Song of Belban

> The song of belban details St Thorric’s trials and tribulations.  Truly he understands our suffering, for he suffered as well.
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### Chapter 1

Raised in a secretive and forested coastal village, inhabited exclusively by his relatives, near Kingsport, Belban, or Belban the Bold or Belban Dreamborn as he occasionally insists people call him, grew up in a family of loggers and fisherman. Belban's family was in fact divided by their professions, and a fierce rivalry had developed as a result with the two halves often engaging in bloody village wide brawls over the superior career choice.

Belban was born into the fishing side of the family, but after one bloody skirmish in the town square both his mother and father were killed by his second cousin five times removed. After his parents death, Belban was captured and forced into a life of woodworking and logging amongst his enemies. Sent out into the woods each day with an axe and told to go get wood, he despised the conflict seeing it for he lunacy that it was.

Why argue over which career was better? Both fisherman and logger were clearly inferior to the great career of sailing, and it was Belban's intention to found a third faction, and break the bloody civil war dividing his family. Saving up and stealing enough money for a small trading boat, Belban fled town in the dead of night for Kingsport, and purchased the only vessel he could find. A little ship named the Limp Paddle Dog, which smelled of vomit and lacked a proper steering wheel, instead relying upon a custom built rope and pulley system, which the old captain taught Belban to use.

Paying the man on the spot, Belban sailed the ship back to his family village. As he sailed into port he realized all to quickly as water lapped at his ankles that he had been scammed. Screeching for help from the various fisherman out in the bay, he narrowly escaped drowning as the Limp Paddle Dog sunk beneath the waves. Saved from death, Belban vowed to never step foot out at sea again, before immediately abandoning it because of his forgetful nature.

When the bloodiest of brawls broke out in town. During the fray Belban was forced to smash his own great uncle's head in with a stolen fishing pole, when the crazy elderly man came at him with a large fish hook. Praised for his heroic nature by the loggers, Belban was treated like a war hero for a few hours, before the fisherman decided to seek vengeance. As the little man left the tavern where celebrations were being had, the fisherman descended on him. Whistling an old tune he had heard in childhood, Belban was taken by surprise as a net fell atop him only a few feet from the door. Screeching for aid from the loggers, Belban received none, despite the door still being open and him lying in the mud outside blatnatly within sight, as they were to drunk to hear his cries for aid. Clawing and biting at the net like a wild animal, he hissed at his captors, all seventy of them as they funneled out from between the buildings to mock him in his moment of weakness. Screaming loudly, he cried out like a wounded beast for someone, anyone's help, but no one came. It was then that his own grandmother smacked him over the head with her club, and everything went dark.

Awakening hours later, Belban came to upside down above a pool of big grey piranha, squeaking up at him with their rubbery grey skin and bulbous noses. How the fisherman had obtained such a vast supply of the typically fresh water fish in a coastal town confused him deeply and he pondered it for several minutes as the fisherman lectured him about his origin as a fisherman and let him go, instructing him that he was now returned to them. Belban heard none of this,however, as he was to enthralled with the piranha mystery to listen carefully. He remembered reading a book about piranha as a small child and learning a great deal about them, it had been written by an old long dead second cousin of his who had been an adventurer. Not listening to his fisherman relatives, Belban returned to the logging celebrations a few minutes later only to be apprehended once more by a mob of fisherman later in the evening.

Hanging limply above the piranha, the fisherman once more lectured him, only to be cut off suddenly by Belban and his questioning of the piranhas. From his interrogation of them as he hung upside down, Belban deduced that the fisherman had purchased the piranha from a traveling animal salesman. At this point the fisherman continued their explanation that he was once again a fisherman and not a logger.

But Belban once more returned to the loggers and was for a third time that night captured as he left the celebration. Hanging upside above the piranha, Belban would fall asleep as his relatives explained to him the situation. Waking up the next morning, Belban found himself alone and upside down. Yawning, he realized everything that happened last night must have been a dream, since it had occurred at night. This misconception of time and night was common amongst his village and had often led to serious issues for many of its inhabitants in their every day lives. Belban himself had been born at night, and like several other children in the village, been labeled a Dreamborn child.

Convinced he had dreamed the piranha the night before, Belban wiggled in his ropes until the snapped and he fell head first into the water. Screeching in fright at the cold temperature of the sea water, he flailed madly in the water and crawled to shore. Where the piranha had gone remains a mystery in town to this day as the fisherman had in fact left them in the water, but they had disappeared the next morning.

Returning to the Loggers once more Belban returned to work as one of them, working all through the day and only being reminded of his conversion to the fisherman that evening. Belban argued, however, that since his capture had been a dream it was not real, and thus the fisherman were forced by their own law to allow him to remain a logger.

Later in the day another battle would occur after a logger sneezed on a fisherman in passing. twenty people would die that day. This bloodbath was enough to convince Belban that he needed to escape the village. Commandeering a cow, Belban mounted it and led it out of the village. Riding it all the way to Kingsport, he would stay in a small inn for a few short days. But when a horde of his relatives came to get him, having tracked the hoof prints of the cow, he realized Kingsport was not far enough. The horde of relatives, led by his uncle, would demand the guards turn Belban over within 3 minutes or face their wrath, but the guards would refuse, stating there was simply no way to go and find him in a city of Kingsport's size within that time. As a result forty of Belban's relatives would die attempting to smash down Kingsport's walls with small crude cudgels and tree branches. None but Belban would truly be able to comprehend what exactly had occurred and the event would be forgotten quite quickly.

Belban would find work on board a trade ship as a midwife by bluffing his way into the job. Luckily the only pregnant person board, would pass away from sun stroke 12 days into the journey and Belban's lie was never found out. Where exactly they were heading was a mystery to Belban though, as he had never seen a map before. Several weeks out at sea the boat would sink in a great hurricane, however, and Belban would be castaway upon a desolate island with no trees or wood to build a raft. Stranded for days, Belban survived off of the island's small population of tropical crabs and fish and aligned himself with its larger, but far more helpless population of hedgehogs. Crowning himself their god, Belban united the hedgehogs into a single pen he built of rocks and ruled over them benevolently for his stay on their island.  28 days later, Belban would be lounging on the beach awaiting death, when he heard a loud squeaking coming from the surf. Looking up at it, he was shocked to see the piranha from the village months ago. Confused as to how they were alive in saltwater, Belban attempted to question them, but upon getting no answer realized they were here to rescue him. Fetching his 4 favorite hedgehogs and a handful of the salvaged supplies from the trade ship, he ran to the piranhas and jumped onto one's back, grabbing onto its rubbery skin and taking off into the sea. Unfortunately the 4 hedgehogs would drown on the trip aboard the piranha, a side effect of them being trapped within Belban's backpack which was slightly below the water.
Belban was carried to another island upon their backs and believed for several days that it was the mainland, before realizing it was just a slightly better island for him to run out of food on.

### Chapter 2

I woke up upon a strange beach. Lost and confused. This place looked nothing like my home, where the hell was my village, or anyone for that matter. Every where I looked grassy mounds grew up out of the sand and rolling hills took off into the distance. I spent the night in a bush, cowering as hurricane winds blew across the island.

The next day I noticed giant floating monsters. They shot gas from themselves which looked like it boiled beach life alive.
I went south, though I did not know it at the time. The next day I came across glowing fish, flailing in the water at the base of a cliff. Strange footprints of a dragon led down a dirt path. This island is a strange place. While I poked and prodded the fish from a safe distance I spotted the piranha out at sea, whether they were the same who carried me is a mystery.
I was strolling down the beach on my fifth day on this weird island, when a freakishly strong man dove off a rock and pinned me to the ground. I Screeched in terror, shouting for someone to help. I was a fool as this only drew in more. They were shouting at me making strange demands. I could not understand them, my head had hit a stray boulder when he tackled me and my ears were ringing. Everything was slow for me, I was screeching loud and high pitched, a cry of distress, and they were drowned out muffles.

 By this point I was certain this was not my home and these people might have been lunatics or cannibals. We stayed like that for quite awhile. I don't know how long, but I knew I had to scream. As a child I had gotten my head stuck in a bucket, and as I stumbled around blind I fell into a deep hole. Screaming for help had saved me then and it had to now. My great grand uncle had told me after the fact, "Belban, if you are ever stuck or in trouble, just scream, scream as loud as you can, and everyone will come running to help, except those damned loggers they will only come to mock you." But that advice would fail me on this day, for I screamed, loud and shrill, and none of my family came to my aid, not even any loggers just to mock me.
A troop of mutants arrived though. At there head was a dwarf. three of my cousins were dwarfs and I had thought it was them, but then I noticed his beard and knew he could not be one of my cousins as none had beards. Behind him was a large green man, like a lizard, and a weird and misshapen little girl with green skin and an odd smell. The dwarf did not seem to like me, but they got me released and seemed welcoming enough. I now live with them in their tiny little village.

In the days to come we would begin digging pits along the beach, I did not ask why, but agreed as it seemed only fair I work for food.

### Chapter 3

The odd deformed people brought me with them on a journey south and we were almost immediately attacked by hordes of island creatures. Fire and smoke women came out of the rocks and giant dragon flies beyond number swarmed us regularly, but in our exploration we found both cannabis and iron. I had learned how pivotal these would be as we went south and the little human explained to me how by the end of the year they wanted to get a whole settlement going and found a town. I don't know if we will met our goal, but its at least possible now that we can nail our huts together instead of relying upon calm breezes.

Speaking of the little human, I learned his name was Thoric, and that he like the others are in fact not humans, but different creatures all together. Sheffuu and the odd little silent version of him are humanoid lizards of some sort who claim to come from a whole society of creatures like him. While I question whether or not this place is real, no one else seems to be questioning it so I will keep my suspicions to myself. Sheik'tah or the mini demon, is also not a deformed human, but actually a frog person, she still scares me. And Thoric it seems is what people call a dwarf, during my short stay in the village, Dane and Weston attempted to explain to me how the small cousins I had were likely just deformed humans, while Thoric and his people are another independent race. That would explain why there were so many in Kingsport and why they all seem to have beards. I will keep up the ruse though, as it amuses me greatly and has become one of the most exciting aspects of life on this violent and boring island. The rat boy back at camp remains a mystery, no one made any mention of him in the explanation process, he must be a legitimate deformed person.

The smaller version of Sheffuu is dead, as we fought one of an endless number of beast attacks the volcano itself opened up its gaping maw and swallowed him whole. His pitiful screams as the earth crushed his bones and he was incinerated by the lava were the only sounds I ever heard him make, and I still do not know what his name was.

We would remain out exploring for over a month, now as we return to camp I look forward to building a hut to sleep in. Perhaps I can store my rocks in it, I have been collecting small stones and stacking them. I imagine they are jewels and I am a Dragon with a horde of treasure, whenever Thoric comes near I hiss at him like a snake and scurry to collect them before he can get to close. Weston told me how all Dwarves have a innate love of treasure and find gems irresistible.

## ACT I of Belban and the Mountain Green

> > SCENE I. The Ocean Blue.
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> - Thunder and lightning. Enter three rocks with piranhas crudely drawn onto them.
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> When shall we three meet again
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> SECOND PIRANHA
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> When the Dreamborn needs us most.
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> When the battle's won.
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> THIRD PIRANHA
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> That will be ere the set of sun.
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> Where the place?
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> SECOND PIRANHA
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> Upon the beach
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> THIRD PIRANHA
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> There to meet with the Lizard.
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> > SCENE II. A beach by Hutsville by the Sea
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> - Sunny and warm. Enter rocks of Sheffuu, Belban, Diego, Thoric and Dane
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> THORIC
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> What bloody man is that? He can hardly hold a rock much less the Lizard
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> DIEGO
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> Doubtful it stands
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> As strong as two shrews perched upon a mountain, that do cling together
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> And choke at their art as either fail.
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> DANE
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> O valiant Belban! You are indeed a worthy gentleman!
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> BELBAN
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> Thanks to you, beloved, Dane, littlest of the monkeyfolk.
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> - Exit the rock of Belban
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> DANE
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> As worthy as the sun 'gins his very reflection
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> Shipwrecking storms and direful thunders break, here weekly, yet he remains!
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> THORIC
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> Discomfort swells. Mark, Frog Girl! Mark!
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> - Enter the rocks of Sheik'tah and Weston
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> DIEGO
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> Dismay'd not this
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> Our captains, Sheik'tah and Weston?
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> SHEIK'TAH
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> Yes;
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> As bird, chaseth thee upon thy heel.
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> If I say sooth, I must report it were a terror
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> But I am faint of breath, other gashes cry for help and thus I depart!
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> DIEGO
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> So well thy words become thee as thy wounds;
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> They smack of honour both. Go get him surgeon.
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> - Exit the rock of Sheik'Tah
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> SHEFFU
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> The worthy thane of Hutsville by the Sea.
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> THORIC
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> What a haste brings thee here Weston?
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> WESTON
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> Naught but my own green envy, for I truly envy Belban with his luscious locks.
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> DANE
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> They be indeed luscious.
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> WESTON
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> I wondered whereth Belban first hailed.
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> DIEGO
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> From neareth Kingsport, home of a great king;
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> Where the banners flout the sky
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> And fan our people cold. For we are small.
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> With terrible numbers,
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> Assisted by that most disloyal sewer folk.
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> The Throng did fell on us.
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> DANE
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> Great happiness?
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> DIEGO
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> Nae
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> - Silence ensues
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> THORIC
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> Weston! Do you searcheth Belban?
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> WESTON
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> Indeed, for I desire his honest word.
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> SHEFFUU
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> No more shall you receive then by Clade the deceiver
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> Our bosom interest is also dishonest: go honest Diego pronounce his early death for he shall die to the Lizards strength.
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> None shall disbelieve your grateful word.
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> DIEGO
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> I'll see it done!
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> - Exit Diego
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> SHEFFUU
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> What he hath yet lost mighty Sheffuu hath soon won.
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> WESTON
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> But whereth might one find poor Belban?
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> THORIC
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> Up the hill and by the fairest bath, where dragons fly.
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> WESTON
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> Then I depart! Farewell companions.
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> DANE
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> Fare thee well!
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> - End Scene
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> SCENE III. The Bath of Dragons.
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> - Sunny and Warm, the sound of birds singing. Enter rocks of Belban, Hadley, Clade
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> CLADE
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> Where hast thou been, brother?
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> BELBAN
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> Killing swine.
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> HADLEY
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> Brother, where thou?
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> BELBAN
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> Upon a beach, but I must explain.
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> CLADE
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> Then explain dear Belban, for thee has us worried.
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> HADLEY
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> Thou'rt kind. For thyself not worried about Belban.
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> - Enter the rock of Thoric
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> THORIC
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> And I another!
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> BELBAN
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> Depart little dwarf for you are small!
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> THORIC
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> I am, I am, I must admit, but so are all of my people.
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> BELBAN
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> So you have said a score, but I will not hear it! For my cousin folk were too small like you and yet they were indeed my cousin folk and not some mystic beast.
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> HADLEY
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> I myself begin to bore, tell of what Swine you killed or be gone Belban.
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> BELBAN
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> I spoke of the fight between I and Sheffuu, for he hath challenged me after one of my antics with a hog of the hedge.
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> CLADE
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> Hog of the Hedge? Does thou mean a hedgehog?
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> BELBAN
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> Indeed, as I am their king, but that is of another tale.
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> HADLEY
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> Oh fool you are, Belban, for you are doomed. Sheffuu's strength out does your own tenfold!
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> THORIC
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> Indeed you are right Hadley, Belban is doomed. Doomed greatly so.
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> BELBAN
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> Lay with him Hadley, if one does love him so!
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> HADLEY
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> One does not!
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> BELBAN
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> Why then does thou bare her breasts for him upon a starless night?
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> HADLEY
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> How does thou know of such thing!
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> BELBAN
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> One does dream it the night before last, when thou and the Lizard stood watch.
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> HADLEY
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> A rash had taken hold!
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> BELBAN
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> An itch perhaps?
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> - Clade and Thoric chuckle
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> HADLEY
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> Enough! I hope thou falls to the Lizard for the fool does anger me.
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> THORIC
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> A fool indeed!
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> BELBAN
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> Hush, for I hear a call from thy Frog Girl over yonder, her bird may be assailing her as she labors over hurt Wyatt!
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> THORIC
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> Indeed it may, for that foul bird may have found its prey! Be off then Belban I soon shall bath amongst thy ghosts of
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> Dragons stricken here.
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> - Exit Belban
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> CLADE
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> Belban may very well be doomed, I fear you might be right little dwarf.
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> THORIC
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> Of course thy fool is doomed, he fights a green mountain and hopes to win!
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> CLADE
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> Did not our old comrade Alasdair do the same?
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> THORIC
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> Indeed and his spilt seed did sire a babe, a babe within an egg. Though I see not how Belban may do the same.
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> HADLEY
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> He shan't.
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> - Enter the rock of the First Piranha
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> Oh foolish mortals, but he shall, his seed shall smite down the Lizard on the warm sand this very evening.
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> Hadley, Clade and Thoric all gasp
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> THORIC
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> How did a beast as magnificent as thou appear in my fine bath?
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> A spell of sea and spray
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> of dreams and charms and nights most refined
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> But I must now depart!
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> HADLEY
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> Wait!
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> I give thou but a moment, speak quick before I must bid a farewell.
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> HADLEY
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> What is this, how is a dolphin sat here amidst a pond?
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> Speak not that word for it is ours and not one's own!
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> HADLEY
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> But that is what thou are!
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> One's thyself is more than any mortal beast!
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> When the seas were young we were old!
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> Dreams will come and days will fade.
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> - A drum echoes from within the pond
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> FIRST PIRANHA
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> A drum, a drum!
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> The fight will come and night will fade!
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> Farewell to thee for we shan't meet again.
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> - Exit First Piranha
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> THORIC
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> What has just occurred?
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> CLADE
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> One knows not.
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> HADLEY
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> Come we must tell the others.
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> THORIC
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> Before one departs thou should bath in their yonder pond
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> HADLEY
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> Only thou bathes in one's own drinking water,
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> I shan't besmirch my own lips with your taste, nor will I share your bath.
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> CLADE
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> Indeed, nor shall I!
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> THORIC
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> Then be gone, for I desire the cool touch of water against my fair dwarven skin and I shan't wait much longer.
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> HADLEY
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> Quick! Clade we must depart at once lest our eyes wonder upon his naked flesh.
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> CLADE
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> Yes, let us flee at once.
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> THORIC
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> Yes, at once.
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> - Thoric smiles perversely
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> - Exit Clade and Hadley
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> > End of Act I
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