The Unstealable Car (Michael Paddock)

## Legend Summary

The Unstealable Car is a legend of an individual who owned and admired a luxury car to the point where this individual took major and elaborate precautions to protect this car from robbery and theft. Most considered this car a vintage sports car, but the car has also been mentioned as a corvette, a valuable motorcycle, or a limousine. The most outlandish detail of these precautions is his use of chains to lock the car in thick metal hasps to keep his prize possession in his garage. The individual also used tarps, staples, and locks to ensure the protection of his sports car. One day, upon returning home, this individual found his car still in his garage, completely safe and secured by his chains and locks, but was facing the opposite direction. There was a note left under his wiper blade, which read “if we want this car, we’ll take it” (Mikkelson).

## Legend History

The story of The Unstealable Car can date back to at least the 1970s and has only been traveled by word of mouth. There is no evidence that has brought any proof of the legend’s truth. There was a notable article hinting at the legend, in which the Associated Press “mentioned the incident in an article about car theft,” but was “merely an anecdotal report based on word of mouth ” (Brunvard, Jan Harold. *Encyclopedia*). The article was distributed in September of 1991, and no other news reports or stories have reported or mentioned the legend.

## Adaptations of the Legend

In various adaptations, precautions to secure and protect the automobile vary among stories. What doesn’t vary is that no matter how extreme the owner took these precautions to protect his vehicle, the thief managed to overcome them. In every story however, nothing was taken by the thief, and an anonymous note was left indicating the thief’s return to the owner’s possessions and their ability to attain their possession when they desire. Although the most common adaptation of the legend uses auto theft to frighten the individual, there are some variations in which rearranging furniture rather than a sports car is the aim of the burglars’ intentions. At least one version was mentioned in which a women had her apartment in midtown Manhattan broken into. The apartment was said to be “elaborately burglar-proofed,” but upon returning home she found her “furniture rearranged,” (Mikkelson).  There is another known adaptation recounted by a Florida motorist named David Manly of LoJack Corp. in Needham Massachusetts. In high school, he attended a summer program at Wichita State University, where he was told a story of a man who owned a motorcycle which he parked in the courtyard. Every night, this man chained his motorcycle to a light post using a padlock. As all these stories go, one morning the man found his motorcycle “chained to a different light post,” with a noted attached that read ‘if we want it, we’ll take it,’” (Brunvard, Jan Harold. *Too*). In every adaptation, the thief tampered with the person’s property, but took nothing. The thief would rather leave a note to incite fear and helplessness than take any property that belongs to the owners.

## Analysis of the Adaptations

The majority would view the story of The Unstealable Car more as legend than actual truth. The idea that a thief would exhibit this much effort into overcoming things such as chains, locks, and breaking and entering, just to not take anything of value is unrealistic. The thief would risk discovery and imprisonment to gain nothing. These stories were more told make a point, in that “such tales are an expression of fatalism,” (Mikkelson). A talented thief with enough intent can easily outwit anyone and will take what they want no matter the precautions and security measurements that are established. A highly admired friend of mine once told me, when locking his boat after a day’s fishing trip, that “a lock does no more than keep the honest out.” If a dishonest person is clever enough and has enough intent, a lock won’t keep them out. A lock will, however, keep out your everyday honest person. Under the right circumstances, nobody is immune to temptation. The legend plays into fatalism through the idea that the individual takes all precautions to keep the possession of his car safe from possible criminals, only for the car to still be subject to theft. Fatalism tells us that humans have no influence on the future or the outcome of their own actions. In the outcome of The Unstealable Car, the individual has no influence on the outcome to possible theft and is powerless against thieves no matter the precautions and safety measures taken.

## Work Cited

Brunvard, Jan Harold. *Too Good to be True: The Colossal Book of Urban Legends.* W. W. Norton & Company, 2014.

Brunvard, Jan Harold. *Encyclopedia of Urban Legends, Updated and Expanded Edition.* ABC-CLIO, 2012.

Mikkelson, Barbara. *Theft of Well-Guarded Car.* Snopes Media Group Inc, 1999. https://www.snopes.com.