Episode Forty-Four: Ashes, Ashes

In which we all fall down. Featuring: a cacophony of voices.

**Episode description:** *An unlit match is a terrible thing*.

## Episode Overview

*I was a tear shed / for the ones that died believing–*

#### **Trigger Warnings**

* ***GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SUICIDE***, abuse, arguments, death, unreality, distortion, crying, anxiety attacks, panic attacks.

## Episode Summary

This episode begins with  Mabel talking to  Lily, who's words are garbled and unclear. Mabel says that the house is more hers than it is Lily's, and screams at her to leave her alone. As a scuffle sounds out, Mabel screams that Lily will burn, and that "he" (presumably The King) will burn and kill her.

Cutting off to Aurora Silver, we find her on the phone with Violette, who has not been answering her calls. She says she's been having computer troubles. Aurora scolds her for it.

Over to  Anna, we find her monologuing about trying to find Mabel.  Janet and  Lolo are near her, whispering among themselves about what exactly Anna is doing. Janet offers Anna a Caprisun and Anna waves her off, asking her about El Segundo. Lolo explains that it was a residential school for rich girls, filled with institutional abuse. Janet says it burned for an entire day, but no one could figure out how the fire started. After discussing what was found in the  vice-dean's room, Anna mutters "girl-ouroboros" to herself. She explains that that was one of Mabel's nicknames. Janet asks if Mabel is dead or not, and Anna calls her stupid, which Lolo gets offended at. After they talk about whether or not Anna's alive, Anna breaks down slightly, saying it doesn't matter if she's dead or alive; if she's here, walking and talking and being *here*, that means Mabel can, in turn, be somewhere.

We cut to Cult 1 and Cult 2-- Brandon and  Jonathan, respectively-- when they began to record the King. Brandon asks if Jonathan can believe they're doing this, and Jonathan answers that he believes everything. Brandon goes to touch a vine in the room, which Jonathan says is brugmansia. Brandon says that it looks like it spells something, but it cuts off before he can say which particular word it resembles.

We cut off to Mabel, who is stuck somewhere-- at first a bower, then the House. She asks why anyone can't ever leave her alone, and talks about the House collapsing inward; she is scared of something looming around her to "remake [her] until she is fit for purpose", making her smaller and having her thank her abusers for hurting her. She begins to cry, and asks for her father to help her.

We hear a countdown and then cut to Jonathan in the present day. He's speaking to Mabel, saying he had read her file (from when she was  a subject) when he was still in school. He says that even if he could have, he would not have saved her, because he was more concerned with following orders. Nonetheless, Jonathan has read the files of many subjects in an attempt to humanize them. He says that Aurora Silver thought Mabel was special, and that he knows he isn't-- he's a foot soldier and isn't ashamed of it. He says he would have died if he has been special like Mabel was, and knows that as a soldier, he has been put to "ill use." We hear him cutting his own skin, repeating that what he's saying isn't a confession. He apologizes to Mabel and begins to break down about what happened to both her and to Brandon; he says "This isn't a confession. This is an obituary.  *Get out.*" before noises of burning and a stag roaring overwhelm the soundscape. The episode ends.

## Continuity

**Please note that this section contains spoilers for later episodes of Mabel. Continue at your own risk.**

* The description of this episode (“In which *we* all fall down”) is a callback to Temporal Snake’s description (“In which *they* all fall down”). The change from “they” to “we” may be a reference to Mabel’s status as a former cult subject being clear in this season.
* Brugmansia is a member of the same family as nightshade. My wonderful plant expert friend Danny will explain more about what this means later !!
* “Get out” is also an important line for Thomas.
* We can assume that Mabel’s talking about the King when she asks for her father to help her, as on the official tumblr, Maybell Marten refers to the King specifically as her father. Though Thomas has also been referred to as Mabel’s father (by Anna), the term has never been used for him by Mabel herself.

## Trivia

**Please note that this section contains spoilers for later episodes of Mabel. Continue at your own risk.**

* The exchange between Brandon and Jonathan takes place sometime before Chimera, as by that point the two of them have hooked up and checked their computers.