Hard Choices

~\*{ HARD CHOICES }\*~

~ One Shot RP: the retirement of Mab (Ammit) Bathori.

~ IC: Iron Apprentice Terrogate Soldier Of Venom & Knight Mab Bathori (\*completed prior to her leaving the ESE )

~ Location: Batorine

155 ABY

~\*~

{IC: Iron Apprentice Terrogate, Artifex of Tollere, Venomous, Iron Born}

~\*~

Terrogate wakes, it's early in the morning on the forest colony world of Batorine. The morning sun streaking through the bedroom window across his bare torso. The dark brown sheets draped across his lower half. The night before he and his partner Mab had attended the masquerade ball hosted by the Empress herself. It was their first night away from their newly constructed family home since her recovery from the brink of death, the devastation following the punishment from her former master. He had thanked Typhojem for allowing them to build this villa in the forest, a sanctuary away from all the stress and expectations of the Empire, and one that had been sorely needed once her punishment and then forced sedation to keep her from self-harm sent her into a month of insanity.

Somehow, he felt that the timing of the build was not by mere accident. That the force itself sensed a coming of its need and provided the opportunity to them both, Terrogates contacts through his new business, workforce newly acquired though initially meant for other means and even the hiring of Jovian and Nova. Both pivotal in keeping the Iktotchi Witch alive over the last months. Terrogate, could take this line of thinking all the way back to the Cantina when Mab \*Then Knight Ammit, had spontaneously offered up her hands to lord Cruor. The Catharian wondered, as he often did how and why things had played out in his life. A butterfly flaps its wings on one side of a planet and a tsunami engulfs a city on the other side. It was only now he started to understand the true meaning behind it all. Something Mab deep down had known for a long time now, something he had never understood, that the future was only an opportunity presented. A million choices, a million possible futures.. But those strong and attuned to the force will always find their way, to exactly where they need to be. Regardless of outer influence, and intrusion. And it had led him to her, and she to him, a fact that was undeniable for them both. A connection through the force that Aboloth herself could not hope to sever. A connection he had only read about in the deep archives mentioned as a Dyad, at least that is how it felt to him.

Terrogate blinks in the daylight now flooding into the room, he looks across the bed expecting to see his love Mab lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. But instead her side of the bed is empty. Made, as though she had never even come to bed. Terrogate rises up and dresses in basic pants, leaving his chest bare. The scars on the right pectoral of his chest and the bite scars on his arm are permanent reminders of the price Ammit had paid for their chance of a life together. And of what his sedating her put her through. Inside he felt dull constant guilt about his part in it, one he wasn't sure would ever truly fade.

He leaves the bedroom, the rest of the house is silent like the grave. Jovian, Nova, the kids all still asleep. Silently Terrogate looks through the house but no sign of her, except for her black and gold high heels sitting by the door and her mask sat on the table next to his. Matching, in their black and golden outlines. His, the lion's head representing his heritage. Hers, golden leaves. A clear tribute to their home on Batorine. Terrogate smiles and then moves into the kitchen, it’s cupboards built from dark toned native woods, the bench tops built from the black granit of the planet itself, he makes a hot morning Caff and a herbal Tea, and then makes his way outside with the mugs.

He walks across the front of the house, the pool water gently rippling in the morning breeze, below it through the glass bottom was the stone altar Mab had privately requested built by Yeg Sunnar the Bothan master builder. Once again Terrogate’s mind moves towards the idea of fate.. Ammit had requested this alter seemingly on a whim, yet not so much as a month later, meditated on that Alter for four straight days. With nothing to sustain her mortal body except the force itself. Her life was pain itself, she knew little else, punishment, betrayal, abuse both mental and physical  Ammit, Horbé, had killed herself in the process of gaining her strength needed to survive in this world, a world where they could be together, and raise her family. A family that he now felt very much a part of but could not add to. But that was ok, as long as he had still had her. He would burn in the fires of Mustafar for her, and he knew she would do the same for him.

Crossing the lawn, the freshly dropped autumn leaves crunching under his feet the Cathar makes his way down the path, the tall forest trees still clinging to the morning mist. With her newly purchased ship “The busted Plugga” and his ship ROAR-1 sill on the landing pad he knew theirs was only 1 place she would be. He approached the mythical circle stones, set in a clearing only a few hundred meters from the house and next to the stream he found his partner. The space was a mystery, a circle of several upright squared off slabs of granite. Perhaps placed by the native Blood carvers? But Terrogate sensed they were even older still, and Mab especially had felt an instant connection to the ring of stone pillars.

Mab was sitting cross legged in the center of the stones circle, she was still wearing her black and gold gown from the night before, her makeup still on but a little smudged from where they had kissed passionately under the stars in the Planetarium next to the library. She has her eyes closed in meditation, the morning sun breaking through the overnight mists and was now bathing her in a golden warmth as she sits still.

Despite the new sun the air still had a slight chill, and her breath was visible as she slowly inhaled and exhaled while she sat in the silence of the Forest. The muscular warrior approaches her, and without sound sits down behind her, his long legs stretched out on either side of her body. He places his Caff on the ground next to him then reaches around her with his right hand in front of her holding out her herbal tea, allowing the aroma to fill the air in front of her. “Good morning, I thought you may like some tea after last night. Although I didn’t expect to see you out here this morning.. Tell me,  is something troubling you my love?” The Apprentice says, trying hard to do so with only the slightest sound of concern in his voice.

For a moment she didn’t respond, but the Catharian could see a tear run down her cheek, it shimmers in the morning sun like a small diamond. Mab sighs, and opens her golden eyes. “Good morning my heart" she responds without looking at him. Terrogate can sense her emotions, the entire stone circle seems to be filled with them. “I couldn’t sleep, I tried.” She continues. With her golden hand she reaches for a big red coloured mushroom, only now he notices the entire area is filled with mushrooms and he knew at once it was her doing. Ever since she learned to control the life energy of plants, the forest around their home flourished tenfold compared to the surrounding forest area.

She turns her head to meet him, her eyes looking into his, a faint but sad smile on her face. “I tried..” she repeats, but she didn’t mean ‘trying to sleep', this was about something else and Terrogate knew it. “I really tried, for you. But I can’t do it anymore” she looks away, more tears flow from her eyes “I keep seeing them, I can't forget what happened..”

The Cathar warrior places her tea on the ground next to them. Her sadness ran through him also, the force connection was so strong between them he felt her emotions as though they were his own in this instance, then again perhaps it was his sadness he felt that was overwhelming him.. But there was also a feeling of realisation, one of choice and also outside influence combined. Destiny perhaps.. he wasn't sure. After only a few brief moments of clarity everything became foggy.. His feelings and hers merged and became clouded, thick like the mists of the forest the surrounded them unable to be identified. Only now small hints remained of their joint connection, brief and fragil.

He looks into the Iktotchis tearful eyes before she looks away, then he speaks to her.. ”Mab, I want you to know that I do not blame you. It was not your fault, any of it.” he knew exactly what she had meant, that Mab had failed where they both had once been confident for progress. Confidence that she could, indeed be reborn anew, indeed everything was going to plan.. Until the ball. Until she saw them. The Cathar places both arms around her waist, embracing her from behind and pulling her close to him. She was cold, colder than normal, and he wrapped his fur covered muscular arms around hers in an attempt to warm her. ”I know last night was exceptionally difficult for you Mab, but I also need you to know, is that whatever you decide, I am here for you..” Terrogate now whispered Into the silence of the morning Forrest. ”Just tell me what you need.”

The tears kept rolling over her pale cheeks, she felt overwhelmed, she felt like she had let him down. The night before they were hopeful, they believed she had recovered and she was going to show the Empire she had risen from the ashes like a Phoenix. She has had her usual playful twinkle in her eyes, she was happy for the first time after her brutal punishment..... but now it was all gone, the happiness then playfulness had faded. “I’m so sorry, I know I promised that I would try. But it’s to much for me.” Mab said softly as she looked away, she felt disappointed in herself, embarrassed that she had been so confident that she was ready only to find out that she was nowhere near being ready. She turned away, she wanted to hide herself from him but he pulled her closer, forcing her to lean back into his embrace. She felt loved, but part of her felt that she didn’t deserve it.

“I thought I could handle it, but...” she paused for a moment thinking about the night before. She had felt anxious to go to the seasonal ball, it was the first time she would be in public after what had happened in Kaas City all those months ago. But still she felt confident that she was ready, she felt happy to be on the arm of the man she loved. “But when I saw them it all came back to me as if it just had happened.. I wanted to run.” Slowly she turned her head, looking at him with sadness in her eyes. “You were there holding my hand and yet I felt so alone.” Again she paused, her eyes seemed to gaze into the distance, she was thinking about the night before. After their visit to the library they had returned to the ballroom, there she was confronted by her tormentor. They didn’t speak to her, but seeing them was enough for her to break.

The darkside emotions resonated from her like a powerful electrical current, the mushrooms around her grew bigger feeding of her energy. “I felt unwelcome, hated by those I once looked up to.” Shaking her head slightly side to side she continued “I have no place in the Empire.” Her golden eyes shifted back to him, watery from the crying “I can’t go back, I can’t.” At that moment the once so strong Iktotchi broke like a fragile piece of porcelain. The feeling that she had let him down was overwhelming, she wanted to try for him but it was too painful. Tears kept running down her pale cheeks “I won’t return. I will stay here... on Batorine... with you, with our family. That is all I need.” She felt safe in his arms, he was her home, he was her life. “I am so sorry” she cried, “you are all I need.”

For a time he said nothing, the Cathar warrior just sat embracing her, taking in her words, this was her wish to retire into the forest world of Batorine. He wanted to try and talk her out of it, but deep down he knew there was nothing he could say that would sway her mind. He needed to accept that things would now change for them after this, and also that he would need to continue his training and development in Tollere, continue to hone his skills under the tutelage of his master Knight Deleritas and also Lord Vexx. From this path he must not deviate if he is to achieve his goals.

Terrogate leans in, and kisses Mab on her head. ”It’s ok, we still have each other, and that's what matters now.” He pulls her into him and leans his head on hers but says nothing further. No more words were needed. And there they sat, together in the circle of stones, surrounded by the forest of their home watching the sun rising through the morning mists.

(\* This marks the end of Mab ”Ammit” Bathories active time in the ESE )

End.