Headhunters 3: The Soon-to-be-Severed Seventeen

## Introduction

After an absolutely bonkers week, we've made it through phase one of Headhunters. I learned to hate and then love this league all over again.

At the end of this writeup, I did put one last section about #TradeGate2021 for those that are interested. If you're not, than don't read it. That's why I put it at the end.

That being said, I did want to make one thing clear at the very beginning of the writeup:

## New Rules (Dua Lipa)

Now that the collusion period has ended for 2021, I think there is room to grow off the Bottom Two Merger Twist that we tried out the last few weeks. I wanted to see how it played and what people felt about it and the reaction was mixed. Additionally, the reaction to the bitch/emoji collusion that it inspired was extremely negative. So I think there is middle ground/potential in merger strategies.

Let's see how everyone feels at the end of 2021 whether we expand or remove collusion in 2022.

Regarding the rest of 2021:

* No collusion or merger with another team unless it becomes a new twist later depending on how crazy I'm feeling that week.
* Fair trades can still include players, draft picks, money, or immunity idols (as of now, Derek is the only person in possession of an idol)
* At any point you can put one of your players up for auction and collect that cash (message me if you're interested).
* Tanking/benching players for waiver priority is still fair game

## It's ALIIIIVE! (Bobecue Chicken)

Just in time for the Halloween season, we have our first resurrection in Headhunters history.

When we lost two managers last week in possibly the most ridiculous overblown disagreement in LOC history, I knew there was only one man to call.

Bob was the unfortunate victim of an early chopping in week two. He wanted to team up, but instead got taken behind the woodshed by Soul Survivor. Luckily for him, I decided to go John Hammond on his ass and squeeze a drop of blood out of a dead mosquito to clone him back from extinction.

So Bob has returned as Sloppy Seconds and now controls the roster drafted by the deceased Steve Blackman's Nun. We're treating this like a Baltimore Raven/Cleveland Brown situation. He may not have drafted this roster but the recordbooks will log his season as Bobecue's, not Steve Blackman's.

Now that he is back, he has just one thing on his mind: revenge. Soul Survivor is still out there, stronger and more Van Rossumy than ever. Will Bob survive long enough to see his foes vanquished?

## A New Criminal Joins the Dungeon - Introducing Roger Bacon

What a fucking way to burst on to the scene for Roger Bacon, ladies and gentlemen. The newest manager to join the fray, playing under the "Who the Fuck are all of you" banner, Roger has already made a HUGE impact in his first six days.

Roger is a college buddy of mine, who also has ties to Bobecue Chicken and Ya Hate 2 See It. We studied film together and even made a strange experiemental short called "Safety in Numbers" that probably only exists on the dark web at this point.

He's a Jets fan who lacks the blind confidence of Bad Boys and the innocent hope of Soul Survivor. He is the first player to ever join the LOC Expanded Universe who resides on the west coast (California). He's the perfect blend of "I'm going to win this league" and "I have no idea what's going on," which essentially boils down to 1.) he'll be good at the fantasy part and 2.) he won't know enough to come up with an insane scheme to collude and overthrow me.

Roger had a big first week. For starters, he won the re-bid for DK Metcalf at 70% of the initial price. Then he proceeded to win the week with a whopping 215.73. For dessert, he pulled off the biggest trade (by player rankings) in HH history when he shipped Ridley and Sony off to Guilloteam for Najee Harris and Jakobi Meyers.

I can't wait to see what he does for an encore. Welcome into the fold, Bacon.

## Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)

This and all other charts adjusted to reflect Bobecue Chicken still alive and Pats a bitch extinct.

Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021)

Arguably the worst team to ever participate in Headhunters, maybe even topping "Philip's Team" from 2019. Philip's Team, for those who forget, never set his lineup or bid on any players and still somehow survived four weeks.

Through three weeks, Pats a bitch is technically the only team to be eliminated. 19 other managers are still alive.

## Dead Money

Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.

Dead Money

## Week Three Merge: The Van Rossum Alliance

After finishing in last place week one, Soul Survivor opted for a head-to-head with Bobecue Chicken that ended up knocking Chicken into early extinction.

In week two, it was Commish and Coach blazing a trail and tanking to merge.

In week three, Soul Survivor once again finishes in last place, only this time on purpose. Soul Survivor has decided to merge with her cousin, Bad Boys owner KVR. Together, they have formed Bad VRs, a strong Van Rossum alliance that immediately shoots to a top-10 contender. It's worth noting that a bad trade offer in 2019 created an early rivalry between KVR and Bob. Add in the Soul Survivor vs. Sloppy Seconds showdown in week two and the intensity is ratcheted up even higher between Bobecue and the Van Rossum Alliance.

Knowing that Bad Boys and Soul Survivor were tanking, Beach McBungalow smartly benched their team in order to piggyback on the tank and up their waiver priority (based on reverse order of standings). It's the first ever three-team strategic move and it's exactly what I envisioned when I put this in place. It almost makes me want to add one more merge week on to the Wheel of Fate...

## New Releases

Teams are starting to starve, just like real Survivor castaways. They're begging for an infusion of talent on the waiver wire. Well, they're going to have to wait one more week. Here are the best new players on the market:

1. Teddy Bridgewater
2. JD McKissic
3. Peyton Barber
4. Parris Campbell
5. Evan Engram

After taking Kareem Hunt last week, Soul Survivor's infinity gauntlet continues collecting stones with a haul from Bad Boys that includes Deebo, Zeke, and Aaron Rodgers.

## Week Three Bidding Results

#### Quick-hit thoughts

* Titanic knew his plea for a merger was going unanswered so he bid big to nab a back that could compensate for the loss of J.K. Dobbins.
* Aaron Rodgers went for $280 more than necessary with the 2nd highest bid being Blitz's traditional 69. However, with the merger, Bad Boys gained half of that back (merged teams keep the average of the two budgets).
* Meyers only went for $25, which still seems like too much, but Guilloteam traded his ass days later anyway. What was the end game for that one?
* Return of the Mac spent his money on two players who underwhelmed, and his team would have been chopped had it not been for the merge tanks. He'll have to dream a little bigger this week.

Last Year's most expensive week two player: Alvin Kamara ($512).

## Money Spent Per Week

Money Spent Per Week
 3

## Week Three Results

* Biggest Climber: CP (^12)

* Biggest Faller: I Can Dere-lick My Own Balls/Return of the Mac (v8)

## Kings of the Castle

### 1. Who the Fuck are all of you?

A lot has already been said about the theatrical entrance of our newest manager. Real come to Jesus moment for the rest of the league that maybe we replaced Steve Blackman's Nun with a manager who actually knows what he is doing.

### 2. Out of Luck

Nasty group of WRs here with Davante Adams, Keenan Allen, Ja'Marr Chase, and now Brandon Aiyuk getting going. David Johnson starting at RB, albeit an Out of Luck mainstay, is not the best look. But there is enough talent to keep the good times rolling for a while longer.

### 3. Last Matts Standing

The debut of the Matt Alliance went pretty okay. For two teams combining forces, a first place finish should have almost been automatic, and would have been if not for the start/sit decision with Hurts and Herbert.

### 4. CP

Well yeah, if Matthew Stafford is going to do THAT every week this team is in great shape. CEH and Andrews both came alive too, giving CP the first good performance of the season.

### 5. The Guilloteam

Someone forgot to tell Guilloteam that if something isn't broken, you don't try to fix it. Maybe he didn't want to go another week starting Sammy Watkins and Brandin Cooks as his two WRs, because he shipped off his highest scoring non-QB player for Calvin Ridley. TE also seems to be a problem for this team if Gronk is going to start breaking down, plus David Njoku is still loyal to McBungalow so I don't expect any production from him.

## On the Chopping Block

### 19. Soul Survivor

Now she becomes Bad VRs and merges with a manager out to prove that last season's early exit was a fluke.

### 18. Bad Boys

Bad Boys got confused last season and was the second eliminated. He blamed it on being a basketball coach or something, but who can say for sure? He's already lasted twice as long this season and is on a war path now that he's merged with Soul Survivor.

### 17. Beach McBungalow

Nothing to stress about here for Beach McBung. The team is strong and now, thanks to his strategy, 4th in waiver priority.

### 16. Return of the Mac

Good thing for Kyler Murray's 31 points or this team may not have gotten over the Costa Line. Dyami Brown actually net negative in a flex spot. Could be scary hours if Dalvin Cook cannot suit up in week 4.

### 15. It's Blitz! Track 2

Brutal day for Blitz. He lost AJ Brown, who is now week-to-week, and James White, both mid-game. Big Ben looks #Done, and Antonio Brown is out with COVID. With very little on the waiver wire this week, Blitz is certainly on the #EdgeOfExtinction.

## Narrow Defeats

Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:

Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams

## Rulers of the Kingdom

2021 first place finishers:

Top Scorers by Week
 2
 3

## Dungeon Dwellers

2021 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:

Low Scorers by Week
 2
 3

What a descent for Mac, going 1st in week one to last in week 3. Should be interesting this week.

## Single Season Scoring Records

Updated through the 2020 season. Will anyone be able to come close to the 3400+ point performances of CP or Blitz from 2019? As teams get eliminated their season will be added to the record books. Bob's season was added in here last week but since he's back I've taken him out and added Pats a bitch instead.

## All-Time Combined Points Scored

Updated through the 2020 season. As teams get eliminated, their updated totals will be added to the record books.

## CONCLUSION

That's all for this week! Little blurb about TradeGate below for those who want a little bit more of my thought process on the future of the league. For everyone else, see you next week and happy hunting!

## #TradeGate2021

By now everyone pretty much knows what went down. I wasn't happy with what I viewed as a questionable move, and the two managers involved weren't happy with what they viewed as a hypocritical stance/overreaction on my part. The managers quit. No hard feelings. It was a disagreement about fantasy football, not life or death and certainly not something that affects anything outside of the game.

I ***did*** have a pretty enlightening discussion with an anonymous manager about what this league truly is and why my decision to limit collusion wasn't necessarily correct. I enjoyed this talk a lot even though I didn't 100% agree with that notion.

They told me the league changed forever the moment I introduced merging teams, and I have to allow that to grow and continue. They said "Headhunters is essentially the game of Survivor." And they nailed it, because that's EXACTLY what I was going for.

What I love about Survivor is that (for the most part) the game can throw twists and turns at players and change the dynamics of the competition, but contestants still need to outwit and outplay in order to outlast. I say *for the most part* because there are seasons where the twists influence the game too much. In season 19, one dude survived by finding THREE hidden immunity idols. Instead of being voted out, he made it to the final two. Sure, the strategy of finding idols is part of it. But it's also a little bit too much luck or producer intervention, don't you think?

So is it still fantasy football if a team uses mechanisms outside of the actual game of fantasy to advance beyond where he or she has any right advancing?

One immunity idol saves you for a week. You have to earn it and decide when to play it. That's strategy. Three idols has little to do with strategy or fantasy. It just knocks off three other players that maybe deserved to keep playing because they statistically did better than you.

Or this: merge three teams early, get $3,000 and enough top-20 players to coast the first 10 weeks without making a move...then come over the top on everyone down the stretch when they only have a couple hundo left combined. Is that fair?

Yeah, everyone else could do the same thing. And yeah, the managers only get 1/3rd of the pot if they win but does it ruin the game for 17 other players who just want to play guillotine and have managed their teams well on their own? I don't know.

All I know is that I felt a runaway train coming with what happened last week and needed to stop it before it got out off the tracks. Did I do it in too dramatic a fashion? Probably, but you guys know me by now and that's the only way I know how to do things.

If this is going to expand and become part of the chaos, so be it, but there still needs to be some regulation. "Survivor" contestants can't collude with camera people for food and shelter, you know? They still exist within the confines of the game.

I agree with what anonymous manager #1 said. This is Survivor. This is a different game than straight up fantasy. However, the rules for this season were clear that you had to be in the bottom two for the first three weeks in order to attempt a merge. Next year, and every year that follows, I promise that all the rules will be made clearer from the very beginning before people buy in. If next year it's decided that collusion is allowed through September, or up to the top 10, or not at all, than it will be known by everyone playing. For now, we're over that period of the game for 2021 and we're going to play some fantasy football. Let's get on with it!