Karl Marx

—**Lenin**, the Leninist.

**Karl Marx** is a creature that's busy being in space looking for something that will cleanse the cultures of the universe and unite them under Galactic Marxism.

He was born on Earth in Kaiser Germany and given a golden spoon. He saw the injustices caused by Capitalism and wrote a book called Unser Kampf, where he invented Marxism, Socialism, and Communism, in that order. He advocated for the elimination of certain culture, absolute government control, and then Anarchy, in that order.

This guy was not supposed to be born. He was not a part of God's Plan and yet he was still born. That is because his birth was a heckening event, a thing that couldn't be controlled by God.

## Spoon In Hand

Karl Marx was born during Kaiser Germany to rich parents in 1834. He lived on the top floor of the Reich Chancellery because his parents had connections with Kaiser Wilhelm and they were able to rent it out from him. He went to a rich people school, where he learned Math, Science, and German Language Arts. Math was also known as Common Sense, but Marx couldn't figure out what two plus two was, what two times two was, and what two divided by one half was. He hated math and German common sense because of this.

His parents made him go to church, which he didn't like because he didn't want to go and learn about Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior. He didn't participate in community activities like giving out food, donating money, and education. He thought that his parents were oppressing him by making him do these activities and not allowing him to do what he wanted, such as looking at the weekly porn mag and drinking Genocider when he wasn't supposed to or allowed to, or as he called it, "reading books". He hated religion because of this.

In his teens, he got to read the newspaper, a thing that his parents monitored him on so he wouldn't be influenced by whatever it said. He thought this was a stupid, nonsensical moderation of the truth. He thought his parents were hiding something, something that would give him true knowledge. When he eventually got to reading the papers, he found out about homeless people, homeless people violence, very rich people and businesses, and workers. He spent weeks analyzing and researching these things and came to the conclusion that there were the oppressor class and the oppressed class, all caused by Capitalism. He found that out without even going into the streets of Berlin or looking at the company factories. This is because he has very smart magic power of, I am just like you.

## Unser Kampf

Just getting out of his teens, but not out of the Chancellery, he wrote his novel Unser Kampf. It was about the plight of homeless people and workers and the advantaged normal people and businesses. The book argues that Capitalism and religion causes this oppressor-oppressed culture, and that the solution is the elimination of certain cultures and religion, morals, and whatever that stopped people from pleasuring themselves and caused inequalities. Complete government control of the economy and culture and information so that everyone is equal. And the implosion of the government so that all people are free. He wanted the People to rise up against the oppressiveness of Capitalism and religion and certain culture. He called this process Marxism, Socialism, and Communism.

He wrote this book without ever going to the ground and looking at these Capitalistic injustices. He sat up in his porcelain throne of the ivory tower and dumped out Our Struggle, pretending to be of the unfortunate class, criticizing Capitalism, the system that he owes his great life to. The unfortunately grand thing about this book is that it worked well, extremely well. People all over the world read this book and were convinced that they needed to enact the Marxism to Communism process in order to be free.

He used the earnings of this book and his parents to buy a castle far away from the cities, and poor people, for a reason people couldn't find. The People thought he was escaping Capitalism to create a Commune, and normal people thought he was just a filthy Capitalist. But he did that because he wanted no one to see him transform into the demon that he is, NME of Kirby the konsumer.

## Relationship With the Lenin Meister

Vladimir Lenin was what Karl Marx thought to be his only protege. Lenin was exiled to Germany, for what Marx thought to be for enacting his process. He thought that Lenin was exiled by a Capitalist government and could become the ultimate enemy to Capitalism. He taught Lenin everything in his books and how he should Revolutionize Russia, using methods that would make Hitler proud. During WWI, Kaiser Wilhelm knew of Lenin the famous revolutionary Marxist, so he exiled him from Germany on a train to Russia with the job of taking out Russia. That would be the last Marx ever saw of Lenin.

### Because He Was With Stalin

He would briefly be in contact with Joseph Stalin, convincing him over letter that the Marxist to Communist process will make the Russian people free. He knew that Lenin was a betrayer of his teachings which is why he wanted Stalin to bring about the complete Communist Revolution. Though, once again, Stalin betrayed him because he was never going to go full Communism; that would be giving up his power. He didn't go find any other proteges because he was transforming into his demonic form.

## True Nightmare

He found out that Stalin betrayed him, so he stopped trying to find a protege and started taking this matter into his own hands. He would travel space to force the universe to bow down to Communism. To do this, he had to find a Dreamstar Wishgranter, a thing that exists in every Playground of the universe that can grant one wish for every one person. Marx's wish was to convert the universe into the Communist utopia that he wanted.

To find the Dreamstar Wishgranter of God's Playground, he first thought he had to find a McMuffin that would take him to it, but he was told by the Eldritch Council of the Milky Way that he needed to triangulate the sound of the Dreamstar Wishgranter. He successfully triangulated the sound of the Dreamstar Wishgranter and B-lined straight to it, not without killing some rivals.

### The Pink Puffball

On his B-line, he ran into Kirby, stopper of evil, The Holy Spirit in physical form, the one who eats a lot. Kirby was the representation of all he hated on Earth, Capitalism, so he tried to eliminate him, but Kirby got on his Warp Star and travelled off. Marx followed him because he knew that Kirby would be a threat to his dream, but Kirby wasn't fazed by this idiot since he has seen bigger evil. Kirby was also travelling to the Dreamstar Wishgranter, so he could tell it that he wishes that nobody could use it for bad things. Kirby basically led Marx right to it, so he had to kill Marx before the Dreamstar could countdown.

Kirby and Marx had a battle that would determine the fate of the Milky Way. Kirby struck Marx really hard, enough to get him to believe that he was dead. But Marx woke up during the Dreamstar's countdown and then started to say his wish. He wanted the universe to become Communist and this was the time, but the Dreamstar said that wishes that affect everyone are limited to the Playground limits. Marx, annoyed, began to say his wish again, but Kirby cut him in half before he could say Galactic Communism.

## Trivia

* He is the first to write "the People" with a capital P, in Unser Kampf
* God doesn't like this guy
	+ And neither does Satan