Batman: Dark Tomorrow

***Batman: Dark Tomorrow*** is the sixth episode of Just Bad Games, released on August 15, 2019.

## Transcript

**Shane**: *Batman: Dark Tomorrow* was a game developed by HotGen for the GameCube and Xbox.

**Adam**: The game was pitched as a highly ambitious open-world Batman game, where you could traverse Gotham City, use multiple vehicles and tools to fight crime. Not based off the successful movies or animated shows, this was a game that would pull completely from the long-running comic series.

**Shane**: The developers envisioned *Dark Tomorrow* as an *Arkham City*-like experience a full console generation before even the first *Arkham Asylum* game hit store shelves.

**Adam**: After a four-year development cycle, the game was finally released. But did they make the dream of becoming the Caped Crusader a reality?

**Shane**: Ha! Well, would it be on this show if it did?

**Adam**: We begin our adventure beating up some crooks who just robbed a store. The enemies are braindead, and seem to lack any real idea of what to do to attack Batman.

**Shane**: If they do land a punch and Batman gets knocked to the ground, the criminals do nothing. They don't even try to kick him or anything. The AI is programmed so badly that it's just pathetic. This is your first taste of combat, and it's not really going all that well.

**Adam**: In fact, there is no training, no real introduction to gameplay mechanics, with combat that might not be the biggest issue. But when it comes to the next random section of gameplay, folks, we got a big problem.

**Shane**: I'm sure the idea here was to have Batman traversing the rooftops, jumping from building to building, grappling structures with the ease and fluidity of an agile spider monkey.

*(gameplay where Batman fails at grappling the building ledge and falls to his death)*

**Adam**: This is the worst traversal system implemented in a video game, ever.

**Shane**: Oh, where do we begin? First off, the game has a fixed camera that clicks to new positions seemingly at freaking random. You never know when it's gonna happen, and when it does, it causes another problem.

**Adam**: Controls. They change directions with each camera movement. If you're moving forward by holding the thumbstick up and the camera angle changes, your controls shift direction too. Forward now could be back or left or right, it's insane.

**Shane**: This one rooftop has nothing on it, but it has two different camera angles that do nothing but disorient you!

**Adam**: This is the first rooftop.

**Shane**: The first?!

**Adam**: You're gonna need to go across a lot more to clear this stage.

**Shane**: Without proper camera controls, it's hard to gauge distance between buildings. So you might be able to jump successfully once or twice, but other times, it won't work. And if you haven't noticed it by now, Batman's basic jump also lacks momentum. What it doesn't lack is panache.

**Adam**: For longer gaps, you'll need to grapple.

**Shane**: Oh. The grapple.

**Adam**: Look, it just doesn't work.

**Shane**: You'll shoot it out and swing with a little momentum, and if you don't immediately continue forward, though, Batman just kind of hangs pathetically.

**Batman**: Alfred. Oracle. Can't swing. Huh. What's this button do?

*(Batman falls to his death)*

**Adam**: In order to jump up onto buildings, Batman has this stiff, slippy jump maneuver that is incredibly hard to aim and control.

**Shane**: And perhaps to add more awfulness, the game has to load every few rooftops.

**Adam**: It's always unexpected. Just like the camera angles jostling, you'll never know when the game will suddenly stop and cut to a black screen.

**Shane**: Combine all of this together, and you've got one heck of a challenge ahead of you. This is a master stroke of bad mechanics all being crammed together in one sequence.

**Adam**: We're pretty sure the developers were well aware of how bad all this was, because this rooftop nightmare gameplay never returns in the rest of the game.

**Shane**: But don't be mistaken into thinking the game gets any better.

**Adam**: After being informed that rival gangs are terrorizing Gotham, Batman takes to the streets.

**Batman**: I must defend Gotham.

**Shane**: Welcome to awful, cramped spaces, even worse camera angles, and even more loading screens.

**Adam**: Check this sequence out: Bats casually walks in a straight line. The camera angle changes, and then some random guy in a window shoots a rocket that **instantly kills Batman.**

**Batman**: Blergh, I'm Bat-dead!

**Shane**: Typically in a game, like this, you've learned a lesson: that lesson being avoid the man with the rocket launcher in the window.

**Adam**: But when you reload the game, the enemy in the window is gone. We practically begged to be shot again, but nothing.

**Shane**: This is ultra-confusing and ultimately extremely pointless.

**Adam**: This whole stage is filled with dead ends, confusing or mindless sequences, and objects that are hard to interact with. These streets are just filled with so many problems.

**Shane**: It will take you several minutes to open a door. The action button is the same as attack, so you'll end up punching the air over and over instead of opening it. This will happen, though, with every single door in the entire game.

**Adam**: When you do manage to get outside, you get more confusing little events. Oh, see that car there? Batman, go check it out!

**Batman**: Oh. Okay!

*(the car explodes, damaging Batman)*

**Batman**: My parents are dead!

**Adam**: Yeah. Sometimes, cars just explode when Batman gets close to them.

**Shane**: And just like the disappearing rocket launcher guy, it serves no purpose at all but to irritate you.

**Adam**: There are so many obviously unfinished areas in these levels. You might be curious to explore the world with your grappling hook- NEVER EVER DO THIS.

**Shane**: You might jump outside of the stage into an incomplete area that has no way to get back to where you came from, like this wonderful little void of nothingness here.

**Adam**: It really feels like the scraps of a failed open-world game. Streets with dynamic camera angles have nothing in them, and awkwardly-positioned walls fondle you in specific directions.

**Shane**: So you better stay in that direction, cause otherwise, you'll live out a fate worse than a game over. You'll be stuck playing this game longer than you'd ever want to.

**Adam**: Back to combat, Batman supposedly has stealth takedown abilities, but they're totally broken.

**Shane**: Enemies always seem to hear you regardless, and if you do happen to get close enough to punch them, heh, it always doesn't work.

*(Batman continuously fails to punch an enemy)*

**Adam**: Speaking of taking down foes, you're going to run into way more enemies on this stage, and everything is about to come to a crawl. You see, none of the regular enemies in this game actually have health bars. Instead, what you need to do is restrain them.

**Shane**: When you punch one enemy and knock them down, it's not such a big deal to cuff that one person. But how about six? Six!

**Adam**: Six enemies all chipping at your health-

**Shane**: -while they don't have a health bar, plus, they'll never get permanently knocked out!

**Adam**: Every time you knock down one thug and fight another-

**Shane**: The previously knocked down enemy gets back up.

**Adam**: You'll be fighting everyone in a messy, never-ending loop.

**Shane**: Even if you have a moment to start quickly tying up one of the enemies-

**Adam**: Another will smack you in the back of the head and knock you down, breaking the sequence and freeing the bad guy you were just trying to tie up.

**Shane**: Ugh! Will this ever end?

**Adam**: Maybe you'll get lucky, and by some miracle be able to tie everyone up. But, if you're like us-

**Shane**: You'll just run away as fast as you can to end the stage.

**Adam**: This is a legit strategy. You don't actually need to rid the streets of dangerous criminals; you just need to get from Point A to Point B.

**Shane**: This was our go-to move while clearing the game- that is, until we got to our first boss battle: Black Mask.

**Adam**: Now, you might be expecting the gameplay to shift to a more refined method of play- maybe Black Mask will move in a certain way, or have some repeated sequences of moves that require timing and precision to lay the perfect attack.

**Shane**: Nope! We begun the fight by throwing Batarangs from off-screen at Black Mask. We couldn't see him, but his health bar was sure going down fast.

**Adam**: Once we got bored of doing this, we decided to punch him in the face.

**Shane**: This was a very effective strategy.

**Adam**: Shortly after, Batman takes on another classic villain: Scarface. Now, while some of the cutscenes in *Dark Tomorrow* look okay by 2003 standards-

**Shane**: This is just weird. Scarface's head is dislodged and is still talking? I don't think this character was ever sentient. He's supposed to be controlled by the Ventriloquist. I'd ask more questions, but the minute Batman pulls a live fish off the concrete, he hurls it into Scarface's mouth- I just give up.

**Adam**: Oh, we also see Robin in this cutscene, and Batgirl- OH MY GOSH.

**Shane**: Okay, hold up, that's Cassandra Cain. She's an actual character from the comics, and yes, she's supposed to look like that. When they released this game, she was just introduced though, so maybe not that many people knew who she was.

**Adam**: In the *Arkham Asylum* games, they did a great job of introducing the characters and providing a way to find out more about them through documents that you could read. That way, you're never really lost when you play.

**Shane**: But here, everything is all over the place. You have very specific characters showing up with no explanation or any possible way to find out who they are in the game. And even if a character does show up that you happen to know, you don't have any way to find out what this version of them is like, hence the shock I got SEEING AN ACTUAL FREAKING PUPPET TALKING WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM THE VENTRILOQUIST.

**Adam**: Anyway, in the next stage, Batman takes to the sewers, and after a mind-numbing hour of blindly crawling through them, there's not that much to say, except, hey. Big rats.

**Batman**: RoboCop warned me about these.

**Shane**: The sewers lead the Dark Knight to Arkham Asylum. You might be excited to hear the game will have a huge chunk that takes place in this iconic location.

**Adam**: Don't be.

**Shane**: There is a whole lot of backtracking that goes on, with very little direction. But eventually, you will stumble onto your first of many encounters with Batman's rogues gallery.

**Adam**: First fight is with Killer Croc, a towering, vicious, animalistic killer known for his strength and agility!

**Killer Croc**: Grr.

**Shane**: So how do we beat him?

*(Batman continuously punches and kicks Killer Croc)*

**Adam**: Kick him in the face.

**Shane**: The battle is seriously unimpressive, but don't worry. There is another one literally right around the corner.

**Adam**: We're not exaggerating when we say that you'll be hitting boss fights just brief minutes apart from one another. It feels like the team behind *Dark Tomorrow* was running out of time and money fast.

**Shane**: Next up, you'll face Poison Ivy, but before you get to her, you'll need to fight one of Batman's greatest enemies: a tree.

**Adam**: The game doesn't really let you know you need to fight the tree, but the tree attacks you.

**Shane**: This is so sad.

**Adam**: When you finally meet Poison Ivy, she's surrounded by more of these stupid evil trees and vines. I think the game developers were finally trying to make a boss battle with some kind of strategy to it, but they clearly gave up about halfway.

**Shane**: Batman will flail about, punching and kicking anything while spraying anti-vegetable juice as fast as he can. And if you're very, very ultra-lucky, maybe you'll accidentally beat her.

**Adam**: Ah, but there's no time to think, because you're on to the next battle, with Mr. Freeze.

**Shane**: And once you beat him, you fight Zsasz.

**Adam**: It seems our enemies are unprepared for Batman's brilliant battle plan of not moving and spamming two buttons.

**Shane**: But hold up. Now we get to the main attraction. The Clown Prince of Crime: the Joker, likely to be an incredible boss battle that will take all of the skills you've learned and combine 'em together into an impressive piece of gameplay.

**Adam**: Only the Joker runs away, and you just fight regular enemies until Joker kinda just-

**Shane**: Gives up?

**Shane and Adam**: Success.

**Shane**: You might expect the game to end here, but- we're not lucky enough for that, because the true head villain in this game is none other than Ra's al Ghul, who reveals himself via remote video call from his secret lair.

**Adam**: Are we gonna talk about the video pipe organ?

**Shane**: No. I can't. Having found the coordinates of Ra's' lair, Batman flies close to it with his Batplane. But to avoid being caught on radar, he uses his famous Batglider to stealthily travel between the ridges of this mountain of ice.

**Adam**: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the first and only vehicle sequence in the whole game, and well-

**Batman**: I feel like I'm a bird. OH! Clipped a wing!

I'm sailing aWAAAY!

I'm the mountain!

I didn't do anything that time!

*(while gliding in place)* Hello. Hello? Anyone? This doesn't seem possible, but it is. I'm really scared and confused right now. Alfred? Alfred! Hello?

**Adam**: And now, we know why this is the only kind of vehicle section in this game.

**Shane**: Now, up until this point, we had a very special and useful feature.

**Adam**: Say what you will about traversal in this game and how everything is structured. At least you know where you've been and possibly where you need to go, because of this helpful little mini-map up to the top right.

**Shane**: It has been featured completely in the game, but on this final level, kiss the one good thing about this game goodbye.

**Adam**: So, your radar's out, and you're sneaking into an ice fortress in a land bathed in white. What does Batman, the master of stealth, wear?

**Shane**: The same dark costume he always does.

**Adam**: Way to blend in, Bats! Oh, and speaking of blending in, when everything's white, what's hard to see?

**Shane**: Gigantic deadly chasms!

**Adam**: We finally make our way out to some sort of compound, open the door, and-

*(Batman is instantly shot by enemies)*

You know, I think this is a fairly accurate metaphor for what it feels like to play this game. Fair.

**Shane**: Remember when we were talking about not having a map being a problem? Well, the camera angles that this game offers you don't show you important things like a door, which the radar would hint at. This game is terrible!

**Adam**: When you get to Ra's al Ghul's castle thing, it's very unclear how to actually get into this space. But don't try to explore for too long, because they punish you for doing it. We're pelted with mortar fire, and we deal with tons and tons of goons.

**Shane**: "Get to higher ground, Batman"!

**Batman**: Oh, okay. Let me just-

(climbs ladder, then gets shot down)

Alfred.

**Shane**: We were stuck in this area for a long time. Doors you can't open, paths you can't take. You just keep cycling around forever trying to find some solution to this endless, directionless maze.

**Adam**: You know what you have to do?

**Shane**: No! What?

**Adam**: Shoot blindly into the sky with your grappling hook in one very specific area, and awkwardly climb into that window.

**Shane**: WHAT?! How would you ever know to do that?

**Adam**: Once inside Ra's al Ghul's lair, you roam the sparsely-decorated halls, and let me tell you, this is just monotonous. You traverse what feels like the same long hallways and rooms over and over again.

**Shane**: With all of this walking, you start to notice the way Batman is animated, and I mean, just look at him. Is this seriously the movement of a highly-trained, stealthy hero?

**Adam**: He runs like he's scampering for a toilet.

**Batman**: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Batman needs to make!

**Shane**: He walks like a pouting child.

**Batman**: Where's Alfred? Is he even in this game?

**Adam**: He sneaks like- I'm not sure exactly what. I think this is new.

**Batman**: I'm Crab-man!

**Shane**: You'll be seeing all of these wonderful animations again and again, because folks, this here is the peak of terrible that this game has to offer. Welcome to-

**Shane and Adam**: Ra's al Ghul's Endless Hall of Boredom.

**Adam**: This entire level is loaded with immense backtracking due to incredibly long dead ends. Even the programmers seemed fed up with this level. There are doorways that are straight up blacked out, and you crouch into ventilation shafts that have twists and turns that are completely inaccessible.

**Batman**: Batman can't go left. Batman can't go right. Looks like Batman's gonna have to stay here tonight.

**Adam**: The name of the game here, I guess, is wander around and beat up enemies.

**Shane**: But it's not just enemies that are a threat. The camera is constantly working against you. See this sequence here? The camera is pointing at Batman, so he's probably thinking-

**Batman**: Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm gonna walk forward now, yes I am! I'm a good Batman!

**Shane**: But when he does-

*(Batman falls into a pit)*

**Batman**: MARTHA!

**Adam**: He falls into a pit hidden directly behind the camera.

**Shane**: We really didn't know how to get past this point, so in vain, we tried to grapple again, and well-

**Batman**: *(while dangling over the pit)* Alfred? Batgirl, Oracle? This keeps happening to me! Wait- am I actually holding anything right now?

**Adam**: Through sheer will and determination, with any luck, you'll eventually find your way through several important-looking rooms, like this one, which has some smoky computer terminal with a big red glowing light. We tried to access it, but nothing happened. Great. A little further on, you get into the first of three boss battles that happen one after another.

**Shane**: First, you fight two elite soldiers. Clobber these two morons and you face the second boss battle: a giant dolt named Ubu. To beat him with any luck, you'll need to use the combo system.

**Adam**: Hehehe. Did you know this game had a combo system? We almost finished the game and never had to use it once. You're not even properly taught how it works. We had to dive into the game manual to figure it out.

**Shane**: This character has so much health and is ultra-repetitive. You just keep repeating the same action about, I don't know, a hundred times, and if you did everything right, you'll be able to go to the next and final boss of the whole game: Razmatazz al Ghuly-Ghul.

**Adam**: This is where the game comes together to combine everything that doesn't work into a whole new package.

**Shane**: Mr. al Ghul and the Dark Knight are now fighting with swords because why not- there is no introduction to the game mechanic at all, so you're just tossed into it to figure it all out while Batman gets poked full of holes.

**Adam**: The changing camera angles and shifting controls make this battle practically impossible to clear.

**Shane**: And if you think you can overcome the infernal camera angles by staying in one place, well, you'll just lose the fight faster, cause Ra's al Ghul totally takes advantage of you staying in one area, and every time Ra's knocks you down, you'll be treated to this lovely soundbyte:

**Ra's al Ghul**: Face me, detective!

**Shane**: This is the ultimate battle in the game, and the developers clearly only played it once or twice before giving it a gold star.

**Adam**: But finally, after hours of the most wretched, broken gameplay, through glitches, bugs, and so much wasted potential, you strike a winning blow against this cunning enemy.

**Shane**: Finally, you're treated to a glorious ending.

**Ra's al Ghul**: So shall it be.

*(Ra's al Ghul presses a button and laughs, while cities are flooded and buildings explode)*

**Batman**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Shane**: WAIT! What just happened? Did- did we lose???

**Adam**: Yes.

**Shane**: But- but why???

**Adam**: Turns out there are multiple endings in *Dark Tomorrow*. The one you just experienced with us is the bad ending. So, how do you get the good one? Remember that one point where we were lost and walkin' around and found that big red glowing light that didn't do anything?

**Shane**: Well, turns out you were supposed to do something with it.

**Adam**: Yeah! You need to use the universal tool in your utility belt to hack the system and disable Ra's al Ghul's superweapon.

**Shane**: Is there any direction, any hint, any possible way to know that you had to do that?

**Adam**: No. Nothing at all.

**Shane**: Even with the good ending, things don't end well at all. Ra's is killed accidentally by that walking imbecile Ubu, who you fought earlier.

**Adam**: But Ra's is carried to a green pool of Jell-O, and brief moments before the credits begin to roll, Ra's is shown to be alive.

**Shane**: So what did we learn?

**Adam**: Well, Batman has a lot of people that hate him, and he's doomed to fight them forever, and because he refuses to kill any of them, they'll always find a way back. Batman and his foes will forever make the world worse for everyone.

**Shane**: So what was the point of all of this?!?

**Adam**: As a player, an onlooker, the Caped Crusader himself, there is no good ending when it comes to *Batman: Dark Tomorrow*.

**Shane**: **IT'S JUST BAD.**

**Batman**: *Set me free, why don't ya, babe? Get out my life, why don't ya, babe? 'Cause you don't really love me. You just keep me hangin' on! Oooh!* I'm Batman!