Return to the Realm of Tears

**Return to the Realm of Tears** is the second film in the Realm of Tears series. It begins in the year 2269 and follows the story of Doney Danko I's descendants Doit Danko XVI and Doney Danko IV in their journey to earn much cash which quickly transforms into a quest to stop The Dark Lord's evil exploits.

## Plot

The film starts with Doit and Doney casually hanging out in 2269 when a strange man gives them a letter inviting them to fight in a tournament in the Realm of Tears to win "much cash." After discussing the idea, the duo agree to go forward with the plan.

Doney and Doit go through intense physical training in order to be fit and ready for the Realm of Tears, during which Doney's fear of heights is revealed. After reaching peak fitness, the pair proceed to go to the Realm of Tears, but are momentarily stopped when they start to argue. The argument ends when Doit reminds Doney of the "much cash," to which Doney exclaims "much cash, bitches!" and the duo engage in their iconic high-five. Immediately after that, they set off on their adventure and a masked man looks over the wall he was hanging on, suggesting that he may have been spying on the pair.

On their journey to the Realm of Tears, Doit and Doney encounter many obstacles such as hurdles, low obstacles, wrecking balls and climbing poles to get to otherwise inaccessible places.

Upon arrival at the Tournament of Souls, the are introduced by Bernsteene himself (with the Mercenarie standing next to him) and placed against Glynnis and Gladyss of Gril. In the initial stages of fighting, Doney accidentally shoots Mercenarie and he falls off his podium as a result. The competitors are initially unaware of what just happened until Bernsteene jumps off the stage and progresses to eat Mercenarie's soul, in which they act in shock, and all decide to retreat.

Although they're in a relatively safe haven, the Dankos and the Grils still remain wary of each other, pointing their guns and swords at the opposition. Doit takes charge and orders everyone to team up, to which Glynnis immediately agrees. However, Doney and Gladyss remain hostile towards one another. After some time passes, the two come to their senses and all four team up to defeat Bernsteene.

After leaving the haven, Doit asks how they could defeat Bernsteene. Glynnis says that they "must perform a blood sacrifice to summon our great lord and saviour, Kanye West." Gladyss points her gun at Doney, but Doit stops her because they find the Kirwan Bear on the ground nearby. The group shoots the bear multiple times before stabbing it repeatedly, which causes Kanye West to appear. After praising their lord, the group asks him for knowledge of Bernsteene's weakness, to which he replies that they must play the greatest song in the world to him which will defeat him.

After that, Doit spots something hiding behind a giant wall divider. The group walks over to inspect it, only to have Mercenarie jump and roll out in front of them, threatening to shoot. Doit shoots him, which momentarily knocks him unconscious. Mercenarie awakens to find guns and swords pointed at him as the group orders for him to tell them the greatest song ever. Resisting them, Mercenarie ends up getting shot in the left knee and crumples over in pain. He gives in when the group threatens to shoot his other knee, stating that he actually had no idea what the song was. In a rage, each group member turns their back on Mercenarie and damages surrounding objects and swearing. Realising his chance, Mercenarie escapes.

The Dankos and the Grils return to Kanye and demand for an answer to which Kanye reluctantly says "Power, by me." They thank Kanye and proceed to defeat the Dark Lord.

Arriving at Bernsteene's office, they confront Bernsteene's secretary and kill her after she opposes them. They walk into his office with *Power* playing. Another fight ensues. Bernsteene uses a distraction to escape and disappears around the corner. However, they spot Mercenarie and continue the fight with him before he runs around the same corner where they find Bernsteene trying to disguise himself as a cleaner. Doney engages Mercenarie while the others attempt to destroy Bernsteene. Bernsteene, weakened by *Power*, is quickly knocked to the ground and defeated by Doit, Glynnis and Gladyss. Doney is still fighting the unweakened Mercenarie and the fight appears to be a stalemate until Doney kicks Mercenarie's knees. Upon discovering Mercenarie's weakness, they continue to stomp on his knees until he allegedly dies.

The group retrieves the much cash and travel to the outskirts of the Realm of Tears to divide the money between themselves. However, greed plagues Gladyss and she shoots Doney through the head in an attempt to take all the cash for the Grils. Gladyss celebrates by throwing the money over herself while Doit mourns Doney's death and Glynnis falls into a mild state of shock. Doit turns and walks towards Gladyss while she is distracted by the much cash and shoots her through the head. Doit faces into the sun with triumph before he is beaten to the ground by a hostile Glynnis who stabs him twice in the leg. She is about to shoot him when Mercenarie grabs her from behind and snaps her neck, before turning towards Doit who is on the ground. Doit shoots Mercenarie in both knees, causing him to fall to the ground. Screaming in pain, Mercenarie charges towards Doit who shoots him in the right eye, apparently killing him. Doit, shocked, scared, exhausted and in pain, crawls away from the scene.

Hours later, when darkness is setting in, he collapses in front of a robot with the words "Fuckinator 3000" inscribed on the front. The robot talks to him, telling him things like: he's dying, no mortal's life will ever amount to anything, the Earth Realm never existed and that there is no God and the universe was created by the Devil.

Doit falls unconscious and Bernsteene peeks around a corner at him (revealing that he did actually survive) before shouting "Kinky!"

Doit's fate is left ambiguous.

The prequel is *Realm of Tears*, and the sequel *Rain of Tears*, is also the series' concluding chapter.

Run time of the uncut, original version is 39 minutes and 1 second.

## See Also

* Characters in Return to the Realm of Tears