The 12 Days of Christmas Rewrite!

## Lyrics

Patton & Roman: On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Virgil: Guys, I'd rather not participa-

Roman: Too late! We're doing it.

Patton & Roman: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Roman: You gotta sing it.

Virgil: I'd really rather just duck out.

Patton: Quack!

Roman: Rocky start, but we can still save this thing!

Patton & Roman: On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Patton: Three small dogs!

Roman: YES!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Roman: No!

Virgil: My fight or flight reflexes are kicking in.

Roman: Bravo, Patton.

Patton: -giggles-

Patton & Roman: On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Roman: Four makeovers!

Patton: Three small dogs!

Virgil: Weird emphasis.

Roman: Well, at least I'm singing!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Roman: Virgil!

Virgil: What?

Roman: Ugh! It's okay, Roman. We'll get through this.

Patton & Roman: On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Patton: Five... name reveals!

Logan: Five?

Roman: Yep. Four makeovers! Yea, Thomas introduced himself.

Patton: Three small dogs!

Logan: That's a stretch, but sure.

Roman: You missed your line.

Virgil: Is it too early to call it?

Roman: Yes, it is! Seven more days!

Patton & Roman: On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Logan: Six songs a sungin'?

Roman: Sure!

Patton: Five... name reveals!

Logan: Is this some sort of punishment for something?

Roman: Four makeovers!

Patton: Three small dogs!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Virgil: I just don't really get it. You know?

Roman: No! I don't know!

Patton & Roman: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Roman: Seven slights at Virgil!

Virgil: Of course.

Logan: Six songs a sungin'.

Roman: Come on, the kids love it, you incredible—!

Patton: Five... name reveals!

Roman: Incredible Sulk! Four makeovers!

Patton: Three small dogs!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Virgil: Like... Why is this my line? I don't understand.

Roman: -sighs-

Patton & Roman: On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Logan: Eight bouts of banter.

Roman: Seven slights at Virgil!

Logan: Six songs-a-sungin'.

Patton: Five... ruined kids' films!

Roman: Patton! Four makeovers! Don't change the lyrics.

Patton: Three small dogs! I'm just so bored of singing the same thing!

Logan: Two two-part vids!

Roman: No rewrites!

Patton & Roman: On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Patton: Nine Patton punchlines!

Logan: Eight bouts of banter.

Roman: Seven slights at Virgil!

Logan: Six crimes against the English language.

Patton: Five... -whispering- second... cookies.

Roman: You jerks! Changing the lyrics!

Patton: Three small cats!

Logan: -rapping- Two two-part vids!

Roman: Are you trying to rap?

Logan: I do not like to sing.

Virgil: You guys just keep talkin'...

Patton & Roman: On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Roman: Ten tie adjustments!

Patton: -misses his line-

Roman: Patton!

Patton: Oh, sorry!

Logan: Patton, I'll trade you my sixth day, for your fifth day.

Roman: NoooOOoo!!!!

Patton: Ha-ha! Sure.

Logan: Excellent. This shall be ideal.

Roman: For what?! Four makeovers!

Patton: Three small dogs!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Virgil: This lyric just doesn't make any sense.

Patton: Come on, Virgil! You can do it!

Patton & Roman: On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Logan: Eleven lit vocab cards.

Roman: Ten tie adjustments!

Patton: Nine Patton punchlines!

Logan: Eight bouts of banter.

Roman: Seven slights at Virgil!

Patton: Six songs-a-sungin'!

Logan: Five... "FALSEHOODS!" phonated.

Roman: Wow... Makeovers!

Patton: Three small dogs!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Roman: Virgil, can your gift to me be singing the line one time?!

Virgil: Fine.

Patton & Roman: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Patton: Twelve mushy moments!

Logan: Eleven -dab- fire slang-words.

Roman: Ten tie adjustments!

Patton: Nine Patton punchlines!

Logan: Eight bouts of banter.

Roman: Seven slights at Virgil!

Patton: Six songs-a-sungin'!

Logan: Five... -riffing- Crofter's jams...

Roman: Four makeovers!

Patton: Three small dogs!

Logan: Two two-part vids.

Virgil: And a truckload of Bubba Gump Shrimp.

Later on...

Roman: And an emo who's now our best...

Logan, Patton, Roman, & Virgil: -harmonizing- Frieeeeeeend!

Patton: OooOooo...