Sleepover - Transcript

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Chapter 35 - Sleepover

We open inside of Tucker’s cabin, Tim is talking as we see various items on the floor

Tim

“Marshmallows, book of spooky stories-“

P-Sauce

“Pretty sure that says necrom-“

Tim

“Sh! Sleeping bags, a gaming console, Yep... yep...”

Zoom out to reveal everyone there. Tim, Alex, P-Sauce, Lily, Safety Ninja, and Anne.

Tim

“YEP! PERFECT SLEEPOVER IS BEING PREPARED!”

Alex

“Wow”

Lily

“This is gonna be off the chaaaaain!”

Safety Ninja

“Not too off the chain, Malcom did send us here to make sure you kids don’t do anything stupid!”

Anne

“Not sure why he’d trust us, but here we are!”

Safety Ninja

“Exactly Anne! He’s trusting us! First step to a pay raise!”

P-Sauce

“Where is Malcom anyway?”

Safety Ninja

“Since it’s Monday, he’s got a Randoms Elite meeting tonight”

Cut to the boardroom, Malcom enters only for it to be empty... except for Ricardio

Malcom

“What’s happening?”

Ricardio

“Well Malcom, as you can see here, everyone else is busy on their missions. Tucker’s stopping the giants from attacking England, Jessie’s off... I dunno probably making codes or something... Sally’s got the whole Ex-Lord thing, and Tiny Turret is still tracking the sorcerers. Just you and me today Malcom”

Malcom

“So what do you want?”

Ricardio

“We got an anonymous note from... someone anonymous... apparently he’s seen a level five paranormal emergency down in Central Park”

Malcom

“Okay let’s go, unless you’re chicken”

Ricardio

“I’m a man Malcom, and I’ll prove it to you! Let’s go!”

Intro plays

Back in the Hedge Realm, the kiddos are gathered in a circle

Alex

“So... what’re we doing?”

Tim

“We’re gonna play a game! I assume...”

Alex

“How about... Go Fish?”

Brief silence

P-Sauce

“For a sleepover in another world... this is bogusly boring”

Tim

“Heh, it’s usually- usually more interesting!”

Alex

“I mean to be fair P-Sauce, there is the novelty of... being in another world”

P-Sauce

“Wack”

Brief silence

Alex

“How is that a response to what I just said?”

Brief silence

P-Sauce

“Wack”

Lily

“Well, maybe I could check Tucker’s cabinet for games. \*turns to Safety Ninja and Anne\* you guys okay with that?”

Saftey Ninja and Anne are slouching on the couch playing on their phones

Safety Ninja

“Oh yeah, whatever, go ahead and... do the... have fun”

Lily

“Okay!”

Lily runs over to Tucker’s armoire. She opens it and sees a bunch of random artifacts, and a lever

Lily

“Imma pull it”

She pulls the lever, the entire cabin starts shaking

Lily

“Eeeegh! That’s not normal!”

She runs into the living room

Alex

“WHAT’S GOING ON?!”

Tim

“This hasn’t happened before!”

Lily

“There was a lever-“

Alex

“Let me stop you right there, WHY?!”

Lily

“I thought it would- well I- STOP ACCUSING ME!”

Safety Ninja glances up

Saftey Ninja

“Kids stop- eeh? WHAT’S GOING ON?!”

Anne

“Safety Ninja, what’s going on? \*she looks up\* oh okay \*she looks back down\*”

Safety Ninja

“I leave you guys in charge for five seconds and THIS HAPPENS?!”

Tim

“Not my fault, highly unfair of you to assume that!”

Alex

“Yep, it’s Lily’s fault”

Lily

“Rude! But also extremely accurate”

P-Sauce

“Guys, look out the windows!”

They look, it’s just dirt

P-Sauce

“We’re going underground! YES! THIS JUST GOT WAY MORE EXCITING! WOOOOOO-“

The cabin stops shaking, and the crew exits the cabin

Tim

“Whoa...”

It’s a massive underground area, reminiscent of a Mario 64 Bowser level in its design

Alex

“Not comfortable with this... at all”

Lily

“Apologies in advance...”

???

“No need!”

Everyone looks up in shock... only for Jessie (The Codemaster, Randoms Elite member) to walk out from the shadows

Tim

“Izza l’il dude”

Jessie

“I am Jessie The Codemaster, Randoms Elite member, and Malcom’s most trusted advisor!”

P-Sauce

“I’m P-Sauce”

Jessie

“He trusts me because of my unique abilities, and the fact that I swore an oath to assist him. He rescued me nearly thirty years ago!”

Alex

“No one cares”

Jessie

“Anyway, Tucker actually never trusted you with the sleepover, so he sent me to keep an eye on you... make sure that Tim didn’t mess with things he wasn’t supposed to...”

Tim

“IT WAS ONE TIME!”

Jessie

“Anywho, Lily activated the ‘Trauma Run’”

Lily

“I did what?l

Jessie

“Basically through this course you will face your worst fears. If you complete it, you will return to the Hedge Realm without a scratch. Fail, and you... won’t like the answer... also Alex, we need to-“

Alex

“Nope, I’m on my way! Let’s go!l

The crew leaves, Safety Ninja and Anne trotting to keep up

Jessie

“Alex I- oh who cares, it’s a long course... I’ll get him...”

Back with Malcom and Ricardio, now in the Central Park woods

Ricardio

“So the clue says- I’LL GET THERE FIRST!”

Ricardio runs off

Malcom

“What the- HEY! If you were just gonna run off anyway why’d you invite me?!”

Malcom runs after Ricardio, eventually arriving in a clearing

Ricardio (voice)

“Hey look up”

Malcom looks up, Ricardio is in a tree, and has been grabbed by a massive crab monster

Malcom

“Please explain!”

Ricardio

“No... help me...”

Malcom

“Ugh”

Malcom jumps up in an insanely impressive athletic feat, kicks the crab monster out of the tree, and grabs Ricardio. The crab monster roars and scuttles away

Ricardio

“Thanks for that, I’m cool!”

Malcom

“You were about to die! See, this is why I’m in charge of the company! I know what I’m doing!”

Ricardio

“Oh please, stop acting like your so perfect! You’ve made plenty of mistakes! Just last year you were captured by Warwick and his sorcerers! Not exactly a flawless display of heroics”

Malcom

“Okay fine, whatever! But don’t forget who hired you!”

Ricardio

“And don’t forget who can fire you!”

Malcom looks surprised that Ricardio mentions this

Malcom

“Are you pulling rank on me?”

Ricardio

“Oh absolutely! You yourself gave the Randoms Elite, and I quote, ‘The ability to terminate the current C.E.O.’s position, if he/she became corrupted or kept something important from the Elite’”

Malcom

“Fair enough, but your forgetting the decision has to be unanimous! Sally and Tucker would never agree to that!”

Brief silence

Malcom

“Y’know probably... so who gave you that note?”

Ricardio

“I already said it was anonymous you dingbat!”

Malcom

“And you’re... following it?”

Ricardio

“Shut up!”

Malcom

“Maybe it was that giant crab monster”

Ricardio

“No no, the note specifies a basilisk”

Malcom

“A WHAT?! You know it takes an average of twenty people, or an annoying kid with a cool sword, to take just one of those down!”

Ricardio

“That is something I did not know!”

Malcom

“Remind me again why you’re the highest ranking member of the Randoms Elite. I have Tucker and Jessie, there’s no excuse”

Cut back to the Hedge Realm, the group has begun walking through the labyrinth

Alex

“So Jessie said we’re gonna face our greatest insecurities, be prepared for anything!”

Safety Ninja

“This is so creepy”

Anne

“I know right?”

Tim

“Guys look!”

Everyone

“What?”

Tim

“I don’t actually know, I’ve never been down here!”

P-Sauce

“Boo!”

They arrive at a pathway split

Alex

“Oh no... which way?”

Lily

“Hmm... maybe if we split up- \*five second pause\* nah I’m just messing with ya!”

Tim

“Right! I wanna go right!”

Safety Ninja

“I don’t know... left is generally safer...”

Anne

“My hunk of ninja says left, so I vote left!”

Lily

“Well my hunk of platonic friend says right, so I’m going with right!”

P-Sauce

“I’m totally with Lily”

Lily makes an extremely odd noise, reminiscent of a dying otter

Alex

“Yeah, I’m going with my homies”

Safety Ninja

“Oh yeah, uh-huh, very childish! I love it!”

Anne

“I mean our one job is to make sure they stay out of trouble”

Safety Ninja

“We failed”

Anne

“Yeah, but we should make sure it doesn’t get worse”

Safety Ninja

“Ugh.... let’s just go right!”

They go right, and immediately some fog starts up

Safety Ninja

“Yeah fog... great”

Alex

“Dude, calm down. I’ve faced way creepier”

No response

Alex

“Hello? Heck this fog is dense... and really wet”

Some orange liquid drips onto his hand

Alex

“Huh?”

He looks up to see that the orange is washing out of his hair, leaving it black”

Alex

“WAIT WHAT! NONONONONO! I THOUGHT I COULD KEEP THIS SECRET FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE! OH LORD!”

Indistinct voices

“It’s hideous! Gross! He’s bleaches? Seriously?”

Alex

“So what if I bleach, lots of people bleach their hair!”

Hard cut he’s just standing in front of the entire group

Lily

“Do you?”

Alex

“What?”

Lily

“Bleach your hair”

Alex

“No! I don’t- of course I- NO!”

Tim

“I’m convinced! Although now that I think about it, roughly four years ago you did exit the bathroom with your hair suddenly bright orange... but I thought it was just puberty or something... and it was!”

Jessie floats down

Jessie

“Hey! Jessie here. So allow me to explain. The labyrinth has various challenges  that were created to perfectly simulate the insecurities of the victim”

P-Sauce

“So what you’re saying, is that my boy Alex bleaches his hair”

Alex

“No!”

Jessie

“Yes of course. Notice his dad’s hair isn’t orange, and neither is his mom’s, whoa”

Tim

“Mom?”

Alex

“Hey Jessie! How about you mind your own business! You little you stupid-“

Jessie

“Look dude, I’m just doing my job! See I’m a Jessie, I know all. Like literally, I can view future timelines too, we’re getting off topic, I have amazing tangents, I can go on tangents about my tangents, like this one time- uh... just keep going”

He vanishes

Alex

“Okay, we’ll have to strategize”

Tim

“So how does your hair look black?”

Alex

“UGH!”

Cut to the Malcom/Ricardio forest adventure

Malcom

“Hmm... where’s the anomaly? Are you sure it wasn’t the crab monster?”

Ricardio

“The letter was very specific”

Malcom

“Can I actually read this weird letter?”

Ricardio

“No! It was sent directly to me!”

Malcom glares at him

Ricardio

“Fine here”

He pulls out his letter

Malcom

“Thanks.. Hmm... Ricardio, it says that the basilisk was at the Augustus Porta Fountain! WHY ARE WE GOING TO THE EAST BRIDGE?!”

Ricardio

“I don’t know the park very well”

Malcom

“Just follow me, I’m so sick of this!”

Malcom sprints off

Ricardio

“Where are you going?! Ugh great... more running...”

Cut back to the Hedge Realm, we see a montage of the group going through various insecurity based challenges, Alex has noticeably more than the others, and Jessie realizes this.

Afterwords, they find themselves at a resting point, Alex walks off for a breather

Jessie

“Your jacked up”

Alex

“HOLY- Stop that!”

Jessie

“Sorry, it’s my thing.￼ You have the most insecurities I’ve ever seen in a human being before, and I know Ricardio”

Alex

“I’m not insecure, who told you that?!”

Jessie

“You did. Anyway look, you’re almost out of the labyrinth, once your free start working on this. The biggest challenge still lies ahead”

Alex

“Oh lord”

Jessie

“Also kiddo, listen... there’s another reason I came down here... to prepare you...”

Alex looks surprised

Jessie

“Malcom wants you to take charge of the company, but I don’t think he realizes you aren’t ready, he’s too proud of you... this job, this position, it’s cost Malcom more than the average human could bear... he’s strong, but... no offense meant... you aren’t.

Alex

“Wow, a prepared speech, real scary”

Jessie

“Look, bottom line... be prepared”

Jessie vanishes

Alex walks back to the others

Tim

“Alex my dude! We ready to finish this?”

P-Sauce

“I’m so ready! This was the best sleepover ever!”

Lily

“Seriously, I actually can’t wait to go to bed!”

Safety Ninja

“Me neither, I hate this”

They approach a massive arched gateway. They stop in front of it.

Alex

“The final challenge, oh no...”

A ghostly voice echoes

Ghostly voice

“I will ask you all a private question, and you must answer aloud... good luck”

First is Anne

Ghostly Voice

“What did you really think of Safety Ninja’s cookies yesterday?”

Anne

“Ugh... um, they were gross”

Safety Ninja

“Wha-“

Safety Ninja’s turn

Ghostly￼ Voice

“Safety Ninja, what would you do if a person came out of your closet wearing pats with PRE-TORN HOLES?!”

Safety Ninja

“Hmm... I would die”

Ghostly Voice

“Very good”

P-Sauce’s turn

Ghostly Voice

“What is your greatest fear?”

P-Sauce

“Hmm... modern pop music lacks artistic integrity”

Tim’s turn

Ghostly Voice

“Tim... uh... where are your insecurities?”

Tim

“Heh”

Ghostly Voice

“Very well we will move on to Lily!”

Lily (talking to herself)

“Okay, be strong Lily, here we go!”

Ghostly Voice

“What are your honest thoughts on Laura Boyer”

Lily goes pale

Alex

“Wait! That’s not fair!”

Ghostly Voice

“Disembodied ghostly voices don’t care!”

Lily

“Alex... it’s okay, I got it...”

Lily steps up

Lily

“I’m... not sure...”

Ghostly Voice

“What?”

Lily

“I mean, she’s awful, but at the same time I feel like she did care about me, just was awful at... doing things... so to be honest, I can’t bring myself to completely hate her”

Ghostly Voice

“Huh... Alex’s turn! Alex! Who do you... have... a crush on?!”

Alex goes scarlet

Alex

“I need to... uh...”

He runs off

P-Sauce

“\*snaps his fingers\* I so knew it!”

Ghostly Voice

“You won’t get far!”

Alex is sucked back to the gate

Alex

“OH COME ON!”

Lily

“Alex, you don’t have to-“

Ghostly Voice

“Yes he does”

Lily

“Okay you’re a jerk”

Ghostly Voice

“Very true! Tick tock Alex!”

Alex

“Eeeeeigh....”

Cut back to Central Park, Malcom and Ricardio approach the fountain

Malcom

“Well we’re here... no basilisk... in sight at least”

Ricardio

“Uh... I don’t like this”

Malcom

“Me neither, get ready”

He snaps his fingers, the Blade of Anubis soars into his hand

An evil cackle is heard

Malcom

“Mmm...”

A shrimpy little rat jumps out

Ricardio

“Oh, just a... a rat, really?”

The rat laughs and it’s limbs stretch out creepily

Rat

“For years I’ve wasted away near this fountain, biding my time, waiting for the chance to feed! And now, I SHALL FEAST ON THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL WARRIOR... and Ricardio”

Malcom

“\*snorts\*”

Ricardio

“Oh yeah of course”

Malcom

“Y’know what’s funny rat, can I call you rat?”

Rat

“My name is Susan!”

Malcom

“Susan... you thought you could fight us”

Malcom and Ricardio stand over him intimidatingly

Malcom

“So... have fun”

Rat

“Wait-“

Back to the Hedge Realm

Ghostly Voice

“I grow tired of waiting, THE ANSWER NOW!”

Alex

“Uh... (whispers) Lily...”

Everyone looks at him

P-Sauce

“What did you say?”

Ghostly Voice

“Ah okay... but one of you... I S L Y I N G”

Everyone argues

Ghostly Voice

“Hey dude, I don’t make the rules... anyway prepare to die!”

The archway raises up to reveal a massive creature underneath (which speaks in the same voice)

Lily

“WHAT ON EARTH?! WHO LIED! ALEX?!”

Alex

“I told the truth! I mean, I know you didn’t hear it, but I wasn’t lying I swear!”

Lily

“Then who was?!”

The Monster

“Tick tock! Answer truthfully or die!”

He starts shaking the entire area

Tim

“Lily! I think it might be you! You answered at an in between with your mother, YOU GOTTA PICK A SIDE!”

Lily

“But I can’t! I already gave my two cents... and if the monster doesn’t like that then... I dunno what to do... my mom wasn’t great, but she’s still my only one, without her I wouldn’t exist, so maybe I’m too harsh? But at the same time she was keeping me from being happy, so maybe I’m not harsh enough? It’s such a gray area!”

The Monster

“Wow... that was... AMAZING! You know I always squeeze the truth out, but that? Whoa! Props to you buddy... BUT YOU WEREN’T THE LIAR!”

Lily

“Rats”

The monster grabs Lily, and raises her to his mouth

The Monster

“Goodbye miss Boyer”

Lily

“NONONONO!”

Everyone looks horrified, especially Alex

Lily

“P-SAUCE! BEFORE I DIE, I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I HAVE FEELINGS-“

The Monster eats her

P-Sauce

“LILY! WAS SHE ABOUT TO-“

It takes a second to sink in

P-Sauce

“I gotta save her, this is my fault!”

Tim

“What you lied?!”

P-Sauce

“Yeah, pop’s actually just okay”

P-Sauce runs at the monster and jumps at it, it swiftly eats him too

Alex

“Should we run?”

Tim

“Yeah, definitely”

They run, along with Safety Ninja and Anne

The Monster looks satisfied, then looks uncomfortable, then spits out P-Sauce and Lily

The Monster

“What on earth were you doing in there!”

P-Sauce

“Punching!”

Lily

“Yeah!”

The Monster

“Then it’ll be your deaths!”

P-Sauce

“Hey Lily, wanna boogie?”

Lily turns scarlet

Lily

“I wouldn’t mind...”

They get in ballroom dancing position, the monster begins attacking them, but they manage to dance/dodge

The other four (except Alex) watch in awe, Jessie appears behind them and starts watching too

Alex

“What is happening...”

Eventually, Lily signals Tim, who shoots a magic beam at her. She deflects it, kicking it into the monsters mouth. It explodes, and Lily and P-Sauce finish in an epic pose

The four others cheer

Tim

“LILY! THAT WAS AMAAAAAAZIIIIIIING! Lily?”

Lily

“I’ll be back after the time is-“

She faints

Alex

“Let’s get out of here...”

P-Sauce

“Yeah, should I carry Lily?”

Tim

“Nah fam, check it!”

He makes a magical stretcher appear

Tim

“See that? I’m improving! Alex help me get her up, Alex?”

Alex noticed something and is walking off

Cut to Malcom and Ricardio, who just finished beating the nuts out of the rat (seriously, there are peanuts all over the ground)

Malcom

“Man that was fun!

Ricardio

“Right! We should bond more often, I don’t even know your kids at all! Im their uncle!”

Malcom

“Well Alex is going to school, and Tim’s training to do mag-“

Ricardio

“MAGIC?! You remember anything?! Idiot! What about Warwick?! The sorcerers?! ANY OF THAT?!”

Malcom

“All big deals, but this is fine! He’s doing well!”

Ricardio

“This is so messed up! I’m gonna put a stop to it if I can Malcom, mark my words!”

Malcom

“Alright fine, wanna bet? Tim loses you get the company!”

Ricardio grins evilly

Ricardio

“Alright, I’m a gambling man. Tim wins the inspection, and you get all the information I’ve held from you”

Malcom suddenly goes furious

Malcom

“You’ve... held... INFORMATION FROM ME?!”

Ricardio (nervous)

“No worries! It’s all yours if you win!”

Malcom

“Oh my- \*sigh\* looks like the bet is on”

Back to the Hedge Realm, Alex turns a corner to see Jessie stirring something

Jessie

“Heyo!”

Alex

“Hey walking exposition machine”

Jessie

“Ouch, not my fault I have a habit of going on tangents! That originated in- I’m doing it again... anyway, how was the monster battle? Just kidding I saw it! What do you want?”

Alex

“So, kinda worries about my future with Lily... if P-Sauce knows about her crush on him now.. well not great to say the least... Uh, you mentioned you could see the future before... can you show me?”

Jessie

“Ugh... very well... I will glimpse into the future, how far?”

Alex

“Six months should be good?”

Jessie glimpses, then looks terrified

Alex

“What?”

Jessie

“Um... I remembered a very important, unrelated errand I have to run! So I’ll get back to you on that... hold on tight little guy!”

Jessie vanishes

Alex

“Alright figures... hmm...”

Tim runs over

Tim

“Alex, we’re headed back for the cabin! You coming?”

Alex

“Yeah”

THE END