317: 1,000 Mugs of Twig Tea on the Wall

## Summary

The party trundle off as a new day dawns, each of them doing their best to pass the time on the long road trip. Raphina struggles with boredom while Will works with Sheemie on his reading. Having settled up on the roof of the Rutabago, Batthwack revives Captain Clockface with the rod given to him by the Anglerfish.

## Synopsis

As has become the norm, the party feel refreshed and reinvigorated as the sun rises. Rosco's driving the Rutabago while Will grumbles about the weirdness of it all. Out of all the vehicles Rosco could have bought, why this one? And is there even a privy on this thing? Rosco points out the hole in the wall and everyone's mind races as they wonder how that's been used. A good while passes while the group occupy themselves.

*KT's secret section is hidden here...*

During his downtime, Will works on an idea about posting job advertisements. He spends some time writing down ideas about how to hire people to help save the world, hoping that if he can find the right person, he might not have to do it. He also sits down with Sheemie to help him with his reading.

Batthwack's on the roof of the RV, practicing with the flail. Rosco asks the others why they think Batthwack couldn't remember the picture of a burning Gully's End seen in the book. Will's theory is that he's been through a lot of god mind-manipulation and was probably just in denial. Rosco also points out that one of the mustard's in his mustard cabinet is specifically made with special healing herbs and ground up raspberry to help with motion sickness, useful on long journeys. Raphina tries some, and seeing that she doesn't die, Will begins to wonder about Rosco's abilities with plants and whether he might actually be some kind of druid. Rosco recommends Will take two spoonfuls, which he actually does have. It's good.

Raphina's getting bored, and asks Batthwack if she can work on his deck of cards, but he's not keen. She starts bothering Will, who's still trying to get on with his own business by himself, so he shouts up at Batthwack to give Raphina something to do. Down through the roof hole, Batthwack drops his fancy pen and a blank piece of card stock. She finds one of Batthwack's card designs, the three of hearts, stuck to the back. It depicts figures with shattered weapons and intricate reflections illustrated around the edge, with plants growing up and entwining everything together. Raphina asks if she can keep it, and Batthwack eventually acquiesces. She has a go at drawing her own version of it.

Having exhausted that activity, Raphina asks if she can drive the Rutabago. Rosco spends some time showing her the ropes. On the roof, Batthwack has turned his attention to the rod which the Aeonian Anglerfish had given him to revive Captain Clockface. He unpacks Clockface and his Desert Mother weed. Tilting Clockface's head back, he finds a hole at the top of his neck joint, which the road slides neatly into, disappearing all the way in. Captain Clockface immediately wakes up, and seems to be fully functional again, responding to questions and bowing when Batthwack says *"Welcome back!"*

As they trundle onwards, the forest is thinning out and beginning to give way to broad, rolling grassland. Will despairs at the endless nothingness out here in the middle of nowhere and wonders how long it's going to be before he eats fresh food again. Rosco estimates that they'll reach a crossroads before the day is out, and there might be some kind of rest stop there, though he can't really remember. He peers in the rear-view mirror (which has a magical zoom capability) to try and see what Will's doing, which is working on something with Sheemie. The boy later explains that Will's helping him with his reading.

The sky starts to cloud over a little, the weather beginning to change. Rosco reminds them not to worry about lightning; he's a bad luck lightning rod. Raphina and Sheemie briefly check on Batthwack on the roof and find him in a very relaxed state, having smoked some of the weed, sitting with Clockface. Raphina's overjoyed to be reunited with Clockface, who gives her a huge hug.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby. To try and distract the group from arguing as they motor along in the RV, Rosco says, *"Hey, listen, why don't we sing a road trip song?"* Raphina: *"YES! 1,000 mugs of twig tea on the wall, 1,000 mugs of twig tea!"* Rosco/Raphina together: *"Take one down, drink it all up, 999 hundred cups of twig tea on the wall."* Raphina: *"EVERYBODY!"* Mo: *"99 hundred mugs of twee on the wall! 99 mugs of teeeea!"*
* The "Mitt Romney Dog Incident": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitt\_Romney\_dog\_incident
* *Don't Roof Rack Me, Bro! (Seamus Unleashed)* by Devo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl2T\_dbOO8Y
* *"Shitter was full!"* from *National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation* (1989): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSqb4e8mUd4
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: squishable.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 284: Tusk Me In the Dick
2. ↑ Batthwack bought these in Morrow's Inlet. See episode 197: He's a Lot Nicer To Us When He's Pretending He's a Terrible Person
3. ↑ See episode 299: Like a Zen Rake