S01E05: The Suggestion Tube with "Drunk Mom" Marla Nuvaring (Jennie Pierson)

**Synopsis**

In this episode, the teachers take some questions, comments, and suggestions from their ill conceived suggestion box, which they've affectionately named The Suggestion Tube. Later, they're joined by their guest, Marla Nuvaring (Jennie Pierson), to discuss everything from Menopause: The Musical, to riding bears.

#### **Notes**

##### **Bill Cravy**

* Bill’s basketball team won the first game of the season by 60 points after Bethany Hart took over as coach.
* Bill revealed that he typically urinates from the top of a ladder.

##### **Howard Levi's**

* Howard has purchased a new house, which has been certified by Guinness World Records as the largest house in America. While Guinness were at Howard’s house he was also awarded the world record for stinkiest bathroom, shortest backyard grass, and meanest to Guinness employees.
* As part of his mayoral campaign, Howard participated in a debate with the incumbent mayor’s wife. The mayor showed up to the debate but Howard made sure that security would not allow him on the stage. Howard wanted to debate The Mayor's Wife as she is next in line for the mayorship should the mayor die. Howard screamed at the mayor’s wife for the entire debate.
* Howard has a dachshund as his running mate in his mayoral campaign. This dachshund is Sadie the Dachshund's Son. The dachshund is a runt with its intestines outside of its body and an inguinal hernia.
* Howard is currently ahead in the polls. His popularity appears to be based on the town’s admiration for his inherited wealth and his willingness to yell at anyone.
* Howard revealed that he is unable to achieve a state of arousal, having previously had his libido 'chemically killed'.

##### **Todd Padre**

* Todd revealed that he is now living in the teacher’s lounge.
* Todd revealed that he sleeps in a shower cap because, at night, he often attempts to drink water from a large pitcher he keeps next to his bed. In his sleepy state he spills the majority over himself. The shower cap prevents him from having to go back to sleep with wet hair. This system does not, though, protect the rest of his body, which typically receives a nightly soaking.
* Todd and Bill Cravy’s alter ego Bethany Hart have fallen in Love and have gone on two dates together. On Todd and Bethany’s second date, Todd attempted to show Bethany off to his ex wife. This caused Todd to break the 25 foot restraining order that his ex wife has in place against him.
* Todd was publicly stoned in the town square by his ex wife’s new 17-year-old lover. This was enthusiastically received by the townspeople.
* Todd tortured his daughter in order to get information out of her for his one man play. The torture consisted of placing his daughter in a well-lit room, filling it with cigarette smoke and blasting 'Toxicity' by System of a Down for 10 hours. It is unclear what, if any, information was yielded from the torture. Todd’s daughter is asset rich but cash poor.
* Todd revealed that he is producing a documentary entitled ‘Finding the Wemberlys’.
* Todd revealed that he is a lung cancer survivor.
* Todd revealed that he typically lays down to urinate, making a puddle on the bathroom floor.

##### **Sam Weatherman**

* Sam has trademarked the name ‘Crazy Limousines’ for his limo company. A local news programme ran a story about him entitled ‘Crazy man crashes in a crazy fashion’. Believing all publicity to be good publicity, Sam embraced craziness in his company’s branding and corporate messaging. Sam no longer has any teaching responsibilities at Hamilton High - although he still gets paid as everyone felt bad for him - so he is now driving and crashing limousines full time.
* Crazy Limousines has loose popcorn in the back of their cars.

##### **Marla Nuvaring**

* Marla is a mother of 18 children at Hamilton High. The children are the result of multiple contraceptive failures.
* During the show, Marla is drinking a mixture of vodka, grapefruit juice, epsom salt and saline solution, a drink known as a ‘salty greyhound’.
* Marla is known on campus as ‘drunk mom’.
* Marla owns a Toyota Prius but does not drive it as she likes to waste gasoline. Marla owns multiple vehicles that run continuously in order to needlessly use fuel. For transport, she rides on the back of her 8-year-old son or sometimes on one of her bears.
* Marla owns a bear that she walks around the town. The bear’s diet is mainly Laveefee Nuvaring’s (Marla’s daughter) steak hair. Marla has a second bear named Llama; Llama eats cans.
* While performing fellatio, Marla typically chews on the penis, sometimes eating it.
* Marla’s husband (Bill Nuvaring) has a testicle missing due to Marla accidentally chewing it off, having mistook it for a donut hole.

##### **General**

* The theme for the prom was announced as ‘This is Gay’. 'This is Gay' won due to the large number of write-in votes.
* The schools new mascot, ‘This is Gay’, was unveiled at the basketball game. The mascot is a beautiful 27-year-old gay man from a nearby city who is paid a full salary.
* The 17-year-old basketball player who is now living with Todd’s ex wife is an ‘opposite Jesus’ who gives people leprosy.
* Miss Holloway is in a coma after she was stampeded in a rush for prom tickets.
* Mayor Perry the Dachshund served Hamilton for 6 years. He inherited the office from the previous occupant when the mayor and his entire family were killed in a plane crash. The line of succession decreed that Perry, the family pet, assume the position. Perry was the first mayor to competently handle Hamilton's finances, investing wisely in pets.com.

#### **Segments**

##### The Suggestion Tube

* Suggestion 1, for ‘Lunch Lady Hart’: “I’ve noticed lately that there has been a lot of beard hair in the pizza. Is there a way to not do that?”
* Suggestion 2, for Todd Padre: “Todd, anonymous tip. I think I’ve seen the Wemberlys in the creek. Also, did you know that they’ve been chipped? A local vet has their location for a price.”
* Suggestion 3, for Sam Weatherman: “Mr Weatherman crashed a limo into my restaurant and just left it there. Can you tell him to call me?”
* Suggestion 3, for Howard Levi's: “Mr Levi's, in your biology class could you stop showing us body parts of yours when you talk about them in the text book?”

#### **Characters Mentioned**

* Bill Nuvaring
* Dr. Beef
* Juan-Carlos Nuvaring
* Kenny Flipman
* Laveefee Nuvaring
* Leslie Padre
* Leslie Padre's Boyfriend
* Mary Padre
* The Mayor of Hamilton
* Mayor Perry the Dachshund
* The Mayor's Wife
* Miss Holloway
* Mr. Ronald
* Nuvaring Son (with French Fry Armpits)
* Nuvaring Son (with Hamburger Mustache)
* Sadie the Dachshund's Son
* This Is Gay
* The Wemberlys

#### **Quotes**

* INPUT TEXT

* Next episode
* Previous episode
* Back to Season 1