recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Ivy

## *a stranger in the darkness*

### Introduction.

This fellow is a replacement of Cath for certain good reasons, it is a cyan, 6'ish tall, cyan eyes, with a purple scarf and a fox.

She stays at Cath's Cove with the name changed to Ivy's Hole, Near the office. (Character Development TBA!)

AWaJ 2 etc, is still WIP though. i am busy atm.

## Trivia and FunFact Corner!

-Ivy was originally intended to have a right eyepatch but that was changed to a left bandage instead.

-the purple scarf was somewhat based on Neon Scarf from ROBLOX.

-Ivy name is based on a flower lol.

Further more information will be here soon.
Satan

## Known History

Satan is the Lord of Hell and is suspected to be a member of the puppet species. Satan bares a striking resemblance to a bald version of the professor, with the only difference to being his red skin and horns. He is also the only puppet to never officially appear on the Watcher Stage.

## Possible Accomplices

* The Devil's Stagehand (A.K.A.: Shane's Hand)
* Death
* Genie (As stated when the professor says he "made a deal with the Devil")

## Appearance

* Red Skin
* Red Eyes
* Red Horns
* Red Cape
* Slick-backed Black hair
* Black Suit
* White Undershirt

## Trivia

* The Satan puppet is a real puppet that can be bought from sillypuppets.com

* The only puppet to never officially appear onstage
* Only puppet to never have any voice lines
* Introduced in Season 3
Diamond Necklace

**Diamond Necklace** is a character and musical guest in *Puppet History*. He is a puppet created and played by Shane Madej. He makes his first appearance in the season one episode "Stealing The World's Most Expensive Necklace."

The Diamond Necklace hates Marie Antoinette, and enjoys mocking her for 'losing for head' during the Reign of Terror. He returns as a side character in "The Story of St. Nicholas" with a brand new song where he sings about buying someone a bunch of stuff and using every single penny he has for that said person.

## Songs

### "Pricy Ice" ("Stealing The World's Most Expensive Necklace")

Well, I'm that pricy ice

Oh but I'd look so nice around that neck

Marie Antoinette, she didn't want me

She told me to my face that I was ugly

But I guess in the end I got the upper hand

Because they didn't cut my head off (didn't cut my head off)

And, sure, they hacked me into tiny pieces

A devastating thing for all my nieces

And, yes, necklaces can have nieces

When they're anthropomorphic (when they're anthropomorphic)

I was just a pile of jewels

Made Rohan look like a fool

But a fella should know better

Than to trust a simple letter

So I guess if there's a lesson

To this whole back-stabbin' mess then

It's that if you think you know the queen

To make sure that you know the queen!

Like, has she ever talked to you

Or looked at you

Or smiled at you

Or even seemed to think of you

Or met you in the daytime?

Maybe ask her for her license (at midnight)

Or to pose with today's paper

And if she doesn't want to

Then, my dude, I think it ain't her

### "Love On A Shelf" ("The Story of St. Nicholas")

This Christmas

You wanna get 'em

Somethin' sweet & sentimental

Aren't you precious and so thoughtful

Oh so very nice!

But lemme pitch you this

Instead of worthless shit

Maybe take the hit,

And dip into those savings

For a little something pricy

Gucci, Rolex, Tiffany

A rare illegal foreign cheese

I'll buy you shit that'll make you scream

Make your real life feel like a holiday dream

You want a yacht? Okay, why not?

A taxidermied ocelot?

Armani, Prada and Dior

Anything you want, wrap it up, it's yours

This Christmas

Gonna spend every dime

Because the finest gifts

Are the ones you find on a shelf.

This Christmas

Ain't wastin' my time

Tryin' to read your mind

And make you something myself

This Christmas!

(Gucci, Rolex, Tiffany

A rare illegal foreign cheese

I’ll buy you shit that’ll make you scream

Make your real life feel like a holiday dream)

This Christmas!
ОБНОВЛЕНИЕ 0.775

Сегодня пятница, а это значит, что исправления ждут! В этом обновлении я сосредоточился только на фиксации, окончательный список довольно большой. Исправления самые разные - от серьезных, таких как скользящие волки, до веселых, когда поселенцы выходят замуж. Как обычно — полный список можно найти ниже.

БОЛЬШОЕ спасибо всем игрокам, которые участвуют в сообщении об ошибках (f11 в игре) — ваша помощь драгоценна, друзья! На сегодня все! Приятной игры и выходных!

#### **ИСПРАВЛЕНИЯ**

* Исправлена ​​проблема, когда изображение игрока иногда становилась невидимой в инвентаре;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой иногда возникала ошибка камеры при езде на лошади;
* Исправлена ​​проблема, когда камера оставалась активной в окне подтверждения постройки;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой камера при выходе в главное меню с борта корабля становилась глючной;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой камера иногда не могла сфокусироваться на поселенце при включенном диалоге;
* Исправлена ​​проблема, когда поселенец мог выбрать себя в качестве пары;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой у игрока брались ресурсы при строительстве слишком больших стен, даже если стена не была построена;
* Заменена марширующая анимация;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой эффекты пружины камеры игрока иногда не работали правильно после загрузки;
* Исправлено положение меча в руках поселенцев;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой модель меча проходила сквозь шею поселенцев во время анимации марша;
* Исправлена ​​проблема, когда во время марша поселенца было видно 2 меча;
* Исправлена ​​некорректная скорость анимации бега поселенцев;
* Текстура осадного огня с низким разрешением заменена на текстуры с высоким разрешением;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой поселенец мог входить и выходить из строения сразу без воспроизведения анимации внутри;
* Исправлена ​​ошибка, из-за которой вращение волка было некорректным;
* Баланс поселенцев и экономики: теперь цветы будут продаваться в магазинах, а не в тавернах — так их будут покупать поселенцы (в тавернах они ищут только еду).

#### **ЛОКАЛИЗАЦИЯ**

* Обновлен русский перевод;
* Исправлены некоторые грамматические ошибки в английском тексте.
Бандиты

Игрок может встретить бандита, путешествуя по карте.

Бандит начнёт диалог с игроком и потребует его вывернуть свои карманцы.

Игрок может:

* Отдать бандиту золото
* Отказаться [после чего начнется бой]
* Начать бой
* Или вступить в банду [Если прокачен навык бандитизма]

## Бандитское логово

Бандитские логова появляются на карте и развиваются постепенно

Игрок может уничтожить его навсегда и получить славу и репутацию.

Чтобы уничтожить логово, вы должны убить всех бандитов внутри, оборудовать факел и использовать кнопку X (по умолчанию), чтобы сжечь логово.

После того, как разрушенное логово исчезнет с карты раз и навсегда, можно найти место для создания поселения или фермы, если это необходимо.

```

```
Isaac Newton's Nemesis

"**Isaac Newton's Nemesis**" is the fifth episode of season two, and the ninth episode total of *Puppet History*.

## Plot

The Professor teaches his class about Isaac Newton's greatest nemesis.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / The Clipped Coin
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Keith Habersberger as himself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *What was the problem?*
	+ **A. They didn't take the old coins out of circulation.**
	+ B. It was easy to make your own coining machine.
	+ C. Only silver coins were machined. Gold and copper coins were still minted by hand.

* *Who was the warden of the royal mint?*
	+ A. The real-life inspiration for Sherlock Holmes.
	+ **B. Arguably the smartest man to ever live.**
	+ C. A genie that will stop at nothing to make my life a living hell even though I followed his silly rules to the letter and I don't owe him anything.

* *For a History Point, name one of the Laws of Motion.*
	+ Ryan: Inertia.
	+ Keith: Well, I know there's one that's like an object in motion will stay in motion unless it hits something, right?
	+ **Answer: The Professor considers Keith's answer passable.**

* *What was the oath?*
	+ A. To preserve the integrity of his majesty's currency even at the expense of his life.
	+ B. To pursue counterfeiters against his majesty to the ends of the Earth.
	+ **C. To never show anyone the special little coin machine.**

* *What happened when Newton tested Chaloner's suggestions?*
	+ A. The result was a coin so difficult to reproduce, it's still used as the standard today.
	+ B. The suggested adjustments caused the edging machine to squirt ink into Newton's face.
	+ **C. Um... The methods were bullshit.**

* *How did Chaloner attempt to skeeve his way out of this one?*
	+ Ryan: Escape & run away
	+ Keith: Accused him of more bullshit
	+ **Answer: He actually feigned madness**

## Musical Guest

The Clipped Coin sings about how counterfeiters have clipped away his identity and made him into the husk of a silver coin he once was. Now grown old, he regrets living for the amount of time he has, only wanting one thing; to be ground away into dust, and blown far off into the distance, never to be heard again.

## Winner

Keith Habersberger takes home the win. Ryan Bergara takes it like a champ, for once.
Ching Shih: The Pirate Queen

"**Ching Shih: The Pirate Queen**" is the fifth episode of season three, and the eighteenth episode total of *Puppet History*.

## Plot

The Professor teaches about the pirate queen Ching Shih.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / The Flower Boat
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Joyce Louis-Jean as herself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *What was a flower boat?*
	+ **Essentially a floating saloon.**
* *What would your pirate name be?*
	+ **The Scourge (of The Sea)**
	+ **Captian Queef**
* *What did the Chinese government do?*
	+ **A. Offered Cheng I a job.**
	+ B. Issued history's first million dollar bounty for the heads of Ching Shih and Cheng I.
	+ C. Began constructing a second great wall along the coast.
* *Who did Ching Shih tap to take control of the Red Fleet?*
	+ A. The handsome leader of the Blue Squadron, "Jewel of The Whole Crew", who she took as a lover and a husband.
	+ B. The admirl of the Chinese imperial navy, who she took as a lover and a husband.
	+ **C. Her adopted son, who she took as a lover and a husband.**
* *At her pirate empire's peak, how many pirates were under Ching Shih's command?*
	+ **70,000 men**
* What did Ching Shih's pirates do?
	+ A. They took whatever implements they could find and started to row towards their enemies.
	+ B. They began to sing about what they were going to do to the general's men, causing their entire navy to desert on the spot.
	+ **C. They jumped into the ocean, swam to the other boats, and started a-murderin'.**
* *What was the sticking point in negotiations?*
	+ A. The government demanded Ching Shih return her "transhipped goods", including a vibrating crate stamped "Jewel of The Whole Pirate Crew's Loot! Keep All Genies Away Until At Least 2535 C.E."
	+ **B. The government demanded Ching Shih give up all her boats.**
	+ C. The government demanded her son Chang Pao's head.

## Musical Guest

The Flower Boat sings about missing Ching Shih.

## Winner

Joyce Louis-Jean wins. Ryan suspects he's been cheated out of the victory.
Обновление 0.425

## Update 0.425 [BUGFIXING]

*Теперь каждая пятница превращается в 'день исправления ошибок'!*

#### **Исправление ошибок**

* Исправлена ошибка, когда позиция игроков сохранялась неправильно, при сохранении в пещере более одного раза;
* Случайно попав под рельеф местности в пещере или снаружи вы больше не телепортируете игрока за пределы карты;
* Ширина кожи контроллера персонажа была немного изменена, чтобы предотвратить попадание игрока под рельеф местности;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда вращение искусственного интеллекта не было рассчитано должным образом при выполнении различных анимаций;
* Русский перевод был обновлен;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда предметы оставались видимыми в руках игроков после сохранения / загрузки;
* Исправлено всплывающее сообщение при обнаружении железных банков;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда игрок мог строить без необходимых ресурсов в инвентаре;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда искусственный интеллект использовал неправильную анимацию при борьбе с двуручными мечами;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда ИИ стоял неподвижно после сохранения/загрузки;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда интерьер в некоторых домах иногда пропадал без вести;
* Исправлена проблема, когда искусственный интеллект мог упасть под землю, не имея возможности выбраться;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда некоторые ИИ застревали на берегу сразу после высадки с корабля;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда модель искусственного интеллекта мигала при спавне в океане;
* Сетка поиска путей была немного подправлена, чтобы исправить ошибку, когда ИИ переставал двигаться после строительства стены;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда фермеры с искусственным интеллектом не строили сады и мельницы на своих фермах;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда экран мог потемнеть после создания населенного мира;
* Исправлена проблема, когда ИИ мог застрять после боя;
Steven Lim

**Steven Lim** is a contestant and guest star on *Puppet History*. He is best known for being an internet personality who started out working at Buzzfeed, and would later found Watcher Entertainment with Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara. Steven has created many hit internet series, and works on the technical side of Watcher Weekly's videos.

## Episode Appearances

Steven has only made one episode appearance so far, where he won.
Jess

or known as Kate.

## *Introduction!*

Info currently is under revision, Stay tuned.

## *Story.*

Currently unknown where this child came from or its origin but they were friends of childrens related to ??? incident.

## *Relations.*

Related to The ??? incident, resulted in horrible tragedy for several families.

## *Status.*

Missing, no one knows their wherebouts and is currently on look out for them.
Joyce Louis-Jean

**Joyce Louis-Jean** is a contestant and guest star on *Puppet History*. She is best known for being a Buzzfeed Video producer and talent for internet videos. Joyce was first featured on the series *Ruined History*.

## Episode Appearances

Joyce has appeared twice on the show so far, and has won both episodes she was in.

### Season Two

* "The Grisly Journey Of The Donner Party"
Bye-Bye Brothers

The **Bye-Bye Brothers** are characters and musical guests in *Puppet History*. They are puppets created and portrayed by Shane Madej. They make their first appearance in the season three episode "The Affair of the Poisons."

In it, they sing about poisoning everyone who gets in their way. The song is a rap in the style of the Beastie Boys, complete with robotic sound effects similar to their single "Intergalactic" from the *Hello Nasty* album.

## Song

*(Since the song is sung in a duet, here are some things to help you sing along to the lyrics with a friend:*

* Normal text *means the square bottle is singing.*
* **Bold text** *means the triangular bottle is singing.*
* ***Italic bold text*** *means both bottles are singing.)*

### "Bye Bye Juice" ("The Affair of the Poisons")

***LIFE it rules***
But it also kinda ***sucks***
**But you wanna stick around**
**Because it's fun to do *stuff***

If only you could rid yourself
***Of all your enemies***

Well, have I got news for you, my friend
***It's simpler than it seems***

**Now you could talk it out**
**And be real *polite***
**Or you could slap 'em with a glove**
**Get in a *fancy fight***

But if you wanna keep proceedings
***Clean and fast***

I got a pitch

Ready for this? **(Uh huh)**
***POISON THEIR ASS!***

Take any recipe

Add a ***drop of me***

Round out your four-course meal

with a ***fatality***

Bottom's up!
***But UH-OH***
***Your time is too!***

When they take a little sip of my
***BYE BYE JUICE!***

***A toxic cocktail***
***An insidious blend***
***Gently stirred***

***Quickly served***

***For a premature end***

***Drop drop in the goblet***
***Then a couple drops more***
***They give it a swig***

***Tick tock bodies hittin' the floor***

***KNOCK KNOCK!***

**It's the landlord *lookin' for rent***

**And now that arsenic you bought**

**Seems like *money well spent***

***DROP DROP!***

Come on in!

**Grab a beer!**

**Help yourself :)**

**Good luck envictin' me when you're**

***BURNIN' IN HELL***

When your dentist tells you you eat

***TOO MANY SWEETS***

Or somebody at the movie's like

"I'm saving these seats."

**Anybody on the road**

**Who doesn't know to use their**

***BLINKER***

**Keep it up and get a taste**

**What I been keepin' in my**

***TINCTURE***

Well let's say you got a list

Of people makin' ya

***PISSED***

**Have 'em over for some drinks, say**

***SIERRA MIST***

***CLINK CLINK***

Raise a glass!

Here's to you, everyone!

**Just be sure to dig some graves**

***YOU'RE GONNA NEED 'EM SON!***

(Robotic Instrumental)

***A toxic cocktail***

***An insidious blend***

***Gently stirred,***

***Quickly served***

***For a premature end***

***So play nice***
***Be a pal***

***Refrain from showin' your ass***

***Or you just might be the next one***

***Sippin' your last***

***We're the Bye-Bye Brothers***

***And we came here to say,***

***If anybody asks,***

***You didn't see us here today***

***When it comes to petty murder***

***We are simply the best,***

***But there are several warrants out***

***For our arrest***
Shane Madej

Shane Madej is an actor and influencer best known for starring alongside Ryan Bergara in Buzzfeed Unsolved. He is the creative genius behind Puppet History, an internet gameshow series by Watcher Entertainment. He voices and controls most puppet and non-guest characters. Shane appears in every episode as the Professor, and is one of the only reoccurring character alongside Ryan Bergara.

## Episode Appearances

Shane plays the Professor in every episode. He also voices and controls every supporting character. Give this man an Oscar.
Policarpa: The Revolutionary Teen Spy

"**Policarpa: The Revolutionary Teen Spy**" is the seventh episode of season two, and the eleventh episode total of *Puppet History*.

## Plot

The Professor teaches Ryan and Curly about Policarpa, a teen spy.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / Policarpa's Spool
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Curly Velasquez as himself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *What happened in 1808 to nudge New Granada towards independence?*
	+ **A. Napoleon dethroned the king of Spain.**
	+ B. A massive volcano erupted in Albania.
	+ C. Portugal began marching on Madrid.
* *How did the juntas try to persuade the less-than-revolutionary?*
	+ A. They began a massive newspaper campaign.
	+ **B. They lied and told them the juntas were still in the name of King Ferdinand.**
	+ C. They rounded them up and shot them.
* *What did Policarpa do?*
	+ **A. Brought letters of recommendation.**
	+ B. Got herself arrested so she could meet other imprisoned rebels.
	+ C. Called out the biggest, baddest royalist and kicked her ass on the first day.
* *Besides being willing to board Policarpa, what did Andrea Ricaurte de Lozano do to contribute to the revolution?*
	+ A. Absolutely nothing.
	+ B. Built muskets in her basement.
	+ **C. Ran a spy ring out of her home.**
* *What did Napoleon do?*
	+ A. He sent the full force of the French Army to destroy the junta in Cadiz.
	+ B. He threatened to execute Ferdinand VII if the resistance didn't back off.
	+ **C. He released Ferdinand VII.**
* *What happened?*
	+ A. Policarpa's landlord, Andrea Ricaurte de Lozano, was arrested.
	+ **B. Policarpa's boyfriend, Alejo Sabarain, was arrested.**
	+ C. A magical genie meddled once again with history and turned Policarpa in and tried to pin the blame on a bespectacled puppet who at this point starting to suspect he may have made a deal with the Devil.
* *What happened at the play?*
	+ A. Spanish soldiers set the building on fire during intermission.
	+ B. The resistance force enlisted more than 600 new soldiers from existing playgoers.
	+ **C. The audience started a small riot to prevent Policarpa's execution.**

## Musical Guest

Policarpa's Spool appears on the stage. They hate the royalists in Spain, and they sing on how to gain independence with a junta, and highly insist on spying on the rich.

## Winner

Curly Velasquez, of course, wins the Coveted Cup of the History Master. The Professor teases Ryan, and Ryan responds with that he doesn't need to say anything.
How America's First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln

"**How America's First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln**" is the first episode of season two, and the fifth episode total of *Puppet History*.

## Plot

Ryan and Kate learn about America's first female detective, Kate Warne, and how she saved the life of the 16th American president, Abraham Lincoln. This episode is unique as it commences P.U. Online. Zany shenanigans ensue, and The Professor's rivalry with Ryan continues.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as the Professor / Abraham Lincoln's train
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Kate Peterman as herself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *How did Kate Warne try to convince Allan Pinkerton to give her a job as a detective?*
	+ A. She told him she was directly descended from a line of famous lawmen.
	+ **B. She claimed she could get secrets the male detectives could not.**
	+ C. She threatened to blackmail him with information that she had already detective'd on her own.
* *What was Madame Imbert's DARK SECRET?*
	+ A. A witch had placed a curse on her that would kill her if she ever betrayed a friend.
	+ **B. Her husband was in jail for forgery.**
	+ C. She was in a sex cult, simple as that.
* *How did the women of Baltimore show that they supported secession?*
	+ **Answer: ladies wore a black and white cockade, which had been temporarily adopted as the emblem of secession.**
* *What was this fool-proof plan for assassinating the President-Elect?*
	+ A. They would blow up Lincoln's train with dynamite as it pulled into the Calvert Street Depot.
	+ B. They would poison Lincoln's dinner at a reception at the James Hotel.
	+ **C. Some guy would just, sorta, try to shoot him as he got off the train.**
* *Why did Lincoln refuse to go straight to Washington that night?*
	+ A. He didn't believe Pinkerton.
	+ **B. He refused to renege on a promise to raise the flag over Independence Hall the next morning.**
	+ C. He didn't want to frighten his wife, Mary.
* *WHAT'S THE MATTER?!?*
	+ **A. The passenger train that Warne had secured was scheduled to leave before Lincoln would be able to get on board.**
	+ B. Upon noticing the telegraph wires were cut, a secessionist got on a horse and started riding like a bat out of hell for Baltimore.
	+ C. The secessionists had found a magical genie!
* *But what happened to Kate Warne?*
	+ A. She and Pinkerton eventually got married, solving cases together well into their 70s.
	+ **B. She worked for the precursor to the secret service and died in her mid 30s.**
	+ C. She moved to Britain and established her own detective service called The Black Widows.

## Musical Guests

Abraham Lincoln's train blesses the trio with his appearance, although he seems to hate singing. The guests are amused.

## Winner

Kate Peterman wins the title of History Master and the Coveted Cup of the History Master for a second time. It arrives at her door and Ryan is forced to watch in envy. The Professor relishes in Ryan's disappointment.
Puppet History

* 1 & 2
* 3

***Puppet History*** is an internet series created and hosted by Shane Madej, and featuring Ryan Bergara. It debuted on Watcher Entertainment's YouTube channel. The first episode premiered on January 10th, 2020.

## Concept

Each episode of the show focuses on one story in history, taught by the show's host, The Professor. The show is presented like a game show: the students, Ryan Bergara and a guest star, have to compete to correctly answer questions, or compete in other competitions to gain points, or jelly beans, in order to win The Coveted Cup of the History Master.

Each episode is concluded by a tangentially related character in the story singing a song about their connection to the plot.

Puppet History includes comedy, featuring dark humour and strong language, the show is not recommended for younger audiences.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / various musical guests
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Guest stars

## Episodes

* Season One
* Season Two
* Season Three
* Season Four
* Specials

## Social Media

Puppet History has a Soundcloud where users can listen to the musical performances. Updates on the series are also posted to Watcher Entertainment's Instagram and Twitter, as well as an account belonging to The Professor. Fans can enroll here to subscribe to lessons.
The Story of St. Nicholas

"**The Story of St. Nicholas**" is a holiday special episode for *Puppet History*. It is the thirteenth episode overall.

## Plot

The Professor merrily teaches Ryan and Puppet History veteran, Kate Peterman, the story of St. Nicholas.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / Santa Claus / The Diamond Necklace / The Boat Oars / The Mummified Goose
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Kate Peterman as herself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *Where was Patara?*
	+ **A. Modern day Turkey**
	+ B. Modern day Germany
	+ C. Modern day Finland

* *What did Nicholas do?*
	+ A. Pretended to snore loudly.
	+ B. Yelled his own arguments over Arius for three hours straight.
	+ **C. He got up and smacked Arius right in his punk mouth.**
* *What was wrong with the butcher shop?*
	+ A. The butcher was trapped under a 500-pound cow carcass in the back.
	+ B. The butcher had buried a statue of a false god under the floor.
	+ **C. The butcher had been murdering and pickling children.**
* *What misfortune had befallen the poor man?*
	+ A. He had leprosy and was no longer able to work.
	+ B. Long-winded Genie poppycock from the professor
		- "The same curse that eventually befalls on all of God's creatures! An evil Genie was pursuing him through time & space! To steal something the Genie himself had made magical!"
	+ **C. He had three daughters.**
* *Why?*
	+ A. He was resurrected by a bishop, pickleboy style.
	+ B. His tomb now sits beneath Southern Turkey's most famous disco.
	+ **C. Italian sailors plundered his bones.**
* *What special property do Santa's bones reportedly have?*
	+ **A. They secrete a healing liquid.**
	+ B. They're radioactive.
	+ C. They're still growing.

## Musical Guests

### Diamond Necklace

The first musical guest is the Diamond Necklace where he sings about buying someone literally anything they want, and insisting on using all the money that he has to make the person happy.

### Boat Oars

The second musical guest is the Boat Oars where they sing about where they went to this holiday before they realize that they don't need to as long as they have each other.

### Mummified Goose

The third musical guest is the Mummified Goose where he sings about how The Professor should get Santa Claus a mummified goose for Christmas.
Обновление 0.515

## UPDATE 0.515 [BUGFIXING]

Сегодня пятница, и новые исправления уже здесь! Это исправление ошибок в основном связано с проблемами Военного лагеря: экипировка солдат теперь работает правильно, поселенец теперь может быть назначен солдатом прямо в диалоге, а также игрок может изменить ранг солдат там, сундук с сокровищами был добавлен в палатку командиров, чтобы добавить снаряжение, не бегая каждый раз в Ратушу. Кроме того, я сделал небольшое дополнение для игроков, которые используют опцию "без войны" - с включенной этой настройкой у вас не будет ограничений на строительство 1 поселения одновременно. Кстати, эта идея была дана некоторыми из вас-игроками - так что будьте свободны использовать свои идеи и предложения в разделе if Kingdoms community, я смотрю туда очень часто, потому что это не только источник великих идей, но и источник большого вдохновения. Еще раз спасибо за все ваши сообщения об ошибках (f11) - это действительно огромная помощь для игры! Полный список изменений и исправлений приведен ниже:

#### **Исправление ошибок**

* Исправлена ошибка, когда игрок не мог присоединиться к банде бандитов и диалог закольцовывался;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда строки квестов были видны во время обычного разговора - об обучении или помощи в поселении;
* Исправлена ошибка командирские перки иконки и бандиты иконки имели неправильные текстуры;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда игрок не мог говорить с поселенцами после разговора с бандитом;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда животные могли двигаться во время анимации "предупреждение" ;
* Было добавлено всплывающее сообщение, когда игрок пытается построить новый дом, имея еще один эшафот для строительства;
* Исправлена ошибка городские ворота могли иметь неправильное положение высоты после загрузки;
* Теперь игрок может построить несколько поселений, когда включена опция "без войны" ;
* Теперь невозможно создать военный лагерь и управлять им, когда включена опция "нет войны" ;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда солдат мог взять все предметы из сундука при снаряжении предмета;
* Теперь солдаты автоматически снаряжают предметы, находясь в военном лагере;
* Сундук с сокровищами поселения теперь можно получить прямо из сундука командиров в военном лагере;
* Исправлена проблема, когда ИИ все еще мог использовать координаты дерева, когда дерево было отключено дорогой или структурой;
* Теперь игрок может изменить назначение поселенцев на " военный" прямо в диалоговом окне;
* Теперь игрок может изменить ранг солдата прямо в диалоге;
* Интенсивность солнечных лучей немного уменьшилась, изменился сценарий изменения цвета;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда экипированные предметы не показывались правильно на солдате;
* Русский перевод был обновлен;
* Теперь при нажатии кнопки "Changelog" в главном меню вы автоматически откроете все списки изменений в сообществе Steam;
* Исправлена ошибка, когда стена не могла иногда строиться, когда предыдущая стена имела активную баррикаду;
History Master

Kate Peterman receiving the title in Season Two

**History Master** is a title received upon winning the Coveted Cup of the History Master in *Puppet History*.

## Design

The title onscreen is accompanied by a bright flash, to which the logo appears. Bright yellow curved block text saying "History Master" appear above and below the golden trophy. On the jelly bean-filled trophy is the guest stars' face cropped into an oval in the center of the trophy. Around the trophy, levitates a brown book and a ringed globe. Above the Coveted Cup are storm clouds, which occasionally flash lightning.
Santa Claus

**Santa Claus** is a character and musical guest in *Puppet History*. He is a puppet created and played by Shane Madej. He makes his first appearance in "The Story of St. Nicholas."

## Appearance

In his puppet form, Santa Claus appears to be a white mound of remains with sunken blue-grey eyes. He wears a red stocking cap.

## Song

*(Note: Parts sung by The Professor are in **bold**.)*

### "Song for Santa"

**This Christmas**

**My wishlist**

**Isn't so much about the gettin'**

**But the hope that I can give**

**Saint Nicholas...**

**a gift that**

**let's him know how much we love him\***

**\*if in fact he really even lived**

**SANTA CLAUS!** (s-a-nta claus)

**You are magic**

**but you also maybe weren't real** (maybe weren't real!)

**and you slapped that guy** (but you slapped that guy!)

**who maybe shit himself to death** (maybe shit himself to death!)

**Look it up** (look it up!)

**We didn't cover it,**

**'cause it was kinda tangential**

**but he allegedly shit himself to death**

**H-here's a drawing...**

**SANTA CLAUS!!!**

**YOU SAVED THE PICKLE BOYS** (saved the pickle boys)

**AND DID A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF TOO!**

**AND NOW YOUR BOOONES!** (and now your bones!)

**But even bones deserve some love,**

**so here's a song**

**from me to you...**

**Santa Claus...** (Santa Claus...)

**(St. Nicholas you-you look like you want to sing,)**

**(do-do you want to sing?)**

\*Beat change\*

(O-o-o-h yeah!)

**(Okay...)**

Thanks, Professor

for that sweet, sweet song

I was a real Grinch™

but now I see that I was wrong

The holiday season's

not the time for holdin' grudges

It's the time for givin' gifts,

and eatin' cheese and tasty fudges

I'm old Saint Nick and I'm here to say

I used to be a bishop

but I'm bones today!

Every year I bring joys and toys to kids

But, frankly, there's lots of

other things I did

Hm... like what? Oh hm the one thing comes to mind!

Saint Nicholas saved the pickle boys (saved the pickle boys)

Ain't ya heard?

I saved the pickle boys! (saved the pickle boys)

Sounds absurd and far-fetched

but you sure-as-shit can bet

that Saint Nicholas saved the pickle boys! (A-A-A-A-A)

Now what did I do?

**He saved the pickle boys...**

The pickle WHO?

**The pickle boys?**

Who killed the butcher too?

**Wait did you kill the butcher?**

Anywho!

Ladies and gentlemen,

brutally barreled by a psychotic butcher,

but resurrected the clown prince of Christmas!

A.K.A. the pickle boys!

Put your hands together f-o-o-o-o-r

the pickle bo-o-o-o-ys!

The pickle boys (the pickle boys) x2

Do the pickle dance (do the pickle dance) x2

(inaudible)

They don't dance well!

They really suck at dancing...

**They don't look well**

No they don't...

**Are they okay?**

Maybe I shouldn't have meddled and brought them back to life.

Saint Nicholas killed the pickle boys

I didn't save the pickle boys

Oh yeah!

**Uh, are you gonna keep singing about the pickle boys?**

Yes I'm just very proud of what I did with the pickle boys!
Golden Stool

**Golden Stool** is a character and musical guest in *Puppet History*. It is a puppet played by Shane Madej. It makes its first appearance in the season three episode "The War of the Golden Stool."

It is a sacred item not to be sat on or to touch the ground of the Asante people, sparking multiple wars over ownership.

## Song

### "A Stool of Gold"

A STOOL OF GOLD

A STOOOL OF GOOOLD

A STOOOOL OF GOOOOLD

A STOOOOOL OF GOOOOOLD

A STOOOOOOL OF GOOOOOOLD

A stool

of gold

A stool

of gold!

A STOOOOOOL

A stool, of gold (repeated vocals)

A STOOOOOOOL OF GOOOOOOOLD

A STOOL, STOOL OF GOLD (x2)

(Above section chanted)

A STOOOOOOOOL (stool, stool of gold)

OF GOOOOOOOOLD (stool, stool of gold)

A STOOOOOOOOOL OF GOOOOOOOOOLD (stool, stool of gold)

OF GOOOOOOOOOLD (stool, stool of gold)

A STOOOOOOOOOL (stool, stool of gold)

OF GOOOOOOOOOLD (stool, stool of gold)

I SAID A STOOOOOOOOOOOL (stool, stool of gold)

OF GOOOOOOOOOOLD (stool, stool of gold)

A STOOOOOOOOOOOOL (stool, stool of gold)

OF GOLD (of gold)

(stool, stool of gold) (stool, stool of gold)

(of gold)
Puppet History: GRADUATION!

Puppet History: GRADUATION is the 9th and final lesson received by Email. It was released after the season two finale, congratulating fans for graduating Puppet University.

## Lesson

Hello! And welcome back.

You’ve completed the fall semester of Puppet University. You’ve learned about the first female detective, the graffiti in Pompeii, a forgotten female pharaoh, the worst Olympics ever, and a bitter rivalry between a genius and a counterfeiter; and heard the heartbreaking love song between two star-crossed oars. Hopefully your semester has been all the richer for it. On behalf of myself and The Professor, we bestow upon you this certificate of completion, confirming that you’ve fulfilled the requirements for the course (attendance and enthusiasm). Save this in a special place in your inbox!

Don’t forget to download the certificate **here** to add your name! (Or maybe even frame it?)

And finally - Because of your exceptional academic performance, here is a special gift! We have just released new *Puppet History merch* and you can use our discount code **donnerparty** to save 15% off of your purchase for the next 2 weeks.

*Until next time!*
Abraham Lincoln's train

## Lincoln's Train

**Abraham Lincoln's Train** is a character and musical guest in *Puppet History*. He is a puppet created and played by Shane Madej. He makes his first appearance in the season two episode "How America's First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln."

Lincoln's train hates singing and being a train. He was meant to be Abraham Lincoln's train, though he was abandoned when Lincoln figured out his life was in danger.

## Appearance

Lincoln's train takes the appearance of a standard steam train, with a stylized mouth, eyebrows, eyes and mustache created out of train parts. A top hat sits atop Lincoln's train's cockpit.

## Song

### "Chugga Chugga Boo Hoo" ("How America's First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln")

Choo choo!

I'm a train!

Choo choo!

This is the song I sing!

Choo choo!

All aboard!

Y'know, it sucks to be a train.

Luggin' normie losers through the cold and rain (It stinks, man)

Same path (same path), same track (same track), same route (same route)

The monotony's enough to make a choo choo pout! (I swear!)

(Choo choo go boohoo)

But then one day you catch a break (Let me tell ya)

Gonna take a V.I.P. to the Old Line State

Uh, who, me? Yes, you. (Yes, you)

But who? (But who) I'll tell ya who!

The soon-to-be president of the United States.

Well, they call him Honest Abe

He's got a funny little beard

And he's lanky and weird

But he sure knows just the words to say

But then some racist dipshits

Took out a hit and chose to sit and wait

For the man they call Abe

And robbed this lonely locomotive of a real exciting day

And then all of my choo choos

Turned into nothin' but boohoos

BOO HOO!

CHOO CHOO CHOO!

BOO CHOO HOO HOO!

BOO HOO!

CHOO BOO HOO!

BOO HOO HOO!

CHOO CHOO HOO!

BOO HOO CHOO CHOO BOO!

CHUGGA CHUGGA BOO HOO [SOBBING]

I don't wanna sing anymore! (You don't wanna sing no more!)

[CONTINUED SOBBING]

I DON'T WANNA SING ANYMORE! (You don't wanna sing anymore!)

I just wanna give a ride to the President

The big, tall guy with a funny hat

CHOO CHOO GO BOO HOO!

[SOBBING]

## Trivia

* This puppet was also teased in the same Watcher Weekly episode that the Olympic Torch was teased in.
Mummified Goose

**Mummified Goose** is a character and musical guest in *Puppet History*. He is a puppet created and played by Shane Madej.

He first appears in the season two episode "Hatshepsut: The Forgotten Pharaoh." In it, he sings about Hatshepsut's legacy and competency as a Pharaoh, and how we should remember her to help her spiritually.

He also appears in "The Story of St. Nicholas," where he sings about how The Professor should get Santa Claus a mummified goose for Christmas.

## Songs

### "Hatshepsut" ("Hatshepsut: The Forgotten Pharaoh")

Hatshepsut

She was competent as hell

They tried to wipe her from the books

As far as we can tell

A pharoah you should know

She really held it down

Oh, just because she kept the peace

She don't deserve renown?

Hatshepsut

Oh, you haven't heard?

She stepped up and ruled Egypt

And raised Thutmose The Third

A queen! A king!

Depends on which glyphs you've seen

But, by and large, she sure took charge

And really nailed the thing

Hatshepsut

A funny claim to fame

Her husband, dad, and kinda-son

They all had the same name

A pharaoh who narrowly missed her chance to rule

But luckily the king-to-be was tied up with pre-school

Hatshepsut

If you're still asking, "Whom?"

Just show the pharaoh's greatness

Can't be measured by their tomb

A queen, supreme

Yet surreptitiously interred

I should know

Me and my bro were mummified with her

Hatshepsut

Commit the name to memory

Because you see regrettably

She happens to be dead

And we can help her out enormously

Particularly spiritually

If every now and then-ish

We can toss a kindly thought to

She who nearly became history

Not via Egyptology

But lost for all eternity

Erased, though it's a mystery

Why anyone would possibly

Resort to such vile treachery

And so it's with respect that we remember

On occasion she kicked ass

(Hatshepsut)

### "Mummified Goose" ("The Story of St. Nicholas")

Well, the winter snow's a-fallin'

And you know your friends are

All expecting’ gifts oh so unique

And you really better nail it 'cause

You’ll know that you have failed it if they're not

Knocked off their feet

You can get 'em comfy slippers

Season tickets to the Clippers

A kazoo for playin' jolly little tunes

Some nova lox or wooly socks

Fancy chocolates in a box

A funny shirt they'll probably throw away by June

But if you wanna get 'em something cool and hip and new?

(Psst)

Give their ass a mummified

Give Their ass a mummified

Give their ass a mummified goose

Can you imagine how they'll clap

After they tear away the wrappin'

And lay their eyes upon an ancient dusty bird

Some hollows bones, their very own

To grace a mantle in their home

If I might say, pretty impressively preserved

So listen, hey

This holiday

I'm not sure what else I can say

But if you really wanna throw 'em for a loop

You find a goose that went kaputt

You wrap it up from beak to foot

And then you

Give their ass a mummified

Give their ass a mummified

Give their ass a mummified goose
Ryan Bergara

**Ryan Steven Bergara** is an actor, internet personality, and contestant in *Puppet History*. Ryan appears in every episode, and is the only character other than The Professor who appears in every episode. He is well-known for his involvement in Buzzfeed Unsolved alongside Shane Madej.

Ryan and The Professor want to murder each other, but due to the move to Online University, the confrontation has yet to happen.

Throughout season four, it seemed Ryan had changed his ways and turned over a new leaf in his relationship with The Professor, but in the season finale, it is revealed this was part of his ploy to win the coveted cup of History Master, as part of his deal with The Devil and work with the Genie that resulted in the demise of The Professor.

## Episodes

Ryan Bergara appears in every episode, and is the only contestant to appear in every episode. He has never won an episode. This losing streak has lead to resentment between Ryan and The Professor.
Policarpa's Spool

**Policarpa's Spool** is a character and musical guest in Puppet History. It is a puppet created and played by Shane Madej. It makes its first appearance in "Policarpa: The Revolutionary Teen Spy."

It hates the royalists in Spain, and it sings on how to gain independence with a junta, and highly insists on spying on the rich.

## Song

### "Snitch On The Rich"

When you're the spool

Of a seamstress

I'm telling you

You really see some shit

Well there's a new trend goin' round

Folks are pledgin' blind loyalty to the crown

Have these royalists any shame?

Sniffin' the throne of some tool in Spain

I hate to say it
Something must be done

Why don't we start out with

Step number one

You gotta snitch

Snitch on the rich

I insist you try your best to

Spy on high society

As discussed

You mustn't trust that upper crust

Toss their asses on the menu

'Cause it's time to eat

Ohhh, independence

It's a-comin'

Go on and hide inside your homes (Snitchin' on the rich)

But we got eyes and we got ears

And lemme tell ya, folks we're takin' notes

HI!

Look around you,

out your window,

tell me what,

ya notice anything concernin'?

All those crowds,

and angry people, (people chanting, "junta!")

wavin' pitchforks, (people chanting, "junta!")

gotta tell ya, (people chanting, "junta!")

sure seems like, (people chanting, "junta!")

a revolution is emergin'! (people chanting, "junta!")

Well there's a junta over here, (people chanting, "junta!")

and a junta over there, (people chanting, "junta!")

and hey! (people chanting, "junta!")

A couple juntas over there, (people chanting, "junta!")

and over there, (people chanting, "junta!")

and over there... (people chanting, "junta!")

That's, (people chanting, "junta!")

a lotta juntas... (people chanting, "junta!")

Jesus Christ!

That's a lotta juntas! (Junta!)

GOTTA SNITCH,

SNITCH ON THE RICH! (Junta!)

I INSIST YOU TRY YOUR BEST (Junta!)

TO SPY ON HIGH SOCIETY! (Junta!)

AS DISCUSSED,

YOU MUSN'T TRUST THAT UPPER CRUST (Junta!)

TOSS THEIR ASSES ON THE MENU (Junta!)

'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO EAT! (Junta!)

OH!

INDEPENDENCE, (Junta!)

IT'S A-COMIN'! (Junta!)

GO ON AND HIDE INSIDE YOUR HOMES. (Junta!)

YOU MUSTN'T TRUST THAT UPPER CRUST (Junta!)

TOSS THEIR ASSES ON THE MENU (Junta!)

'CAUSE IT'S TIME-A-TO-EAT! (Junta!)

OH YUM!

TASTY! YUMMYUMIYUMIYUMIYUM.
The Great Molasses Flood

"**The Great Molasses Flood**" is the sixth and final episode of season three, and the nineteenth episode total of *Puppet History*.

## Plot

The Professor teaches Ryan & Garrett about a huge molasses flood that occurred in Boston.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / The Bostonian Horse
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Garrett Watts as himself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *Why?*
	+ **A. It was used in weapons manufacturing.**
	+ B. The birth of tiki bars in the 1910s sent domestic demand for rum skyrocketing.
	+ C. A 1914 tax on table sugar tripled the already high prices of white sugar.

* *How did the tank owners combat this?*
	+ A. They drained the tank and repaired it.
	+ B. They built a second tank around the first tank.
	+ **C. They slapped some paint on the thing and said, "that'll do!"**
* *What foe was this?*
	+ Ryan: Molasses? Idk bruh/Prohabition?
	+ Garrett: The Boston Tea Party/Flapper Girls/**Flu!**
	+ **The Spanish Flu.**
* *Why?*
	+ A. The stables for the city's ambulance driving horses had been located to the tank and were now in ruins.
	+ B. The mayor of Boston refused to send immediate aid, instead releasing a statement saying, "We love the molasses, it's very special."
	+ **C. There was freakin' molasses everywhere!!!**
* *How many people died as a direct result of the Great Molasses Flood?*
	+ Ryan: 10,000
	+ Gerrett: **Nobody**
	+ **20**

* *How did Boston set about cleaning up their sticky city?*
	+ **A. They washed the molasses into the harbor and covered the streets in sand.**
	+ B. Whatever that was about (a Genie monologue)
	+ C. Rats!!!

## Musical Guest

This episode's Musical Guest is the Bostonian Horse, who sings about his great life, before getting submerged in molasses and dying. He then meets God, where then God tries to convince the horse to go the heaven.

## Winner

Unsurprisingly, due to the "complex system," Ryan loses and Garrett wins. Where then Garrett gives a speech were he says that he will accept his prize in honor for anyone who died in the great molasses flood.
Puppet species

The puppet species is a species of blue sentient puppets. How one becomes part of this species is currently unknown. They vary in size, from larger than a human, human-sized to smaller than a hand.

## Members

* The Professor

* Blueberries?
* Beast
* Cookie Monster
* Blue Man Group ("shave[d] from head-to-toe")
* Garrick Bernard (momentarily)
* Satan? (depicted as a puppet)

## Trivia

* According to The Professor, members of the species have family reunions, implying all of puppet sp. are sentient.
* Puppets make honking noises during sex.