MAESTRO

*Miles beneath the Switchblade Mountains, our heroes find themselves tempest-tossed and at the mercy of that mad Prospero of parts, our master of meat, sorcerer and body-auteur Brian F\*ck. All is exactly as it seems. And yet somehow, bonds are tested, a life is irrevocably changed, and wait what's this? Redemption!? Not on this podcast, bucko.*

## Summary

The party meets with Brian Fuck in his sanctuary. He introduces himself as a master scientist and sorcerer, particularly a “maestro of the flesh” who created The Shish Kebab Express. He explains that he was once a goblin who began crafting and altering creatures to extend his own lifespan and research further into the borders of creation. Hot Roddy continues to insist they know each other while Brian Fuck singles out De Bonesby. He recognizes his strange state of living death and with some experimenting, confirms that De Bonesby has a month to live in this condition. Brian Fuck offers to help, which briefly enrages Stirfry until he’s talked into letting them try. Albee attempts to prod at Hot Roddy’s crumbling facade of competence, but he hastily evades any questioning.

Brian Fuck offers Frederick two options: implanting mutated goblin bones to add another year to his life, or taking a month to painfully grant him flesh and bone from another living creature to extend it indefinitely. The latter would also separate them since the tunnel’s mouth moves through the mountain. While Frederick considers taking another’s life for his own, Brian Fuck insists that it would be from one of his party members. Frederick firmly refuses anything of the sort and is taken off for his bone transplant in Brian Fuck’s sealed laboratory.

Albee searched for a way into the lab, but only finds a tunnel leading up from Brian Fuck's refrigerator (as well as a gasping torso with a face). She attempts to climb it, only to find it too far to go herself. Cordelia sends Cordelia Junior up instead while they go back to the waiting room. Brian Fuck goes through with his deal, giving Frederick the jaw bone of a goblin warrior and the hand of a trickster, warning that they carry some physical memories with them. Roddy tries to mock the party until Bellow erupts at him to never make fun of his friends again. Roddy confides in him that he has no one to effectively bully for his power source, pleading him for a victim while fearing he'll die from lack of bullying.

De Bonesby returns to the party with his new parts, feeling much better. Brian Fuck then demands his payment: flesh for flesh. He refuses to let them leave without either returning his Shish Kebab Express or a new jaw and a new hand for the ones he replaced. The party refuses the deal, but Brian Fuck threatens them with his army of creations. Hot Roddy intervenes, realizing that things are escalating and that he's suddenly allowed to bully someone. Bellow lets him loose as Roddy tears into Brian Fuck, bombarding him with threats and insults as his bullymancer powers are restored.

Roddy's powers deflect most of Brian Fuck's flesh-based magic as the party attempts to run. Brian Fuck commands his creations to chase down the party, but Cordelia Junior returns to inform them that the tunnel leads straight to Ruleshaven. They flee back into the fridge where the disembodied torso hits a switch to activate the secret elevator. Bellow grabs onto Roddy just before they're launched up as breakneck speed. The panicking party attempts to slow it down as Albee sends a blast of wind upward. A light approaches as they heard the sound of shattering glass.

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/maestro