The Final Banquet (episode)

## The Final Banquet

The Final Banquet

***The Final Banquet*** is the 7th episode of the second season of *The Current Covenant* and the
15th episode overall. The episode deviates from other episodes as an expositional backstory to the Host.

## Plot

The episode starts without an intro, but instead shows a disclaimer:

```
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses,
places, events, locales, and incidents are either the
products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious
manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
or actual events is purely coincidental.

```

### Act 1

#### The Snack-tastrophe

The episode starts with a view of a restaurant; Cairn, Haze, Stormcloud, and Horseshoe are chatting inside. Haze is holding a video camera. Cairn is in the middle of rambling about an unknown group of other people, including two who have "made off" with their finances. Suddenly, Host appears, much to the four's relief. Stormcloud suggests ordering sandwiches before Host cuts him off, remarking that they want fish. Cairn angrily retorts that they have no money which Host replies with a defeated "oh".

The scene cuts to Receipt (also holding a camera) and Silver Coin in front of a vending machine, elsewhere. Silver Coin impatiently kicks the machine; Receipt suggests using actual money. Struck with inspiration, Silver Coin fishes out a bag of (silver) coins, slots all of them into the coin hatch, and pushes one button repeatedly. Receipt and Silver Coin pick up all the bags of snacks that fall down and the former opens his phone to make a call.

In a third location, a hotel room, Sapling accepts a phone call, but not from Receipt. Horseshoe tells them that he, Host, Cairn, Stormcloud, and Haze were just kicked out of a restaurant for being broke and that all of them are finding a new restaurant to mope in. Spear (who is ALSO holding a camera), Handsaw, and Hide lean in to listen. Spear asks Horseshoe what the point of going to restaurants is when Host can produce infinite food at will.

Suddenly, shouting can be heard in the background; Stormcloud is blowing up on Silver Coin for bringing back sixteen bags of *© Too Spicy! Bread Snax.*

#### Setting Sail

Cairn and Stormcloud argue with Silver Coin over his snack haul in the restaurant. Host says that they can return the snacks, since "hoarding is kinda shitty". They bring up the plan to have a fish dinner for the night; Haze offers to go with Stormcloud to find fish to eat. Cairn plans to do the same, but "his own way"; Host tells the othes that they call their friends. They all get to work.

The camera cuts to Fishnet using Oar to paddle across the sea with a video camera at the front of the boat recording them. Oar suddenly rises up, holding a shrimp trap with a starfish on it. The two sigh discontentedly. Fishnet suddenly picks up on bizarre, seemingly psychic waves, and blurts "we need to fish for Jesus", catching Oar off-guard. Oar salutes and dives back into the water while Fishnet pulls a (non-living) fishnet from the bottom of the rowboat.

```
notes on the rest of the episode to do
 something between this and next part. cairn is Physically Swimming for Fish
 out of nowhere
 none of the fishing endeavours work. they all return home but by one of
 "Jesus's Infinite Miracles" sapling grows fish from his branches.
 they all eat dinner. silver coin does not do what hes told. he gets yelled at for
 being a fuck up.
 he suggests a make-up kiss
 parental guidance appears to fucking arrest them all for "not being PG"

```

```
act 2
 soemthing something plan this later
 parental guidance says that host's show is getting its rating
 bumped up. host says if the rating goes up their ratings will go down. PG does not
 fucking care
 ???
 host gets stabbed and DIES probably by silver coin
 thw oethers are so magnum fucking pissed they go back to the vending machine and
 jam him in. all of the snacks fall out because hes "infinite money"
 the others hold a whole funeral service and everything
 host just fucking revives at the restaurant out of nowhere . theyre a little wafer.
 they say "jesus fucking christ"

```

## Cast

* Host, a loaf of leavened bread.
	+ Communion Wafer (First appearance)
* Parental Guidance, a figure never shown in whole. (First appearance)
* Cairn, a pile of stacked rocks.
* Haze, a thick wall of fog.
* Stormcloud (First appearance)
* Fishnet (First appearance)
* Horseshoe (First appearance)
* Sapling (First appearance)
* Spear (First appearance)
* Receipt (First appearance)
* Handsaw (First appearance)
* Hide, a square of folded leather hide. (First appearance)
* Oar (First appearance)
* Silver Coin (First appearance)

## Trivia

* the flaming hot cheetos part is nonfiction. one time in my sophomore year of high school i wateched a kid shove an entire wallet full of dollar bills into a vending machine and he just kept dispensing bags of flaming hot cheetos. he had like 8 under his arms
* parental guidance is god