322: Liar's Dice

## Summary

The bits in Batthwack's rabbit stew spell out "They're coming" and Will has a minor freak-out since it's now undeniable that something very weird is going on. Batthwack and Captain Clockface brave the wild weather to do a perimeter check of the inn and find nothing out of the ordinary, so with little else to do but stay vigilant and wait out the storm, the party agree to a game of dice with Sin. For a little while it's a decent distraction, that is, until Will and Raphina's dice ominously spell out "THEYRE HERE".

## Synopsis

Batthwack is idly stirring his soup when he suddenly notices that the pieces of meat in it have formed the words *"They're coming."* He shows it to Will and Raphina. Will thinks this is a practical joke at first, but realises Batthwack's serious. Who's doing this? Is it dark powers? Is there something in the storm that's coming? From the room upstairs, Rosco is already watching intently out the window, still rattled by his similar experience.

Will fails at not panicking, and the mother decides it's probably a good time to take her two girls up to their room. Will casts *Detect Thoughts* to determine that they're a little weirded out by what's going on, but also that the presence of "King Batthwack" is reassuring to them. Will can't help but prank Batthwack by telling him that the kids are scared of him and the joke goes right over the dragonborn's head. He wanted to check outside anyway, and he doesn't want to upset the kids, so he gets up, collects his shield and heads outside. Captain Clockface follows him. Sin jokes that he was hoping to win some more money off of them this evening, but with everyone going away, he's not sure he'll get a chance. Batthwack circles round the back of the inn, taking in the stables where he hears a brief, faltering whinny, but the wind and rain make it impossible to really see anything else. From upstairs, Rosco spots him as he makes he way past the back of the inn. Batthwack checks inside the barn, finding two horses comfortably tethered up.

Batthwack and Clockface come back in, completely drenched from the rain. Ogga gives them a threadbare towel to dry themselves with, saying she's closing up the bar for the night and perhaps it'd be wise to hunker down and not go outside again. Will tells Batthwack that he'd been joking earlier and Raphina wonders what they're supposed to do except wait. Will suggests that at the very least they should stay close from now on. Sin pipes up, again offering a game of dice, which Batthwack accepts.

Will sends Raphina to go fetch Rosco while he goes to the bar. He's ordering drinks when he subtly asks Ogga about the visitor from before who looked like Zol Berdia. He changes just his face to look like the depictions they've seen, making sure that no-one else can see what he's doing. Ogga is excited and flustered, thinking that Will must be Zol Berdia in disguise again. Will is able to find out that when "Zol Berdia" visited before, he'd been on his way back to Carnivar. *"That was your story anyway,"* she says. She sounds sightly bashful as she invites him back for a private drink later, and Will says yes before he's really thought what she actually has in mind.

Upstairs, Raphina rouses Rosco from his intense vigilance, inviting him down for the dice game. She also tells him about the message in Batthwack's stew, and although he's initially concerned, Raphina points out that it proves he's not going crazy and this actually makes Rosco feel much better. Rosco locks Pippa and Oscar safely in the guest room and as he descends the stairs, Sin cheers welcomingly, as does Mo.

Rosco offers to keep watch out of the window, while Sin outlines the rules of *Liar's Dice*. Rosco, Will and Sheemie have all played before. The rules are as follows: Each player has 5 six-sided dice and a cup. Everyone rolls their dice under the cup and secretly has a look at what they've rolled. The starting player then states a prediction about the minimum quantity of any face value that could be showing on all the players' dice combined, e.g. "3 ones". The next player makes a new prediction by increasing the quantity or face value (or both) of the previous bid, e.g. "5 ones" or "2 threes". At any point, instead of upping the bid, a player may dramatically challenge the previous bidder by calling "liar!" If that happens, all players reveal their dice to see if there are sufficient dice to meet the current bid. If there are, the challenger loses and one of their dice are discarded from the game. If the number of dice falls short of the bid, the bidder loses and one of their dice are discarded. Play continues and the last player with any dice is the winner.

They discuss what the wager should be. Rosco puts a handful of 62gp on the table for the party to use. Raphina suggests they all put 1cp in (before proudly laying down a gold piece). Will passes the money to Mo, who excitedly places down a platinum piece. Sin's eyes light up and he confidently agrees to put in 1pp too. Batthwack's happy with that, since Will is contractually obliged to meet 3/4 of his expenses. There's 7 of them playing altogether, so Rosco covers the party's 6 pots and Sin puts in 10gp of his own.

Sin spins a knife which finishes pointing at Rosco, so he starts with a bid of 5 ones. Batthwack's next and he bids 4 fives. Will bids 6 fives. Raphina goes to 7 fives. Mo bets 1 six, Sheemie 6 sixes and Sin goes up to 7 sixes. Play comes back to Rosco, who's looking out the window and without even looking over calls *"Liar!"* Revealing the dice, there's at least 7 sixes, so Rosco's challenge has failed and he discards a die.

Round two! They roll their dice and Batthwack starts with a bid of 5 twos. Will bids 6 twos. Raphina, 3 threes. Mo, 4 fives and Sheemie, 6 fives. Sin slowly and melodically says *"7 fives."* Will is convinced Sin is cheating. Play comes back round to Rosco, who's still looking out the window and again just calls out *"Liar!"* This time there are at least 8 fives revealed, so Rosco loses again and summarily tosses another die away.

Round three! Dice are rolled again and Will starts, bidding 4 twos. Raphina bids 5 twos. Mo, 4 threes. Sheemie, 5 threes. Sin bets 5 fours and Rosco, 7 fours. Batthwack ups the bid to 6 sixes and Will follows with 7 sixes. Raphina pauses. *"I have to go up!"* she says. *"Or call me a liar..."* replies Will, feigning incredulity. Raphina only has to think about this for a second before crying *"Liar!"* They start showing their dice one by one and by the time it gets to Will, only 3 sixes have been revealed and he's only got 1. He's tempted to cheat with some magic, but decides it's too early in the game for that. In the end only 4 sixes are revealed. *"Oh! The first liar of the game!"* cries Sin happily as Will discards a die.

Round four! Everyone rolls again. Will checks his dice and freezes. He gets up and goes to the window. It's raining even harder and it's pretty dark. He can't see anything. He returns to the table and shouts *"What kind of trick dice are these?"* and when he reveals them, the faces have letters that spell out the word "HERE." Raphina lifts her cup and she now somehow has 6 dice, which spell the word "THEYRE". Rosco checks the dice he discarded in the corner... one them is an apostrophe.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title refers to the game of dice that the party play with Sin; a sister-episode title to 321: Hide and Seek.
* The *Comedy The Gathering* "IRS" (i.e. *"cum of mushroom soup"*) sketch referenced in this episode... Featuring our very own Adam! https://youtu.be/i87BrDg0VkQ
* Humans can't feel wet! https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141001133416.htm
* Raphina asks for a "gassy water", which Eric says is a reference to Morrow's Inlet. At a restaurant there, the party were offered still or sparkling water, and Dew in particular was really confused by the concept of water with bubbles in it. See episode 199: Will, You So Rarely Lie To Me
* The *Liar's Dice* scene from *Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest* (2006): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yUkTpzXQZc
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: strong.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 321: Hide and Seek
2. ↑ See episode 320: Me Did Not Write That
3. ↑ See episode 255: Have You Ever Played, Uh, Hopscotch?
4. ↑ Rosco is absolutely minted since his encounter with the Aeonian Anglerfish. See episode 300: Clearly Not, Based on This 2-Hour Conversation
5. ↑ Will rolled a natural 1 for Insight.