Clark Newman

Clark Newman, American Celebrity

**Clark Newman** is Rob's best friend and mentor. He is an American celebrity, and loves to take pictures with fans.

## Appearance

Clark has dark eyes and short, blond hair with messy bangs. He has a bright, friendly expression guaranteed to make anyone's day. His sexy look can instantly seduce unsuspecting people.

He is usually shown wearing a dark grey business suit with a pink tie.

When asked to describe himself, Clark told TIME Magazine this:

”Hi my name is Clark Newman and I have medium-length brown hair (that’s how I got my name) with brown streaks and brown tips that reaches my mid-neck and icy brown eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a god but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly grey suits and pink ties. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a grey suit with matching white undershirt under it and black leather shoes, a pink necktie and a smile. I was wearing invisible lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hollywood. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.”

The interviewer was so shocked that they couldn’t remember any of what he just said. Thankfully they had a recorder on at the moment, so they were able to write it down later.

## Personality

He is a kind and nurturing man, seen in his treatment of his colleague Rob and husband Sebastian, as well as the upbeat and open attitude he shows when interacting with fans.

Clark has shown an interest in insects, describing them as "cute".

He can be a real joker at times, once even drinking a glass of Sprite without using his hands. What a card!

His very first words became the inspiration for the popular American band Weezer’s album, Pinkerton!

He is very fond of bitter, almond-scented cologne. The beloved, popular scent sticks in the air as Clark leaves the room, as he lets out a wonderful, bellowing pun: "Cyonara!"

He also cannot be killed! Literally.

## History

Clark was once part of a Little League team. The night of his first game, his mother left. (Presumably out of shame.)

Clark loved lemon meringue pie, and learned to bake it himself. This led to his very first role, where he was an extra, meant to get angry at one of the leads, and throw a pie in his face. However Clark got so caught up in the role, that he didn’t stop at throwing the pie at the lead, but then leapt at the man and tackled him! Everyone on set was so impressed with his dedication to the role that he was signed on the spot!

Clark eventually became involved in the celebrity business, where he met his coworker and husband, Kennedy Sebastian, and his student, Robert "Rob" Kendrick.

Clark is less known for his political campaign to change every single image result on Foogle.com to a picture of Rob's face. Though he only succeeded in doing this to the word "mob", Rob's face became the symbol of communism and the left all over the world. Clark is the unsung hero of this tale.

He is now dead. They wanted to test his theory that he cannot die and they proved it false. Clark is speculated to have been buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

## Quotes

* “Did you know me, Clark Newman is actually an America Celebrity?”
* "That's me, American Celebrity Clark Newman!"
* "I'm Clark Newman, American Celebrity!"
* "Me? American Celebrity Clark Newman?"
* "I cannot be killed."
* "I'm American! And I'm Clark Newman!"
* "I'm Clark Newman! Oh, what was that? Of course I'm an American Celebrity!"
* "Trans rights!"
* ‘‘Being gay is gay!"
* "Oi, Robu!"
* ”Murder is okay sometimes!”
* ”Mmmmm! Lemon meringue pie tastes so good!”
* "Down with capitalism!"
* “Among us”