P.I.E

*The most secretive agency in the entire tower is filled with incapable fools; yet they can do anything they set their minds to. It's a terrifying mix, it would be wise to limit their funding unless they are brought into line. - **Opal Terra** , advising the Red King.*

# **P.I.E**

The most reknowned organization in the tower for maintaining control of the paranormal, extraterrestrial and interdimensional threats that exist outside and inside the tower. Lead by it's leader, **Jupiter Eon** whose agents refer to him as 'J.' He maintains a tight grip on information going in and about their work.

## Known Members of P.I.E

* **Ace Alton** - Played by Ethan
* **Besurith, The Untamed** - Played by Todd
* **Doctor Faust & Nim** - Played by Simon (and Ethan voicing Nim)
* **Donald Hughes** - Senior Investigator of P.I.E
* **Jupiter Eon** - Director of P.I.E

## Subject Database

Throughout it's many years of operation, P.I.E has captured and houses a multitude of strange creatures, objects and outsiders that don't necessarily obey the rules of the tower. These creatures, outsiders or other entities are considered to be the most volatile and dangerous beings in the entire tower. Their containment within P.I.E facilities is for ensuring the safety of all within the tower.

* **[Subject 0022 - Learned One]**
* **[Subject 0794 - The Buddha]**
* **[Subject 1027 - Cursed Womb Fragment]**
* **[Subject 2567 - Time Fragment]**
* **[Subject 2798 - The Door Man]**
* **[Subject 2933 - Star Fragment]**
* **[Subject 3771 - Necklace of the Outer One]**
* **[Subject 3895 - Will of the AXIS]**
* **[Subject XXXX - Unknown Entity]**

## Contracts in Rotation

Agents of P.I,E who have been specially equipped (further information is redacted) may wield contracts that are provided in agents. Only one contract can be used by a person for a mission; the contract is no longer usable after it is used once.

1. **Transdermal Celebration**
2. **Feel Good Inc**
3. **Piss up a Rope**
4. **Ocean Man**
5. **~~Rhinestone Eyes~~**
6. **On Melancholy Hill**
7. **~~It's going to be a Long Night~~**
8. **Tomorrow Comes Today**
9. **~~Hey There Fancypants~~**
10. **Dirty Harry**
11. **Around the World**
12. **Down Under**
13. **Dragostea Din Tei (Numa Numa)**
14. **Hey Ya!**
15. **The Chain**
16. **Bananas & Blow**
17. **Don't Shit Where You Eat**
18. **The Mollusk**

## Session Logs

### Session #1 - Space Oddity

The party had awoken in a white room, the alcoholic Ace complained that the white lights were hurting his eyes whilst Faust & Nim looked for vampires within the room, accusing Ace of being a vampire for wearing sunglasses; side conversations began to synthesize just as Jupiter Eon had interjected. "Lights!" When the group had seen P.I.E for what it is, a group of scientists studying the various extraterrestrial threats governing the tower. After a fair bit of discussion three things were established.

1. The group were unable to be killed. If they were going to die, instead of dying they would simply wake up within their **Spelljammer** or wherever their extra bodies lay in wait for them. Their consciousness transfers over to the new body and they would gain back all of their spell slots and be okay.
2. The aforementioned immortality caused a fuck ton of credits to create and perfect, in total it costed 100,000,000 credits in order to engineer this correctly. And in addition, it's about 10,000 credits per new body created.
3. P.I.E Held hostages to make sure they would do their assignments, namely Ace's **Alcoholics Anonymous** mentor **Greg** was taken hostage by other agents to coerce him into cooperating with the demands of the organization, Faust's new book was held hostage as well. Baz was overall pretty cooperative and wasn't presented a hostage.

They were given the mission to leave the tower and head into a local celestial object within the tower's gravity, a space station retreat for the monk **Yuudai Yasuko** that was more similar to a bachelor pad than a monastery. The were tasked with fighting aliens and eradicating XENOS from the facility. After taking a spell jammer to the moon, shenanigans began to occur as 2 intellect devourers emerged and killed off Faust, and it was discovered that when one dies, so does the other.

The small critters were eventually killed, and the party discovered a broken-into vault containing a small amount of loot. Within the pile of loot, was a glass eye that had latent traces of the weave on it. Not knowing better what horror he was dealing with, Faust tried to implant it into his eye. The eye grew a mouth and was discovered to be a mimic. The mimic was a decent guy, and decided to befriend Faust. Faust and his newly named friend **Scarfie** decided to travel together on to the next room. Two **Nothics** came into the room, and upon talking with Faust decided not to attack him, but upon looking at **Scarfie** they threw up and ran away.

Moving onwards, they found a telescope that allows them to look at distant stars, with some stars having magic effects, Baz was able to get advantage from looking upon Polaris, and Ace had been teleported away to a randomly chosen room upon looking at a different star. Faust had attempted to follow him using the same star, but ended up in a kitchen instead. Ace looked through books at his location, finding an array of useful books hinting at the Red Prince's fleet and a distant threat that they are dealing with. Delaying an invasion of the tower ever so slightly. Six more Nothics came in and were staring at Scarfie, maintaining a safe distance between themselves and the horror of the mimic. They proclaimed an exodus off of this space station and began to evacuate. PC's had thought this was a bit.

Party regrouped, and eventually contacted J. to ask for assistance about what the fuck this little scarf was. Upon close analyis, they had discovered it to be the "Will" of the AXIS. To which they would not further elaborate, nonetheless, the party evacuated the spaceship as Scarfie began to consume the entire space station, and had managed to consume a single Faustian toe.

Nonetheless, a wacky adventure with a wacky ending. I missed some stuff of the recap, but I got most of it.