Sideburned in Space

The Commander grows some sideburns and combs them with his magic sideburn comb. OR DOES HE?

## Transcript

*(open to Space Tree, wearing sunglasses and a red bandana, listening to music on a hover radio. Commander leaps in, with sideburns. Space Tree doesn't notice, so Commander stops the music, and blows the radio offscreen with the staple gun)*

**COMMANDER:** Top of the morning to ya, Space-a-ta-ree!

**SPACE TREE:** *(his sunglasses are gone, and his bandana has changed to blue)* Well, if it isn't my old friend, Commander- wait a minute, what the space are those attached to your face?!

**COMMANDER:** Well, it looks like you're noticing my new sideburns, brotha!

**SPACE TREE:** *(his bandana is now purple, and he has his gold $ necklace on)* Sideburns?! What the heck are they? They sound kind of painful!

**COMMANDER:** Well, it all started two days ago, when I found this magic sideburn comb. *(he holds it up, it gives off a golden glow)* I was casually floating through a black arear of space, when suddenly-

*(doorbell rings)*

**SPACE TREE:** *(he now has his sunglasses on again, with a purple bandana at the top of his trunk, and an orange one at the bottom)* Oh, hold on a second. I better go get that.

**COMMANDER:** Just leave it; I'm tryin' to tell a story here.

**SPACE TREE:** Well, I'm expecting a package to arrive, so, y'know, this might be it.

**COMMANDER:** FINE. But hurry back.

**SPACE TREE:** All right.

*(Space Tree leaves; the Commander starts combing his sideburns; the Candy Cane drops in, and the two do the Space Dance)*

**SPACE TREE:** *(offscreen)* Is this who I think I think it is?

**HAIRY GUY:** *(offscreen)* No, I'm lookin' for the Commander.

**SPACE TREE:** *(offscreen)* Oh. Come in, he's right in here.

**HAIRY GUY:** *(offscreen)* Thank you.

*(the candy cane disappears, and a Hairy guy stomps in next to the Commander)*

**COMMANDER:** Who are you, and what do you want?

**HAIRY GUY:** You know who I am, and you know what I want. *(he turns around, to show two clumps in his back gone)* Put them back in there right now.

**COMMANDER:** All right. *(he tears the sideburns off his face, puts them back, then puts a "Kick My" sign on top of it)*

**COMMANDER:** *(thinking)* Wait, is that right?

*(he puts a small "e" sign over the "y")*

**HAIRY GUY:** Now, don't you ever do that again!

**COMMANDER:** Look, I'm sorry, I just wanted something to use my sideburn comb on. *(It glows again)*

**HAIRY GUY:** Oh, Commander... Don't you see? You had the power within you the whole time. All you gots to do is rip some of your own hair out *(he tears hair off the Commander's head)*, glue it to the side of your face *(he glues it to the Commander's cheeks)*, and there you go! You're the king of the sideburn people.

**COMMANDER:** Wow, thanks, mysterious stranger whose hair I stole!

**HAIRY GUY:** No problem, Commander. It's always good to learn.

**COMMANDER:** Don't you mean, "it's always good to **BURN**?!" *(points to his new sideburns)*

**HAIRY GUY:** No.

*(freeze-frame, buttons appear at bottom, which serves as the end screen)*

## Easter Eggs

* At the end click on the Keentoons T.V. to see Commander get shot through the hand with an arrow.

## References

* Space Tree switches between several different colored bandanas during the episode, which go from red to blue to purple and organge; the same colors as the four bandana masks worn by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.