Episode 3: Train Heist

**Train Heist** is the third episode of Campaign 1. An unbelievable landing! The crew of Old Bessie discuss their future branding potential, and then nail the single most dangerous landing ever, wedging the cantankerous old fishing boat in between giant glass tanks of incredibly volatile fuel! We’ll pick up next with a party divided having skipped the whole dungeon… or have they?

## **Synopsis**

> Welcome to my kingdom of Health Hits Experience! I am your Dungeon Master Britty Lea and these are my knights of the round Health Hits Experience.
>
> Britty Lea

The episode opens with a broadcast advertising Walgar's Wares. After the commercial concludes, a news report airs, detailing the recent Golden Blaze raid on Zalarian orphan Bjounes Grett.

The crew continue to plan their upcoming raid on the Virtuos Hypertrain. They review the information from Oomal and discuss various plans and options. Even 0tt0 pitches in with a solution, which is summarily rejected. They eventually decide that they will match speed with the train and connect to the cars via Flux's steel defender.

Before they commit to their greatest heist so far, Cyrus suggests that the crew should make this their official debut as a pirate crew. Flux reveals that he is wanted by the Zalarian Empire, so this may not be the best idea. Cyrus points out that attention will be unavoidable if they accomplish their goal. Nonetheless, Heironymous and P.E.A.R.L agree that now is not the time to come out as pirates.

Cyrus slingshots Old Bessie around the Star Vivarium and maneuvers to match speed with the slowing train. Flux and 377 jump to the train, but end up trapped between the fuel tanks of car 500. PEARL jumps down after them and attempts to rescue their fallen comrades.

With plan A going up in smoke and time to the next hyperjump running out, Cyrus deploys Old Bessie's landing gear and tries to land on car 500. With a clutch and wildly improbable critical success, Cyrus manages to wedge the landing gear neatly between the fuel cells and secure Old Bessie to the train just before the whole thing leaps back into hyperspace.

Their epic landing garners some attention, but none willing to confront them. PEARL jacks into the train's mainframe and gains extensive information on their position. She points out to the party that since they are stealing the lynchpin hyperdrive regulator, the entire train will fall out of hyperspace and they will surely be discovered when they take it.

After conferring briefly on next steps, the party divides and conquers. Flux and PEARL head toward the cargo car in order to pick up Oomal's merchandise and Cyrus and Heironymous remain in the engine room of car 501, pretending to be victims of a very real ship crash.

Passing through car 499, Flux and PEARL discover it to be the baggage car. Operating on an unspoken agreement of petty theft, the two loot through several suitcases but discover nothing of significant note. Flux confronts PEARL regarding her perceived dislike of him and the conversation quickly takes an awkward turn because neither of them know how to have a normal conversation.

The party is split and the con is on. Tune in next week for Episode 4!

## **Quotations**

* **Cyrus**: "I don't do orders."

* **Ian**: "I'm not joking, this is the worst I've ever rolled in my life."

* **Flux**: "Welcome to the party, things didn't go as planned."

* **Cyrus, after landing Old Bessie on a moving train**: "I told you I could fly real well."

* **Flux**: "PEARL, do you have any sort of statistical computers in your mind that tell us what the odds of that were?"
* **PEARL**: "I don't think you'd like to know."

* **Flux**: "That's actually the thing I'm good at, believe it or not."
* **Heironymous**: "I knew you had to be good at something."
* **Flux**: "I am going to shoot you."
* **Heironymous**: "Given how you're rolling, I'm not too terrified."

* **Rob**: "Technically, everyone is squishy except Cyrus."

* **Flux**: "I don't like organic life."
* **PEARL**: "I am not organic."
* **Flux**: "I know, which means you're above everyone else."

* **Flux**: "He has a name! It's 377."
* **Heironymous**: "Technically, that's a number."
* **Flux**: "It's his name."

## **Trivia**

* Liz rolled with advantage to land Old Bessie; the other roll was a critical failure.
* Flux finds melted ice cream and a suitcase full of sports balls for a Zalarian children's team during his looting of the baggage car.
* P.E.A.R.L. finds an MP3 player (which she takes for Cyrus) and a Plasma Fangs commemorative acrylic crowbar (which she throws overboard) during her looting of the baggage car.
* After a couple of episodes of just calling it 'the crab', Flux finally names his steel defender: 377.