The FWOB Bible (Bible Without Benefits)

*"Yo I'm writing a fucking FWOB bible in comments that's basically a wiki you ungrateful piss-drenched urinal cakes﻿"* - WibbL

*"then you should put it on a wikia page. I would love to see it. I want to read it but not hunt in the comments for them.﻿"* - Jolly Reaper

Created by WibbL and briefly scripted by Bret Ginn, The Bible Without Benefits was a canon telling of the present and past events of the Friends Without Benefits with completely true information that briefly told a story relevant to the videos the verses were posted on - without context, it doesn't appear to make much sense.

It was created as a concept after a FWOB crusade, in which WibbL, Bret Ginn and some random commenter I can't remember argued over who the true saviour of FWOB was, with each commenter harking back to medieval words in the way they spoke while representing their saviour. WibbL represented 'Lord King Major Duncan' because that was the only correct person to represent.

Rather than posting it on a centralised medium, WibbL, the editor for this article, was a massive motherfucking nonce and just posted them as comments, meaning he had to go through all the relevant videos to find each scripture. For the sake of ease, all scriptures will be posted here rather than having any reader to also look through all the goddamn comments. The first entry is notoriously worse than the rest and all disciples of FWOB have accepted this first entry was written by Weegee the AntiGod in an attempt to frame the prophet, WibbL.

**Bible Without Benefits - the true lore of FWOB**

*WibbL, verses 1-1*

Alpharad and Deezus are no more, they have replaced themselves with clones seen in episodes such as 'Jackbox Party Pack' and were last seen with Lord King Major Duncan during Mario Party episodes 4 through 7. These imposters impeached Lord King Major Duncan so he wouldn't have presidential benefits in order to make this channel Communist, sharing all benefits so that, in effect, no-one has any. That's fucked up fellow fellas.

Where is Lord King Major Duncan then?

He's in 'Alpharad's' gulag camp, the mad sonofabitch. We all know that he's the true self-declared dictator due to the fact that he has more followers on Twitter. I see through this charade thanks to the Calpol I OD on daily, letting me see through deprecate plains of reality, but none of them involve Lord King Major Duncan.

I know why though, thanks to my diet consisting of only Froot Roll Ups: Lord King Major Duncan is in the afterlife. That's right, not only was he impeached but he was also murdered! By whom you ask? None other than Deezus, who misspelled his name Jeezus once and believed he could bestow judgement upon fellow mortals.

Shall Lord King and Saviour Major Duncan resurrect and insurge true justice to show the true religion of 'D-deism' or will he remain in the clutches of Weegee the AntiGod, held in Alpharad's gulag or will a new Deity reveal themselves to bless all that is good, pure and drunk? Tune in next time for the next instalment of the

**BIBLE WITHOUT BENEFITS**﻿"

**Bible Without Benefits - the true lore of FWOB**

*Bret Ginn, verses ?-? (canonized in verse 1-3)*

Cade starts a company in an attempt to buy out everyone's divinity, but is quickly shut down. So he goes back in time and tries again, but now he mixes in negative stuff like Fascism in his company "we're not going und."

Through these methods, he strives to reach a sort of Reverse Nirvana and be able to shoot mind bullets at giraffes and kangaroos, as well as the very concept of their existence. However, events transpire which cause the abrupt end to his company. Weegee believes Major is behind it, as he didn't give in and accept Cade's ways, so he enlists Alpha and Deezus in a sort of experiment by creating new life. Weegee plans to make a master race with these alien lifeforms and wreak havoc upon Major.

However, Dillon has own plans. He recognizes Cade's attempts at power, and finds out about the Titans, which contain immense power. Deezus plans to subvert Weegee by killing the Titans and taking the power for himself, which would lead to him gaining more power over others. So he gets Don to help him with his schemes.

At first, it seems Dad is simply helping Deezus, but at the end betrays him and tells him that "I am God," and punishes Dillon for his arrogance. For the truth of the matter is that no one individual shall run amok with such power. After absorbing and utilizing the power of the Titan Soul, Dad lets it return to the world. As Don said "This is my life now. I'm God, bitch."

**Bible Without Benefits - the true lore of FWOB**

*WibbL, verses 1-2*

Following a long period without Lord King Major Duncan, named 'The D will come again' by his disciples, the Lord is resurrected by the true Alpharad in order to combat the false clones of Alpharad and Deezus, who are in the midst of creating an army of randomised monsters. To train and to fully restore Lord King Major Duncan, True Alpharad brings him to his own hidden island to rejuvenate D's powers.

Alpha's true intentions are hidden in shrouds thicker than tar. The past Lord, Don, was famously taken under Alpha's wing to help him destroy robot overlords during 'Kirby Robobot' episodes 1 through to Finale', however, what occurred afterwards, The Waitening, was also as a result of Don and Jacob attempting to suppress and control an army of their own in 'Pokemon Alpha Sapphire'.

Notoriously, Don's life ended simultaneously with Frasier's - they met the same fate as Raining Okra. Historians debate if it was at the hand of Alpha, Alpha's sapphire or if Don was responsible for the disappearance after all.

Once Don and Alpha returned, Weegee the AntiGod, Deezus the unholy and Lord King Major Duncan returned with them. All appeared in the same room once before never all being present at the same time again: Major was seen only three times afterwards.

Major has since returned reincarnate as himself, but is he under control after the scars and wounds he received after his crucifixion? His disciples now argue amongst themselves - is he the Truth? Is he Major? Is he D?

Find out in the next instalment of

**BIBLE WITHOUT BENEFITS**

**Bible Without Benefits - the true lore of FWOB**

*WibbL, verse 1-3*

Following the return of Lord King Major Duncan, fear ran rampant, retaliating robustly against sinners and non-believers. D's powers are improving at the hand of Alpharad, but is he being manipulated?

Meanwhile, D's resurrection stirred the fake Alpha & Deezus the Unholy. Rumbled and scared, they opted to create their army of randomised monstrosities with speed, not safety. Like a loose cannon, their decision backfired and many members of their army left them, leaving fake Alpharad and Deezus scrambling for their armaments and power.

Fake Deezus then proceeded to part from Alphafraud (just roll with it broham) to continue raising his army privately and to remove Alphafraud's grip on the army. His intentions are unclear as to what he'll use the army for - Deezus the Unholy has yet to show his face since Dad, The Father assumed deification and became a pure God after consuming all Titan Souls.

Weegee the AntiGod created his own army, of hellspawn demon ants and attempted to lead them to attack Alphafraud and Fake Deezus - he lead them into his office instead, where he ate his Wendy's. Wendy's is believed to be Weegee's solace from hell and the only place he can be present when not in The Garden Of EEESAM (the FWOB office).

Will Weegee the AntiGod's efforts with his hell ants succeed? What will come of Lord King Major Duncan? Where is Deezus the Unholy? Will Fake Deezus remove Alphafraud from his power? What are Alpharad's true intentions? And where has Dad, the Father gone?

Find out in the next edition of

**THE BIBLE WITHOUT BENEFITS**﻿

**Bible Without Benefits - the true lore of FWOB**

*WibbL: Verses 1-who cares*

The year is 20MD and one series mains Lord King Major Duncan, who has returned from the depths of hell; he was banished to such a horrific place by Weegee the AntiGod.

Lord King Mini Dick was released by the newly revolted ant farm of which previously belonged to Weegee - they are now communist and have backwards policies towards women.

Lord King Minch Dunce, in an effort to gain funds so he can buy planet earth, fights the Father, Dad in a gambling battle. Little does he know that Fake Deezus and Alphafraud have finished creating their randomised monster army and have been declared champions of Kanto.

Meanwhile, true Alpha and Turvis, the new prophet, are playing strategic board games to discover who shall or shan't summon the Weegee-risen Waluigi.

Will Lord King Major Duncan defeat Father to buy the earth? Where is Weegee the AntiGod? Will Alphafraud and Deezus attack Father? Can the new prophet, Turvis, summon and control Waluigi? And what will happen to the communist ant farm now?

Find out

NEXT TIME ON

**THE BIBLE WITHOUT BENEFITS**

﻿there was never another entry because fuck it

also I thought there were more than 4 :thinking: if you can fin them (around August 2017) feel free to stick 'em on. Or don't. FUcking whatever bro