Trader Sam

**Trader Sam** is a scene wherein the boat passes the head salesman of the jungle.

## Description

### **Disneyland**

*Main article:  Disneyland's Jungle Cruise*

[Text.]

### **Magic Kingdom**

*Main article:  Magic Kingdom's Jungle Cruise*

A native holds three shrunken heads by the hair, offering them to the port side of the boat. A fourth shrunken head hangs from his necklace.

His belongings--bead necklaces, dried grass armbands and anklets, bare feet and chest, a top hat, a torn umbrella, a machete, and a lantern--implies that he's a middleman between local tribes and colonizers. His skirt bears a curious resemblance to the canvases of the original *Jungle Cruise* boats.

## Location

### **Magic Kingdom**

The scene takes place on the Amazon, after returning to the Amazon, but before returning to Civilization.

## Spiel

### **Disneyland**

Here's Trader Sam, the head salesman of the jungle!

Sam has a special today! The only trouble is, he always insists on a trade-in: two of his heads for one of yours.

### **Magic Kingdom**

Our adventure wouldn't be complete without a visit with Trader Sam. Everybody say, "Hi, Sam!"

#### **Head Shrinking**

Well, whaddya know, there's Trader Sam, the head salesman of the jungle!

I understand that business has been shrinking lately.

It's a pretty cut-throat industry, after all.

After slashing his prices--which are head and shoulders above the competition--he's offering a killer deal: two of his heads for one of yours! Any takers? C'mon, folks; any way you slice it, you come out a-head!

Doing business with him is very discreet. His lips are sealed!

#### **Cannibalism**

A couple of explorers came through here last month, and Sam had 'em over for dinner. When they found out that they were on the menu, they completely lost their heads!

If vegetarians eat vegetables, then Sam is a humanitarian; he's always looking for ways to serve people!

He has complete strangers for dinner!

He invited me over for dinner, which was surprising, because he always says he's fed up with people. Still, he buttered me up enough, so I figured, why not? I'll bite.

I went over for dinner at Sam's, but I got there a little late, so he gave the cold shoulder.

He served finger foods. They tasted a little out-of-joint.

* I said, "Sam, why are these so over-cooked?" He said, "You prefer them raw?! I throw my hands up!"
* Talk about a nail-biter!

I said, "Sam, your wife makes a sumptuous stew!" He said, "Yeah, but I'm gonna miss her." [Pause.] It's not that said. He only wanted her for her body.

I said, "Sam, your father has no taste!" He said, "Well, you've gotta take him with a grain of salt."

I said, "Sam, I don't like your brother!" He said, "Fine! Just have the noodles!"

Sam went to college, although he was expelled after they caught him buttering up one of his professors.

#### **Conservation**

I hope you've enjoyed exploring the rivers, jungles, and rainforests of the world, but you probably saw they're more than just exciting places to visit. You've seen that they support all kinds of life on our planet. That's why we have to guard and protect them. Here's somebody who agrees with me. That's Chief Namee, the head man of the jungle. When he sees people harming his river, he has a tendency to lose his head...and so do they!

Here's Trader Sam, welcoming us back to South America. Sam is the head man of this jungle. He met some guests who didn't take care of his river, so he had a talk with them, and they finally admitted they'd lost their heads.

#### ***Jingle Cruise***

*Main article: Jingle Cruise*

Here he is, folks; Trader Sam-ta!

Everyone say, "Ho-ho-ho," Sam!

It looks like he's ready to *head* into the...

* ...holidays.
* ...new year.

This is Trader Sam, the head salesman of the jungle. He's got a very special holiday sale going on: *three* of his heads for one of yours!

After slashing his prices--which are head and shoulders above the competition--he's offering a yuletide deal: two of his heads for one of yours! Any takers? C'mon, folks; any way you slice it, you come out a-head!

Sam has a special deal: two of his heads and a partridge in a pear tree.

Sam especially like the ones with earrings. They jingle all the way home.

Don't invite Trader Sam to your pot-luck. He brings his whole family!