The Mad Tea Party (Olivia version 2)

After walking through the woods, Olivia had finally found a house which she believes could be the Warthog Hatter and the March Meerkat's house.

"How very curious!" Olivia cried.

She walked to the gate that was the side of the house to see who could be singing. She saw that there was a long table, with a pink tablecloth and many and many teapots and cups and many more things. Sitting around the table were two animals that seem happy.

They were Pumbaa (a crimson warthog with a long tail, a black mane, white tusks, four slender legs, black hooves, and a large pink snout) and Timon (a beige meerkat with a peach underbelly and palms, brown fingers, brown ears, wide bulging eyes, and red hair), and right now, they were singing a song, while steam was coming out of the teapots, playing along with the song.

Timon: *To us*
*A very know what day today is tea forget of us*

Pumbaa: *A very merry unbirthday*

Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*

Pumbaa and Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*
*To uuuuuussss*

As a solo was taking place, Olivia looked from behind the chair and saw the teapots dancing around. She tried to look at the guests of the party, but the steam was in the way. So she looked down through the teapots.

Timon: *Aaaaa*
*Very merry unbirthday*
*To me*

Pumbaa: *To who?*

Timon: *To me!*

Pumbaa: *Oh, you!*

Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*
*To you*

Pumbaa: *Who me?*

Timon: *Yes, you!*

Pumbaa: *Oh, me!*

Timon: *Let's all congratulate us*
*With another cup of tea*
*A very merry unbirthday*
*Toooooooooooooooooooooooo*
*Yooooooouuuuuuuu*

When the song was over, Olivia applauded. Pumbaa and Timon noticed that Olivia was there. They sprang from their chairs and jumped from chair to chair over to her, saying, "No room, no room, no room!"

Olivia sat down on a chair in confusion and protested, "But I thought there was plenty of room."

"Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited!" Timon said.

Pumbaa said in agreement, "I say it's rude! It's very, very rude indeed. Hah!"

A very small and slender Cajun one with holes on his wings, red hair, very few teeth, and a Southern accent mixed with a French accent named Ray peeked out of a teapot and repeated in a sleepy voice, "Very, very, very rude indeed..."

Olivia figures that they had a point, so she apologized, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I did enjoy your singing and I wondered if you could tell me..."

Timon jumped on the arm of the chair Wendy was sitting on and said, "You enjoyed our singing?"

"Oh, what a delightful child!" Pumbaa said. "Hah! I'm so excited, we never get compliments! You must have a cup of tea."

"Ah, yes indeed!" Timon agreed. "You must have a cup of tea!"

"That would be very nice. And I'm sorry that I interrupted your birthday party." Olivia said, as Timon gave her the tea. "Thank you."

Timon then grabbed the tea back and said, "Birthday? Ha, ha, ha! My dear child, this is not a birthday party."

Then Pumbaa picked up a teapot and poured tea, as he said, "Of course not. He-he-he. This is an unbirthday party."

"Unbirthday?" Olivia said in confusion. "Why, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand."

"It's very simple," Timon explained. "See, thirty days have Sept-no, when..." Timon scratched his head. "An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you..." Then he laughed how hard it is to explain. "She doesn't know what an unbirthday is!"

Pumbaa replied, "How silly... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... Ah-hum..." He coughed a little and used a tea pot to spray some steam to clear his throat. "I shall elucidate!"

Timon used a spoon as a baton to conduct the tea pots into music.

Pumbaa: *Now statistics prove*
*Prove that you've*
*One birthday*

Timon: *Imagine*
*Just one birthday every year*

Pumbaa: *Ahhh*
*But there are over 364*
*Unbirthdays*

Timon: *Precisely*
*Why we're gathered here*
*To cheer*

And, since today wasn't Olivia's birthday, Olivia got up and said, "Well, then today is my unbirthday too."

"It is?" said Timon, looking surprised.

"What a small world this is." Pumbaa commented.

"In that case..." Timon said, before he and Pumbaa jumped out of their seats and started to dance around Olivia.

Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*

Olivia: *To me?*

Pumbaa: *To you*

He moves aside to present a big pink cake trim in white with a burning candle on top.

Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*

Olivia: *For me?*

Pumbaa: *For you*

Pumbaa gives Olivia the cake.

Pumbaa: *Now blow out the candle out, my dear*
*And make your wish come true*

He picks some icing up with his hoof and licked it off, with a laugh.

Olivia blew the candle out, and it started to flare like a fuse. In fact, to Olivia's surprise, the cake launched to the sky like a skyrocket.

Pumbaa and Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*
*To*
*You*

The cake exploded with many pretty colors like fireworks, much to Olivia's delight. Out of the smoke, descended Ray with a tiny umbrella tied on him.

Ray: *Twinkle, twinkle little bat*
*How I wonder where you're at*
*Up above the world you fly*
*Like a tea tray in the sky*

Ray landed in a tea pot and Timon closed the pot.

Olivia clapped and said, "Oh, that was lovely!"

Pumbaa dipped his saucer in a teacup and said, "And uh, now my dear, he-he, uh...you were saying that you would like to sit, uh...? Pardon me."

He then took a bite of the saucer. And he continued. "You were seeking some information of some kind...he-he!"

Timon gave Olivia a cup of tea, as Olivia accepted it and said, "Oh yes. You see, I'm looking for a..."

Pumbaa then called out, "Clean cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!" as he threw his cups in the air as did Timon.

Timon grabbed Olivia by the hand and made her stand up and follow.

Olivia said in confusion, "But I haven't used my cup!"

Timon: *Clean cup, clean cup*
*Move down, move down*
*Clean cup, clean cup*
*Move down*

Pumbaa picked up a teapot with three spouts on each level of the height.

As he poured tea in three cups, he asked Olivia, "Would you like a little more tea?"

Olivia tried to get some tea out of a teapot that has no spout, as she explains, "Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more..."

Timon took the teapot, cracked the teapot, and poured tea in Olivia's cup.

"Ahhh, you mean you can't very well take less!" Timon corrected her.

Pumbaa scooped a spoon full of sugar and poured it into Olivia's cup, then poured all the whole sugar pot in the cup, too much, in fact, that it overflowed.

"Yes! You can always take more than nothing!" Pumbaa agreed.

Olivia took the cup and said, "But I only meant that..."

She was about to sip it, but the sugar was not allowing her to.

Pumbaa held four cups of full tea, and tossed a teapot after filling the fourth one on top.

"And now, my dear, something seems to be troubling you," he said, as he took a sip of the teacup at the bottom. "Uh, won't you tell us all about it?"

"Start at the beginning." Timon said.

"Yes, yes," Pumbaa agreed. "And when you come to the end, heh, heh, heh, heh, stop! See?"

"Well, it all started when I was sitting on the riverbank with Pooka," Olivia began.

"Very interesting," Timon said, as he drank some tea, but then slammed the tea down quick with an excited expression. "Who's Pooka?"

"Well, Pooka is my dog," Olivia explained. "You see..."

Right when Olivia said 'dog', Ray poked his head out of the teacup, as he shouted, "Dog?" and then started to go nuts in panic and started to fly around the table.

"Dog! Dog! Dog..." Ray was crying as everybody except Olivia went after Ray to calm him down. Pumbaa and Timon jumped and grabbed Ray by the wings.

Timon then said, "Hurry! Get the jam! Quickly! Get the jam!"

Olivia didn't need a second invite and went for the jam.

"On his face, on his face!" Pumbaa instructed her, as Olivia scooped some jam up with a knife and smothered it on Ray's face, making him calm down, even as he said, "Where's the dog?"

Pumbaa sighed in relief and said, "Oh. Oh, my goodness! Those are the things that upset me!"

Timon poured some tea and stops the pouring by plugging the flow with his tail, as he said, "See all the trouble you've started?"

Olivia received the cup and said, "But, really, I didn't think..."

"Ah, but that's the point," Timon said. "If you don't think, you shouldn't talk!"

Olivia was about to drink her tea, when Pumbaa shouted, "Clean cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!"

"But I still haven't used..." Olivia began to protest, as they moved down.

Timon: *Move down, move down, move down*

"And now, my dear, as you were saying?" Pumbaa asked.

"Oh, yes," Olivia said. "I was sitting on the riverbank with, uh..." She whispered into Pumbaa's ear, "With you-know-who."

Pumbaa said in excitement, "I do? Heh, heh, heh, heh..."

"I mean my D...O...G..."

Pumbaa then pulled out a teapot and said, "Gee? You mean tea!"

Timon then cut a cup in half with a knife and said, "Just half a cup, if you don't mind." Pumbaa poured Timon some tea into the half cup.

"Come, come my dear," Pumbaa said, with a laugh. "Don't you care for tea?"

"Why, yes," Olivia began, "I'm very fond of tea, but..."

"If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!" Timon said.

"Well, I've been trying to ask you..." Olivia began.

"I have an excellent idea," Timon said, putting a forest green top hat with a lime green ribbon on Pumbaa's head. "Let's change the subject!"

He then bonked Pumbaa's hat onto his head with a mallet.

Pumbaa popped the top of his hat half off and asked, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Olivia then said in confusion, "Riddles? Let me see now. Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Pumbaa then said, "I beg your pardon?"

"Poe writes on both!" Olivia answered.

Pumbaa then said in panic, "Poe writes on what?"

Timon jumped on Pumbaa and said, "Careful! She's stark raving mad!"

Olivia got up and said, "But-but it's your silly riddle! You just said..."

Pumbaa and Timon backed away from Wendy.

"Very good?" asked Pumbaa, as he tried to use a chair to defend himself.

Timon nervously held out a cup of tea, saying, "How about a nice cup of tea?"

Olivia then yelled in frustration, "Have a cup of tea, indeed! Well, I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time!"

Timon then shouted out, "The time! The time! Who's got the time?"

Then, Dijon came in, saying in panic, "No, no, no, no! No time, no time, no time! Hello, good-bye! I'm late! I'm late!"

Olivia was surprised that the humanoid dog actually came to this mad tea party, as Olivia said, "The Arabic dog!"

Dijon took out his watch and said, "Oh, I'm so late! I'm so very, very late!"

Then, Pumbaa yanked the watch out of the humanoid dog's pocket, also, yanking the dog's neck.

"Well, no wonder you're late," Pumbaa said, as he examined the watch. "Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!"

"Two days slows?" asked Dijon.

"Of course you're late!" Pumbaa said, as he dipped the watch in a teapot then slammed it on the table, removing the face of the watch and laughed, as he said, "My goodness. We'll have to look into this." Pumbaa placed a saltshaker in his eye and looked down at the watch, making salt pour all over the watch. "Aha!" Pumbaa said. "I see what's wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!"

He then started digging out all the gears and springs with a fork. The humanoid dog couldn't believe what was happening. As if his house being burnt wasn't bad enough.

"Oh, my poor watch! Oh, my wheels! My springs!" Dijon yelled, as he grabbed some springs and wheels as one spring got caught on his nose, before he stuttered, "But-but-but-but, but-but-but..."

"Butter," Pumbaa said. "Of course, we need some butter! Butter!"

"Butter!" Timon yelled into Dijon's ear.

"But-But-Butter?" Timon said, as he spotted a tray of butter and picked it up.

Pumbaa took the butter from the humanoid dog and said, "Butter, oh, thank you, butter. Ha-ha. Yes, that's fine."

He then started to spread butter all over the clock's face.

Dijon then yelled in panic, "Oh-no-no, no-no-no, you'll get crumbs in it!"

"Oh, this is the very best butter," Pumbaa said, as he slammed the butter in the humanoid dog's face. "What are you talking about?"

Timon then said, "Tea?"

"Tea!" Pumbaa said, as he poured tea on the watch. "Oh, I never thought of tea! Of course!"

"No!" said, as Pumbaa said, "Tea," and laughed, as the humanoid dog said, "No! Not tea!"

Timon blocked the humanoid dog's way with his foot and said, "Sugar?"

Pumbaa replied, "Sugar. Two spoons, yes, ha, two spoons. Thank you, yes."

He took two spoons and slammed them on the watch.

"Oh, please! Be careful!" Dijon said.

"Jam?" Timon asked, as he handed the jam to the humanoid dog.

Pumbaa took the jam from Timon and said, "Jam, I forgot all about jam!"

He poured the jam on the watch and spread it around.

"No, no!" Dijon said. "Not jam!"

"Yes, sure you want," Pumbaa said, "it's nice to see."

"Mustard?" asked Timon, as he balanced a jar of mustard on his foot.

"Mustard? Yes, but..." Pumbaa began, before he stopped and said, "Mustard? Don't let's be silly!" He tossed the mustard, took a lemon, and poured it into the clock, as he said, "Lemon, that's different, that's..." Then he closed the watch and used a butter knife to slice off the jam, as he said, "There. That should do it."

Then, the watch started to go haywire and jump around.

"Look at that!" Pumbaa exclaimed.

"It's going mad!" Timon said.

"Oh, my goodness!" Olivia said, looking worried.

"Oh dear!" Dijon said.

"It's going mad!" Timon said, as the clock jumped about. "Mad watch!"

"I don't understand," Pumbaa said, "it's the best butter."

"Mad watch! Mad watch! Mad watch!" Timon shouted.

"Oh, look!" Pumbaa exclaimed, as it went crazy. "Oh, my goodness!"

Timon lifted his hammer and said, "There's only one way to stop a mad watch!" He slammed the watch, destroying it completely. Now, it's nothing but a small pile of junk.

Pumbaa stared at it, before he said, nonchalantly, as he passed the watch to Dijon, "Two days slow, that's what it is."

"Oh, my watch..." Dijon said, getting all teary-eyed.

"It was?" asked Pumbaa.

"And it was my unbirthday present too..." Dijon added.

"Well, in that case..." Timon said, as he and Pumbaa grabbed the humanoid dog and prepared to throw him out of the garden.

Pumbaa and Timon: *A very merry unbirthday*
*Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*
*You*

Pumbaa and Timon tossed Dijon out of the garden and waved goodbye to him as Olivia tried to catch up to the dog.

"Mister Dog!" Olivia yelled, as she ran out of the party. "Oh, Mister Dog! Oh, now where did he go to?"

Then, she heard the tea party song again.

She turned and glared at Pumbaa and Timon, before she stormed off and Olivia muttered, "Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life."