Into the New Year Story Arc

INTO THE NEW YEAR STORY ARC

(Extracted from Wildflowers Manga Panels #281-#398)

One day during the Christmas / New Year holiday season, Tony begins tutoring a new high school student named Nathan. Nathan needs help in understanding gender theory and sexual orientation psychology. Tony explains it very well, so that Nathan says that he now understands; gender identity and sexual orientation are completely separate concepts, with little or no overlap. At the end of the session, Nathan shows his supposed new found knowledge by saying that Tony is a "tranny", isn't he ? ("Tranny" is a derogatory term for 'transgender person', used as an insult.) Nathan then reveals that he is into "shemales" (A English slang term for someone who is a gay man, masquerading as a women, who is filmed for porn DVDs.) Tony is quite shocked and surprised, telling Nathan that he didn't really learn anything at all, did he ? Tony quickly leaves.

At the next therapy session with Dr. Julie Bernt, Tony mentions that he is upset and uncertain by what happened with the last tutoring student. The student told Tony that he was 'turned on' by "shemales", and was also attracted to Tony, even though Tony is not a "shemale". Tony tells Dr. Bernt that he is so repulsed that he is going back to being a 'real male' named "Tony". "Tony" right now is acting very stubborn and self-defeating, therefore, Dr. Bernt becomes angry (a real rarity for her), and orders **"TONI ANDREWS"** (his girl name) to go to their bedroom, RIGHT NOW ! In about an hour, Lexi happens upon "Tony" hiding in his bedroom sitting in a corner with the lights off. "Tony" tells Lexi that the doctor won't let him leave.

Just then, Dr, Bernt calls out for "Tony" to come with her. Back in the therapy room, Dr. Bernt beings a mental exercise with "Tony", asking---

" 'Tony!' Tell me something. Do you honestly believe what you told me about going back to being a 100% male ?"

'Tony' replies, "I don't know.....I....."

"Either you do or you don't, 'TONY'! 'TONY', your masquerading male persona isn't who YOU actually are !", barks out Dr. Bernt.

"wh....why do you keep.....keep calling me.....", mutters "Tony".

"Calling you 'Tony'? Because doing that is punishment ! Because that fake male person who you wear as a mask is who you seemed to be so focused on ! Isn't that right, 'TONY !!!"

"Please.....stop......", bleats "Tony".

Dr. Bernt screams, ***" 'TONY' ?!? ISN'T THAT YOUR NAME 'TONY' ???"***

***"MY NAME IS TONI !!!!!!!"***, screams back Toni, as she begins to cry profusely (Toni is a girl's name).

Dr. Bernt is silenced, as she also begins to quietly cry. Whether or not Toni realizes it, she has just done, for all intents and practical purposes, a "Coming Out" to herself, acknowledging to herself that she has a female Gender Identity, a 'girl inside' herself all this time. At this point in the therapy session, Lexi barges in and interferes with the session. She tells Julie what she just did was shocking, to say the least. Julie says yes it was terrible. However, Toni is still very torn between the two gender components. She was really hurting, and that hurt was turning rapidly into self-hate. Self-hate in not something to be taken lightly. Lexi says that still wasn't right to do what Julie did. Toni tells Lexi that Julie was right in what she did. I was getting wrongly influenced by what other people are telling me, like that freaky student. I know who I am, or at least who I am going to be; a girl named Toni. It's just hard to remember that sometimes. Lexi and Toni are now holding hands. Julie reminds them that she is going to do what must be done to keep both of them safe and sane.

A few days later, Toni is with Sophie. Both are outside sitting on a park bench. Sophie asks Toni why they are so 'down' lately ? Toni says that the last few days have been rough. More of this me vs. me thing. What do you mean ? Toni says that she keeps forgetting that she is a girl named 'Toni'. And when Toni is finally recognized as the girl inside, she gets pushed down and censured. Sophie gets up, addresses Toni, and points her finger at her. Sophie says that if Toni can't or won't fix that, she, Sophie, or Lexi, will fix it for you, whether you like it or not. You are not going to go around miserable and defeated all the time; you are going to start paying attention to the girl inside of you !

One of the 'fixes' for Toni came as soon as the next weekend. Lexi and Toni are out holiday shopping at the mall. They both come upon the display window of the local Goth clothing store, showing an ornate, impressive, medieval, formal woman's full-length wedding style gown in royal dark purple. The gown catches Toni's eye, but they immediately dismiss it from consideration, telling Lexi that they would never be able to wear that, let alone wear it out in public. Lexi 'catches the drift', and tells Toni to stay right here, and she will be back shortly. Actually, Andrea comes out of the store, and asks Toni to step inside. Andrea orders the salesperson to bring that medieval dress in Toni's size, and orders Toni into the dressing room. Inside the dressing room, Toni is puzzled and perplexed, so Andrea hands them off to Lexi, as she has to get back to work before her lunch break ends.

    Toni tries on the gown, but won't let anyone into the dressing room to see it. When Toni finally exits the dressing room, the dress is put into a shopping bag, and given to Toni. About this time Sophie per chance comes by, and want's to know what is in the bag ? "Toni's 'fixins'!"

The following Monday, Toni is alone at home. They double and triple check that the home is unoccupied. Then Toni locks the door to the bedroom. Going to the mirror in the bedroom, they apply the Goth style feminine makeup. Then slowly and carefully, Toni tries on the dress. If fits like a charm, and they admire themselves in the mirror. But the pleasure is short lived, as about an hour later, Toni's iphone buzzes, telling them that they have a tutoring appointment in half an hour. It was fun while it lasted !

The next Saturday, Toni and Andrea are invited to the downtown nightclub again. The metal band, Dethtapus, will be performing again. Andrea is dressed in her usual Goth outfit, and Toni is wearing the medieval maiden's dress, out in public no less ! Yet moments before the show was to start, the lead male singer announces that they have somehow just lost their voice. Jamie, the lead bassist, orders Toni to get on stage and sing. After all, Toni already knows just about all of the songs that the band plays. Toni is quite taken aback, but nevertheless, gets up on stage, as Jamie announces the lead-off singer, a girl named "Annie". 'Annie', dressed as the Goth Maiden, belts out 'one helluva show'. She goes on for several songs, until she sees someone in the audience this evening. Horror of horrors ! It is their brother, Bill. Annie croaks out the last of a song, and quickly leaves the stage, to thunderous rounds of applause. Annie goes silent all the time after her stage performance, as if they had amnesia. The rest of the night, Toni is referred to as "Annie'. The new girl's name seems to have stuck. At the end of the nights activities, Andrea leads Toni/Annie back to their home. The next day Toni goes back to staying at the Bernts.

On the day before the Christmas holiday, Toni is with the Bernts. In the morning, Sophie comes visiting. Julie and Lexi greet Toni as "Annie", surprising Sophie. What gives ? Lexi explains; Toni had quite the night as she got to sing on stage at the nightclub. Jamie, the Dethtapus guy, introduced her as "Annie" ! So now the name kinda stuck. Is this okay with Toni ? 'Toni' says that it really is. "Toni" is too close to *"Tony"*, a name that she has come to hate anyway. And "Annie" is.....at least it begins with the same initial as her last name of Andrews. Sophie picks up on this name change immediately, and tells Annie that is her valid name, at least for the rest of the day.

As to Annie's holiday present from Lexi, Annie is told to go to her bedroom with a package, and not come out until she is done changing. Soon, Annie holds up a pair of yellow girl's panties, and loudly says through the closed door that she can't wear these clothes. Sophie answers, and shouts back through the door that girls wear girl's underwear ! No exceptions ! You can and you will wear proper girl's clothing. After a while, Annie says through the door that she is done, but she can't come out. So Lexi and Sophie say that they are coming in ! The two girls are speechless at the wonderful sight of Annie dressed properly for the first time. Finally, Sophie softly utters, "Welcome Home, Annie !" (Annie's holiday gift was a girl's white training bra and white with yellow trim panties with a yellow flower in the center, a medium blue stretch sweater, and a beige, tight-fitting pencil skirt, hemline just above the knees, and a blue hairband with a tiny bow.) Lexi asks Annie how she feels ? Annie candidly answers that she now feels ... normal ..... like ..... like this outfit is all okay. She doesn't feel weird like she thought she would. Lexi leads Annie out of the bedroom to the front room, where both Dr. Bernts are. Lexi presents---"Annie" ! After a long silence, Julie hugs Annie and softly says, "Welcome Home, Annie !" And to cap off this special day, late in the afternoon, Sophie gives Annie a kiss, Annie's First Kiss ever !

Next day, Boxing Day in Canada, Lexi gives Annie a alphabet necklace, with only one letter on it, the letter "A". The necklace is meant to be a 'touchstone', to be worn every day and not taken off, to remind the wearer that they are a girl named "Annie" ! The rest of the letters for the necklace will be awarded to Annie as she completes various phases of her transition from male to female. Also for Boxing Day, Jamie, the bassist, buys and gives Annie an ultra-feminine, clingy purple sweater with a 'V' neckline, and a purple headband.

A run-in with Annie's older brother Bill sorta spoils New Year's Eve. Bill, who wants his younger sibling to return to being a "male", gives them a real smack-down, as well as ripping the necklace off of her neck. Annie takes it all without much defense, and is able to retrieve the broken necklace from the floor, although she now 'looks like a bowl of raw hamburger' due to her injuries. Annie returns to the Bernts home, where Lexi tends to her injuries. Early that evening, Annie dresses in her medieval maiden gown to go with Andrea to the New Year's Eve party at the nightclub, and to sing with Dethtapus. Lexi covers Annie with tons of makeup to hid her bruising. The place will be dark, so no one should be able to notice.

In back of the nightclub's building, Annie and Andrea come upon to male teenage delinquents, who are angry that the bouncer already had kicked them out of the nightclub for being underage and having fake I.D.'s. They not only throw homophobic slurs at Annie, but decide to give her a smack-down, too. Andrea flees, but Annie is not so fortunate. She is cut up and bruised again, with her maiden's gown torn in several places, with part of her yellow panties showing. In a daze, Annie wanders into the back of the nightclub. But with one look at her, Jamie says that he will cancel tonight's performance and take Annie to the hospital. But Annie will hear nothing of that ! NO WAY !!! Annie, already looking like hell, like she just went through the Toad Wars, grabs the microphone, and heads for the stage. She tells Jamie to assemble the band, and she will be the lead-off singer. Jamie can tell by Annie's mind, heart, and spirit that it is useless to argue with her. Jamie tells the others in the band that 'the show must go on' ! When the curtain goes up, a cut, bruised, blooded, and a very profound "Bloody Maiden" in her royal attire belts out her songs with unbelievable passion and gusto. By the time the last song is finished, Annie is barely able to stand, and hobbles to backstage, where Andrea is waiting for her. She collapses into Andrea's arms, as an EMT with a medical kit comes in through the back door of the nightclub. Annie is cleaned and patched up as well as can be expected, and still refusing to go to the hospital, is taken to P's home. 'P' is the female drummer of the band. Once there, Annie, still wearing her Bloody Maiden outfit, is helped onto the couch in the front room, and promptly falls asleep. She briefly wakes up in time to hear the New Year's Countdown, then passes out once again into a dreamless sleep. The next morning, New Year's Day, about the time Annie wakes up and is groggy and painful, the CBC Canadian news channel on the cable TV breaks in with a news short---

".......images taken of the concert in the downtown nightclub show the unknown woman now officially dubbed, "The Bloody Maiden". Police currently have no leads as to just who the young woman was, as the unnamed victim refused to identify herself, and refused to be taken to the hospital for medical treatment......."

Later that morning, Dr. Dan Bernt collects Annie from P's house, and takes her to his home. Dr. Bernt insists that Annie go to the hospital, but Annie, now calling herself "Tony" runs out of the house into the cold, chilly New Years Day air. Eventually, they are found by Sophie on the hill overlooking the city, the same hill wherein the two dated one night last summer. Sophie and "Tony" spent quite some time talking and trying to figure things out in the cold, fridged air. When "Tony" begins to fall victim to frostbite and violent shivering, Sophie quietly calls Lexi, and Julie comes to collect "Tony" / Annie and take her back to the Bernts home. So ends New Year's Day.

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After each swim competition at Bishop McNealy Jr. High School, there almost always is a party to honor all the swimmers who did their best, win or lose, at the swim meet. Sometimes the rival school is also invited to the party as a courtesy gesture to foster good sportsmanship. A Saturday night party had been planned for both Bishop McNealy and William Aberman after their swim meet. In a surprise decision, "Tony" attends the party, something that they rarely do. "Tony" is wearing feminine Goth makeup, but dressed in male drab; black shirt and black pants. However, several of the female cheerleaders from W/A also attend the party, all dressed in their red cheer costumes. One of the W/A cheerleaders recognizes 'Toni' from a previous encounter, and says that they told her everything about themselves, including being a male to female transgender teen. 'Toni' acknowledges that they have a girl inside, but is otherwise puzzled as to meeting this girl sometime earlier. Yet, the cheerleader calls out to the other cheer girls to give the 'go ahead'. For what ? 'Toni' is hustled into an empty room along with 3 or 4 of the cute, pretty, red costumed cheerleaders. What gives ? One of the girls says that they have to 'get Toni ready' for the party. Another girl says that this will be so much fun !

In 'quick as a wink', Toni is dressed in the W/A red cheerleader's costume, and has bright red lipstick applied to her lips. Why, this Toni is now prettier than half of the other cheerleaders ! Now on to the party ! Toni objects, saying that she can't go out there, as every time she tries to go out dressed as a girl, it usually ends terribly. But with this long-haired, red colored wig, nobody will recognize you ! One girl positions the wig upon Toni, and presto, a new cheerleader never before seen in public is born ! Toni and the rest of the cheer girls leave the room and head for the main ballroom where the party is just getting started.

Within the first hour, a high school boy approaches Toni, and introduces himself as 'Stewart'. He offers to get Toni a drink, and a nervous Toni agrees. An awkward conversation follows, with Stewart eventually asking Toni what she likes to do ? Toni is perplexed, until she says that she likes to sing. So the two go over to the corner of the room that has a karaoke booth set up, and taking up the microphone, Toni begins to sing. She runs through a couple of popular songs. WOW ! Stewart asks Toni if she is actually "Annie", who sings at the downtown nightclub ? One and the same ! Stewart slyly leads Annie to behind a curtain, wherein he sneaks a kiss. Unfortunately, Annie's wig begins to come off. Stewart picks up on that immediately, and barks out---

"Wait ! That isn't even your real hair ! HOLY COW ! YOU'RE NOT EVEN A ...... real......girl......"

Annie slaps her hand across Stewart's mouth, and points the finger of the other hand directly at his face, saying---

"You listen, and you listen REAL GOOD ! ***I AM A GIRL !!!***  You thought I was pretty, and that's because I AM ! You were attracted to me, because it was a case of a YOUNG MAN being attracted to a YOUNG WOMAN ! Just because some things about me are less than ideal, and my body is not perfect, that doesn't change ANYTHING !!!"

Annie takes her hand from Stewart's mouth, as he says---

"You are kinda right about that. Looking at you right now, I have to confess that I kinda like you. Like...a lot ! But why are you doing this ? Are you....you know......gay ?"

Annie retorts, " I'm not gay ! I'm a girl. **A. GIRL. INSIDE.** And I can't believe that I have forgotten about that for so long a time. You understand, don't you ? You won't tell anyone tonight about me being perceived as a boy, will you ? I'm just a regular girl, wanting to enjoy the party."

Stewart replies, "Annie ! With the way that you sing, not a soul would believe me if I told them you were supposedly a boy !"

About this time one of the cheerleader girls pulls back the curtain to see what is going on with these two. Stewart and Annie seem to have just finished up kissing again. Stewart coyly explains---

"This is SO NOT what it looks like......."

(The End of the *Into the New Year* Story Arc)

Afterthought---Toni / Annie has not only earlier done a private "Coming Out" to themselves as an authentic girl in their heart and spirit, but tonight, at this party, Toni / Annie has just done a *public* "Coming Out" to others that they are an authentic girl in heart and spirit. Both are major steps in transitioning.

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(To be continued with the next story arc........)