Zander Toboggans

Toboggans at his wedding on August 14, 2016.

**Zandereaux Jaxxon Toboggans** (February 28, 1995 - March 11, 2017), known as **Zander Toboggans**, was an American musicians and producer. Toboggans is best known for his work with his childhood friend Kareem E. Britches. Toboggans broke into the music industry writing songs with Kareem E. Britches. Eventually, Toboggans and Britches teamed up to form the supergroup Chinese Sweatshop. While Chinese Sweatshop's entire existence was plagued by lineup changes, Toboggans was one of the few members to remain with the group throughout (albeit, in a producer-only role towards the end).

Toboggans remained by Britches' side up until Toboggans untimely death by exsanguination as a result of a botched blood transfusion. Today, Toboggans is best remembered for being "a guy with a really big head."

## Early Life

Toboggans was born in a hotel bathroom in Lexington, Kentucky on February 28, 1995. Toboggans' parents had hoped he'd be born on the 29th (so that they would only have to buy him birthday presents once every four years). The fact that 1995 was not a leap year makes this plan all the more confusing. Disappointed with this development, Toboggans' parents sent him to live with his Uncle and Aunt in North Chicago, Illinois.

In October of 2002, Toboggans met Kareem E. Britches and the two quickly bonded over their shared love of shrimp. One day in 2004, the two wrote Mad Libs together for nearly twenty hours straight. Realizing that they both brought out creativity in each other, they eventually tried their hands at songwriting. The two would abandon their songwriting efforts for over a decade after a neighbor found their songbook and called it "pretty bad". This traumatic event would send Toboggans into a catatonic state for nearly eleven months.

The rest of Toboggans' childhood was largely unremarkable due in large part to his lack of talents. By the time he turned eighteen, Toboggans had turned his sights on beekeeping, even earning a scholarship to the National Beekeeping Institute in Kenosha, Wisconsin. However, Toboggans was expelled during his first semester for "inappropriate conduct with a bee". Down on his luck, he turned to his dear friend Britches for support. Toboggans would spend most of the next three years living in Britches' basement playing video games.

In June, 2016, Toboggans was present for the fart that led to Britches' interest in music. Toboggans encouraged Britches to follow his dreams and try and make it into the music industry. Britches in turn encouraged Toboggans to join him and resume their songwriting efforts. Toboggans was eventually convinced by the prospect of women being attracted to musicians and agreed.

## Career

Unable to play an instrument, Toboggans was involved in a purely songwriting role through Britches' early career. During Britches' time with The Rockets, Toboggans contributed to their first single "Booty Blaster", which was eventually pulled by the label.

## Personal Life

### Family

Toboggans married his wife and childhood sweetheart Lorenzo Toboggans (née Paul) on August 14, 2016. The two were wed in the parking lot of an abandoned Jewel-Osco in Waukegan, Illinois. The two then honeymooned at a luxury resort in North Chicago, Illinois. The two had one child together, Larry The Lobster Toboggans, who was born June 6, 2016.

Toboggans was an avid fan of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson; so much so that he would affectionately refer to Lorenzo as "The Rock". Toboggans would also encourage Lorenzo to shave her head to closer resemble The Rock. He was also known to refer to his genitalia as "Dewayne 'The Cock' Johnson" in public. This habit would occasionally lead to trouble, included being suspended and banned from the local junior high school.

### Health Concerns

In the last years of his life, Toboggans suffered from numerous traumatic injuries.