2020 Power Rankings-Week 5

## Introduction

Things are happening too fast for me to keep up and as soon as I hit publish on these rankings the information will be outdated. As of now, we're going to have the rare Tuesday night heartbreak game in the NFL. Sounds fun to me. But with uncertainty over whether that game is being played, will anyone risk starters for Bills/Titans.

Duck Punchers was famously without Derrick Henry in week four. Does he risk putting him in the starting lineup?

Josh Allen has been GBM's weapon of choice thus far, but with backup Matt Ryan playing at 1pm on Sunday, there really is no wiggle room if the Bills game is canceled Monday morning. And Patriots/Broncos being canceled puts even more pressure on Michael Thomas, coming off injury. Does GBM risk starting him with Jeudy, previously playing Monday as well, now off for the week?

Patriots/Broncos also disrupts plans for momma, who is hoping for a return of Cam Newton in the near future, the Shotti Bunch with Julian Edelman and Melvin Gordon III, and Papa's Posse with N'Keal Harry.

Paddock 9 will once again be without star WR's AJ Brown and Stefon Diggs if Titans/Bills can't go. Nate is already without Noah Fant due to injury, and Butt....well, somehow Butt has not been effected by any of these teams. He must be playing Commish this week.

## The COVID Conundrum Continues

Yeah, so this is getting worse. The only adjustment I have made so far is increasing flexibility for trades. Trades can be processed as quickly as 12 hours after being accepted. If things get even crazier (we're talking four/five games being canceled in one week) than I may authorize immediate trade processing, but for now I still want the league to be able to look at trades.

I also want to be transparent about the rules regarding a canceled season. If the season gets canceled in the next four weeks (prior to week 9) than everyone is going to get their money back for the year. If the season is delayed, I will hold on to see how things play out. If people want me to roll their dues into 2021, we can discuss that if/when something like this happens.

If week 9 is played, it triggers a 50% payout for the leading team if the season gets canceled before playoffs. Leading team=team in first place. Not highest scoring (unless highest scoring also has the best record). Thems the brakes, kids. I know a lot of people voted for dues to be returned, but it's only fair that if we play more than half the season, a winner get's 50% of the pot. We'll discuss more details if/when we reach and pass that point.

## The Commissioner's Cup

If a Glory Bowl is not played, there will not be a Glory Bowl champion. I still think the NFL season will continue and finish, but you never know. If it does not, the Commissioner's Cup will serve as the trophy for the 2020 season.

The Commissioner's Cup is an annual award given out to the winner of the LOC regular season. The team must either have the most wins or be tied for the most wins and own the points tie-breaker with any other teams sharing the record.

Duck Punchers (3) has won the most Commissioner's Cups. No team has won consecutive Commissioner's Cups. Three Commissioner Cup winners have gone on to win the Glory Bowl.

## Stat Chat

* RIPDab becomes the 4th team to reach 70 wins.
* Shotti becomes the 1st team to score over 200 points in 100 games.
* Sweet Dee becomes the first 4-0 team since 2013 (RIPDab).
* Sweet Dee's 4-game win streak is the longest in franchise history.
* Sweet Dee's four wins meet or exceed her total wins from four of her previous seven seasons.
* Momma becomes the 6th team to reach 60 regular season wins.
* GBM becomes the 5th team to reach 50 regular season losses.
* Shotti becomes the 9th team to reach 40 regular season losses.
* Papa ties Momma for the most weeks in last place (18).

## Matchup Recaps

* Sweet Dee once again takes it to GBM and is 4-1 in their last five games against the Commish (7-5). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* RIPDab catches a huge break and knocks off the TE-less former 1st place Duck Punchers (6-6). **Next Matchup: Week 9**
* momma puts a hurting on Papa and extends the already gaping series lead to avoid last place (12-6). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train still has not lost to Stupid Idiots since Sept. 2012 and gets a crucial win here (4-1). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* Paddock 9 wins a nailbiter and buries Shotti Bunch in the standings (4-8). **Next Matchup: Week 12**

## Trade Tracker

Finally, we have a trade in the LOC! I don't think we even had a trade in 2019 as our collective paranoia took over and we hid in our bunkers while Pat took his shitty 6-7 team to the promised land.

So obviously this trade is monumental. First place Sweet Dee traded away....god, it pains me to say this...traded away DK Metcalf to Pain Train. DK had broken 21 points in each of his first four games. It was definitely sell-high time for Metcalf, so I'm sure she got like Joe Mixon or some shit in return, right?

No, she got Josh Kelley, coming off a 9 rushes for 7 yards game last week, DJ Chark (coming off the best game of his career), and Darius Slayton who has struggled of late. My expert analysis, and mind you I'm 1-3 so my expert analysis means nothing, is that Kelley was the centerpiece of this trade. Dee lost Ekeler for the next 3-5 games, so she grabbed Kelley. The only problem is, Dee is on the fast track for 5-0. Ekeler will be back for playoffs. Dee really did not need to make a trade here. On the other hand, Pain Train now has Metcalf, Woods, Adams, and Julio Jones for wide receivers, and he was able to unload one of his Jags (he already has James Robinson).

I give the advantage in this trade to Chris by a mile, but we will trade track!

Below is an example of a tracked trade from 2018.

#### Trade Tracker - 2018 Trade

Starts:

* McCaffrey: 3
* Abdullah: 4
* Morris: 3

We will begin tracking starting with next week's rankings.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings is simply this: what if instead of matchups, the top five teams got a W every week and the bottom five took an L?

If that was the case, here is what the standings would look like today (I like doing this on seasons when I'm getting fucked every week):

Just as I suspected, I'm getting FUCKED.

## The Greatest Game - Week Four

Week four of 2020 saw some wild ones enter the pantheon of great games, including Paddock 9 vs. The Shotti Bunch. Shotti's Calvin Ridley dropped a touchdown, down 4 points to Pat, that would have won the matchup.

Week four also features the greatest scoring week in LOC history. In 2018, all ten teams broke 200 for the first time in one week.

But throughout history, for some reason, week four has been characterized by blowouts. And for that reason, we do have a rare blowout featured in the greatest games of all time.

### 2011 - RIPDab vs. Brak and Yellow

* Final Score: 300.55-188.27
* Why it's Nominated: RIPDab becomes the first team to break 300 in the LOC and does so despite four players scoring under 10 points.

It may not have the fireworks of other greatest games, but RIPDab broke a threshold that to this day is considered the greatest single game achievement for any team. Breaking 300 happens maybe twice a season and is a huge accomplishment. RIPDab was the first, and they did so despite C.J. Spiller (3.10), McCluster (6.80), Evan Moore (2.50) and Pittsburgh D (7.00). So how did they do it? 110.05 from Aaron Rodgers and another 38 from Hakeem Nicks. Sprinkle in 35.80 from Vincent Jackson and a dash of 36.80 from Wes Welker. Not only do you have yourself a wonderful time capsule of Nate's favorite players from 2011, but you have yourself a massive fantasy performance on September 27th of the 2011 NFL season.

### 2013 - Momma vs. Pain Train

* Final Score: 236.17-231.16
* Why it's Nominated: The defending champion takes down the undefeated juggernaut Pain Train in a QB showdown for the ages.

Momma, at 2-1, was coming off their miracle championship year in which they defeated GBM in the Glory Bowl by close to 200 points. But a new sheriff was in town, and it is a team already nominated for a greatest game: Pain Train and the Johnson Trio. But the Trio did not perform in week four, combining for just 47.03 (Andre accounting for 26 of that). But momma was having a poor day as well. AJ Green had just 13.10 out of a projected 22.56. His flex players combined for 14.81 out of a 34.75. But thanks to Tony Gonzalez (44.90), momma was still in it when Monday night came around. Peyton Manning had scored 58.85 for Pain Train, and momma needed more than that from Drew Brees...and got it. Brees threw 413 yards, 4 TDs, and sealed it in the fourth quarter for the win. It was a massive comeback to knock off the undefeated Pain Train. They would face off again in week 13 and finish 2nd and 3rd in the Festival of Champions.

### 2020 - Paddock 9 vs. The Shotti Bunch

* Final Score: 214.37-210.67
* Why it's Nominated: A MNF double-header leads to a pulse-pounding showdown that comes down to the very last play.

I struggled with the recency bias with this game, but it just has to be included thanks to the unusual circumstances. On Monday night, two games were played due to the COVID delay of the Patriots/Chiefs. This meant that Paddock 9 had Mahomes and Kelce going in one game, while Shotti had Rodgers, Edelman, and Ridley going between that game and the late ATL/GB showdown. Trailing most of Sunday, P9 took a slight lead on Sunday night thanks to McKinnon's 26.55. But with Mahomes and Kelce in a defensive showdown against New England, his lead was not enough. It took a fourth quarter explosion from the duo to pad a still frightingly narrow lead. Then Rodgers happened. 48.86 points off 4 YTDs and 327 yards and it looks inevitable that P9 would fall to the four-time champ. But amazingly, Calvin Ridley did not score a fraction of a point all night. Ridley was coming off games of 12, 10, and 13 targets, which he turned into 41, 37, and 26 points. Add in that Julio Jones was not playing and it seemed a lock he would get peppered. But he did not, except for a heave into the endzone with less than two minutes left that glanced off his fingertips and cost Shotti the game. It was incredible to watch.

## Power Rankings

It's taking me so long to do these rankings that it's almost time for next week's rankings. The actual ranking part almost seems like an after-thought these days, but oh well. Once again, let's blow through this:

### 1(1). Duck Punchers

Duck caught a bad break when he forgot to take Crowder out of his IR spot. Yahoo rules allow you to adjust your roster with an ineligible IR guy, making it possible to stash guys you aren't going to use for an extra week if need be. Only problem occurs when you need to make an add/drop, which Yahoo will not allow. Since Crowder played on TNF, Duck could not add a TE and had to play down a man against RIPDab. It does not change his status as a team to beat, but the Derrick Henry situation puts him in another bind.

### 2(2). Sweet Dee

Hard to move this team up when they arguably got worse after their trade with Pain Train, and losing Ekeler hurts trade or no trade. I don't understand why the best team would do a deal with the fantasy devil, but regardless: they are a playoff team this year and can't be docked too much in the overall rankings.

### 3(5). Paddock 9

Does this team have "IT"? Ranked just 7th in overall scoring, the team refuses to lose. This week they took a huge hit by starting Scotty Miller and whichever friend suggested they do that should be ashamed of themselves.

### 4(4). Garoppoblow Me

This team should be ashamed of themselves.

### 5(3). RIPDab

Somehow 2-2 with 3-2 within striking distance as they face the worst team in the LOC. Wins are wins, and you play the schedule in front of you, so no fault on RIP's part, but they may not face a legit challenger until their showdown with Sweet Dee in week 8. They need to rattle off wins now before they enter into the meat of their season.

### 6(7). Pain Train

Pain Train may have the most elite WR group ever assembled if they can all get healthy. With Kareem Hunt now the lead back in Cleveland and Joe Mixon starting to get going in Cincy, this team is all of a sudden disgustingly good.

### 7(6). The Stupid Idiots

Big time hit losing Chubb but they have a get-right matchup against GBM this week, who is an even stupider idiot.

### 8(10). ma ma momma said

Momma had a dream last night that their fantasy team scored 1 point. One. This would not surprise me in the least as fantasy is little more than a waking nightmare. I do have to throw some respect momma's way though. Their QB situation has gone from bad to worse and they are managing with the turbulent circumstances the best they can.

### 9(9). The Shotti Bunch

Like watching the Patriots with Brian Hoyer, Shotti has looked like "just another team" this year and their matchups have not drawn the TV ratings as in prior years. Now of course anything can happen and it is still early in the season, but with no Melvin Gordon this week it seems 1-4 and the worst start ever for this franchise is inevitable. Could Shotti be selling this year?

### 10(8). Papa's Posse

I love my dad, so what I'm about to say next is directly at Papa's Posse and not at the man himself. FUCK this team for fucking beating me by 0.2 points. FUCK them. They're going to finish 3-10 this season and one of those wins is going to be week 3's victory that FUCKING FUCKS me. I just fucking know it. What a useless fucking win that did nothing for them and fucked my season for me. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. \*(makes note to conveniently forget to send dad the writeup this week).

## Matchup of the Week

Duck Punchers vs. Pain Train

I am intrigued to see how Duck manages the Derrick Henry situation, while also curious how Pain Train's new look offense comes together. They will still be without Adams (bye), but everyone else is a full go. Can 3-1 Duck get back on track?