recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Elder brain

An **elder brain** is the final stage of the mind flayer life cycle. The elder brain lives in a brine-filled pool in the center of a mind flayer city, where it guides its community by filling them with dark dreams of illithid domination.

## **Appearance**

The elder brain's strong mind-affecting powers stem from the brains of long-dead mind flayers making up its viscous mass. Being composed of many brains as the energy source for its intellect, it can communicate telepathically with any creature within a distance of 350 feet and sense the presence of any sentient creature within five miles.

## **Known Elder Brains**

Plan B liberated a captive elder brain inside its stranded nautiloid at the base of the Sword Mountains near Phandalin in "Trial of Tentacles" (1x12).
Black Scorpion

## The Black Scorpion

Sort of like this, except with more legs and much, much larger.

**The Black Scorpion** is a giant spider/arachnid, but for some reason people call him a scorpion.

## Personal Life

The Black Scorpion doesn't know why people call him a scorpion- he doesn't even have a tail. But he does have 17 pistols that he holds in all 17 of his arachnid legs.

## Dietary Habits

Growing up, The Black Scorpion's mommy told him that if he was a good little boy and ate human flesh enough, he'd grow up to be big and strong, and he'd gain more legs than any other spider alive. If he eats 30 more humans, he will grow his 18th leg. Speaking of which, would you like to come to his dinner party? He will serve you candied apples, NOT human flesh. There will be 30 other humans there. He swears that none of them will be eaten.
Calendar of Harptos

The **Calendar of Harptos** was the calendar used across most of Faerûn.

Both the first and second campaigns of Plan B take place in the Year of Dwarvenkind Reborn, or 1488 DR. To view the summary calendar tracking their adventures, go here.

## **Marking the Passage of Time**

The **Calendar of Harptos** consists of 12 months, each divided into three weeks of ten days each (referred to as "tendays"). The individual days within a tenday do not have names, but are instead identified by the name and day of the month, such as "3 Alturiak". Additionally, the calendar included five annual holidays that fell between some months as special days, bringing the total number of days in a year to 365. Every four years represented a leap year, including the sixth special holiday of Shieldmeet.

Each year has a specific name (such as "The Year of Sunrise"), and the current method of reckoning the years in Faerûn is called Dalereckoning, or DR.

## **Months and Holidays**

The names of the months, their nicknames, and the holidays used in Faerûn are:

* Hammer, or "Deepwinter"
	+ Midwinter (between Hammer 30 and Alturiak 1)
* Alturiak (pronounced: /ɔːlˈtɜːriɑːk/ *awl-TUR-ee-ak*), or "The Claw of Winter"
* Ches, or "The Claw of Sunsets"
* Tarsakh (pronounced: /ˈtɑːrsɑːk/ *TAR-sack*), or "The Claw of Storms"
	+ Greengrass (between Tarsakh 30 and Mirtul 1)
* Mirtul (pronounced: /ˈmɛrtʊl/ *MER-tul*), or "The Melting"
* Kythorn (pronounced: /ˈkaɪθɔːrn/ *KY-thorn*), or "The Time of Flowers"
* Flamerule (pronounced: /ˈflɑːmɛruːl/ *FLAME-rool*), or "Summertide"
	+ Midsummer (between Flamerule 30 and Eleasias 1)
	+ Shieldmeet occurs the day after Midsummer, once every four years
* Eleasis (pronounced: /ɛˈlisɪs/ *eh-LEE-sis*), or "Highsun"
* Eleint (pronounced: /ɛˈlɑːɪnt/ *eh-LAINT*), or "The Fading"
	+ Highharvestide (between Eleint 30 and Marpenoth 1)
* Marpenoth, or "Leaffall"
* Uktar, or "The Rotting"
	+ Feast of the Moon (between Uktar 30 and Nightal 1)
* Nightal, or "The Drawing Down"
Dr. Water

Oh. I guess he's also a medical doctor?

**Dr. Water** is the man who invented water.

## Personal Life

Somehow, Dr. Water forgot to patent his idea of water. Now everyone is just drinking it for free! He's supposed to make 1 cent for every molecule of water consumed. Do you have any idea how much money he could have made!?!? He also could have bought Facebook stock on day one but didn't. AND there was a $100 bill on the ground the other day but he didn't pick it up. He missed out on so many opportunities for money making! Dr. Water feels he needs to go back to business school.
Gary Gollum Jr.

**Gary Gollum Jr.** is a seller of custom used cars made for animals.

## Personal Life

Gary Gollum Jr. owns 7 used car dealerships, but instead of selling used cars he turns them into little homes for your pets. It can be like one of those little cat jungle gyms for a cat, except it's a used car. They also double as litter boxes! The business hasn't really taken off yet, because these cars still cost the same amount as a regular used car, and people don't really want to pay thousands of dollars for a cat playplace. But Gollum Jr. is happy doing it.
Giant lizard

**Giant lizards** are scaly, reptilian animals that came in a variety of colors and patterns. Because of their larger size and ability to be domesticated, they are often used as mounts.

## **Appearance**

Giant lizards have a moderately elongated body, a tail that tapers down from their body width, and two pairs of legs held outward from the body.

## **Abilities**

**Movement:** Climbing
**Senses:** Darkvision
**Attacks:**

* **Bite:** A bite attack that deals piercing damage.

## **Known Giant Frogs**

The lizardfolk of Castle Naerytar kept giant lizards as pets, which they used in the rebellion against the bullywugs assisted by Plan B in "Reptilian Rebellion - Part 1" (2x12) and "Reptilian Rebellion - Part 2" (2x13).
Pip Stonehill

###

"The Dark Underbelly" (1x04)

## Campaigns

**Pip Stonehill** is a male human from Phandalin. As an NPC, he is played by Ben P.

## **Description**

### **Appearance**

Pip is a young boy. His clothes are always clean and well-cared for.

### **Personality**

Pip is very friendly and happy. He is easily excited.

## **Background**

Pip is the son of Toblen and Trilena Stonehill, and helps his parents run Stonehill Inn.

## **Episode Appearances**

### **"Redbrand Roughhousing" (1x02)**

Plan B visits Stonehill Inn for the first time. Pip helps Elsa with waiting on the heroes, and is excited to meet a group of adventurers. He's especially fond of Cansteline.

Pip tells them that his friend Carp Alderleaf found a secret tunnel in the woods, but had to run away because the Redbrands almost caught him.

### **"The Dark Underbelly" (1x04)**

Pip takes the heroes to Alderleaf Farm and introduces them to Carp. The two boys lead the adventurers to the secret tunnel in the woods, which leads them to the cellar complex below Tresendar Manor.

### **"Greengrass; or New Beginnings" (1x20)**

At Phandalin's First Annual Greengrass Festival, Pip is found in the Town Square just outside of Stonehill Inn running the "Pin the Cloak on the Redbrand" game with his mother Trilena.
Aqua Velva Ventus

The fiend himself

**Aqua Velva Ventus** is a boy who dipped his toe in Aqua Velva.

## Personal Life

Aqua Velva Ventus' toe smells so good that people ask him to put it away when he comes near. He created his own perfume brand (unaffiliated with the other one of the same name) by grinding his friend Aqua into a liquid. It still smells really strong, and it has human remains in it, so it's definitely not approved by the FDA. But if you go to Aqua Velva Ventus' sovereign nation called Ventusland, he'll sell it to for the low, low price of $1,000. Please buy it, because no one has purchased it yet and he's starting to regret having ground up his friend into a liquid.
Lizardfolk

**Lizardfolk**, also known as lizard men, are a race of reptilian humanoids native to Toril.

## **Appearance**

Lizardfolk are semi-aquatic, reptilian humanoids. Their skin is covered in scales and varies in color from dark green to shades of brown and gray. Taller than humans and powerfully built, lizardfolk are often between six and seven feet tall and weigh between 200 and 250 pounds. Lizardfolk have non-prehensile, muscular tails that grow to three or four feet in length, used for balance. They also have sharp claws and teeth.

## **Abilities**

**Movement:** Swimming
**Traits:**

* **Hold Breath:** Can hold its breath for 15 minutes.

**Attacks:**

* **Multiattack:** Can attack more than once each turn.
* **Bite:** A bite attack that deals piercing damage.
* **Heavy Club:** A melee attack that deals bludgeoning damage.
* **Javelin:** A melee or ranged attack that deals piercing damage.
* **Spiked Shield:** A melee attack that deals piercing damage.

## **Known Lizardfolk**

Plan B worked closely with the Scaly Death lizardfolk tribe in the Mere of Dead Men, assisting them in rebelling against their bullywug slavers in "Road House" (2x05) through "Reptilian Rebellion - Part 2" (2x13).
Gravelord Nito

**Gravelord Nito** is a skeleton made out of 50 skeletons who doesn't have lips, and his teeth chatter every time he talks.

## Dietary Habits

He eats bone meal every time he's hungry, and eats chicken fajitas every time he's not hungry.

## Personal Life

Gravelord Nito was married to The Bonfire from 2013 - 2015.

Gravelord Nito recently adopted a Transylvanian accent, because he was bitten by a vampire. He doesn't know how the vampire sucked his blood, since Nito is made only of bones. The vampire had bonked Gravelord Nito over the head with a 2x4 to knock him out beforehand, so Nito isn't completely sure what happened, but he thinks the vampire soaked him IN blood, and then licked it off of his bones. This somehow turned him into a vampire, so BLEH! Nito will turn you into a vampire if you want, but only if you really want- he's not pushy about it.

## Appearances

* 10/14/18 [watch clip]
* 03/07/19 [watch clip]
Berengar The Bear Slash Man

**Berengar The Bear Slash Man** is a man who slashes bears. DO NOT confuse him with a 'bear/man'.

## Dietary Habits

Berengar eats spaghetti, but he's only ever eaten one giant length of spaghetti that stretches for miles, and he's never gotten to the end of it. It's impossible to cut, so he has one long piece of spaghetti connected to him that's constantly being eaten and pooped out at all times. Do not grab his string of spaghetti.

## Personal Life

Someday maybe you'll learn about his exploits that have led him to be known as Berengar The Bear Slash Man, but that day is not today.
Nundro Rockseeker

###

"Greengrass; or New Beginnings" (1x20)

## Campaigns

**Nundro Rockseeker** is a male dwarf miner.  As an NPC, he is played by Ben P.

## **Description**

### **Appearance**

Nundro has long, stringy black hair, a short beard, and a long mustache. He sports spiral design tattoos on his left shoulder and the left side of his chest.

## **Background**

Nundro and his brothers knew Krisella as children.

Some time in late 1487 DR or early 1488 DR, the Rockseeker brothers located the entrance to the fabled Wave Echo Cave.

## **Episode Appearances**

### **"Out of Wave Echo Cave" (1x19)**

Plan B locates Nundro inside Wave Echo Cave, alive but weak. He claims he has has been held and tortured as a captive of the Black Spider for some weeks.

### **"Greengrass; or New Beginnings" (1x20)**

The heroes escort Nundro back to Phandalin, along with his brother Tharden's body.

### **"To Waterdeep" (2x01)**

Gundren and Nundro put Tharden's body to rest by funeral pyre, inviting Krisella and Sildar to participate.

## **Relationships**

### **Krisella**

Nundro knew Krisella as a child, although she was admittedly closer to Gundren.
Drew Monster Closet Alexander

**Drew Monster Closet Alexander** (aka Jerry) is a closet from the Doom Series, in which the monsters wait for sometimes months on end in order to jump out and scare the player when the time comes.

## Personal Life

Alexander likes to go out on weekends, look at the martian sunsets, and sometimes fill up his entire closet compartment with baked beans, because they're very soothing to him.

Nobody ever calls Drew Monster Closet Alexander by his chosen nickname, Jerry, but he wishes they would. He has recently grown legs, and sometimes walks around saying hi to Doomguy. He can also go to the ice cream man to get his favorite flavor of ice cream, blood sundae with chestnuts roasted on a closed fire.

## Appearances

* 11/02/18 [watch clip]
* 03/15/19 [watch clip]
Grand Theft Auto Series

**Grand Theft Auto** is a video game series about a man who doesn't want to do crimes, but keeps smashing into police cars and getting in trouble for it.

**Watch This Playthrough: Grand Theft Auto Series Episodes**

## Games in Series

These are the games Nick has played on stream so far:

* Grand Theft Auto (1997)
* Grand Theft Auto 2
Camp Ledger

**Camp Ledger** is a book that sometimes turns things into gold. He sometimes also makes upgrades for things.

## Career

It's Camp Ledger's duty to stalk around at night and steal all the money out of peoples' cloaks without their knowledge. If you see him coming, DON'T WAKE UP or he'll eat your face. It's better to just have the money taken.
Donald Duck the Godfather

Photo taken right after he murdered the heads of the five duck families

**Donald the Godfather** eats cannoli every single day, which contains duck feathers and the hearts of his enemies.

## Famous Quotes

Donald the Godfather is the originator of many famous quotes. His most famous:

> "Keep your friends close, but consume the hearts and feathers of your enemies"
>
>
Cowboy Stevie Wonder Jones Johnson

**Cowboy Stevie Wonder Jones Johnson** is a cowboy who loves Stevie Wonder.

## Personal Life

Cowboy Stevie Wonder Jones Johnson loves Stevie Wonder so much that he named himself after him.

## Favorite Songs

Whenever Cowboy Stevie Wonder Jones Johnson is at the bar drinking whisky he starts singing Stevie Wonder songs. Here are a few of them:

* Born in the USA
* Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Cowboy Stevie Wonder Jones Johnson doesn't know the names of any musicians except Stevie Wonder, so all music is made by Stevie Wonder in his book. He considers Stevie Wonder to be the greatest musician ever made.
Churning River and Buttermaking Factory

**Churning River and Buttermaking Factory** is a, well, you know.

## Personal Life

Since Churning River and Buttermaking Factory is already a flowing river, he figures he might as well churn butter at the same time using his flowing motion. Sometimes a bear will say, "Wow, all these fish are pre-buttered. This is the best river ever!" And the river says, "Ah, thank you. That's a very nice compliment." And then the bear says, "What! A talking river! That's crazy!"
Bat Flying Pteradactyl Terry

**Bat Flying Pteradactyl Terry** is a creature from the past and the present, but not the future.

## Personal Life

Bat Flying Pteradactyl Terry is part bat and part pterodactyl. His father was a time traveling bat who went back to the year 10,000,000 B.C. After that... well, Bat Flying Pteradactyl Terry doesn't really want to talk about it. He was then born in the year 10,000,000 B.C. plus 1. Terry likes to do long division, but he doesn't know about any other type of math because they haven't been invented yet.
First Grenade in Forever (Song)

**The First Grenade in Forever** is an unfinished song by Ringo A Star Is Born Starr Jones, which was intended as a sequel to the massively popular Let It Die Theme Song. Unfortunately, the song was never finished before Jones' death in 74/89/56, leaving the final verse with a temporary word, meant to be replaced later.

## Lyrics

Only some of the lyrics were discovered. Jones himself claimed that the final lyric was never finished:

> Tonight imagine me with a gun
>
>

> And I have two guns, no maybe three guns.
>
>

> I have so many guns that I can't count!
>
>

> I can make all the grenades, if I craft a beer bottle and a rag
>
>

> And I can make a molotov cocktail now
>
>

> It's an actual real-life explosion, it'll be really loud.
>
>

> And it'll be hot and I'll hurt myself now! (for sure)
>
>

> (CHORUS)
>
>

> For the first time in forever, I'm throwing grenades
>
>

> For the first time in forever, they bounced back and hit my face.
>
>

> I don't know if I'm excited or gassy, but my face is half off my face
>
>

> Because it burned and it really hurt
>
>

> I must go die... [place] (this final word was never finished)
>
>

## Appearances

* 11/02/18 [watch clip]
* 03/15/19 [watch clip]
Cage Nicky Jeremy

**Cage Nicky Jeremy** is a man who has been in several "motion major" pictures, which are different from major motion pictures.

## Career

He is in National Treasure, a movie in which he plays the role of a diamond who walks around, rolls around on the floor, and gets scuffed up so that someone has to clean him off. He's also in a movie where he plays two different guys, which is called Two Guys: An Alligator's Tale.

Cage Nicky Jeremy also participated in The Great Meatball Heist.
Fire Sword Alexander

Fire Sword Alexander in his shop

**Fire Sword Alexander** is a man who makes swords out of fire.

## Career

These aren't swords imbued with fire that Alexander makes, they're swords that are literally composed of fire. You might say that's a 'torch', and you'd be right, but he lives in the trendy area of Venice, California, and people are willing to pay top dollar for something like that. He has a bespoke shop with graffiti on the walls and exposed brick on the inside, where he charges $70,000 for fire swords.

## Dietary Habits

At his shop, Fire Sword Alexander also offers free urinal cakes, which he eats because he contends that they are 'cakes'. He has noticed that no one else at his shop has eaten one though.
Alexander Keyblade on Rye

Is he a blunt object or a sharp object?

**Alexander Keyblade On Rye** is a large object that The Creature Sora wields.

## Personal Life

Keyblade on Rye has 3 grooves at the top of his key area, and he likes to have little pieces of cotton stuck between them. It's like a pedicure!

He likes it when Sora tells him he's going to be the best key Sora ever wielded. Sora doesn't use Keyblade on Rye in locks, he shoots a laser beam from him instead. Keyblade on Rye doesn't know when a laser pointer got installed in his head.

## Mysterious Physical Properties

It's unclear whether Alexander is a sharp or blunt object. He certainly looks like a blunt object, but sometimes he's depicted as slicing into things like a sword.

## Dietary Habits

He doesn't eat anything because he doesn't have a mouth, but he likes to be dipped in hot wax sometimes because it feels good on his metal surface.
Dead Space Series

**Dead Space** is a series of sci-fi survival horror games about a man who likes to decapitate things and confine himself to extremely tight spaces.

Nick played Dead Space as part of SpookyTimeTober 2018.

**Watch This Playthrough: Dead Space Series Episodes**

## Games in Series

These are the games Nick has played on stream so far:

* Dead Space
Johnny John

**Johnny John** is a being who lives at Disneyland.

## Personal Life

Johnny John sneaks around in Disneyland trash cans. Sometimes he sticks his hand out and asks the children, "Hey, do you want a piece of candied fish?" and the children reply, "No, I don't think that sounds very appetizing." and Johnny John says, "Darn it, well I'll find a child who does then." After this, he takes his hand back from the trash can and continues his search.
Crab Monster Malathorn

Crab Monster Malathorn's original form.

**Crab Monster Malathorn** is a crab monster who has lived his whole life inside a tiny room... until now!

## Personal Life

Crab Monster Malathorn has lived his entire life inside a 1x1 foot room, but he's 500 feet tall. He had to compress his body by smashing his shell and squeezing into the room. He was recently freed by an anonymous benefactor in a diving suit, thought to be The Unknown Time Traveler. Since Crab Monster Malathorn has been stuck in the room for so long however, his form is now molded into a 1x1 foot cube and he has to re-grow all his organs.
Johnny Spray Painted Kitten

**Johnny Spray Painted Kitten** is a cat who smokes six packs of cigarettes per day.

## Personal Life

Every time he goes into his favorite alley, Nick comes in and spray paints green paint all over Johnny. And it doesn't even taste good. No alley will have him anymore, which he blames for his cigarette habit. He doesn't know why these things are correlated, but they are.

## Dietary Habits

Every day he eats the droppings of a specific mouse named Trent Mouse Raynor, who he describes as a factory of food.
John the Tradesman Extraordinaire

**John the Tradesman Extraordinaire** trades toenail clippings and shoes but refuses to deal with socks. Every time he makes a trade he goes "DEEDLY-DEE," and every time he goes "OH-OH-OH-OH-OH." These days he's been doing more "OH-OH-OH-OH-OHs" than "DEEDLY-DEEs," so times are tough.

## Catchphrases

> DEEDLY-DEE (positive response)
>
>

> OH-OH-OH-OH-OH (negative response)
>
>
Borpion

One of Borpion's pieces of merchandise

**Borpion** is the scorpion boy. He stings people, and sometimes stings himself just so he can feel again.

## Personal Life

Borpion has lost all feeling in all of his body parts except for his left ear. You might say that scorpions don't have ears. Well maybe YOU don't, if you're a scorpion, but Borpion does.

## Dietary Habits

Every Friday he eats 50 crackers, and every Thursday he gets ready for the crackers by eating 10 gallons of milk. Only spoiled milk though, so he can confidently describe his actions as 'eating' the milk.
Heart Halithon Harry

**Heart Halithon Harry** has no heart, but on the outside he's made of hearts.

## Personal Life

Heart Halithon Harry has hearts aplenty, but he'll never have a heart of his own. All his hearts are every color you can think of, as long as the only color you can think of is blood red. He's colorblind and can only see red, so that *actually is* the only color he can think of. Heart Halithon Harry made a fortune by mining bitcoins out of the ground, and then lost a fortune trying to launch a giraffe racing league.
Gus

**Gus** (also known by his true name: I Would Walk 500 Miles And I Would Walk 500 More)

## Personal Life

Gus likes to stick his hand inside his armpit and make a noise that sounds like "HOOPDY DOOPDY DOO!"

## Name

Despite Gus' real name being I Would Walk 500 Miles And I Would Walk 500 More, everyone just calls him Gus because the real one is too hard to say or spell.

## Dietary Habits

Gus' favorite food is lettuce-wrapped cherries.
Angelo Birdsong Featherfoot

## Biographical Information

### Place of birth

Here. Oh wait, you said "birth?" Well then I don't know. I thought you said "Bird."

## Physical description

### Species

Bird

**Angelo Birdsong Featherfoot** is a vulture who doesn't like humans messing with his nest.

## Personal Life

Featherfoot likes to draw things in permanent marker on his sneakers, but he's run out of space and has overlapped the drawings so many times that his sneakers just look like a black and brown mess.

## Dietary Habits

He likes to eat apples. He thinks not enough birds eat apples, which he thinks is a great source of worms. He likes to suck the worm out of a hole in the apple, then give the apple to "charity," which is the name he gave to his garbage can.

## Appearances

* 11/14/18 [watch clip] - First Appearance
* 11/14/18 [watch clip] - First Voice of Nick Voice
John Marsden

What a hunk!

**John Marsden** is a cowboy, baby. Not to be confused with Johnny Marsden.

## Career

You may know him from **Red Dead Redemption 7: The Revenge of the Polar Bear That John Marsden Married For a Minute**. You don't even want to know what happens next in this video game! But if you do want to know, it was this: the polar bear married him again and they lived happily ever after. That just basically described the whole game, you don't need to buy it anymore.

## Personal Life

Marsden makes money by selling Geralt Alexander Mastodon Marsten's golden poop, which is sent to him via a river that crosses between their two worlds.

John Marsden counts his toes every day, and every day he comes up with a different total number. He's always growing more toes. Currently he's up to 17 toes. Every time he gains a toe, he loses a finger. He has negative 3 fingers. There are actually finger-shaped holes inside his hand, and no fingers on top of his hands. He can't find a doctor who knows how to solve this problem.

## Appearances

* 01/02/19 [watch clip]
* 03/28/19 [watch clip]
Jerry The Robit Jerry

Jerry The Robit Jerry (left) with unknown associate (middle)

**Jerry The Robit Jerry** is a 7 inch tall robit, but he acts like he's 7,000 inches tall. He likes to punch other robits, but only if they've done him wrong. He doesn't want you to wear his name out, or even say his name at all.

## Personal Life

Jerry The Robit Jerry makes 70 snails out of porcelain, which he sells at the local shopping mall. Whenever he walks into the porcelain doll store, he breaks approximately 50 items. He thinks they allow him to sell his items there because he ends up breaking so many of their items and therefore having to pay for them. He ends up spending more money than he makes. The one person who buys Jerry The Robit Jerry's porcelain snails is a man who wears a diving suit and is believed to be the Unknown Time Traveler, who assures Jerry that the snails power his time machine.

Jerry The Robit Jerry has a tin can full of motor oil that he pours on the road so cars slip on it. Then, when they crash he takes their metal and puts it on his own body to make himself bigger. At last measurement, he was 75,000 inches tall. The people who were in the cars were all okay though, in case you're wondering. He put a big wall of balloons and pillows down to soften their impact. After the people left their vehicles however, Jerry The Robit Jerry may have eaten them. It's unclear.

## Examples of Possible Offenses

Jerry gets offended and punches other robits if they step on his shoe, scuff his shoe, or do really anything related to his shoe.

## Dietary Habits

He likes to eat motor oil on a chicken fried chicken sandwich, which is a disgusting food for humans but great for robits.

## Film Career

Jerry is perhaps best known for his association with the NickBot Jones franchise, as he portrayed young NickBot Jones in NickBot Jones and the Last Ban.

## Appearances

* 10/14/18 [watch clip]
* 03/07/19 (1) [watch clip]
* 03/07/19 (2) [watch clip]
Italian Jonathan Jeremy

**Italian Jonathan Jeremy** eats Italian food every single day. This mostly consists of peas.

## Eating Preferences

Jeremy hates meatballs because he gets them every single day from Nick's streams. He also hates all meat, and only eats peas every hour of every single day. He accomplishes this by taking a single pea from a container every hour and eating it.

## Personal Life

Italian Jonathan Jeremy has 17 Italian movies on the TV at all times. Whenever he's watching the TV it has to be an Italian movie, like Goodfellas or Balto: Wolf Quest. Those two are big parts of Italian culture. Sometimes when he's watching them, he might even eat two peas per hour rather than one because he gets so excited.

Italian Jonathan Jeremy has 17 Mazda cars, but he doesn't really have a reason to use them because he lives in an area of Jupiter without roads. He stacks all the cars vertically on top of each other as a nice little art installation. He also draped it in honey, which attracts lots of Jupiter Bears.

Italian Jonathan Jeremy has 75 cousins, who are all named Albert. They're all in the same class in school, so it's tough for Italian Jonathan Jeremy (as the teacher) to call the role. In their class it's the 75 Alberts and one other person, named Alberto. Nobody has a name with any other first letter.

## Appearances

* 10/06/18 [watch clip]
* 03/17/19 [watch clip]
* 03/25/19 [watch clip]
* 03/28/19 [watch clip]
B. B. Hatfield

**B. B. Hatfield** (2B) is an android who likes to wear really revealing clothing, because she's an android and can do what she wants.

## Dietary Habits

Hatfield eats 700 Snickers bars daily without removing the wrappers. They get pooped out perfectly intact, not being digested at all, and she can reuse them by giving them to kids on Halloween.
Injured Doe

**Injured Doe** is a deer which was shot in the leg.

## Personal Life

Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) shot Injured Doe in the leg, and now Doe walks around weeping and limping and wishing she was back home eating ice cream sundaes. Injured Doe hopes some kind of magician will come and save her.

## Dietary Habits

Despite being a doe, Injured Doe knows how to open a container of ice cream and get the ice cream out. She just bites off the top of it, and since she's a doe she doesn't mind eating the container itself. The sundae part comes from pooping on the ice cream instead of chocolate sauce. Injured Doe claims this has a nice, earthy texture to it.
Fingers In My Eyes Johnson

**Fingers In My Eyes Johnson** always sticks his fingers in his eyes and it hurts, but he can't stop doing it because now that’s the norm for him. If he doesn't stick his fingers in there it feels weird.

## Personal Life

Every time he puts his finger in his eye, it gets fecal matter in his eye socket. He lives in a sewer, so he really shouldn't be touching his eyes. And he also shouldn't live in a sewer. They charge him $3,000 per month for rent for a one-bedroom, and he can't even use any other parts of the sewer as his house. It's not a great deal. He needs to find somewhere else to live.

## Dietary Habits

Johnson likes to eat spaghetti. Sometimes he drops it on the ground, but he doesn't mind because he can't see anything.

## Appearances

* 10/10/18 [watch clip]
* 03/04/19 [watch clip]
Giant Dragon Xehanort Xalithor

**Giant Dragon Xehanort Xalithor** is a giant dragon who likes to throw buildings and eat schillings. He is not to be confused with the regular Xehanort.

## Personal Life

Giant Dragon Xehanort Xalithor is a white dragon with blue eyes, but he's not associated with any other blue eyed white **[REDACTED]**. He can't say actually, or he'll be sued by other properties.

## Dietary Habits

Xalithor likes to put the schillings in a sandwich and eat them all in one bite. His teeth aren't strong enough to take multiple bites out of the sandwich.

## Sources

All of this information was extracted from Xalithor's GeoCities page.
Balfor the Booty

**Balfor the Booty** is a dwarf who has no booty to call his own.

## Personal Life

Balfor the Booty calls himself this name because he doesn't have a booty- it was eaten by a cave troll. If you ever see a booty lying somewhere, please put it on ice and return it to Balfor. It's been gone about 14 years now, but some doctor or wizard can probably still re-attach it.

Balfor the Booty also likes to exercise thrice a day by sitting up from his chair and then sitting back down.
Destinyman

**Destinyman** is half robot and half stars.

## Personal Life

Destinyman's mother was a cosmos, and his father was a vacuum cleaner. They combined their beings into Destinyman, and he has consumed them both. He makes 5,000 pancakes every single day, stacking them so high that they touch the Sun. Then they burn all the way down to the ground and nobody ever gets to eat them.
Dandelion

**Dandelion** (also known as *Dandelion The Rosepetaled Bababa*) is a poet and he "don't care who know it." He's a flower that sometimes plays the guitar.

## Personal Life

Every day Dandelion likes to scatter dandelions all over his bedroom and frolic in them. Did he say dandelions? He meant open containers of toxic sludge. He calls them dandelions because he likes to pretend that he's frolicking in a meadow, even though he's slowly being killed by radiation. In reality, he doesn't 'scatter the dandelions across the room' so much as he 'lives in a nuclear containment facility'. Dandelion has been seeing illusions and hallucinations recently. He thinks his mind is going, and he doesn't know where he is or who he's been.

He always talks in a sultry voice, because it makes all the ladies love him. He only knows one lady, and her name is 'Lady Justice'. He's a police officer, which is very difficult for him because he's a flower, and he gets trampled on a lot- both metaphorically and physically.

## Dietary Habits

He likes to eat donuts through a straw, which then get turned into light and can be photosynthesized by his flowery frame.

## Appearances

* 11/05/18 [watch clip]
* 12/23/18 [watch clip]
* 03/17/19 [watch clip]
Fire Guy Flamberge

**Fire Guy Flamberge** is a guy who likes to keep warm.

## Personal Life

Fire Guy Flamberge has a sword named Flamberge and he sticks it into a fire every day. He then puts the sword up against his face to keep warm. You might ask why he doesn't just stand next to the fire to keep warm- it's because he likes the danger of possibly branding himself with the hot sword. He also uses his sword to cut through butter. Aside from keeping warm and cutting through butter, Fire Guy Flamberge literally does nothing else all day.
Cap'n Jack Sparrow

**Cap'n Jack Sparrow** is not related to Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean but sounds like he is trying to impersonate him.

## Personal Life

Cap'n Jack Sparrow lives on Hollywood Boulevard in a trench and drinks grog every day to get in character as he drives around in his ship (car).

He doesn't tell anyone this, but he can fly. He's able to do this only during a full moon, and only for five minutes, so he has to be careful how far he gets from the ground.

Cap'n Jack Sparrow is so sleepy. He often falls unconscious for a few seconds at a time, and his doctor says he needs to keep count of how long he's been asleep each time because if he sleeps for 12 combined hours in his lifetime he'll die.

Cap'n Jack Sparrow has shoes on his hands, socks on his feet and also gloves on his feet. He's gotten so good at picking things up with his feet and walking on his hands that he never went back. All his food tastes kind of like feet, but otherwise it's pretty nice.

## Appearances

* 11/10/18 [watch clip]
* 03/17/19 [watch clip]
* 04/01/19 [watch clip]
GTA2 Russian Gang Leader

**GTA2 Russian Gang Leader** is a man who makes people into hot dogs and makes hot dogs into people.

## Personal Life

GTA2 Russian Gang Leader says all the people he makes into hot dogs are having a great time as hot dogs, and all the hot dogs that get made into people say... well, they don't say anything because they don't have vocal cords, but he's working on implementing that. Also GTA2 Russian Gang Leader claims that he has the worst Russian accent ever.
Alexander Hogwarts III

**Alexander Hogwarts III** is the grandson of Johnny Hogwarts, the founder of Hogwarts

## Personal Life

Alexander Hogwarts III is the leader of The Hogwarts Band. They're called "Sock It To Me!" and every day in their down time they play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots while wearing boxing gloves. It's actually pretty hard to do this with the gloves on because you need to press the little buttons, but they figured out how to do it. They also have never done magic before, because Hogwarts doesn't allow anyone in the band to do magic.
Greeny Meanie Joanie John

**Greeny Meanie Joanie John** is a green crayon whose paper is partially unwrapped, because it's sexier that way.

## Personal Life

She's green, and she's mean, but she ain't a queen. She's only a princess right now. She plans to kill her mother in order to become a queen.

## Dietary Habits

She eats wax paper, because as a crayon it fortifies her.
Jean Jacket Johnson

Artist's rendering of what Johnson might look like with only one of his jean jackets on.

## Physical description

### Weight

1 Man + 70 Jean Jackets

**Jean Jacket Johnson** is a man who wears 70 jean jackets a the same time.

## Personal Life

Inside his jean jackets, it is 8,500 degrees. The core temperature of his body is dangerously hot, but he can't take his jean jackets off. He was stabbed at some point in his life, and he had put on all the jean jackets to compress the wound. If he took off the jackets he would literally die, because all the blood and guts would spill out of his body. He has a USB powered fan that he blows on his face though, which makes his internal temperature more of a nice, balmy 8,499 degrees.

No human being can come close to him, because even if someone hugged him the jean jackets would make it so that the person is still 3 feet away from his actual body.

## Dietary Habits

Johnson has a hard time eating, because of all the pressure on his internal organs. He can eat a liquid though, like Soylent Green. This makes him feel like he's getting human contact.
Desert Jones

**Desert Jones** is a man made of sand. He can spread himself out to become a desert and then reform back into a human, although doing so gets sand everywhere. He is also a private eye.

## Personal Life

Desert Jones only wears a hat that's at least 10 feet tall, because if he wears a shorter one then people will laugh at him for being short. It's really top heavy though, so don't even breathe on him because it might fall over.

He thinks his voice has changed since the last time he spoke, because he sucked in helium from a balloon.

He likes to make little origami frogs. He can only do this with his left hand, because his right hand has permanently become sand, forever stuck in the configuration of a giant fist. He has an Etsy business for selling these frogs, and he has fitted his fist hand with a stamp so he can stamp packages with that hand and give it something to do.

Desert Jones likes to enter a speakeasy saying, "Barkeep!" He then hits his giant hand made of sand on the table, getting sand all over the place and in everybody's drinks. This makes everyone mad at him. But then he says, "Barkeep, a round of drinks for everybody," and everyone cheers, until he continues, "Of sand whiskey," and then everyone jeers. Then he teleports away, but not before making everyone eat all the sand whiskey first.

Desert Jones has now become a single grain of sand, because a vacuum cleaner sucked up the rest of him. He's currently trying to make it to the closest beach, which is 100 miles away, so it's going to be a little while before he arrives. But once he gets there he'll be as big as you can imagine! On the way, he's going to start his own version of Guy Fieri's show Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives. But his version is called Doctors, Lawyers & Other Lawyers. It's on his own TV network, called Sand TV.

## Career

Every day a femme fatale comes to his door and tries to hire him. In his career as a private eye, he has never solved a case. In fact, he's gotten every single one of his clients into jail somehow. He really needs to find a new line of work, so if anyone is hiring in any field, he would like to discuss employment. As long as the employer is OK with him getting sand all over the place.

## Appearances

* 09/25/18
* 11/01/18 [watch clip]
* 11/10/18 [watch clip]
* 03/04/19 [watch clip]
* 03/13/19 [watch clip]
Eatin' and Lurkin' (song)

**Eatin' and Lurkin'** is a song by an unknown artist about someone eating while watching Bilbo Ephram Alabaster Baggins get eaten by a giant spider.

## Lyrics

*The following is a selection of the song's lyrics:*

Eatin' and lurkin' and wishin' and prayin' / Plannin' and schemin' each kiss is the start / That won't get you into a spider's mouth
Guardian of the Bell Tower

He's the one on the left. Nobody knows who the one on the right is.

**The Guardian of the Bell Tower** is a talking doll who was made by a lady's own two hands.

## Personal Life

The Guardian of the Bell Tower has a nice hat that makes weird noises, which looks like a little feather on top of a peanut butter sandwich (because it is).

## Dietary Habits

The Guardian of the Bell Tower always makes Feather Sandwiches, but then a man comes along and says, "You can't just have a sandwich with feathers, you need to put peanut butter on it!" That man's name? George Washington Carver. He's The Guardian of the Bell Tower's brother, and he never lets The Guardian do anything without putting peanut butter on it. As much as Carver is famous for inventing peanut butter, he has a surplus of it sitting at home and can't get it off his hands, so he keeps giving it to The Guardian. He can't even ring his bell anymore because it's covered in peanut butter!
Apex Legend

## The Apex Legend

**The Apex Legend** is a talking lion who is filing a lawsuit against the Apex Legends video game.

## Personal Life

They named a game after The Apex Legend, and he's currently filing a lawsuit. He's a lion in the jungle who eats everything, but he's mad now that everyone uses the hashtag #ApexLegends for something other than him! Nobody sees his posts anymore on Twitter- his posts only get one like, and it's from him.
Gallant Galadrial

Gallant Galadrial (right) and her friend Johnny Elf (left)

**Gallant Galadrial** is an elf from Elf Town.

## Personal Life

Gallant Galadrial rides a horse that has two legs and isn't as hairy as a regular horse. Also it has two arms. It's just a human being, okay? She rides on a person's shoulders. When they ride through a doorway, she bonks her head on the top of the doorway because she's too tall. They need to improve all the doorways in Elf Town! Vote for Gallant Galadrial - she's running for office to become Lord Elf in Elf Town.
Balloon Elephant

**Balloon Elephant** is an animal thing that fights Sora and his party of adventurers in Kingdom Hearts.

## Personal Life

Balloon Elephant thought Sora would have Donald and Goofy with him as allies, but he's actually been using other, smaller balloon elephants as allies who are even stronger than Balloon Elephant is. Now Balloon Elephant is kind of offended- why didn't Sora pick HIM to be his friend? His plan to kill Sora involves painting a picture, then smashing it on Sora's head. You might ask why Balloon Elephant paints the picture first instead of just smashing him with a blank canvas. Well, the magic is in the painting- it has to be perfectly painted and then ruined in order to kill Sora.
Johnny the Johnster

Johnny the Johnster (left) with his girlfriend, Mallory Marlene Miller

**Johnny the Johnster** is a race car enthusiast who likes to race cars, race cars, and sometimes on off days, race cars.

## Personal Life

Every time Johnny the Johnster makes a left turn he goes right, and every time he makes a right turn he also goes right. You know the old saying: "Three left turns make a right turn, and also all other left turns make a right turn."

You might be wondering how Johnny the Johnster goes left in his car. Well, he doesn't. Hopefully he'll never need to go left as long as he lives. Unfortunately, Johnny is a NASCAR driver, and every turn in those races is a left turn. He's really in trouble here. His first race is about to start in twelve seconds. Somebody please help him.
Endless Johnny

**Endless Johnny** is a man with no end and no beginning, but he does have a middle, and it's ever expanding. Johnny's doctor says he should lay off the calories.

## Personal Life

Endless Johnny wears 7 pairs of sunglasses at all times, because the Sun will kill him if he sees any bit of it. He can't see the hand in front of his face right now. It's dark and he's lonely. He is assured however, that he's inside of a Chuck E. Cheese's right now, and he needs to get off the premises because he's eating all the pizza at a kid's birthday party. They wouldn't kick out a guy who can't see though, would they? Oh wait, they're doing it right now. Yes they would.
BertAndErnie The Troll

**BertAndErnie The Troll** is a troll who has made 7,000 campfires.

## Personal Life

At all 7,000 of BertAndErnie The Troll's campfires, he's cooked either a badger or a hobbit. Honestly, he can't tell the difference. He has 20 fingers and 40 toes, and this makes him the greatest concert pianist and cellist in the world at the same time. He plays the cello with his toes and the piano with his fingers simultaneously. He's a one man band, and doesn't have to share the profits of his sold-out shows with anybody!
Fireman Waterman

Wait, no this isn't what we meant

**Fireman Waterman** is a man made of fire and water.

## Personal Life

One side of Fireman Waterman's body is made out of fire, and one side of his body is made out water. He can shoot those two elements at things, but if he ever gave himself a hug, it would completely destroy him. The water would extinguish the fire, and it would be all over. He'd go up in a cloud of smoke.

Fireman Waterman works at a kitchen, where he is able to turn on the stoves and furnaces really quickly, and wash the dishes with his other hand. Everyone in the kitchen just needs to make sure not to go anywhere near him, or they'll light on fire. But hey, at least if they got lit on fire there would be water readily available to put them out!
Jonathan England

**Jonathan England** has a British accent but is from Transylvania and likes to twirl his baton every single minute of every single day.

## Scheduled Rituals

Jonathan likes to eat only spaghetti on Tuesdays and only puts eyedrops in his eyes on Thursdays, but ALWAYS salts his feet so he doesn't get slugs on them every day.

## Special Talents

He's a very Fancylad**™** and does magic, but he's not a wizard. He does only the finest magic tricks.

## Personal Life

England only walks on one leg. The other one works fine, but he's saving it for a rainy day.

## Appearances

* 10/08/18
* 10/17/18
Beorn The Baby Bjorn

He's holding his doll, but offscreen.

**Beorn The Baby Bjorn** is a changeling who loves playing with his doll.

## Personal Life

Beorn The Baby Bjorn plays with Baby Born dolls every day at least 3 times a day. Sometimes 5 times a day. Okay, who is he kidding? At least 10 times a day. He sings the 'Baby Bjorn' theme song while doing this (please don't try to tell him the doll has another name- he will not hear of it). The doll is very realistic- it can pee all over the place. He uses it to water his garden sometimes, actually.
Brooklyn Jones

This photo was taken just before Brooklyn Jones broke both his wrists and his concentration.

## Biographical Information

### Marital status

If it doesn't involve baseball, he's not interested

## Physical description

### Eye color

Rainbow

**Brooklyn Jones** likes to play baseball, but hates watching baseball because he enjoys blind playthroughs and doesn't like baseball spoilers. This character has never seen a baseball but only plays baseball with soccer balls. Not to be confused with Brooklyn Johnny Jones or Brooklyn Nick.

## Personal Life

Jones is 20 feet tall, but uses a regular sized baseball bat, which is about the size of a ballpoint pen in his hands. He could probably just smack the baseball if he needed to. Every time he goes to the grocery store people recognize him, but he denies the claim because he doesn't like the attention.

Jones has 70 baseballs and stacks them all on top of each other to make a baseball tower. They're also made of chocolate, so when he gets hungry he will take one of the baseballs from the middle to eat it. He takes these baseballs from the middle of the stack so gracefully that the stack itself doesn't even topple over. He's like a dang ballerina.

## Dietary Habits

Brooklyn Jones likes to eat a school bus full of jelly. School buses are the style of container that he likes to use. He eats the jelly by opening the double doors and tipping the bus forward.

## First Appearance

* 09/25/18
* 10/14/18 [watch clip]
* 01/11/19 [watch clip]
Bert the Troll Hunter

**Bert the Troll Hunter** is a troll who hunts, and he also hunts other trolls.

## Personal Life

Bert the Troll Hunter will never tell his two troll friends about the fact that he hunts other trolls, because then they might kick him out of the group. He would never hunt them, because he's secretly in love with both of them.
Comeback Kid

## The Comeback Kid

**The Comeback Kid** is a man who only talks out of the right ride of his mouth. He reserves the left side of his mouth for shouting at dragons, so he never speaks out of it because in doing so he would break everything around him.

## Personal Life

Every time he chews tobacco he goes 'Ptooey" and spits it right onto his right shoe. His right shoe, which started as white, is now completely black.

Every time Comeback Kid goes to the mountaintop, he slips and falls down the mountain. This is because his shoes have hardened into big blocks because of all the dried tobacco on them, and they are very hard to maneuver. He recently invented a jetpack so he doesn't have to walk anywhere.

## Appearances

* 11/01/18 [watch clip]
* 03/20/19 [watch clip]