Fire Roasted Kittens

an adventure starring Tanager, Percy, and Barsook.

Tweet length description: It’s the annual fighting tournament! Percy, Tanager and Barsook take on the best Niqamui has to offer and experience the highs and lows of battle.

Setting: Niqamui

NPCs:

* Hulk Harlon
* Ruby Safiosi
* Marjorie Burtle
* Bartholamew Gastelum
* Lozen Iceni
* Kevin Abramovich
* Claire Molotok
* Beatrice Molotok
* Myrrh Goodfellow
* Hagenbeck Van Amburgh
* Aaron, prince of tritons
* Simmond the Kind

Plot Summary:

Our adventurers are shocked to find themselves alone in the guildhall with an empty job board.  After a loud explosion rocks the trio to their senses they realize that today is the one and only annual Niqamui Fighting Tournament.  Eager to earn glory and prestige for the guild, along with a tidy sum from the winner’s purse, they sally forth to the arena.

After arriving at the gorgeous arena, magically constructed on the water so that attendees can see into the pristine bay, Percy helps Barsook while he becomes star struck, while Tanager engages in philanthropic rebranding for the Firebreathing Kittens.  As they wait in line to sign up for the tournament they see a few simple rules.  One: If a participant drops unconscious or is out of the ring for 10 counts they are eliminated.  Two:  If a participant engages in flying or is unable to be seen, such as by becoming invisible or burrowing, they are eliminated. Three:  The cost of entry is 1,000 gold and 1 diamond or 1,300 gold per person and teams of three compete.  The prize is one million gold pieces.  While the line moves at a snail's pace Tanager almost makes friends with a Sunblade and helps Aaron and Simmond have a wonderful date at great personal expense.

Finally they arrive for registration, Tanager foots the bill for the team’s entry and earns the ire of his new frenemy Barthalomew by paying for his team.  Each team member demonstrates their qualifications and easily proceeds through the screening process.  However, after using his charms on the test proctor Tanager runs into Myrrh and the lovers have an initially uncomfortable but ultimately fruitful discussion about their relationship while Percy and Barsook pass the time leading up to their match.  150, 151, and 152 are called and the bout begins…

Across the arena is none other than Barthalomew, missing his two Sunblade companions he was paired with a Moody Bookseller edgelord and a Cindercloak.  Percy summoned wolves, fey, and more to keep the Paladin and Librarian occupied while Tanager traded quips with his fated foe.  Barsook charged across the ring to assist Percy’s menagerie and was enjoying the scrap until the Librarian transformed into a nauseous gas and planted a command in his brain, to kill Tanager.  Recognizing the spell now influencing his companion Percy destroyed the mental capacity of the bookseller and Barsook came to his senses.  Percy proceeded to command his pack of wolves to tear Barthalomew limb from limb and eat their fill while Barsook shoved the steadfast Cindercoat out of the ring and made them reconsider the choices they had made that day.

After the first round the adventurers took some time to rest before the next bout.  Tanager made a bet of one million gold pieces on the Firebreathing Kittens taking the win at ten-to-one odds.  Barsook bumped into his wife and step daughter at a food vendor and had a delicious meal with wonderful company.  All the while Percy stumbled onto a sinister plot.  Transforming into a bat, the druid finds a man with various animal skins, exotic meats, and talking of someone with a beautiful orange pelt that they must add to their collection.  Percy concludes that this man must intend to kidnap Myrrh for nefarious reasons and rushes back to warn his partners of the suspected crime.  Tanager is readying himself to go full murder revelry while Barsook and Percy try to help him keep a level head.

Before a plan can be settled on the Firebreathing Kittens are called back to the arena for the final bout against the champion, none other than the man Percy observed.  Mysteriously the man has four large cubes obscured by beautiful sheets.  As soon as the match begins Percy casts a monstrous wall of fire, the creatures within the veiled cages let out horrible shrieks echoed by the animal handler.  Barsook and Tanager are dumb founded.  They didn’t expect such a display from their friend.  As the screams die down and the referee calls the fight and the spell was dismissed.  A trio of charred animal corpses were laying in the now unveiled cages along with a suspiciously familiar burned feline corpse.  The Firebreathing Kittens were declared the winners of the fighting tournament to the crowd’s rapid applause as the emergency response clerics arrived in the ring to return the previous champion and Myrrh.  As Tanager chastises the city’s love for blood sports we see Myrrh open her eyes, her body covered in horrible burns but alive.

Memorable Quotes: