Engineer.exe

It was a normal day, after i got home from school I hopped on to play a round of team fortress 2. I joined a casual 2fort match, and surprise surprise, the entire blue team was set up in their intel room. My team was being ultra tryhardy too, doing the best they could, half my team was medics and the other half were brass beast heavys. Obviously a simple spy ruined the entire push, but eventually we got in and took their intel and capped for the last time. I was hoping to play again but most of the people left the lobby and it was about 5 people per team. Something caught my eye in the leaderboards tho, a person on red team by the name of "engineer.exe" I laughed my ass off at the goofy name, and even complimented him, although he didnt respond to it. After a while i realized that the other team was pretty bad. Now i dont want to brag or anything but i'm fairly decent at the game, not a 2k hour pub stomping try hard, but i have been top scoring frequently recently. The engineer was a cakewalk to beat, the stock rocket launcher is a lot better than the original in my opinion because corner peaking is broken, especially when it's just one sentry in the intel room. After i capped for the second time things got a bit weird. for some reason the engineer "engineer.exe" changed to stock. It was weird at first because i knew he had a botkiller wrench but i didnt question it, honestly looking back i should have quit then and there. Bots started joining, I switched to engineer and camped a spot where they couldn't get me and i was able to kill them with my sentry. Obviously I had to be toxic in chat, just in case the guy hosting the shitty bots was watching. Then i saw "engineer.exe joined the game" at the bottom, and i announced that a copy bot joined. One of the guys on the other team said "we got it" and the bot was kicked. Soon after i realized they kicked the wrong engineer.exe, which i brought up in chat, but there was no response. I sighed and went down into Intel to bunker in there. It was 2-0 for the time being and i started to get bored, I was on my phone when i heard the revving of a heavy, my first thought was "fuck a braaaaap bot" as I got shot down I swore, because up until then I was hiding behind a dispenser waiting for the sniper bots to come down, they would shoot the dispenser once, then get shot down by my sentry, so there went my kill streak. If my luck wasn't shit before, it got worse, i got autobalanced. I swore again and looked at the leaderboard, and saw "engineer.exe" playing engineer. I was confused because I knew it was a bot, it had a bot pfp and i got killed by it earlier. When I went down to intel, there he was, he was set up in intel just being a turtle. I ignored it and continued to fuck with the bots. Then a few minutes later it was 2-2. Red team was about to cap too, I said "gg fuckboys" in chat, then the weirdest shit in my life happened, so weird in fact that i almost shit myself. Everyone, the players who stuck around and the bots, left the game. I laughed at first, thinking something might have happened to the server, and so i looked on the leaderboard and it was just me and "engineer.exe" I went down into the intel where he was set up and saw him in there, hitting his sentry over and over again. I did the classic "taunt to killbind" and i got autobalanced again I thought to myself "damn twice fuckin hell" but then to my surprise, the bot typed in chat.

"hello [Insert name here]" I was shocked.

"hello? I thought you were a bot lol"

"Oh I am a bot, but you see I'm not just an ordinary bot"

"Lmao good one bro, hey can you help me with a contract?"

"You'll definitely need help after i cap the last point."

"Ok? lol." I was a bit confused over the whole thing but i came to the conclusion that he was trolling. I switched to soldier to go play offensively, ready for him to switch classes, but he didn't. He rushed intel as engineer. Now i could have easily avoided this whole nightmare if i just set up in my own intel room, he wouldn't have been able to cap, but I was stubborn and remained on soldier. I soon realized he was aimbotting. And before I even typed my 13 different slurs in chat, He answered before me.

"I told you I'm not human, I wouldn't even consider myself a bot, I'm an A.I. created by valve to ruin this game."

"Listen here fucktron, get a fucking life, you're hacking in an 13 year old game" I could have stopped and left with ease, I thought about it, but I was too curious with what he was going to respond with.

"The death of video games are inevitable... but the community of this game is so stubborn... that it is ruining the sales of other valve games... they ran a hypothesis to see if they could do better without tf2, and they've come to the conclusion... team fortress 2 is better off dead, especially if they want to make a new team fortress game on the source 2 engine... so they created an A.I. to create bots and destroy the game, that A.I. is me." I was shocked to say the least.

"Wow that's a pretty good shitpost dude, good shit, but idc what kinda hacks you got, I'm still a better player." I respawned and rocket jumped across the map to meet him in his spawn. Boom one rocket, duck to dodge his bullets, boom another rocket. "Get fucked" I say as i go to take the blue intel.

"Win or lose, you'll still suffer."

"K lol." I grab the intel and see him spawn, I know he knows where I am, so I try to bait him into going to spiral but he soon realizes that I'm not going up that way, and quickly turns around. I meet him in the doorway, *gaben give me strength* boom crocket. I taunt. "Should have capped instead huh dumbass." A few moments later I'm in intel. Victory. He starts spamming shit in the chat, like Hebrew or something, I laugh it off and respond with"gg ez" As i get off for the night I turn around to look at my pc, I see that youtube is open, I'm confused but i play it off. I fall asleep but wake up with to the engineer gaming video playing at full volume, I get up and quickly shut it off, confused I immediately think of the "engineer.exe" guy. I try my hardest to get some sleep. I wake up the next morning to the sound of my alarm, I brush my teeth, have a nice glass of orange juice, get dressed, and hop on my pc. Though I am not greeted by the familiar sight of killer queen from jojo's bizarre adventure holding a pepsi can. Instead it's a disturbing, hyper realistic version of the engineer, all of the images on my pc are of that hyper realistic engineer. I go into my files, all my text documents are replaced, everything is replaced. Except I have one new file, labled "engineer.exe" I click on it because, what else do i have to lose at this point. It was a video, which is odd because .exe means executable program but i digress, it was the engineer gaming video, an engineer named engineer gaming doing the "wooey" taunt. But as the beat to the song dropped, instead of a piercing scream was heard through my mic, it was so loud you would think that my volume was at 100, when it was actually 20. It showed me a picture of the hyper realistic engineer with bloodshot eyes with the caption "Just like every game will die out, every animal will die out, and as the creator of both I shall be the one to do it." I did what any normal human would do, hard reset my pc, keep no files. When it was done I inspected my pc, nothing wrong with it. The first thing i decided to do was draw a mock up of what the hyper realistic engineer looked like and write about my experience. Just as a warning to the people of tf2, if you're seeing this just remember, the bot crisis is about to get a whole lot worse.