Assertive Acquisitions

**Assertive Acquisitions** is a Space Engineers Let's Play series and a Zebra Monkeys production. It follows Splitsie McSplitsington, TheFinalEvent97, and (after episode 11) Capac, as they fight against the ASSERT faction to *acquire* the unique uncraftable ASSERT thrusters from their ships.

## Setting

Assertive Acquisitions apparently takes place around the year 2081 (though it is unclear what calendar that is using).

The first 33 episodes are set on a system of moons of a blue gas giant (an Orunos with modified gravity falloff), with the focus mainly being on an unnamed Moon-type moon. Later episodes are set out somewhere in deeper space, with the occasional asteroid around but no planets in sight, until the end of episode 67.

## Release Schedule

New episodes of Assertive Acquisitions are released weekly on Wednesdays (in Splitsie's timezone; it may be Tuesdays for other timezones).

Episodes have been released weekly since the 10th of August 2022, with the exception of three weeks in November 2022 due to Splitsie going away and taking a break for a week followed by TFE and Capac both getting covid.

## Episodes

1. Assertive Acquisitions
2. The Platypus goes Quack!
3. Gaterpiller becomes the Blammo-fly
4. A Little Too Much Thrust
5. The Little Miner That Could
6. Doom Craters
7. Pilot Error
8. No Ammo, No Armor, No Idea
9. Surviving the Night
10. One Wasabi, Two Wasabi, Three Wasabi Blammo
11. A Helping Hand
12. The Fighting Monk vs The Power Grid
13. We Will Have Victory
14. Crash Testing Capac
15. Stealing a Hive
16. A Good Ship Needs a Good Name
17. A Long Way to Go
18. Vert-Ical Tran-sl8r
19. How many engineers does it take to change a parachute?
20. The Case of Capac, Splitsie and the Unexplained Explosion
21. A Regrettable Action
22. Escalating Conflict
23. Precision and Timing required
24. Expensive but Effective
25. Uh oh?
26. A 'cheeky' Ship
27. Self Capac-ing
28. Crash-pac, the re-crashening
29. Finding Nem... Telesto
30. Smoked Paprika...
31. How NOT to salvage a ship
32. Outranged and Outgunned
33. Teleportation, Doppelgangers and Blammo walk into a bar...
34. There's Something Strange...
35. A New Career
36. A Grumpy man, a Grey man and a Laggy man
37. Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah
38. The Design Bureau
39. How grey is Grey?
40. We finally found it!
41. Capac Amaru, Space Plumber
42. Well that's not good
43. The Capac and TFE show
44. What's Missing from the Missile?
45. Replaced by AI
46. How long can a Capac survive without O2?
47. The Final Librarian
48. The Kitchen's on Fire, Save the Bacon!
49. What's in a Name?
50. TFE's Pride
51. Splitsie's Frustration
52. Decisions Made
53. Space Pilot 2081
54. Warning, Enemy Detected
55. Cutting the Cord
56. Justified Confusion
57. Whoa! That's Expensive!
58. A Successful Mission?
59. Looking for Loot
60. How is the wheel doing that?
61. First Capac, Now TFE?
62. Eats, Flutes and Leaves
63. SkyWarp Joins the Fight
64. A Bite Too Far
65. A Few Stray Rounds
66. Worst Pirates Ever?
67. Science with Capac
68. Something went... right?
69. Spinning with Tantrums
70. Smug Upgrade
71. Full Contact, Full Insanity
72. Super Splitsie
73. Just Keep Swimming

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 *A little update on what's happening on the channel :)*, 30 June 2023 https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkx\_dT4z2vO9QvKydl0Ga8lGlDAGQ6ysaCx
2. ↑ The date Splitsie McSplitsington wrote on a cheque in "A Helping Hand - Assertive Acquisitions #11" 18:40 into the video - https://youtu.be/h01FaiD1LL0?t=1122
3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Crbon9\_pHDEXm5aKHTeAQ/community?lb=UgkxW78gXnvrglfwFFP45CzdbnUvO5f41ICK
4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Crbon9\_pHDEXm5aKHTeAQ/community?lb=UgkxueiIZScYpi8jZ56Q7WGrPuor1Yn0iiW0