Schmitt/Synopsis

## Biography

### Background

Schmitt was game reviewer who ran a YouTube channel called "Piece of Schmitt Games", where he would review games and rank them out of ten. Not all of his opinions were well received, however, as some of his viewers would often send Schmitt death threats whenever he made a rating they disagreed with, which Schmitt simply shrugged off.

### Aincrad Arc

#### Pre-Episode 5

On November 6, 2022, Schmitt got his hands on a NerveGear and a copy of Sword Art Online, a VRMMO set in a multifloored castle in the sky called Aincrad. He logged into SAO and was trapped in the game along with 10,000 other players.

After getting trapped in the death game, Schmitt became paranoid that his haters were also in the game and were going to make good on their threats to murder him. The most prominent threat in his mind was the threat made by a commenter named Johnny Black, who stated they would chop off his limbs, disembowel him, and ride him like a "meat toboggan". He eventually joined a Guild called the Golden Apple, along with Kains, Yolko, Grimlock, Griselda and three other players, with Griselda as their leader, and even though Schmitt annoyed them with his paranoia, all of them became great friends.

However, one unfortunate day, around October 2023, the Guild came upon a rare and valuable item, but were unsure of what to do with it. A meeting was held to determine whether they should sell or keep the item, and it was eventually put to a vote. Kains, Yolko, and Schmitt voted to keep the item while the rest of the Guild voted to sell it. Griselda then went into town to sell the item, but she never returned. It wasn't long afterwards that the Guild learned the terrible truth that Griselda had been murdered and the item was gone. Distraught over the loss of their friend and suspecting the killer was among them, as they were the only ones who knew about the item, the Guild placed a grave in Cross Hill on Floor 19 and soon disbanded.

Schmitt then joined another unknown Guild and would participate in Boss raids with the assault team. At some point, he met a player named Kirito, during which Schmitt apparently left quite the impression on him.

#### Episode 5

On March 6, 2024, the assault team are in Pani on Floor 56, discussing the raid of Sheeptar the Sheep King, which has already killed seven of the players. Schmitt attended the strategy meeting, but didn't participate in the discussion. Asuna, the Vice-Commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath, comes up with a plan to get close enough to aggro the Boss and have their archers lead him to the nearest village, where he'll be too distracted killing the NPCs to notice their attack. A player named Kirito disagrees with this plan, however, since some of his best friends have been NPCs, a fact that did not surprise Asuna. Before he can argue any further, Kirito hears the voice of Gary, the NPC that caused the deaths of his previous Guild. Seeking vengeance, Kirito brutally murders Gary as the other players watch in horror, except for Asuna. This results in the assault team changing the plan.

On April 12, 2024, Kirito and Asuna brought Schmitt to the Floor 57 town of Martin to meet with Yolko, who tells Schmitt that Kains had been murdered. Schmitt took this a sign that his haters were finally coming to kill him and proceeds to panic, informing Asuna how paranoid Schmitt can be, a fact that she isn't thrilled to learn. Schmitt explains his plight to Kirito and Asuna, referencing the meat toboggan in the process, a fear that Kirito exacerbates by detailing the aftermath. Yolko reassures Schmitt that his haters aren't coming to kill him, but warns him Grimlock may be after both of them to avenge Griselda's death, which makes Schmitt even more terrified. This makes Asuna realize that bringing Schmitt to Yolko probably wasn't a good idea. However, Yolko suddenly realizes something and rises from her seat, saying Grimlock couldn't have been the killer because the attack was in a Safe Zone. Kirito is relieved that Yolko seems to be making sense at first, but she suddenly starts screaming that Griselda's ghost has come back from the dead to take bloody vengeance on all three of her potential murderers, a statement that dumbfounds both Kirito and Asuna.

As Yolko sits on the window ledge and accepts her fate, Schmitt vows to keep living for his less murderous fans. Asuna tells the two friends to calm down, ruling out the notion that a ghost is the killer, as it's impossible for a dead player to still inhabit the game. Kirito agrees with this, but makes a sarcastic remark that it was obviously an assassination by the Mermaid Mafia paid in Leprechaun gold. Asuna tells Kirito to take things seriously, but Kirito refuses, still holding onto his belief that you can't die in a Safe Zone. However, as Kirito says this, Yolko is stabbed in the back and falls out the window. Kirito then runs toward the window and witnesses Yolko hitting the ground. Unable to see what happened next, Asuna asks Kirito if Yolko is alright, to which he states that he "doesn't like her chances", making Asuna and Schmitt realize that Yolko was dead now too.

#### Episode 6

Seconds after Yolko's death, Kirito looks out the window and sees a cloaked figure standing on the roof across from the hotel room. Believing them to be a suspect in Yolko's murder, Kirito jumps out the window to pursue the figure. But they manage evade capture, due to them using a Teleport Crystal to escape, and because Kirito misses the roof and falls through a window.

Kirito returns to the hotel room with the dagger used to kill Yolko and confirms the suspect got away. Now being the only assumed traitor of his former Guild left, Schmitt starts to believe Yolko's theory that the killer is Griselda's ghost and therefore it's only a matter of time until Griselda kills him too. As Schmitt frantically panics, Asuna asks Kirito what their next move is, only to find out that Kirito has left her alone with the completely traumatized Schmitt.

Terrified of being killed next, Schmitt goes to Griselda's grave and apologizes to her, stating he'll do whatever it'll take to make things right. Hearing this, a ghostly figure appears before Schmitt and asks what he's apologizing for. Terrified, believing the figure to be Griselda, Schmitt apologizes again and repeats his offer. A second figure then appears and asks the question again. Instead of confessing, Schmitt offers to kill others in order to stay alive, ranging from collecting scalps to crucifying people. Horrified by Schmitt's willingness to sacrifice others, the "ghosts" reveal to Schmitt that they are actually Kains and Yolko, who are in fact still alive. No longer concerned with Griselda for the moment, Kains asks Schmitt how many people he would've killed if they asked him to, but Schmitt dismisses the amount as unimportant.

However, as they're talking, Schmitt is stabbed with a throwing knife, which paralyzes him. Two members of Laughing Coffin then reveal themselves, with one of them holding Kains and Yolko at sword point while the one who attacked Schmitt inspects his prey. To his surprise, the Laughing Coffin member recognizes Schmitt from his YouTube channel, Piece of Schmitt Games, baffling Kains and Yolko that that's what Schmitt called his channel. The Laughing Coffin member then excitedly states that he's a huge fan of Schmitt's and reveals himself to be Johnny Black, the fan who threatened to kill Schmitt and ride his corpse like a meat toboggan. Johnny is flattered that Schmitt remembers and proceeds to introduce Schmitt to his "friends".

The Guild leader, Jeffrey, then emerges quoting Judges 15:16, stating that he's killed a thousand men with an ass' jawbone, which confuses his targets instead scaring them. This causes Johnny to break character and complain that, while "bible quoting serial killer" is a great motif, not every bible verse is as well-known or as scary as Jeffrey clearly thinks they are. Amused by his critique, Jeffrey challenges Johnny to think of a better verse than the one he just quoted. Johnny retaliates by quoting Mark 13:20, which talks about how "no flesh shall be spared", which shocks Jeffrey, making Johnny question if he's even read the bible. As Kains and Yolko watch on in confusion, Jeffrey tries to end the argument, stating that his word as Guild leader is final, but Johnny takes this opportunity to tell Jeffrey that they're religious quota might be holding the Guild back from their true potential, and that Jeffrey isn't good at it anyway. This insults Jeffrey, stating that everything he does is to the letter of "the J-Man's" teachings, and prepares to kill Schmitt, quoting an entirely fake bible verse in the process, much to Johnny's annoyance.

However, luckily for Schmitt, Jeffrey's assassination attempt is halted when he notices a horse galloping towards them, which causes Laughing Coffin to go on the defensive. At first, Kains is relieved that someone has come to rescue them, only to be disappointed when Kirito unceremoniously gets bucked off the horse. Kirito then chastises the horse for ruining his entrance, as it was almost perfect. Yolko tries and cheer him up, only for Kirito to snap back at her for patronizing him. After Kirito sends the horse on its way, Jeffrey asks Kirito what he wants, to which Kirito, in a batmanish tone, claims to be a member of "Aincrad PD" and demands Laughing Coffin to let Kains, Yolko and Schmitt go. Jeffrey refuses, as they have already been paid 50 bucks by their client.

Hearing the rather unimpressive amount of money given for the murder of three people, Kirito breaks out of character, stating that the Guild should cash in on their infamy, which Johnny completely agrees with, explaining that Jeffrey's persona always scares off the high paying customers. Kirito then suggests that Laughing Coffin should restructure their business strategy, advising them to tone down their religious theme, and spreading their appeal through ad campaigns, in a speech that shocks Kains, Yolko and Schmitt, and gives Johnny chills. Taking this advice under consideration, Jeffrey declares that the three friends are now Kirito's slaves to show his gratitude. As the Murder Guild leaves, Jeffrey quotes Ephesians 2:8 to Kirito, telling him that, "It is by grace you have been saved. Through faith... not by works". This quote impresses Johnny, only to become disappointed when Jeffrey states that Jesus told him to say it.

Though grateful for the save, Yolko asks Kirito why he came in the first place, to which Kirito tells her that he has finally solved the Safe Zone murders. Kirito reveals that Kains and Yolko had been exploiting a glitch that was unique to Floor 57, where if a player teleports while in freefall, the game's teleport animation would be replaced with the death animation, which is why Kains hung himself from a bell tower and why Yolko fell out the window. Yolko tries to justify their lies by reminding him that a ghost wouldn't obey the rules of the game, asking how he knew she was lying. Kirito explains that he didn't believe the ghost story they were telling, as he wasn't an idiot, which Kains agrees was a flaw in their plan, much to Yolko's dismay. Kirito also explains that he saw Kains use the Teleport Crystal while escaping, something a ghost wouldn't need. Having uncovered the method behind the "deaths", Kirito deduced that all of this must've been elaborate display to trick Schmitt, since he was the only remaining member who wanted to keep the item. Yolko once again tries to argue that Schmitt might've been in on it to scare Kirito off. This statement causes Kirito to burst out laughing, as Schmitt is too paranoid to be involved in a conspiracy, stating that a landmine handles pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people, an assertion that offends Schmitt. Kirito then concludes that the reason Kains and Yolko faked their deaths was because they thought Schmitt killed Griselda and were trying to scare him into confessing his guilt.

After Kirito is done unravelling the Safe Zone murders, Kains asks Kirito who he is, as this was the first time they officially met. Yolko admits she entangled Kirito in their web of lies, but when Kains asks her why she did that she couldn't think of an answer. Kirito then leaves Kains and Yolko to question Schmitt, who ask him how he could've killed Griselda for something as simple as money. Schmitt claims he had nothing to do with their friend's death, but neither Kains nor Yolko believe him. Kirito then comes out of nowhere and reveals that Schmitt is in fact not the killer, and he has solved Griselda's murder as well, much to Kains and Yolko's annoyance over how he revealed it. Kains isn't convinced that Schmitt is innocent, due to believing there weren't any other suspects, but Kirito proves otherwise, calling upon Grimlock.

Initially, Kains and Yolko are shocked to hear Grimlock's name, but the surprise wears off when he doesn't appear. After being summoned two more times, Asuna emerges with Grimlock, which annoys Kirito, as he planned out his grand reveal for Kains, Yolko and Schmitt. Asuna counters Kirito's snark by explaining that Grimlock wasn't very cooperative to meet with his former Guild mates. Kains is furious that Yolko involved yet another person, but Asuna points out that, if Yolko never friended her, they wouldn't have been able to save the three players from Laughing Coffin's attack. This makes Kains even more furious, as their plan could've been compromised, but Yolko claims she couldn't get the menu to delete her friend's list, something Kains can't believe she wasn't able do. After telling Kirito to stop laughing, due to her having similar problems, Asuna tells the two to focus on the fact that they just caught their friend's killer. Kains doubts that Grimlock is the culprit, because he was helping them catch Schmitt, but Kirito points out that it's not uncommon for killers to frame others for their crimes, a fact that makes Kains reluctantly hear Kirito out.

Kirito points out that Schmitt would have nothing to gain from Griselda's death, as the item would have been destroyed along with Griselda if he killed her. Kains argues that bandits extort items out of people all the time, but Kirito points out that Schmitt wouldn't have trusted a complete stranger with the task, nor would he have been skilled enough to defeat Griselda singlehandedly or smart enough to kill her with a sneak attack. Kains and Yolko realize that this is true, much to Schmitt's dismay. Kains then asks Schmitt why he was apologizing to Griselda in the first place if he wasn't guilty, to which Schmitt explains that, after receiving so many death threats as a game reviewer, he has "learned to just assume the position".

With Schmitt no longer a suspect, Yolko asks why Kirito suspects Grimlock, as he and Griselda were the perfect couple, but Kirito explains that's exactly what made Grimlock a major suspect. Kirito points out that, in SAO, married players have the unique ability of sharing inventory spaces, meaning Grimlock could've stolen the item at any time, and, with Griselda dead, the widower could have all the profits to himself. Grimlock only agreed to help Kains and Yolko because he hoped to cover up his crime by gathering the three of them together and hiring Laughing Coffin to kill them so they wouldn't discover the truth.

Hearing Kirito's explanation, Grimlock gets offended and suddenly interjects, saying that the item had nothing to do with why he killed Griselda. Grimlock then explains that he and Griselda were indeed a perfect couple and never had a single fight. However, their relationship changed when Griselda started becoming more independent, and became so focused on clearing the game that she forgot to make him dinner one night. Although Griselda promised to make up for it the next day, this shock to Grimlock's routine drove him to despair, believing that his wife betrayed him. Grimlock then became convinced that, in order to preserve the memory of who his wife used to be, he had to "kill the thing that took her place".

After hearing this revelation, everyone is shocked that Griselda died for such a stupid, sexist reason, even Kirito. Grimlock tries to have Kains and Schmitt back him up, but Kains tells him not to speak to them. Kirito then goes on a passionate speech about how love is something special that most people spend their whole lives looking for, and Grimlock wasted his own love over something as simple as a meal. Kirito then states that Grimlock never truly loved Griselda, he was just being possessive, before telling Grimlock that he disgusts him. Grimlock isn't fazed by this, however, and simply states that Kirito will understand what it's like to be in love someday. Before Kirito can retaliate, Asuna takes the opportunity to tell Grimlock his hat makes him look like a hipster, which makes the widower fall to his knees in despair, much to Kirito's dismay.

With Grimlock dealt with, Kains laments on the fact that they spent six months investigating only to think Schmitt was the culprit. Kains then tries to extend an olive branch to Kirito, thanking him for saving them, but Kirito ruins the moment by reminding the three friends that they're still technically his slaves, causing Kains to give up trying with Kirito. Now knowing who really killed Griselda, Kains, Yolko and Schmitt take Grimlock and start beating him to death behind a tree. The noise of this eventually gets so loud it almost ruins a moment between Kirito and Asuna. Schmitt then apologizes for this and promptly snaps Grimlock's neck, finally avenging Griselda's murder.

#### Episode 11

On November 7, 2024, Schmitt was summoned to Floor 75 to participate in the raid against the Floor Boss. After he arrived at the Boss Room door, along with the rest of the assault team, Heathcliff, the Commander of the KOB, attempts to deliver an encouraging speech to motivate the raiders, but his metaphors are sadly misunderstood by the less than smart players, including Schmitt. Heathcliff then compares the situation to herding cats, prompting a player to ask if Fluffles, the former Mafia leader, was at the raid, which Heathcliff denies. He then explains that, after rounds of torture, gladiatorial combat, and Pictionary, oddly enough, he managed to negotiate a truce with the King of Ashes, the leader of a group of bandits that were blocking progress in the game. However, as he's saying this, the King himself is suddenly heard leading his army down the corridor, ordering them to kill the "intruders" for crossing him. Heathcliff is confused by this at first, but quickly realizes that Kirito did something that broke the truce. Kirito denies this, despite the fact the King sent him a message stating he would "FLAY YOUR FUCKING SOUL!!!" and the fact that the King is heard demanding Kirito's head. With the King's troops coming to kill them, Heathcliff decides that they're going to enter the Boss Room now. With the door opening, Klein and Tiffany psych themselves up, reminiscing about a quest the two of them went on together on Floor 17. Hearing this, Kirito asks why he doesn't remember the quest, to which Klein explains that they have lives outside of him, which Kirito doesn't believe.

With the door finally opened, Heathcliff leads the player into the Boss Room, but they become confused when the Boss is nowhere to be seen. After a few seconds of players believing the Boss was a metaphor, Klein notices a giant centipede made of bones hanging from the ceiling. Having finally been noticed, the Boss, known as the Skull Reaper, descends from the ceiling and kills two of the players in one hit. The players are shocked by this, and Tiffany asks himself why he put all his points into bartering. Heathcliff then tries to rally the players to fight, despite the fact that the players who died were the raiders' tanks, but is caught off guard when the Boss suddenly dies. Despite Heathcliff's confusion, the other players see this as a victory. However, they soon realize that the door to the next Floor is still closed, meaning they're trapped in the Boss Room. Kirito comments that this is typical of the game.

The players then fall into despair, with a player named Tiffany pointing out that they can't even starve to death, which another player named Klein agrees would've been a mercy, as now they'll just have to wait until they die in the real world. Heathcliff then tries to lighten the mood, stating that, even though they're going to die, at least they're going to die playing an awesome game. This comment causes the players to rant about the many faults of the game, with Schmitt pointing out that their Teleport Crystals, one of their only lifelines, don't work half the time. Klein adds to this by pointing out that one of KOB tried using a Teleport Crystal to escape the room but ended up getting twisted into a Cronenbergian nightmare. Heathcliff gradually gets more and more annoyed by this, claiming that, while it has some "minor bugs", the game itself is groundbreaking technology, asking where the players' sense of wonder is. Kirito agrees with Heathcliff, saying that he loves the game despite its flaws. However, he also admits that the game is a mess, filled with terrible designs, stating that the only reason they all bought it was because it was the only launch title that made Tron a reality. This comment enrages Heathcliff the most, and he voices his frustration over how Kirito has suddenly seen Tron.

This comment causes Kirito to realize something, and he attacks Heathcliff, causing a protective wall to appear around him. Confused by this, Asuna asks Heathcliff what the wall is. Heathcliff tries to play it off as a lucky glitch, asking the players to subdue Kirito, but Asuna doesn't believe him, which Heathcliff accepts. Kirito gives Heathcliff the chance to come clean, but Heathcliff tells him to explain it, sarcastically stating that he doesn't want to ruin Kirito's "big moment". Asuna asks Kirito what they're talking about, to which Kirito explains that Heathcliff has been hiding a dark secret. He's Kayaba Akihiko, the creator of the game. However, the players don't know who that is, much to Kirito's annoyance. Kayaba then plays the Scanners clip he used on the first day of the death game, making them realize who he is. Relieved that he kept the clip tabbed, Kayaba asks Kirito what made him realize who he was, to which Kirito explains that Heathcliff was the only other person who referenced as many movies as Kirito himself. This makes Kayaba ecstatic, as it's the first time in years, possibly in his entire life, that anyone has understood him. Kayaba then tests Kirito's knowledge by rapid firing a series movie quotes, all of which Kirito gets correct, much to Kayaba's amazement and the shock of the other players.

Kayaba is then attacked by a member of the KOB, prompting him to paralyze all of the players except for Kirito, to prevent any similar acts of stupidity. Kayaba then rants about the players' stupidity, only for Kirito to start defending them, something Kayaba thought was uncharacteristic of him. While Kirito agrees that the players can be idiotic, using Schmitt as an example, much to his dismay, he points out that at least they were willing to put their lives on the line, which is better than what Kirito can say about Kayaba. He then proceeds to mock Kayaba until he asks Kirito what he wants, prompting Kirito to tell Kayaba that he would like a rematch to their previous fight. Irritated, Kayaba agrees to the fight, as stabbing Kirito in the chest sounds therapeutic, and asks for Kirito's terms. Kirito tells Kayaba that it'll be a fight to the death, one where Kayaba won't use any of his GM abilities, and if Kirito wins, Kayaba will end the death game and let everyone go free. Hearing this, Kayaba is a little shocked that Kirito wants to end things 25 Floors early, but Kirito provokes him by asking, "What's wrong, McFly? Chicken?". Delighted by Kirito quoting Back to the Future II, Kayaba agrees to the fight, believing that he'll defeat Kirito easily.

Kirito then fights Kayaba, but his sword breaks during the battle, leaving him open to attack. However, just as Kayaba delivers the finishing, Asuna jumps in the way and seemingly dies. Kirito then tries to retaliate with Asuna's rapier, but his attacks are too weak and easily avoidable. Kayaba then disarms Kirito and stabs him in the chest. However, Kirito refuses to just die, and manages to stab Kayaba with Asuna's rapier, technically defeating him. The two players then die, prompting Kayaba to purge the game from the server and log the players out. Schmitt was most likely freed from SAO, along with all of the other players.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 Episode 5
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 Episode 6
3. ↑ Episode 1
4. ↑ Episode 11