Roguehoppers Holiday Special

**Thanks for joining us for the super special crossover holiday special. Happy Life Day to you and yours!**

## The Night Before Life Day

***Written by Ash, Performed by the full cast***

* Parody of A Visit from St. Nicholas by known famed slave-owner and anti-abolitionist Clement Clarke Moore.

## Host Intros

***Written by Meg***

Rogue Podron: Meg, Heath, Saf, Ash, Danny

The Skyhoppers: Ben, Dakota, Eva, Cole

* If they were a Type of Cookie

## Questions

***Featuring the whole cast***

**What is your favorite Star Wars gift?**

* **Dakota**: The Star Wars DVDs
* **Saf**: BB-9E Toy
* **Byn**: Resistance Reborn (honorable mention to the weird drawing from his EX)
* **Eva**: Aurebesh Hope Tattoo
* **Ash**: The Phantom Menace Picture book
* **Danny**: LEGO Podracing set
* **Cole**: LEGO AT-AT
* **Heath**: Star Wars Viewing Party (honorable mention to a Constable Zuvio short story collection)
* **Meg**: GAVE an embroidery of Enfys Nest's helmet to Dinner Leader

**What are your December Star Wars movie premiere memories?**

* **Ash**: Hearing "General Syndulla" in Rogue One (honorable mention to Byn's text messages)
* **Danny**: Physical Reactions to TROS
* **Saf**: Getting a character named after them (honorable mention to holding hands)
* **Eva**: TLJ, because it was her last movie before being part of the twitter fandom.
* **Dakota**: Accidentally seeing Solo with their grandparents (honorable mention to Byn's ex-girlfriend)
* **Cole**: Flying to California to watch TROS and trying to explain it to his friend who fell asleep.
* **Heath**:  ???
* **Byn**: Hugging his friend after TLJ
* **Meg**: The whole day TFA was released. (honorable mention to Wedge showing up in TROS)

**Trivia:**

* Gran are colonizers
* Ben Quadinaros is 1.3 meters tall (5'4" feet aka Meg and Eva height)
* Solo was a December movie premier in the southern hemisphere because their seasons are reversed.
* Ben is one of Saf's favorite names in general.

## Well, This is Awkward

***Written by Saf, Featuring Dakota, Saf, Ash, and Ben***

* Moff Mothma
* Dash Rendar is always here.
* Han got his sensitive bone from the bone market
* .

## Life Day Traditions part 1

***Featuring Meg, Heath, and Cole. Piano accompaniment by Danny.***

* Dexter Jettster has a pre-fixed menu at his diner on life day, a particularly fancy dinner.
* Dexter may or may not charge credits for the meal.
* Dexter may or may not use real Jawas in his Jawa juice.
* Thrawn spends Life Day studying the decorations of different cultures across the galaxy but doesn't celebrate anything
* Pellaeon gets him a gift though
* Thrawn has a Chissmas tree and it is BLUE.
* Ackbar makes his signature eggnog.
* Borsk Fey'lya once got so drunk on Ackbar's eggnog that he shaved himself.
* Kit Fisto wears jingle bell Santa hats for each head tendril.
* Zuvio does a big "don't Drink and Drive" campaign every Life Day Season.
* The Fish Husbands come back on Life Day for the biggest Bone Market Ball of the year.
* Hondo the Pooh throws a huge party every year with a big gift exchange, but after everyone gets drunk he steals all the gifts.
* Frog Family has a nice dinner where all the neighbors without family are invited.

## Once Upon a Life Day

***Written and performed by Dakota***

* Based on Once Upon a Christmastime by Dona M. Maroney (who probably didn't own slaves but doesn't have her own wiki page)
* Shoutout to Grogu's teeth!

## Good King Grakchawwaa

***Written by Heath, Performed by Meg and Danny***

* 47:11 Meg's Palpatine impression

## Life Day Traditions part 2

***Featuring, Ben, Dakota, and Danny. Piano accompaniment by Danny***

* The Jedi stack wreaths on Yarael Poof's neck.
* Yarael Poof keeps mistletoe in his *'oft hidden second set of hands'* to sneak attack other Jedi with surprise kisses.
* Prince Xizor was visited by three ghosts (all of whom look like Leia at different ages) and learned nothing.
* Jacen Solo comes home to the big Skywalker/Solo family gathering, but he sneaks out to hang with the reindeer outside.
* The Purrgil fly over inhabited planets to create auroras and on Life Day itself they fly over Coruscant.
* Doctor Aphra PRETENDS to not like Lifeday but she secretly dresses up and gives people presents.
* She also dresses up the murder droids and Vader in festive hats and accessories and is super nice to all of them the whole day. Vader and the droids allow this, but still kill all witnesses.
* Luke Skywalker spends the whole holiday making, drinking, and then making more hot chocolate no matter what else is happening.

## Time For Some Ocean Metaphors

***Written by Saf. Featuring Meg, Danny, Heath, and Saf***

* Background music is the legendary Mela Kalikimaka by electrical engineer and WW1 fighter pilot Robert A Alexander
* 54:42 Saf's Hohass voice.
* Wedge loves widows reference.
* If Wedge is just Meg, then does Dinner have a supposedly dead ex?

## Life Day Traditions part 3

***Featuring Eva, Ash, and Saf. Piano accompaniment by Danny***

* Din Djarin *would* spend a lot of effort trying to give Grogu the perfect Life Day, but this year he's just going to sit on Nevarro, drink, and cry.
* Young Boba Fett would hang out with his dad chilling on a beach while his dad cooks up a sausage sizzle.
* Anakin sits by the fire levitating fruit around while Padme is in the kitchen cooking a FULL Life Day Dinner.
* Jyn Erso would spend Life Day on Hoth with the rest of Rogue One's crew. But they're dead so...
* Nuvo Vindi spends his whole Life Day in the basement lab and doesn't even notice it's Life Day.
* Nute Gunray spends Life Day commiting tax fraud and racism.
* BB9-E puts on a tiny hat and plays verrrry quiet Life Day music.
* IG-11 would also be hanging out on the beach with Boba Fett, but he would be in a bikini.

## The One Below

***Written by Saf. Featuring Meg and Danny***

* 1:05:51 Meg Improvises

## Dark Empire Carol

***Written by Ben. Performed by Ben and Cole.***

* "He learned it from his dad!"
* ***"WHY'D THEY MAKE HIM HOT!?"***
* 1:08:13 Byn cracks summarizing Dark Empire II.

## No I'm Not Married

***Written by Saf. Featuring Meg, Cole, Dakota, Eva, and Ben.***

* Anakin I came out to have a good time but is feeling so attacked right now.
* Spmashed Topatoes.
* Obiwan "I'm sure you enjoy eating out at Padme's..."
* 1:10:20 The Sauciest Beep.
* Anakin can be forgiven for everything but genocide and not loving women correctly... he tries, but... no.

## New Year's Toasts

***Featuring the whole cast***

* To Roguepod, Criminal Minds, the Podralorian!
* To Din Djarin's Sexy Butt!
* To Bare Naked Ladies!
* To Ree-Yees and everyone on the podcast!
* To self loathing!
* To Roguepod, Skyhoppers, not always being ons Star Wars twitter, dad-loving kiwi-talking Boba Fett!
* To Star Wars!
* To the Listeners!
* To Roguepod!
* To Skyhoppers, the stupid puppets and aliens and lizards of Star Wars, and respecting Nute Gunray!
* To health and still being here!
* To TEDDY and his timeline cleansing power!
* To saving the best background music for last!

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