recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Geometry Dash

***Geometry Dash*** is a mobile game developed by Robert Topala and released in August 2013. The objective of the game is to navigate a small cube through a series of obstacles
 to reach the end of the level without crashing. The only control is
tapping, which makes the cube perform a small jump. As well as a cube,
the player can also change form into things such as a ship and a ball, each with unique mechanics. A Lite Version of the game is also available with fewer features.

## Levels

There are currently eighteen official levels in *Geometry Dash*. Completing levels offers the reward of stars, while three secret coins are also hidden within each level.

## Other features

Geometry Dash includes a number of features such as:

* A Practice Mode to learn the layout of levels.
* A Level Editor to create and share Custom Levels.
* Map Packs and level downloads.
* A progress Leaderboard.
* Achievements with a variety of rewards.
* An Icon Kit providing many customisation options.
* User Account functionality for secure data backup.
* Everyplay support.

## Trivia

* The original name of the beta of *Geometry Dash* was 'Geometry Jump'.
* *Geometry Dash* shares many similar elements with *The Impossible Game*, a game with the same style of gameplay.
* A Steam version of *Geometry Dash* became available on December 22, 2014.

## Update log (iOS)Edit

The following table contains the official update information provided
 by the iOS App Store, only omitting secondary information (such as
support notices). Select an update to read more about it.

## Leaderboard

The **Leaderboard** is a feature in *Geometry Dash* that was introduced in Update 1.3.
 This is designed to show your progress and statistics of the players
globally. The global ranking is determined by stars. The Leaderboard
cannot be accesed in the *Lite* version of the game.

## Demon Levels

*Main Article:* Geometry Dash-Demon Levels

In Geometry Dash, Demon levels are levels with an extreme difficulty.
Geometry Dash-Demon Levels

In Geometry Dash, a **Demon Level** is a level with the highest difficulty. It contains lots of difficult tricks and lots of difficult moves.

## Overview

As the name suggests, Demon levels have an extremely hard difficulty. They give you 9-15 stars, they can earn you numerous icons, and also earn you achievements. Examples of Demon Levels are The Nightmare, The Lightning Road, and Clubstep. However, some demon levels can be easy, and most do not have secret coins. There are over 10, 000 Demon Levels on the Geometry Dash server. In Geometry Dash, for example, 3xotic has over 600 demon levels slain.

## Easy Demon Levels?

*Main article:* Visit Page: **Geometry Dash-Top 10 Easiest Demon Levels**

As a demon level it may be unbeatable. However, for YC, he has 10 easy Demons. These are:

1.The Nightmare

2. The Lightning Road

3. Demon Mixed

4. Clubstep

5. yStep

6. Crescendo

7. Invisible Clubstep

8. Invisible Clubstep

9. Theory of Everything 2

10. Theory of Everything V2

### The Nightmare

Most of this is a ball. The cube sequences are easy. The ship sequences are very similar. However, Despite being a Demon Level, it is very easy and is not as long as Polargeist. Most or *ALMOST ALL* made-harder or exact copies of this are rated Normal to Insane.

### The Lightning Road

This is a Dark, cavelike Demon Level. It is not as easy as the Nightmare, however, but is easier than Clutterfunk. It finished with Timeless saying "Thank You". It flashes in the Darkness. Along with the Nightmare and yStep, they have no sawblades.

### Demon Mixed

It is about as easy as the Lightning Road, but it is a Demon level mix of Crescendo, The Nightmare, Demon Park, Clutterfunk v2, Sky Realm, Cycles, xStep, and finally, Guessing Game.

### Clubstep

This is the first Demon level Robert Topala made. It is the first demon level with monsters or demons, and the Backgtound color changes unexpectedly.

### yStep

This is Darnoc703's first created demon level. It contains many Jump rings and pads that must be avoided०.

### Crescendo

It is YC's sixth demon level completed. Like yStep, it contains killer jump rings and pads. By YC, Crescendo and two invisible Clubsteps were completed in one day.

### The Two Invisible Clubsteps

One is made by Player, one by Cyclic. It is exactly like clubstep, but in Cyclic's, the flat spikes are visible. YC completed Player's first.

### TOE 2

It is the last 1.9 level made by RobTop. It rewards, like Clubstep, 14 Stars. It contains very many 3D Structures.

### Theory of Every v2

This is not to be confused with TOE 2. It is a remake version of RobTop's Level, Theory of Everything. It is YC's Tenth easiest Demon Level.

## Video

(It is not based on YC's, it is based on Xenticist's)

## References

1. http://www.geometry-dash.wikia.com/wiki/Clubstep
2. http://www.geometry-dash.wikia.com/wiki/Theory\_of\_Everything\_2
3. http://www.geometry-dash.wikia.com/wiki/Deadlocked
Dec 2nd, 2015

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • **Dec 2nd, 2015**
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Memeulous

**Big** **Lad Memeulous** **Eskitit Skrt Please Subscribe** (also known as **“Big Lad Memeulous,” “Memeulous,”** and **“George”**) is an expert sket-baiter and certified shit talker from the UK. His favorite pastimes include bullying rappers and playing online games with his mate Joshy. He is most famous for his participation in the YC99 Wars, especially for his campaign to burn down YCland.

## Trivia

* His mum is not gay.
* He is the leader of Team 💯.
* He has had children send for him multiple times.
* His skills include chatting shit online and getting messages from Senior Couples Meet.
* He enjoys blue milk.
* His rapping alias is “Lil Skrr.”
* He is not from Kent.
* His body count is 1, that one person is his Club Penguin Account.
* He is the biggest boy.
* He gets girls on Animal Jam.
* He is the ghost from the 4th grade bathroom.
* He owns a yacht that he rides with Steve Buschemi.
* He has a pet named Crusty Hamster.
* He was once called a normie because he didn’t have fades, he responded by shanking him under a bridge.
* He is a casual aquaintances with Tony Stark and Sheev Palpatine.
* JT once called him Big Daddy.
Advert Timings

Many of the adverts are published at common times of year.

### Pre-Mayday

Particularly complicated Mayday adverts often have a smaller advert posted beforehand, usually in the March or April. For example, see Apr 2nd, 2008 and May 1st, 2008. The Pre-Mayday adverts are the least predictably published.

#### Mayday

Seemingly the main focus of the mystery. Published on May 1st, or the last weekday before that date if May 1st is a weekend. The Mayday adverts usually take up the whole page and are the most complex adverts. They are the most predictably published, only missing two years. They seem to be often used to arrange the celebration of an anniversary of the Confessio Augustana.

#### Winter

Typically posted on the first Wednesday in December, and used to arrange the Winter Tour. Usually smaller and less exciting than the Mayday adverts.

#### Unscheduled

These adverts are occasionally posted throughout the year, and are marked as unscheduled.
Capt. Morgan

## Appearances

**Section Complete**

*This section is deemed complete.*

* May 1st, 1987
* Feb 22nd, 1988
* Apr 4th, 1988
* Nov 30th, 1988
* Feb 8th, 1989
* Sep 27th, 1989
* Dec 6th, 1989
* May 1st, 1990
* Oct 24th, 1990
* May 1st, 1991
* May 1st, 1993
* Dec 1st, 1993
* May 1st, 1995
* May 1st, 1997
* May 1st, 2000
* Sep 20th, 2000
* May 1st, 2004
* Apr 29th, 2005
Jan 17th, 2001

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 **Jan 17th, 2001** • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Sep 5th, 1990

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • **Sep 5th, 1990**
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
John Winthrop

## Appearances

**Article Incomplete**

*This article is not yet completed, information may be missing.*

* Apr 8th, 1987
* Sep 14th, 1987
* Jan 20th, 1988 (As John W.)
* Apr 4th, 1988
* Nov 30th, 1988
* Feb 8th, 1989
* Mar 8th, 1989
* May 1st, 1989
* Sep 27th, 1989
* Dec 6th, 1989
* Mar 21st, 1990
* *May 1st, 1990* [????]
* Sep 5th, 1990
* Dec 5th, 1990
* May 1st, 1991
* May 1st, 1993
* Dec 1st, 1993
* May 1st, 1995
* Dec 6th, 1995
* Dec 4th, 1996
* May 1st, 1997
Sep 26th, 2002

The Sep 26th 2002 advert was a very small one, and apparently unscheduled.

The advert is surrounded by a border of five-pointed stars. The text reads:

SR/CL: Leitmotiv: "Opsaal!"

(Unscheduled) f

The Midget Tag Team sends fraternal greetings to The Asylum Choir from 39.7459N, 104.9736W. The truck load of turkeys from Grandpa's Farm is en route.

Orate pro nobis

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • **Sep 26th, 2002**
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Sep 1st, 1992

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • **Sep 1st, 1992** • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
May 1st, 2015

The May 1st, 2015 advert is fairly small and longer than it is wide.

It features a leitmotiv of a quotation by Sophocles, a quotation from Lenin as well as the usual Smiley Guy.

It refers to the dates 5/1/69, for which there is no known advert, and 5/1/91 which apparently refers to the May 1st, 1991 advert.

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • **May 1st, 2015** • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Thot Patrol

The Thot Patrol is a group of mercenaries that hunt down thots around the globe. They were established in 2027, and the worldwide rate of thots has been historically low since.

## Members of the Thot Patrol

1. Ryan
2. Darth Ruin
3. Giddeon
4. Micheal
5. Lil Pump
6. Jon Arbuckle
7. D4NNY
8. Lunchbox Luke
9. Jacob
10. Lil Puro
11. Ian
12. JP
13. Obi-Wan Kenobi
14. Elon Musk
15. Sheev Palpatine
16. Boss Nass
17. The National Junior Honors Society
Dec 6th, 1989

## Transcript

**SR/CL:**

P

{
x
−
μ
≥
ε
}
≤

σ
2

/

ε
2

{\displaystyle \mathrm{P}\lbrace \vert x - \mu \vert \geq \varepsilon \rbrace \leq \sigma^2 / \varepsilon^2}

[Image of an unknown diagram]

1) "Die Wahrheit ist das Ganze."—Hegel

★

2) "Fools are in great demand, especially for social occasions."

★

3) Albrecht has authorized limited drawing rights on the Rhinegold, re: the Winter Tour.

★

37.45°N.122.27°W.:Melanchthon

42.15°N.71.70°W.:Winthrop

★

33.55°S.18.22°E.:M. Flacius(I.)

51.53°N.12.40°E.:Mistah Kurtz

★

46.13°N.6.11°E.:Capt. Morgan

26.12°S.28.50°E.:Schrödinger

★

32.47°N.96.48°W.:Owsley

[Smiley Guy]

τὰ μὴ ὄντα, ἵνα τὰ ὄντα καταργήσῃ

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • **Dec 6th, 1989** • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Senator Armstrong

"Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as

```
in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're
too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! 😤😤😂

```

His
 joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took him a total of like 3
minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? His joke is bad? I
think that's just because you failed. He outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭
May 1st, 1993

Appearances from:

* Matthias Flacius Illyricus
* Owsley
* Winthrop
* Gerhard
* Farragut
* Schrodinger
* Thomas Bradwardine
* Kitchener Pasha
* Martin Chemnitz
* Capt. Morgan
* Melanchthon
* Albrecht
* Mistah Kurtz
* Latimer & Ridley

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 **May 1st, 1993** • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Jun 25th, 2014

June 25th 2014 is also the 484th anniversary of the Confessio Augustana.

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • **Jun 25th, 2014** • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
May 1st, 2011

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • **May 1st, 2011** • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Aug 4th, 2004

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • **Aug 4th, 2004**
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Apr 29th, 2016

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • **Apr 29th, 2016** • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Dec 5th, 1990

* Henry Ireton
* Paul Morphy
* Alexander Alekhine
* Martin Chemnitz
* Johann Gerhard
* Alberich
* Fabius Cunctator
* Kurt Gödel
* Matthias Flacius
* Philip Melanchthon
* John Winthrop
* Owsley
* Olof Petersson
* David Farragut
* Mistah Kurtz
* Erwin Schrödinger
* Kitchener Pasha

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • **Dec 5th, 1990** • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Ryan

Ryan does not live in Kent. He’s frickin stupid, flip.

## Trivia

* He could probably beat Antonio in a fight, but he’s also like a Book because he’s easily read.
* He does not run a meme page.
* He has over 0 followers on Snapchat.
* His hair is a sacred artifact, thought to be destroyed long ago. It holds infinite power.
* He is a member of the Thot Patrol, which is like Paw Patrol but better.
* He is upgrading his goblins. He is now level 10.
* He has a sister, who does not take kindly to ICUP jokes.
* He has spoken with Sheev many times. He now has a high ranking in the Galactic Senate.
* He has a Runescape account.
* He plays League of Legends.
* He has a body count of 16 quadrillion, and all of them are Antonio.
* His mum may or may not be from Kent.
* He is a graduate of Chop Kick Onion’s karate studio.
Dec 3rd, 2003

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • **Dec 3rd, 2003** • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Five Races

The Five Races are the five intelligent creatures who occupy the Four Realms.

Wizards

 Wizards are one of the Five Races, and are powerful beings with a natural control of magic. Wizards are characterized with tell-tail violet eyes and are generally regarded as less emotional and more logical than any of the other races.

Humans

Humans are one of the Five Races and are among the most populous breeding at a higher rate than the others. they also have a penchant for creating weaponry and the arts.

Elves

Elves are one of the Five Races and are characterized by having pointy ears and being somewhat shorter than humans. They are divided racially and socially into three categories Sunrise Elves, Sunset Elves, and Low Elves. Elf society is broken into very clear parts with male and female gender roles strongly cemented in their culture. Furthermore Low Elves are directly placed underneath the rest of Elfkind.

Morphs

Morphs are one of the Five Races and they posses the ability to change from a humanoid appearance to an animal form. While in animal form they retain their intelligence and acquire the skills and abilities of the animal. While at one time Morphs are said to have been able to turn into any animal modern Morphs are limited to Bears, Wolves, and Eagles.

Gnomes

Gnomes are one of the Five Races and are on the verge of extinction as there are only nine members of their species left and all of them are male. As a species they are much smaller than the other races and speak in a language that is not well understood. Their existence is not well known and most beings believe them to be myths. The live with the Historian beneath a lake, and therefore do not have a native land hence there are only Four Realms.
Nov 22nd, 1983

## Transcript

### SR/CL

Implementation of **“Viam Inveniemus Aut Faciemus”**: (Third in current series, final transmission for '83. '84 transmissions as per coordinates sqq.) Nota Bene: Adjust for Greenwich Mean minus one.

**I. 1984 Coordinates:** 6.20 North, 9.13 West.

**II. Operational Area Implementation (Themistocles):**

πόλιν δὲ μικρὰν καὶ ἄδοξον

παραλαβὼν ἔνδοξον

καὶ μεγάλην ἀπεργάσασθαι

**III. End Result:** From 30.03 N., 31.15 E. To 33.56 S., 18.28 E.

**IV. Schedule:** “a time, two times, and half a time”

לְמוֹעֵד מוֹעֲדִים וָחֵצִי

**V. Staging Area:** 40.40 N., 73.50W. (fourseventyfive)

**VI. Weltanschauung:** Cromwell's address to Parliament, July 4, 1653

**VII. Operational Area Paradigm:** Gordon Pasha, Revised

**VIII. Sedes Doctrinae:**

οὐ γὰρ ἐν λόγω ἡ βασιλεία

τοῦ θεοῦ, ἀλλ’ ἐν δυνάμει.

**IX. Incept:** 2/1/84, D.V.

[Smiley Guy]

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 **Nov 22nd, 1983** • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Apr 19th, 1983

## Transcript

SR/CL

“VIAM INVENIEMUS AUT FACIEMUS”

— HANNIBAL

[Smiley Guy]

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • **Apr 19th, 1983** • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Leitmotiv

Short recurring musical phrase. From German for 'guiding motif'. It is suggested it gives the theme of the advert.

The first advert to feature a Leitmotiv was May 1st, 1986, whose leitmotiv was a quote from Dante. Subsequently, the vast majority of adverts have featured them, although some have not: for more information, see adverts without leitmotivs.

Some of the leitmotivs are altered slightly from how they appear in the source.

## Leitmotivs by Advert

**Article Incomplete**

*This article is not yet completed, information may be missing.*

* The following table gives the leitmotivs of all known adverts:
Dec 1st, 2010

## Characters

* The Midget Tag Team
* The Asylum Choir
* The Little Orphan Children
* Mistah Kurtz
* Jenny Geddes
* Peggy Dow
* Richard Baxter

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • May 1st, 1985 • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • **Dec 1st, 2010** • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
May 1st, 1985

## Transcript

SR/CL

毛一

May Day, 1985

Re: the coordinates: As Cromwell reputedly said upon seeing the head of Charles I: “Cruel necessity”

Coordinates (0,1): 10100111111111001

אֵין שׁלוֹם לְכָל-בָּשָׂר

[Smiley Guy]

**Adverts**
May 1st, 1981 • Aug 24th, 1981 • May 1st, 1982 • Apr 19th, 1983 • Apr 29th, 1983 • Nov 1st, 1983
 Nov 22nd, 1983 • May 1st, 1984 • Sep 13th, 1984 • Mar 15th, 1985 • **May 1st, 1985** • May 1st, 1986
 Apr 8th, 1987 • May 1st, 1987 • Sep 14th, 1987 • Jan 20th, 1988 • Feb 2nd, 1988 • Feb 22nd, 1988
 Apr 4th, 1988 • Apr 27th, 1988 • Sep 28th, 1988 • Nov 30th, 1988 • Feb 8th, 1989 • Mar 8th, 1989
 May 1st, 1989 • Sep 27th, 1989 • Dec 6th, 1989 • Mar 21st, 1990 • May 1st, 1990 • Sep 5th, 1990
 Oct 24th, 1990 • Dec 5th, 1990 • Jan 16th, 1991 • Mar 20th, 1991 • May 1st, 1991 • Aug 28th, 1991
 Dec 4th, 1991 • Jan 22nd, 1992 • May 1st, 1992 • Sep 1st, 1992 • Dec 1st, 1992 • Mar 10th, 1993
 May 1st, 1993 • Dec 1st, 1993 • May 1st, 1994 • Dec 7th, 1994 • May 1st, 1995 • Dec 6th, 1995
 May 1st, 1996 • Dec 4th, 1996 • May 1st, 1997 • Dec 3rd, 1997 • May 1st, 1998 • Dec 2nd, 1998
 Apr 29th, 1999 • Dec 1st, 1999 • May 1st, 2000 • Sep 20th, 2000 • Oct 10th, 2000 • Dec 6th, 2000
 Jan 17th, 2001 • Apr 4th, 2001 • May 1st, 2001 • Dec 5th, 2001 • May 1st, 2002 • Sep 26th, 2002
 Dec 4th, 2002 • May 1st, 2003 • Dec 3rd, 2003 • May 1st, 2004 • Jun 16th, 2004 • Aug 4th, 2004
 Dec 1st, 2004 • Feb 9th, 2005 • Apr 29th, 2005 • Jun 22nd, 2005 • Dec 7th, 2005 • May 1st, 2006
 Dec 6th, 2006 • May 1st, 2007 • Dec 5th, 2007 • Apr 2nd, 2008 • May 1st, 2008 • Dec 10th, 2008
 Dec 9th, 2009 • Mar 26th, 2010 • Apr 30th, 2010 • Dec 1st, 2010 • May 1st, 2011 • Dec 7th, 2011
 May 1st, 2012 • Jun 19th, 2013 • May 1st, 2014 • Jun 25th, 2014 • May 1st, 2015 • Dec 2nd, 2015
 Mar 23rd, 2016 • Apr 29th, 2016 • Dec 7th, 2016 • May 1st, 2017
Chi no Juin

The **Cursed Seal of Earth** is one of the strongest ofOrochimaru's cursed seals, the other being its counterpart: the Cursed Seal of Heaven.

## Appearance Edit

It consists of three slightly curved lines, which spread in a rip-like pattern. The seal is located of the upper portion of Kimimaro's chest over his manubrium. When the first level is activated, the seal turns orange-red and expands in lines spreading all over Kimimaro's body in contorting and parallel lines. When the second level of the seal is active, Kimimaro takes on a dinosaur-like appearance complete with a tail. Several large bones also protrude from his darkened skin and gains four distinguishing figures: two dark black curved like markings under his eyes - one under each eye and two as elongated eyebrows - one above each eye.

## Usage Edit

This cursed seal is particularly strong even amongst the other already powerful cursed seals with Kimimaro being the only known user and with the Cursed Seal of Heaven standing as its only equal. Like all cursed seals, Kimimaro receives increased chakra levels, physical capabilities and his ninjutsu skills become more effective when the seal is active.
May 1st, 1997

The main aspect of this advert seems to be a large graph with two diagonal lines which intersect at the origin of two axes, marked Kairos and Chronos respectively.

It seems worth noting that if the graph was rotated about the vertical 'Kairos' axis, a diagram similar to this one would be produced. The diagram in the advert is also marked as 'Light Cone'.

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