Nothing Says Cool Like a Middle Aged Man

"Nothing Says Cool Like a Middle Aged Man" is a song by Elemental and Mr Frisbee and the eighth track on and first single from their 2021 album The Good Dad Club.

## Lyrics

I drive a red Audi,
Top down, seafront, I'm like outie(?).
Here, ladies, do you want to get rowdy?
Knock back shots 'til our vision gets cloudy?
Hey, that's a pretty rude thing to say
Thin gray hair, but it's not a toupee
New shades, leather driving gloves
Hey, where are you going, don't be riding off!
Don't belittle my maturity,
I've got financial security.
And I quite like rap
You know, Sugarhill gang, stuff like that
Alpha male, no need for comforting
Middle manager (unclear)
Recently divorced, just in case you're wondering
Hey honey bun, do you want to come sing?
Refrain (2x):
Nothing says cool like a middle aged man,
Bit of Coldplay and a spot of fake tan
Audi A3 and a pair of Raybans
C'mon little lady, do you want to make plans?
Spoken:
Yeah, I've been working out. Trying to, hard to get the time
Listen, do you want to come back to my place? Cold out here...
Verse 2:
At weekends I'm in lycra
I'm a pretty decent biker
I'm a bit of a tiger
I'm a bit of a viper
'Cause nice guys finish last
I make decisions in sharp suits
Possibly smart casual
Women in the boardroom? A bit hard to handle
Ballbreakers, probably lesbians
No time for musicians or thespians
I like tennis, I voted for Brexit
Occasionally racist, and I don't regret it
I don't get Tiktok or Snapchat
But I like some banter, you can't beat that!
Kick back with some lager and nibbles
Back at my flat if you're up for a giggle
Spoken:
Yeah!
Piers Morgan actually makes some really good points
You can't even say coloured these days!
(I'm a middle aged man)
So have you ever had a shag with a
(With a middle aged man?)
Verse 3:
Some say I'm a relic from the past that shouldn't be preserved
The times have changed, now I get whatever I deserve.
I used to say "Hey baby, what about me and you?"
It used to be all about me, now it's all Me Too
Now I feel confused, nobody laughs at my jokes
This is not how it's supposed to go down, it's just banter with blokes!
Snowflakes, can't say what I want, now I feel choked.
What do you mean I've been fired? Oh god, I'm broke
Spoken:
So, uh, welcome to, uh, my little (unclear) residence.
Yeah, it's pretty compact, it's only one room, uh... the wife got the house after the divorce.
So, uh, this is my bachelor pad, yeah!
It's got a fold out bed if you want to see that
You don't? No? That's fine.
Still, this is a step up, I spent six months in a caravan after the divorce...

## Single

*Nothing Says Cool Like a Middle Aged Man* was posted on Bandcamp as a single on 7 May 2021 with five additional tracks:

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Mr Frisbee except as indicated*

1. "Nothing Says Cool (Like a Jazz Emu Remix)" - 3:46
2. "Ready or Not feat. Dr Syntax" (Flevans Fresher Than a Lemon Pie remix) - 3:14
3. "Grown Folks Boogie" (John Callaghan's Big Night Out Remix) - 4:59
4. "Nothing Says Cool (Like a Middle Aged Man)" - 3:46
5. "Nothing Says Cool (Like a Live Instrumental)" - 3:46
6. "Nothing Says Cool (Like a Jazz Emu Instrumental)" - 3:41

## Music Video

A music video for *Nothing Says Cool* was released on 11 July 2021 and follows a Professor Elemental nightmare in which he dreams he's Guy Business, Business Guy and laments the changes in society and his inability to cope with new trends and attitudes. The video is largely filmed at the Brighton seafront.

## Trivia

* The lyrics make references to the Me Too movement along with other social changes that have taken place over the previous several years.