Real (a 2chan story)

## Real (a 2chan story) by unknown author

(Note: this story was translated from Japanese to English.)

This isn’t all that interesting, and I’ll try to keep this from getting too long. Sorry if I can’t do that, though. Anyway, here’s my story.

First, you need to know that being possessed, targeted, and followed by the unknown isn’t fun. From my own experience, getting cleansed once or twice won’t necessarily help you. This has been eating me up inside for too long because, honestly, a lot of people can’t be saved.

My own story started about two and a half years ago. I admit that for the time being, I can function just fine. I don’t have any physical problems, and from the outside it must look like I lead a pretty normal life. The problem is I don’t know when all of that will be taken away from me. Nobody does.

I guess I should start at the beginning, though. At the time, I was 23 years old, and it was my first year working full time at a certain company. I worked my ass off at my job; I had just finished college, and I wanted to do things right. The company was small, so there weren’t many people that were around my age. Maybe it was out of necessity, but those of us who were younger ended up becoming pretty good friends.

One of the guys was from the northeast. His name was Ogawa, and he seemed to know just about everything. He also had tons of friends and acquaintances. I wondered if they just didn’t tell him things because the things he knew were just… weird. For example, he’d say something like “If you do that, such and such a thing will happen” or “So-and-so is on his way here.” Most people that say stuff like that are just full of it, but Ogawa… Ogawa was something else. Whatever he said eventually came true. At the time, I thought it was all part of some big joke.

I ended up getting a car and spent almost no time at home. I had only had part-time jobs before, and the money I was getting at this job was way more than I had ever had. I ended up spending most of my weekends hanging out and having fun with my friends. At the beginning of August, Ogawa and I managed to get a couple of girls to come along with us to a place that was supposed to be haunted. It ended up being pretty creepy. I got chills a few times when we were walking around, and it really felt like something was watching us the entire time we were there. Nothing happened, though, so we ended up all going home after a while.

Fast forward three days. I was at work, and like every other day, I was staying late. It was an unspoken rule that new employees couldn’t leave until all of our seniors had already left. When I finally was able to go home, I was dead tired. I walked inside, locked the door, and took my shoes off. I don’t know why, but as I passed my mirror, I did what you are never supposed to do. It was stupid, I know, and it wasn’t even like I was trying to test it out. It just sort of came to mind, and I had to do it.

I’m getting ahead of myself again, so let me explain this better. My apartment was 15 minutes from the station. The apartment itself is a small studio with a short hallway leading to the door going outside. The mirror is right at the end of the hall next to the room. I don’t want to give complete details, but Ogawa told me about a little ritual you can do in front of a mirror. He said “If you stand in front of a mirror and do [something] and then look to the right, a [thing] will come.” The best I can describe it is that you do a little bow as you’re turning.

I didn’t think that anything would show up, so I did a little bow and turned to the right. As soon as I turned, I could tell something was right in the center of my room. Whatever it was looked strange. It must have been a bit more than five feet tall. Its hair was long and messy and covered much of its face. Paper charms of some sort were pasted all over its face, but I couldn’t make out how many there were. As I looked at its clothes, which I’m sure were the same that dead people wear, I noticed that it was swaying back and forth rhythmically.

I froze in place. I couldn’t make a sound. I somehow felt paralyzed with fear and confusion. My brain was going in overdrive trying to understand what exactly was going on and what the thing was, but nothing at all made any sense.

I want you to try and imagine what I was going through. Just close your eyes and imagine that you’re in a tiny, perfectly silent room where *something* is standing there watching you.

The ritual was obviously what brought the thing to me, but I couldn’t understand what exactly was going on. I was overwhelmed with confusion and fear. Even though the lights were on, I was locked in place by my fear because I could still see that *thing* there as clear as day and it just appeared out of nowhere. And it seemed to make the air around it blue somehow.

The room was so silent that it felt as if time had completely stopped.

I came to the conclusion that I had to get out of my apartment. My shoes were on the ground, and I inched my hand towards them, making sure not to take my eyes off of the creature in front of me. I don’t know why, but I felt that if I turned away something awful would happen. I walked backwards out of the room and down the hall. It usually only took about three steps to get about halfway down the hall, but I was moving excruciatingly slowly. I could still see the thing from the mirror, and I saw that its swaying began to increase in intensity. I continued moving backwards only to notice that it was also starting to moan softly.

I don’t really remember what happened after that. The next thing I knew, I was walking into the convenience store near the station. To my relief, there were plenty of people inside, but I couldn’t take my mind off of what had just happened. Part of me felt something like anger directed at the thing that invaded my home, while the part of me that managed to keep its cool was more worried about whether or not I remembered to lock the door.

I was too scared to go home and I ended up spending the night in a family restaurant waiting for morning. I opened my door as the sky began to turn gray and slowly made my way down the hall and back into my room, but it was gone. I turned back around and went outside to get a can of coffee from the vending machine. I smoked a cigarette in between sips. I started to wonder whether or not I had actually seen anything to begin with. I mean, that sort of thing’s impossible, right?

The sun was out by the time I finished my coffee. The light gave me courage, and I went back inside and into the room. I didn’t see anything, but because my room can look gloomy and I didn’t want to open the curtains, I turned the light on.

I hadn’t noticed it when I first got inside, but the thing had left evidence behind proving that I hadn’t imagined it. The spot it had been standing in was filthy; it was covered in a sludge that smelled awful. It also left something that looked like foot prints, but the amount of dirt that had been left behind seemed to be too much for having stepped in something. It didn’t take long for me to admit that everything had happened just as I remembered.

I was taken aback. My palms began to sweat. Thankfully the lights were on, but that thought led me to another. Sludge stuck to the light switch and also to my left hand, which I had used to turn on the light.

For a while, I felt pretty down. After brooding I finally realized that there wasn’t much I could do to reverse what had happened, so I may as well deal with it. I brought it here, so it’s my responsibility. I guess I’m a good example of someone with AB blood—I can be irresponsible at times, but I’m usually able to think things through.

I washed up all of the dirt as well as I could and took a shower. I had work that day, so even though I didn’t get any sleep I left as soon as I got dressed. I wasn’t able to get the smell out of the apartment, but it’s practically impossible to get a day off from work so I told myself I’d just deal with it when I got back.

Everything was just how I expected it to be when I arrived at work. I did my job, but I was preoccupied with the need to talk with Ogawa. He’s the one that told me about the summoning process, so maybe he’d be able to give me some advice.

I wasn’t able to talk with him until lunchtime, but he was able to tell me more than what I knew before. Here’s a basic outline of what was said.

“Hey, you know that thing you told me about?” I sat down next to him. “When you stand in front of a mirror, do a little bow and turn and then something creepy comes and makes your apartment smell like shit? Well, I did it, and it came.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Ogawa barely seemed to notice what I had said.

“I’m serious! Something, a spirit or I don’t know what, showed up after I did what you told me.”

“Oh. Okay, I remember talking about that.” He barely looked up from his lunch and seemed to be trying to brush me off.

“Stop fucking with me!” I slammed my palm down on his desk. “Something really creepy was standing right in the middle of my room!”

“I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about!” he insisted, eyes narrowing in annoyance.

“And I don’t know what’s going on!”

No matter what I said, it didn’t seem to be getting through to him. I knew that unless he believed me I wouldn’t be able to work on fixing the problem, so I told him everything that had happened leading up to the thing’s appearance. Ogawa didn’t believe me at all at first, but by the time I had finished my story he was obviously starting to come around. He agreed to come check out my apartment after work. We continued the rest of the day as if nothing was going on, but the entire time I was waiting to go home.

By the time we got to my apartment, it was already 10 pm. I opened the front door, and we were immediately assaulted with the stench I had smelled earlier that morning. I hadn’t left a window open, and with the warm temperature outside, the smell had gotten much worse during the day. He checked everything out, and I walked with him partway to his place. He finally seemed to believe me, because as I repeated everything for what seemed like the tenth time, all he had to say was “Really?”

I had hoped he would have some sort of plan of action, but I guess I had expected too much. He said that I should get cleansed and that he’d ask someone he knew about helping me out. He practically ran away from me as he went to his place, and I was left alone. I guess all I had to rely on was one of his many acquaintances and hope they pulled through.

I didn’t really want to stay in my apartment because of the smell and everything else, so I ended up making my way to a capsule hotel for the night. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing that thing again.

The next day, I went to a nearby temple rather than work. I told the monk what was going on, but he didn’t seem to be able to help me.

“I’m not trained in this sort of thing,” he said with a cheerful smile. “Have you thought about taking some time off work to rest? You’re probably just stressed out and need a break.” I went to several other famous temples and shrines throughout Tokyo, but they all said basically the same thing. I was completely exhausted and ready to give up. I decided to go to my hometown in Saitama, which wasn’t far from Tokyo.

To tell you the truth, I went there because my grandmother on my mom’s side helps take care of a nun who I’ll call Ms. Akagi. I couldn’t think of anyone better to talk to who would actually listen. Anyway, I’ll explain things a bit better so they make sense.

My mom is from Nagasaki, and so is her mom. I don’t know if it’s because of the war or what, but my grandma is a very devout Buddhist. She goes to a temple once a week, and that’s where Ms. Akagi lives and acts as the head priestess or nun or whatever you want to call it—it’s all the same to me. Well, I had met her a few times before, so I knew I could trust her. I don’t know the exact details, but the sect she follows is pretty famous and even though there are phony witch doctors out there that claim the same path, you know as soon as you meet Ms. Akagi that she’s the real deal.

She’s a very gentle person and speaks kindly of everyone. When I was in middle school, my parents decided to buy a plot of land and build a house. I don’t know if I’d quite call it a ground-breaking ceremony, but when something like that happened, we had the land cleansed. A week later, my grandma called and said Ms. Akagi insisted on coming and cleansing it herself. Apparently the land was bad. My mom didn’t know how since we’d already had everything cleansed by a priest, but Ms. Akagi insisted there were still bad things connected to the property.

I knew that I could depend on her.

Because I had spent so much time trying to find a priest in Tokyo that would help me, I didn’t get off the bus near my parents’ home until almost 9 pm. The town is mostly factories, so unlike Tokyo there weren’t many people out and about despite the early hour.

I quickly walked to my parents house from the bus stop, which took about 20 minutes. The streets were pretty much empty except for the street lights that appeared at set intervals. I kept having flashbacks to what had happened, but luckily I didn’t see any sign of the thing from my apartment. Instead, I started to notice strange things about myself.

Despite the fact that the sun had already gone down and the temperature was quickly dropping, the base of my neck felt really hot. It’s hard to describe exactly how it felt, but it was something like rope burn. It was almost as if something were tied around my neck and it was shifting back and forth. I started to feel around my neck with my hand. It *was* hot. A shiver ran up my spine, and I started to feel around other exposed parts of my body. Everything else reflected the cool air around me. I started to notice a stinging sensation as well, like I was getting a rash. My walk quickly turned into a run as I hurried to get home.

Out of breath, I hurried inside when I arrived. As I closed the door behind me, I heard my mom hanging up the phone. As soon as she saw my face, she started talking.

“Ms. Akagi just called! Do you remember her, the nun that lives in Nagasaki? She’s very worried about you. She said that something bad is happening to you. She wants to talk to you right away. Are you okay? Did you do something?” Her eyes widened suddenly as if she had just now looked at me. “Oh my god! What happened to your neck?!”

I ran up to the mirror that stood next to the doorway. I don’t know why I thought the thing wouldn’t be following me because as soon as I saw my reflection my eyes immediately were drawn to the red ring that circled my neck. It looked as if I had been on a tight leash or something. I stepped closer to the mirror to get a better look. A rash was definitely making its way around my neck, and it showed no signs of going away.

I felt myself starting to shake. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t reply. All I could do was slowly walk upstairs to my mom’s room where a small statue of Buddha stood. I repeated a prayer over and over again.

“What happened?!” My father, who had apparently spoken with my mother, stormed into the room. My mother was getting scared, so she called my grandma. I couldn’t make out what she was saying through my own prayers, but I could tell that she was crying. Something about hearing her fear made me realize just how bad my situation was. There was nowhere I could hide. That thing would track me down wherever I went.

After three days, my situation was only getting worse. I don’t know if it was because of my mental condition or the hold that thing had on me, but I had a high fever for two days. My neck was constantly sweating, and around lunchtime the second day blood was mixed in with the sweat. The blood stopped by the next morning as did my fever for the most part. I was finally able to calm down a little bit.

But my neck was still itchy in that prickly sort of stinging way. Anytime anything touched it—a towel, a shirt, a blanket—it sent new waves of soft yet sharp pain through the rash. I wondered if it might not be because the blood was scabbing over, so I forced myself to avoid touching it. I stayed in bed all day, forcing myself to avoid thinking about it, but when I went to the bathroom I couldn’t help but look in the mirror. My eyes were drawn to my reflection; I knew that if I didn’t look it would drive me crazy.

What I saw was unlike anything I’d ever seen. The redness had mostly gone away, but the rash had managed to spread and grow even further. I get goosebumps thinking of it even now it was so disgusting. I don’t want to gross you out, but I’m going to try and describe this as well as I can. Sorry if this makes you feel sick.

Originally the line around my neck was bright red and about 1 cm wide. It went all the way around my neck. My skin is pretty pale, so the redness was a really sharp contrast to what’s normal for me. It really looked like a red rope was tied around my neck.

But that was how it looked three days before. This time when I looked in the mirror, it was absolutely disgusting. Pus was seeping out. Well, that’s not exactly right. It was more like I had a ring of huge zits going around my neck. There wasn’t any space between the “zits” though, and there was pus leaking out from almost every bump I could see. It was much worse than what I can put into words—I threw up on the spot it was so shocking. I washed my neck off with water as well as I dared, and I got some ointment from my mom. I layered it on and went back to bed where I cried for much of the night.

“Why me?” That’s all I could think. Nothing else came to mind except resentment that I was going through this.

Around the time I got to the point where I couldn’t cry anymore, my cell phone rang. It was Ogawa. When I saw his name on the caller ID, I was filled with hope. I was suddenly filled with an energy I forgot I had. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to get another phone call in my life.

“Hello?” I answered as quickly as I could.

“Hey, what’s up? Are you alright?”

“No… I’m not doing so great.” I tried not to let my emotions get the better of me, but my voice broke a little bit.

“I wondered… So things are bad, huh?”

“Bad doesn’t even begin to describe it. Hah… Anyway, have you heard anything from anyone that could help me?”

When he didn’t answer right away, I knew something was up. “I’m sorry, but no. I asked some friends from back home, but nobody knew anything.”

“What? So what do I do?” Even then I knew that he probably did what he could to help me, but I wasn’t really in the place to sympathize with him. I probably sounded selfish to him, but I didn’t care.

“Calm down a second, alright? Nobody I know can do anything for you, but a friend of a friend might be able to help. My friend says this person is really strong and that they’d be happy to meet you, but…”

“But…?”

“It’s kind of expensive.” He seemed somewhat hesitant when he brought this up.

“It costs money?!”

“Yea, that’s what my friend says… What'ya wanna do?”

“How much is it?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted the answer judging by Ogawa’s demeanor when the conversation turned to money.

“According to my friend, it’ll be about 500,000 yen…”

“500,000 yen?! How the hell am I supposed to pay for that?” I had a job, but there was no way I could pay that much money up front. I wasn’t what I’d call poor, but I didn’t really have enough left over to save much at the end of the month. Still, if it would release me from the pain and fear of being haunted, I didn’t really have much of a choice. “Alright… When can I meet them?”

“My friend says they live in Gunma. I’ll need to ask my friend about it, so let me call them and see what they can do.”

The conversation finished up, and I went to pray in front of the altar again. At some point, my mom called her mom. She said that Ms. Akagi would be coming to consult (and save) me as soon as she could. There was a problem, though. She was quite busy, and she was also old. She wasn’t able to come for another three weeks meaning that I would be stuck in hell wondering if something was going to happen or something was going to get me and constantly being unable to settle down. Three weeks of uncertainty. I couldn’t just sit around for that long, so I decided to do what little I could in the meantime.

Ogawa called me back sometime after 11 that night. “Sorry for taking so long. I had to wait for my friend to call me back. He says the guy can come tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday, isn’t it?” Ogawa seemed surprised I didn’t realize it was already the weekend. And I *was* surprised. It had been five days since I’d last seen him. I somehow completely forgot about work.

“Yea, I guess it is. Thanks. Will he come all the way here?”

“Says he will. He’s got a car, so I gotta send him your address, okay?” I heard moving around, maybe to get a piece of paper and pen to write with.

“What are you doing?” I asked after telling him my parents address. “I’d actually like you to come, too.”

“Oh, I’m going, too. Don’t worry about that.”

“Um… Can I pay him later?” I didn’t want to say outright that I didn’t have the money, but Ogawa picked up on that anyway.

“It should be okay. I mean, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Alright, great. Call me when you’re nearby.” It wasn’t much of a plan as far as I could tell, but it was more than I had before.

That night, I had a dream. A girl wearing a white kimono was kneeling on the floor next to me. She bowed forward deeply, placing three fingers from each hand on the floor as she bent. She then got up and left the room, but not before bowing again at the doorway. I don’t know if the dream had anything to do with the thing that was after me, but it somehow felt connected.

The next day, Ogawa called me just after noon. I guided him to my parents’ place as we spoke on the phone. He brought his friend who offered to help and a man that looked to be in his late thirties. I can’t really say that either of these people gave me the greatest sense of faith; they looked like low ranking yakuza members, and I couldn’t imagine what sort of place would hire them. I hadn’t told my parents about what was going on, so needless to say they were very dubious of the men’s sincerity.

One of the men introduced himself as Hayashi. I’m almost positive it was a fake name, but I guess that doesn’t really matter. He was the first to speak to me.

“Tomohiko, we heard your story from Ogawa. Sounds like you dug yourself into a pretty big hole, didn’t you?” Sorry to cut in here, but I’m Tomohiko. Sorry for not saying that earlier.

“Hayashi, was it?” My father stepped forward, tense and almost defensive. “May I ask why you are here?”

“Because shit’s hit the fan, Dad. I can call you that, right? Well, you might not believe everything I wanna say to you, but you know your son’s in trouble, right? Well, my friend Ogawa here called me up begging for help. Says his friend is in deep shit. That’s why I’m here.”

“He’s in trouble?” My mom peeked her head around my dad’s shoulder, her eyes flicking from Hayashi’s face to mine.

“Ya see, I have some experience with these sorta things. The problem is that the cases I’ve worked on weren’t this bad. I mean, not to freak you out or anything, but just standing in this room is enough to make even me feel scared.”

My father wasn’t convinced. “Excuse me, but what exactly is your job?”

“You really wanna know the answer to that? Well, yeah, of course you do. I come here out of nowhere and start talkin’ crazy shit left and right. You probably think I’m a lunatic or somethin’. Well, I won’t answer you exactly because that’s a complicated question with a complicated answer. Just trust me when I say that you’re going to want your son exorcised and everything he’s come into contact with cleansed. You don’t want him taken away from you for good, do you?’

“Can we really trust you to help us?” My mom, while less doubtful than my dad, didn’t seem to completely believe what Hayashi was saying.

“I will help you if you let me.” He looked her dead in the eyes as he said that, and she nodded. “This sorta thing can only be handled by experts such as myself. And, you know, this is pretty dangerous for me, too. I need some sort of insurance to guarantee I can trust you. Do you get what I’m sayin’?”

“How much do you want?” My father’s doubt strengthened, and the lines on his face hardened.

“Hmm… Well, if I don’t get 2,000,000 yen…”

“Are you kidding me?!” My father’s face turned red with anger.

“I’ve already done you a favor by coming all the way here. I mean, I’m trying to help a friend here. But if you don’t want my help, I can just leave right now. Or I can stay if you give me 2,000,000, and then I can save your son’s life. I think that all things considered, that’s a reasonable price to pay.” He turned to me at this point. “And haven’t you already gone to a bunch of temples for help? And none of them gave a damn, right? Well that’s because not many people actually know how to handle these situations. Do you really want to start searchin’ all over again?”

I stayed silent. When Hayashi brought up the price, I looked at Ogawa who seemed just as surprised as I felt. After talking between themselves for a few moments, my parents reluctantly agreed to cover the costs. He then said that he would conduct the exorcism that night and began preparing.

He left the house after saying he needed to get ready. Really he meant that he was going to get the money my parents had promised him. He came back that evening and immediately got to work. He arranged candles around the room we were standing in and pasted a charm in the center of the room. He then sat on his knees, set a crystal ball just in front of himself, and took a rosary in his hands. He took what I assume was *sake* and poured it into a glass. That was the extent of his preparations.

“Hey, Tomohiko, I’m gonna exorcise the ghost from you, alright? Everything’s gonna be alright now, so I need Mom and Dad to do me a favor.” He looked at them intently. “Sorry, but I’m gonna need you to leave the house for a while, alright? I can’t promise that this thing won’t try to possess somebody else, and we don’t want that happenin’ to you.” My parents looked at him suspiciously and then slowly left the house. They went into their car outside and waited for everything to be over.

Hayashi began once the sun had gone down and most signs of light had disappeared from the outside. He began chanting something that sounded like a sutra to me, and at set intervals he would put his finger into the cup and flick the liquid at me. I half-doubted and half-believed that he knew what he was doing, and I closed my eyes and lied down in my bed when he commanded me to do so.

The exorcism went on for quite some time. The sutra began to sound disconnected or broken somehow. I kept my eyes closed, but something about the surrounding atmosphere started to feel wrong, and that feeling intensified until the only thing I was aware of was the sutra that was still filling the otherwise silent room.

I hadn’t noticed it previously, but the burning sensation in my neck had returned and intensified. It was well beyond the point of being itchy—it downright hurt. I wanted to open my eyes and look around, but I clenched my jaw and forced myself to endure the pain. That’s when the chanting stopped.

But something was wrong.

Something about the ending seemed more like it had been cut off rather than finished properly. It was also deathly silent in the room. Nobody spoke a word. Nobody moved a muscle. The pain surrounding my neck didn’t recede at all; rather it intensified yet again, and the burning sensation started to become unbearable. The room also felt cold compared to what it had been before the exorcism started, and I go the distinct impression that something was standing over me.

I told myself not to open my eyes. I knew that was the main thing I wasn’t supposed to do. I knew that keeping my eyes closed was the smart thing to do, but I couldn’t resist. I opened them. What I saw was absolutely terrifying.

Hayashi was sitting on my right side, working on the exorcism. On my left side sat that *thing*; it was sitting on its knees, much like Hayashi was. Its hands were on its knees, and it stretched over my body as it peered into Hayashi’s face. The space between their faces would barely fit a baseball. Stranger still, the spirit moved its head as an owl would; it held its face diagonally and then would twitch so it was diagonal in the other direction. As it stared at Hayashi’s face, it whispered something in a horrible voice that I couldn’t quite understand. Maybe it was whispering something to Hayashi. I don’t know. Whatever it was doing, it wasn’t having a good effect on Hayashi. His face began to face downwards, and his eyes dropped accordingly. He didn’t blink, and he didn’t say a word. His mouth dropped open and a string of saliva fell from his lips.

Ever so slightly, he began to smile. As he listened to whatever the thing was saying, he would occasionally give a small nod. All I could do was stare at the scene before me as it played out.

The thing suddenly moved its neck and the next thing I knew its gaze turned to me. I felt my eyes squeeze shut, and I pulled the blanket over my head as I whispered Buddhist prayers to myself. Visions of the monster twitching its head in its owl-like way, just inches from my face, flashed in my mind. I was terrified.

I heard a rattling sound coming from the stairs, and I was suddenly aware that something was dashing down the stairs. Hayashi had run away. I huddled up even further in my bed, waiting for something to happen.

Moments later, my parents rushed into my bedroom, turned the lights on, and ripped the blanket off of me. I was curled into fetal position, still trying to grip onto the blanket. They told me that when Hayashi took off, he didn’t even look in their direction; he hopped in the car with Ogawa and his friend, and then disappeared. Ogawa later told me that when Hayashi showed up, all he said was “Start the car and *go*” and stayed silent for the rest of the ride.

Hayashi’s visit was supposed to help me, but my situation had only worsened. I knew that I didn’t have time to wait for Ms. Akagi to come.

By the time four days had passed since the failed exorcism, my neck started to look and feel much better. The mark was still there, but I physically felt much better. My fever had also gone down, and I didn’t really have much to complain about as far as pain or anything else went.

But that was just my body. Mentally, I wasn’t doing so well. Regardless of if it was morning, noon, or night, I was always worried that the spirit would show its face again. I couldn’t sleep at night, and I could barely eat. I was always on the look out for anything odd in my surroundings. I didn’t have time to be tired or hungry.

After ten days, I noticed that my face started to look different. Scratch that—I *did* look different. I could barely recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. I was starting to give into the mental anguish of what was happening to me, and it was starting to take a toll on my appearance. I couldn’t wait any longer.

Obviously I was in no condition to deal with the “real world” and I had my parents contact my employer to tell them that I needed to quit. While they didn’t tell me at the time, I guess my parents got an earful from my boss.

Anyway, I was scared of anything and everything. The persimmon tree outside the window, swaying in the wind, was awful. Whenever I saw it out the corner of my eye, I wondered if it wasn’t that thing moving back and forth. It would still be two weeks until Ms. Akagi could come and visit me, and I was getting restless. It was too long to wait, too long to deal with the fear.

One day, my parents took me by surprise and forced me out of the house and into the car. They were bringing me somewhere.

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine,” my father insisted several times on the way. My mother, who was sitting in the back seat with me, reached over and began massaging my head and shoulders. I don’t remember the last time she did anything like that—it must have been years. I don’t know how much time passed, but at some point the sun went down and the moon took its place in the sky along with the stars. Even though I was more than 20 years old, I scooted over next to my mom and fell asleep leaning on her shoulder. It was the first time I had gotten a decent night’s sleep in several days.

When I woke up, the sun was coming up and I felt refreshed. My parents told me it had been a day and a half since we got in the car. I got a feeling that told me I wouldn’t be sleeping like that again. I tried to keep those thoughts from occupying my mind, and I looked outside. Wherever we were, it wasn’t familiar to me.

Little by little, though, my memory was jogged by various parts of the scenery. I was certain we were in Nagasaki as soon as I saw a train going by in the center of the road. I was quite surprised that my parents had brought me all the way across the country. I assumed that they knew taking a plane or train would have been out of the question for me, so they drove me themselves. They admitted that they had stopped several times along the way for breaks, but my dad didn’t get much sleep. My mom didn’t want me to worry, so she stayed next to me the whole time to help me stay calm. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay them for what they did for me during those two days.

My grandparents live in a city called Yanagawa. When we arrived, we stopped at the bottom of a steep hill, and my parents got out of the car to go talk with my grandparents before they brought me in. They lived on the hill, and you need to walk up a set of stone steps to get to their house.

My parents just wanted to drop off our things and pick up my grandparents before we went to Ms. Akagi’s. I knew things were bad when my offer to help was refused. Still, having slept well the night before and being so far away from Tokyo and Saitama somehow helped me relax more than I had been able to.

While I was still waiting in the car for their return, I sat cross-legged on the seat. I zoned out, staring at the street, when out of nowhere my neck started hurting again. It was a sharp pain, running circles around the markings. The intensity of it made the pain I had felt before seem like a tickle. My hand went to the rash without even thinking about it, and I was shocked to find that it was wet. When I pulled my fingers away, I saw that they were stained with blood. As it slowly ran down my fingers, I was pulled back into the reality of my current situation. However, rather than being scared or worrying about that thing being close to me again, all I felt was a heavy sense of disappointment that it was happening again. I was nearing the end of my rope. Tears started to stream down my cheeks as I realized that I couldn’t handle much more of the distress.

It might be difficult to understand just what I was feeling, but the best way I can explain it is that all of these awful things just kept coming, and every time I thought I was going to be okay, something worse happened. I was falling deep into depression because I couldn’t see a way out of it. The fact that trying to fix things only made them worse was soul crushing.

“What’s the fucking point?! Just give me a break already!” I mumbled to myself as I cried, feeling the impact of the sudden turn of events even more since I had felt so much better for the past few hours. When my parents returned to the car with my grandparents, I started to panic. I was sitting in the back seat of the family car with blood dripping down my neck and tears covering my face. There wasn’t really any way to explain that.

“What’s wrong?”

“Say something!”

“This has gone on for too long!”

“Tomohiko, please snap out of it!”

“What are you going to do?”

Everybody was talking at once, and it was overwhelming for me. I started to get agitated, and finally I exploded. “Shut the fuck up already!”

What was I supposed to say? They couldn’t do anything to help me, and I certainly couldn’t help myself. Yelling wasn’t going to fix the problem, and it was only making me feel worse. I know what I said was bad, but the thoughts going through my head were even worse. I mean, I quit work without notice, and I lost my parents a ton of money. I huddled up even more in my seat and began to feel awful for my temper. I was causing them so much trouble, and they were driving around the country to help me. Thinking about it now, it’s pretty embarrassing, and I deserved what happened next.

My father had never raised a hand to me in my entire life, but at that moment he slapped me across my left cheek. It hurt like hell, and for a moment I almost forget about the pain in my neck. I had argued with my dad dozens of times, but he had never hit me before based on moral grounds.

“Apologize to your grandparents,” he said silently yet coldly. Somehow, his actions and words calmed me down. My desperation diminished, and I was able to calmly apologize to everyone. My resolve to overcome my difficulties was strengthened, though I did start crying when my grandpa started to try and encourage me on the way to Ms. Akagi’s. I felt pretty pathetic.

When we got to Ms. Akagi’s house—which of course was part of a temple compound—I felt like a weight had been lifted. Nothing happened to make me feel that way, I just assumed that everything was going to be okay since we had finally arrived. When we made our way past the gates to the compound, were were greeted by a middle-aged man. I got the distinct impression that Ms. Akagi’s house had frequent visitors, my grandma being one of them.

We were led to the back of the house and entered from there. We were led to a decent-sized Buddhist altar room where Ms. Akagi was. She sat on her knees on a pillow in front of the altar. She turned to face us slowly and waited for somebody to speak. (Sorry for the bad Nagasaki accent. I’m only going off of memory.”

“Tomohiko, it’s alright. Ms. Akagi’ll take care o’ ya.” My grandma nudged me towards her friend.

“Been a while, ain’t that right? You grown up so much since I saw you last. You got handsome, boy! Time sure does fly…” She smiled kindly.

“You can take care o’ him, right? He’s gonna be alright?” My grandma asked.

“O’ course he’ll be alright,” my grandpa interrupted. “We just got here. Ms. Akagi still don’t know what’s wrong with him. Give ‘er some time to figure it out.”

“Honey, be quiet, you hear? I can’t help it that I’m worried, and you know that!” I don’t really know why, but just standing in front of Ms. Akagi seemed to put all of us at ease. I felt like negativity rushed out of me whenever I exhaled in her presence, and my parents seemed to feel the same, though their fatigue was apparent just by looking at them.

“You two must be tired somethin’ awful, drivin’ down here without stoppin’,” my grandpa must have also noticed. “Just let Ms. Akagi do her thing, alright? You go to the next room and have a rest, why don’t ya?” My parents nodded gratefully and took his advice.

“Well,” Ms. Akagi motioned at me with her hand. “Tomohiko, come here with me.”

I sat in front of her on my knees, reflecting her posture. She then turned to my grandparents. “I’m going to ask you to go to the other room, alright? I need to talk about some things with your grandson. I’ll handle things in here, so don’t come back in here unless I say you can, you hear?”

“Please take care o’ him!” my grandfather bowed.

“Tomohiko, don’t you worry!” my grandmother encouraged me as she left the room. “Ms. Akagi knows what she’s doin’. Just listen to everythin’ she says!” By the time they closed the door behind them, they both had tears in their eyes. I was still crying myself, so it didn’t phase me too much.

Once they were gone, Ms. Akagi scooted towards me until our knees touched. She took my hands in hers and silently stared at my face. For some reason, she felt almost like a parent to me at that moment. I felt like a child, and I couldn’t shake that feeling as she looked at me with her wise eyes. Despite being much smaller than I am, I was completely overcome by her strong presence.

“What do I do with you…” I had no reply to her question, and I stayed silent. She continued staring at me and spoke again. “Tomohiko. Are you scared?”

“…Yes.”

“I figured as much. You know, things can’t keep goin’ on how they are.” She looked gravely into my eyes.

“What?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m just talkin’ to myself.”

What does that even mean? 'Don’t worry about it’? Don’t worry about what? I was freaking out again, and I was barely containing my emotions.

“Uh. What should I do? I was hoping you could help me out here,” once I started talking, the words kept coming, “and I want to know what that thing is. And why did it attach itself to me? I’m ready for this to be over with. Is there anything you can do for me?”

“Tomohiko…”

“I haven’t done anything wrong!” The pity in her expression did not give me faith, and my desperation began bubbling up again. “I mean, yeah, I went to that one haunted place, but there were other people with me, it wasn’t just me! Why am I the only one who’s having all of this shit happen to them? Is it because I did the stupid mirror thing? Is that why? I don’t get it! Agh, why is this happening to me?!”

“Waaaaaah. Yah. Iiiiiiiieeeee. Waaahhh. Waaahhhhh. Yah. Yah. Iiiiiiiiiiiiieeee?”

I didn’t know what was happening, and I’m not even sure transcribing it entirely correctly because it was speaking so strangely.

“Waaaaahhhhhhh. Iiiiiiiiieeeee.” The voice sounded almost like a parakeet; it fluctuated up and down and was high pitched to the point of being annoying. As it repeated the same sounds over and over again, I finally understood what it was saying: *Why? Why? Why…?*

I looked at Ms. Akagi’s face, and she at mine, but her formerly kind expression had completely disappeared. It was as if she mentally checked out and wasn’t actually there anymore. From the corner of my eyes, I could barely tell that something else was in the room with us. I knew that I shouldn’t, but I turned to the left to see what it was. As I moved, blood began trickling down my neck.

That thing was standing there. It crouched over and stared at my face. I had no idea what was going on, what it was doing, or what Ms. Akagi was doing. I was in the middle of a temple sitting right in front of a nun, but somehow that monster was standing just feet away from me.

It looked just like it did the first night I saw it in my apartment. Its eyes were parallel with mine, and just like an owl it’s head flicked and twitched in a circular manner. It almost looked confused.

“Wah-iii? Wah-iiii? Wah-iii? Wah-iii?” Its bird-like voice grated on my ears as it questioned me over and over again.

I bet that this is the same voice Hayashi heard when he tried to banish it. Maybe it didn’t say the same thing to him, but he must have heard the same horrible impersonation of a human voice. In my fear, I stopped breathing. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. My lungs seemed thirsty for air, but all I could manage were tiny gasps as if my throat were being squeezed.

As I watched its erratic movements, I noticed its hand move slowly to its face. Its fingers settled on the charms pasted to its face and slowly began pulling them off. I knew that if the charms were removed, something bad would happen. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. My heartbeat intensified as its jawline became visible.

I was screaming at it in my head, begging for it to stop. My breath came out in ragged gasps, visions of what would happen if all of the charms were removed assaulted my brain, I was having heart palpitations so bad I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, and all I wanted—

*BANG!*

I practically flew in the air when the sound hit me. I thought my heart was going to burst it was so startling. Because of the way I had been sitting, I almost fell over, but I managed to right myself and turn around. I ran out of the room as if I were on autopilot. Despite my best efforts to run as quickly as I could, I stumbled as I moved because my legs had fallen asleep. I kept looking behind me to make sure I wasn’t being followed, and as I wobbled forward my head smashed into a wall. I was so scared I didn’t feel the pain at all. Blood ran into my eyes from my forehead, but I cared more about getting away from that thing than I did about where I was actually going.

The blood flowing into my eyes practically blinded me. I held my hands out, groping around for a door leading to the outside. No matter how far I moved along the wall, I couldn’t find a way out.

“You can’t leave yet!” Ms. Akagi cried out. I don’t know if she was talking to me or my family members in the other room. Regardless of who her target was, it was enough to make me stop trying to escape. I felt myself freeze in place and tried to force myself to take in the situation. Obviously I had no way of fully comprehending what was going on, but I forced myself to follow Ms. Akagi’s instructions.

When I finally looked around, I saw that my parents had been trying to go into the altar room. Ms. Akagi waited until she was sure I was listening to speak.

“I’m sorry, Tomohiko. Musta been scary for ya, huh? It’s alright now, ya can come back in here now.” She turned to the doorway where my family stood. “It’s alright. Just go back on in there and let me finish up.”

I could hear them talking behind the door, though I don’t know what was being said. I made my way back over to Ms. Akagi as I wiped the blood from my face. She handed me a handkerchief; it smelled nice as I used it to clean my face. I sat down and realized that the banging noise had actually been Ms. Akagi pounding her hands and not the spirit.

“Tomohiko. Did ya see it? And hear it?”

“I saw it,” I swallowed hard. “It kept asking me 'Why? Why?’ over and over again.”

Ms. Akagi’s expression once again became one that radiated kindness. I focused everything I had on remaining calm for the rest of the conversation. I had mostly given up on being logical, but I wanted to do what I could to make this easier for her.

“That’s right,” she nodded. “It did ask you 'Why?’ Why do you think it asked you that?”

“Uh… What? I don’t know. Am I supposed to know?” I had no idea whatsoever. If I had, I probably wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.

“Tomohiko… Were you scared?”

“…I’m still scared.” I looked away from her at that moment, somewhat ashamed.

“Why?”

“Well… This sort of thing isn’t normal for me. Ghosts and everything, I mean.” My brain felt like it was beyond all rational thought. I knew Ms. Akagi was trying to get at something, but it wasn’t clicking.

“Did it do anything to you?”

“Not really… Well, sort of. Maybe.” I tried to think of whether or not it was actually trying to cause harm to me, but I couldn’t be sure. “My neck was bleeding, and then it started to take off the charms that were on its face.”

“Yes, I remember. I saw it, too. But nothing else happened?” I didn’t have a reply to that answer. I couldn’t be sure one way or another, to be honest. “I know, son. It’s a hard situation to go through.”

“I’m sorry… I don’t really know if it tried to do anything to me.”

“That’s alright.” She began to explain everything in a way that made sense to me. Maybe saying that she lectured me would be a more appropriate term.

First and foremost, that thing was definitely some sort of spirit or monster. I asked her if it was evil, and she didn’t seem to have a clear answer. She got the distinct impression that it would be classified as a dark type of spirit, but she didn’t sense any sort of malice from it.

“Even if a spirit means no harm, this sorta thing can happen if they’re too strong,” she replied when I asked about what happened to me. “She—the spirit—was alone for a very long time. She went years wanting someone to speak to, to be touched by, to be seen by, and just to be noticed. Tomohiko, you may not know this, but you’re a good person. Lots of people think that about you. This spirit saw that in you, and when you noticed her, she was happy. Now, don’t take this the wrong way, but compared to this woman, you’re weak. That’s why you got scared, and that’s why your body reacts so strongly when she’s near ya.” The way she spoke was calming; she spoke slowly and used easy words, just as if she were talking to a child.

I still didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I thought that the spirit had to be evil, but here Ms. Akagi was standing up for it. She sensed my unease, though, and tried to put my fears to rest.

“Welp, we need to figure this thing out for ya, don’t we? This is gonna take a while, but I’m gonna help ya, okay?” Those words were all I needed to feel better. I felt true relief when I thought that I might finally be free of this mess. I’ll write what she told me here. I don’t think I will ever forget these words.

*If something is horrifying to look at, or if you don’t understand what it is,*

*remember that it feels pain just like you do.*

*Reach out and try to help.*

*That might be what it has been waiting for.*

Ms. Akagi began chanting sutras. Unlike what I initially expected, the chants were not to exorcise it; rather, she was guiding the spirit to rest.

That night, my head hurt like hell and my neck felt like it was burning, but I slept deeply. Ms. Akagi let me stay there for the night because she thought I was still acting funny.

I wanted to wake up early the next morning, but by the time I found Ms. Akagi in the compound she had already finished her morning prayers.

“Morning, Tomohiko! Go wash yer face and eat some breakfast. When yer done, we can go to the main temple.”

I don’t really want to give too much information, so I’m not going into great detail here. Like I said before, her sect of Buddhism has a long history and is mentioned in textbooks. There are people all over the country who follow the same belief system. Even though the beliefs are the same, because of geographic constraints both eastern and western Japan have a main temple. Because I was in Nagasaki, I was brought to the western counterpart.

Ms. Akagi gave me two reasons behind going to the main temple. The first was because I apparently have some sort of skill that needs to be strengthened; I can’t quite explain it myself, but she said it was important. Another reason was because we needed to conduct a memorial service for the spirit to assist with its transition to the other side. My grandmother was the happiest of us to hear this, and my father was less than thrilled because he still didn’t quite believe it.

“It’s fine,” I told him. “I’ll be back.”

When we arrived, a young man was waiting for us. He greeted Ms. Akagi, and we went to a small building off to the side of the main temple where we greeted more people who lived and worked at the temple. It seemed as if Ms. Akagi tried to stay humble even here. I later learned that she’s pretty renowned throughout the region and will go around to various temples throughout the year. She confided in me that it was quite lonely at times but she enjoyed making her rounds.

At first I felt like a burden to the other people at the temple; I was almost treated like a customer, but I did the same work everyone else did. I think Ms. Akagi helped convince the others to accept my presence.

While I was there, I realized how lucky I was. I met a woman who had been haunted by an evil, serpentine spirit for 40 years, and even her family members were ruined by the curse. She no longer had any relatives, but her line had once been a prominent clan of samurai. I had no idea that people could have it that much worse than me.

I don’t know if it was because of the work I was doing, the environment I was living in, or because of Ms. Akagi’s guidance before she left me there, but I began to regain my courage. That, of course, does not mean I wasn’t scared when I got the sudden feeling that the spirit was somewhere nearby. I was certainly still scared then.

One month after I arrived at the temple, Ms. Akagi returned.

“Well somebody’s lookin’ good!” She gave a wide smile as she approached me.

“It’s all because of you, Ms. Akagi…”

“And have you seen her since coming here?”

“No,” she didn’t have to tell me who she was asking about. “I think she passed over or went somewhere else. And anyway, this is a major temple, right?”

“How can you be so sure?”

I felt my face twitch, and she immediately tried to make up for what she said.

“I’m sorry, boy. I didn’t mean to scare ya, but ya gotta understand. There are a lotta people here who are in pain. It’s our job to help them, you see?” I got the distinct impression that the spirit that I encountered was included in that. “Tomohiko, I want ya to stay here a bit longer. You got more to learn.”

I did just as she said. I was still feeling traumatized by my experiences and I actually enjoyed being there anyway. Time seemed to flow more slowly there, and I appreciated the calm I felt.

I ended up staying there for three months total. Ms. Akagi didn’t return again until then. Not speaking with her did make me feel uneasy at times, and I started to feel a certain sadness. I was away from the sort of life I grew to love, and I began to feel unsatisfied in a way. When Ms. Akagi finally returned, I was ready to leave.

I got dressed in normal clothing and said my thanks to everyone at the temple. I walked out with Ms. Akagi at my side, excited to see my family again.

But at some point I noticed that Ms. Akagi was gone. She had just been right next to me, but she was nowhere to be seen. I turned around and saw that she was quite a ways behind me. Thinking I was walking too fast, I walked back to where she stood.

“Tomohiko, have you thought about stayin’ here?” Her eyes sparkled as she spoke. Her words made me feel as if she recognized the changes I had went through during my stay, and it made me happy. Still, I wanted to go home.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t live like these people forever. I really think that what they do is great, but it’s not for me.” I looked at her, trying to convey how serious I was.

“Let me rephrase it then. I don’t think you *can* leave.”

“What?”

“She’s still with you,” Ms. Akagi seemed to be looking at something that I couldn’t see. I felt my face twitch again.

It wasn’t for another two months that I was able to leave the temple, meaning I had been there for a full five months. I got the impression that my family wouldn’t be able to look after my things for much longer.

“I think yer alright now, son, but I want ya to come back once a month just in case,” Ms. Akagi said as we left the compound. Even she couldn’t tell if the thing was actually gone or if it had just gone into hiding.

It took a while, but I finally was able to readjust to my old life. My mom went through the trouble of cleaning things up at my apartment, and some of my things were moved to their house. She said that when she visited my apartment, it smelled like something had been burning and there were small bugs gathered in the center of the room on the floor. I didn’t have enough courage to go check it out myself right away, but when I did finally go only the smell remained. My mother said it was better that I didn’t see the bugs.

One of the things I was most excited about was getting my cell phone back. I hadn’t really cared while I was at the temple, but when I saw it I was glad to have it back. It had been almost half a year since I last checked it, and hundreds of texts and emails filled my inbox, many of them from Ogawa. He blamed the entire situation on himself—which he was apt to do—and he apologized I don’t know how many times. Many of his emails were giving suggestions about what I should try next—“I heard you can try such and such a thing,” and “I found a person who might be able to help you!” and other pieces of advice. He really seemed to want to help me as much as he could. My mom admitted that he even visited the house a few times.

Two days after my return, Ogawa called me. I could barely understand what he was saying because the background noise was so loud. He seemed to be at a party or something so I hung up on him. I sent him a text saying “I’m going to kill you!” and left it at that.

He replied the next day saying that he wanted to apologize. He felt weird calling me, but he wanted to come over and talk in person. I agreed and he showed up later that night. It was quite a long drive for him, and it seemed like he felt pretty bad for what had happened. He knew I didn’t want to go out at night, so he came to me instead.

When I let him in the doorway, I punched him twice. One was to make him stop blaming himself for what happened, and the other was for him thinking that talking about that sort of thing at a party wouldn’t piss me off. He seemed to accept the blows as forgiveness (they weren’t that hard, after all), even though the second one may have been overkill.

I told him everything that happened. We had a lot of fun and got scared together just like old times.

He also told me what happened the night Hayashi bailed on me. Apparently when he ran out of my parents’ house, it was really obvious that something was off about him. Ogawa and the other guy who had come with them both freaked out when they saw him, and when he dove in the backseat of the car they had no choice but to leave.

“If we refused or tried to stall, I think he might have done something to us.” Ogawa seemed ashamed to admit that to me. I guess that as they were driving towards the highway they stopped at a red light. Hayashi apparently took that opportunity to get out of the car and run away.

“He was acting really strange, man,” Ogawa seemed to be reliving the events as he spoke. “He would randomly start laughing, and he was shaking really bad. He kept saying these weird things like ‘I’m different!’ and 'I won’t do that!’ It scared the shit outta me.” This made me remember Hayashi speaking with the spirit that night. I tried to erase the images from my memory, but it didn’t work. I don’t blame them for not coming back to my parents’ house.

“I’m sorry for being such a coward,” he said and lowered his head. I forgave him easily. I asked what happened to Hayashi after that, but apparently nobody has heard from him since that night.

Ogawa got pretty pissed after all of this happened and started questioning the other guy. Apparently Hayashi was a guy down on his luck and stooped to fraud to get some money together. Ogawa’s friend introduced him thinking that my being haunted must be some sort of hoax. He also wanted a cut of the cash, of course. Ogawa offered to go after the guy for me, but since I’m the one that got myself into this whole mess, I told myself that I can’t really blame a guy for trying to help me. It’s not like I can expect anybody to actually know what I’ve been going through, and Ogawa did the best he could with the resources he had. I shouldn’t have expected him to jump into action and say “Well this is what’s going on, and here’s what we’re going to do to fix it.”

After that, I did as Ms. Akagi suggested and went to visit her every month for the first year. The following year I went once every three months. Ogawa also started to visit my house quite regularly, and he always made sure to talk to me both before and after I went down to Nagasaki. Two years after I had last seen the spirit, Ms. Akagi said she had good news for me.

“I don’t think ya need to worry about her anymore, Tomohiko. You should still come and visit every once in a while, though, ya hear? And don’t do anything weird again.”

Is it really over? I don’t know. Three months later Ms. Akagi passed away, so maybe I’ll never know. I wish I could have learned more from her, but right now all I can do is hope.

Two months after her funeral, I was finally able to start feeling normal again. I got to the point where I only occasionally thought about what happened. Other times I completely forgot about it because I felt so far removed from it with how normal my life was becoming. I no longer needed to talk about it with anyone; the only thing I really wanted was to live life as best as I could.

One day, I received a letter in the mail. It was from my grandmother. When I opened the envelope, I was surprised to see that it was actually two letters. I looked at the first, which was from my grandmother.

I looked at the other letter, which was signed by Ms. Akagi. I have no way of proving whether or not what she wrote is true or not, but I’m going to paraphrase what she said.

My hands were shaking as I read the letter. I started to feel sick and I broke out in a sweat. My heartbeat went into overdrive. What was I supposed to do? I thought I was free, but according to the letter…

I suddenly felt like I was being watched. But where could I run? If it was only hiding, couldn’t it just reappear right in front of me anytime it wanted?

Once the seed of doubt was planted, it was over. Nothing could be trusted. Was Ms. Akagi being hurt by that thing? Is that why she left me this letter when she died? Will everything go back to how it was? And what about Hayashi? Is he still being followed by it, too? I still want to know what it said to him. Was it different than what it said to me, maybe something more concrete? Is that why he went crazy? Ms. Akagi lied to me to keep me from worrying, but if it was bad enough to lie about… How bad was it?

Enough for her to worry about until her dying moments.

The worries kept piling up in my mind, and I was at a loss for what to do.

I don’t know anything else. It’s been two and a half years, and I still don’t know if I’m safe. I still don’t know why it happened, and I’m still searching for answers. Nobody I’ve spoken with has any idea about it, either. Whether I invited this thing to me unknowingly or it attached itself to me as the result of something I did, I don’t know. My only explanation is that it must have been some sort of accident.

But thinking of it as some sort of coincidence is too painful. Did I do something bad? Because I can’t think of anything I’ve done that warrants this sort of pain. It’s unfair.

That’s all I have to say. I know a lot of people out there think that ghosts are cool, and to you I say “Being possessed, targeted, or followed by something isn’t something to laugh about. It isn’t a joke. Because even if somebody tells you that it’s over, you can *never* let your guard down again, ever.”

Sorry, there is one more thing. There is one thing I need to apologize for. Well, a few things, actually. I lied a handful of times in this story. I only did it to make it easier to understand. I mean, there are still a lot of things I don’t understand about this myself, so please try and overlook my mistakes. I know some of it doesn’t make sense, so please forgive me.

But that’s not really what I want to apologize for. There is one major thing I lied about when I wrote all of this out, and it is a central part of the story. I doubt you would have noticed. I tried to be careful so you wouldn’t notice. I don’t think this story would have had the same effect if I hadn’t written it this way, though I’m sure it will explain some of the strange contradictions that came up throughout the story.

You’re probably going to be disappointed in me, but I really needed to tell somebody this story.

Because I’m Ogawa. And I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for the part I played in my friend’s demise…