Greetings from Fire Island - Chapter Two

> "*I have a coupon for laser hair removal I would like to redeem at this establishment.*"
> ― Arson Nicki
>
>

**Greetings from Fire Island - Chapter Two:** "**Welcome to the Golden Palace"** is the eleventh episode of Queens of Adventure. It sees the queens arrive for the first time at the Golden Palace.

## Synopsis

The queens walk along the beach with Karin and her flail snail. Ranger Richard gives the queens a nod as they pass a heated vent, opens his glider, and departs.

They arrive at the resort. A grand staircase leads to a stone building carved into the hillside. A glittering sign reads: "The Golden Palace". They enter into a luxurious circular casino with an aquarium standing as a column through the center. Windows around the chamber show rivers of flowing magma. Archways lead to other areas of the casino, marked by signs: A bar, a buffet, a theater, a chapel, and a spa. A bank of elevators line the back wall.

Karin guides them to the spa for treatments to help them relax after their ordeals. A spa employee sees to their needs and explains the cost of the treatments will go on their tab. Karin takes them to her and her husband's suite, offering to let them stay in their spare rooms. The group rests.

Upon waking, the queens join Karin in the suite's common room. A human with glasses joins them. He is Patrick, Karin's husband. As they settle in, Karin explains that since a storm a week ago, seaspawn attack every twelve hours at high tide. The casino is taking care of survivors, proving food, lodging, and weapons in exchange for them fighting the spawn. There are two hours to go until the next attack. Harlotte asks Patrick for more info on the seaspawn. He explains he has been researching them, but he doesn't know what prompted the attacks. All he knows is something has animated ship wreck survivors whose goal is to drag more people to the sea.

The queens head downstairs, and find a desk near the armory where a half-orc is seated. Four large suits of armor, decorated with playing card suits, stand guard beside him. Karin introduces him as Lamont Du Pont IV. As the queens order supplies, weapons, and armor, the constructs (armor, not social) fetch them. While they are waiting, Butylene asks Lamont about himself. He too was a vacationer looking to play at the tables and maybe look for a lady before all this happened. Lamont also warns them that these will all go on their tab. Harlotte says her name is Methuselah Beelzebubina.

Kitted out, they follow Karin to the beach. Tourists are preparing weapons and fortifications. Karin says the newbies get three options: A lifeguard stand, a kiddie playground, or a cabana. The queens chose the cabana forty feet from the ocean, which has a well stocked bar, and several fortifications.

Karin explains the monsters attack at high tide until the tide starts to go out and then they go away, so encourages them to prepare while she goes to join Patrick. As the queens check the cabana, Harlotte checks for a cash register, but it only has sand dollars in there.

   The queens mostly wonder if it comes with a cabana boy. They look around and notice a half-elf by the lifeguard tower who seems alone. Harlotte calls him over. The half-elf, Jim-Jim, says the rest of his team was already pulled into the ocean. Fraya tries to tie him up with part of her seaweed dress, but he notices and resists. Butylene attempts to use *charm person,* but it fails, so instead she tries to offer him caltrops, claiming they are enchanted by Arson's spider goddess and causing them to glow. Jim-Jim grows more and more cautious, and begins to back away as Harlotte draws a knife and admits they plan to use him as bait. He flees to the lifeguard tower.

With only 45 minutes left, the group hurriedly goes to fortify their area. Harlotte looks for more umbrellas to build a wall of spikes to face towards the beach. Fraya digs a trench between rows of umbrellas and a surfboard baricade. As she digs, the water table fills it, with the hope that she can use the water as a weapon. Digging through the bar, Butylene finds some rum to make molotov cocktails, and also sets the hunting trap she got from the armory as an early warning sign. Arson sets up some flamable constructs around their fortifications.

As high tide arrives, the queens take positions. A bell rings, and the seaspawn emerge from the water.

### Characters

#### Party

* Arson Nicki - drow warlock
* Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist
* Fraya Love - water genasi cleric
* Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue

#### NPCs

* Karin
* Ranger Richard
* Spa employee (debut)
* Patrick (debut)
* Lamont Du Pont IV (debut)
* Jim-Jim (debut)

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* Seaspawn arrive at High Tide, every twelve hours, and only attack until the tide begins to go out again before they disappear back into the water.

### Memorable Quotes

* "Party." - DM Matt
* "My rider usually requires four star accommodations, but today I'm feeling compassionate." - Arson Nicki
* "Don't scold the milk." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Harlotte, bust out the stolen credit cards." - "Which One?" - Butylene O'Kipple and Harlotte O'Scara
* "Why drag people on the internet when you can drag them in real life. Especially when they are drag people." - Arson Nicki
* "Well currently I am looking for a husband and a million dollars, but since you don't have that... hah. Oh, after taxes." - Fraya Love
* "Sometimes when you're on a bad date you just have to light the table on fire. Metaphorically and literally." - Arson Nicki
* "If I can't make my own flames, store bought is fine." - Arson Nicki
* "You don't just get to identify as a half-orc." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Get you a manacle who can do both." - "These are womanacles, thank you." - "These are *they-*acles." - Arson Nicki and Butylene O'Kipple
* "Always have at least two alter egos in play at any time." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "You're talking to a rogue who is on paper chaotic good, but is really chaotic evil." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "They deserve to be stuffed in a bottle and set on fire." - DM Matt
* "You never know when you're going to have to shove someone into the fire." - Arson Nicki

### References

* Splenda
* Scruff and Tinder
* Barefoot Contessa
* Mean Girls
* Paris is Burning - "Shake the Dice and Steal the Rice"
* Beyonce
* FaceTime
* Bacardi 151
* Everclear

## Behind the Queens

* This episode was backed specifically by Mike Bray, along with season sponsor Russel Blumedale.
* The queens received a candle from Fortresses of Solitude candles. A dice will be revealed once it burns down.
* This is the first episode in which no combat occurs. This is also the first episode in which no inspiration is earned.
* Before the March 2020 renaming of episodes, this was the second episode of Season One.

**Greetings From Fire Island**: Ch1 - **Ch2** - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style