Lottery Milo/Quotes

**Milo**: Melissa, I need $28,000.
**Melissa**: For what?
**Milo**: I decided I wanna open a chinese restaurant.
**Melissa**: What do you know about chinese food?
**Milo**: I don't know anything about the chinese food. I just wanna Greet the customers when they walk in the door.
*[cutaway to Milo Behind a Chinese table greets the people]*
Milo: Nǐ hǎo. Hěn gāoxìng rènshì nǐ. Here comes a black guy.

**Cavindish**: Mr. Mayor, what do you plan to do if *you* win the lottery?
**Mayor**: Well, I'd finally splurge and buy myself one of those fancy four piece suits.
*[cut to The Mayor at a country club wearing a four-piece suit, the fourth piece being a jacket, shirt and tie on his head]*
**Mayor**: I'd like to join your country club. I assume that won't be a problem.
*[cut back to Tricia interviewing a Persian guy]*
**Cavindish**: And how about you, Every Persian Guy in the World?
*[zoom out to reveal that literally every Persian male has come to Rhode Island to say this]*
**Every Persian Guy in the World**: a Ferrari.
*[Milo is about to go buy a lottery ticket, but hesitates when he gets to the door]*
**Melissa**: Milo, what's wrong?
**Milo**: It's, uh, nothin', I'm just gonna wait a minute. *[pause]* There's racing cars crashing into the wall in the 24 hour Lemans race.
*[Milo comes home with a box of lottery tickets]*
**Zack**: Milo, this is Ludacris! Your odds of winning are like a hundred million to one! Don't you know the lottery is just a tax on any other people?!
**Milo**: Would you be saying that if the prize was a hundred and fifty bags of the neighbors' trash?
**Zack**: But it's not!...I mean...I mean, Is it? It's...That's a silly question!
**Milo**: Okay, this is it, you guys! They're gonna announce the winning lottery numbers! Time for the Murphy's Law to meet its destiny!
**Melissa**: When we lose, then we messed up.
**Milo**: Understood.
**Milo**: Yes! We won the lottery! i need a waiter, butler!
**Butler**: *[suddenly appearing]* Sir...
**Milo**: i need a waiter! I NEED HIM!
**Melissa**: Hello?
**Richard**: *[on phone]* Didja blow all your money yet?
**Melissa**: No, Daddy.
**Richard**: *[on phone]* Alright, call me when ya blow all your money, love ya, bye.
*[Milo seen sitting on his couch in his pajamas with Melissa arriving with the groceries]*
**Melissa**: Milo, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at School?
**Milo**: I quit my job, Melissa.
**Melissa**: You what?
**Milo**: Yeah, we're rich now. I don't need to be working. Ah, you should've been there, Melissa. I told Lola what she could do with that job, just like I always fantasized.
*[cutaway to Milo quitting his job at the brewery]*
**Milo**: Lola I just want to thank you for several extremely pleasurable years working for this corporation. Uh, certain unexpected developments have created a situation where I am no longer in need of employment. Uh, I would be remiss, however, if I did not extend my gratitude to you for your unwavering fairness and belief in me, and there is a giant poo on your desk.
*[Milo, Zack, Melissa, Wally, Sara and Diogee now completely broke, are seen in Jackets sitting on a curb]*
**Melissa**: I can't believe it. We lost everything.
**Wally**: What do we do now?
**Milo**: Well, seems like our only hope is the lottery.
*[transition to one month later,* Milo, Zack, Melissa, Wally, Sara and Diogee *and are back in the same clothes in the same location, but looking more ragged than earlier]*
**Milo**: Wow, we won twice and we're right back here again.
**Melissa**: We had $150 million, and we blew through it in a month.
**Milo**: Yeah, but on the bright side, if this hadn't happened, we never would've met Kris.
*[zoom out to show a Man on the street]*
**Man**: Hey.
*[Milo, Zack, Melissa, Wally, Sara and Diogee greet the Man]*
**Milo**: And that's not even Kris.
**Milo**: I just Really Know That in Formula 1, The Danville Speedway has changed into The Danville Grand Prix, and That Driver is going to Drive a Ferrari Like Sebastian Vettel.