Episode 6

The sixth episode of Lecture Hall, uploaded on October 25, 2020.

recapped by Kevin on 10/15/21

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* Broti admits that she has ordered a ring light, a truly evil device. She predicts she will have a photo shoot and send them all to Dylan since she is not a “post hot photos” person
	+ Dylan returns to the topic of the hottest Lecture Hall-inspired trend, the Mirror Challenge, by noting that a ring light will only intensify it
	+ Broti plans to bring the ring light everywhere she goes, and notes her lack of disposal income and how she has now endangered her health
* Dylan has an upsetting on set update during the era of COVID
	+ Broti is most upset that a doctor said “mucus” to a group of creatives
	+ Dylan gives an embarrassing description of craft services and the woman who tracks all of her eating habits
	+ Broti asks about marshmallow guns, which Dylan hears as “marshmallow gums”, a debilitating disease
	+ Dylan then describes an amazing potato gun that turns whole potatoes into smaller potato chunk ammo and moves onto the Slap Chop and its famous pitchman Vince Offer
	+ Dylan then creates a great ad for kidnapping, calling it “going to jail for arresting someone”
* B&D then discuss a listener request, a first for the pod
	+ Dylan asks if the talking dog is real, and describes a dog that pushes buttons to talk (in reality there are like ten of these on the internet right now so it’s unclear which one the listener and B&D are talking about)
	+ Micro-pig Pinky comes up again as they acknowledge how incredibly fake looking Pinky is, in fact Dylan compares it to the animated Charlotte’s Web
	+ Santa Clause Hall: Broti reveals a shocking secret about Santa
		- Dylan says that her grandmother ruined it for her at an undetermined age that Dylan calls “too old”
		- Broti claims she “just figured it out when she was like seven or something” but then reveals that her father once wrote “Santa M.D.” on a gift, which is a completely insane fact on its face and contradicts her claim just seconds earlier
		- Broti then tells a depressing story about a school friend who has economic reasons for believing in Santa
* Dylan then reveals that they both have a really long thing and says Broti is going first

### Broti's Topic

* Broti’s topic is Walt Disney himself
* Dylan decides to rattle off some Walt Disney facts just to help Broti out
	+ Famous cartoonist
	+ Didn’t draw Mickey (Broti disagrees)
	+ The anti-semitism stuff
	+ The cryogenic freezing stuff (Broti disagrees again but admits she did not get to this part in her topic)
		- Worm Hall begins as Dylan repeats a headline about prehistoric frozen worms and Broti recounts a horrifying tale of her gym teacher making her eat an earthworm
			* Dylan says her class was forced to raise an earthworm at some point, something Broti missed out on because she quickly ate hers
			* Dylan realizes that Broti was actually auditioning for Fear Factor Jr, a “really good idea” that Dylan doesn’t want anyone to take
			* Dylan seems to regret this tangent and asks Broti to return to her topic
* Broti mentions the mysterious cartoonist Ryan Walker
	+ Dylan says she went to school with him
	+ Broti shuts her down, demonstrating her amazing improv skills with the popular, “no, he’s too old” technique
* Broti reveals that she ordered the ring light instead of researching the area where Walt Disney grew up before quickly transitioning to his interest in trains, a fact abandoned as quickly as it is brought up
* Broti then notes that she and Walt have mind-blowing similarities, although this is mostly just limited to being cartoonists for their school newspaper
	+ Broti reveals her cartooning technique - just kinda copying some clipart she found
* Broti promises that listeners will learn Walt Disney is a huge, capitalist loser
* B&D agree that the Red Cross will find you if they need you
* Dylan drags non-famous friend of Disney with a glasses-store-ass name, Ub Iwerks
* During a discussion of paper cut out style animation, Dylan reveals she thinks Cartman is so funny, and Broti admits that Family Guy is also really funny despite social pressure against appreciating these low forms of humor
* Broti has a classic Broti run where she reveals Walt was a Sneaky Bitch but abruptly transitions to Walt’s move to Hollywood to be with his sick brother Roy (a classic Roy move).  As usual, the facts that Broti calls out or find interesting are a complete mystery, and further proof that her lecture style is total chaos
* Broti reveals it is Female Filmmaker Friday, celebrating Margaret J Winkler, Henry's father
* Dylan decides to rename the podcast The Dylan Gelula Podcast
	+ Broti is relieved as she has troubling finding the pod
	+ Dylan agrees, as searching for Lecture Hall apparently leads to “a couple of country boys being real”
* Noted feminist Broti talks about Walt’s wife “birthing” their two daughters Diane and Sharon, something that instantly makes her uncomfortable
	+ B&D muse on a baby named Sharon until Broti reveals that Walt’s wife did not actually birth a baby named Sharon (she was adopted)
	+ Dylan sympathizes with the Disney family being cagey about Sharon’s adoption as she hates anyone knowing any facts about her, too
* B&D celebrate famed cartoon character Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
* Dylan feels like the voice Walt uses for Mickey is a real “first draft voice”
	+ Dylan follows it up with an amazing Mickey Mouse impression
* Broti is tickled by the Hollywood press calling Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs “Disney’s Folly” and decides she will call everything Dylan stars in “Dylan’s Folly”
* Broti refuses to tell Dylan who gave Disney a lifetime achievement award, but quickly relents
	+ Broti questions the significance of the Oscars
	+ She also says that the dumbest people you know went to Harvard in the 1940s, but Dylan thinks that just the dumbest people you know win Oscars
	+ Dylan declares the podcast anti-awards (until they win one)
* Broti realizes how anti-semetic the story of Pinnochio was
* B&D claim that all pre-WW2 animated movies are exactly the same
	+ There is a great takedown of Dumbo in this segment
	+ Broti mentions the “theater to boat pipeline” but Dylan improves upon it by mentioning the “Dumbo to combat pipeline” seconds later
* Shout out to Broti’s doctor’s office for trying to recruit her for the war, where she will be shot out of a cannon
	+ Unfortunately, Broti goes out laughing
	+ Broti has the line of the episode with “I have a GoPro snuff film”
	+ Broti’s mental image has her still wearing her glasses, shoutout to sponsor Warby Parker and their superior nosegrips
* A brief Inside Baseball Corner
	+ Broti calls the House Un-American Activities Committee “Deadline-endorsed”
	+ Dylan mentions Nellie Andreeva, Broti’s #1 Hollywood Feud
* Broti winds down her Walt Disney’s life segment mentioning two equally insane facts about him
	+ He spent the last 20 years of his life as a union-busting asshole
	+ His family had a backyard railroad that had to be closed because of a series of accidents
* B&D think they may have confused the 1950 live-action Treasure Island film with the 1996 live-action/Muppet film Muppet Treasure Island
* Much like Disneyland, Dylan says she read their podcast “invokes the dreams of tomorrow” and Broti says it has “some of the pleasant things of yesterday”, but otherwise it is just two bitches talking
	+ Broti imagines a Lecture Hall theme park
	+ Dylan says nothing there would work and everything would get postponed
	+ Broti imagines it is them just driving people around
	+ Dylan realizes that only one of them would show up and the other would forget or have something else to do
* B&D list the vast talent of the Mickey Mouse club
* B&D admire Walt Disney’s work on the 1960 Winter Olympics Pageantry Committee, comparing him to noted dance mom and ex-convict Abby Lee Miller
* 101 Dalmatians Corner
	+ Broti ponders the name “Cruella”
	+ Dylan thinks there is an acceptable number of dogs that could become coats
	+ B&D agree a rabbit coat would be superior to a dog coat
* Broti announces the lesson of her topic is to smoke filtered cigarettes instead of unfiltered
* Broti calls out the anti-semitism of Wikipedia, then follows it up with the craziest pronunciation of “Jews”
* Dylan recognizes how crazy her favorite movie “Song of the South” is, and Broti points out it is why she became an actor
* Dylan then ponders making a joke(?) about a Ben Nye palette and if it will get her cancelled
* After realizing they have been talking for 51 minutes, Dylan announces her topic is Halloween

### Dylan's Topic

* Dylan lists about ten alternate names for Halloween I have never heard before (but I am a stupid American)
* Dylan starts to talk about the origins of the holiday but decided to skip it because it was boring
* B&D agree that they are seen as faeries that shouldn’t come into this world but are respected and feared, much like Micro-pig Pinky
* The Mirror Challenge returns as a possible Halloween activity, in addition to “Others”
* Dylan declares that most of the topics on the pod are all “half right and open to interpretation”, like all art
* Fortune Telling Game Corner
	+ Broti recognizes that Dylan is speaking about the hit game MASH, which is also a disappointing TV show
	+ Dylan describes a very poorly designed apple peel toss, and Broti realizes this rules out any future spouse whose name starts with K, something I’m especially bummed about
	+ Dylan rhymes again talking about chestnuts, and she requests someone set this part of the pod to music (to date I have not heard of anyone doing this)
	+ Dylan describes a normal day for Broti where she bakes a salty oatmeal bannock, she eats it in three bites, then goes to bed in silence (she calls this “bedtime”)
	+ Dylan clearly does some kind of amazing physical comedy while describing a spinning skull but this is an audio podcast
* Dylan struggles to describe a man dressing up as a horse without laughing, a scenario Broti compares to the NBC Page program
* Broti recites a line of “Teenage Dream” in a sort of Bela Lugosi/Dracula style, the first mention of Katy Perry on the pod
	+ Dylan declares Teenage Dream the official favorite song of Lecture Hall
* Broti and Dylan both agree they could easily be tricked into climbing a tree
* Dylan stops to ask the definition of the word mendacity, but decides that it means when a man tries to step to her (or MANdacity)
* Dylan asks a True/False question and it take Broti a few seconds to realize it is being asked of her, the only other person who could possibly answer Dylan
* Broti thinks that kids should decide on an act of mischief to give more weight to the titular trick in Trick or Treat, such as identity theft
* B&D are mystified by the mention of Trunk or Treat, a thing I have personally heard of countless times
* Broti returns to her gameshow inventing career, this time creating “Are You Eaten by a Fifth Grader?”
* Shout out to Broti’s dead gym teacher, a murder which she claims to have an alibi for
* Broti punches up the Portugese trick-or-treating song by just suggesting Teenage Dream
* Broti gets to guess the most popular pet costumes
	+ Pumpkin - she is fucking dead on
	+ Spider - a sad no
	+ Vampire(?)
	+ Dylan suggests “Broti Gupta”
	+ Bumblebee - correct!
	+ Dylan gives a clue and Broti fails to guess Hot Dog, instead suggesting the late, great Farrah Fawcett
* Dylan reveals her actor diet is pumpkin, candy, and apples, which she sadly has to beg a craft services lady for
* Dylan wraps up her segment with a beautiful sentiment for all us goddamn heathens
* Broti announces the podcast is a Christian holiday and Dylan agrees, and we’re encouraged to take from that exactly what we will
* Halloween Costume Corner
	+ Broti decides to wear popular pet costume “Broti Gupta” this year
	+ Dylan shots out a funny Onion headline
* Broti is shocked to learn the pod is only 1 hour 15 minutes instead of 3 hours
	+ Dylan puts herself down and “boyfriend of the pod” Greg appears to groan in the background, unofficially appearing as the first guest
* Despite Broti wanting to abruptly end, but Dylan thanks the listeners and hopes they all burn in hell first, and Broti encourages us to listen to Teenage Dream

## Topics

### Broti's Topic

* Disney (specifically, the life of Walt Disney)