Assimilation is Futile

## Summary

The crew is in for a surprise as they are deployed to the water planet Q'arf'fenn'. Dar cooks. Bargie gets ghosted. C-53 give an anatomy lesson. Pleck overestimates his tolerance for moisture.

## Plot

Pleck asks C-53 if he can wear other frames. C-53's restraining bolt makes him unable to tell Pleck of his past frames, but he shows Pleck he is not particularly attached to his current frame by ripping off his hand. Pleck asks Dar if they feel attached to their body. Dar is burning up due to heat, their body's way of self cleaning. Bargie announces she has a date at 4488 o'clock, and she requires the crew to be quiet and lie on the floor in case she needs to use her hatch.

Nermut calls in a good mood, they are interviewing for Missions Operations Manager. He doesn't know where or when they're interviewing for it, since people leave when he hears them talking about it. Dar advises him to stalk them. C-53 asks how long Nermut's been in his current role (six months) and advises him that his current role is suppose to be a trainee position that lasts one month. Missions Operations Manager is a minimum ten year position before Senior Missions Operations Manager. Nermut is 23, the average life span for his species is 26. Bargie offers him some advice, 'drop gas'. The Crew's mission is to go to the planet Q'art'fenn' and meet Kefna.

Suddenly horns blare and Bargie announces that she is being attacked, everyone is very confused. The call with Nermut drops. The Grower Mind of the K'hekk announces its presence and tells them they are about to be assimilated into the swarm. The K'hekk swarm surround the ship as Pleck tries to reason with them. The Grower Mind only wants them to die. The K'hekk have assimilated the best traits out of many species to genetically enhance themselves to their best form. Bargie is impatient to get to her date. Pleck asks Dar to fix the problem but Dar just wants to take a nap.

The K'hekk break into Bargie via the loading bay, it is very itchy for her. The K'hekk have very advanced battle tactics that require a long list of commands. The Grower Mind is psychically connected to every single member of the K'hekk swarm, it can switch control from body to body at will. It already has plans for how it will use all the Crew. Pleck as a Worker to carry food and eggs; Dar as a Royal Drone protecting a Queen; The Grower Mind has no interest in C-53 as he is not warm and doesn't have life. Bargie and The Grower Mind realise that they have met before.

A K'hekk explodes and Kroon fall everywhere, however they cannot accept it as The Grower Mind is not an authorised distributor of Kroon. The Grower Mind wants them to use the counterfeit Kroon to devalue the currency. C-53 starts killing the K'hekk to demonstrate their weaknesses. The K'hekk attempt to seize the crew but Dar's heat burns them and they retreat (in a typically complicated fashion).

Rebellion pilot Hark Tartigast carves small wooden figurines and reads sponsor copy for WordPress.com.

Pleck worries that the K'hekk will return, C-53 confirms that they will return within 24 hours. Bargie refuses to flee as this is where she is meeting her date (despite the fact its 5123 o'clock). The transmitter is not working, Bargie informs them that she turned it off so her date can find her easier and its rude to leave it on when on a date. Bargie and The Grower Mind were best friends before they had a falling out, Bargie feels disillusioned with dating and leaks gas for fun. The K'hekk return in greater number. The Grower Mind remembers that they assimilated a cargo ship on the way there which created the K'hekk currently on Bargie. That cargo ship was Bargie's date. Upset, Bargie needs a moment to herself and orders everyone off the ship, despite Pleck's protests that he can't survive in space. There is a natural atmosphere inside the Beetles that will allow the crew to leave Bargie, they are hesitant as they assume they will be assimilated. After an insincere sounding reassurance from The Grower Mind and an order from Bargie, they each get inside a Beetle. It is very moist. Bargie ejects them into space. The Grower Mind leaves behind a single ambassador to talk to Bargie and try to stir up old feelings, unintentionally stirring up bad memories as well. They insult each other and then The Grower Mind leaves to assimilate another planet. Feeling better, Bargie opens up to allow the Crew back on the ship. By pulling a nerve cluster inside the Beetles the Crew release themselves and are thrown back onto Bargie. Bargie decides to only have fun from now on, a new ship in her back hatch every day.

Rebellion leader Rolphus Tiddle reads sponsor copy for Harry's Razors.

Bargie turns the transmitter back on and they immediately get a call from Nermut. C-53 informs him that they were invaded by the K'hekk. Nermut tells them that this means its war between the Federated Alliance and the K'hekk and it will reflect badly on his application to become a Missions Operations Manager. The Crew request more food and furniture to replace what the K'hekk ate, and what Dar burned. C-53 requests a new hand to replace the one he ripped off, and Bargie requests oil to replace the oil she ejected for her date. Nermut offers to send an autonomous shuttle with their requests and some cold packs (or sacks depending on availability) for Dar.

## Firsts of note

* Dar goes into heat (their "monthlies")
* KoolPak Cold Sacs and Colds de Sac Cool Packs are introduced

## Quotes

Bargie: "Two words: Drop. Gas. [...]"

Nermut: "People make fun of me when I do that."

"You are a cantankerous old ship." - The Grower Mind (To Bargie)

"Someone is touching me." - Bargie

"Everything is fun when you are The Grower Mind." - The Grower Mind

## Trivia

* Dar's heat happens once every other moon cycle, they shed their insides.
* Dar's heat reaches 480 degrees Fahrenheit.
* Bargie's natural musk is fuel.
* The Grower Mind had an adversarial relationship with the Galactic Monarchy.
* The K'hekk take people over by injecting an egg into a being's eye, letting it grow and then taking over their brain. A process that Pleck experiences starting in Allen: Resurrection through to Crush Into Me.
* The K'hekk swarm ate their supplies and some of Bargie's couches.
* Bargie has been married 80 times.
* Coldasac is a brand of cold packs (they don't make sacks); Coldpack is a brand of cold sacks; they have a husky puppy on them. You can't put Coldpacks in Cold Sacs, you can put them in regular sacs.
* Bargie used to date a hacky sack.
* C-53 can lie even with his restraining bolt, he lies to Nermut about how he lost his hand.

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy - Seth Lind

Bargarean Jade - Moujan Zolfaghari

The K'hekk Swarm - Winston Noel

The Grower Mind of the K'hekk - John Robert Wilson

### **Production**

Edited - Seth Lind

Recorded - Braund Studios by Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz