Carl's Jr./Hardee's 3 with Alana Johnston

"Carl's Jr./Hardee's 3 with Alana Johnston 🔪" is Episode 137 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Carl's Jr./Hardee's 3 with Alana Johnston 🔪" was released on January 17, 2018.

## Synopsis

Canadian actress/comedian and the self-anointed "Knife" Alana Johnston 🔪 (*The Birthday Boys*, UCB) reviews her first dining experience at Mitch and Wiger's beloved Carl's Jr./Hardee's. The trio try out some murderously spicy jerky in another edition of Hot or Not.

## Nick's intro

If you're going to credit one person, the modern chain restaurant owes its existence chiefly to Ray Kroc, the hustling traveling salesman who entered into an uneasy partnership with the McDonald brothers to take their hamburger-stand concept nationwide.

And Kroc's closest analogue in the hospitality sector is a man whose more sonorous name became his brand: Conrad Hilton, a New Mexico native who, after serving in World War I, became a state legislator for the Land of Enchantment before turning to the private sector with dreams of owning a bank. When that fell through, Hilton launched a fallback plan that would become his life's work, purchasing the Mobley Hotel in Cisco, Texas. After success with that location over the course of 1920s, Hilton opened eponymous inns across the Lone Star State, and while the Great Depression nearly destroyed his fledgling business, he came out on the other side with eight hotels and a coastal expansion plan. As his chain went nation and worldwide, Hilton himself turned into a symbol of wealth and glamour, marrying actress Zsa Zsa Gabor as the middle of his three wives and becoming famed for his philanthropy. Today, Hilton's business legacy includes nearly 600 hotels in 85 countries.

But the other part of his legacy is less estimable: his heirs, a murderer's row of towheaded failed sons and daughters who serve as poster children for drastically raising the estate tax. In a particular twist of the knife, Conrad Hilton's namesake, his great-grandson Conrad, who looks like a fraternity pledge killed in a hazing incident, is perhaps worst of all, having been arrested countless times at just the age of 24 for grand theft auto, drunk driving, drug possession, violating parole and restraining orders, and for repeatedly screaming at a crew on an international flight "I am going to fucking kill you!"

Hilton's most famous heir is of course his granddaughter, Paris, who starred in one of the first breakout celebrity sex tapes, which ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon leaked without her consent, and whose "fish out of water" reality series *The Simple Life* introduced the world to her catchphrase, "That's hot!" While personal friends have claimed the empty-headed heiress act is a put-on, and there's a widely circulated story about her hobby of collecting and repairing vintage radios, in 2005, she was eager to trade on her image to act as a cheesecake model for a cheeseburger chain in a famous commercial where she washed a Bentley in a bikini while eating a sloppy sandwich called the Rodeo Burger. The spot, while a huge success, was maybe the most extreme example of the fast-food franchise's sexist marketing, which made the chain's founder remark that he was "just heartbroken" that a company he'd founded on Christian principles has taken such an amoral act.

Today, just as the Hilton Hotel chain is known for its luxury, this burger chain that employed the elder Conrad's granddaughter as a swimsuit-clad spokeswoman is known for perhaps being the most over-the-top brand in fast food.

This week on *Doughboys*, we return once again to Carl's Jr./Hardee's.

## Fork rating

Carl's/Hardee's had been previously reviewed on *Doughboys* twice. In episode 9, Nick gave it 4 forks and Mitch gave it 5, and it was placed in the Golden Plate Club. This status was immediately revoked, however, because the CEO of Carl's Jr. was politically shady.

Then when that CEO finally resigned, they re-reviewed it in episode 103, with both Nick and Mitch giving it 4 stars, so Carl's Jr. finally was placed officially in the Golden Plate Club.

* Chicken Tenders
* Vanilla Shake
 Mike Mitchell
* The Big Carl
	+ - pickles & onions
* Jalapeno Thickburger
* Crisscut Fries
* Chocolate Shake
 Alana Johnston 🔪
* Crisscut Fries
* Strawberry Shake

This third review closes the door on Carl's Jr./Hardee's, and it is no longer in the Golden Plate Club.

## Hot or Not 🔥

In Hot or Not, The Doughboys have a spicy snack and rate its hotness.

For this episode, they try The Black Dahlia Murder As Good As Dead Extra Hot Beef Jerky.

The rating scale is Hot Hot Hot, Hot Hot, Hot, Not, Not Not, Not Not Not.

 Mike Mitchell
 Alana Johnston🔪

## Quotes

**Mitch**: Hm. Were you in the bathroom?
**Nick**: Wait, what? OK, hold on.
**Mitch**: Heeheehee

**Mitch:** A salad?
**Nick:** IT WASN'T A SALAD. THAT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF HOT ANYWAY.
**Mitch:** Heeheehee

## #hashtags

* #DeathDefyingDinner
* #BeggingForBBQ
* #OverSauced
* #HoosierBoysAndGals or #HowYouCreamin
* #WhatAreYouTalkingAbout
* #BackOffMitch

## The Feedbag

Do you ever miss the cold and snow of the North and East?

## Related Episodes

* 24. Hard Rock Cafe (The Leftovers)
* 40. Burger Brawl: Round 1
* 43. Burger Brawl: Semifinals 1
* 103. Carl's Jr. / Hardee's 2
* 137. **Carl's Jr. / Hardee's 3**
* 171. Outback Steakhouse 2 (Breaking Chews)
* DD. Beyond Chicago
* 242. Mac Attack Round of 32, Part 2 (Breaking Chews)
* DD. Cookie Draft (Snack or Wack)
* 137. **Carl's Jr./Hardee's 3**
* 166. Pink's Hot Dogs
* DD. Wiger Alone
* 190. Smoke's Poutinerie
* BC7. Cornbread
* DD. It's A Wigerful Life
* DD. Wige Hard
* THON21. Doughathon
* DD. The Mitchy Clause
* DD. Water 3: Snow
* DD. 7/11 Challenge
* 385. Sonic Drive-In 2
* DD. Chips: Can We Trust Them?