Episode 71: World Wide Watercooler

**Video:**
1:00:53

**Video:**
2021-11-10 11-20-18.mp4

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

We're living in a new world where covid-19 makes us work from home and we can't  hang out at the water cooler. But what if there was a new way to use water cooler as a place to gather and share our collected experiences? What kind of instruments can be made out of a water jug? A bass obviously, but what else?

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Watercooler, World Wide Waterboy
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Well that's interesting and we'll get to that in a second, but most importantly when you're a tripper and when you're tripping of any kind, what's the one thing that you need to remember? As a trip guide, *you'll* know what the one uh thing is that you need to uh have with you. (Drew: "Well, you should have -- well, I don't know. I guess a -- the one thing that we saw in both of those videos that uh [unintelligible].") Just shut up. Just shut -- just shut up. (Drew: "OK.") Have you ever heard of *T*-- uh *Two* -- (Drew: "*Two and a Half Men*.") -- *Two Girls O*-- uh *Two Birds One Cu*-- *One Cup*? -- *Two Birds One Stone*? What is it? *Two Girls One Stone*? (Drew: "*Two*--") Today, I'm gonna get two girls with one stone. It's two problems at once. The bottom line is we're not having enough uh water into our b-- uh bodies. We need to stay lubricated -- (Drew: "Well I disagree with that.") Well, I mean, some people even s-- th-- uh some people even think water will stop you from having coronavirus! (Drew: "Oh, really!") I mean, Japanese doctors are recommending it, taking a few sips of water. (Drew: "Well Japanese doctors are some of the doctor-- best doctors in the world.") Well that -- I mean, that's probably true. I mean, it is literal-- I mean, they're definitely *among* the best doctors in the world. Like, they're in good company. (Drew: "Mhm.") Um so we need to drink -- we need to be drinking more water. (Drew: "Mhm.") But there's something else to co-- to happen with water that we're missing out on in -- (Drew: "OK. Pee. You have to use the washroom afterwards.") Well that -- I mean, that's true, but there's something else we're missing when it comes to life uh because of this dang -- cause not -- people *aren't* getting their sips in and they're getting the virus; we're missing out on this! The water. It's called the 'watercooler'! (Drew: "OK.") So this is the watercooler. (Drew: "That's the sound of a watercooler working.") You hear that little gurgle? That's someone's tummy, thankful for the water. (Drew: "Oh yeah. I thought it could just be a uh fridge or something with the water.") Uh, no, it's a watercool-- I mean, read the -- (Drew: "But uh, no, now that I hear that -- now that I heard that uh --") The tummy gurg-- the watercooler has a tummy that gurgles and it's -- (Drew: "Mhm. I recognize that sound, certainly.") People are not getting their sips in and the-- and what used to happen, as you saw, that man -- we'll see some more examples in a second -- the watercooler used to be kind of a gathering place for people to share uh idea-- I mean, everyone l-- for example, nowadays wants to talk about um *Skin Game* on Netflix, and the-- (Drew: "Mhm. *Squid Game*.") Pardon? *Skin Game*! (Drew: "*Squid Game*. No, it's *Squid Game*.") *Squin Game*! (Drew: "*Squid Game*. I haven't watched it yet. I hear it's very good.") *Skin*-- *Skin Game*! (Drew: "OK.") And everything's on the line: the *Skin*-- the -- in the *Skin Game*! And people wanna talk about it but where do they talk -- I mean, they've -- because of the uh COVID, they don't have nowhere to talk about it! And they're trying to make it happen now, everyone's working from home, but y-- th-- you can't do it! (Drew: "Right.") Guess what? Well, virtual watercooler, what's it missing? (Drew: "The watercooler. The water.") And so I'm trying to k-- uh kill two birds with one cup, here, of water, and I'm trying to say we can't get rid of the watercooler. So, I mean, there's just all kinds of people -- it takes all types to have a watercooler uh chat. (Drew: "Well, the watercooler, I think -- I mean, you just become more open around them.") So what I'm proposing, Drew, is that we -- we're all separated, we're not getting our sips in, we're all getting COVID and dying of COVID-19 because we're not getting enough sips, as recommended by the Japanese doctors. And what I'm suggesting is that, instead of trying to make it happen on Zoom, g-- of get Zoom fatigue while trying to figure out what your mic is -- (Drew: "Josiah, while you talk, I'm just gonna put a -- I'm just gonna put a video on in the background while you uh talk. Go ahead.") So while we're all getting Zoom fatigue, instead of trying to do our watercooler chats on Zoom and everyone's mic is probably muted on accident or they're looking at the wrong part, I'm proposing that we make a -- that we make a -- that -- well -- I mean, I'll just -- I just wanna wait for a second. (Drew: "Do you just wanna watch this video? Do you just wanna watch this video about the hats?") Just for a second. Imagine if this was in the center of the world. Imagine this existed. America's watercooler! (Drew: "OK.") What I'm trying to say to you: what I proposing that we do is create a World Wide Watercooler where everyone can travel to, get their sips in, get hydrated, visit the World Wide Watercooler, have a chat, unwind, enforced sipping of water, uh everyone on Earth lines up to get their sips in at the World Wide Watercooler.
* Timetable: No timetable was given for the World Wide Watercooler, so it will be implemented as soon as Josiah and Drew can buy an Avalon A1WATERCOOLER A1 Top Loading Water Dispenser and install it in the Grand Canyon and hire a World Wide Waterboy who either is Andy Sandler or acts like him, so it should be ready soon.
* Idea details:
	+ Because of coronavirus, we're missing out on the watercooler when it comes to life. There will be a World Wide Watercooler where everyone can travel to, get their sips in, get hydrated, visit the World Wide Watercooler, have a chat, and unwind.
	+ World Wide Watercooler will be in the center of the world.
	+ There will be enforced sipping of water when everyone on Earth lines up to get their sips in at the World Wide Watercooler.
		- Note: This is similar to World Wide Potluck, which involves everyone in the world riding the World Wide Train (noun) to Boaty McBoatface for lunch every day.
		- Note: The idea of World Wide Watercooler seems to be a capitulation on Josiah's part for his previous idea, World Wide Wipes, which included a World Wide Hose in every neighborhood for people in the neighborhood to drink out of, as a means to reduce water usage. People were not allowed to bring a container with them to World Wide Hose, so World Wide Watercooler largely accommodates people with that complaint. It is unclear what World Wide Watercooler means for the World Wide Hose in each neighborhood.
	+ There will be a line on either side of World Wide Watercooler so that there will be a constant one-on-one chat with Marina Abramović-style eye contact between the two parties lined up to drink water. There needs to be a little more figuring out to determine what makes up the people in each of the two lines, but it may be something like which side of the Equator you live on.
	+ People will sometimes fuck at World Wide Watercooler.
	+ World Wide Watercooler solves two birds with one cup.
	+ To accommodate the fact that not everyone in the world speaks the same language, World Wide Watercooler may require everyone in the world to speak English, as English will be the official language of the World Wide Watercooler and the World Wide Language.
		- Note: In Episode 32: World Wide Comedy, Josiah and Drew discussed the fact that the hybrid animals will tell jokes in their own languages that then get translated to a neutral mid-Atlantic English accent through the use of headphones that would not be translated into any other languages because Canadian English would be the standard worldwide. It is unclear if that stipulation meant that Canadian English would be the standard for all language, or simply the standard when it comes to the translation of the hybrid animals' speech.
		- Note: In The, the word 'the' became a word that we all chose to apply to every single aspect of our life to use that word throughout our lives and use that word for everything. In that way, English is already the World Wide Language because the word 'the' is English.
	+ Two alternatives to having English be the World Wide Language would be to have a universal translator or to have UN earpieces for everyone.
	+ Another alternative to World Wide Language will involve those machines that are in parking lots where you pay for parking, since they will not be needed anymore after World Wide Train (noun), so something like one of them will be set up by the World Wide Watercooler to print out conversation ideas and also translate for both parties by printing out a ticket after they each speak directly into the machine in their own language.
	+ If some people need help making conversation, the translator machine will coax them with trending topics, such as '*Skin Game* on Netflix'.
	+ There will be a new form of greeting from now on where you say, 'I hope that Betty White's not dead.'
	+ The World Wide Watercooler will not be a large novelty sized Watercooler, or even a water tower sized Warner Brothers-style Watercooler. It will be a regular sized Watercooler so that it allows people to put their elbows on it and lean on it. This will ensure it still has the feeling of the office.
	+ There will be a World Wide Waterboy who delivers and flips the jugs of water at the World Wide Watercooler. He will be like the Andy Sandler character 'The Waterboy' doing that racist accent he does. If they cannot get Andy Sandler to portray this character, they will get someone who acts like him.
	+ Occasionally, there will be a jug band playing on the World Wide Watercooler jugs and blowing on them.
	+ There will be a large wasteland of empty water jugs near the World Wide Watercooler and strange, old, hairy musicians that look like Brian Posehn will naturally gravitate towards it so they can create instruments out of the water jugs, such as a water jug standup bass.
		- Note: The existence of a large wasteland of water jugs implies that they are not being thrown away in the Globe Hole, though it is currently unknown why that would be the case.
	+ There will not be ice in the World Wide Watercooler.
	+ The World Wide Watercooler will be an Avalon A1WATERCOOLER A1 Top Loading Water Dispenser. Here is the review of it:
		- Our best value choice is an Avalon A1WATERCOOLER A1 Top Loading Water Dispenser. Unlike some of the more expensive products, there is no beautiful chrome or stainless steel casing, so it doesn't look amazing, but it is still a well-made dispenser. This water cooler is an excellent choice for offices or homes that are short on space thanks to its slim design, and the touchless paddles are an appealing feature. These paddles mean that you, and everyone else, can operate the cold dispenser without having to touch it, thus improving sanitation. For hot water, you will still need to touch the child safety lock.
	+ The World Wide Watercooler will be paid for with taxpayers' money.
	+ The World Wide Watercooler will be located in the Grand Canyon. This will also provide people with something to talk about.
	+ Children will not be allowed at the World Wide Watercooler because they don't have much to say. This will also reduce the danger from the hot water child safety lock on the Avalon A1WATERCOOLER A1 Top Loading Water Dispenser.
	+ The World Wide Watercooler will be a bass player paradise. And in the Grand Canyon, the acoustics will be spectacular. People will go to the Grand Canyon in the future just to have a bass jam with other people.

## Devil Play

* Drew played devil a little bit by offering up a few criticisms here and there throughout the episode, but he remarked that they were able to work through them. He expressed that it was a good idea and it was exciting and he thought they should do it.

## Notable Events

* glug glug warning
* Josiah and Drew were in the morning and also were in mourning for the end of capitalism at the beginning of the episode. Drew remarked that it was 9 AM for him and they usually record in the afternoon.
	+ Note: The last time that Josiah and Drew mentioned they were recording the episode early in the morning was Episode 54: World Wide Safeword, though it's possible it has occurred unmentioned since then.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "WARNING! This Meditation Will Get You HIGH! Kaleidoscope Psychedelic Trip & Visuals" as a guided meditation to get them started since it was so early in the morning. Drew warned Josiah before starting the video that it would get them high.
	+ Note: This video was reminiscent of the Seg-Mind meditation that Josiah and Drew did in early episodes.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Blue Mountain Adventures - The Ultimate Guided Trip!" about an archer hunting elk on a trip.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Barn Sale!" which was an ad for Mountain View Ranch Oregon before they started the episode proper.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "First Real Custom Hat - Pendleton Hat Company" about if you ever visited a hatter or bought a custom hat.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "WHY Water? Why is it so hard to drink enough water?" about Ian Blair Hamilton's understanding of the BIG reason we don't drink enough water.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "VERIFY: Does drinking water protect you from coronavirus?" about how the post claims liquids will wash the virus into your stomach and stomach acid will kill it.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Water Cooler Chat" about the watercooler.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Water Cooler SOUND EFFECT" about pouring some water into a glass from a powered water cooler.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Recreate the Watercooler Chat (WTF to WFH)" about how you should swear at work and not make smalltalk.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How to Create a Virtual Water Cooler" about how to create a "Virtual Water Cooler" with the Webex App that can help to build trust and rapport across employees in your organization.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Water Cooler SOUND EFFECT".
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Water Cooler Chat".
* Josiah and Drew briefly watched a video called "Your Water Cooler Conversation" before Josiah revealed he didn't mean to play it just yet. Instead, they watched a video called "Watercooler Chat 1" about traveling to Canada and California.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Water Cooler Conversations with Geoff & Reid - Best Displays & Graphics" about the first in a series of water cooler conversations.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Friday the 13th Jason Water Cooler Chat with Chris" about how Chris talks about Star Wars podcasts with Jason, hanging out at the water cooler.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Water Cooler Chat" about Water Cooler Chat, a new series that will be released when they need more time to make a longer more complex video!
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Typical Water Cooler conversations, only $exie, viral" about funny, $exyy, office, water cooler assistant secretary $##k screw restroom toilet pho kiss make out go out #@!y beautiful dress !&?! ?$$?ty #@&!&.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Water Cooler Chat".
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "First Real Custom Hat - Pendleton Hat Company".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Your Water Cooler Conversation" about how we're finding out what the water cooler conversation is in Ohio.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Groovy BGM for Gossiping Around the Water Cooler".
* World Wide Language, which will make the official language of the entire world be English.
	+ Note: In Episode 32: World Wide Comedy, Josiah and Drew discussed the fact that the hybrid animals will tell jokes in their own languages that then get translated to a neutral mid-Atlantic English accent through the use of headphones that would not be translated into any other languages because Canadian English would be the standard worldwide. It is unclear if that stipulation meant that Canadian English would be the standard for all language, or simply the standard when it comes to the translation of the hybrid animals' speech.
	+ Note: In The, the word 'the' became a word that we all chose to apply to every single aspect of our life to use that word throughout our lives and use that word for everything. In that way, English is already the World Wide Language because the word 'the' is English.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Bewitching Background Music for Gossiping Around the Water Cooler".
* Drew confirmed that he is ageist.
* World Wide Waterboy, who will deliver the jugs of water to World Wide Watercooler.
	+ Note: This is the second Boy with the 'World Wide' name, after The World Wide Boy.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "New York Red Bulls Watercooler chat OCT 4 2012" about just what is going on with the NY Red Bulls?
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Watercooler Chat" about Office Promotional Contest Entry.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Water Jug Standup Bass" about a one string standup bass made from a water cooler jug.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Groovy BGM for Gossiping Around the Water Cooler".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Best Office Water Cooler (2021 Buyers Guide)" about Reviews of the 10 Best Office Water Cooler, Plus 2 to Avoid.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Best Water Dispenser 2021 – Newest Reviews of Top 10 Best Water Water Dispensers & Coolers" about video review on the Top 10 Best Water Dispensers in 2021 on the market.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Doors Riders On The Storm on Homemade Acoustic Bass Guitar" about bass cover on homemade paddle/bottle 2 string acoustic bass guitar.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "SKA WEDDING".

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Cock and balls."
* "We should always remember Canada in this."
* [On the topic of the word 'late'] "And now it's late! And uh don't call me late for dinner, call me late for capitalism. I'm la-- it's pregnant! It's late. Uh the period is over. Uh we've missed the pe-- well, it's called late capitalism cause we've missed the period. We've missed the period of y-- the peri-- it's late. Uh got knocked up with a baby that is called: 'social'."
* [On the topic of something Drew has gotten interested in doing] "Jacking off."
* [On the topic of the word 'trip'] "Just the 'trip'. Get it?"
* "Now we're in space!"
* "Maybe this is ignorant of me, but they do all look the s-- like, I don't want to play into stereotypes, but, all l-- to me, at least, all ladybugs do look the same. They probably think that about us."
* "Ohhh look at that nasty scrotum."
* "When I look at something, I'm the thing I look at."
* "Well some would say that a woman is a dangerous creature."
* "Just shut up. Just shut -- just shut up."
* "Have you ever heard of *T*-- uh *Two* -- *Two Girls O*-- uh *Two Birds One Cu*-- *One Cup*? -- *Two Birds One Stone*? What is it? *Two Girls One Stone*? Today, I'm gonna get two girls with one stone. It's two problems at once."
* "You hear that little gurgle? That's someone's tummy, thankful for the water."
* "I mean, everyone l-- for example, nowadays wants to talk about um *Skin Game* on Netflix, and the-- pardon? *Skin Game*! *Squin Game*! *Skin*-- *Skin Game*! And everything's on the line: the *Skin*-- the -- in the *Skin Game*!"
* [On the topic of avoiding small talk like talking about the weather] "How is the -- what's the weather -- what if you said, 'What's the weather *not* like toda--? What are the main kinds of weather that *aren't* happening today?' And then you can deduce it from there."
* [On the topic of avoiding small talk] "What's your relationship like with your uh parents?"
* "Guess what? Well, virtual watercooler, what's it missing? And so I'm trying to k-- uh kill two birds with one cup, here, of water, and I'm trying to say we can't get rid of the watercooler."
* "Well, can you just -- for fuck's sake!"
* [On the topic of two people speaking to each other] "Well sometimes there's a problem where people are better conversationalists than others; like sometimes two people will host a podcast together and one of them is much better."
* "I mean, that could just be a -- a-- come a new form of greeting, even: 'I hope that Betty White's not dead.' "

### Drew

* "Good morning. It's morning."
* "Trodeau Baggins, Prime Minister of Canada."
* "My pussy's dry."
* "This is gettin' me high as hell."
* "Do you have a lot of mucus on your scrotum? Is your scrotum really mucus-y?"
* [In response to Josiah referring to a happy trail as a 'snail trail'] "Well that's not a uh -- that refers to, like, the hair, right? Like, going from the -- like, the pubic area to kinda your bellybutton. And it doesn't refer to the mucus trail that you leave when you sit on the ground nude and then rub your balls across the floor."
* "How are women dangerous?"
* [In response to Josiah saying there's more to water than drinking it] "Pee. You have to use the washroom afterwards."
* "It really pisses me off when people drop 'S'-words or 'F'-words."
* "So instead of, like, asking how your weekend was, ask -- be like, you know, um, I don't know, um, 'Do you have any chronic health issues?' "
* [On the topic of avoiding small talk like talking about the weather] " 'Hey, what do you *wish* the weather was like today?' "
* "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a j- uh damn."
* "What the fuck *is* this? What *is* this??"
* "What *is* this??"
* "This is a bizarre video, Josiah. This might be -- this video *might* be worth signing up for the video feed, if you haven't. This video alone. Just to see this video and cancel."
* "Those are some of the most Canadian middle-aged men I've ever met -- or seen."
* "Can I admit something right now? I don't really know -- I'm blanking on what Kylo Ren's lightsaber looks like. I think what they're talking about is that you have the lightsaber -- say this is the lightsaber here, you would have -- yeah. I believe the main lightsaber would come out this way, which would require two kyber crystals, and then a third beam coming out *this* way, which would require another kyber crystal, is I belie-- I believe is what they're talking about."
* "Oh, my lord. She looks sexy."
* "Do you just wanna watch this video? Do you just wanna watch this video about the hats?"
* [In response to Josiah saying that sometimes two people are talking and one of them is a much better conversationalist] "Yeah: me. One's good at -- one's good at saying stuff and one's Josiah Hughes. I'm the king, I say stuff every single day."
* [On the topic of the new form of greeting from now on that expresses one's hope that Betty White is not dead] "And when she dies: 'I wish Betty White was not dead.' Cause she's gonna be dead soon. Oh, absolutely. She's almost 100. She's gonna be -- yeah, well I know she's almost 100. Her life's -- her time is over. Time for somebody else to -- time's up. Betty White, it's time for you -- Betty White has been Me Too'd."
* "Now, I do have a little s-- uh, I do have a little something that *I* wanna show you to end the episode, so let me know when you're done with whatever the fuck you're doing."
* "You're so ignorant, Josiah, because that was a tabletop watercooler! It wasn't even a standing one!"
* "The Doors famously did not have a bass player. They only had a jug player."
* "Eastern European ska! I love it."
* "He's filming women's feet."
* "Oh, they're drinking beer. That's crazy."

## Trivia

* This is Josiah's third episode idea that revolves around water, after Episode 37: World Wide Wipes and Episode 55: World Wide T'rain, though, unlike those episodes, it is the first episode to put forward the idea of increasing water usage as opposed to decreasing it.
* This is the third episode to involve the act of drinking, after Episode 15: World Wide Beer with special guest Tom and Episode 37: World Wide Wipes.
* This is the second episode to involve everyone in the world lining up to ingest something, after Episode 4: World Wide Potluck.
* This episode has two notably different episode titles between its audio and video formats. The audio version is titled "Episode 71: World Wide Watercooler", while the video version is titled "world wide watercooler".
	+ Note: The title used for this Globe Hell Warning Wiki page was chosen for its greater degree of clarity.
	+ Note: There is some precedence for excluding the episode number from the episode title, as detailed below:
		- World Wide High School
		- Episode 9: World Wide Landlord was originally titled simply "World Wide Landlord" but was renamed to include the episode number.
		- Bus
		- Episode 19: World Wide Rock Festival was originally titled simply "World Wide Rock Festival" but was renamed to include the episode number.
		- Episode 55: World Wide T'rain, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 57: Faster Fashion, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 59: Globe Hell Family Podcast Network, which excluded the episode number and included the word '(video)' in the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 61: Food Baby, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- The
		- True Crime Podcast, which excluded the episode number from both versions of its episode title and also included the word '(video)' in the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 66: World Wide Mutual Aid DIY Delivery Service, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 67: Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.