Wafez

> I cunt believefed thee prodectiuon of an ilegull drog wood be so lezthel!
>
> -Wafez as he burns in a drug lab fire.

**Wafez** is Venom JoowBear's favorite son but that isn't saying much. He is a Veteran HGer with close ties to Big Tapir. Known for his bad English and obsession with DuckTales.

## History

Wafez was born in 1915 during World War 1, the moment his father, Venom, saw his face was the moment he knew that the darkest time of his life has just began. Wafez use to speak and write perfect English until he sustained an injury during a failed attempt at sneaking into Disneyland. Somehow this made his words absolutely incoherent, despite the fact the injury was just a sprained ankle. This was further proven when he entered High-School where he struggled at English class. To this day, Wafez can't talk like a normal person. This hasn't stopped him from being an MLG Hearts of Iron player.

Today, he resides in the glorious land of Commieraq as Commiekiller's right hand man. He lives in a small house with his good friend and roommate the Duck Wizard. Wafez dreams of moving into Galaxy's Edge or to Iraq but stays in Commieraq. It has never dawned on him that because he is a duck he can just fly to these places.

### The great Disneyland heist

A day after the official opening of Disneyland Wafez begs his father to take him. Venom refused to take him so he rans away. Upon leaving home he trekked his way to Disneyland. Wafez not understanding capitalism found himself unable to enter Disneyland without paying. Frustrated, he stormed off with no direction.

While eating from a garbage Wafez overheard someone talking of a person named Commiekiller, Commie was rumored to be a resourceful individual with many ties around the world. Wafez searched far and wide for Commie and conveniently bumped into him at a Hatsune Miku themed Dominos. Wafez struck a deal with Commie, he was to provide Wafez with the means to break into Disneyland in exchange Wafez joined the Federation of CommieRaq. They both shook on it and got to work.

Commie used his connections to hire the greatest mercenary since Big Boss, this mercenary was simply known as Detale. Detale was hired to fly Wafez over Disneyland so Wafez can parachute into Disneyland. After reaching their destination Wafez who is afraid of heights and parachutes was hesitant to jump. After much convincing Detale would give Wafez the courage to conquer his fears by throwing him out of the plane but forgot to supply him with a parachute, it is unknown if this was an accident or intentional.

Upon violently crashing into the ground Wafez collected himself and tried to slowly get up. Wafez fell back to his feet in pain, he sprained his ankle upon hitting the ground. Wafez then famously stated "Dam stoopid errplain!!!!!!11" Wafez recoiled in horror at his shitty grammar. He began to panic. Wafez unable to handle the tragedy befallen him, faints.

After being kicked several times Wafez awakened, greeted by a blurry vision of an older man. Wafez slowly and slightly slurred babbled something along the lines of: "Arr u Veeenum Jowbar?" The older man condescendingly laughed at Wafez's question and spoke in an overly confident manner: "That prick? I'd rather dump in a vat of acid than be him." The old man slaps Wafez several times to help him gain back his vision. Wafez's vision clears and he finally sees the stranger for who he is, the man is none other than Walt Disney. Disney offered a job at Disney as a character reference and promised him a massive fortune, all he needed to do was sign a contract and drop his last name. Little did Wafez know that this would become his biggest success yet.

### The DuckTales Saga

Due to Wafez's obsession with Ducktales, he once turned the entire Cantina into characters of Ducktales. It all ended when the CEO of Disney decided to cancel the show which made Wafez quickly run into the Headquarters and cry about the cancellations. The CEO told him to just cope with it, thus ending his relations with the Disney company. Wafez believes he deserves royalties from Disney. This is because Walt Disney used his likeness as inspiration for several duck based characters. Unfortunately trying to sue Disney never works out for anyone, so Wafez has never actually tried to take legal action because of this.

## Persona

Wafez has the IQ of ???. Oddly enough, although he does not make any sense when speaking English he can speak fluent Luxemburgish. This is because he's actually a Hydra sleeper agent. Wafez has rather thick skin and is sometimes at the center of playful teasing. Of course this is purely humorous back and forth, he is a respected and valued member of HG. Although, Wafez refuses to learn English which is why barelt anyone understands him. This phenomena annoys Wafez to the point of disillusionment which is a common trait of Wafez but keeps denying it to make everything sound good (Including Disney.)

Due to his bad english, he also doesn't know how to word sentences correctly which causes a lot of beef with a lot of members and not to mention, a lot of problems that can be very fatal. But Wafez would rather just sit playing his favorite game, Hearts of Iron 4 than fixing any conflicts. Wafez is also a devoted gamer, spending much of Venom's rent on games he will only play once or twice.

## Trivia

* Wafez claims he has a girlfriend but she's imaginary. This isn't another attempt to make his father proud, his girlfriend is just a demonic shadow duck known as Lena Sabrewing so her being imaginary is more of a technicality.
* Due to having JoowBear ancestry he can speak to bears. He doesn't though, his reasoning is bears only talk about eating salmon.
* He is the real person responsible for the assassination of Howard Stark and Maria Stark. Bucky Barnes is a fraud and needs to take a bath.