Helen's Hell Hags

Buffy Rabbit, The Floozy, and Shira. art by PixelWayve

This article is about the superhero team. For the song, please see Helen's Hell Hags (Song)

Helen's Hell Hags is a superhero group dedicated to bringing abusers to justice. Members include The Floozy, Shira, Buffy Rabbit, and Galaxy.

There is one Helen's Hell Hags Song, and the group's other adventures are primarily found on Da Floozy and Raven's twitter accounts. The twitter threads includes several name drops from some fans from the discord server NADS.

Like the rest of Paul's Twitter activity, this group is "not not canon," meaning that these are great snippets of character moments and loose canon information, but is not intended for lore enthusiasts to go crazy on the details. It is an opportunity for Paul to have fun on twitter without fans hardcore reading into everything he writes.

## Musical Adventure

In the Helen's Hell Hags solo track, Floozy introduces the members of the group: Shira, Galaxy, Joki the goblin, and Buffy Rabbit.

They get a distress call from a nearby narrative, and while Shira, Galaxy, Joki are eager to jump to violence, Floozy says they have to let the man have a chance to grow. They have a sitting circle with the man, and he uncovers some of his trauma and unconscious triggers and agrees to continue therapy with a licensed therapist.

The group gets another call from a frat house. The frat boy explains that aliens came and abducted his friend. Galaxy teleports them up to the spaceship. Shira, Galaxy, Joki are hopeful for an alien battle, but the Floozy insists on giving them the option for a sitting circle first and the aliens agree to talk it out.

They get another call for a white supremist rally. Shira and Galaxy say that they guess they have to give them a chance, but Floozy says screw that and the group enthusiastically leaps into battle.

The song ends with Floozy addressing the audience and telling them that they love them and the importance of being good to others and self care.

## Twitter Adventures

The Floozy took over Raven's twitter account to reassure everyone that Shira is doing fine at the carnival, and that they're good friends. She also described the day that Eddie showed up at the carnival. The Floozy approached him, asking about how a gentleman treats a lady. Eddie punched her, and the Floozy strapped Eddie upside down to the front of a roller coaster for 24 hours. The carnival sat Eddie down, and Shira was able to tell him how she felt (twitter thread)

The Floozy got on Raven's twitter and talked a bit about physical and emotional abuse before mentioning that she and Shira were thinking about starting a superhero group. She stressed that they were going to be a talk oriented group, but would be less lenient on repeat occurrences, and if kids are being harmed. (twitter thread)

They announced that their group was named "Helen Hell Hags" and that Buffy Rabbit had joined as the first official member (twitter thread)

For their first mission, the group went to the home of a bad man who liked to pick on this poor girl named Jolene. The guy was unwilling to come along and threatening them with a knife, causing some debate between Shira and The Floozy about what to do, since they promised no violence on the first visit. The Floozy requests the guy to hit her so that they can properly subdue him, and with a bit of goading, he does. Buffy Rabbit jumps him and they bring him to a sitting circle so that the women can tell him their stories (twitter thread)

Shira and The Floozy decided that they need costumes, and they hired/kidnapped ApologeticallyOffensive to design a logo for them. (twitter thread)

The group started sending out the word about their existence, so that people in trouble can call for help when needed. Some friends with magik helped out, so when anyone in this dimensional triad stream says “help” and “hell hags” in the same sentence, Buffy Rabbit’s tail lights up. (twitter thread)

Shira took over Raven's twitter, telling everyone that The Floozy got banged up but is okay. The superhero group landed themselves in a situation where they were outnumbered. Shira was in trouble, so the Floozy stepped in to help, but was overwhelmed by multiple opponents. Buffy Rabbit went and got Raven, who quickly ended the fight. The Floozy said that she doesn't intend to give up, and suggests that they learn fighting tactics (twitter thread)

The Floozy gets her own twitter account. She had almost recovered from her last mission when she answered a cry for help from a boy getting abused by his mother. The mom got a lucky shot in with an iron before Shira showed up to help. After subduing the lady, they called child services (twitter thread)

The group gets a distress call from a goth chick named Galaxy. They tried talking to her boyfriend, but was forced to give him a beatdown to keep her safe. As they were talking to Galaxy afterwards they discovered that she was into magic. Shira is interested in learning more, thinking that it would help with their superhero activities. Galaxy offers to let Shira stay for a week or two copying notes from a rare spellbook written by Jill. The Floozy recognizes the name Jill from Raven's stories, and invites Galaxy to come to the carnival for a bit. (twitter thread)

Galaxy joined the team as the resident battle witch, after The Floozy walked into Shira's trailer one morning and found Shira and Galaxy together in bed. Galaxy specializes in glossolalia magic, where her spells are essentially nonsense syllables that sound like keyboard mashes. Raven, Lloyd, and the Hell Hags talked and plan to rescue Jill from whatever messed up dimension or reality well she's trapped in. (twitter thread)

Galaxy teaches The Floozy a bit of fire magic, advising to light the flame inside the opponent's head instead of on top of their hair. Galaxy sets Raven's couch on fire during the demonstration, and they need to get Raven a new couch. Raven tells them to just go to a narrative and take a couch, but The Floozy is adamant about not stealing. They're still planning on rescuing Jill, but first they need to find Michael. The Floozy thinks that Raven entrusted Michael with something important long ago, and that Michael has the last piece of David Adams. (twitter thread)

The Floozy and Shira go to Marcus' Mattresses and purchase a purple coffin shaped couch from Dev, the current owner of the store. New Albion is in shambles after the events of The Lost Fairy, but it's being cleaned up and rebuilt. Back at the carnival, there is a delegation of fish people visiting, lead by King Mal. Lloyd is away at The Decadent Abbey looking for someone to help with the Jill rescue, so Raven and the fish people break in the new couch. (twitter thread)

The Fish People need asylum because they are being hunted by a nasty alien hunter entity called M'adi. Helen's Hell Hags promise to help protect the fish people, saying that maybe the M'adi just need a good sitting circle. (twitter thread)

The M'adi figured out that the fish people were at the carnival, but were having a difficult time getting to the correct dimension. The M'adi find a sex worker named Maisel and tell her that they're looking for Wormy and Alyssa. Maisel has beef with those two, as they are a former employer and rival, so Maisel leads the M'adi to the door in The Balley that leads to the carnival. Raven was out when the M'adi arrive, and everyone at the carnival tries to fight back against the predator. The M'adi takes out Buffy Rabbit, Galaxy, and Shira, and The Floozy was about to take a last stand against them when Raven arrived. (twitter thread)

For a moment looks like Raven's about to cry. Then his eyes go stone cold, and he looks up at the M'adi and says "what's up doc?" In a very cartoonish manner, he appears and disappears, doing some wild, slap stick stabbing. Raven casually paints his nails as the M'adi charges at him, but a bucket of grease causes them to slide up a ramp and land on a roller coaster. The M'adi starts speeding unnaturally fast towards an anvil at the bottom of the track, with Raven riding on top, as if he's surfing. The M'adi's face slams hard into the anvil, and Raven lands nicely and shows The Floozy his newly painted nails. The Floozy hugs Raven and cries. (twitter thread)

Now that the M'adi has been taken down, the group turns their attention to Maisel, who ratted out their location to a homicidal alien. When they find her, Maisel claims that an evil arcane entity assumed her identity in order to harm her super bestest friend in the entire world, Alyssa. Maisel gives a sob story about wanting to protect Alyssa with a giant knife. They bring Maisel to the carnival and point her in the direction of Alyssa's trailer, and Maisel heads over with a big smile on her face. (twitter thread)

The Floozy reassures that she knew Maisel was trouble, and says that the last twitter thread was left up so that Maisel would walk into her worst fear: a sitting circle. The Floozy explains that sitting circles are hard core, and there's no emotional vulnerability left uncovered. For Maisel, she never got love or acceptance from her parents unless she earned it, and thus she was jealous of Alyssa who was everything Maisel wishes she was but felt she could never be. So when her pimp, the replacement for her dad, favored Alyssa over her, it provoked a crisis so deep Maisel couldn't bear it. The sitting circle lasted until 3AM, and there was lots of sobbing. (twitter thread)

The Floozy is working as Galaxy's lab assistant developing a non lethal spell. The new spell is designed to make someone's anal sphincter itchy af for a month, and Galaxy intends to use it on prejudiced schnozzles. While they work, Galaxy likes to listen to a podcast called Lost Hollow, starring Mary, Henry, Channelle, and Jesper Furby. The Floozy remarks that she's impressed with how well the town is coming along. (twitter thread)

A young man came to the carnival, covered with swastikas and racist symbols. Floozy brought him aside and said that isn't tolerated at the Carnival, but it turns out he was on the run from his old buddies and he wanted to change his ways be he couldn't get out. The Hell Hags went to take care of the group of white supremacists, but had a debate on how to handle the situation. Shira and Buffy Rabbit wanted to go in swinging, but the Floozy said they had principles and had to try talking with them first and seeing if any of them would change their ways before fighting. So they arrived at the meeting and tried to get them to form a sitting circle, and Floozy admitted that Shira was right. They did not take well to the sitting circle, said a lot of insulting things to Shira, pulled out weapons, and then the Floozy had enough and said it was time to break some bones and mayhem followed. Buffy Rabbit shoved an entire flag up someone's bum. Floozy kept asking if anyone wanted to change, but no one took them up on the offer. But they have a new kid, and Floozy and others at the carnival are helping him process and unpack. (twitter thread)

Raven wanted to take everyone out somewhere fancy for Han's birthday (Floozy doubts that it is Han's actual birthday). Han shot down Raven's first suggestion of Chuck E Cheese. Galaxy suggests Freddie's and Raven gets excited about murderous animatronic animals despite Galaxy trying to tell him that Five Nights at Freddies is not a real restaurant. They end up at Freddie Falliccio's, an Italian place in a crime city narrative and is a hangout for a mob. They receive strange looks and comments about their carnie outfits, and Floozy tries to tell everyone to be polite until the comments turn racist and homophobic. They're not going to let that go, and mayhem breaks out, and Raven is excited to be part of a gang war and Galaxy and Shira are making out. During the fighting, Floozy keeps asking if anyone wants to join a sitting circle and one guy named Louie the Fish takes her up on the offer. Louie is a hitman who was forced into the business by his father but he wants to make windows with cute little French shutters. By the end of it, the place is trashed and the group ends up going to Denny's. (twitter thread)