recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Run to You Bride

***Run to You Bride*** is the seventh episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features guest Fran Gillespie. The musical primarily follows the journey of Caitlyn, who has just chosen the bridal gown she wants to wear at her wedding with coworker at Courtyard by Marriott, Doug, despite the not ever having dated. Meanwhile, Doug's best friend, Kevinry, wants their friendship to be more emotionally forthcoming.

## Episode Description

Fran Gillespie (*SNL*, *Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later*) stars in this new musical of bridal proportions. With songs like "*Hell Yes (Because of the Dress),"* *"A Little Bit Bad,"* and *"When Your Dad's John Cena,"* you'll be dancing down the aisle in no time. Plus, stay tuned 'til the end for a new segment: *"Deep Cut"!*

## Musical Cast

### Fran Gillespie

* Caitlyn
* Young Child
* Woman Getting on the Elevator
* Arty's Son
* Tiger Woods
* John Cena
* Kreshnyov #2

### Jessica McKenna

* Bridesmaid #1
* Kevinry
* Deb
* Valerie
* Benjamin's Son
* Kreshnyov #1

### Zach Reino

* Bridesmaid #2
* Doug
* Bill/Paul
* Business Man From Japan
* Man Asking a Question at the Concierge
* Benjamin Smith of the Feds
* John Cena's Son

## Songs

* "Hell Yes (Because of the Dress)"  (2:31)
* "Go Out the Back Door"  (6:15)
* "A Little Bit Bad" (11:20)
* "A Little Bit Bad (Reprise)" (13:29)
* "Make a Scene" (14:55)
* "Sometimes I'm Undetected" (18:46)
* "Super Bad Doug" (23:25)
* "When Your Dad's John Cena" (28:28)
* "So Many Secrets, So Many Lies" (33:38)
* "Little Hard Cookie (With the Little Soft Jelly)" (38:33)
* "Hell Yes (Because She's the Best)" (43:53)

Closing Song:

* "Britannia Waives the Rules" (Deep Cut) (49:31)
Off Book: Undercover

***Off Book: Undercover*** is the one hundred and thirty-ninth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts and guest chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. It features guest Jason Mantzoukas. This format is dubbed *Off Book: Undercover*. (Get it? Like, book cover?)

## Episode Description

Jason Mantzoukas (How Did This Get Made?) joins Zach and Jess for a special Off Book: Undercover! Jason chats with Zach and Jess about anxiety dreams, childhood movies, and Joe Pesci which inspires songs like “Dream Mom”, “It’s a House of Raccoons”, and “Nobody Pandered To You.”

## Cast

* Jason Mantzoukas
* Jessica McKenna
* Zach Reino

## Songs

* "I Have To Watch This" (6:10)
* "You Lost Me (Explaining Arrival)" (10:18)
* "I Have No Time For Scary Dolls" (14:20)
* "Dream Mom" (16:29)
* "It's a House of Raccoons" (22:30)
* "Palates and Butts and Bods" (26:44)
* "No One Is Nerd-Checking You Right Now" (29:51)
* "That Was Huge For Me" (36:16)
* "Y'all Heard Of Krull?" (43:10)
* "Nobody Pandered to You" (48:46)
* "There's Only One Joe Pecsi" (58:44)

## As We Say Every Week...

she's probably just the mom of your dreams.
Scott Passarella

***Scott Passrella*** is the pianist and band director of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical Podcast*. He provides musical accompaniment through the keys (and sometimes the bass) and is affectionately introduced as *The King of Pianists, Pianist of Kings*. Scott is a composer, performer, and improv teacher. He is on the mainstage for Comedy Sportz LA, and has performed with the Second Stage touring company, along with doing shows at many theatres.
Murder on the Picturesque Express

***Murder on the Picturesque Express*** is the twenty-first episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features guest (and Earwolf co-founder) Scott Aukerman. In this musical, a detective investigates a murder on the Picturesque Express, while famous painter Paints McSpectrum befriends Janely the dining cart employee and Specks, a rich, blind, freckled little boy.

## Episode Description

The one and only Scott Aukerman (*Comedy Bang! Bang!*) joins Jess and Zach for a locomotive musical murder mystery! Featuring such gruesome, grim, grisly and great songs like "I'm a Man of Purpose," "One Free Club a Month," and "Did I Do It?," you'll be wanting your own pair of maracas to play along!

## Musical Cast

### Scott Aukerman

* Paints McSpectrum
* Greg
* Fiffle McPloffle
* Specks' Dad

### Jessica McKenna

* Janely
* Grenaldo
* Detective Montgomery
* Marco Rodriguez
* Specks' Mom

### Zach Reino

* Specks
* Constable Grandpa
* Knife Salesman
* Coal Shoveler Boy
* Fiffle McPloffle

## Songs

* "I'm a Man of Purpose" (9:15)
* "(I Am) Paints McSpectrum" (12:52)
* "(I Am) Paints McSpectrum (Reprise)" (16:15)
* "Gruesome, Grim, Grisly, Great" (18:40)
* "Crime Scene Investigation" (20:50)
* "A Freckled, Blind, Orphan Little Boy (Who Is Also Rich)" (26:52)
* "Knives and Maracas" (30:51)
* "One Free Club a Month" (37:50)
* "150 Sandwiches" (43:00)
* "Did I Do It?" (45:25)
* "Murder She Wrote (Finale)" (55:10)

Closing Song:

* "Let's Fetch the Carriage" (Deep Cut) (1:10:06)
A Single Pull-Up to Save the President

***A Single Pull-Up to Save the President*** is the two hundred and forty-seventh episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest Peter Banifaz. At the Presidential physical fitness test, Shelley fails to do a pull-up and inadvertently puts the president in a coma. 20 or so years later, with the president's twin brother in office since the incident, Shelley seeks training to finally finish the task.

## Episode Description

We're joined by the hilarious Peter Banifaz in a musical that explores the importance of the Presidential physical fitness test and the dangers of small car accidents, and accidentally becomes an ad for ABC. Call your twin and tell them you love them, before it's too late!

## Musical Cast

### Peter Banifaz

* President
* Vice President
* Coach Bruno, the Dragon Rock
* Doctor #3

### Jessica McKenna

* Shelley
* Emergency operator
* Person who hit Bruno with a car
* Mabel Sunflower
* Kid
* Doctor

### Zach Reino

* Gym teacher
* Stone Stonestone
* Francis Sunflower
* Bear
* Doctor #2

## Songs

* "Can You Do a Single Pull-Up?"
* "He's Had a Kinda Sore Neck for Two Weeks Now"
* "The Sunflower Sisters (Vice Presidents)"
* "Post, Kellogs, General Mills"
* "I Don't Wanna Be Annoying"
* "*Abbott Elementary* (On Hulu and ABC)"
* "*Community* (Maybe on NBC)"
* "A Single Pull-Up"
* "When You're Mad, Just Forgive" (Finale)
Bones, Whales, and Candy!

***Bones, Whales, and Candy!*** is the one hundred and seventy-second episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest Mark McConville. In the distant future, the sorcerer president of the United States made a decree that every person on Earth must choose to become one of three things: skeletons, whale food, or gossips. As humanity struggles to adjust to this magic, we follow groups of all kinds dealing with freedom, familial tension, and being an outcast.

## Episode Description

All treat and no trick Mark McConville (Superego, Mascots) joins Jess, Zach, and the Off Book fam for a musical filled with orca whales, skeletons, candy stores, and more! With songs like “Have You Heard What They’re Doing On The Land? (Everyone Is A Skeleton),” “No Bones About It Now We’re All Hot,” and “It’s Not Cool to Be Mean, That’s Not Really Part of the Skeleton Scene,” it’s a ghoulish good time just in time for Halloween!

## Musical Cast

### Mark McConville

* Carl, whale
* Bryce, skeleton
* Bob, skeleton
* President Jimmy Carter II

### Jessica McKenna

* Trevin, whale
* Ti, skeleton
* Bethany, skeleton
* Bob's wife, skeleton
* Millie Bobby Brown, television host
* Jimmy Carter II's great great grandchild

### Zach Reino

* Spence, whale
* Ty, skeleton
* Jason, gossip
* Secret Service agent

## Songs

* "Have You Heard What They're Doing on the Land? (Everyone Is a Skeleton)"
* "No Bones About It Now We're All Hot"
* "Three Whales Walking (The Candy Store Was Closed)"
* "It's Not Cool to Be Mean, That's Not Really Part of the Skeleton Scene"
* "It Started Off Small"
* "Times Have Changed"
* "Going Steady, Steady With You"
* "Create And Make It Great/Where Candy Can Flow" (Finale)

## The Four Agreements

* Be impeccable with your words.
* Don't take anything personally.
* Don't make assumptions.
* Always do your best.

## As We Say Every Week...

you're going to need to create your own great!
Marvel Sing-ematic Universe (Part 6): Team Baby Rattlesnake

***Marvel Sing-ematic Universe (Part 6): Team Baby Rattlesnake*** is the two-hundred and thirty-fifth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It is also the sixth and final episode of the ongoing musical Marvel Sing-ematic Universe. As chaos descends upon the city, Clark assembles a team of characters old and new to try and stop Lord Mader from taking over the planet. We check in on a sushi restaurant, some space princes, a gondola ride in Venice, and witness the final confrontation at the top of the Statue of Liberty.

## Episode Description

This is the final episode of our great Marvel Sing-amatic Universe! Clark and his new friend Ivy are shaking off the rubble of this sushi restaurant and they're going to save the day! Will Zach and Jess bring back multiple references and close all the loops? Maybe! Kinda! With songs like, *"Baby RattleSnake" "We're in Space but There's No Space Between Us"* and *"She's Kind of a Bitch"*you'll be screaming to the heavens: MR. KEVIN FEIGE! GIVE THEM A MEETING NOW SIR!

## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Clark
* Various What The Fish? customers
* Splorch, alien
* Britz Barker
* Lord Mader
* Mary Jane
* Sarah
* Dr. Shelby Octavius

### Zach Reino

* Poison Ivy
* Various What The Fish? customers
* Angela Merkel
* Kevin, alien
* Spritz
* Maurice, metal snake
* Gerald, Mader's right hand man
* Spiderman/Peter Parker

## Songs

* "Introduction Song"
* "Baby RattleSnake"
* "Smooch Smooch Tang Tang Jingle"
* "Splorch and Kevin's Telekinetic Mailbox"
* "We're in Space but There's No Space Between Us"
* "Let's Gooo!"
* "My Home Is With You"
* "She's Kind of a Bitch"
* "Great Grandfather's Weathervane"
* "Team Baby Rattlesnake, Assemble!"
* "Can We Just Go Home?"
* "Ahead Of Us"
* "Just Clark" (Finale)
Every Place I Cry: LIVE!

***Every Place I Cry: LIVE!*** is the two hundred and fifty-fifth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features the four-lead-singer emo band Every Place I Cry (featuring guests Ross Bryant and Nick Mandernach). This episode was originally recorded live at the Elysian on March 25, 2021.

## Episode Description

The following was a live performance from everyone's favorite four lead singer Emo band at the Elysian theater on March 25 2022 in Los Angeles. It contains adult emotions and emotional themes. Make em' and Break 'em. Huge thanks to the fam band, and Moshe and Neil (Nick Mandernach and Ross Bryant).

## Musicians

### Brett Morris

* And You Shall Know Me By My Trail Of Picks, Guitarist

## Songs

* "I Hate Everything and It's Okay"
* "Just a Little Limb"
* "Games Is What Love Is For"
* "Daedelus"
* "Just Try"
* "Ménage à Quatre"
* "Teacher Outside of School"
* "Haven't Been to One Before (But It's Now This One)"
* "All of the Whales"

## Mnemonic Devices for Things in the Sky

* If yellow it are, it is a star.
* If it's red in your brain, it is a plane.
* But if it's also red, it could be Mars instead.
* If it looms and glowers, it's a radio tower.
* If it's a moving light, it's a satellite.
* If it's flappy and absurd, and close, it's a bird.
* If someone's holding up a phone, it's that phone.
Opening Credits Cast Lip Sync

***Opening Credits Cast Lip Sync*** is the two hundred and eighty-ninth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. Cover songs, cocktails, and pop-culture commentary—it's a typically unhinged FamBand jamboree!

## Episode Description

This episode COULD have been called "Goo4Brains2: Two-ee Gooey Zany Brainsys" but we DIDN'T call it that. Stop calling it that, it's not the episode name. Listen as we slowly burn away pathways in our brain that we'll never get back.

## Cast

* Zach Reino
* Jessica McKenna
* Scott Passarella
* Brett Morris

## Songs

* "This Is the Same Podcast but a Different One"
* "Ug Ug Ug Ug"
* "You Can Dance If You Want To"
* "It's the Opening Credits Where the Cast Lip Syncs to a Pop Song"
* "Cactus Cooler"
* "Have You Ever Blamed the Rain?"
* "Music Is Easy"
* "Grow Past What You Know"

## Trivia

* The last two songs involved the FamBand switching instruments. "Music Is Easy" had Jess on the sticks, Scott on the frets and Brett on the keys. "Grow Past What You Know" had Zach on the keys, Scott on the frets and Brett on the sticks.
Follow Me

"Follow Me" is a song featured in *O Little Town of Doggywood*. Bobby the goldendoodle is attempting to lure the other dogs into a hotel dumbwaiter in order to force them into an artist's retreat.

## Lyrics

**Bobby**

Simply come with me. Simply come with me.

Nothing will go wrong if you come with me.

Just follow me down this hallway, with the lights out.

Everything's all right now. There's no need for fright, now.

Follow me...follow me so close.

Yes, just follow me. Follow your nose wherever it goes.

And it goes over here to smell, oh so sweet,

Yes, to this compartment that smells vaguely of meat.

Yes, the delicious meat. Go now, not later,

Into this Hotel for Dogs' little dumbwaiter,

And just come in here. Just follow me so close.

Follow your nose wherever it goes,

Just like that, I suppose.

Nothings wrong here.

Everything's fine.

Follow me.

Toe the line.

I'm just a goldendoodle—a happy, friendly, foul sort.

Follow me...I do not kill for sport

**Darla**

I don't know, brothers, I'm not sure.

I don't know if he means us harm.

Stick with me, let's be careful.

Stay right be'ind my arm.

(cockney accent) Stay right behind my arm.

***Ralph (spoken)***

*Hey, where you from?*

***Chauncey***

*What happened?*

***Ralph and Chauncey***

*Where you from originally?*

***Ralph***

*Is this an art—is, like (stammers) do you have, like a perso—like a stage persona?*

***Darla***

*Yes. Don't tell anyone.*

***Ralph***

*Oh, we won't.*

***Bobby***

*What's all this talking going on behind me?*

***Darla***

*Oh, nothing!*

***Chauncey***

*Oh, nothing, nothing, Bobby!*

**Darla**

We are thinking that you're up to your old tricks.

I'm telling you, brothers, you can never trust a mix!

Sit here together, and keep your eyes peeled.

Bobby, when are you taking us to this glen and/or field?

**Bobby**

Oh, the field is at the bottom of the dumbwaiter.

***Ralph***

*Ok.*

**Bobby**

Get inside the dumbwaiter, it leads into the field.

***Ralph***

*Yeah, right.*

***Chauncey***

*Oh, right.*

***Ralph***

*Seems...yeah.*

**Bobby**

I promise. Know how dumbwaiters generally end up in a field?

***Chauncey***

*I don't.*

**Bobby**

Just like that, this one's normal.

Just get into this tiny metal box.

**Darla**

I don't know if we should go down.

I am scared, not sure, I am wearing a frown. (repeats)

**Ralph (in counterpoint)**

I think I know, and I know one another

That we should stay away, my best friend brother.

We'll walk right here, because I have a thought for later:

We should put this guy in this dumbwaiter. (continues)

**Chauncey (in counterpoint)**

I don't know what I believe'll,

But I'll tell you, I think he's evil.

I am scared. I'm terrified.

I don't know, I'm gonna go cry.

**Bobby**

Get in the box...

In the box...

In the box...

I'll push you into the box!

I'm bigger! (barks) Get in the box! (barks)

***Darla***

*Oh, oh!*
Time Fountain: Fountains of Time

***Time Fountain: Fountains of Time*** is the first *Off Book* multi-episode, long form musical. It follows the journey of a natural museum curator, a janitor, and two children's adventure as they travel back in time with the magic of a public metal water fountain.

## Episodes

* *Time Fountain: Fountains of Time, Chapter 1*
* *Time Fountain: Fountain of Time! Chapter 2*
* *Time Fountain: Fountain of Time! Chapter 3*
* *Time Fountain: Fountain of Time! Chapter 4*
* *Time Fountain: Fountain of Time! Chapter 5*
* *Time Fountain: Fountain of Time! Chapter 6 (Finale)*
Wolf/Tuck: LIVE!

***Wolf/Tuck: LIVE!*** is the sixth episode and the first ever live episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It was recorded live on July 27, 2017 at the UCB Sunset Theater in Los Angeles. It features D'Arcy Carden and Paul Scheer. The plot of the show deals with events in the town of Wolvington, a town with an occult history located next to a wolf sanctuary.

## Episode Description

D'Arcy Carden (*The Good Place*, *Broad City*) and Paul Scheer (*How Did This Get Made?*, *The League*) star in a new musical about sexy night hikes, wolves disguised as little girls giving relationship advice, and wolves taking over a Home Depot. Recorded live at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles, theater-goers will be entranced by such stand-out hits as *"Let My Wolf Out Tonight,"*  *"Corporate Animal,"* *"Find the Wolf Man,"* and many more. Stick around for a behind the scenes discussion about the production with the cast and crew!

## Musical Cast

### D'Arcy Carden

* Sharon
* Real Teen
* Wolf
* Lynch Mob Member

### Jessica McKenna

* Wolf Walk Tour Guide
* Jordan
* Real Teen
* Lynch Mob Member
* Chermit the Frog (cut song)

### Zach Reino

* Wolf Walk Participant
* Sharon's Dad
* Mr. Cruthers
* Real Teen
* Wolf

### Paul Scheer

* Sharon's Mom
* Jenkins
* Todd-Benjamin
* Wolf

## Talkback Cast

### Paul Scheer

* Actor James Carvey
* Stage Manager Justin
* Director

## Songs

* "Let My Wolf Out Tonight" (5:00)
* "Weird Things/Touch Your Boob" (9:16)
* "Corporate Animal" (14:20)
* "A Cool Older Man (In a Klan Van)" (19:10)
* "The Consent Song/Sharon I Love You" (23:30)
* "Wolf Depot" (33:00)
* "Find the Wolfman" (36:04)
* "Truth Bomb" (40:22)
* "Nip Our Future and Tuck Our Future" (44:46)
* "Wolf Rap Interlude" (47:00)
* "The Confrontation (Finale)" (49:30)

Cut Songs:

* "Froggy-Froggy-Froggy-Frog" (57:55)
* "Wolfy-Wolfy-Wolfy-Wolf" (1:00:09)

## Trivia

This episode was performed only two days after the pilot of *Off Book* aired.

## References

1. ↑ Live Show Page
2. ↑ Official Episode Description
Lullaby Bye To Those Jokes

***Lullaby Bye To Those Jokes*** is a Stitcher Premium exclusive episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical*. The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. Brought to you by a mushroom and bush, this bonus episode has a collection of balloons, old jokes, awkward movie situations, and a madlibs style AI-generated song that seems very familiar...

## Episode Description

It's another b'b'b' BONUS episode! Jess is looking for that sweet Disney litigation, while Zach is just trying to keep them out of that hot legal water, and together they're both bringing you the songs you love! Like, *Hot Legal Water They're Gonna Serve You With A Hug*, *I've Been a Mushroom This Whole Time*, *Oh His Arm is Wood What Do We Do?, Lullaby Bye To Those Jokes, These Are The Balloons That You'll Always Find, Can You Do It Like An Orca?, Several Several Minutes Of This, So What Happens On Monday,* and of course everyone favorite ditty brought to you by AI! *Survey Secret Door! Hallelujah! Some People!*

## Cast

* Jessica McKenna
* Zach Reino
* Scott Passarella
* Brett Morris

## Songs

* "Hot Legal Water They're Gonna Serve You With A Hug" (2:10)
* "I've Been a Mushroom This Whole Time (The Lichen Likes The North)" (6:21)
* "Oh His Arm is Wood What Do We Do?" (12:14)
* "Lullaby Bye To Those Jokes" (7:18)
* "These Are The Balloons That You'll Always Find" (22:40)
* "Can You Do It Like An Orca?" (31:34)
* "Several Several Minutes Of This" (43:35)
* "So What Happens On Monday" (53:16)
* "Survey Secret Door! Hallelujah! Some People!" (These Lyrics Do Not Exist) (1:07:06)
Forecast: Puberty: LIVE!

***Forecast: Puberty: LIVE!*** is the forty-fifth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features guests Nicole Byer, John Gemberling, and guest accompanist Eric Kalver on drums.

## Episode Description

The incredible Nicole Byer (Nailed It!) and John Gemberling (Broad City) join Jess and Zach live at the Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles for an all new weather, sex-ed, and Lean Cuisine-filled rock musical improvised on the spot! With songs like "Through to Them," "What the Weather Do," and "Beep Beep Goes the Lean Cuisine," you'll finally graduate "Punk Rock Academy" hearing these new jams.

## Musical Cast

### Nicole Byer

* Cheryl
* Trent the Detective
* News Executive #3

### John Gemberling

* Teacher at Conference #2
* Barney
* Principal Danvers/Skunk
* News Executive #2

### Jessica McKenna

* Teacher at Conference #3
* Derek
* History Teacher
* Dallas Rains

### Zach Reino

* Teacher at Conference #1
* Clarkson
* Vice Principal Clanvers/Bass Guitar
* News Executive #1

## Talkback Cast

### Nicole Byer

* Method Actor
* Treven (Set Designer)
* Producer #3

### John Gemberling

* Jim Taymor (Writer)
* Producer #2

### Jessica McKenna

* Actor (Trent in First Act, Barney in Second Act)
* Dallas Rains (Actor as himself)

### Zach Reino

* Moderator
* Neil Gaiman (Concept Artist)
* Producer #1

## Songs

* "Through to Them" (8:40)
* "What the Weather Do" (15:05)
* "Beep Beep Goes the Lean Cuisine" (20:44)
* "Cool Kids (Definitely Not Adults)" (27:43)
* "NO!" (35:30)
* "We Love Neil Gaiman" (38:05)
* "The Forecast at Eleven" (40:22)
* "The Local News Station" (44:45)
* "It's a Fantasy" (50:09)
* "Finale/Through to Them [Reprise]" (56:43)

Cut song:

* "Lean Cuisine" (1:09:22)

## Trivia

* *Goatbusters* is the first episode of *Off Book* to feature drums.
Suzuki QChord Enters the Chat

***Suzuki QChord Enters the Chat*** is the two hundred and seventy-sixth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. A new instrument has made its way into the studio and is creating music from zero in 9 seconds flat. Other than that, this episode includes a deep dive into the musical *Oklahoma,* sexual awakening sources, and a song about old CGI extreme weather effects. And no mistakes!

## Episode Description

Brett has a new toy (instrument?) that HEAVILY implies he's trying to kick everyone else out of the band. And you know what? He just might succeed... Happy November 1st everyone!

## Cast

* Jessica McKenna
* Zach Reino
* Scott Passarella
* Brett Morris
* Dana Wickens

## Songs

* "Come With Me on Vacation"
* "House of the Full-Sized Candy Bars"
* "In Oklahoma!"
* "Songs That the Hills Have Heard"
* "You Tried to Make a Twister"
* "When I Wake Up (I'm Gonna Eat a Bagel)"

## Songs That the Hills Have Heard

* "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac
* "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas
* "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin
* "Cheeseburger in Paradise" by Jimmy Buffet
* "Baby Shark"
* "Yellow" by Coldplay
* "Walk Like a Man" by the Four Seasons
* "Fat Lip" by Sum 41
* "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground
Hair: Nice, Teeth: White, Skin: Clear!

***Hair: Nice, Teeth: White, Skin: Clear!*** is the two hundred and fifty-first episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest Lisa Gilroy. Two rising Hollywood starlets quickly become rivals as agents and directors clamor to get them roles in anything and everything.

## Episode Description

Hilarious comedian and actor Lisa Gilroy joins Zach and Jess for a Hollywood tale for the ages! Starlets! Agents! Butlers! And of course, at least one bear. Will a quest for stardom end in murderrrrrrr? You'll have to listen to find out.

## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Commercial crew #2
* Child patient
* François François, director of Aging
* Rebessica's agent
* Linda, nurse
* Marinda, nurse
* Robert, Disney executive
* Beth
* Sandy Kenyon, loud movie critic
* The Ivy waiter

### Zach Reino

* Commercial crew
* Dylan, child patient
* Hospital orderly
* Clyde, patient
* Belinda, nurse
* Disney Von Diamond
* Nigel, butler

### Lisa Gilroy

* Rebessica Balone
* Bobby, Disney's agent

## Songs

* "We Got It In One" (6:44)
* "Tiddly-wink, Penny-wink" (13:08)
* "Taking You To the Top Big Time" (19:59)
* "My Little Book" (28:04)
* "Oh No, Our Baby Bro, Oh" (35:45)
* "HBO Limited Series/Average Horse Cop From the 1800s" (43:37)
* "Home Alone" (51:19)
* "Oh My G" (57:33)
* "Another Classic Hollywood Ending/Oh My G (Reprise)" (Finale) (1:03:00)
Billionaires and Future Children

***Billionaires and Future Children*** is the one hundred and fourteenth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest Carl Tart. In this live show, we shoot forward in time to the year 2042, where children have all the power in the world. Listen on to find out how three adult billionaires, three young adults with a boot company, two teens, and a mall security guard deal with this crazy power imbalance.

## Episode Description

Carl Tart (The Flagrant Ones, Comedy Bang! Bang!) joins Zach and Jess live from the 21st Del Close Marathon in Los Angeles for an all new musical packed with billionaires, future children, and more! With songs like “That’s Our Time”, “Pick Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps”, and “Are You a Liar Kalaya?”, it’s the only futuristic musical in which children rule the world that matters!

## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Claire, adult billionaire
* Shannon, young adult
* Jansport, child
* Adult attending to the children
* Backpack, teen
* Swanky pageant announcer

### Zach Reino

* Jason, adult billionaire
* Spencer, young adult
* Clamato Lamato Smamato (CLS), child
* Lunchbox, teen
* Pageant contestant
* Dart

### Carl Tart

* Rick, adult billionaire
* Curtis, young adult
* Kalaya, child
* Mall security guard
* Lunchbox's dad
* Dart #2

## Songs

* "That's Our Time" (5:15)
* "Pick Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps" (8:56)
* "I Believe That Children Get the Future" (15:15)
* "Are You a Liar Kalaya?" (21:00)
* "Miss Golden Valley 2042" (29:20)
* "Take a Deep Breath/I'm Miss Golden Valley" (32:40)
* "Do I Put This Dart in my Neck?" (43:15)
* "Rich People Can Do No Wrong" (48:48)
* "Take a Deep Breath (Reprise)" (Finale) (52:13)

## Trivia

* This episode differs from other live shows as it doesn't have a talkback segment at the end.
This Book Only Happens When You Read It

***This Book Only Happens When You Read It*** is the two hundred and seventy-fifth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest Rashawn Scott. When three friends discover a mysterious book where the words only appear as you read it, they are whirled into a spooky adventure where they have to undo the curses around their school.

## Episode Description

It's spooky season! But also, it's legend season because the LEGENDARY Rashawn Scott joins us for a tale of three kids stuck in a bizarro version of their school. BUT WHY!? AND HOW!? We don't wanna spoil this one so you'll just have to be brave enough to dive in for yourself....IF YOU DARE!

## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Teacher
* Matthew
* Skele-man
* Inflatable Brenda, bouncy house
* R. L. Stine
* Spencer

### Zach Reino

* Devin
* 11-foot Spider
* Balloon with a face
* Jennifer

### Rashawn Scott

* Claire
* Vocational school atop a turtle
* David

## Songs

* "Whatever You Read, Just Do It Silently" (6:13)
* "This Book Only Happens When You Read It" (12:17)
* "A New Vase" (18:28)
* "There's No Hating My Meat (Without Hating Me)" (26:23)
* "Got the Whole World on My Shoulders" (32:00)
* "A Balloon's Ballad" (39:02)
* "The Inflatable Smash" (42:26)
* "A Satisfying Ending/This Book Only Happens When You Read It (Reprise)" (Finale) (49:00)
Mirage a Trois

***Mirage a Trois*** is the ninety-ninth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest Lucas Hazlett.

## Episode Description

Lucas Hazlett (American Princess) joins Jess and Zach for an all new musical packed with mirages, scary camels, a chronicler, and more! With songs like “Boy Debate”, “Friggin’ Hot In The Desert”, and “Desert Love”, this ep will make you want to go on your own desert adventure!

## Musical Cast

### Lucas Hazlett

* Old Man on the stairs
* Cleric

### Jessica McKenna

* Maria
* McOrphanhaver, man who runs the orphanage
* Cleric's mom
* Valerie, chronicler

### Zach Reino

* Thomas
* Paustin
* Camel Lord, Lord of the Camels
* The Viceroy

## Songs

* "There's an Old Man (On a Flight of Stairs)" (6:30)
* "Boy Debate" (10:26)
* "Market Madrigal" (14:14)
* "Chronicle Chronicle" (20:16)
* "Friggin' Hot in the Desert" (24:04)
* "Desert Love" (31:40)
* "I Will Have Him" (36:00)
* "Believe" (40:40)
* "Hydrate Debate" (44:00)
* "Son of a God" (47:00)
* "You Are Home/Be The Game" (Finale) (50:41)

Closing Song:

* "Ren Faire Stare" (Ye Olde Sick Beats) (56:26)

## Things that Valerie has Chronicled

* The first use of carrier pigeons
* A ship passage through the Panama Canal
* The eruption of Mount Vesuvius that destroyed Pompeii
* China's invention of fireworks
* Egypt's use of paper
* The building of the Statue of Liberty

## As We Say Every Week...

you best be aware that you gotta believe, of course!
List of Horse Facts

A is for Appaloosa and they are pretty cool. Then you've got the quarter horse, it's not a quarter pony. Quarter ponies are 14 hands, Boy aren't they lonely. Because all their friends are taller than them. And when you're a short horse you can't rise to the hem of your next best friend who is a big Clydesdale, ooh Mama Mia, that guy is out of a whale. Then you've got the Paints, which is really just a quarterhorse with some painted coats. And then you've got the pony, which is a different breed. People think it's a baby, oh what a heel!
 Ponies are the future, the future for horses.
 There are a surprising number of publications dedicated to horses, like *Horse Weekly, Equestrian Weekly, Horses Bi-Quarterly, Hoof-Hoof Magazine, Style (for Horses), Esquire (For Horses),* and many more.

**List of Horse Facts** ♫ List of Real People Portrayed on Off Book ♫ List of Episodes with Talking Animals
Undercovers 4

***Undercovers 4*** is the one hundred and forty-fifth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts and guests chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. It features guests Lauren Lapkus and Erin Whitehead. Remote recording continues to be detrimental to playing and singing together, but at least two lovely guests are on the pod! Lauren and Erin show up in their respective halves of the episode and riff with everyone as Zach and Jess sing solo to pre-made tracks.

## Episode Description

We’ve got not one, but \*two\* special guests this week in our Zoom hangs! Lauren Lapkus and Erin Whitehead join Jess, Zach and the family band for some quality chats and songs like “Spicy Chili Glaze”, “Back Cubes” and “Villain Appetizers”.

## Cast

* Lauren Lapkus
* Jessica McKenna
* Brett Morris
* Scott Passarella
* Zach Reino
* Erin Whitehead
* Dana Wickens

## Songs

* "The Want Dance" (Zach, Classic Off Book Beat)
* "Back Cubes" (Jess, Country Bluegrass)
* "The Sound Of Silence" (Zach, French Jazz Lament)
* "Villain Appetizers" (Jess, Bluesy Jazz)
* "Spicy Chili Glaze" (Zach, The Brett One)
* "Oh No, It's Just Free Play" (Jess, Jazz Standard)

## What Sound Does The Wooden Frog Make?

This is a segment in the show where everyone brings something to the call and shows what sound it makes.

* Scott - What Sound Does My 1-Year-Old Daughter's Cellphone Make?
* Lauren - What Sound Does The Ancient Sea Glass Conch Announcement Tube Make?
* Jess - What Sound Does The Wrapping Paper Sword Make?
* Brett - What Sound Does The Space Heater Make?

## As We Say Every Week...

phew, I'm gonna need you to give me some spicy chili space.
Undercovers 6

***Undercovers 6*** is the one hundred and fiftieth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts and guests chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. It features guests Seth Morris and Dannah Phirman. Undercovers charges on! While Jess and Zach continue to sing along to prerecorded tracks, the format differs slightly after the break. In the second half, they go into more of an improvised scenes to song structure.

## Episode Description

This week on another Undercovers with Off Book episode, the insanely hilarious Earwolf favs Seth Morris + Dannah Phirman, hosts of the live variety show Brighter! join the gang for some fun. We got songs about “Buff Tom Hanks”, a “Mock Trial Sock Hop” and… improv?! It’s true!

## Cast

* Jessica McKenna
* Brett Morris
* Seth Morris
* Scott Passarella
* Dannah Phirman
* Zach Reino
* Dana Wickens

## Improv Cast

### Jessica Mckenna

* Jessica, Health magazine writer on Keto diet
* Caitlin Cosgrove, bridesmaid
* Louise

### Seth Morris

* Seth, Health magazine employee on side sleeper diet
* Rebecca, bridesmaid
* Al, dad

### Dannah Phirman

* Dannah, Health magazine writer
* Sarah Sarah, bridesmaid
* Dannah, mom

### Zach Reino

* Snazz, Health magazine employee
* Anne, bride-to-be
* Jeremy

## Songs

* "Buff Tom Hanks" (Zach, Soul Love Song)
* "Dog Car Insurance" (Jess, 90s Alt Rock Ballad)
* "Mock Trial Sock Hop" (Jess and Zach, Gilbert & Sullivan)
* "Mud Cake" (Zach, Punk)
* "All Caitlin Knows" (Jess, Pop Ballad)
* "Angel Music" (Zach and Jess, Unnamed Track)

## 5 Classic Hanks Films!

This is a short impromptu game where Jess brings up a Tom Hanks Apple movie package that doesn't have the movies you think would be in them, and everyone tries to guess which five they were.

* Forrest Gump (only true classic)
* Catch Me If You Can
* The Terminal
* Road To Perdition
* A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

## As We Say Every Week...

you're gonna wanna hold on to open it a little more.
Undercovers 5

***Undercovers 5*** is the one hundred and forty-seventh episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts and guests chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. It features guests Jason Sheridan and Mike Carlson of Podcast: The Ride. Undercovers continues with theme park podcast The Ride hosts Jason and Mike! Zach and Jess sing solo songs to pre-made tracks inspired by conversation, and Mike takes a dive into his own song about the pure love between bears.

## Episode Description

We’re back Undercovers this week with 2/3 of the hilarious show, Podcast: The Ride! Jason Sheridan and Mike Carlson join Jess, Zach and the fam band to talk and sing about “Ludwig von Koopa”, “Watto” and “Duffy and Shellie May”, the Disney bears.

## Cast

* Mike Carlson
* Jessica McKenna
* Brett Morris
* Scott Passarella
* Zach Reino
* Jason Sheridan
* Dana Wickens

## Songs

* "Little Sheds Full Of Food" (Jess, Oiled Thunder)
* "The Legend Of The Hatbox Ghost" (Zach, A Million Different Me's)
* "Duffy and Shellie May" (Mike, Unnamed Track)
* "River Country, U.S.A." (Jess, Opening Number)
* "Discount Sabers" (Zach, Funk)
* "Ludwig Von Koopa's Sing" (Jess and Zach, Jovial)
Throwing the Robot Planet for a Loop

***Throwing the Robot Planet for a Loop*** is the seventy-first episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical*, and features guest Flula Borg.

## Episode Description

Actor, comedian and musician Flula Borg joins Jess and Zach for the most insane robotic OFF BOOK yet, packed with whalebots, submarinebots, computer-stuff blow holes, Roomba birds and more craziness. With songs like "We Are All Cars," "It's a Dream to Be a Submarine," and "Make It a Sky," this new show will surely hydroplane into your heart.

## Musical Cast

### Flula Borg

* Chorus Car #3
* Chorus submarine
* ~~Clark~~ Thomas the battle submarine-bot (in a pony) and now a pterodactyl
* Formerly Roomba bird #2
* Klevman the Bronco car
* German Captain Planet

### Jessica McKenna

* Chorus Car #1
* Catamaran boat
* Unnamed submarine
* Whale-bot #1
* Formerly Roomba bird #1

### Zach Reino

* Chorus Car #3
* Chorus plane
* Spencer the submarine
* Whale-bot #2
* Polly the formerly Roomba bird
* Rodney the Bronco car

## Songs

* "We Are All Cars" (7:15)
* "It's a Dream to Be a Submarine" (11:08)
* "We Are Robots" (15:16)
* "Make It a Sky" (21:40)
* "Hydroplaning" (27:35)
* "Perhaps We Poop a Peninsula" (31:35)
* "Kevin Costner's Waterworld" (36:42)
* "Weapons of Love" (41:24)
* "Captain Planet/A New World" (Finale) (47:46)

Closing Song:

* "Loop" (Flula Throws Us for a Loop) (58:23)

## List of Love Weapons

* Love machine guns
* Love cannons
* Hugs
* Putting their needs before yours
* Listening to them all of the time
* Generally being super kind

## Trivia

* Scott isn't present for the first half of the episode so instead of piano accompaniment, Flula shows off his impressive looper skills.
* The chorus of closing song "Loop" is a parody of Salt-N-Pepa's "Shoop."
Welcome to Snow Time, There's Snow Time Like The Present!

***BONUS: Welcome to Snow Time, There's Snow Time Like The Present!*** is a Stitcher Premium exclusive episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical*. The episode follows a loose "jam sesh" format, wherein the hosts chat with one another and occasionally improvise standalone songs. As the last of the bonus episodes roll in, get warm and toasty while you listen to a song questioning the old woman in a shoe, the origin story of Lightning Man, and a pop ballad about Cozy.

## Episode Description

Ok, ok ok! The one with the ba ba bas is Jess McKenna, the one with the ba ba ba echos is Zach Reino and together they can agree, that ghosts are cold. They also can bring you unforgettable ditties like *When Do We Eat I Need To Know, What To Do About That Big Ol Shoe, A Wine By Any Other Name is Still a Wine, They Call Me Lightning Man I've Got a Lightning Bolt On My Face, It Was A Big Santa We're Talking 30-40 Feet,* and for the grand finale, a lyric generated song called Cozy Never Had a Woe!

## Cast

* Jessica McKenna
* Zach Reino
* Scott Passarella
* Brett Morris

## Songs

* "When Do We Eat I Need To Know" (4:37)
* "What To Do About That Big Ol Shoe" (11:46)
* "A Wine By Any Other Name is Still a Wine" (18:10)
* "They Call Me Lightning Man I've Got a Lightning Bolt On My Face" (29:05)
* "It Was A Big Santa We're Talking 30-40 Feet" (42:03)
* "Cozy Never Had a Woe!" (These Lyrics Do Not Exist) (59:49)
What's the Tea?

***What's the Tea?*** is the one hundred and first episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical.* It features guest James Adomian.

## Episode Description

James Adomian (The Underculture) joins Jess and Zach for an all new musical packed with mysterious tea shops, witches, a blood moon, and more! With songs like “Have a Cup of Tea and Let It Play Out”, “First Foot In The Door”, and “Can We Trick The Witch?”, this ep is the perfect companion to a good cup of tea!

## Musical Cast

### James Adomian

* Daniel, welder
* Brian Ownsadog

### Zach Reino

* Neil, subway sandwich
* Magdalena, a witch
* William Collector
* Greg, Neil's friend
* Old southern guy

## Songs

* "Have a Cup of Tea and Let It Play Out" (8:54)
* "Sarah's Prophe-tea" (13:44)
* "First Foot in the Door" (20:26)
* "Can We Trick the Witch?" (28:45)
* "A Brass Menagerie" (36:40)
* "Do We Have Free Will?" (40:55)
* "Greg's Cleats" (44:15)
* "Score A Goal" (48:15)
* "There's Brian" (50:27)
* "Every Zone in L.A. is Zone for Dreams" (54:57)

Closing Song:

* "Put Ice on It, Summer Style" (Summer Jam) (1:02:15)

## William Collector's Order

* Flamingo made of springs and gears
* A frog made of gears
* A rabbit whose ears are made of springs
* A giraffe that makes people laugh, made of metal things
* A penguin, made from the parts of an old car
* A manta ray, mid-swimming
* A turtle with a complete turtle-range of motion
Touched by a Gabriel

***Touched by a Gabriel*** is the eighteenth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features guest Ashley Ward. It follows archangel Gabriel, who, nostalgic for the days when his friend, God, was wrathful and violent, descends to Earth to cause "mischief."

## Episode Description

This week, Ashley Ward *(Baby Wants Candy)* stars in this heavenly new musical filled with old and new testament fun, (plus peach AND mango margaritas!). With songs like "A Happy Day in Heaven," "I Miss the Old God," and "Purgatory Wishes," you won't go to hell for listening to these tunes too many times!

## Musical Cast

### Ashley Ward

* Britney
* Kelsey
* Purgatory Administrator #3
* Eve
* Brently, the Angel of Eating Stamps
* Kerry-Anne

### Jessica McKenna

* Angel #1
* (Cool) God
* Trevor Savinitforever
* Debbie
* Junior Nicely
* Banker
* School Teacher
* Boy Playing with a Loop
* Pokey Demon
* Purgatory Administrator #1
* Jesus
* Townsperson #1

### Zach Reino

* Gabriel
* Derk
* Waiter #1
* Jack Nicely (Pa)
* Assassin
* Girl Playing with a Rope
* Purgatory Administrator #2
* Old Kelsey (Before she clears her throat)
* (Hot) Satan

## Songs

* "A Happy Day in Heaven" (3:50)
* "I Miss the Old God" (7:54)
* "Come with Me" (11:52)
* "Trevor" (16:43)
* "Jack Nicely's Famous Ice Cream" (22:50)
* "Forty Years of Pain" (27:31)
* "Purgatory Wishes" (30:30)
* "Share a Margarita" (34:12)
* "One Arm at a Time (Put On Our Wings)" (38:27)
* "The Thing with the Ice Cream" (42:13)
* "Be Good to Each Other (Finale)" (47:59)

Closing Song:

* "Many Mumbling Mice" (VH1's Behind the Warm-Up) (56:10)
Win Win

"Win Win" is a song featured in *Hang On, Collider*. Clarence and Christina persuade Carol that whatever can happen would be a good result. Carol is adamant that creating a black hole will destroy the world.

## Lyrics

**Clarence**

I'm just saying it's a win-win

What happens when you hit the switch

Black hole or not, a win-win

It doesn't even matter which

On the one hand you discover a new particle

That's never been seen before

On the other hand we rip a hole in space time

And it maybe devours everything

**Clarence and Christina**

But it's a win-win (win-win)

A win-win (win-win)

**Clarence**

It could be a win-win-window into something new

**Carol**

Something new

**Clarence**

A win-win

A win-win

And Carol, I'm rooting for you

And also for a black hole

'Cause either way, a win-win (win-win)

**Carol**

Oh, you know I've always loved how science is full of collaboration

But I think that maybe we have to stop at this station

Because I need you to understand that this means we're dead and gone

It's not a win-win, it's a win-or everything goes wrong

**Clarence and Christina**

So you're saying it's a win-win

**Carol**

Win-lose

I'm saying it's a win-and death to all life here

A win-lose

**Christina**

Win win win win win win win win win

**Clarence**

It sounds like you're pronouncing win in a weird way

Say it again

**Carol**

I can't believe we've worked shoulder to shoulder for years

**Clarence and Christina**

To shoulder to shoulder to shoulder

**Carol**

And it's only at the moment I'm about to flip the switch

That I see you never understood the sitch

We can't make a black hole

We can't make a black hole

**Christina**

Carol, I don't mean to worry you

But I think I speak on behalf of all society when I say

We're looking forward to your black hole

**Carol (spoken)**

*Oh my gosh.*

**Clarence and Christina**

Cause that would be a win-win

Either science or a hole in the fabric of time

Win-win

Either science happens or everything is fine

Win win win win win

Win-win

**Clarence**

It doesn't matter which

Even with a black hole, it's a win-win

And that is the sitch

**Carol**

Definitely not the sitch

**Clarence**

That's the sitch

**Carol**

Definitely not the sitch

**Clarence and Christina**

That's the sitch

**Carol**

Definitely not the sitch

I'm gonna hold for some time before I flip this switch
Vodka & Whisky

**Matt Gourley**

* Bruno

**Zach Reino**

* Pauly

"Vodka & Whisky" is a song featured in *All's Wellford That Ends Willy.* A barkeep has a serious discussion with mobsters Pauly and Bruno about the merits of mixology.

## Lyrics

**Barkeep**

*(spoken) Do you know how to muddle? Do you know what kind of accoutrements go on multiple kinds of cocktails? Do you know the three base ingredients for a well-balanced drink?*

**Bruno**

*(spoken) I don't care about this nonsense, your job or your life! We've come to town and we're taking jobs, right Pauly?*

**Pauly**

*(spoken) That's right.*

The only kind of drink that you need to know

Is a drink with the name of the thing inside it:

Vodka!

**Bruno**

Vodka!

**Pauly**

Whisky!

**Bruno**

Whisky!

**Pauly**

If you get all fancy with your mixers and cherries,

I will have to deny it.

I only drink vodka,

Sometimes gin and also whisky.

So yeah, I can't do your job,

Maybe that is true.

But you're gonna give me protection money

Or I'm taking that job from you.

**Bruno**

Maybe you don't give us a job,

But I take it, what the heck.

You do the work,

I get the paycheck.

Ha ha ha.

**Pauly**

Screw triple sec!

Vodka!

**Bruno**

Vodka!

**Pauly**

Whisky!

**Bruno**

Whisky!

**Pauly**

Gin!

**Bruno**

Tonic!

**Barkeep**

*(spoken) You see, you know that sometimes you need to mix a little something else with just the liquor.*

**Bruno**

You tricked me!

**Barkeep**

*(spoken) Oh yes, you can't just have...*

Just the spirits, with that soon you will bore.

I promise this is a passion, it is not a chore.

You can't do what I do 'cause I use my heart,

And I know good drinks have three parts.

**Pauly**

*(spoken) Well no, gin and tonic's only got two parts, it's got...*

Well it's got the gin and the tonic

Are the two things that make it sublime.

You wouldn't add anything else to it.

**Barkeep**

Except maybe a slice of lime.

**Pauly**

*(spoken) Wait, what?*

**Barkeep**

Because everything needs the spirit,

Needs the sugar but also the bite.

A gin and tonic without that lime,

That citrus, no, it makes it right.

**Pauly**

Okay well, Bruno and Paulie,

We've got a lot to think about.

We should go and get a book about how to bartend,

And then we'll come back and shout

**Pauly and Bruno**

All about vodka!

**Barkeep**

Vodka!

**Pauly and Bruno**

And whisky!

**Bruno**

Maybe tonic now that we know a little about it.

**Pauly**

Yeah, lime as well.

**Pauly and Bruno**

But mostly vodka!

**Barkeep**

Vodka!

**Pauly and Bruno**

And whisky!

**Barkeep**

Whisky!

**Pauly**

We'll be back sure as you can see,

Bruno and Pauly.

**Bruno**

After me.

**Pauly**

*(spoken) After you.*

**Bruno**

*(spoken) After me.*

**Pauly**

*(spoken) No, after you.*

**Bruno**

*(spoken) No, after me. I'm basically agreeing with you.*

**Pauly**

*(spoken) Okay, you go first and I'll leave.*
Legacy

"Legacy" is a song featured in *We Object to Fear: LIVE!*. Seniors and mock trial prosecution attorneys Brian and Clark discuss the importance of making an impact on the lowerclassmen.

## Lyrics

**Brian**

It's about legacy.

What people remember.

It's about the path you leave behind.

It's about legacy.

To the sophomores and freshmen.

When you walk through the halls,

You should blow their fuckin' mind.

If a freshman comes up to me,

And he knows me from mock trial,

I want him to be, like, visibly shaken,

For, like, at least a while.

And it's just my goal,

Think it's clear for all to see,

That mock trial

Is about legacy.

**Clark**

It's about legacy.

**Brian**

It's about legacy.

**Clark**

What they say when you're gone.

**Brian**

When you're gone.

**Clark**

It's not about the verdict,

Who was right and who was wrong.

**Brian**

It doesn't matter at all!

**Clark**

No, the verdict doesn't matter.

**Brian**

No, no no!

**Clark**

There's a separate scoring sheet.

**Brian**

Right!

**Clark**

And this is about a legacy,

Doin' things that they cannot repeat.

**Both**

It's about legacy. Legacy!

**Brian**

What the tiny kids remember

About you and me,

L-E-G-A-C-Y,

**Both**

Legacy!

**Clark**

But what if we're wrong?

What if we should let them build upon

What we did, so one day

They're better than we were?

**Brian**

The words that you just said right now

Make me shake in anticipation.

I'm so angry, what is this,

some kind of cross-examination?

**Both**

It's about legacy. Legacy!

**Clark**

How all those kids remember you and me?

**Brian**

L-E-G...whoops, how do you spell that?

I did it a second ago...

**Clark**

L-E-G...A-C-Y?

**Brian**

That's it.

**Both**

Legacy!