Clyde's Sunburn/Transcript

**CAUTION:** Not everything in the script may sound suitable.

* (starts with Tommy and his friends, Gus, Lola, Katie, and Clyde at the beach having a good time, where Katie is surfing the waves)
* Katie: Cowabunga! Look mom, no hands! (Lola and Clyde are seen playing with a beach ball in the water)
* Clyde: Catch this, Lola!
* Lola: Okay, Clyde. (Clyde tosses the beach ball into the air and Lola catches it) I never thought playing with a nudist would be fun. (Tommy and Gus are building sandcastles)
* Gus: Your sandcastle is looking great, Tommy.
* Tommy: Same to you. (Clyde and Lola come out of the water) So, Clyde, how did the water feel?
* Clyde: It's almost like being back in the jungle. Maybe these city things aren't so bad after all.
* Lola: I'm gonna go get a tan now. You wanna join me, Tommy?
* Tommy: I would love too. (they heat to their seats)
* Clyde: Tanning? What's tanning?
* Lola: Sun tanning or simply tanning is the process whereby skin color is darkened or tanned. Don't you want to join us?
* Clyde: Why I would love to. (runs to them)
* Lola: (grabs out her sunscreen) You're gonna need some sunscreen.
* Clyde: Sunscreen? What's that?
* Tommy: Sunscreen or sunblock is what you use to prevent getting sunburnt.
* Clyde: Hmm, where can I find me some sunscreen? (looks around and sees two beachgoers) Excuse me, girls?
* Beachgoer #1: Hey look, Lila, it's the wild kid from the jungle.
* Beachgoer #2: What do you want, naked wild child?
* Clyde: I'm trying to look for sunscreen so I can get a tan.
* Beachgoer #2: Didn't anyone ever tell you that sunscreen is for sissies!
* Beachgoer #1: Why don't you try getting a tan without any sunscreen? (they both laugh and leave as Clyde starts thinking)
* Clyde: You know what? They're right, I don't need any sunscreen! (gets onto a seat next to Lola)
* Lola: Clyde, aren't you gonna get any sunscreen?
* Clyde: Nope, sunscreen is for sissies. I'm gonna stay out here all day and get a great tan. (lies in the beach chair in front in the sun)
* Tommy: Sunscreen is for sissies? Who told him that?
* (sometime later, it was time for them to go home and Tommy and the others pack up their things)
* Gus: Does anybody know where Clyde is?
* Lola: He's still out and about getting a hot tan. Look. (by that point, Clyde has fallen asleep)
* Tommy: We better go wake him up.
* Katie: I can do that! (rushes over to him) Hey, Clyde, wake up! (gently touches him on the shoulder, but Clyde wakes up in agony)
* Clyde: OW!! I'm up! What? What?!
* Lola: Look at yourself. You're as red as a lobster.
* Clyde: What are you talking about?
* Bambi: Hey, look, there's Clyde the Wild Boy, not only is he naked, but also burned from the sun! (laughs)
* Clyde: What is she talking about?
* Tommy: Look at yourself. (hands him a mirror)
* Clyde: (screams) I'm sunburned! (tries to get up but he feels pain) Ow! (paints) It hurts a lot! I can't even get out of this chair. Tommy! (pants) I don't think I can get back to the jungle looking like this! Can I please stay at your house for a while?
* Tommy: Sure.
* Clyde: Just one thing.
* Tommy: What?
* Clyde: Help me get out of this chair! Gently, though.
* Lola: Okay, come on guys.
* (sometime later, Clyde is lying bare naked on Tommy's bed while sunburned)
* Clyde: Oh, Tommy! It hurts so much!
* Tommy: The sunburn or the humilation?
* Clyde: Both. And the worse part of it was. There was nothing I could've done to prevent it. (groans) Do you have any Aloe Vera?
* Gus: What?
* Clyde: Aloe Vera, it's a cream that helps sooth down the pain of the sunburn.
* Tommy: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't have any.
* Clyde: Well, that's just great! How am I gonna get home now? I can barely even move or even find anything to wear.
* Tommy: I think you just need to relax and stay here a while until I can find some Aloe Vera. Well, in the mean time, Lola and I gotta go.
* Clyde: Wait! Ow! Where are you going?
* Lola: We're going to see a movie. "Revenge of the Flesh Eating Snake!" We'll be back in a couple of hours.
* (as they leave Gus is still in the room)
* Clyde: What are you still doing here?
* Gus: I was just trying to read a comic.
* Clyde: Just go home.
* Gus: All right. (he runs off)
* Clyde: Hmm, maybe Tommy's right. Maybe it's wise if I just stay here and take it easy until my sunburn heals. Besides, what's the worse that can happen. (his trunk Lofty stiffens and becomes erect) Oh no! Come on, Lofty, not at a time like this! Oh!
* (meanwhile, Katie and Gus are back at the beach)
* Katie: I can't believe Clyde didn't put on any sunscreen before he even got a tan.
* Gus: Me neither. Who even told him not to put on any sunscreen anyway?
* Katie: I don't know. But I think it's time we oughta find out. Come on, Gus.
* (back in Tommy's bedroom, Clyde is still in bed, and his hard trunk is twitching)
* Clyde: I don't understand! How could Lofty get sexually aroused at a time like this?! Maybe it's because I've been naked all day. Well, sunburned or not, I still gotta touch it! (tries to reach his hand to it and touches the snout of the trunk but flinches) OUCH! Ugh! It's no use! (a knock on the door is heard) Come in. (Debbie Turnbull enters) Oh, hi, Mrs. Turnbull.
* Debbie: Hello, Clyde. I heard about your sunburn incident. So i thought I might bring in a couple remedies.
* Clyde: Do any of them have Aloe Vera?
* Debbie: Sorry, Clyde. No. But I do have a glass of water for you to drink. (looks at his trunk) And I see you've got a hard on from being out in the sun.
* Clyde: That might be another reason why I feel aroused! Mrs. Turnbull, please, you gotta help me get rid of this erection! Would you please do it for me? I can't move!
* Debbie: Oh, come on, Clyde. You know I never do anything like that.
* Clyde: You gotta be kidding me! It's twitching even faster!
* Debbie: The answer is no, Clyde. Now, you drink some water and just try to relax and get use to your erection. I'll be downstairs watching TV. (she leaves)
* Clyde: I love having erections but not when I'm sunburned.
* (cut back to the beach where the beachgoers are tanning)
* Katie: Excuse me, but aren't you the girls who said that Clyde shouldn't be using any sunscreen.
* Beachgoer #1: Yeah, so? What's it to you?
* Gus: You girls are the ones responsible for making Clyde for not using sunscreen! Now he's stuck in bed all burned to a crisp.
* Beachgoer #2: We were just being saracastic. We never meant it when we said he shouldn't use sunscreen.
* Katie: Well that's still no excuse.
* Beachgoer #1: We know. Now go away, we're right in the middle of a tanning session.
* Katie: Ugh! They're no help.
* Gus: Wait a minute! Katie, I have an idea. Who do we know who could probably make the pain go away on Clyde's shame?
* Katie: (thinks for a moment) Janet Wolfgang! That's it! We'll go see Janet! Maybe she knows how to solve this.
* (meanwhile at the movie theater)
* Lola: Those snakes are deadly. I love this movie!
* Tommy: I just hope the main character of the film, Kansas Karl can stop him. Hmm, I wonder how Clyde is doing?
* (back at the house, Clyde is starting to sweat like crazy as the snout continues to twitch)
* Clyde: Try not to think about it! Try not to think about it! Try not to think about it! Oh, who am I kidding? It's no use! It's too hard I can't even get my mind off my hard-on! Where's Tommy?! Tommy, come back, you said you wouldn't be long! (Robotboy wakes up)
* Robotboy: Clyde? What you doing here?
* Clyde: Oh, Robotboy! Am I glad to see you? Listen, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to stroke my trunk, Lofty! I would do it myself, but I'm sunburned.
* Robotboy: (shrugs) Okay. (his arm reaches to the tip of the trunk, but it twitches)
* Clyde: OUCH! On second thought, don't touch Lofty! Ugh! Face it, the only way I can touch it is if I'm not so sunburned! Oh what am I going to do?
* Robotboy: Poor Clyde.
* (fade to Janet's training area where she's touching her toes)
* Janet: 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! (sighs) There. All my exercises are done for the day.
* Katie: Janet! Janet! We need your help.
* Janet: What's on your mind?
* Katie: Well, we were at the beach earlier, and Clyde had the nerve to not use sunscreen when he was trying to get a tan.
* Janet: Clyde? The same kid who has a crush on me?
* Gus: The same.
* Katie: And now he's stuck in bed bare naked at Tommy's house! Can't you help us?
* Janet: Hmm. You know, I have just the thing he needs. Just a second. (goes inside of her house and then comes back) I've got Aloe Vera cream. I used this whenever I got sunburns. And I'm pretty sure this is what Clyde needs.
* Katie: That's what he wanted all day long!
* Janet: Well then, I better head to the Turnbull house right away. Better get my whistle.
* Gus: What does she need her whistle for?
* Janet: You'll see.
* (cut back to the house, where Clyde is shaking like crazy)
* Clyde: I don't know how much more I can take of this. If I don't stroke it now, I'll go crazy! (knock at the door) Oh, great! Come in! (Janet opens the dooor)
* Janet: Clyde, it's me.
* Clyde: Janet Wolfgang! I'm so glad to see you! I can't take anymore of this dumb sunburn! I gotta stroke Lofty, or I'm gonna go crazy.
* Janet: No need to go crazy, because I've got the remedie right here. Aloe Vera, just the way you like it!
* Clyde: PLEASE! Please, put it on me!
* Janet: Okay, okay. Just hold on. (puts some on her hand) Just hold still, this may sting a little. (Clyde flinches, but soon starts to feel relief)
* Clyde: (sighs) I feel better already.
* Janet: And I see your trunk, Lofty likes it too. (the trunk twitches)
* Clyde: That reminds me! Now I can finally get rid of this erection!
* Janet: Oh yeah, the erection. Well then, come outside.
* (fade outside where Clyde is sitting outside putting sunscreen on himself)
* Janet: I usually tell my students to make friends with the pain, but with that pain you were in, oh no way!
* Clyde: No kidding! I'm finally starting to peel.
* Janet: Well then, do you think your ready to masturbate?
* Clyde: Ready as always.
* Janet: Okay. Ready......get set.........(takes a deep breath and blows very hard on her whistle signalling Clyde to stroke his trunk)
* Clyde: I don't know why I had to wait so long for this! It feels so much better than usual!
* Janet: Well this is what happens when you stay on in the sun too long. You get sexually aroused.
* Clyde: (starts to sweat) Oh! I never realized moisterizing it would make it more aroused! I love it! I LOVE IT, BABY! (strokes it even harder) I'm gonna squirt! I'm gonna squirt! Stand back, Janet. I'm gonna squirt soon!
* Janet: Come on, Clyde, you can do it!
* Clyde: It's so hard! (groans and in slow motion, hot white water squirts out of the trunk's snout, when the scene goes back to normal speed, Clyde pants and then faints)
* (fade to black and fade back to the bathroom where Clyde wakes up and finds himself in the bathtub)
* Clyde: W-wh-where am I?
* Debbie: You're in the bathroom, Clyde. After you masturbated and passed out, I noticed your skin was starting to peel, so I decided to give you a nice warm bath.
* Clyde: Mrs. Turnbull, you are more than kind. But where is Janet?
* Debbie: You mean the gym teacher, she went home. She told me to give you this. Your very own Aloe Vera.
* Clyde: My very own Aloe Vera. Gee, thanks Debbie.
* Debbie: I'll pick you up in a few minutes for you to dry off. (she leaves the bathroom) Oh, Lola and Tommy, I see you came back.
* Tommy: Have you seen Clyde?
* Lola: We just came back from the movies and bought him some Aloe Vera.
* Debbie: Oh, he's having a nice bath in the bathroom. But you don't need to get him any Aloe Vera, your PE teacher already gave it to him.
* Tommy: Oh.
* (sometime later, Clyde is now outside drying himself off and wrapping the towel all around his waist and talking to Lola and Tommy)
* Clyde: And then I stroked it harder and harder and I passed out, and I woke up in the bathroom, and Janet left without even saying thank you.
* Lola: You got a hard-on while you were stuck here alone! Oh, we should've came back a lot more sooner.
* Clyde: But then she left me some Aloe Vera of my very own and some sunscreen for the next time I go to the beach.
* Tommy: I'm glad you learned your lesson, Clyde. Sunscreen is very important.
* Lola: Only the dumbest people could go without sunscreen!
* Bambi: Oh no! I forgot my sunscreen! I'm all sunburned! Ouch! Ow! Yeow! Ouch! Hot hot hot!
* Clyde: (laughs) She deserved it. (laughs a little more and looks down) Oh, uh, oops.
* Lola: Uh, Clyde, you got an erection.
* Clyde: Don't you worry, Lola, it happens all the time. Now that I'm mobile again, I'll just sit down and stroke it, and it will be just as good as new. (sits on the floor) Can't wait to take the Aloe Vera and sunscreen home. (strokes his trunk)
* Tommy: Clyde, not only a wild boy, but also a nudist.
* Lola: Yeah. (laughs) Can I stay over tonight?
* Tommy: Yes, you can. Come on. (they leave as Clyde continues stroking)
* Clyde: I love being a wild boy. (strokes some more and fade to black)