Playing Hooky (Little Witch Academia Lost Episode)

I really don’t like my parents at all. What do I mean? Well, my parents, they treat me like an absolute asshole. They make me watch baby shows whenever I get in trouble just so I can learn a little life lesson on bad stuff like smoking, watching NC-17 movies etc.

But to get the elephant out of the room, I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Coraline Jones, I'm an 11 year old girl who lives in Ashland, Oregon. I used to have parents before, but one day when they were arrested, the FBI took all the portraits in my house with my parents in it.

That was a sad day for me, but it’s okay, because I’m living all by myself. I know how to get groceries, do the laundry, cook using the stove and more. At least I still have my grandparents whose names are Gabriel and Joanna. Now I know what you are about to ask? Why is my grandpa a different skin color? Well watch your mouth dear reader because it’s none of your damn business.

Okay, let me ask you a question. Have you ever got in trouble by skipping school before? I have, It sucked, HARD! You wanna know how I did it but never got away? GoAnimate made me do it.

Well, there’s a lost episode of Little Witch Academia that talks about this illegal thing. For those of you who have never heard of this anime. Little Witch Academia involves a girl named Akko who attends an academy for witches. That’s all I can tell you as I just encountered a weird episode of the series.

Let me tell you about it. One day, I was at home with my dog Precious. We were on the couch watching this somewhat weird commercial that had Henry Albatross and General Melchett showing us how to cook burgers.

Then it cut to a commercial which told us that a special episode of Little Witch Academia will be playing at the Piedmont Theatre in California for 3 weeks only. I thought that I’d be interested in an anime playing at a select movie theatre.

So I bought tickets to California and headed out. I let Precious come with me because he’s nervous of thunder due to there being one every single night when I’m not around. So we made our way to the airport. It was cool cause I rode in a taxi with Colonel Sanders as the driver.

When I gave out my tickets to the airport worker, I met Protegent Man. Me and Precious got on the plane to California. Dogs are supposed to be put in cages but who the hell cares? At least Precious doesn’t pee and poo all over the place, I take him to the lavatory.

I sat down with this handsome girl named Laura asking if I’m headed for California and I said yes. She told me that this kind of plane rocks because it had a TV with every single movie and television show. And most of all, you could play video games on it. How relaxing!

While jamming into some PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, I got interrupted by this angry flight attendant who told me that smoking isn't allowed on the plane. However, I wasn’t smoking, my dog Precious found an old cigarette. I apologized to the man and he gave me a cage to stuff the dog in.

When I arrived in California, I somehow regretted letting my dog go on this trip with me as I went to my hotel. Surprisingly, there was a hotel just around the corner where the Piedmont Theatre was.

I got a taxi to the theatre. But before I went to the ticket station, I got stopped by this woman named Dallas asking me who I was. I stated my name and she told me that if I’m buying a ticket to the latest episode of Little Witch Academia, what I would see will not be good at the end.

I gave it a good ole go and purchased a ticket. However, when I got to the refreshment bar, I was given a free meal from KFC as the popcorn machine was down at the time. Nice and good at the same time.

Me and Precious sat down at our seat ready to watch this film. I sat down next to these familiar people named Billy Bob Tanley and Samuel L Jackson. While talking about how I was the only child in the theater, the previews were about to begin. The first preview showed a trailer for a movie starring Mr Parks and Jack Black. The 2nd trailer had Star Butterfly just walking with a dead body of Marco Diaz.

Then before we got into the episode of Little Witch Academia, we were introduced to a short film which was basically a parody of Steamed Hams starring Homer Simpson and Mr Burns. Homer portrayed Superintendent Chalmers as Mr. Burns portrayed Skinner.

After the short film, the intro started finally. However, things were off.

When we saw Akko, she was completely clothless. Samuel L Jackson ran to the bathroom to vomit. Billy Bob Tanley covered his eyes but for me, I wasn’t even bothered. Trust me, I have seen what the human body looks like.

A title card came up and it said, Playing Hooky. The episode started with Akko sleeping in her bed until her parents claimed that it was time for witch school. She didn't want to go cause on most days, she gets treated like shit from her friends.

Then Akko came up with a perfect idea. She could just clone herself. So that’s what she did. Akko for some reason had a PC in her room, so she went on there to play some Fortnite while her clone went to school.

Akko’s parents then left for work while the clone of you know who flew to school. The plan was a success. A time card popped up and it said, “3 Hours Later.” Akko got very bored of playing Fortnite so she decided to take a walk. While walking, she met up with Sir Topham Hatt. They had a good talk about how the engines on the island of Sodor do a great job on most days.

Then, Akko decided to go to the park for some exercise. She decided to attend an outdoor fitness program with people such as El Macho, Kyle Broflovski, Ashley Armbruster, Disco Stu, Walter Beckett, Buckie O Buck Neill, MT Bar and Hilda.

Meanwhile at school, Ms Callistis wondered where in the world Akko is. Billy Bob Tanley yelled next to me, “Bullcrap! She’s right there next to the other students!” Isaiah Vargas was for some reason one of the students in the class telling the teacher she was watching dead memes during a test they were about to take.

That was odd since witches back in the day didn’t use phones. Ms Callistis took the phone away from the clone of Akko and they started the exam. Then it cut to an intermission from one of those Monty Python thing-a-ma-jigs. It then displayed a cartoon which had Martin Stone and Reverend Peter Mo-Fuckin Timms planning to kidnap the fiancee of Governor Tackleton. Their plan was a success and it cut back to the episode.

(More to come)