recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
S06E06 - Cumming and Going

Steamy episode art by Dave

This episode concludes "I Really Really (Really Really Really) Like You" by Potterotic teenage\_hustler.

The Golden Threesome announce that they will be taking a sabbatical for a few weeks.

## Episode Summary

Not only are Pansy and Ron both satisfied now, so is the house. But what does the future hold now that the door is unlocked. Have Pansy and Ron unlocked a future of happiness as well?

## Notable Moments

* Musical Parody: "We Just Can't Wait for them to Bone" cover of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" from Lion King
* Gingervitis: when a redhead makes you so sexually frustrated that you brush your teeth so hard it makes your gums bleed.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Danny could be a character on Designing Women
* Despite what the threesome think, lip biting is totally normal. The Potterotics have spoken!
* Pansy's voice drops to a lower register when she's turned on.
* Lyndsay imagines Ron giving Pansy butterfly kisses (eyelash stroking)
* (A:) Semi-erect? (D:) Well, it's a lotta cock to get erect.
* Both Danny and Allie doing the voices is such a treat.
* Danny accidentally says "Let out a load" instead of "Let out a loud" and the hosts joke that Pansy must be a squirter too.
* Side effects of wizard sex: losing focus, squirting, and seeing stars.
* Danny jokes that what if there was sounds when you came (e.g. \*bring\* of a phone or Gilbert Gottfried saying "hello")
* Pansy is being azka-passive aggressive
* Ron pulls a Love Actually and is standing on Pansy's front step.
	+ "I love pasta bake, but I love you more." ~ Allie, in Ron's voice.
* "...before silencing him...with Avada Kedavra." ~ Danny improvs a surprise twist ending.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Loins are a-blaze zabini

Danny: Up

* Sex was hot, Ron was great in bed, distinct lack of Harry and Ron was doing fine.

Lyndsay: Up

* Love the RomCom ending where he shows up at her door.
* Wished there was a Pansy Weasley Christmas appearance - a sequel?

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Paige and Mackenzie earn the jealousy of many a Potterotic that they got to meet with The Golden Threesome and other Potterotics at the Chicago meet-up.
* Paige is the first recipient of Jason, the Travelling Cock in the Roosterhood of the Travelling Cock.
* Amber's drunk divination is read at the beginning of the episode, and Lacey's is read at the end.
* Paige and Sigrid's collaboration of a cover of Mulan's "I'll Make a Man Out of You" is played at the end of the episode.
S04E03 - Have her C*ck and Eat It Too

## Have Her C#ck and Eat it Too

The hosts continue reading "Slipping" by betta329.

This is the first episode that is recorded in the Cards Against Humanity studio.

## Episode Summary

The tension between Lily and Sirius could be cut with a knife, but some secret, sexy encounters may help them release the pressure.

## Notable Moments

* Musical Parody: "Hold Me Closer, Lily Evans" cover of Tiny Dancer by Elton John.
* After Clown High School, Lyndsay attended Match the Pitch College
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Lily is quite a cool customer </sarcasm>
* Gasps of excitement at the appearance of Slughorn, who is dubbed Slüghorn in this episode.
* The hosts keep forgetting to make jokes because the story is so dramatic
* The newest GrammaGram invention: Frick ton Hair spray.
* Lyndsay and Allie compliment Danny on his dramatic reading.
* (A:) It feels very Dr. Seussy (L:) One Fish, Two fish, My balls are blue-ish (D:) Oh, the places you'll fuck!
* Reference to Season 2's Dr. Wanda Phillatia - Lyndsay decides that she's just starting her career as a sex advice columnist.
* Allie's first child will be called, Debonair Lefevere.
* Lily and Sirius may be having their secret rendezvous in the air ducting of the castle.
* Brotherhood of the Traveling Underpants AKA the Marauders Circle Jerk
* "Would you say that he is "luped in"?" ~ Danny, after Allie comments that she loves that Remus always seems to know everyone's secrets in stories.
* The Golden Threesome have problems getting the Wands Up or Down song going. Lyndsay breaks out into an improv parody of "Feel the Rhythm, Feel the Rhyme" from Cool Runnings.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Skyrocketed when Wolfstar happened.

Danny: Up

* Loves the emotion, the plot, the characters, the surprise Wolfstar.

Lyndsay: Up

* Doesn't like the lying.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Lyndsay talks about Alley's post in the FB group where she pointed out the similarities between the podcast and Boy Meets World.
Gasping Lyndsay

Gasping Lyndsay refers to the tendency of Lyndsay to gasp audibly while other people are reading the story. She does not appear to realize she does this at the time, but has been known to apologize after the fact. Sometimes it may also manifest as "oooo" rather than a gasp.

It is sometimes acknowledged as the favourite part of a particularly gasp-heavy episode for many of the Potterotics.

## Notable Occurences

* S01E09 - May the Best Man Win: Her main squeeze Ron acting like a total "git" may have been too much for her to handle and she needed to vent periodically.
* Q01E02 - A Lap Dance for Hermione
* Q01E03 - Draco's Sex Playlist
* S02E01 - Love Potion No. 9 3/4
* S02E03 - A Field of Naked Malfoys
* S02E04 - Pansy Raid
* S02E07 - Cl!t Hanger
* S02E09 - T!ts for Tat
* S02E10 - Horny & Dangerous - Allie laughs at Lyndsay's listening sounds
* Q02E01 - New Owl Who Dis?
* Q02E04 - An Unexpected Foursome
* S03E02 - Ass-thetics 101
* S03E03 - "Suck It, Malfoy"
* S03E06 - Floo-ty Call - Some very intense Lyndsay and Allie gasping in this one when more of Draco's origin story is revealed.
* S03E07 - The Boy Who Licked
* S03E08 - Exclusive Daily F#ck Buddy (EDFB)
* Q04 - What Happens in the Greenhouse Stays in the Greenhouse
* Q05 - Give A Dog A Boner
* S04E02 - Temptation Unleashed
* S04E03 - Have her C#ck and Eat It Too
* S04E04 - Oversexed Underpants
* S04E05 - Throuple Trouble
* Q07E01 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Naughty
* Q08E02 - Dela Dela Bills, Y'all
* Q09 - Wolfstar of David
* 'Rear' End Review: During Allie's reading of the custom story she wrote for Danny.
* Q10 - Ron's Tiny Problem
* S05E01 - A Hellova Hangover: Unconfirmed; may have been Allie
* S05E02 - Shag Him Again, Darling: Very excited about Pansy and Blaise and their love baby making an appearance.
* Q11 - Brotherly Lovehorn: Oooos and gasps
* S05E03 - Pen15 Pals
* S05E05 - Fingerblast from the Past
* S05E06 - Can You Zerophil the Love Tonight? - Both Allie and Lyndsay provide numerous sound effects and audible reactions to Danny's reading through this episode.
* Q12E02 - Blow Your Carbo-load
* Q13E01 - Bludger? I Hardly Know Her!
* S06E02 - Sleeping with the Enemy - Lyndsay provides a wonderful stream of gasps, sighs, foley effects and studio audience reactions throughout the episode.
* S06E04 - Checkmates
* S06E06 - Cumming and Going
* S07E01: CAUTION: Grinding Starts Forest Fires
* S07E02 - Happy BirthLAY
* Patreon Q3E4 - Wet & Riled
* S08E01 - Fantastic Kinks and Where to Find Them
* S08E02 - Blackdoor Action
* Patreon S8B1 - Bathilda Moneyshot
* S08E05 - Don't Mind if I Dil-do!
* Q18 - The Tables Have Turned (On)
Airport Run Ron

The Airport Run Ron (AKA Nice Guy Ron ) joke dates back to Episode 1 of Season 1 when Lyndsay proclaims Ron to be her Harry Potter boo and then immediately catches flak from Allie for him being too "nice". Lyndsay pointed out that he would definitely come pick her up at the airport. Being "nice" may not be "sexy" but at least Lyndsay will never be left stranded at the airport!

This joke is somewhat subjective and could be construed as complementary towards Ron, but may also be seen as a form of Ron bashing.

The amazing Potterotic Kylie (AKA crossstitchKylie) brought this joke to life by creating a custom cross-stitch design! The joke is also available as a wall clock in their store.
S08E08 - Dumble Date

## Dumble Date

This is the eighth episode of Season 8, and it covers chapter 6 of "He Who Must Not Be Disobeyed", which was co-written by two Potterotics, BrandonStrayne and Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum.

## Episode Summary

Let's go back to the very beginning: sex club, babay! This finale is HOT and full of twists: both plot and body parts. It all comes down to a shocking reunion at a amuggle restaurant double date and it is GOOD.

## Notable Moments

* Danny introduces himself as 'Queef Latifah'
* "From 0-69 in 2 minutes flat!" ~ Danny
* "That's a sex club joke" ~ Allie, after making a Wulf Blitzer joke
	+ "That is NOT a sex club joke!" ~ Danny
	+ "Gellert is a Wulf Blisterer." ~ Lyndsay
* The hosts joke that this is going to become a "Lars and the Real Girl parody and Capra's boyfriend is just going to be a blow-up doll.
* The Golden Threesome freak out over the big reveal of who the boyfriend is.
* They joke that the real reason Gellert hates Muggles is because they served too much cilantro at this restaurant.
* "He turned him 'Kay'" ~ Danny
* Somebody seems to have bumped into Allie and she skips over "A hiccough of a sob" 3 or 4 times before managing to get it out.
	+ "You've got this." ~ Danny
* Allie subconsciously keeps adding penis grabs into the reading.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Green (Up)

* Green for lurve!

Danny: Bright blue (Up)

* Love the brothers reunited and the new Gellert

Lyndsay: Green-blue (Up)

* Brothers reunited, double dates, Muggle club
Patreon Q2E1 - Erectile Discussion

## Erectile Discussion

This is the first episode of Patreon Quickiie 2, which features the story "Incendium" by Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum.

## Summary

Severus is willing to seek help for his affliction to make Nymphadora happy, but has second thoughts when his doctor turns out to be one of his old students.

## Notable Moments

* Danny goes to town on a seafood salad and the hosts vote that a Deviated Septum Curse would be cruel.
* Snape's got 99 problems and being included on a group text with people he doesn't know is one of them.
* Possible ship names: Snonks, Tonkerous, Nympherus, Snapadora, Sevonks
* "My silken pubes is all I have!" ~ Danny
* Snape may have read "The Game" at some point.
* Danny test runs a new Snape impersonation.
* Snape prematurely ejaculates from the doctor's office.
* Tonks does the infamous lip biting.
* Danny is envious of Snape, who will always know how his girlfriend is actually feeling because her hair colour will give it away. No faking orgasms for Tonks!
* Allie reveals her subconscious obsession with owls when she mispronounces scowled as "squowled"
* All the hosts impersonate Snape. He sounds vaguely like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons. (mwah wah wah)

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Down

* Neutral, but landed on down.
* Excited for the pairing and the awkward scenario they're in.

Danny: Up

* Love the plot and the characters mixed together.
* Loved the consistent voice of Snape.

Lyndsay: Down

* With hope though, likes a nicer Snape. Hopes he starts treating Tonks better.
* So happy Neville is in it.
* So excited to find out what's going on with Snape and how Neville will treat him.
Podcast Jokes

* Airport Run Ron (AKA Nice Guy Ron)
* Snape's Coarse, Sparse Black Hair
* Snape's Silken Pubes
* Prefect's Bathroom
* Professor McGotItGoinOn
* Magical Beauty Salons aka "The Magical Muff"/"Bibbity Bobbity Bush"
* Snape's Erogenous Zones Map
* 45 Minutes of Kissing
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Magical Strip Clubs
* Tramp Stamp & Deathly Hallows
* Allie pronouncing cock "cack" (Season 3)
* The Black Cloth
* Who's Jason?
* Slughorn Is Every Piece of Furniture, AKA "The -Ughorns"
* Undapants!
* Hey. Hey. Hey. U up? \*DICK PIC\*
* Verginer
* 90s references (TOO MANY TO LIST! Largely from Allie, whose cultural awareness may have halted at the Millennium.)
* Crystal Coke
* Bobsled, AKA Feel the Rhythm
* Owls With Long Sexy Legs
* New Owl, Hoo Dis?
* GIRLS NIGHT!!!! (see also SEX HEX!!!)
* Clithanger
* CONSENT!
* Danny's Pansy Voice
* Lyndsay's Sex Logistics
* A different kettle of squids
* Marjoram
* \*kiss\* Sorry!
Emily Porter

Fantastically funny and mad photoshopping skillz make this lady the entire package. She's a legend.

## Contributions

* The -Ughorns
* Feel the Rhythm (AKA Jamaican Bobsled), see also a Golden Trio variant for Q10)
* 2018 Calendar

## Shout Outs!

* Q07E01 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Naughty - the hosts applaud her on her brilliant Marauders Bobsled meme.
* Q08E02 - Dela Dela Bills, Y'all
* 'Rear' End Review
* S05E03 - Pen15 Pals: All her photoshopped images was mentioned by the hosts while discussing how they're envisioning Dana as Draco in a bad wig.
* Horny Holiday Sing-along
* S05E04 - Between a C#ck and a Hard Place: Lyndsay begs her to create a Ron/Varsity Blues meme
* Potterotica LIVE! @ ECCC: Think Inside Her Box
* Quickie 16 - Slughornball: This episode features a story written by Emily

## Gallery of Creations

A collaboration between Emily and ChelseaA collaboration between **Emily**, Dave, and Chelsea
Q04 - What Happens in the Greenhouse Stays in the Greenhouse

## What Happens in the Greenhouse Stays in the Greenhouse

Yummy visual courtesy of Potterotic Dave.

In this episode the hosts read "Bewitchment" by Bryonia\_Alba and features our first Love-Bottom pairing.

## Episode Summary

Temperature and humidity are usually high in the greenhouses, but when Luna shows Nevilla a mysterious plant, things get especially hot and steamy.

## Pairings

* Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood
* Susan Bones/Blaise Zabini (implied)
* Lavender Brown/Terry Boot (implied)

## Notable Moments

* The hosts debate the best ship name (Lovegood or Bottomgood, or LongLove)
* Reference to the GrammaGram empire from Season 2
* Danny's Luna voice is just as good as his Pansy voice
	+ "Channel Pansy, and then do the exact opposite." ~ Allie
* Luna's voice starts to creep Allie and Lyndsay out
	+ "It sounds like a haunted little Chucky doll." ~ Lyndsay
	+ "The best is that Danny's whole body changes to accomodate the new voice!" ~ Allie
	+ "I grow boobs." ~ Danny
* "He's in it for the plant." ~ Allie
* Danny is convinced that greenhouse 8 is a meth lab
* Flower orgy...Fleurgy
* The hosts become convinced Luna is a serial killer
* "It ate a mouse?" ~Danny accidentally mispronounces "moue"
* Flower money shots
	+ Lyndsay is disgusted that Danny couldn't remember the term "money shot"
* Gasping Lyndsay
* The hosts become convinced both Luna and Nevilla are high on meth
* (A:) This seems like a scene from Alice in Wonderland. (L:) Alice in Bonerland
* Allie has a history of foam parties in her past.
* Danny's Luna voice is pushing it towards horror porn for Lyndsay.
* Lyndsay wonders why Sprout has aphrodisiac plants on stock and wonders if her and Flitwick have romantic interludes in greenhouse 8.
* Allie jokes it would be funny if one nipple tasted sweet but the other one tasted sour or salty.
* Luna has been to Bibbity Bobbity Bush
* Luna may be a squirter as well. Possibly may be providing the irrigation system for the greenhouses.
* Lyndsay isn't surprised Neville is good at going down on girls
* Danny misreading a line causes Luna to remove her eye balls.
* Sprout is a "cool" professor...or rolls them up in a carpet and drops them to the bottom of the Black Lake

## Wands Up or Down?

* Danny: Way up (clicking at that glass ceiling in the greenhouse)
	+ likes the pairing
	+ likes that we know Luna's personality so well, so it was easy to imagine her getting into this situation
* Allie: Up
	+ thinks the pairing is very dreamy, is into them
	+ feels like Dumbledore is gonna swoop in and give Neville 10 points for boning Luna
	+ thought it was sweaty and sensual
* Lyndsay: Up
	+ writing was very peotic
	+ fun that there is an aphrodisiac plant
	+ thinks they were already attracted to each other and the plant just heightened it
	+ liked that both were in charge in a good way
Danny Chapman

Danny Chapman lives in Chicago, IL, works in branding and is 1/3 of the Golden Threesome that hosts the Potterotica Podcast. Not one of the original hosts, his first guest appearance on the podcast was in Season 1, Episode 3, followed by appearances in Episodes 7 and 8 before becoming a full-fledged host.

## Fun Facts About Danny

* He started reading the Harry Potter books when he was a wee boy of 9 and his body was starting to change. (Worthy of Worship)
* He reread the books every summer at camp. (Worthy of Worship)
* Has a "Dudley" body shape. (Worthy of Worship)
* Favourite HP character is Minerva McGonagall
* As a wee lad, got to meet J.K. Rowling in person! (45 Minutes of Kissing)
* He's the go-to graphic design wiz (A Lap Dance For Hermione)
* If Danny could have one superpower, it would be to be able to be able to rip off his clothes at the drop of a hat (A Lap Dance for Hermione)
* Turn-ons: Ceiling sex (A Field of Naked Malfoys)

## Hogwarts House Affiliation

Hufflepuff (assumed, based on the shirt he was wearing at the Potterotica LIVE! event)

## Memorable Jokes, Gags, and References

* Wore a shirt to the last book release that said "Professor McGonagall? More like Professor McGotItGoinOn.
* Channeling Pansy's spirit
* "hey" "hey" "hey" \*DICK PIC\* (Floo-ty Call)
* August Playboy in the 2018 calendar
Q07 - Cinnamon Sugar

Quickie 7 features the story Cinnamon Sugar by MalfoysMuggleMrs.

Both episodes of this quickie received 3 Wands Up, the second multi-episode story to have done so (the first being Quickie 2).

## Summary

"I said drop it, alright?"

"Okay," Luna drawled before pausing entirely. "...As you wish."

Ginny and Luna spend an afternoon together down by the Black Lake.

## Other Characters That Appear

* Hermione Granger
* Draco Malfoy

## Episodes

* Q07E01 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Naughty
* Q07E02 - Loose Lips Sink 'Ships

## Notable Jokes, Gags and References

* Long, sexy owl legs (Episode 1)
* Allie developing their new ship name, Huna (but spelled "Guna") (Episode 1)
* Lyndsay's excitement about braids (Episode 1)
* Melon jokes and ranking: honeydew voted the worst by the hosts. (Episode 1)
* CUH-CUH-CUH-CONSENT! sound effect (Episode 1)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 1)
* Marjoram (Episode 1)
* Musical Parodies
	+ Victoria Rose - Lily (Cover of Dolly Parton's "Jolene") - themed around season 4 (Episode 1)
	+ Emily - Cover of Stayin' Alive themed around season 4 (Episode 1)
	+ Hilary - Cover of ABBA's Gimme Gimme Gimme (Episode 1)
	+ Mystery Potterotic - A second cover of Stayin' Alive (Episode 1)
	+ Hilary - Cover of Edwin Starr's "War" (Episode 1)
	+ Mystery Potterotic - Cover of Chic's "Le Freak" (Episode 2)

* FACTS HEX!!! (Episode 2)

* Feel the Rhythm! (Episode 2)
* "Gurl, are you seeing thestrals, cuz I just murdered that vagina!" (Episode 2)
Dracosoftie

Dracosoftie, also known as Bru Baker, is a former fanfiction author whose work was originally going to be featured in season 3, however the hosts ended up going with another story instead. The first episode of the story was released later as a Patreon exclusive. She is now focused on writing original M/M romance works.

## Links

* Fanfiction.net
* Personal website

## Referenced in

* S3E1 Alternate: Lights, Camera, Getting Some Action
S03E02 - Ass-thetics 101

## Ass-thetics 101

The debate rages on.

The story for this season is "The Critiquer" by dysonrules. This episode continues on Part one of the story.

## Episode Summary

Harry meets a few of his new classmates and Draco remains unimpressed with the quality of dick pics in the world.

## Notable Moments

* The third evil twin, Rughorn, is born.
* Lyndsay has performed some census taking and data analysis to try to shed some light on the splooge vs. spooge debate.
	+ current status: 91% splooge
	+ Allie seems to think "Detroit and Canada" is one area.
* Other proposed ratings for dick pics: TMB = Too much balls, BB = Bad Background, NHE = Not hard enough, HSIC = Holy shit it's crooked, NA = Nice Angle, U = unsolicited, TBNT = Thanks, but no thanks.
* Divination is the least employable Hogwarts subject
* Waking up after a night of drinking and dick pics: Well Hungover
* Allie saying "cack" a lot.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Harry's cock looks like a desensitized cucumber...?
* "That's how I feel about this podcast. It's not porn, it's just above porn. It's comedy. Sure Nana's friends, I'll tell you about my podcast." ~ Danny
* Allie has a brain fart while reading. Third time (after a gigglefest) is the charm.
* The hosts joke they should use the sorting hat to sort the photography students into what type of photography they're doing (portraiture, landscape, dick pics, etc.)
* Allie predicts that Harry will go into business with Draco by the end of the story.
* Lyndsay completely spoils the ending of My Best Friend's Wedding
* Allie informs people about "olming" (sp?) which is apparently joint masturbation that was being pitched to office workers? I could find no Google references to this. Possible Allie dreamt it up.
	+ However I did find reference to ollning, en: The act of touching an object with your penis. This is apparently a Swedish thing? olla: "ollon" is the Swedish word for "glans".

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Excited, love the build up and that Harry is ready to learn

Danny: Up

* Likes the overlapping perspectives.

Lyndsay: Up

* Not aroused, but digging the tension.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Amy Joy reignited the splooge vs. spooge debate on the FB group
* Voicemails played from Sarah (shares excitement about Drarry pairing), Paige (hypothesizes why people don't like Ron), Amber (calls in drunk to gush about the podcast and to demand a tour).
Q15 - Remjob

## Remjob

Cover art by Dave

This quickie features Swing, Baby, Swing by Snapealina.

## Episode Summary

Fleur and Tonks propose an evening of swinging, leaving Bill and Remus to become intimately acquainted with each other.

## Relationship(s)

* Bill Weasley/Remus Lupin (main, only sexual encounter detailed)
* Fleur Weasley/Bill Weasley (background)
* Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks (background)
* Fleur Weasley/Nymphadora Tonks (implied)

## Notable Moments

* The hosts started with one of their Quickie 1 style intros.
* Hosts joke they should all carbo-load before they get too far into this swinging.
* Allie gives Fleur a slightly Russian accent.
* Fleur is accidentally sexy with everything she does.
* Unbreakable Bone
* Bill and Remus need to provide loud commentary so that Fleur and Tonks can follow their progress in the other room.
	+ "Thanks for the butt sex Remus!" ~ Lyndsay
* 7 cock rings...or horcruxes?
* Lots of discussion of who will bottom (and sadly the hosts miss the chance to make a joke about being the "betam")
* Danny sets the record straight: cocks do not taste delicious. Certain ones taste better than others, but "delicious" is an over-reach.
* Bill loves the work...his Remjob
* Hopefully this wasn't a huge misunderstanding and Tonks and Fleur aren't just doing mani/pedis and watching Mean Girls in the other room.
* Danny does a running "cum count"
	+ "He's pulling in from behind. He's coming up the rear! It's going to be a tight finish!" ~ Danny and Allie.
* \*kiss\* sorry! reference
* "The podcast that lasers together, stay-sers together" ~ Danny
* Bill's sex talk continues to be disappointing.
* Lyndsay proposes some star themed jokes:
	+ Star-Bangered Banter
	+ Star-Spanking banter
	+ Twink, Twink, Seeing Stars
	+ Stars! They fuck just like us!
	+ Star Bones

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Fun. Bill's sex talk is terrible, but she loves Remus

Danny: Down

* Swinging is an atmosphere to let loose, not build relationships

Lyndsay: Up

* Kind of a hoftie. Liked Bill being more in charge and sex positive, but wanted/expected to see what the girls were up to.
* Hypothesized Fleur was too soft for Tonks

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Episode ends with two Potterotics created songs that were inspired by season 5.
	+ Eric Scull remixed Lola
	+ Jenny remixed "My Funny Valentine", entitled "My Horny Valentine"
Q12 - Cedric Submissive

In this quickie, the hosts read the story "Cedric Submissive" by PotterParadise16.

## Summary

Cedric may be the one that invites Cho over for dinner, but it's Cho that takes charge of the situation in teh bedroom.

## Episodes

* Q12E01 - Bone Appétit
* Q12E02 - Blow Your Carbo-load

## Jokes, Gags and References

* Musical Parodies: Dave sang Allstar and Ulrike sang a cover of the Friends theme song.
* The Sisters -Ughorn (Episode 1)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 2)
* Macarena added to Potterotica Playlist
Q13 - Bet On It

In this quickie, the hosts read the story "Bet On It" by idreamofdraco. Both episodes of this quickie received the coveted 3 wands up from the hosts, making it only the second multi-episode story to receive this honour (the first being the 4 episode quickie 2)

 Summary

Hogwarts flying instructor Ginny Weasley and Potions master Draco Malfoy have a contentious relationship, rife with insults, bad jokes, and unethical wagers. After five years of heated exchanges, their relationship takes a new turn, but will Ginny accept the gamble?

## Other Characters That Appear

* Septima Vector
* Matilda Quartremaine

## Episodes

* Q13E01 - Bludger? I Hardley Know Her!
* Q13E02 - Catching Snitches Not Feelings

## Jokes, Gags and References

* Danny does an amazing Dobby voice (Episode 1)
* Matilder (Allie's mispronunciation of "Matilda") - (Episode 1, 2)
* Gasping Lyndsay - (Episode 1, 2)
* Musical Parodies (Episode 1 - "This Is Me" cover by Stephanie)
* The -Ughorn family expands to include Bar Cart Sisters (Episode 2)
Verginer

"Verginer" is an intentional(?) mispronunciation of the word "vagina" that was first used in Season 2, Episode 5 when the story referenced Pansy's "entirely too large" vagina.

## Referenced in

* S02E05 - The Vibrating Broomstick: First occurrence
* S02E07 - Cl!t Hanger: Lyndsay questions why Draco's even having sex with Pansy because he's complained about her "verginer"
* S02E08 - Sexpelliarmus
* S04E05 - Throuple Trouble
* S05E03 - Pen15 Pals: hosts imagine sound effects for when Harry and Draco's penises become verginers.
Device Wallpapers

Several kind, caring, generous Potterotics have taken the time to create device wallpapers for the podcast.

## Alley Thompson

These wallpapers were created by Alley Thompson and feature a number of jokes from the podcast:

* GIRLS NIGHT!
* Bibbity Bobbity Your Bush
* Wands Up or Down Song
* New Owl, Hoo Dis?

## Nessie Marie

These wallpapers were created by Nessie Marie and feature slogans from the Potterotica store as well as these Potterotica jokes:

* Undapants!
* Season 3
* The -Ughorns

## Ulrike

Not only has this Potterotic been incredibly helpful with administrating and adding to this wiki, they even made some gorgeous device wallpapers!

* New Year, Ewww...me
* Wands Up or Down Song

## Chelsea

GIF wallpaper based on the August 2018 calendar pageFor the GIF, click on photo to download.GIF phone wallpaper based on December 2018 entry of the 2018 Calendar
S01E06 - Worship Takes Time

## Worship Takes Time

This is the first episode where they started pimping out the merchandise in their store. The initial designs included:

* Hermione so Fione
* Loco for Draco
* Into Snape and Not Sorry
* Professor McGotItGoinOn
* Nice Guy Ron
* Keep it Sexy and Magical (which became the slogan/logo for the Potterotics Facebook Group)

The title of this chapter is "Worship 1".

## Episode Summary

If the enormous tub full of hot water wasn't enough to make it steamy in the Prefects' bathroom, Snape and Hermione definitely are. Things heat up as Snape moves onto more traditional erogenous zones.

## Notable Moments

* Mention of Snape's Erogenous Zone Map
* Mention of Danny
* Referenced Snape's disinterest in BJs from the previous episode.
* Linguistic lessons or How to Pronounce Severus in a Sexy Way
* Muggle lovemaking...where's the spells?
* Is Snape a vampire? Artery and vein mentions make Lyndsay and Allie wonder...cue Twilight comparisons.
* "Put your pelvis on my pelvis" and other associated pelvis jokes.
* FIRST KISS!
* So much kissing
* Severus has callused hands which sort of makes him a carpenter...which sort of makes him Jesus-like?
* Severus is given a southern US country twang for some reason? Allie and Lyndsay also seem confused as to why this is.
* Tales of Misadventure from Lyndsay's youth (being grinded on in the dance clubs...but only if the guy was cute.)
* Mystical Muff reference
* Comparing Snape's standing behind Hermione to NEXT's Too Close lyrics.
Season 1

In Season 1, Potterotica hosts Allie LeFevere and Lyndsay Rush read "In the Prefect's Bathroom" by Ms-Figg, sometimes accompanied by their guest-turned-host Danny Chapman.

"In the Prefect's Bathroom" by Ms Figg is a Snamione fic (that is to say a fanfiction story featuring Severus Snape and Hermione Granger as a pairing). It consists of nine chapters, each of which was turned into one respective episode.

## Sex

Hermione goes into the Prefect's bathroom to enjoy a luxury bathing experience, but she's interrupted by Draco and so she runs out of the big bath and forgot to put clothes on, so as she was running draco grabs Hermione and takes off his clothes and sticks it in her and carry’s her back in the back with it still in her and has sex with her in the bath.

## Episodes

* S01E01 - His Huge...Honker
* S01E02 - It's a Bathe Off
* S01E03 - Worthy of Worship
* S01E04 - An Open Relationship
* S01E05 - "You Don't Like BJs?!"
* S01E06 - Worship Takes Time
* S01E07 - 45 Minutes of Kissing
* S01E08 - Squirts So Good
* S01E09 - May the Best Man Win
* "Here's the Deal with Ms. Figg"

## Other Characters that Appear

* Minerva McGonagall
* Ron Weasley
* Harry Potter

## Notable Jokes, Gags and References from Season 1

Notable peculiarities and recurring jokes from this season include:

* Airport Run Ron
* Dubious consent: Age difference/power dynamics and the age of Hermione within the story.
* coarse, sparse black hair on Snape's legs
* Hermione = Peeping Tomasina (Episode 1)
* Snape's silky pubic hair
* 18-23 year old boners (Episodes 2, 3, 4)
* Snape's worship of a woman's body (Episode 3)
* Snape's Erogenous Zones Map (Episode 5)
* 45 minutes of kissing
* Snape takes a pass on blowies (Episode 5)
* The prefect's bathroom as a site for hook-ups
* The hosts not remembering the prefect's bathroom being a thing, even though it was prominently featured in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (discussed in episodes 1-6, but finally resolved in episode 7)
* Huge amounts of towels being available in the prefect's bathroom and Snape making a mattress out of said towels (Episode 7).
* Snape using a wash cloth and Hermione later using that same wash cloth to clean herself (Episodes 1, 2, and 3). Wealth of towels, but a dearth of washcloths. (Episode 7)
* Dubious Consent; the hosts continuously reassuring themselves that Hermione is over 18 (Episodes 1, 3, and 4, but later confirmed in episode 5 that this was set after the Battle of Hogwarts and she is 19 in the story) and also the fact that Snape kind of blackmails her into sexual favours (Episode 2 and 3)
* Lyndsay's repulsion for washcloths (Episode 3 and 4) and the word "belly" (Episode 2, 3, and 5)
* Vajazzling / The Magical Muff / Magical Beauty Salons
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Dense Harry
Q02E04 - An Unexpected Foursome

## An Unexpected Foursome

The Deathly Swallows

This episode was streamed live on Facebook.

This episode is the second of four reading "Need You Now" by thewaterfalcon.

## Episode Summary

Ron is so desperate for Pansy that he bypasses the foreplay and goes straight to playing Ring Around the Pansy. A quickie within the quickie. Their secret is then uncovered by Draco and Hermione, but fortunately they have a secret of their own they want kept.

## Notable Moments

* TECH HEX! - The Hosts joke that they "got splinched" while trying to start the live stream.
* Perhaps the last Dansy voice for awhile :(
* The unveiling of....the Deathly Hallows Tramp Stamps! (or Tramp Stamp Shame Stack in Allie's case)
* Bad breath in wizarding world is still called "Dragon Breath"
* Pansy's patronus is a panda
* Ron skips the foreplay entirely
* Fortunately, hopefully the last time we hear Allie's Ron voice.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* "Wait, do I finally get to have a voice? Just kidding. I don't want one." ~ Lyndsay
* "It's like Pansy knew what your tattoo meant. All is possible. Aww" ~ Lyndsay
	+ It's fate foreshadowing (fate foreskinning)
* "I want the women to either a) be like, 'hey idiots, chill out", or b) cat fight." ~ Danny
* (D:) Did Ron just pull a Bros before Hos and run after Hermione? Good for him (L:) Surprised again that Ron's a good guy. Everyone, get with the program!
* "Hey Draco, how does it feel to be weiner cousins with Weasley?" ~ Danny
	+ "I think that if guys are Eskimo brothers when they have sex with the same woman, then women should be Igloo Sisters when they have sex with the same guy. Thoughts?" ~ Danny
	+ Lyndsay needs the analogy clarified
* Lyndsay does an amazing performance of setting the scene.
* Dansy sings the final words (and lyrics) of Need You Now

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Love both of the pairings, fessed up on the end, and going back for more

Danny: Up

* Ron was a good guy and Pansy had enough self worth to say no to Draco

Lyndsay: Up

* Loved that Ron and Pansy stood up the Draco and that Pansy is itching for more of that sexy Ron.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Rachel - artwork of Kettle of Squids pouring over the side of the kettle. Tasked with her next art assignment (panda in Louboutins looking like a hot mess, based on a prompt from Christian)
* Hosts display Kylie's Airport Run Ron cross-stitch. Nessie proposes Lyndsay wear it as a medallion.
* Justine coins "shame stack"
* A Philippines Potterotic braves the time change.
* Stephanie has goosebumps
* Amber declares this a whole different kettle of squids
S07E03 - HoliGay Inn

## HoliGay Inn

Gorgeous episode illustration by Potterotic Noora

This episode continues with "Open to Love" and moves onto "Things to Do in Berlin (When You're Bored)"

The hosts plug a Vice article that was written recently and several of the Potterotics were interviewed for it.

## Episode Summary

Ginny and Harry both explore new feelings with old friends.

## Notable Moments

* Danny drops lots of sports references.
* Harry's travel blog would be called "GlobePotter"
* The hosts discuss trampoline safety.
* "You know I already can't picture what's happening." ~ Lyndsay
* \*kiss\* Sorry!
* "She began to large-mouth bass her!" ~ Lyndsay
* Allie can't imagine Harry excelling at oral sex.
* "We should make Danny do all the orgasm sounds" ~ Lyndsay
	+ "I don't want that to be my thing: lackluster orgasm squeals" ~ Danny
	+ "Ahhhhh, I'm stuck in a well still." ~ Allie
* Danny shares a GIF of spongebob licking ice cream, which I am assuming is this one
* Neville seems to have a case of amnesia and forgets that he was at the Battle of Hogwarts.
* Hosts joke that Harry is self-involved.
* "Harry just threw his dick down on the table!" ~ Lyndsay
* Lyndsay wants to read a story where he's dropping tons of innuendo, but accidentally.
	+ "Are you a top or bottom? Then he opens the door to the bedroom and there's bunk beds." ~ Danny
* The hosts dream cast an Amelia Bedelia live action adaptation.
* Allie continues to pound on Harry.
* Wizarding hotels: HoliGay Inn, Wiz Inn, Super 9 3/4
* Mad Eye for the Wizard Guy intoning Neville to FROST THOSE TIPS!
* Danny and Allie have a joke stand-off, neither will stop until their bit is CHAMPION.
* Lyndsay thinks the hotel bed is Plughorn
* Lyndsay's reading takes a hit when she tries to think of a good sports joke (What do you call two wizards playing basketball? Wand on Wand). #NewYearEwwMe

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Loves that there was both a 2nd and 3rd base in the story.

Danny: Up

* Harry and Neville are fumbly as humans, so this remained true to their characters.
* A home run in his playbook. A strike.
* Likes an explicit bisexual character.

Lyndsay: Up

* Hopes Harry is more direct and easy to read so Neville has a good experience.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* The Golden Threesome applaud Stephanie's organization of Jason, the Traveling Cock
* Rachel got lauded for helping with the Vice article.
Stephanie Stratos

Stephanie is one of the OG Potterotics (Member #12, not that she's bragging ;)) and is a regular face around the Potterotics FB group. She has even serenaded us with her own version of Wild Cherry's "Play that Funky Music", "Read that Sexy Fanfic".

## Contributions

* Read that Sexy Fanfic song
* Do You Even Leviosa? founder/admin
* This is Me Cover
* Love is a Locked Door song

## Shout Outs!

* Q08E01 - The Hot and Sexy Loving - The Golden Threesome play her Read That Sexy Fanfic voicemail.
* Q08E02 - Dela Dela Bills, Y'all
* Q13E01 - Bludger? I Hardly Know Her!
* S07E01: CAUTION: Grinding Starts Forest Fires

## Read That Sexy Fanfic Lyrics

I’ve been forever single

Never had it on the reg

I never had a man of own

just a lot of one night stands.

\*

I always feel so horny

need a way to relieve that itch

and I decided quickly, yes I did

to search for harry potter sex

\*

And I was desperate, and lonely, and oh so horny

and just when, it hit me, I pressed play on the pod and said

read that sexy fanfic you guys

will Minerva make a cameo?

read that sexy fanfic you guys!

Allie and Lindsay and Danny readin that fanfic tonight! Girls night!

\*

I tried to tell my friends

They thought that I was out of my mind

They said “Harry Potter is for kids”

But I said just give it a try.

\*

And now they are obsessed

with Snape’s erogenous zones

I’m fucking Snape in my mind

But if it’s not him its Dramione for me

\*

There’s been a Hinny, a Ronsy, a cock critiquing Drarry,

the mauraders, in a thruple

fingering each others buttholes, screaming

\*

read that sexy fanfic you guys

Panic about Hermione’s age!

read that sexy fanfic you guys,

Plughorn is fucking McGonagall in the butt! Wands Up!
Q18 - The Tables Have Turned (On)

## The Tables Have Turned (On)

This is a Plughorn special episode that was released to celebrate the Potterotics Facebook Group hitting 3000 members! It was written by our very own Potterotic, GhostGaze, called "The Disturbing Discovery of Borace Plughorn."

## Notable Moments

* Danny gets to use his actual name in introductions again, but we all miss "Giggs" (Allie missing Channing Scrotum.)
* In honour of 3000 Potterotics, they murdered a duck (not really, just sounded like it--Don't go after them PETA!)
* The Golden Threesome want the Potterotics to flush out the Ughorn family tree canon. They will need more stories for the next milestone.
* Favourite thing from the group:
	+ Lyndsay - the friendships that have formed and all the meet-ups that happen
	+ Danny - the proliferation of spin-off clubs.
	+ Allie - When she gets credit for Lyndsay's jokes, but also the engagement and creativity level of everyone, and not just in the main group, but in the 11 or so spin-off groups.
* Allie and Lyndsay come down hard on "rutting"
* Lyndsay tells the story about the lady she saw walking her ferret.
* The hosts make cameos in the story.
* Obviously, The -Ughorns make appearances here, as do many other beloved podcast jokes, such as 45 minutes of kissing.
* Danny declares that it is now canon that Horace and Borace are Tauruses.
	+ Lyndsay is also a Taurus, who used to drive a Taurus.
* Allie pulls out her long-lost Snape voice from Season 1 while Lyndsay gasps in excitement.
* The hosts make plans to make a pet-related subgroup

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Wants more -Ughorns

Danny: Up

* Has already submitted his application for Hogwarts School of Finding Empty Rooms, Nooks, crannies, and Prefects Bathrooms in Which to Shag In

Lyndsay: Up

* Really wants more -Ughorn origin stories
Patreon Q2E2 - Combust a Nut

## Combust a Nut

This is the second episode of Patreon Quickie 2, which features the story "Incendium" by Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum.

## Episode Summary

The story really heats up, but in an entirely unexpected way, when we find out that Severus' affliction involves spontaneous combustion upon arousal. Fortunately Neville has a plan and it involves cooling Tonks down with an Ice Potion.

## Notable Moments

* The Hosts wonder if there will be some Snymphadorabottom action
* Danny is finally starting to feel better from his seafood salad from last episode.
* Allie wonders whether Neville is breaking professional conduct rules and live streaming Severus' counselling session.
* Dragon dick = magical STI in which you spontaneously combust during arousal.
* Severus thinks about Mr. Potter's performance in potions to kill any arousal.
* (A:) He's got a real "Blaze" Zabini happening. (D:) A Blaze ZaPeeni
* Severus is like Katniss Everdeen, only it's his penis on fire.
* The hosts joke that Snape could furiously masturbate to send them up in flames and that's the real source of the Dark Mark in the sky.
* "The only cure for ASA is ASS." ~ Allie
* Hosts joke that Snape actually caused the Room of Requirement fire.
* Allie has a gigglefest.
* Snape and Tonks are about to go on a Lay-cation
* For being a treatment room for spontaneous combustion, it's surprising that everything is incredibly flammable in it.
* Hosts share stories about a Chicago senior citizen sex hotel.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Can't wait to see what's going to happen

Danny: Up

* Didn't see that affliction coming!

Lyndsay: Up

* Set up is amazing.
Cards Against Muggles Potterotica Edition

Cards Against Muggles Potterotica Edition is a remix of the incredibly fun Cards Against Humanity game. This version contains 196 question cards and 630 answer cards and they're specifically focused on the wizarding world as crafted by J.K. Rowling. This game is most definitely not for children though! In the true spirit of Cards Against Humanity, nothing is too depraved or dark to be included in this game. It was created by a fellow Potterotic, Chelsea, and is offered free of charge for download on the Potterotica Podcast website.

The download includes the question and answer cards, plus an instruction sheet that can be printed out. Supplies needed are a printer, white paper (card stock recommended), coloured paper (card stock in the four house colours recommended), scissors and some free time.

Disclaimer:

This game is an unofficial remix of Cards Against Humanity game which is being offered free of charge and claims no ownership of any of the characters, locations, or concepts mentioned in the cards. J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic, etc. still own all rights to the entire Harry Potter franchise.
GIRLS NIGHT!!!!

GIRLS NIGHT!!!! (exact number of exclamations points is up for debate) is a joke that originated in episode 1 of quickie 1 (and became the title of the episode). In the story, Hermione, Ginny, Angelina, and Luna go out on the town in Muggle London to see some hunky men take it off, only to discover their old schoolmate Draco performing. As they are entering the club, they all shout this phrase.

> *“Girls night!” they all yelled, as they entered the club.*
>
>

This has become a favourite Potterotic joke and comes up often in chats and jokes (including on many Potterotics' Wango cards in season 5). It is also repeated on several episodes of the podcast, usually said in a high pitch scream by Lyndsay and/or Allie. Often the actual words will be replaced (e.g. SEX HEX!!!), but the chant will be delivered in a high pitched shrieking voice.

## Referenced in

* Q01E01 - Girls Night! (Origin; name of episode) - "What is worse than girls that have a girls night and yell "Girls night!"? Nothing." ~ Lyndsay.
* Q01E02 - A Lap Dance for Hermione
* Q01E03 - Draco's Sex Playlist
* S02E01 - Love Potion No. 9 3/4
* S02E02 - Hermione's First D - First occurrence of "SEX HEX!" - Draco's is casting sexy incantations on Hermione from afar.
* S02E03 - A Field of Naked Malfoys: SEX HEX! and FIELD WANG!
* S02E04 - Pansy Raid: SEX HEX!
* Q02E04 - An Unexpected Foursome - TECH HEX!
* Q03 - The OG Wands Up: BLACK SLACKS!
* S03E01 - D!ck GIF: EX HEX!
* Potterotica LIVE! - Gin-ny & Polyjuice - TECH HEX!
* Q07E02 - Loose Lips Sink 'Ships - FACTS HEX!
* Q08E01 - The Hot and Sexy Loving: "FANG WANG!" and "NEXT HEX!"
* Q09 - Wolfstar of David: SOCKS HEX!
* Rear End Review - SEX HEX
* S05E02 - Shag Him Again, Darling
* S05E04 - Between a C#ck and a Hard Place
* S07E01: CAUTION: Grinding Starts Forest Fires - DICK NIC! and TRACK SEX!
* S08E04 - Maître of D - LUXURY!
Räume

## Diagnose

* Empfang
* Allgemeinarzt
* Basisdiagnose
* Röntgen
* Station
* Psychiatrie
* Labor
* CT Scanner
* Ultraschallraum
* Desinfektion
* Beratungszimmer

## Behandlung

* Apotheke
* Injektion
* Schönheitspflege
* Elektroschocks
* Operationssaal
* Hexereizimmer
* Akkupunktur
* Biochemie-Zimmer
* Portalraum
* Wunschzimmer

## Einrichtung

* Personalzimmer
* Toilette
* Retter
* Studienzimmer
* ICU
Petyr Baelish

Lord of Harrenhal

Lord protector of the Eyrie and the Vale of Arryn

Vargo Hoat (Lord of Harrenhal)

"I did warn you not to trust me, you know." - Petyr to Eddard Stark after betraying him.

Petyr Baelish, also known as **Littlefinger,** is a member of House Baelish. He is a major character who appears in the first four books of A Song of Ice and Fire. He set up the War of the Five Kings.
Robb Stark

I have won every battle, yet somehow I'm losing this war. - Robb to his mother Catelyn Tully.

## Robb Stark

### Titles

King in the NorthKing of the Trident

Lord of Winterfell

### Predecssor

Torrhen Stark (King in the North)Eddard Stark (Lord of Winterfell)

## Biographical Information

### Died

299 AC, stabbed in the heart by Roose Bolton at the Red Wedding, the Twins

## Section Header

### Siblings

Jon SnowSansa Stark

Arya Stark

Bran Stark

Rickon Stark

## Books

### A Dance of Dragons

(Mentioned)

**Robb Stark,** is a member of House Stark and the firstborn child and son of Eddard Stark and Catelyn Tully, he was the King in the North and the Trident and the Lord of Winterfell.
Sansa Stark

"There are no heroes...In life, monsters win. - Sansa Stark after her father is executed.

## Sansa Stark

### Alias

Little BirdJonquil

Alayne Stone

Lady Lannister

## Biographical Information

### Allegiance

House StarkHouse Lannister (Through marriage)

House Arryn (as Alayne Stone)

House Baelish (as Alayne Stone)

## Section Header

### Siblings

Robb StarkArya Stark

Bran Stark

Rickon Stark

Jon Snow

## Game of Thrones

### Seasons

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

**Sansa Stark,** also known as **Alayne Stone** is a member of House Stark. She is the first daughter and second child of Eddard Stark and Catelyn Tully. She serves as a POV Character in the books.
Patreon Q3E3 - Masturbate a Mile in Someone Else's Undapants

## Masturbate a Mile in Someone Else's Undapants

This episodes continues the story "Gin 'N' Juice" by The\_G0lden\_Sn4tch that will be read for Patreon Quickie 3.

## Episode Summary

Draco and Cho vex Ginny so much that she decides the only thing to do is take a nice relaxing soak in the Prefects' bathroom, but to her surprise, her doppelganger seems to have had the same idea.

## Notable Moments

* The hosts comment that it's typical that Draco, a transparent pale male, got assigned a Head of House before Ginny or Cho. Damn the patriarchy!
* "Ya Burnt!" ~ Danny
* Flying a broom is the witch equivalent of riding a bike.
* "The pile of robes were actually just a pile of socks -- it's Dobby!" ~ Danny
* The hosts have an in depth discussion about body swapping and whether they would be aroused in another body, which inevitably leads to a discussion of the movie Face/Off.
* Cho really masturbated a mile in Ginny's undapants.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Intrigued

Danny: Up

* Hopes that both it was Cho and was not Cho. He hasn't given up the hope that it's actually Dobby.

Lyndsay: Up

* Story is so good
Jaime Lannister

Warden of the East (Formerly)

"The things I do for love." - Jaime pushing Bran off a tower in Winterfell.

**Jaime Lannister,** mostly called **The Kingslayer** is a member of House Lannister. He is the son of Tywin Lannister and Joanna Lannister. He serves as a major POV Character in A Storm of Swords to A Dance with Dragons. He is the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
The A Song of Ice and Fire Wiki

## Welcome to the The A Song of Ice and Fire Wiki

This wiki is about the A Song of Ice and Fire novels.

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