Jason Gongsun

Anyone who thinks he is dumb

Anyone who suffers a stroke

**Jason Gongsun** is the extreme definition of the florida man.

## **History**

### **2006**

**Jason**, known for being the last surviving member of the mythical chinese dynasty of Xia, he have beaten up a person with a pencil, and have spend 1 year in prison for assaulting a person. During his time there, he have successfully got a tattoo on his left arm, saying 疯. Not long after that, he was officially considered a cool and not to be fooled with person, despite looking like a stick in terms of muscle mass. Due to him looking weak, he was attack, and he have attacked back, with his nails, that he bit off, and successfully have defended himself, however his years were extended to 5, for assaulting an inmate. However, as he was brutal, he was smart, but he unknowingly hid his intelligence. Thanks to it, he have bought himself out of prison, except that he had to stay in for the rest of the year, which he did.

### **2007**

**Jason**, after being released, he immediately went to a shop, during the way, he have blown up a house, but have prevented the family dog from exploding, by temporarily kidnapping it, then bringing it back to the house. Not long after that, he have slapped Maria Washington, State Governor Wilhelm Naiskohk and the president Roger Grant on the face, as their existence weren't meeting his standards of existence, and was disturbed by them. After he finished shopping, he have led a 5 hour chase inside the shop, by paying off several employees to turn the shop into a maze, while being unnoticed. When **Jason** was spotted last time, he jumped out of the window, and briefly escaped, with getting minor injuries that the average people didn't care about. However, he was invited to a wedding of a friend of his, which he attended. On the wedding, there were 40 people attending, but were interrupted by 5 other people shooting at many people. **Jason** have drove after those specific 5 people and have forced them to get out of their vehicle, then had beaten them to death with a Nokia 3310. Upon returning to the wedding, he seen that everyone was fine, and even had the chance to talk with Catherine Rowland, his future wife.

### **2008**

**Jason** have graduated from university, getting PhD from Agriculture, Computer Science and Psychology. After that, he have violated the law by drinking alcohol, but have prevented his arrest, by punching the police officer's face against a block of cheese. The next day, he was chased by a crocodile, he have ran inside zoo, grabbed a lion and scared off the crocodile, then have returned the lion to the zoo, then have beaten the crocodile to death. After this, he was almost arrested, if it weren't for oil barrels falling from the sky, thanks to an explosion in a nearby oil mine. This gave him a negative reputation in Florida, as he was dangerous, unpredictable and was unusual. He was stabbed in the back by plotters, but survived, by glueing the bible to his back, making the wound's existence difficult, and have chased down the plotters and have thrown them into the river, because of their disturbing existence, and the crimes they have committed against **Jason**.

### **2009**

**Jason** have hit hole-in-one with a 266 kilograms indian immigrant while playing golf, was arrested by police, but got out early. When he ate in a restaurant, he went to vomit, and complained to the manager that the restaurant should not serve mexican people, as cannibalism is disgusting and should not be legal. Due to the manager didn't liked **Jason**'s demands, **Jason** have attacked everyone in the restaurant with a nightstick he have stolen from a bank and have promised that he will never eat again in this restaurant. To clear his sins, he began praying in the church, until he found out that one of the local priests were molesting children. A few seconds later, the priest were choked to death, because **Jason** doesn't like child molesters. Due to this, the floridian people had mixed feelings of him, due to his general insanity, but at the same time, he did good things.

### **2010**

**Jason** married Catherine Rowland, a similarly crazy person. However, after the wedding, **Jason** have once again was thinking about slapping some people for their idiot decision making and their existence. The returning example was Maria Washington, as **Jason** had an extreme hatred towards her for unknown reasons that no one knew, as the man himself never spoke about it. However, after conceiving a child inside a washing machine, he have decided to do some criminal stuff. Thanks to this decision, he have robbed a bank for a dollar, due to he wanted to buy some drugs for a dollar, ripping dealers off. He have successfully, did, however he did get into conflict with Oro Nero, but both have failed to kill each other, but have forgot about each other quickly as well. After this, he have successfully sold 1 bottle of beer for 3000 dollars, was arrested for selling something overpriced. Not long after this, he received the news of his son, Dwayne Gongsun being born.

### **2011**

After escaping prison, **Jason** have heard the news that the kracatoans were evil, and they censor the news extremely, but they have failed to detect this one, but will be detected. He haven't cared, as he still had his hatred towards other people, and had no time to focus on politics. But thanks to him escaping prison, the police was looking for him, so he had to commit as much crime as possible before eventually returning to prison, if he ever returns. When he was chasen by 12 police cars, he have destroyed 156 mailboxes, 41 people's childhood, 5014 people and 25 houses, but the police still failed to capture him. He have finally found a rocket launcher, with he have respectively destroyed the police cars, to gain some time to escape from the incoming police. He have asked his friend to take a video of him, him shouting "I'm above the law", while standing at the top of the local police station. He have posted it on Facebook, making several people laugh, and disgust several police officers, but most importantly, pissing off the government. After that, he have returned to his home to relax for a while as he have humiliated the local government. During his time at home, he have taught his son about general relativity, which his son, Dwayne Gongsun have quickly learned.

### **2012**

**Jason** have solved a 5000 year old math problem, refuses to get money prize after he have robbed a bank. Many people began speculating that is Albert Einstein was truly the world's smartest person, or it was **Jason**, who also have a similarly big brain, but with some insanity and mental problems. This didn't stopped him from robbing another bank, was covered by the government as a terrorist attack, but many witnesses have refused to think it was, as **Jason** was wearing a box to not get recognized. It was effective and hilarious at the same time. When he was talking with a catholic friend of his that said a good joke, he called his friend Pope Hilarius, and a huge laughing burst could be heard in the 10 neighbouring houses. After this, he have blown up those houses that complained about the laughter of his and his friend's laugh. After that, he have escaped the scene to avoid going to prison, and this was the moment when the kracatoans took notice of **Jason** and his craziness. They have made many attempts at hiring him to the military, but everytime, their offer was refused. This is when Barval Zortover, a former journalist have decided to assassinate **Jason**, for existing wrongfully. This plan completely backfired, when **Jason** have presented the skull of Barval upon his last meeting with the kracatoans, and everyone in shock have exited the building, but were killed by **Jason**, due to his newly found hatred towards kracatoans. After this, he have drowned a person in a cup of water. After this, he was arrested, and have shipped to Siberia, due to no american prison were capable of holding him.

### **2013**

**Jason**, now in Siberia, was kept under a close eye, to avoid any unusual incidents like he had back in the US. At one time, one kracatoan soldier pointed a gun at him, but **Jason** deformed the barrel and the kracatoan soldier shot himself, due to the hugely deformed barrel. After this, **Jason** have killed the other kracatoan soldier guarding the place he was supposed to be inside, but now that no one had to guard him, he was free to go wherever he wanted. He have travelled to Sweden under the fake name of "Fankuk Kossa", where authorities questioned his strange name origins, only for them to be stabbed by pineapples. After this, **Jason** have began to write posts across multiple websites that why 2013 is not the best year humanity have ever seen. Many people hated him, as the majority of everyone regarded 2013 the best year humanity ever seen. **Jason** was correct, but no one regarded him correct, and was publicly hated for this, until he have started to hunt down those that were against his opinion. Many other people neutral about the matter have took notice, and were fully aware that **Jason** is truly an insane person. Many videos were produced about this. Thanks to this, **Jason** have went to a psychologist that have said he is borderline psychopath, only for the psychologist to be brutally murdered by a phone. As he got bored of being too evil, he became even more evil by choking someone to death while making them drink milk.