V Magazine

**V** magazine is an American fashion magazine published since 1999. Kim Petras did multiple interviews and photoshoots for them.

## Interview #1

It’s not often that a Sephora checkout inspires an entire song, but that’s exactly what happened to Kim Petras. “My manager took me to Sephora and said, ‘Buy whatever you want,’ and I did,” the pop singer-songwriter recalls of how her debut single was conceived. “He got tense at the checkout and the checkout lady was like, ‘Just close your eyes and swipe it sweetie,’ and we laughed, wrote it down, and were like, ‘This is the greatest lyric ever!’”

That line spawned “I Don’t Want It At All,” which topped Spotify’s Global Viral 50 chart after its debut and kicked off Petras’s career. Her pop fantasy sound nods to the frothy bubblegum and rhythmic melodies of the early aughts. “I lived in a small town in Germany,” she says. “I felt so far away from everything, and I just always went home to watch Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Spice Girls music videos on loop, and escape to that fabulous world. I think that’s the core of why I love pop music, because I felt like I could live in it."

You’d be hard-pressed to find a popstar today embracing the joys of superficiality and plastic fantasy quite as much as Petras, who created her own fabulous world with the “Want It” video, even scoring a cameo from Paris Hilton. "I remember watching The Simple Life all the time. I remember her life, and just the 2000s, how crazy they were. And I feel like I’m definitely very influenced by the 2000s," she recollects. "She’s really sweet. She took pictures with everybody from the crew. She had a pretty shitty dressing room and she didn’t complain. She did the take as many times as she had to, and then she danced with me and gave me a goodie bag of most of her perfumes and fun stuff. She was just a sweetheart."

But prior to launching her music career, the artist caught worldwide attention for a completely different reason: she’s one of the youngest people on record to have had gender reassignment surgery, undergoing the procedure at just 16 years old. “I always felt like a girl,” Petras says. “I grew up wondering what was wrong with me. I was really depressed and suicidal as a kid.” Terrified of going through male puberty, she started hormone treatments around 11 years old with the unconditional support of her parents, who even urged her to participate in documentaries about being transgender to help families who weren’t as understanding. “My mom told me there was a way to live life as a girl. I didn’t have to live life as a boy, because I didn’t want to live as a boy,” she says.

Petras underscores that her experience as a transgender woman doesn’t figure into her songwriting—at least not anymore. “Of course, the way I was feeling during that time was very, ‘I’m an outsider, people think I’m crazy.’ A lot of my earlier songs used to be about that, but then as I grew up, it was just more about normal emotional things,” she relays. “I just write pop songs that I want to live in.” That world she wants to live in is most prominently inspired by her glitzy, over-the-top vision of American life, one she still mesmerizingly dreams about despite knowing the realities of LA. "As a teenager, I was always fantasizing about what life is like in America, in Hollywood and all the fabulous places, so I love to keep the fantasy going and just really exaggerate on the idea I had of Los Angeles and California and Hollywood before I came here. Things aren’t as crazy as you’d imagine they’d be when you’re across the world, but it will always have a little bit of the quality for me—that dreamy, movie feel."

She dedicated herself to the craft of songwriting from the age of 12, sacrificing some things most pre-teens would never forego. "I didn’t go to parties, I didn’t hang out with my friends. I was always just like home writing songs. [My goal was] 'I want to be a great songwriter and I want to learn all the tricks'." She notes that her artistic growth wasn’t rapid: “I wasn’t great in the beginning. I wrote these stupid songs about guys I liked in school who didn’t like me back.” But she hit the ground running after moving to Los Angeles. Petras ended up writing an astounding 400 tracks over the process of creating her debut album.

“It’s funny because my first album feels like a greatest hits of the last five years,” she says. “I feel like a princess on Hollywood Boulevard. I love really glossy, glamorous stuff with a little dirt on it.” What if she were to ironically title her debut record Greatest Hits? “We’ve thought about that,” she says. “That would definitely be funny, but I don’t know if people would get it at all. They’d be like, ‘Who is this?’” Pretty soon, the world will know regardless.

## Interview #2

Fine china is the norm, but for V's platinum birthday, we give the gift of girl power. In our week-long series "Going Platinum" we highlight six standouts form our 20 years of sonic discovery. Ahead, V speaks to Kim Petras about everything under the sun—from the inspiration behind Clarity to her refusal to be defined.

**Tell us a bit about the process of working on Clarity.**

It started at the end of last year, while I was on tour opening for Troye Sivan. It was really cool, but at the same time, I had just gone through a really tough breakup. I would come on stage and sing these super hyper pop songs, and come off the stage in tears. Even though my career was going better than ever, and it was my dream to go on such a huge tour, I felt empty. I feel like I wrote my first songs from an insecure place. I didn’t feel like anyone would like me. I waited my whole life to drop my own shit as an artist. I thought, ‘Am I pretty enough to be a pop star? Am I talented enough? Is my voice good enough?’ I feel like all of these [initial] songs were like a superhero version of myself–an imaginary version. I was writing “I Don’t Want It At All” which is a very bratty, rich girl song with three roommates [while sleeping] on a futon. It was definitely not my real life, but with [Clarity], I found the confidence to pull the curtain back and be completely honest with my fans. I wanted my fans to feel they could relate to me. My fans gave me a lot of confidence to be [honest]. I also think creating characters can be true to yourself because you’ve created those [personas]. I don’t necessarily think I was fake.

**I think it’s interesting that you said you weren’t necessarily worried about the audience understanding or relating to the music because you felt great being honest. I actually think that since you’re being honest, the audience can immediately relate.**

Totally, which is really amazing. It’s definitely a big departure from the prior sound, so I was happy that people were down for that. I also feel like [Clarity] is opening me up to a whole new audience. In general, I don’t ever want to do the same thing. Right now, I am working on Turn Off The Light: Volume 2, which is going to be sick.

**Considering Clarity, what do you feel are the most honest points?**

“Clarity” and “All I Do Is Cry” were the first songs I wrote, all while on the road with Troye. I do feel they’re all honest. But I think “Blow It All” and “Got My Number” are the songs closest to who I am, and what it’s like hanging out with me. I am not usually depressed, but it was my break-up moment. I’m a different person every day. Today, it would probably be one of the up-tempo songs.

**What do you feel is the biggest challenge of today’s music industry?**

There are a ton of challenges. The streaming era is changing everything. Everyone is panicking. Major labels are finding and fighting for a new path. The new up-and-comers don’t want to go to major labels because you can’t release a song if Taylor Swift’s album is dropping that week. I have seen so many friends’ work get shelved. They’re not able to release the songs they want and they’re really proud of the work they do. Especially being a writer, I have seen many people not able to release their favorite tracks for years. It’s scary. I chose to be on my own label and I’ve been performing at every single gay club building my fan base. I think it’s challenging for a lot of artists [to stand out]. You have to have an identity.

I see so many unique and amazing people slowly become the “LA pop girl group” that everyone becomes. I’m really scared of that. I feel like that’s challenging as an artist. It’s probably a challenge that women, in general, don’t get Grammy’s. I think only 10% of last year’s nominees were women. I’ve also had a lot of unique struggles because I am transgender. I’ve had a lot of meetings with labels where the only thing they’re able to talk about is me being transgender, not even the music.

**The music should be first.**

A room full of people discussing, how do we market it? How do we keep it a secret? Debating if it’s possible to be transgender and lucrative, which was really annoying.

**Has that happened lately, or just in the beginning?**

It was maybe two years ago when I was shopping for deals. Really religious people at major labels in LA have said, ‘you’re going to hell if you work with Kim Petras’. It’s not like bullshit labels. That’s been a big struggle. Other than that, it’s a really exciting time.

**What do you find most exciting?**

I think this is the first time doing this independently would even be possible. Being a transgender artist wouldn’t have been possible 10 years ago. Now is the time. [The climate] is opening up and more and more artists are doing their own thing. They don’t fit into any kind of norm. Those are the people that are winning big–Lizzo, Megan the Stallion, Cardi. All of these people are themselves. They’re doing their own thing and don’t fit into categories. Right now is the moment for that.

## Interview #3

This season, we can’t get enough of Kim Petras’ holiday-themed mixtape Turn Off The Lights. The dark and dancey album picks up where last year’s Halloween-themed volume one left off, completing a sonic journey from macabre electro to nightmare-before-Christmas. Of the track “Massacre,” Petras says, “We discovered ‘Carol of the Bells’ was public domain, so we made our own gorey version of it.” Also on our holiday wishlist is our very own Balenciaga Hourglass handbag—seen here with Demna Gvasalia-designed customization and modeled by the “I Don’t Want It At All” singer herself (Customize your own Balenciaga bag from December 4th-8th at Balenciaga Miami Design District). Here, we catch-up with Petras while on tour for Clarity, where she explains the inspiration behind Turn Off The Lights and reflects on her best and worst Halloween costumes.

**What was the starting point for the second installment to Turn Off The Lights? Why a Halloween record? What inspires you about this energy?**

I’ve always wanted to continue Turn Off The Lights Volume One. I love horror movies and I listen to horror soundtracks all the time; I just wanted to make music inspired by this revival of horror movies. It felt like the funniest thing to do, and we’ve been planning to complete the record since we released the first volume [last Fall]. Turn Off The Lights is now a full record that you can listen to from front to back. Both volumes bleed into one another. It has all kinds of different horror-inspired songs; this [volume] adds a big ballad at the end, which is cool. I am a big fan of Rocky Horror Picture Show, Little Shop Of Horrors and Sweeney Todd. I basically love any scary theatrical music [film].

**What is your process like when working on Turn Off The Lights? Is it any different from working on Clarity?**

[Turn Off The Lights] is a larger than life version of myself; it’s kind of this evil alter ego of mine. It’s really fun to have zero limitations. I am a caring person, I am a good friend, but I love playing evil. It’s my thing! (Laughs) The whole process has been really freeing and fun. It almost feels like a dramatic, dark twisted musical. One day, I’d love to take all of these songs and make them into a movie.

**It certainly sounds very cinematic. Did you watch a lot of horror movies when you were working on the record?**

Yes! My friends and I were writing in the studio in Hawaii over the summer. It was so nice, but at night it gets really spooky out there. It gets super dark outside, so we watched horror movies every single night. We definitely drew a lot of inspiration from the horror genre. But my friends and I always watch horror movies, so it wasn’t much different. I have a lot of songwriter friends like Jessie Saint Johns and Aaron Joseph. It was like hanging out and [taking] our combined passion for horror and gore, and making it into art. It’s been a dream.

**Do you have a favorite horror movie?**

My all time favorite would be The Exorcist–it’s crazy. Most recently, it’s been Hereditary. That movie blew me away! Also, the new Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis was amazing.

**Totally. She’s the original scream queen!**

Honestly, Scream Queens also inspired the album; it’s all over the board. I watch every horror movie even if it’s going to be absolute trash. I always find something to enjoy.

**Do you dress up for Halloween? What have been your best and worst costumes?**

I dress up every year and go out. I love that part of Halloween. My worst costume was Dracula because it was so basic. At least it could’ve been “thotty” Dracula, but it was in the third grade. I’ve done a mean Sailor Moon, I’ve done a mean Barbie. I love super-girl costumes, but I always make them kind of dead. I always have blood. I really want to [dress up as] Daphne from Scooby Doo. I’m putting the pressure on myself this year.

**Tell me a bit about the complete record.**

[Turn Off The Lights] is supposed to be a party. It’s meant to be a journey. “There Will Be Blood” is an epic introduction; it’s definitely the most “pop” song on the record. Then, there is “Wrong Turn,” which is inspired by the movie Wrong Turn. It’s basically…you’re about to die. [Laughs] Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof also inspired the song, with all of the car doors slamming. Almost like a race to death; ‘you met the wrong one on the wrong night’. “Massacre” is the track where we incorporated a fucking Christmas song. We discovered [“Carol of the Bells”] was public domain, so it’s the dark Christmas track. We went super dramatic on it, with these crazy vocals that sound like a huge Catholic choir, which is the scariest thing on the planet. All the interludes go really hard. The record ends with “Everybody Dies,” which is my cinematic Rocky Horror Picture Show ending. It’s a bit depressing, but in an inspiring and uplifting way. I’m super proud of it; I think it’s my best vocal performance to date. It’s nearly one take all the way through.

**You’re also on tour for Clarity. How are you feeling?**

It’s the biggest tour I’ve ever done. We’re playing in some of the biggest venues I’ve ever played in. I’m headlining venues where I opened for Troye [Sivan] last year. I have staging, I have lights, I get to dial into every second of it. The costumes came to me in a dream; I was drawing and sketching them. This tour definitely has a storyline; it’s a [complete] vision. For me, it’s go time.