Episode 97

EDIT

dylan talks about the celebrity surgeon scammer while broti talks about the awful plan to bring back the dodo

recapped by Kevin on 2/8/2023

## Episode Summary

### Introduction

* Dylan begins to introduce the pod but she stops to question Broti's physical position on camera
* Dylan is struggling with new zoom settings
* Broti reveals that her name on zoom is driving Dylan crazy
* Broti is the 5th version of BrotiGupta, just like The Matrix
	+ One of the 5 is the Broti in the mirror
* Is this anything?
	+ I went to a funhouse mirror and nobody knew you (Broti's verdict: no)
		- Broti has follow-ups
			* Where is the funhouse? (at the world's fair)
			* Where is the world's fair this year? (Alaska)
			* Where is Broti? (in line for the rollercoaster)
			* How long is the rollercoaster line? (25 minutes)
			* Does Broti get to go to the funhouse? (After Dylan leaves)
		- This would make a good poster, get on it reddit
* Dylan has forgotten what she wants to talk about other than a new prestige Von Trapp show
	+ Broti decides (like I did) that this is a mashup of The Prestige and The Sound of Music
	+ Broti confuses a tuning fork with a pitch pipe
		- Dylan enjoys this so much that she regrets not choosing this as her topic
* Broti reveals that she and Dylan are friends when they are not recording
* Dylan is not ready to move on from the Von Trapp show so they go for another round
	+ Broti is delighted by Dylan's suggested title, "Von"
* Live Podcast Reveal: Broti's friend's dad has COVID
* Broti's general topics:
	+ Her new pants are too long
	+ Broti and Greg have been watching The Last of Us
	+ Devon is watching The Last of Us alone since Dylan dislikes most TV
		- Notable exceptions:
			* 30 Rocks
			* America's Funniest Home Videos
			* Special Forces : World's Toughest Test is Dylan's big recommendation for Lecture Hall TV Club
				+ Greg is not interested and has been trying to hide it from Broti
	+ Trying to learn Claire De Lune on Piano but Dylan is real rude about this

### Mailbag

* Updates and birds from Amy
	+ An absolute banger of a mailbag
	+ D&B have effusive praise for this mailbag
	+ Dylan is confused by the pigeon contraption
	+ Broti is afraid of the pigeon contraption
	+ Shout out to Karen's praise
* Daily horse theory by Kailey (?)
	+ Dylan has seen a horse today, via Instagram
	+ Broti has not seen a horse today, Dylan disagrees
	+ "Punchausen by Boxy" - Broti's dojo
* Oh no it's Garth being chased by a hammer-wielding madman
	+ Is Garth safe?
	+ What the fuck are you talking about, Garth?
	+ Slow down, man
	+ Dylan thinks about the treadmill bar alot (reference to where this came up here)
	+ Dylan is confused about a boxing gym where you can drink after practice
	+ Broti is insistent that you will immediately get drunk at the boxing gym but all Dylan wants to talk about is how sweaty everyone is
* First time short time by Arianna, Phew!
	+ Broti feels like this mailbag was a good effort
	+ D&B admit they are getting worse and worse at reading, both out loud and "inside"
	+ Broti blames all the Agatha Christie books she read, phew!
	+ Dylan hasn't finished any books lately, she just buys new ones
	+ The instinct to finish a book is school-based, or maybe shame-based
	+ Dylan recommends A Room of One's Own, a book Broti may not be able to finish
		- How's this going?
* Dylan asks if Broti knows anything about the surgeon scammer, and it is revealed that Devon read something under Broti's tweet and that inspired Dylan to do it as her topic
	+ Devon is devoted to Broti's twitter
	+ Devon and Greg are real "watchers"

### Dylan's Topic

* Dylan gives a real teaser intro
	+ This is the first Dylan topic I can recall that comes from a longread so her structure is a little different than normal
* D&B do not want plastic tracheas transplanted, as they generally don't like thinking about their own wind pipes
	+ "Wind Pipe" = a slur for your throat
* Dylan is clearly enjoying reading this topic as its written like a typical bananas longread
* Dylan doesn't think it's crazy to have to move out at 18 because your dad married your neighbor
* D&B do not like the Dos Equis' spokesman known as The Most Interesting Man in The World
* Is this something?
	+ Bridge of Sighs? Bridge of Size?
	+ As usual they solicit us for a joke about this
	+ "Bridge of Size - more like [blank]?"
	+ Voice memos accepted
* We can all relate to the moral dilemma of whether or not to tell our boss Meredith Viera that we're having an a romantic relationship with a subject
* Dylan uses the phrase "famous Italian genius" and I wish they would have dived deeper on the list of famous Italian geniuses
* Dylan thinks that on Christmas Day you should be married to Santa Claus
	+ Broti thinks you propose with milk & cookies
	+ D&B were not milk and cookie families
	+ Broti's mom explained that Santa could just heat up some leftovers, a real Broti's-mom-phones-it-in moment
	+ Dylan believes that the milk and cookies just go to waste but Broti surprises all of us by explaining that someone just eats them
* Broti reveals she was just thinking about a tent from Dick's Sporting Goods that resembles the Pope Mobile, where the Pope goes camping
	+ Broti is delighted by Dylan's imagining of the Pope taking his little car to Dick's for Lacrosse equipment
	+ I am personally tickled by Broti's image of a marshmallow being roasted out of a hole in the Pope Mobile Tent
* Dylan imagines a really funny intramural soccer team
	+ Matthew Christopher +1
	+ The Obamas
	+ The Clintons
	+ The Putins
	+ The Sarkozys
	+ Andrea Bocelli
	+ Kofi Annan
	+ Russell Crowe
	+ Elton John
	+ John Legend
	+ Kenny Rogers
	+ Meredith Viera
	+ Pope Francis
* Dylan makes it about her by mentioning the restaurant she used to work at, Michael's
* D&B love the idea of the Holy Press Office
	+ Enough!
* Broti likes the idea of paying a doctor to expedite a procedure
* Lecture Hall loves a crazy guy who is lying
* Actors = Fake Surgeons
* Thanks for the topic, Devon

### Broti's Topic

* Broti introduces her topic and invites critics and investors to join her in learning about the effort to revive the dodo bird (+ woolly mammoth)
* Dylan quickly realizes that she's already mentioned the woolly mammoth effort during her cloning topic
* How do they know when and how the last dodo was killed?
	+ Broti doesn't know. Look it up!
* Like Lecture Hall, reviving the dodo is not an effort to make money
* Broti, an idiot Indian-American girl, feels like if we can revive species from extinction maybe we don't need to worry as much about extinction
* Dylan admits this is hard for her to wrap her head around
	+ Broti gives her a nice summary of the topic so far, which is more enjoyable to listen to then her original description
	+ Dylan sums it up even better - "they're trying to Queer Eye a pigeon into becoming a Dodo"
	+ N I C O B A R - a real gorgeous lady, actually stunning
* Where can Woolly Mammoths live?
	+ Dylan's apartment
* Broti is willing to help Dodos and Woolly Mammoths acclimate to the wild
	+ Broti is coming up with the Pixar movie
	+ Dylan would hang out with them
	+ Broti would teach them how to get on zoom and start a podcast
* Shout out to stupid Boris Worm
	+ Should be more scared of the Dodo, a bird
	+ Come on, worm!
	+ Broti reminds us all that she just ate a worm
	+ Dylan had mealworm pets that she did not eat, they just got thrown out
* Broti reflects on the "arts and crafts" childhood of others and is excited her parents did not participate
	+ Dylan again is confused about what happens to milk and cookies
* Dylan is excited about the great mailbag this week
* Um, yeah, Broti's gotta get her pants shortened at Hillhurst cleaners
* It's 2:40 for Dylan, so she's gotta go
* Bye!