myothiha/jokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

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204,424	How do you piss off /r/jokes? Jokes: son-of-a-b***h
86,402	How do you know a woman is wearing tights? - Her knees swell up when she farts.
15,466	Don't judge men by their wealth or appearance, judge them by their characters. All 140 of them.
57,130	There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car looks ridiculous!
140,892	I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
37,284	it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room
105,068	What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? The Da-da-defendant.
138,414	What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him? Amen
199,616	Sports fad invented by pigs: Mud wrestling.
225,221	A sex joke I wrote I don't tell her where to go. but why does she always come?
53,220	Apparently there was a new episode of ""Biggest Loser"" on tonight... Indianapolis Colts edition.
91,180	What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?
44,765	Bill murray banged my mom and everyone chalked it up as yet another fun silly thing bill murray did but he destroyed my family
71,726	If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
103,947	Why do girls make a ""shhhhh"" noise while peeing and men don't? 'Cos men have a 6 inch silencer.
152,050	If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once.
45,559	Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza? He ate it before it was cool.
75,828	Nostradamus's childhood Kid Nostradamus asks his mom: ""Mom, what's for dinner?"" ""Like you don't know, you little prick!""
199,179	I said the punchline before the joke. Wanna know why I got downvoted yesterday?
161,339	My new neighbor is fat, obnoxious, and loud. Now I know how Canada feels.
219	I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot.
67,169	you become your ""real you"" when you are hunched over eating a burrito on the toilet and you look up and see yourself in the mirror
48,403	Bad Cop: The proof is in the pudding. Good Cop: Stop putting all our evidence in pudding. Why do you keep putting our evidence in pudding?
43,045	What is the speed limit of Sex? 68, because at 69, you eat it.
1,409	My friend peed on the floor so he can come into my room. I looked over at him and told him ""You're in""
55,281	These Mexican cannibals accidentally... These Mexican cannibals accidentally kill a priest for their meal. One of the guys asks the cook ""ay, what's for dinner?"" The cook says ""tacos al pastor""
144,524	Judging from the sounds in my trunk this guy would have had an excellent career as a drummer.
106,282	This Christian rock band is so bad... ...I want to die right now so I can complain in person.
100,495	What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.
167,288	Me: gets in pool Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: gets out of pool
205,274	I used to date a midget... I was nuts over her
131,114	What do Mexican's put under their carpet? Underlay
167,701	As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day It's lucky my older brother told me about it really... \- Milton Jones
35,262	[interview] ""What's your strongest trait?"" My fingers. ""No, like... Are you pinching me??"" GIVE ME [fighting to maintain pinch] THE JOB
61,607	What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce? Chicken sees a salad
111,171	All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes.
105,023	Did Donald Trump make the right choice when picking his running mate? It de-Pence on who you ask.
40,159	What makes Skrillex skillful at the chemistry lab? He rocks at dropping the base.
88,228	When I found out the murderer dismembered the victim, It really tore me into pieces.
226,721	What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors.
74,117	What do Mexican jokes have in common with black jokes? Once you know Juan, you know Jamal

204,424

How do you piss off /r/jokes? Jokes: son-of-a-b***h

86,402

How do you know a woman is wearing tights? - Her knees swell up when she farts.

15,466

Don't judge men by their wealth or appearance, judge them by their characters. All 140 of them.

57,130

There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car looks ridiculous!

140,892

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

37,284

it really hurt my feelings when you called me a stalker to your friend when you guys thought you were alone in the locker room

105,068

What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? The Da-da-defendant.

138,414

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him? Amen

199,616

Sports fad invented by pigs: Mud wrestling.

225,221

A sex joke I wrote I don't tell her where to go. but why does she always come?

53,220

Apparently there was a new episode of ""Biggest Loser"" on tonight... Indianapolis Colts edition.

91,180

What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?

44,765

Bill murray banged my mom and everyone chalked it up as yet another fun silly thing bill murray did but he destroyed my family

71,726

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

103,947

Why do girls make a ""shhhhh"" noise while peeing and men don't? 'Cos men have a 6 inch silencer.

152,050

If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once.

45,559

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza? He ate it before it was cool.

75,828

Nostradamus's childhood Kid Nostradamus asks his mom: ""Mom, what's for dinner?"" ""Like you don't know, you little prick!""

199,179

I said the punchline before the joke. Wanna know why I got downvoted yesterday?

161,339

My new neighbor is fat, obnoxious, and loud. Now I know how Canada feels.

219

I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot.

67,169

you become your ""real you"" when you are hunched over eating a burrito on the toilet and you look up and see yourself in the mirror

48,403

Bad Cop: The proof is in the pudding. Good Cop: Stop putting all our evidence in pudding. Why do you keep putting our evidence in pudding?

43,045

What is the speed limit of Sex? 68, because at 69, you eat it.

1,409

My friend peed on the floor so he can come into my room. I looked over at him and told him ""You're in""

55,281

These Mexican cannibals accidentally... These Mexican cannibals accidentally kill a priest for their meal. One of the guys asks the cook ""ay, what's for dinner?"" The cook says ""tacos al pastor""

144,524

Judging from the sounds in my trunk this guy would have had an excellent career as a drummer.

106,282

This Christian rock band is so bad... ...I want to die right now so I can complain in person.

100,495

What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.

167,288

Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*

205,274

I used to date a midget... I was nuts over her

131,114

What do Mexican's put under their carpet? Underlay

167,701

As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day It's lucky my older brother told me about it really... \- Milton Jones

35,262

[interview] ""What's your strongest trait?"" My fingers. ""No, like... Are you pinching me??"" GIVE ME [fighting to maintain pinch] THE JOB

61,607

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce? Chicken sees a salad

111,171

All I want from a woman is for her to hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me it's ok to get out of her bushes.

105,023

Did Donald Trump make the right choice when picking his running mate? It de-Pence on who you ask.

40,159

What makes Skrillex skillful at the chemistry lab? He rocks at *dropping the base.*

88,228

When I found out the murderer dismembered the victim, It really tore me into pieces.

226,721

What did Oliver Twist say at the slave auction? Please sir, I want some moors.

74,117

What do Mexican jokes have in common with black jokes? Once you know Juan, you know Jamal