Fast Jerma

Fast Jerma running fast

"*fast jerma is cool because he can run so fast*"
—"The Cool Guy Contest"
**Fast Jerma** (**Jerma** for short) is one of two protagonists from the web series *Fast Jerma and Purple Alien*, alongside Purple Alien, who is his best friend and rival. Fast Jerma has a tendency to mirror whatever Purple Alien does. He is based off of Twitch streamer Jeremy "Jerma985" Harrington, who also plays both characters, initially without his knowledge.

## Fictional Biography

### Initial Run-In

Everything was well and good until Fast Jerma decided to make fun of Purple Alien's chapstick on E1M1. This proved to be a dangerous mistake, as Purple Alien retaliated, and chased him through space all the way back to the alien's home planet. There, Fast Jerma fought an awesome battle against Purple Alien with his fisticuffs. After realizing that the battle was evenly matched and wouldn't end anytime soon (because their fists never managed to hit each other), Fast Jerma and the alien decided to call a truce, and with a handshake, they decided to become friends.

### The Cool Guy Contest

Now back on Earth, the two friends were walking on a street one day to get burgers, when they spotted a billboard advertising a Cool Guy Contest with a prize of $50. Thinking it was pretty cool, the two friends became excited and decided that they would participate in the contest. Purple Alien said he'll win the contest, and Fast Jerma scoffed at him. Determined to show of their coolness, the two of them showed off their skills to impress and outdo each other. Fast Jerma showed how cool he was by running really fast. Unimpressed, Purple Alien showed that he was cool by doing a wheelie on a dirtbike, which Jerma dismissed. Fast Jerma showed Purple Alien a bunch of cool tricks he could do on his skateboard. Still unperturbed, Purple Alien showed Fast Jerma that he was cool by beating up nasty monsters, the prospect of which terrified Fast Jerma. During their feud of deciding who was cooler, Purple Alien hit Fast Jerma on the head while the latter was trying to show off his scooter skills.

As the contest was starting, however, the two of them stopped fooling around and arrived at the venue. There, the two of them sized up their competition, which consisted of Fever Steve and Frosty. A computer then calculated the results of the competition, and displayed each contestant's body temperature, with Fast Jerma and Purple Alien both reaching 98.6°F. Frosty, at 32°F won the contest. The two friends at that moment realized that the contest was using the word literally, and was all about who had the lowest temperature, rather than who was the most impressive and stylish as they assumed. Upon realizing this, Fast Jerma and Purple Alien became rather miffed and left.

### Day at the Roller Coaster

One day, Fast Jerma and Purple Alien decided to go for a leisurely day at the amusement park. Fast Jerma seemed like he wanted to ride the roller coaster, "The Seat Shitter" and asked Purple Alien if he was ready. After initially replying "Yes," Fast Jerma pushed his answer, as he seemed too casual to ride a roller coaster. He needed his full commitment, as it requires at least two people to ride. Purple Alien clarified that he actually had no interest in riding the coaster, and would not join him. Fast Jerma simply asked, "Why not?" which elicited a decision to ride the coaster with his friend. Once seated, Fast Jerma declared how eager he was to ride the coaster, hearing it was the scariest ride at the park. Purple Alien asked if Jerma was scared, but he denied it, something Purple Alien doubted. Instead, he insisted that Purple Alien was scared. As the coaster started, Jerma again insisted that Purple Alien would be the one to scream, not him. Purple Alien denied it, and countered the claim, to which Fast Jerma denied. He then insisted again that Purple Alien would be the one who would scream, but he denied it once again. As the ride crested and began to descend, indeed, Fast Jerma was the one to start screaming, followed shortly by Purple Alien. After a bout of screaming, Fast Jerma nearly puked, and became sick of Purple Alien's screaming, so he hit him, 'causing Purple Alien to quickly one-eighty his disposition and became elated. Fast Jerma wondered why every wooden roller coaster did this. As Fast Jerma claimed he was alright, Purple Alien caught sight of the whole park, and got the attention of Fast Jerma, asking if he could see, to which he offhandedly and repeatedly insisted he did. Fast Jerma then tried to emulate Purple Alien's elation, but only gave out a pathetic, wheezy, and half-hearted "Wee...!" Realizing how bad it was and laughing, he promised he'd give his friend a better yell of joy, But he clarified this is what he would do on a roller coaster, not screaming. Purple Alien then responded he wouldn't scream, to which an annoyed Fast Jerma smacked him to interrupt him, which caused him to scream. Shortly after, Fast Jerma yelped out again.

### Stranded on a Desert Island

Fast Jerma and Purple Alien eventually came into possession of a helicopter, and were flying it over the ocean one day near a tropical desert island. Unfortunately, during their flight, they flew right into a giant bird, which exploded and sent the helicopter spinning out of control, until it crash landed on the island. The crash sent Fast Jerma and Purple Alien flying out of the helicopter, knocking them out.

Several hours later, the two of them awoke, and were horrified to see that they had become stranded on a desert island. They decided that the two of them would need to work together to survive on the island. Purple Alien's job was to look for food, while Fast Jerma would build a wooden shelter with his Minecraft pickaxe. Purple Alien spotted a coconut in the tree, and became very scared and confused about what it was. So instead, being careful to not step on a plate of turkey, Purple Alien walked by a Burger King, and encountered a rock. Picking up the rock and eating it, he decided that it would make for some good food, so he gathered a bucket full of rocks, and tossed the bucket back towards the now barely-completed shelter that Fast Jerma made, blowing it up and completely destroying the shelter, much to Fast Jerma's disbelief. Now getting dark, Fast Jerma and Purple Alien now had no food and no shelter. So instead, they decided to reverse-crash their helicopter, and flew away from the island, headed into the sunset.

### Encounter with the Witch

Flying away from the island, Fast Jerma and Purple Alien tried heading home in their helicopter. However, their previous crash landing on the island damaged their onboard navigation system, so the two had difficulty figuring out where to go. Flying for days without any real idea of where they were headed, they eventually came to a swamp. While trying to navigate the wetlands, the dark sky and thick fog was impairing their vision, leading them to accidentally chipping their helicopter against a stone hut which exploded. Luckily, the pair managed to land the helicopter safely (if clumsily) on the ground, and exited the vehicle to inspect the damage.

Just then, however, a ghastly witch suddenly appeared in front of them, enraged that the two had destroyed her hut with their poor flying. Declaring that the two would pay, she laughed maniacally before vanishing. A moment later, Fast Jerma and Purple Alien were magically shrunken down, with Jerma screaming in terror. After regaining their composure, the two friends decided to see if they could find a cure for the curse the witch had placed on them, and began looking around for a solution. Out of the darkness, however, a figure began to emerge, and the pair began to feel unperturbed, until they realized the figure was a frog. Still cautious, the frog miraculously began to speak to the two, referring to the two as "brave warriors." The frog revealed that he was once a powerful wizard, who challenged the witch's rule of the swamp in a magic duel, but lost, and was transformed into a frog. The wizard is greatly weakened in this form, and has only enough power to grant a single wish, and offers to give it to the pair, on the condition that they help them to take back the swamp from the witch's evil rule, and restoring him to his original body. The two of them agree introducing themselves to the frog. Asking what their wish is, the two think long and hard, before choosing to being teleported to a scientist who can make them big again. The frog promptly grants their wish, first teleporting Jerma out of the swamp, followed by Purple Alien.

### Trouble in the Lab

Fast Jerma appeared in the lab first, being followed shortly by Purple Alien. After greeting each other, they spotted the scientist, and tried to get his attention. However, the scientist's old age prevented him from seeing or hearing the tiny duo, and in fact, sneezed, forcing the two to dive out of the way. Just when they thought they were clear of danger however, a shadow appeared above the two of them, and they were forced once again, to dive out of the way of a falling rock, into the adjacent sink. Looking up, they saw their assailant was a black cat, who the pair quickly realized was the swamp witch's evil minion. The cat proceeded to drop a box full of nails into the sink, followed by a box full of hammers. The two were miraculously unscathed, so the cat resorted to dropping a box of pills labelled "Viagra" into the sink. Ever so eager to take the pills, Fast Jerma grabbed one and immediately swallowed it, with Purple Alien reluctantly following suit. However, the "Viagra" label on the box was an illusion, and after fading away, revealed that the two had taken diarrhea pills. At that moment, Jerma and the alien immediately felt the effects, and began to violently and profusely in their pants.

The cat teleported elsewhere, and the duo, still stuck in the sink, began to flap their arms, perhaps to waft away the terrible odors emanating from themselves, or to fly out of the sink, or perhaps both. Screaming from their debacle, the scientist still didn't hear the two, and turned on the sink, submerging the two. Now underwater, the two were still uncontrollably evacuating their bowels, but managed to swim to the surface, and made their way to the edge of the sink, managing to climb out. Making their way across the scientist's counter top, they heard a familiar cat meow, and looked across the room to see the cat once again. Equipping a bazooka, the cat aimed and fired a rocket at the two. Purple Alien, thinking quickly on his feet, managed to deflect the rocket by swinging his baseball bat at it, and it flew straight back at the cat, blowing it up, and forcing it to lose one of its nine lives. The scientist however, still unaware of his surroundings, clumsily knocked over two glasses onto the pair, trapping them. With their air supply cut off, Fast Jerma began to panic, until their air supply ran out and they suffocated to death.

### Resurrection

At some point, the deceased bodies of Fast Jerma and Purple alien were summoned by the Magical Frog to his hidden tree lair within the swamp. There, along with the help of Purple Alien's Uncle Nose, the two of them were magically revived by the frog. Fast Jerma was revived shortly after Purple Alien, singing a heavenly note of joy for being alive. Just then, a breaking news report began playing on the television, explaining that the scientist has pled guilty to two counts of involuntary manslaughter, and was awaiting execution via being shot out of a cannon into the ocean, scheduled to occur in ten minutes. Anxious, the Magical Frog urged Fast Jerma, Purple Alien, and Uncle Nose to head out and save him at once.

## Possessions

* **Phone:** Fast Jerma has a phone he likes to text on.
* **Skateboard:** Fast Jerma owns a skateboard, and he's not bad with one either.
* **Scooter:** Not only does Fast Jerma ride a skateboard, but he also rides a Razor scooter, even though he's too big for it.
* **Helicopter:** Fast Jerma appears to have come into co-ownership of a helicopter with Purple Alien. It may have some anomalous time-travelling abilities.
* **Minecraft pickaxe:** Fast Jerma owns a Minecraft pickaxe which he can use to build structures.

## Abilities

* **Speed:** Fast Jerma is so named because he can run really fast. He can run so fast, that in fact, he is able to run through outer space itself using nothing but his feet, travelling from E1M1 through space to Purple Alien's home planet.
* **Breathing in Space:** While in the airless vacuum of space, Fast Jerma was able to run and even talk with nothing but the clothes on his back.
* **Skateboarding tricks:** Fast Jerma can do some cool tricks with a skateboard.
* **Scootering:** Fast Jerma can ride a scooter that is two times too small for him.
* **Diplomacy:** Decided to call a truce with Purple Alien, and they subsequently became friends. Fast Jerma was also able to instantly gain the trust of and befriend a Magical Frog simply by saying "Yeah."
* **Healthy body temperature:** Fast Jerma has a healthy body temperature of 98.6°F. While this admittedly does not make him very cool, this does enable him to live a healthy life, unlike Fever Steve.
* **Helicopter piloting:** Fast Jerma possesses at least basic ability to fly a helicopter, but then again he did manage to fly right into a bird which crashed the thing.
* **Construction:** Fast Jerma can build a life-size house with nothing but planks of wood and a Minecraft pickaxe. Combined with his speed, he can construct an entire house in mere moments.
* **Time reversal?:** Fast Jerma and Purple Alien were able to fly off the island despite crashing their helicopter. As the helicopter crashed in reverse, this may provide evidence of them having the ability to reverse time.
* **Swimming:** Fast Jerma demonstrated an ability to swim, being able to get out of a kitchen sink while shrunken down.
* **Singing:** Fast Jerma sang in joy after coming back to life, holding a note for a pretty long time.

## Behind the Scenes

* The footage used for Fast Jerma originates from Jerma's Green Screen stream, found here. Starting from "The Witch's Curse Part 3: Resurrection", footage was also used from Jerma's Second Green Screen stream found here.

## Trivia

* Fast Jerma is a Bostonian runner of short stature and extreme speed, but he is not to be confused with the Scout from *Team Fortress 2*.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 "fast jerma vs purple alien"
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 "The Cool Guy Contest" Cite error: Invalid `<ref>` tag; name ":1" defined multiple times with different content Cite error: Invalid `<ref>` tag; name ":1" defined multiple times with different content Cite error: Invalid `<ref>` tag; name ":1" defined multiple times with different content
3. ↑ fast jerma and purple alien ride on the roller coaster
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 "Tropical Trouble!"
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 "The Witch's Curse Part 1"
6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 "The Witch's Curse Part 2: The Scientist"
7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 "The Witch's Curse Part 3: Resurrection"