Jester Star

## BEGIN PROFILE:

***G.U.F.F. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING SAFETY DURING “JESTER STAR” MANIFESTATIONS***

*The*
 “Jester Star” is an anomalous celestial body, appearing in the sky
after full sunset. Its appearance upon observation appears to be close
to earth, approximately a quarter of the size of the moon.

*The “Jester*
 Star” is un-detectable outside of these manifestations, and will not
appear to any astronomical or physical observation outside of affected
area despite clear indicators of physical prescence.

*Non-anomalous*
 gravitational and thermal effects are nonexistent. Data from mechanical
 probes sent to observe is not cleared for public release due to
potential neurological and physiological effects.

*HOW TO PREDICT THE JESTER STAR:*

*Appearances*
 of monochromatic flyers in bright green ink on black paper in unknown
characters. These are accompanied by images of what appears to be a
“circus,” but this is inconsistent. Most images appear to feature “The
Harlequin”

*A sharp increase in phantom clown sightings.*
 Clearer indicators of relation to “Jester Star” is lack of
aggressiveness in sighted clowns, unlike “common” phantom clowns.

*Anomalous*
 animal appearances for the environment. Examples vary, but past
appearances have included polar bears in the Sonoran Desert, moose in
Florida, Snallygaster in Alaska, and California Condor in Detroit.

*Appearances*
 of the “street performer” known as “The Harlequin.” If you are spoken
to by “The Harlequin”, do not leave until he has finished his act. If
you are offered an item, leave a twenty dollar bill in his hat. If you
are unable to pay, politely decline. If he asks you to aid him in his
performance, DO NOT REFUSE.

*IF YOU SEE THE JESTER STAR:*

*Do not panic*. *Everyone else can see it too. It is not malevolent, and will disappear when the Star leaves.*

*DO*
 NOT attempt to contact external; non G.U.F.F. officials about anomalous
 activity. Doing so will cause active pursuit by Star Entities.

*The*
 environment will remain nocturnal as long as the Star is in effect,
ranging from three days to a week. Circadian rhythms appear to function
normally over twenty-four hour cycles.

*Do not attempt*
to block out the continuous speech through electronic devices by “The
Harlequin”. This is proven inaccurate, and will draw his attention
towards you.

*There will be a large tent; referred to by*
 Star Entities as “The Big Top” with anomalous spacial internal
properties manifesting inside the town, with prices charged for
admission. Do not panic if you can see it over the horizon no matter
where you go, this is normal. If you are to enter, DO NOT heckle the
performers, and always pay for your ticket.

*If red curtains are blocking an area, DO NOT ENTER until they are opened by a Star Entity or opened independently.*

*Aside*
 from those mentioned in this document, any architectural alterations by
 the Star are benign and to be treated normally, even if they appear to
exhibit unsafe properties in their appearance. These properties are
almost always mitigated by anomalous features seemingly designed to
allow safety.

*All business entities cohabited by*
business operations of Star Entities MUST WORK TO ACCOMIDATE THEM, NO
MATTER THEIR DEMANDS. Any anomalous items given for “being good hosts”
must be inspected by G.U.F.F. personnel before use. G.U.F.F. will not
pay for any physical, psychological or property damages incurred by
those being “very rude” to the Star Entities.

*The rules for*
 “The Harlequin“ pre-manifestation still apply. If he offers to take you
 to the Big Top, always accept. Any resultant physical alterations will
be dealt with free of charge by the G.U.F.F. if undesired. No
individuals have contacted the G.U.F.F. about this offer so far.

*Anomalous*
 street performers/street vendors are mostly safe to engage with, aside
from these recorded examples: Mr. Red/Mx. White/Ms. Blue, Doctor W.D.
Quackenheimer, Volto The Poison Wizard, Champion Heavyweight Mad Man
Marbles, Hopper’s Choppers, Hank Bartells Jr. and The Tattooed Taboo. DO
 NOT ENGAGE WITH THESE INDIVIDUALS IN ANY WAY.

*If you*
have dealt with any unsafe performers in the past, write the name
“Madame Lao Jr.” on any stable/writeable surface while the star is
manifesting. She will know what to do.

''*DO NOT harm marginalized groups, animals, or individuals below the poverty line during the event.* Doing
 so will attract negative attention from “The Harlequin,” despite any
escape from legal infractions accessible before the star. This attention
 will continue even after the Star’s appearance has ended.

*If*
 you are given an application to “join” the Star Entities, be sure you
are willing to give up the entirety of your communal, financial, and
personal attachments before you sign.

*If you are lost*
in the altered surroundings, ask one of the Star Entities to take you to
 Babs. However, never ask the Harlequin to take you to Babs.''***HAVE FUN, BUT BE SAFE, BE SMART, REMEMBER THESE RULES!***

## Author Commentary

The idea for this came when I altered an image of a Star, and IDK why but I felt it was particularly
 circus-y. Hence the concept. It was fun, albeit a bit laborious, to
write this goofy Bradbury-esque star-circus PSA, tho IDK if I did it
particularly well.

As per usual with G.U.F.F. stuff, this is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY 4.0 license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, which I previewed this design on ages ago, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!