Barnyard: Tex and The Original Party Animals Part One: The Cows Have Entered The Chat

Warning: The following contains graphic content. Viewer discretion is advised.

Toppy, Asriel, Dave, Rohan, Tex, and I screamed, as we were yeeted into the portal that Tex. EXE opened. We already got 2/6 of the Main Six that we needed to save the multiverse from EXE. But as promised, Tex. EXE was making out mission harder, by teleporting us into a portal to who knows where.

"Where do you think he's taking us?!" asked Dave, as we continued going through the portal.

"I don't know!" said Toppy. "I'm honestly just surprised that a Henry Stickman teleporter actually worked!"

"Really?" I asked. "That's the one thing on your mind right now, Toppy?"

"What?!" asked Toppy. "Those teleporters never work."

"Yeah," said Asriel. "Tex. EXE's teleporter must be super-charged or something."

"Or a newer model," added Rohan.

"Like a deluxe?" asked Tex.

"Sort of," said Rohan.

"Enough with the Henry Stickman Teleporter!" I said, trying to get my team together. "We have bigger fish to fry right now, guys!"

I wasn't kidding: We blacked out as we hit the ground hard in our next destination. When we woke up, we noticed that we were in the entryway to a farm. I got up and read the sign. The sign read, "Barnyard".

We were in the Barnyard universe.

"Guys," I said. "This is the Barnyard universe!"

"You mean, the home of those memes?" asked Toppy.

"Yes, Toppy," I said, as I looked down at my hands, noticing that they were now hooves. "Why are my hands hooves?"

Everyone else noticed this as well. So, we went to look at themselves in a nearby stream. We screamed in horror as we noticed that we were now cows. Girl cows, no less, as we had udders.

"We're cows!" said Dave. "How are we gonna get to the Finding Nemo universe without being turned into a burger in the process?!"

"Or a nice ribeye steak!" added Rohan. "It's not like someone conveniently left a note for us out in the open, explaining how to get out of here!"

"Wait," I said, as I picked up a note, written by Tex. EXE. "There's a note: "In order to get out of this world, get three animal meats together - Sexy Texy. EXE." So, it looks like we're gonna have to ask whoever's in that barnyard to help us get meat."

"OK! Sure! I'll moo at the nearest farmer, and we can sit down with him at coffee to discuss the meat business with him. Do you think that we could supply him with our own creamer?" asked Toppy, sarcastically.

"I mean, we could," said Tex. "It just wouldn't taste really good and it would still have bacteria in it, most likely."

"That was sarcasm!" yelled Toppy. "We're cows! Girl cows, no less! If we were to even go near the farmer, he'd turn us into five quarter pounders in a minute!"

"Well," I said, pointing to Otis the Cow, Pig the, well, Pig, Freddy the Ferret, Peck the Chicken, and Pip the Mouse, coming down on a nearby surfboard. "It doesn't seem to be a problem for those guys."

We all hid behind the sign, as we saw the five animals coming into the barnyard.

"That was fun, guys!" said Otis, as he dusted himself off.

"Agreed, bro!" said Pip. "But don't you feel like that something's missing from your life?"

"What do you mean?" asked Otis.

"Think about it, Otis," said Pip. "16 years ago, you were a reckless individual, who was constantly being nagged by your dad about not having fun and trying to find a purpose in your life. Then, you lost your Dad, unexpectedly became leader of the Barnyard, and defeated Dag and his coyotes. Then, from 2011-2014, you had a psychopathic diva, chasing after you, looking to put you in a lab for testing. Now, you're back to recklessness. I feel like there has to be something missing."

"Everything I could ever want is right here!" said Otis. "Great friends, an awesome farmer, and the cutest of all cute chicks!"

"Maddie?" asked Peck.

"No, Foghorn Leghorn," said Otis, sarcastically. "Of course, Maddie! Me and her have been through so much since I met her. She's like a daughter to me."

"Odie, Odie! Odie, Odie!"

At that moment, said cutest of all cute chicks, who we found out was named Maddie, ran up to Otis and hopped into his hoof. Pip, Pig, Peck, and Freddy left to give Otis some alone time with his friend.

"Hey, Maddie," said Otis. "Looking good over there!"

"Chubba face, you crazy cow!" said Maddie, as she smooshed Otis' cheeks together. "Say, "I'm smooshy."

"I am smooshy," said Otis, with his smooshed face, much to Maddie's amusement. "OK. Now you. Say, "Boy, is it windy."

Otis then proceeded to stretch Maddie's face, much to her amusement.

"Boy, is it windy," said Maddie, as her and Otis laughed.

"Oh my God!" I said, admiring the cuteness. "They are so adorable!"

"No, no, no," said Toppy, trying to shield himself from the cuteness. "Not falling for the cuteness. Cuteness is distracting to our missions. I mean, look at our adventure with Boo 2."

"But look at them," said Dave, as his eyes became hearts. "When I have kids, I want to be just like Otis. He seems like a good dad."

"So what?" asked Toppy, still not falling under the cuteness spell. "We just gonna stand here, watching a cow and chick play games, and ignore the fact that we are girl cows that have to ask those animals to help us get three different meats, so we can get out of this universe and resume our original mission of saving the multiverse from EXE?!"

"Come on, Top Dog," said Tex. "Just at least acknowledge the cuteness."

"Fine," said Toppy, as he slowly fell for the cuteness, his collar becoming pink. "AAAAAAAAAWWWWWW! You guys are right! They are totally cute. I highly doubt that anything can mess up the cute..."

"THE COYOTES!!!!! THE COYOTES!!!! THE COYOTES ARE ATTACKING!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! AAAAAAH!" said Root the Rooster, as Dag and his coyotes gang raided the barnyard, with cooking stuff.

"I'm back, baby!" yelled Dag, as he turned to Otis and Maddie. "Hello, Otis! Remember me?!"

"I thought I told you to never come back 16 years ago!" said Otis in anger, as Maddie got behind him, cowering in fear.

"Yes," said Dag. "For 16 years, me and my coyotes were in the Grand Canyon, trying to hunt for various small mice and leftover picnic stuff, in hopes of survival. But as you know, we are ruthless and desperate creatures. We will do anything to get what we want. What we want is chicken and any other animal we can find in this farm!"

"You're a big meaner!" yelled Maddie, who was still cowering behind Otis.

"You again?! You have the guts to face me twice, huh?!" yelled Dag, as he sent two coyotes after Maddie. "Get her, boys! We'll start with her as the salad. You know, because I'm a meaner?"

The coyotes nodded and knocked Otis out, while one put Maddie into a salad bowl. Our team watched in horror as the coyotes prepared the Cobb salad.

"We have to help that chick!" said Dave.

"But how?!" asked Rohan, before getting an idea.

We saw a couple of Girl Scout uniforms, laying around the farm, which we assumed were the farmer's granddaughters' uniforms. But we all exchanged glances, agreeing to the idea.

"We take this to our graves," said Toppy, as he put on the Girl Scout uniform.

"Agreed," said Dave, as he put on his.

Meanwhile, Dag and his Coyote Gang were continuing to get the Maddie Cobb Salad together, adding eggs, bacon, and the various vegetables into the bowl, with the poor chick. But at that moment, we walked in, disguised as Girl Scouts.

"Hello, fine Coyote!" said Rohan, pulling out a clipboard and pen. "Looking hungry, are we?"

"Yes," said Dag. "We're trying to make a Cobb Salad out of this chick right now. So, how about you let us be?"

"Do you know what's better than Cobb Salad?" asked Toppy. "Our various Girl Scout cookies!!!!!!!! We have our most popular flavors right now, with a new homemade recipe!"

"I could go for some cookies," said one coyote.

"Same," said another.

"Well, I guess I could spoil my dinner," said Dag, not noticing me, moving towards the Maddie salad bowl.

"Maddie, it's us, the Multiverse Protectors," I said, as I poured out the salad, with Maddie in it. "Run, while you can. Don't waste time."

"Thank you, Kadin," said Maddie, as she raced to the hen coop.

"Take your pick, boys!" said Asriel. "We have Thin Mints, Adventurefuls, Caramel Chocolate Chip, Caramel deLites, Samoas, Do-si-dos, S'mores, Lemonades, Lemon-Ups, Tagalongs, Trefoils, Toast-Yay!s, and Toffee Tastics! They are all yours!"

"What do you think, boys?" asked Dag. "Do you want to go classic and get Thin Mints?"

"Yeah," said the coyotes.

"We'll take a dozen boxes of Thin Mints," said Dag, as he whipped out a couple hundred bucks.

"OK," said Toppy, as he sent the coyotes on their way with the wagon of cookies and empty salad bowl. "Here you go! Have a good trip!"

The coyotes were enjoying the cookies so much, that they were oblivious to the fact that I had saved Maddie from becoming a delicious Cobb salad. Otis woke up and noticed us.

"You guys must be The Multiverse Protectors!" said Otis. "I've heard a lot about you! I think you might be just what we need to ensure that the coyotes never come back!"

"OK," said Rohan. "We'll help you out with your coyote problem. But we also need help."

"Yeah," said Toppy. "See, there's this new villain called Tex. EXE, who also has a substance called EXE, who is deadset on making the multiverse to his liking by making characters evil for being afraid of THX. He yeeted us into a portal to this place, and veered us off course of our mission to get the Main Six that we need to save the multiverse. So, we need your help to get three different meats to get us back on course!"

"Why does it have to be meat?" asked Otis.

"I don't know," said Rohan. "Tex. EXE didn't say in the note."

"OK," said Otis. "My friends and I can help you. They have the skills that you'll need for your mission."

"Perfect!" I said.

"We'll leave at dawn," said Otis. "But first, let's party!"

So, we were on our way to a party in the barn. But the EXE would strike again, and it would begin to get emotional.

Our new adventure is on.

(To be continued...)