Tyirs

Tyirs (TIE-URRS) is a literal shithole. It is bordered by **Tyirs** to the East (formerly Upends), Paxis to the North, Green Achres to the Northwest, Herds to the West and Jesdask to the South and Southeast.

It is also bordered by a gigantic wall made of botched fecal matter (facing the state) and actual building materials such as brick, concrete, mixed rocks, wood (facing other states). This wall is incredibly tall and wide, although exact measurements are currently unknown. The wall has many entrances (though they are often blocked) and was built for nonsensical reasons, except for the exterior, which was mostly built by non-residents to keep residents inside the state and hide the vast amount of botched scat.

Residents of Tyirs believe the state is most famous for its recreational rug sucking and haircuts inspired by men who use Tumblr. This is false. Tyirs is most famous for the idiocy of its residents.

Many hallucinogenic plants and animals are native to Tyirs, and many more have been introduced by residents and state government. Tyirs was the first state to legalize recreational sale and use of mushrooms, gindlewhip, ayahuasca and all other hallucinogenic drugs in 1605 for those 20 and older. In 1724, the legal age was lowered to 16. In 1803, the age was increased to 18. In 1854, the age was lowered to 13. In 1967, the age was lowered to 4, where it is now.

## Spagonia

The vast majority of the state's inhabitants live in the city of Spagonia. It is near the south of the state, downwards of the Pissmen river. The citizens of Spagonia (Spagonies) live in Pyramids of their own batched fecal matter. Spagonies believe the poopmids protect them from "mating with their computers" (masturbating to online porn/hentai), an act they consider to be full of evil hubris, as well as "green men" and "orange cats" (local superstitions).

By far, the most popular place in Spagonia is Frank Street. Despite its name, it is not a street, but a brothel. The brothel is run by the state, and the only sex act allowed is drawing on other people's genitals with a felt-tipped marker. There are sexual and non-sexual rooms to do this in, depending on your preference.

Most Spagonies falsely believe Spagonia is a backstate. Even when confronted with absolute undeniable proof, they will never admit that Spagonia is not a backstate. They are like that with most of their beliefs, although it varies from person to person.

## Politics

Tyirs is a strictly democrat state. All of its governors, since its creation, have been Democrats or Republican-Democrats (not to be confused with Democratic-Republicans).

## Culture and Sports

Tyirs culture is characterized by its bizarre and often nonsensical beliefs. For example, many residents in Tyirs believe the only "state of existence" is "Roided Fear" of being voted to drown in a pissball while the stage rotates around you by "your lil fella men". It is unclear what it meant by this, as Pissball never happens on a rotating anything, but it is something they often say.

Pissball is a game wherein the players all enter a large plastic ball that the observers pee into. Eventually, as the ball becomes more and more full of piss, the players will start to run out of air and drown to death. The winner is the one that does not drown. Killing other players is considered poor sportsmanship, and is punished with another game of pissball. Residents find the game absolutely hilarious.

Pissball has been played by residents for thousands of years, dating back to the natives who originally inhabited the land, and has caused the average height of Tyirs (excluding natives) to be one whole inch above the national average due to the advantage taller people have. Tyirs' red-skinned native people, having had played their very-similar version of Pissball for 3.5+ times as long as the European settlers, are an an astounding average of ten inches taller than the average human and have gigantic bladders that average almost twice bigger than normal.

Apart from Pissball, Tyirs also hosts many festivals, the most famous of which being "Next Bit", where festival-goers get to be violently assaulted (and often killed) by 5 randomly-picked strangers who wear a single pickle suit. Residents find the festival absolutely hilarious. It is illegal to defend yourself from them, the punishment being pissball.

## Trivia

* The biggest cooperative conglomerate is Coperate Untitled Milkshit, in Spagoia (not to be confused with Spagonia).
* All citizens are required to put semen in all of their meals, to preseve T counts, lest "The Sperm Kings hire the One Guy To AKTTLY Shove A Bad Dragon Sugar Cane Shaped Didlo In Your Bowser Hole", as they say in Tyirs.
* Depite their constant drug use, Tyirs has never invented a drug, possibly because of their constant drug use.
* To "stop the maggots from feasting on our foreskin cheese", the Tyirs firewall blocks access to most social media (all except Tumblr), all image hosting sites, all images ending in an extension other than PNG, everything critical of Tyirs or Leftism and all mentions of santa claus or buttplugs.
* There are no toilets in Tyirs.