I remember correctly, like I know I do," Yuko begins. "Wasn't it Lisa that rescued you?"

Dirk points at Yuko. "You uttered the name of she who must not be mentioned. You're going to pay!"

Yuko is shown in confessional. "I know Dirk's type. Yeah..." The observant girl smirks. "I have nothing to worry about."

Back at the challenge explanation, Esme snaps her fingers. "Assistant! Your assistance, please!" A tall and lanky man walks forward in nothing but a small swimsuit and a snorkel.

"Is that Zane?" Blair asks with wide eyes. "It's good to see you again, Zane! How long has it been? I don't think I've seen you since our reunion show, which is a shame. I'd really prefer to keep in touch... Zane?"

Zane lifts his snorkel and says, "Sh! I'm not supposed to talk to you guys while I'm working..." Zane looks at Esme, who looks back at him in a fairly disapproving manner. "Dang it!" He puts his snorkel back on.

"Assistant? If you will," Esme cues. Zane nods. He walks over to the water and swims out at a fairly slow pace. Esme looks back at the contestants. "This is going to take a while."

Ruth eyes the male contestants. "You know, Ive noticed a common thread between the male contestants."

"What's that?" Frederick asks, with a smile. "I'm all ears."

"Well, I don't know," Ruth says. "You're all pretty handsome, in a traditional sense, anyway."

"What I found odd," Patsy admits, holding up a pencil, "was the exclusion of Logan, Toby, or even that Herman kid. They all deserved another shot. At least, that's what I thought."

"Logan?" Esme asks. "He sounds vaguely familiar. Oh, right. He was on the original cast for the season, along with the other guys you mentioned."

"So?" Jerome asks. "What happened to them?"

Esme says, "Oh, that. I felt that the cast wasn't diverse enough."

"Wasn't diverse enough?" Ruth asks. "I'm looking over at the present guys and I'm seeing nothing but handsome, like I said."

"Why, you're too kind," Jerome says, while blushing. Frederick looks at Jerome, and then turns to Grace, who is looking at him. He then proceeds to twirl his finger near his ear, the official signal for craziness. Grace lets out a laugh.

Esme explains, "Uh, yeah, diversity." She points at LeVar's abs. "Six pack." She points to Angelo. "Eight pack." Esme now points at Jerome. "Ten pack." She next points at Luke, and pauses to count. Luke looks down and blushes, kicking at the dirt. "If you count the scar, eighteen pack. See? Diversity!"

"Uh, yeah," Zane can be heard calling out. "I think I felt a freshwater shark nibbling on my leg, so if we could get this little dramatization over with?"

"Oh, yeah," Esme says. "I forgot about you. Must be your complete lack of abs."

"Hey!" Zane shouts.

"What?" Esme calls back out. "It's not my fault you're, like, the one skinny guy in the world without abs." Esme seems annoyed, as she looks to the side. She looks back to the contestants, and giggles sweetly. "Anyway, onto the challenge. Each team will have six contestants swim out and float in the water." Esme hands six floatation devices to the members of the Testoster-pwns. She turns to the female contestants. "Sorry, there was only enouh for one team. Back to the challenge. So the other five teammates will need to swim out and rescue one of their comrades, one at a time. The first team to rescue all six team members will win the challenge. Any questions?"

"Yeah," Zane calls out. "Remind me why I had to swim out here?"

"Wait..." Tamira begins. "Is this based on that time you pretended to drown so that Indian guy would try to rescue you?" Tamira lets out a laugh.

Esme ignores the questions and says, "So if everyone's ready, we can get started." The contestants respond by discussing which of the contestants will fill what role.

Dirk puts his arm around Angelo and Evan. The mulleted sexist says, "No matter who we put out there, we're going to win. But I say we save our A team for the rescuing. That would be me, obviously, Angelo, Anders, Evan, and Luke. Okay, let's get this onslaught over with."

LeVar looks at Evan. He speaks up, "Uh, I think someone else should swim instead of Evan."

"Why?" Cary asks. "Wait. Scratch that. I don't mean to pry."

LeVar nods and says, "Good."

Dirk directs, "Then we'll have LeVar be the last rescuer."

"Wait, what?" LeVar asks.

"It's either you or Evan," Dirk explains. "We can't leave this up to Mr. Plastic," Dirk says while pointing at Frederick, "manorexia," Dirk points next to Cary, Cary frowns, "the circus freak," Dirk points at Skylar, "girly boy," Dirk next points at Jerome, "or... whoever that guy is." Dirk finishes by pointing at Brent. LeVar blinks.

Angelo says, "Dirk, no need for insults." Dirk rolls his eyes and looks to the side.

Evan assures, "It's alright, LeVar. I'll, uh, I'll be fine." Some of the others look at Evan.

"I've got this," LeVar assures, pushing Evan back.

The contestants get back to Esme. Dirk explains, "We decided to have our strongest players swim, and really cream these... cream puffs."

"Next time, at least make your insults a little less redundant, ya hear?" Luke suggests.

"We decided that just by having Quimberly in the most valuable position we can't fail," Holly explains.

"I like your logic," Dirk admits. "Even if you are girls... But... we're still gonna cream you!"

Esme instructs, "Okay, everyone, get into position." The contestants in charge of being victims swim out. After everyone gets into position, the host shouts, "Go!" Quimberly is the first out for the female contestants, shortly followed by Angelo. Quimberly speedily reaches Yuko, and also returns her to shore quickly. Angelo brings Cary back to shore fairly quickly.

Cary commends, "Good job, Angelo! You're an amazing guy... Though, only marginally more amazing than the other guys on our team."

"Thanks, man," Angelo assures. "It means a lot coming from you." Cary's face turns red, as he smiles.

"Uh," Cary replies. "No need to thank me."

Quimberly prepares to run back into the water. Esme shouts, "Wait, wait! You can't swim out two times in a row. I said it in the rules, ya know."

"No, you didn't," Quimberly responds with her arms folded.

"She's right," Yuko agrees.

"Well, I meant to," Esme goes on.

"Whatever," Quimberly responds.

Angelo instructs, "Anders, you go, next."

Anders face turns red. "I don't know how to swim very good."

LeVar's eyes get wide. "You could have mentioned that, before!"

"Sorry," Anders responds, putting his hands up. "I didn't want to disappoint anyone."

"Whatever," LeVar states. "Just go on." LeVar pushes Anders toward the water. Anders reluctantly walks into the water. He continues to walk out to Jerome, not ever needing to swim, the deep water still not even reaching the tall guy's chest. He pulls Jerome back to shore.

After time ellapses, Angelo is shown returning to shore, bringing back Brent. He says, "Okay, LeVar you're last up." LeVar nods and runs back to the water. The big guy lets out a sigh. He reluctantly jumps into the water, landing on his stomach, as he winces in pain. He sinks into the water and floats back up, again. He then proceeds to doggie paddle toward Frederick. Quimberly is shown bringing Patsy back to shore, as Zoe runs over to the water.

Dirk puts a hand to his face, after observing LeVar's swimming style. "You've got to be kidding me."

LeVar reaches Frederick and says, "C'mon, blondie. Time to go back to shore." LeVar grasps Frederick's innertube. Frederick grabs LeVar's arm. "What is it?" Frederick points at a hole in the floatation device. LeVar's eyes widen as the strong, rich guy grabs hold of him, panicking. As he waves his arms and legs about, Frederick manages to hit LeVar in the face. "Hey! Watch it!" Frederick then proceeds to knee LeVar in the stomach. The dark skinned guy winces in pain. Both guys then sink beneath the water.

After some time, LeVar and Frederick open their eyes to see Angelo above them. The perfect, Italian guy smiles and hugs the guys. "I'm so glad you two are okay!"

"Angelo perfectly executed the kiss of life, and everything," Skylar explains. "You guys owe him your lives."

"You mean his lips were on our lips?" LeVar asks with wide eyes. Skylar shrugs and nods. LeVar and Frederick look at each other with wide eyes. "Enough about that... What about the challenge? Did we win?" LeVar looks over at Esme who is crying into her hands, then at the celebrating Estro-generation.

"I'm guessing we lost," Frederick states, with a roll of his eyes.

Esme sniffles as she approaches the guys. "I'm sorry to say that you lost the challenge. You'll need to vote someone out at tonight's elimination ceremony." Esme walks off, as she returns to crying into her hands. "Why?!"

"So... we have to vote somebody out," Angelo begins. "This is a place that none of us wanted to be, again, but we have no choice."

"I guess our decision is pretty obvious," Dirk says with a shrug of his large shoulders. "One of us really failed the team." LeVar holds his head down.

The others start to walk away. "Wait, guys," Evan says. "Don't take this one out on LeVar, alright?"

"Why shouldn't we?" Jerome asks, with one of his neatly plucked eyebrows raised up.

"He only agreed to do the challenge so I wouldn't have to," Evan explains. "Ever since my chemo, I haven't been physically the same. LeVar knew that and wanted to keep me from looking like the weak link."

"Evan..." LeVar quietly lets out.

"It's okay, man," Evan assures, placing a tattooed hand on the bigger guy. "You stuck your neck out for me, now it's my turn."

"Well, I guess we have a decision to make," Angelo admits. "This won't be easy. That's for sure." Most of the guys begin to walk away.

LeVar looks at Evan. He states, "I appreciate the gesture, man, but you don't need to put yourself in jeopardy just for me."

Evan shrugs his shoulders. "What's done is done, bro. It's all good."

The members of the Testoster-pwns are shown at the campfire ceremony. Esme is shown wearing all black, as she bows her head. "Welcome to the first elimination ceremony. One of you will be greatly missed. The rest of you will remain to bring joy to the lives of our viewers." The guys look at each other with confused looks. "On with the ceremony. The first safe contestant is Angelo." Angelo catches the first marshmallow, complete with a kiss mark from Esme's lipstick. Angelo looks at the marshmallow with a raised eyebrow. "The next safe contestants are Jerome, Luke, Skylar, Anders, Brent, Frederick, Cary, and... Dirk." Esme tosses marshmallows to the announced contestants. "That leaves Evan and LeVar." The hostess sniffs. "The last marshmallow goes to..."

"LeVar."

LeVar sadly looks over at Evan. Evan nods. He says, "Yeah. No big surprise, there. I'm sorry for holdin' you guys back. The truth just is that I'm not the athlete I once was. I couldn't provide anything for this team..."

"That's not true, pal," Luke assures.

LeVar nods. "Luke's right. I don't know about the other guys, but without you we're really going to lack the morale we need to start winning challenges."

"That's nice of you to say," Evan assures.

"It's true," LeVar insists. "And besides all that... I think you helped me grow a little."

"You look the same height to me," Evan says with a smirk.

"You know what I mean," LeVar barks. "Thanks for sticking up for me, by the way... and... you're going to get better." Evan looks down and nods.

Evan stands. "Well, I gotta go. See you chaps, later, but until then, let's hug it out." Skylar, Luke, and LeVar hug their friend. Cary also joins the hug, followed by Esme. After the hug, Evan picks up his bag and heads to the Boat of Losers, waving to his former team members.

Esme says, "I don't know how I can go on without Evan here."

Angelo assures, "The grieving process may vary in length and intensity, but you'll have my support to get through it."

Esme looks at Angelo. "What was I talking about, again?" Angelo blinks in response. The host turns to the camera. "Thanks for watching another episode. We'll see you next time on Total Drama: Worst of the Worst!"

Dirk is shown in confessional. He says, "Evan seemed like a nice enough guy, I guess, but that's not important. What we need on this team is muscle, and, unfortunately, he's not as strong as he once was." Dirk puts his arms in the air. "Now that our team is stronger, we're going to take those girls down, one by one! The other guys agreed that we needed to keep our team strong." Dirk puts his arms back down. "I, uh... Guess that's all I wanted to say." The jock proceeds to leave the confessional, bumping into the door on the way out.

#### Chapter 3 - Treading Watermelon

Esme, this season's host, is shown in front of the camera. She produces a smile and says, "I appreciate your tuning in. In case you forgot what happened on our previous episode, the challengers competed in a challenge inspired by yours truly."

"Yeah, you and you're psychotic attempt to get rescued by your dream boy toy," Zane, an assistant for the season as well as a previous contestant, says, as he walks by carrying a box.

"Don't you have someplace to be?" Esme barks.

Zane explains, "You wanted me to deliver this dubious box to you. What's in here, anyway?" Zane produces a laugh and half smile, as he half-seriously guesses, "Copies of footage of the dudes for your own selfish purposes, or something?"

"Go deliver that box to the other side of the island," Esme demands.

"No way, I was..." Zane says with wide eyes. "Wait. The other side of the island? But I just..." Esme says nothing, but points in the direction she decided on. Zane holds his head down. "I can't believe that I actually miss Chris." Zane drags his feet as he walks off.

Esme looks after Zane. Once he's out of earshot, the hostess says, "I'll pick that box up, later. Esme looks back at the screen, and smiles, again. "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, the contestants competed in a daring rescue challenge. The guys proved valiant in their efforts, but I guess I'd have to admit that the Estro-generation did alright, I suppose. The guys lost the challenge, and due to his commendable attempt to try to keep LeVar in the competition, Evan was sent home." Esme gets a little choked up. She bites her fist. "Too soon." Esme breaks into a full sob. "Cut... cut to the show."

LeVar is shown in confessional with his hands behind his head. "I'm gonna miss Evan. He was a dude among dudes. But he taught me what it was to be a better guy. Yeah. I'm completely changed for the better. Nothing to it, really."

Anders is shown walking near LeVar, before accidentally bumping into him. LeVar shouts, "Watch it, punk!" LeVar pauses for a moment and adds, "Please?"

Anders drops to his knees as he bows down to the science fiction fanboy. "Please, forgive me."

"Uh, it's alright, I guess," LeVar replies. "Just don't let it happen, again... If you don't mind, or whatever."

"I am not worthy of your forgiveness," Anders goes on. LeVar looks down at the tall Swede. LeVar notices some of the other guys and joins in on their conversation as they head back to their shared cabin.

Luke insists, "Golly, I'm glad to still be here, but Evan's like a busted boomerang."

"Huh?" Skylar asks.

Luke blushes. The former Southerner explains, "His kind don't come around often."

The optimistic Cary loudly laughs and says, "Oh. That's clever."

Luke blushes, more, and assures. "It's not like I came up with it, or nothin'. My great great grand pappy used to go around sayin' that."

"Great great grand pappy?" Cary repeats. "That is rich! You Americans and your crazy, nonsense words!" Luke and the others look at Cary with confused looks. Anders looks up, and runs to catch up with the other guys.

Blair is shown in the Boney Island confessional, which is little more than some rocks piled onto each other, with a camera presumably placed to capture the contestants' intimate confessions. "After the challenge, we were forced to come back to Boney Island. I have to admit that it hasn't been as bad as I remember it, but maybe my memories have been dramatized, a little. Er..." Blair's cheeks turn red, slightly. "I hope I wasn't talking too much. If so, I apologize. I was hoping to talk in confessional to spare the other girls from hearing my voice..." Blair forces a smile. "I need to let my feelings out some place, though..."

The members of Estro-generation are shown hiking toward their shelter. "Why is the shelter so far, again?" Grace asks with a dramatic sigh.

Ruth has her head down as she draws and walks at the same time. "Viking oceanauts riding an underwater rainbow."

Grace raises an eyebrow and says, "Uh, okay. That was random. But it doesn't answer my question."

Quimberly answers, "With the unpredictable weather and wave patterns, we want to be as far away from the water, as possible, for our own safety, as well as that of our shelter."

"Oh," Grace replies. "You're so smart, Quimberly. We wouldn't stand a chance out here without your presence."

Yuko reminds, "She did explain that to us when we built our shelter."

"Before correcting our work," Holly recalls, with a finger to her chin.

Hae Won admits, "Yeah, Quimberly is pretty amazing." Hae Won looks over at Ruth. She puts her arms around Ruth's shoulders, and looks at her drawing. "What are you drawing? Viking oceanauts riding a rainbow under the sea?"

"Uh, yeah," Ruth replies. "I explained that to everyone when Grace asked, earlier."

Hae Won blinks and replies, "Um, okay."

"I'm starving," Isabella admits, while signing what she's saying, as well.

"Maybe Quimberly can catch another woolly beaver, like she did, earlier," Zoe suggests. "I for one believe in her."

Holly looks to the side. She says, "Oh, look at that. What kind of berries are those?"

Tamira replies, "I don't know. Let me scan my encyclopedic knowledge of berries... Nope. Nothing."

Holly replies, "No reason to get catty..." Holly eats a handful of berries. "These are good." Some of the other girls gather around the bush, and pick some of the purple berries.

Quimberly warns, "I wouldn't eat those if I were you."

"Why not?" Isabella asks, and signs.

"Do I really need to explain?" Quimberly replies with a raised eybrow.

Patsy scans the area. She says, "Quimberly is right."

"Big shocker," Quimberly replies with her arms folded.

Patsy goes on to explain, "First, notice the footprints leading up to the bush."

"Those are woolly beaver tracks," Yuko assures. She gets a few confused looks. "What? I can't be observant about wildlife, too? But... enough about me."

Patsy continues, placing a hand on her glasses, "Notice where the tracks lead, as well as that disconcerting odor."

"Ack," Grace blurts out. "What is that?"

Patsy smirks and pushes the berry bush to the side. The female contestants gasp at the sight of a woolly beaver carcass with a purple stain around its mouth from the berries. Holly's wide eyes get tearful. "Am I going to die?"

"Uh," Patsy replies with a blink.

"No," Quimberly answers. "These berries have a different effect on humans."

"Oh, good," Holly says, letting out a relieved sigh.

"But I wouldn't exactly call the effect desirable," Quimberly insists. Quimberly walks ahead of the others.

Holly runs ahead, trying to catch up to the purple haired girl. "Wait, what does that mean? What effects? WHy won't you answer me?!"

Zoe looks toward Patsy. "Nice detective work. That was really impressive."

"I know," Patsy replies with a smile. "I've been working on my detective skills as research for my next series of novels."

Isabella nods, signs, and says, "It was just nice to have some evidence to what Quimberly was saying... Not that blind faith isn't enough."

"It isn't blind faith, when she's proven right all the time," Ruth assures.

Isabella nods, again. "I guess that's true."

Blair is shown biting her lip. She says, "I don't know if you guys noticed, or not, but I haven't said a thing this entire conversation."

"Until now," Tamira points out with a raised eyebrow.

"D'oh!" Blair shouts, as she winces.

The next morning, Total Drama Island is highlighted. Frederick is shown sitting on a lounge chair outside of the cabin, not looking entirely amused as he keeps his head propped up with his hand. Cary steps out of the cabin in his swimwear. He smiles at seeing the wealthy young man, and says, "Hey. How are you doing, buddy?" The generally smiley guy, pauses after thinking for a moment. "Not that I'm trying to overstep my bounds, or anything..."

"Was there a question somewhere in there?" Frederick asks, still not looking amused.

Cary thinks back. "I don't remember... Oh, yeah. How are you?"

"Bored."

"Oh, if you want something to do, me and some of the other guys are going for a swim," Cary explains. "It sounds like a lot of fun, without the pretend drowning. You're more than welcome to..."

"I'll pass," Frederick answers.

"Oh," Cary responds, seeming taken aback, slightly. "Well... I guess it's not for everybody. And I suppose you did suffer a somewhat traumatic experience with the challenge... I'm sorry for not considering your feelings before asking." Frederick keeps looking to the side, still not seeming particularly interested in Cary. "Uh, well... I'm going to go. I'll see you, later." Cary walks off. He pauses to look back at Frederick, before looking ahead, again, and moving forward.

Cary gets to the water, a smile still plastered on his face. Angelo calls out, "Come on in, Cary! The water is a comfortable sixty degrees!"

Skylar leans toward Brent and asks, "How does he know these things?"

Brent replies, "Im not really sure. I'm assuming it's because..."

Skylar looks at Brent. "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were somebody else." Skylar turns to Luke and splashes him. "Luke, wake up!"

"Oh," Brent responds. "No worries."

Luke responds with one eye wider than the other, "I reckon I am awake."

"Then answer me when I'm talking to you," Skylar demands.

"I would be much obliged, if you ever said anything interesting," Luke responds with a smirk.

"Oh, ha ha!" Skylar sarcastically responds. He then runs at Luke and jumps at the farm boy. "Kamikaze!"

Luke catches Skylar midair, grasping his modest bathing suit, and slams him into the water. "Nice try. The old timey swimsuit doesn't do much for stealth."

Anders laughs. He says, "I dig those kooky colloquialisms."

"Huh?" Luke asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess he confused what you said for an established expression," Brent says with a shrug.

Luke scratches the back of his head. He asks, "I don't think so."

"I think Brent is right," Angelo says with a laugh.

Luke laughs. "If you say so, chum, I believe it."

Brent looks down and over to the side. Angelo looks at the average guy, and frowns. He wades over to Brent and says, "Hey, Brent. How's it going?" Brent shrugs. "You know... Even though we were both on Total Drama Reality, and we're on the same team, now, I can't say I know a whole lot about you."

"There's not much to tell," Brent admits.

Angelo laughs. Brent looks at him. "Oh... You're serious. Um... There must be something you like doing. You're pretty good at swimming."

"I'm average at best."

"Uh," Angelo replies. "Not to get too personal, but do you have a job?" Brent nods. "Doing what?"

"I work in an office," Brent responds.

Angelo smiles and assures, "That sounds interesting."

Brent shrugs his shoulders. "It's just an average job." Brent runs his hand along the top of the water. "What do you do?"

"I'm still in school," Angelo explains. "I couldn't decide on which career I'd prefer, so I'm studying to be a doctor and a lawyer." Brent looks at Angelo with wide eyes. "Uh, but you don't want to hear about me." Brent looks to the side.

"Hey, guys," Skylar calls out. "We're going to swim out deeper if you want to join us."

Cary excitedly says, "That's an awesome idea! Thanks for thinking of it!"

Angelo looks to Brent. "Care to join them?"

Brent shrugs. "I'm generally indifferent." Angelo laughs. He grabs Brent by the arm and says, "Come on." He pulls Brent along to the deeper water.

Cary calls out, "Come on, Anders! The water is splendiferific out here."

Skylar stifles a laugh. "Splenderific? You're such a dork." Skylar splashes Cary. "But we love ya, anyway." Cary laughs.

Anders looks out at the guys further out in the water. "I'm not a very strong swimmer."

"Dude, just walk out here like you did at the challenge," Skylar insists. Luke keeps his nose underwater for a moment, floating next to Skylar. He raises his head from the water, covers one nostril and sprays Skylar with water from his other nostril. "Dude! That's sick!" Skylar pauses. "Let me try!"

Anders looks out, and winces. "Uh, that's okay." He looks up at the group of guys up at the cabin. "I'm going to see what Frederick and the other guys are up to." Anders turns and heads back up to shore.

"Suit yourself, bud," Luke calls out. Skylar deviously emerges from the water, covers one nostril, and starts violently coughing. Luke looks at Skylar with wide eyes. "You okay, mate?"

"Yeah," Skylar replies between coughs. "I'm..." Skylar coughs. "Fine..." Luke stares at Skylar with wide eyes.

Anders reaches Frederick, Jerome, and LeVar right outside their cabin. "Hello, guys."

"Hey," LeVar replies. He stifles a laugh.

Anders begins, "What're you guys..." Jerome places a finger over Anders lips. Anders looks confused.

Dirk emerges from the cabin, looking half awake. He sees the other guys, smiles, and puts his arms in the air. "Hey, guys! Are we ready to..." Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the mullet sporting jock trips over a wire and lands hard on his face. Jerome and Frederick burst out laughing. LeVar covers his mouth, attempting not to laugh.

Anders looks at the other guys with a concerned look. He looks back at Dirk, "Are you alright?"

Dirk holds up a thumb and groggily says, "Good one, guys. You got me, but good." Dirk lets out a weak laugh.

Jerome slaps anders chest. "See, man? He's alright." Anders smiles, and lets out a small laugh. Jerome slaps Anders on the back. "Now you're catching on, big guy. See? It's funny." Anders nods.

Esme walks up. She says, "Hey, fellas. How are my favorite guys doing?"

"We're doing fine," LeVar replies with a smile.

"No, I meant Angelo and the others," Esme explains. "Oh, there they are!" Esme stands on her toes as she looks out at the water. LeVar folds his arms and looks to the side.

"Are you here for a particular reason," Jerome asks, "or just here to make us feel bad?"

"Oh, the challenge is about to start," Esme explains. The members of Estro-generation arrive in a boat led by Quimberly.

Jerome squeals, "She's here!"

LeVar smirks and brags, "This is the second season I got to be on with her." Jerome folds his arms and looks to the side.

Frederick stands up and smiles. He sasy, "Welcome to our humble home, ladies. I hope Boney Island is treating you well."

"Lies!" Holly shouts, pointing at Frederick. Frederick's eyes get wide.

Isabella pats Holly on the back. "Calm down, sweetie."

"What's wrong with her?" Frederick asks, his eyes still wide.

"Nothing big," Tamira assures. "She ate some bad berries."

"Will she be alright?" Frederick asks, sounding concerned.

"Yes," Quimberly answers.

Jerome shrugs and says, "That's all the answer I need. So what's the challenge?"

Esme corrects, "Tsk. Tsk. We need to wait until everyone is present." The guys that were swimming make it up to the others. "There you guys are. Thanks for joining us. It's time to get to the second challenge."

"Alright," Angelo answers. "We'll join you all, once we get changed."

"Ain't nobody got time for that," the hostess insists.

"You're wantin' us to compete in the challenge in our swimsuits?" Luke asks, looking confused.

Skylar puts a hand on LUke's shoulder. "Dude. It's Esme we're talking about, here." Luke nods.

"So, for your challenge..." Esme begins, staring at Angelo, "we'll be revisiting an old classic."

"Jerome?" LeVar suggests. Jerome glares at LeVar. "I'm just messing with you, man."

"You're all trying to get me!" Holly shouts. Holly's eyes dart in several directions. "You're just like the elves on Boney Island."

"Charming," Frederick says, with a frown. "She is going to go back to normal at some point, right?"

Grace smiles widely and says, "Frederick, your concern is so commendable. Some of you other guys could learn a lot from his example." She points directly at LeVar, who attempts to pick something out of his teeth.

Skylar rings the water out of his hair, and asks, "What, now?"

Grace shakes her head in disapproval. She says, "I said you could learn from Frederick's example. If only you would start showing concern for other..."

Holly looks all around. She warns, "Watch out! The flamingos are beginning to swarm!" Holly swats at the air.

"Um, excuse me, sweetie," Grace says with a frown. "I'm trying to make a point about showing concern for other people."

Cary rubs the back of his head. He suggests, "Maybe she should visit the medical staff."

"I have a cleric's staff in my luggage if you..." LeVar begins. He says, "Oh... You mean a medic..." LeVar looks to the side and puts a hand on his forehead. "I knew I should have brought my healing elixir."

"That nerdy stuff would do no good," Grace assures. "It's all fake."

"It is not!" LeVar barks. "It's real!"

"My dear boy, one should never shout at a lady," Frederick instructs while waving a finger.

"The whole 'lady' thing in her regard is debatable," LeVar defensively states.

Grace threatens, "You'll get yours soon enough, dirtbag." LeVar sticks his tongue out at Grace.

LeVar is shown in confessional. "I guess I'm not as reformed as I thought, but..." LeVar growls. "That Grace girl really steams my recuperation biscuit."

Esme is shown, again, as she begins to explain the challenge. "Man... It's hard to keep everyone focused." Esme claps her hands, getting everyone's attention. "As I was saying, like, ten minutes, ago, the challenge is a classic. You'll be duelling battles with watermelons!"

"Yessuh!" Dirk shouts.

"I'm sorry, but aren't you afraid of being humiliated in the same challenge, again?" Blair asks, with a concerned look.

Dirk shakes his head. "I have been training for this moment for eight years! Plus, I'm wearing a cup!" Dirk knocks on the crotch of his pants. "This time I'm prepared!" Dirk gets many disturbed stares. Frederick puts his hand over his face and shakes his head.

"Can we get on with the challenge?" Hae Won suggests. "I'm tired of thinking about Dirk."

"I guess," Esme says with a shrug. "More Dirk for my thoughts." Dirk's eyes get wide. "So... you will all be paired up with an opponent. You'll slap each other with a baton with watermelons on either end, and knock each other into..."

"A pit of quicksand?" Jerome guesses.

"Did you say 'pit'?" Skylar asks, his eyes wide.

Esme raises a finger to the air. "That's where the new twist on the old, classic challenge takes place." Esme walks over to a sheet covering what appears to be two platforms. The hostess removes the sheet, revealing two platforms on either side of a pit. "Here are your platforms, and..."

"A pit full of watermelons?" Zoe asks, while blinking.

"Isn't that a little redundant?" Grace asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Wait," Skylar lets out. He points at the platforms. "Are those our team colors?"

"Yeah, why?" Esme answers. "Is there something wrong with them?"

"Pink and blue?" Skylar observes. "Somebody that I spent a good deal of time with on my last season, would probably be pretty annoyed by those stereotypical colors." Skylar folds his arms. "I mean, not that I care. I'm just speaking for people who don't appreciate gender stereotypes, is all."

"I'm all for stereotypes," Dirk assures with a smile. "Especially the one about guys being better at everything."

"Including childbirth?" Isabella asks and signs.

"Especially childbirth," Dirk assures.

"Um... Okay?" Isabella says and signs. Her expression either confused or concerned.

Esme is shown in confessional. She explains, "This is where I had to make my most difficult choice as host, yet. Do I upset Dirk or Skylar with how I handle this situation?"

Back at the challenge explanation, Esme nervously looks to the side. "Uh... gender stereotypes? That's total cray cray."

"It is?" Skylar asks, looking confused.

"Um, yeah!" Esme responds, adding a slight scoff. "The guys team is that totally pretty pink color. The girls team color is blue, or whatever?"

"Really?" Skylar asks.

"Really?" Dirk asks. Esme nods rapidly. Dirk looks to the side. "Leave it to a girl to choose the most puke inducing color in existence to represent a team of pure and raw masculinity."

"I guess that is kind of cool, not that I mind blue, or anything," Skylar assures with a shrug.

Cary nods. "Every color is special in its own way, right Angelo?"

"Now you're stretching it, a little, buddy," Angelo assures. Cary looks down, clearly disappointed in himself. "I mean... You got it, dude!" Cary perks back up.

Esme explains, "So if everybody is ready... Oh, I almost forgot! Here's safety gear... Sorry, I..."

"Only had enough for the guys' team?" Grace asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Esme responds. "How'd you guess?"

"Just lucky, I guess," Grace replies, looking to the side.

Freerick shakes his head. "Now that's just not fair. I move that the guys forego their equipment for the ladies to use... Or at the very least, no one use it."

Angelo nods. "I think that sounds fair."

Esme sighs. "You guys make this so difficult. My inner conflict is off the charts, right now. Do I give The Hunky McHunkingtons a challenge advantage, or risk losing their favor?" Esme bites her knuckles. Esme lets out a sigh. "I guess I have no choice." Esme lights a match and tosses it in the box of equipment, engulfing the items in fire. The others look on with wide eyes.

"Agh!" Holly shouts. "The box is burning! It's a sign!"

"It's okay, people," Angelo assures. "Just stay calm. Nobody will get hurt." Esme lets out a soft sigh. Zane runs over, pulls out a fire extinguisher, looks at Esme staring at Angelo, and sprays her with the fire extinguisher, before turning the device on the fire and leaving. Esme glares after her assistant.

The contestants are shown, ready to get the challenge started. Esme explains, "Since the girls have more contestants, they have to sit someone out, and the guys get to pick who sits out!"

"Okay, this is obvious," Jerome insists.

"We sit out Blair," Frederick declares.

"What?" several guys, and Esme, shout in unison.

"Me?" Blair asks. "You find me more threatening than Quimberly?"

Frederick explains, "Not exactly, my dear. I believe in having as fair a competition as possible."

"That's mighty noble of ya," Luke assures.

"Besides, Quimberly can only take one of us out, so we still have a shot at this challenge," Frederick explains.

"Frederick does speak truth," Anders explains.

"I guess so," Angelo agrees.

Anders and Holly are prepared to start their portion of the challenge. "When I say 'go', Anders, feel free to knock Holly off of her platform."

"And Holly's cue?" Isabella asks, as she signs.

"Holly?" Esme responds. Isabella points at Holly, who nervously looks around. "Oh, that Holly." Esme sighs. "I guess she can attack, too." Esme holds up Holly's contract. "But she is contractually obligated not to harm any of Anders vital organs, namely, his face, abs, or birthmarks. Any questions?"

"Yes, have you been sniffing paint?" Grace asks.

"No more questions," Esme insists. "Go!"

Anders looks at Holly, his eyebrows arched. "What are you waiting for? Knock her down!" his team members shout. Anders looks at his team mates.

Anders look back to Holly. Holly looks at him. "You're the giant from the produce commercials. I'm your biggest fan, but... You don't exist!" Anders sighs. He swings his watermelon baton, and knocks Holly off of the platform. She lands head first into one of the watermelons, but can be heard shouting, "I will not succumb to your garden of doom!"

"And we're sure she'll be okay?" Frederick asks, with an eyebrow raised.

"I guess I have to help her out," Quimberly moans.

"I can do it," Angelo volunteers. He rushes over to Holly, while Quimberly begrudgingly walks over, oddly reaching Holly at the same time as Angelo. Quimberly and Angelo reach out to Holly at the same, grazing hands.

"Aw!" most of the others let out. "I knew they were perfect for each other! Just look at them!" Blair exclaims, clasping her hands, toether. Angelo and Quimberly look at each other, blush, and look away, retracting their hands. Holly sinks deeper into the pit of watermelons.

Esme's face turns red, as she avoids looking at Quimberly and Angelo. "One point for Team Studmuffin. Let's just get on with the next match."

Patsy is shown preparing for her duel against Jerome. She closes her eyes, and appears to be thinking. "Go!" Esme shouts.

Patsy glares in Esme's direction. "Do you mind? I'm trying to get into character."

"Take her out, Jerome!" Dirk shouts. "Make her sorry she was ever... I lost my train of thought..."

Frederick mumbles to Grace, "Implying he puts thought into anything." Grace giggles, as Frederick smiles.

Ruth suggests, "I'm surprised that Jerome isn't nervous about damaging his clothing, and or other features, by getting hit with a blunt instrument."

Jerome looks to the side, with a slight frown. "That's... the old Jerome."

LeVar laughs. "See? I was right on that call."

Patsy nods, and says, "I'm ready." Jerome braces for a hit, lifting his leg up and ducking his head behind his arms. Patsy falls into the watermelon pit.

Quimberly puts her hand over her face. "What was that?"

Patsy explains, "The fall? My character is a total klutz. It helps for her to stumble into awkward situations that lead to interesting, yet believable, plot points. You know, falling into the star quarterback's arms, spilling a milkshake on the mean girl, or accidentally bumping into an international spy, and unintentionally switching briefcases. You know. Usual teen stuff."

Skylar nods and says, "That all happened to me two weekends ago."

Quimberly shakes her head. "I guess I have to take matters into my own hands." The amazing, purple haired girl climbs her designated platform.

Esme sighs. "I hate to tell you this, Skylar... But you have been randomly chosen to compete against Quimberly."

Skylar gulps as he steps toward his team's pink platform. Luke slaps his friend on the back. "You can do this, pal. Just... Who am I kidding? I just hope you don't get too heavily mangled."

"Gee, thanks," Skylar replies.

"But hey, you seem to be dealing mighty good about the whole 'pit' thing."

Skylar gulps, again. He steps onto his platform, and looks down. "I forgot about that." Skylar's knees begin to shake.

"Can we just get this over with?" Quimberly requests.

Esme nods and frowns. "I'm afraid of refusing a request from Quimberly, so reluctantly, I say... Go."

Quimberly raises an arm to the air, as lightning strikes in the distance, and the moon eclipses the sun. Skylar mumbles, "Just go easy on me." Quimberly frowns. She easily knocks the circus performer from his platform, seemingly not even striking him with the watermelon covered implement.

Skylar falls of the side of the platform with the ladder, and lands hard on his back on the ground. He groans, "Thank you, your excellency, for not making me face my fear of pits... Although... I believe I've developed a fear of the ground." Angelo helps Skylar to his feet, as Cary climbs the platform, as does Ruth.

Cary assures, "I'll try to avoid doing any physical harm to your general person, as well as your emotions."

"Thanks?" Ruth responds. Cary nods.

"Go!" Esme commands. Cary instantly falls from his platform.

Ruth admits, "Well, that was easy."

"Weak!" Dirk shouts. "Seriously, dude? What happened?"

Cary admits, "I don't know. I got up on the platform, and thought about Quimberly's performance in the previous match... Then I just fell..."

"That does explain it," Dirk admits, looking to the side.

"Dirk, you're up," Dirk nod, and quickly jumps onto the platform.

Zoe steps onto her platform. "Let's both agree to do our best."

Dirk rolls his eyes. "Even my worst is better than your best, and so is my medium good."

"Huh?" Zoe asks, looking confused.

"Just..." Esme begins. "Go!"

Dirk shouts, "With my watermelon resistant cup..."

"Why are we hearing about that, again?" Tamira asks.

"I will vanquish my enemy!" Dirk finishes. "Give me your best shot, then I'll bring it." Zoe shrugs, hits Dirk in the head, and he falls into the watermelon pit. Dirk calls out, "Wait! 'Athletic' female opponent... Ponytail... This feeling I'm experiencing?"

"I reckon it's called Deja voodoo," Luke suggests, with one eye half open. "Or something like that."

Dirk climbs out of the pit. "At least I discovered the real enemy."

"Ponytails?" Brent asks.

Dirk nods. "Ponytails."

"Come on, guys," Esme cheers. "Pick it up! The... Girl Team is wining two to three."

LeVar and Grace are next to get on the platform, after Esme signals to each of them who will be competing next. "You!" they shout in unison.

"This is going to be fun!" LeVar says with a smirk.

"Oh, you like getting your butt handed to you?" Grace asks, smirking back at her opponent.

"Yes," LeVar responds. "I mean, no! And stop talking about my butt!"

"Go!" Esme shouts.

LeVar and Grace compete in an epic clash, striking each other's weapons several times. "You're going down!" Grace taunts.

"Ladies first!" LeVar taunts back.

"That's my philosophy," Frederick assures Patsy with a thumbs up, who responds with a confused nod.

As the battle wages on, Grace points and says, "Look at that nerdy space ship fueled by bilingual crystals, or whatever."

"Where?" LeVar asks, looking behind him. Grace's tactic backfires, as LeVar swings his wartermelon baton swings and strikes Grace's side, knocking her off of her platform.

"The guys are coming back strong," Esme excitedly observes. "Three to three."

Angelo and Yuko are next to get on their platforms. Yuko explains, "Since I'm only here as an observer, I opt to forfeit the challenge."

Angelo says, "Uh. Won't that make your team mad at you if they lose the challenge?"

Yuko looks at her team members. "They won't remember by then." Yuko climbs down her platform. Angelo shrugs, before climbing down his platform.

"Next up," Esme announces, "Luke versus Hae Won."

Luke holds out his hand. "Let's play a nice clean match."

"Sure, pal," Hae Won insists, looking to the left, then right quickly.

"Uh, is there sumthin' the matter with your eye vision?" Luke asks. Hae Won blushes and proceeds to climb onto the platform.

"Go!" the hostess shouts.

Luke laughs and rubs the back of his head. "I'm sure we both feel bad about having to battle it out." Hae Won swings at Luke, hitting him in the stomach. The country boy doesn't even flinch. He simply looks confused. He shrugs and moves the baton toward Hae Won, attempting to push her off of the platform, taking advantage of his long arms. Hae Won catches her balance instead of falling back.

"Not so fast," Hae Won lets out. She grabs hold of the watermelon on the end of Luke's baton, and becomes airborne. Luke pulls Hae Won toward him, as she hovers over the pit. Hae Won doesn't let go, but bites the watermelon to cement her place. "I'm not going out that easy," she taunts, impressively due to the watermelon between her teeth. Luke shakes the baton until Hae Won finally falls into the watermelon pit.

"Uh, sorry about that, miss," Luke says from atop his platform. "No hard feelings?"

Hae Won's eyes shift from above the pool of watermelons. "Of course not..." She sinisterly mutters, "Not once I get my revenge."

"What was that now?" Luke asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," Hae Won insists, as she ominously sinks into the hole filled with watermelons.

Brent is the next to compete for the guys, Isabella for the girls. Brent swings his baton at Isabella. She leaps, avoiding getting hit, displaying her gymnastic skills. She then strikes Brent, causing him to fall off the platform. The deaf girl looks sympathetic as she signs and says, "If it's any consolation, your performance was below average."

"Unlike Angelo," Hae Won assures. Everyone else looks at Angelo, and nods in agreement. Angelo blushes in response.

Esme explains, "If we can all manage to look away from Angelo's beauty, there's one match left to go. The girls lead five to four."

"So we already won, you mean?" Ruth asks.

Esme defensively responds, "No! The guys could still tie it up."

"Like that'll happen," Grace responds, with an eye roll.

"Frederick and what's her name, chop chop," Esme instructs.

"It's Tamira," Tamira reminds, clearly offended by the host forgetting her name.

"Just... get ready for the duel," Esme replies, flicking her wrist at the remaining pair.

Tamira and Frederick nod and climb the platforms. Frederick smiles at Tamira. "Let's have a friendly, fair match."

"Agreed," Tamira replies with a nod.

"Go!" Esme shouts. "C'mon, Frederick," Esme quietly and nervously cheers.

"You can do this, Tamira!" Zoe cheers.

"Both of you are special, and have no reason to feel inferior to the other, no matter the outcome!" Cary insists. "You can do it... or anything else you set your mind to!"

Tamira swings her watermelon baton at Frederick, but he dodges it. He looks at Tamira, and then back to his team. He lets out a sigh and steps toward Tamira, raising his watermelon encrusted weapon with his arm. The wealthy, young man's eyes widen as he stumbles forward, and catches his balance, only to slip backward. The bulky guy lets out, "Oh my stars and garters," before falling off of the platform and onto the ground, with a heavy thud and a vocal "Oofa!"

"Oh, my!" Esme shouts, putting her hand over her mouth. "Are you alright?"

Frederick stands and nods, dusting himself off. "I'm... alright."

Isabella begins, "That means..."

"We win, again!" Grace lets out. She drops to her knees. "The universe does care!"

"I guess I'll see the guys at their second elimination," Esme sadly says. "It pains me just to say it." The host slouches as she heads off.

"Oh well, guys," Angelo states. "We did our best, so I don't want anyone to be too hard on themselves."

Cary nods. "I like your thought process." Isabella stares at Angelo.

"Looks like someone else likes Angelo's thought process, as well," Hae Won says with a smirk.

Grace adds, "And the rest of him, as well."

Hae Won looks at Grace and says, "Ooh, girl!"

Isabella blushes. "You two are being silly."

"Just hear me out," Hae Won requests. "You can never trust hot guy." Hae Won puts a finger up. "They can't be that good looking without it going to their heads." Grace nods. "In addition, he has to be hiding something."

"Nobody is that nice," Grace insists.

"You said it, sister," Hae Won replies.

Isabella insists, as she signs, "You guys are reading way too much into things."

"Just heed our warning," Grace suggests. "In fact, it goes for all those guys."

Hae Won nods. "I don't trust any of them, myself." Isabella thinks for a moment. She then proceeds to walk away.

"Hey, girl!" Grace says. "We at least made her think about it." Grace looks at Hae Won. "You've had guy trouble, too?"

"You said it, sister," Hae Won answers with a sad sigh. "Not to mention Dante."

"You just did," Grace points out. Hae Won glares at Grace. Grace sighs. "What did we ever do to deserve this fate?"

"We should get going," Quimberly states.

"Yes, ma'am," Grace says, promptly responding by following the rarity of nature. Yuko looks over her shoulder and sighs, before following the others.

Yuko is shown in the confessional on Boney Island. "This two island thing is making my observing pretty difficult. I mean, I can barely see what the guys are up to, and my telescope barely helps." Yuko lets out a sigh.

Dirk and Jerome are shown talking behind their cabin wall. Jerome whispers, "I smell something fishy."

"Sorry," Dirk replies. Frederick prepares to walk around the corner, but stops short.

"Not you, brother," Jerome replies with a roll of his eyes. "I mean Frederick."

"Yeah," Dirk replies. He puts a hand on the side of his mouth. "I think he's had some work done."

Jerome puts two fingers on the bridge of his nose. "Not that. That's obvious." Frederick frowns. "No, I mean... Don't you find his performances in the challenges a little... odd?" Dirk stares blankly at Jerome. "Almost like he's..."

"Bad at challenges?" Dirk suggests.

Jerome sighs. "He wants to impress the lady folk. I think he's been throwing challenges."

Dirk's mouth hangs wide open as he slaps his cheek. "No!"

"Yeah'uh!" Jerome assures.

"That dirty... no good..." Dirk mumbles.

"So I guess it's clear who we need to vote out," Jerome says. Dirk nods. "Let's get back to the others before we're joined by 'Traitor-ick'."

Dirk laughs. "Clever! I like it!"

Frederick takes a few steps. He pauses to lift up his foot and to examine it. He rubs his hand on his foot, and holds his hand up as the liquid on his shoe causes his hand to shine in the sunlight. "Is someone there?" Jerome asks, before turning the corner. Frederick rushes away.

At the elimination ceremony, Esme lets out yet another sigh. "As much as I enjoy seeing you fellas, again, I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

"As are I," Luke responds. He looks to the side. "Or sumthin'."

Esme admits, "I just want to get this over with... The second person leaving the competition is..."

"Not one of you!" the host reveals. "Ladies, if you will please join us."

The female contestants walk up. "What are they doing here?" Dirk asks.

"Yeah," Grace says. "I was wondering the same thing." The drama queen folds her arms.

Esme explains, "After I reviewed the footage of the challenge, I noticed something odd."

"We weren't going to bring up Zoe's fashion choices," Tamira loudly whispers.

"Besides that," Esme says, flippantly waving her hand. Blair's eyes begin to water. "I discovered this!" Esme holds up a portable DVD player, showing Hae Won mentioning Angelo, and the others looking at him. Esme pauses the video.

"Yeah, we remember that," Patsy assures. "It kind of just happened."

"And I'm not sure what's so 'odd' about it," Skylar insists. "Besides how oddly handsome Angelo is." Angelo's eyes widen, as the others nod in agreement.

"Watch what happened after that," Esme instructs. She pushes play, again. As the others are distracted, Hae Won rubs a stick of butter on the male contestant's platform. The contestant's eyes get wide.

"That means..." Brent begins.

Angelo finishes, "That's why Frederick had trouble staying on his platform." Jerome looks down at the ground, looking slightly guilty.

"Those dirty, rotten, no good cheaters!" Dirk blurts out. He folds his arms. "I told you all they couldn't be trusted, but did anyone listen? No!"

"This kind of thing is completely against the rules," Esme insists. "Well, unless the perp gets away with it."

Hae Won nervously laughs. "I was just trying to help my team out."

"Objection!" Holly shouts. The others look to her. She lets out a slight giggle. "That was on the list of things I've always wanted to randomly shout."

"So what does this all mean?" Grace asks, looking away from the interruption.

"If the guys will be so kind as to leave the area, the girls will need to vote somebody from their own team out," Esme explains. "I'm sorry, that's just the way it goes." Esme hardly looks heartbroken over the announcement. "I'll see the ladies after they proceed to vote someone out."

The real elimination ceremony is underway, Grace, Zoe, Isabella, Quimberly, Tamira, Patsy, Yuko, Ruth, and Blair are revealed to have already received marshmallows. "That leaves only Hae Won and Holly. The lone remaining marshmallow is for..."

"Holly." The hostess tosses the final marshmallow to the consumer of bad berries. Holly screams and ducks as the projectile approaches her. It bounces off of her back and lands behind the paranoid contestant.

Hae Won glares at the other present contestants. "I am not pleased by this outcome, especially when 'kookoo puffs' gets to stay." The vindictive Asian girl points at Holly.

"Well, we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you," Zoe says with a shrug.

"I was helping the team," Hae Won insists. "Aside from the whole... revenge for eliminating me from the challenge thing. But that's not the point."

"Even if you thought you were helping, I would never want to be labeled as a cheater," Zoe explains, glaring back at Hae Won.

Esme looks on. "Well, it pains me to say, and junk, that it's time for you to go, Hae Won."

"Still ticked," Hae Won assures, as she gathers her things together.

"If it makes you feel better," Isabella assures, "at least you weren't the first one eliminated, like in your first season."

"That's true," Hae Won realizes.

"Well, technically," Blair begins, "this season had more contestants than Total Drama Tropics, so you actually did worse than your..." Hae Won shifts her glare to Blair. "Uh. I'll be quiet, now."

"Seeya, girl," Grace says. "I'll miss you."

Hae Won forces a smile and nods at her friend. The first person eliminated from the Estro-generation team proceeds to head to the waiting Boat of Losers. She pauses and looks back at the others. "I should warn you. I will have my revenge." Hae Won turns and boards the loser transportation.

"Now that was ominous," Ruth admits. "And I thought she usually only took revenge on other people."

"I'm not sure what she could do to us, though, now that she's gone," Tamira assures.

Quimberly recollects, "Isn't it entirely obvious? She seemed concerned when Esme told us we had to come back here, and she went back to the island to pack her things."

"She had plenty of time to sabotage the island," Patsy figures out.

"I didn't feel the need to spell it out," Quimberly admits, folding her arms and looking to the side.

"Well..." Esme responds, "Have fun with that." The hostess turns to the camera. "Thanks for joining us on another Total... Drama:... Worst of the Worst! We'll see you, next time."

#### Chapter 4 - Decathlon Division

"Welcome to another Total... Drama:... Worst of the Worst!" the show's host excitedly introduces. "We're back for more fun, excitement, and hot guys! Now, before we get on with the next episode, let's recap what happened on our last episode. The teams battled it out in a series of epic duels, involving lots of watermelons and... watermelon weaponry... It sounds kind of lame... I guess you had to be there. Anyway, the girls were declared the winners, but the good news is that due to Hae Won's cheating to secure the victory, the girls' team was disqualified, and had to visit the elimination ceremony, instead." Esme tries to hide her joy. "Even though Holly was gackin' on kookoo berries, Hae Won's actions in the challenge sent her packing, as it should be." Esme looks back. "She did suspect her elimination, though, and sabotaged the girl's island accordingly... I wonder what that means." Esme shrugs. "I'm sure it's nothing serious."

The members of Estro-generation are shown leaving their campfire ceremony. Cary looks on as the women depart, among some of his other team members. Cary sadly says, "Looks like Hae Won is gone... I'd find that little rhyme more enjoyable if it wasn't under such sad circumstances." Frederick looks away with a frown.

Anders walks up to the guys, "Hey! We're about to play 'Pin the Tail on the Dirk'. You guys should come join us."

"That sounds fun," Cary admits. He pauses, for a moment. "It won't inflict any actual pain on the guy, though..."

"I think Jerome mentioned something about that being the point," Anders explains, trying to think back. "Then he said 'no pun intended', even though I thought there was an intended pun." The tall Swede shrugs. "I'm often wrong about those kinds of things."

Cary says, "I guess we'll pass. I appreciate the offer, though."

Anders looks at Frederick. "What's he so sad about?"

"I'm not sad," Frederick defensively responds.

Brent explains, "I've noticed he gets this way when the other team isn't around."

Skylar smirks. "Ooh! Frederick's getting his crush on. Which girl is it, bro?"

Frederick's face is red. He admits, "That's none of your business... I mean, if that statement had any truth behind it. Then it wouldn't be any of your business."

Skylar scratches the back of his head. "Sorry. I'm not following. Are you trying to offer me a job? I'm sorry, bro, but I'm not into working for the man."

Frederick rolls his eyes. "I'm tired of this inane conversation." The wealthy guy heads toward his cabin.

Skylar looks after Frederick, and once the blond guy is out of earshot, says, "He totally wants to play pin the tail on the Dirk."

"You?" Anders asks.

"Nah," Skylar admits with shrug. "As much as I seriously don't mind the guy... I don't really want to be in his presence, if I can help it. Again, not that I have anything against him, or anything..."

Angelo and Luke walk up to the other guys. "Hey, guys. What's up?" Cary asks.

"Angelo and I were exploring the island," Luke explains. "Did you know there was an underwater catacomb under the island?"

"I learned of it, last season," Cary admits. Brent nods.

Luke folds his arms and looks to the side. "Well, I didn't hear about it." Luke smiles, again, and points to Angelo. "This'un caught a freshwater shark with his bare hands."

"It was nothing, really," Angelo assures, looking down at the ground.

"Whoa," Anders lets out. "That's cool! Did you bring it back for us to dine upon?"

"Huh?" Angelo asks. "I think you misunderstand. It was chasing us from the catcombs, and fell from a waterfall. I swung by on a vine and caught it... But like I said. It was no big deal, or anything. I'm sure it would have survived the fall without me, despite those razor sharp rocks pricariously placed below... Anyway, I let it go."

Anders frowns, a little. He says, "I'm going to go away, now." Anders walks off.

"I guess he wasn't impressed like I was," Luke says with a shrug.

Anders is shown stepping into confessional. He admits, "I thought catching a shark was cool, but Angelo made it sound like it wasn't." Anders shrugs. "I guess it isn't as cool as I thought."

The team made up of all females is shown arriving on their Boney Island home. Zoe nervously looks around the area. Isabella looks over at her. "Are you worried about what Hae Won said about booby trapping the island?"

"That?" Zoe asks. She scoffs. "Of course not. I'm not scared of anything Hae Won could do." Patsy puts a hand to her chin as she looks at Zoe. A large spider lunges at her, and grasps onto her face. Zoe responds by throwing her arms in the air, running, and screaming.

Zoe is shown in confessional. "For the record, anything that came along with the island doesn't count. I'm entirely open about being afraid of that. At least that spider is gone, though I'd give it's leap a perfect ten if I were judging." Zoe turns to leave the confessional, the spider fully visible on the back of her head.

The female contestants make it back to the area that Quimberly built the team's shelter. Holly gestures toward the shelter which remains standing. She says, "See? The shelter is still standing. Nothing to worry about." Zoe thinks for a moment, and then nods.

Tamira looks in Holly's direction and smirks. "Looks like someone is feeling better."

Holly blushes, and looks to the side. "Yeah. I feel like my system has been cleared."

Patsy looks down at the ground, and a trail of some purple substance leading to Tamira's shoes. Patsy raises a finger in the air and says, "And by that one can deduce that by 'clearing your system' you meant..." Patsy dramatically points in Holly's direction, "horrifically vomiting all over the ground when no one was looking!" The others look over at Holly with wide eyes.

Holly's face is beet red. "Well, yeah! But I was putting it politely so everyone wouldn't know."

Patsy shakes her head. "Truly cunning. But I will not rest while such brazen deception is taking place." Some of the others applaud Patsy, while Holly looks down at the ground and to the side. Yuko frowns as she looks toward Holly. The observant girl slowly backs away, however, to further secure her position among the bushes.

Patsy appears in confessional, looking particularly excited. "I totally nailed the character! This is going great so far."

Holly is shown in confessional with her face in her hands. "Now I won't be known only as Missy's sister, but as the lying, projectile vomiter of Total Drama."

Back at the girl's camp, Grace is shown putting some of her clothes away. She assures, "We've been back for all this time and not a single bad thing has happened." She looks over at Zoe and then Holly. "Besides that hilarious spider thing, and then the mystery of the purple vomit."

Zoe thinks, before shrugging. "I guess I was worried about nothing."

Isabella holds up a bra. "See. I told you there was nothing to worry about." Isabella's bra proceeds to explode. Zoe leaps into Blair's arms. Isabella looks on with wide eyes at the charred remains of her support.

"Now that's what I call a booby trap," Ruth comments. The others look at her with wide eyes. "What? Too soon?"

The following morning, Esme is shown at the guys' camp. She holds up a megaphone. "Rise and shine, fellas! We're going to get the challenge started, early!"

In the guys' dwelling place, Jerome's right eye shoots open. "You have got to be kidding me. I need, exactly, twelve point eight hours of sleep for my beauty regimen."

Dirk turns to face his matress and places a pillow to the back of his head. He groans, "I'd rather go back to my nightmare about that Esme person than have to face her in real life." Dirk's backside pointing in the air reveals a pair of criss-crossed bandages where he was presumably stabbed during the makeshift party game."

Cary encourages, "Come on, people. Let's get out there and take the day's challenge head on."

"I guess," Jerome replies, half-heartedly.

"Wait..." Brent lets out. "Twelve point eight hours?"

The guys quickly get ready, in order to join the host outdoors. Skylar looks over at Frederick, combing his hair with extreme concentration, as a few strands of his hair keeps flicking up. "Dude... you take longer at getting ready, than Jerome to get ready."

Jerome rolls his eyes. "Says the man in the full suit, top hat, and monocle."

Anders excitedly looks around. "Sir Peanut is here? Ninety-nine out of a hundred moms choose his peanut butter. I love his product." Anders comment goes ignored, after a few momentary stares.

"I'm not going out there until my hair is straight," Frederick says in an annoyed tone.

"Dude, take it from me," Skylar assures. "That's what hats are for. Now, I'm sure you guys assume that with my mane, I never have a bad..."

"I didn't pack a hat, brainiac," Frederick responds.

Skylar replies, "Dude, you can borrow... Jerome's." Skylar snatches Jerome's hat, as Jerome's eyes get wide.

"No, I..." Jerome begins to protest. Skylar hands Jerome's hat to Frederick.

Frederick looks in the mirror, and shrugs. "I guess I've looked worse."

"Like during your pre-surgery days?" Anders hopefully suggests. Cary frowns.

Dirk laughs and puts his fist under his mouth. "Dude! Burn! Nice one!" Frederick's glare at Anders makes his feeling toward the comment evident. Anders doesn't seem to notice as he looks at Dirk and smiles. Most of the guys rush out of the cabin, Jerome hesitates, as he looks toward the mirror, rubbing the top of his head, his thinning hair in clear view. He turns and heads outside to join the others, holding his head down as he does.

Esme welcomes the male contestants, "You guys are right on time! Thanks for joining us."

"You asked us what took so long," Tamira asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Never mind that, now, sweetie," Esme dismisses, with a flick of her wrist. "We're not here to discuss me, we're here to discuss the challenge. I can't say I'm surprised you forgot."

Dirk laughs and says, "Yes!" He gets several annoyed glares.

"So," Esme goes on, "the challenge of the day is based on that oh, so memorable challenge from Total Drama Tropics. The decathlon challenge!"

Patsy admits, "I don't even remember that challenge, and I was on that season." Patsy removes her glasses, to breathe on them, revealing two black marks around her eyes.

"Wait," Ruth recalls. "Isn't that the one where Beau nearly lost his costume?"

"Oh, that's why she remembers it," Skylar says, snapping his fingers.

"I'll have you all know that there's more to me that I completed the twelve step program, and I'm fully over my boy craziness," Esme insists. "I don't even remember that scene with Beau... whoever that is. I only thought of the challenge since Hae Won was the first out from her team, this time, and then after back then."

"I saw a still of that scene with Beau in Esme's wallet," Zane states as he walks by carrying a potted plant.

Esme barks after Zane, "Nobody was talking to you!" The host reflects back. "Wait! Why were you going through my wallet!" Esme looks over at Frederick. "Love the hat!"

Skylar points at Jerome, who looks down, visibly uncomfortable. "It's Jerome's hat, but it was kind of my idea."

"Never mind that," Quimberly says, snapping her fingers. "The challenge?"

"Right," Esme responds. "All of you will be paired up in a match based on or inspired by an athletic event."

"Aren't 'based on' and 'inspired by' the same thing?" Blair asks. Esme glares at Blair. "I'll stop talking, now." Blair holds her head down.

Esme says, "Back to the challenge... I guess you'll be paired against a member of the competing team in different athletic events... and... that's about it, I guess." The host raises a finger to the air. "It's time to get ready for the challenge." Zane walks up holding a box marked 'Costumes' with an image of Nolan winking plastered on it. "I'll see you all in a few!"

Anders and Isabella are the first match up. Anders face is red. "This costume feels exposing." Anders covers his unitard with his arms.

"What? This is an official gymnastics style challenge," Esme insists. "There are absolutely no ulterior motives behind the costume." Esme quickly snaps a photo of Anders when he isn't looking.

"Gymnastics?" Isabella says, while signing. "I got this."

"I'll say," Zane adds, walking by while carrying a bucket of paint, he lets out a flirtatious whistle, before leaving the area.

Esme barks after Zane, "Try a little self-control." She rolls her eyes. "So annoying." Several people blink in response to Esme. Esme smiles and turns to the contestants. "You two will swing from those ring thingies, and then land on that tumble horsey, or whatever you call it. Then do some whirly flips and land on that mat. The winner will be the contestant who sticks the best landing , as decided by moi."

One of LeVar's eyebrow goes up. "Ginger is here?"

Zoe claps. "Okay, people! Put forth your best effort!"

"Agreed!" Cary cheers.

Zane walks up, holding a boombox, playing some classical music. Esme intructs you may begin. Anders and Isabella begin running toward the rings, each has their own set of equipment. Anders leaps and grasps the rings. The impressively tall manlands on the ground with his feet, still grasping the the rings. He sticks out his tongue as he tries to swing himself toward the pommel horse. Isabella does some twirls, quite easily as she launches onto the pommel horse putting up her arms as she properly lands. Anders swings from the rings and lands hard on the pommel horse. Isabella's eyes widen as she bounces from the sheer force as to which Anders landed on his pommel horse, despite his being on an entirely separate piece of equipment. "What the..." Isabella mouths. Isabella begins to concentrate as she does several flips. The others watch in amazement. Anders looks over at Isabella and does similar flips, though the landings are decidedly less graceful and far more forceful. Isabella then proceeds to flip off of the pommel horse, landing on the ground. She smiles and raises her arms up. Anders also does a flip off of his pommel horse. The sports equipment flings to the side as Anders foot pushes off of it. Anders clumsily lands on his feet. The pommel horse that fell due to the force of Anders leaping from it connects with Isabella, who sails a few feet threw the air, with wide eyes, be fore she lands on the ground, staring up at the sky. Anders looks over at his opponent, and then smiles, looking unsure of himself, as he raises his arms in the air.

Esme blinks. She says, "I guess, since Isabella ended up falling... eventually, Anders earns a point for his team." The guys cheer, while Anders looks down at himself. He proceeds to cover himself with his arms. "Okay. Next match."

LeVar walks up. He blushes as he walks torward a ring painted in the sand wearing a scant sumo wrestling costume. "Looking good, LeVar," Dirk says, while stifling a laugh.

"Can we just get this stupid thing over with?" LeVar requests. "Who's my opponent, anyway?" He looks at his approaching opponent. "You?"

Skylar leans over to Luke and says, "Looks like the rivalry continues."

Grace waddles out, dressed in a round, fake sumo wreslter costume. "This has to be the most embarassing costume, ever!" Grace dramatically states with a sigh. She looks over at LeVar and bursts out laughing. "I stand corrected."

LeVar barks, "But soon, you'll be corrected on the ground... You know... because you'll be knocked over? On account of the sumo match?"

"I get it," Grace says with an eye roll. "At least you don't have to wear a stupid suit that makes you so... plump."

LeVar shrugs. "I'm strangely attracted to it... just not what it contains." Grace glares at LeVar. "And hey..." LeVar looks over at Esme. "Why am I stuck in the nearly non-existent diaper?"

Esme shouts, "Go!"

"What, already?" LeVar asks. "But you didn't even answer my question!" Grace waddles toward him. LeVar lets out a laugh. "You can't be serious. You don't stand a chance against old LeVar."

"More like 'newborn LeVar'," Dirk loudly whispers toward Anders, who responds with laughter.

LeVar glares after Dirk. Grace takes advantage of the distraction and runs at LeVar at full speed. LeVar looks at her as she screams, "Graaaah!"

LeVar sidesteps, dodging Grace. LeVar laughs. "Please. This is going to be easier than the time I took you down in that previous challenge." LeVar charges toward the drama queen who looks on with wide eyes at the impending impact. LeVar makes contact with the sumo suit. Instead of knocking Grace down, the strike makes LeVar bounce back. The confident jock stumbles backward, his eyes wide as he tries to regain his balance. He fails to do so, as he falls outside of the ring.

"Now you know what I have that you don't," Grace says with a smirk.

LeVar lifts his head. "Yeah. Extra padding?" Grace frowns and glares at LeVar. LeVar drops his head back.

"I was going to say 'chutzpah'," Grace mutters.

The next match shows Quimberly spinning in the air on a skateboard. She leaps from the skateboard, landing on the ground on her feet. The skateboard plummets to the ground behind her, bursting into flames before it lands on the ground as ash. The others watch in stunned silence, before Cary breaks out in applause. The cheerful guy admits, "That was amazing! So amazing that I'm going to concede defeat." Cary bows in Quimberly's direction. "I'm not worthy of your excellence." Cary looks up at the other contestants. "Not that the rest of you aren't excellent."

"I reckon I'd be more miffed at him if he actually stood a chance," Luke admits with a shrug. The country boy points behind him. "Are we ready for my challenge, now? This tiny swimsuit is right freezin'."

Esme looks at Luke, and then down at a piece of paper. "No, no. Not yet."

"So why did you have me change so early?" Luke asks, while blinking.

The host turns to face the other contestants. "So, the girls are leading two to one. Angelo and Holly are gonna wrestle."

"Excuse me?" Holly asks as she walks forward, clipping her headgear together. "I must have misheard you. I'm not actually going to wrestle... him?"

Angelo, dressed in a yellow singlet, nods. "Looks like it."

"I don't stand a chance against someone like him," Holly insists.

"At least she's self aware," Grace comments, with a smirk.

Angelo looks over at Holly. He then proceeds to look down at the ground. "I... I can't do this."

"Eh, what?" Dirk asks with wide eyes. "You... cannot... be... serious."

Angelo nods. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't feel right about fighting a female contestant like this. If that makes me a target, so be it." Dirk glares at Angelo.

Some of the female contestants dreamily sigh. "Now that's a man!" Grace insists. She points at LeVar, "Start taking notes."

LeVar glares at her. "You know you can take off the sumo costume, right?"

Grace looks confused. "I'm not wearing it, any..." She glares at a smirking LeVar. "Shut your face."

"We love you, Angelo!" an unidentifiable female shouts. Angelo blushes. Frederick looks toward Angelo and blinks.

Esme explains, "Well done, Angelo. You see everyone, this actually wasn't a wrestling match."

"It wasn't?" Holly asked, sounding confused.

Esme shakes her head. "This was actually a... test... for... doing the right thing. Angelo passed with flying colors! The score is now two for The Incredible Hunks... and the... What's Their Faces have two, too, or whatever."

"Nice going, Holly," Tamira sarcastically says. Holly looks over at Tamira and blinks.

"Is it time for my challenge, now, Miss Esme?" Luke asks, with his familiar drawl.

"In a minute!" Esme reprimands.

Luke sighs and looks down. "Aw, shucks..." Dirk continues to glare at Angelo.

"That Angelo guy thinks he's so perfect," Dirk reveals in confessional. Dirk folds his arms. "I'm not so easily impressed, even if he is an example in sheer masculity and/or manhood." Dirk snorts. "That guy really crimps my mullet."

Esme announces the next match, "Frederick and Yuko will be competing in a hide and seek challenge."

"I could never live with myself for competing so unfairly in..." Frederick begins, wearing a camoflauge unitard.

"Has anyone seen Yuko?" Brent asks.

"That guy is right," Quimberly admits. Brent puts a hand to his heart. "Where is Yuko?"

The others look around. "Good eye, Quimberly," Blair lets out.

"I know," Quimberly responds, rolling her eyes. Brent looks down at the ground.

Esme shrugs. "Sorry, Freddy. Yuko wins this one."

Frederick blinks. "But I..."

Yuko is shown in confessional. "I was standing right next to Brent... I knew it would be the last place they'd look. Heh heh..."

Anders looks at Jerome, who looks particularly uncomfortable. "You alright, buddy?"

Jerome's face turns a little red. "Yeah, I'm fine," Jerome insists. Anders scratches the back of his head.

"So, the girls are leading with three points, while the guys only have two victories under their belt," Esme announces.

Luke's face remains red. "And not much fabric... Anyone else notice that the guy's outfits are a little... risque?"

"Now you guys know what it's like to be demeaned," Grace responds with a fist in the air.

"Demeaned?" Luke repeats. "What does demeaned mean? I mean... Now I'm right confused."

"Brent and Ruth, your event is next," Esme announces. The pair steps forward, Brent dressed in shorts, and body paint, Ruth dressed in sweats. "That's right, y'all! Rhythmic jazz dance off!"

"Beg yer pardon?" Brent asks.

"Rhythmic jazz dance off," Ruth repeats.

"I heard her right," Brent replies. "I just don't want to believe it."

Ruth assures, "Oh, come on, old pal, it's gonna be fun!" Brent looks down and sighs.

Zane returns with his boombox, now wearing stylish sunglasses, as well. The boombox plays some eclectic jazz music, as Esme nods for Ruth and Brent to begin. And Zane nods his head to the funky rhythms of the clarinet. Ruth pulls some acrylic paint tubes from her pockets and squeezes them as she does some twirls. Brent seems to be dramatizing the hatching of a baby bird. The music stops. Ruth smiles and lets out a deep breath. "That was embarrassing," Brent insists.

"C'mon, it was fun," Ruth insists.

She turns to Esme, who is covered in two different colors of paint. "The point goes to the guys."

"Aw," Ruth sighs. "So much for artistic license."

"You need a license to do art?" Blair asks. "You learn something different every other day... Is that how the saying goes?"

Brent rejoins his team members in his sparkly attire. "That was impressive, dude," Dirk assures. "An above average performance."

"Really?" Brent asks, looking hopeful.

"But everyone knows that rhythmic jazz is a below average dance genre, so it all balances out," Dirk finishes. Brent lets out a sigh.

"Looks like the guys are headed for a comeback. Next up is Dirk versus Zoe." Esme finishes her words with a nod.

Dirk throws his arms skyward. "Yessuh!" DIrk looks at Zoe as she approaches him. "Wait, that's Zoe?"

Zoe nods. "And I plan on giving it my..."

"Save it, ponytail. You're going down this time!"

Zoe blinks. "Alright then. Are you getting enough oxygen to your brain... or... Uh. Never mind."

Dirk stretches. "I'mma ready to win this shotput throw."

"Actually, you'll be running a fifty meter dash," Esme explains.

Dirk pulls on the straps of his spandex garment. "It doesn't matter what you throw at me. I'mma gonna win."

"Can we throw shotputs at him?" Frederick suggests.

Grace laughs. "Good one." Frederick smirks, while Angelo scratches the back of his head.

"And... go!" Esme randomly shouts.

"Wait, what?" Dirk asks. Zoe is far more prepared for the race as she dashes to the finish line. Dirk realizes this and begins running after her.

"Zoe wins the fourth point for the girls," Esme admits with a sad sigh, as Zoe crosses the finish. "The guys are still at three. Come on, guys, you can do this!"

"What about us?" Patsy asks. Esme blankly stares at the redhead.

"For the record, I wasn't ready," Dirk insists. "This isn't over, ponytail."

"What isn't over?" Zoe asks, looking sincerely confused.

The host explains, "Skylar and Patsy are up."

"Let's have a good match," Skylar insists. Patsy nods.

"This competition is tennis based," the hostess explains.

"That explains the short shorts and the sweatband," Skylar remarks. "Let's do this thing."

"The first contestant to make a point wins," Esme explains.

"You know," Patsy begins, "Skylar's sweatband clashes with the sleeveless polo shirt... Then again, it's been my experience that sleeveless polo shirts clash with just about everything."

Blair says, "Patsy does raise a good point."

Grace blinks. "Which means... we win this pairing, since you said the first contestant to make a point would win. You never said what kind of point!"

"Grace does raise a good point..." Ruth expresses, with a smirk. "The pun was totally intended, by the way."

The contestants stare at Esme. She puts her hands on her head. "Gah! I can't deal with this kind of pressure! The girls get this point, so it's five to three. But the guys can still tie it up. Keep the hope alive, guys!"

"I was just staring at the remains of danish on her cheek," Tamira whispers to Grace. Grace stifles a laugh.

"Tie what up?" Dirk asks, after a few moments. "Like... gift wrapping? Guys are statistically best at that, I might add."

Dirk goes ignored. as Esme explains, "Next we have Jerome and Tamira competing against each other in water polo."

"Let's get this over with," Tamira says with a sigh. She removes her sunglasses, revealing a black eye.

"What happened to you?" Frederick asks, out of concern.

"This?" Tamira asks, pointing to her eye. "This was from one of Hae Won's boxing glove suspension... thingies. It's alright."

Frederick frowns. "Living conditions on that island sound absolutely horrendous. I ask... No... I demand that Estro-generation stay on this island."

"It's no bother, really," Tamira assures. "Well... aside from the mud... giant bats, and sabretooth squirrels."

"While that is noble of you, Freddy Boo-boo," Esme begins, "we do have a challenge to get over with, so we can't worry about that." Tamira heads to the water. "If Jerome can be so kind as to join Tamira in the water..." Everyone looks over at Jerome.

"Would everyone stop staring at me?" Jerome asks. "Despite the constant upkeep of my appearance, I'm balding. I don't know what everyone's problem is..." Jerome walks away from the others.

"Our problem?" Ruth asks. "What's his problem?"

"For the record," Skylar admits. "I was staring at his superhero tights from the costume box... Kind of the 'can't look away from a trainwreck' sort of thing... What was that all about?" The others turn to Esme, who responds with a shrug.

"I suppose that counts as a forfeit, then?" Cary asks with a slight frown.

Esme nods. "Afraid so. Sorry, fellas." Esme prepares to light a candle. "I'll see you at the elimination."

"Aw, gee," Luke says with a frown. "You mean, I wore this ridiculous swimsuit for nothing?"

Esme shrugs. "I wouldn't say it was for nothing." The hostess snaps a photo. "This is for... the official website. Yeah. That's it." The host scurries off, as the southerner blinks.

Jerome is shown in confessional. He says, "I suppose I overreacted, a little... I just didn't like the way everyone was staring at me." Jerome continues to look down. He lets out a sigh. "And I thought I was over feeling insecure about my appearance."

The guys are shown gathered at their second, official campfire ceremony. Esme sadly sighs. "As happy I am to see you wonderful guys, again, unfortunately it's with a heavy heart that I'm forced to announce who received the most eliminational votes."

"Eliminational?" Zane asks, as he walks by, carrying a tuba. "Is that even a word?" Esme glares after the lanky smart-aleck as he leaves the area.

"What was I saying?" the hostess ponders. "Oh, right. One of you beautiful human beings is being sent packing. Let's get on with the ceremony. I forgot to mention it last time, but the marshmallow represents life, for some unknown reason. The one of you that does not receive a marshmallow will need to leave the competition, sadly. Let's got on with it." Esme tosses out the first marshmallow. "Angelo, you're safe." Angelo catches his marshmallow, as Dirk rolls his eyes. "The next safe contestants are Anders, Cary, and... Luke."

"Thank ya, kindly, Miss Esme," Luke responds, as he catches his marshmallow.

Esme nods. "Next... are... LeVar, Skylar, and Dirk." Dirk tosses his arms in the air, and misses the marshmallow as it zooms past him. "That leaves Frederick, Jerome, and Brent." The guys nervously look at each other. "Frederick, you're safe." Frederick lets out a sigh of relief. He catches his marshmallow. "Now we're down to two; Brent and Jerome. The last marshmallow goes to..."

"Brent." The average Joe catches his marshmallow. "Unfortunately, that means Jerome is leaving us, today."

Jerome looks down. "I realize that I let you guys down, but I wish you would have given me a second chance."

"Sorry, bro," Dirk assures. "All that fussin' belongs on the girls' team. Am I right?" Dirk holds up a hand, expecting a high five from Frederick. He keeps his hand in the air for a few moments with no response.

"And now national television viewers saw me like this," Jerome points to his thinning hair.

"That?" Brent asks, scratching the back of his head. "I don't think anyone really noticed. I mean, it's not like it matters."

"That's right," Angelo assures. "There's a lot worse things that can happen to someone. You're still a suave guy."

"Yeah?" Jerome asks, looking up. Angelo gives a reassuring nod. Brent and Cary offer thumbs ups. "Thanks, guys. But I have to go."

Frederick holds out Jerome's hat. "I forgot to give this back to you."

Jerome takes his hat back from Frederick. "Thanks." He prepares to put it back on, and then hesitates. He holds the hat by his side, and heads toward the Boat of Losers.

Esme waves after the metrosexual. "Goodbye, Jerome." She turns to the camera. "That wraps up this episode of Total... Drama:... Worst of the Worst. Thanks for watching. I'm Esme, and I'll see you on our next episode."

#### Chapter 5 - Rapid Dash

"Welcome to another Total... Drama:... Worst of the Worst!" Esme introduces. "On our last episode, the girls went back to Boney Island, and were met by several traps set up by Hae Won, who they eliminated previously. The contestants also took part in... another series of duels, this time based on an athletic event of sorts. The guys lost, again, but, hey. At least they looked good doing it. Because he felt uncomfortable and insecure, Jerome left the guys hanging, as he walked away from the challenge. Needless to say, he was eliminated. We have more in store for episode five, so stay tuned for more."

Esme looks after Jerome as he leaves on the Boat of Losers. "There goes another potential..." She looks around at the members of the Testoster-pwns as they stare at her.

"Another potential what, Miss Esme?" Luke asks, his head tilted to the side.

"Never you mind," Esme responds, her face bright red. "As much as it pains me to say this, you are all dismissed."

"Alright," Cary responds. "It was our pleasure... Except for that whole elimination thing. That was really sad."

"Wait just one moment," Frederick interjects.

Esme asks, "What is it, Freddy-poo?"

"I stand by what I said earlier," Frederick insists.

"I'm sorry," Esme replies. "I don't quite recall what you said. I must have been distracted by your chiseled features."

"I request," Frederick begins. "No, I demand that you allow the female contestants to stay on this island."

Esme shakes her head. She insists, "There's no possible way. There's simply no room for them, here. So sorry."

Frederick folds his arms and looks to the side. "I suppose that leaves me with no choice." Frederick stands up.

"What do you mean?" Esme asks.

"I am catching the nearest Boat of Losers out of here," Frederick explains. "I no longer want anything to do with your program if you plan to treat the female contestants as anything less than an equal to us."

"Wait, wait," Esme insists, looking nervous. "Maybe we can reach some sort of an agreement. Like... maybe they can get some bottled water to bring with them." Esme snaps her fingers. "Zane! Get the ladies some bottled water."

Frederick shakes his head. "I refuse to compromise." Frederick begins to head to the dock. He pauses to turn toward Esme. "I suppose I was wrong about you. I thought you had compassion." Frederick turns to the dock, again.

"Wait!" Esme calls out. "You're wrong... I mean, your first assumption was right, but you're wrong, now." Esme scoffs. "My middle name is compassion."

Skylar scratches the back of his head. "Your parents must have quite the sense of humor."

"I'll let the girls know that they can live on this island, someplace," Esme assures. Zane walks up. "Where have you been?"

"I was..." Zane begins.

"Never mind," Esme says. "I just remembered that I don't care." Zane frowns. "Go tell the girls that they're moving to Total Drama Island." She looks at Frederick. "And hurry, before they head back to Boney Island." Zane nods, unbuttons the top button of his shirt, and struts off camera. Esme looks after Zane and shakes her head. "What a shameless flirt." The Testoster-pwns stare at Esme in disbelief. The hostess puts her hands together. "I hope you've decied to stay, Freddy-boo."

Frederick turns and nods. "Thank you."

"Great!" Esme responds. "I'll see you guys, tomorrow." Esme pokes Angelo on the nose before skipping away.

Skylar looks at Frederick. "Wow, Fred. That little display was pretty impressive."

"Was it ever!" Cary excitedly says.

Frederick responds, tilting his head upward, slightly. "I suppose I should thank you for the compliment." Frederick puts his arm around Cary's shoulders.

Brent suggests, "Despite all of that, I really think we need to head to bed. We need to remember that this is a competition, and if we want to win a challenge we really need our..."

"Oh, look! The girls are heading up to the cabins," Cary lets out. Most of the guys go up to welcome them to their now shared island.

Luke is shown in confessional with his hands behind his head. "Golly. Frederick is nicer than the mean girl at school the week before the prom queen vote. I was half expecting him to be lots different from the way he was portrayed on the T.V., besides all the nasty things that those tabloids say about him." Luke looks to the side, and then back at the camera. "I admit it. I read the tabloids, but only for the articles... And the 'who wore it best' articles. You know... I gotta stay hip to the jive, as the kids say."

"And... surprise," Brent says with a sigh, as he watches the others fade into the background. "They're gone."

Dirk scoffs. "Pssht. Not me. I could care less about the other team staying here. This is my island!"

"Er... Dirk... I don't think you can claim ownership of..."

"This is my island!" Dirk repeats, louder than the first time. Brent winces.

Brent concedes, "Fine... It's your island." Dirk smiles, looking rather smug. After a few moments of awkward silence, Brent says, "Do you..." Dirk walks away. Brent scratches the back of his head, and then shrugs his shoulders.

The next morning, Cary is shown among Frederick, Blair, Ruth, Zoe, Tamira, Grace, Quimberly, and Holly. Cary goes on, "You should have seen Frederick! He was a real advocate for equality! It was quite the sight to behold."

"Oh... stop..." Frederick responds, looking down, his face red. "You're too kind."

"Well, it looks like we have you to thank for getting off of that dreadful Boney Island," Grace states. Grace dramatically bows. "Thank you, kind sir."

"Oh, it was my pleasure," Frederick assures. "I really hate to see injustice in any form."

"Uh," Skylar says, as he walks up. "I hate to interrupt, but it appears that someone has stolen my hat... Have any of you seen..." Frederick pushes Skylar back by the face.

"I guess it looks like we're in your debt," Blair directs toward Frederick. "I couldn't even begin to describe the horrors on that island... The spiders, geese, plants, beavers, sharp rocks... Oh, and the booby traps... Nobody should have to live like that, but I guess I really shouldn't complain, since there are people in the world that have it way worse off than that." Frederick's expression seems glazed over. Blair blushes. "I must be boring you... Sorry about that."

"N-not at all," Frederick assures, glaring to the side.

Grace lets out a laugh and then snorts. Frederick winces. "Look at you, girl. Making a fool of yourself in front of this gentleman." Grace snorts, again. Frederick winces, again. Grace looks over at Cary, who waves. "And that guy, I guess."

"I don't mean to sound like a snob, or anything, but I can't stand the musings of the normal," Quimberly explains, before walking off.

Frederick looks after Quimberly with a frown. He then looks at the other remaining people and puts on a smile. "That scarf is lovely... Holly, was it?"

Holly looks down and puts her hand to the scarf. "This? Oh. I found it among some unclaimed luggage." Frederick blinks. Holly blushes and looks to the side. "What? It's perfectly legal... It's not like they came back looking for it, or anything." Frederick frowns, again.

Frederick turns to Ruth. "So..."

Ruth's eyes get wide. "Whoa." Ruth slaps herself across the face. "Inspiration just struck me. It was like..." Ruth makes a gesture similar to an explosion. "Would you care to model for me?"

Frederick blinks, and then smiles. "It would be my honor. I have a feeling that your art is something to marvel at."

Ruth nods. "Thanks. So we're going to need some motor oil, a lizard mask, two running chainsaws, and that sumo wrestling costume from yesterday."

Frederick left eyebrow goes up. He says, "On second thought, I think I'm going to pass..." Tamira begins to walk off. "Where are you headed off to?"

Tamira explains with an index finger extended, "A lady always knows when to leave a situation before a crazy person is inspired by them." Frederick laughs and smiles, as Tamira waves as she departs. Frederick waves back, as does Zoe. Frederick looks toward Zoe.

The chipper athlete insists, "I think it's super-dy dooper that you stuck up for us like that. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that it was super splenderific!" Frederick winces.

Frederick assures, "Uh... As enjoyable as it was to get to know each of you young ladies, a little bit better, I'm going to take my leave." Frederick slowly backs away, before heading off.

"He's nice," Zoe assures. Cary nods rapidly.

Patsy walks up, holding out her notepad. "So what were you all talking about, if you don't mind my asking."

"Nothing, really," Blair says with a shrug, looking to the side uncomfortably.

"Really?" Patsy asks. "But Frederick just left, looking particularly disgusted, and I thought there had to be some reason for it." The others blankly stare at Patsy.

"Uh," Grace says. "Skylar needed help finding his hat, I think." Grace points at the circus performer, who is lying face down on the ground.

Skylar quickly stands and nods. "Yeah. That's right."

Patsy grabs hold of Skylar's hand, and lifts her notepad in the air. "Let's go find your missing cat." She drags Skylar along as she walks off.

"Uh, it was my hat that went missing, actually," Skylar clarifies.

"I know that," Patsy replies, "but 'cat' reads better." Skylar nods, seemingly to agree with the statement.

LeVar is shown in confessional. "I gotta start thinking about alliances. I did plan to suggest an alliance with my milk chocolate bruthas, but unfortunately they got booted before that could happen. Hopefully, I can scrounge up somebody." LeVar shrugs his hefty shoulders. "I need my own Glinkon army to keep me safe... pardon my busting out in metaphor." LeVar looks to the side.

LeVar exists the confessional and notices Frederick walking past him. "Hey, homeslice. Where you headed off to in such a hurry? Mind if he hang out, a little."

Frederick turns and says, "I want to be alone... Besides, I didn't see you at breakfast. They were handing out juiceboxes. I figured you'd want in on the action, kid."

LeVar blinks. "I'm not a kid!" Frederick laughs and walks away. LeVar looks to the side and mutters. "Although, I could go for a juicebox right about, now..." LeVar looks to the left and then right, quickly. He turns around and walks into Yuko. "Oh, I didn't see you there. Let me help you up..." LeVar helps the observer to her feet. He frowns. "Oh, it's you. I can't just waste all my niceness on someone who isn't actually here..." LeVar looks to the side.

"As much as I'm enamored by your charm, I have to hurry after Frederick," Yuko explains. "I've had my eye on him, and know that he's the most interesting plot point at the moment."

"You can admit it," LeVar assures, as he closes his eyes. "You like him." LeVar smirks and opens his eyes, realizing that Yuko is gone. "Hey? Get back here! I'm way more interesting than Frederick. And with you gone, I'm just talking to myself like a crazy person..." LeVar looks back and forth, and then backs away.

Frederick walks along while looking down at the ground. "What are you doing way out here?" a female voice asks.

Frederick looks up to see Tamira. "Oh, it's you," the wealthy guy realizes. "I was only seeking refuge from your... less civilized team members."

"Now you're catching on," Tamira replies with a smirk. "I'm forced to live with them."

Frederick lets out a laugh. "I could tell when I first met you, that you had a taste for the finer things in life." Frederick puts a hand to Tamira's necklace. "Even though your financial circumstances don't exactly allow for the real thing."

Tamira blushes, and takes a step back. She replies, "One doesn't need a lot of money to look fabulous."

"No, but it helps," Frederick replies with a smirk. "But you're right. You manage to dress more refined than anyone else on the show."

"You're sweet," Tamira responds. Frederick smiles.

"So..." Frederick begins. "If you're not doing anything, I'd like to get to know you better. How about a walk?"

Tamira's face turns a little red. "Um, you seem like a nice guy, Frederick, but I happen to be engaged... to be married."

"Oh," Frederick replies. "I see. I suppose that's what the lugnut on your ring finger is for. It's... nice."

Tamira looks down at her plain engagement ring. "It doesn't matter to me that this is all Toby could afford. He loves me and that's all that matters."

Frederick looks down. "I could love you, too," he assures. Frederick reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rectangular box. "I brought this with me in case I met someone... special." Frederick hands the box to a reluctant Tamira. She opens the box and flinches at the sight of the sparkling piece of jewelry. "No matter what you decide, I want you to keep that. A beautiful girl like you, deserves to be adorned in something almost as beautiful."

"Frederick..." Tamira begins.

Frederick puts a finger to Tamira's lips and assures, "I've been looking for someone to share my life with... I know you have feelings for this... Toby, but I can make you happy. With me, you won't have to worry about your future."

Tamira looks down. "Frederick, I..."

Patsy walks up to Yuko who is quietly observing from the bushes, with a large smirk. Patsy says, "Hey! Yuko, right? What're you doing out here?"

Yuko glares at the spunky redhead. "Shhh!"

"Who are you looking at?" Patsy asks. She peers over the bushes. "Oh! That's Frederick and Tamira. What are they doing out there?" Patsy waves. "Hey! You guys! Yoohoo! Over here!" Tamira and Frederick look over at Patsy. "What's going on?" Tamira looks at Frederickm before rushing away.

"Tamira, wait!" Frederick calls out. After realizing that Tamira wasn't heading back, Frederick glares in Patsy's direction. He stomps off.

Patsy blink and says, "What's their problem?"

Yuko places a palm to her forehead. "Can't I go one season without someone like him?"

"Him who?" Patsy asks, her head tilted slightly to the side. Patsy pulls out her notepad. "Somebody from your past?" Yuko glares at Patsy. "Come on, give me a hint. A good girl detective can't figure anything out without some clues." Yuko walks off with a grunt. Patsy blinks.

Esme jumps out from the bushes. "There you guys are!" She pauses to examine the surprised girls in front of her. "Wait, you're not Angelo and Luke." Esme looks down to the side. "That means that LeVar lied to me." Esme shrugs. "I forgive him." The hostess begins to walk away. "Oh, I suppose I should let you two know that the challenge is ready to start. You can show up if you feel like it, no big." Esme continues walking. She pauses. "Oh. I should also mention that not showing up constitutes as automatic disqualification." Esme skips off. Patsy blinks as she looks over at Yuko.

"I bet even you didn't expect all of that," Patsy states.

"As a matter of fact, I did," Yuko insists. "But it was still a shock." Patsy shrugs, and then nods.

Patsy and Yuko arrive for the challenge, as Esme snaps her fingers, uncrosses her fingers. "Looks like everybody's here. Alright, so... the challenge." Esme thinks for a while as the contestants star at her. Esme sticks a finger in the air. "You'll each be involved in a duel that..."

"Another duel?" Isabella asks, as she signs, as well, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," Esme replies, her head tilted to the side, and her brow furrowed. "What's wrong with duels?"

"Only that the last two challenges were duel based," Quimberly explains.

"Despite Quimberly's eloquent explanation," Esme begins, "I still don't see anything wrong with duel challenges. We'll do it, anyway." Esme points toward the sky.

"Aw, man," Anders says, as he kicks at the ground. "We lost the other two duel challenges."

Esme's eyes get wide. "On second thought... Duel challenges are stupid. Let's do something else."

"Like, what, ma'am?" Luke asks.

"Like..." Esme begins, as she attempts to think up an idea. "I've got it! How about a life raft race on the Boney Island rapids?"

"B-Boney Island?" Blair asks. "You mean, we have to go back there?"

"Well, if it brings up too much trauma, I guess I could spare your feelings, and..." Esme begins.

"That challenge actually sounds... like a challenge," Quimberly says, with a smirk.

"If Quimberly is for it," Isabella says and signs, "you can count me in!"

Cary nudges Brent's arm. "What do you think we should do?"

"Me?" Brent asks. He looks down. "I don't know if it sounds like such a great idea."

LeVar looks at Brent. He then turns to Angelo. "What does our official unofficial leader have to say?"

"Me?" Angelo asks. All eyes point to Angelo, partly to look for his guidance. "I... I guess it should be fine, as long as everyone properly wears a life jacket... and plenty of protective padding."

"If Angelo says so," Skylar assures, "I'm totally fine with the challenge."

Luke slaps Angelo on the back. "This is what our team was lacking. Woo, doggie. We gots ourselves a leader."

Dirk points at Luke and asks Skylar, "Did he always talk like that?" Skylar shrugs.

Esme is shown at the beach with the contestants prepared to start the challenge. Frederick waves toward Tamira. She looks at him, and proceeds to look away, quickly. Frederick looks to the left with a frown. "Okay, people. You will all start here, on Total Drama Island. Go toward Boney Island, and then traversing the dangerously rigid rocks and man-eating plants and animals among the rapids, return here. The first team to do so wins invincibility. Any questions?"

"Yes," Zoe asks. "What exactly does 'traversing' mean?" Several wide eyed contestants glance at Zoe.

"That's what you picked out of that sentence that concerned you?" Grace asks with a raised eyebrow.

Esme shrugs. "I think that's everything. You all have your life preservers, rafting gear, and you've all signed the waivers... Right, Zane?" Zane takes the final waiver from Holly, looks at it, and nods. "So we're good. I'll be on the beach sipping from a coconut. Good luck!"

"Wait, that's it?" Skylar asks. "What happened to your undying love for all things male?"

"Oh," Esme responds. "Don't get me wrong. I'll be hoping for the best for you guys. Plus, this little test will prove which one of you is man enough to survive in order to return to me, proving your undying love." Esme puts both hands to her heart, and softly sighs.

"Wait just one second, now," Luke replies. He holds up one finger and narrows his eyes. "I must be hearing things. Did you say only one of us is gonna survive?"

"Uh, that's not important now," Esme nervously responds.

"I'm sorry, Miss Esme," Luke assures. "But I'm beggin' to differ." Esme blankly stares at Luke. "Well? Have anything to say in rebuttalin'?"

"Yes," Zoe replies. "What do you mean by 'rebuttlin'?"

Luke briefly looks at Zoe. "Beg my pardon, Miss Zoe, but I was directing my lil' query to our female host." Luke now turns his attention toward Esme. "Now, Miss Esme. As I was sayin'..."

"Go!" Esme shouts.

"But I..." Luke responds while blinking, his team members begin to row their lifeboat, without Luke, who ends up reluctantly joining in. The female team, who got an earlier start, due to Luke's initial reluctance, stays ahead of the Testoster-pwns.

"Good going, Luke," LeVar groans.

"Yeah," Anders agrees with a smile.

"I was being sarcastic," LeVar explains, sounding fairly annoyed.

"Oh," Anders responds. "I... knew that, and I also agree with!"

"Um, okay," LeVar replies, with one eyebrow raised.

Cary looks ahead at the girl team. "C'mon, guys! We can still catch up, if we just believe in ourselves!"

"We would be winnin', if Luke wasn't a scaredy baby," Dirk insists. Dirk turns to the country boy. "You're not really afraid of sharp rocks and namby pamby, man-eating plants and stuff, are you?"

"Yes'sum," Luke replies.

"Well, if we lose this challenge..." Dirk replies.

"Don't finish that sentence!" Skylar shouts. "Nothing good comes from making a statement about the outcome of a challenge ahead of time."

"But I..." Dirk begins.

"Uh-uh," Skylar responds.

Dirk replies, "But we..."

"No, no, dude," Skylar insists. "Uh-uh." DIrk folds his arms and glares to the side.

On the girls' raft, Blair is looking back. "The guys are catching up. How is that happening?" Blair looks over at Quimberly, who has her arms extended behind her head, as she leans back. "Ack... What are you..." Blair's face turns red. "Never mind."

Blair is shown in confessional. "I don't know what I was thinking. I almost questioned Quimberly. I hope the universe can forgive me, and..." Blair pauses, and blushes. "That's all."

Grace looks over at Quimberly. "Girl? You crazy, or somethin'?"

"What was that?" Quimberly asks, with one eyebrow raised.

"Uh, I mean," Grace responds. She tries to think of a way to rephrase her statement. Grace squintes her eyes. "Surely we would win this challenge, for sure, if your excellncy were to actually... help in the challenge?"

"Hm," Quimberly responds.

"I think I have to agree with Grace, here," Holly insists. "Not that I don't have the utmost respect for you as a human being."

"Fine," Quimberly responds. "If you all think that's for the best, then I have no choice, do I?" Quimberly prepares to help row the raft.

"We're saved!" Ruth exclaims with a huge smile.

On the guys' raft, Angelo calls out, "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!"

"Why does he keep repeating himself?" Anders asks, the confusion evident in his voice.

"I dunno," Dirk replies. Dirk's eyes get large. "Maybe he's having a stroke! Quick! Somebody give him mouth to mouth!"

"I'll do it!" Skylar quickly volunteers. He gets several stares. "I mean... If nobody else wants to..."

"Guys, I'm fine," Angelo states. Several guys nod in order to agree. "I just thought that if I was appointed as the unofficial official team leader..." Dirk rolls his eyes. "I should, you know... Lead with the rowing."

"Oh, so that's what you meant by 'stroke'," Dirk says while putting his hand to his forehead. Several other guys nod as they look at each other.

"Alright guys, let's listen to the Angelo-ster," Cary says with a nod. "Let's give it our best." Most of the others agree. Anders begins to row with more effort. He thrusts the oar so rpidly as he paddles that it emerges from the water, to hit Cary in the stomach. Cary winces. "That's some power, Anders!" Anders strokes, again, hitting Cary a second time. Cary hunches over. "N-nice work, buddy! I can feel the effort..." Cary is hit, again. "The... passion for the challenge is giving me wonderful feelings of..." Cary gets hit, once more. The optimistic guy winces. "Excruciating... pain..."

"Hey!" Dirk shouts. "How come the girls are pulling ahead? This is going against every rule that Big Poppa Nature has set forth."

"You mean Mother Nature?" LeVar asks with a raised eyebrow. Dirk folds his arms and glares to the side.

"In answer to your question," Luke expalins, "I reckon it looks like Quimberly is putting forth...a little bit of effort. I reckon that'n be why the girls are pulling ahead."

"Could be," Brent replies. "Or it could be the woolly beaver grabbing hold of the side of our raft." The guys look at the abnormal animal.

"I vote for a combination of both," Angelo insists. "Quick, Anders. Gently assist the misguided creature away from our vessel." Anders nods. He proceeds to jab Cary in the stomach, before thrusting the oar at the beaver. The woolly beaver flies out into the sunset, with a sparkle.

LeVar looks to the side. "Woolly beaver blasting off, again..."

Skylar blinks. "Why did you just say that?"

"I... just had to," LeVar responds. Frederick looks up for a moment, still with a sullen expression. He continues to paddle halfheartedly, after he looks down, again.

On the Estro-generation's raft, Holly cheers, "We're adding to our lead, all thanks to Quimberly! Three cheers! Hip, hip, hurray!"

Grace momentarily looks at Holly. "We're not doing that." Holly frowns.

Zoe looks back and exclaims, "Haha! We're leaving the guys in the water dust! Even though, they seem to be doing good, too... Why is Anders repeatedly hitting Cary in the gut?"

"Must be part of their 'winning' strategy," Grace assures. "I can't believe we're so far ahead of them." Grace looks as the guys catch up. "Now I can't believe they're passing us... They're passing us? Woe is us!" Grace has the back of her hand against her forehead. "How is that even possible?"

"It looks like we're going in circles," Ruth answers, as she looks at the water. "I'm pretty certain, since circles are my third favorite shape to use in art."

"Hm, what are your first two favorites?" Blair asks, tilting her head to the side.

"You... cannot... be... for real," Grace responds. "There's no time for that. We need to figure out what's going wrong and remedy it." Blair frowns and looks down.

Patsy looks around the raft. "Eureka! I have discovered the issue."

"What is it?" Isabella asks, after reading Patsy's lips.

"Hold on, hold on," Patsy insists. "A good detective gives a long explanation, instead of a short and to the one. It builds up suspense."

"We don't have much time, woman!" Grace shouts. "The guys are going to win!"

"Okay, okay," Patsy replies. "Cool your jets. Now, we were ahead of the guys before Quimberly started helping us, right?" Several of the others nod. "So Quimberly's efforts should be helping us, but... I can't say it..."

"It's alright," Quimberly assures, as she gives Patsy permission to explain.

"Her sheer amazingness is throwing us off balance, because of her awe inspiring talent and power," Patsy concludes.

"Ah," Holly sighs. "That's how it's possible to go in circles on rapids that quickly flow in one direction."

"So what do we do?" Zoe asks. "Quimberly?"

"Hey," Quimberly replies. "It wasn't my idea to take part in the rowing."

"She expresses herself so well," Ruth expresses, with a sigh. The others nod.

"I guess the only way we can win this challenge is if Quimberly stops exerting herself," PAtsy suggests. The others nod.

"Thanks for your help, Quimberly," Zoe assures. "But... we're going to have to stop rowing... You're just too awesome." Quimberly shrugs, and lies back.

"Hopefully, it's enough to overtake the guys," Holly says.

"We got this!" Dirk shouts, as the Testoster-pwns remain in the lead. "There's no way we're losing this challenge!"

"Dude, keep it down!" Skylar exclaims. "You're feeding the editors the fuel they need to make it look like we're going to win. Then, when nobody expects it, besides people who've seen a reality show, bam! We lose!"

"Lots of negative energy coming from that direction," Dirk says as he points at Skylar.

"What? I'm no negative..." Skylar insists.

Cary says, "Come on, fellas. Let's keep the positivity flowing. We're gonna win! We're gonna win!"

"Stop saying that!" Skylar shouts. "You're gonna jynx it!" The raft suddenly comes to a complete stop. "See! Look what you guys did."

"What just happened?" Frederick asks as he decides to look up.

Brent looks to the side, and then nudges Angelo's arm. Angelo looks in the direction that Brent is pointing. "I see," Angelo says.

"What is it, sir?" Luke asks.

Angelo explains, "Remember those dangerously sharp rocks Esme was talking about?"

"Yes'sum," Luke answers.

"Well... it looks like we're caught on one," Angelo further explains, as he points at the huge rock hindering their progress.

"Whoa," Skylar says. "I didn't even notice that. Good eye, Angelo."

Angelo looks over at Brent, who looks down, slightly. "If anyone should get credit, it's..."

"Hey!" Dirk interrupts. "The girls are catching up. We can't lose to them!"

"Uh, it would be perfectly fine if we were to lose to them," Skylar assures. "It would really not be any indication of our inferiority, nor their superiority. Girls and guys are perfectly capable of playing on a level field." Dirk stares at Skylar.

"He's one of them," Dirk concludes. Skylar raises an eyebrow before shaking his head.

"Is there anything we can do?" LeVar asks Angelo. "Even if we get loose, this rubber raft is just going to sink."

"We're almost there, too," Angelo states, as he tries to think of a solution.

"I reckon I've got an idea," Luke states. He points toward another nearby rock. "If we manage to paddle toward that there rock..."

The girls' team paddles past the guys. "We did it! We're home free!" Zoe claps her hands. "We worked as a team, and limited Quimberly's advanced skills!"

"What are those crazy fools up to?" Grace asks, as she looks back at the other team. "It's like they're trying to paddle to the side."

"I guess they're stuck, and trying to get free," Patsy observes. Yuko looks at the guys, and smirks. Once the Testoster-pwns reach the second rock, they lodge their raft between a crack in it. They then proceed to paddle with all their strength in the opposite direction

"I was right," Grace insists. "They really are some crazy, mixed up foolios."

"They must be up to something," Holly assures.

They guys stretch out their raft to its capacity. Luke shouts, "Okay, now! Everyone stop!" The guys stop paddling, and their raft, unable to stay in its position on its own, launches in the right direction, coming free from the rocks, and flinging forward at an impressive speed. The guys' team catapults beyond the other team, and lands on the finish line, each guy scattered on the beach in some peculiar position.

Esme excitedly leaps in the air as the Estro-generation reaches the shore. "The Dream Boys win invincibility! Excellent work!"

"Well... you know," LeVar lets out, before collapsing back onto the beach.

"The... Female Team will need to head to their second campfire ceremony," Esme explains. "I'm sorry girls, that's just the way the cookie crumbles."

"Ooh," Blair says. "So there's going to be cookies?" Esme rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"We better get ready to go," Zoe says with a sigh. The girls walk off.

Angelo is shown approaching Luke, who is on teh ground and has a tree trunk on his torso. Angelo quickly removes the tree, and extends a hand to the southerner. "Nice job, Luke," Angelo assures. "You're a real commodity to this team."

Luke blushes as he takes Angelo's hand, and is helped to his feet. "Shucks. It was nothin'. I'm sure somebody else would have had the idea to, given a minute."

Angelo pats Luke on the arm. "Give yourself a little credit. You deserve that much." Angelo looks back. "Looks like Dirk is stuck in a tree. If I don't help him, I'm afraid no one will." Angelo rushes to Dirk's aid. Luke looks on and rubs the back of his head as he watches Angelo try to help Dirk, as Dirk shouts in protest.

Patsy is shown in confessional. "Looks like we need to send another person packing. We also have a couple of options. Blair is a little bit of a liability. I have no idea where Tamira's head is at. And Holly? Well... she is Missy's sister, after all. Besides that whole 'villain' thing, she did win on an All-Star season. It hardly seems fair for two sisters to win a season. Besides, she does have a tendency to eat kookoo person berries. As for Quimberly..." Patsy blushes. "Never mind. I dare not utter it..."

At the elimination ceremony, Esme quickly hands out marshmallows to Grace, Isabella, Patsy, and Yuko. She then hands one to Zoe, one to Ruth, one to Blair, and one to Holly. Quimberly looks at Esme with wide eyes, as Tamira looks to the side. Esme explains, "I'm sorry, ladies. There's only one marshmallow left, and two of you. Either Tamira or Quimberly is going to leave us, tonight." Esme dramatically clears her throat. "The final marshmallow is for..."

"Quimberly." Esme hands the marshmallow to Quimberly.

Tamira quickly stands up, and heads to the Boat of Losers. She momentarily looks back, before getting onto the Boat of Losers. Holly says, "Tamira wasn't so bad... I mean, we had a tiny conflict on our season, but I didn't want to see her go like this."

"Hey, it was her choice," Grace reminds.

"I wonder why she wanted to leave, so badly," Ruth mentions. Patsy smiles wide. "Do you know something we don't?"

Patsy looks to the side. "Oh... I guess you could say that she had an inner conflict, torn between two lovers, from totally opposite worlds. Toby, the easy going blue collar worker without a dime to his name, and Frederick, the wealthy dream guy who could offer her all that she thought she desired in the way of riches."

"What?" Zoe asks. "No way!"

Patsy nods rapidly. "You think I could make this stuff up?" Yuko puts a hand to her face.

Blair points to Tamira's stump. "Hey, she left something behind." Blair picks up the rectangular box, and opens it. Her eyes widen at the glimmering piece of jewelry before her. "Hey, if she left this behind... You don't think she'd mind if I borrowed it, for a while?"

"I don't know," Holly responds. "It seems to be a moral decision, that I don't think you'd be willing to..." Blair already has the beautiful necklace around her neck, as Holly blankly looks at her.

Esme says to the camera, "That ends one more Total... Drama:... Worst of the Worst. Thanks for watching, and we'll see you next time."

### Trivia

* While credit goes to TDIwriter for the majority of plots, there are some that I have not shared with him, and some I thought of that he helped me expand on. TDIwriter also had an effect on the final cast and does not know the elimination order, as well.
* 'Total Drama: Worst of the Worst' as a title is a reference to one of Sprinklemist's other all-star stories, Total Drama: Best of the Best.