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vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0212

2016-2017

2017-01-26

M

A

I'm with an older couple and one or two of their women friends. We've just had dinner and are walking outside. There's tension between the man and wife. As a nurse, she will take care of any family member who becomes sick due to age. The husband disapproves. His wife says, "I hope you are not disagreeing with me. This is very close to my heart." There's an awkward silence. It's clear that our after dinner plans have changed. I say, "I hope you guys work things out. I'll see you soon."

2JSA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0213

2016-2017

2017-01-27

M

A

I'm on an Army base with several enlisted men and officers. We've been tasked with removing radioactive material. Everyone except me wears protective equipment made of banded clear plastic. I argue with the officer in charge, who resembles Vice President Pence. I tell him I will not work without proper clothing, and that changing my uniform will take three hours. I tell him by then the job will be done. The officer listens patiently but insists I obey his orders. As we talk, periodically a man being chased runs by. I say, "Who was that?" Finally, I agree to the task, but repeat my demands. The officer accepts. Waking, I say, "I would like to do that but will have to prepare my uniform."

2JOA, 1MOA, 1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0214

2016-2017

2017-01-27

M

A

I'm in a tropical country, staying in the home of an indigenous family. There is sadness here. The woman's husband has died. Petite, thin, her black hair tied back, the caramel complected woman steps outside. She walks straight up to me, her gaunt bleak face white- washed, her eyes, in fear or misery, open wide. It is the custom for to look this way. "Mommy," she says several times, "I met my husbands ghost. I'm sorry for his loss."

1FSA, 1MSA, 3FKA

SD 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0215

2016-2017

2017-01-28

M

A

My former girlfriend Karen wants to be a hypno-therapist. She and I and two other people are in my bedroom at Highland Place, which is double its size. We're discussing the rooms layout, which My former girlfriend Karen will use for her practice. I tell her the patients can sit here, and point to an upholstered wing chair, or this one, here. Or they can sit on the floor, upon which she can light candles. Suddenly a stocky young man with thinning blonde hair, scar, and wearing white food service garb, enters the room and rudely criticizes my remarks. We continue talking but he dominates the group, saying we should move the practice from Newark to Chicago. In a stern confident voice I say, "Hey. Hey. You gotta get out. It's not you. It's me. I'm a bad person. Now get out!" My former girlfriend Karen and the two other people stare in awe, but I tell them he was taking over. When the stocky man departs the meeting resumes. A moment later a short thin young man with lanky brown hair, and who resembles Jackson Browne appears in the doorway.<span style="display:none;">[109]</span> He's looking for the man I've just kicked out. "He just left," I say. The short man says, "Thanks," and departs. The meeting continues.

1FKA, 1MSA, 2ISA, 1MSA, 1MSA

CO 1FKA+D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0216

2016-2017

2017-01-29

M

A

I'm young, attending a party. An attractive woman is staring at me. I pretend not to notice, and turn my head this way and that, showing off my profile. It's exciting to know that someone is interested in me. In the large slate floor bathroom, which has only one urinal, I look in the mirror. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and resemble Robert Redford.<span style="display:none;">[110]</span> Outside, there is another woman I want to meet. She has long brown hair. She is beautiful and vivacious. In just the right way I tell her why she is irresistible, that I'm in love with her. She feels the same toward me. It's so invigorating to be in love.

1FSA, 1MSA

HA D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0217

2016-2017

2017-01-30

M

A

In the jungle, brightly lit, an elderly professor lectures on political theory and history to a class of earnest students. The professor speaks ardently about his subject. "Hegemony equals..." he says. And on and on it goes. I find his talk complicated and boring and fall behind. I take notes but understand little of what they mean. We will have an exam tomorrow. I realize I understand almost nothing of the first half of class. The scene changes. Beautiful and elegant older women, with white hair, and dressed in flowing white evening gowns, have caught their rich husbands in a palatial whore house whose many rooms and corridors are lit with soft florescent light. The women wander from room to room, express their disgust in quick cutting remarks, and walk out.

2JOA, 2FSA, 2MSA, 2MSA

CO D, AN D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0218

2016-2017

2017-01-31

M

A

Leah and I are in a bustling European city.<span style="display:none;">[111]</span> War has been declared. In the excited panic we seek shelter, hurrying from one site to the next. Past an enormous tank blocking the street, we enter an old office building. As if nothing matters people come and go. By a stairwell beneath a skylight, a loud falling noise explodes in flame and debris. With two or three people, Leah and I run to the exit, jumping through flames. Since we have nothing to keep warm, I consider running back up the stairs to steal a blanket. Instead, Leah scurries up a high ledge, spreads her arms, then swan dives over a large room, floating gracefully down over the busy office workers. Hoping to be seen, she is also looking for someone, possibly My former girlfriend Karen. Moments before, I had asked Leah, "Will you marry me?"

1FKA, 2JSA, 1FKA, 1FKA

AP 1FKA+D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0219

2016-2017

2017-01-31

M

A

I'm at a country retreat, standing on the side of a hilltop large grassy field. Many young men, mostly Asian Indian's, have gathered here to play soccer. I'm a bystander, rejecting myself from joining them. Near me, two brothers, perhaps eight and ten, with pug noises and lofty brows suggesting Irish descent, silently stare at the players, then taut them with clown-like antics. But the young men cannot organize themselves and eventually leave, as do the brothers, who have been flirting with two freckled girls, one of whom says, "They were so cute, but weird."

2MEA, 2MEA, 2MEA, 1FSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0220

2016-2017

2017-01-31

M

A

I have two hours before class, but is it time enough for breakfast? I walk down from the field to an old wood building that's pleasingly dilapidated, weather beaten, the green paint on the front door curling and flaked. As I walk up the porch steps I grasp a small latch by a window to swing upward, nearly hitting the middle-aged blonde woman behind me. She looks at me strange, her green eyes wide with awe. Upstairs, I sit down at a long wood table; instead of a place setting, a horizontal pile of strawberries and crumpled pancakes. Behind me, a wall mounted flat panel monitor airs a TV show. A handsome young Asian Indian man, whose thick black hair is brushed back, sits down directly across from me. "Is this how the food is served?" I ask. He says he doesn't know. We strike up a conversation, which somewhat surprises me. I think, "So, this is how people meet." The Indian man talks fervently about the TV show. Have I seen it? No, and he continues, rapidly describing the plot, recent episodes, the current dilemmas. There are legal problems, he says. There is litigation. I listen attentively, but have no idea what he's talking about.

1FSA, 1MEA

CO 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0221

2016-2017

2017-02-01

M

A

In a darkened hotel room with half a dozen strangers, I'm in bed with a woman I do not know. Because the heat is on high I pull down the covers. Waking, the woman scratches her head on her feet. Two people in this small bed make it uncomfortable, so I shift to my side, put my arm around her. When the woman asks what I'm doing, I tell her, and why. I'm aware that another woman is watching us, and that my bare chest is visible. The woman next to me asks about the heat. Can they (hotel staff) turn it off? Will I turn it off? I say nothing; I don't know where the thermostat is located; I don't want to get out of bed. The woman, who is friendly, tells me about herself. She is here with a guest. They've flown down from Cincinnati. She's going to pay for his law degree, which, because of a scholarship, will cost one thousand dollars. In the darkness I wonder if the woman is pretty. When there is light, I turn to look at her. She resembles Debbie, a large anxious girl from grammar school, who wore her chestnut brown hair in a '60s bouffant. This woman is happy. She kisses me on the cheek.

2JSA, 1FSA, 1FSA, 2IOA, 1FKA, 1FKA

AP D, HA 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0222

2016-2017

2017-02-01

M

A

I'm sitting in a chair in Greg's apartment, listening to the conversation on my phone as he talks with someone else in the room.<span style="display:none;">[112]</span> I hold up the phone and say, "I called you twice." When I get up to go leave, Greg gives me an angry look. Back in my apartment the bathroom light is on, the water in the sink is running. Who's in there? It's curly haired John from Ft. Devens.<span style="display:none;">[113]</span> He says he has stomach troubles. He has bacteria and diarrhea. But I shouldn't worry, he's been washing his hands. But what has he touched? I don't want his sickness.

1MKA, 1ISA, 1MKA

AN 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0223

2016-2017

2017-02-03

M

A

I'm at a crowded airport in Africa, pressed up against a ticket counter by a throng of people. Everyone has filled out forms and anxiously await their tickets. Finally, a very dark black clerk calls my name and number. I hand him a piece of paper and ask him to check it. He refuses, returns the ticket, saying if I do not take it, he will destroy it.<span style="display:none;">[114]</span>

2JSA, 1MOA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0224

2016-2017

2017-02-04

M

A

Before I go upstairs to the apartment on Highland Place, I check the snow covered drive way, where a large pizza is partly buried under snow. I dig it up, to eat later, then go to the front door to walk upstairs. I look into the darkened first floor living room; the apartment door is open. Vladimir, aged two or three, sits on the carpeted floor, wrapped in a blanket, sucking his thumb, staring at the TV.<span style="display:none;">[115]</span>

1MKC

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0225

2016-2017

2017-02-04

M

A

I'm in a large basement cafeteria. It's spartan, abysmal, empty. The cashier, Paul<span style="display:none;">[116]</span>, stands at a counter top window which is cut into a white wall, and framed by stainless steel. He's set a glass of milk for me as I approach with my food tray. I have ten dollars ready, but someone has left a ten dollar bill at the window. Has the person behind me seen it? Does it belong to them? To someone else? What to do? I take the found bill and hand it to Paul. Eyeing the glass of milk I say, "Thank you, Paul. Perfect."

1MKA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0226

2016-2017

2017-02-05

M

A

I'm in a small rectangular room with five or six people trying out a new game. We're tossing small glass or plastic bell shaped discs like frisbees between opposing teams. But the discs are too small, the field too narrow, the game does not work.

2JSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0227

2016-2017

2017-02-05

M

A

Seated in a small but comfortable hotel room, I'm watching a movie on TV. A middle- aged woman sits behind me. Behind her, a very old man with a full head of white hair, who has survived the Holocaust; her father. As he mumbles about the Germans, the camps, the gas, I ask his daughter if he has seen this, and show her a circular white postage stamp bearing the names of concentration camps and nearby towns. The scene changes. I go up to my room; before sitting on the toilet, I close the blinds, so the middle-aged woman won't see me. The bathtub is full of hot clear blue water, which drips from the floor mat draped over the edge of the tub. Stepping into the tub, I lie back in the water, recalling the advice that soaking benefits the mind and body.

1FSA, 1MSA, 1MEA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0228

2016-2017

2017-02-05

M

A

In a large empty gymnasium, two Hispanic sisters, twenty-five to thirty years old, walk toward me. One woman, Giselle Sterling, has a body builders pumped up physique .<span style="display:none;">[117]</span> Naked, showing off her to her sister, the veins in her body bulge grotesquely. Her breasts, shaped like shields, are high and compact. Her nipples are dark and large. Confidently, Giselle says to her sister, "Fit." Her sister repeats the word.

2FEA, 1FPA, 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0229

2016-2017

2017-02-06

M

A

A sickly looking black person sitting on the ground, man or woman I cannot tell, whose faces is mottled and scarred, reaches out to touch me. I tell this person to get away from me.

1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0230

2016-2017

2017-02-06

M

A

I walk into a dim lit room and am grabbed from behind by a black person. I'm struggling to break free but my hands are firmly held behind my back. I lean backward and deliberately fall, hoping to break my captors grip. The tactic fails. I call out, "Let go! Let go!"

1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0231

2016-2017

2017-02-06

M

A

I own Joe Crawford's Variety Store, and Joe is my customer.<span style="display:none;">[118]</span> The rheumy eyed old man shuffles toward me and stands by the cash register, forlorn and defeated. I say, "Let's see, you want cigarettes, right?" Joe Crawford shrugs his shoulders, a semaphored 'yes.' Provocatively, I say, "What do I want?"

1MKA

SD D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0232

2016-2017

2017-02-08

M

A

With two or three other people I'm swimming in the ocean, trying to body surf the clear waves. Back on land, lying in bed, I hear people searching for me. My mother needs help running her store. I tell one person I'm in Beverly, and it's too far away. When another person approaches, I pretend I'm sleeping. I imagine answering the phone and saying, "This is Silverspartan."<span style="display:none;">[119]</span>

2ISA, 1FKA, 2ISA, 1ISA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0233

2016-2017

2017-02-08

M

A

Part of my new job near the ocean is to convert money into other currencies. I have no idea what this entails, and when asked a second time, I wake up, saying, "I'm sorry Richard, I don't want to do it."

1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0234

2016-2017

2017-02-08

M

A

A red-haired couple and their two sons, dancing to music, are on holiday at a seaside resort. The husband hands a hotel concierge wearing a black tuxedo a glass globe mounted on a white base. The objet d'art is from Europe, possibly Austria. The concierge takes it to be appraised. In that moment the husband trusts that it will be returned. When the concierge later returns the globe, he tells the husband it's valued between $1800 and $2000. "You've done very well," he says. After telling his wife that her mother would be proud, the husband wipes his mouth on a white towel, leaving blood in the shape of a bite mark. But this blood and the bite mark are mine.

2MSA, 1MKA, 1MOA, 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0235

2016-2017

2017-02-09

M

A

With other adults I walk to a meeting at a spacious high school. I don't have the white sailor cap with black letters that everyone else wears, and would feel foolish wearing it. Even so, as we walk down a dim narrow stair case I ask black man wearing a blue jacket and tie for one of the hats. He doesn't hear me; I feel hurt. As we walk, I imagine students loitering in the bathroom, making it unsafe to use. Finally, we reach the area where the meeting will be held. Looking out from a stairway, at a small plaza, seated in brown leather upholstered chairs, I see my mother and her friends, here for the event. I walk over to my mother and ask if she would like to join us. She says no, it's more comfortable where she is. I say, "That's what I thought," and return to my friends. Among them is Bruce, an enthusiastic black youth from my high school fencing team.

2JSA, 1MSA, 2IKA, 1MKA

SD D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0236

2016-2017

2017-02-09

M

A

While waiting at an underground subway station I scratch a twenty dollar lottery ticket. Boarding the train, I drop my wallet in the crowded car. "Excuse me," I say to the passengers, "Did you see my wallet?" The man who has found it hands the wallet back to me. But I've lost the lottery ticket. It's nowhere to be found.

2JSA, 1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0237

2016-2017

2017-02-09

M

A

As a toddler contemplating a spoon in his mouth, a sickly looking Michael M<span style="display:none;">[120]</span> sits on a sofa, unaware that soon his teeth will fall out.

1MSC

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0238

2016-2017

2017-02-10

M

A

I'm with several people walking to a car in a shopping mall parking lot. It's getting dark. We pass a well dressed couple; the woman is an attractive tall thin blonde. I think, "I want to make love to her." As I get into the front seat of the car, a heavy set dark-haired woman in the vehicle next to us leans forward as she adjusts her seat belt. Her blouse opens but I turn away. As we pull out of the parking lot the driver asks if it's safe to turn. I tell him, "I can't see, Frank. The angle is strange." The driver is Al Pacino in his role as Frank Serpico.<span style="display:none;">[121]</span> Someone gives the all clear sign; we drive away.

2JSA, 1FSA, 1MSA, 1MPA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0239

2016-2017

2017-02-12

M

A

I'm giving advice to a man who wants to buy a birthday present for his son. Others have told him, or he has decided, to buy an animal pelt. But we are digging in a river bank, searching for animal remains. I tell him this is much more authentic, that the boy will value his fathers actual find more than a store bought gift.

1MSA, 2ISA, 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0240

2016-2017

2017-02-12

M

A

I leave a crowded room or theater for a small comfortable restaurant similar to Grunings on the Hilltop, where I'm surprised to see Dan Berrigan; dead for a year.<span style="display:none;">[122]</span> He's younger, handsomer, his hair is stylishly cut. I shake his hand and say hello. It's really him, kind unassuming Dan. I sit next to a young woman whose hair is cut short like a soldier or Buddhist monk. As we talk, an older woman comes at me with a three bladed weapon, a sort of fencing pitch fork. It's lethal; she means to impale me. Afterward, as I resume talking with the first woman, she relates surprise at the older woman's prowess. "She was a gym teacher," I say. The young woman sighs, "Ohhhh..." Seeing that she understands, I say, "Now it all makes sense."

1MKA, 1FSA, 1FSA

CO D, CO 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0241

2016-2017

2017-02-14

M

A

I'm a medic in a war zone hospital, where a team of war weary doctors will euthanize a severely wounded man who lies an operating table unconscious. At a signal, the lead doctor will plunge a screw driver or similar implement into the dying man's chest. A diagram, similar to a football field playbook, will guide him to the fatal spot. As the doctor raises the implement over his head, he looks to me and asks if I'm ready to watch. At the last second I shut my eyes and cover my ears, but in the eye of my mind I see and feel the killing thrust, the spattering blood, and horrified, bolt awake.

2MOA, 1MOA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0242

2016-2017

2017-02-15

M

A

I'm on a sunny beach on the phone with a girl in France about "The Quiet Time," which she is showing to her excited girlfriends.<span style="display:none;">[123]</span> The girls have pictures of me in Vietnam, which they find appealing. I hear one of them ask, "How old were you?" The number fifteen is mentioned. I thank the girl on the phone for her help. Everyone is vibrant, happy.

1FSA, 2FKA, 1ISA, 1ISA

HA 2JSA+D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0243

2016-2017

2017-02-15

M

A

As I leave a restaurant on Washington Street, plain faced Leslie, a student acquaintance, with her curly blond hair and vintage granny glasses, walks by. She is thrilled to see me. "Oh, just in time!" she says, and showers me with hugs and kisses. We're a couple, I return her affections, but secretly I do not love this ebullient "Plain Jane" woman who is clearly in love with life. I'm simply not in her league.

1FKA

HA 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0244

2016-2017

2017-02-16

M

A

I'm in at the counter of a large clothing store similar to Gruber's clothing store in Irvington, NJ.<span style="display:none;">[125]</span> A salesman and secretary are trying to help an Afghanistan vet. At first all goes well, but the stocky, round-faced, balding vet suddenly ducks past the salesman to get at the office records. The salesman and the secretary, caught off guard, are stunned; both exclaim, "Whoa!" I intervene, attempt to calm the vet down, but the salesman hands me a sheet of paper. He tells me that like the vet, I'm unwanted here. Banned. I try to read the dialogue on the typed page but have trouble reading it. The situation nears a tipping point.

1MOA, 1FOA, 1MOA

CO 1FKA+1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0245

2016-2017

2017-02-17

M

A

I'm in the front seat of a cab being driven by a pretty young woman, a friend of Liz L. Sitting quite close together, we strike up a conversation. At first it's simply small talk, but I like this girl. The scene changes. We're in my bedroom in the house by Seton Hall, laying on the bed, talking.<span style="display:none;">[126]</span> I ask the girl her name. "Ruanne," she says, but I don't quite hear it, and ask her to say it again. Afterward, I ask her what Liz has said about me. "That you fucked her," she says. We continue talking, but during a lull I draw close to her, we kiss, I mount her. As we make love, smiling like Liz, who she so much resembles with her long chestnut blonde hair and alluring features, Ruanne says, "You're crazy." It's because while I'm inside her, I have one finger in her bottom, and another diddling her vagina. As in life, I can't believe I'm inside this beautiful girl.

1FSA, 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0246

2016-2017

2017-02-18

M

A

At a crowded stadium in a foreign country a rally is being held to denounce foreigners. As the event draws to a close and people are exiting, I'm caught up in a melee. I have a club or police baton and repeatedly try to hit the man in front of me, but can't manage to correctly swing and strike him. The scene changes. With several strangers I'm in the stark white painted hallway of a house or apartment building. The police or army arrive and with guns drawn are commanded to fire at will. Like the strangers I'm with, who are one dimensional and solid black, I throw myself on the floor and keep entirely still. As the armed men swarm, someone screams, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"

2JSA, 1MSA, 2MSA, 2MOA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0247

2016-2017

2017-02-18

M

A

I'm going back and forth between private and VA doctors. At issue is refilling my anti-anxiety prescription.<span style="display:none;">[127]</span> The VA doctor is adamant; the drug is toxic to my system. I tell him, yes, I've taken it far too long; it's bad for my liver. Vehemently, the VA doctor says, "That's for damn sure." Waking, I say, "I read you loud and clear, doc."

1MOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0248

2016-2017

2017-02-20

M

A

Two men, the size of children, circle and dodge inside a fight cage, each wary of the others power. The crowd becomes impatient. The scene changes. I'm at my apartment in the town I lived in from 2001 to 2012. My mother has re-arranged all the clothes in the bedroom walk-in closet. In place of my five identical blue shirts and equal number of tan pants there are dozens of colorful shirts from my adolescence. On the wall, she has hung her dresses and bras. Seeing the shirts, I say, "What! I haven't worn those in years," and begin taking them down. Next, removing my mother's clothes from the wall I think, Her breasts were inside these bras, but this doesn't excite me.

2MSA, 2JSA, 1FKA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0249

2016-2017

2017-02-21

M

A

I'm in a town similar to Blangkejeren in Northern Sumatra. The buildings are simple one and two story wood structures; the streets are wide and uncrowded. There's a crime underway. A group of young people run for cover while a sniper fires hundreds of BBs at them. I watch as a dozen fleeing youth, entering a narrow alley, buckle and fall when hundreds of metal pellets shower down, wounding them. I run down a wide street, completely exposed, passing a truck selling WWII surplus green canvas pouches. Seeking shelter, I burst into a ramshackle house, where Maryann Paul<span style="display:none;">[129]</span> is a therapist. When she invites me into her office, I tell her, "I have to take a leak," and ask where is the bathroom. Maryann says it's down the hall. She says she has to leave but another therapist will see me at 2:30 p.m. At that, she introduces me to a young and good- looking petite brunette with a ponytail. On the way to the bathroom, thinking of this girl, I say, "This is good." In the bathroom there is feces in the toilet. Seeing this, I think, Offer someone a place to shit and this is what they do.

2JSA, 1MOA, 2JSA, 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0250

2016-2017

2017-02-24

M

A

Walking about a country fair with friends, we meet a handsome dark haired young man selling calendars. My friend and fellow Vietnam vet Edward selects one among the many pastel colored packets on a vertical display rack. Afterward, I ask to see what he's purchased. I'm wondering, 'How can this be a wall calendar, it's too small for that?' In fact, the calendar consists of square numbered sheets, one for each day of the year, all hand made, of high quality, as is the artisanal cardboard box. I turn to Edward and ask him about the source of the materials, hoping they don't pollute. An individual resembling Ernest Hemingway, who misconstrues my question, says the calendar merchant is a pilot. He says the government has investigated him over the calendars, and that as a result he has nightmares. I ask if the pilot has sought treatment, a cure for his poor sleep. I sincerely want to help him, this man who does not at all look deeply upset.

2IKA, 1MKA, 1MSA, 1MOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0251

2016-2017

2017-02-25

M

A

While walking in a semi-forested area I meet 12 year old Michael M. He's with a nerdy young Englishman with a school boys haircut, and wearing gold colored corduroy pants. At first I prefer to walk alone, even when invited to Mike's house. However we meet again, the three of us now walking through woodland that's oddly sparse, not thickly populated, like a real forest. As we go deeper into the woods, I've never to this part before, a quiet Asian girl with exotic hazel eyes, joins us. Now, in place of dirt paths there are cracked, broken and crumbling sidewalks; the ground is littered with trash. In the distance, an old apartment building in a shabby neighborhood, where young people congregate. Fifty meters to our right, several young people with a pit bull loiter and chat. There's something ominous here; while Mike and his friend are intrigued, the girl and I enter an abandoned house. I'm tempted to take advantage of this plain looking girl who is fearful, unsure of herself, but my role is to protect her. She looks left and right, debating to herself what to do, her entrancing eyes, like those in a dolls head, shiny and clear. Finally, she steps sideways to the door and is gone.

1MKC, 1MSA, 1FSA, 2JSA, 1ANI

AP 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0252

2016-2017

2017-02-27

M

A

As the only member of my team, I'm at one end of a large grassy football field, much like that at Elk Grove Camp. At the opposite end, a team captained by Marc L.<span style="display:none;">[131]</span> At the last minute I realize that he's thrown the frisbee, which flies toward me low and perfectly straight. I catch the flying disc, and trot a few steps forward. As L's team run down the field I rush forward, staggering bursts of speed. Nearing the goal I look back. My opponents are nowhere near me. They must be thinking they've never witnessed anything like what I have done.

1MKA, 2MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0253

2016-2017

2017-02-27

M

A

With Robert M and two other men I'm attempting to find a way up a small steep ledge that borders a ranch-like house. There is nothing to grab onto, nothing to push off. After Robert figures a way up, it's my turn. As I struggle to reach the top he offers to help, and twice, firmly, I tell him no, stop, get away, until reluctantly he does so. Wanting to do this on my own, without help, I tell him, "It's the only way to feel pain." When the third man has clambered over the ledge, we enter a large modern office building. Robert and I walk down a long narrow corridor filled with sunlight. It's busy here, much construction is underway. "Do you know where there's an empty office?" I ask Robert. He says "yes", and we arrive at a door resembling a bank safe, which is surrounded by wood or cardboard boxes. A thin young doctor seeks to help Robert open the door, but I shoo him away. The scene changes. We enter a busy office, where a pretty girl with a beehive hairdo, apparently in charge, works in back. She doesn't interest me, and I'm certainly not her type. Abruptly, we leave. On the way out, a short pudgy woman stops me at the door. "You were trying to steal something, weren't you?" she says accusatively. Is she serious, or flirting? Since she doesn't believe me when I say "no" I telephone her boss. "OK," I tell him, I'll take (steal) three dollars." We walk past the accusative woman; once outside, in a small grassy valley, bordered by tall rocky cliffs, someone's phone rings. It's a dark blonde woman with all American looks, who I'd seen at the office. "OK, you can kiss me," she says, in reply to my wanting to meet her. John W<span style="display:none;">[132]</span> and Robert fumble about, but I need to go back to the building. I really want to meet this girl.

1MKA, 1MSA, 1FOA, 1MOA, 1FKA, 1FSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0254

2016-2017

2017-02-28

M

A

I'm at a meeting where a leader is being elected to save Indonesia, under siege from floods and disaster, which are destroying the country. The scene changes. A woman climbs among the flotsam and jetsam packed tight in a huge crater. She wanders about in the rubble, unaware that flood waters will sweep all this away.

1MOA, 1FSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0255

2016-2017

2017-03-02

M

A

In darkness, I'm standing with homeless people, an outsider, observing, listening. After a time I decide to leave and head back. In darkness, immediately I become lost in a maze of high walls of impenetrable tree bark. I press my hand to the coarse wall, attempting to keep to one direction, but it's hopeless. Even with the bit of intense light, I'm hopelessly lost.

2JSA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0256

2016-2017

2017-03-02

M

A

At Su Casa, I leave the main building and walk to a deserted wood which no one else knows or cares about.<span style="display:none;">[134]</span> Past an old chain-link fence, an abandoned road made of large flat stones spaced apart like railroad tracks. I jump the fence, walk down the road, and come upon an Appalachian-like neighborhood, a lost world of crowded wood shacks, hundreds of old junked cars. I imagine the people living here prefer their ornately weathered derelict homes to modern prefab apartments, so identically dull and drab compared to the outlandish wear and tear, the jury- rigged nature of these tragically beautiful run down shacks. In truth, this is the silent face of abject poverty that stubbornly declares to visitors, "Keep out." I crawl through a shack's first floor window. It's huge inside, each room filled with hundreds of collected objects, all neatly arranged on shelves. Kitchen appliances, stuffed animals, clothing, shoes, tools etc. are everywhere. In a bathroom, I meet a pretty girl. Drunk or waking, she is happy and affectionate toward me. At first quietly, so as not to wake the inhabitants, who must be asleep upstairs, I continue walking from one room to room, looking at hundreds of objects. Gradually I become noisy, then lost. Retracing my steps, I still can't find my way out. Finally I succeed, but at the wrong end of the street. I'm completely lost. I'll hail a cab, but at first can't recall the name of the resort where I'm staying. Back at Su Casa, it's dark. I'm alone, standing near a palm tree. Knowing three girls are nearby I remove my black long underwear. Seeking to return to my room, I walk up the wrong hill, which is thickly wooded and soggy. Other people behind me have made the same mistake. At last, I see the lights and low flat roof of the motel-like building where my room is located.

1FSA, 2FSA, 2FSA

HA 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0257

2016-2017

2017-03-03

M

A

An Army trainee stands in front of an immense sergeant, who inspects each man in a line. When the sergeant begins to question him, the recruit wallops the sergeant's ear, and he drops to the ground unconscious. The shocked trainees stare in disbelief as the recruit repeatedly stomps his heavy boot to sergeants head. MP's arrive, arrest the attacker, drag him to a jail cell, beat him. The prisoner recruit says this only makes him stronger. A commanding general orders the recruit to be tormented by waking him every hour, dousing him with cold water, stunning him with a cattle prod, and eventually, killing him.

1MOA, 2MOA, 1MOA, 2MOA, 1MOA

CO 1FKA+D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0258

2016-2017

2017-03-03

M

A

A young Japanese man, an engineer, is harassed at work by his supervisor. I tell the Japanese man to start a blog. I tell him that writing down his experiences will ease his tension. I tell him that his writing, informed by his character, will make a favorable impression. When I tell him these things, he shuts his eyes; his face almost literally goes blank. Is he crying? Holding back his emotions?

1MEA, 1MOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0259

2016-2017

2017-03-03

M

A

I'm in an enormous building, a sort of jail, with walls painted aquamarine. I leave my cell and walk about. Looking up at the next tier, I see young men and women being coached to play volley ball or a similar game. If the coach, a very large man, sees me and asks me to join them, I'll walk away. I watch a nearby group of teens, waiting to play, wonder what to do. They adhere to group norms: they have one leader, many followers; all wear jeans and sport unruly hair. I walk to very large round room with a tiled floor similar to the surface surrounding indoor swimming pools. At one end, a small chrome plated fountain pulses clear water. In my stocking feet I mimic ice skating on the slanted tiles. Sitting off to the side, a glum man watches me coast and turn about. Afterward, I walk past him to what looks like a small shop. In the small curtained display window a very short black mustachioed man, of Indian descent, with an enormous head like a fireplug, lies on his back. Is he sleeping? He's dead, lying in state in a small casket, a garland of flowers encircles his neck. I stare at his blackening face, at the crystalline wound on his embalmed cheek, at his shiny preserved facial skin, then leave.

2JSA, 1MOA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0260

2016-2017

2017-03-04

M

A

I meet a man in New York who resembles the young David R.<span style="display:none;">[135]</span> He is tall, slender, with fine black hair and Middle East features. We walk to his building, which has a large red awning; upon it, the name "Pirro" is lettered in white. In his studio apartment we sit and talk. This man is kind, knowledgeable, caring. I tell him his studio is similar to David P's, and describe the single oblong room, the small bed against the wall, the flat screen TV mounted near the window. <span style="display:none;">[136]</span> Afterward, as I walk down the street, I open the envelope he had given me. It contains a half dozen certificates which I mistake for one hundred dollar bills. In fact, they're savings bonds in amounts from one hundred to fifteen hundred dollars. He has also gifted me a small construction helmet, imprinted with bonds. I'll give these to a child. The scene changes. I encounter a large group of tourists who are encouraged to enter a large raised platform, gated by a surrounding wood banister. Here, they will be seated and entertained. As the tourists enter, I hesitate, I don't want to be penned in; I may have to pee. But there are empty seats and I enter the platform. Later, I encounter a large field and a performance sponsored by a New York man, apparently a mystic. Lined up in front of the audience, who sit on the bare ground, itself regulated by a strict grid, a dozen dark complected musicians, who appear to be Hispanic. Behind the audience, thirty yards away, several devotees of the mystic occupy a large tent. In front of the open tent, I talk with a devotee who seems in charge. Wearing a turban and billowy white clothes, he speaks in riddles. Periodically he kisses me. At other moments, just when he comes near, time snaps forward. When I ask about that, he responds cryptically, to which I reply, "That's like having oral sex with a tooth brush." He laughs, which makes him human.

1MSA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 2JEA, 1MSA, 1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0261

2016-2017

2017-03-05

M

A

I arrive in England and stay at the quaint brick house of Levin D, where people have gathered.<span style="display:none;">[137]</span> Something has take place. There are wood boxes full of 7.62 mm bullets and ammo clips. There are old small caliber unjacketed rounds. Several children play with the ammo. In a corner, I see Levin's wife, once glamorous, now older, matronly, and wearing a Jackie Kennedy veiled hat over a frumpy hairdo. I walk to her but at first she doesn't recognize me. "Oh, hey," she says, and begins to ask what happened; it's clear Levin is dead. "But we'll get to that," I say. "How are you?" She comes close, unable to speak, clearly wanting to be embraced. I hold her in my arms, imagine being overcome by lust. Quietly, I pat her back. Outside, as we sit on a brick stoop, she says, "Here we use the word 'kanad' for man. I say, "It's such an old word." From where we sit, we view the massive chimney of the house, which is half blown apart. I've read or heard that Levin had placed an AK47 inside it.

2JSA, 2JSC, 1FKA, 3MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0262

2016-2017

2017-03-05

M

A

There are ghosts in this room, angry and spiteful, but I'm unafraid. Instead, I assail each with words. "What are you? What have you made of your life? You whore! You bitch!"

2ISA

AN 1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0263

2016-2017

2017-03-06

M

A

In the Canadian wilderness, I'm with two women in a large log cabin. It's very cold outside. Suddenly, a polar bear tries to enter the cabin through the fire place. No one panics. Instead, one of the women aims a vacuum cleaner to fan the embers. The white sparks, blue flames and high heat kill the groaning bear, or cause it to leave. The crises ended, I walk from room to room, looking for a place to pee. My plan is to urinate into a wood bedframe, but instead I find a toilet. One of the women says the Park Service had closed all the cabins but recently re-opened them for public use.

2FSA, 1ANI, 1FSA, 2IOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0264

2016-2017

2017-03-06

M

A

A pretty young woman is standing outside two of the log cabins from the previous dream. I ask her a question, we strike up a conversation, soon we are lying on the ground, the woman stroking my arm. I tell her that's very nice. We talk a bit more, I embrace her, holding her close. After a third variation of the dream, I wake, saying, "I don't recall those details, sweetie, but I'm going to write the others down."

1FSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0265

2016-2017

2017-03-06

M

A

At my old high school, I walk past a thin ornery student standing by a running track, who purposely swings a thin baseball bat, nearly hitting me. In denial of what has happened, I continue walking and enter the school. Once inside, I have fear, and want to press against the door to prevent the ornery student from walking up behind me. However a tall athletic and confident student enters, and strides past me. Dressed in jeans and my blue sweat shirt, I walk to class. Who cares what the staff or students may think.<span style="display:none;">[138]</span> Before entering the room, I peer though the doors small vertical window and recognize several students. The small class will be lead by Mr. Catello, the short balding middle-aged authoritarian music teacher. Where is my notebook? I don't care. As I walk to my seat, Bobby G asks if Steve S is attending classes.<span style="display:none;">[139]</span> I tell him I don't see why not.

1IOA, 1ISA, 2JOA, 1MKA, 1MKA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0266

2016-2017

2017-03-08

M

A

Arms folded across my chest, I'm standing off to one side in a large darkened auditorium. Musicians or actors span the stage, but I'm hoping the girls on my left will notice me. What's this underfoot? A cross between a skateboard and a horseshoe crab, as the girls titter, I try without success to kick it away. I know that this board, this thing, has life, and slowly, as I stand upon it, it raises off the cement floor, hovers, and Segway-like moves in the direction I tilt or lean. Soon, I'm skyward, speeding through brambles, which I duck or push away, then flying in open space, the clouds below, the horizon before me. Holding my arms up like a champion, I say, "Look, everyone! Look! I'm flying!" I'm aware that certain places are better to pass through than others. At an airport or shopping mall, after hovering in a wide-open space, I touch down. A short thin man or woman, a sort of trickster figure, nags me from behind. Whenever I try to hit, or pin and crush this figure against a wall, it cleverly defeats me. The scene changes. With three crones, I'm sitting high up on a white shelf, braced to a white wall, overlooking the malls open space ahead and below. Each crone wears an ornate disguise, a mask cleverly handmade of cloth and fabric and knitted yarn, that fits snugly over the head. "What are you?" I ask one woman. "A fox," she says. And it's true. Her mask has a vulpine snout and ears. "And you?" I ask a woman who resembles the salesgirl at a local grocery store, and who in life resembles actress Diane Keaton. "A cucumber," she says. "Oh, you don't look like a cucumber," I reply.

2JSA, 2FSA, 1FSA, 1FSA, 1FPA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0267

2016-2017

2017-03-10

M

A

I'm with Leah. In broad daylight we run from Judy, her angry girlfriend. Neither of us is scared. In fact, this is fun. Like parkour athletes, we clamber up a tall chain link fence, jump down, about ten feet. I land hard on one leg, injuring it, but I tell myself it can't be that bad. I have pain, but keep running. We enter the basement floor of a large Spartan house. To hide, I duck into a small cement room, where a folded piece of canvas hangs loosely in the door's empty window. Slight breezes let bright sunlight enter at the fabric's edge. Leah joins other people in the next room, a cavernous dark hall, who also hide from Judy. I see Judy run past, filled with rage, looking for Leah and me. Will I fight with her if she finds me? I know that Leah is safe. Judy returns, going the other way, then she is gone. I walk to the room where Leah is hiding. Someone asks if we'd like something to eat. I think, Yes, I really want a cheeseburger.

1FKA, 1FKA, 2ISA

AN 1FKA, HA 1FKA+D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0268

2016-2017

2017-03-12

M

A

I'm with another man who I seem to know, a lanky and lighthearted, friendly and intelligent man, with a father-like bearing, who wears spectacles and parts his hair high on one side. In tandem, a few meters apart, we're bicycling on a highway. As we near the city, he seeks to pass me. I pedal faster, almost maniacally, and speed ahead. There is the airport. Viewed from behind, there are the large planes, parked in a row that borders the highway, their enormous tail fins, like monuments, arching into the sky. But is this Newark airport or JFK? I need to know how to get to New York.

1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0269

2016-2017

2017-03-12

M

A

It's morning. A bright sunny day. Vendors arrive at fairground that resembles the city park where I live. Most have unloaded large boxes and containers of used clothing, books, appliances. I go up and down a row of sellers, looking at whatever items are on display. Many people arrive, as if headed to work. A haggard and frantic middle-aged woman, wearing a cloth coat with a fur collar, runs up to and past me. It's as if she stepped out of a Degas painting. "T", she shouts, raising up both her arms. Other people join in. "T...T...," they are shouting (i.e., the city's word for "subway"). In the distance, the train station.

2IOA, 2JSA, 1FSA, 2JSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0270

2016-2017

2017-03-14

M

A

I'm in my grandparent's apartment on her street in a NJ city. A writer's group is just concluding; everyone stays the night. My Aunt Annie, a favorite of mine, sleeps in the bedroom; the participants, all young people, remain in the living room. In the morning they trash the place, throwing whatever is at hand. Glass shatters, metal and wood clang and crash; the room is a cacophony of objects falling, smashing, breaking apart. Then panic sets in the melee stops: Aunt Annie will be upset. I hide in the double door clothes closet, pull the folding doors shut, hold them tightly closed. Bunched up childlike on the floor, I'll look foolish if I'm found. The scene changes. The melee is reported on TV by an attractive young woman who wears her black hair in a ponytail. She describes what has happened, how she was badly injured, sliced in the chest by a large knife. Her gaping wounds, apparently cleansed, are clearly visible. Speaking eloquently, purposefully, she's dying. A handsome young man with black hair also reports the event. The pair alternate their commentary. As the woman goes to a commercial break, telling the audience she and her partner will be alright, the man, also mortally wounded, says, "Meg...Meg. You're wonderful."

1FKA, 2JSA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 1MSA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0271

2016-2017

2017-03-14

M

A

After a bomber air raid, at low tide I walk on the beach with two men. Burnt up fixed wing aircraft and ruined boats litter the shoreline. Further off, a replica Spanish galleon lies stranded atop a sand bar. I wonder "what is that doing here?" but I say nothing. A survivor tells us how he narrowly escaped being consumed by a wall of flames. I imagine being caught in the fire, telling rescuers to just let me go (i.e., let me die). We have another day or so to walk about, but I'm depressed. I just want to sleep.

2MSA, 1MSA, 2MOA

SD D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0272

2016-2017

2017-03-14

M

A

I'm sharing a bed with the daughter of a writer friend of mine. Mindful of my friend, I'm on my best behavior. "Are you OK with this?" I ask. She says yes, and we continue reviewing a recent terrorist attack. As we talk, our toes inadvertently touch. By chance? On purpose? I disregard it. Somehow, we're able to reproduce the attack. Terrorists in a Humvee draw close, firing an M60 machine gun out the window. The two GIs they hope to kill, standing on a mound right next to the vehicle, simply lean back and duck slightly, allowing the bullets fly past. I imagine grabbing the barrel of the machine gun, or chucking a grenade thru the window, but grabbing the barrel would only burn my fingers; the GIs have made the best move. At least I now understand the attack. Suzanne wanders by in a bikini.<span style="display:none;">[145]</span> With her back to us, she stands still, framed by a palm tree, an azure ocean, a pristine shoreline. A yellow belt made of braided nylon hangs from the small of her back.

1FKA, 2MOA, 2MOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0273

2016-2017

2017-03-15

M

A

My brother and I trek in dark thickly wooded mountain terrain. We arrive at a deep narrow gulch and decide there's only one thing to do. Fearless, we excitedly jump down the long dark narrow space. Will the landing be hard or soft? At the last moment I see water, and plunk down safe. We continue climbing. Later, my brother writes down our falling experience, and reads it aloud to a person whose joined us. It's good writing, but not great. Rather than spoil the moment, I listen and smile.

1MKA, 1ISA

AP 1FKA+D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0274

2016-2017

2017-03-15

M

A

The dream repeats itself. This time, however, I'm with several others hiking the area. Among the hikers, an obese young woman in a wheelchair who resembles my neighbor Lizzie from when I lived in New Zealand. Resting, I take carrots from a wicker basket. Who has left it here? We are guests of culture, of a person or group who care for the mountain. Another hiker, a short young man, sensitive and intellectual, and with short hair and a Semitic noise, makes me aware that I'm taking these things, simply taking them. I feel bad not leaving money or in some way showing respect. How will we get the large woman down the gulch? She says that she's driven her wheelchair four to six miles to Boston before, but does not wish to take the easier route again. A huge, lumbering, almost muscular woman, her arms and legs bulging with fat, she gets out of the chair and begins climbing down the gulch. Later, I meet the shorthaired hiker at his home and ask what birthday gifts he's received. A rowboat, perhaps? No, a football receiver. I ask if it's similar to the one he had, and tell him where the basket hoop is nailed to the wall. He's surprised that I know this, and describes his new gift as a variation, a receiver for another team.

2JSA, 1FKA, 1MEA, 1FSA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0275

2016-2017

2017-03-15

M

A

In a small white tiled bathroom, I've filled a large old-fashioned tub, nearly to the brim, with clear water. When I touch the drain spigot, it sounds a brief alarm. Accidently, I drop a small hairbrush into the water, pluck it out, set it in a small window or shelf. Elsewhere in the house, which resembles 39 Ivy Street, a kind older man or woman offers to talk with me between such and such hours; we agree to meet.

1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0276

2016-2017

2017-03-16

M

A

I'm in the mountains, possibly Colorado. There's a meeting taking place. A man points to a higher spot across the plain. "It's impossible to live there." he says. The mountain he points to is partly covered in trees, partly in boulders and rock. I tell him that's not true. I tell him I lived in a village at 10,000 feet. I tell him it's cold but you have to get used to it. I tell him the rainy season is worst. He asks about food. I tell him the indigenous cooked traditional meals. I tell him a guest house cooked three meals a day. I tell him about a peasant and his wife that I met, who lived near the top of El Sur at 12,000 feet in Guatemala. He must have had farm land below, but lived far above the village. I tell him at the very top, on the Altiplano, it looked like the moon, and was incredibly quiet. I tell him about the peasant's wife, her infant daughter, her weaving and her loom.

1MSA, 2JEA, 1MEA, 1FSC

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0277

2016-2017

2017-03-16

M

A

By an open invitation, a great many high school students have gathered outside a large modern building, whose exterior first floor is painted white. I've met the person who lives here, am older than the students, and do not fit in. What to do, sit on the modern white metal bench or go inside? The students look so young; they must be freshman. My fears are exaggerated.

2JSA, 1ISA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0278

2016-2017

2017-03-17

M

A

I'm in a small field. It's spartan, bare bones in nature. There is almost no vegetation. An older light-skinned black man scoffs at a younger black man, who has tried to taunt him. There's tension here; I leave with a man for his spartan house. One of two in the area, built of long horizontally placed rectangular panels of unfinished wood, the front of the house is broad, high and flat, and without windows. We enter, climb a steep narrow staircase (I have locked the door with a small hook and eye, and a button device), which leads to a small narrow bedroom very similar to those at the guest house in Guatemala I often visited. A young black girl, seven or eight years old, with a large Afro, and who is precocious, lies awake in bed. I ask her name. She tells me it's "Syria." I try to think of other Mideast countries to call her, but only Jordan comes to mind. So much for attempting humor. Sitting near her, I try to play a simple stringed musical instrument, but with little success. Outside the house, amongst a small crowd, I duel with a superb athlete dressed as a Greek or Roman warrior. Armed with unpointed spears--he has already broken mine in half--with incredible agility, he evades, parries and defeats all my attacks. Finally, I defeat him, and he turns into a water bug that I chase after, hitting it with my spear, forcing it to crawl into a piece of clear plastic membrane at the edge of the house, which leads to the basement. The insect borrows through the plastic, into a clear gooey bog, where presumably it may die.

1MSA, 1MEA, 2JSA, 1MEA, 1ANI

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0279

2016-2017

2017-03-18

M

A

I'm on the phone with my high school acquaintance Barry F's mother, having located a woman who may help pay for her dental work. This is the second time I've called; there was no answer the first time. When she picks up, I say, "Is this Mrs. Frantz?" With a startled tone, she says yes. I explain the call, noting I had earlier spoken with her husband. Silence. I keep talking. As I look out onto the stormy seacoast, onto the wharf with its weathered boards and creosote tarred poles, there is the sound of the stormy sea, the white capped waves.

1MKA, 1FSA, 1MKA

CO D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0280

2016-2017

2017-03-19

M

A

I'm in the hypnopompic state before awakening. It's as if images are being projected onto the wall and windows of my bedroom. Suddenly, as if projected by a dull laser light on the walls, in the air, people are fighting, shooting, running. The room turns chaotic, messy, a blur of objects rush toward and past me. I control fear by telling myself I'm invincible. There's a toilet full of mucus and vomit. Things are thrown about. Suddenly, though the laser images continue, it's quiet. Then, a droning sound. Is it me? Am I snoring? Moaning? Can everyone in the building hear it? Is it a stifled scream? I wake up.

2JSA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0281

2016-2017

2017-03-19

M

A

I'm in a house testing small car-like toys, which run on powdered fuel (possibly marijuana), magnetism, or glide on a specially constructed green carpet like surface. A heavyset young woman urges me to test the toys at a park. I tell her I'm not interested. I tell her it would be like watching a wind-up toy moving in a straight line. I tell her I'm interested in the toys that run on powdered fuel.

1FSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0282

2016-2017

2017-03-20

M

A

At night, I'm with a group of people seeking to escape and hide. We are not criminals. We've done nothing wrong. We're more like activists, or people seeking sanctuary. I lead the group through a wealthy neighborhood, similar to a village somewhat near where I live. Cautiously, with a white muslin cloth draped over all our heads, we enter a large house. I open a door, which leads to the spacious and ornate living room. We continue walking. There is soft music. Danger. Someone is near. The group hides behind furniture. In the dim light, I stand still, trying to blend in with a desk and chair. A short woman, talking to someone else, comes by. I pretend I'm invisible, she sees me, continues talking, as if she wants me to respond. She leaves, but from a stairway, her teenage brings us cardboard canisters of food. "I would have brought more," he says, "but I'd need three hands." I thank him, and pass the food to the group, though stepping down from a table or platform I almost fall. This family, knowing who we are, have risked helping us. Modest and calm, they have helped us.

2JSA, 1FSA, 1MSA, 1FSA, 2JKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0283

2016-2017

2017-03-22

M

A

Having spent a long day at college, I'm walking through a building similar to my grammar school. In a long corridor, two professors walk behind me. I want to be alone, walk faster, and imagine meeting David B on campus. How long has it been? We will stand silent in front of each other. Who will speak or move first? My eyes tear up. I want to tell him I'm sorry. I will move first. He will keep still, will tell me to do the same. One of the professors and I converge at a stairway. A tall distinguished looking black man, wearing a suit and tie, his demeanor is similar to Morgan Freeman.<span style="display:none;">[152]</span> As we descend the long staircase, he says, "And now for the next event." He means the next academic venture. Instead of walking, from the top step I jump and float slowly down. I say to myself, "It's like a pinball machine, people and events knocking into each other, bumping off, a constant stream of interactions." Waking, I continue talking about the interconnectedness of things.

1MKA, 1MOA, 1MSA, 1MPA

SD D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0284

2016-2017

2017-03-23

M

A

A game of football is underway. The field is similar to the yard at My old high school, though much larger: a long black rectangle with permanent white lines. The opposing teams' kicker, a large burly boy, immediately spirals the ball ninety degrees out of bounds. A member of his team walks the ball to us. With a teammate, I talk to him; there is confusion over who has ball possession. My partner and I take out our cell phones and my grammar school.

1MOA, 1MOA, 1MKA, 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0285

2016-2017

2017-03-23

M

A

I'm at a playground similar to the one at School, running about, looking for someone. Carefully I circle around a small cluster of tall thin male college students. One student photographs another student; all are dressed in long flowing black coats. Turning a corner, I enter an area similar to the yard at My old high school. Hundreds of people, mostly high school students, are here to attend Army Day. A very large group, composed of students and somewhat older people, walking five or six abreast, march toward me. Others line up by the twenty foot high chain-link fence, waiting to speak with Army recruiters. Is that a Cav patch logo on a boys T shirt?<span style="display:none;">[153]</span> No. I want to meet someone, but there's no one here that I recognize. I'm alone.

2MSA, 1MOA, 2JOA, 2JOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0286

2016-2017

2017-03-24

M

A

I'm a passenger on a commercial jet. Dressed in a white shirt and neutral colored vest, a young steward, who is slightly bald, somewhat short, very professional and confident, walks down the aisle, checking tickets. At my turn, he makes pleasant small talk, then takes what remains of my ticket, a small ball similar to the center of an onion, from which I've picked nearly all the outer skin. The steward inspects the object, tries to read it, then asks for supporting documents. I give him medical records. In particular, an ophthalmological report. He seems happy with this, then wonders if my father has seen it. I tell him my father is dead. And my mother? She too is dead. It's clear the steward suspects fraud, but maintains his polite inquiring optimism. I show him other papers. I tell him if the VA issued the eye report he should contact them. Otherwise, contact the private doctor. I tell him other ways to confirm my identity. I'm not worried, I'm telling the truth, but it's clear the steward suspects the ticket or documents are fake, and that I'm someone else.

1MOA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MOA

HA 1MKA, AP 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0287

2016-2017

2017-03-25

M

A

I'm walking in the country and come upon a small group of adolescent Asian girls who are trying, like acrobats, to stand, one upon the others shoulders. One girl, standing on a platform, reaches her arms and hands up to the sky. Next, I pass a large group of college students who are trying to adhere themselves to a billboard covered in thick carpet and two swirling colors. By grasping the tufted fibers, laying flat and contorting their bodies, the students hope to assemble in a spiral pattern. Whenever a student loses his grip, he falls, colliding with another student, who also slides down, creating a chain reaction, which results in the spiral being continually rebuilt. This is the fun of it, which the students very much enjoy; I would be afraid of getting hit in the face. The scene changes. I'm with Dave B, sitting immobile on the floor in a room where other people mill about. Someone challenges me to fight. I stand and raise my fists, but respond in a slow measured pace, which allows the other person to taunt and hit me. Sitting back down, I turn and twist my right leg until I hear it snap. I say or think, "I've broken my leg," then stand to test it, expecting that I'll fall or have intense pain. But I'm able to walk as if there's nothing the matter.

2FEA, 2JSA, 1MKA, 2JSA, 1ISA, 1ISA

HA D, AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0288

2016-2017

2017-03-25

M

A

Outside, in a lush tropical country, I'm attending a party or gathering. When no one is looking, I pick my lower lip, and am surprised to peel off the entire first layer of chapped skin, which is shaped like a butterfly. I place the object on an end table or bureau, along with a small folded note which contains a message or personal information. Hoping someone will find these things, I watch as a young South American boy, with bowl cut straight black hair, and a broad Mayan face, discovers it. At first he thinks the insect is real. The scene changes. In farm country, I'm with the South American and two other boys. We're talking about the best places to go swimming. The problem here are the tractors, which create dust and noise as they plow or harvest the fields. Only the pool higher up on the hill or mountain is a good place to swim.

1MSA, 1MEA, 2MSA

CO D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0289

2016-2017

2017-03-26

M

A

I've been traveling and am now in the country, on the ground, resting. Hoisting my backpack, I'm off. At Bob and Patti's, I bunk with their ten year old son.<span style="display:none;">[154]</span> It's crowded and dark here and I crawl carefully from the top bunk. Heading home, at a train station, many people sit nearly right on the tracks. I sit next to the conductor, an obese man wearing a visored cap, blue chamois shirt, suspenders and black pants. He watches to be sure everyone's feet are clear of the small flat brass tracks. I move my feet at the last second, the locomotive barely missing them as the half-sized black steam engine passes slowly by. As I look downward, two or three trains speed past. Something has happened. I get up to see one train carriage toppled beneath another. "Oh my god," I say. Instead of steel wheels, the carriage is on its side has black rubber tires. Calling out, "Women and children first," I help to evacuate the passengers. Later, standing by the track, I ask the obese conductor, "What happened?" but pretends not to hear me. "Now what?" I ask, and "How do I get to New York?" But my timing is awkward; he further ignores me. What to do? I will have to find my pack, which contains a green wool Army blanket, and return to the M's. But the pack is heavy; carrying it will cause my side to hurt.

2JKA, 1MSC, 1MOA, 2JSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0290

2016-2017

2017-03-28

M

A

In a college setting I meet a young woman who resembles a college girlfriend, Sally. She is tall, thin and self-assured, attractive and sexy. I give her a psychedelic drug. The next time I see her, in a wide open area, she is walking slowly, almost standing still, apparently tripping. I approach slowly, say hello, but curb my need to embrace her, fearing she's not alright. In fact, she's in control, and must leave soon. "It's called business class," she says, making a sour face. I feel guilty. She's tripping, and I don't know and don't tell her how long it will last. But at least she's well, and my fears are unfounded. I refrain from embracing her when we say goodbye.

1FSA

AP D, AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0291

2016-2017

2017-03-31

M

A

A military man is talking about a cement cellar located near a firing range. Its wall are just sturdy enough to withstand a bullet, though perhaps not. The scene changes. In a cramped wooden house, I'm the third platoon medic, looking at a album of 8x10 photos.<span style="display:none;">[156]</span> There's a picture of myself, barely recognizable: a grunt hung in a tree, not the iconic photo taken in Song Be.<span style="display:none;">[157]</span> Someone knocks at the door; another GI, a tall athletic and confident man who resembles Bill W.<span style="display:none;">[158]</span> I tell him I'm the third platoon medic. He mumbles a question. "What?" I ask. The exchange happens twice. "Do you have any clothes?' he finally asks. Clearly a transfer, not an FNG, I lead him up a steep narrow staircase, whose steps are like the rugged switchbacks encountered when climbing from Todos Santos to a nearby hamlet, T'chpukla. As we ascend the stairs I reflect that he's a unique person with an individual life story, but grunts are replaceable, disposable, like the dead Marines in body bags I had viewed the day before.<span style="display:none;">[160]</span> I tell him there are clothes in this room. Any questions talk to the NCO.<span style="display:none;">[161]</span>

1MOA, 1MOA, 1MOA, 2MOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0292

2016-2017

2017-04-02

M

A

I'm in a movie theater, sitting in the back, watching the feature film. Behind me, a young light-skinned black couple periodically whisper comments. Frustrated by their voices, I turn around, but it's pitch dark. I imagine being a plainclothes policeman, like Frank Serpico.<span style="display:none;">[162]</span> With authority I will turn and tell them to be quiet. When they ignore me, or heckle me, I will shoot them both in the head. I continue watching the film. The black man, who has Native American features, stands up, leans over, grabs my arm in a wrestling hold, pours something on my arm. I can't move. There's nothing I can do but call out, to scream in the darkness, "Help! Someone call the police! Help! Help!" The black man is stunned and frightened. I continue calling, and wake still mumbling for help, not sure if I'm sleeping or if my voice will disturb the other tenants.

2JSA, 1MEA, 1MOA

AN D, AP 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0293

2016-2017

2017-04-03

M

A

I'm given a puppy, a cross between a Samoyed and an Australian sheep dog. She's somewhat wild and disobedient, impulsively tugging, pulling the leash. When we lie down to rest she puts her head upon me. I say, "Just let me love you. Let me love you."

1ANI

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0294

2016-2017

2017-04-03

M

A

I've befriended a dwarf. We're playing hide and seek in an attic or basement. As he (or she) looks for a place to hide, I say, "I bet you can't talk fast without stopping," and speak word after word that comes to mind. The dwarf, entering a light green pup tent, says, "Don't look in the tent." Humorously, I say, "OK. I won't look there." Later, as we walk, I notice the dwarfs long dark hair is covered with droplets. He tells me not to worry. He knows what it is. The dwarf complains that his feet hurt from the leather of his shoes, which are similar to those worn by toddlers. He takes them off, flexes the cheap thin plastic soles. When I ask why he buys this type of shoe, he mutters inaudibly. "How much do the shoes cost?" I ask. "Let me know and I'll buy you new shoes."

1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0295

2016-2017

2017-04-04

M

A

I'm traveling down a river with several people, a sort of family, on a large powerful speed boat. We pass through high water, calm water, water that's dark or shallow. At times I feel I'll be left behind. Speeding through deep and dark, almost black water, we make one last sudden turn, causing a large black wave to roil behind us. Slowing down, the boat enters a sleepy backwater encampment hidden by trees and brush. A tall smiling man, holding his son, comes out of a boat to greet us. We're late, but he welcomes us to spend the night. I want to give to him a bundle of handwritten letters I have saved for quite some time.

2JSA, 1MSA, 1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0296

2016-2017

2017-04-05

M

A

My college friend Lynda is in my room, which is somehow haunted by the supernatural.<span style="display:none;">[163]</span> She's naked; I'm admiring her tall thin body, her loins. Red drops falls from my nose while I press it upon her sex. Lynda departs, but there on the floor, a beige patent leather high heel shoe. Whose is it? The room feels haunted. The scene changes. I enter a busy mall like open space. "Miss... Miss," I call to an unattractive middle-aged woman; her straight brown hair frames her face like a Roman helmet. "Is this your shoe?" Patient, focused, concentrated on what I've asked, she transforms into a stocky, pitted face man. "No...no," he says, and impatiently points to his right. Is he telling the truth? Getting ridding of me? Something supernatural is taking place. My dog has been here all this time. I'm petting her, loving her, though worried about Lyme disease and ticks.

1FKA, 1FSA, 1ANI

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0297

2016-2017

2017-04-06

M

A

Young and handsome, I'm making my way inside a large dim lit split-level club, circulating amongst the lively crowd, hoping to meet someone. On a balcony, a young man sits at a table with several attractive women. How do they do it? Socialize, meet people. Everyone appears at home, at ease. I wander past a short brunette woman, and for an impulsive second feel attracted to her. We make small talk. She and her look-alike sister are taken aback. "You're a man!" she exclaims. "And you have a mustache!" I say, "My sisters have mustaches too!" And still they marvel; it's clear these women are developmentally disabled. To my left, three young men, their cousins or brothers. "There are more of them, " I say, attempting humor. In truth, I feel superior and guilty.

2JSA, 1MSA, 2FSA, 1FSA, 2MSA, 2MSA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0298

2016-2017

2017-04-06

M

A

Sitting in the back of a deserted theater, I recognize an Italian mobster who stands toward the entrance. A police detective arrives. I try pointing out the mafiosi without giving myself away. Then I raise my arms. Then I point directly at the mobster, a handsome mustachioed and powerful looking man, wearing a white shirt, with curly swept back hair. What does it take for the cop to understand? Is he also in the mob? The Italian walks to the back of the theater. He leans over me. "Frank...Frank," I say. "Don't do it." He slowly collapses on me. I feel a cold liquid on my arm.

1MOA, 1MOA, 2MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0299

2016-2017

2017-04-06

M

A

I'm in the ocean, far from land. Only flat calm water is visible. A flat square piece of orange plastic, about the sized of a note book, pops out of the sea. Several times I yell, "Help!...Help!" but no one can hear me. Somehow, easily, (is it by my former girlfriend Karen?), I'm saved, back on land. All the while, I've not afraid, but aware how ordinary it is, the possibility of dying.

1FKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0300

2016-2017

2017-04-06

M

A

In a busy building, I'm taking S to court. By accident I leave a favorite book in a bathroom. When I return, it's gone. I hurry to a four-foot high cinder block bookcase arranged in a square. To obtain another copy of the book I must climb over the ledge, but my side hurts. Instead, I grip one ledge, lean down, hoist my legs atop the short wall, pull myself up and over. In the court hallway I meet S, who wears a baseball cap. He's visibly aged, is frail, thinner, smaller, wrinkled. Instead of hostility, we greet as friends. The scene changes. I'm late to court, crawling on hands and knees down a cobblestone hallway, imagining Russian spies may look to thwart me.

1MKA, 2IOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0301

2016-2017

2017-04-08

M

A

I'm in a darkened cozy bar, similar to Club 55 in Greenwich Village. A middle-aged black man sits near me. He begins playing a small trumpet or bugle. When he's finished the song, with deliberation, to show true respect, not to patronize him, I say, "I like your music very much." We talk a bit. The bar gradually empties. A cop approaches me, a burly state trooper, who discreetly tests my backpack for drugs. It's similar to the border crossings in Guatemala in 1992, and Mexico 1994. As in life, I'm not afraid. I don't have drugs. Not long afterward, preparing to leave, as I put on my cap and coat, I ask the cop, "Have you seen my pack?" He looks under the bar, nearly pitch black; it's not there. "Shit," I say, and tell him I'll check up front. I imagine seeing someone hoping to walk out with my pack. I imagine confronting the thief.

1MSA, 1MOA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0302

2016-2017

2017-04-08

M

A

In a sandy area two young brothers with black hair collaborate on producing a film. Repeatedly, after each simulated explosion, sand splatters the face of one man. Conventional films, says the older brother, don't interest him. He wants to strip away the ego, to show the real person, the person as he is, not the outcome of thinking.

2MSA, 1MSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0303

2016-2017

2017-04-09

M

A

Outside Ed Svasta's office I learn that long ago Bob and Janice M lied that I had stole things, lied about another event too.<span style="display:none;">[164]</span> <span style="display:none;">[165]</span> When I challenge Bob, he begins to physically fight back. Without an appointment, I enter Ed's office just as he's saying goodbye to a patient, a tall man with swept back hair. Afterward Ed says to me, "I can see you for a moment." But when I enter his therapy room, instead of chairs and Bioenergetic equipment, Ed sits behind a lunch counter, making a sandwich for a customer.

1MKA, 1FKA, 1MKA, 1ISA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0304

2016-2017

2017-04-09

M

A

On a clear moonlit night in New York I'm walking home through an alley similar to that at my grammar school. By chance, I'm beside a woman I may know. "Are you..." I ask, then stop; there's no need to descend to fandom. It's Sasheer Zamata, who is beautiful, her face radiant, her Afro hair tied with a red bandana.<span style="display:none;">[166]</span> As we walk together, she continues to look straight ahead. "I'm not trying to pick you up," I tell her. "I live on Eastern Parkway."<span style="display:none;">[167]</span> She does not reply. I tell her how people mistake me for F. Murray Abraham, about leaving a message on his answering machine, about the message he left on mine.<span style="display:none;">[168]</span> But Sasheer Zamata will have none of it, and remains silent, even though I assure her it's just polite conversation. The scene changes. I'm with someone, possibly Dave C, inside my building, whose pleasing well-lit interior now resembles the grim halls of Ivy Hill.<span style="display:none;">[169]</span> I point out to Dave the dismal sameness of each floor: the dark, narrow hallways; the shoddy tiled floor; the grim cement stair fire exits. I tell him that on this level the glass window in the fire exit door was likely broken by the same long haired youths who yesterday peered through my first floor window, looking to break it, until I unholstered and brandished a pistol.

1FKA, 2MSA, 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0305

2016-2017

2017-04-11

M

A

I ask two burly K9 cops about their German Shepherd. When confronted by a suspect, when do they approach with the dog leashed, and under what conditions is the unleashed dog sent to attack a perpetrator? In reply, one cop asks what I know about K9s. I tell him about the incident in Cambodia.<span style="display:none;">[170]</span>

2MOA, 1ANI, 1MSA, 1MOA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0306

2016-2017

2017-04-13

M

A

At a grim New York hospital I find my way to an office for radiation therapy, but the clerk tells me I can't just enter as I please, and directs me elsewhere. At the right office, after I lie upon an exam table, a nurse places needles in both my arms, and draws blood. I must hold my arms behind my head until the treatment is done. The scene changes. At a busy restaurant, when I go to pay the check, I see Rosanna Arquette and another woman, who I can't take my eyes away from. <span style="display:none;">[171]</span> In the meantime, Rosanna talks with a female manager about finding work. As the manager relates in detail where she must go to apply, Rosanna, who appears desperate, interrupts her. "OK, I'll go there," she says. Immediately, she and her friend leave. It's clear my staring has made her uncomfortable. Someone else, possibly Bob M, expresses interest in Arquette. I tell him her gimpy walk hints she's a drug addict.

1FKA, 1FKA, 1FSA, 1FOA, 1MSA

AP 1MKA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0307

2016-2017

2017-04-14

M

A

For the excitement, one after another I enter the unoccupied homes in a wealthy and forested suburban neighborhood. After entering the kitchen of one particular house, an old New England dwelling with low narrow doorways, low ceilings, thickly painted walls, detailed panels and trim, I can't find my way out. Finally, I open a door, which leads up a small stone or cement stairway to a densely wooded yard. As I'm walking away, a small boy comes running down a narrow path and waves hello. I do the same. But from here, how do I find my way home? The streets are vaguely familiar, but I don't know where I am.

1MSC

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0308

2016-2017

2017-04-14

M

A

I'm an actor in a science fiction movie. It's so odd to see how movies are made. Scenes with dialog are filmed separately. Actors speak their lines to the camera. Skillful editing creates the illusion of two people conversing. In my scene, with a female actor, we fire a laser weapon, or one is fired at us.

1FOA, 1MOA

CO D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0309

2016-2017

2017-04-14

M

A

At night, in the rain, I bid a woman goodbye. Having inherited real estate, she's now a landlord. "You're set," I say, and ask to be in touch. I may need a place if I move. She asks what sort of apartments I've rented. I tell her mostly middle end, not luxury. She gives me her business card, a folded piece of paper with her name and address on one half, the names and email addresses of many people in a social group. I want to tell her such information should not be on a business card, but I say nothing.

1FSA, 2JSA

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0310

2016-2017

2017-04-16

M

A

On an island a woman in 19th century garb has conspired to have her husband murdered. She stands looking seaward; behind her, an ironing board. Far out at sea, on a large ocean boat, a worrisome man wearing a straw hat sits in a small boat fixed on a gangplank above calm water. Worried but resigned to his fate, he tells a pair of crew members to release the boat from the plank. Back on land, the ironing board falls away from the woman; a shimmering cloud descends upon her. An older woman, possibly her mother, comes by. The two women witness a wooden plank rising from a cylindrical hole filled with boiling water. Standing near the hole, the older woman chants, "Talk to us, spirits. Talk to us." A ghost like figure begins to form in the steam.

1FSA, 1MSA, 2MOA, 1FSA, 1FSA

AP D

vietnam_vet3

Vietnam Vet: 2016-17 dreams

0311

2016-2017

2017-04-17

M

A

On a sunny day in a well lit college classroom a female Marine officer teaches the Vietnam war. I make a comment about Larry M, telling her and the class that Larry, from the South, is a good person, but his reports on Vietnam are based solely on internet searches. He means well, but that's not how it's done. The teacher approaches me when the class ends. In her WWII olive drab uniform, smiling, friendly, she hands me a well-used leather-bound bible, one of several she has in hand. She says the Marines call it the (un-recollected). She turns to talk with another student. But why did she give me a bible? I wait for her to finish talking, then interrupt her. She says the bible was a gift for my comments about Larry.

1FOA, 1MKA, 2JOA, 1IOA