Why Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam - And how I'll convince you it sucks (Blog 3)

August 25, 2016

As you can tell already, and obviously, I hate Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam. Which is why this blog wiki needs a billion pages of my hate. So for today, using a full analytical full-fledged page on a professional level taught by a professional professor, I will tell you why it sucks.

As told by my English professor, I can't be poking on both sides when creating an argument. So I have to stick with a side and forcefully shove it up everyone's throats, convincingly too. Maybe then would I be able to tell you guys why you should avoid this game.

So now, as to why Paper Jam sucks and is the worst Mario RPG out there and why you should avoid it immediately. It is a bad game because it uncreatively used Dream Team sprites rather than following a tradition of new slightly altered designs every M&L game. Problem number #1, that is a sign of laziness and just like the Sticker Star team whom decided to work with Color Splash right after the former's release, it was pretty obvious this game went into that direction as well. So expect to see something that is initially worth $40 turned into what is $10 of effort and actual good content.

Problem #2 with the game, it is tedious. Yes, expect to be doing Toad Missions 90% of the time and the other 10% is you making progress. I have never seen a game where Toads have been completely useless. Not only are the Paper Toads cowards and get beaten up by Goombas, but they run away from the sight of you even though they know damn well it's Mario. Yes, Paper Toads create stuff for you in this game, but that still doesn't make up for the time you wasted trying to comfort these guys because they were basically designed to piss you off right at the start. Peach has done more significant things in the NSMB series than these guys have, which says a lot.

The developers of Paper Jam had a "Miiting" on Miiverse. This is a meeting with the developers where you could ask questions of sorts. Guess which questions were taken? Good guess, but my question was never answered. I mean come on, we expected these guys to put the minimal effort in an interview and they delivered more than that! How disappointing. Dumb questions like favorite Mario game or character were supposed to be answered while questions discussing gameplay mechanics and the ideas of this game should have never been answered. Nonetheless, the mature responses were very much positives from what came from a complete negative cycle. But still, one positive does not make up for a thousands of other negatives. As you can see, the cons outweigh the pros and that is why this game is not being recommended.

My other problem is that the game is too boring. People say Dream Team is boring. I say this game is boring. So much talk, so little actual playing, it gets boring. Grassy Plains is one of the lamest areas. You have to fight like 100 Goombas before fighting a new enemy you haven't seen yet. Then the Dull Deserts is even duller. A giant cubed cylinder of nothingness surrounds at least 30% of the game's map. The areas in the desert are long, and stretched out that it is easy to get bored when playing. Beach and Poison spooky ghost jungle levels thankfully improve from giant spaces of nothing, but still don't make up for having you fight the same enemy at least a billion times before fighting a new enemy.

So why this game sucks? It's tedious, boring and an overall lazy experience from the developers. Since it seems like the developers themselves were already aware of these problematic problems, we well hopefully get to see a M&L 6 game where it's back to its roots and we'll hopefully get to see fun gameplay in it. This game gets a -10/10 because it is the worst Mario game I have played for a long time. Long time being for over the last decade.

## Writer's Notes

See how easy it was to convince you why this game sucks? No need of usage of OCs or story. That really doesn't matter as a game can be good without them, but Nintendo have yet to prove that. And I bet they will with Color Splash. I hold high expectations for that game, and if that doesn't deliver, you will obviously see me ranting about it that it will deserve 10 pages of full on rants. And thanks to this ideology from my professor, I am now able to be completely biased on my opinions and I have to forcefully use them for the exchange if someone needs a professional review of a game. At the moment, I think this review is more respectable than IGN's, which I think has the best rating for this game.