Allegro As-Saye

**"Tonight we have to avoid completion of things, like, y'know ..." - Pen**
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"**Allegro As-Saye**" is a new episode of Pencil 2.O, and until recently, there has been neither number nor date associated. In this episode, the Schreibers join a family-themed game show, while Saye must pass an elite school entrance exam (as announced on the recent blog post)

## Wednesday, September 25, 2013

### **Living room**

**Scene**The end of a lengthy school day. Pencil is cleaning the table whilst humming.
* **P****e****nci****l**: ♫ La la la... ding dang dong... this is me public domain 'ummin' song. ♫

[*The older kids,* **Saye** *and* **Sio**, *return home, except for Javier, who is at the library. Saye is excited for some reason.*]

* **S****a****y****e**: Mum, Mum, Mum!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot, wot, wot?
* **S****a****y****e**: I have some big news.
* **P****e****nci****l**: This'd better not be h'another meetin'.
* **S****a****y****e**: No, it's better! I—
* **S****io**: Saye might be accepted into the ASSAI Academy after her friend was!
* **S****a****y****e**: Aye, that's about what I was going to say. Go to your room!

[*Exit* **Sio**, *laughing.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Oi, oi, wait a second, wait a secon'!
* **S****a****y****e**: Yeah, Mum?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Can someone tell me wot'n'ale this ASSAI H'academy's to be?
* **S****a****y****e**: It's this really fancy private school in Nairobi Heights!
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*interested*] Ah, Nairobi 'Eights? 'A'e they got links ter any Catholic churches?
* **S****a****y****e**: Wait, aren't we Jewish?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Depends on whether I am.
* **S****a****y****e**: Oh, I see. Huh? Anyway, I have no idea what goes on in that school, but I want in.
* **P****e****nci****l**: We'll 'a'e to see h'until yer father comes 'ome.
* **S****a****y****e**: Where is he, anyway? He has no job!

[*Enter* **Pen**, *who opens the door at the perfect time. He is carrying a stack of papers.*]

* **P****en**: Daddy's home!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Don' e'er use those words around anybody, e'er!
* **P****en**: Hey, babe. [*He and Pencil kiss.*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot's all those papers fer?
* **P****en**: Y'know—
* **S****a****y****e**: Dad, Dad, I've just become interested in applying to ASSAI!
* **P****en**: That's interesting—Kids, come over here, with dispatch!

[*All of the other children enter the room. A. R. I.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: Yeah?
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: What goes on, father?
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: What's with the papers; they make you look like you're employed.
* **P****en**: You small ladies and gentlemen, I have just signed all eleven of us up to the greatest game show in Kenyan history, *Clash of Sects*!
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: *Clash of Sects* is the greatest show ever!
* **P****e****nci****l**: An' a double entendre on top o' thet.

[*Everyone is excited and speaks at once.*]

* **S****a****y****e**: [*trying to shout over the other voices*] Omg, it is possibly one of the most expensive private schools in the country—and that is because literally no one in my classes have heard about that, trust me; I've asked around the whole wide world because I was voted *MISS CONGENIALITY!*
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oi, oi, *wait a secon'!*

[*Everyone goes silent.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: I thought we'd a distrust fer bein' on bad television. Remember *BFDI*, h'anyone?
* **C****i****t****lali**: You mean that ray of sunshine, which might as well be the only reason I have a role in the popularity opera that is school?
* **P****en**: But this is different! We won't be playing people who we're not; we'll be ourselves! And you love watching *Clash of Sects* when we do the thing with the sugar.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, h'I suppose... oh h'o h'o, y'know 'ow much I do love thet sugar.

[*Everyone goes silent again.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot'r'ee lookin' at? Scram, y'lot!

[*Exeunt omnes, running in different directions—Saye sulks and walks to her room slowly.*]

### **Girls' room**

**Scene**Saye sighs and lies in her bed.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Aw, what's wrong?
* **S****a****y****e**: Oh bother, it's not like it's about you.
* **X****i****men****a**: Have you got a crush?

[*Saye says nothing.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: She has a crush.

[*Ximena and Yaretzi squeal in excitement.*]

* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Is he an... older guy?
* **X****i****men****a**: Or is he young, but, like, *so* smart?
* **Z****o****rah**: I bet he's one of those magical people who study at ASSAI.

[*Saye gets up.*]

* **S****a****y****e**: Oi, what've you just said about ASSAI?
* **Z****o****rah**: I've been selling some mixes I got on the Internet, and a lot of customers come from ASSAI.
* **S****a****y****e**: Really? Are they my age? Because I've got a friend—
* **Z****o****rah**: Oh, they're all interesting people. I can't say any more about it, though, or else the robots are going to kick me out of the website again.
* **S****a****y****e**: Ora, that's just one of Sio's stupid inventions. There's no way your mobile phones have got a chance of *ever* listening to you, right?

[*Silence.*]

* **Z****o****rah**: Whatever.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: What *is* going on, anyway?
* **S****a****y****e**: [*sigh*] I've wanted to apply to that school, but no one wants to listen to me!
* **Z****o****rah**: Oh