Home Again (Alice version) (My version)

Mirage chuckled evilly and rubbed her hands together as the preverbal ball was back in her court. "And, uh...what were you saying, my dear?" she asked Alice in a silky voice.

Dijon reappeared on Mirage's head with one last trick. "Well, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered, old tyrant!" he laughed.

As Dijon laughed away into thin air, Mirage became very angry. "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!" she shouted.

The cat gangsters erupted with applause as they dove and swarmed to arrest Alice, who rushed out of the courtroom, knocking away any cats that got in her way.

"You heard what her majesty said!" Warren announced before getting trampled by the cat gangsters, "Off with her head!"

Timothy blew on his trumpet to call out more cats as Alice ran out of the castle with about 52 decks worth of cats hot on her tail.

Alice raced into the maze as the cats followed suit. The chase continued for about 15 minutes as even Mirage and Warren took part in the chase. The chase ended when Alice ran (quite literally) into a deck of cat gangsters, knocking them over in the process. Mirage ran over the cat gangsters on her side, causing an incline that stopped Alice in her tracks.

As she slid down the cat gangster slide, she noticed the hedge maze vanishing and suddenly wind up in another caucus race, led by Jim Crow, of course. The racers included Mirage, Warren, Br'er Bear, Br'er Fox, Foghorn, Daffy, Louis, Ray, some Oysters, and a deck's worth of the cat gangsters.

Everyone (except Alice): *Forward, backward, inward, outward, here we go again*
*No one ever loses and no one can ever win*
*Backward, forward, outward, inward, bottom to the top*
*Never a beginning...*

Alice pulled herself out of the caucus and started running across a beach, with Mirage and the cat gangsters chasing after her.

"Off with her head!" Mirage shouted, "Off with her head!"

Alice kept on running as the rocks she jumped over turned into teapots; she suddenly found herself back at Br'er Bear and Br'er Fox's tea party. Just then, Br'er Bear and Br'er Fox appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Alice.

"Just a moment," Br'er Bear said. "You can't leave a tea party without having a cup of tea, you know!"

Alice panted, "But-but I can't stop now!"

"Ah, but we insist," said Br'er Fox. "You must join us in a cup of tea!"

The bear and the fox pushed Alice into a giant cup of tea, which seemed to be more spacious than it looked. She came out, seeing that the tea turned into water...an ocean at that. As she swam, Mirage was riding at her, using the same method the travel Jim Crow did earlier on.

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!" Mirage shouted.

Alice immediately noticed Hiss, smoking on top of his mushroom.

"Sir Hiss, what will I do?" Alice asked.

He turned to her, not seeming to enjoy her company and blew smoke at her. "Who are you?" Hiss asked.

As Alice coughed from the smoke, she suddenly felt solid ground on her feet. The ocean around her disappeared as Hiss's smoke swirls into a tunnel that stretched for miles. Alice wasted no time running as Mirage and the cat gangsters were right behind her.

"There she goes!" Mirage called, "Don't let her get away! Off with her head!"

The tunnel went on for a while until Alice came upon Gene. She reached out, desperately trying to grab him. She finally managed to grab it and tried to open the door. However, Gene groaned in pain as Alice grabbed him. "Still locked, you know." he said.

"But Mirage!" Alice explained, "I simply must get out."

Gene chuckled. "But you *are* outside." he said.

Alice was confused. "What?"

"See for yourself!" said Gene, as he opened his mouth wide to show what he was talking about. Alice looked inside and saw herself out in the riverbank, asleep under the tree, with Dinah in her lap.

"Why, why that's me!" Alice exclaimed, "I'm asleep!"

"Don't let her get away!" Mirage ordered, "Off with her head!"

The blonde-haired girl turned around to see Mirage and her mob rushing at her, and this time she was cornered with nowhere else to run.

"Alice! Alice, wake up!" Alice begged herself, "Please wake up, Alice!"

She attempted to wake the other Alice on the other side up. But she was too late! The attacks finally reached her, mere inches away from hitting her.

At that moment, everything went bright white. The last thing Alice could hear was a distant voice calling her name, "Alice! Alice!"

The voice revealed to be Odette in the real world, who was calling to her daughter to wake up. "Alice! Alice!" Odette  called out, "Will you please pay attention and recite your lesson?"

Finally, Alice woke up from her slumber. Her mind was still fresh from her "adventure." She asked, "Hmmm? Oh. Oh! Uh..." She heard to the word "recite," and she suddenly shot up to recite.

Alice: *How doth the little crocodile*
*Improve his shining tail*
*And pour the waters of the...*

"Alice, what are you talking about?" Odette cut her off.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mother." Alice apologized to her mother, "But you see, Kaa said..."

"Kaa?" Odette was confused. "Oh, for goodness' sake! Alice, I...Oh, well." she said, "Come along, your father and brothers are waiting for you. It’s time for dinner, anyway."

Odette led Alice home from the park for dinner as Alice picked up Dinah. Alice was glad to be home after the long adventure she had. Even if it was just a crazy dream...Or was it? One thing was for sure, Alice knew that she would remember this dream for a long, long time...and the new yet, strange friends she met along the way.

Chorus: *Alice in Wonderland*
*Over the hill or here or there*
*I wonder where*

*The End*

*A Detective88 Production*