Chapter 12 - Worse to Worst (G&G)

The
 battlers quickly learned that Chubba’s midnight training session was
not as bad as they had thought it would be.  Oh no, it was far worse.
 Instead of simply coming out and admitting to the whole thing being a
scheme to get them to do his chores, he insisted upon upping the
difficulty of the tasks to make it all seem like an actual workout.
 Washing the dishes became washing the dishes while under the fire of a
machine gun; doing the laundry became doing the laundry while under the
fire a machine gun; tidying every inch of the building became tidying
every inch of the building while wearing backpacks loaded with bricks.
 This last exercise was, of course, while under the fire of a machine
gun.  After an hour of miserable labor, GB finally snapped.  That is to
say, his wooden tentacle snapped.

“AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!” cried the blooper, collapsing to the ground and narrowly avoiding a shower of bullets.

“Oh, please,” groaned
 Blizzerd, who was struggling to balance a dish on his head.  “You’ve
lost that hunk of junk plenty of times, and you’ve never acted like
this.”

“No, something
isn’t-” GB was cut off by sudden cries of agony.  The cries of agony
came from him. “Something isn’t right… I can’t find it, but that really
isn’t important since I FEEL LIKE I’M ABOUT TO DIE!”

“To be honest, I
don’t even care.”  At that moment, Blizzerd found himself under fire.
 He flopped onto the ground, and GB dragged him behind a box.

“Guess what?” he
said, glaring at the barribad.  “Now you do.”  Blizzerd sighed and
glanced at the spot where the makeshift tentacle should have been.  To
his surprise, he did see the makeshift tentacle.  Only the end of it,
however, for the break had jammed it deep into his squid body.

“Oh.”  That was all
Blizzerd could say before he began to vomit uncontrollably.  Panicked by
 his panicked behavior, the blooper cocked his head to see what had
caused it.  The frightful display sent him into a fit of screams.
 Surprisingly enough, the combined stealth of their vomiting and
shouting did not conceal them for long.  A big, meaty ogre hand reached
over the crate and grabbed each of them by their heads, lifting them up
into the air.

"Yes!  Please kill me, Chubba!” GB cried between tears.  “I can’t take this pain anymore!  JUST END ME!”

“BLLLLGLLRGLGLRRGHRHGH,”
 said Blizzerd, who was still vomiting.  The clubba widened his eyes for
 a moment before letting the two go and breaking into a laughing fit.

“Oh, man!  I sure
got you guys good!” howled the disguised Parin.  “Maybe next time you’ll
 think twice before smooching my man, you suicidal tentacle mon-”

“CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS ON MY MUTILATED CONDITION,” shrieked GB, who looked as if he was hanging onto his life by a thread.

“Sorry, GB, but I’m
afraid there are more pressing matters to attend to.  Those who do not
work must be given the appropriate punishment.”  The real Chubba had
arrived and shoved Parin, as well as the continually vomiting Blizzerd,
in front of him.  As he lead them off at gunpoint, the injured blooper
rose his voice.

“Wait!  What about me?”

“What about you?”
Chubba retorted, not turning around to face him.  “These two are quite
clearly in need of some psychiatric help, and that is exactly what
they’re going to get.  Your horribly disfigured condition that nobody
cares about is punishment enough.  We’re off, so please continue to
writhe in pain.”

As soon as they were
 gone, every remaining battler ran from the kitchen.  Everyone except
GB, of course, who was so badly injured that he could barely function.
 He tried with all of his might to remove the snapped hunk of wood from
his socket using his other tentacles, but it only deepened the pain.  He
 realized that, if not for Parin’s stupid prank, someone may have been
able to help him and end his misery.  In fact, he wouldn’t have been in
that situation at all if not for the duplighost.  Finally, he was able
to rip the wood stake out, along with a decent chunk of his body.

Left with no other
choice, the blooper took hold of two nearby forks and painstakingly
dragged himself all the way to the shop, fully expecting to die at any
moment.  When he finally got inside, he dropped the utensils and reached
 for a life shroom sitting atop the counter.  Before he could snatch it,
 however, a certain green dinosaur hopped up from behind it.

“Greetings, unvalued
 customer!” Yoshi shouted, a smile spread across his face not due to his
 happiness to serve, but because of GB’s obvious pain.  He pulled the
life shroom slightly out of the blooper’s reach.  “Ah, I see you’ve got
your eye on this life shroom.  Since you seem to want it so badly, I’ll
give it to you for a 1% discount!  Doesn’t that sound like a great bar-”
  GB used the last of his strength to flop up onto the counter and
devour the item whole.  To his dismay, it did very little to lessen the
weight of his dilemma other than numb the pain by a bit.  It also did
not bring back the wallet that Yoshi had just taken from his pocket of
blubber.

Long after Yoshi
left his shop for no particular reason, GB remained on the counter,
motionless.  He had no tentacle.  He had no team.  Worst of all,
however, he had no purpose in life.  GB quickly changed his mind,
realizing that a functioning tentacle would be much more important in
his present situation.  He glanced at his remaining limbs, but was
quickly distracted by something far more captivating.  Hanging on the
wall, GB saw the flier that would be the solution to his problem.