Making camp/Moonlight talk

Here's how making camp and the moonlight talk goes in *Thomas and Twilight Sparkle meet Shrek*.

[we then fade into the next scene as the team are now in a forest as Donkey is asking Fiona certain questions]

Donkey: Okay, okay here's another, question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?

Fiona: You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your...

[Then Shrek shoves her]

Fiona: Hey! [sighs] The sooner we get to Duloc, the better

Minka Mark: Oh, you'll really like there. It's marvelous!

James: And it has a huge castle.

Fiona: And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Farquaad. What's he like?

Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess. [puts her down] Men of Farquaad's stature are in *short* supply. [laughs]

Donkey: Oh, no, Shrek. There are those who think *little* of him.

[They both begin laughing as Shrek washes his face]

Pepper Clark: Yeah, you could also say he has a *small* opinion to the world!

[Pepper then laughs hard as she falls onto her back]

Fiona: Stop it! Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad!

Edward: Well, he is a good ruler as a Lord. But I don't know about a king.

Shrek: Yeah? Well, maybe you're right princess. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow.

Fiona: Tomorrow? (looks back at the setting sun) It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?

Shrek: No... that'll take *longer*! We can keep going.

Mighty Joe: Besides, for all we know that dragon could've gotten free by now! We can't let her have a chance to get us again!

Sylveon: Plus, we have to keep to schedule, we can't keep Farquaad waiting.

Fiona: But, (stutters) There's robbers in the woods!

Donkey: Whoa, time out Shrek! Camp is definitely startin' to sound good!

Espeon: Besides, I need my beauty sleep! I'm ready to take a rest!

Rarity: And if there are robbers in these woods, there's telling what they could do to the Princess or ladies like me!

Rachel: Yeah, or someone fashionable like me!

Glaceon: Or girls like us!

Shrek: Hey, come on! I'm *scarier* than anything we're goin' to see in this forest!

Jenny: Plus, no robber would do anything to *us*! One quick sweep of a Lightsaber will get them racing off like cowards.

Pete: Yeah, so will you guys quit being like sissies?

Fiona: (storms in the front of the group) I need to find somewhere to camp, ***NOW!!!***

[a bunch of birds are heard flying away as the team look in shock at Fiona and then to each other and back at Fiona.]

Peter: Okay, we'll make camp.

[we then sideswipe to the next scene where Shrek pushes a rock asside showing an empty, compact cave]

Shrek: Hey, over here!

Donkey: Shrek, we can do better than that! Now, I don't think this is fit for a Princess!

Princess Cadance: Hey, it looks fine to me. I would be fine with sleeping in something like this.

Rarity: Well, I wouldn't! It's dirty, with dust, cobwebs, and (shudders) bugs!

Fiona: (nervously looking at the sunset) [gasps] No, no! It's perfect! (stutters) It just needs a few homey touches.

Shrek: "Homey touches"? (looks at Donkey) Like what?

Jolteon: I hope it's not fancy furniture. Or even a bed. We don't have anything like that! And we can't get such things out here!

Leafoen: Maybe she just needs a...

[then we hear the sound of bark cracking and then we move to Fiona, who has ripped off a piece of bark from a tree]

Fiona: A door.

Bertie: Oh, okay. That's alright.

Fiona: Well, Gentlemen, and Ladies; I bid thee good night. (walks into the cave and covers the hole with the bark door)

Donkey: Um, You want me to come in there and read you a bedtime story? Cause I will.

Fiona: I said, "good night!"

Penny Ling: Uh, good night.

Vinnie Terrio: Don't let the bedbugs bite! Oh wait, there are *no* bedbugs in caves.

[Then Shrek pushes back the rock]

Donkey: Shrek, what are you doing?

Shrek: [chuckles] I just... you know... Oh, come on, I was just kidding!

[we then fade into the next scene where it's night time as campfire has been lite and the team, Shrek, and Donkey are stargazing]

Shrek: And uhhh.... that one! That's throwback. The only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields.

Donkey: Right, yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?

Twilight Sparkle: Stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories.

Shrek: Twilight's Right. Look, [points to some stars] there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for. [chuckles]

Donkey: Alright, now I know you're making this up.

Shrek: No, [points to the stars] look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench.

Vinnie Terrio: I don't see it.

Donkey: All I see is just a bunch of little dots!

Shrek: You know Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it.

Donkey: [yawns] Hey, Shrek. What will we do when we get our swamp anyway?

Shrek: *Our* swamp?

Donkey: You know, when we're through rescuing the princess, and all that stuff.

Shrek: We? Donkey, there's no "we." There's no "our." There's just *me* and *my* swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.

Shining Armor: A wall?

Donkey: You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.

Shrek: No, do ya think?

Donkey: Are you hidin' something?

Shrek: Never mind, Donkey.

Donkey: Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?

Shrek: No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things.

Donkey: Why don't you want to talk about it?

Shrek: Why do you want to talk about it?

Donkey: Why are you blocking?

Shrek: I'm not blocking.

Donkey: Oh, yes, you are.

Shrek: Donkey, I'm warning you.

Donkey: Who you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek, who?

Pepper Clark: Yeah, who do you hate Shrek? Who are you trying to keep out, huh?

Shrek: **EVERYONE! OKAY?!**

[in the back, we see Fiona open the door slightly]

Donkey: Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.

Shrek: Oh! For the love of Pete!

Donkey: Hey, what's your problem, Shrek? What you got against the whole world anyway, huh?

Shrek: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" [sighs deeply] They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.

[Fiona then figures she was too hard on the team as she closes the door as Donkey goes up to Shrek]

Donkey: You know what? When we meet; I didn't think you were just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.

Pinkie Pie: And neither did us, Shreky.

Shrek: Yeah, I know.

Donkey: So uh, are there any donkeys out there?

Shrek: Well, there's uhmm... Gabby, the small and annoying.

Donkey: Okay, I see him, it's that big shiny one right there.

Puffer: That's the Moon, you stinker.

Donkey: Oh.

Hank: But we can tell you about some other consolations we know of.

[Then it fades to Lord Farquaad's castle who's in his bed]

Farquaad: Do it again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess.

Mirror: [moans in annoyance as he shows Fiona again]

Farquaad: [drinks his drink] Ah, perfect. [he then shyly covers his chest as if Fiona is really there as he continues to gaze at Fiona]