Episode 133

**Episode 133** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features Ben playing the most harrowing game of gay chicken ever against TJ. Will Ben survive? Find out on the next episode of **Drunken Peasants Z**, *TJ Defeated Saga*.

## Highlights

* The rise of the Moth Man.
* Gail vs. TJ.
* Q&A Segment.
* Butt King's time as an atheist.

## Start of The Show

The show starts, though it should have started Monday, but Scotty was too busy jerking off to John Cena, with Lance Sloane, Christian extraordinaire. He announces that because they are lazy fucks the show will keep airing later and later. After the intro they discuss how John Cena is amazing and is going to beat Seth Rollins. They then call T-Shirt Guy who is doing good because hes high and is garbage because he doesn't like wrestling. TJ then discusses how he will destroy Mike Tyson in a fight. They then plan to ask if Brent Spiner is indeed a Jesuit clone at Comic Con.

They start out with two Troll or Not a Troll episodes. The first video was shot on a potato and features a potato calling all gamers entitled pieces of shit because gamers complain about games and because of Gamergate, even though a sizeable amount of gamers don't support Gamergate or are indifferent to it. The second video was a numerology video by a guy who is totally not a troll because he has connection with the totally real Lance Sloan. He exposes the Viigilant Christian to be part of the Illuminati. The Peasants then banned shirt guy forever.

They then go onto one of the Butt King's old atheist videos back when he was a bro-dude. The Walrus Emperor talks about his erectile dysfunction and talks about how his churches he went to were all backwards as fuck yo. TJ then punched himself in the face because he was attacking Brett Keane's family. He was then mauled by Scotty and died momentarily before his Wendy's pacemaker kicked back into gear.

Scotty then became TJ in one of the greatest impressions of all time. After which they went back to the Bread Queen's video, where he talked about how he did homework and TJ lies that he wouldn't have sex with Brett Keane's neck fat. Ben then promises that TJ will do a Yo Mama competition with Gail Chord Schuler for 1492 likes. Scotty then threatens to assault Scotty Cena out of penis envy.

## Middle of The Show

Gail Chord Schuler and TJ then engage in an epic Yo Mama Battle that shall be sung about in songs and legends for millenniums to come. They then moved onto an allegation that The Vigilant Christian was arrested due to drug charges of a small amount of pan. None of the peasants, as fellow Panheads, think anything of it, yo. TJ, using his god voice, then read off Bible verses pertaining to the topic of the morality of smoking pan.

The peasants then went onto a video of a completely real miracle of a video of a painting totally moving its lips for real. Next up is a Josh Fuckstalin video calling Obama traitorous for calling upon the United Nations to deal with their negotiations with Iran over their nuclear program.

After a long ramble about West Virginia and Mothman, they move onto an Alex Jones video where he rants about how there's a movement to sexualize children and yet simultaneously their endgame is eugenics exterminism to to turn us into asexual humanoids. Next Right Wing Watch video also features Alex Jones, the retarded shark talking with a human plum, a *pluman* if you will. They both agree that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian and a Muslim Brotherhood funder (like Obama who was raised by the Black Panthers).

They then argue with Shirt Guy showing Obama's grand plan of conquering Canada. Shirt Guy reveals that he bows to his gay, black masters. The third Right Wing Watch video has a man, who looks like he came from a tanning magazine, claims that homosexuals are over 1000% more likely to be paedophiles.

They then move onto a debate between actor Matthew Perry and Christopher Hitchen's highly uptight conservative brother about the efficiency of drug courts. Evil Hitchens then states that the criminal justice system should punish nonviolent drug offenders to deter future criminals, because that totalllllly woooorrrks. (It never has.) He says that it's never done anyone good to be nice to be drug addicts, because fuck being nice to people. Obviously we must be communists for thinking nonviolent drug offenders shouldn't be treated like they have a health problem and not like violent criminals.

The next video is Obama being asked if Bill Cosby will be revoked of his Presidential Medal of Freedom. Barack Obama gives the honest answer that there is no precedent for revoking Medals of Freedom, so he is obviously a proponent of rape culture. Moving forward, the Peasants covered Barack Obama's commuting of sentences to drug offenses.

## End of The Show

Approaching the endgame, the peasants cover a CNN video about the Pentagon's possible removal of the trans-exclusionary policy. Ben discusses his new film idea called *Transgenders With Machineguns*which will be amazing and feature the GOP and ISIS on the same side. Shirt Guy talks about how his mother was in the military as a helicopter mechanic and after she had her kids she went on to do paperwork. This incredibly important digression must be written down, so we did. Next they delved into the psychology of Shirt Guy, the most fabulous man in the universe.

They then moved onto BULLSHIT QUESTIONS. The questions were so shitty that it bent time and reality, and the podcast imploded on itself, leaving on a lone banana in it's wake.

## Trivia

* TJ will fight Mike Tyson at Comic-Con.
* You don't tell Mr. Potatohead what to think.
* Scotty loves to abuse animals.
* Scotty Cena has a 10 inch cock.
* To Kill a Mockingbird and the collective works of Shakespeare are nowhere near comparable to the greatness of Eggs 2.
* Brett Keane's Christian life from his birth until his teenage years caused him to have severe erectile dysfunction.
* Brett Keane can fit 15 bibles in his ass, while Jim Ass can fit Paris Hilton in his ass.
* Sarah Avery is so fat, black men won't even have sex with her, according to Gail *"Racist"* Schuler.
* TJ likes to smoke salmon.
* Obama was raised by black panthers and plans to nuke white people... especially Michigan.
* Shirt Guy might be trans. Fabulous!
* Gay people are 1000% more likely to molest children than straight people. A thousand.

## Quotes

* *"Eggs 2 is going to change the world."* - The hosts admitting the film will initiate The Next Holocaust.
* *"And that's when Brett Keane defeated Dracula."* - Scotty
* *"Good thing Jim Ass sucks cock for all of that money."* - TJ
* *"Sarah Avery is so fat, scientists classify her as a gas giant."* - Gail Chord Schuler
* *"She's actually sucking Jesus's dick right now."* - Scotty discussing Monica's affair
* *"Just watch movies, they'll tell you what is real!"* - Ben
* *"And then Detriot will be the new capital of America."* - TJ
* *"Do you bow to your black masters?"* - TJ
* "*Do you bow to your gay masters?"* - TJ
* *"I assume everything."* - TJ
* *"I am garbage."* - Shirt Guy