Session 11: Viter

*"It was cool, it was calm. And then someone blasted a minotaur's head off."*

*These people.*

I swear, I thought I knew Ember. As it turns out, she barely knows herself. Or perhaps she knows herself *too* well and I'm the fool caught off-guard? No... no... it's this city, it must be!

Oh right! You don't know what I'm talking about, dear reader. And surely once these grand notes will one day be ornamented and sealed inside a beautiful museum, I shall surely keep you fully abreast of my experiences.

There we were—the streets of Sacena. Menacing beasts had been struck down by yours truly, and as soon as we escaped with dear young Jupiter, we thought that was going to be the end of it. But heroics take no naps, do they?

Dear Ivasar had sensed more of these fearsome beasts around and decided to take us on an alternate route through some back alleys. Yet as we slinked through, an arrow flew past Ember's head! My oldest friend was nearly destroyed by a senseless gnoll of all things! Could you imagine!

So what did we do? We got *down to business.*

I climbed up to a rooftop to pursue the archer when suddenly more beasts emerged. Another minotaur, more gnolls, and strangely, they seemed to be *working together*. What is that about? Everything we’ve heard, these beasts are brainless and maul each other to death when one of them passes gas near the other.

Nevertheless, we were in a tried and true battle!

Some things happened, and songs will be sung, but perhaps not nearly as loud as be deserved for the minotaur’s head who was BLASTED OFF by Ember, CRASHING INTO A GNOLL AND BLASTING IT OFF THE ROOF.

Don’t worry. Read that again. I’ll wait.

…back?

OK, now that you’ve wrapped *your* head around that, just know that I’ve decided to promote my dear acolyte to that of loyal vassel. She doesn’t know it yet, but this means she can speak on my behalf, and should she encounter foul beasts, she may take their heads off for me, too.

After parading over our victory, we ended up in the camp of the Hooded Lanterns and the Lord Commander. He seems on the up-and-up, but I can’t tell if that’s because he’s just taller than me or not.

We ran into our good friend Ansum, and Jupiter explained that he had arrived from Caspia in order to find relics left in the aftermath of the meteor that belonged to his family. But when they arrived at the cathedral, they were greeted by hundreds of these gnolls and minotaurs, and possibly even a so-called *“Lord of the Feast”.* A fearsome warrior, rumoured to be a manifestation of the gnoll god himself, apparently directs these creatures to savagely attack the city for unknown purposes.

Do I smell the chance for heroics? You bet your bottom dollar I do!

All this talk had made me quite hungry, so I snuck into the kitchen and met Jansen, the chef. His skill with a blade was unparalleled, and I felt like I needed to defend my honour. We had a grand competition of skill! A *potato peeling…off!*

I won’t say who won, but let’s just say honour was kept.

I also definitely could have made it with two lovely maidens, Leita and Seiko, but I decided it wasn’t time for any tomfoolery.

Oh yes, and Schmendrick became a plant for a minute.

Curious.