Meet the Alchemist

**Meet the Alchemist** is the 63rd episode of The Loudest House!

Next episode: Lexie's Reform

## Synopsis:

When David and Greg have a history project about their ancestors, they decide to time travel to the early 1500's in Europe to meet their ancestor who's a famous alchemist.

## Character Appearances:

* David Miller
* Greg Miller
* Varian
* Cassandra
* Sarah Miller
* Todd Miller
* Brittany Miller
* Robert Miller
* Emma Miller
* Lizzie Miller
* Henry Miller
* Lisa Loud
* Foop Cosma
* Goldie Goldenglow
* Lana Loud
* Lola Loud
* Lucas Watterson
* Marcus Watterson
* Lindsey Sweetwater
* Francis Stewart
* Winston Milbourne
* Ms. Shrinivas
* Mr. Cooper
* Eugene
* Rapunzel

## Transcript:

On a spring day, Ms. Shrinivas had an announcement.

Ms. Shrinivas: Class, today we’re going to collaborate with Mr. Cooper’s class to work on a fun little history project!

David whispered to Lisa.

David: I bet this project will be a piece of cake!

Lisa: Right?

Ms. Shrinivas: So, this week, we’ll all study our ancestors. And at the end of the week, do some kind of project about the ancestor you chose. You may work with a partner for this assignment. In fact, it’s required…

The bell rang, dismissing everyone.

Lisa: And we’re so working together. Right, David?

David: Actually. I’m thinking of working with Greg. He and I DO have the same ancestors, after all!

Lisa: Good point. I wonder if Lola or Lana would want me on their team or…

Lisa and David (in unison): NAH!

~ ~ ~

During recess, David met up with Greg.

David: So, we really need to start thinking about the project…

Greg: Oooohhh… Nah… Darcy’s out sick today. I wanna make her some of my homemade soup tonight. And by my homemade soup...I mean Robert’s.

Greg smirked, as David glared at him.

David: Greg! This is serious! I mean, we wanna get an A, right…

Greg looked at David blankly.

David: Well, at least I want to get an A…

Greg: Oh, we’re getting an A! I think I have an idea…

David rolled his eyes.

David: Whatever it is, make sure Darcy isn’t involved…

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, Lola and Lana were talking with Lucas, Marcus, Winston, Lindsey, and Francis about their project.

Lola: I bet I’m related to royalty!

Lucas and Marcus began laughing.

Lucas: Yeah right!

Marcus: You’re insane.

Lola: I’m not insane! I think we really are!

Lana: Lols, hate to break it to you, but we’ve come from native Americans. Mom may have mentioned this last Christmas. Where were you then?

Lola: The only thing I’ve heard last Christmas was “Time to open presents.”

Lana rolled her eyes.

Winston: Well, Lola. I’m related to royalty.

Lola: SHUT UP!

Winston: Yep. My mom and dad have done some cleaning up around the house last night and found this old journal. About a princess. With extremely long blonde hair… that’s MAGICAL! I know! I can’t believe it!

Lindsey: Whatever. Lola, your family might be really lame, but Winston’s sounds...too good to be true.

Francis: Yeah. I’ve researched that princess before. There’s no way you’re related to Rapunzel. Get real.

Winston: Nope, it’s true. See for yourself!

Winston got out an old looking book out of his bag and handed to Lindsey and Francis.

Lindsey and Francis began flipping through the book.

Lindsey: Oh my god! HOW?! How are you related to the famous queen and king of the now deserted Corona?!

Francis: Also known as Rapunzel and Eugene! INSANE!

Winston: Yeah, well they’re not part of my immediate family. They’re my mother’s great, great, great, great, great, great aunt and uncle!

Lola: Well, we should partner up, Winstie!

Winston: Okay. If you got something to contribute to my report. Then sure.

Lola: YES!

~ ~ ~

After school, Greg and David made it home.

Sarah: And how was your day?

David: Oh, it was fantastic. Greg and I are partners for a new history project.

Greg: About our ancestors. Do you know who they are so I can go over to Darcy’s to make her soup?

Sarah: Hold on there, Greg…

Todd: You wanna know about your ancestors? Don’t you?

Todd took out a stack of books and handed them to Greg.

Greg: Mannn… These books are heavy!

Emma: Hello! That’s kinda the point! No worries, we’ll all help you.

Robert: Yep. My date with Riley at the mall doesn’t even start until an hour. I’d be glad to help.

Brittany: And I know a few...hundred things about history. I could tell you so much about our ancestors, it’s like you’ve lived their lives!

Lizzie: Let’s hope there were no tragedies. I heard the therapists in ancient history weren’t as effective.

Henry: But I bet the math was interesting! Let’s go!

The Miller siblings left excitedly.

Sarah: I don’t think they’ll need our help with this…

Todd: Nope… So, how would you like me to finish telling you the story of… How George Washington owned the Revolutionary War!?

Sarah: That’d be nice!

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, in David, Greg, Henry, and Robert’s room, the siblings have looked through all the books Todd gave them.

David: I think I can deduce one thing from all these books…

Robert: What?

David: Our ancestors were people of science too!

Lizzie: You don’t say!

David: Yep! And I think we might be related to the people who came up with the whole scientific concept!

Greg: And that gives ME a brilliant idea…

Emma: And what’s that?

Henry: Yeah! We’d really like to help…

Brittany: Especially me!

Greg: Well, I think this is more called for the 2 science whizzes in the house. David?

David: Thought you’d never ask!

Robert: Well, I’ll just go surprise Riley at his house. Surely our date at the mall won’t be interrupted by Mandee and Jackie this time…

Emma: And I’ll just finish my novel…

Lizzie: And I’ll go over to Landon’s house to help him get over his aggressive tendencies…

Henry: Well, Silas needs help with his math homework…

Brittany: And I got a new drawing I wanted to upload to DeviantArt. My watchers will love it!

The rest of the Millers left.

David: Okay, Greg. Tell me your idea.

Greg: Well, I say, we invent time travel. And then travel back in time to the time our great, great, great, great grandfather Varian was a kid…

David: I don’t remember reading about Varian in the books…

Greg: Well. You obviously didn’t look hard enough! At only 15, he saved Corona from those deadly black rocks that infested the city!

David: That’s cool and all, but Greg. We have to get working on our project THIS WEEK. It’ll take months, even years to invent time travel…

Greg: You mean these? ...

Greg got out two wrist watches out of his pocket.

David’s eyes bugged out.

David: HOW!? Why? But more importantly, HOW?!

Greg: Please. I’ve been working on these since Christmas...of 2016.

David: Okay, in that case, let’s do it!!

They put on Greg’s wrist watches and turned them on.

~ ~ ~

After they traveled through a wormhole, Greg and David were released into 1500...in Corona in England.

David: This place looks eerily familiar…

Greg: Because we read about it in the book! Remember?

David: Correction. You read about it in that book. It’s something else...like it was featured in a TV series…

Greg: Oh yeah...I think Wikipedia may have mentioned that the cartoon, Tangled was based on a true story of something that actually, truly happened!

David’s eyes bugged out again.

David: Shut up! Really? Well, I’m staying!

A few people in the town eyed David and Greg like they were out of place.

David: Uhhh, Greg. I don’t think we really blend in here… People are staring.

Greg: Nonsense. Let’s just find our great, great, great, great grandfather, and-

Greg began walking, when he bumped into a teenage boy with black hair and a blue streak. He was wearing a dark red apron, black gloves, and yellow goggles on top of his head.

Boy: Sorry...have we met?

Greg started looking excited.

Greg: You’re my great, great, great, great grandfather. Varian. I’m Greg! Your great, great, great, great grandson! Where’s Cassandra? She’s my great, great, great, great GRANDMOTHER, you know!

A black haired girl around her early 20's looked at Greg.

Girl: And these are? Varian, I already told you. Princess Rapunzel won’t forgive you if you kidnap children…who, we haven’t met before.

Varian: Sorry, Cassandra. But I’ve never seen these kids before in my life! But I doubt they’d help me rescue my father. Nobody would.

Varian frowned.

Cassandra: And I did NOT just hear that I’d marry THIS tool...Who are you, Greg?

Greg: Well… Well…

David: Well, we were just LEAVING…

David pulled Greg aside.

David: As excited as I am about actually MEETING our ancestors, you gotta chill! You really expect Cassandra and Varian to know who we are? Well, they don’t. And they don’t even look like they’re even BEGINNING to start dating. So, will you quit assuming Cassandra is our great, great, great, great grandmother?

Greg: But she is! I read it in the book!

David rolled his eyes.

David: Whatever you say. But please. I need to ask Varian and Cassandra a few questions for our report, and then we can go home. Okay?

Greg: But David-

David: What?

Greg: They’re already leaving.

Greg pointed to Varian and Cassandra, who were already heading towards a big castle.

David: And...we follow them! Come on!

Greg: Oh yeah! Best day EVER!

~ ~ ~

They made it inside the castle, where Varian and Cassandra were talking to a girl with really, really long blonde hair and a handsome man with wavy brown hair and a small goatee.

Varian: But Rapunzel! Eugene! You two promised that after the snowstorm you’d save my father!

Rapunzel: Cass. He really put you up to this?

Cassandra: Sorry, Raps. But Varian may be right.

Eugene: I just can’t trust you. Cassandra, you should’ve known better. Well, maybe you WOULD’VE known better if you quit being so stubborn.

Cassandra: And you’re not stubborn!?

Varian: Also, we happened to have run into some strange kids…

Rapunzel: Oooo, I LOVE kids!

Eugene: Calm down there, blondie…

Varian: But one of them...Greg...acted like we were related! How? I’ve never met anyone named Greg in my life.

Cassandra: Neither have I…

Varian chuckled a little.

Varian: And the funny thing is…

Varian chuckled even more.

Varian: This Greg actually thinks Cassandra is his great grandmother, or something!

Varian chuckled more.

Varian: Which means...I marry Cassandra?

Cassandra: Don’t push it. We’re not getting married, Varian. I need to help Rapunzel decide what to do to stop the black rocks.

Varian: Well, I have a solution, if you can believe it…

Rapunzel: Thank you, Varian. But Cass and I can take it from here. Eugene, guard the castle. Make sure no one comes in...or no one comes out. Cause if these black rocks pop up in the middle of the kingdom of Corona, we’re all done for.

Eugene: Will do, mi-lady!

Greg and David were hiding underneath a table this whole time.

David: We have to follow Cassandra and Rapunzel…

Greg: Whatever happened to us just blending in?

David: If we can get Cassandra and Varian together, we can really spill the truth out of them and then we can write our report! I cannot have Lexie and her World War I resolving ancestors get a better grade than ME.

Greg: And Winston can’t have a better grade than me. Who actually says he’s related to Rapunzel!

David: Okay, then. Let’s go!

David and Greg snuck out from under the table and began to follow Cassandra and Rapunzel.

Meanwhile, Varian had already fled the castle after getting the final answer from Eugene.

~ ~ ~

An hour later, Greg and David found Rapunzel and Cassandra by a big triangled black rock near a little house in a big field.

Greg: Watch and learn how I present my cause…

David rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath.

David: This can’t go well…

Greg went over to Cassandra and Rapunzel, who was observing the black rock, with David following behind.

Greg: Great-granny, Cassandra! Mind if I have a word with you?

Cassandra: Sorry kid, but this is no place for kids…

Greg: We just want to ask you...and maybe Varian...some questions. Got a few minutes?

Cassandra rolled her eyes.

Cassandra: I guess I can take 20 minutes to answer your questions. Varian, though, hasn’t shown up yet…

Greg: That’s okay. We’ll find him later… Won’t we, David? We’ll find him later.

David: Let’s just get this over with…

~ ~ ~

Near a stream, Greg, David, and Cassandra kneeled down by a tree.

Cassandra: Okay. So what did you two wanna ask me?

David: Well, did you really betray Rapunzel because of some ghostly girl influencing to because you saw your long lost mother...Gothel?

Cassandra was bewildered.

Cassandra: I would never! I don’t know what you’re talking about. My father is the captain of the guards. I wanna be JUST like him.

Greg: Okay. Surely, your job is to protect Rapunzel. But enough on Rapunzel… How are you and Varian doing?

Cassandra: Varian and I are just friends, if you were wondering. We’re not getting married. We’re not even dating. Do you understand?

Greg: Crystal clear.

Cassandra: Good. Now I gotta go. Rapunzel needs me.

Cassandra left.

David: Okay. Now all we need to do is get Varian to answer a few questions, and hello A!

~ ~ ~

David and Greg found Varian in the village of Corona, gathering a few supplies.

They went up to him.

Varian: You two. Can’t you see I’m on a mission?

David: Oh yes. You need to save your father and the kingdom from those black rocks. I have read all about it.

Varian: That’s a great idea! I was only going to save my father and leave Corona to ruin - but why not kill two birds with one stone and do both!

Greg: But first. We need your help.

Varian: Anything! Name it.

David: We just need you to answer a few questions…

Varian: Okay. But...not here.

David: Whatever you want. Where would you like to go?

Varian: I have just the place…

~ ~ ~

Varian, Greg, and David met up in Varian’s secret alchemy lab.

Varian: This is where all the magic happens. Well, not magic. I am a man of science, after all.

David: As are we. But we have some questions regarding your...accomplishments.

Varian: By all means. I realized I liked alchemy when I was 5. I helped my dad out of a sticky situation then. And I intend to help him now!

Greg: What exactly happened?

Varian gulped, then frowned.

Varian: You wanna know what’s under this sheet?

Varian pointed to a big object covered by a big white sheet.

Varian: Well, I’ll tell you…

Varian pulled off the sheet to reveal an older man that looks somewhat like Varian encased in a yellow stone like substance.

Varian: That’s my father. Yep, he got encased in this amber when we were in kind of a fight. I guess he knocked one of my experiments over, and… This happened. I don’t know what to do. The queen and king won’t help me. The princess and her fiance won’t help. I don’t even think Cassandra will help. I need to do something FAST. Though my dad and I don’t always see eye to eye, I still love him very much.

David whispered to Greg.

David: Are you getting all this?

Greg: Yeah. That is so beautiful!!

Varian: Yeah, but I hope to help him get out of this! Nice meeting you, Greg, David. You two have bright futures.

David and Greg smiled, then pressed their wristwatches.

They vanished when Varian was distracted.

Varian: Perfect! Now I can get back to my plan! Sure hope it works!

~ ~ ~

After traveling through a wormhole yet again, David and Greg finally made it home.

David: This was nuts!

Greg: You’re telling me! But at least we have everything we need for our report!

David: And hello A! And Harvard!

Greg eyed David.

David: Too soon?

Greg: Ya think?

~ ~ ~

At the end of the week, David and Greg both were sitting in Ms. Shrinivas’ class along with the rest of the first and second graders.

Foop: And that’s why Goldie and I decided to do our report on the brave Anti-Fairy Council.

Goldie: Though they’re not entirely our ancestors, they’ve shaped my parents and Foopie’s parents into who they are today!

Ms. Shrinivas: That was...an interesting report. C+.

Goldie: And that’s why, Foop, we just see who our real ancestors are…

Foop and Goldie sat down.

Mr. Cooper: Okay. Last but not least, David and Greg Miller.

Lucas whispered to Marcus.

Lucas: This should be interesting…

David: And our report is on our distant ancestors, Cassandra and Varian Miller, the most famous alchemist and his, well, not yet wife in the 1500’s...

Greg: You might want to get comfortable. Cause this could take a while…

~ ~ ~

At the end of the day, David and Greg finally finished their report.

Ms. Shrinivas and Mr. Cooper were the only ones in the classroom.

David: So? Do we pass?

Ms. Shrinivas: That was really interesting… I’d say… A+!

David: YES!

Mr. Cooper: May I ask...how did you boys research this?

Greg: Well, let’s just say, I think we might’ve lived it!

Greg winked.