2021 Power Rankings-Week 14

## Introduction

It's been a weird season. In some ways, it's been weirder than 2020's COVID year. For one, we're still dealing with COVID this season and if anything it appears to be ramping up just in time for fantasy playoffs. Then, add in the 14th game. Add in all the fucking players going on IR. Add in Pat tanking by like week four. Add in Stupid Idiots finally being good for a whole year without fucking it up (TBD though on that one). The Patriots rebirth. The strange case of the Houston Texans. The Cardinals in 1st/the Seahawks in last. RIPDab has scored over 250 and lost. He's scored under 170 and won. It's been a weird year.

And that's reflected in a week 14 slate that two weeks ago looked like an all-timer. But now, games are so intertwined in each other's results that there's no way to really pinpoint where the drama will be until the games get underway.

## Season Finale Through the Ages

Let's take a look back at some of the most memorable week 13 showdowns before heading into our first ever week 14.

### 2011 - A Legend is Born

At 6-6, Papa needed a win *and* a loss by either GBM or Brak and Yellow to make playoffs. Meanwhile, Pain Train (9-3) was facing RIPDab (9-3). The winner was getting a bye, the loser was playing in the quarterfinals. Let's take a look at the results:

7th > 2nd
 Papa's Posse

9th > 5th
 bob's bananas

With those two results, Papa jumped from 7th to 6th and Brak and Yellow fell from 5th to 7th. Papa would go on to win the Glory Bowl by defeating Duck Punchers again. Meanwhile...

1st > 3rd
 RIPDab

Tied for first heading into the week, Pain Train is defeated handily by RIPdab and is forced into the 3-seed, where they would lose in the opening round to none other than Papa's Posse.

### 2012 - First 6-7 Team Ever Clinches Playoff Berth in Upset Victory

Pain Train (4-8, 7th) almost became the first and only 5-8 team to make the playoffs. They needed a win and a loss by Why am I doing this (5-7, 6th). In one of the most surprising performances and playoff berths in history, "Why am I doing this" upset the soon-to-be Glory Bowl II champion MMMS (9-3) in week 13, knocking Pain Train into the consolation tourney. Pain Train had outscored WAIDT on the season by close to 400 points.

6th > 2nd
 Why am I doing this

### 2013 - Pain Train Takes Down the Momma Dynasty

All six playoff spots were decided by week 13, with 6th place IAMGROOT (6-6) two games ahead of 7th place Paddock 9 (4-8). But at the top of the standings, a powerhouse showdown determined the 2-seed in the league. Defending champion momma (9-3) took on Pain Train (8-4), with the winner getting a first round bye and the loser forced to play in the quarterfinals.

3rd > 2nd
 Pain Train WOO WOO

With an absolute beatdown of MMMS, PT won the bye spot while momma would go on to defeat IAMGROOT in the quarterfinals, only to be taken down again by Pain Train in the semifinals. Pain Train single-handedly vanquished the potential momma dynasty that year.

### 2014 - IAMGROOT Clinches by Less than 1 Point

Paddock 9 (5-7, 7th) was in a race against IAMGROOT (6-6, 6th) yet again. This time, Paddock needed a win against momma (10-2, 1st) and a Groot loss against Sweet Dee (2-10, 10th) and they would be in. The odds were stacked against them and these two games proved to be the most close, exciting showdowns to determine a playoff spot...ever.

7th > 1st
 Paddock 9

6th > 10th
 IAMGROOT

IAMGROOT makes the playoffs by less than 1 point. Despite the victory, Paddock 9 finished in 7th, a game back. They still managed to unseat momma from the 1-seed, which was taken by Duck punchers. DP went on to defeat momma in Glory Bowl IV.

### 2015 - History Repeats Itself: Papa & Duck Play Win-or-Go-Home

The storied rivalry continues for Papa and Duck, two of the first four champions in the LOC.

Duck (5-7, 7th) owned the points tie-breaker with Papa's Posse (6-6, 6th). The two faced off in week 13, with the winner guaranteed a playoff spot and the loser guaranteed the Consolation Tournament. It is one of the few pure win-or-go-home games we have ever seen in week 13.

Papa took care of business and sent the defending champion packing.

6th > 7th
 Papa's Posse

This would be the first (and still only) time that Duck Punchers missed the playoffs, though their legacy still has not completely recovered.

### 2017 - Three Teams, Two Spots.

This year's race for the Festival of Champions did not disappoint. Garoppoblow Me (5-7, 7th) was in a tight race all season with ma ma momma said (6-6, 6th) and now the two teams would go head-to-head, with the winner punching their ticket to the big dance. Meanwhile, Paddock 9 (6-6, 5th), was at risk of falling into 7th if they lost and got outscored by momma (momma was only 8 points behind them for the point tie-break).

7th > 6th
 Garoppoblow Me

5th > 4th
 Paddock 9

Momma was sent, once again, into the consolation tournament. P9 and PT faced off again in the quarterfinals, where Pain Train won the rematch. GBM made it to the semis, where they were curb-stomped by Glory Bowl VII champion, The Shotti Bunch.

And as we have seen, defending Glory Bowl champions do not fair well in bubble games...

### 2018 - The Death of a Dynasty

The Shotti Bunch (6-6, 7th) faced Duck Punchers (6-6, 5th), with the winner automatically in. Sweet Dee (6-6, 6th) was also guaranteed entry into the Festival of Champions if they could win against Papa's Posse (3rd, 8-4), but also gets in if they could retain season scoring leads over the loser of the TSB vs. DUCK mega-match.

Papa wouldn't even consider throwing the match to help block one of the two former champions. They had an outside shot at a bye spot, if Pain Train (9-3, 2nd) were to fall to rival Paddock 9 (7-5, 4th).

5th > 7th
 Duck Punchers

3rd > 6th
 Papa's Posse

2nd > 4th
 Pain Train

Sweet Dee lost week 13, but caught a break when Duck defeated Shotti on a garbage time 40+ yard completion from Tom Brady to James White. With both Shotti and Sweet Dee losing, it came down to a score tie-breaker. Sweet Dee had the edge by over 100 points, so for the second time in LOC history, Dee clinched the 6-seed as a sub-.500 team. Duck, with their victory, had helped decide the 2018 Glory Bowl champion. Had they lost, they would have been 6-7 but owned the tie-breaker over 6-7 Sweet Dee. They'd have been the 6th seed, with Shotti as the 5th and Dee eliminated. Instead, that one play to James White got Dee into the tournament. And the rest is history, with Dee winning the Glory Bowl over Pain Train. This week 13 marked the end of the league's biggest dynasty. The Shotti Bunch's shocking fall from grace after three straight Glory Bowls changed the history of the league forever.

### 2019 - Deja Vu All Over Again

If 2018 ended the greatest post-season stretch of dominance, 2019 ended the greatest regular season stretch of dominance (and also the greatest regular season stretch of sucking).

Ma ma momma said (8th seed) went up against GBM (6th seed) for the final playoff spot.

GBM had won 5 of their last 7 heading into the final two weeks of the season and just needed to beat either the 5-6 Stupid Idiots in week 12 or the 5-7 momma in week 13.

After falling to Stupid Idiots, GBM entered worst case scenario territory...

Momma owned the points tie-breaker by 2 points. If Momma won, they would be tied with GBM in the standings at 6-6 but have the edge in points. It would eliminate GBM and launch Momma back into the Festival.

Meanwhile, RIPDab (5-7) could also make the playoffs. They needed to win and hope for a GBM loss. That would create a 3-way tie at 6-7 between RIP, GBM, and MMS. RIP owned the tie-breaker in points over both teams and would have finished 6th. But their opponent that week was first place Duck (9-3) who would clinch the Commissioner's Cup with a win.

8th > 6th
 ma ma momma said

1st > 7th
 Duck Punchers

They were two of the biggest choke jobs in week 13 history. For GBM, his second lowest score of the season. For RIPDab, the lowest score of the season in the entire league. GBM's streak of top-four finishes was snapped at four seasons, while MMMS made playoffs for the first time since losing the Glory Bowl in 2015. Duck won his third Commissioner's Cup. Paddock 9, a dark horse in 2019, would end up winning their first championship.

### 2020 - Bad Teams Spoil the Bunch

2020 was as much about the playoff contenders as it was about the Consolation Tournament teams.

Garoppoblow Me (2-10) had won just two regular season games after their crushing loss to Momma (7-5) in 2019, but came into their week 13 matchup with a thirst for revenge. If they could win, MMMS might become the first 7-win team to miss the playoffs.

The Stupid Idiots (6-6) was up against a bitter Papa's Posse (5-7) who happened to be the second-hottest team in the league. Idiots needed a win and a Momma loss to clinch the playoffs. Papa would be more than happy to finish 6-7.

Meanwhile, the two previous Glory Bowl champions went at it for a shot at the bye. Sweet Dee (8-4) and P9 (9-3) were having their best regular seasons ever and looking to be the 2nd team to win multiple championships. The loser of that matchup was still in the playoffs, but risked losing the bye to the winner of RIPDab (7-5) vs. Pain Train (7-5).

It was a rare season where all five games mattered one way or another. And thanks to COVID, this was the week where we had two Monday night games AND A TUESDAY GAME.

9th > 6th
 Garoppoblow Me

With GBM's dominant win, the door was opened for momma to miss out on playoffs. And Stupid Idiots walked right through that door.

7th > 8th
 The Stupid Idiots

The crazy close finish between Idiots and Papa ensured that momma was the first seven win team to miss the playoffs, while Idiots finished with their best record ever.

But the bye was still to be determined.

1st > 2nd
 Paddock 9

Greg Zuerlein missed THREE field goals for Sweet Dee, any one of which would have been enough to put Dee over the top. Instead, she lost by less than four.

With that win, Paddock 9 won the Commissioner's Cup for the first time and Sweet Dee was forced into a quarterfinals game (where she lost).

5th > 4th
 RIPDab

Dab won by less than a point when Zeke caught a garbage time pass that re-took the lead in a Cowboys/Ravens game that also featured Pain Train's kicker Justin Tucker. Tucker had missed a kick earlier in the game that could have won it for Pain Train, who still had a shot if Dallas could get a RZ stop with minutes remaining. Alas, they gave up a Gus Edwards TD and Tucker kicked a measely one-point try instead of a 4-point go ahead FG.

Any chance that Duck had of getting the bye went out the window when 2-11 Shotti beat them by over 100 points.

All in all, a week that came out of nowhere as one of the most fantastic finishes in LOC history.

### 2021 - To Be (a dramatic finish) or Not to Be (a dramatic finish)

Obviously, the big one this year is RIPDab vs. Shotti Bunch. Winner is automatically in and it doesn't matter how much they score. But if Papa's Posse pulls an upset against Duck Punchers and does so with a high score, things could get interesting for the loser of Dab vs. Shotti. Papa is within striking distance of both on the scoreboard. If Papa gets down early, all the mystery and tension will get sucked into the vacuum of space. RIPDab and Shotti can both get in no matter what if Papa loses. There is still a fight for seeding, and the winner could get as high as 3rd place. If Shotti wins and Idiots, Duck, and Mattness all lose, and Shotti outscores Idiots by 86 points, he actually could get a bye. But let's not get too carried away.

Then, of course, there's the annual momma vs. Mattness finale that has basically become a tradition in the LOC. Momma is looking to clinch the top seed in the league, but there's a weird outside chance Mattness could get the two seed if both Duck and Idiots lose.
And then you have Paddock 9 and Sweet Dee, a perfectly scheduled game between the 9th and 10th place teams that has no significance to anyone anywhere.

So it could be a great week, it could just be the odd extra week we all were forced to play to get to the first round of the playoffs. Only time will tell.

## Who's Hot, Who's Not?

Just as a reminder: charts are color-coded on the website but only if you read on your computer. Nothing has color on mobile.

Scoring Over Last Three Weeks
 ma ma momma said
 Papa's Posse
 Pain Train
 The Stupid Idiots
 Duck Punchers
 The Shotti Bunch
 Sweet Dee
 RIPDab
 Paddock 9

Even with the win, RIPDab is ranked bottom two and hasn't broken 200 points since week 7. The fact that they've gone .500 is a small miracle.

At the top, Mattness has heated up at just the right time. It's almost guaranteed that they will disappoint in the playoffs based off the high level of play they've been able to get out of their team in November/December.

## Matchup Recap

* Ma ma momma said wins a monster showdown against The Stupid Idiots, all but clinching a bye in the process (5-5). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* RIPDab wins the season series against Duck Punchers with a narrow victory in the biggest game of their 2021 campaign (9-7). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Shotti Bunch maintains control of their own destiny by taking care of business against the listless Paddock 9 (10-5). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train plays spoiler in a pounding of Papa's Posse (11-8). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Multiverse of Mattness clinches a playoff berth and snaps a three-game losing streak against Sweet Dee in the process (6-8). **Next Matchup: 2022**

## Stat Chat

* Ma ma momma said becomes the 1st team to break 3,000 points since 2018, and does so before the extra game is played. That is enough to earn a top-10 single season scoring finish.
* Sweet Dee becomes the 6th team to reach 80 combined losses, the fastest to do so (134 games).
* The Stupid Idiots becomes the 10th team to reach 40 combined losses.
* The Duck Punchers is still stuck at 98 wins, two away from the biggest milestone ever reached in LOC. They'll have 3-4 more chances to get there this season.
* Stupid Idiots is on their first losing streak of the season.
* The four losingest teams in LOC history lost this week.
* Ma ma momma said ties Duck Punchers for most seasons with 4 or more consecutive wins (7).
* RIPDab moves into 2nd all-time in double-header wins (14).
* Pain Train becomes the 5th team to break 200 points in 80 regular season games.
* Paddock 9 now has 95 roster moves. I don't even know what moves he is making. He's just cycling players through like it's a laundering scheme.
* The Shotti Bunch and Paddock 9 finished their double-header with a nearly identitical matchup. Their final score of 184.58-159.35 nearly matches their initial matchup's final of 180.80-146.12.

## Seasons of 9 or More Wins

Seasons of 9 or more Wins by Each Team
 ma ma momma said
 Duck Punchers
 Pain Train
 RIPDab
 Multiverse of Mattness
 Paddock 9
 Papa's Posse
 Sweet Dee

Duck can join Shotti at 5 with a win this week.

## Playoffs??

Four teams are locked in. All four of those teams are also in contention for the two bye spots.

Sweet Dee, and Pain Train are all #DONE. Should have traded more of your players away, then at least you'd have an excuse for your shitty seasons. (Not bitter at all)

### Magic Number

A Winning Magic Number is the number of consecutive upcoming games a team must **win** to guarantee winning a given playoff spot. These take into account scoring differentials deemed to be significant.

^ - Means Team will Finish Better Than this Playoff Spot

X - Means Team Cannot Win This Playoff Spot

Number - Indicates the total number of upcoming games the team must win in order to guarantee this spot.

DNCD - Means team Does Not Control Its Destiny, and thus even after winning all remaining games they need help from other teams, be it with scoring or victories.

* - Indicates First Round Bye

### Elimination Number

An Elimination Number is the number of consecutive upcoming games a team must **lose** to guarantee losing a given playoff spot.

^ - Means Team will Finish Better Than this Playoff Spot

X - Means Team Cannot Win This Playoff Spot

Number - Indicates the total number of upcoming games the team must lose in order to guarentee losing this spot.

MW - Means team Might Win this spot even if they lose the rest of their games.

* - Indicates first round bye

## Week Fourteen Scenarios

* **ma ma momma said** clinches a first round bye with:
	+ **Win** or
	+ **Loss** by Duck Punchers or Stupid Idiots
* The Stupid Idiots clinches a first round bye with:
	+ **Win** or
	+ **Loss** by Duck Punchers and Multiverse of Mattness
* **Duck Punchers** clinches a first round bye with:
	+ **Win** and **loss** by The Stupid Idiots or
	+ **Win** and **outscore** The Stupid Idiots by 113.30 or
	+ **Loss** by Stupid Idiots and Mattness and **outscore** Idiots by 113.30

* **The Multiverse of Mattness** clinches a first round bye with:
	+ **Win** and **losses** by Idiots and Duck
* **The Shotti Bunch** clinches playoffs with:
	+ **Win** or
	+ **Loss** by Papa's Posse or
	+ **Hold** 92.04 point lead on Papa's Posse
	+ The Shotti Bunch is eliminated in all other scenarios
* **The Shotti Bunch** clinches a first round bye with:
	+ **Win** and **losses** by Idiots, Duck, Mattness, and **outscore** Idiots by 85.42

* **RIPDab** clinches playoffs with:
	+ **Win** or
	+ **Loss** by Papa's Posse or
	+ **Hold** 41 point lead on Papa's Posse
	+ RIPDab is eliminated in all other scenarios
* **Papa's Posse** clinches playoffs with:
	+ **Win** and **loss** by RIPDab and **outscore** RIPDab by 41.01 or
	+ **Win** and **loss** by The Shotti Bunch and **outscore** The Shotti Bunch by 92.05
	+ Papa's Posse is eliminted in all other scenarios

## Above and Below

RIPDab has fallen below his projection 11 of the 13 weeks this season. Bananas for a 7-win squad.

### All-Time Season Finale Standings (Minimum Two Games)

Updated 1/1/21

Used to be able to call these the 'week 13' standings but now the finale is week 14 so we have to adjust. Mattness has historically been the best finisher, losing just three games in the final week of the season. But his roster took two huge hits this week yet again and it an underdog against 3-7 momma, who is looking to lock up the Commissioner's Cup.

## Trade Tracker

Starts (Paddock 9):

* Kirk: 4
* Reagor: 0

Starts (RIPDab)

* Hopkins: 5
* Williams: 1

It's nuts because since the trade, Kirk has actually averaged 12.80 a game, but P9 has only gotten 7.73 out of him.

Starts (ma ma momma said):

* Dallas Goedert: 5

Starts (Multiverse of Mattness):

* J.D. McKissic: 3

Sadly neither is playing this week as these two face off in a potential playoff preview.

Starts (Papa's Posse):

* Darrell Mooney: 3
* Zach Ertz: 1

Starts (Multiverse of Mattness):

* Aaron Rodgers: 2
* Noah Fant: 2

## Power Rankings - Week Fourteen

* APT: **RECORD AGAINST PLAYOFF TEAMS**

* L3: **RECORD OVER LAST THREE GAMES**

### 1(1). Ma ma momma said (9-4) C, BYE

* APT: 4-2
* L3: 3-0

Gets a week off for his wedding, what a treat. Hopefully it's enough time for the Jaguars to figure out what the fuck they are doing with James Robinson and for Stefon Diggs to recover from the shit performance he put on against New England last week.

### 2(4). The Multiverse of Mattness (8-5) C

* APT: 3-4
* L3: 3-0

Mattness is the hottest team in the LOC, and he's done it with contributions from guys who came in the draft, not from megatrades throughout the season. Guys like Pollard, Waddle, Hockenson. You know, all the guys who aren't playing this week because of byes or injuries. As good as this team has been, they still have not gotten their entire roster on the field at one time. Hopefully this week serves as a de facto "bye" and the unit is healthy come quarterfinals.

### 3(3). The Stupid Idiots (8-5) C

* APT: 5-5
* L3: 1-2

0-2 since clinching playoffs but his scoring is creeping back up and he seems to have the most balanced team. A lot will depend on Jonathan Taylor, who is off this week. Chubb returns though and once both are on the field in week 15 this is for sure the strongest team top-to-bottom. They're ranked 3rd here because I think of all the 8-5's they have the smallest chance of getting to 9-5 and a bye.

### 4(2). Duck Punchers (8-5) C

* APT: 4-4
* L3: 1-2

Duck has done this for multiple seasons in a row now. Hot in the first half, cools off for playoffs. They're 3-4 over the second half of the season, with only one game over 200 in their last five. It's not the direction you want to be going in, and no team needs the bye more than Duck.

### 5(6). Papa's Posse (6-7)

* APT: 2-6
* L3: 1-2

Ouch. That loss has to sting. They were one of just five teams to break 200 in week 13, yet they still lost. Oddly enough, their fate is still sort of in their hands. They need the biggest game of the season and they need one of the two teams at 7-6 to completely crap the bed. Considering the history of those teams this year, that's not totally improbable.

### 6(7). RIPDab (7-6)

* APT: 4-2
* L3: 2-1

On paper this team has fucking sucked, but they've beaten two 8-5 teams in the last two weeks, basically costing both of them the Commissioner's Cup in the process. Now they go against their arch rival in their first matchup since 2020. It's going to be a great game to watch and I just hope it's a close one. The chance to possibly knock Shotti out of the playoffs has to be a motivator, but more importantly they need to prove that they can break 200 and make a dent in the Festival of Champions.

### 7(5). The Shotti Bunch (7-6)

* APT: 1-5
* L3: 2-1

Shotti has only beaten one playoff team all season, a week two blowout of Mattness. They haven't broken 200 in consecutive weeks since weeks 4-6 and they've lost Adam Thielen to an injury that carries an undisclosed amount of time away from the game. Is Deebo healthy? Can Gronk stay on the field? Are the injuries to Baltimore getting to be too much for Lamar Jackson to overcome? They're likely in the playoffs, but they are limping in to the tournament for sure.

### 8(8). Pain Train (5-8) E

* APT: 3-6
* L3: 1-2

There has to be a lot of regret with this season. They lost two games when scoring 240.93 and 235.24. If they had just been playing someone else, maybe they are 7-6 and right in the thick of things. But every year it has to happen to someone, and this year it happened to Pain Train. There's still something to play for this week though: if they can win and get to the 7th seed, they'll face 2-11 Paddock 9 in the opening round of the Consolation Tournament. That puts them in a great spot to be battling for the Heart and Soul Bowl and control of the top four picks in the 2022 draft.

### 9(9). Sweet Dee (5-8) E

* APT: 3-6
* L3: 1-2

There was a moment there when I thought Sweet Dee might have pulled the upset. Godwin got five thousand targets, Josh Jacobs played well. LA defense brought the heat. But Mahomes is just not Mahomes this season, either because of the way defenses are playing him or because of the unimaginable pressure that must accompany being chosen as "the next best thing." In either case, 5-8 is an unfortunate but not totally unexpected result for a team that only made 7 roster moves.

### 10(10). Paddock 9 (2-11) E

* APT: 1-7
* L3: 0-3

On the other hand, here's a team that has made 95 roster moves and has even less to show for it. The whole "get every defense" plan backfired when they left a defense on free agency that got Shotti 38 points. How many points did Paddock 9 lose by? Oh yeah, 25. Now they are hoping to avoid becoming the first 12 loss team in LOC history. Tough look for ya boi P9.

## In Conclusion

Fantasy football sucks but we also love it, so embrace the final week of the regular season and see everyone next week for my favorite writeup of the year: the playoff preview week!