Lost THX “Tex” Trailer: The Banned TheNeedleDrop Trailer

WARNING!!!

This story gets a little spooky…

One day, me and my family decided to go to Cracker Barrel for no reason. I was looking through the gift shop as usual when I discovered a DVD copy of a trailer for TheNeedleDrop. It caught me off guard with the bright yellow DVD case that included Anothny Fantano’s face and Tex right next to him . I saw the DVD was mastered by THX and I was surprised. I had to buy it and see the contents of the DVD.

After we left the Cracker Barrel , I was looking at the DVD throughout the whole car ride home. Once I got home and my family sat on the couch to watch the 2001 classic “The Fast and the Furious”, I took a can of Faygo Ginger Ale, a whole box of Gushers, and some Sherk the Third casserole from the kitchen and entered my room. I took the DVD disc out of the box, inserted it into my Spongebob Squarepants Model SB329 DVD Player, and started the disc. The first thing that appeared was “WARNING! This DVD was made to promote the new expansion of TheNeedleDrop brand. This DVD was also made to promote the release of the new Ed Sheeran album, despite not being THX-certified. Some of the content in this trailer may be not suited for a younger audience. Viewer discretion is advised". After the warning disappeared, the DVD menu appeared. It looked similar to the DVD menu for “The Fast and the Furious”. Many different clips of TheNeedleDrop reviews were playing behind a bar that had four options, “Play”, “Bonus Content”, “Languages”, and “Visit TheNeedleDrop Channel”.

I clicked the play button and said to myself, “I hope whatever I see here is enjoyable at least”.

Everything started off normal with Fantano introducing himself with his usual intro. He started talking about the new Death Grips album that was just released. He was going through the review and praising their new release album, before he randomly went on a rant about the new Drake album, which sounded a lot like the same album that Smelly Jahs encountered. He decided to do a Cal Chuchesta bit during his massive rant.

Cal Chuchesta said “but Drake worked so hard to make such a masterpiece of a record” in response to what Fantano said about it.

Fantano replied back “Your opinions are invalid Ca-” before being interrupted with Tex breaking into the room.

Tex said “Sexy Texy does not agree with Cal’s opinions” and grabbed his cow can. He tilted the can over, and a portal to hell opened up behind Cal Chuchesta. The screams of Cal were heard as he was sucked into the portal. His flesh was visibly melting off, and he had hyperrealistic blood coming out of him (like in the creepypastas). I was so scared when I saw that happen on the screen.

Tex pulled out his iconic chainsaw, and pointed it at Fantano himself. Tex said “T-Man does not agree with your opinions of this Death Grips album. I have decided that I must end your career and kill you”. Tex started his chainsaw and walked towards Fantano. Fantano got out of his chair and ran off from the camera before Tex started to chase after him. The camera changed to a view of the two running through the THX hideout.

Fantano was audibly screaming out loud while Tex was chasing after him. Fantano was slowing down over time and Tex was catching up. Tex decided to pull out a Glock 19 and shoot Fantano in the leg. I was screaming at the sight of what was happening.

Tex said “It’s time for Sexy Texy to finish you off!” before shoving his chainsaw into Fantano’s brain and turning it on. Fantano’s head was brutally cut into many different pieces (also like in the creepypastas) before the camera started to fade out. I was in fear. NOT MELON MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

The THX logo faded into the screen after a few seconds of nothing, but the screams of Anothny Fantano could be heard instead of the Deep Note. The THX slogan “The Audience is Listening” appeared on the screen with the corners being covered in blood. The screen faded out and after a few seconds, I went to the Spongebob Squarepants Model SB329 DVD Player to take the disc out. When I got really close to the TV, an image of Fantano with blood spilling out his eyes (like in the creepypastas again) and a violent scream appeared. I decided to throw my Shrek The Third casserole at the Spongebob Squarepants Model SB329 DVD Player and break it completely.

I retrieved the disc and went to my mom to talk about what just happened. She told me to shut up and said that I was making whatever up. I cried and went back into my room to prove her wrong. I burned the disc in a fire, and then put it into the computer and put the video file on the DVD onto Youtube. I exploded the DVD afterwards and went to bed.

I had a horrible nightmare about Tex doing the same thing that he did to Fantano and Cal Chuchesta to me. I kept waking up in a cold sweat that night and couldn’t sleep well.

I woke up and saw that the Youtube video has 1 morbillion views. I was so shocked at the sight of the view count on Youtube. I went on with my day and went to school, but when I came back home after school, the video was taken down by Anothny Fantano himself. I decided to write an email to THX themselves to see what the flop was going on here. After an hour or so, I got an email back from THX.

The email said “Dear Jimmy. We are sorry for what you viewed in the DVD. We felt bad for giving Fantano drones nightmares and tried to ban the trailer from the public view. We didn’t want people to know the truth of what happened to Fantano.”

I shat my pants at the sight of the email, and burned down my house completely while I was still in it.