Paul F. Tompkins, Our Close Friend

**"Paul F. Tompkins, Our Close Friend"** is the fifth episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

## Earwolf Synopsis

Sean and Hayes share some of their stories from their friendship with Lewis Reed and why they are the only ones who have the right to be sad about his death. Then they reopen the Teaser Freezer to dish on the teaser for *That Awkward Moment*, starring Zac Afrin and Michael B. Jordan. Finally, PAUL F. TOMPKINS fills in at the last second to recall stories of the Honolulu underground comedy scene, tell us the difference between standup and funny movies, spill secrets of the ‘cast biz, and answer some piping hot questions from the Popcorn Gallery.

## Notes & Memorable Quotes

### Pre-Guest Segment

* Sean and Hayes were very upset at Lewis Reed's death. They had planned on having him as the guest, but had to bring Paul F. Tompkins in last minute instead.
* Sean reminisces over Lewis Reed's impact in his life. He remembered how for his disco themed 10th birthday party Lewis was late, and the party wasn't over quite yet. Lewis mentioned how this was the most perfect day (splash in the pool, spin the disco ball, go to the zoo) to which Sean told him to make that into a song.
* When Hayes was reminiscing over Lewis Reed's death Hayes told Lewis to sing about Heroin. Hayes mentioned that heroin is scary to do and none of Lewis' fans would do it because they're too much of a pussy. With the topic of heroin Lewis was going to make the songs very sad, but Hayes again corrected him to tell him to make it upbeat and happy.
* Sean's favorite Lewis Reed song was unreleased. And it went a little something like this: "Hot and cheesy pie / Munch it, with your mouth / Garlic knots, and sauce."
* Hayes refused to say RIP to Lewis Reed because he knows he won't. He's fustrated.

### Guest Segment

* The guys and Paul reminisce about their time developing the Honolulu comedy scene and their old sketch group "Coconuts and Jokes, Go Nuts!"
* Mr Show was originally titled Mr Mr Show, then Mr Show with Bob, and Sean, and Paul, and Hayes, and David, and Dion (Sanders) but due to scheduling Sean and Hayes went off to do their own thing with Dion which went on to do Saturday Night Live. Which used to be called Primetime Players.
* Discussion of PFT's time on Kelsey Grammar Presents: The Sketch Show
* The general consensus on comedy is that you're not doing it right unless someone hates it. And actually the more criticism you get the better it is. Sean took this opportunity to say "Take that 1 star reviewers from iTunes!"
* There hasn't been a single bad comedy in the past 10 years. When thinking of a bad comedy Sean pointed to The Fruitvale Station, but then remembered that that movie really made him crack his whole shit up, and laugh his butt off. Paul went on to say that it is choke on your popcorn funny
* If there's one thing about comdedy, it's Winning + Surprises = Comedy
* Paul feels bad about his stand up performances in London. When asked to speak on it by Hayes, Paul admits that he didn't surprise the audience enough. They saw it all coming and said the surprising joke part (punchline) aloud in unison with him. Hayes postulates that Londoners are too difficult to surprise because on the blitz. Like the famous poster everyone has: "Keep clownin', quit goofin', the blitz happened."
* The voices in Paul, as Herman in Herman's Head, represent the seven deadly sins: comedy, greed, eating too much, weather, and *fear*
* Paul was planning on killing himself before engineer Cody called and asked him to be on the show. Which is funny, because it's surprising.

## Recurring Segments

* Teaser Freezer - "That Awkward Moment "
	+ This movie was based off of how Hayes and Sean always bust each others B's.
	+ Hayes once brought a girl back to his room and tried to ask her about X-box
	+ One inconsistency in the movie was instead of Michael B Jordan, Sean and Hayes were actually with Michael regular Jordan
	+ Sean and Hayes took a mint given to them by Michael regular Jordan that was boner pills. When you're built like Sean and Hayes, this can be quite uncomfortable. Talk about a double-edged sword... double-edged pork sword.
	+ This movie features a very common problem for all men. You make a pact to be single, and you just can't stop fucking women all the time
	+ Michael regular Jordan got hit by a cab, which is why he played baseball
* Popcorn Gallery
	1. Asteck - What's it like living with the voices of all those characters upstairs?
		+ No Answer. "How does this person know I hear voices in my head?"
	2. Skizelo - What does the F stand for? Have you considered changing it to Fuckmachine?
		+ Answer: No I haven't considered changing it to that, because it IS that!
	3. OcterDoctopus - How did you stay in the funny zone when you were acting in scenes with Emanuel Day Lewis?
		+ Answer: Pinched his leg
* Pro Version - Valerie Bryant
	+ The prize was an answering machine message recorded by Paul F Tompkins

## Recurring Jokes

* Funny Zone - Paul gets into the funny zone by pinching his leg
* Talking to the Engineer - Brett sneezed and Sean and Hayes berated him. Sean told Brett that if he ever felt the need to sneeze he should call one of the other engineers to sub for him. Then wait for them to arrive, pass the headphones (obviously don't speak) walk outside, go down the hall, go down the elevator, go outside, go in your car, and then sneeze.
* Speak on That
* Sean and Hayes's Particular Attribute

## Ads

* Donations - Sean and Hayes open the ad by explaining that they had just fired Brett (we all know why) and that Cody will fill in the rest of the episode. Then explain that the donation page must have been broken because there were no donations in there. They tested it out, and it is working now.

## Episode Photos

*(left to right)* Hayes Davenport, Paul F. Tompkins, Sean ClementsHayes, Sean, and Paul F. Tompkins in the studioHayes, Sean, and Paul F. Tompkins in the studioSean and Paul F. Tompkins bussin up in the studioHayes Davenport in the studio