Chapter 63: I Stepped In

**I Stepped In** is the sixty-third Chapter of *Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu*.

## Summary

Ichikawa summarizes the previous chapter as he enters back into the living room, concluding by saying that he has now managed to get his underwear on. Yamada comes out of her room, holding a book and now wearing a bear-themed hoodie. He asks why she changed, and she explains that she got it as a gift from Moe, but hadn't had a chance to wear it, commenting how cute it was. He sits down at the table before the active hotpot, while she flutters nervously around the room. He asks if she's going to sit, and she does so beside him. She talks about how on days where she'll be alone until late, she always makes Onabe, saying how awesome it is. He asks what makes it that way, and she clarifies that lone Onabe is an adult taste. He asks if it's adult, or just lonely, and she scoffs. In response, she asks if they can eat together occasionally. He swiftly changes topics to the book she brought from her room, and after some back-and-forth they look over her Graduation Album. They look at her official picture, a field trip, sports day, and he notes that she's eating in all of the candid ones.

Having finished looking through her pictures, he brings up the piano in the corner of the room, asking if she plays. She says she took lessons for about a year, alongside ballet, English, swimming, and kendou, quitting them all quickly. She comments on how she tried all of those things, but never felt like she had real talent in them. She said whenever the other kids in her classes ended up doing better than her, she would get frustrated and immediately quit. When she did, her parents would make her favorite foods, adding examples to when she didn't make it into private school, and when she hurt her nose. He says that she has good parents, and she agrees, but says that lately she's been scared. She says that she has been blessed to be around so many great people, but that lately she feels like a nuisance, and she fears that one day she'll do something that will make someone truly hate her, and she begins tearing up. She wipes her face, saying she's crying too much lately, and he tries to comfort her by saying he doesn't know how it is with her parents, but if he ever found her annoying, he's the kind of person that would let her know. He tries to continue, but she cuts him off, suddenly bringing up when he didn't talk to her for a few days before Winter Break. She asks if there maybe was a reason for that, and that he claimed he'd be upfront about those sort of things, again starting to cry. She says that she knows he's a kind person, and this is why she got scared. She tries to compose herself, again wiping away her tears, and saying she's being annoying, but he suddenly gets out of his chair and embraces her head with his good arm. She grabs onto his jersey and bawls openly while he apologizes for lying, saying that moment was him being too weak, and how he was afraid of getting hurt and tried to hide inside of his shell. He considers how both he and she didn't want the other to hate them, and again considers how they're alike in that regard. He lets her blow her nose into the sleeve of the jersey that he's wearing, saying it's fine since it's hers.

Later, the hot pot is at a boil, and Yamada, in much higher spirits, pours a generous bowl for Ichikawa. She continues her talk, saying she's been a screw-up since forever, so she doesn't know why she's anxious about it now. She tries to continue, and Ichikawa interrupts, saying she's becoming like an adult, but also adds that being an adult sucks. She laughs, saying that may also be true. He adds that worrying might be a good thing, and adds that he thinks that her parents made her her favorite foods when she failed because they didn't want her to give up completely, or to stop challenging herself. She agrees, smiling and content with his answer. She suddenly realizes that she hasn't checked her phone recently and has gotten several LINE messages. As she reads she says that her mother stopped by the nearby convenience store, and Ichikawa says he'll head home. She adds that she got the message twelve minutes ago, sweating. The two turn in shock as they hear the tumbling of the lock across the room, as her mother tries to come inside from the cold and snow.

## Trivia

Ichikawa seems to take special notice of Yamada failing to make it into private school, as it mirrors his similar failure despite being a intellectually gifted child. He gets a reaction shot and an exclamation bubble between her two speech bubbles to bring attention to it.