Lust and Fisticuffs

Lust and Fisticuffs is the third special of the Bean Cafe Cinema Special series. The special is the Valentine's Day Special for Battle Heroes X and Support Box. The special has a separate plot for both series involved, a first in the Cinema Special.

## The Episode

At the EZ-Rent store, the Cashier stood at the counter, keeping a vigilant watch over everything. Ever since that Cory the Poor Chicken character started stealing from the store, he had to keep his guard up. That’s what the franchise owner had said to him at the monthly employee meeting.

“Ralph...you, are my number one guy.”

He wasn’t going to let the boss down. That’s why he had some special upgrades made to the store to prevent theft.

As if volunteering to be the pilot for this project, Cory the Poor Chicken strolled into the store and headed straight for the animated movies section. It didn’t take long for him to find what he was looking for: the Bean Cafe Valentine’s Day Special! He brought it to the cashier, who looked like he was in a good mood today.

The cashier scanned the film. “$3.64.”

$3.64?! Why would he pay that price when he could get it for free! Time to apply the five finger...feather discounter! He snatched the video and ran out of the store. Expecting exactly that move, the cashier reached under the counter and pulled out a tablet with a list of every movie in the store. A green mark was attached to all but one and the cashier clicked on the name. After 2 seconds, Cory was electrocuted and he fell down right at the door. As soon as he got up, he looked at the cashier with wild eyes.

The cashier laughed. “Yeah, that’s right! Security, baby! You’re never gonna steal another video from this store again!”

Cory bucawked and ran out, collapsing on the sidewalk outside the store and catching his breath.

“Holy...how?!” The cashier had thwarted his theft! But how? HOW?!?!

"There's an electric field surrounding the store. If you step out without paying, you get shocked."

Cory turned around and locked eyes with a girl wearing an olive colored trench coat.

"I assume you were trying to steal from the store?" She asked.

"W-what? What are you talking about?"

"I've been staking this place out for a while. Seems like every time you're in there, you've got a video stashed on you." She extended her hand. "Vanessa, Vanessa Michaels."

Cory extended his wing and they shook. "The Poor Chicken, Cory the Poor Chicken."

"This complicates everything. When did they install security?"

"No clue, but it's gonna make the Bean Cafe Valentine's Day Special really hard to snag."

"Funny, because that was the exact movie I was going to steal myself."

"Hey, you have good taste! What do you say that we team up and nab the video together?"

"Usually, I steal alone, but there's something about you..." She smiled slightly.

"Is it because I'm a chicken?"

Later, Cory and Vanessa entered the video store. The cashier watched them like a hawk.

"Better not try anything, or you're gonna end up smelling like a bucket of the colonel's crispy."

Cory ignored him and went back into the section where he found the Valentine's Special. "You ready, Vanessa?" He asked his accomplice, who nodded quickly. He took the video off the shelf and made a beeline for the door. Behind him, Vanessa reached for another movie and backed up towards the door, watching the cashier chuckled and reached for the buttons to electrocute the duo.

"Now!" She yelled at Cory. Cory dropped the movie and Vanessa tossed her movie at the Cashier, just as he pressed the button. The Cashier was electrocuted, along with the tablet that controlled the electrocutions.

"SODNIFNQJWNBFHEBIEBFj" The Cashier spat out as he was electrocuted.

"What's that?" Cory said patronizingly. "You'll let us take the Valentine's Day special for free?

"DBNUFBJOFWBEIGFBEWGI"

"*And* you'll let us take some snacks for free? Cashier, you shouldn't have!" Cory ran to the front of the store and took a handful of snacks. "Want anything?"

"A bag of those cheddar cheese potato chips!" She replied. "Grab it and let's make a getaway!"

Cory grabbed the chips and ran out of the store with Vanessa. The tablet's screen broke and it short-circuited, shutting down the electrocution system. The cashier stood there for a few seconds and groaned before falling down on the ground like a tree that had just been chopped.

Vanessa took out some keys from her pocket and unlocked a red car. "Get in!" Cory got in and the two escape, driving away from the store. "Nice work back there, Cory! That was impressive! I don't think I've seen anyone handle themselves back there like you did!"

"Yeah, these treats cost like $3 a bag, but we got 'em for free!" The thief celebrated happily. Vanessa chuckled and two kept on driving. Soon, they arrived at the female thief's apartment. She let them in and they ascended the stairs to her place and she opened the door. "Make yourself at home, Cory! I'm gonna change into something a little more...casual."

"Cool, cool, I'm gonna put the movie in!" Cory had a seat on the couch and relaxed while Vanessa went into a room. When she came out, she was wearing a black crop top and shorts. She walked into the kitchen and came out with a liter of soda and two cups. "After a day's work, it feels good to kick back, don't you think?"

Cory was busy watching the TV intently. "Yeah, yeah, that's cool and everything..."

Vanessa sat on the couch next to him. "Y'know, this reminds me of one of my first jobs. My boyfriend and I were at a video store, like this one, picking up a Valentine's Day movie...like this one..."

"Hey, what a coincidence! Where's your boyfriend, maybe he can watch with us!" Cory asked.

"He's doing 20 years for attempting to rob a...a...couch store. I told him that upscaling would be too dangerous, but he wouldn't listen to me! It's been hard, trying to continue alone. But when we were working back there, it felt like old times..." Vanessa looked at Cory intensely. Cory glanced at her and noticed her staring. She closed her eyes and slowly leaned towards him.

"Hey, look, the special's starting!" Cory said, interrupting her. She opened her eyes and looked at the TV. "Oh...oh, yeah!"

...

*HEY EVERYONE! WELCOME TO THE SUPPORT BOX VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL!! THE SHOW WHERE WE TALK ABOUT SUPPORT BOX!*

*AND VALENTINES DAY!*

*LETS GET STARTED! HOW'RE YOU DOING SUPPORT BOX?*

**DOIN GOOD QUESTION BOX**

*TODAYS TOPIC IS SOMETHING THATS ON EVERYONE'S MINDS*

**ITS EVERYWHERE! WE ALL TALK ABOUT IT AND THINK ABOUT IT**

*THE MEDIA OVER EXAGGERATES IT us included*

**ITS SEX!**

*AND TODAY WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST WHO DOES NOTHING BUT IT! GIVE IT UP FOR KING DINGALING!!*

Hey guys, glad to be here!

**TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF KING**

Please. Call me Dingaling. I've learned everything there is to know about sex. To the point where I've reached sexual enlightenment. I've traveled the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something, and what I'm looking for is some ass! I dedicated my life to mastering the art.

*SOUNDS NEAT. WHERE HAVE YOUR TRAVELS TAKEN YOU?*

Let's just say that I've been from Egypt to France tryna gets into people's pants, Question Box. I got shlong in Hong Kong and ate booty in Djibouti. Along the way, I met a lot of people and clapped a lot of cheeks. I knew this one guy who could snap his dick in 8 different directions! Shit looked like the analogue stick on a PS4!

(support box and question box are speechless)

**JESUS CHRIST THAT SOUNDS PAINFUL**

It really isn't! Here lemme show you!

(king dingaling starts to unzip his pants)

**NO NO WE BELIEVE YOU!!**

*HOW ABOUT YOU TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU REACHED SEXUAL ENLIGHTENMENT*

Oh, okay! I went to an ancient monastery in Tibet to learn from Master Hung Lo. He's basically the one who MADE King Dingaling who he is today. Only the strongest with dick could learn from Master Hung Lo. There were 69 of us when we started, but only 2 of us remained in the end. I...I lost a lot of good friends during the trials. But you know what they say...if you can't catch the balls, THEN YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LEAGUE HAAHAHAHA!!

(the audience laughed and cheered)

*WHAT KIND OF CHALLENGES DID YOU FACE?*

Well for one, we had to face each other in sword fights.

**please be the kind of sword fights with swords please be the kind of sword fights with swords**

Basically, we fought each other with our fully erect--

**OKAY I THINK ITS TIME FOR A BREAK!! WE'LL BE BACK IN A BIT**

*STAY TUNED, BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA BE PLAYING SOME GAMES WITH OUR GUEST!*

ooh, can we play who licked me?

**NOT THOSE KINDS OF GAMES!!**

...

*AND WELCOME BACK TO SUPPORT BOX*

...so I got titty in one hand, titty in the other, and she's riding my \*REDACTED\* like its about to pump her \*REDACTED\* full of daddys acceptance!

**dingaling i feel like that story is gonna get me in trouble with the feds**

I have other stories! Like the one time I almost found love! Funnily enough, it was with another student at Hung Lo's monastery. But I was dedicated to the fucking game, and I had to focus on my training. Ever since them, I haven't felt the same, people only love me for my dick.

**YEAH WELL NOT US DINGALING, WE THINK YOURE PRETTY SMART**

Thanks guys. I think we're really starting to bond around here...

*UH COOL*

Have you two ever...y'know, done it?

**YOU KIDDING ME? OF COURSE I DO IT! I DO IT ALL THE TIME MAN HAHAHAHAHAHA question box what is he talking about**

*i think hes talking about sex boss*

You know, I've gotten freaky with a lot of people and things, but ive never done it with a box....

**oh boy**

...

(support box and question box are offstage during a commercial break)

*wow boss, this dingaling guy sure is a riot, huh?*

**question box im just gonna say whats on both our minds. if we dont do something about him, hes gonna have sex with us ON LIVE TELEVISION**

*but sex sells, right?*

**yeah, but our ratings are high enough. unless you think butt sex would somehow generate a 6th star rating**

*uh...*

**DONT ANSWER THAT, LETS GO QUESTION BOX**

*but where are we going, boss?*

**to the one bull who can help us out**

*who's gonna run the show while we're gone?*

**AND NOW FOR OUR SECOND SPECIAL GUEST, DR. BJ HARDICK!! GIVE THE AUDIENCE SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT SEX!**

heyy guys, did you know that the male pleasure center is the prostate? and to think there are people out there who say that being gay is a sin

(the audience oohs and aahs as support box and question box sneak offset)

...

(support box and question box are sitting on one side of a glass screen)

*how do you feel about seeing your jail friend again, boss?*

**HES NOT MY FRIEND OR MY ANYTHING QUESTION BOX! HES A SICK FUCK WHO TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!!**

*least he bought you a drink first*

**NOT NOW QUESTION BOX**

(officer benny and four other guards enter the room on the other side, a chained up bull in tow)

support box baby, you came to visit me in prison❤!

i knew our bond would be eternal❤

**YOU LISTEN HERE YOU--**

(question box nudges support box, who shudders)

**hey, bullo! hows my favorite bull doing?**

im doing okay, daddy❤

ive been holding out for you, this booty is yours and yours alone❤

(bullo turns around and exposes his rear, revealing a crudely draw tattoo of support box)

*remember what we're here for, boss*

**yeah yeah question box**

**oh yeah...thats daddys ass alright. i cant wait to get...all up in that when you're free. when do you get out again?**

after all my original crimes, breaking out of jail, ive got 40 more years to go❤

but itll all be worth it just to be with you, baby❤

(bullo presses his lips on the glass and licks it all over)

**well...what if i told you that i wanted to get nasty with you RIGHT NOW?**

(bullos eyes widen and he rears his head back, thrusting it forward to break through the glass barrier with ease. the guards are paralyzed with fear)

now lets get freaky, baby❤

we have about 1 minute before more guards come and we'll be torn apart again❤

**we can't have sex here, bullo! we need to go back to the studio and do it live for the world to see!**

oooh i cant wait for you to flood these bovine walls with your juices❤

**LETS GO PEOPLE**

(bullo bends down and support box and question box hop on his back. he then charges out of the Fronku City penitentiary and into the streets.)

...

(back on the set of support box, the audience is clearly bored of all the fun facts)

and did you know that the sex toy market is completely unregulated? yup anyone can come off the streets and start selling whatever toys they want!

dr. hardick pulls out a large metal drill from his pocket

this little number right here is the fecal fury ass blaster 3000! its banned in over 50 countries! guaranteed to leave you in a wheelchair, or your money back!

just 3 easy payments of $150 and it's yours!

(support box and question box return to the set and the audience starts clapping and cheering)

*yeah thanks for substituting for us, bj*

**BUT WE'RE BACK! YOU CAN GO HOME NOW!**

hey come on guys, can i stick around? i got like 100 of these in my car i need to sell

**GO HOCK YOUR MINING EQUIPMENT ELSEWHERE! NOW WHERE THE HELL IS DINGALING?!**

Right behind you!

(support box and question box turn around and see king dingaling in nothing but a pair of oversized XXXXXXL underwear)

Like my underwear?

*what do you need all those extra Xs for?*

(dingaling squats down and beings humming)

**what the hell is this, a musical number?**

(dingalings underwear begin growing in length, until even his oversized underwear is torn off, revealing a big black censor bar. the entire audience goes wild. some hoot and holler at the sight. other just faint at the thougth of the 3 yard punisher)

**question box WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT**

*its a...penis, boss*

**BUT WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT, DONT THEY CENSOR IT IN POST PRODUCTION?!**

My penis is so powerful, that it's censored by God himself!

y'know you should probably get that checked, i have the perfect ointment fo

(dingaling swings his hips and bats dr. hardick out of the studio ceiling like a home run)

Enough talk. It's time to claim my prize.

(he advances on support box and question box)

**DINGALING THINK ABOUT THIS! THERES NO WAY THAT'S GONNA FIT IN ME**

*thats what she said!*

**i walked into that one huh I MEAN SHUT UP QUESTION BOX YOURE NOT HELPING! BULLOOOOOO ITS SHOWTIME!**

(nothing happens)

**BULLO YOU STUPID BIG HORNED FUCK GET OVER HERE AND SAVE ME!!**

mmmphf sorry baby i was eating those chocolates you catered for the show to get in the mood! chocolate is a is chocolate an aphrodisiac you know❤

**THATS NICE AND ALL BUT SOMEONE ELSE IS ABOUT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME BEFORE YOU!**

(dingaling turns around and locks eyes with bullo)

No...not you again! Here, of all places?!

heeeeeeeeeey dingaling we meet again boo❤

*you two know each other?*

Yes. We were both students who trained under Master Hung Lo. He was the only other student to survive our harsh training. But he went by another name then. Didn't you, I'll think of something uhh idk

*man, i'm really loving the lore here, guys! we should have another interview with you two! y'know, without the fear of getting our poo holes plugged!*

Before I take the boxes, I suppose we should finish our business. This time, it won't be a draw.

(dingaling got into a kungfu stance, swinging his dick and clotheslining a few fleeing audience members in the process.)

(bullo pawed the ground and prepared to charge. with lightning speed, the two rivals charged at each other. at the last second, bullo turned around and aimed his butt at dingaling's crotch, instantly taking it inside his body)

*holy shit...he's taking it all in? there's no way he can fit it all in!*

(bullo kept on going, his miraculously retaining its shape as he swallowed up foot after foot of dingaling's dingaling. finally, all 9 feet were inside bullo. dingaling's eyes widened.)

Bullo...you've improved since we last met...

you know it boo❤

D-don't do this to me. Please.

you tried to take my support box, i have to do this❤

WAIT WAIT NO PLEASE

bullo began to squeeze his body, sweat forming all over his body. eventually, a sickening snap could be heard. dingaling screamed in horror

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH MY DICK YOU CRUSHED MY DICK!!

the sexual deviant stumbled to the ground as the long censor bar that was his cock retracts until it is regular sized

**YEAH THATS HOW WE DO IT ON SUPPORT BOX! YOU DONT FUCK SUPPORT BOX, SUPPORT BOX FUCKS YOU! not in a sexual way though, more like you just get messed up.**

i think its in a sexual for sure, baby❤

(bullo begins preening himself all sexy like)

time to get it on, this gorilla grip booty is ready❤

**OH FUCK, UH BULLO IM FEELING KIND OF TIRED, CAN WE TAKE A RAIN CHECK ON THIS?**

oh no baby my ass is perfectly lubed from all that blood from dingaling❤

**QUESTION BOX GET THIS SICK FUCK OUT OF HERE!!**

(the tv host began running away from bullo, who gave chase ass first)

come on pack my booty like a box of chocolates daddy❤

**STOP CALLING ME THAT**

*WELL FOLKS, THATS IT FOR THE SUPPORT BOX VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL*

*A VERY MERRY VALENTINES DAY TO YOU AND YOURS*

*SEE YOU LATER, SAME TIME, SAME CHANNEL!*