Get the Picture

**Get the Picture** is episode 87b of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on June 29, 2002.

## Synopsis

Principal Walker becomes obsessed with reading the school newspaper, even though only students are allowed to read it.

## Cast

* Andrew Rannells as Edward
* Josh Peck as Eric
* Mike Pollock as Principal Walker
* Eric Stuart as Terry and Barry and Jason
* Edward Felker as Stanley, Luke, Rico, Igor and Abdul
* Gary Sauls as Constantinos, Mr. Goodman, Aaron and Robbie
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Dan Green as Dallas, Henry and Dylan
* Veronica Taylor as Carver
* Kyle Phillips as Wayne

## Trivia

* Although this episode premiered in 2002, it was produced in 2001 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* This episode premiered during the *Burpilicious Belch-a-thon* event.
* Principal Walker coughing out a sponge and a starfish is an obvious reference to the popular Nickelodeon series, *SpongeBob SquarePants*.
* This is the only instance in the series where visible feces are seen.
* The names of the episode's writers don't appear until Principal Walker is finished wiping the dung off his shoe.
* This episode is available to watch on the Crazy Antics DVD and the Season 4 Volume 2 box set.

## Transcript

(It's a snowy school morning. Walker is strolling and humming as he reads a magazine. Suddenly, he steps on something)

**Principal Walker:** What in bear's hind did I just step on? (he looks at his shoe, and he notices a newspaper rack next to him) Oh, look, the Weekly Lakeside Eye, that crummy student newspaper! Perfect! (wipes it against the dung on his shoe) At least I'll put that no-good waste of paper to good use. I'll just dump it in their circulation.

(He laughs as he drops the newspaper onto the ground and walks away)

**Barry:** (from the boys' dorm) Stop the presses! Stop the presses!

(Inside, Barry is printing copies of the school newspaper)

**Terry:** What's wrong, Barry?

**Barry:** There's a major typo, that's for sure.

(A view of the newspaper is shown, and it reads "POP QUIZ! Match the student with their school uniform!")

**Barry:** There should be two exclamation marks after "Pop Quiz", not only one.

**Terry:** You stopped the presses for THAT?

(Pan over to Jason, Grayson, Mason and Hasten)

**Jason:** Would you guys keep it down?!

(Beat)

**Terry:** Let's get these babies out on the street.

(They head to the rack, only to find that it's completely full)

**Terry:** Oh no! It's still full!

**Barry:** Isn't anyone reading our paper?

**Edward:** (offscreen) Oh boy, the Weekly Lakeside Eye!

(Camera pans over to Edward to reveal him reading the newspaper from the copy that Walker put down earlier)

**Edward:** "How to Deal with Dodgeball Anxiety". This is really going to help my game.

**Barry:** Edward? YOU read the Weekly Lakeside Eye?

(Throughout this scene, Constantinos can be seen in the background, building something out of toothpicks. He constantly gets stabbed)

**Edward:** Every issue!

**Barry:** Do you do the trivia challenges?

**Edward:** I just love the trivia challenges!

**Terry:** Then how come you never submit your answers?

**Edward:** Because I figured I would let someone else have a shot at winning.

**Terry:** (tears up) Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. Nobody ever reads it! (sobs heavily)

**Edward:** I'm sorry, Terry and Barry. That sounds unfortunate. But I'm positive I can assist in increasing your circulation.

**Terry:** Really? (sniffles) You'll do that?

**Edward:** Of course! I have eleven minutes to kill.

(Inside of Terry and Barry's dorm room, a fresh copy of the newspaper is laid out on the table)

**Edward:** Now this will really blow your conjoined minds. (grabs a pencil and writes something) Uh-huh...uh-huh... there we go!

(We see that nothing has changed apart from "Weekly" being crossed out from the newspaper's name, and an exclamation mark has been added at the end)

**Barry:** "The Lakeside Eye"? All you did was cross out "Weekly" and add an exclamation mark.

**Edward:** Oh yeah. Do ya dig it, Terry?

**Barry:** I'm Barry.

**Edward:** Now all we need are some interesting stories.

(Later, they are walking to the cafeteria)

**Edward:** Breakfast in the cafeteria is always a perfect opportunity for research. I'll find out what stories people want to read, while you guys try to find something that's really worth telling about!

(At a table, Henry is eating a slice of breakfast pizza. Edward slides right next to him)

**Edward:** Eating breakfast, huh?

**Henry:** (nervously) Uhh... (gulps) sure, what does it look like?

**Edward:** I was seeking to know, how often do you read the Weekly Lakeside Eye?

**Carver:** The Weekly Lakeside Eye?! (chuckles) The only time I'm happy to see that rag is when I need to blow my nose! (bursts into laughter)

(Everybody else laughs)

(Meanwhile, Terry and Barry see something and gasp. Terry writes something down in a notepad, while Barry takes a photo with a camera)

**Terry:** We've finally found the scoop of the day - if not, the WHOLE semester!

(Edward sadly approaches them)

**Edward:** Sorry, Terry and Barry. I was unable to pick up any story ideas.

**Terry:** Don't worry about it, Edward. We just found the scoop of the semester!

**Edward:** The scoop of the semester? (looks at what Terry wrote down in the notepad, and he gasps) IS THIS REALLY TRUE?!

**Terry:** Every word of it!

**Edward:** This is the greatest story! Let's get printing!

(Camera transitions to a stack of copies being delivered to a bunch of rooms in the boys' dorm. Frankfurt is reading a copy of it while drinking coffee, but then he spits it out)

(Many hands take copies from the rack until the rack empties out)

**Carver:** Get outta the way! (steals the empty rack)

(Many students crowd around Terry, Barry and Edward, trying to get a copy)

**Terry:** We're a success!

**Barry:** We're gonna run out!

**Edward:** AND we have a lot of subscriptions for future issues!

(Aaron waddles down a crowded hallway with a copy in his hand, and he passes through Principal Walker's office)

**Aaron:** It's true, everybody! (pants heavily) It says so right here in the Lakeside Eye! I'M JOYOUS AND FREE!

**Principal Walker:** (looking out the window) The children are snooPING AS usual, Goodman. What's all the hubbub?

**Mr. Goodman:** (filing paperwork) It's the Lakeside Eye, sir. You know, the student newspaper run by Terry and Barry.

**Principal Walker:** Ha! You mean that bird cage liner nobody reads?

**Mr. Goodman:** Well, they're all reading it now, sir. Apparently, they have the best story ever, which is the scoop of the year.

**Principal Walker:** (laughs) The best story! Scoop of the year! Don't make me laugh harder, Goodman. (imagines a headline titled "Gaylord Walker: Swell Guy!") Unless it's a tribute dedicated to yours truly.

**Mr. Goodman:** I doubt they write about how great you are if you're not allowed to read it.

**Principal Walker:** Whaddya mean?!

**Mr. Goodman:** Only students are. It's in the code.

**Principal Walker:** (frowns) Not allowed, to read it?

(Suddenly, he imagines a headline reading "Why We Hate Walker")

**Principal Walker:** (his eyes become overly bloodshot in frustration) "WHY WE HATE WALKER"?! (punches the thought bubble away) WHY YOU! GIVE ME THAT!!!!! I want to know what those weasels wrote about me! (marches out) I am going to read that paper, once and for all!

**Mr. Goodman:** Uh, sir, I wouldn't do that.

(It's too late; the door is heard being slammed shut)

(In the hallways, Eric is holding stacks of the newspaper)

**Eric:** (wearing a newsie cap) Get your paper here! Scoop of the semester right here in The Lakeside Eye!

**Principal Walker:** (rushes towards him) Alright, Mr. Newsie, hand it over.

**Eric:** Hand what over?

**Principal Walker:** You know what! The newspaper! Give it to me, come on.

**Eric:** That will be $5.

**Principal Walker:** (narrows his eyelids) I thought it was free.

**Eric:** Not this issue. It's the scoop of the semester.

**Principal Walker:** (under his breath as he digs through his pockets for cash) $5, I'll show you $5, you little-

(Suddenly, he notices Victor walking by, and Walker holds him upside down)

**Principal Walker:** Pardon me, need $5 to borrow! (a $5 bill slips out of Victor's pockets, who screams) There we go! $5! (hands it to Eric) Here you go, ya con artist. Now gimme the paper.

(Eric hesitates)

**Principal Walker:** Come on, I don't have all day!

**Eric:** (prepares to run for it) HELP! WALKER IS TRYING TO READ THE PAPER!!!! (dashes away)

**Principal Walker:** Come back here with my paper! (chases after him) GIVE ME THAT SCOOP OF THE SEMESTER!!!!

(Eric runs to the boys' dorm and slams the door. Walker runs into the door and drops to the ground)

**Principal Walker:** (stars circle his head; weakly) I am going to read that paper, if it's the last thing I do.

(The camera transitions to him knocking on Terry and Barry's door. They open it, and they look annoyed)

**Barry:** Yes?

**Principal Walker:** (holding a bird cage that has a parrot's skeleton) Yes, I was wondering if you had any spare newspaper I could use for my bird cage! The latest issue of The Lakeside Eye, perhaps!

**Terry:** Your bird isn't even alive.

(One of the skeleton's bones snap apart)

**Terry:** Listen, Principal Walker, we're onto you. (Walker gets scared and shivers) You're not allowed to read The Lakeside Eye unless you're a student. (slams the door)

**Principal Walker:** (grunts) These brainless buffoons are smarter than I thought. I need to think of a new plan. (gives the cage to Luke, who was passing by) Here, have a bird. And don't kill it!

(The skeleton collapses into a pile of bones. Luke hysterically cries)

(We see a group of students talking to each other in a circle)

**Terry:** And then he tried this phony bird cage.

**Eric:** Yes, and Walker tried to attack me!

**Stanley:** Well, Walker can't get his hands on The Lakeside Eye.

**Principal Walker:** (offscreen) Howdy, fellers!

(We see Walker kneeling down. He is wearing a bowl-cut wig, as well as the school uniform, and he has shoes attached to his kneecaps so he can look shorter)

**Principal Walker:** How's it going? I am a new student here, and my name is Nathan!

**Joey:** Mr. Goodman didn't say anything about a new student!

**Principal Walker:** Oh, yes! I am from a scout camp called Camp Slither in...uhh...Ohio! And we heard you had a really great newspaper here, (the students exchange looks at each other) so I thought I would ask you for the latest issue! You know, the scoop of the semester!

**Abdul:** Sure, friend! Let me go get-

(Everybody slaps their palms onto Abdul's mouth to stop him from talking any further)

**Eric:** Wait, Ohio is a real state?

**Stanley:** Huddle!

(They gather around in a circle)

**Stanley:** This is clearly trouble. It's obvious that it's a poor disguise from Principal Walker.

**Edward:** What do you think we should do, Stanley?

**Eric:** Wait, I have an important question. Why are his knees in his shoes?

(Cut back to Walker. The students are whispering to each other)

**Principal Walker:** Hey, what's going on over there?!

(The students approach him)

**Stanley:** Listen, uhh..."Nathan", is it? You're a little funny-looking for a Lakeside student.

**Principal Walker:** You oughta watch your mouth. I'm cute, with a capital K. See, (points to his wig) the hair?

**Dallas:** Well, Stanley and I decided we'll just have to give you a few tests to see if you're the real deal.

**Principal Walker:** What sort of tests?

**Dallas:** You know, just the few things every Lakeside City School student should know how to do, like...

(Cut to one of the restrooms)

**Dallas:** ...cleaning the restrooms. (he is seen holding a toothbrush) And of course, every student knows how to do it with a toothbrush!

**Principal Walker:** (grabs it) They do?

**Igor:** (to Abdul) Even *I* get grossed out by that job.

(The camera transitions to the Gym's pool. Edward and Stanley are sitting near it)

**Principal Walker:** Alright, ok, I did everything on your stinkin' list! I made name tags for all the students nobody cares about,

(Wayne and Dylan pass by, wearing name tags)

**Both:** Thanks, Nathan!

**Principal Walker:** I filled the pool with cream soda,

(Rico and Robbie emerge from the water. Robbie lets out a huge burp)

**Rico:** Thank you, Nathan!

**Principal Walker:** (takes out a shovel) and I dug to China in under half an hour! (gives Stanley a box of food) Here's your takeout, Stanley. NOW GIVE ME THE LAKESIDE EYE!!!!

**Stanley:** You forgot the egg roll.

**Principal Walker:** (drops the shovel, and his eye twitches) Oh, I see what you're doing. You don't think I'm a student. You're trying to break me until I confess. (laughs maniacally) WELL, I'M A STUDENT THROUGH AND THROUGH, MISTER!!!!

(Suddenly, Aaron runs in)

**Aaron:** Help! HELP! My inflatable duck went loose in the forest and it's flowing through the current! HELP! SAVE CARL!!!!

**Edward:** Walker- I mean, "Nathan", I think the perfect last test for you would be to swim out to Lakeside Forest and retrieve the duck floatie for, uh...um...

**Aaron:** (takes out a name tag) Aaron.

**Edward:** -for Aaron here.

**Principal Walker:** That's all I have to do? Get some stupid duck floatie or whatever, and then I can read the paper?

**Stanley:** Yup.

**Principal Walker:** I'LL DO IT! Hang on, Carl the Inflatable Duck with a Stupid Name! I'll save ya! (runs out of the building so fast that he produces a sonic boom)

**Edward:** And watch out for the-

(Camera immediately cuts to Walker swimming down Lakeside Forest's stream. He breathes heavily for oxygen, but fortunately, he catches up with Aaron's yellow duck floatie, and he grabs it)

**Principal Walker:** Gotcha! (laughs) I did it! I can read the pape- (falls down the waterfall) ***GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!***

(The camera cuts back to the students, who are still at the Gym's pool)

**Stanley:** Well, it's been 15 minutes since Walker left. You think we should check on him?

**Edward:** May as well.

**Eric:** Yeah, where's Nathan?

(The students head to Lakeside Forest's stream, but Walker is nowhere to be found - at least until Robbie waddles in)

**Robbie:** (carrying Aaron's duck floatie) Guys! Look what washed up on shore! This is all that's left of poor Nathan.

**Wayne:** Well, Terry and Barry, I guess you'll have to fire up an obituary page.

**Dallas:** You guys *do* know "Nathan" was just a poor disguise from Walker, right?

(Beat)

**Wayne:** Oh.

(Suddenly, Walker rises out of the water covered in seaweed as the sound of a low-pitched foghorn plays)

**Eric:** Nathan!

(They carry Walker to shore, and he spits out water)

**Eric:** Nathan, speak to me! Can we get you anything?

**Principal Walker:** (coughs out a sponge and a starfish; weakly) The Weekly Lakeside Eye.

**Eric:** It's actually just called The Lakeside Eye now. (gives him a copy of the newspaper) Here you go, buddy! You earned it!

(Walker gasps in excitement and tightly squeezes the newspaper. He stands up and laughs)

**Eric:** What's wrong, Nathan?

**Principal Walker:** I think you mean what's wrong with (takes off his wig) WALKER!!!! HA! Didn't see that coming, did ya?!

(Eric is shocked, but everybody else gives him a blank stare. Walker bounces around and laughs)

**Principal Walker:** (spins around) I've got The Eye! (adjusts his glasses) Now I can read all of the nasty things you wrote about me, in my own palms! (continues laughing until he realizes something) Wait, this can't be right.

(A closeup of the newspaper's front page is shown. It has a picture of Constantinos building a gigantic tooth statue with toothpicks, which is what he was working on earlier in the episode)

**Principal Walker:** (reading it off) "Local Student Builds Giant Tooth Out of Toothpicks"?! This, is the scoop of the semester?! (angrily) ***THIS WAS THE SCOOP OF THE SEMESTER?!!?***

**Barry:** You should've seen it. It was a beaut!

**Terry:** Do you still have it, Constantinos?

**Constantinos:** (shakes his head) Oh, no, 'cause I had a bunch of corn beef stuck in my teeth, y'know, and it was real stringy, and y'know, it just wanted to dangle there, and-

**Principal Walker:** ***ARE YOU ALL MAD?!!? YOU'RE ALL RAVING LUNATICS!!!!!!!*** (tosses the newspaper to the ground) Gah! (stomps on it) You and your stupid paper! This is what I think of this piece of garbage!

(He begins walking away)

**Principal Walker:** (twitching) Ooh, they're gonna skewer my brain and they're gonna write about it, huh?!

(Beat)

**Principal Walker:** Eh, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. (mumbles)

(Another beat as the students continue staring in complete, utter silence)

**Joey:** Do you think we should tell him whose toothbrush he used to clean the restrooms?

(Upon hearing this, Terry and Barry stare at each other, and then they grin as they take out a camera, notepad and pencil)

(Iris out)

("The End" screen)

(Episode ends)