Coco

There's two sexes; The one I have with your mom, and the one I have with your mom. You're adopted.

### Relatives

Socrates
 Plato
 Vice

### Affiliation

Holy Kingdom of Florida
 Holy Cocaine Empire

## Physical description

### Weight

Funko Pop

**Coco** (also known as Coco Bananas) is a malignant Greek god of debt and toxicology as well as the serpentine guardian of the Tree of Good and Evil but Mostly Evil. Previously rarely seen in Weskerocity canon outside of minor cameos, they were reintroduced as a main character during the Cocaine Empire Ascendancy Arc to try to add some dramatic tension and open up more merchandising opportunities.

### Appearance

Coco's design has changed several times over the course of the cartoon. Their current form is now that of a strung out junkie Japanese maid who is constantly drooling and shitting all over the place. Coco is rarely seen without shitloads of narcotics strewn about them. Because in this life the only thing worse than suffering the trials and tribulations of existence is having to do it sober.

### Personality

Coco's personality is erratic and confusing. They often speak Minecraft enchanting table, an archaic dead language nobody else in Weskerocity is known to be able to speak (except Vice but only when he's drunk). Aside from the drug addiction, Coco is also somehow addicted to books, able to inject their knowledge directly into their veins like heroin, and is constantly begging for another hit.

Coco has a notable irrational pathological hatred for chairs and has made it their mission to destroy all of the chairs in the universe.

### Abilities

Coco is an ancient eldritch stand user. Their stand「Magic Painkiller」gives them the ability to literally siphon all of the money out of the pockets, bank accounts, NFT cryptowallets and funkopop collections of anybody they come in contact with. This stand is also able to drive other people into crippling debt as well, destroying them through financial ruin. It's theorized that Coco uses the money obtained by this stand to buy more drugs. The stand originally belonged to the great ancient poet Homer Simpson and used to be called「Here Comes the Money」until Homer passed it on to Coco shortly before he vanished at the acropolis of Delphi.

## History

Coco has haunted Greece since time immemorial as a member of the ancient pantheon of gods. After pissing off the god of the Sea and Wesker's dad Poseidon by eating all of his baklava, Coco was banished from Mt. Olympiss to live among the mortals of Earf. It's kinda like that Disney movie Hercules except a lot darker. Coco now lives in the basement of the Parthenon, a big gyro restaurant built by Miκhαεl "Tysον" Ehρmanτrαυτ (the inventor of all finger foods) who forces his patrons to eat while standing.

Although Coco would have preferred to sit inside all day reading about ugly Japanese Nazi kids beating the ever-loving fuck out of each other, Mikε forces them to do some kind of useful work around the shop by guarding the Tree of Good and Evil but Mostly Evil. Mikε doesn't want freeloaders showing up and bumming his cool fruit so it's Coco's job to keep the fence gate locked. Coco has only failed to guard the tree twice, with Sir Isaac Neutron and Vice both managing to bypass the tree's defenses with subterfuge and advanced chicanery.