recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
ObjectTales: Dance, Dance, Dance!

ObjectTales: Dance, Dance Dance! is a game made for PC by Digital Praise.

## Songs

1. B-O-N-G-O
2. Belly Button
3. Big Things Too
4. Billy Joe McGuffrey
5. Boids
6. Do the Moo Shoo
7. Driving Medley
8. Endangered Love
9. Erie Canal
10. Ezekiel Saw the Wheel
11. Gated Community
12. Get on Board
13. Good Shepherd (Psalm 23)
14. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes (Do Your Ears Hang Low?)
15. His Cheeseburger
16. I Can Be Your Friend
17. I Love My Duck
18. I'm So Blue
19. John Jimmy Jingleheimer Schmidt
20. Peter Fought The Battle Of Jericho
21. Joy to the World
22. King Jesus Is All
23. Jerry's High Silk Hat
24. Love My Lips
25. Modern Major General
26. Polly Wolly Doodle
27. The Promise Land
28. Rocka My Soul
29. Salesmunz Rap
30. Schoolhouse Polka
31. Funny Song Remix Medley
32. Sport Utility Vehicle
33. Take Me Out to the Ballgame (Backyard)
34. Thankfulness Song
35. The Pizza Song
36. Dance of the Clock
37. The Green Grass Grows All Around
38. The Hairbrush Song
39. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
40. The Song of the Cebú
41. ObjectTales Theme Song
42. The Water Buffalo Song
43. The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps
44. There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea
45. This is My Commandment
46. This Little Light of Mine
47. What Do You Do (With a Tired Antique?)
48. When the Saints Go Marching In
49. While By My Sheep
50. Who Did (Swallow Luigi)
51. Zacchaeus

* Also, the songs listed are songs from Where's Neptune When I'm Terrified?-Sherclock Holmes and the Golden Ruler.

### Remarks

* When you select "While by My Sheep", it shows a picture of The Heart of Christmas, even though that song is included as a bonus feature. Also, it shows a picture ofLuigi: A ObjectTales Movie when you select "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything", but that song is not from the movie.

### Goofs

* For an unknown reason, the songs from the following episodes were removed, and the following episodes are:
	+ Neptune Wants Me to Understand Them!?!
	+ The Ball That Saved Christmas
	+ Captain Timerpants and the Goo from Planet Mars
	+ Captain Timerpants and the Ferocious Piglet
	+ Ella... The Lady Who Became Queen
	+ Vick and the Great Popcorn War
	+ Pennsylvania Watch and the Search for Samson's Hairbrush
	+ Lord of the Seeds
		- Though, it may be possible there wasn't enough room to contain the songs from those episodes.
DJ Dot Jpeg

**DJ Dot Jpeg** is a Capitalist who is a famous DJ, hence the word "DJ" in her name.

## Description

>
> dont be fooled. here we see an image of the infamous DJ Dot Jpeg. at the turn of the clowncentury, Dot was a master at the turntables, using her dexterous eyelashes 2 spin circustunes and crank musicboxes at breakneck pace. her talent was matched only by her treachery. being backstabbed, slandered or copyright-infringed by Dot’s record label, “My Name Is Dot And Thanks A Lot”, has become a rite of passage in the clown music industry. all her sets are now prerecorded playlists that she leaves on and then goes backstage to huff popcorn kernels. the public are all aware she’s a hack, but they continue to attend her concertos for bragging rights and thus keep her wildly famous and unable to quietly retire and live in peace with her wealth, loneliness and pet Circus Animal ligers. [2]
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Myss Vycyous

**Myss Vycyous** is a Marotte who teaches Jesters of the Court alongside Avaryx Cackyl-Ruffyl.

## Description

> Avaryx Cackyl-Ruffyl, matron of a prestigious cliff-side academy for aspiring Jesters of the Court, accompanied by her marotte and co-founder Myss Vycyous. the two met each other during one of Avaryx’s routine trips to the royal archives, looking for dirt on her more well-preserved rivals, where she stumbled upon the withered Myss in a previous emperor’s safe-deposit box. it was love-for-money-at-first-sight, or syght; Avaryx gave up the letter “i”’s in her name to feed the wilting, alphabet-craving marotte, who, in return, whispered the one weird trick to courting imperial favour to her new host, giving them all they needed to swindle generations of desperate Jesters out of their money and their “i”’s. students are put through gruelling year-long courses and into gruelling eon-long non-disclosure agreements before they are told the well-advertised Trick. current and former courtiers alike hate them.[2]
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## Relationships

* She is wielded by Avaryx Cackyl-Ruffyl.
Evil

**Evil** is a marotte who consumes the eyes of Bastards.

## Description

>
> posing as a limb-robbed clownyouth, the marotte called Evil delights in tailing Bastards, begging them for eyes, aww giveus a few mister, dont be stingy guv, youve got loads aintcha. when they raise their hand to curse the child, as Bastards love to do (and forgetting in their fervour the traditional lack of children in the clownrealms), Evil leaps into that hand, so as to take their eyes by force. it takes their teeth, too, if they have any on hand, out of spite. [2]
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Gerone Maresso

***“If you gotta kick ‘em in the ass, make sure to follow up with a pat on the back.”***

Priest of Kiri-Jolith and militia strategist, Gerone Maresso often looks back on his younger days as a soldier, drawing wisdom (and a dirty mouth) from his experiences. He approaches religion pragmatically, using the church as a tool to spread goodwill and bring the community together. He’s a quiet, thoughtful man, yet down to earth and empathetic. He may recognize the need to make hard choices, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. Expect his endorsement to carry weight.

## Relations

Out of the kindness of his heart, Gerone has allowed Cerpin to sleep in the church at night. In exchange, Cerpin needs to "get a job already".

Gerone is married to Navius, wood elf and priest of Rillifane Rallathil. They have a son, Esir, a quiet young man serving as a militia marksman.

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Bastard

The **Bastards** are a faction of clown. Whether born this way or created via bastardization, they are all very evil.

## Description

>
> most Bastards prefer to settle in one place and carry out all their bastardly activities within that region, but some are nomadic, focusing their capers on whoever passes by. common tactics of this brand of Bastard include asking you if you want to see a cool picture, and then showing you a printed out and framed illusion that will make your eyes itch forever, or inviting you to stay at their haunted castle and then gobbing a big spit on your shoes (the level of coherence to your average Bastard’s capers depends on the Bastard in question, and how much of a shit they can give that day). [1]
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Madame du Bloop

**Madame du Bloop** is a marotte who consumes the royal status of a clown, via consuming their royal ancestors.

## Description

>
> vicious older sister of Kitty the Heiress, Madame du Bloop. many a line of sub-royal clowns has been left ravaged by the appearance of du Bloop among the leaves of the family tree, which will be one of those funky circus trees, which are certainly real and which do exist. clutched in the grubby mitt of a young nobleclown, the family will dwindle as the parents, aunts, uncles, auncles and tutors of that youngster find their souls sucked out of the timestream and into the Madame’s lacy clutches. how many retroactive bastards (and Bastards) are left on the streets outside the royal compound, with a time-meddled frown on their faces, which no magic can wipe away? the Madame knows, but will not tell – not even to her sister, with whom she has fallen out, due to a dispute over whose method of feeding undoes the most lives. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with Kitty the Heiress.
* Her mother is The Widow.
Jiffy Nicket

Jiffy Nicket and Crumbs-A-Bumble, posing together.

**Jiffy Nicket** is a Gourmand who steals jewels.

## Description

>
> Jiffy Nicket and Crumbs-A-Bumble, a pair of jewel thieves who seek the ultimate thrill. both were born aboard a spacefaring zeppelin designed to support a modest population, secondary to its main objective of orbiting Clownworld 4 and using its advanced zero-gravity gardens to grow/mass-export the species of giant daisy that can squirt seltzer, harvested to near-extinction on most planets for its use in boutonniere gags. Jiffy was the daughter of a simple pruner/maintenance worker, while Crumbs was the child of the vessel’s captain, who lavished all his affection on the collection of lunar gems he considered his only vice. as teenaged ruffians the two of them dared each other to sample a few of Crumbs-A-Bumble Senior’s precious rocks, and decided that from then on they would eat nothing else. all lunargem-enthusiasts have since learned to fear them. throughout all their adventures, Jiffy has restrained herself from confessing her longstanding love for her partner in crime. neither of them believe in getting serious about anything and she doesnt want to betray their shared philosophy and/or cramp their styles. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is partners in crime with Crumbs-A-Bumble.
Rotsky O’Craps

**Rotsky O’Craps** is a Jester of the Court who provides food for the Clown Emperor and other royal clowns.

## Description

>
> Rotsky O’Craps, The Royal Cook. her job is to prepare the very finest delicacies, and then seal them up in airtight serving-crates and leave them in the Rotting Parlour for about a year until they are good and rotten, at which point they are slid under the flap in the Emperor’s bedchamber door, where it is assumed he eats them. she then prepares the very second-finest, third-finest, fourth-finest and so on delicacies, which are distributed to the rest of the court in order of how much the Emperor likes them. for any creature with a traditional digestive system, Rotsky’s culinary creations would be tear-inducing epiphanies of taste. but clowns only truly hunger for applause, and so Rotsky feels her talents are wasted and unappreciated, which they are.[2]
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Hellow Howareya

Hellow (top), and Howareya (bottom).

**Hellow Howareya** are a pair of Marottes who feed on applause.

## Description

>
> Hellow Howareya, a marotte double-act. like many veteran double-acts, they recently volunteered to be surgically grafted together, in an attempt to restore the flagging passion of their routine. their act consists of Hellow (funny man, top) inviting one lucky audience member up on stage to be their host. Howareya (political lesbian and professional straight man) reads their mind, reading out any embarassing or illegal memories they might have, for Hellow to react to live. the pair feed on Applause, just like clowns, which possibly explains their perceived accessibility and mainstream appeal. [2]
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Human

A **Human** is a mysterious organism native to dimensions unknown to clownkind.

Clown-human encounters are rare, but have occurred historically. The few known instances have usually "ended in screams and, later on, the consumption of clownopiates[1]".

The tallest clown possible is the size of the tallest human, but no larger[2] [3].
Clownmites

A **Clownmite** is a tiny clown that feeds on the detritus on the skin of clowns.

## Description

> common clownmite. often mistaken for flecks of glitter at a distance, these microscopic clowns are the other specialised parasites of their larger counterparts, picking their clothes clean of gemshards, scraps of balloon, errant ghosts, nonclown mites, tear stains, ink stains, blood stains, actual flecks of glitter, mud, glue, lint, spare change, spare skin, concealed weapons, concealed assassins, molecular Bastards and anything else that might grace or sully a clown’s baggy regalia. the bursts of glitter that accompany a marotte’s teleportation are actually rains of dead clownmites, who can’t feed from marottes but gamely colonise them anyway. [2]
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Pope of Tears

**The Pope of Tears** is a clown who manages the Church of Tears.

## Description

>
> The Pope of Tears. CEO of all tear factories and spiritual owner of all Tearboys. merchandising wizards often re-iterate the story of how, as a young groupie of the Lunar Clown, he accidentally curled his thumbs on a pair of hot prayer tongs, and was taken aback by the exquisite taste and revivification properties of the resulting tears. pretty much everybody knows this is a lie and that his thumbs were actually always that way. the massive discrepancies in his records and the fact that he will crumble like a clump of dry baby powder under the slightest touch indicate his advanced age. in recent clownyears he has been criticized by his board of directors for stockpiling massive amounts of Tears of Fear (much tastier and highly sought after than Tears of Sadness, or the mid-range Tears of Joy) for himself. they all assume he drinks them, but he actually bathes in them.[2]
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Aura

**Aura** is an Actor who impersonates Wisefools along with her host Migraine.

## Description

> Migraine and Aura, a drag act consisting of a Wisefool-impersonator and her upstart marotte, respectively. the pair are currently living out an extensive art-drama piece of Migraine’s devising; she plays a self-devoted, self-taught mover and shaker of the Wisefool status quo, an act informed by the years she spent as PA to the unpredictable Yarnel the Freckled, while Aura takes the role of a secretarial marotte, a sabotaging gift from Migraine’s character’s superiors, who gradually comes to respect and then to love her host. behind the masquerade, it is Migraine who is secretly besotted with her parasitic co-star; Aura is dispassionate, as marottes tend to be, and is just hanging on ‘til someone a touch richer in delicious sequins comes along. [2]
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## Relationships

* Her host is Migraine, who provides an adequate stream of sequins for consumption.
Dickie O’Large

It is unknown if this photo is of her original body or not.

**Dickie O’Large** is a clown who works as a spy.

## Description

>
> a rare photograph of Dickie O’Large, a spy of some repute. the secret to her success is her natural ability to steal bodies, accumulating knowledge and secrets as she cycles through forms, always leaving her last host a hollow shell of a clown. in situations where it would be dangerous and unprofitable to simply possess her target, she imitates someone close to them, and slowly gathers info for her masters, The Finance Ministers (who in actuality are in charge of every Ministry, including the Ministry of Weird Shit). she is their top agent, but only asks to be paid in vouchers for abstract fashion houses, and by allowing cool stories about her to stay unbanned. those who know of her existence live in fear of the possibility that she will defect. the first thing she bodysnatched was actually an unhatched clownegg, named Dickie O’Large, but she only tells this to people she sleeps with. [2]
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Slapstick

The **Slapsticks** (also known as **Security Clowns**) are a faction of clown trained highly in the art of physical humor. They are often employed in the security and defense industry.

## Description

>
> they will guard any item, place or personage indefinitely for the small fee of your first born child, plus sundry expenses. they are well versed in Physical Comedy, Practical Jokes and many other methods of humorous violence. those without a job often pretend they are guarding something to save face, applying their lead balloons to anybody with the gall to point out that they are clearly just kidding themselves. probably the children taken as payment become Slapsticks as well. [1]
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Popper

A **Popper** (or **Popperz**, plural) is a premature marotte. Their diet consists of whatever can be found inside of clowns. This is the stage of marotte life before being a dobber, and after being a topper.

## Description

>
> “Popperz”; young Marottes. at this stage, recalling perhaps some distant interdimensional common ancestor, the marotte possesses vestigial arms, which will probably drop off, along with the rest of their bodies, before they reach adulthood. they lack the seasoned subtlety of their mature counterparts, and the hard, inverted bell of a popper is employed in drilling through the porcelain crust of your average clown, exposing whatever a clown finds necessary to keep inside their body - dreams, trinkets, spare jokes - for consumption. their name is derived from the distinctive sound of their bells flapping as they escape from a vengeful clown. [1]
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Trickle

**Trickle** is a wisefool who oversees the rituals and parties of The Tricklords.

## Description

>
> you seem to have captured a rare vision of Trickle, Master of Ceremonies and Archduke of Raves for the elusive and exclusive order of the Tricklords, the most powerful of the numerous Wisefool cliques. Trickle’s role is to oversee the dark, mystical, usually homoerotic rituals that occur at the group’s annual clownwinter retreats in their leader Tricky Nicky’s secluded mountaintop Jokefortress. he also oversees the absolutely unchained parties that typically take place before and after said rituals. jealous Wisefools and gossip publications have circulated numerous rumours throughout the circusmagic community, speculating furiously on just what, exactly, goes on at Fort Trickem every clownyear. when Trickle, who is never seen in public without their necro-vaporizer that they use to vape ghosts, is asked about the nature of their role in the club and the kinds of things they see with their bare eyes, they typically reply with an enigmatic “Get away from me”. [2]
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The Papered Youth

**The Papered Youth** is a marotte who became a full clown through the magic of the Lunar Clown, and now serves as advertiser for swamp paper.

## Description

> once a marotte of unknown diet and temperament, the Papered Youth begged the late Lunar Clown to grant them the body of a clown, which they had long yearned for at arm’s length. in a flash, they found themselves buried ruff-deep in a paper-marsh; a rare natural well of wet, unfertilised clownmulch. reaching for a convenient stick, the pre-Youth pulled themselves out of the marsh, revealing a freshly crinkled body; they had been reborn through the power of the mush. now they wander the moons, telling their inspirational tale and pitching the restorative power of swamp paper to clowns and marottes alike, brandishing the headless husk of their marotte form as evidence of their claims. plans for motivational speeches to be made to The Worst’s shiftless paper army appear to have fallen through. [2]
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## Relationships

* He has discussed deals with both the Lunar Clown and The Worst.
Crentleby

**Crentleby** is a clown who served Garmonbozo.

## Description

>
> Crentleby, the ever-loyal butler of Garmonbozo the Great, now referred to as Garmonbozo the Late, after he died in a freak skateboarding accident back in the early clownseventies. Crentleby has yet to realise or accept this, trapped permanently at the “denial” stage of butlerly grief. having now unwittingly outlived his master by thousands of clownyears, he still hauls his creaking joints and dusty porcelain out of bed at 5am to lay out the master’s egg and soldiers, prepare the master’s hand-towels, and feed the master’s leeches. if one is in the mood to be pampered, one need only locate the desolate mansion-skeleton maintained by Crentleby, put on Garmonbozo’s old clothes and give the butler whatever orders one wishes. he wont notice. conflicts have arisen, however, when multiple clowns have attempted to pull this stunt at the same time. [2]
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## Other Information

Although unstated, the presence of head-tendrils indicates that Crentleby is a Wisefool.
She of Snow

She of Lips (left), She of Snow (center), and She of Leaves, (right), posing together. Perhaps this photo is evidence they are not a single entity.

### Faction

Unexplainable

**She of Snow** is an Unexplainable who heralds the season of Snowtime.

## Description

>
> She of Lips, **She of Snow** and She of Leaves. while generally thought to be one clown who only changes her outfit once every few clownmonths, these three are responsible for maintaining the seasons of the Clownworlds. they dont do a very good job, often getting into squabbles about who should be next, how long each season should be, and what properties each season actually has. their usual tactic for resolving debates is to kidnap each other’s love interests. Snow is the most consistent in her theme, but Leaves is always trying to change hers, having decided upon it after smoking several ripe ghosts. Lipstime is always the hardest part of the year. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with She of Lips and She of Leaves, and in fact, the 3 of them may be the same clown.
Ghost

A **ghost** is the manifestation of a dead clown's soul, produced by a Wisefool from the deadworld.

Ghosts are channeled for many purposes. They can be channeled to be servants[1], mercenaries[2], or even companions.

## Description

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> for dead clowns to become ghosts they generally need to have a Wisefool channel them, by contract or by force (many Wisefools view the death merely as a source of unpaid interns). [3]
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Sendin

**Sendin** is a Jester of the Court and the court composer.

## Description

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> Sendin, the court composer. tends to form bitter rivalries with people who dont actually give a shit about him or being his rival. his operas and symphonies consist of jaunty melodies that might otherwise punctuate comedic beats in a childrens movie, heavy on tuba, slide-whistle and kazoo. he brags of the Clown Emperor’s fondness for his music constantly. in fact, his freaky crush on the monarch is common knowledge, to the point that it is considered cliche fodder in noble-oriented stand-up acts. he is the last surviving member of an ancient family of musical geniuses, which is a shame, because by their standards his work would have been considered extremely trite. this is his most deeply guarded secret. [2]
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Oslow Slouce

**Oslow Slouce** is a Jester of the Court who is studying under Sendin.

## Description

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> Sendin the court composer’s protege, Oslow Slouce. he became aware of her work through her previous main source of income, indie video game soundtracks. she concocts a new plot to kill and usurp her instructor every few weeks, each more needlessly elaborate than the last, but her flair for the dramatic is usually her downfall. that, and her tendency to brag loudly about her plans to everyone after just one glass of artist-quality tears. Sendin keeps her around anyway, as finding another protege at this point would be too much of a hassle. often following another murder plot gone awry she spitefully creates dubstep remixes of his operatic arias and records them to vinyl. she is dating Rasberries Rotten. [2]
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## Relationships

* He is Sendin's protege.
* He is dating Rasberries Rotten.
Jokes

**Jokes** form the bread and butter of the clown economy, and are really what clowns live for: Humor and applause. Perhaps because of their extensive use over the clownmillennia, they are quite precious and rare in the modern day. It is said there are only a handful of jokes left untold in clownhistory.

Clowns have such a refined knowledge of humor, they often think many jokes in advance. To counteract this, many avant-garde jokes are told out of order, using "time displacement, and rearranging gag order to incorporate backwards punchlines, quantum skits with variable endings", and so on [1].
Flores Waterbed

Flores Waterbed (left), holding Raffles (right).

**Flores Waterbed** is a Jester of the Court who enjoys matchmaking between clowns and marottes.

## Description

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> Flores Waterbed and his passenger and life coach Raffles, who runs a business matching quirk-seeking clowns with unemployed parasites. a debutante from a family of nouveau riche custard drillers, Flores, whose lack of amusing mutations and sweet but rough country manners made them a laughing stock at court events they were obliged to attend, hired the personal services of Raffles, who took his symmetry as a down-payment. the slanted pair became the toast of the court before almost immediately settling among the comfortable shrieking and popcorn-flinging ranks of the court’s backbenchers, which suits natural wallflower and crony Flores just fine. [2]
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The Stinkerson Sisters

From left to right: Spudella, Crooksy, Nettabayo, Harm, Lucille, Kayble and Rumbaba.

### Faction

Jester of the Court, Wisefool

**The Stinkerson Sisters** are a group of Jesters of the Court (save for Rumbaba, who is a Wisefool).

## Description

>
> the stinkerson sisters, socialites from the wealthy stinkerson family. their famously cunning and wicked mother is dying of lunar decay, a result of ingesting too many Clownmoon gems in her later years, and though she pretends to have mellowed into a harmless eccentric she has spitefully left all of her daughters nothing. they do not know this however. [2]
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Judgement

**Judgement** is a bonded marotte-unknown pair, known for consuming other marottes.

## Description

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> feared by clowns and marottes alike, the entity called Judgement is actually a long-bonded pair; an ancient clown, and their counterpart in the marotte’s mysterious home universe. the power granted by simultaneously wielding and parasitizing yourself is immeasurable, and only increased by their joint preferred food; other marottes. gripped in Judgement’s empty hand, the marotte is judged; the verdict is invariably unfavourable, and the offending marotte rendered into a energy-restoring slush by Judgement’s digestive digits. the ethical conundrum presented by this feeding method is neatly ignored by clowns, who secretly doubt their own capacity to “pass” Judgement’s judgements. [2]
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Clout von Smokes

**Clout von Smokes** is a marotte who was once active in clown government. Maybe.

## Description

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> Clout von Smokes, the only marotte to have held a seat on the lunar council. she won her constituent’s hearts with a combination of rosy-cheeked good humour, appealing but realistic campaign promises, and lots and lots of money. von Smokes had a knack for dodging the mud slung by her opponents, and for steering the unruly Council through the daily nonsenses of clownpolitik. 5 days after her appointment, inter-departmental leaks revealed that the moon she had run for election on never existed. in the end, members of her own imaginary party in the dreamrealms pressured her out of office. [2]
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Stubtype

**Stubtypes** are a faction of clown, known for their fingerless limbs and short stature. They were created by Wisefools in the unknown past.

The largest known Stubtype is 7 clownfeet tall (which is much longer than 7 normal feet). [1]

There are legends concerning the first batch of Stubtypes to be made; to this day, they wander around the clownmoons and steal from lone travelers. [2]

## Description

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> Stubtypes: clowns of a stubby nature. they can be at any level of wealth or power, but are distinguishable by their stubs. it is speculated that they descend from a species created from rare lunarflora by a long-dead Wisefool. [3]
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Crumbs-A-Bumble

Jiffy Nicket and Crumbs-A-Bumble, posing together.

**Crumbs-A-Bumble** is a Gourmand who steals jewels.

## Description

>
> Jiffy Nicket and Crumbs-A-Bumble, a pair of jewel thieves who seek the ultimate thrill. both were born aboard a spacefaring zeppelin designed to support a modest population, secondary to its main objective of orbiting Clownworld 4 and using its advanced zero-gravity gardens to grow/mass-export the species of giant daisy that can squirt seltzer, harvested to near-extinction on most planets for its use in boutonniere gags. Jiffy was the daughter of a simple pruner/maintenance worker, while Crumbs was the child of the vessel’s captain, who lavished all his affection on the collection of lunar gems he considered his only vice. as teenaged ruffians the two of them dared each other to sample a few of Crumbs-A-Bumble Senior’s precious rocks, and decided that from then on they would eat nothing else. all lunargem-enthusiasts have since learned to fear them. throughout all their adventures, Jiffy has restrained herself from confessing her longstanding love for her partner in crime. neither of them believe in getting serious about anything and she doesnt want to betray their shared philosophy and/or cramp their styles. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is partners in crime with Jiffy Nicket.
* Her father is Crumbs-A-Bumble Senior.
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Smunch

**Smunch** is a marotte who feeds on bits of picnicking clowns' food.

## Description

>
> the infamous Smunch is oft-cursed among marottes for their serial approach to symbiosis; drifting down through the atmosphere of a clownmoon in lipstime, they descend into the relaxed mitts of picnicing clowns, risking no more than a couple minute’s connection at a time, vanishing bites of clownbutter scones from under the reveller’s red noses. not for nothing is “smunch!” one of the worst and most forbidden of the secret clown swears, which range from “you could get away with saying it once in a pg-rated movie” to “muted, blocked, shadowbanned from reality” in intensity. [2]
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Tween

**Tween** is an Unexplainable who draws travelers to Bumley Wood to their deaths.

## Description

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> if i am correct this is none other than Tween, the ghostly clown who resides in the wild lands of Bumley Wood. he prances between the trees in the perma-moonlight of his little planetoid, which teleports based on where it is likely to find a victim for Tween. this whimsy-chugging buffoon-phantom delights in leading travellers astray, usually into absurdly deep ditches. every newclown fresh from the egg is taught the legend of Spritely Tween, but all seem to either forget this as soon as they enter the wood or find that he is incredibly persuasive. he likes to recite poems and songs of his own composition as he tempts his quarry from the path. they are of at least professional quality, and many of the unfortunate visitors to Bumley Wood like to write them down as they go, before they fall in the ditch. [2]
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Raffles

Flores Waterbed (left), holding Raffles (right).

**Raffles** is a marotte who is offering their services to Flores Waterbed.

## Description

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> Flores Waterbed and his passenger and life coach Raffles, who runs a business matching quirk-seeking clowns with unemployed parasites. a debutante from a family of nouveau riche custard drillers, Flores, whose lack of amusing mutations and sweet but rough country manners made them a laughing stock at court events they were obliged to attend, hired the personal services of Raffles, who took his symmetry as a down-payment. the slanted pair became the toast of the court before almost immediately settling among the comfortable shrieking and popcorn-flinging ranks of the court’s backbenchers, which suits natural wallflower and crony Flores just fine. [2]
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## Relationships

* They are wielded by the Jester of the Court Flores Waterbed.
Shaveand Ahaircut

Armand Aleg (left), and Shaveand Ahaircut (right).

**Shaveand Ahaircut** is a marotte who, quite unlike her stickmate, consumes money.

## Description

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> his stickmate and sister, Shaveand Ahaircut, on the other hand, accepts 2 clownbits (or equivalent in local currency) as her fee. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is stickmates with Armand Aleg.
* She is sisters with Armand Aleg and Honeyed Rubies.
Clown Empire

The **Clown Empire** is the region of the Clownverse under the rule of the Clown Emperor. It consists of countless clownworlds and clownmoons. The Clown Empire seems to rule over a vast majority of the Clownverse, although rebellion has occurred in the past.

Most clowns today see the Emperor to be tyrannical in many regards; despite this, most do not consider rebellion. The only known group in opposition to the Clown Empire is The Worst's paper army [1].

## Notable Events

* There was once a clownmoon outside of imperial control in which clowns and marottes lived together. [2] However, this moon fell when the Clown Emperor bribed the dead to sow discord among the two peoples. [3]
Advertencio

**Advertencio** (unofficial name) is a Big Bastard with close ties to the Lunar Council.

## Description

>
> images of this clown can be seen on just about every medium used to convey warnings, often accompanied by the text “Watch out for his ways!!!” (number of exclamation points varying). younger clowns often ask their elders what this phrase means, but all answers given are cryptic, half hearted and laced with a poignant sense of regret. they are actually all too embarrassed to tell of the time that this clown seduced every member of the Lunar Council, by appearing successively in each of their dreams. their subsequent realization and bitter possessiveness over their shared dream-lover almost resulted in a moonwar of catastrophic proportions. the clown responsible has since been banned from all dreams, but the wounds are still there, and are sprinkled with emotional lemonjuice every time its former conquests meet its gaze on a wanted poster or political cartoon. [2]
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Clownhistory

**Clownhistory** is the study of the history of clownkind, as the name implies. It's very much practiced on this website, and seldom practiced among actual clowns.

"With so many clowns recklessly shifting into different timelines or being removed from the mainstream timestream entirely, histrorical records are contradictory, [so] it takes a clown of extreme verve and pedantic dedication to pursue the career [1]", and as such, clownhistory is a demanding process. Luckily for us, being outside the stream of clowntime is a huge advantage.
The Irrepressible Gernt

**The Irrepressible Gernt**, also known as **Old Young Gernt**, is a clown who is a comedy critic.

## Description

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> The Irrepressible Gernt, a comedy critic. at one point a tongue-lashing from Old Young Gernt was considered by most clownfolk to be of greater worth than a ten star endorsement from a lesser artiste. many flocked to hear his rundowns of the latest popular joke trends and laff fare at his usual spot in the Deathgardens, usually scheduled right after public executions to lighten the atmosphere. but that was long ago now… after his disastrous debut stand-up tour his formerly lauded opinions lay disgraced, strewn on the figurative roadside, gobbed upon by any with enough spittle to muster. columnists would have it that he now spends all his time secluded in his private hot air balloon and has not felt the sweet touch of a floor under his soles in decades. [2]
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Grandma

**Grandma** is a Wisefool who is active in the clownmafia.

## Description

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> Grandma, a terrifyingly powerful ally to the clownmafia. she and recently deceased don Auntie Scars were close friends, often trading husbands and murdering each others enemies in their respective trademarked styles. she despairs at the current state of the organization without Auntie’s leadership, the once efficient and personality-based ranking system disintegrating as members invent new catergories for themselves without rhyme or reason, everybody now vying for filling duties on the massive power vaccum left by the death of their matriarch. these squabbles do not affect the old Wisefool’s standing however, and she is often called up to lay down some sage advice on this week’s new don, or to decide on a fate worse than death for last week’s new don. at least, she thinks, the work is steady, gets her out of the house and funds her prized collection of lunar gems, which she baffles everyone by wearing instead of eating. [2]
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## Relationships

* She was good friends with Auntie Scars.
Dolce

**Dolce** is a marotte who leads Sweets Incorporated by consuming the emotions of its presidents.

## Description

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> Dolce, parasitic de-facto chief of “Sweets Incorporated”, a shadowy conglomerate with bell-tipped tendrils in every pie, often literally. though banned by interlunar law from holding any form of official power, Dolce has bonded with each president in turn, transforming them over their tenures from rosy-cheeked young capitalists into bitter and withered young capitalists. Dolce feeds on feelings of kindness, charity and remorse, which, never being dominant in clowns, are swiftly slurped up into their ruched bell, never to return. [2]
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Tricko The Hateful

**Tricko The Hateful** is a Wisefool who founded the Tricklords.

## Description

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> Tricko The Hateful, original founding member of the Tricklords, a Wisefool Clique Collective of some repute (for being fuckers). back in the seventies, Good Old Bad Old T.T.H had two of its wisdom-engorged head-tendrils sliced off in its sleep, by treacherous fellow trick-mongers. the reason for this mutiny is generally agreed to be Tricko’s controversial policies on fingers, toes and other digits. it looked to ban them outright from all club-owned property, and is suspected to have had a phalangelless hand in the creation of the Stubtypes, a homegrown faction originally meant to serve as lab assistants, or possibly surrogate children. Tricko is currently on display in the club smoking room, where the current roster of Tricklords regularly meet for a glass of tears and a spirited debate about the hot new magical techniques. every evening at 6 a mysterious vapour is pumped into the cage of energy that holds their former leader, who could easily escape but is actually living its dream lifestyle. [2]
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The Ignorami

**The Ignorami** (unofficial name) are a group of three Unexplainables who aren't particularly popular.

## Description

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> rambling spirits of ignorance who make a living answering questions in a cryptic, incredibly corny manner. they are constantly trading vaudeville style quips and generally talking like assholes, and even those who seek forbidden knowledge cant be bothered to deal with them and their shtick for too long. their secret is that they once shared one, incredibly powerful body, and it hasnt really been the same since. [2]
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Cess Pitt

**Cess Pitt** is a clown in the fashion industry.

## Description

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> Cess Pitt, a clown fashion model who, while initially told he could never achieve his dreams due to not fitting conventional standards of clown beauty (his feet too petite, his eyes far too alive-looking, his nose not even moderately ripe), is now highly sought after. he famously appeared on leaked propaganda posters for a cancelled moonwar, in which he was depicted licking a bayonet-syle watergun and gesturing obscenely to the camera. when asked the secret to his uncanny lack of aging, he always cites whatever brand he is sponsoring at the time. one of Jinks Leggins most oft-quoted bits involves a possibly frivilous account of a one-night stand they had with Pitt in the early 90s. he is also credited with starting the tradition of always slipping on a banana peel at the end of the runway. [2]
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She of Lips

She of Lips (left), She of Snow (center), and She of Leaves, (right), posing together. Perhaps this photo is evidence they are not a single entity.

### Faction

Unexplainable

**She of Lips** is an Unexplainable who heralds the season of Lipstime.

## Description

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> **She of Lips**, She of Snow and She of Leaves. while generally thought to be one clown who only changes her outfit once every few clownmonths, these three are responsible for maintaining the seasons of the Clownworlds. they dont do a very good job, often getting into squabbles about who should be next, how long each season should be, and what properties each season actually has. their usual tactic for resolving debates is to kidnap each other’s love interests. Snow is the most consistent in her theme, but Leaves is always trying to change hers, having decided upon it after smoking several ripe ghosts. Lipstime is always the hardest part of the year. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with She of Snow and She of Leaves, and in fact, the 3 of them may be the same clown.
Sick Trick

**Sick Trick** is a Wisefool who is generally unpleasant.

## Description

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> Sick Trick, the most foul tempered and the sixth most powerful of the ancient Tricklords. he has recently faced harsh criticism from his peers for publishing some unsavoury and controversial tricks, as well as numerous unfounded personal accusations against members of the Wisefool community in his recent tell all autobiography. he, for one, blames his ghostwriter, and refuses to release her into death for this reason. according to the aforementioned text, his most hated things are a. trifles and b. “being trifled with”.[2]
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Kitty the Heiress

**Kitty the Heiress** is a marotte who consumes spouses and siblings-in-law.

## Description

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> Kitty the Heiress, a marotte famed for her money, and the groups of siblings-in-law that have vanished ‘neath her twisted frills. for Kitty, bonding with a host requires a marriage; her money attracts many (situational or pre-existing) marotte-romantic spouses, all of them the eldest sons or daughters or clones of ailing parents. from her position of power in the firstborn’s hand, Kitty begins to drain the essence of those further down the line of inheritance, sapping them out of history in order of age, before finally turning her powers on her spouse. now hostless, Kitty vanishes into the void between dimensions, not caring a jot for her parents-in-lawses money, for all of hers is made off the back of her prudent investments in low-key but essential clowning industries; bakers of circus-grade pies, cobblers of big shoes, and so on. rumour has it she has her unfocused eye on the Stinkerson sisters… [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with Madame du Bloop.
* Her mother is The Widow.
Honeyed Rubies

**Honeyed Rubies** is a Marotte who consumes honeyed rubies.

## Description

> Honeyed Rubies, a marotte of expensive taste, and pedantic demeanour. only the richest and least interesting clowns have laid their hands on Rubies’ unmarked stick, for he demands to be paid and fed with the finest rubies, coated with the finest honey. most clowns prefer lunar gems, and don’t need to eat, and so both components of Honeyed Rubies’ diet come off as alien. one would hope that those who are aware of such unclownish things have better things to do with them, and with their time, than feed them to a temperamental stick. and one would be right. his darkest secret is that he shared the mulch with Armand Aleg and Shaveand Ahaircut as a topper, and his pretentious diet serves to distract him from brooding about being related to them. [2]
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## Relationships

* He is brothers with Armand Aleg and Shaveand Ahaircut.
Coldbelly

**Coldbelly** is a Stubtype who invented the tear-slushie.

## Description

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> a good description of Coldbelly, stoical stubtype and inventor of Tear-Slushies, the consumable comedy craze sweeping the moons. mocked for decades for his hobby of slurping snow from the rooftops of his stubtown every clownwinter, he moved away from judgement and towards more tasty tasty snow to the icy moon X/2.9 as soon as his means allowed. there, he concluded that snow would be even better if you could get pissed off of it. he perfected his tear-based concoction within a month, and was then forced to invent the portable freezer, which took him 800 years. he debuted his nice ice as a vendor in the capital city, and his creation was acclaimed and widely imitated, to the point that is never credited to Coldbelly himself. to deal with this, he meditates, and slurps roughly a gallon of snow per clownday. [2]
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Snuffles

**Snuffles** (unofficial name) is a clown who was accursed for unknown crimes, taking the form of a snuffbox.

## Description

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> a political enemy of the previous Clown Emperor, who was much quicker to anger and way more into ironic punishments than their successor. as such, she has been combined on a clowncellular level with her most prized object, an antique novelty snuffbox. she and her ilk languish in the Hall of the Cursed, where they file complaints day and night. the current ruler of the Clownworlds doesnt really have a use for them, but keeps them around for humour value.[2]
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Faction

A **faction**, sometimes called a **class**, is a general category in which a clown falls into. This usually determines their biology, among many other things.

## Description

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> Jesters of the Court: a society of wealthy nobleclowns who perform, frolic and battle for the Emperor’s favour. distinguishable by their elaborate attire. located in the city-sized imperial palace at the frozen core of Clownworld 7.
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> Unexplainables: naturally weird. analogous to gods, demons, spirits etc.
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> Wisefools: weird through education. distinguishable by their three pronged hats. analogous to wizards, witches or doctors. divided into various subfactions, the Tricklords being the most well known.
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> Tearboys: members of the Church of Tears, a corporate empire that arose from the practices of a popular religion based on the mysterious Lunar Clown. distinguishable by their church-issued uniforms, and their tears.
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> Stubtypes: clowns of a stubby nature. they can be at any level of wealth or power, but are distinguishable by their stubs. it is speculated that they descend from a species created from rare lunarflora by a long-dead Wisefool.
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> Bastards: though some are Bastards from clownbirth, any clown can become a Bastard at any time, undergoing a lengthy and most likely painful physical transformation. no one knows why. distinguishable by their shit-eating grins.
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> Accursed: those who dwell in the Hall of The Cursed. distinguishable by having been punished ironically.
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Topper

A **Topper** (or **Topperz**, plural) is a premature marotte. They form by infiltrating the clowncycling plant and consuming the clownmulch inside. This is the stage of marotte life before being a popper.

## Description

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> “Topperz”, or freshly budded marottes. their similarity to the clownparts rendered down into eggmulch is no accident of evolution, for marottes, capable through their dimension-hopping of effortlessly infiltrating the clowncycling plant, shed their polypous underbell spawn directly into the vats mid-processing before vanishing again; the automated systems of the plant, otherwise so competent, cannot tell the difference between the ruffs of dead clowns and the wispy pre-bells of infant marottes, and so smush them all together. spooned by machines into clown eggs, the Topperz will reconstitute and consume both the fresh clownmulch and each other, before departing for parts unknown and unknowable. some marottes possess two heads or more sprouting from the same stick; these rare bodytypes occur due to Topperz reconstituting inside each other.[1]
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