25-ji, Nightcord de./Story/Episode 18

## Episode 18

**Desire To Save**

**Characters**

 Empty SEKAI

???
Even if you're cursed, you still want to save me? **???**: Even if you're cursed, you still want to save me?

???
Hehe. It's brave of you to admit that. **???**: Hehe. It's brave of you to admit that.

Kanade
..... **Kanade**: .....

???
But I already know listening to your song won't change anything. It might make me feel better for a while, but it would only end up strengthening my desire to disappear later. **???**: But I already know listening to your song won't change anything. It might make me feel better for a while, but it would only end up strengthening my desire to disappear later.

???
So it doesn't matter anymore. Just leave me alone. **???**: So it doesn't matter anymore. Just leave me alone.

Mizuki
Yuki! **Mizuki**: Yuki!

Ena
Just knock it off already! **Ena**: Just knock it off already!

Kanade
Huh? **Kanade**: Huh?

Mizuki
E-Enanan?! What are you doing here?! **Mizuki**: E-Enanan?! What are you doing here?!

Ena
I came to give Yuki a piece of my mind! **Ena**: I came to give Yuki a piece of my mind!

Ena
All her talk of not being able to find herself and that it'd be better if she just disappeared really pisses me off! **Ena**: All her talk of not being able to find herself and that it'd be better if she just disappeared really pisses me off!

???
..... **???**: .....

Ena
What's your problem? **Ena**: What's your problem?

Ena
How can you stand there with a straight face and say you'd rather disappear despite the fact that you have everything I've ever wanted?! **Ena**: How can you stand there with a straight face and say you'd rather disappear despite the fact that you have everything I've ever wanted?!

???
What are you talking about? **???**: What are you talking about?

???
I have nothing. I never have. **???**: I have nothing. I never have.

Ena
Nothing? **Ena**: Nothing?

Ena
I'm saying that's not the way I see it! **Ena**: I'm saying that's not the way I see it!

Ena
You have the ability to make such amazing songs! **Ena**: You have the ability to make such amazing songs!

Ena
And you have all those people waiting for your next one! **Ena**: And you have all those people waiting for your next one!

Ena
You're so talented it makes me angry! **Ena**: You're so talented it makes me angry!

Ena
You have so much of what I want that... I... I can't even stand it! **Ena**: You have so much of what I want that... I... I can't even stand it!

???
..... **???**: .....

Ena
I can't get your music out of my head! I hate selfish people like you so much, but I still can't help but want to listen to more. **Ena**: I can't get your music out of my head! I hate selfish people like you so much, but I still can't help but want to listen to more.

Ena
Even though I hate you, there's a part of me that doesn't want you to disappear. A part of me that wants to keep listening to your music! **Ena**: Even though I hate you, there's a part of me that doesn't want you to disappear. A part of me that wants to keep listening to your music!

Ena
So, don't disappear...make more of it! **Ena**: So, don't disappear...make more of it!

Ena
If you have talent, then for the sake of those who don't, keep writing! I won't forgive you if you just up and disappear now! **Ena**: If you have talent, then for the sake of those who don't, keep writing! I won't forgive you if you just up and disappear now!

???
It doesn't matter whether or not my songs are any good. **???**: It doesn't matter whether or not my songs are any good.

???
What I want isn't great songs, nor is it the praise of others. All I wanted was to find what I was looking for. **???**: What I want isn't great songs, nor is it the praise of others. All I wanted was to find what I was looking for.

???
But I now realize that it was all useless, so I no longer care. **???**: But I now realize that it was all useless, so I no longer care.

???
Maybe you just don't understand that. **???**: Maybe you just don't understand that.

Ena
Yuki, you little— **Ena**: Yuki, you little—

Mizuki
So that's it. I kind of understand how Yuki feels. **Mizuki**: So that's it. I kind of understand how Yuki feels.

Ena
Amia? **Ena**: Amia?

Mizuki
It doesn't matter how smart or rich or cute someone is. Everyone goes through rough times, right? **Mizuki**: It doesn't matter how smart or rich or cute someone is. Everyone goes through rough times, right?

Mizuki
Even if Yuki can make amazing songs, they don't mean anything if she's not able to find whatever it is that she wants most. **Mizuki**: Even if Yuki can make amazing songs, they don't mean anything if she's not able to find whatever it is that she wants most.

Mizuki
So I think if she really wants to disappear, then she should be free to do so. **Mizuki**: So I think if she really wants to disappear, then she should be free to do so.

Mizuki
We can say as much as we want, but only Yuki can truly understand what she's going through. **Mizuki**: We can say as much as we want, but only Yuki can truly understand what she's going through.

???
In that case— **???**: In that case—

Mizuki
But still, I just sort of got the feeling we were somehow alike. **Mizuki**: But still, I just sort of got the feeling we were somehow alike.

Mizuki
That part that feels like we might be able to change ourselves a bit at a time to fit in with those around us, and the confusion at whether we should resist or accept it. **Mizuki**: That part that feels like we might be able to change ourselves a bit at a time to fit in with those around us, and the confusion at whether we should resist or accept it.

Mizuki
Then getting so tired from trying so hard that nothing seems to matter anymore. I feel like we're similar in that. **Mizuki**: Then getting so tired from trying so hard that nothing seems to matter anymore. I feel like we're similar in that.

Mizuki
There aren't very many people who can understand how that feels. **Mizuki**: There aren't very many people who can understand how that feels.

Mizuki
And that's why I think I'd feel really sad if you were to disappear now. **Mizuki**: And that's why I think I'd feel really sad if you were to disappear now.

???
..... **???**: .....

???
You're all so selfish. **???**: You're all so selfish.

???
Getting jealous, sympathizing with me, trying to save me when I didn't ask for help. **???**: Getting jealous, sympathizing with me, trying to save me when I didn't ask for help.

???
Just stop. Haven't you done enough? **???**: Just stop. Haven't you done enough?

???
I want to disappear. That is my only true feeling. **???**: I want to disappear. That is my only true feeling.

Kanade
Yuki... **Kanade**: Yuki...

Kanade
Even if that's true, I still want to save you. **Kanade**: Even if that's true, I still want to save you.

???
..... **???**: .....

???
I can't take this any more! **???**: I can't take this any more!

???
I'm tired of believing there's still a chance I can find what I'm looking for. **???**: I'm tired of believing there's still a chance I can find what I'm looking for.

???
It would have been easier to believe I never could from the very beginning. **???**: It would have been easier to believe I never could from the very beginning.

???
So...that's why... **???**: So...that's why...

???
I don't want to believe I can be saved anymore! **???**: I don't want to believe I can be saved anymore!

Kanade
..... **Kanade**: .....

???
I'm tired! I look and I look and I look and I look! **???**: I'm tired! I look and I look and I look and I look!

???
But I just can't find it... Then when I look again, it's just not right and I get depressed... **???**: But I just can't find it... Then when I look again, it's just not right and I get depressed...

???
What am I even supposed to do?! **???**: What am I even supposed to do?!

Kanade
I'll keep composing. **Kanade**: I'll keep composing.

???
Huh? Why? **???**: Huh? Why?

Kanade
Even if this song isn't able to save you, I'll keep composing until I find the one that does. **Kanade**: Even if this song isn't able to save you, I'll keep composing until I find the one that does.

Kanade
I'll keep composing...until you can find yourself. **Kanade**: I'll keep composing...until you can find yourself.

???
What are you talking about? **???**: What are you talking about?

Kanade
Even if this is a curse, I won't stop. **Kanade**: Even if this is a curse, I won't stop.

Kanade
I can't bear the thought of another person disappearing right from in front of me. **Kanade**: I can't bear the thought of another person disappearing right from in front of me.

???
But... But... **???**: But... But...

???
Even you really want to disappear, don't you?! **???**: Even you really want to disappear, don't you?!

Kanade
Yeah. I do. **Kanade**: Yeah. I do.

Kanade
So if I ever get depressed and look like I might disappear... **Kanade**: So if I ever get depressed and look like I might disappear...

Kanade
I want you to tell me that you still haven't found what you're looking for. **Kanade**: I want you to tell me that you still haven't found what you're looking for.

Kanade
If you say that, I'll be able to continue composing forever. **Kanade**: If you say that, I'll be able to continue composing forever.

???
Ridiculous. **???**: Ridiculous.

???
Do you even realize what you're saying? All you're doing is cursing yourself with another burden! **???**: Do you even realize what you're saying? All you're doing is cursing yourself with another burden!

???
You're forcing yourself to keep composing songs until I'm able to find myself! **???**: You're forcing yourself to keep composing songs until I'm able to find myself!

Kanade
Yeah. I know. **Kanade**: Yeah. I know.

???
..... **???**: .....

???
Why...would you go that far? **???**: Why...would you go that far?

Kanade
Well... **Kanade**: Well...

Kanade
I'm just being selfish. **Kanade**: I'm just being selfish.

???
..... **???**: .....

Kanade
It doesn't matter which path I choose. Either way, I have to keep composing. **Kanade**: It doesn't matter which path I choose. Either way, I have to keep composing.

Kanade
So doing this for you doesn't change a thing. **Kanade**: So doing this for you doesn't change a thing.

???
..... **???**: .....

???
I just don't know... **???**: I just don't know...

???
I don't know how long it might take before I find myself. I may never be able to. **???**: I don't know how long it might take before I find myself. I may never be able to.

???
Even knowing that...you still want to do this? **???**: Even knowing that...you still want to do this?

Kanade
Yeah. **Kanade**: Yeah.

???
..... **???**: .....

???
Haha. You look so dumb, acting all desperate. **???**: Haha. You look so dumb, acting all desperate.

???
Hahaha... Haha... **???**: Hahaha... Haha...

???
Fine... I will try looking...a bit more... **???**: Fine... I will try looking...a bit more...

Kanade
Yuki... **Kanade**: Yuki...

???
You promise to keep writing music as long as it takes? **???**: You promise to keep writing music as long as it takes?

Kanade
...Yeah. **Kanade**: ...Yeah.

Kanade
It's all right, Yuki. I promise I'll save you someday. **Kanade**: It's all right, Yuki. I promise I'll save you someday.