The irony collection

The characters on Castle bring up *irony* quite often.

**Hedge Fund Homeboys (1x03)**

Beckett: You know the school?

Castle: Oh, I've been kicked out of all of New York's finer educational institutions at least once. The irony is, now that I'm rich and famous, they all claim me as an alumnus and want money.

**Hell Hath No Fury (1x04)**

Beckett: Why is it always the family value guys that get caught with their pants down?

Castle: Because the universe loves irony. And because most people are hypocrites.

*and*

Creason: Irony is that if I release those photos now, the people will love her even more.

**A Chill Goes Through Her Veins (1x05)**

Montgomery: Her body gets dumped because this guy Wyler didn't pay a bill? That's ...

Castle: You can say it. Pretty cold. Ironic that such a selfish act ultimately revealed the truth.

**Ghosts (1x08)**

Lee Wax: Cynthia told me that on the night of the bombing, she had tried to back out. When she realized that the captain was aboard, she argued with Susan Mailer to call it off, but Susan refused. Susan went to set the bomb herself, and ironically died in the explosion. She was vaporized.

**Little Girl Lost (1x09)**

Castle: Hey. What're you doin' up, stressed about finals?

Alexis: American Lit's today. I was having nightmares about Hester Prynne .

Castle: Ah. The irony for you is not getting an "A" because you should.

**The Double Down (2x02)**

Mr. Hinkle: We were just starting to make progress. You know the irony here? Her death is my moment of greatest crisis, and I don’t have her to lean on. Hunh.

*(A few more lines of dialogue.)*

Castle: Oh, by the way, it’s a common mistake. It’s not ironic that Dr. Causeway’s not here for you to lean on, it’s just simply tragic. It would be *ironic* if her death made you feel better.

**When the Bough Breaks (2x05)**

Beckett: The irony is it never would have connected them. We don’t go through a victim’s mail unless there’s probable cause and a warrant first.

Castle: Thank you.

Beckett: For what?

Castle: For using *irony* correctly. Ever since the Alanis Morissette song, people use it when they actually mean coincidence. It drives me *nuts*.

Beckett: Yeah, well, it must be your great grammatical influence over me.

**Famous Last Words (2x07)**

Sky: She said that I could come back. She said that we were gonna be a team. But I had to get clean. Gotta clean up, baby girl. Gonna end up dead. Hmmm. Thus. Irony. How was I supposed to get clean? When she couldn’t even do it.

**The Third Man (2x14)**

Ryan: It's ironic, you know -- people put on vacation holds to avoid break-ins.

Castle: Good use of irony.

**Suicide Squeeze (2x15)**

Sanchez: I don't know what to tell you. I've never seen that girl before.

Castle: Well, then you should invest in some corrective lenses. Our surveillance team saw her coming in here not half an hour ago.

Sanchez: Surveillance team? You're watching us now?

Beckett: Only within the scope of the law.

Castle: The watcher becomes the watched. I'm a big fan of irony. Ask her.

**Tick, Tick, Tick … (2x17)**

*Castle holds up a newspaper featuring a sketch of the suspected killer who has just left a body at Beckett’s door with the newspaper.*

Castle: Talk about irony.

**Under the Gun (3x03)**

Beckett: He walked into a B&E last night, and before he had a chance to use his registered firearm, the killer knocked him over the head with that.

Castle: A sharpshooter award. That is ironic on so many levels. No, just two.

**Poof, You're Dead (3x12)**

Chuck: He wanted me to get him something, something ... illegal.

Beckett: C4 exposives?!

Chuck: Ironic, right? He wants explosives from me when that's what he got me booted for.

**The Dead Pool (3x21)**

Castle: You know it is ironic, the one man Zack thought he could trust, his mentor, turns out to be his killer.

Beckett: Yeah, speaking of mentor ...

**Head Case (4x03)**

Dr. Weiss: He also happens to be an old friend. Marvin Medical School. It's ironic he died so young.

Castle: Why's that?

Dr. Weiss: He conducted cutting edge research in developing life extension techniques.

**Eye of the Beholder (4x05)**

Joy McHugh: You don’t understand. My husband was going to take it away. I just took what was rightfully mine. Brian Hayes just showed up out of nowhere. He saw me with the Fist in my hands. What was I supposed to do?

Beckett: You know what’s ironic? Your husband would have let you have the Fist. He didn’t even want it.

**A Dance With Death (4x18)**

MAX: Let’s just say that I was relieved when we was gone. Ironic really.

**Significant Others (5x10)**

MARTHA: This isn’t a flop house, darling. You’ve gotta stop letting freeloaders just live here.

CASTLE: Please tell me you see the irony.

**Recoil (5x13)**

BRACKEN: Well. Hard to miss the irony of this situation.

**Limelight (6x13)**

BECKETT: Is there any security cam footage we can pull?

RYAN: Not back here.

CASTLE: Ironic, seeing as how she spent her entire life in front of cameras.

**That '70s Show (6x20)**

CASTLE: Captain Gates! I thought you were at a terrorism seminar?

GATES: It was canceled due to a bomb threat.

CASTLE: Which is ironic –

**Meme Is Murder (7x05)**

CASTLE: Ironic that by catching him we’re giving him exactly what he wanted. More followers.

**The Time Of Our Lives (7x06)**

CASTLE: I have a question for you. And I would love a non-ironic answer.

**Fidelis Ad Mortem (8x15)**

BECKETT: That would be the height of irony, huh? We managed to successfully hide our relationship from LokSat only to get outed by your mom.

**Dead Again (8x19)**

CASTLE: How was he poisoned?

LANIE: In his water. The filter underneath the kitchen sink was tampered with.

ESPOSITO: Ironically, he works for the city as a safety inspector.