Charles Hammer IIIXXVIIXXIII

”We’re inviting Lady Gaga on.” -Horrible vs Real Horrible Faceoff

**Charles Hammer IIIXXVIIXXIII** is the Co-Host of Bad Average Afternoon.

## Biography

#### Childhood

Charles remembers when he was created twenty five million years ago. During this time, humans had not evolved yet and were still apes. Apparently, he born in a kitchen. When he was five years old, Anwir cut off his nipple. He does not remember this. When he was still the same age, he “pee-peed his pants in a lake.”

Charles was raised with a homophobic and sexist ideology brought to life by his deceased mother. He believes Anwir and himself are creations of the Devil, implying he follows the anti-Christ. He had a life similar to Fred Figglehorn as he recounts events from the movie as if they were his own, but he may be confusing television for reality.

#### Before BAA

At some point in his life, he was cursed by a wizard that made him unable to lie. Despite this, it is still possible for him to punk or trick others.

## Personality and Traits

Charles is often rude and crass. He takes great enjoyment out of swearing and being mean to people around him. He also expresses strange behavior, characterized by sudden bursts of rapid twitching or distorted screaming and burping. Other times he may appear shy and quiet, being more sensitive. Charles is even more sensitive if Anwir insults him or tells him he hates him, although he relishes insulting Anwir himself. This may show that Charles sees himself highly and believes he doesn't deserve rude treatment, but will allow it on others. Charles is fascinated with eating feces and states he “just wants to know what it tastes like.” He skins people alive regularly enough to claim it happens “just last week”.

He loves disgusting food and will call it delicious, even though he gags while eating it. Charles has a passion for dancing, even having a persona called “The Disco Man”. His dancing is mostly just his regular convulsing. Another hobby of his is devouring human fetuses in his free time. It is unknown where he gets them from.

## Relationships

#### Ape Family

Due to his creation and upbringing, he has a deep connection with the Ape Family. The group has debate surrounding it, making his connection even more intertwined.

#### Anwir

Charles despises Anwir. He will often tell him he hates him and he doesn’t like doing BAA with him. Although, when Anwir expresses dislike towards him, he reacts with disappointment and sadness. He will say things such as “Sorry Anwir”, “I love you”, and “You’re my buddy.” Charles and Anwir have sexual intercourse with each others' wives (despite Anwir claiming he doesn’t have one). He allegedly hangs out with Anwir everyday while also planning to kill Anwir everyday. Anwir makes him cry every night and has stabbed Charles on set once. During this event, Charles had to pretend that everything was fine and bare through the pain for the camera while laughing it off. This episode has never been released.

### Mother

Charles' mother raised him with a homophobic and sexist upbringing. Little is known about her other than she's deceased. Anwir likes to make fun of Charles for having a deceased mother.

### Wife

Charles claims to have 5 husbands and 1 wife, one of his husbands being Adam and his only wife being Eve from the Bible.

## Trivia

* Charles in a member of the furry fandom, brain pizza brings this side out of him more.
* His favorite snack is snail meat.
* He has 10 social medias, one being tumblr and another Instagram.
* He has chronic diarrhea.
* Part of frontal lobe is missing (seems to affect him minimally).
* He has a cat.
* Big fan of the show Supernatural, reflecting his voice actor’s interests.
	+ In universe, it is called Soup Gnat Urinal, referencing the real life creators of BAA’s other project.
* He has a love/hate relationship with Ryan Reynolds’ wife.
* Hates “gummy chocolate”, believes it to be the worst chocolate he's ever eaten.
* He has iron deficiency.
* He has metal teeth.