Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Sephirothsword57 Review

**The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time** is an action-adventure game originally developed and published by *Nintendo* in 1998 for the Nintendo 64. It has also been ported to the Nintendo Gamecube as part of ***The Legend of Zelda: Collector's Edition*** and an enhanced standalone version called ***Master Quest*** 2003. It also saw a remake for the Nintendo 3DS in 2011. The version **SephirothSword57** reviews is the original N64 version.

## Episode synopsis

**SephirothSword57** is reading *Tokyo Mew Mew* and is caught off guard by the viewer. He then explains today's review will be on The Legend of Zelda. He talks briefly about his personal history with the *Zelda* franchise, and as he is about to start playing he is baffled by the design of the N64 controller. Shadow, now wearing a baseball cap and a bejewelled necklace, enters **SephirothSword57**'s home just as he is trying to figure out the logistics of the controller. **SephirothSword57** explains he was just about to review *Ocarina of Time*, and Shadow advices against this because *"everybody knows that's a shit game, yo."* **SephirothSword57** responds that he already knows, and that his intention is to make a review not based on nostalgia or fanboyism, but honest and objective.

### The review

* **Boring and pointless intro and opening cutscenes**
* **Slow, unskippable dialogue**
* **Stiff controls**
* **Unapealing models**
* **Main character (Link) refered to as what the save file is named**
* **Combat similar to that of Dark Souls**
* **Empty overworld map**
* **Being explicitly told where to go next**
* **Repetitive dungeons**
* **Predictable bossfights**
* **Vague and crytpic clues where to go next instead of just saying where**

**SephirothSword57** says he'd given up on the game by now if it weren't for the review, but is desperately trying to find the appeal that so many people claim there is for it.

* **Fish dungeon disgusting in addition to boring and easy**

### Post-review

After being told to return to the staring area for a third time, **SephirothSword57** finally has enough. As he is delivering his final verdict on the game, he is interrupted by Link who claims he will defeat **SephirothSword57**, who says there will be no challenge but welcomes the opportunity to try out his new *blitz* move. As he strikes at Link, his blow is reflected by an energy shield, and Link explains he will use the *Song of Time* to trap **SephirothSword57**'s brain in a time warp in order to lower his intellect to the level of a small child.

Link plays on the ***Ocarina of Time*** as **SephirothSword57** covers his ears and screams in agony, then mockingly declares Nintendo will be pleased at **SephirothSword57**'s defeat. **SephirothSword57** falls to the ground, but quickly regains consciousness to Link's disbelief. **SephirothSword57** explains as Link began playing *Song of Time*, he grabbed two pencils from his pocket and used them to destroy his own eardrums in order to block Link's attack. **SephirothSword57**, now deaf, says he cannot be harmed by Link's attacks. Link claim **SephirothSword57** can't attack him either, to which he retorts with a brief explanation of *Ludwig von Beethoven*, who also was deaf, and that Link had proven sound can penetrate the energy shield. **SephirothSword57** pulls out his own Sega ocarina from inside his vest, and plays a powerful melody, which obliterates Link.

**SephirothSword57** sits down in his sofa and begins to read *Tokyo Mew Mew* again, as Shadow comes into the room wondering what the noise was. **SephirothSword57** brushes it off a nothing special, then comments on how Shadow's been acting strange lately. Shadow wonders what he means by this, and asks if it's because he is black.

## Gallery

SephirothSword57's plan for the daySephirothSword57's blow reflectedSephirothSword57, defeated?A secret weapon