Episode 67

"*Rudolph the big dick reindeer had a very massive cock, and if you ever saw it, you would probably die of shock. All of the male reindeer, they hated fuckin' Rudolph's guts, 'cause he was always balls deep in all the fuckin' reindeer sluts. Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say 'Rudolph, with your cock so large, I think you should be in charge.*"
—TJ attempting to arouse TBR.
**Episode 67** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features the fourth appearance of the Bible Reloaded.

## Videos Played

1. A Special Thank You To The Drunken Peasants
2. A Mexican's Response To TJ on TVC (can't find)
3. Hatin' Ass Laffy Taffy Hoes
4. The Presidential Horse Pucky Dance
5. Credit Card Debt is Satanic !!! Watch This to Get Out of Satanic Credit Card Debt!
6. Gail's Men All Lost Their Penises - Jesuit Malware at Church of Gail
7. Crazy feminist accusing US Postal Service man of stalking her
8. Why We Should Believe Rape Victims
9. HORRIBLE! Missouri School PUNISHES 8-Year Old BLIND Boy By Replacing His CANE With Pool TOY!!
10. EZ Cracker
11. 3 Way Poncho - As Seen on TV
12. Bug-A-Salt
13. I Wanna Fuck You In the Ass
14. Big Mouth Masks

## Start of the Show

The show starts with shilling, as always. After the show starts, TJ gets so caught up in his reindeer games and dreaming of big cocks, that he forgets about the guests. TJ proceeds to abuse Hugo. Then, Ben receives a Dear John letter from Scotty. In an attempt to hide Ben's heartbreak and humiliation from the public, TJ says that Scotty was tragically killed by a velociraptor. Which is pretty bad ass.

Ben then plays a scottytastic "Hey Scotty" video, followed by a Drunken Peasants Animated video.

The first video of the episode played is a video from Patrick Coleman thanking DP. In this video, basically he admits that he's still crazy. Just a little less crazy than before.

It's only about 20 minutes into the episode and everyone is already shit-faced. In the next video, we get very intimate with a beaner. TJ then starts making fun of the Mexican's caterpillar eyebrows because he is uncomfortable with the sexual tension. This cum stain whines because he's in the closet and he is butt hurt about the way TJ treats TVC.

Next up, Vagina Power! The lady in this video molests a poor piece of Laffy Taffy while talking about hoes. Jugo struggle to understand ghetto terms while TJ gives a lesson on how to wash balls. Vagina Power talks about Myspace and TJ and Ben struggle to decipher what a "Myspace" is.

The fourth video is Wild Bill talking about the upcoming presidential election and its "candidates". Bill makes promises that he could never deliver. He reassures us that we would never vote for him if he was running for president. Save yourself the misery and skip this video.

Video #5 is a Vigilant Christian Mario video. In this video, this fine specimen explains how credit card debt is satanic! TVC reminds us, that when we have credit card debt, the first thing we should do is turn to god.

## Middle of the Show

They played a Church of Gail video after a contrived joke about Data from Star Trek. The video was about all the men in the Church of Gail losing their penises due to Jesuit malware. Matthew Mcconaughey got a vagina at the end of the incident and Gail's sister grew a penis. TJ claimed this story to be madlibs.

They played a video of this crazy woman accusing the mailman of stalking him. The mailman told her she was crazy and didn't even know who she was.

They had a contest between Hugo and Jake over which one most people jerk off too so Ben created a poll. In a matter of minutes Hugo was the majority vote.

Next, they had a video where Ryan Wiley thinks people should automatically believe rape victims without question. This of course angered TJ.

## End of the Show

They had a break with a bunch of fucking music.

TJ fucked John Cena, as he has always dreamed of doing.

They played a video where a blind kid got his cane taken away from a blind kid for bad behavior. Dicks.

They moved into the stupid ad segment and played some pretty fucking retarded ads.

At the end of the show Hugo and Jake were tied in the poll.

## Quotes

* *"I'm Rudolph the big dick reindeer."* - TJ introducing himself
* *"Scotty did not die like a bitch, he died fighting velociraptors."* - TJ defending Scotty's honor
* *"Let's play Donkey Kong!"* - TJ interrupting Ben, who was talking about which episode to play
* *"Masturbation is not an accomplishment."* - Hugo spreading blasphemy
* *"People think that I'm just fat, no, I'm just filled with cum at all times."* - TJ makes a Grade A excuse for being fat
* *"We're not even a footnote."* - Jugo getting butthurt because Patrick Coleman didn't mention them in his Thank You video.
* *"We are the reptilians, Patrick, we come for your butthole!"* - TJ being gay
* *"Got scales on my dick, must be a reptilian."* - Ben revealing a horrifying, yet arousing secret
* *"I would put his face in between my massive man titties and just be like 'awww'."* - TJ feeling the love
* *"I just wanna kiss the unibrow."* -TJ getting weird
* *"Hey, Benghazi, would you mind impeaching Obama for me?"* - TJ spouting bullshit

## Trivia

* TJ is uncomfortable with sexual tension unless he's the one causing it.
* TJ believes that a Christian running for President of the United States is unheard of.
* If Wild Bill was president, he would legalize murder.
* Wild Bill is afraid of his hat getting too big because he fears that he might look like an immigrant.
* Water is satanic under the right circumstances.
* Peanuts are satanic.
* Non-hypoallergenic kittens are satanic.

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