Theme Song 2

**Theme Song 2** is the first track of Kevin & Abi And The Secret Of The Stolen Sun.

## Performers

Oliver Marsh as "Kevin"

Kiera-Marie Somers as "Abi"

Kerttu Aarnipuu as "Ryvyr"

## Lyrics

Abi: What about Mafia Dad 2? That was a good sequel.

Kevin: Sure, once in a blue moon they don't screw it up, but it doesn't change the fact that most sequels are terrible and a bad idea.

Ryvyr: Sharkgirl and Lavaboy 2 was really good.

Kevin: I thought you said it didn't have enough violence?

Ryvyr: All the good G movies never have enough violence.

Abi: They're for kids!

Ryvyr: How are the kids going to learn to defend their tribe?

Abi: Aw, you're the cutest little homicidal goblin I know.

Ryvyr: Love you too, babe.

(kissy noises)

Abi: Have you thought about your catchphrase?

Ryvyr: Shouldn't we focus on this new murder we're driving to?

Abi: We'll figure it out when we get there.

Kevin: Not much further now. I not sure we both need a catchphrase, but if I had one it could be: "You didn't think about that, did you, you bulbous hemorrhoid?"

Abi: As a catchphrase?

Ryvyr: What's a hemorrhoid?

Abi: No. We are a prime-time show. You cannot say hemorrhoid every episode.

Kevin: But you say the word hell?

Abi: "Spell from hell time!"

Kevin: How is hell better than hemorrhoid?

Abi: It just is. No one wants to hear about y-

Ryvyr: So do you sing your theme song every episode?

Kevin:

Well, if we're a movie, we do a new, more hip theme song. Like:

Its Kevin and Abi back on the case

Come inspectin' and dectectin' 'til the culprit's aced

If the bodies are a-pilin' and you don't know which is which

Come a-solvin' and revolvin' with Kevin and the witch

Sherlock and Poirot, Father Brown and Sam Spade

All step back and raise a glass when the mouse is on the case

Cause it's 'find the guilty' time and make the killer their bitch

Another crime unwinds with Kevin and the Witch

Chorus: (x4)

Kevin and the witch

Kevin:

Her name is Abi!

She's not too shabby!

The mouse and Abi!

Like Scooby and Shaggy!

Abi: No, nonononono, no, absolutely not. We're a murder of the week, hit, prime-time show. Same song every time. It's comforting. Here, Like this:

Abi: If murderers are on your nerves and make your eyeballs twitch

Kevin: Don't you moan, pick up the phone, call Kevin and the Witch

Abi: We'll ace the toughest case without a snag or drag or hitch

Kevin: Kevin is the sweet one, Abi's a raging b-

Abi: Don't you dare say it

Kevin: If someone wrong just offed your mom and you are in a glitch

Kevin and Abi: We're the friends at your wits end, Kevin and the Witch

Kevin: It is a classic

Ryvyr: I liked the terrible rapping

Kevin: What if I wore a backwards baseball hat and chain and spit the ver-

Abi: What if we didn't do a sleazy, corporate, culture-appropriating cash grab

Kevin: It's true sometimes you need a sleuth, detectives on your side

Abi: Brilliant sly, astute, and wise, we always get our guy

Kevin: Abi's fun and sweet but her spells can kick your behind

Abi: Kevin has a brilliant mind, nothing escapes his eye

Kevin & Abi:

If the cops have given up, don't panic don't you twitch

The best detective team out there, the mouse and yes, the witch

Ryvyr: We should do a blood scream at the end

Kevin: A blood scream?

Ryvyr: You know, like...

Kevin & Abi:

The mouse and yes, the witch (scream)

Kevin: Oh, oddly it works better than you'd first think. So a pair of cows were talking in a...

Abi: Stop right there. No. Aren't we here?

Kevin: Oh, we've arrived.

Ryvyr: Oh, this place is fancy.

Abi: This is the home of Santiago Winters, CEO of VV Enterprises.

Ryvyr: Santiago Winters, CEO of VV Enterprises?

Abi: Say it once more for the viewers at home.

Ryvyr: The rich and powerful Santiago Winters, CEO of VV Enterprises.

Abi: Did Mr. Winters actually call us?

Kevin: No. It might have been his wife, although the voice was very computer-y.

Abi: So, do we just knock on the front door?

Kevin: This door is enormous.

Ryvyr: You know, I keep a mace with me for just such occasions.

Kevin: You can't possibly mean 'mace' as in-

(Crunch)

Abi: That's a big dent you put in their door.