Marathon

Marathon is the oft-discussed Good Dudes band and was initially created one afternoon in Perkins after a night of hard boozing at the Dickhouse, as a get-rich scheme for the Good Dudes. There are many specific aspects that make up Marathon, and all are critical:

* Marathon would exclusively play the heaviest metal, music so thick and inaccessible that listening to it would be a *job*. In addition, shows would be hours and hours of the music, with no real breaks between the songs - they'd lead into one another seamlessly with no downtime. This was how the name of the band was born: attending a show and listening would truly be a marathon. Also, it must be mentioned, that joining and being a full member of the band requires no musical skill or knowledge as all the music is entirely improvised. Slap some black paint on your face, put on a guitar and just start smashing away. Each "song" would be entirely impossible to replicate but the sound would be so loud, so thick, and so unmusical that the audience wouldn't be able to tell you weren't playing "Track 4 on Album 2" note-for-note. Insane consistency of noise is critical and a multitude of band members, 5 guitarists for this reason, to create that thick, layered sound.
* Members of Marathon would dress *strictly* in all black, with black hair and faces painted totally black. This would not only make them challenging to see in general, but it would be difficult to tell the members apart. Furthermore, at many points during shows the members would switch instruments. It would be virtually impossible to tell who was who and therefore anybody could play any instrument at any time.
* Members of the band would wear backpacks as they played. The backpacks would have large, upward-facing exhaust pipes that spewed heavy black smoke into the air/crowd. The smoke would be generated by coal regularly shoveled into the backpacks by dwarf stagehands that would follow the members around. The dwarves would also dress purely in black.
* It was later decided that the smoke would contain hallucinogenic drugs such as LSD, which would blanket the crowd and fuck em right up. The goal, of course, is to generate great fear in the crowd.
* During all press conferences and official interviews, all 44 band members must remain completely still and only one member of the band, chosen at random before each event, will answer each question in a deadpan, with the same response each time, "Satan". It is highly important that the silent majority try to be as menacing as possible during these interviews. The metal community loves that. As an example:

> *"Marathon, your latest album,* Marathon IV, *has hit the charts and is off to a blazing start. The metal community loves your consistency. Unlike other bands, like Metallica, that have evolved as musicians over the years, you guys keep managing to pump out the same grim, dense, and layered sound. How do you do it, year after year?"*
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> "Satan."
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Marathon came to life during the days of Rock Band, a game that offered the opportunity to create your own band. Many iterations of Marathon were created across the various versions of Rock Band games; as high as Marathon VII may have been reached. Various Dudes were created to be the members of Marathon, dressed all in black. They were white dudes with black faces; while culturally insensitive, it was accurate to the band's vision. Granmo also made a guest appearance at one point, an old lady dressed all in black with a black face. Other members include guitarist/bassist Smix, a mainstay.

A passing reference to Marathon that lives on to this day is in NHL, where Chris had created a BFF hockey team and was also given the opportunity to design their arena, the Friend Zone™. During the design phase, the Dome was around and offered the following suggestion: in the Friend Zone™, when the BFFs score, pipes blast black smoke into the air, in homage to our everlasting band. Like Bane, it was gratefully accepted.