Paul (Nosferatu)

**Clan:** Nosferatu

**Sect:** Anarch

**Anarch Rep:** 1 (*Deliverator*)

**Xiong Rep:** 1 (Courier)

	+ My mama, may Mother Mary commend her spirit, was a goddamn saint, and if you say another word about her I'm gonna cut off your fingers and toes with rose clippers. Anyone else though, yeah.
		- You better put back Auntie Bird's clippers, Paulie.
	+ But seriously... he can't get *classified intel*, but anything the neonates know, **Big Mouth** here will sell you at a cut-rate discount.
* Paul got into and out of the Chaffee Zoo while it was restricted, without that Gangrel Primogen catching him.
	+ Yeah, but *whatever* this beef with the Primogen is about, he's had his mobility rights revoked *twice* for it already...
		- Mitnick and Donnie Goh have had it up to here with his swaggering.
		- Got put on deliveries to Sierra Sky Park for a week.
			* At least he got a week off afterwards, to let the nightmares subside...
	+ I don't know why Reinier is wasting his time trying to *parlay for armistice* with these neonate Anarch trash.
		- Allegedly, Paul pissed away the truce mouthing off in infantile rebelliousness anyway.
			* I bet it was *hilariously* cringy. Boy ain't got the sense God gave a turnip.
		- Maybe you think it's about ego, but the Primogen's got a handful of Nos from *both* warrens working for him now.
			* Nobody from our warren is "working for" Kreuger in the way you're implying. We don't work on retainer.
				+ Big-mouth Paulie would do anything, if you paid him enough.
			* And who's this "handful" from Downtown? Name *one* he's compromised besides z3r0.
				+ Sure, Jan. disputed
					- *Who* disputes that.
	+ He may have made it in and out of the zoo, but the Ashtown Buzz said something about a dude getting his foot bit by Kiki the Lioness and Paul was limping around the Ham Palace tonight...
		- Threw my back out banging ya mama last night.
			* Bitch, like Mendoza wouldn't pop your head like a melon between them thiccass thighs.
		- What the hell is he doing in the Zoo, didn't he get pulled off Kreuger duty?
			* He's trying to practice sneaking past guard animals, but he's dummy thicc...
				+ Clap of his asscheeks keeps alerting Kiki ...
		- Maybe he stepped on one of those rusty old bear-traps somebody keeps leaving outside.
* He's made it to Fish Camp on a courier delivery and survived.
	+ I've also never got caught in Elysium by getting the giggles.
		- Cram it, *you* weren't there when the Cammies jumped z3r0 in.
			* GHLP
			* GHLP
			* GHLP LITTLE PETER!!
				+ jfc janet you just "atm machine"d GHLP
	+ Maybe he caught caught by the Lupines and chewed up, and y'all just couldn't tell the difference.
* Paul's the moron twin in the leather jacket. He puts all the souvenir patches and pins of all the wild places he's gotten into on there like medals on his chest.
	+ Besides the zoo one he just got, I know he's been in all three national parks.
		- Dude, the one he swiped from Yosemite is a Junior Ranger badge with his name on it.
		- Man, he's been in ALL THREE. You musta missed that Kings Canyon one he got
		- Speaking of the zoo, you see he's got two Chaffee Zoo name badges?
			* One of them says "Paul", but who the hell is *"Frank"?*
				+ Can I be frank...?
					- Can *you* get a badge?
			* He's got a new one that says "F.U. Freddie".
				+ How'd he get that? I thought Mitnick banned him from getting within a quarter mile of Roeding?
					- Why?
						* The guy knows what he smells like.
	+ Forestiere Underground Gardens.
	+ Pilots wings on there from one of the airports.
		- Could be Sierra Sky Park, too, maybe?
			* I don't think he wants to remember that one.
				+ How many times you think the Herald's blasted him with that Malkavian brain blast?
	+ Printed himself a bellhop name-pin in Ashford Hotel.
		- What's so daring about that, we've all been in there.
			* Have you been up in HR, pressing yourself out a plastic pin, beneath all those cameras too then?
	+ He's got gift-shop pins from the raisin factory *and* the creamery. Who the hell was he delivering to in the *raisin factory*?
		- Maybe he just likes the tours.
	+ There's like four from casinos. He does get up into the hills pretty far, doesn't he?
	+ Did you know he's put a giant GHLP logo on the back of it now, like it's a gang?
	+ Okay, now, the place is small, full of nooks and crannies, and is open till late at night, so I accept that the little shit could get into Knott's Berry Farm and get like twelve different fucking pins with his name on it. But can someone, anyone, tell me HOW in GOD'S FUCKING NAME that lil rat got himself a fucking employee name badge... FROM ***DISNEYLAND***???????
		- No fucking way. I don't believe it. There is NO way that kid's Obfuscate is THAT GOOD. D-land is COVERED in cameras.
			* It's on his jacket, asshole, go look at it yourself. Even let me touch it so I could prove he didn't mask it.
	+ Came back sporting one from Six Flags Magic Mountain too.
		- How the fuck he get all these SoCal pins? How the fuck he got out of Ashtown past the Shifters?
			* Shit homie, IDK. Maybe he's in with Zantarian ?
			* He bought them off e-bay homes.
* I guess this "it's complicated" with Nina is getting pretty serious?
	+ Serious enough they can go to the bathroom with each other in the room.
		- Ha. Ha.
		- GHLP
	+ Serious enough she's got a custom perfume blend at Seren's shop.
		- Is *that* wtf he been smuggling out of there in 5 gallon mayo tubs?!
			* Maybe it's big red mouth wash.
	+ *He's* serious.
		- Judging by that chain he's been wearing since a couple nights ago, she's a thousand dollars worth of serious...
		- She wearin' his colors some nights.
			* Guey I hear Toby tell her she couldn't get on his bike wearing este pinche GHLP colors and she straight *walk back to the West Side instead*.
			* She better make careful, those vatos she runs with ain't likely to think *his little fake crew* is a very funny joke. Somebody gonna pull up on them Brujah some night and mistake that crest for somebody worth clappin at.
				+ Tonto, you really think someone gonna see that group of fucken nerds with Aethyr 's pretty lil handwriting all over their jackets and think they a real challenge? LMFAO you dumber than I thought.
					- LOL this just in, Northside takes out a bunch of Uni High drama kids sporting their drama club patches XD
					- Well *somebody* pulled up on Aethyr outside the Meat Shake.
						* Don't think that got shit to do with their fakeass gang, bruh...
							+ ACAB MOTHERFUCKER
	+ If Mitnick and Donnie Goh don't stop slipping him franklins to keep her distracted, her tios are going to start kicking *somebody's* culos, *definitely* starting with Paulie's.
		- *You* say "keep her distracted", but it looks more like "keep the leash on her"...
		- What do the Anarchs get out of turning a Neonate Brujah?
			* Maybe they just after her contacts list.
* Has, you know, a few things up in the air right now, but if any of these long gambles should actually pay off, he's going to be filthy, desperately, *degenerately wealthy*.
	+ He's got a contact with a way in on an offshore account where the Ventrue won't find his nesting money.
		- Actually, after some new information came to light, is looking into Swiss banks, in Switzerland. If anybody is on their way to Switzerland and has luggage credit for an extra briefcase, hmu.
			* Okay Swiss financial auditors are fascists. But they still can't tax ₿itcoins!
				+ Opportunity to invest in PotCoin at two-for-one limited rate, but concerned Dennis Rodman might actually be Kindred, can anyone advise?
					- still money on table: *somebody* must know wtf Rodman is?
				+ wtb Ron Paul Coin, but no one will sell for below historic mean value
				+ Does anyone know how to get one's hands on some SexCoin AFAF
				+ Have you heard any *non*-leftist-propaganda about HermetiCoins?
					- yeah i wouldn't like uhhh bring that up. danny went to talk to strickland about that and we haven't seen him in a few days :\
				+ I just found out there's not actually any such thing as ShreckBux, Peter, *give me my fifty back dude*.
					- Sorry, that transaction is untraceable. I'm afraid there's no way to process refunds or exchanges!
						* *You little shit*
					- Paul, stop asking me to borrow fifty dollars. You made the poor decision of trusting your brother on literally anything involving a financial transaction, and now you must pay the piper.
						* *But Seren*...
							+ Absolutely not or I'll make you sleep in the doll shed.
					- It's just fifty bucks, bro, you don't have to hide out. PLEASE G H, LP
						* I'll spot you the fifty kid, just *come back.*
			* Has a tentative line on alloy gold, bulk in sheets, that contains slightly more gold than it's worth, in bullion, but he's not likely to make enough back *fast enough* to be able to repay *a loan* for the melting and pressing apparatus he'd need to turn them into bars of pure... anybody got a home refinery they could lend him?
	+ He's pretty sure that if he can buy a baby for less than 3k, the assistance credit he'd stand to collect would be a net positive, provided he can turn it around within five to seven years.
		- Anybody want a human baby for a couple of years? You'd get a percentage cut, and reasonable expense reimbursement from end net profits...?
		- Also he'd let you name it.
		- He's pretty sure either the Ventrue or Giovanni could probably get him one much cheaper, if you're not particular about the provenance of your (temporary) offspring.
		- Paul this is the weirdest flex I've ever heard of.
		- If anyone has *actual tangible proof* that Paul has purchased an infant, please contact Mitnick and Seren *immediately*.
			* God, way to be real squares, Mom and Dad. (¬\_¬)
				+ We are *neither* of your parents, and thank the Gods for that.
					- yeah they would have thrown your ass down a ravine like spartans, paulie
			* I thought this was the *Anarchs*, bro.
				+ You want to live in this house, you follow rules, Earl.
				+ Your girlfriend is going to fucking can your ass if you ever actually deal in HUMAN BABY TRAFFICKING and we're all just gonna point and laugh as she punches you into torp.
					- at that point he's gonna be lucky if she doesn't vore him and them i'm gonna be sad cause i'll have to arrest spicy for voring paul
	+ He thinks he's found a way to turn charitable donations to a non-profit retirement investment scheme into triple-negative infinite tax refunds.
		- Pauly, if a *double*-negative is a *positive*, then a *triple*-negative...
			* ... is a *double*-positive! *Alright!*
		- Oh is *that* why he's been trying to inject blood into the water cooler at the H&R Block up in the Mid-town Residential? It's Fall, idiot, there's barely even anyone there...
			* *Guaranteed* Mitnick's about to get a call from whatever Blue-blood's retainer owns that H&R Block...
	+ Knows a sure-thing, guaranteed 120% return on investment disbursed over two six-month vestment periods, he just needs someone to front him the $1mil initial buy-in capital.
	+ Facilitates legal-but-complicated personal wire transfers from places like Mumbai, Delhi, Crimea, and Chicago, for a modest and reasonable 5% money-laundering commission.
	+ He better remember his fave big sister when he gets "degenerately wealthy" *#flexinlikenina*
		- I could never forget Seren!
			* GHLP
			* I do not require your filthy lucre, Paul, I am myself legally employed.
				+ I will buy you a *nice fern*, Big sis.
					- Get her a ficus so she'll always remember you.
					- I said a nice. fucking. *fern.*
						* *No.*
	+ Has big shares in Rearden metal mining operations, now that new regulations are making prices for the processed ore skyrocket.
		- You could have got in on it too but he bought literally the last share off the guy.
			* Uh anybody want to buy my shares? I'll give you a friends-discount?
	+ Apparently bought a parcel of land up in Bear's Ears, Utah, and got a bunch of hippies to park on it. Government won't get near because they're all fucked up on shrooms, fully armed, and in a great fuckoff yurt.
		- Yeah, nobody knows if it's got any actual resource value or anything, but he's apparently been calling Winona's Hemp off the fucking hook trying to get hemp seeds.
			* They just legalized hemp sales and growth, man, I'm getting in on the ground floor. It's brilliant and all of you motherfuckers are going to be sobbing into your Wheaties when I'm a billionaire.
			* And there's no Rodman in sight, bros...
				+ WHAT is your obsession with Dennis Rodman?
					- let's pack him in a box and ship his ass to north korea so he can go hang with dennis rodman
				+ So you're a Billionaire now, right?
					- Nobody would sell him seeds.
						* He's been going haven-to-haven in the SWD asking to pick through people's carpets.
					- Chief I'ma level with you, I forgot all about this venture.
						* ... what happened to the hippies?
							+ OH SHIT
	+ Anybody got a pickup with a tow hitch I could borrow for a couple nights? Copper wire is *hot* right now, you guys.
		- Are you the reason all the street lights were out on Marks last night?
		- Goddamned vandals.
		- you realize if they catch you they're gonna think you're a tweaker and are gonna throw you in the drug pen. that's covered in windows.
	+ Ey so Richie Rich can I borrow a couple hundred bucks?
		- wtf are you talking about he can't even buy a chicken nugget
			* I saw him carrying them ziplock freezer bags packed with jacksons the other night, don't lie.
				+ Bud, that was a delivery.
				+ He's been getting some good jobs lately.
					- The big boys have important spying to do right now.
					- I thought nobody trusted him to do anything important.
						* I guess he stepped it up lately.
				+ Text me next time you see that idiot wandering around with stacks of cash.