Crack Crab

Crack crabs are large crustaceans that will eat anything, but they're most famous for going completely nuts when they eat coconut meat drenched in coca cola out of a crack.

## Description

Crack crabs can measure 4 to 6 feet wide and can be found in fresh water and salt water environments. They originated in the realm of Llebocat where they inhabit beaches and swamps, but they've been imported to every other realm to be cooked and served as popular delicacies. Of course, many of the crabs escape and quickly adapt to any habitat with plenty of water, soft soil, and food. Their thick carapaces and crushing claws defend the crabs well against predators, and their large appetites are satisfied by just about anything their claws can cut and crush. Crack crabs are omnivores that will eat anything they want to though they're especially fond of fruit, water plants, smaller animals, fish, carrion, Arby's, cardboard covered in ketchup, fried boots, 3Mustakeers bars, granola, and, most famously, coconut meat drenched by coca cola that's in a crack. However, upon eating the coke soaked coconut flesh, crack crabs achieve an enormous boost in energy and aggression! Large lazy eyes, open claws, and superfast scuttling of legs signal this hyped up ferocity! Even when not high on coke and coconut from a crack, crack crabs are easily spooked and stop at nothing to save themselves from being eaten or forced to wear undergarments on their heads.

## Useful Tips

Crack crabs may not be the most ferocious or powerful creatures in the wilds, but they're still strong and lethal opportunists who terrorize their wetland domains. Yet, once their tactics are learned, they're not too hard to transform from the hunter into the hunted.

1. Blunt weapons are most effective due to their tough exoskeletons. So is fire and poison.
2. Slipping undergarments onto the head of a crack crab renders it defenseless. Even if it's high on coke and coconut from the crack, this tactic never fails to halt it's onslaught and leaves it in a relaxed, coma like state from which it does not stir until the undergarments are taken off it's head.
3. Crack crabs are always drawn to easy meals. Use any of it's favorite foods as bait to lure the big crab into a trap.
4. Crack crabs are easily startled and will charge at whatever spooks them. Sometimes, they're blinded by fury and charge at more powerful predators who overpower and eat them easily.
5. The very sight of flannel hurts their eyes immensely!
6. Pepsi is poison to crack crabs and will kill them instantly!

## Uses and Importance in WTF Culture

Crack crabs are famous animals for getting high and vicious after consuming coca cola soaked coconuts out of cracks; so much so that they symbolize stoned rage. Yet the crabs are also prized delicacies to both man and beast alike. In addition to their meat and limbs for food, crack crab shells are also harvested to be ground into a fine powder and smoked. Unsurprisingly, smoking powdered crack crab shell really gets people fried AF. That's probably because of how high the crabs get from... Oh, you know by now! Whether it's true or not, powdering these shells is illegal!

## References

Crack crabs are partial parodies of mud crabs from the Elder Scrolls franchise.

Sauce: https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Mudcrab