Ronald McDonald

**Ronald Vincent McDonald** was a mayor, late businessman and professional clown. He owned the McDonald's food chain. Ronald McDonald was put in a American concentration camp. Ronald's most notable feat is building the settlement of McDonaldland, and being the first mayor.

## Childhood and early years

On May 1, 1963, Ronald McDonald was born to two wealthy entrepreneurs. Ronald was born and bred to be a wealthy businessman, but he did not take much interest in being a businessman. Instead, young Ronald (referred to as Ronnie by his friends) was interested in being a professional clown. This filled Ronald's parents with rage, and they beat him every night for it. Finally, Ronald caved in, and went to business school after he graduated from high school. Ronald graduated from business school in 1931. He started a fast food chain called Ronald's in 1935, but later renamed it to McDonald's in 1940. He also was a professional clown on the side, which gave him extra money to keep his business afloat while it was young and growing.

## Later life and eventual death

Using his money he earned from McDonald's success and his clowning, he built the city of McDonaldland in 1941. It was originally only supposed to house McDonald's workers, but eventually it became a mythical and magical realm of happiness and joy. Citizens flocked to McDonaldland for political asylum from Nazi Germany, but this freedom was short-lived. In 1944, Germany sieged McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald was captured and sent to a death camp. For the last year of his life, Ronald McDonald was starved and forced to do harsh slave work in the concentration camp. He eventually died of typhus in the April of 1945. Today, his legacy lives on, as a statue of McDonald was erected in the rebuilt town of McDonaldland.

**The Flat Donalder Theory**

While most scientists dismiss this theory as being to plain, many Donald theorists belive that ronald was infact a child whose parents were so fed up with, that they droped a comedicaly large anvil onto him with the intent of killing the poor infant, but he somehow survived. This led to somewhat of a Flat Stanley situation, in which his organs and bones were completely flatened. After a quite urgent rush to the hospital, he was managed to be steralized and was now a 2D boy. This led his face to be covered in white bandages, with his bloody red nose leaking through the bandage into a circle.

He was ¨accedentily¨ hit by many more anvils by his parents, untill they finally gave up and shiped him to Illinios where CPS could no longer track him. His childhood trauma had made him so enraged that he resorted into sliping under peoples doors and commiting mass killings. It was a perfect plan-exept for no way to dispose of the bodies.

His plan was simple, he would start a burger chain where the burger pattys were made of human flesh. Now, bacterial scans of the Mcdonalds pattys today contain no human flesh, which is one of the main reasons people do not belive in the flat Donalder theory. Those who do, believe that posibly due to lack of supply or just because human flesh tastes pretty bad, somewhere along the way he changed the recipe to no longer include the human meat.

Now its important to remember that for now this is just a theory, A GAME THEORY.