The Cum Zone

**The Cum Zone** is the name given to an undetermined other dimension, first explored by Jim Boffa. A portal to the Cum Zone first opened on the 31st of February 1983 at the tip of Southend Pier, and has since remained dormant. It is listed as a Grade C anomaly by the Jim Boffa Foundation. It is hypothesised the opening of the portals to this dimension resulted in the 2003 deviancy crisis.

### Appearance

The Cum Zone has never been experienced by human eyes, but is theorized to contain high amounts of an unknown, corrosive sticky fluid called 'Cumacid'. This fluid was found on Jim Boffa upon his birth. Eye witnesses described the portal appearing as horrifying. All eye witnesses committed suicide within a year of witnessing The Cum Zone through the portal.

### Jim Boffa Foundation Rating

Originally, The Cum Zone was graded A due to it's suicidal effects on all eye witnesses. However, it has only appeared once, leading the Jim Boffa Foundation's CEO, Sharpitus Plus, to move the grading down to a C in 1999. This was highly controversial at the time, plaguing the Foundation and leading to a lack of donations due to it's removal as a Charity. However, after September 11th, 2001, this was returned as they claimed 'George Bush' as the greatest anomaly since Jim Boffa.

### Media References

* In 'Kulad Ju: The Final Movie', the penultimate instalment of the KJCU (Kulad Ju Cinematic Universe), Johnny Sins mentions The Cum Zone, mentioning that the key is 'in his dick'.
* Famous poet Zanzabar Da'Gren wrote about The Cum Zone in 2011:

*'You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.'*

On 6th January 2021, Jim Boffa famously ironically stormed the US House of Representatives, wielding a banner displaying Zanzabar Da'Gren's timeless words.

* Guy Fieri has a famous dish in his restaurant named, 'The Cum Zone Quartet'. It is controversial due to the use of actual horse semen.