Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout: The Video Game

**Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout: The Video Game** is a *Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout* tie-in video game for the PC developed by Invent4 Entertainment and published by Ultra Satan Games. It was released August 8th, 2011. In the game, Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout has to defeat all the bad guys like in the anime and manga, but you can actually play as him and get him to act marginally more competent than in the show.

## Cast & Characters

   The video game credits list its cast at the very beginning of the game instead of at the end and manages to misnames almost all of the cast:

* The Scoutlings, including:
	+ Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout
	+ "Zippo Lighter" (Zippy Danger)
	+ "The Betty One" (Betty)
	+ "Stingy Furious" (Dengar Dangerous)
	+ "Butt Sailor Conflict" (Rear Admiral Fights)
	+ Saracho
* Bananarama-Sama and his Hell-Generals
	+ "Inspector Gadget" (Gijizark)
	+ "Bombur" (Beefo)
	+ Fredgar
	+ "Taco-Grande" (Enrique-Supreme)
	+ "Del Taco" (Enrique)
	+ "Fluffy" (Yetti)
	+ "Yiffy" (Fluffet)
* Papa Texas and his biker gang
	+ Big Biker Sentry
* Random extras and mini-bosses that have no bearing on the plot most of the time
	+ Owlhead Sniper
	+ Siamese-Twin-Spoi

   Possible explanations for the poorly-done, obviously-wrong mixups of the names of important, well-established characters have been profferred by fans, including mere programming errors or a lack of interest by the creators in their IP. Some believe that they were the results of mistranslations from English to Japanese to English, done in order to make the game seem more *authentically* awful; others instead believe that these mistakes were intentional jokes by the enslaved game designers.

## Plot

The President of Choco Taco Academy has been kidnapped by Papa Texas and his biker gang. Are you a Brooding enough Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout to rescue the President?

## Gameplay

None? I mean, at all. Upon starting the game you are shown an introductory cutscene which is followed immediately by the end credits. Nobody's really sure how they got away with it. Hackers have managed to find gameplay while looking around the code but most of it is inactive or buggy.

## DLC Content

Currently, there are seven DLC packs for the game. Each took about a day to create and a week to delay.

* Dire Mode ($2): Lets you play the game on Dire/Hardestest difficulty, which is Hardest difficulty on horse steroids.
* Hell Mode ($6): Lets you play the game on Hell/Hardestestest difficulty, which reaches downright unfun levels of pain.
* Reallyjoel's Dad Mode ($10): Lets you play the game on Reallyjoel's Dad difficulty, which is only beatable by Reallyjoel's dad.
* Extra Episode - Battleship Wars ($12) : Unlocks an extra act for the game, Battleship Wars, in which Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout has to win games of Battleship in order to defeat Beefo at the Battleship World Championship.
* 3 Extra Online Modes ($5): Unlocks "1v1 Bad Rats" mode, "Kick The Can" mode, and "Hide-And-Seek" mode for online mode. Strange how they didn't add these in when it was first released...

* 1,000,000 Bonk Tokens ($420): Adds a million Bonk Tokens into your current game, which is WAY more than enough to fully upgrade Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout and should only be bought if you're too lazy to get the damn tokens yourself (I mean, they're not that hard to find, and walkthroughs pointing out the locations of the Bonk Tokens exist, you know).
* Brave-Tomboy-Highschool-Femscout DLC pack ($2): Adds Brave-Tomboy-Highschool-Femscout as a playable character in a special level set called "Hell-Tower Escape! Go! Go!", in which Brave-Tomboy-Highschool-Femscout must ice power her way out of a tower created by someone whom she thinks is Fluffet.

## Critical reception

The game was slammed pretty heavily by IGN before it came out, but Ultra Satan slipped them some money so they gave it a perfect 10. Based upon what little gameplay exists, critics were fond of the animation style and soundtrack, and the gameplay wasn't too bad, but agreed that the level design and controls "were shit." The game currently is sitting at a 66 on Metacritic. Steam reviews, however, have been 85% positive.

Notably, a Tumblr user flipped their shit over the fact that Betty exists and wrote a poorly written 17-paragraph essay on "why feminism is necessary in video games." Said post received thousands of comments that were all variations on "TL;DR" and "git gud," as well as some reblogs debunking their claims.

The online feature was lacking variety due to there only being two types of online matches. The connection for online matchmaking was absolutely asinine, too, with some users reporting having to spend up to three days waiting for a match and requiring ten nicotine patches and five Steam updates to fix.

## Trivia

* Invent4 also developed Bad Rats.
* It was planned to have Something Dumb Studios, composed of Krunkidile, Uber Chain, and Italian Ninja, make the game. However, when Uber Chain and Italian Ninja left to start a Softcore Chap-hop band called "The Lenny's Lenner Line," the project was given to Invent4.
* The game was originally planned with a much bigger budget in mind. It was also planned to be released a year later than it was. Former game designers from Bad Rats confirmed that these were the biggest drawbacks during development, along with there never being any toilet paper in the whole Bad Rats building, but most fans say it was doomed from the start, because who really needs that much toilet paper?
* The game is typically referred to by fans as "Brooding Ninja Highschool Parkour Scout '06" despite coming out in 2011.
* There is a hidden message from the developer embedded inside the player code. It reads as follows:

"WHERE IS THE BOX. MIKE YOU BUTT. GIVE ME COLLISSIONS I WANT TO BE HOME FOR DINNER." The file was created July 24th, 2002.