Load Bearing

## Content Information

With a sigh, Tamzen closed her notebook, and saved the project files to their shared space. Leaning back in her chair, she stretched her arms above her head with a groan. “Okay. So… we’ve finished the summaries for both case files, and we’ve settled on the Search and Rescue project. We’ve done some initial sketches to go with our initial thoughts, and once Jansen okays that, we can start booking time in the prototyping lab.” She glanced over at Didi, face carefully customer-service pleasant. “I think that’s everything… are we missing something?”

Didi had some basic 3D renders ready for key elements of the design -- a gripper, treads, a shell with a rough structure inside. All tentative at this point.

“We’re ahead of the game,” said Didi, sitting back. “Thanks for being willing to get this done ahead of time, it’s going to be a busy week and I…” She trailed off, not about to go into either her full moon issues or exactly what was going to keep her busy. She shrugged. “Anyway, it’s done.”

“Yeah…” Tamzen slipped her supplies into her bag, and pulled out her phone, tapping in a quick search inquiry, then nodded sharply at the results. “Assuming that we get the okay, you’ll be... *‘unbusy’*...” a heavy emphasis on that word. “...by the first, right?”

After a quick count of her fingers, Didi nodded. “The first is good, I can do machine tools and stuff on the first.” She seemed about to say something else, then just let out a breath and packed up her own things in her worn canvas bag and pulled on her old NASA sweatshirt.

“Heading to the dorm or to the station?” she asked, as they got up to leave the computer lab.

Tamzen slung her bag over her shoulder and started walking towards the door. “Yeah, I think I was going to go to the station for a bit… haven’t spent a lot of time there since Wednesday, so I should probably do some straightening up.”

The other girl tilted her head; Tamzen being away from the station so long was unprecedented, in her experience it was either really good or really bad, and given Thursday night, she had a guess.

“I’ll walk you there,” she said, falling into step beside Tamzen like it was the most natural thing, like they were Tam and Fluffy.

Tamzen hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah, sure… if you want, I guess.” Outside Gilbreth Hall, the sun was shining brightly, and a gentle breeze kept the temperatures to that of a perfect spring day. Normally, Tamzen would have taken her time walking to work, but this time she walked with a purpose, as if she wanted to get to the station as soon as possible. She kept to a brisk pace, though not so fast that Didi couldn’t easily keep up.

“Tamzen.”

The single word was laden with too many emotions to separate them all. Sorrow, caring, anger, guilt, uncertainty…

“She’s doing well,” said the werewolf. “We patrolled last night, she met some of the packmates, made a good impression. Made a friend, too, I think. Saved two lives.”

“And that’s all that really matters to you all, doesn’t it?” Tamzen replied, bitterly. “Linny offsetting her body count from before you ‘saved’ her?” She didn’t look at Didi, keeping her advice focused straight ahead of her, and tension in every muscle in her body screamed her unhappiness with the other girl.

“You know it’s not all that matters,” Didi said, exasperation joining the mingle of emotions. “But it *does* matter that she’s doing well, and that her ‘body count’...” She paused. “Whatever, you don’t need to hear this from me; I’m sure Xander already talked to you about why it was the right thing to do as far as Linny goes. So let’s set her aside for the moment and talk about you…”

Tamzen wrapped her arms across her chest, rubbing her upper arm in a self-soothing gesture. “Why? There’s nothing to talk about… after all, if it was important, I’d have sent you a *note,*” she muttered softly.

Didi looked at her intently, studying every twitch and gesture and scent.

“I was sure you’d read it,” she said, her voice still tense, as if it could break in any direction. “Why the hell else did you start shunning me the day after? And then you said you told Arsling about me? You told the monster slayer *I* was a monster… I thought. You were the first fucking person I ever told… tried to tell.” Her lips quivered and her eyes tensed.

“Jesus! I thought you were talking about what happened at the *party*. You know, the one where I ended up *naked* together?” She couldn’t meet Didi’s face. “I didn’t start shunning you. We barely knew each other like this…” a waved hand to indicate Didi’s presence in human form, “...and Fluf- *you* stopped coming around to walk me home after…” her mouth snapped shut, then her eyes widened as pieces fell into place. “After I confessed that I thought I might have a crush on you…” Her shoulders started to tremble. “*Shit…* you’ve known this whole time, haven’t you?”

The blue-haired girl pressed a hand to her temple, not sure what she knew *now*, trying to keep track.

“You thought *I* rejected *you*?”

“*Yes*! Or no… or...I don’t know…” Tamzen glanced off into the distance. “But I fell asleep in the studio that night, and I never saw a note. The only thing Linny and I talked about on Monday was her trip up to the springs, and she mentioned that you had told her what happened at the party, and I...” *and I realized that you two had gotten together at the springs…* she added silently, then sighed. “I didn’t even know that there was anything weird about *her* until after your pack chased her and put her in the hospital… and that was *after* we talked on Thursday...”

Didi felt like she might be sick. “Can we sit down?” she asked, gesturing to a stand of trees in the courtyard.

Tamzen hesitated, then nodded, letting Didi lead her to a secluded bench in a shaded corner of the courtyard.

“That day we hooked up at the springs, I didn’t know any of the stuff about Linny. I didn’t really know her that well. We were just having fun together after she approached me the day before.” Didi sat with one leg folded under herself on the bench. “Then, that night, a friend warned me. She’s a monster slayer. Two werewolf packs annihilated. This faerie magic draws monsters in, and then she kills them.” The horror and the fear were obvious in her voice. “We were terrified. And she’d approached me the day after I told you… thought I told you… and then you said you’d told her…” She met Tamzen’s eyes. “For part of that week I thought you wanted me *dead* because of what I am.”

“So… you thought that the girl who had absolutely no problem being walked home at night for weeks by a *wolf…* would have somehow freaked out about finding out that the wolf was actually a werewolf and wouldn’t have even *tried* to talk to you about it first?” She stood back up and started to walk away again. “Then… I guess I’m sorry for whatever I did to give you such a low opinion of me.”

“I guess you’ve never had to come out to someone about something that can get you fucking killed,” Didi shouted at her back. “I trusted in you enough to *try*.”

Tamzen spun to face Didi, hands clenched into fists at her side. “You’re right.. I haven’t. But you know what else I’ve never done? Lured my *friends* into a trap that nearly got all of them *killed*.” Her face was twisted into something between distress and anger. “Linny got bit by someone she thought was her friend, and I had to spend hours literally *flaying* Xander’s snakeskin from him before he could turn back to human again… but funny… *you* seemed to walk out of that trap with everything you wanted, *didn’t you*? That seems pretty fuckin’ convenient to me, Didi.”

“You’re gonna blame me because the three of you decided to get *violent* and it came back to bite you? I didn’t get us trapped there and I sure as fuck didn’t make you three slap and punch and headbutt those fae.”

“Well, you certainly had no problem taking advantage of it to get what you wanted.” Tamzen couldn’t look at Didi any more. “So...congratulations, you’ve gotten what you wanted. Your dangerous monster hunter is neutralized and you’ve got a new member of your pack… and you’re the big damned hero to every monster in the place. Enjoy it.”

“We’re stuck with each other for this project, because I’m not going to go up to Jansen and say ‘*so, my group partner is a werewolf and she just bit my roommate*’. And I’m not going to start carrying silver when I’m around you, unless you give me a reason to need it. We’re just going to suck it up and get through this, like professionals. But we’re not friends, Didi. Not any more. And if anything happens to *my* friend, now that she’s part of *your* pack? Well… I’ll know who to blame.”

And with that, Tamzen tried to hurry away before Didi could respond.

“That’s fine by me!” Didi shouted. “But we’re not done here.” She stalked in front of the other girl. “When’s the first time you went digging in my memories? I heard you, that night, and before that… you called me Dany. So what the fuck is that?”

“I don’t even know yet! That night was the first time I went looking for your memories on purpose - and what else should I have done? Linny had no idea what was going to happen to her, and she deserved to know - without having to rely on the person who had done it to her.” She wrapped her arms across her check in a protective gesture. “The other thing… I was in the library that first weekend of Spring Break, and then I was somewhere else...and every time I touched something there I was inside another memory, *reliving* it. Yours was one of them… but I was also at Xander’s mother’s funeral, and with Linny as she was dancing out in the fields with her mother.” Tamzen took a quick step to the side, hoping to walk past Didi.

“It was fine, that night. I would have let you -- if I’d had a choice. Especially since I thought you might understand. It was the stuff before, the Dany stuff… but I see. An accident. Of course it would be that kind of memory, for you.” She frowned at Tamzen’s back. “I tried to leave you out of it, you know. After Ash tried to barter my body to the fae I did strike a deal of my own. But part of the deal was to get you and Xander away from what needed to be done. Turning into Fluffy… that was faer doing, too. It wasn’t how I would have chosen to do it. All of our time together did mean something. To me anyway.”

She shook her head, then, and turned. “See you in class, Tamzen.”

Tamzen hesitated for a moment, and when she responded, there was more than a hint of regret in her voice. “Yeah… see you in class.”

She glanced up at the moon, waxing ever closer to full. *And be careful...*