Major Major

High-ranking GFE Pilot

Major, Major "Major" Major is a high-ranking Lenusian pilot who works for the G.F.E. He is well known for being "That one fat guy in the fighter ship in the recruitment commercial," according to Senator Joe Tucker.

He has over 55,849 confirmed kills and is the only soldier to involuntarily commit friendly fire upon his fellow man without being at fault or even using a weapon other than the gravity accelerating his body toward the surface of the planet. The photo to the right is Major Major at a ripe young age or 52 back when he was at his record-lowest weight of 943 kilograms.

It is unusual for Major Major to be within a spacecraft for a period shorter than two weeks because it requires an estimated 2 fatalities every time he must be loaded into the cockpit with a special crane nicknamed the "McSpazmatron Widowmaker." On over 324 occasions, the cable used to load Major Major has snapped resulting in the death of at least one soldier.

A famous incident of this is known as "Major/11" in which he was being airlifted on a skyscraper over an extremely densely populated area on Grove Street during the New Year's celebration ceremony resulting in the death of 432 civillians. The famous Grove Crater created by this incident is still used as a monument to remembering the fallen still this day.

Major Major is pilot with the highest kill count of any known soldier in the Lenus-Jool System, second only to Cadet Burns with a respectable 1,289 confirmed kills. For this reason, the G.F.E.still considers him a "...Valuable, yet extremely risky asset to the operation of it..." according to Grand Imperial Executor Davin Hue.

He is one of the most well-respected pilots in the force, yet the most feared to enemy factions such as the P.C.L. For this reason, he is used to lure aspiring soldiers in various commercials and propogandas as an attractive young male who many would like to become one day. He also has the mascot of famous fast-food restaurant Space Tacobell, and has appeared in many advertisements for the enterprise.

## Early Life

Major Major's early life started with him being born to Bonnie Major and Duke Major in a Space Tacobell bathroom on the now-abandoned Space Station Kroatz in orbit of Lenus. Major Major had an unusually large birth-weight of 327 Kilograms; Bonnie Major states that "I was sitting on the toilet and I felt like a regulation-sized bowling ball was ejected out of my body with enough velocity to de-orbit the station."

In grade-school, he outperformed his class with a 6.2 GPA and had an IQ of 329 before the age of 20. He graduated 7 years early at the age of 16 and soon attended Hardon College For The Brilliant for another 12 years to receive his Super Ultra Mega Professionals degree in aeronautics and minored in culinary arts.

Like many other pilots, he took up raceslar driving at a young age competing in the Le Manes races from 6E 154 to 6E 179. His famous and highly-unconventianal Chaparral-Newbreak 2MAJOR that used hydrogen thrusters to generate downforce instead of the usual lift can be seen to the right .

## History

Major Major has a major role in Lenusian history being the first pilot whose mass is greater than that of his ship. G.F.E. scientists had to develop special xenon-powered ion thrusters so that his spacecrafts had enough Delta-V to reach orbit; these thrusters are now standard in almost all Lenusian spacecrafts for their efficiency and high power to weight ratios. He has served in almost every major battle in the First and Second Galactic Wars, and has more in-ship experience than 95% of other pilots.

Contrary to popular belief, Major Major's ranking is actually a Major General and not Major, but on paper and over comms he goes by Major Major because he doesn't like to be called "Major General Major." Due to this, he has the same power and payrate of a Major General, but is more approachable to lower-ranking officers in the ranks.

The most famous of the battle's that he has served in was the Battle of Scathed Bellybutton during the First Galactic War in which he solely destroyed the previous P.C.L. mothership with one of his famous "Slobberknockers" which are specially-made ammo composed of earwax, fecal matter, mucus, and fermented semen which have a hardness that even rivals that of the super-metal admentium.

One of the many reasons why Major Major's kill count is so high compared to even the most skilled ace-pilots, is that he composes specially-made ammo out of his own bodily secretions that cause a complicated chemical reaction with the black steel that produces enough energy to destroy a neutron star. The G.F.E. on many occasions tried to attempt recreate this reaction, but it is unknown what compounds Major Major produces that cause such a violent reaction with the building material that enemy ships are composed of.

He now serves as a gunner with an upcoming younger pilot who has demonstrated great talent to Davin Hue and his squadron named Sergeant Timothy Sasha Mopar. Although Tim is less skilled than his gunner counterpart, the efficiency of this pair rivals any other squad in the galaxy. The only failed mission this famous pair has embarked on was a landing on the Lenusian moon, Cyra in which the ship entered the atmosphere faster than escape velocity at a prograde angle on the orders of Lance Corporal Speedy McQueen.

Throughout the span of the Second Galactic War, this pair has stuck with a modified D-4 Death Ship. The only time that Major Major and Tim hadn't used one was when they flew a D-420 Midget, which is a highly-experimental prototype which as a power-to-weight ratio of 69,911:1. A photo of the Midget can be seen to the right.