Captain Swackhammer, Admiral Ganondorf, Assistant Captain Bowser, their Pirates, and the Krokorok/Neverland’s Greatest Criminal Minds

*(In Neverland, which is a beautiful small island, was a pirate ship docked in the south lagoon. And on board, all the pirates are heard singing)*

Pirates: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**A-rovin’ over the sea**

**Give me a career**

**As a buccaneer**

**It’s the life of a pirate for me**

**Oh, a life of a pirate for me**

*(On the ship, there were various villains on board, doing their usual business such as swabbing the deck and doing busy things, and they were Captain Swackhammer, Admiral Ganondorf, and Assistant Captain Bowser’s crew. And here comes the introductions. There is a short, muscular, slightly-chubby man with white eyes and black pupils, thick black eyebrows, short brown hair, a black zigzag mustache, a pink nose, and wearing a yellow cap with a white spot on the front with a purple upside down M on it, white gloves, a yellow short-sleeved shirt underneath a pair of magenta overall pants with white buttons, and green elf-like shoes. He is Wario. The second crew member is a tall, skinny man with white eyes and black pupils, thick black eyebrows, short brown hair, a skinny black mustache with the ends pointing up, and wearing a purple cap with a white spot on the front with a yellow upside down L on it, white gloves, a purple long-sleeved shirt underneath a pair of navy blue overall pants with yellow buttons, and orange elf-like shoes. He is Waluigi, Wario's little brother. The third crew member is a tall male figure with dark blue skin, yellow eyes, and wearing a large white top hat, a blue and white sleeveless cloak held by a ruby brooch, a white long-sleeved suit, a pair of white gloves, a monocle, and sometimes carried a scepter with a blue diamond on it. He is Count Bleck. The fourth crew member is a short male joker-looking guy wearing a violet and golden joker hat with three yellow jewels, a violet and golden long-sleeved cloak, black pants, black shoes, hot pink lipstick, black gloves and a black and white mask with yellow eyes. He is Dimentio. The fifth crew member is a white-skinned man with a long white beard, and wearing white gloves, a black helmet with a glass dome sheltering something resembling the inside of a computer room, a black long-sleeved robe with magenta trimming, gold goggles with cyan lenses, a black cape with a high collar and gold yellow trimming, and a white sleeveless long tunic with red triangular patterns, and sometimes carried a gold scepter with a glass ball sheltering what might be the inside of a computer room. He is Sir Grodus. The sixth crew member is a short, fat man with black skin, and wearing a black long-sleeved shirt with a big white X on the front, white gloves, gold goggles with cyan lenses, a spiky red neck ruff, a purple cap with horns on either side, a spiky red cape, purple pants, and black elf-like shoes. He is Lord Crump. The seventh crew member is a male black and purple zigzag vampire/bat-like creature with yellow eyes and wearing a purple cape with red trimming, and a purple bat wing brooch holding the cape up. He is Antasma, the fighter of the crew. The eight crew member is a woman who is quite tall, appearing to be about twice the height of the Mario Brothers, with green skin, like most members of the Beanish species, large, pink eyes, an elongated head with a large mouth and jagged teeth, an India-style bead on her forehead, large purple horn-like objects on top of her head, and wearing a large, purple, long-sleeved robe with a pink sleeveless undergarment and yellow sleeve rims, with the sleeves of her cloak revealing to be very large and roughly frayed on the edges and are somewhat reminiscent of bat wings. She is Cackletta. The ninth crew member is a male Beanbean creature with green skin, a bald head with a tuft of black hair, swirly blue eyes, and wearing black glasses, a red long-sleeved shirt, black pants, a red cape with a dark gray interior and gold lining, and dark green boots. He is Fawful, Cackletta’s henchman. The tenth crew member is a male green humanoid bean creature with yellow eyes and wearing a black beret hat with a green top, a purple eyemask, a purple and light purple striped long-sleeved shirt, white gloves, black pants, and black shoes. He is Popple, the shadow thief of the crew. The eleventh crew member is a mutant chimpanzee with a huge brain sticking out of his head, black fur, green skin, pink eyes, and is wearing a white helmet over his brain with purple one zigzag lines around it and a metal rim with purple jewels around it, blue sleeveless tunic, a white belt with a purple upside-down triangle buckle, white gloves, a big purple cape, and white boots. He is Mojo Jojo, the inventor of the crew. The twelfth crew member is a pink furry creature with a light orange skin on the face, a big green nose, two gray pom-poms on the two black stringed antennas, and is wearing blue overalls and brown boots. He is Fuzzy Lumpkins, a temperamental brute force and banjo player of the crew. The thirteenth crew member is a red demon-like creature with green eyes, short black headwear like a swimcap, a black curly goatee, and dark red lobster-like claws, and is wearing a blood red sleeveless tunic with pink curly rims, a black belt with an orange buckle, and black leg length boots. He is Him, the manipulating, riddle-maker member of the crew with a high feminine-like demon voice when happy or sad, and a deep menacing demon voice when angry. The fourteenth crew member is a white-skinned woman with long black snake-like hair, freckles on her cheeks, green eyes, and red lips, and is wearing a red sleeveless jumpsuit with black leg netting, red arm gloves, and red long boots. She is Sedusa, the greedy seductress and treasure hunter of the crew. The fifteenth crew member is a 5 year old girl with short red curly hair tied in curly pigtailed buns, freckles on her cheeks, and wearing a gold crown with a red jewel, a yellow sleeveless dress with a black lining, black long gloves, white stockings, and black boots. She is Princess Morbucks, the rich greedy loudmouthed spoiled brat of the crew. The sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth crew members are three teal-colored amoeba-like creatures, and the leader is wearing a gray fedora hat with a black band, the tall skinny one is wearing a brown fedora hat with a black band, and the small one is wearing a black Kangol hat worn backwards. They are the Amoeba Boys, the dimwitted, brainless gangsters of the crew. The nineteenth crew member is a man with a bald head, a medium sized pink nose, a big orange mustache, and wearing silver goggles on his bald head, dark blue sunglasses, a red long-sleeved, scientist-like jacket with white linings and yellow buttons and rims, white gloves, a red cape, a black long-sleeved bodily jumpsuit underneath, and black boots with white soles and laces. He is Dr. Eggman, also the inventor of the crew. The twentieth crew member is male robot with red orb-like armor and light blue eyes. He is Orbot, a robot who sometimes likes to be sarcastic towards his boss and acts as the other crew’s brains. The twenty-first crew member is male robot with yellow cube-like armor and light blue eyes. He is Cubot, a robot who is not very smart at times and usually acts like a cowboy, a gangster, and a pirate with his glitchy voice box at times. The twenty-second crew member is female robot with blue pyramid-like armor and light blue eyes. She is Tribot, a robot who usually acts at the voice of reason whenever the two male robots argue. The twenty-fourth crew member is crystal hedgehog resembling Shadow the Hedgehog with black, white, and purple shading all over his body, red eyes, and green snake-like pupils and no mouth and nose. He is Mephiles the Dark, also the fighter of the crew. The twenty-fifth crew member is a male jackal with black fur, white markings on his back and tip of his tail, white tendril-like hair, red eyes, and yellow pupils, and wearing a silver metal half helmet over his face with his left eye exposed only and his right eye covered by a black bolt-shaped visor-like screen and metal bat-like ears with the interior colored black and white ringed, a white neck bandana, a red upside-down triangle-shaped ruby brooch on his chest, black gloves, and silver and black armored boots. He is Infinite. The twenty-sixth crew member is a male anthro rat with pale brown fur (With a gray 5:00 shadow), short black combed hair, a long pink red rat tail sticking out of his rear side of his pants, and a big pink nose, and wearing a black opera-like suit, a black cape with red trimming, a pink and purple striped tie, white opera gloves, a gray sleeveless button-up vest, black pants, and black shoes. He is Professor Ratigan. The twenty-sixth crew member is a. He is King Goobot. The twenty-seventh crew member is a small, green alien has snail-like violet eyes, and copper robotic hands, and wearing a purple cap (With a small, white light bulb on top) and a purple long-sleeved robe (Both with gold trimming). He is Ooblar, Goobot's little brother. And the last crew member is a male satyr-like creature with gray skin, light gray nail claws and toes, a long, monkey-like tail, glowing cyan eyes with black pupils, black stone wristbands, a black Viking-styled helmet with long horns, and black sleeveless armor with glowing cyan lightning-shaped symbols, and sometimes carried a crooked mauve scepter with a glowing cyan gem. He is the Storm King. Anyway, once the crew was done doing their works, they, except Eggman, Orbot, Cubot, and Tribot, went up to a Captain’s headquarter door with a crude drawing of their captain on it in an angry mood. The reason why they are angry: They want to leave Neverland and forget about killing Mario and Luigi Pan, Lubba, and Link and they are sick of being stuck on the island. As they sang, they began to angrily throw knives at the drawing on the door)*

Pirates: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**They never bury your bones**

**For when it’s all over**

**A jolly sea roger**

**Drops in on his friend**

**Davy Jones**

**Oh....**

*(Then, the door opens to reveal eight mutant animals emerging. The first mutant is a male mutant kangaroo with blue fur, a light blue underbelly, brown eyes with red and yellow swirls, a black nose, and wearing a white straightjacket. He is Ripper Roo, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's first mate. The second mutant is a male mutant muscular koala with gray fur, black ears with the pink interior, a tiny black hair sprout on top of his head, a black tuft fur sticking out of his chest, brown eyes, a black nose, and black claws and wearing a red tanktop, orange fingerless boxing gloves, black bracelets with white spikes around them, and orange pants with a dark yellow string supporting it. He is Koala Kong, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's second mate. The third mutant is a male mutant potoroo with brown fur, a cream underbelly, black slick hair with a curl in the back, a pink interior in the ears, a black nose, and wearing a red long-sleeved business suit with orange trims over a green long-sleeved shirt, a black necktie, black fingerless gloves, a black belt, red pants, and black shoes and sometimes wielded a tommy gun. He is Pinstripe Potoroo, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's third mate. The fourth and fifth mutants are two male mutant komodo dragons with green scales, yellow eyes, yellow underbellies, spiky tails, and sharp claws and teeth, with the skinny one having three fingers and a thumb and three toes and the chubby one having two fingers and a thumb and two toes, and both wearing yellow Arabic cup-like helmet with a metal spike on top, a purple head cloak underneath, and a white sleeveless long tunic underneath a magenta long-sleeved Arabic robe that is open, and both sometimes wields Arabian swords. They are Komodo Joe and Komodo Moe AKA the Komodo Brothers, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's fourth and fifth mates. The sixth mutant is a male half gorilla half kangaroo mutant with peach skin, brown fur, brown eyes, black eyebrows, a thick strong brown tail with a small peach underbelly, and wearing red and white striped pants and a black leather belt with a gold buckle. He is Rilla Roo, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's sixth mate. The seventh mutant is a male mutant Tasmanian tiger with orange fur, yellow eyes, a big black nose, thick blackish-brown eyebrows, tan markings at the muzzle, chest, and stomach, sharp white teeth, pointed white claws, triangular ears, a brown tuft on his long tail, and brown stripes on his back fur and wearing a gold gladiator helmet, a gold armored arm gauntlet on his right arm, brown shoulder pads with silver spikes, silver metal bracelets, a brown suspender belt around the torso, a green leopard-spotted loincloth, and red and white converse shoes, and sometimes wielded a trident. He is Tiny Tiger, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's seventh mate. And the last mutant is a male half crocodile half dingo mutant with brown fur, brown eyes, a pig-like nose, sharp teeth, cream markings at the muzzle, chest, stomach, palms, toes, and undersides of his arms, a long, thick, tapering, green tail with an olive green underside and white spikes, triangular ears with black ear innards, and wearing tan pants and sometimes carried a flamethrower. He is Dingodile, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser's eighth mate. As they exited the captain and admiral’s headquarters, with Pinstripe carrying a tray with a shaving kit, they finished singing the song with the pirates too)*

Mates and pirates: **Oh, my good friend**

**Davy Jones**

*(Unaware of how angry the crew is, the mates greeted them happily)*

Komodo Brothers: Good morning, shipmates!

Ripper: It’s a beautiful morning!

Mates: Yeah!

*(Suddenly, Drake roughly yanked the mates up to them)*

Drake: And what’s good about it, Ripper, Koala, Pinstripe, Komodo Brothers, Tiny, Dingodile, and Rilla, especially when we’re on this island?! There’s nothing good about it!

*(He tossed Tiny aside, bumping him into Ripper and Rilla. Wario and Waluigi then grabbed Dingodile and the Storm King pointed his staff's blade at Dingodile’s belly)*

Storm King: Here we are, collecting barnacles on this miserable island!

Wario: Not to mention no treasure to steal whatsoever!

Waluigi: Exactly!

*(He released Dingodile. As Dingodile recovered, Pinstripe was about to snap back when his nose got caught in Fuzzy’s gun)*

Fuzzy: While his captainship and admiralship plays ring around the rosy with Mario Pan!

Grodus: And one of his Lost Yoshi friends of his is more annoying than a talking macaw.

Crump: Heck, one time they beat us, that friend wouldn’t shut up on his gloating on us!

Dimentio, Antasma, and Cackletta: He's right!

Pinstripe: Look out there, it might go off!

*(Pinstripe freed his nose from Fuzzy’s gun and stumbled back)*

Koala: Well, excuse us for…!

*(Suddenly, Sedusa tied the mates’ necks up with her snake-like hair strands and barely hung them)*

Sedusa: We want to get back to the business of looting ships!

*(After dropping them with her hair, Mephiles and Infinite then came up to them with their machetes)*

Infinite: Why, I even almost forgot to slit a throat!

Mephiles: Especially when it comes to making our enemies like garbage in a dump!

*(They sliced their machetes in the air as if slitting a throat in front of the mates, who recovered. After recovering, the mates glared at them)*

Pinstripe: Why not lash out at the captain and the admiral instead about your problems?!

Rilla: That way….

Mojo Jojo: Because they will punish us with death!

Morbucks: Especially with their pet Piranha Plant, Petey Piranha!

Ratigan: I don’t like to be plant bait at all!

Him: (High feminine voice) Me neither. It wouldn’t be pleasant *(In demonic voice)* to be eaten!

Dingodile: So what?!

Joe: Go talk to them!

Amoeba Bossman: Talk about what?

Amoeba Slim and Amoeba Shorty: Yeah, what?

Bleck: About leaving Neverland.

Amoeba Boys: Oh, that! Yeah!

Moe: Talk to them, pretty please?

Fawful: (Throwing his knife at them) Why don't you finkrats better drop it to them?!

*(The mates dodged the knife. Then the crew began throwing their knives at them, making them dodge them too as they hurried up the stairs)*

Popple: Tell him we want to go back to sea, see?!

*(On “See,” he throws his dagger at the Komodo Brothers, but the two dodged, and then the knife flipped a bucket full of garbage and crashed on Tiny. Then as the pirates laughed sneeringly at them, the mates glared at them while Tiny removed the bucket off himself and cleaned himself off. They then secretly stuck their tongues out at them and walked away with Pinstripe still carrying the shaving kit tray. Once on the way to their captain and admiral, they began talking)*

Pinstripe: The crew is so immature!

Ripper: Ooh, I agree!

Koala: (Mockingly) “Why don't you finkrats better drop it to them?” *(In his real angry voice)* Who does he and the crew think they are?!

Brooklyn-accented voice: Let me guess. They picked on you again?

*(They stopped and noticed five green teenage boys, five monster-like aliens, a vampire-type Digimon, a woman, and a dark-looking boy. The first green boy is a tall skinny green 17 year old boy with short black hair, and is wearing black sunglasses, red, white, and blue striped wristbands, a blue and orange ski vest over a white baseball shirt with long purple sleeves, yellow pants, and black shoes. He is Ace D. Copular, leader of the Gangreen Gang. The second is a snake-like green 15 year old boy with a spiky nose, short black chin-length hair, pink eyes, black lips, a dark green forked tongue, and black catlike pupils, and is wearing a brown Kangol hat, a white tanktop with black rims and a yellow stripe around the torso, black and yellow striped wristbands, orange shorts, white socks, and black and white converse shoes. He is Sanford D. Ingleberry AKA Snake, the slippery member of the Gangreen Gang, who speaks like a snake and is always Ace’s punching bag whenever he accidentally falls out of line. The third is a short green 14 year old midget boy with a Spanish accent, short black emo-like hair covering his left eye, and is wearing a red shirt over a white long-sleeve shirt, black pants and black shoes. He is Li'l Arturo de la Guerra, the shortest member of the Gangreen Gang. The fourth is an ape-like green 15 year old boy with an oval-shaped head, snail-like eyes, short black hair, and a tongue lolling out of his mouth, and is wearing a dark red ripped shirt, and brown ripped pants with a rope tied around the waist for support. He is Grubber J. Gribberish, the gross member of the Gangreen Gang who has a talent to imitate people and many other things. The last one is a huge fat green 15 year old boy with short orange hair covering his blue cyclops eye and a buck tooth, and is wearing a dark green shirt with two yellow striped rims on the sleeves with the belly sticking out, blue pants with the ankle rims rolled up, a black belt with a yellow buckle, and black and white shoes. He is Big William W. Williams AKA Big Billy, the brawny member of the Gangreen Gang. The five monster-like aliens are a big male orange alien and looks like a monster version of Charles Barkley, a small little muscular male red alien and looks like a monster version of Muggsy Bogues, a tall big male blue alien with short dark blue hair and looks like a monster version of Shawn Bradley, a big male green alien with a hunched back and short orange hair and looks like a monster version of Patrick Ewing, and a big purple alien with a small dark purple palm tree-like hair and looks like a monster version of Larry Johnson. They are Pound, Nawt, Blanko, Bang, and Bupkus respectively, and they consist the Monstars. And all five of these aliens are muscular and wearing black basketball tanktops with the white zero on the front and back, black basketball shorts, with both the tanktops and shorts having yellow rims, white socks, and black and white converse shoes. The vampire-type Digimon is a vampire-like man with short dirty blonde hair, red eyes, pointy ears, sharp vampire canines, and pale gray skin, and wearing a red bat-shaped eye mask, a blue long-sleeved jumpsuit with red bat symbols on his shoulders, yellow buttons and rims, olive green belts on the waist, green sleeve rims with yellow buttons, a yellow bat shaped brooch holding a black cape with red trimming, gray gloves with light gray bat symbols on them, and black boots with silver skull symbols on the feet. He is Myotismon. The woman is a woman with pale blue eyes, light purple short spiky hair, and is wearing a dark purple tunic with a right arm sleeve over a red bodily jumpsuit, a metal armor gauntlet on the left arm by her hand, red fingerless gloves, a light purple belt, red knee-high boots, and sometimes carried dark brown scanner sunglasses to wear at times. She is Hunter J, Myotismon's wife. And the dark-looking boy is a male teenage boy wearing his black armor-like helmet with a black glass dome, and mostly wore a black and red bodily vein-like tunic, red gauntlets, black gloves, a dark red belt around the waist, and two dark red belts criss-crossing in front underneath the first belt, black and red vein-like pants, pale dark red leg boots, and sometimes carries a black and red evil-looking Keyblade with two blue reptile-like eyes. He is Vanitas, Myotismon and Hunter J's son. Anyway, the other mates recognized them casually)*

Mates: Yeah.

Tiny: Treated like garbage, Ace.

Snake: I sssaw the whole thing with Tiny. It wassss kind of funny!

*(Snake hissed laughed a little like a snake. Ace glared daggers at him)*

Ace: Funny, eh?

*(He turned to the other Gangreen Gang members)*

Ace: Big Billy, do you think it’s funny like Snake does?

Big Billy: Duh, no way.

Ace: (To Billy) Good. *(To Grubber)* Do you, Grubber, think it’s funny?

*(Grubber replies “no” with just a raspberry)*

Ace: (To Grubber) Good. *(To Arturo)* Li’l Arturo, what about you?

Arturo: (Laughs in agreement) Nope.

Ace: (To Arturo) Good. *(To Snake)* And do you think it’s still funny like you said?

Snake: Yesss, a little.

*(Ace smacks Snake, making him change his answer)*

Snake: I meanssss no. It’sss not funny, Bossssss.

*(Vanitas then took his helmet off, revealing his face. It looks like Sora's, but with almost pale skin, yellow eyes, and blackish gray short spiky hair)*

Vanitas: Exactly, Snake.

Ace: Yeah, exactly. Nobody, I mean nobody, makes fun of our mates like the other crew members do. Right?

Snake: (Agreeing with a smile) Yessss, Bossssss.

Dingodile: Anyway, let’s just go talk to the captain and the admiral about this and they’ll stop!

*(Then they continued to their captain and admiral with the Gangreen Gang, Monstars, Myotismon, Hunter J, and Vanitas going with them. On the top deck of the ship, the captain himself is reading a map of Neverland on his desk with a dark olive green-skinned man and a huge Koopa king looking with him. The captain is a male dark green fat ugly alien with yellow eyes, a cigar in his mouth, and a silver hook in place of his left hand, and is wearing a pink long-sleeved shirt, a purple long-sleeved business jacket, purple business pants, and dark gray flip-flop sandals. He is Mr. Swackhammer, or Captain Swackhammer as he’s called here. The dark olive green-skinned man with him has red eyes, short orange red hair, and wearing a red cape, and black, dark red, and silver armor. He is Ganondorf, admiral of the pirate crew and the King of Evil. And the huge Koopa king with them has short red hair, red eyes, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green and beige and the head has two white horns on each side, a yellow tail with white spikes, a huge green turtle-like shell with white spikes, and black cuffs with small white spikes around the neck, shoulders, and wrists. He is Bowser, king of the Koopa Troop and assistant captain to Swackhammer and Ganondorf. Anyway, Swackhammer and Ganondorf got annoyed and angry while they read the Neverland map on the desk while Bowser just sat there, bored-like)*

Swackhammer: Blast that Mario and Luigi Pan, and their friends, Lubba, Link, and Kirby, too!

Ganondorf: I completely agree, Swackhammer. If only we could find their hideout, we’d trap them in there!

*(He turned to Bowser)*

Ganondorf: Right, Bowser?

*(Bowser snapped out of his bored state and quickly agreed)*

Bowser: I know, Ganondorf.

Swackhammer: But where is it?

Ganondorf: Hmm, Mermaid Lagoon? No, we searched there already. And we combed Cannibal Cove.

*(Bowser suddenly noticed a spot on the map’s western part of the island)*

Bowser: (Pointing at it) How about here?

Swackhammer: No, no! That’s Final Fantasy ter...!

*(Ganondorf suddenly stopped him and began to change his mind)*

Ganondorf: But what if we…?

*(He whispers in Swackhammer’s ear, and Swackhammer smiled evilly on this while Bowser got confused)*

Swackhammer: Wait a minute. That’s it. Good idea, Ganondorf. Those "Final Fantasy" heroes know this island than we do on our own ship.

*(Swackhammer and Ganondorf began to ponder)*

Swackhammer: I wonder….

Ganondorf: Yeah….

Bowser: (Confused) What is it?

*(Then, the mutants, the Gangreen Gang, Myotismon, Hunter J, and Vanitas arrived as Pinstripe placed the shaving kit tray on a nearby barrel. Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser, while still thinking of an idea, noticed them briefly)*

Komodo Brothers: Good morning, Captain and Admiral!

Ripper: It’s a beautiful morning!

Mates: Yeah

Ace: Same thing you said before to the crew.

*(The Gangreen Gang giggled in agreement with Ace. Suddenly, Swackhammer and Ganondorf got an idea that they shouted out, startling the mates)*

Swackhammer: I got it!

Ganondorf: Yes! Perfect! What is it?

*(The captain and admiral turned to Bowser and the mates)*

Swackhammer: We’ll ask Pauline!

Tiny: (Confused) Pauline, Captain?

Swackhammer: You know, Chief Cloud Strife's daughter.

Ganondorf: They’ll know where the Marios and their friends are hiding.

*(The Gangreen Gang, except Ace, and the Komodo Brothers, however were unsure of this)*

Ace: Cool idea!

Snake: But what makesssss you think she’ll talk?

Arturo: If I recall correctly, she’s the Marios’ group's *amigos*.

Ace: Shut up, you wimps!

Swackhammer: (Shrugging them off) Meh, a little persuasion can help.

Ganondorf: Now, what torture shall we think of?

Koala: Boiling in oil?

Swackhammer: Nah, too hot.

Billy: How about keelhauling?

Swackhammer: No! We’re not injuring her!

Hunter J: I know of a lady-like torture!

Swackhammer: (Sarcastically) Why am I not surprised?

Hunter J: How about marooning?

Myotismon: She has an excellent point.

Swackhammer: No!

Ganondorf: That’s stupid.

*(They suddenly got an idea)*

Swackhammer: I know! We’ll try marooning her!

Ganondord: My sentiments exactly!

*(Hunter J groans while slapping her hand on her forehead in annoyance, for it was her idea. Suddenly, they heard a voice singing badly. They looked up and saw near the crow’s nest Cubot singing badly while playing on his accordion. Next to him, Eggman, Orbot, and Tribot are covering their ears, if Orbot and Tribot had any ears, to block out the horrible singing)*

Cubot: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**You’ll find adventure and sport**

**But late every minute**

**For all that is in it**

*(Even Swackhammer and Ganondorf were annoyed by the bad singing. Bowser and the mates, on the other hand, just ignored his bad singing. Eggman gestured Swackhammer and Ganondorf to make Cubot stop)*

Cubot: **The life of a pirate**

**Is shoooooooort**

**Oh, the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....**

*(Getting Eggman’s gestures, Swackhammer pulled his gun out and Ganondorf conjured up a fireball and they both shot the accordion out of Cubot’s hands, making it fall into the water, splashing Ace in the process)*

Ace: (Through gritted teeth) I hate getting wet!

*(Snake laughed at him at first until Ace smacked him, making him stop. Cubot shouted down to Swackhammer and Ganondorf in anger)*

Cubot: Hey! What’s the big idea?! I was just singing a song here! I was just almost done when you shot at me!

Swackhammer: Well, next time, sing better!

Ganondorf: And deal with it!

*(Angrily, Cubot, while climbing down with Eggman, Orbot, and Tribot, climbed down to the other side of the ship as well while he mumbled in anger. After they were gone, Swackhammer puts the gun away and changed the subject with Ganondorf)*

Swackhammer: Now, where were we?

Ganondorf: Before we were interrupted….

Bowser: Wow, Captain Swackhammer and Admiral Ganondorf. Shooting the accordion out of Cubot’s hands in the middle of his cadenza?

Komodo Brothers: *(Laughs)* That ain’t good form, you know.

*(The mutants got shocked on what the Komodo Brothers said and tried to shush them, but it was too late. Swackhammer and Ganondorf heard him and turned to them calmly at first)*

Swackhammer: Good form, Joe and Moe?

Gaonondorf: You don’t say?

*(They got angry and Swackhammer knocked the desk over)*

Ganondorf: Blast good form!

*(Swackhammer waves his hook in front of the mates angrily while Ganondorf went up to them in anger, showing four old teeth mark scratches on his left arm)*

Swackhammer: Did Mario show good form when he did this to us?!

Ganondorf: AND IT HURT, TOO!!

Bowser: Next time you want to say "Good form," say it at the right time next time!

*(The Komodo Brothers tried to calm them down in an apologetic way)*

Joe: Aw, Captain, Admiral. *(Giggles)* Mario cutting the captain’s hand off and getting the admiral’s arm injured were only a couple of childish pranks.

Moe: Along with Luigi and Link, considering that Bowser also almost got eaten.

Snake: In fact, they did to ssssssave their friendsssss and sssissster from you.

Ace: (Smacking Snake) Don’t make it worse!

Swackhammer: Yeah, well, he then threw my hand to that Krokorok!

Ganondorf: And after he ate it, one chomp from his chewing scarred my arm, due to those brats kicking me down to him, and bit our pet, Petey!

Bowser: Along with nearly being swallowed alive when I slipped and fell because of Ganondorf!

Swackhammer: And ever since then, that accursed beast, not to be confused with Petey, liked the taste of me, Ganondorf, and my pet so well, he’s been following us, licking his chops for the rest of me mostly.

*(As he and Ganondorf ranted about this, Swackhammer took off his business suit and walked around while he and Ganondorf calmed down. Pinstripe tried to seat Swackhammer in a chair and cover him with a blanket, but he kept missing. Finally, when Swackhammer and Ganondorf finished, Pinstripe seated Swackhammer in the chair and covered him in the blanket)*

Pinstripe: And he would’ve had you, the Admiral, and Petey by now, Captain. If he hadn’t swallowed the alarm clock.

Arturo: But when he is now near....

Koala: He’ll warn you immediately with his tick-tock, tick-tocking.

*(As Koala said “Tick-tock, tick-tocking” while Pinstripe starting to prepare the shaving kit, the sound of ticking is heard nearby. Ganondorf and the mates got surprised that he is coming now on cue, while Swackhammer and Bowser got fearful looks on their faces. Then, from beneath the water, near the ship, a beige alligator-like Ground/Dark type Pokemon with a mostly tan body, a pink stomach, a black back, a long tail, six thick, black stripes on its body (One at shoulder level, one around his midsection, one around his hips, and three on his tail (Each stripe is topped with a triangular spike on his back, and his stripes around its midsection cross two spikes, one on each side of his back)), short, thin arms with a black band around each one at the elbow, three short fingers (With white nail claws) on each hand, thick legs with a band around each ankle and a stripe above the knee that does not wrap around, flat feet each have three white nail claws, an ovoid head with a long snout, small eyes surrounded by a thick black membrane, four visible teeth overlapping his lower jaw, and black stripe on the bridge of the snout just behind his large nostrils emerged, looking up at Swackhammer and Ganondorf. That is Krokorok, the said Pokemon that is after Swackhammer, Ganondorf, Bowser, and Petey because of their delicious tastes, but mostly for Swackhammer and Ganondorf. As the captain and assistant captain shook in fear, the Krokorok licked his lips hungrily while drooling)*

Swackhammer: Guys....

Bowser: GUYS!!!!

*(Swackhammer jumped off the chair and, with Bowser, cowered behind Ganondorf and the mates)*

Ganondorf: Hey!

Swackhammer: Save me! Don’t let him get me!

Bowser: Go! Do something, now! I beg of you!

*(Ganondorf, while rolling his eyes, and the mates went up the railing, and began scolding the Krokorok)*

Ace: Now listen up, you!

Pinstripe: You should be ashamed of yourself!

Gangreen Gang except Ace: Yeah!

Vanitas: Who do you think you are scaring our captain and assistant captain?

Myotismon: There’ll be no handouts today!

Hunter J: Yeah, beat it!

Komodo Brothers: Please?

*(The Krokorok then begged like a dog. Ganondorf and the mates then shouted things like “Shoo now!” or “Go away!” and finally “Get out of here!” and the Krokorok glared at them and swam away. Cowering behind a chair, Swackhammer and Bowser took a peek)*

Swackhammer and Bowser: Is he gone?

Snake: Yeah, Captain and Assssssissssstant Captain.

Rilla: All clear.

*(Grubber blew his raspberry in agreement)*

Billy: Nothing to worry about.

*(Swackhammer and Bowser came out of hiding, but are still shaking in fear)*

Swackhammer: But guys, me and Bowser can’t stand it anymore! We can’t!

*(The Komodo Brothers calm the two down as they seated Swackhammer in the chair again and covered him in the blanket again)*

Joe: Now, relax, Captain.

Moe: What you need is a shave.

*(Moe then wrapped a towel around Swackhammer’s head)*

Komodo Brothers: A nice clean shave.

*(As Swackhammer calmed down underneath the towel, he fell asleep)*

Bowser: You two are seriously gonna shave him?

Komodo Brothers: Yep!

*(They then started singing while Ganondorf and Bowser walked away)*

Ganondorf: I’m going to get a drink.

Bowser: Right behind you.

Komodo Brothers: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**A-sailin’ over the sea**

**Give me a career**

**As a....**

*(At the same time the Komodo Brothers were singing, a seagull was flying by, when it noticed Swackhammer’s towel-wrapped head, and thinking it’s a nest, it laid on it. After it landed on the towel, the Komodo Brothers stopped singing when Dingodile spoke up upon noticing the seagull along with the other mates)*

Dingodile: Uh, Joe?

Joe: Not now. *(To Swackhammer)* Captain, we just can’t help but notice, you’re not your usual jolly self lately.

*(He then covered the seagull’s butt and tail with shaving cream, thinking it’s Swackhammer’s shadowed face. Ace tried to explain what’s going on)*

Ace: Joe, you’re actually….

Amoeba Bossman: Not now.

*(Moe then took a shaver, and he and Joe started singing)*

Komodo Brothers: **Give me a career**

**As a buccaneer....**

*(As Moe prepared the shaver, Joe suddenly remembered what the crew forcefully asked him and the mates, except the Gangreen Gang, to do about leaving Neverland, stopped singing and spoke up)*

Joe: And the crew’s getting really impatient, Captain.

Moe: That is, what’s left of them.

*(Moe then shaved the seagull’s butt and tail clean of its feathers. Annoyed by the Komodo Brothers’ idiotic method of shaving the seagull instead of Swackhammer’s shadowed face, the mates tried to speak up again)*

Mates except the Komodo Brothers: Komodo Brothers, you’re shaving the…!

Moe: (Getting angry and annoyed) Not now!

*(He calmed down and spoke to Swackhammer again)*

Moe: So why don’t we just sail away? Leave Neverland and forget Mario and Luigi Pan, Lubba, Link, and Kirby?

*(Joe then rubbed aftershave on his hands and patted the seagull’s butt with it. After he was done, the seagull bolted awake and after seeing it’s naked butt and tail, flew away, squawking in embarrassment)*

Joe: Oh, come on, Captain. Don’t cry. We’ll be more happier after that.

Moe: Not to mention a whole lot healthier.

*(Joe then puts some shaving powder on his hands and begins to pat his hands in the air while he is about to sing)*

Mates except the Komodo Brothers: KOMODO BROTHERS!!!!

Komodo Brothers: WHAT?!

*(The Komodo Brothers noticed the seagull’s gone)*

Moe: Captain?! Oh my gosh!! I never shaved him this close before!

Rilla: Well, if you had payed attention....

Moe: Shut up and look around for his head!

*(As Moe crawled on the floor, searching for the head, his back picked up the chair and the rocking made the towel fall off of Swackhammer’s head. He woke up suddenly and after looking around in confusion, he noticed Moe, searching around like an idiot, and got annoyed and angry)*

Swackhammer: Get up, you idiot!

*(Moe bolted to his feet, knocking Swackhammer and the chair aside. The mates noticed and they, except Moe, got shocked)*

Moe: (Saluting) Aye-aye, sir!

*(He and the others heard the chair crash down on the deck and noticed Swackhammer and the chair landed on the other side where Ganondorf, Bowser, and the other crew members are. They got confused at first, but they became curious on what happened when the mates arrived down there, shouting in concern for their captain. Ganondorf and Bowser, however, had a feeling something happened)*

Bleck: What’s going on?

Cubot: And why did the captain fall down and go boom?

Popple: We told you to tell him about us leaving now!

Ganondorf: (Confused) Tell us what?

Pinstripe: Well, it’s hard to explain....

*(The Komodo Brothers went up to a dizzy Swackhammer, thinking he found his head)*

Moe: He’s fine!

Joe: Good as new!

*(The Komodo Brothers grabbed Swackhammer’s face when the captain snapped out of his dizzyness, got up, took the blanket off and grabbed the Komodo Brothers, making the crew shocked)*

Swackhammer: (To the Komodo Brothers) You bumbling idiots!

*(Swackhammer was about to punch them when the crew screamed out at him to stop while Ganondorf was surprised)*

Ace: Chill, Captain!

*(Swackhammer stopped and got confused)*

Swackhammer: What?

*(He drops the Komodo Brothers)*

Ganondorf: Just what’s going on here?

Bowser: What do you mean “Tell us?”

Storm King: Let’s just say we want to leave Neverland!

*(Zurg and Hades got confused)*

Zurg and Hades: What?

Warp: You heard him!

Pain: The crew is edgy because we want to leave and go back to being pirates.

Mojo Jojo: They have a point.

*(Among the crew, a male anthro weasel with muddy lime green fur, light muddy lime green markings, yellow eyes, a black nose, short dark muddy lime green neck-length hair, and wearing a mauve long-sleeved coat with four yellow buttons and a mauve newsboy cap, is drinking a lot of alcoholic beer in his mug. He is Wacky Weasel, the alcoholic drunk member of the crew. As this happened, the crew shouted their agreement with Mojo Jojo, Swackhammer and Ganondorf then got sarcastic)*

Swackhammer: (Sarcastically) Very well. If that’s your decision.

Ganondorf: (Sarcastically) If that’s what you want.

*(Pinstripe hands Swackhammer his business suit and Swackhammer accepted it and puts it on)*

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Not happening yet!

*(The crew groaned in anger)*

Ganondorf: What’s wrong with you?!

*(The crew quieted down. Ganondorf then calmed down and with Swackhammer, spoke up in a positive way)*

Ganondorf: If you help us kill Mario and Luigi Pan, Lubba, Link, and Kirby, we shall reward you with treasure.

Swackhammer: But all you have to do is do what we say.

Bowser: (Skeptically) Really?

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Really.

Ratigan: Let’s just sail away for all I care.

Swackhammer: Really?

Ganondorf: Let’s just say we have a plan.

Crew except Wacky: (Confused) A plan?

Myotismon: Me and the other mates were told of this plan.

Mates except Myotismon: (Agreeing) Yeah.

Vanitas: Tell them, Pop.

Swackhammer: Ganondorf, Bowser, and I plan to kidnap Pauline of the Final Fantasy tribe and persuade her into telling us where Mario and Luigi Pan, Lubba, Link, and Kirby’s hideout is.

*(The crew is now starting to become convinced by the plan)*

Ganondorf: And when we find out, we’ll maroon her, find those three bratty boys, that incompetent star-man, and that insignificant ball creature and kill them and their friends.

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: And as we promise, we’ll leave Dreamland for good!

*(The crew cheered. After taking a Napoleon Bonaparte-like hat from Ace and putting it on, Swackhammer threw his cape in the air and with Ganondorf, then started singing)*

Swackhammer: **From the brains**

**That brought you**

**The Cannibal Cove Caper**

Ganondorf: **The heads that made headlines**

**Throughout all of Neverland newspapers**

Swackhammer: **And wondrous things like**

**The Mermaid Lagoon job**

**That cunning display**

**That made Neverlanders sob**

Ganondorf: **Now comes the real *tour de force***

Swackhammer: **Tricky and wicked of course**

*(Wacky took another beer bottle and while refilling repeatedly, drank it all up from his mug)*

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: **Our earlier crimes**

**Were fine for our times**

**But now we’re at it again**

**An even grimmer plot**

**Has been simmering**

**In our great criminal brains**

Crew: **Even meaner**

**You mean it**

**Worse than the widows and orphans**

**You drowned**

**You’re the best of the worst around**

**Oh Swackhammer**

**Oh Ganondorf**

**The rest fall behind**

**To Swackhammer**

**To Ganondorf**

**Neverland’s greatest criminal minds**

*(Then Swackhammer played on a harp with Ganondorf and Bowser standing next to him)*

Swackhammer: Thank you, thank you.

Bowser: But it hasn’t all been champagne and caviar.

Ganondorf: Yes. We’ve had our share of adversity.

Swackhammer: Thanks to those miserable second-rate brats, Mario and Luigi Pan, Lubba, Link, and Kirby!

*(Swackhammer and Ganondorf leered at the pictures of Mario, Luigi, Lubba, Link, and Kirby on the wall, covered with darts. Bowser gasped in horror)*

Crew: Boo!

Swackhammer: (Fake sobbing) For years, those insufferable brats has interfered with our plans. And we haven’t had a moment’s piece of mind.

Bowser and crew: Aw….

*(Wacky then briefly sobbed uncontrollably a little)*

Ganondorf: But all of that’s in the past!

Swackhammer: This time, nothing, not even Mario and Luigi Pan, Lubba, Link, and Kirby, can stop us!

Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser: All will bow down before us!

Crew: **Oh Swackhammer**

**Oh Ganondorf**

**You’re tops and that’s that**

**To Swackhammer**

**To Ganondorf**

*(Then all of a sudden, Wacky finally sang out loud drunkenly)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) **To the greatest**

**Frogfish, Beastfish, and Turtlefish**

*(He hiccups. Suddenly, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and Bowser spit their wine they were drinking in horror on what Wacky said. Even the crew was shocked)*

Crump: Uh-oh. His loss.

*(Swackhammer and Ganondorf then turned to Wacky in anger and got up to him)*

Ganondorf: What was that you said?!

*(Wacky hiccups again)*

Swackhammer: What did you call us?!

*(Bowser and the pirates tried to stand up for Wacky)*

Eggman: He didn’t mean it, Captain Swackhammer and Admiral Ganondorf!

Bowser: It was just the slip of his tongue, even though I don't like the ins....

*(Ignoring them, Ganondorf savagely grabs Wacky by the neck rim of his shirt while he and Swackhammer yelled at him)*

Swackhammer: I AM *NOT* A FROGFISH!!

Ganondorf: AND I’M ESPECIALLY *NOT* A BEASTFISH!!

Fuzzy: Course you’re not! *(To the pirates)* Right?

*(The crew agreed)*

Grodus: You’re a great alien and king, indeed.

Popple: Yeah. A great alien and king, see?!

Bowser: Even though I'm also the great Koopa King, I think you should spare Wacky.

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Silence!

*(Swackhammer sets up the plank and Ganondorf hangs Wacky on the edge by his back neck rim as the crew watched)*

Swackhammer: Oh, my dear Wacky Weasel. I’m afraid you have gone and upset us.

*(Swackhammer pulls a bell out with an evil smirk)*

Swackhammer: You know what happens when someone upsets me or Ganondorf, right?

*(The crew got shocked on this, for they knew what would happen to unfortunate crew members like Wacky. Swackhammer rang the bell and a giant baby green anthro Piranha Plant with a green stalk, two green stalk legs, two green leaves for arms, a red and white polka dotted head with big green lips, sharp teeth, and fiery red and yellow petals, and wearing a red and white polka dotted diaper slowly emerged from the water, ready to grab Wacky and eat him. That is Petey Piranha)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) **Oh Swackhammer**

**Oh Ganondorf**

**You’re tops and that’s that**

*(He hiccups)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) Oops. Oh dear.

*(He resumed singing as Petey picked him up over his mouth as the crew looked on in horror with the bumbling members covering their eyes and Ganondorf whistled calmly and Swackhammer puffing his cigar)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) **To Swackhammer**

**To Ganondorf**

**To Swackhammer**

**To Ganondorf**

**Neverland’s greateeeeeest….**

*(Then with one gulp off-screen, Petey ate Wacky and licked his lips. The crew calmed down and looked shocked still as Swackhammer and Ganondorf petted their pet (Imagine the bumbling crew members giving the shocked expression Spongebob and Patrick made after their Krabby Patty Car got eaten by the frogfish and then the frogfish getting eaten by the giant eel from “The Spongebob Squarepants Movie”))*

Swackhammer: (Baby talk) Oh, Petey, our precious, our baby. Did Daddy’s sweet beast enjoy his tasty treat?

*(Petey replied with a burp and left. Swackhammer and Ganondorf then puts the plank away and went over to the front of the mast again and spoke to their crew)*

Swackhammer: We expect there will be no interruptions.

Ganondorf: Now, as we were singing....

*(He motioned the bell briefly and the crew snapped out of their shocked looks and resumed their song with their captain and admiral)*

Crew: **Even louder**

**We’ll shout it**

**No one can doubt**

**What we know you can do**

**You’re more evil than even you**

*(Infinite suddenly stopped singing and dancing upon noticing something in the sky and went up to the crow’s nest)*

Crew: **Oh Swackhammer**

**Oh Ganondorf**

**You’re one of a kind**

**To Swackhammer**

**To Ganondorf**

**Neverland’s greatest criminal miiiiiiinds**

*(As the song concludes, Infinite suddenly shouted and got Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and the crew’s attention)*

Infinite: Mario and Luigi Pan's group, ahoy!

*(Hearing him, Swackhammer, Ganondorf, and the crew got surprised)*

Swackhammer: What?! Fire away!

Infinite: Three points off the starboard bow!

*(Swackhammer pulls his telescope out and looked to see Mario, Luigi, Link, Lubba, Aryll, Kirby, and Sonic's group flying towards Neverland from afar, and they have the Mane Seven, Spike, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Zelda, Tai, Kari, Agumon, Gatomon, TK, Patamon, Sora and Terra's groups, and Chirithy flying next to them)*

Swackhammer: My gosh, it is Mario and Luigi Pan's group!

*(He hands Ganondorf the telescope and Ganondorf saw them too)*

Ganondorf: Heading this way with some more bratty kids and a little creature.

*(He and Swackhammer turned to their crew)*

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Alright, my hearty crew! Look alive!

*(The crew scattered into their battle positions. Swackhammer and Ganondorf turned to the mates in excitement)*

Swackhammer: We got them this time, guys!

Ace: Indeed!

*(Swackhammer and Ganondorf turned to Drake and Ratigan as they prepared a huge cannon)*

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Man the Long Tom!

*(They turned to the mates again)*

Ganondorf: We’ve waited years for this!

Dingodile: That’s not counting the holidays, either.

Snake: Ssssssuch assssss Chrisssssstmasssss?

*(Swackhammer and Ganondorf turned to Drake and Ratigan again)*

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Double the powder and shorten the fuse!

Mates: Double the powder and shorten the fuse!

*(Swackhammer looked through his telescope again to see Mario and Sonic's groups up on a faraway cloud with their new friends, showing them Neverland)*

Swackhammer: What a sight! We’ll pot them like sitting ducks!

Ganondorf: Indeed.

*(They call out to the crew)*

Swackhammer: Alright! Range 42!

Komodo Brothers: Range 42!

Ganondorf: Elevation 65!

Komodo Brothers: Elevation 65!

Swackhammer: (To the Komodo Brothers) Stop repeating.

*(He resumed his commands with Ganondorf)*

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: Three degrees west!

Komodo Brothers: Three degrees west!

Rilla: (Through gritted teeth) They said stop repeating!

Swackhammer and Ganondorf: (Ignoring them) Steady now! Steeeeaaadddyyyyyy!!

*(Noticing that they are now ready to fire the cannon, the mates covered their ears, knowing how loud the cannon is)*

***Coming up: Mario, Luigi, Lubba, Link, and Kirby, and their friends meet the Lost Yoshis and Aryll and after Amy tried to kill the Mane Seven, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, and Zelda, she’ll face the consequences.***