94.1 MHz Steel Pants Radio

"Steel Pants Radio", also known as "FM 94.1" is a talk and rock music radio station hosted by ***Shane***. It is found on the FM frequency 94.1 on the Radio.

## Host

Steel Pants Radio is hosted by Shane, who also operates Neon Synth Radio.

Shane discusses his loneliness in the studio in various radio segments, sometimes calling out to a nonexistent producer he calls "George". He also seems to have an great admiration for beer, as he consistently discusses it and, in one segment, recommends his favourite beer to listeners.

At one point, Shane tells listeners about what he does while drinking beer, including arguing with his wife. However, as is heard in the contents of Neon Synth Radio, Shane calls out to a woman named "Jennifer", who most likely is not real as he has said on Steel Pants Radio that he is all alone in the studio. Therefore, there is a high probability that Jennifer is simply just a Rubber Doll, which is also referred to as a Rubber Wife, hinting at Shane's wife being Jennifer the Rubber Doll.

## Radio Segments

#### "UFOs"

**Transcript:**

(explosion sound effect and Steel Pants Radio signature guitar riff plays)

Steel Pants Radio. FM 94.1. Steel Pants Radio News.

(news intro music starts playing)

Good day, everyone, we are bringing you some fresh news. Did you guys see the strange lights in the sky? I don't know, man, but it seems that somehow more and more weird lights started appearing in the sky. I don't know about you guys, but they seem pretty scary to me. If someone knows what those lights are, please call us and explain. That would be nice.

In some other news, a few of the surviving peoples started organizing a new police-like force that should clean up the streets as they say, especially that long road. Well, we are quite happy to hear this honestly, because the streets, especially that long road, needs to be taken care of. There are just far too many weird things happening and some of the survivors even reported some weird behaving mutant-like people that seem pretty dangerous. It seems like the world is getting a lot more scarier since the apocalypse started, weird lights in the sky, mutant people, I mean, what else man? The last thing we need are some weird creatures or something like that. No no no no no, please.

Moving on, it seems that most of the abandoned cars are not American and I don't really know why. People reported having problems with these weird European vehicles, I mean, I'm not used to driving manual myself, but some of them have the manual stick next to the wheel. I mean, my god, how am I supposed to drive that one? Not to mention you have to put oil in the gas tank also, like, come on, man!

In some other news, a strange old man was found dead near a well next to a gas station, but witnesses say they cannot get near the guy, everyone who tried to take the corpse away died for some reason. Talk about the world getting more weird, huh?

Let's talk about the planes in the sky. Where are they going? Like, where is the airport? I mean, I am the radio host, I should know things like this, but this- if someone knows, please call us, okay?

(electrical sound effect)

Now, for the weather. The weather seems it does not really want to change. We could really use rain now. We had callers before who said it was raining but I just could not believe them. If someone lives in a place where it's raining, please call us or record it somehow, okay?

Okay, now enough of the chit-chat, this is not Chat 'Til You Die radio, although I think that the guy who's hosting it is pretty cool. Bring on the music! But, wait, wait-- we have a caller on another topic. Uhh, which we have talked about before. Someone is calling us because he knows what those lights in the sky are. Now, I am curious, my man. Hello, this is Steel Pants Radio, and my name is Shane. Do you have any information about those lights in the sky?

(garbled, indistinct alien noises for 46 seconds from 2:56 to 3:42)

(In a slightly robotic voice) I don't know what this voice was, but I have to play you the next music. Play the next music, please.

#### **"News"**

**Transcript:**

(news intro music starts playing)

This is Radio Steel Pants News, the latest news, for you! Today, its hotter than ever, and yeah, basically that's all I can say. Seriously, I wanted to tell you some news, but since 90% of the population died in the apocalypse I can't really tell you anything. But, I can bring you some amazing ball-busting rock music. Listen to this!

#### "Sick"

**Transcript:**

(signature Steel Pants Radio guitar riff plays)

Hey, it's me Shane, and you're listening to (coughing) Steel Pants Radio... (coughing) ...on 94.1.

(interlude sound effect)

Sorry there, dudes, I'm a bit sick. You know, lately I think you can get all kinds of sicknesses out there. I saw a few weird looking dudes just the other day. they looked like zombies or some sort of mutants, they were quite frightening actually. But I know what they need: they should drink a nice bottle of beer. That would turn them back to normal, I guess. (laughing and coughing)

(electrical sound effect)

You know what else is weird, my friends? I rarely see some good old American cars. You know, these European shitboxes they left here are just a bit slow. I know, I know, some of them look quite good, and they run on much less fuel than the American cars, but still I miss them. And you know what else I miss? Good f\*cking music. Hit it!

#### "Beer"

**Transcript:**

(electrical sound effect)

Steel Pants Radio, FM 94.1.

(electrical sound effect)

If you are wondering, how the hell is the host of the Steel Pants Radio such a badass, amazing guy? Well, I think I should tell you. I'm drinking the Hungarian lónyál beer. It is the best of beers, the badass beer, the most strongest beer ever. It has almost 7% alcohol in it, so it is pretty strong. I drink it all the time, let me tell you guys, I'm drinking while I play a song for you guys here, I am drinking it while on the toilet, I drink it in the car, I drinking it when I'm near or far, I am drinking while I, well, you know, my wife argues with me all the time. You know, it is just the best. And just so you know, this was not a paid commercial, I really, really, like this beer. This is why I said all this. Okay now, next song, coming up!

(Shane pops open the bottle and takes a sip)

#### "Rabbits"

**Transcript:**

Steel Pants Radio. Watch out, cos if the sun comes up... (explosion sound effect) ...your pants will be burning hot.

(electrical interlude sound effect)

Thinking about changing the channel? Better not. Steel Pants Radio.

(electrical sound effect and guitar lick)

Hello there, my rockin' amigos. It is so good to be here, and just being alive. I mean, the world is pretty harsh out there, so it's kind of a privilege to be alive. I was thinking about these rabbits that popped up some time ago. They seem pretty strange. I haven't seen rabbits for a while now. I used to love rabbits. I mean, for dinner, or for breakfast, you know. Rock n' roll.

(electrical sound effect and guitar lick)

But, it seems to me, maybe they are taking revenge now. I mean, we- we received a call from a man that was being chased around by this huge rabbit, and eventually the rabbit ate the guy. It just devoured him. So, watch out when you are out there, will ya? Oh, how do we know about it? That the animal ate the guy? Well, we heard the whole thing through the phone. (laughing, then clearing throat) It was pretty sad, actually. But let's lighten up the mood with some rock music.

#### "Caller - Ben"

**Transcript:**

This is FM 94.1, Steel Pants Radio. And we have a caller, it has been a while since someone called us. And why should you call us? Well, just to say you're alive of course! We're happy if we hear that someone is alive. Good day to you sir, how are you?

Ben: Erm, yeah, my name is Ben and I would like to ask where my mother is, because she left to get me some food, but she never came back.

Shane: Oh boy, how old are you, my man?

Ben: I am 7, and my mother has gone away but she never came back. She left with a car that needs oil in the gas tank also. I think they call it a two-stroke.

Shane: Um, yeah, I heard about that shit, my son, lots of people from Europe left their fucking idiotic cars here.

Ben: My mom said there is no Europe and there is no USA, there is just one big desert. Is that true?

Shane: Whatever you say, my boy. Keep waiting for your mother, I'm sure he will be back once he figures out how to drive that fuckin' two-stroke car. Call me back when that happens, will ya?

Ben: Um... okay, but--

(phone disconnects)

And, bye bye! That was our caller. Um, seriously George, we should send someone out to the kid- oh, wait, I'm alone, no one is here. Well, have to keep the show running! Back to the rock music!

#### "We Had a Caller Before"

**Transcript:**

Good day, everyone. This is Steel Pants, the only rock radio for guys or girls with steel pants. We had a caller before, but sadly he died because of radiation, so he couldn't call us back, but we wish all the best for his family of course, if they are not already some skeletons themselves.

Our next song will be hot just like the weather outside, so open your ears, and your soul, but close your eyes because, well you know, the sand out there gets into everywhere, even in your steel pants. Hit it, George! Of course, I am the only one working here, but I like to pretend I have co-workers. Go!

#### "Caller - Legless"

**Transcript:**

This is Steel Pants Radio, FM 94.1. Steel Pants Radio.

Hey, hey, hey there, my rocking friends! It is me, Shane, the guy who does not like rain. (laughing) But, the sun is shining at least here where I work, uhh, or are these the studio lights? Well, it doesn't matter, I guess. I have some amazing news for you. Today we spotted an airplane on the sky, how amazing is that? It seems that the planes are still flying, at least some of them. And, you know, planes are made out of steel, just like our pants, and our balls inside our pants, hahaha. Even if you are a girl. Anyways, we have a caller. Good day to you, my rocking sir! How are you?

Caller: Yeah, um, do you have any beer?

Shane: Sorry my friend, but you called Steel Pants Radio, of course we have beer over here, but I can't give you any, it's against the rules.

Caller: Rules? What rules? How can you make rules against beer, you idiot?

Shane: Woah there, fella. That's no way to talk to a fuckin' amazing radio host like me.

Caller: Radio host. Didn't I call the nearest pub? I... I can't get out of my house cos I have no legs, but I need a beer. Can you get me any?

Shane: You know what, dude? It's your lucky day. We here at Steel Pants Radio really like guys who drink beer. Give me your address, and we'll send some over to you.

Caller: Uhh, cool. My address... I'm in the middle of a fucking desert, next to a cacti and some rocks. You know, rocks. (laughing) Rocks. Rocks are cool. They rock.

Shane: Right on, my friend. The beer should be on its way now. Have a good day, my legless friend! At least you will be not beer-less.

(Shane and caller laugh)

Steel Pants Radio.

And now the next song should totally blow your ears out, even if you got blinded by a nuclear blast or something, you still have your ears, I hope. Listen to this!

#### "End of the World"

**Transcript:**

This is Steel Pants Radio, FM 94.1.

(signature Steel Pants Radio guitar riff plays)

Did you guys notice that the world got a bit prettier? Do you think sometime in the future, everything will get back to normal again? Wow, it would be so good! I cannot even imagine what things would be like if the whole end of the world situation didn't happen in 1979, you know. And the world could have developed further. There would be like a huge virtual space that could have been accessed from our computers. And, you know, we could have put pictures on there, pictures of our pooping dogs and babies and everyone could've watched it from all across the world. Wouldn't it be amazing? Posing teen girls, thousands of them. Well, I guess we never know what the world will be like anymore.

But, moving on to more positive news, it seems that the wildlife is starting to get back to normal again. I've seen a lot of animals when I was coming to the studio this morning, including rabbits. I think there will be plenty of food to eat in the future. And don't forget: eat beetroot, because it's healthy.

Steel Pants Radio.

(guitar riff plays)

#### "Bad at Biology"

**Transcript:**

You are listening to Steel Pants Radio. The only rock radio for boys who have big cahonies and girls who love boys with big cahonies.

(bottle sound effect and signature Steel Pants Radio guitar riff plays)

Hello everyone, it's me Shane, and it is a shame we have no callers now. But hey -- that said, there aren't many people on the Earth left, so, y'know... or maybe, there aren't many people who have phones. Do you guys have phones? Please call us or write us a letter. Somehow the post office seems to be working pretty nicely.

Anyways, what is with todays rock music? Back then, rockers were harder. They had bigger beards, bigger moustaches. Now they seem to be getting softer. Maybe as the size of their hairs shrinks, so does their balls shrink or something, eh, I don't know, man, I was very bad at biology.

#### "All over the place"

**Transcript:**

Steel Pants Radio

(A few seconds of Jingle Punks - Burnt plays)

Turn it up, bitch

(Another few seconds of Jingle Punks - Burnt plays)

So this guy confused a Hungarian sausage with an Italian one, but im asking you, why is that such a big problem? I mean, give the guy a break, how should he distinguish all these idiotic European countries from one another, especially now that they not even exist! I mean, can you tell me where Spain or Germany is? Of course you cant!

(A few more seconds of Jingle Punks - Burnt plays)

I mean, everything is all over the place man! The countries, the cars, hell even the people! Well, the remaining people that is, what is the guy's name again? George what is his name again? *Joeseppi.* Uh, Joeseppi, yeah, I think it's a cool name and he's a cool survivor, he puts in the effort y'know? He really tried. Almost died. Oh wait, i'm getting some Chat till' you die vibes again, Jason are you in my head again?

(Another few seconds of Jingle Punks - Burnt plays)

God I love that guy, he is like my dream brother, oh and by the way, I confuse food all the time too, I don't care what I eat! I just wanna keep a full rocking stomach, and I wanna hear rocking music! Hit it!

(Credit to Streiter for uploading the songs)