A Mission of Elite Proportions - Transcript

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Chapter 29 - A Mission of Elite Proportions

Angle on Randoms Tower, music starts playing. Cut inside to reveal the entire main cast playing instruments on the cafeteria stage, entertaining the late workers.

Malcom is the singer, Tim and Alex are playing the drums, Paul and P-Sauce are playing guitar, Shade is playing the saxophone, Lily is playing the piano. They finish with a flourish and the entire cafe begins applauding

Malcom

“Thank you! We’ll be here all night!”

Tim

“Gosh we’re so awesome! And with the most recent addition to our status quo P-Sauce!”

P-Sauce

“Heyo!”

Tim

“We’ve never been better!”

Alex

“Seriously! We don’t even need anymore friends. Whatever Jameson, or Ex-Lord, or the sorcerers throw at us next, WE’VE GOT IT!”

They all cheer

P-Sauce

“So cool, what do you think Lily?”

Lily blushes furiously

Lily

“Well- \*she tries leaning on the piano, which collapses beneath her causing her to fall\* WAGH! Ow... \*she gets back up\* That was, wow, sorry, \*long awkward chuckle\*”

Shade

“Dang girl, you got it baaaaaad!”

Malcom

“Heh, wonderful. I’m gonna go to the restroom real quick”

He walks out, but sees a cloaked figure run by

Malcom gets instantly suspicious

Malcom

“Who’s there? Looks like my bladder of steel will have to wait”

He walks slowly through the hall, before a woman bursts from a closet, wearing shades and a trench coat

Mystery woman

“I need your help”

Malcom

“Sally...”

The mystery woman stays quiet

Malcom

“Sally. What’s with the... this?”

Sally

“Never know who could be listening”

Malcom

“If someone is listening, they’re a trusted employee”

Sally

“You don’t know that!”

Malcom

“Actually I do, I interview every one of them using an enchanted lie detector that sets liars in fire, as a Randoms Elite member you should know that”

Sally

“Oh, well I’ve been busy with the whole... Y’know, \*super dramatically\* my life’s mission for the past 15 years!”

Malcom

“Oh lord here we go again”

Intro plays

They walk outside, towards a limo parked nearby

Sally

“So as you know I’ve been fighting Ex-Lord’s forces for the last 15 years, trying to capture him and bring him in for good!”

Malcom

“Yup”

Sally

“But due to unforeseen circumstance after unforeseen circumstance, I have never been able to catch the punk! It’s driving me CRAZY!”

Malcom

“Yup, you mentioned this at Monday’s meetings. You have a tendency to repeat things”

Sally

“I do not! I do not!”

Malcom

“Yup”

Sally

“Whatever! The point is I am THIS CLOSE to busting his whole thing wide open! And you know it’s gonna be gory, dripping with the sweet release of justice!”

Malcom

“Gross”

They climb into the limo

Malcom

“Sally, you never ask for my help unless it’s something super important, what do you need?”

Sally

“A couple months ago Ex-Lord hired a new second in command, Wilson Sharp. He’s worked for some other infamous criminals you may recognize. Anyway, ever since then he’s been the guy getting resources for Ex-Lord, he’s currently on mission to win a poker tournament at the Green Lotus Casino. The prize is, you guessed it, an orb of pure cosmic energy”

Malcom spews out his drink

Malcom

“A WHAT?! There‘s only one of those in Porta City, and its mine! HOW’D A CASINO GET IT?!”

Flashback, Ricardio is talking to the casino owner

Ricardio

“So, fifty grand for Malcom’s weird shiny ball?”

Casino owner

“Yes”

Ricardio

“Alright sweet, I’ll go grab it!”

Cut back

Malcom

“If I catch the mug what did this... it was Ricardio”

Sally

“Yeah it was Ricardio. The reason I need you is because you are a well known businessman, a rich one... and... I need your help to get into the casino”

Malcom

“WHAT! NO! I hate casinos, I don’t do alcohol because I was determined to do the opposite of whatever Ricardio did! I thought this was gonna really cool spy hijinks and stuff!”

Sally

“It’ll still be that, if we have to, only if we have to, we just need to win the tournament, get your sparkle circle back, and then I’ll back to stopping Ex-Lord in peace! (Sadly) If I don’t we’ll just continue to only interact on Monday’s meetings and... all... we’ll-“

Malcom

“Okay fine, let’s do it!”

Sally

“Yes! I knew I could count on you!”

Malcom

“Yup yup yup, let’s do this!”

Wipe transition, the casino. Cool spy movie style text shows up in the corner.

“Green Lotus Casino. 20:32 Hours”

Malcom and Sally pull up, and exit the car. Sally is now wearing a very fancy dress.

Malcom

“There it is Sally, the green lotus casino...”

Sally

“Let’s head in”

They walk up to the entrance, and approach the bouncer

Bouncer

“You want to go in, you’re gonna have to prove to me you’re a rich influencer and not some kinda poor normie”

Sally looks at Malcom sheepishly

Malcom

“And now my purpose”

He pulls out his massive wallet, with golden bars sticking out of the side

Bouncer

“Please enter mister Silva”

Sally

“How’d he know your last name?”

Malcom

“Most people know my last name, I’m not even sure why he needed proof to be honest”

Sally

“Cosplayers”

They enter the casino, the interior is massive. Tables are crowded with people playing poker. The energy ball is resting on a huge pedestal

Malcom

“Where’s our guy?”

Sally

“There”

She points at a man in a white tuxedo, grey haired, one hand obscured

Sally

“Wilson Sharp, Ex-Lord’s stooge... there’s a spot open at that table, time to claim!”

They sit at a table, with some other rich gentlemen. The dealer is in the middle.

Dealer

“Hello my friends, I’m Remus Chipperson. I went to college for eight years, hoping to become a actor... anyway, here are your cards”

He passes out the cards

Remus

“The players are looking at their cards, deciding what to do. They examine the cards carefully, oh man. Ah, miss Sunnington is exchanging hers, jolly good. Alright, the players now reveal what they have and, oh boy, these guys are so quiet, like my old college roommate who would NOT STOP DRUMMING ON THE TABLE! IT WAS SO ANNOYING! Anyway, Malcom has four aces and a king... so... \*smack\* yeah”

Rich guy

“Grr! I’m done with this game forever! I forfeit!”

He stomps off

Remus

“What a baby, like my history teacher. NEWS FLASH MISS ADAMS, NO ONE CARES ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT SOCIAL EQUALITY! Anyway, Malcom moves onto the next round!”

Sally

“Nice!”

Malcom

“Yeah, I hate this. It makes me want to slap Ricardio even more that he made and lost most his money off this stupid game”

Montage time. Malcom dominates all the others, eventually making it to the final round against, you guessed it, Wilson Sharp

Remus

“We’ve reached our final round, between Malcom Silva, and Wilson Sharp. Lot’s of snappy names here, than me... Remus Chipperson, gross... gross...”

Malcom and Wilson sit down, Wilson is hiding a hand behind his back

Malcom

“Hello Mr. Sharp, I’m Malcom Silva”

Wilson smirks

Wilson

“Wilson Sharp, I assume you know why I’m here? I know she does”

He indicates Sally, who flushes

Malcom

“You ain’t getting that orb Wilson... I’m gonna beat you and win it back”

Wilson chuckles

Wilson

“Well if you’re so confident, let’s play!”

Remus

“Dealing the cards”

He hands Malcom and Wilson their cards

Wilson exchanges one, while Malcom keeps his, sticking to his guns.

Remus

“And now... REVEAL YOUR SCORES TO ME THIS EVENING- Sorry, reveal your cards”

Malcom puts his down, two kings, two queens, and a ten. Wilson reveals five aces

Malcom

“WHAT?!”

Remus

“And the winner of the tournament is Wilson Sharp, the man with the coolest name ever!”

Wilson

“Sorry Malcom, tell your brother I said hi!”

Malcom

“You’ve met Ricardio?!”

Wilson

“Yep, he’s an idiot!”

Malcom

“Right?”

Sally

“Malcom! Focus! Get that orb!”

Malcom

“Oh yeah, imma nab that!”

He runs at Wilson, but Wilson reveals his hand finally. It’s mechanical, and has a gun attached to it

Wilson

“Not another step! Ex-Lord’s got big plans for your little company, and he needs this!”

Wilson jumps out a window, shattering the glass

Remus

“Holy cow... this is just like when I found my teacher smoking-“

Malcom

“SALLY LET’S GO!”

They jump out a different window, shattering it as well

Remus

“Really guys? You could’ve used the same window! Probably would’ve been smarter... Ugh... I hate it when that happens... every night... at midnight”

Malcom and Sally land on the ground, only to spot Wilson already driving off

Sally

“Dang it! We missed him!”

Malcom

“No we didn’t, we still have the limo! It’s time for some spy hijinks!”

Cut, Wilson is driving off. His phone rings, he puts it on speaker

Ex-Lord (from phone)

“You got the orb??

Wilson

“You know it! I’m on my way back boss!”

Ex-Lord

“Good, it’s all coming together!”

Wilson notices Malcom and Sally in his window

Wilson

“Hey boss, I’m gonna have to let you go!”

He drives faster, points his hand out of the window and fires at Malcom and Sally

Malcom

“HOLY NUTS!”

Sally

“Speed up, I installed an extra speed!”

Malcom looks down at the stick shift, it’s been crudely extended with the highest level now reading “fayust”

Malcom

“Okay, that’s rad”

He pushes it, they zoom after Wilson

Wilson

“You gotta be kidding!”

They are side to side, on a cliffside road... you know where this is going...

Wilson

“Sorry you two, but you’re gonna take a trip to the afterlife!”

He knocks the side of their car, so they fall

Wilson laughs as he drives off.

Cut to the car falling, slow motion. The rock song that they were singing at the beginning of the episode starts playing. Malcom spots a parachute, and attaches it to Sally’s back, then kicks her out of the window. Her parachute activates, as she watches Malcom fall. The emotional music swelling.

Black

Malcom wakes up in the car crash, coughing

Malcom

“Yep... definitely a good idea to wear body armor”

Sally launches herself at him, hugging him

Sally

“Thank the lord above you’re okay!”

Malcom (struggling)

“Yup, just survived a car crash, ribs are broken!”

Sally

“Oh”

She lets go

Malcom (panting)

“Thank you”

Sally

“Yeah sorry...”

They look over, the sun is rising

Malcom

“So we failed”

Sally

“Eh, it’s not that bad... sure it forwards Ex-Lord’s master plan, and that’s not good... but hey, we got to hang out! Had a classic Malcom/Sally adventure with high stakes and high action!”

Malcom laughs

Sally

“So... how are my kids?”

Malcom

“Our kids... and they’re fine... still don’t know you exist”

Sally

“Good, Ex-Lord hates you enough as it is! If he knew we were married he’d attack Randoms Tower!”

Malcom

“Yep, I know... but paranoid?”

Sally

“Okay mister, ‘don’t make me tea a sorcerer might’ve poisoned it’”

Malcom

“One time”

They both laugh

Malcom

“Well... don’t hesitate to ask for help more... I wanna help you take out Ex-Lord”

Sally

“Well next time I’m have a high stakes, crazy dangerous adventure.... I’ll give you a call!”

Malcom

“Good... I miss ya...”

Sally

“You too...”

They watch the sunrise together

Cut to Wilson, entering some unknown location

Wilson

“Guess who got the energy ball? It was me!”

Ex-Lord reveals himself

Ex-Lord

“Excellent work Wilson! Wasn’t too difficult I assume?”

Wilson

“Pssh! Not remotely! I ran into that Agent S chick again, and she had Malcom with him”

???

“WHO!”

They both look over, Jameson is leaning against the wall with his scepter

Jameson

“If Malcom is already interfering with the plan, then who knows what will go wrong! Malcom’s our number one threat! If we want to win, we have to be smarter than that! We need to take Randoms INC right from under his nose!”

He exits the room, only for an obscene amount of noise to follow, crashing and banging, and an explosion. Wilson looks astonished, and Ex-Lord has a “I’ve been babysitting for too long” kinda look

Jameson

“Why don’t you put a sign that says this is a supply closet? Oh wait I see it now, DANG IT!”

THE END