Suicide Squad Pitch Meeting

* Main
* Transcript

**Suicide Squad Pitch Meeting** is the seventeenth episode of the Pitch Meeting series on Screen Rant.

## Description

When some guy says "hey, I wonder what would happen if Superman decided to rip the roof off the Oval Office and kidnap the president - I wonder who would stop him," the solution is super easy, barely an inconvenience. Amanda Waller realizes the only way to stop that from happening is to assemble a team comprised of a crazy lady wielding a baseball bat, a dude who's good with guns, a guy who can shoot fire but doesn't wanna, an alcoholic Australian with a stick, a reptile, and also a witch who does weird things with her hips. In other words, a Suicide Squad.

## Cast

* Producer Guy - Ryan George
* Screenwriter Guy - Ryan George

**Producer Guy:** So, you have a new comic book movie script for me.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yes sir I do, it's called *Suicide Squad*.

**Producer Guy:** Sounds dark. What's it about?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well first off there's a guy who's like "Hey, what if Superman had decided to rip the roof off of the Oval Office and fly away with the president? Who woulda stopped him?".

**Producer Guy:** Oh, that sounds like it's gonna be a tough question to answer.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Nope, super easy, barely an inconvenience actually.

**Producer Guy:** Oh really?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well this woman Amanda Waller realizes the only way to stop that from happening is to form a team comprised of a crazy lady with a baseball bat, a dude who's good with guns, a guy who can shoot fire but doesn't wanna, an alcoholic Australian with a stick, a reptile, and also a witch who does weird things with her hips.

**Producer Guy:** What kind of things?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Like if you tried to take your pants off without using your hands, it would probably look something like this.

**Producer Guy:** Wow, so this is like a lot of characters to introduce.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, but I figure we could just freeze on them for a few seconds each and throw a bunch of text on the screen.

**Producer Guy:** And people and gonna have time to read all that?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well I guess when people watch it at home they can hit pause and read it.

**Producer Guy:** What about the people that paid to see it in theaters?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh well they'll just have to deal with… you know, not having character development.

**Producer Guy:** Fair enough, and so the idea is that these people would be able to stop Superman from stealing the president?

**Screenwriter Guy:** That's what we're going with.

**Producer Guy:** Okay, well sounds like an interesting group of heroes.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh no, they're all incarcerated criminals.

**Producer Guy:** What?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, Amanda Waller has to force them all to join the team by putting tiny bombs in their necks.

**Producer Guy:** Why would she want a team of bad guys? Are all the heroes dead or something?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, actually Batman and the Flash have cameos.

**Producer Guy:** Oh so they like show up and help the Suicide Squad once they turn good?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, they're the ones who put the Suicide Squad in jail.

**Producer Guy:** Okay, I'm- I'm- I'm a little confused.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well part of the concept is that the government will use them for covert missions and if something goes wrong they just blame everything on the Suicide Squad.

**Producer Guy:** Ohh, okay, I gotcha. So- So what do they go up against in the movie?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well the witch, Enchantress, goes rogue, and so she makes a giant doomsday sky beam and she also has an army of zombies with blackberries for heads.

**Producer Guy:** And Enchantress is part of the Suicide Squad?

**Screenwriter Guy:** That's right.

**Producer Guy:** So it really is the fault of the bad guys; they don't even have to pretend.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well technically the witch isn't a bad guy, she's just an archaeologist that got possessed by a spirit.

**Producer Guy:** So if they don't manage to stop the magic archaeologist, she's gonna destroy the world.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Right.

**Producer Guy:** And so if that happens, the government will be like "Well don't look at us, this was all the work of a lady with a baseball bat and a guy with a gun, and a reptile, and a fire guy".

**Screenwriter Guy:** And an Australian alcoholic.

**Producer Guy:** Right, with the stick. Okay, um. Any other characters I should know about?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well there's the Joker.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, the Joker is in this?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah he is but this isn't your typical Joker.

**Producer Guy:** How so?

**Screenwriter Guy:** He's got like slick-back hair and he wears expensive clothes and he likes clubbing.

**Producer Guy:** So he's like… a douchebag.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Exactly! But he's not just a douchebag, you know. He's also very damaged.

**Producer Guy:** How are we gonna get that across?

**Screenwriter Guy:** We're gonna tattoo the word "Damaged" on his forehead.

**Producer Guy:** That'll do it.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah he actually has a lot of clever tattoos like that.

**Producer Guy:** What are some of the other ones?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well he's got like a laughing mouth on his hand.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, because he's the Joker.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Right, and he also has a Joker skull on his chest.

**Producer Guy:** Okay, yeah, because he's the Joker.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, and he has the word "JOKER" written on his stomach.

**Producer Guy:** That makes a lot of sense because he's the Joker.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah and on his chest and arms he has also has like "HAHAHAHA" "HAHAHA" "HAHAHAHA" "HA" "HAHAHA".

**Producer Guy:** Yeahyeahyeahyeah, because he's the Joker.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh. Yeah. No yeah, I hadn't thought of that, but that- Yeah, that also works that way.

**Producer Guy:** Very cool. So what's his role in the movie?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh, he's like barely gonna be in it.

**Producer Guy:** Oh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah he's just gonna kinda show up once in a while like "Hey everyone, look how crazy I am, woooahh".

**Producer Guy:** Okay, interesting.

**Screenwriter Guy:** And then during the big mission he's gonna help Harley Quinn escape in a helicopter.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, well that's important.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah but it's not gonna work and the chopper's gonna crash and explode, almost immediately.

**Producer Guy:** Okay so he really has no effect on the plot whatsoever.

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, you could cut him out and the plot would be exactly the same.

**Producer Guy:** Well I guess killing the Joker in a helicopter crash is gonna be a big surprise.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh, he's not gonna die.

**Producer Guy:** Really? He's gonna survive a helicopter crash?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, helicopter crashes in this movie aren't really a big deal.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, they're not lethal?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, not at all. It's actually kinda just how people get to the ground.

**Producer Guy:** Wow. So, how does the movie end?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well the squad have to kill Enchantress but first they have to fight her brother who's like… a thing. So Fire Guy is like "Good news everyone, I'm secretly a *Big* Fire Guy".

**Producer Guy:** That's a good twist.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah so Big Fire Guy lures Witch Brother into a corner where an army guy is gonna blow them all up.

**Producer Guy:** Wow but I guess an explosion wouldn't hurt the Big Fire Guy.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh, yeah, no, he dies.

**Producer Guy:** Oh really?

**Screenwriter Guy:** So everyone in the Squad is like "Oh no, Fire Guy!".

**Producer Guy:** Nobody cares about the army guy sacrificing himself too?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Not even a little.

**Producer Guy:** That's cold.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah so then they kill Enchantress, they go back to jail… and that's it.

**Producer Guy:** That's it?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yep. So, what do you think?

**Producer Guy:** Well the only part that feels a little weird to me is the fact that the Joker is in the movie but he's not the main villain.

**Screenwriter Guy:** *[confused]* Okay…

**Producer Guy:** So I just wanna double-check, you're absolutely sure that that's the right way to go about this?

**Screenwriter Guy:** One hundred percent, I will stand by that decision till the day I die.

**Producer Guy:** Well then, let's do it.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Great.

*[cut to headline: **Suicide Squad Director Regrets Not Making Joker The Main Villain**]*