Unikitty Says Bad Words A SpongeBob Parody.

*[The title card has men singing part of the song "Sailing Over the Dogger Bank"]* ♪Watcha twigger she's a proper jubby-jewel... On a passage from the Dogger Bank to Great Grimsby!♪ *[then we see the Happy Burger at night]*

**Mr. Happy:** Well, it's the worst time of the day once again. *[changes the sign from "Open" to "Closed"]* Closing time.

**Unikitty:** Well, see you in the morning, Mr. Happy.

**Mr. Happy:** Hold on there, Unikitty! *[pulls Unikitty back]* Take that pile of filth out with you. *[Master Frown holds up a trash bag with flies flying around it]*

**Unikitty:** *[gasps]* Mr. Happy, you shouldn't talk about Master Frown like that!

**Master Frown:** He means *this* filth you goon! *[He drops the bag on the floor]*

*[Unikitty goes to the dumpster while bringing the trash bag]*

**Unikitty:** *[singing]* I'm takin' out the trash! I'm takin' out the trash!

*[Unikitty throws the trash in the dumpster and then looks at some writings on the dumpster.]*

**Unikitty:** Hmm... dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" *[laughs]* "Nematodes are people too!" *[laughs]* Ha, those nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Master Frown smells. *[writes the word "good" after "smells"]* Good. *[laughs]* Hmm, what's this one? Mr. Happy is a... hmm? Mr. Happy is a *[censored beep sound]*.

**Garbage man:** *[Clearly mad]* Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!

*[picks up multiple garbage bags and leaves]*

**Unikitty:** Sometimes. But, not recently.

**Puppycorn:** *[off-screen]* Hi, garbage man. *[appears on-screen]* Hi, Unikitty.

**Unikitty:** Hi, little bro! Hey, Puppycorn, do you know what this word means?

**Puppycorn:** "Mr. Happy..." Uh, isn't that the yellow, sweaty guy you work for?

**Unikitty:** *[pointing to "Mr. Happy," then the unseen word as they are said]* Nah-uh, not that word, that word.

**Puppycorn:** Hmm... *[censored beep sound]*! Oh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.

**Unikitty:** Sentence enhancers?

**Puppycorn:** You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!

**Unikitty:** Oh, I get it! Let me try. *[clears her throat]* Hello, Puppycorn. Lovely *[censored beep sound]* day we're having, isn't it?

**Puppycorn:** Why, yes it is, Unikitty. This *[dolphin chirp]* day is particularly *[censored beep sound]* lovely!

**Unikitty:** How *[censored beep sound]* right you are, Puppycorn!

*[The two continue to say the word a few more times]*

**Unikitty:** Ooh, You're right, Puppycorn, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.

**Puppycorn:** Oh, mine, too!

*[both laugh]*

**Unikitty:** It tingles when I laugh!

*[Unikitty walks into the Happy Burger the next day]*

**Unikitty:** Hello, customers, nice *[censored beep sound]* day we're having, uh? *[The customers stop eating and stare in shock]*

**Leggy Bird Citizen:** *[gasps]* Did she just say?!

**Crankybeard:** Aye, she did.

**Unikitty:** Hey, Puppycorn, how the *[censored beep sound]* are ya?

**Puppycorn:** *[sitting at table at the Happy Burger]* Pretty *[censored beep sound]* good, big sis.

**Old Timey Mustache Man:** I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.

**Unikitty:** *[taps on the microphone and speaks into it]* Attention, customers, today's special is a *[censored beep sound]* Uniburger served in a greasy *[censored beep sound]* sauce and grilled to *[censored beep sound]* perfection. *[Green Mom covers her laughing son's ears and puts soda on him]* And don't forget to ask us to *[censored beep sound]* the *[censored beep sound]* fries. It will be our *[dolphin chirp]* pleasure. *[Master Frown hears the intercom and a giant human ear pops out of his head; he pushes it back in]* Hi, Frownie, how the *[censored beep sound]* are ya?

**Puppycorn:** Nice *[dolphin chirp]* day, isn't it, Master Frown?

**Theodore:** I don't understand. That cat's talented. She doesn't have to work blue.

**Dainty:** Let's go somewhere more family oriented. *[Everyone leaves the Happy Burger, grumbling in frustration]*

**Bim-Bom:** *[chattering (variously and) inaudibly]* I'm never eating here again.

**Hominid:** *[chattering (variously and) inaudibly]* Those foul-mouth bottom feeders. They disgust us.

*[The Happy Burger customer meter is running down; sirens wail and a red light flashes]*

**Mr. Happy:** *[in the bathroom, hears the sirens]* Huh? *[looks through the periscope, sees that the Happy Burger is empty and gasps]* The Happy Burger is empty! *[runs to dining room with toilet paper stuck to one of his legs]* All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Master Frown, where have all me money paying customers gone?

**Master Frown:** Apparently, the two POTTY mouth siblings just learned a new word! And Unikitty just said it over the intercom!

**Mr. Happy:** What was it? What'd she say?

**Master Frown:** Er...she said...um, well she said...

*[Master Frown whispers]*

**Mr. Happy: WHAT?!** *[Master Frown whispers it again; Mr. Happy gasps]* Unikitty and Puppycorn! Front and center! Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Happy Burger for using such language!

**Unikitty:** But, Mr. Happy. We were only using our sentence enhancers.

**Puppycorn:** Yeah, it's fancy talk.

**Mr. Happy:** There ain't nothing fancy about that word!

**Unikitty:** You mean *[censored beep sound]*?

**Mr. Happy:** Yes! That one! *[Unikitty and Puppycorn stand up]* Quit saying that right now! *[Unikitty and Puppycorn frown]* It's a bad word!

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** Bad word?! *[both start wiping their tongues while moaning]*

**Mr. Happy:** Yes! That's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.

**Master Frown:** Don't you mean there are only 7?

**Mr. Happy:** Not if you're a sailor. *[laughs]*

**Unikitty:** Wow, 13.

**Puppycorn:** That's a lot of *[censored beep sound]* bad words.

**Mr. Happy:** Okay, guys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** We promise.

*[Later at Unikitty's castle, the royal siblings are playing Snakes and Escalators]*

**Unikitty:** Gee, I'm glad Mr. Happy told us that word we were using was a bad word!

**Puppycorn:** Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.

**Unikitty:** Yeah, verily. Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Snakes and Escalators.

**Puppycorn:** Oh, boy, my favorite! *[Flops arms up and down like a seal]*

**Unikitty:** Come on, Pet Pet needs a new pair of shoes! *[rolls the dice]*

**Puppycorn:** Oh, snakes. Too bad, Unikitty, you gotta ride the snake.

**Unikitty:** Darn. *[moves game piece to snake]*

**Puppycorn:** My turn! *[rolls dice]* Hooray! Escalators! Yay! *[screams]* Up, up, up!

**Unikitty:** Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators! *[rolls dice]* *[sighs]* Snakes again.

**Puppycorn:** My turn! *[rolls dice]* Escalators!

**Unikitty:** Escalators, Escalators, Escalators! *[throws dice]* Snakes?

**Puppycorn:** *[rolls dice]* Es-skee-lators! *[moves to escalators]* Well, this is your last chance, Unikitty, or if you get snakes again, you lose!

**Unikitty:** *[gets frustrated while rolling the dice]* Escalators, escalators, escalators! *[dice is thrown and lands on escalators]* Ha! Escalators! *[dice turn over to snakes]*

**Puppycorn:** Snakes...

**Unikitty:** AHH, *[censored beep sound]*! *[covers his mouth when she realizes her mistake]*

**Puppycorn:** Ooooh! You said number 11!

**Unikitty:** *[babbles for Puppycorn to understand]* I didn't mean... you gotta understand, Puppycorn I was trying...what I meant to say was...some things just slip out. You gotta understand!

**Puppycorn:** Don't worry, Unikitty, I understand. *[pause]* Mr. Happy! *[runs out the door]* Mr. Happy! Mr. Happy! Mr. Happy! *[starts running to the Happy Burger]*

**Unikitty:** *[starts running after him]* No, wait, Puppycorn! *[after Unikitty catches up to Puppycorn]* Puppycorn, no, please don't tell!

**Puppycorn:** But, you said "*[censored beep sound]*"! *[Covers his mouth as he realizes his mistake]*

**Unikitty:** Aha! Now I'm gonna tell Mr. Happy on you!

**Puppycorn:** Not if I tell first!

**Unikitty:** I can fly faster than you! *[laughs]*

**Puppycorn:** *[riding on the back of an ice cream truck]* See ya at the Happy Burger! Hahaha! *[the truck turns at the wrong corner]*

[Puppycorn and Unikitty get to The Happy Burger.]

**Mr. Happy:** ALRIGHT! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT ONE OF YOU DID!

**Unikitty:** Well, he said...

**Mr. Happy:** YES?!

**Unikitty:** Well, uh, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the 13 words you said shouldn't be said.

**Mr. Happy: WHAT?!**

**Puppycorn:** *[walks in door of the Happy Burger and eats an ice cream cone, but throws away the cone]* Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy, Mr. Happy! *[Mr. Happy sighs]*

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** He said that word that you said we shouldn't say...!

**Unikitty:** ...number thirteen...

*[They babble on about the word, as Mr. Happy stares on disapprovingly, until the two are just pointing at each other and yelling gibberish; Mr. Happy eventually grabs their lips to quiet them.]*

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** Mmm-mmm...!

**Mr. Happy:** Now I'm gonna let go of your lips! And when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what you need to tell me! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** Mmm-hmm... *[Mr. Happy lets go of their lips, which initially deflate, then reinflate; they both point at each other again]* He said "*[censored beep sound]*"!

**Mr. Happy:** *[gasps]* DID I JUST HEAR YOU TWO SAY THAT WORD WITH MY OWN EARS?! YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! TAKE OUT THE TRASH NOW! *[picks Unikitty and Puppycorn up by their clothes and carries them outside the Happy Burger]* You two need to be taught a lesson! I thought I made it clear! Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now I want both of you to wait right here! I'll be back! *[walks back in Happy Burger]*

**Puppycorn:** What's going to happen to us?!

**Unikitty:** We'll probably get 40 lashes!

**Puppycorn:** Oh no! *[stupidly imagines himself having 40 lashes]*

**Unikitty:** I'm sorry, Puppycorn. Mr. Happy was right. There's no need for words like that.

**Puppycorn:** I'm sorry, too, Unikitty.

**Unikitty:** Let's make a vow, Puppycorn. From this day forth, a foul word shall never pass our lips! We'll be good citizens, just like good ol' Mr. Happy.

**Puppycorn:** *[shakes paws with Unikitty]* Agreed!

**Mr. Happy:** All right you two foul mouths! As punishment for fouling the air in me restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Happy Burger a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom! *[jams his foot on a rock then hops on one leg]* Ow, Ooh! Ow! My *[censored beep sound]* foot! What *[censored beep sound]* genius put a *[censored beep sound]* rock in a *[censored beep sound]* path?! Can't you see I got a *[censored beep sound]* foot here?! Oh! *[Censored beep sound. Continues saying a bunch of swear words, still censored out by please stand by tones. At this moment, Unikitty and Puppycorn count the swear words he uses]*

**Unikitty:** Five, six, seven...

**Mr. Happy:** a whole lotta *[censored beep sound]* and with a side of *[censored beep sound]*, a heapin' helpin' of *[censored beep sound]* and a boatload of *[censored beep sound]*...

**Puppycorn:** Nine...

**Mr. Happy:** Ooh *[censored beep sound]* crabbin' *[censored beep sound]* Ooh-hoo-uh! *[cries in pain]*

**Unikitty:** *[cuts to Unikitty with thirteen fingers]* That's all thirteen, Puppycorn! *[gasps in anger]* We're gonna tell your Dad, Mr. Happy!

**Mr. Happy:** *[worried]* No! Please! Not my Father! *[Unikitty and Puppycorn angrily run to Papa Happy's house and Mr. Happy runs after them]* Wait! Please don't tell my Father! I don't think his little old heart can take it!

*[They go to the house]*

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** *[repeatedly banging on the door]* Papa Happy! Papa Happy!

**Papa** **Happy:** Why, hello there!

*[Unikitty Puppycorn and Mr. Happy* *all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so]*

**Unikitty:** Papa Happy, he said *[censored beep sound]* and then he said *[censored beep sound]* again and said *[dolphin chirps]* and then he screamed at the top of his voice *[censored beep sound]*!

**Puppycorn:** It was terrible.

**Unikitty:** And he-- *[censored beep sounds]*--Mr. Happy, he didn't care! Such a stream of *[censored beep sound]* I have never heard in my days!

**Papa** **Happy:** *[shocked] NO! NOOOOO!!!! MY HEART!!!! MY LOVELY HEART! [fainting]*

**Mr. Happy:** *[gasps]* Oh no, Father! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you?! *[takes a coin out of his pocket]* You two should be ashamed! Making an old man faint with your sailor talk!

**Papa Happy:** *[wakes up and yells at them]* How dare you do this!! You should all be ashamed!! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to *work* like sailors!!

*[Then the three are painting his house. Puppycorn is painting the ground]*

**Papa Happy:** I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade. *[laughs and stubs his foot on a rock]* Yeeeoww! My *[censored beep sound]* foot!

*[Unikitty and Puppycorn gasp in shock]*

**Mr. Happy:** *[shocked]* Father?! Did you just say the bad word?!

**Papa Happy:** What? It's Really Old Edith and her jalopy.

**Really Old Edith:** *[driving by]* Howdy, Mr. Happy's Father! *[honks the horn]*

**Unikitty, Puppycorn, Mr. Happy, and Papa Happy:** *[all laugh together]*