Children of the Cornball - Part Two

Poster for this Live Show and Camp Crystal Light

> "*If you set this thing on fire and I have to wrestle it while it's flaming, I'm going to be so pissed.*"
> ― Pollo del Mar
>
>

**Children of the Cornball - Part Two** is the twenty-second episode of Queens of Adventure: Legends. It is the second half of the most recent live show featuring the San Francisco cast, and was recorded at Oasis. It features the conclusion of the Cornball festival, where shady queens come for the party.

## Summary

*Previously: A team of queens from House Aubergine had reached the finals of the annual Cornball competition between the Great Houses. However, they found the team from House Effluvia were up to some shady antics, and just before a brief intermission the queens had to fight off a mannequeen.*

 Score Check: One point separates House Aubergine and House Effluvia

The emcee gets things back on track. He announces the surprise challenge: Surprise LipSyncs. Each queen must lip synch to a song with no forewarning. House Effluvia continues to laugh as Pollo del Mar, then Erika Klash, KaiKai Bee Michaels, and lastly Kitty Powers take their turns at the challenge. The judges are perplexed by the song choices, but award House Aubergine five points. They also award five points to audience member Madeline, who knew perfectly lipsynced one of the songs.

The judges determine the lipsynchs were tampered with, and disqualify House Effluvia. Their team's tiefling steps forward, declaring no one will win the Cornball if they cant. Shade pulls all the drag paraphernalia together into monstrous humanoid forms. One of them towers over House Aubergine's team and they are in battle again.

Erika uses *distracting strike* with her longbow. The monster explodes with wigs and other drag ephemera. KaiKai casts *firebolt*, despite Pollo's protest against lighting the thing she is going to wrestle on fire.

The drag golem is particularly susceptible to fire, but lumbers forward, and slashes against Pollo, pushing her into a barbarian rage again. She remembers she has weapons, and uses her great axe against it.

Melba von Toast runs through the fray, saying she has an idea and to keep holding it off.

The monster reaches towards Kitty, who remains stuck to the floor from their previous battle. It tries to engulf her in dark shade, but she evades with some (possibly) seductive wriggling on stage. Then she inspires Pollo with a poem about her. The fire reaches the stage, hurting everyone, nearly knocking out Kitty.

But Melba has queued up a song, and asks all queens to join together so the lip synch can dispel the shade. All the inspiration the queens had gathered draws all the drag houses together. Their performance causes the monster to burst, covering everyone with drag.

A deep voice booms "Fools, you've failed me!" and drags Team Effluvia into the darkness.

The wizard judge declares House Bumblicious, congenial queens. Then he turns to House Aubergine and declares them the winners of the Cornball. The crowd cheers. Melba hoists their mole mascot aloft.

The queens stand triumphant on top of the pile of drag paraphernalia.

 Characters

#### Party

* Erika Klash - half-orc fighter
* KaiKai Bee Michaels - high elf wizard
* Kitty Powers - half-elf bard
* Pollo del Mar - goliath barbarian

#### NPcs

* Bugbear emcee
* Melba von Toast
	+ Darcy the House Elf (mole)
* Team House Effluvia
	+ Claire DeRunway - tiefling in ill-fitting red dress
	+ Jenna Sais-Quoi - elf in evening gown with Russian accent
	+ Holly Mackerel - Half-orc with peg leg and pirate hat
	+ Busty Stringcheese - Blonde Dwarf in cow costume
* Team House Bumblicious
* Mysterious Voice

#### Live Show Roles

* DM Matt
* Dice Boy Andrew
* Portia Gaysa - Door Duty
* Audience volunteer - Scorekeeper
* Audience Member Madeline - LipSynch expert

## Episode  Notes

### Lore

* A Shady Force corrupted a group of queens from House Effluvia.

### Inspiration Earned

* Kitty - for tooting on her flute
* Pollo - "I dont be-weave it"
* Audience - For an inaudible comment
* Audience - For their screaming on cue
* KaiKai - for noticing a good drag name
* DM Matt - for shading Pollo for speaking out of turn (awarded by KaiKai)

### Memorable Quotes

* "Sorry. Hashtag wrong show!" - Pollo del Mar
* "House Effluvia is laughing at you from the wings." - "So are we!" - DM Matt and Pollo del Mar
* "Miasma!? Sounds like a drag name!" - KaiKai Bee Michaels
* "Pollo del Mar, flaming? That's unthinkable." - DM Matt
* "You're gonna be my +1 baby." - KaiKai Bee Michaels
* "We're still dealing with that psychic damage. We're still emotionally shook." - Erika Klash
* "...with a club made out of eye lashes." - "So an exact replica of Pollo del Mar?" - "Where was that good of a read when it was your turn to read, bitch?" - DM Matt, Erika Klash, and Pollo del Mar
* "I'm going to go into a barbarian rage with me... moderately acceptable axe." - Pollo del Mar
* "I quite enjoy being engulfed, actually." - Kitty Powers
* "There was once a barbarian named Pollo del Mar, an empress from a far away land called... San Francisco. Here combat moves were second to none, but no man brave enough to take her hand. Will she ever find love, no one can tell. The only advice I can give her is this: Try to do something about that barbarian smell, and instead of a piledriver, try a kiss darling." - Kitty Powers
* "I feel inspired. I'm going to be nicer for seconds." - Pollo del Mar
* "We should have hired a cleric and gotten rid of this bloody barbarian!" - Kitty Powers
* "That's at least a $75 value per person. Drag is way more expensive than you think." - Erika Klash

### References

* Russian Interference
* Dave and Busters
* 10s, 10s, 10s across the board
* Oprah Winfrey
* "Being congenial has never been important to us anyway" - Designing Women

### Please Welcome to the Stage

* Miasma St James (Cravasse Pendavis Dupree Labagia)

### Name That Tune

* "June is Busting Out All Over" - Leslie Uggams (surprise lip sync)
* "Buenas Aires" - Patti LuPone (surprise lip sync)
* "Not Getting Married Today" - Stephen Sondheim (sung by Madeline Kahn) (surprise lip sync)
* "Rural Juror" - 30 Rock (surprise lip sync)
* "22" - Taylor Swift
* "Dance Apocalyptic" - Janelle Monae (finale lip synch)

## Behind the Queens

* This episode was originally released as the sixth bonus episode in November 2018.
* A recurring bit in this episode saw Pollo del Mar attempting to get rid of her stockpile of inspiration tokens despite having successful rolls or already having advantage.
* During the mid-show break, DM Matt again plugs the Pastel Gore live shows featuring many of these queens at twitch.tv/cashmonetdrag.
* House Effluvia's team members were later seen in the World of Wonder competing against Bootie and the Hofish. Although this may have been an alternate version of the group.

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - Part One -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - Part One -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two
**Hang Ten**: Part One -- Part Two
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: Part One - **Part Two**
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two