Paige Uppercrash

**Paige Uppercrash**(ペイジアッパークラッシュ *Peiji Appākurasshu*) is a playable fighter in *Hexad Powers: Cosmos Raid Excelsior*, an expansion of CR Vanilla. She is voiced by Mayumi Asano, though Kishō Taniyama provided the vocals for her original form **Sidney Haymaker** (シドニーヘイメーカー *Shidonī Heimēkā*).

Her epithet is **Blunt Trauma Maniac**.

## Quotes

### Select Screen

* "Some death wish you got there."
* "You'll regret ogling me."
* "Ain't getting myself into another mess..."

### Victory Text (Arcade)

* "Aspirations like the one you have are so puerile -- specially if you ain't cut out to make them a reality. Had to learn that myself." (Vs. Akko)
* "The whole world isn't to blame for how much of a weakling you are. Run back to prison." (Vs. Alicia)
* "What flimsy gear. You and that steed are perfect for each other." (Vs. Arnold)
* "Guess the Lord couldn't stick around to shield this fanatical fool. For shame." (Vs. Austin)
* "How can someone like you think to destroy an entire city when you can't beat me to a pulp? Well, up to me now to deal the last blow. Lights out!!" (Vs. Beelzebub Meringue)
* "Here's a bitch who wouldn't know 'high-maintenance' if it hit her upside the head. ...Hug me again and your bruises'll be a lot worse." (Vs. Carmine)
* "Millions of dollars won't buy you happiness. Bet they can't buy shatterproof swords either... or the best soap." (Vs. Chris)
* "I've punched heavy-duty sandbags that were more durable. Turns out those metallic body parts are just poor quality." (Vs. Cyber-Marcellus)
* "Cocky piece of shit. That power couldn't even faze the visually impaired. You and your clones were too sluggish." (Vs. Earl Silhouette)
* "Wait till York hears that I socked a mythological beast..." (Vs. Elias)
* "Stop talking or else I'll keep jabbing your throat until it bleeds. That slang is godawful. You're not making any damn sense!" (Vs. Gaz)
* "I'd like to ask you something: Which sounds worse? Your singing? Or the moment my straight made contact with your mug?" (Vs. Greg)
* "Nice footwork... for an obese mutant. Looking at you made me puke in my mouth." (Vs. Gordo)
* "Landing TKOs aren't meant to be a walk in the park. It's because you were putting too much time and effort into your hair... Moron." (Vs. Hector)
* "Ninja are a dime a dozen now... You were quick on your feet like the rest of 'em... but all these years of experience in the ring gifted me speed once unthinkable." (Vs. Imaishi)
* "It's all fun and games until narcissists get punched so hard they run off screaming and crying. Then it's hilarious." (Vs. Janice)
* "What the hell was up with this runt?! He nearly took my head off...! Feels like it's been decades since I last squared up against a special contender. To think I'd be the one trembling...!!" (Vs.  Jed)
* "Oh, please. That ear-biting incident struck more fear into my heart than your hokey Halloween act. Seeing through those tricks was simple." (Vs. Jet Black Panic)
* "The power to transform hands into firearms... Jesus. Sounds like something out of a comic or game. Should be up York's alley." (Vs. Kaleb)
* "Are you serious...? Your insomnia is second only to my bloodied fists. Would've went better for you if you stayed up the entire match." (Vs. Liza)
* "Hurt me with anything you want. Regardless, your style's all over the place, so the outcome won't change..." (Vs. Marco)
* "Don't beat yourself up too much. Lay the blame on the dullard who led you down this path." (Vs. Matt)
* "Punks like you oughta stay home and drink their milk. Better that than boring me to death with mumbo jumbo." (Vs. Nicolas)
* "Another waste of these hardened fists. The writing was on the wall." (Vs. Opus)
* "The point of these encounters is to survive and fight until one of the warriors is left standing. How anyone could see them as a chance to dress for success is beyond me." (Vs. Osiris)
* "For a copy, you're wet behind the ears. The genuine article never shows mercy." (Vs. **Paige-2**)
* "What'd you expect would happen by shoving that mic in my face? Air your grievances with the executives." (Vs. Rush)
* "The combat zone's no place for peacemakers. Devil genes or no genes, if you don't enjoy fights, keep your neck out of it and stop bitching." (Vs. Saturn)
* "'Assassin of the Night' my ass. With my own two hands, I crushed your ego... and that childish stoicism." (Vs. Seth)
* "You best consider dieting the next time I punch your face in. Maybe then you'll be able to find an opening..." (Vs. Tanya)
* "I didn't have the tolerance to drag this match out. You kept screwing around, and your voice was driving me insane." (Vs. Ultima)
* "Sheesh... You weren't just any ordinary opponent! That fight was something else all right. The hell kind of training did someone like you undergo to get so firm?" (Vs. Vivi)
* "Deep down, you and every other pig're cut from the same cloth. Though you're more drooling fleabag than squealing porker." (Vs. Watchdog)

### Victory Text (Versus)

* "See what happens when you lay a finger on me? Idiot..."
* "If I felt like it, I could grind you underneath my heel... but you're too weak for me to mull that over."
* "Next time, come at me with the strength of a demon, not soon-to-be roadkill!"
* "Don't you ever grow tired of tasting grime?"
* "Piss off."
* "Let's impart some sage advice: stay the hell away from this battlefield if you know what's good for you."
* "I keep running low on Herculean opponents... What a pain in the ass."
* "Despite appearances, I'm no less of a man now than I was before the... circumstances."

## Trivia

* Paige also appears in the 51-minute OVA special *Hexad Powers: The Strange, the Fun & the Parasol*. She's prominently shown in a scene unrelated to the main plot where she effortlessly beats up a gang of thugs -- nearly to death.
	+ Her voice in the English dub is handled by Debi Mae West.