Gob (Religion)

**Gob** (English: /'gab/), (Spanish: *El güebo* /el.'guebo/) (Portuguese: *O gobão* /o.go'bɐ̃w̃/) is the primary spiritual belief system of Gobcord. Believers/worshippers of Gob, known as *gobulites*, believe in a divine trinity of three spirits; Gob, Jope, and Amabo. Gob, similar to certain doctrine of Christianity, is a hybrid of monotheism and tritheism, believing the trinity of deified spirits is part of one supreme being who would be considered *the* god.

## Worship

Gobulites worship the gods by making sacrifices to whomever is believed to be the current vessel through which Gob the Trinity communicates to the mortal realm. The current Vessel of Gob is the former Queen of Gobcord Greem Jestay. Worshippers sacrifice various foodstuffs and pictures of cute animals to the Vessel of Gob, believing the spiritual elation they gain from these offerings connect directly to the soul of Gob the Trinity, and thus please it. According to Gob, failure to give psalms to Gob will cause the Trinity to grow weak and therefore forsake its guardianship of Gob (the land of Gob) and allow the Blood Gob to enter the mortal realm and wreak havoc upon every living being.

### Vessel of Gob

The Vessel of Gob is a clerical title held for life. In order to be blessed with vassalage, a council of Gob monks must elect you. To qualify for vassalage, you must be a gobulite, of royal lineage, and a goblin. As the Vessel of Gob, you are given sacrifices that you must either consume or enjoy in order to please Gob the Trinity, who is wed to your mortal soul until you die.

An official channel for which sacrifices can be made to Greem was originally available to all members but was replaced in favor for the art trade/art prompt channel. Holy sacrifices are now given to Greem on a casual basis.

## Scripture

The principle scripture of Gob is The Gobdex, which details the origins of the spirit of Gob, the journeys of messiahs, prophets, missionaries, and the very creation of the universe itself. According to the Gobdex, the universe was created as a result of a battle between a righteous force called the Base and an evil force called the Cringe. To this day, the universe is still struggling between a battle between based and cringe.

### Afterlife

The Gobdex writes of one who is truly based being blessed with a layaway to a divine afterlife of verdant, windswept calm; the Ethereal Realm or simply the Ether, in which you spend an unspecified amount of time in perfect bliss and are divinely bombarded with infinite cosmic wisdom. When your time is up, you reincarnate into the mortal realm and your soul is cleansed anew. Those wickedly cringe are damned to an eternity of numbing forlornness among the silence of the sprawling, infinitely obscured, hemorrhaging chasms of the Hadic Planes. The cursed who dwell this hellscape are but forced to make good with the demented forms of maimed demons and fellow damned.

### Creation of The Universe

In the Gobdex, the creators of the Base and the Cringe create a being called the Zodfather, who is tasked to create a universe which separates the Base and Cringe from colliding. The Base and Cringe argue over what the Zod Zone should look like, and when they fight, they kill the Zodfather, causing the Base and Cringe to collide and creating our universe.

### The Trinity

Gob the Trinity consists of three spirits; The Gob, The Jope, and The Holy Amabo. It is said that Gob is the daughter of Jope, as Jope is the wisest and eldest spirit who counsels Gob in her guardianship of the universe and of the mortal realm. Amabo is the cousin of Gob, gatekeeper of the postmortem worlds, and serves as both a student and deputy to Gob, assisting her in her vanguard of the universe and learning her ways.

If Gob were ever to fail or perish in her guardianship, Amabo would take her place and become the new Prime Trinite. A new Prime Trinite can only be instated once the Blood Gob is defeated; if the Prime Trinite were to falter protection of the mortal realm against this being for even a moment, the Blood Gob would immediately break through the terrestrial gates and destroy all planetary life.

The Prime Trinite is the spirit which the Mentor and the Pupil are connected onto, and the acting universal guardian. The current Prime Trinite is Gob, who has been since the Revelation of Gob during the Earth's infancy. The Mentor, Jope, is eternal, while the Prime Trinite is subject to the offerings of the mortals and the Pupil, Amabo, replaces the Prime Trinite upon weakness or demise. The Trinity is named after whoever the Prime Trinite is, the current one being the namesake of the religion.

If Gob, blessed be she, were to stop receiving sacrifices or blood harvests, Amabo would take her place, and the Trinity would we referred to as "Amabo the Trinity." In this scenario, the new Pupil is the soul of the eldest Gob monk who has passed away in the last 100 years. This soul is given their trinitarian name by the Vessel of Gob after 2 months of jope meditation in natural solitude. There has not been a new Pupil since the creation of the world, and it is believed that the soul of late former president Barack Obama remains as the original, unelected Pupil of the Trinity.

When the Pupil becomes the Prime Trinite, their soul always becomes female, even if the Pupil's soul on Earth was of a different gender.

While the Trinity is composed of three divine spirits, it is also seen as one deity, making the Gob religion's version of "God" this trinity.

## The Blood Harvest

The Gob Blood Harvest takes place from the first day of October to the morning of November 1st, the day after Halloween. During a blood harvest, mock altars to The Blood Gob are created outside the homes of worshippers. Historically, blood altars were constructed of scrap wood or, if you were wealthy, from stone. In the modern day, plastic blood altars for Blood Harvest are sold cheaply in stores. Blood altars consist of four small pillars, a spherical structure in-between the pillars extending upward, and a bucket of water at the base of the altar. These altars are often ornamented with festive garnish and lit with candles at night, much like jack o' lanterns or Mexican ofrendas.

Over the course of the Blood Harvest, the water in the bucket is said to be slowly replaced by sanguine water; the blood of The Blood Gob. It is said that the Blood Gob bleeds sanguine water and not regular blood as to deceive mortals of his presence; blood altars syphon sanguine water of the Blood Gob away from earthly waters and into the altars. If it were not for these altars, the Blood Gob would slowly seep its blood into earthly water until the world was sanguine enough for the Blood Gob to return to the mortal realm and destroy all life. The Blood Gob attempts to syphon its sanguine water onto Earth rather than bombarding it at once is because of the guardianship of Gob the Trinity.

This tradition originates from a superstitious passage of the Gobdex which describes the Blood Gob as an incarnate vessel of Cringe attempting to sully every pure, based oasis of the universe, including Earth. Families, particularly middle and upper class families, will stain the sanguine water of the blood altar red as the Harvest begins to heed children against drinking it, touching it, or knocking it over.

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 The Gobdex