The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set a Fire)

## Lyrics

[JENNA]

O-M-G Chlo, answer me

Woah, wait until I tell you what I heard!

It's too FUCKED to type, this shit is ripe

Call back, I'll yell you every word

[CHLOE]

Jenna Rolan calling

Ugh, Jenna Rolan calling...

Jenna Rolan calling...

Hey!

[JENNA]

Ohmygod- Ohmygod-

Okay, so!

At the end of last night's party

Very end of last night's party

Did you see Rich?

[CHLOE]

Oh I saw Rich

[JENNA]

So he's behaving hazy like a tweaking junkie

Flailing crazy like a freaking monkey

[CHLOE]

He's gotta learn to handle his high

Shouldn't drink so much for a small guy

[JENNA]

Right, but, he wasn't drunk

[CHLOE]

The hell you say, Jenna?

[JENNA]

Yo, he wasn't drunk!

[CHLOE]

The hell you say, Jenna?

[JENNA]

No! Because I heard from Dustin Kropp

That Rich had barely touched a drop

Which means that you can't blame the things he did on alcohol

It's just so terrible, I don't want to relive it all

But do you want me to tell you?

[CHLOE]

Spit it out! Spit it out!

[JENNA]

You really want me to tell you?

[CHLOE]

Spit it out! Spit it out!

[JENNA]

I'll tell you 'cause you are my closest friend!

[CHLOE]

No, I'm not?

[JENNA]

Yeah, I know

But here's what happened at the party's end

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

I thought I was dreaming

Everybody was screaming!

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

[CHLOE]

O-M-G Brooke, answer me

Look, wait until I tell you what I saw!

[BROOKE]

Ignore!

[CHLOE]

Hmph! And also space and frowny face

I'm sorry that Jeremy made out with me at the party

But it was totally his fault

And let's not let boys ever come between us ever again okay?

Smiley face, lipstick, kitty paw

[BROOKE]

Hey

[CHLOE]

We cool?

[BROOKE]

We are

[CHLOE]

Okay, so!

At the end of last night's party

Did you see Rich?

[BROOKE]

No, I was crying

[CHLOE]

So he's behaving weird and I was frightened

'Cause I feared his state was heightened

[BROOKE]

He's gotta learn to not really smoke a lot

He shouldn't get so high for a tiny guy

[BOTH]

He's gotta learn to not really smoke a lot

He shouldn't get so high for a tiny guy

[CHLOE]

Right, but, he wasn't high!

So you can't blame the things he did on pot

It's just so awful, so I'll talk about it a lot

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

I thought I was dreaming

Everybody was screaming!

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

Hey, Everybody! Have you heard?

Rich set a fire, now go send the word!

[CHLOE + (ENSEMBLE)]

Sending a text (Text!)

Sending a tweet (Tweet!)

Sending a text (Text!)

[CHLOE + JENNA + (ENSEMBLE)]

Tweet (Tweet!)

Release the information, step, and repeat!

[BROOKE + (ENSEMBLE)]

I'll spread the word! (Woooord!)

That Rich is flecked (Flecked?)

No, I meant fucked

Did I say 'flecked'?

Sorry guys, that's just my auto-correct

(Always be aware of auto-correct!)

[ALL]

R-I-C-H

Can't you see?

Just how much I care about your tragedy

Change my profile pic to you

Now I fully understand what you're going through

R-I-C-H

It's a drag

I read, she read, they read you're in a body bag

R-I-C-H

Can't you see?

Just how much I love your tragedy

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Sup! Sup! Sup! Sup!

FIRE!

Hey! (Ha!)

Talk it, text it, pass it, talk it!

(Bickering)

Woaaaaah

Ready? Okay

Here we go!

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! (Woah)

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

It was so terribly gory

I got the whole bloody story

Yeah, I wasn't quite there

But I know what happened I swear!

[JENNA + CHLOE + BROOKE]

When Rich set a fire and he burned the house down

When Rich set a fire and he leveled the town

[ALL]

When Rich set a fire and he fled to Bombay

When Rich set a fire 'cause he knew he was gay

When Rich set a fire and he melted his head

When Rich set a fire and he's totally dead

When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Burned it down! (Woah)

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

Burned it down! (Woah)

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Burned it down! (Woah)

Did ya hear? Did ya hear?

That Rich set a fire and he burned down the-

Rich set a fire and he burned down the-

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house

[JENNA + CHLOE + BROOKE]

He told me cause he's my best friend!

[ALL]

Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Send!

## Featured Characters

* Jenna Rolan

* Chloe Valentine

* Brooke Lohst
* Madeline
* Madeleine
* Katrina
* Thalia
* Awkward Gay Boy