The Babies Are Born, Lord Omsk is Forlorn

The Babies Are Born, Lord Omsk Is Forlorn is the eleventh chapter in the Wombles Three.

The big men put Cathy in a grey van and drove to an old airfield.  There was an ATS prop waiting there.   In they went carrying a now unconscious Cathy into plane.  She woke up a few hours later in a dentist chair.  She was clamped to it.  Without thinking she shouted.  “My babies!”. A womble was looking at her.   The womble was joined by another womble. “You mean these ja?” asked the first one who was wearing a lab coat.  Cathy knew him immediately.  “Oslo Von Vomble!” she spat.  “Profressor to you ja!” he replied.  The other womble wasn’t familiar.  “And who are you ja?” she asked sarcastically.  “I am Lord Omsk Womble!  Da!” replied the second womble rather grandly.  “And what are THOSE THINGS?” asked Cathy.  Both wombles held a weird purple octopus.  Each octopus was wearing a purple bowler hat.

“These are your babies ja!” replied Oslo.  Cathy looked and her bump was gone!  In fact she felt completely normal now.  “We put Venussian octopus seeds into your breakfast whilst Steed was out. It was easy enough unfortunately we had problems with that dratted cider.  Hence bowler hats but this is no problem.”

“You monsters!” shouted Cathy.  “I suppose that an octopus is above my about to be joined to me and control my mind!”  “Ja! Da!” they replied.  “And I suppose that it was last octopus until my “babies” were removed from me!”  “Da! Ja!” they replied.  Cathy tried to kick them but couldn’t because she was clamped to the chair.

Suddenly there was a noise outside.  Steed, Mother, Bungo and Melville had arrived in the village helicopter. They had used the tracker in Cathy’s mouth to find her.

They burst in and freed Cathy.  Oslo and Omsk ran into another room.  Cathy chased them.  She saw two babies there.  “Huh?” she was confused.  Oslo laughed and Omsk said, “Did you really think that those ridiculous octopi were your babies?  That would be ridiculous!  We fooled you!”  “Then why is my lump gone?”  “Well look! Your babies are there!  You gave birth whilst you were unconscious but we’re not sure how!”  “Oh” said Cathy and threw them both on the floor.  Oslo threw needles at her but they all went into Dr King who had just come looking for them.  He screamed in pain then went silent and fell dead.  “Aagh!” said Steed.  “Four dead avengers now?”  Tara came up and tried to attack him, but he took some needles out of Dr King and put them in her.  She screamed in pain, then went silent and fell dead.  “Oh dear” said Steed to Cathy.  “Now me and you are the only two avengers left!  Unless you count Mother and One Ten and Father, but I don’t.”

“Ahem!  Don’t forget me!” said Melville whilst kicking Venussian octopi around like they were footballs.  The octopi started to bleed.  “Blue!” said Steed.  “Well done John that blood is blue.  We’ll teach you all the colours yet!” replied Cathy.  “No!  Blue! That means that Venus isn’t royal! It means that she has a Venussian octopus on her head!”  Cathy suddenly remembered ESP.  “And so does ESP!”.  Quickly they took the bowler hats off the now dead octopi in the lab and put them on the babies.  Cathy and Steed took one each and they scrambled back into the helicopter.