ChillVampire's Midland's Oneshot

Be me, DM running experimental one shot in Gloria-Etalia setting

Be not me, 3rd level Barbarian Maid for Vampire Baroness and Old Farmer Warlock

Both are from the Grand Duchy, becuase that is the area that I know best

Cannibal cults have been stealing a few people here and there

Soldiers would just get lost and taken out if they cross as a group

Vampire Baroness tasks party to go across the border and kill some cultists

Would remind them not to mess with the Duchy

Also tasked to bring back any dead bodies if they can get away with it

Old Farmer Warlock to be paid by the tounge, the maid will get a special payment

Get sent across the border during the night becuase they have sunlight sensitivity

Crosses a very steep mountainous pass but with not a lot of width to it,so they cross easily enough

Land in marshland and are stunned by strange and alien world

They have never seen so much fauna in their life, due to the ecology of the Duchy

tfw trees have green things on them, and toad isn't pure black

Barbarian casts speak with animals to talk to the toad

Rolls a history check to remember what the cultists look like and some basic lore about them

Gets a nat 1

Can only remember rumors about cultists

"They are savage, inhuman creatues that are basically monsters"

Toad leads them to a scary looking tree, and then buggers off

They go into the marshes searching for cultists

Find a human footprint, and follow it back to a camp

Camp is five humans around an unlit campfire

1 man, 3 women, and 1 boy, who all have only a blanket on them

Party decides to stealth up to take them out one by one

Debate on who to take out first, and Old Farmer Warlock throws a knife as a distraction to wake them up

why.jpg

throws knife and wakes the boy up, who fails his spot check and lies back down

Fails to overhear the party debating what to do next

Party takes a look at the cultists, and notice a few things

Cultists have chunks of flesh missing

fingers, toes, flesh from the body

Party realises that cultists cannot be cultists, and must be native running from the cultists

nat 1 history check from earlier comes to bite them in the ass

Decide that they cannot kill such helpless savages

Will bring them back alive to live to become civilized in the Duchy

Barbarian talks about how the kid is should be the priority, as he can be convinced to be civilised the easiest

Decide what to do next

Old Farmer Warlock decides to eldrich blast their campfire pit, to wake them all up

WHY.jpg

"Are you sure"

"...Umm..."

"...Yes"

WHYYYYYY.jpg

Old Farmer Warlock's player did bike 12 miles in 92 degree weather today, so I don't blame his decision making on him

Old Farmer Warlock blows up the campfire with a flaming eldrich blast

Proceeds to give a simi-coherent speech about coming with them to live a better, move civilized life

Tries to convince them to come with the party

WHAT.jpg

PC's look like pale humans due to having never been exposed to the sun

Giant pupils to see in the dark

Just blew up their camp with an ELDRICH BLAST

I call a break to go to the bathroom, and burst out laughing when I must myself

I come back, and tell Old Man Farmer to roll persuasion with disatvantage

Doesn't make the two nat 20s somehow to not make them run away

They scream at the top of their lungs and run away

Maid Barbarian proceeds to ge a nat 20 on initative, Old Farmer Warlock a 21

All cultists get below a 15

Maid Barbarian then goes to grappel one of the women and a child who is grabing the women

15 DC to only get the woman, 20 DC to get both of them

rolls a 22

They cry out in fear

Old Farmer Warlock then casts hold person on the man

success.jpg

The other two women start to run as fast as their legs can carry them

Maid Barbarian then tries to tie the woman-child combo up

Gets a nat 20

I rule that he gets another action because of the nat 20

Proceeds to shoot one of the running women in the leg, trying to deal non lethal damage

Gets max damage on the short crossbow, 10 dmg

Is using commoner statblock

Checks hp

4 hp for the commoner

She falls, instantly dead

Other woman hesitates for a second, then continues running

The woman and child are still crying and screaming

Old Farmer Warlock ties up man, and then starts to go after the other woman

Maid Barbarian goes to pick up the "unconscious" woman

Try to tell him to make a survival check, but keeps interrupting me to tell me that picking up the woman should be a free action

okthen.jpg

Old Farmer Warlock runs after the other woman

Maid Barbarian makes the survival check

Realises there is a LOT of blood around for an unconscious person

Sets her down and covers her with some sticks

Walks back to the captured cultists covered in blood

Child starts to scream and cry, saying Kanra, Kanra!

Woman with him, who is also sobbing, hugs him closly

Maid Barbarian OOC makes the connection that they are "surface raiding like the drow"

Old Farmer Warlock comes back and lets the woman cultist get away

The man finally makes his save on the hold person spell, and starts to scream and cry as well

The party tries to calm them down, and says that they are here to help them

Woman figures out that they are from across the barrier (the mountians) from the Duchy

Man fails to spit on Old Farmer Warlock, and tells them that he would never submit to unholy monsters as his ruler.

Maid Barbarian takes this as a personal insult on his Dutchess, and proceeds to tell him that if he makes another comment like that again, she will kill him,

Man, thinks about this

"Vania, take care of the child."

Proceeds to insult the duchy, the vampires, and the PC

Vania screams out NOOOOO and starts to sob

The man has very good religious reasons why he wants to die rather than be brough back to the Duchy

I wrote some lore for them for this which I will post tomorrow

Basically he things that his soul will go to fuel the vampire

If he dies here, there is a chance they will leave his body where he could be found and eaten

His soul would then go into the people that ate him, instead of the unholy vampires

Maid Barbarian proceeds to pick him up by the neck and drag him away to get decapitated

Old Farmer Warlock convinces him not to kill the man

The man is screaming at her to kill him now

The woman and child are crying as they see their family member get hualed off to die

Is 11:15 and everyone wants to go to bed now except me

The session then ends with the PC's having no idea what to do

(Part 2)

Party has no idea what to do

Talks among themselves for 10irl minutes, debating options

Decide to head back to the mountain, and chain gang the captured cultists to bring them along with

Start to head back to the mountains and their exit

Halfway back they hear a noise and stop

Turning around, they see an old man crouching behind a tree watching them

They also see him motion his hand in a stop motion behind him

Roll initiative

Three old people dressed in robes and one shaggy beastman with bull horns step out of the woods

Mechanically, this is three acolytes and a reskinned lizardfolk attacking them

The captured cultists yell to him that they humans are dangerous

Old Farmer Warlock steps forward to attack, and gets half of his hp taken out by the beastman

Switches out with the Main Barbarian, who proceeds to fuck the cultists up

The cultists fall in short succession, and one even gets captured running away

The captures cultist is an old woman, who seems strangely fit and healthy for someone her age

She is unconscious, and is slung over the Maid Barbarians back

They continue to the mountains, and are unmolested along the way

They call up to the soldiers that they are back, who hear them and drop down two ropes

They call up that they have company with them

No response, as the soldiers don't hear them

During this, there have been small interactions between the cultists and the party

A lot of name calling on the cultists part, and one of them states that they would rather die than be brought to the party’s unholy masters

This is taken lightly by the party

They decide this will do and go to tie the captured cultists to the rope so they can climb up

They turn to find the ropes binding them fall away, and a knife in the woman's hand

They never searched the cultists

The cultists turn to run, and get stomped by the party

Old Farmer Warlock rolls a three to tie up the kid, does a terrible job and knows it

Turn to talk to the man and woman some more, and tell them that they were foolish to try to escape

See a smirk on the man’s face and relief on the woman’s, and turn to see that the child is gone

”Oh well, we still have you three”

Go to search the man and woman to see what they find

Cultist man rolls a 13 to hide his knife, Maid Barbarian rolls a twelve

Being satisfied, they tie them to the mountain rope, and they all start to head up

Man, then woman, then Maid Barbarian with the old woman cultist on one rope

Old Farmer Warlock is on the other rope

Halfway up, they see a glint in the man’s hand, who starts to cut the rope to head back up the mountain

Maid Barbarian cannot get to him, and asked Old Farmer Warlock to do something

Old Farmer Warlock decides to simply blast him

The cultist are using the commoner stat block, instant death

His knife falls out of his hand, and the wife catches it

Maid Barbarian sees this and armlocks the hand behind her back

She drops the knife, and it is sent down the mountain to the earth

Maid Barbarian makes a comment on how the man must have been suicidal to the woman, to try to send them to their doom like that

”Better death than oblivion”

Maid Barbarian does some acrobatics to untie the man

Debates whether to just cut him and half and have the blood and guts fall on his wife on the way down

Decides against this, and just tosses him off of the mountain

They continue up, and reach the top

Are met by the guards, who bring them up and gets them situated

The woman tries and fails to run off of the mountain top, is stopped by Maid Barbarian’s firm grip

They rapellel down the other side, back to the Grand Duchy and away from that unfamiliar land

Halfway down, the cultist woman goes into a freefall

Her rope gets caught by the Maid Barbarian, but falls enough to warrant a d4 of damage

With her shit luck, would most likely get a 1 and would only be lightly bruised

Gets a 4 and the woman falls unconscious

Maid Barbarian decided to rappel down with her

Gets a shit roll, and they both go into a freefall,

Maid Barbarian catches herself and the woman’s rope, but the woman falls enough to warrant another d4 of damage

Most likely going to just get a 1 or 2 and be fine, if still unconscious on a cliff

Gets a 4, and her head cracks against the rocks

Shit.png

Maid Barbarian retrieves the body and gets to the bottom safely

Goes back to the outpost to meet back up with the vampire lieutenant

After taking a bath to get all of the blood off of them, they head up

Finds the lieutenant waiting for them, and is out of uniform

Congratulates them on not only spreading fear among the cultists, but going above and beyond bringing one back alive

Says that the live one would make a good gift to the Duke and Duchess themselves

Askes to.. “experience” the dead woman, and her blood should still be warm

They agree, and leave the room for a few minutes

Come back, and the lieutenant looks a lot healthier, with a red flush fresh in his cheeks

Smiles, pays Old Farmer Warlock 100 gp for his work and the “excellent meal”

For the Maid Barbarian, writes a letter recommending 1 week off as her reward

Maid Barbarian is surprised at the generosity, and accepts this along with the praise from the admiral

Sessions ends with them heading back by carriage, looking out at their homeland, and thinking about what they just did

This is technically continued in ChillVampire's Vashian Heist Oneshot.