Hugh G. Lection

### Characters (in order of appearance)

Allon, Pinkfrosting88, Random McPerson (Cameo), Space Tree, The Commander, Reginald, Mee, Ghost Spider, Nana McNoodles

## Credits

### Special credits

Datlin................................Nana McNoodles
Kagome....................................Pinkfrosting
Matt K....................................Ghost Spider

There's a huge ~~ere~~ election.

## Transcript

*(Allon walks in)*

**Allon:** Here's the new batch!

**PinkFrosting:** *(Grabs a stack of papers from Allon, starts tossing photos away)* No, no, no, no *(We see Random McPerson standing by a wall as papers hit near him)* no WAY, *(We see Random McPerson get struck between the eyes by a photo)* no... no... no.

**Allon:** *(Holds up last photo)* I think this one looks pretty good!

**PinkFrosting:** No it doesn't, it looks hideous, just like the others. We still haven't captured the right *angle. (Picks up and examines a CAMERA 2000)*

**Allon:** Oh, Pinkfrosting88, the angle doesn't matter. You're beautiful no matter what! *(Holds up mug with those words)* See?

**PinkFrosting:** Allon, I told you I wanted my name spelled with a capital "F" on these posters. *(She stands by a poster that reads "Vote For Pinkfrosting88 and get a free novelty mug!". She produces and strikes Random McPerson with a capital "F".)* CAPITAL.

**Allon:** Sorry. *(Holds up a picture of PinkFrosting with 1 eye shut)* Hey, this one's pretty cute.

**PinkFrosting:** Burn it. *(She tosses a GAS can at him)* Burn those, too. *(Tosses a GAS can towards a pile of photos and Random McPerson's bloodied body)*. And for the next batch, *(We switch to CAMERA VISION as PinkFrosting rotates the CAMERA 2000)* try and frame it where my mouth doesn't look so crooked.

**Commander** How's this one, Space Tree? *(He holds a poster that reads "A VOTE FOR SPACE TREE MEENS A BOAT FOR SPACE TREE")*

**Space Tree:** *(Not looking)* Yeah, its fine, whatever.

**Commander** Well, don't you want to correct my spelling?

**Space Tree:** I don't think that's necessary. I mean, *(Sunglasses appear)* it's not like anyone's really going to vote for PinkFrosting over me.

**Commander** Oh, because she's a girl?

**Space Tree:** No, Commander, don't be racist. *(Walks down a hall of portraits)* Marone will vote for me because he hates her, Allon will vote for me because he is easily intimidated, *(Coming to Commander who stands by empty frame)* and you will vote for me because, well, you're clearly the smartest guy on the ship. So, that covers everybody, right?

*(Scene change to close up of Reginald)*

**Mee:** Hey Reginald, check this out. *(Holds up poster that depicts a drooling PinkFrosting and Space Tree, with his trunk reading PL instead of ST, and reads "WHOEVER WINS... I WILL GET $10 BVP BUG EATER VS. POTATO LOVER")*

**Reginald:** Bug Eater versus potato lover. Heh, that's pretty funny.

**Mee:** Well, I was thinking you could put it on your TV show, and then you could pay me for my comedy writing talents.

**Reginald:** Well I don't think so. Despite what I said a few seconds ago, it's not really that funny. But thanks for the offer.

**Mee:** Yeah, I guess you're right. So who are you gunna vote for?

**Reginald:** I'm afraid that's a very personal question, Meelord. I can't answer it right now.

**Mee:** Well I'll tell you who I'M voting for: Nobody. Because voting is for Loo-sers.

**Reginald:** Well, if that's true, I predict PinkFrosting will win by 1 vote.

**Mee:** WHAT! Over my dead nutsack! *(He dashes out of the room)*

*(Back to PinkFrosting and Allon, as PinkFrosting stands beside her new campaign poster)*

**Allon:** Are you sure you want to use this photo? I mean it kind of looks like you're trying too hard. This one is much prettier.

**PinkFrosting:** I THOUGHT I told you to burn that. *(Throws another GAS can at Allon)*

**Mee:** Heh, nice photo, "Stinkfrosting". Or should I say.. nice photoSHOP.

**Allon:** Actually, we just used the slime remover filter of Paintshop Pro.

**Mee:** Well it's a moot point anyway, because all the crappy photo editing in the world couldn't make you the least bit attractive. And if you think you're getting my vote for the election, you are mistaken. *(He draws a moustache on her poster)* You disgust me so much. It hurts... deep down inside. \*Sigh\*

**PinkFrosting:** I'll give you 10$ if you vote for me.

**Mee:** Deal!

*(Scene Transition, we briefly see Space Tree's Ship from the outside before going back inside)*

**Space Tree:** Well, here we are. The votes are coming in any second now. I just want you to know that, no matter who wins this whole thing, *(Produces her campaign poster)* this photo looks ridiculous.

**PinkFrosting:** Yeah, well, the lighting in my room wasn't very good.

**Space Tree:** Are you implying that I have cameras hidden inside the light bulbs? Because they were Marone's idea. I haven't even watched the footage yet.

**Allon:** Hey everyone, I've got the results!

**Commander** *(We see Random McPerson standing next to Commander, with a black eye and stitches on his forehead)* Whoa, wait a second Allon, I think you forgot to get this guy's vote.

**Allon:** Uh, Commander, there's no one there. You're just looking in a mirror.

**Commander** Oh, right, never mind.

**Commander's Reflection:** You are so stupid.

**Allon:** OK, I counted the results in the other room, so now I will announce the winner. Here goes. \*Ahem\* *(The camera slowly zooms in on Allon as he utters each phrase)* The new captain... of this ship... is... going... to beeee... the name - on this list... That I'm gunna read... right NOOOOOWWWWW- *(His face goes all screwy)*

**Fuck You Guy:** Get on with it, you fucking flower! *(Referring to Allon's flowered shirt)*

**Allon:** Allright, sorry. The new captain is... Ghost Spider!

*(Applause is heard as Ghost Spider is lowered into the CAPTAIN CIRCLE)*

**Ghost Spider** Wow, thanks everybody. You know, this really means a lot to me, especially since I've never actually set foot on this ship before. But I really appreciate your votes, but I think I'm going to have to hand over my captaincy to my good friend, Space Tree.

**Space Tree:** Shut up, Ghost Spider. I don't need your charity, alright? Get the hell out of here.

**Ghost Spider** OK, see you next year. *(He rapidly ascends)*

**PinkFrosting:** Who was that?

**Space Tree:** That friggin crab wasn't even on the ballot. Just read the name with the second highest number of votes, Allon.

**Allon:** Ok. Well then, the NEW new captain of the ship is, Nana McNoodles!

*(A mix of boos and claps as we see Nana standing in the CAPTAIN CIRCLE. Some shouts out "You suck, Noodles!")*

**Nana McNoodles**: Oh, thank you everybody, I don't know what to say. I just --

**Space Tree:** God. ALLON! Just stop screwing around and tell us who won out of me and Pink Frosting.

**Allon**: Oh, OK then. Out of Space Tree and Pink Frosting, it's a TIE!

**Space Tree:** What?

**Allon:** That's right, you both got Zero votes. Congratulations!

*(Roll Credits)*

## Easter Eggs

* Click on Random McPerson's eye to see the poster.

* Click on his cigarette to see an extra scene with the Commander and Mee discussing the election results.

### Easter Egg Transcript

**Commander:** Wait, so if it's a tie, does that mean they're both captain, or neither of them are?

**Mee:** Who the shit gives a fuck?

**Commander:** Well, I do, and Allon probably does. I just want to know whose captain orders to follow.

**Mee:** Why don't you follow my captain orders and shut the h\*\*l up?

**Commander:** But, you're not the captain.

* At the end, right click and select Play to see a blank screen and hear Allon say "Oh Pink Frosting Eighty-Eigggggggghhhhhhhhht..."

## Fun Facts

* The mug says: I JUST VOTED FOR PINKFROSTING AND THEN I GOT THIS MUG BUT IT'S NOT A BRIBE IT'S JUST LIKE A "THANK YOU" GIFT PLUS YOU CAN DRINK OUT OF IT
* Ghost Spider's voice sounds a little different in this episode. In a forum post, Ed Atlin said that he changed it so that Ghost Spider wouldn't sound so much like Allon.

## References

* This is another appearance of Mugs.
* We once again see Space Tree's Sunglasses.
* While presenting his poster to Space Tree, the Commander holds the Sideburn Comb from Sideburned in Space. He also holds it in the easter egg.
* Mee's poster "Bug Eater vs. Potato Lover" refers to both Space Tree's addiction to Potatoes as seen in The Potato Farm, and to Clouds where Mee saw PF88 eating bugs.
	+ It's also a play on the poster for the 2004 film *Alien vs. Predator*. The page title also refers to this poster, with its tagline "Whoever wins, we lose."
* This episode has a mix of censored and uncensored swearing.
* "Get on with it you fucking flower!" was originally called out at The Stem and Commander's wedding in The Sanctity.
* This is the second time Allon has reassured PinkFrosting by saying "Oh PinkFrosting88..." and quoting off a mug (the first time being from The Italian Job).
* The guy yelling off-screen "GET ON WITH IT YOU FUCKING FLOWER" and "YOU SUCK NOODLES" is a reference to the character Donny from The Trailer Park Boys, as confirmed by Ed Atlin in a forum post here.