A Very Bad Actress/Confessionals

## Day 25

Since Disc seemed to think I knew about the idol, my semi-safety in them seeing me as someone to pull in for a vote when necessary may have evaporated and I could replace Jackson as the target. This time, no idol. If we somehow finish that bridge and the idol is gone I will cry, because it might just be our only shot. I don't want to believe it, but I think it is. I assume that John and Jacob both endeavour to use Caeleb/Lisa to vote one another, or Disc, out of the game once the minority is all but destroyed. Caeleb and Lisa are betting on the wrong horse. Do they realise how important and revered they'd be if they just flipped? They wouldn't be the bottom anymore, but Caeleb is too scared (IF him being the bottom is even true) to flip and Lisa is content to stay around for the ride. Playing with this suddenly solid tribe feels like running into a brick wall again and again and hoping it will work instead of breaking my face. I can't let emotion get in the way. Both cycles, I've thought I had a pretty good plan and it's failed, which as much as I'd love to blame the majority is as much my fault as it is their reluctance to do anything. I need to change something in my social game and strategic game to force a flip here, because whether it's me or someone else tonight, I'm staring down the barrel of a gun. I'm playing Russian Roulette but the gun is in someone else's hands.
Either Caeleb or Jacob flip. I don't think anyone else does.

I HAVE TWO IDOLS TWO OF THEM MY MIND HAS NEVER BEFORE BEEN SEEN THIS WAY MY TALENT HAS EXPLODED YALL WATCH OUT
tbh the only way I got it was because Alyssa gave me the minority guesses I’m so sorry y’all but if we wanna have a shot we need this for us. I love everyone in this game left tbh don’t get me wrong Alyssa is just like the best person ever and I would do anything for her at this point

## Day 27

The merge idol is gone, which might have been my best shot. So now I just have to scramble, because Caeleb's best shot to win this game is to flip now. If he does later, he's going up against John because everyone keeps John and then he loses against John, easy. It's the nature of Survivor that players will go against their own best interests in the name of safety and friendship because that is just how social game works, but I didn't expect it to be so prevalent after the early merge. My relationship with Rob and my attempt to cause strife in the majority were big mistakes in my game and I have to try and repair that damage. I just don't think it's possible. If anyone from the majority is going to flip, it won't be right now since they seem content to shoot themselves in the foot.
I have to convince Caeleb that working with the power bottoms is his best shot. I also plan to keep communication with Disc and Jacob open, simply to get an idea of where they're at and look for a last chance opening. If Caeleb and I can't see eye to eye, I'm in trouble. Right now, looks like one of the majority will only flip when pigs fly.

There's not a vote in heaven That we can't receive If we're trying So we're goin homeeee -Troy Bolton, not a lie It looks like no one is going to flip, which means my only option is to hope that it doesn't land on me. It doesn't look god, but maybe everyone avoiding me is because they'd have to lie, not because it's me. :))))))
My plan right now is pretty much to keep kinda nudging Caeleb whenever possible without being overbearing. I don't think he's as on the bottom as he says, I still think he + Jacob are tight, but he also suggested Lisa or Jacob and it's our best shot because no one else is going to flip. I've been trying Disc, nothing. Jacob won't even talk about the vote with me.

If elise goes literally oh well. I love her she's a social queen and she's playing amazing but that could be good for my game. but if instead the votes are actually on Alyssa then boom my single vote for Lisa will send her home. I can't believe its come to this. But I like it and I think its smart and I don't have the energy to understand too much aldkjfalsdbnvl;kasjdfasif okay bye

I expected it, but I still hate it. My life in this game literally hangs on Caeleb. He said he wanted to work with me and wouldn't vote for me, but he also hasn't told me my name is out there directly. Tricky, tricky stuff.
I do believe, for the first time not due to over-thinking and anxiety, that I am being voted out tonight. 1 hour to go!