Jesus Walks

**Jesus Walks** is the twenty third episode of season three of *The Cleveland Show*. It is the seventy fifth episode, overall.

## Synopsis

Junior falls in love with a Christian girl and defies his Atheism to get with her. Meanwhile, Cleveland suspects that Donna is cheating on him.

## Plot

When Donna greets Cleveland after a day of work with a fancy dinner, the guys tell him that it's a sign that she is cheating on him. At church, Cleveland is suspicious while Junior is annoyed with the sermon. But when choir girl Vanessa catches Cleveland Jr.'s eye. She talks him into joining the church choir himself. Cleveland heads off to leave Donna alone to spy on her and see what she is up to. He spots her skulking around and believes he has caught her. But when he confronts her, she admits an old friend Maurice has returned from Iraq and she was writing him. Cleveland decides to confront Maurice but discovers he is paralyzed. Taking Maurice out for a drink with the guys, he asks Donna to be his best man at the wedding with Donna and Donna is forced to tell the truth about her marriage to Cleveland. Donna offers to let Maurice stay but he leaves in tears. To cheer him up and to keep him from wrecking the house to make it handicap accessible, they suggest a parade. During the parade, a sour Maurice provokes Cleveland into fighting him. Everyone is shocked when Cleveland decks Maurice, but Maurice reveals it's the first time since returning home that he wasn't treated with pity and leaves happy.

Meanwhile, another choir member Hunter faces off with Jr., having intentions for Vanessa himself. He revels that he is aware that Cleveland belongs to the school Atheist club, but Junior also discovers that Hunter is Jewish. But on a church trip the truth is revealed that neither Hunter or Junior are Christian, Vanessa becomes sexually attracted to their misdeed, frightening the two with her aggressiveness. At the camp, Vanessa continues, suggesting they slip away together. Deciding to flip a coin to see who will sacrifice themselves for Vanessa, Cleveland loses. Going to Vanessa, Cleveland starts to pray without luck. As Junior and Vanessa start to kiss, a fire set by Hunter interrupts them. Vanessa vows to try again but the boys put her off, claiming they have more volunteer work rebuilding the house, leaving a disappointed Vanessa who thought they were cool.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Cleveland Brown
* Donna Tubbs-Brown
* Cleveland Junior
* Vanessa
* Hunter
* Maurice

### Minor Roles

* Roberta Tubbs
* Rallo Tubbs
* Tim the Bear
* Lester Krinklesac
* Holt Richter
* Reverend Jenkins
* Mrs. Gargalo
* Mayor Larry Box
* Larry the Leopard
* Arianna the Bear (Cameo)
* Raymond the Bear (Cameo)
* Jesus Christ (As a Talking Statue)
* Roger Smith (Pictured)
* Cecilia Moreno (Mentioned)
* Robert Jones (Mentioned)

## Quotes

**Cleveland**: Why are you sweating like a whore in church?
**Donna**: Shh! Don't say "whore" in church!

**Junior**: Is he gunna talk all day? This is why I'm an Atheist.
**Rallo**: Here comes the lightning!

**Hunter**: As a member of the church choir admission team, I can tell you it's not always easy being a Christian teenager. Just look at our culture. Lady Gaga? Where's Lady God God? Justin Bieber? How about Jesus Believer? FaceBook, uh, no thank you, I'll take The Good Book.

**Junior**: Is he fucking kidding with this?
**Donna**: Don't say "fuck" in church!

**Junior**: Well, I'm off to sing about Jesus and crap.
**Rallo**: Have you finally been enlightened?
**Junior**: No. I just like this girl at the church and I'm trying to get close to her.
**Roberta**: You've got a crush on a girl? Junior, that's cheating on Cecelia.
**Junior**: Cecelia's not my girlfriend. I only legally married her to green card her family into America.
**Roberta**: Oh, I see. She's your wife. Not your girlfriend.
**Rallo**: And if our dad taught us anything, that is fair game.

**Donna**: Kids, you're going to the movies. No Travolta.

**Donna**: Cleveland! Wha ... What are you doing here!?
**Cleveland**: Well, I'm not cheating on my husband in the house where he pays a third of the mortgage, *that's* for sure!

**Donna**: Before you came back to town, I dated a guy named Maurice. We went out a couple of times and then he was shipped off to Iraq.
**Cleveland**: The war one?
**Donna**: Yes. He wrote me letters and I wrote him back. You should've heard some of the things he told me. I don't care what they say on the news. Iraq sounds really unpleasant.

**Vanessa**: You sounded really good today, Junior.
**Junior**: Thanks, Vanessa. So did you. I really liked your solo about abortion. You sounded just like a sad fetus.

**Hunter**: So, Junior. I haven't seen you at church before.
**Junior**: Uh, no. My parents home-church me.
**Hunter**: Well played.

**Junior**: Why would a fifteen-year-old boy have a bobby pin in his thick, curly, Mark Feurerstein-like hair? This bobby pin wouldn't be for a ... yarmulke! *[pronouncing it: "Yarr-Mull-Kay"]*
**Hunter**: It's yarmulke! *[prounouncing it: "Yah-Muh-Kuh"]*
**Junior**: Aha!
**Hunter**: Okay, fine. I'm Jewish. So what!?

**Vanessa**: Get ready, boys, because when I'm done with you, you will both. See. God!

**Lester**: Maurice, let me just say that I appreciate your service more than these other guys because I am a republican and while cowardness has prevented me from serving, I will shamelessly behave as if your sacrifice is my own.

**Tim**: Wow. I am so embarrassed. I've been calling Cleveson "Cleveland" for years!
**Lester**: I didn't know he was married to his sister. I approve.

**Maurice**: Donna, will you marry me?
**Donna**: *[shocked]* AAAH! HOLY BALLS!

*[Maurice helplessly scoots himself through the door, in his fallen wheelchair]*
**Cleveland**: He would be awful at murderball.

**Rallo**: I would like to go on record and say you have made every wrong choice imaginable in this situation.

**Junior**: Please be dead. Please be dead. Please be dead.

**Junior**: *[thought]* Um, God? I know I've said for years that I don't believe in you, but if anyone's used to dealing with hypocrites, it would be you, right?

**Mrs. Gargalo**: So, let me get this straight. Before that building caught fire, you boys were planning to have sex with a girl in there!?
**Junior**: Yep.
**Hunter**: That's the four-one-one.
**Mrs. Gargalo**: Well, then it's obvious what happened! God smote you delinquents for sinning in a place of *charity*!
**Junior**: Whoops.
**Hunter**: My bad.
**Mrs. Gargalo**: Now unless you wanna insult God, even more, tonight, me and my homosexual lover would like to get back to bed!

**Vanessa**: I thought you guys were cool.
**Junior**: Yeah? Well I know another carpenter who was pretty cool. He gave of himself to those in need. His name was Ty Pennington.
**Hunter**: And he's a virgin too.

**Mayor Larry Box**: Welcome, cocksuckers, to the very first annual Parade of Heroes! Sponsored by those patriotic n\*\*\*ers, Cleveland Brown and Donna Tubbs-Brown.

**Rallo**: I never understood parades. It's just a bunch of people, standing around, cheering for traffic. Should I Tweet that?
**Roberta**: Why not? You've only got 4 followers.

**Mayor Larry Box**: Holy, shit! Here comes our guest of honor, Maurice! Pay attention, dildo-crackers!

**Mayor Larry Box**: Hello, Maurice. Good to finally fucking meet you. Now, I believe that cunt was trying to shake your hand?
**Maurice**: I know.
**Donna**: Maurice, we're just trying to say we're sorry.
**Maurice**: Sorry? We're long past sorry!
**Donna**: What else do you want us to do?
**Maurice**: I want you to *suffer*! You're both awful people.
**Cleveland**: We only lied to spare your feelings and we apologize!
**Mayor Larry Box**: Um, what the fuck is going on? Did I miss some shit?
**Maurice**: Stay out of this, n\*\*\*a!
**Mayor Larry Box**: Oh, shit! Okay!

**Cleveland**: We know you might still be mad, so either forgive us or don't, but stop being a dick!
**Maurice**: Well, if that's the way you feel, then why don't you do something about it? *[pushes Cleveland]*
**Cleveland**: Stop it!
**Maurice**: Make me stop. *[repeatedly punches Cleveland]* Come on, you just gunna stand there and let me hit you? Hit me back! Come on! You lying pansy! Hit me!
*[Cleveland finally snaps and punches Maurice out of his wheelchair; Everybody gasps]*
**Mayor Larry Box**: HOLY, FUCK! THAT DICKHEAD JUST PUNCHED A TITTYMILKING WHEELCHAIR GUY!

**Mayor Larry Box**: Uh, not sure what that bullshit was all about, but ... fuck it. Let's get a picture, bitches!
## Songs

* MySpace is with Jesus
* I Want To Go All the Way With You, My Lord
* Vanessa

## Trivia

* Hunter discovers that Jr. is the sole member of the Atheists club at school, But in "The Hurricane", Jr. adamantly denied being an Atheist, comparing it to a religion itself.
* Cleveland tells Donna that they built their home with their love, despite the fact that Donna built the house on her own and Cleveland didn't even know about its existence until after he moved in.
* Rallo and Roberta insist that Robert used to cheat on Donna, due to his warped idealism, suggesting that although it's wrong to cheat on girlfriends, it's okay to cheat on wives.
* Cleveland pays a third of the mortgage for his house.
* Rallo has 4 followers on Twitter.

### Cultural References

* Reverend Jenkins preaches a bunch of stuff from *Pinnochio*.
* One of the visuals seen during the "Tweet with Jesus" musical number spoofs the popular mobile game, "*Angry Birds*", with a cross replacing the birds and slingshot and the Devil replacing the pigs.
* Roger Smith from *American Dad!* appears on the stained glass window in church.
* Junior takes a "Hunny" jar to church camp with him. This is a reference to *Winnie-the-Pooh*.
* Houses for Humans is a pun on either *Homes for Heroes* or *Habitat for Humanity*.

### Continuity

* Donna sets up a table and chairs for Cleveland in the same way as Cleveland did for her on their first wedding anniversary in "Cleveland Live!".
* Junior's Atheism from "The Hurricane" is referenced again.
* Roberta inquires about Junior's girlfriend, Cecelia from "Y Tu Junior Tambien".
* The "Remarried Black Man" magazine from "Mama Drama" is seen in the cupboard, when Donna puts the puzzle box away.