Kari/Cissé

This is the conversation page for Kari and Cissé.

If you would like to read the dialogues of Kari and another survivor, you can find those pages linked on Kari's dialogue master page, in the dialogue master category , or in the *Relationships* section of any survivor page.

### Your Story

This event does not appear to have a trigger and occurs randomly.

Your name is Kari, right? Do I pronounce it properly?

No. The right way to pronounce it is to never say it.

Oh? How is this so? That's an interesting custom, but why would you have a name you'd never use?

I don't want YOU to use it. I don't want to hear it in one of your weird-ass songs.

But you're Eirik and Blodeuwedd's daughter, an important figure of the village! How am I supposed to tell your family's story if I can't use your name?

* **Just don't.**

I don't want to be part of any story, old man. Especially when the current story is "unlucky girl gets bored to death on a deadly island"!

* Kari: +  Depression

Don't you have anything better to do than telling stories anyway? Slicing Björn's throat in his sleep would make a great story, why don't you try this instead?

It reminds me of an old saying in our land that... when your luck deserts you, even cold food burns. I know you're upset. I would have been too, when I was your age. But your family is whole, and you have a shelter and a purpose. It could always be worse, so smile!

By Thor and Loki, you're so LAME! Never heard so much stupidity in so few words.

* Kari: -20 to opinion of Cissé

You'll die quick, Cissé. Sorry for you. Almost.

* **Which story?**

Which story do you want to tell? Happy family gets nearly killed by nasty men, gets lost at sea, repeat?

That sounds like a good start, but I'd add a little more fun. We all need a bit of fun, right? And I'm more interested by what will happen after. I think we're all here for a reason. We met on purpose. Future generation will need to hear this tale, I'm sure it will be epic!

You're about as crazy as my aunt Moira, old man. So I guess you're okay. Take that as a compliment.

### A Little Tale

This event does not appear to have a trigger and occurs randomly.

Kari! A little tale has come to my mind lately, I think you'd like it, do you want to hear it?

* **No. Way.**

At the moment, I'd rather be savagely molested by Bjorn's men... I'm pretty sure it would be quicker and less painful than listening to one of your stories. And it would kill me all the same. I don't know what makes you think I'd like to hear your crap. Is it because I'm not sleeping yet? Do you think I need lullabies? I'm not a child Cisse, in case you didn't notice. So please go swing that instrument of yours in someone else's face before I shove it up your ass!

* Cisse: -10 to opinion of Kari
* Kari: -20 to opinion of Cisse

* **Not now. Counting sheep will do...**

I'm trying to sleep. Which means I need silence, not music.

Silence, yes, yes... Silence is the music of the soul. Only then, when you're alone and everything's quiet, you can hear spirits singing.

Not sure I want to... I only hear an old man's ramblings...

This could be one of your ancestors talking. Listen carefully. They may teach you something. You may learn the language of the night, the secret tongue of the ones before you. You may learn long lost words of wisdom, whispered by unsung heroes. You may... Kari? Are you sleeping, child?

* Kari: -  Fatigue

### The Tortoise and the Porridge

This event does not appear to have a trigger and occurs randomly.

So, Kari, how is it going?

I'm in a foul mood and you're definitely not improving it, old man.

Like they say, if someone tries to swallow a whole coconut, he trusts his anus entirely!

Woooooot? By Thor... So gross! How can you know so much stupid stuff, old man?

That's part of my job. I can tell you the story of how the tortoise's dick fell off. It happened long before the tortoise broke his back because of the dog's mother, but that is another story. The dog and his mother were cooking a feast of delicious hot porridge, and the tortoise followed the smell. He wanted all of the porridge for himself, so he told the dogs that the king wanted to see them immediately. The dogs left in a hurry, and the tortoise began to eat as fast as he could, for the dog would be back soon. Soon, he heard the dog family approaching, but there was still a lot of oatmeal left in the pot. So the tortoise filled his pants with hot oatmeal to carry it quickly without anyone noticing. But when the dogs arrived, they asked the tortoise to stay for lunch, and convinced him to stay. Eventually, the porridge was so hot that the tortoise just had to pull off his pants. Everybody was shocked when he pulled of his pants to reveal steaming hot porridge. The porridge had burned his groin so badly that his dick fell off and in fact, never grew back again.