Goldman

**WARNING: This is it. We have reached the peak of heresy. This is the most powerful character that ever has, or ever will, exist on any of the three wikis. If Gren reads this and makes something even worse, it should be deleted. This character is an actual joke with a punchline, not something made out of spite. Said "punchline" is that this character *does not actually exist*. His ridiculously stupid feats of godly power are just claims made by the cult who made him up. Please do not ban me.**

## Goldman

### Affiliation

None, doesn't actually exist

**Goldman, The Most Stronkest Thing Ever,** is an unimaginably powerful entity said to hail from a parallel "alpha-infiniverse." He is said to be the creator of the McGuffinjira Gods and the one responsible for the Gibberishmons' ascension into their God states. His power is said to be so great that Ultraman IPius, Ultraman Oneupus at full power, Hyper Zetton Zedscythe's final form, Jugrus Jaggler]'s Everything form, The Devil, and **ESPECIALLY** the Titan Princes and Void Eye are all mere specks compared to his simply incomprehensible power.

However, this is all merely talk between the members of the **Cult of Gold**, once called the Cult of Gibb, who are all completely insane.

## History

I'd give you guys a long, complicated, preachy backstory, but I'll cut to the truth.

Goldman's "existence" was revealed when the Cult of Gibb captured a Gibberishmons and ~~violated it~~ experimented upon it in an attempt to cause it to ascend into a "second" God Gibberishmons which they could use to overthrow the Titan Princes and convert the omniverse to their religion. However, when something went wrong, the Gibberishmons' gibberish text, by pure coincidence, rearranged itself into two words:

***PRAISE GOLDMAN.***

Within seconds, the Cult of Gibb realized the "truth." God Gibberishmons was merely an envoy of something even greater, and even more stupidly overpowered. The cult quickly set about rewriting its bibles and records, changing the McGuffinjira Gods into a race of overpowered beings, as they already were, but now creations and underlings of the one true God: Goldman himself.

Feats Goldman is said to be capable of, or even have already done, are many, including:

* Blinking the Void Eye out of existence, a feat not even Ellagai could accomplish
* Purifying The Devil of evil and turning it into an embodiment of good
* Defeating Thomas' forces single-handedly
* Reviving every dead soul in Necropolis
* Beating Ultraman Forkknife in a Fortnite Battle Royale
* Killing Ultraman Orb Armageddon and absorbing his Infinity Crystals for Goldman's own use
* Surviving the strongest attacks of every member of the Content Family and their Acolytes performed at once
* Successfully pulling a "No U" on Ultra Hella Gay Gruebe Generation LIII (Note: Didn't kill Gruebe, instead caused him to become twice as gay and twice as powerful. Goldman isn't sorry.)
* Deflecting and later overpowering Hyper Zetton Zedscythe's Neo One-Up Ray
* Creating a parallel timeline where Kitonium Saltfox was spared by Ultraman Trope and Trend, then finished off by Meta Kit
* Determining Ultramxn Wokeius' gender
* Writing a Sol story where Sol's incarnation ultimately loses the scenario
* Identifying the user who caused BigD to leave the UltraFan Discord
* Preventing ULTRAMAN SHINING SHINING SHINING SHINING NEO LEGACY BLIZZARD CRAYEA YUGO AIGO HEREGO ZERO XENON SUPREME from fusing
* Preventing OMEGAMAN SUPER DUPER MEGA HYPER ULTRA NEO LEGACY BLIZZARD SHINING TITAN ULTIMATE SUPREME SUPREME SUPREME SUPREME TRANSCENDENT ZERO SUPER-SAIYAN XENON from fusing
* Preventing both of the previously mentioned abominations from fusing at the same time
* Breaking Ultraman Plot Armor's plot armor
* One-upping Ultraman Oneupus by himself
* Having an alternate reality counterpart who is weaker than Ultraman Weak
* Replicating One Kick Leo's exercise routine and multiplying it infinitely, to the point where his kicks became infinitely more powerful than OKL's fanboys claim OKL's kicks are in the early revisions of his page
* Saving planet Apple Chicken from the likes of Devil God Fanegon before True Tiga could
* Doing all the heretic stuff Ultraman Trope did but, like, infinity times better

An avatar of the Titan Prince Sol, at one point or another, became aware of the existence of the Cult of Gibb, now calling themselves the Cult of Gold. Rather than exterminate them for their heresy, he found their worship of the clearly fictional deity "amusing" and chose to allow them to continue to live and praise the non-existent entity.

## Powers and Abilities

* **Gold Power:** An attack with a deceptively simple name, even the Titan Princes and Void Eye are said to not be able to grasp the true form of it. It's said to be capable of wiping out every other OP character on all three wikis in one shot when used at the bare minimum of its power.
* **The Gold Blade:** A weapon, once again with a deceptively simple name. It's said that one stab could kill everyone who opposes the Cult of Gold, specifically Sol, Cdr, Furno and **ESPECIALLY** Kit.
* ***FUCK YOU, ULTRAFAN MULTIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!:*** Unleashing his power, Goldman throws a cosmic temper tantrum said to be capable of destroying every zeta-cosmiverse in the giga-galactiverse.
* **Unsurmountable Omnipotent Omnipotence:** Goldman is said to possess such an impossibly high level of omnipotence that he is said to be capable of not only casually breaking the fourth wall, but actually *destroying* it.
* **I am enlightened.:** Goldman's every action is said to be justified and for the greater good, excusing him from even the most unforgivable crimes. Some members of the cult speculate that he may actually be a lesbian.
* **Blatant Plagiarism:** Goldman is said to be capable of using all the overpowered abilities of every other OP character ever made, but so much more powerful it can't even be described.
* **Exempt from all cosmic rules:** A trait he is said to share with his creations.
* **Things:** Stuff, but said to be so overpowered you can't even begin to comprehend it.
* **Stuff:** Things, but said to be so overpowered you can't even begin to comprehend them.
* **Being infinity squared times more powerful and infinity squared times better at everything than anything all the other people, who are all meanies, ever have or ever will create:** Yes, in theory.

### Weaknesses

* Goldman's only weakness is the fact that he does not actually exist.

## Trivia

* This is a parody of a thing.
	+ God damn it, they made something even worse.
* If you claim your character is more powerful or better at anything than Goldman, you are wrong. Even if you're Gren.
* ***This character, partially because he canonically doesn't exist, but mainly because of the sheer heresy that could be committed using him, is not to be used in anything. Ever.***
	+ Seriously. Don't do it.
* In addition, **DO NOT** start debates between him and the other OP characters. He would win, it's part of the joke.
* **DO NOT** fuse this character with anyone, or have him bestow a portion of his power on another character. **Ever.**
* I actually have an idea for an RP scenario revolving around him. Not him for real, of course, but his followers, with our Ultras somehow getting caught up in their rituals. I'll probably write it on the Cringe Wiki at some point.
* Goldman is infinitely more powerful than Billy.