F is for Halloween

**F is for Halloween** is the fourth episode of season 1.

## Opening Scene

The episode begins with Kevin, Bill, and Maureen watching a cheesy Halloween movie on TV. In the kitchen, Vivian awards Sue with an answering machine for the #1 sales-woman for September. She then offers Sue a promotion where they would pay her in money rather than Free Plast-a-Ware bowls. Sue at first wonders how Frank would feel. Frank then arrives, telling Susan he has big news. Vivian leaves,but not before encountering Vic who had a sexual encounter in high school when he was a student and she was a lunch lady. He tries to tell the family that Mr. Dunbarton awarded him the "Tie Tac of Excellence", but they are too fascinated by the answering machine. During dinner, they get their first message from Bob Pogo demanding Frank deal with an employee slow down at the airport.

## Plot

Bill is excited for Halloween but is threatened by Jimmy Fitzsimmons that he will be beaten up if he wears a costume. He calls Phillip and they both decide to go out in costume anyways. Bill is then spotted by Jimmy and his cronies and subsequently beaten while Philip cowers in his house. Bill manages to escape and run back into the house with Jimmy threatening to beat him up again if he leaves the house again.

Meanwhile, Kevin is trying to work on his history assignment but can't find any peace in the house. He tries to walk to the library to answer the last question on his history homework, but is distracted by his friends. While getting drunk, he is given the answer to his question on his homework by Bolo, who reads the presidential trivia on the label of a White House Beer can. Kevin declaring himself a "fucking genious", finds the answer to the last question, thus completing his homework.

When Vivian calls to offer Sue the position, Frank answers the phone and lies saying Sue told him she doesn't want the job, before rushing over to the airport. While showing his pals how the answering machine works he realizes it records every phone call. He hurries home in a panic, but Sue has already heard what he said to Vivian and leaves him alone on Halloween. Frank tries to deal with the chaos at home, before tricking Maureen into coming with him to find Sue. Frank eventually finds her at the batting cages, where she tells him she took the job.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Frank Murphy
* Sue Murphy
* Kevin Murphy
* Bill Murphy
* Maureen Murphy
* Jimmy Fitzsimmons
* Phillip Bonfiglio
* Vivian Saunders
* Bob Pogo
* Chauncey Roosevelt
* Carl
* Red

### Minor Roles

* Waffler
* Vic Reynolds
* Stan Snyder
* Ern
* Ben
* Kenny
* Goomer
* Lex
* Bolo
* Claire
* Anthony Bonfiglio (Mentioned)
* Jesus Christ (Costume)
* Adolf Hitler (Costume)

## Quotes

**Bill:** (stammers) Hey, Jimmy. I like your costume. Are you going out as a hobo?

**Jimmy:** These are my Sunday clothes, dick licker! They're from the Johnny Carson collection. And trick-or-treat is for femmes! If I catch you two dressing up tonight, I'll skin you alive and make your pelts into a comforter. And I'll fuck your mom on it! And she'll say, "Ooh! That's the best pelt fucking I'd ever get, Jimmy!".

**Phillip:** My mom wouldn't do that.

**Jimmy:** I will gut you!

[Bill and Phillip run away]

**Jimmy:** Yeah, that's right, run away! I'll be watching.

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**Rosie:** (testing out Sue's new answering machine)Hello there! You are a shit-eating scab turncoat.

**Kevin:** It's for Dad!

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**Kids:** Trick or Treat!

**Frank:** Oh, look at that, Fat Albert.

**Kid Wearing a Fat Albert "Costume":** I'm not wearing a costume.

**Frank:** Well you don't get any fuckin' candy.

**Maureen:** Daddy, the oven made a noise!

**Frank:** Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming! The rest of you, only one candy per kid. It's an honor's system. Got it?

**Kids:** Yes, sir.

**Random Kid:** How dumb is this guy?

**Frank:** Hey, hey! Put it back! I hope somebody puts a razor blade in your apple!

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**Maureen:** (wearing a Colt Luger mask) Tonight on Colt Luger: the mystery of the missing mother.

**Frank:** No, no, no, no, no. Colt Luger is a man. You are a girl. Take that off.

**Maureen:** Cocksucker.

**Frank:** What? Where did you hear that? Oh, right. Hey, when your mother gets home, don't tell her I used that word.

**Kevin:** What if she never comes home?

**Frank:** D'OH, YOU LITTLE COCKSUCKER! (to Maureen) Your brother made me say that!

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**Kids:** Trick or treat!

**Frank:** (speaking in an Italian accent while putting chunks of ziti into the kids' bags) Hey, here you go! Happy Halloween from the Murphalettis.

**Kid #1:** Hey!

**Kid #2:** You're melting my candy!

**Kid #3:** You suck!

**Frank:** Yeah, yeah, arrivederci.

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**Maureen:** (speaking in a German accent while heil saluting while cosplaying as Adolf Hitler) Look, Daddy, I'm Mr. Holtenwasser.

**Frank:** (gasps) Take that off right now. Mr. Holtenwasser is not a Nazi.

**Kevin and Bill:** He's a Satan worshiper.

**Frank:** He is not that either. He is not scary. He's just a sad old man whose family was butchered in the war.

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**Kevin:** Dad, which president served the shortest term?

**Frank:** How should I know?

**Kevin:** It's the last question, I gotta get it.

**Frank:** That's what the library's for.

**Kevin:** Will you give me a ride?

**Frank:** Kevin, are you blind? Look at all this shit I gotta do with your mom gone! Take your bike!

**Kevin:** Somebody stole my seat!

**Frank:** Then walk! I know you got feet because they came out of your mother first!

**Kevin:** Ah, that's so gross!

**Frank:** Oh, fuck you, I was there!

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**Frank:** Who needs ziti? Dinner is served.

**Maureen:** (wearing a Jesus costume on a cross)♪ Meet Lord Jesus ♪

**Frank:** Take that off. We'll both go to hell!

**Maureen:** (puts on a mustache) Can I be Nazi Jesus?

**Frank:** What is wrong with you?!

## Trivia

* **Title Reference:** A combination of the show's title and the holiday Halloween, indicating that this is a Halloween special.
* Frank proves to be rather uncultured, when talking to Maureen in this episode.
	+ Frank tells Maureen "there are no girl vampires", however several female vampires did exist in pop culture before 1973 including the film *Werewolf vs the Vampire Woman* from 1971, Lilly Munster from *The Munsters*, a sitcom from the 60's, and Countess Marya Zaleska from the 1936 Universal horror film *Dracula's Daughter*.
	+ Frank also tells Maureen there are no girl astronauts. Again, he is wrong. The first woman in space was Valentina Tereshkova, who made her first voyage in 1963. However, Tereshkova was Russian, and therefore is called a cosmonaut not an astronaut.

### Continuity

* This episode takes place on October 31, 1973, ten days after the events of the previous episode.
* The Murphys first get their answering machine. Sue gets it, courtesy of Vivian as a reward for selling the most "Plast-a-ware".
* Kevin starts improving his grades, after falling out in "The Trough".
* Carl and Red continue working on their script for Fuck School.
* Phillip said he touched the soft spot on his brother's head when he was a baby, and he believes this is what made him illiterate. He references to this again in "Mr. Murphy's Wild Ride".
* Phillip says he wishes Jimmy was dead. In "Pray Away", it's revealed he had a Kill Book, where he draws out his graphic murderous fantasies of murdering Jimmy and other people, who have bullied him.
* The threat Jimmy gave to Bill is the same one that Jimmy's sister, Bridget would make to Amy Jenkins in "Bring Me a Tooth".

### Cultural References

* Kevin tells his friends not to "Bogart that gourd", which is a reference to the expression "Don't Bogart that joint" which is a line in the song "Don't Bogart Me", popularised in the 1969 film *Easy Rider.* The phrase refers to Humphrey Bogart's on-screen smoking habits.
* Mr. Coconut is a parody of Mr. Peanut, the mascot of *Planters Peanuts*.