Ushiel 18, 1623

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 Ushiel 18, 1623
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 Roar of the Dragon!
The Metallic Tribunes

 Lets Get A Little "Frisky"

 Host:

 Mr. Flintgranite, would you mind explaining what it is that you do for a living?

 Mr. Flintgranite:

 Of course. I run the local smut shop here in Traetorian. Frisky Business. We are right next door to Storybound, the local bookstore. *(Whispers) Our material is better than theirs.*

 Host:

 Do you get a lot of business here? Your shop is still open, so there must be enough people that need smut to keep your shop going.

 Mr. Flintgranite:

 As a matter of fact, we **do** get a lot of business here. My shop is known far and wide as the **BEST** smut shop out there!

 Host:

 That is quite the claim to fame, how do you know that you truly are the best?

 Mr. Flintgranite:

 I'm glad you asked Altalas. The key in telling that you are the best shop on the continent is that you have travelers come from the farthest reaches of the continent to visit **YOUR** store. We live in Traetorian, a city that is 99% populated by dwarven folk like myself. Just earlier today, my shop was visited by a lovely drow girl. What she was doing buying smut at such a young age beats me, but she must have come quite a distance because I've never seen her or any drow couples in the city that would produce such offspring, so, she must have been a traveler.

 Oh, there was also that odd interracial couple that was here just before the drow mistress. They seemed to know exactly what they were coming in to get, but they did specifically ask for my *professional* opinion on things that would keep the bedroom adventures interesting. The leonin woman didn't seem to be too interested in our leonin smut, but judging by her mate, a young wood elf, she was probably more interested in our interracial content. What they do in their own bedroom is none of my concern, but it **IS** my business to help them enjoy themselves in whatever means that may be. You know what they say, "Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole damn chicken."

 Host:

 Well, you've convinced me. What would you recommend for a novice like myself?

 Mr. Flintgranite:

 My recommendation is to just jump right into it. There is a new and upcoming author who is writing some remarkable stuff, so I'd recommend her first book in her first trilogy, "The Wizard and I".

 Host:

 Thank you again for taking the time to meet with me Mr. Flintgranite. I wish you the best of luck in keeping your incredibly successful business running smoothly!

 Murderer of the Murdered

 Deep in the dark woods surrounding a small village, the predator stalked around waiting for its prey to wander far enough away from civilization. The lion waited and watched for just the right moment. The moment that it could sever its prey's neck with one swift movement. The time was coming nigh. Her victim stepped into range, she pounced! She grabbed his head in her large powerful paws and snapped his neck in two. The now lifeless corpse of the once living body fell to the ground never to move again. So the predator is victorious over its victim.

 But wait! The predator leaves its victims corpse lying on the ground. Was this a kill for sport? Was it a kill from passion? Was it a kill to protect others? So many questions and so few answers!

 The body remained motionless on the ground, oddly enough, there was no blood, and the body already seemed to be mangled, but not at the lioness's hand.

 It would seem that the lioness is not in fact a murder of the living, but a murderer of the murdered! (Which I guess is a good thing... We don't want a zombie apocalypse on hour hands.)

 Discovered!

 It is with a heavy heart that I write this article today, for today, tragedy struck!

 Most would not consider what I'm about to reveal as a tragedy, but then again, I am not "most people", and will in fact grieve for the time being about what has just occurred.

 Anyways, on my travels today, while trying to admire the handy-work of Pit People, my presence was discovered! They discovered me! I, the expert of stealth that I am, was seen in my hiding place by none other than Natara. She must be a lot keener to her surroundings than I gave her credit for, for such a feat is not accomplished easily. It usually takes the best of the best to discover my presence, and for that, I tip my hat to you Natara. You were a formidable adversary. It would also appear as though Pit People do not like the publicity that they have been receiving and promptly tried to engage with me. That is NOT the way that I handle my business though, and was forced to use the last charge of my flash bomb of returning.

 Congratulations Natara, you have won the battle, but the war is far from over. Until we meet again, I bid you adieu.

 This Week on "Don't Forget to Leave a Note!"

 New Note Quotes

 After sneaking out of the small village of Pendle:

  Ziore: You didn't have to follow me.

  Nox: Yeah, but you didn't leave a note.

  Ziore: Queens don't have to leave notes.

 After giving Nox and Natara some privacy to talk in Pendle:

  Ziore: I'm going to go walk about, consider this my formal notice.

 After buying an enchanted gondala from Tatash:

  Natara: Tatash, if they stop by here, will you tell them that we just went back to the hotel? That's leaving a note right?

 Pre-existing Note Quotes

 After Kozos went on his shopping spree in Trulas, he returned to Ye Old Barracuda to find Natara, Nox and Ziore sitting at a table eating breakfast:

  Ziore: Welcome back Kozos, where have you been?

  Kozos: Out doing some shopping.

  Ziore: Did you leave a note that you were going to be out?

  Natara: HE DIDN'T LEAVE A NOTE!

 After seeing his "father" disappear behind a wall of fire:

  Natara: How are you doing Nox?

  Nox: I'm going to jump off a cliff.

  Kozos: You'll have to leave a note first.

 Written by Altalas Orrina