C2 E54

Well we survived our first obstacle in the caves beneath Rimeford. Who knows how long we have travelled but our bones are weary and our hearts are full because it feels like there is a settlement around the corner here, under ground! What joy!

## **Story**

### Long Story

Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I have a very hard time with the geography of this episode, like where everyone is. To get a lay of the land, there was a winding staircase, and one of the walls along that staircase was fake. T'Chuck, Selene, and JiMichael the dragon broke through that fake wall and were then slipping down a slide. At the end of that slide was a hole, which dumped them out into a sloped room with a pool of water. So, they are down there, and looking up at a hole in the ceiling. Also, last episode, R'Oarc had tied a rope up in the slide area, and jumped down the hole with the rope. So, she is down there with the others, and there's a dangling rope. Screech and Gertie are up above, back at the staircase part, I think. So, that's where everyone is at the top of the episode. Everybody cool so far?

Screech calls down if it's safe to follow them down, and they respond that, well yeah. But maybe don't do that. Maybe, in fact, they want to get up there with him. Going back would probably be better. So, T'Chuck, Selene, and R'Oarc grab onto the rope that R'Oarc brought down (or the one that Screech throws down to them, it's unclear), and begin climbing. The three of them are able to make it up the rope, and get to the slide part, up through the hole in the ceiling. So, there's the three of them at the bottom of this slide, standing before the hole that empties out to the pool of water. Screech and Gertie are still up the slide, at the stairs. But left behind in the pool of water is the dragon JiMichael.

Well, shit. Now what? While JiMichael has wings, he's unable to fly. Sure, he can glide, in a pinch, but a glide is not a fly, or else that Jeff Goldblum movie would have had a different title. Also, his hands aren't nearly dexterous enough to climb up the rope. JiMichael's hands, not Jeff's hands. I'm sure Jeff could climb any rope he wants. I'm distracting myself. JiMichael is somehow able to tie the rope around himself, and so T'Chuck, Selene, and R'Oarc all pull with all of their might. So heavy is the dragon, that it almost causes the three of them to loose their footing, and go tumbling back down. But they don't, mostly due to T'Chuck's girth. They're still on the slide, but slipping, slowly, toward the hole.

Selene casts *Maximillian's Earthen Grasp* to create a giant, earthen hand, which reaches up and earthenly grasps JiMiachael, so he's no longer falling. She also lets go of the rope, but they're all still sliding down the slide. Then there's some discussion about where the hand is, and what it's doing. And they make more Athletics rolls to not fall down the hole, into the water pool. Selene and R'Oarc fail, so they do in fact go tumbling, but T'Chuck keeps his footing. He's still holding onto the rope, and Michael says that he's "holding everybody", so it sounds like Selene and R'Oarc grabbed onto the rope, too. But Selene and R'Oarc failed their roles, so they decide that this means they just want tumbling ass over tea kettle. They're now both down in the pool again. They may have their fall cushioned by Selene's Hand, but maybe not? Who knows?

Meanwhile, Screech (sans Darkvision Goggles) and Gertie are still at the top of the slide, at the staircase. Screech decides to go tumbling down the stairs/slide, to get to his friends. He does it in a safe, graceful way, but makes it look like he's hurting himself. It's an extremely Jar Jar Binks scenario. He falls, and I think goes all the way through the hole, into the pool. T'Chuck, who decides that he's not strong enough for all these rope-based shenanigans, lets go of the rope, which drops JiMichael back into the pool, guided safely by Selene's hand. Then it gets confusing again, because T'Chuck asks if they want to try to get back up again, and Selene responds that she's already "up here". Where? Up at the top of the hole? I thought she fell down? T'Chuck says that "50% of the people who matter are up here." Michael says that Gertie is "upstairs", and T'Chuck comments "3 of us upstairs, 3 of you down there." So, they're at the staircase now? I thought they were at the edge of the hole, at the bottom of the slide. What's happening?

R'Oarc wants to go exploring in the tunnel, the one that Drider disappeared into. T'Chuck is against that, so he shoves Selene down through the hole, and then jumps in himself. Thank god, everyone's in the pool of water. I can stop thinking about this now. Jeez, I was tearing my hair out trying to make sense of this whole thing. Glad that's over with.

...

Wait, what about Gertie?

Oh, well. With Gertie maybe left behind, and with no way to get JiMichael up that hole, they decide to press onward, and go through the tunnel. Together, they make their way through the dark caverns, with T'Chuck and R'Oarc leading, and Selene and Screech taking up the rear. At one point, they are nearly attacked by what they think at first is a stalactite, but is actually a roper. But it looks at the time of this episode and decides not to.

As the party continues on, they begin to see some stuff. Support beams, old torches. Essentially, signs of civilization. As the tunnels begin to open up, there begins to be bio-luminescent mushrooms that provide light to them. And then, they find something truly weird.

Buildings. A bunch of them. And one of them appears to resemble their old haunt, The Goblin Pit! It's older, though. A few years back, T'Chuck had helped to install a new porch on the Goblin Pit, but here, it's missing. Another Goblin Pit? Was Ratma Ritmo franchising? Without telling anyone!?! Actually, there appears to be a light flickering from inside it. R'Oarc casts *Invisibility* on T'Chuck, who stealthily approaches the tavern. He peers into a window, and sees... a familiar Goblin woman. It's Ratma Ritmo!

T'Chuck abandons all pretense of stealth, and barges into the tavern. He greets Ratma, who's happy to see him. She's not surprised, although does ask what took so long. She seems to have been expecting them. T'Chuck asks just what the heck is going on around here, and she explains.

This place is called Mineford, a name Ratma coined herself. It was built as a kind of "retirement plan" for Ratma, though it doesn't exactly seem to be working out so well. For one thing, business is terrible. Despite being underground, Mineford is perfectly situation between a series of civilizations that make their home in these tunnels. She points out some nearby settlements/villages, and there's no way I'm going to spell these correctly. Off in one direction, the city of "Gunthroguard" houses the Svirfneblin (Deep Gnomes), a couple miles away. The opposite direction, a little further away, is "Morendarith", home of the Duergar (Grey Dwarves). And there's also access to the surface world. Business should be booming. But, due to to the Drider that they'd met last episode, folks aren't exactly too keen on the idea of venturing out into these tunnels for a drink. But maybe, if the group could go track down the Drider, and kill it, things would start to brighten up around here. And don't feel too bad about killing the Drider. Their lives are unending torment. An old god, Lolth, would turn mortals into Driders as punishment for their crimes. They'd actually be doing it a favor by killing it!

Also, there's the whole JiMichael thing. Right now, he's a drunken mess, barely able to string a sentence together. But, according to Ratma, he's not really like that, deep down. Somewhere, through the cloud of alcohol constantly surrounding JiMichael, there's an intelligent, strong, sexy draconic presence waiting to be set free. But how to reach that version of JiMichael? R'Oarc casts *Detect Thoughts* on him to read his mind. His surface level thoughts are "shocking and depraved", and when she tries to delve deeper, she's shut out. The only thing she was able to glimpse was a scene where JiMichael, laying in bed, is visited by another JiMichael. The less left said about that, the better.

Anyway, they're not gonna get through to JiMichael that way. They'll need help, and fortunately, Ratma knows just the guy to turn to. His name is The Abbott, and he can be found in a place called "The Cloister". Tomorrow morning, she'll give them a map to find The Abbott, but be warned! The Abbott's a wise man, who can see through just about anything. And he may not work for free. There's a good chance that he'll ask for something in return...

Ratma sends them all off to bed, warning them that they have a big day ahead of them...

### Short

After a bunch of shenanigans, the party makes it down to the cave with a pool in it. They climb out of the water, and press on into the tunnels. Eventually, they make it to a kind of underground city. In that city is a tavern that looks just like The Goblin Pit. In fact, it is another Goblin Pit, and inside that, is Ratma Ritmo. She welcomes them all to Mineford! This is a city she's been working on for years, although ever since the Drider showed up, people have been scared to come here. She wants to know if it would be possible for the party to kill the Drider and bring its head back here. Also, she gives them a mission to help J'Michael. His drunken, foolish stupor is not his normal, default state. He's got a problem, but Ratma can't help him. The only one who can, is someone named "The Abbott", in a place called "The Cloisters". They all go to sleep.

## **Trivia**

* Day 15 of the campaign.
* JiMichael can't climb, or fly. He could glide, but he can't fly. He can also tie.
* It's decided that Screech gave the Darkvision Goggles to Milton Graves, so he no longer has those.
* Ratma's toenails are poisonous even to Ratma herself.
* The Goblin Pit in Mineford has no food. It's all gone bad. Well, that's why you don't have any customers, Ratma! It has nothing to do with the Drider at all!

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
* Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
* Nika Howard - R'Oarc
* Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo

### **Non-Player Characters**

* JiMichael
* Gertie
* Ratma Ritmo

### **Locations**

* Drunkeros
	+ Whispering Peaks
		- The tunnels below the mountain
		- Mineford
			* The Goblin Pit (Mineford)

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [NEW][Active] - Restore Mineford to it's true potential
	+ [NEW][Active] - Find and kill the Drider in the tunnels
* [NEW][Active] - Restore JiMichael to his true potential
	+ [NEW][Active] - Find The Abbott in The Cloister
		- [NEW][Active] - Convince The Abbott to cure JiMichael, somehow
* [Complete?] - Escape The Order
	+ [Complete?] - Smuggle JiMichael out of the city
* [Optional] - Return for Skin Kyle
* [Abandoned?] - Stop The Cult of Ugnos
	+ [Abandoned?] - Investigate Thistledown

### **Quotes**

* **"I'm googling if that elephant is dead now."** ~ *Mike Bachmann*

* **"You've probably saved us from taking JiMichael-force damage as fall, and I am thankful for that. And also, 'JiMichael Force Damage' is a pretty sick name for something."** ~ *Tim Lanning*

## **Rolls**

* Everyone rolls *Athletics* to climb a wet rope
	+ **T'Chuck** - 17
		- Success - He climbs up the rope.
	+ **Selene** - 15
		- Success - She climbs up the rope.
	+ **R'Oarc** - 17
		- Success - She climbs up the rope.

* Everyone roll *Athletics* again to pull JiMichael up with the wet rope
	+ **Screech** - Nat 1
	+ **R'Oarc** - Nat 1
	+ **Selene** - 12
	+ **T'Chuck** - 19
		- JiMichael gets halfway up, but then everyone begins to slip down the slide.

* **T'Chuck** makes another *Athletics* check to see if he can hoist everyone up - 19
	+ Success - He's able to juuuuuust barely keep them from falling

* **R'Oarc** makes a roll to not fall on her ass - 5
	+ She falls onto her ass

* **Screech** rolls *Acrobatics* to fall gracefully down the stairs, without hurting himself - 22
	+ Success - He falls down Drunken-Master style
* He then rolls *Performance* to pretend to fall down the stairs ungracefully, with hurting himself - 16
	+ Pretty good - They buy it

* Some of the party roll *Perception* to see if there's any movement in the tunnel city
	+ **Selene** - 15
	+ **T'Chuck** - 15
	+ **R'Oarc** - 19
		- There's no movement, other than in the "Goblin Pit"

* **T'Chuck** rolls *Stealth* to sneak up onto the "Goblin Pit" (with Advantage) - Nat 20 + 4
	+ Success - He sneaks up to the window

* **T'Chuck** rolls *History* to see if he knows if what Ratma's saying checks out - 12 or 18
	+ He's heard the names of the cities, but only as legends

* **JiMichael** makes a DC 14 *Wisdom* Saving Throw to resist R'Oarc's *Detect Thoughts* - 16
	+ Success - He resists her invasive attempts