Newbies

(Mr. Monopoly is seen in his office working on a laptop)

Mr. Monopoly: Soy el Sr. Monopoly y esta es mi ciudad! Ok, now just edit the file and-

SpongeBob: (Enter) Mr. Monopoly, sir

Mr. Monopoly: What is it?

SpongeBob: Squidward has been ru- (phone rings)

Mr. Monopoly: Hold on a minute. (takes phone out of pocket, ringing stops) Hola!

Other End: Huh?

Mr. Monopoly: Ummmm....

Other End: Jefferson? That you?

Mr. Monopoly: Yeah..... (sweats)

Other End: We're moving today!

Mr. Monopoly: Ah, that'd make sense! Which board are you from?

Other End: Scrabble.

Mr. Monopoly: Any experience with Monopoly?

Other End: NOPE!

Mr. Monopoly: Yeah... I never had any experience when I moved here. Go to go, bye! (chucks phone out of window) You were saying?

SpongeBob: Squidward go hurt in a gym by these tough guys, so he was rushed to hospital.

Mr. Monopoly: What does that have to do with me?

SpongeBob: I never really got that far, (sweats) sir.

Mr. Monopoly: Listen up. (uses his cane to drag SpongeBob closer to the desk) Today at twelve a bunch of 'noobs' will come to town. It's your job to teach them everything you know.

SpongeBob: But I've only been here a week!

Mr. Monopoly: I don't care. I've got important paperwork to do.

SpongeBob: Like what?

Mr. Monopoly: Dora la Exploradora está llegando la próxima semana!

SpongeBob: (backs away slowly) I'll leave you to it then (leaves).

(Scene: SpongeBob's room)

SpongeBob: How should I do this? I can't bring in the actual game so- (eyes sparkle) I know just what to do! (scene cuts to Patrick's room where Patrick is watching tv)

TV: Congratulations, SpongeBob SquarePants!

Patrick: Interesting. (phone rings)

TV: Join us next time when we'll tell you who has the most fame! (half the sentence is cut off by the phone ringing)

Patrick: Will you shut up! (phone stops ringing) There. (knocking is heard) FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

???: (offscreen) Patrick, it's me open up.

Patrick: NO! YOU RUINED MY HAPPY TIME!

???: (sighs) Just meet me at go at twelve.

Patrick: Why should I?

???: Just come, okay?

Patrick: Okay? You think I'm *okay*? No mister, I certainly am not *okay*!

???: Fine, I'm sorry.

Patrick: Apology accepted. Who are you anyway? (scene cuts to Go) SpongeBob! You'll never believe this! There was this weird guy who interrupted my TV time and-

SpongeBob: Told you to meet him here at twelve.

Patrick: How did you know?

SpongeBob: (facepalm) No time for that, I need you to help me.

Patrick: Make it quick, he'll be here any minute.

SpongeBob: Mr. Monopoly has asked us to teach 'noobs' how everything works.

Patrick: I see, what's a noob?

SpongeBob: Well a noob is... bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. (as he is saying this the backround turns dark, then light, then dark and light again) So to sum it all up-

Kenny: Hello? (screen turns to four new residents walking towards the screen)

SpongeBob: Hello, ladies!

Dog: Actually, we are pretty much all men.

The Boot: Par me.

Sailor Kid: Wee have carm to play Mo-no-po-ly.

Patrick: Obvious statement is obvious. (ding)

Kenny: So I'm Kenny the Cat.

Sailor Kid: I am a bwoat, shailor keed.

The Boot: I'm the boot. And this dawg here is-

Dog: Doggy, and I'm thirsty!

SpongeBob: I'm SpongeBob, I'll be filling in for Mr. Monopoly. Oh, almost forgot about you Patrick. (close up of Patrick) So, have you ever played Monopoly before?

Dog: Nope.

SpongeBob: Have you been near a board like this?

Sailor Kid: Weev been nar Mo-no-po-ly Jooneear!

SpongeBob: Well, that's a start. So the die spins and whoever is having their turn moves that many spaces.

The Boot: Could you say that again, just for me?

SpongeBob: (sighs) Why don't we just read the manuals?

Sailor Kid: I can't weed!

SpongeBob: So when you land on a square you can either buy it or act like nothing is there. You can also-

Dog: Like big bootays?

Patrick: Is that even a word?

Dog: Nope...

Patrick: Anyone for scones? (scene cuts to the 'noobs' running around the board)

SpongeBob: When will they ever listen? If anyone can handle them it's Mr. Monopoly ain't it Patrick? Patrick? (scene cuts to Patrick running around a field. The scene cuts back) Gosh, this is thirsty work!

Mr. Monopoly: (enters) Guess who's back, back again.

SpongeBob: Thank Neptune your here!

Mr. Monopoly: What seems to be the problem?

SpongeBob: They won't listen! I'm sorry Mr. Monopoly!

Mr. Monopoly: Yeah, I thought they might. Well, better send them back. (points cane at them and sucks them up) I've opened a café down the road, I know how you like scones.

SpongeBob: That sounds great! Hey Patrick, we're gonna get scones! (they walk offscreen, scene cuts to them in the kitchen)

Mr. Monopoly: I have scones in that box up there.

SpongeBob: This one? (holds out a box full of scones)

Mr. Monopoly: Yeah, that one. Take as many as you like! (scene cuts to his office) Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Better let them out first. (wacks cane on floor, the 'noobs' fall out) Yes, I know it is July, but you were not listening! No wonder you are noobs! I forbidden you to return!

Kenny: Please, give us another chance!

Mr. Monopoly: SpongeBob hasn't been here for a week and has learnt! Now scram! (they run off ending the episode)