Taylor Swift

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.

## Taylor Swift

### Relatives

Glenn Close (step-grandfather)
Jodie Foster (grandfather)
Cassandra Swift (mom)
Nicky Close (father)

### Affiliation

D.A.D.D.I.E.S.
Scary Marlowe
Normal Oak
Lincoln Li-Wilson
Hermie the Unworthy
"Dood"

## Character Information

### Class

Ranger (Horizon Walker)Rogue (Mastermind)

## Appearances

### Overview

Taylor Swift (no, not that one) is a zany anime-loving teen rogue (prev. ranger). He’s one of the most popular kids at school--how he managed to wrangle himself into that spot, nobody knows.

## Teen Facts

* Ep1: He calls his backpack a go bag. It contains survival materials like paracord, one of those crinkly survival blankets and a whistle.
* Ep2: He is able to set a fire anywhere, in any condition (as long as it’s somewhat dry and he has a lighter).
* Ep3: He’s into Disney anime remakes.
* Ep4: He got really into ‘Spot the drowning kid’ videos on YouTube and helped to save a kid from drowning at the local pool.
* Ep5: He doesn’t like throwing stars. He says it is because they’re impractical in use and are limited, but secretly it is because he once tried to practice throwing them in his backyard and cut his hand. He’s been scared to use them ever since.
* Ep6: He has been trying - unsuccessfully - to get one of his dances sold in the hit game ‘Fork Knife’.
* Ep7: He has two bedrooms. One in his mom’s house, and a ‘secondary sleeping location’ which is a tent that he has pitched in the woods near his house. He sleeps in the tent maybe once every two weeks.
* Ep8: He had a ‘blankie’. It is actually a body pillow with two anime ladies on both sides (eight anime ladies total).
* Ep9: He is the best person on the debate team. His speciality is the ‘Gish Gallop’.
* Ep10: After bothering his mom enough, she bought him a full iRacing rig. Because of how much space it takes up in the garage, his mom has to park her car in the driveway. As a result, he kind of knows the Laguna Seca course in California.
* Ep11: He is popular, but he doesn’t have a clique. His best friend moved away when he was in grade school, and since then he hasn’t really had any close friends.
* Ep12: He is a spy main in TF2.
* Ep13: He is secretly a huge fan of the soccer team. He also occasionally shines a laser pointer into the opposing goalie’s eyes.
* Ep14: He’s always imagined ‘My Neighbor Totoro’ as a samurai movie.
* Ep15: His favorite pizza is sausage pizza. He also asks for every topping they have, and never receives every topping.
* Ep16: He has a mini bike that he has modified to roll coal. He lets his friends in the neighborhood ride it whenever they want, and when the cops showed up he got away blame free because it was his friends that had been using it.
* Ep17: He signed up to be a Postmates driver with his mini bike. He did it for a couple of days and then stopped. He thinks being a voice actor/actress is the only job, and everything else is just a hobby you get paid for.
* Ep18: He quit his job as a Postmates driver because the tip was never high enough for him.
* Ep19: His favorite Joker depiction is Hisoka, a villain from the Hunter x Hunter series.
* Ep20: Growing up, he was a fan of the Berenstain Bears books (and grew up with it spelled E-I-N). His favorite one is ‘Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food’, because the candy looks amazing.
* Ep21: His favorite sushi is salmon sushi (because vitamin D is abundant in sushi, and salmon specifically).
* Ep22: He has never injured himself while physically training. His training regimen is that he runs maybe half a mile every few months, and then stops. He also does as many pushups as he can once every few months.
* Ep23: He has ordered a series of whetting and sharpening stones off of Amazon, and despite watching nearly 30 hours of YouTube videos about how to sharpen knives, every time he tries to sharpen his blades, they get duller.
* Ep24: This is not the first time he has been in a church. He was politely asked to leave the last church he was in because he kept saying things were ‘Just like in Evangelion’.
* Ep25: His New Year’s resolution is to get more into fan dubbing anime. Prior to the season, he was downloading anime off of YouTube. His mom’s computer now has a lot of spyware.
* Ep26: He has been thinking about anime betrayals, and Scary’s betrayal is his new number 1 anime betrayal, usurping his previous top anime betrayal which was in the anime ‘Toi Sutori 4’.
* Ep27: This is not how he imagined he would die.
* Ep28: One of the first things he checked upon being beheaded was whether it would affect his potential future voiceover career.
* Ep29: He doesn’t shower. The only time he showers is before strenuous physical activity, because he has no BO. He also counts standing in the rain as showering.
* Ep30: He does play sports, and has played sports growing up. He always makes a beeline towards goalie, because he believes that as goalie you can ‘just sit there’. (Beth’s fact for Taylor: He played T-ball until he was like 16 because he could never actually hit the ball. Freddie adds on: He hasn’t internalised the muscle mechanics for a baseball swing because he thinks it would fuck up his katana cutting technique.)
* Ep31: He has never seen the Pixar movie Onward, or an anime adaptation of Onward, specifically anything that might happen with a father figure’s severed legs.
* Ep32: He is not a fan of Willy (anymore). At first, he felt great that his mom was seeing someone she likes, but now he thinks Willy is a real jerk.
* Ep33: He once had the cops called on him by a neighbor because she thought he was having a party with a load of women, but they were actually cardboard cutouts of anime girls. He got arrested because he had a sword when he answered the door.
* Ep34: He is not nervous about the standup, because he has been to an anime convention before, and sometimes between panels, the rooms will do a standup showcase, and he has done these so many times.
* Ep35: He has been married before, to his body pillows, with a little ceremony and everything.
* Ep36: He always wanted to have an anime style hot spring in his backyard, because he believed it would make ladies come over. His mom told him he could have one koi fish in an aquarium. (He does have an unfinished series on his YouTube channel about building his own Japanese anime style hot springs, and the only video is him breaking the ground).
* Ep37: Freddie was planning on changing Taylor’s voice this episode, but given the previous episode’s events, decided that it seemed inappropriate. So while jumping off of the building last episode, he swallowed a bug which delayed his voice drop.
* Ep38: He’s conflicted after the events that have happened, because on one hand he’s witnessed Scary going through some really hard emotional turmoil and trauma, but on the other hand, he got to spin around and slice people with a samurai sword.
* Ep39: He has been doing remixes of MP3s on his computer using WinApp. He’s been getting into the ‘amateur music thing’, and is a soundcloud rapper who does anime raps.
* Ep40: (Freddie has a cat now) Taylor also has a cat… boy costume that he uses to make NPC videos on TikTok. He made so much money from it, but only for two days before the videos got slammed with content violations, because they were just a little too weird for TikTok.
* Ep41: Like all weeb boys, he has considered ‘Am I more ninja or am I more samurai?’ With how stealthy he was, clearly ninja, but he has started to come around to the idea of wearing more than one sword to be more samurai.
* Ep42: He’s not a fan of a flying dog (Rogue), because he had put all of his heart into walking-up-the-walls cat. He thinks that a flying dog is objectively better on multiple fronts, and it’s not fair, so he’s making hating flying dogs his whole personality.
* Ep43: He knows the Titanic like the back of his hand because of a Pixar animated film that he’s a huge fan of; Pixar’s ‘Boats’, which is about the Titanic and the Carpathia.
* Ep44: He has respecced into a rogue, and is excited for doing more stealthy stuff.
* Ep45: The one thing he misses the most about being a ranger is disguising himself as a trashcan and getting pushed onto the stage.
* Ep46: After he quit karate, he saw a mall ninja place and his mom bought him 4 katanas, 5 throwing stars, a taser, a stun gun and a grappling hook
* Ep47: His first fight was in 4th grade. He was getting bullied at school because he played a collectable card game (Lorcana), and the bully (Steve) took his stuff, so he kicked Steve in the balls. He got into martial arts so that he could beat up kids better without getting in trouble.
* Ep48: He once made a bow and arrow, but because there were no Yew trees near San Dimas, he substituted a Redwood tree (it is a felony to deface a redwood tree) and made a bow which snapped immediately. He has never gone back to the bow. (He found the oldest tree in America on google maps).

## Trivia

* While canonically 16, Taylor pretends as if he is 19 because he believes it makes him "cooler." This started due to him misreading his driver's license. (As of Teen Talk)