Everything is So Shitty/Confessionals

### Day 31

I have been lacking on the confessional front, as I’ve been a bit busy, so I’ll just quickly recap what had happened in the past day or so.
I came on a bit late for the immunity results so I didn’t notice who won each category until a bit later. I’ll get to those results later. Nicole ended up winning her second immunity challenge in a row, which is good for her and Tobi and Zakirah didn’t win so we were locked and loaded for the vote.
Now, for the results. Some things were predictable, like Chloe sweeping the positives, Conor sweeping the negatives, Alex taking some relating to bad gameplay and so on. I was personally pretty shocked to win one of the 20 questions, which was the angel one. I’m not complaining, but kind of feels like people see me as a non-entity which worries me a bit for my chances to appeal to the jury going forward
One more thing involving Touchy Subjects I’d like to go over is what categories people thought the majority would pick me as. Chloe and Conor picked me as easiest to persuade like, as these confessionals show I do things on my own terms. I also got some for worst liar and being forgotten which is fine. But if one thing’s for certain, I will not forget it. For positives, I got 4 people actually thinking that the majority would trust me, a 15 year old twig is astonishing. What did I do to have people pick me for that?
Onto tribal! This vote seemed relatively simple, which was good, but of course, Zakirah has to come out of the woodwork with Alex to try and shake things up last minute. They tried to get Conor and Chloe to flip to them and vote out Joe. Of course it didn’t work out, seemingly thanks to Zakirah being condescending, so all it did was make him a target.
Tribal results were posted, and despite an obvious tie incoming, the vote ended up being 5-4, which doesn’t add up at first because there are eight people left in the game, so somebody obviously used a double vote, which ended up being Conor. Say what you want about him, he’s a dang good player, and although he is on my side, it scares me what he can do. I do not want to go to the end with him because he will obviously beat me.
Finally for new events, the loved ones visit happened! Asa, the icon, was my loved one and I’m super happy she’s here. She’s a great friend and I really hope I end up winning immunity to keep her at camp! I feel bad asking her to help out with the challenge, so I won’t force her to if she’s too busy.
There are also other loved ones here too and we have some mega ORG legends like Tyler Ridgeway and Jamie, along with cool people in the community like Dani, Wendy and Nadine! Overall, this seems like it’s gonna be a great round and I’m excited.
Overall, everything seems to be going great, but I’m not too happy with my overall gameplay. I feel it fares bad for my argument. As the numbers dwindle, there are less and less chances to make moves, so I need to be prepared to do stuff to have a case for the jury and won’t be seen as Joe’s follower or Conor’s follower for not suggesting the obvious target first.
I think in these next few rounds I need to step up my social game, because that seems like the best way for me to win. I have 3 friends on the jury, and I think if I try to cater to them and my more lowkey game, hopefully I can take the title. However, I know that I can’t be against people like Nicole, Chloe or Conor if I want to do this, so I think my best bets are Alex, and potentially Joe? I don’t know if I’d be able to beat him or not. We’ll see, because I shouldn’t be thinking this far ahead.

But anyways this challenge comes out and I'm instantly thinking, well time to pack my bags and leave bc there's no way I'm beating Nicole in this one. And I genuinely would not have been able to beat her if she hadn't been logged into her puzzle account and all her scores been visible. Like I for real would have given up after much less time and agony spent on those early puzzles if I hadn't seen that her scores were virtually impossible to achieve. SO I set aside a huge portion of my night last night and my day before class this morning to bust my ass on those puzzles and make sure my score was at least better than hers in the ones I could get them to. I didn't want to roll over and die. I literally worked so hard in the challenge alone that my hands were going numb im sdkfnkc… So then results come out and I fucking won and at first I'm extremely happy but then I realize I'm just gonna have to keep winning immunities if I want to make it to the end and that's literally my least favorite kind of player kdsnksf.
So I'm thinking that we have to make the other side misplay their idol this round and get the upperhand. We have to get them to vote Alex so we can tie the vote. All these things are running through my mind and Joe plays his stupid fucking auction idol he told me he was never going to play. Nicole and I have to vote 40 minutes early. At first I'm thinking wow they fucking planned this, all 4 of them did, and they're gonna idol whoever we vote for to get Nicole out (which honestly doesn't really make any sense now that I think about it lmfao) so I decide to use this to make a statement to them that we don't care when we vote our minds aren't changing and Joe needs to go, so we both vote him (my original idea was to have her vote Joe and me vote Conor to confuse them but Nicole didn't like this idea !), and then Joe starts fighting me! Lmfao, it was hysterical imo because I knew there was no way I was going to get any of them to work with me so I didn't really care what they thought about me at all, so I put Joe completely on blast, and then started to rethink my vantage point and starting bashing the fuck out of Chloe and Conor, specifically to try and get Miles to flip on them (which I've constantly tried to do but the kid is impossible to talk to sometimes). This then turns into me and Chloe having a heart to heart (during which she almost outright stated she wasn't going to work with me in the game sdijndkv) to then having Joe apologize to me in my PMs over the fighting in the main chat. He was then telling me about his headspace right now and how he feels about certain things regarding this game and the org and stuff. So I think to myself... Opportunity is knocking at my door. Make Joe flip. Somehow.
Idk if this will actually work but there's a very, very slight chance I may be able to save Nicole tonight. If I can somehow be nice enough and shoulder-to-lean-on enough to Joe tonight and tomorrow, I may convince him to see Conor as the best option to vote out tonight. I'm gonna have to turn a self proclaimed goat into a huge threat right now, knowing full well he probably found the idol again (either that or it's Miles and that's why he's so awkward to talk to). It will probably be the most iconic thing I ever do in any org if I can somehow pull this off.
The only downside I can see for Nicole staying is that she's pretty good at challenges, but with the fact that the next challenge is live and Nicole has like severe anxiety I don't think her immunity wins will matter much next round so if they want to vote her out then they can go for it. The funny thing is Joe tried publicly throwing me under the bus about throwing Nicole under the bus to Joe went right over Nicole's head. He literally said it two times while Nicole was reading the chat and she was completely fucking unphased by it I was...geeking.
Hopefully this makes up for my lack of confessionals lately! I'm a busy boy!

So yeah Tobi was gonna go 6-2 so I thought all round. But then literally 90 minutes before the deadline Zak/Alex have a sudden change of heart and wanted Joe gone and it turned into an argument between Chloe and them (I was afk oops). it just seemed SO RANDOM this close to the deadline they would try and change it, like??? I was not here for that because my game Joe staying over Tobi seemed better for my game. But Zak/Alex were being so demanding for literally no reason. Then to top it off one of them threw Chloe under the bus to Tobi because he knew Chloe didn't want him to stay. Like???? This made me think that Zak/Alex had some sort of long term plans or something with Tobi bc why tf are you throwing an ally in your F4 alliance under the bus??A t this point I was done, and I wanted to get Zak tf outta here. But unfortunately Miles/Joe had already voted lol. To try and gain their trust more (Joe/Miles), I told Zak/Alex I'd vote Joe with them but then voted Tobi with my double vote and 5-4'd him. Then Zak got bitter after tribal, hasn't been speaking to me/Chloe, blamed us in the tribe chat for "ghosting him", dude communication is a two way street. But Zak :) You should know don't fuck with me or you're dead.

### Day 32

I'm still super nervous for this tribal though lmao. Zak's been campaigning to Miles/Joe about getting me/chloe out. and IDK it would suck so much if they flipped now especially since I only just saved Joe with an advantage. Plus it REALLY wouldn't make sense for Joe/Miles to flip now. At F6 or F5 I can see why and understand why and have respect. But right now it has no benefits for them to flip on us when we're planning to take them to at least F5!! Zak has only just started to care about their votes. But yeah, it would suck so much to go now since I've tried so hard and done a lot in this game. I'm just so nerve racked rn, kill me

The plan was supposed to be easy tonight, but four votes on Nicole and watch her go home, but about an hour before the vote was due, Joe decided to DM suggesting we go after Conor instead, but personally I don't think that it's the right time to do so. With Conor gone, the trio of Zak, Alex and Nicole basically remain alive and there's a chance that Chloe would feel betrayed by us, and Joe and I would be stuck in either a 4-2 or 3-2-1 situation, doomed to be voted out next.
The vote is about to be posted soon, and I've just bonded a ton with Nicole and I've just found out that this is her last ORG, which makes me feel terrible for voting her, but it's too late now and I have to stop feeling regret over voting people out. I've felt so bad voting out people I've never really even been aligned with, and I do think that is one of my weakest points.
From here on out, I think the goal would to vote out Chloe and Zakirah. I know that the last time I voted for Chloe I was a total mess, but as the end stretch nears, I really want to win this game, and with Chloe at the end with me she'll most likely sweep the jury. Zak may not be the most liked, but he has worked his ass off all game, so I do think the jury may respect his game and vote for him too.
For Conor, I do feel like that he has a very good shot at gaining some jury votes because of the game he played, but there are people on the jury, such as Brian, who absolutely despise him, and if I decide to take him with me and Alex is on the jury, that may be another vote going for not Conor. Then there's Alex, who I feel like pretty much everyone left in the game could beat. I don't really know what he's done all game, and I think the jury pretty much would favour literally anyone else. Finally, there's Joe. Joe's a tricky one because he's received so many votes and being targeted, which is something I could easily use against him in the end, saying that I was never even thought of a target until a certain point, while he received votes every other round. He could turn it around though, and say that despite being targeted, he managed to flip the script. I know Joe has been a lot more vocal than I have been, so that could also be against me, as I've had some ideas, but I've been too scared to say them out loud, and he comes out with similar ideas, and will obviously get all the credit for them, so I need to be careful with that too.