Ruadh

Ehecatl (Half-Brother)

## Application Sheet

Ruadh was a dark gray-brown male wolf with sage green eyes. He was born into the pack of Hintertomb alongside his brother Jorann. After losing their parents, the brothers were taken as wards to Ehecatl, their (unknowing) half-brother. Ruadh's story is just beginning. He was created and RP'd by humancanid.

## Personality

Ruadh is almost unnoticeable in most situations with how quiet he is. His paws gently touch the ground as he walks, and he rarely speaks - but when he does, it is a whisper. Ruadh is very introverted and shy - his social skills aren’t the best. Despite his quiet nature and his struggle to socialise, Ruadh desperately wishes for bonds with wolves that will accept his quiet presence.

Ruadh is a very kind and gentle soul. He is, however, also a very sensitive wolf as well. Any anger, insult, or negativity directed towards him will easily result in tears and a very upset pup. He struggles to accept critique and generally cannot take any bad news well whatsoever. He will not lash out in anger despite this, but will instead hide and cry in secrecy.

He is occasionally (and unintentionally) rude and blunt. This is not due to him having an impolite personality - he is a very kind boy - it is simply due to his struggles with communication, due to this he struggles to socialise with other wolves properly. He also cannot read social cues very well.

Ruadh and Jorann had already noticed their parents were distant and unloving.  Ruadh blames himself - was it because he was sickly? Did he do something wrong? Why wasn’t he good enough for them? His feelings are a painful mixture of love, heartbreak, confusion, sadness and anger - especially knowing they treated his brother the same way. Even into adulthood, Ruadh questions his self worth and has very low confidence.

Though he didn’t have a normal family, he wasn’t alone in the world. Ruadh and his brother have a special bond that cannot be broken. Jorann is the only wolf Ruadh can fully trust and be himself around. Until he had a guardian, he felt he had no family but his brother. He is very protective of Jorann for this reason.

The Southpoint Collapse had made Ruadh even more fragile, mentally and physically, than before. He fully blames the Gods for his parents' loss. Though, in some ways it was a blessing to him and his brother - she was a horrible mother after all, the cause for his mental distress - but he still loved her anyway. The Gods still took her away, and that frightens him, angers him. He could never ask her as a grown wolf why he and his brother were not good enough for her, he could never claw the answers out of her so his mind could finally rest from the painful roots she’d planted into his mind. He loathed the Gods now, but no more than how much he feared them - significantly more so after her loss, after the loss of his packmates. He saw, first hand, how frightening - life changing - soul destroying they could be. Ruadh is now obsessed with avoiding them, fearing they will hurt him or his pack once more - whilst also working to please them in hopes they won’t hurt him or his brother ever again.

As he grows, his fear of the Gods worsens into an immense phobia of death. The fear of the afterlife they had all been cursed to - that his mother may have been cursed to - makes him awaken with fear and anxiety every day. He begins to question if they are the reason he is so sickly - were they planning to drag him to his grave early? Ruadh wishes that they would discover the secret to immortality - perhaps if that day came, he would finally rest.

## Pre-Group History

Ruadh’s beginning was a nightmare from his very first breath.

He was born a sickly runt, soon after his big brother Jorann, to Mearna - a wolf not born in Hintertomb, the siblings were created out of what was believed to be love. But Mearna would soon learn that she was painfully mistaken.

Ruadh did not know his fathers name - who he looked like - who he was. All he knew of was the painful arguments he could hear throughout the night whilst hiding with his brother.

Ruadh knew his mother was… cold, distant. She made him feel like a burden, like his birth was a mistake. She didn’t care that he was sickly or whether he survived.

But he loved her anyway. He just didn’t understand. He believed it was his own fault - a thought that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Though she was distant, Ruadh still had other wolves that made life worth it. He had Jorann - his big brother, the one wolf he truly idolised and looked up to. He was always there when Mearna wasn’t. Ruadh struggled in life, but he knew Jorann would always be there for him. And though he had a hard childhood with his parents, he'll always fondly remembers the memories with the wolves that showed him love.

The Southpoint Collapse changed everything. Ruadh still remembers the fear as it happened, realising they were trapped. The pups were soon found and rescued by Ehecatl and brought to safety. It was when he discovered the loss of his packmates - his mother - that would truly change his life and haunt him.

Ruadh began to feel guilt. He didn’t understand why. Why his mother didn’t love him back, why they had taken her away from him, why he was so weak and sickly. It would become the question he’d obsess over for years to come.

Ruadh is broken over the loss of his mother. He is torn by anger and pain knowing she didn’t care if he survived or not, knowing she didn’t love him or Jorann - angry that he’ll never get an answer from her as to why. But he is also heartbroken and grieving - the only mother he’d ever had - she didn’t love him, but Ruadh loved her anyway. He always would. It would always hurt.

The collapse results in Ruadh’s severe paranoia of the Gods - they brought him into the world as a mistake, and then tore their mother away. So many packmates. Ruadh is terrified, and begins to obsess over the gods. He deeply fears that they will take Jorann too.

When Hintertomb decided to relocate, Ruadh didn't leave Jorann’s side - he was the only wolf he trusted now. He follows his every move and decision, and the decision was to follow the pack. It’s not like they had much choice anyway. The siblings' rescuer - Ehecatl - promises the pups protection under his guardianship. Though the pups agreed, Ruadh couldn’t trust them, *not yet*. He fears them - his brother didn't trust him yet, and therefore neither would he. His old parents didn’t truly love him - didn’t even try - so who’s to say this guy won’t do the same? Despite his fears… he is slowly starting to realise Ehecatl may not be so bad after all.

## External Links

* Official Application Sheet
* humancanid's deviantART Gallery