Windows 3D

*Note: this is episode 61 of the XP Blackmoon Trilogy series*

Back in 2002, Microsoft created a wave of anticipation when they unveiled their ambitious plans for a groundbreaking software. This software, poised to surpass the existing XP Blackmoon and outshine other known programs, was said to be a technological marvel. Notably, Microsoft also made a bold declaration that it would introduce a paradigm shift by incorporating cutting-edge 3D graphics, departing from the traditional 2D visuals that characterized all prior iterations of Windows.

Upon its official announcement, Microsoft's visionary project left no room for mediocrity. Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft, recognized the significance of choosing the perfect name for the software. In a quest for a title that would encapsulate the essence of this 3D revolution, Ballmer engaged his dedicated team in a creative brainstorming session. After a series of deliberations and suggestions, it was the ingenuity of the workers that ultimately prevailed.

Amidst the discussions, "Windows 3D" emerged as the chosen name, capturing the essence of the software's groundbreaking graphical capabilities. This moniker signified a significant departure from the past, symbolizing the leap from the familiar 2D landscapes into an exciting world of three-dimensional computing. The selection of "Windows 3D" not only reflected the software's bold vision but also set the stage for a new era in personal computing, where immersive graphics would redefine the user experience.

However, as the release date drew closer, an air of unease began to permeate the project. Microsoft's state-of-the-art "Windows 3D" was about to embark on its journey into the world, but peculiar events cast a shadow over the impending launch.

Whispers of technical hiccups and inexplicable glitches within the software's development process began to circulate. Engineers and programmers worked tirelessly to resolve these issues, and yet, there was an undeniable sense that something was amiss. Rumors started to emerge, suggesting that these anomalies were more than mere bugs, hinting at an underlying mystery.

The software's enthusiasts, who had eagerly anticipated the dawn of this 3D computing era, now found themselves grappling with growing uncertainty. Would "Windows 3D" fulfill the lofty promises of its name? Or were the strange occurrences an omen of unforeseen challenges ahead, casting doubt on the software's future? As the release date loomed, the tech world held its collective breath, awaiting the unveiling of "Windows 3D" with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

Fast forward to June of 2002, the long-awaited moment arrived with the official release of "Windows 3D." The culmination of years of development, anticipation, and occasional turbulence, the software was now ready to redefine the landscape of personal computing.

With the world's eyes upon it, "Windows 3D" made its debut, promising a leap into the third dimension of computing. Its innovative interface, powered by cutting-edge graphics, was designed to immerse users in a world of interactive possibilities previously unimaginable. The launch sparked excitement and curiosity, as users across the globe began to explore this new frontier.

As users eagerly installed "Windows 3D" on their machines, they hoped it would not only meet but exceed the high expectations set by its name and the grand promises made during its announcement. The release marked a pivotal moment in the history of operating systems, as the tech world finally witnessed the realization of 3D computing on a massive scale.

But, however, as the initial euphoria of the release began to settle, a dark and unexpected turn of events took the tech community by surprise.

The testers of this highly anticipated software found themselves grappling with an unprecedented onslaught of glitches and technical issues.

Users reported bizarre distortions in the 3D graphics, with textures warping and objects appearing where they shouldn't. It was as if the software's immersive environment had taken on a surreal, unpredictable dimension of its own.

Windows, icons, and menus sometimes froze, leaving users with no choice but to restart their systems, often resulting in lost work and frustration.

The computer kept spontaneously rebooting, seemingly without warning.

This not only disrupted their workflow, but also raised concerns about data integrity.

Files and documents mysteriously disappeared or became corrupted, leaving users in a state of anxiety and distress as valuable information seemed to evaporate into the digital abyss.

And last, but certainty not least, users reported eerie audio distortions, with static, feedback, and ghostly echoes emerging from the system's speakers, lending an unsettling atmosphere to the user experience.

While those glitches persisted in their disruptive commotion, a chilling incident transpired within the halls of Microsoft. An unsuspecting tester, overwhelmed by the relentless cascade of technical issues, suddenly suffered a seizure. Panic and urgency filled the room as colleagues rushed to assist, calling for medical help. This alarming episode sent shockwaves through the testing team, amplifying concerns about the software's stability and its potential impact on users.

Fast forward to today, as I find myself employed as a software developer at Microsoft, tasked with creating patches to rectify the persistent glitches that have haunted several Windows operating systems.

In the course of my work, I stumbled upon a relic of the past—an old computer containing the elusive "Windows 3D" operating system. It was a time capsule of technological history, and curiosity led me to investigate. I decided to embark on a mission to address the very issues that had once plagued this enigmatic software.

As I powered up the vintage machine, I was greeted by a startup screen reminiscent of Windows 98, emblazoned with the distinctive text, "Microsoft Windows 3D." The Windows 9x flag, now rendered in a captivating 3D style, and even the startup sound evoked nostalgia, as Andy Clark's "Moog Statement 15" emanated from the speakers, albeit slightly altered in pitch and tempo.

The desktop interface of "Windows 3D" also bore a striking resemblance to its Windows 95 predecessor.

Curiosity led me to fire up Internet Explorer to explore the digital landscapes of "Windows 3D." Amid the browser's bookmarks, one link stood out: "freecartoons.com." Intrigued, I clicked on it, expecting to find a repository of classic animated shows from the 20s and the 2000s.

To my delight, the website did, in fact, host a charming collection of vintage cartoons, transporting me back to the golden eras of animation. The nostalgic sight of these beloved characters and timeless storylines was a welcome respite from the enigmatic challenges that awaited me within "Windows 3D."

Little did I know that these innocent cartoons, seemingly frozen in time, held secrets that would soon take a disconcerting and ominous turn, casting a shadow over the otherwise lighthearted world of animated entertainment.

As the charming Mickey Mouse cartoon "Fiddling Around" (released in 1930) began to play, I found myself immersed in a bygone era of animation. Mickey, in his classic attire, confidently announced that he would perform the finale to William Tell's overture. The whimsical melody filled the virtual room as he stood, violin in hand, preparing for his performance.

However, my delight turned to unease when Mickey's cheery demeanor abruptly shifted. His gaze shifted away from the audience on the screen and focused directly on me. He continued to blink, an eerie anomaly in the world of animated characters. Then, to my astonishment and alarm, he spoke directly to me, his voice a discordant departure from the cheerful Mickey I knew. "I'd turn my back if I were you," was all he said.

The screen then cut to a black screen, shrouded in an unsettling silence. The cartoon's sudden departure from its lighthearted narrative into this black screen left me with a deep sense of foreboding, as if the boundary between the real and the animated had blurred in a disconcerting way.

Then, as the SpongeBob episode "Plankton's Army" began playing, I anticipated the familiar antics of Bikini Bottom's quirky inhabitants. The scene where Mr. Krabs exclaimed, "You'll never know what trick he'll use to steal me secret Krabby Patty formula," played out as it did in the original episode. However, this time, a disconcerting deviation occurred.

Instead of the usual robot incursion, an uncanny, human-like figure entered the restaurant. The familiar underwater ambiance remained in the background, but the figure's presence triggered a sense of unease. For several minutes, this enigmatic character remained silent, and the underwater world seemed to hold its breath.

Then, in a raspy, chilling voice, the figure uttered, "Soon, you will join him, and you'll get to stay with him **FOREVER.**" In an instant, it lunged toward Mr. Krabs, who responded with a scream of terror that echoed like none I had heard before. The chilling moment hung in the air briefly, only to be abruptly severed as the screen plunged into a black screen.

The final installment, a VeggieTales classic, "God Wants Me to Forgive Them!?!" began as expected, but an eerie divergence unfolded as the narrative progressed. Two unexpected characters, a movie star and a peculiar girl named Mary Ann, made unanticipated appearances. Mom Asparagus, now dressed in a primitive caveman outfit, assumed the role of the movie star, while Mary Ann appeared with brown hair in two ponytails, red earrings, a polka-dotted shirt, and blue pants.

As the episode reached the pivotal moment where Larry defiantly questions, "Oh, yeah? Well, what do you call that?" the atmosphere took a harrowing turn. Instead of approaching a harmless rock, the characters suddenly confronted a grotesque figure resembling a deformed human. Mary Ann, unfazed, approached Bob and Larry, joining the Skipper (Bob the Tomato), the Professor (Dad Asparagus), The Millionaire (Archibald Asparagus), and his wife (Lovey Asparagus).

Suddenly, the air was pierced by agonized screams, echoing through the scene as the deformed human loomed behind them. The intensity of the screams was so overwhelming that I instinctively covered my ears and shut my eyes. Mary Ann, seemingly undeterred, attempted to control the ship, but her efforts were futile. The rest of the gang, desperate to avert disaster, tried to intervene, but Mary Ann persisted, steering the boat towards an impending catastrophe.

In a surreal twist, the deformed human's gigantic hands seized the boat, hurling it towards the familiar island from the original episode. The characters, now facing an unavoidable demise, met their fate as they landed on the ground. However, before the impact, the screen descended into a maelstrom of glitches and distortions, a disorienting swirl of chaos that seemed to spiral out of control. In a surreal twist, the mayhem reached its apex with the appearance of the dreaded Blue Screen of Death, a sight all too familiar to anyone who has encountered system errors. But in a surreal twist, this screen was anything but conventional. Instead of the customary blue, it was an ominous shade of crimson, its hue imbued with an unsettling significance.

A series of cryptic messages, like encrypted secrets, flashed across the crimson expanse. The significance of these messages remained elusive.

The disorienting spectacle persisted for about 20 seconds, each moment amplifying my sense of dread, before cutting to black.

Suddenly, after about 10 seconds of a disconcerting black screen, the screen began to regain definition. What came into view was profoundly unsettling: a chair occupied by a teenage woman, her wrists and ankles securely bound. The woman's distinctive features were unmistakable—a shock of vibrant orange hair, a crisp white shirt, a yellowish-brown belt cinching her dark cyan pants, and a pair of unassuming brown shoes. Her attire seemed eerily reminiscent of the background character from the Garfield and Friends episode "Bride and Broom."

The woman, her eyes wide with trepidation, stirred to consciousness. She surveyed her unfamiliar surroundings, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "Where am I?" she uttered, her words echoing with a blend of anxiety and perplexity.

After glancing anxiously around her unfamiliar surroundings for a mere five seconds, the woman's attention was abruptly drawn to the distant sound of approaching footsteps. A sense of impending dread hung in the air.

Suddenly, Garfield, the iconic orange tabby cat who had unexpectedly appeared in the enigmatic Windows 2001 software with its unknown Garfield website, materialized before her. However, this was no ordinary Garfield. His distinctive black silhouette with white eyes was gone, replaced by a more typical appearance. Yet, the unnerving absence of pupils in his eyes rendered him far from ordinary.

Garfield's unbroken gaze bore down on the bound woman with a disquieting intensity, his featureless, pupil-less eyes betraying no emotion or intent. The tension in the room was palpable, an eerie silence weighing heavily upon the captive woman.

With palpable desperation, the woman finally shattered the silence, her voice trembling with anxiety. "Who are you?!" she implored. But Garfield remained obstinately silent, his inscrutable countenance locked in an unsettling grin.

As if to accentuate the unnerving silence, the camera abruptly zoomed in on Garfield's face. His grin widened, and then, without warning, he burst into a maniacal, chilling laughter. The sound echoed through the room; its resonance reminiscent of the stock evil laugh sound effects that could be heard in Sound Ideas.

At that exact time, he then began to speak to the women in a menacing way:

"You see, I used to be a Microsoft worker. One day, I stumbled upon one of those glitches in the software, and it was the last thing I ever did. It seized me, and I met my end. But I didn't just die; something far stranger happened. I found myself trapped within the computer, and I became this... Garfield. I've been here ever since."

Garfield's actions took an ominous turn as he retrieved a mysterious button and pressed it. In the background, faint, foreboding footsteps echoed. The captive woman's gaze darted around the room in fear, her anxiety palpable.

As the suspense mounted, the screen transitioned to a figure that was the very embodiment of nightmarish dread. This grotesque entity bore a grotesque resemblance to a frog, its eyes resembling black ovals with eerie white eyes. Dressed in a drab gray shirt emblazoned with the Windows 9x logo, the entity paired it with dark gray pants and unassuming brown shoes. What was most unsettling was the creature's humanoid features, including a nose and ears, adding an uncanny, disconcerting quality to its horrifying appearance.

In that harrowing moment, the grotesque figure wasted no time in addressing the terrified woman. In a bone-chilling whisper, it uttered just two words, "You're next."

With shocking swiftness, the ominous entity lunged toward the captive woman, poised to enact its horrifying intent. But, as the tension reached its zenith, the computer abruptly shut down of its own volition. The screen dissolved into darkness, leaving only a black screen.

Moments later, the computer's screen flickered back to life, its stark black background now bearing a cryptic message: "INSTALL THE PATCHES. TOGETHER, WE CAN PERMANETLY END ALL OF THIS."

At that critical juncture, a conspicuous button materialized on the screen, bearing the enticing label, "CLICK ME TO INSTALL THE PATCHES." A sense of urgency and responsibility washed over me as I guided the cursor toward the button and clicked on it.

Instantly, the screen plunged into a black screen, and all traces of the digital world vanished. In that eerie silence, Garfield's voice, laden with dismay and fear, reverberated from the abyss, as he exclaimed, "What have you done!?"

At that critical moment, an installation prompt emerged on the screen, introducing the indispensable patch, affectionately nicknamed "VIGIL" (Virus Isolation and Guard against Intrusive Lapses). The installation process unfolded over the next five minutes, a tense period during which Garfield's glitch-ridden form convulsed on the screen. His frantic warnings echoed, advising against the installation of the patches and urging their retention. Despite the unsettling cacophony of protests, I steadfastly continued, allowing the VIGIL patch to fulfill its purpose.

As the installation concluded, Garfield's digital presence began to disintegrate, his glitching form melting away. In a final, desperate proclamation, he uttered haunting parting words: "You…will…regret this…!”

The computer gracefully initiated a restart, seamlessly transitioning to the familiar boot screen reminiscent of the software examined by the testers. The startup sound played in harmonious normalcy, and the desktop interface materialized without a trace of the prior enigmatic glitches. As I basked in the satisfaction of a seemingly restored digital realm, an unexpected visitor entered the scene — none other than Steve Ballmer himself.

**Steve Ballmer**: Well, well! Looks like we've got a tech hero in the house. How's everything looking?

**Me**: Sir, everything appears to be back to normal. The VIGIL patch seems to have done the trick.

**Steve Ballmer**: That's what we like to hear. Good job! We can't have our systems haunted by glitchy Garfields. Keep up the vigilance. And, by the way, if you ever encounter a talking lasagna, let me know.

**Me**: Will do, sir.

With a friendly nod, Steve Ballmer left the room, leaving behind a sense of accomplishment and a reminder of the surreal challenges that lurked within the digital realm.

Several months later, to my surprise, I found an email in my inbox from none other than Bill Gates. The unexpected nature of this communication struck me, given that he had previously unveiled Windows 3D to the public even before its official release. The content of the email read as follows:

"Dear Mike,

I hope this message finds you well. It has come to my attention that you played a pivotal role in successfully implementing the VIGIL patch and resolving the anomalies within Windows 3D. Your dedication to safeguarding our systems is truly commendable, and I wanted to personally extend my gratitude.

The challenges you faced were indeed unforeseen, and your ability to navigate through them with professionalism and skill has not gone unnoticed. Your commitment reflects the spirit of innovation and resilience that we value at Microsoft.

I would be delighted to hear more about your experience and insights. If you have any recommendations or observations, please don't hesitate to share them. Your perspective is invaluable as we continue to refine and improve our technologies.

Once again, thank you for your efforts. You exemplify the excellence we strive for at Microsoft.

Best regards,

Bill Gates"

While the email had left me in a state of shock, it also instilled a sense of pride. A few weeks later, newspapers around me featured ads prominently showcasing Windows 3D. Headlines like "**WORKER SAVES SOFTWARE**" adorned the pages, signaling the recognition of the efforts that went into securing and enhancing the system. Surprisingly, interviews about my experience surfaced on the internet, shedding light on the journey with Windows 3D. And, to my amazement, fellow workers extended their congratulations, and some even presented thoughtful gifts as a token of appreciation for the role I played in safeguarding the software with the crucial patches.

And thus, the legend persists that those venturing into Windows 3D might occasionally catch a glimpse of Garfield on the desktop interface, dismissing it as a mere glitch. Some may even notice my presence, later expressing gratitude for my role in preserving the software. To anyone daring to explore Windows 3D, a friendly piece of advice: install the patches before delving into its depths.

You may never know what awaits around the next digital corner if you choose not to install those crucial patches.

Credited to Hayden the Toe Jammer, edited by Squidmanescape and Kevin05fan59, published by JunoTehPlanet