Chapter 12

There is still some indecision in Akira's mind about her gender expression.

### Transition Milestones

Akira of her own free will and fashion decision, wears a pretty dress out in public, at least in the hospital were all the staff and visitors can see her. Grandma sees, too !

### Relationship Evolution

Akira confesses to Nurse Okabe that being around Rumi, and being her intimate friend, is a lot of fun !

### Lessons Learned

Akira is learning to have the courage to select and defend her own fashion choices, despite what Mom, or others, say or do.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE ( UNTIL I BECOME ME )

CHAPTER 12 OF THE STORY (Revised English Translation)

(Chapter Note---MANGA AND DOUJIN VERSIONS ARE COMBINED INTO THIS CHAPTER'S STORY)

## Previously

Akira, Mom. and Grandmother have been living together at grandmother's house for quite some time now. Mom works to support the group, grandmother is probably retired and drawing a pension, and Akira attends school. She is in the fifth grade. The daily routine has gone reasonably well, that is, until grandma fell and broke her leg. She was taken to the hospital, where she has been admitted, for emergency care, to await surgery, and for physical therapy after the surgery. Mom still has to work, so arrangements have been made for the times that she works all night. On those nights, Akira gets to stay with the Watai family, specifically with Rumi Watai, her personal intimate friend and companion. Akira enjoys such sleepovers, but sometimes becomes distressed with all the things happening to her recently. Rumi is always there to comfort and encourage her, as everyone awaits to see what will happen to grandmother.

## This Chapter's Story

Chapter 12---According to the MANGA combined version---

Still in bed in Rumi's bedroom, Akira's mind will just not shut down and go to sleep ! She is by herself now, with Rumi fast asleep below her in the bunk beds.

Thinking to herself, " Mom / Grandmother / Dad / Teachers / People from the hospital.........there's something that I've got to tell you, but I don't have the courage to do it alone........ "

Next morning finds Akira in Michiru's bedroom, having her hair put up into braids. Michiru comments, " So that is why you asked Rumi to give you courage ? " Akira is telling Michiru that she, Akira, has so many important things to tell so many people in her life, but she can't bring herself to do so. Akira continues, that if Rumi would braid her hair, it is like she is with her all the time that her hair is up. " But Rumi can't braid hair! ", snickers Michiru. Rumi is nearby, but fuming because, although she does not know how to braid hair, she can do a mean twin tails!

" All done! " Akira thanks Mitsuru for her help and concern. Just then the doorbell rings. It's Akira's Mom, come to pick her up.

Now in the van, Mom wants to know if Rumi-chan braided her hair ? No, her older sister did. Mom offers to untie the braids [WTF?]. Akira says that she is fine with the braids. This triggers Akira's mind to begin silently screaming at Mom, to some day break down and actually say to Mom---

" I want to go to the *same school as Rumi-chan* !!! "

" I am fine with *wearing a girl's school uniform* !!! "

" I want to *be together with Rumi* ........ !!! "

" Just say it! *SAY IT!!!* **SAY IT NOW !!!!!!! "** , screams inside her mind over and over . . . . . . .

***" UM ! " ,*** is all that comes out of Akira's mouth. " What? ", inquires Mom. The two of them are now inside grandmother's hospital room. However, Akira is now in a cold sweat, and silently restraining herself from shaking all over. Subsequently, she tells them that she needs to go to the ladies room. This she does. While washing her hands, her mind screams again---

" AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'm such a coward ! Despite going so far as asking Rumi and Michiru for moral support . . . . . . . . !?!?! "

As Akira bursts out of the restroom, she startles another woman walking past the door. It's Nurse Okabe ! She tells Akira that you startled me ! Nurse Okabe composes herself by stating that she sees that Akira is just visiting, and that she, the nurse, has to go now. Akira thinks to herself, " Please don't go ....*.Please !* " Akira grabs onto the nurse's arm as she goes by, telling her to wait. Now holding onto the nurse for dear life, a whole slue of comments and concerns come pouring out of a very distraught Akira---

" My bangs . . . . . I like them . . . . . Um . . . . . so . . . . . Back when you complimented my new haircut it made me really . . . . . . HAPPY! . . . . . .Um . . . . . . and last time you praised my ponytail . . . . . . . um . . . . . . . my friend was the one who tied the ponytail . . . . . . . . and this braid was done by her older sister. . . . . . . . The thing is I don't know how to do it myself, so . . . . . . . Please teach ***me*** ( lit. *Ore* {masculine}) . . . . . . . . ***ME*** ( lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) . . . . . . . . . Show me how to braid my hair . . . . . . . sorry, I'm being hasty . . . . . . . Ah, your working . . . . . . . I'm just babbling about weird stuff . . . . . . . . ( Akira is now beet red with embarrassment and ready to burst into tears ).

Somehow, Akira has touched Nurse Okabe's heart. The nurse tells Akira that it's not weird ....... not weird at all ! Nurse Okabe takes Akira's hands into her own hands, and with both females holding hands, the cheeks of the both of them turn bright red with embarrassment.

ONE WEEK LATER---

Grandmother's surgery went well. Grandma is now in the rehabilitation stage. On this day, Akira and Mom are at the hospital, onlooking as grandma is trying to walk on a handrailed treadmill, as an orderly looks on. Sometime during the laborious long physical therapy sessions, Akira slips away to the nurses' lounge and workstation. There, she meets up with Nurse Okabe. The nurse has Akira sit at a small table, and with the nurse sitting next to her, patiently explaining to Akira how to braid her own hair. Thankfully, Akira is a quick learner, however, she begins to doubt her abilities. Finally, it's all done. Moping at the table, she says that she can't remember it all. The nurse reassures her that what she did by herself is good enough for now. Seeing her opportunity to motivate and hopefully encourage Akira, the nurse asks her a probing, very personal question---

" As it stands, do you really want to remain a girl ? "

After thinking for a few moments, Akira gives her honest answer, " Uh .......... I don't know .......... I've had some trouble getting along with boys in the past. "

" I see ", intones the nurse.

Akira continues, " So ........ and now I'm having a lot of fun with Rumi ........ ah, she's my best friend ............. "

" I get you. You can take your time to decide! It's okay. ", assures the nurse as she pats Akira on the head.

" Yeah ", squeaks out Akira.

" Do you want me to tell your doctor that you want to go to the same school as your friend ? "

" NO! I want to say it myself. ", proclaims Akira.

In a while, Akira departs from the nurses' station, and returns to the room where grandma was. But she is gone, transferred to another room for more physical therapy. However, Dr. Kubota is in the room, and tells Akira where grandma went. Then the doctor rummages in her shoulder bag, as she explains to Akira that she bought something for her niece that turned out not to fit her. So she brought it here to see if maybe you could try it on ? Here it is! Dr. Kubota pulls out a very pretty, plaid patterned, long sleeved, peter pan collared, form fitted dress. What do you think ? Akira becomes completely mesmerized, with her eyes growing wide and expressive, sparkling like fireflys at midnight, and her mouth dropping open in awe.

" What do you think ? Do you like it ? "

At that moment, Nurse Okabe comes through the open door. Akira, her eyes affixed on the dress, only whispers an " Um. " However, the nurse answers for Akira---" She'll wear it ! Now, in fact ! Right ? "

Akira can only manage a confused, " Huh ? "

Nurse Okabe seals the deal by saying, " This is a great opportunity, so you should totally wear it ! Don't worry, you can use the nurses' locker room ! "

" OKAY ", Akira says on a positive note.

Akira is lead to the locker room and ushered into a private dressing booth. She undresses down to her bra and panties. She then pauses for a moment as a deep realization hits her like a bag of cement. She gathers the dress into her outstretched hands, lovingly holding it up and looking at the unfolded, full-length dress in front of her. " I've never put on this kind of dress before . . . . . . . . . before, when I wore a dress at Rumi's house, or when I went bra shopping, it was because others made me do it. This time . . . . . . . . I'm doing this because ***I'm choosing to do so . . . . . . . . !!!!!!!***

Ever so slowly and shyly, the door to the changing booth opens, as Akira peeks out of the barely open door. Nurse Okabe is patiently waiting for her. Suddenly, the nurse bursts out with a **"WOW !!!"** Akira is standing a little ways away from the door, saying nothing, red with embarrassment, and looking like 'a deer in the headlights' !

" It looks good on you. ", comments Nurse Okabe. Akira breaks out into making excited, soft, endearing 'girly noises' !

" no ", she whispers.

" It looks *really good on you*, Akira-chan !!! ", belts out Nurse Okabe.

" no way ....... um ......... thanks, Okabe-san, I owe it all to you .......... ***I*** ( lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) .........." , Akira quietly squeaks out the response.

" WERE NOT DONE YET! " , implores the nurse, " It would be a waste *not* to walk around like this ! "

" WHAT ?!?!?! "

" We've come this far! I think you should practice walking in a dress! " , recommends the nurse, leading Akira out into the busy hallway.

Thoughts begin to race through Akira's electrically-charged, do or die trying, ecstasy-soaked mind---

Akira takes her first few steps down the hallway. " I'm **really doing it** . . . . . . . . I'm glad that I told Okabe-san ( Akira respectfully bows to a mother and daughter sitting on a bench ) . . . . . . . The nurse helped talk me into wearing this pretty dress . . . . . . . and that little girl (her name is Miu Goto {see Chapter 17}) is saying that the dress is so cute, and that she wishes she could wear that kind of dress! " ! ( Nurse Okabe stops and gives Akira a big, wide smile! ) The little girl did not say that I looked weird !

In response to the smile, Akira herself unabashedly smiles, and twirls around and around in the dress, causing the hemline of the dress to pull upward and outward above her knees, thereby exposing and showing off Akira's shapely bare thighs and legs !

**" AKIRA ! "** , a stern, accusative voice comes to her from behind. It's grandma's voice, shouting from a wheelchair. " What's with those clothes . . . . . . . ?????? "

Akira instantly freezes up, as a cold chill and a look of horror instantly possesses her face . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

Akira has today passed two major and important milestones in her transformation to that of a typical teen/tween girl. First, she has firmly decided that she wants to attend the same school that Rumi-chan attends. Given that the school requires that the female students wear the girls' school uniform, usually consisting of a sailor suit with a pleated mini-skirt, or a shirt/vest combination with a plaid, pleated mini-skirt, Akira has also decided that she will wear the girls' school uniform every school day, no questions asked. Second, when she was in the dressing room at the hospital, she acknowledged and accepted an important principal in her evolution from a male bully, to that of a contented tween girl. She told herself, paraphrased, that she is deciding here and now, of her own free will, that she will wear the universally recognized outfit that is customarily found only on females, namely, a pretty dress. As soon as she steps out of the dressing room, and into the hallway, she tells herself that she will accept the responsibility of what people will think of her when they see her wearing a pretty dress---namely, a cute, pretty tween girl !

## What Manga Fans Are Saying About This Chapter

**Yukipho / 1 month ago**

I can see and tell how she [Rumi-chan] cares a lot about A-chan.

**cezyou / 3 months ago**

I never understood the dress go spinny thing myself...

**Enaero / 3 months ago**

Dress go ~~spinny~~ twirly indeed, seeing the euphoria on Akira's face is so heartwarming. As others mentioned, Okabe's support is incredible and just what she needs right now. Here's hoping grandma and mom are both supportive too, once they're clued in.

**7kyoko / 3 months ago**

nice

**Basil D / 3 months ago**

This series makes me want to cry sometimes, thank you so much Okabe.

**Smileyguy / 3 months ago**

Okabe-san, the nurse we don't deserve, but the one that we need <3

**imhikarucat / 3 months ago**

I think Okabe san is one of the most important characters that will shape how Akira will become.

**kyrex / 3 months ago**

Best Nurse. 10/10

**NinjaGoemon / 3 months ago**

[Dress] go spinny and so do you!

**Yari-Kachi / 3 months ago**

This nurse is so motherly.

**dokidoki / 3 months ago**

She looks amazing in that dress, and can I say BEST NURSE!!! This chapter [is] too good!!!

**930310 / 3 months ago**

You go, girl!!!

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(Click on Chapter 13 to be taken to the next chapter.)

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