The Holders Volume 8 (71-80)

(NOTE: All 545 Object entries in the Holders series aren't credited to any authors so I'll just link to the official website)

## The Holder of The Sky

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the Sky". The receptionist will ignore your existence completely, and you will collapse on the floor. You will wake up in a torrent of soundless rain, the silence will be unbearable, and there will be no environment; what you walk on is solid air in a tempest.

In the silence a huge mass of people dressed in complete darkness will appear and begin approaching you; do not fear. Take off your shirt and wrap it around your dominant hand and walk towards them. Do not speak. When you get close hold your arm forward and simply fend aside anyone who is in your way; should your skin come into contact with any of them, the silence will be broken and you will become visible to them, and that would mean the end.

Going through, you will see a man in scarlet; he will be the only one standing still, and the only one that can see you. An empty circle will oddly form with you and the man inside, the rest continuously walking. Stand and wait; once the man raises his hand you must immediately break the silence: â€œHow many will perish when they are brought together?â€

The men will all stop and rhythmically face towards you, all of them eyeing your every move. Once they are all facing you, you must then ask, â€œAnd how many will be there to fight back?â€

They will laugh. All but the one in the red cloak will laugh. Their cackling will resonate throughout the space you stand on, but you mustnâ€™t give in. Resume asking, â€œAnd how many will be there to fight back?â€ Their laughter will grow and they will begin to fade. Once all but one are no more, ask one last question to the scarlet man: â€œWhere will we be safe from them?â€

The man will bow before you and fade; the only thing left will be his scarlet red cloak.

This cloak is Object 71 of 538. When worn it brings you back to this space, the only place safe when they are brought together.

## The Holder of Sanity

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Sanity". The receptionist will look at you strangely, but you must repeat the same question, and nothing else. Eventually, she will call for a "doctor" and you will be taken to the room in the furthest corner of the institution. Beware, for after this point there is no turning back, and if you wish to leave then, tell the doctor that you are sorry and must not have taken your medication today, and leave. Run as far away as you can, outside of the city limits, outside of the country limits, for cowards are not spared if caught. If you continue on, you will be put into a straitjacket and locked in a padded room.

After a few days that will seem like months, you will start to hear voices. Hundreds of them, all talking about how their lives were ruined. Their stories may drive you mad, and you would have to stay there for all eternity, for in your padded room, there is no death, only torture. If the voices stop talking, close your eyes tight, and shout at the top of your lungs, "I will not share your stories." If the voices do not resume, pray that the pain you will next feel will not be so bad, however unlikely that is. If the voices continue talking, single out the voice that speaks of the very hospital you are in, listen to his story, and open your eyes. You will not be in the cell anymore, but still in a straitjacket. Instead, you will be in what seems like an endless void, the only thing separating you from the void a glass box.

A man will appear in front of you and ask if you have any questions. He will respond to one, and only one, question. Ask, "What drove them to insanity?" He will explain in horrifying detail about the lives and deaths of them. During his response, a large black dot will appear to be moving through the void, but you must not focus your sight on it, for it will shatter the glass box, leaving you to fall into the void for all eternity.

Once the man has finished his story, he will remove your straitjacket and bid you farewell. You will find yourself standing outside the institution, holding the straitjacket.

The jacket is Object 72 of 538. You can only pray that you may never wear it again.

## The Holder of Triumph

In any city, in any country, enter any library you find. Ask the librarian at the front desk to see the Holder of Triumph. She will raise an eyebrow as if judging you but nonetheless will take you deeper into the library.

You will see a door in the southeast wing of the building that you could swear would lead you outside. The librarian will stop at said door and knock three times. A voice that sounds similar to two sheets of sandpaper rubbing together will ask, "Confident are thee, that triumph awaits at the end?" You must answer "Indeed, for I do not fail." Say this before the librarian answers that you are a failure. If she does this, your very soul will be crushed under the weight of your own failure and she will feast on your flesh while you weep in your loss.

If you answer in time (and confidently enough), the librarian will hiss and produce a dagger. DO NOT ATTACK HER, for her strength and speed are beyond legend. She will hand the blade off to you and open the door, whispering curses as you pass.

The path is well lit, with no end in sight. Mirrors line the path reflecting every victory, good and evil, since before time began. To look into any of these mirrors is to fail in the scenario it reflects.

The path stretches beyond time, and you must follow. After what seems like an eternity of walking, a large steel door will appear. A voice will beckon you closer. Keep your mind free of doubt. You must be sure of your triumph, lest you have your soul rent from you and tortured for eternity.

Step up to the door and knock seven times. If the voice brands you a failure, the horror you will see will force you to slice your own throat open with the dagger. If there is no answer, then enter.

The room will be dark. The inky darkness will be almost tangible. Ask your question: "What will happen when he triumphs?" The room will light up, revealing a naked figure of great height, with the physique of Adonis, every feature gleaming in perfection save for the fact that he has no face. He will rise and turn toward you.

Ask again, "What will happen when He triumphs?"

The figure will cock his head sharply to the right and immediately lunge at you. DO NOT FLINCH, or he will beat you to death and feed off of your sanity. Instead, charge. But I warn you to attack with berserk ferocity or you will surely lose.

You must not kill him, only incapacitate him. He will speak directly into your mind: "Your perseverance serves." Do not thank him, instead yell, "THRICE I SAY AND DONE! WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN HE TRIUMPHS?" The figure will scream now, the sound threatening to implode your mind, and he will describe in gruesome detail the end of time, when He arrives. Stab the figure in the throat and remove his head. His head will serve as your trophy, a symbol of your triumph.

This trophy is Object 73 of 538. He knows who you are. Bask in His Triumph when the time comes.

## The Holder of The Mark

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the Mark." The receptionist will freeze, as though he has known this moment was coming for a long time and is afraid it has finally arrived. He will stutter and tell you there is no such man here, but be insistent. He will eventually yield and after looking around to see if anyone else is here, he will beckon for you to follow him.

He will lead you along corridors of increasingly smaller size, until you eventually have to stoop. He will point you to a door at the end of a corridor so small you have to crawl to get to the end. It will be perfectly normal except for a large exclamation mark in the centre and a smaller question mark on the doorknob. This is your last chance to turn away, and if you have the slightest hint of doubt in you I recommend you do so. If your will is strong, open the door gently and pull yourself through.

You will emerge in an ornate hall, covered with wall paintings depicting famous historical dictators and murderers, butchers, rapists and serial killers. Do not linger on them, for the souls of the people reside in those pictures and the twisted hate of their life has been amplified in their death, waiting to reach out and rend you limb from limb, delighting in your slow and painful death.

When you finally reach the end of the hall, there will be a small wooden box with an insignia on it that is old and faded. You will feel a sharp tingle go up your spine as you behold this item and then a voice behind you will say: "Beautiful, is it not?" You must reply: "As the full moon." If he is not satisfied with your response, pray he doesn't make you one of his paintings and instead gives you a painless death. But if he is satisfied, he will say: "You ask?" You must say exactly: "How do we destroy them?" He will laugh and say he doesn't know, but then will simply state, "You're bound to think of something." You will then wake up in the nearest bathroom, your eye in excruciating pain. As the pain recedes, you will see that your pupil has now taken the shape of the mark on the box back in that room.

That mark is Object 74 of 538. It will allow you to behold the ultimate truth. Whether or not the experience will be worth it is another matter.

## The Holder of Chance

In any city, in any country, seek out any school or educational facility you can find. When you reach the front desk, ask to see a person who calls himself "The Holder of Chance." If the secretary shows any sign of fear, give the request again, and do not relent. Eventually your perseverance will pay off, and you will be led to a deserted classroom in a closed-down wing of the school. Scraps of police tape and faded chalk profiles will litter the floor, and the door will be sealed behind you before you can inquire anything. At this point you must choose one of the thirty desks, sit down and wait. Only one of these desks will allow you to keep your life; advising you to choose wisely would do little good, as there is no way to tell if you have done so until it is too late. After a short wait you should begin to hear things - children laughing, droning lectures, and the occasional snore - but these are merely echoes of a time when the classroom was host to nothing more devious than homework and pop quizzes.

As you wait, the sounds will slowly change. Where there was once laughter and lectures, there will now be screams of agony and howls of despair. Shades of the classroom's horrible history will begin to take shape around you. Do not fear the shades, as they are harmless. The beast they can coalesce into, however, is not. As your wait continues, the shadows will grow more numerous and the classroom's history will unfold in increasingly gruesome detail. This part has driven many men into fits of tears and more still into madness. Should you reach the end of this macabre production with your sanity intact, you will find out if you have chosen wisely. If you have chosen incorrectly, the shades will take form. They are hideous mockeries of what they were in life, half-formed doppelgangers of those long dead. There is no escape from this room now. They will tear you apart ever so slowly, taking twisted delight in inflicting the pain they have suffered on someone else. It will take you days, perhaps even weeks, to die. The only consolation you will have is that you will likely lose your sanity after the first few hours.

If you were lucky and chose the one correct desk, the shades will gather around you, coalescing into a pitch black mass. When it disappears, you will find yourself in the most lavish casino imaginable. It is populated by those who have played the games so long that their flesh has long since rotted away (for death is forbidden from entering this casino) and yet still play, hoping to gain their freedom. The casino has but two exits. One leads to a wasteland where fell beasts roam, and nothing but certain death awaits. The cost to pass through is four silver coins. The other door will take you to what you seek, and is the only chance for you to leave with your life. The cost to pass through is five gold coins. You will be holding a single silver coin in your hand. Don't fret; as long as you are in this casino, you can never have any less than this one coin. A nearby sign will tell you that three silvers equal one gold. You must play if you do not wish to be trapped here for good, but remember the old casino boss's idiom: "You can't beat the house."

Nearly every game is rigged in favor of the house and the precious few which aren't change at random, serving only to trick and confuse you. The odds are most definitely not in your favor. If you do begin to win, take care to keep your fortune as secret as possible, as the damned around you have not been so lucky. Bear in mind that you cannot die in this place and that boastfulness may inspire them to turn on you in a fit of jealous hatred, ripping great chunks of flesh out of your body until their jealousy is quenched and their bloodlust sated.

If, against all odds, you manage to gather the five gold coins and enter the door unmolested by the other gamblers, you will find yourself in an elevator. It will take you up to an office even more opulent than the casino below. Behind a desk at the far end of the room will sit a skeletal figure, dressed in the finest suit you will ever see. Approach the desk and stand before it, asking only one question: "Will you roll?" It will nod and produce a pair of dice from its jacket. Call the roll, evens or odds. If you lose, the skeleton will grin, and you will take its place, waiting thousands of years for the next Seeker to be so lucky as to reach your new abode. If you should win, however, it will let loose a wail that will unbind the magics that hold the place together. Death will finally enter the casino below, granting the wretched gamblers the rest that has for so long been denied them. As the casino disintegrates around you, stand perfectly still. Hopefully you will not be taken with it, but if you are, there is no being in this world who can say what will happen to you. If you were not taken, you will reappear in the classroom. It will be exactly the same as you left it save a mound of dust and rotting cloth at your feet. Within it you fill find a pair of dice. As soon as you touch them, the door will unlock.

That pair of dice is Object 75 of 538. With every roll, they take another life. Will yours be the next they claim?

## The Holder of Fate

In any city, in any country, seek out any school or educational facility you can find. When you reach the front desk, ask to see a man who calls himself â€œThe Holder of Fate.â€ Halfway through your question, the secretary's face will light up with recognition, and she will produce an ornately decorated box. Opening it will yield you nothing but a bemused smile from the secretary, as it will be empty. After a moment, she will draw your attention back to her and lead you into the principal's office. After a few muttered words between the two, the principal will welcome you with a handshake, and proceed to open a trapdoor concealed under his desk. He will hand you a dagger and offer a few grim words of luck before lowering you into the hole and closing the door. For a moment, you will be in total darkness, but images will soon emerge in front of you. You will recognize them as moments from your own life, and as you watch, you may come to realize that they are all connected. Every moment of your life has culminated in this very moment, and it is only with this realization that proceeding forward will become possible. But worry not, for this is a timeless place.

When you have accepted your fate, a door will appear in front of you. Through it is a single room with a closed door at the far end, blocked off from you by a gate. Once you are clear of the door you entered from, it will slam shut, and a person will materialize in front of you. Confused, they may prompt you for an explanation, but regardless of your answer, a fight will inevitably begin. If, at any time during the fight, should your opponent's stomach be revealed, you will see that your own name is inscribed there. What this means, however, cannot be told. This battle will be one of the few moments of your life that is not scripted, and you will be well aware of the fact, as even moving your body will feel far more difficult than usual. Fortunately, the same holds true for your foe. Should you win the battle, the door at the far end of the room will open, and the gate will disappear. Fate will have lost its hold on you by this point, and what will happen to you beyond that door is beyond the knowledge of any being, but you can be certain that the chances of surviving without fate on your side are questionable at best. What is known, however, is that if you are an extremely lucky soul, you will eventually come to an ancient, rotting door. The doorknob will be lying on the ground before it, having long since rusted over and fallen from its place. One solid push is all it will take to open this door, and a cloud of dust will rise from the ground where it falls.

After the dust clears and you enter the room, you will be in an earthen cave. A small window, if it can be called that, will provide enough light for you to see three figures in the center of the room. The figures on the left and right, you will see as you draw closer, have been dead for many years. A stone is lodged in the skull of one, and the head of the second hangs at an awkward angle, its neck clearly broken. The figure in the center, however, still lives, despite its appearance, which clearly indicates that this being should have died centuries ago. The old crone, for that is what the center figure is, has only one eye. No ordinary eye, mind you, as it seems to shine with an otherworldly brilliance. Ask her this, and only this, lest she end your life in a manner so horrible that your worst fears would seem a blessing in comparison: "What do you see?" She will answer at her own pace, and impatience on your part will bring the full force of her considerable wrath upon you. When she finally speaks, it will be in a tortured voice. She will tell you that she sees everything, but that she had lost sight of you as soon as your earlier battle started. Deciding that you are too great of a threat, she will attack you, with speed and strength seemingly impossible for her decrepit body to possess. You must act quickly, as one hit from her will destroy you utterly. Take the box you received earlier and open it. Be warned, though; the contents of that once empty box are not fit for human eyes, and if yours happen to be open when they emerge, your existence will end in a most terrifying manner. Once the box is opened, you will hear unearthly sounds. When they cease, close the box and open your eyes, but not a moment before. Looking around, nothing will have changed but for the crone. Time has caught up with her, as she will now be as dead as the other two figures in this room. Her eye is nowhere to be seen.

You now have two choices. Opening the box a second time will reveal an object that will grant you the power to control the past, present and future of the world, save for the room you reside in, and the ones you passed through after your battle. However, should you do this, you will be trapped in this room for all eternity, with no conceivable escape. Your second choice is to leave the room and brave whatever horrors you faced in order to get there. In either case, fate will no longer have any control over your life. Not long after, you will discover what a sickening burden it truly is to control your own destiny.

The Object that now lies within the box is number 76 of 538. There are some who are now aware of its existence. May it never fall into the wrong hands.

## The Holder of Divinity

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you get to the front desk, ask to visit "The Holder of Divinity". Repeat this two more times before the worker responds. He should stiffen, looking straight upwards for a few seconds before looking back down at you with eyes of an indescribable color. You must then follow the worker, keeping your eyes on the ground, tracing his footsteps as exactly as you can. If you do not follow precisely, you will never find your way again.

When the worker stops, turn around and look up from the ground. Resist any urge to look behind you from this point on. You will find yourself facing a door, with a hideously shaped red dagger stabbed into the center. Grip its handle, and an incredible pain should slowly creep up the surface of your arm, then across your whole body, sinking deeper and deeper into your body. If at any time you release your hold on the dagger, the pain will never go away, even after you die. Once the pain reaches your heart, you should feel a sudden surge of demonic strength. Rip the dagger from the door and it will swing open, the pain vanishing as the dagger separates from the door.

You must run through the doorway and through a long, arched hallway, which will open into a strangely lit circular room. Go straight for the man in the center. He will be kneeling, facing away from you, deep in prayer, completely in shadow but surrounded by a golden glow. If he finishes his prayer before you reach him, your eternal soul won't be worth a plugged nickel.

Once you reach him, press the dagger to his throat and ask the question, "What do they teach?" He will begin to sing in answer. Do not try to comprehend his words; in your state they would destroy you. Listen only for the word "sacrifice". As soon as you hear this word, stab the dagger into his throat. His blood will seep onto the dagger, transforming it, and light will fill the room. You will find yourself standing on the roof of the building you started at, holding a pure-white feather.

That feather is Object 77 of 538. Protect it at all costs, for its fate is now your own.

## The Holder of The Rails

In any city, in any country, go to any subway station you can get yourself to. This Holder will test your patience, and impatience will get you massacred. Once there, go to the closest officer to you and ask to see the "The Holder of the Rails". Should a look of doubt and fear come over the officer's face, you are in the right place, but if a look of greed and lust come over the officer's face, run out of the station and keep running. You will hear an inhuman sound behind you, like the sound of a rabid dog chasing you, but do not look back, for if you do, the now distorted and gruesome face of the pit fiend the officer has become will send paralyzing fear through your body and you will be caught, raped, and fed upon for the rest of eternity, feeling everything as freshly as the moment it started. Keep running until that sound disappears or until the very act of inhaling feels like it will shred your lungs like so much cheap tissue paper. You will mercifully pass out. When you awaken, the officer will be gone and a new one will be in that officer's place at the station.

If you were in the right place, however, the officer will take you to an elevator. Before the doors open, close your eyes. When you hear a bell, wait 5 seconds, then take 3 steps in. Make a 180 degree spin, and keep your eyes closed. The officer will get on with you and press a button. You will never know what floor you will end up on, so don't fret. The same thing will happen over and over. You will be riding on the elevator for hours, going straight down. You will hear a bell and the doors will open. The officer will say, "Is this where you want to go?" Do not answer, do not open your eyes. After a while, the officer will sigh and the doors will close. You will go down another floor and a buzz will ring out instead of the bell. The officer will say, "End of the line." Take 7 steps out and wait 30 seconds before opening your eyes. You will be in a long, dark hallway with old white, filth-caked walls. Blood will be oozing upward on the walls. Pay it no heed and walk. Walk swiftly, but don't speed walk or run. The demons hiding in the shadows love fast prey, and your scent will slowly drive them wild with hunger.

When you get to the end, there will be a door with no knob. Push it open and you will be standing at the top of an escalator. It seems to go down into endless darkness, but don't let your mind waver and don't let your bravery falter. You've made it this far; there is no turning back. Should you hear a voice urge you to come down, ride the escalator all the way down. It will take you 7 days. If you hear a scream come from behind you, walk down the escalator at a normal walking speed. Count the first 20 steps in an indoor voice. Once you say '20', stop counting, but don't stop walking. You will hear loud footsteps behind you, matching your footsteps, sometimes a bit slower, sometimes a bit faster. Do not slow down, do not speed up, do not look behind you, and do not speak. The footsteps will sound like hard sandals hitting metal and you will become very annoyed. Still, keep your pace and do not falter.

After about 20 minutes of walking, you will reach the platform. The footsteps will end and you will feel a presence right behind you. Turn around to face your follower. If it is a female apparition with a scarf on her head, you are safe for now. If it is a male apparition that stands at least 2 feet taller than you, throw yourself onto the tracks and the train will come instantly and end your life on the spot, which is a fate far more welcoming than what he would intend.

The female will smile at you and lean up to kiss you. Let her. She will thank you for accompanying her down the long escalator ride. At that time, ask her, "Where do I go?" She will gasp and move away and beg you not to continue. She will confess her love for you and wrap her arms around you. Ask her again, with sternness in your voice. "Where do I go?" If she pulls back and pushes you onto the track, pray that the train comes and takes your life before the woman calls forth her small demons. As small as they may be, they will enter your body and eat you from the inside out.

Should she pull away and cry, caress her cheek and tell her you love her softly. She will begin to tell you in a riddle like manner where the last and strongest Holder is. Ask her this, "How will I know when it happens?" When she opens her mouth to answer, the train will come, blowing its horn and awakening all of the demons from your worst nightmares. They will begin stampeding down the escalator, rage flaring in their monstrous eyes. Run as fast as you can to the front car of the train. Those doors will be the only doors that open, and they'll open for anyone. The apparition is in the driver's seat, looking at you with sadness in her eyes. Don't stare into her eyes, for they will enchant you and cause you to forget your mission. The demons will rip you apart slowly and each day, you will heal just for it to happen again.

Reach over the apparition and press the only button. It will make the train move and seal all the doors. Now, it is safe to look at the apparition. Ask her the question again, "How will I know when it happens?" She will begin to blink in and out of existence and finally fade away, smiling. Her spirit is now free. Now, however, the station around you will begin to crumble and the train is speeding out of control. The lights will turn red and a gruesome demonic voice will answer you.

"When the sun shines at night, And the moon lights up the day, When the Devil runs to Heaven, And God hides away, When the plagues return at once, And all of the first born sons die, When thunder flashes and lightning rains, And the Earth becomes the sky, When fire cools and water burns, When clouds surround and the mountains churn, When screams are silent and silence becomes sound, When angels fall from the melting ground, The Legion will arise."

The voice will speak slowly and you must run to the very last car into the control room and pull what looks like a jewel studded lever down. Once you pull it down, pull it out of the panel and you will see it's a dagger. Where the button was in the first control room there will be a heart. Stab the heart and close your eyes. Scream out as loud as you can, "I fight for the souls that were lost in this trial! This motion is for them!" Drag the dagger down the heart and a loud screech will be heard.

Your eyes will open and you will be arriving at the station closest to your home. You will be sitting in a random seat with the dagger in your lap. Since it's illegal to carry weapons on a train, you may want to conceal it as you leave. There will be a red taxi with wings on the door and a horn on the hood. Go to it, put your hand on the handle of the door and close your eyes. Get in, don't speak, don't open your eyes. Count to 10 in your head and open your eyes. You will be on your couch at home. If you look on your nightstand, you will see a picture of yourself and that apparition while she was alive. You two will be in a playful embrace and suddenly, sadness will wash over you. You will suddenly think you have just lost the love of your life, the love you never had. Look at the dagger.

That dagger is Object 78 of 538. It will only pierce one heart - that of its owner. It is now yours, and it's up to you to decide if you will use it.

## The Holder of The Flesh

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house in you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, look around carefully. Look for any workers eating a meal. Look for the one who appears to be full or at least almost done, for asking one who has not eaten may result in you being eaten for lunch. Ask that worker to see "The Holder of the Flesh". In a muffled voice full of food, the worker will point you to a dead cow in the middle of the room that wasn't there before. The cow will be belly up, with a large open gash from neck to crotch. The worker will gesture for you to go inside it.

As you crawl into the dead cow, you will slip inside a tight, fleshy tube, the muscular reflexes beyond the slimy film forcing you along the way. Try to stay in one position, as too much movement may cause you to be ejected from the tube rather violently into a large toothy maw, which will chew on your body until you are nothing but pulp. If you've exited the correct end, you will fall to the floor of an ornate cathedral of bone, flesh and organs. Eyes of many sizes peer at you from many spots. In the back, the floor arches a bit up and down, the wide rib cage holding back massive lungs and a large heart. Inserted into the back wall is a huge glass jar, suspending a gigantic, pulsating brain in fluids. Its long, thick nerves hang like spider webs all around, stretching to the walls beside it and to the ceiling far above.

Without warning, two very large and very long muscular, skinless arms with clawed fingertips emerge from the walls. Both arms will grab you whether you attempt to flee or not. You cannot escape their grasp. The brain will not respond to anything you say or do, except for one question. If you do not or cannot ask your question, you will be torn piece by piece, forced to stay alive and feel every moment of pain, while being reassembled into the fabric of the living cathedral. Never quite dead but never quite alive, unable to scream though you want to badly, you will live as one with the living cathedral for all time. The question you must ask before suffering this cruel fate is, "Why do they despise life?"

Without pause, the brain will then open your skull, painlessly. With but a tiny pinch of itself, it will insert a pinch of itself into yours. You will then realize, in the most thorough detail, every bit and piece of what makes life, life. All of mankind's knowledge, achievements and progress will be rendered completely and utterly useless compared to this. This has driven many quite mad and if you too cannot handle it, you shall share their fate, clawing apart your own brain and scattering your thoughts throughout the cosmos, never to reassemble again. But you must stay focused and calm, for this information is quite possibly the most tightly held secret in all of the known and unknown universes and should never be shared with anyone but a true god, lest you invoke man's early demise.

If you yet still hold resolve, the brain will let you go. Do not dally, as the brain is always tempted to add more flesh to his own. Escape through the way you came in, and as you slide along, you will stop at a dry dead end. You will find yourself under the covers of your own bed, backwards, with your feet on your pillows.

That piece of knowledge is Object 79 of 538. Life is what you make of it, so make it well.

## The Holder of Extravagance

In any city, in any country, go to any sizable school or university you can find. After locating the front desk, walk up to it and ask to see the one known as "The Holder of Extravagance". The attendant will look unfazed, even slightly bored, as though this question has grown so common as to become routine. Tiredly, they will rise and lead you through the halls of the building. You will see many dozens of unboundedly fascinating and eye-catching objects, but do not once stop or slow to examine any of them in closer detail, or the group of supposed students who have been following you will take the opportunity to pounce, and you will never see the outside of the walls again. Instead, stay focused on following the attendant.

Eventually, he will lead you to a door and gesture for you to enter. Do so, and it will shut rather gently behind you. That click you heard was the lock. Don't try to open it - the students mentioned earlier are waiting outside the door should you succeed.

You find yourself in a history classroom, but it's more boring than any other classroom you've ever seen. There are no posters on the gray walls, the shelves are devoid of books, and the desks are bare and minimal. A teacher sits at the front desk, wearing a bland gray outfit, grading papers. The combined effect makes you want to drop off to sleep, but be warned - if you do, the nightmare that you enter will never end. Also, do not interrupt the teacher at her work- she feels overworked for her pay already, and if you bother her she may well snap.

Instead, steel yourself and sit down. Third row from the door, second desk back. Sitting any other place will lead to your demise in the events to follow. A scuffle will be heard outside the door, but do not turn to look in that direction - none of the students wish to be noticed as they walk in, and all of them are already late. Merely keep your gaze directed forward.

Somehow, they all manage to sit down without the teacher noticing, and the lesson begins. It is almost painful in its execution - bare-bones, no-frills teaching. A notebook and pencil have appeared on your desk - quickly begin taking notes, lest the teacher notice and fail you. And you don't want to fail this class, believe me. The facts are so stripped-down they hurt, but never once should you halt or interrupt.

After a while, a test will be announced. Accept it. It appears to be written in a language from another planet, and about places and people you don't think have ever existed. Keep calm, write from your notes for the first few questions. When you reach question four, lightly tap the kid in front of you on the shoulder. Quietly - you don't want the teacher to catch you - ask him, "When was it meant to happen?"

The kid will glance nervously at the teacher, then scribble madly on a piece of paper and pass it back to you. Read it quickly and memorize what it says - the location it details is where the Object is hiding. But the moment you take your eyes off the paper or attempt to move, the teacher will catch you, and all hell will break loose.

The room will suddenly be clothed in the heaviest opulence you have ever seen, and the students and teacher will be revealed in their true forms. These bar description, but know this - they have all the same strengths and weaknesses of the normal human. All across the school, the illusion has been broken, and you're going to have to reach the object - wherever it is - before the students manage to take you down.

The gauntlet's off now. Use whatever methods available to reach the object - violence, murder, deception, nothing is barred and nothing is sacred. There will be no repercussions, but if there were, they'd in no way be worse than what will happen should the students bear you to the floor. Make your way to the location, and the Object will be glaringly obvious among the opulence - a plain brown paper package tied with twine, about the size of a large soup can. A thin paper envelope is tied under the string. Grab it, then locate the nearest bathroom. Battle your way into it, then slam the door. It will lock, and hold, but not for long.

Quickly, slip the envelope from the parcel and throw it into the second stall - it doesn't matter where it lands as long as it's in the walls. The envelope is what draws them, so you want to stall as much as possible. Turn on the hot water in two of the sinks and the cold in the other one. Then, with the door pounding so loud it drills through your head, face the hand-dryers. There's three. Take a deep breath, then slam the button on whichever one you like.

Everything will black out for a bit. If you pressed the wrong button, the blackness will lift only for you to experience what the students are about to do to you. It's never the same, but it's always unbearably painful, and you won't stay sane long enough to witness your demise. If you pressed the correct button, however, you will wake up sprawled on the floor of a bus stop half a mile down the road from the limits of the second-largest city you've ever visited. Sit up, rub your eyes. You're alone here, and for the moment, safe. Unwrap the package - there's a surprising number of layers on it.

Keep unwrapping until you find a layer of green wrapping paper. Stop at this point and look to your left - a cheap lighter is sitting on the bench, along with sufficient bus fare into the city. Grab both, pocket the money, and pile the brown paper and string up. Burn the pile- that last layer of wrapping was there solely to protect the Object from the brown wrapping, and you don't want it in existence when you open it finally.

When the pile is nothing but ash, unwrap the final layer and toss it away. You now hold a strange gold-colored D cell battery. Get up quickly - the bus is coming, and you don't want to look like a total weirdo by sitting on the floor of the stop rather than the bench.

The battery is Object 80 of 538. It will never run out of power, but if put into any device, that device will never run on any other battery save the gold one.