The Mailman

These SPORTS SCREAMS are SLAYING each other in THE SEASON SLAY-OFFS aha-ha-ha-ha-ha. We have THE BOSTON DEAD SOX VS. THE CHICAGO FRIGHT SOX, and THE MILWAUKEE SPEWERS VS. THE BALTIMORE GORE-RIOLES aha-ha-ha-ha-ha. But BILE, I watch these two GHOULISH-GAMES, tonight's SLAY-BOOK is about a mailman who DE-SHIVERS a HORRIFYING-HACKAGE, called...

It was a sunny day back in the Spring of 1956, a mailman walked up a sidewalk on a hill in a neighborhood out, in southern-California. He whistled Polly Wolly Doodle, as he stopped walking and opened a mailbox. He put a few letter into it, closed it and walked away. Meanwhile, a man looked out the window of the house beyond the mailbox, then walked outside. He crossed the road, sneaking into the mailman's mail-truck. When the mailman got to his mail-truck, he got into it, and the man rose a knife from behind him in the back of the truck. He stabbed the mailman with it in the shadows, causing him to gasp and cough. The man killed the mailman, and as the dead body's head hung down, the guy opened a sack finding it full of money, then grabbed it, and took off quickly then. He ran back into the house and saw another man sitting on a sofa. "Well, Brother, I stabbed Mr. Anderson to death and found his money!" he said to the guy on the couch. "Nice work, Ron!" his brother replied to him. "Thanks, Jack, but it was your idea" Ron said to him, and sat down next to him on the couch. "Yeah it was. I knew Mr. Anderson had to be loaded as a mailman Ron" Jack said and looked into the sack that Ron held. "You got that right Jack woohoo" Ron said to him, looking into the bag too then. Jack drank a bottle of Jim Beam Whiskey.

Two months later, Ron and Jack were walking within their neighborhood and smoking cigarettes together. "ThIs June day is pretty hot, Jack" Ron said to Jack. "Yeah, it sure is Ron. I'm goin' back into our house" Jack replied. "Alright, I'm gonna finish smoking my cigarette and then I'll be in" Ron Said and stopped walking at the one end of the neighborhood. Jack turned around and walked back into their house, as he smoked his own cigarette then. As Jack looked into the kitchen, the backdoor was wide-open. He went into the kitchen then and the sounds of choking suddenly were heard from within that room. Meanwhile, Ron turned around and walked back to his home. Going into the house, he looked around the living room then. "Jack, where are ya at Brother?" Ron called, asking. Slowly, the living-dead zombie of the mailman stepped out of the kitchen, with half of his rotting-face missing. The blonde-straight-haired-zombie stepped over to Ron in its white mailman uniform. The half of its rotting-face oozed out yellow slime, and the living-dead man's one eye-socket was pitch-black, along with the inside of his rotting-mouth.

"MR. ANDERSON THE MAILMAN? GET THE HECK OUTTA MY HOUSE, YOU ARE DEAD!!!" Ron screamed in surprised-horror at the zombie. The zombie of Mr. Anderson The Mailman spoke in a distorted-voice, "Ron you idiot. You and your Brother Jack planned to kill me, and you did" to him. Ron ran into the kitchen and saw the dead body of Jack lying on its side on the floor. Ron screamed some more. The living dead zombie of Mr. Anderson The Mailman stepped slowly back into Ron's kitchen, as Ron ran, grabbing a knife from the table. The living-dead zombie came to Ron with its rotting-mouth hanging wide-open and grabbed Ron's wrist with one of his black-vein-covered-rotting-hands. Ron dropped the knife as Mr. Anderson squeezed his wrist, causing the sounds of snapping-bones to be heard. As Ron screamed out in pain, the zombie clutched his head with both black-vein-covered-rotting-hands, twisting it clear around, killing Ron instantly, with the sounds of more snapping-bones being heard. At dusk, Jack and Ron's mailbox was open and within it, was Ron's skull.

Looks like the zombie of Mr. Anderson The Mailman had quite THE SKULL in his line of work to make SPECIAL DELIVERIES ha-ha-ha-ha. He sure got A-HEAD in his duties with putting Ron's into the mailbox heh-heh-heh-heh! Talk about paying for GHOSTAGE hee-hee-hee-hee! What a MAIL SCARIER he is aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.