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i don't know how to leave my husband of one year, who is extremely angry. | Summarize the following paragraph: i want out but don't know how to leave. he lived as a gay man from 18 to 32. then he married, then divorced, and we've been together for 4 years, married for 1. i was against the marriage and realize it was a mistake. he's very wonderful but has so much built up anger. he's cross unless he's high (pot). i don't know how i can leave him, as he is my very best friend... he refuses to go to therapy, individual or couple. I see a therapist. i know he doesn't see it this way, but we are both extremely unhappy the way things are. i know we'll spend the rest of our lives this way unless i choose to change things. it makes me want to cheat on him, but i don't think i could live with myself. | openai_summarize |
I get annoyed that my girlfriend is posting on fbook or other social media when I can't text. Is there valid reason to be annoyed? | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm in a long distance relationship of almost 3 months. I can text at work but my SO can't. This is fine except when texts stop coming mid convo with no g2g reason. then after sitting around like an idiot waiting for a texts back see that she's posting her status and commenting back to people on fbook. I realize I shouldn't get so worked up over something small but it just seems like she could either just call after work or maybe text back before going to FB.
I'm probably just overreacting due to added stress from being in a long distance relationship. Is there valid reasoning to be annoyed??? | openai_summarize |
My depressed father wants to get out of his depressed life but he wants to do it alone. I am worried about him. | Summarize the following paragraph: My father lives in a town one hour and a half of car drive away from the city where I study so for the last year we were only seeing each other on weekends.
Last week when I called him to tell him I am comming home early and he said if I can come a day later. I agreed and when I tried to call him the next day he wasn't answering the phone. I got worried and called my aunt (his sister) to check up on him. She said he is depressed and he doesn't want to see anyone.
So a few days later he finaly let me visit him and he told how much he started to hate his life, the job he used to like is now making him stressed but the worst thing is that he is skipping meals. He was never a big fan of food and he was always skinny but he literary stopped earing. He avoids his friends when they go out or on a beer after work. All he does is work and then literary runs home where he reads books and sometimes watches TV. He also ignores friends who used to visit him every day. But luckily he said he wants to change his life othewise he will kill himself or go insane. He also wants to quit smoking. I want to help him but he says he wants to do it alone.
Im so worried about him. I feel like its all my fault because I let him alone. He is NOT a loner by nature. | openai_summarize |
I'm depressed and lonely, how do I make friends? | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm 23, I'm bipolar, and the only person i talk to anymore is my fiance'. I used to have a nicely sized group of friends, but I was the only one who would ever call or text them to see what was going on. Realising this I stopped calling & texting them to see if they were really my friends and now my phone hasn't rung in 5 months.
I've tried meeting a few people from reddit, but I guess I'm just too awkward because nobody wants to hang out with me again, I'm not a "bar person" so I can't just meet people that way.
My constant attempts to make or keep friends fails me every time, no idea what I'm doing wrong, I act confident, I don't talk about myself too much, I don't interrupt, I share my trees, and nothing sticks, so I figure if there is something so wrong with me that nobody wants to be my friend, that I would just get used to being alone.
I would ask how to make friends, but there are so many articles I've read and followed that landed me nowhere. So how do I keep myself from going insane? | openai_summarize |
I was raised by an abusive mother, and I am trying to deal with my insecurities and self sabotage. | Summarize the following paragraph: My mom and I have never gotten along. I was her first child, and I was subject to a lot of verbal abuse, minor physical abuse, and constant manipulation etc while growing up. I was beaten before I was big enough to defend myself, told what a terrible ungrateful person I was on a regular basis, that I was a mistake etc... You get the picture. When I moved out several years ago I limited my contact with her to letters or emails. After a couple of years it seemed like she may have overcome a lot of her issues with me so I reestablished contact. This led to one of her worst episodes and me cutting off communication with her completely. I have no contact with her at this point though she hopes to reestablish our relationship in the future.
I am very close with my younger siblings, and will spend time with them when I can. I feel very protective of them and try to reaffirm their worth, and that they are loved etc. because I believe not having that knowledge while growing up has scarred me to this day. I was very insecure growing up. I had a couple of girlfriends, but they were usually just as broken as I was and they were not happy relationships. I also faced many brutal rejections from women over the years, many of which I believe were a direct result of my insecurities and self sabotage.
I've attended therapy for a couple of years, read all the self improvement books I can get my hands on, and had some very close friends (cousins actually), that have helped me in my attempts to rebuild myself. I dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time but believe I am a capable, confident person at this point. Unfortunately, I still have extreme trust issues, especially with women. I would like to have that closeness and trust in a real relationship, but I feel like I'm the one preventing it from happening, and I don't know how to change it. I have no real desire to go out and meet or approach women because my life experience has been so negative in that regard, my parents relationship being a big factor. How do you learn to trust and accept love? | openai_summarize |
do I cautiously resume being a crazy youth and miss out on The One or continue to avoid these destructive behaviors? I know this sounds stupid, but do any other young people miss out on being... Young? | Summarize the following paragraph: I'll keep it short: I was living with my parents through college and had 7 months of independence between moving to the big city where I met my girlfriend, and moving in with her. It's the happiest relationship of my life and she's my best friend, but I feel as if I've become more domesticated and have been missing out on that thrill of living alone/with roommates. Hell, we're even still independent, I just feel slightly tamed and it makes me wonder if I'm missing something.
That said, I'm pretty much sure I'm in the wrong for feeling I need the space because my behaviors before were kind of reckless. Even at 23, drinking too much, partying too much, and sometimes driving home after. I was making bad choices and she's kept me level. I know I'm wrong for it, but I miss being an alcoholic, carefree crazy. No clue what to do. I shouldn't let myself slip back into that, but I see everyone else having fun and going out to bars and getting wild while I'm out to do the same once a month on average. | openai_summarize |
Wife adamantly wants to move. I think it would be a terrible financial decision. Wife is unhappy staying. | Summarize the following paragraph: My wife and I relocated around eight years ago from a large city to a regional city.
We've been very lucky here. We have two kids (3 and 1), we have paid off our home, bought an investment property, I have established a successful business, and my wife has a job in her field. We have both developed our social circles here.
For the last few months, my wife has been adamantly declaring that we need to relocate back to the larger city. She says that she is chronically unhappy here, and that she needs to start again. She won't compromise, and insists on relocating to the larger city, and not another.
From my perspective, this would be a massive step backward. We would need to sell our house and borrow significantly more money than we had borrowed purchasing our first home, to buy a house significantly smaller. I would effectively have to walk away from a successful business. My wife would have more career opportunities, but not so great that they would offset the losses from the move.
The other thing is that I am not sure that relocating would make her happy. Early in our relationship, for a period my wife lived and worked in the larger city while I lived and worked in the regional city. She was very unhappy, and wanted to stop working to have kids. I'm afraid that within a couple of years of relocating, she may be unhappy with the decision again.
So /r/relationships, do you have any thoughts or solutions? | openai_summarize |
Tried to kill three girls in their bed, only one died. | Summarize the following paragraph: I was 18, and my friend's mom let me borrow her little old Toyota pickup as long as I gave my friend a ride everyday. Sweet deal.
I lived in the middle of the Mojave desert, and my friends and I would 'flog' (fishtail, do donuts, etc.) our vehicles every now and then.
At lunch I filled the car up, two people in the cab, and three in the bed - which had a canopy. We drive out to the desert and I'm whipping the car around and generally being stupid (none of us have our seatbelts on) and I'm fishtailing at about 35-40 when I lose control and the car flips.
I don't remember much except the sound of glass breaking, and my friend Jeff screaming to let him out. As soon as I began to realize what happened my first thought was fuck I just killed the three girls in the bed, I am going to jail. Amazingly, in a stroke of inexplicable luck, no one was hurt. Six kids, three of which were in the bed - none of us wearing belts - and not a scratch on any of us. The kids all ran off leaving me to deal with the Sheriff, which in an even luckier turn of events was my best friend's girl friend's dad, and he didn't even cite me..so yeah I suppose that takes up most of the luck I will get in this life. Someone should have died. | openai_summarize |
18 year old male who has many generally accepted attractive qualities and looks but has never had a girlfriend through high school. Help me please! | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey guys thanks for taking the time to read this. I am a senior in high school who has never had a girlfriend. But I'm clueless and don't get it. I can make girls laugh easy and it seems like collectively they like me. I'm athletic and intelligent now I'm not the most beautiful guy but I'd rate myself on the high side of average and I'm strong. But girls don't go out of their way to flirt with me like I see them do with other guys and won't flirt with me in the same way when I approach them. Also every time I've pursued someone I get lead on. (This doesn't hurt my confidence and is potentially completely my fault ). I play sports, I'm social, and I have friends. What do I do wrong? How can I improve this aspect of my life? | openai_summarize |
boyfriend doesn't help with sex; I hate it. | Summarize the following paragraph: I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and we live together. At first we had sex all the time at least once a day usually more than that. At first I lied about having an orgasm as well until I felt bad and didn't want to lie to him so I told him. Since then he has done literally nothing different and as far as I know hasn't researched any ways to help me get there. I have tried telling him what to do and even asked if he wanted to watch me finish myself off. About 6 months ago I had asked him maybe to buy me a vibrator and I could use it during sex as I am 90% sure I can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation. In the past month or so we haven't really even had sex as I had my wisdom teeth out and had my period so was out of commission for about 2 weeks but it's been an extra 2 weeks on top of that. We also smoke a lot of weed and i know that can ruin someone's sex drive (not mine cause I still get myself off everyday). I'm just wondering how I could make our sex life better? I like the sex we have I just hate how when he's done he just walks away and I'm supposed to finish myself off when he doesn't even bother. Any tips? | openai_summarize |
flirted with a really nice guy at a bar one night and developed a crush. but drunk me ended up getting walked home and fucking his dick of a friend. guilty about that, and reinforcing "nice guys finish last" stereotype. :( i'm dumb. | Summarize the following paragraph: One night i decided to go out for a one night stand. I was by myself on my college campus at the bars when I ran into a friend. She was hammered,but she introduced me to two friends she was with. We'll call them james and matt. I was immediately attracted to james. We talked for about 15 minutes, had so many similar interests. Physically, he was just my type. And he was a little awkward, which was a turn on for me. I honestly didn't even care about getting laid anymore. I only wanted to get his number, maybe make out a little, and get to know him better. It's rare for me to develop a crush on someone, but me and him hit it off and there was so much chemistry.
And then I fucked it all up. I had one too many drinks. I was very drunk, and the bar was closing. I told my james, matt, and my friend that i was heading home. James and Matt started discussing (arguing?) about who would take me home. I was halfway to the door, and I guess Matt won out in the end. He grabbed my hand and started to lead me away. I got a glance at james's face. I was too drunk to realize he looked hurt at the time. That night, I fucked matt. After we finished I had sobered up a bit. I was devastated. I ruined my chances with someone I knew I had a connection with.
Yes, it was just some drunken flirting and whatnot, but I feel like shit. The thing is, james was a "nice guy" and matt was kind of a dick. So now i feel like not only did i fuck up my own chances of being with a great guy, but i perpetuated the "nice guys finish last" stereotype. i just wish i could go back and ask for james to walk me home. | openai_summarize |
4th year student just found out I need an extra two years to graduate. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm a Computer Science major/Business minor and I just met with my new advisor to sign up for next semester. I decided to ask how far off I am from graduation based entirely upon CS classes alone. She told me her best estimate would be Spring 2017, so another 5 semesters after this one. For some context, I'm currently in my fourth year of University. I transferred from a different school after receiving an associate's degree and they didn't accept all my credit hours, but they did accept most of them. I was originally a Social Sciences major but I switched majors almost immediately after I transferred. Since I transferred schools and changed my major I expected to be a little behind and have to take an extra year, but I never thought I would see an extra two just to get a bachelors degree. With the exception of a couple science classes and business classes, I'm entirely only needing computer science classes. The problem is I'm already getting really burnt out, and after finding out I'm even further away than I was before I'm not sure what to do. I am currently receiving a scholarship that will expire in three semesters, and will go away if I drop out of school. I can take summer courses and load up on classes starting next semester so I can cut out at least the last semester, but I'm worried it will be too much for me to handle. I'm feeling really lost and unsure of myself. I don't want to quit but I've been losing motivation for a while now- having only been fueled by the (false) thought that I was pretty close to finishing. | openai_summarize |
I feel that I am just a stoic who is able to maintain neutral interactions. I do not want to lose anything by making myself feel like I am not looking to make friends. This is just a problem I have with people who seem to notice I am a stoic and want to know what I want. | Summarize the following paragraph: I am a [25M] and have problems showing emotion which people seem to associate with being stoic. Although I am not sure how to feel about people coming to that conclusion it led me into reading up on Stoicism. Which I believe is good.
In relationships am able to remain neutral. Yet that is all I am neutral. All of my friends that I have meaningful relationships with are from childhood. I have not formed any meaningful relationships with new people I meet. I simple stay neutral.
Example: Go to party with friend. Girl he is interested in starts flirting with me, talking to me smiling a lot, laughing at my puns. (No one laughs at puns.) I keep the conversations short, do not give her any reason to think I am interested. (I hope.) But do not try to escalate or deescalate. I remain neutral.
Typing this out is definitely helping me realize some things. Such as I feel that fear would be my root problem in that example. I do not want to lose/anger my friend. I do not want to anger her which in turn could anger my friend. And finally I have tried to talk up my friends in situations like this before and it has always ended in complete failure. So because of that I stick to what is safe. I realize that inaction can sometimes be a greater problem then action. I know this shit, but still act like this.
No where in that do I even consider what I want or feel. What the fuck. Now I do not even want to post this, but I typed it out so fuck it. Eat me alive /r/relationships hopefully we both can learn something.
The example I gave I meant to focus on the fact that I did not take a side. This is not just a problem I have with girls or romantic relationships, but when I am talking to men also. | openai_summarize |
Met guy online. He is asking for a second date in the same week as the first. I'm not really sure if I'm ready for that., but am already feeling weirdly obligated to agree. | Summarize the following paragraph: I want to preface this post with a note that I have a history of growing up with abuse and attracting abusive men. I am working hard on recognizing healthy behaviors, not being so skittish, and establishing boundaries when needed.
Anyway, I've been sending myself on a series of blind dates.
The last guy I went on a date with this Tuesday. We had a good conversation on the website we met on. When we "met online", he was basically like, "I think you sound super interesting, and I hope to eventually meet up with you for coffee. But we can keep talking on here for longer if you want." So, I was like, cool.
Leading up to our date, he would text me every day, "Hey, how's your day? What's up? We're still on for xxx?" etc. If I didn't respond, he would text me again. This is mildly annoying to me, because we hadn't set any precedent for that really. I didn't know him. I said I'd be coming to the date. No need to check in every single day.
When we met, he was mildly awkward, but definitely intelligent and well put together. But for some reason, he admitted that he remembered nothing about me, because, "we hadn't really talked lately".
Anyway, the date ended up going fine. But this guy is still texting me every single day, and asked for a day date this weekend.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I like him enough to go on another date that soon.
Am I being jumpy/weird, or does he seem a little pushy to you guys? | openai_summarize |
After a bought of sexting how should I go about contacting my friend/crush? | Summarize the following paragraph: I just moved 1,500 miles to the east coast a month ago. Previous relationship of 7 months called it quits because he didn't want to do long distance. I saw it coming for months and honestly wasn't my end-all, be-all so I was not crushed. I've been actually having a great time being single in the big new city. Okcupid is kinda crazy, amirite?
The friend in question, John, I met 5 years ago in grad school. We had a rock'n friend group, and we hung out all the time. He had a 3 year serious relationship and I had on-off boyfriends. We both went through times when we were attracted to each other but one of us always had a relationship. So now we are both single and my feelings for him are EXPLODING like a 5th grade volcano experiment. Oh yeah, he lives 4 hours away.
Drunk me texts him, and we have some fucking awesome sexting. Like, hidden desire, naughty type stuff- like I need to post this to r/gonwildstories and let everyone enjoy. He agreed that we "should make up for lost time" and that I was missed. Also, called me "darlin" which set my poor southern soul alight.
So now I've got full-on middle school crush on John and I have not heard from him since the sexting 5 days ago. I don't know if I should reach out to him or what to say. I don't know what to do!! Sit tight? message him?
To complicate it I know that he is kind of a fickle communicator. He is all up in the social media, but sometimes just wont respond to things, but not because he doesn't care- he is just ADD about it. I've know this about him forever.
pls helps. | openai_summarize |
I feel in love with my girlfriend but I am not attracted to her. I need to find someone I can be attracted to. I feel like I am being selfish. Do I get over myself? | Summarize the following paragraph: I've been with my girlfriend for going on 3 years now. We are moving in together. I go into spells where I am completely unattracted to her. She will try to kiss me and I basically lay there like a dead fish. I want to break up with her so badly but I always find that I need her support. She has helped me a lot and I do love her for that and I try to help her when I can. I have absolutely no urge to be with her for an extended period of time. In social situations I had to get over the embarrassment of being with her. She's a little bigger and I understand that but I wish I could find someone who is attractive. I've lost the motivation to exercise because I feel like there is no point. Anytime I bring up working out she just gets offended and gets angry. She also has some of the worst luck imaginable so at any moment something will inevitably happen to her and I have to support her which is usually 4 or 5 times a week. On top of helping her I have to be the emotional support. This kind of support is very difficult for someone who im not attracted to. I hate myself for putting her in this situation. It sucks but it just feels like im using her till I get a better situation. m-21 f-23 | openai_summarize |
My SO told me after our 1st date that she loves me, but I'm not convinced that she really loves me, or at least isn't as interested that I'm the one initiating in the relationship. | Summarize the following paragraph: A couple of weeks ago I'd realized that I had fallen in love with my SO. So I told her, expecting the worst (because she had been always really shy with expressing her affection beforehand). She replied then that she thought she was in love with me, too, and when I left her place that night and restated my own shpeel, she more confidently said that she loved me, too.
However, for the most part, I felt/feel that she's maintained the same level of distance from me, or at least hasn't done a good job of showing it with her actions (other than hanging out with me pretty frequently throughout the week, she didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day, while I gifted her flowers a few times and presented her some poetry that was inspired by her). I recently talked about feeling jealous about the way she spoke to one of my close-friends, as well as elaborated of these feelings of her distance, and she told me not to worry and that I'd misconstrued her intentions, that she really just wants the approval of my friends.
I'm not worried about that jealousy at all, now. The bulk of that conversation was about what I perceived to be her disinterest in me. She got that I worried very often about her truly loving me, and advised very emphatically not to worry about that any more. But I'm not sure; I still have that nagging thought that she had said she loved me just to reassure me that time, and continues on with it now for much the same reason. She only ever says "I love you, too" (because I'm always the one to initiate with those sorts of things). | openai_summarize |
Told my parents I bought weed from my friend. They still can't believe I did. | Summarize the following paragraph: My girlfriend and I both have high amounts of depression and anxiety. We were parked in a residential area with the music too loud smoking weed. After a noise complaint, a policeman showed up and brought us back to the station. I was VERY high and had less than ~.8g of weed left. My girlfriend was let go without repercussions.
After riding in the police cruiser in front of a big, loud, scary dog, the officer brought me in to see my parents. I was VERY baked and my anxiety was in full swing. Manic screaming, crying, hyperventilating, etc. The officer went through my bag and found medical marijuana bags. I had taken these bags from my friend (Let's call him Dave) because I needed something to put my crutches, roaches and kief in and they didn't have any plastic bags. They told me that if I didn't tell them names, I could be charged with a felony for distribution to a minor. After much crying, high me somehow decided to tell them that I bought my weed from Dave. This is not true. I only had the bags because I needed them for storage. I had already given them the name of my actual dealer. They told me that they could still give me a felony, but they were going to wait until the DA had weighed in on it. They said not to tell anyone anything, or else I would get a felony for sure.
So now I don't know how to retract that statement without sounding like I'm covering up what I said about my friend. I was heavily under the influence of marijuana, there was a big scary dog, and I was having the worst anxiety attack of my life. Now I haven't slept or eaten for days because I told them I bought from my friend. Even if I dodge the felony, my best friend could go down for something he is innocent of.
I'm really, really scared and would love some advice. | openai_summarize |
I don't know how to help someone I love who's never got the help they need. | Summarize the following paragraph: This account is just becoming Secret Time...but anyways:
I was wondering if anyone's been in this sort of situation. I'm seeing someone I care deeply about (sure, the Love thing) and they're going through some rough times related to loss and just general depression (cutting, etc.). Recently, the cutting has started up again (it had only happened for a short period of time before and I found out pretty soon afterwards/at the end of it/ended it) and I don't know. It makes me upset, and is draining, and I think it's sort of evidently altering how I feel about them 'romantically' speaking, which I think in turn is just making it worse.
The kicker is they think therapy in general is stupid and won't help. | openai_summarize |
Cat got tail cut off in engine/fan taken to the vet, possible nerve damage, anyone familiar with this occurrence? | Summarize the following paragraph: So today my father and brother were going to a doctor's appointment. My dad started the car and heard a thump. My cat immediately ran away from the car and to my neighbors shed. My brother noticed it's tail was missing as he ran away. We tried to get him out from under the shed but he wouldn't budge, j went to school and got back at around noon (4.5 hours after the incident). I decided to get my dad to see if he would come to either of us. He eventually crawled on to my lap. [Graphic portion] I immediately grabbed him tight as my dad went to get the crate. I noticed blood dripping down my leg so I picked him up and noticed his tail was missing and the skin by it was too, so I basically saw the layer right under the skin that was incredibly large and bleeding. Once my dad got the crate he began scratching me really hard but I knew he needed to get to the animal hospital, the vet said he would go into surgery to repair the wound and likely get sedated. (All fine by me) he was ready to come home about 6 hours later but is forced to wear a cone and stay in the crate. The doctor warned about nerve damage and inability to control bladder so I was wondering if anyone has any help or advice in that area. | openai_summarize |
Girl (f/16-20) is starting to flirt with me and I need advice on how to act. | Summarize the following paragraph: This is my second semester at University. I'm just trying to keep my head down and focus on my studies. A beautiful girl is in two of my classes. I believe her and her friends caught me staring at her on one or more occasions; That is probably the reason they are playing this joke. I have always had difficulty conforming to the social norm regarding how long it is appropriate to look at someone or make eye contact, but the fact that I found her extremely attractive didn't help matters.
Roughly 1.5 weeks ago she started flirting with me before, during, and after class. I don't know how to describe it, as I rarely observe it, but I understood intuitively what she was doing. There was more to this than simple friendliness. Intially I tactically ignored and avoided her, but she hasn't gotten bored of me, and if anything it's gotten worse. I am having a great deal of difficulty focusing in the classes we share. I did poorly on an exam yesterday, and while I'm not blaming her for this, her presence and actions certainly didn't help.
I have no experience with this, but I am practically certain this is a joke. I would just like her and her friends to leave me alone. What tactic would best accomplish this? | openai_summarize |
Am I expecting too much from my SO? | Summarize the following paragraph: This gal I've known since highschool and I became really good friends then started dating. I care about her and think I love her. But there are just some things it seems like I want from someone that she just isn't. She is very nice and would never cheat on me or anything. But hangs out with a guy she dated who says inappropriate things and groped her once while we were dating. And I don't really say anything but im not too keen on that.
My point in bringing that up is that she doesn't really seem to show that she cares a whole lot about me. She certainly says it and will get physical. But she doesn't really show it. And I'm not asking for flowers or anything, but for example I knew she really wanted to see this one movie, so I found a way to make it happen. She also seems to kinda disregard me at times.
A while back I said I didn't feel wanted a whole lot. And kind of explained some of this to her. And she took it really hard and was kinda mad. I think had I pressed any more we would have broken up.
The thing is though, she has a lot of things I like, she is a natural leader, she is independent, we are both old fashioned and have the same values (which is very important to me as a lot of girls don't tend to care for or oppose a lot of my beliefs). She does make me happy when I am with her for the most part. And we have a lot of good memories. She also is always there for me when I am down.
I guess what I am asking is, am I expecting too much? If I was to break up with her it would still really suck, but I don't want to waste her time if she isn't able to give me what I need. But if I am I want to figure out why I am not content and get there. | openai_summarize |
friend lost Enhanced Licenses in the USA, he got a new one and it was returned to him for being a dick. TSA Agent was a bitch. | Summarize the following paragraph: Alright, coming back from Canada into the good ol' USA..my friend had two Enhanced Licenses in the system (let's you go to Canada without a passport and some parts of the Caribbean). He lost one and ended up getting a new one, only to have his original one mailed back to him. So at the border they asked him and he said he just never got the old one back. We go inside cause he has to fill some paper work out or some shit and all I hear is.."thats it! now you just ruined it for you! and all of your friends!!" the lady TSA Agent looked pissed. so we all get put into separate rooms, stripped search to our boxers, treated like criminals, the whole time i'm just laughing cause it's ridiculous (we were 21 year old kids going drinking for the night nothing harmful) and she searches my buddy's car and just comes back and was like..."alright, who was trying to cover up a zit?! there was some lady's make up in the car...and why is there 1 lady's heel in the car and a skirt?!" she looked at us if we were cross dressers..we all had a god laugh and then they just let us go after about 2 hours. oh America, I love you. | openai_summarize |
People complain about the way things were better when, in reality, things are the way they are now. Reddit, like most things in life, is a reflection of who we are, and it is often a good thing to reflect on the good and bad of our past. | Summarize the following paragraph: It is usually quite a common theme among people as they grow older but even with younger folks it can be seen in just about any interest or community. You will always find some group of people complain about how politics, music, movies, society, games.... etc we much better back when and how everything is just getting worse. Reddit certainly isnt immune, you can find yourself on just about any subreddit reading comments from folks who pine about the good old days when their sub wasnt being overrun by this or that. Digg is the common culprit in many of these comments, but it was going on for far longer than the Digg exodus. Sure as time changes there are good or bad things that may take place, but there seems to be something in human nature to reflect on the past in a positive view. | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend and I started to talk about our relationship, I thought I was really into our relationship. I told her, but it stuck with me, and we had a very awkward discussion. I'm not sure how to proceed. | Summarize the following paragraph: So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now, and things were going really well. We hadn't fought, have been open and honest with each other, and enjoy being around each other. She is an excellent person; compassionate, caring, very funny, and beautiful. We said "I love you" a few months back, so it did move a little quick in comparison to some of my past relationships.
A few weeks ago, she had a conversation with me that she thought that I wasn't as into the relationship as she was. I assured her that I cared for her, it's just we express it in different ways. She expresses how she feels in actions, and I tend to use words. Despite assuring her that I do love her, that conversation stuck with me. When I went to visit my parent's home last weekend (which is about 6 hours away), I had a lot of time to think about where I really was in the relationship, and I realized that I may not as into it. What really stood out to me was the fact that I didn't think to hang out with her (she asked me) when I was driving home even though I had free time (we only see each other about 2-3 times per week).
Although this may not seem like a lot to some people, given the previous conversation, I thought on it. When I saw her, I told her what I was feeling (or rather not feeling). Needless to say, we had a long discussion about where we thought this relationship was going, and I was honest that I didn't know if I wanted it to become more serious. We didn't break up, but since then, seeing her has been awkward and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells. I also don't want her to be involved in a relationship that is one-sided. I want her to be extremely happy, but I don't know if I'm that person. I just don't really know how to proceed from here, and what to tell her about what I'm feeling. Sorry if this seems ridiculous and whiny, but I don't know what else to do. Thanks for any advice. | openai_summarize |
I think I have ADHD that's been untreated for years. My parents don't believe I have a problem and I need them to in order to get help. | Summarize the following paragraph: I recently became aware of the symptoms and I'm almost positive that I have ADHD.
The signs started showing during my junior year of college when I found myself getting progressively worse at academics to the point where I failed or withdrew nearly all my classes in my senior year. I lost almost all motivation, am constantly and easily distracted, and am very messy and forgetful to the point where I lose my phone for days at a time. Everything I do is spontaneous and I rarely finish what I start.
Needless to say, it was quite embarrassing for me to go from a very methodical straight A student to what I am now. I am 5 months unemployed and living at home with my parents.
I realize that I need help, but I'm having trouble convincing my parents. I can't schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist unless they agree to pay because I am unemployed and in debt.
My dad yells at me at least once a week telling me that I'm lazy and unmotivated and that he's ashamed of what I've become even though I told him I think I have ADHD. My mom talked to someone else's dad who is a psychologist and he told her I don't have ADHD (he said I wouldn't have been able to complete college if I did), and that I need a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. At first she was on board with getting me help, but after that, she kinda just blew it off.
I just want to get help but anytime I talk about it, I feel like my issues are being minimized or dismissed. I keep getting told that it's normal to be messy and lose things and get distracted. I think in my parents' minds, people with ADHD bounce off the walls and throw chairs around the room. I tried to tell them that ADHD affects women differently, but I don't think they believe me.
How do I convince my parents otherwise? Are there any websites I can show them? | openai_summarize |
Been out of town for a year, found one best friend, are we good or bad for a relationship?** | Summarize the following paragraph: I've been a transplant to a new city for a little under a year now so few acquaintances in or out of work (The 2nd youngest person at my workplace is literally over double my age, not really people I can hang with after hours) and even fewer people I'd call friends; let's just say this city has been described as a nice but difficult place to form lasting friendships. Lucky me though, I had found one close friend [26/F] but, of course, I've developed deeper feelings as we hung out over the months.
If this were back home, I'd be fine with just outright asking her out for a date/if she was interested in a relationship. In this case though, we both know so few people, we run with similar, small crowds and obviously I don't want to create that awkward atmosphere that could result from it assuming it doesn't work out whereas at home I can sorta fan out more thanks to larger social circles. I also feel like she's really the only true friend I have in the area since she's the only one that consistently invites me out to stuff and we see each other near weekly. Additionally, just from my POV and where we both are in life, it would be hard to see a relationship going the distance. It's not as fun being with her anymore because of all this but I know we'll keep running into each other because of the previous reasons of similar social circles and because we're extremely similar in hobbies and interests.
So, I'm not sure where I stand/what I want, or exactly how I would frame my question for help on this. I don't think I want to ask her out and it is getting more difficult to be with her. But I know if I were to just cut off contact, I'd have to pretty much stop going to all the activities I attend now since there would be a great chance at seeing her there. | openai_summarize |
Jet crashes near bridge, people rescue dogs that launch themselves 80+ feet out of water, I find a fucked up dog with an old man's face, cram the dog in the trunk with a bunch of luggage, and then go shopping in Seattle with my friends. | Summarize the following paragraph: A few weeks ago, I had a dream I was driving with some friends westbound across the I-90 bridge into Seattle. At the time, the bridge was about 80-100 feet above the water and only the middle express lane existed. As we first pull onto the bridge, we noticed a huge green military tanker jet clip a wing into Lake Washington near the other side. After it crashed, everyone flipped out and stopped their cars to try and help survivors.
As people on the west side of the bridge were trying to help passengers get out of the water, we were trying to rescue a bunch of dogs on our side. The only problem was that we didn't know how to help the dogs get out of the water since we were so far above them. I looked farther down the bridge to see what others were doing, and sure enough these dogs would just fucking launch themselves out of the water and try to land in the arms of people 80+ feet above.
I look down again and sure enough there is a smaller white dog that starts shooting up toward me. I catch it, and I swear it had the most fucked up face I have ever seen. It had beady black eyes, thick wool, and a wrinkly flat face that resembled an old man. It also had a bunch of sharp and sticky plants stuck all throughout its fur which made it really difficult to hold.
The thing is shaking and cold, so naturally I feel bad for it and all of us decide we should keep it. I open the hatch to my SUV, shove it against a bunch of luggage, and close the door just in time for nothing to fall out. Then we just went wandered around Seattle all day while this thing can hardly move in the trunk of my car. | openai_summarize |
broke up with ex; facebook and other social media use makes it worse; want to know how people with serious anxiety cope with it. | Summarize the following paragraph: Let me start with some background - I'm graduating college this year, and, as part of my senior thesis, I'm examining anxiety caused by facebook and other social media. Would reddit be so kind as to contribute their own stories?
My own personal contribution - I went through a breakup about six months ago. Rather than completely separate myself from my ex, we stayed friends on facebook, I continued to follow her on twitter, etc. After a while, I found that the wound was not healing and I was unable to get her off my mind and move on. It was then that I realized that seeing her name on my news feed and constantly popping up in my phone definitely wasn't helping and, in fact, making the situation five thousand times worse. It even got to the point where I was checking her online presence constantly for some relief, but it just gave me even more anxiety. I've since severed all ties with her online and I'm making more progress than ever. | openai_summarize |
GF doesn't seem to want to hang out anymore, it's not working. I'm frustrated and don't know how to fix it. | Summarize the following paragraph: I've been dating my GF for about 2 months now. Before we were in a relationship it was a great time all around, we had lots of fun and went out together at least twice a week. She's a very busy person with schooling, volunteers, work and friends but we were getting along great. I have been in the dating pool for a few months now and have dated lots of people, none have ever clicked as well as this girl and I did. On our 8th date I asked her if she'd like to be exclusive, she said she did, we both seemed to really like eachother and that made me pretty stoked. Well, since then we've seen each other twice for like a grand total of four hours. She's busy and I knew that going into it, but on top of her being busy, she doesn't seem to want to try and organize anything in general.
Since we've started dating I've asked her if she wanted to hang out 5 times in 2 weeks, she's said she is busy 4 of those times and has only agreed once. She will apologize for not being able to hang out but won't try to reschedule. It makes me feel fairly rejected and I'm not happy with it at all. I've stopped asking her to hang out in hopes that she'll be the one to initiate it and nothing has happened yet. Earlier today I was particularly wanting to be flirty and try to engage something so I texted her, "You still owe me that kiss" (she does) and she replied "I'm sorry". I haven't even responded to it because it feels like it's just on a loop.
I can't ask her to change her life and I don't want to make her feel bad about it. How do I go about fixing this? Do I talk to her and say that I need her to be more clear about when she can spend time with me? Isn't that demanding? I'm honestly pretty terrible at relationships and I really don't want to act like an asshole. | openai_summarize |
Girl keeps initiating, has initiated 3 times. Why would you go cold after 5 dates? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey!
So I've seen this girl 5 times. The first 4 went amazing, after 5th date she went cold so I am scratching my head as to what's going on. She hasn't gone completely cold, would text me but not respond after I text her back. But here's what's important, she has initiated. Just not responded after I respond. She has initiated 3 times after the 5th date.
Anyways, as a guy, I know what I'm thinking. She's not that interested in me, she's keeping me around, messing with my feelings, etc...so I don't really pursue her now.
But as a girl, what are you thinking? Could it actually be possible that you are not sure if I'm that into you and are waiting for me to come on strong. Waiting for me to initiate again? I have come on pretty strong until up till the 5th date in which vibe changed.
I don't know exactly what happened on the 5th date to make her cold. Part of me thinks that I may have come on too strong and scared her away. But then I can see many reasons as to why she didn't think I came on strong enough.
It's unfortunate I don't know her well enough to know if she's one of those that wants a relationship or one of those that kinda just plays/fools around with random guys every few months.
But for now, I'm going to make the assumption that she's a relationship only, non player, type girl. So, as a relationship only, non player, type girl, what are you thinking right now? Why would you go cold after 5 dates but still initiate? | openai_summarize |
we have sex, we have a broken condom. we are worried about ovulation. | Summarize the following paragraph: We just had sex about 45min ago, and the condom broke. (she was riding me). we washed her out a little bit, and now we are trying to figure out what we can do. the last start of her period was oct. 29th, so theres little chance that she is ovulating. she should be getting her period sometime soon. we are 17 and no drivers licenses. no store we can walk to. tomorrow, we are going out for some lunch with her father, and we are planning on me telling him i need to pick something up at the grocery store, then we will get plan B there. if that doesnt work, her friend may be able to get it by sunday or if thats too late, the week after pills.
Her mum is a super conservative christian hyped up on pills so she wont be any help and would most likely not help if we told her.
we are asking for some feed back as to what to do and some info on the subject | openai_summarize |
I have a chance to leave algebra 2. I know that I can get at least a 90 in pre calculus, but it would involve memorization instead knowing the WHY and I would have a shorter time to prepare for calculus. I am a mechanical engineering major and the dropout rate is 60%. In the meantime, I will be taking an intro to computer science in the spring in order to maintain some semblance of hard classes. On the other hand, I would graduate quicker, but definitely receive lower grades. Should I stay or should I go? | Summarize the following paragraph: So, I was absent for a month in junior year for crisis reasons. When I came back, I took the algebra 2 regents and predictably failed. I took summer classes and came out with a 76 in the augest regents. I then went onto pre-calculus and came out of that with an 82. Upon seeing this, my university placed me into an algebra 2 class.
I am a mechanical engineering major...
This, predictably, places me into quite a pickle. When the dust and confusion settled, I realized that by having my math class at this level, I wouldn't be able to take calculus until the beginning of my sophomore year. I can honestly say that I am better at math than I was then, but I am not great at it.
I have now recieved the chance of skipping the class recently when I was able to answer some questions right on a 9 problem quiz to determine whether or not I should be in Algebra 2 or not.
The thing is, is that I like the class. It tells me the WHY in math, and doesnt just show me a formula! I was always of the mind of remembering is better than knowing why. With this mindset, could I possibly fail calculus 2 or differential equations? Shouldn't I stay in order to garner a better understanding in math? At my school, there is a 60% dropout rate for engineering. Wouldn't this chance to have a whole year to review and even have enough time to study calculus be beneficial for me in the long run? | openai_summarize |
Is there a way to get friends/relationship with a female coworker? | Summarize the following paragraph: I have been very close friends with my female co-worker for a year. We sit right next to each other and have gotten very close. We go for walks together on all our breaks and have hung out outside of work as well.
When we first met, I felt there was an attraction between us, but I could be wrong. She does have a flirty personality. But I also didn't make a move and remained rather reserved towards her flirtatious behavior.
Over time, as we got to know each other more, we've had our share of disagreements and disputes. Without going into too many details, it came to a head one day and she asked me if our conversations about dating were strictly platonic. It was then that I asked her if she could see us dating, and she said no. Things went back to normal pretty quickly. I've gone on a few dates since then.
I know, don't shit where you eat, office romances are messy, don't put all your eggs in one basket, etc. I will preface by saying that I don't have problems meeting girls or getting dates. I know conventional wisdom is to find someone outside of work.
But help me out Reddit. Is there anything I can do to rebuild romantic chemistry between us? I don't mean in a manipulative, "PUA" kind of way, but I like this girl a lot, and I'd be happy even just going on one date. | openai_summarize |
Bought home $130k, put in $35k, still owe $160k, appraised at $230k, could sell at $260k. | Summarize the following paragraph: What's up guys?
Been debating on whether or not I should put my home up for sale, here's the story.
May of 2013, Denver Colorado, we bought a HUD home (1,100 sqft, 3 beds, 1 bath) at 130k. Took out an FHA loan and put an additional 35k into it. Replaced entire plumbing and electrical. Refinished hardwood floors and completely renovated bath and kitchen. I saved a shit ton of money on contractor costs as I did all the finishing. Paint, trim, etc.. myself.
Late 2014, we thought we'd have enough equity in the home to get out of mortgage insurance. Sure enough, the appraisal came back and we were sitting on a $230k house. I was like sweet!!!
Anyway, the way the market is going right now I am confident i could put this guy up on the market and push 260-280 for it. Obviously the bank won't finance it if an appraisal comes in below that, but people are paying straight cash for homes in Denver right now.
So what do I do?
1.) Sell the home, take out the cash, use it as a down payment for another home? (Concerned I won't be able to find one at such a good value).
2.) Sell the home, save the cash, rent an apartment and wait for the market to cool down and buy another home?
3.) Don't sell the home, make more money, buy another home, and rent this one?
On a side note. Finances. Wife is sitting on a 10k auto loan, I've got about 40k in Federal Student Loans with about 6k left on auto loan. | openai_summarize |
Got fired for no reason, and didn't get paid for hours worked, don't know what to do since I'm unable to tell my parents. | Summarize the following paragraph: Alright so here's the story. So right now I'm a university student that has never had a job before. I planned to move out in August into an apartment with some friends. However, in order for my parents to agree to cosign, I had to find work. Finally after a few months of searching, I finally did. The position was a delivery driver for a food chain.
So I go in the first day and everything goes how I expect it to. Training, tour, uniform, etc. I come back two days later for another day of work, expecting it to be normal which it was. After my shift ended I had to let my boss know that I couldn't work for the next few days since I was getting my wisdom teeth out last Tuesday. He was super understanding, and let me go for the night.
So a few days after I get my wisdom teeth out I ask about working again. No response. I thought "Okay he must just be busy." So I texted him again the next day (texting was how we had been communicating when we weren't at work), asking again about my schedule. This was the reply I got.
"So I talked with (insert other manager's name here) about your schedule. Due to several factors he has decided that continuing your employment with (insert food chain name here) is not in the best interest for you or for the company."
I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to respond to this. I've never had a job before but aren't I supposed to get paid for the few hours I DID work?
I considered telling my parents about this, but knowing them they would freak out that I didn't have work, and do something completely irrational like cut off the internet or something. | openai_summarize |
New puppy poops, I try to take off jacket and pants to take him outside and he poops and peees next to the chair in my fleece pants and wool jacket. | Summarize the following paragraph: So we adopted a new puppy on Friday and I've been working with him on potty training. He's getting alright at it but sometimes he doesn't want to go, so he just sits there whimpering and shivering. So we run back to the house because it's so cold outside and within 2-3 minutes of being inside he poops! I keep staying out there longer but it doesn't seem to help much.
I just brought him out about an hour ago and he managed to poop and pee a little but I thought he was done. He came and sat next to me and was shivering so I figured he was done. Walking in the door I take off his leash, start taking off my jacket, and I see him squat to pee next to the chair. It's currently 14f out and it's freaking cold. In my fleece pants and wool jacket I'm cold, so I figure he must be even more cold. He was doing well this afternoon when it was in the higher 30's! | openai_summarize |
taking a shit without being able to flex your lower body is hard and messy. | Summarize the following paragraph: Just out of curiosity, try finding the strongest balance between negligence and difficulty to that whatever odd obstacle through the course of your day.
Your pet-peeve/problem doesn't have to be as gruesome and shameful, but *what was your most negligibly, difficult task?*
Mine was when I was at work, and for some reason, the architects for the building had an unusual problem with the slant in this section's floor. One day, in a sudden rush to take an explosive dump, (as the other available stall was occupied) I ran into this toilet, and attempted to unleash anus hell; however, there was a small problem: my feet *could not* touch the ground. The toilet's height was horribly long. Through the next few minutes of constipation as I took upon this monster in his own turf, I realized how important the role of lower body muscles is when exerting the shit out of one's body, because at this awkward position, I couldn't even flex my bottom, thighs, etc. The aftermath was the exact opposite of the ideal "no-wipe". Shamefully, I admitted defeat and I got on top of the toilet, squatting on the cover of the toilet, and shat the rest out with the aid of my gluteus maximus.
On a brighter note, this was at work, so I still got paid through all of this. | openai_summarize |
BF proposed really weirdly. Not sure if I should be upset or super-excited. | Summarize the following paragraph: I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months, and one month ago he moved in. We are compatible in many ways, so it's been great combining our lives even more. Obviously it's still a fairly new relationship, so we are still learning how to deal with differing expectations.
A few days ago was my birthday, and we spent the evening with my siblings and some friends eating tacos then at a dive bar - overall a super casual, non-romantic night. I was a little down because I had thought he might have had some surprise up his sleeve and propose that night - he'd been dropping hints, and it would have been really nice to be surprised and to be around my family, who I'm really close with.
We got home from the bar at 2:30, really exhausted and a little tipsy, and got ready for bed. I had taken my contacts out and was wearing just underwear, turning out the light to our room, when he got down on one knee and said he loved me. I was more like WTF/sleepy than registering any other emotion. The timing was so bizarre and ordinary that I just felt confused and honestly, upset that he hadn't cared enough to make it a special moment. I accepted and said I loved him but then started crying a few minutes later, feeling disappointed and conflicted. I'm not some high-maintenance girl who demands the perfect moment, expensive ring, etc, but I just thought it would be at a time/place that was significant to us.
Now he feels hurt and rejected because I didn't get excited. Am I being demanding and shallow? Is this reasonable? I want to marry him, but this is so weird. I have never heard of anyone getting engaged at 2:30am. | openai_summarize |
My boyfriend's friend is forcing my boyfriend to pay for a road trip of 6 hours back to his hometown. | Summarize the following paragraph: My boyfriend and I live together and we have financial problems. We're barely paying our rent and affording food and whatnot at the same time. Before I met him, I use to spend money irresponsibly. While I've improved a lot, mostly because I have no other choice, he still gets on me for wanting to go out to dinner and buying the 'expensive' things at the grocery store.
Anyway, for the past 3 weeks, my boyfriend and I have been trying to salvage every penny we have so we can afford a road trip to my hometown 9 hours away. It was my younger sister's high school graduation so it was imperative I go. His best friend he hasn't seen in years also lives there so we decided to go together, instead of me taking the bus.
So we arrived last night and now he's informed me that last night, his friend coaxed him into helping someone move from a different state. All in all, the whole trip took 6 hours of my boyfriend's time and $50 in gas/tolls. Note: all the money on the EZ pass was my money and was put on there for US to go on our trip back
His friend previously assured him he'd pay my boyfriend back. He hasn't made a mention of it since then and my boyfriend won't ask him because he doesn't want to make things awkward and that he's already staying at his friend's house and eating his food. I told him to give him $15 (it's only for two days and my boyfriend doesn't eat much) and get the rest of our $35. Boyfriend refuses and tells me he'll replenish the EZ pass himself (except he has barely any money)
Yes, I know I sound like a cheapskate but I work two shitty retail jobs and it takes me all day to make $50. My bf and I are poor. Our apartment is too expensive for us and we're paying dearly for it. He insists he'll just cover all the charges but it just isn't right (to me). | openai_summarize |
1.) Should I stay in college when my career path is based mainly on certifications? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi all,
I'm a college freshman with a pretty set career path (police officer/paramedic), but lately I've kind of hit a weak point in actually getting work done. To me, college seems somewhat pointless, especially since I don't like my school. This thinking has greatly affected how I think of working and my teachers and I feel like it is affecting how I lead my daily life (not going to classes and generally being mopey).
I've known this girl for around 7 months and have been thinking about her nonstop since the first day I met her. I feel like we get along great, like we understand each other. We share the same tastes in music, t.v. etc... I met her through a friend of mine and he recognized from day 1 that we would be great together. Basically: I want to be in a deeper relationship with this girl, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. | openai_summarize |
I have recently been considering breaking up with my gf but don't know why | Summarize the following paragraph: We dated throughout our senior year in college. Since graduating, we've been in a LDR for about 8 months. I get to see her every 2-3 weeks.
I'm not sure what's going on. I love her, and love spending time with her, but lately I'll randomly think about breaking up with her. I'm still attracted to her. But sometimes I think it would just be easier to break up with her. I don't know why though.
Maybe the long distance thing is just getting to me. We're both planning on getting new jobs soon and leaving our states and moving in together. But I still have some doubts for how realistic it is. I guess part of me is thinking I'm missing out by not hooking up with multiple girls while I'm young. | openai_summarize |
friends an unreliable hypocrite, but what's the best approach or next steps? | Summarize the following paragraph: So, as the title states my best friend is confusing me. She'll make plans only to go ghost the day of. This wouldn't bother me once if it was once in a while but it's pretty regularly.
She'll post things on Facebook about hating make up and detoxifying during the week then out in the clubs on the weekends, nothing wrong with kicking back a few. Sorta hypocritical but I've looked past it.
We'll I was stood up again this weekend then saw pics she was out that night. I get she's a single mom and needs to blow off steam and she deserves breaks but seriously I'm kinda over reading the opposing views and holding my tongue.
We've been good friends for so a while now and through so much and our kids are friends... I just am starting not to see eye to eye with her and all her posts. Maybe I'll just get rid if her on Facebook?
I think since I wrote it out I know what my next steps may be, but insight is always appreciated.
Sorry for errors as I'm on mobile | openai_summarize |
dude asked me the most stereotypical kidnapper question ever and i ran | Summarize the following paragraph: I was playing in the large side yard at my babysitter's house, she had a long driveway that went along the side of it. A man in a yellow van pulled up the driveway and stopped to ask me something. I got close to the van and he started talking about how he had candy inside. I knew this was my cue to gtfo. I ran inside and was afraid to tell my babysitter because I didn't want her to go out there and possibly get hurt. She tried to make me go back outside and finally I told her, but he was gone by the time the police came. At the time I was scared but didn't quite understand exactly how bad the situation could have been. There had been other attempted abductions at a park nearby, no one was actually taken that I know of. This guy was not really very good at not being creepy as fuck. If he would have said he had puppies inside, I cant promise that I wouldn't have fallen for it. : / | openai_summarize |
British friends and I are on a long trip through Finland, looking for advice on how far north we can go and what should be on our itinerary. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello all, a couple of friends and I from the UK are trying to decide on how we'll plan our route though visiting Finland this summer. The main part of the trip is the WRC in Jyväskylä but after that we have about two to three weeks to check out the rest of the country.
So far we're thinking of flying from the UK into Helsinki, staying around there a couple days before going up to the rally. After that we'd like to head northward towards the Lapland region.
We'd like to explore the different cultures as we work our way up and possibly get a chance to do some scenic hiking. A few of us are into folk and metal music, somehow over the years I've gotten to know more Finnish bands than English ones.. checking out some live music would definitely be on our list. Local food stops and markets would be good too =D
We're all students so don't have a huge amount to spend on travel and accommodation, looking at Hostels mainly. Would bus/coach services be a good way to get around?
We're up for some pretty ridiculous adventuring so wondering how far north we can go? Is there much to see if we were to cross up into Norway? Our main concerns are airport connections. So far from my research, Ivalo airport seems a safe bet with flights back to the UK available for £150 - £200.
Any ideas would be appreciated, we're still in the early stages of planning so nothing is set in stone yet, hope to book rally and flights within a couple weeks though. | openai_summarize |
overheard my boss and our executive director talking about me and have no idea what to do/do. | Summarize the following paragraph: Feeling very anxious and upset right now and thought I'd ask for advice. Basically, I overheard a conversation between my direct supervisor and our executive director criticizing me personally. They thought I had left the office I think so were gossiping about me. Specifically, my ED was complaining I had not been smiling lately, that i seemed so damn unhappy, would it kill me to smile, etc. My supervisor joked that she wants to shake me sometimes because I guess its annoying Im not more upbeat.
They both know I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am seeking medical help. Previously, I had overheard them joking and making light of my mental health issues over the phone - our walls are pretty thin at work, so I think they assumed I couldn't hear. When I told them that I overheard them in the past and that it made me feel uncomfortable, they more or less said I overreacted.
I just feel really upset as before I thought it was a one time thing but now it seems that its been going on for a while and is a regular occurrence. I have no idea how to handle it. We are a small staffed place and have no HR department. Should I just keep this to myself and try to forget it is happening? I think it would only cause them to talk more if I confront them again. I've never had any complaints about my work so not sure why they hate me so much but just worried about my future there since they seem to dislike me. | openai_summarize |
hot woman pretends to say no to her fiance. | Summarize the following paragraph: My friends and live in a small town and apparently the man who proposed knows the owner of the theatre we went to last night. The man who proposed got the guy who owns the theatre to show a mini power point of the good times he and his fiance of 4 years spent together. The whole time the woman was red faced and tearing up, and at the end of the powerpoint, there was a slide that said "will you marry me". To the astonishment of the whole theatre, she said muttered no under her breath and ran out of theatre. It was the most embarrassing thing i had ever witnessed in my small town (that's not saying much). | openai_summarize |
my ex is depressed and i need friends in atlanta | Summarize the following paragraph: So here's the story, I'll try to keep it short, but for the ADD crowd i'll throw in a synopsis at the end.
My high school sweetheart and I ran into each other about 8 months back after her family moved away in our sophomore year in high school (10 years ago). anyway, after a couple of months we moved in together, meaning i moved about 15 minutes away and she moved from Louisville, KY. Things were fine for a couple of months, but during the last month she's begun to act pretty depressed. When I ask her what's wrong she just talks about missing Louisville and her friends there. I've tried to get her to make friends down here, but while she gets along with all of my friends, none of them are really the kind of people she would hang out with. So i'm trying to at the very least help her find some cool places to hang in atlanta with like minded people. Hopefully you guys can help me out, cause it's killin me to see her this unhappy... anyway, let's move on to some of her interests..
damn good artist
like kind of obscurish indie music
animated films, especially miyazaki
halo (although she's a mediocre player... don't tell her i said that!)
sushi
snakes (she breeds ball pythons)
so if anyone can suggest some place in atlanta where people like that hang, I'd appreciate it. Being a poor full time student working a full time job has left me little time in the last 4 years to check out atlanta, just in case you're wondering at my lack of knowledge on the subject. Thanks! and... go! | openai_summarize |
I'm graduating with my degree in French/minor in Marketing from an 'eh' state university. I'm an aspiring web entrepreneur and community-oriented educator. How do I stay motivated and stay intellectually curious? And how can I set myself apart from the rest of my peers in my major field? | Summarize the following paragraph: First post. Been lurking for two months. I love reddit's insight on these types of situations and I'm sure I'm not alone in this situation.
Anyway, I'm 22 and graduating with a degree in French/minor in Marketing from an 'eh' state university. I've ran the educational gamut: from Film to Electrical Engineering to Finance to where I am now. I didn't discover how awesome computer science was until I started interning at an online marketing firm and now I know it really interests me. I love the idea of just getting sucked into coding the way I get sucked into my short story writing sometimes. It's like art to me. I have so many ideas for websites and web apps I want to build.
I know there are a ton of sources for online learning such as Udacity.com, but I can't help but feel that my efforts will fall short of kids who are receiving their formal educations in computer science from elite universities, or when it comes to writing, all the English majors from all those incredible liberal art schools on the east coast. Better yet, those kids who just ran with their curiosity as teenagers and started companies from their dorm rooms.
I have the drive and the curiosity, but I guess I'm looking for assurance, you know? Every time I see x web entrepreneur is a MIT dropout, or y writer went to Harvard University, or z making-a-difference-lawyer-activist got his JD from Columbia Law, it discourages me a little. It's like, "geez, I wish I had it figured out when I was 18 like these guys did" | openai_summarize |
My [15F] older sister doesn't want my brother [15M] having a GF, and is constantly stressing out about him and to worry about her. | Summarize the following paragraph: My brother and I are twins, and we have an older sister. I've had a few boyfriends before and she didn't care at all, if anything she was proud of me and thought it was cute that I'm growing up or whatever. But my brother is dating his first girlfriend now and she cares so much about it. When she first met her she posted something on twitter like meeting her little brothers gf and wanting to scare her. But she was always nice to my boyfriends, I'm not saying I'd like her to be mean obviously but it just seems like she doesn't care about me as much. Like she is always asking if things are okay and worrying about him, talking about like red flags to know if she is bad or something, and it makes me feel like she doesn't love me or she just cares more about him than about me and it makes me kind of jealous.
Is this normal? I think we're equally close with her and she doesn't mistreat me or anything but I don't feel like she is as protective of me as she is of him even though him and I are the same age and we're both her younger siblings. Should I tell her about this or just let it go? | openai_summarize |
Boyfriend doesn't plan ahead, now we will be late for dinner tonight because he went to sleep at 08:00.* | Summarize the following paragraph: I love him and all that, but here's the deal:
1: We live almost an hour apart (I live downtown, he lives in the suburbs)
2: I've been at his place for a couple of days, thus having a lot of my stuff here.
3: He invites me to a New Year's Eve party/dinner with some of his friends downtown. I agree.
5: Before we go there tonight, we'll have to go by my place so that I can put my stuff in my apartment. He knows this. Also, I'd like to get ready at home and not before riding the bus for an hour. He knows this.
6: Party starts at 20:00. We need to be at my place at least by 18:00. We need to leave his place 16:30 (to catch the right bus). He usually sleeps a long time, at least 10 hours - and he went to bed at 08:00 after a night of gaming DESPITE the fact that he said he was tired at 02:00. And now I gotta wake him up at 15:30ish, and he'll be mad and grumpy and childish and impossible, like all men are when they don't want to get up.
- - -
**Am I wrong for being frustrated about this?**
PS: He does occasionally have trouble sleeping, but he tells me whenever that's the case and he usually at least tries to sleep for a couple of hours. He did not do that now. | openai_summarize |
I broke up with a girl right before college graduation because of long distance, and now I'm having second thoughts. | Summarize the following paragraph: A few months before undergrad ended (I graduated two weeks ago), I (22/M) started dating an acquaintance (22/F) whom I had known for years but had never interacted with. The relationship "just happened" to some extent, and we did tons of activities together, and had a pretty awesome time.
Now I don't claim to be an expert on relationships, but I've dated a few people [seriously] in the past, and have a fair sense of what kind of woman I am looking for what what kind of woman I am compatible with, and I feel like the relationship had tons of potential in that regards.
So here's the problem: upon graduation, in a few months, we will both be working in different areas (WA and CA), and this has been long established. I'm usually a very logical person, and can make decisions rationally without emotions getting in the way. I decided shortly before graduation that a long distance relationship, especially for an indefinite period of time and with only a few months of foundation, would have a low probability of succeeding. I broke off the relationship, knowing I made the most rational decision.
Now looking back, I'm having second thoughts about my choice. I'm mostly afraid of missing out on an opportunity that I may regret in the future. Although I understand that we would still be in the honeymoon stage and there's a limit to how much you can learn about someone after only a few months, I can't help but feel like there was a lot of potential in the relationship that was something I haven't experienced before and something worth exploring; at that point long distance was the only problem.
What do you guys think is the right call? Do I just need to move on, or should I be revisiting this? | openai_summarize |
Rental property with a lot of costs, any advice? | Summarize the following paragraph: Our annual household income has averaged about $240,000 per year (varies slightly based on bonuses) the last 3 years. We need to consider any tax efficiency we can, and we are already maxing out retirement accounts.
We have saved enough cash to buy a new home. It is a spec home and building will be completed early January 2017 and the purchase price is $458,000. Our current home is worth $210,000 and we owe $160,000. The mortgage is 15 year and we pay $1500 per month. (We still have $2,000 per month left over after all bills to save). Rather than sell, I am considering renting it. A long term renter would probably pay $1700/month to live in it. I think I could revenue about $3000/month via an airbnb rental (keeping in mind there are more costs like utilities, basic cable, cleaning, furnishing). I haven't decided yet since I have to consult with a CPA on tax implications and such, but in general does this seem to be a decent idea? I have set a "make me move" price on zillow in case anyone wants to make us an offer on the house sometime in the next 6 months.
Here are some other costs of the property:
$2,400 per year property taxes
$900 per year homeowner's insurance
4% interest rate on the $160,000 balance.
Purchase price was $190,000 5 years ago so depreciation would be $7600/year based on the 25 year schedule.
Lawn mowning: $700/year
electric, gas, water: $3,000/year (this would be a write off if airbnb property I am assuming).
Advantages of selling the property would be getting about $40,000 to put into the new house or pay off a vehicle that has $800 per month payments. We could pay this vehicle off anyway once the March 2017 bonus arrives but cash sooner is always better than cash later I guess and I do want to kill the high car payment.
Anything other info I need to provide? | openai_summarize |
Guy I've been talking to for months has replaced a $70.00 item I accidentally left behind over a year ago. | Summarize the following paragraph: Original post -
I've chatted with him a few times since in the course of work.
He picked up a pricey item of mine that I inadvertently left behind while working as a group out of state over a year ago. He lost the item.
I was speaking to him last week and he tells me he's purchased a replacement for me (it's approx $70.00).
Strikes me as a bit odd he would replace it over a year later?
I avoided interactions with him until recently so maybe talking to me has caused this?
I was making up silly comments ala superman and said "wears underpants on her head!" And he retorts "I've never done that"
So I was cheeky and said "worn my underpants on your head? That would be weird"
He responded back "lol, no. But I thought about it"
I waffle back and forth between thinking he still likes me and he doesn't and I'm misreading his actions?
So confused! | openai_summarize |
My Mum and I don't talk. It was her birthday a few days ago but I forgot it. I want to apologise, but also save face and make her realise that email or even facebook is a better way to reach me. She's a luddite. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hiya chaps and chapettes. My Mum and I haven't gotten along for years. I moved interstate in part to get away from her. I got a job in another city answering phones, and because of that I developed a method of phone communication at odds with my mother; to whit, she enjoys rambling, drunken conversations that go on for hours, and I like phone conversations that have an exit strategy. I always know what I want from a call I make, and guide the conversation to that point.
Now, I have only just realised that I missed Mum's birthday, which was two days ago. I meant to send her a card, but I forgot. I'm in the wrong here, and I know it. I am going to call her tomorrow and apologise for missing her birthday.
BUT; and here is why I need you. We haven't spoken for almost a year, our most recent communication was via email where she again pulled out the passive aggressive "you're breaking my heart" sentiment. I called her on her obvious manipulation, and haven't heard back since. I do want to make this right, but I also want to make her understand that I hate the phone. So, can you help me find the words to apologise, and can you help me explain to her why I hate the phone? | openai_summarize |
Found a text when I checked the clock on her phone from a guy she used to hook up with that said "hope you like the snapchat I sent you ;) ;)). Clicked on it out of curiousity. Saw the conversation where he brought up his penis, she told him she had a boyfriend and could only be friends, but still flirted and complimented his penis in the text leading up to his text. | Summarize the following paragraph: So today in the morning I clicked on my gf's phone to check the time and saw a text from someone she used to hook up with. Usually wouldn't care, but text said something along the lines of "hope you liked my snapchat ;) ;)" I was curious, and even though I shouldn't have looked at their conversation. Leading up to his text he brought up his penis and although she said hey now calm down I have a bf, she still flirted and complimented his penis. Then said we just have to be freinds if anything. I didn't see the snapchat, but she had yet to respond to his snapchat text although she did open the snap I guess yesterday. If it was something sexual like I suspect, she should have definitely texted him when she opened it that that was not OK and that they could no longer be friends if that was what he wanted. She didn't do that, just left it blank. That is what worries me, because I know my gf is fairly attractive and is going to get hit on, but I need to know that she'll set boundaries and let ppl know whats not ok. I'm planning to bring it up to her tonight, by just asking her to see her phone and asking her why she felt the need to have this conversation (especially the flirting and the complimenting) b/c she should not have led him on at all, she should've stopped it when it became sexual. I'm planning to prefacing by letting her know that I'm not proud that I checked her phone, but was also really thrown off by the text, and would understand if this is the end of the relationship. I don't know if that is to dramatic, what do y'all think? Am I in the right for bringing it up or should i let it go?
Thanks fellow redditors.
Throwaaway account | openai_summarize |
lost tons of weight, got kinda pretty, old friend who let herself go messaged my bf old pics from when I was fat and had bad acne, we share a friend group | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm 5'7 and used to be 219 lbs. That was 5 years ago. Today I'm 130 lbs. A little while ago, I met an old friend from high school, in high school I was basically the fat unattractive girl most people ignored, I had a few friends though and she was one. Looking back I realize our 'friendship' was her keeping me around to make herself look better.
She was quite good looking, but constant chain smoking and getting drunk every other weekend for almost 5 years have left her looking about 15 years older. I'm no model, but after having lost the weight that I did as well as getting my braces taken out, acne cleared up and started dressing well I do look so much better than I used to.
Last year I met a guy and we started dating, it's been great. He met my parents and he and my older brother really bonded over video games. I met my old friend however some time ago and the difference between us was well, really in your face. She also met my boyfriend who was with me at the time. She and I agreed to hang out though, it was alright but that night she made some comments about me moving up in the world and the old me would never have gotten a guy like my boyfriend.
Then the other night she messaged my boyfriend some pictures of me on facebook saying haha look how throwawaylostsomelbs used to look, careful her inner fatty decides to make a come back.
How to handle this? Especially since my friend is now sort of integrated into my own friend group (she knew someone else who is in the group) | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend broke up with me, i feel like shit, sent some gifts to her, no reply, getting nowhere. | Summarize the following paragraph: My girlfriend (18f) broke up with me (19m) unexpectedly at the start of this week, we have been together for roughly two years. We live in different states (i moved to a different state last month) but we are dealing with it (she visits me, i visit her, we text, call, skype every day). It was weird, we were talking fine in the morning, then in the afternoon, she dropped the "i wish you best of luck in the future" story.
Okay, ill be honest, i have been a bit harsh on her. Recently some family issues have popped up and h've been visiting family in hospital and travelling a lot so I havent had much time to talk to her. She says she felt under-appreciated. I gave her that and apologized.
I've been a bit sad recently, haven't been out much, haven't made any friends in my new state so far. So i have been texting her lots, trying to comfort her, it's probably a bad idea but i do miss her. I also sent her a little gift via post yesterday (would have reached her today) but i have heard nothing back yet. | openai_summarize |
A UN Army of the United Nations would be a world-wide alliance of countries that would help to prevent war and would protect each other. At best, it only would save a few people's lives but if it succeeds it would save hundreds of thousands. | Summarize the following paragraph: I am aware that this has been proposed before. I personally believe that it would work out quite well. The official language could be English which is already spoken by much of the world and is more or less a de facto world language so I don't think a language barrier would be a problem for unit cohesion.
Because this force would be under the command of the UN itself, international "policing" efforts would be much faster than the current system which relies on the tepid will of contributing nations. Currently, the politicians in democracies are very slow and often paralyzed by fear of losing elections if wars become unpopular and costly as the burden is on the back of one or few nations (think conflict in Rwanda). So many times our leaders do nothing and let humans world wide suffer incomprehensible violence. The current conflict in Syria is what gave me this idea. If the UN had an army, it is possible that intervention could have occurred early and extremism birthed by anger may not have taken root. Maybe tens of thousands of lives would be saved with such cooperation. Sure, that is very much speculation and hindsight bias but it is not beyond the realm of possibility that focussed and early policing could have brought about a peaceful end to the conflict before it took flight.
An Army of the United Nations would be a world-wide alliance aimed at peace and an acknowledgement that we are one race living on one planet and should stand side-by-side as brothers and sisters. Early intervention could save so many lives. The United States and NATO make poor police because they cannot do enough on their own, they represent to many people around the world the forces of post colonialism, and the political will at home for such operations is low.
If you disagree then tell us why. If you agree, feel free to explain your own reasoning. I hope this becomes a rich discussion. Thank you for reading my text wall. If not... | openai_summarize |
Sometimes while being pet, cat poops a little nugget. What is this, and how do I stop it? | Summarize the following paragraph: ... she poops on me!
Not much, about the size of a nickel. But this isn't the first time. She did the same thing in the bed a few mornings ago.
Both times this has happened, she was being particularly affectionate, and was kneading. She does this thing while kneading in our laps where she tries to put her butt flush against us. Every now and then, while petting her, you catch a distinct whiff of cat poop. At first, I thought it was a fart, but I think it may be her butthole relaxing to the point where you can smell the turd on deck. She has pooped in the actual litter box, but only every other day. We've only had her a week, and this is the 2nd nugget she's dropped while being pet. Again, it's not much, so I don't think it's middeling behavior, or whatever, but I'm no expert.
Now here's my theory...
After googling every possible combination of "cat + pooped + on me + while kneading + being pet", I could think of, I found this one interesting article talking about how mother cats teach kittens how to relieve themselves by coaxing it out of them (licking the butt, I guess). There's a very good chance our little girl was separated from her mother earlier than the ideal, but she's 2 years old now, and lived with another family for 2 years. Kneading is apparently a very primal behavior, often indicative of cats separated too early -- and the pooping is happening while she's kneading.
So, I guess what I'm asking is -- Am I coaxing poop out of my cat by petting her? Has anyone else ever experienced this? How can I stop this? | openai_summarize |
If I can't afford it, I will say no. | Summarize the following paragraph: About a year ago, My father was asked for $1000 from someone he vaguely knew from his work (from which he recently retired). He gave his story which was the very vague "I've fallen on some hard times, and need the money to cover this months rent".My dad is one of those people who just wants to please everyone, and very seriously considered helping this man. In the end, we had to say no. a $1000 isn't insignificant for us, and though he may have been able to afford it. We didn't know this man very well, and thought that if he were credible, he wouldn't be asking an acquaintance, he would be going to closer friends or family. He asked me what I would do in this situation and I told him this.
For me, unless it was my brother, or one of 6 close friends (those six and I have been very close for 15 years), if I couldn't afford it, i would say no right away. If I could, I would not lend them a substantial amount of money unless they had proven to me that they really needed it. They will have had to have: Sold the car, cancelled the internet and cellphone, been getting side jobs, and cutting out other various things that are unnecessary during their tough time. I would be clear that if they don't pay me back, that I will not ever be lending to them again, however, the way that I word it might be different depending on my financial situation, and the relationship that I have with them. ("if you don't pay me back, I will never lend you money again" vs. "If you can't pay me back, I understand, but don't ask me to help you again if you don't".)
and for me to feel ok asking for a substantial amount of money, I will have had to have done all the things that I expect, plus anything that the creditor would want. | openai_summarize |
I'm sick of not knowing where we stand. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm sick of not knowing where we stand.
C- We haven't talked for a few weeks. My grandmother just died and you didn't even send a card or talk to me about it. But this has happened before...we'll stop talking for awhile and then when I'm back in town, you'll seem excited to see me. But then you won't talk to me after that. Admittedly, part of this is my fault since I'm so damn anxious about venting my problems at you so I talk to you less as well when I'm depressed. Which I have been for almost two years now.
I'm just so confused and I'm sick of worrying about it.
But the thing is, other than B, you're pretty much my only other friend and I'm holding on. I'm afraid of scaring B off too. You both deserve better. And you do have better-your friends are awesome and I'm so glad you're happy. I am such a fucking trainwreck. It's no coincidence that you two are the only ones left who care about me (?) outside my family...and they also question whether you are really my friend or not.
Fuck. I'm so lonely. Lonely and angry. There are times when I hate almost everyone because I feel like they're so superficial and there is no such thing as genuine connections anymore. I just want unapologetic honesty. I know there are people out there like that but in the age of social media it just seems so rare. But I also don't want people who only see the good in me (or visa versa). I want someone to see me as I am: as this paradox filled with both beautiful and ugly.
I want to hold on but I also feel like moving on might be healthy? Perhaps it's possible to make new friends and keep the old, but when the making new friends part isn't really happening, it's so hard to let go of the old even if it's time to do so. | openai_summarize |
I have been lying to my girlfriend about loving her for a long time because I am a shitty weak willed person and cannot bring myself to tell her the truth, but I am also very unhappy in the relationship and don't want to lie anymore | Summarize the following paragraph: I want to start off by saying that I am a massively weak-willed person and it is extremely hard for me to disappoint people or tell someone "no" for my own personal reasons. Basically I have a lot of trouble putting myself first in any situation.
My relationship with my current girlfriend is coming up on a year soon. There's not a lot of history to explain. The basic point is that she is extremely dedicated and committed to this relationship and has so far had no reason to believe that I am not also equally as committed. The problem is I am not in love with her, and I am unhappy in the relationship, and have been for a long time. She talks about how much she loves me frequently, and I respond the same way because I physically can't bring myself to tell her the truth. She has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve any pain, and I feel like a fucking piece of shit for lying to her face so much, but I can't even muster up enough willpower to tell her when I dont want to hang out, let alone break up with her. And now our anniversary is coming up and I feel sick to my stomach knowing I'm going to have to put on a facade of love throughout the whole thing. I know that the answer to this problem is to just tell her the truth. I'm just so disgusted with myself for lying to her for so long that I would never forgive myself for the amount of pain I'd put her through if I broke up with her now, but I get more and more entrenched in my own lies with every day I let pass. I know there's not a whole lot that can be done or said, but I wanted to see if anyone could possibly offer any advice. | openai_summarize |
I'm getting my natural eating rhythm back, but it's been drilled into my head ever since I started losing weight. Is this a normal pattern for someone with healthy eating patterns? | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm loath to knock what's working, but I just wanted to double-check if this is something normal.
I abruptly changed my unhealthy diet into a healthy one about two months ago. Every other time I've tried losing weight, I tried following all the common advice out there: eat breakfast, eat several small meals throughout the day, eat no less than 1200 calories every day, all that stuff. And every time, I was miserable, irritable, constantly ate well over my calorie limit, and eventually gave up entirely.
This time around, I decided to just stick to nutritious foods and aim for 1100-1300 calories a day with none of those other rules. The first week, it was hard to stick in the range, but in the next several weeks, I never went over (with pretty much no effort). Then maybe 2-3 weeks ago, I developed this sort of eating rhythm that cycles every 3 days or so.
* Day 1, I have virtually no appetite. I'll eat only nutritionally-dense foods and average a few hundred calories.
* Day 2, I'm somewhat hungrier than day 1, but not much. I might do 700-800 calories on Day 2.
* Day 3, I have a normal appetite and will usually eat 1200-1500 calories.
Additionally, I usually don't get hungry until early afternoon (so no breakfast) and I make all my own meals from whole ingredients (pretty much the only packaged food is tortillas). I eat when I'm hungry, my moods are stable and positive, and I feel just fine. Even on days that I work out, I have plenty of energy and rarely want more food afterward. For once, I'm actually losing weight *and* feeling good. My health problems are disappearing as well.
So it doesn't seem this is a problem because it just feels right, but it's been drilled into my head for so long that THIS SHIT WILL KILL YOU AND MAKE YOU FAT that I can't help but think I'm doing something wrong. Is this a common eating pattern, or a healthy one? | openai_summarize |
I'd like to get back into shape again, but I'm not sure how to do it. Also I'm sick of being an obese fat person. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello there!
I'm trying to get back into the habit of working out, but finding myself struggling a lot more than I expected. I will work out for a few days, then skip a day, but then a day turns to two, which turns to four and six, and then I've suddenly gone two weeks without going to work out. And it's making me gain weight, and that's in turn making me depressed, which is making me gain more weight again.
Originally I started at 101kg. I am F/25/5'6, and so of course, that put me in the obese category of the BMI scale. I worked hard for about 8 months, and got down to 90kg. Then my circumstances changed, I got an internship in the US, and for 16 months I didn't work out planned because I didn't have access to a gym, but I still lost another 8kg, putting me at 82kg. Now I'm back home and I just...can't find the motivation. I'm sure it's because I don't have a job and feel hopeless about my current uselessness, and because of that I'm eating more, as well as sitting around more, and that adds up, and I'm back up to 86kg.
I need to get off my butt and get moving again, so tonight I'm having a final "feast", enjoying fresh strawberries with cream, and tomorrow I want to get out again and get moving. Going to start easy by going for a long walk each day, then bumping that up to a combined walk and jog, and hopefully one day I'll be able to make a full jog around my track that I'm plotting out.
I just hope I can stick to it, as I'm closer, yet still so far away from my goal of 70kg (though if I could get to 65 that would be the dream, but I'm trying to be realistic too as I've been overweight my whole life.) | openai_summarize |
My dog is getting aggressive at night and I don't know how to handle it. | Summarize the following paragraph: Some background on the dog first, we adopted a 3 year old Chow mix in february and has been a great dog apart from some lack of training (no training in those 3 years) and is very loving and always wants attention and to be petted. He also gets walks fairly often and he likes being outside. He has had some trouble with other dogs but he mostly ignores them now. These past few weeks he has been acting strangely at night however. He used to only sleep in his crate, even when we let him have freedom to choose where he sleeps, but now he sleeps either behind the door of my sisters room or behind the couch. Then when you touched the door or couch in the slightest he would start to growl and show teeth. I have been putting him in his crate when he would do that. Today however, while watching Tv he randomly gets out from behind the couch and starts snarling and being aggressive towards me and my sister. I got up and grabbed by the collar and he whipped his head around and clipped me with his fang, not trying to bite but more of a head motion deal. After that he tried to go into my parents room and ran to grab a treat to attempt to calm him down (I knew i shouldnt have). I then put him in his crate and he laid down and slept like normal. I have no idea what triggers this behavior and have no idea what to do when he is that state of mind. Any advice would be nice. | openai_summarize |
I am filling out a DRFA. I have secret information I want to use against my ex. I am not sure how to fill in the knowledge I have about him. Is there an "slippery slope" or is there a way around it? | Summarize the following paragraph: Basic Info: I am located in Georgia. I am in a custody case with my ex for our 1 child, and we each want primary custody. We currently have a 50/50 temporary order, and a GAL is assigned to our case. I am Pro Se; he has 2 expensive lawyers.
I will be as vague as I can be for fear of my ex finding me out.
When he and I were together, we shared each other's camera rolls. When we broke up, he forgot to revoke my permission. Here I am, almost a year later, and I have uncovered a lot of dirt on him through screenshots and photos. I am filling out the Domestic Relations Financial Affidavit (DRFA) and am wanting to fill in some of the knowledge I know to be true. Only, I will surely be found out that I've been viewing his photos (but with his permission, mind you!). I don't really want to risk him ever finding out that I know about it unless there comes something *really* incriminating, so that is not an option for me right now.
Should I be questioned (and I definitely will be), what should I say? Is there some legal jargon loophole I could use? Could I plead the 5th? What are my options? | openai_summarize |
My sister seems to hate me, and I'm not sure what to do. | Summarize the following paragraph: She won't talk to me, so that's not an option. She was fine with me until this Tuesday, when we talked about how her friend kept coming over to visit me at school. She is still in highschool and I'm in my first year of college. This friend of hers sort of makes me uncomfortable, but I'm too afraid of confronting people to tell him that we hang out too much, and that he needs to respect his friendship with my sister first. She really wanted to confront him, but I begged her not to because I was going through a lot of things and this would be one more worry. I told her about the panic attacks I've been having lately, and how I cried for the first time in a long time because of how much stress I have right now. I think its because of this that she is mad, can you help me see things from her perspective maybe? I know its a long shot since this post is probably very biased towards me. I can't fathom why me opening up to her about something I'm insecure about would make her angry with me.
Some random notes about our relationship that may help you figure something out:
- She opened up to me recently about an experience of sexual assault she experienced when she was very young that she's been hiding from everyone for years. It took a lot of guts to do that.
- I recently planned a surprise birthday party with her closest friends to get the stress of college apps off her mind.
- I helped her with college apps for like two weeks of my own time just to make her feel more secure.
- I invite her over to talk or whatever because I know she is worried about a lot and she needs an outlet.
- She has like 3 tests next week that are worrying her.
What are done things I can do to be a better older brother? | openai_summarize |
Online dating boyfriend dropped off the face of the earth. Why? | Summarize the following paragraph: I was dating this guy I met online for a few weeks. Things were going great - he was really sweet and attentive, texted a bunch of times a day, met my friends and cared about their opinions about him, told me regularly how great he thought I was, seemed genuine, bought me a toothbrush and toiletries to leave at his house (!), made a candlelight dinner, etc. Any expectations I had of what our relationship was were completely set by him. We never slept together but were taking it slow and had good chemistry, although he admitted to having some ED problems.
Only days after he met my friends and we had a good time hanging out, he grew distant, got kind of weird/rude, and then dropped off the face of the earth. Stopped responding to my texts, stood me up for a dinner I was making for him (although I anticipated it so made other plans)... with no explanation.
My friends and I have a few theories, the most likely of which is he is a sociopathic serial online dater. But I don't know. Dudes out there, if you've ever dropped off the face of the earth while dating someone, why did you do it? Would love anyone's insight. As an FYI I am 31 (f), and frankly feel a little too old for this type of immature ish. | openai_summarize |
I am addicted to the love of my life, how can I work this out? | Summarize the following paragraph: My boyfriend "John" (16) and me have been together for 3 month now. I know this is not long at all and we are young and make mistakes but please hear me out. We're in our last year of highschool and everything's going pretty fine in our relationship.
We treat each other respectfully, we have common interests, we communicate whenever there is something the other doesn't like.
I used to be emotionally unstable before, unlike other girls I don't hate my body, I hate my personality. I didn't believe anyone would find me interesting at all, especially after the end of my first relationship that lasted 6months and ended with my ex finding me too boring.
John is a very positive person. His positive aura has made me into a very happy and relaxed person as well. I feel desired and loved and I am happier than ever.
Now the problem is he taught me to relax and not be a workaholic and enjoy my teenage life as I will never be this young again. And now that I am, I feel a lot less focused at school and everywhere else, I can't organize, I do everything wrong where I used to have a clear mind. I can't focus. All I think about is when I will see him again, when I can be my happiest again.
It's the last year of highschool so grades do matter. But there's no way I want to end this beautiful relationship over this. This is also a thing I do not know how to tell him. I don't want to be obsessive. There ARE still many other things I enjoy without him: painting, playing instruments, programming and all these other non-lazy hobbies I had before. But I am so extremely demotivated at school and can't seem to listen to what the teacher says and my time management is almost completely gone. I only want to see him during the break. It feels so wrong to only go to school because of this. Any way to make me less… addicted? Because he is still able to do his school work and everything without neglecting me in any way. | openai_summarize |
Making friends isn't helping me get away from a sense of loneliness. How can I find somewhere I belong? | Summarize the following paragraph: So this has been building up a while, especially after starting a new job and living in a situation where I cannot enjoy myself at home anymore. I have no one I can regularly hang out with during weekdays, so it only leaves the weekend to be with people. Which eventually ends up being a long string of rejections to hanging out and spending time with people (not all entirely their fault, I'm terrible at planning events and often a bad host when I do get something together).
So I figured.. F 'em. I'll go out on my own and try to meet people to have fun with. So while I have managed to get this far, after meeting new people and somewhat enjoying myself, I promptly return to a state of self loathing and loneliness the moment I walk away at the end. This is making my weeks hell to get through and affecting my attitude at work.
Pretty sure a very bad diet isn't helping my mood at all but I'm stuck for things I can do to help myself turn this downward spiral around.
(Note: Living in a country where I don't speak the native language.) | openai_summarize |
Ex told me that he stopped loving me halfway into our 2 year relationship, but dragged it on and now I feel pathetic. | Summarize the following paragraph: I broke up with my ex about 5 months ago and I'm still not over him. .. but that's not really the point here. We were each others first real relationship, first kiss, first love, etc. I broke up with him because he wouldn't stop lying to me and he was cheating on me emotionally with multiple girls behind my back. I tried looking for closure with him recently by just reaching out and talking to him and finding out what went wrong. He told me many things such as he got over me in less than 1 month and how he is hooking up with random girls now, which I admit hurts.. but everyone move on differently.
Towards the very end of our talk, I was able to get him to finally tell me the truth, and that was he stopped loving me 1 year into our relationship. I gave him everything throughout our whole relationship, and I can't help but feel like I was just a toy to him. Why would he continue to play with my emotions, did "intimate" stuff with me, when he didn't even love me? Even when I caught him emotionally cheating on me, I gave him the perfect way out of our relationship, but he begged me to give him another chance and I did. I feel really pathetic, how could he play with my emotions, and made me into something that was nothing more than a booty call, or friends with benefit?
Am I overthinking this? I mean surely, he probably dragged it on because for some reason he couldn't break up with me (whether he couldn't stand being alone or something else)...but man.. this sucks... :\ It's one thing to have your heartbroken... but its degrading when you feel worthless and taken advantage of. | openai_summarize |
GF is kickin' smokes to the curb, seeking advice on how to be as supportive as possible! | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey /r/relationships! Have loved this subreddit for awhile and finally have something to ask!
I've been with R for just under 2 years and she's a smoker (4-5 smokes a day) that's gearing up for a big quit next week. She's got the patch, has a really well laid out plan and I want to be part of TEAM R in helping her kick it for good. One of the things she asked me for is some little bonuses or incentives for being quit 1 week, 1 month, 6 months.
Looking for general advice, support, ideas to help her and also great ideas for fun/cute incentives. We live in Canada, love camping, she's a candy-fiend and she's also into live music for a few background tidbits. | openai_summarize |
FIL said a really over the line sexual joke about two little girls and it made me sick and I don't look at him the same now. I'm not sure what to do about it. | Summarize the following paragraph: My wife and I were at a family gathering over the weekend. Father in law has a really big thing for blonde women, which is interesting because his wife is brunette. Anyway, he constantly makes comments about attractive blonde women; if I see a blonde woman that I know and chat with her he'll say things (in front of his wife and family) such as "who was THAT?!"; when we were camping a blonde woman at a neighboring camp spot was chatting with us at our site and FIL was openly flirting with her in front of the family, grilled her a burger, and so on.
Here's the incident. Last weekend my wife and I were at a big family gathering with her in laws. There were probably 100 people there. There were two little blonde girls there, probably aged 7 and 5. They were dressed up, with curled hair and wearing dresses.
The topic came up that my wife's 3rd grader cousin got sent home from school that week because he pulled his pants and underwear down in class as a joke after some other kid had done the same.
A few minutes later the two blonde girls walked by and my father in law said "well if the girls in class looked anything like that I would have whipped it out too".
Everyone was appalled and laughed in a way like it was totally over the line, like you'd hear from the audience to a really vulgar joke from a comedian. But that was the end of it. As for me I'm pretty disgusted with FIL about this and can't look at him the same now. I don't know what I should do about it. | openai_summarize |
Boyfriend wants to take a break, won't/can't communicate and I don't know if I can keep waiting any longer. | Summarize the following paragraph: So I've been only been officially with my boyfriend for two months but one month ago, he went to Tahoe to work at a camp for the entire month. Over there, he had no service and couldn't really call me as often (I wasn't able to call since 99.9% of the time he was busy or had no cell service) but I was fine with that since I knew he was too busy. So three weeks in, I thought we're all fine and dandy just without a lot of communication (I sent him a letter and he called me a few times) until he calls me and tells me he wants to go on a break until school starts (Sept 26). He simply says that he thought we lost our "spark" and got too physical too quickly. After trying (to no avail since he has no reception) to call him or text him, I don't try to contact him until he gets back to civilization. Now he's back and he has been for a few days so I tried again to contact him. Nothing.
I think the biggest problem we have right now is with communication and I just want to talk to him to straighten things out but he keeps on ignoring my messages. Also, we go to the same school together when we got together but live 2-3 hours away during the summer so it's sort of long distance. Now I'm just starting to get annoyed so I don't know if I should just break up with him or keep waiting? When I started dating him I thought that we would be able to be together for a long time but now I'm started to just get fed up. | openai_summarize |
Dad and Mom fight like crazy, even my grandma starts to start the fight. | Summarize the following paragraph: In my 15 years of being alive I've never ever once seen my parents have a full blown argument or fight. Instead it's like they fight through mind reading and passive aggression. Yesterday we went to a family dinner and the basically got into an argument but what I call a really "pretty argument", no screaming, no yelling, none of that but all the tension of a full blown argument was there. So here's how it went.
Dad: *going on and on about work to everyone at the table*
Mom: " (dad's name) why don't you try eating your food" *really relaxed tone*
Dad: "I will, when I finish telling this story" (my dad does have a habit of going on endless tangents)
Mom: *gives "the look" starts squinting*
"I love you honey"
Dad: "I love you too baby, I love you more when your quiet" *glaring back at her*
Mom: *fuming mad*
My grandmother starts telling them to knock it off, my aunts and uncle all start acting awkward, and my brother and I just looked at each other like we always do, annoyed. It's as if both of them are going to boil over but instead of just hashing it out and arguing they do this, and the always do this. Even my aunts and uncles have all said this is how they've been fighting for years, never once have they seen them really just have it out. I don't think this is a good thing because it seems like one day they're just going to explode on each other. They don't stay mad at each other for a long time but it's weird because everyone's parents that I know have a screaming match to get it out of their system, not mine apparently.
Does anyone have parents that fought of fight this way? How do you feel about it? What was it like growing up? | openai_summarize |
I am an insecure jerk and gave permission to my husband to sleep around because he was so nice I feel like he deserved to fuck someone beautiful for a change. He did now I am hurt. | Summarize the following paragraph: This whole thing is my fault! It all started over my insecurities over my post children body. My husband loves us, provides for us, treats us so kindly.He is an overall great guy and I love him. Here is the big issue.
At my most insecure I would say to him that he deserves to sleep with someone who is actually beautiful. Not the likes of me. He would tell me I was silly and laugh it off. Until one day when he brought it up out of the blue. Asking if he really had permission to sleep with other women.
It hurt a lot and broke my heart but I did say he should and deserved it. I know how awful it must be to have sex with someone with a ruined body. I told him for it to work he would have to follow some rules. Such as wear condoms every time. Never the same person twice. STD testing. That sort of thing. He said all that was fine with him. I sucked it up . I didn't let him know my inner torment over this.
A month later he had a lady lined up from work to have sex with. Let me know all about it. He left to sleep with her after the kids went to bed. I just let him go hoping he would turn around changing his mind. To my horror he actually went through with it. I secretly cried my eyes out about it. I tried so hard to be ok with this for him.
This happened 3 more times. Each time as painful as the last. I created this monster and I have no idea how to make it ok. I did this to myself. Asking for a divorce would just make me an asshole. This is my dumb fault and I see no way out. Can I ask him to stop? | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend has been avoiding physical contact, I feel like I am losing her to school/work life. | Summarize the following paragraph: 24m My gf and I have been dating a little over a year, things have been great up until last December. The relationship started out amazing, I am a really shy guy and had not been dating for 5 years prior, but I was encouraged by some friends to ask this girl out. Turns out we had a lot of the same interests, were both huge geeks at heart.
When things got hot and heavy we moved mountains, the frequency and quality of sex was mind blowing. This lasted up until December, then she started avoiding physical contact, I didn't think much of it until just recently. Since January she has been very busy with school and work, I only get to see her maybe once a week, we talk every day but when I finally do see her, nothing much happens, maybe have dinner, talk some, but she has gone cold to any physical advances.
The other day I was saying how things have been a little cold compared to the norm, she acknowledged this and then threw herself at me. Not in a good way though, it seemed like she was doing it just for me. I could tell that she was faking the whole thing and had to put the brakes on it. All of this has made me very depressed, what have I done to destroy the spark? She claims it is school and her busy schedule, and things will be normal in a few months. But there are days where she comes to me all happy and full of energy, only to shut me down after I receive mixed signals.
I really do not want to be the boyfriend who only wants sex, but that is what it is starting to feel like. I could never do anything with her while I feel she is putting on a show just to make me happy. I am afraid I am losing her to career/school life. I am really torn, I do not want to feel bad for our sex life coming to a screeching halt, but I do. I still love her for who she is, but as the months go by with no physical validation of attraction I feel worse and worse. | openai_summarize |
met this girl at work and then we started chatting on facebook but suddenly stopped replying to my messages. Should I send her another message? | Summarize the following paragraph: I'll try to be brief. So I work at this wedding hall and one night we needed extra workers so my boss called this group of girls to work with us. All the girls were friendly and we were chatting and stuff but this one girl was clearly into me (and I was into her). She would talk to me randomly (more than the other girls) and would offer me stuff to eat or something to drink. So I get her facebook and we start chatting but suddenly she isn't replying to my message anymore. My message was "So what did you think about working with me?" in a joking tone. It's been two days and she hasn't replied yet and I see her online on facebook so it's not like she stopped using it. Anyway I want to know if I should send her another message saying like "Hey u still there?" type of thing or should I just let it go? I'm not overly attached to this girl so I can just drop it but I do think it'd be interesting to keep talking to her. | openai_summarize |
We have only been dating for a few months and already we were saying i love you and doing family activities with her child. We rushed into it. I am just wondering if us rushing into this and being so full on has ruined us for good or if there is a way to come back from this and how to start the process? | Summarize the following paragraph: We have been sleeping together for about 6 months and dating for 2. About 6 months ago she got out of an engagement with the father of her child and we instantly fell into bed with each other. The sexual tention between us was growing for months and she was very unhappy in her relationship so it wasn't hard.
We really fell for each other hard and we were both doing the right things to make each other feel loved and wanted but this lead to us moving way to fast.
My whole apartment is filled with stuff she has bought me, clothes she has left there and just things that a full on couple would have. Hand painted cup she made for me, a framed picture of us she gave to me, 2 bed side tables one for each of us and a whole heap of other things. We went from 1 sleepover a fortnight to 4 a week and the most nights we spent together in a row was 5. We also work together so we saw each other a lot.
We both said i love you and talked about future kids and whatnot. I also met her 3 year old a lot and we would go out to fares and shopping the 3 of us. She really isn't ready for this type of commitment and deep down i always knew but neither of us stopped it from happening.
Now she wants to be on a break and apart of me is fine with it but i am also heart broken.
I am just wondering if us rushing into this and being so full on has ruined us for good or if there is a way to come back from this and how to start the process? | openai_summarize |
Death is certain, and it's how we use our time alive that counts. Leave your mark on the world. | Summarize the following paragraph: My paternal grandfather died this weekend, and we were never that close. I went to console my uncle (who was very close to him), and help him with packing things up, etc.
My grandfather didn't own much. He didn't do much but play golf, drink cocktails, and chase women for the past 30 years. All of that is good and well, but what struck me as we were going through his condo was that his entire life amounted to not too much beyond glad-handing the bartender at the country club and cutting a rogue-ish image about town. That will be his legacy. Beyond some stories from immediate family, in a year or so anyone that knew him at the country club will be hard pressed to remember him.
It made me realize that life is precious, and we have so much potential to actually make a difference in the wider world. I have vowed to not go gentle into death and just be someone's memory and an unknown image on some photographs some day. I am inspired to start a foundation, leave a legacy at my alma mater, have a street named after me: SOMETHING. | openai_summarize |
I've been in a relationship for 13 months but may still love my ex. I haven't had a break-down in the last few months. I have 2 new gf's who are a little more compatible. Need advice. | Summarize the following paragraph: Okay, some backstory. I was in a relationship with a girl for about 2 months a year and a half ago. We were madly in love, and had really similar personalities. But we didn't have time to be with each other so we broke up. I got into a really deep depression over it and asked a friend to set me up with someone. I'm sorta drawn to broken people and my current gf is definitely that. I felt like I had to take care of her. We've been together for nearly 14 months.
Every few months I feel like I still love my ex. My current gf has also implied at points that if she didn't have me she'd kill herself.
My ex is dating a [M20] who lives about 2 hours away and she'll be moving to the same city for college in September.
Ive had 4 nervous break-downs about this issue over the last few months. Need advice. Please. | openai_summarize |
My roommate and I have been living in our two bedroom apartment for almost a year. We've heard loud noises upstairs, and neighbors frequently call early in the morning. Any suggestions on writing a note to the neighbors in this situation? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi there. My roommate and I have been living in our two bedroom apartment for almost a year. Shortly after moving in we began experiencing loud neighbor noises from upstairs—the typical heavy stomping (sometimes in heels), loud gatherings, early Saturday morning phone calls taken on the fire escape, and then some that take extra effort, like they're dropping heavy weights on the floor like "fuck setting this weight down, I'll let gravity do that." It's in every room—there's no escaping the stomps and thuds and sometimes repetitive sex noises. Even now as I write this I hear their muffled conversations coming through my ceiling—a high ceiling. We have neighbors surrounding us—my bed is up against the wall of the apartment next door—and we never hear a peep. Except from our friends upstairs.
Roommate and I have talked about leaving a note and have never had the balls to sit down and write it. We're both a bit lazy I suppose, but also I want to get it right—especially when I see neighbor notes/notes on cars/notes on refrigerators/etc end up on Reddit, torn apart (figuratively). I can't take the ridicule and more importantly I want this shit to end once and for all. I don't want to get a sarcastic note in response that *those* jerks will post to Reddit, laughing all the way to the front page.
Let it be known that these people are clowns, not physically challenged, no sentimental plot twist here—I've already gone upstairs to ask them to shut up (nicely, but firmly) one exceptionally loud night. Some typical stoner 20-something answered, said, "Oh are we being loud? Sorry," and the noise sort of ended...before resuming the next day.
Maybe they don't realize how loud they truly are. Maybe they need a well-written **note** to let it really marinate. That's where you come in: what do I say? What don't I say? My biggest fear is that they'll stomp even louder in protest, so I don't want to come off as a jerk. I also don't want to come off as some sort of pussy to be trifled with. Halp. | openai_summarize |
Had a drunken dance with a guy that was probably a friend of my boyfriend's at a frat party. I feel bad and am trying to make things better by letting it go. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm currently going through a rough point with my boyfriend of almost a year right now. Sorry if this gets too long, but any advice would be more than welcome. Using a throwaway for this post.
My boyfriend is an aspiring DJ and he had his first gig playing at a frat party this weekend. A few of our mutual friends and I went to go support him. As is the theme with frat parties, many alcoholic beverages were consumed. I had enough so that I had a pretty significant buzz going but not enough to be completely blackout or get sick or anything.
I was dancing near my boyfriend's station and suddenly some other guy comes up behind me and starts dancing while placing his hand on my hip. Most of my attention was placed on my boyfriend and I don't even really notice him. I put my hand near his, but I was really unsure how to react to him, as no one has ever done that to me before. My boyfriend was watching the whole time and he saw how physical the dancing got. He actually came down to the dance floor to tell the other guy to go away.
We've been talking about this for the past few days and he feels really upset and hurt that I was dancing with another guy like that. I'm upset with myself for even letting it get this far. I love my boyfriend and I thought I'd never be able to do anything to hurt him like that.
Dancing with that other guy meant nothing to me. To me he was just part of the atmosphere. I don't even know his name and I don't even really remembered what he looked like. But I still did, and I hurt my boyfriend, and myself, by doing so.
I've explained my side of the story to him, but he still is upset and angry about the whole situation, as he should be. It was terrible of me to let it get that far. I love him and I hate myself for doing that to him.
Could anyone please give me any advice on how to help make this whole situation any better? | openai_summarize |
I'm having a hard time dealing with depression and bulimia. I don't know how to tell my mom, and I don't know what to say. | Summarize the following paragraph: Okay. I've always had these bouts of depression, for as long as I can remember. But I hid them well. It wasn't until sophomore year of high school (I snuck out at midnight to meet a friend because I was feeling like I was about to commit suicide) that my mom found out I was ever this sad. The past summer, it kind of overtook me again. I barely left the house. I gained weight, which helped me to develop bulimia, which compounded the depression. I felt worthless.
This carried into the school year, and as a result, my grades started suffering. I used to be a straight-A student, but I found myself unable to summon up the motivation to even turn in homework. It didn't stop entirely, but it started getting better in December. I started fighting back. But every once in a while a wave will hit me, and I'm almost incapacitated again.
She's been asking me for a transcript to send to the car insurance agency. You get a discount if your student is all A's or B's. The thing is, I now have at least one C from just not doing work, so I'm going to have to tell her what was (and to a certain extent, is) happening.
I don't want to. I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm just reliving my brother's life, and that I'll end up being a disappointing failure. I want to keep this private, and deal with it on my own. Telling her about these things has never, ever helped me; it has always made them worse. | openai_summarize |
My girlfriend [18F] wants to break up with me [17M] but still wants to hang out and have sex and wants to be herself without worrying about upsetting me. | Summarize the following paragraph: So my girlfriend and I had/have (haven't officially broken up yet) been going out for a year and a few months, she recently turned 18 and I went all out with presents to make it special and even stepped back at her party to let her enjoy her friends company rather than bother her. However a few days later she let's me know that she isn't sure if we will last forever and wants to break/have a break to be herself and take away some stress, were just friends however she wants to talk everyday and continue to see each other and have sex. She says that she just wants to experience life without having to worry about upsetting me all the time. She told me she still loves me and cares about me, but I can do what I want (speaking to girls and stuff) and she doesn't expect me to wait around for her to be ready to continue in a serious relationship. Obviously I'm still in love with her so I'll stick around, but my question is if you think I should stay around and wait or give up? Also is this normal and what is she saying in easy to understand terms? | openai_summarize |
I feel like my feelings for my girlfriend is due to my love of my father, and that I will become something like him. | Summarize the following paragraph: to start I'm using a throwaway because my girlfriend knows my username.
So as the title says it, I randomly get jealous and compare her previous relationships to ours, not directly talking to her about it. I randomly get dreams about her with another guy, and the next day i feel really insecure. I trust her 100% and I know she doesn't do anything behind my back, but i still have this feeling deep down that theres something wrong, I dont think it has anything to do with her side. I feel like im just really controling, even when I told her I want her to tell me if i am. The reason I feel like this might have something to do with my father being very mentally abusive, and was very controlling towards my mom, and my stepmom(now divorced). I just fear that I will become something like him, and that is the last thing I want. My girlfriend and I have a very good communication, but i just want this feeling to go away. | openai_summarize |
My now ex and I are still close. Should I leave him a letter before I go? | Summarize the following paragraph: Backstory: We've been together for over 5yrs. The past year and a half he has been severly depressed and in and out of hospitals.
Recently he admitted himself into a psychiatric hospital. When I went to visit , he ended things. He said he needed to focus on himself and we werent good for each other right now.
Im heartbroken, but I know its whats right.
We live together and I we agreed that we would pack my things together. I am moving cross country to be with family.
We still are talking (he's still in the hospital) and are very close. He has told me several times that it will be like it always was but we're just not together. He said we will talk all the time and skype.
Im thinking of leaving a letter behind for him before move, but Im not sure if I should. I need help.
Heres the letter:
Dear Joe, There are so many things I want to say to you but I dont have the words to do so.
I have NO anger or resentment towards you and I understand why things have to be this way. Its hard, but I understand.
I love you, you know that. I will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what.
You are my best friend and I only want you to get better and ultimately be happy.
Love, Mandy | openai_summarize |
If you pick a book and give a good reason why you should read it, I'll post a review / report on it. If I don't like it I'll let you know and let you pick something else. | Summarize the following paragraph: Just got the new Kobo touch and they provided me with a $10 gift card for their store. Since I wasn't expecting the $10 I thought maybe it would be a cool idea to allow someone else to pick a book for me.
Here's how it works: suggest a book and give a good reason why I should read it. Make sure you check out the kobo store and insure it's under $10 (if it's not let me know, if your case is a good one I might go that way as well). I'll let the post go for one week and I'll pick on persons suggestion based on how well they make a case for it. I will then promise to post a report / review on book after I finish it.
Examples of some of the last few books I've read:
* Born to Run - McDougall
* What the Dog Saw - Gladwell
* Enders Game - Card
* Little Brother - Doctorow
* Hey Nostradamus - Coupland
* Don't Sleep, There Are Snakes - Everett | openai_summarize |
I got scammed by someone who offered me money through PayPal. Is this legit? | Summarize the following paragraph: I was on Amazon selling today when someone apparently had interest in my item... So I conversed with them and they wanted to pay me through PayPal. Now, that struck suspicion right there since Amazon doesn't support PayPal. The person said they would include $90 additional for "postage"... whatever that means. I went along with it, created an invoice and sent it to the "purchaser". I recently got [this]( in an e-mail and am quite skeptical. But, the offer's good money so I figured I'd check with Reddit to get some potential advice from them.
I looked up the e-mail address that "PayPal" used to send me the message and came up with the "Nigerian Email Scam" on Google. Although it's a pretty damn good indicator that this isn't legit, no postage address was sent through the person I contacted or this e-mail. So, should I just NOPE out and report the person for scamming on Amazon or is this legit? Unlikely... but whatever. | openai_summarize |
Had an affair a year ago, cheated on my wife and now she wants to speak to me.
EDIT: some words | Summarize the following paragraph: [Here is the initial post](
I wanted to thank you all for your advice. I got some very good, honest and blunt advice from you guys.
After reading the majority of the replies on here and talking to a friend in real life who knows the story I decided not to meet up, chat or talk with the wife. I sent her a short email telling her that I had moved on and that I was happy to hear everything was good with them. I ended up with good luck to both of you.
She replied just a couple hours later basically saying (paraphrasing here) that she understood and that she was glad that I moved on, that she spent the year of 2014 disliking me, stalking my online profiles and wondering why me. In 2015 she decided to blame redirect the hate towards the real cause of her problems, that I wasn't the one who decided to cheat on her, that I just went along and that I wasn't the one who married her, he was. She was hoping that by getting to know me she would have a more positive image of me and stop seeing me as (her words) the young dumb bitch who slept with her husband.
I'm not going to reply, I messed up, I'm not done forgiving myself and I hope she can find it in herself to fully forgive me. I just wanted to update you guys since you've been giving me pretty good advice. Thank you. | openai_summarize |
Got hired as a salesperson for gym at a new job, got injured in the back, quit within days and have to re-apply for the job. Am I screwed? | Summarize the following paragraph: WALL OF TEXT WARNING
Hi all. I'm in the final stages of the application process for a high-paying, high-end product sales position. A close friend of mine vouched for and recommended me (we worked together in the military and in operations for a tech F100 company) to his manager, who jumped me ahead through the application process.
I interviewed extremely well, smoked the aptitude exam, and was told by manager that he would love to have me on his team. The final step is the background check.
Now, my background is clear: no criminal record, not fired, done well in previous positions.
Here's my situation: during my last overseas deployment I injured my back. After leaving the military I rehabbed my back, and got my personal trainer certification (I power lifted and liked fitness). Was hired for a part time training job at a local gym (while working full time).
I go to my first day of admin in-processing at gym, then go work out at said gym. Within 20 minutes, I reinjure my back. Wife had to get me, go to ER, will be in bed for 3 weeks; eventually led to surgery. After a few days, I called gym manager, and we agreed that this job would not be conducive to my recovery. I resigned within days of starting.
I never list this job on anything since I didn't do anything and it doesn't add anything to my work experience. It was a blip. For this new job, I didn't list it either. I then have to call a third party background check firm for a short background interview. They basically asked about all my work history and other things pertinent to a background check. I fully disclosed all my jobs for the past five years, including the short-lived gym job. I told them why I didn't list it on any of my paperwork, since it was irrelevant to my work experience.
Am I screwed? I didn't even think about it. Will it be seen as an intentional omission and disqualify me? I'm a little nervous for some reason.
Thanks and sorry for the wall of text. | openai_summarize |
Ex girlfriend of 1 month left me and I feel like I'm stuck in a rut of not talking to her anymore. | Summarize the following paragraph: I dated this girl for a couple of months but we really connected in the short time we spent together. Or so I thought. Early in the new year she broke up with me citing that she wasn't ready for a relationship after having gotten out of a long term relationship shortly before we met. She broke up with me through text. Left my belongings in my mailbox and has refused to talk to me in person. I've come to realize how incompatible her and I were but I still struggle from day to day with the break up even a month later.
I see her almost every day because unfortunately we live on the same street, but when she sees me she pretends I don't exist. When she walks past my house she makes a point to look the other way. I think that if she would approach the situation as an adult and talk to me and communicate with me that I wouldn't hold the grudge I hold against her, but every time I see her I get angry and I hate that I get angry. Worse yet is that she hasn't been very shy about the fact that her and her ex have been hanging out which has caused me even more stress.
I haven't talked to her in quite some time and we haven't talked in person since about a week before the breakup. There is a part of me that wants to ask her to meet for coffee or something and talk in person so I can try to get the closure I desire. Is that a horrible idea? | openai_summarize |
My dog wakes up at the same time everyday and relocates herself to a different room. This is the only time during the day that she willingly separates herself from me. Why? | Summarize the following paragraph: This is just a simple curiosity post.
About a month ago I rescued Maia, a German Shepherd mix. She never leaves my side.
What I find very interesting is that she only seems to feel comfortable sleeping next to me in her bed. Expect, like clockwork, she wakes up at 5 and checks to see if I am awake. When she realizes that I'm not getting up, she goes back to sleep, but not next to me, downstairs in the dining room.
Its the only time that she willingly separates herself from me by different rooms.
Any ideas as to why this may be? | openai_summarize |
I need help being less insecure after almost 2 years of being together with my girlfriend and im a very insecure person | Summarize the following paragraph: Me and Girlfriend have been involved for 2 years now, and have been very involved and for the majority very happy spending our time together.
In March however, with stress from university and confusion about what i truly could cope with i broke up with her. For me this was the biggest mistake i ever made, and she knows that and so do i. To cut a long story short, after 3 months we finally got back together and have been great. Apart from one thing, I read her messages and I dont seem to be able to stop..
I know i shouldnt yet i do, and it genuinely isnt that i dont trust her! because i whole heartedly do, i can swear on that. However, i still find myself taking the opportunity occasuionally. Nearly every time i have done i have been caught (as i am very sloppy with covering my tracks and she is too clever for me). She has said that she isnt going to break up with me, and she is just going to change her passwords (which i think is a great idea).
Basically, I'm a very insecure person on the interior and I KNOW that this cant carry on as it is causing me to check her messages.i need to be proactive. Any suggestions on how to feel better about myself and not doubt that im enough anymore? | openai_summarize |
boyfriend smokes. I hate it. We're moving out but I don't wanna take that step till I know he is done smoking becaus I don't wanna smell it everyday. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hear me out:
We've been dating for almost 4 1/2 years and he didn't smoke when I met him. He started around the 3 1/2 year mark and its bothered me ever sense.
We used to talk about how gross smoking was. Now I have to smell it on him. I've tried supporting him, telling him how bad it is for your health, threatening him, ignoring how upset it makes me. But i always end up just telling him it hurts me. And he says 'i know. You always tell me. Stop controlling me.' He says he wants to quit and has cut down significantly but I smell it on him everyday. I don't always bring it up but it always hurts my feelings
I grew up with two smokers and I always hated that my parents did it and wasn't afraid to show them my disdain.
I bought a home and we are planning on moving into it in about eleven days but I have found out recently that he is smoking a lot more then I realized. I found a pack of his in his clothes pocket! I know it sounds stupid but i felt better thinking he just bummed them off of his friends. Now I know that he buys his own packs and has been smoking daily.
Since finding this out I'm not sure what to do. I don't want him to move in if he smokes. He says he isn't gonna quit by then and I need to deal with this on my own and if someone else's smoking bothers me that much then I have issues of my own.
He tells me I'm controlling his life and he'd rather not move in if I'm gonna have set rules for him. I don't want to live with a smoker. To have to smell it on him everyday.
I wish to god that I could just not care so much. That I could trust that he really will quit and just be there to support him. But I can't.
I really love this guy so I'm not trying to break up. We get along so well besides this.
What should I do? | openai_summarize |
I want to ask a girl out but I'm shy and really shy. Halp | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm in college and there's this girl in my apartment complex that lives above me that I think is pretty cute. In the beginning of the year I would talk to her occasionally as she was out letting her cat get some exercise. Then I don't know what happened to the cat and I basically stopped seeing her even though she lives right above me.
Fast forward a quarter to finals week. I see her on the bus a couple times and we begin to talk and she's a really nice, sweet girl. I wanted to ask her out but I don't really know how since I dont' really see her much in person at all. I talked to her a little over my spring break over facebook but I would like to get to know her better.
Is it creepy to just begin speaking to her on Facebook? Or is it weird to just possibly ask her out if I don't know her all that well? I mean she lives right above me she's honestly so close. I'm also pretty shy and I get really nervous so any tips/tricks on how to go about it I would appreciate it! | openai_summarize |
I'm conservative when it comes to relationships and having a hard time finding someone like me. I can't tell if I'm just not doing it right. | Summarize the following paragraph: Although it might be odd for a lot of you but I'm waiting until marriage to have sex and I want the same in a partner. This includes things like anal sex. I also believe in taking things slow and working on ourselves so that we can have a more stable relationship. This hasn't made finding people to date very easy, I've only had one girlfriend so far and it only lasted a couple of months because she wanted to take things very quickly. I know this seems like a generalization but I sort of want to meet girls who are in college to focus on their careers and who want a slow but meaningful relationship. The type of girl who doesn't drink or party and just prefers to do her work then come home and spend some time together or with a handful of friends. I've tried getting to know people at college but so far I haven't met one that even comes close. I'm starting to think that I need to take a smarter approach to finding someone like me since the numbers game hasn't worked out so far. Nothing wrong with getting to know different people but I would really like to find a girl like me soon. The thing that confuses me is that I've actually met other guys with similar views but never a girl, I can't tell if I have bad luck or I'm just looking in the wrong places. | openai_summarize |
Friend's boyfriend is crazy manipulative and potentially suicidal | Summarize the following paragraph: I have known my friend for about 2 years now. In that period of time, I learned that she fully supports her 32 year old boyfriend (she is 24) while going to grad school and living off of student loans. This guy hasn't graduated from high school, the five years they have been together, he has worked a few months here and there, but he depends on her entirely (car, housing, food, gas, cell phone, you get the idea). He has gotten fired from ever job that he has ever had, and the reasons he gives her are classic: " the manager wanted to sleep with me and when she realized I wouldn't cheat on you, she fired me," "I was doing the job better than the manager and she felt threatened and fired me," "Oh I didn't get that job because the manager said I was too qualified."
Anyway, recently, she decided to move out and "stop" supporting him. But he still has full control of the car, and comes over to get money, and makes her feel guilty for "abandoning" him and leaving him homeless. Yesterday she decided to not see him, he called her 30+ times, and when she finally picked up the phone, he threatened to drive over a cliff and kill himself if she did not agree to see him. She of course agreed, he stayed the night with her, and when I saw him leaving this morning, he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face, and literally skipped his way to her car. Manipulative much??
Anyway, she knows he is bad news and wants to leave him (at least that is what she tells me), but she is afraid that he will kill himself if she does. | openai_summarize |
I think my girlfriend is cheating on me (mostly) and I don't know how to proceed
EDIT: I received a very polite yet firm response. I thought I was being rude and I'm not. | Summarize the following paragraph: I was on my girlfriends phone and saw tinder in her suggested apps. We met on tinder but she told me that she deleted it. I assumed she just forgot and opened it, but she was using updated pictures from awhile after we started dating and disconnected her Instagram so people wouldn't see pictures of us together. I haven't confronted her about it yet and she doesn't know that I know but I'm really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
What do you even do in a situation like this, or is there any better way to handle it than to just tell her I know? | openai_summarize |