Mayo

## Mayonnaise

**Mayonnaise**, also known as **Mayo**, **Honkypaste, Slurm, Slime,** and occasionally **Lorby's Pearls**, is an ancient substance within the Deepest of the Oceanosphere, the first secretion of mammalian fat. It is not known where the Original Mayonnaise came from, though Lorbyists claim it was Lorby who swat the fat out after his creation of the Lorbyrealm in exasperation. However, there have been known pieces of lore where ancient tribes spoke of a Mayonnaise Beyond the Claw, a proto-Mayo from some [REDACTED].

### Mayo in the Early Ocean Times

Mayo was a powerful thing to eat; full of fat and protein, mayonnaise permitted even the littlest shrimpling to become the chadmost Larry Lobster. Thus, when Lorby disappeared from the Ocean's Great Depth, many crustaceans, worms, and humans began gobbling up the mysterious mayo. The biggest among them became mighty warlords, and waged wars across the everywhere.

Worms had faced a wormageddon, Crustaceans were forced into the sea, and Men were split apart to hate and fear one another and everything else too.

But the Mayo remained.

After the turbulence of the great Clawbberin', the Burger Heresy, and the sightings of Lorby's Claw, Mayo's role in the Lorbiverse changed from just being a healing poultice of the panini into a source of combat - of desolation and war.

## The Schism of the Mayo

### Background; White Mayo

White Mayo is the original, the classic. Great on sandwiches and will make tummy happy! In mundane parts of the multiverse, Mayonnaise is "an emulsion of oil, egg yolk, and an acid, either vinegar or lemon juice" according to Wikipedia. While this is partially true, the story behind this is tragic.

The trinity of the ingredients marks a dark ripple of the war between the worms, humans, and crustaceans, respectively.

"White Mayo" however, is not the same as Helman's from Wal-Mart. This ancient gel is found deep in the Oceans, the Pearls of Pearls. However, the contemporary rarity of the once-abundant "jewel of the Deep" is due to the machinations of Dr. Phil and Mikhail Zeegurke's rivalry, and Mario Salarmo's disregard for the environment.

### The Green Mayo and the Yellow Mayo

When Lorby's defiant disciple - Slarth Piteous - grew jealous of his master's power, he began to work dark alchemy on multiple ton's worth of mayo. Upon shattering the Mayocule into the green dimension, Slarth Piteous had invented a cruel new weapon. This vile concoction, upon [FORMULA EXPUNGED], will create the vile slurm known as **Green Mayo**.

During a time well after Slaridar's Campaign against the Gurken Empire, his son became a prominent scholar and television personality in the TV realm; Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil had been one of the first people to cover and firsthand-witness the Duel Between Lorby and Piteous. The explosion of Green Mayo caused everyone within 2.8576 SqTb to phlurm their pants, if not shmee outright. After Lorby's decisive victory, Dr. Phil contemplated on the Pit Lord's invention, hiring interdimensional contractor and terror Mario Salarmo to steal the recipe from the Castle of the Piteous.

With the recipe in hand and a few sample, Dr. Phil went to a laboratory for several hydrocycles, and perfected his own cruel schism of the Mayo - Yellow Mayonnaise. When Green Mayo is reintroduced into White Mayo, and [FURTHER DATA EXPUNGED], the Mayocules "Assify", making the Mayo smell like ASS! This was displayed to the Lorby due to the graces of Slaridar's service to the Chiton Lord, and impressed Lorby greatly - and infuriated the Pit Lord.

### The Mayovid-19 Bruhdemic

During the creation of Mountain Doo, Mario Salarmo did not follow any of the regulations of soda making, and thus used ingredients such as [REDACTED]. While this could have been destructive thousands of times over for the mundane world alone, the method of distillation using [REDACTED] caused an anomalous reaction with White Mayo, turning it into crap! This Mayo disease is called Mayovid-19, as it was first smelled on the 19th era.