Headhunters 5: The Ferocious Fifteen

## Introduction

Glorio has spoken. The all-powerful Fantasy God of the Headhunters dimension, whose corporeal form is that of an owl, does not appreciate the sacrilegious nature of Bobecue's team name. It is an affront to birds and bird effigies everywhere. As such, we continue a tradition like no other. Finishing off the summer with one last Bobecue.

## In Memorium: Bobecue Chicken

After two talented teams left us early to start the year, another squad loaded with starpower is chopped due to an insurmountable pile of injuries.

Bobecue was the second team eliminated last season. That gave him the unique choice of any draft slot from 2-18 for Season 5. They opted for 12th, which was close to their Season 4 slot (14th). They used that slot last year to take Dalvin Cook. At that point, seven QBs were off the board. On the way back around, they took Ja'Marr Chase. It wasn't until round three that they took Danny Dimes.

Flash forward to this season. Six QBs off the board, and they take Cooper Kupp, who had been plagued by injury during the preseason. Nobody has a crystal ball, so I'm not going to say that it was a completely awful choice. But given the nature of the league, choosing someone battling an injury was a risky pick, and when Kupp doubled-down before week one it already put Bob in a huge hole.

But he wasn't done digging. Instead of taking one of the many talented QBs in the second round, Bob followed a similar draft plan to 2022 and took Saquon Barkley. In theory, that loaded him up with two first round picks and top-10 studs at both RB and WR. That is, until week 2 when Barkley sprained his ankle.

Ah, but finally! In the third round, Bob landed a bonafide stud at QB. Anthony Richardson! A naturally talented rockstart runner/passer who has a shot at leading the Colts to a surprise division title....

One has no choice but to assume Glorio simply does not like Bob due to his chicken-cooking team name. If I had to guess, the Fantasy Gods are big steak eaters. Ground beef, maybe? Each of his first three draft selections ruled out by week three? At least his fourth round pick, Breece Hall, stayed healthy. Except his QB lasted four plays. There is something cosmic at play.

Bob really did try his best though. He burned over 50% of his FAAB in the first round of bidding, bringing in James Cook and Mark Andrews while also bidding over $220 to try and add Jahmyr Gibbs. But the injuries were too much to overcome. Bob barely squeaked over 100 this week thanks to the TE bonus and is once again an early exit in Headhunters. We have to only hope that next season he learns from his mistakes and selects a draft slot either earlier or later, but not directly in the middle.

Bobecue Chicken:

## Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)

Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)
 Out of Luck
 Bobecue Chicken

Bob survived a week longer than last season, but because there were two extra teams he actually finished lower in the final standings. No offense, Bob.

## Dead Money

Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.

Dead Money 2023

Bob is the first team to get eliminated this season having spent a majority of his FAAB.

## Top New Releases

Unique situation this week with so many talented players on this squad, but very few healthy players.

1. Cooper Kupp
2. Saquon Barkley
3. Anthony Richardson
4. Mark Andrews
5. James Cook

## Week Three Bidding Results

### Quick-Hit Thoughts

* Last Year's Most Expensive Player: Ja'Marr Chase ($321 - Bad Boys II)
* Biggest Overpay: Tyreek Hill ($147 over next highest bid-Jethro's Glorious Team)...But who can put a price on happiness?
* Narrowest Margin of Bid Victory: Damien Pierce ($2 over next highest bid-Müller Lite)
* Fifteen Teams bid on Tyreek Hill, with Al Snows' $9 being the lowest submitted bid. The lone wolf to not bid on Tyreek was Obi-Wan Mahomie.
* This is the second time that Jethro has spent over 65% of his budget on Tyreek Hill, after dropping a cool $700 a few years ago.
* Bad Boys II almost had a really big week. He finished runner-up in four bids, including Tyreek and Pittman.
* Raymond put up a nothing-burger for Bob. I guess there was a reason he was the only team to bid.
* Henry VIII dropped Kendre Miller to spend $33 on Gainwell, only for Müller Lite to turn around and spend $35 on Kendre Miller off waivers. It remains to be seen if either player is worth anything.

## Excessive Spend

Excessive spend is anything over a single dollar more than the next highest bid for the player you won, and does not take into account the talent level or value of the player.

## Money Spent Per Week

Money Spent Per Week
 3

We tied the record for most players paid for in week three, but did not come close to breaking the spending bonanza in 2019.

## Defensive Spend

After yet another massive spend on a defense this week, it got me to thinking. Over the last four seasons and three weeks, how often has a defense gone for over $10? And of those times, how often was the next-highest bid even remotely close? The answer probably won't surprise you.

Turns out Nate is absolutely addicted to overspending on defense. Of the five instances where a defense went for over $13, three of them were Tee Diggs, one of them was Headless Horsemen in his first ever week of bidding, and one was Out of Luck in his first ever bid back in 2019.

In each instance, no secondary bid was placed for over $12. In fact, never in history has a secondary bid been placed on a defense for over $12, and on only two occassions (in five years) has a secondary bid been placed over $5.

## Week Three Results

The high scoring continued this week, with an insane nine teams over 200 points.

* Biggest Climber: Müller Lite (^13)
* Biggest Faller: What Hurts Moore/Bad Boys II (v8)

## Draft Dodgers

Last week I asked "Should Bobecue and Horsemen be worried?" Well, one finished in first and the other finished in last, so I guess the answer is proabbly but maybe not? Anyway, if this trend continues than Monty's Python is on notice.

## Kings of the Castle

### 1. Headless Horsemen

This is the first time that Headless has finished in a top-5/bottom-5 position, so it's the first time I really get to profile the newest team to the Headhunters family. Don't let the De'Von Achane performance fool you. Horsemen played so well that he could have benched Achane and still finished 10th for the week. He has gotten just one performance over projection in nine tries combined from Dak, Burrow and Lawrence, his TE situation is sketchy, and he loses Mike Williams for the year, but the Moss/Achane combo may be Headhunters pay dirt.

### 2. Müller Lite

Nobody gets more insulted and, in turn, plays with more fire, than Müller Lite after a bottom five writeup. Lite turned to the red rocket, who blasted off to the tune of 45.27 points in the superflex, feeding Adam Thielen in the most unlikely stack on the fantasy bingo card. It was a good week, and I'm going to stop there because if I say anything negative he'll just score more points this week.

### 3. Al Snows Fav Squad

Back from Europe and it feels so right. Al Snow has once again drafted a stellar team and refuses to spend money on anybody early, leaving him tied with the top score in HH and tied for the most remaining FAAB. This week, Al snow got 30+ from three of this starting WRs, including 50 from Davante Adams. And that's good, because he essentially doesn't have a serviceable RB on his roster. Al Snow has already passed his points total from each of the last two seasons.

### 4. Extra Tight Ends

Extra Tight Ends actually had extra tight ends this week! He started both Kelce and Otton, who combined for 8 bonus points. But that's like saying when Tom Brady and Trent Dilfer are in a room they have a combined 8 Lombardi trophies. ETE has a very boom or bust roster, with Davis and London proving to be a volatile pairing of WRs in a thin position room.

### 5. Jeff Probst' Tribe

The other new addition to the league gets their first top-5 finish after a grim 157-point projected outlook for week three. JP got over 50% of this score from two players, Allen and Tua. Had he only started those two, and benched everybody else, he still would have been safe from elimination this week. JP is also asking the philosophical question, if you have two QBs for the superflex spot, but neither can throw the ball, do you have any QBs at all? Looking at you, Dimes and Riddler.

## On the Chopping Block

### 15. Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack

We knew we were in for it after Bad Boys failed to win a single bid, including a waiver tiebreaking finish for Jimmy G. And what a wild ride it was. Ronnie Rivers takes over for the great Jake Funk in the superflex spot this week, with Sam Howell holding it down up top with his 3.65 fantasy points. Including defense, only four starters broke 10 points and only two broke 20. At least Sam LaPorta looks like the real deal, creating a huge TE boost.

### 14. Never Done This Before

Still scary hours for Scott. The good news is this was his best finish yet. The bad news is 14th is still not a good finish. Gibbs has flashed talent, but he hasn't had a explosive game yet worthy of his price tag ($501). But help could be on the way, if Cam Akers can get himself into a Minnesota system that spins the dials on offense.

### 13. Tee Diggs my RIP for sure-oh

Defense wins championships, or at least in this case defense is the difference between 13th and 15th. For those wondering how Tee Diggs would handle the loss of Nick Chubb, the answer is more defense. MORE! Next, he'll need to fill the void left behind by Derek Carr. Maybe it's Salvon Ahmed time!?

### 12. Obi-Wan Mahomie

Obi-Wan loves operating in the fringes. Here he is at 12th. Next week he'll be floating somewhere around 8th or 7th. Then back down to 10th. He just lurks, hoping nobody will notice him. I notice you. A bit of a dip this week without Waddle, but homie should be back soon. Mahomie doesn't have any starter whose bye is before week 10 (unless you count Tajae Spears as a "starter").

### 11. What Hurts Moore?

164 would have been good enough for 8th place in week 1, but not in week 3. After Darren Waller came up small on TNF, it was up to a legion of MNF studs to carry them to week four. Hurts, Puka, and DeVonta did just that. Moore is blessed with a productive bench, with three bench players scoring over 11 points.

## Average Scores of Eliminated Teams

Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
 Bobecue Chicken
 Hasta Laviska Baby

## Narrow Defeats

Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:

Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
 Out of Luck
 Bobecue Chicken

## Rulers of the Kingdom

2023 first place finishers:

Top Scorers by Week
 2
 3

The biggest finish of the year.

## Dungeon Dwellers

2023 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:

Low Scorers by Week
 2
 3

## Single Season Scoring Records

As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. Bolded lines indicate performances from the current season.

Bob finishes just between his 2020 and his 2022 seasons on the chart. He's basically done this same thing three times now.

## All-Time Combined Points Scored

Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2023 season added to the total. Bolded lines indicate that the record has been updated through 2023.