I’d Rather Read It Myself

## Plot

The episode starts with Lincoln telling the audience about how Winston and Skippy Fieldman drive Lana crazy. He explains about how they want to prove they're better at everything. The Fieldmans said to Lana that they can scream louder than Lana. Lana said she does not care. But the Fieldmans ignored her and started their screaming contest with each other. Plus, they could ride two-wheeler bicycles before Lana could, and they claimed they could even tell time (though in reality, they were just making it up). If only Lana could be the first to do something before the Fieldmans...

The Fieldman Twins build a Burmese tiger trap, or as they call it, a "Burma-ese tiger trap", using a peanut butter cup as bait. It manages to successfully capture Mr. Huggins, although the twins are disappointed that he "broke" their trap, and Grandma Fieldman isn't that pleased that the Fieldmans dug such a deep pit in her yard. Now she'll have to go and buy sod, while the Fieldman Twins stay at the Loud family's house for the afternoon. Lana plans to keep them distracted with playing soccer, but just as she says it, a thunderstorm begins, rendering playing outside out of the question. Lana will have to find some way of entertaining them inside. She suggest they color, but the Fieldmans just scribble really fast into her favorite coloring book, which upsets her. Lincoln’s up in his room, doing 207,000 math problems for homework, and Lana goes to him for advice, since he's had experience dealing with them as a babysitter. Lincoln says the last time he babysat them, he found something that worked, by telling them a story. That could work for Lana, except that she can't read stories, since she can't read anything. But then, neither can the Fieldmans. Lana returns to the den, where the Fieldmans are tracking mud on the ceiling. She announces to the Fieldmans that she will read to them, but the Fieldmans say that that's impossible. Anything Lana can do, they can do. They can't read, and neither can she. The Fieldmans find something for her to read, to prove (or better yet, disprove) her claim. They point to the nameplate on the television in the den. The manufacturer of this television is "Elbozonic" according to the nameplate. Lana claims that it just says "television," but the Fieldmans can't prove she's right, since they can't read either. However, they're still not completely convinced. They find a book in the den for her to read to them; "Little Red Riding Hood," with lots of illustrations, so they'll know if she's reading it right. Lana sounds uncomfortable with that, and picks a book that has all words in it. The Fieldmans are unsure, but Lana tells them not to worry. They sit down, and Lana starts reading. She flips to a random place in the book, and starts to "read".

===The Story of Bana===

This is the story of... Bana! (The Fieldmans are suspicious at first, as it's close to "Lana" but remain quiet so Lana can "read" the rest.)

Bana was a "smart, great, perfect girl", whom was a princess, a genius, and a cool person, but too polite to brag, and she had her own pony as well, and it would sleep in her room with her, and her parents were cool with that. Just one thing keeps Bana's life from being perfect... Her big brother (Lincoln), whom is also a "mega transformalizer". He can turn into a robot form, an airplane, a helicopter, even a lima bean can! He also has an evil partner: Clyde-Trantor, a large robot (Clyde) whom is always hungry and loves eating. Their most recent crime: stealing the world's most valuable snowball! Bana is also an agent with a transporting car, and enlists in the aid of her deer friend Walter, whom zaps her to her brother's hideout. Once there, she manages to escape them by doing flips on a balance beam, and then she begins to escape on her two-wheeler bicycle, and surprises the two robots that she can also ride a "no-wheeler," by jettisoning the wheels from her bike and flying off on it, successfully making it over the octopus-infested lake.

That night. Bana goes to a fancy restaurant with her parents, avoiding eating the spinach as it turns everyone, even her parents, into "spinach heads!" To cure them, she must use the Power Ring of Power, which is being used at her Aunt Sara's wedding, where she manages to retrieve it from a pipe organ and before the Ring of Power is lost inside the center of the Earth. But without her magic blankie, the ring is powerless, so she enlists on the help of Secret Agent Adelaide , whom is so secret, she can turn invisible. They trace it into the super-confusing All-in-One Mart, which is built like a maze, and are initially lost, but Bana finds what appears to be her lost snowball, which can show the way out. They locate the blankie in what looks like Crazy Bus, with Pickles the Clown in the drivers' seat. Bana is sure things are all worked out, but the "Crazy Bus" turns out to be her transforming robot brother, and Pickles is Clyde-Trantor in disguise! Bana is captured. Lincoln admits that he put the snowball in the freezer section of All-in-One Mart. They have successfully tricked Bana, but her faithful eagle Spanky comes to the rescue, ending up with imprisoning the bad guys in a big cage by pushing the big brother's red button which makes Bana's brother crying, but then Spanky dies after doing so, and she and her good friend the President of the United States hold a big funeral for the eagle.

Back in reality, just after Lana reads that, the doorbell rings, and Grandma Fieldman is back to pick up the twins. When Lana leaves the room, the twins tell Lincoln how Lana read to them from one of his books, and asks if they can borrow it. Lincoln says sure, and they do so, telling Lana that Lincoln gave them permission. Once they leave, Lincoln tells Lana they will find out the truth, but Lana doesn't mind, saying for one day, she could do something they couldn't do. At the Fieldmans house that night, Grandma Fieldman begins to read to the twins where Lana left off, but the book is actually about Leonardo da Vinci! The Fieldmans twins figure that the book is magic, and that every time you read it, it tells a different story!

## Characters

### Major

* Lincoln Loud
* Lana Loud
* Skippy and Winston Fieldman

### Minor

* Mrs. Fieldman
* Wilbur Huggins
* Rita Loud

### Cameo

* Clyde McBride (appeared in fantasy)
* Pedro (appeared in fantasy)
* Lynn Loud (appeared in fantasy)
* Sara's husband (appeared in fantasy)
* Shirley (appeared in fantasy)
* Adelaide  (appeared in fantasy)
* Giggles (appeared in fantasy, as a disguise)
* Walt (appeared in fantasy)
* The President (appeared in fantasy)

## Trivia

* Lincoln says he has 207,000 math problems for homework from Mrs. Johnson; this is an insane amount of work even for Mrs. Johnson to pass out. This could, however, just be an exaggeration.
* Walt as Lana's pet bird appears in this episode but only in the story she's telling, except he's not the same bird he was in "So Long, Walt;" he's an eagle.

### Episode connections

* In "Lana Thinks Big," Lincoln says that the ring bearer is always a boy. In Lana's fantasy, Lucy is the ring bearer.
* This episode combines events from episodes of seasons 1 and 2, such as: Lana All Wet, Lana Flips, Lana Rides Again, Lana's Snow Mystery, Lana Thinks Big, Lana's Blankie, So Long, Walt, Lana, the Picky Eater, Play it Again, Lana, Lana Gets Lost, Lana's Deer Friend, and Lana Goes to Washington.
* Numerous incidents from the first two seasons are prominently featured in this episode:
	+ Lana’s friend Pedro the deer.
	+ Lana and the balance beam.
	+ Lana learning to ride a two-wheel bicycle.
	+ Lana's fear of octopi at Bear Lake.
	+ Lana's hatred for spinach.
	+ Aunt Sara's wedding.
	+ Lana's missing blanket.
	+ Getting lost in the Royal Woods Mart.
	+ Crazy Bus as a disguise by Lincoln robot brother.
	+ The death of Lana's bird Spanky.
	+ Lana meeting the President.
* The snowball incident is a central plot element in Lana's story, in which Lincoln really does steal it.

### Cultural references

* The book is about Leonardo da Vinci.
* This episode contains numerous references to Japanese anime:
	+ Lincoln's ability to transform into whatever he pleases in Lana's story may be a parody of *Transformers*.
	+ "Clydetrantor" is based on *Gigantor*, the American adaptation of the Japanese anime *Tetsujin 28-gō*, with similar suit and theme music.
	+ Pedro in this episode has the role of 7-Zark-7, who is a dispatcher on outpost which controls the Transformations by speaking "3, 2, 1, Transmute!" This saying is identical to *Battle of the Planets*, a 1978 TV series which is inspired from a 1972-1974 and 1977-1978 series called *Gatchaman*. "3, 2, 1, Transmute!" was originally spoken as "Bird, Go!" and "Bird, Out!" to activate and deactivate the transformations, respectively. The phrases were spoken in English in the Japanese audio and in the 2005-2006 dub.
	+ *Battle of the Planets* would itself inspire *Captain Planet and the Planeteers*, which "The Power Ring of Power" is inspired from. The rings are able to control parts of the Earth. The name "Power Ring of Power" itself is derived from Captain Planet's phrase "The power is yours!"
* The brand name Elbozonic on Lincoln's family's TV is likely a play on the electronics brand name and manufacturer Panasonic.

### Errors

* In the wedding scene that is based upon Lana Thinks Big, the bride who may or may not resemble Sara is not shown at the wedding and only the look-alike of Sara's husband was shown there; and the Lucy-like girl was being the ring-bearer instead of any male, although being a ring-bearer is a job for males.
* In the scene where the Crazy Bus is actually the evil Lincoln-like mega-transforbalizer, the Blankie is shown to be blue; although it is pink in all of its other appearances.
* Lana states in the story she made up that the lake had 7,000 octopuses in it, but it was a giant sea creature with eleven tentacle legs, which is three more legs than an actual octopus has. However, it might be likely that she cannot precisely determine multiple quantity due to her young age.
* When Lana says that she can read before the Fieldmans, there is no table. But when she says that she's read books since last Thursday, a table full of books appears beside her.

### Production notes

* This is the first episode to use Octopus Arms as a title card.

## Home video

**DVD:**

* Lincoln Writes a Story
* Lincoln Loud: The Complete Series 4