Chapter 10

Nurse Okabe wants to know why Akira is at the hospital ? It is because her grandmother fell at home and was taken to this hospital.

## Features of This Chapter

### Story Setting

Rumi's home / the hospital / at school / the teacher's lounge

### Transition Milestones

When confronted with misdirected advice to change schools and go back to presenting as a boy, Akira tells herself that she is not opposed to being a girl, stopping just short of doing a 'coming out' to herself as an authentic adolescent girl.

### Relationship Evolution

More girls are offering their shoujo ai friendship to Akira. Rumi's older sister Michiru, and a girl at school, Mayu, to name two.

### Lessons Learned

Akira is distressed that others are making important decisions for her about her gender and sexuality concerns. She is slowly learning that she, as young as she is, must make these decisions for herself.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE ( UNTIL I BECOME ME )

CHAPTER 10 OF THE STORY (Revised English Translation)

## Previously

The longer that Akira continues on as a girl, the more urgent a consideration becomes in her mind, heart, and soul. That is, whether or not she will continue her transformation to that of a teenage girl, or whether she will be lead back to being a debased boy. Her mind and heart seems to be telling her that at this point in the game, she is not opposed to being a girl the rest of her life. However, Mom is beginning to put pressure on her, for whatever unknown reason of hers, to begin detransitioning back to boyhood. Grandma, who was so supportive in the beginning, is recently seemingly falling in with Mom's opinion, that Akria will return to being a boy. Nevertheless, despite being a minor, it is Akira, and her alone, who has to decide the direction of her life.

## This Chapter's Story

Chapter 10---According to the MANGA version---

Akira Fujimiya is visiting the home of her very special and intimate friend, Rumi Watai. This Akira does quite often now. However, when Akira rings the doorbell to Rumi's house, Rumi's older sister, Michiru, answers the door. " Welcome! Long time, no see! " Michiru invites Akira in, but immediately glomps her, giving her a real bear hug ! Michiru also gushes forth a pair of comments---" You hair is so silky smooth and shiny! You are so, so cute! " Rumi comes upon the two and is aghast.

" **Not fair, Onee-chan** (Big Sister)! **I haven't even hugged Akira-chan yet** !", bursts out Rumi ! Both sisters are now hugging Akira to death ! " What's going on ? ", is all that Akira can manage to squeak out.

Apparently, both sisters have had a running gag going on for years now, wherein they take turns teasing one another. Akira became aware of this when she came to Rumi's house for the first time. Big sis Michiru would not leave the front room (she was being a pain in the a\*\* because of her period), so that Rumi and Akira could talk privately, so Rumi called her sister, " Melted Ice Cream! "

Finally retired to Michiru's bedroom, Rumi is fiddling with Akira's hairstyle again. Michiru is at her desk, doing high school homework. Rumi has her hair in a cute, sexy ponytail instead of her usual bun, and has it tied in back with a pretty ribbon. Rumi gathers Akira's longer hair into the same style of sexy ponytail, and ties it up with the same kind and color of ribbon. Both girls now match !

" It looks great on you, A-chan! ", gushes Rumi. *" A-chan? ",* inquires Akira ? Rumi coyly takes Akira's hand into hers, so that the two of them are now holding hands. " A nickname! Akira becomes *A-chan!* ", proclaims Rumi. Before Akira can protest anything, Rumi emphatically states that she, Akira, now has to pick a nickname for her, Rumi. Akira is a bit dumbfounded. " So you are Rumi Watai, so. . . . . . would make . . . . . . Wa ......Wa-chan! Right?", offers Akira. Rumi says that her nickname should definitely be something that is cuter sounding! " Then . . . . . Ru . . . . . Ru . . . . . Ruru-chan ? ", shyly questions A-chan. Rumi says that name is too embarrassing. Overhearing this so, so intimate conversation between the two friends, this becomes too much for Michiru. She slams her hands on the desk.

**" ARE YOU TWO YURI LOVERS ??? ",** belts out Michiru !!! " Rumi is being selfish, not fair ! I also want to cuddle with Akira-chan, too! " , spouts Michiru as she gets up from her desk and heads toward Rumi and Akira sitting on the floor. Rumi instinctively grabs Akira from behind, encircling her with her arms, and romantically presses Akira's body into her lap and chest.

**" NO WAY !!!** *Akira is mine !!!* Don't you need to concentrate on your college entrance exams ? " , commands Rumi ! " You're so mean ! ", Michiru mutters to herself as she dejectedly returns to her desk. Once again sitting at her desk, Michiru states, " If you're not gonna let me cuddle with Akira too, then both of you, GET OUT! "!

" Geez ! You only think of yourself ! ", mopes Rumi.

Just then the phone can be heard ringing. Rumi's Mom answers the call. With a tone of abject seriousness, Mom, still holding the phone, forcefully tells Akira-chan---

" *Uh, Akira-chan!* They say that your grandmother fell down and *was taken to the hospital* ! "

" What . . . . . . . . . ? ", is all that Akira can choke out. She thinks to herself that grandmother probably was taken to the same medical center where she had her check-up.

Rumi's Mom takes Akira to the place where the grandmother was taken after the accident. When they arrive, they inquire at the front desk. A female orderly has Mom and Akira follow her to the room where grandma is recuperating.

" **GRANDMA!** " , blurts out Akira. " **AKIRA!** ", retorts grandma resting in bed with her leg in a cast and sling. Grandma continues, " You come to see me ? No need to panic, it's just a simple broken bone. " " That's all ? I wish someone had told me ! " , remarks a sweaty and out of breath Akira. The woman in the adjoining bed asks if Akira is the grandchild ? Akira answers that, yes, she is. The woman then abruptly and boldly comments that she is ***such a cute granddaughter** !* Akira's Mom has already been here, and is talking to the orderly at the door's threshold.

After a while, Mom takes Akira to the hospital wing's lobby. " Grandma said that she fell off of a chair. ", intones Mom to Akira. Now in the lobby, Mom gets a drink from a vending machine, as they fill in Akira on what happened. She will have surgery in two or three days, followed by rehab, and then should be out in two or three weeks. Mom continues, " On the days when I have night shift ............ " Akira cuts her off with the question, " Surgery ? Is grandma hurt that bad ? " Yes, replies Mom. This is so that grandma can walk again. Akira thinks to herself that how can everyone act so ho-hum ? What if something goes wrong and she dies ?

Soon, a nurse comes into the lobby. Why, it's Nurse Okabe, the nurse that tends to Akira during her check-ups! Nurse Okabe asks Akira if she is visiting a patient ? Akira explains the situation. Nurse Okabe says that she understands that Akira is here because of what happened to her grandmother. At this time Mom enters the lobby. Nurse Okabe says that she will do everything that she can to help. Mom thanks the nurse. Meanwhile, Akira is thinking to herself, thinking that grandma is really going to have surgery ? For a second time the thought crosses her mind, what if something goes wrong and she dies ?

Next, the nurse then mentions that she sees that Akira's hair is tied up in an attractive ponytail, and did she do it herself ? Akira remarks that her friend did it for her, as she does not now know how to do hair. The nurse offers that next time, how about she teach Akira how to tie up hair ?

**" Ahem ! "** With a sour face, Mom says that Akira's appearance isn't by choice ! And you, the nurse, should know about my ***son's*** condition, right ? Nurse Okabe apologizes. Akira silently, but earnestly, thinks to herself that she really does not hate being a girl ......... but she can't say that out loud to correct Mom right now .......... Akira's heart begins pounding like a tom-tom drum ..........

Next day is a school day, so Akira is to be found in her homeroom class, telling herself that despite the fact that grandma is in the hospital, she still has to go to school. She sees an empty desk. Rumi must not be here yet.

" Akira-chan ! C'mere ! C'mere ! You're not with Rumi today !"

A girl that Akira has only occasionally seen before approaches her. This girl is extremely attractive, wearing a white silk turtleneck shirt, a plaid, pleated mini-skirt, black tights, white athletic shoes, and a fashionable jacket overall. The attractive girl's name is Mayu Ishii. She offers to have Akira sit down at her desk, because there is so much that Mayu wants to talk to her about. Akira reminds herself that she has not talked much with this girl. " Your hair is not in a ponytail ", is Mayu's first comment. " Well, Rumi is the one who does it for me ", is Akira's comeback. Akira now looks directly at Mayu, and her first impression of Mayu is that Mayu's mini-skirt is so short that it barely covers her hips and behind ! Mayu becomes nosy, asking what Akira and Rumi were doing together all this time ? Akira matter-of-factly states that they make sweets together, chat, do girly stuff like that. Akira thinks to herself that Mayu seems to be prying into her personal affairs. Why? Another cute girl, with her hair in twin tails (Chika), and wearing a hoodie and a mini-skirt, comes up to Akira and Mayu and first greets the two with a 'Good Morning'. Then she asks when did you two become such good friends ? " **Just now !** " , answers Mayu. *Please come quickly, Rumi,* is all that Akira can think of to try and calm her squeamish and confused mind.

That afternoon, after classes, Akira is called to the Teacher's Lounge. There, she is directed to the school's student counselor. The counselor wants to know if Akira's grandmother is all right ? Yes, for now, replies Akira. She then offers an information packet and blank forms to Akira. The counselor says that she knows that this is a bad time for Akira, but will she please read this information, and fill out the admission papers so that we can submit them to that special school in Kyoto. Not all the personal question have to be answered. Going to that alternate school in Kyoto would reduce the *undue burden* on you, Akira.

" ....okay.... " , mutters Akira. However, she thinks to herself, " What *undue burden* .......??? " Akira excuses herself by bowing at the door and saying that she will not take up any more of the school counselor's time. Akira continues to silently question herself. " I wonder if the teachers here think of me as a *burden*, too ? Lately, for some odd reason, Mom has been trying to help make it so that ***I*** ( lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) can live as a boy. Is it somehow because I am supposedly being a burden that grandma's leg was broken ? Is that it ? In the school hallway, Akira begins to silently cry.

After school, Akira goes to the hospital. In grandma's room she finds several other women, and other than the hairdresser, she does not know any of them. Strangers! They politely greet Akira, and ask grandmother if she is her granddaughter ? Then one woman remarks just how cute and attractive she is! The lady in the next bed says that her grandchildren have never come to visit her. One of the strangers invites Akira to sit next to her, and talk to us old folks. A nervous Akira stammers--- " ***I*** ( lit. Watashi {feminine}) ....... Ah ....... I'm fine ......... I ........ I don't mind standing ........ as she puts her hand up in the 'stop right now' hand sign. For some unfathomable reason, grandma's face morphs into a sly, guilty grin, something that Akira has not seen her ever do before. Akira notes that the hairdresser must be a friend of grandma's.

After a while, the hairdresser now says that she has to go, and tells Akira to come and get her hair done again sometime. She pats Akira on the head. Grandma now calls Akira to her bedside. Very quietly, like telling a secret, grandma tells Akira that she, Akira, does not have to go out of her way to come and visit her. This because if you come, like it or not, *you will be treated* *like a girl !* A shocked and stunned Akira goes silent, then deftly slips out of the room and trudges down the hallway, again silently thinking and questioning herself about what is recently happening to her socially.

" Stop turning into a girl . . . . . . . ***NO!!!*** No way am I giving that up ! Becoming a girl . . . . . . . hiding that I used to be a boy. . . . . . . . . growing my hair out to be long like a girl's . . . . . . . and behaving like a girl, acting ever so girly . . . . . . . I didn't dislike any of that at all . . . . . . . . I wonder if it is weird that ***I*** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) didn't hate it, not at all. . . . . . . . is it all that strange not to dislike being a girl . . . . . . . . . ?!?!?

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

Has Akira reached a 'tipping point' in that she admits to herself that she is not opposed to being a girl the rest of her life, versus bending to Mom's will and detransitioning back to boyhood ?

## What Manga Fans Are Saying About This Chapter

**Tiny Anvil / 4 months ago**

Rumi Watai is a small mercy that the m[ain] c[haracter, Akira] needs! Cant wait to see the potential drama [certainly to happen!]

**Phantop / 5 days ago**

I find it interesting that this manga is managing to lean a little into trans[gender] themes even with the involuntary change aspect. Most stories of this ilk go against everything we know about gender, so it's a nice change of pace. Can't wait to see where this goes.

**TakeiDaloui / 3 days ago**

Yeah. Plus with everything going on, and her age, too, making it an uncertain time, all the pressure she's under thinking she has to fit in or meet these [other people's] expectations, the fact her father left ages back likely related to this, and being caught between what she wants, she's finding it so tough to say anything.

To be fair on the mother and grandmother, they don't really get yet that Akira is not minding the change. Bear in mind that initially the kid was very boyish and associated that way, and when their gender changed they were distraught about it. So they currently see the way they are [as a girl] and act as them hiding themselves, trying to fit in and do stuff they aren't uncomfortable with. The grandmother here didn't want Akira coming [to the hospital] because she was worried that she wouldn't like how she is being treated, and Akira has yet to have the confident to admit that they are happy as they are right now.

**Smiley Guy / 4 days ago**

I think a lot of people are ignoring the fact that Akira was not happy in the slightest when his gender got changed out of nowhere, and since now Akira can't seem to find a chance to tell them she's not actually really unconfortable with her current condition, we can't really blame neither mom or grandma for not understanding Akira.

**skilodracus / 4 days ago**

I feel so bad for this poor child. What happens if her mother refuses to embrace her new identity, like she [Akira] has? There are some heavy trans[gender] themes here!

**BuffCookie / 4 days ago**

I feel like the mother is secretly resentful her son turned in to a daughter. This is going to go very poorly, very soon.

**Kino280 / 5 days ago**

This is f\*cking me up, man. It’s like every time the MC [Akira] gets a little bit of happiness, it just gets wrestled away. What’s worse is the Mom and Grandma probably got good intentions about it. I wonder when MC will speak up.

**tsukukihime / 5 days ago**

OMG! AKIRA PLEASE FIND HAPPINESS OR ELSE I WILL DIE FROM HEARTBREAK!!!

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

(Click on Chapter 11 to be taken to the next chapter.)

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_