Transcript/Ride Em' Rabbit

\*It shows the desert with a tumble weed going past a sign. Then suddenly a man walks up to the sign in cowboy boots, and then it pans and zooms up to show that it's the Silly Rabbit in a cowboy outfit.\*

Narrator: It was a hot day in the town of Portal 9. When a stranger came to town.

The Silly Rabbit: Howdy folk! \*He smiles and his teeth shine as he gives a thumbs up to the audience.\* \*Looks at a wanted poster on a pole with Tibar on it.\* Wanted: Tibar the Outlaw. For stealing the town supply of Trix Yogurt? How did he do that? I’ve been trying to get that stuff for. \*counts it up on an abacus.\* Let’s see 400, 500, 600, **YEARS**! Come on Harvey! Let’s ride! \*Jumps on him backwards, but then is seen forward again approaching Portal 9.\*

\*Missy is playing the piano and singing in a saloon.\*

Missy: My heart is broke. My horse is dead. I wish I could just go to bed! \*The Silly Rabbit parks Harvey outside of the saloon but there's a shovel next to them which accidentally hits Harvey in the face.\* \*Missy starts playing and singing faster.\* But I gotta play this piano yeah I gotta play this piano which I hate, which I hate, which I hate more than, KATE! \*Speaking and normal voice.\* No offense Kate. \*Kate growls in annoyance.\* \*The rabbit enters the salooon for questioning, and Missy plays even faster and louder.\* I gotta sing this playing this piano piano piano piano **PA-OOOOOOOOOO-PIANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!**

Silly Rabbit: Hey kid. Will you give it a break will ya?

Missy: \*normal voice.\* A break? \*starts talking really fast and continuously.\* I’ve been playing the piano for 3 months 4 weeks and 11 hours I could really use a break, cause sometimes my fingers get all nurly and curly and stuff, and it’s not that I hate playing the piano but it’s just that when play night and day. Not the actual duration but the actual time measurement night and day! 24/7 really makes a girl really go-

Silly Rabbit: Woah there little lady! \*zips her mouth like a zipper literally.\* Just keep playing! You’re doing fine! Shesh. Howdy folk, I’m fixing. Uh. Catching an outlaw!

Bob: Now old your horses stranger!

Silly Rabbit: \*is holding his horse, Harvey with his hands.\* Okay. Just make it quick!

Bob: I’m the law around these here parts so if there’s outlaws to be found I’m!

\*burps\* the rabbit.

Silly Rabbit: Alright. Have you seen *this* guy? \*Holds up his picture. and Bob screams in horror.\*

Bob: \*stammering\* Well. You know. On a second thought. That guy looks scary! You know you seem to have a pretty good lead on this. Why don’t you be sheriff? \*He forcefully sticks his badge onto the Silly Rabbit.\*

Silly Rabbit: Ow!

Bob: Sorry boss. Being a Law Man ain’t easy.

Silly Rabbit: Now for the questions.

Missy: \*She stops playing and unzips her mouth.\* Oh pick me pick me! I’m smart! Besides these guys are just props. See? \*Knocks over a guy with a drink revealing him to just be cardboard prop.\* \*goes back to talking really fast and continuously.\* And props are just sort of prop-y I mean personally I’d like them to be- \*He zips her mouth again.\*

Silly Rabbit: Hey there sweetheart. You look like a rabbit who knows things big ears and all.

Sandra: Sweetheart? Don’t bother cowboy.

Silly Rabbit: Hey! What is the of Poughkeepsie?

Sandra: Mm mmm.

Silly Rabbit: What is the seventh planet to the sun?

Sandra: (getting fed up) Mmm mmm!!!!

Silly Rabbit: Where is Tibar and where is he taking the yogurt?

Sandra: (loosing it) **29,872, URANUS, AND TIBAR HAS TAKEN THE TOWN'S ENTIRE TRIX YOGURT TO BLAST FUEL HIS MIND CONTROL RAY!!!!!!** And he’s headed for the border in his Stage Coach!!!

Silly Rabbit: What stage coach?

\*A wooden arrow saying, “That Stage Coach!” Appears pointing time Tibar just out the window leaving with the town supply of Trix yogurt.\*

Sandra: That stage coach!

Silly Rabbit: Ah! \*Goes and gets Harvey.\*

\*Harvey, the Silly Rabbit’s horse is playing cards with some random guy on a table (possibly another prop), and he grabs him to ride him to go and get Tibar. Harvey is now riding on the Silly Rabbit instead.\*

Silly Rabbit: Harvey! Let’s think diet! \*they dash off into the distance to chase down Tibar.\* Did you get new horse shoes?

Bob: Who was that Silly Rabbit?

Sandra: I don’t know Bob, but I’m pretty sure he’s one of the good guys.

\*Bob farts.\*

\*it fades out, and then cuts to Tibar pulling his stagecoach to the border.\*

Narrator: We now return to Tibar, with his stage coach with all of the town supply of Trix Yogurt, to fuel his mind control beam.

\*Moment stops and Tibar stops his stage coach.\*

Tibar: And… We’re gonna take a time out here, it’s actually more of a ray. You know, it’s not a beam, a beam is something else I didn’t have the budget for it.

Narrator: Whatever, Ray.

Tibar: Rae? Who’s Rae?

Narrator: Whatever.

\*Moment resumes.\*

Tibar: Hoho! Pretty soon I’ll use all of this Trix Yogurt to fuel my mind control ray and rule the world!

Silly Rabbit: Not so fast Tibar!

Tibar: As I was saying, "Once I was"-

Silly Rabbit: You stop that! And stop this coach!

Tibar: You’ll have to catch me slowpoke!

\*Tibar pulls the lever back on his horse to the setting that says, “Yeehaw!!!” Which causes fire to blast from the horse’s ass and makes him rocket forward as Tibar leaves the Silly Rabbit and Harvey in the dust.\*

Silly Rabbit: Don’t worry Harvey! I got a plan!

\*Harvey rides the Silly Rabbit again, and they ride off into the distance as it fades out and then back in to show them on the train tracks.\*

Silly Rabbit: No one can resist a Damsel in Distress. \*puts on a dress and a wig with lipstick, and then ties himself up in a rope and then lays down on the train track at the border for the oncoming train.\* (Falsetto) HELP! HELP!

Tibar: Whats this? A damsel in distress? Even someone as evil as me can’t resist a damsel in distress you know, and who knows she might assist me on my quest for \*zooms out to show the horizon somewhat rounded.\* (yelling) **WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!**

Silly Rabbit: (Still Falsetto) HELP ME!

\*It shows the Train getting closer.\*

————

Tibar: So tootsie? How do you feel about \*yelling again with the same rounded horizon.\* **WOOOOOORRRLLLLDD DOMINATION!?!?!?!??!!**

Silly Rabbit: Touchy! I mean \*back in girl voice.\* Ahhh. I mean, ahhh. I just like it when you talk about Wooooorrld Domination!

Tibar: Actually it’s \*yelling again in the exact same tone and everything as before.\* **WOOOORRRRRLLLLLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!** \*back in normal voice.\* But close enough. Well today’s your lucky day Sugar Dumpling, cause I am here to rescue you!

Silly Rabbit: What? Rescue me?

Tibar: Yeah rescue you.

Silly Rabbit: What? Because I’m a woman? You think I need rescuing?

Tibar: That’s not what I meant!

Silly Rabbit: It is the 19th century you know. I should be rescuing YOU!

Tibar: Me? Hoho! But I’m not in distress.

Silly Rabbit: Oh! This dress? \*puts the outfit on Tibar very quickly. Thus him revealing himself and taking off his Mexican bandit outfit.\* Here you can borrow it!

\*The oncoming train is getting closer.\*

Silly Rabbit: Now just lie down here. Cute bunny ears!

\*He tie Tibar up with a rope with him in the dress and the train is very close to them now.\*

Tibar: Oh that’s adorable.

Silly Rabbit: Now I will rescue you! \*cellphone rings and he answers it as Tibar gets ran over and flattened like a pancake rather than being killed.\* Yeah. Love you too mom! Oh sorry I had to take that. \*grunt\* Evil Outlaw is that you? \*he returns to normal form.\*

Tibar: Yes it’s me! We will now finish this the old fashioned way! PILLOW FIGHT! \*He returns back to his Mexican Bandit form but now dons a pillow.\*

Both: Haayyeeeeeee YAAAAAA!

\*they have a pillow fight.\*

\*they pause.\*

Tibar: Not in the face! Not in the face!

\*The narrator sneezes.\*

Both: Gesudeit!

Narrator: (sniffly) Uh thank you. Uh please. Continue.

Silly Rabbit: Not the face! Not the face!

\*he smacks him.\* Hoho! You’re finished boy now just see me in my quest for WOOORRRLD DOMINATION! \*Thinks he won but he gets hit by the train. Leaving the Silly Rabbit with the stolen Trix yogurt.\*

Silly Rabbit: (looking at the audience) Nothing but a train!

\*It shows Tibar with is pillow stuck on the train in defeat. It then fades out and then fades back in to see the Silly Rabbit returning the stolen Yogurt back to the town.\*

Silly Rabbit: Hey sweetheart, I got the Trix Yogurt! Y’all have any spoons?

Sandra: My hero! \*she kisses Bob instead.\*

\*He falls over and farts.\*

Bob: Aw shucks folks!

Silly Rabbit: Well, the gassy guy got the girl, but at least I got the Trix Yogurt! \*He holds it up but then drops it when the, “The End”. Text appears.\* Oh give me a break!