Duck Bops/Transcript

(The episode begins with Shaduck listening to music in his room rather loudly, when Candle Man bursts in complaining)

Candle Man: Shaduck, turn the volume down!

(However, the music is too loud for Shaduck to hear so Candle Man walks into his room and turns the music completely off)

Shaduck: Hey, I was listening to that!

Candle Man: Well, it was way too loud and some of us are trying to talk through their own plush toys!

Shaduck: Ugh, I’m sure our neighbors would rather hear my sweet music than your daily dose of Teddy Mouse.

Candle Man: Well, it’s way too loud, keep it down.

Shaduck: But you can’t get the full experience when it isn’t piercing through your eardrums!

Candle Man: Then go to a rave, or a concert, or somewhere that isn’t here! THIS IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL CONCERT!

(Candle Man walks out and slams the door)

Shaduck: He doesn’t get it, The Quackerz don’t have concerts anymore. They disbanded after a while and I doubt they’ll get back together any time soon. (Gets an idea) Wait a minute...what if I become a DJ? Then I can blast whatever loud music I want! Alright!

(Cue theme song)

Shaduck: DJ...DJ...DJ…

(Shaduck scrolls through his laptop for open DJ positions)

Shaduck: Aha! (Reading) DJ needed for the Wikia Skating Rink. This is perfect!

(Scene cuts to Shaduck going to the Wikia Skating Rink)

Jackie: May I help you?

Shaduck: Yeah, where do I go to audition for the DJ position?

(Jackie looks at her computer)

Shaduck: So…

Jackie: Sir, did you book an appointment with Mr. Deen?

Shaduck: Who?

Jackie: I thought so.

(The scene cuts back to Shaduck on his laptop)

Shaduck: Well, they’re not gonna want me back after that embarrassment. What else is open?

(Scene cuts back to the Wikia Skating Rink)

Rachel: Hey, mom!

Jackie: Hi, sweetie.

Rachel: How is work going?

Jackie: Well, we had some person trying to interview for a job position but he filled out none of the paperwork!

Rachel: Who was it?

Jackie: Some black duck.

Rachel: A black duck!? Let me see the security cameras!

Jackie: Why?

(Rachel checks the cameras to see Shaduck talking to Jackie)

Rachel: That’s...my boyfriend!

Jackie: That’s your boyfriend!? I thought you could do better than that.

Rachel: He’s my boyfriend and he’s cute.

(Scene switches back to Shaduck, as he looks for more jobs when he gets a phone call from an anonymous number.)

Shaduck: This better not be another scam call from those Spammers!

(He answers it, revealing the caller to be Jackie.)

Shaduck: Hello, who is this?

Jackie: This is Jackie, are you perhaps Shaduck Darkbird?

Shaduck: Oh yes, yes this is Shaduck Darkbird, yes yes, what is it that you want, hm?

Jackie: Are you sure I contacted you or Nom Took?

Shaduck: Oh no no no no, you contacted the right guy.

Jackie: Good. Anyway, do you mind coming here to Wikia Skating Rink in about ten minutes?

Shaduck: Yes ma'am! (Hangs up.) Yay, my first interview!

Candle Man: So, did you get the job?

Shaduck: No, I’m heading off for an interview now!

Candle Man: Well, good luck Shaduck!

Limefong: Jeah!

Mystic: (From her room, being very sarcastic) Hope you get the job so I won’t have to see you again!

Shaduck: Gee, thanks Mystic.

(Scene cuts to Wikia Skating Rink, where Rachel is waiting for Shaduck)

Rachel: Ugh, where is he?!

(The sound of a car screeching is heard before Shaduck crashing the Candle Car right into a wall.)

Rachel: Oh, there he is. About time, Duck!

Shaduck: Hey, Rachel!

Jackie: So, he’s the dude you love?

Rachel: Yes, he is.

Jackie: Anyway, I’ve heard that you’ve wanted to be a DJ?

Shaduck: Of course I wanna be one! I hope I’ll get the job too!

Jackie: Alright then, follow me to Mr. Deen’s office.

Shaduck: Oki doki!

(Jackie leads Shaduck to said office where she knocks on the door and Mr. Deen opens the door)

Mr. Deen: Hm? Oh yes, the interview. Come on in now shadow duck.

(Shaduck walks into the office)

Mr. Deen: So, first, tell me why you would like to work here at the Wikia Skating Rink.

Shaduck: Well, I was always one for music and I thought that I could play some good bops here for people sliding along to jam with!

Mr. Deen: Right...

Shaduck: Sooo… may I get the job?

Mr. Deen: Not quite, I’ll need to ask you some more questions-

Shaduck: UGH.

Mr. Deen: ...May I continue?

Shaduck: Yeah sure, carry on.

(The rest of the interview is muffled and unable to be heard correctly. Finally the conversation can be heard again.)

Mr. Deen: Well, I think you’d be a very good DJ for this skating rink. It’s between you and some coffee pot droid, but she seems more like a substitute.

Shaduck: So do I get the job?

Mr. Deen: You do. Congratulations. Please follow me to the rink where you will be playing your music!

Shaduck: Yaya!

(They both walk there)

Mr. Deen: Now, the rink will be open in an half an hour, I suggest you sort your music selection until it opens, good luck.

(Mr. Deen leaves Shaduck to his playlist.)

Shaduck: Let’s see what music they have here…

(Shaduck reads through the list.)

Shaduck: This is all garbage music! Guess I need to put something of my own!

(Shaduck plugs a cable from his phone into the computer and uploads his music from the band “The Quackerz” onto the file system.)

Shaduck: Perfect! Now we have some real music to play!

(The sound of his phone is heard, it’s from Candle Man. He answers the phone call.)

Candle Man: (Over the phone) Hey, Duck, did you get the job? Me, Limefong and Mystic are dying to know! Did you?!

Shaduck: I’m not the Duck you once knew, I would rather be called D.J. Shaduck.

(Excited screaming from Candle Man and Limefong are heard from the phone. The sound of a party popper firing is heard.)

Mystic: Thank god I won’t have to see his face for another few hours…

Shaduck: Um, okay.

Candle Man: What are you gonna play?

Shaduck: Just some great music.

Candle Man: Coolio!

Shaduck: I have to go now.

Candle Man and Limefong: Byeeeee!

(Shaduck hangs up.)

Shaduck: Now all I have to do is wait for this music to download.

(Rachel enters the rink and goes up to Shaduck.)

Rachel: Hey, Ducky!

Shaduck: Hey. Listen, how do you like this music?

(He plays a song that sounds like “Animals” by Martin Garrix but the music is replaced by ducks quacking.)

Rachel: Uh..are you sure that’s the best music to play when you're most likely the only duck in the entire town?

Shaduck: I’m sure it’ll be fine!

(A ping is heard, the songs have finished downloading onto the laptop)

Shaduck: Sweet, the songs are done downloading!

Rachel: It’s just ducks quacking though it. It’s not very catchy…

Shaduck: It doesn’t need to be catchy, just something to jam to!

Rachel: I know but will the rest of the town like it?

Shaduck: Would you rather listen to the default songs on there?

Rachel: I actually never gave them a listen before. Could I?

Shaduck: Uh...playing music over others downloading slows it down!

Rachel: But you just did!

Shaduck: Ones that have just been downloaded… uh, don’t count?

Rachel: Alright, if you say so. (Kisses Shaduck on the cheek) See you around, sugar!

Shaduck: See you later!

(Rachel walks out of the room as half an hour goes by, the music has been fully downloaded as a skater walks in)

Shaduck: Finally, welcome! Be ready to have your skates blown off by my bops!

Skater #1: I sure hope so! Come on guys!

(Several other skaters enter the room and start skating as Shaduck plays “Animals” by the Quackerz.)

Skater #2: Ew, what is this?

Shaduck: Only the best music ever!

Skater #3: It’s literally just ducks quacking.

Shaduck: I know right, so beautiful!

Skater #1: I thought you said this would blow our skates off, all this is doing is making my ears ache!

Shaduck: Give it a few more minutes, it won’t be bad!

(A few minutes later, the skaters slide around the rink quite grumpy)

Shaduck: Woo! So good, right?

Skater #1: Uh, no. Not really.

Shaduck: What? Really?

Skater #1: Yeah, really.

Skater #2: Could you play some music that is actually good, I’ll pay you.

Shaduck: But...but I don’t know what you're talking about, that was the best music ever!

Skater #3: Like I said, it is literally just ducks quacking, that ain’t music, maybe to a duck but we’re not.

Shaduck: Don’t diss The Quackerz’s music! Get out!

Skater #1: Fine then, peace.

(The skaters walk out as Jackie runs into the room)

Jackie: Hey, duck boy, what happened? Those skaters weren’t here for five minutes. Were they causing trouble?

Shaduck: Well, they did diss my music by saying it isn’t music, and that it isn’t good!

Jackie: But the last time I checked everyone loved Two Ways and 100 hours of Christmas.

Shaduck: Who? I just played The Quackerz.

Jackie: What? What’s The Quackerz?

Shaduck: You don’t know the Quackerz? They’re the best band EVER! Here, let me play some for you.

(This time he plays The Flintstones theme but it’s ducks quacking the music.)

Jackie: Uh, not to be rude, but… uh, it’s just ducks quacking. No offense to your kind or whatever.

Shaduck: Then learn how to speak Duckenese then!

Jackie: I advise you to play music in this language that everyone knows.

Shaduck: Fine, I’ll play some of their original tracks.

(The scene cuts to later. Skaters are staring awkwardly at Shaduck, who is proud of himself for playing The Duck Song and then back to Jackie, slamming the door open)

Jackie: What now?

Shaduck: The duck song…

Jackie: I- (facepalms) Play the tracks listed under the category “Popular”.

Shaduck: Uh, I can’t.

Jackie: Why not?

Shaduck: They just...disappeared.

Jackie: What do you mean they just disappeared?

Shaduck: The computer had a virus…

Jackie: You didn’t delete them, did you?

Shaduck: No…

Jackie: Fine, but do you have any songs that don’t have any relations to ducks?

Shaduck: (Sigh)...yes…

(Shaduck plays “Chicken Attack”.)

Jackie: NO!

(Shaduck plays the “Chicken Song”.)

Jackie: No.

(Shaduck is about to press on the keyboard playing “Never Gonna Make You Fly” but Jackie stops him)

Jackie: Look, I get you’re into bird music but maybe let’s stick to something people will actually like…

Shaduck: (sighs) I understand.

Jackie: Why don’t we find something we can both agree on?

Shaduck: Alright then…

(A montage is played with the background music being the songs they pick, they constantly bicker and disagree until they get to “Addict”, a song they both like.)

Jackie: A pop song is always the best for these things.

Shaduck: I do like the rhythm and the beat.

Jackie: Now we need to set up the rest of the list.

Shaduck: Oh…

(The scene cuts to the Candle Friends)

Limefong: The Grand Theft OSTs are pretty cool! Maybe I should be a DJ....

Candle Man: Eh, let me hear them.

(Limefong plays one)

Candle Man: This is just men talking!

Limefong: Wait for it…

(A slow beat plays)

Candle Man: Hmm, I expected something more from a game about crime but I guess it’s for a game, not a band.

Mystic: At least we can get some peace and quiet…whilst I listen to some rock and some of that sweet techno.

(Mystic plugs some earphones in from her phone but they immediately get blasted out, as a wave of music comes from the Wikia Skating Rink.)

Mystic: What the flip?! THIS ISN’T MY MUSIC!!

Limefong: Shaduck must be playing his music pretty loud...

Mystic: NO DUH HE IS!

Candle Man: It’s all right. He’ll stop in a few hours.

(Cuts to night time. Shaduck is still at the rink and playing his music so loud, dogs are howling.)

Baghead: (offscreen) SHUT UP!

(More voices start clamoring. Meanwhile, Candle Man lays wide-eyed in his bed, Teddy Mouse beside him.)

Candle Man: Ugh, WHY WON’T HE STOP?!

(Limefong opens the door to Candle Man’s room, then falls face first into the carpeted floor.)

Limefong: (muffled) I can’t even sleep…

Mystic: He stopped playing regular music and started playing a 40 hour loop of the Chicken Song! We will never get sleep if he continues with this!

(The scene cuts to the rink, all the Skaters have left but Shaduck is still listening to his loud music when Jackie comes in again)

Jackie: Sh- (notices how loud the music is) AAAA! SHADUCK!

(Shaduck doesn’t hear Jackie, Jackie tries to move her way to the speakers but a wave of audio pushes her back)

Jackie: Gosh darn it, it’s way too loud! I can’t even talk to him!

(Scene changes to show many characters trying to find some form of sleep, including the Side 5 and Luna, the Peppa Pig characters, Dewey Duck, Jeremy, and even the Moose buddies.)

Luna: MAKE THE SUFFERING STOP!

Mystic: I’m so tired I feel like I’m going to go insane!

Candle Man: We need to make him stop...but how when we are so..(yawn)...tired?

Limefong: I’m so tired I can’t even think straight…

(As the music continues, Candle Man, Limefong and Mystic continue to spiral into madness, the three are heard groaning as they try to block out the ruckus, but nothing works)

Candle Man: We have to tell Duck to stop! (whips out his phone and calls Shaduck, he answers)

Shaduck: HEY GUYS, I MADE THE MUSIC SUPER LOUD SO YOU GUYS CAN HEAR TOO!

Candle Man: Uh, yeah. We could tell...and we were wondering if you could turn it down a notch…

Shaduck: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Candle Man: I SAID I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD TURN IT DOWN A NOTCH!

Shaduck: HUH? I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY AWESOME MUSIC! YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEAK UP!

Candle Man: I SAID- (Candle Man’s phone explodes) AH!

Mystic: Why not off Shaduck? We’d finally be able to get some sleep. (She looks at the playlist she has on her phone) Especially with some of the stuff I listen to compared to Ducc’s stuff...so yeah, I’d say killing him off for sure.

Candle Man and Limefong: NO!

Mystic: I’M JUST GOING INSANE FROM THE MUSIC, YOU CAN’T BLAME ME...unless I’m the only one out of us who is going insane.

Candle Man: Yeah, the music is annoying, but we aren’t offing our friend just to make the music stop.

Limefong: Yep, we aren’t doing that.

(Mystic groans, her eyes flicking constantly from purple to red, trying to keep her two sides of a hybrid under control.)

Mystic: (In a cranky voice) I actually want to go back to Galaxia Omega or blow my ears out...

Limefong: So, how are we going to stop this that doesn’t revolve around murder in any form?

Candle Man: How about just convincing Shaduck to stop his music from being this loud?

Mystic: WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET HIM TO STOP I DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS, I JUST NEED THAT MUSIC TO STOP BEFORE I GO FULLY INSANE!

Luna: YEAH! MAKE IT STOP!

Candle Man: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! Let’s (Yawn) get this over with...

Limefong: I’ll bet we could stop him if we can find a way to wake ourselves up.

Mystic: How?

(Scene changes to the kitchen.)

Limefong: We could make some coffee.

Candle Man: No dice. Baghead bought up the entire stock for his droid.

Mystic: Now what, then?
Limefong: How about soda? (Opens the fridge.) We have Salt PHD, Jumpstart, Orange Crunch...

Mystic: I’m not really a soda person, and besides, I’m sure I have my own method of recharging.

Candle Man: Jumpstart?

Limefong: Jeah! It exists mainly to wake people up!

Candle Man: Pour me a cup.

Mystic: I guess I’ll try some too.

(Limefong grabs three cups and pours Jumpstart into all three of them.)

Limefong: Cheers.

(They all clink glasses and sip. Suddenly, all three stand up straight and are wide-eyed.)

Mystic: Woah, I feel more active now.

Candle Man: I FEEL LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Limefong: Wanna take the car to the Wikia Skating Rink?!

Candle Man: NO, LET’S RUN TO THE SKATING RINK! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

(They all zoom out the door. Scene changes to Shaduck, who is still listening to the Chicken Song at max volume.)

Shaduck: Eh, I’m kinda bored of that one.

(He changes the song to “Animals” by the Quackerz. Suddenly, the Candle Car crashes through the wall, Candle Man at the wheel.)

Candle Man: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

(He jumps out of the car and onto the roof of the car. Limefong and Mystic.)

Limefong: Weird how our large jumpstart wore off, but his keeps going.

Mystic: He must’ve been very tired if he’s this hyper.

Shaduck: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?!

Mystic: Oh, we are here to crash the party.

Shaduck: WHAT?!

Mystic: Oh, he can’t hear me. I SAID YOU NEED TO TURN IT OFF!

Limefong: Uh, Mystic?

Mystic: Not now, Limefong!

Shaduck: WHY DO I NEED TO TURN IT OFF?!

Mystic: BECAUSE YOUR MAKING THE WHOLE TOWN UNABLE TO SLEEP!

Limefong: Mystic?

Mystic: NOT NOW, LIMEFONG!

Shaduck: IF THEY CAN’T APPRECIATE MY MUSIC, THEY DON’T DESERVE TO SLEEP!

Mystic: THEY APPRECIATE IT, THEY JUST NEED TO SLEEP!

Limefong: Mystic!

Mystic: WHAT?!?!

Limefong: CANDLE MAN’S GONE!

(Mystic turns around and finally notices.)

Mystic: WHERE DID HE GO NOW?

(Mystic and Limefong see Candle Man is on the ice.)

Candle Man: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

(Candle Man starts sliding towards the DJ booth, but he doesn’t notice.)

Mystic: CANDLE MAN! LOOK OUT!

Candle Man: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA-

(He crashes into the booth, smashing it and stopping the music.)

Shaduck: MY MUSIC!

Mystic: Shaduck, you were supposed to stop playing hours ago.

Shaduck: But why? I thought everyone liked this music!

Mystic: Well that’s not the case.

Limefong: Mystic, let me speak to him in a language he understands. (To Shaduck) When music loud, music go bang-bang in people’s ears, so no sleepy! It make people mad-mad!

Shaduck: Then why didn’t you say so in the first place?

Limefong: BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO GET MYSTIC TO NOTICE CANDLE MAN!

(...who is still face first in the wrecked DJ booth.)

Shaduck: Okay, I understand. From now on, when I’m the DJ here, I will play music at a lower volume and stop when the rink is closed!

Jackie: Oh no, you don’t.

(Everyone but Candle Man turns to face Jackie.)

Jackie: Shaduck’s fired!

Shaduck: Well, I had it coming to me, as Lime explained.

Mystic: Finally you admit your issues! Because you should really apologize to everyone.

(Mystic moves out of the way to reveal everyone who has been awake has gathered at the hole the Candle Car made in the wall.)

Shaduck: Yeah, sorry guys. I toootally went too far.

Everyone: We reluctantly accept your apology.

(Everyone leaves, leaving the Main 4 and Jackie at the rink.)

Jackie: Not to mention the destruction your friend made to the DJ booth and the wall! That’s coming out of your paycheck!

Shaduck: Deal.

Mystic: So, should we leave Candle Man where he is, or…

(They notice how Candle Man is asleep in the destruction he made.)

Limefong: I’d rather we keep him there, jeah.

(Everyone but Candle Man leaves. Cuts to the next day, where everyone is in the living room.)

Shaduck: We’ll, I’m never doing that again. Looks like I’m staying here.

Mystic: You better not do it again, unless you want me to burst.

Limefong: What do you mean by “burst”?

Candle Man: Doesn’t matter. Anyway, did they ever fix that damage?

Shaduck: Yeah, they fixed that hole in the wall and the DJ booth!

Mystic: Well at least we know never to give Candle Man that soda again.

Candle Man: And to not let Shaduck be a DJ.

Limefong: But wait, there’s still one more question.

Everyone else: What’s that?

Limefong: Who’s the new DJ?

(Cuts to the rink, where C0F-3 sits in the DJ chair. She grabs the microphone.)

C0F-3: Listen up, rinkers! I’m DJ Caffeinated, and it’s time to rock your world!

(She starts playing the techno part of “Empire Ants.” Zooms out on her. The episode ends.)