Margit Straub

**Margit Straub** (also known as **Hitler's Maid**) was a German-American maid and house cleaner turned politician and diplomat, whose career peaked when she served Adolf Hitler for 6 years.

## Early life

Margit was born and raised into a middle-class family in Berlin, Germany on 8 October, 1899. Her parents were both doctors. After completing a 6 year education, she was accepted into a prestigious university in Berlin's east. In 1915, she was expelled from the university after several incidents where she became violent for no apparent reason towards students, and sometimes, teachers.

## House cleaning career

With no doctorates or degrees like she had originally planned, she found work as a house cleaner and cleaned many houses around Germany and Belgium. She was called to France in 1932 to clean a noble Frenchman's house, and failed. In 1939, she caught the attention of Nazi political leader Adolf Hitler after she spilt 12 litres of vomit on the Prince of Spain's newly-laid carpets. She was hired to clean at Hitler's palace throughout World War II, and when Hitler died in 1945, she was entitled to the estate.

She lived peacefully in the Hitler Manor, and renamed it the Straub Manor in 1946. It took her a while to realise that Hitler wasn't considered a good name anymore in Germany. She was under a lot of pressure by police and the government to remove all evidence of her former employer's existence. In 1947, it was all cleaned up.

## Life in America and death

On 26 October, 1947, Straub moved to Chicago, United States of America. To avoid her getting in trouble with the law for her crimes in Germany, she legally changed her name to Hillary Diane Rodham. Nobody knows why she chose it. It just seemed to suit. She retried university and attended Wellesley College and Yale Law School. After her post-graduate studies, she met a man by the name of William Jefferson Clinton, known as Bill Clinton, a diplomat. She decided to follow his ways, and marry him. Luckily enough, Bill became president in 1993, making Straub first lady and giving her significant power over the president... in seductive ways.

## Physical description

Straub was a massive lady. Standing at 6'8" and weighing 249 kg, she was an actual monster. She had crooked teeth, and often strutted a bun with her dark blonde hair. Her brown eyes were almost always surrounded by popping red veins, and she had quite an impressively large pair of jugs. She had eyebrows that looked like toes. Despite her bulky and stocky build, she had quite small feet.

## Appearances in the books

Marget Straub appears only in 'The Adventures of Norman McFinger', and is referred to as 'Hitler's Maid'. She is called to deal with Paul MacGrory, a Scottish former-Nazi who has just assaulted Adolf Hitler. When she begins to eat Paul, the flashback ends.

> "[Paul] remembers punching Hitler in the face, but then Hitler licked his arms, and kicked his genitals. Hitler then called his maid to distract him.
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> Hitler’s maid had an atrocious appearance, and her toes seemed like they were hovering above her eyes. Now that Paul thought about it, he realised they were the maid’s eyebrows. She had really large intestines, and Paul knew this because the maid’s method of distraction was digestion. “Ich werde dich essen!” She shouted as she chomped on his head. “Ouch!” Paul screamed, since his head was being munched on."
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> - Excerpt from 'The Adventures of Norman McFinger' (page 4)
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