Robert of Hartenstinkher

Robert ran through the alleyways, only stopping once to catch his breath. He was fleeing from the greatest evil that has ever walked this Earth. Campers. Robert (of Hartenstinker) was once a captain of the 3rd Demigod Battalion of the Army of Kronos, and when the dust cleared and the Gods prevailed, Robert refused to return to camp. He gathered up his allies and lived in a warehouse, biding his time, until a leak unleashed all the forces of Camp Half-Blood unto him.

Robert, and his allies (Johann Stretzalburg, Adamus Muuzt, and Liesel Babington), all split up to evade capture, but the Campers were gaining ground, getting closer, closer, closer. There was only one option Robert had left. He ducked into a McDonald's restroom and hoped for the best, knowing that this is the last place Campers would look for him. As he was hiding he reflected on the events of the past few days.

His former best friend and ally, Hieronymus Synterklaus, had betrayed him! How unspeakably horrid! Robert declared an oath, that he would see Hieronymus's head on a pike, and he would go through Hades and back to see it done. It was so unexpected, he was the most loyal comrade anyone could ask for! At least his one love, Liesel Babington, had not left! Aye, she may only be a child of Thanatos, a small, insignificant little devil, but alas, her beauty can not be described by mortal tongues, all that can be said is that she was always called Rafflesia in school and camp, and no one knows what a rafflesia is, so it must be assumed it must be, a compliment!

After a few minutes, Robert decided it was safe to leave. He finished his...business and went on his way, to guts and glory, ready to fight for his cause, his ideal, his never-dying belief in *Helvete,*his dream of a paradise for demigods, where there would be no gods or prophecies, only life. *Helvete* would be a city, underground, away from prying eyes, where all would be safe and free.

He walked down the streets, heading towards their other secret warehouse Synterklaus had conveniently never learned about but the others did, when suddenly an army of Campers ambushed him. After defeating one....thousand of them a lucky shot rendered him incapacitated.

He woke up in a hospital bed, with tubes in his arm and all that other stuff. The doctor came up to him and told him he was diagnosed with breast cancer. (WARNING: IF YOU ARE EASILY BUTTHURT GO AWAY) He had 2 months to live. So he phoned the Make-a-Wish foundation and said, "Hey, can you go detonate a Neutron bomb on (insert coordinates of Camp Half-Blood here)?"

They said, "sure why not no one lives there after all.."

## Five Minutes Later......

Robert eventually died of the cancer and two minutes later the cure was found when a Dutch cybernetician invented Nano-Med Bots that would shoot lasers at cancer cells.

Hieronymus Synterklaus was killed in the Neutronic bomb explosion, as well as the population of NYC because of the massive amounts of nuclear fallout.

Liesel Babington married, had 4 kids, divorced for no good reason, took the kids, and became a critically acclaimed actor.

Adamus Muuzt was also killed by the Neutron bomb.

Johann Stretzalburg eventually became a world renowned composer who reignited classical and Baroque music.

The McDonald's became a meeting place for forging faux drachmas

Helvete is Norse for Hell and bae is Danish for poop, a Rafflesia is the world's largest flower and smells like rotting meat.

Thanatos was also killed in the explosion

The Make-a-Wish foundation was taken down for constructing and launching nuclear warheads

The Camp was destroyed.

The warehouses were completely forgotten about.

This is what a neutron bomb looks like when it goes boom compared to a normal nuke(bottom). Neutron bombs instead release far more radiation instead of using a big explosion. For more information on Neutron bombs:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutron\_bomb

If you don't trust Wikipedia you are a hypocritical fascist.

O <----- Neutron Bomb Explosion

Normal Nuke Below

```
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```

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```