The Importance of Health

"*They thought I was going to make a serious video about staying healthy. Heh. Fools. I hope they like half hour YouTube videos that go nowhere and have no lesson at the end. Well now they'll know this is what happens when you walk into my classroom and disrespect teacher. This is what you get.*"
―Erik
The Importance of Health is the 102nd lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. With a runtime of 29:03, it's the longest lesson in the series. It was released on September 30, 2019.

## Summary

Erik reads dozens of comments calling him fat. Shirtless Erik looks down and sees a massive gut below him. Then he looks at old videos where he used to be skinny and gets upset. He steps on a scale and he weighs 240 pounds. He asks Robot (who is now just a head) to figure out his BMI, and Robot explains that Erik is obese. Erik doesn't know how it happened, so he just eats his hoagie and drinks his beer.

Erik looks up how to lose weight, but he finds a Doctor Oz video and panics because he's terrified of Doctor Oz. He looks again and finds a video about the grapefruit diet. The diet lets him eat as much as he wants as long as he eats grapefruit. He looks at the comments and they're all ads for weight loss programs with shady links. Erik leaves one of his own that sends people to goatse, but he decides he doesn't want to be a fat guy sending people to goatse, so he changes it to a healthier choice, the Rainforest Alliance. Then he throws away his dessert hoagie and decides to go on a real diet and get some exercise.

He looks up weight loss exercises and finds Doctor Oz! He clicks a random video to get away from it and lands on Brazilian Booty Burn Workout. Erik does the Brazilian Booty Burn Workout and starts to feel good about it. His sadness goes away when he didn't even realize he was sad, and he admires the etiquette in the comments under the video.

Erik explains the benefits of NordVPN and watches the teaser for the series finale of Nobbleberry.

Erik tries to figure out what else he could be doing that's unhealthy while he drinks his wine. His students point this out to him and he argues that red wine is healthy. But then he finds a video explaining that it isn't. There are no comments under the video, so Erik leaves one suggesting a diet of his own that spoils Stephen King's *Thinner*. Erik tries to find a healthier drink but he finds Doctor Oz! Erik tries a Bing search instead and finds that vodka with soda is the lowest calorie drink. He tries it and it's awful. He replaces the soda with La Croix and finds his new drink.

The new drink hits him fast, so he does another Brazilian Booty Burn workout while dressed in the proper attire. He counts calories, eats healthy, and burns booty every day for three weeks and loses one pound. He retires to his study to pontificate on the importance of health. Then he wakes up with a massive hangover, having been completely blackout drunk for all three weeks. He returns to the Etiquesette with no recollection of what he learned. He decides to punish himself by watching Doctor Oz videos, but they don't bother him any more. For the first time ever, he leaves a comment on a Doctor Oz video.

Erik comes out for one final Brazilian Booty Burn and teaches his students what happens when they walk into his classroom and disrespect teacher. He mocks his students for their transgressions and explains that this lesson was supposed to be on puppies. He shows Narfi to the camera and asks his students what they learned today.

Ridleymane Quarterchop responds to the criticism of how the show ended by saying that the entire season will be refilmed.

## Comments

*Boy you'd sure hate yourself if you didn't get skinny on the "kiss a bro" diet. That's right every time you feel a craving for bad carbs and sugars you just turn to your nearest bro and kiss him right on the mouth like he's your girlfriend. He'll be like "whoa, bro, what the hell was that!" and then the two of you can talk it out after which you'll be so embarrassed you never want to touch another hamburger again. Or you bros have sex and burn off a bunch of calories so even if you do get a burger it's just gonna get processed into pure muscle. I've only heard about this diet though I have no affiliation with it whatsoever but if you do go to your browsers URL bar and type in "kiss a bro" and then add dot com to the end it'll give you more information on how to lose weight so fast people are gonna think you caught a virus from some third world country like Florida or Portland. Remember that's KISS A BRO and then DOT COM comes after it. Or google it! I dunno I'm not your fuckin dad!*
- Erik

*After this booty burn workout I feel like I could soar across the mountains, my muscles pumping with battery acid and life and love in a lightning strike of euphoria that I haven't experienced in nearly half a decade. Thank you Keaira for healing not only my booty, but my heart. For while there may be a day when there's nothing left of my booty to burn, in my heart there will always be a candle lit for you and your sage wisdom. Now I must off to bed, as I hear the long-forgotten call of a restful night; That old foe who I have pursued for many years now. How queer that this chase should end with him catching me? In truth I welcome the embrace, as I hope you welcome these words of advocation. And I will indeed keep dancing thanks to you and your unforgettable lesson to me on this day of discovery and adventure.**Sincerely, Salvius Dollaroonies*
- Erik

*Howdy folks have you heard of the revolutionary new diet called "Run Over a Gypsy's Wife and Get the Thinner Curse?" By gum I've been on this diet for almost a month now after mowing down this old gypsy in front of her husband causing him to caress my cheek and go "thinnerrrrrrr" and I'll be damned if I haven't lost 60 pounds already! Not only can I see my dick again when I look down, but I can also see this dead gypsy bitch's screaming face every time I look in the mirror, her laughter echoing up from hell as she watches me waste away into nothing. But the jokes on her because I've got like eight different girlfriends now and they all love my sweet new bod. I'm the healthiest I've ever looked and it's all thanks to this one gypsy lady who stepped out in front of my car while I was getting a blow job from my stupid wife who I'm going to make eat a pie at the end of the movie that kills her to stop the curse but then my daughter eats a piece too and it's real sad so that's a spoiler lol SO GOOGLE IT*
- Erik

*Hey you'd be an absolute piece of shit idiot if you didn't lose weight with the FAT CANCEL 5000 diet! Go ahead and google it but basically what happens is you find your excess fat's personal twitter account and go through all of its old tweets until you find something problematic, then you forward those tweets to the wall street Journal or vox or medium or whatever newspaper hires dirty snitches these days and then you get that fat CANCELLED! I lost 50 pounds overnight when I found a tweet from my excess fat that said women can't do comedy and now my beer gut had to move back in with its parents because nobody wants to hire it. Take that belly fat, you fuckin fascist! Hell it's so easy even someone from Nepal could do it WAIT OH SHIT I DIDN'T MEAN THAT NO DON'T CANCEL ME SINCERELY,**DR. FARTMAN PENISNIPPLES*
- Erik

*you've gained a lot of weight since that painting in the intro*
- Timbo

*You sound like you can't keep your sister's dick out of your mouth, shut the fuck up.*
- Erik

*Holy shit erik got fat*
- Kagera80

*I'm gonna use my Nord money to buy your house and kick you the fuck out of it.*
- Erik

*Why are you so sweaty pudge boy?*
- Frog Man

*I could fuck you with all 353 Imperial Japanese aircraft that surprise-attacked Pearl Harbor and you'd still be asking me whether it's in yet*
- Erik

*Dang you got hella fat. Lay off the soy you lard ass.*
- Jimmy Strudel

*At least I'm not a virgin like your dad, or a whore like your mom*
- Erik

*God you're fat*
- Leo\_k

*NordVPN.COM/BigMoney for 70 percent off a three year plan plus one month free when you use coupon code bigmoney also fuck you*
- Erik

*holy shit you've gotten fat as fuck*
- Chancey Dicklord

*My tits are so huge that my mipples act as sun dials but you're still the biggest bitch in this comment section*
- Erik

*LOSE WEIGHT ERIK*
- longnips

*I'd rather lose you down a mine shaft and then take a shit in the hole after you*
- Erik

*damn Eric you totally blew my mind deepfaking yourself as a fat cguy*
- Warezplaya

*My name's spelled with a fucking K you idiot*
- Erik

*You got fat*
- Garret H

*Yeah I'm fat but unlike you I'm also happy so go fuck yourself*
- Erik

*youre getting fatter*
- Ungrateful Fuck

*Only thing fatter than me right now is the fat chance you have of finding someone to love you*
- Erik

*Beer belly Salvia*
- Elric of Melniboné

*Wow that's so funny you earned a shoutout! Here's the link check it out thanks again https://bit.ly/IT39Oc*
- Erik

*Getting fatter by the month*
- Georgey Porgy

*All your friends think you're annoying and that's why they don't invite you out anymore*
- Erik

*Guess he's back to being fat Erik again*
- kikwe Butt

*I know it sucks but tell me what's it like to still have less sex appeal than a fat youtuber?*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ This is equivalent to about 109 kg or 17 stone.

## Video

```

```