Cold Ramen: S01E16

Life after Death: The Bullo Story is the sixteenth episode of Cold Ramen. The episode is about Bullo being transported to the Sex Colony after dying by Cocko.

## The Episode

*WELCOME TO THE SUPPORT BOX MEMORIAL SPECIAL, THE SHOW WHERE WE TALK ABOUT SUPPORT BOX AND THE PEOPLE WHO TOUCHED OUR LIVES ON THE SHOW...WHO ARE NO LONGER WITH US. WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO MARK THE PASSING OF ONE OF GODS BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, BULLO!*

**QUESTION BOX STOP TEARING UP AND LIGHT MY CIGAR!**

(support box and question box are recording in a graveyard. question box lights support box's cigar and the host takes a puff)

**REST IN PISS, WONT BE MISSED!**

*BOSS, DID WE REALLY HAVE TO FILM IN THE GRAVEYARD?*

**YES WE DID! HOW ELSE COULD I DANCE ON HIS GRAVE ON LIVE TELEVISION!**

(support box floats around bullo's grave)

**WHY ARE YOU SO SAD ANYWAY? HE WAS A CREEP!**

*i kinda liked him, he was funny! plus, he helped you break out of jail and clear your name!*

**HE ALSO REVERSE RAPED A LOT OF PEOPLE! AND GAVE THEM HIS NASTY TOILET WINE! I BET YOU STILL LIKE BILL COSBY TOO YOU STUPID QUESTION CRACKFUCKER!!!**

*NO WAY, I HATE BILL COSBY! I HAD A DREAM WHERE HE DRAGGED ME INTO HIS TRAILER! THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING BULLO DID GOOD FOR YOU!*

**WELL....HE DIED! HAHAHA I HOPE HELL IS HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!**

(somewhere else, bullo wakes up in the sex colony throne room. cocko sits on his throne)

Bullo, Bullo, Bullo. It's an honor to finally meet!

do i know you boo♥

No, but I know you! Bullo, the infamous power bottom of Earth! I've been watching your escapades since the day you had that bull fuck you in the ass! Oh, how I have been watching you...

(cocko motions his hand to his crotch)

the only time i got caught on camera was when i snuck into that petting zoo, were you in that crowd as well♥

Like I said, I have been watching you for a while, Bullo. It's part of my whole thing as Sex Lord! I claimed your soul after you died so you can spend all eternity getting it on in the sex capital of Beta-Earth!

wow thank you so much boo, i think you deserve a present♥

(as cocko drops his pants, dicko enters the throne room)

And here we have my co-Sex Lord and lover Dicko! Babe, this is Bullo, the one I had you suck me off to?

Oh wow, nice to finally meet you!

(dicko sniffs the air)

What is that smell?

sorry honey, i didnt get to shower too well back in jail♥

I'll have my people get you cleaned up, then I'll show you around the Sex Colony!

...

(cocko leads a cleaned up bullo around the commons)

This is where most of the sexists hang out. Imagine having people obsess over you, adore you, do ANYTHING for you! That's what it's like being me. Seriously, I've had people say they would eat my ass like it was their last meal, word for word!

there was someone like that on earth, he was the best♥

Well, we have everything you'd need to fufill your fantasies! And speaking of fantasies, here we have Subbo and Dommo, performing some public entertainment for the people!

(a man wearing nothing but underwear is tied onto a table with his ass up, while a woman in dominatrix gear brandishes a massive paddle. a crowd watches expectantly)

Are you ready for your punishment, slave?!

OH YES MISTRESS I AM READY FOR THIS I AM SO READY I HAVE BEEN A BAD BOY

(dommo winds the paddle back and slams it down on subbos rear over and over)

AAH SHIT AAH COCKO OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO GOOD!

(the people clap and cheer)

Yeah, they get really kinky in bed! Not as kinky as yours truly though!

(cocko and bullo leave the commons and see another man exiting a bar with a woman)

That's Cucko and his wife. He likes to watch, if you get my meaning.

Wow, honey! 22 johns in a single sitting, a new personal best! How do you feel?

My knees hurt and my throat's sore...

Don't worry, we'll get you some new kneepads and lozenges! Boy, I can't wait to go home and watch my wife get her asshole torn up by men who aren't me!

Cucko, I'd like to introduce you to Bullo, the latest member of the colony!

(cucko gets on his knees in front of cocko, overjoyed)

Cocko, you answered my prayers! You have brought to me a literal bull to have sex with my wife! Isn't this great, honey?

C-cucko I don't think he can fit inside of m--

Ohhhhh my Rod here we go again! Not everything is about you, Amanda!

(as cucko walks away with his wife right behind him, bullo turns to cucko)

aw sugar, i hope he knows that bullo dont swing that way♥

Wow, really smooth, Cocko!

(a man wear glasses walks over to cocko and bullo)

Inviting yet another BIGOT into the colony! How are we going to become a more diverse and inclusive colony now?

...And here we have Simpo, AKA pussy repellent.

Pussy and penis repellent! Anyone is welcome to have sex with me! And speaking of welcoming, I wanted to talk to you about our refugees policy!

If they can shake their wartorn ass, they're welcome to stay. If not, that clock fucker Clocko will probably take them.

(as they talk, Chasto passes by. Simpo immediately notices her and gets on one knee in front of her)

Dear lady Chasto! I was just talking to Cocko about being more progressive and politically correct, as I overheard you mentioning! I hope this news pleases you!

You're embarassing yourself, Simpo.

Chasto, what're you doing out here? I'd give you some Cocko-rocko, but I'm busy giving Bullo here a tour.

Charming, Cocko. You're bringing an animal into your bedchambers. This will be very interesting to hear about in the morning.

(chasto walks away, simpo following her)

Good one, my lady! That was a stinging remark you just dealt to him!

wow is she always a stuck up bitch♥

Most of the time. She's just extra bitchy because I FUCKED HER IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COLONY! TAKE THAT, JUST LIKE YOU TOOK THIS DICK!

(chasto loudly huffs in disdain)

Yeah, I'm top dog around here, and you're gonna see that during tonight's welcoming orgy in your honor! But before that, how about a bite to eat? I've got some cooked dildos that'll blow YOUR mind!

...

(later that night, cocko and the other gods are inside a large room. there is a massive matress at the center of the room, sex equipment and drawers full of toys all around the outside)

Alright guys, welcome to the biweekly orgy! Before we get to the sucking and fucking, I'd like to introduce a new dick into the fold! Let's give a warm welcome to Bullo! Why don't you tell us about your fetishes?

(everyone claps)

thanks for welcoming me here people, i cant wait to get naughty with you♥

i'm a particular kinda bull, i like my men dark♥

(everyone oohs and ahhs)

i also like my men small and limbless♥

(everyone oohs and ahhs even more)

You're into that human chicken nugget stuff?

no no boo, its support box♥

hes got a sexy voice and a lot of charisma, its enough to make a bull wanna act up♥

Support Box? The talk show host? Interesting choice, but if that's what you're into, that's what we'll do! Every sex toy and device in existence is in this room, how do you wanna set up?

(after a few minutes, the scene is set. the room now looks like the set of support box. everyone except dicko is dressed up like support box and wearing support box masks. dicko is dressed like question box. she reads from a card)

Welcome to Support Box, the show where we talk about Support Box! How're you doing, Support Box?

(subbo checks his card)

I'm not Suppot Box, you fuckass! I'm actually Earl, you guys!

(subbo takes his clothes off and quickly runs off stage to grab a fat suit. he then returns)

(bullo paws the ground in prepapration offstage. cocko is on his back)

okay support box lets get you your show back♥

(with a loud battle cry, bullo charges forward and rams subbo so hard he flies into the wall, leaving a crater)

oh god oh jeez i cant feel my legs

(dommo runs over to him with a whip)

Sounds like someone needs to be punished!

dommo please not now no no no no AAAHHHH GOD NO PLEASE

(some of the other support boxes watch as dommo whips subbo. cocko gets off and reads his card)

WOW BULLO, YOU SAVED MY LIFE AND MY SHOW! I'M SO GLAD TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU ON MY SIDE!

thats what i do babe♥

how would you like to have me...in front of you♥

(bullo turns and exposes his ass to cocko. as cocko eagerly gets ready, he suddenly stops and recoils back. everyone begins to gag as well)

What the hell is that smell?!

It's my bussy juice baby♥

Why does bussy juice smell like shit? We gave you an enema, why is this happening?! Where the hell is Scato?! He'll be all over this!

Daddy Cocko, Scato wanted to swim in the septic tank tonight!

(cocko groans and closes his eyes)

Here we go. Up the crack and through the hole...

...

(the next day, cocko is taking a shower. he furiously scrubs his crotch, then raises it to his nose. as he coughs at the smell, the shower curtains open, dicko standing before cocko)

Daddy Cocko, we have a problem!

Dicko, can this wait? I'm still getting the smell out!

It can't! It's Bullo, he's creating all kinds of fusses!

(cocko sighs, turns off the water and quickly changes. soon, he's outside walking with dicko)

He's spent all morning looking for people to screw him up the butt! He's been chasing people around and having sex in the alleys! One guy had his legs broken after Bullo tried to do the cowgirl position! And not to mention, he's been feeding people this nasty stuff he calls toilet wine!

(the gods shudder as they walk. cucko notices them while sitting at a bench and charges over)

COCKO YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! THAT BULL YOU INVITED DOESNT WANT TO DEFILE MY WIFE WHILE I WATCH! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS PERSECUTION?! I'LL NEVER GET TO SEE MY WIFE, THE GLISTENING APPLE OF MY EYE, GET HER BACK BLOWN OUT BY THAT STRAPPING FARM ANIMAL! AND NOW SHES TALKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH ME OF ALL PEOPLE!

(cocko puts a hand to his head)

Oh my god, I created a monster. I saved a rapist from hell and gave him an all-you-can-fuck buffet. Am I the...bad guy?

(cocko ponders his epithiany for a few seconds before shrugging)

Ah, I don't care! What's important is that this fucker is shaking things up too much! And like a chatty prostitute, he needs to get his ass out of here! Now where is our guest?

here baby i made us some wine, its an aphrodisiac you know♥

Thanks Bullo, I-- \*PFFFFF\* BULLO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST GIVE ME IVE EATEN ASSES TASTIER THAN THAT!!

(cocko and dicko follow the voices until they find bullo in an alley, pinning another man dressed like support box to the wall)

Bullo, put the man down! We need to talk.

i can mulitask cocko♥

Things were good at first, but now you're acting like an animal!

exactly baby, because i am an animal♥

(dicko shakes her head)

But now you're messing things up and people are complaining!

no one was complaining when they were running a train on me last night♥

As hot and tight as that ass was, you can't go around harassing everyone!

last time i checked, no ones the boss of me boo♥

Actually, I am! And as Sex Lord, I think the best way to fix you up is some time in the dungeon! The sex dungeon!

(pink energy tendrils spread from cocko's body towards bullo, but his body absorbs them and begins to glow pink. cocko's jaw drops)

oooooooooooooooh baby whats happening now♥

(a tendril extends from bullos body and enters the man he was with)

BULLO, THIS TOILET WINE IS DELICIOUS AND ITS GETTING ME IN THE MOOD FOR SOME POO HOLE PLUGGIN!

Ah, shit. Dicko we need to go NOW!

(cocko and dicko run away as two more tendrils grow from bullo and inch towards them)

...

(cocko is back in the orgy room with the other sex gods

Alright, people, we are in DEFCUM 3 right now! Somehow, no fault on my part, Bullo is resistant to lust control! And he just lust controlled someone with zero training! You guys are my war council, so let's get to the bottom of this!

(simpo closes a book he was reading)

Cocko, our powers are fueled by our raw emotions. The more you feel, the stronger you are. To not only resist lust control, but be able to do it yourself, you'd need just the right catalyst.

And Bullo just happens to be obsessed with Support Box.

He's also filled with testosterone. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Which isn't good for us because Support Box doesn't exist here.

So what now? We just gotta cope with him power bottoming every sexist in the colony?

According to my calculations, his power won't stop. His tendrils will multiply until everyone in the colony is under his control and in on his fantasy! And then, all of Beta Earth!

As much fun as it would be seeing Clocko have sex with Bullo, we can't have that. Cucko, what's our play here?

Well...we could offer him my wife!

Cucko, he's gay.

This day can't get any worse!

Dommo, Subbo, please tell me there's some way to get rid of this bull!

(dommo is beating subbos ass with a sex colony book)

OW OW OH GOD DOMMO NOW ISNT THE TIME PLEASE STOP BEATING ME WITH THAT THICK BOOK

(cocko sighs)

Note: don't invite everyone to the war council.

(chasto clears her throat)

I believe I have a way to not only stop Bullo from controlling all of us, but to also send him back to Earth. If enough lust is drained from a sexist, they can be reverted to their base form and evicted from the Sex Colony, back to where they originated from.

Uh...break it down for me?

Present Bullo with what turns him off the most and he'll be sapped of his energy.

And what might that be? Only one way to find out! We gotta watch all the sexy footage I have of him! Who wants popcorn?

...

(later, a vagina shaped portal opens up in a sex colony alleyway. cocko and the other gods step out. there are pink energy tendrils spread out everywhere, all of them attached to people. a long line of sexists dressed like support box leads to the commons)

Are you sure this will work, Cocko?

Of course it will, Chasto! And if it doesn't, wouldn't be the first time I fucked you over!

(chasto rolls her eyes as the gods creep around, being sure to avoid the tendrils. finally, they made it to the commons, where bullo lays on the ground. lust controlled sexists fan him and feed him grapes)

alright boos, im feeling ready for support box #53♥

Bullo, your sexcapades end here!

i don't think so boo♥

(the tendrils start flowing towards them, just as they're about to enter the sex lords, they all put on masks of)

EWWWWWWW LARRY KING

(the tendril stop in their tracks and begin to return to bullo)

That's right, Bullo! We're all Larry King! And you hate Larry King, right?

larry king and that crusty dick is a no no for bullo!!

(the sex colonists regain control of themselves. bullos new powers begin to fade as then gods advance on him in their costumes. cocko takes off his mask)

Gotcha, you stupid bull! Now to send your ass back to Fronku City, make you someone else's problem!

(the gods extend their hands to Bullo and zap him with energy. his body slowly fades away until it is gone. the sex colonists surround their gods, applauding for them)

Alright, lesson learned. Never bring a degenerate into the colony...unless they're screened first. You guys think that pillow fucker Earl would be any fun?

...

(back on earth, support box is in his trailer watching the news while on the phone)

In some surprising news, we have a story from the Fronku City graveyards! A grave was exhumaned sometime last night, its contents nowhere to be found. Accordingn to DNA on the scene, the missing body was that of the infamous power bottom Bullo.

WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT, HUH QUESTION BOCKS? THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS PEDALING LIES AGAIN!

*i dunno boss, that footage of his open casket seems pretty real to me...*

(suddenly, his trailer is rocked by something...or someone)

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! ARE WE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE?!

hey boo♥

guess whos back from the dead♥

oh no...OH GOD NO HOW IS HE BACK FROM THE DEAD?!

*BULLO! SEE BOSS, NO ONE'S EVER TRULY GONE! WE GOTTA GET THE SCOOP ON HIM BEFORE THE COPS TRY TO TAKE HIM BACK! IM ON MY WAY WITH THE CAMERA TEAM*

QUESTION BOX DO NOT GET THE CAMERA TEAM BRING THE SWAT TEAM BRING THE MARINES BRING SOMEONE WHO CAN FILL THIS FUCKERS SKULL WITH LEAD

(the door to the trailer is knocked off its hinges as bullo charges in. he locks eyes with support box and licks his lips)

finally some alone time with my support box♥

NO GET BACK BULLO!! I SAID GET BACK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!