Shut Up and Eat/Transcript

**DIARY:** All four flights have left for Bangkok, Thailand. As of now, it's only a few minutes before flight number one lands, and lets The Barflies, Green Party, and Nursing Home teams start their race for first place.

**DIARY:** Which team will strive for success, and which team will choke on their own elimination? Find out on this episode of *Town Attack*!

***Intro opening.***

**DIARY (VO):** Flight number one has just landed in Bangkok, and the clue is waiting for the teams just outside the airport.

**MASCARA:** It's a singled-out challenge. It says, who wants to obey no rules of the road?

**DIARY:** A singled-out challenge requires that one member of each team complete the challenge. Each team can do a maximum of 8 throughout the race. And in Bangkok, no motive transportation is scarier than the one with no seatbelt, the tuk-tuk.

**DIARY:** For this challenge, one member must drive their own tuk-tuk to the Grand Palace, where their next clue awaits.

**BONSAI:** No traffic laws are enforced, so no rules apply! What a way to get around.

**CACTUS:** Alright, you can drive.

**BONSAI:** Wooo!

**CORK:** So, do you want an escort to the palace?

**MASCARA:** Nice try, but when I have the option to ignore the rules of the road, I'm gonna take it. So hop on, Cinderella.

**CORK:** This doesn't seem very safe.

**MASCARA:** So what? It's just like riding a motorcycle.

**CORK:** I can't find a seatbelt!

**MASCARA:** Not my problem, hold on to something!

**CACTUS:** Did they just pass us?!

**BONSAI:** Why, I think they did!

**CACTUS:** Drive, right now!

**KETTLE:** Look, Ol' Oakey! A wild clue appeared!

**KETTLE:** Oh, it's a driving challenge. Do you wanna do it, Oakey?

***Screen zooms in to Ol' Oakey's close up.***

**KETTLE:** Nice enthusiasm!

***Kettle throws Ol' Oakey on the driver's seat.***

**KETTLE:** Go, Oakey!

**MASCARA:** Ugh! Why these cars not moving?!

**CORK:** Just give it a minute.

**MASCARA:** There's no time to waste! We don't even have a clue on where we're going.

**CORK:** Well, why don't we take this time to-

**BONSAI:** Mascara, we're coming for you!

**CACTUS:** Just give us a few hours, then we'll *Town Attack*!

***Bonsai looks at Cactus rather unamused.***

**MASCARA:** No, now we're gonna lose!

**CORK:** Well, why don't we take this time to-

**MASCARA:** Wait, we can just ignore all the rules, right? Let's just drive on the sidewalk!

**CACTUS:** You've got to be kidding me!

**BONSAI:** I'm already done with the other teams.

***BONSAI:*** There's no reason to ignore street laws.

***CACTUS:*** If we are going to win, we are going to win fairly, and *lawfully*.

***BONSAI:*** Yeah, they don't really sound like the best idea, now that I think about it.

**DIARY (VO):** Flight number two carrying the Band Geeks, Westerners, and Team 80's is now landing. And they're going to drive fast to some of the teams on flight number one.

**LEGWARMER:** Hey, we get to drive to a palace!

**VINYL:** Who's gonna drive?

**LEGWARMER:** Me, of course. Let's go!

**SHAKO:** Well, looks like my skills are needed!

**GUARD FLAG:** What skills?

**SHAKO:** Let's just go.

**HAY BALE:** Yee-haw, let's get first!

**LEGWARMER:** Bye, Kettle! Good luck getting a move on!

**KETTLE:** Don't worry, Oakey. Just take your time!

**SHERIFF:** Uhh... are they really still here?

**SHAKO:** I guess, but who cares. That's just one less team get to worry about.

**KETTLE:** Don't worry about them, Oakums. They're just jealous!

**GUARD FLAG:** It says to take the next left and follow that road for two miles.

**SHAKO:** Got it!

***GUARD FLAG:*** Only an idiot wouldn't grab a map out of an unfamiliar country.

***SHAKO:*** Yeah, and we ain't no idiots!

***GUARD FLAG:*** We're on the road to success!

**SHAKO:** What turn do I make next?

**GUARD FLAG:** One second, I'm still trying to figure that out!

**SHAKO:** Come on! We don't have much-

***Shako hits one of the vehicles.***

**GUARD FLAG:** Ow! Why weren't you watching the road!?

**SHAKO:** Why didn't you tell me there was a turn?

**GUARD FLAG:** It's too late for that, I don't know where the map went!

**SHAKO:** We have no time for a scavenger hunt! Let's just go with what we know.

**LEGWARMER:** We can pass everyone at this rate!

**SHERIFF:** Now who do they think they is?

**HAY BALE:** We just gotta keep drivin' faster!

**DIARY (VO):** Flight number three has now landed in Bangkok.

**TAIYAKI:** Alright, Paella. Which one of us is gonna drive?

**PAELLA:** We both know that I can drive way faster than you can.

**TAIYAKI:** Fair point, you can drive.

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Hmm... I predict she's gonna be eliminated.

**PERIDOT:** You also predicted we'd beat her to the airport.

**CRYSTAL BALL:** I did?

**PERIDOT:** Yeah, I think it's time for you to shut your mouth.

***A fellow named Pedal comes along, and notices Kettle's team hasn't started moving their tuk-tuk.***

**PEDAL:** Uh, excuse me, ma'am, would you like some help?

**KETTLE:** Oakey's got it!

**PEDAL:** That's a potted tree, miss.

**KETTLE:** Well, she is going a *tad* slow.

**PEDAL:** Alright, where are you trying to get?

**KETTLE:** The Grand Palace!

**PEDAL:** Yeah, I know exactly where that is! I'll drive you there.

**KETTLE:** Ya hear that, Oakey?

***The screen zooms in at Ol' Oakey's close up, with some text appearing for a split-second.***

**KETTLE:** Oh, that's so you!

**PEDAL:** Um, sure.

**FRYING PAN:** Hey, Kettle, how you doin'?

**KETTLE:** I'm okay. I just got help from this nice young lady!

**PEDAL:** Yeah, sure.

**FRYING PAN:** Say, do you think we could hook our bike up to yours?

**KETTLE:** Oh, okay then!

**CHEF HAT:** Perfect. We owe you one, Kettle.

**MASCARA:** I think that we're the first ones here!

**CORK:** Go park the tuk-tuk somewhere, I'll go grab the clue.

**MASCARA:** Fine, but don't you *DARE* - read the clue without me!

**CORK:** Okay.

**LEGWARMER AND VINYL (IN UNISON):** *We're blasting off again!!*

**CORK:** What was that?

**LEGWARMER:** Well, that was a rude awakening.

**VINYL:** Hey, look! We made it to the clue!

**CORK:** Mascara, *Team* *8-Ball* is here!

**LEGWARMER:** We need to find a native with a, *parasol*?

**DIARY:** Parasols are popular in Thailand, due to large amounts of the sun, and a lack of fashion. Teams will have to find someone with a pink parasol, and that person will give them their next clue.

**VINYL:** Alright! Let's start looking!

**LEGWARMER:** Sounds like a plan!

**CORK:** Mascara, hurry up!!

**MASCARA:** Alright, I'm here.

**MASCARA:** What on earth is a parasol?

**CORK:** Who knows, but come on, let's get moving.

**MASCARA:** Fine.

**KETTLE:** Weeee!

**FRYING PAN:** Yes! First place is *ours,* matey!

**BONSAI:** That's it!

***Bonsai starts go over the traffic jam of vehicles.***

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Well, at least they cleared a path.

**SHAKO:** So, do you see a palace?

**GUARD FLAG:** Shako, I told you those weren't the right turns!

**SHAKO:** You told me after I already turned!

**GUARD FLAG:** There are signs *everywhere!*

**SHAKO:** They're in Thai, I can't read them!

**GUARD FLAG:** Just turn around, we're probably in last right now.

**PEDAL:** Alright, we're here, in record time too.

**KETTLE:** Thank you so much for your help, whippersnapper!

**CHEF HAT:** Thank you so much, Kettle!

**FRYING PAN:** We owe you one. Here, come with us, we'll find the lady together.

**PEDAL:** Uh, excuse me, I better get paid.

**SHERIFF:** Do you have any idea what a parasol is?

**HAY BALE:** Nope, not a clue.

**SHERIFF:** Well, I think we're screwed.

**CORK:** Are these the parasols? I can't see anything else it could be.

**MASCARA:** Maybe, I don't really know.

**LEGWARMER (O.S.):** There! That's her!

**VINYL:** Perfect! Uh, excuse me, miss. Can we get our next clue?

**LEGWARMER:** Yay! Thanks!

**VINYL:** It's a fork in the road. We have to choose between shrine or dine!

**DIARY:** A fork in the road is a choice between two different challenges, in this case, shrine or dine. In shrine, the teams will have to search the grounds of the Grand Palace on foot, to find a small replication of the Emerald Buddha, one of the sacred shrines in all of Thailand. Then, they'll have to bring it back into the shrine room to receive their next clue. There are only six available shrines, so only six teams can complete this challenge.

In dine, teams will have to properly eat three courses of famous Thai dishes including Som Tam, Khao Kha Moo, and Chao Kaui. Once they've eaten all the dishes, they'll receive their next clue.

**LEGWARMER:** Hmm, shrine sounds much easier. How about we do that one?

**MASCARA:** Let's do it together!

**CORK:** Yeah, come on, Team 80's! To victory!

**CHEF HAT:** Two clues, please.

**FRYING PAN:** And make it snapping!

**KETTLE:** Wanna dine together?

**CHEF HAT:** Hmm, sounds interesting. Maybe it'll inspire some new recipes.

**LEGWARMER:** Alright, we know where to bring the shrines. Now we just have to find them.

**MASCARA:** Easier said than done.

**CORK:** We need to get a move on.

**DIARY (VO):** The last flight, carrying Team Cheesy, The Moneymakers, and Team Suburbia has now landed. And they'll have to move quickly to catch up to the other teams.

**COCONUT:** I know I'm not supposed to talk, but-

**CHEESE STICK:** Yes, you can drive. You can be like my escort! Besides, I need more time for my article anyway.

**COCONUT:** Shouldn't you be focusing on the race?

**CHEESE STICK:** Shouldn't you be getting the driver's seat?

**CHECK:** I'll drive.

**MONEY BAG:** Okay.

**DRUM:** Can I drive?

**SOCCER MOM:** No. I would *not* allow it.

**DRUM:** Please?

**SOCCER MOM:** No.

**DRUM:** *PLEASE??*

**SOCCER MOM:** Okay, okay! Just don't crash the boat! I mean, uh, plank.

**DRUM:** Yay!!

**COCONUT:** God, this traffic is awful.

**CHEESE STICK:** Drive carefully. No way are we getting pulled over.

**COCONUT:** Really?

***Coconut notices The Moneymakers pass by.***

**COCONUT:** Why do they get to drive fast? I wish I was on that team instead of-

**CHEESE STICK:** Just shut up! You're only here because of me. At least let me talk!

**COCONUT:** (*sigh*) I hope we get last so I can go home and never have to talk to you again.

**PERIDOT:** There's still a lot of clues here. We're beating lots of other teams!

**CRYSTAL BALL:** I predict it'll stay that way.

**TAIYAKI:** Nice driving, Paella! You didn't even hit a single car!

**PAELLA:** I was trying to, but they just kept moving!

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Hey, I'm trying.

**KETTLE:** Oh, this food looks so amazing!

**FRYING PAN:** Can we start eating yet?

***The waitress nods her head.***

**CHEF HAT:** Sweet.

**KETTLE:** Come on, Oakey. You've gotta start eating!

**CHEF HAT:** I think that's gonna be a problem for her.

**FRYING PAN:** Oh well, she's not our team, so she's not our problem.

***FRYING PAN:*** Some people might say that it's *rude* not to help the competition, but it is a race. Someone has to be in last, and we're just making sure that it isn't us!

***CHEF HAT:*** Well it's not like she has anyone else to help her.

***FRYING PAN:*** She'll find someone, I think.

**BONSAI:** We've definitely fallen pretty far behind. Come on, Cactus, it's time to kick it into overdrive!

**CACTUS:** Okay.

**BONSAI:** We need to find the lady with the parasol, NOW!

**CACTUS:** Well, let's not stop talking about it, and run already.

**SHAKO:** Well, I think that took a bit longer than it should've.

***Guard Flag looks angrily at Shako.***

**SHAKO:** Let's go.

**COCONUT:** I don't think we've moved for ten minutes!

**CHEESE STICK:** My teammate would never shut up about the issues that were fairly trivial, and looking back on it, I would've picked a better partner.

**COCONUT:** Screw you, Cheese Stick!

**SOCCER MOM:** Ahhh!!! (*coughs intensely*)

**DRUM:** Weee! ♫ *The wheels on the bus go round 'n' round, all through the town... attack.* ♫

**COCONUT:** That's it! Cheese Stick, hold on.

**CHEESE STICK:** Wait, what are you-

**DIARY (VO):** Lots of teams have found the woman with the parasol, and are picking their fork in the road challenge.

**CACTUS:** Shrine. Easy.

**PERIDOT:** Shrine?

**PAELLA:** I'd rather do dine instead of walking.

**HAY BALE:** Shrine sounds like fun!

**SHERIFF:** Let's do it!

**GUARD FLAG:** I get to pick, and I pick dine cuz I'm hungry right now and I'm not in the mood to read more signs!

**SHAKO:** Why do you get to pick?

**GUARD FLAG:** Because I'm not the one who wasted our time trying to learn how to drive!

**SHAKO:** Are you ever gonna let that go?

**GUARD FLAG:** Nope!

**PAELLA:** Great. We're behind two teams, probably more!

**TAIYAKI:** So what? Let's just eat quickly.

**KETTLE (*singsongy*):** I'm done now!

**FRYING PAN:** Well done! Onto course two for you.

**CHEF HAT:** Wait, what about Old Oak Tree? Doesn't he still need to finish?

**KETTLE:** Oh, yeah. Guess I gotta start feeding him!

**KETTLE:** Oakey, open wide. Here comes the airplane! *Woooo!*

***The piece of food splats onto Ol' Oakey.***

**SHAKO:** I don't think he's very hungry.

**GUARD FLAG:** Shako, keep eating! We have no time to waste!

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Where do we go first?

**PERIDOT:** We're looking for an emerald Buddha statue, right?

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Yeah, that's what the clue says.

**PERIDOT:** Follow me, I know where to go.

***PERIDOT:*** My sister Pearl works in southern Thailand, so she speaks Thai pretty fluently. She's taught me some words when I was younger.

***CRYSTAL BALL:*** Do you know any other languages that could be useful?

***PERIDOT:*** Most of the words I know are gemstone-related, so...

**CRYSTAL BALL:** First place, here we come!

**PERIDOT (O.S.):** Yeah!

**CACTUS:** I mean, they seem to know where they're going. Let's just follow them.

**BONSAI:** If it means we don't have to wander around aimlessly, I literally follow anyone. Even Kettle.

**SHERIFF:** I agree with them, let's follow the girls.

**HAY BALE:** Deal!

**CHECK:** Well, we finally arrived at the palace.

**MONEY BAG:** Meh. My mansion is still bigger.

**CHECK:** Uh-oh, we're still in the back!

**MONEY BAG:** So what?

**CHECK:** We could be eliminated today if we don't pick up the pace!

**MONEY BAG:** You're too paranoid. Diary would never eliminate us! She knows we'll sue if she does.

**CHECK:** Let's just go find the parasol lady.

**MONEY BAG:** Fine.

**MASCARA:** Where are we supposed to go? I'm pretty sure we're lost.

**CORK:** Do you guys know?

**VINYL:** Frankly, I'm out of ideas.

***Team 80's and The Barflies spot three teams (Team Shine, the Green Party, and the Westerners) running off.***

**MASCARA:** Looks like we're just gonna follow them!

**LEGWARMER:** Obviously!

***The scene cuts to Team Cheesy arriving at the Grand Palace, with Cheese Stick feeling nauseous.***

**CHEESE STICK:** Why did you have to drive so fast?

**COCONUT:** I'm sorry, do you want to be eliminated?

**CHEESE STICK:** I feel sick...

**DRUM:** I don't want to jump! It's too high!

**SOCCER MOM:** Come here sweetie, come to momma.

**DRUM:** Okay! Catch me!

***Drum jumps onto Soccer Mom, causing her to fall off.***

**DRUM:** Yay! That was fun. Let's do it again!

**SOCCER MOM:** Uh-oh. Looks like we're back in last.

**DRUM:** Meh. It's not the first time.

**SOCCER MOM:** Well, let's hope it's the last!

**KETTLE:** Oh, Oakey. You've always been a slow eater.

**GUARD FLAG:** Come on, eat faster! We've fallen behind the Yummy Nummies, they're already on the second course!

**TAIYAKI:** Get on our level, Band Geeks!

**FRYING PAN:** Oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo - we're done with the food!

**KETTLE (O.S.):** WAIIIITTT!!!

**KETTLE:** Crockpots! Can I have a bit of help with this food?

**FRYING PAN:** Isn't it kind of cheating if we help you?

**KETTLE:** So? I helped you cheat earlier.

**CHEF HAT:** *\*sigh\** Okay. We'll help you.

**KETTLE:** Yay!!

***KETTLE:*** I'm so happy we've teamed up with such a nice team. Right, Oakey?

***The screen zooms in to the unresponsive Old Oak Tree.***

***KETTLE:*** Oh, don't act so tough. You knew we needed the help.

***FRYING PAN:*** Why would you help her? We could've gotten first!

***CHEF HAT:*** She helped us all day today. I couldn't just leave her. Besides, she wouldn't have been able to finish the challenge by herself.

***FRYING PAN:*** That ain't my problem!

**KETTLE:** Oh, thank you *sooo* much! Just start eating all of Oakey's food!

**CHEF HAT:** No problem, Kettle.

**PAELLA:** I guess they want to be eliminated.

**TAIYAKI:** No reason to complain!

**PERIDOT (O.S.):** The shrine should be right around this corner.

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Is that it?

**PERIDOT:** Yes! We're on our way to first! Come on, let's bring it back!

***The Green Party, the Barflies, and Team 80's all get one of three statues.***

**CORK:** Looks like we've followed the right people!

**HAY BALE:** Let's pass everyone quickly!

**SHERIFF:** Shouldn't be too hard.

**CHECK:** Hmm... I think this lady is the right one.

**MONEY BAG:** Eww! That's such a cheap parasol!!

**CHECK:** Sorry, miss, he didn't mean that. Can we just get our next clue?

***Check reads the clue.***

**CHECK:** Shrine or dine?

**MONEY BAG:** Well, I personally think-

**CHECK:** I'm not wandering around with you aimlessly, we're eating!

**COCONUT:** Can we have our next clue please?

**SOCCER MOM:** We need one too!

**CHEESE STICK:** *The woman with awful fashion sense gave us a clue, and we we're able to choose a challenge.*

***After writing from her article, Cheese Stick looks at the offended lady, regretting for speaking out.***

**COCONUT:** Come on, Cheese Stick. We need to get to the shrine before they do.

**DRUM:** Us too, mommy! The only other option is eating a bunch of Thai food!

**SOCCER MOM:** Run, Drum! No way are eating that **food**!

**SOCCER MOM:** Hopefully there's enough statues for both of us.

**CHEESE STICK:** Who knows at this point.

***Team Shine runs back into the shrine room.***

**PERIDOT:** We've got the shrine! We win!

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Next clue, please!

**PERIDOT:** It says to race to the Floating Market and search the stalls for the first finish line.

**DIARY:** The Floating Market is one of the most famous places in Thailand, since shoppers in the market are all on boats. Teams will have to sail around and search the market for *this*, the finish line, which marks the end of each leg. The first team to show up here will get the satisfaction of being the first leg-winner in Town Attack! However, the last team to arrive here will be eliminated from the race.

**PERIDOT**: The finish line! We're in first!

***A couple of teams who took in finding shrines start heading inside the shrine room.***

**BONSAI:** Hey, Team *Shrine*! Thanks for leading us right to first place!

**HAY BALE:** Yee-haw!

**LEGWARMER:** *Byeee*!!

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Welp, that's unfortunate.

**PERIDOT:** Let's go, we're not losing our leading to these followers.

***Both Team Shine and The Barflies place their found shrines.***

**CHEESE STICK:** Wait. That's five of the shrines... and there are only six.

**DRUM:** So there's one left?

**SOCCER MOM:** Great job at math, Drum.

**COCONUT:** Come on, Cheese Stick! We have to find it first!

**SOCCER MOM:** Drum, we are not getting last today!

**TAIYAKI:** Yes! Done! Next clue!

**SHAKO:** Seriously? You need to eat faster!

**PAELLA:** Let's go, super-fast!

**GUARD FLAG:** At least we're on the last course, we should be finished soon.

**FRYING PAN:** I wish we were in the same boot...

**KETTLE:** Oh, stop it, Frying Pan. The second course is always the best.

***Cheese Stick tries searching in one of the mini-huts, unable to find a shrine.***

**CHEESE STICK:** Coconut, come on! We need to separate ourselves from these crazy people!

**SOCCER MOM:** Who you calling crazy?!

**COCONUT:** And how exactly do you plan on doing that? They can just follow us!

**CHEESE STICK:** This is a trick I learned while trying to escape the paparazzi.

**COCONUT:** Must really work, I mean, I've never seen the paparazzi anywhere near you!

**CHEESE STICK:** Just shut up and run with me!

***Soccer Mom tries searching for a shrine as well in one of the mini-huts, unable to find one either.***

**DRUM:** No! We can never keep up!

***Drum starts crying.***

**SOCCER MOM:** We need to run as quickly as possible! No way we're eating that food, Drum.

**PERIDOT:** I think we got here first! Come on, we need to run!

**CRYSTAL BALL:** Alrighty.

***The Green Party, The Barflies and Team 80's begin to come along in racing to the Floating Market.***

**CACTUS:** Leading us to the shrine, then to the Floating Market? You guys are just handing us the win.

**PERIDOT:** You guys are *so* *annoying*...

**BONSAI:** We're here to win!

**VINYL:** Bye!!

**MASCARA:** Let's go, Cork! We have a chance for first!

***The rest of the first four teams start catching up on boats to the finish line, with the Westerners making it to the market.***

**SHERIFF:** Yee-haw! First is the best, second is the worst.

**HAY BALE:** Get in the boat, Sheriff.

**SHERIFF:** Wha?

**HAY BALE:** Get in the boat, **NOW**.

***Sheriff, looking concerned, goes ahead to get on the boat. Mascara searches around the market for the finish line for her team.***

**MASCARA:** Where on earth is the finish line?

**CORK:** It seems like there's something up there.

**MASCARA:** Is that Diary?

**CORK:** I think it is!

**MASCARA:** Let's head that way!

***The Green Party are also in search of finding Diary at the finish line.***

**BONSAI:** Did you see Diary yet?

**CACTUS:** Huh... Wait. Yes! Right over there!

**BONSAI:** Wait, really? Let's go!

**MASCARA:** We're so close!

**CORK:** I can see the Green Party!

**MASCARA:** What!? That's crazy!

***The Green Party make their way at the finish line, claiming first place.***

**BONSAI:** And... done.

**CORK:** Dang it! Lost my chance.

**CACTUS:** Indeed you did.

**DIARY:** Cactus and Bonsai, you're the first team here.

**CACTUS:** Yes!

**BONSAI:** Sweet!

**MASCARA:** *Boooo-*

***MASCARA:*** As much as I love winning, second isn't as bad as we could've gotten.

***CORK:*** True. We could back in last stuck with Team Cheesy.

***MASCARA:*** How do you know that they're in last?

***CORK:*** Trust me. They're in last.

**DIARY:** As the winners, you get the prize of being overly smug about winning. Barflies, you're in 2nd.

**CORK:** Okay.

***Team 80's start heading to the spot for the finish line.***

**VINYL:** Hey guys! I hope we aren't late.

**LEGWARMER:** Did we miss the afterparty?

**DIARY:** Team 80's, you're 3rd.

**VINYL:** Hooray!!!

**DIARY:** 4th.

**TAIYAKI:** Okay! You don't need to scream.

**DIARY:** 5th.

**CRYSTAL BALL:** 5th!? Did everyone finish before us?

**PERIDOT:** *This* is what we get for helping people.

**DIARY:** You guys are 6th.

***An overjoyed Hay Bale starts screaming.***

**HAY BALE:** *YEEEEE-*

**SHERIFF:** Haw.

**SHAKO:** We've finished!

**GUARD FLAG:** Next clue please, now!

***The Crockpots have been eating the rest of Ol' Oakey's food, beginning to feel nauseous.***

**KETTLE:** I already finished my last course. Hurry up, ya slowpokes!

**CHEF HAT:** Can we just finish already?

**FRYING PAN:** There's only one more bite...

**KETTLE:** I'll take that!

***The waitress hands Kettle their next clue.***

**KETTLE:** Hooray! Let's go, Oakey!

**FRYING PAN:** We should've left when we had the chance...

***The Moneymakers have made it into the dining room.***

**MONEY BAG:** Well, we've finally made it.

**CHECK:** Eww, I don't want to waste my time eating this food! We need to go.

**MONEY BAG:** Excuse me, Ms. Helper Woman? I was wondering how much money it would take for you to give us our next clue right now.

***The waitress looks angrily at Money Bag.***

**MONEY BAG:** I have $100 on me right now. Is that enough?

***Money Bag's bribery isn't being effective to the waitress.***

**CHECK:** I don't think it's working.

***Money Bag gives a threatening look to the waitress.***

**MONEY BAG:** Listen lady. If you don't give us our next clue, we will be eliminated from this race, and I'll sue you for costing $100. Either take this the $100 or you'll lose everything you own.

***The waitress begins feeling overwhelmed and goes ahead to give the clue to the Moneymakers.***

**MONEY BAG:** See? It always works.

***The scene cuts to an entrance at the Grand Palace, where Team Cheesy keep searching for a shrine.***

**CHEESE STICK:** Wait, is this what we're looking for?

**COCONUT:** Yeah, it is! I think we just beat the Suburbian Crazies!

**CHEESE STICK:** Yes! We're staying the race!

**DRUM:** Oh no, there are no more statues to take!

**SOCCER MOM:** Looks like we'll have to, eat, food.

**DRUM:** Noooo!!

**SOCCER MOM:** *\*sighs\** I'm sorry sweetie, but it's our only chance. Come on!

**DRUM:** I don't wanna eat!

**SOCCER MOM:** You have to! We can't be eliminated, not this early!

**DRUM:** Never, never, never!!

**SOCCER MOM:** Just take one bite. I know you'll love it.

***Drum begins to eat Som Tam. Feeling grossed out, he spits out the food on Soccer Mom.***

**DIARY (VO):** While one team faces their biggest fear, others are finally reaching the finish line.

**DIARY:** 7th.

**GUARD FLAG:** Really? I thought we we're last.

**DIARY:** Kettle and Old Oak Tree, you're in 8th. Crockpots, you're 9th.

**FRYING PAN:** What!? But Oakey never drove nor ate his food! So that has to be worth some kind of penalty!

**DIARY:** If I remember correctly, you just hooked your tuk-tuk to Kettle, so you didn't finish the challenge either. If one of you gets a penalty, it's only fair when the other does as well.

**FRYING PAN:** *\*gasping\** When you put it like that, it does seem fair knowing it's penalized!

**DIARY:** That's what I thought. And speaking of penalties, Moneymakers, you're 10th.

**CHECK:** Hooray!

**DIARY:** But you never actually ate the food in the dining challenge, you bribed your way out of it. That earns you a 30-minute penalty, starting now.

***A countdown timer shows up for the penalty time.***

**MONEY BAG:** What? What does that even mean?

**DIARY:** You've gotta wait 30 minutes to be safe.

**CHECK:** Great. Now we're doomed.

***Team Cheesy have made it into the shrine room, with Cheese Stick carefully placing the last shrine.***

**CHEESE STICK:** And just put this there, and... done!

**COCONUT:** Can we get our next clue?

**CHEESE STICK:** I hope the other challenge was more difficult.

**COCONUT:** Soccer Mom better not have finished it already.

***Team Suburbia have finished up their first course.***

**SOCCER MOM:** Whew. At least we finished the first course.

**DRUM:** There's more? I don't wanna eat anymore!

**SOCCER MOM:** You didn't eat anything, you just spit it out on me!

**DRUM:** Did not! You have no proof.

***The waitress brings out the second course.***

**DRUM:** Eww, this looks icky...

**SOCCER MOM:** Try it, or I'm not buying you any snacks ever again!

**DRUM:** Fine.

***Drum tries eating the second course, yet again feeling disgusted, spitting out the food.***

**SOCCER MOM:** Ugh...

**CHEESE STICK:** Do you see anything yet?

**COCONUT:** You've got eyes, why can't you look?

**CHEESE STICK:** Cause I can't see over your fat head!

**COCONUT:** If you're gonna be rude, at least let me drive the boat.

***Cheese Stick pushes their teammate into the water.***

**CHEESE STICK (O.S.):** You can swim, jerk!

***Team Suburbia almost finishes eating their second course of Thai food.***

**DRUM:** Okay mommy, I finished all of my food!

**SOCCER MOM:** All of it?

**DRUM:** Yep!

**SOCCER MOM:** Are you sure you didn't hide it under your chair?

**DRUM:** No...?

**SOCCER MOM:** Come on! We're almost on the last course!

**DRUM:** But it's gross!

**SOCCER MOM:** That's what you said 'bout my cooking, and look, now you love it!

**DRUM:** Love's a strong word, mom.

***The Moneymakers keep waiting at the finish line to be declared safe.***

**MONEY BAG:** Our penalty has to be up now, right?

**DIARY:** It's been 15 minutes, be patient.

***Cheese Stick makes it to the spot for the finish line.***

**DIARY:** Uhh, you seem to be missing someone.

**CHEESE STICK:** He'll be here in a sec.

***Coconut makes it out of the water.***

**COCONUT:** Why'd you have to do that?

**CHEESE STICK:** You touched the wheel. I thought it was self-explanatory.

**DIARY:** Either way, you guys are 10th place.

**COCONUT:** Great.

**SOCCER MOM:** Finally... the desserts.

**DRUM:** Mom, do I have to?

**SOCCER MOM:** YES!!

***Drum takes a bite from the last course meal, with him actually satisfied of the taste.***

**SOCCER MOM:** At least they're like, little dessert snacks?

***Drum devours the rest from the plate.***

**DRUM:** Wow, that wasn't as hard as I thought.

**SOCCER MOM:** Speak for yourself. Come on!

**DIARY:** Just a few more seconds...

**MONEY BAG:** Seriously? No one is going to finish that small amount of time.

**DIARY:** You never know. See? I see someone coming.

**CHECK:** Wait, what?!

***A boat driver, being Pedal, shows up at the finish line spot.***

**PEDAL:** Hey, have any of you see seen an old lady carrying a tree? She never paid me for driving her around.

**MONEY BAG:** No. Now stop begging money from me. I plan on keeping all 1.2 billion of my dollars, thank you.

**PEDAL:** Fine.

**DIARY:** Okay, well, I guess no one was gonna finish. Moneymakers, you're 11th, so you're safe from being eliminated.

**CHECK:** Okay.

**DRUM:** Did you make sure to get *all* of the snacks?

**SOCCER MOM:** Yes...

**DRUM:** Even the chips?

**SOCCER MOM:** Even the chips. Huh. I hope I'm able to drive this correctly. Just, press this boat and...

***Team Suburbia's boat starts going at high speed, with both Drum and Soccer Mom screaming, hitting one a shopper's boat.***

**DRUM:** Oh noiyo!

**SOCCER MOM:** Hey! They have a cooler! Drum, grab it. We need to keep these snacks cold!

**DRUM:** Got it!

***Drum goes onto the shopper's boat and steals their cooler.***

**DIARY:** Soccer Mom and Drum, I'm sorry to tell you, but you're the last team to arrive and you've been eliminated from the race.

**DRUM:** Aw, really?

**DIARY:** Yeah, so sorry. But you guys need to go, now, and give back that cooler!

**SOCCER MOM (V.O.):** We may not have won, or made it far at all. But, I think this race was the best experience we could've ever had.

**DRUM (V.O.):** Except eating that food. That wasn't fun!

**SOCCER MOM (V.O.):** Well, at least we tried something new. And, we spend as guilty spending our lives inside of one small town!

**DRUM (V.O.):** Hooray!

**DIARY:** With one team eliminated, we've only got ten more to get rid before someone wins the $100,000. We'll see who wins next time on... TOWN ATTACK!

***Credits roll.***

**DRUM:** Mommy? Can I have those snacks now?

**SOCCER MOM:** Of course, son. You've earned them.

**SOCCER MOM:** *\*coughs\**