Pacific Rim Pitch Meeting

* Main
* Transcript

**Pacific Rim Pitch Meeting** is the eighteenth episode of the Pitch Meeting series on Screen Rant.

## Description

The great things about Pacific Rim is that the story doesn't matter. Like, at all. But in case you're curious, giant Kaiju monsters are coming out of a hole in the ocean floor called the breach, so humanity decides to build these giant mech robots to fight them. Generic Action Hero's brother gets killed in action, and he gets really sad. Years later the government decides to stop funding the Jaeger project that builds those giant mechs, but the Kaiju return. The reinstate the Jaeger project and a lot of punching ensues. That's pretty much it.

## Cast

* Producer Guy - Ryan George
* Screenwriter Guy - Ryan George

**Producer Guy:** So you have a new script for me?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yes sir I do. It's called *Pacific Rim*.

**Producer Guy:** And what's the story?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well actually that's the great thing about this concept; the story doesn't really matter.

**Producer Guy:** What do you mean?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Okay, check this out. The movie has giant robots fighting giant monsters.

**Producer Guy:** *[stunned]* Oh my god.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah so story-wise, there's this guy and his brother and they have this bond that allows them…

*[Screenwriter Guy's voice fades out as Producer Guy vividly daydreams about the awesomeness of giant robots fighting giant monsters]*

**Screenwriter Guy:** -but then the guy's brother's gonna die, and- *[notices Producer Guy looking around as he hallucinates]* Sir? Sir?

**Producer Guy:** *[snaps back to reality and clears his throat]* Yes.

**Screenwriter Guy:** *[knowingly]* You didn't hear any of the story stuff I said, didja?

**Producer Guy:** No, I guess I was just thinking about robots fighting monsters.

**Screenwriter Guy:** And how cool it is?

**Producer Guy:** And how cool it is, exactly!

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yep, that's what I was saying. The story doesn't really matter here.

**Producer Guy:** Wow, okay. I mean, guide me through it anyway, just so I know.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Of course, so humans have made these giant robots and-

*[Producer Guy has immediately become lost in his daydreaming again]*

**Screenwriter Guy:** Sir?

**Producer Guy:** *[snapping back]* Yes, sorry. I'm good.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So in the movie there's a portal called the Breach at the bottom of the ocean, and these giant monsters called Kaiju come out from there and destroy cities.

**Producer Guy:** Wow.

**Screenwriter Guy:** And so all the humans pool their resources together to build giant robots so they can… you know, punch them. In- In their faces.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, they kill the monsters by punching them?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, actually, the punching doesn't do much at all. They almost always end up killing them with plasma cannons.

**Producer Guy:** *[confused]* Huh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** What's up?

**Producer Guy:** Well it just feels like if the cannons kill them and the punching doesn't really do anything, then they should just set up cannons next to the Breach, right?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well, it's not *just* cannons.

**Producer Guy:** Oh?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Sometimes they use swords.

**Producer Guy:** Like sharpened blades?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Right.

**Producer Guy:** So again, they could just put sharpened blades over the Breach?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, I see what you're saying.

**Producer Guy:** The monsters would come out and it would be like a Kaiju paper shredder.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, those are all valid points, but the thing about this movie is that none of the characters are gonna solve their problems in ways that… you know, make sense.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, how come?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well because none of the logical solutions involve giant robots punching giant monsters.

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, I guess that's no fun.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Exactly. We want those punches.

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, I gotcha. So does anything else happen in the movie, or, is it all punching?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh no, there's also some random story stuff.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, do tell.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well the main character in this movie is this guy named Generic Action Hero.

**Producer Guy:** His name is Generic Action Hero?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah so for casting I figure you could get like, a generic action hero.

**Producer Guy:** I know the perfect guy.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh yeah?

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, his name is Charlie Hunnam.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Is he a generic attractive white guy with muscles?

**Producer Guy:** He is!

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well that'll work!

**Producer Guy:** Great.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So anyway, he and his brother ride a Jaeger together 'cause they're drift-compatible.

**Producer Guy:** Ohhh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah.

**Producer Guy:** So is that like a sex thing, or-

**Screenwriter Guy:** No no no. See, you need two people that are very in-sync mentally to control the robots, like usually it's family members.

**Producer Guy:** Why do you have to be two people?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well 'cause the movie needed some conflict so I made up some random rules.

**Producer Guy:** Fair enough.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So anyway, Generic Action Hero's brother gets killed in action, so he gets sad.

**Producer Guy:** Wait, killed in action? Don't they operate the robots remotely?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, they're inside of them.

**Producer Guy:** So they have all this crazy technology but they couldn't figure out how to operate the robots without being in them?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Apparently not.

**Producer Guy:** Okay.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So anyway, years later the government decide to stop funding the Jaeger program and instead they just build some walls.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, is it gonna be hard for the Kaiju to get through those?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, it's gonna be super easy, barely an inconvenience.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, really?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah well I mean these things destroy cities so… obviously putting up a wall doesn't work.

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, that makes sense. Why did they think that would work?

**Screenwriter Guy:** I don't know.

**Producer Guy:** Huh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So this army guy is like "Well let's get the Jaeger program going again and drop a nuke in the Breach.".

**Producer Guy:** Oh yeah, they're gonna drop a nuke in the Breach huh? Is that like a sex thing?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, it's not.

**Producer Guy:** Oh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So he gets Generic Action Hero back in the program and he has to find him a new partner.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, is it gonna be hard to find someone who's drift-compatible?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, it's gonna be super easy, barely an inconvenience.

**Producer Guy:** Really?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, turns out that army dude's adopted daughter is a perfect match.

**Producer Guy:** That is convenient.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Very convenient.

**Producer Guy:** Wow.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So anyway, they do a whole lot of monster punching and then they blow up the Breach.

**Producer Guy:** Very cool.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So, any questions?

**Producer Guy:** Well first off I just wanna be sure of one thing. We're gonna destroy the Golden Gate Bridge, right?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh yeah, of course. That thing's going down right away.

**Producer Guy:** Awesome; I hate that bridge!

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, most studio people I speak to really hate that thing.

**Producer Guy:** It is the worst!

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, apparently.

**Producer Guy:** So anyway, if they manage to close the Breach at the end, isn't that gonna make it tough for us to make a sequel?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well I figure robots punching monsters for one movie is okay but more than that's kind of a stretch.

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, I guess that would be really overkilling it.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, I'd say so.

*[cut to headline: **Pacific Rim 2 Gets Early 2018 Release Date**]*