Dan's Hoverboards/Transcript

The following is the transcript for the Dumb Teacher Season 2 episode, *Dan's Hoverboards.*

## Dan's Secret

*(The episode opens at Dan's house, where Cheryl is seen cooking eggs and bacon, Johnny is seen sitting on the left reading a newspaper while drinking coffee, and Dan is seen eating a blue cereal. In front of him is a box of Mikey-O's and a carton of milk. After eating a few spoonful of cereal and milk, he looks at the box, then chuckles for 2 seconds)*

* **Cheryl**: What's so funny, Danny-kins?
* **Dan**: Mom, you know how every box of Mikey-O's features a random quote from Michael Vlokozu and his family in each box?
* **Cheryl**: Yes. What's up?
* **Dan**: Well, here's a funny one from David Vlokozu. You'll laugh your socks off after hearing it. *(reads quote on box)* As the son of Sir Mikey and being the third prime minister of El Kadsre, it's actually not that easy, not because of me being part of the Vlokozu family, but because of those damn Anti-Vlokists from the UEKN's government shunning me for being the son of, "an dictator who disguised his true plans of world peace for world domination". Come on, you narcissistic bastards, you know better! I am an family member of the Vlokozus, and I'm proud of it, so suck it like the baby and their pacifier, and go back to Hate-Town, Anti-EK!

*(Both Dan and Cheryl laugh for 3 seconds)*

* **Cheryl**: You gotta admit, for a former prime minister of your favorite country, he sure knows it's wrong to shun others for their heritage and loves poking fun at it. I always wonder why they overuse 'the' a lot in their English. Might as well be talkin' in that grammar now. *(clears throat, then speaks in an El Kadsreian accent)* It's such the lovely day to go out for some crumpets and the walk, huh? The good day like this can't possibly go wrong, right? *(Cheryl laughs hysterically for 2 seconds, but then notices her eggs burning on the stove. She goes back to her normal accent)* Oh, shit, the eggs!

*(Cheryl rushes to get the fire extinguisher next to the refrigerator to extinguish the fire on her pan as Dan finishes his cereal. He then gets out of his seat)*

* **Dan**: Well, they also substitute a with 'an' as well. I'm heading off to school now. Bye, Mom.

*(Cheryl kisses his cheek)*

* **Cheryl**: Bye, Danny-kins, have a great day at school. If your teacher tries assaulting your friends again, just kick his racist ass. Oh, and don't forget your one-of-a-kind hoverboard!
* **Dan**: Got it!

*(Dan goes upstairs for five seconds, then comes downstairs holding a red hoverboard and his orange backpack, which features Goku's symbol on it)*

* **Dan**: See you after-school! Can't wait for some pizza tonight.

*(Dan leaves his house through the front door, closes the door, walks to the sidewalk, drops his hoverboard on the floor, gets on it, and then rides it off on the right, heading towards his school. Cheryl looks through the left window)*

* **Cheryl**: Johnny.
* **Johnny**: Hm?
* **Cheryl**: Our son's pretty smart when it comes to his stuff like his hoverboard, but, do you ever think people will love hoverboards if full plans for those ever come into fruition?
* **Johnny**: I dunno.
* **Cheryl**: Well, I'm not sure either, but, if they were fully a thing, I think they'd be the next Moon Shoes. I mean, Dan enjoys riding it so much because he basically built it. If that's the case, I think people would love them the same way Dan doe-

*(Cheryl stops talking notices 3 boys riding hoverboards similar to Dan's hoverboard, but one is blue, one is green, and the other is cyan. They are seen wearing safety equipment. Cheryl appears shocked)*

* **Cheryl**: First I'm talking about hoverboards and now I'm seeing other people ride them? I must be seeing things.

*(Cheryl walks to her couch and sits down on it. She then turns on the TV, which is on GHTV)*

* **GHTV Announcer**: Coming up next on GHTV, the start of our 3 hour-long marathon of everybody's favorite 70s sitcom family, The Brady Bunch, only on GHTV, Greenhill Television.
* **Cheryl**: *(sighs)* Finally, a true sitcom family. Surely this marathon should keep my mind off of Dan for a while.

*(The season 1 Brady Bunch intro plays on the living room's Phony TV. The scene then cuts to the front of Dan's house for 3 seconds. The text, "one hour later..." is seen on the bottom of the screen. The scene then cuts back to the inside of the living room, where Cheryl is seen eating a container of Cup Noodles)*

* **Marcia**: *(on TV)* Dinner's ready, Greg and Pet- *(a bonk sound is heard)* Ow, *Jesus* Christ!
* **Peter**: *(on TV)* Oh, my god, Marcia, are you okay?
* **Marcia**: *(on TV)* Okay? *Okay?!* I AM *LESS* THAN OKAY, YOU SONS OF BITCHES! YOU TWO BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE WITH THAT STUPID FOOTBALL!!

*(Fighting noises are heard from the TV as a laugh track is heard)*

* **Greg**: *(on TV)* Marcia, stop! What the fuck are you beating us up for?
* **Cheryl**: *(laughs)* Good ol' Marcia Brady, she never fails to crack a housewife like me up.
* **GHTV Announcer**: We'll be right back with our Brady Bunch marathon after these messages. Only on GHTV.

*(Afterwards, the doorbell rings. Cheryl puts her Cup Noodles down on a nightstand next to the couch and walks up to the door. She opens it, revealing to be a UPS man. A big package is seen behind him)*

* **UPS Man**: Hi, I have a package for Dan Evans. 1347 Avenue C, Greenhill, Michigan, USA?
* **Cheryl**: Uh, I'm his mother, so, does that still count?
* **UPS Man**: It does. *(hands out clipboard)* Sign here, please.

*(Cheryl signs the paper on the clipboard, the man puts the clipboard away, then uses a dolly to carry the package into the house)*

* **UPS Man**: Have a nice day!

*(The man walks out of the door with the dolly and closes the door. Cheryl looks at the package)*

* **Cheryl**: This package must be *huge*! And what's this? *(looks at a stamp on the package saying, "IMPORTED FROM EL KADSRE" with the El Kadsreian flag below the text)* El Kadsre? I wonder what Dan got from this country? Probably a life-size Toa figurine he won in a sweepstakes he never told me or Johnny about. Let's take a look inside.

*(The scene cuts to a dark background. After a second, a door falls down, revealing the background to be the crate's interior. Cheryl uses a crowbar to open the crate. The camera then cuts to the package's contents, which is revealed to be a Nova Orbis arcade cabinet)*

* **Cheryl**: A Nova Orbis cabinet? This must've been what my Danny-kins won in a sweepstakes. I'll grab the dolly and put this in his room.

*(The scene cuts to a shot of the stairs, where Cheryl can be seen carrying the cabinet on a dolly while she whistles. After 3 seconds, the scene cuts to a dark background for a brief moment before a door opens, revealing Cheryl. As Cheryl enters the room and turns on a light switch, "Forget Me Nots" by Patrice Rushen plays for one second before the lights turn on, revealing Dan's room to be decorated with expensive stuff, shocking Cheryl)*

* **Cheryl**: What the?

TBA

## Dan's Hoverboards

TBA

* **Cheryl**: Hello, son. Please close the door.

*(Dan closes the door shocked at seeing his room's contents next to his mom)*

* **Cheryl**: Now, I believe these items in your room belong to you. Where did you get the money to buy these expensive items?
* **Dan**: *(nervously)* Wh-Wh-Where did I get the money? M-My friends gave them to me.
* **Cheryl**: I don't believe you. I know your friends aren't rich enough to buy all this stuff. Now, I don't wanna hear *any* excuses. Tell me how you bought this shit.
* **Dan**: *(nervously)* W-Well, one time ago, I was walking down the street, and all of a sudden, this random guy popped out of nowhere and gave me...
* **Cheryl**: If you're referring to that rich virgin downtown who always gives kids free and expensive stuff, he moved to Hartford, Connecticut 3 years ago.
* **Dan**: Um... Uh, I-
* **Cheryl**: *(sternly)* Son, I'm going to ask you again. *Where* did you get the money to buy these items?
* **Dan**: Oh, um, you see, I clicked my fingers once, and then all of a sudden, those expensive items magically appeared!
* **Cheryl**: You really expect me to believe that?
* **Dan**: Uh, y-yes?
* **Cheryl**: Daniel, how did you get these items?!
* **Dan**: Mom, please! They're just items!
* **Cheryl**: ITEMS YOU PAYED FOR WITHOUT ASKING FOR PERMISSION! *(takes Dan's lamp off his nightstand and throws it at the wall)* SON, I AM *NOT* GONNA STOP ASKING YOU UNTIL YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH! WHERE DID YOU GET THE FUCKING MONEY?!

TBA