Episode 4

The fourth episode of Lecture Hall. Uploaded on October 6, 2020

recapped by Kevin on 9/30/21

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	+ We learn it is 6:00 PM PST on Monday (October 5th, 2020) and a current trending topic is the deeply sinister K-POP thing, “HE’S BACK”
	+ Dylan announces she is going to get her haircut for the first time in a year as she is about to be on TV again for a thing that Broti has already forgotten about
	+ B&D decide it is “a crisis of parenting to have a SAG card”, a deeply grim assessment of Hollywood, and again breaking their rule of never speaking about the entertainment industry just 1:55 into the pod
* Mystery Corner
	+ Dylan confuses readers with listeners
	+ Dylan has received a mysterious handwritten letter with a poorly spelled version of her name
	+ Dylan reads the letter, written by a deeply disturbed person but that does sound oddly like something Broti would write as a parody
	+ Dylan has sadly lost the enclosed tract which may have clarified some of the ideas in the letter
	+ Dylan suspects the author is actually from UTA and not Linda the little grey-haired lady
	+ Broti is even more scared for Dylan than usual
	+ B&D decide to table this discussion for another week
* B&D shout out to friend of the pod Oprah Winfrey
	+ Dylan shares a shower thought about Gayle showing Oprah their pod
	+ B&D reveal they think Oprah Magazine is Oprah’s finsta, or her winsta, if you will
* B&D give a final shout out to Linda the mysterious letter writer for both supporting the postal service and for her spine-chilling vibes
* Theme song corner
	+ Broti wants a really involved theme song for Mystery Corner, a thing that just happened minutes ago
* B&D decide that Linda will be a future guest
* Politics corner
	+ Broti asks if they should discuss the “fuhrer in chief”
	+ Dylan’s only take is the Hope Hicks is hotter than Kayleigh McEnany
	+ Broti agrees that it is a bone structure and hair color issue
	+ Dylan has a stroke after hearing Broti’s claim that “A blonde 2 is an anywhere else 8”
	+ Broti speculates that Trump is already dead (he was not)
	+ B&D discuss the “weekend at bernie’s”-ing of political figures
	+ Broti’s dad compares Trump to a Bengali leader then spills some tea in his classic sassy attitude
* Broti’s topic is on theme, the terrifying Plague Doctor Costume

### Broti's Segment

* Broti reveals she is sponsored by the horrible nightmare cream Head to Toe (there are actually a lot of products with this name and it's not clear what they are talking about here)
* B&D apologize to Oprah for their confusion over posies
* Broti is shocked by Dylan’s curiosity around the provenance of Ring Around the Rosie
* Broti is defiant in her continued teaching of disturbing songs to children
* Broti’s follow up question corner
	+ “Bitch what’d you think?”
	+ “Bitch how did you not know?”
	+ “Bitch use your brain”
	+ And finally, “You deserve to die, you stupid bitch”
* Dylan refuses to believe the Plague Doctor costume is associated with Italian Theatrical Comedy, the precursor to Meet the Parents
	+ Dylan is reminded of Italian standup Greg Giraldo
	+ Broti is of course reminded of the amazing Italian comedic actor Robert De Niro
* The Plague Doctor as sketch character
	+ Dylan suggests the Target Lady
	+ Broti suggests Debbie Downer (who was not played by Kristin Wiig)
* Broti refused to research The Carnival of Venice, obviously a carnival in Venice
* Broti invites challenges to her topic, a first for the pod
	+ Dylan would rather that energy be redirected into solving the mystery of Linda’s letter
* Dylan finally reveals it is Beak Week on the pod
	+ Broti’s alt is “it’s Beaky Briday” which Dylan feels is terrible

### Dylan's Segment

* Dylan’s topic is Carrier Pigeons
	+ Dylan admits up top that she does not understand the “how” behind the most commonly known thing about carrier pigeons (how do they know where to go)
	+ Dylan has a list of theories but they are mostly just a badly drawn frog, according to Broti
	+ Dylan thinks it more resembles a pig
* Dylan reveals that the typical English Carrier is a big ass pigeon (18½ inches tall)
	+ Broti doesn’t know what else she was expecting, but offers a real hot penguin take
* Dylan then casually reveals that her topic is actually Homing Pigeons, since Carrier Pigeons are no longer around
* Broti questions how people understood pigeon flight length and speed, a question not satisfyingly answered, but this leads to a fun bit about themes
	+ The second episode was Greek week and now it’s beak week (Dylan’s response to this is a genuine “OH NO”)
	+ Dylan decides next week will be Freak Week, Broti agrees
	+ This incident reminds Dylan of when she and Broti were not speaking then said “Ban Bossy” at the exact same time, a time when they both should have died
	+ Broti reveals that if they were to Freaky Friday, they would simply not realize it
* Dylan teases pigeon racing early in her segment
* B&D ponder how stupid a species we are
* Broti imagines a carrier pigeon traveling by train instead of flying, an objectively funny bit
* Broti pictures a parrot-pigeon team-up
	+ Dylan sees the result of this being a flight of 1000 miles while singing “If I Were a Boy”
* B&D have a nice detour into Balloon Boy reminiscing
	+ They quickly reveal they do not actually remember the important details of the Balloon Boy hoax, including where he was
* Dylan ponders that the heroic pigeon Cher Ami had no idea she was doing anything brave
	+ Broti blames the patriarchy, but refuses to provide any additional detail when asked
* B&D struggle to understand how important pigeons with jobs were kept track of, just seconds after Dylan mentioned there were photographs of most of them
* Broti’s slogan for birds: “Birds, the original drones” is met with little enthusiasm from Dylan
* Dylan finally broaches the topic of pigeon racing after teasing it earlier
	+ Dylan’s description of pigeon racing, which has waned in popularity, is mostly grim
	+ Broti nods and soberly agrees with all of Dylan’s pigeon racing facts
	+ Dylan ponders the sexual maturity of animals, which should wait until their 18th birthday
	+ After Dylan describes a practice called “widowhood”, Broti wonders if she  can apply the same training method to Greg
	+ Dylan claims there is a doping problem in the sport that she admitted earlier is incredibly unpopular
* B&D agree that perhaps pigeons have earned a chance to party
* Dylan admits that, as promised, she does not understand the homing pigeon process
* Broti wonders if Trump is receiving pigeon performance enhancing drugs as treatment for COVID-19
* Broti reveals that she grew up thinking that Regis Philbin was the most famous person in the world, and the runner-up was Rosie O’Donnell
* Dylan’s Homing Pigeon Theory Corner
	+ The beaks acts like a compass, an item that apparently only men understand
		- Broti both agrees and disagrees, mentioning Kerem for the first time
		- Dylan runs her “men are interested in north and south” stand-up bit by Broti, before revealing she is dating a pigeon
		- Dylan then mentions beak ions and magnetism, proving she actually does understand something about compasses, but quickly dismisses this theory as untrue
	+ “Odors, they can smell shit”
	+ “Light in their eyes”
	+ Possibly they look for familiar landmarks, like people do
* B&D wonder if other birds could be used for homing
* Dylan does an amazing job of circling how homing pigeons work numerous times but interjects her own doubt each and every time, a great example of why this pod (and Dylan in general) is so funny
* B&D brag about their ability to remember hundreds of images for several years
* Broti teases their new show “Are You Smarter Than This Pigeon?” which sounds like a show where B&D identify art that has been flipped upside-down
* Broti also promises a live episode that involves hanging out with Oprah, Grant, Linda, and a pigeon
* B&D end the pod with more Trump talk
	+ Dylan admits him being diagnosed with COVID-19 was one of the most fun nights of her life
	+ Broti agrees and compares it to a [unitelligible] Christmas, or perhaps “the promise of Christmas”
* Dylan announces they are at a clean 45, ending Beak Week and promising Freak Week to follow
	+ Some future week suggestions are floated - Leek (or maybe Leak) Week or Weak Week
	+ A Linda-letter Patreon tier is teased

## Topics

### Dylan's Topic

* Carrier Pigeons (actually Homing Pigeons)