Tig's Bits™

*"there's no way i'm ever getting sick of that foghorn"* - tig naruto

## archive of past bits:

***wave number 1 (the foghorn era)***

* catchphrase tourney

* things to ask in a job interview when they say "now, do you have any questions for us?"
* asphyxia mattress sponsor spot
* jokes i wrote in a semi-lucid weighted blanket dream
* citizenship practice test
* onlyfans content tourney
* these are words
* podracer tourney (aka G A S G A N O)
* top ten dates on the cheap
* woody harrelson? more like...
* seven telltale signs you've been abducted by aliens

***wave number 2 (the jaws speech era)***

* catchphrase tourney 2.0
* tig's warlockery tips and tricks: vol. 1
* stripper names
* i tired (hooliganism)
* double-down reboots
* new fruits

   ***wave number who cares (T I M E T R A V E L)***

* future tig (aka Tig in Time, aka The Tiginator)
* late solstice? maybe? i might have lost track.
* ama (in regards to watching too much stand-up that i dislike)
* things i can hear from my window (mostly a person with a trumpet that they don't know how to play) (ALSO THIS ONE DOESN'T COUNT)
* seven totally cool summertime activities
* LET ME NAME YOUR BABY

**new wave? i don't fuckin' know. (outside of time, because you nerds can't follow directions and you broke time)**

* another time travel thing
* tea o'clock ("shimmyin' shakin' quit yer bellyachin'")
* top ten spice girls ("rat ass back fat" - susie)
* if i could have 81 superpowers ("CATCHPHRAAAAASE!!!" - sam)
* america's next talk tigbits ("as above, so below. The human being finds himself, or herself, in the middle. There is as much space outside the human, proportionately, as inside. Stars, moons, and planets remind us of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Is there a bigger being walking with all the stars within? Does our thinking affect what goes on outside us, and what goes on inside us? I think it does. Where does creamed corn figure into the workings of the universe? What really is creamed corn? Is it a symbol for something else?" - forrest)
* let's-a make-a da soup ("zip zop clitori" - dot)
* things to do ("for your next bit make the fog horn sound" - bates)
* WE'RE GONNA SETTLE IT ONCE AND FOR ALL: PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA, YES? OR DEFINITELY YES? ("#notallincels" - unionapprentice)
* shit's about to get spooky ("where's the bathroom?" - susie)
* spooky scary story ("i am going to run out of catchphrases at some point so go ahead and send them into my dms" - sam)
* top ten scary villain boiz ("Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair or two cups of good hot black coffee." - forrest)
* tricks n' treats ("discourse? i'll take intercourse any day!" - dot)
* where do socks go? ("please don't shit on me" - susie)

**probably time for another wave, right? i guess time is all better now. nature is healing.**

* observational comedy ("This the catchphrase to Tigs Bit, yep that's it ... Wait that rhymes!!" - headcheese\_henry)
* let's-a make-a da soup 2 ("dorothy sloane green's tits are phenomenal" - dot)
* asmr adventure ("i've got three eggs: a gator, a bird, and a snake. which will you save? which will you eat?" - susie)
* the tig's bits holliday gift guide ("and that's the problem with kids these days" - unionapprentice)
* All Out A-Taco on Christmas ("i come in a pants down under" - susie) (this was also the night that emilypineapple found out that Dr. Evil is played by Mike Meyers)
* Top Ten Cars ("chuck, is this chuck? this is your cousin, marvin - marvin berry? you know that sound you've been looking for? well, listen to this (fart noise)" - susie)
* Top Ten Very Good Hero Boiz ("i'm ding fobbins and i'm gonna fuck your mom" - susie)
* Talkin' Bleak ("i am speed. kachow." - forrest)
* Potatoes: What Are They, Really? ("catchphrases are over, i'm all about match phrases now" - dot)
* Johnny Depp-ardy! ("it's got eyes" - dandelion)
* let's do a frindle ("please stop sending me catchphrases, i'm closing my DMs, no more catchphrases please!" - sam)
* analyzing the lyrics to the frasier theme song ("come to the dark side, we have cummies" - susie)
* how to be funny ("TOG CRAVES CATCHPHRASES" - forrest)
* ***ANIVERSARY PRANKS*** ("Bump a fist and flick a wrist. It's tuna time. and THAT was a cardboard box. it's fat tuesday, bitch! strawberry fields for NEVER! anti-THIS-establishmentarianism. fisherman's warf is hot tonight. this IS my catchphrase. i'm a sleepy lil bitch. **there's no way I'm getting sick of that foghorn.**" - *tog classic*)
* ***P U Z Z F U C K*** / Ceramic Mushroom People ("my new nickname is big cum" - susie)
* new things to say when you pass someone while running ("hi what are you up to. im izzy" - sam)
* fashion question: where's the line of too much magician (my dms are more open and wide spread than the bp oil spill" - fuku)
* rocks or the rock? ("mc hotdog can't piss" - susie)
* gucci makes baby clothes (***FUCKING WHY***)

## tig's bits legends

* top ten sandwiches
* top ten sandwiches: the return