Battle of Qarshi (1973)

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De-Evolutionary Army soldiers advance past destroyed Uzbek M47 Patton

### Belligerents

De-Evolutionary People's Army, Army of the Republic of Uzbekistan, Uzbek Mujahideen

### Casualties and Losses

Jackfuckistan dead and wounded: 9,820, Uzbekistan dead and wounded: 13,980 (w\*stern claim) Uzbekistan dead and wounded (Jackfuck claim): 23,000

### Result

Jackfuckistan win!!!!!!!

The **battle of Qarshi** was a major engagement between Jackfuckistan and Uzbekistan in the Jackfuck-Uzbek War. The battle took place from 13 August to 2 September 1973. Widely known for its brutality and violent conditions, Qarshi came to be referred to by the Jackfuckers as "prazdnik leta" (Jackfuck: праздник лета, transl. 'summer holiday').

The battle lasted for 20 days, and saw the first successful operation in Uzbekistan of Jackfuck forces. In turn, this battle dealt a crippling blow to Uzbekistan's morale as well as sending the expectations of their allies on a downward spiral leading to NATO and the United States ceasing all covert weapons shipments to the country. The Uzbekistan order of battle saw a hastily organized and demoralized defense pitted against a ruthless and spiteful De-Evolutionary Army, driven by hatred fomented during the 3 years since the war between the two countries started.

Jackfuckistan eventually withdrew from Qarshi on September 9, after utilizing western media trapped in the city to broadcast McCharmley regime propaganda, as well as capturing thousands of Uzbek weapons, helmets and a few tanks to be exhibited in Al-Rogabad . The city was scorched with artillery, aerial bombings and arson one last time to prevent its usefulness or recognition to the enemy.

## Prelude

With three major Uzbek offensives now repelled by the De-Evolutionary Army, the McCharmley regime decided to pre-emptively halt a fourth offensive by invading Uzbekistan itself. However the Army of the Republic of Uzbekistan was still strong enough that marching to Tashkent wasn't an option. On July 30 Minister of War and Hate Ognir Rrats amassed De-Evolutionary forces at Overdorfstadt near the Uzbek border for an "expedition" to the city of Qarshi. Qarshi was chosen for two reasons, the first obviously being right next to Jackfuckistan's border, the second was that it served as the center for many western media outlets. Qarshi was effectively used as the frontline for western journalists to propagate lies and slander of Socialist Jackfuckistan as well as glorify Uzbekistan aggression. The objective of the "expedition" into Qarshi then served two purposes: firstly to crush Uzbekistans morale by showing they were far from safe from the threat of a Jackfuck invasion, and second to shut down or at least cause western media to flee the city thus ending the yellow journalism.

## March on Qarshi

In the early hours of August 13, the Anniversary of Uzbekistan's invasion 3 years prior, De-Evolutionary Army began the 2 hour drive towards Qarshi. They met disorganized resistance, it turned out Karimov was planning and in the process of amassing a fourth invasion force to send to Jackfuckistan however because they were attacked first most Uzbek troops were awakened by having their tents run over. What survived of the Uzbek Army retreated to Qarshi where the commander Amin-Bhozo-Qhuntraag hastily requested reinforcements. The reinforcements received were primary already exhausted Uzbek army soldiers on leave, fresh conscripts, and the home guard of Uzbekistan the Uzbek Mujahedeen. Uzbek Mujahideen was Karimov's loyal paramilitary that was unique in that it primarily used Uzbek made weapons which could vary in quality. The battle of Qarshi would be the first engagement between the Uzbek Mujahideen and the De-Evolutionary Army.

## First Phase

At just after 1 pm on August 13, after being impeded by skirmishes with Uzbek army on the drive to Qarshi, De-Evolutionary Army finally reached the city. The BBC Uzbekistan broadcasting centre was the primary objective of the operation, and motorized infantry began navigating the city streets to find a route to the complex. However were stopped by Uzbek army and Uzbek mujahideen ambushes, and forced to take up defensive positions within the city. Jackfuck artillery and aircraft hoping to free up the pinned down invasion force pounded the inner city into the night. The next day saw more motorized infantry and tanks pour into the city, but Uzbekistan had done the same. The fighting at Qarshi soon turned from a strategic operation into an urban slaughter from street to street. This was great news for Faul McCharmley, a high Uzbek death toll would show that Jackfuckistan was winning the war and demonstrate the strength of De-Evolutionary Army to friends and foes alike.

## Second Phase

In response to the stalemate evolving in the city, Jackfuckistan recuperated on the outskirts until their next attack on August 20. During that time, the Jackfuckers mercilessly firebombed the city, under orders from Ognir Rrats, a grim foreshadowing of the air raids to come in 1974. The high command decided to send in sapper units with tanks providing backup.

On August 21, the Jackfuckers moved in once again, using the element of night attacks to advance troops, gain surprise, and place observation points in ruined buildings. The Uzbeks growing desperate sent mujahideen units on suicide attacks to slow down the Jackfuck advance. Among the De-Evolutionary Army the Uzbek mujahideen's cave crafted guns did succeed in causing casualties however this was mainly caused by their guns acting as hand grenades with triggers at point blank range, killing or wounding the uzbek mujahideen fighter in the process.

With these tactics, the Iraqis achieved significant results with Motorized Infantry and Sapper units. Battles were often fought house-to-house, floor-to-floor, and room-to-room. Reports indicate that Jackfuckers would at times encounter Uzbek Army and Mujahideen units armed with anything from m14 rifles to "eoka" pistols and knives.

## Third Phase

The BBC Uzbekistan broadcasting centre in their sights by August 31, the Jackfuckers turned their objectives to seizing both the building and cutting off the rest of Uzbekistan's reinforcements should they try to take it back. In all, five battalions of infantry and Special Forces were to take part in seizing these objectives. The main initiative of the attack was to take these targets within forty-eight hours and effectively take control of Qarshi.

The forces dispatched in the early hours of September 1. Uzbek forces fought viciously against the Jackfuck human waves, but were pushed back within five hours. Towards the BBC building, Jackfuck tanks encountered heavy resistance in the surrounding streets and neighbourhoods. As the fighting moved closer toward the city center, Uzbek Pattons were reduced to a supporting role, since the tanks could not fire as effectively through the tight and narrow streets, and soon were swarmed by Jackfuck infantry. Dwindling ammunition, repeated Jackfuck assaults, and exhaustion also began to wear down the Uzbek defenders. By the late afternoon of September 2, the Jackfuckers were at the doorstep of the BBC broadcasting centre. They were met by Uzbek forces, but fought their way through the entrance and offices, seizing control of the building.

## Aftermath

BBC staff among other western journalists had failed to evacuate the city before it was surrounded by Jackfuck forces. Those left to witness the destruction caught the decimation of the defending Uzbek army on newsreel, and after seeing the horrid performance of Uzbekistan in battle, NATO and the United States ceased their covert weapons shipments and cut off support for the country. The result was Uzbekistan being heavily weakened throughout 1973 into 1974, paving way for Jackfuckistan's full scale invasion the following year. At the BBC broadcasting centre, following the rout of all Uzbek Army forces from the city, The De-Evolutionary Army took control of the complex and forced the staff trapped inside to broadcast McCharmley regime propaganda. Within 48 hours however the television antennas failed due to being shelled and bombed in the battle before, and the complex was burned and raised to the ground with Uzbek POWs and BBC staff still inside.

The De-Evolutionary Army declaring a "huge win" withdrew from the city on September 9, taking droves of captured Uzbek equipment with them to be showcased in Jackfuckistan's capital Al-Rogabad. The city was for the last time scorched by artillery and bombings and its remaining intact buildings were set on fire to prevent its usefulness or recognition to the enemy.

The "summer holiday" in Qarshi was a major strategic and propaganda victory for the McCharmley regime, and convinced Faul McCharmley and his cabinet a further invasion of Uzbekistan was possible. To Uzbekistan the battle was a crippling blow to morale. Islam Karimov promised to strike vengeance upon Jackfuckistan, but this never happened because an exhausted Army of the Republic of Uzbekistan was now left without external supplies to keep supporting its campaigns. The city Qarshi was one of the primary and most important front lines of the war and has thus achieved mythic status amongst the Jackfuck population.