Episode 16 - Some Soul to Spare

## Summary

Winsler traded 1/17th of his measly soul. He traded it for a fancy magic scale, after being expressly told not to do so. Afterwards, everyone met with the second eldest, Golapedra, as well as the Goose-like speaker of the first, and by Goose like, completely a goose just standing upright. And then they met at camp, had some bad stew, and learned about some magical items they had purchased.

## Transcription

*Winsler's deal with Seltie, from 02:50 to 16:40 with some out of character content omitted. Transcribed by Sarah Z.*

**Winsler:** Your scale!

**Seltie:** Oh! This scale! Well, it'll cost you mightily, my friend.

**Winsler:** So, I got this sand from a magical book! I have very strong memories tied to this place, where me and my friends may have probably died if we weren't too careful. It's also sand.

**Seltie:** ... Just normal sand?

**Winsler:** Magical book sand!

**Seltie:** But.. does it have any particularly interesting qualities?

**Winsler:** I imagine if you tasted it, it would probably be different than regular sand.

**Mira:** Well, it's not just about the thing, right? It's about the memories associated with it? And this one would be really good because all of us have associated memories- well, most of us, but... THREE of us have associated memories with it, so you could get a lot of, like, value out of it.

**Seltie:** Mm, interesting.

**Winsler:** I guarantee you at least two other of us in this room have at least put their foot in this specific pile of sand where it came from!

**Seltie:** But do I just want this.. book sand for my really cool scale? I think you need-

**Mira:** And our memories!

**Seltie:** And your memories, of course, yes. That goes without saying.

**Winsler:** Each memory is embedded with each little grain of sand!

**Seltie:** That's quite the value! But I think you'll have to sweeten the deal for me... boyo.

**Integrity:** Whoawhoawhoawhoa. Seltie. Think about this, okay? This sand can be controversial in the future. If anyone dies while in that book, think about the controversy! Everyone's gonna want that sand. Where's the sand from the book killing book?

**Mira:** Yeah! It's like a roadside attraction, y'know? Come one, come all, see the sand that murdered someone!

**Winsler:** Or if it's, like, needed evidence for a crime scene!

**Seltie:** ... so you're telling me it's a famous book. So the three of you have been the book!

**Winsler, Mira, and Integrity, overlapping:** Yes!

**Seltie:** And you. Tall, immense giantess lady. Have you heard of this book which you've never been in?

**Serinepth:** Yes, they told me about everything.

**Seltie:** Uh uh. Prior to them telling you, did you know about the book?

**Serinepth:** Oh yes, definitely.

**Seltie:** All right. That'll do for about half the price of this whole scale. Hmmm... how about. Oh, I know. How about you trade me a bit of your soul?

**Winsler:** Uhh...

**Seltie:** Not now! Just a little contract, so that... "when I die, you can have one sixteenth of my soul".

**Winsler:** Wait. So.. how's that work? So if I offer you some of my soul... and you die... I get some of your soul... I'm confused.

**Seltie:** No! It's like a... when you die, it's like a loan.

**Winsler:** I think you have a flawed business model.

**Seltie:** I'm loaning you the scale! One day you will die, inevitably, and then I get a part of your soul! The rest of it goes off to do whatever it does, to fulfil other loans. One sixteenth is nothing, child! There are devils out there that would take a quarter of it, no problem.

**Winsler:** But I really want that scale...

**Serinepth:** Why do you want the scale?

**Integrity:** Winsler, which part of the soul...

**Winsler:** The foot.

**Seltie:** The foot sole would work!

**Mira:** Excuse me, can we put a pause on this deal for a second, just for like two secs?

**Seltie:** Oh! Well, it's a take it or leave it. You have a couple minutes.

**Mira:** Okay. Umm.. do you remember when we were standing in front of Artis in his office and he was like, "you shouldn't make a deal with things! That's the biggest danger here!" I feel like, even though he is a creep, this is maybe a time when we should listen to him?

**Winsler:** I have a bit of a short term memory loss, so I don't remember that scenario happening.

**Mira:** He did definitely say that and we should definitely be careful. There is no good reason to need someone's soul, right?

**Winsler:** Nah, I don't think you can find any use for a soul.

**Mira:** Yeah, so if she wants your soul, it's probably not for any good, standard magic. Like, it's a cool scale, but we don't even really know what it can do besides like weigh items for transactions, and I don't think you're really selling anything. It's a neat thing, and trading some sand for it is all well and good, but maybe not like... a soul.

**Winsler:** I might have something else that I can offer up!

This here came from the same book that the sand did, except this is an actual book that came from within the book. So you got some book-ception goin' on here!

**Seltie:** Hand it here.

**Luke:** And then she's going to open the front cover.

**Ben:** Oh shit! Oh fuck!

**Luke:** And a badger is going to appear in her hands, which she's going to promptly drop and then jump back, and it's just going to wiggle around on the floor and look up and look straight at you. And there's a small paper badger looking straight at you, and Seltie goes:

**Seltie:** WHAT WAS- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

**Mira:** You can have that and many more with this book!

**Winsler:** You opened the book and it summoned a badger! Made of paper!

**Serinepth:** Can I.. can I pick it up? I'm gonna pick it up and like... scratch its paper ear gently.

**Seltie:** Absolutely no way will I make the deal for that book. I hate creatures. Repulsive. It's either... okay. One SEVENTEENTH of your soul. Only upon your death. Through natural causes, I will not send assassins after you. I am an upstanding person.

**Winsler:** But I really want that scale...

**Seltie:** It's a very cool scale.

**Serinepth:** Winsler, what do you need the scale for?

**Winsler:** Everyone else got one, so I just wanted to feel included.

**Mira:** Get the cool shoes!

**Serinepth:** I'll give you one of mine... I'll give you my-

**Luke:** She presses a button on it, and it makes a cool "Cha-Ching!" sound.

**Seltie:** Look, it can do this! Cha-ching! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!

**Ben:** I am so entranced by the cha-ching, I have to have it.

**Sam:** I hold out my fork that I got.

**Serinepth:** I'll give you this if you just don't take the scale. Look how pretty it is!

**Seltie:** Cha-ching! Cha-ching! Cha-ching!

**Serinepth:** Look how nice it is, Winsler! Hey, Winsler, guess what? This won't cost you your goddamn soul.

**Seltie:** Mine's just 1/17th of your soul and a bag of sand. What's that to you? You don't need your soul once you're dead!

**Serinepth:** Winsler...

**Mira:** You really shouldn't do this...

**Serinepth:** I'm trying to keep any part of your soul safe right now, please.

**Winsler:** Sold!

**Luke:** And she shakes your hand. Her eyes kind of glow this light purple colour, and a small 'S' seems to be branded onto your wrist.

**Winsler:** Hey, I got a cool tattoo just like you, Mira!

**Mira:** This is not a good thing! This is not desirable! This not a thing we need matching sets of!

**Seltie:** It was a pleasure doing business with you, son. The scale is all yours.