Delicious: Emily's Moms vs Dads/Natural Selection

This is the third chapter of Delicious: Moms vs Dads. The first competition was excellent, showing off baby-changing skills!

## Level 21 - Setting Up Camp

*The competition’s getting even wilder, as we move to Camp Talon! Help set everything up.*

* The kids come into the range and dance!
* Francois and Stacey enter the camp from the left!
* Emily, Sharon and Mary-Lynn enter after them!
* Stacey: Camp Talon! I've been volunteering here since I was sixteen!
* Francois goes near the girls, excited.
* Francois: Ah, it reminds me of my Boy Scout days...
* Emily: All three of them, to be specific.
* They chuckle.
* Scout girl: Stacy!! Stacy! Come see this!!
* Scout boy: Stacy!! Yay! She's my favorite!
* Now the kids go to play.
* Sharon: I'm not surprised, seeing how... lax you are with your scoring.
* Emily: You didn't exactly restrain yourself, giving Chad a ten...
* Sharon is shocked!
* Emily: We were SUPPOSED to be teaching them a lesson! Why was \*I\* the only one to set a high bar?
* Stacey: Hey, I was meaner than a wet panther when it came to Mike!
* Sharon: How is a six mean!?
* Mary-Lynn: He didn't even finish the challenge on time!
* Emily facepalms.
* Sharon: My Chad sure did - in style! So how come you have him an eight?
* Stacey: Oh, enough about Chad!
* Emily: Okay, okay! New role - no more votes for their husband. Deal?
* They agreed with Emily.
* Emily: Great! Remember - us ladies need to stick together, no matter what!
* Emily, Stacey, Sharon and Mary-Lynn touch each other hands and accept the challenge.

### During the level

* Emily receives all the packages Francois delivered.

### Outro

* Meanwhile at O'Malley's place, Patrick reads the newspaper, and Emily appears from the left. Emily sneaks.
* Patrick: A FOUR? is that really what you think about my contributions around here?
* Patrick stands up and goes to Emily.
* Emily: Well... It's just a contest, Patrick.
* Emily: I mean, I tried to be fair, and after that laundry challenge...
* Patrick: But you know laundry is not my strong suit!
* Emily: But it could be!
* Emily: Patrick, I'm doing almost all the laundry these days. When it was just us and Paige it wasn't such a big deal but-
* Patrick: But- but- I do other things!
* Emily cheers Patrick up.
* Emily: Of course you do, Patrick.
* Emily: But only after I ask you to.
* Emily walks.
* Emily: ...and Patrick?
* Emily: You're going to rock this next challenge, I know it!
* Emily leaves to the right.

## Level 22 - Surviving the Morning Rush

*Everything is ready for the new challenge… but the kids ran away in excitement! Find them!*

* The fathers are dancing with the moves.
* Emily: Okay, dads! Ready for our Summer Camp Kid Care Challenge?
* The fathers step off the shooting range.
* Mike: You bet!
* Emily: Great, Mike - because you're first.
* Mike gets to go first!
* Emily: Each kid here at Camp Talon has a full day of scheduled activities ahead of them...
* Emily: ...your challenge is to make sure they brush their teeth, eat breakfast, wear the right clothes, have sunscreen, a water bottle...
* Emily: ...healthy snacks, a sack lunch, don't get over heated, overstimulated OR overtired. Got it?
* They get it.
* Mike: Heck, Stacy has to do the same for our kids every morning before I wake up...
* Stacy is pleased.
* Mike: How hard could it be?
* Emily, Sharon and Stacey shocked, then Stacey gets angry.

### Outro

* The children are eating food, and Mike is doing his actions.
* Sam: Ewww! That's not how mom does it.
* Mike: Well, mom's not making the lunches today, \*I\* am.
* The children find an object.
* Abigail: I can't find my hiking boots!
* The scout leader is here.
* Scout leader: Our first activity starts at oh-eight-hundred, sir! That's in two minutes and forty-five seconds!
* Mike: Okay! Let me just pack up their stuff.
* Mike packs up the stuff for children.
* Mike: There we go!
* Abigail follows the leader, but Sam falls on the backpack. Everyone's surprised.
* Mary-Lynn: What is it that Mike does again?
* Sharon: He's director of the parts department. You'd think he'd be good at this sort of thing.

## Level 23 - A Biting Lesson

*It seems one of the fathers hasn’t paid enough attention to detail… Take care of the mosquito bites!*

* Chad and Francois are working.
* Patrick: Well! I think I nailed this one, honey.
* Patrick sets up the campfire, while Emily goes to Francois near table.
* Emily: He he. Looks like some kid is going to go without a sandwich for lunch today.
* Patrick: Really? How irresponsible!
* Patrick continues working and Emily goes to work.
* Patrick: I... I...
* Patrick: Oh, no! I thought they'd be back before lunch!
* Francois: I wouldn't worry about it - they probably won't eat lunch on the trail today. Big mosquito outbreak.
* Patrick: Mosquitos! I forgot her bug spray!
* Paige and Grace enter the camp. Paige feels itchy.
* Patrick: Okay, sweetie - a little calamine lotion and these bug bites will go away real quick!
* Patrick: Are you hungry? I'll get you something for lunch!
* Paige: It's okay, Grave gave me her cake!
* Chad: It's no problem - Grace had PLENTY of food.
* Patrick: Oh... How um... how sweet of you, Grace.
* Paige goes to near archery range.

### Outro

* Mike shakes his arms. Emily, Mary-Lynn, and Sharon enter form the left.
* Emily: Chad, well done - your campers not only had everything they needed, they had enough extras to share with their friends.
* Emily goes to Andy.
* Emily: Andy - solid effort...
* Emily: Although your campers didn't have their swimsuits and had to go swimming in their overalls - talk about a damp squib!
* Emily goes to Patrick.
* Emily: Patrick, your campers has a lot of fun - card games, bug catchers, butterfly nets, special treats...
* Emily: ...but they lacked some essentials - lunches and BUG REPELLENT.
* Emily goes to Mike.
* Emily: Mike... your camper has no sunblock, no hat, no water bottle, no snacks, no bathing suit, no towel...
* Emily: ...and still, somehow their backpacks were so heavy they couldn't even walk.
* Mike: Er... well- he he. I find that heavy burdens build character.
* Sharon, Mary-Lynn, Chad, Andy, Patrick and Emily leave the camp, heading left.
* Mike: We're done here, right? I've got to get to work...
* Mike: Darn tie...
* Stacey: Oh, just let me.
* As Mike unable to remove tie, Stacey helps remove the tie and kisses.
* Mike leaves to the left.

## Level 24 - Gluten-Free Outings

*Breakfast’s ready! It’s Andy’s special recipe, but the gluten-intolerant kids with the blue neckerchiefs can’t eat it!*

* Andy's cooking a special recipe while the girls are on.
* Paige, Grace, Abigail and Sam: We want breakfast! We want breakfast!
* Paige, Grace, Abigail and Sam: We want breakfast! We want breakfast!
* Andy: Okay, okay - one Andy Scramble comin' up!
* Mike: Andy Scramble?
* Andy: Eggs, cream, a little basil and a sprinkle of shredded parmesan cheese!
* Andy serves the kids.
* Nora gets a phone.
* Nora: Emily, you've got to see these numbers! Your viewership is through the roof, engagement is up 27% and Andy's Q-score is sky high!
* Emily looks on her phone.
* Emily: Wow, you're really picking up on this social media stuff.
* Sharon looks on Emily's phone.
* Emily: Team Andy... Team Mike... Team Patrick... Team Chad...
* Emily: Boy, people are REALLY into our little contest.
* Emily: Hopefully, it's for the right reasons.
* Nora puts away the phone.
* Emily: They seem very focused on seeing their favorite win...

### Outro

* Meanwhile at O'Malley's home, Patrick looks at twins and Paige plays with toy car.
* Emily appears from the left.
* Emily kisses Patrick's hair.
* Patrick: What was that for?
* Emily: Listen, I'm sorry about that four I gave you... Truth is, you ARE a good father.
* Patrick: Well, it certainly doesn't feel that way... Even Emmy doesn't seem to think so.
* Patrick: She was about to start crawling, and the moment I try to help her - she doesn't move an inch.
* Emily: Because she's not ready yet, that's all.
* Patrick stands up.
* Patrick: Yeah, I suppose you're right.
* Patrick leaves to the right.
* Emily: C'mon you two, when's someone going to reach a new milestone for daddy, huh? He's feeling a little sad right now.
* Emily encourages Emmy to crawl. There she does!
* Emily: Oh, my goodness!
* Paige looks at her sister crawl!
* Emmy crawls to Emily! Patrick appears from the right to see them!
* Patrick: What happened?!
* Emily: Er... nothing, sweetie! Just that mouse that keeps popping up.
* Patrick: Stupid rodent... I'll get that thing one day!
* Patrick leaves to the right, and Emily sets her hair. Paige looks.

## Level 25 - A Hairy Development

*A new audience appears as Mike faces his worst nightmare: his daughter’s tangled hair.*

* Mike untangles Abigail's hair. The hair is tangled again!
* Mike: he he. Must be the humidity.
* Surprise! It's Bob and the cameraman!
* Bob: Aaaaaand cut!
* Bob and the cameraman go to mike and Abigail.
* Bob: Great stuff everyone, can we try that again - maybe with a bigger reaction to the hair?
* Sharon's surprised.
* Emily: Who are you?
* Sharon shoots Bob and the cameraman away.
* Nora goes near Abigail and Mike.
* Sharon enters the camp from the left. She laughs.
* Shraon: Whoops! He he - I can explain, actually.
* Sharon: WSNUG Channel Six contacted me! They want to broadcast the rest of the contest.
* Nora: Pfft! OLD media.
* Emily: I don't know, Sharon. This was supposed to be just a fun little contest amongst friends.
* Sharon: Well, um... the problem is that I, er... I already said 'yes'.
* They're feared!
* Emily: Sharon! How could you do that without consulting us first?
* Sharon: Well, EXCUSE me! I had to give then an answer right away!
* Sharon: Besides, I thought you'd be excited!
* Sharon and Mary-Lynn are discontent.
* Sharon: Ooh! I wonder if they'll bring along a makeup artist - I should go buy some new makeup, just in case.
* Sharon is excited.

### During the level

* Emily and Stacey untangle Abigail's hair. This needs 8 actions.

### Outro

* Mike's is interview with Bob.
* Bob: Mike - you're a fan favorite...
* Bob: With that in mind, how does it feel to be so doing so gosh darn AWFUL?
* Mike is shocked when Earnest is here!
* Earnest: This interview is over!
* Bob and the cameraman leave the camp.
* Earnest wants to attract Mike.
* Mike: Ernest - what's going on? Something at work?
* Earnest: You're darn right it's something at work - listen...
* Earnest: The mayor is none too happy about this little competition of yours being on TV.
* Mike: The mayor?!
* Earnest: She says that your performance is making the parks department look bad - which reflects poorly on her for having hired you.
* Mike is feared.
* Mike: How bad is it, Ernest?
* Earnest: Let me put it this way - if you don't step it up, you'll have more time to practice your domestic skills...
* Earnest: A LOT more time.
* Mike is overlooked.

## Level 26 - Pancake Show-Off

*Pancake flippers have a tough life. Let’s help Mike get the perfect flip!*

* Mike is cooking the pancakes. It burned!
* Mike gets another panckae to cook. Stacey enters from the left.
* Stacey: There you are! What are you doing here so early?
* Mike: Ah... er... nothing, dear! Just getting in some practice.
* Stacey: Well look at you! Why the change of heart?
* Mike: We... I guess losing has awakened my competitive fire.
* Mike: Wanna see the flip?
* Stacey: Oh, yeah - let's see the flip, baby!
* Mike flips the pancake but it landed on Stacey's head!
* Stacey: THe flip don't matter if it tastes delicious.
* Stacey tastes it.
* Mike: Well?
* Stacey: It's um... not- COUGH! COUGH! ...bad.
* Mike: I'll keep at it. Don't worry, I'll get it!
* Mike continued to cook the pancakes.

### Outro

* Patrick watches Abigail, Sam and paige eat the meals while Grace and the scouts enter the camp.
* Chad serves them.
* Chad: So Patrick, how did you do this morning?
* Patricjk: Great! Get this - I got them honey flakes and milk for breakfast - with a twist!
* Patrick: I gave them some honey so they could make SUPER honey flakes. The kids love it!
* Chad: My, this IS impressive...
* Patrick: What'd you come up with?
* Chad: Just some personalized breakfast bento boxes with homemade jam and fresh-picked fruit.
* Grace: My waffle looks like a doggie!
* Scout girl: Mine's a giraffe!
* Chad: Good luck with your milk and cereal, though.
* Chad leaves the camp to the left.
* Patrick: And HONEY! You forgot the honey!

## Level 27 - Changing the Focus

*Stacy needs to give Mike a helping hand, by hook or by crook… Just don’t let it get on camera!*

* The fathers are working.
* Stacey: Psst! Mike!
* Mike goes to Stacey.
* Mike: What's with the cloak and dagger routine?
* Stacey looks around. She has a cloak and dagger routine for him.
* Stacey: Here - for the challenge.
* Mike gets a box and places down.
* Stacey: I know all about the mayor threatening your job over this stupid competiton!
* Mike: Yeah, I should have told you about that - but look, I've been practicing and-
* Stacey: Please, those pancakes were tougher than a one-eyed alley cat!
* Stacey: These here are my granny's recipe. Just sneak 'em on the grill and you'll win first place, guaranteed.
* Mike accepts the challenge.

### During the level

* Emily and Stacey prevent the cameraman from catching Mike.

### Outro

* Bob and the cameraman are watching Mike. Stacey, Sharon, Emily and Mary-Lynn are watching.
* Bob: Stay close! If he has a meltdown after doing badly again I want it all on camera!
* Mike: Er... mind giving me a little elbow room, buddy?
* Bob and the cameraman move a little apart, allowing Mike to cook.
* Stacey: Sakes alive! Is that bigfoot?!
* Stacey allows cameraman and Bob leave the camp. Stacey goes to the girls.
* Mike hides the food into the box and put the finishing touches.
* Mike: Okay, pancakes are ready! Mike's special recipe!
* Sharon: Hold on a minute.
* Sharon and Stacey go to Mike.
* Sharon moves Mike to taste the pancakes.
* Sharon: These are STRAWBERRY pancakes! Your batter didn't have any strawberries in it, we checked when you started!
* Emily, Sharon and Mary-Lynn are surprised, then Emily and Mary-Lynn go to Sharon!
* Mike: Er... um... are you sure?
* Sharon: Look!
* Sharon gets a box.
* The guys and girls are shocked!
* Mary-Lynn: Gasp! He snuck some illegal pancakes into the competition!
* Mike: I- er... I-
* Stacey: IT'S MY FAULT!

## Level 28 - Something Smells Fishy

*Mike and Stacy have been caught… But they’re not the only ones who’ll end up smelling bad.*

* Emily: We'll need to suspend the competition for now, Stacy - we need to decide how to move forward.
* Emily: I mean, the others are even talking about disqualifying Mike...
* Stacey: Please! It was my idea - I swear. He didn't want to cheat!
* Emily: Then why? Why'd you do it?
* Stacey: I just... He was strugglin' and I wanted to throw him a life preserver, I guess...
* Stacey: ...but I only made things worse.
* Emily takes a breath.
* Emily: The other night, Emmy crawled for the first time while Patrick wasn't here.
* Emily: He was having a pretty bad day, so I hid it from him... I don't even know why!
* Stacey: Sometimes they don't look like it, but they ARE grown men...
* Stacey: Maybe they ain't as helpless as we think they are...
* Bob came with the dirty and the cameraman is here!
* Emily and Stacey step back.
* Bob: Well, we didn't find 'bigfoot' - but we sure found a SKUNK.
* Bob cleans himself while Emily and Stacey laugh.

### During the level

* Emily and Stacey help Bob clean himself off.

### Outro

* Stacey: Mike... I'm sorry 'bout what happened...
* Mike: I'm sorry for letting you take the blame.
* Earnest arrives from the right.
* Mike: What's the mood at city hall, Ernest?
* Earnest: I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Mike - it's bad.
* Earnest: Thank goodness your little 'incident' with the pancakes wasn't televised.
* Earnest:You ask me? Best thing would be to make a quiet exit from the show. Like Richie's brother on Happy Days - there one season, gone the next.
* Mike: Rickie Cunningham had a brother?
* Emily, Mary-Lynn and Shron come from the right.
* Emily: Mike, Stacy - we've come to a decision.
* Mike goes to Emily.
* Mike: Sorry, Emily - but I've come to a decision of my own.
* Emily's worried.

## Level 29 - Doing it for the Kids

*The girls have reached a decision, but Mike has something to say himself… Talk to him to give him courage.*

* Everyone is here!
* Mike: I have an announcement!
* Mike steps on.
* Mike: I'm formally drop-
* Abigail and Sam are on.
* Abigail and Sam: Daddy! Daddy!
* Mike picks up Abigail.
* Sam: The other kids are saying you're the WORST dad in the whole town because you're losing the contest!
* Abigail: That's not true, is it, Daddy?
* Mike puts Abigail down.
* Mike: Like heck it is!
* Sharon's in disblief, while Mary-Lynn, Stacey and Emily are happy!
* Sam: That's what I said!
* Sam: Your breakfast may not taste supoer good - but it's the most fun in the whole camp!
* Mike is in order.
* Sharon: Mike? You were saying...?
* Mike: I was saying...
* Mike and the kids walk.
* Mike: ...that I take full respoonsibility for my actions, and I apologize. But I want to remain in the competition, and I want a retrial!
* Everyone's happy - Earnest is surprised, and Sharon is still shocked!

### During the level

* Emily and Stacey encourage Mike.
* Stacey: Mike, it's just pancakes. You can do it!
* Emily: It's so nice to be doing this for your kids, even with your job at risk...
* Emily: Dig deep! You can do anything if you REALLY make an effort!
* Stacey: Just relax, and don't think about the fact they're recording everything for TV.
* Emily: Stacy will be so happy, it's nice that she sees you really trying... for a change.

### Outro

* Everyone, Nora, the cameraman and Bob are watching Mike and the kids cook pancakes!
* Bob: It all comes down to this challenge, folks! At this point, the question is how MUCH will Mike screw up this time?
* Mike: Okay guys, you ready for the flip?
* Abigail: Yay, Daddy!
* Sam: You got this, Dad!
* Mike takes the pan with pancake.
* Mike: Here goes nothing...
* Mike flips the pancake to the sky! Everyone is feared!
* Earnest: I can't look!
* Mike holds the pan for pancake landing.
* The pancake landed perfectly! Earnest, Emily, Mary-lynn, Patrick, Stacey and the kids are happy! Stacey agrees with Mike.
* Mike finishes cooking and serves.
* Mike: Now, then - we'll just add a little syrup to them and-
* Mike reveals under the cooked pancake. Stacey is shocked.
* Mike: He he - I guess they're a little underdone, maybe.
* Abigail: It's like a pancake wedding cake!
* Sam: Yeah!
* Mike places the wedding cake.
* Mike: And what do you know about wedding cakes, young lady? You aren't going to need one until you're fifty!
* Mike and Stacey chuckle.

## Level 30 - Breaking Camp

*It’s time to know the test results… Leave the campers with a good taste in their mouths.*

* The show is still on!
* Emily: No surprises here - the winner of our Camp Talon challenge series is...
* Emily: Chad with nines across the board!
* Emily, Mary-Lynn and Stacey all gave 9 to Chad! (**Chad's score is 27**)
* Emily: Andy... you earned an eight from myself and Stacy...
* Emily and Stacey gave Andy 8 points.
* Sharon gives Andy 5 points. (**Andy's score is 21**)
* Emily: ...and a five from Sharon.
* Emily: Mike, you scored a six from myself and Mary-Lynn... and a five from Sharon.
* EMily and Mary-Lynn gave Mike 6 points, and SHaron gave Mike 5. (**Mike's score is 17**)
* Mike: Hey, not bad!
* Patrick: Uh... what about me?
* Sharon, Stacey and Mary-Lynn all gave 5 points to Patrick. (**Patrick's score is 15**)
* Emily: Oh! Um... Patrick, you scored all fives.
* Patrick looks depressed with his score.
* Abigail and Sam came to celebrate!
* Abigail and Sam: Yay! Daddy's not last! Daddy's not last!
* Earnest: Well played, my friend. You keep this up, you just might turn this into a positive!
* Mike celebrates!

### Post-chapter

* Emily plays with her kids.
* Emly: Patrick... come join us.
* Patrick: Mmf.
* Patrick looks away.
* Emily goes to Patrick.
* Emily: Patrick... we talked about this - it's just a silly contest. It doesn't mean ANYTHING.
* Patrick: Mmf.
* Patrick looks away again.
* Emily: I mean, 'contest' is too big a word, really. It's... it's... like a big party game!
* Emily: Albeit, one that's being played in multiple locations over several weeks...
* Patrick: I'm in last, place, Emily. LAST. Even Mike beat me at this one!
* Emily is scared, but she has an idea.
* Emily: Er... Patrick, I need to get dinner going. Come watch the twins.
* Emily goes to get dinner but she watches Patrick her twins.
* Patrick: Hey, Vito... Hey, Emmy. How're the wonder twins doing?
* Emily, Paige encourage Emmy to crawl.
* Paige: Mommy, what are yo-?
* Emmy: Ga-ahhh!
* Emmy is crawling!
* Patrick: Emily! Emily, come quick!
* Emily comes to Patrick and Emmy.
* Emily: What happened?
* Patrick: Emmy! She- she cralwed, Emily! She crawled right to me!
* Emily: That's amazing! You know, I've been trying to get her to do that for weeks, now.
* Emily: You must have that magic touch!
* Emily closes one eye, and Paige is pleased.