C2 E13

Let’s just say that folks around here don’t like when folks go and snoop in their business. We don’t have anything against journalist, per se, but momma mia, all these invasive questions! Enough to cause a good man to swear.

## **Story**

### Long Story

Let's paint a picture. It's a cool, fall morning, around 8 am. The trees outside are waves of gold and brown and orange. The scent of the harvest is in the air. A young Hal-Elf/Half-Orc named R'Oarc (wait, why isn't she named R'Elf?) is in her room, writing beat poetry. Her father T'Chuck snoozes away in his room, earplugs firmly in place. There's a knock at the door. Who could it be? This animal that I did see? R'Oarc does the sensible thing and kicks the door wide open, coming face to face with my favorite character, Dictionary Doug! He's in full on detective mode now, going door to door, asking folks about anything they might now. Ya see, Professor Devin Decacog has gone missing. Following last night's fight, Decacog was brought in to The Goblin Pit to sleep, but this morning, he's nowhere to be found. R'Oarc wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would she?

She says she doesn't, but Doug hints that he doesn't quite believe her. He's a tricksy one, that Doug. He's even able to coax out of her that she recently died. She doesn't mention that she was brought to life through the healing powers of Regnier, via Beary, but she does let slip that T'Chuck is a Cleric. Despite her best efforts to cover this up by saying she meant he's a Clerical Worker, he is onto them. Doug calls out to T'Chuck, who finally wakes from his slumber to sleepily join the conversation. T'Chuck also claims not to know anything, but Doug informs them that he'll be keeping a close eye on the two of them. But for now, he's off to go talk to Selene.

Except Selene isn't in her room. She, too, has gone missing. Doug also knows that the koala-themed vigilante known as "Drop Bear" was involved in last night's altercation, so, on a COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, he goes to talk to Screech. The rich man is sound asleep, aided by the use of blackout curtains that give the room a dark-of-night vibe. He wakes, goes to the door, peers out the peephole (lol), but all he can see is a top of a hat. He opens it, coming face to face with my favorite character, Dictionary Doug! I love Dictionary Doug, dude. He's dope. Anyway, Doug and Screech have a bit of a *dick* measuring contest, which is a very funny joke because dick means penis. Both of them are into sleuthing, and quickly enter into a one-ups-man-ship contest of fact-finding. They berate each other's subscription magazine of choice, but still find common ground in the things that they have in common. For example, Doug didn't know he was going to be a detective until Decacog made him one. Screech had a similar experience with his drawings. With the two becoming fast frenemies, Doug invites Screech to join his investigation, and together, they head down to the tavern to ask around about the missing people.

Meanwhile, a concerned T'Chuck goes to check on Selene, but finds her missing (Doug didn't know she was gone until after their conversation. This is all very solid internal logic). He also brings Meat along to check on Decacog's room, but he is, of course, gone as well. Screech and Doug arrive, or T'Chuck and Meat go back downstairs? It's as unclear as it is irrelevant. Point is, they all converge and begin comparing notes. Doug is almost certain that Decacog fled in the night, and it's likely that Selene went after him. R'Oarc posits that, when someone goes missing, it's usually those closest to them who are behind it, so she accuses Doug of disappearing Decacog! Game recognizes game, so a truce is called, and everyone decides to work together to find their missing friends. A payment is negotiated, of 5 gold per day, to come out of *The Farhold Trumpeter's* coffers. But before they head out, R'Oarc gives a quick, impromptu performance. It's mostly about how T'Chuck is a clerical worker. Doug doesn't believe her. He likes the song, though.

The investigate begins. Footprints! Selene-shaped footprints, following along some Decacog-shaped footprints. Theses lead off to a cave near the outskirts of town, whereupon the group finds some "very loose dirt". Screech produces a special **Dirt Scooping Pen**TM, to Dictionary Doug's respect. Screech (obviously) scoops some of that dirt with it, which causes the dirt to sink in. Out from the ground, emerges a giant creature! It's an insect like thing, but it's really big, which I personally hate. And it attacks, which the group personally hates.

Screech, of course, immediately runs and hides, but then begins shooting the thing with a bow and arrow. The creature spits some acid at T'Chuck. R'Oarc swings her rapier around wildly, and is just having the darnedest time making a connection. Not in, like, an emotional way, although maybe that too. I mean she can't hit the thing. Screech, surprisingly not in costume, runs back out with a sword, and removes a leg from the creature, then picks up that leg to wail on it. Finally, T'Chuck is able to end the thing with a swing of his mace. With the battle won, he ducks behind a nearby tree to cast *Cure Wounds* on himself, stealthily.

### Short

Dictionary Doug, the greatest detective in the world, is going around asking about Devin Decacog and Selene, both of whom have gone missing in the night. He learns from R'Oarc (by accident) that T'Chuck is a Cleric, learns from Screech that Screech is a detective. Everyone teams up to find their missing friends. They find their footprints leading out to a cave near the outskirts of town, where they are attacked by a giant insect-like creature. They are able to kill it, though.

## **Trivia**

* Day ~~4~~ 5 of the campaign.
* The party is Level 3 now!
* R'Oarc usually wakes up at around 9:30am, which is actually sleeping in. T'Chuck sleeps later, because he works the late shift.
* Screech usually goes to bed around the time that most people are waking up. But he doesn't sleep long. Because evil never sleeps.
* Dictionary Doug was named "Greatest Detective in the World" by *Detective Monthly*.
* Screech is subscribed to *Sleuther's Quarterly*, which recently named the Squirrel Man as it's premiere detective.

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
* Nika Howard - R'Oarc
* Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo

### **Non-Player Characters**

* Dictionary Doug
* Meat

### **Locations**

* Drunkeros
	+ Whispering Peaks
		- Rimeford
			* T'Chuck and R'Oarc's house
			* The Goblin Pit
			* The caves outside of town

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [Active] - Investigate the mysterious goings-on in Rimeford
	+ [On-Hold] - Investigate the mines, eliminate the Knocker threat
* [NEW][Active] - Find Selene and Professor Devin Decacog
* [Selene] - Investigate the light in the window of the White Spire
* [Selene] - Kill Professor Devin Decacog

### **Quotes**

* **"If he doesn't shit his pants, I'm gonna punch him in the stomach so hard that he will shit his pants."** ~ *R'Oarc, about Screech*

## **Rolls**

* **R'Oarc** rolls *Deception* to convince Dictionary Doug that T'Chuck is not a Cleric - 13
	+ He doesn't believe her

* **T'Chuck** rolls *Perception* as Dictionary Doug is calling out to him - 17
	+ He thinks he hears a commotion upstairs

* **R'Oarc** rolls *Persuasion* to convince Dictionary Doug through her song that T'Chuck is a clerical worker (with Advantage) - 12
	+ He doesn't believe her

* **T'Chuck** rolls *Survival* to find clues around town - 19
	+ He finds some of Selene's boot prints

* They all roll *Perception* while searching for Selene in the caves
	+ **Screech** - 18
	+ **T'Chuck** - 22
	+ **R'Oarc** - 20
		- They all notice the loose soil

*Combat Begins vs Insect Creature*

* Initiative
	+ **Screech** - 28
	+ **R'Oarc** - 11
	+ **T'Chuck** - 10
	+ Insect Creature

*Round One*

* **Screech**
	+ Runs off, uses a Bonus Action to Hide, using *Stealth* - 24
		- Success - He is hidden
	+ Ranged Attack vs Insect Creature (Sneak Attack) (with Advantage) - 18
		- Hit - 10 damage

* **R'Oarc**
	+ Melee Attack (Rapier) vs Insect Creature - 6
		- Miss

* **T'Chuck**
	+ Makes an *Athletics* check to Grapple it - 11
		- Against its Strength check - 15
			* Not grappled
	+ Unarmed Strike (Shield) vs Insect Creature - 15
		- Hit - 4 damage

* **Insect Creature**
	+ Ranged Attack (Acid Slobber) vs T'Chuck, requiring a Dexterity saving throw - 11
		- Fail - 10 Acid damage

*Round Two*

* **Screech**
	+ Awkward Melee Attack (Sword (and Leg)) vs Insect Creature (x2) (Sneak Attack) - 17, 25
		- Hit, Hit - 15 + 4 damage

* **R'Oarc**
	+ Melee Attack (Rapier) vs Insect Creature - 6
		- Miss
	+ Uses a Bonus Action to give T'Chuck Bardic Inspiration

* **T'Chuck**
	+ Melee Attack (Mace) vs Insect Creature - 24
		- Hit - 7 damage - *Kills It*

*Combat Ends*