The World According To Petula

**The World According To Petula** is a song from the episode Pop Goes Petula, and is sung by all of The Snobby Pets, but mainly Petula. It is a parody of the song The World According To Chris from Carrie The Musical (WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE FROM THE ORIGINAL SONG), and it's sung to Cupcake when she begins to question the motives of The Snobby Pets. It is sung by Mary Katharine Dillon, Bella Ferris, Clare Ruth Gundersen, and TBA.

## Lyrics

Petula:

Guess what, since the world began, I bet

Same thing, everyone's been dumping on their fellow pet

Knocking them down like a lego set

I hope you're taking notes, dear

You feel as if those freaks deserve a shout

Get real, some of us have got it, girl

And some got squat

That's the truth

Honey, like it or not

I hate to break it to you

My parents told me you get nowhere being nice

So now I'm sharing their advice!

The world according to Petula!

It's better to whip than be whipped!

Better to roast then be roasted!

You probably thinks it's bizarre

But that's the way things are!

(Spoken)

Cupcake:

But in the way you're describing it? Why can't you lay off the other pets?

Petula:

Ew, what have you done with Cupcake? So Sweetie, tell me, am I right or am I right?

Sweetie:

Trust me,

(Singing Again)

Sweetie:

There is a runt in every litter

It's true

Each of them are losers, and though it sounds bitter

Guess what you can do?

Eat my glitter

Petula:

She's got the right idea

Sweetie:

One year, there was this annoying cat

So weird

And on top of that, she was so very fat

One day she looks at me

And yeah, that's that

Petula:

I think she got the message!

Petula And Sweetie:

We're here to show you how this world of freaks all work!

Other Snobby Pets:

Ohhhhhh Yeah!

Petula And Sweetie:

If you don't listen then you're a jerk!

The Snobby Pets:

The world according to Petula

Better to punch than get punched

Better to burn than get burned

Learn that and you're gonna go far

Cause that's the way things are!

Petula:

Ha nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya!

Ha nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya!

The Snobby Pets:

Ha nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya!

Ha nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya!

(Speaking)

Cupcake:

I can't believe this!

Mitchell:

Why? It's obvious! That's the way things are!

Cupcake:

Leave me alone you stupid snail!

Gavin:

What's up with you?! You usually listen to us!

(Singing)

Cupcake:

Why can't you all understand?!

This whole scheme is getting out of hand!

We'll get arrested if we hurt those pets!

(Speaking)

Gavin:

Will anybody care anyway?

(Singing)

Cupcake:

Hey, I'm involved here, too

I'm only willing to help you

Against Hissy, that's all

I don't wish to hurt anyone

Who's not wronged me

Why can't you all just see...

Gavin:

Cupcake, this is the way we all roll

You can accept and keep your mouth shut

But if you want to be a troll.

Don't fail our goal

(Speaking)

Cupcake:

Is that a threat?!

(Singing)

Petula:

Cupcake, I can see you're feeling sad

The Snobby Pets:

Boo hoo, too bad for you

Ain't it so darn sad?

Petula:

This is why you're all so rad

The Snobby Pets:

We've got the right idea!

Petula:

My parents taught me who's on top and who's below!

The Snobby Pets:

Who's below!

Petula:

And now it's time I let you know!

The world according to Petula!

(Speaking)

Cupcake:

You're joking, right? You can't truly expect us to take you seriously

Petula:

Why are you being such a lame-o?

Cupcake:

Petula, grow up!

(Singing)

The Snobby Pets:

Ha nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya!

Ha nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya!

Sweetie:

Let's start this party, everyone!

The world according to Petula (4x)

Petula:

(Softly)

The world according to Petula

Better to whip than get whipped

Even if somebody bleeds

Please

Nobody dies from a scar

And that's

The

Way

Things

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre...