Episode 6: "Downtime Dumpster Fire"

With some much needed downtime, The Animal House spend some time in Hawk's Point, but things will be far from quiet.

## Synopsis.

### **Dawn of a New Day.**

Having spent the last few days battling Redbrands, The Thessalhydra, and The Demogorgon, The Animal House decided to take some much needed downtime in Hawk’s Point.

Each of the members of The Animal House set off on their own errands;

Sythia visited the local blacksmith, run by an Aetherborn and asked to use their forge to which they happily obligded. Using the tool provided, Sythia disassembled and rebuilt both a hand crossbow and musket for Spoons and Detective Frog respectively, and took some time to draw up plans for armor for Clifford.

Colby-Bo went to the Post Office to send a letter to The Hootmother to check in and let her know he is okay. After sending his letter off, he received a copy of the morning’s paper which featured an article from Mr Skip Oslo about the antics of The Animal House in Hawk’s Point to which he quickly wanted to send to The Hootmother as well.

Meanwhile, back in The Burrow, a very irate Detective Frog was fuming to Davyd, whi was studying the relic from The Maelstrom, regarding the unfortunate noun use which unknowingly revealed his identity.

Bea used her time to send off a paper bird back home to her mother and relax a bit.

Chestnut and Spoons set off for a bit of shopping, with Chestnut picking up a book regarding acquring a Paramedic’s license while Spoons went to Ember’s Grace, meeting the titular Ember, a Fire Genasi, who measured him for a new outfit and set him up with some trick crossbow bolts.

### **Kobold Kart Kerfuffle.**

Reuniting, the group’s peace was interrupted by the sound of a crashing cart outside. Arriving on the scene, the party found an overturned cart, spilled books, and three stressed out Kobolds who were trying to clean up. Helping these boys out, they introduced themselves as White Claw, Meepo, and Cinder, founders and owners of the “Kobold Soul Library” on the continent of Himlinde to the west. They were here in Murka looking to get rid of some of their stock while finding new fancy books to fill their shelves with.

Perusing the books available, several members of The Animal House snagged whatever caught their eye. Davyd grabbed a book about Jeffar Bayzohz and his company, Azamon, along with “Tusk Love”, some smut. His attempt to be sneaky in taking this smut was sadly not as subtle as he had hoped, as several party members saw him. Most notably, Colby-Bo. Spoons acquired a book on how to pull teeth to torture people, written by a Ruthan, adapted from not only a training manual, but also his own experience. Sythia discovered “Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions” which Detective Frog recognized as one of the missing tomes he has been assigned to locate.

### **A Book By It’s Cover, Part 1.**

Deciding to cross-reference “Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions” with the book already in Detective Frog’s possession; “The Joy of Extra-Dimensional Spaces”, there are a few differences. “Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions” seems to be more of a journal, haphazardly stitched together as Mazfroth added more and more to his book, while “The Joy of Extra-Dimensional Spaces” is a heavy, ornate tome featuring the image of legendary mage, Mordenkainen and contains the details of Fistandia’s permanent mansion she created to reside in during her time at The Amber Archive.

Realizing that Fistandia had written the command word to enter her mansion, Detective Frog utter the word “Scepter”, causing a pair of shimmering doors to appear in the room, but not for long.

With something new to do, The Animal House walked through the doors, arriving in the foyer of Fistandia’s Mansion, a permanent Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion spell surrounded by a swirling indigo miasma. Realizing that the way out was another command word hidden among the hundreds of books, the party set off to explore the mansion. Discovering a cat sleeping on the chair which woke up at their arrival, Bea spoke with it and found out it’s name was Tabasco. Tobasco explained that there are plenty of books across the mighty mansion, and that Fistantia hasn’t been home in quite a while.

Exploring the mansion, our party came across two Homunculi; Cumin and Corriander who were over the moon with having actual guests to cook and wait on. They’ve been responsible with looking after the several cats and Fairy Dragons who lived in the Mansion while Fistandia has been away. They mentioned another man has been here recently, but they hadn’t seen him in a bit. Detective Frog and Davyd solved part of the mystery however. Since Homunculi die when their master does, it was a guarantee that Fistandia was indeed still alive, abet still missing.

Heading upstairs, while looking for the books, Colby-Bo opened the door to the Observatory to find the body of the man who the Homunculi spoke of. Looking closer, the man was stone cold and had died several hours ago and was surrounded by his journal which had a hastily scrawled entry along with vials of raw ingredients and empty potion bottles which Colby deduced to be both a massive amount of caffeine and powerful sedatives, meant to put the user in a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sythia and Chestnut arrived on the scene shortly after and using their combined knowledge, determined the cause of death was via the brutal slashes across his body and the punctures through his chest.

### **The Giggle Gang.**

Meanwhile, back on the ground floor, Bea and Spoons, joined by Colby-Bo were in the process of being harassed by an invisible creature, giggling constantly, which only shut up after Spoons drew his crossbow.

When the rest of the group joined, Chestnut spoke in Sylvan to the creatures which indeed were the two Fairie Dragons who had been hiding invisible in the greenhouse, giggling at our heroes. The duo dropped down and continued joking with The Animal House, with Chestnut falling prey to “Ligma” and “Sugma” much to their enjoyment.

Having collected 6 out of the 7 needed puzzle books, Colby-Bo deduced that the command word was “Liberty” and the party decided that they’d had enough of the Fairie Dragons for one day so with a few last giggles, The Animal House left the dragons and headed back to the front doors where the command word was spoken, allowing The Animal House to get back home, now with one mystery solved.

### **r/Let’sNotMeet.**

Nearing mid-evening, Spoons requested that they do one last thing before turning in. He saw a personal ad in the paper this morning that had said “Lovers of Pisswater and Academics” to meet at the clock tower. Spoons, who had collected the recipe for Pisswater the day prior, had the hunch this might be a secret Redbrand meetup and wanted to check it out.

Arriving at the clock tower, the group was approached by a fat, unbathed, and unkept Gnome wearing a black leather trenchcoat and fedora who made very creepy conversation with the group, calling himself a “Student of the Ninjitsu”, asking if they’ve had “true” Pisswater and what part of The Hootmother Colby-Bo’s helmet feather was from. After being reprimanded by Sythia, the Gnome began to rant that women like her “Don’t pay attention to nice guys.” And after Davyd threatened him, retaliated by exclaiming that “Inside him was a wolf” and began performing jutsu, which Davyd shut down quickly, freezing his hands and causing him to piss himself and run away in fear.

Thoroughly creeped out, the party went back inside to go to bed to get a fresh start on leaving Hawk’s Point.

### **Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This?**

Unfortunately, things for Colby-Bo would not be as peaceful as during his slumber, woke up in a mysterious foggy underground crypt where he heard footsteps approaching, leading to a large, clawed hand curling around the corner…

## Featured Characters.

### **Player Characters.**

* Bea
* Sythia
* Davyd
* Detective Frog
* Colby Bo
* Chestnut
* Spoons

## Trivia.

* This is one of many sessions to come where The Watcher displays terrible time-management skills and falsely accused Cotton of being "Captain Boy."
* This is the second mention of Paladis in this campaign.
* Cotton, while not legally "Captain Boy," was the last to join the session. The Watcher and all in The Nexus extend a formal apology to those harmed by this libel.
* This episode contained the largest amount of smut so far.
* This is the first mention of Jeffar Bayzohz and Azamon in this campaign.
* This episode is the first appearance of campaign crossover in this campaign with the events of "Crater Comforts" from The Adventurer's League being mentioned in the newspaper. This is the second appearance of campaign crossover however, with The Adventurer's League having read the events of "Welcome to The Animal House."