Shane

Normal picture of Shane

**Shane** *(or* **Nayota***)* is a member of Cancer Caw.

## Shitting

Shane's gut is known to work at 100% capacity at all times, which food is boiled down for all of its nutrients and is absorbed with absolute efficiency. Despite this, inexplicably, waste is still produced. The consistency of his shit tends to vary, and usually happens in the middle of a conversation. Shane tends to be gone anywhere between 20-30 minutes, and will inevitably detail how it was. However, it has been increasingly common for Shane to pardon himself for a shit, and end up passing out right after it from the migraine it brings on. These are incapacitating, and ruins Shane's ability to open his eyes and game with his bros.

The fact that Shane becomes unconscious after shitting has lead some to believe that Shane is, in fact, not operating at 100% efficiency, but rather something clearly below that. Alleged audio clips exist of Shane expressing the Novelty of having what he refers to "Normal Shit" which gives credence to the doubt.

## Cancer Sprees

Since Shane figured out how to use stereo mix as a microphone back in the pre-historical Skype days, he has been ruining the Caw's day with so-called "Cancer Sprees," where Shane takes his favorite audio clips and spams them in the voice call for varying lengths of time. During Cancer Sprees, Shane often makes use of audio-editing program Audacity to change properties of the audio; these changes can including lengthening the audio, increasing its speed, adding echoes, paulstretching, playing the file backwards and forwards, reverb, and so on. Cancer Sprees usually only last a few minutes, but have been known to go for hours when Shane is bored and not playing game.

## WeTeachUHow2

Shane is the Creator of WeTeachUHow2. The videos portray a character with an unabashed, yet misguided confidence in instructing the viewer through a variety of different tasks. The character is in many ways an inverse to the character of King Midas, as everything he touches seemingly turns to shit, though often resolves to believe that he has, indeed, taught the viewer something. Shane's claim to internet fame is a video titled "How 2 face your fears", and currently sits at 4.6 million views. Unfortunately, all of the fans of Shane's channel are all children, and have taken to ripping the audio from the aforementioned video to pair it with slideshow animation renderings of Five Nights at Freddy's characters acting out the video. It is thought that Shane intrinsically fears that the video might be his greatest success in life.

## Getting his day ruined

It is known that Shane does not have good days, as there is always an agency of chaos that will eventually ruin any kind of good mood that he is in. Going to Work is a major contributor in ruining his day, and conversely, his life. A stream of old boomers and Somalis that can't operate a car wash tirelessly come in, day after day, to break down his resolve. When his shift is over, Shane often chooses to have his day further ruined by playing competitive games with his friends. Upon the team always losing the pistol round, Shane becomes tilted, and must watch as Max top frag, despite his aim being better than Max's. Shane will continue to ruin his own day by talking to Dru, before going to bed after the ensuing migraine. Often times, Shane wakes up, and his day is immediately, and inexplicably ruined. The function for this action is suspected to be chronic depression.