14 Carrot Gold

“Are you sure?” Serena asked, raising the corner of her top lip

“I’m positive.” Tim replied with a self confident nod.

“A carrot. You know it’s a ghost, not a bunny, right?” she asked.

Tim responded with another assuring nod.

“On account of if it was a bunny, I think I’d be okay with a bunny brother.” The thought of Vas with long bunny ears was enough to make her giggle.

“You can look it up, pigtails. A carrot can be used to seduce a ghost away from its host, but make sure to dispose of the carrot after, because it might be possessed.”

“The carrot might be possessed?” Serena was starting to think Tim might not be the ghost expert he claimed to be. “So you gotta throw it out so no one eats it by mistake.”

“Right.”

“But how is a *carrot* gonna seduce someone?” she asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked through the bunch. “I mean, I guess this one is kinda pretty.” She selected a carrot with a full green leafy top. Maybe… Oh! Maybe if it was held by a sexy bunny?”

Tim stifled a giggle. “ I think you’re onto something. Nothing makes a carrot sexier than a sexy bunny. You go on and do that, pigtails.”

“Now? I think he might still be mad on account of the pepper.”

“Right, but it’s not *Vas,*. It’s the ghost you wanna attract… to the carrot.”

Serena scrunched her lips together contemplating. She missed her brother fiercely, and Patch snores - loudly. Whatever it took to get Vas back, she was willing to try. “All right…. I’ll go pretty it up.” She said with a nod, wondering if it were possible to put lipstick on a carrot, and if so -- where?

The carrot was gussied up as best as she could get it. The leafy green top was separated into two equal pigtails, tied up with small ribbons, and the teen spritzed it with a bit of Tim’s cologne, seeing as she didn’t have access to Anikah’s shuttle for real perfume. It did smell fancy though. She even found a bit of lace to fasten into a skirt. It was by far, definitely the prettiest carrot she had ever seen. Now to seduce a ghost!

The teen crept to the Cargo Bay, where her brother sat with a fresh cup of tea and what looked like a manifest. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her bowtie and made sure the cotton tail she stitched to the seat of her overall shorts was in place. She didn’t have bunny ears, but some bunnies had floppy ears, just like her pigtails, and that definitely counted. Clearing her throat, she extended her arm into the cargo bay, stepping off to the side. Now... What would a companion say?

“Hello,” she said in a husky voice.  “Look at me -  I’m such  a pretty carrot, all by my lonesome.”

Vas was of course none the wiser to the antic play out behind his back. He almost dreaded what fresh torment Serena was about to unfold on him. He didn’t even know what he had done to earn such ire!

Then she started puppeting a mutant carrot.

Vas choked on his tea cough and laughed.

“Girl. What are you doing playing dress up with our vegetables?” Jago said, he has been working the manifest with Vas and had been just out of Serenas eyeline. His voice though was unmistakable.

Serena gulped. What if the ghost left Vas and possessed Jago? He wouldn’t be half as nice asking for his golden arm back. “Who wants a carroty carrot? and … uh… ooh la la, I’m so sexy.” The teen wish she’d have spent more time with the companion. She’d know how to make a seductive root.

Vas laughed even harder. “Merciful Buddha … I can’t … this is just too much!”

“Did you put lipstick on the damn thing?” Jago observed with a scrunched nose.

Vas laughed even harder.

“Put the carrot down.” Jago said dryly.

“Why are you rescuing it ca-” Vas started between a fit of giggles.

“Not another word.”

“Ghosts like sexy carrots!” Serena said, accidentally in her own voice. “I mean…” She corrected it to her companion accent. “Ghosts like sexy carrots… and that’s what I am, so if you leave my Onni -- er - that boy you hijacked, me an you can have ghost n’ carrot sex, which isn’t weird at all. Come and get me!”

This time not even Jago could keep a straight face. The whole thing was so hilariously out there it skipped right into absurd without stopping. “Yea, I definitely don’t wana … you deal with this mohawk, this just proves why I never had kids.” He ordered making his escape to the galley.

Vas had to lean against the wall, he was laughing so hard. “Oh hell, did you stitch a cotton ball to your bum!” He noted wiping his laugh tears away. “Is that what this is about you think I’m possessed and this is what you came up with to ‘save’ me?”

“Give me back my Onni!” Serena threatened, shaking the pigtailed carrot at him.

"Why in the nine hells do you think I'm possessed?" Vas asked. "So much so you went and made a … I dunno, is that supposed to be a voodoo doll?"

“A voo-doo doll?  That would be stupid. It’s a sexy carrot on account of you can use a carrot to seduce a ghost away from its host, but then you gotta get rid of the carrot ‘cause it might be possessed. The beans didn’t work an’ the salt didn’t work, an’ the pepper didn’t work, this [i]has[/i] to!” She cried.  “So, come on, ghost. Be seduced by this.” She shook the carrot at him again.

“This actually explains so much. First off, it’s [i]Azuka[/i] beans and you throw them not refried canned beans … or jelly beans … or azuka flavored jelly beans.” Vas explained before Serena could be interrupted.  “Second the salt needs to be [i]blessed[/i] and third pepper does jack.” He continued. “I … I have no clue where the companion carrot came from but … where did you even get an idea like that.”

Serena narrowed her eyes. “Nice try. Now possess this carrot!” She demanded. He was cagey all right, trying to give ‘clues’ that likely wouldn’t work. “And gimme back my Onni, or you’ll be sorry!”

“How do you even know if I’m possessed or not?” Vas countered.

“How do YOU know you’re possessed or not,” Serena challenged. “You wouldn’t say if you were.”

“No, no, no.” Vas said in a disapproving tone. “You made the assertion it is up to you to prove it. Did you even test me to see if I was actually possessed or not before you started torturing me with pepper and throwing salt in my eyes or dumping cooked beans in my bed?”

“Yes.” Serena said, folding her arms across her chest. “Why else were you startled by the beans, and screamed at the salt, and gagged on pepper? And why are you attracted to this carrot?”

“I was startled because I sat on something wet and squishy on my bed! And I screamed because the salt you threw got in my eyes! And I gagged on the pepper because you put so much in all I tasted was burning and you KNOW I don’t like spicy food!” Vas said, trying to drill reason in. “So who's been telling you this crock so I can take sexy carrot and jam it up their respective ass cuz I know you didn’t come up with this on your own.”

“It [i] is [/i] you!” Serena said happily, launching herself to hug Vas tightly. “I missed you so much, you’ll never know. Sexy carrot must’ve worked!”

“I was [i]never[/i] possessed!” Vas complained. “I was fine the whole time. So who has been taking you for a ride? Was it the new Doc? Or that companion girl?

Serena held the possessed carrot more carefully. “I gotta space this first, ‘fore someone eats it, “ she said, gingerly walking towards the airlock.

“Nuhu!” Vas said, snatching the carrot and using his superior hight to keep it out of her reach. “Confess!” He demanded.

“Gimme! I can’t on account of I promised and [i]you[/i] said that means something. Gimme ‘fore you get repossessed!”

“What you promised that you would tell no one about who told you how to hunt down a non-existent ghost?” Vas said dryly.

“Yes. An’ if I break my promise, I’m only as good as my word and he might not help me next time.  Now please! I have to get rid of the carrot!” she begged.

“Well if you are not going to tell me then I'm going to …” Vas thought for a second, then two second, then three. Five seconds later an idea hit him. “... turn it into carrot cake and let everyone have a slice to prove there is no ghost!” He beamed, thinking himself pretty darn cunning.

Serena audibly gasped. “What? No! You can’t!” She hopped up trying to get her carrot back. “Please!” The whole situation was stressful enough to have to start over, wondering who would be possessed next.”You [i] said [/i] not to go back on my word! What if you get repossessed? Or… or if Patch gets possessed? Or Tim?  Who am I gonna stay with when you get mad? Who’s gonna tell me how to get rid of a ghost?”

“I just told you the proper way to get rid of ghosts- That sonova Bio zi!” Vas hissed and then glared at the carrot. “Ooo jamming you up his ass would be to good for that … dejīng!”

Patch? “He was just tryin’ ta help!” Serena defended, wishing she were more shocked at her brother’s language. “Where else was I supposed to stay?” She didn’t like the thought of her Onni being mad at Patch, who was like another … albeit older…  Much older. Much much older Onni.

“You’ve been staying with Tim?!” Vas balked. Oh. It. Was. On. Now. Vas was squeezing the carrot so hard if there had been a spirit trapped inside it might have made a sound of pain.

“Where else would I… wait, what? No one said anything about Tim!” She said hurriedly.

“Yes you did.” Vas said, waving the carrot at Serena. “You just said he was trying to help and that you were staying with him!” He reiterated the poor carrot creaking in protest from the abuse.

“Tim?” She shook her head no. “Tim doesn’t wear bed clothes to sleep, an’ besides he told me not to tell you.”

Vas looked like he just got slapped and then splashed with cold water. There was a snapping sound as Vas had squeezed the carrot till it had finally given up on this life and broke. “I am going to do a terrible thing to that man. Wait here.” He said and proceeded to storm off to wreak terrible vengeance.

“He was tryin’ to help!” Serena called, grabbing on to her brother’s shirt tail. “On account of he’s an’ expert!”

“Oh I'm sure he thinks he is! Now I’m going to show him how much of an expert [i]I[/i] am.”

Serena couldn’t understand why he was so mad, when all Tim wanted to do was help.  She needed the help of someone else. As Vas ascended the steps two at a time, Serena scurried off into the ship. “Cap’n Jago! Vas is gonna…” Jago looked like he stepped in something which smelled awful, and the teen’s shoulders dropped. [i] Right, right, invisible.[/i] “PATCH!” She called, spinning on her heel to find the mechanic.

The old man was in the engine room trying to get the secondary cathode neutralizer to stay put on the impulse engine. His large frame was thoroughly wedged underneath the ship's accelerator core, it was the easiest way to reach the gorram thing without a full teardown, a crane hoist and two weeks in dry dock: three things Jago would most certainly never foot the bill for. "The most advanced design in its class!" Patch sarcastically repeated the tagline from the Allied Spacecraft Corp's Firefly Class-4 marketing literature as he let out a scoff. Just as he was loosening the connector for the coolant line, he heard Serena cry out.

[I]"PATCH!"[/I]

Both its suddenness and the sound of the teen's desperation startled the big man, causing him to instinctively jerk his head forward towards the direction of the sound which was immediately greeted with the underside of the accelerator core housing. An interesting side effect of the design of the Class-4's updates was the introduction of a newer plasticine steel alloy which, while reducing weight, also gave the structure a bell like resonance. This property was demonstrated as, when Patch's forehead connected with it, it let out a lovely clang, though Patch was in no condition to appreciate just how lovely it was.

The old man stifled a curse in Russo-Polish as his head fell back to rest on the cool engine room floor. He reflexively moved his hand to his forehead to check the damage, not realizing his leather glove had some coolant on it from the connector. As his hands passed over his face, a drop of it fell right into his eye. The mechanic yelped and pawed at his eyes, rubbing them with both hands. This only served to deposit more of the irritant into them, not to mention smearing engine grease all around his eyes. He desperately shimmied out from under the the accelerator core and fumbled his way to the wash station off to the side, throwing off his gloves and dosing his face with cooling water until the burning stopped. Or, at least, slowed. He looked at himself in the mirror near the wash station as his face dripped, his red irritated eyes were highlighted by the black sooty grease deposited around them. As he shook off the pain, he suddenly remembered why he needed to get out from under the engine in the first place.

"The kid!" he thought, panicked, as he stumbled out of the engine room and down the hall towards the cargo bay. Still drippy and groaning from the residual aching of his poor eyes, he braced himself against the doorway into the cargo bay and let out a groan as he forced his eyes wide to try and get a better view of the situation.

“PATCH!”  Serena yelled again, heading down the steps of the cargo bay -- until she caught sight of the zombie that shambled out of the corridor. “No!... “ The teen hollered, backing up. When Vas broke the carrot, it must have escaped! And now… it had PATCH!”  “ONNNNNIII!” She darted past ZombiePatch into the galley.

Patch looked puzzled as the teen zipped past him. He looked back squinting at the remaining blob in the room and shrugged. "What's up with her?"

“Don't know, don’t care.” The blob responded. The sound of disinterest indicated it was Jago who likely was trying to find a place where Serena was not.

“ONNNIII! HE WANTS HIS GOLDEN ARM!” The teen cried, hastily grabbing a jar from the counter.  She quickly made the sign of the cross. “BE BLESSED!” She yelled, tossing handfuls of the salt at Zombie Patch. “I NEED A SEXY CARROT!”

Patch raised his free hand to shield his still tender eyes to protect himself from the assault as the teen peppered him with seasonings. "The hell are you TALKIN' about?!" the old man shouted back as Serena continued basting him with dry rub.

Vas stalked to the cockpit as pandemonium ensued behind him. It wasn’t till he was standing at the open door before. “YOU!” He snarled at an unsuspecting Tim., holding the broken sexy carrot like a knife.

Tim stifled a laugh, and hastily tried to close the cockpit door. “Good looking carrot you have there, Casper.”

Vas grabbed the open edge of the door as Tim tried to shut it holding it open. “You. Slept. With. My. SERENA!” It was less an accusation and more of a statement but in either case the only thing missing as Vas grew more and more enraged was steam coming out of his nose.

“What?” Tim said back, losing the laughter in his voice. “Slept with… “ His mind raced as he placed his back against the door to brace it. Sure he’d been drunk off his ass a few times, but he’d never -  “What are you talking about! She’s a kid! I didn’t sleep with your sister! Just calm down”

“I AM CALM!” Vas yelled. “THIS. IS ME CALM!” He fumed, taking a step closer. “I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU CHOKE ON THIS FLOOZY OF A CARROT!”

“The carrot was a joke!” Tim defended. “I’m telling you, I’d never sleep with your underaged sister! What is she, twelve?”

Patch tried his damnedest to get the teen to stop with her condiment onslaught long enough to try and talk sense into her, which would be an extra challenge given that he had no idea what the hell was going on! He quickly decided on the most artful response to defuse the situation. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?!?" he bellowed. Masterful. A trained hostage negotiator couldn't have done better.

“Leave Patch alone!” She called, throwing the pepper shaker at him as she frantically searched the galley. What kind of beans did Onni say? She pulled down a tin of coffee “Made with the finest Arabica Beans.” That sounded like it! Fistfuls of coffee were thrown at the mechanic.

"Ow." Patch muttered in a deadpan tone as he was pelted various elements of the galley. "Ow." He repeated, unable to muster much more than the energy to say the words. "Please stop." he pleaded in a voice totally devoid of hope that she would comply. That is...until the coffee came out. The beautiful aroma of the ground coffee cut through the pain he was still feeling in his eyes and the absolute insanity that he unwittingly stumbled into. He jutted a finger at the girl and barked "HEY!! Not the coffee!" as one last handful hit him in his open mouth, the command he held in that moment, only undermined by the small spitting motions he made to eject the gritty grounds.

“That’s it, Patch!” Serena goaded. “You fight it!  I’ll get a carrot!” Serena tore open the refrigerator door, grabbing any old carrot, because Patch wasn’t the type to put on heirs. “Look! “ She called holding it out. “I’m a carrot…. With a nice personality!”

Vas dug his heels in and put his shoulder in to strong arm the door further open. “LIAR!! With our stupid sexy ‘carrot’ and dress up games! I'M NOT AN IDIOT! And I'm going to wring your gorram neck till you head POPS off!” He threatened. “NOW OPEN THE DOOR!”

“Now, now, now hold on! You wait a ruttin’ minute! First! I never have, never would, never even considered having sex with Serena! I mean, yeah, now I might have the image but that’s just because *[i]you [/i]* put it in my head, and even still, she’s a child! What kind of sick sonuvabitch do you take me for? She was with Patch for rut’s sake.   Second… open this door so I can wring your neck?  Has anyone in the history of history taken you up on that? It was a joke, Rooster, an urban legend, the ghost with the golden arm! Where’s your sense of humor?”

“Then why is she running around dressing like a sexy rabbit seducing ghosts with a sexy gorram carrot and how the hell does she know you sleep NAKED!?!?” Vas hissed inching the door open further. “DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT PATCH LIKE THAT!” His fury winning him another inch.

The cacophony of the mutual screams echoed through the ship and in all the commotion, Patch was able to make out one thing from Tim and Vas's exchange near the cockpit. He gasped and looked at Serena wide eyed...or...as wide as his sore red eyes would permit him. "You slept with Tim??" he asked, his voice a mix of shock and disappointment.

Serena shook the carrot at him again and looked behind her. “Who?” She demanded, eyeing the carrot with suspicion and now disgust.

“I’m telling you the truth! As far as I know, Pigtails was sleeping with Patch!” Tim yelped. “Not with me. Trust me when I tell you - she is not my type!”

“Patch would not sleep with Serena you …. PERVERT! Oh now she's disposable! You CREEP! Now that you're done with her she ain’t your type!” He hollered the door now open enough for him to get an arm in and swing the carrot at him like a knife.

“I’m not done with her because I never started with her to begin with!” Tim cried back, swatting at Vas’s arm.  “She’s a child!”

Patch stormed past Serena towards the cockpit. "How COULD you, Tim!!" the mechanic shouted at the two struggling for control of her cockpit door. "She's a CHILD!!"

“MY POINT EXACTLY!!” Vas shouted vindicated.

“MY POINT EXACTLY!”  Tim shouted with indignity.

“Sixteen is legal on a lot of planets!” Serena called, hearing the commotion.

“Quiet you!” The three men shouted at Serena.

Jago looked at his watch and figured enough time had passed and it was time for this nonsense to end. He walked at a leisurely pace back up to the gally. He paused seeing the mess and gave Serena a sharp look. “You making a mess and wasting good coffee like that pigtails?” He asked in spite of Vas out to murder Tim or Zombe Patch lumbering around looking for his golden wrench or whatever the kid had been harping about the past few days.

“I needed Arabica beans on account of --”

“All I see is a mess. That you made and needs cleaning.” Jago interjected flatly.

“I’ll do that now, Cap,” Serena said, scurrying for a broom while  confident that no ghost would possess Jago. Ever. And if one did, it might actually make him nicer.

Issue one done and next was dealing with his resident thug and figure out why he got the itch to murder his pilot. He paused as he walked by Patch. “The hell happened to you? Why are you even here? Go clean yourself up, you smell like coffee and coolant, which is not appealing at all.” He said dismissing the man.

Patch opened his mouth to defend himself but it was left hanging open when he realized the Captain had already moved on to deal with the other two. He grumbled and headed to the showers to clean himself up and, hopefully, flush out his eyes some more.

Issue two done. Jago moved on to Captain the next issue into submission.

“Call him off, Jago!” Tim called from the other side of the cockpit door.

“Hm.” Was all Jago said assessing the situation. Kinda reminded him of a piss off dog trying to get a piece of meat. “Someone care to explain the hell I am staring at?”

“He’s trying to kill me, apparently…. With a carrot.” Tim explained.

“Sumbitch bedded my sister!!” Vas raged, unrelenting in his quest to pop Tim’s head off like a daisy.

“I did NOT have relations with his sister.” Tim repeated.

“She knows you sleep naked and you've been seducing her with CARROTS!” Vas accused.

“I swear this borders on mildly entertaining. Borders. Unfortunately neither of you have crossed that border. First off, down boy. Now. Second, open the damn door and not jump the pilot.” Jago warned.

Tim waited until the pressure on the other side of the door subsided before stepping away. “She knows I sleep naked because she asked about my pajamas when I was doing laundry,” Tim explained. “And the only person seduced with a carrot was you. I just put the notion in her head. As a joke.” He held up his hands defensively, just in case the pitbull decided to attack.

“Now I gotta know why the hell you thought it was a smart idea to antagonist, through his little sister, resident thug who clearly has anger management issues?” Jago asked.

“I do no-” Vas started indigent.

“If the shoe fits kid, now don’t interrupt.” Jago ordered.

“I didn’t antagonize.” Tim explained. “Urban legends… ghost stories… this is fourth grade stuff she missed out on.  I was just adding to her childhood…. NOT taking it away!”

“You going to straight up tell me you haven’t been poking the dragon with your games since take off?” Jago asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I may have told her that the water pump room was haunted.” Tim admitted. “C’mon, Jago. It was harmless fun.”

“Says the guy who was a hair's breadth from being turned into a human pretzel. No more antagonizing folk who can kill you ... and no more sex with my female deckhands, just in case.” He said with a dismissive wave.

“That means me and you are clear for sexy time,” Tim said, waggling his eyebrows at Vas, hoping to lighten the mood.

Vas snarled like an angry dog taking a step forward.

“Down boy.” Jago said sharply. “The hell I just say about antagonizing folk who can kill you? Don’t you have a ship to steer?”

“Yes, yes I do.” Tim agreed. “Lighten up, Spike. My intentions with your sister are strictly honorable. I think of her as my mei mei too. It’s a Gēgē’s job to haze young ‘ems.”

“I’m hearing a lot of talkie talkie and not and not any steery steery. How ‘bout next time I let the young ‘em get in a couple wacks.” Jago said with false innocence and he walked away motioning for Vas to follow.

“Some people have no sense of humor,” Tim lamented with a shake of his head. “Ship full of ‘em. Who’s got my golden arm - that’s a classic!”

“That's cuz I shot most of ‘em.” Jago declared waving for Vas to help Serena clean up her mess. Order now restored he hoped he would at least have peace for the rest of the day before space madness set into his crew again. He considered talking to the Doc about a tranq gun and making a Pro/Con list about it.

“So, you’re sure you’re sure that you’re sure that you’re not possessed?” Serena asked, holding the dustpan steady while Vas swept up the coffee grounds and salt.

"Are you sure you and Tim didn’t go on and have weird sex with you and carrots?" Vas countered as he swept

“I don’t know what Tim does with carrots,” Serena said with disbelief, “but I know he didn’t have weird sex with me.” She dumped the pile of grounds in the trash.

Vas eyed her. “Are you [i]not[/i] sure he had weird sex with you?”

Serena raised an eyebrow, confused. “I’m not sure he didn’t not have weird sex with me, if… that’s what you’re asking?”

Vas had inadvertently confused himself but he ran with it. “Okay … but if he so much as looks at you funny or … waves a slightly attractive vegetable at you. Let me know and I will

rip him apart.” He promised.

“He thinks I’m a kid,” Serena grumbled, . “Like Jago.  I don’t think he’d try to seduce me with a vegetable. ‘Sides it wouldn’t work. I’m not a ghost. But thanks for looking out for me, Onni-San.”

"Did you … want Tim to seduce you. Cuz then I would still be obliged to punt him out the airlock. On principle." Vas pressed

“No. I mean, you couldn’t blame him, not really,” the teen said pragmatically. “I [i] was[/i] a sexy bunny. I had a bowtie and everything. But I wouldn’t want him to on account of then you’d rip him apart an’ put ‘em in the airlock an’ then who would tell me all the important stuff, like about the guy with a hook for a hand and not turning on the lights?”

"Duh. I would." Vas said quickly. "I also don't know what is so sexy about a bunny and why Tim would be attracted to you dressed as a bunny. Unless that is what he likes. And if that's the case you should not dress as a bunny. Or if you do, you have to tell me. So I can beat Tim if he gets any inappropriate ideas."

“I’ll show you on the cortex,” Serena offered. “It’s like those books you read, only… mostly pictures.”

"I'm not into animals. Female or male. Or that thing where people dress up like animals." Vas explained.

“I don’t think they’re supposed to be…. It’s more… with a tail, and… you show a lot of…  You’re sure Patch isn’t possessed either?” She asked, changing the subject.

"Patch is to Patch to ever be possessed." Vas assured. "What's appealing about tails?

“Where the’re attached to.” She shrugged.

Vas stood clueless. "I don't get it."

“They make your butt look cute.” She offered. “Your butt would look cute with a tail too.”

Vas scrunched his nose. “Don’t be weird. That’s weird.” He said speeding up the sweeping. This whole conversation was meandering into uncomfortable subjects!

“It would!” She argued, stifling a yawn. “I’m glad you’re not a ghost any more.”

"I was never a ghost or possessed by one. Tim was messing with you with fake ghost stories." Vas assured.

“Riiiiiiiiight,” Serena said with a nod, playing along. “Fake.”

"It's true." Vas said indignantly. "Not that I believe in ghosts much. Real ghost. The real thing. They're sad … and very very scary. Believe me if someone was possessed and I ain't ever seen someone living possessed … you would know without question." Vas said his sweeping slowing down. "And it's not like you've ever even actually seen one." He pointed out.

“Cept Patch,” she reminded him. “He was definitely possessed.”

"Nope." Vas said knowingly. "You just got all whipped up by Tim and went all crazy on us. Heck if anyone was possessed it was you."

Serena’s eyes went wide. “I have felt weird lately! You think  when you broke the sexy carrot… it possessed, me? Nii-San! I don’t wanna be possessed! Get the jar!”

Vas laughed. "No good, you aint possessed. If you were, you would know, heck I would know." He said as if speaking from experience.

“Promise?” She asked nervously.

"If it makes you feel better we can make some charms and stuff. But like I said, a real ghost … you ain't gonna find them on a ship like this and the  Tim told you about is silly kids stories." Vas said, shaking his head with a laugh.

“Okay.” Serena agreed, mostly confident in her Onni’s knowledge. “An’ it’ll be good to sleep in my own bunk tonight. “

“And no more listening to Tim baby ghost stories. They are clearly too much for you.” If Vas was serious or teasing it was hard to tell.

Serena’s shoulders dropped. Tim thinking she was a kid was fine, but Vas?  “No more Tim baby ghost stories.”

"Good." Vas said with a nod of approval. He was glad this craziness was settled. Now it was just a matter of seeking vengeance on the damn pilot.

“I’m just glad….” She stopped mid sentence to stare at her brother’s face. “Is… that…” She pointed at a small mark an his cheek, then gasped. “How long has that been there?”

“If you say I’m possessed then I am going to tell you a real ghost story and you won’t sleep for a week straight.” Vas threatened.

“Well, we share a room, I don’t sleep, you don’t sleep.” She explained. “An’ I don’t think you’re possessed. I think a spider laid eggs in one of your pores. Tim says that’s what happens an--”

“Nope.” Vas said, cutting Serena off. “That's another baby story grown ups tell babies to scare ‘em.” He added dryly.

“I’m not a baby!” She demanded with a stomp of her foot.

“Well you believe every tall tale Tim tells you as fact what am I supposed to think?” Vas explained leaning on his broom.

“Because it’s my job to look out for you,” She reminded him. “What if they were true?”

“They're  just made to be safe and just scary enough so folk who don’t know better fall for ‘em and get teased for it.” Vas explained. “Or do some silly song and dance like waving around a gussied up carrot to ward off the scary ghost.” He said with a dismissive wave.

Serena’s ears burned, and her cheeks flushed red. “So… how are we gonna get him back?”

Vas gave a predatory grin. “Oh … I got a few ideas.”