Chapter 4: Confusing Morning

NOZOMU NOZOMI

CONFUSING MORNING

CHAPTER 4 OF THE MANGA

Sometime during that night, Tao finally fell asleep. Earlier, after Tao had found out, while sitting on the toilet, that they were changing into a girl, he had a rather scary and upsetting dream. He dreamed that he was at school, at his desk, and feeling really sick. It is then that another male student correctly guessed that he had already changed into an anatomically correct girl, even though he was still wearing the boy's school uniform. That boy then screams that you, Tao, must have been a girl all along, weren't you ?

Tao wakes up disillusioned and frightful. What a bad dream ! They get up and turn off the alarm, remembering that this morning they have baseball practice. A good workout might help one to forget.....forget what ? Tao, who slept in his hoodie and sweat pants, removes the hoodie and reaches down into the front of the sweat paints. Just what they feared.....**IT'S NOT THERE !!!** Tao muses; that's about right. Yesterday, just before midnight, I found out that my 'boy equipment' had shrunk down to only a nub.....I panicked......then fell asleep telling myself that it never happened.....*BUT LOSING IT WASN'T A DREAM.....!!!* Tao glances at the clock, and remarks that they have to get going to make it to practice on time.

At the practice baseball diamond, Tao and the other team members do warmup exercises, then run laps around the diamond then do strength conditioning. Later, Tao is out on the field, at their position of shortstop. However, their mind begins to drift, and recall all that has happened lately. Let's think back to the beginning. Could it be that I was born with male genitalia, but with a girl's mind, heart, and spirit ? Did I mistake myself for a boy all along ? No, that can't be true. A male "thingy" means that you have to be a boy, right ? Or wrong ? Or maybe ? I still had "it" yesterday when I was trying on Kanae's clothes. "It" got in the way when I put on a pair of her panties, and would not fit well inside the panties. After that, I was surprised by my Father's early return. I had dinner, then went to my bedroom and did my homework. After that, the time gap was only about 2-3 hours before I had to get up and use the toilet. It was then that I discovered that "it" was for all practical purposes, gone ! There doesn't seem to be any logical medical or scientific explanations to account for what happened. Therefore, could it be Bad Karma, Fate, Destiny, or "The Gods" ?

The coach, holding a bat and a baseball, calls out that the next hit from home plate will be towards shortstop. Yet Tao was still deep in thought and meditation. The crack of the ball on the bat barely catches their attention. When Tao finally realizes that the ball is headed toward the shortstop area, there is little that they can do about that. They make a valiant effort to catch the ball, but the ball makes a bee-line for Tao's crotch. WACK !!! The baseball hits Tao in their most tender and vulnerable part of their body. Tao goes down in excruciating pain, but the coach only calls out to begin running to dissipate the pain. Yeah, right ?!? Another teammate goes to Tao and gathers their arm up onto his shoulder, and helps to walk Tao off the field. "A real 'ball buster', huh ?" Tao silently thinks to themselves that they don't have any "balls" anymore, so what's the point ? Knock it off !

Tao is dropped off at the dugout, and remarkably, is still standing. Ide-san comes over and asks if they are okay ? She hands a cold water bottle to Tao, saying to hold this between your legs, as cooling may help ease the pain. Tao thanks her. Ide-san goes on to say, seemingly coincidentally, that the hit would be critical for a boy; why a girl would even feel painful to be hit down there. Ide-san then remarks that her brother was delighted to hear that you had become shortstop. He seemed to have high expectations for you. However, the coach comes upon the two and barks out to Tao that if you don't concentrate, like that of a while ago, you will be spending your time on the bench. Tao says nothing. The coach verbally wacks Tao again, barking that you should be saying, "Yes, sir, I will do my best !", in a sincere manner. The coach then makes a crass, off-color joke, that hits Tao like a ton of bricks. "Are you're balls hanging in there ?" Tao is mortified, as the words hit them like a wack on the head from a baseball bat, but they say nothing.

The next morning, Tao is in the bathroom, showering off, then taking a long, hot soak in the bathtub. Thinking that soaking in hot water would bring the 'boy bits' back, this is what is tried. No dice ! Even my arms and shoulders feel somewhat different, lean and thinner, like a girls. What should I do ? Something like this I can never tell Dad ! I mean, I'm becoming a girl. After getting out of the tub, Tao opens the door, wet and completely naked. Whump ! A large towel assaults their face. ***KANAE!!!*** Tao grabs the towel and shoves it down to cover his crotch. Kanae nonchalantly says that she didn't see anything. "Breakfast is ready!", she announces. Tao thinks to themselves that Kanae is only one year younger than me, yet still has a flat chest, without even a hit of boobs.

After breakfast, the two siblings are walking to school. Tao tries to encourage themselves, thinking that as long as their chest stays flat like Kanae's, then they will be safe for now. Tao then recalls the scary dream from the other night. They end up telling themselves that they hope that the dream does not come true, especially today at school. Kanae breaks Tao's line of though, asking if he is free this coming Sunday ? Well, at least there is no baseball practice that day. Kanae reveals that Mom is going to take her shopping for fall and winter clothes. You should come along, too. You can choose all the girly clothes that you want, working through me ! Tao asks if that means they can wear whatever is selected by Mom, for you, Kanae, to wear ? No ! Mom never buys the style of clothes that I really want, she says that style is 'too mature' for me. Since that is how it is with Mom, Mom insisting that I wear little girl's styled clothes, wouldn't buying that style for your personal "cross-dressing" be way more practical, as well as fun ? Tao gets the wrong idea and takes it the wrong way; "KANAE, stop making fun of me or I'm going to get really mad !

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Click on Chapter 5: The Secret's Beginning to be taken to the next chapter.