Steele's Pots and Pans

**Steele's Pots and Pans** (known colloquially as Steele's) is a metal fabricating company, based in London, UK, specialising in cookware.

Steele's is the official sponsor of the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights. According to Bella Ridley, their motto is "*if you want a steal, get a Steele's Pots and Pans!*".

According to Christmas Porno 6, Steele's has been around since at least the 1970s.

## Accomplishments

* As of the beginning of Book 4, Steele's is the second-largest supplier of quality cookware in Europe.
* In Book 5, the Oxy-Brillo range becomes the fastest-selling pots and pans range in Australian history thanks to their product placement on *The Cooking with Cosmo Show*.

## Employees

### Senior Management

* Tony Sylvester: CEO and Chairman of the Board; formerly Managing Director
* Des Martin: Managing Director; formerly Regional Sales Manager for London and the South-East
* Bella Ridley: International Sales Director; formerly Key Account Manager USA; formerly receptionist
* Bill: Human Resources Director
* Iain Snail: Head of Marketing
* Mary Snowball: Head of Operations

### Shareholders

* Sir James Godwin: Shareholder and former CEO and Chairman of the Board

### Other employees

* Giselle Sylvester: position unclear; formerly Key Account Manager Russia; formerly PA to Tony Sylvester
* Dave Wilcox: Regional Sales Manager for the Western Areas
* Patrick O'Hamlyn: Regional Sales Manager for Scotland and Ireland
* Ken Dewsbury: Regional Sales Manager for Central and Northern England
* Jim Thompson: Sales Administration Manager
* George McIntosh: Production Director at the Company Factory
* Neil MacDuff: Quality Control Worker at the Company Factory
* Gladys: Canteen Assistant
* Ethel: Canteen Assistant (formerly worked for Shakespeare Retail Stores)

### Former employees

* Professor Slinz: Company Factory Head Scientist (committed suicide using a cyanide pill at the Bisch Schloss to stop himself giving away the Trioxy-Brillo range secrets to Giselle Sylvester)
* Belinda Blumenthal: EDADD worker; formerly International Sales Director (left to become President of Bisch-Herstellung Enterprises)
* Maeve: Key Account Manager Russia; formerly receptionist (arrested by Helga Jonker for her work as Agent XYZ)

## Products

Steele's specialises in making pots and pans, but they also make woks, griddles, and toastie makers.

At the beginning of the series, Belinda is trying to clear out the company's last remaining stocks of the Oxy-Brillo range. Despite Tony saying in Book 2 that they just have the last few units to sell, they still haven't cleared out their inventory after selling several thousand in total to Peter Rouse, Jim Stirling, and Alfonse Stirbacker, and giving away 20,000 woks at the O2. It seems by now that they aren't trying to get rid of the last few units anymore, and in fact they are still producing Oxy-Brillo products. Steele's sponsors the hit Australian telly show *The Cooking with Cosmo Show* in Book 5 and break sales records with the ensuing success of the Oxy-Brillo range.

Belinda describes the Oxy-Brillo range to Cosmo Macaroon (mid-sex) as "non-stick, environmentally nice and light to the touch". The range apparently costs 45 Australian dollars wholesale.

The Trioxy-Brillo range is an unreleased range of products that Steele's is planning to release. It's made with a revolutionary kind of metal which has a chemical reaction with water, providing enough heat to heat water from room temperature to boiling in less than 3 seconds. This technology is so lucrative that it attracts the attention of competitor Bisch Herstullung, based in Berlin and led by Herr Wolfgang Bisch, who kidnap the professor responsible for designing the range. He later dies, but leaves behind the detailed blueprints for the products, meaning Steele's can presumably continue with the Trioxy-Brillo range.

As an aside, the Porno team became quite divided by what the Trioxy-Brillo technology is good for. Aside from cooking, a metal which produces incredible amounts of heat when it comes into contact with water would be invaluable for home heating, manned space travel, and energy production as a clean alternative to burning coal to heat water. However, there is also the question of how useful this tech is when applied to cookware: it doesn't allow for any kind of low-temperature cooking, it would burn the moisture in your hands every time you touched it, and it would constantly boil the moisture in the air, making the kitchen very humid.

Other Steele's products mentioned at the Pots and Pan-Pacific Cooking Conference attended by the Glee Team include their Cry-No-More knife, which is a sharp knife that blows air outwards as you cut onions to stop you crying, and the Oxy-Onion 3D Goggles which presumably do something similar.

Steele's also runs a morning radio show, seemingly for and by their employees, with a segment hosted by Head of Marketing Iain Snail.

## Locations

* Head Offices, located in London (including the offices of the Managing Director and International Sales Director and the office of operations)
* Company Factory, located in Scotland

## Appearances

* Season 1 episodes 1-3
* Season 2 episodes 1, 9, 17
* Season 3 episodes 1, 13
* Season 4 episodes 1, 6, 7, 8, 13
* Season 5 episodes 1, 9
* Season 6 episodes 1, 3, 4, 10
* Christmas Pornos 1, 3, 6