Nonexistent Living: The Movie/Transcript

## Scene 1

(Shows Sony logo)

(Shows Columbia Pictures logo. Before the logo ends, Twig kicks the statue lady off the screen and steals her torch)

(Shows Jordan The One logo)

Text: **Columbia Pictures presents**

Text: **in association with YouTube**

Text: **an Jordan The One production**

(Cuts to a shot of Mr. Remote’s museum)

(Cuts to a shot of Mr. Remote's painting frames)

(Cuts to Mr. Remote watching the tape)

Lady On TV: Okay. here goes. you live always stood up for you. When people point out your flaws I always say: *Well. sometimes you have to stand back to appreciate a work of art.*

Mr. Remote: Well. I am now.

Lady On TV: Lately. what's keeping us together is my ability to overlook everything you do. And I overlook these things because....

Mr. Remote: Because, Who!

Lady On TV: Well. that's the thing. I just don't know how to finish that sentence anymore. So I’m leaving with the kids to help Springfield and we're never coming back. pans over to the several sickly tough things without a good white thing and a red irish thingy making stupid sounds and slowly advancing towards me. And to prove to myself that this is the end I taped this over our wedding video. Goodbye. Homie.

[Mr. Remote turns off the tape]

[Note kicks the safe door open and creaking sounds are heard]

[Note opens the door]

Mr. Remote: Yes, the Venue is completely out of stock, this is the most important discovery of the century and everyone wants to see it, yes the science community will be there, [Note walks into the painting room and sees Mr. Remote talking on the phone] this is your big day Starfish, you won't be disappointed, I promise

Starfish: [Creeped out] Remote? [Runs and hides behind the desk]

Mr. Remote: [screams and drops the phone] Easy now, [Runs to the emergency button and presses it], We have a Code Blue!

[Lights go off and the terriers go frantic]

[Note tries to Run back into them safe but all the doors shut closed, she finds the exit door closing, and when it closes she busts it open]

[The Night Guards Run after Note Chattering in a Neapolitan Language Quick and Frantically, Bluey Bumps into an Electric fence]

Mr. Remote: Not now, Do not move in slowly.

[Note Steps Back, and a Terrier turns on a taser]

Mr. Remote: Now then. What is going on.

Note: [Gets Angry] [Yells]

[Property damage gets effective Mr. Remote and The other terriers put their shields on top of their heads]

[Mr. Remote watches and sees the fence jumped]

Mr. Remote: Uh... Who's Telling Starfish?

[Dramatic Music Plays as the Camera Pans over the fence, Note is Seen running into the street, the street is busy, a lot of cars are driving out of the road, a truck drives into Bluey]

Note: Ahh! [falls in the sky]

Crayon: What the?

## Scene 2

Note: Ugh I've been flying around in the air for five hours now, and I'm starting to go insane!

Note: Oh- uh oh. Oh crap. I'm going down. Oh no! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! (Falls into the woods, Hurting those trees. Bang Crash Thump)

Note: Oof! Ah! Huh, that was a convenient safe landing. And it did not work.

*[Note looks at the forest]*
Note: Jack-Bots, let's get digging

## Scene 3

Text: **A Few Minutes Later**

Note: Glad that's over. I ruin the forest. And i also wonder what the time is.
Note: [Looks at the phone, About 8:40 AM] Oh my god.

Text: **12 Minutes Later**

[Note jumps around the messy woods]
Note: Agh! Okay, where is that silly noise coming from?
[Note walks into the messy woods]
Picture Frame: Well, this was pretty freakin easy. We ended up finding all of these at once!
Note: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Medal: Yeah, it seems as though that shortcut really was worth it. Oh, hold on a second.

Note: What are you doing with my ave- Wait a second? You are here? Waaiit, is this the girl that tried setting you on fire once?

Medal: Yep, and I think I accidentally walked into the wrong territory.

Note: Ha! you missed!

Medal: Oh really?

Note: Well in that case.

Picture Frame: No! Don't! Run!!!

[Medal and Picture Frame runs away in the avenue)

Note: You get back here!

## Scene 4

(Cuts to a shot of the founder in the dark forest)

Question: You need to apply for a curfew? I'm thinking for you. And I'm not actually some of a kind. I know where you live. I know where you have worked like a step towards like a word for a domination. (Laughs evilly) It has so much interesting things only a fool would not fear. Tell me, for what will you use it?

[Magic Wand looks closer to founder]

Magic Wand: Listen to me, Im not stupid.

Question: Just i know where you have only yourself to blame. You being the hero of all this means that *I* have to be the villain.

Magic Wand: I DO NOT OWN THIS!

Question: Yes, I know.

[Question and Magic Wand roll over as they fight each other]

Question: It is time for you to die. NOW!

Magic Wand: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

[Question kills Magic Wand with a axe and he screams and explodes]

Note: Did you hear something?

Medal: Probably just a moth.

Note: I hope it's okay. He is dead.

Medal: Yeah! Right!